CWCki - User contributions [en]

Donald Duck impersonation

2012-10-24T13:52:30Z

Ormsondo:

[[Image:Chris Donald.jpg|thumb|What Donald Duck would probably look like had Chris's impersonation manifested.]]

{{quote|Break the Ice with a joke: try not to use an [[Twin Falling Towers|offensive joke]]. Or, you can do what I do, if you can, just imitate good ol’ Donald Duck. Quack! Quack!|Dating tips from the guru, ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]''<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews7.htm</ref>.}}

{{quote|I... oh my God, I'm shaking. '''What''' was that voice? Th- that was Hell...|[[Clyde Cash]]<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>}}

[[Chris]] is pretty good at '''impersonating Donald [[Duck]].''' That is, a [[autism|deranged]], syphilitic, crack-addicted Donald Duck that will only show up in your darkest nightmares. It sounds like what Donald Duck would really sound like were he dying and gargling in a pool of his own blood. This impersonation can be heard in the video [[CWCFlyingElephants]]. Although unlikely, some [[trolls]] maintain that when he worked at [[Wendy's]], he was actually fired for doing this impersonation. Since it might have been one of many grievances that Chris's former employers had, there might be some truth to this claim.

This impression is an achievement of which Chris is extremely proud. He even goes so far as to mention it in casual conversation, and [[Dating education|suggests other people to use it when hitting on women]]. Apparently, in Chris's mind, chicks dig terrifying impersonations of Disney characters. But then again, this is a tamer piece of the usual [[honest content]] that he subjects women to. He probably misunderstood some advice suggesting that showing off one's talents is a good way to get a girl's attention, so Chris believes that he has a talent for impersonation. This might impress a ten-year-old, but will not entice [[china]].

Disturbingly, Chris has also been known to do this impersonation whilst [[Mass debating|masturbating]].

On 23 [[August 2011]], Chris sang Donald's famous song "[[Wikipedia:Der Fuehrer's Face|Der Fuehrer's Face]]" in a misguided attempt to mock [[Jack Thaddeus]]' communist views.<ref>[[Calling Out#Re-Calling Ahuvia]]</ref>
==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Duck]]
*[[The Creepy Stare]]

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]
[[Category:Hobbies]]

Chris and money

2012-10-23T14:40:36Z

Ormsondo:

{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

It's obvious that [[Chris]] himself has no grasp on the real value of '''money''', since he actively wastes as much of his [[monthly tugboat]] as possible on luxuries like [[Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[PS3|video games]], and, more recently, [[alcohol]], [[Kaka Makeup Basics|make-up]] and prostitutes. He also once, when giving out the laws of [[CWCville]], equated 10 years in prison to a US$1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated fifty hours of [[Wikipedia:Community service|community service]] to $500 (for any [[sex]]ual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer.<ref name="Miyamoto" /> His [[PSN]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' single [[PS3]] game that he's ever purchased, and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris bought his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores. Usually, children are taught the value of money at a very young age - not in Chris' case, apparently.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed! ==

Chris's only source of income is the $809 [[monthly tugboat|"tugboat"]] that he receives from the U.S. federal government every month, placing his annual income at $9,708. Chris's parents originally took $450 to pay for room and board.;<ref name="Miyamoto" /> this payment was later increased to $565, and then to $580, after [[Bob]] paid off Chris's enormous credit card debt.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#8 December]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref>

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. Yet with my impuslive shoppiness (mostly controable [sic]), I end up spending my side-money after I get it.|Chris, [[Chris and His Ego|completely deluded and taking pride in being a lazy bastard]].<ref name="Miyamoto">[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref>}}

[[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] encouraged his son to remain unemployed, since he believed that Chris would earn more money from his monthly tugboat than he would have from getting a job. However, this assumption was and is inaccurate. Minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25 an hour. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be about $1,260: $15,100 annually. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth monthly, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $8,000 in ''spending'' money, as in, for more [[sex toys]] and [[video games]]. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulls annually from the government after paying off his parents, and it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement comes from either thinking Chris would lose his social security if employed (which he wouldn't) or knowing that his son is a failure.

A very likely explanation for Chris's reckless spending is that his coddling parents are at fault (to a degree at least). In addition to coddling him throughout his entire life, they have managed to make sure that Chris has never felt the repercussions for his exorbitant spending by taking over paying Chris's credit card debt, regularly giving him about "$6 a day for small things", buying him [[List of restaurants|fast food]] on a daily basis, and continuing to let himself blow all his money on [[list of Chris's video games|frivolities]] and useless stuff, as opposed to essentials like [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|hygiene products]]. Whenever Chris manages to [[The GAMe PLACe|get himself into trouble]], he knows that Bob and Barb will come [[Matthew Noble call|running to his aid and defend him]] and dig him out of whatever mess he's managed to get himself into, even if it is clear that he [[Target|is in the wrong]]. This enabling is the most likely explanation (in addition to his [[autism|poor impulse control]]) for why Chris spends himself into debt as much as he does.

Chris believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless shit, he is aiding the economy and paying for the tugboat of others.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref> Again, this demonstrates his idiocy since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with federal payroll tax. Apparently, this is too complex for Chris's autistic mind. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle [[money]], Chris has an unhealthy [[Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond. His mother has served as a bad influence in both regards, as she would compulsively shop at Goodwill and compulsively hoard the purchases, which both wasted money and helped turn their house into the fire- and biohazard it is today.

With the possibility that he might have ended up in jail over the events of [[28 October 2011]], Chris' bad spending habits would have come back to haunt him. In jail, he won't be able to collect his [[monthly tugboat]], and if a full year passes without him collecting his cheques, he will have to reapply for his welfare, something that would be a bit more difficult under the Obama administration, which doesn't look too kindly on social security due to the stress it causes to the overall economy,<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/24/us/politics/financial-outlook-dims-for-social-security.html]</ref> and has even started measures to cut them down altogether. <ref>[http://finance.yahoo.com/news/u-winds-down-longer-benefits-152809517.html]</ref> That, combined with the costs associated with court appearances as well as the fact that the last surviving breadwinner, Barbara, may have also landed in jail, would have resulted in Chris being placed in very dire circumstances, something which [[Kacey|several]] [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|have]] [[Mumble 4|tried]] and [[Playstation Vita|failed]] to warn him about. Fortunately for him, he wasn't sentenced to jail, but the fact that he openly stated during his trial that his mother would pay his court fees is telling of both [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|his character]] and his financial situation.

It should be worth noting that despite all of the circumstances ''(and expenses)'' described above, Chris is still wasting money on video games, as evidenced by his playing of ''Rock Band Blitz'' on the PSN, which was released in August 2012, pretty much cementing that even when faced with the consequences of bad spending habits, Chris [[Autism|will learn absolutely nothing.]]

==Credit cards==
As surprising as it is that Chris has his own credit cards, it is equally unsurprising how unwisely he uses them. As of [[February 2009]], Chris had managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the [[PSN]] store, but his bill for PSN downloads increased by the day) and had even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his own were maxed out. According to an [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|e-mail Chris sent to Vivian Gee]], by [[January 2010]] his debt was around $3,500 and had apparently been higher at some point in the intervening time.

By then, [[Bob Chandler]] had to step in, forcing Chris to put the brakes on his spending and pay down his debt according to a regular schedule. Chris, unaware of or uninterested in the fact that unpaid credit-card debt accrues severe interest, had historically made payments in the smallest installments possible.

Chris provided some more details about this situation in his [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mails to Jackie]] from [[July 2010]]. At some point, Bob paid off Chris's credit card debt and took payment in installments out of the [[monthly tugboat]] in compensation. This act of parental scapegoating could have potentially cleared Chris's future to be free of bad credit and crushing debt, had he not already acquired another credit card...

=== Best Buy Mastercard ===

In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob himself revealed that Chris had not only acquired a MasterCard charge account through [[Best Buy]], but as of the second week of [[August 2010]], Chris had somehow used it to land himself in yet more debt and had been laden with fees for bouncing a card payment. Bob, in the throes of some sort of conspiracy paranoia involving the staff and patrons of [[the GAMe PLACe]], claimed that it was most likely [[Michael Snyder]] who had hacked Chris's credit card and checking accounts, though why someone who's been on a manager's salary for several years would bother stealing from Chris is unknown. Also unknown is why ''any'' financial institution would give Chris a line of credit at this point.

Bob continued that the resulting transactions may have ruined Chris's credit rating (though that ship has ''long'' since fucking sailed), and, in a disturbingly Chris-like fashion, seemed to use this damning information to try to make Chris's latest brush with the [[law]] seem "petty" in comparison.

There are three possibilities as to what actually occurred (from least to most likely):
* [[Troll]]s achieved this new pinnacle of fucking with Chris and didn't bother bragging about it on some forum or another.
* Some regular criminal's credit card fraud scheme, just by chance, hit Chris.
* Chris blew whatever little credit that Best Buy had foolishly given him; he mistakenly attempted to pay off the card with funds from his checking account that weren't there; and then he blamed his debt on trolls, in another transparent attempt to avoid responsibility.

One of Chris's [[Jackie E-mails 7|e-mails to Jackie]] reveals that Chris acquired the Best Buy charge card without his parents' permission: he only told them about it after receiving two bounced check fees that showed up on his bank statement, which his father was actively monitoring. In true Chris fashion, he tried to pay the minimum balance each month. When he was forced to reveal the debt to his parents, Bob was obviously less than thrilled. He promptly took control of Chris's bank account as well as his credit cards. Chris now receives only an allowance in the form of Visa gift cards, leaving him unable to accrue any more debt. The prospect of not being able to blow his welfare on frivolities [[Jackie E-mails 8|stressed him out]].

Curiously, even in his private communications with [[Jackie]], Chris claims that the overdraft fees that gave away the existence of the card to Bob were the work of trolls. Elsewhere in their conversations, however, he recounts other instances of "getting carried away" and accidentally overdrawing his bank account, suggesting that he's just using the trolls as a handy scapegoat for his own mistakes.

With Bob's passing comes the possibility that Chris may once again have full control of his money, putting at risk what Bob had worked toward. Chris's acquisition of the [[PlayStation Vita]] and over 600 dollars worth of video games for that system is most likely proof that Chris has regained control of his money and is tossing it away like it was nothing.

==In the comic==

[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|250px|[[CWCville]] currency.]]
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris IRL. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the [[American]] populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two-story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of US$3,500 a month just to hang around. And maybe for the occasional [[Sonichu 9|city defense]] or [[A Sonichu Day|errand]].<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref>

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually issues its own currency, in the form of C-Quarters and W-Quarters. Ten C-Quarters make up a W-Quarter - don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, considering [[honor roll|what the word "quarter" means]]. (Our best guess: C-Quarters = US$0.25, W-Quarters = US$2.50) Nor does it explain why fines are levied in U.S. dollars: perhaps to bolster the dictatorship's foreign currency reserves, ''à la'' [[Wikipedia:North Korea|North Korea]].

This makes even less sense considering [[CWCVille]] is part of the [[United States]]; states, let alone cities, cannot print their own money, despite holding considerable power over their own affairs. The Constitution expressly forbids anyone else other than the federal government from issuing currency. Granted, states have historically issued their own money - when they were colonies and during difficult times, such as the Revolutionary War. [[Chris]] being Chris, and likely reading [[Goosebumps]] instead of paying attention in class, missed out on this information.

==In other works==
Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American [[Wikipedia:Social Security (United States)|Social Security]] system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels.|Chris with a very bad idea [http://leoweekly.com/news/left-wayside that has come to fruition in one American city...]}}

Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" as buildings ten stories tall with between ten and twenty rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, bed, lighting and cable TV.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#This still implies that CWCville has a massive homeless problem]]</ref> Of course, the homeless stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in [[CWCville]], there are around 1,500 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and a bevy of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that [[CWCville]] has had to open at least seven new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things. Or more tellingly, that the economy of CWCville is crashing to the ground, fast.

In [[Mailbag 29]] he stated that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp (which would be a redundant middleman in a state-approved brothel), pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free [[Dating education|Sex Ed classes]] for [[virgin]]s.

In real life, Chris tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him. {{cite}}

In late [[October 2011]], Chris posted a Craigslist ad for a 12-year old 32" CRT television and expected a non-negotiable $250 for it;<ref>[[Craigslist#Television]]</ref> in reality, this is about the price of a new flatscreen HDTV of that size, and he would be lucky to get a tenth of his asking price.

Chris also proves us that, in the possibility of being part of a family, he wouldn't be the main purveyor. In the [[PlayingHouse]] video, his [[sweetheart]] of [[Jackie|the moment]] is portrayed as a successful journalist with high ambitions while he's a [[14 Branchland Court|stay at home]] Dad. Even then, he portrays himself doing "hard work" like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|changing diapers]] and watching over the kids. In this last role, he's so incompetent that he needs to recruit his [[Crystal|preschool daughter]] to watch over [[Reginald Chandler|his son]] while he's shopping. This is paralleled by his real life situation - with [[Bob]] gone, one would assume that he'd be the "man of the house" and assume some responsibility for once. Unfortunately, as evidenced by his [[This is how the Trial went|admission in court,]] Barb is still pulling his ass out of any such concept by paying his court fees. Keep in mind that, by extension, Chris is being minded by an ailing woman's retirement money which was used to bail him out of a mess that ''he'' started, while he wastes his own money on meaningless video games.

== On TV ==
In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chris Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, either showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money, or perhaps he plans to sell the advertising fees to a single company so that they can play a long ad in the beginning of the air time and leave the rest of the show uninterrupted, ''à-la'' the season premieres of [[wikipedia:24 (TV Series)|''24'']]. We cannot know for sure, but he has probably seen at least one show that has done this, and gathered the idea from there.

==See also==
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Time Void

2012-10-01T12:47:03Z

Ormsondo:

[[Image:TimeVoid.jpg|center| OH GOD. I CAN SEE FOREVER! 8U]]

{{quote|He who fights with [[Trolls|monsters]] should look to it that he himself does not become a [[Sonichu|monster]]. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.|[[Wikipedia:Friedrich Nietzsche|Friedrich Nietzsche]], ''[[Wikipedia:Beyond Good and Evil|Beyond Good and Evil]]''}}

[[Image:CWCVoid02.jpg|thumb|CWC flung down the taut cavity of time]]

The '''Time Void''' (also known as the Void of Time, [[Little Big Planet|Little PIG Blanket]], or the [[PSN#PlayStation Network|Playstation Network]]) is a plot device in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' canon]] devised by [[Chris]] to step out of the comics.

==Gotta go back in time==
Chris, actually acknowledging the criticisms from [[trolls|fans]] that the ''Sonichu'' comic had become focused more on Chris and his [[Love Quest]] and less on the titular character who zaps to the extreme, decided to send his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic persona]] into a Time Void.
{{quote|In space, no one can hear you scream, in time you are heard to infinity..."|Inspirational comments by our autistic hero during CWC's ''time-out'' in the Void}}

'''Time Hogs'''

[[Image:CWCVoid01.jpg|thumb|Trippin' balls ''through time'']]

Enter [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - Two of the Sonichu Balls are activated during an adventure through the time stream which disrupts [[Magi-Chan]]'s shield, and exiles Chris from time. Sonichu and Magi-Chan realize Captain [[Chris and Fashion|Clownshirt]] is missing, but don't have any significant solutions to help him. Christian, meanwhile, attempts to sound sincere and empathetic while prattling on with his falsely-remorseful soliloquy in the Time Void. Narration reveals that the Void was in fact [[God]]'s "''twist of fate that would force me into a long, emotional, forced, stressful hiatus''"<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]</ref>

[[Image:CWCVoid03.jpg|thumb|Christian straining himself while attempting to decipher how other people's feelings are affected by his actions]]

==Wait, haven't I seen this before?==

A stripe-shirted goldbricker taken out of the storyline? It sounds familiar because ''it is''! This is essentially the same scenario as [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s [[Dark Mirror Hole]], and the fate of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]. The difference in this situation is that, despite being stranded between time, Chris is able to deliver endless [[Autism|neurotic]] thought bubbles and has the ability to absorb the Sonichu balls (with an unknown result).

In appearance, the Void also shares a common design with the Dark Mirror Hole: a solid marker color. The Time Void gets a little more page space, but that's expected in order to fit all the words coming out of the autistic warrior's TRUE and HONEST mind.

==Impact==

Christian didn't quite leave the pages of his comic so quickly, and popped up in a backseat role:
* He attacks 4-cent_garbage.com employees during the [[Sonichu 8#The_Elevator_Gags|Elevator Gags of ''Sonichu'' #8]]
* He also appears through the [[Sonichu 9|power of GOD]] to seduce Ivy during [[Dating education|Date Ed]].

Note that these are simply self-indulgent cameos for the author. The Ivy encounter ''was'' intended to further the Love Quest sub-plot turned major story arc, although it's unlikely this will be revisited due to her [[Ivy|demise]].

[[Image:CWCLogo.png|left|Two 'C' quarters plus a 'W' quarter are equal to one full Dumbass]]

'''CWCVille at Large'''

[[Allison Amber]] acts as the Vice-Mayor, and carries out all of the mayoral duties of CWCville while Christian is ''persona in absentia''. Readers are not informed towards any civic news under Ms. Amber's tenure.

{{clear}}

[[Image:GiggitySchu.png|left|"Too bad the regular size ones break easily on my 7-incher"]]
'''The [[Christian_and_the_Hedgehog_Boys_(band)|Hedgehog Boys]] (and Girls)''' 
Chris is basically forgotten by the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon so that they can focus on sex and dating. In addition, the fight sequences in Christian's absence no longer showcase the Jerkops. The presence of the Creator, however, is still conveyed even without an active role as he has his pussy whipped titular character ramble on with an incoherent bigoted screed in [[Sonichu 9#Episode 20|Episode 20]]. In other words, Sonichu goes back to serving as a Mary Sue proxy for Chris.
{{clear}}

==Return from the Void==
[[Image:NextBookVoid.jpg|center|*Sound of crickets chirping*]]
<div align="center">''Sure, whatever you say.''</div>

Chris explains that he returned from the Different Dimension on 08 [[August 2008]]<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Billy_mays Billy Mays article on CWCipedia]</ref> - but this doesn't make sense ('''SURPRISE!''') since it would mean he has been back in CWCVille, as mayor, for at least a year. It was previously hinted that CWC would be returning for the end of "first season" (For [[Sonichu 9]]), and is still featured as Chris-Chan Sonichu in the preview for [[Sonichu_10|Issue 10]].

The question remains, "How does he escape the Time Void?".

{{quote|Fifteen minutes of dialogue, and a transformation later...|Chris pulling himself out of the Void for no real reason}}

In an anti-climatic move and almost as an after-thought, Chris pulls himself out of the Void with the help of [[Magi-Chan]], [[Wild Sonichu]] and his vine whip power. During the epilogue, both Pokémon just happen to walk nearby the void, which appears right out of the blue, and they decide to rescue their "Master". Magi-Chan uses Wild Sonichu's whip as a safety cord and jumps in the Time Void's [[dirty crapped briefs|loose "Sphincter"]]. After many unexplained adventures lasting less than a whole minute, Chris is finally released from the grip of the Time Void's bowels.<ref>[[Sonichu 9|Sonichu Issue 9]]</ref> This page is followed by another claiming that, from now on, he will be able to tell more stories of ([[Chris and his Ego|himself and]]) Sonichu and Rosechu.

'''...Wait, there's more!'''
{{quote|She mistook me for myself and we went home. I was late getting home from work that night, so Lovely and I did the do and it was awesome!|Chris lying to his own wife in the future for a shag.}}

As if this wasn't enough, Chris seems to have exited the Time Void, by himself, in 2015. Over there, he took part of a "Medical Study". We are sure that said research wasn't in the field of behavioral studies or psycho-pathologies, since Chris came back just as twisted as when he left. When he was on the future, he lied to his own future wife, the "Lovely and Hot" [[Lovely Weather]] (an unfortunate woman with an equally unfortunate name) by passing himself for his own Future-Self. Hidden behind this lie, he seduced her and had sexual intercourse with her. Unaware of the [[rape|ethical issues]] related to lying to his own future wife for sex, he merely called it awesome.<ref>[[Sonichu 10]]</ref>

In short: Chris was stuck in the Time Void except for raping his future wife behind the back of his own future-self or punching an employee of 4-Cent_garbage for making a caricature of him.

==References==
<references />
{{CWCverse}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Plot Devices]]

Chris-chan Discusses...

2012-09-06T18:47:20Z

Ormsondo:

'''Chris-chan Discusses...''' is a series of [[July 2009]] video interviews between Larry Bundy Jr., aka "Guru Larry" of [[Wikipedia:Channel Awesome|That Guy With The Glasses.com]] (a website dedicated to video game and movie reviews) and the Internet's favorite autistic manchild, [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Guru Larry is the second big name fan of CWC, along with animator Harry Partridge.

While a normal person would see Larry is clearly insulting Chris to his face, Chris's [[autism]] prevented him from comprehending Larry's blatant sarcasm. The only thing Chris picked up on was that Larry was using the Bulk and Skull theme from ''[[Power Rangers]]'', which has negative connotations. This was the second time that Chris gave a public interview.

Chris obviously has no idea whatsoever how to conduct an interview, shifting all of the pressure to Larry and trying to avoid answers which force him to be creative or think a bit, especially in the beginning. He constantly cuts off Larry and has no tact.

For a long time, only selected extracts were available, until Guru Larry released the full interview on 30 [[August 2012]].

==Directors' Cut==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|bRbFWKPvktU}}</center>

===Transcript===
''Video opens with white caption on black screen.'' 

'''Caption:''' Some of my long-term fans may remember I once held a series of interviews with Chris-Chan in June 2009. 
I never uploaded the full version before, due to the amount of editing it needed for lip-syncing due to lag. Also, because I lost what I thought was the only copy during a hard drive failure. 
But by total luck, I recently discovered a back-up copy. 
So after some pain staking, ''(sic)'' re-editing, synching, and general HD upscalingness, For the first time ever... the highly demanded full, uncut Chris-Chan interview!

'''Larry:''' -Sec, yeah, you got it? That's better. And how d'you get rid of the graphics on the screen as well?

'''Chris:''' The, uh, the what on the screen?

'''Larry:''' Oh, there you go. Now I've got rid of them. So there you go. So yes. That's, that-yeah, that's quite good. Did you know that- Do you know that there's a little twisty thing on the front of your camera that makes it zoom in, as well, so you can do that close up.

'''Chris:''' Uh, um...

'''Larry:''' So that's... So that, that little th- you know that th- you know that little plastic thing in the front, you can twist it, see, look. ''(puts hand on camera, which zooms out, then back in.)''

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Larry:''' So that's... quite good... So yes, let me just... try and get comfortable, there you go... There you go. So, uh how should-how should we start this, how do we start to... start this?

'''Chris:''' Well, like how you would normally start an interview.

'''Larry:''' Okay. Uhh... Let's have a s- let's have a thing out to start this... Okay. Three. Okay, now let's just move this camera just... tiny bit. There you go. Hello, and welcome to my first introduction for a YouTube celebrity. A first- I can't say it. Uh... How should we- how should we start it? How shall I intr-pronou-How shall I announce you, how would you like to be announced?

'''Chris:''' Uh, however you feel.

'''Larry:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Like you want to announce me.

'''Larry:''' Okay. All right, I'll prepare-I'll announce you as Sonichu creator, shall I, or... will that be... good? Okay, um...

'''Larry:''' Hello, and welcome to my very first interview with various people… from the Internet! And with me tonight, we have Christian Weston Chandler… uh, best known on the Internet for-- creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon! Hello, there, Christian! 

'''Chris:''' Yep. Hello. 

'''Larry:''' So... Yes. Good. Uh, so, uh, we're gonna be talking about E3 today, so, uh, what about- you know the- Start again from the overall thing, what's your overall opinion of uh, the video games on there this year. What do you think of them? 

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, I like the games, they're very good. Especially interested in the uh, y'know, God of War 3 and uh, the PSP version of Little Big Planet. 

'''Larry:''' Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. And what do you- What do you think of the PSP Go, is that something you might be buying, or... 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I might buys that for myself, but I would be keeping my PSP 2000 as well. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, yeah, so- 

'''Chris:''' Cause, y'know, I have a bunch of UMD games... 

'''Larry:''' No, you don't wanna get rid of that just yet. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. 

'''Larry:''' You're not being tempted to modify it or anything, so you could play copied games on it, from the hard dr- the Memory Card? 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, That's good. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, let me talk about Little Big Planet PSP for a bit 

'''Larry:''' Alright. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, ak- as you know, uh, yeah, some features I'd like to see, for the PSP version. I'd like to have it, uh, where I can sync up with the pee- with the original PS3 version, and, uh, copy the, uh, stickers and costumes and objects, that, uh, originated from the PS3 version, as well as the downloadable content... 

'''Larry:''' Mm. 

'''Chris:''' Cause I'm sure a lot of us would love to be able to play the uh, play in the spaceman suit that we, uh, got, uh, at the, uh, release of Little Big Planet, or even as Kratos or Nariko. ''(At this point, Larry tries and fails to get a word in edgewise and fails.)'' And uh, an-a-nd also another thing question, I mean uh, whatever happened to the uh, Real Media Molecule... Ibuh the Rare Mol- Media Molecule shirt that they talked about at the beginning? It never came out! 

'''Larry:''' Oh. Have you tried contertactiong them about it? Or anything? Or... 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I tried tal- I tried contacting them about that, uh, haven't got a response yet. 

'''Larry:''' You'd think they'd- You'd think they'd contact you, I mean, they did favorite one of your videos once didn't they, I mean, you are one of their stars, after all. 

'''Chris:''' Uh, okay, yeah. 

'''Larry:''' So, ah, yes. So, uh, what- and the, you, you-I didn't know you was a big fan of god of war, I thought you were opposed to, uh, violent video games. 

'''Chris:''' Oh, I like, uh, the- I like violent video games sometimes, the... I mean, I was, I mean I was particularly-I got particularly interested in the God of War series, I've been playing Chains of Olympus. 

'''Larry:''' Oh yeah. You know, being ''(cut off)'' 

'''Chris:''' And I put- 

'''Larry:''' -Buy the PS2 one for- 

'''Chris:''' -especially, the... Yeah, I mean I don't have God Of War 1 or 2, but I did get Chains of Olympus, and, uh, you know, amongst, uh, everything in the game, I particularly liked the, uh, fun little bit with the uh, two naked ladieeees! Ding! 

'''Larry:''' Um, excellent. ''(speaks over Chris)'' It's a shame you don't get to see it, though. Same, yet they always move the camera away. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but... Still, they way they uh... shake that candle bit, that's good enough. 

'''Larry:''' Yes. And, uh... Also-uh, what else? uh, what is your opinion on Grand Turismo? Have you ever... sort of into that series or anything? 'Cause they keep sayin'- you know, they keep delaying it over and over again, is there anything you'd ever be interested in? 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. ''(pause)'' Ugh, excuse me. Yeah, I like the- I like the uh, Grand Turismo. What date was that at the E3? 

'''Larry:''' Yeah. 

'''Chris:''' And, uh, it's a pretty good racing game. 

'''Larry:''' Hm. That's good. ''(the two stutter as they try to decide who speaks first)'' ...You go first, go on. 

'''Chris:''' Okay, and I still have the, uh, Grand Turismo HD thing that they released before they did-a long time before the, uh, GT5 prologue. I still have that saved in my hard drive. On the Playstation 3. 

'''Larry:''' The demo, yes. So do you- do you have a high-definition television to see it, or... 

'''Chris:''' Yep. I have an HD television. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, nice. And, uh, what else... Uh, how about Nintendo, now? So, what's, uh, what was your views on Nintendo's outshowings this year? 

'''Chris:''' Hm. I didn't see much about their take on-about what they did at the E3, because I only had the, uh, what Sony did over at the E3 downloaded from the Playstation Network... 

'''Larry:''' Yeah. 

'''Chris:''' But uh, yeah, you know, whatever Nintendo is doing, uh, you know, they have my support. 

'''Larry:''' Okay. Well, I- I'll tell you a couple of games they're bringing out this year. They're bringing out, uh, New Super Mario Brothers Wii, it's a sequel to a DS game, on the Wii. And it's gonna be four players, so it's gonna be- It's a bit like Little Big Planet, and it's gonna be like, you know, four people can play at the same time. 

'''Chris:''' Alright. 

'''Larry:''' So, what do you-what do you think of that sort of game? 

'''Chris:''' That's not-that sounds pretty good. 

'''Larry:''' So yeah, that's coming out later. And they're also bringing out a sequel to Super Mario Galaxy, Super Mario Galaxy 2. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I've heard of that. 

'''Larry:''' So, yes. Is that- is that- ''(Chris tries to talk over him and fails)'' Something that you'll be buying, or... 

'''Larry:''' Yeah, I might buy that, I mean, the... I like the Super Mario Galaxy 1. So, to buy a Super Mario Galaxy 2 sounds like something I might, uh, go- I would consider buying. Yeah. 

'''Larry:''' I'm gonna ask you. And, uh, there's a new Metroid Prime- there's a new Metroid game coming out, and it's made by the people who made Ninja Gaiden, as well, that's coming out. 

'''Chris:''' Huh. That sounds pretty good. 

'''Larry:''' So, yes, there's gonna be-it's gonna be- Basically, it's Ninja Gaiden with, uh, Samus. So... 

'''Chris:''' Hm. 

'''Larry:''' It's gonna be quite good. And, uh... Ooh! Yeah, it was a bit dry this year, actually, for uh, Nintendo, I mean there wasn't too many announced, I mean, uh, but how about- How about the, umm, the new uh, the new Wiimote? The uh, the uh, motion controller. What do you think about that? 

'''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah, it's a- yeah I think it's pretty good, I mean, gives a more uh, ease of controlling the uh, Wii-the, uh, Wiimote, among other things. Yeah, sounds like a pretty good peripheral. 

'''Larry:''' You know- you know, I think it's something they should have really put in there in the first place, rather than make us pay a game for something that they left out. 

'''Chris:''' Hm. 

'''Larry:''' So, yeah. And also, what do you think about [unintelligible] metal-new Metal Gear Solid games coming out on Metal Gear games? 

'''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, I like- Oh yeah, I'm a- yeah, those like, yeah, the Metal Gear Solid games, yeah, those are- yeah, they sound, uh, pretty good, especially the uh, I mean the- I mean, I mostly heard about the Peacemaker, they're doing for PSP- 

'''Larry:''' Alright. 

'''Chris:''' -Sounds better than-it sounds better than what they did previously on the previous, uh, Metal Gear Solid games for the PSP. 

'''Larry:''' Ah. So you did buy the, uh, Playstation 3 version, then? Metal Gear Solid 4? 

'''Chris:''' Uhhhhh, not-not yet, but I'm planning to. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, that's good. So... Uh, what else can we talk about then, uh, for E3? Um... how about uh, Sonic games? Have you, um, there hasn't been much in the way of new... [unintelligible] Sonic games released, I... 

'''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, I mean- I mean I know they're doing the, uh, that a new Sega Rally race for... Yeah, Sega Super Stars Racing. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, yeah. 

'''Chris:''' And Sonic and Tails get their car. Get cars. It's pretty mu-it's pretty much, uh, I mean, I feel like it's- like, uh, Sonic Drift and Sonic Drift 2 get an upgrade for next generation, and, uh, I like it. 

'''Larry:''' Do you think Sonic actually needs a car, being if he runs so fast? 

'''Chris:''' Heh. No, I don't think he needs the car, but it's like, you know, it's a, it's a car racing game, so it just makes it m- it just makes it more appropriate. I mean, they gave him- I mean, I mean in Sonic R, they gave him a chance to race against, uh, vehicles in Sonic R, that was fun. 

'''Larry:''' Hm. Yes, that's- I actually like Sonic R. I must admit, I do enjoy the music in that game. ''(Sings the first verse from the game's theme song)'' 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yep. 

'''Larry:''' So yes, did uh, did you own- you owned a Saturn, uh, do you still got one? 

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what? 

'''Larry:''' I said, you- you owned a Saturn as well, don't you? So you must've, you must own Sonic R. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I do. 

'''Larry:''' Yes... also, uhh.. ano- another thing a lot of people have been asking me to te- ask this. Uh, what do you think of the voice actors for Sonic the Hedgehog? [Pause] I mean there's- I must say there's- there's somebody out there on the Internet who's uh, very opposed to, uh, Jason Griffith. Uh, doing the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog. What do you think about that? You bothered with the voice? 

'''Chris:''' Y- I pretty much like the- uh, original voice they've been going with this whole time. Uhh... changing it, uhh... would be uh, I don't know- I don't know if it- well it depends, I would have to compare the new voice and compare it to the old voice to - um, make an opinion. Although I will say this. In comparison to the animated series, y'know, where they had the- uh, kid who was Urkel originally voicing Sonic the Hedgehog... versus uh... what- who they have for Sonic X and the video games... uhh.. I'd say- I'd say the newer voi- I'd say the newer guy does it much better. 

'''Larry:''' Ah.. No. There's uh- There's uh, two guys doi- uh, there was the guy doing it in Sonic Adventure and Sonic Heroes, it was a guy called Ryan Drummond. And they- uh, they fired him because he couldn't make it to New York. They hired this guy called Jason Griffith, and they uh- 

'''Chris:''' [speaking over] Oh, that's too bad. 

'''Larry:''' So yes. So yeah, basically, uh, everything you hear now is Jason Griffith, and I was just wondering if you thought- y'know- If you notice any difference? 

'''Chris:''' Hmmm. I didn't really notice a difference. 

'''Larry:''' Oh that's good. So you- yeah. So... you reckon that someone made uh- started making... per- petitions to uh, have him fired and that, is a bit over the top? 

'''Chris:''' Hmm. 

'''Larry:''' I mean, would y- would you say that's going a bit far or... 

'''Chris:''' Uhhhmm... yeah, probably. Sounds like it was going a bit far, yeah. 

'''Larry:''' Oh that's good. So yes. So th- It's a- It's a guy called, uh, Spax3. Have you ever heard of him? 

'''Chris:''' Uhhnn... I'm sorry... uhh... Dax3? 

'''Larry:''' Spax. S-P-A-X. 3. 

'''Chris:''' Oh! Spax... uhh... no, I've never heard of that one. 

'''Larry:''' Ah. Yes, it's a guy, yes. He uhm, he uh... he actually has fantasies about Cream the Rabbit as well, don't know if you know about that. 

'''Chris:''' Ohhh...[pause]...oh... huh.[another pause] Uhm, is this- is this like a villain character, this Spax? 

'''Larry:''' No! No, no! He's a- He's a real person. He's a real person. Uh, he- uh, he- uh, doesn't like people saying that. That, he- uh... likes... rabbits. He gets very upset about it. Yeah, he says he has uhh... y'know, there's a big thing on- loads of trolls on ED who want to keep saying that he likes having sex with a rabbit. 

'''Chris:''' Huh... 

'''Larry:''' He wants to have sex with a six-year old rabbit. So. So, do you- do you find that disgusting at all? 

'''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, that's his decision but I personally do not promote bestiality, as a matter of fact, I'm against it, and the bible is against it, so uh... I- Y'know uhh... he has his opinions, and he has his rights to his own opinions but personally, I'm against it. 

'''Larry:''' Even if they're half-human? 

'''Chris:''' ...Uh... even if...? 

'''Larry:''' I mean, 'cause they're like, Sonic the Hedgehog, he's- he's sort of half-human, he's not like a proper hedgehog, he's like half-human. He's got two legs and stuff, so.. does that SORT OF count? 

'''Chris:''' Uhhmm... uhhh... I don't there is, uhh... any hu- any half-human there... uhh... Yeah, I'd still say he's uh... all-animal. I'd still say they're all-animals. They just been given-uh... human form... it's not necessarily making them "half-human". 

'''Larry:''' No. So, so- uhhh... So you wouldn't say there's any human in Sonichu or anything, either then? When he's, uh, completely a Hedgehog Pokémon. Or there's no, other way 'round it... even though he stands on two legs? 

'''Chris:''' ...Yeah. 

'''Larry:''' And-uh, also, uh, how about, uh, we'll go back to gaming now, actually, so uh, uh, what else can we think of, uh, how about, yeah. Are you uh, are you buying a new DSi? Or have you bought one already? 

'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm thinking 'bout buying one. It's pretty-it sounds pretty good, it's got like uh, like, it's own built-in camera, it's good for on-the-go [unintelligible]-thinking. 

'''Larry:''' It's got two cameras. It's got two cameras. It's got two- 

'''Chris:''' Okay. 

'''Larry:''' Yeah, it's got two cameras. One you can film yourself, one you can film other people. And it's also got, like, uh, it's like a Wii, as well, it's like, you got like a Wii shop where you can buy DS games on there. So far. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, no, it's uh, it's too bad that the- Yeah, it's too bad, though, they took away the uh, GBA slot, so it's like, you could not play- you could not play GBA games, or, uh, even the Guitar Hero on there. 

'''Larry:''' No. Uh, I think they do that because, uh, basically, they, they think they might- do they make GBA games anymore? Can you still buy them new? 

'''Chris:''' Sometimes, yeah. 

'''Larry:''' Of course. That's good. So yes. So uh, yes, so what do you think about the future of gaming, what would-what would you think is the next big thing in gaming? What I mean-what would you like to see in effect? 

'''Chris:''' ''(coughing fit)'' Excuse me. 

'''Larry:''' Six-O? Phantom? 

'''Chris:''' No. Root beer. 

'''Larry:''' Okay. Has it got alcohol in it? 

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what? 

'''Larry:''' I said, has that got alcohol in it? 

'''Chris:''' No, root beer does not have alcohol in it. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, that's good. 

'''Chris:''' I mean, it's a soda pop. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, okay. No, I think- I think that it has alcohol in it if you're in Germany. They have alcohol in lots of stuff. You can now- you can buy alcohol from McDonald's in Germany. 

'''Chris:''' Huh. 

'''Larry:''' Yes. So you can have a Big Mac and a beer. Stuff and all that. 

'''Chris:''' Okay. Um... 

'''Larry:''' Ah yes, interesting fact. 

'''Chris:''' Um... Yeah. Might talk to [[The Wallflower|Damien]] about a thing like that. 

'''Larry:''' Yes. 

'''Chris:''' My sweet thang. Mmm... Umm... Yeah, I definitely um, would like to see... Yeah. Um, a little-A little bit more motion sensor control actions in like, Playstation 3 games, I mean like, I mean like in High Velocity Bowling, they did pretty good with y-using the- taking the Sixaxis controller, and uh, and then this, and then you make like, like that's a bowling ball, and you're throwing that. 

'''Larry:''' Yeah. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'd like to see more, uh, stuff like that in the Playstation 3, cause then that would give them, like, an edge, er, uh, against the, I mean, um the competition with Nintendo, with the motion sensors and the Wiimote and Nunchuk. 

'''Larry:''' You don't think this, uh, this controller they're bringing out is trying to compete with the Wiimote, then? The one with the lollipop at the end? 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. ''(cough)'' Yeah, I figure that's a fair-it's a fair competition. I mean, like, you know, final version, yeah, they should definitely do something like, you know... You know, it doesn't look all that similar, but, you know, it has all the buttons of the Sixaxis on it as well, yeah. 

'''Larry:''' Ah, that's good. Is that-is that something you'll be getting? 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. 

'''Larry:''' Do you reckon they'll have-probably use it for Little Big Planet 2, or something, or...? 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, that's good. So yes. And, uh, you're no- you're not into PC gaming at all or anything, are you? 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm not into PC gaming. 

'''Larry:''' I know, so what do you think of the announcement that s- uh, that XBox Live might be free soon as well, that they're... the only thing you can do is uh, they put adverts on the [unintelligible] 

'''Chris:''' ''(talking over)'' Oh, really? Oh, really, they're gonna make that free? 

'''Larry:''' Well that- they say that, the trade-off's that you'll have to watch some adverts on the main screen, that's it. I mean, would you, would you get an XBox, would you get on on XBox Live if it was free, but you had to watch a couple adverts? 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, probably. 

'''Larry:''' And you can actually finally play Halo as well then, sorta get into that. What do you play online at the moment, apart from life? PlayStation home, I mean.

'''Chris:''' Mmm... yeah, yeah probably.

'''Larry:''' Okay. Um. No, I mean what are you into at the moment in online gaming, I mean what sort of games do you play?

'''Chris:''' Um, like online, uh, I like playing Little Big Planet online, uh, among other game titles, I can't remember the names of them. I can't remember the names at the moment.

'''Larry:''' Ok.

'''Chris:''' That's that would be uh, that's a lot for me to think about though, yeah.

'''Larry:''' Ok uh, did you buy Ghostbusters as well?

'''Chris:''' Uh no I didn't get that yet, but yeah but I like what I've seen so far, if they release a demo then I would download that...

'''Larry:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' If I don't buy the game first...

'''Larry:''' So what was the last game you bought?

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, last game I bought... which one was that [coughs a bit] yeah I bought the new Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen video game, that was pretty good.

'''Larry:''' That's good.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I like and I've seen and I saw the movie last Wednesday and I thought it was awesome. I don't
care what the critics- how the critics put it down... I thought it was a very fun movie and it did have a good story to it and I enjoyed the story.

'''Larry:''' That's good. Yes there's enough-

'''Chris:''' I mean you know, critics will be critics... I mean like you know some of 'em get paid to praise it and some of 'em get paid to haze it, and you know I just think like you know in general I don't care for those who haze it. I mean, I mean like you know, Transformers has been uh ve-, has been uh very good and they have their own history, especially in generation one, you know in generation one they had some humor, and uh, whatnot, in uh, in the characters and in the story, so I'm thinking so I'm feeling like uh the uh movie is very much following that theme and I think I think Michael Bay is doing a good job with that.

'''Larry:''' So yes, Optimus Prime did die in the second one then?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he died but yeah [clears throat] but they brought him back to life shortly enough with the Matrix of Leadership.

'''Larry:''' Yeah, that's good because you don't want any kids to lock themselves in their rooms for several days, and all that...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, especially like you know in the generation one, they brought him back to life episodes later in the two part episode.

'''Larry:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' [Fake sounding cough] Excuse me. I got a frog in my throat! He's using my tonsils for a lily pad!

'''Larry:''' Oh dear! So yes...

'''Chris:''' It's a little joke I picked up from Red Skelton.

'''Larry:''' He is indeed a master of comedy!

'''Chris:''' Yep! Very funny man.

'''Larry:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' And a good human being as well.

'''Larry:''' Oh, that's good.

{{Transcription}}

==Excerpts==
===Preview (Cumming Soon...)===

<center>{{#ev:youtube|-wLuussu4iQ}}</center>

{{quote|Yep. Hello.}}

====Transcript====

'''Larry:''' Hello, and welcome to my very first interview with various people… from the Internet! And with me tonight, we have [[Christian Weston Chandler]]… uh, best known on the Internet for-- creator of [[Sonichu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]!

'''Larry:''' Hello there, Christian.

'''Chris:''' Yep. Hello.

'''Larry:''' So… yes. Good.

===Chris-chan Discusses... [[BILLY MAYS]]===

<center>{{#ev:youtube|ly4HcwZioJk}}</center>

{{quote|I'm still the mayor of Cwcville. There is no elections.}}

====Transcript====
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|right|"I'm damn straight!"]]
'''Chris:''' (fading in)...you know, I read in de uh- read in the announcement video about [[BILLY MAYS|BILLY's MAYS]]- about uh, well I quoted Wikipedia about BILLY's cause of death which was basically something like a heart attack.

'''Larry:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' And I was in [[Wikipedia:Charlotte County, Virginia|Red Oak]] the whole weekend.

'''Larry:''' You do know he was involved in a plane crash the day before as well?

'''Chris:'''...oh...yeah I s'pose that would put a lot of [[stress]] and to, uh, futher induce the heart attack, yeah.

'''Larry:''' So yeah so it could be- You wa- you wu- you weren't flying the plane, we'll get that straight, were you flying the plane?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I was not- yeah I was not flyin' da plane I was in Red Oak with my mother and my relatives.

'''Larry:''' Okay...So yes, so you've got no ulterior motives to-

'''Chris:''' I have no ulterior motives, oh and in fact- I forgot to say this in the video but uhh, I often confuse BILLY MAYS with with [[Wikipedia:Richard Karn|Richard Karn]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Home Improvement (TV series)|Home Improvement]], 'cause they both look and act- both looked, acted, and sounded alike.

'''Larry:''' You mean they're both fat and got a beard?

'''Chris:''' Uhh...no, I've been talm 'bout, you know, aside from the beard like you know the other facial features, and the voice...I just often confused uh BILLY with Richard Karn.

'''Larry:''' Yeah I often confuse people with fictional characters as well so...It's n- it's quite easy to do...so-

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Larry:''' So what do you think of the people calling for [[Adam Stackhouse]] to be the new mayor of [[CWCville]] as well?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, no no no no, I'm still the mayor of CWCville, there is no elections. I mean that's just a whole bunch of uh rumors on the internet that trolls are uh just talking amongst themselves...uhh, just, do not believe anything that comes from the trolls, it's all just a bunch of rumor- it's all just a bunch of false rumors and lies.

'''Larry:''' Uh, is uh, are you gonna be announcing BILLY MAYS's death in your comic as well or anything or...?

'''Chris:''' Uhh...Ohh yeah well let me just uh- I mean, I've already uploaded a video onto YouTube too, but let me just say that once again I never- HE never was the mayor of CWCville, when I made that statement on a YouTube I was blackmailed into doing dat by uhh, the uh quote unquote [[BlueSpike|"Julie's brother," that little 13 year old brat]] so I was lying out of my ass when I said that.

'''Larry:''' Ah. Yes. If I could a-

'''Chris:''' I- SO I BIN- So I've always been the mayor of CWCville and I still am, there's no question about it.

'''Larry:''' Ah. Now it was quite (Chris coughs) it was quite hard to tell if you were lying or not because we couldn't see if you were holding an [[Optimus Prime]] ... I saw ... so, uh, so if it was on video we would known you was lying.

'''Chris:''' (Unnecessarily forced cough) Uh, yeah, well I was lying out my ass when I said tha- when I said that I was a..."[[homosexual]]"...lyin' out my ass when I said that bun everybody knows I'm damn straight.

'''Larry:''' Yes of course, you are indeed a fine role model for us heterosexuals.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... thank you.

'''Larry:''' You're welcome.

===Chris-chan Discusses... Spax3 & Jason Griffith===

''Note: For anyone wondering who [http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Spax3 Spax3] (real name: Alexander/Edison Prins-Stairs) is, the best way to describe him is if [[ED]] was an Olympic sport, Spax would have the silver medal to Chris's gold.''

''Other note: Up until Larry informs him otherwise, Chris is under the impression that "Spax3" is a new character in an upcoming [[Sonic]] game. How he came to this conclusion is unknown. You are welcome to speculate, though.''

''Jason Griffith is Spax's equivalent of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].''
<center>{{#ev:youtube|8V4w-OSdslo}}</center>

====Transcript====

Larry: Yes... also, uhh.. ano- another thing a lot of people have been asking me to te- ask this. Uh, what do you think of the voice actors for Sonic the Hedgehog? [Pause] I mean there's- I must say there's- there's somebody out there on the Internet who's uh, very opposed to, uh, Jason Griffith. Uh, doing the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog. What do you think about that? You bothered with the voice?

 Chris: Mmm... Y- I pretty much like the- uh, original voice they've been going with this whole time. Uhh... changing it, uhh... would be uh, I don't know- I don't know if it- well it depends, I would have to compare the new voice and compare it to the old voice to - um, make an opinion. Although I will say this. In comparison to the animated series, y'know, where they had the- uh, [[Wikipedia:Jaleel White|kid who was Urkel]] originally voicing Sonic the Hedgehog... versus uh... what- who they have for [[Wikipedia:Sonic X|Sonic X]] and the video games... uhh.. I'd say- I'd say the newer voi- I'd say the newer guy does it much better.

Larry: Ah.. No. There's uh- There's uh, two guys doi- uh, there was the guy doing it in [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|''Sonic Adventure'']] and [[Wikipedia:Sonic Heroes|''Sonic Heroes'']], it was a guy called [[Wikipedia:Ryan Drummond|Ryan Drummond]]. And they- uh, they fired him because he couldn't make it to New York. They hired this guy called [[Wikipedia:Jason Griffith|Jason Griffith]], and they uh-

 Chris: [speaking over] Oh, that's too bad.

Larry: So yes. So yeah, basically, uh, everything you hear now is Jason Griffith, and I was just wondering if you thought- y'know- If you notice any difference?

 Chris: Hmmm. I didn't really notice a difference.

Larry: Oh that's good. So you- yeah. So... you reckon that someone made uh- started making... per- petitions to uh, have him fired and that, is a bit over the top?

 Chris: Hmm.

Larry: I mean, would y- would you say that's going a bit far or...

 Chris: Uhhhmm... yeah, probably. Sounds like it was going a bit far, yeah.

Larry: Oh that's good. So yes. So th- It's a- It's a guy called, uh, Spax3. Have you ever heard of him?

 Chris: Uhhnn... I'm sorry... uhh... Dax3?

Larry: SPAX! [Spells it out] S-P-A-X-3 ...

 Chris: Oh! Spax... uhh... no, I've never heard of that one.

Larry: Ah. Yes, it's a guy, yes. He uhm, he uh... he actually has fantasies about [[Wikipedia:Cream the Rabbit|Cream the Rabbit]] as well, don't know if you know about that.

 Chris: Ohhh...[pause]...oh... huh.[another pause] Uhm, is this- is this like a villain character, this Spax?

Larry: [Speaking over] No! No, no! He's a- He's a real person. He's a real person. Uh, he- uh, he- uh, doesn't like people saying that. That, he- uh... likes... rabbits. He gets very upset about it. Yeah, he says he has uhh... y'know, there's a big thing on- loads of trolls on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] who want to keep saying that he likes having sex with a rabbit.

 Chris: Huh...

Larry: He wants to have sex with a six-year old rabbit. So. So, do you- do you find that disgusting at all?

 Chris: Mmm... Well, that's his decision but I personally [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|do not promote bestiality]], as a matter of fact, I'm against it, [[Religion|and the bible is against it]], so uh... I- Y'know uhh... he has his opinions, and he has his rights to his own opinions but personally, I'm against it.

Larry: Even if they're half-human?

 Chris: [Pause] Uh... even if...?

Larry: I mean, 'cause they're like, Sonic the Hedgehog, he's- he's sort of half-human, he's not like a proper hedgehog, he's like half-human. He's got two legs and stuff, so.. does that SORT OF count?

 Chris: Uhhmm... uhhh... I don't there is, uhh... any hu- any half-human there... uhh...

 Chris: Yeah, I'd still say he's uh... ALL-ANIMAL. I'd still say they're all-animals. They just been given-uh... human form... it's not necessarily making them "half-human".

Larry: No. So, so- uhhh... So you wouldn't say there's any human in [[Sonichu]] or anything, either then? When he's, uh, completely a [[Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Or there's no, other way 'round it... even though he stands on two legs?

 Chris: [Pause]... yeah.

===Chris-chan Discusses... E3 (2009) Little Big Planet===

''* Note E3 (Electronics Entertainment Expo) is a large trade fair for the video games industry held in LA every year around the end of May/June showcasing the following year's releases.''

<center>{{#ev:youtube|IxOI63oNDzM}}</center>

====Transcript====

Larry: Right, so, uh, we're gonna be talking about E3 today, so, uh, what about- Start again from the overall thing, what's your overall opinion of the uh, video games on there this year. What do you think of them?

 Chris: Oh yeah, I like the games, they're very good. I personally interested in the uh, y'know, [[God of War]] 3 and uh, the PSP version of [[Little_Big_Planet|Little Big Planet]].

Larry: Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. And what do you- What do you think of the PSP Go, is that something you might be buying, or...

 Chris: Yeah, I might buys that for myself, but I would be [[Chris_and_Money|keeping my PSP 2000]] as well.

Larry: Oh, yeah, so-

 Chris: Cause, y'know, I have a bunch of [[Wikipedia:Universal Media Disc|UMD]] games...

Larry: No, you don't wanna get rid of that just yet.

 Chris: Yeah.

Larry: You're not being tempted to modify it or anything, so you could play copied games on it, from the hard dr- the Memory Card?

 Chris: Yeah.

Larry: Oh, That's good.

 Chris: Yeah, let me talk about Little Big Planet PSP for a bit

Larry: Alright.

 Chris: Yeah, ak- as you know, uh, yeah, some features I'd like to see, for the [[PSP]] version. I'd like to have it, uh, where I can sync up with the [[Dirty_Crapped_Briefs|pee-]] with the original [[PS3|PS3]] version, and, uh, copy the, uh, stickers and costumes and objects, that, uh, originated from the PS3 version, as well as the downloadable content...

Larry: Mm.

 Chris: Cause I'm sure a [[Trolls|lot of us]] would love to be able to play the uh, play in the spaceman suit that we, uh, got, uh, at the, uh, release of Little Big Planet, or even as Kratos or [[Gay|Nariko]]. ''(At this point, Larry tries to get a word in edgewise and fails)'' And uh, an-a-nd also another thing question, I mean uh, whatever happened to the uh, Real Media Molecule... Ibuh the ''Rare'' Mol- Media Molecule shirt that they talked about at the beginning? It never came out! 

Larry: Oh. Have you tried contertactiong them about it? Or anything? Or...

 Chris: ''(licks lips)'' Yeah, I tried tal- I tried contacting them about that, uh, haven't got a response yet.

Larry: You'd think they'd- You'd think they'd contact you, I mean, they did favorite one of your videos once didn't they, I mean, you are one of their stars, after all.

 Chris: Okay yeah.

''(cuts)''

 Chris: It's just, y'know, I think, uh, couple of, I think uh, I'd like to address a couple more ''Little Big Planet'' issues.

Larry: Okay.

 Chris: Yeah, let's see, we talked about linki- linking up with- between the PSP and PS3 versions... With the copying the costumes and the stickers and all that... Mmmm... See, it's like... [[Butt_garments|Expandable]] memory usage, for like, y'know, y'know, people are just gonna [[Autism|continue collecting the objects]] from the custom levels And uh, creating their own levels, but it's like, y'know, you keep on go- you keep on creating and collecting and like, you g- it's not- it's- you collect too much, and then uh, you won't be able to save your profile. Uh, on your, on your, on your hard drive. I'd like to see, like, y'know, like expandable memory, like, y'know uh, it, like, it grows as you collect, the memory?

Larry: Yeah.

 Chris: Yeah, so, yeah, I'd like to see that. And, uh, also, another thing I'd like to see - a soundtrack to uh, music on Little Big Planet, cause it's good music.

Larry: I think it's all licensed and it'd be pretty hard to-

 Chris: ''(cuts in)'' PRETTY GOOD MUSIC I'D LIKE TO, UH, S-

Larry: Yeah, a lot of it is licensed, that might be a bit hard.

 Chris: Yeah, I liked it. Yeah, especially uh, also the uh... Heh. I mean, like, y'know, I guess, y'know, people probably pirate the uh, one song that put the game in the question that delayed it's release by a week or two. Remember that?

Larry: Oh. Yeah, it actually got released in Britain with that... My copy had it on.

 Chris: ...Heh.

Larry: It's actually on the disc- It's actually, the song is actually on the disc, but they released a patch to remove it.

 Chris: Yeah. I've heard about that, yeah.

Larry: So if you got rid of that patch... If you got rid of that patch you could actually listen to it.

 Chris: Yeah, yeah I know, I've heard- I've heard about that, but... Still, I mean, like, y'know, game soundtrack would be good. Yeah, even, like, y'know, if they released it in the Playstation Store, like they did with soundtrack to, uh, Pixeljunk Monsters.

Larry: Yeah.

 Chris: And then put that up for sale, yeah, I would, uh, definitely pay, like, ten-twelve bucks to, uh, download those tracks.

Larry: That much, eh? So yeah. So what would you...

 Chris: Yeah.

Larry: What would you like to have included into Little Big Planet in future. I mean, what sort of, uh, characters and designs and stuff?

 Chris: Yeah, I- I mean, like, y'know, I liked what they're doing about the uh- What they talked about at E3, uh, [[Chris_and_sex#Bestiality|doing Disney characters]]? But I'd like to see... [[Transformers|Transformers]]. Like, y'know, Me- like for y'know, [[Optimus Prime]], [[Zapina|Bumblebee]], [[Julie|Starscream]] and [[Clyde_Cash|Megatron]] or even, like, [[Megan|Soundwave from Generation 1]], that'd be cool.

Larry: Yes. I AGREE.

 Chris: Make it even, like, y'know,two sets of costumes, y'know, one from Generation 1 and one for the movie.

Larry: Hm.

 Chris: And a whole buncha stickers!

Larry: Ah.

 Chris: That- That'd be awesome.

Larry: Yes, it would be then, yes.

===Chris-chan Discusses... Transformers===
<center>
{{#ev:youtube|_1v0aPxgh0Q}}
</center>

====Transcript====

'''Larry:''' What do you play online at the moment, apart from life? PlayStation home, I mean.

'''Chris:''' Mmm... yeah, yeah probably.

'''Larry:''' Okay. Um. No, I mean what are you into at the moment in online gaming, I mean what sort of games do you play?

'''Chris:''' Um, like online, uh, I like playing Little Big Planet online, uh, among other game titles, I can't remember the names of them. I can't remember the names at the moment.

'''Larry:''' Ok.

'''Chris:''' That's that would be uh, that's a lot for me to think about though, yeah.

'''Larry:''' Ok uh, did you buy Ghostbusters as well?

'''Chris:''' Uh no I didn't get that yet, but yeah but I like what I've seen so far, if they release a demo then I would download that...

'''Larry:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' If I don't buy the game first...

'''Larry:''' So what was the last game you bought?

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, last game I bought... which one was that [coughs a bit] yeah I bought the new Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen video game, that was pretty good.

'''Larry:''' That's good.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I like and I've seen and I saw the movie last Wednesday and I thought it was awesome. I don't
care what the critics- how the critics put it down... I thought it was a very fun movie and it did have a good story to it and I enjoyed the story.

'''Larry:''' That's good. Yes there's enough-

'''Chris:''' I mean you know, critics will be critics... I mean like you know some of 'em get paid to praise it and some of 'em get paid to haze it, and you know I just think like you know in general I don't care for those who haze it. I mean, I mean like you know, Transformers has been uh ve-, has been uh very good and they have their own history, especially in generation one, you know in generation one they had some humor, and uh, whatnot, in uh, in the characters and in the story, so I'm thinking so I'm feeling like uh the uh movie is very much following that theme and I think I think Michael Bay is doing a good job with that.

'''Larry:''' So yes, Optimus Prime did die in the second one then?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he died but yeah [clears throat] but they brought him back to life shortly enough with the Matrix of Leadership.

'''Larry:''' Yeah, that's good because you don't want any kids to lock themselves in their rooms for several days, and all that...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, especially like you know in the generation one, they brought him back to life episodes later in the two part episode.

'''Larry:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' [Fake sounding cough] excuse me. I got a frog in my throat! He's using my tonsils for a lily pad!

'''Larry:''' Oh dear! So yes...

'''Chris:''' It's a little joke I picked up from Red Skelton.

'''Larry:''' He is indeed a master of comedy!

'''Chris:''' Yep! Very funny man.

'''Larry:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' And a good human being as well.

'''Larry:''' Oh, that's good.

 '''[Video Break]'''

'''SAE:''' So yes. What's with that bruise on your head as well, how did you get that?

'''Chris:''' Bruise on my head?

'''Larry:''' Yeah, you got a cut on top of your head there, the other side, the other side, the other side, yeah.

'''Chris:''' Oh, it's just uh, it's just a bug bite.

'''Larry:''' Ah, ok. I thought we had a bit of a ruckus at the wedding or something.

'''Chris:''' No, no, did not have a ruckus at the wedding. It was a nice wedding.

'''Larry:''' Oh I see.

==References==
<references/>

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-03]]
[[Category: Interview videos| 2009-07-03]]

Chris-chan Discusses...

2012-09-06T18:41:41Z

Ormsondo:

'''Chris-chan Discusses...''' is a series of [[July 2009]] video interviews between Larry Bundy Jr., aka "Guru Larry" of [[Wikipedia:Channel Awesome|That Guy With The Glasses.com]] (a website dedicated to video game and movie reviews) and the Internet's favorite autistic manchild, [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Guru Larry is the second big name fan of CWC, along with animator Harry Partridge.

While a normal person would see Larry is clearly insulting Chris to his face, Chris's [[autism]] prevented him from comprehending Larry's blatant sarcasm. The only thing Chris picked up on was that Larry was using the Bulk and Skull theme from ''[[Power Rangers]]'', which has negative connotations. This was the second time that Chris gave a public interview.

Chris obviously has no idea whatsoever how to conduct an interview, shifting all of the pressure to Larry and trying to avoid answers which force him to be creative or think a bit, especially in the beginning.

For a long time, only selected extracts were available, until Guru Larry released the full interview on 30 [[August 2012]].

==Directors' Cut==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|bRbFWKPvktU}}</center>

===Transcript===
''Video opens with white caption on black screen.'' 

'''Caption:''' Some of my long-term fans may remember I once held a series of interviews with Chris-Chan in June 2009. 
I never uploaded the full version before, due to the amount of editing it needed for lip-syncing due to lag. Also, because I lost what I thought was the only copy during a hard drive failure. 
But by total luck, I recently discovered a back-up copy. 
So after some pain staking, ''(sic)'' re-editing, synching, and general HD upscalingness, For the first time ever... the highly demanded full, uncut Chris-Chan interview!

'''Larry:''' -Sec, yeah, you got it? That's better. And how d'you get rid of the graphics on the screen as well?

'''Chris:''' The, uh, the what on the screen?

'''Larry:''' Oh, there you go. Now I've got rid of them. So there you go. So yes. That's, that-yeah, that's quite good. Did you know that- Do you know that there's a little twisty thing on the front of your camera that makes it zoom in, as well, so you can do that close up.

'''Chris:''' Uh, um...

'''Larry:''' So that's... So that, that little th- you know that th- you know that little plastic thing in the front, you can twist it, see, look. ''(puts hand on camera, which zooms out, then back in.)''

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Larry:''' So that's... quite good... So yes, let me just... try and get comfortable, there you go... There you go. So, uh how should-how should we start this, how do we start to... start this?

'''Chris:''' Well, like how you would normally start an interview.

'''Larry:''' Okay. Uhh... Let's have a s- let's have a thing out to start this... Okay. Three. Okay, now let's just move this camera just... tiny bit. There you go. Hello, and welcome to my first introduction for a YouTube celebrity. A first- I can't say it. Uh... How should we- how should we start it? How shall I intr-pronou-How shall I announce you, how would you like to be announced?

'''Chris:''' Uh, however you feel.

'''Larry:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Like you want to announce me.

'''Larry:''' Okay. All right, I'll prepare-I'll announce you as Sonichu creator, shall I, or... will that be... good? Okay, um...

'''Larry:''' Hello, and welcome to my very first interview with various people… from the Internet! And with me tonight, we have Christian Weston Chandler… uh, best known on the Internet for-- creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon! Hello, there, Christian! 

'''Chris:''' Yep. Hello. 

'''Larry:''' So... Yes. Good. Uh, so, uh, we're gonna be talking about E3 today, so, uh, what about- you know the- Start again from the overall thing, what's your overall opinion of uh, the video games on there this year. What do you think of them? 

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, I like the games, they're very good. Especially interested in the uh, y'know, God of War 3 and uh, the PSP version of Little Big Planet. 

'''Larry:''' Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. And what do you- What do you think of the PSP Go, is that something you might be buying, or... 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I might buys that for myself, but I would be keeping my PSP 2000 as well. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, yeah, so- 

'''Chris:''' Cause, y'know, I have a bunch of UMD games... 

'''Larry:''' No, you don't wanna get rid of that just yet. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. 

'''Larry:''' You're not being tempted to modify it or anything, so you could play copied games on it, from the hard dr- the Memory Card? 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, That's good. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, let me talk about Little Big Planet PSP for a bit 

'''Larry:''' Alright. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, ak- as you know, uh, yeah, some features I'd like to see, for the PSP version. I'd like to have it, uh, where I can sync up with the pee- with the original PS3 version, and, uh, copy the, uh, stickers and costumes and objects, that, uh, originated from the PS3 version, as well as the downloadable content... 

'''Larry:''' Mm. 

'''Chris:''' Cause I'm sure a lot of us would love to be able to play the uh, play in the spaceman suit that we, uh, got, uh, at the, uh, release of Little Big Planet, or even as Kratos or Nariko. ''(At this point, Larry tries and fails to get a word in edgewise and fails.)'' And uh, an-a-nd also another thing question, I mean uh, whatever happened to the uh, Real Media Molecule... Ibuh the Rare Mol- Media Molecule shirt that they talked about at the beginning? It never came out! 

'''Larry:''' Oh. Have you tried contertactiong them about it? Or anything? Or... 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I tried tal- I tried contacting them about that, uh, haven't got a response yet. 

'''Larry:''' You'd think they'd- You'd think they'd contact you, I mean, they did favorite one of your videos once didn't they, I mean, you are one of their stars, after all. 

'''Chris:''' Uh, okay, yeah. 

'''Larry:''' So, ah, yes. So, uh, what- and the, you, you-I didn't know you was a big fan of god of war, I thought you were opposed to, uh, violent video games. 

'''Chris:''' Oh, I like, uh, the- I like violent video games sometimes, the... I mean, I was, I mean I was particularly-I got particularly interested in the God of War series, I've been playing Chains of Olympus. 

'''Larry:''' Oh yeah. You know, being ''(cut off)'' 

'''Chris:''' And I put- 

'''Larry:''' -Buy the PS2 one for- 

'''Chris:''' -especially, the... Yeah, I mean I don't have God Of War 1 or 2, but I did get Chains of Olympus, and, uh, you know, amongst, uh, everything in the game, I particularly liked the, uh, fun little bit with the uh, two naked ladieeees! Ding! 

'''Larry:''' Um, excellent. ''(speaks over Chris)'' It's a shame you don't get to see it, though. Same, yet they always move the camera away. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but... Still, they way they uh... shake that candle bit, that's good enough. 

'''Larry:''' Yes. And, uh... Also-uh, what else? uh, what is your opinion on Grand Turismo? Have you ever... sort of into that series or anything? 'Cause they keep sayin'- you know, they keep delaying it over and over again, is there anything you'd ever be interested in? 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. ''(pause)'' Ugh, excuse me. Yeah, I like the- I like the uh, Grand Turismo. What date was that at the E3? 

'''Larry:''' Yeah. 

'''Chris:''' And, uh, it's a pretty good racing game. 

'''Larry:''' Hm. That's good. ''(the two stutter as they try to decide who speaks first)'' ...You go first, go on. 

'''Chris:''' Okay, and I still have the, uh, Grand Turismo HD thing that they released before they did-a long time before the, uh, GT5 prologue. I still have that saved in my hard drive. On the Playstation 3. 

'''Larry:''' The demo, yes. So do you- do you have a high-definition television to see it, or... 

'''Chris:''' Yep. I have an HD television. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, nice. And, uh, what else... Uh, how about Nintendo, now? So, what's, uh, what was your views on Nintendo's outshowings this year? 

'''Chris:''' Hm. I didn't see much about their take on-about what they did at the E3, because I only had the, uh, what Sony did over at the E3 downloaded from the Playstation Network... 

'''Larry:''' Yeah. 

'''Chris:''' But uh, yeah, you know, whatever Nintendo is doing, uh, you know, they have my support. 

'''Larry:''' Okay. Well, I- I'll tell you a couple of games they're bringing out this year. They're bringing out, uh, New Super Mario Brothers Wii, it's a sequel to a DS game, on the Wii. And it's gonna be four players, so it's gonna be- It's a bit like Little Big Planet, and it's gonna be like, you know, four people can play at the same time. 

'''Chris:''' Alright. 

'''Larry:''' So, what do you-what do you think of that sort of game? 

'''Chris:''' That's not-that sounds pretty good. 

'''Larry:''' So yeah, that's coming out later. And they're also bringing out a sequel to Super Mario Galaxy, Super Mario Galaxy 2. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I've heard of that. 

'''Larry:''' So, yes. Is that- is that- ''(Chris tries to talk over him and fails)'' Something that you'll be buying, or... 

'''Larry:''' Yeah, I might buy that, I mean, the... I like the Super Mario Galaxy 1. So, to buy a Super Mario Galaxy 2 sounds like something I might, uh, go- I would consider buying. Yeah. 

'''Larry:''' I'm gonna ask you. And, uh, there's a new Metroid Prime- there's a new Metroid game coming out, and it's made by the people who made Ninja Gaiden, as well, that's coming out. 

'''Chris:''' Huh. That sounds pretty good. 

'''Larry:''' So, yes, there's gonna be-it's gonna be- Basically, it's Ninja Gaiden with, uh, Samus. So... 

'''Chris:''' Hm. 

'''Larry:''' It's gonna be quite good. And, uh... Ooh! Yeah, it was a bit dry this year, actually, for uh, Nintendo, I mean there wasn't too many announced, I mean, uh, but how about- How about the, umm, the new uh, the new Wiimote? The uh, the uh, motion controller. What do you think about that? 

'''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah, it's a- yeah I think it's pretty good, I mean, gives a more uh, ease of controlling the uh, Wii-the, uh, Wiimote, among other things. Yeah, sounds like a pretty good peripheral. 

'''Larry:''' You know- you know, I think it's something they should have really put in there in the first place, rather than make us pay a game for something that they left out. 

'''Chris:''' Hm. 

'''Larry:''' So, yeah. And also, what do you think about [unintelligible] metal-new Metal Gear Solid games coming out on Metal Gear games? 

'''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, I like- Oh yeah, I'm a- yeah, those like, yeah, the Metal Gear Solid games, yeah, those are- yeah, they sound, uh, pretty good, especially the uh, I mean the- I mean, I mostly heard about the Peacemaker, they're doing for PSP- 

'''Larry:''' Alright. 

'''Chris:''' -Sounds better than-it sounds better than what they did previously on the previous, uh, Metal Gear Solid games for the PSP. 

'''Larry:''' Ah. So you did buy the, uh, Playstation 3 version, then? Metal Gear Solid 4? 

'''Chris:''' Uhhhhh, not-not yet, but I'm planning to. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, that's good. So... Uh, what else can we talk about then, uh, for E3? Um... how about uh, Sonic games? Have you, um, there hasn't been much in the way of new... [unintelligible] Sonic games released, I... 

'''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, I mean- I mean I know they're doing the, uh, that a new Sega Rally race for... Yeah, Sega Super Stars Racing. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, yeah. 

'''Chris:''' And Sonic and Tails get their car. Get cars. It's pretty mu-it's pretty much, uh, I mean, I feel like it's- like, uh, Sonic Drift and Sonic Drift 2 get an upgrade for next generation, and, uh, I like it. 

'''Larry:''' Do you think Sonic actually needs a car, being if he runs so fast? 

'''Chris:''' Heh. No, I don't think he needs the car, but it's like, you know, it's a, it's a car racing game, so it just makes it m- it just makes it more appropriate. I mean, they gave him- I mean, I mean in Sonic R, they gave him a chance to race against, uh, vehicles in Sonic R, that was fun. 

'''Larry:''' Hm. Yes, that's- I actually like Sonic R. I must admit, I do enjoy the music in that game. ''(Sings the first verse from the game's theme song)'' 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yep. 

'''Larry:''' So yes, did uh, did you own- you owned a Saturn, uh, do you still got one? 

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what? 

'''Larry:''' I said, you- you owned a Saturn as well, don't you? So you must've, you must own Sonic R. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I do. 

'''Larry:''' Yes... also, uhh.. ano- another thing a lot of people have been asking me to te- ask this. Uh, what do you think of the voice actors for Sonic the Hedgehog? [Pause] I mean there's- I must say there's- there's somebody out there on the Internet who's uh, very opposed to, uh, Jason Griffith. Uh, doing the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog. What do you think about that? You bothered with the voice? 

'''Chris:''' Y- I pretty much like the- uh, original voice they've been going with this whole time. Uhh... changing it, uhh... would be uh, I don't know- I don't know if it- well it depends, I would have to compare the new voice and compare it to the old voice to - um, make an opinion. Although I will say this. In comparison to the animated series, y'know, where they had the- uh, kid who was Urkel originally voicing Sonic the Hedgehog... versus uh... what- who they have for Sonic X and the video games... uhh.. I'd say- I'd say the newer voi- I'd say the newer guy does it much better. 

'''Larry:''' Ah.. No. There's uh- There's uh, two guys doi- uh, there was the guy doing it in Sonic Adventure and Sonic Heroes, it was a guy called Ryan Drummond. And they- uh, they fired him because he couldn't make it to New York. They hired this guy called Jason Griffith, and they uh- 

'''Chris:''' [speaking over] Oh, that's too bad. 

'''Larry:''' So yes. So yeah, basically, uh, everything you hear now is Jason Griffith, and I was just wondering if you thought- y'know- If you notice any difference? 

'''Chris:''' Hmmm. I didn't really notice a difference. 

'''Larry:''' Oh that's good. So you- yeah. So... you reckon that someone made uh- started making... per- petitions to uh, have him fired and that, is a bit over the top? 

'''Chris:''' Hmm. 

'''Larry:''' I mean, would y- would you say that's going a bit far or... 

'''Chris:''' Uhhhmm... yeah, probably. Sounds like it was going a bit far, yeah. 

'''Larry:''' Oh that's good. So yes. So th- It's a- It's a guy called, uh, Spax3. Have you ever heard of him? 

'''Chris:''' Uhhnn... I'm sorry... uhh... Dax3? 

'''Larry:''' Spax. S-P-A-X. 3. 

'''Chris:''' Oh! Spax... uhh... no, I've never heard of that one. 

'''Larry:''' Ah. Yes, it's a guy, yes. He uhm, he uh... he actually has fantasies about Cream the Rabbit as well, don't know if you know about that. 

'''Chris:''' Ohhh...[pause]...oh... huh.[another pause] Uhm, is this- is this like a villain character, this Spax? 

'''Larry:''' No! No, no! He's a- He's a real person. He's a real person. Uh, he- uh, he- uh, doesn't like people saying that. That, he- uh... likes... rabbits. He gets very upset about it. Yeah, he says he has uhh... y'know, there's a big thing on- loads of trolls on ED who want to keep saying that he likes having sex with a rabbit. 

'''Chris:''' Huh... 

'''Larry:''' He wants to have sex with a six-year old rabbit. So. So, do you- do you find that disgusting at all? 

'''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, that's his decision but I personally do not promote bestiality, as a matter of fact, I'm against it, and the bible is against it, so uh... I- Y'know uhh... he has his opinions, and he has his rights to his own opinions but personally, I'm against it. 

'''Larry:''' Even if they're half-human? 

'''Chris:''' ...Uh... even if...? 

'''Larry:''' I mean, 'cause they're like, Sonic the Hedgehog, he's- he's sort of half-human, he's not like a proper hedgehog, he's like half-human. He's got two legs and stuff, so.. does that SORT OF count? 

'''Chris:''' Uhhmm... uhhh... I don't there is, uhh... any hu- any half-human there... uhh... Yeah, I'd still say he's uh... all-animal. I'd still say they're all-animals. They just been given-uh... human form... it's not necessarily making them "half-human". 

'''Larry:''' No. So, so- uhhh... So you wouldn't say there's any human in Sonichu or anything, either then? When he's, uh, completely a Hedgehog Pokémon. Or there's no, other way 'round it... even though he stands on two legs? 

'''Chris:''' ...Yeah. 

'''Larry:''' And-uh, also, uh, how about, uh, we'll go back to gaming now, actually, so uh, uh, what else can we think of, uh, how about, yeah. Are you uh, are you buying a new DSi? Or have you bought one already? 

'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm thinking 'bout buying one. It's pretty-it sounds pretty good, it's got like uh, like, it's own built-in camera, it's good for on-the-go [unintelligible]-thinking. 

'''Larry:''' It's got two cameras. It's got two cameras. It's got two- 

'''Chris:''' Okay. 

'''Larry:''' Yeah, it's got two cameras. One you can film yourself, one you can film other people. And it's also got, like, uh, it's like a Wii, as well, it's like, you got like a Wii shop where you can buy DS games on there. So far. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, no, it's uh, it's too bad that the- Yeah, it's too bad, though, they took away the uh, GBA slot, so it's like, you could not play- you could not play GBA games, or, uh, even the Guitar Hero on there. 

'''Larry:''' No. Uh, I think they do that because, uh, basically, they, they think they might- do they make GBA games anymore? Can you still buy them new? 

'''Chris:''' Sometimes, yeah. 

'''Larry:''' Of course. That's good. So yes. So uh, yes, so what do you think about the future of gaming, what would-what would you think is the next big thing in gaming? What I mean-what would you like to see in effect? 

'''Chris:''' ''(coughing fit)'' Excuse me. 

'''Larry:''' Six-O? Phantom? 

'''Chris:''' No. Root beer. 

'''Larry:''' Okay. Has it got alcohol in it? 

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what? 

'''Larry:''' I said, has that got alcohol in it? 

'''Chris:''' No, root beer does not have alcohol in it. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, that's good. 

'''Chris:''' I mean, it's a soda pop. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, okay. No, I think- I think that it has alcohol in it if you're in Germany. They have alcohol in lots of stuff. You can now- you can buy alcohol from McDonald's in Germany. 

'''Chris:''' Huh. 

'''Larry:''' Yes. So you can have a Big Mac and a beer. Stuff and all that. 

'''Chris:''' Okay. Um... 

'''Larry:''' Ah yes, interesting fact. 

'''Chris:''' Um... Yeah. Might talk to [[The Wallflower|Damien]] about a thing like that. 

'''Larry:''' Yes. 

'''Chris:''' My sweet thang. Mmm... Umm... Yeah, I definitely um, would like to see... Yeah. Um, a little-A little bit more motion sensor control actions in like, Playstation 3 games, I mean like, I mean like in High Velocity Bowling, they did pretty good with y-using the- taking the Sixaxis controller, and uh, and then this, and then you make like, like that's a bowling ball, and you're throwing that. 

'''Larry:''' Yeah. 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'd like to see more, uh, stuff like that in the Playstation 3, cause then that would give them, like, an edge, er, uh, against the, I mean, um the competition with Nintendo, with the motion sensors and the Wiimote and Nunchuk. 

'''Larry:''' You don't think this, uh, this controller they're bringing out is trying to compete with the Wiimote, then? The one with the lollipop at the end? 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. ''(cough)'' Yeah, I figure that's a fair-it's a fair competition. I mean, like, you know, final version, yeah, they should definitely do something like, you know... You know, it doesn't look all that similar, but, you know, it has all the buttons of the Sixaxis on it as well, yeah. 

'''Larry:''' Ah, that's good. Is that-is that something you'll be getting? 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. 

'''Larry:''' Do you reckon they'll have-probably use it for Little Big Planet 2, or something, or...? 

'''Chris:''' Yeah. 

'''Larry:''' Oh, that's good. So yes. And, uh, you're no- you're not into PC gaming at all or anything, are you? 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm not into PC gaming. 

'''Larry:''' I know, so what do you think of the announcement that s- uh, that XBox Live might be free soon as well, that they're... the only thing you can do is uh, they put adverts on the [unintelligible] 

'''Chris:''' ''(talking over)'' Oh, really? Oh, really, they're gonna make that free? 

'''Larry:''' Well that- they say that, the trade-off's that you'll have to watch some adverts on the main screen, that's it. I mean, would you, would you get an XBox, would you get on on XBox Live if it was free, but you had to watch a couple adverts? 

'''Chris:''' Yeah, probably. 

'''Larry:''' And you can actually finally play Halo as well then, sorta get into that. What do you play online at the moment, apart from life? PlayStation home, I mean.

'''Chris:''' Mmm... yeah, yeah probably.

'''Larry:''' Okay. Um. No, I mean what are you into at the moment in online gaming, I mean what sort of games do you play?

'''Chris:''' Um, like online, uh, I like playing Little Big Planet online, uh, among other game titles, I can't remember the names of them. I can't remember the names at the moment.

'''Larry:''' Ok.

'''Chris:''' That's that would be uh, that's a lot for me to think about though, yeah.

'''Larry:''' Ok uh, did you buy Ghostbusters as well?

'''Chris:''' Uh no I didn't get that yet, but yeah but I like what I've seen so far, if they release a demo then I would download that...

'''Larry:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' If I don't buy the game first...

'''Larry:''' So what was the last game you bought?

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, last game I bought... which one was that [coughs a bit] yeah I bought the new Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen video game, that was pretty good.

'''Larry:''' That's good.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I like and I've seen and I saw the movie last Wednesday and I thought it was awesome. I don't
care what the critics- how the critics put it down... I thought it was a very fun movie and it did have a good story to it and I enjoyed the story.

'''Larry:''' That's good. Yes there's enough-

'''Chris:''' I mean you know, critics will be critics... I mean like you know some of 'em get paid to praise it and some of 'em get paid to haze it, and you know I just think like you know in general I don't care for those who haze it. I mean, I mean like you know, Transformers has been uh ve-, has been uh very good and they have their own history, especially in generation one, you know in generation one they had some humor, and uh, whatnot, in uh, in the characters and in the story, so I'm thinking so I'm feeling like uh the uh movie is very much following that theme and I think I think Michael Bay is doing a good job with that.

'''Larry:''' So yes, Optimus Prime did die in the second one then?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he died but yeah [clears throat] but they brought him back to life shortly enough with the Matrix of Leadership.

'''Larry:''' Yeah, that's good because you don't want any kids to lock themselves in their rooms for several days, and all that...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, especially like you know in the generation one, they brought him back to life episodes later in the two part episode.

'''Larry:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' [Fake sounding cough] Excuse me. I got a frog in my throat! He's using my tonsils for a lily pad!

'''Larry:''' Oh dear! So yes...

'''Chris:''' It's a little joke I picked up from Red Skelton.

'''Larry:''' He is indeed a master of comedy!

'''Chris:''' Yep! Very funny man.

'''Larry:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' And a good human being as well.

'''Larry:''' Oh, that's good.

{{Transcription}}

==Excerpts==
===Preview (Cumming Soon...)===

<center>{{#ev:youtube|-wLuussu4iQ}}</center>

{{quote|Yep. Hello.}}

====Transcript====

'''Larry:''' Hello, and welcome to my very first interview with various people… from the Internet! And with me tonight, we have [[Christian Weston Chandler]]… uh, best known on the Internet for-- creator of [[Sonichu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]!

'''Larry:''' Hello there, Christian.

'''Chris:''' Yep. Hello.

'''Larry:''' So… yes. Good.

===Chris-chan Discusses... [[BILLY MAYS]]===

<center>{{#ev:youtube|ly4HcwZioJk}}</center>

{{quote|I'm still the mayor of Cwcville. There is no elections.}}

====Transcript====
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|right|"I'm damn straight!"]]
'''Chris:''' (fading in)...you know, I read in de uh- read in the announcement video about [[BILLY MAYS|BILLY's MAYS]]- about uh, well I quoted Wikipedia about BILLY's cause of death which was basically something like a heart attack.

'''Larry:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' And I was in [[Wikipedia:Charlotte County, Virginia|Red Oak]] the whole weekend.

'''Larry:''' You do know he was involved in a plane crash the day before as well?

'''Chris:'''...oh...yeah I s'pose that would put a lot of [[stress]] and to, uh, futher induce the heart attack, yeah.

'''Larry:''' So yeah so it could be- You wa- you wu- you weren't flying the plane, we'll get that straight, were you flying the plane?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I was not- yeah I was not flyin' da plane I was in Red Oak with my mother and my relatives.

'''Larry:''' Okay...So yes, so you've got no ulterior motives to-

'''Chris:''' I have no ulterior motives, oh and in fact- I forgot to say this in the video but uhh, I often confuse BILLY MAYS with with [[Wikipedia:Richard Karn|Richard Karn]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Home Improvement (TV series)|Home Improvement]], 'cause they both look and act- both looked, acted, and sounded alike.

'''Larry:''' You mean they're both fat and got a beard?

'''Chris:''' Uhh...no, I've been talm 'bout, you know, aside from the beard like you know the other facial features, and the voice...I just often confused uh BILLY with Richard Karn.

'''Larry:''' Yeah I often confuse people with fictional characters as well so...It's n- it's quite easy to do...so-

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Larry:''' So what do you think of the people calling for [[Adam Stackhouse]] to be the new mayor of [[CWCville]] as well?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, no no no no, I'm still the mayor of CWCville, there is no elections. I mean that's just a whole bunch of uh rumors on the internet that trolls are uh just talking amongst themselves...uhh, just, do not believe anything that comes from the trolls, it's all just a bunch of rumor- it's all just a bunch of false rumors and lies.

'''Larry:''' Uh, is uh, are you gonna be announcing BILLY MAYS's death in your comic as well or anything or...?

'''Chris:''' Uhh...Ohh yeah well let me just uh- I mean, I've already uploaded a video onto YouTube too, but let me just say that once again I never- HE never was the mayor of CWCville, when I made that statement on a YouTube I was blackmailed into doing dat by uhh, the uh quote unquote [[BlueSpike|"Julie's brother," that little 13 year old brat]] so I was lying out of my ass when I said that.

'''Larry:''' Ah. Yes. If I could a-

'''Chris:''' I- SO I BIN- So I've always been the mayor of CWCville and I still am, there's no question about it.

'''Larry:''' Ah. Now it was quite (Chris coughs) it was quite hard to tell if you were lying or not because we couldn't see if you were holding an [[Optimus Prime]] ... I saw ... so, uh, so if it was on video we would known you was lying.

'''Chris:''' (Unnecessarily forced cough) Uh, yeah, well I was lying out my ass when I said tha- when I said that I was a..."[[homosexual]]"...lyin' out my ass when I said that bun everybody knows I'm damn straight.

'''Larry:''' Yes of course, you are indeed a fine role model for us heterosexuals.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... thank you.

'''Larry:''' You're welcome.

===Chris-chan Discusses... Spax3 & Jason Griffith===

''Note: For anyone wondering who [http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Spax3 Spax3] (real name: Alexander/Edison Prins-Stairs) is, the best way to describe him is if [[ED]] was an Olympic sport, Spax would have the silver medal to Chris's gold.''

''Other note: Up until Larry informs him otherwise, Chris is under the impression that "Spax3" is a new character in an upcoming [[Sonic]] game. How he came to this conclusion is unknown. You are welcome to speculate, though.''

''Jason Griffith is Spax's equivalent of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].''
<center>{{#ev:youtube|8V4w-OSdslo}}</center>

====Transcript====

Larry: Yes... also, uhh.. ano- another thing a lot of people have been asking me to te- ask this. Uh, what do you think of the voice actors for Sonic the Hedgehog? [Pause] I mean there's- I must say there's- there's somebody out there on the Internet who's uh, very opposed to, uh, Jason Griffith. Uh, doing the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog. What do you think about that? You bothered with the voice?

 Chris: Mmm... Y- I pretty much like the- uh, original voice they've been going with this whole time. Uhh... changing it, uhh... would be uh, I don't know- I don't know if it- well it depends, I would have to compare the new voice and compare it to the old voice to - um, make an opinion. Although I will say this. In comparison to the animated series, y'know, where they had the- uh, [[Wikipedia:Jaleel White|kid who was Urkel]] originally voicing Sonic the Hedgehog... versus uh... what- who they have for [[Wikipedia:Sonic X|Sonic X]] and the video games... uhh.. I'd say- I'd say the newer voi- I'd say the newer guy does it much better.

Larry: Ah.. No. There's uh- There's uh, two guys doi- uh, there was the guy doing it in [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|''Sonic Adventure'']] and [[Wikipedia:Sonic Heroes|''Sonic Heroes'']], it was a guy called [[Wikipedia:Ryan Drummond|Ryan Drummond]]. And they- uh, they fired him because he couldn't make it to New York. They hired this guy called [[Wikipedia:Jason Griffith|Jason Griffith]], and they uh-

 Chris: [speaking over] Oh, that's too bad.

Larry: So yes. So yeah, basically, uh, everything you hear now is Jason Griffith, and I was just wondering if you thought- y'know- If you notice any difference?

 Chris: Hmmm. I didn't really notice a difference.

Larry: Oh that's good. So you- yeah. So... you reckon that someone made uh- started making... per- petitions to uh, have him fired and that, is a bit over the top?

 Chris: Hmm.

Larry: I mean, would y- would you say that's going a bit far or...

 Chris: Uhhhmm... yeah, probably. Sounds like it was going a bit far, yeah.

Larry: Oh that's good. So yes. So th- It's a- It's a guy called, uh, Spax3. Have you ever heard of him?

 Chris: Uhhnn... I'm sorry... uhh... Dax3?

Larry: SPAX! [Spells it out] S-P-A-X-3 ...

 Chris: Oh! Spax... uhh... no, I've never heard of that one.

Larry: Ah. Yes, it's a guy, yes. He uhm, he uh... he actually has fantasies about [[Wikipedia:Cream the Rabbit|Cream the Rabbit]] as well, don't know if you know about that.

 Chris: Ohhh...[pause]...oh... huh.[another pause] Uhm, is this- is this like a villain character, this Spax?

Larry: [Speaking over] No! No, no! He's a- He's a real person. He's a real person. Uh, he- uh, he- uh, doesn't like people saying that. That, he- uh... likes... rabbits. He gets very upset about it. Yeah, he says he has uhh... y'know, there's a big thing on- loads of trolls on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] who want to keep saying that he likes having sex with a rabbit.

 Chris: Huh...

Larry: He wants to have sex with a six-year old rabbit. So. So, do you- do you find that disgusting at all?

 Chris: Mmm... Well, that's his decision but I personally [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|do not promote bestiality]], as a matter of fact, I'm against it, [[Religion|and the bible is against it]], so uh... I- Y'know uhh... he has his opinions, and he has his rights to his own opinions but personally, I'm against it.

Larry: Even if they're half-human?

 Chris: [Pause] Uh... even if...?

Larry: I mean, 'cause they're like, Sonic the Hedgehog, he's- he's sort of half-human, he's not like a proper hedgehog, he's like half-human. He's got two legs and stuff, so.. does that SORT OF count?

 Chris: Uhhmm... uhhh... I don't there is, uhh... any hu- any half-human there... uhh...

 Chris: Yeah, I'd still say he's uh... ALL-ANIMAL. I'd still say they're all-animals. They just been given-uh... human form... it's not necessarily making them "half-human".

Larry: No. So, so- uhhh... So you wouldn't say there's any human in [[Sonichu]] or anything, either then? When he's, uh, completely a [[Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Or there's no, other way 'round it... even though he stands on two legs?

 Chris: [Pause]... yeah.

===Chris-chan Discusses... E3 (2009) Little Big Planet===

''* Note E3 (Electronics Entertainment Expo) is a large trade fair for the video games industry held in LA every year around the end of May/June showcasing the following year's releases.''

<center>{{#ev:youtube|IxOI63oNDzM}}</center>

====Transcript====

Larry: Right, so, uh, we're gonna be talking about E3 today, so, uh, what about- Start again from the overall thing, what's your overall opinion of the uh, video games on there this year. What do you think of them?

 Chris: Oh yeah, I like the games, they're very good. I personally interested in the uh, y'know, [[God of War]] 3 and uh, the PSP version of [[Little_Big_Planet|Little Big Planet]].

Larry: Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. And what do you- What do you think of the PSP Go, is that something you might be buying, or...

 Chris: Yeah, I might buys that for myself, but I would be [[Chris_and_Money|keeping my PSP 2000]] as well.

Larry: Oh, yeah, so-

 Chris: Cause, y'know, I have a bunch of [[Wikipedia:Universal Media Disc|UMD]] games...

Larry: No, you don't wanna get rid of that just yet.

 Chris: Yeah.

Larry: You're not being tempted to modify it or anything, so you could play copied games on it, from the hard dr- the Memory Card?

 Chris: Yeah.

Larry: Oh, That's good.

 Chris: Yeah, let me talk about Little Big Planet PSP for a bit

Larry: Alright.

 Chris: Yeah, ak- as you know, uh, yeah, some features I'd like to see, for the [[PSP]] version. I'd like to have it, uh, where I can sync up with the [[Dirty_Crapped_Briefs|pee-]] with the original [[PS3|PS3]] version, and, uh, copy the, uh, stickers and costumes and objects, that, uh, originated from the PS3 version, as well as the downloadable content...

Larry: Mm.

 Chris: Cause I'm sure a [[Trolls|lot of us]] would love to be able to play the uh, play in the spaceman suit that we, uh, got, uh, at the, uh, release of Little Big Planet, or even as Kratos or [[Gay|Nariko]]. ''(At this point, Larry tries to get a word in edgewise and fails)'' And uh, an-a-nd also another thing question, I mean uh, whatever happened to the uh, Real Media Molecule... Ibuh the ''Rare'' Mol- Media Molecule shirt that they talked about at the beginning? It never came out! 

Larry: Oh. Have you tried contertactiong them about it? Or anything? Or...

 Chris: ''(licks lips)'' Yeah, I tried tal- I tried contacting them about that, uh, haven't got a response yet.

Larry: You'd think they'd- You'd think they'd contact you, I mean, they did favorite one of your videos once didn't they, I mean, you are one of their stars, after all.

 Chris: Okay yeah.

''(cuts)''

 Chris: It's just, y'know, I think, uh, couple of, I think uh, I'd like to address a couple more ''Little Big Planet'' issues.

Larry: Okay.

 Chris: Yeah, let's see, we talked about linki- linking up with- between the PSP and PS3 versions... With the copying the costumes and the stickers and all that... Mmmm... See, it's like... [[Butt_garments|Expandable]] memory usage, for like, y'know, y'know, people are just gonna [[Autism|continue collecting the objects]] from the custom levels And uh, creating their own levels, but it's like, y'know, you keep on go- you keep on creating and collecting and like, you g- it's not- it's- you collect too much, and then uh, you won't be able to save your profile. Uh, on your, on your, on your hard drive. I'd like to see, like, y'know, like expandable memory, like, y'know uh, it, like, it grows as you collect, the memory?

Larry: Yeah.

 Chris: Yeah, so, yeah, I'd like to see that. And, uh, also, another thing I'd like to see - a soundtrack to uh, music on Little Big Planet, cause it's good music.

Larry: I think it's all licensed and it'd be pretty hard to-

 Chris: ''(cuts in)'' PRETTY GOOD MUSIC I'D LIKE TO, UH, S-

Larry: Yeah, a lot of it is licensed, that might be a bit hard.

 Chris: Yeah, I liked it. Yeah, especially uh, also the uh... Heh. I mean, like, y'know, I guess, y'know, people probably pirate the uh, one song that put the game in the question that delayed it's release by a week or two. Remember that?

Larry: Oh. Yeah, it actually got released in Britain with that... My copy had it on.

 Chris: ...Heh.

Larry: It's actually on the disc- It's actually, the song is actually on the disc, but they released a patch to remove it.

 Chris: Yeah. I've heard about that, yeah.

Larry: So if you got rid of that patch... If you got rid of that patch you could actually listen to it.

 Chris: Yeah, yeah I know, I've heard- I've heard about that, but... Still, I mean, like, y'know, game soundtrack would be good. Yeah, even, like, y'know, if they released it in the Playstation Store, like they did with soundtrack to, uh, Pixeljunk Monsters.

Larry: Yeah.

 Chris: And then put that up for sale, yeah, I would, uh, definitely pay, like, ten-twelve bucks to, uh, download those tracks.

Larry: That much, eh? So yeah. So what would you...

 Chris: Yeah.

Larry: What would you like to have included into Little Big Planet in future. I mean, what sort of, uh, characters and designs and stuff?

 Chris: Yeah, I- I mean, like, y'know, I liked what they're doing about the uh- What they talked about at E3, uh, [[Chris_and_sex#Bestiality|doing Disney characters]]? But I'd like to see... [[Transformers|Transformers]]. Like, y'know, Me- like for y'know, [[Optimus Prime]], [[Zapina|Bumblebee]], [[Julie|Starscream]] and [[Clyde_Cash|Megatron]] or even, like, [[Megan|Soundwave from Generation 1]], that'd be cool.

Larry: Yes. I AGREE.

 Chris: Make it even, like, y'know,two sets of costumes, y'know, one from Generation 1 and one for the movie.

Larry: Hm.

 Chris: And a whole buncha stickers!

Larry: Ah.

 Chris: That- That'd be awesome.

Larry: Yes, it would be then, yes.

===Chris-chan Discusses... Transformers===
<center>
{{#ev:youtube|_1v0aPxgh0Q}}
</center>

====Transcript====

'''Larry:''' What do you play online at the moment, apart from life? PlayStation home, I mean.

'''Chris:''' Mmm... yeah, yeah probably.

'''Larry:''' Okay. Um. No, I mean what are you into at the moment in online gaming, I mean what sort of games do you play?

'''Chris:''' Um, like online, uh, I like playing Little Big Planet online, uh, among other game titles, I can't remember the names of them. I can't remember the names at the moment.

'''Larry:''' Ok.

'''Chris:''' That's that would be uh, that's a lot for me to think about though, yeah.

'''Larry:''' Ok uh, did you buy Ghostbusters as well?

'''Chris:''' Uh no I didn't get that yet, but yeah but I like what I've seen so far, if they release a demo then I would download that...

'''Larry:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' If I don't buy the game first...

'''Larry:''' So what was the last game you bought?

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, last game I bought... which one was that [coughs a bit] yeah I bought the new Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen video game, that was pretty good.

'''Larry:''' That's good.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I like and I've seen and I saw the movie last Wednesday and I thought it was awesome. I don't
care what the critics- how the critics put it down... I thought it was a very fun movie and it did have a good story to it and I enjoyed the story.

'''Larry:''' That's good. Yes there's enough-

'''Chris:''' I mean you know, critics will be critics... I mean like you know some of 'em get paid to praise it and some of 'em get paid to haze it, and you know I just think like you know in general I don't care for those who haze it. I mean, I mean like you know, Transformers has been uh ve-, has been uh very good and they have their own history, especially in generation one, you know in generation one they had some humor, and uh, whatnot, in uh, in the characters and in the story, so I'm thinking so I'm feeling like uh the uh movie is very much following that theme and I think I think Michael Bay is doing a good job with that.

'''Larry:''' So yes, Optimus Prime did die in the second one then?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he died but yeah [clears throat] but they brought him back to life shortly enough with the Matrix of Leadership.

'''Larry:''' Yeah, that's good because you don't want any kids to lock themselves in their rooms for several days, and all that...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, especially like you know in the generation one, they brought him back to life episodes later in the two part episode.

'''Larry:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' [Fake sounding cough] excuse me. I got a frog in my throat! He's using my tonsils for a lily pad!

'''Larry:''' Oh dear! So yes...

'''Chris:''' It's a little joke I picked up from Red Skelton.

'''Larry:''' He is indeed a master of comedy!

'''Chris:''' Yep! Very funny man.

'''Larry:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' And a good human being as well.

'''Larry:''' Oh, that's good.

 '''[Video Break]'''

'''SAE:''' So yes. What's with that bruise on your head as well, how did you get that?

'''Chris:''' Bruise on my head?

'''Larry:''' Yeah, you got a cut on top of your head there, the other side, the other side, the other side, yeah.

'''Chris:''' Oh, it's just uh, it's just a bug bite.

'''Larry:''' Ah, ok. I thought we had a bit of a ruckus at the wedding or something.

'''Chris:''' No, no, did not have a ruckus at the wedding. It was a nice wedding.

'''Larry:''' Oh I see.

==References==
<references/>

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-03]]
[[Category: Interview videos| 2009-07-03]]

Stress

2012-08-31T16:09:25Z

Ormsondo:

[[Image:Stress.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in stressed mode.]]

{{quote|Stress hinders the emotions and physical abilities as swiftly as a bullet.|Chris, equating "stress" with [[Father Call|being shot]].<ref name="IRC"/>}}

'''Stress''' is the bane of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s existence.

When pressed on his "high-functioning" [[autism]], Chris eventually learned that outside of [[high school]], he can't blame his shortcomings on autism. He discovered that "stress" works just as well. However, it's assumed that Chris could be confusing "stress" with [[Wikipedia:Depression (mood)|depression]] or anxiety, refusing to admit that he is in fact, unhappy with his current situation, as well as the fact that Chris has never experienced actual stress in his life apart from his consistent paranoia over getting [[troll]]ed. He is, however, prescribed medicine for this "stress", which might suggest he has constant depression.

When under the effects of "stress", Chris typically posted videos without his [[glasses]] and talked in a more meek variation of his usual monotone speaking voice. It is during these periods of feeling "stressed" that Chris will opt to remove himself from the [[Internet]] for about a week or so, and then come back feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and given a new resolve to finish the [[Love Quest]]. This is most likely due to his autistic regenerative abilities that make sure that [[Heart level|his heart]] never goes below 0% and into the negatives.

==Stress fact==
===Things that give Chris stress===
* Bullies.<ref name="IRC" />
* [[Trolls]]
* People at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>
* [[Pickles]]
* The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Niggos]]
* [[Wendy's|Getting a job]]
* Anything requiring him to leave the house
* [[Father Call|Chores]]<ref name="IRC" />
* The existence of [[ED|webpages]] [[CWCki|outlining]] his many failures
* [[Boyfriend-free girl|Asking girls to go out with him]]
* [[Autistic|His "mental block" of autism]]
* [[Chris and his Ego|Talking to anyone about anything except himself]]
* Being told things he doesn't like to hear
* Having drawings of him finger-banging [[Megan]] confused with [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]
* [[Jimmy Hill|Copyright Issues]]
* [[Homo|Homosexuality]]
* His daily struggle against becoming [[homos]]exual
* [[Gay4Sonichu|His characters being accused of homosexuality]]
* [[Blanca|Finding out his Internet girlfriend broke up with him because of the Pickle Man]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008]]</ref>
* [[PandaHalo|Finding out his Internet girlfriend died in a brushfire]]
* [[Sarah Jackson|Finding out his Internet girlfriend was killed by Optimus Prime in a tragic car accident]]
* [[Julie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is a thirteen-year-old boy]]
* [[Ivy|Finding out his Internet girlfriend doesn't exist]]
* [[Kacey|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is marrying someone else]]
* [[Jackie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend will not give him china if he doesn't act like a normal person]]
* People [[Chris and death|dying]]<ref name="IRC"/>
* Finding out that [[Emily|his date]] was a mole working for the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* Being famous<ref name="IRC20081231">[[IRC (31 December 2008)]]</ref>
* Being [[Asperchu|parodied]]
* [[Chris and his ego|Criticism (constructive or otherwise)]]
* Being [[friend zone]]d
* Having his identity [[CChanSonichuCWC|questioned]]
* [[Megan|His hormones]]<ref>[[Megan E-mails#Chris continues bothering her about ED|Megan E-mails]]</ref>
* Being [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from [[The GAMe PLACe]]
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|Trying to get unbanned from The GAMe PLACe]]
* Being [[Father Call|cal]][[28 October 2011|led]] a child
* Back when [[Bob]] was still alive, his willingness to call Chris out on his bullshit, and his rare hand-washing (but living a [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|Superfund]] site is perfectly ok)<ref name="IRC">[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref> <ref name="IRC20081231"/>
* Anything slightly inconvenient
* Anything that [[autism]] isn't an excuse for
* Anything that stress isn't an excuse for

===Things that relieve Chris's stress===
* [[Mass debating]]<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#I am perverted]]</ref>
* Having a [[sweetheart]] resetting his [[biological clock]]
* The prospect of having a "[[Hanky-panky|sex time]]"
* Playing [[vidya]]
* Hiring prostitutes<ref>[[April 2012]]</ref>

===Things that Chris does when stressed===
[[File:Schu11Placeholder.jpg|thumb|One of the more common symptoms of stress]]
* [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Shits himself]]
* Cries
* Becomes less/more productive than usual
* Rages about his "pitiful adult life" in [[YouTube]] videos
* Rages at his [[Mailbag|mailers]]
* Sends [[death threats]]
* Abuses his [[PSEye|cameras]]
* Crashes Into Slumber <ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Chan_Update_21_October_2008</ref>
* Becomes increasingly homophobic<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly racist<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref><ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>
* [[Stress sigh|Sighs excessively]]
* Suffers from [[Sports bra|memory loss]]
* Draws hideous hardcore pornography of his friends and fursonas<ref>[[Mailbag 42#It's called an art style|Mailbag #42]]</ref>
* [[Alcohol|Drinks]]
* [[6 June 2010|Attempts]] [[28 October 2011|vehicular homicide]]

==References==
<references />
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Don't Mess With Me

2012-08-31T12:27:31Z

Ormsondo:

'''Don't Mess With Me''' (video name: '''Don't Mess With Me.MP4''') is another video [[Chris]] made for trolls on 10 [[March 2010]]. Heightening the rhetoric against those who go against him from his [[A message to the Trolls|previous video]] that day, he begins playacting what [[Chris and Reality|he thinks]] would happen if he actually met a [[troll]].

Chris goes beyond [[Sign Destruction Video|tearing up a paper sign]] or [[Chris Loses It|beating his hammy fists against a cardboard box]] to indicate his [[Chris and anger|anger]] towards a [[Trolls|person]] and actually plays out a scene in which he pulls out a [[pocket knife]] and simulates the murder of an imaginary [[Clyde Cash]], who probably had nothing to do with the loss of his latest [[The Wallflower|sweetheart]] anyway. It's also worth noticing that Chris still seems to believe the ridiculous cover story about [[PandaHalo]] being real and getting [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|raped]] by Clyde. When Chris pulls out his knife, it takes him about a total of nine seconds to get it out. It doesn't take a knife expert to equip it in less than three seconds, showing that even if he tried to use the knife in a fight, he would have been beaten to the ground before getting a chance to take it out, let alone use it. Of note is the point in which Chris uses "bigoted" as an insult when impersonating Clyde, implying [[Naive|he doesn't understand its descriptive nature]].

Like in the previous video, his [[medallion]] and [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]] are curiously absent.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Don't Mess With Me.MP4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MtFrr_TDd98}}
| stardate = 10 [[March 2010]]
| subject = {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{JokerShirt|text}}
| previous = [[A message to the Trolls]]
| next = [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]
}}
[[Image:Chrisslitsthroat.jpg|SHHHHHHH!|thumb]]
[[Image:Thats not a knoife..jpg|thumb|What would have inevitably happened if Chris pulled a knife on Clyde.]]
{{quote|This is for Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, you bastard.}}

=== Transcript ===

You think I'm weak? You think I'm not tough? ''[Holds up fist]'' This is what happens when I am intercept- this is what will happen when I am intercepted by a troll.

''[Stands to the right, imitating [[Wikipedia:Fred Mertz|Fred Mertz]]]'' Why, hello Christian.

''[Returns to center, finger to his forehead]'' Uh, hello...

''[To the right, crosses arms]'' What's the matter? You don't know me?

''[Center, acts confused]'' No, should I...?

''[To the right, brandishes the [[Claw]]]'' It's me, Clyde CASH.

''[Center]'' Oh. ''[Crosses arms]'' What the Hell do you want, you son of a bitch?

''[Right]'' ''OH'', I just came by to tell you how much of a [[Chris and Anger|son of a bitch]], [[monthly tugboat|lazy ass]], [[Chris and race|bigoted]], [[Chris and English|fort treacherous]] rat you are.

''[Center. Looks angry]'' Hmmmmm...

''[Right]'' Oh, and how about that time I raped your sweet Australian panda bear?

''[Center]'' YOU SON OF A BITCH!

''[Chris jumps at "Clyde Cash", starts punching the air in a girly manner. Punches himself twice, gets strangled, knees him, starts grappling with him. There's a jump cut as he continues to grapple. He punches, then starts stomping the ground. He is already visibly sweating.]''

''[Reaches down and pulls up "Clyde"]'' Come on. Get up, you son of a bitch!

''[Puts "Clyde" in an invisible choke hold and takes an unreasonably long time to pull out a knife.]''

This... This is for Sarah Cassandra McKenzie you bastard.

''[Makes motions of slitting "Clyde's" throat]'' SHHHHHHH!

''[Holds throat and struggles]'' Ughhh! Waaaagg! Ehhhh! ''[Collapses, then stands back up, hands on hips. He picks up his knife and holds it up.]''

Watch your back, trolls.
{{clear}}
==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[CWC Fighter]] ALPHA 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sMT5Xb6IshE}}
| stardate = 14 [[March 2010]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/DrButler DrButler]
| subject = | type = VG Remix
| info = }}

==See also==
*[[Death threats]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A message to the Trolls]]|nextlink=[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]}}
{{Troll Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2010| 2010-03-10]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2010-03-10]]

Trolls

2012-07-12T20:08:49Z

Ormsondo:

{{quote|they are vicious, crazy, wickedly smart people.|[[Chris]] on trolls<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>}}
{{quote|What a world we live in, with such trolls in it.|[[Bubbles]], in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].}}[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Faceless Trolls.png|thumb|120px|The Furies]]
[[Image:Ff7troll.png|thumb|300px|Now for the [[Hex Box]].]]

'''Trolls''' (numbered about seven billion strong) are the various individuals of all races, colors, and creeds united under a common goal - to ruin the [[Internet]]'s most beloved and most hated [[autistic]] manchild, [[Christian Weston Chandler]].

Trolling schemes by these individuals have ranged from hacking CWC's websites to making him take [[Nudes|nude pics]] and more.

==Pre-ED==
It is notable that Chris was bullied IRL before his discovery by [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] and [[ED]]. It can be argued that the first known torment of Chris occurred when his life-long-friend-who-no-longer-speaks-to-him, [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|locked him under the house]] and tried to feed him a poisonous [[Wikipedia:Honeysuckle|Honeysuckle]] when they were children. The next notable bullying occurred during the infamous mini-date with [[Hanna]] in [[2005]] which smashed his [[heart level]] to 15%. Around the same time, he was also trolled by a girl he contacted through [[MySpace]] named [[MySpace messages#Lindsay|Lindsay Kaye]]. There was also possible trolling of Chris through the guestbook on his website from as early as [[2003]], when "a hot redhead" said that she would meet him outside of [[PVCC]] (either this was epic trolling, or Chris put it on the guestbook himself). And let's not forget about [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] hijinks.

But this was all child's play compared to what happened next....

== The Few, the Proud, the Elite ==

===Asperpedia Four===
Includes Alec Benson Leary (the creator of ''[[Asperchu]]''), [[Evan]] (the creator of ''Simonchu'', and therefore [[Simonla]]), Sean August Watley (the creator of ''Moon-Pals''), and Mao (the creator of the Asperpedia, which brought them all together).

[[Image:SirWilliamMaysOBE.jpg|left|80px|thumb|BILLY]]

=== [[BILLY MAYS]] ===
The individual who trolls as the loud-mouthed salesman of the same name, who types in ALL CAPS, and was declared the mayor of [[CWCville]] by Chris on 3 March 2009 while under pressure from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]]. It is widely suspected that Chris himself had something to do with his untimely [[Chris and death|death]].

=== [[Blanca Weiss]] ===
[[Image:Blanka.jpg|80px|thumb|Blanca's true identity.]]

"Blanca" was really a trio of trolls (RickyRicardo123, Ickeriss69, and Nurse Icky-chan) who tricked Chris into sending them nudes, and later his [[Medallions of Fail|Sonichu medallion]]. Ickeriss later uploaded a couple of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ofqcc7VOn1k videos] featuring the Sonichu medallion, including a video in which the medallion is destroyed.

Not to be confused with [[Trolls#Lordsillynipples|LordSillyNipples]], who used the Blanca identity to score the first nudes.

=== [[BlueSpike]] ===
BlueSpike (AKA "LeonSpike", aka "Julie", aka "Max") is a thirteen-year-old boy who pretended to be Chris's [[sweetheart]] "Julie". He later revealed himself as a troll in a now infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself|hour-long audio recording]] in which he berates Christian and makes him stick his Sonichu medallion in his ass.

[[Image:BryanBash.jpg|thumb|left|80px|Bryan Bash (right) with your sister (left).]]

=== Bryan Bash ===
Bryan Bash is a close friend of [[Clyde Cash]]. He is the one who [[Hooker incident|sent hookers over to Chris's house]], as well as the person who called during the infamous [[Bob Walks In|"Bob Walks In"]] audio file, and is responsible for leaking [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|an image]] of Chris having sex with the members of his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' band (including a [[niggo]]). Additionally, he leaked the [[Father Call]] and the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]] to [[/cwc/]] on 11 November, [[2009]], and he has also leaked conversations between [[Chris]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]].

=== [[Clyde Cash]] ===

[[image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|80px|right|Clyde Cash.The man.The legend.The guido]]

The nefarious [[Clyde Cash]] is the most infamous and legendary of bullies. A vile and reprehensible fellow whose very name strikes fear and revulsion into Chris's clogged heart and inspires admiration from the souls of bullies. He posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], raped Chris's beloved [[PandaHalo]], and performed many more amazing feats about which songs shall be written and the minstrels shall sing of in the ages immemorial. Unfortunately it will not come to pass since Clyde is serving a life sentence for stealing the identity of Lee Hotti.

=== [[Emily]] ===
A brave soul who went on a date with Chris. She was later saved by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Jew in the Pickle Suit]].

[[File:Ahuvia.png|thumb|left|80px|Jack Thaddeus]]

=== [[Jack Thaddeus]] ===
The possible successor (and gay lover) of Clyde Cash and is responsible for various [[PS3#PlayStation Network|PSN]]-related trollings and also for the [[CWCipedia]] ads.

[[File:Jimmuh hill.jpg|thumb|80px|Jimmy Hill]]

=== [[Jimmy Hill]] ===
Jimmy Hill (full name James William Thomas Hill, OBE) is the true original creator of Sonichu, the first openly gay cartoon character that became very popular in Europe back in 2009. He has since retired as a billionaire.

=== [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] ===
The original creator of the [[ED]] page.

=== [[Man in the Pickle Suit|The Jew in the Pickle Suit]] ===
An IRL pickleman who answers to Clyde Cash. He saved Emily from the clutches of Chris.

[[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|thumb|left|80px|The REAL Chris]]

=== [[Liquid Chris]] ===
A [[YouTube]] troll who is known for doing a spot-on impersonation of Chris-chan. Within his saga, Liquid Chris is referred to as the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Chris-chan and creator of the popular comic character Sonichu, and Solid is referred to as an angry troll named [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], who made outlandish claims that he was the real Chris.

=== Lordsillynipples ===
A troll from [[ED]] who was responsible for impersonating [[Blanca]] and being the first to obtain the now [[Pickles|infamous Chris-chan Noodz]] on 11 September 2008, along with [[Chris's DVD]]. She is also responsible for creating the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] and for feeding Chris the infamous guido picture of [[Clyde]].

=== [[Robert Simmons V]] ===
A YouTube troll who managed to gain Chris's trust by showing him support and mirroring his life. Along with [[Church audio|visiting Chris's church]] and meeting [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], he also had a hand in organizing the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|Emily date]].

=== [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] ===
Shigeru Miyamoto (Japanese: 宮本茂) is the creator of some of Nintendo's most legendary video game franchises such as Mario, Zelda, and Star Fox. In 2009, he took time out of his busy schedule to troll Chris by pretending to be interested in his [[sonichu|yellow sonic abortion]].

=== [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] ===

While there's no definitive proof of these two being trolls, they have been known to dispense advice for Chris from time to time, especially on the subject of relationships.<ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> Considering the [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|results derived from said advice]], one cannot help but wonder about their [[Laughs Under Lucricities|true motivations]].

[[image:Tito 300.gif|thumb|80px|Surfshack Tito]]

=== [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] ===

An enigmatic troll who managed to invoke Chris's wrath on [[Surfshack Tito|two]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|separate]] occasions by hacking his PSN and taking the blame for ruining Chris's slim chances with [[The Wallflower]]. Recently, he has been involved in the destruction of Chris's beloved [[PS3]].

[[image:TH.PNG|thumb|80px|left|Thorg]]

=== [[Thorg]] ===
A troll responsible for creating a [[20 December 2009|slanderous billboard]] in 2009 and exposing [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] in 2011. A major part of Chris's 2011 [[Calling Out|blackmail campaign]].

[[image:Vivian.jpg|thumb|80px|Vivian]]

===[[Vivian Gee]]===
The creator of the ''Sonichu'' [[audiobooks]] and various other Chris-related videos and cousin of Clyde Cash. A former white knight who turned troll after she realized Chris was a [[Vivian Gee E-mails|hopeless, thick-skulled moron]].
{{clear}}

==Devil Trolls==
[[Image:DevilTroll.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:ModNation TrollFemale.jpg|thumb|Featured in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.]]

Aside from the several notable figures above, the '''Devil Trolls''' are mysterious, evil creatures that appear in Chris's ''[[Sonichu]]'' comic series. These creatures are first mentioned in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and make their first full appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

Like many beings within Chris's comics, the Devil Trolls are inspired by his encounters in real life. Devil Trolls represent the various trolls that have given him such [[stress]] over his lifetime. This is shown when Chris encounters a set of them attacking a room containing his stuff from one of his earlier websites.

The Devil Trolls make their first mentioned appearance as some sort of grass protrusions taking away the fallen "[[IBAChandler]]" after Sonichu defeats him in ''Sonichu'' #9. They make their full appearance in ''Sonichu'' #10, as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] encounters them inside a room containing his pictures from his various websites. Seeing as Chris can't create anything without ripping off original designs, Devil Trolls resemble [[Wikipedia:Troll doll|those old Troll toys]], minus their gems, with long tails and demon-like wings. They also sport sharp teeth.
{{clear}}

== Motivations ==
[[File:Trollll.PNG|thumb|Drawing of a troll appearing in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].]]

===Chris's perspective===
Chris himself has a more simplistic view of what motivates his enemies. When a [[Mailbag]] correspondent asked him to explain why he's trolled, and why so many people seem to hate him, Chris had this ingenious response:

{{quote|"Tehy're just jealous that they did not think of [[Sonichu]] first, or that I am more [[Chris and art|Artistically Talented]] than they are."|[[Chris]], [[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]}}

This is consistent with the advice given many children who are IRL trolled in school: that bullies are merely jealous of you, and want to see you react unfavorably. Since Chris [[Count Graduon|never moved past]] [[Manchester High School|high school]] mentally, he still believes he is hated because [[Ego|he is so much better than everyone else.]]

From his own attempts to illustrate trolling, it's obvious that Chris has no concept of how it works. When he tried his hand at impersonation, he thought that we'd all be trolled if he pretended to be an epic troll, but then [[Jack|a troll]] saw through his lie and forced him to admit that he is, indeed, a fat idiot. Chris believes that trolling has two steps: pretend to be someone you're not and then "troll" someone by revealing who you really are. [[Silvana]], a character based on his perception of forum trolls who claim to be people they aren't, thinks it's hilarious to pretend to be [[Meg Griffin]], kiss Chris, and then transform once she's out of sight. As a result, Chris walks away happy, unaware that he just kissed a tranny, defeating the entire point of "trolling" him.

Recently, it seems that he's decided that the majority of his hated trolls are actually homosexuals, combining his two major hates into one massive force of nature. The earliest this is seen is [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag&oldid=3208|a message he wrote] in his Mailbag section, exploding in rage over an added [[Twitter]] and how they could talk about him behind his back. Even more, in his [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|CWCipedia article on The Wallflower]], Chris has also decided that the trolls are also [[niggos|black]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris also considers trolling a ''crime'', and has somehow dedicated himself to stop trolling. However, Chris's views on trolling are very very skewed, as he believes that ''all'' trolling is equal to what he had done to him. A [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|recent video]] actually has him tell people how to act on the Internet [[Chris and hypocrisy|mere moments after revealing his real name, address, and phone number]].

As the years passed, Chris's take on trolls has erupted into a massive flight of fancy. Because he has been refused admittance to [[The Game Place]], Chris has now proclaimed that the entire store is a massive front for Internet trolling, with [[Michael Snyder]] as the ringleader of it all. As well, he seems to have chosen the [[CWCki]] forums as a major gathering place for trolls.

===His parents' perspective===
The [[Matthew Noble call]] in August 2010 revealed some interesting insights into Bob and Barbara Chandler's interpretation of what has happened to their son over the years. Chris's parents are apparently convinced that the entire Chris-chan Trolldom grew out of a conspiracy by Michael Snyder, two alleged homosexuals who frequented The GAMe PLACe (possibly [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]]), and ''[[Megan Schroeder]]'', who worked to get Chris banned from the store and are involved with a general effort to harass and torment Chris. When speaking with Ivy, Bob described Megan with words like "cruel" and "German". Bob was convinced that it is all because they are persecuting Chris for being autistic, while in reality he was scaring away customers with his behavior and sexually harassing Megan.

It's useful to try to consider things from his parents' point of view. To begin with, there ''is'' a worldwide conspiracy, more or less, to pester the Chandlers, violate their privacy, drive their son to do ridiculous things, and otherwise fuck with them in myriad ways. Bob and Barbara are bombarded by prank phone calls all day, nude photos, God knows what else arrive in their mail, signs mysteriously appearing on their lawn, Chris having [[Kacey and Liquid Call|angry screaming matches]] with people they've never met on the telephone, Chris once drove off to Ohio to meet [[Julie|a woman who didn't exist]], and so on.

Being Chris's parents must be a fairly surreal experience at this point, and given that they belong to a much older generation, they can hardly be expected to develop the grasp of Internet social phenomena that they'd need to properly understand their situation. The GAMe PLACe, however small a piece of the bigger picture it may be, is the most significant real, physical element of Chris's adventures in trolldom that they've been exposed to. As ridiculous as their theory may seem, it's probably the best they can do as far as making sense of what has happened and continues to happen to them.

==Chris the Troll==

While the idea of everyone's favorite manchild becoming the one thing he hates seems kind of farfetched if not laughably ironic, it actually isn't too far off as one might think. Because of his horrendous misconceptions of what he thinks his trolls does, Chris believes that, if given a new target, Chris's trolls would gladly stop attacking him and go after that new target. In the past, Chris has tried to deflect his trolls towards people like [[Joshua Martinez]], [[Michael Snyder]] and even [[Mimms]]. However, Chris has been so entrenched with his trolls and viewers that the idea of going after someone else doesn't seem feasible anymore.

As well, Chris has even attempted to troll his own trolls. One of the first known attempts was the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video, claiming that he had pulled the most epic prank on the Internet, only to turn around the very next day and reveal that it was a lie. [[Sonichu 10]], as mentioned above, had his comic book self thinking he had kissed [[Meg Griffin]], not knowing that it was actually [[Silvana]]. As well, on 28 [[April 2012]], he attempted to convince his trolls that he had decided to return to the mall and resume his [[Love Quest]], armed with his [[Attraction Sign]]. Again, he revealed the next day that it was a lie and that he had gotten [[ban]]ned from the mall just before he decided to pull it.

Interestingly, Chris's perception of being a troll is less about trolling to get a rise out of someone and more of attempting to pull a prank. His "return" to the Love Quest is probably the biggest indicator of that. Chris let his trolls know through his [[Facebook]], then waited a day before shouting "SURPRISE!" As well, he also believed that if someone reads his message, he's going to assume that everyone has and that they are going to descend on the mall like a bad flash mob just to find Chris. Too bad most everyone, unlike Chris, has lives of their own. Chris also believes that trolls are some sort of an elaborate organization, likely induced by his child-like state of mind, cartoons, etc.

==See also==
* [[4-cent garbage.com]]
* [[CWCki]]
* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
* [[PVCC (Message Board)|PVCC]]
* [[Rollin' and Trollin']]
* [[White knight]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Trolls}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Christopher Paul Whitney reveal

2011-08-31T10:38:18Z

Ormsondo:

'''Christopher Paul Whitney reveal''' is a video uploaded by CWCvilleProductions on 30 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. In this video, Chris deflates the big fat balloon of [[Alec Benson Leary]] a day ahead of schedule.

Chris-chan reveals the real face behind Asperchu, then proceeds to spend the remainder of the video mocking Alec by [[Random Access Humor|beatboxing]], [[Chris and health#Nutrition|eating a cheap microwave pizza]], and [[Chris and Hypocrisy|calling Alec fat]] whilst assuring everyone he's [[Chris and reality|thin]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Christopher Paul Whitney reveal
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s8wuTuzw-84}}
| stardate = 30 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Other|Food}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Response to ADF]]
| next = [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Current]]
}}

===Transcript===

'Tis another fine day - for REVEALING - 'cuz I have not heard 'nything from ''[applies pedo-glasses]'' Alec Benson Leary, also known as Christopher, annnnnd the due date has been reached! It is time for total...rev-yellation! ''[Chris spins the camera to show Alec's profile on the TV]''

Alec Benson Leary. His real name is Christopher Paul [[Obesity|"Fat Man"]] Whit-neeyyy! From Antonio Tetsas- San Antonio, Texas. Age: 36. [[Chris_and_money#But_wait.2C_Chris_isn.27t_employed.21|Unemployed and on welfare!]] His interest include: hot tubbing, [[video games]], retirement, [[Hex Box|Xbox]], folk music, theft and frauuud, milk, comics, and dip. Aannnnd (operatic) ''eating onliiiiine!''

He's responsible for Asperchu, Asperpedia, and all mockings and slanders associated, and copyright infringement, upon my own characters of Sonichu and-and Asperchu somewhere else. He also has ties wit da Game Place, do-nay-shuns and and what not.

Yeah. He's that famous, hot-tubbin' fat man on youtube, makin' mud...and, guess what, eating online! And recently, he ate a whole block a cheese! ([[Homos|Gay]] voice) ''A whole block of cheeeeeeese!''

''[Chris mimes using turntables for a couple of seconds while beatboxing]'' Au-Au-Au-sie Dossie!! Au-Au-Au-sie Dossie!! Au-Au-Au-sie Dossie!! Aw, yeah! Au-sie Dossie! Au-Awh-Au-sie Dossie!! Augh, yeah!

And now for the salt on the wound! [[SpaghettiRoutine|I will be eating online! For the once-time, this time!]] To be enjoyed! Ha-haa! We have here a cheese-stuffed [[Chris_and_health#Nutrition|microwaveable pepperoni pizza!]] [[Recycling|And un can of ''tea!'']] Let the feast begin!

''[Chris devours the pizza, munching on it with his mouth open for a minute before holding up the remains to the camera, revealing his unsurprising table manners]'' Cheesy goodness, within the crust! ''[Chris eats the rest, cleans his hands with a paper towel and drinks the tea]'' Mmm, that was ''good!'' ''[Chris repeats the incomprehensible beatboxing segment]''

[[Obesity#Denial|One big difference! He's ''fat!'' Iiiiii'm thin]]!

And believe it or not, he's even fatter than [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]! Of which, he has met the deadline, with his apology video, and left the internet for good, so nothing else will be revealed about him! So live in peace, Master Tito! But, Christopher Paul, your big fat balloon has been deflated! ''[Chris mimes a balloon being popped]'' Stay tuned.

==Sauces==

<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Response to ADF]]|nextlink=[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Current]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-30 r]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Christopher Paul Whitney reveal

2011-08-31T10:35:31Z

Ormsondo:

'''Christopher Paul Whitney reveal''' is a video uploaded by CWCvilleProductions on 30 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. In this video, Chris deflates the big fat balloon of [[Alec Benson Leary]] a day ahead of schedule.

Chris-chan reveals the real face behind Asperchu, then proceeds to spend the remainder of the video mocking Alec by [[Random Access Humor|beatboxing]], [[Chris and health#Nutrition|eating a cheap microwave pizza]], and [[Chris and Hypocrisy|calling Alec fat]] whilst assuring everyone he's [[Chris and reality|thin]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Christopher Paul Whitney reveal
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s8wuTuzw-84}}
| stardate = 30 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Response to ADF]]
| next = [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Current]]
}}

===Transcript===

'Tis another fine day - for REVEALING - 'cuz I have not heard 'nything from ''[applies pedo-glasses]'' Alec Benson Leary, also known as Christopher, annnnnd the due date has been reached! It is time for total...rev-yellation! ''[Chris spins the camera to show Alec's profile on the TV]''

Alec Benson Leary. His real name is Christopher Paul [[Obesity|"Fat Man"]] Whit-neeyyy! From Antonio Tetsas- San Antonio, Texas. Age: 36. [[Chris_and_money#But_wait.2C_Chris_isn.27t_employed.21|Unemployed and on welfare!]] His interest include: hot tubbing, [[video games]], retirement, [[Hex Box|Xbox]], folk music, theft and frauuud, milk, comics, and dip. Aannnnd (operatic) ''eating onliiiiine!''

He's responsible for Asperchu, Asperpedia, and all mockings and slanders associated, and copyright infringement, upon my own characters of Sonichu and-and Asperchu somewhere else. He also has ties wit da Game Place, do-nay-shuns and and what not.

Yeah. He's that famous, hot-tubbin' fat man on youtube, makin' mud...and, guess what, eating online! And recently, he ate a whole block a cheese! ([[Homos|Gay]] voice) ''A whole block of cheeeeeeese!''

''[Chris mimes using turntables for a couple of seconds while beatboxing]'' Au-Au-Au-sie Dossie!! Au-Au-Au-sie Dossie!! Au-Au-Au-sie Dossie!! Aw, yeah! Au-sie Dossie! Au-Awh-Au-sie Dossie!! Augh, yeah!

And now for the salt on the wound! [[SpaghettiRoutine|I will be eating online! For the once-time, this time!]] To be enjoyed! Ha-haa! We have here a cheese-stuffed [[Chris_and_health#Nutrition|microwaveable pepperoni pizza!]] [[Recycling|And un can of ''tea!'']] Let the feast begin!

''[Chris devours the pizza, munching on it with his mouth open for a minute before holding up the remains to the camera, revealing his unsurprising table manners]'' Cheesy goodness, within the crust! ''[Chris eats the rest, cleans his hands with a paper towel and drinks the tea]'' Mmm, that was ''good!'' ''[Chris repeats the incomprehensible beatboxing segment]''

[[Obesity#Denial|One big difference! He's ''fat!'' Iiiiii'm thin]]!

And believe it or not, he's even fatter than [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]! Of which, he has met the deadline, with his apology video, and left the internet for good, so nothing else will be revealed about him! So live in peace, Master Tito! But, Christopher Paul, your big fat balloon has been deflated! ''[Chris mimes a balloon being popped]'' Stay tuned.

==Sauces==

<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Response to ADF]]|nextlink=[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Current]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-30 r]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Christopher Paul Whitney reveal

2011-08-31T10:31:31Z

Ormsondo:

'''Christopher Paul Whitney reveal''' is a video uploaded by CWCvilleProductions on 30 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. In this video, Chris deflates the big fat balloon of [[Alec Benson Leary]] a day ahead of schedule.

Chris-chan reveals the real face behind Asperchu, then proceeds to spend the remainder of the video mocking Alec by [[Random Access Humor|beatboxing]], [[Chris and health#Nutrition|eating a cheap microwave pizza]], and [[Chris and Hypocrisy|calling Alec fat]] whilst assuring everyone he's [[Chris and reality|thin]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Christopher Paul Whitney reveal
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s8wuTuzw-84}}
| stardate = 30 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Response to ADF]]
| next = [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Current]]
}}

===Transcript===

'Tis another fine day - for REVEALING - 'cuz I have not heard 'nything from ''[applies pedo-glasses]'' Alec Benson Leary, also known as Christopher, annnnnd the due date has been reached! It is time for total...rev-yellation! ''[Chris spins the camera to show Alec's profile on the TV]''

Alec Benson Leary. His real name is Christopher Paul [[Obesity|"Fat Man"]] Whit-neeyyy! From Antonio Tetsas- San Antonio, Texas. Age: 36. [[Chris_and_money#But_wait.2C_Chris_isn.27t_employed.21|Unemployed and on welfare!]] His interest include: hot tubbing, [[video games]], retirement, [[Hex Box|Xbox]], folk music, theft and frauuud, milk, comics, and dip. Aannnnd (operatic) ''eating onliiiiine!''

He's responsible for Asperchu, Asperpedia, and all mockings and slanders associated, and copyright infringement, upon my own characters of Sonichu and-and Asperchu somewhere else. He also has ties wit da Game Place, do-nay-shuns and and what not.

Yeah. He's that famous, hot-tubbin' fat man on youtube, makin' mud...and, guess what, eating online! And recently, he ate a whole block a cheese! ([[Homos|Gay]] voice) ''A whole block of cheeeeeeese!''

''[Chris mimes using turntables for a couple of seconds while beatboxing]'' Au-Au-Au-sie Dossie!! Au-Au-Au-sie Dossie!! Au-Au-Au-sie Dossie!! Aw, yeah! Au-sie Dossie! Au-Awh-Au-sie Dossie!! Augh, yeah!

And now for the salt on the wound! [[SpaghettiRoutine|I will be eating online! For the once-time, this time!]] To be enjoyed! Ha-haa! We have here a cheese-stuffed [[Chris_and_health#Nutrition|microwaveable pepperoni pizza!]] [[Recycling|And un can of ''tea!'']] Let the feast begin!

''[Chris devours the pizza, munching on it with his mouth open for a minute before holding up the remains to the camera, revealing his unsurprising table manners]'' Cheesy goodness, within the crust! ''[Chris eats the rest, cleans his hands with a paper towel and drinks the tea]'' Mmm, that was ''good!'' ''[Chris repeats the incomprehensible beatboxing segment]''

[[Obesity#Denial|One big difference! He's ''fat!'' Iiiiii'm thin]]!

And believe it or not, he's even fatter than [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]! Of which, he has met the deadline, with his apology video, and left the internet for good, so nothing else will be revealed about him! So live in peace, Master Tito! But, Christopher Paul, your big fat balloon has been deflated! ''[Chris mimes a balloon being popped]'' Stay tuned.

==Sauces==

<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Response to ADF]]|nextlink=[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Current]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-30 r]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Response to ADF

2011-08-30T14:24:25Z

Ormsondo:

'''Response to ADF''' is a video uploaded by CWCvilleProductions on 29 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. In this video, Chris responds to [[Jack Thaddeus|Ahuviya]] after he uploaded [http://adfki.wikinet.org/wiki/Why_Philadelphia_is_so_much_Greater_than_CWCville two] [http://adfki.wikinet.org/wiki/Advice_for_Chris-chan_from_Ahuviya_Harel videos] in response to Chris calling him out.

Chris provides yet another halfhearted explanation on why he doesn't like the [[homos|gays]], but has no problem with lesbians (read: they give him a boner) and gives his approval for gay marriage. He claims to have empathy and believes that he can't get a job because of all the "slanderous smut and shit" on him that shows up all over the internet, and can't move out because of his parents' age and physical disabilities. Chris also quotes "[[wikipedia:Free Bird|Free Bird]]" by [[wikipedia:Lynyrd Skynyrd|Lynyrd Skynyrd]] (or "Leonard Skynerd" as he puts it), which is also the only song from the band that appears in [[Guitar Hero]]. Chris wishes Ahuviya good luck with his sex change operation but warns him he will never be a part of "femdom" and calls him a "damn homo", negating everything he's just said about gay acceptance.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Response to ADF
| video = {{#ev:youtube|28R_txwJefI}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Homos|text}} {{Tragedy|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Victory Rockout]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Sky_Nerd.jpg|thumb|If I whined like a virgin, would you please have sex with me?]]
This is my video response to... Ahuviya, who has apparently taken upon himself to, uh... record his response without wearing his face, optionally or leaving it out. So I'm just going to respond directly with my, uh- a few of my own thoughts. First off, I uh- now... I am heterosexual, [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|I am straight]], and that's just the way I am! It's not a have-to situation, I've never seen it ev- rarely seen it that way, I have at one point, but guess what, I've seen the other viewpoints, and they did not treat de ne- did not fair to me as s- so much, they gross me- they mostly gross me out. Therefore... that is what I am, and I am happy to stay that way, and I want to continue to be [[Chris and English|heteroseshual]]. I am happy with myself there.

And I would admit that with other people, there are differences that I feel most uncomfortable about and around, such as... yes, gays... gay men anyway. ''[disgusted look; blows a raspberry]'' I like lesbians. [[Tobacky|Smokers]], definitely the smokers. Can anybody tell me why smoking isn't stupid? I don't think so. And just most other males in gender- in general, because I get along better with women anyway. That's not really my fault, that's just part of my dang brain function with the missing links in my... brain and whatever. But that does not define me as an uncaring and cold-hearted person! [[Chris and Remorse|I have empathy]]! I seek- I can see myself in other people's shoes and see how they would feel if I has- if I- with my responses into whatever situations.

And yet you may- while you may or may not have empathy as well, Ahuviya, [[Chris and hypocrisy|I feel you to still be a typical non-understanding pig]]! I would go- I would travel outside of the state if where- or wherever if I could but, because A: I have- I'm on [[Chris and money|low funds]], and I would get a job... but unfortunately, because of all the shit that's against me on the Internet... between the [[CWCki|hate-filled webpages]] that y'all [[trolls]] and cyberbullies have created against me, and the past videos that I was [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|blackmailed]] and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|deceived]] and just plain forced into creating, with such [[Sonichu 8|derogatory graphic smut]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|literal shit]] within them, it just makes it that much more difficult for me to be able to get a job. 'Cuz they do the background checks, look up [[Facebook]]s and look on [[YouTube]] and look everywhere! They don't just do [[Chris and the law|criminal records]] anymore, ask anybody!

And I would travel if I could, but my parents are both old. [[Bob|My father is ill]]. He's sickly. He has [[Chris and English|feet-bloatings]]. And he has ailments that doctors are unable to determine, and at this point he is certified as a forced shut-in! He cannot get out so much, 'cuz he feels so ill and sickly in his feet. And I ''do'' get out of my house, I go out here and there and everywhere, so don't tell me that I don't get out! "I'm free as a bird and this bird... peep- and this bird you cannot change!" Yes, I learned from Leonard Skynerd, and I like that song.

And listen- and I want you to listen here. I'm all for equality, but there is a limit! ''[Chris hits the camera]'' I do not want to be forced or intimidated into or bullied into lifestyles that I just ''not am of'', or feel comfortable around! And this was a country where... people would not feel forced to do anything... then, whatever! And yes, marriage should be between two happy people, regardless of, uh, gender or whatever. But I'm still gonna feel most uncomfortable around homosexual dudes, regardless! And just most other males in general, hell, I probably won't even have a bachelor party 'cuz I don't know so many [[JERKS|males]], I'd probably be having a bachelor party mostly constituted with those within my congregation who I'm only acquainted with, like, one or two of. Hell, I would even appreciate having a bachelor party where I had all my [[gal-pals]] come and hold it for me! I'd rather have a bachelor party with... where it was... shoot, I'm trying the think of the word, um... well anyway, with m- anyway, with mostly women, 'cuz I feel more comfortable ar- around women. Platonic, that's the word I would use, the party would be platonic.

And likewise, if my bride had mostly male friends, I'd let her hang out with them platonically as well for her bride party. And you know what, I don't care whether I get a bachelor party or not, around the time I do get married. Because that's just- that's just me. And I cannot be changed. So I would- so I would say, good luck being a fake woman because you'll never be able to achieve true femdom! And you'll always be a dang homosexual male, 'cuz you're born that way, you gonna to stay that way pretty much even if you're gonna- if you're gonna have your [[pickle|dick]] either chopped off or tucked in! People are still gonna look at you so ill. In the majority of this country.

Anyway, that's my response for now.

Damn homo.

==Sauces==

<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Victory Rockout]]|nextlink=[[Response to ADF|Current]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-29 r]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]