CWCki - User contributions [en]

Son-Chu

2010-11-11T06:38:56Z

PhilRaptor: /* Vanity plate */

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' (aka '''The Sonichu Mobile''') is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle to be used in a plan to [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|commit]] [[Sonichu Special 4|aggravated]] [[June062010.MOV|assault]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]]. Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding on more [[PSN|important]] things to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.<ref>[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Unsurprisingly, Chris' parents pay for his gas.<ref>[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

==Backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a three-ton mobile weapon).]]
Since Chris jerks off to ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my [[Fail|Cool]] [[Obesity|Sportin']], Escortin' Car."<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when Decepti-Clones attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the Cwcville Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.
}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other ''Transformers'' rip-offs, though.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being [[Autism|a high-functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref>. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]], lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris' dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's [[Autism|high-functioning life]], he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.

==Vanity plate==
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a family plate stems from family. [[Bob]] has a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a support for the U.N.) and "IB MR C" ("I be Mr. C," as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]) and [[Barb]] has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris' family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
Chris' car features a number of ancient and faded bumper stickers. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* Sonichu Window Static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris' car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for the old Tripod website, what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both Sonic and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''Sonichu'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris' ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music - A bumper sticker for a local record shop where Chris probably gets his [[Chris and music|used Britney Spears CD's]] from.
* An American Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in 2001, during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "Autism. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. How is "Autism" a sentence? Do you think it can be "cured" rather than treated? What are you doing to "Work For A Cure"? Why is "A" capitalized?
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place, however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a Jesus fish, a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" has been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker. Since this is a first time we've seen Son-Chu in quite a while, it's so far impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

==Car trouble==
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerk|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.

About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.

During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris [[6 June 2010|loudly denied]]. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.

==Mechanical issues==
[[File:Oil_Change_due_4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris' absurdly overdue oil change.]]
Given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]] it's unlikely they take any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at the performance was with the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car was set to idle at a traffic stop or while parked the engine would rattle loudly, more then likely this is caused by bent U-joints (meaning Chris/Barbara probably hit a curb) connecting the drive shaft to the engine and transmission, and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|worthless shit]] the U-joints are much too expensive for him to repair. A Pennzoil sticker on the windshield indicated the next recommended oil change was to take place on the fifth of April 2009, over a year before the video was recorded. We also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it. At this point it can only be speculated which will go first: the car or [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]?
{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

ECV 00002

2010-10-11T06:34:35Z

PhilRaptor:

[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|Chris in his super-mode.]] ECV 00002 is a video uploaded on 11 October, 2010 in which Chris uses the power of [[Random Access Humor]] to transform into his Super-Mode, presumably for [[Jackie]]. The [[Plush Breasts]] make a cameo appearance in this video.
[[File:Hpowers.jpg|thumb|Electric furry powers!.]]

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00002
| video = {{#ev:youtube|nt86Y5JW4ZI}}
| stardate = 11 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = None
| previous = [[ECV 00001]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===
Hello, folks. Well, and now for something completely different. Electric hedgehog power PEW!

[Chris [[fail|seamlessly]] transforms into Chris Chan Sonichu]

Pew. This would be me in my super mode! If I actually had the super powers. But I don't in real life. But I dressed up like this anyway, to, I don't know, just to say something or just to have fun. Anyway, live an [[Honest content|honest life]], don't [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]], don't badmouth people. It's just not cool. You know? Don't pic- don't torture me. At least I am doing this and I have myself a woman, [[Chris and his Ego|so there]]. So she'll appreciate this very much. She appreciates almo- everything I do for her. [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Especially these videos]]. [[Jackie]] I love you. I want to hold you in my arms, sweetheart. You come over right on here and we'll do each other right. [[Sex_tape|Sweet times]]. Alright anyway, stay in school, stay well, um, you know, just live life peace- live peacefully. Don't take- don't [[Chris and Anger|be angry at people]]. Don't be mean. Ok? Alright. Take care.

ECV 00002

2010-10-11T06:11:40Z

PhilRaptor:

[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|Chris in his super-mode.]] ECV 00002 is a video uploaded on 11 October, 2010 in which Chris uses the power of [[Random Access Humor]] to transform into his Super-Mode, presumably for [[Jackie]]. The [[Plush Breasts]] make a cameo appearance in this video.
[[File:Hpowers.jpg|thumb|Electric furry powers!.]]

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00002
| video = {{#ev:youtube|nt86Y5JW4ZI}}
| stardate = 11 [[October 2010]]
| subject = Trolls
| style = {{Crazy|text}},
| saga =
| shirt = None
| previous = [[ECV 00001]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===
Hello, folks. Well, and now for something completely different. Electric hedgehog power PEW!

[Chris [[fail|seamlessly]] transforms into Chris Chan Sonichu]

Pew. This would be me in my super mode! If I actually had the super powers. But I don't in real life. But I dressed up like this anyway, to, I don't know, just to say something or just to have fun. Anyway, live an [[Honest content|honest life]], don't [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]], don't badmouth people. It's just not cool. You know? Don't pic- don't torture me. At least I am doing this and I have myself a woman, [[Chris and his Ego|so there]]. So she'll appreciate this very much. She appreciates almo- everything I do for her. [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Especially these videos]]. [[Jackie]] I love you. I want to hold you in my arms, sweetheart. You come over right on here and we'll do each other right. Sweet times. Alright anyway, stay in school, stay well, um, you know, just live life peace- live peacefully. Don't take- don't [[Chris and Anger|be angry at people]]. Don't be mean. Ok? Alright. Take care.

100 2266

2010-10-06T13:00:45Z

PhilRaptor:

[[File:pedoforkgrimace.jpg|thumb|Grimace and some [[Pedofork|gal-pals]]]]

'''100 2266''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 4 [[October 2010]]. Continuing with the [[McDonald's]] character theme, the start of this video sees Chris dress up as [[wikipedia:McDonaldland#Characters|the Grimace]]. He then removes his costume and proceeds to play the [[Gitar of Fail]], while singing [[Wikipedia:Mark Wills|Mark Wills]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Don't Laugh at Me|Don't Laugh at Me]]" to what is apparently a tune of his own making. Either he's never heard the actual song, or he's a worse singer than we thought. Chris then finishes up the video by dispelling some rumors, confirming that [[Jackie]] is indeed real, that he [[Chris humps his PS3|doesn't hump his PS3]], nor any [[Chandler Cats|animals]].

Interestingly enough, the Grimace was originally a heel that was constantly [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1DlNbXviQQ being trolled by Ronald]. Chris's ability to impersonate the fat, amorphous, greedy, amoral, sugar-addicted, obsessive, naive, self-delusional, egotistical, cave-dwelling, hoarding, anthropomorphic blob of lard's original design is uncanny, even down to his bitch-tits as stand-ins for the Grimace's lower arms.

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2266
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kPY6-lf62Ls}}
| stardate = 4 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{VerticalRedYellowShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| previous = [[100 2265]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===

[[File:creep.jpg|thumb|A rather disturbing interpretation]]

[''Chris is dressed in three pieces of purple construction paper on his face, chest, and stomach assembled to vaguely resemble the McDonalds character Grimace'']

[''Singing in a deep [[retarded]] voice'']
:Hello, I'm the Grimace, I'm not dead.
:I've been down; I'm feelin' sad.
:All this time in my childhood, everybody thought I was different

Seriously folks, I was treated differently because I was [[autistic]] too. I am..-was autistic and very....very shy. Uhhh [[Nathanel Greene Elementary School#Chris's side of the story|the teachers they took me, they picked on me, they beat up on me, they recorded my screams.]] What a sad life for me as a Grimace. [[Chris and his ego|I hate being treated differently]], I don't like being treated differently. No one likes being treated differently! People should be [[Death threats|friendly towards each other]]. People please, be friendly towards each other. Do not laugh, because laughing is sad. Laughing at other peoples expenses makes them sad. It makes me sad, and don't make the Grimace sad.
[''Chris pulls off the construction paper on his face'']

[''Normal voice''] Don't make the Grimace sad, cause you could make me glad. [''Chris removes the second two pieces of construction paper taped to him.''] By not...being an instigator and gettin' laughs at other peoples expenses.

[''Pulls out his [[Guitar Hero]] guitar from a pile of shit'']

Here, let me sing a little song, it might clear things up a bit.

[''Strums [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bingo_(song)"Bingo"] on the strum bar for about 10 seconds'']

:Oh my little boy with [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]. The one they call the geek.
:[[Megan|A little girl who never smiles.]] Cause I've got braces on my teeth.
:And I know how it feels to cry myself to sleep.
:I'm that kid, on every playground who's always chosen last.
:A single teenage mother tryin' to overcome my past.
:You don't have to be my friend, but is it too much to ask?

:Don't laugh at me, don't [[Aspergers_syndrome|call me names]], [[Twin Falling Towers|don't get your pleasure from my pain]].
:In God's eyes we're all the same. Some day we'll all have [[Anime Wings|perfect wings]]. Don't laugh at me.

:I'm the cripple on the corner, you pass me on the street.
:I wouldn't be out here [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!|begging]], [[Obesity|if I had enough to eat.]]
:And don't think I don't notice, that our eyes never meet.
:I lost my wife and [[Reginald_Chandler|little boy]] when someone cross the yellow line.
:The day we laid them on the ground, is the day I lost my mind.
:And right now I'm down to holdin', [[Attraction Sign|this little cardboard sign]] so...

:Don't laugh at me, don't [[Naive|call me names]], don't get your pleasures from my pain.
:In God's eyes, we're all just the same, some day we'll all have perfect wings.
:Don't laugh at me.

:[[Obesity|I'm fat]], I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall, [''Chris turns his head and puts on a stupid voice, defeating the purpose of the song''.] I'm DEAF, I'm blind. Hey, aren't we all? [Holds out hand twoards camera in an attempt to look poignant]

:Don't laugh at me, don't [[Homos|call me names]], don't get your pleasure from my pain.
:In God's eyes we're all the same, some day we'll all have perfect wings.
:[''Chris does a [[Glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|dramatic glasses removal]] and says in a much more serious tone''] Don't laugh at me.

[''Reads off a paper he's been holding''] Original song sung by Mark Willis. Look it up on iTunes and wherever. Seriously, [[Secret Weapon|don't laugh at me, and I won't laugh at you either.]] Nobody is perfect. So quit trying to pick on us for our pain. And also for your information, there is a woman named Jackie. It is not some name I've given to my console. And I do not hump my console at all. I only did it [[Chris humps his PS3|that one time]] cause I was blackmailed. And I would never do that to any animals. [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Bestiality is WRONG]]. And don't believe any rumors you hear about me, especially an obvious one like [''Retarded voice''] detaching a [[vagina]] from a [[Kimmi|sex doll]] and putting it on a [[PlayStation 3]]... or an [[Xbox]]! [''Regular voice''] Too incredible to believe. It is false, no matter how you imagine it. [''pause'']

So there. Have a good day.

==See also==
*[[100 2265]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2265]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

100 2266

2010-10-06T07:15:52Z

PhilRaptor:

[[File:pedoforkgrimace.jpg|thumb|Grimace and some [[Pedofork|gal-pals]]]]

'''100 2266''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 4 [[October 2010]]. Continuing with the [[McDonald's]] character theme, the start of this video sees Chris dress up as [[wikipedia:McDonaldland#Characters|the Grimace]]. He then removes his costume and proceeds to play the [[Gitar of Fail]], while singing [[Wikipedia:Mark Wills|Mark Wills]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Don't Laugh at Me|Don't Laugh at Me]]" to what is apparently a tune of his own making. Either he's never heard the actual song, or he's a worse singer than we thought. Chris then finishes up the video by dispelling some rumors, confirming that [[Jackie]] is indeed real, that he [[Chris humps his PS3|doesn't hump his PS3]], nor any [[Chandler Cats|animals]].

Interestingly enough, the Grimace was originally a heel that was constantly [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1DlNbXviQQ being trolled by Ronald]. Chris's ability to impersonate the fat, amorphous, greedy, amoral, sugar-addicted, obsessive, naive, self-delusional, egotistical, cave-dwelling, hoarding, anthropomorphic blob of lard's original design is uncanny, even down to his bitch-tits as stand-ins for the Grimace's lower arms.

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2266
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kPY6-lf62Ls}}
| stardate = 4 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{VerticalRedYellowShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| previous = [[100 2265]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===

[[File:creep.jpg|thumb|A rather disturbing interpretation]]

[''Chris is dressed in three pieces of purple construction paper on his face, chest, and stomach assembled to vaguely resemble the McDonalds character Grimace'']

[''Singing in a deep [[retarded]] voice'']
:Hello, I'm the Grimace, I'm not dead.
:I've been down; I'm feelin' sad.
:All this time in my childhood, everybody thought I was different

Seriously folks, I was treated differently because I was [[autistic]] too. I am..-was autistic and very....very shy. Uhhh [[Nathanel Greene Elementary School#Chris's side of the story|the teachers they took me, they picked on me, they beat up on me, they recorded my screams.]] What a sad life for me as a Grimace. [[Chris and his ego|I hate being treated differently]], I don't like being treated differently. No one likes being treated differently! People should be [[Death threats|friendly towards each other]]. People please, be friendly towards each other. Do not laugh, because laughing is sad. Laughing at other peoples expenses makes them sad. It makes me sad, and don't make the Grimace sad.
[''Chris pulls off the construction paper on his face'']

[''Normal voice''] Don't make the Grimace sad, cause you could make me glad. [''Chris removes the second two pieces of construction paper taped to him.''] By not...being an instigator and gettin' laughs at other peoples expenses.

[''Pulls out his [[Guitar Hero]] guitar from a pile of shit'']

Here, let me sing a little song, it might clear things up a bit.

[''Strums [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bingo_(song)"Bingo"] on the strum bar for about 10 seconds'']

:Oh my little boy with [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]. The one they call the geek.
:[[Megan|A little girl who never smiles.]] Cause I've got braces on my teeth.
:And I know how it feels to cry myself to sleep.
:I'm that kid, on every playground who's always chosen last.
:A single teenage mother tryin' to overcome my past.
:You don't have to be my friend, but is it too much to ask?

:Don't laugh at me, don't [[Aspergers_syndrome|call me names]], [[Twin Falling Towers|don't get your pleasure from my pain]].
:In God's eyes we're all the same. Some day we'll all have [[Anime Wings|perfect wings]]. Don't laugh at me.

:I'm the cripple on the corner, you pass me on the street.
:I wouldn't be out here [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!|begging]], [[Obesity|if I had enough to eat.]]
:And don't think I don't notice, that our eyes never meet.
:I lost my wife and [[Reginald_Chandler|little boy]] when someone cross the yellow line.
:The day we laid them on the ground, is the day I lost my mind.
:And right now I'm down to holdin', [[Attraction Sign|this little cardboard sign]] so...

:Don't laugh at me, don't [[Naive|call me names]], don't get your pleasures from my pain.
:In God's eyes, we're all just the same, some day we'll all have perfect wings.
:Don't laugh at me.

:[[Obesity|I'm fat]], I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall, [''Chris turns his head and puts on a stupid voice, defeating the purpose of the song''.] I'm DEAF, I'm blind. Hey, aren't we all? [Holds out hand twoards camera in an attempt to look poignant]

:Don't laugh at me, don't [[Homos|call me names]], don't get your pleasure from my pain.
:In God's eyes we're all the same, some day we'll all have perfect wings.
:[''Chris does a [[Glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|dramatic glasses removal]] and says in a much more serious tone''] Don't laugh at me.

[''Reads off a paper he's been holding''] Original song sung by Mark Willis. Look it up on iTunes and wherever. Seriously, [[Secret Weapon|don't laugh at me, and I won't laugh at you either.]] Nobody is perfect. So quit trying to pick on us for our pain. And also for your information, there is a woman named Jackie. It is not some name I've given to my console. And I do not hump my console at all. I only did it [[Chris humps his PS3|that one time]] cause I was blackmailed. And I would never do that to any animals. [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Bestiality is WRONG]]. And don't believe any rumors you hear about me, especially an obvious one like [''Retarded voice''] detaching a [[vagina]] from a sex doll and putting it on a [[PlayStation 3]]... or an [[Xbox]]! [''Regular voice''] Too incredible to believe. It is false, no matter how you imagine it. [''pause'']

So there. Have a good day.

==See also==
*[[100 2265]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2265]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

100 2266

2010-10-06T07:07:04Z

PhilRaptor:

[[File:pedoforkgrimace.jpg|thumb|Grimace and some [[Pedofork|gal-pals]]]]

'''100 2266''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 4 [[October 2010]]. Continuing with the [[McDonald's]] character theme, the start of this video sees Chris dress up as [[wikipedia:McDonaldland#Characters|the Grimace]]. He then removes his costume and proceeds to play the [[Gitar of Fail]], while singing [[Wikipedia:Mark Wills|Mark Wills]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Don't Laugh at Me|Don't Laugh at Me]]" to what is apparently a tune of his own making. Either he's never heard the actual song, or he's a worse singer than we thought. Chris then finishes up the video by dispelling some rumors, confirming that [[Jackie]] is indeed real, that he [[Chris humps his PS3|doesn't hump his PS3]], nor any [[Chandler Cats|animals]].

Interestingly enough, the Grimace was originally a heel that was constantly [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1DlNbXviQQ being trolled by Ronald]. Chris's ability to impersonate the fat, amorphous, greedy, amoral, sugar-addicted, obsessive, naive, self-delusional, egotistical, cave-dwelling, hoarding, anthropomorphic blob of lard's original design is uncanny, even down to his bitch-tits as stand-ins for the Grimace's lower arms.

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2266
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kPY6-lf62Ls}}
| stardate = 4 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{VerticalRedYellowShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| previous = [[100 2265]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===

[[File:creep.jpg|thumb|A rather disturbing interpretation]]

[''Chris is dressed in three pieces of purple construction paper on his face, chest, and stomach assembled to vaguely resemble the McDonalds character Grimace'']

[''Singing in a deep [[retarded]] voice'']
:Hello, I'm the Grimace, I'm not dead.
:I've been down; I'm feelin' sad.
:All this time in my childhood, everybody thought I was different

Seriously folks, I was treated differently because I was [[autistic]] too. I am..-was autistic and very....very shy. Uhhh [[Nathanel Greene Elementary School#Chris's side of the story|the teachers they took me, they picked on me, they beat up on me, they recorded my screams.]] What a sad life for me as a Grimace. [[Chris and his ego|I hate being treated differently]], I don't like being treated differently. No one likes being treated differently! People should be [[Death threats|friendly towards each other]]. People please, be friendly towards each other. Do not laugh, because laughing is sad. Laughing at other peoples expenses makes them sad. It makes me sad, and don't make the Grimace sad.
[''Chris pulls off the construction paper on his face'']

[''Normal voice''] Don't make the Grimace sad, cause you could make me glad. [''Chris removes the second two pieces of construction paper taped to him.''] By not...being an instigator and gettin' laughs at other peoples expenses.

[''Pulls out his [[Guitar Hero]] guitar from a pile of shit'']

Here, let me sing a little song, it might clear things up a bit.

[''Strums [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bingo_(song)"Bingo"] on the strum bar for about 10 seconds'']

:Oh my little boy with [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]. The one they call the geek.
:[[Megan|A little girl who never smiles.]] Cause I've got braces on my teeth.
:And I know how it feels to cry myself to sleep.
:I'm that kid, on every playground who's always chosen last.
:A single teenage mother tryin' to overcome my past.
:You don't have to be my friend, but is it too much to ask?

:Don't laugh at me, don't call me names, [[Twin Falling Towers|don't get your pleasure from my pain]].
:In God's eyes we're all the same. Some day we'll all have [[Anime Wings|perfect wings]]. Don't laugh at me.

:I'm the cripple on the corner, you pass me on the street.
:I wouldn't be out here [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!|begging]], [[Obesity|if I had enough to eat.]]
:And don't think I don't notice, that our eyes never meet.
:I lost my wife and [[Reginald_Chandler|little boy]] when someone cross the yellow line.
:The day we laid them on the ground, is the day I lost my mind.
:And right now I'm down to holdin', [[Attraction Sign|this little cardboard sign]] so...

:Don't laugh at me, don't call me names, don't get your pleasures from my pain.
:In God's eyes, we're all just the same, some day we'll all have perfect wings.
:Don't laugh at me.

:[[Obesity|I'm fat]], I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall, [''Chris turns his head and puts on a stupid voice, defeating the purpose of the song''.] I'm DEAF, I'm blind. Hey, aren't we all? [Holds out hand twoards camera in an attempt to look poignant]

:Don't laugh at me, don't call me names, don't get your pleasure from my pain.
:In God's eyes we're all the same, some day we'll all have perfect wings.
:[''Chris does a [[Glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|dramatic glasses removal]] and says in a much more serious tone''] Don't laugh at me.

[''Reads off a paper he's been holding''] Original song sung by Mark Willis. Look it up on iTunes and wherever. Seriously, [[Secret Weapon|don't laugh at me, and I won't laugh at you either.]] Nobody is perfect. So quit trying to pick on us for our pain. And also for your information, there is a woman named Jackie. It is not some name I've given to my console. And I do not hump my console at all. I only did it [[Chris humps his PS3|that one time]] cause I was blackmailed. And I would never do that to any animals. [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Bestiality is WRONG]]. And don't believe any rumors you hear about me, especially an obvious one like [''Retarded voice''] detaching a [[vagina]] from a sex doll and putting it on a [[PlayStation 3]]... or an [[Xbox]]! [''Regular voice''] Too incredible to believe. It is false, no matter how you imagine it. [''pause'']

So there. Have a good day.

==See also==
*[[100 2265]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2265]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

100 2266

2010-10-06T07:01:50Z

PhilRaptor:

[[File:pedoforkgrimace.jpg|thumb|Grimace and some [[Pedofork|gal-pals]]]]

'''100 2266''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 4 [[October 2010]]. Continuing with the [[McDonald's]] character theme, the start of this video sees Chris dress up as [[wikipedia:McDonaldland#Characters|the Grimace]]. He then removes his costume and proceeds to play the [[Gitar of Fail]], while singing [[Wikipedia:Mark Wills|Mark Wills]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Don't Laugh at Me|Don't Laugh at Me]]" to what is apparently a tune of his own making. Either he's never heard the actual song, or he's a worse singer than we thought. Chris then finishes up the video by dispelling some rumors, confirming that [[Jackie]] is indeed real, that he [[Chris humps his PS3|doesn't hump his PS3]], nor any [[Chandler Cats|animals]].

Interestingly enough, the Grimace was originally a heel that was constantly [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1DlNbXviQQ being trolled by Ronald]. Chris's ability to impersonate the fat, amorphous, greedy, amoral, sugar-addicted, obsessive, naive, self-delusional, egotistical, cave-dwelling, hoarding, anthropomorphic blob of lard's original design is uncanny, even down to his bitch-tits as stand-ins for the Grimace's lower arms.

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2266
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kPY6-lf62Ls}}
| stardate = 4 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{VerticalRedYellowShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| previous = [[100 2265]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===

[[File:creep.jpg|thumb|A rather disturbing interpretation]]

[''Chris is dressed in three pieces of purple construction paper on his face, chest, and stomach assembled to vaguely resemble the McDonalds character Grimace'']

[''Singing in a deep [[retarded]] voice'']
:Hello, I'm the Grimace, I'm not dead.
:I've been down; I'm feelin' sad.
:All this time in my childhood, everybody thought I was different

Seriously folks, I was treated differently because I was [[autistic]] too. I am..-was autistic and very....very shy. Uhhh [[Nathanel Greene Elementary School#Chris's side of the story|the teachers they took me, they picked on me, they beat up on me, they recorded my screams.]] What a sad life for me as a Grimace. [[Chris and his ego|I hate being treated differently]], I don't like being treated differently. No one likes being treated differently! People should be [[Death threats|friendly towards each other]]. People please, be friendly towards each other. Do not laugh, because laughing is sad. Laughing at other peoples expenses makes them sad. It makes me sad, and don't make the Grimace sad.
[''Chris pulls off the construction paper on his face'']

[''Normal voice''] Don't make the Grimace sad, cause you could make me glad. [''Chris removes the second two pieces of construction paper taped to him.''] By not...being an instigator and gettin' laughs at other peoples expenses.

[''Pulls out his [[Guitar Hero]] guitar from a pile of shit'']

Here, let me sing a little song, it might clear things up a bit.

[''Strums [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bingo_(song)"Bingo"] on the strum bar for about 10 seconds'']

:Oh my little boy with [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]. The one they call the geek.
:[[Megan|A little girl who never smiles.]] Cause I've got braces on my teeth.
:And I know how it feels to cry myself to sleep.
:I'm that kid, on every playground who's always chosen last.
:A single teenage mother tryin' to overcome my past.
:You don't have to be my friend, but is it too much to ask?

:Don't laugh at me, don't call me names, [[Twin Falling Towers|don't get your pleasure from my pain]].
:In God's eyes we're all the same. Some day we'll all have [[Anime Wings|perfect wings]]. Don't laugh at me.

:I'm the cripple on the corner, you pass me on the street.
:I wouldn't be out here begging, [[Obesity|if I had enough to eat.]]
:And don't think I don't notice, that our eyes never meet.
:I lost my wife and [[Reginald_Chandler|little boy]] when someone cross the yellow line.
:The day we laid them on the ground, is the day I lost my mind.
:And right now I'm down to holdin', [[Attraction Sign|this little cardboard sign]] so...

:Don't laugh at me, don't call me names, don't get your pleasures from my pain.
:In God's eyes, we're all just the same, some day we'll all have perfect wings.
:Don't laugh at me.

:[[Obesity|I'm fat]], I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall, [''Chris turns his head and puts on a stupid voice, defeating the purpose of the song''.] I'm DEAF, I'm blind. Hey, aren't we all? [Holds out hand twoards camera in an attempt to look poignant]

:Don't laugh at me, don't call me names, don't get your pleasure from my pain.
:In God's eyes we're all the same, some day we'll all have perfect wings.
:[''Chris does a [[Glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|dramatic glasses removal]] and says in a much more serious tone''] Don't laugh at me.

[''Reads off a paper he's been holding''] Original song sung by Mark Willis. Look it up on iTunes and wherever. Seriously, [[Secret Weapon|don't laugh at me, and I won't laugh at you either.]] Nobody is perfect. So quit trying to pick on us for our pain. And also for your information, there is a woman named Jackie. It is not some name I've given to my console. And I do not hump my console at all. I only did it [[Chris humps his PS3|that one time]] cause I was blackmailed. And I would never do that to any animals. [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Bestiality is WRONG]]. And don't believe any rumors you hear about me, especially an obvious one like [''Retarded voice''] detaching a [[vagina]] from a sex doll and putting it on a [[PlayStation 3]]... or an [[Xbox]]! [''Regular voice''] Too incredible to believe. It is false, no matter how you imagine it. [''pause'']

So there. Have a good day.

==See also==
*[[100 2265]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2265]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Chris Destroys His Vibrator

2010-10-06T06:55:59Z

PhilRaptor:

"'''Chris Destroys His Vibrator'''" (officially "'''ECV 00050'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] explains why he had to make [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|the two videos]] suggesting that he was [[gay]], in order to satisfy an agreement with [[Clyde Cash]]. He then attempts to honor another agreement with Clyde by destroying his [[vibrator]]. Or rather, he ''tries'' to destroy his vibrator, [[fail]]s, and simply takes it apart in a manner that would allow him to easily reassemble it. Many experts believe that ten seconds after filming this clip, Chris was already hastily putting his dildo back together, his anus hungering for its sweet, sweaty, [[Navy|salty]], poo-covered, rancid delights.

Chris apparently doesn't seem to understand that if he were actually straight, he would've disposed of the dildo the moment he got it instead of storing it in his room.

It is implied in this video that Christian could not issue this retraction until "one man" emailed him to say he recognized the sooper-sekrit clues in the previous videos. Apparently, if no one had solved the mystery Chris would have been forced to live as a [[homo]] forever.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Destroys His Vibrator
| image = {{#ev:youtube|UiJCri7IhwA}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 06 February 2009
| Maker = Chris
| Subject Matter = {{Homos|text}}
| Saga = {{Julie|text}}, {{Clyde|text}}
| Shirt = {{StraightWhiteLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Chris_Comes_Out_of_the_Closet#Take_2|Chris Comes Out of the Closet, Take 2]]
| next = [[CWC Update 8 February 2009#Video|CWC Update 8 February 2009]]
}}</center>

{{quote|I was lying out of my ass!|Chris, who is [[lie|definitely not a homo]].}}

===Transcript===

[''smacks [[camera]]'']

Hello.

Y'all may—some of you may have seen the, uh, video, which—of which I recently ''up''…lo—''loaded''… sayin’ that I was, uh… of the wrong… orientation. But any—but I w—I wanted to let y'all know that… I on—I did that… to save the life… of a trusted [[Julie|gal-pal]]. And she is eternally grateful from—to me for it. So, th—so, yes, as you can tell from my… non-verbal ''clues'', I was lying out of my ass! But I did it to save a l—to save ''her'' life, 'cause… [[Clyde Cash]]… would've harmed her, but I have gotten ''his word'' that, uh, he would not lay a finger on her.

And also, I had to make another… slight promise—uh… another promise, after making that—after ''that'': that I, uh, get rid of some… of my… unnecessary possessions. I wanted to let—I wanted to, uh, let him know, anyway, that I've already started. [''reaches off-camera for something'']

I destroyed… [''drops it, picks it up, puts it back in his hand''] ''this''. [''presents a disassembled [[vibrator]]'']

[''jump cut to Chris (apparently pre-disassembly) trying to snap the vibrator in half with his bare hands'']

[''jump cut to Chris really straining to break the vibrator'']

[''jump cut to Chris simply pulling the vibrator's two halves apart as they're designed to come apart'']

[''jump cut to Chris pulling the motor out of its half'']

[''jump cut to Chris holding the two halves in one hand'']

Dun-dun-''dunnn''! [''holds the pieces out like the [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Card_Crusher Card Crusher] before throwing them down'']

The—''that'' deed is done. I am ''straight''. ''I am straight.''

And it only—and it took me the, uh, one time… where I actually had to say the word… that I hated so much… for the first time in my life, ever. And then, later, it took… one man to, uh, send me an e-mail, lettin' me know that he ''realized'' the non-verbal clues… leading to—like, I was being forced to do that, and I had to lie out my ass.

Y'all can, uh, view the previously uploaded video… in its originality… [''sniffles''] and unaltered spec—in an unaltered—unaltered sense in my current Yah—[[YouTube]] account. But… I think I have proven myself well enough. [[Mass_Debating|I was holding onto my ''manhood'']]—my straightness—by having [[Optimus Prime]] in my lap… [''reaches off-camera for poster and holds it up''] and my [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] behind me… that I look at every night to help keep me straight. [''puts poster away'']

I was ''born'' straight, and I will never be changed that way.

Thank you.

==Fan videos==

<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan vs. Vibrator
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_Uga4JA354o}}
| Stardate = 8 February 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/RosechusPickle '''RosechusPickle''']
| Subject =
| Video Type = Remix
| Other Info = A battle of epic proportions.
}}</center>

<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Christian Weston Chandler: Test your might!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ydcRfctzkjI }}
| Stardate = 12 February 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/MajorIronwood '''MajorIronwood''']
| Subject =
| Video Type = Remix
| Other Info = FINISH HIM!
}}</center>

<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Repairs His Vibrator
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5jP3QhwqM8o}}
| Stardate = 17 February 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 '''tehcosmicexplorer08''']
| Subject =
| Video Type = Aftermath
| Other Info = The truth can finally be revealed.
}}</center>

==See also==

*[[Sign Destruction Video]]
*[[Sex toys]]
*[[Homos]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]|nextlink=[[CWC Update 8 February 2009]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries|2009-02-06]]

Talk:ItIsFinished.MOV

2010-08-31T06:36:28Z

PhilRaptor: /* What about his games? */

I'll transcribe this. BITCH? [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 11:25, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

I noticed a white box on the end of the line up of PS3 bits. Was that Chris's Wii as well?[[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 12:15, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
: I think its just a part of the PS3 --[[User:Monkeytacoz|Monkeytacoz]] 12:21, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

:: No, it appears to be too large to be a Wii.--[[User:Black Lotus|Black Lotus]] 12:22, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

::: If you have a look at some of the PS3 disassembly guides on the web, it becomes pretty clear: the big white bit is the Blu-ray drive. Actually, to put a good fine point on it, the three stacks nearer the camera, left to right, are the disc drive, the top half of the case, and then the motherboard and the three hard drives. In the back, I think it would be the CPU/GPU/fan assembly, the other half of the case, and then the power supply and motherboard shielding. Think I'll maybe add a clarifying note to the article. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 21:48, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

Tune in tomorrow folks as our hero Chris-Chan, goes to Gamestop and buys another PS3 [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 12:29, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
: I wonder if the "heckler" thing has anything to do with Seinfeld. --[[User:DonnieDarko|DonnieDarko]] 12:29, 30 August 2010 (PDT)DonnieDarko

== What about his games? ==

One thing to mention here is that he didn't destroy his collection of PS3 games along with his PS3, so it's very well possible he purchased a new PS3 (He also saved the cover to his old PS3 which could also be a big hint). [[User:Victor Charlie|Victor Charlie]] 16:02, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
*That's exactly what I thought. If he had truly destroyed his "life upgrade" why isn't there any eBay action, Craigslist sales of games or Gamestop trade-in receipts? I guessing he either bought a new slim PS3, tard-raged over the reformatting fiasco, attempted to remove the remaining bugs and bricked it, or has finally cracked.--[[User:PhilRaptor|PhilRaptor]] 23:36, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

==3 hard drives==
He fucked up the memory for 3 hard drives? [[User:DrewPickles|DrewPickles]] 18:17, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:No, one was his original drive and the other two were ones he bought as upgrades. --[[User:GotAFish|GotAFish]] 18:25, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
::So, if he bought a new PS3 (and depending on the state of, and if/how he transferred any files), he might've been able to recover some of his older stuff? Well, at any rate, he fucked it all throughly (to the extent of his capacity to do so; some scrap-seeking electromagnet at the garbage dump oughtta finish it off in the next few days), so moot point. Also: improper disposal of electronic refuse. --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 23:22, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Matthew Nobles call

2010-08-16T06:29:29Z

PhilRaptor: /* Follow up call? */

This is important shit guys, mostly detailing Bob's theory of the conspiracy that trolling originated from [[Megan]], Michael Synder, and "a few gay guys."--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:38, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Yeah, this is awesome. Now, if we had Matthew's email, we could verify the "George Millson" case a few of us are looking into, seeing as it's possible proof of Chris hypnotizing someone into believing Chris is a good person. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
::What are you talking about? --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 20:13, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Either look at the talk pages of either CypherFDP, Msummers or me, or email enginegeorge@yahoo.com asking what happened between him and Chris. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 20:41, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
* Most upsetting Bob oriented thing to date. He's equally responsible for Chris growing up to be a useless sack of shit. I liked the world better when I thought it was all Barb's fault. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 19:06, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
** It's the final proof that Chris's vague understanding of reality and tendency towards conspiracy are just him puppetting his senile father and white trash mother. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 20:04, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** I think you mean "parotting". I doubt Chris is able to project his delusions onto even his own parents. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 23:14, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** Even further than that, the fact that Chris didn't tell his parents about his near-arrest and tried to hide it proves that he is either very afraid of them or will do anything to avoid trouble (even if it is impractical or impossible). I'm also very interested in this apparent theft of Chris's funds. I'm wondering if someone really did break in to mess with his account, or whether Chris bought more shit than he could afford, and is trying to cover it up by claiming "trolls did it" --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 20:25, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
Who is that at the end? Sounds like Chris but...really off... - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 20:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
* Snorlaxicus Maximus. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 20:04, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
** Oh snap! So is this her longest appearance in recorded media? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 20:06, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** This needs to get transcribed, this is really good material. [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 20:13, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
**** ffffffffffffffff why did it get cut off at the end? i wanna hear more of snorlax's rambling --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 20:17, 15 August 2010 (PDT). Thanks for reading!

Nine hours without a transcription. Sons, I am disapoint.
:I'm on the part where Bob talks about trolls hacking Chris's e-mails. This shit is gold. --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 20:44, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:*Fuck. As usual, something new comes along when I'm at work. I'll take a look as soon as I get home, assuming Beat doesn't get word of this and leap upon it like the sexy, caped crusader for justice that he is. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 21:01, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

Transcribed. Hopefully without too many mistakes. I'll colorize it as soon as I get myself nice and drunk. --[[User:RTBHBX|RTBHBX]] 21:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:And colored. Tugboat Captain if you see any of your additions that I missed coloring, sorry, and please reinsert them. Oh, and I redacted the gAME pLACE phone number because I wasn't sure how kosher it was. If anyone wants to throw it in go right on ahead. --[[User:RTBHBX|RTBHBX]] 21:25, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:* Added a thing here or there, I was working on transcribing it for the past few hours too, but ya beat me to it.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:48, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

And maybe it's just me, but when Matthew says his own name at the beggining, it soulds like Nobles, with an "s". Confirm/deny? Anybody actually know him (how'd we get this in the first place)? --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:52, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

==File format==
Could someone with a converter link to an mp3 version of the file? None of the media players on my computer support .ogg files. [[User:Ganondorfdude11|Ganondorfdude11]] 19:47, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

*Use VLC, dude.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:48, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

== Best Buy/Bank incident ==

Do we know more about this bank incident? Sounds to me like Chris probably got caught up in some sort of scam and blamed the DAMN DIRTY TROLLS for it. [[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 22:09, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Considering how stupid and naive Chris is, I wouldn't put it past him. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:26, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:So, either trolls deliberatley going after him, some usual credit card fraud that happened to happen to Chris, or Chris lying out his ass to try to cover himself. Either way, Matthew is a master of Zen for speaking with a straight voice after that paragraph.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:47, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:I doubt it's as much "credit card fraud" as Chris-chan [[Chris and money|being his own spend-spreeing self]]. Bob got a wind of his statement, and Chris did the first thing that came to his mind: blame someone else. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 23:09, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

==Follow up call?==
I totally think somebody should phone them up again pretending to be the owner of the GAMe PLACe this time, following on from this comment from Bob:

''"Now, if you would like to have me talk to your owner I would be glad to- and my wife would be glad to go to a meeting with him about your place and how it's corrupting the whole neighborhood!"''

It'd be nice to hear some more conspiratorial shit from Boblax about how the GAMe PLACe is "corrupting the whole neighborhood!", and we know that they are chomping at the bit to talk to the owner. Just a though...-[[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 22:17, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

*"It's all a plot by the GAMe PLACe in league with the Greene County School District to persecute our son for being autistic. The Jews and gays are sent by them to harass Christian just for being the understanding, God-fearing, well-adjusted, mature young man we raised him to be. There's also some connection to the hispanics and blacks to keep him from getting a job and taking away all the white women keeping him from his true love."--[[User:PhilRaptor|PhilRaptor]] 23:29, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

==You do realize...==
That Matthew sounds just like Alec Benson Leary right? Coincidence? I think not. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:50, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Apparently we don't like to disclose identities of trolls, but I think "ALB" of the calls, the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] cameraman, and the Mr. Hyde of [[Magical Man Potion]] are the same person. Probably a Charlottesville FA. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 23:07, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
::I thought the same thing when he started talking. This is the most interesting thing to happen in months, hopefully we can find out about the credit card business and all of that. --[[User:Straw|Straw]] 23:28, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Tagged Flipnote

2010-06-28T06:38:50Z

PhilRaptor:

How is this any different than [[Cheesy!]]? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 01:39, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*[[Abejita]] is uploading it [[User:Shiny|Shiny]] 01:39, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
**Oh, you changed the video. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:01, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
***Man, he is just churning these things out. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:36, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
****Must be because it's his only portal to the internet Rocky isn't monitoring (besides PSN). What was he thinking flipping it sideways? I know it wouldn't matter since you could just flip the DS, but still, there's no apparent reason for it. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:56, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*****A couple of DS and DSI download games require you to turn the machine sideways. It's not common but it happens often enough for me to expect Chris to be aware of it.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:00, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
Ya know, it's sorta against Flipnote Hatena's policy to post a statement such as "I make women feel good." He could get banned for that. *hint hint*--[[User:Whoopwoo|Whoopwoo]] 05:16, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*He may have mentioned making women feel good, but he never said anything about that being sexual. I think it would be better if we called him out on not saying that he is straight. --[[User:PhilRaptor|PhilRaptor]] 06:38, 28 June 2010 (UTC)

Talk:6 June 2010

2010-06-11T08:17:20Z

PhilRaptor: /* He mentioned two trolls to the officers */

Fool that I am, I think I might actually transcribe this... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 03:31, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
*I will take the second half of DIS BITCH. This is an urge I cannot control. Also what the fuck Chris is fucking stalking Snyder now goddammit.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:58, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Sorry, I finished it up before I saw your update. I sincerely apologize if you listened to any of this shit unecessarily. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 04:06, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::*You did a good job! I did do some transcribing before I realized you had finished it, but honestly I needed the practice anyway.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:03, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

== To do ==

Add Michael Synder's comment from YouTube that sparked this (see Da update for it). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:32, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
* Done. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 04:29, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

== Rename dis bitch ==
If a video does not have a proper name, you name it after the date it went up. This should be "6 June 2010". What is so goddamn hard about this?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:00, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
*Whathisname usually figures out how to treat shit, that's why I named it that. That's why. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:02, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Now that I know Champ made the page, I feel bad about my first comment.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:03, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::*You are forgiven, my son. Happens to the best of us.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:21, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

==I'LL RUN YOU OVER DEAD==

This is the second time that we know of that Chris has tried to commit vehicular homicide. I get the feeling that at this rate, he's going to get himself <s>v@</s> V& by the end of the year. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 07:40, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Chris is going to be vat'd, huh? -[[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 10:00, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::*Probably. They need to do ''something'' to get the stank out of him. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 10:44, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*Still - this is only one version of the events. For all we know he could be exaggerating the entire situation - but I like to think we get the TRUE and HONEST version of events sometimes. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 12:23, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

==Add to relevant article?==
"Right, if I had the right mind, I would send, I would give him a charge of verbal, serve him a charge of verbal harassment!"
This right after he tried to take a picture of some guy to use as a dartboard, drove (presumably) drunk, took pictures without the person's consent, nearly ran two people over, and then thought he could bitch about it on the internet. Is this Chris and Law or Chris and Reality? [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 14:56, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

The key theme here is that it's innocent behavior when Chris does it. I suggest Chris and Hypocrisy or Examples of Chris's Ego.
[[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 15:01, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
Although this definitely merits mention on Chris and the Law as well, as prime evidence of his mentality that the law is not meant for punishing him in any circumstance. [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 15:04, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
*Not to mention Death Threats.--[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 11:25, 7 June 2010 (EST)

==Stalking==

According to Wikipedia, which is always right, "[s]talking can be defined as the willful and repeated following, watching, and / or harassing of another person." Chris has been banned from the The GAMe PLACe. He's gone back repeatedly, each time being told to leave and never come back. He admitted to planning to go willfully back this time in order to watch and photograph Michael Snyder. It's not necessarily a crime, but it does seem to constitute stalking by a reasonable definition. I just think it should be noted that it's not just troll puffery to call it that. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 16:54, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Considering Chris's history of holding grudges against people he considers "enemies", him stalking people "offending" him is not out of the question. --[[User:DrunkenDemomang|DrunkenDemomang]] 04:06, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==Snyder's input==

Any chance we can get a hold of Mike and get his side of the story? He might appreciate it too if we got that and put it up here so everyone and his grandmother doesn't call and ask him. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 17:07, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:I sent him a message on Youtube, if I get a response (unlikely) I'll screencap it and add it to the article. If anyone knows a more direct way to contact him, it would be great to get the whole story from him.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 19:40, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::Perhaps Mimms or Lucas would know a way of getting ahold of him. Of course, you'd need to get ahold of Mimms or Lucas first, but that would seem to be an easier feat considering their past cooperation with certain websites. --[[User:shearod|shearod]] 22:36, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::I'm in the process of asking Mimms if he knows anything about this. I'll post what I find. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 23:13, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*Mimms doesn't know, but he said he can ask Michael. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 02:12, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==At the bar with a Bud and a DS==

I was re-reading the transcript of the video when these little things starting nagging me; who goes in a bar with a DS and why it sounds oh-so-familliar coming from Chris? Then, I had an insight; is there a possibility that Chris found in bars a new prowling ground for his "Love-Quest"? He had the same attitude at the local McCrap and Target but without the alcohol.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:11, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Maybe he's taking his parent's approach of meeting da ladies. After all, Barb and Bob met at a bar. -[[User:DrunkenDemomang|DrunkenDemomang]] 16:25, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::Maybe he'll finally meet his sweetheart at the same age as Bob, when both parties out out of their prime and desperate enough. Of course, it would take a ''really'' desperate girl to get with Chris. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 20:29, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Don't be silly. Chris won't live anywhere near as long as Bob has so far. I predict he'll die of a heart attack in his mid fifties. Maybe forties. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:41, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::::I'm also guessing 40. He eats fast food every day and he does nothing but sit on his ass. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:17, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::That's not true. Sometimes he stands up to play Guitar Hero and threaten the internet. -[[User:Schismtracer|Schismtracer]] 15:29, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==Made up at the spot?==
Does anyone else think Chris's story sounds like it was made up at the spot at some parts? --[[User:Shotaru|Shotaru]] 23:27, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:Chris is a pathological liar, so I wouldn't put it past him. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:34, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:I doubt it. We have that post from June 4th by someone claiming to be Snyder saying Chris was taking pictures of him. Although I doubt Chris's testimony about what happaned especially after Micheal came out of the Game Place its right there his voice gets higher to the point where I can tell he is lying.
::Lucas and Mimms said that TheRcholic is indeed Mike way back when [[100 2178]] was uploaded. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 02:05, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:::I think most of what he's saying here is true, or at least the general concept. That said, if I had a daughter, and I saw someone like Chris hanging around with a camera, you had better believe I would assume the worst.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:27, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:Chris is a bad liar. There's way too much details. He was drinking ONE beer at a local bar with his DS and a camera for ONE hour. Then, he decided ON THE SPOT to go take a picture of Michael for an inexistent dartboard? My bullshit detector was on the red right passed time 1:34. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:03, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Well then, mine broke. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 03:13, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==Robotnik==

I haven't played any Sonic games since ''Sonic & Knuckles'', but, by Chris's own admission, pretty much what happened is that he was sneaking around doing something he shouldn't, jumped into a machine to try to beat the good guy, and ultimately failed. Not to mention that his torso is really fat and round and his limbs are really skinny. It just seems to me that Chris is getting more and more like Dr. Robotnik as time goes on. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 07:34, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
*So he'll say "I'MMMMMMM STRAIIIIIIGHT YOU TROLLLLLSSSS!" every time we win? Awesome.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 08:57, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:: Yeah, kinda like that. And eventually he'll get fed up of going after <s>Sonic</s> the trolls by himself and build two humorously incompetent robot henchmen. Except by "building," I mean "inflating," and the robots are actually his blow-up dolls Kimmi and Officer Nasty.

:: Hey, Clyde's hair is even spiky. Just dye it blue and you have an instant hero. Maybe Liquid can be Tails or something, I dunno. It would be just like AoStH, except "Robotnik" has no wacky schemes, isn't really actively pursuing destroying the hero, and has a fucking terrible singing voice. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 09:37, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

:::As opposed to the real Robotnik, who sings like an Angel. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:33, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

::::A lot like [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvyvwoi6mrw Long John Baldry], actually. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 01:15, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

:::Make it so, number two. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 16:38, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

::::Ta-da.
[[Image:Dr Chris Chan.png|left|150px]][[Image:Sonic Clyde Cash.jpg|center|200px]]--[[User:Yoyoddd|Yoyoddd]] 10:19, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

Put these images in the fanart section immediatly! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:15, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

I wish Chris was still taking fanmail. Maybe an innocent seven-year-old fan would mail it claiming Chris reminded him of Robotnik or something. I'm sure that would put him in a minor fit. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 21:11, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

==Police Report==
There must be one. I don't know any free service to get the record, but if anyone does, toss it up. Alternatively, if someone is willing to use a pay service to get at it, it might make somebody here love you. Not me though. --[[User:Homeless prophet|Homeless prophet]] 17:46, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
* Keep an eye on [http://www.criminalsearches.com/details.aspx?id=w1x00xC8&vw=criminal&1=IgL6lgJ0ciJdZHqNItwC9IIt79kNs2z0bXy0js2l1aI%3d&input=name this page]. It has Chris's other crimes, so it may be updated later. [[User:HermanoBluth|HermanoBluth]] 19:58, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
::Thanks Bluth, I'll be watching that. But there should be a document written by a police officer that details the entire incident from the perspective of that officer. I think that might do a lot to give a clear image of what happened, since all we've got is a few words from Michael (who didn't give much detail, and may not be totally correct) and a video from Chris (who is pretty okay with lying, and regardless is a poor communicator). The records are sorted by place and time, not name, but should be pretty trackable. The only issue is that I think you need access to a paid database to collect the record if you're outside the jurisdiction. I'm not 100% sure though, since I've never gone looking for one. If somebody knows how to find the record, that would probably make the entire situation ''much'' clearer. --[[User:Homeless prophet|Homeless prophet]] 17:03, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

==Am I the only one that noticed this?==
I noticed the absence of not only the medallion but also the amnyfest ring. Usually this means that this isnt TRUE and HONEST content, right? Or is there some other mitigating circumstance? I am not going to edit the article to highlight this as I doubt that no one hasnt noticed these things missing. I am just interested on you guys' take on this. Thoughts? [[User:Wozblod|Wozblod]] 20:59, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Good eye! I missed this detail.--[[User:DrunkenDemomang|DrunkenDemomang]] 21:30, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
::*Neither have the past two videos before this. Either that means the past two videos (effectively both internet rage quits, and we can see how honest those were) were all lies, or it's part of his newer, more-"mature" (if you can call it that) image, what with the less retarded clothing. I think the latter is more likely, although the former would make sense. I just doubt Chris actually plans things like that. And given his frequent tendency of lying, he'd probably label blatant lies as True and Honest anyway. --[[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 04:10, 9 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*I think someone in the YASG briefed him on the cock-blocking power of the medallion. So, in the effort of cosplay Marco Polo, he removed the piece of clay and replaced it by his own brand of "Trailer Chic". [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:10, 10 June 2010 (UTC)
== A Warning...Really? ==

Did the cops seriously let Chris off with a warning? Were they not informed beforehand about his previous troubles with Chris? I was absolutely furious to hear that Chris was let off the hook again. --SpaceScreaminJohn 00:49, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

He's got three priors so the police know him. And they what we know; he's too weak to cause people real harm. Still, he's dangerous behind the wheel. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 00:56, 9 June 2010 (UTC)
*Those three priors were five years ago. Plus, anyone who sees Chris can tell that he has some sort of mental problem--Wes always thought he had Downs, for example. If Bob and Barb are any indication, Charlottesville is surrounded by lawsuit happy rednecks and the cop wouldn't have a chance in court--and even then such a scandal would ruin their career, they'd always be "that monster who busted a poor retarded guy". Really, the warning was the best thing they could do. If Chris winds up doing something stupid again this year, they'll probably come down on him a bit harder.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:18, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

== He mentioned two trolls to the officers ==

Which two get the honor, I Say Clyde and tito

Does he realize how crazy he must sound if the police have no idea what a "troll" is? You take away the internet meaning, and he sounds like some paranoid retard who thinks some imaginary creatures are out to get him via the web.--[[User:PhilRaptor|PhilRaptor]] 08:17, 11 June 2010 (UTC)

== Has Chris crossed the line? ==
If he's really tried to kill Michael, is it possible this has stopped being funny and started being scary?
-Sarge 13:33 10 June 2010.
* God damn, guys, stop being so melodramatic. This shit isn't scary, and no matter what he does, he will never achieve an action which is scary. You guys need to get off the internet more. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 12:37, 10 June 2010 (UTC)
* He tried to hit someone with a car.
:*Sign your posts guys. It's just 4 ~ in a row, not that hard. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 15:17, 10 June 2010 (UTC)
* Chris is a first-class pussy. I think he tried to do so but became skittish at the last second. I still think he might hit someone on a 'Tard-Rage moment but this wasn't the case. As far as I can say, Chris's stalking habits raised many red flags even before I have heard that he owns a car. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:13, 10 June 2010 (UTC)

=="Fiddle" the cats==

Just for the articles sake can we find where the rumor started that seems to be getting Manchild a bit annoyed? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]