CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:Paperback

2010-07-18T04:19:34Z

Paperback:

== Oh look a headline ==

Paperback has been lurking the CWCki for a long time and has followed the adventures of our favorite autistic manchild for even longer. She originally felt sorry for Chris, and nearly went the white knight route until [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|something]] changed her mind.

Outside of the CWCki, she's a college student majoring in English. However, thanks to her horrible fascination with sick, twisted minds like Chris's, she may end up as an English/Psychology double major.

I'm really here to do the little things, like grammar and spelling edits - mostly helping out however I can!

I'm new to working on a wiki, so if I do something stupid, please let me know.

== Stuff I should be doing ==

=== Transcriptions ===

*Going through and changing "ok" to "okay", "alright" to "all right", etc.
**Also making sure they fit transcription style. Then do this ALL OVER THE CWCKI (at least in the places that need it).

=== Other things ===
*Uh, may I please have a sandbox? I'd like to write some Chris-related fanfiction but don't want to clog up this page or post it to /cxc/ yet. Or should I just keep that somewhere else for now? Hmm.

== Userboxes and...well, just userboxes ==

{{Americunt}}
{{Straight|female}}
{{BoyfriendFreeGirl}}
{{GrammarNazi}}
{{Observer}}
{{Kitty}}
{{VivianGee}}

CWCki talk:Help

2010-07-17T23:32:19Z

Paperback: /* Spelling consistencies */

== Spelling consistencies ==

I'm not sure where else to ask this, but I'm a bit curious as to what the "correct" spelling of okay/OK is on the CWCki. In a lot of the transcriptions it's used both ways. I'm sure it can be used both ways, but is there a preferred spelling to use for consistency? How about for All right/Alright too, while I'm asking? --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 22:26, 17 July 2010 (UTC)
*Don't be a lazy shit. It's "okay" and "all right". [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 22:53, 17 July 2010 (UTC)
**You got it. I may go through the transcripts and change them. Also I just realized I didn't mean to post this on the talk page. Derp. --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 23:32, 17 July 2010 (UTC)

CWCki talk:Help

2010-07-17T22:26:04Z

Paperback: Created page with '== Spelling consistencies == I'm not sure where else to ask this, but I'm a bit curious as to what the "correct" spelling of okay/OK is on the CWCki. In a lot of the transcripti…'

Mumble 3.5

2010-07-17T22:09:37Z

Paperback: Made consistent with the transcription style

A continuation of the third [[Mumble]] chat involving [[Chris]].

Length: '''4:52'''

==Summary==
This chat takes place between takes 1 and 2 of [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009]]. [[Clyde]] is unimpressed by the first video, while [[Chris]] tries (and [[fail|fails]]) to explain what a [[gaybian]] is. Chris owns up to the fact that his half-assed first attempt is an "inferior product." As usual, Chris is too inconsiderate to turn down his radio.

==Transcript==

'''Chris''': [''[[sigh]]''] Hello, Clyde. So, you saw the video?

'''Clyde''': What video?

'''Chris''': The one I uploaded.

'''Clyde''': Oh. I should probably watch that.

'''Chris''': You probably... oh, yeah, there ya go, [[Julie]].

'''Clyde''': Chris, I gotta perform rites. I gotta perform rites.

[''Clyde begins chanting'']

'''Julie''': Chris, though, I think you should stay in here though, just to be sure... [''cut off by background noise'']

[''Chris leaves, a troll laughs, Chris returns'']

'''Chris''': Er, I put him on my lap, just how I was, like how I was on that principal's lap.

'''Clyde''': I said [[Optimus Prime]], you know... "Transformers roll out."

'''Chris''': [''sigh''] I... look, I just... I used- I- It was an action figure, I put it on my lap just like [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|I was on the lap of that principal]], awright? Now watch the video.

'''Clyde''': Whoa, man, I didn't know you wanted to do it with Optimus Prime. I mean...

'''Chris''': [''sigh'']

'''Clyde''': I didn't tell you to have sex with Optimus Prime, if that's what you're saying, so...

'''Chris''': [''sigh'']

'''Clyde''': What is this... what is this gaybian stuff? That's not a word! It's not even a word!

'''Chris''': Mmm... well, it's like...

'''Julie''': Clyde, you're gonna leave me alone now, right?

'''Clyde''': No. Of course not.

'''Chris''': [''extreme sigh''].

'''Julie''': But that's what you said?

'''Clyde''': What's a gaybian?

'''Chris''': Yeah, you said you were gonna leave her alone... I said, uhh...

'''Clyde''': Ok, Chris. What is a gaybian? I have never heard this word in my life!

'''Chris''': [''exhales deeply''] It's like, it's like, uh, a [[Megagi|lesbian]] except, except, for, it's like [[homos|guy and guy]]. [''voice cracks''] But basically it means gay.

'''Clyde''': No, it means you're straight!

'''Chris''': Well, if you don't like it, I can redo the vid- I can redo it.

'''Clyde''': Go ahead. But, if you're going to do things like ''this'', come on, man! You don't know how to keep a promise, do you?

'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Well, I did. I said, "gaaaaaaay."

'''Clyde''': -bian, at the end. We all heard it. We're not deaf. Except, I'm half deaf, but that is not the point.

'''Chris''': Awright.

'''Clyde''': The point is a person can hear things, a person can see things... [''muffled by background noise'']

'''Chris''': Ok, I accept that. [[Sonichu_comic|I made an inferior product]]. I'll prove... I'll uh, improve it, if they'll, if you'll, if uh, what hel- if it will, if you will, if you'll give me a bit of, if you will... [''sigh''] If you'll leave Julie, if you'll leave Julie- if you'll leave her alone.

'''Clyde''': Man, you sure look centered. Alright, I'll leave her alone. But I'm gonna send her some chocolates, ok? Is that ok?

'''Chris''': Uh, Julie, is that ok with you if, uh, he sends you chocolates?

'''Julie''': Um... ok?

'''Clyde''': And I'll send you some flowers.

'''Julie''': Ok. Why?

'''Clyde''': Because I'm hitting on you. Come on, you are dense, woman.

'''Julie''': Yes, but why? Why would you hit on me?

'''Clyde''': Because you're good-looking. Man, you are a damn good-looking woman, you know that, right?

'''Chris''': [''sigh'']

'''Julie''': But, I, I like, I was...

''End of Transcript''

==Links==
[http://www.mediafire.com/?lnnnrnmowno Download]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

User talk:Lime

2010-07-10T04:18:35Z

Paperback:

==You're a jerkop now==
Cogs has entrusted in you the powers of being a [[Jerkop]], banning vandals from our region. You'll be able to rollback pages, move, ban, and delete pages. I trust that you use these powers for good, not evil, mostly to prevent vandals from vandalizing shit.

Godspeed to you. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:31, 25 September 2009 (CEST)

==Lurk moar==
No offense but most of your questions have been answered before.

''11) When and where did you get the inspiration for Sonichu?''

There was a CD project he wanted to do, but he couldn't use copyrighted characters. So he decided to combine two copyrighted characters into his own character - Sonichu. And since he put a "c" in a circle, it was his "so there." See the DVD slide show.

''15) Have you ever considered moving out of your parents' home and getting your own?''

No, because it'd be too expensive for him to live on his own.

''17) Do you realize that you'll never be able to profit off of Sonichu, as he is a copyright infringement? (I'm sure Nintendo and Sega wouldn't be too happy...)''

HE IS NOT INFRINGEMENT, HE IS PARODY THEREFORE LEGAL. [[Jay Z]] said so.

''19) If the dildos and anal beads you had were free, why didn't you sell them or give them away instead of keeping and using them?''

He was going to give them to his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart.

''22) After all the failed attempts of getting a "boy-friend free girl", do you think you'll ever get a girlfriend?''

Of course - God and Jesus spoke to Chris unto a dream that he shall have a true sweetheart and so he will get one eventually.

''23) Have you spoken to Megan lately?''

No, he hasn't.

''24) Why was there an XXX section on your website?''

[[Trolls|Fans]] requested it. Also to "protest the slander" from the [[ED]] page.

''27) Why do you want a daughter named Crystal?''

Because that was the name of the dream.

''28) Why did you upload your own pictures onto ED if you hate the website so much?''

To counter the negativity from the site and replace it with positive images of TRUE and HONEST women with God given vaginas, uteruses, and pairs of ovaries.

''30) What kind of music do you like?''
Most any kind, especially old music (Frank Sinatra and the like).

Frankly, some of this stuff should be elaborated on in CWCki as these are things that Chris has discussed before either directly or indirectly, as are your other questions. I think there should be an FAQ of sorts that's like a condensed guide.

Really though, since you're a n00b, join the [[PVCC]] forum, lurk in #sonichu, read all the comics, watch the DVD bits, read all the old chatlogs, etc. Yes, it's sad to spend that much time on a manchild but your questions will all be answered and you'll want to see how far the rabbit hole goes. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:23, 5 March 2009 (CET)

== Narrators ==

I'm not the new one, I was a minor one, lol. See the Examining Sonichu and Rosechu audiobook. [[User:Shiny Marshtomp|Shiny]] 02:40, 12 March 2009 (CET)
:It's alright! No worries. [[User:Shiny Marshtomp|Shiny]] 03:08, 12 March 2009 (CET)

== Yo ==

We should totally have our own Jerkop-award thing. --[[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 14:15, 26 September 2009 (CEST)
*Then make one, ya goofs :p. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:17, 26 September 2009 (CEST)

== Your Sig ==
I'm in the process of switching all non-animated .gifs over to .pngs to save space. It seems your sig uses Image:Madotsuki.gif
Please point your sig towards Image:Madotsuki.png so nothing gets broken in the cleanup process. :) --[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 06:39, 3 October 2009 (CEST)

== OTP ==

THE ONE TRUE PAIRING TO END ALL ONE TRUE PAIRINGS!
COGSDEV AND LIME!
That's all. --[[User:CrassCrab|The Great Wizard CrassCrab, Lord of the Seven Realm and Master of the Archane Black Arts of the Eleventh Trans-Dimensional Vortex]] 17:13, 4 December 2009 (CET)

== Contact me ASAP ==

This is URGENT Jerkop business. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:57, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

== Halo Shield Icons ==

As the uploader of these Award Templates, I can say you've easily earned the [[Template:Hero|Heroic]] Award. You've contributed a lot to the CWCki and you're a Jerkop to boot. : ) Still, whatever you feel like is good. --[[User:Alcoholic Legend|Alcoholic Legend]] 02:46, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

== User Template Categories ==

I propose that the categories for userbox templates should probably lose the "List of" prefix, to save valuable space at the foot of user pages and because the sheer fact that they are categories implies they are lists. idk - but I think it would improve the userbox experience. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 03:14, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
:Sure - I guess you can "move" the category pages? I forget whether that was ever properly implemented in to MediaWiki, I assume it was. I can start editing templates. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 03:25, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
:As a second thought, do we want to take this opportunity to separate awards from just standard userboxes - or are we happy with them all being filed as awards? --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 03:26, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
:I think that's all of the templates changed and categories remade. Just need the old categories deleted nao. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:07, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

== You are awesome ==

Your work in saving the Sonichu TV Tropes article has NOT gone unnoticed. You are good people. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 19:43, 11 June 2010 (UTC)
:Ronichu beat me to it.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 05:53, 12 June 2010 (UTC)

== I am sad ==

*sadface* --[[User:IBAgeneva|IBAgeneva]] 20:48, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
:*poutyface* --[[User:IBAgeneva|IBAgeneva]] 21:09, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== GJ ==

Thanks for blocking that niggomalema guy. He was really annoying me.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:29, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

Well, if this is where we're praising Lime, I just wanna say great job on the favorite troll userboxes! Now I can show the rest of the CWCki how much I admire Vivian Gee. --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 04:18, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

User:Paperback

2010-07-10T04:09:05Z

Paperback:

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-07-08T10:00:58Z

Paperback: /* Favorite Troll Userboxes? */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

'''Archive:''' [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1|1]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2|2]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3|3]]
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4|4]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 5|5]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 6|6]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 7|7]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 8|8]]

== Since I've been gone ==

I was in the hospital for a few days and apparently, shit came up. Looks like shit was settled though...or was it? Your thoughts, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:20, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Define "shit" Champ. Shit as in Chris's madness on flipnote, shit as in the Asperpedia hack, or shit as in Alex being a retard? In any case, nothing was settled. At all. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:50, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Mostly agree; Chris has been typical Chris on Flipnote and Asperpedia is still being fucking weird, but 16BitAlex is gone, and BabyNeko left as well in a flurry of drama, so that specific shit has settled for the moment. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 21:59, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Well, BabyNeko is gone. But Alex certainly is not. He said he was going, but like certain other manchildren before him, he is continueing to frequent that which he said he would leave forever, posting more bullshit about apples and his racist views on asian women or some shit like that. I have no clue what he's really saying. He used to make sense, and then his language just devolved into retarded babbling. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:31, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
**I removed my "retarded babbling". --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 00:07, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
***Your "DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING" tactic just makes you look worse, you know.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 01:59, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*Typical garden-variety madness, nothing serious. I wish you a speedy recovery. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:53, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Faggots did drama, Chris kept on being Chris. Hope whatever hospitalized you wasn't too serious and that you get well soon.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:39, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
beat said it best. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==Long time, no see==

I was reading an issue of Rolling Stone yesterday, and I found out that California rejected funding for an IRL homosexuality "cure". Wouldn't it be fun if we told Chris about this, just for his reaction? Guys? --[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]] 15:42, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

:Possibly. Actually, the way things are going now, he could start building an actual political platform that would include anti-badmouthing, homo vaccines, and dating education. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:37, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== 16bitfaggot B& BryanBash ==

I am a humble user, barely making edits and staying out of this petty drama. But this is far, far more of a crime than I can let go by unpunished. Ban this faggot.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 02:04, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

What the fuck happened? I'm a bit out of the loop. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:23, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

*16bitAlex is being lame. Unfortunately, it's the poisonous kind of lame that compels others to act lame in a display of how much they hate him. At least I think that's what's going on.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:27, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
**That's about right. I forget where it started, but you can see a lot of it on Delabonte's page. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:28, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
***My personal justification is that I needed a reason to act like a fag to somebody, and to put it bluntly, he's the perfect excuse. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:31, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
****What did your girlfriend break up with you, and now you're hiding your secret pain by lashing out on the internet? I realize he's being a moron and I'm honestly shocked he hasn't been banned yet, but you guys have managed to fill the entire recent changes page with your little bitch fight against him on multiple occasions. That shit is just sad.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:51, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*****Haven't had a girlfriend in months. Sorry about the recent changes thing, I guess it didn't occur to me that that was the case. I came here back in January primarily as a troll, and I hadn't done any trolling here yet. Call me immature, but it was doing what I came here to do, and it was satisfying. Seems like it's just about blown over now though, so I'll resume normal editing duties shortly. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:57, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
******Sorry about clogging the first page of recent changes on your website dedicated to documenting everything a 28 year old manbaby has ever done. Seriously, fucking relax. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:09, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*******I actually did want to stay out of the drama. I just posted a single comment on Delabonte's page telling Alex to abandon his account and just set up a new online identity. I just wanted to end this shit. Unfortunatly, he instead went on to cause more drama, and it pissed me off to the point I became an active participant. Well, i've learned my lesson now; Never try to white knight for anybody. If they are being trolled then they probably deserve it. I'm sorry for being a faggot everyone. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 10:36, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Times Square Billboard Images ==

Where on the cwcki can I view them?
[[User:BigDipper|BigDipper]] 19:20 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*They're here - http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/20_December_2009 [[User:Irenicus|Irenicus]] 11:13, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Ok... ==
You know what I hate more than anything else in the world? Gary Oak. Gary motherfucking Oak and the 500 motherfucking server error. Now, I know that the people in charge probably won't listen to this suggestion. I know it'd cause a lot of trouble to actually do it. I know that there is most likely some reason why we haven't already done it. But i'm not 100% certain, so i'm gonna throw this suggestion out there in the vain hope that someone sees it and either does it or at least explains why we can't;

Why don't we move CWCki to the Hsienko servers that Asperpedia is hosted on?

Because I NEVER have any of this shit when doing stuff there. Not once. Ever. At all.

Over there, internal server errors do not exist.

Just throwing it out there. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:40, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*Having just received the 500 error (while logging in, no less), I like this idea.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 23:20, 1 July 2010 (UTC)==
*And now the errors are getting worse. Are they trying to tell us something?-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:46, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
**I think today the website is just more stressed than usual. It's what motivated me to post. I was getting so fucking many on recent changes all the time. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:51, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*The 500 errors are becoming infuriatingly common, but I'm thinking there has to be a fix that doesn't involve moving the whole site.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:59, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Contact Info ==
I've got an idea that will probably elicit no reaction whatever from Chris but has to be worth a try. But he's always abandoning accounts and changing his email. Does anyone have his most up-to-date email address? Does anyone know if he still even checks it anymore? I know he said he was giving up internet, but he's still on Flipnote, so you never know. Thanks a million and Happy Canada Day! --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 19:34 1 July 2010 CEST

: chrischansonichu@aol.com is and always has been his email account. These days he barely checks it and doesn't reply to anything, so best of luck; I've been bombarding it on and off from various email accounts ever since Sydney got through, but not even a single bite. Emailing Chris at this point is like pissing into an ocean of piss. p.s if your idea is 'pretend to be Megan, pretend to be a girl interested in him, say you dug up patti,pretend you are someone impossible (such as Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)), then I can safely say it won't work. Good luck though. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:03, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==I MAD==

Okay, so the 'fan videos' is a cool and entertaining feature that can spice up a boring video page. Like all good ideas, however, something fucktarded has to come along. In this case, I'm talking about the utterly moronic practice of inserting videos that are either unrelated to the topic at hand, not actual Chris videos, or both. I'm not going to point any fingers namely because I've been gone forever and I'm not going to search through histories. Does a video with 'hurr durr i edited clips to make chris say he's gay' belong in the middle of the [[homos]] article? Does [[Sweetheart]] need some totally fucking irrelevant mashup at the top of the page?

At best, this is a misguided attempt at transplanting in humor. At worst, it's namefaggotry. I'm going to be weeding out this crap but it would be nice if certain people actively avoided this level of dumbfuckery. Put fan videos in a segment labeled fan videos, and maybe explain how the fuck it's relevant to the article.

/rage rage rage rage --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:Aren't we a little overzealous? Granted, some videos are useless, but '''we have a fan video template.''' Just get rid of the useless ones and fix the ones that stay. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:27, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:*Essentially, that's what I want, for people to use the template and make sure the video is appropriate. You just said it without all my impotent NERD RAAAAAAAGE. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:31, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I've seen this shit around too, didn't know it was an issue. I'll keep an eye out in case someone adds that sort of thing in from now on. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 04:40, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I see what you're getting at. I think there are quite a few pages where there's far too many fan videos. A secondary goal of the CWCki which hasn't been quite elaborated on formally is that it should serve to preserve trolling culture and our collective trolling heritage that surrounds Chris. Personally, I think a fan video should only be included in an article if 1) it is notable in itself (see Vivian G's "DYKES DYKES CHINA," for instance) or 2) it illustrates a point clearly (can't think of a good example at the moment). In any case, it should be done sparingly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:20, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Why I've banned 16BitAlex ==

When I was 4 or so, I had an NES when it was still pretty new and my babysitter loved playing it. One time, my mom took away the NES from me because my babysitter was so enamored with the NES, she would forget to, you know, watch me. It's something like that.

I really didn't follow shit he did closely because Chris is enough drama to follow. 16BitAlex seemed to be causing drama that was counter productive to the CWCki's goal of documenting the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler.

It looks like he himself tried to ban himself and so I took it upon myself to do the job right for him. Alex, if you're reading this, you are free to appeal this ban. Likewise, he is free to create a new account and start life anew on the CWCki, provided he will not delve too much into his personal life and stay focused on just editing the CWCki.

I am really sick of this drama, not so much from CWCki editors but people like Clyde, and I'm afraid the only feasible solution I have was to remove Alex and in a way that was also to protect him because God damn, he is such a damn ass pie.

Now let's get back to work, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:06, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I officially declare the first Church of Champthom open. Praise the Lord, for we have been saved! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:12, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm glad you took care of this. Really, I'm surprised why none of the other admins stepped in. I guess they just wanted to see the drama unfold. Hopefully this will ''finally'' die down. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 15:18, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Champ, you are hot. I want you. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:33, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Me too! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:42, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*This is a good thing. The best thing, even.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:48, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I want to suck your big dick Champthom and have you come all over my face. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:13, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Perhaps it's that I haven't slept since Thursday afternoon, but the NES analogy is going way over my head. Still, I'm glad to see it over, even if I was a contributor. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 05:38, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:The babysitter (CWCki editors) was playing the NES (messing with Alex) instead of doing her job and watching baby Champ. (obsessively chronicling the day to day life of an autistic manchild)--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 16:37, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Thank GodBearJesus that crap is over.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 06:09, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*To be honest I do think this 16BitAlex drama was creating confusion and chaos in the wiki. As much as I'd like to have trolled him, we do have to find a better place to do it. It was starting to get like an angry shouting match in broad daylight in the middle of a mall D: -- [[User:Da Nuke|Da_Nuke the Nucular Raeg Bomb]] 04:32, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Very apt. In any case, the point is that Alex himself didn't do anything wrong, per say, only that he was acting in a way that was disruptive as feeding trolls (which, as this wiki serves as a beautiful illustration, is something you just don't do) and I felt it was best for him and this wiki for him to be banned. Anyways, just wanted to clarify that it has nothing to do with me hating Alex or siding with people trolling him, just wanted to get this shit taken care of.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:44, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Whatever your motives, we still love you just as much for actually doing it. The dude really needed to go. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:11, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris may be eligible for fraud charges ==

Greetings all. A friend of mine who used to work as paralegal in social security pointed out that Chris may be eligible for fraud charges. I don't know the exact rules myself, but it seems if you're taking the social security fund and, you are not supposed to have 'substantial assets' (that is, in excess of $2000, sans car and house). Seeing Chris' PS3 and list of purchases, he is very likely to have gone through that limit. Unless he could provide evidence that he is disabled for work, he may face up to 10 years in jail for the fraud charge.

The SSA office in charge of Virginia should be 1470 Pantops Mountain Place, Charlottesville - (434) 295-1144 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (434) 295-1144 end_of_the_skype_highlighting (reopens on 6th of July I heard). I can't report this issue due to me not being a US citizen, so I'm just pointing a possibility here.
*For the love of GodJesus, how hard is it to sign your posts?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 04:23, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:*We've been over this. He has autism, and apparently that's good enough for the state of Virginia.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:28, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Also, he really is too stupid to work--he couldn't even take out the garbage at Wendy's without fucking it up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:46, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Ah, I'm sorry about that, this is my first time using this function of a wiki page--[[User:Xanandar|Xanandar]] 04:53, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

'''Short answer:''' either you didn't hear your friend correctly, or he's a moron. Chris will never be pulled in on fraud charges.

'''Long answer:''' Assets that would be countable include excess real property, the fair market value of vehicles other than your primary vehicle, balances in savings accounts, excess burial plots, and revocable trusts. Legally, Chris owns very little, his parents owning all the real property (the house and land) and the accounts. Generally, items like TVs and PS3s aren't counted in the count of substantial assets, and oh god the legal shitstorm from revoking SSDI benefits because of DLC would be terrifying. Finally, the defense would have a field day with excuses on why he couldn't have understood the restriction. You might be thinking of "substantial gainful activity" ("SGA"), but that would be work which Chris.....doesn't.

Oh, and '''Supplemental Security Income =/= Social Security Disability Insurance'''. I'm fairly certain Chris receives a check from the latter, so it's more application based than needs based.

-[[User:Jump|attorney at lol]]

Sadly, I think the only thing Chris risks is a weekly follow-up with a social worker. I don't think I will see a judge punishing an autistic manchild on his first fraud offence. I am ready to bet an old 5$ that he will receive no punitive damages at all. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:15, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

== Attention all jerkops ==

Any user who interferes with [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] is to be banned from the CWCki. This user has provided original information about Chris and Clyde has confirmed this to be a confirmed CWCSighting.

That young, 14 year old boy and his valorous usage of his Nintendo DS to attempt to capture Chris warrants special attention and no one is to interfere with him.

Questions may be directed to me on a one-on-one basis (contact info available on my user page).--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:26, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== changes i'd like to see ==

so, i'm thinking about remaking the community portal as an actual portal. that is, a place with links to discussion areas for different topics. one of these would be about speculation, which leads me onto my next change: no more speculation in articles, unless it is ''extremely'' related. some articles have way too fucking much armchair psychology, which really has no place in the main namespace. this is an encyclopaedia of facts, not a gigantic talk page, so please confine your guesswork to either article discussion pages(if it is important to improving the article, i.e. decoding/translating chris's bullshit) or the speculation place(once it's made). please discuss how the community portal should be revamped, such as what discussion pages to create. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== MIA Asperpedian ==

I wasn't sure where else to put this, but does anyone know where I can find whoever went by the name "Sans" on Asperpedia? I need to discuss something with him. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 04:34, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Is it possible to have this screen name deleted? ==

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, but I'd like my screen name deleted if that is possible. [[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 23:37, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Favorite Troll Userboxes? ==

Just a suggestion, we have Userboxes for the favorite Chandler cats, but none for one's favorite troll? I just thought it would be a good idea to put out like five for the biggest-names in CWC Trolling (Like Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike...Jimmy Hill?) [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 20:57, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
*I support this. I yearn for some way to show my infinite love of Liquid Chris. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:15, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
Ah, forgot about Liquid, but yeah, him too [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 23:32, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
:I feel Liquid would reign supreme. Still, it seems like we're missing a few; does Alec count? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 03:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::I think Alec would count. How about Robert Simmons V or The Man in the Pickle Suit? --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 10:00, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

== IBA fucking geneva ==

Is evading every five seconds and needs to be dealt with. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 03:36, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
: I have perma-banned the creep twice. Fells like a game of "Whack-A-Mole". [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:40, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Mighty fine work there, Griffintown.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:43, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I am glad to be helpful. Besides, what is the fun in a Wiki without the odd griefer to whack around? :) [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:27, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:I'd hate to be a fag and walk into this, but I was under the impression that we had his dox, so couldn't we just toss them out? If not there's software that lets us track IP and software even when the user is hiding behind Tor so we could just get his dox if we don't have it that way.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 04:03, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Oh god damn. The [[User:Pfaggot|name]] of his new account is harassment itself. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:28, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
*BTW his Juanbrujo account isn't banned yet. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

Amanda

2010-07-04T09:42:08Z

Paperback:

A [[manajerk]] who works in the [[Coffee Place|Burger King]] in [[Ruckersville]].

Talk:Coffee Place

2010-07-04T09:41:31Z

Paperback: /* Rewrite this shit completely */

== Do Not Delete; Pursue for the Drama. ==

My family and I were there one morning a couple of weeks ago; my camera was screwing up with me, so I ended up with the photo of the front counter. I haven't been back for a while (Damn parents won't drive me back there), and I'm only 14.

Robert was shouting at Amanda, and eventually Chrissy joined in with an uproar so loud, it would have awaken the dead. It was in response to Amanda harassing them that day. I asked around after Robert and Chris left, without my family taking notice of me.

I can get away with anything within my reach; I'm the middle child of a set of three in my family. Sadly, we were only passing through that week on our way back from a visit with my Grandma and Grandpa in South VA; we live up in Boston.

Being bullied as a Freshman last year in my High School was no fucking picnic either. And I really loath ANYONE who is even considered "Special". I'm Special enough on my own for being invisible yet able to attract attention remotely with a mere thought or do-nothing and having to put up with the aggresiveness in my fucking family; I am very much the Master Mind in the family. My father is damned retarded.

But enough about me, I hate Chris as much as the rest of you. Stopping the presses on his books and giving up his website; it still pisses me off. If I recall correctly, it was about 10:30 when the Father and Son Duo left, so best bet is about 10:00 AM to try and intercept. I want to see Chris, if not both of them, squirm in torture from our Trolling of him. I really want to see him blow his top off again. LULZ.

Oh, and the Windows at that place were Tinted, so the photography would be best from inside the place.

For the LULZ!!!!

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:16, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

== This is a confirmed CWCSighting ==
The first one. Now stop harassing this user Christ almighty. god damn you people overanalyzing shit. now if anyone touches this user I will BAN them. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:15, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*Thanks Clyde. I'm not the most active member on here, but goddamn some people get way too SERIOUS BUSINESS over some shit. This, even if it does have some non-CWC info in it, and even if it was a small sighting, is still useful, and furthermore interesting. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 05:58, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== This Amanda person seems interesting enough. ==
Chris should probably do something against her. Perhaps the LULZ that come out of both. Chris has nothing to lose because he has no job because he's a lazy piece of shit, but Amanda has her job. I wonder if Chris could get her fired lololol. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 03:43, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Haha yeah, that would be lulzworthy. I hope he does. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:54, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== Rewrite this shit completely ==

Seriously, what the fuck. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 08:59, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

*I can do a few corrections for both this and the Amanda page. However I'm not familiar with writing in wiki style, so I'll just do what I feel comfortable doing. --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 09:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

I did what I could. Also tried my hand rewriting some parts as best I could. Some parts are a bit confusing/in need of clarification. --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 09:41, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Coffee Place

2010-07-04T09:38:51Z

Paperback:

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|A view of the counter where behind which has its own Troublemakers.]]

===Coffee Anyone?===

[[Bob Chandler]] usually enjoys coffee and breakfast in this [[Obesity|fast-food]] joint most days of the week. Sadly, on some of these occasions, he and other [[Merried Seinor Comic|seinor]] citizens who have been enjoying their early bird specials for years are harassed by a few of the snooty employees.

One of these employees, Amanda, is one of the Part-Time [[Manajerks]] who gives her elders the coldest of shoulders. Even with the recent Twilight [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|sweepstakes]], one or two of these folks who have enjoyed the Medium Icees for a single dollar and nine cents during their limited-time promotion and received the [[Fapcup|cups]] with the game pieces on them, Amanda recently decided that "One Dollar is TOO LITTLE for a Piece of the Sweepstakes Action."

Amanda is also more kind and friendly to [[Niggos|black customers]]. [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|Uncle Ruckus]] would really kick the shit out of the bitch for not treating us white people with good kindness and respect. All of the seinors who loyally come in for their daily morning bread would just itch for the chance to smack her ass and crack her [[china]] in due respect to the harassment she has butthurt unto them.

===Amanda===

Not much else is known about Amanda at the moment, but the seinors have heard that she is a mother of two (probably get a daily butthurt from her every night). She is also assumed to be married. [[GodJesus]] have mercy on whoever has to put up with that woman.

===More Coffee Goodness===

[[Chris|Chrissy]] has reportedly been sighted there, but no photographs have been taken of him actually in the restaurant, aside from the one above.

Photographic evidence should be sent to cwcsightings(AT)hotmail.com! Also, feel free to show off to everyone around you at the time the fresh Gay Trucker Photographs are taken. Users will be greatly rewarded with [[china]] and/or [[pickle|pickles]]!

Talk:Coffee Place

2010-07-04T09:21:24Z

Paperback: /* Rewrite this shit completely */

User:Paperback

2010-07-03T07:17:58Z

Paperback:

User talk:Trombonista

2010-07-03T05:59:42Z

Paperback: /* The Welcome Message */

You can talk to me here, or at [http://la-trombonista.livejournal.com/ la_trombonista] on LJ.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]]

Thanks for the welcome, man. 8) - [[User:ABoredGameDev|ABoredGameDev]] 13:21, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

== Hey did I ever thank you for doing all that work in the IRC chats? ==

Because that was really awesome of you! Thanks a bunch!--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 22:35, 26 March 2010 (UTC)

== Oi, you ===

How come I never got a welcome pack? :( I'm disappointed --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 00:42, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
*You joined CWCki before I did.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:45, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
:* Oh, right. Ok, can I get a retrospective one? --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 00:46, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
::*Thanks Trombonista :) --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 01:18, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

== Chris' -> Chris's ==

Hey mate, I saw the changes you made to Chris and Remorse (turning Chris' into Chris's) and I was about to fly into a tard rage and change it back, but I figured I should try and find a source before I did. Turns out you are right about how it should be; specifically, to the best of my now current understanding, if Chris's CWCipedia ever shows an article where Chris claims to speak for all Chrisses, and these collective Chrisses' voices say they don't want him to speak for them, then that is how it should be written.

My head hurts now. You have rocked me to my ''core'', good lady. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 07:47, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

== Also, Mumble 6 ==

Thanks for fixing up Falsion's name in Mumble 6. I have no idea who these people are so I'm only basing my transcription on what I can hear. Names are something I'm struggling with- in fact, the first part of this whole damnable thing needs a re-listen to so I can name the trolls. Thanks for your help! -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 07:47, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

== Busy aren't we? ==

Where do you find the time to categorize both CWCki fanart and Asperpedia comics? More importantly, what would compel you to take on such an insanely huge task? Just curious. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]]
:I just felt like it.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 03:36, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== The Welcome Message ==

>Be especially sure to read this if you consider anonymous to be legion

I lol'd. --[[User:Saul Goodman|Saul Goodman]] 05:16, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for the welcome! --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 05:59, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

Chris and money

2010-07-03T00:53:36Z

Paperback: /* In other works */

{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

It's obvious that [[Chris]] himself has no grasp on the real value of '''money''', since he actively wastes as much of his [[monthly tugboat]] as possible on luxuries like [[Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[PS3|video games]], and, more recently, [[alcohol]]. He also once, when giving out the laws of [[CWCville]], equated 10 years in prison to a $1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated 50 hours of community service to $500 (for any sexual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer. His [[PSN]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' PS3 game that he's ever purchased, and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost at least about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris buys his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed! ==

Chris is what most would call a welfare leech. Chris's only source of income is the $800 [[monthly tugboat|"tugboat"]] that he receives from the federal government every month, placing his annual income at $9,600 a year. Chris's parents take $450 to pay for room and board.<ref>Miyamoto Saga</ref> In addition, Chris and his family get [[Wikipedia:Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program|SNAP]] money every month- more commonly known as food stamps.

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. |Chris, completely deluded.}}

To put this in perspective, at the time of writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180 on his life and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth monthly, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, as in, for more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $4,200 Chris pulls annually from the government after paying off his parents (roughly equal to what he's spent in total so far on his PS3); it becomes clear Bob's encouragement of Chris's not seeking employment has ''nothing'' to do with money. He knows his son is a [[fail]]ure.

Chris strongly believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless shit he is aiding the economy and paying for the tugboat of others.<ref>[[Mailbag 34]]</ref> This is complete dumbassery since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with federal payroll tax. Apparently, this is too complex for Chris's autistic mind. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond.

==Credit cards==
As surprising as it is that Chris has his own credit cards, it is equally unsurprising how unwisely he uses them. Chris has managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the PSN store, but his bill for PSN downloads increases by the day) and has even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his were maxed out. Being the greedy twat that he is, when Chris finally does make payments towards his debts, he always does so in the smallest installments possible, freeing himself to spend as much as he has (or more) on worthless shit, entirely oblivious to the fact that he's only increasing his debt by letting interest charges rack up. Economists are currently working on the theory that it is Chris's debts, not the collapse of financial institutions, which have caused the current global financial crisis.

==In the comic==
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely, all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris IRL. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the American populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of $3,500 a month just to hang around.

This, along with what else we know about [[CWCville]], could mean that Chris is a communist, or at the very least, a socialist. Of course, he's most likely too much of a retard to actually know what that means.

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually uses its own currency, in the form of C Quarters, W Quarters, and C Quarters. 10 C Quarters make up a W Quarter, and 10 W Quarters make up a C Quarter. Don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, especially considering what the word "quarter" means.

==In other works==
Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American Social Security system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. |Chris with a very bad idea...}}

So, what is a "Soup Hotel"? Chris describes it in [[Mailbag 20]] as a building ten stories tall with 10 to 20 rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, bed, lighting and Cable TV. Of course, the homeless will stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in CWCville, there are around 1,000-2,000 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and bevy of Rosechus stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that CWCville has had to open 7 new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things.

In [[Mailbag 29]] he states that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp (which would be a redundant middleman in a state-approved brothel), pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free Sex Ed classes for virgins. In real life, Chris tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] (who was charging $100 per hour) by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him.

== On TV ==

In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money.

Chris also seems to not understand that [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|if the health department, of Greene County, sees that TV show, that he put on the damn TV, they could be evicted, and he would have to move out]].

==See also==
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Chris and money

2010-07-03T00:51:18Z

Paperback: /* In other works */

{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

It's obvious that [[Chris]] himself has no grasp on the real value of '''money''', since he actively wastes as much of his [[monthly tugboat]] as possible on luxuries like [[Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[PS3|video games]], and, more recently, [[alcohol]]. He also once, when giving out the laws of [[CWCville]], equated 10 years in prison to a $1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated 50 hours of community service to $500 (for any sexual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer. His [[PSN]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' PS3 game that he's ever purchased, and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost at least about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris buys his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed! ==

Chris is what most would call a welfare leech. Chris's only source of income is the $800 [[monthly tugboat|"tugboat"]] that he receives from the federal government every month, placing his annual income at $9,600 a year. Chris's parents take $450 to pay for room and board.<ref>Miyamoto Saga</ref> In addition, Chris and his family get [[Wikipedia:Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program|SNAP]] money every month- more commonly known as food stamps.

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. |Chris, completely deluded.}}

To put this in perspective, at the time of writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180 on his life and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth monthly, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, as in, for more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $4,200 Chris pulls annually from the government after paying off his parents (roughly equal to what he's spent in total so far on his PS3); it becomes clear Bob's encouragement of Chris's not seeking employment has ''nothing'' to do with money. He knows his son is a [[fail]]ure.

Chris strongly believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless shit he is aiding the economy and paying for the tugboat of others.<ref>[[Mailbag 34]]</ref> This is complete dumbassery since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with federal payroll tax. Apparently, this is too complex for Chris's autistic mind. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond.

==Credit cards==
As surprising as it is that Chris has his own credit cards, it is equally unsurprising how unwisely he uses them. Chris has managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the PSN store, but his bill for PSN downloads increases by the day) and has even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his were maxed out. Being the greedy twat that he is, when Chris finally does make payments towards his debts, he always does so in the smallest installments possible, freeing himself to spend as much as he has (or more) on worthless shit, entirely oblivious to the fact that he's only increasing his debt by letting interest charges rack up. Economists are currently working on the theory that it is Chris's debts, not the collapse of financial institutions, which have caused the current global financial crisis.

==In the comic==
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely, all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris IRL. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the American populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of $3,500 a month just to hang around.

This, along with what else we know about [[CWCville]], could mean that Chris is a communist, or at the very least, a socialist. Of course, he's most likely too much of a retard to actually know what that means.

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually uses its own currency, in the form of C Quarters, W Quarters, and C Quarters. 10 C Quarters make up a W Quarter, and 10 W Quarters make up a C Quarter. Don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, especially considering what the word "quarter" means.

==In other works==
Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American Social Security system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. |Chris with a very bad idea...}}

So, what is a "Soup Hotel"? Chris describes it in [[Mailbag 20]] as a building ten stories tall with 10 to 20 rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, bed, lighting and Cable TV. Of course, the homeless will stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms and shared TV sets, Chris think the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in CWCville, there're around 1,000-2,000 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and bevy of Rosechus stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that CWCville has had to open 7 new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things.

In [[Mailbag 29]] he states that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp (which would be a redundant middleman in a state-approved brothel), pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free Sex Ed classes for virgins. In real life, Chris tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] (who was charging $100 per hour) by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him.

== On TV ==

In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money.

Chris also seems to not understand that [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|if the health department, of Greene County, sees that TV show, that he put on the damn TV, they could be evicted, and he would have to move out]].

==See also==
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category: Chris-chan]]

User:Paperback

2010-07-03T00:49:57Z

Paperback: Created page with 'New to this, so tell me if I screw up. Mostly I'll just be editing spelling/grammar errors.'

New to this, so tell me if I screw up.

Mostly I'll just be editing spelling/grammar errors.