CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:Clydec

2010-03-04T02:21:04Z

Oohsama:

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-03-04T02:17:44Z

Oohsama: Blanked the page

Main Page

2010-03-04T02:16:48Z

Oohsama:

Main Page

2010-03-04T02:15:42Z

Oohsama:

[[File:Fkinglie.png|center]]
{| id="mp-topbanner" style="width:100%; background:#fcfcfc; margin-top:1.2em; border:1px solid #ccc;"
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<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em; color:#000;">Welcome to the CWCki!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The TRUE and [[HONEST]] encyclopedia about [[Christian Weston Chandler]]</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">''WHERE NO SHIT IS TOO MINOR''</div>
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{| cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background:#faf5ff; color:#000; width:100%"
| <h2 id="mp-tfp-h2" style="margin:0; background:#ddcef2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em">Quote of the Now</h2>
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| style="color:#000;" | {{Quote of the now}}
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|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Article of the now}}</div>
|-
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Improvement}}</div>
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| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Did You Know...</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Did you know}}</div>
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|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Christory}}</div>
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Check this out}}</div>
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Da update}}</div>
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{CWCipediaTracker}}</div>
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Picture of the now}}</div>
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Video of the now}}</div>
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[[Category:Special]]]]

Simonla Rosechu

2010-03-04T02:13:08Z

Oohsama:

[[China|Once upon a time, '''Simonla Rosechu''' (aka '''Simonla''', pronounced sih-MOAN-luh) was an orange [[Rosechu (species)|rosechu]] who could turn her arms into drills and dig underground. She also had a drill at the end of her tail. Then her guts were shredded by a tragic toilet explosion.

Originally a [[troll|fan]] character submitted by [[Evan]] named '''Simonchu''', [[Chris]] instead added breasts and a [[china]] and turned it into Simonla so he'd have something to [[mass debating|masturbate]] to.]]

==Background==
Evan told Chris he got his drills from being raised by Beedrill, though any bona fide weeaboo knows the drills and the name come from Simon the Driller, from ''[[Wikipedia:Gurren Lagann|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]''. Interestingly, in his [[Apologies to Alec and Evan]] video, Chris pronounces Simonchu as ''Sigh-Mon-Chu'' and not ''See-moan-chu'', meaning that:

*Chris has never seen Gurren Lagann before, much to the relief of many fans and
*Simonla's pronunciation would be ''Sigh-mon-lah''.

This is reinforced by other inconsistencies with the character, including mistaking Simonchu's cape for a shell on Simonla and that the Core Drill Bit was a shark's tooth necklace.

Her actual character biography is basically non-existent. While the members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] all have their own retarded little backstories to explain where they came from and what they're doing together, Simonla just shows up one day, ready to strip naked and present backdrops. Where she's been and why she never helped with all the crazy shit that happens in [[CWCville]] is never addressed. At all.

[[Evan]] eventually clears it up in his Simonchu comic: Simonla is a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|female clone]] of Simonchu, sent back in time to befriend the other Electric Hedgehogs so that Chris can prove [[Wild]] is STRAIGHT to the trolls in order to cover up [[Asperchu|Alec's SLANDEROUS portrayals]]. This explains, somewhat, Chris's constant references to Simonla and Simonchu being siblings, though it may be more accurate to consider Simonla a daughter to Simonchu. [[lie|Chris is sure to integrate this creative and interesting plot twist into his own comic immediately]], [[Mitch Sonichu|just as he expects other people to change their comics to match his ideas]].

==Simonla the [[Pedofork]]==
In the Dating Education episode, we see Simonla outside Cwcville U talking to [[Zapina]], the 14-year-old girl who wants to strip despite those "dumb child protection Laws" Chris and the Sonichu gang hate so much. Zapina refers to Simonla as "her best friend," which is creepy enough, before Simonla instructs her to get a "16-year-old boy".

One can only wonder why she would do such a thing, when any woman in her right mind would tell her to focus on her studies and hang out with friends her own age before worrying about boys, especially one two years older when she's clearly underage!

==Development==
[[Image:Simonchu by Evang y.png|thumb|Before...]]
On 26 August 2008, Evan posted on his [[DeviantArt]] account:<ref>http://evang-y.deviantart.com/art/Simonchu-96132351</ref>

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
My Sonichu fancharacter.

Simonchu
Age: 14
Ground/Electric

Simonchu was originally a Pikachu, raised by a swarm of Beedrill. However, when Perfect Chaos attacked Station Square, the Pikachu and Beedrills watched from a nearby forest. In the middle of the battle a flash of pure Chaos energy was released, killing all the Beedrills. The Pikachu, however, was able to absorb the Chaos energy and use it to evolve. Depressed due to his parents' demise, Simonchu took his parents' drills and dug deep underground, leaving no one in CWCville to know of this unique Sonichu and his awesome powers.

until today...

...
[[Image:Simonla.jpg|thumb|...and after. Chris has the reverse Midas touch - everything he touches turns to shit.]]

Now I really must send it to him and hope he includes Simonchu in another issue. He is JUST bad enough to fit into Sonichu. </div>

Three months later, Chris did use the character, as he had wanted to create a ground-type Sonichu or Rosechu character. He could have used Simonchu, as he had Evan's permission to, but, feeling that he had enough Sonichu characters (or, more likely, needing material to [[mass debating|mass debate]] to), he decided to turn Simonchu into Simonla (playing off Simone, the feminine form of Simon), because to Chris, tits = better. Chris-chan also misinterpreted the cloak Simonchu wore as some sort of shell, judging by Simonla's line, "My shell is removable!"

Chris has claimed on Simonla's CWCipedia page that in Episode 20 he will introduce Simonchu as a ground (and only ground) type. [[Lie|He never showed up.]]

===Forced Romance===

{{Quote|plus pairing Simonla with Wild as a couple; that GIVES multiple meanings to the phrase "Opposites Attract."|Chris, [[Mailbag 21#Why no Tails?|completely failing to explain anything]].}}

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], Simonla attends the [[Dating education|dating classes]] and is eventually paired up with Wild Sonichu. Chris-chan had previously revealed this to Evan in the ancient Sonichu IRC chatroom{{cite}}, but it ended up creating one of the most horrific pages in Sonichu history.

===Evan's Response===

In late [[December 2009]], [[Evan]] [[Mailbag 22#Evan: back with a vengeance|e-mailed Chris]], accusing him of lying about the resolution Chris claimed to have worked out with him. Chris [[Rejected Mailbag#Let Me Get Back To You On That|ignored]] this e-mail.

Four mailbags later, Evan [[Mailbag 26#It isn't theft if Chris dumps a boyfriend on them|once again]] petitioned Chris, this time saying Chris was stealing his character. Evan politely asked Chris to kill Simonla in the comic, yet Chris responded by saying that he could not write out Simonla, as she was [[Wild]]'s girlfriend, and that he shouldn't be a monster for wanting to do so.

Evan [[Mailbag 35|tried again]], tired of it all, where Chris pointedly refused once more. Disillusioned with Chris, Evan allowed [[Asperchu|the creator of ''Asperchu'', Alec Benson Leary]], to feature Simonchu as one of Sonichu's friends. Whilst Simonchu is portrayed as a homosexual in the comic, [[Mailbag 40#Simonchu_swings_both_ways|Evan confirmed in an e-mail to Chris that Simonchu is bisexual]], and that Alec treated the character with far more respect than changing his gender without permission. Chris still persists with his refusal, on the grounds that depriving Wild of his girlfriend would be awful.

Evan would ask Chris to remove Simonla once again in [[Mailbag 43]]. Chris responded with one of his most bizarre and megalomanical statements yet, explaining that Simonla "didn't want" to leave CWCville, and that Evan himself "moves on" under the influence of [[Chris and his ego|Chris's Directorial Powers.]] Chris would later claim that Simonla should be considered an original character, since Chris could have, theoretically, come up with the concept on his own, with the fact that he actually based her on Simonchu's design more or less a coincidence:

{{quote|...IF I start with a Normal Rosechu, give her ground and dirt for skin, add some Drills, Natural Second Transparent Eyelids, an Armadillo Shell with a Drill Spot for a Marking on the front, and Construction Shoes, DOES NOT MEAN AT ALL of YOUR story of "Re-Modifying Simonchu with a Vagina"; THE TWO ARE SEPARATE, INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERS, so do us all a favor and QUIT B****ING AND STRESSING YOURSELF TO YOUR OWN PREMATURE DEATH.|Chris, [[Mailbag 44]].}}

TL;DR Pointless, throwaway relationships = Rights to use a fan character, in Chris's mind.

===Chris denies reality===
[[Image:Fkinglie.png|thumb|Evan's response.]]
After all this back-and-forth in the [[Mailbag]] over what to do with Simonla, on 02 February 2010 Chris added the following note to his profile of the character on the [[CWCipedia]]:

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
I had previously stated inspiration from Evan George's Simonchu Character; that was a fabrication, and I apologize for leaving the lie up for this whole time.

Simonchu was Never an Inspiration, or had Anything to do with Simonla Rosechu's creation whatsoever.

Thank you for being patient while I had thought further on Simonla's Background Story.</div>

This fooled absolutely no one. Evan and his fellows responded with a barrage of new advertisements at the top of every CWCipedia page, pointing out Chris's obvious lie.

Using those advertisements as a wedge, the Asperpedia creators hoped to eventually force Chris to do away with Simonla. As chronicled in [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Calls|Alec Benson Leary's phone calls with Chris]], this proved to be an uphill battle. Over the course of late January and into early February 2010, Chris continued to insist that Simonla had to remain a part of his comic.

Chris relented somewhat as the ads on the CWCipedia grew more and more offensive. On [[I am Alive|February 6th 2010]], he posted a video where he conceded defeat of a kind, promising to kill Simonla and remove her entry in the CWCipedia at some time in the indefinite future. This wasn't good enough for Evan, who exerted legal pressure to have the CWCipedia locked to edits.

On 8 February 2010, in his [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_7|final phone conversation with Alec]], Chris claimed that he had given in, drawn the pages of Simonla's death, and had them ready for uploading. However, either he never bothered to follow through on that promise or he simply never go the chance. Early on 9 February 2010, all the CWCipedia's content was deleted from its server space.

==Death==
[[Image:WildCADbortion2.jpg|thumb|How it happened.]]
On 9 February 2010, responding to the deletion of the CWCipedia, Chris admitted that his promise to get rid of Simonla was made under duress:

{{Quote|And I never wanted to kill Simonla! But I was practically back-BLACK mailed by that god damned by that god damned Evan...|Chris, [[9_February_2010|9 February 2010]]}}

Belatedly, however, he finally made good. On 13 Feburary 2010, Evan released two pages he received from Chris, where Chris makes a rote apology (dwelling for some strange reason on the topic of hamster rape) and Simonla is killed for good. In the pages, it is shown that Simonla is killed ''by a toilet bomb in the ladies' bathroom'' during a date at the movies with Wild. After being <s>injured worse</s> treated by [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the <s>Scientist</s> Doctor]], who has apparently quit working for Team Rocket in favor of emergency medicine, Simonla passes on. Wild mourns for exactly ONE PANEL before Magi-Chan deus-ex-machinas where her killers are and he takes off on a mission of revenge. Simonla is injured offscreen and dies offscreen, exactly the opposite of what [[Alec]] [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|requested]].

In what may or may not be a coincidence, Simonla succumbs to "her internal injury," the same fate that felled a number of Chris's [[Officer Nasty]] dolls.

Some days later, Chris released a revised version of Simonla's death, in which the drama takes place over several pages and Simonla is revealed to have shat out an egg, which is in the care of [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] when Simonla goes asplodey. A time jump occurs and the egg hatches into [[Sandy Rosechu]]. Issue 10 culminates in the father-daughter team of Wild and Sandy cooperating to execute [[Evan]] in spectacular and gory fashion, thereby going against Chris's long-held assertion that [[List of Chris's lies|he would never stoop to Alec's level and include gratuitous gore in his comic]].<ref>[[Twitter]]</ref>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:SimonlaThePedofork.jpg|Chris subtly lets slip his pedofork tendencies through Simonla
Image:SchuComic10P20.jpg|this is God punishing Evan for sending him those e-mails.
Image:Simonlaemailqf7.png|The e-mail confirming Simonla's appearance.
Image:SimonlaOriginalDesign.jpg|Chris's original design of Simonla.
Image:Email from chris.png|Chris gives Evan his page(s)...
Image:SchuComic11P80.jpg|and starts with a wall of [[Lies|text]]
Image:SchuComic11P81.jpg|Chris kills off Simonla by having a toilet bomb blow up her [[china]].
Image:Sonichurevolution03.jpg|Alec Benson Leary offers his own take on Simonla's demise.
Image:WildCADbortion1.jpg
Image:WildCADbortion2.jpg
Image:WildCADbortion3.jpg
Image:Simonlas Death WIP.jpg|Voltorb uses self destruct

</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}

*[[Evan]]
*The TRUE, HONEST and PICKLE-HAVING Advenures of Simonchu and Niachu: [http://simonchucomics.deviantart.com/]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]][[Category:Dead]]

Main Page

2010-03-04T02:11:32Z

Oohsama:

[[hanky panky|
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<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em; color:#000;">Welcome to the CWCki!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The TRUE and [[HONEST]] encyclopedia about [[Christian Weston Chandler]]</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">''WHERE NO SHIT IS TOO MINOR''</div>
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:85%;">We currently have [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles...and counting!</div>
|}

| style="width:50%; font-size:100%;" |
[[File:CWCiki Introduction.jpg]]
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{| cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background:#faf5ff; color:#000; width:100%"
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| style="color:#000;" | {{Quote of the now}}
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|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Article of the now}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Improvement Project of the Now</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Improvement}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Did You Know...</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Did you know}}</div>
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| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">This Day in Christory</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Christory}}</div>
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|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Check this out}}</div>
|-
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Da update}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-otd-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cedff2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">CWCipedia Tracker</h2>
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{CWCipediaTracker}}</div>
|}
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|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Picture of the now}}</div>
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|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Video of the now}}</div>
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[[Category:Special]]]]

Main Page

2010-03-04T02:11:05Z

Oohsama:

[[hanky panky|
{| id="mp-topbanner" style="width:100%; background:#fcfcfc; margin-top:1.2em; border:1px solid #ccc;"
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{| style="width:100%; border:none; background:none;"
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<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em; color:#000;">Welcome to the CWCki!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The TRUE and [[HONEST]] encyclopedia about [[Christian Weston Chandler]]</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">''WHERE NO SHIT IS TOO MINOR''</div>
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:85%;">We currently have [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles...and counting!</div>
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[[File:CWCiki Introduction.jpg]]
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Article of the now}}</div>
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Da update}}</div>
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__NOTOC____NOEDITSECTION__

[[Category:Special]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2010-03-04T02:10:22Z

Oohsama:

''This article is about Christian Weston Chandler, the Internet's favorite autistic manchild.<br>For Chris's fictionalized version of himself from the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]], see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].<br>For Chris's electric hedgehog alter ego, see [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].<br>For [[Audiobooks|the time Chris temporarily gained weight and became stupid(er)]], see [[Sammy]].<br>For the "brown-striped impostor", see [[Liquid Chris]].<br>For the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page Chris "Revised", see [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]''

{{Honest}}

[[Image:0782-Nochian_notopher.gif‎|thumb|left|Our hero.]]
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. <br>DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]

'''[[Ian Brandon Anderson|Christian Weston Chandler]]''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a perverse, [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[niggos|racist]], [[Chris and health|overweight]], [[Chris and reality|delusional]] "[[autism|high-functioning autistic]]" [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[fail|brilliant]] crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became Internet-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in public places while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him.

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
Much like the devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born "Christopher Weston Chandler," but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the bear conductor. In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan." Unusually Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler." He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

[[Image:Ano de freshman.png|thumb|right|229px|"Freshman anus" — a prime example of Chris's mastery of the Spanish language. Presumably, he meant to write "año de freshman"; "freshman year".]]

Chris took Spanish in high school and has since decided that his Spanish nickname is "Ricardo" — this is justified, as many high school classes will encourage the students to choose Spanish nicknames which may not always match the student's real name. Hence, when speaking or writing in Spanish he will refer to himself as "[[Ricardo Weston Chandler]]" or "RWC." At times he will literally announce himself as "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler," or variants thereof.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].

==Overview==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}</center>

[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's alright Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it.]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris_and_his_ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed—by [[Bob|his]] [[barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]]—to eternally live like a child, amassing toys and video games into a single bedroom in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly" and "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you" and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Wendy's|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February 2004 and March 2009, Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. He is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're trying to be tough negotiators.

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the sexual maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight. Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]] and [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.
{{clear}}

== Early life ==
===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]," was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He identifies his confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In 1989, noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the 4th grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris institutionalized. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the 6th grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree at Kay-Bee Toys as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not some elaborate troll.

This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has lead Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''Braindead''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of Young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg

</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7]], [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8P12.htm page 22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high-school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year 2000 time-warp, as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high-school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's (non)award winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face." Apparently, he's never seen ''"Texas Chainsaw Massacre.''
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

{{clear}}

===Adult adventures===

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on Sonichu, launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his Love Quest. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February 2003. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend… allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various authority figures who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in 2004. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May 2006.

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', [[masturbation|masturbating]] and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a local game and card shop. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH]]
It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric-Hedgehog [[Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.

===Discovery===
{{main|2007}}
Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of [[Sonichu]] on [[4-cent garbage]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris’s name to discover the picture’s author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Chris completely mishandled his reaction to ED, beginning a series of videos [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|demanding the removal of the article]] about him on the site. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris took credit and declared victory, guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. ED's abuse of Chris only moderately abated when the site's users began to fight amongst themselves about whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of [[CWCki]], which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010}}
{{quote|...He's a fat, racist, self-centered, intolerant, manipulating sociopath.|[[South Park|Kyle Broflovski]] on <s>Eric Cartman</s> Christian Weston Chandler<ref>[http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/South_Park/Season_9 Wikiquote]</ref>}}

Chris continues to live at home with his parents, living off the $750 [[monthly tugboat]] he receives from the federal government as compensation for his autism, which allegedly renders him incapable of contributing to society. He has grown increasingly withdrawn, while a series of internet [[trolls]] continually tempt him with the slim hope that there is a vast Sonichu [[fan base]] full of pretty girls who want to have sex with him if he will only stick things up his ass, or perform even more bizarre and humiliating acts.

{{CWCipedia}}

{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]], Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Scrapbook of Fail]], a sampling of Chris's artistic masterworks
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], Chris's furry alter ego.

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page The current official website]

===Fan videos===
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHfZ9XCMUQQ IICHH-TIPM - the 503 faces of Chris-Chan]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQfvFw1GMXA 'My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler' Theatrical Trailer]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZqqFUeoaEg CWC's Show Must Go On]

{{Template:Chris and}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2010-03-04T02:09:23Z

Oohsama:

''This article is about Christian Weston Chandler, the Internet's favorite autistic manchild.<br>For Chris's fictionalized version of himself from the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]], see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].<br>For Chris's electric hedgehog alter ego, see [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].<br>For [[Audiobooks|the time Chris temporarily gained weight and became stupid(er)]], see [[Sammy]].<br>For the "brown-striped impostor", see [[Liquid Chris]].<br>For the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page Chris "Revised", see [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]''

{{Honest}}

[[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|left|Our hero.]]
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. <br>DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]

'''[[Ian Brandon Anderson|Christian Weston Chandler]]''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a perverse, [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[niggos|racist]], [[Chris and health|overweight]], [[Chris and reality|delusional]] "[[autism|high-functioning autistic]]" [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[fail|brilliant]] crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became Internet-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in public places while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him.

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
Much like the devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born "Christopher Weston Chandler," but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the bear conductor. In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan." Unusually Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler." He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

[[Image:Ano de freshman.png|thumb|right|229px|"Freshman anus" — a prime example of Chris's mastery of the Spanish language. Presumably, he meant to write "año de freshman"; "freshman year".]]

Chris took Spanish in high school and has since decided that his Spanish nickname is "Ricardo" — this is justified, as many high school classes will encourage the students to choose Spanish nicknames which may not always match the student's real name. Hence, when speaking or writing in Spanish he will refer to himself as "[[Ricardo Weston Chandler]]" or "RWC." At times he will literally announce himself as "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler," or variants thereof.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].

==Overview==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}</center>

[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's alright Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it.]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris_and_his_ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed—by [[Bob|his]] [[barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]]—to eternally live like a child, amassing toys and video games into a single bedroom in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly" and "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you" and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Wendy's|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February 2004 and March 2009, Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. He is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're trying to be tough negotiators.

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the sexual maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight. Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]] and [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.
{{clear}}

== Early life ==
===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]," was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He identifies his confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In 1989, noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the 4th grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris institutionalized. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the 6th grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree at Kay-Bee Toys as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not some elaborate troll.

This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has lead Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''Braindead''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of Young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg

</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7]], [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8P12.htm page 22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high-school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year 2000 time-warp, as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high-school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's (non)award winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face." Apparently, he's never seen ''"Texas Chainsaw Massacre.''
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

{{clear}}

===Adult adventures===

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on Sonichu, launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his Love Quest. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February 2003. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend… allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various authority figures who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in 2004. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May 2006.

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', [[masturbation|masturbating]] and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a local game and card shop. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH]]
It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric-Hedgehog [[Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.

===Discovery===
{{main|2007}}
Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of [[Sonichu]] on [[4-cent garbage]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris’s name to discover the picture’s author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Chris completely mishandled his reaction to ED, beginning a series of videos [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|demanding the removal of the article]] about him on the site. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris took credit and declared victory, guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. ED's abuse of Chris only moderately abated when the site's users began to fight amongst themselves about whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of [[CWCki]], which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010}}
{{quote|...He's a fat, racist, self-centered, intolerant, manipulating sociopath.|[[South Park|Kyle Broflovski]] on <s>Eric Cartman</s> Christian Weston Chandler<ref>[http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/South_Park/Season_9 Wikiquote]</ref>}}

Chris continues to live at home with his parents, living off the $750 [[monthly tugboat]] he receives from the federal government as compensation for his autism, which allegedly renders him incapable of contributing to society. He has grown increasingly withdrawn, while a series of internet [[trolls]] continually tempt him with the slim hope that there is a vast Sonichu [[fan base]] full of pretty girls who want to have sex with him if he will only stick things up his ass, or perform even more bizarre and humiliating acts.

{{CWCipedia}}

{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]], Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Scrapbook of Fail]], a sampling of Chris's artistic masterworks
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], Chris's furry alter ego.

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page The current official website]

===Fan videos===
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHfZ9XCMUQQ IICHH-TIPM - the 503 faces of Chris-Chan]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQfvFw1GMXA 'My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler' Theatrical Trailer]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZqqFUeoaEg CWC's Show Must Go On]

{{Template:Chris and}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]