CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris in the media

2011-12-30T06:02:50Z

Obi-Wan Kerfuffle: /* Slylock Fox */ Fixed outside link to the full Slylock Fox image.

[[Chris]], being an attention whore of sorts, has frequently managed to find himself in the '''media''' spotlight. Television, newspapers, magazines and, of course, the internet - if Chris can find some way to earn his 15 minutes of fame, he'll do it.

==Traditional Media==
===Richmond Times-Dispatch===

{{main|IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES}}

In 1993, the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' newspaper ran an article detailing how Chris changed his name from "Christopher" to the more well-known "Christian". This is Chris's first known appearance in the media.

===Sonic The Hedgehog Watch And Win Sweepstakes===

{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes}}

Chris's second appearance in the media was a news report in 1994 chronicling Chris's first victory, winning a contest celebrating one of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoons.

===Chris Chan in the PokéNews===

{{main|Chris Chan in the PokéNews}}

In 1999, Chris made his third appearance in a news report on the growing success of the Pokémon Trading Card Game. He was 17 at the time, and he was playing Pokémon cards with [[Pedofork|kids as young as 8]].

===Nintendo Power Magazine===

{{main|Nintendo Power Magazine}}

Twice, Chris has used the magazine ''Nintendo Power'' to get himself attention. First was a letter Chris wrote telling Nintendo how he used a [[Sprung|video game]] to cure his [[Noviophobia|fear of talking to girls]]. The second time detailed Chris's Animal Crossing video, though there he was known as [[Sonichu]], not Chris.

===Shoujo Beat===

{{main|Shoujo Beat}}

Chris sent a letter to an anime-themed magazine that got published in its November [[2005]] issue. In it, he complains about [[JERKS]] taking away all the pretty [[boyfriend-free girl]]s and leaving him to be a [[Virgin With Rage|lonely virgin]]. A response was published in the March [[2006]] issue, in which the writer instructs Chris on the error of his ways.

=== WBCN Toucher and Rich ===

{{main|Toucher and Rich Segment}}

On 12 [[May 2009]] Chris's antics became so famous that it sparked the interest of a radio ([http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145 podcast]) in Boston. The whole media furor was sparked by the [[I Got A Fish]] video. However, most of the show covered Chris's videos addressed to [[Ivy]].

=== KROQ The Kevin and Bean Show===

{{main|The Kevin and Bean Show Segment}}

One of Chris's [[Captain's Log]]s is dissected by the hosts Kevin and Bean. Notably, the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video in question]] required ''a full two minutes'' dedicated to disclaimers, as well as censoring of [[Semen#Recycling|certain]] [[Honest content|unairable]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|acts]] .

=== Web Soup ===

{{main|For G4s Web Soup}}

Once again, Chris's I Got A Fish video was briefly featured, this time on [[Wikipedia:G4 (TV channel)|G4]]'s ''[[Wikipedia:Web Soup|Web Soup]]'' on 2 [[July 2009]]. While the segment lasted less than 30 seconds, Chris initially felt honored and used the opportunity to try to score some [[china]]. Days later, Chris realizes that ''Web Soup'' is a show devoted to making fun of [[Slow-in-the-minds|stupid people]] on the internet like himself.

=== Slylock Fox ===
[[File:SonichuSlylockFox25Sep2011.JPG|thumb|115px|"Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9"]]
On 25 September 2011, Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids, a comic strip strip published by King Features Syndicate, [http://content.comicskingdom.net/Slylock/Slylock.20110925.gif featured a black-and-white image] of [[Sonichu]] in the "Your Drawing" panel. The illustration, which ran in thousands of papers nationwide, was accompanied by text, which read: "Today's terrific artist is Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9." It is unknown if Chris submitted it himself or if this is the work of [[trolls]]. The strip's author, Bob Weber Jr., admitted on the [http://joshreads.com/?p=10951#comment-1014594 Comics Curmudgeon blog] that he fully believed that the "artist" was 9 years old (rather than 29) when he selected the drawing out of the dozens that are submitted to the strip every week.

=== Opie & Anthony Show ===
The Opie & Anthony Show on Sirius XM satellite radio which is broadcasted to 18.5 million units did a commentary segment on Christian's video response to drinking his own cum and shitting his adult diapers. It is unknown whether the man child has realized that his autistic antics have technically been broadcasted to low earth orbit.
{{Infobox/video
|name= Opie and Anthony: Chris Chan
|video= {{#ev:youtube|gLYvMLHZfFo}}
}}

==Internet Media==

===Fark.com===
The world-renown Internet portal [http://www.fark.com/cgi/vidplayer.pl?IDLink=4369161|Fark linked] to [[ECV 00095]] on 5 [[May 2009]].

{{quote|You don't need to search any longer, the [[The Creepy Stare|creepiest]] person on the internet has been found|A Farker}}

===Heavy.com===
Chris tops the site's list of the 20 Worst Internet Losers, posted 13 [[July 2010]].

{{quote|There could be no other choice to close out this list. [[Christian Weston Chandler]], aka Chris-Chan, is like every horrible thing about the Internet made flesh. [[14 Branchland Court|Lives]] with his [[Bob Chandler|par]][[Barbara Chandler|ents]], sponges off the [[monthly tugboat|government]] and uses the cash for [[PS3|PlayStation 3]] games and [[sex toys]], walks around the [[Fashion Square Mall|mall]] with his Game Boy [[love quest|looking for girlfriends]], posts incoherent YouTube videos of himself [[For Julie's Eyes Only|humping an anime bodypillow]] and yelling “Oh, [[Julie]],” the list will go on forever. C.W.C. is the ''ne plus ultra'' of Web losers.|Heavy.com, [http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/the-20-worst-internet-losers/4/ 20 Worst Internet Losers]}}

===Harry Partridge===
[[Image:HappyHarryRosechu.jpg|thumb|125px|"Actually, it is excellent; I would not change a thing about it." -Chris, [[Mailbag 9]]]]
Animator Harry Partridge (best known for his [[parody|slanderous mockery]] [[Wikipedia:Saturday Morning Watchmen|Saturday Morning ''Watchmen'']]) has made several references to Chris and Sonichu, the first of which being a [http://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/happyharry/rosechu drawing] of [[Rosechu]] uploaded to Newgrounds. An animated version of Chris appears briefly in the animated cartoon short "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesaA Nicolas Cage Wants Cake]", which is a musical remix of a scene from the film [[Family Guy|The Family Man]]. This may be the only Youtube video he is featured in that wasn't uploaded by Chris or a troll. In the animated short "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9eGtyqz4gY Skyrim]", a Virginia license plate reading "SONICHU" can be seen in the background during the first scene. In the Followup, "Song of Skyrim", Chris makes a brief cameo in the crowd scene.

When [http://animationaficionados.com/2011/08/23/episode-35-harry-partridge/ interviewing] Harry Partridge on Animation Aficionados, the hosts asked Harry about Chris's cameos in some of his videos(from 0:19:43). The discussion the hosts have with Harry about Chris is quite lengthy, during which Mr. Partridge admits that he is "obsessed with him":

{{Quote|1=I really am obsessed with him... I check [[CWCki|''Sonichu.com'']], the wiki about Chris-chan and his weird life, if not daily, every couple of hours... there must be more written about Chris-chan than George Washington. |2=Harry Partridge|3=}}

===Atop the Fourth Wall===
Comic reviewer Linkara goes on a brief tirade in his video [http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html Top 15 Things I Will Never Review] about [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] on the subject of webcomics at the 24 minute mark.

{{quote|"But wait," the internet cried back, "let me tell you about the horror that is... Sonichu!" Yes people, I have heard of Sonichu. I really wish I hadn't heard of Sonichu. I would be a much happier man if I hadn't.|Linkara}}

Linkara didn't want to review ''Sonichu'' because he didn't want to engage in potential drama. At the end of the video, he uses Weird Al's "Do I Creep You Out" as the credits music, a possible jab at Chris.

===RayWilliamJohnson===
In one episode of =3, I will end you, Ray made fun of Chris's habit of drinking his cum. Though he never gave Chris's name, (referring to him as 'your average star-trek nerd) he did provide a link to Chris's old channel. This is one of the few videos about Chris not made by a troll.

===Something Awful===
The [http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/sonic-the-hog.php last episode] of Something Awful's “Webcam Ward” is a commentary on [[ECV 00002]].

Also, the [http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/gaming-guys-cartoon.php first episode] of The Flash Tub's "Gaming Guyz", while not mentioning Chris outright, directly references his [[Medallion]], and how [[Sonic]] cured his [[Autism]] in Part 12.

===SpliceToday.com===
An [http://www.splicetoday.com/digital/come-back-christian-weston-chandler article] posted on 6 January, 2011 on this multimedia blog decried Chris's latest exile from the Internet. It sums up Chris's history and behavior while sharing a personal account of the author taking steps to improve his life in order to distance himself from the similarities he saw between Chris and himself.

{{quote|It’s a little sad, and a little beautiful, and somewhere out there, Christian Weston Chandler is heating up his [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|Hungry Man]] lunch in a supermarket microwave (because his kitchen microwave has been buried under old Christmas decorations) and playing his [[Nintendo]] DS, and maybe ogling a salesgirl from across the produce section before he approaches her awkwardly and uses a pickup line that he misread from the Internet, and I wish I could continue to see it all.|SpliceToday.com, Come Back, Christian Weston Chandler}}
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

===Nicole Richie's twitter===
On 5 [[December 2009]] American socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Richie|Nicole Richie]] [http://twitpic.com/s7pfi posted on twitter] an image of Chris in his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s underwear and humorously presented it as a picture of [[wikipedia:Benji Madden|Benji Madden]], brother of her then boyfriend (and now husband) [[Wikipedia:Joel Madden|Joel Madden]].

===Manboobs.co.uk===
Chris' [[Obesity|tits]] won the title of [http://www.manboobs.co.uk/submissions/manboob_of_the_month| Manboobs Of The Month] for [[October 2011]]. It is currently unknown what his words on the matter are.

Third date

2011-04-11T07:03:18Z

Obi-Wan Kerfuffle: /* Exceptions */ Fixed wikilink.

{{protip|Chris has never actually made it to the third date. He has a higher chance of dating someone three times versus getting laid, but neither of these things are going to happen.}}

[[Image:ThirdDateComic.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic]] looks forward to his third date with [[Megagi]] in [[Sonichu 7]] (Chris, for once in his life, reacts the way anybody would to Bionic's faggotry)]]

The '''third date''' is the date upon which [[Chris]] believes [[hanky-panky]] must occur.

==Background==

Chris has often shown that he wants to [[Autism|quantify things which, by the rest of the world's standards, can't be measured with numbers or any other exact reckoning.]] His [[heart level]] and his [[Scale of Respect]] are key examples. In the same way, despite the fact that in his entire life he has only been on [[Two's company snapshots|two]] [[Emily|dates]] (and they were both troll setups), he has mapped out his dating plans precisely. The first two dates are spent getting to know one another and the third date ends with [[sex]].

Chris has often shown that his ideas about [[Chris and Sex|sex]] are just as skewed as his thinking about any other aspect of relationships. In this case, he seems to believe that sex is almost like a fee paid after the couple has been together three times. It's hardly unusual, as Chris has often seemed to act as if he views sex as payment (during his friendship with [[Megan]], for instance) as opposed to a mutual expression between partners.

As with many times he's brought up sex, his fantasies sound a lot more like coercion or [[rape]] than what goes on between a loving couple.

==Rationale==

The "third date rule" or "three-date rule" is a notion common in popular writing about sex and relationships. Variations include the fifth-date rule, the second-date rule, and others, but it's most often remarked that one should wait until the third date ''at least'' before having sex, so as not to have an awkward relationship predicated on sex instead of [[TRUE and HONEST]] feelings (though one notable variation states the rule as that a relationship is not worth pursuing if both parties are not interested in sex by the third date).

While it's referred to as a "rule," no sane person would actually take the saying so seriously. It's more like a guideline, at best. Chris, being a long way from sane, seems to have twisted the idea into [[Autism|a rigid, unbreakable law]]. If he can make it through three dates with one woman, he '''will''' get laid.

==References by Chris==

{{quote|Sexual Education is good after '''Date #3''', but how does one even get to '''Date Number One?'''|Chris, in bold letters on the front page of [[CWCipedia]].<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Article&oldid=2627</ref>}}

Because Chris puts so much faith in the notion that date number three means guaranteed sex, references to this idea show up frequently in his writing and conversations.

* On the [[CWCipedia]] Christian briefly mentions that [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Christian_in_his_Own_Words#Dating_Education Dating education] is needed because sex education is only useful "after 3 or so dates".
* Likewise, in his [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|chat]] with [[Vivian Gee]], Chris declared that "Sex Ed is good for date 3 or beyond, but what is it that has to be done before then?"
* In a [[IRC_(18_December_2008)|fan chat]] from December 2008, Chris broke down his plans for three ideal dates, the third one concluding with "snuggle and beyond."
* [[Bionic]] expresses his belief in this rule before his first date with [[Megagi]] on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_2 Page 2] of [[Sonichu 7]].
* In his [[Kacey Phone Call|phone call with Kacey]], Chris hopefully remarked, "Ah, date number three..." He then went into [[recycling|far too much detail]] about [[rape|what would happen there]].
* The course number for the [[Dating Education]] class in [[Sonichu|Sonichu (Comic)]] is DAT-303.
* Chris repeats, almost word to word, the above-quoted rationale for dating education in [[Autism Tutorial Part 3]].

==Exceptions==

Despite his frequent insistence that the third date mandates sex, Chris has proven himself unwilling to even wait that long. When asked by a sweetheart, to describe what their time together will be like, Chris delivers a point-by-point description of how the days will be spent (often talking about wandering around aimlessly, watching [[TV]], and playing [[video games]]. So, essentially, doing exactly what he does all the time). He is quick to remind a [[Sweetheart|girl]] that they can always go further "if she wants to", though the insistence is evident. Even when he isn't specific about what time the sex will occur, he always [[For My Sweetest Ivy|brings up]] that he's looking forward to sex, and thus making sure she's well aware that he has expectations which must be met.

In his [[Blanca_Emails,_September_2008#Future_dates_with_Blanca|meticulous description]] of his plans for meeting [[Blanca Weiss]], Chris proposed having sex on their second evening together. Ever the gentleman, though, he added that he would be willing to wait until the third time if she so chose.

Chris's [[OkCupid]] profile takes this obsession with immediate sex a step further, saying that women should message him if "they're willing to get to [[Chris's room|the bedroom]] as quickly as right after the first date". Given that the same profile also demands that women meet him in person as soon as two days after the first online contact, Chris has effectively shortened his expectations from three official dates, to three days since the initial "hello." Needless to say, this aggressive stance on immediate sex has not gotten him anywhere.

Of interest is what Chris will do next. Given how he is apt to take [[Attraction Sign#Attraction Sign, Mark 1|something that doesn't work]] and simply [[Attraction Sign#The Attraction Sign, throughout the ages|do it harder]], presumably soon Chris will demand [[rape|absolutely no]] dates [[direct2sex|at all]].
In fact, in [[Jackie E-mails 22]] Chris mentions how he realizes he is "not mentally ready for a relationship" and "needs more socialization practice in real life for starters". Even though this is true and he doesn't want a relationship with Jackie, he is " a dude, and [he] did and will want the sex, and [he is] very mentally ready for sex with being responsible. [He'd] like to keep that option open".

tl;dr: he doesn't want a relationship because it's a lot of work to make someone else happy but he still wants free sex open to him anyway.

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Sweetheart]]
* [[Rape]]

[[Category:Love Quest]]

Merried Seinor Comic

2010-11-28T02:00:19Z

Obi-Wan Kerfuffle: Fix typo: "Christ" to "Chris"

[[Image:MSC.jpg|thumb|left|Merried Seinor Comic, as first seen in ''Sonichu 3''.]]
[[Image:MSCsavestheday.png|thumb|Merried Seinor Comic, stopping the [[autistic]] wonder from [[Crystal Weston Chandler|procreating]].]]

'''Merried Seinor Comic''' (not to be confused with the [[Giant Penis Comic]]) is possibly the most poorly spelled name in all of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', as one can't even figure out what words [[Chris]] was trying to write or what meaning they could possibly convey. Merried Seinor Comic is derived from '''Kirby McDerbie''', who banned him from [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] for over a year.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/dvd/194.jpg from Chris's DVD of Fail]</ref>

The Merried Seinor Comic is an unusually gregarious opponent of Chris's [[Love Quest]]. He is one half of the [[McDonald's|McDuo]] of the City of M-C-D-Ville of the Region of [[Mal-Wart]], along with his partner, the [[B-Manajerk]], and first appears in ''[[Sonichu 3]]''. He has cybernetic arms and legs and is armed with a broadsword, for no apparent reason except that it allows Chris to recreate the Black Knight scene from ''[[Monty Python]] and the Holy Grail''.<ref>[[:Image:MSCPython.jpg|The Black Knight scene from Sonichu 3]]</ref> Chris's version of events should be taken with a [[Autism|grain of salt]], however, as he then proceeds to be hogtied by [[Bagget]], hung over a pool of [[Love quest|boiling shame and loneliness]] at the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]].

In ''[[Sonichu 7]]'', the character is even more inexplicably described as '''Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby''', although the "Kirby" has been [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|removed in more recent versions]]. After being rescued by his [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], he issues a rematch against Bagget, with strong words of [[Honest Content|Voluntarity and Valor]], and then proceeds to beat him up with [[Magi-Chan|Psychic Punches]] to the gut and jaw.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/dvd/195.jpg from Chris's DVD of Fail]</ref>

Why Chris uses this bizarre turn of phrase to describe him, particularly the man's seniority as a comic, is still unclear.

==Sauces==
<references/>

[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Book10Replacement

2010-11-02T06:57:53Z

Obi-Wan Kerfuffle: /* Transcript */ Link to Chris's breakfast-sex joke.

'''Book10Replacement''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, with the presentation style of the [[Official Videobooks]], Chris shows off the "[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|corrected]]" version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], something he claimed to have started on months prior.

Instead of being executed, the Asperpedia Four are sentenced to live among the Amish for the rest of their lives, without access to the Internet and thus without the ability to troll. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] dies after crashing into a mountain, and [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] is imprisoned for marijuana possession.

These new pages are horrendously unfinished even by Chris's standards. None of them are colored and the majority of the action is textwalling. The dialog is appallingly dull even by ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' standards. One wonders why he bothered.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Book10Replacement
| video = {{#ev:youtube|E15yCuxm_Fs}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| previous = [[WelcometoBollywood]]
| next = [[DrainedCreativity]]
}}

===Transcript===

'''Chris:''' Wait--it is done! Now I can reveal to you the true pages of which... replace... the ones that were gory... and outrageous! Starting with Page 90 where we ended the trial! 
'''Sean:''' In our defense... we have a rock... 
'''Judge:''' I think we've heard enough...jury? 
'''Jury:''' We, the jury, find the defendants guilty times four! 
'''Judge:''' I agree! I hereby sentence the four of them to residence in an [[Wikipedia:Amish|Amish]] community! No technology access whatsoever, for the rest of their lives! Court is adjourned! 
[''Next page''] 
'''Narrator:''' Meanwhile, in the D.C. Maximum Security Prison... 
'''[[Slaweel Yram]]:''' Eeheehee! My spell is completed! I will wreak havoc on [[CWCville|that city]] once again! I am Slaweel! 
[''Next page: Slaweel has been knocked into the wall by an explosion of some sort.''] 
'''Slaweel:''' Dang it! 
'''Guard:''' Hahahaha! Another failed spell, 06960? 
'''Slaweel:''' Shut up! 
'''Guard:''' Anyway, you have a new cellmate. 
[Slaweel's new cellmate is revealed to be [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]'s woman love slave.''] 
'''Slaweel:''' So, what did they get you for, lady? 
[''Next page''] 
'''Kathleen:''' Hm, well, [''?''], Slaweel. Anyway after the [[4-cent_garbage.com|4-cent_Garbage]] building collapse, Jason and I made our escape. After we got away we had a fight and he dumped me. He had caught me cheating with the secretary! I was distraught. I went and got-- and used some [[Tobacky|marijuana]]... a lot of it! The police caught me using it, I was tried, and now here I am! I heard Jason crashed into a mountain and died. That son of a [[Chris and Censorship|*BEEP*]] got what he deserved. Trolling and torturing innocent people is devil's work anyway! Hmm. 
'''Slaweel:''' Did you smuggle any MJ in?! 
'''Kathleen:''' No, they frisked me and got all I had from between my breasts and up my asshole. [?] 
'''Slaweel:''' Oh. 
[''Next page: we see an extremely crude depiction of a horse-drawn carriage.''] 
'''Narrator:''' One month later, in the Amish community... 
[''Chris makes clopping noises.''] 
[''Next page: [[Mao]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]] are dressed in Amish clothing''] 
'''Alec:''' Good day, neighbor Mao! 
'''Mao:''' Good day, neighbor Alec! 
'''Alec:''' How are you today? 
'''Mao:''' I had a pleasant night's sleep, and my mandatory chosen wife--my mandatorily chosen wife, she had fixed a good [[Christian's sex joke|bacon and eggs]] with biscuits for breakfast! It is good. 
'''Alec:''' Yes it is. 
[''Chris hums a tune as we see Sean step on a rake lying on the ground and get whacked in the face. This joke is almost certainly "borrowed" from [[The Simpsons]] episode "[[Wikipedia:Cape Feare|Cape Feare]]."''] 
[''Next page: The Amish trolls continue to talk.''] 
'''Alec:''' Well! Neighbor Sean has hit himself with the rake again. 
'''Mao:''' Yes. 
'''Alec:''' He has been doing good being the village idiot his whole life. 
'''Mao:''' I agree. 
'''Alec:''' I am looking forward merrily to today's barn raising. Ms. Baisley is making her famous beans and bread. 
'''Mao:''' Ms. Baisley is making her beans and bread again? I enjoy her beans and bread greatly. I enjoy her good food with her delicious milk freshly squeezed from her teats. 
'''Alec:''' Yes, her bovine breasts give the best milk around, neighbor Mao. 
'''[[Evan Christopher George]]:''' Neighbor Mao? neighbor Alec, you are mistaken! I am neighbor Evan. 
'''Alec:''' Oh dear! I am in error. Where is neighbor Mao? 
'''Evan:''' He has gone to the store for vittles. 
[''Next page: Mao is in the general store.''] 
'''Mao:''' Good day, shopkeep! I would like two pounds of black-eyed beans, ten carrots and fifty pounds of grain. And have you seen my pussy? She has run off attached to the teats of my lovely wife. 
[''Next page: Same as the ending of the original [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]].''] 
'''Chris:''' And then the end of the story. Those are the replacement pages for book number ten. Thank you very much and have a good day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[WelcometoBollywood]]|nextlink=[[DrainedCreativity]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Chris and reality

2010-07-07T17:32:58Z

Obi-Wan Kerfuffle: /* Real Life */ Updated link to point to archived CWCipedia.

{{quote|I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves.|Chris, being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]]}}
{{quote|WHAT THEY AREN'T REAL WHAT ARE YOU DELUSIONAL|[[Clyde Cash]]'s response to the above.}}
'''Reality''' is the universe from which [[Chris]] is quite detached. Chris has demonstrated considerable difficulty distinguishing fantasy and reality.

==Fantasy and Fiction==
[[CWCville]] is the name of the idyllic fantasy world of Chris's imagination. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]

Chris believes that [[CWCville]], as all other products of his imagination, actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World," where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film [[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit?|Who Framed Roger Rabbit?]] as a model. Chris considers anyone who does not accept this thinking "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref> Chris has claimed to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE." <ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others too [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] to comprehend this idea.

{{quote|I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves.|Chris [[IRC (20 January 2009)|20 January 2009]]}}

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way a Christian might consider God to be their father. Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. It is Slaweel Ryam, not Chris, who apologizes for slandering Mary Lee Walsh.<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>
Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville is canon, and feels it necessary to explain away [[Billy Mays|undesirable]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|changes]] to CWCville made as a result of [[BlueSpike|outside]] [[Alec Benson Leary|influences]].

==Real Life==
Chris has a tendency to [[Father Call|exaggerate]] estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight emails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] toward his favor. This tendency seems to suggest not mere ignorance, but Chris's perception that the limits of his physical potential are inherently impressive to others.

Where objective reality conflicts with them, Chris expects his self-favoring opinions to be accepted by others as the truth.

When asked by Evan to remove Simonla from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character Simonchu and thus effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying Simonla was ever inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this new version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with Asperger's Syndrome "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine Autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "Fact" is only his "own idea," Chris sees accepting the truth to the contrary as "conform[ing] to blasphem[y]."<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref>

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he talks about his status as the Cwcville [[Pokémon]] gym leader, then goes on to suggest that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Poké-ball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the Gamecube memory card. He expects this peripheral to be able to [[Yu-Gi-Oh|read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and be used to challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral.]]

Chris is also prone to interperting various forms of media in his own way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''Avatar'' was meant to promote the eradication of homosexuality rather than the tolerance of other cultures. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of South Park that spoofed illegal immigration. Long story short, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''Red Dawn''. And of course, Chris is convinced that [[Family Guy]] is made by the staunchest, God-fearing-est Republican in the world, when in reality it's made by an atheist.

==Chris and Magic==
:''See also: [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|Chris the Shaman]]''

Through Chris's perception of God as an implement of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune on the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse [[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]] on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref> <ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref> <ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred [[Medallion of Fail|personal]] [[Amnyfest Ring|relic]] of the day.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied:
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at [[PVCC]] went DOWN ([[Chris and his Ego|yes, mostly due to my references in the pages]]), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This belief gives Chris the some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an [[Autism|immature]] defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his ego. Chris believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake.

Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his doctor.<ref>[[Mailbag 12#Where autism comes from]]</ref> [[Mary Lee Walsh|Anyone]] [[Jerkops|who]] [[Manajerk|hinders]] Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "make true love illegal," either in Virginia or nation-wide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Bob Chandler

2010-05-22T23:33:20Z

Obi-Wan Kerfuffle: /* What about Bob? */ Link to Favored Comedians video for "alive and well" status report.

: ''"'''Bob'''" redirects here. For the troll occasionally known as Bob, see [[Robert Simmons V]].''

{{quote|This ain't my time yet.|Bob laughing at death <ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|Emily Date]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Chrischansdad.jpg|thumb|Bob is old. He makes sure to let you know that.]]
[[Image:DemonicLumberjack.jpg|thumb|'''The Internet Lumberjack''' in his Final Form.]]

'''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (04 [[Wikipedia:1927#September|September 1927]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P155</ref>–very, very soon) is [[Chris|Chris's]] father.

Despite being a racist and homophobic redneck, '''Bob''' became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's intense dislike of him and Bob's infamous cameo when [[Bob Walks In|he walked in on Chris fapping]]. His nickname, the "Internet Lumberjack", comes from this incident.

While loathed by and estranged from his other children and step-child, Bob is still viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]], due to him being somewhat concerned with Chris's current status as a [[virgin with rage]], and the fact that he occasionally tries to guilt him into being more considerate by bringing up the fact that he's devoted 28 years to raising a selfish manchild. Of course, Chris is unfazed by these attempts.

To date, Bob has conversed with numerous trolls. Thanks to his tendency to yap on, more information has become known.

==Biography==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|Bob is a pretty "old fashioned" type of guy.]]

===Service and education===

Bob was born in Fort Worth, Texas<ref>[[Prank calls]]</ref> and raised in Alabama.<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref>

Bob was drafted after World War II and placed in the Signal Corps. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones. When he got out, he couldn't get a job and so went to college on the G.I. Bill.<ref name="About" />

Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college to study Pre-Engineering for two years. He was also in a band and learned a lot about music. He then moved onto Auburn University, a big college, to earn his engineering degree.<ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)]]</ref>

===Career===

Bob worked for Western Electric for 40 years. Using skills learned in the army, he built for the company their first automatic [something] (it's unclear what Bob says here). General Electric heard about it and offered him a job in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara]] claimed, in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto]], that because of Bob's influence in the computer world, the NES "might not have arrived so soon" (despite video game technology actually being pioneered by Ralph Baer).<ref name="Barbara" />

As examples of Bob's accom-PLISH-ments, as Chris would say, he automated a steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for papers into the form of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads, and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, and machines for producing plastic products.<ref name="About" /> A fact that both Chris and Barbara have bragged about is that Bob designed controls for plastic water [container] molding machines...<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#Barbara]]</ref>

===World consciousness===
[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob learning how to cut that Internet down.]]

...on the other hand, Bob himself is proud of his "natural inclination for logic," although he is "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world.<ref name="About" />

Speaking of the world, Bob has been interested in it since he was 10, and has become very world conscious as a believer in the United Nations. He began by collecting foreign stamps in the 1930s. He has collected 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37" /> Bob traveled the world in his day for business and [[china|pleasure]].

Politically, Bob identifies as a Republican, and did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in the 2008 presidential election.<ref>[[Prank calls]]</ref>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s fictional country of origin.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref>

===Health and late life===
[[Image:LumberjackTapestry.JPG|thumb|Robert had English ancestry.]]

Bob lives on social security and General Electric pension.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> He hasn't really had people to chat with (he loves to ramble if the person shows some slight interest), so he sits around, listens to music,<ref name="PSN 37" /> and takes care of the garden inside the greenhouse. With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he goes to "swing with the music" on his swing there.<ref name="Raising" />

Bob has had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. He wears a pacemaker. He attributes his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived to 90-100.<ref name="PSN 37" />

A major question in the troll community is what will happen if and when Bob dies before Barbara.

===What about Bob?===
[[Image:Bobbetter.jpg|thumb|"Now will you PLEASE let me get back to God of War 3???"]]

On 1 March 2010, Chris [[Twitter|Twittered]] that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for congested [sic] heart failure. Chris seemed confident that his father would be coming home shortly. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris's outlook on the situation may be premature, if not extremely optimistic]]. Bob is the only thing keeping [[14_Branchland_Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb| Apart from the dying heart]]

For the next month after Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject. Information about his condition was hard to come by, as we only learn something [[Ego|once it has inconvenienced Chris enough for him to come online and complain about it]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies.<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congestive_heart_failure Congenital Heart Failure on Wikipedia]</ref> But again, Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle made this a serious matter.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The_Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats to a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. But no mention of his ailing father.

A poster on [http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/ /cwc/] claimed to have contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a [http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/9/9b/Bobbetter.jpg screen capture] purportedly of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you." Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." He is clearly neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hasn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well," with no further elaboration on his condition.

Whether he is on the road to recovery or returning home to die is still unknown. If Bob is dying, it is highly unlikely that Chris would be told, anyway. Apart from one-line responses from Chris, the best way to stay updated on Bob's health might be to [http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/ read the Charlottesville] and [http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/greenenews/ Greene County obituaries].

As of April 2010, Bob is out of hospital, living at home and back [[prank calls|arguing with himself]].

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob is out of contact<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> with his son [[David Alan Chandler]] and daughter [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]], who both lead successful careers. For example, Chris did not know he had a niece named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]] until she was 8 years old.<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref>

===Barbara===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[barbara Chandler|Barb]]]]

To continue with the music theme, Bob and [[Barbara]] met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole|Cole's]] friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref name="Cole2" /> They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara has not had sex with Bob for at least two decades. They have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> This is possibly due to an attempt to avoid spawning another subhuman freak like Chris.

===Cole===

Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole]] was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole will celebrate<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> "when that fuck Bob finally drops."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> Cole said that he and Bob share a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though we have no evidence yet that Bob hates Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knows Cole doesn't like him.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

===Chris===

{{quote|Get away from the Internet!
I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|"You tell them that you fell down some stairs or else I'm cutting down your Nintendo."]]

Bob wishes Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris, but he thinks (and rightly so) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on TV, and only can associate with the places he's been in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

Bob's joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements[sic], annoys me, rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time, and rarely succeeded.|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

After meeting with Bob personally and finding him to be quite pleasant and amicable, it became obvious that he wasn't "starting arguments", as Chris asserts, but rather most likely rightfully criticizing Chris's behaviors and encouraging to better himself, which would involve work, and Chris is too lazy to do that. It has been reported Bob will mention to him that he has taken care of his autistic ass for 27 years and so Chris should be more grateful. But selfish and apathetic Chris couldn't give two shits, figuring that they're ''obligated'' as parents to take care of his autistic ass, seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help".

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.'''<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref>

==Audio and video appearances==

In every appearance, Bob has proved himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself.

* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob talked to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[Church audio|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the [[Tour of Christian's House|house tour video]], (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Looking at the presents, it's sometime between 1982 and 2010.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|Bob at [[Christmas]] time.
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|The epitome of handsome.
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|Notice Chris's discomfort.
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|Bob won't let a fence get in the way of cutting down Chris's Internet.
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|Bob: fashion icon.
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|When Bob isn't arguing with Chris or cutting down his Internet, he enjoys gardening.
</gallery>
</center>
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}

==Sauces==
<references />

{{People}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Charlottesville Fashion Square

2010-05-20T04:31:20Z

Obi-Wan Kerfuffle: Linked to Emily.

[[Image:FashionSquareMallExternal.jpg|thumb|right|200px|External view of Charlottesville Fashion Square. ]]
[[Image:Fashionsquareretail399 thumb.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Image from inside the mall. OMG!!! A [[Hex Bawx]] Store!!!]]

'''Charlottesville Fashion Square''' is the home of [[Chris]]'s [[love quest]] (and now [[fuck quest]]) exploits. He was banned for loitering, but the year long ban has since expired. However, Chris's track record suggests a second ban is imminent. He is fixated with it, encouraging all fans or interested people to meet him there.

Fun Fact: The mall was also used in the Tom Clancy book ''The Teeth of the Tiger'' as the scene of an Islamic terrorist act. The only relevance this has with Chris is that he also caused terror there himself to many a [[gal pal|YOUNG LADY]] and [[jerkop|security guard]].

It was in this mall where Chris met [[Anna McLerran|Anna]] and the [[Tale of the Crazy Pacer]] got its start. It was here that he had his heart smashed down to 15% by [[Hanna]], and presumably where he (accompanied by [[Bob|his father]]) went on his "date" with [[Emily]], who was later rescued by [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]. It's safe to say that, at one point, a large portion of Chris's time spent outside the house was at this mall. Of course, he only rarely ventures outside these days to [[Father Call|shovel snow]] and do an occasional "[[Sonichu's Edge|parkay]]", so he may not have graced the halls of the Fashion Square with his presence in a while. Regardless, due to the misadventures Chris had here, this place holds a significant role in Christory.

==Comic references==
===[[Sub-Episode 1]]: "Jerkop-tastropie"===
Dramatization of Chris getting busted by mall security for loitering.

===[[Sub-Episode 2]]: "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"===
Dramatization of a [[Hanna|girl who works at a Starbucks]] trolling Chris by taking him out on a date.

==See also==
*[[CWCville Shopping Center]]

==External links==
*[http://www.simon.com/mall/default.aspx?ID=117 Official website]
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlottesville_Fashion_Square Wikipedia article]
{{Stub}}
{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail

2010-05-20T03:53:14Z

Obi-Wan Kerfuffle: Fix redirect.

#REDIRECT [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]]

Bionic the Hedgehog

2010-05-11T03:34:12Z

Obi-Wan Kerfuffle: Added wikilink to Third Date.

''For the short piece of fiction written by Chris titled "Bionic the Hedgehog," see [[Bionic the Hedgehog (short story)]].''
[[Image:bionic2.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Bionic, front row center at an Elton John concert.]]
[[Image:EarlyBionic.jpg|left|thumb||An early image of Bionic, circa [[1996]].]]
{{quote|Fuck bionic! It's ironic!|[[Niggo|Nelly]]}}
{{quote|Bionic the Hedgehog is Sonic the Hedgehog's long-lost brother. He is a professional basketball star and hand with tools in mechanics. He can score over 100 baskets in a single B-Ball game.|[[:Image:287-ACBionicBck.jpg|Bionic the Hedgehog Animal Crossing card]]}}

'''Bionic the Hedgehog''' (born 13 November 1986<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Slaweel_and_Graduon_Entraps_Crystal.2FNaitsirch_Transforms http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Slaweel_and_Graduon_Entraps_Crystal.2FNaitsirch_Transforms]</ref>) a.k.a. '''The Fresh Prince of CWCville''' was [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris's]] first recolor, predating even [[Sonichu (character)|Chris's crowning achievement]]. Brother of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], Bionic loves to play basketball, and is also the most flamboyantly [[homo|gay]] of Chris's characters. This is emphasized by the fact that Chris hooked him up with the comic's token lesbian, [[Megagi Skunk]].
{{clear}}
==History==
[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|right|thumb|Astuim conquered! Remarkable! Now he just needs to conquer cross-eyedness and his colors flowing outside of the lines!]]

Chris claims to have created Bionic way back in November 13, [[1996]], when he was standing in the middle of the hallway of his high school next to the basketball courts, staring into the void like [[Slow-in-the-minds|a retard]]. He claims that he was daydreaming about [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] character [[Wikipedia:Mighty the Armadillo|Mighty the Armadillo]].<ref>[[:Image:0233-CWCNote4.jpg|DVD, note 4]]</ref>

Standing there motionless, daydreaming about Mighty, Chris was — you guessed it — hit in the face with a basketball. This, in Chris's words, "opened the lockers to his mind", and lead to the creation of the recolor we know and tolerate today as the completely original character of Bionic the Hedgehog.

[[Bionic the Hedgehog (short story)|Bionic's backstory]]<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/bionic1.htm Bionic the Hedgehog. By: Christian W. Chandler]</ref> tells us that he was Sonic's brother, and that when they were young, Bionic fell through a portal into a [[Chris and reality|world]] filled with basketball players. Sonic, for his part, forgot all about his dimwitted sibling, and went on to be a real star. Cut to years later, when Bionic showed up to save his brother, and then go on to have other [[Chris and writing#Plot construction and tension|exciting adventures.]] It's interesting to note that, unlike all of Chris's other characters, Bionic was created within the [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|SatAM]]/[[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comic series)|Archie Comic]] universe and NOT the video game universe. How and why is Bionic here in the Sonichuverse? Nobody knows... or cares, for that matter.

Much like the other characters in Chris's comic, Bionic is a Mary Sue. In issue 8, he brags to his father about how his [[Megagi|skunk girlfriend]] blew him on the second date, and that on the third they were gonna go for some hot hedgehog yiffing. Yet another airing of Chris's insane belief that the [[Third_date|third date]] is the gateway to all the [[china]] you can handle.

Despite his name, Bionic is not a cyborg. According to Chris, Bionic rhymes with Sonic and the "B" is for "Basketball".<ref>[[Mailbag 6#Bionic's name|Mailbag 6]]</ref> He made it clear that "Bionic is not a robot" during the [[Asperchu]] saga when Alec's version of Bionic was depicted as an actual cyborg.

Bionic used to look rather different from Sonic the Hedgehog, with smaller head-spines and much larger back-spines, and a tail. This different (but no less stupid) profile shape is likely not so much an act of originality, as much as a simple inability to properly copy Sonic the Hedgehog's design. Chris being Chris, Bionic currently looks like the palette-swapped Sonic the Hedgehog he always was at heart.

Bionic made a reappearance in [[Sonichu 9|issue 9]], describing [[Wikipedia:Fresh Prince of Bel-Air|getting into a fight at a basketball court]] with several comical attempts at "street" slang.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:0233-CWCNote4.jpg|Genesis of Bionic
Image:Page85.jpg|Is Bionic really....[[Wikipedia:Will Smith|?]]
Image:Page85withthefreshprince.jpg|
Image:288-YuBionic.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category: Things Chris has ripped off]]

User talk:Obi-Wan Kerfuffle

2010-05-04T22:07:58Z

Obi-Wan Kerfuffle: Created page.

Speak. -[[User:Obi-Wan Kerfuffle|Obi-Wan Kerfuffle]] 22:07, 4 May 2010 (UTC)

User:Obi-Wan Kerfuffle

2010-05-04T22:02:41Z

Obi-Wan Kerfuffle: Create page.

[[Image:361-CWCsChicachu.jpg|Tranny-cat.]]

Chris and remorse

2010-05-04T21:50:59Z

Obi-Wan Kerfuffle: Fixed outdated wikilink.

Every so often, one of the horrendous things [[Chris]] continually does catches up with him, and he is forced to apologize. These apologies, like most of the other times Chris [[Autism|tries to come off as emotional]], often feel very forced and insincere, leading many [[trolls]] to wonder if Chris is even capable of feeling '''remorse'''.

It's not out of the question. A common trait of [[autism]] is a lack of empathy, meaning it's likely that Chris has a difficult time trying to understand what other people feel. Just as time and time again he's shown himself unable to understand others' feelings of [[Chris and death|loss or sadness]], he seems equally incapable of understanding how his actions could possibly hurt or anger others. When he is expected to show remorse, it often seems as though he is just going through the motions, making the absolute minimum effort to get whoever he has upset to stop pestering him, so he can go back to his oblivious existence playing [[PS3]].

==Concept of Wrongdoing==

Developing an understanding of right and wrong is an important part of a child's development. Very young children don't actually take into consideration what is ethically the right or wrong thing to do. They base their actions on whether they are punished and rewarded, before they eventually internalize a consistent value system and learn to police their own behavior. Chris seems to be stuck in the earlier, childlike state. If something makes him feel bad, or if experience tells him he'll get in trouble for doing something, it must be wrong. If it makes him feel good, or looks like it could have potential rewards, it must be right. Other considerations, such as what his [[Chris and religion|supposed faith]] prescribes or how this will affect [[Megan|other]] [[The Wallflower|people]], simply do not rank.

An excellent example would be how Chris managed to destroy his relationship with [[Megan]]. Chris was at war with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], who were, among other things, calling him [[gay]]. In an attempt to disprove their allegations, Chris uploaded [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a certain image]] to the website, apparently under the belief that that sort of information overload would get them to shut up. When the denizens of ED assumed the image was of Crystal, Chris was quick to correct them. At no point did he even consider Megan's feelings. When she [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|called him out]], Chris didn't realize he had done anything wrong, and assumed she was upset simply because she didn't watch enough [[porn]].

{{Quote|I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of [[Chris and English|outtercourse]] (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you. I'm sorry.|Chris, [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|not getting it at all]].}}

As such, Chris isn't really capable of remorse or a sincere apology. The natural precursor to an apology is the internal realization that one has done something wrong, a realization that Chris's childish, self-centered mindset will not allow him to reach. In his mind, he's done something "wrong" only when the people around him react negatively. Furthermore, as a rule, he assumes that their reaction is just the result of some misunderstanding, reasoning that if he was just given the chance to explain what he was trying to accomplish, they would understand, and all would be forgiven.

==Motivation to apologize==
[[Image:VivianLetsTalkBusiness.PNG|thumb|I'm sorry, now give me money.]]
As explained above, Chris's logic when it comes to matters of right and wrong is almost wholly reactionary. His rationale for apologizing follows the same pattern. He issues them only when made fully aware that he won't get what he wants unless he at least tries to appear genuinely remorseful.

Every apology Chris has ever made can be immediately connected to something Chris wants, and thinks he'll get if he says the magic words "I'm sorry". We almost never have to guess what that thing might be, he almost always mentions his desired goal in the same paragraph, sometimes even in the next sentence.
{{Quote|I wish to apologize to Michael Schneider for that mistake I made over nine months ago that got me kicked out of The GAMe PLACe... I miss my Friday nights over there… and also... y’all are the only place in town that has, uh, Eye of Judgment cards.|Chris, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apologizing in order to buy stuff]].}}
{{Quote|I apologize for the past unformalities[sic] and emotional outbursts in past communications... I ask for 25% of all money... you have and will have made from all [the [[audiobooks]]] you have put together and sold.|Chris, apologizing for sending [[Vivian Gee|Vivian]] a fucking [[Death threats|death threat]].}}
[[File:154-ApologyLetter.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
Because Chris's apologies spring from this simplistic cause-and-effect mentality, things tend to get interesting when whoever he's issuing them to tells him that all is not well, and that he is not forgiven. In [[I_am_Alive|one notable case]], he admitted to ungentlemanly conduct regarding his feud with [[Asperchu]]. It was a fairly obvious attempt to get [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia_Advertisements|certain ads removed from the CWCipedia]], but, notably, he announced his intention to kill off the character of [[Simonla]], in accordance with [[Evan| her creator's]] wishes. He didn't act quickly enough, and CWCipedia was taken down from the web altogether. Although his anger was understandable, Chris revealed in [[9_February_2010| his next video]] that he had never intended to kill Simonla in the first place, and that the apology was not true and honest. We had all suspected, but it's nice to get confirmation once in a while. After CWCipedia returned, he did indeed kill Simonla, but only under pressure, and in the most contrived, dull, yet very lulzy way possible.

The one apology that arguably highlights Chris's insincerity the most is his in-comic apology to the Asperpedia Four, which takes place ''while [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|condemning them to death]]''. The cognitive dissonance this creates would be overwhelming to any sane person, but [[Autism|for some reason]], Chris thought that this ludicrous non-apology apology was both okay and that the recipients would accept it as genuine.

This can also be seen in Chris's misadventures with [[The Wallflower]]. When the shit hit the fan and she cut off all ties with him, he made his usual [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pathetic display of sorrow]], making it very clear in the process that he only wanted her for [[sex]]. When his apology failed to work as planned, Chris became very angry and spiteful, and started [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|demanding that she apologize for hurting ''his'' feelings]].
{{-}}
==Common traits of a CWC apology==

===Explanation===
One recurring element in Chris's admissions of guilt is an explanation of why he did whatever he's apologizing for. The way these speeches are worded often indicates that Chris believes that if we just understood his intentions, we would all agree with him, and that nobody would be offended.

A famous example appears in the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]] video. Chris explains that yes, he videotaped himself performing a selection of disturbing sex acts, but it was all for his sweetheart [[Ivy]], and this evidently renders his actions understandable and acceptable. Supposedly speaking to a young child who was shocked by his behavior, he tells her that his behavior was perfectly reasonable because he is both adult and human. This combination of warped logic and an even more warped world-view was a crucial component of his breakthrough to mainstream infamy.

Another good example would be the time he [[Twin Falling Towers|used the worst terrorist attack in American history for an exceedingly bad joke]]. After learning that [[Kacey]] came from a military family, Chris did what was expected of him and made a [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|public apology]]. However, he was more concerned with continuing to slander [[Clyde Cash]] and assuring us he was a good American (although he didn't know the words to his own national anthem)<ref>[[Mumble 7#summary|Mumble Chat 7]]</ref><ref>[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]</ref> than with actually expressing remorse and making an attempt at recompense.
[[Image:SnuffOutClyde.jpg|thumb|This looks like a good idea.]]
{{Quote|The joke was mainly directed to how WEAK Clyde Cash was only, I had no idea or intention of offending anyone, other than Clyde, on such a massive world-wide level.|[[Apology_for_9/11_Joke#Apology_image_text|Chris's written apology]].}}

Within the same video, he changed the photoshop he'd done of the World Trade Center towers into birthday candles. That he saw no problem in presenting an image of the two buildings on fire and repeatedly calling them weak while he asserted that he was a good American proves that he [[Fail|completely missed the point]] of what he was supposed to be apologizing for. He was far more concerned with sullying Clyde's name than with any blowback or offense his comments might have caused.

===Rationalization===

Chris is incredibly self-righteous. In his mind he is the only decent man left in the world, and everybody else is an evil [[JERKS|jerk]]. This mindset gives Chris all the justification he needs to mistreat others, because as far as he's concerned they're all the bad guys, standing in the way of his [[Love Quest|heroic quest]].

This "everything I do is right" mindset shows through when he is forced to talk about his prior transgressions. Chris might offer a half-assed apology, simply to conform to the wishes of whoever he's talking to, but it will often be accompanied with a long explanation as to why he ''had'' to do it.

{{Quote|I was wrong... I pretended to be him yet he was the liar. I'm the real deal... So on that one part I was wrong for the right reasons.|Chris, [[I Love You Kacey|almost admitting wrongdoing]].}}

He exhibited this self-righteous attitude many times in the [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] saga: because he is the TRUE and HONEST Christian, this gave him the right to [[For Kacey from CWC|attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend by]] [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be him]], and then [[SHE IS MINE NOW|gloat about it once he apparently achieved his aim]]. Once again, Chris saw no wrong in this. Since Liquid wronged him by trolling him in the first place, anything he did in response was entirely justified.

==Retraction==

Chris, believing that his actions are always right, nearly always has to be pressured into making any form of apology at all. Most, if not all, of his apology messages are motivated by the people he [[Fuck Quest|physically desires]] (be they obvious troll or otherwise) or [[Asperchu|desires to appease]], rather than the public outcry he causes, and certainly not by any true sense of guilt. A retraction of an apology is just as hollow as the apology itself, in that Chris is quite happy to lie to [[Chris and his ego|save face]] or gain [[china|something he wants]]. For instance, Chris '''finally''' [[02_March_2010|'sincerely' apologized to Alec and Mao]] for his actions to them on 2 March 2010. However, only a month later, on 8 April, he was talking to [[Jackie_e-mails#Chris's only friends: trolls and his parents|Jackie]] and, in an attempt to gain sympathy from her, claimed that Alec was "trying to one-up [him] for months now".

When trolls hacked his PSN accounts, Chris made [[A_near_public_apology|a near public apology]]. A blatant attempt to get his PSN account back, the apology was, of course, chock full of lies and insincerity.

One of his favorite ways to smite his [[Clyde Cash|invisible internet enemies]] and [[jerkop|real-life foes alike]] is to lay a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] upon them; thinking that he has powers akin to something more along the lines of Wicca, Voodoo, or Goku from [[Things Chris has ripped off|DBZ]] than with the [[Chris and religion|Christianity]] he practices. He only issued the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]] after [[Kacey|his latest e-girlfriend]] told him that he shouldn't have done so.

Considering that he [[Surfshack_Tito_(video)|quickly returned]] to his ways of cursing, [[Don't_Mess_With_Me|threatening]], and [[Chris_Drops_the_N-Bomb|insulting]] his enemies, the sentiment obviously didn't stick.

==Shifting blame==

When Chris isn't trying to justify the trouble he causes, he usually resorts to blaming others. The most famous example is him blaming [[ED]] for the end of his friendship with [[Megan]], even though it was because of a picture he himself thought up, drew, and then uploaded to his [[ED|article]]. Chris had it literally screamed at him in [[Mumble 3]], but then, as now, he still doesn't know the true reason. The best anyone has ever been able to extract from Chris is that he came on too strong. While technically true, this is a vast understatement which fails to capture the massive amount of fault which lies with Chris (that is to say, all of it).

A stunning example of Chris's amazing ability to shift blame away from himself despite all evidence to the contrary was the [[Father Call|call with Kacey's father]]. In that conversation he blamed [[Barb|his mother]] for the state of their house, even though Chris's room is just as messy.

====The Wallflower====

Chris went to great lengths to keep the knowledge of [[The Wallflower]] away from the slanderous trolls of the Internet. However, he foolishly credited her by her screen name during one of his sycophantic Little Big Planet levels and the trolls used that to find her Facebook page... which then lead to a massive dump of info about her on the CWCki. When she was later linked to said CWCki, and horrified at the amount of information available about her, she requested that the CWCki admins remove the information since she really had very little to do with Chris and didn't deserve such a descriptive page about her. ''(Note: naturally, since her request seemed reasonable, the CWCki admins complied and replaced all references to her with a pseudonym.)''

Frightened and disgusted by what she had found, [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!|she broke off all contact with Chris]], including even casual association. She also clarified to the CWCki admins that they had never dated, never had any kind of relationship beyond casual association, and before her introduction to the CWCki she really didn't know much about him at all. Chris, however, [[Chris and reality|not to be deterred]], proclaimed many times that they had [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#What_had_happened|been on several dates]], and [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#What_had_happened|"Shared DNA"]], along with enjoying a kiss and massage. Since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally... [[Jackie e-mails_Part_2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|Chris had either momentarily forgotten that he had never been kissed]], something that would have been a monumental occasion in his life, lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed, or lied to Jackie about ''not'' being kissed (though that is very unlikely). Either way, he still lied about the kiss, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).

With ALL the above in mind... in the month following their "breakup", Chris would go on to blame The Wallflower for [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#The_Breakup|having an internet presence at all]]. In Chris's warped view of things, the reason that she broke up with him was because, by allowing herself to have a Facebook page and other information, ''she enabled herself to suffer because of Chris's actions''. Chris mentioned that he was ready to accept an apology ''from her'' at their social group meeting, when the reality was he should have been the one offering most sincere groveling for allowing his reprehensible behavior to be [[CWCki|published]].

====Forgetting====

Aside from directly shifting the blame by [[list of Chris's lies|lying]], Chris has been frequently known to 'forget' important, critical details of his life, typically ones that make him look bad. When [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]] was flirting with him by e-mails and found out about the CWCki, she asked Chris about cheating on [[Ivy]] with [[Vanessa]], the full details of which are documented right [[Ivy|here]]. Chris, of course, claimed flat out that the whole thing was a troll deception and that Jackie shouldn't believe it. When Jackie informed Chris she found a video of him admitting it and confessing, Chris claimed he [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_3#Chris "Forgot" He Cheated On Ivy|"forgot" this "portion"]].

On [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_October_27th,_2008|October 27th in 2008]], Chris nervously announced he had found his one true sweetheart; [[Chloe]]. Many things immediately leapt out at the trolls as being lies, including his previous announcements on an [[Chris%27s_Sonichu_IRC_Chloe_Introduction|IRC chat]]. Due to Chris's unreliable short-term memory and inaction on the part of [[trolls]], after the 27 October video Chloe was never mentioned again in a video by Chris. A little more than a year later, in [[Mailbag 13]], rather than simply admit he was lying, Chris claimed "I currently have no recollection of a Chloe", even though she was supposedly the woman he had his first real kiss with.

In [[Mumble 6#On The Trans-gender Community|Mumble 6]], the troll army called out Chris on his statements regarding transgendered women. Chris claims that he forgot his previous statement, which may or may not be completely honest. In any event, Chris has discovered that (real or otherwise) a faulty memory is a socially acceptable way to dodge probing questions about ones past lies.

== Index of Chris's apologies ==

Below is an abridged list of Chris's various apologies for his many, many misdeeds. Small apologies may have been missed here and there, but these are the big ones.

*When Megan [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|called Chris out on his reprehensible actions]] regarding the porn he drew of her, he first [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|copy-pasted "Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you."]] fifteen times in an e-mail to her, then [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|went into detail about how a handjob works]], figuring that [[virgin with rage|sexual frustration]] and [[naive|ignorance]] were the root causes of her [[chris and anger|anger]]. Projecting, much?
*After Chris was banned from [[The Game Place]], he tried several times to get unbanned. The first was [[Apology_to_Game_%26_Hobby_Place|a video where Chris apologies just so he can buy more junk]]. The [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|second]] was where he prepared a script, stashed a camera in his pocket, then walked into The Game Place to confront [[Michael Snyder]], claiming he had changed and apologizing for his actions. After Michael flatly refused to listen and called the cops, Chris berated him on religious grounds then called him a Jew.
*After threatening [[Vivian]]'s life when she made better [[audiobooks]] than he did, Chris apologized to her... then made a demand for a cut of her "profits", the two sentences separated by only a single dot.
*In [[I am Alive]], Chris apologizes for his ungentlemanly conduct in regard to Asperchu. This was a transparent attempt to get the [[homo]] ads removed from the [[CWCipedia]] and his behavior [[9_February_2010|subsequent]] to this apology proved he meant nothing he said in the video.
*In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris apologized to the Asperchu Four ''while simultaneously having them brutally executed'', including having one of them killed by a [[Sandy|toddler]].
*After [[Sex tape|filming himself performing sex acts for Ivy]], Chris [[Captain%27s_Log,_Stardate_April_28th,_2009|apologized for his actions]] but structured his apology to state that his behavior was, in fact, completely normal and that [[Ching Chong]] shouldn't feel bad for watching it.
*In [[Matthew_5_27,_CWC_Confessions]], Chris apologised for cheating on [[Ivy]].
*After [[Twin_Falling_Towers|mocking the worst act of domestic terrorism]] in United States history, Chris made a subsequent [[Apology_for_9/11_Joke|apology video]]... which featured the Twin Towers as candles on a birthday cake, complete with multiple gouts of flame flying from the top.
*When [[Kacey]] discovered Chris had pretended to be the [[Liquid Chris|other, better Chris]] in order to get a travel visa to [[China]], Chris apologized by way of his video [[I_Love_You_Kacey|"I Love You Kacey"]], where he claimed he was "...was wrong for the right reasons."
*Chris '''finally''' [[02_March_2010|'sincerely' apologized to Alec and Mao]] for his actions to them on the 2nd of March. However, only a month later on the 8th of April he was talking to [[Jackie_e-mails#Chris's only friends: trolls and his parents|Jackie]] and, in an attempt to gain sympathy from her, claimed that Alec was "trying to one-up [him] for months now".

==Sauces==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]