CWCki - User contributions [en]

Harvey Birdman Commercial

2011-10-06T04:00:32Z

PowerThrills: Not actually in the video.

In February [[2005]], Cartoon Network held a contest inviting viewers to make a '''commercial''' for the ''[[Wikipedia:Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law|Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law]] Vol. 1'' DVD set (or ''[[Speech impediment|Harvey Dirdban]]'', as Chris seems to pronounce it). Always willing to earn fame and fortune with minimal effort, [[Christian]] stepped up and produced an advertisement promoting:

* Himself
* His eternal rivalry with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]
* [[Sonichu]]
* <span style="font-size: xx-small;">...Harvey Birdman</span>

The terms "Christian Weston Chandler" and "brevity" do not go hand in hand, but due to the contest rules specifying 28-30 second entries, Chris delivers his pitch at a manic pace rather than omitting anything from his agenda. One can only imagine the seventeen-minute ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' presentation Chris would have delivered, had he been allowed.

Chris did not win the contest, or even place in the top five. This inspired him to post a complaint on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim forums]] (to be precise, he posted the same complaint twice), but, for some reason, Chris's idea of justice was never served.

The commercial appears in somewhat poor quality on Chris's [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|DVD]], but he also uploaded a better version of the same footage to his original [[YouTube]] account some time prior to October 31, [[2007]].

==Appearance==

Chris's weight has fluctuated wildly, and during this period in his life he actually wasn't that [[fat]]. Not as fat as now, anyway. Also, if Chris were to record this today, he would almost certainly tear off his [[glasses]] for maximum effect.

==Chris's entry==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Harvey Birdman Commercial
| video = {{#ev:youtube|l_b7S4i99JI}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2005]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}; Contest
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Live_performance|So Need a Cute Girl]]
| next = [[Pixelated_PS3#Video|Pixelated PS3]]
}}
=== Transcript ===

HELLO! I hired Harvey [[Speech Impediment|Dirdban]], Attorney at Law, to help ME, Christian Weston Chandler, in my case against Mary Lee Walsh, who, years ago, shattered my heart. And he has won the case for me, and he has won for me... a Harvey Birdman two-disc DVD box set which comes out April 12, 2005!

Features deleted scenes! Live-action open! Casting what-ifs and [[Wikipedia:Stephen Colbert|Stephen Colbert]] ''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Miyamoto|incorrectly pronounced]] "Cole-burt"]'' and [[Wikipedia:Todd Barry|Todd Barry]] as Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law! Harvey Birdman movie! "Shaggy Busted" pencil tests! And episode commentary!

Let Harvey Birdman work for you!

[''rapidly displays two custom cards depicting himself and [[Sonichu]]'']

[[Chris and his Ego|This has been a Christian Chandler/Sonichu production]].

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[So Need a Cute Girl]]|nextlink=[[Pixelated PS3]]|}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 2005-02-24]]

Family Guy

2011-02-23T03:49:19Z

PowerThrills:

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|Chris's favorite ''Family Guy'' character, [[Pedofork|Herbert]]. ''Get your fat ass back here!'']]

'''''Family Guy''''' is an animated sitcom known for basing most of its jokes around pop-cultural references, which is interesting considering [[Chris]] rips it off so much in his comics.

The series is also the inspiration for Chris's infamous ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|"skitch"]] that appeared in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and contained the one-off appearance of his character [[Sammy]], a creation that was a mix between Chris and [[Wikipedia:Peter Griffin|Peter Griffin]]. Chris had hoped that the creator of ''Family Guy'', [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]], could possibly use his sketch in a future episode, but he unfortunately didn't realize MacFarlane is quite capable of making unfunny, plagiarized, boring shit on his own.

==Influence on Chris==
[[Image:Meg 08-10-2009.jpg|thumb|Chris's declaration of intention regarding [[Megan Schroeder|Meg]].]]
Chris has variously expressed fanaticism for the series and watches it regularly. It can be inferred from this that the show's frequent use of [[random-access humor|non-sequitur, referential humor]] has bolstered Chris's belief that reproducing (or at least deriving) themes, motifs and characters from other works makes for legitimate, original art and has influenced his muddled understanding of [[parody]].

Also significant is his [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|citing of ''Family Guy'']] as material that endorses [[homos|homophobia]], having completely misinterpreted what was a not-so-subtle jab at the prejudice in an episode. As the series often deals with issues of bigotry and other social taboos in a manner which to most would constitute unsubtle, perhaps even ham-fisted, irony, the question is raised as to what other messages from the show Chris takes at face value.

One of the best examples of Chris's misunderstandings of the show is Chris's referencing of a scene in which [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin|Stewie]] quotes [[Wikipedia:the Bible|the Bible]] to prove that [[Wikipedia:gay marriage|Gay marriage]] is wrong, the joke being that Stewie himself is ambiguously [[Homos|gay]], making his quoting of the Bible hypocritical. This joke obviously soared over Chris's head, and even now, Chris references that scene to prove that being gay is wrong. What's even more ridiculous is the fact that Chris seems to have not heard of any specific parts of the Bible that condemn homosexuality, despite being a supposedly devout Christian his entire life, until it was spelled out in an animated comedy series.

It is notable that [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]] holds almost the complete opposite beliefs to Chris — he is [[Wikipedia:Liberalism (United States)|liberal]], [[Wikipedia:Atheism|atheist]], supports gay marriage, believes in gay rights, and has hinted at drug use. The irony is nearly painful. [[Jack Thaddeus]] once purchased ad space on [[CWCipedia]] to display an ad banner announcing MacFarlane's support for gay rights; Chris was mortally offended and demanded the ad's removal.
{{quote|"Why is it that Johnny Spaghetti Stain in fucking Georgia can knock a woman up, legally be married to her, and then beat the shit out of her, but these two intelligent, sophisticated writers who have been together for 20 years can't get married?"|Seth MacFarlane, supporting gay rights }}
Chris lifts lines and phrases from the show in conversation, perhaps unconsciously. He's been heard spouting the wacky phrase, "In da eaaaaggghh!", probably referring to an episode where Meg and her boyfriend take an abstinence pledge, and are discovered by Lois having ear sex.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Prick Up Your Ears]]</ref> When he's angry — in the [[Father Call]], in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], in the e-mail that accompanied the [[sports bra photo series]] — Chris often declares that a person or situation "grinds his gears," which was Peter Griffin's stock saying in [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|''Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story'']].

==Similarities with ''Family Guy''==
[[Image:Peter Weston Griffen.JPG|thumb|The impostor!]]

While very likely unintentional, since it is highly doubtful that Seth MacFarlane knows of Chris's existence, there are a few instances of similarity from Chris's work with ''Family Guy''.

The first few minutes of "[[Wikipedia:Road to Germany|Road to Germany]]", when Mort Goldman looks desperately for a bathroom, only to accidentally go into Stewie's new time machine, is strikingly similar to the ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' skitch.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchuComic8P5.htm ''Ghostbusters'' "skitch"]</ref>

Likewise, many trolls noticed how uncanny Peter Griffin in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Three Kings (Family Guy)|Three Kings]]" was wearing a shirt very similar to one of Chris's [[Chris and fashion|trademark shirts]]. However, the shirt was originally featured in the [[1986]] film, [[Wikipedia:Stand by Me (film)|''Stand by Me'']], on which this segment of "Three Kings" was based.<ref>[http://www.breakfastclubquotes.com/images/StandByMe1.jpg TCM advert for ''Stand by Me'']</ref>

In the episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Goy|Family Goy]]", Peter falls in love with a cardboard cutout of [[Kimmi|Kathy Ireland]] and later [[Sex tape|has sex with said cutout]].

Another episode features a plot centered around the characters making a conscious effort to treat Meg better (a point of contention Chris has always had with the series). This seems mostly coincidence, except for a sequence where Peter performs as a male stripper dressed like a police officer. His stripper name? ... "[[Officer Nasty]]".

==Controversy==
A majority of the show is based off its shock appeal, and has sparked several debates with parental groups over TV. Despite claiming to be a "family man", Chris believes that it is okay, even ''beneficial'', for parents to show their children ''Family Guy'' at extremely young and impressionable ages. But only under parental supervision! This is despite the show's notoriety for its onslaught of sex jokes, violence, and language. The jokes would fly right over any kid's head, yet Chris believes that kids would find the show so hilarious that they'd even quote it. Most kids would find the show uninteresting, if only for the fact that they wouldn't get ''any'' of the jokes, most of which are lewd.

==Chris and Meg==
{{Quote|Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode (I hope she has turned Eighteen by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story).|Chris, on what makes a story [[China|really good]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy Cwcipedia page on ''Family Guy'']</ref>}}[[Image:Chris&Meg.jpg|thumb|The depths of Chris's mind. Notice that Meg is the dominant one.]]

[[Image:ChrisChanfamilyguy.jpg|thumb|Chris's welcome page as of 9 October 2009.]]

Chris has a crush on [[Meg Griffin]] (a cartoon character, for those keeping track at home). However, what Chris doesn't seem to understand is that a good portion of the show's "humor" is intended to come at the expense of Meg Griffin. She is mostly portrayed as fat, unlikeable and ugly (sound familiar?) and given very few lines in episodes. Despite her portrayal, Chris has developed feelings for her, perhaps finding a kindred spirit in another person whose only use seems to be to entertain the masses by being constantly mistreated by the world at large (that or her name just reminds him of [[Megan Schroeder|someone...]]). Although she is [[pedofork|underage]], Chris has sought porn of her, going so far as to assimilate it into his comics (see [[:Image:Chrischantraced2.jpg|here]]).

On 8 [[October 2009]], he commented on a [[YouTube]] clip from the episode "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]" depicting a hot alternate-universe Meg, lamenting that if only MacFarlane let Meg turn eighteen that CWC would "be all over her sweet pussy and breasts."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDy-LEpQapQ</ref>

It is unknown what his opinion of Meg is following all the "nasty-ass" sex she had with the [[niggo]] Jerome in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Jerome Is the New Black|Jerome Is the New Black]]".

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris went and inserted Meg into the comic, [[Chris and his ego|having her compliment Chris on the comic]]. In turn, Chris defends Meg's "honor" by beating up a guy who insults the two of them. He then kisses Meg, cheating on his future wife [[Lovely Weather]]. Ironically, if Meg likes Chris, this means the rest of the Griffin family hates him. However, he revealed this to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, though to what purpose remains to be seen.

==Chris's message to Seth MacFarlane==
On 5 [[June 2009]], [[The Miscreants]] special ops agent [[Bryan Bash]] hacked into Chris's YouTube account and found a message Chris sent to ''Family Guy'' creator Seth MacFarlane via his YouTube account.

{{quotebox|Hello Seth,

I am a long-time Family Guy Fan. I have purchased the Blu-Ray of [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy|your Calvacade]]; I enjoyed all but the homosexual and dick jokes (I detest the [[homos]] very strongly). For your next bunch of 50 or so videos, please do more breast and vagina jokes.

Also, in Family Guy, PLEASE give [[Meg Griffin|Megan]] more respect, because she IS VERY BEATIFUL in my perspective, and she truly deserves MORE Positive attention and less abuse. Give her an irreversable Love Potion or something yo give her the attention that she deserves for MULTIPLE SEASONS and MULTIPLE CONSISTANT episodes.

We LOVE Megan Marie Griffin.

Peace,

Christian Weston Chandler, creator of Sonichu and Rosechu at http://www.cwcville.com}}

==''American Dad!''==
''[[Wikipedia:American Dad!|American Dad!]]'' is another MacFarlane series, again based around a single family. Chris stated on the [[CWCipedia]] that "There should be More Stories starring Haley.": [[Wikipedia:Hayley Smith (American Dad!)|Hayley Smith]] is the left-wing daughter of main character [[Wikipedia:Stan Smith (American Dad!)|Stan Smith]]. Doubtless Chris wanted more Hayley stories, not due to his love of equality or the Democrats, but because he thought she was sexy.

==''The Cleveland Show''==
27 [[September 2009]] saw the debut of [[wikipedia:The Cleveland Show|''The Cleveland Show'']], a ''Family Guy'' spin-off that answered the question, "What would happen if we took a fairly bland supporting character on ''Family Guy'' and gave him his own show?" Naturally, it sounded like a solid gold idea to Chris, as he plugged the show heavily on one of his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|Captain's Logs]]. The eager endorsement of the show by an [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|odorous]], [[muscle bra|bra]]-wearing [[The Creepy Stare|creepy-ass]] manchild is certainly much appreciated by the Fox Network.

It would seem Chris may have been too hasty in his initial endorsement of the show. In a [[CWCipedia]] update on 11 [[December 2009]], after making several idiotic points about ''Family Guy'', his analysis of ''The Cleveland Show'' consisted simply of, "I do not care for all the dick jokes." This didn't stop him from buying the show's first season through the [[PlayStation Network]], though.

In another eerie coincidence, a recent episode revolved around a sex doll named [[Kimmi]].

On 22 [[March 2010]], Chris broke [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|his vow never to use the Internet again]] after thirty-six hours to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|complain]] about changes in the show's voice acting. He would continue his whining in [[Some Favored Comedians|a video about his favorite comedians]] [[May 2010|two months later]].

In an [[100_2279|October 2010]] video, Chris held up a DVD box set of the first season of ''The Cleveland Show'' and performed a terrible rendition of the show's theme tune. He spent $30 on this set, much to Jackie's chagrin.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat VIII]]</ref>

==The Chrisode==
[[Image:126052012913.jpg|thumb|Leaked concept sketches made by [[Trolls|Seth MacFarlane]] himself.]]
On [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|9 December 2009]] Chris said that he'd heard rumors that Seth MacFarlane was planning on including him in a future ''Family Guy'' episode. This obviously fake news inflated [[Chris and his Ego|Chris's ego]] to [[Giant Penis Comic|gigantic proportions]], to the point where he felt the need to pitch an idea for the plot. Below is the plot he posted on the CWCipedia.

{{quotebox|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have described the story in a nutshell in my [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|recent video]]. But to reiterate (the final story will be typed up then copied/pasted onto this page), The show opens on Megan going onto the [[Cwcipedia]] on her computer in her room, reading the latest page uploaded and enjoying it. Later, she sends a message for the [[Mailbag]], asking if I could come to Quahog for their upcoming Comic Book Convention to show off my work. I respond, "[[Rape|I just may, Meg]]. ;)" Then I later drive up to Quahog in [[Son-Chu|my car]] (debatable on the destination being the Comic Con or the Griffin House), either way, the Griffins greet and welcome me. Then I break out [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|my two]] [[S-Chu Ball]]s, toss them and release [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]; more greetings. Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode ([[pedofork|I hope she has turned Eighteen]] by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story). For the [[Wikipedia:Subplot|"B" Story]], Brian gets a bit [[autism|antsy]] around the [[Sonichu_0#Episode_2:_.22Genesis_of_the_Lovehogs.22|Lovehogs]]' cuddlings, and he just could not help but ask them about how they maintain their relationship. And Sonichu and Rosechu tell Brian and help him find himself a new good girlfriend. **Suggestion to Seth, Let's Add a Smart, [[Patti-Chan|Sweet Girl Dog]] for Brian (Yes, SHE TALKS), as for breed, [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|I think any sexy breed]] (not a poodle; nothing against poodles, but I feel that a poodle might not work well for Brian).}}

At no point does Chris suggest anything that could possibly lead into a joke. Even if you don't like the show, you've got to admit that it's funnier than what he suggests.

==Chris's criticisms==
Although Chris loves ''Family Guy'', he has several ideas that he's certain would make the show much, much better. Most of his suggestions revolve around his infantile fears of [[homos|homosexuality]] and his sad ability to fall desperately in love with [[Julie|fictional women]]. Also: subtle hints of [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|bestiality]].

{{quotebox|Family Guy
-Megan does not deserve the abuse she gets. She is a Beautiful Girl, she is Very Smart, and she is the Oldest of the three children. So, Why.T.F. does Seth let most everyone treat her terribly? What is it about her that everyone is seeing to instinctively wail on her by default? WHAT and WHY?!

-Stewie should have let that tower fall on him; at least in the future scenario there, he Ended Up Straight.

-Chris finally got the best girlfriend he could ask for at the end of Season 6, Anna, so what happened to her between then and when Connie dated him in Season 7?

-While I can see Brain looking for the womanly qualities that he finds in the women he's dated, why does he not date female talking dogs who are That Pretty, Smart and all that?

-In "Road to Multiverse", in the "Robot Chicken" Universe, Stewie asks Seth Greene through Chris, "How does it feel to be on a Major Network for 30 Seconds?" Upon watching the video file on my PS3, the time in that universe was Only 20 Seconds Total, and there were NO additional portions of that scene in the version later shown on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. Seth McFarline owes Seth Greene 10 Seconds and then some.

American Dad
-There should be More Stories starring Haley.

The Cleveland Show
-I do not care for all the dick jokes. }}

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}

* [[Sammy]] - Chris's bastard love child creation of him combined with Peter Griffin.
* ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''
* ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]''
* ''[[South Park]]''

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Family Guy|''Family Guy'']] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Pixelated PS3

2011-02-14T00:15:12Z

PowerThrills:

The '''Pixelated PS3''' is a Frankenstein-esque abomination that combines a slimline PS2 with a casing made of randomly-colored (apparently ''black'' is a rare and coveted color) Lego and [[Pixelblocks]], which [[Chris]] submitted to [[Wikipedia:Robot Chicken|''Robot Chicken'']]'s "What would you do for a [[PS3]]?" contest. The Pixelated PS3 was shown to still exist by [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|29 September 2009]].

Luckily for Chris, he didn't overheat and destroy his PSTwo by entombing it in so much plastic shit.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Pixelated PS3
| image = {{#ev:youtube|OaKoGBFJCsA}}
| Stardate = 28 [[November 2006]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Television|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| Shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| Other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Harvey_Birdman_Commercial#Chris.27_entry|Harvey Birdman Commercial]]
| next = [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE#Watch|Christian Weston Chandler's <br> FUTURE MESSAGE]]}}

{{quote|I'd throw away the cure for autism… ''if I had it!''}}

===Transcript===
Hello. My name is Christian Weston Chandler, from [[Ruckersville, Virginia]].

[''sings to the tune of the Klondike Bar jingle''] “What would you do for a [[PS3]]?”

What I would do for a PS3? ''I'' tell ya what I'd do!

''Well'', if I had the [[monthly tugboat | money]], I'd wait in line! Like all the other people did with their ''tents'' and all that good stuff.

I'd throw away the cure for [[autism]]… ''if I had it!'' 'Cause I wanna get rid of that dog—doggone, long—life-long curse that I've had.

And, uh… oh, yeah! I would trade in my… PS2 for another thing!

Or, uh, otherwise, um… I'd make one from ''wood'' [[Duck|if it was hard enough!]]

But you know what ''I'' did? ''I'' did it!

[''reaches down and picks up fake PS3'']

I made it—made one from Legos and [''voice cracks with excitement''] ''Pixelblocks!''

And—believe it or not… I actually play ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on this thing!

[''reaches towards the camera to turn-off recording'']

[''switches to a deep voice and Scottish accent''] ''Thunderhorse!''

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:0783-LegoPS3AndGuitar.JPG
Image:0784-LegoPS3-1.JPG
Image:0785-LegoPS3-2.JPG
</gallery>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]|nextlink=[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]|}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 2006-11-28]]