CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Song of Christian

2010-10-11T22:25:23Z

Pitifuladultlife: /* The F in English */

He kind of sounds like Conker from Conker's Bad Fur Day.~[[User:gourmetpickle]]
* Oh god, you're right! Can't unhear. --[[User:Lime|Lime]] ([[User_talk:Lime|Scold?]] | [[Special:Contributions/Lime|Undo?]]) 00:30, 14 March 2009 (CET)

==The F in English==
There's some confusion over what F Chris is referring to. Some believe that he got an F for this video (though how could he get an F for a video where he's complaining about getting an F for?) but based on the fact that (after listening to it again), he talks about how he started out with an A and the teacher kept going "lower and lower" with his grade, it seems to suggest that Chris is complaining about his cumulative grade in English and thought he'd throw in his bitching at the end since his English teacher would have to see it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:06, 3 October 2009 (CEST)

I think it's just referring to the poetry assignment. It might be his arrogance to assume that the assignment was worth an A, and then in the teacher's evaluation of it, she lowered that deserved grade all the way to an F. It being the cumulative grade in English does make sense, but if Song of Christian 2 was also made in mid-May, it would be too early to get a final grade. Although it's possible that he found out via an early warning notice or something.

I also find it unlikely that this video was for the class. I just always thought of it as him playing around with his camera, talking about various things relevant to him. However, if it were for class, it would most likely be only the first video; the second one only talks about the poem kind of as an afterthought. He makes reference to presumably his English teacher, with a name that is unclear, but starts with a B. In any event, it's different from the name (if it were a name) he said in the 'indecipherable mutter' soon before the reading of the poem. [[User:Pitifuladultlife|Pitifuladultlife]] 15:25, 11 October 2010 (PDT)

=="I talk well"==
Transcribing is a son of a bitch when this guy shoots out something three words in advance, and has to backtrack.
''And anyway, say, uh, sh-should, uh, or should I say this old-fashioned ah...'' He's a fuckin' dyslexic Foghorn Leghorn! Chris also uses language to infer that his audience should already know all about him. I'm assuming that in these ''pre-internet'' days he would ''blab'' incessantly about himself to kids and teachers.

The mumble after the poem's introduction sounds like "Here it is, Miss Snow[?]". Perhaps grudgingly addressing a teacher under his breath? [[User:Mall Conductor Bear|Mall Conductor Bear]] 06:59, 17 May 2009 (CEST)

== I wonder who this video was made for? ==

I wonder who this video was made for? It wayyy predates Chris's YouTube adventures, and he can't possibly have thought of creating this sort of self-promotional DVDs at that time. It's pretty clear why he included it on the DVD (since the idea was probably to cram in every piece of video featuring him, ever), but who did he, ''at the time it was filmed,'' think this video was made for? Did he just pick up a camera and think "I shall create 'The Christian Chandler Show' in my image"? If he just wanted to rant about the poem not getting enough respect, why film it? ...just a few questions that probably never get really good answers. --[[User:Wwwwolf|Wwwwolf]] 16:47, 7 June 2009 (CEST)
*I think the standard interpretation is that this was made for a class project, though it's possible he made it for himself. However, the fact he asks people not to laugh, that he addresses his English teacher, etc. seems to suggest that it was for his class. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:03, 3 October 2009 (CEST)

== Transcribed the second video. ==

Now I'm going to go stick my dick in the toaster. It will be less painful than trying to figure out what this fat fuck was saying... [[User:AnalCactus|AnalCactus]] 01:25, 28 July 2009 (CEST)
:Good luck, there's a lot of stuff in the second video that I've been wondering about, particularly some of the things he says while raging on his English teacher--[[User:Megaman|''Super Fighting Robot Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 01:26, 28 July 2009 (CEST)

== Tone ==

Why do you think that his voice sounds so far removed from his typical nasal monotone? Was it just that he had more energy at 16 (because he wasn't such a lazy fattie)? Less emotional baggage from all the crap that happened to him after high school? [[User:Semicolon|Semicolon]] 02:12, 18 August 2009 (CEST)

== Plagiarism? ==

Call me uncultured(I'm from Kentucky so it's probably correct), but what poem did Chris steal from? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 03:08, 19 October 2009 (CEST)
* The poems are named right bellow the transcript of the "Song of Christian" in part 1. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 18:04, 20 October 2009 (CEST)

Song of Christian

2010-10-11T21:33:44Z

Pitifuladultlife:

[[Image:Song_of_christian_1_1-51.jpg|thumb|"I hear [[America]] singing as I sing of myself..."]]

'''''Song of Christian''''' was a poem that [[Chris]], at age sixteen, had to write for a class. He failed miserably. From a critical perspective, his poem is clichéd, has no form whatsoever, and exists solely to praise himself. Chris bases his poem partly on Walt Whitman's [[Wikipedia:Song of Myself|"Song of Myself"]]. Given that poem's [[Ego|masturbatory tone]] and [[Homos|homoerotic]] interludes (Whitman was openly gay), it's little wonder Chris found it so appealing.

He later made a video that showed him raging about the well-deserved F, which showed up on his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|documentary DVD]]. This time, he failed to do two things: [[Chris and camerawork|use proper lighting]]—video cameras didn't come with night-vision features in those days—and come up with something interesting to say before the camera was rolling. This is easily one of the most sleep-inducing videos he ever made. But don't rest too comfortably—there are some parts in it that ''will'' wake you up.

Compared with his voice today, at age sixteen, he embodied the dulcet tones of [[Wikipedia:James Earl Jones|James Earl Jones]] and shared the octave range of [[Wikipedia:Captain Beefheart|Captain Beefheart]]. What happened in between then and his [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]] is up for debate.

==The actual poem==

<blockquote><poem>“I hear America singing, as I sing of myself,
And you experience, as I experience.
The problems of yourself are my problems.
The youth and the young singing cries of happiness,
As you have sung the song of laughter.
At age six weeks, I sang this song of laughter
Then, at one and a half years of age, the Lord put the mute button on me.
Those are my parents' song. They pulled me through to talk again, at age seven.
I am now sixteen years old and good at talking enough to help me achieve...
New goals and Mario raceway records, and to finish my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]].
The magazine's songs, the ballad of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] on Game Boy.
The rudeness of the teenager's song,
The despicable mention of rude words and... [[Tobacky|D-R-U-G-S]].
I am not afraid to speak, despite the hazardous flukes in America's song.
My song that I sing, although I talk well,
My peer relationship is low, and my [[So Lonesome|loneliness]] is off the scale.”</poem></blockquote>

==Part 1==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Song of Christian Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eC4XNixKBq4}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 1998]]
| subject = Poetry
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Sonic_the_Hedgehog_Watch_%26_Win_Sweepstakes#Video|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]
| next = [[Song_of_Christian#Part_2|Song of Christian Part 2]]
}}
<center>Just showing off his [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]].</center>

===Transcript===

[''simulates blowing a trumpet, or the sound of a diseased rooster, to mark his arrival''] 

Welcome ladies, and gentlemen, to the Christian Chandler Show! 
Bringin' ya lots of laughs, and all that neat ol' stuff. Now, here he is, the host with the most: Christian Chandler!

<div>[''simulates the cheers of a crowd, stopping to take a breath halfway through, and reveals himself to the camera'']</div>

<div>Good evening friends, and welcome to the Christian Chandler Show. '''I''' am your host Christian Chandler.
Now, tonight, we are gonna talk about poetry. And uh, line—an', uh, behind the scenes of part of the lines—which got me inspired. An' I'm gonna express my feelings a little bit, so... please don't laugh. I feel—I'll feel embarrassed. Okay, anyway, my poem is called—entitled—"The Song of Christian". And I just did it last night, on May 14th, [[1998]].</div>

[''irritated undecipherable mutter''] Anyway, uh, I'm gonna do my poem, now, so, here goes:

<blockquote>“I hear America singing, as I sing of myself,
 And you experience, as I experience.
 The problems of yourself are my problems.
 The youth and the young singing cries of happiness,
 As you have sung the song of laughter.
 At age six weeks, I sang this song of laughter
 Then, at one and a half years of age, the Lord put the mute button on me.
 Those are my parents song. They pulled me through to talk again, at age seven.
 I am now sixteen years old and good at talking enough to help me achieve...
 New goals and Mario raceway records, and to finish my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine.
 The magazine's songs, the ballad of Sonic the Hedgehog on Game Boy.
 The rudeness of the teenager's song,
 The despicable mention of rude words and... D-R-U-G-S.
 I am not afraid to speak, despite the hazardous flukes in America's song.
 My song that I sing, although I talk well,
 My peer relationship is low, and my loneliness is off the scale.”</blockquote>

An' anyway that's my poem. 
Now, we gotta go behind the lines, and see how it all got inspired.

<div>Now the, uh, first line line "I hear America singing", and, uh, "sing of myself". I got those from the combination of the first line of, both, [[Wikipedia:Song of Myself|"Song of Myself"]] and—s I—s—I—[http://www.bartleby.com/142/91.html "I hear America singing"]. And the "experiencing" and (''"problems"?'') ... I made those up myself. And of course, ya know, the, ahh, youth. I'm talking about the young children, here. They start singing their cries of happiness when they are born. With their little 'giggles' and 'tee-hee-hees'. [''[[sigh]]''] That's just the sound of laughter. At age six weeks, I started... the sound of laughter which is my—when I start talking. Now, my first word was 'monkey', and here's how it happened. My mother and I went down to the Best Buy store in [[Charlottesville]] many, many years ago. ''Of course you know at age six weeks I was born in [[1982]]''. [''sigh''] Anyway, uh, my mother was carrying me in her arms, and she was shopping, when then all of a sudden I said "monkey"[''baby talk voice'']. An' there was a wo—uh, there was an old woman near by, and, uh, she suh—h—heard me and then came over and asked my mom, "''Was that your son?''", and my mom said, "''Yup, that was my son''". Ahh... she didn't say anything she was just shocked.</div> 

<div>An', anyway I, uh, went on—and—on with my mouth. That is until the age one-and-a-half... years... [''sigh''] The sad thing that happened... the Lord put the mute button on me. CLICK FLICK [''Light switch motion'']. That's when my ad—me—I'm representing my autism, there. The Lord clickin' the mute button. [sigh] An' anyway here's where my autism began. I'm gonna to be real truthful here. Uh, I had a babysitter, but, uh, she was kinda've mean [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]]. Anyway, ah, one day she was on her phone and, uh, I came up t—I came up to her, I came up with her, and said something and, uh, she was kinda angry at me, 'cause I interrupted her phone call, AND she locked me [[Chris's room|in a room fulla noth—n—fulla nothing but toys]], and, uh, she just locked me in there, and, uh, I was very lonely, so I just sat there and cried, and... uh that's how my [[autism]] began. Thanks to an evil babysitter.</div> 

<div>And then thanks to my parents—actually my ma did most of the work, but, uh, it was thanks to my parents. They got me talkin' again at age seven. An', anyway, here's how they—it happened. My mother, my mother, always took me down to the toy store, ahh, at least every weekend on...[''sigh''] to, uh, wa—l—look at the, to read the packages. Like, to say, for example, "Go-Bots." You remember those old goh—fashion Go-Bot toys? Well, anyway, with (Mario?) hands me the package is, and thepackageis [''All in one breath''] for me, and I read along with her. And, uh, well, we just read the, uhh, top name of the fi—name of the toy, and the name of the, uh, to—and the, uhhh, name of the... character that it represents. And, then, on an the—go to the flip side and see all the other characters, name all the other toys in the collection. And, ''of course'', we did the same for fu—the old-fashioned Transformers. Yes. [''Head confidently turns to look at items off-camera'']</div>

And, also, wit' mother an' I—and, also, sometimes, mother and I'd buy some Lego sets and build them together, like, for example... [''mumbles about getting his "stupid thing"''] Oh, yeah... Lllike, for example, this old, uh, bicycle (''pig?'') shop, here. Ah, you can tell this is an old-fashioned [[Lego]] set on account of this—the old-fashioned "LegoLand" on the corner. Anyway, ah, we always built something like this, but, uhh, since that... and, one time, we even built a nice racetrack. I don't still have my Lego tin, but, uh... I NAMED MY CAMERA NIBBLE(?).... [''sigh''] I don't think... that it's good to have. Uh, oh, well, anyway.

''Excuse me''.
[[Image:003-NPSon.jpg|thumb|right|The Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]]

Anyway, Mother and I always had fun together. But, then, at age five—age seven, my mouth blabbed, ah—I started blabbin' my mouth, again. Daarn that collar! [''Voice cracks''] And then, uh, the, ah, "Helping to achieve new records on Mario Raceway". You know I like the play video games. I mean, I have Nintendo 64 video games, the Super Nintendo games, Genesis, old-fashioned Nintendo, Game Boy, Game Gear, Sega CD, 32X, and I also got lotsa Tiger-brand LCD games. An', anyway, I was a video game p—person, and my favorite type of game were racing. So, um, one of my favorite Nintendo 64 games were—was Mario Kart 64. I'r, uh, I was already tryin' to beat my ghost on the, uh, Mario Raceway Time ''Trails'' mode. My best time—my best record is, as Mario, ah minute, twenty-one, and eighty-nine seconds. Me—uh... ''excuse me''... I mean a 1'21"89. Yeah, that's it. An', anyway, I always like to beat my records.

But then the, uh, Nin-ten-do Ma-ga-zine that's da'uh maga-zine you heard that was lost. There it is: my ''home-made'' [[Nintendo Power magazine]]. Actually, that's just the cover. [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm, ah, working on it]]... on the ''insides'', like a regular Nintendo Power magazine. When I'm done it should have a hundred-and-eight pages, including the front cover, and the back cover. Ah, right now I'm only on, uh, page 35. [''sigh''] I'll show you, ah, the pages that are inside it. We have your, uh, your, ah, type of contest that they're mentioning of the main article... that goes with the table of contents ''there''. [''sigh''] Then, we have the winners section. Now you seen the, uh, the two envelopes on this page? I actually created them on u—other envelo—on two envelopes myself an' kinda copied that from the envelopes onto ''here''. And, on this page, the three of those, I just kinda made up myself. That's, uh, ''Cruis'n USA'', ''Zelda'', and ''Yoshi's Story''. [''Christian exhales and ruffles through the pages'']. And we have the, uh, ''Power Charts''. Which is the Top Ten Nintendo 64, and Super Nintendo, and the Top Five Game Boy games. Of course, the Most Wanted, and some more letters, and I just a made up a letter about somebody winning the Zelda contest. Ya know, test the Zelda 64 game that is gonna come out later. WAAAY later, I—in fact, we don't even know—we're not exactly sure WHEN it's gonna come out. ''Darnedest thing is slippin' on me'' [Christian reassembles the magazine].

<div>An anyway, I had this dream a long time ago about [[Sonic]] on Game Boy, so that's what I based my magazine on.
'Course you can ''tell'' on the cover he's switched from Sega to Nintendo. SO, I started off by making my own Nintendo 64 game: Sonic 64. Isn't that a cool picture, or what? [''shoves crude drawings into the camera''] Alrigh', anyway, you got your castle over ''there''. Sonic and Tails. '''Scuse me a sec''...</div>

====Factual error====
Chris claims that his mother took him to a Best Buy in Charlottesville 6 weeks after his birth, placing the date around mid-April 1982. Best Buy wasn't even called Best Buy until a year later (At that point it was "Sound of Music"), and didn't open their first Virginia store until 1994.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Best_Buy#History</ref>

In addition, it is physically impossible for him to have spoken a word at 6 weeks old. Any doctor will attest to the fact that no infant's vocal chords are developed enough by that time to speak, and any psychologist will tell you that their Broca's Area is not anywhere near developed enough to understand words by this time.

==Part 2==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Song of Christian Part 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|G9qf5aYpjRg}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 1998]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, Artwork
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Song_of_Christian#Part_1|Song of Christian Part 1]]
| next = [[Mario_Kart_64_Lego_Raceway#Prototype|Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
}}
<center>[[Chris]] [[virgin with rage|rages]] between 7:38 and 10:05 if you want to skip all the shit no one cares about.</center>

===Transcript===
[''Chris mutters under his breath and fiddles with the papers.'']

Uh... this may even be a rumor, so you—my magazine is falling apart on me. I mean it's just ''paper clipped.'' So sue me. I'm still [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE|working on it]].

[''Continues looking through pages'']

Now, let me just find that page again... Well, they have the old castle, again, but now I got the special moves, the spin dash, pound the baw—pound the ground, spin, punch. There's that cool picture of Sonic co—in the co—in the corner. Isn't that cool, or what, huh? Three DI-mensional. That's what I call cool. Yeah....

[''Mumbling and looking through pages.'']

And, then, I have Sonic's friends that help. Of course, Tails (that flies), Knuckles (that punches and flies), and [[Bionic]], WELLLLL, you heard rumors about Bionic: he's that Sonic's brother I made up myself who's that very good basketball player and mechanic. Uh... I can tell you the background story on him. I could tell you about it... I'll just make it quick so I can tell you, anyway. Bionic was Sonic's older brother. Please note "older". Anyway, one day, when they were very young, they were playing a ca—playing the game of catch, Sonic accidentally threw the ball into the bushes. Bionic offered to get it, because he was closer to it. He went in the bushes, but, then, there was a—but there was a warp... p—portal there, and he got sucked into it. Sonic tried to get him out, but Sonic fell into it, went to a dimension of ba—abou—basketball. But then, uh... years later, Bionic found a way to es—found a portal to go back to Sonic and end up in Sonic's... new home in Knothole. And, uh... Sonic and Bionic lived together from then on. Anyway, he's a great mechanic too.

Anyway, I got some pictures here that, uh... shows how Sonic's friends help him... climbing along Knuckles, Tails flying, Sonic... and Bionic... breaking a lot—destroying a lot—breaking a lot of Dr. Robotnik's evil machines.

And, yet, of course, you know, my, uhh, Sonic on Game Boy originally was Sonic and Knuckles, but I decided to do something different in this magazine. Sonic and Knuckles ''Two''... I mean, a sequel, yeah... Anyway, you got your coverage there, and I put a little Dr. Robotnik in the corner saying, (''changes voice'') "I HATE SONIC! AND I HATE THAT ECHIDNA, TOO!".

[''Bends over to adjust paperclip that is holding his homemade Nintendo Power together, muttering.'']

Oh, dear, the paperclip is slipping. Darn that thing.

[''Comes back up'']

Yeah... and, of course, you know I've got my basic "coverages" about a file... selector, and another water zone, Knuckles—playing as Knuckles, and a... special stage. Cool, huh?

[''Turns page'']

And then I made up a Super Nintendo game. SUPER Sonic. Yeah it's a Super Nintendo game with all—with some of the Sonic games in one Super Nintendo cartridge. Hey, look, check this out, we got Sonic hanging ten on a Super Nintendo controller. YEAAAH! (''hums music'') Anyway, then I got some... coverage on the... Sonic, uh... with the... how you select the game you wanna play. And of course I got Sonic One picture there, and Sonic Three.

[''Flips through pages.'']

Oh, dear...

And then I have the uh... coverage on the games. I got Sonic 1, Sonic 2, Sonic 3, and Sonic and Knuckles in there... yeah, the original Sonic and Knuckles I'm talking about, not Sonic and Knuckles 2.

But, then, I made up another Nintendo 64 game. Uh... sort of interesting to teenagers. I call it BEAST WARS... [[Transformers]]. And except these aren't all about the missions; they're firece [''mispronunciation of fierce?'']. It's always the, uh, maximum critical in spite of each other (?). And I made somes—fantasize—suh that... it will be RumblePak compatible. And becau—and the uh... bots that I put in it... goes as follows. I got [[Optimus Prime|Optimus Primal]], and uh... Cheetor, Rattrap, Silverbolt, Dinobot, Megatron... Tarantulas, Waspinator, Quickstrike, and Inferno.

And then I, uh... before Soni- before I made the cover of Sonic, I made up a, uh... other Nintendo Power cover, which I made of... uh... you heard of Megaman XTC Nintendo? Well, that's what I did. Megaman XTC FOUR. Check that out. Cool picture. IT'S BACK. And then there's some coverage, uh... about some of the stuff about him in the... Sigma's return... Zero being captured, and... it's his armor. It's actually revived armor... The—from the original first—the first Megaman X game... except more powerful, because... (''mumbles'') oh, whatever...

Anyway, I got a bunch of bosses from the three Megaman X games and a couple of the classic Megaman games. I got Storm Eagle, Snake Man, Wheel Gator, Neon Tiger... [''mumbles "oh jeez" while flipping through pages'']... Gravity Beetle, Bubble Crab, Shadow Man... and, uh... why not Megaman X without the old... classic Megaman X boss... [''fumbles with pages, mumbling''] Oh, dear... these things are slipping on me.... Anyway, Chill Penguin. Yeah, that penguin is back, alright. I got each of these bosses, have a 3D battle song (?), and of course, now, I got coverage of Sigma's return. I got Robot's dogra form (?), then I made up a new dissent (?) for old Dr. Wiley, Dr. Wiley Jr. here, he's fighting Megaman in a robot MONKEY. Monkey... And then I got Sigma's return... and this is actually from that cover of Meg—that cover I made up. I mean, it's actually destroying Sigma, but this is from his view. It's actually from the opposite side... of the battlefield.

So right now I'm working on the classified information... begun with Sonic—parts of Sonic 1 and Sonic 2, and I just did Mario Kart 64. And for Nintendo Power... I'm tracing another copy. Yeah, you can tell it's another copy, because—lookit there. Sonic is a bit more, uh... chubbier there. You can tell the difference right there. All right, on, um... this tracing thing, I only got to page 60, it was the beginning of Super Sonic....

But, moving on... yeah... the rudeness of the teenagers song... of course, now—of course, you know I'm talking about those despicable rude words they got down in there... I mean... ah, you know, w-w-when they say those... sound like... "Oh, *beeeep*." And, uh... "Oh, *booop*", and "son of a *boop*".... You understand what I'm talking about? I mean, that just really ticks me off. And I hope this video's getting through to those tee—to those students in that English class of mine. I HOPE THEY GET IT THROUGH THEIR HEADS AND EV—AND GET IT THROUGH TO EVERYONE IN THAT SCHOOL, THAT THAT RUDE LANGUAGE IS CRUEL. I mean, you see it, and—you thinks it's cool to the adults, BUT YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER DO IT. I MEAN, IT'S JUST RUDE! VERY RUDE! I MEAN, I'M JUST SICK OF IT! I mean... [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|HNNNNGH]].

And then there's that other thing... the, uh... D-R-U-G-S. (''mimes smoking'') That just... that *puff puff* [[tobacky|thing]], that just clogs up my nose. *grunt* And that other thing.... (''mimes drinking alcohol and passing out'') Anyway, just MAKES ME SICK to see people just [[Sonichu|waste]] [[Little Big Planet|their]] [[Love Quest|lives]] [[Guitar Hero|away]] on [[alcohol|that]]. I mean, [[Chris and hypocrisy|it's DESPICABLE (''hits table''). DE-SPIC-A-BLE!]] Understand what I'm talking about? And, of course, I'm not afraid to speak about the hazardous flukes like [[Chris and copyright|the "American Song" how it goes]]... and, of course, that last line there.... The song I sing you and all my—talk about my peer relationships as well... I talk about the peer relationships in my neighborhood. I mean, I do not have that many peers in the neighborhood. All I have in my neighborhood is Damien, and I don't usually see him a lot, and a twelve year old boy named Michael, and he's uh... just a little kid.

Anyway, I'm just usually lonely at home. Don't have a second player to play with. I don't even have a little brother, and I'm s—still hoping for one. Anyway uh... I see by the clock that it's about time I sign off. But, uh... before I go, I have just one thing to say to, uh... the teacher: '''[[Chris and anger|AN F IN ENGLISH CLASS?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!]]''' I mean, an F! I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I GOT AN F... I MEAN, WHO KNOWS? IT COULD'VE BEEN BACK IN OLD GREENE COUNTY, THAT STUPID PLACE... YEESH. That Greene County Primary... actually that was a nice school, but then th—came the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Nathanael Greene Elementary]]. That's w—where I got the F. Anyway, then, many years rolled by... '''THEN YOU CAME ALONG AND GAVE ME AN F. I MEAN I STARTED OFF WITH AN A AND YOU JUST LOWERED AND LOWERED AND LOWERED IT! I'M GETTING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS LOWERING THING. WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST AUT—[[Slow-in-the-minds|AGAINST THE HANDICAPPED CHILDREN]], ANYWAY?! I MEAN, I KNOW MY HANDICAP IS [[Kick the Autistic|AUTISM]], AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT! AND YOU, MRS. ''[unclear]'', I THINK THAT F IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL! I MEAN, [[Chris and his Ego|I AM VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT]].'''

[''stress sigh'']

Anyway, it's time I sign off. Well, this has been the Christian Chandler Show, and we hope you all enjoyed it. And, as we say in the land of TV Land... goodnight, folks!

[''covers camera with hand and "sings" theme song'']

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Fight Against a Somewhat Autistic Monster
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1EJspy_pafE}}
| Stardate = 26 September 2010
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]|nextlink=[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]|}}
{{Writings}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Poetry]]

CWC's Second Message

2010-09-06T21:10:06Z

Pitifuladultlife:

After months of trying to either ignore or edit the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, [[Chris]] explodes with fury in this video. He blames ED for causing his falling-out with [[Megan]], although anyone with a brainstem could tell that had occurred months before ED had ever heard of him.

Chris also begins threatening to withhold the release of [[Sonichu 7]] and all further comics unless the ED page is removed. Naturally, trolls were terrified that they would never see the conclusion to the absorbing story that Chris had created, and rushed to meet his demands. Oh, wait. No, they didn't. That was a [[lie]]. But can you imagine?

This is a beloved classic in the CWC canon, and it was in this video that Chris coined the term "[[pedofork]]."

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC's Second Message
| image = {{#ev:youtube|1XmuUP8Z7r4}}
| Stardate = 03 [[August 2008]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Homos|text}}, {{Comics|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| Saga = {{ED|text}}
| Shirt = {{RedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Chris_Chan's_Public_Announcement#Watch|Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]
| next = [[Attention_All_Sonichu_Fans_(NOT_HATERS)#Watch|Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]
}}

{{quote|I am not a [[pedofork]], you dorks!}}

===Transcript===

''Citizens of the [[Internet]]'': I present an open message to each and every one of you.

[[Chris and his ego|Y'all should know me by now]], but, if you don't, I am [[Christian Weston Chandler]], ''the'' original creator of [[Sonichu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], back on March 17th, [[2000]]. Any dates earlier are void. I present this open message because I have a whole bunch of people on the Internet [''removes [[glasses]] dramatically''] give me hate…—show me a lot of hate... and I do not appreciate it. Ticks me off.

You think you can just… hate me just to get a laugh out of yourself. Think about it. You're laughing at somebody else's pain and torture, because I am lonesome, still trying to find a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] and to make into a [[sweetheart]]. Y'all think I'm just a sap, a chump, dumbass, whatever you may think. But you know what? You… ''you!'' Every last one of you, who has sh—expressed hate against me? ''You're'' the shitheads!

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|120px|Chris at age 70, if his cholesterol would allow him to live that long]]

Also, every last one of you who thinks that I am similar to that—of that senile old man in ''[[Family Guy]]''… ''you're'' the [[pedophiles]]. Every one of you who thinks I'm [[homo]] and calls me that—because I am not; I'm ''straight''! I'm ''straight''!—''you’re'' the homos! Every last one of you!

I could—I could take the whole time to express so much ''anger'' and frustration. I'm only nearsighted; I do wear glasses. [''replaces glasses on face''] Take it or leave it, losers! [''removes glasses dramatically (again)''] It m—it helps me see better… see more detail and more clear vision than any of you knuckleheads can put together out of your own ego that you so richly... [''begins awkwardly tapping PS3 controller''] consume of.

But… on a more serious note: learning recently of the false—or real—literature, with downloaded… ''copies'' of my comic pages and whatnot. It has been either distributed or created ''without'' my consent or approval. So... it ''is'' a fake... and if it ever is published, or if it ever shows profit, let it weigh on your consciousness throughout your eternal life… that you are torturing and—worse off—tearing the heart, and soul, and emotions of the innocent man. The out—the innocent—still 26-year-old [''slams arms down on chair’s arms''] ''virgin''. Not only that, but I have so many lonely nights and stress… that you can not just imagine it!

Now, as for the other serious note: of any new stuff officially made by me, under my own… hands… ''not'' by anybody else's, which are considered ''false''. I just have not been feeling the inspiration to draw—to color! Because the loneliness…—I cannot stand that. The hatred I'm getting from every last one of you who has contributed to that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] web page… and every other forum, Internet document, lewdly drawn pictures with… ''dicks''…—I love ''dykes!'' ''Dykes!'' ''[[China|CHINA]]!'' I'm ''straight!'' If I ever—if I see a dick, I just look away, with a moment of being freaked out! [''makes arm gesture for “you’re out”'']

[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|right|200px|"She has come for me"]]

''And'' e-mailing me pictures is not gonna get any of you any further conclusion to “Will [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] get out of [[Dark Mirror Hole|the mirror]]?”, “Will the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] be collected?”, “Will I ''ever'' find my [[sweetheart]]?” ''And'' am I—am I or [[Megan Schroeder]] still an item—” which by the way, she broke up with me so much long ti—so much long ago because the contributors to that ED page… you broke the emotional streng—strength between us. You promoted such twists and turns to everything I have said [''begins tapping PS3 controller against his hand to count the offenses''] and drawn and written and ''whatnot''… You broke up the best friendship, the best relationship, the ''closest'' I could ever have in this ''pitiful adult life!'' ''You'' did it! Every last one of you! If I could blame myself, I would definitely blame myself for drawing [[Rule 34|those ''five'' pictures]]! Those five drawings! And, by the way, that is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; [''covers eyes with one hand momentarily''] that is ''Megan!'' And just for—and just for—for taking it up—and twisting it around and such!

Think about it. ''Think about it!'' Weigh it on your conscience! Because nothing—no more official Sonichu art or work may—or may not—ever emerge… depending on the amount of hate that is decreased! That web page: ''taken off the Internet''! I wish I'd never found that piece of ''shit'' in the first place, back on that Halloween of [[2007|’07]], somewhere around there. And promoting the hatred, and… drawing such loose—such ''lucrid'' mockeries is ''not'' gonna further the story plot or have anything new created, or even gonna help in any way… as I am telling you this, right into my [[PSEye|PlayStation Eye]]!

[''sighs deeply''] If I ever do find the one that is to be my sweetheart, I will give her such care, such tenderness, such love… we get around to the [[Chris and sex|hanky-panky]], that's fine, that's good… we get married. I will have my God-create—my [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]! She will be taken care of… lovingly. Those of you mock me otherwise, with such ''frivolous, lucrid adultery''… if I ever hear another—any more new stuff, it will weigh on your conscience, with me ''tearing at your souls''… emotionally! Let ''that'' weigh on your conscience, for those of you who have already done so or are thinking about doing it!

I am not a ''[[pedofork]]'', you ''dorks''!

[''sighs''] I tell ya… so much anger, so much stress… it's hard to see straight. Let that, the result of all that you have contributed against me, weigh heavily like a 10,000-pound anvil! "Sixteen tons, whadd'ya get? Another day older and deeper in debt!" [''pronounces the b in “debt”'']

[[Chris and religion|If I was not a baptized man]] over at the [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Methodist church]] by the [[University of Virginia]], I'd tell every last one of you that contributed to the hatred and downpour, "Go to hell." But I can—but I would not even weigh that upon my worst enemy, because that—because [[Twin Falling Towers|I am more kind than ya think]]. Y'all just do not see that; y'all just twist my words around. [''clears throat''] I do not wish to see any more hatrey or adult mockery, and I want that Encyclopedia Dramatica page taken down forever! It will weigh heavily on your conscience each day that it is ''still'' up there.

[''replaces glasses on face''] I leave you with any other thoughts that you ''may'' have. But if you ''dare'' twist ''these'' words around, that will weigh ''worse'' on your conscience. The words that ''I'' provide from sound mind and ''heart''… it will weigh heavily on you.

It will weigh ''heavily'' on you.

== Fan videos ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Metal Love Solid: Portable Jerkops
| video = {{#ev:youtube|p03W5ElzdGI}}
| Stardate = 6 August 2008
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Creator of the Internet
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hxN_TCywHPg}}
| Stardate = 15 September 2008
| Maker = Jawsusfreak777
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sgt. Autism.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jeSovLPzVFA}}
| Stardate = 22 September 2008
| Maker = xjrlol
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan's Message To CHINA!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5vPj14MDJVE}}
| Stardate = 14 January 2009
| Maker = CWCLovesPickles
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Vanilla Chris - "Dykes Dykes China"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Br-yK7nbHuk}}
| Stardate = 14 March 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Christian Chandler (CWC) Presents: A Music Remix from [[Kacey|my New Gal-Pal]].
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1CHjLvHSe3Q}}
| Stardate = 5 June 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Ringo Chris - "Christian Chandler: Lonesome Heart Soul Man (Reprise)"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|L79PdhpQKr8}}
| Stardate = 8 September 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]|nextlink=[[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2008-08-03]]

Mumble 7

2010-07-28T00:55:24Z

Pitifuladultlife: That wasn't the national anthem he was singing

'''Mumble 7''' is the seventh of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 13th February 2009. Appears to be the genesis for the videos [[fail|proving]] Chris's [[I AM STRONG|strength]] and [[Obesity|fighting]] [[Challenge For Clyde|skill]], though these would not materialize for several months.

==Summary==

* A fan talks to Chris about putting naked posters of girls and pictures of men up in his room up to find out if his friend was a [[homo]] as Chris suggested. He tells Chris that his girlfriend dumped him over the posters and his friend ignored all of them. Chris sees nothing wrong with his advice until Julie tells him that she wouldn't like that. Chris recommends sending an anonymous letter explaining the situation and utterly fails to apologize or show concern.
* Fans point out that Chris shouldn't have to show and prove that he is straight.
* Chris cuts a fan off to let Julie ask a question involving [[pedofork|shota]].
* Fans ask Chris to turn his radio down.
* Chris uses Wal-Mart printer paper & RSVP ballpoint pen to draw, and a 50-pack of Crayola markers to color. Refuses to use color pencils or Photoshop to color, saying he prefers the markers.
* Chris talks about Omicron's redone version of [[Sonichu]], accusing him of plagiarism. Says that the difference between what Omicron is doing and what he is doing is that Sonichu is his. Agrees to let Omicron continue if he credits Chris with the copyright.
* '''Julie is convincing Chris to make videos proving to Clyde how strong he is.''' Chris feels that the [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|dildo breaking video]] proved this. Fans say that Chris's dildo comes apart naturally for cleaning.
* '''A fan recommends making a video showing off his fighting moves to scare Clyde.'''
* Chris is asked why he would use a dildo in proving that he is straight. Chris says that he is straight for crushing it, fans call him a [[homo]] for keeping it.
* Chris [[lie|denies]] [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|using the dildo]], and claims that it's now broken. Fan says it could easily be reassembled. Chris is adamant that it was glued and that it took a lot of strength to pull it apart.
* When asked by Julie, '''Chris admits using super-shears from Cutco to break the dildo glue, claiming to use a lot of strength in the process'''.
* Fans discuss [[SheCameForCWC.jpg]]. Chris insists that it was drawn in protest of [[ED]]. He says it was anonymous, as [[fail|most women have long brown hair and her eyes were censored]].
* Insists that [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:AngelicainGod%27sEyes.JPG the Rule 34 of Angelica Rosechu] is masturbating and enjoying it, and is using her hand to do it.
* Chris thinks Billy Mays is on Home Improvement.
* Chris isn't doing anything on Valentine's Day, as Julie is not there yet.
* Chris discusses the the No-Redheads policy in his [[Love Quest]]. Says that redheads don't attract him unless they are not natural redheads. No piercings or tattoos allowed.
* Chris is OK with blue hair.
* Does a terrible Marge Simpson impersonation.
* Chris impersonates Comic Book Guy and Donald Duck.
* A fan presents the possibility that AIDS was sent by God to kill the [[homos]].
* [[Chris and Religion|Premarital sex being forbidden in Christianity]] is discussed. Chris fumbles for an explanation.
* '''A fan pretending to be black says he believes the government made AIDS to get rid of black people. Chris says that that's the kind of thing a black guy would say'''.
* Premarital sex comes up again. Chris compares it to using porn to practice and learn skills for later.
* The fake black fan calls Chris on his comment from earlier about black guys and AIDS. He makes the excuse that someone else said it first.
* Questions on Sonichu start. Sonichu doesn't wear clothes because it's a comic. Chris isn't sure how [[Blake]] sounds. He might sound black, he might sound like Shadow the Hedgehog.
* The fake black fan asks why the bad guy has to be black, also mentioning [[Silvana]]. Chris says that he doesn't have to be.
* Chris gets annoyed about the pronunciation of [[Rosechu]] as popularized by the Old Narrator of the [[Audiobooks]].
* '''Chris doesn't disagree that the [[Audiobooks]] made Sonichu more popular that he ever did'''.
* He doesn't mind [[Fan:Index|fan-fics]] that don't portray Sonichu in a bad light.
* The audio goes low in the main chat and a fan has a private, unrelated conversation for a few minutes.
* Audio comes back as Chris is admitting that the [[B-Manajerk]] was black in real life.
* Chris doesn't watch the news, so doesn't have an opinion on [[Barack Obama|Obama]]. He voted for him because he saw a documentary where he saw more of himself in Obama, namely that he was an outcast at one point.
* A fan says that you should vote based on politics, not personality. Chris says that he is a moderate.
* Chris doesn't know what the financial bailout is. He says that he drew the [[Sonichu 8#The Elevator Gags|racist picture]] of Obama based on his father's joke, before he saw the documentaries that made him vote.
* Chris will not agree or disagree with interracial dating/marriage. He would want a white woman, but he would be [[gal pals|friends]] with others.
* He'd marry an Asian.
* It's not yet known if Silvana will be a good guy or if she will lose her [[pickle|dick]].
* '''Chris doesn't know what he wanted to be when he was younger, he's just making it up as he goes along'''.
* '''Chris is keeping the name changes in the comics for legal reasons'''.
* A fan suggests Slaweel cursing Rosechu to have a dick. Chris gets upset before saying that he'll think about it. The fans think it's a great idea. One considers a talking penis for Rosechu. Chris says it's a stupid idea.
* Another fan asks about Chris being sacked from Wendy's. He denies scaring the child with his Donald Duck impersonation, saying that he didn't make him cry.
* Chris might release his DVD one day.
* A fan says that Chris has influenced underground rappers such as Immortal Technique, who has sampled him.
* Chris takes requests. Impersonates MC Hammer, Dr Nick Riviera, Peter from [[Family Guy]], Mario and Sonic, butchering them all and tainting our childhood memories.
* More Sonichu questions. '''Chris won't upload [[Zapina]] [[Rule 34]] because she is underage and Chris is worried about legal ramifications'''. When he is reassured that this would be legal, he says he would consider it. He will also consider Sonichu-Rosechu anal sex. Rosechu would not clean the [[pickle]] with her mouth, she would clean it off with a washcloth. He would not sell the the washcloth on EBay.
* Chris calls a stop to the potty humor displayed throughout the Sonichu questions.
* '''Chris denies that [[Yawning Squirtle]] is a character'''.
* Fans ask for a joke. He recites a dreadful rhyme about Videogame consoles. He then tells his awful [[Christian's sex joke|sex joke]].
* Fans start to tell racist jokes about [[niggos|black people]] and Mexicans. Chris calls for a stop to this.
* A fan says that his friend [[mass debating|masturbated]] to the [[rule 34|adult section of Sonichu]] and is now worried that his friend is a [[homo]], as they were drawn by a man. '''Chris says that this is what he intended it for''', and they are drawings of women, so his friend is straight. He doesn't masturbate to his own drawings.
* Chris reassures a fan that [[Mass Debating|masturbating]] in the same room as another man isn't gay as long as both men are thinking of women, but he would not do this.
* Chris offers no comment as to what constitutes adultery.
* Chris says that he is patriotic. Asked to sing the national anthem, he instead mangles a few lines of "My Country, 'Tis of Thee". He then tells a 'patriotic' joke that is insensitive to Mexicans. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|The fans call him on his "no more racist jokes" statement from earlier]].
* Chris does a poor impersonation of Mr T.
* Chris says that if you are married, sleeping with someone else isn't cheating if you have consent from your spouse.
* Chris gives more advice on homos and recommends Axe body spray for attracting girls.
* Chris has not met any celebrities, only local DJs.
* Does impersonations of Homer Simpson and Bender. The two sound identical.
* Chris gives dating advice: Stay calm, polite, friendly and don't let your nerves get the best of you. Say "Hello, how are you" and talk about yourself. '''[[Barbara|His mom]] told him that standing around with a sign makes him look retarded. A female fan cracks up laughing and can't stop'''.
* "Those who can't, teach"
* Chris says he has never even been on a date. Rejects dating suggestions from fans.
* '''Chris was close with Sarah "[[PandaHalo]]" McKenzie, but hasn't heard from her in over two weeks. He heard about the fires and doesn't know if she's still alive. When a fan adds that 108 people were killed in the fires, Chris responds to the entire ordeal with [[Chris and death|"It's OK though, at least I have a good woman who's willing to be by my side at this point"]]'''.
* When pushed, he says he feels remorse for the the victims of the fires and is concerned that [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda]] is dead.
* He asserts that he didn't abandon Sarah for [[Julie]].
* '''A fan says that if [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] isn't alive, Chris should take solace that her perfectly barbecued remains fed the survivors. Chris replies with [[Chris and Anger|SHUT UP!!!]]'''
* Chris says that he cares about Sarah and Julie equally and wouldn't dump Julie as a friend. A fan asks what he will do to the survivors who ate Sarah. Chris replies with [[Chris and Anger|"SHUT UP!!!"]] and demands that he be booted.
* Fans reassure Chris that Sarah is probably OK.
* Chris does abominable impersonations of Uncle Ruckus from The Boondocks and Hank Hill. '''He sings "Don't Trust Them New [[Niggos|Niggas]] Over There"'''. He also impersonates Meowth and sings the Team Rocket song.
* [[Clyde]] enters. Chris refuses to answer questions and leaves.

==Transcript==
===Chris proves he is straight===
'''Guy:''' Chris! 
'''Chris:''' Hey y'all! ''[echoes]'' 
'''Guy:''' I'll be damned. 
'''Other Guy:''' Hey Chris. 
'''Chris:''' Hey y'all. 
'''Fan:''' Uh, Chris-[gets cut off by another guy] 
'''Chris:''' Uh you know, can't com- it's uh, can't complain. 
'''Other Guy:''' How's construction of the site? 
'''Fan:''' it is so Chris 
'''Chris:''' Yeah? 
'''Fan:''' Well I...I need to ask you something. 
'''Chris:''' Yup? 
'''Fan:''' Uh... I put those posters, of the... Playboy and everything in my room, and uh, one of my girlfriends saw it, and she got mad at me for looking at other w-... other girls, and she broke up with me. 
'''Chris:''' Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. It could- 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, she called me a pervert. I-I don't understand this. 
'''Chris:''' Did you... did you ex- did you try to explain to her about situation between you and that guy? 
'''Fan:''' I... I did, and I don't think she understood. 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm... well, you should try, you should, uh, s-... try, uh, you should try wr-, you should tr-, uh, do you know her email address? 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' So, uh- 
'''Fan:''' A-also, wait... also, uh, the friend, I was talking about, he, uh, lives with us, and [typing noises] he, uh, he went into my room, and didn't even notice the posters. He just s-sat in the middle, and he didn't s...see any uh, part of the room. 
'''Chris:''' Huh. Hmm. 
'''Fan:''' So, uh... so, yeah, I don't know. I mean, my girlfriend broke up with me, called me a pervert, said that I shouldn't be looking at other girls, I mean... I don't know what to do now. 
'''Chris:''' Well listen, uh, answer my question, do you have her email address? 
'''Fan:''' Umm... yeah, but she won't... she won't answer me anymore. 
'''Chris:''' Hm... ok, hmm. Here's what you can do, uh... Do you know your girlfriend's... any of your girlfriend's gal-pals? 
'''Fan:''' No. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm... well, you should try to.. like wr- you should write out... hmm... hmm... here's an idea. S- Write a letter to her and send it via smail mai-, via snail mail, but don't write the return address. On it. 
'''Fan:''' What should I write? 
'''Chris:''' Just like, you know, like, they, you know, this is... you know, this is... you, uh, you put your name there, and you, it's, and then you would basically explain the situation between you and that guy, and that's why you had the posters up, well that's why you put the posters up. 
'''Fan:''' I don't understand what was the point of the posters in the first place? 
'''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' it's... ''[sigh]'' if he looks at... if he, if he is very interested, if he is, if he was straight, he would uh, look at the women. Very much. 
'''Fan:''' But he didn't even notice them. He didn't notice any of the posters. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, I guess he is a homo. 
'''Fan:''' W...well, um, he wasn't looking at anything, not even the guy posters. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Hmm... He's not blind, surely. 
'''Fan:''' So, like, what is he, is he like, uh...I don't know. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I don't know either, man. But, you know at the moment I would suggest you, uh, write t- write the letter to your girlfriend, send the mail, don't write your return address on the envelope, and, uh, mail it to her. 
'''Fan:''' Also my mom saw the posters and she got offended, she's like really really just in- she said that uh, lust is a sin or some shit. Oh, like she said, she's like all against the, you know, Playboy in my room. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, apparently your mom hasn't been [beeps] didn't have that open minded that time. So, give her time to recover, she'll uh, she might, she might open up. 
'''Fan:'''Yeah, I don't think that was a good idea though, I mean, why did you suggest it? 
'''Chris:''' I was trying to see if he, I was trying to s-help you figure out if your uh, if your friend was a homo or not. 
'''Fan:''' I know, but, uh, do you have Playboy posters in your room? 
'''Chris:''' [unclear] I'm very forward. 
'''Chris:''' I have uh, poster of some, of uh, I have a poster in my room of uh, some uh, naked girls I got from adamandeve.com as a bonus. 
'''Fan:''' Then, nobody says anything about it? 
'''Chris:''' ''[clears throat]'' Well, I didn't really have too many oppor-, too many people in my room. So, it's kind of like in a hard to notice place. 
'''Fan:''' Um, wondering, um, If you showed anyone, wouldn't they be offended? 
'''Chris:''' Maybe, maybe not, it just depends on their point of view. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I wouldn't want the same thing that happened to me to happen to you. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I hear you there. Uh, just to so just sound clear... Julie? 
'''Julie:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' Julie, are you there? 
'''Julie:''' Yes. 
'''Chris:''' Ok, uh, would you be offended if you saw such a poster in my room? 
'''Julie:''' ''[breaks up]'' 
'''Chris:''' Uh, What will, what was that? 
'''Julie''' Yes I would, kind of. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Well that's no problem, I can take it down. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, see that's what I'm talking about, I mean... 
'''Chris:''' That's why I asked Julie right now, because I respect her. So, because she said that she would, I will take it down. 
'''Fan:''' Well, I've been thinking, um... 
'''Julie:''' Do you have... [unclear] Chris, I don't think you should look at other woman.[sic] In my opinion. 
'''Chris:''' I see, Julie. Well that's fine. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah.. 
'''Chris:''' I...I respect that. 
'''Fan:''' She might get jealous, I mean, that's what happened to my...my girlfriend. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, that's fine Julie, I respect you, I respect that. Just- 
'''Julie:''' Hey guys, do you have a question? If he's done? Uh- 
'''Fan:''' Oh, uh, one more thing, um, I've been thinking, uh, I don't really think you need, you know, posters and stuff like, to prove you're straight, I mean, if you're straight, that's all there is to it, am I right? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Julie:''' I think you're right. 
'''Fan:''' I...I mean, you shouldn't have to prove that you're straight. 
'''Julie:''' You're right. 
'''Other Guy:''' [line breaks temporarily] -You should not have to reassure us, though. You should just be knowing it, and nothing that anybody says, you get very, uh... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it's ve-ah-very-but you see, I have like, I have that [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] in my room, it's just, so that I can, uh, for in case I have any-for in case I have any random thoughts, on account really, to tempt me. 
''[unintelligible mix of chatter from most participants trying to get their word in]'' 
'''Other Guy:''' I-I mean, even if they're random thoughts, even if they're random thoughts, if you know you're ''positive'' about it, you shouldn't have to look at anything to make sure. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Chris, usually. 
'''Guy:''' Okay. Uh, moving on from all this homosexuality, uh, I have one question, uh, -[gets cut off by Chris in the background]- ...never mind, [fat douchebag?] 
'''Chris:''' Hey, ah, let Julie ask a question, let Julie ask her question. 

===7:08 Julie asks about shotacon===
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, I was watching you on the Internet yesterday and, what's a shotacon?[slightly cut off] 
'''Chris:''' ...I'm sorry, uh-y, I'm sorry, you got cut off, what was that? 
'''Julie:''' What's a sho-[cuts off again]- 
'''Chris:''' ...What's a...''short''? 
'''Julie:''' Shot-[cuts off third time, pretty obvious she's saying ''shota'']- 
'''Fan:''' Dude, shota. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, shota. 
'''Chris:''' Ssshhhh...shota? 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, S-H-O-A-T-A [sic]. 
'''Fan:''' Oh, it's a word he found online. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, [baby?], yeah. 
'''Chris:''' I never heard of that word. 
'''Other Guy:''' Hmm. 
'''Chris:''' I dunno, if you want to look it up, you can probably find out on an online dictionary... 
''[pause, and a weary sigh from someone other than Chris]'' 
'''Chris:''' I'll-I'll take a look. Hang on. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I know some Japanese and I think I've heard that somewhere, like in a magazine or something. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, it's some of that Japanese shit. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Probably is. Three moments, I'll look it up. 
'''Julie:''' Okay! 
''[pause, Chris's radio is audible]'' 
'''Chris:''' ...Whoops, that was the wrong one. The wrong bookmark. 
'''Fan:''' S-H-O-T-A. 
'''Chris:''' I know, I just get the wrong bookmark for...place I wi-for like...dictionary-type website that I have. 
''[pause, Chris's keyboard taps are audible]'' 
'''Guy:''' Uhhh...Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' Ok, now that Julie's done with her question, I also had one. 
'''Fan:''' He has to find what that means first. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, ''I'm sorry''. 
'''Chris:''' Shit, ah shit, I've just found it on Wikipedia. It's, uh, it's a ma-it's a Japanese name. It's a name of a person. In Japan. 
'''Guy:''' Really. 
'''Chris:''' It's a Japanese name. I think it's- 
'''Fan:''' Oh no no, I think you're looking at the wrong thing, it's S- S-H-O-T-A-C-O-N. 
'''Chris:''' S-H- I mean- O-T-A-C-O-N? Shotacon? 
'''Fan:''' It's the same thing, just put C-O-N at the end. 
'''Guy:''' I've read it in a dictionary before, can't remember what it means... 
'''Chris:''' Oh, oh! Okay, here it is, uh..."shotacon, sometimes shortened to shota, is Japanese slang of the phrase 'Shotaro Complex'"...uh..."that describes the attraction to young boys or an individual with such an attraction". 
''[Disgusted reactions heard]'' 
'''Fan:''' Oh my god, what the fuck? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' There's lots of sick people. Y'all are gonna get ricked? 
'''Fan:''' Someone from 4 cent garbage came in and told us to look that up, I didn't--I didn't even want to. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' I guess he's a homo... 
'''Fan:''' Don't worry I banned him already. 
'''Girl:''' Um, Chris, Vivian wants to know if you can like, turn your radio down a bit, it's distracting. 
'''Guy:''' Yes, please turn it down. 
'''Chris:''' I thought that was quiet enough, here. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, no, the lady'll probably pick it up 
'''Girl:''' Alright cool. Merci. 

===10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies===

'''Another Fan:''' Okay, um, I have a question, um, I like to draw--interrupted by mumbling--I like to draw comics and such, I mean I want to start up a webcomic. What kind of materials do you use? 
'''Chris:''' Um, like, you mean for drawing? 
'''Another Fan:''' Yes. 
'''Chris:''' Well mostly I just use like, uh, paper without lines, like, computer printer paper you can get in, like, Wal-Mart, for an inexpensive price in multiples. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay-- 
'''Chris:''' And then I use like an RES--RSVP-brand pen with the black ink. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh okay, is it like, um, a gel pen or a ballpoint pen or-- 
'''Chris:''' It's like a ballpoint, it's like a ballpoint pen. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Fan:''' What do you use to color? 
'''Chris:''' I use Crayola brand markers. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' I would like to--I would--I would--I would recommend getting the Super Tip 50-pack which you can also find at the Wal-Mart. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay. I--[interrupted by someone else on chat] 
'''Guy:''' That's basically-- 
'''Another Fan:''' At Wal-Mart I usually get the 24-color RoseArts. Those are--those do pretty good too. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhhh, Vivian, just so you--just so you know, I'm using the microphone that came with Hey You, Pikachu for Nintendo Sisty-Four [sic]. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, yeah no, no offense, but uh, personally I prefer like, colored pencils and shit cause--[Chris mumbling is heard]--they're like easier to erase. Photoshop [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' If you want to use colored pencils that's fine, I'm not, uh, saying that you have to use Crayola markers-- 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, can I ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Julie:''' Why don't you use colored pencils? They're really good, you should try one on like, at least one page, just try one. One page with just colored pencils. 
'''Fan:''' But um, actually, you can--you can scan your drawings and then color--color them in like, Photoshop or something. [rest of chat murmurs in agreement] That looks really professional, and really good. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I prefer using the markers. 
'''Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' It's just that I--I mean--I mean I've tried--I mean I've colored with colored pencils before, and I just feel best with using markers. 
'''Julie:''' I have a question, um, uh, the Hey You Pikachu microphone, how does that work on the, you're using that on your computer? Did you say? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah it's just, yeah, it's like you plug it into uh, into the basic microphone jack. 
'''Julie:''' Oh, yeah, yeah. 
'''Girl:''' Excuse me, I have a nice little Plantronics headset. 
'''Chris:''' Um-- 
'''Another Fan:''' Hey Chris can I ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, hang on a second, uh... uh, Omicron, that's uh, you're basically, uh, you're basically plagiarizing here. You're even using, uh, parts of my original drawings to, uh, make up your so called real ones and, you're just--you're just parroting--you're just plagiarizing-- 
'''Fan:''' That's dirty and illegal. 
[Unintelligible mumbling] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, you said so yourself, you're being illegal. And plus, and plus I'm-- 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, isn't combining Sonic with Pikachu the same thing? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, but, but but also, look at this, also I'm looking at this site here, it said, he's claiming the copyright for himself, but he's, but he's not. I mean that's like, but he's, he--he says 
'''Foreign Sounding Guy:''' You need to ban him immediately. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, ban him immediately. 
'''Guy:''' Oh wait wait wait wait wait... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah maybe you should check--[interrupted by loud noise, probably Chris] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well he said that, he's saying that all of Sonichu material is copyrighted by him, when it's clearly not. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah but you use Sonic and Pikachu, and you copyrighted it-- 
'''Other Guy:''' He just offered to give you credit--[interrupted by noisy chatter] 
'''Chris:''' I mean, I put, I mean, yeah but, I mean, I'm talking about the--the Omnicron [sic] guy here, that's like, just put this link here. 
'''Fan:''' Oh he offered to give you credit-- 
'''Julie:''' Yes that's the same thing you did. 
'''Chris:''' Well no no, he, no-- 
'''Fan:''' We decided-- 
'''Chris:''' No he's plagiarizing MY Sonichu. 
'''Fan:''' We just decided [unintelligible] 
'''Foreign Sounding Guy:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Julie:''' Chris it's, it's a parody, kinda like Sonichu is. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but he--yeah, but he's saying, he said--he--on his front page he says, all Sonichu material-- 
'''Fan:''' Yeah but he's, he just offered to change it, so are you okay with that? 
'''Chris:''' By changing it to Sonichu X-- 
'''Fan:''' No, he said he'll give you credit instead of claiming it for himself. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, yeah I would appreciate that, that would be better, yeah, if... he changed that. 
'''Fan:''' Alright cool. 
'''Guy:''' Problem solved. 

===15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength===
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yes Julie. 
'''Julie:''' Do you think you could tell everyone about my idea? And, since you're going to do it do you think you could tell everyone so they could look out for it? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, your idea... um, oh oh oh, yeah, just basically a video of me coming up to Clyde and showing him how strong I am, a few kicks to the camera-- 

'''(transcription from 24.45)''' 

Chris: There you are, updated. It's finally fixed. 
Guy: Actually that was Richard Karn on Home Improvement, not Billy Mays. 
Chris: Oh. Well my mistake, I mean the guy had the beard and uhh... 
Guy: Oh yeah I can understand. 
Chris: And the voice sounds- and the voice sounds the same... 
Fan: Yeah. They sound the same. 
Guy: I guess. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
Chris: There's a matter of interpretation apparently I misinterpreted so I will admit that I was wrong. 
Fan: Yeah see we all make mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself. 
(pause) 
Guy: (unintelligible babble or singing) 
Fan: Have you gotten any fan art submissions or notable? For the uh- webpage? 
Chris: Yeah I got one today... It's like mostly a drawing of that uh that uh- of the fan herself. 
Fan: Oh. 
Chris: -got in the snail mail today. 
Guy: -Sunday. 
(pause) 
Chris: Oh. Hmmmm... 
Guy: What are you doing for this Valentine's day Chris? 
Chris: Uhhhm... I'm sorry, what was that question? 
Guy: What will you be doing this year on Valentine's day? 
Chris: Hm depends... 
Guy: Ahhh, I see. 
Chris: Hm. 
Fan: Surely a man of such magnitude as yourself are going to be doing something important, aren't you? 
Chris: Mmm. 
Guy: Magnitude? Way to choose the words buddy. 
Other guy: (Unintelligible) 
Chris: Uh, cause I don't have Julie over here yet. 
(Reactions of OHs and AHs) 
Chris: If she was here... 
Julie: (unintelligible) -play games. 
Chris: Or we could just uh... talk. 
Woman: Ehehehehe. Maybe... uh... why no redheads? 
Other Woman: Yeah? 
Chris: Yeah, I was trying to think about that when the other guy asked that question. Uh... I was trying to think up that unh... mmmm... Uhhhh, redheads just don't be very- tract me so much. 
Several: Uh, ah. 
Chris: It's- it's- a- pi- a possibility that they're dyed. 
Woman: Mmmmmmm... 
Chris: But yeah y'know natural redheads enh, yeah, just don't really turn me on as much. 
Woman: I see... 
Fan: Have you thought about girls with um, highlights? 
Chris: Mmmm... (pause) aaahhhh... what turns me on hhh- (inhales) (pause) obviously the women. 
Man: (inaudible) -women? 
Guy: What about piercings or tattoo? 
Chris: Yeah, neither of those. 
(Pause) 
Chris: Ehhhh- 
Guy: Hey (unintelligible) 
Julie: Hey Chris! How bout like non-orange hair, not like... no, never mind. I'm sorry. 
Chris: Yeah... oh... okay... hmmm... 
Julie: Wait Chris! How do you feel about blue hair? 
Chris: Blue hair's okay, otherwise I wouldna- Otherwise I wouldn't've liked Sailor Mercury. 
British??? guy: That is true, she does have blue hair. 
Guy: She's a very fine character. There is no way to deny it. 
Other guy: Blue hair is OFF DA HOOK!!! Doesn't Marge Simpson have blue hair as well? 
Chris: (in some kind of insane voice) Oh yeah! Marge Simpson has blue hair and it's as tall as the Empire State building!!! 
(Some HMMs UHs and UMs follow) 
Julie: Yo Chris!! Can you do some impersonations for us? 
British??? Guy: Oh we'd love to hear that! 
Chris: I just did Marge Simpson. 
Guy: Yeah you're really talented. 
British??? Guy: Yeah. 
(Several people talking at once.) 
Julie: -they're really good. 
Guy: Do another sentence Chris, how about Comic Book Guy? 
British??? Guy: Mmmmhmmm... 
Chris: Oh ??? indeed. Oh I ??? promiscuous and whatnot. I like Batman and Robin, oh look! Stan Marsh has come into the thing again - I forget that guy's name, that guy who did the Marvel comics. 
Several: (incoherent) 
Julie: Stan Lee. (Pause) Chris do your Donald Duck impression. 
Chris: Everybody have (incoherent and scary quacking) 
Several: (laughter) 
Guy: Chris you should work for Disney. 
Fan: That's good Chris. 
Guy: Have you ever considered being a voice actor? 
Chris: Errrrrp... possibly, I'm not sure. 
Fan: (incoherent, cut off by Chris) 
Chris: (incoherent... another cartoon voice) 
Guy: Hey Chris, you're a Christian, right? 
Chris: Yeah 
Guy: I was just wondering- 
Chris: Ahm actu- 
Guy: -do you just- 
Chris: I'm actually a Methodist church. 
Guy: Oh awesome, I was just wondering: Do you think AIDS was sent by god to kill the homos or do you think that it's just an accident or something man-made? 
Chris: The thou- the thought never occurred to me... thought never occurred to me. 
Other guy: can you do an impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger? 
Guy: Hold- the question... 
Fan: Let Chris answer the question. 
Chris: The thought- the thought never occurred to me about what you just said about the AIDS there mmmm... but y'know, it's a possibility and I will not agree nor disagree with it. 
Guy: Yeah, I was just wondering I mean, I've had that discussion with some of my Christian friends. I just wanted to get your opinion, thank you. 
(pause) 
Chris: Mmhhh... 
Julie: I think (clears throat) I think Omicron has a point and you did tell me you went to a methodist church didn't you? So that's- 
Chris: Yeah well th- well my Methodist church is uh more loose on- is not as strict on uh- on uh sex. 
Julie: Chris I don't know- I don't know that much about religion in the States but I don't think there is a looser Meth- Methodist church. God makes the rules Omicron says. 
(pause) 
Chris: Yeah well, hmmm... 
Guy: Well, you know personally I think that the government made AIDS to kill off all the brothers. 
Fan: Whoa, whoa... That's what the blacks always say. 
Chris: Yeah. (pause) I'm going to agree, that sounds like something that uh... well, a black guy would say. 
Guy: So you church is kinda of uh- they let you do- their kinda loose on the whole moral restrictions? 
Chris: Mmm... (pause) uhhh... that's... what's the question? 
Guy: Your church they- you said they're kind of more uh- y'know they're less strict on the whole moral thing, like, as far as sexuality goes? Right? 
Chris: -ah basically. 
Guy: But y'know, uhh, I thought you're supposed to listen to the Bible or whatever not, y'know, not necessarily- no, never mind. 
(Pause) 
Guy: Hey Chris- 
Other guy: (interrupts) 
Chris: Yeah, there's also a uh, there's also a- think about this uh, if you uh- if you- if you were a think uh- you have to find for yourself a good meaning behind uh- good meaning behind watching pornography to uh- like teach how it- how to do this and that when you actually get around to doing it... 
Guy: That's all ??? 
Chris: That's all's considered education for yourself. 
Guy: How is that realistic at all? 
(pause) 
Guy: Yeah, it's uh- not a really good thing to learn from, trust me. 
Chris: It can be done before marriage as well as long as me and my sweetheart really love each other very much. 
Fan: But not in Christianity. 
Guy: But all I'm saying is y'know, porn is completely, completely unre- unrealistic I mean you can't really learn anything from it. 
(pause) 
Chris: It gives- it gives you enough ideas. 
Julie: (incoherent) 
Other guy: (incoherent) porn. 
Guy: When you actually have sex, it's nothing like porn. 
(pause) 
Chris: Maybe not like you, you not gonna do it- 
Accented woman: You can't do it immediately- immediately anal sex cause most women are not very happy with anal sex and also... 
Guy: Okay, shut up 
Accented woman: -and also weird- 
Guy: Shut up. 
Accented woman: Yes. 
Guy: And... that wasn't cool, like... 
Fan: That was uncalled for... 
Guy: Yeah, like, suthin' a BLACK MAN would say... 
Several: (incoherent) 
Other guy: That's racist man... 
Chris: Well, somebody said it on here first before I did. 
Guy: Does that make it ok? 
Julie: Chris, I think he's trying to make it clear that- I dunno. 
Chris: I typically agree with that guy. 
(pause) 
Julie: So nothing g- it doesn't make it ok. 
(incoherent)
Chris: (babbling) I wi- I'm sorry, I take it back. 
(pause) 
(incoherent) 
Guy: Guys can we get back to Sonichu, Please? 
Fan: Yeah. 
Other guy: Yeah this is getting ridiculous. 
Guy: (incoherent) -Sonichu actually. 
(pause) 
Guy: Anyway, my question is that: why does Sonichu not wear clothes while Rosechu and the other Rosechus do wear clothes? And underwear? 
Chris: Aaaaaaaaaamp... It's like uh- it's basically a cartoon and it doesn't really matter, it's like... mm... think about this: Most cartoon characters wear at least one article of clothing. At least one article. And uh- it's like Yogi Bear who just wears a necktie and a hat. 

'''(From 35.14)''' 

Other Guy: I think it would be cool if all the Sonichus and Rosechus got together and they and- they all formed a big team and they had special uniforms or something, kinda like the X-men. 
Fan: Or Power Rangers. 
Chris: Uh yeah, I don't do- I don't do well- I'm not in- no uniforms. It's a uniform and other Sonichus and Rosechus. 
Guy: I'm just wondering if you'd do another impression: What does Blachu sound like? Uh, Black Sonichu? Or Blake? 
Chris: Eeeeuuunh... Eh... ahhhh... 
British guy: Can you imitate it? 
Chris: Mmmm... I'm not sure... uhhhhm... 
Guy: Like does he sound black? 
Chris: Possibly, but I'm not certain. I'm not leaning towards it. 
Guy: Ok, I'd like to hear it, but if you don't want... 
Chris: I just never- I just never really thought about that. I'd say that he possibly sounds similar to uh, y'know Shadow the hedgehog. But he could possibly sound, black. He could. Don't quote me on it. 
Guy: All right, I was just wondering if you'd do his voice but... 
Black guy: Hey why does the BAD guy gotta be black? 
Chris: I never said the bad guy "has to" be black. (pause) I mean, look at the- the range of villanies, I mean there's black and whites and uh... male females. 
(pause) 
Black guy: Yeah I noticed that uh- Silvana's also... black lookin'. 
Chris: I just decided to color her black because she was born- she came from outer space from a black egg, which was the- which came out of the rainbow. 
(pause) 
Black guy: Yeah, I was also wonderin' about that like- 
Chis: I- I- I- 
Black guy: If Silvana came out of the rainbow, right? 
Chris: Yes it's- 
Black guy: Why would she be black? 
Chris: (babbling) 
Black guy: I mean like black ain't part of the rainbow, right? 
Chris: It's like the black sheep of the family. Y'know you put all the colors together and it does become black. 
(unintelligible reactions) 
Guy: -like a brownish- 
Other guy: (unintelligible) is a (unintelligible) color. 
Fan: Maybe it's because she's from space and there's not a lot of light in space and it's dark or something. 
Chris: Yeah that- a uh yeah- that's one of the- 
Other guy: Hmmm. 
Woman: Uhm, did you look at the link of my friend? 
Chris: Uh, ummmm... 
Woman: Yeah, since you love blue hair. 
(pause) 
Chris: Uh- no I haven't looked at it and I don't wanna make Julie feel jealous if I did- if I went and did. 
Fan: I don't think Julie would mind. 
Woman: Uhhh... 
Fan: You look at pornography don't you? 
Woman: (mumble) 
(pause) 
Chris: No, that- that was two syllables "Rose-chu". You don't- don't add- don't say the "e" it's just "Rosechu". 
Fan: Yeah you went over this last chat. 
(pause) 
Other guy: Hey Chris. 
Chris: (I don't know, it sounds like "narrator") 
Other guy: Uh. 
Chris: (sounds like he says "narrator" again) 
Other guy: Uh... I was just- 
Chris: No, well, obviously the uh- the narrator who did those audio books was incorrect. Specially since I never gave that person the approval to do the audiobooks. 
Fan: I think it's just a fan project and I think he- 
Chris: Yeah 
Fan: and I think he might have one of the West coast dialects. I know that the South they say y'all but over here- 
Chris: Well obviously he lied- 
Fan: -different. I'd be proud if they made one of my projects into an audiobook though. That means that there are a lot of fans out there that really like it. 
Other guy: Ay. 
Fan: They're not selling to try and make any money off it. They're not trying to rip you off. They always made sure- they always narrate the first page by saying "Christian Weston Chandler" so they're not trying to cheat you or anything. 
Chris: Yeah. 
Fan: The people know you're making it. 
Chris: Yeah I- I hear that. I just, apparently they misin- misinterpreted the (audio breaks up) name Rosechu. Or mispronounced it. Misinterpreted, mispronounce- fairly the same thing in that situation.......... possibly. To answer that question... possibly. 
Guy: Uh, Vivian said that the audiobooks made Sonichu way popular that- than you could ever ever do on your own. 
Chris: Well, I will not disagree with the statement. And I appreciate her help. 
(pause) 
Other guy: Hey Chris. Would you be offended if a fan wrote a fanfiction about Sonichu? 
Chris: Faaanfiction... if it's- if it's not demeaning or makes them look stupid. Then it's fine- it's fine. (pause) Like I did mind when, shoot, what's his name? That guy... uhhhh... that guy that the uhhhh... did the animations, on his computer. 
British guy: You did mind or you didn't? 
Guy: Animations??? 
Fan: I think I know what he's talking about. Are you talking about the um... 

(background noise begins) 
Background voice: Well the original play was a Greek play. Where they're all y'know... Greeks... and crazy stuff happens and they're all runnin' around in togas. So if you ever wanna see the movie "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" it was a classic and it had some real classic people from the 50s and 60s in it. Kinda like "It's a MAD MAD MAD MAD World". Sort of a classic old school movie from funny old school world. First color movie type thing. But that'll be a high school play. You'll wanna see that. You might actually enjoy it. (unintelligible) 
(inaudible response) 
Background voice: You never know that might be fun to do. Well I guess that wouldn't work on the weekend then... you gotta... 

'''(FOR THOSE OF YOU WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, IT APPEARS THAT THERE WAS SOME TECHNICAL PROBLEM THAT CAUSED ANOTHER MUMBLE CHANNEL TO BE RECORDED WHILE THE CONVERSATION WITH CHRIS BECAME BARELY AUDIBLE BACKGROUND NOISE. INSTEAD ALL THAT CAN BE HEARD IS SOME BUTTFACE YAMMERING ABOUT FILMS AND TELEVISION SHOWS. I'M NOT GOING TO KEEP TRANSCRIBING IT. CHRIS IS STILL TALKING AND ANSWERING QUESTIONS, BUT NOTHING CAN BE UNDERSTOOD OVER THESE GUYS.)''' 

'''(AT 42.56 THE AUDIO SUDDENLY RESUMES NORMALLY)''' 

Unknown person: Uh you- 
Black guy: Yeah I uh- noticed he's another BLACK villain. 
Chris: Yeah in real life he was black. Without meaning any offence to the uh- black guy in general, cause you've noticed, among the Jerkops there's uh- we got black's and white's, males and females. 
(pause) 
(several people jump in at once) 
Other guy: (unintelligible) -on a female officer before. 
Chris: Well y'know uhhh... uhhh, comic book number 7, near the end. Near the end of the time travel episode. Uhh, I have no opinion about what Obama's doing cause I don't watch the news. 
Accented woman: But you voted for him, didn't you? 
Chris: Yes I voted for him because I saw myself in him when I com- when I saw both the documentaries and downloaded them for the Playstation Network between Obama and McCain. I mean voted for a person I saw more of myself of- 
Accented woman: You usually vote for someone based on their political leanings, not how you view them. As I were Republican, I voted for John McCain. Not because I liked him but because I- he had the same political views as me. 
Chris: Well, basi- basically I'm a moderate. 
Other guy: Oh, I see. Um, I was wondering. I was reading opinions: do you agree with his financial bailouts? 
Chris: Hm, I don't even know what it is. So I can't disagree or agree. 
Other guy: Well, to make it short um, it's about uh- the government- President Obama is planning to uh- a new one- (cuts out) 
Chris: I'm sorry what? 
(pause) 
Fan: You got cut off there. 
Chris: Yeah. 
Fan: Uhh, ok, we lost him. 
(pause) 
Black guy: Yo, Chris, uh, do you, you didn't just vote for Obama cause he was black, did you? 
Chris: No, I did not vote for him because he was black. I voted for him cause I saw myse- because I saw myself in him. In like, similar lifestyles. And I saw that he was a good man, I mean after all, com- I saw- I saw I watched both of the A&E documentaries, before I can- before I knew who I would vote for. 

'''(Ends for now at 45.29)''' 

{{Transcription}}
{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat 6]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 8|Mumble Chat 8]]|}}

==Links==
[http://www.mediafire.com/?zkia5tz1y5j Download]

==See Also==

[[Christian's sex joke]] - Used during this chat.

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Talk:Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown

2010-05-06T14:05:33Z

Pitifuladultlife:

==To do==
*<strike>add some of the drama involved (especially his e-mail to Sony, about how he was hoping for his "first time in bed" with Megan at the hotel. </strike>
*<strike>his Adam Stackhouse response video (seems like it's been lost forever, so best we can do is describe it)</strike>
*<strike>his fake Sony page where Sony announces Chris-chan is the TRUE and HONEST winner and Adam Stackhouse has been disqualified.</strike>
*There was an IRC chat where he said that this was one of the three contests he won (though loosely - he only won those two PSPs, which he gave to Megan and her brother, IIRC).
*Didn't Chris get two PSPs out of this? Double check. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:29, 15 March 2009 (CET)
:*Also, I believe Chris has mentioned in some form that he won a PaRappa beanie cap (that cap PaRappa wears) in addition to a keychain (see [[Chris's Big Night Out]]). Need to verify this. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:59, 15 June 2009 (CEST)
I think someone from PVCC (maybe Arjen) contacted Adam Stackhouse or maybe it was a comment from Adam himself about how there were only about a dozen (yes, as in around 12) total contestants in the contest and if they stuck strictly to the rules, no one would have won really. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:40, 11 June 2009 (CEST)

Also, since some people have this impression that Chris is lying when he said he was one of the winners, Chris actually did win stuff - we know he won a beanie and a keychain, plus two PSPs (IIRC about the PSPs), it's only that he bitched about not being first place and winning the contest to PAX. But technically, he was a finalist so he did get stuff, he just wasn't the first place winner. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:59, 21 July 2009 (CEST)

Just going through some old pages... Is the CWC-Tok thing really relevant to this video? It seems to me more of a "THAT IS MY HOUSE" thing. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 22:59, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

The site he made and the myspace group appear to have been baleeted. Anyone have copies? [[User:Boop|Boop]] 01:13, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

== borrowed or bought? ==

''Which I got from a demo I '''borrowed''' from my friend Megan!''

I think it sound's like he's singing "bought" instead of borrowed. Megan seems like te money-whore to sell some free demo she got to chris for 5 bucks or so. Chris seems like the loser to pay her, because he was trying to kiss her ass. What do you guys think? [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 14:42, 5 May 2010 (UTC)

He says it kind of quickly, but it definitely sounds like 'borrowed' to me. [[User:Pitifuladultlife|Pitifuladultlife]] 14:05, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

Category:Yo! CWC Raps

2010-05-05T18:40:46Z

Pitifuladultlife:

Christian Weston Chandler has attempted to rap many times, always with tragic results.

IPods Down and Listen Up

2010-04-26T20:35:38Z

Pitifuladultlife:

{{honest}}
"'''iPods Down and Listen Up'''" (known as "'''iPods Down and Listen Up.MOV'''") is a video uploaded the 15 December 2009 in which [[Chris]] [[fail]]s once again at rapping and life.

The rap itself appears to be improvised (though knowing Chris, he could just as easily have come up with such terrible lyrics beforehand, since he doesn't have enough of a quality filter on any aspect of his life for it to stand out), and Chris apparently alludes to what most people would call [[rape]]. It is unclear as to what precisely Chris is under the [[Alcohol|influence]] of, or how he [[Chris's Big Night Out|obtained it]].

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = iPods Down and Listen Up
| image = {{#ev:youtube|Ao6bUGbCNU8}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 15 December 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Music.png]] Music
| Performance Style = {{Crazy}} Crazy
| Shirt = {{StraightWhiteLinesShirt}} Straight White Lines
| previous = [[Congrats, Jack Black]]
| next = [[Hello, Juffalo]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===
[[File:Jay-Z.jpg|thumb|[[Jay Z]]'s reaction after watching this video.]]
[''Chris makes liberal use of his gangsta-speak in this video'']

Yo, what is up, homies, and homes, and home-misses... dudettes and dudates. This ain't no [[Captain's Log|update]] on da [[Sonichu]] [[duck|thang]]; still workin' on it, but listen [''tries to turn this into a song''] up, up-up, up, up, up-up! Listen up! Put down your iPods, and listen up! I had a test that shows... stock market had a rise in hooooooes! I tell you what now. Tell ya what, tell ya what (what-what, what).

[''a momentary pause to recollect'']

Momentary pause to recollect. I tell ya what, ladies, I have a game. Let's play Jungle Fever (Jungle Fever)! I'm the la—I am the manly '''tiga''' (manly tiga)! You're the sleek, sexy panther! [[Rape|I pounce on you, you run away]]. I haven't missed that chase, anyway! And we chase for a while (a, a while), and then you wear out, and you take it like a gal (gal), and then we pump [[Chris and Sex|(pump-pump, pump, pump, pump-pump)]] until we'll be have our little [[Crystal Weston Chandler|tiga-panther cubs]]!

Or for—since it's Christmas time, let's make like I'm Mister—yo' Mrs. Claus. I have a... good ole heat, 'cuz I took... a bit o'... [[Wikipedia:Viagra|Viagra]]. Bam, ba-bam, bam, ho, [[Pokémon|ho-OH]]!

...Word! I have a confidence booster... and my confidence is at the max! So... there. That's the word of the day. Still an update on the [[CWCipedia]], eyyyy?

Word up. Peace out.
{{clear}}
==Remixed==

<center>
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Momentary Pause to Recollect (Bam Ba Bam Bam) by Chris-chan Ft. Bill Hicks
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wN3EWjebiMo}}
| Stardate = 15 December 2009
| Maker = TwoCows23
| Subject = Chris
| Video Type = Remix
}}</center>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DAo6bUGbCNU8&start1=&video2=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DNcJytCvBrWk&start2=8 Gangsta Chris]
*[http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fv%2FAo6bUGbCNU8&start1=0&video2=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fv%2F9iNlAT9BLzo&start2=9 Another mashup]
*[http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fv%2FAo6bUGbCNU8&start1=0&video2=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D-iKtiveApUo&start2= And another one]
*[http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http://www.youtube.com/v/Ao6bUGbCNU8&start1=0&video2=http://www.youtube.com/v/-QRbQfwae9E&start2=0 And another]
*[http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fv%2FAo6bUGbCNU8&start1=0&video2=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DSXDpShy8LiM&start2= 187 on a Jerkop]
*[http://tubedubber.com/#Ao6bUGbCNU8:yiwqKV2rLzo:100:85:0:0:true CWC Vs. RZA]
*[http://tubedubber.com/#Ao6bUGbCNU8:eRCJow2tKso:100:50:0:0:true Still C.W.C]
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Congrats, Jack Black]]|nextlink=[[Hello, Juffalo]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Prank calls

2010-04-26T20:07:10Z

Pitifuladultlife:

It's no secret that the Chandler home gets many prank calls, thanks to [[Chris]]'s e-fame and the fact he actually revealed his phone number to the entire internet. Multiple times. However, many of the brave souls that call the Chandler home record their calls and upload them to [[YouTube]], providing an insight into the Chandlers' thoughts.

==Prank Call Collection==
A collection of various prank calls made to the almighty [[Bob Chandler|Internet Lumberjack]] on a Sunday afternoon.

<center>
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</center>

==Failed Prank Call==
In this video, a gaggle of trolls attempt to prank call Chris, yelling [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAYYYYY]] into the phone. Instead, they get Bob, who instantly realizes the prank and yells at the trolls.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Troll 1:''' [''whispers insults at the time it's taking for someone to answer'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' JULAAAAY JULAAAAY JULAAAAY!
 '''Bob:''' What the hell's that supposed to mean? That you're an idiot?
 '''Troll 2:''' Woah woah woah, are you Bob Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn't matter who I am, who is this idiot I'm talking to on the other end?
 '''Troll 2:''' Umm
 '''Bob:''' You got some funny ass ideas about playing games of mind on the telephone don't you. Are you six years old or somethin'?
 '''Troll 1:''' [unintelligible] We got his fucking dad. Shit.

==Chris Calls Bob ==
In this video, a troll calls the Chandler home, using a soundboard of Chris-chan to prank the Chandler home. Note how Bob either recognizes that the call is a prank or he doesn't recognize his own son's voice; also, note that he has a caller ID phone.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|oR27uIDz9d4}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm fine, but you're wasting your time calling my phone, you know that?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Don't say that.
 '''Bob:''' Because it doesn- it doesn't make any noise. All it does is flash a light. So it really doesn't bother me, I just thought I would tell you that you're wasting your time
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 [Call likely cut - redialed]
 '''Bob:''' I thought I told you, we don't answer any calls that have unknown names on them or unknown numbers.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I did not mean to give off the impression of being-
 [Redialed]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello!
 '''Bob:''' Hello.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty good.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good!
 '''Bob:''' Why do you bother to call this phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Bob:''' Yes, I am. Why do you bother to call this phone, because the phone doesn't ring.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What the hell? Why are you- why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Barbara:''' Don't call us anymore.
 '''Bob:''' Now don't, don't cuss at me, fella.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up.
 '''Bob:''' I'll start cussing at at you.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Bob:''' Listen, fella. Kid. Whatever you dumbass is.
 '''Barbara:''' ''[heard in the background]'' Hang up the phone!
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian.
 ''[more indistinct conversation in the background, "Hang up the phone!" etc.]''
 '''Bob:''' Well listen, listen. The phone doesn't ring, all it does is light a light, so you're not botherin' me and every once in a while I try and tell you people that you're wastin' your damn time. Okay, you're not botherin' us. So why the hell do you do--waste all that effort? Put it in to something con- constructive and creative.
 '''Barbara:''' ''[interjects]'' Go to Haiti!
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, go to Haiti and help those people, or go to hell, one or the other. ''[Chris soundboard says something simultaneously]''
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes- Yes I agree with you, this is frustrating.
 [''Bob hangs up'']

=='Epic Crazy Lady' calls Bob==
A troll using a soundboard of a super loud Fundamentalist yells at Bob over the phone, while Bob throws insults at her and makes comments on how he can't understand her, as she continues to get angrier.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|V2yasF8ngxU}}
</center>

{{quote| Listen boy, you get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!| Bob}}

===Transcript===
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Who do you think you are?
 '''Bob:''' Who are you?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I don't know who you are, but I tell you what, [''Unintelligible''], why don't you bring yourself over here?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon, who do you think you're talking to?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Did you know that you're not supposed to talk that way?
 '''Bob:''' Who are you?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You've got an issue problem. God forgive you.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Interrupts''] God needs to move in your life.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon. I haven't even beginning to understand what you're saying.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' God needs to move in your life ''severely''!
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you quit dialing my number, and go somewhere and play a game with the gutter rats?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Bring yourself over here! I'll show you what's the matter! OK?
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you come over here and I will show you what's the matter?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Unintelligible''], bring yourself buddy.
 '''Bob:''' Hey buddy. Listen boy.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You ain't no man.
 '''Bob:''' Listen boy! You get your flack-ass down in the gutter and stay there. Do you understand?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I am the woman of the house and you don't call me and ask me who my daddy is.
 '''Bob:''' I don't know what you are, or who you are, and I don't really care. But you are invading my privacy, and you are cussing at me, and I don't like it.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' ... put my husband and talk that way. I tell you what, why don't you call my husband, and tell my husband that?
 '''Bob:''' I don't know who you are or who you think i am...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Yeah, that's what you are, a big old chicken.
 '''Bob:''' Who do think I am?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' God Forgive you
 '''Bob:''' I wish you knew what number you called, because i think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I ain't called your house, who do you think you are calling my house.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call your house, sir, ma'am...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' No, you are!
 '''Bob:''' ...or whatever you are.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You ain't no man. I don't know who you are, but I tell you what,[''Unintelligible''], why don't you bring yourself over here?
 '''Bob:''' I'll let you talk to my wife, maybe she can talk some sense into your head.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Fine.
 '''Bob:''' [''Bob and Barbara discuss in the background''] You'd better check the number that you called, because you're not talking to anybody that you know.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I ain't called your house, who do you think you are calling my house.
 '''Bob:''' I haven't called your house. I am the one who picked up the phone and said hello.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You have got an issue problem.
 '''Bob:''' [''Barbara tells Bob something in the background''] I don't have an issue problem with anybody, but please quit calling my number.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' ... bring yourself over here and I'll show you what a whooping is.
 [''Bob hangs up'']
 '''Troll:''' Hello sir.
 '''Bob:''' You get your black ass in the gutter, and stay there.
 '''Troll:''' [''Whistles'']
 '''Bob:''' Thanks buddy.

==Bob Calls Himself==
In this one, Bob seems not to be able to recognize his own voice, and his view on trolls is the same as Chris's, "Internet people who persecute people". Also, Snorlax makes an appearance.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|5Hz1i7QJEf0}}
</center>

{{quote| I ain't got no black ass!| Barbara, at| Bob |color=silver|size=360%}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling your phone, why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Bob:''' Well who are you? You're the one that made the call.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who do you think I am?!
 '''Bob:''' I don't know wha- who you are but I know you're in Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call the number; my phone rang.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why I-I answered the phone now tell me what you want you rang my damn number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ring your number but if you're in Oklahoma you shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call anybody I just picked up the phone; let me explain something to you, can I do that? I-I'm a Texan now can I-can I explain something to you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good.
 '''Bob:''' Okay. There is on the internet... a a bunch of trolls, now they persecute people and these these trolls have found somewhere somebody that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID. Now this-the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they've even gived it a named called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. And I think if I-if you think that I called your number and that's what's happening to you because I did not call your number. But that's-
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Speaking over''] Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' -- what's happened to me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' Who am I? I'm Robert Chandler and I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old but I was born in Fort Worth, so I'm a neighbor.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What's on your mind, you called me now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm talking to you what do- else do you want?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't have an issue problem with anybody but please quit calling my number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you but I'm trying to explain how these people do it. Okay?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Nobody's playing games with the phone unless you are.
 '''Bob:''' Well, look: I'm 82 years old, all right? I was born in Fort Worth. I'm basically a neighbor of yours or at one time I was. I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa. Okay? I have a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know what you are or who you are and I don't really care.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm trying to be nice to you and to explain what's happening. You're being a victim of the internet people that persecute people, because I didn't call your number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I still didn't understand you.
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't wha-wha how can I explain it any simpler to you. They--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy
 '''Bob:''' --they have a program in-in their computer which allows them to dial numbers anywhere in the country and put in as the caller ID any particular telephone number they want to.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen you motherfucker get down in your lowlife gutter and stay there!
 '''Bob:''' Listen I didn't start cussing at you now-now-now just cut it down, cool it down; I'm trying to be nice to you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't need your crap.
 '''Barbara:''' Hello there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Barbara:''' Sir or mam or whatever the hell you are.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Barbara:''' Don't you call up here--now look don't you call up here cussing at my husband.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Get down in you lowlife gutter and stay there
 '''Barbara:''' We didn't have-we didn't have anything to do with this damn...er..thing that's going on. There are a lot of- lot of weird people out here and you might be included as one of them if you are calling us and cussing us out. Now hang up the phone and forget the number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!
 '''Barbara:''' I ain't got no black ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey buddy.

== Liquid Bob calls Bob ==
A troll pretending to be a Liquid version of Bob calls Bob. In this video we learn that Bob doesn't know of Sonic, and thinks Chris invented Sonichu himself. Also, we learn that the trolls are spoofing the telephone company.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|fIoS-gPOA0k}}
</center>

{{quote|S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G.|Bob, repeating himself}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:'''--FBI and everybody else, that there's a system that goes on that says that anybody that wants to do it that knows how with the proper software and stuff can call any number in the country that they want to and can put any particular phone number in the system as if it came from that number to the people: called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Now--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Is-
 '''Bob:''' --you can call your local police department if you like about that but that's the name they all know it as: spoofing. Now I'm not calling your number some dizzy kook out there on the internet is playing games with ya.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you telling me that somebody out there on the internet is using your phone number in an attempt to pin the blame on your family?
 '''Bob:''' That's right. It goes on all the time, I've gotten calls from people everywhere. I've even-I've even uh gotten calls where I was terrorizing people and I wasn't even on the phone!
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh, sir I-I do not happen to know if anybody on the internet who is drawing cartoon, I-I don't know I don't use the internet but if that's-
 '''Bob:''' I don't use the internet either but my son does.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh-
 '''Bob:''' These people they hate him because he has copyright, and he just won a case in England on copyright, and there are people in the world that hate him, there are people in the world that love him but there are people in the world that hate him and the people in the world that hate him are going to all sorts of ends to try and destroy him.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son-your son is a
 '''Bob:''' -one of the ways they do it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son is a cartoonist?
 '''Bob:''' Yes he is.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's very-that's a very nice to hear. I hope he's doing good.
 '''Bob:''' Well he doesn't make a living at it but he's autistic, he's shares his cartoons with the world and has for the last ten or twelve years.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I've got a grandson who's into cartoons like that, he might know 'em. He's on the internet uh looking up cartoons on the internet and uh I think it's pretty nifty to be quite honest with you. That-
 '''Bob:''' Well the ones that my son does is called Sonichu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Sonichu? Is that some Japanese thing or what?
 '''Bob:''' Well it's Sonic and chu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh so-
 '''Bob:''' Like a Pikachu and like the Sonic.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well my grandkids are into this little thing called Pikachu but I wouldn't know anything about that. You taught your son-your son is a creator of this character?
 '''Bob:''' Ever since before the year 2000-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh
 '''Bob:''' -he's been putting and drawing them and putting them on the internet with the world.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh I see where this- I just wanted to find w-where these telephone numbers are up and coming from because-
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, you can go and check with your local police department if you like but there is called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:'''Spoo-
 '''Bob:''' They gon' come and say they can't stop it either,
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoofing.
 '''Bob:''' I-I could be put in jail for just terrorizing people cause my number comes in on their caller ID.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Can I-is this Mister Chandler right, your name is Mister Chandler right?
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, you-your
 '''Bob:''' Robert Chandler, I've got nothing to hide.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There-there are
 '''Bob:''' I'm eighty-two years old and I'm retired from GE.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There are other people I have heard I think one of my sons has been receiving calls from that number as well. I did a look-read up of that as well, my son who is very into the internet did a look up of that number and found out that most people are getting calls from that number as well.
 '''Bob:''' Well you see these people are using our number to try and get us in trouble.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I am very sorry to hear that sir.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's just how this world goes there are some lousy people in this world [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I-uh oh man I uh-- have you reported this incident yet?
 '''Bob:''' Well you try and get in touch with the FBI, have you ever tried to get in touch with he FBI, you can't get in touch with the FBI. They don't even have any phone numbers and if you find a phone number you then get an answering machine and nobody ever calls you back. They get no money for this kind o' thing, this internet crime stuff-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are-are you saying they are purposely ignoring this-
 '''Bob:''' [''speaking over''] -mistaken identity and everything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -they are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' They are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' That's right they are purposely ignoring it, the telephone company will tell you the same thing. They all have this thing named and it's called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' So they know this thing exists but they won't do anything about it.
 '''Bob:''' That's right they won't do a thing about it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Yeah-
 '''Bob:''' The caller ID won't block it or anything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you a Republican sir?
 '''Bob:''' I'm a-I'm a Republican yes.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That is-
 '''Bob:''' I didn't vote for Obama that's-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I did not vote for Obama either.
 '''Bob:''' Heh. What part of New York are you in?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think we live around Upstate New York, I-we're very conservative-
 '''Bob:''' --Upstate New York once, I lived in Utica.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I have a cousin who lives in Utica, I don't know if he's still living there but I haven't spoke to him in ten years-
 '''Bob:''' Yeah I worked with GE up there once bout forty years ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' General Electric?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah General Electric.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh, that's a very nice-I heard that's a very nice employ-- steady job.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah well I retired from there so.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just want-
 '''Bob:''' I enjoyed it, I used to go hiking in the Adirondacks and up there in the-in the mountains of uh--whate-- white mountain I guess it is they call it or something.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think that's what we'll call it, it's very cold up here too; very very cold.
 '''Bob:''' I could remember some days when it was 35 below 0 up here. I got my tootsie--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' We just had sixteen, sixteen inches of snow. I was-
 '''Bob:''' Would you believe I'm sitting in Charlottesville if you know where that is, in Virgin-Virginia
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think it's
 '''Bob:''' next to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, I can see the mountains from my house. But we have right now two feet of snow in our yard and one time we had over three feet; bout two weeks ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That- holy moly! Are you able to get on the road safely?
 '''Bob:''' Well I-I parked my car next to the street and I finally we got a plow and I can get in and out right now because I'm next to street but for about a week we couldn't get out at all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh- that's very scary to hear that you guys get that much snow during the winter months.
 '''Bob:''' It stopped Washington, Philadelphia, Baltimore and New York too, the same storms. It put the government out of business for seven days up there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, that just goes to shown ya you can't underestimate nature.
 '''Bob:''' That's right you can't, that's what I learned while I was in Utica in Upstate New York there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' It gets pretty bad up here let me tell. It-we had an ice storm about twenty years ago, it took the power out for nearly a month, all the cars were frozen, we couldn-we couldn't even use our refrigerator, oh it was scary we were afraid it wasn't even gonna come back on.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm [''chuckles''] I'm sure, well I can remember it we used to get all that what do you call it; lake effect snow?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh what was-
 '''Bob:''' -snow up there, the snow that comes off the moisture off the great lake there? And uh I can remember three feet of snow in Utica
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh yeah uh that's-
 '''Bob:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:'''-it hasn't been that bad yet, hopefully it won't be that bad in the future, winter months almost over and I can tell ya I want to get out on my boat again. And fish don't- and I go snapper fishing and they don't come 'till August.
 '''Bob:''' That's right, I remember a joke about it up there, you-you had two seasons: winter and the 4th of July.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' [''forced laughing''] Yeah uh- that's what they call it: Christmas and July [''chuckles'']
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I'm gotta be going now, well I just wanted to clear this-
 '''Bob:'''--sorry just ignore those calls cause it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just wanted to be-verify this cause occasionally people have called us and we just wanted to see if it was important or not. Cause I do have family in Virgi-
 '''Bob:''' Somebody might not like your son on the internet and that's why they're-- number and everythin' and that's why they're using our number to terrorize you.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh that probably answers some random number- back when I was little boy we used to just type in random numbers and the--phone just make ran- calls. I'm not proud of it or anythin' that's just what we did, it's none of this scary stuff that involves computers and everything; we did it in good fun we weren't tryin' to be antagonistic about it.
 '''Bob:''' Well there you are-- for a while there they were even trying to talk my son into committing suicide over the internet.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well that's just wrong.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah it's disgusting and the federal government won't do a thing to help us-- or the local government or anybody.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Have you gotten the police involved yet?
 '''Bob:''' It's just uh- it's just we've learned how to cope with it that's all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's a-that's a shame. I hope they- you know- don't go too far with this or you better get the police involved.
 '''Bob:''' We have but they don't do anything; they say this is an internet matter it's federal government
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Apparently-
 '''Bob:''' -federal government says we don't have any money.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -according to my son the police say we don't give crap about goes on the internet; they only care if it goes on-
 '''Bob:''' That's absolutely correct.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh I have to be going now Mister Chandler it's uh-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry, sorry somebody's been botherin' you but it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I'll just keep-I'll just- I'll block uh this whoever spoofin' me from now on. Well thank you for clearin' this up I uh hope things go better for you and your son. Have a good day sir.
 '''Bob:''' We've learned to just ignore it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' You should. Well have a good day and I hope the winter months don't give you the cold shoulder [''laughs'']
 '''Bob:''' I'll be alright.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Alright take care now.

== Chris calls Mary Lee Walsh and Michael Snyder ==
A troll using a soundboard of Chris prank calls [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Michael Snyder]]. However, both realize the caller to be a fake and hang up.

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==== Transcript (Mary) ====
'''Mary:''' Hello, Mary Lee Walsh?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You've been nothing but- nothing but a pain in my- a pain in my side! [''talking over Mary''] You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Mary:''' What are you- Who is this?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' [''again talking over Mary''] You shut up!
 '''Mary:''' I'm sorry, who am I speaking to?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian Weston Chandler.
 [''silence'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Pussy.
 '''Mary:''' Um, who?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian.
 '''Mary:''' Well, I'll track the number, what do you need-
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I invite you to come- I invite you to write this down.
 [''silence'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uh, yeah, you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over?
 [''Mary hangs up'']

==== Transcript (Michael) ====
'''Madeleine:''' The Game Place, this is Madeleine. How can I help you?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Madeleine:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uhh, who is this?
 '''Madeleine:''' This is Madeleine.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm sorry. Yeah, okay, well I've mis- I've misunderstan- okay, well I've- I've misun-
 '''Madeleine:''' Can I help you with something?
 [''pause, faint whispering in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' We have miscommunication.
 [''unintelligible; Chris and Madeleine talk at the same time'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uhh, who is this?
 '''Michael:''' Christian.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak little son of a bitch! [''talking over Michael'']
 '''Michael:''' You wanna talk to me, you need to ''talk'' to me.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uh, yeah, you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over?
 '''Michael:''' Yeah, so?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You can find me right now, I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Michael:''' I don't know who this is, but, uh, it's a waste of everbody's time.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up.
 [''silence; Michael talks faintly in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh, come on!
 [''silence; Michael talks faintly in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You shut up!
 [''silence; Michael talks faintly in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 [''silence; Michael talks faintly in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 [''silence'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Pussy.
 [''redialed'']
 '''Michael:''' The Game Place, this is Mike. How may I help you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen, boy. You get yo black ass down a gutter and stay there.
 [''pause'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' How about you talk to my wife, maybe she can talk some sense into your head?
 [''pause'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 [''call ends'']

== Bob calls Cole Smithey ==
A troll using a soundboard of Bob prank calls Christian's half brother, [[Cole Smithey]], but with little success...

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==== Transcript ====
'''Answering machine:''' Hi, you've reached Cole-
 '''Cole:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey, buddy.
 '''Cole:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen, boy. You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there.
 '''Cole:''' Hahahahahahaha.
 [''Default Skype hanging up sound, Cole hangs up'']
 [''Redial'']
 '''Answering machine:''' Hi, you've reached Cole at [''"*Bleeped out number*" is displayed on the screen, accompanied by Chris screaming'']. Please leave your telephone number twice, along with your message. Thanks. [''beep'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm Robert Chandler. Why don't you quit dialin' my number, and go somewhere and play a game with the gutter rats?
 [''Default Skype hanging up sound, troll hangs up'']
 [''tape runs out'']

==Chris calls Golden Corral==
The same troll from the above call utilizes his soundboard once again to prank Charlottesville's local [[Golden Corral]]. Lulz ensue when he engages in a verbal conflict with the restaurant [[Manajerk|Manager]].

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====Transcript====
'''Waitress:''' [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Waitress:''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' How are you?
 '''Waitress:''' Fine.
 '''Chris:''' I'm good!
 [''at the same time''] What? / My name is Christian Weston Chandler.
 '''Waitress:''' I can't understand you.
 '''Chris:''' My name is Christian.
 '''Waitress:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' You want me to caress your breasts?
 '''Waitress:''' Aah, hold on.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 [''pause; a radio can be heard playing in the background'']
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 [''silence'']
 '''Waiter 1''' Good morning, this is [unintelligible] speaking. How can I help you?
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Waiter 1''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Shut the hell up. You've been nothing but a- you've been nothing but a pain in my- just a pain in my side!
 '''Waiter 1''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' You shut up!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Oh, come on!
 [''call ends; redialed'']
 '''Waiter 2:''' Golden Corral, [unintelligible], how can I help you?
 '''Chris:''' What the hell. Why are you- why did you start doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Oh, come on!
 [''call ends; redialed'']
 '''Waiter 3:''' Golden Corral of Charlottesville, how can I help you?
 '''Chris:''' I invite you to come- I invite you to write this down. You can find me right now; I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Waiter 3:''' Hello?
 [''call ends; redialed'']
 '''Waiter 4:''' [unintelligible], how can I help you today?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over?
 '''Waiter 4:''' Yeah, you should, [unintelligible], you need the address, man?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 [''at the same time''] [unintelligible] / 14 Branch-
 '''Chris:''' No. 14 Branchland Court. Ruckersville.
 '''Waiter 4:''' I'm sorry, [unintelligible]?
 '''Chris:''' 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Waiter 4:''' In Ruckersville; that's your address. I don't need your address; do you need our address?
 '''Chris:''' I invite you to come- I-
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' What time do you think you can be by my place?
 '''Waiter 4:''' I'm not coming to your place.
 '''Chris:''' You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Waiter 4:''' Why would we come to your place, man?
 '''Chris:''' You've been nothing but a- you've been nothing but a pain in my- just a pain in my side!
 '''Waiter 4:''' Man, I think you need to stop calling this number, because I don't know what's up, but obviously you've [unintelligible] from somewhere, and you're calling our restaurant, and we do not deliver, and I don't know who you are, so [unintelligible] you need to stop calling, thank you.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, come on!
 [''call ends; redialed'']
 '''Waiter 5:''' Good afternoon, thank you for calling Golden Corral of Charlottesville, this is [unintelligible] speaking, how can I help you [unintelligible]?
 '''Chris:''' You shut up!
 '''Waiter 5:''' Okay, look. Let me be really frank with you. Stop calling this damn number, bitch. Alright? [unintelligible] I suggest-
 '''Chris:''' Shut the hell up.
 '''Waiter 5:''' [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' You shut up!
 [''call ends; redialed'']
 '''Manager:''' Hello!
 '''Chris:''' At least I don't go around lying, pretending that I am an astronaut.
 '''Manager:''' Who is this?
 '''Chris:''' My name is Christian.
 '''Manager:''' Why do you keep calling here?
 '''Chris:''' You've been nothing but a- you've been nothing but a pain in my- just a pain in my side!
 '''Manager:''' [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' My name is Christian Weston Chandler.
 '''Manager:''' Christian what?
 '''Chris:''' Christian Weston Chandler.
 '''Manager:''' Okay, well, you need to stop calling us [unintelligible], okay?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Manager:''' Yeah; otherwise I'm going to have to call the police.
 '''Chris:''' 14 Branchland Court. Ruckersville.
 '''Manager:''' 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville.
 '''Chris:''' Go ahead, go ahead and take it to the police!
 '''Manager:''' I will, because we have no idea who you are!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Manager:''' Now, do you have a home number? I can have somebody from our [unintelligible] contact you.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Manager:''' [unintelligible] so you don't want us calling your damn phone, do ya?
 '''Chris:''' 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Manager:''' Yep, that's what I'm writing down, man. And, uh, stop calling the damn phone, okay? 'Cause you're crazy.
 '''Chris:''' I don't know.

==Phone Harassment==
A troll using a soundboard of Bob harasses several people over the phone. Lulz ensues.

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====Transcript====

{{transcription}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Talk:IPods Down and Listen Up

2010-04-09T03:18:06Z

Pitifuladultlife:

==The End of the restriction on Niggos?==

This might be a huge development; Chris's use of the expression "Jungle Fever". Do this is purely for style or he's opening to the idea that African-American women are his new prowling ground? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 00:47, 16 December 2009 (CET)

he's just retarded and doesn't know what jungle fever means [[User:CWCattack|CWCattack]] 00:50, 16 December 2009 (CET)

*CWCattack is right. Don't read to much into it. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:09, 16 December 2009 (CET)

**Oh guys, [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php/Warning_-_Naughty_Women_%3B%29 how quickly we forget]. [[User:Klingerbgoode|Klingerbgoode]] 01:25, 19 December 2009 (CET)

He's a massive hypocrite and at this point he's desperate for any china, so he might have sex with a nonwhite woman given the chance. The "jungle fever" part is probably just idiocy though. See [[biological clock]] for another example. [[User:Skwrr|Skwrr]] 02:06, 16 December 2009 (CET)

== Beautifully sexy? ==

I think he's saying "You're a sleek, sexy panther." Not beautifully sexy. --[[User:Rob|Rob]] 01:36, 16 December 2009 (CET)Rob
*My bad. Good catch. I was way off. --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 03:14, 16 December 2009 (CET)
Nah, you weren't far off. Just listen to tubs. He tends to mash words together.--[[User:Rob|Rob]] 03:23, 16 December 2009 (CET)Rob

==What==

Okay, let me get this straight. Chris is telling the whole internet he's taking Viagra, pretty much confirming that his [[duck]] is bad at everything. How the hell did he get any? Is he taking it regularly? Is that unhealthy? Is it bad that I wouldn't feel bad if he died from blood pressure issues? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 02:49, 16 December 2009 (CET)
* Not sure about this, but I think some American doctors get money from pharmaceutical companies when they prescribe that company's drugs to patients. So if someone who's obviously not sexually active still wants Viagra, the doctor would have some at least some incentive to prescribe it for him. I'm not sure about this since I don't have health insurance and haven't seen a doctor in well over five years. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 03:05, 16 December 2009 (CET)
*There's also a good chance he's just saying it to sound bad ass (at least in his mind). If not, maybe he took it from Bob? I know he says his parents haven't had sex in like 20 years, but I always thought that was more of a childish "EW MY PARENTS DON'T HAVE SEX THAT'S GROOOOSSSS" type reaction. --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 03:48, 16 December 2009 (CET)
*I wonder if Chris took some Viagra before making this video. He seems rather energetic for once. --[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 05:07, 16 December 2009 (CET)
:* The stuff doesn't make you energetic, though. Just gives you a hard-on and a wicked headache. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 05:24, 16 December 2009 (CET)
::*My mistake. --[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 05:41, 16 December 2009 (CET)
::* Adderall will make you flip out like that the first few times, maybe he started snorting it? --[[User:Jeffex|Jeffex]] 17:10, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
*My drug handbook says: sildenafil (Viagra) Use Cautiously in: Uncontrolled Hypertension (check)...Anatomic penile deformity (check), drug-drug interactions with alcohol (check) can cause severe hypotension. So yeah. It looks like he will have blood pressure issues. I don't see any "confidence boosting" as a side-effect; maybe he wants to go on a rape rampage? [[User:Special|Special]] 17:48, 16 December 2009 (CET)
*I think he's always wanted to go on one of those.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:08, 16 December 2009 (CET)
*I don't know if it's just me, but my interpretation was not that he's saying he takes Viagra, but rather that Santa Claus does, since he's an old man. In that moment, he was playing as Santa, so it sounds as if those words are supposed to be from Santa, not him. [[User:Pitifuladultlife|Pitifuladultlife]] 03:18, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

==Analysis==

I removed the analysis firstly because it was crap, and secondly because there's no point in giving one until we know what the hell Chris is on. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:11, 16 December 2009 (CET)

==Pound pound pound pound==

I'm fairly sure he's saying "pump". Also, "ho-O", not "ho-ho". Is the confidence booster he's talking about = alcohol? He seems drunk or at least tipsy in this video. Which is disturbing, as he's most probably home alone (apart from possibly [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]). --[[User:Mgi|Mgi]] 05:26, 16 December 2009 (CET)

==Furry tendencies?==
Or just a colourfull metaphor? YOU decide. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 20:13, 16 December 2009 (CET)
*Well, ''Sonichu Special 3'' turned into Furry sex quite fast, right? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:53, 19 December 2009 (CET)

== Why...? ==

Why does this seem to disturb me more then the horrible eye-searing pain of the nudes or <s>The Necronomicon</s> Sonichu 8? something about a near-30 year old manchild singing about jungle fever and rape just seems...wrong. the kind of horrible wrong only a near-human robot can bring. [[User:DronePod|Herpity derp derp]] 23:49, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

because chris is getting desperater. i doubt he'll rape anyone...maybe scar a girl for life by him flashing his penis one day. a 6 year old girl. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:52, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Mumble 2

2010-04-02T01:53:50Z

Pitifuladultlife: oops

{{Improve|completing|finish transcribing the chat for the good of the CWCki}}

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|right|180px|In Mumble 2, a Wild [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]] appeared.]]

'''Mumble 2''' is the second [[Mumble]] chat that took place on 4 [[February 2009]]. More than an hour long.

This is a more organized Q&A type chat than [[Mumble 1]]. Questions from [[Clyde]] about [[sex]] in the [[comic]] and interesting tidbits about how Chris believes sex is the same as romance. This is pretty hard hitting, with stuff like how Chris is into [[McDonald's|fast food]] yet he's against tobacco. A lot of drama involving Clyde.

==Summary==

===Notes===
* Chris doesn't like Clyde because he stole his sweetheart.
* Audio cuts out for a minute before Chris says: "....HYMEN!" (You broke her hymen)
* Trolls claim [[Panda]] is with Clyde, Chris wants to hear her voice, they say she's busy
* 'She and I WERE very close'
* Chris didn't have 400 to 800 dollars to go and see Panda; claims he got this number from an airport website recommended by [[Miyamoto]]
* Insists on [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] being in [[Animal Crossing]]
* Doesn't want to talk about his deal with them
* Insists that he doesn't have to turn down his radio since his voice is louder (''it is horribly loud in the mic'')
* Panda gave Clyde all of the sites, etc.
* [[Sarah]] is going to be with Clyde, which Chris wants to deny
* These motherfuckers keep talking over each other
* Calls a troll's critique crap
* Bubbles must be aroused, she isn't wet all the time
* Bubbles is 90% water so does sperm just swim around forever? NO
* Clyde: This is a childrens' comic, why so much sex?
: Chris: It is romance. My best artwork is when they're making out 'romantic moments', drawn in protest to trolls. Shows that [[Rosechu]]s have vaginas, not [[duck]]s.
* Admits to maybe going overboard
* Trolls try to reason with him about the [[ED]] article: There wouldn't be an article if he didn't react like he does.
* Trolls say that TV-Y7 means NO SEX but Chris points to romantic anime that have making out (cartoons are for kids, whatever the content).
* Trolls talk about Japan being less strict about those things
* Everyone gets to vote in [[CWCville]], even if they're [[Niggos|black]]'.
* Got his idea from [[Mary Poppins]].
* Troll tries to give historical background about cough medicine putting kids to sleep. Chris insists it was the lullaby that put them to sleep.
* Discussion about Chris, 'gay message' sent by a troll
* He calls Clyde a scoundrel
* BELIEVE HIM HE IS STRAIGHT
* Chris tries to speak Mexican at 20:50
* Mexican speaks Mexican to him... he replies in Menglish
* [[4-cent_garbage]] is located in Mexico
* Someone says that he needs to improve his Mexican
* Chris is against smoking, CWCville is smoke and alcohol free
* Rehash of why [[tobacky]] is bad, his position on it, alcohol=bar fights
* Chris' dad smoked and had several bypasses, has a pacemaker and has had heart attacks
* Mention of his hair cuttings for his fans
* Chris was doing math in his head, got in car crash.
* Chris has taken college level math. Took trigonometry.
* Trolls gang up on Clyde for stealing Panda
* Time will tell when Chris will make the money he would have in the Nintendo deal
* Trolls bash Clyde for his pot smoking
* Chris doesn't watch news because it's bad news =(
* Bashing of the Mexican
* Chris can type 30 to 100 WPM
* Chris can't type and talk at the same time
* Chris says [[PSN]] is free though Clyde(?) points to the 1000 dollars Chris spent on PSN
* Chris has been typing for 15 minutes now and it is VERY loud
* Chris has been busy IRL therefore the comic release doesn't have a date
* Someone points to nudes on [[YouTube]].
* He does not have it on the YouTube, but he isn't going to take it anymore.
* Claims some of the photos are photoshopped.
* Clyde offers help to take ED page down.
* Chris denies taking those pictures, doesn't want to talk about it, making him uncomfortable.
* Some of the pictures are real. When questioned which ones are fake, Chris can't answer.
* Chris hates Harry Potter because it was in competition with [[Pokemon]]!
* Chris is too stressed to read Vivian's [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|book]], but likes the cover though!
* Polly, who has been talking the whole time is confronted by Chris who thinks she is a guy. Polly is upset. Chris apologizes.
* [[Jimmy Hill]] has launched his Sonichu show
* More Mexican talk at 55:10
* Chris giggles and sighs happily when Cassie, another Mexican, compliments him and when she leaves he says 'Chiquita Bonita'
* Rabbichoso talk (Sonichu.info)
* Classic trolls are leaving Chris alone.
* Chris likes Steel Angel Kurumi (''quote from [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steel_Angel_Kurumi Wikipedia]: often classified as ecchi due to the focus on fanservice and panty shots'')
* Chris claims to be very strong, could beat Clyde up. Says he would show Clyde a [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force| Hard Day's Night]], and would give Clyde pain.
* ShinyMarshtomp makes an appearance? Likes Rabbichoso
* Chris likes to eat at [[Country Cookin]] (''like Golden Corral'')
* Chris likes to imagine his first time.
* Clyde says the first time is awful, Chris said it was because Clyde prematurely ejaculated
* Watch porn with naked women to cure your gay
* Guys sitting next to you = gay coming on to you
* Falsion has been in the chat room and is afraid he is gay
* A wild Snorlax appears

==Transcript==
===Waiting for Chris===
 '''Polly:''' I can't wait to hear Chris! I'm a huge fan!
 '''Clyde:''' Oh, goddamn these noodles are fantastic. Man, I wish I could eat like this everyday.
 '''Troll:''' Have you eaten the rice balls?
 '''Clyde:''' No, no, no. These are noodles. These are-
 '''Troll:''' ''[Interrupts]'' Fan-fucking-tastic.
 '''Clyde:''' Now they're all gone, it's fantastic, you know?
 '''Troll:''' Sweetangie is Chris. Or, we think so.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I don't think this is him.
 '''Clyde:''' It's definitely not the real Chris.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm disappointed there's so many impostors out there. Kinda my fault, but, you know, if it weren't- ''[unintelligible]'' -hard to come by.
 '''Troll:''' His mic was working last time he was here, just fine.
 '''Troll:''' He usually capitalizes his words, like in every sentence.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I don't think this is- I don't think this is him.
 '''Troll:''' Is it set to push to talk or something?
 ''[Trolls talk over each other]''
 '''Clyde:''' It's called push to talk. Push to talk.
 '''Troll:''' No, just have him set it to voice activity. It works so much better that way.
 '''Jack''': You guys are fucking idiots.
''[Trolls talk over each other again]''
 '''Troll:''' You guys scared him off by being guys.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, you fucking jackasses. Nice going.
 '''Troll:''' Was that even the real...?
 '''Troll:''' Yes, that was the real Chris.
 '''Troll:''' He's too much of a pussy to talk.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, cause you scared him, or some - No, or he's too stupid to be.
 ''[Trolls Laugh]''

===Chris Arrives===
 '''Chris:''' ''[Chris arrives, with radio playing loudly.]'' Hello.
 ''[Trolls all greet him.]''
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, now-
 '''Troll:''' Why haven't you got your microphone working?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know why my microphone [is] messed up.
 '''Troll:''' I'm sorry, but we had an impostor here before.
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm registered. I've got myself registered now. So, uh, hopefully-
 '''Troll:''' That's probably why. It had to like, uh- calibrate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well I calibrated now.
 '''Clyde:''' So, Chris, have you seen Rabbichoso's, uh, oh it's fantastic.
 '''Chris:''' I don't give a crap about your stupid pencil sketch.
 ''[Audio cuts out]''
 '''Chris:''' Well for one thing, you stole my sweetheart!
 ''[Cutout continues]''

===PandaHalo, Trip to Redmond and Animal Crossing===
 '''Chris:''' You broke her hymen!
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I know it's a terrible mistake, but I plan to make it up to her. I'm getting married and uh- I'm doing the things I should do.
 '''Chris:''' Oh and another thing, if she is really over there with you now, then put her on the mic. Please.
 '''Jack''': She's not- He never said-
 '''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, she's very busy, ok. She's very busy.
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Clyde:''' She's not over here right now. Okay? So lets drop it.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, fine. Well could you tell her to please send me a message lettin' me know, for sure, so I can know- so I can know to-
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Talks over Chris]'' I'll let her know whatever you want, but it's her life. She doesn't have to send you a message. You failed her. You failed her.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' She and I were very close.
 '''Clyde:''' If you we're so close, then why didn't you go?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' Because I had- Aw, hang on a second. How do I- oh, that's right. This thing. Right. Mmm. Hold on a sec. Oh yeah, because I did not have four to eight hundred dollars!
 '''Clyde:''' It doesn't cost that much to go cross-country man.
 '''Chris:''' Yes it does. I know, I saw it on an airport website. Where I was be- Where I was- recommended to me by Mr. Miyamoto.
 '''Clyde:''' You know, you can drive there. It's not that hard.
 '''Troll:''' What happened with that? I thought, um, didn't you have a deal with them or something? I heard a rumor that your characters were going to be in Animal Crossing.
 '''Chris:''' Well, they are in Animal Crossing. And I did- and I do- I did have a deal with them.
 '''Troll:''' What happened though?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]'' I'd rather not say.
 '''Troll:''' Oh.

===Chris's Radio, Clyde and Criticism===
 '''Troll:''' Chris, why don't you turn down the TV? It's hard to hear you.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Annoyed sigh]'' I do not have a TV turned on in here.
 '''Troll:''' I can hear it.
 '''Chris:''' I have a radio.
 '''Troll:''' I hear something in the background.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Burping throughout sentence]'' Well that's the- that would b- the radio. And it is not that loud.
 '''Troll:''' But it shows up pretty well on your microphone mic. With due respect.
 '''Chris:''' But still, my voice is louder than the radio.
 '''Troll:''' Ah goo- ahh given.
 '''Polly:''' Uh, Chris? Uh, when are you going to do the new Sonichu comic?
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Says something over Polly]''
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]'' Uh, I'll answer Polly's question. I'm not sure. It's, uh, it's in progress right now, I'm drawing it up.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, okay. I can't wait to read it!
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, we'll see.
 '''Troll:''' Chris!
 '''Troll:''' Listen, Clyde kind of has admin on here, so we can't really do anything about him. So, yeah. I don't know.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Hard to hear over Chris's radio]'' ...with you guys. I love you guys. Just as much as Chris loves you guys. Right?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]''
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I was angry. I was angry. But I'm calm now.
 '''Troll:''' Don't try to hurt any other person from now on.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm doing the best I can. I'm doing the best I can.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I have much- I do not have much to say in response to that right now. Because I'm ticked off.
 '''Troll:''' Don't let him get to you.
 '''Troll:''' You're no better than he is, if you give in.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Says something unintelligible]''
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]''
 '''Troll:''' Hey, Chris, I just wanted to let you know I'm a huge fan of the comics, and I'm glad you keep doing what you're doing. You're doing a great job, and just keep it up, alright man?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, I appreciate the, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? The, the, uh- well, the encouraging words. Encouragement. I appreciate the encouragement. Well, there are things, uh- I- er- current events I do not appreciate. I appreciate the positive encouragement.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I can't really do anything. He took over the IRC channel. I used to be the owner. I mean Clyde. He's like taking over everything.
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, it was because Panda gave it to me, you know. But anyway, I mean, you can't just listen to encouragement, you've got to listen to criticism, man. Criticisms are what make you better, you learn from your mistakes. You learn from mistakes.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]''
 '''Troll:''' Be right back guys, my wife is calling.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Clyde:''' I don't- I don't- Tons of people don't like the Rabbichoso art style, but you know, I gotta improve on that. That's something I plan to improve on. There's a lot of criticism in the [[Fan:Sonichu is Dead|death of Sonichu]], right?
 '''Chris:''' What? What did you just say?
 '''Clyde:''' There's a lot of criticism of Sonichu. Right?
 '''Chris:''' Oh. For a moment there I thought you said something different.
 '''Clyde:''' What, what did you think I said? I'm just saying, there are people who like it and people who don't like it. You gotta start taking in those suggestions. You know?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. So many things that will be improved upon. But, I just have to hear from Sarah herself that she really is going to be with you, Clyde. I have to hear it from herself. It's one thing to hear it from you and then it's- then on that note, it's just I find it very hard to believe. So I have to hear it from her.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I kinda think that Rabbichoso sucks. I mean, I think it could be funny, but it honestly looks like it's drawn by a kindergartener.
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Troll:''' I mean, Sonichu has evolved over the years. You can see that the art's getting better. Rabbichoso doesn't even look like something a beginner would do, honestly. I mean, ''[Interrupted]''
 '''Chris:''' A whole bunch of crap!
 ''[Everyone starts talking at once]''
 '''Polly:''' Also, Sonichu is in color.
 '''Clyde:''' I know, I accept his criticism. But you just called it crap! Now that's just rude.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I have emotions going behind me- uh, behind that opinion.

===Cassie===
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Chris, did you get my message.
 '''Chris:''' Uh...
 '''Clyde:''' Aren't you going to be the gentleman, then? Aren't you gonna be the gentleman?
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' I just want to ask you, Chris. I'm Cassie's friend. She- she's worried sick about you. Why haven't you emailed her?
 '''Chris:''' I did email her! As a- I- I haven't gotten any re-plies from her. I have emailed her and I have instant messaged her on A.I.M. and Skype. I haven't heard back from her. I don't know what's going on there.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' ...you emailed her.
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' When was the last time you emailed her?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, hang on, I'll check.
 '''Polly:''' Um, Chris? I have a question. My fa- One of my favorite new characters is, um, Simonla, and like, I also like Zapina as well. Um, are they gonna have bigger parts in the series later on?
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, could you repeat that question?
 '''Polly:''' Um, I was wondering if Simonla and Zapina will either have bigger parts in the series later on.
 '''Chris:''' [[Sonichu_10#The_Final_Countdown|Possibly]]. Possibly, but, uh, I can't say for sure. Oh, and, uh, to answer your question, uh- in answer to, uh, I believe, uh, Screwhead, who asked? It was about four days ago. About four days ago.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Yeah. Four days ago? Okay, I'll tell her to check it out.
 '''Chris:''' The last email I sent was about four days ago.
 '''Troll:''' She'll contact you in a while, though.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' I'll tell her to check it out and- and thanks Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Mm.

===Bubbles's Pussy and Sex in the Comics===
 '''Troll:''' Hey, Chris? I have a question.
 '''Chris:''' Yes?
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, my favorite character is Bubbles, I kinda liked the, uh, the thing she had going with Blake, where she was kind of keeping the relationship secret. I thought that was kinda clever. I was wondering, uh, she's a water-type, so does that mean that her vagina is always wet, or does she have to be aroused like a normal woman?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, aroused. That's applied for all the, uh, Rosechus there. And also, like, you know, she's not just a water-type, she's also- she's a water- and electric-type, like uh- oh, shoot- What's the name of that one? Originated from Gold-Silver-Crystal series, uh, evolves from Chinchou? Lanturn. And she has, uh, she has Volt Absorb ability.
 '''Troll:''' Oh, I see.
 '''Troll:''' Uh, Chris, another question following Bubbles. Uh, her body is 90% water, and now this thing about the whole sexual intercourse - about it. Now, don't take this rude, and you don't need to answer me...
 '''Chris:''' No, that's fine.
 '''Troll:''' ...I totally respect your creative work. My wife actually got me into this, uh, show actually. So, what happens is- like, as you know, like, semens are like little fishes in themselves. Would that mean, I mean, would they actually have a route to fly into the egg, in theory, or do they just swim around her whole body, just forever just swimming around.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. The, uh, the internal or- the internal organs uh, for the Rosechus are pretty much the same thing, so I'd say pre- about, uh, as good chance as most any other mammal.
 '''Troll:''' Oh, so you mean she's able to control her density a little bit more. She- I understand now. She's able to control more her density from the 90% water. Okay. That pretty much answers it just perfectly. That's been bothering me at work. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Clyde:''' I got another question, Chris, about this whole sexual thing. I mean, this is a children's comic, right? Why is there so much sex in it?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. It's called romance, and my- and my- if you'll notice throughout the comics my best pieces of artwork among which were those where dey were kissing and making out. Romantic moments.
 '''Clyde:''' There's a hidden page-
 '''Chris:''' ''[Interrupting Clyde]'' And because- and because- and because of the tension from, uh, the trolls and Encyclopedia Dramatica, I just felt like doing that in protest against them.
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, but childre-
 '''Jack''' ''[Interrupting Clyde]'' Yes but how is that really a protest? That, you know, you know, are, are you like referencing to the 60's when women burned their bras? That was in protes- That was feminism. Saying that they weren't slaves to men. Do you even understand the whole thing?
 ''[Multiple voices are heard at once]''
 '''Chris:''' Now, to tell you the truth, I never really thought about, I never really thought about that when I-
 '''Jack''' ''[Interrupting Chris]'' Then how is, stripping was, how was that protest-
 '''Chris:''' ''[Interrupting Jack Thaddeus]'' It shows that they have vaginas and NOT dicks. 
 '''Jack''' Well you know the dick thing was the fact that they were just, you know, mocking you. I think you went overboard with that.
 '''Chris:''' Well maybe I did. Maybe I did.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, you did, because that seems kind of excessive, kind of-
 '''Troll:''' ''[Interrupts]'' I don't think they would have even bothered to write about an article about you if you didn't just keep reacting like that.

===Chris justifies sex in a kids' comic===

 '''Troll:''' I have another question.
 '''Troll:''' The point some of us are trying to make is, if it's TV-Y7 that means there should really be no sex in it at all.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[unintelligible over other people]''
 '''Chris:''' That's pretty much incorrect, I mean, uh, there's so many romantic anime that's TV-Y7, and they shoul- they have making out.
 '''Clyde:''' You know, a lot of things in Japan, Japan has stricter standards-not stricter, I mean looser guidelines than America. It's much different.
 '''Chris:''' I hear ya.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, I was just wondering what Bubbles, um, she has a, that water whirlwind attack, I was just curious if you had any plans to make-
 '''Chris:''' ''[Butting in]'' By the way, that was a Whirl- Whirlpool.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, Whirlpool, sorry, sorry, Whirlpool, but do you have any plans to mix an, uh, Electric-type attack with that, since water conducts electricity, right? It could be a very powerful-
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupts]'' Yeah, she did, she did an electric attack amongst the- the walls of that Whirlpool and she let out. In case you didn't know, there's a- little bits of lightning bolts among which-
 '''Troll:''' Oh, oh, I'm sor- I didn't notice that, I'm sorry, I'll go take another look. Thank you.
 '''Max?:''' Hey Chris-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max?:''' You make some pretty sweet Little Big Planet levels.
 '''Chris:''' Thank you.

===Chris on Benadryl babysitting===

 '''Clyde:''' Oh, there's a message from Cogs on the side, it's about, uh, do women not have the right to vote already in CWCville.
 '''Chris:''' No, ervy- Everybody, no matter what age, no matter what gender or race, ervybody has the right to vote in CWCville. Even if they're black.
 '''Clyde:''' Then what's up with the "Votes for Women" thing, I was-
 '''Troll:''' Not just vote women, but- ''[interrupted]'' any other ethnicities, and gays?
 '''Troll:''' I don't understand-
 '''Chris:''' I did that- heard it in Mary Poppins.
 '''Jack:''' What? Mary Poppins?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Troll:''' Aw, man, Mary Poppins?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Mary Poppins.
 '''Polly:''' I remember that movie.
 '''Troll:''' Aw, yeah, that movie.
 '''Chris:''' It's a classic. It's my favorite movie of all time.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, that movie was, like, based in the 1900s.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but still I- still I agreed with that message there-
 '''Clyde:''' Taken out of context, that makes it seem like CWCville's set in the 1960s.
 '''Jack:''' What message? That children should be given cough medicine so they'll go to sleep?
 '''Chris:''' ''What?''
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, that's what women used to do back in- That's what mothers, friggin' nurses and stuff used to do to kids in the 1900s, is give children, like, you know, cough medicine.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[laughter]''
 '''Chris:''' Cause- cause the medicine- uh, correction, the medicine did not put them to sleep, there was a lullaby, not the cough medicine. They only had to take the cough medicine-
 '''Jack:''' No cough medicine-
 '''Chris:''' ...because it rained, before dere, and it was not, and it was to, uh-
 '''Jack:''' Rain means cough medicine doesn't have anything to do with each other. That's not how friggin' germs are spread, or colds are gotten. Colds are gotten through germs, not the rain.
 '''Troll:''' How is cough medicine any different from today's parents that just let their kids watch TV until they fall asleep? I mean, it's just as bad.
 '''Jack:''' Well- Cough medicine has a lot to do with the psychological effects of it. Obviously if you get- if you keep giving fre-
 '''Troll:''' Thanks, Samantha, that was delicious.
 '''Jack:''' What?
 '''Troll:''' It's my, uh, Samantha-
 '''Polly:''' Yeah, that's we're all saying, cause I've heard that there's a lot of different chemicals in cough medicine. You could pick up a ''[unintelligible]''
 '''Jack:''' I don't even take cough medicine, because I'm not a pussy.
 '''Troll:''' Uh, so.
 '''Troll:''' Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, I never put any references, I never did any references or plan any references to cough medicine or anything of that sort.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Well, Chris, Cassie says the last e-mail she got from you was on the 17th. How 'bout your being gay? Is that true?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' That wa- That was somebody had- That was Clyde hacking through my e-mail and spammed that to my contacts.
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, I definitely did not do that-
 '''Jack:''' You're a scoundrel-
 '''Chris:''' -a slanderous lie.
 '''Clyde:''' I did not do that.
 '''Troll:''' Whoa-whoa-whoa. Wow. Well, thanks for that. She was worried that you were- that you don't like her.
 '''Jack:''' You're a scoundrel, Clyde.
 '''Clyde:''' I didn't do that. That was someone else.
 '''Polly:''' I was wondering, because I've heard other news too, I was really hoping that you weren't gay.
 '''Chris:''' Believe me, I'm straight.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, okay. I'll take your word for it.
 '''Chris:''' Thank you. And, uh-
 '''Clyde:''' Cogs- Cogs got a way- she showed us that, okay? I mean, you only ''[unintelligible]''

===Chris's fail-riffic Spanish===

 '''Troll:''' So, Chris.
 ''(Trolls talk over each other)''
 '''Troll:''' Cassie didn't get your last e-mail.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Troll:''' Cassie didn't get your last e-mail.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, Screwhead's from Mexico. I heard you like Spanish, so.
 '''Troll:''' Hola, Chris.
 '''Troll:''' You know Spanish, right?
 '''Chris:''' Sí. Conoso Mexico. Tomé dos años ''[unclear]'' mi escuela secundaria. (Yes, I know Mexico. I took two years [in, possibly] my secondary school.)
 '''Troll:''' Has venido en Mexico? (Have you come to Mexico?)
 '''Chris:''' Uh, lo siento? (Uh, I'm sorry?)
 '''Troll:''' Has estado en Mexico? (Have you been to Mexico?)
 '''Chris:''' Estoy Mexico? No. (I am Mexico? No.)
 '''Troll:''' ''[slowly]'' Has estado, um, in Mexico. Has venir? (Have you been to Mexico? Have gone?)
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Uh, no, I hav- no, no tengo pansars. ''[sic]'' (no, I don't have pansars (?))
 '''Troll:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I think, uh, I think I meant to say- I'm pretty sure-
 '''Jack:''' Did you just say you don't wear pants?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, I was trying to say, ah, I don't have plans to go in Mexico at the moment.
 '''Troll:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, I see.
 '''Chris:''' That's what I understood what he was saying there.
 '''Jack:''' Chris, did you know that, that 4-cent garbage website is located in Mexico?
 '''Chris:''' Huh.
 '''Jack:''' That's why-
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, that's why they can't get it shut down.
 '''Chris:''' Mm.
 '''Troll:''' ''[unintelligible]'' borders, plus it's cheaper to run sites over there; they have, like, several servers.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Troll:''' Chris. Cassie wanted to talk to you, but she couldn't make it here, well, and, she wants to be your Spanish teacher, because she says that you've got room to improve your Spanish.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Oh, that Cassie. Yeah, I'm sorry, I thought you were- I got mixed up. Um... Yeah, um, I'm sorry, I, uh, I haven't talked to that- I haven't talked to Cassie in a while, but I've been mostly talking to, uh, her gal- her, uh, gal-pal and I'm sure- I'm sure she'd tell you a lot about her...

===In which the trolls discuss bar fights===

 '''Troll:''' Hey Chris, how- how does Sonichu keep Rosechu from spending more than a hundred dollars at the mall? I've always wondered how he could manage to do that. I've always had problems with that myself.
 '''Chris:''' That wa- That time at the mall, it was, uh, Kel loaned the credit card. And it's like, yeah- she gave- she gave Sonichu the responsibility of that credit card. She did.
 '''Troll:''' ''[unintelligible]''
 '''Clyde:''' Now, I've always given my advice on cannabis, you should do the ''[unintelligible]'', Cogs Chris, but I think she wants your response.
 '''Jack:''' Chris, one of my friends sent me this picture, and I think you might find it kinda disturbing just because they say it's proof that you're gay.
 '''Chris:''' Aw yeah, I saw that, that's just a crappy Photoshop.
 '''Jack:''' No, that one doesn't- this one doesn't look Photoshopped at all.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm not gonna look at it.
 '''Jack:''' Oh, you're not? Oh.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, uh, you say you're against smoking?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. As a matter of fact, CWCville is a smoke-free, non-alcoholic city.
 '''Jack:''' ''[partially drowned out]'' That's what we call a totalitarian state...
 '''Troll:''' Oh, and, uh, in the pilot episode with Seth McFarlane, of, you know, Family Guy? He's always smoking. What do you think about that?
 '''Clyde:''' Go smoke.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I just- I just take that with a grain of salt, and, uh, you know, that's what--
 '''Troll:''' I mean, if he can smoke, why can't anyone else? I mean, it's-
 '''Chris:''' Because it causes cancer!
 '''Jack:''' So does a lot of things.
 '''Polly:''' It could be a prop pipe.
 '''Chris:''' In any case, I'm not- in any, in any case I've never done it and I never will.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, but eating too much fast food can give you a heart attack. I mean... so many things are deadly for you.
 '''Jack:''' What about fast food, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' My father used to smoke and he went through a whole bunch of heart attacks. He suffered three-
 '''Jack:''' ''[Interrupts]'' Well, I think that might have to do more with his weight.
 '''Chris:''' He suffered through three or four triple bypasses.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Chris, I think that's.. that's more like a weight issue.
 '''Chris:''' He has a pacemaker!
 '''Troll:''' Chris, eh...
 '''Troll:''' Hey ya guys, leave him alone. Ya know, my granddad, he smoked most of his life. He quit for 25 years and still died of lung cancer. I mean that's just the way it is. And your body never gets rid of it.
 '''Jack:''' Well yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, what about ''[pause]'' Chris, what about fast food? That's- that's bad for you.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Hey Chris. Chris, could you do me a favor and send an email to Cassie? She's very worried about you.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Yeah sure, I'll send her an email later.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Okay, thanks.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, I've got uh, a certain someone you know-
 '''Chris:''' No no.
 '''Clyde:''' -she has to, uh, she wants to ask you w-
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Also, she said something about some hair.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Yeah, that's uh... that's another issue right there. Um, hmmm. I'll talk to her about that.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, does, uh, drinking cause cancer?
 '''Chris:''' No, but it causes liver dysfunction and likely bar fights and automobile accidents.
 '''Jack:''' Wait, bar fights, but—
 '''Chris:''' Bar fights!
 '''Jack:''' -but I don't think that bar fights are that big of a problem.
 '''Troll:''' I think bar fights are awesome.
 ''[People agree bar fights are awesome]''
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' But bar fights are bad. I got into a bar fight once and one of my hands got cut and two fingers from my left hand. Bar fights suck.
 '''Polly:''' ''[Unintelligible]''
 '''Jack:''' Well, I think that might be more because you're Mexican. Are you sure you didn't lose them picking bo- picking grapes and- or something?
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' No, Mexican people are more more- more much macho man; we get into bigger fights. We're more awesome.
 '''Jack:''' No- I think it might be because you got your hands stuck in some machinery when you were out picking in the vineyards.
 '''Troll:''' I don't know about you guys, but I like- I like having bar fights.
 ''[Trolls talk over each other]''

===Chris Crashes Due To Math===

 '''Clyde:''' You don't have to be drunk to be in a bar fight or in an automobile accident, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but they increase the likeliness of it.
 '''Clyde:''' You've been in an autobile— automobile accident, I mean, were you drunk?
 '''Chris''': No, I was distracted.
 '''Jack''': Uh, by what? I mean, it's kinda hard to be dist— you gotta be focused on driving man-
 '''Chris:''' I was doing math in my head.
 '''Jack''': Wait, math in your—
 [Trolls talk over each other]
 '''Chris''': My mind got distracted by being its own calculator.
 '''Falsion''': Are you good at math?
 '''Polly''': ''[unclear]'' Is that for school?
 '''Jack''': Are you some kind of savant?
 '''Troll''': That's impossible.
 '''Chris''': What?
 '''Falsion''': Guys, you're getting ''[unclear]''
 '''Troll''': Chris, are you like a mathematic genius or something?
 (pause)
 '''Cassie's Friend''': You know some artist people have like superpowers in their head. They can do like geniuses and add really well. ''[interrupted briefly by Jack saying something else about savant]'' Chris you are already an artist. Do you have any like, magical powers?
 '''Troll''': Yeah, i heard autistic people are really good at math.
 '''Chris''': Mm. Well not all the stereo- some of that sounds like stereotypes.
 '''Troll''': ''[speaking over Chris]'' ...it has to do with mental ability; I mean, what's the...
 '''Chris''': I mean I don't know - i mean I'm not saying that I'm a total genius. I mean I know- I know enough to get by.
 '''Clyde:''' What's the highest level of math you've taken Chris?
 (pause)
 '''Chris''': College level.
 '''Clyde:''' No I mean like algebra, or calculus or...?
 (pause)
 '''Chris''': Yeah. I believe I just did trigonometry.
 '''Clyde:''' Very impressive.
 (long pause)
 '''Troll''': So I was wondering. When did you get the CAD degree? I figured it's like a fine arts degree or something? I mean wha-
 '''Chris''': ''[interrupting]'' I designed a whole- I designed buildings and machinery and such along there. I designed the whole CWCVille shopping center.
 '''Jack''': Why don't you have a job then?
 '''Clyde:''' Your fans would love to see that Chris.
 '''Max?:''' So Chris-
 '''Troll''': ''[interrupting]'' -I mean use that to design like, actual buildings?
 '''Chris''': I think i just told you i designed the CWCVille sho-
 '''Troll''': ''[interrupting]'' I don't mean in your comic. I'm just saying-
 ''[Audio cuts]''

===Clyde Isn't Popular And Chris Should Program===

 '''Chris''': Well it's a good st-
 '''Troll''': Chris...
 '''Chris''': Yeah?
 '''Jack''': So i heard you got some nudes up there on Youtube.
 '''Chris''': Uh, I'll be putting an update on da Youtube soon, but not right now.
 '''Troll''': I'm just thinking maybe you could like, you know, get a degree in game design and make the Sonichu game?
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah man, it's not that hard to learn programming. C++ man.
 ''Falsion''': Clyde, he hates you, why are you talking?
 '''Clyde:''' I'm just giving him some advice, i mean C++ is-
 '''Jack''': ''[interrupting]'' Why are you here? We don't like you. You totally ruined Chris's life.
 '''Clyde:''' I didn't ruin his life. He ruined his own life.
 '''Troll''': Yes you did. You've ruined his life. You raped his girlfriend.
 ''[Literally everyone in the mumble speaks at once over each other]''
 '''Clyde:''' If he was the man he said he was, he'd have gone to Nintendo, made all that money. How- how are you going to make money now Chris?
 '''Chris''': Time will tell.
 ''[everyone speaks again]''
 '''Troll''': Yeah, time will tell Clyde.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[unclear]'' -need a plan, you know?
 '''Troll''': I'm just thinking uh, if- uh- would you be interested in getting a degree in game design. Making the game or something? Like if you had to?
 '''Chris''': Hm. Maybe but uh- I still have things to sort out in my real life.
 '''Troll''': Yeah it's kinda unfortunate what happened with the Nintendo thing.
 '''Chris''': Yeah - hang on a second, I'll be right back. Mm- ''[clattering]''
 '''Clyde:''' So be honest guys am I really that much of a bother. I mean...
 '''Jack''': Yeah you kind of are.
 '''Troll''': You're like a total dickfart.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[muffled]''
 '''Troll''': You realise weed causes cancer?
 '''Jack''': Yeah.
 '''Troll''': I didn't know that.
 '''Jack''': And it causes the munchies. You're gonna get fat, Clyde.
 '''Clyde:''' It's okay, man, because I work out.
 '''Jack''': Do you play Guitar Hero standing up?
 '''Clyde:''' I play Guitar Hero while on the treadmill.
 '''Polly''': Will the Sonichu game be a- ''[muffled]'' -or a Wii one?
 '''Jack''': It be a Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Wii would like to play.
 '''Polly''': Oh. I only got a DS.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Chris, I heard you are very good at HTML. Why don't you make a HTML Sonichu game? That would be awesome.
 '''Troll''': I don't think you can make a game in HTML.
 '''Chris''': A- anyway I came back...
 '''Jack''': Chris? How many courses did you have to take to get that degree in CAD?
 '''Troll''': -pretty sure you can make a game in HTML-
 '''Chris''': ''[speaking over]'' I'm took abo- took about two- took about two years to four years.
 '''Clyde:''' I mean, if you can write HTML you can write C++, make your own games. Pretty simple man.
 '''Chris''': Hm. Well it's something I'll consider.
 '''Troll''': Clyde why are you talking to him? He hates you.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm trying to give him some suggestions. I'm not insulting him, ok?
 '''Troll''': HTML seems kinda outdated, so to speak.
 '''Chris''': I learn- I took two HTML classes so at least I know how to do- at least I know the ins and outs when it comes to like, workin' on it in the raw data- in the notepad.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': So you don't use Dreamweaver?
 '''Chris''': ''[interrupting]'' I also use Net- also use Netscape composer.
 ''[Someone starts singing 'Dreamweaver']''
 '''Troll''': I heard they went bankrupt or something.
 '''Chris''': I don't- i don- i don't listen to news because I don't care about bad news.
 '''Troll''': But that's not bad news that's just safety...
 ''[Talking over each other]''
 '''Jack''': Why you gotta bring this bad vibe in here?
 '''Troll''': Ok ok I'll chill, I'm sorry it's just my wife- ''[can't hear over Chris typing extremely loud]''
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Chris you don't hear about these ones in a while. Like yesterday some guy in my town got run over by a train and he- he died. And that's a really bad thing, you know but you have to hear about it.
 '''Jack''': Yeah but that's because you're Mexican. You Mexicans always play around the train tracks, what's with you?
 (pause)
 '''Clyde:''' No come on, don't be racist.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': It's because Mexicans are stupid. I'm suprised I can use a computer.
 '''Polly''': ''[muffled]'' CrassCrab why do you have to be so mean?
 '''Jack''': 'Cause my mother was raped by a Mexican. And I'm part Me- ''[muffled]''
 '''Troll''': I'm sorry man.
 '''Polly''': That isn't fair to take it out on every other Mexican out there.
 '''Troll''': His rule applied to millions. Just ignore him.
 '''Jack''': No I'm not my mother was raped by mexicans.
 '''Clyde:''' CrassCrab I'm tired of listening to you, get out of here.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Not all Mexicans are like that we- we- I am as Mexican guy. Not all Mexican guys are- ''[drowned out by typing]''
 '''Troll''': Don't get me started on them. But that will be another day. Cause I'm sick of hearing bad news.

===Chris Types Fast (And Hates Hex-Box)===

 '''Troll''': So Chris what are you uh- typing there?
 '''Chris''': Uh, I'm typing a email.
 '''Troll''': How many words can you type? How fast can you type? Sounding fast there.
 '''Chris''': Uhhh say about uh- sorta between thirty and a hundred.
 '''Clyde:''' That's quite a good range man.
 '''Troll''': You're like "The Flash", minus the red jump-suit.
 '''Polly''': Oh Chris um- I was wondering- ''[unclear]'' -would it be uh a Wii game or a DS game or both. I only own DS and I don't have any money for a Wii.
 '''Chris''': ''[overlapping]'' Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wii, DS and Pla- hopefully uh- possibly uh, Playstation 2 or 3. Never on [[Hex_Box|Hex-Box]].
 '''Troll''': When you gonna do this shit?
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Why don't you like the Hex-Box? I mean I have an Xbox, I would love to play online with you.
 '''Troll''': I'd like to say this. Before Chris says anything about that I just wanna say that today my wife came home from the mall shopping for her usual clothes, that Gucci purse i had to buy for her. You know what she came home with? I wanted a PS3 but you know what she gave me was a frickin' Xbox 360. The Elite one? ''[someone speaks over]'' I know, I kept telling her like "Honey this isn't what i wanted. I wanted the Playstation 3 so I can play LittleBigPlanet, Metal Gear Solid and Sonic Unleashed"
 '''Chris''': You can put Sonic Unleashed on the Hex Box as well as Wii.
 '''Polly''': ''[Too whiney to make out]''
 '''Troll''': So Nintendo just- rejected your offer? Cause I- I heard a rumour that there was going to be a Sonichu game or something.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Chris uh. Cassie wants you to send her your Wii number so she can talk to you on the Wii.
 '''Chris''': Alright uhhhhh. I'll get- have to get my Wii number now.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Send it to her in an email please.
 '''Troll''': Yeah they completely hate Sony. And they hate Microsoft as well. I mean this guy, Reggie? He always talks about kicking their ass and stuff. He's kinda crazy.
 '''Polly''': I know. Reggie's very mean he never brought out ''[something]'' to America.
 '''Troll''': Yeah i wanted to play that game.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[talked over]'' -I'm tellin' you guys. Reggie's just a great ''[unclear]''
 '''Polly''': Like what?
 '''Clyde:''' I can- I can't say anything ok but... you'll see.
 '''Max?:''' So Chris.
 '''Troll''': Yeah so I don't think like if you got the deal with Nintendo I don't think they'd put it on like mu- like anyhting else but the Wii or DS. Yeah, cause that Reggie guy he frickin' hates Sony. And Microsoft.
 '''Jack''': Wasn't he also the head of VH1?
 '''Polly''': Or Pizza Hut.
 '''Troll''': Chris. What are your favourite places to eat at?
 '''Polly''': I remember um he ''[something]'' -but before that he was with Sega when Dreamcast was out.
 '''Chris''': Yup. Let me type this email please. I mean y'all keep talking I'll jsut listen.
 '''Clyde:''' There's no reason to hate the Xbox. Let's be honest.
 (pause)
 '''Polly''': Or um- Chris um- do you wanna release your game on Nintendo and on Sony. If you do talk to somebody like EA or something, you can like do um- multi-console thing like a (?) party thing.
 '''Chris''': ''[busy typing]'' Hmm. Well it's all to think about.
 '''Polly''': I mean Sega does third party now so um-
 '''Chris''': Yeah well I'm gonna keep typing this email here. Y'all keep talking.
 ''[Sound of Chris typing]''
 '''Clyde:''' It's true, it's true.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Chris. Chris I wanted to tell you that Cassie's going to be here any- any second so you can talk to her.
 '''Chris''': Oh. Hm. ''[continues typing]''
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Don't you care about her?
 '''Chris''': ''[annoyed]'' I'm typin' da email to her right now!
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Oh ok.
 '''Polly''': Yeah um 360 is pretty bad um- it red-rings all the time.
 '''Max?:''' I've had mine over two years. The same one. And it has not red-ringed yet.
 '''Jack''': Dude you have to pay $50 just so you can play online.
 '''Chris''': ''[echoing]'' Yeah. Yeah.
 '''Jack''': Yeah it's bullshit.
 '''Chris''': Yeah it's totally free on Playstation. And Wii.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris. Chris. No, no, no, no, I gotta talk about this. (long pause) Chris...
 '''Chris''': ''[interrupting]'' I get less connection problems myself.
 '''Clyde:''' I can't let you get away with this Chris. You spent over $1000 on the Playstation Network. Ok? And you say you can't afford $50 for the Xbox? Terrible reason. That's a terrible reason.
 '''Polly''': Also, um, Cogs I had a friend of mine whose red-ringed a lot of times. She did not like it at all. She got herself a PS3 instead.
 ''[Chris is STILL typing]''
 '''Jack''': I heard that like- the PS triple eats up a lot of energy and like- has like- burned houses down. Cause it messes up the- no but the PS3 really-
 ''[More of Chris typing then audio cuts out]''
 '''Clyde:''' So when's the next comic coming out Chris?
 '''Chris''': I can't say. I don't have a date for it right now. I've been busy with the- with real life and such. You know getting the s- getting the website back up and all that.
 '''Polly''': Oh but I've been waiting so long.
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I gotta tell you something Chris. ''[something]'' -to the trolls but I haven't done anythin myself. It's run off into splinter groups doin' stuff to you. Ever since the Panda thing, I haven't done anything to you man. Everybody's been running round doing things. I have no control anymore. So I'm back here. This is why I'm back here. Do you understand?
 '''Chris''': Yeah. I hear you.

===Nudes On Youtube===

 '''Max?:''' Chris.
 '''Chris''': Yeah?
 '''Max?:''' So I hear you got some uh- nudes up there on Youtube.
 '''Chris''': What?
 '''Max?:''' Hear you got some nudes on Youtube.
 '''Chris''': ''[something]''
 '''Max?:''' NUDES!
 '''Chris''': That's what I thought- I have nothing na- I have nothing like that on the nu- on the Youtube. I've nothing like that.
 '''Troll''': Oh someone posted the pics form the ED page.
 '''Chris''': They're just tryin' ta get on- they're just tryin' ta get on my nerves again. But I'm not gonna let 'em.
 '''Troll''': Did you take those pictures or what? Where'd they come from?
 '''Polly''': Uh, are they Photoshopped?
 '''Chris''': Yeah most of- Yes. Most of them are Photoshopped.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris I can help you with ED. Chris I can help you with ED.
 '''Chris''': Mm. Yeah.
 '''Troll''': You can see the neck and the body doesn't quite match up.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Okay, Chris. Cassie's just arrived. She's a little nervous about talking to you, but she's gonna talk to you soon. Is that ok?
 '''Chris''': Yeah that's fine.
 '''Clyde:''' I just got one quick comment. The ED people were in contact with me, but I've lost contact with them. But I know you can delete that page permenantly. I'm tryin' to help you man. You can get that page down forever. Even the entire site.
 '''Troll''': What, after you raped uhm- Sarah?
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I'm trying to make amends. So let me do my business. All right?
 '''Troll''': It's too late to make amends. Look what you did.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[unclear]''
 '''Troll''': Chris.
 '''Chris''': Yeah?
 '''Troll''': Um. Cogsdev said she had a look at the data, they have it up in Image editing software.
 '''Other Troll''': Oh yeah. Well..
 '''Chris''': Well I don't know what to tell you there.
 ''[Several trolls speak at once]''
 '''Chris''': Sorry, what?
 '''Troll''': Doesn't that mean they're real?
 '''Chris''': No, I don't think so.
 '''Troll''': You don't think so?
 '''Other Troll''': Well, did you take them?
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Troll''': Then where did those pictures come from?
 '''Other Troll''': Yeah, who took those?
 '''Chris''': I don't know. And i'd rather not talk about that anymore. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
 '''Troll''': Are you lying to your fans Chris?
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Troll''': We don't feel confort- we don't feel comfortable. We're big fans of your work and we don't like being lied to.
 '''Jack''': I'd like to make a point. It might just be a doppelganger [sic].
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, you know the thing I hate most is lies. I like to spread the truth about you Chris.
 '''Troll''': You say you're honest, but you're lying to us.
 '''Chris''': ''[clearly annoyed]'' Fine, fine. Some those pictures are real.
 '''Troll''': Some of them?
 '''Chris''': Some of them but not all of them.
 '''Jack''': Like, which ones aren't real?
 '''Chris''': Uh, i'd rather not go into detail because i'd rather not look at 'em. Cause uh- ''[interrupted]''
 '''Troll''': ''[unclear]'' -are you ashamed of it?
 '''Jack''': Do you not like to look in the mirror?
 '''Troll''': You owe it- you owe it to your fans.
 '''Chris''': Yeah, but- yeah, but- yeha, but upon looking at those it's like ref- it's like reflecting a pe- uh p- a past moment in my life where I- I was played for the fool.
 '''Troll''': Oh yeah, by the man in the pickle suit?
 '''Chris''': Yeah.
 '''Troll''': Oh that guy - I hate that guy.
 '''Jack''': Yeah I saw- he was trolling some other people you know? So you're not alone, Chris.
 '''Troll''': Yeah he took pictures of me like that too...
 '''Chris''': Hmm.
 '''Troll''': That guy's an asshole, I hate him.
 '''Chris''': Uhhhh yep.
 '''Troll''': He took pictures of my wife too. Sick bastard.
 '''Polly''': ''[I think she says he is a peanut]''
 (pause)
 '''Chris''': Uh, I'm sorry, what?
 (another pause)

===Chris Hates Harry===

 '''Chris''': I just uh- never was fond of it. Ever since it came out, I was never fond of it. ''[unclear as troll speaks over]'' -just like I hate Harry Potter because he's s- he's goin- he's uh- in compe- was in competition against the world of Pokemon.
 '''Jack''': Well that- that doesn't make sense. But they're two different medias. Pokemon-
 '''Chris''': ''[interrupts]'' Yeah but- yeah but still he-
 '''Jack''': -Harry Potter is a book.
 '''Chris''': Yeah but he poses as competition against them.
 '''Jack''': That's not really competition. I mean-
 '''Clyde:''' ''[speaking over Jack]'' Oh that reminds me about books- Vivi- Vivian wrote a book and sent it to you. You never read it.
 '''Chris''': Yes. I am afraid I- yeah, yeah- I'm uh- I've been uh- so I've been under uh- too much stress between internet and all that. I'll ge- I'll read it, I'll read it
 '''Clyde:''' She's been waiting for your response for quite a long time.
 '''Chris''': Uh, I like the cover.
 (pause)
 '''Chris''': Nice cover.
 '''Troll''': Yeah he is right about that. That is a nice cover.
 '''Other Troll''': Yeah the book is pretty good - I read it.
 '''Chris''': Hm. Well I- I will definitely make it a point to uh- read it. Very soon.
 ''[Trolls talk over each other]''
 '''Polly''': ''[Audible over the others]'' Did you ever read Twilight?
 '''Chris''': I've heard th- I've heard Twilight and I've seen the trailer but I haven't seen the movie, I'll wait for it to come out DVD or Blu-Ray.
 (pause)

===Random Access Humor Python Style===

 '''Polly''': Oh ok, I heard a lot of girls like Twilight.
 '''Chris''': Hm. I see. Hey Polly does your voice sound like that, 'cause it sounds like a guy talking falsetto. I mean no personal offense.
 '''Polly''': That's not very nice...
 '''Chris''': I'm sorry. Believe me I didn't mean any pe- anything personal it's just like, you know- hm- kind- just kinda takes me by suprise a bit, that's all.
 '''Troll''': I knew a girl like that in high school.
 '''Polly''': ''[Sounding upset]'' I can't help it if I'm born like this.
 '''Chris''': Yeah I'm- I'm- I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you.
 '''Troll''': Yeah she's a girl. I saw her pics. She's a girl.
 '''Chris''': Well I'll s- I'll take his word for it. I'm sorry I cu- I accused you there.
 '''Polly''': Um. Ok.
 '''Chris''': You know, aut- I mean- let's- it's just uh- you know it's uh- you know it's uh a bit- just a spot of fun. [[Random-access_humor|Stupid humor]]. Monty Python's Flying Circus.
 '''Clyde:''' We know you love that. There's just so many references to it in the comic.
 '''Chris''': Yeah I d- after they put all of the entire series on Playstation Network I downloaded the Hamlet episode- that was the one that had uh- Jimmy Hill parodying himself. It also had this funny bit where it was like, you know- ''[in a stupid voice]'' "...and now it's time for The Robinsons, an everyday story about blah-de-blah-de-blah-de-blah. Dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-duhhh-dum-de-dum"- and so on...
 ''[A troll begins to speak but is interrupted by a very high-pitched Chris]''
 '''Chris''': "Morning Mrs. Robinson- Morning Mrs. Robinson. Comin' out shoppin'? Oh- you've been shoppin', what did you buy? What's this?-" 'What did you buy this for?'[Trolls laugh over him]'' -It was a bargain!"
 '''Troll''': I've heard you do that before. I don't know where. Anyway uh- uhm- Whatever happened to Jimmy Hill?
 '''Chris''': Hm. I haven't heard from him in a long time so just assuming uh- he gave up or uh-
 '''Jack''': ''[interrupting]'' I think he got a- I think he got a, uh- children's TV program in England.
 '''Chris''': Hm. Well he ain't botherin' me, so I'm not worried about him anymore.
 '''Jack''': Ye- but he's stealing Sonichu. Bastardizing it.
 '''Chris''': Yeah he did but uh- he s- but haven't seen any updates on his-
 '''Troll''': ''[Talks over Chris]'' - profile, he's still doing it.
 ''[Several trolls talk over each other about him having a TV show]''

===Chris Fails At Spanish Pt. 2===

 '''Chris''': ''[Sigh]''
 ''[Troll says something more about the TV show, but it's muffled]''
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Hey, Chris?
 '''Chris''': Yeah?
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Chris. Cassie wants to say hi. Just forgive her English because she can't speak very well, okay?
 '''Chris''': All right. Just sent her the email by the way, just now.
 '''Cassie''': Hey, Chris. It's me, Cassie.
 '''Chris''': Hi, Cassie. How are you?
 '''Cassie''': Fine, and you?
 '''Chris''': I'm feelin' ok.
 '''Cassie''': Why haven't you emailed me? I was really about-was really worried about you. What's happened?
 '''Chris''': I'm sorry. I be- I've bee- I've been busy with the Internet and the stress and all that. I sent ya an email just now go- it's got my Wii number in it so you can add me to your contacts. I've been talking to uh- I've been talking to Sarah lot- quite a bit lately. She's been helping me with uh- updating the Sonichu site, since I've uh- since I'm working on uh- it's re-uploading and such.
 '''Cassie''': K, I believe you. I going to check ''[pronounced like 'sheg']'' it, okay?
 '''Chris''': You're going to where?
 '''Troll''': ''[very quietly]'' Check it.
 '''Cassie''': To check it.
 '''Chris''': To "shag-it"? Is that the-
 '''Cassie''': Check the email.
 '''Chris''': ''[still doesn't understand]'' Oh.
 '''Cassie''': I going to check the email.
 '''Chris''': Oh. ''[unintelligible]''
 '''Troll''': Check the email.
 '''Chris''': Oh, check email. ''[Laughs]'' Yeah I'm sorry I tr- I tried to uh- understand but it just kind of messed up a little bit.
 '''Jack''': Why don- why don't you two speak in Spanish?
 '''Chris''': Uhhh. I'm not exactly fluent.
 '''Cassie''': ¿Sabes hablar español, Chris? (Do you know how to speak Spanish?)
 '''Chris''': Sí, hablo español (Yes, I speak Spanish)
 '''Cassie''': Oh. ''[pause, one of the trolls says something to her]'' Oh, eso es muy sexy. (That is very sexy.)
 '''Chris''': Ohhhh. Te gusta. Te gusta muchísimo, (You like it. You like it a lot)
 '''Cassie''': La verdad, si. (To tell you the truth, yes)
 '''Chris''': Mmm. Me amos mis amigas muchísimas. Sons muy bueñas! (I love my friends (feminine) a lot. They are very good.) [Correction: Amo a mis amigas muchísimo. Son muy buenas.]
 '''Cassie''':Oh, eso es tan cool en español! Muy bueno! (That's so cool in Spanish! Very good)
 '''Chris''': Muy bueño (very good)
 '''Cassie''': Aha, exacto. (it is!)
 '''Chris''': ''[Laughs]'' Okay, that's good.
 '''Cassie''': Well, I going down, okay?
 '''Chris''': Okay, you're going down- by the way, let me ask ya Cassie, do you ever- you've uh- you've actually met uh Sarah May in person, haven't you?
 '''Cassie''': Not. She's on Internet.
 '''Chris''': Oh. Okay. That's cool- but anyway uh- you got- you d- you have my Wii number, uh- you can reply the email with your Wii number and it'll be registered on the Wii network.
 '''Cassie''': ''[very haltingly]'' Yes. So. Cool. Talk with you Chris. You are so cool.
 '''Chris''': Heh. Uhhhh. You flatter me. Tù me flatteray. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Cassie''': ''[Weak laugh]'' Well, see you.
 '''Chris''': Adíos.
 '''Cassie''': Adíos.
 '''Chris''': ''[In his 'baby voice']'' Adíos. ''[sigh]''
 '''Cassie''': Adíos, bebé.
 '''Chris''': Adíos, chiquita bonita. ''[Laughs]''
 (Pause as audio cuts out)
 '''Chris''': -it again.
 (Another pause)
 '''Clyde:''' So anyway, Chris. I've been working on Rabbichoso for a day and uh- I was just wonderin' like, it's- it's supposed to comete with Sonichu, you know? If you weren't aware of that.
 '''Chris''': Uhhhh. I grabbed onto d- grabbed onto i- grabbed onto the jist. I'm aware- I'm aware of the just of the theory. Uh. I'm aw- I'm aware that you're tryin' to compete.
 '''Clyde:''' You know what competition does. It's drives uh- it drives consumer interest- ''[muffled]'' - that's why I'm trying to help dude. You know, compete. Just so you're aware of this, ok?
 '''Chris''': I see. -see.
 (Pause)

===Rabbichoso And Animu===

 '''Troll''': So Chris we've been ge- been getting uh threatening images from the Pickle Man. Did you s- did you see the left?
 '''Chris''': Uh. I've not heard from the Pickle Man in lo- in a long time.
 '''Troll''': Apparently there are multiple ones because this one is, uh, not a darkie.
 '''Chris''': Uh-huh.
 '''Troll''': It's good that they're leaving you alone now.
 '''Chris''': Yep.
 '''Jack''': Seems like they found more easier targets. Seeing as how you became [[Navy|saltier]].
 '''Chris''': Uh. You know I originally got that quote from an e- ep- episode of ExCel Saga.
 '''Jack''': From what?
 '''Chris''': ExCel Saga.
 '''Jack''': Oh, ExCel Saga. Oh, yeah, that's a good anime.
 '''Chris''': ''[Quotes ExCel saga. Can't understand what he's saying]''
 '''Troll''': Uh, have you ever seen two animes, ''[muffled]'' and Schooldays?
 '''Chris''': Hmm. I have not seen either of those. I like Steel Angel Kurumi as well.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, how much Japanese do you know?
 '''Chris''': Only a little bit. I'm not totally fluent. I can say that with all honesty.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Says something in Japanese]''
 '''Chris''': Huh?
 '''Clyde:''' Never mind, you won't understand it.
 '''Polly''': ''[Something] Chris-Chan. Thank you desu ga [sic]''

===Chris Could Kill Clyde===

 '''Falsion''': Yeah, I just wanted to say, uh, you're doing a good job, like, keeping calm even though Clyde is here. I mean u- I thought you'd be, like, more angry at him.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm being calm with you guys.
 '''Troll''': -I would have been choking him by now.
 '''Other Troll''': I'd have kicked his ass.
 '''Chris''': Preach to the choir. Pr-
 '''Troll''': ''[interrupts]'' I'd make him choke on a pickle if it were up to me.
 '''Clyde:''' You guys can't touch me otherwise i'd kick all your asses. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Chris''': Huh.
 '''Troll''': Yeah, bring it.
 '''Troll''': Chris could kick Clyde's ass anytime.
 '''Clyde:''' Let's see Chris do it.
 '''Chris''': Bring it to me any day of the week and I'll definitely show him a hard- day's night.
 '''Troll''': Yeah I think you could kick his ass.
 [Trolls and Clyde talk over each other]
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Jack''': ''[Sings]'' -been a hard day's night...
 '''Clyde:''' -never mind, just...
 '''Chris''': I mean that as a- meant that as in I would beat... him up.
 '''Troll''': Kick his ass?
 '''Chris''': I'm very strong.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Chris. I'm gonna see you later, ok?
 ''[Unison of goodbyes]''
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Ok see ya. Thank you so much Chris.
 '''Chris''': ''[ignoring his fans]'' Yeah I can- I can lift about my weight.
 '''Troll''': Like um- if Clyde were right in front of you, what would you do to him?
 '''Clyde:''' Like, what kind of style of fighting do you have?
 '''Troll''': Hey, shut up.
 '''Clyde:''' I gotta know my competition.
 '''Chris''': Personal- in the physical offense. ''[sigh]'' I would definitely be giving you so much physical pain.
 '''Clyde:''' That's not a s- that's not a style.
 '''Chris''': I would beat you up.
 '''Troll''': He deserves it man.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, that's still not a style...
 '''Jack''': He uses fisticuffs. He's a gentleman. Gentleman fisticuffs.
 '''Clyde:''' Whatever, I'll just see-
 '''Troll''': Stop arguing and just-
 '''Other Troll''': ''[Over previous troll]'' I mean, if he did that to my sweetheart i'd fucking kill him.
 '''Clyde:''' Well. He's not- he's not going to come over and kill me, I know that. He doesn't have the money. (pause) You know I'm suprised that you're mad here. You're much kinder in person I thought you- Now I'm just expecting you at my door anytime, just waiting for you to stand here with an axe or something.
 '''Chris''': Knives are too messy.
 '''Clyde:''' Ah, now a sword- sword's are usually better.
 '''Troll''': What about poison?
 '''Clyde:''' Poison's good, poison's good.
 '''Troll''': Clyde, what - do you want him to beat your ass?
 '''Clyde:''' No I was just expectingit, you know.
 '''Chris''': Yeah, you know what's another thing? I would definitely not tell you how I would be hurting you, but I would definitely give you a who- big amount of pain.
 '''Troll''': Oh, he's gonna keep you guessin'!
 '''Chris''': Yeah.
 '''Troll''': Yeah he deserves it. After everything he's done-
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Muffled by troll]'' -going to kill me, i'd like to know.
 '''Chris''': Uh. I'm just going to let you cover in- worry.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh so you're never going to show up, it's-
 '''Chris''': ''[interrupts]'' Oh yes I will show up. But you just won't be expecting it.
 '''Clyde:''' You don't even know where I live, do you?
 '''Chris''': Find out!
 '''Clyde:''' Maybe I should give you my address.
 '''Troll''': Chris, you should track him down and kick his ass.
 '''Clyde:''' But I'm going to leave you guessing too...
 '''Troll''': Defend Panda's h- Panda's honor.
 '''Other Troll''': Hey Julie.
 '''Polly''': Oh, hi Julie.
 '''Clyde:''' 'sup Julie.
 ''[Pause]''
 '''Chris''': Hey Julie.
 ''[Everyone talks over each other]''

===Clyde's A Dick===

 '''Chris''': Yeah I notice her mic doesn't work. But still I'm just letting her know that- aknowledge her presence.
 '''Troll''': You're doing well staying calm even thought Clyde's here.
 '''Jack''': Yeah, Clyde's a total dick.
 '''Chris''': Yep.
 '''Troll''': Fucker.
 ''[Rustling]''
 '''Troll''': I mean, he's taken over everything. The IRC. This. I can't- noone can stop him.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[muffled]'' -over there, so...
 '''Female Troll''': I- I like Rabbichoso.
 '''Clyde:''' Of course you do. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Female Troll''': It's funny.
 '''Chris''': I will not offer any new comment on it.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, ok.
 '''Jack''': Chris, when can we expect the next Sonichu to be released.
 '''Troll''': Yeah, we've been eager.
 '''Chris''': It'll be soon. It will be soon.
 '''Troll''': Yeah just ignore Clyde man.
 '''Clyde:''' I mean if you're going to put a hard date on it, you'd better deliver your promise. If you don't, I'll strike harder. That's all I'm saying.
 '''Chris''': Hmm. You're saying if I don't set a date, you're gonna...
 '''Clyde:''' No, no. I'm saying don't make promises you can't keep. Don't make promises you can't keep.
 '''Chris''': Hmm.
 '''Troll''': He'll choke you with his medallion bitch!
 ''' Other Troll''': Yeah, who the hell do you think you are?
 '''Clyde:''' I agree with Cogs over there. Maybe you should do just a page a day, not release all at once. Keep his-
 '''Troll''': ''[interrupts]'' Why are you telling him this when he hates you?
 '''Clyde:''' I'm giving him suggestions man, ok? Ok?
 '''Troll''': Only thing he's gonna suggest to you is 'shut the fuck up'!
 '''Other Troll''': Yeah, seriously man.
 '''Chris''': It's alright.
 (pause)
 '''Troll''': Penny Arcade's slow.
 '''Polly''': Oh you mean like Penny Arcade or ''[something]'' or MegaTokyo?
 '''Troll''': Yeah they're just like- boring. Then they because sellouts.

===Chris's Country Cookin===

 '''Other Troll''': Chris, where's your favourite place to eat?
 '''Chris''': Hmm. Can't really say uh- but I like country cookin'.
 '''Troll''': Oh yeah?
 '''Other Troll''': What's country cooking?
 '''Chris''': Uh no G's in the sto- no G's in the name by the way, no G.
 '''Troll''': Yeah what's country cooking? I'm not familiar with that.
 '''Chris''': It's like uh- som- something like Golden Corral.
 '''Jack''': But Golden Corral is a national franchise.
 '''Chris''': Mmm.
 '''Polly''': Uh Chris, how are your parents?
 '''Chris''': They're ok.
 '''Polly''': Oh ok.
 (Long pause)

===Sex Is Shit===

 '''Clyde:''' Chris I've got a sug- another suggestion. Now be quiet all of you cause I know you hate me. Just-
 '''Troll''': No, Chris hates you.
 '''Clyde:''' Well don't defend him. He can defend himself ok? He's a man. But whatever-
 '''Chris''': Let him speak.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm suggesting that- you go on and on about this sex stuff but you've never gotten laid, have you?
 '''Chris''': I like to put myself in the imaginative situation that i'd like to be in and the sexual stimulation. So i can be ready for [[ego|myself]] for when I do actually have my first time.
 '''Clyde:''' Well my first time was- I'll just say that it's terrible, ok? I didn't know what I was doing, she didn't know-
 '''Chris''': Let me guess, you prematurely ejaculated?
 '''Clyde:''' No, no, no, it's not like that you don't know what to do. Every woman's told me ok? You can't prepare-
 '''Troll''': ''[Talks over Clyde]'' First time's always awkward...
 '''Clyde:''' - I learnt that mistake a while back, ok whatever. Ok, you just- you can't prepare for your first time. You might as well just have a really bad first time so you learn from your mistakes.
 '''Troll''': I'm not trying to defend Clyde or anything, but yeah it's kinda true.
 '''Clyde:''' Hmm.
 '''Troll''': The girl I first fell in love with is the girl I'm married to right now. Samantha just changed my world. But marriage does get boring.

===Chris's Tips To STAY STRAIGHT===

 '''Troll''': Chris, I know how you say how important it is to stay straight, um- I'm having trouble staying straight, do you have any suggestions?
 '''Chris''': Watch a bunch of pornography with uh- with naked women. Ok, a lot of naked women.
 '''Troll''': That happened to me one time...
 '''Falsion''': Chris, I have this friend I play videogames with, is that gay? He's male by the way.
 '''Chris''': Sorry could you- I'm sorry could you repeat that?
 '''Falsion''': I have this guy I'm friends with he always comes over to my house to play videogames. Is that gay? I'm kinda scared. You know? I don't wanna be gay.
 '''Chris''': Hm. Hmm. Is he making any advances towards you? Personally.
 '''Falsion''': I dunno how to tell.
 '''Chris''': Like uh sit- does he always sit next to you when he's playing games. Playing videogames.
 '''Falsion''': Yeah he usually does.
 '''Chris''': Hmm. I see. Hmm. My- well- my suggestion in that case, would be to keep a heavy distance between you and that guy.
 '''Falsion''': I don't think he meant anything gay by it though.
 '''Chris''': Sorry, what?
 '''Falsion''': I don't think he means anything like- gay about it.
 '''Chris''': Well, still- it's always best to find out- you can ask him. Don't be afraid to ask him.
 '''Falsion''': What would you do in this situation?
 '''Chris''': Well if he said yes then I would uh- basically- let me think about that a moment.
 '''Falsion''': Do you have any friends whore are like, guys?
 '''Chris''': Only aquaintances and only a few of them.
 '''Falsion''': Do you play videogames with people or anything? Do they come over to your house?
 '''Chris''': No. No.
 '''Polly''': Um, I remember-
 '''Falsion''': ''[Cuts Polly off]'' I'm just worried I might be gay or something. I don't wanna be gay.
 '''Jack''': You probably are Falsion, but that's ok. No, look dude.
 '''Chris''': Leave him alone! Leave him alone! He's straight!
 '''Jack''': Why?
 '''Troll''': Hey, let's have a calm conversation here. Let's not have any fights.
 '''Chris''': Yeah. Yeah.
 ''[Trolls speak over each other]''
 '''Troll''': I've been reading the Sonichu comics and man, they are page-turners! Seri- I was on- I was on the edge of my seat for a while. I ju- I couldn't- I couldn't- you know. Just had to read and read.
 '''Chris''': Hm. Thank you.
 '''Falsion''': Chris, can I be your friend? I know I'm a guy. I don't mean anything gay by it. Can I be your friend?
 '''Chris''': Mm. I dunno.

===A Wild Snorlax Appears===

 '''Barbara:''': Do you want any hotdogs?
 '''Chris''': No, I'm ok.
 '''Falsion''': No?
 '''Chris''': I was talking with my mother.
 '''Falsion''': Oh. I was wondering if I could be your friend.
 '''Chris''': Oh. Mmm.
 '''Falsion''': Oh. I h- heard you only like, you only like to be aquaintances. With guys.
 '''Chris''': Yeah, ummm. Let's just pretty much leave it at aquaintance.
 '''Jack''': Hello Mrs. Chandler.
 '''Chris''': She can't hear you, I'm wearing my earphones.
 '''Falsion''': Listen, I'm not gay. I don't- you know- yeah. Nevermind.
 '''Chris''': Yeah I mean- I mea- I-
 '''Clyde:''' What do you have against gay people? I'm serious to hear this.
 '''Chris''': It's just unnatural and it's against God's will.
 '''Clyde:''' I mean, it's not like it's a choice. You can't change who you are like- you're a creative guy but I mean they're just gay. They can't change that.
 '''Chris:''' I'm just answering a few questions mother.
 '''Barbara:''': You don't have to answer. Nobody's payin' you to do that.
 '''Jack''': Yes they are.
 ''[shuffling sounds, clanging]''
 '''Barbara:''': It ain't none of their business no-way.
 '''Chris''': Hm.
 '''Barbara:''': I wouldn't be asked questions like that by employers or anybody. Don't tell people what you d- what you think. Keep that to yourself.
 '''Troll:''' Chris what's hap- what's happening?
 '''Chris:''' Well, obviously, my mother is offering her input.
 '''Jack''': Tell her you're just talking to some friends.
 '''Barbara:''': ''[muffled]'' I don't need no back talk from somebody on the other end of the phone.
 '''Chris:''' I hear you, Mom. Hmm. Hmm.
 ''[scraping sounds]''
 '''Barbara:''': These- these idiots don't have any brains or- they don't have any idea this way or that.
 ''[more banging, clanging and tumbling sounds. Sounds like washing up]''
 '''Troll:''' Is right now a bad time right now? I mean-
 '''Chris:''' Pixelblocks, Pixelblocks!
 '''Jack''': Someone's saying "Pixelblocks."
 '''Troll:''' Chris, are you saying [[Pixelblocks]]?
 '''Chris:''': ''[Laughs]''
 ''[Chris's mom has been singing]''
 '''Jack''': Your mother has a beautiful singing voice, Chris.
 (Audio cuts)
 '''Barbara:''': ''[Audio cuts back in]'' -all the anxiety, causing you stress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well sometimes they don't; they can be peaceful.
 '''Barbara:''': Well, your mom and dad get the crappy end of the stick.
 '''Chris:''': Mmm, a lot of us do.
 ''[more clattering sounds]''
 '''Barbara:''': Yeah, just like this nasty mess over here that you guys left that I got to clean up.
 '''Chris:''' Mm. ''[Audio cuts]'' -Yeah, I took care of my bills. I mean, not completely, but I took care of them.
 '''Troll:''' What about going to, uh, Redmond?
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''':We! (Wii?)
[unintelligible]
windows beeps
 '''Troll''': ''[laughing]'' Yeah, sweetheart pool.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''': Mmhmm. ''[laughing]'' Like the other side of the pillow.
''[someone sighing]''
 ''[Clanging noises return after short absence]''
 '''Clyde:''' ''[unclear]'' ..is all, I mean, living with your parents is okay bad--in today's bad economy, but at 26, come on.
 '''Troll''': Shut up, you.
 '''Clyde:''' Now, I'm being nice.
 '''Troll''': Clyde isn't so bad a guy. He does bad things, but he's pretty cool.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''': Yeah he's reformed. He's seen the error- Yeah.
 '''Troll''': How- how could he do that to Sarah? I mean- That's not right.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''': Yeah. Well, that's like Luke... That's like Luke and Laura from General Hospital. I know that's like, before y'all's time, but, um... Luke was a rapist and she--he raped Laura and then, like, a few months later they get married. So... ''[Laughs]''
 '''Polly''': Yeah, I believe Clyde was trying to make amends from his past actions.
 '''Falsion''': Yeah, but Chris, can you uh- can you forgive him?
 '''Random Troll''': ''[whispering]'' White whale, holy grail!
 '''Troll''': Can you forgive a small-dicked Asian? Just a thought.
 '''Jack''': He's not Asian!
 '''Clyde:''' I'm half-Asian, okay? My parents ''[unclear]'' I don't really wanna go into it. It's too bo-boring for you people. But this is why I ''[unclear]''.
 '''Troll''': Chris, are you there? Just makin' sure, buddy.
 ''[clattering]''
 '''Troll''': Move out.
 '''Another Troll''': Well, how do I do that?
 '''Troll''': What?
 '''Chris:''' Hi there, my kitty. ''[In baby voice]'' Yes, there's a pretty kitty.
 ''[Someone speaking with a voice-synth]''
 '''Troll''': Hang on a second. I've got, like, a thousand different... Oh, Crass, why'd you do that?
 '''Jack''': Because. You can unban him but, yeah. I'm not gonna friggin' stand for that.
 ''[Sound of a vacuum cleaner]''
 '''Jack''': I (m j d?) do that.
 '''Troll''': I heard the "g" word.
 '''Polly''': Um, is that a vacuum cleaner?
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''': Yeah, sounds like it is.
 [Trolls speak but are drowned out by vacuum]''
 '''Clyde:''' ..room or something.
 '''Polly''': I think the vacuum cleaner..
 '''Clyde:''' If that's the government trying to do some kind of thing, then my name's Rusty Shackleford.
 '''Troll''': Oh.
 '''Polly''': Oh, okay.
 '''Troll''': That's a loud fan.
 '''Other Troll''': I have a fan above my stove, too.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''': Hey... I do, too.
 '''Clyde:''' Wait- wha- wait. You-you-you're in the kitchen?
 '''Troll''': Me too.
''[possibly Sonic game sound effects]''
 '''Max:''' Chris?
 '''Chris:''' Mmhm? Mm.
 '''Max:''' I'm pretty sure it's already asked, but I didn't catch the answer. When can we expect the next Sonichu comic?
 '''Clyde:''' I-I-I told you my suggestion of releasing a page a day or something. I mean, it's a pretty good one. It-it-it allows for a good time. Finish a page a day. You upload it. You know? It's very good. Works very well.
 ''[Barbara singing]''
 '''Polly''': Uh. I mean- you guys keep asking when he's going to finish it but I wonder how many pages are going to be in the new one?
 '''Clyde:''' The last one was like, thirty. Just release it over the span of a month. Works fine.
 '''Troll''': ...go up to ninety thousand..
 '''Clyde:''' ''[mutters something]''
 ''[Sound of Barbara singing]''
 '''Barbara:''' Down by the river...side
 '''Jack''': Your mother has a beautiful voice, Chris.
''[clattering, typing]''
 '''Barbara:''': '[[unclear, repeating the same two phrase]'' Gone down by the river, down by the water side, down by the riverside. Down by the waterside. Down by the riverside.
 '''Polly''': I remember ''[unclear]''
 ''[Audio cuts]''
 '''Troll''': -I'm hungry myself.
''[some kind of alarm sounding]''
 '''Max:''' Then go eat.
 '''Troll''': No, you.
 '''Max:''' I already ate.

===Anime And Shit===

 '''Polly''': I wonder what anime Chris watches nowadays. There's not many on television but do you still watch Japanese cartoons?
 '''Troll''': ''[In a bad accent]'' Kawaii desu ne
 '''Other Troll''': I want to watch Shuffle. He said it was very good. He said it was sad. I don't know if I wanna watch- I don't like sad stuff. I like to be happy when I watch anime.
 '''Polly''': Oh, and um, do you watch stuff like Bleach and um Code Geass or Naruto or something?
 ''[Pause]''
 '''Other Troll''': I'm glad to hear that Shuffle isn't sad. I'm definitely going to watch it sometime.
 '''Troll''': Um, yeah Chris that was a good call on Naruto.
 '''Other Troll''': Yeah there's a lot of people who don't like it much either. Too popular.
 '''Troll''': But please. Please. Hope. ''[audio cuts out briefly]'' Uh, Chris, please consider When They Cry.
 '''Other Troll''': Ooh, I saw that one. It was a really good series.
 '''Troll''': Oh, I know; that was good, like-
 '''Other Troll''': Yeah. Both seasons of it.
 ''[Windows beeps, voices overlapping]''
 '''Troll''': I could link you to Season One if you want. Yeah, Samantha got me into that.
 '''Other Troll''':..you'll give it a try, Chris. It's a very, very good series.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''': Hm. Hey, Julie. How are you?
 '''Other Troll''': ...lots of ''[unclear]''
 '''Troll''': Watch Shuffle. You got the six episodes of Shuffle or... Which o- which anime? I'm sorry.
 '''Troll''': Oh and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is also cool.
 '''Polly''': I really liked JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Very ''[[unclear]''
 '''Troll''': Za warudo!
 '''Troll''': Oh yeah, I think Shuffle is quite all right. I like Heidi. She's sweet and loyal.
 '''Other Troll''': That's a good one. One of my favorites is Black Lagoon.
 '''Polly''': Um, is that the one with the blue girl?
''[[Trolls talk over each other about different anime]''
 '''Troll''': Hey, uh, Chris can I, my, uh, I don't know if it's all right, but, like, could you like, give me an email sometime? I could, uh... recommend you to... this anime that... Polly and... Julie like to watch. They're quite- they... Oh, C--and Cogs has recommended such great anime.
 '''Chris:''' ''[talking to his mother]'' Yeah? That's ''[unclear]''
 '''Troll''': As well as Julie--Julie's the person that got me into anime.

===People Love Poketunes===

 '''Chris:''' -we can go into this later cause I got my headphones on. And, Mom, you know what something else? They liked your singing.
 '''Barbara:''': What? I don't sing.
 '''Chris:''': You just did!
 '''Barbara:''': That's my laugh; that's my laugh. They couldn't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' They heard you. Singin'. Just now.
 '''Barbara:''': I can't sing!
 '''Chris:''': You just did!
 '''Barbara:''': I'm tone deaf.
 '''Chris:''' They just heard you singing, and liked your voice.
 '''Barbara:''': Okay Did you write checks for all those bills and pack everything ''[unclear]''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yes, Mother, I did.
 '''Barbara:''': You're not telling me no story?
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm not telling you no story.
 '''Barbara:''': Ok. It's important [''inaudible''] did you pay them?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I paid that one.
 '''Barbara:''': Okay, you have to be honest with me, 'cause, see, you're settin'...
 '''Chris:''' I'm being honest, I'm being honest.
 '''Barbara:''': How you respond to what [we] talk about. You say you ought to something and you don't do it then that's gonna change my ideas ''[unclear]''.
 '''Chris:''' Okay... I'll be sure to pay the remaining differences next month.
 '''Barbara:''': No, this month.
 '''Chris:''' I know but I couldn't pay them all with 90 dollars so there's still some left ''[sound cuts]'' ...oh, you're cooking them up here, okay, that's why you turned the fan on over the stove.
 (Audio cuts)
 ''[Trolls rejoice and mock Momma Chandler]''

{{transcription}}

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 1|Mumble Chat 1]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 3|Mumble Chat 3]]|}}

==Links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?mtnztmniomk Download]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Mumble 2

2010-04-02T01:35:43Z

Pitifuladultlife: Some edits

{{Improve|completing|finish transcribing the chat for the good of the CWCki}}

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|right|180px|In Mumble 2, a Wild [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]] appeared.]]

'''Mumble 2''' is the second [[Mumble]] chat that took place on 4 [[February 2009]]. More than an hour long.

This is a more organized Q&A type chat than [[Mumble 1]]. Questions from [[Clyde]] about [[sex]] in the [[comic]] and interesting tidbits about how Chris believes sex is the same as romance. This is pretty hard hitting, with stuff like how Chris is into [[McDonald's|fast food]] yet he's against tobacco. A lot of drama involving Clyde.

==Summary==

===Notes===
* Chris doesn't like Clyde because he stole his sweetheart.
* Audio cuts out for a minute before Chris says: "....HYMEN!" (You broke her hymen)
* Trolls claim [[Panda]] is with Clyde, Chris wants to hear her voice, they say she's busy
* 'She and I WERE very close'
* Chris didn't have 400 to 800 dollars to go and see Panda; claims he got this number from an airport website recommended by [[Miyamoto]]
* Insists on [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] being in [[Animal Crossing]]
* Doesn't want to talk about his deal with them
* Insists that he doesn't have to turn down his radio since his voice is louder (''it is horribly loud in the mic'')
* Panda gave Clyde all of the sites, etc.
* [[Sarah]] is going to be with Clyde, which Chris wants to deny
* These motherfuckers keep talking over each other
* Calls a troll's critique crap
* Bubbles must be aroused, she isn't wet all the time
* Bubbles is 90% water so does sperm just swim around forever? NO
* Clyde: This is a childrens' comic, why so much sex?
: Chris: It is romance. My best artwork is when they're making out 'romantic moments', drawn in protest to trolls. Shows that [[Rosechu]]s have vaginas, not [[duck]]s.
* Admits to maybe going overboard
* Trolls try to reason with him about the [[ED]] article: There wouldn't be an article if he didn't react like he does.
* Trolls say that TV-Y7 means NO SEX but Chris points to romantic anime that have making out (cartoons are for kids, whatever the content).
* Trolls talk about Japan being less strict about those things
* Everyone gets to vote in [[CWCville]], even if they're [[Niggos|black]]'.
* Got his idea from [[Mary Poppins]].
* Troll tries to give historical background about cough medicine putting kids to sleep. Chris insists it was the lullaby that put them to sleep.
* Discussion about Chris, 'gay message' sent by a troll
* He calls Clyde a scoundrel
* BELIEVE HIM HE IS STRAIGHT
* Chris tries to speak Mexican at 20:50
* Mexican speaks Mexican to him... he replies in Menglish
* [[4-cent_garbage]] is located in Mexico
* Someone says that he needs to improve his Mexican
* Chris is against smoking, CWCville is smoke and alcohol free
* Rehash of why [[tobacky]] is bad, his position on it, alcohol=bar fights
* Chris' dad smoked and had several bypasses, has a pacemaker and has had heart attacks
* Mention of his hair cuttings for his fans
* Chris was doing math in his head, got in car crash.
* Chris has taken college level math. Took trigonometry.
* Trolls gang up on Clyde for stealing Panda
* Time will tell when Chris will make the money he would have in the Nintendo deal
* Trolls bash Clyde for his pot smoking
* Chris doesn't watch news because it's bad news =(
* Bashing of the Mexican
* Chris can type 30 to 100 WPM
* Chris can't type and talk at the same time
* Chris says [[PSN]] is free though Clyde(?) points to the 1000 dollars Chris spent on PSN
* Chris has been typing for 15 minutes now and it is VERY loud
* Chris has been busy IRL therefore the comic release doesn't have a date
* Someone points to nudes on [[YouTube]].
* He does not have it on the YouTube, but he isn't going to take it anymore.
* Claims some of the photos are photoshopped.
* Clyde offers help to take ED page down.
* Chris denies taking those pictures, doesn't want to talk about it, making him uncomfortable.
* Some of the pictures are real. When questioned which ones are fake, Chris can't answer.
* Chris hates Harry Potter because it was in competition with [[Pokemon]]!
* Chris is too stressed to read Vivian's [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|book]], but likes the cover though!
* Polly, who has been talking the whole time is confronted by Chris who thinks she is a guy. Polly is upset. Chris apologizes.
* [[Jimmy Hill]] has launched his Sonichu show
* More Mexican talk at 55:10
* Chris giggles and sighs happily when Cassie, another Mexican, compliments him and when she leaves he says 'Chiquita Bonita'
* Rabbichoso talk (Sonichu.info)
* Classic trolls are leaving Chris alone.
* Chris likes Steel Angel Kurumi (''quote from [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steel_Angel_Kurumi Wikipedia]: often classified as ecchi due to the focus on fanservice and panty shots'')
* Chris claims to be very strong, could beat Clyde up. Says he would show Clyde a [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force| Hard Day's Night]], and would give Clyde pain.
* ShinyMarshtomp makes an appearance? Likes Rabbichoso
* Chris likes to eat at [[Country Cookin]] (''like Golden Corral'')
* Chris likes to imagine his first time.
* Clyde says the first time is awful, Chris said it was because Clyde prematurely ejaculated
* Watch porn with naked women to cure your gay
* Guys sitting next to you = gay coming on to you
* Falsion has been in the chat room and is afraid he is gay
* A wild Snorlax appears

==Transcript==
===Waiting for Chris===
 '''Polly:''' I can't wait to hear Chris! I'm a huge fan!
 '''Clyde:''' Oh, goddamn these noodles are fantastic. Man, I wish I could eat like this everyday.
 '''Troll:''' Have you eaten the rice balls?
 '''Clyde:''' No, no, no. These are noodles. These are-
 '''Troll:''' ''[Interrupts]'' Fan-fucking-tastic.
 '''Clyde:''' Now they're all gone, it's fantastic, you know?
 '''Troll:''' Sweetangie is Chris. Or, we think so.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I don't think this is him.
 '''Clyde:''' It's definitely not the real Chris.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm disappointed there's so many impostors out there. Kinda my fault, but, you know, if it weren't- ''[unintelligible]'' -hard to come by.
 '''Troll:''' His mic was working last time he was here, just fine.
 '''Troll:''' He usually capitalizes his words, like in every sentence.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I don't think this is- I don't think this is him.
 '''Troll:''' Is it set to push to talk or something?
 ''[Trolls talk over each other]''
 '''Clyde:''' It's called push to talk. Push to talk.
 '''Troll:''' No, just have him set it to voice activity. It works so much better that way.
 '''Jack''': You guys are fucking idiots.
''[Trolls talk over each other again]''
 '''Troll:''' You guys scared him off by being guys.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, you fucking jackasses. Nice going.
 '''Troll:''' Was that even the real...?
 '''Troll:''' Yes, that was the real Chris.
 '''Troll:''' He's too much of a pussy to talk.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, cause you scared him, or some - No, or he's too stupid to be.
 ''[Trolls Laugh]''

===Chris Arrives===
 '''Chris:''' ''[Chris arrives, with radio playing loudly.]'' Hello.
 ''[Trolls all greet him.]''
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, now-
 '''Troll:''' Why haven't you got your microphone working?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know why my microphone [is] messed up.
 '''Troll:''' I'm sorry, but we had an impostor here before.
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm registered. I've got myself registered now. So, uh, hopefully-
 '''Troll:''' That's probably why. It had to like, uh- calibrate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well I calibrated now.
 '''Clyde:''' So, Chris, have you seen Rabbichoso's, uh, oh it's fantastic.
 '''Chris:''' I don't give a crap about your stupid pencil sketch.
 ''[Audio cuts out]''
 '''Chris:''' Well for one thing, you stole my sweetheart!
 ''[Cutout continues]''

===PandaHalo, Trip to Redmond and Animal Crossing===
 '''Chris:''' You broke her hymen!
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I know it's a terrible mistake, but I plan to make it up to her. I'm getting married and uh- I'm doing the things I should do.
 '''Chris:''' Oh and another thing, if she is really over there with you now, then put her on the mic. Please.
 '''Jack''': She's not- He never said-
 '''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, she's very busy, ok. She's very busy.
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Clyde:''' She's not over here right now. Okay? So lets drop it.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, fine. Well could you tell her to please send me a message lettin' me know, for sure, so I can know- so I can know to-
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Talks over Chris]'' I'll let her know whatever you want, but it's her life. She doesn't have to send you a message. You failed her. You failed her.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' She and I were very close.
 '''Clyde:''' If you we're so close, then why didn't you go?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' Because I had- Aw, hang on a second. How do I- oh, that's right. This thing. Right. Mmm. Hold on a sec. Oh yeah, because I did not have four to eight hundred dollars!
 '''Clyde:''' It doesn't cost that much to go cross-country man.
 '''Chris:''' Yes it does. I know, I saw it on an airport website. Where I was be- Where I was- recommended to me by Mr. Miyamoto.
 '''Clyde:''' You know, you can drive there. It's not that hard.
 '''Troll:''' What happened with that? I thought, um, didn't you have a deal with them or something? I heard a rumor that your characters were going to be in Animal Crossing.
 '''Chris:''' Well, they are in Animal Crossing. And I did- and I do- I did have a deal with them.
 '''Troll:''' What happened though?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]'' I'd rather not say.
 '''Troll:''' Oh.

===Chris's Radio, Clyde and Criticism===
 '''Troll:''' Chris, why don't you turn down the TV? It's hard to hear you.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Annoyed sigh]'' I do not have a TV turned on in here.
 '''Troll:''' I can hear it.
 '''Chris:''' I have a radio.
 '''Troll:''' I hear something in the background.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Burping throughout sentence]'' Well that's the- that would b- the radio. And it is not that loud.
 '''Troll:''' But it shows up pretty well on your microphone mic. With due respect.
 '''Chris:''' But still, my voice is louder than the radio.
 '''Troll:''' Ah goo- ahh given.
 '''Polly:''' Uh, Chris? Uh, when are you going to do the new Sonichu comic?
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Says something over Polly]''
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]'' Uh, I'll answer Polly's question. I'm not sure. It's, uh, it's in progress right now, I'm drawing it up.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, okay. I can't wait to read it!
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, we'll see.
 '''Troll:''' Chris!
 '''Troll:''' Listen, Clyde kind of has admin on here, so we can't really do anything about him. So, yeah. I don't know.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Hard to hear over Chris's radio]'' ...with you guys. I love you guys. Just as much as Chris loves you guys. Right?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]''
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I was angry. I was angry. But I'm calm now.
 '''Troll:''' Don't try to hurt any other person from now on.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm doing the best I can. I'm doing the best I can.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I have much- I do not have much to say in response to that right now. Because I'm ticked off.
 '''Troll:''' Don't let him get to you.
 '''Troll:''' You're no better than he is, if you give in.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Says something unintelligible]''
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]''
 '''Troll:''' Hey, Chris, I just wanted to let you know I'm a huge fan of the comics, and I'm glad you keep doing what you're doing. You're doing a great job, and just keep it up, alright man?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, I appreciate the, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? The, the, uh- well, the encouraging words. Encouragement. I appreciate the encouragement. Well, there are things, uh- I- er- current events I do not appreciate. I appreciate the positive encouragement.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I can't really do anything. He took over the IRC channel. I used to be the owner. I mean Clyde. He's like taking over everything.
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, it was because Panda gave it to me, you know. But anyway, I mean, you can't just listen to encouragement, you've got to listen to criticism, man. Criticisms are what make you better, you learn from your mistakes. You learn from mistakes.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]''
 '''Troll:''' Be right back guys, my wife is calling.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Clyde:''' I don't- I don't- Tons of people don't like the Rabbichoso art style, but you know, I gotta improve on that. That's something I plan to improve on. There's a lot of criticism in the [[Fan:Sonichu is Dead|death of Sonichu]], right?
 '''Chris:''' What? What did you just say?
 '''Clyde:''' There's a lot of criticism of Sonichu. Right?
 '''Chris:''' Oh. For a moment there I thought you said something different.
 '''Clyde:''' What, what did you think I said? I'm just saying, there are people who like it and people who don't like it. You gotta start taking in those suggestions. You know?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. So many things that will be improved upon. But, I just have to hear from Sarah herself that she really is going to be with you, Clyde. I have to hear it from herself. It's one thing to hear it from you and then it's- then on that note, it's just I find it very hard to believe. So I have to hear it from her.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I kinda think that Rabbichoso sucks. I mean, I think it could be funny, but it honestly looks like it's drawn by a kindergartener.
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Troll:''' I mean, Sonichu has evolved over the years. You can see that the art's getting better. Rabbichoso doesn't even look like something a beginner would do, honestly. I mean, ''[Interrupted]''
 '''Chris:''' A whole bunch of crap!
 ''[Everyone starts talking at once]''
 '''Polly:''' Also, Sonichu is in color.
 '''Clyde:''' I know, I accept his criticism. But you just called it crap! Now that's just rude.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I have emotions going behind me- uh, behind that opinion.

===Cassie===
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Chris, did you get my message.
 '''Chris:''' Uh...
 '''Clyde:''' Aren't you going to be the gentleman, then? Aren't you gonna be the gentleman?
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' I just want to ask you, Chris. I'm Cassie's friend. She- she's worried sick about you. Why haven't you emailed her?
 '''Chris:''' I did email her! As a- I- I haven't gotten any re-plies from her. I have emailed her and I have instant messaged her on A.I.M. and Skype. I haven't heard back from her. I don't know what's going on there.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' ...you emailed her.
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' When was the last time you emailed her?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, hang on, I'll check.
 '''Polly:''' Um, Chris? I have a question. My fa- One of my favorite new characters is, um, Simonla, and like, I also like Zapina as well. Um, are they gonna have bigger parts in the series later on?
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, could you repeat that question?
 '''Polly:''' Um, I was wondering if Simonla and Zapina will either have bigger parts in the series later on.
 '''Chris:''' [[Sonichu_10#The_Final_Countdown|Possibly]]. Possibly, but, uh, I can't say for sure. Oh, and, uh, to answer your question, uh- in answer to, uh, I believe, uh, Screwhead, who asked? It was about four days ago. About four days ago.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Yeah. Four days ago? Okay, I'll tell her to check it out.
 '''Chris:''' The last email I sent was about four days ago.
 '''Troll:''' She'll contact you in a while, though.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' I'll tell her to check it out and- and thanks Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Mm.

===Bubbles's Pussy and Sex in the Comics===
 '''Troll:''' Hey, Chris? I have a question.
 '''Chris:''' Yes?
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, my favorite character is Bubbles, I kinda liked the, uh, the thing she had going with Blake, where she was kind of keeping the relationship secret. I thought that was kinda clever. I was wondering, uh, she's a water-type, so does that mean that her vagina is always wet, or does she have to be aroused like a normal woman?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, aroused. That's applied for all the, uh, Rosechus there. And also, like, you know, she's not just a water-type, she's also- she's a water- and electric-type, like uh- oh, shoot- What's the name of that one? Originated from Gold-Silver-Crystal series, uh, evolves from Chinchou? Lanturn. And she has, uh, she has Volt Absorb ability.
 '''Troll:''' Oh, I see.
 '''Troll:''' Uh, Chris, another question following Bubbles. Uh, her body is 90% water, and now this thing about the whole sexual intercourse - about it. Now, don't take this rude, and you don't need to answer me...
 '''Chris:''' No, that's fine.
 '''Troll:''' ...I totally respect your creative work. My wife actually got me into this, uh, show actually. So, what happens is- like, as you know, like, semens are like little fishes in themselves. Would that mean, I mean, would they actually have a route to fly into the egg, in theory, or do they just swim around her whole body, just forever just swimming around.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. The, uh, the internal or- the internal organs uh, for the Rosechus are pretty much the same thing, so I'd say pre- about, uh, as good chance as most any other mammal.
 '''Troll:''' Oh, so you mean she's able to control her density a little bit more. She- I understand now. She's able to control more her density from the 90% water. Okay. That pretty much answers it just perfectly. That's been bothering me at work. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Clyde:''' I got another question, Chris, about this whole sexual thing. I mean, this is a children's comic, right? Why is there so much sex in it?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. It's called romance, and my- and my- if you'll notice throughout the comics my best pieces of artwork among which were those where dey were kissing and making out. Romantic moments.
 '''Clyde:''' There's a hidden page-
 '''Chris:''' ''[Interrupting Clyde]'' And because- and because- and because of the tension from, uh, the trolls and Encyclopedia Dramatica, I just felt like doing that in protest against them.
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, but childre-
 '''Jack''' ''[Interrupting Clyde]'' Yes but how is that really a protest? That, you know, you know, are, are you like referencing to the 60's when women burned their bras? That was in protes- That was feminism. Saying that they weren't slaves to men. Do you even understand the whole thing?
 ''[Multiple voices are heard at once]''
 '''Chris:''' Now, to tell you the truth, I never really thought about, I never really thought about that when I-
 '''Jack''' ''[Interrupting Chris]'' Then how is, stripping was, how was that protest-
 '''Chris:''' ''[Interrupting Jack Thaddeus]'' It shows that they have vaginas and NOT dicks. 
 '''Jack''' Well you know the dick thing was the fact that they were just, you know, mocking you. I think you went overboard with that.
 '''Chris:''' Well maybe I did. Maybe I did.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, you did, because that seems kind of excessive, kind of-
 '''Troll:''' ''[Interrupts]'' I don't think they would have even bothered to write about an article about you if you didn't just keep reacting like that.

===Chris justifies sex in a kids' comic===

 '''Troll:''' I have another question.
 '''Troll:''' The point some of us are trying to make is, if it's TV-Y7 that means there should really be no sex in it at all.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[unintelligible over other people]''
 '''Chris:''' That's pretty much incorrect, I mean, uh, there's so many romantic anime that's TV-Y7, and they shoul- they have making out.
 '''Clyde:''' You know, a lot of things in Japan, Japan has stricter standards-not stricter, I mean looser guidelines than America. It's much different.
 '''Chris:''' I hear ya.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, I was just wondering what Bubbles, um, she has a, that water whirlwind attack, I was just curious if you had any plans to make-
 '''Chris:''' ''[Butting in]'' By the way, that was a Whirl- Whirlpool.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, Whirlpool, sorry, sorry, Whirlpool, but do you have any plans to mix an, uh, Electric-type attack with that, since water conducts electricity, right? It could be a very powerful-
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupts]'' Yeah, she did, she did an electric attack amongst the- the walls of that Whirlpool and she let out. In case you didn't know, there's a- little bits of lightning bolts among which-
 '''Troll:''' Oh, oh, I'm sor- I didn't notice that, I'm sorry, I'll go take another look. Thank you.
 '''Max?:''' Hey Chris-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max?:''' You make some pretty sweet Little Big Planet levels.
 '''Chris:''' Thank you.

===Chris on Benadryl babysitting===

 '''Clyde:''' Oh, there's a message from Cogs on the side, it's about, uh, do women not have the right to vote already in CWCville.
 '''Chris:''' No, ervy- Everybody, no matter what age, no matter what gender or race, ervybody has the right to vote in CWCville. Even if they're black.
 '''Clyde:''' Then what's up with the "Votes for Women" thing, I was-
 '''Troll:''' Not just vote women, but- ''[interrupted]'' any other ethnicities, and gays?
 '''Troll:''' I don't understand-
 '''Chris:''' I did that- heard it in Mary Poppins.
 '''Jack:''' What? Mary Poppins?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Troll:''' Aw, man, Mary Poppins?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Mary Poppins.
 '''Polly:''' I remember that movie.
 '''Troll:''' Aw, yeah, that movie.
 '''Chris:''' It's a classic. It's my favorite movie of all time.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, that movie was, like, based in the 1900s.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but still I- still I agreed with that message there-
 '''Clyde:''' Taken out of context, that makes it seem like CWCville's set in the 1960s.
 '''Jack:''' What message? That children should be given cough medicine so they'll go to sleep?
 '''Chris:''' ''What?''
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, that's what women used to do back in- That's what mothers, friggin' nurses and stuff used to do to kids in the 1900s, is give children, like, you know, cough medicine.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[laughter]''
 '''Chris:''' Cause- cause the medicine- uh, correction, the medicine did not put them to sleep, there was a lullaby, not the cough medicine. They only had to take the cough medicine-
 '''Jack:''' No cough medicine-
 '''Chris:''' ...because it rained, before dere, and it was not, and it was to, uh-
 '''Jack:''' Rain means cough medicine doesn't have anything to do with each other. That's not how friggin' germs are spread, or colds are gotten. Colds are gotten through germs, not the rain.
 '''Troll:''' How is cough medicine any different from today's parents that just let their kids watch TV until they fall asleep? I mean, it's just as bad.
 '''Jack:''' Well- Cough medicine has a lot to do with the psychological effects of it. Obviously if you get- if you keep giving fre-
 '''Troll:''' Thanks, Samantha, that was delicious.
 '''Jack:''' What?
 '''Troll:''' It's my, uh, Samantha-
 '''Polly:''' Yeah, that's we're all saying, cause I've heard that there's a lot of different chemicals in cough medicine. You could pick up a ''[unintelligible]''
 '''Jack:''' I don't even take cough medicine, because I'm not a pussy.
 '''Troll:''' Uh, so.
 '''Troll:''' Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, I never put any references, I never did any references or plan any references to cough medicine or anything of that sort.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Well, Chris, Cassie says the last e-mail she got from you was on the 17th. How 'bout your being gay? Is that true?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' That wa- That was somebody had- That was Clyde hacking through my e-mail and spammed that to my contacts.
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, I definitely did not do that-
 '''Jack:''' You're a scoundrel-
 '''Chris:''' -a slanderous lie.
 '''Clyde:''' I did not do that.
 '''Troll:''' Whoa-whoa-whoa. Wow. Well, thanks for that. She was worried that you were- that you don't like her.
 '''Jack:''' You're a scoundrel, Clyde.
 '''Clyde:''' I didn't do that. That was someone else.
 '''Polly:''' I was wondering, because I've heard other news too, I was really hoping that you weren't gay.
 '''Chris:''' Believe me, I'm straight.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, okay. I'll take your word for it.
 '''Chris:''' Thank you. And, uh-
 '''Clyde:''' Cogs- Cogs got a way- she showed us that, okay? I mean, you only ''[unintelligible]''

 '''Troll:''' So, Chris.
 ''(Trolls talk over each other)''
 '''Troll:''' Cassie didn't get your last e-mail.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Troll:''' Cassie didn't get your last e-mail.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, Screwhead's from Mexico. I heard you like Spanish, so.
 '''Troll:''' Hola, Chris.
 '''Troll:''' You know Spanish, right?
 '''Chris:''' Sí. Conoso Mexico. Tomé dos años ''[unclear]'' mi escuela secundaria. (Yes, I know Mexico. I took two years [in, possibly] my secondary school.)
 '''Troll:''' Has venido en Mexico? (Have you come to Mexico?)
 '''Chris:''' Uh, lo siento? (Uh, I'm sorry?)
 '''Troll:''' Has estado en Mexico? (Have you been to Mexico?)
 '''Chris:''' Estoy Mexico? No. (I am Mexico? No.)
 '''Troll:''' ''[slowly]'' Has estado, um, in Mexico. Has venir? (Have you been to Mexico? Have gone?)
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Uh, no, I hav- no, no tengo pansars. ''[sic]'' (no, I don't have pansars (?))
 '''Troll:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I think, uh, I think I meant to say- I'm pretty sure-
 '''Jack:''' Did you just say you don't wear pants?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, I was trying to say, ah, I don't have plans to go in Mexico at the moment.
 '''Troll:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, I see.
 '''Chris:''' That's what I understood what he was saying there.
 '''Jack:''' Chris, did you know that, that 4-cent garbage website is located in Mexico?
 '''Chris:''' Huh.
 '''Jack:''' That's why-
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, that's why they can't get it shut down.
 '''Chris:''' Mm.
 '''Troll:''' ''[unintelligible]'' borders, plus it's cheaper to run sites over there; they have, like, several servers.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Troll:''' Chris. Cassie wanted to talk to you, but she couldn't make it here, well, and, she wants to be your Spanish teacher, because she says that you've got room to improve your Spanish.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Oh, that Cassie. Yeah, I'm sorry, I thought you were- I got mixed up. Um... Yeah, um, I'm sorry, I, uh, I haven't talked to that- I haven't talked to Cassie in a while, but I've been mostly talking to, uh, her gal- her, uh, gal-pal and I'm sure- I'm sure she'd tell you a lot about her...

===In which the trolls discuss bar fights===

 '''Troll:''' Hey Chris, how- how does Sonichu keep Rosechu from spending more than a hundred dollars at the mall? I've always wondered how he could manage to do that. I've always had problems with that myself.
 '''Chris:''' That wa- That time at the mall, it was, uh, Kel loaned the credit card. And it's like, yeah- she gave- she gave Sonichu the responsibility of that credit card. She did.
 '''Troll:''' ''[unintelligible]''
 '''Clyde:''' Now, I've always given my advice on cannabis, you should do the ''[unintelligible]'', Cogs Chris, but I think she wants your response.
 '''Jack:''' Chris, one of my friends sent me this picture, and I think you might find it kinda disturbing just because they say it's proof that you're gay.
 '''Chris:''' Aw yeah, I saw that, that's just a crappy Photoshop.
 '''Jack:''' No, that one doesn't- this one doesn't look Photoshopped at all.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm not gonna look at it.
 '''Jack:''' Oh, you're not? Oh.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, uh, you say you're against smoking?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. As a matter of fact, CWCville is a smoke-free, non-alcoholic city.
 '''Jack:''' ''[partially drowned out]'' That's what we call a totalitarian state...
 '''Troll:''' Oh, and, uh, in the pilot episode with Seth McFarlane, of, you know, Family Guy? He's always smoking. What do you think about that?
 '''Clyde:''' Go smoke.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I just- I just take that with a grain of salt, and, uh, you know, that's what--
 '''Troll:''' I mean, if he can smoke, why can't anyone else? I mean, it's-
 '''Chris:''' Because it causes cancer!
 '''Jack:''' So does a lot of things.
 '''Polly:''' It could be a prop pipe.
 '''Chris:''' In any case, I'm not- in any, in any case I've never done it and I never will.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, but eating too much fast food can give you a heart attack. I mean... so many things are deadly for you.
 '''Jack:''' What about fast food, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' My father used to smoke and he went through a whole bunch of heart attacks. He suffered three-
 '''Jack:''' ''[Interrupts]'' Well, I think that might have to do more with his weight.
 '''Chris:''' He suffered through three or four triple bypasses.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Chris, I think that's.. that's more like a weight issue.
 '''Chris:''' He has a pacemaker!
 '''Troll:''' Chris, eh...
 '''Troll:''' Hey ya guys, leave him alone. Ya know, my granddad, he smoked most of his life. He quit for 25 years and still died of lung cancer. I mean that's just the way it is. And your body never gets rid of it.
 '''Jack:''' Well yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, what about ''[pause]'' Chris, what about fast food? That's- that's bad for you.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Hey Chris. Chris, could you do me a favor and send an email to Cassie? She's very worried about you.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Yeah sure, I'll send her an email later.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Okay, thanks.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, I've got uh, a certain someone you know-
 '''Chris:''' No no.
 '''Clyde:''' -she has to, uh, she wants to ask you w-
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Also, she said something about some hair.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Yeah, that's uh... that's another issue right there. Um, hmmm. I'll talk to her about that.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, does, uh, drinking cause cancer?
 '''Chris:''' No, but it causes liver dysfunction and likely bar fights and automobile accidents.
 '''Jack:''' Wait, bar fights, but—
 '''Chris:''' Bar fights!
 '''Jack:''' -but I don't think that bar fights are that big of a problem.
 '''Troll:''' I think bar fights are awesome.
 ''[People agree bar fights are awesome]''
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' But bar fights are bad. I got into a bar fight once and one of my hands got cut and two fingers from my left hand. Bar fights suck.
 '''Polly:''' ''[Unintelligible]''
 '''Jack:''' Well, I think that might be more because you're Mexican. Are you sure you didn't lose them picking bo- picking grapes and- or something?
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' No, Mexican people are more more- more much macho man; we get into bigger fights. We're more awesome.
 '''Jack:''' No- I think it might be because you got your hands stuck in some machinery when you were out picking in the vineyards.
 '''Troll:''' I don't know about you guys, but I like- I like having bar fights.
 ''[Trolls talk over each other]''

===Chris Crashes Due To Math===

 '''Clyde:''' You don't have to be drunk to be in a bar fight or in an automobile accident, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but they increase the likeliness of it.
 '''Clyde:''' You've been in an autobile— automobile accident, I mean, were you drunk?
 '''Chris''': No, I was distracted.
 '''Jack''': Uh, by what? I mean, it's kinda hard to be dist— you gotta be focused on driving man-
 '''Chris:''' I was doing math in my head.
 '''Jack''': Wait, math in your—
 [Trolls talk over each other]
 '''Chris''': My mind got distracted by being its own calculator.
 '''Falsion''': Are you good at math?
 '''Polly''': ''[unclear]'' Is that for school?
 '''Jack''': Are you some kind of savant?
 '''Troll''': That's impossible.
 '''Chris''': What?
 '''Falsion''': Guys, you're getting ''[unclear]''
 '''Troll''': Chris, are you like a mathematic genius or something?
 (pause)
 '''Cassie's Friend''': You know some artist people have like superpowers in their head. They can do like geniuses and add really well. ''[interrupted briefly by Jack saying something else about savant]'' Chris you are already an artist. Do you have any like, magical powers?
 '''Troll''': Yeah, i heard autistic people are really good at math.
 '''Chris''': Mm. Well not all the stereo- some of that sounds like stereotypes.
 '''Troll''': ''[speaking over Chris]'' ...it has to do with mental ability; I mean, what's the...
 '''Chris''': I mean I don't know - i mean I'm not saying that I'm a total genius. I mean I know- I know enough to get by.
 '''Clyde:''' What's the highest level of math you've taken Chris?
 (pause)
 '''Chris''': College level.
 '''Clyde:''' No I mean like algebra, or calculus or...?
 (pause)
 '''Chris''': Yeah. I believe I just did trigonometry.
 '''Clyde:''' Very impressive.
 (long pause)
 '''Troll''': So I was wondering. When did you get the CAD degree? I figured it's like a fine arts degree or something? I mean wha-
 '''Chris''': ''[interrupting]'' I designed a whole- I designed buildings and machinery and such along there. I designed the whole CWCVille shopping center.
 '''Jack''': Why don't you have a job then?
 '''Clyde:''' Your fans would love to see that Chris.
 '''Max?:''' So Chris-
 '''Troll''': ''[interrupting]'' -I mean use that to design like, actual buildings?
 '''Chris''': I think i just told you i designed the CWCVille sho-
 '''Troll''': ''[interrupting]'' I don't mean in your comic. I'm just saying-
 ''[Audio cuts]''

===Clyde Isn't Popular And Chris Should Program===

 '''Chris''': Well it's a good st-
 '''Troll''': Chris...
 '''Chris''': Yeah?
 '''Jack''': So i heard you got some nudes up there on Youtube.
 '''Chris''': Uh, I'll be putting an update on da Youtube soon, but not right now.
 '''Troll''': I'm just thinking maybe you could like, you know, get a degree in game design and make the Sonichu game?
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah man, it's not that hard to learn programming. C++ man.
 ''Falsion''': Clyde, he hates you, why are you talking?
 '''Clyde:''' I'm just giving him some advice, i mean C++ is-
 '''Jack''': ''[interrupting]'' Why are you here? We don't like you. You totally ruined Chris's life.
 '''Clyde:''' I didn't ruin his life. He ruined his own life.
 '''Troll''': Yes you did. You've ruined his life. You raped his girlfriend.
 ''[Literally everyone in the mumble speaks at once over each other]''
 '''Clyde:''' If he was the man he said he was, he'd have gone to Nintendo, made all that money. How- how are you going to make money now Chris?
 '''Chris''': Time will tell.
 ''[everyone speaks again]''
 '''Troll''': Yeah, time will tell Clyde.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[unclear]'' -need a plan, you know?
 '''Troll''': I'm just thinking uh, if- uh- would you be interested in getting a degree in game design. Making the game or something? Like if you had to?
 '''Chris''': Hm. Maybe but uh- I still have things to sort out in my real life.
 '''Troll''': Yeah it's kinda unfortunate what happened with the Nintendo thing.
 '''Chris''': Yeah - hang on a second, I'll be right back. Mm- ''[clattering]''
 '''Clyde:''' So be honest guys am I really that much of a bother. I mean...
 '''Jack''': Yeah you kind of are.
 '''Troll''': You're like a total dickfart.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[muffled]''
 '''Troll''': You realise weed causes cancer?
 '''Jack''': Yeah.
 '''Troll''': I didn't know that.
 '''Jack''': And it causes the munchies. You're gonna get fat, Clyde.
 '''Clyde:''' It's okay, man, because I work out.
 '''Jack''': Do you play Guitar Hero standing up?
 '''Clyde:''' I play Guitar Hero while on the treadmill.
 '''Polly''': Will the Sonichu game be a- ''[muffled]'' -or a Wii one?
 '''Jack''': It be a Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Wii would like to play.
 '''Polly''': Oh. I only got a DS.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Chris, I heard you are very good at HTML. Why don't you make a HTML Sonichu game? That would be awesome.
 '''Troll''': I don't think you can make a game in HTML.
 '''Chris''': A- anyway I came back...
 '''Jack''': Chris? How many courses did you have to take to get that degree in CAD?
 '''Troll''': -pretty sure you can make a game in HTML-
 '''Chris''': ''[speaking over]'' I'm took abo- took about two- took about two years to four years.
 '''Clyde:''' I mean, if you can write HTML you can write C++, make your own games. Pretty simple man.
 '''Chris''': Hm. Well it's something I'll consider.
 '''Troll''': Clyde why are you talking to him? He hates you.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm trying to give him some suggestions. I'm not insulting him, ok?
 '''Troll''': HTML seems kinda outdated, so to speak.
 '''Chris''': I learn- I took two HTML classes so at least I know how to do- at least I know the ins and outs when it comes to like, workin' on it in the raw data- in the notepad.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': So you don't use Dreamweaver?
 '''Chris''': ''[interrupting]'' I also use Net- also use Netscape composer.
 ''[Someone starts singing 'Dreamweaver']''
 '''Troll''': I heard they went bankrupt or something.
 '''Chris''': I don't- i don- i don't listen to news because I don't care about bad news.
 '''Troll''': But that's not bad news that's just safety...
 ''[Talking over each other]''
 '''Jack''': Why you gotta bring this bad vibe in here?
 '''Troll''': Ok ok I'll chill, I'm sorry it's just my wife- ''[can't hear over Chris typing extremely loud]''
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Chris you don't hear about these ones in a while. Like yesterday some guy in my town got run over by a train and he- he died. And that's a really bad thing, you know but you have to hear about it.
 '''Jack''': Yeah but that's because you're Mexican. You Mexicans always play around the train tracks, what's with you?
 (pause)
 '''Clyde:''' No come on, don't be racist.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': It's because Mexicans are stupid. I'm suprised I can use a computer.
 '''Polly''': ''[muffled]'' CrassCrab why do you have to be so mean?
 '''Jack''': 'Cause my mother was raped by a Mexican. And I'm part Me- ''[muffled]''
 '''Troll''': I'm sorry man.
 '''Polly''': That isn't fair to take it out on every other Mexican out there.
 '''Troll''': His rule applied to millions. Just ignore him.
 '''Jack''': No I'm not my mother was raped by mexicans.
 '''Clyde:''' CrassCrab I'm tired of listening to you, get out of here.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Not all Mexicans are like that we- we- I am as Mexican guy. Not all Mexican guys are- ''[drowned out by typing]''
 '''Troll''': Don't get me started on them. But that will be another day. Cause I'm sick of hearing bad news.

===Chris Types Fast (And Hates Hex-Box)===

 '''Troll''': So Chris what are you uh- typing there?
 '''Chris''': Uh, I'm typing a email.
 '''Troll''': How many words can you type? How fast can you type? Sounding fast there.
 '''Chris''': Uhhh say about uh- sorta between thirty and a hundred.
 '''Clyde:''' That's quite a good range man.
 '''Troll''': You're like "The Flash", minus the red jump-suit.
 '''Polly''': Oh Chris um- I was wondering- ''[unclear]'' -would it be uh a Wii game or a DS game or both. I only own DS and I don't have any money for a Wii.
 '''Chris''': ''[overlapping]'' Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wii, DS and Pla- hopefully uh- possibly uh, Playstation 2 or 3. Never on [[Hex_Box|Hex-Box]].
 '''Troll''': When you gonna do this shit?
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Why don't you like the Hex-Box? I mean I have an Xbox, I would love to play online with you.
 '''Troll''': I'd like to say this. Before Chris says anything about that I just wanna say that today my wife came home from the mall shopping for her usual clothes, that Gucci purse i had to buy for her. You know what she came home with? I wanted a PS3 but you know what she gave me was a frickin' Xbox 360. The Elite one? ''[someone speaks over]'' I know, I kept telling her like "Honey this isn't what i wanted. I wanted the Playstation 3 so I can play LittleBigPlanet, Metal Gear Solid and Sonic Unleashed"
 '''Chris''': You can put Sonic Unleashed on the Hex Box as well as Wii.
 '''Polly''': ''[Too whiney to make out]''
 '''Troll''': So Nintendo just- rejected your offer? Cause I- I heard a rumour that there was going to be a Sonichu game or something.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Chris uh. Cassie wants you to send her your Wii number so she can talk to you on the Wii.
 '''Chris''': Alright uhhhhh. I'll get- have to get my Wii number now.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Send it to her in an email please.
 '''Troll''': Yeah they completely hate Sony. And they hate Microsoft as well. I mean this guy, Reggie? He always talks about kicking their ass and stuff. He's kinda crazy.
 '''Polly''': I know. Reggie's very mean he never brought out ''[something]'' to America.
 '''Troll''': Yeah i wanted to play that game.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[talked over]'' -I'm tellin' you guys. Reggie's just a great ''[unclear]''
 '''Polly''': Like what?
 '''Clyde:''' I can- I can't say anything ok but... you'll see.
 '''Max?:''' So Chris.
 '''Troll''': Yeah so I don't think like if you got the deal with Nintendo I don't think they'd put it on like mu- like anyhting else but the Wii or DS. Yeah, cause that Reggie guy he frickin' hates Sony. And Microsoft.
 '''Jack''': Wasn't he also the head of VH1?
 '''Polly''': Or Pizza Hut.
 '''Troll''': Chris. What are your favourite places to eat at?
 '''Polly''': I remember um he ''[something]'' -but before that he was with Sega when Dreamcast was out.
 '''Chris''': Yup. Let me type this email please. I mean y'all keep talking I'll jsut listen.
 '''Clyde:''' There's no reason to hate the Xbox. Let's be honest.
 (pause)
 '''Polly''': Or um- Chris um- do you wanna release your game on Nintendo and on Sony. If you do talk to somebody like EA or something, you can like do um- multi-console thing like a (?) party thing.
 '''Chris''': ''[busy typing]'' Hmm. Well it's all to think about.
 '''Polly''': I mean Sega does third party now so um-
 '''Chris''': Yeah well I'm gonna keep typing this email here. Y'all keep talking.
 ''[Sound of Chris typing]''
 '''Clyde:''' It's true, it's true.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Chris. Chris I wanted to tell you that Cassie's going to be here any- any second so you can talk to her.
 '''Chris''': Oh. Hm. ''[continues typing]''
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Don't you care about her?
 '''Chris''': ''[annoyed]'' I'm typin' da email to her right now!
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Oh ok.
 '''Polly''': Yeah um 360 is pretty bad um- it red-rings all the time.
 '''Max?:''' I've had mine over two years. The same one. And it has not red-ringed yet.
 '''Jack''': Dude you have to pay $50 just so you can play online.
 '''Chris''': ''[echoing]'' Yeah. Yeah.
 '''Jack''': Yeah it's bullshit.
 '''Chris''': Yeah it's totally free on Playstation. And Wii.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris. Chris. No, no, no, no, I gotta talk about this. (long pause) Chris...
 '''Chris''': ''[interrupting]'' I get less connection problems myself.
 '''Clyde:''' I can't let you get away with this Chris. You spent over $1000 on the Playstation Network. Ok? And you say you can't afford $50 for the Xbox? Terrible reason. That's a terrible reason.
 '''Polly''': Also, um, Cogs I had a friend of mine whose red-ringed a lot of times. She did not like it at all. She got herself a PS3 instead.
 ''[Chris is STILL typing]''
 '''Jack''': I heard that like- the PS triple eats up a lot of energy and like- has like- burned houses down. Cause it messes up the- no but the PS3 really-
 ''[More of Chris typing then audio cuts out]''
 '''Clyde:''' So when's the next comic coming out Chris?
 '''Chris''': I can't say. I don't have a date for it right now. I've been busy with the- with real life and such. You know getting the s- getting the website back up and all that.
 '''Polly''': Oh but I've been waiting so long.
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I gotta tell you something Chris. ''[something]'' -to the trolls but I haven't done anythin myself. It's run off into splinter groups doin' stuff to you. Ever since the Panda thing, I haven't done anything to you man. Everybody's been running round doing things. I have no control anymore. So I'm back here. This is why I'm back here. Do you understand?
 '''Chris''': Yeah. I hear you.

===Nudes On Youtube===

 '''Max?:''' Chris.
 '''Chris''': Yeah?
 '''Max?:''' So I hear you got some uh- nudes up there on Youtube.
 '''Chris''': What?
 '''Max?:''' Hear you got some nudes on Youtube.
 '''Chris''': ''[something]''
 '''Max?:''' NUDES!
 '''Chris''': That's what I thought- I have nothing na- I have nothing like that on the nu- on the Youtube. I've nothing like that.
 '''Troll''': Oh someone posted the pics form the ED page.
 '''Chris''': They're just tryin' ta get on- they're just tryin' ta get on my nerves again. But I'm not gonna let 'em.
 '''Troll''': Did you take those pictures or what? Where'd they come from?
 '''Polly''': Uh, are they Photoshopped?
 '''Chris''': Yeah most of- Yes. Most of them are Photoshopped.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris I can help you with ED. Chris I can help you with ED.
 '''Chris''': Mm. Yeah.
 '''Troll''': You can see the neck and the body doesn't quite match up.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Okay, Chris. Cassie's just arrived. She's a little nervous about talking to you, but she's gonna talk to you soon. Is that ok?
 '''Chris''': Yeah that's fine.
 '''Clyde:''' I just got one quick comment. The ED people were in contact with me, but I've lost contact with them. But I know you can delete that page permenantly. I'm tryin' to help you man. You can get that page down forever. Even the entire site.
 '''Troll''': What, after you raped uhm- Sarah?
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I'm trying to make amends. So let me do my business. All right?
 '''Troll''': It's too late to make amends. Look what you did.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[unclear]''
 '''Troll''': Chris.
 '''Chris''': Yeah?
 '''Troll''': Um. Cogsdev said she had a look at the data, they have it up in Image editing software.
 '''Other Troll''': Oh yeah. Well..
 '''Chris''': Well I don't know what to tell you there.
 ''[Several trolls speak at once]''
 '''Chris''': Sorry, what?
 '''Troll''': Doesn't that mean they're real?
 '''Chris''': No, I don't think so.
 '''Troll''': You don't think so?
 '''Other Troll''': Well, did you take them?
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Troll''': Then where did those pictures come from?
 '''Other Troll''': Yeah, who took those?
 '''Chris''': I don't know. And i'd rather not talk about that anymore. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
 '''Troll''': Are you lying to your fans Chris?
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Troll''': We don't feel confort- we don't feel comfortable. We're big fans of your work and we don't like being lied to.
 '''Jack''': I'd like to make a point. It might just be a doppelganger [sic].
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, you know the thing I hate most is lies. I like to spread the truth about you Chris.
 '''Troll''': You say you're honest, but you're lying to us.
 '''Chris''': ''[clearly annoyed]'' Fine, fine. Some those pictures are real.
 '''Troll''': Some of them?
 '''Chris''': Some of them but not all of them.
 '''Jack''': Like, which ones aren't real?
 '''Chris''': Uh, i'd rather not go into detail because i'd rather not look at 'em. Cause uh- ''[interrupted]''
 '''Troll''': ''[unclear]'' -are you ashamed of it?
 '''Jack''': Do you not like to look in the mirror?
 '''Troll''': You owe it- you owe it to your fans.
 '''Chris''': Yeah, but- yeah, but- yeha, but upon looking at those it's like ref- it's like reflecting a pe- uh p- a past moment in my life where I- I was played for the fool.
 '''Troll''': Oh yeah, by the man in the pickle suit?
 '''Chris''': Yeah.
 '''Troll''': Oh that guy - I hate that guy.
 '''Jack''': Yeah I saw- he was trolling some other people you know? So you're not alone, Chris.
 '''Troll''': Yeah he took pictures of me like that too...
 '''Chris''': Hmm.
 '''Troll''': That guy's an asshole, I hate him.
 '''Chris''': Uhhhh yep.
 '''Troll''': He took pictures of my wife too. Sick bastard.
 '''Polly''': ''[I think she says he is a peanut]''
 (pause)
 '''Chris''': Uh, I'm sorry, what?
 (another pause)

===Chris Hates Harry===

 '''Chris''': I just uh- never was fond of it. Ever since it came out, I was never fond of it. ''[unclear as troll speaks over]'' -just like I hate Harry Potter because he's s- he's goin- he's uh- in compe- was in competition against the world of Pokemon.
 '''Jack''': Well that- that doesn't make sense. But they're two different medias. Pokemon-
 '''Chris''': ''[interrupts]'' Yeah but- yeah but still he-
 '''Jack''': -Harry Potter is a book.
 '''Chris''': Yeah but he poses as competition against them.
 '''Jack''': That's not really competition. I mean-
 '''Clyde:''' ''[speaking over Jack]'' Oh that reminds me about books- Vivi- Vivian wrote a book and sent it to you. You never read it.
 '''Chris''': Yes. I am afraid I- yeah, yeah- I'm uh- I've been uh- so I've been under uh- too much stress between internet and all that. I'll ge- I'll read it, I'll read it
 '''Clyde:''' She's been waiting for your response for quite a long time.
 '''Chris''': Uh, I like the cover.
 (pause)
 '''Chris''': Nice cover.
 '''Troll''': Yeah he is right about that. That is a nice cover.
 '''Other Troll''': Yeah the book is pretty good - I read it.
 '''Chris''': Hm. Well I- I will definitely make it a point to uh- read it. Very soon.
 ''[Trolls talk over each other]''
 '''Polly''': ''[Audible over the others]'' Did you ever read Twilight?
 '''Chris''': I've heard th- I've heard Twilight and I've seen the trailer but I haven't seen the movie, I'll wait for it to come out DVD or Blu-Ray.
 (pause)

===Random Access Humor Python Style===

 '''Polly''': Oh ok, I heard a lot of girls like Twilight.
 '''Chris''': Hm. I see. Hey Polly does your voice sound like that, 'cause it sounds like a guy talking falsetto. I mean no personal offense.
 '''Polly''': That's not very nice...
 '''Chris''': I'm sorry. Believe me I didn't mean any pe- anything personal it's just like, you know- hm- kind- just kinda takes me by suprise a bit, that's all.
 '''Troll''': I knew a girl like that in high school.
 '''Polly''': ''[Sounding upset]'' I can't help it if I'm born like this.
 '''Chris''': Yeah I'm- I'm- I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you.
 '''Troll''': Yeah she's a girl. I saw her pics. She's a girl.
 '''Chris''': Well I'll s- I'll take his word for it. I'm sorry I cu- I accused you there.
 '''Polly''': Um. Ok.
 '''Chris''': You know, aut- I mean- let's- it's just uh- you know it's uh- you know it's uh a bit- just a spot of fun. [[Random-access_humor|Stupid humor]]. Monty Python's Flying Circus.
 '''Clyde:''' We know you love that. There's just so many references to it in the comic.
 '''Chris''': Yeah I d- after they put all of the entire series on Playstation Network I downloaded the Hamlet episode- that was the one that had uh- Jimmy Hill parodying himself. It also had this funny bit where it was like, you know- ''[in a stupid voice]'' "...and now it's time for The Robinsons, an everyday story about blah-de-blah-de-blah-de-blah. Dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-duhhh-dum-de-dum"- and so on...
 ''[A troll begins to speak but is interrupted by a very high-pitched Chris]''
 '''Chris''': "Morning Mrs. Robinson- Morning Mrs. Robinson. Comin' out shoppin'? Oh- you've been shoppin', what did you buy? What's this?-" 'What did you buy this for?'[Trolls laugh over him]'' -It was a bargain!"
 '''Troll''': I've heard you do that before. I don't know where. Anyway uh- uhm- Whatever happened to Jimmy Hill?
 '''Chris''': Hm. I haven't heard from him in a long time so just assuming uh- he gave up or uh-
 '''Jack''': ''[interrupting]'' I think he got a- I think he got a, uh- children's TV program in England.
 '''Chris''': Hm. Well he ain't botherin' me, so I'm not worried about him anymore.
 '''Jack''': Ye- but he's stealing Sonichu. Bastardizing it.
 '''Chris''': Yeah he did but uh- he s- but haven't seen any updates on his-
 '''Troll''': ''[Talks over Chris]'' - profile, he's still doing it.
 ''[Several trolls talk over each other about him having a TV show]''

===Chris Fails At Spanish Pt. 2===

 '''Chris''': ''[Sigh]''
 ''[Troll says something more about the TV show, but it's muffled]''
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Hey, Chris?
 '''Chris''': Yeah?
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Chris. Cassie wants to say hi. Just forgive her English because she can't speak very well, okay?
 '''Chris''': All right. Just sent her the email by the way, just now.
 '''Cassie''': Hey, Chris. It's me, Cassie.
 '''Chris''': Hi, Cassie. How are you?
 '''Cassie''': Fine, and you?
 '''Chris''': I'm feelin' ok.
 '''Cassie''': Why haven't you emailed me? I was really about-was really worried about you. What's happened?
 '''Chris''': I'm sorry. I be- I've bee- I've been busy with the Internet and the stress and all that. I sent ya an email just now go- it's got my Wii number in it so you can add me to your contacts. I've been talking to uh- I've been talking to Sarah lot- quite a bit lately. She's been helping me with uh- updating the Sonichu site, since I've uh- since I'm working on uh- it's re-uploading and such.
 '''Cassie''': K, I believe you. I going to check ''[pronounced like 'sheg']'' it, okay?
 '''Chris''': You're going to where?
 '''Troll''': ''[very quietly]'' Check it.
 '''Cassie''': To check it.
 '''Chris''': To "shag-it"? Is that the-
 '''Cassie''': Check the email.
 '''Chris''': ''[still doesn't understand]'' Oh.
 '''Cassie''': I going to check the email.
 '''Chris''': Oh. ''[unintelligible]''
 '''Troll''': Check the email.
 '''Chris''': Oh, check email. ''[Laughs]'' Yeah I'm sorry I tr- I tried to uh- understand but it just kind of messed up a little bit.
 '''Jack''': Why don- why don't you two speak in Spanish?
 '''Chris''': Uhhh. I'm not exactly fluent.
 '''Cassie''': ¿Sabes hablar español, Chris? (Do you know how to speak Spanish?)
 '''Chris''': Sí, hablo español (Yes, I speak Spanish)
 '''Cassie''': Oh. ''[pause, one of the trolls says something to her]'' Oh, eso es muy sexy. (That is very sexy.)
 '''Chris''': Ohhhh. Te gusta. Te gusta muchísimo, (You like it. You like it a lot)
 '''Cassie''': La verdad, si. (To tell you the truth, yes)
 '''Chris''': Mmm. Me amos mis amigas muchísimas. Sons muy bueñas! (I love my friends (feminine) a lot. They are very good.) [Correction: Amo a mis amigas muchísimo. Son muy buenas.]
 '''Cassie''':Oh, eso es tan cool en español! Muy bueno! (That's so cool in Spanish! Very good)
 '''Chris''': Muy bueño (very good)
 '''Cassie''': Aha, exacto. (it is!)
 '''Chris''': ''[Laughs]'' Okay, that's good.
 '''Cassie''': Well, I going down, okay?
 '''Chris''': Okay, you're going down- by the way, let me ask ya Cassie, do you ever- you've uh- you've actually met uh Sarah May in person, haven't you?
 '''Cassie''': Not. She's on Internet.
 '''Chris''': Oh. Okay. That's cool- but anyway uh- you got- you d- you have my Wii number, uh- you can reply the email with your Wii number and it'll be registered on the Wii network.
 '''Cassie''': ''[very haltingly]'' Yes. So. Cool. Talk with you Chris. You are so cool.
 '''Chris''': Heh. Uhhhh. You flatter me. Tù me flatteray. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Cassie''': ''[Weak laugh]'' Well, see you.
 '''Chris''': Adíos.
 '''Cassie''': Adíos.
 '''Chris''': ''[In his 'baby voice']'' Adíos. ''[sigh]''
 '''Cassie''': Adíos, bebé.
 '''Chris''': Adíos, chiquita bonita. ''[Laughs]''
 (Pause as audio cuts out)
 '''Chris''': -it again.
 (Another pause)
 '''Clyde:''' So anyway, Chris. I've been working on Rabbichoso for a day and uh- I was just wonderin' like, it's- it's supposed to comete with Sonichu, you know? If you weren't aware of that.
 '''Chris''': Uhhhh. I grabbed onto d- grabbed onto i- grabbed onto the jist. I'm aware- I'm aware of the just of the theory. Uh. I'm aw- I'm aware that you're tryin' to compete.
 '''Clyde:''' You know what competition does. It's drives uh- it drives consumer interest- ''[muffled]'' - that's why I'm trying to help dude. You know, compete. Just so you're aware of this, ok?
 '''Chris''': I see. -see.
 (Pause)

===Rabbichoso And Animu===

 '''Troll''': So Chris we've been ge- been getting uh threatening images from the Pickle Man. Did you s- did you see the left?
 '''Chris''': Uh. I've not heard from the Pickle Man in lo- in a long time.
 '''Troll''': Apparently there are multiple ones because this one is, uh, not a darkie.
 '''Chris''': Uh-huh.
 '''Troll''': It's good that they're leaving you alone now.
 '''Chris''': Yep.
 '''Jack''': Seems like they found more easier targets. Seeing as how you became [[Navy|saltier]].
 '''Chris''': Uh. You know I originally got that quote from an e- ep- episode of ExCel Saga.
 '''Jack''': From what?
 '''Chris''': ExCel Saga.
 '''Jack''': Oh, ExCel Saga. Oh, yeah, that's a good anime.
 '''Chris''': ''[Quotes ExCel saga. Can't understand what he's saying]''
 '''Troll''': Uh, have you ever seen two animes, ''[muffled]'' and Schooldays?
 '''Chris''': Hmm. I have not seen either of those. I like Steel Angel Kurumi as well.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, how much Japanese do you know?
 '''Chris''': Only a little bit. I'm not totally fluent. I can say that with all honesty.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Says something in Japanese]''
 '''Chris''': Huh?
 '''Clyde:''' Never mind, you won't understand it.
 '''Polly''': ''[Something] Chris-Chan. Thank you desu ga [sic]''

===Chris Could Kill Clyde===

 '''Falsion''': Yeah, I just wanted to say, uh, you're doing a good job, like, keeping calm even though Clyde is here. I mean u- I thought you'd be, like, more angry at him.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm being calm with you guys.
 '''Troll''': -I would have been choking him by now.
 '''Other Troll''': I'd have kicked his ass.
 '''Chris''': Preach to the choir. Pr-
 '''Troll''': ''[interrupts]'' I'd make him choke on a pickle if it were up to me.
 '''Clyde:''' You guys can't touch me otherwise i'd kick all your asses. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Chris''': Huh.
 '''Troll''': Yeah, bring it.
 '''Troll''': Chris could kick Clyde's ass anytime.
 '''Clyde:''' Let's see Chris do it.
 '''Chris''': Bring it to me any day of the week and I'll definitely show him a hard- day's night.
 '''Troll''': Yeah I think you could kick his ass.
 [Trolls and Clyde talk over each other]
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Jack''': ''[Sings]'' -been a hard day's night...
 '''Clyde:''' -never mind, just...
 '''Chris''': I mean that as a- meant that as in I would beat... him up.
 '''Troll''': Kick his ass?
 '''Chris''': I'm very strong.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Chris. I'm gonna see you later, ok?
 ''[Unison of goodbyes]''
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Ok see ya. Thank you so much Chris.
 '''Chris''': ''[ignoring his fans]'' Yeah I can- I can lift about my weight.
 '''Troll''': Like um- if Clyde were right in front of you, what would you do to him?
 '''Clyde:''' Like, what kind of style of fighting do you have?
 '''Troll''': Hey, shut up.
 '''Clyde:''' I gotta know my competition.
 '''Chris''': Personal- in the physical offense. ''[sigh]'' I would definitely be giving you so much physical pain.
 '''Clyde:''' That's not a s- that's not a style.
 '''Chris''': I would beat you up.
 '''Troll''': He deserves it man.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, that's still not a style...
 '''Jack''': He uses fisticuffs. He's a gentleman. Gentleman fisticuffs.
 '''Clyde:''' Whatever, I'll just see-
 '''Troll''': Stop arguing and just-
 '''Other Troll''': ''[Over previous troll]'' I mean, if he did that to my sweetheart i'd fucking kill him.
 '''Clyde:''' Well. He's not- he's not going to come over and kill me, I know that. He doesn't have the money. (pause) You know I'm suprised that you're mad here. You're much kinder in person I thought you- Now I'm just expecting you at my door anytime, just waiting for you to stand here with an axe or something.
 '''Chris''': Knives are too messy.
 '''Clyde:''' Ah, now a sword- sword's are usually better.
 '''Troll''': What about poison?
 '''Clyde:''' Poison's good, poison's good.
 '''Troll''': Clyde, what - do you want him to beat your ass?
 '''Clyde:''' No I was just expectingit, you know.
 '''Chris''': Yeah, you know what's another thing? I would definitely not tell you how I would be hurting you, but I would definitely give you a who- big amount of pain.
 '''Troll''': Oh, he's gonna keep you guessin'!
 '''Chris''': Yeah.
 '''Troll''': Yeah he deserves it. After everything he's done-
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Muffled by troll]'' -going to kill me, i'd like to know.
 '''Chris''': Uh. I'm just going to let you cover in- worry.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh so you're never going to show up, it's-
 '''Chris''': ''[interrupts]'' Oh yes I will show up. But you just won't be expecting it.
 '''Clyde:''' You don't even know where I live, do you?
 '''Chris''': Find out!
 '''Clyde:''' Maybe I should give you my address.
 '''Troll''': Chris, you should track him down and kick his ass.
 '''Clyde:''' But I'm going to leave you guessing too...
 '''Troll''': Defend Panda's h- Panda's honor.
 '''Other Troll''': Hey Julie.
 '''Polly''': Oh, hi Julie.
 '''Clyde:''' 'sup Julie.
 ''[Pause]''
 '''Chris''': Hey Julie.
 ''[Everyone talks over each other]''

===Clyde's A Dick===

 '''Chris''': Yeah I notice her mic doesn't work. But still I'm just letting her know that- aknowledge her presence.
 '''Troll''': You're doing well staying calm even thought Clyde's here.
 '''Jack''': Yeah, Clyde's a total dick.
 '''Chris''': Yep.
 '''Troll''': Fucker.
 ''[Rustling]''
 '''Troll''': I mean, he's taken over everything. The IRC. This. I can't- noone can stop him.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[muffled]'' -over there, so...
 '''Female Troll''': I- I like Rabbichoso.
 '''Clyde:''' Of course you do. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Female Troll''': It's funny.
 '''Chris''': I will not offer any new comment on it.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, ok.
 '''Jack''': Chris, when can we expect the next Sonichu to be released.
 '''Troll''': Yeah, we've been eager.
 '''Chris''': It'll be soon. It will be soon.
 '''Troll''': Yeah just ignore Clyde man.
 '''Clyde:''' I mean if you're going to put a hard date on it, you'd better deliver your promise. If you don't, I'll strike harder. That's all I'm saying.
 '''Chris''': Hmm. You're saying if I don't set a date, you're gonna...
 '''Clyde:''' No, no. I'm saying don't make promises you can't keep. Don't make promises you can't keep.
 '''Chris''': Hmm.
 '''Troll''': He'll choke you with his medallion bitch!
 ''' Other Troll''': Yeah, who the hell do you think you are?
 '''Clyde:''' I agree with Cogs over there. Maybe you should do just a page a day, not release all at once. Keep his-
 '''Troll''': ''[interrupts]'' Why are you telling him this when he hates you?
 '''Clyde:''' I'm giving him suggestions man, ok? Ok?
 '''Troll''': Only thing he's gonna suggest to you is 'shut the fuck up'!
 '''Other Troll''': Yeah, seriously man.
 '''Chris''': It's alright.
 (pause)
 '''Troll''': Penny Arcade's slow.
 '''Polly''': Oh you mean like Penny Arcade or ''[something]'' or MegaTokyo?
 '''Troll''': Yeah they're just like- boring. Then they because sellouts.

===Chris's Country Cookin===

 '''Other Troll''': Chris, where's your favourite place to eat?
 '''Chris''': Hmm. Can't really say uh- but I like country cookin'.
 '''Troll''': Oh yeah?
 '''Other Troll''': What's country cooking?
 '''Chris''': Uh no G's in the sto- no G's in the name by the way, no G.
 '''Troll''': Yeah what's country cooking? I'm not familiar with that.
 '''Chris''': It's like uh- som- something like Golden Corral.
 '''Jack''': But Golden Corral is a national franchise.
 '''Chris''': Mmm.
 '''Polly''': Uh Chris, how are your parents?
 '''Chris''': They're ok.
 '''Polly''': Oh ok.
 (Long pause)

===Sex Is Shit===

 '''Clyde:''' Chris I've got a sug- another suggestion. Now be quiet all of you cause I know you hate me. Just-
 '''Troll''': No, Chris hates you.
 '''Clyde:''' Well don't defend him. He can defend himself ok? He's a man. But whatever-
 '''Chris''': Let him speak.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm suggesting that- you go on and on about this sex stuff but you've never gotten laid, have you?
 '''Chris''': I like to put myself in the imaginative situation that i'd like to be in and the sexual stimulation. So i can be ready for [[ego|myself]] for when I do actually have my first time.
 '''Clyde:''' Well my first time was- I'll just say that it's terrible, ok? I didn't know what I was doing, she didn't know-
 '''Chris''': Let me guess, you prematurely ejaculated?
 '''Clyde:''' No, no, no, it's not like that you don't know what to do. Every woman's told me ok? You can't prepare-
 '''Troll''': ''[Talks over Clyde]'' First time's always awkward...
 '''Clyde:''' - I learnt that mistake a while back, ok whatever. Ok, you just- you can't prepare for your first time. You might as well just have a really bad first time so you learn from your mistakes.
 '''Troll''': I'm not trying to defend Clyde or anything, but yeah it's kinda true.
 '''Clyde:''' Hmm.
 '''Troll''': The girl I first fell in love with is the girl I'm married to right now. Samantha just changed my world. But marriage does get boring.

===Chris's Tips To STAY STRAIGHT===

 '''Troll''': Chris, I know how you say how important it is to stay straight, um- I'm having trouble staying straight, do you have any suggestions?
 '''Chris''': Watch a bunch of pornography with uh- with naked women. Ok, a lot of naked women.
 '''Troll''': That happened to me one time...
 '''Falsion''': Chris, I have this friend I play videogames with, is that gay? He's male by the way.
 '''Chris''': Sorry could you- I'm sorry could you repeat that?
 '''Falsion''': I have this guy I'm friends with he always comes over to my house to play videogames. Is that gay? I'm kinda scared. You know? I don't wanna be gay.
 '''Chris''': Hm. Hmm. Is he making any advances towards you? Personally.
 '''Falsion''': I dunno how to tell.
 '''Chris''': Like uh sit- does he always sit next to you when he's playing games. Playing videogames.
 '''Falsion''': Yeah he usually does.
 '''Chris''': Hmm. I see. Hmm. My- well- my suggestion in that case, would be to keep a heavy distance between you and that guy.
 '''Falsion''': I don't think he meant anything gay by it though.
 '''Chris''': Sorry, what?
 '''Falsion''': I don't think he means anything like- gay about it.
 '''Chris''': Well, still- it's always best to find out- you can ask him. Don't be afraid to ask him.
 '''Falsion''': What would you do in this situation?
 '''Chris''': Well if he said yes then I would uh- basically- let me think about that a moment.
 '''Falsion''': Do you have any friends whore are like, guys?
 '''Chris''': Only aquaintances and only a few of them.
 '''Falsion''': Do you play videogames with people or anything? Do they come over to your house?
 '''Chris''': No. No.
 '''Polly''': Um, I remember-
 '''Falsion''': ''[Cuts Polly off]'' I'm just worried I might be gay or something. I don't wanna be gay.
 '''Jack''': You probably are Falsion, but that's ok. No, look dude.
 '''Chris''': Leave him alone! Leave him alone! He's straight!
 '''Jack''': Why?
 '''Troll''': Hey, let's have a calm conversation here. Let's not have any fights.
 '''Chris''': Yeah. Yeah.
 ''[Trolls speak over each other]''
 '''Troll''': I've been reading the Sonichu comics and man, they are page-turners! Seri- I was on- I was on the edge of my seat for a while. I ju- I couldn't- I couldn't- you know. Just had to read and read.
 '''Chris''': Hm. Thank you.
 '''Falsion''': Chris, can I be your friend? I know I'm a guy. I don't mean anything gay by it. Can I be your friend?
 '''Chris''': Mm. I dunno.

===A Wild Snorlax Appears===

 '''Barbara:''': Do you want any hotdogs?
 '''Chris''': No, I'm ok.
 '''Falsion''': No?
 '''Chris''': I was talking with my mother.
 '''Falsion''': Oh. I was wondering if I could be your friend.
 '''Chris''': Oh. Mmm.
 '''Falsion''': Oh. I h- heard you only like, you only like to be aquaintances. With guys.
 '''Chris''': Yeah, ummm. Let's just pretty much leave it at aquaintance.
 '''Jack''': Hello Mrs. Chandler.
 '''Chris''': She can't hear you, I'm wearing my earphones.
 '''Falsion''': Listen, I'm not gay. I don't- you know- yeah. Nevermind.
 '''Chris''': Yeah I mean- I mea- I-
 '''Clyde:''' What do you have against gay people? I'm serious to hear this.
 '''Chris''': It's just unnatural and it's against God's will.
 '''Clyde:''' I mean, it's not like it's a choice. You can't change who you are like- you're a creative guy but I mean they're just gay. They can't change that.
 '''Chris:''' I'm just answering a few questions mother.
 '''Barbara:''': You don't have to answer. Nobody's payin' you to do that.
 '''Jack''': Yes they are.
 ''[shuffling sounds, clanging]''
 '''Barbara:''': It ain't none of their business no-way.
 '''Chris''': Hm.
 '''Barbara:''': I wouldn't be asked questions like that by employers or anybody. Don't tell people what you d- what you think. Keep that to yourself.
 '''Troll:''' Chris what's hap- what's happening?
 '''Chris:''' Well, obviously, my mother is offering her input.
 '''Jack''': Tell her you're just talking to some friends.
 '''Barbara:''': ''[muffled]'' I don't need no back talk from somebody on the other end of the phone.
 '''Chris:''' I hear you, Mom. Hmm. Hmm.
 ''[scraping sounds]''
 '''Barbara:''': These- these idiots don't have any brains or- they don't have any idea this way or that.
 ''[more banging, clanging and tumbling sounds. Sounds like washing up]''
 '''Troll:''' Is right now a bad time right now? I mean-
 '''Chris:''' Pixelblocks, Pixelblocks!
 '''Jack''': Someone's saying "Pixelblocks."
 '''Troll:''' Chris, are you saying [[Pixelblocks]]?
 '''Chris:''': ''[Laughs]''
 ''[Chris's mom has been singing]''
 '''Jack''': Your mother has a beautiful singing voice, Chris.
 (Audio cuts)
 '''Barbara:''': ''[Audio cuts back in]'' -all the anxiety, causing you stress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well sometimes they don't; they can be peaceful.
 '''Barbara:''': Well, your mom and dad get the crappy end of the stick.
 '''Chris:''': Mmm, a lot of us do.
 ''[more clattering sounds]''
 '''Barbara:''': Yeah, just like this nasty mess over here that you guys left that I got to clean up.
 '''Chris:''' Mm. ''[Audio cuts]'' -Yeah, I took care of my bills. I mean, not completely, but I took care of them.
 '''Troll:''' What about going to, uh, Redmond?
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''':We! (Wii?)
[unintelligible]
windows beeps
 '''Troll''': ''[laughing]'' Yeah, sweetheart pool.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''': Mmhmm. ''[laughing]'' Like the other side of the pillow.
''[someone sighing]''
 ''[Clanging noises return after short absence]''
 '''Clyde:''' ''[unclear]'' ..is all, I mean, living with your parents is okay bad--in today's bad economy, but at 26, come on.
 '''Troll''': Shut up, you.
 '''Clyde:''' Now, I'm being nice.
 '''Troll''': Clyde isn't so bad a guy. He does bad things, but he's pretty cool.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''': Yeah he's reformed. He's seen the error- Yeah.
 '''Troll''': How- how could he do that to Sarah? I mean- That's not right.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''': Yeah. Well, that's like Luke... That's like Luke and Laura from General Hospital. I know that's like, before y'all's time, but, um... Luke was a rapist and she--he raped Laura and then, like, a few months later they get married. So... ''[Laughs]''
 '''Polly''': Yeah, I believe Clyde was trying to make amends from his past actions.
 '''Falsion''': Yeah, but Chris, can you uh- can you forgive him?
 '''Random Troll''': ''[whispering]'' White whale, holy grail!
 '''Troll''': Can you forgive a small-dicked Asian? Just a thought.
 '''Jack''': He's not Asian!
 '''Clyde:''' I'm half-Asian, okay? My parents ''[unclear]'' I don't really wanna go into it. It's too bo-boring for you people. But this is why I ''[unclear]''.
 '''Troll''': Chris, are you there? Just makin' sure, buddy.
 ''[clattering]''
 '''Troll''': Move out.
 '''Another Troll''': Well, how do I do that?
 '''Troll''': What?
 '''Chris:''' Hi there, my kitty. ''[In baby voice]'' Yes, there's a pretty kitty.
 ''[Someone speaking with a voice-synth]''
 '''Troll''': Hang on a second. I've got, like, a thousand different... Oh, Crass, why'd you do that?
 '''Jack''': Because. You can unban him but, yeah. I'm not gonna friggin' stand for that.
 ''[Sound of a vacuum cleaner]''
 '''Jack''': I (m j d?) do that.
 '''Troll''': I heard the "g" word.
 '''Polly''': Um, is that a vacuum cleaner?
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''': Yeah, sounds like it is.
 [Trolls speak but are drowned out by vacuum]''
 '''Clyde:''' ..room or something.
 '''Polly''': I think the vacuum cleaner..
 '''Clyde:''' If that's the government trying to do some kind of thing, then my name's Rusty Shackleford.
 '''Troll''': Oh.
 '''Polly''': Oh, okay.
 '''Troll''': That's a loud fan.
 '''Other Troll''': I have a fan above my stove, too.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''': Hey... I do, too.
 '''Clyde:''' Wait- wha- wait. You-you-you're in the kitchen?
 '''Troll''': Me too.
''[possibly Sonic game sound effects]''
 '''Max:''' Chris?
 '''Chris:''' Mmhm? Mm.
 '''Max:''' I'm pretty sure it's already asked, but I didn't catch the answer. When can we expect the next Sonichu comic?
 '''Clyde:''' I-I-I told you my suggestion of releasing a page a day or something. I mean, it's a pretty good one. It-it-it allows for a good time. Finish a page a day. You upload it. You know? It's very good. Works very well.
 ''[Barbara singing]''
 '''Polly''': Uh. I mean- you guys keep asking when he's going to finish it but I wonder how many pages are going to be in the new one?
 '''Clyde:''' The last one was like, thirty. Just release it over the span of a month. Works fine.
 '''Troll''': ...go up to ninety thousand..
 '''Clyde:''' ''[mutters something]''
 ''[Sound of Barbara singing]''
 '''Barbara:''' Down by the river...side
 '''Jack''': Your mother has a beautiful voice, Chris.
''[clattering, typing]''
 '''Barbara:''': '[[unclear, repeating the same two phrase]'' Gone down by the river, down by the water side, down by the riverside. Down by the waterside. Down by the riverside.
 '''Polly''': I remember ''[unclear]''
 ''[Audio cuts]''
 '''Troll''': -I'm hungry myself.
''[some kind of alarm sounding]''
 '''Max:''' Then go eat.
 '''Troll''': No, you.
 '''Max:''' I already ate.

===Anime And Shit===

 '''Polly''': I wonder what anime Chris watches nowadays. There's not many on television but do you still watch Japanese cartoons?
 '''Troll''': ''[In a bad accent]'' Kawaii desu ne
 '''Other Troll''': I want to watch Shuffle. He said it was very good. He said it was sad. I don't know if I wanna watch- I don't like sad stuff. I like to be happy when I watch anime.
 '''Polly''': Oh, and um, do you watch stuff like Bleach and um Code Geass or Naruto or something?
 ''[Pause]''
 '''Other Troll''': I'm glad to hear that Shuffle isn't sad. I'm definitely going to watch it sometime.
 '''Troll''': Um, yeah Chris that was a good call on Naruto.
 '''Other Troll''': Yeah there's a lot of people who don't like it much either. Too popular.
 '''Troll''': But please. Please. Hope. ''[audio cuts out briefly]'' Uh, Chris, please consider When They Cry.
 '''Other Troll''': Ooh, I saw that one. It was a really good series.
 '''Troll''': Oh, I know; that was good, like-
 '''Other Troll''': Yeah. Both seasons of it.
 ''[Windows beeps, voices overlapping]''
 '''Troll''': I could link you to Season One if you want. Yeah, Samantha got me into that.
 '''Other Troll''':..you'll give it a try, Chris. It's a very, very good series.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''': Hm. Hey, Julie. How are you?
 '''Other Troll''': ...lots of ''[unclear]''
 '''Troll''': Watch Shuffle. You got the six episodes of Shuffle or... Which o- which anime? I'm sorry.
 '''Troll''': Oh and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is also cool.
 '''Polly''': I really liked JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Very ''[[unclear]''
 '''Troll''': Za warudo!
 '''Troll''': Oh yeah, I think Shuffle is quite all right. I like Heidi. She's sweet and loyal.
 '''Other Troll''': That's a good one. One of my favorites is Black Lagoon.
 '''Polly''': Um, is that the one with the blue girl?
''[[Trolls talk over each other about different anime]''
 '''Troll''': Hey, uh, Chris can I, my, uh, I don't know if it's all right, but, like, could you like, give me an email sometime? I could, uh... recommend you to... this anime that... Polly and... Julie like to watch. They're quite- they... Oh, C--and Cogs has recommended such great anime.
 '''Chris:''' ''[talking to his mother]'' Yeah? That's ''[unclear]''
 '''Troll''': As well as Julie--Julie's the person that got me into anime.

===People Love Poketunes===

 '''Chris:''' -we can go into this later cause I got my headphones on. And, Mom, you know what something else? They liked your singing.
 '''Barbara:''': What? I don't sing.
 '''Chris:''': You just did!
 '''Barbara:''': That's my laugh; that's my laugh. They couldn't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' They heard you. Singin'. Just now.
 '''Barbara:''': I can't sing!
 '''Chris:''': You just did!
 '''Barbara:''': I'm tone deaf.
 '''Chris:''' They just heard you singing, and liked your voice.
 '''Barbara:''': Okay Did you write checks for all those bills and pack everything ''[unclear]''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yes, Mother, I did.
 '''Barbara:''': You're not telling me no story?
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm not telling you no story.
 '''Barbara:''': Ok. It's important [''inaudible''] did you pay them?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I paid that one.
 '''Barbara:''': Okay, you have to be honest with me, 'cause, see, you're settin'...
 '''Chris:''' I'm being honest, I'm being honest.
 '''Barbara:''': How you respond to what [we] talk about. You say you ought to something and you don't do it then that's gonna change my ideas ''[unclear]''.
 '''Chris:''' Okay... I'll be sure to pay the remaining differences next month.
 '''Barbara:''': No, this month.
 '''Chris:''' I know but I couldn't pay them all with 90 dollars so there's still some left ''[sound cuts]'' ...oh, you're cooking them up here, okay, that's why you turned the fan on over the stove.
 (Audio cuts)
 ''[Trolls rejoice and mock Momma Chandler]''

{{transcription}}

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 1|Mumble Chat 1]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 3|Mumble Chat 3]]|}}

==Links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?mtnztmniomk Download]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Talk:Bunny Hop

2010-03-31T02:46:44Z

Pitifuladultlife: /* "We're gonna have fun"? */ new section

It's Champ. No, I am not being vain but Ivy decided to name one of her hermit crabs after me, along with CrassCrab (the first voice of Chris in [[Sonichu:The Animated Series]]) and wanted Chris to give a shoutout. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:09, 13 April 2009 (CEST)

== Pyon pyon pyon, for Crass and Champ~ ==

Apparently "pyon" is the Japanese onomatopoeia for a rabbit jumping. Oh Chris, you goddamn weeaboo (lol, like I should talk). --[[User:Lime|Lime]] ([[User_talk:Lime|Scold?]] | [[Special:Contributions/Lime|Undo?]]) 03:43, 5 June 2009 (CEST)
* Oh wow, that's quite interesting. Would anyone know where he got it from? [[Excel Saga]]? [[Sailor Moon]]? Are there any Bunny-[[Pokémon]]?
** Late reply, BUUUUT: I haven't seen [[Excel Saga]] in ages so if it did have any pyons I wouldn't remember, and there are two rabbit [[Pokémon]] (Buneary and Lopunny) but they don't say that as far as I know. While I haven't seen a lot of [[Sailor Moon]] in a while either (I watched a couple of episodes a few days ago, but none of them had it), I'd imagine that's where he got it because the protagonist's name is Usagi (rabbit). Or maybe he got it somewhere else, who knows? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 19:46, 14 February 2010 (UTC)

*I don't know much about anime, but from what I read, it was used in a series called FLCL, (http://www.flclw.com/glossary.htm) another cartoon, Mini Moni, which was based on a J-pop girl group, and I would guess a variety of other sources, since it's a part of the language. According to Wikipedia, FLCL began airing on [[Adult Swim]] in about 2003, so it would be safe to guess that Chris might have seen it there. [[User:Pitifuladultlife|Pitifuladultlife]] 00:51, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
== alt version of vid ==
now with less pyon
http://www.mediafire.com/?4nqmrn2qzn5
[[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:54, 13 October 2009 (CEST)

== "We're gonna have fun"? ==

I guess it was decided awhile back that he's saying, 'we'regonnahavefun', but I can't hear that at all. The closest that I can hear is something like, "Is that fun?" and then some other equally unintelligible thing at the end after he bends down to pick up the ear. I know the video's almost a year old now, but I was wondering what other people think about it. [[User:Pitifuladultlife|Pitifuladultlife]] 02:46, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

Bunny Hop

2010-03-31T02:30:40Z

Pitifuladultlife:

'''Bunny Hop''' is a video by [[Christian]], shot on Easter [[2009]]. It shows [[Chris]] pretending to be a bunny, and doing a [[Retard|retarded]] dance.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Bunny Hop
| image = {{#ev:youtube|VPX7zS23n0U}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Crazy.png]] Crazy
| Saga = [[Image:Ivy_saga.png]] [[Ivy]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Redstripeshirt.png]] Red Stripe
| previous = [[The Return of Kimmi]]
| next = [[A CWC Audition]]
}}

===Transcript===

[[Image:0031-EasterChristopher.jpg|thumb|A formative experience.]]

(Voice Over: "Pyoonn pyoonn pyoonn! For [[Crass and Champ|Crass and]] [[User:Champthom|Champ]]! Pyoonnnn pyoonnnn pyoonnnn!")

''[Chris is seen holding a pair of pipe cleaners behind his head to represent rabbit ears. He squats down to place his PS3 controller on the ground and gets back up.]''

''[attempting a kind of English accent]'' Hoppy Easter! Ivyyyyy! Crass and... Champ! Mmmm... Hoppy Easter!

''[Begins hopping around, doing a [[Fail|god-awful]] rendition of "Bunny Hop", a children's song, flailing his arms and wiggling around]''

''[Around 0:44 Chris attempts to continue the song using kissing noises]''

Awwww! Hoppy Easter! Hoppy Easter! Mmm...[[Sex|we'regonnahavefun!]] ''[One of his "ears" falls off, and Chris reaches down to pick it up, he makes another unintelligible sound, and the video abruptly ends.]''
{{clear}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[The Return of Kimmi]]|nextlink=[[A CWC Audition]]|}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:Bunny Hop

2010-03-31T00:51:04Z

Pitifuladultlife:

Challenge for Clyde II

2010-03-30T23:44:32Z

Pitifuladultlife:

"'''Challenge for Clyde II'''" (originally "'''10142009'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] demands [[Clyde Cash]]/[[Gregg Mays]] come face him, so that Chris can beat him up. He claims that Gregg Mays lives in [[Charlottesville]], and that he knows this because he has the [[Lie|FBI working for him]]. The audio quality in this video is very poor, probably due to Chris's constant abuse of his [[PSEye|camera]]. Between his slow, monotonous speaking pattern (possibly enhanced as he tries to speak through his [[Chris and anger|rage]]) and the constant skipping in the audio, Chris manages to sound even more like a robot than usual.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Challenge for Clyde II
| image = {{#ev:youtube|92DtWN3_Xes}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 14 October 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:reason.png]] Reason
| Shirt = [[Image:horizontalbluegrayshirt.png]] Vertical blue gray
| Saga = [[Image:clyde_saga.png]] Clyde Saga
| previous = [[Chris_Loses_It| Chris Loses It]]
| next = [[War_Paint_Video| War Paint Video]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

Look, Mr. Gregg Mays, Clyde Cash, whatever your name is. I know you are within the city of [[Charlottesville]] and I'm still waiting for you. I am the target you want. You do not need to attack my friends or my family or anybody else. All you want is me. So you come over here and face me, man. Because I know you are a coward, just behinding—hiding behind the veil of the Internet. ''[makes a "box" motion with his hand]''

And the veil of the Internet is not as safe as you think it is. I know, because I've had my detectives and police forces and FBI working to track you down. And I kn-and we know that you are within Charlottesville, Virgina. ''[annoyed sigh]'' There is no denying that. You are in no other state at this point within these united states. So you could jus-so just give it up. You come to me now. Come face me like a man. Unless you want to continue being called a cow-a quivelling coward who hides under his mother's skirt.

You... I dare not hide, because I show myself every day. I try... I do my best to keep to keep you at bay, and I am doing [what] I can. I want--and I want you to back off my friends and come face me man to man. Because you cannot hide anymore. You cannot hide anymore. You come face me. You face me in person, face to face. There is no substitute for the in-person... That. [[10112009|And I will beat you up]]. So lay off. My friends and my-my other... ''[emphatically]'' my friends and [[Chandler Family Tree|my family]], and come face me, man to man. I'll leave you with that. Come face me. ''[bares [[fangs]]]'' I am waiting. I'm still waiting. Don't make me wait too much longer.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Loses It]]|nextlink=[[War Paint Video]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]