CWCki - User contributions [en]

CatKnight Interview 3

2016-02-09T16:19:51Z

Notslowpoke: /* Transcript */

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[[CatKnight Interview 2|After two other successful interviews]], [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] fan Arthur Spatchcock makes a glorious return with his greatest interview yet of the [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] Christine Weston Chandler on 2 February 2016.

== Highlights ==

Arthur Spatchcock questions Chris about some information about his past that Arthur and his associates found here on the CWCki, such as the [[BlueSpike]] incident, death of Chris's pet cat [[Chandler_Cats#Scamper|Scamper]], etc. Chris also performs his nightmare fuel [[Donald Duck impersonation]], and states he once received a Tupperware full of '''HORSE''' manure. The two then discuss a bit of business and Sir Arthur Spatchcock suggest Chris do a demonstration of his incredible voice acting with his [[Sonichu Amiibo|Sonichu Amiibo]] and himself.

[[Image:Horsemanure.png|240px|thumb| A theory on how Chris might have known it was horse shit in the container.]]

== Audio ==
Currently no video is available, but the audio is available to listen [https://soundcloud.com/cat-knight-430471584/interview3/s-U64WP here].

==Transcript==
'''Arthur:''' Hello, Christine? 
'''Chris:''' Yes, hello Arthur. 
'''Arthur:''' Oh, how are you doing today? 
'''Chris:''' I'm alright. 
'''Arthur:''' Fantastic— 
'''Chris:''' Al—alright—let's get down to the, uh, what are your new questions and inquiries? 
'''Arthur:''' Well, yes, my associate has spent the last few days unfortunately looking over the C-W-C-I-K-I, what was it called again? 
'''Chris:''' The CWCki. 
'''Arthur:''' The CWCki. I see. Yes, they were overlooking it and they came across a few more slightly less than appropriate things and they really wanted to get some clarification about those. 
'''Chris:''' Yes... 
'''Arthur:''' I told them I'd contact you, and get the straight-and-narrow answers right from the horse's mouth. 
'''Chris:''' Yes. Alright, well, fire away. 
'''Arthur:''' Alright. Well, that's not all I have; I also have a few more Sonichu questions that are much more business-oriented, but let's get the ''horrible'' things out of the way first. How's that sound? 
'''Chris:''' Yes, that sounds very good. 
'''Arthur:''' Alright. Well, we're gonna start off right with the biggest issue, I think, it's—I'm going to call it the BlueSpike incident. 
'''Chris:''' Oh yes, the, uh, that was the uh, one of my theoretical ex-girlfriends, who turned out to be a, y—who turned out to be a troll, turned out to be an immature boy, I have no idea whether he's alive or not, whatever, still. B—but anyways, aside from that, and I—so I ended up making a drive all the way from Cleveland, Ohio, and uh... then I ended up with a fi—I ended up going to the address that was provided there, and, uh, d—and the p—em, BlueSpike was not there at all, just an old woman and the house looked run-down, nearly run down as well. 
'''Arthur:''' That's just horrible, why would someone do that? 
'''Chris:''' [''[[sigh]]''] Well, they're either bored, jealous, immature, what have you, all the stereo—amongst the stereotypical reasons. 
'''Arthur:''' I bet it was jealousy. Alright, now the next thing that falls into the same cate''gory'' is: did he actually have you—did y—I nee—I need to know if you faked this or not—did he actually have you insert broken pieces of your medallion into your rectum? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, unfortunately, that... is true. 
'''Arthur:''' That's just horrible. How could that happen? That's—I can't believe it. Oh my god. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I believe a—I believe at that time my PlayStation Network account was being held hostage as well... if I remember correctly. 
'''Arthur:''' Okay, okay, so he was holding your thing hostage, so you were just forced into a situation you didn't like. I could understand that. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, and then I—and then I—later on I finally realized that all the time I should have called Sony and actually had them, pa—re—patch up the password and that would have fixed it, I wouldn't have had to go through all that. So that's too—that's big lesson learned, and ingrained into my memory, against my will, pretty much. 
'''Arthur:''' Yes, it sounds horrible, I can't believe it myself, but it hurts me to think that happened to you. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Arthur:''' But enough about that, um, okay, we covered that, I'm glad we got that out of the way first and foremost, the um, the next thing is, um, it's not so much important, but they wanted to make sure because of, y'know, animal rights activists and whatnot, um, when your [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house burned down]], which by the way: I feel for you, it's a horrible thing to have happen to anybody— 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Arthur:''' even though it wasn't the whole thing, thankfully, but still, um, there were rumors being passed around the CWCki, as you called it, that one of your pets died. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yes, one cat. His name was [[Chandler_Cats#Scamper|Scamper]]—the, uh, cleaners found his body behind the toilet upstairs and—died of smoke inh—inhalation. 
'''Arthur:''' Oh, that's horrible. My—my heart goes out to you. 
'''Chris:''' Well, anyway, anyway—we buried his body in the back yard, and uh, and had a moment of silence there and all that. 
'''Arthur:''' It's a horrible way to lose a pet, but, you know, I understand that hopefully he didn't die painfully. 
'''Chris:''' [''[[sigh]]''] Well, I wish I could have—wish I'd known that he was up there, I would've gotten him out when we were all getting out. 
'''Arthur:''' Well, at least you're alive, and that's what matters. 
'''Chris:''' Yes. 
'''Arthur:''' Now that we've covered that, I mean, I mean, we don't want the animal rights activists to come running forward and think that you didn't care enough, you just let the pet die. 
'''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, I did care, and for a while we thought that he had gotten out, but we were not totally positive, but then we finally came to closure after the cleaners found the body, so—[''[[sigh]]''] my other cat Lucy missed him very much, but su—and, uh, recently we adopted another male cat from the SPCA, eh... 
'''Arthur:''' It's always nice to adopt rather than get a new kitten. It's always nice to adopt. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. And m—and I wanted to make sure it was an adult cat though, I didn't want to go for a kitten at the time, and it was male, so—eeyel, he and Lucy are getting along fairly well. 
'''Arthur:''' Alright, now this is—this is a slight business question, but um, on the CWCki, it mentions something about you losing a job before, from terrifying a small child. 
'''Chris:''' [''[[sigh]]''] No, no—uh, y—uh, that, yeah that was, uh, someon—that was nearly the beginning of the decade, uh, well, millenium. Uh, when I had—when I was working at Wendy's for the few months, I did not terrif—there was a child crying, [[Chris and English|because child was tired]]; I had nothing to do with making that child cry. Had nothing to do with it whatsoever, and when I—and I was just, happened to be at the same table, nearby, when—as it was happening, and I went by there, an—ano—I wa—I wanted to help them be on their way, so I got—so I offered to get them a lid for their baked potato they were having, and I got them a lid for their baked potato. 
'''Arthur:''' So it—'cause it says on the CWCki, it had something to do with Donald Duck. 
'''Chris:''' [''using [[Donald Duck impersonation]]''] I tried to—I tried to like, entertain the children with the Donald Duck voice. [''quacking noises''] 
'''Chris:''' [''normal voice''] But yeah, that was not the case at that time. 
'''Arthur:''' That was pretty good! I like that, that's nice. That completely caught me off guard. [''stilted laugh''] 
'''Chris:''' Yes. 
'''Arthur:''' That was funny. 
[''brief silence''] 
'''Arthur:''' So he nothing to do with that. But nice to know, I just—still, it's nice to see—your voice acting's pretty impressive, 'cause I was actually going to ask you, later on, that um, we'll save it for the end though. Let's wait 'til we get near that first. 
'''Chris:''' I—I think you mean, if I'm to differentiate between my own voice and the voice of Sonichu, yeah, there will be a slight difference. 
'''Arthur:''' Oh, don't worry; I—I have an idea at the end, that I'd just love for you to do, but we'll save it for the end when we get near that. 
'''Chris:''' Alright. 
'''Arthur:''''Cause, after all, I wanna get these questions punched out, real quick-like, and then we can go on to a little business talk, and then I can share some more information with you. 
'''Chris:''' [''[[sigh]]''] 
'''Arthur:''' But first, next question: uh, this one is the last, uh this is the last one from the CWCki, and the rest of it's business-associated-wise, really. Um, this question is, it has something to do with your church. We don't want religious people coming after us thinking you're anti-Semitic, or you're atheist, or something like that. 
'''Chris:''' I am none of those things. 
'''Arthur:''' None of those things. So, it says on the CWCki you were kicked out of your previous church. 
'''Chris:''' Um, yeah—that was—yeah, that was because the, uh, pa—because my past friend Joshua Martinez, uh, shi—uh, show, shared with the pastor of that church about, uh, my Faceb—about my My—not sure if it was my MySpace—yeah, I think it was my MySpace page that I used to have, um, yeah, I had, uh, there were a few images of, uh, women—of women on there, at the time, and, uh, he did not like that. And so he inform—he informed me that I was not welcome to his con—to his church there. 
'''Arthur:''' Okay, okay. And— 
'''Chris:''' Uh, so, it was just a—that was the only matter. It had nothing to do with [[Chris and English|Semitism]] or whatever, all of that. Nothing to do with any of that. 
'''Arthur:''' And are you getting along with your current congregation? 
'''Chris:''' Yes. I'm—and I'm still walking to the ch—to my current church, I just have not been there in a long time. 
'''Arthur:''' Well, it's understandable, understandable, you don't make it every Sunday, after all. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Arthur:''' Okay, that's—that's like the last real, y'know, ''personal'' question in the sense of how deep you wanna go into the CWCki. Everything else is just based on everyday life. Like, for example, I have a few questions about Impulse. Impulse is a club, I believe? 
'''Chris:'''Yes, it's a LGBTQ club in Charlottesville, Virginia, open on Fridays and Saturday—Friday and Saturday nights. 
'''Arthur:''' And, do you go often? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I have not been in a while, but I did go there about near every—about near ev—near every Saturday night for a while, I was looking to meet more women. 
'''Arthur:''' Ah, more women. It's a good place to go. 
'''Chris:''' Yes. Yeah. 
'''Arthur:''' So it's it's- 
'''Chris:''' [interrupting Arthur] It was a good place. 
'''Arthur:''' So, technically, going to Impulse is an impulse for you. 
'''Chris:''' Ha! [pause] Tha- That- That's a fairly good play on words there. Um, not really but it's- I do- I realize I- I give it a try after I figure myself out, uh, the couple of- The few- The couple of years ago. That was uh, lesbian trasformate. 
'''Arthur:''' Okay, okay, because I saw that and I don't think that's going to be a big deal with this show. After all there's all kinds of, there's all kinds of people involved with entertainment these days that our transsexual or lesbian or gay, doesn't matter anymore. That's not a big thing. People won't worry about that. 
'''Chris:''' [interrupting Arthur] Right.. Um yeah but I think uh I do understand that the uh general question um among which [pause] about the uh group, of women that usually went there.. really big.. and all that. Sorta like a name calling, but no, that was not the case, because uh, I did not know all their names... uh the manager had slipped- I taped a uh piece of paper onto the uh counter at the part... at the part side closet to the uh stage. Yeah. He called them the uh quote unquote, "Itty bitty titty per- parade". Sometin' like that. 
'''Arthur:''' I think the terminology is "Itty Bitty Titty Committee". 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, that was it. But anyway, um, yeah because I did not know their names, that was just, I mean I didn't- it- it came to my mind, so that's, was just a... offhand reference. Had nothin' to do with my opinions, or anything- or what- or anything that- it- I was just borrowing the term. 
'''Arthur:''' Okay, alright, understandable. Hey, we all say dumb things. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Arthur:''' Okay! Last one, and then straight to Sonichu. It's gonna be perfect. Um, I noticed on the CWCki, it mentions that every once in a while, you get... gifts? And donations? From people, sometimes surprising, sometimes anticipated? 
'''Chris:''' Yes. Yes. 
'''Arthur:''' Wh-what kind of things do you get? I mean exactly, I mean I hope you're not getting, like, shoe boxes full of cat poop, or... You know... 
'''Chris:''' Uhh, no no no, um, so that does not happen, very often... Uh, only once... time, only one time, though, somebody had sent me a Tupperware full of... Horse manure... And we put that- and we put that in the- 
'''Arthur:''' (''stifled laughter, breaking character'') I'm sorry, no, you gotta be kiddin'- (''in character)'' no. That's just wrong. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. That- th- anyway w- we put that in the trash immediately after we figured that- 
'''Arthur:''' I would hope so! 
(''pause'') 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
(''pause'') 
'''Arthur:''' Okay, so- like- but- like- d'you get money or is it like, um, like useful household items like soap or toilet paper, things like that? 
'''Chris:''' Um, yeah, they ha- ye- ma- ye- yeah especially after the, uh, fire, we have received a few helpful... Items... In- in th- in the mail. Uhh, we have received m- we have received s- some monetary donations around Christmas time, like, um... One or two actual, functional, gift cards to be redeemed, but uh- but somebody, uhh, one or two sent me EMPTY gift cards, as a... Joke. 
'''Arthur:''' (''uncaringly'') Now that's just mean... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but it's like, uh, y'know, I don't ha- I don't have to actually go out, uh, and be like "Oh I'm going to use the gift card! I don't know whether it's blank or not!" No, I verify them through the, uh, 800 number, that the web address lists on there. 
'''Arthur:''' Oh, that's clever. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... I mean it- it bothers me that- it bothers me only a little bit, it ticks me off only minorly, but I've pretty much gotten used to that, along with the other... prank... bad... thing... uh... gifts, or... le- or hate mail, as to put it. And I just know to, just overlook this- overlook that, and be like... Heck with it. 
'''Arthur:''' Heck I'd always look inside all of 'em, just to make sure there's not a card inside, or something.
{{Transcript}}

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Phone calls]]

CWCville

2011-10-26T00:28:00Z

Notslowpoke: minor punctuation/grammatical changes

[[File:Damntrolls.png|center|450px]]

{{quote|I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There [[Chris and English|is]] [[Wikipedia:North Korea|no elections]].|[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]}}

<center>{{#ev:youtube|8UP6mEJrj1I}}</center>

{{Quote|The city of CWCville, a vibrant community with happy people, [[boyfriend-free girl|cool chicks]] and a [[virgin with rage|frustrated male]]...|Narrator, [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]<ref>[[:File:SchuComic3Page30.jpg]]</ref>}}
'''CWCville''' (pronounced: [kwɪkvɪɫ], "quick-ville") is [[Chris]]'s imaginary world, created from a combination of his twisted views on the world and pop-culture to work as a place where he can hide away from the hardships of reality and make all his wishes, ideas, and deranged fantasies become true.

==Overview==
[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|thumb|left|The toys that started it all.]]
[[Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|thumb|200px|Sonichu and Rosechu's welfare housing in relation to the rest of CWCville (note their postal code is the same as Chris's birthday and its address is nearly identical to his real address).]]
[[File:cwcville1.jpg|thumb|200px|A slightly more detailed (but no less disproportionate) drawing of CWCville.]]

CWCville is the setting of [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], a city in [[Virginia]] of which [[Chris]] is Mayor-for-Life. CWCville is where Chris portrays friends and enemies from his real life in scenarios altered to reflect [[Ego|his bias toward himself]]. As his ideal metropolitan community, CWCville illustrates Chris's poor understanding of how a city actually functions. Like everything else that appears in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]], Chris believes CWCville to actually exist in a parallel universe.<ref>[[Chris and reality#Fantasy and fiction]]</ref> Chris has claimed to be mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> As an entity Chris believes to be real, CWCville is a coping mechanism used to compensate for his unsatisfying actual life.

It has been argued that the unconquerable quality of Chris's [[ego]] stems from the fact that he can retreat to his own CWCville world, where he can right all wrongs done to him. In his comics, we see him defeating [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with whom he holds an IRL grudge, beating around the Jerkops, and bringing his dead dog, [[Patti Chandler]], back to life in the form of the anthropomorphic [[Patti-Chan]]. The main reason Chris can do such superhuman acts, such as defeating a whole army of huge [[Jerkops]] and resurrecting his dead dog, is due to the fact that in CWCville, his will is supreme. This serves as a blanket that protects his physically and mentally weak self from the outside world, where he holds no such power.

Chris is greatly concerned by people who are misinformed about any detail of CWCville, or conclude that it is anything but "a clean, secure, orderly and safe city."<ref>[[Mailbag 35#Except when half of it gets destroyed by giant robots]]</ref> After being coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] the new Mayor of CWCville,<ref>[[March 2009]]</ref> Chris repeatedly stated that this was not true.<ref>[[Mumble 11|Mumble #11]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]</ref><ref name=p32/> Chris seems to think that anyone who understands what CWCville is like will love it.

The seeds of CWCville were planted early into Chris's life. At some point, Chris put all of his completed [[LEGO]] kits, original LEGO creations, and various handmade ''Sonichu'' items together on one table in his room. In February 2011, Chris claimed to have finally disassembled the LEGO model, but he insisted that the city "still stands strong today within my own mind and hands."<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]</ref>

The first official CWCville media was made in 2001.<ref>[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]</ref> After toying with more phonetic spellings, Chris settled on "CWCville"<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]]</ref> in 2003. This spelling consecutively features the initials of his full name and its pronunciation must be explained to others, indicative of CWCville's nature as a self-serving and insular fantasy.

Chris has repeatedly associated CWCville with Charlottesville, VA, likely the largest and most familiar urban environment in his life. Chris has presented footage of Charlottesville as footage of CWCville.<ref>[[Rollin' and Trollin']]</ref> He has stated that CWCville is as important and worthy of respect as every American city that begins with "C", but mentioned only Charlottesville by name, calling it "the most important one" of these "C-Villes", as if Chicago, for example, was less important than Charlottesville.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> CWCville is said to have an annual Dogwood Festival,<ref name=p32>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_32 Issue 9/Page 32]</ref> also an annual Charlottesville tradition. This association further illustrates Chris's narrow perception of the outside world.

However, a map in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] shows CWCville as being near Pallet Town and Giovanni's Gym in Viridian City, featured in the ''[[Pokémon]]'' series and located in Kanto, an area based on the [[Wikipedia:Kantō region|Kantō region]] in Japan. It is also located near [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure#Gameplay|Station Square]], found in Sonic the Hedgehog's world.

Given Chris's humongous ego, it's surprising that didn't he give himself a whole country to begin with, or better yet, a whole fucking planet. He later created the land of [[RuleCWC]], an idiotic Hyrule ripoff, but he actually let someone else rule it.

==Name==
One of Chris's [[The Wall of Originals|homemade ''Pokémon'' cards]] featured a "'''Cwick City''' Gym", while [[City of Cwicville Tour!|an unfinished Game Boy Camera project]] dating from [[2001]] used the spellings "'''Cwicville'''" and "'''Cwickville'''". A sign on the door to his room reads "Christian W. Chandler's Cwickville City Gym". It is unknown why he changed the spelling. Likely the alternate spelling just didn't stimulate [[Chris and his ego|his massive ego]] as much as his unaltered initials, even if it makes a lot less sense. (Although Christown, Chandlerville, etc. would have been just as good and made a lot more sense.)

Without knowing the "correct" pronunciation of the name, the fact remains that "CWCville", unlike any proper English word, begins with four consonants in a row. Using conventional phonology, the name is pretty difficult to utter, unless you're Welsh, in which case it would be pronounced "cookville".

==Government and politics==
{{Quote|And for your information, my City's politics are of a King/Queen thing; NO VOTING|Chris, explaining the totalitarian state to [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]].}}

[[Image:CWCvilleArea.jpg|thumb|Map of CWCville area. Notice how [[Sonic]]'s house is bigger than the entirety of Pallet Town. Also, if you look at Station Square, you'll notice Chris's obsession with the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]]. Note how Chris needs an [[Ego|arrow pointing to himself]].]]

According to [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], CWCville was founded in [[1982]] by Chris's father, [[Bob Chandler]]. Why he would name a city after his deadshit son is unknown. And only [[GodJesus]] knows why it wasn't called RFCville, as all records of Mayor Bob's mayorship — in fact, all symbols of the old regime — have been erased (like the Roman practice of [[Wikipedia:damnatio memoriae|''damnatio memoriae'']], where all records of a traitor (statues, inscriptions, etc.) are erased after his death). It is unknown if Bob died before passing CWCville over to his son, as he has yet to be seen/mentioned in the comic.

According to the [[Samantha Thaddeus]] e-mails, the government is a "King/Queen thing" with no elections.<ref>[[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails]]</ref> There's a non-elected leader who does what he pleases, "advised" by an elected House of Representatives which sits at the CWCville Trade Center Building.<ref>[[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]</ref> Chandler is Mayor-for-Life with supreme power, and has insisted that there are no elections. Contrary to this, he has insisted that the vote has "even" been extended to [[Niggos|those of African descent]] (though [[Women's rights|apparently not to women]], as some women are seen [[Sonichu 8#Episode_17:_Epilogue|protesting]] in order to gain suffrage in CWCville). The issue is further convoluted when Chris says that voting is strictly for the Board of Director Members<ref>[[Mailbag 37|Mailbag #37]]</ref>, though Chris shows that they still hold no authority, existing as a purely advisory committee which the Mayor is not obligated to listen to. For example, he does not discuss attacking the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building with them, he just tells them the "game plan" as a ''fait accompli''.

[[Image:Chris Jong-Il.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's depiction of CWCville's beloved [[Chris|Mayor]].]]
[[Image:CWCville.jpg|thumb|This is what a typical city looks like after being nuked. (Note the "SS" runes.)]]

The Mayor attempts to dissuade accusations of dictatorship, citing that dictatorships are never hereditary, whereas he [[Mailbag 34#The government totally sucks|inherited the town from his father]] (even though many dictatorships ''are'' hereditary, e.g. the [[Wikipedia:Kim Il Sung|Kim dynasty]] in North Korea, the [[Wikipedia:Pahlavi dynasty|Pahlavi dynasty]] in Iran, the [[Wikipedia:Assad family|Assad dynasty]] in Syria and the [[Wikipedia:Jean-Claude Duvalier|Duvalier]] [[Wikipedia:François Duvalier|dynasty]] in Haiti).

Chris originally planned to hand over the role of Mayor to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his sister Crystal]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]<ref>[[Miyamoto_Saga#From_Chris_to_Miyamoto]]</ref>, but later decided not to. On 3 [[March 2009]], Chris announced that BILLY MAYS was the new Mayor of CWCville. The next day, Chris revoked his edict that made MAYS the new Mayor, establishing a government-in-exile in [[Chris's room|his bedroom]]. Most legal scholars, however, argue that since Chris was not wearing the [[Medallion]], which Chris has indicated is necessary for a video to be TRUE and HONEST, his statements to the contrary are false and therefore not legally binding, meaning BILLY MAYS was still the Mayor of CWCville. On 28 [[June 2009]], BILLY MAYS died in his mayoral mansion, allegedly due to a cocaine overdose, but the hand of Chandler was suspected. The city was plunged into mourning. Chris wasted no time in seizing control of CWCville, announcing during a [[Chris_chan_Discusses|post-coup interview]] that [[Wikipedia:Doublethink|he was always the ruler]] and that there would be no further elections.
[[File:SchuComic10P78.jpg|thumb|350px|The Great Director addresses his people.]]
The police don't take orders from the civil authorities and lock people up at random and [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|the only college]] is leading a hopeless resistance and is vilified in the [[Comic|mayoral-controlled press]]. [[Attraction Sign|Soliciting sex]] is legal in CWCville, whereas possession of [[tobacky|tobacco]] is a very serious offense. [[Alcohol]] was illegal until 2009, when the ban was [[Chris's Big Night Out|rescinded]]. Laws have been enacted to persecute homosexuals, and [[Mailbag 31|psychic surveillance is used to monitor sexual purity]]. This constant Orwellian surveillance, which is obviously done under the guise of "protecting" the citizens, flies completely against the basic human right to privacy. Since there is no plausible way to oversee or contest a super-powered official, it also effectively elevates the official above law. The Mayor has also hinted that the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, a group of civilian defense contractors, have [[Chris and the Law#In the Comics|immunity from prosecution]].<ref>[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3]]</ref> This goes against the concept of supremacy of law that is the very foundation of modern societies; some sociologists have pointed out that this is in fact the hallmark of all police states.

Despite all this perceived military and law enforcement might, the police and mercenaries demonstrably offer little real protection or competence: troublemakers like [[Wes Iseli]] ruin weddings with near impunity, and the [[Mary Lee Walsh|dissident leaders]] remained at large [[Sonichu 10|until recently]].

The court system is a joke. Walsh was captured, depowered, and sent to a maximum security prison without a trial. The [[Jerkops]] and [[Manajerks]] are depowered, yet were supposedly allowed to go scot-free. However, when [[Simonla Rosechu]] was murdered by a Voltorb, four people - [[Evan]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], Sean, and [[Mao]] are arrested and put on trial not even a week after, despite earlier receiving a public pardon from the Mayor. The judge is biased in Chris's favor, when all judges should be impartial. Sean is permitted to defend himself and his fellow co-defendants, despite being clearly under the influence of drugs. Nobody suggests appointing a public defender for the four. The prosecutor adds on to the charges, considering slander via the Asperpedia (which was destroyed by Chris) punishable by death, when it is a mild offense in most jurisdictions. Evidence gathered using Magi-Chan's psychic powers is considered admissible in court. When the four are found guilty by a clearly biased jury, they are immediately executed in cruel and inhumane ways.

CWCville also pays for the [[TrollBusters]]' private jet.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3|Jackie Chat #3]]</ref>

==Economy==
[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|CWCville currency]]
CWCville runs under a command economy which Chris has near-total control over: the [[KCWC|radio station]] and [[CWC Cola|soft drink company]] are named after the Mayor, which indicates either nationalization of normally private businesses or rampant cronyism. The banning of goods that the Mayor disapproves of has also contributed to the city's financial troubles. [[Tobacco]], unhealthy as it may be, is illegal to sell, possess or consume, despite the multibillion dollar value of the industry.

CWCville also mints its own currency, which comes in confusing denominations - there are two coins: the C-Quarter and W-Quarter, ten C-Quarters equaling one W-Quarter, indicating that [[Honor roll|Chris has no idea what "quarter" means]]. The W-Quarter is round and golden in color, with a silver-colored rim and the letter "W" in red in the center, while the C-Quarter is C-shaped and blue, with a silver-colored rim. Fines are levied in U.S. dollars, for unknown reasons: perhaps to add to the foreign currency reserves of the tottering dictatorship.

As of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas 2009]], ten homeless shelters have been set up: Chris himself claims that these ten-story "soup hotels" house a population of 900-1,800 indigents, and come equipped with free cable TV.<ref>[[Mailbag 20|Mailbag #20]]</ref> The Mayor's personal friends, such as [[Sonichu]], live in state-sponsored, suburban housing. He also supplied furniture for [[Wild Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], page 21</ref>

Chris claims that the city has "a lot of [[Michael Snyder|jews]] and [[Inos|immigrants]], like new york," and is on the stock exchange.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3|Jackie Chat #3]]</ref>

==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]
* [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.onetruecwcville.net/index.php onetruecwcville.net]
* [http://www.freewebs.com/cwcvillechronicles/ CWCVille Chronicles]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao1CIn7qkaY CWCville Mayor Campaign 2010]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyevn2-MU7I CWCville's National Anthem]

{{CWCverse}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]
[[Category:Fictional places]]

Calling Out

2011-08-29T22:28:18Z

Notslowpoke: /* Response to ADF */ misspelling

'''Calling Out''' refers to a series of [[videos]] [[Chris]] uploaded between 6-23 [[August 2011]], following an [[100 2357.MOV|8 month hiatus]] from [[YouTube]].

These videos showcase Chris's [[Tomgirl]] look, where he attempts to make himself look feminine. Chris is sporting new earrings in these videos, two on his right ear and one on his left. His [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] are also absent. [[Chris and cinematography|Chris's camerawork]] in this series is exceptionally shitty, opting to hold the camera with his hand instead of propping it up on a surface. This results in a very shaky, [[Barbara|Cloverfield]]-like viewing experience. The series focuses on Chris's efforts to expose his various trolls. Each confrontation consists of Chris decrying various traits of his trolls (Thorg's atheism, Jack Thaddeus's sexual interests, etc.) followed by demands for apologies and other blackmail. Oblivious as always, Chris makes the videos while failing to realize that the obese horrific "tomgirl" delivering the messages overshadows the message. Instead, Chris just exposes people's personal information and expects the Internet to do the work for him of tormenting his foes.

== Calling Out "Tito" - Don ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2461''', Chris announces his return to the [[Internet]]. He claims to have information regarding the true identity of various trolls, including [[Surfshack Tito]] (aka "Don"). After briefly showing viewers a fragment of a photograph of what he claims is the real Tito, Chris lists his demands to prevent the release of the full photo and, presumably, other revealing documents.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Tito" - Don
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gDuIfwZbN3c}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[100 2357.MOV]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Easily trolled by annnyooooneee.jpg|thumb|"... They could be easily trolled back by aaanyone." Intimidated?]]
[''Looks at camera with an emotionless face, and then jerks the camera to his right'']

Attention, citizens of the internet. I am making a return. [[Chris and Ego|Y'all should know me by now]], if in case if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] and the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric hedgehog Pokemon]]. Firstly, upon that note, I would like to inform everyone that it was originally meant to be a [[My Little Pony|TV-Y7 rated... friendship socializing, promoting type of series]]... it is not meant to be taken otherwise in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|any adulterous forms]].

[''Jerks camera around more'']

And with that, I will now continue with why I am making my return. I am ready to initiate [[Chris and negotiation|negotiations]] and paybacksss with the trolls, some cyberbullies that have been defiling me within the past five years... in the past four years. Firstly, I would like to make it well known that I have ''information'' of such trolls and cyberbullies if at that point if I release them, they could be easily trolled back by aaanyone. And, the first [[Chris and English|among chopping block]] I would like to ensue, [[Surfshack Tito|'''Surfshack Tito''']]... or should I day, Don in Michigan! And I'm not saying that he's a total [[Obesity|fat person]], but [[Random Access Humor|he would make the really big Buddha look like a supermodel in comparison]]. In fact, with his looks, he could be a [[Inos|Rasta]] Buddha! And I show you only a fragment of the [[speech impediment|pho-to-graph]]. [''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now, DON. Let's talk business. If you do not want me to review- reveal the entire pho-to-graph, or any of the remainder of your information of which I have upon my possession, [[Chris and negotiation|YOU WILL FOLLOW MY DEMANDS]]! And they are listed as such....

I want you to come forward with- come forward with your participation in, uh, [[PlayStation Network]] hackings... directly to [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment America and Sony Computer Entertainment Japan with a ''live video'', unaltered, ay, uh--slightly altered, you MAY blur your face. That is the only option that you get: Blurring your face. You will apologize to... Sony and [[Chris and english|mess up]] for hacking into the PlayStation Network at all, [[Chris and Reality|'cause I know you are responsible for that]].

And also, I would you to, in that- within that same video, or in a separate video, apologize directly to my [[Gal pal|ex-girlfriend]] Heather and her family. You may even call them up on the telephone that you are the one among which responsibole for pretending to be me... and stopping that relationship between us, 'cause I would like to have peace between my... past friends, because I don't like there to be bad things or [[Megan|ill tidings]] between people. ''(Pauses)'' And I know it was partially my fault, too, on that, by the way, within that relationship breakup.

But anyway, moving on with my demands, I would like- also like you to set to-send me via U.S. Mail, ''ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH''. American. Unmarked billssss, snail-mailed to my home address, in a long, small white... envelope, with YOUR home address clearly, legibly, hand writ-ten on the envelope in the return area. Next, I want you to remove ''ALL'' of the -cre-''ALL'' of the pages on the website known as the [[CWCki]] that have originally came from you that you have started. Also, as well as all contributions you have to any other pages as well. And lastly, from this point, after you have done these things, I would like you, ''Don'' of ''Michigan'', to leave me, my life, my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my [[SonichuBabies|friends]] ''alone''. To be, for the rest of our lives, in peace.

I leave that up to you [[Speech Impediment|Surussshack Tito]]. Expect another video in the near fu- in the near future of another troll that I am well aware of. Thank you.

== Tito's official response ==
In a clear attempt to meet Chris's demands, Tito produced a video in which he explains what lengths he is prepared to go to in order to prevent Chris from releasing his personal information. This video was acknowledged by Chris the following day.
==== Video ====
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tito's official response to Chris
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uZhlo94cMNk}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| maker = Surfshack Tito
| subject = Response to Chris's Demands
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}
}}
{{quote|This is official, true, and honest.}}

===== Transcript =====
Heh, hey, little cuz, uh, or, uh, [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]] if you prefer. It's me, uh, Tito, or Don, um. Listen man, I got some sand in the [[Navy|potato salad]] this time; you caught me, cuz. I- I admit it. I sold the security files of [[Sony|Sony]] to the hackers and I'll, uh I'll get you the money! I'll get you the thousand dollars, and the interest! Just don't- just don't release that video, eh with the picture of me, just don't do anymore, man! I'll, uh, I'll do anything, I'll be your [[Niggos|slave]] for a whole week if I have to. I got people after me, I can't have them finding out who I am, just, just be a cuz, man, and-and-and- and don't let me down. I won't let you down.

== Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, Chris calls out Thorg (aka "Jeremy", aka [[CWCki]] user [[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]]) and again sets out his demands to prevent the release of a full photograph and revealing documents. Despite his interest in [[Tomgirl|appearing and acting like a woman]], Chris demands that Thorg let the people of New York City know that he likes [[China]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6Fh0p9WXRDc}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
| next = [[#Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello, once again, the Internet! I have returned with another troll, cyberbull-y, that I am ware- aware of who he is in real life. I br- I called to your attention Master Thorg, T-H-O-R-G, or as he [is] known in real life, Jeremy, within Canada.

He is a pizza-faced [[Chris and Religion|atheist]]. You can find him possibly in a video game store. I leave the specifics disclosed at this time. And, here is a sample of ''his'' [[Speech Impediment|pho-to-graph]].

[''Chris points the camera to the television showing half the face of a man. He then returns the camera to him.'']

Now, Jeremy, let's you and I [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|talk business]] now. My demands are as follows:

Because I know and well awa- and I [am] well aware that you have Photoshopped me into that damned [[:File:Gaybar.png|gay bar]] and uploaded it- have it- you had it uploaded upon the [[20_December_2009#One_of_these_things_is_not_like_the_others|billboards]] in New York City within some time ago. I would like you to make a public apology with your face, you may blur your face out as well, but I would like the statement to follow it:

"That you are- that it is a correction that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am [[Homos|STRAIGHT]], and I have never ever been in a damned gay bar ''ever.''"

And I want that uploaded among the New York City billboards, and I want them left up there for one whole week, from one Sunday to the following Saturday. One, whole, week. Seven. days.

And that I- and also within the statements I would like you to know that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am an [[Chris and anger|all-around good-natured person]], and that I am to be treated and respected as a normal person. I am not a bad person; I do not like to be treated or thought of as a bad person, as I have been made out to be within the [[Trolls|trolls]], including yourself, Jeremy, within your [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|smearing]] and hate campaigns of my name.

My next demand: I would like you to remove all of your pages as well from the CWCki, including every last page and image that you have put up there talking about the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|Tomboy/Tomgirl forum of Virginia]]. Remove them all, as well as your contributions to any pages. And then beyond that after having completed all that, I would like you as well to leave me, my life, my family, and my friends, alone, and at peace, to live our lives respectively as well. I'll leave you all with that. Stay tuned for another revealed troll... or slightly revealed, as I am ON THE PAYBACK! [''laughs maniacally'']

I win.

== Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg" ==
In this short video, Chris sets a deadline for Don and Jeremy to meet his demands, lest [[jerkops|the authorities]] intervene: 31 August, 2011.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mP4wwvCSS7U}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Jerks around the camera and makes a wide-eyed, blank face'']

I almost forgot. Between Don and Jeremy, also known as Suresack- [[Surfshack Tito]] and Thorg, my demands, I would like them met before August 31st, 2011, the end of this month. And if my demands are not met before then, I'm gonna reveal your respective real life photographs as well as the rest of the personal information of you two in the- respectively, that I have within my possession. And then you two will b- each be trolled by your own trolls, and the [[Jerkops|police]] will catch up with you.

So, each of you. Meet my demands. Before August 31st... 2011.

[''Fumbles with the camera again, [[Chris and cinematography|almost dropping it]]'']

== Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher ==
Three days later, Chris posted a fourth video, calling out [[Alec Benson Leary]]. He's dropped the request for money and billboards, but now demands that Alec, Tito and Thorg [[Chris and hypocrisy|leave the Internet]]. He later delivers tirade concerning the [[GAMe PLACe]] and its owner, which culminates in accusing [[Michael Snyder]] of being a child molester. Chris's [[speech impediment|poor speaking skills]] are quite prevalent in this video, as he repeats the words "essentially" and "associated" numerous times. He also manages to repeat the ever-classic "My mommy- my family" line from one of his [[For My Sweetest Ivy|videos for Ivy]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WN72luEx708}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}, {{Redbra|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[It's not that cold]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
Hello, again, once again. I am here to make another [[trolls|troll]] [[speech impediment|esspos]]e as I have found anudder one amongst the bunch... the bunches! The one called [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Benson Learec- Leary]] is not who he appears to be, and certainly is NOT an original creator of [[Asperchu]]. In fact, he is not even [[Aspergers|AsPERGIAN]]! He does not have Aspergers, and he’s another [[Chris|fatty]] [[Barbara|fat]] [[Robert Chandler|fat]] [[Sammy|fat]] [[Hambeast|fat]]... [[Desi|fat]]. Aaand just le—and I do NOT have a script. I have notes.

[''Holds up a piece of lined paper and a piece of red construction paper'']

I have notes and I form my own script. Anyway, he also has ties with the, uh, [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby]] place of which he makes donaations, of wid- which I have another esspose about the Game Place. First, here is his closeup.

[''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now let’s talk... oh yeah, his real name is Christopher. So, [[Homos|Cha-ris]], let’s talk business now. What I would like from you… is essentially a live video apology for all the wrongs you have done to me over the [[Internet|innernet]] including the [[Chris and Copyright|copyright infringement on my Sonichu]] with your CHEAP, poor excuse for a 9-year-old... Asperchu, you immature [[JERKS|jerk]]! And then, I want you to leave the internet for good, and leave me and [[For My Sweetest Ivy|my mom—and my family]]... and friends at peace.

Also, on that note, I wish to make a correction to my demands with [[Surfshack Tito|Don]] and Jeremy. Essentially I have lear- Essentially I have learned from my esteemed colleague associates that [[Chris and the Law|apparently it is extortion]] to request [[Spanish|mucho dinero]], plus the billboard is no longer in effect. So therefore, I essentially still want Don to come forward with his video to Sony and to me publicly apologizing and everything, and the same goes to Jeremy. Public video apology, and both of y’all have to leave the internet for good, and leave me and my family and friends at peace.

Anyway, going back to, uh, Christopher… by the way, I know you’re in Texas. You’re in Texas, you [[Obesity|fatty fat fat]]! He has been donating to the troll cause and such over at The PLACE! The [[The GAMe PLACe|game and hobby place]] of which we are fully aware of and have grown to love and such, but there is more to THE PLACE, and its three associated stores located only within [[Virginia]], and I know from cold hard facts... including facts from a Hook article back in August of [[2002|2002]], that... the four stores, their owner, a one Mr. Robert Lightburn... is... a [[Pedofork|child molester]], and convicted sex offender in Illinois.

And think about this! The place in [[Charlottesville]] is located right across from a school, and it is owned by a child molester! Parents! Children! Associated families! I don’t think you would want anyone who is a minor, or [[Chris and Reality|even under the age of ten]] to go into such a place that is owned by a child molester, and I am sure that in association, even though he is married, [[Michael Snyder]] has his own child molestation skeleton [[Homos|in his closet]]! He probably even molested his own daughter for all I know! I do not have concrete facts, so therefore that is just theory until I am corrected. But the point is the place is owned by a child molester, and nobody should ever, ever go into that place again… and it should be closed down for good! And that’s all I have for this video right now. Stay tuned for another [[slow-in-the-minds|Trroll ess-especial twirl esspose]].

== Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2466''', Chris accepts [[Surfshack_Tito_(troll)#Tito.27s_official_response_to_Chris|Tito's attempt to meet his demands]], while Thorg appears to have made no such efforts yet. Chris is still awaiting the money he demanded (apparently forgetting that in the last video he admitted that blackmail was a felony), and another part of Jeremy's face and part of another photo Chris has obtained of him are shown to viewers.

This video also shows us that Chris now has two piercings on each ear. It was previously believed he had two on his right ear and only one on his left.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9Nn4u9b_hJk}}
| stardate = 10 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}, {{Redbra|text}}
| previous = [[It's not that cold]]
| next = [[Correction of EX relationship status]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Miss duh dadline.jpg|thumb|but miss the deadline...]]
[[File:CheckYourPriv.jpg|thumb|Y'all best remember to check your privileges, ya hear?]]
Well, it seems I have gotten a well-wise response to my recent videos...from [[Surfshack Tito|master Don]], of which I will now respond to as [[speech impediment|sutss]]. You d-you made a wise descision, Don. I am-as long as I get the money before the end of the month, I will withhold the photographs and the other information. I can promise you that, but miss the deadline... ''[widens his eyes and stares into the camera]'' and you certainly don't have to be my slave for a week. I mean, aside from the [[Niggos|slave laws]] and everything. ''[shakes head and sighs]''

Anyway, apparently I have learned from my esteemed colleague that Thorg, master Jeremy, is still not convinced I mean businesss. Well, just to show you, Jeremy, that I mean businesss, I'm going to reveal a little bit more about you.

Here is a closeup-another closeup of that pho-to-graph zoomed in on your pizza face! ''[looks off-camera at the picture and zooms in on a different part]'' Excuse me a moment. ''[whispers]'' alright, ''[mumbles, as air conditioner gets louder]'' as well as a zoom-in on a possibly more current, or possibly previous pho-to-graph of yourself. Aaand, I'm gonna reveal a couple of random tidbits about you from my notes!

Once again, Jeremy lives in Can-a-da...and he likes the typical geeky things, without being stereotypical, of course, and not offending anyone of the sort, because I am considerably one myself, because I like [[Pokemon]], [[Yu-Gi-Oh|Yu-Gi-Oh!]], and all- and [[My Little Pony|that sort]]. Apparently, uh, he is a LARPer. Live action role playing! As it was portrayed in that episode of [[Wikipedia:The Tester|The Tester]]!

''[begins to speak in a high-pitched, singsongy voice]''

"Oh, look at me, I'm [[Chris and English|trollicking]] about! We are going to be warriors and whatnot! Yay, we won the things! [[Chris and Reality|And then we're future cops, sent being- mall-for future mall cops]]! Mall cops of the future! La, la la, la la, la la! We're LARPing about! LARP LARP LARP LARP! LARP. LAAAARP. LARP! Lorp."

And we know that the atheist does not like [[Chris and Hypocrisy#"I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance|having his mind changed]] about [[GodJesus|God]]. I mean, I gotta tell you, man, God is all-powerful. How do you think the [[speech impediment|Earss]] was created aside from the big bang? Who had to put the big bang together? God! And I know from my bible ''[shows bible]'', my hand on it, that between him and [[GodJesus|Jesus]], they're pretty powerful! They're pretty powerful individuals... and I believe in them. They have- I mean, Jesus has done a lot with his miracles before he had to [[Obesity|weigh]] the cross, which I just [[Chris and his Ego|empathize]] with him on that,i mean.

''[closes eyes and inhales through teeth]'' it's like I can feel the thorns that were drug-that were drudge, plowed through his hands and his feet! [[Fail|Thorn of crowns]]. Mm. Empathy is a powerful thing.

But...I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have God or Jesus at my-by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists...are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer...I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!

You have until August 31st to reply and follow my demands of admitting...your wrongdoings, and making the public apologies via [[YouTube]] video, as I am a-well aware, as I have made note, but apparently the billboard is no longer an option. Anyway, between the YouTube public apology, and leaving the internet alone, AND leaving me, my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my friends at peace, that is what I demand of you, master Jeremy. ''[air conditioner gets louder]''

Your move. 'Cause if you're not, fulfill- if you don't don't respond by the 31st, [''[[death threats|snaps fingers and widens his eyes]]''] I mean business. Check your privileges!

== Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya ==

Chris, [[Homo|lipstick and all]], threatens [[Jack Thaddeus]]. Unlike his reveal on [[Thorg]], Chris becomes two-faced as he accepts Jack's desire to be a transvestite and seek gender reassignment surgery, yet he attacks Jack because he chases after guys. Like the reveal on Thorg, Chris wants to see him trolled not so much out of a tit-for-tat desire for revenge, but rather because Chris found out he was [[homos]]exual. Interestingly, Chris gives Jack ten extra days to come up with his apology video and to leave the Internet.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w1SN9Jl-DTk}}
| stardate = 16 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Blue tomgirl|text}}, {{Redbra|text}}
| previous = [[Kaka Makeup Basics]]
| next = [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}
{{quote|Blackmailing me to hump your Playstation 3 causing great embarassment, to sing "It's okay to be gay", and he Posted disgusting advertisements on the [[CWCipedia]]}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:BI.jpg|thumb|The one time you wish he was wearing DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.]]
[''Chris sits down and sighs.''] Good day. I felt that it's appropriate to dress in my feminine attire as I- as you can see fits. [''He stretches out one leg, trying to show off his ass.''] Because I am definite calling out one Jack Thaddeusss, and we happen to share ''[He lifts his leg and rests it on his knee, giving the camera a buffalo shot.]'' some similar common interests, a few of which. Like, uh, yes, we can- we- we do accept the adj- we both accept the adjective of being called trannies, esscept for him, he's, uhh, he's just went through a whole- the whole gender-changing operation. Yep. Lopping off his [[Pickle|dick]] and puttin' on the ol'... an' gettin' it tucked in. I am not- I would never chop- I would never do that to- [[Homos#Fear of becoming a homo|I would never do that.]] Go and have a sex change operation. I'm proud to be a male, and I'm even more proud to be a [[tomgirl]].
[[File:Spanking2.jpg|thumb|"I like to get smacked by my woman."]]
And we both like to cross-dress, yes. And we both are into [[April 16 Fetish Vids|femdom]], which is a female domination. Oh, yeah. ''[creepy chuckle]'' I like to get smacked by [[Ivy|my woman]]. Mmm... yes.

Except for, uh, I would definitely s- put against, uh, Misher Jack, or, as is real name is said in de title of this video, which I will say in a moment. Uhh, in the pro- in the- in his- in his case of him, uh, having his operation and going through it, I feel that he would defi'itely '''not''' be considered any at all a woman- a woman whatsoever. He just only fashionably ''[raises his hands]'' looks like a woman, with the parts and whatnot, except he does not have- essept he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive[sic] organs. I mean, I want to have [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|children]] someday. Obviously, he don't. ''[Gives a disgusted look]''

And, uh, also my associate dat gave me the information on him, he- pretty much, uh, he pretty much is plain out callin' him a tomgirl, but you know what? He's not a tomgirl at all. He's just a full-blown [[Homos|gay]]. ''[Stares into space, then looks down at his clipboard]''

Anyway, gettin' back on topic, uh, his name is, uh, Ahu-viya, which, uh, it is spelled at the title of this video. Hmm, he is in Pennsylvania, and, uh, I have pretty much just gave a few descriptions of him, uh, yeah. He definitely appreciates his... homoseshual culture as it is. I mean, yeah. Everybody- everybody who hates- everybody who is a ho- who is a homophobe, ''[drops his leg down and sits upright]'' go ahead and call him on it. Call Ahuviya a God-dang homo.

[''moans with a derp voice, imitating Ahuviya''] Homo! I like to be a homo! [[Slow in the minds|He-he durr-hurr bluh bleh bleh!]] Eeeeoooouh! [''shakes his head with his tongue sticking out, then blows a raspberry'']

Yeah. But, of course, the, uh- my demands are simple, as they ha' been recently. I want Mr Ha- Ahuviya to make the public apologies for all the things he have done a- he has done against me. ''[Quieter voice.]'' Shoot, I forgot to write 'em down. But he knows what he did! Among which, uh, he has, uh, pestured me, and, uh, [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|on]] [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 2|the]] [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|phone]], and uh, [[Chris humps his PS3|blackmailed me into]] [[It's UGH!|doin' a few things]]. Yeah, I'll in from th- get those stats in and, uh, if he doesn't, uh, I might add them to the description of this video, after I wri- after I write 'em down.

Hmph. Anyway, 25-year-old Ahuviya, homooooo! Pretty much it. ''[Swings his leg back up to rest on his knee]'' We do agree on being cross-dressersss. Although, I must also admit, um, ''[to himself]''I should have access to that actually, uh, yeah. [''Grabs his [[PS3]] controller''] Just give me oooone moment. [''Boots up his PS3''] Yeah, I think this is it. Whoops. [''puts controller in both hands''] I think actually did... save it on here... Huhhh, zoom in, I only want a but of a free sample.

[''Grabs his camera shakily.''] For thisss, as usuaw... hmm, I gotta get a little clossse here, because I don't have zoom-in functions on the Cross-Video bar Photo Viewer...

[''Cue a bright yellow light''] Closer the picture. [''Shows a close-up of a man's chin.''] Yeah. Anyway, he just does a bad- [[Chris and hypocrisy|he just does a terrible job in cross- quote-unquote "cross-dressing," because I mean, look at that stubble on his face!]] [''Smacks his hand on the camera lens.'']

[''Uncovers to show his arm, then the camera pans over his messy room.''] And then look at me all over. I take the time to shave myself. [''Close-up of his bare thigh, then slaps it.''] Smooth. ''[slaps his ass]''

[''He jerks up the camera back to his face.''] So yeah. Ahuviya... make your apology video, leave the Internet, leave me and my family and my friends at peace. You have... uhh, lemme see... [''He checks his calender, counting under his breath.]'' ''One, two three...'' Yeah. You have until the tenth of [[September 2011|September of this year]] to upload your video of apology for all the wrongs you have done to me which I list in the description a li'l later. Good day.

== Re-Calling Ahuviya ==

On 23 August 2011, Chris made another video calling out Jack Thaddeus once more. As the time ticks down, Chris reveals more information about him, including the fact that he was a communist, which Chris hates (probably because of [[Bob]]). He further proves his ignorance by conflating communism and [[CWCville|Nazism]], even though the two are, economically speaking, polar opposites. Like his previous Jack Thaddeus video, it was removed for hate speech.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Re-Calling Ahuviya
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Ofdre0Ima1A}}
| stardate = 23 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Mix 107.3 Shirt
| previous = [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"]]
| next = [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Sigh|*Sigh*]] Hello again, thee Internet. I have heard d- have not seen any response from Mr. Jack Thaddeus, as also he's known as Ahuviya. So therefore, I will reveal a little bit more information about him, starting with another portion of the photograph. ''[Camera pans shakily to the TV screen. It takes a moment to come into focus, revealing the upper left portion of a face, and then jerks back to Chris.]''

And, uh- let's see, what else do I have here on de stanssss... ''[Chris seems to read from something in his hands offscreen]'' He was definitely responsible for hacking my- hacking da network accounts. Probably had a ''hand'' in that blackout a few months ago. ''[A brief pause while Chris looks at his notes again]'' And, uh, he blackmailed me into humping... my c-console. And, uh, pa- he pasted the disgusting ads on da Cwcipedia... as well ''[Slurring and hissing]'' asss otherss trollin' schemess within the past couple of years. Uh, let's see...

''[Looks down again]'' Hmm...

Oh yes! ''[Looks back at camera, raises voice in a faux dramatic fashion]'' He is a communist! And we do not like communists within dis country! ''[Waves his right hand about, pointing upwards while glancing to his left]'' [[United_States_of_America#Politics|We are Republican, Democrat or neutral]]... And I am neutral, so [[Homo|I can go either way]], but I do not exactly care much for ''[Raises voice and waves finger emphatically]'' COMMUNISM! [[CWCville|We do not like to stand under one ruler.]] It is very unruly and... sssssssstupid! ''[Pauses and stares]''

''[Chris begins to sing a half-assed rendition of "[[Donald Duck|Der Fuehrer's Face]]"<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MReV9dkAVhY]</ref> [[CWCville|I will give a heil!]] ''[raspberry]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' ''[In a sing-songy manner]'' Right in der Führer's face. Da da doo doo doo doo doo d'loo da doo doo doo da da ''[Chris and camera both bob enthusiastically with the tune]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' Right in der Führer's face. ''[With his song finished, Chris settles the camera]''

Oh, yes, he is also a big fan of, uh- bonding... bondage, ssssadoism, machotism and disciplinary fetishisesss. And he is in the process of a sssexual change. He is going to have his... ''[Pauses, looks uncomfortable]'' [[pickle|weiner]] chopped off. I would ne'er do that, which I believe I have mentioned earlier; that is the one thing in being a tranny that I disagree on with him... And he's definitely never gonna be a female truly in that sense, in female ''[loudly and deeply]'' dominance. He has to get a real woman to come in in order to do that. ''[Pauses again to look at his notes]''

He still lives in Pennsylvania. Still a [[homo]]. ''[With a dramatic voice like an announcer at a boxing match]'' Twennnty five years old! ''[Attempting to sing the name operatically]'' Ahuviyaaaaa.

Stay tuned.

== Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David ==

{{Protip|Please don't flag Chris's videos.}}

Chris, still high on victory, turns his attention to [[BlueSpike]], believing him to be the cause of the prank phone calls of people shouting out "JULAAAAAAAAAAY!" and calling him [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]. His reasoning for going after BlueSpike also seemed to be more towards his condition of [[Asperger's]] and the fact that he has no job, likes big rooms and is a gamer, despite the fact that BlueSpike would only be about 15-16 by now and unable to get a proper job, unlike a certain 29-year-old we know.

It, too, was removed from YouTube shortly after being posted due to "hate speech".
{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uEMFYldLCUM}}
| stardate = 23 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Mix 107.3 Shirt
| previous = [[Re-Calling Ahuviya]]
| next = [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]
}}
=== Transcript ===

[[File:Toht.jpg|thumb|Chris looked at the ark.]]

''[Chris puts his hand to his mouth and clears his throat.]'' [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JUUULAYYYYYY!]] JUUUULAAYY! IT'S [[Ian|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]! ''[He waves his hands while saying this]'' JUUULLLAY! Hello Ian! Why is your last name Brandon Anderson? JUUUUULLAYYY! *pfffffttt* ''[blows raspberry while flipping the bird]'' And that's who we are calling out next. The, uh, person who posed-pretended to be an adult woman but yet was a little, uh, little brat. Al... -he was also known as his alias Max, and BlueSpike, but his real name is... ''[hits pad of paper offscreen]'' David!

And he lives in... ''[hits pad again]'' California! Don't know that much about his age, but he's at least thirteen years old. And guess what... he is confirmed to have... ''[dramatic lean forward]'' [[Aspergers syndrome|assburgers]]! And I don't care much for Aspergians, and I do not care to be associated with, erm, an-... and I do not accept the ''[makes quote-marks hand gesture]'' scientific fact that [[autism]] is linked to assburgers at any time. I would quote myself as to what I said in the esstra part of [[Autism Tutorial Extra|my Little Big Planet 2 animation]], but I don't remember the words at this point.

''[picks up camera and turns around, with it facing the back of the room]''

Except that it definitely sounds like a bad cut of cow meat. And of course he was responsible for dat Julie fiasco and making me drive all the way to Cleveland, Ohioooo! And cutting up, one of the, cutting up the second medal, and ''[murmurs, sounding a bit like Popeye] [[Julie Reveals Herself|shoving it up my ass.]]'' And... he likes ''[dramatic gesture]'' big rooms! [[Chris and hypocrisy|And he has no job]]! And he is also a gamer. Here is a close up, featured from his photograph!

''[Chris turns the camera around to face the TV]''

''[high pitched]'' Look at his buck [[Fangs|teeth]]! ''normal again'' Or at least the gap between his teeth. That's a biiiig gap! Look at how big that gap is! Huh? Gap! Teeth! Buck teeth? Perhaps. But definitely a gap.

''[Chris turns the camera back towards himself while spinning around]''

And, Mr. David, you have until [[September 2011|September]] fifteenth to come up with the apology video, and leave me and my family and my friends at peace, oh, and also in your apology video tell everyone to stop making phonecalls to me that say ''[the Claw of Fail]'' JUUULLAAAAY! JUUULLLAAAYYY! And get rid... make sure that no-one ever calls me Ian Brandon Anderson ever again, because, ''[fast]'' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1c2OfAzDTI&ob=av3e thatisnotmyname]! ''[long pause]'' You have until September fifteenth. JUUUULLLLAAAY- ''[cuts out]''
==Response to ADF==
Chris replied to Ahuviya after latter uploaded [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_PqInE52o4 two] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE7bp7GKx_U videos] in response to Chris's calling out of him. He starts out by saying he is heterosexual and happy as such, but he also likes lesbians because he gets along with women better. Chris says he's ok with homosexuals getting married: "marriage should be between two happy people regardless of gender." He thinks smoking is stupid. He has empathy; Ahuviya does not because Chris would go out of state if he had to and he could get a job. He believes that he can't get a job because of background checks not only showing criminal records, but showing the CWCki, Youtube videos, and Facebook which has "slanderous smut and shit" about him on it too. His parents being old and his father being a "forced shut-in" because of his feet swelling also prevents him from being able to get a job. Chris doesn't stay in his house all the time, he gets out. Chris quotes Free Bird and incorrectly pronounces Lynyrd Skynyrd as "Lehnnard Sky nerd." (It is worth noting that the only song Chris knows by this band is the one one Guitar Hero). He's all for equality but he doesn't want to be forced into lifestyles he's not comfortable with or apart of. Chris wishes Ahuviya good luck with his sex change operation but warns him he will never be a part of femdom and ends the video with "damn homo", negating everything he's just said about being ok with homosexuals. This video was brought to the public via a third party known as "CWCvilleProductions".
{{Infobox/video
| name = Response to ADF
| video = {{#ev:youtube|28R_txwJefI}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2011]]
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Victory Rockout]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Sky_Nerd.jpg|thumb|If I whined like a virgin, would you please have sex with me?]]
This is my video response to... Ahuviya, who has apparently taken upon himself to, uh... record his response without wearing his face, optionally or leaving it out. So I'm just going to respond directly with my, uh- a few of my own thoughts. First off, I uh- now... I am heterosexual, I am straight, and that's just the way I am! It's not a have-to situation, I've never seen it ev- rarely seen it that way, I have at one point, but guess what, I've seen the other viewpoints, and they did not treat de ne- did not fair to me as s- so much, they gross me- they mostly gross me out. Therefore... that is what I am, and I am happy to stay that way, and I want to continue to be heterosexual. I am happy with myself there.

And I would admit that with other people, there are differences that I feel most uncomfortable about and around, such as... yes, gays... gay men anyway. ''[blows a raspberry]'' I like lesbians. Smokers, definitely the smokers. Can anybody tell me why smoking isn't stupid? I don't think so. And just most other males in gender- in general, because I get along better with women anyway. That's not really my fault, that's just part of my dang brain function with the missing links in my... brain and whatever. But that does not define me as an uncaring and cold-hearted person! I have empathy! I seek- I can see myself in other people's shoes and see how they would feel if I has- if I- with my responses into whatever situations.

And yet you may- while you may or may not have empathy as well, Ahuviya, I feel you to still be a typical non-understanding pig! I would go- I would travel outside of the state if where- or wherever if I could but, because A: I have- I'm on low funds, and I would get a job... but unfortunately, because of all the shit that's against me on the Internet... between the hate-filled webpages that y'all trolls and cyberbullies have created against me, and the past videos that I was blackmailed and deceived and just plain forced into creating, with such derogatory graphic smut and literal shit within them, it just makes it that much more difficult for me to be able to get a job. 'cuz they do the background checks, look up facebooks and look on Youtube and look everywhere! They don't just do criminal records anymore, ask anybody!

And I would travel if I could, but my parents are both old. My father is ill. He's sickly. He has feet-bloatings. And he has ailiments that doctors are unable to determine, and at this point he is certified as a forced shut-in! He cannot get out so much, 'cuz he feels so ill and sickly in his feet. And I ''do'' get out of my house, I go out here and there and everywhere, so don't tell me that I don't get out! I'm free as a bird and this bird... peep- and this bird you cannot change! Yes, I learned from Leonard Skynerd, and I like that song.

And listen- and I want you to listen here. I'm all for equality, but there is a limit! ''[Chris hits the camera]'' I do not want to be forced or intimidated into or bullied into lifestyles that I just ''not am of'', or feel comfortable around! And this was a country where... people would not feel forced to do anything... then, whatever! And yes, marriage should be between two happy people, regardless of, uh, gender or whatever. But I'm still gonna feel most uncomfortable around homosexual dudes, regardless! And just most other males in general, hell, I probably won't even have a bachelor party 'cuz I don't know so many males, I'd probably be having a bachelor party mostly constituted with those within my congregation who I'm only aquinted with, like, one or two of. Hell, I would even appreciate having a bachelor party where I had all my Gal-Pals come and hold it for me! I'd rather have a bachelor party with... where it was... shoot, I'm trying the think of the word, um... well anyway, with m- anyway, with mostly women, 'cuz I feel more comfortable ar- around women. Platonic, that's the word I would use, the party would be platonic.

And likewise, if my bride had mostly male friends, I'd let her hang out with them platonically as well for her bride party. And you know what, I don't care wether I get a bachelor party or not, around the time I do get married. Because that's just- that's just me. And I cannot be changed. So I would- so I would say, good luck being a fake woman because you'll never be able to achieve true femdom! And you'll always be a dang homosexual male 'cuz you're born that way, you gonna to stay that way pretty much even if you're gonna- if you're gonna have your dick either chopped off or tucked in! People are still gonna look at you so ill. In the majority of this country.

Anyway, that's my response for now. Damn homo.

==References==
<references/>

{{Troll Videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]|nextlink=[[It's not that cold]] / [[Correction of EX relationship status]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-06]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-09]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Calling Out

2011-08-29T22:27:27Z

Notslowpoke: There's a y

'''Calling Out''' refers to a series of [[videos]] [[Chris]] uploaded between 6-23 [[August 2011]], following an [[100 2357.MOV|8 month hiatus]] from [[YouTube]].

These videos showcase Chris's [[Tomgirl]] look, where he attempts to make himself look feminine. Chris is sporting new earrings in these videos, two on his right ear and one on his left. His [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] are also absent. [[Chris and cinematography|Chris's camerawork]] in this series is exceptionally shitty, opting to hold the camera with his hand instead of propping it up on a surface. This results in a very shaky, [[Barbara|Cloverfield]]-like viewing experience. The series focuses on Chris's efforts to expose his various trolls. Each confrontation consists of Chris decrying various traits of his trolls (Thorg's atheism, Jack Thaddeus's sexual interests, etc.) followed by demands for apologies and other blackmail. Oblivious as always, Chris makes the videos while failing to realize that the obese horrific "tomgirl" delivering the messages overshadows the message. Instead, Chris just exposes people's personal information and expects the Internet to do the work for him of tormenting his foes.

== Calling Out "Tito" - Don ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2461''', Chris announces his return to the [[Internet]]. He claims to have information regarding the true identity of various trolls, including [[Surfshack Tito]] (aka "Don"). After briefly showing viewers a fragment of a photograph of what he claims is the real Tito, Chris lists his demands to prevent the release of the full photo and, presumably, other revealing documents.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Tito" - Don
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gDuIfwZbN3c}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[100 2357.MOV]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Easily trolled by annnyooooneee.jpg|thumb|"... They could be easily trolled back by aaanyone." Intimidated?]]
[''Looks at camera with an emotionless face, and then jerks the camera to his right'']

Attention, citizens of the internet. I am making a return. [[Chris and Ego|Y'all should know me by now]], if in case if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] and the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric hedgehog Pokemon]]. Firstly, upon that note, I would like to inform everyone that it was originally meant to be a [[My Little Pony|TV-Y7 rated... friendship socializing, promoting type of series]]... it is not meant to be taken otherwise in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|any adulterous forms]].

[''Jerks camera around more'']

And with that, I will now continue with why I am making my return. I am ready to initiate [[Chris and negotiation|negotiations]] and paybacksss with the trolls, some cyberbullies that have been defiling me within the past five years... in the past four years. Firstly, I would like to make it well known that I have ''information'' of such trolls and cyberbullies if at that point if I release them, they could be easily trolled back by aaanyone. And, the first [[Chris and English|among chopping block]] I would like to ensue, [[Surfshack Tito|'''Surfshack Tito''']]... or should I day, Don in Michigan! And I'm not saying that he's a total [[Obesity|fat person]], but [[Random Access Humor|he would make the really big Buddha look like a supermodel in comparison]]. In fact, with his looks, he could be a [[Inos|Rasta]] Buddha! And I show you only a fragment of the [[speech impediment|pho-to-graph]]. [''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now, DON. Let's talk business. If you do not want me to review- reveal the entire pho-to-graph, or any of the remainder of your information of which I have upon my possession, [[Chris and negotiation|YOU WILL FOLLOW MY DEMANDS]]! And they are listed as such....

I want you to come forward with- come forward with your participation in, uh, [[PlayStation Network]] hackings... directly to [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment America and Sony Computer Entertainment Japan with a ''live video'', unaltered, ay, uh--slightly altered, you MAY blur your face. That is the only option that you get: Blurring your face. You will apologize to... Sony and [[Chris and english|mess up]] for hacking into the PlayStation Network at all, [[Chris and Reality|'cause I know you are responsible for that]].

And also, I would you to, in that- within that same video, or in a separate video, apologize directly to my [[Gal pal|ex-girlfriend]] Heather and her family. You may even call them up on the telephone that you are the one among which responsibole for pretending to be me... and stopping that relationship between us, 'cause I would like to have peace between my... past friends, because I don't like there to be bad things or [[Megan|ill tidings]] between people. ''(Pauses)'' And I know it was partially my fault, too, on that, by the way, within that relationship breakup.

But anyway, moving on with my demands, I would like- also like you to set to-send me via U.S. Mail, ''ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH''. American. Unmarked billssss, snail-mailed to my home address, in a long, small white... envelope, with YOUR home address clearly, legibly, hand writ-ten on the envelope in the return area. Next, I want you to remove ''ALL'' of the -cre-''ALL'' of the pages on the website known as the [[CWCki]] that have originally came from you that you have started. Also, as well as all contributions you have to any other pages as well. And lastly, from this point, after you have done these things, I would like you, ''Don'' of ''Michigan'', to leave me, my life, my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my [[SonichuBabies|friends]] ''alone''. To be, for the rest of our lives, in peace.

I leave that up to you [[Speech Impediment|Surussshack Tito]]. Expect another video in the near fu- in the near future of another troll that I am well aware of. Thank you.

== Tito's official response ==
In a clear attempt to meet Chris's demands, Tito produced a video in which he explains what lengths he is prepared to go to in order to prevent Chris from releasing his personal information. This video was acknowledged by Chris the following day.
==== Video ====
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tito's official response to Chris
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uZhlo94cMNk}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| maker = Surfshack Tito
| subject = Response to Chris's Demands
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}
}}
{{quote|This is official, true, and honest.}}

===== Transcript =====
Heh, hey, little cuz, uh, or, uh, [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]] if you prefer. It's me, uh, Tito, or Don, um. Listen man, I got some sand in the [[Navy|potato salad]] this time; you caught me, cuz. I- I admit it. I sold the security files of [[Sony|Sony]] to the hackers and I'll, uh I'll get you the money! I'll get you the thousand dollars, and the interest! Just don't- just don't release that video, eh with the picture of me, just don't do anymore, man! I'll, uh, I'll do anything, I'll be your [[Niggos|slave]] for a whole week if I have to. I got people after me, I can't have them finding out who I am, just, just be a cuz, man, and-and-and- and don't let me down. I won't let you down.

== Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, Chris calls out Thorg (aka "Jeremy", aka [[CWCki]] user [[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]]) and again sets out his demands to prevent the release of a full photograph and revealing documents. Despite his interest in [[Tomgirl|appearing and acting like a woman]], Chris demands that Thorg let the people of New York City know that he likes [[China]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6Fh0p9WXRDc}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
| next = [[#Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello, once again, the Internet! I have returned with another troll, cyberbull-y, that I am ware- aware of who he is in real life. I br- I called to your attention Master Thorg, T-H-O-R-G, or as he [is] known in real life, Jeremy, within Canada.

He is a pizza-faced [[Chris and Religion|atheist]]. You can find him possibly in a video game store. I leave the specifics disclosed at this time. And, here is a sample of ''his'' [[Speech Impediment|pho-to-graph]].

[''Chris points the camera to the television showing half the face of a man. He then returns the camera to him.'']

Now, Jeremy, let's you and I [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|talk business]] now. My demands are as follows:

Because I know and well awa- and I [am] well aware that you have Photoshopped me into that damned [[:File:Gaybar.png|gay bar]] and uploaded it- have it- you had it uploaded upon the [[20_December_2009#One_of_these_things_is_not_like_the_others|billboards]] in New York City within some time ago. I would like you to make a public apology with your face, you may blur your face out as well, but I would like the statement to follow it:

"That you are- that it is a correction that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am [[Homos|STRAIGHT]], and I have never ever been in a damned gay bar ''ever.''"

And I want that uploaded among the New York City billboards, and I want them left up there for one whole week, from one Sunday to the following Saturday. One, whole, week. Seven. days.

And that I- and also within the statements I would like you to know that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am an [[Chris and anger|all-around good-natured person]], and that I am to be treated and respected as a normal person. I am not a bad person; I do not like to be treated or thought of as a bad person, as I have been made out to be within the [[Trolls|trolls]], including yourself, Jeremy, within your [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|smearing]] and hate campaigns of my name.

My next demand: I would like you to remove all of your pages as well from the CWCki, including every last page and image that you have put up there talking about the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|Tomboy/Tomgirl forum of Virginia]]. Remove them all, as well as your contributions to any pages. And then beyond that after having completed all that, I would like you as well to leave me, my life, my family, and my friends, alone, and at peace, to live our lives respectively as well. I'll leave you all with that. Stay tuned for another revealed troll... or slightly revealed, as I am ON THE PAYBACK! [''laughs maniacally'']

I win.

== Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg" ==
In this short video, Chris sets a deadline for Don and Jeremy to meet his demands, lest [[jerkops|the authorities]] intervene: 31 August, 2011.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mP4wwvCSS7U}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Jerks around the camera and makes a wide-eyed, blank face'']

I almost forgot. Between Don and Jeremy, also known as Suresack- [[Surfshack Tito]] and Thorg, my demands, I would like them met before August 31st, 2011, the end of this month. And if my demands are not met before then, I'm gonna reveal your respective real life photographs as well as the rest of the personal information of you two in the- respectively, that I have within my possession. And then you two will b- each be trolled by your own trolls, and the [[Jerkops|police]] will catch up with you.

So, each of you. Meet my demands. Before August 31st... 2011.

[''Fumbles with the camera again, [[Chris and cinematography|almost dropping it]]'']

== Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher ==
Three days later, Chris posted a fourth video, calling out [[Alec Benson Leary]]. He's dropped the request for money and billboards, but now demands that Alec, Tito and Thorg [[Chris and hypocrisy|leave the Internet]]. He later delivers tirade concerning the [[GAMe PLACe]] and its owner, which culminates in accusing [[Michael Snyder]] of being a child molester. Chris's [[speech impediment|poor speaking skills]] are quite prevalent in this video, as he repeats the words "essentially" and "associated" numerous times. He also manages to repeat the ever-classic "My mommy- my family" line from one of his [[For My Sweetest Ivy|videos for Ivy]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WN72luEx708}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}, {{Redbra|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[It's not that cold]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
Hello, again, once again. I am here to make another [[trolls|troll]] [[speech impediment|esspos]]e as I have found anudder one amongst the bunch... the bunches! The one called [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Benson Learec- Leary]] is not who he appears to be, and certainly is NOT an original creator of [[Asperchu]]. In fact, he is not even [[Aspergers|AsPERGIAN]]! He does not have Aspergers, and he’s another [[Chris|fatty]] [[Barbara|fat]] [[Robert Chandler|fat]] [[Sammy|fat]] [[Hambeast|fat]]... [[Desi|fat]]. Aaand just le—and I do NOT have a script. I have notes.

[''Holds up a piece of lined paper and a piece of red construction paper'']

I have notes and I form my own script. Anyway, he also has ties with the, uh, [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby]] place of which he makes donaations, of wid- which I have another esspose about the Game Place. First, here is his closeup.

[''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now let’s talk... oh yeah, his real name is Christopher. So, [[Homos|Cha-ris]], let’s talk business now. What I would like from you… is essentially a live video apology for all the wrongs you have done to me over the [[Internet|innernet]] including the [[Chris and Copyright|copyright infringement on my Sonichu]] with your CHEAP, poor excuse for a 9-year-old... Asperchu, you immature [[JERKS|jerk]]! And then, I want you to leave the internet for good, and leave me and [[For My Sweetest Ivy|my mom—and my family]]... and friends at peace.

Also, on that note, I wish to make a correction to my demands with [[Surfshack Tito|Don]] and Jeremy. Essentially I have lear- Essentially I have learned from my esteemed colleague associates that [[Chris and the Law|apparently it is extortion]] to request [[Spanish|mucho dinero]], plus the billboard is no longer in effect. So therefore, I essentially still want Don to come forward with his video to Sony and to me publicly apologizing and everything, and the same goes to Jeremy. Public video apology, and both of y’all have to leave the internet for good, and leave me and my family and friends at peace.

Anyway, going back to, uh, Christopher… by the way, I know you’re in Texas. You’re in Texas, you [[Obesity|fatty fat fat]]! He has been donating to the troll cause and such over at The PLACE! The [[The GAMe PLACe|game and hobby place]] of which we are fully aware of and have grown to love and such, but there is more to THE PLACE, and its three associated stores located only within [[Virginia]], and I know from cold hard facts... including facts from a Hook article back in August of [[2002|2002]], that... the four stores, their owner, a one Mr. Robert Lightburn... is... a [[Pedofork|child molester]], and convicted sex offender in Illinois.

And think about this! The place in [[Charlottesville]] is located right across from a school, and it is owned by a child molester! Parents! Children! Associated families! I don’t think you would want anyone who is a minor, or [[Chris and Reality|even under the age of ten]] to go into such a place that is owned by a child molester, and I am sure that in association, even though he is married, [[Michael Snyder]] has his own child molestation skeleton [[Homos|in his closet]]! He probably even molested his own daughter for all I know! I do not have concrete facts, so therefore that is just theory until I am corrected. But the point is the place is owned by a child molester, and nobody should ever, ever go into that place again… and it should be closed down for good! And that’s all I have for this video right now. Stay tuned for another [[slow-in-the-minds|Trroll ess-especial twirl esspose]].

== Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2466''', Chris accepts [[Surfshack_Tito_(troll)#Tito.27s_official_response_to_Chris|Tito's attempt to meet his demands]], while Thorg appears to have made no such efforts yet. Chris is still awaiting the money he demanded (apparently forgetting that in the last video he admitted that blackmail was a felony), and another part of Jeremy's face and part of another photo Chris has obtained of him are shown to viewers.

This video also shows us that Chris now has two piercings on each ear. It was previously believed he had two on his right ear and only one on his left.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9Nn4u9b_hJk}}
| stardate = 10 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}, {{Redbra|text}}
| previous = [[It's not that cold]]
| next = [[Correction of EX relationship status]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Miss duh dadline.jpg|thumb|but miss the deadline...]]
[[File:CheckYourPriv.jpg|thumb|Y'all best remember to check your privileges, ya hear?]]
Well, it seems I have gotten a well-wise response to my recent videos...from [[Surfshack Tito|master Don]], of which I will now respond to as [[speech impediment|sutss]]. You d-you made a wise descision, Don. I am-as long as I get the money before the end of the month, I will withhold the photographs and the other information. I can promise you that, but miss the deadline... ''[widens his eyes and stares into the camera]'' and you certainly don't have to be my slave for a week. I mean, aside from the [[Niggos|slave laws]] and everything. ''[shakes head and sighs]''

Anyway, apparently I have learned from my esteemed colleague that Thorg, master Jeremy, is still not convinced I mean businesss. Well, just to show you, Jeremy, that I mean businesss, I'm going to reveal a little bit more about you.

Here is a closeup-another closeup of that pho-to-graph zoomed in on your pizza face! ''[looks off-camera at the picture and zooms in on a different part]'' Excuse me a moment. ''[whispers]'' alright, ''[mumbles, as air conditioner gets louder]'' as well as a zoom-in on a possibly more current, or possibly previous pho-to-graph of yourself. Aaand, I'm gonna reveal a couple of random tidbits about you from my notes!

Once again, Jeremy lives in Can-a-da...and he likes the typical geeky things, without being stereotypical, of course, and not offending anyone of the sort, because I am considerably one myself, because I like [[Pokemon]], [[Yu-Gi-Oh|Yu-Gi-Oh!]], and all- and [[My Little Pony|that sort]]. Apparently, uh, he is a LARPer. Live action role playing! As it was portrayed in that episode of [[Wikipedia:The Tester|The Tester]]!

''[begins to speak in a high-pitched, singsongy voice]''

"Oh, look at me, I'm [[Chris and English|trollicking]] about! We are going to be warriors and whatnot! Yay, we won the things! [[Chris and Reality|And then we're future cops, sent being- mall-for future mall cops]]! Mall cops of the future! La, la la, la la, la la! We're LARPing about! LARP LARP LARP LARP! LARP. LAAAARP. LARP! Lorp."

And we know that the atheist does not like [[Chris and Hypocrisy#"I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance|having his mind changed]] about [[GodJesus|God]]. I mean, I gotta tell you, man, God is all-powerful. How do you think the [[speech impediment|Earss]] was created aside from the big bang? Who had to put the big bang together? God! And I know from my bible ''[shows bible]'', my hand on it, that between him and [[GodJesus|Jesus]], they're pretty powerful! They're pretty powerful individuals... and I believe in them. They have- I mean, Jesus has done a lot with his miracles before he had to [[Obesity|weigh]] the cross, which I just [[Chris and his Ego|empathize]] with him on that,i mean.

''[closes eyes and inhales through teeth]'' it's like I can feel the thorns that were drug-that were drudge, plowed through his hands and his feet! [[Fail|Thorn of crowns]]. Mm. Empathy is a powerful thing.

But...I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have God or Jesus at my-by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists...are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer...I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!

You have until August 31st to reply and follow my demands of admitting...your wrongdoings, and making the public apologies via [[YouTube]] video, as I am a-well aware, as I have made note, but apparently the billboard is no longer an option. Anyway, between the YouTube public apology, and leaving the internet alone, AND leaving me, my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my friends at peace, that is what I demand of you, master Jeremy. ''[air conditioner gets louder]''

Your move. 'Cause if you're not, fulfill- if you don't don't respond by the 31st, [''[[death threats|snaps fingers and widens his eyes]]''] I mean business. Check your privileges!

== Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya ==

Chris, [[Homo|lipstick and all]], threatens [[Jack Thaddeus]]. Unlike his reveal on [[Thorg]], Chris becomes two-faced as he accepts Jack's desire to be a transvestite and seek gender reassignment surgery, yet he attacks Jack because he chases after guys. Like the reveal on Thorg, Chris wants to see him trolled not so much out of a tit-for-tat desire for revenge, but rather because Chris found out he was [[homos]]exual. Interestingly, Chris gives Jack ten extra days to come up with his apology video and to leave the Internet.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w1SN9Jl-DTk}}
| stardate = 16 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Blue tomgirl|text}}, {{Redbra|text}}
| previous = [[Kaka Makeup Basics]]
| next = [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}
{{quote|Blackmailing me to hump your Playstation 3 causing great embarassment, to sing "It's okay to be gay", and he Posted disgusting advertisements on the [[CWCipedia]]}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:BI.jpg|thumb|The one time you wish he was wearing DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.]]
[''Chris sits down and sighs.''] Good day. I felt that it's appropriate to dress in my feminine attire as I- as you can see fits. [''He stretches out one leg, trying to show off his ass.''] Because I am definite calling out one Jack Thaddeusss, and we happen to share ''[He lifts his leg and rests it on his knee, giving the camera a buffalo shot.]'' some similar common interests, a few of which. Like, uh, yes, we can- we- we do accept the adj- we both accept the adjective of being called trannies, esscept for him, he's, uhh, he's just went through a whole- the whole gender-changing operation. Yep. Lopping off his [[Pickle|dick]] and puttin' on the ol'... an' gettin' it tucked in. I am not- I would never chop- I would never do that to- [[Homos#Fear of becoming a homo|I would never do that.]] Go and have a sex change operation. I'm proud to be a male, and I'm even more proud to be a [[tomgirl]].
[[File:Spanking2.jpg|thumb|"I like to get smacked by my woman."]]
And we both like to cross-dress, yes. And we both are into [[April 16 Fetish Vids|femdom]], which is a female domination. Oh, yeah. ''[creepy chuckle]'' I like to get smacked by [[Ivy|my woman]]. Mmm... yes.

Except for, uh, I would definitely s- put against, uh, Misher Jack, or, as is real name is said in de title of this video, which I will say in a moment. Uhh, in the pro- in the- in his- in his case of him, uh, having his operation and going through it, I feel that he would defi'itely '''not''' be considered any at all a woman- a woman whatsoever. He just only fashionably ''[raises his hands]'' looks like a woman, with the parts and whatnot, except he does not have- essept he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive[sic] organs. I mean, I want to have [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|children]] someday. Obviously, he don't. ''[Gives a disgusted look]''

And, uh, also my associate dat gave me the information on him, he- pretty much, uh, he pretty much is plain out callin' him a tomgirl, but you know what? He's not a tomgirl at all. He's just a full-blown [[Homos|gay]]. ''[Stares into space, then looks down at his clipboard]''

Anyway, gettin' back on topic, uh, his name is, uh, Ahu-viya, which, uh, it is spelled at the title of this video. Hmm, he is in Pennsylvania, and, uh, I have pretty much just gave a few descriptions of him, uh, yeah. He definitely appreciates his... homoseshual culture as it is. I mean, yeah. Everybody- everybody who hates- everybody who is a ho- who is a homophobe, ''[drops his leg down and sits upright]'' go ahead and call him on it. Call Ahuviya a God-dang homo.

[''moans with a derp voice, imitating Ahuviya''] Homo! I like to be a homo! [[Slow in the minds|He-he durr-hurr bluh bleh bleh!]] Eeeeoooouh! [''shakes his head with his tongue sticking out, then blows a raspberry'']

Yeah. But, of course, the, uh- my demands are simple, as they ha' been recently. I want Mr Ha- Ahuviya to make the public apologies for all the things he have done a- he has done against me. ''[Quieter voice.]'' Shoot, I forgot to write 'em down. But he knows what he did! Among which, uh, he has, uh, pestured me, and, uh, [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|on]] [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 2|the]] [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|phone]], and uh, [[Chris humps his PS3|blackmailed me into]] [[It's UGH!|doin' a few things]]. Yeah, I'll in from th- get those stats in and, uh, if he doesn't, uh, I might add them to the description of this video, after I wri- after I write 'em down.

Hmph. Anyway, 25-year-old Ahuviya, homooooo! Pretty much it. ''[Swings his leg back up to rest on his knee]'' We do agree on being cross-dressersss. Although, I must also admit, um, ''[to himself]''I should have access to that actually, uh, yeah. [''Grabs his [[PS3]] controller''] Just give me oooone moment. [''Boots up his PS3''] Yeah, I think this is it. Whoops. [''puts controller in both hands''] I think actually did... save it on here... Huhhh, zoom in, I only want a but of a free sample.

[''Grabs his camera shakily.''] For thisss, as usuaw... hmm, I gotta get a little clossse here, because I don't have zoom-in functions on the Cross-Video bar Photo Viewer...

[''Cue a bright yellow light''] Closer the picture. [''Shows a close-up of a man's chin.''] Yeah. Anyway, he just does a bad- [[Chris and hypocrisy|he just does a terrible job in cross- quote-unquote "cross-dressing," because I mean, look at that stubble on his face!]] [''Smacks his hand on the camera lens.'']

[''Uncovers to show his arm, then the camera pans over his messy room.''] And then look at me all over. I take the time to shave myself. [''Close-up of his bare thigh, then slaps it.''] Smooth. ''[slaps his ass]''

[''He jerks up the camera back to his face.''] So yeah. Ahuviya... make your apology video, leave the Internet, leave me and my family and my friends at peace. You have... uhh, lemme see... [''He checks his calender, counting under his breath.]'' ''One, two three...'' Yeah. You have until the tenth of [[September 2011|September of this year]] to upload your video of apology for all the wrongs you have done to me which I list in the description a li'l later. Good day.

== Re-Calling Ahuviya ==

On 23 August 2011, Chris made another video calling out Jack Thaddeus once more. As the time ticks down, Chris reveals more information about him, including the fact that he was a communist, which Chris hates (probably because of [[Bob]]). He further proves his ignorance by conflating communism and [[CWCville|Nazism]], even though the two are, economically speaking, polar opposites. Like his previous Jack Thaddeus video, it was removed for hate speech.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Re-Calling Ahuviya
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Ofdre0Ima1A}}
| stardate = 23 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Mix 107.3 Shirt
| previous = [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"]]
| next = [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Sigh|*Sigh*]] Hello again, thee Internet. I have heard d- have not seen any response from Mr. Jack Thaddeus, as also he's known as Ahuviya. So therefore, I will reveal a little bit more information about him, starting with another portion of the photograph. ''[Camera pans shakily to the TV screen. It takes a moment to come into focus, revealing the upper left portion of a face, and then jerks back to Chris.]''

And, uh- let's see, what else do I have here on de stanssss... ''[Chris seems to read from something in his hands offscreen]'' He was definitely responsible for hacking my- hacking da network accounts. Probably had a ''hand'' in that blackout a few months ago. ''[A brief pause while Chris looks at his notes again]'' And, uh, he blackmailed me into humping... my c-console. And, uh, pa- he pasted the disgusting ads on da Cwcipedia... as well ''[Slurring and hissing]'' asss otherss trollin' schemess within the past couple of years. Uh, let's see...

''[Looks down again]'' Hmm...

Oh yes! ''[Looks back at camera, raises voice in a faux dramatic fashion]'' He is a communist! And we do not like communists within dis country! ''[Waves his right hand about, pointing upwards while glancing to his left]'' [[United_States_of_America#Politics|We are Republican, Democrat or neutral]]... And I am neutral, so [[Homo|I can go either way]], but I do not exactly care much for ''[Raises voice and waves finger emphatically]'' COMMUNISM! [[CWCville|We do not like to stand under one ruler.]] It is very unruly and... sssssssstupid! ''[Pauses and stares]''

''[Chris begins to sing a half-assed rendition of "[[Donald Duck|Der Fuehrer's Face]]"<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MReV9dkAVhY]</ref> [[CWCville|I will give a heil!]] ''[raspberry]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' ''[In a sing-songy manner]'' Right in der Führer's face. Da da doo doo doo doo doo d'loo da doo doo doo da da ''[Chris and camera both bob enthusiastically with the tune]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' Right in der Führer's face. ''[With his song finished, Chris settles the camera]''

Oh, yes, he is also a big fan of, uh- bonding... bondage, ssssadoism, machotism and disciplinary fetishisesss. And he is in the process of a sssexual change. He is going to have his... ''[Pauses, looks uncomfortable]'' [[pickle|weiner]] chopped off. I would ne'er do that, which I believe I have mentioned earlier; that is the one thing in being a tranny that I disagree on with him... And he's definitely never gonna be a female truly in that sense, in female ''[loudly and deeply]'' dominance. He has to get a real woman to come in in order to do that. ''[Pauses again to look at his notes]''

He still lives in Pennsylvania. Still a [[homo]]. ''[With a dramatic voice like an announcer at a boxing match]'' Twennnty five years old! ''[Attempting to sing the name operatically]'' Ahuviyaaaaa.

Stay tuned.

== Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David ==

{{Protip|Please don't flag Chris's videos.}}

Chris, still high on victory, turns his attention to [[BlueSpike]], believing him to be the cause of the prank phone calls of people shouting out "JULAAAAAAAAAAY!" and calling him [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]. His reasoning for going after BlueSpike also seemed to be more towards his condition of [[Asperger's]] and the fact that he has no job, likes big rooms and is a gamer, despite the fact that BlueSpike would only be about 15-16 by now and unable to get a proper job, unlike a certain 29-year-old we know.

It, too, was removed from YouTube shortly after being posted due to "hate speech".
{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uEMFYldLCUM}}
| stardate = 23 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Mix 107.3 Shirt
| previous = [[Re-Calling Ahuviya]]
| next = [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]
}}
=== Transcript ===

[[File:Toht.jpg|thumb|Chris looked at the ark.]]

''[Chris puts his hand to his mouth and clears his throat.]'' [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JUUULAYYYYYY!]] JUUUULAAYY! IT'S [[Ian|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]! ''[He waves his hands while saying this]'' JUUULLLAY! Hello Ian! Why is your last name Brandon Anderson? JUUUUULLAYYY! *pfffffttt* ''[blows raspberry while flipping the bird]'' And that's who we are calling out next. The, uh, person who posed-pretended to be an adult woman but yet was a little, uh, little brat. Al... -he was also known as his alias Max, and BlueSpike, but his real name is... ''[hits pad of paper offscreen]'' David!

And he lives in... ''[hits pad again]'' California! Don't know that much about his age, but he's at least thirteen years old. And guess what... he is confirmed to have... ''[dramatic lean forward]'' [[Aspergers syndrome|assburgers]]! And I don't care much for Aspergians, and I do not care to be associated with, erm, an-... and I do not accept the ''[makes quote-marks hand gesture]'' scientific fact that [[autism]] is linked to assburgers at any time. I would quote myself as to what I said in the esstra part of [[Autism Tutorial Extra|my Little Big Planet 2 animation]], but I don't remember the words at this point.

''[picks up camera and turns around, with it facing the back of the room]''

Except that it definitely sounds like a bad cut of cow meat. And of course he was responsible for dat Julie fiasco and making me drive all the way to Cleveland, Ohioooo! And cutting up, one of the, cutting up the second medal, and ''[murmurs, sounding a bit like Popeye] [[Julie Reveals Herself|shoving it up my ass.]]'' And... he likes ''[dramatic gesture]'' big rooms! [[Chris and hypocrisy|And he has no job]]! And he is also a gamer. Here is a close up, featured from his photograph!

''[Chris turns the camera around to face the TV]''

''[high pitched]'' Look at his buck [[Fangs|teeth]]! ''normal again'' Or at least the gap between his teeth. That's a biiiig gap! Look at how big that gap is! Huh? Gap! Teeth! Buck teeth? Perhaps. But definitely a gap.

''[Chris turns the camera back towards himself while spinning around]''

And, Mr. David, you have until [[September 2011|September]] fifteenth to come up with the apology video, and leave me and my family and my friends at peace, oh, and also in your apology video tell everyone to stop making phonecalls to me that say ''[the Claw of Fail]'' JUUULLAAAAY! JUUULLLAAAYYY! And get rid... make sure that no-one ever calls me Ian Brandon Anderson ever again, because, ''[fast]'' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1c2OfAzDTI&ob=av3e thatisnotmyname]! ''[long pause]'' You have until September fifteenth. JUUUULLLLAAAY- ''[cuts out]''
==Response to ADF==
Chris replied to Ahuviya after latter uploaded [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_PqInE52o4 two] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE7bp7GKx_U videos] in response to Chris's calling out of him. He starts out by saying he is heterosexual and happy as such, but he also likes lesbians because he gets along with women better. Chris says he's ok with homosexuals getting married: "marriage should be between two happy people regardless of gender." He thinks smoking is stupid. He has empathy; Ahuviya does not because Chris would go out of state if he had to and he could get a job. He believes that he can't get a job because of background checks not only showing criminal records, but showing the CWCki, Youtube videos, and Facebook which has "slanderous smut and shit" about him on it too. His parents being old and his father being a "forced shut-in" because of his feet swelling also prevents him from being able to get a job. Chris doesn't stay in his house all the time, he gets out. Chris quotes Free Bird and incorrectly pronounces Lynyrd Skynyrd as "Lehnnard Sky nerd." (It is worth noting that the only song Chris knows by this band is the one one Guitar Hero). He's all for equality but he doesn't want to be forced into lifestyles he's not comfortable with or apart of. Chris wishes Ahuviya good luck with his sex change operation but warns him he will never be a part of femdom and ends the video with "damn homo", negating everything he's just said about being ok with homosexuals. This video was brought to the pubic via a third party known as "CWCvilleProductions".
{{Infobox/video
| name = Response to ADF
| video = {{#ev:youtube|28R_txwJefI}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2011]]
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Victory Rockout]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Sky_Nerd.jpg|thumb|If I whined like a virgin, would you please have sex with me?]]
This is my video response to... Ahuviya, who has apparently taken upon himself to, uh... record his response without wearing his face, optionally or leaving it out. So I'm just going to respond directly with my, uh- a few of my own thoughts. First off, I uh- now... I am heterosexual, I am straight, and that's just the way I am! It's not a have-to situation, I've never seen it ev- rarely seen it that way, I have at one point, but guess what, I've seen the other viewpoints, and they did not treat de ne- did not fair to me as s- so much, they gross me- they mostly gross me out. Therefore... that is what I am, and I am happy to stay that way, and I want to continue to be heterosexual. I am happy with myself there.

And I would admit that with other people, there are differences that I feel most uncomfortable about and around, such as... yes, gays... gay men anyway. ''[blows a raspberry]'' I like lesbians. Smokers, definitely the smokers. Can anybody tell me why smoking isn't stupid? I don't think so. And just most other males in gender- in general, because I get along better with women anyway. That's not really my fault, that's just part of my dang brain function with the missing links in my... brain and whatever. But that does not define me as an uncaring and cold-hearted person! I have empathy! I seek- I can see myself in other people's shoes and see how they would feel if I has- if I- with my responses into whatever situations.

And yet you may- while you may or may not have empathy as well, Ahuviya, I feel you to still be a typical non-understanding pig! I would go- I would travel outside of the state if where- or wherever if I could but, because A: I have- I'm on low funds, and I would get a job... but unfortunately, because of all the shit that's against me on the Internet... between the hate-filled webpages that y'all trolls and cyberbullies have created against me, and the past videos that I was blackmailed and deceived and just plain forced into creating, with such derogatory graphic smut and literal shit within them, it just makes it that much more difficult for me to be able to get a job. 'cuz they do the background checks, look up facebooks and look on Youtube and look everywhere! They don't just do criminal records anymore, ask anybody!

And I would travel if I could, but my parents are both old. My father is ill. He's sickly. He has feet-bloatings. And he has ailiments that doctors are unable to determine, and at this point he is certified as a forced shut-in! He cannot get out so much, 'cuz he feels so ill and sickly in his feet. And I ''do'' get out of my house, I go out here and there and everywhere, so don't tell me that I don't get out! I'm free as a bird and this bird... peep- and this bird you cannot change! Yes, I learned from Leonard Skynerd, and I like that song.

And listen- and I want you to listen here. I'm all for equality, but there is a limit! ''[Chris hits the camera]'' I do not want to be forced or intimidated into or bullied into lifestyles that I just ''not am of'', or feel comfortable around! And this was a country where... people would not feel forced to do anything... then, whatever! And yes, marriage should be between two happy people, regardless of, uh, gender or whatever. But I'm still gonna feel most uncomfortable around homosexual dudes, regardless! And just most other males in general, hell, I probably won't even have a bachelor party 'cuz I don't know so many males, I'd probably be having a bachelor party mostly constituted with those within my congregation who I'm only aquinted with, like, one or two of. Hell, I would even appreciate having a bachelor party where I had all my Gal-Pals come and hold it for me! I'd rather have a bachelor party with... where it was... shoot, I'm trying the think of the word, um... well anyway, with m- anyway, with mostly women, 'cuz I feel more comfortable ar- around women. Platonic, that's the word I would use, the party would be platonic.

And likewise, if my bride had mostly male friends, I'd let her hang out with them platonically as well for her bride party. And you know what, I don't care wether I get a bachelor party or not, around the time I do get married. Because that's just- that's just me. And I cannot be changed. So I would- so I would say, good luck being a fake woman because you'll never be able to achieve true femdom! And you'll always be a dang homosexual male 'cuz you're born that way, you gonna to stay that way pretty much even if you're gonna- if you're gonna have your dick either chopped off or tucked in! People are still gonna look at you so ill. In the majority of this country.

Anyway, that's my response for now. Damn homo.

==References==
<references/>

{{Troll Videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]|nextlink=[[It's not that cold]] / [[Correction of EX relationship status]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-06]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-09]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Sonichu Home Club

2011-08-28T04:36:28Z

Notslowpoke:

[[Sonichu Home Club]] was an online Sonichu event hosted by [[Chris]] on 2 [[January 2009]] on the [[PS3]] online network.

Intended to be a reccurring event where Chris would be showered with praise and adoration by his (female) [[True and Loyal fanbase|fans]] (since male Sonichu fans are [[JERKS]] who steal all the pretty girls and leave Chris with none). However, since Chris is lazy and got occupied with other ventures (such as his dealings with [[Shigeru Miyamoto]]), he forgot all about this.

==Part 1==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|r28CrLyoRHQ}}</center>

{{quote|[The SonichuGirls forum] makes me feel omnipotent!}}

===Transcript===

[''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'s VR mission intro theme plays'']

Okay. Sorry about that. Turnin’ the page, uh…

Well, anyway… [[Jamsta]] continues, sayin’:

<blockquote>“WE HAVE A LOT OF GREAT EVENTS AND GIVEAWAYS GOIN’ ON HERE TODAY! THANK CHRISTIAN THAT [[CWCville|CWCVILLE]] IS ''CLEAN'' CITY. NOBODY HAS TO GO HOME DRUNK OR SMOKY. WE’VE GOT COOLERS AND KEGS FULL OF OUR FAVORITE… [[CWC Cola|''CWC''-COLA]], ''DIET'' CWC-COLA, LEMONADE, AND GRAPE AND ORANGE SODA, COMPLIMENTS OF OUR LOCAL S-- ''CWC''-COLA BOTTLING COMPANY. 
YOU CAN ENTER TO WIN AN HD TV FROM CRUTCHFIELD, OR DRIVE HOME IN OUR NEW, OH-EIGHT CHEVY CAMARO CONCEPT. ALSO TONIGHT, OUR RISING STAR, ''[[Jiggliami|JIGGLIAMI]]'', WILL BE SINGIN’ HER DEBUT SINGLE, "WAR OF LOVE", TONIGHT ON THE CONCERT STAGE HERE AT CWCVILLE BEACH. SO, STAY TUNED TO CWCVILLE’S #1 RADIO STATION FOR ALL THIS AND A LOT MORE.” 
[Note: In this reading from [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]], Chris changes a few details and even omits entire sentences.]</blockquote>

And then, [[Lolisa]]… s-- replies, saying:

<blockquote>[''uses his Lolisa voice''] 
“''AWESOME'', JAMSTA! WELL, I’M THINKIN’ OF TAKIN’ A SWIM IN OUR CLEAN BEACH’S OCEAN, AS WE HEAR FROM RICKY MARTIN’S PARTY WITH "LA VIDA LOCA". [''sings''] LAAA--!” 
[Note: Chris’s reading of Lolisa’s lines is just as loose as his reading of Jamsta’s.]</blockquote>

[''the connection is apparently dropped for a moment'']

Excuse me, there. So-- and [[Megagi]]’s saying:
<blockquote>[''uses his Megagi voice, which soon reverts to his normal voice''] 
“HEY, GAL-PALS! WE’RE JUST ENJOYING THE FESTIVITIES! OH – THE OTHER DAY – I SAW THIS CAT GAL FLIRTING WITH BIONIC? I PRESENTED MY "CLAWS" OF OWNERSHIP!”</blockquote>

Oh – and right before, she said that, uh… [[Rosechu]] said:

<blockquote>“THAT MEGAGI AND [[Bionic|BIONIC]]… WHAT’S HAPPENIN’?” 
[Note: Where Chris is reading this line from is a complete mystery.]</blockquote>

And so, eventually, more time passes, and, uh, well… they’re just reclining. [?] [[Magi-Chan]]… telepathically says to [[Bubbles]]:

<blockquote>“I’VE JUST DETECTED A [[Sonichu Ball|SONICHU BALL]] CRYSTAL IN THE ''OCEAN''.”</blockquote>

Then, oc-- then, Bubbles replies… in thought:

<blockquote>“I’LL FETCH IT IN A MINUTE.”</blockquote>

Then, uh… look who comes in, but old… Black Sonichu, [[Blake]]. He’s just walkin’ in front of our-- front of our… girls. And he just kicks sand in their faces, and they’re like:

<blockquote>[''uses a girly voice''] 
'''“HEY!”'''</blockquote>

<blockquote>[''uses his Rosechu voice''] 
“BLACK SONICHU, WHAT’D YOU DO THAT FOR?!”</blockquote>

Rosechu cla-- exclaims. And he says:

<blockquote>[''uses his Blake voice''] 
“DON’T BLAME ME! THE SAND WAS IN THE PA--”</blockquote>

[''the connection is apparently dropped for a time'']

Alright. Sorry about that, uh…

Yeah. Well, ''he'' left. Anyway, as I was saying, uh…

Anyway, while Blake is-- while Black Sonichu is achin’ in pain… Bubbles just whis-- whispers smoothly… to him. She’s saying:

<blockquote>“YOU’RE DOING GREAT.”</blockquote>

And while ''straining'', he says:

<blockquote>[''uses a pained version of his Blake voice''] 
[''groans''] “GOOD!”</blockquote>

And then-- so, the… a-- in a-- in a ''acting'' moment of, uh, rage, Bubbles says:

<blockquote>[''uses his Bubbles voice''] 
“ALRIGHT, BIG MAN: I’M GONNA SHOW YA THE POWER OF A WOMAN! IT’S NOT AS GENTLE AS YOU THINK IT IS!”</blockquote>

And they walk off, and, uh, R-Rosechu reali-- and then, Rosechu… kn-''knows'', so, she, like, she just… gives ’em-- gives ’em, uh, a little ''glare'' in their direction. A ''knowing'' glare. She says-- she tells ’em-- she's like, uh…

<blockquote>[''uses his Rosechu voice again''] 
“SHE THINKS SHE CAN FOOL US… BUT IT’S SO ''OBVIOUS'' SHE AND BLAKE ARE TRUE LOVERS.”</blockquote>

And Angelica says:

<blockquote>[''uses his Angelica voice, which quickly reverts to his normal voice''] 
“IT’S ''SO'' CUTE!”</blockquote>

So, anyway, uh… then, we’ve been [unintelligible for several seconds].

Hmm. Y’know, I wonder… lemme just move away from the table.

Can see all y’all. [''chuckles''] Maybe my… avatar won’t look so ''distracted'' now!

Well, anyway, uh, continuing-- continuing on, though: Jiggli-- just to finish this up, though: Jiggliami… said:

<blockquote>[''uses his Jiggliami voice''] 
“THANK YOU, CITIZENS OF CWCVILLE, VIRGINIA! MY DEBUT SONG WAS INSPIRED BY MY PIKACHU BOYFRIEND, WHO SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED FROM MY HOME FIELD. I HAVE MISSED HIM FOR ''YEARS''… FOR HIS SAFE RETURN. I PRESENT Y’ALL… "WAR OF LOVE".” 
[Note: Chris’s reading of Jiggliami’s lines is at least as loose as his reading of Lolisa’s earlier.]</blockquote>

So, then, zi-- [?] so then, I had-- so, then, I added the song lyrics for the, uh, song that was submitted to me from the original creator of Jiggliami.

But just to skip that for the moment, uh… go back to the point that’s-- the point here:

<blockquote>“AFTER THE CONCERT, UH… [[Blanca|BLANCA]] FOUND HER BOYFRIEND AND LEFT FOR THEIR HOME STATE OF TENNESSEE. AND JIGGLIAMI STAYED IN CWCVILLE TO RECORD HER ALBUMS, IN ACCORDANCE WITH, UH, JIVE RECORDS, THROUGH CWCVILLE STUDIOS. BUT, UH, CURRENTLY IN A ''TIME VOID''… OR, UH, RATHER, IN MY HEART AND ''HEAD''… A CONSEQUENTIAL, CONFLICTING DECISION ''HAS'' BEEN MADE.” 
[Note: Chris changes a few details even while reading this narrative caption.]</blockquote>

End of meeting for this time? [?]

Mmm. Okay. So, I’m assuming that nobody-- oh! Yes?

[Troll question: “Do you have any more Sonichu-themed levels for [[LittleBigPlanet]] planned?]

Oh, yeah! I might-- I’m ''contemplating'' about that: the, uh, LittleBigPlanet level. I even-- uh, test-- I even… did a little testing for, uh… the, uh, how to make it a ''speedy'' level. Well, y’know, basically with ''glass floors'' and, uh, hopefully, a ''loop-de-loop''? That’s why I-- that’s pretty much the reason why I… created the te-- the ''speed test'' level… with a little bit of, uh… Metal Gear Solid content. Y’know, just basically add a little action to it. And I also tried my hand at a… electrified ''maze'' and a… rocketpack! So, the speed test level was pretty much practice for, uh, when I decide to, uh… do the-- do a-- do ''another'' Sonichu level in LittleBigPlanet.

[''clears throat''] Are there any ''more'' questions?

As I can see from the-- I can see that some person’s typing up a ''new'' mess--

[Troll question: “Are you working on any other Sonichu-related projects besides the comic at the moment or do you have any planned for the near future?”]

Oh, yes! Uh… that’s-- which-- which brings up ''another'' topic of interest… that-- y’all can applaud for this! (Where-- where is the alien? [?] There it is.) Okay. But anyway, uh, [[Animal Crossing]]: City Folk? It’s official: Sonichu and Rosechu… goin’ to be… ''villagers''… officially created from the, uh… head-- from the head game… master behind there. I got the e-mail the-- earlier today. And so, I replied to give him-- needed to give him my approval, even though a few people managed to, uh, give-- get it ''early''… because-- uh, b-because, uh, they left their Con-- the WiiConnect24 on… one night. But anyway, the official release date for both characters is gonna be on my birthday: February 24th!

[''a troll types something'']

There ya go! [''laughs''] Props to Miss [[Emily]] over there!

Okay. I see we got another pending question?

[Troll question: “Have you seen the ‘[[SonichuGirls]]’ forum?”]

Pssh! ''Yeah!'' I love-- I love the ladi-- I ''love'' the girls on there! They’re so ''sweet!'' Believe me! I’ve been there! Sergeant iPod knows. ''Yeah''. I’ve been there. And I’ve offered so much-- and I’ve-- I offered a lotta input on there. It’s like a little piece of heaven to me!

[''a troll types something'']

Ah, I see. Well… y’know, hopefully, uh… you ''will'' be ''approved''… but you got… to be able to… keep-- you-- but you gotta be able to earn your keep on there, you know? Stay ''honest''. I know ''you'' did! Cool.

I-- uh, I enjoy reading the-- reading the individual posts from, uh, every one of the… ''gals'' on there. I mean, not only-- uh, good-- not only good, ''honest'' opinions, but so many… sweet compliments! I mean, I tell ya: it really boosts-- it’s really boostin’ me up! It makes me feel ''omnipotent!''

Okay. So, uh, any ''more'' questions?

[Troll question: “Have you been to another new forum, ‘[[Gay4Sonichu]]’?”]

Tshh! Yeah, I’ve heard about it. I don’t care much for it. Uh… I’d rather just, uh, not think about it.

'Cause everybody here ''knows''… that it’s well-''proven''… that I’m ''straight''. That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it! Really.

[''a troll types something'']

I ''see''. Hmm. I hear a gap! Hmm. Frankly, I appreciate that. I really do. I appreciate that.

[Troll statement: “I miss Ryan!”]

Yep! We all do. At least I was-- at least I was able to, uh, say what I did about him.

[''a troll types something'']

Well, that’s alright. At least you came back!

Yeah, but at least I was able to offer my condolences to the family about their loss. I mean, the best thing to do is to just move on. And, uh, just try to be happy from the, uh, mem-- from the good memories they had… while he was around.

[''a troll types something'']

Hmm. That’s an idea, but I don’t know what he looks like. ''Hmm''. That’s an idea, y’know… anything from his fan art-- I might be able to, uh… use part of that for, like, y’know, I don’t know… maybe additional ''characters'' or somethin’. Hunh. I’ll gladly accept them!

Okay. So, uh… if there are no more questions… then, uh, I’ll just, uh, basically, uh… let y’all know when the next-- at the ''next'' Sonichu Club meeting. Hopefully, we’ll have more ''attendance''. At least more than I was able to tell, ‘cause I was-- had my eyes down at my comic pages! [''chuckles'']

But anyway, uh, let’s-- let’s meet-- the next topic-- the next meeting topic will be about, uh… y’know, the way I-- the way I color my pages… and, uh, draw-- and some drawing methods, uh, ''art'' styles. Showin’ y’all what I’ve learned. And also, uh, we’ll use some… of the parodies and parties I’ve did in the previous comics!

==Part 2==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|9pNfPIXm0HY}}</center>
{{quote|I gotta split and take care of ah… y’know, a Mother Nature errand...}}

===Transcript===

'''Chris:''' So as you know, uh, we do conversational topics… and, you know, y’all could offer real feedback… how y’all felt about them… if y’all agree or disagree about, uh… perspectives… and the color schemes and all- and such. I might swing by, uh, like, y’know, in about an hour… I mean, I got a couple a things to take care of… but, yeah, I’ll swing by y- the [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC]] in an hour.

'''[[Julie]]''': We just wanna chat, not–

'''Chris''': (''interrupting'') Awesome.

'''Julie''': –necessarily Q&A.

'''Chris''': That’d be cool, you know, I’ll answer some questions, well, if y’all have any, or, you know, I’ll just simply chat, that, that’s fine, that’s cool.

'''Julie''': No I mean like, if you’re gonna come today, we could just, like, talk, like, y’know, regular people.

'''Chris''': Yeah sure, I’ll listen and uh, y’all can just… talk, and I’ll, uh, I’ll put my feet back as well… Ehh, it’s a… (''bubbling noises'') ahh… this meeting wasn’t a, was a, at least a pretty good success… from my point of view… uh, next time, uh… hmm…

(''chimes and a honking noise'') That’s the sound of [something] as I post it on the… cale- on the thing there. Bulletin board. Well I’m glad you enjoyed it… I mean, uh, more or less, I was able to, uh, still enjoy reading for y’all… I mean, couple a trolls and distractions, distractions set aside. Least I was able to ah, record it, and I’ll be able to upload segments onto YouTube later. In addition to comic pages.

Cool! You won’t have to wait long! I mean, Monday’s the latest!

I’m glad you feel that way! It’s been ho- it’s been honor and a privilege to uh, read to at least, my- my female fans. And, uh, y’know, the majority that of y’all that attended were able to enjoy it… at least in the for moment (?). Well hopefully we’ll be able to enjoy the discussion in next m- of the next meeting… as well. (''various sound effects play '')

(''faintly'') I didn’t set- yeah- (normal volume) I did not set a date for the next meeting yet… certain off (?) to check with my calendar… but it ''will'' be ah, you know, next month… within the first few days… hmm. But like let’s see, you know what let’s, let’s talk about the- the day of the week that might work best for, uh, everybody. I mean, I was- I mean I just thought Friday was a good day… but, uh… there are better day, that, uh, might be more po- (''sound cuts out for several seconds'')

…distracted… then this one, and uh, this gib tig, home (?) might not be a big success, but, you know, at least you know… ("breathes") where the… cer- where the guys should give eye contact. You know what? Here’s a thought! They should be able to fix it where, I could tilt the head, with my Six-Axis, just like, a- just like on the LittleBigPlanet… with their Sackboy? I could tilt their head? My Six-Axis? (''high-pitched'') It would look better. (''normal'') Then I could actually make my s- give more effort into giving, my- (''sound cuts out'') I mean yeah I could go through my Friends list, and uh, delete the- delete the friends that have been ''offline'' the longest… hmm. Yeah. The [something]- the people behind Home, as well as Sony Computer Entertainment… are, uh, listening in as well… so then, uh, you know… they can actually… get all this, ''feedback''… here. And you know another thing wanna think about? If they actually were able to, ah… I mean, I’ve ''heard'', they uh, had this before? But they took it away because, some people, discurded (''sic'') it with, uh, pornography, and such? But like, you know, presenting ''pictures'', and ''video'', on the uh, TV’s and picture ''frames''. They should damn(?) listen to listen to these tips there since I can now- look at a club house! Look at a nice new TV here but yet… I can’t… watch it, or even show anything on there at this time! That’s- um, if I was able to, it’d definitely prove better!

(''in agreement'') ''I hear that!'' I totally agree! Yeah! (''several seconds of silence'') Tourettes (?), d’you mean to say “ditto”? Or, me too? I mean, I just wanna make sure I under''stand'', but, I mean… y’know that’s another thing, with the, ah… text messaging and all, they just… use… the letters… (''exhales'') acronyms? It’s the- there- ''sometimes'', it’s like, y’know, if the other person doesn’t understand fully, you have to ''explain'' it to them, sooo, in a way it’s a time-saver, but in a way it’s ''not''! (''several seconds of silence'')

(''in agreement'') I hear you on there. But fortunately though but- I myself was able to invest in my wireless keypad… and you know what? They’re really worth the investment. Don’t have to plug in a USB keyboard. Even though I [blyeh?] have to plug in my wireless keypad to recharge it. But, you know what, definitely ''works''! If you’re… um, if you’re [indecipherable] to, ah, press them. (''high-pitched'') You know what, (''normal'') something like a ''Blackberry'' I guess, ‘cause the uh, keys are that small. I mean, it’s like, you turn your controller into your… keyboard. Definitely worth the investment. (''several seconds of silence'')

And if you think about it, considering uh, every GameStop, you’ll be able to ah, trade in your old games or accessories… You give you, ah, trade up there, uh… definitely might be worth your while, you know, n’you just, uh, take, some, take some dough- take some dollars, out for the forty-nine ninety-nine pricetag… And you know the other day I trade, a, couple a games in to uh… go, to go towards uh, paying off uh… Sonic: Unleashed. End up paying only seventeen cents cash! ‘Cause you know, ah, it totaled up to like, uh, forty-nine eighty-five, something like that? And then you add tax and the cents! From the remaining cents! And it’s only like a ''couple'' a cents! Gamestop. Hmm. Power to the players. (''drip sound effect'')

(''in agreement'') I hear you on that. Yup. (''more sound effects'') And then they’re not. You’re still, uh, having feelings for those games ‘cause you played them before and you… had memories? And you know, like, even if, even if you trade them in they’re still a memory no ma- like, you know, eventually, at a lower price, possibly even lower than the amount you traded it in for, you’d be able to get it back. And break even. But y’know… time would heal the wounds in that case, but yet- and the (lower/later?) one, the value would still be decreasing, even lower. (''several seconds of silence'')

Oh, you know this is an interesting topic? Interesting to mention? That Metal Gear Solid 4, used, is currently, only twenty-nine ninety-nine? It- (''I think it cuts out here'')

All right well ladies, it’s been fun… but I gotta split and take care of ah… y’know, a [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Mother Nature errand]]… so… y’know, it’s been fun… I’ll talk to y’all eventual- ah- individually, among, th- various times, or, to next meeting… y-ye-y’all understand. All right, so I- y’all take care now, I’ll see y’all later.

[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

Victory Rockout

2011-08-28T04:13:54Z

Notslowpoke:

Victory Rockout is a video uploaded early in the morning of 28 [[August 2011]] by the YouTube user "CWCvilleProductions". In the video, Chris flails around a [[Guitar Hero]] controller while dancing to a metal remix of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim theme. It appears to be created in response to [[Thorg]]'s retirement from Trolling, referencing Thorg's love for the Elder Scrolls.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Victory Rockout
| video = {{#ev:youtube|41cBjmYezm8}}
| stardate = 28 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcript==
-eah we got victory! I won, it's victory! Victory for all fans, everybodys! [Clipped] is gonna get their kickin', BAM BAM BAM! Bam! I kicked your head in, you damn (something) bullies! Whee!

You bullies are really really stupid, and trolls are really really stupid. Hey you bullies are really really stupid, Team Rocket's stupid, you're stupid, you're stupid, stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid STUPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!

Hello Ian! Why is your last name Brandon Anderson? JUUUUUULAAAYYYYYY! *CWC screeches something*

Victory over the trolls! Trolls are the creators of yellow chicken (something) pokemon! Yeah!

So you can kiss it! It! Kiss it! Kiss it!

And I paid ten dollars for this guitar and game combo, at a garage sale a couple weeks ago! I only paid ten dollars FOR Fallout[: New] Vegas when it was on sale a previous time!

The CWCki's a damn lie! It's a [clipped], false implications! Truths and [honest] contents plague inside the contents [???]

Never-the CWCki no matter what! If you ask questions, [jumbled]. All they tell you is exaggeration and lies! They're all trolls and bullies!

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH

*turns off camera*

Prank calls

2010-09-26T03:11:44Z

Notslowpoke:

It's no secret that the Chandler home gets many '''prank calls''', thanks to [[Chris]]'s e-fame and the fact he actually revealed his phone number to the entire Internet. Multiple times. However, many of the brave souls that call the Chandler home record their calls and upload them to [[YouTube]], providing an insight into the Chandlers' thoughts.

==Prank Call Collection==
A collection of various prank calls made to the almighty [[Bob Chandler|Internet Lumberjack]] on a Sunday afternoon.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|3whf9k9z_Nk}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Yeah, how you doin'? My name is Chris, I'm from Boston.
 '''Bob:''' Hello? I don't understand your conversation.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Would it be possible for me to get your name?
 '''Bob:''' You called me.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Um, there's somebody playing games with the phone.
 '''Bob:''' Nobody's playing games with the phone unless you are.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' [''speaking over Bob''] We're connected to each other through a computer because somebody's sittin' in a room, hacking telephone numbers.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon? I'm just answerin' my telephone.[''Inaudible.''] You called me. What the hell is on your mind, man?
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' [''again, speaking over Bob''] We're connected to each other through a computer because somebody's sittin' in a room, hacking telephone numbers.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon? What's on your mind? You called me, and now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' You're a narcissist. You've got a personality di-disorder. Did you know that?
 '''Bob:''' I don't have a damn thing! You're the one that's a guh-guh-gutter creep [''Inaudible''] - that's just what you are.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' [''talking over Bob again''] I know your weaknesses. I know your weaknesses.
 '''Bob:''' Tell me what you want. I'm- I answered the phone, now tell me what you want. You rang my damn number.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' You see, what you're doing is, you're burning up ''tens'' of ''thousands'' of dollars.
 '''Bob:''' I ain't burnin' up nothin', fella. Now you tell me what the hell you want, or I'm gonna hang this phone up. I don't need ''your'' crap.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Sir, you've just threatened me. And I've got you recorded now. Now you've committed a felony.
 '''Bob:''' That's good. I'm just gonna hang up if you don't tell me what you want.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Can you hear that stuff at the other end?
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Hello, I'm calling, this is Officer Martin from the sheriff's department. How can I help you this evening?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon? I didn't understand you.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' I still didn't understand you. [''Inaudible.''] - speak distinctly.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' [''talking over Bob''] I've already told you who I am. I've already told you who I am. This is sheriff's depar-Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' I don't understand why you're callin' me.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' What insurance department?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Well, you need to stop- to quit callin' here.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm advising you to stop calling.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ''call'' you! You called me! What are- Who are you, and what's goin' on?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm here at Big Daddy's Pizza. I'm Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' Would you speak slowly and one syllable at a time so I can understand you?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Big Daddy's Pizza. I'm here at Big Daddy's Pizza.
 '''Bob:''' You're mayor of Big Daddy's Pizza? Is that what you said?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' No one's called ya.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' No one's called ya.
 '''Bob:''' I can't understand you. You need to take a diction lesson.
 [''Barbara is heard in the background urging Bob on'']
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm gonna advise you now, this is the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' Are- are you the sheriff's department?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 '''Bob:''' Good. Why did you call me?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' No one's called ya.
 '''Bob:''' No one's called me? Then why didn't my phone ring?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Well, you need to stop- to quit callin' here.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you! Listen!
 [''call dropped; redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' [''in the middle of a conversation with Barb'']
 '''Barbara:''' What's the phone number comin' in?
 '''Bob:''' Nothin'.
 '''Barbara:''' Well, hang up!
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Who the hell is this?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Hello, I'm calling, this is Officer Martin from the sheriff's department. How can I help you this evening?
 '''Bob:''' [''chuckling''] I don't know, you can't help me. You're calling me.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Callin' you and cussin' you, OK? Why would I call you when I'm on the sheriff's department why would I call somebody and cuss them out?
 '''Bob:''' I don't know.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Who is ''this''? For cryin' in a bucket...
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' This is the sheriff's depar- Deputy Martin from sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' Well, insurance department of what?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Big Daddy's Pizza.
 '''Bob:''' Big Daddy's Pizza. OK, Big Daddy. Will you please quit callin' me and leave my phone alone?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm advising you to stop calling.
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Now listen, you stupid son of a bitch, I've never called you before you god danged you...[interrupted] - pick about every third day to call me, so fuck you!
 '''Bob:''' YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! Don't call me again! Get down in your damn low-life gutter, okay?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' [interrupting] Hey, fuck you, you stupid cocksucker.
 '''Bob:''' I don't play that. And don't call me again! You bastard!
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Fuck you.
 '''Bob:''' Forget my number! Alright?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Whatta ya need done?
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Duncan Construction.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' This is Frank Garrett.
 '''Bob:''' This is who?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' This is Frank Garrett.
 '''Bob:''' Well, Frank, what is on your mind?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Hey, does your mama still got, uh, worms crawlin' out her pusshy?
 '''Bob:''' What is on your mind, sir?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Did they turn you out of your fuckin' cage again or what?
 '''Bob:''' Listen, you motherfucker! Get off of my telephone and quit bothering' it! Okay?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' [interrupting] No.
 '''Bob:''' Get down in your low-life gutter and stay there!
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' No.
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Yes, why are you calling my number?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I didn't call you
 '''Bob:''' Well then... uh why are you speaking with me?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I have been called 15 times.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Why are you callin' me every 3 minutes for?!?!?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, i'm sitting here in my living room; watching TV.
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Why don't you get your brass balls and come up here buddy?
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't know who you are or where you are, but... and I don't really care! But you... I'll let you talk to my wife and you tell her why your cussin' at me!
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' OK
 '''Bob:''' ''[In the background, Bob and Barbara converse]''
 ''[troll holds in laugh]''
 '''Barbara:''' Hello?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Barbara:''' Who are you calling?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I didn't call you
 '''Barbara:''' Well, you're fucked up somehow; goodbye.
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I'll bust your head wide open if I could see you!
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Depressed Guy (soundboard):''' Hello?
 [''somber music plays in the background'']
 '''Bob:''' Why are you callin' on me on a Sunday afternoon?
 '''Depressed Guy (soundboard):''' I didn't call you, I'm just trying to go to sleep.
 '''Bob:''' I wish you'd quit bothering my telephone, i'm trying to watch TV. I'm an 82 year old man, now cut it out!
 '''Depressed Guy (soundboard):''' My fuckin' life's not doing too well right now, dude.
 ''[call ends]''
 ''[music goes on for a while then fades out]''

==Failed Prank Call==
In this video, a gaggle of trolls attempt to prank call Chris, yelling [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAYYYYY]] into the phone. Instead, they get Bob, who instantly realizes the prank and yells at the trolls.

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===Transcript===
'''Troll 1:''' [''whispers insults at the time it's taking for someone to answer'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' JULAAAAY JULAAAAY JULAAAAY!
 '''Bob:''' What the hell's that supposed to mean? That you're an idiot?
 '''Troll 2:''' Woah woah woah, are you Bob Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn't matter who I am, who is this idiot I'm talking to on the other end?
 '''Troll 2:''' Umm
 '''Bob:''' You got some funny ass ideas about playing games of mind on the telephone don't you. Are you six years old or somethin'?
 '''Troll 1:''' [unintelligible] We got his fucking dad. Shit.

==Chris Calls Bob ==
In this video, a troll calls the Chandler home, using a soundboard of Chris-chan to prank the Chandler home. Note how Bob either recognizes that the call is a prank or he doesn't recognize his own son's voice; also, note that he has a caller ID phone.

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===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm fine, but you're wasting your time calling my phone, you know that?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Don't say that.
 '''Bob:''' Because it doesn- it doesn't make any noise. All it does is flash a light. So it really doesn't bother me, I just thought I would tell you that you're wasting your time
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 [Call likely cut - redialed]
 '''Bob:''' I thought I told you, we don't answer any calls that have unknown names on them or unknown numbers.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I did not mean to give off the impression of being-
 [Redialed]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello!
 '''Bob:''' Hello.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty good.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good!
 '''Bob:''' Why do you bother to call this phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Bob:''' Yes, I am. Why do you bother to call this phone, because the phone doesn't ring.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What the hell? Why are you- why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Barbara:''' Don't call us anymore.
 '''Bob:''' Now don't, don't cuss at me, fella.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up.
 '''Bob:''' I'll start cussing at at you.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Bob:''' Listen, fella. Kid. Whatever you dumbass is.
 '''Barbara:''' ''[heard in the background]'' Hang up the phone!
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian.
 ''[more indistinct conversation in the background, "Hang up the phone!" etc.]''
 '''Bob:''' Well listen, listen. The phone doesn't ring, all it does is light a light, so you're not botherin' me and every once in a while I try and tell you people that you're wastin' your damn time. Okay, you're not botherin' us. So why the hell do you do-waste all that effort? Put it in to something con- constructive and creative.
 '''Barbara:''' ''[interjects]'' Go to Haiti!
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, go to Haiti and help those people, or go to hell, one or the other. ''[Chris soundboard says something simultaneously]''
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes- Yes I agree with you, this is frustrating.
 [''Bob hangs up'']

=='Epic Crazy Lady' calls Bob==
A troll using a soundboard of a super loud Fundamentalist yells at Bob over the phone, while Bob throws insults at her and makes comments on how he can't understand her, as she continues to get angrier.

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{{quote| Listen boy, you get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!| Bob}}

===Transcript===
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Who do you think you are?
 '''Bob:''' Who are you?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I don't know who you are, but I tell you what, I live at 900 Collins Road. Why don't you bring yourself over here?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon, who do you think you're talking to?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Do you know that you're not supposed to talk that way?
 '''Bob:''' Who are you?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You have got a issue problem. God forgive you.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon, who or what is...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Interrupting''] God needs to move in your life.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon. I can't even begin to understand what you're saying.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' God needs to move in your life ''severely''!
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you quit dialing my number, and go somewhere and play a game with the gutter rats?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Bring yourself over here! I'll show you what's the matter! OK?
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you come over here and I'll show ''you'' what's the matter?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Nine hundred Collins Road, bring yourself, buddy.
 '''Bob:''' Hey, buddy. Listen, boy.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You ain't no man.
 '''Bob:''' Listen, boy. You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there. You understand?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I am the woman of the house, and you don't call me and ask me who my daddy is.
 '''Bob:''' I don't know what you are, or who you are, and I don't really care. But you are invading my privacy, and you are cussing at me, and I don't like it.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Call my house and talk that way. I tell you what, why don't you call my husband, and tell my husband that?
 '''Bob:''' I don't know who you are or who you think I am...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Yeah, that's what you are, a big old chicken.
 '''Bob:''' Who do think I am?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' God forgive you.
 '''Bob:''' I wish that you knew what number you called, because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I ain't called your house. Who do you think you are, calling my house?
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call your house, sir, ma'am...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Interrupting''] No, you are!
 '''Bob:''' ...or whatever you are.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You ain't no man. I don't know who you are, but I tell you what, I live at 900 Collins Road. Why don't you bring yourself over here?
 '''Bob:''' I'll let you talk to my wife, maybe she can talk some sense into your head.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Fine.
 '''Bob:''' [''In the background, Bob says something to Barbara about a "goddamn screwy woman." Barbara tells him: "Hang up on her. I ain't talkin' to nobody, this time of night. Hang it up."''] You better check the number that you called, because you're not talking to anybody that you know.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I ain't called your house. Who do you think you are, calling my house?
 '''Bob:''' I haven't called your house. I am the one who picked up the phone and said, "Hello."
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You have got a issue problem.
 '''Bob:''' [''In the background, Barbara tells Bob to hang up because he's getting on her nerves.''] I don't have an issue problem with anybody, but please quit calling my number.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Unintelligible''] bring yourself over here and I'll show you what a whooping is.
 [''Bob hangs up'']
 '''Harlem Barber:''' Barbershop
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass in the gutter and stay there.
 '''Harlem Barber:''' [''Whistles'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey, buddy.

==Bob Calls Himself==
In this one, Bob seems not to be able to recognize his own voice, and his view on trolls is the same as Chris's, "Internet people who persecute people". Also, Snorlax makes an appearance.

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{{quote| I ain't got no black ass!| Barbara, at| Bob |color=silver|size=360%}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling your phone, why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Bob:''' Well who are you? You're the one that made the call.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who do you think I am?!
 '''Bob:''' I don't know wha- who you are but I know you're in Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call the number; my phone rang.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why I-I answered the phone now tell me what you want you rang my damn number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ring your number but if you're in Oklahoma you shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call anybody I just picked up the phone; let me explain something to you, can I do that? I-I'm a Texan now can I-can I explain something to you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good.
 '''Bob:''' Okay. There is on the Internet... a a bunch of trolls, now they persecute people and these these trolls have found somewhere somebody that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID. Now this-the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they've even gived it a named called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. And I think if I-if you think that I called your number and that's what's happening to you because I did not call your number. But that's-
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Speaking over''] Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' -what's happened to me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' Who am I? I'm Robert Chandler and I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old but I was born in Fort Worth, so I'm a neighbor.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What's on your mind, you called me now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm talking to you what do- else do you want?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't have an issue problem with anybody but please quit calling my number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you but I'm trying to explain how these people do it. Okay?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Nobody's playing games with the phone unless you are.
 '''Bob:''' Well, look: I'm 82 years old, all right? I was born in Fort Worth. I'm basically a neighbor of yours or at one time I was. I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa. Okay? I have a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know what you are or who you are and I don't really care.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm trying to be nice to you and to explain what's happening. You're being a victim of the Internet people that persecute people, because I didn't call your number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I still didn't understand you.
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't wha-wha how can I explain it any simpler to you. They-
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy
 '''Bob:''' -they have a program in-in their computer which allows them to dial numbers anywhere in the country and put in as the caller ID any particular telephone number they want to.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen you motherfucker get down in your lowlife gutter and stay there!
 '''Bob:''' Listen I didn't start cussing at you now-now-now just [[Bob walks in|cut it down]], cool it down; I'm trying to be nice to you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't need your crap.
 '''Barbara:''' Hello there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Barbara:''' Sir or mam or whatever the hell you are.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Barbara:''' Don't you call up here-now look don't you call up here cussing at my husband.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Get down in you lowlife gutter and stay there
 '''Barbara:''' We didn't have-we didn't have anything to do with this damn...er...thing that's going on. There are a lot of- lot of weird people out here and you might be included as one of them if you are calling us and cussing us out. Now hang up the phone and forget the number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!
 '''Barbara:''' I ain't got no black ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey buddy.

== Liquid Bob calls Bob ==
A troll pretending to be a Liquid version of Bob calls Bob. In this video we learn that Bob doesn't know of Sonic, and thinks Chris invented Sonichu himself. Also, we learn that the trolls are spoofing the telephone company.

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{{quote|S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G.|Bob, repeating himself}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:'''-FBI and everybody else, that there's a system that goes on that says that anybody that wants to do it that knows how with the proper software and stuff can call any number in the country that they want to and can put any particular phone number in the system as if it came from that number to the people: called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Now-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Is-
 '''Bob:''' -you can call your local police department if you like about that but that's the name they all know it as: spoofing. Now I'm not calling your number some dizzy kook out there on the Internet is playing games with ya.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you telling me that somebody out there on the Internet is using your phone number in an attempt to pin the blame on your family?
 '''Bob:''' That's right. It goes on all the time, I've gotten calls from people everywhere. I've even-I've even uh gotten calls where I was terrorizing people and I wasn't even on the phone!
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh, sir I-I do not happen to know if anybody on the Internet who is drawing cartoons, I-I don't know I don't use the Internet but if that's-
 '''Bob:''' I don't use the Internet either, but my son does.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh-
 '''Bob:''' These people they hate him because he has copyright, and he just won a case in England on copyright, and there are people in the world that hate him, there are people in the world that love him but there are people in the world that hate him and the people in the world that hate him are going to all sorts of ends to try and destroy him.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son-your son is a
 '''Bob:''' -one of the ways they do it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son is a cartoonist?
 '''Bob:''' Yes he is.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's very-that's a very nice to hear. I hope he's doing good.
 '''Bob:''' Well he doesn't make a living at it but he's autistic, he's shares his cartoons with the world and has for the last ten or twelve years.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I've got a grandson who's into cartoons like that, he might know 'em. He's on the Internet, uh, looking up cartoons on the Internet and, uh, I think it's pretty nifty to be quite honest with you. That-
 '''Bob:''' Well the ones that my son does is called Sonichu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Sonichu? Is that some Japanese thing or what?
 '''Bob:''' Well it's Sonic and chu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh so-
 '''Bob:''' Like a Pikachu and like the Sonic.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well my grandkids are into this little thing called Pikachu but I wouldn't know anything about that. You taught your son-your son is a creator of this character?
 '''Bob:''' Ever since before the year 2000-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh
 '''Bob:''' -he's been putting and drawing them and putting them on the Internet with the world.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh I see where this- I just wanted to find w-where these telephone numbers are up and coming from because-
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, you can go and check with your local police department if you like but there is called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoo-
 '''Bob:''' They gon' come and say they can't stop it either,
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoofing.
 '''Bob:''' I-I could be put in jail for just terrorizing people cause my number comes in on their caller ID.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Can I-is this Mister Chandler right, your name is Mister Chandler right?
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, you-your
 '''Bob:''' Robert Chandler, I've got nothing to hide.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There-there are
 '''Bob:''' I'm eighty-two years old and I'm retired from GE.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There are other people I have heard I think one of my sons has been receiving calls from that number as well. I did a look-read up of that as well, my son who is very into the Internet did a look up of that number and found out that most people are getting calls from that number as well.
 '''Bob:''' Well you see these people are using our number to try and get us in trouble.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I am very sorry to hear that sir.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's just how this world goes there are some lousy people in this world [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I-uh oh man I uh-- have you reported this incident yet?
 '''Bob:''' Well you try and get in touch with the FBI, have you ever tried to get in touch with he FBI, you can't get in touch with the FBI. They don't even have any phone numbers and if you find a phone number you then get an answering machine and nobody ever calls you back. They get no money for this kind o' thing, this Internet crime stuff-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are-are you saying they are purposely ignoring this-
 '''Bob:''' [''speaking over''] -mistaken identity and everything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -they are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' They are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' That's right they are purposely ignoring it, the telephone company will tell you the same thing. They all have this thing named and it's called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' So they know this thing exists but they won't do anything about it.
 '''Bob:''' That's right they won't do a thing about it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Yeah-
 '''Bob:''' The caller ID won't block it or anything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you a Republican sir?
 '''Bob:''' I'm a-I'm a Republican yes.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That is-
 '''Bob:''' I didn't vote for Obama that's-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I did not vote for Obama either.
 '''Bob:''' Heh. What part of New York are you in?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think we live around Upstate New York, I-we're very conservative-
 '''Bob:''' -Upstate New York once, I lived in Utica.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I have a cousin who lives in Utica, I don't know if he's still living there but I haven't spoke to him in ten years-
 '''Bob:''' Yeah I worked with GE up there once bout forty years ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' General Electric?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah General Electric.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh, that's a very nice-I heard that's a very nice employ- steady job.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah well I retired from there so.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just want-
 '''Bob:''' I enjoyed it, I used to go hiking in the Adirondacks and up there in the-in the mountains of uh--whate-- white mountain I guess it is they call it or something.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think that's what we'll call it, it's very cold up here too; very very cold.
 '''Bob:''' I could remember some days when it was 35 below 0 up here. I got my tootsie-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' We just had sixteen, sixteen inches of snow. I was-
 '''Bob:''' Would you believe I'm sitting in Charlottesville if you know where that is, in Virgin-Virginia
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think it's
 '''Bob:''' next to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, I can see the mountains from my house. But we have right now two feet of snow in our yard and one time we had over three feet; bout two weeks ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That- holy moly! Are you able to get on the road safely?
 '''Bob:''' Well I-I parked my car next to the street and I finally we got a plow and I can get in and out right now because I'm next to street but for about a week we couldn't get out at all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh- that's very scary to hear that you guys get that much snow during the winter months.
 '''Bob:''' It stopped Washington, Philadelphia, Baltimore and New York too, the same storms. It put the government out of business for seven days up there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, that just goes to shown ya you can't underestimate nature.
 '''Bob:''' That's right you can't, that's what I learned while I was in Utica in Upstate New York there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' It gets pretty bad up here let me tell. It-we had an ice storm about twenty years ago, it took the power out for nearly a month, all the cars were frozen, we couldn-we couldn't even use our refrigerator, oh it was scary we were afraid it wasn't even gonna come back on.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm [''chuckles''] I'm sure, well I can remember it we used to get all that what do you call it; lake effect snow?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh what was-
 '''Bob:''' -snow up there, the snow that comes off the moisture off the great lake there? And uh I can remember three feet of snow in Utica
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh yeah uh that's-
 '''Bob:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -it hasn't been that bad yet, hopefully it won't be that bad in the future, winter months almost over and I can tell ya I want to get out on my boat again. And fish don't- and I go snapper fishing and they don't come 'till August.
 '''Bob:''' That's right, I remember a joke about it up there, you-you had two seasons: winter and the 4th of July.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' [''forced laughing''] Yeah uh- that's what they call it: Christmas and July [''chuckles'']
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I'm gotta be going now, well I just wanted to clear this-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry just ignore those calls cause it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just wanted to be-verify this cause occasionally people have called us and we just wanted to see if it was important or not. Cause I do have family in Virgi-
 '''Bob:''' Somebody might not like your son on the Internet and that's why they're- number and everythin' and that's why they're using our number to terrorize you.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh that probably answers some random number- back when I was little boy we used to just type in random numbers and the-phone just make ran- calls. I'm not proud of it or anythin' that's just what we did, it's none of this scary stuff that involves computers and everything; we did it in good fun we weren't tryin' to be antagonistic about it.
 '''Bob:''' Well there you are- for a while there they were even trying to talk my son into committing suicide over the Internet.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well that's just wrong.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah it's disgusting and the federal government won't do a thing to help us- or the local government or anybody.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Have you gotten the police involved yet?
 '''Bob:''' It's just uh- it's just we've learned how to cope with it that's all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's a-that's a shame. I hope they- you know- don't go too far with this or you better get the police involved.
 '''Bob:''' We have but they don't do anything; they say this is an Internet matter it's federal government
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Apparently-
 '''Bob:''' -federal government says we don't have any money.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -according to my son the police say we don't give crap about goes on the Internet; they only care if it goes on-
 '''Bob:''' That's absolutely correct.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh I have to be going now Mister Chandler it's uh-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry, sorry somebody's been botherin' you but it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I'll just keep-I'll just- I'll block uh this whoever spoofin' me from now on. Well thank you for clearin' this up I uh hope things go better for you and your son. Have a good day sir.
 '''Bob:''' We've learned to just ignore it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' You should. Well have a good day and I hope the winter months don't give you the cold shoulder [''laughs'']
 '''Bob:''' I'll be alright.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Alright take care now.

== Snake Productions Calls Bob Chandler ==
Not much of a prank, but rather an informative call. From this brief conversation between troll and dad we learn that Bob is fully aware that Chris posted their dox in numerous places on the Internet, and actually thinks [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his]] [[For Julie's Eyes Only|son]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|is]] [[Twin Falling Towers|a]] [[Sonichu Special 4|better]] [[Sonichu 10|person]].

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=== Transcript ===

 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll:''' Oh, hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello? Why you ringin' my number?
 '''Troll:''' Oh, oh, hey, um, I've been hearing that, uh...
 '''Bob:''' Why you ringin' my number?
 '''Troll''': Um, your son's kinda like getting you through some trouble on the, uh...online. He's giving out his- giving out your home phone number.
 '''Bob:''' My home phone number's been on the Internet four years, and I don't care. Now why you callin' my number?
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, your...I think you heard about how your, uh, [[Tour of Chris's House|videos of your house]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|were on the Internet]]?
 '''Bob:''' I've heard a lot of stuff, and most of it is a bunch of trash, okay?
 '''Troll:''' Well, um...
 '''Bob:''' Why you callin' my number?
 ''' Troll:''' W-w-w-w-w-wait a minute, wait. Um...
 '''Bob:''' I'm gettin' kinda sick and tired of you people botherin' my home phone number. This is my private phone number, now get rid of it.
 '''Troll:''' Wait, wait, I'm not trying to piss you off.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, you are, because you're comin' in on an unknown blocked number call.
 '''Troll:''' Your-
 '''Bob:''' If you were up and aboard and above board(?) and really doin' what you say you ki- think you're doin', then your number would come in along with your name.
 '''Troll:''' [''quietly''] Shit, whatever lumberjack.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, you can't argue with that, can you? Now quit callin' my damn number and leave it alone!
 '''Troll:''' Okay [[Chris_and_race#Parental_influence|KKK cracker.]]
 '''Bob:''' Okay, cracker.
 [''Troll snickers'']
 '''Bob:''' Get your act together. I'm 82 years old, and I've survived a long damn time. The way you're goin', you're not gonna make it very far.
 '''Troll:''' Can't raise your damn son right.
 '''Bob:''' I raised my son. [[Chris and psychology|My son is fine]]. [[Fail|My son has done a lot better than you have]], [[Chris and anger|he's a hell of a lot nicer than you are]], he doesn't go around callin' people all the damn time.
 '''Troll:''' Hey, I'm nice, but I'm just- I'm just trying to let you know, you're trying to, you're kinda being an ass on the other line.
 '''Bob:''' No, I'm not being an ass. I'm just gettin' tired of [[Chris and his ego|you people out there thinkin' you're God's gift to the world when you're not]].
 '''Troll:''' W-well, I'm- I'm not thinking, I'm not-
 '''Bob:''' Look at yourself in the mirror every morning, look at yourself...
 '''Troll:''' I do.
 '''Bob:''' ...and say "Now what do I do to deserve to judge other people?..."
 '''Troll:''' Well, I'm not-
 '''Bob:''' "...I'm so great that I can judge other people, and they're so damn far below me?" No, I think you should get off the phone and find yourself somethin' constructive to do as an entertainment.
 '''Troll:''' Well, I'm just-
 '''Bob:''' Thank you and good night.
 '''Troll:''' Okay, bitch.
 [''call ends'']

== Chris calls Mary Lee Walsh and Michael Snyder ==
A troll using a soundboard of Chris prank calls [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Michael Snyder]]. However, both realize the caller to be a fake and hang up.

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==== Transcript (Mary) ====
'''Mary:''' Hello, Mary Lee Walsh?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You've been nothing but- nothing but a pain in my- a pain in my side! [''talking over Mary''] You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Mary:''' What are you- Who is this?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' [''again talking over Mary''] You shut up!
 '''Mary:''' I'm sorry, who am I speaking to?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian Weston Chandler.
 [''silence'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Pussy.
 '''Mary:''' Um, who?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian.
 '''Mary:''' Well, I'll track the number, what do you need-
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I invite you to come- I invite you to write this down.
 [''silence'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uh, yeah, you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over?
 [''Mary hangs up'']

==== Transcript (Michael) ====
'''Madeleine:''' The Game Place, this is Madeleine. How can I help you?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Madeleine:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uhh, who is this?
 '''Madeleine:''' This is Madeleine.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm sorry. Yeah, okay, well I've mis- I've misunderstan- okay, well I've- I've misun-
 '''Madeleine:''' Can I help you with something?
 [''pause, faint whispering in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' We have miscommunication.
 [''unintelligible; Chris and Madeleine talk at the same time'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uhh, who is this?
 '''Michael:''' Christian.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak little son of a bitch! [''talking over Michael'']
 '''Michael:''' You wanna talk to me, you need to ''talk'' to me.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uh, yeah, you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over?
 '''Michael:''' Yeah, so?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You can find me right now, I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Michael:''' I don't know who this is, but, uh, it's a waste of everbody's time.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up.
 [''silence; Michael talks faintly in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh, come on!
 [''silence; Michael talks faintly in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You shut up!
 [''silence; Michael talks faintly in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 [''silence; Michael talks faintly in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 [''silence'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Pussy.
 [''redialed'']
 '''Michael:''' The Game Place, this is Mike. How may I help you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen, boy. You get yo black ass down a gutter and stay there.
 [''pause'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' How about you talk to my wife, maybe she can talk some sense into your head?
 [''pause'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 [''call ends'']

== Bob calls Cole Smithey ==
A troll using a soundboard of Bob prank calls Christian's half brother, [[Cole Smithey]], but with little success...

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==== Transcript ====
'''Answering machine:''' Hi, you've reached Cole-
 '''Cole:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey, buddy.
 '''Cole:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen, boy. You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there.
 '''Cole:''' Hahahahahahaha.
 [''Default Skype hanging up sound, Cole hangs up'']
 [''Redial'']
 '''Answering machine:''' Hi, you've reached Cole at [''"*Bleeped out number*" is displayed on the screen, accompanied by Chris screaming'']. Please leave your telephone number twice, along with your message. Thanks. [''beep'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm Robert Chandler. Why don't you quit dialin' my number, and go somewhere and play a game with the gutter rats?
 [''Default Skype hanging up sound, troll hangs up'']
 [''tape runs out'']

==Chris calls Golden Corral==
The same troll from the above call utilizes his soundboard once again to prank Charlottesville's local [[Golden Corral]]. Lulz ensue when he engages in a verbal conflict with the restaurant [[Manajerk|Manager]].

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====Transcript====
''[Intro music: "I Love This Bar" by Toby Keith.]''

'''Waitress:''' [unintelligible]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Waitress:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' How are you?
 '''Waitress:''' Fine.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good!
 [''at the same time''] What? / My name is Christian Weston Chandler.
 '''Waitress:''' I can't understand you.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian.
 '''Waitress:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You want me to caress your breasts?
 '''Waitress:''' Aah, hold on.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 [''pause; a radio can be heard playing in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 [''silence'']
 '''Waiter 1''' Good morning, this is [unintelligible] speaking. How can I help you?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Waiter 1''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up. You've been nothing but a- you've been nothing but a pain in my- just a pain in my side!
 '''Waiter 1''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You shut up!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh, come on!
 [''call ends; redialed'']
 '''Waiter 2:''' Golden Corral, [unintelligible], how can I help you?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What the hell. Why are you- why did you start doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh, come on!
 [''call ends; redialed'']
 '''Waiter 3:''' Golden Corral of Charlottesville, how can I help you?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I invite you to come- I invite you to write this down. You can find me right now; I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 [''call ends; redialed'']
 '''Waiter 4:''' Good morning, thank you for calling Golden Corral Charlottesville. [Unintelligible], how can I help you today?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uh, yeah, you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over?
 '''Waiter 4:''' Yeah, you should, [unintelligible], you need the address, man?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 [''at the same time''] [unintelligible] / 14 Branch-
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' No. 14 Branchland Court. Ruckersville.
 '''Waiter 4:''' I'm sorry, [unintelligible]?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Waiter 4:''' In Ruckersville; that's your address. I don't need your address; do you need our address?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I invite you to come- I-
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What time do you think you can be by my place?
 '''Waiter 4:''' I'm not coming to your place.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Waiter 4:''' Why would we come to your place, man?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You've been nothing but a- you've been nothing but a pain in my- just a pain in my side!
 '''Waiter 4:''' Man, I think you need to stop calling this number, because I don't know what's up, but obviously you've got some crossed signals somewhere, and you're calling our restaurant, and we do not deliver, and I don't know who you are, so [unintelligible] you need to stop calling, thank you.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh, come on!
 [''call ends; redialed'']
 '''Waiter 5:''' Good afternoon, thank you for calling Golden Corral of Charlottesville, this is [unintelligible] speaking, how can I help you [unintelligible]?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You shut up!
 '''Waiter 5:''' Okay, look. Let me be really frank with you. Stop calling this damn number, bitch. Alright? [unintelligible] I suggest-
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up.
 '''Waiter 5:''' [unintelligible]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You shut up!
 [''call ends; redialed'']
 '''Manager:''' Hello!
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' At least I don't go around lying, pretending that I am an astronaut.
 '''Manager:''' Who is this?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian.
 '''Manager:''' Why do you keep calling here?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You've been nothing but a- you've been nothing but a pain in my- just a pain in my side!
 '''Manager:''' [unintelligible]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian Weston Chandler.
 '''Manager:''' Christian what?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Christian Weston Chandler.
 '''Manager:''' Okay, well, you need to stop calling us [unintelligible], okay?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' No.
 '''Manager:''' Yeah; otherwise I'm going to have to call the police.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' 14 Branchland Court. Ruckersville.
 '''Manager:''' 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Go ahead, go ahead and take it to the police!
 '''Manager:''' I will, because we have no idea who you are!
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 '''Manager:''' Now, do you have a home number? I can have somebody from our [unintelligible] contact you.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' No.
 '''Manager:''' [unintelligible] so you don't want us calling your damn phone, do ya?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Manager:''' Yep, that's what I'm writing down, man. And, uh, stop calling the damn phone, okay? 'Cause you're crazy.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I don't know.

==Phone Harassment==
A troll using a soundboard of Bob harasses several people over the phone. Lulz ensues.

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====Transcript====

 '''Frankie:''' [''Unintelligible''] How may I help?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm 82 year old man.
 [''Pause'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Frankie:''' Do you have a question for a [''Unintelligible''] this mornin'?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Okay. Can I explain something to you?
 '''Frankie:''' Okay.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen, boy. You get your black ass down in the gutter-
 '''Frankie:''' [''Interrupting, unintelligible'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' - And stay there.
 [''Call ends'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't care what you are or who you are.
 [''Redial'']
 '''Frankie:''' Hi this is Frankie can I help you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello? Hello?
 '''Frankie:''' Hello this is Frankie, can I help?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old but I was born in Fort Worth. Who are you?
 '''Frankie:''' [''Unintelligible''] Thank you, bye.
 [''Call ends'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen you motherfucker! You get your black ass down in the gutter.
 [''Redial'']
'''Frankie:''' [''Unintelligible''] Can I help?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Can I explain something to you? Can I do that?
 '''Frankie:''' No.
 [''Call ends'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Well let me explain something to you.
 [''Redial'']
 '''Frankie:''' [''Unintelligible''], How can I help?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey buddy, I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa, we're basically a neighbor of yours. Who is this?
 [''Call ends'']
 [''Calls Blockbuster'']
 '''Jarred:''' Blockbuster Video, Jarred speaking, how may I help you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you and what's goin' on?
 '''Jarred:''' Huh?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Jarred:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling on me on a Sunday afternoon?
 '''Jarred:''' I'm... not, may I ask who this is?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Cut it down. I'm Robert Chandler. Why are you callin' my phone?
 '''Jarred:''' I haven't placed a call today.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you fucking my phone?
 '''Jarred:''' Excuse me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy. Why are you fucking my phone?
 '''Jarred:''' Um.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Okay.
 '''Jarred:''' Yeah, I'm gonna to go ahead and hang up. Thank you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You the mayor of Big Daddy's pizza? Is that what you said?
 [''Ends call'']
 [''Redial'']
 '''Jarred:''' Hello, Blockbuster Video, Jarred speaking.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Now listen you motherfucker. You get your black ass down in a gutter and stay there. Okay?
 '''Jarred:''' I'm, I'm not sure what you're on about, but I haven't placed a call today.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Let me explain something to you. I didn't call you, but I'm tryin' to explain how these people do it! Okay?
 [''Pause'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' May I explain something to you?
 '''Jarred:''' Go ahead.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I live in Ruckersville, Virginia. I was born in Fort Worth. I'm basically a neighbor of yours. You come over here and I show you what's the matter.
 '''Jarred:''' Sir I'm in [''Clipped''] Kentucky, I'm not anywhere near-
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Interrupting''] Oklahoma! I've got a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Jarred:''' Right.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yes. I've got a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also. So I'm a neighbor.
 '''Jarred:''' Okay.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling on me on a Sunday afternoon?
 '''Jarred:''' I haven't called you sir.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'll let you talk to my wife, maybe she can talk some sense into your head.
 '''Jarred:''' Very well.
 '''Barbara (soundboard):''' Hello there!
 '''Jarred:''' Hello.
 '''Barbara (soundboard):''' There are a lot of- lot of weird people out here and we didn't have-we didn't have anything to do with this damn...uh...thing that's going on.
 '''Jarred:''' Didn't having anything to do with what that's going on? You cut off for a second.
 '''Barbara (soundboard):''' Sir or ma'am, or whatever the hell you are. Don't you call up here-now look don't you call up here cussing at my husband.
 '''Jarred:''' I haven't called, nor cursed at all.
 '''Barbara (soundboard):''' You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!
 '''Jarred:''' Oh, very well.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Well I'm trying to be nice to you and to explain what's happening.
 '''Jarred:''' I'm trying to understand, but I'm not quite getting it because there has not been a phone call placed from this phone today. This is a Blockbuster Video, and we don't call out.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I didn't call you but I'm tryin' to explain how these people do it. There is on the Internet.
 '''Jarred:''' Yes.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' A bunch of trolls, and these these trolls have found somewhere somebody that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID.
 '''Jarred:''' Righ- [''Unintelligible, being talked over'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Okay. They have the program in their computer that allows them to dial numbers, anywhere in the country and put in as the caller I.D., any particular telephone number they want too.
 '''Jarred:''' Right.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Now this the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they even gived it a name called spoofing.
 '''Jarred:''' Uh huh.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Now they persecute people. You called me. Why are you calling me? I'm 82 years old. I'm an 82 year old man. Okay, cool it down, I'm trying to be nice to you. Okay?
 '''Jarred:''' And I'm trying to be nice, but I'm, as I said, the, we, if some is indeed hacking our number, we did not actually place the call.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good. Okay?
 [''Ends call'']
 [''New call'']
 '''Dude:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Let me explain something to you. Can I explain something to you?
 '''Dude:''' Who, who you tryin' to reach?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Okay? Can I do that?
 '''Dude:''' No!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Spoofing. Can I do that?
 '''Dude:''' No.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You shouldn't be upset like that. I'm an 82 year old man. Cut it down.
 [''Call ends'']
 [''New call'']
 '''Sam:''' Sam (Anses?), how can I help you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Sam:''' Hello.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why you callin' me? Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Sam:''' hello? Who's this? Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm Robert Chandler. Can I explain something to you?
 '''Sam:''' What?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Let me explain something to you. Listen, you motherfucker, you get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there. Okay?
 '''Sam:''' Huh.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Well right now it's midnight, what in the world do you want?
 '''Sam:''' Uh, no one called your phone.
 [''Call ends'']
 [''Redial'']
 '''Sam:''' Sam (Anses?), how may I help you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm 82 years old, now I live in Ruckersville, Virginia. Hehe, you come over here and I'll show you what's the matter.
 '''Sam:''' [''Unintelligible, away from the phone''] Called me twice, [''Unintelligible'']
 '''Other Guy:''' Hello!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello, I beg your pardon?
 Bob and the Other Guy at the same time: '''Hello?'''/'''Hello?'''
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' And I live in Ruckersville, Virginia. Hehe, you come over here and I'll show you what's the matter.
 '''Other Guy:''' I'm sorry?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Other Guy:''' Who's calling your phone?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Cut it down. Can I do that? Can I explain something to you?
 '''Other Guy:''' You can do whatever you want, I don't know who the hell you are or what you're calling me for.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm Robert Chandler. Let me explain something to you. There is on the Internet, a, a bunch of trolls, that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID. Now this the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they even-
 '''Other Guy:''' [Interrupting] Okay, and how does this relate to me? I'm at work here, can I help you with something?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Spoofing, S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G.
 [''Call end'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Cut it down.
 [''New call'']
 '''Perry:''' [''Unintelligible''] This is Perry, how may I help you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Perry:''' Yes.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Can you speak slowly, and one syllable at a time, so I can understand you?
 '''Perry:''' This is the Fairfield Inn at West Des Moines. Can I help you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Okay. Can I explain something to you?
 '''Perry:''' Yeah, sure.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Perry:''' Oh man up!
 [''Call ends'']
 [''Redial'']
 '''Perry:''' [''Unintelligible''] Crystal Inn, West Des Moines, this is Perry, how may I-
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy.
 [''Talking over each other'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'll let you talk to my wife, maybe she can talk some sense into your head.
 '''Perry:''' [''Unintelligible''] if you have a crap with me, why don't you go ahead and call the police, have them get a hold of me, otherwise you stop bugging this facility-
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Interrupting, talking over'']
 '''Perry:''' I'll have the phone tapped, and we'll find your dumb, old ass, and you know you told me you were going to kill yourself once, why don't you go ahead-
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Interrupting, again''] You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there. Well, who do you think I am?
 [''Call end'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Bastard!
 [''Redial'']
 '''Perry:''' [''Unintelligible''] suites, West Des Moines, this is Perry, how can I help you?
 '''Barbara (soundboard):''' Hello there! [''Talking over Perry''] Sir, or ma'am, or whatever the hell you are.
 [''Call ends'']
 [''Redial'']
 '''Perry:''' [''Unintelligible''] suites in West Des Moines, this is Perry, how can I help you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Well, I'm tryin' to be nice to you, and explain what's happening.
 '''Perry:''' Have them call me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Perry:''' [''Unintelligible''], so, this is my last warning to you, do not-
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' No!
 '''Perry:''' -call here again.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Cool it down, I'm tryin' to be nice to you.
 '''Barbara (soundboard):''' Hang up the phone and forget the number!
 [''Call end'']
 [''Redial'']
 '''Perry:''' Good day, Fair Field Suites at West Des Moines, my name is Perry, how can I help you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you callin' my phone?
 '''Perry:''' Dude, you need to lay off whatever you're doing. Stop calling here, this is a business.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Can I explain something to you?
 '''Perry:''' What town do you live in?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Perry:''' Well then, you call the police there, you have them call me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Interrupting and talking over''] Hehe, you come here and I'll show you what's the matter.
 '''Perry:''' I'm too busy to deal with this sir, lay off the alcohol. Goodbye.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hehe, you come here and I'll show you what's the matter.
 [''Call ends'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Bastard!
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Frank Garrett?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Frank Garrett?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello? Can I explain something to you? Can I do that?
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Frank Garrett?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You're being a victim of the Internet people that persecute people.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' You don't say?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Can I help explain something to you?
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Frank Garrett?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there. Listen you motherfucker, get in your low-life gutter and stay there.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' You don't say?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why you fuck my phone?
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Frank Garrett?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why you fuck my phone?
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Frank Garrett?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why you fuck my phone?
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Frank Garrett?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why you callin' my number?
 [''Video end'']

==Bob calls the US Department of Education==

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|K-yX5D9hAmk}}
</center>

====Transcript====
''[Intro music: "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" by Smashing Pumpkins]''
 '''Larry:''' This is Larry speaking. How can I help you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Larry:''' How are you doing today?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Larry:''' This is Larry speaking. How can I help you today?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm Robert Chandler.
 '''Larry:''' OK. And how are you doing today, Mr. Chandler?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good.
 '''Larry:''' OK. And you called, sir... Did you say Robert Chandler?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yes.
 '''Larry:''' All right. Um, last four of your Social was ''[redacted]''.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yes.
 '''Larry:''' OK. I do have to let you know this call may be monitored for quality assurance. How can I help you today, Rob? You called in here?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Larry:''' My name is Larry Griffin, sir.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling me?
 '''Larry:''' OK, we're calling you Rob, we're calling you on behalf of the United States Department of Education, sir. I do have to let you know this call may be monitored for quality assurance. Um, we're calling about your student loans that are in default, sir.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What?
 '''Larry:''' Were you aware that complaints had been filed against you, Rob?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' No!
 '''Larry:''' You didn't know? It's been in default since 1999.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What?
 '''Larry:''' Your student loans have been in default since 1999, Rob.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm an 82-year-old man.
 '''Larry:''' You said you're what?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old. I was born in Fort Worth.
 '''Larry:''' And the last four of your Social was ''[redacted]'', correct?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yes.
 '''Larry:''' And do you have any children named Rob Chandler, as well?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' No!
 '''Larry:''' You don't? OK. Well, the Department of Education filed a complaint against you. It's under your Social Security number, uh, in the amount of $24,461.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I- I'm a Texan, now.
 '''Larry:''' You're gonna what?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa.
 '''Larry:''' OK, this is for the University of Missouri in St. Louis. Did you go to, did you go to college?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' No!
 '''Larry:''' Hmm. Well, they have your Social Security number...
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' ''[Interrupting]'' I beg your pardon. I can't even understand what you're saying.
 '''Larry:''' I'm calling about your student loans that are in default with the United States Department of Education, Rob. When you went to go to school, you had to fill out for some student loans. They're in default now, because you haven't paid 'em.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' ''You'' called ''me''.
 '''Larry:''' You said what?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You're the one that made the call.
 '''Larry:''' Right, we're calling to see if we can help you get your student loans out of default, before they go with further collection activity against you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Will you please quit calling me and leave my phone alone?
 '''Larry:''' We're gonna call you, it's your Social Security number. You saying that's not gonna stop us from calling you. You owe a loan.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen, you motherfucker...
 '''Larry:''' You owe the government, Rob. Cussing is not getting you anywhere, Rob.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why don't you quit dialing my number...
 '''Larry:''' Cussing is not doing anything, sir. Cussing is not doing nothing.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why don't you quit...
 '''Larry:''' I mean, come on, now. You owe a loan, Rob.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why don't you...
 '''Larry:''' Cussing is not a checkboook; it's not gonna pay your loan.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why don't you quit dialing my number, and go somewhere and play a game with a gutter rat.
 '''Larry:''' ''[Talking over Bob]'' Rob, what you need to understand is that we're gonna call you because you owe the government, OK?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Cut it out.
 '''Larry:''' So we're gonna continue to call, Rob.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Cut it out.
 '''Larry:''' You owe a debt.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I didn't call you, but I'm trying to explain how these...
 '''Larry:''' ''[Interrupting]'' Right. Right, we're calling ''you'', to try to help ''you'' out, so you can get your loans out of default. You being mean and cussing is not helping nobody out.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Larry:''' Rob, I'm not upset. I'm trying to help you out. You're the one upset cussin'.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Cut it down.
 '''Larry:''' Cut it down?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Cut it out.
 '''Larry:''' Cut it out, come on, now. Rob, do you want to handle this voluntarily or not?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yes.
 '''Larry:''' Huh? You do?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' No!
 '''Larry:''' OK. So you're not workin' right now, Rob? You're not receiving any income?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' No!
 '''Larry:''' OK. So who, how have you been surviving then?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?
 '''Larry:''' I wanna get your loans out of default, Rob! That's why we're calling you, because you have student loans that are in default with the United States Department of Education.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Then why did my phone ring?
 '''Larry:''' Didn't you just call in?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' No!
 '''Larry:''' Did you just call in here?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' No!
 '''Larry:''' You didn't just call in here? I mean, I just answered the phone, Rob.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't have an issue problem with anybody, but please quit calling my number.
 '''Larry:''' Rob, we're gonna call you because you owe the Department of Education. You owe the government money, Rob, that's why we're calling you. Because if you don't wanna pay...
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm just not answering my telephone.
 '''Larry:''' ...we still have to call you, OK?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I haven't called..
 '''Larry:''' Do you wanna get your student loans out of default?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I haven't called your house. I'm the one who picked up the phone and said, "Hello."
 '''Larry:''' Right, right, right, so we're trying to help you out, Rob. Do you wanna get your student loans out of default?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' No!
 '''Larry:''' You don't want... do you want them to go into garnishment against you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't need your crap.
 '''Larry:''' My crap? I mean, Rob... What are, what are you talking about?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Get in your low-life gutter and stay there.
 '''Larry:''' Low-life gutter and stay there? Are you serious? This is...
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' ''[Talking over Larry]'' Listen, boy.
 '''Larry:''' ...not how to get your loans out of default. I'm not a boy.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen, listen, you motherfucker!
 '''Larry:''' I'm not that, either, OK? Rob, do you want to handle this voluntarily or not? I need to know what to document your account as.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Larry:''' We're calling you for the... Rob, I'm gonna say this for the fifth time. We're calling you to let you know you have student loans that are in default with the United States Department of Education. We need to make you aware of what's going on, Rob. OK?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know who you are and who you think I am.
 '''Larry:''' Were you aware of this? I think you're Rob Chandler, last four of your Social ''[redacted]'', and that's why I did let you know this call may be monitored for quality assurance.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm Robert Chandler.
 '''Larry:''' Right, last four of your Social were ''[redacted]''...
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old.
 '''Larry:''' ...''[unintelligible]'' against you in the amount of $24,461.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yeah, I'm 82 years...
 '''Larry:''' So we're seeing if this could be handled voluntarily, before they keep the account and go forward with further collection activity against you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old, but I was born in Fort Worth.
 '''Larry:''' You're 82 years old?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yes.
 '''Larry:''' Do you live at 1040 Clare Ridge Place?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' So I'm a neighbor.
 '''Larry:''' Huh?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I was born in Fort Worth and I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Larry:''' OK. And the last four of your Social is ''[redacted]''. You don't live on Clare Ridge Place?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You come over here and I'll show you what's the matter.
 '''Larry:''' I'll come over there and you'll show me what?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You come over here and I'll show you what's the matter.
 '''Larry:''' OK, OK, Rob, look. What are we gonna do here? This back and forth with you cussin' on the phone is not helpin' nobody out. It's not makin' nobody a better man.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my number?
 '''Larry:''' So what is, what is, what is the purpose of this call, Rob?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Larry:''' Well, actually, you called in here. I answered the call, Rob.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Will you please quit calling me, and leave my phone alone?
 '''Larry:''' Rob! I did not call your line, I answered the line.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' OK?
 '''Larry:''' ''[They are talking over each other until the final line.]'' You know what, Rob?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know what you are, or who you are, and I don't really care..
 '''Larry:''' All right. You know what? I'ma just mark this as a refusal to pay, Rob.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' ...but you're invading my privacy, and you're cussin' at me, and I don't...
 '''Larry:''' ''[Unintelligible]'' refusal to pay.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What?
 ''[Exit music]''

==Chris calls the Ku Klux Klan==

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|jqHU_mfAcHU}}
</center>

====Transcript====
'''Receptionist:''' [cut off] -eadquarters.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening, sir, how are you?
 '''Receptionist:''' Good! What can we do for you?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I invite you to come- I invite you to write this down: 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Receptionist:''' And what would I be writing that down for?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What time do you think you can be by my place?
 '''Receptionist:''' I'm not sure if I'm coming to your place! Why should I come there?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian Weston Chandler. What time do you think you can be by my place?
 '''Receptionist:''' I think in about 30 seconds I'm gonna hang up if you don't explain to me what this is about.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic. I am Internet-famous for being the original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. What can I do to make up for that?
 '''Receptionist:''' Umm... you know, that and two cents will get you probably anywhere you want to go I guess, umm... I don't know why I should come to you. Uh, people come here. We have a national headquarters, we have a business here. And, uh, that's the way to go.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh, come on!
 '''Receptionist:''' Uh-huh. That's what I thought. Goodbye now!

==Chris calls PETA==

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|nwGhjfCYuq0}}
</center>

====Transcript====
'''Receptionist:''' Thank you for calling PETA.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening, sir, how are you?
 '''Receptionist:''' I'm a lady, but I'm good, how are you?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm doin' good. Oh, things have been great for me, you know, I just finished the dating episode, it is fantastic!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Receptionist:''' Wha- you did what?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good!
 '''Receptionist:''' Uh- I'm sorry, I really don't know what you're talking about, you're not making any sense.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian.
 '''Receptionist:''' Alright, that's cool. How can I help you?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I invite you to come- I invite you to write this down:
 '''Receptionist:''' You what-?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' 14 Branchland Court. Ruckersville.
 '''Receptionist:''' ...What?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You can find me right now, I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Receptionist:''' You need to turn your radio down or whatever you're screaming into, it's not working very well. I don't under- is there something I can help you with?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay. What is it, let me try to help you.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm 27. I'm currently living with my mother and my father. I'm high-functionally autistic.
 '''Receptionist:''' That's alright. I'm 28. I live on my own. I'm not autistic. But that's okay too, I mean do you have questions about animals?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes.
 '''Receptionist:''' Alright, what are they?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I've got a lot more experience than you could imagine.
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay. Experience for what?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' So, uh, did you get the comic pages I sent you?
 '''Receptionist:''' I don't know, um, we might've. We're a really- we're kind of a big organization and I don't really work in that department. Um...
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uh, who is this?
 '''Receptionist:''' Do what?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uh, who is this?
 '''Receptionist:''' This is a- this is the front desk.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Well, I'm speechless at the moment.
 '''Receptionist:''' So I would see, uh, I wouldn't see anything that you sent.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I am full of surprises!
 '''Receptionist:''' You- I know, you sound like it! That's exciting. I love surprises.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 '''Receptionist:''' Yep. Um, well, do you have any questions about anything or is there someone I can direct you to? Um...
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 '''Receptionist:''' [''giggles''] Okay, um, well, what are they?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic.
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay! Um... that's- that's cool. Um... that's alright. Um, do you have any questions about what's going on with animals or, I mean, you're calling PETA so I'm trying to get you through to the right person. I have a question.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm happy to oblige with an ans- with an honest answer.
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay. Why are you calling from a number that I get a lot of prank calls from?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' No.
 '''Receptionist:''' [''giggles'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I don't know!
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay, well, um, I am trying to help you out with answering some questions and if you don't have any I'm going to let you go, but when you do have some questions you could always call us back but we close, um, at, we close in about eight minutes.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I did not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
 '''Receptionist:''' No, I don't feel like you're crazy, I feel like maybe you just don't have, um, your questions together yet, so if you want to, you can put them together and then give us a call back!
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes, I agree with you, this is frustrating.
 '''Receptionist:''' It would be less frustrating for you. I can do this all day.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 '''Receptionist:''' Yeah. Okay, um, well, I'm gonna let you go, but have a lovely evening and, um, if you have any questions just feel free to give us a call back tomorrow and maybe at a better time, okay?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay, well you have a really good night, and, um, hopefully we'll be able to answer some questions soon, okay?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening.
 '''Receptionist:''' Alright, bye-bye.

==Chris Chan hates Frank Garrett==
A Troll using various prank victim soundboards calls Chris. Chris once again proves his low intelligence by [[fail|pretending to be his voicemail]].

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|oP9GFAU0nd4}}
</center>

====Transcript====
'''Chris:''' Hello I am un-un... I am unavailable to take your call right--
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Hello you Stupid Mother Fucker You! [--talking over Chris]
 '''Chris:''' Please call back later, goodbye.
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Well I don't give a shit!
 '''Jackass Plumber (soundboard):''' You sick bitch!
 [''redialed'']
 '''Chris:''' Didn't ya hear me? I said quit calling and call back another time!
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Who gives a shit?
 [''redialed'']
 '''Chris [Answering Machine]:''' Hello you have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler--
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Oh Fugg Kyew Fat Boy! [--talking over Chris]
 '''Chris [Answering Machine]:''' I'm sorry I can't answer right now but please-- (stops abruptly)
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Nobody's calling your number.
 [''Video end'']

==ThePCassassins - Call Bobby Chandler==
The PCassassins uploaded a video on September 21st 2010. The two individuals call up Bob and ask him only two questions before the conversation takes a turn for the worse. In the nine minutes that followed, we learned that Bob graduated from Auburn University, was an Eagle Scout and Scoutmaster for 20 years in the Boy Scouts, and that he is in fact a member of the Ku Klux Klan.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|dqguWuNuMi0}}
</center>

====Transcript====
''(trolls giggling; phone rings three times)''
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' Hello.
 '''Bob:''' Hello!
 '''Troll 1:''' Mr. Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Troll 1:''' This is Answer Me Sanchez.
 '''Bob:''' Who is Anthony Sanchez?
 '''Troll 1:''' No, ''Answer Me'' Sanchez! I’d like to, ah, ask you a few questions, if, ah, um, you wouldn’t mind.
 '''Bob:''' Well, I don’t know if I’ll give you any answers.
 '''Troll 1:''' Well, do the best you can, I guess. Number one, um: have you ever heard of a website called bangbus.com?
 '''Bob:''' No, I’m not on the Internet.
 '''Troll 1:''' Okay, um, two: What scares you more, a [[Niggos|black man]] living in your neighborhood, or a [[Homos|gay man]] living in your neighborhood?
 '''Bob:''' I don’t think that’s any of your business.
 '''Troll 1:''' Well, um, I um, am doing this for…research and statistics. And I, um…
 '''Bob:''' (interrupts) It’s still none of your business.
 '''Troll 1:''' What if, what if I had, uh, a hooker give you a blowjob?
 '''Bob:''' It’s none of your business. (pause) Just, just quit bothering my telephone and get the hell…
 '''Troll 2:''' (interrupts) Tell your son to stop drinking his semen!
 '''Troll 1:''' Wait, wait, Bob, okay, I’ll skip that question.
 '''Bob:''' You're, you’re just being an asshole, is what you're doing.
 '''Troll 2:''' Your son's an asshole!
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob, um, um, relax! All right, all right, that was an insensitive question. You’re right; let’s skip that.
 '''Bob:''' You got no reason to know that kind of stuff.
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob, relax, relax; take your medicine. And relax.
 '''Bob:''' I am relaxed, fella.
 '''Troll 1:''' Well, um, good, um.
 '''Bob:''' I’m sick and tired of you calling up on my telephone.
 '''Troll 1:''' I have no idea what you’re talking about. Bob, are you going senile?
 '''Barbara:''' ''(inaudible)''
 '''Troll 1:''' Nah, don't listen to [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]]! You - ugh, she has you pussy-whipped. Stop listenin' to her.
 '''Troll 2:''' Bob, man, you fought in Korea, man. Just listen to what my friend has to say and tell your wife to shut up.
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah, I mean, come on…
 '''Bob:''' If you guys would just go to college and…
 '''Troll 1:''' I am in college!
 '''Troll 2:''' I’m in college, too, and I’m actually doing something with my degree, unlike Chris!
 '''Bob:''' Try doing something constructive with your life.
 '''Troll 2:''' I am, unlike your son.
 '''Troll 1:''' That’s kind of ironic, given your son doesn’t do jack shit with his degree.
 '''Troll 2:''' Yeah! [[Honor roll|Honor rolls, my ass!]]
 '''Bob:''' I have my degree, fella.
 '''Troll 2:''' No, your son! Your retarded son who drinks semen!
 '''Troll 1:''' I'm not talkin' about you, I'm talkin' about your son. The one that drinks his own sperm?
 '''Troll 2:''' Yeah, eats [[McDonald's]]?
 '''Bob:''' He has his degree also.
 '''Troll 2:''' He doesn’t do nothin' with it, though.
 '''Troll 1:''' What’s he got with it? What’s he done with it?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn’t matter what he’s done with it, it's none of your fucking business.
 '''Troll 1:''' It does, 'cause you're telling us - 'cause you're telling us to go to college.
 '''Troll 2:''' Yeah, you're telling us to go to college, w - I wanna know what your son's done. What's he done?
 '''Bob:''' It’s none of your business.
 '''Troll 2:''' It is, 'cause he tells us on the Internet. It’s everybody’s business now.
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah!
 '''Bob:''' It’s none of your business. Why don’t you ''(inaudible, interruptions)'' quit bothering us, or I won’t answer your phone at all!
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(indistinct)'' Jesus, man.
 '''Troll 1:''' Okay, all right, you know what, let's skip that question since it's obvamously - um, it might make him [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit his pants]] and get - ''(stammers)'' Let's skip that question.
 '''Bob:''' Listen, fella -
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob…
 '''Bob:''' Hey.
 ''(repeat ad nauseam for several seconds as Bob and Troll 1 try to speak over each other)''
 '''Bob:''' I'm talkin'… I’m talkin' to you, listen, I’m talkin' to you…
 '''Troll 1:''' I'll get the stick!
 '''Bob:''' ''(amid interruptions from trolls)'' Listen to me, you, I'm talkin' to you! I’ll tell you what I want you to know, okay? First, I am a graduate engineer. Okay?
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(muttering)'' Oh my god.
 '''Bob:''' Second, I worked forty years for GE, and I retired from GE. Third, I served this country and this world by creating at least ten patents and automating a whole lot of industry with a whole lot of stuff that you couldn’t live without. I’ve done my service to man kind.
 '''Troll 2:''' What about your son?
 '''Bob:''' I’m an old man now and I want to be left in peace by you fuckers out there.
 '''Troll 2:''' Fuck you, you Klansman!
 '''Troll 1:''' I’ve listened to what you had to say and I…
 '''Troll 2:''' Fuckin' Klansman.
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(garbled, inaudible babbling)''
 '''Bob:''' Well, I’m telling you this, I also spent my time as a scoutmaster. Okay, I was an Eagle Scout. I spent my time for twenty years…
 '''Troll 2:''' Your son drinks his own semen, wears his mom’s underwear. He eats McDonald’s, he whacks off.
 '''Troll 1:''' Are you telling me you’re a damn… Bob?
 ''(more babbling)''
 '''Bob:''' When you get somethin' that you can tell me like that, then you call me back and tell me. Now you get your own life and stop botherin' mine. I can out-talk you any day of the week.
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(talking over Bob)'' My son will never drink his own semen. My son will never wear his mom’s underwear. My son will never live in my house when he’s twenty-eight years old. My son does not have the Snorlax for a mother.
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob, wait, hold on a second, relax. Everyone just relax. Bob, are you - you’re saying you’re a scout manager for [[Pedofork|NAMBLA]]?
 '''Bob:''' No, I’m saying I was a scout master.
 '''Troll 1:''' For NAMBLA, I got it…
 '''Bob:''' For a scout troop. A scout troop! You know!
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah, yeah, for NAMBLA, I got you.
 '''Bob:''' Boy Scouts!
 '''Troll 2:''' Auhh, totally NAMBLA!
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah, NAMBLA. ''(lots of stammering)'' Um, okay, I mean, like, how many years did you do that for, for NAMBLA?
 '''Bob:''' I was a scout master for almost 20 years.
 '''Troll 1:''' Twenty years in NAM - that’s real impressive, I’m really impressed.
 '''Bob:''' I have my Eagle Scout badge, which very few of you people out there have. Why don't you go get a life and get out there and do that kinda stuff too?
 '''Troll 2:''' The Scouts are gay. They’re as gay as your son.
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(nonsensical rambling)'' I think, you know, if I learn first-hand from someone that's experienced it, it might help me moreso in the real world, I mean, like, such as yourself. I mean, like, twenty years in NAMBLA -
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty, I'm - y'know, I would be embarrassed, if I were you -
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(interrupting)'' I would be embarrassed to drink my own semen.
 '''Bob:''' - y'gotta call up people and say "Look," y'know, "I’ve done so-and-so," when you haven’t done crap. Now you can't tell me any one thing you've done.
 '''Troll 1:''' Like your son, right?
 '''Troll 2:''' Well, your son drinks his own cum and wears his mom’s underwear.
 '''Bob:''' I don’t care, we’re talking about me and we’re talking about my phone.
 '''Troll 1:''' What about your phone? I…
 '''Bob:''' This is my phone number, this is my phone that you’re bothering, and I'm sick and tired of it.
 '''Troll 2:''' Chris gave us your number.
 '''Troll 1:''' I-I just said that - I was just askin' you 'bout, what - your 20 years in NAMBLA, and you were talk - talkin' to me 'bout that, I was just sayin' like - uh, so what'd you do after?
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you get something that you can brag about rather than tryin' to harass people all the time?
 '''Troll 1:''' 'Cause I don’t brag, that's, that’s not my nature.
 '''Bob:''' Well, that's fine. So all you can do is harass and bully, right?
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(randomly interjects)'' Stop living in a house full of clutter!
 '''Troll 1:''' I'm not ''harassing and bullying''. I'm just asking you a question. You're just getting mad and, y'know -
 '''Bob:''' Y'know I have friends in the Klu Klux Klan. [''sic'']
 '''Troll 2:''' Oh my god, you're a fuckin' Na - oh ho ho! Holy shit!
 '''Bob:''' Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
 '''Troll 2:''' I’m so glad we’re recording this.
 '''Troll 1:''' Are you part of the KKK yourself?
 '''Bob:''' I was born and ra - I was raised in Alabama, so take your own judgment from that, fella.
 '''Troll 2:''' Holy ''shit!''
 '''Bob:''' I went to school at [[Wikipedia:Auburn High School (Alabama)|Auburn's]]. It's in the heart of the Deep South, so you can take your, you can take your whatevers from that.
 ''(excited gibbering from trolls)''
 '''Troll 1:''' So, from my understanding, you said you went to Auburn, right?
 '''Bob:''' That’s right, I graduated there.
 '''Troll 1:''' All right. So you’re telling me that most people who graduated from Auburn are in the KKK?
 '''Bob:''' No, but I’m saying that a lot of them are. It’s in the heart of the Deep South.
 '''Troll 1:''' Well, I just said "most people," but okay, yeah... So, I mean, what -
 '''Bob:''' I’ve seen crosses burning, fella. I've seen 'em. And you don’t wanna see it.
 '''Troll 1:''' Is Chris part of the KKK?
 '''Bob:''' You don't wanna see it.
 '''Troll 2:''' Wait, wait, wait - are ''you'' a member of the KKK, though, Bob?
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah. Yeah. All right.
 '''Bob:''' I won’t say whether I am or not. If I had, I’d come up and see if I've got a white, uh, hood to put on.
 '''Troll 2:''' Okay, Bob, all right, we’re just asking you a simple question.
 '''Bob:''' Okay? Okay? Now get off my damn case and get a life for yourself.
 '''Troll 2:''' My [[niggo|black]] girlfriend's gonna hate me for that.
 '''Bob:''' Stop bein' a sad, pathetic individual.
 '''Troll 2:''' Like your son, Bob?
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob -
 '''Bob:''' It doesn’t matter, we’re not talking about my son.
 '''Troll 2:''' ''I’m'' talking about your son.
 '''Bob:''' We’re talking about me, and we’re talking about you.
 '''Troll 1:''' This is a big confrontation. (???) So when you tell us to get a life, why don’t you take those words and tell that to your son, instead of other people, when we’re just trying to ask you questions and learn about life ourselves?
 '''Troll 2:''' Why you gotta get so hostile?
 '''Bob:''' My son has a life.
 '''Troll 2:''' Whatever happened to [[Megan]]?
 '''Troll 1:''' [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']]’s not a life, man!
 '''Bob:''' My son’s a hell of a lot more creative than you are.
 '''Troll 2:''' That’s why we’re talking to you and he doesn’t talk to you. Get it?
 '''Troll 1:''' He says he doesn’t get along with you that well, so…
 '''Troll 2:''' That’s what he puts on his website.
 '''Bob:''' He gets along with me fine.
 '''Troll 2:''' Not on his [[YouTube]] page.
 '''Bob:''' Why don’t you get a life so you can come back and prove me that you’re capable and good enough to talk to me? I have helped my fellow man, and I have helped 'em for forty or fifty years.
 '''Troll 2:''' You kinda failed at that.
 '''Bob:''' ''(apparently misunderstanding)'' To hell with that? Yeah, to hell with that.
 '''Troll 2:''' You've failed.
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you go out and get a life and leave me in peace?
 '''Troll 2:''' I have one, I’m fucking my black girlfriend every night. I have a black girlfriend! I'm happy!
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob, tell me something. Do you know what the Pythagorean Theorem is?
 '''Bob:''' I sure do.
 '''Troll 1:''' What is it?
 '''Bob:''' It’s for me to know and you to find out, my friend.
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(inaudible)'' - bachelor's degree.
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(sudden rage)'' You dumbass! What is it? It’s A squared plus B squared equals C squared!
 '''Troll 2:''' HA! Check and mate.
 '''Troll 1:''' ''Gosh'', Bob! Failed, right there. ''(stammering)'' Do you know anything about the Golden Ratio?
 '''Bob:''' Listen, fella, I have ten patents. In the realms of industrial automation.
 '''Troll 1:''' I don't care about your rim jobs in the freaking -
 '''Bob:''' I helped, I helped to design and, and, and create the computer.
 '''Troll 2:''' No you didn’t!
 '''Bob:''' I helped design and create and put the [[Wikipedia:International Space Station|intercontinental mission in space]].
 '''Troll 2:''' No you didn’t!
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(indistinct)'' - NAMBLA stickers on your computer?
 '''Bob:''' Now when you can say something like that, you can call me back. Until then, shut your fucking mouth and get off my phone.
 '''Troll 2:''' Epic fuckin' failure.
 '''Troll 1:''' Hey Bob. Hey Bob. What would you say that ''(indistinct)'' I'm a multi-millionaire?
 ''(Bob hangs up.)''
 '''Troll 2:''' [[Slow-in-the-minds|He hung up, man.]] Oh my god!
 '''Troll 1:''' That was fucking awesome.
 '''Troll 2:''' Dude, man, we got him fucking admitting he’s a part of the KKK!
 '''Troll 1:''' Dude, upload that shit ''now''!
 '''Troll 2:''' Got it! [[Speech impediment|I'm a - I'm got - got - m'kay]] - got it. Got it.

[[Category:Phone calls]]

User:Cogsdev/Sandbox

2010-09-07T10:44:44Z

Notslowpoke: fixin' dates

{{merge|List of Videos}}
{{Video icon key}}
<div style="width:100%">
{| class="wikitable sortable" 
!style="width:65%"|Title
!style="width:7.5%"|Date
!style="width:7.5%"|Subject
!style="width:7.5%"|Style
!style="width:7.5%"|Saga
!style="width:2.5%"|Shirt
!style="width:2.5%"|Other
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]
|Date = 1994-02-26
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Christian wins a contest held in 1993 to promote the Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon. Chris is one of the two grand prize winners, who each won a $1000 video game shopping spree.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Song of Christian]]
|Date = 1998-05-15
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Rage}}
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Leaked}}
|Description = The first recorded video by the autistic man himself. Inside, Christian presents his poem, and talk about a few issues in his early life. Notice the video has a creepy black & white tone to it.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
|Date = 1998-06-04
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Leaked}}
|Description = Using a Game Boy camera, Chris tries and fails to make a stop-motion animaton using his legos.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = Chris Chan in the PokéNews
|Date = 1999-10-06
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Leaked}}
|Description = Christian makes the local news for a brief second.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]
|Date = 2001-07-12
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Leaked}}
|Description = Chris films a tour of CWCville on his Game Boy camera.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Animal Crossing Documentary]]
|Date = 2003-11-22
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris dedicates a whole hour giving tours of his two towns in Animal Crossing.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]
|Date = 2004-06-07
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Leaked}}
|Description = Chris makes an anniversary tribute to his two parents in Animal Crossing and provides a valuable background to his parents and how they met in a bar.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[So Need a Cute Girl]]
|Date = 2004-12-20
|Subject = {{Music}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris sings the first track of Christian and the Hedgehog Boys.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]
|Date = 2005-02-24
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Comedy}}
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Christian enters a competition and attempts to make a commercial for the Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law Vol. 1 DVD set.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Pixelated PS3]]
|Date = 2006-11-28
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Comedy}}
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris enters a Robot Chicken competition, "What would you for a PS3?".
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = C.W.C.'s SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics
|Date = 2007-02-24
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Leaked}}
|Description = A slideshow of his Sonichu Scrapbook and his family photos.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]
|Date = 2007-02-24
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Reason}}
|Saga =
|Shirt = {{ClassicShirt}}
|Leak =
|Description = In celebration of his milestone 25th birthday, Chris pro-actively delivers his manifesto, and also summarises the lessons he has learned in his life and how they should be applied.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]
|Date = 2007-06
|Subject = {{Music}}
|Performance = {{Comedy}}
|Saga = {{Stackhouse}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris does a rap for PaRappa the Rapper's Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown competition. Adam Stackhouse wins.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[CWC is Angry]]
|Date = 2007-08
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Rage}}
|Saga = {{Stackhouse}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris shoots a photo of Adam Stackhouse to prove how angry he is.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]
|Date = 2007-11-07
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Reason}}
|Saga = {{ED}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = In the first YouTube video posted by Christian since the launch of his Encyclopedia Dramatica page, Christian assumes the ED contributors have simply misunderstood him and his work, and attempts to re-introduce himself so that things can start over on the right foot.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Soul Calibur|Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]
|Date = 2007-05-01
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Direct Feed}}
|Description = Watch Chris fight Mary Lee Walsh badly in Soul Calibur III. He threatened to beat [[Evan]] like this if he kept sending him gay art.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]
|Date = 2008-08-03
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Rage}}
|Saga = {{ED}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = After months of trying to either ignore or edit the Encyclopedia Dramatica page, Christian explodes with fury in this video.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008]]
|Date = 2008-08-06
|Subject = {{Comics}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{ED}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris, believing that a vast online Sonichu fan base exists to serve as his personal army, addresses only those Sonichu fans who do not hate him, telling them to send hate e-mail to Jason Kendrick Howell until the Encyclopedia Dramatica page is deleted, so that he can work on Sonichu comics in peace.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008]]
|Date = 2008-08-08
|Subject = {{Comics}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{ED}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Christian realises that Encyclopedia Dramatica is down, and commands his followers to withhold donations for a new server. To sweeten the deal he provides a sneak preview of the long-awaited Sonichu 7.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008]]
|Date = 2008-08-15
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{ED}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = In this video Chris concedes that Encyclopedia Dramatica has successfully raised the funds needed to remain operation, despite his best efforts, although he does not really admit failure in his campaign.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 28th, 2008]]
|Date = 2008-08-28
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris makes an extra long video to discuss the upcoming Sonichu video game by JK Productions, which, he would later discover was an elaborate prank.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 11th, 2008]]
|Date = 2008-09-11
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Tragedy}}
|Saga = {{Blanca}}{{Hill}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris realises Blanca is a troll after nudes are leaked. He also asks his fans not to buy the fake Jimmy Hill merchandise.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008]]
|Date = 2008-09-13
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Blanca}}{{Hill}}{{Miyamoto}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris now insists that Blanca is real and not responsible for tricking him. Chris goes on to inform his fans of bootleg Sonichu merchandise sold by Jimmy Hill, and calls for a boycott. Chris also gives an update on the progress of the Sonichu video game.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008]]
|Date = 2008-09-24
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Stackhouse}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = After nearly two weeks of near-total silence following the 9/11 attacks, Christian decides it is necessary to assure his fans that he has not committed suicide. He also implores his fans not to persecute Adam Stackhouse, as Christian himself has found it in his heart to forgive him for cheating in the Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown contest.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[We're Being Watched]]
|Date = 2008-10-08
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Blanca}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris attempts to mimic Aeon Flux stating that Blanca was real.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008]]
|Date = 2008-10-09
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Blanca}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Christian issues a statement regarding the revelation that the trolls acting as Blanca have obtained his Sonichu medallion. He admits to having sent Blanca the medallion, but claims she has already returned it and that he has modified it to make it more difficult for trolls to make unofficial copies.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008]]
|Date = 2008-10-13
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Hill}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris instructs fans to look out for Sonichu characters on Little Big Planet and reiterates that the Jimmy Hill merchandise is not official.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008]]
|Date = 2008-10-21
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Tragedy}}
|Saga = {{Blanca}}{{Hill}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Christian issues a statement on Blanca breaking up with him over the photo of himself wearing his mother's underwear. He also takes time to complain about rickyricardo123 stealing his medallion and Jimmy Hill plagiarizing his Sonichu.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008]]
|Date = 2008-10-27
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Panda}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = In an effort to get the heart-shattered Chris back in the mood to draw comics and post videos, the #sonichu chatroom convinced him to do a Q&A session, answering questions from his fans. This clip is perhaps best remembered for Christian's mockery of trolls who act like girls, which is ironic coming from a man who has worn his mother's underwear.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Guitar Hero|Sonichu and Chris Chan in Guitar Hero World Tour]]
|Date = 2008-10-27
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Direct Feed}}
|Description = Chris uploaded a video showing off his custom Sonichu crap that he added to the game and plays Heartbreaker terribly.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[LittleBigPlanet videos|Sonichu Episode 1 LittleBIGPlanet Level]]
|Date = 2008-10-27
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Direct Feed}}
|Description = Chris presents his very first look at the Sonichu level he created based on the events of Episode 1 of his comics.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[LittleBigPlanet videos|Sonichu EP1 LBP Level Race]]
|Date = 2008-10-28
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Direct Feed}}
|Description = This video demonstrates a feature in the Sonichu level where the user can unlock a race mode, requiring the player to complete the level within a three-minute time limit.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[LittleBigPlanet videos|A New Sonichu EP1 LBP Level Secret]]
|Date = 2008-10-29
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Direct Feed}}
|Description = This video is a re-upload of the 27 October one, with no new secret revealed in the footage. Chris may have been trying to gain the attention of a LPB forum by reuploading.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[LittleBigPlanet videos|CWC's Aqua Teen Hunger Force-Styled Burgertime Level]]
|Date = 2008-11-14
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Direct Feed}}
|Description = Chris plays through his intensely dull remake of Burgertime with no commentary. Note that by now Sackboy is dressed as Sonichu.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[LittleBigPlanet videos|CWC's Sonichu Costume for Sackboy]]
|Date = 2008-11-14
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Direct Feed}}
|Description = Chris shows off the Sonichu skin he has made, and demonstrates how to recreate it.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[LittleBigPlanet videos|CWC's LittleBiGPlanet Collector's Case]]
|Date = 2008-11-14
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Direct Feed}}
|Description = For the first time in three weeks Chris's voice is heard on the YouTube as he explains his collector's case concept. Being an autistic packrat, Chris greedily hoards every single prize he creates of obtains in LittleBigPlanet, far beyond the expectations of the game's designers.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[LittleBigPlanet videos|CWC's Personal LBP Collector's Case]]
|Date = 2008-11-14
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Direct Feed}}
|Description = Chris shows off his own personal collector's case based on the template he explained in the previous video.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[PS3 History Level]]
|Date = 2008-11-24
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Direct Feed}}
|Description = An advertisement/walkthrough of his entry to the LittleBigChallenge, detailing the history of the PlayStation 3 and its impact on his personal life.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]
|Date = 2008-12-28
|Subject = {{Comics}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Clyde}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008 is Chris's first video log in over two months to thank his fans for helping him win a gift card in the GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes, offers condolences to the family of Ryan Cash, and vows to complete the long-awaited Spring Break story for Sonichu 8.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-01-06
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Miyamoto}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Christian announces that a deal has been made with Nintendo of America to introduce Sonichu and Rosechu as characters in the new Animal Crossing: City Folk game, although he seems to believe that early versions of these characters have somehow escaped into the internet.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-01-08
|Subject = {{Website}}
|Performance = {{Rage}}
|Saga = {{Clyde}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Christian issues a statement announcing the hacking of sonichu.net by Gregg Mays, demanding that the site be restored.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-01-12
|Subject = {{Homos}}
|Performance = {{Reason}}
|Saga = {{Clyde}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Frustrated with accusations that he is gay, Chris attempts to set the record straight once and for all. He holds up a relatively tame picture of Britney Spears, apparently thinking that owning magazines with sexy photos of women in them is proof of his heterosexuality.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-01-15
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Miyamoto}}{{ED}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Possibly under pressure from Shigeru Miyamoto and Reggie Fils-Aimé, Christian uploads this video to deny his page on Encyclopedia Dramatica as officially as possible. He also forbids everyone from looking at it.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san]]
|Date = 2009-01-17
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Miyamoto}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = During his talks with Shigeru Miyamoto to produce his own line of video games, Christian hits a snag when Miyamoto jumps to the conclusion that he is talking to a troll and not the real Christian Weston Chandler.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-01-18
|Subject = {{Homos}}
|Performance = {{Rage}}
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Christian issues a scathing statement concerning hackers who used his email account to send messages to dozens of people saying Christian has come out of the closet. He denies this outrageous claim and proves his heterosexuality by stomping on the vibrator he has owned for years.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]]
|Date = 2009-01-19
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Reason}}
|Saga = {{Clyde}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Christian begs Clyde Cash to stop torturing him for revenge over his brother's suicide. He suggests Clyde just get over it, and compares the death of Ryan cash to the death of his dog.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-01-21
|Subject = {{Website}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Christian announces that sonichu.info, the site he created just days ago following the hacking of sonichu.net has also been hacked. He promises his fans (especially the female ones) that he will restore his true website soon.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-01-26
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Miyamoto}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = After weeks of talking about collaborating with Shigeru Miyamoto, Christian disappeared from the internet for several days around the time that he was scheduled to meet with Miyamoto in Redmond, Washington. Speculation grew that Christian was actually attempting to make this cross-country journey, until he finally posted this video, claiming to have just returned. Somehow you can just tell he hasn't even left his house since his last video.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 30th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-01-30
|Subject = {{Homos}}
|Performance = {{Rage}}
|Saga = {{Miyamoto}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris retracts his January 26 statement about having flown to Nintendo of America headquarters to meet Shigeru Miyamoto. He also angrily responds to Reggie Fils-Aimé and his complaint about a panty shot in Chris's PowerPoint presentation, a complaint Chris distorts into false allegations of nudity and characterizes as a general opposition to heterosexuality.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 31st, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-01-31
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Miyamoto}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris retracts his 30 January retraction of his 26 January retraction, and apologizes for his unprofessional behavior toward Shigeru Miyamoto and Reggie Fils-Aimé. He then begs and pleads for Miyamoto and Fils-Aimé to merely postpone the Sonichu video game project indefinitely, rather than cancel it outright.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-02-05
|Subject = {{Homos}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Julie}}{{Clyde}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Threatening Julie with harm, Clyde Cash demanded that Chris come out of the closet on YouTube in exchange for her safety. Ambivalent about how to handle the situation, Chris posts a video in which he filibusters for nearly three minutes and finally declares himself to be a "Gaybian".
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-02-06
|Subject = {{Homos}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Julie}}{{Clyde}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Christian explains why he had to make the two videos suggesting that he was gay, in order to satisfy an agreement with Clyde Cash. He then attempts to honor another agreement with Clyde by destroying his vibrator.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-02-08
|Subject = {{Homos}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Julie}}{{Panda}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = In this video, Chris briefly recaps his previous videos, announces a new website, and speculates that PandaHalo may have been killed in the Australian Bushfires.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-02-10
|Subject = {{Video games}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Julie}}{{Miyamoto}}{{Clyde}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris shows off his bedroom floor, in a bid to demonstrate to Clyde Cash that he has fulfilled his end of their agreement. Chris then follows up by reading a letter from Nintendo of America, responding to his private query about his negotiations with Shigeru Miyamoto.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]
|Date = 2009-02-17
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-02-18
|Subject = {{Homos}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris opens by explaining that he's just finished filming a dedication for one of his sweetest Sonichu Girls. He doesn't name this female fan, but it's nevertheless clear that he's referring to Sarah May. Chris goes on to apologize for having ever said that he hates all gays.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[For Julie's Eyes Only]]
|Date = 2009-02-20
|Subject = {{Sex}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Julie}}
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Leaked}}
|Description = JULAYYYY
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Ode to Julie]]
|Date = 2009-02-23
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Julie}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-03-04
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Tragedy}}
|Saga = {{Julie}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris, visibly distraught after the outing of Julie, explains that he has been under a lot of stress lately. He tells his fans to not believe the trolls, and yet, they shouldn't believe him, since he's not wearing his medallion.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-03-10
|Subject = {{Homos}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris sees the March 8 episode of Family Guy, "Family Gay" in which Peter Griffin becomes homosexual and Stewie cites Leviticus 18:22 in opposition of this development.In other developments, Chris is hard at work on a new Sonichu medallion, and he publicly announces that he is withdrawing from the internet as a front in his Love Quest.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie]]
|Date = 2009-03-12
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Apology to Emily]]
|Date = 2009-03-16
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]
|Date = 2009-03-16
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris apologizes to the The GAMe PLACe for his douchebaggery. As Chris notes in the video's info, "it's been OVER 9 Months." Why is he only saying sorry now? (SPOILER: Because he wanted those Eye of Judgement cards)
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-03-18
|Subject = {{Video games}}{{Comics}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris explains a few recent happenings, or lack thereof. He expresses his hope that he'll win some Eye of Judgment tournament and get some special cards. He then goes on to make excuses for his predictable delays in turning out any new comic pages, and he makes a brief shout-out to Ivy.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]
|Date = 2009-03-20
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]]
|Date = 2009-03-26
|Subject = {{Music}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris makes a "music video" to the song "Holding Out For a Hero" for Ivy. He also shows off new comic pictures in the process.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-03-26
|Subject = {{Comics}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris threatens to withhold comics from his fans if trolls refuse to leave Megan alone.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Tour of Chris's House]]
|Date = 2009-03-27
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-03-27
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Rage}}
|Saga = {{Ivy}}{{Clyde}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Outraged over the leaking of secret information that he undoubtedly freely distributed to some stranger on the internet, Chris blows his stack and expresses his outrage in the only outlet he has--yelling empty threats and dirty words on the YouTube.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Chris Sings Lovin' You]]
|Date = 2009-03-29
|Subject = {{Music}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = In what is perhaps Chris's creepiest video to date, Chris delivers a short speech to Ivy and shows a few pictures. Chris's poor rendition of Lovin' You is sung in the background throughout.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora]]
|Date = 2009-03-30
|Subject = {{Music}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Christian gives a prepared speech about the importance of flatulence, and then sings about farting.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]
|Date = 2009-03-30
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Rage}}
|Saga = {{Clyde}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Christian rages against his ED page, and then abuses a doll with a picture of Clyde Cash attached to its face.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Secret Weapon]]
|Date = 2009-03-30
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Comedy}}
|Saga = {{Clyde}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris makes fun of Clyde Cash based on his "mugshot" (actually a picture of Lee Hotti).
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[YouTube Finale]]
|Date = 2009-03-30
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Clyde}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris calls out to Clyde Cash again, threatening to beat him up. At the same time, he decides to withdraw from the YouTube scene... for now.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-04-09
|Subject = {{Website}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris posts his video on his new YouTube account, a week after saying he's leaving YouTube. He also announces his new website, http://www.cwcville.com.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate Easter Sunday, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-04-12
|Subject = {{Website}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris announces the recent changes to cwcville.com, and lets his sweetheart Ivy know that he loves her.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[The Return of Kimmi]]
|Date = 2009-04-12
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Bunny Hop]]
|Date = 2009-04-12
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[More for the crabs]]
|Date = 2009-04-12
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[ACWCAudition]]
|Date = 2009-04-16
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Comedy}}
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Leaked}}
|Description = Chris video tapes himself in an audition with "Vanessa Hudgens".
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[April 16 Fetish Vids]]
|Date = 2009-04-16
|Subject = {{Sex}}
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Leaked}}
|Description = Three videos that were leaked, showing Chris drinking his own semen, spanking himself, and dancing naked in the shower.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-04-17
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Tragedy}}
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = Chris apologizes to Ivy for cheating on her with Vanessa Hudgens with complete insincerity.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]]
|Date = 2009-04-17
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 23rd, 2009]]
|Date = 2009-04-23
|Subject =
|Performance = {{Rage}}
|Saga = {{Clyde}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description = After a nearly week-long silence, Chris finally speaks up again, this time calling out Clyde Cash.
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"]]
|Date = 2009-04-24
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[MEOW]]
|Date = 2009-05-02
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[ShutUpBrain and WakeUpBrain]]
|Date = 2009-04-30
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[For My Sweetest Ivy]]
|Date = 2009-05-01
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Ivy}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]]
|Date = 2009-05-02
|Subject = {{Homos}}
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters]]
|Date = 2009-05-20
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Chris's Big Night Out]]
|Date = 2009-06-12
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Live}}
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[I'm Sorry, Dude]]
|Date = 2009-06-15
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[For G4s Web Soup]]
|Date = 2009-07-02
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Chris's Big Night Out II]]
|Date = 2009-07-12
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Live}}
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[McIntire Park|NBC 29 McIntire Park]]
|Date = 2009-07-22
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Live}}
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[For Kacey from CWC]]
|Date = 2009-08-04
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Liquid}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]]
|Date = 2009-08-04
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Liquid}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[McIntire Park|City Counsil Meeting McIntire Park]]
|Date = 2009-08-17
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak = {{Live}}
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[CWCFighter]]
|Date = 2009-08-18
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Brutal Legend]]
|Date = 2009-10-18
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[Brutal Legend Plus]]
|Date = 2009-10-21
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga =
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
{{ListEntry
|Title = [[I Love You Kacey]]
|Date = 2009-10-23
|Subject =
|Performance =
|Saga = {{Liquid}}
|Shirt =
|Leak =
|Description =
}}
|}
</div>

User:Notslowpoke

2010-09-05T05:20:33Z

Notslowpoke:

I lurk.
When I do edit, it's to fix typos, grammatical errors, and wiki formatting.
I'm DrV on Rizon.

That's about it.

Tobacky

2010-09-05T02:09:39Z

Notslowpoke:

[[File:100 0695.JPG|thumb|NO SMOKING and [[Love Quest|WANT WOMAN!]] - two of Chris's [[Cherokee|war cries]]]]
[[Image:Tobacco.jpg|thumb|left|A [[niggo]] harvests some tobacky.]]

'''Tobacky''', also known as '''tobacco''', is an agricultural product that contains a powerful stimulant and is commonly smoked to deliver a smooth, easy taste, which people like [[Chris]] complain about, but a little-known fact is that it can also be snuffed (snorted like cocaine), or chewed and comically spat in nostalgic '70s/'80s baseball movies.

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] hates tobacky almost as much as he hates [[homos]]. If he could, he would send every last ounce of tobacky on a rocket to the [[The Moon|''motherfucking moon'']].

One of the prerequisites for a [[sweetheart]] that Chris has never veered from is that his TRUE sweetheart be "smoke-free", or rather a non-smoker like himself. Strangely, despite being a ''[[Family Guy]]'' fan, he fails to understand Lois Griffin's sage wisdom: "If she smokes, she [[hanky panky|pokes]]."

However, he would probably just [[Chris's Big Night Out|throw his morals out]] if a sexy [[galpal]] offered him a smoke.
{{clear}}

==Chris on tobacky==
In an [[ED]] edit from 10 November [[2007]], Chris said:
{{quote|He [Chris] also talks about how he wants to take every ounce of "tobacky" (said that way, because he felt uncomfortable saying the actual fucking word) and shoot it to the moon.}}

In his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|Q&A video]], Chris stated that tobacco and alcohol importation is the most severe crime in [[CWCville]] and warrants "ten years or fifteen hundred dollar fine." In short, importing cigarettes is apparently worse than rape, theft, murder, or even being a homo in CWCville.

In an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from 02 [[January 2009]], Chris explains why the moon and not the sun:
{{quote|I have given thought of sending the tobacco to the Sun, but then the smell from all that would likely emit from the giant star and stink up our Galaxy, possibly shortening the lifespan not only around our world, but the other 8 planets as well.|Chris, IRC, 02 Jan 2009, 12:17}}

For someone who claimed to have an IQ of "over 300" later in the aforementioned chat, it is odd that he has not put very much thought to this matter, as even people with rudimentary knowledge of astronomy and space travel will no doubt see several immediate problems with this scenario. The Sun has a very large mass compared to rockets that can be plausibly (and safely) constructed and launched from Earth. Any objects hitting the Sun would need corresponding escape velocity to escape the Sun's gravitational well. Chris's plan hinges on the fact that the tobacky has been sent to the Sun for the purpose of destruction, so we can safely assume the rocket itself is not meant to survive the collision with the star and is not meant to make a return trip (highly unfeasible given the state of technology). The masses of tobacky, which obviously lack any form of propulsion themselves, would be safely incinerated in the Sun's surface. A simple illustration: on Earth, an average cigarette burns at temperatures between 400 °C to 700 °C. The surface of the Sun is 5,510 °C.

As for the Sun's capability to burn the Earth's tobacky reserves, even a layman can easily grasp the concept of why the answer is a resounding ''yes'': The Sun's mass is about 332,900 times that of Earth's; Earth is just a tiny ball of rock, the Sun is a giant inferno of flaming hydrogen and helium. You can drop all of Earth's pesky tobacky reserves ''and the entire Earth along with it'' in the Sun ''very'' comfortably and no one will notice a thing. (Well, apart of the folks on Earth.) We can thus conclude that not only is the Sun effective at burning up tobacky, it is also good at containing the smoke within its enormous gravitational field.

Chris may have been thinking of the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_wind solar wind] phenomenon, but solar wind does ''not'' carry full-blown molecules (on which the stink and harmful health effects of tobacco are based); solar wind is a stream of plasma — electrons and protons. Even solar wind would have little effect on "our Galaxy", because there are not even ''other stars'' within the Sun's heliopause. Also, sadly, there are currently only eight planets in the solar system following the 2008 IAU resolution on definition of a planet, never mind the fact that there is no evidence of anything currently living on them that could have its lifespan shortened. And even if it were feasible for the tobacco molecules to go out that far, the distance is so great they likely would have become too diffuse to cause a noticeable difference in the vacuum of space.

Which is a very long way of saying that Chris is so ridiculously stupid that he doesn't realize that smell is not a pseudo-physical phenomenon and is simply a trait of molecules, and is therefore affected by gravity. That, and that he doesn't realize the galaxy is, y'know, big.

And we haven't even mentioned anything about the sheer hilarity of the scenario of trying to send all tobacco supplies into space in the first place!

tl;dr: Chris fails at [[honor roll|(highly basic)]] astrophysics forever.

==See also==
*[[Alcohol]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Template:Chris and text

2010-09-03T23:33:32Z

Notslowpoke:

Talk:The MovingFoward videos

2010-08-30T00:52:46Z

Notslowpoke:

Transcribing this one presently... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 17:27, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

What account did he upload this on?--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 17:42, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
*he didn't upload it, trolls did --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 17:42, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

:Um, wow... Destroying his life upgrade? This has to be the work of an external source, no way in hell Chris would do this on his own... I'm guessing either Rocky or Snorlax and the lumber jack. I'm gonna hold off on commenting any further until new information is gleaned.--[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 17:46, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

How did the trolls get ahold of this video...obviously an inside job if he sent it to some trolls "I'll have sex with you if you destroy your ps3" Our tax dollars will buy him another one however...I wonder if he will still use the Sonichu ID?
Am stupid question i know but why the fuck doesn't he just connect the HDD to his computer and run a data recovery application ? --[[User:Hdl6h3g|Hdl6h3g]] 17:52, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

::Wow, this is a bit extreme, even for Chris. I would be surprised if he thought of doing this on his own. [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 17:52, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW

2010-08-27T19:02:01Z

Notslowpoke: Apologies for multiple edits, I keep catching stuff

[[Image:Picture 2.png|thumb|Chris, being one of the "Classmate Spotlights" on the MHS page of AlumniClass.com, proving that he may actually be doing something to get a reunion]]

'''EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW''' is a video in which [[Chris]] informs his <s>[[fanbase]]</s> former classmates that he wishes to organize a [[Manchester High School]] reunion very soon, seemingly unaware both that his organizational skills lack the capacity to plan a good prom and that a reunion for his year already has been planned and he was deliberately not invited.

After his plea, Chris goes on to claim that divine retribution is coming for the [[trolls]], tells an [[Random-access humor|unfunny joke]] about his visibly growing girth and gives advice on how to avoid being trolled. The best part is where he urges the viewers to keep their private information off the internet only ''moments'' after giving out his [[Christian Weston Chandler|real name]], [[14 Branchland Court|full street address]] and [[Prank calls|phone number]] ''yet again''. Chris also claims to be a "Trollbuster", part of a mysterious and unknown group [[Chris and his Ego|working worldwide to stop trolling and cyberbullying]].

The video came after three months of radio silence from Chris, but, aside from a [[hair]]line that has receded quite a bit, it is clear that nothing about him has changed except for his [[Chris and fashion|wardrobe]].

==Tags==
{{quotebox|surfing school [[education]] [[internet]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|safety]] [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|exclusive]] [[A CWC Audition|leak]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|leaked]] reunion class [[2000]] y2k}}

== Video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gQ-dpgxZruI}}
| stardate = 27 August 2010
| subject =
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = Manchester Class of 2000 T-shirt
| previous = [[June062010.MOV]]
| next = Current
}}

== Transcript ==

''The video opens with Chris holding a digitally edited picture of the rear of his [[ModNation Racers]] School Bus shakily in front of the camera for approximately nine seconds. The bus has "[[Chris and his Ego|CWC]]" splashed across the top, with a license plate "[[USA]]" in red, white and blue. When he finally speaks, he is holding up a Manchester High Yearbook much as he once held [[It's UGH!|Optimus Prime]]. His tone is wistful and nostalgic.''

Hello. I am well known on the [[Internet]], sadly. I am Christian Weston Chandler of... Ruckersville, Virginia. I was a Manchester High School student, graduated class of 2000. [''brief pause, [[Pedo-glasses|dramatic glasses removal]]''] Aaand, I am looking into having the reunion... or putting it together. Because I have not heard from anyone about it... not even from the principal of Manchester High. Of which... so in that- so with that I-... I am looking to- I am looking out... I am looking out to everyone, to... all, to my class- to my 2000 class mates... we know who you are and I know who you are, got your names-

[''Chris slaps the cover with his hand. His tone becomes particularly wistful at this point.'']
[[Image:Names.PNG|thumb|A CWC classmate's nightmare.]]
-got your names in the year book, in the... senior year book. In my class. I have have been looking forward to this r-reunion... since the [[senior prom]], where at the end of that slideshow... it said "See you in ten years [[speech impediment|flguh]] the reunion". [''Chris's face becomes somber.''] The reunion hasn't happened yet. [''Chris displays a partially complete [[Claw of Fail]], imploringly gesturing at the camera much as he did towards [[The Wallflower]]. His face is pained.''] And it HAS to happen. It was basically promised... [''Chris pauses.''] ... not only to me, but to everyone who was at that prom. So this reunion has to happen and I'm going to start it by... reaching out t- reaching out to my classmates. Espe- and also, it would be helpful if I can also... get in contact with those who put together the senior prom... back in 2000.

So with that I urge- I urge, uh... you- all you indivuals... the people who put together prom, AND my classmates, to contact me, Christian Weston Chandler... at [[14 Branchland Court]], Ruckersville Virginia, 22968, or by telephone... at 434-990-0198. [''pause''] Again, that's 434-990-0198. [''pause''] [[Trolls|False identities]] will be... discarded... so be sure yer... leave a message, describe- telling us your naaame, where you are right now and your contact information. Basically your phone number. I will not accept e-mail... contact. Which- Because of... because of the [[trolls]] of which brings up my next- my other topic which I would like to address as well.

Cyber-bullying and trolling. It's all not cool, cuz you're just basically.. [[Surfshack Tito|mocking]] and... [[4-cent garbage|terrorizing]]... innocent people. It's not good. Not cool. Not cool. [''pause''] You don't want to... you don't want to be a bully, like those who picked on you... in any school, weather it- regardless of it was pre, kindergarten, high, middle, [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary]], high... whatever. We've all had our bullies in real life... don't be a bully yourself.

[''Chris holds up a hand drawn picture of a green-haired [[Trolls#Devil Trolls|Devil Troll]] standing on in front of an unknown [[Dreams#The watery maze dream|blue stripe]], which is possibly a correction redrawing the red slash at an angle as it is typically rendered. The Devil Troll proudly displays a massive erection, with a red "forbidden" symbol ([[Chris and Art|mostly]]) transposed over the top. The words "Cyber-bullying and trolling are not cool!" are displayed below. Even given the extremely low resolution of Chris's video, it is immediately obvious Chris mistakenly colored outside the lines in this picture.'']

[[Image:1984.jpg|thumb|Chris urges you to spy on your close friends, neighbors, workmates- anyone.]]

I urge you.. to NOT cyberbully or troll... [[Alec|anyone]]. [''pause''] And also, if you suspect anybody... any close friends, any neighbours, anyone inside your working facilities even, even at such companies like uh- [[Chris and English|Sonic Entertainment of America]], or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo of America]]... there may be a troll, trolling somebody like me... within the office. I urge you to do the checks, and report them, [[Wendy's|fire]] their arses. [''Chris glances down at the sheet of paper, then back up''] With your help we can put a [[Muscle bra|BUST]] [''Chris makes a 'masturbation' movement with his fist'']... on trolling and cyber-bullying.

[''Chris puts the paper down out of view. His attitude becomes sullen, forlorn.'']

It's not good. T'... leave it the way it is. We need to take these criminals down. [''Chris taps on his yearbook with his knuckles''] For what they are doing... ['Chris performs [[The Creepy Stare]]'] [[Chris and religion|God... will smite them.]] He knows it- he knows you're [[mass debating|doing it]] you damn trolls. And I know. I'm laughing at you right now. Oh hey! Here's a fun little joke. So-So I walk into a [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]... and I says to the employee- to long haired female employee with the pink shirt... "Am I fat?" ... "No." [''Chris brushes his imaginary long [[hair]] in an extremely effeminate gesture''] ... "[[obesity|Chris is fat]]."

[''Chris extends a full blown [[Claw of Fail]] directly at the camera, cackling demonically.'']

Not cool. [''Pause. Chris points at the camera''] You WILL be found in person. And I will give you a [[death threats|piece of my mind]]. Not [[pocket knife|phys- not physical violence]]. [''pause''] You trolls are going down. [''Chris points down''] And with the help of all good- with all the good people who agree with me... that trolling is not cool and would never dare to troll anybody, or bully anybody in real life, I urge you to report any suspicious people to your local police department. [[Chris and the Law|Or Crimestoppers]]. Also some tips- [[Chris and hypocrisy|keep all your information... your personal information off of the Internet]].

You do not want anybody to be laughing behind your back of [[Recycling|something]]... that shou- should be remain private. And [[nudes|naked photos]] is no good either, definitely not, so keep all private information to yourselves.

Also, don't trust too many people on the Internet unless you actually know that person... in real life... [''pause''] and you trust that person, then I can say that it's okay to trust that person over the Internet. [''Chris's tone becomes malevolent.''] But be wary of most everybody else.

[''Chris makes a small punching movement nearly out of view of the camera.'']

We're the Troll- we're the [[Ghostbusters|Trollbusters]]. And together, we will work WORLDWIDE [''Chris makes a much more emphatic punch in clear view''] to put a stop to bullying and cyber-bullying. [''pause; Chris holds a 'thumbs up' gesture for some time''] Yeah.

[''Chris picks up the yearbook again.''] Class 2000 reunion. It has to happen and I need the help of my classmates. And the people who put together prom. [''Chris's face is pleading''] Call me. Snail mail me. Get in contact with me.

[''Another, brief, thumbs up gesture'']

Have a good day. Be safe.

[''Chris turns off the camera.'']

== See also ==
*[[100 2178]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[6 June 2010]]|nextlink=Current}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW

2010-08-27T18:55:25Z

Notslowpoke:

[[Image:Picture 2.png|thumb|Chris, being one of the "Classmate Spotlights" on the MHS page of AlumniClass.com, proving that he may actually be doing something to get a reunion]]

'''EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW''' is a video in which [[Chris]] informs his <s>[[fanbase]]</s> former classmates that he wishes to organize a [[Manchester High School]] reunion very soon, seemingly unaware both that his organizational skills lack the capacity to plan a good prom and that a reunion for his year already has been planned and he was deliberately not invited.

After his plea, Chris goes on to claim that divine retribution is coming for the [[trolls]], tells an [[Random-access humor|unfunny joke]] about his visibly growing girth and gives advice on how to avoid being trolled. The best part is where he urges the viewers to keep their private information off the internet only ''moments'' after giving out his [[Christian Weston Chandler|real name]], [[14 Branchland Court|full street address]] and [[Prank calls|phone number]] ''yet again''. Chris also claims to be a "Trollbuster", part of a mysterious and unknown group [[Chris and his Ego|working worldwide to stop trolling and cyberbullying]].

The video came after three months of radio silence from Chris, but, aside from a [[hair]]line that has receded quite a bit, it is clear that nothing about him has changed except for his [[Chris and fashion|wardrobe]].

==Tags==
{{quotebox|surfing school [[education]] [[internet]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|safety]] [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|exclusive]] [[A CWC Audition|leak]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|leaked]] reunion class [[2000]] y2k}}

== Video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gQ-dpgxZruI}}
| stardate = 27 August 2010
| subject =
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = Manchester Class of 2000 T-shirt
| previous = [[June062010.MOV]]
| next = Current
}}

== Transcript ==

''The video opens with Chris holding a digitally edited picture of the rear of his [[ModNation Racers]] School Bus shakily in front of the camera for approximately nine seconds. The bus has "[[Chris and his Ego|CWC]]" splashed across the top, with a license plate "[[USA]]" in red, white and blue. When he finally speaks, he is holding up a Manchester High Yearbook much as he once held [[It's UGH!|Optimus Prime]]. His tone is wistful and nostalgic.''

Hello. I am well known on the [[Internet]], sadly. I am Christian Weston Chandler of... Ruckersville, Virginia. I was a Manchester High School student, graduated class of 2000. [''brief pause, [[Pedo-glasses|dramatic glasses removal]]''] Aaand, I am looking into having the reunion... or putting it together. Because I have not heard from anyone about it... not even from the principal of Manchester High. Of which... so in that- so with that I-... I am looking to- I am looking out... I am looking out to everyone, to... all, to my class- to my 2000 class mates... we know who you are and I know who you are, got your names-

[''Chris slaps the cover with his hand. His tone becomes particularly wistful at this point.'']
[[Image:Names.PNG|thumb|A CWC classmate's nightmare.]]
-got your names in the year book, in the... senior year book. In my class. I have have been looking forward to this r-reunion... since the [[senior prom]], where at the end of that slideshow... it said "See you in ten years [[speech impediment|flguh]] the reunion". [''Chris's face becomes somber.''] The reunion hasn't happened yet. [''Chris displays a partially complete [[Claw of Fail]], imploringly gesturing at the camera much as he did towards [[The Wallflower]]. His face is pained.''] And it HAS to happen. It was basically promised... [''Chris pauses.''] ... not only to me, but to everyone who was at that prom. So this reunion has to happen and I'm going to start it by... reaching out t- reaching out to my classmates. Espe- and also, it would be helpful if I can also... get in contact with those who put together the senior prom... back in 2000.

So with that I urge- I urge, uh... you- all you indivuals... the people who put together prom, AND my classmates, to contact me, Christian Weston Chandler... at [[14 Branchland Court]], Ruckersville Virginia, 22968, or by telephone... at 434-990-0198. [''pause''] Again, that's 434-990-0198. [''pause''] [[Trolls|False identities]] will be... discarded... so be sure yer... leave a message, describe- telling us your naaame, where you are right now and your contact information. Basically your phone number. I will not accept e-mail... contact. Which- Because of... because of the [[trolls]] of which brings up my next- my other topic which I would like to address as well.

Cyber-bullying and trolling. It's all not cool, cuz you're just basically.. [[Surfshack Tito|mocking]] and... [[4-cent garbage|terrorizing]]... innocent people. It's not cool. Not cool. Not cool. [''pause''] You don't want to... you don't want to be a bully, like those who picked on you... in any school, weather it- regardless of it was pre, kindergarten, [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary]], high... whatever. We've all had our bullies in real life... don't be a bully yourself.

[''Chris holds up a hand drawn picture of a green-haired [[Trolls#Devil Trolls|Devil Troll]] standing on in front of an unknown [[Dreams#The watery maze dream|blue stripe]], which is possibly a correction redrawing the red slash at an angle as it is typically rendered. The Devil Troll proudly displays a massive erection, with a red "forbidden" symbol ([[Chris and Art|mostly]]) transposed over the top. The words "Cyber-bullying and trolling are not cool!" are displayed below. Even given the extremely low resolution of Chris's video, it is immediately obvious Chris mistakenly colored outside the lines in this picture.'']

[[Image:1984.jpg|thumb|Chris urges you to spy on your close friends, neighbors, workmates- anyone.]]

I urge you.. to NOT cyberbully or troll... [[Alec|anyone]]. [''pause''] And also, if you suspect anybody... any close friends, any neighbours, anyone inside your working facilities even, even at such companies like uh- [[Chris and English|Sonic Entertainment of America]], or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo of America]]... there may be a troll, trolling someone like me... within the office. I urge you to do the checks, and report them, [[Wendy's|fire]] their arses. [''Chris glances down at the sheet of paper, then back up''] With your help we can put a [[Muscle bra|BUST]] [''Chris makes a 'masturbation' movement with his fist'']... on trolling and cyber-bullying.

[''Chris puts the paper down out of view. His attitude becomes sullen, forlorn.'']

It's not good. T'... leave it the way it is. We need to take these criminals down. [''Chris taps on his yearbook with his knuckles''] For what they are doing... ['Chris performs [[The Creepy Stare]]'] [[Chris and religion|God... will smite them.]] He knows it- he knows you're [[mass debating|doing it]] you damn trolls. And I know. I'm laughing at you right now. Oh hey- here's a fun little joke. So-So I walk into a [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]... and I says to the employee- to long haired female employee with the pink shirt... "Am I fat?" ... "No." [''Chris brushes his imaginary long [[hair]] in an extremely effeminate gesture''] ... "[[obesity|Chris is fat]]."

[''Chris extends a full blown [[Claw of Fail]] directly at the camera, cackling demonically.'']

Not cool. [''Pause. Chris points at the camera''] You WILL be found in person. And I will give you a [[death threats|piece of my mind]]. Not [[pocket knife|phys- physical violence]]. [''pause''] You trolls are going down. [''Chris points down''] And with the help of all good- with all the good people who agree with me... that trolling is not cool and would never dare to troll anybody, or bully anybody in real life, I urge you to report any suspicious activities to the police. [[Chris and the Law|Or Crimestoppers]]. Also some tips- [[Chris and hypocrisy|keep all your information... your personal information off of the Internet]].

You do not want anybody to be laughing behind your back of [[Recycling|something]]... that shou- should be remain private. And [[nudes|naked photos]] is no good either, definitely not, so keep all private information to yourselves.

Also, don't trust too many people on the Internet unless you actually know that person... in real life... [''pause''] and you trust that person, then I can say that it's okay to trust that person over the Internet. [''Chris's tone becomes malevolent.''] But be wary of most anyone else.

[''Chris makes a small punching movement nearly out of view of the camera.'']

We're the Troll- we're the [[Ghostbusters|Trollbusters]]. And together, we will work WORLDWIDE [''Chris makes a much more emphatic punch in clear view''] to put a stop to bullying and cyber-bullying. [''pause; Chris holds a 'thumbs up' gesture for some time''] Yeah.

[''Chris picks up the yearbook again.''] Class 2000 reunion. It has to happen and I need the help of my classmates. And the people who put together prom. [''Chris's face is pleading''] Call me. Snail mail me. Get in contact with me.

[''Another, brief, thumbs up gesture'']

Have a good day. Be safe.

[''Chris turns off the camera.'']

== See also ==
*[[100 2178]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[6 June 2010]]|nextlink=Current}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Examples of Chris's Ego

2010-08-25T00:30:53Z

Notslowpoke:

Here's an exhaustive list of '''Examples of Chris's Ego''' in the real world and in the Sonichu Comic. The list is so long that it warrants its own page!

==In the Real World==

===At School===
*[[Manchester High School]] - When Chris graduated from high school, he actually cried because he believed that he deserved a number of artistic awards for his [[Chris and art|artwork]]. By his own admission, he also made a scene and ran out after getting his diploma, eventually having to be consoled by both his [[mother]] and gal-pal [[Tiffany Gowen]].
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] - After being expelled for his [[Chris and anger|appalling behavior]] by the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Student's Dean]], Chris felt the need to write to the Then-Standing President of the United-States, [[George W. Bush]]. The idea that a standing President would be willing to use his clout to reverse a local third-rate college's administrative decision is ludicrous at best.

===Public Places===
*[[Wal-Mart]] - When asked to cease his solicitation, Chris refused to budge, rambled on in some stupid speech, and actually ''ran''. He would do this again in a [[Target]] soon after, only to be arrested in the process.
*[[The GAMe PLACe]] - Chris acted in this store as if he owned the place. He was rude with the patrons, abused the access to a flat-screen TV and was an all-around pain for the manager, [[Michael Snyder]]. After many antics, he was banned from the place. Chris filmed a half-assed [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apology]] nine months later, not because he was sorry for his actions, but because the store was the only place that had [[Eye of Judgement]] cards. Chris has also attempted to incite harassment of employees of the store (using the very fans he had chastised mere weeks earlier), simply because Michael had refused to remove his ban.
*[[McIntire Park]] - During a newscast, Chris happened to pass by a cameraman who was videotaping someone being interviewed. As he did, he flashed his Sonichu [[medallion]] as if to say "Hey, look at me! I'm more important!" Sometime later, he appeared in a town hall meeting over the park itself. He flashed his shitty Sonichu and Rosechu drawing in a bizarre attempt to save it, then tried to interrupt the proceedings with a speech about how he didn't want to pay for a YMCA membership when the recognized speaker made the mistake of referring to him. He was no doubt trying to gain sympathy by noting that it would make an ostensible retard sad to build the YMCA. Chris was promptly and thankfully shot down.

===People===
*[[Megan Schroeder]] - For the longest time, Chris actually believed that he and Megan were going out as boyfriend and girlfriend. He even attacked someone for getting near Megan. When the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] picture was discovered, Chris actually thought that the reason she was upset was because she wasn't used to sexual things. He then tried to make Megan believe that the bullying from those amongst [[ED]] was MUCH worse than the fact that he did the picture because he was afraid of trying to rape her. He also insisted that he was under much more emotional pain than she was. Chris would later blame ED for the fact that he lost her friendship, not caring it was his fault in the first place.
*[[10 September 2009]] - Chris, in his ever growing paranoia, automatically assumes that a possible interview from Veronica Belmont of ''Playstation Magazine Europe'' is a troll due to the fact that the person didn't leave a return number, demanding that if she truly wanted to interview him, she should come ''personally'' to his house... then starts trying to suck up to her just in case it wasn't a troll.
*[[Rejected Mailbag]] - Chris hates being proven wrong, especially about Asperger's and Autism being part of the same spectrum. He also takes issue with letters that point out the flaws in his comic pages, which is interesting considering he has no problem telling fans about the flaws he finds in their fan art, calling it "constructive criticism". He's gone from simply ignoring people correcting his mistake to placing these "offending" letters in his rejected mailbag. Even more, when any of the letters mention the similarities between Autism and Aspergers, he tosses them into his "Autism Mailbag" and whenever someone tries to mention anything else connected to his past, he automatically goes into a "mental block" and refuses to go any further. On 5 December 2009, Chris wrote a long essay that made little sense, which mainly consisted of him bawwing that he was a unique and special snowflake, and that Aspies are faking fakers that take away the specialness of his autism. Despite autism and Asperger's existing in the populace long before he was born, and Chris being a [[virgin with rage]], Chris also states that he [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"...Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People".]]
*[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|The Sonichu promotional video]] - In the Part 2 of his video, Chris shows to the camera an elegant drawing of the two main heroes of the comic book made by a fan called Allie. Not only does he proceed to comment "Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her," he presents an actual, sub-par copy of the drawing made by himself as a better version.
*[[Chris and Copyright|Copyright claim against Vivian Gee]] - For the most part, Chris ignored the [[Audiobooks]] that were being made out of his comics. However, when he found out that they were being "sold", Chris issued [[Death threats]] against [[Vivian Gee]]. Threatening to kill her AND [[Clyde Cash|her family]]. He then released his own [[Official Videobooks]], which he believed to be better than Vivian's. These consisted of holding up the TRUE and ORIGINAL pages up to a camera and waving the page around as he stumbled through the dialogue, made childish sound effects, and failed to explain what was actually going on. He excused himself a month later and asked for a quote of 25% out of the donations she received for her hard work. It is worth mentioning that the excuse AND the demand for a share of the profits were in the same e-mail, separated by a single dot.
*[[Jimmy Hill]], [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]]- While Chris is more than willing to declare Sonichu as a parody so he can make his multimedia franchise, he blows his stack whenever someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu and himself. He threatened "legal action" during the Jimmy Hill saga and went all out to prove himself the TRUE and HONEST Chris when Liquid showed up. During the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], when Liquid threatened to go to the police over the Gun Comic, Chris was certain that the police would be more concerned over the fact that someone was impersonating him than the fact that he threatened to murder him. When Alec Benson Leary's Asperchu began to be more popular than Sonichu, Chris decided to pull a number of things, including a moment of "pot calling the kettle black" in which he decries Asperchu as crappy because it was computer drawn.
*[[Father Call]] - When talking to [[Kacey]]'s father, his ego clashed horribly against Matt's attempts to get through to his head, comparing losing a loved one to Chris losing his [[Patti|dog]], declaring that mowing the lawn (a menial task at that) was tough work and utterly missing various cues to people's hardships, such as when Matt told him that his mother pulled weeds while inflicted with arthritis, Chris could only apologize for her having arthritis, not be impressed by the feat.
*[[Evan]] - When Evan created the character "Simonchu" as a joke, Chris took it, turned it into a girl and renamed her "Simonla". When Evan got tired of Chris using the monstrosity, he demanded that he kill her. Chris has refused many times but a [[Mailbag 43|recent Mailbag]] took the cake: he told Evan, in detail, how his Simonchu would try to take back Simonla, how Wild Sonichu would defend and defeat Simonchu and Simonchu would return to Evan's "ECGVille" and say that she didn't want to come back, all under Chris's GDC ("Great Director Chandler") powers.
*[[Shigeru Miyamoto]] - Chris was convinced that Miyamoto, who is a world-famous video game designer and creator of beloved and legendary icons like Mario and Zelda, would not only be honored to meet him, but in fact even ''more'' honored to meet Chris than Chris would be to meet him. Then, even after having his game proposal rejected by Miyamoto, Chris still remained convinced that Miyamoto was only "holding out on [him]" and would surely accept his offer in the near future.
*[[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] - Chris loves to hold some form of superiority over people he doesn't like, and the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|calls Alec made]] to Chris are great examples. Chris calls Alec's art "crappy" several times, his reasoning being that it is drawn with a tablet, and doesn't have the "character" that his own pencil-and-paper methods apparently convey. He also tells Alec he is "obviously naïve" because he ''doesn't'' believe that cartoon and comic book characters have real feelings and hasn't been deceived countless times by trolls, and implies that he thinks Alec is pathetic in a rather snide tone of voice, despite having no real reasons to back this up. Despite Alec actually being genial to him during the first few calls, Chris attempts to insult and demean him anyway, and acts like a child being scorned when Alec inevitably becomes angered by this. In a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|recent call]], Chris actually has the balls to tell Alec that there was a price to pay for making him kill off Simonla - Alec, Evan, Sean and Mao's deaths in the comic.
*[[Bob Chandler]] - On 01 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter|twittered]] the sad news that Bob Chandler, Chris's father, was hospitalized with a life-threatening heart condition. Instead of asking for prayers (like many [[Chris and religion|Christians]] do) or putting his comic on hold, he whined about the [[stress]] it caused him and talked about the newest dates for release of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu 11]]. The next day, he released [[02 March 2010|two]] [[Surfshack Tito|videos]]. Neither had any info on or mention of his father or his condition. He didn't even update [[CWCipedia|his website]] or his [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|blog]] with the sad news. Here's the sum of all the love and concern Chris expressed for his Dad: One and a half lines of the 11 tweets he sent that afternoon.<ref>[http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu Chris's Twitter]</ref>
*[[Fans|His own fans]] - Ever since day one, Chris has treated his fanbase like shit. He insulted one of the few fans he had, shrugs his shoulders and says "Whatever" whenever a fan tells him they were going to leave and then he expects them to come to his aid whenever its necessary. When Chris lost his latest [[gal-pal]] due to troll interference, not only did he attack the trolls, he also attacked his fans, claiming that they have no life of their own and comparing them to Mary Lee Walsh in trying to stop him from finding a sweetheart. Hilariously, Chris thinks that he has over a billion fans. Let's put this into perspective: The internet has close to ''two billion users''. Chris thinks he has half of them.
*[[The Wallflower]] - The Wallflower, Chris's latest [[gal-pal]], has been the source of his most recent heartache and anger. In an article in the CWCipedia, Chris shoves the blame on The Wallflower herself, saying that she should never have had a Facebook page or Fanfiction.net page and that, because she refuses to give ''him'' an apology for this, despite the fact it should be ''him'' to ''her'', she will forever hold the guilt of breaking his heart. In addition, Chris claims that the two of them had been seeing each other up until that time when, in actuality, Chris had been [[friend zone]]d once again.
*[[Trolls]] - One of the things that has enraged even casual Christorians is his smugness towards even his trolls. In Chris's own mind, he has came up with the image that they are actually [[homos|homosexual]] [[niggos|blacks]] who are jealous of his work and are slowly becoming autistic by staying on the computer.

===The Internet===
*[[CWC's Second Message]] - In what would be his opening attack on trying to get the trolls to remove his page following losing Megan, Chris's opening words, amazingly, were:
{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.}}
*[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]] - Another shining example of Chris's ego in video form: Chris expects, and even '''demands''', respect from everybody, even though Chris has never shown anybody else any kind of respect. Plus, considering all of the things he's done: adding people to his comic so that he can beat them up, [[mass debating]] on camera, discriminating against others because of [[niggos|race]], [[JERKS|gender]], and [[homos|sexual orientation]], spending taxpayer money on [[Kimmi|sex toys]] and [[PS3|video games]], uploading poorly-drawn [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|pictures]] of himself fingerbanging [[Megan]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and then blaming them for her breaking up with him; He's never done anything to warrant the respect of '''anyone'''.
*[[LittleBigPlanet]] - When Chris had shown up on LBP community and posted videos addressed to them, he once again said people "should know him by now". He immediately assumed people would praise him for his levels, especially the "Collector's Case", which he thought was the most original LBP level idea ''ever.''
*[[For G4's Web Soup|Web Soup]] - When Chris learned that one of his videos was featured on an episode, he took it as a good thing, not realizing that the show made fun of people on the Internet.
*[[Sonichu's Edge|Chris]] [[CWCFighter|and]] [[51 50|exercise]] - Many times, Chris has shown his attempts at exercising or performing some sort of strenuous feat. He considered [[Power|lifting up a chair]] to be a great feat of strength, thought that lifting two 12-pack boxes was akin to lifting two 50-pound weights and even showed his "amazing" Parkay skills.
*[[Chris and Wikipedia|Chris and famous people]] - Chris has compared himself to [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo Buonarotti]] in artistic ability. He has also compared himself in ability or personality to President [[Barack Obama]], [[SingStar Challenge|Frank Sinatra]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Bing Crosby]], [[Red Skelton]], Dick van Dyke, [[I Love Lucy|Ricky Ricardo]], and Jaleel White (who voiced Sonic the Hedgehog). He has also compared himself to many fictional characters such as [[Transformers|Optimus Prime]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]], Homer Simpson and [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]. Since free-riding on someone else's talents is nothing new for Chris, he saw no issue into incorporating known people in [[Chandler Family Tree|his family tree]]. This is how [[Anne Boleyn]], [[Daniel Weston]] and an unknown [[Cherokian Clan| Cherokee fellow]] appeared in his ancestry for no logical reason whatsoever. He pushed the audacity to edit many [[Wikipedia]] pages to validate his hubris. All entries have been redacted and he was banned from the site.
*[[Chris E-Mails]] - Chris's massive ego manifests itself eagerly through his correspondence with other people. For example, he e-mailed the O'Reilly Factor, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News at least twice, telling them about his Encyclopedia Dramatica page. Not only did he outright expect them to report on it and give it extensive television coverage, but he expected the FBI (which he also believed was apparently part of the crew for the news shows) to go after Jason Kendrick Howell. Other examples include that while he apologized to Megan for drawing [[shecameforcwc.jpg]], he told her that she owed him money and that he tried to coax [[Anna McLerran]] and Megan into vandalizing his ED page for him. He also believed that people thought their ranking on his [[Scale of Respect]] was of the utmost importance, as illustrated by his correspondence with Mary Lee Walsh.
*[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)|Chris and his ED Page]] - Since Chris is a known narcissistic loon, he never liked mirrors of any kind. When the [[Jason Kendrick Howell|nice folks]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] found him, they couldn't resist the urge to satirize his own existence. Said article turned into a circus whereby [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|he tried to retract, modify, erase]] and even supply the page with [[shecameforcwc.jpg|new]] [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|material]]. In 17 [[December 2009]], he went as far as copying the main article page out of ED and edited out at his convenience.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Chris_chan]</ref>
*[[CWCipedia|Chris and his own webpage]] - When Chris was given his own webpage, he found himself bombarded with gay ads, all paid for by [[Jack Thaddeus]]. After dealing with this for months on end, Chris finally had enough and proclaimed that he wrote to currently-standing President Barack Obama in an attempt to make gay ads illegal, despite the fact that this kind of ad is still protected under free speech and even if he got the letter, there's a slim (read: zero) chance that Obama will actually listen to his whiny, fat ass. While addressing the matter, Chris proclaims himself ''the captain of this boat'' and says that without him, CWCipedia would not exist, implying that he does all the hard work on the website, ignoring all of the Sysop's efforts. In fact, CWCipedia is a privilege given to Chris and not at all something that he came up with. Chris has taken this to an absolute extreme, going as far as to suggest that he is the "Captain" of CWCipedia.
*[[Sonichu Forum|Chris and the Sonichu Forum]] - When Chris discovered a troll site filed with people pretending to be Sonichu fans, he used it to it's maximum possible extent. The notorious [[Mailbag 50]] was made using hand-picked posts from the forum, selected for their copious amounts of ass-kissing. When one troll suggested that Chris [[Sonichu Forum#Chris doesn't own a mirror|wasn't much of a catch IRL]], Chris responded with anger, demanding to know what could possibly make them think that he was anything less than awesome.
*[[CWCki|Chris and the CWCki]] - On 10 March 2010, Chris ended up discovering the CWCki due to the fiasco that lead to his breakup with [[The Wallflower]]. He demanded that all pages concerning him, his family and friends be altered or [[death threats|there would be trouble.]] Noticing the Wallflower's page altered, he took credit for it, not realizing that she had demanded it much earlier and had nothing to do with his earlier rant.
*[[Chris and the Internet|Leaving the Internet]] - No fewer than ''five times'', Chris has boldly claimed that he was "distancing himself from the Internet", that the only way he would be seen would be outside. However, Chris has always returned, anywhere from 36 hours to two weeks after making this bold claim. In a hypocritical sense, Chris hasn't left the Internet - he's left the parts that he doesn't like anymore.
*[[Flipnote Hatena]] - After "distancing himself from the Internet", Chris decided to bide his time on Flipnote Hatena, a website that allows him to post animated creations from the Nintendo DSi program Flipnote Studio. So far, Chris has used it to spread his word over how to deal with trolls by butchering a humorous music video, thinking its creator was thinking the same thing he was, and by creating a set of "tags", listing out a bunch of lies. At the end of [[An Ol' Classic Dream]], he demands that his brainwashed, obedient fanbase give him 5 million stars in exchange for an uncensored version of the already raunchy video. When mods took down his flipnotes, Chris would put them back on, disable comments on his page, then reallow them, posting a flipnote that should be him apologizing for doing so, but talked more about the trolls and his "Internet Rep" than an actual apology.

===Contests===
*[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]] - in an attempt to win a contest involving the animated avian lawyer, Chris went to great lengths to talk about himself, his rivalry with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Sonichu]], but very, ''very'' little about Birdman himself.
*[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] - After losing the contest to [[Adam Stackhouse]], Chris would have a major hissy-fit over the loss, proclaiming even the slightest mistake as cheating, despite the fact that Chris himself had broken numerous rules in the process. Even worse, he attempted to fabricate the Playstation webpage to show that he himself had won and not Adam.
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] - After [[trolls]] caused Chris to win the contest in a misguided attempt to troll the entire gaming community, Chris vowed to spend his winnings (a $400 USD gift card) with his church. Instead, he barely spent half of it towards the church, taking the rest (approximately over 200 dollars) for himself.

===Other===
*[[Mumble 3]] - While talking to Clyde, Chris tells him that the reason why he doesn't have a job is because he has so many awesome skills, he just can't choose one.
*[[Mumble 4]] - When Clyde asks Chris what kind of job he thinks he's qualified for, Chris says, "If anything, I'm overqualified...[for] every type of job available!"
*[[Chris and Health]] - Chris hates to be called fat. Deep in his mind, he honestly thinks he's the same somewhat skinny child he was ten years ago, despite the fact that he has a gut and his hairline's retreating at an alarming rate. While he refuses to accept his baldness, he actually is claiming to be working on his gut. Beyond that, he refuses ''professional'' psychological help and honestly believes stuff such as autism and homosexuality are easily caught diseases.
*[[Homos|Homosexuality]] - Chris actually believes that homosexuality is a disease like AIDS or even the common cold. In his comics, he takes a page out of [[Family Guy]] and helps create the cure for homosexuality. Since it questions his own sexuality, he seeks to punish those who are in same-sex relations within CWCVille as well.
*[[CWC Blog#7 January 2010|His Birthday]] - Chris feels that his birthdate (24 February) should be a [[Examples of Chris's Ego#Christian Love Day|national holiday]]; a "Second Day of Love" for [[Chris and his Ego|no valid reason whatsoever]].
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|His Church]] - In a recent [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|call to arms against Asperchu]], Chris believe he can use his current congregation as a personal army.
*[[Copyright|His copyright]] - If there is one thing Chris takes pride in, it's his "official" Sonichu copyright. With this, he feels as if he can actually make his multimedia empire with no one to stop him. When he first got the paperwork, he boasted it not even a day after he lost Kacey to Liquid Chris, more or less telling her she got stuck with a loser. He also attempted to set up a bunch of videos trying to sell Sonichu to other companies. In his second "I'm leaving the Internet FOREVER" video, he uses the copyright again to boast that he has won over the trolls.
* [[Car Pranks|His answering machine]] - When a number of trolls attempted to call Chris over a Craigslist listing of his car, one of the calls got to his answering machine. The recorded message says that his lawyers and a doctor of some sort advises him not to take any interviews due to too much information being leaked, then calls the trolls "trollin' stupid."
* [[100 2178|Greene County School Board]] - In one video, Chris proclaims that the Greene County School Board, who sought to help Chris when he was younger, initiated a massive conspiracy against him in order to keep him in his "autistic shell". This also included paying off a Realtor to keep their house from being sold and paying off Michael Snyder to keep him out of the GAMe PLACe.
*In a [[Media:HelpHaitSonichu.jpg|one-page spread]] designed to spread awareness of the victims of the earthquake in Haiti, Chris drew all the human victims being dwarfed by four and a half foot tall hedgehogs. The human children, sitting beside [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|a bunch of furry runts]], are to scale less than a foot tall. Topping it all off was the inclusion of Simonchu in order to spite [[Evan]]. To Chris, it's more important that his (stolen) recolor abominations have more exposure than the people he's trying to help.

==In the Comic==

{{quote|I did an AWESOME FUCKIN' JOB|Chris}}

While [[Issue 0]] and [[Issue 1]] do focus on Sonichu, [[Chris-Chan]] takes over as the main character throughout [[Issue 2]], [[Sonichu 5|Issue 5]], [[Sonichu 6|Issue 6]] and [[Sonichu 7|Issue 7]], with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] as a supporting character, and even when he does appear, he's shouting some retarded praises about Chris. [[Sonichu 8|Issue 8]] and [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] see Sonichu taking back his major role as the main character, but he's basically just a Mary-Sue analogy for Chris. The main story arc of [[Sonichu 10|Issue 10]] is the resurgence of Chris and his elimination of every enemy he has so far. He also portrays himself as skinny and handsome (although this doesn't happen till said ''Issue 2'') and will pull powers out of his ass. He even makes several episodes that dramatize events he had in real-life, with the extreme self-indulgement fantasies that are described below.

Chris's ego is in full bloom in the comics. The name of the city in which he and his Electric Hedgehog Pokemon strive to protect is known as [[CWCVille]]. The city's currency is C-Quarters and W-Quarters. One of the major drinks in this city is known as [[CWC Cola]]. The radio station is called "K-CWC"... the hotel is called the "Double CWC" ... even his [[Wikipedia:Hyrule|Hyrule]] ripoff is called "RuleCWC". Basically, everything is named after Chris. The Sonichus and Rosechus he created proclaim him "father". No one in his city cares if he slacks off from his job as Mayor. He even goes so far as to proclaim that there are no elections when he proclaims [[BILLY MAYS]] is NOT the TRUE and HONEST mayor of CWCville.

===Instances of Chris's ego in the comics===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|An entire book of Chris hurting people he hates]]
*'''[[Sonichu 0]]:''' While this is the smallest amount of screen time he's ever had in the comics, he generally steals the scene to himself, Sonichu tries to make a point about how "[[lie|creative]]" the comics are if that, and generally trying to make it seem like he deserves a girlfriend for drawing this retarded piece of [[fail]].
*'''[[Sonichu 1]]:''' Again, Chris's existence in the comics is very minor, confined to Sub-Episodes and a sudden appearance, mocking how ridiculous a singing and dancing [[Robotnik]] is.
*'''[[Sonichu 2]]:''' His portrayal of [[Wes-Li Sonichu|Wes-Li]] counts; despite not really knowing Chris in [[Chris and Reality|real life]] he still gets portrayed as a villain. He also openly admitted he didn't want Sarah to see anyone else in a text-walling portion of the comic, yet still calls Wes-Li greedy for not wanting to be a part in CWC's retarded conversations. He also draws [[Sarah]] pinning Wes-Li to a tree & breaking up with him, just because she thought Chris being jealous of her was sweet. He is also drawn whining about how he lost Sarah, and essentially tells Wes to "buck up", even though he's the first one to make a scream when he lost a [[Hannah|one-time date]]. [[Mary Lee Walsh]] also appears as a villain.
*'''[[Sonichu 3]]:''' This issue has a semi-fictionalized account of an incident Chris had with the managers of McDonald's. He was loitering and soliciting, and they threw him out. In his comic book, however, Chris exclaims that the Jerkops are conspiring against him, preventing him from finding true love. He turns into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and defeats them with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]], who admits he only helped because Chris was his creator.
*'''[[Sonichu 4]]:''' It's all about Chris here. Sonichu and Rosechu are nowhere to be seen, except for one cameo each in separate sub-episodes. This issue was all about Chris's semi-fictionalized misadventures at Wal-Mart, Target and McDonald's, and pitted him constantly against the Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh, for they dare to interfere with his [[Love Quest]]. Unlike IRL, Chris can (and does) pwn them in the fantasy world of his comics. This issue also includes the account of Chris's encounter with IRL troll [[Hannah]], who raised his [[heart level]] to 100% just to smash it down to 15%.
[[Image:Sammyandchris.jpg|thumb|Chris as he is vs. Chris as he sees himself.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 5]]:''' This issue has Chris write Sarah Hammer out of the comic so he could focus exclusively on [[Megan Schroeder]], the new object of his desire. While Sarah did marry a man named [[William Spicer]], Chris was not present at her wedding, and had never met Spicer, as he was represented in the comic by a generic [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] character. The next episode has Chris fawning over Megan, and she over him. However, in reality, Megan saw Chris only as a friend, and was constantly rebuffing his advances. The episode features two different endings because Megan either did not like the original ending or objected to being featured in the comic at all.
*'''[[Sonichu 6]]:''' The [[Patti Chandler]] Memorial Issue, where his dead dog becomes a member of CWCville. In the only other episode in this issue, Chris has [[Bionic]] ask him to create a sweetheart for him, but Chris, being a lazy fuck, hooks him up with Megan's character, [[Megagi]]. Chris would later claim Megan's character as his own.
*'''[[Sonichu 7]]:''' Chris is envious of Bionic's ability to screw Megagi until Megan holds his hand, again implying romance where none exists. This issue contains the stupid time-travel plot where they go back in time to the the moment Chris created Bionic, and the scene randomly segues into a [[Family Guy]] style scene he gives Seth McFarlane full permission to use (Coincidentally, or not, the first few minutes of the ''Road to Germany'' episode of Family Guy bears a close resemblance to this "skitch"). After Chris gets trapped in the time void, he mixes both fake memories from the comic with real ones, like Megan "dumping" him and his denial of having drawn [[Shecameforcwc.jpg]] (he blames it on [[ED]], even though he was the one that drew it and uploaded it onto that site), Mary Lee Walsh's invasion of CWCville and her defeat at the hands of the Sonichus and Rosechus, and [[Joshua Martinez]] hooking him up with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. In the other episode, he introduces his Sweetheart-of-the-moment Blanca and her creation [[Jiggliami]] (who Chris would later claim as his own), as well as featuring an interview with anti-troll [[Robert Simmons V]] about how awesome Chris is.
[[Image:Momentary Escape.JPG|thumb|Chris rends space time asunder to punch some guy. On the plus side, that does look a little bit like him.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 8]]:''' While free of Chris the character, the comic was not free of Chris's warped psyche. He drew a sex scene between Sonichu and Rosechu for no other reason than to draw porn of his characters, and gave a detailed account of their reproductive systems. Remember, Sonichu is supposed to be a children's comic, as Chris has stated numerous times. After having his characters have sex for the fifty billionth time, he inserts the hideous [[Rule 34]] he drew into the storyline by having Rosechu come across it while using the internet. In a blatant display of Mary Sueism, Chris uses Sonichu to comment on his hideous drawings by saying that they are "so lifelike", and he also has Sonichu gag and barf at the sight of fan drawings from Chris's ED page of Rosechu with a "pickle". Next there are multiple (traced) nude images of Rosechu, which the plot indicates is to prove that she doesn't have a "pickle". Later on, after Sonichu and Rosechu storm [[4-cent_garbage.com]] (which is a thinly veiled portrayal of ED), she strips again and face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] (the guy who created Chris's ED page), putting him into a state close to death. Even later, all the Rosechus in the comics decide to strip for "[[Women's Rights]]"...well, all except [[Zapina|one underaged one]], who can't strip because of the "[[Chris and sex#pedophilia|dumb laws]]". It must be noted that this entire storyline was a result of Chris being trolled hard by the people over at ED, who drew fan art of Rosechu with a dick to make Chris RAGE...and RAGE he did. An epilogue has former sweetheart [[Sarah Jackson]] killed by [[Optimus Prime]]; another former sweetheart, [[Blanca]], returned to Kentucky and her boyfriend (which makes no fucking sense storyline wise; truth is that she was a troll and Chris failed at writing her out); a two sentence memorial to [[Ryan Cash]]; and a dedication to Sweetheart-of-the-moment [[PandaHalo]].
[[Image:Billboard.JPG|thumb|They're better off without him.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 9]]:''' Lacking Sonichu to use as his mouthpiece, Chris invented [[Reginald Sneasel]] to use as his stand-in during the first episode, and Reginald even goes to retarded lengths to break up a romance between [[Punchy]] and [[Layla]] in a similar way that Chris meddled with Wes and Sarah. After Reginald's plan fails, [[Angelica Rosechu]] approaches him, and they quickly jump into the sack together, echoing Chris's own belief that the woman must make the first move (out of pity) and put out as soon as possible. This episode also introduces Chris's retarded [[Dating Education]] concept and applies it to his characters. Chris also inserts his Sweetheart-of-the-moment [[Ivy]] into the comics in a plotline that goes nowhere, and has a thinly-veiled version of former sweetheart Sarah Jackson as the Date Ed teacher. Chris then makes a callous reference to Sarah's death by Optimus Prime via a representation of her sister Rita. When Rita informs the class about her sister's death, the assorted characters appear to not give a fuck, nor do they make any attempt to console the poor grieving woman that is now stuck teaching their class. Also in Sonichu 9, Chris depicts PandaHalo dying in a fire. He seems to think this is a fitting tribute. He also shopped a caricature of himself onto a billboard in the background, with a caption begging him to return to the mayor's office. Recent additions have shown the addition of a Power Rangers team, the CWC-Power Rangers, as well as a gruesome description of Ivy dying by being hanged as well as BILLY MAYS falling to his death trying to save her.
*'''[[Sonichu 10]]''' With Chris back in the saddle, he proceeds with his master plan to get rid of all of those who troubled him in real life. Even worse, he apparently was able to deceive his future wife into think he was his future self and did the nasty with her. On top of this, he proclaims that he helped create the cure for homosexuality and plans to bring about straightness by stealing all those vaccines, bringing them to the present and distributing them right there! Chris-Chan Sonichu defeats some "devil trolls", but can't resist imitating Zorro and spelling "CWC" in the air with his epic blows and kicks (this could be a trifecta: unoriginal, egoistic ''and'' physically implausible). As the comic continues on, he attacks the 4-cent_garbage HQ, he uses the characters [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and [[Beel]] to condemn [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being homo trolls who "slander and tarnish an innocent man's good name", the proceeds to make the latter two jump to their deaths, just as he wishes. Even more, he destroys the building, kills about 200 trolls and proclaims that both ED and 4-cent_garbage's websites were lost forever, despite the fact that most websites nowadays have back ups waiting for just such an emergency. Soon after, Magi-Chan returns from the future, reporting that the gay vaccine has/will be proven to be a worldwide success and that [[1982|February 24th]], 2009, (Chris's sense of time is legendary) will be be proclaimed Christian Love Day in his honor. Yes, really. And then Chris immediately manages to top this when his God complex manifests itself in the form of [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. Both are portrayed as blatantly messianic figures, especially Ultra Sonichu who works like Chris's version of Jesus who saves [[Asperchu]] characters from "[[Liquid Chris|The False God In Brown Strips]]" and Aspergers by granting them the forgiveness of Chris, which can only be received by praying to him. Chris later denied that he tried to set himself up as God, but at the same time he more than insinuated that he is just as awesome. Later in the issue, as he issues an apology over what he had done concerning Asperchu, he puts Alec, Mao, Evan and Sean on a mock trial for the murder of Simonla Rosechu, pull evidence out of their asses and get them sentenced to death, two of which Chris participates in!
*'''[[Sonichu Special 4]]:''' Chris steals [[Kacey]] from [[Liquid]] for "not treating her right", bursts into the house (note that Kacey doesn't seem to be in any real danger), and friggin' shoots a disarmed Liquid with a [[Megatron pistol|gun]], and draws Kacey's military family telling praises about Chris, and generally negative comments towards Liquid.

==Christian Love Day==

[[Image:Love-Day.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Magi-Chan]] describes Failmas, and expresses his severe disappointment with a startling lack of accuracy. ]]
'''Christian Love Day''' is a proposed holiday mused upon by Chris in the CWC blog entry of 7 January, 2010. It made an appearance in [[Sonichu 10]] on the same day. As described in the events of the comics, on 24 February, 2009 [[Magi-Chan]] completed his mission of distributing Chris's Gay Vaccine to the world. "[[Chris and religion|Thanks to the blood of Christian Weston Chandler]]," all Homosexuality and (in a startling display of overkill) [[Megan Schroeder|Asexuality]] are eradicated. Chris uses this as an excuse for a second Valentines day late in the month. Presumably, the day will be celebrated with unabashed, BUT STRAIGHT, monkey sex.

===Significance===

{{quote|Upon reflection, February 24 SHOULD be a Holiday of sorts (even a Second Day for Love in addition to Valentine's Day), because the day, to me at least, just FEELS like a Holiday, in addition to it being my Birthday. I have looked it up before, and it is some sort of forgettable (Holi)day in Mexico or somewhere. February 24 Should have More Significance and Recognition like a Holiday. |[[Chris]], in his [[CWC Blog]] for 7 January, 2010}}

Chris bases the holiday not only on his horrifically misguided and disturbing Gay Holocaust, but grants it full significance for being his birthday. Chris actually believes a milestone date in his amateur webcomic should be celebrated worldwide, because he "feels" like it should, especially since it "feels" like a holiday to him (neglecting that everyone tends to view their own birthday as a holiday). He attempts to mask this fact with ill-researched hear-say. The "forgettable" holiday occurring on the 24th is [[Wikipedia:Flag_Day_in_Mexico|Mexican Flag Day]], celebrated at most with a flag ceremony in elementary schools and maybe a short lecture on the history of the Mexican flag. This is notable for being both a minor, yet momentous holiday, doubly defeating Chris's point. On a historical note, it was the same day the [[Wikipedia:February_24#Events|Nazi Party]] was founded, way back in 1920.

Interesting to note is the celebration of a "man"(child) giving his [[Navy|"blood"]] to "save" the population of the [[CWCville|Earth]] from [[Homosexuality|"damnation"]]. [[Chris and religion|Chris thinks he's Jesus]]. Big surprise.

===The Declaration===
[[File:Christian Love Day Declaration.jpg|thumb|250px|True and Original Declaration of the Christian Love Day]]
{{quote|Good morning. In less than an hour, Sonichu fans from here will join others from around the world as you will be witnessing the largest personal change in the history of mankind. Mankind...that word should have new meaning for us all today. We cannot be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it is fate that today is Metsico's flllag day. And we will once again be saluting an image of our freedom. Not just from trolling, loneliness, or persecution, but also from heartbreak. We are fighting for our right to love, to be honest, and when the sun sets today, the twenty-fourth of February will no longer be known as only a Metsican holiday, but as today the Sonichu fans declared what wuv was. We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We are going to live on! We are going to survive, to celebr--today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!|Chris, totally not [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping off]] the movie ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independence_Day_%28film%29 Independence Day]''}}

Chris is so engrossed by the idea that he went as far as [[Christian Love Day (video)|making a video]] for the occasion, asking his [[trolls|army of fans]] to celebrate his hubris. And to remove any doubt about the issue, he [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|admitted to Alec Benson Leary]] that he does indeed believe he is important enough to have his birthday celebrated across the country. On the other side, he denies ever writing the declaration, claiming a [[Troll|friend]] did it for him, and says he saw the movie ''Independence Day'' only once.

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

==See Also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Sub-Episodes]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Warning - Naughty Women ;)

2010-08-18T16:45:39Z

Notslowpoke:

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]

'''Warning - Naughty Women ;)''' (officially '''10102009 Warning - Naughty Women. ;)''') is a video in which [[Chris]] tries to use [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], a drawing of himself [[Fuck Quest|having sex]] with three female members of his [[Guitar Hero]] "rock band" as evidence against allegations that he's a [[homosexual]]. He also specifically points out that one of them is [[Niggos|"half-and-half"]] to refute accusations of racism.

Of course, by trying to pass a drawing off as a photograph, all Chris really proves is that he lacks the ability to [[Chris and reality|distinguish fantasy from reality]]. He also accuses trolls of being immature, while showing off a Rule 34 drawing he did of his virtual harem from a video game. Real mature, Chris.

==Video==

'''Official description:''' Warning - Naughty Women. ;)
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Warning - Naughty Women ;)
| image = {{#ev:youtube|_53-Eizd3SM}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 10 October 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:homosn.png]] Homos [[Image:sexn.png]] Sex
| Shirt = [[Image:horizontalredshirt.png]] Vertical red shirt
| previous = [[9_October_2009| 9 October 2009]]
| next = [[Challenge_for_Clyde| Challenge for Clyde]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

Hmm, [[Captain's Log|Captain's Loooog]]. [[CWCki:DATING|The 10th of October 2009]].

Now. I would like to make it perfectly clear, but first I would like to state...THE update [''dramatic [[glasses]] removal''] that will be on the [[CWCipedia]] tomorrah-uh-duh-later tonight or tomorrow. A few more pages for the numb nine book. So, look forward to that [''short pause''] good viewers.

Now, for those who DAYARE continue to mislabel me as dang [[homos|''gaaaaay'']], homosexual, or bisexual, uggh... ''[shakes head]'' I'm straight. I. Am. Straight.

[''Chris approaches the [[camera]] by maneuvering around something off-screen, grabs the camera, and holds it close to his sneering face''] And I tell you what. If I was a s-homosetsual or anything like that, would I not would I be having sex [''angles camera down and shoves CWCRockin4Way.jpg fully into the frame, with strips of paper taped over the genitals and nipples, including Chris's man breasts''] with THREE WOMEN? Huh? Huh? Look at it! Look at it! [[virgin with rage|I'm having sex with three women]], and you know what? The one in the middoo is [[niggos|half-and-half!]]

[''Chris points camera back at his enraged face''] I am [[Chris and sex|STRAIGHT]]. Get through your damn dirty immature skulls! [''sets camera back down with a forceful thud, meanders back to where he was originally standing by awkwardly stepping over the object from earlier, takes a moment to set himself'']

Thank you very much [''flashes victory sign''] and have a good day. [''bends down to the controller to halt recording'']

==Remix==
<center>
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ZOpGtblij8Y }}
| Stardate = 10 October 2009
| Maker = AngusHiggens
| Subject = [[Image:homosn.png]] [[Chris]]
| Video Type = Remix
}} </center>

==See also:==
*[[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], about the drawing itself.
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris and reality]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[9 October 2009]]|nextlink=[[Challenge for Clyde]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

Warning - Naughty Women ;)

2010-08-18T16:44:38Z

Notslowpoke:

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]

'''Warning - Naughty Women ;)''' (officially '''10102009 Warning - Naughty Women. ;)''') is a video in which [[Chris]] tries to use [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], a drawing of himself [[Fuck Quest|having sex]] with three female members of his [[Guitar Hero]] "rock band" as evidence against allegations that he's a [[homosexual]]. He also specifically points out that one of them is [[Niggos|"half-and-half"]] to refute accusations of racism.

Of course, by trying to pass a drawing off as a photograph, all Chris really proves is that he lacks the ability to [[Chris and reality|distinguish fantasy from reality]]. He also accuses trolls of being immature, while showing off a Rule 34 drawing he did of his virtual harem from a video game. Real mature, Chris.

==Video==

'''Official description:''' Warning - Naughty Women. ;)
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Warning - Naughty Women ;)
| image = {{#ev:youtube|_53-Eizd3SM}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 10 October 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:homosn.png]] Homos [[Image:sexn.png]] Sex
| Shirt = [[Image:horizontalredshirt.png]] Vertical red shirt
| previous = [[9_October_2009| 9 October 2009]]
| next = [[Challenge_for_Clyde| Challenge for Clyde]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

Hmm, [[Captain's Log|Captain's Loooog]]. [[CWCki:DATING|The 10th of October 2009]].

Now. I would like to make it perfectly clear, but first I would like to state...THE update [''dramatic [[glasses]] removal''] that will be on the [[CWCipedia]] tomorrah-uh-duh-later tonight or tomorrow. A few more pages for the numb nine book. So, look forward to that (short pause) good viewers.

Now, for those who DAYARE continue to mislabel me as dang [[homos|''gaaaaay'']], homosexual, or bisexual, uggh... ''[shakes head]'' I'm straight. I. Am. Straight.

[''Chris approaches the [[camera]] by maneuvering around something off-screen, grabs the camera, and holds it close to his sneering face''] And I tell you what. If I was a s-homosetsual or anything like that, would I not would I be having sex [''angles camera down and shoves CWCRockin4Way.jpg fully into the frame, with strips of paper taped over the genitals and nipples, including Chris's man breasts''] with THREE WOMEN? Huh? Huh? Look at it! Look at it! [[virgin with rage|I'm having sex with three women]], and you know what? The one in the middoo is [[niggos|half-and-half!]]

[''Chris points camera back at his enraged face''] I am [[Chris and sex|STRAIGHT]]. Get through your damn dirty immature skulls! [''sets camera back down with a forceful thud, meanders back to where he was originally standing by awkwardly stepping over the object from earlier, takes a moment to set himself'']

Thank you very much [''flashes victory sign''] and have a good day. [''bends down to the controller to halt recording'']

==Remix==
<center>
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ZOpGtblij8Y }}
| Stardate = 10 October 2009
| Maker = AngusHiggens
| Subject = [[Image:homosn.png]] [[Chris]]
| Video Type = Remix
}} </center>

==See also:==
*[[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], about the drawing itself.
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris and reality]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[9 October 2009]]|nextlink=[[Challenge for Clyde]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

Talk:Mumble 4

2010-08-17T20:56:35Z

Notslowpoke:

Anybody know what game Clyde mentioned that Chris said was going straight towards the "nine niney nine" bin?
--[[User:AntonImausMk2|AntonImausMk2]] 08:11, 22 November 2009 (CET)

*I *think* it was something to do with one of the crappily "fan" made Sonichu games. Chris wants PS3 level graphics and whatnot for his Sonichu game, and so anything less than that is deemed unworthy by him (hence, "it'd only end up in the $9.99 bargain bin") and so he doesn't want to use it. I *think*. [[User:Regexis|Regexis]]

Dammit, used the wrong colors. I'll fix it tonight. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 23:19, 1 December 2009 (CET)
*Hey, if it's not too late: may I suggest using green for Clyde? No particular reason, but I recently revamped a few Clyde-related templates (e.g. [[Template:Clyde Saga|this]]), and made their headers green (as in [[Pickle]] and [[Troll]]). It would add some uniformity, don't you think? But again, it won't be the end of the world if you don't. Keep up the good work! --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 23:33, 1 December 2009 (CET)
:*I'd say orange, since he's a guido. I think a darker orange would be readable. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:38, 1 December 2009 (CET)
*Btw, BlueSpike may be blue, and Chris red? --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 23:34, 1 December 2009 (CET)
::I was just gonna go with the color Scheme in Julie Revealed. Clyde's a pale green, Bluespike is (against all logic) red, and Julie's violet. Chris is blue in pretty much every single color-coded transcript, so I guess that's the standard for him. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:00, 2 December 2009 (CET)
:::Yeah, I made BlueSpike red there 'cos Chris was already blue (from the phone call transcripts and stuff). Whaddaya gonna do. Clyde was green because of the "cash" connection, ha ha, and orange looked a bit too much like BlueSpike/Max's color. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 02:21, 2 December 2009 (CET)

==On understanding things.==
I'm listening to this on a really awesome headset, and I can barely make out what Racist Chris is saying. I can't make out Donald Chris at all. Any corrections here would be greatly appreciated.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 07:56, 4 December 2009 (CET)

== 23:07? ==

Is it just me or does the .ogg file end at 23:07? [[User:Rabbitcore|Rabbitcore]] 18:07, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
: Yeah, it does. Does anyone have the rest of the conversation? [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 13:56, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Mass debating

2010-08-16T03:21:07Z

Notslowpoke:

Uhh, comeuppance is the same thing as semen. Listen to the sex tapes, he says Panda will "swallow his comeuppance." "Mass debating" is what Chris calls masturbation. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:14, 19 February 2009 (CET)

==To do==
Cite the quote about Chris not learning about masturbation until age 17 (he watched some porn film, I believe it was "I Like to Play 2" on HBO while his parents were out or something like that). I believe this is something he's discussed with Julie.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:56, 10 March 2009 (CET)

Why was there a parental block on HBO? So they have no hygene but still feel the need to keep Chris from watching porn movies? I guess they're rednecks with standards.~[[User:gourmetpickle]]
*Timeline. I believe that based on Chris's own descriptions, he lived with his dad most of high school while his mom lived in their "country home" (their current home) in Ruckersville. In any case, they were probably clean until Chris left college and then it all went downhill. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:02, 12 May 2009 (CEST)

As disturbing as this sounds, I think a section on "Technique" might be in order to document the various ways we've seen/heard Chris mass debates. Based on the sex vids from [[PandaHalo]], Chris seems to tug on his penis which isn't exactly typical, so it may be of note to document it, as putting it all in the article intro may not be the best place to do so. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:50, 24 May 2010 (UTC)

== Video ==

Hey, that's one of my videos! I'm trying not to sound like I have USI or anything with this, but thanks for using it. *feels honored* --[[User:Lime|Lime]] ([[User_talk:Lime|Scold?]] | [[Special:Contributions/Lime|Undo?]]) 05:21, 12 May 2009 (CEST)
Your one of those hawt emo lesbians?--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 08:55, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

== Misattribution ==

Is this a pseudo-CWCism like [[Niggos]]? Because in the citation, I see the word "mass debated" attributed to "Julie", not Chris. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 22:55, 14 August 2010 (PDT)
:It is, and I assume the citation is meant to say that Chris mass debated to Julie. [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 23:08, 14 August 2010 (PDT)

 '''Julie:''' Once, in school, I mass...debated.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. That's no surprise. Uh, what'd you masturbate over?
::No, I think that's what it says here. Chris uses the proper term throughout his chats, but somehow this BlueSpike neologism became a CWC-ism.--[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 00:43, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
::: Huh. That is a little odd. [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 20:21, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Matthew Nobles call

2010-08-16T03:13:26Z

Notslowpoke:

This is important shit guys, mostly detailing Bob's theory of the conspiracy that trolling originated from [[Megan]], Michael Synder, and "a few gay guys."--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:38, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Yeah, this is awesome. Now, if we had Matthew's email, we could verify the "George Millson" case a few of us are looking into, seeing as it's possible proof of Chris hypnotizing someone into believing Chris is a good person. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
::What are you talking about? --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 20:13, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
* Most upsetting Bob oriented thing to date. He's equally responsible for Chris growing up to be a useless sack of shit. I liked the world better when I thought it was all Barb's fault. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 19:06, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
** It's the final proof that Chris's vague understanding of reality and tendency towards conspiracy are just him puppetting his senile father and white trash mother. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 20:04, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
Who is that at the end? Sounds like Chris but...really off... - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 20:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
* Snorlaxicus Maximus. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 20:04, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
** Oh snap! So is this her longest appearance in recorded media? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 20:06, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** This needs to get transcribed, this is really good material. [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 20:13, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

==File format==
Could someone with a converter link to an mp3 version of the file? None of the media players on my computer support .ogg files. [[User:Ganondorfdude11|Ganondorfdude11]] 19:47, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

*Use VLC, dude.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:48, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Mass debating

2010-08-15T06:08:58Z

Notslowpoke: /* Misattribution */

Talk:A Girl Who Brought Down the World

2010-08-12T05:59:53Z

Notslowpoke:

==To do==
*add cover from vivian's Deviant Art
*plot summary
*Chris's exact comments on it (I know he's said that he likes the cover and he expressed concerns about being charged for it).
*how it relates to Chris (pretty obvious but doesn't hurt). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:19, 12 February 2009 (CET)

==Character List?==

Is a character list really necessary? This article is already going to be ''really'' long by the time I finish writing up the plot summary section, and I feel like I'm doing a satisfactory job of briefly explaining who all of the characters are as I move through that. I appreciate [[User:Megapicklezord|Megapicklezord]]'s dedication to the cause, but maybe such efforts could be better directed elsewhere. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 13:56, 30 May 2009 (CEST)

:*The further I've gotten into my plot summary, the more convinced I've become that a character list is entirely redundant. So, I've now deleted that entire section. If anyone has a problem with that, they can go back to an earlier version of the page and restore the list, but I think it would be much smarter to just incorporate what few useful elements of that section there were into the summary section. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 04:02, 5 June 2009 (CEST)

*I think a character list is warranted and makes a nice summary of who people represent in the comic, or at least the major characters can be mentioned (like Kid, Chris, etc.). You needn't go into details about every individual character but the major ones should be listed, their role in the story, etc. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:03, 5 June 2009 (CEST)

==chris "read" it===
check vivian saga topic on pvcc for more details but...

ugh [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:36, 25 July 2009 (CEST)
:*PVCC is not a publicly available source and you should know that, Clyde. Not everyone here can read it :p. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:35, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

==Move to Fan index==
Yes, Vivian wrote it but overall in the huge scheme of things, this is really not something that is crucial to know about in better to understand Chris. Clyde might be upset, given he's close friends with Vivian, but nonetheless, I think this should really go in the Fan index as for the most part, this is really just a fan work that managed to elicit some response from Chris. Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:35, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
:Agreed. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 22:12, 11 August 2010 (PDT)
::Agreed. [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 22:59, 11 August 2010 (PDT)

User talk:CypherFDP

2010-08-06T02:52:25Z

Notslowpoke:

{{Welcome}}
[[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 19:52, 5 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:IRC:Contents

2010-08-06T02:47:32Z

Notslowpoke:

i keep disconnecting for no reason[[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 22:35, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I've never actually seen anyone on the IRC. Ever. [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 11:02, 1 August 2010 (EST)
*You're not doing it right. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 03:09, 2 August 2010 (UTC)
**On the occasions I've tried, I followed the Mibbit link, but I've never seen anyone. [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 8:56, 5 August 2010 (EST)
***There's always a few people in the channel. Perhaps you're connecting wrong? [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 19:47, 5 August 2010 (PDT)

CWCki:Policy

2010-07-28T03:22:05Z

Notslowpoke:

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
For discussion of CWCki policy and rules.

== Fan Works policy ==

right now there aren't really any rules regards what can and cannot go in the fan namespace. this is because i trusted users to judge for themselves whether or not their work belonged on the cwcki. so, let's get its purpose straight: fan works was meant to be PVCC's troll productions subforum, but public. it is not, however, a mirror site incase deviantart goes down. i feel that some individuals are forgetting that this is a wiki about CWC. now, it's quite tricky to say what can and cannot be hosted here. there are very few examples of things being uploaded that are completely unrelated to chris or sonichu. however, i will try my best to clarify what is appropriate.

'''Examples of good fanworks:'''
* A drawing of CWC saying DYKES DYKES CHINA being placed into the "CWC's Second Message" article
* An "artist's depiction" of something we have no pictures of but how it may have looked, i.e. Chris in the mall with his attraction sign, Chris using his "red string of fate", Chris's IRL confrontation with Mary Lee Walsh, [[Fapcup]], etc
* Comics what are actually funny

'''Examples of bad fanworks:'''
* A Sonichu comic depicting how you think Sonichu should have been
* Shitty recolored Sonichu and Rosechu "original characters"
* Your shitty fursona with a Sonichu tail shoved up its ass

to summarise, i think the distinction lies in whether or not it is actually related to ''chris''. there are lots of things related to sonichu, many of which include chris, but are actually disconnected from chris's antics themselves. i don't think these are appropriate for this wiki, and i see their numbers increasing(although i would like to refrain from naming names).

please discuss any changes or clarifications that you wish made, however i would like to implement these new rules by the end of the week. if a user feels their own uploads were, in light of these policy changes, in error then they can remove them now to save the jerkops the trouble of removing them later.

PEACE, AND HAVE A GOOD DAY --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 21:59, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

Just out of curiosity, could we see just what works are and are not on the chopping block? Just so we can see where we stand on this. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:54, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
* i guess it might be useful to have a template for that --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:26, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

No. When the purge is complete you will know exactly where you stand. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:07, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Um, does one need any kind of admin status to delete files? I'm trying to figure this out. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:32, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

===Just who decides what's worthy?===
I can get behind the fact that you want this wiki to be about Chris, with his Sonichu works simply being an extension of him. What bothers me is how all this hate coming from users complaining about fan works they simply don't care for. If fan works are removed all together from here, I'd be alright with that. But when someone said "all Sonichu-related works need to go, except the ones I like!" it seems more like favoritism rather than objective policy. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 00:13, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Agreed, though I myself am hardly unbiased. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 00:28, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Yes, it's almost like this wiki is run by trolls who cae not for your feelings.--[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 01:47, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Just because we troll Chris doesn't mean we can't deal with each other in a civilized manner. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 02:42, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

You don't troll shit, spud. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 02:44, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Can anything be done on this site without creating a shitstorm? This isn't some crusade against drawfags, and it shouldn't be painted as such by EITHER side. The site is about Chris, and the large amount of coverage on his creations is only because they made up such a large part of his life. The CWCki isn't about Sonichu, it's about Chris. Maybe some exceptions can be made, but for now fanworks not directly about Chris need to go. I myself enjoy many, especially Fear and Loathing in CWCville, but unless it is used to successfully troll Chris, it doesn't belong here.
Thing is, we need a peaceful resolution to this. Shit with faggot users and /cwc/ is bad enough, we don't need this to blow up. Maybe exceptional fanworks can be allowed; if not, they can be hosted on DA, or perhaps a site devoted to Sonichu. The artists and fans need to remember that this isn't an attack against their work, it's just policy. Users who want to be active in the execution of this policy need to not be dicks about it, and be responsible about it. It's not "deleting shit one doesn't like," it's removing unnecessary images and articles. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 02:58, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
:Well, like I've said before, I will print out every page, bind it, and mail it to him when I'm finished. Which should be in two weeks or so. If my works are deleted before then, I'm not going to worry too much. In fact, it wouldn't bother me much at all if the entire fan section was removed and all fan art was deleted. I'm just a little put off from the vitriol a lot of the critics are spewing. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
::You think he's going to read it, that's cute. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:36, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Maybe, maybe not, what's the harm in trying? The most it'll cost me is a few bucks in postage. Well, that and the markers. Now I understand why he textwalls so much, those things dry out quick! :P --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:49, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

That makes sense. I could totally get on board starting a new site just to host these things. If we do so, though, we need clearly-defined criteria as to what gets to stay. Limiting ourselves to stuff Chris has seen would be fair, but it would need to be absolutely enforced. Which is to say, we couldn't have a page on ''Chris Gets Laid'', excellent though it is, unless he himself responded to it in some way. -[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 03:31, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

You could do that. That's entirely acceptable, as it focuses on Chris and its activities. What you couldn't do is a story about a Sonichu recolor having some dumb adventure while Chris gets laid as a side-story. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 03:37, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Well by those rules, we'd have to delete the page on ''Sonichu Is Dead'', because Chris barely appears in it. We need a single, objective policy for what gets to stay and what doesn't, regardless of quality. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 11:40, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I agree that there has to be some kind of objective criteria, not just what largely seems to be "Your fic/comic is bad, and you should feel bad, ur a furfag lawl." If you want to cut fics because the Fan section is getting out of hand, fine. Just come up with a standard that makes sense and enforce it. If the "How you think Sonichu should have been" rule is enforced, then the entire fan section will be pretty much gutted. If we go with the "About Chris not Sonichu", well pretty much every fic has Chris' Mary Sue Avatar Combined with his real self on there, so where's the line? Is it IRL Chris, or Comic Chris? [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 16:41, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*That's why I think limiting ourselves to stuff to which Chris has responded makes the most sense. He either did, or he didn't, and there are no shades of grey. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 02:05, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

*As I've said elsewhere, I personally think the Fan Works index is more of a hassle than it's worth and we should get rid of it. Clyde has suggested a separate wiki and I think that might be the best solution. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:47, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
** I would agree that a second site for fan works would probably be the best course of action. However, I think we should consider keeping notable fanworks (that is, those that Chris has responded to) here on the CWCki. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 17:16, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
***This site is for things that have trolled Chris, so we should absolutely keep them. However, I notice that lots of things that don't fit those guidelines have survived the purge. Why? --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 15:22, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

=== Re:Examples of bad fanworks ===

Most of the fan works don't seem to fall in any of those categories. Is there something else that's a problem?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*No, a lot of the admins are just fickle, want things they specifically don't like deleted no matter if there was a good reason or not, and don't seem to realize that trolls don't necessarily have to be asses to anyone and everyone. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 12:35, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
* Right. It's that, it has nothing to do with an overwhelming majority of it being some sick fucks fantasy and has virtually or literally nothing to do with Chris. They're just angry, angry DAMN DIRTY SLANDEROUS TROLLS. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:12, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

* To avoid altercations like this, I would delete the index entirely. Simply put, there are other, far more suitable venues to put this, so you won't ever have to lapse into offended rage, or conversely, argue with trolls sticking their 'n***** noses' in your business. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:31, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

=== Dumb suggestion ===

Why couldn't we just grandfather stuff in? --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 12:59, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

=== my suggestion ===

wipe everything and start a new wiki because i'm cutting down everything that's eating up resources. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:31, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*people should pay attention to me more. also pay attention to me. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:48, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I like this idea. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 17:00, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

i've been considering moving to a new version of mediawiki, but might as well wait for 1.16 to reach stable. this should go on technical though i guess --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 19:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

===Guys===
The admins are at liberty to delete whatever the fuck they don't like. It just so happens they don't like torture porn involving Sonees and Roseys and comics intended to piss Chris off a la Asperchu. I know Asperchu gave you all hope for your fan comics and getting into the annals of troll history, but Asperchu happened because until then no one had attempted anything like it. The way to get into troll history is not to follow in the footsteps of more famous trolls, but to find areas of Chris's psyche no one has prodded before and poke the shit out of them until you get an angry YouTube video. If you really really REALLY still want your fics visible on the internet, make your own Sonichu site for fanworks or join a preexisting one, such as [http://caferosechu.110mb.com/index.html Cafe Rosechu] (which is run by the girl who made Capering Berries). ... As for the underage guro, fucking stop. That's disgusting. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 22:09, 17 July 2010 (UTC)
* What he said. --[[User:Inos|Inos]] 07:58, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

===Looks like you missed something===
Both the [http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/Category:Fear_and_Loathing_in_CWCville|category] and [[Fan talk:Fear and Loathing in CWCville|talk page]] for my crap remains, as well as all the pages I uploaded. I'll take care of it... if someone can tell me how to delete pages. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 22:37, 27 July 2010 (UTC)

==Harassment and NPOV==

Recent events have brought up these issues, so let's address them.

First, let's do our best to aim for some semblance of [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Neutral point of view|NPOV]]. Things considered by us to be good humored may not be taken that way by others. So yeah, try not to insult other sites, users, etc.

Harassment - yes, there are fuckwits on this wiki. There's fuckwits on any wiki. But don't point it out to them. People need to be able to edit without fear of harassment from others for their users. It's one thing to tell someone they're wrong or being just stupid, it's another to tell them they're now under watch by a group of people with various intents. I really can't ago against Cogs, as she has different ideas how to run the CWCki than I do, and she is the site owner, but please don't harass other users. If they're stupid, just point it out and explain calmly why but telling them they're fuckwits is no way to do it. Srsly, I expect a bit more from you people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:16, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

I concur with the statement about NPOV. When i edit articles that's usually what I'm going for. The CWCville article was ridiculous and full of shit that just wasn't the case, as are a great many articles. People making jokes and idle speculation at the expense of reality.

So kids, keep the memes out, and if a facet of Chris' mind or life is an unknown leave it that way instead of inserting your own idle speculation. We're here to document the real CWC (and related fictions about CWC created by the real CWC), not to create our own CWC. [[User:DrShoggoth|Dr. Herodotus P. Shoggoth :Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences, Medallion Guardian, Imperial Emu, Emeritus of the Ancient and Justified Order of the Turtle]] 00:15, 15 July 2010 (UTC)

So, essentially, kill them gently? --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:28, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

*I've been thinking that maybe the best solution at this point would be to prohibit any discussion of matters unrelated to Chris and the CWCki, even on your own user page. Thus, many of the members who had been harassed or whatever in the past would probably have never been targeted in the first place. Granted, I would prefer if we didn't have to limit the users right to say what they want, and it would certainly be a pain in the ass to enforce,but could potentially prevent most if not all of the harassment issues. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 21:47, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
:*This wouldn't be an entirely bad idea, given that I know Wikipedia has basic rules about user pages, namely it's used to discuss one's contributions to Wikipedia and nothing more. Good thinking.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:18, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
*It might also help if suggesting that we resolve a bureaucratic issue without resulting to namecalling [[User_talk:DrShoggoth|didn't result in vague threats.]] --[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 22:03, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
**agreed. I'm not exactly the biggest contributor on here, but even I've seen Delabonte threatening others for asking him to be a bit less abrasive in his messages, asking why exactly they were in trouble for something, or even not sharing the same opinion as him. Why does this guy get away with it? Also, I don't care if he's "respected by Cogs" as has been said, that doesn't mean he should be allowed to abuse his position, spam angry templates on other people's accounts just because he doesn't like them, and generally treat everyone else like shit. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 00:03, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I agree on this policy. This kind of harassment brings down CWCki's appearance in a whole. It makes us look less like a reputable source on an autistic manchild and more like a restricted community of threatening rep destruction and overenforced rules. There is no need to attack innocents just for casual talk or for living certain lifestyles, it's just plain wrong in general. Delabonte is just a person who feels privileged and like he needs to point out things about people and act like he needs to be a Jr. Mod of sorts. To be frank, this is annoying and just rude. I'm a member of many places, but never once have I done anything like go out and go "OH NO THAT'S NOT FOLLOWING '''MY''' RULES TEMPLATE ''TEMPLATE'' ''' ''TEMPLATE'' '''!" and not a lot of people here have before. It's inappropriate, immature and quite low IQed. So, in conclusion, and tl;dr: Agree with idea, down with empty threated non-mod steam-filled members. --[[User:Eniggy|Sen. John Eniggy, finishing opening statements for case on the Congressional floor]] 04:48, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* Not to be a jackass or anything, but try and keep in mind where you are. This is a website dedicated to trolling an autistic manchild. Many of the people here are involved with other trolling operations and such. Lots of trolls like to target furrys. By ousting yourself as a furry here you're essentially making yourself a black man at a Ku Klux Klan rally. Not saying that all of this harassment should have occurred, but it certainly wasn't unforeseeable to the victims. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 05:36, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
::::*ThatMan has nailed why Delabonte and others feel warranted in acting like they do and this is pretty much the justification for some of Cog's and Clyde's actions here. Remember, this is a critical site of Chris, essentially out to troll him, and so you're not going to be attracting the same sort of people to edit as say, Wikipedia. I can talk to Delabonte about shit.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:09, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Actually, I'm not a furry (they scare me, to be quite honest- I'd sooner run through traffic and fling myself off a highway bridge than be one) but the point here, as shown by your post is, is about the exploits of Chris and the trolls who have trolled him, not a place for people to use trolling to vent their anger upon here. I don't support weeabooism, but I also don't support using CWCki as a stress ball. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 05:47, 15 July 2010 (UTC)

I agree. Also, Chris is a particularly bad furry, so bashing them is arguably part of our mission. We shouldn't get carried away, but I don't think anybody would object to the occasional snippy comment. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 21:43, 17 July 2010 (UTC)

== User pages for banned users ==

Anyone opposed to not having user pages for banned users? Seems to be taking up space and seems sorta silly. I once said something along the lines of "To serve an example" or something but now I think it's just a waste of space. Anyone opposed to deleting user pages of permanently banned user? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:51, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
:No objections here. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 23:59, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
:Depends on the user. I see no problem in deleting some of IBAGeneva's accounts, but we should keep a couple of examples (maybe between five and ten?).--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] forgot to sign
:I would agree that we should just delete their pages so as to not waste space, but is there any way we could possibly mark that they were banned when their signature is shown on talk pages and stuff like that? I just feel like this would help prevent any potential confusion between users who are banned and users who don't have user pages. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 01:00, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
:*A short page about wby they were banned sounds good. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:25, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
::That actually gives me a better idea, maybe their could be a page of banned users, with notes showing the reason for why they were banned. When a user is banned, their userpage could just be a redirect to this page.--[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 05:20, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
:::fuck what I was about to say, the best balance between saving space and giving good examples of what not to do would probably be to do what ThatMan suggested. ThatMan, you have done a great service for the operation of the CWCki. I salute you, good sir. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 05:22, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
*Well that settles it. People, you have 24 hours to make a page (in the CWCki namespace) with a list of banned users and their rationale. In 24 hours, I will delete all the banned user userpages.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:38, 16 July 2010 (UTC)--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:38, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
:*I'll do what I can. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 11:26, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
:*My lord, it is [[CWCki:Banned_Users|done.]] --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 12:28, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

== Userboxes ==

I think the usage of them is getting a bit out of control.

As I see it:
# unless you have a very convincing reason why a userbox should be on the main namespace, it really should be on a user's subpage.
# we get rid of some of the categories of of userboxes - it's handy to know which CWCki users are also PVCC members, it's not quite as important to know which CWCki users practice martial arts.

Thoughts? Any justifications why we should keep userboxes as they are? Personally I'm tempted to say that we should make user boxes as part of one's user subpage or at least remove the categories for most of these.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:17, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
:I think they need to be culled. Specifically, the ones that don't have anything to do with Chris.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:37, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
::Either way is fine. They're not exactly a big part of the site. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:18, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
:Sorry about that. I'll keep my own userbox whoring under control. Just thought I was [[fail|being clever]] at making more Chris jokes. (Keep in mind that I didn't add all those userboxes indicating race/gender/and religion, though I did modify the one for my own race.
:But I think the "Armchair psychologist" could be kept for some practical use, like a <s>barnstar</s> award for those who have contributed much analysis of Chris's mindset. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 16:57, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
:I think Nationality might be useful, if only to establish about what time said user would be active. But stuff like cats, or naive, etc. have no practical use. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 20:54, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
:: Why not just have time zone stamps then? Honestly I've thought that these userboxes were stupid for a while, glad to see I'm not alone in that. Honestly only a select few of them really seem necessary. Other than ones related to staff positions held by certain members and perhaps something useful such as what Bill Lumberg brought up, none of them really serve any meaningful purpose. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 00:31, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
:::*Obviously not all of them have to be useful, as some of them are just fun and a way to encourage people to edit the CWCki. A time zone stamp would be good, though the nationality userboxes tend to be more flavorful (i.e. it's funnier to say something about the fact you're an American than you live in GMT -5). Some could in theory be useful - if you're a drawfag, then people can ask you to draw stuff for articles and whatnot.
::::Problem people are having is that people are getting carried away - do people really need to know you're a Zoroastiarian? Do people need to know you're a weaboo who's into manga moreso than anime? I think in general, we need to work on making pages, in the style of Wikipedia, serve as a way of describing one's contributions ''to the CWCki,'' not just a "about yourself" page.
::::There's nothing wrong with the userboxes, like I said, it's people getting carried away is what seems to be troubling.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:08, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::So where do we draw the line? I think that's the real problem; there's no set limit to what the userboxes should be for. Having "flavorful" userboxes tends to be a gray area that needs some definition. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 16:18, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
* It should be pretty simple: keep the nationality boxes, Warrior, Observer, and the like, and the awards. We don't need to know if you're straight or gay or if you're Christian or atheist. We just need where you're from, and what you're doing here. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 17:10, 23 July 2010 (UTC)

==Fuckwit Alert template ==

I propose we remove the Fuckwit Alert userbox or whatever it's called. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:24, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
:*I am happy to do the removing myself--[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:29, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
::Sounds like a good idea, go for it [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 03:22, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

File talk:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg

2010-07-17T04:24:02Z

Notslowpoke:

Dear god, did Chris tuck in his jacket?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:53, 28 November 2009 (CET)

Kinda looks like babby. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 04:17, 17 July 2010 (UTC)

How is it that both Bob and Chris look the same in this picture as they do now? [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 04:24, 17 July 2010 (UTC)

List of fictional characters guest appearing in Sonichu

2010-07-06T05:37:57Z

Notslowpoke: /* Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik */

[[Image:Bugsbunny.jpg|thumb|Yeah, doc, how dare you use other people's characters without their permission?]]
One of the hallmarks of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' series is its frequent use of guest appearances by fictional characters from other properties. The following is a list of these characters.

Note that this list is '''not''' intended to include any of the following:

* Characters based upon real-life people, such as [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[B-Manajerk]].
* Characters created by people other than Chris but basically intended for the comic, like [[Megagi]] and [[Jiggliami]].
* Fan characters and parodies that Chris has chosen to acknowledge, like [[Simonchu]] and [[Asperchu]].
* Thinly-veiled ripoffs of existing characters, like [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Simonla]], [[G.D.W. Shinabe]]...well, you get the idea.

{{TOC limit|2}}

==Sonic the Hedgehog franchise==

===Sonic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog}}

Sega mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic (aside from Sonichu). He makes a few appearances in the comic. Most notably in the first issue, as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence, as described below. He also shows up to help Sonichu again in [[Sonichu 1]], after Rosechu gets kidnapped. [[Women's rights|Again]].

Sonic also appears on the front cover of [[Sonichu 11]], and is thought to be returning for the '10 year anniversary.'

===Amy Rose===
{{main|Amy Rose}}
[[File:Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|200px|thumb|'I had no idea that the [[Metal Gear Solid|Les Enfants Terribles Project]] had gone this far!']]

[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s love interest. Amy Rose in the [[video games]] is a 12 year old fangirl who has an obsessive crush on Sonic and often pursues him on his adventures to try and get his attention and appreciation.

That said, she at least does something in the video games, and often helps out the rest of the heroes on their quest, such as in ''Sonic Adventure'', where she singlehandedly defeated the Zero robot and in ''Sonic Adventure 2'', where she broke into a military base and freed a captured Sonic. In ''Sonichu,'' however, all her personality is gone and she is just as vapid and useless and stereotypical as any rosechu. She shows up for a couple of pages in [[Issue 1]] where she talks with Rosechu at CWCville Mall about meaningless bullshit.

===Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik===
{{main|Doctor Robotnik}}
[[File:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|right|Even Eggman was never this flamboyant.]]
Recurring villain of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] games. A mad genius with an IQ of 300, 'Dr. Eggman', as he is known, has tried to conquer the world multiple times, in an effort to build his own nation of robotic followers; Eggmanland. In ''Sonichu'', however, he shows up to help Giovanni devise a trap for Sonichu and later helps to try and take over CWCville with the PVCC. Why he would ever bother with trivial things such as catching pokemon, or why he has any kind of grudge against [[Chris and his ego|Chris of all people]] is a mystery that not even [[GodJesus]] could solve.

Also of note is that in the games, Eggman has a fleet of thousands of battleships, billions of robots, including elite androids based on [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] and the nigh unstoppable E-Series robots, as well as gigantic controllable mechs, and of course Metal Sonic. Not only this, but he also has access to multiple doomsday weapons, not least of all Space Colony ARK and a huge satellite, (As seen in ''Sonic Unleashed'') that could blow the fucking planet into pieces. In spite of having this MASSIVE load of firepower, he has used NONE of it in his battle against Chris. Not even a single Egg Pawn.

===Shadow the Hedgehog===
{{main|Shadow the Hedgehog|Christian & The Hedgehog Boys}}

The Ultimate Life Form created by Dr. Gerald Robotnik, this [[stress|angst-filled]] hedgehog is the focal point of a number of Sonic games made in the mid-2000s and is the inspiration of Blake. Despite not appearing in the comics proper, Shadow DOES make an appearance in an ad for Christian and the Hedgehog Boys' solo album.

===Mighty the Armadillo===

Mistakenly spelled "Mighty the Arm'''or'''dillo" by Chris, Mighty is a supporting character from the [[Sonic The Hedgehog]] video games, including "Knuckles Chaotix" and "SegaSonic The Hedgehog". Due to his relative obscurity and passing resemblance to more popular Sonic characters, Mighty may be misidentified by ''Sonichu'' readers as another one of Chris's crappy "original" characters.

When Chris travels back in time to relive the moment he "created" [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], he recalls that he would often imagine Sonic characters acting out scenes in the books he read. According to Chris, he was reading a "Fear Street" novel by R.L. Stine, imagining Mighty as one of the characters, when he was struck on the head by a basketball, and at the same moment, imagined an orange version of Sonic emerging from a locker door where Mighty was standing.

===Perfect Chaos Monster===
[[Image:Perfect_Chaos.jpg|thumb|right|Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonic X'' vs Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonichu''. Kinda lost his luster, huh?]]

'''Perfect Chaos''', or [[CWC-isms|"Perfect Chaos Monster"]] as Chris calls him, is the final form of Chaos, a villain introduced in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''. Composed of a liquid substance, Chaos assumes multiple shapes as it acquires the seven Chaos Emeralds, absorbing their negative energy to increase its power. Upon obtaining all seven, Chaos becomes '''Perfect Chaos''', a serpentine creature of massive size, and proceeds to destroy the city of [[Station Square]]. Sonic defeats Perfect Chaos by utilizing the ''positive'' energy of the Chaos Emeralds, which transforms him into Super Sonic.

This battle was adapted by Chris to provide the background for the origin of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in the [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of his [[Sonichu (comic)|new comic book series]]. The ''Sonichu'' series begins with a male [[Pikachu]] wandering into Station Square in the middle of a fight between Super Sonic and Perfect Chaos, whom Chris identifies as the "Perfect Chaos Monster". During the fight, Sonic accidentally collides with the Pikachu, somehow triggering an [[Rainbow|unexplained phenomenon]] which imparts Sonic's appearance and powers upon the Pikachu. The new Pikachu/Sonic hybrid awakens to find Sonic has still not defeated Perfect Chaos, and rushes to his aid. Using his new-found powers, he defeats the monster, and the onlookers, who mistake him for Sonic's super form, credit Sonic for the victory (retconning the ''Sonic Adventure'' game so that Sonic is [[Chris and his ego|little more than an assistant to Chris's original character]]). Contemplating his new form, the mutated Pikachu adopts the name "Sonichu", and returns to the wild. After that, Perfect Chaos is never mentioned again in the pages of ''Sonichu''.

==Pokémon==

:''See [[Pokémon#Pokémon characters appearing in Sonichu comics]]''

==Gilligan's Island==

[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|200px|The "S" in "Sonichu" stands for "Subtlety".]]
In ''[[Sonichu 8]]'', Chris sought to humiliate his arch-nemesis [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] with a scathing [[parody]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. In a feeble attempt to be coy, Chris refrained from identifying Howell in the comic right away, instead referring to him only as Jason, followed by a clever cameo appearance to hint at his last name. Since no [[anime]] or ''[[Family Guy]]'' characters are named "Howell", this forced Chris to delve into legitimate pop culture, and soon he found '''Thurston Howell III''' and '''Lovey Howell''', the elitist millionaire couple on the classic TV series ''Gilligan's Island''. Chris is probably blissfully unaware that the joke will probably sail very far over the heads of his target demographic, and he's also unaware that there are countries on GodJesus's green earth where the show hasn't aired for decades. Or ever.

Appearing outside the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, Thurston chides Lovey for forgetting her purse, to which Lovey explains that she had grown used to neglecting it from their time stranded upon the island. Chris then challenges the reader to guess Jason's last name, a pointless exercise, as Chris had already mentioned "Jason Kendrick Howell" several times on his [[Sonichu (website)|website]], [[YouTube]] videos, and anywhere other public forum available to him in [[2008]].

==[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]==

For no obvious reason, William Spicer is depicted in [[Sonichu 5]] as the Yu-Gi-Oh! character Jack's Knight. His role is extremely limited, as Chris foresees him being brutally murdered by [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and rushes to avert this tragedy. Jack's Knight proves to be a lumbering moron, unable to save his bride [[Sarah Hammer]] from Wes-Li or do much of anything but wait for Chris to defeat the villain.

==Others==

* A beloved American cartoon icon for decades, representative of the wacky World War II propaganda cartoons and the early 20th century vaudeville theater, '''Bugs Bunny''' appeared briefly in [[Sonichu 10]] to scold [[Jimmy Hill]] for his [[Parody|infringement]] upon [[Sonichu]]'s [[Chris and Copyright|copyright]]. This is a subtle reference to Mr. Hill's conviction over bootlegging Warner Bros. merchandise in Europe years earlier.

* The Skelevision and the Ghost Buggy are borrowed from [[Ghostbusters|Filmation's Ghostbusters]] cartoon for the infamous "[[Family Guy]] skitch" in [[Sonichu 7]]. Ghost Buggy in particular has secured his place in Sonichu lore.

* In a nod to the ''[[Futurama]]: Bender's Big Score'' DVD, Bender is seen careening through the [[time void]] in [[Sonichu 7]].

* [[Beavis and Butt-head]] make a brief cameo in [[Sonichu 7]].

* From [[Transformers]], both [[Optimus Prime]] and [[Megatron]] have appeared in the comics to callously murder innocents.

* Sackboy from [[Little Big Planet]] pops up in [[Sonichu 10]] to warn readers not to bootleg his game.

* In [[Sonichu 8]] Chris alludes to his discovery that [[Blanca]] was a [[troll]] by depicting her true for as, well, the troll from the 1986 movie ''Troll''

* After Chris and Ivy's wedding in [[Sonichu Special 1]], [[My Little Pony]] is used to draw their carriage.

* [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] seemingly appears in [[Sonichu 10]] to fulfill a romantic fantasy of Chris's--that is, his fantasy to kiss [[Silvana|a hedgehog with a penis]].

{{sonichu}}

[[Category: Lists]][[Category: Characters]][[Category: Things Chris has ripped off]]

User:Notslowpoke

2010-06-30T17:55:27Z

Notslowpoke:

I lurk.
I don't edit often.
I'm not Slowpoke.
I'm DrV on Rizon.

That's about it.

User:Notslowpoke

2010-03-03T02:33:22Z

Notslowpoke: Created page with 'I lurk. I don't edit often. I'm not Slowpoke. That's about it.'

I lurk.
I don't edit often.
I'm not Slowpoke.

That's about it.