CWCki - User contributions [en]

26 December 2014

2015-01-31T05:31:18Z

Psycatalyst: /* Screenshots */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|On the way to Sears, I peeked into the [[GameStop]], and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their [[Nintendo|Wii U]] Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this [[JERKS|MALE]] Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, [[List of places that have banned Chris|"YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW."]] But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and [[Autism|mentally overloaded]], I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few [[Chris and anger|Peaceful]] [[Chris and negotiation|solutions]], but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.|Chris's [[Chris and reality|summary of the events]].}}
{{clear}}
[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|A [[wikipedia:Orange Is the New Black|hit new]] [[Netflix]] show [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|rocking]] the [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

'''26 December 2014''' was probably the busiest day in [[Chris]]'s life since he [[Graduation|graduated]], and is essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again. Chris is [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]] once again for [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] [[The GAMe PLACe|at a video game store]]. This time, though, it doesn't look like he'll get off the hook so easily.

==Synopsis==
===In GameStop===

[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris, 6 seconds before the assault.]]

Chris's trouble with the law was first brought to the attention of the internet when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded a video of Chris spraying a [[GameStop]] [[Manajerks|employee]] with something, later confirmed to be pepper spray, on 26 December<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip (which can be viewed below) Chris, clad in full [[Tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by breaking three separate laws in one visit to his local GameStop.

Chris, who was already banned from GameStop, went to the outlet at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]] with the intention of [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalizing their ''Sonic Boom'' merchandise]] (staff claimed he'd done this before, which is probably why he was banned in the first place) wearing a pair of [[Chris and fashion|purple sunglasses intended for little girls]] as a "[[Honor roll|disguise]]". Needless to say, he was immediately recognized by staff, who tried to get him to leave. Chris moaned to them about [[Autism|"letting bygones be bygones", so he could vandalize the store's property in peace]]. It's unclear whether Chris managed to do any damage to the ''Sonic Boom'' games before leaving, but he eventually strode out, as seen in the video, commanding the staff "[[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]" as if he deserved to be [[Barbara Chandler|shielded from the consequences of his actions]]. It was as he left that he (with no provocation) pepper-sprayed the unfortunate employee (who was later confirmed to be unharmed), and the store did not close.

The clip of Chris has became a minor viral hit, earning over 100,000 views as of 5 January 2015. It is now one of the most-viewed videos in the CWChronology, next to [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|the 1993 contest video]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]], [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|CWC-Tok]], the [[FUTURE MESSAGE]], and [[Madman Rising]].

===monozettai's Account===
After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weening|weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say about the incident:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

===After GameStop===
Most of the sketchy information on what happened in the next hour or so comes exclusively from leaked, low-quality audio from a police scanner, and most details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris had some sort of encounter with a man in his car in the parking lot (speculated to be an attempted carjacking, or Chris trying to get in the wrong car in a moment of blind panic), who also notified the police. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking JCPenney and Sears, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police also managed to contact Barbara, who had been eating at the mall with Chris, and had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car (this also marks one of the few times Barb found out what was going on before the trolls did). Clearly, the police didn't catch Chris at the mall, so it is unknown when and where he was caught, but it was most likely the same day. For more details, observers were forced to await Chris's inevitable account on Facebook when he was released on bond, although little else was gleaned from his incoherent rambling (which can be read below), except him meeting the expectation that [[Sub-episodes|he'd twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist]] so he could get sympathy out of his [[white knights]].

[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]

On 28 December, a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. Assuming Chris was caught on the day he committed his crimes, he had been in jail for two days by this point.

After his video hearing on 29 December (which only consisted of the judge setting bail/bond conditions and a date for the full hearing), Chris was released on a bond and promptly took to Facebook to decry this injustice and counter troll speculation, the result of which can be seen below. The following month he revealed in a Facebook post that, in yet another development mirroring 28 October 2011, the judge placed a restraining order on Chris as part of his bail conditions, forbidding him from setting foot in any local GameStop or contacting any of the company's employees. His hearing will take place in February.

===Aftermath===
A followup call from a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of 28 October 2011. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing severe legal penalties, as his crime was technically malicious assault, as well as the laws he broke by not only refusing to leave a premise he was banned from but quite possibly also vandalism of their merchandise. That's without factoring in whatever he got up to in JCPenney, Sears or the parking lot.

Whatever he's charged with, Chris is unlikely to receive a lenient sentence this time for a number of reasons. First, he's a repeat offender, which won't look good to the judge. Second, he and his mother are already in [[Chris and money|deep shit financially]], having squandered their inheritance from [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the incident in 2011, so Chris getting a good representative is out of the question. Chris also cannot bank on his victim asking the court to downgrade the crime from a felony to a misdemeanor, as Michael Snyder did after the 28 October 2011 incident.

[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's mugshot. Note that killer pout, and lazy eye.]]

With estimates for Chris's sentence ranging from minor community service to 5 years in prison, everything's up in the air at the moment. There have also been suggestions he may lose his [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]], perhaps [[14 Branchland Court|his home]], or maybe even become a ward of the state. Considering his very unsound mental state, it is very possible that he will be forced to receive therapy (rather than an evaluation simply to see whether he was a threat to society, like in 2011), something many are [[Chris and psychology|hoping for]].

Consensus among his observers is that the time has come to stop giving Chris leniency. So far, every time he has had to face the consequences of his own actions, he has been let off quite easily. Examples include his parents rushing to his defense (even awakening in the middle of the night to blast trolls on the phone) whenever his actions land him into trouble with anyone, Snyder magnanimously deciding to drop felony charges for Chris after 28 October 2011, and the CWCki Forums, of all people, putting together a care package for him after [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the house fire]]. Moreover, for the duration of [[2014]], Chris's white knights have consistently coddled him, humored his foolish mercantile ventures and fed his already-gigantic ego, and not a single white knight spoke harshly to him, even while condemning his actions, when he got home ''from prison''. This would all be well and good if Chris could recognize that he should be grateful for his narrow escapes, and take measures to avoid landing in situations like this in the first place. However, since Chris is incapable of introspection, it has instead simply gotten to the point that he [[Chris and his Ego|just expects to be bailed out, or otherwise rescued from the consequences of his own actions]].

On 29 December, it was confirmed that Chris had posted the $2500 bail and left jail. Barb was probably the donor, once again abluting Chris of consequences.

On 3 [[January 2015]], an e-mail leaked onto the [[CWCki Forums]] revealed that Chris had behaved in a bellicose manner at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and threatened to use his mace. This was soon afterwards confirmed to be true by Chris himself, and indicated that he wielded the pepper spray because it made him feel like a "badass". This statement worried many onlookers, as it suggests Chris perceives himself as invincible as long he can threaten to mace his antagonists. Chris's notion of his own infallibility and invulnerability has previously been generally confined to the comics, but owing to the ever-growing chasm separating him from reality it may have seeped into his conscious psyche.

All things considered, it's doubtful that Chris will learn anything whatsoever from his impending punishment, however harsh it may be. It will more likely simply resuscitate [[Chris and anger|his old grudge against]] [[Jerkop|police officers]] and [[Manajerks|retail workers]], which in turn will distort his perspective on the real world even further.

== Chris's side of the story ==

{{quote|I WAS the Victim|Chris, meeting everyone's expectations}}

As with the 28 October 2011 incident, Chris just couldn't help but give his own self-serving account of events. Not surprisingly, Chris refuses to admit any fault in the incident - aside from claiming ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, a claim he immediately disproves by admitting that he sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident - and tries to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[trolls|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see, meaning he's in deep shit if the prosecution sees his (publicly accessible) Facebook. Even his white knights, if not too harsh, seem condemnatory of his actions. It seems that this time around, everyone is against him.

In this illuminating tract, Chris rambles on and on, continually shooting himself in the foot by providing extremely damning information. He proves the above point that he expects to go unpunished for everything by saying he had expected GameStop to ''ignore the fact that he had attacked one of their employees''. Apparently he thinks they should be grateful he didn't stop to mace everyone in sight. He tries to portray himself as the victim, implying that a group of professional game designers who barely know an iota of him were directly responsible for ''his'' actions.

Moreover, the revelation that he was aware of the effects of his weapon of choice, added to the circumstances, seem to show that him pepper-spraying the employee wasn't Chris misinterpreting pepper-spraying as a feminine display of contempt. Consider that the man he targeted was by the door, rather than further inside, and was not advancing towards or threatening Chris in any way. This indicates that this was a deliberate, cowardly act of malice on Chris's part, as he deliberately sprayed the last employee on the way out, when his escape was already assured.

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]]

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their metal cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and mentally overloaded, I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

== Chris's side of the story 2: Electric Boogaloo ==

On, January 11th, Chris posted the following to his [[Facebook]] account, in which he once again paints himself as the victim and wishes that people could like him, even barring all of his other actions from the past. He also says that ''nobody should be banned from a store unless they are carrying a gun''.

{{quotebox|Just Listen; Do Not Comment or Respond; I am being Very Serious.
I Really Wish People would Positively Like Me. I can not make people like me, and if they dislike me, for their own individual reasons beyond my own comprehension.

I can not change their minds. But, to my utmost dismay and sadness, should I be threatened, or be made to feel threatened, I Will defend myself to force some respect from them.
All I would ever want is a good day and some peace of my own mind; I do not intend, nor have ever intended, unprovoked, to offend anyone.
And if my good day is turned bad, because of me feeling threatened by anyone, and then I feel those individuals immediately deserve to have a bad day themselves (and continue living on from there),
then it is Their Fault for pushing me into the defensive position in the first place.
It really does make me feel sad and most disappointed of the other people when they give me such grief to the point that I have to be put into a position to force some respect out of them.

And I have been growing more paranoid of Other People since November of 2007 with the damn bad people over the internet,
as well as those I have had the displeasure to have encountered in person who have shown me nothing but a difficult time and even more grief.

Also, I sincerely believe nothing would ever be gained from killing anyone, including myself; all that does is forces one or the other into their next realm or life;
Nobody really Learns or really Benefits anything from the deaths of any person. That is why I would never own, or want to own, a real gun.
"Look out, she's going for her mace!"
"What? Would you rather I have a gun with bullets in it?"

And that is another thing everyone Should be Aware of: I AM A FEMALE SOUL, and I Prefer to be referred to by the Female Pronouns. Any address of "Sir", or "Man" upon me, will only be met by a cold shoulder or stare in their general direction.

And NOBODY should ever be BANNED from a high-volume store like Wal-Mart or Target for anything less offensive than a gun withdrawl or robbery. We All Have Bad Days, and unless we actually Hit a Person or living individual or similar actions, in how we individually react to how we are feeling at the ONE Moment, aside from the other Individual Moments, To Ban an individual is just plain wrong.

And acts of protests with JUST Meanings, do not deserve any damn grief either.

Just Let Me Live On In Peace, Let Me enjoy my Good Day and Pleasant Shoppings and Outings, and DO NOT BOTHER ME AT ALL. I have No Intention Whatsoever to harm Any Individual Person or Myself. So, Please, Do Not Give Me Reason to be Forced to Defend Myself to garner any respect. All that does is give us all a Bad Day from a Good One.

Good Day. }}

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:ChrisGameStopShort.png|The listing of his court hearing.
File:ChrisGameStopFull.png|The full details.
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png|Chris's violently insane version of the incident.
File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|Chris's distinctly [[Tomgirl Saga|unfeminine]] mugshot.
File:PROTESTING_SANIC_BUM.jpg|The defacement Chris intended to wreak.
File:Goofytime PTSD Employ2.jpg|Retail employees will now have Chris haunting their nightmares.
File:Tomgrrllyfe.jpg|Chris after life on the inside.
File:Chris-chan as the Pepper Spray Cop.jpg|Don't call anybody!
</gallery>

== Video ==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = GameStop Assault
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Sweatshirt
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next =
}}
=== Transcript ===
[''A beep, most likely from the checkout machine, is heard as Chris walks near the camera. He blows a raspberry, presumably at monozettai, for a nanosecond as he passes the camera'']

'''Chris''': Don't call anybody!

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, and a family at the counter can be seen in shock at the creepy man they just witnessed.'']

'''Employee 1''': [''to customer at register''] 22-10. [''laughs'']

[''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with pepper spray, who quickly backs up in self-defense.'']

'''Employee 2''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== Police Scanner Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Police scanner
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pk-Oa8BinxE}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===Transcript===
{{Transcription}}
{{Incomplete}}
[''The entire audio is messy, grainy and hard to hear. If there are any inaccuracies in the audio, please feel free to help.'']

'''0:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven, APC--[''mumbling?'']

'''Rookie:''' I'll cover it.

'''Cool cop:''' Stay there.

'''Old cop:''' He's at Fashion Square Mall. I'll get him. He's not in Shoppers World. I'm probably gonna pull up in the community and park the car. ''(CUTS OUT)'' and then...I'll go...check the car. He is described as a ''([[Stress sigh|sighs]])'' white male, 5-foot 9, with long brown hair. He was wearing two sets of glasses and [[Plush Breasts|fake breasts]]. ''(Someone in the background says "what the hell?")'' The name is supposed to be "Christopher Chandler".

'''1:00'''

'''Rural cop:''' I'll go and do it. I'm on location.

'''?:''' Okay.

'''?:''' Doin' okay.

'''?:''' Thank you, Ethan.

'''?:''' No problem.

'''?:''' Uhh... I'm ''???????'' I'll be in that ''?????'' for a little bit. Three-nine can just run it.

'''?:''' Fine, Arthur. Three-nine, you got... Yeah. He can just route a call from our phone. Okay.

'''?:''' Uh, have you sent out that thing from here, ''?????'' Thirty-nine can just draw it.

'''?:''' Uh, ''????'' and ''?????''

'''?:''' Roger.

'''2:00'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''2:26'''

'''Mike:''' ''?????''

'''Woman:''' Thank you, Mike.

'''2:32'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''3:23'''

'''?:''' Seven-six APC.

'''?:''' Copy, seven-six.

'''Rural cop:''' Someone here at the mall with ''???'' Chandler. A long time here. Trespass. Banned from the mall.

'''?:''' ''????'' uh, you got ''??????''

'''4:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven.

'''Rookie:''' Copy.

'''?:''' Uh, ''?????''

'''Rookie:''' That's correct.

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven. ''(PAUSE) ?????'' seven-six

'''4:45'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''5:14'''

'''Ethan:''' ''???'' before seven APC

'''?:''' ''?????''

'''Ethan:''' Could I have the report number please?

'''?:''' Ethan, your number's 10725. Ten seven two five. ''(PAUSE) careful??????''

'''Ethan:''' ''????'' three units.

'''?:''' Sir, can you get me the report number ''????????''

'''?:''' ''?????'', you have, uh, 10726. Ten seven two six.

'''6:09'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''7:00'''

'''?:''' APC ''?????''

'''Woman:''' ''?????''

'''Old cop:''' ''?????'' car ''???????????????'' in the area ''????'' might have come from a house ''?????'' I'll check the ''book????''

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of Chris' Facebook Post
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1mNy4oamILA}}
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7EpM9PXIn3bTIlJYiP1xWg BrendanielReads]
| stardate = 29 [[December 2014]]}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Fought the Law
| video = {{#ev:youtube|M2cKgb9xU2o}}
| stardate = 30 [[December 2014]]
| maker = FavoretFox
| subject = 26 December 2014
| type = [[Parody]] of The Crickets' "I Fought the Law"}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tyrone Declares Chris Chan's Innocence
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0A2p_OgkZw0}}
| stardate = 17 [[January 2015]]
| maker = Based Tyrone
| subject = 26 December 2014}}

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]
* [[28 October 2011]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

Warning - Naughty Women ;)

2015-01-31T05:28:14Z

Psycatalyst:

{{Honest}}
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]
[[Image:CWCRockin4Gay.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual..."]]

'''Warning - Naughty Women ;)''' (officially '''10102009 Warning - Naughty Women. ;)''') is a video in which [[Chris]] tries to use [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], a drawing of himself [[Fuck Quest|having sex]] with three female members of his [[Guitar Hero]] "rock band" as evidence against allegations that he's a [[homos|homosexual]]. He also specifically points out that one of them is [[Niggos|"half-and-half"]] to refute accusations of [[Racism|racism.]]

Of course, by trying to pass a drawing off as a photograph, all Chris really proves is that he lacks the ability to [[Chris and reality|distinguish fantasy from reality]] ''(either that, or that he's an outright idiot.)'' He also accuses trolls of being immature, while showing off a Rule 34 drawing he did of his virtual harem from a video game. Real mature, Chris.

==Video==

'''Official description:''' Warning - Naughty Women. ;)

{{Infobox/video
| name = Warning - Naughty Women ;)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|nR_udefSZt4}}
| stardate = 10 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Homos|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[9 October 2009]]
| next = [[Challenge for Clyde]]
}}

{{quote|Huh? Huh? Look at it! Look at it! I'm having sex with three women!}}

=== Transcript ===

Hmm, [[Captain's Log|Captain's Log]]. [[CWCki:DATING|The 10th of October 2009]].

Now. I would like to make it perfectly clear, but first I would like to state... THE update [''dramatic [[glasses]] removal''] that will be on the [[CWCipedia]] tomorrah-uh-duh-later tonight or tomorrow. A few more pages for the numb nine book. So, look forward to that [''short pause''] good viewers.

Now, for those who DARE continue to mislabel me as dang [[homos|''gaaaaay'']], homosexual, or bisexual, uggh... ''[shakes head]'' I'm straight. I. Am. Straight.

[''Chris approaches the [[camera]] by maneuvering around something off-screen, grabs the camera, and holds it close to his face'']

And I tell you what. If I was a s-homosexual or anything like that, would I not-would I be having sex...

[''angles camera down and shoves [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] fully into the frame, with strips of paper taped over the genitals and nipples, [[Manboobs|including Chris's]]'']

..with THREE WOMEN? Huh? Huh? Look at it! Look at it! [[Chris and reality|I'm having sex with three women]], and you know what? The one in the middle is [[niggos|half-and-half!]]

[''Chris points camera back at his enraged face'']

I am STRAIGHT. Get through your damn dirty immature skulls!

[''sets camera back down with a forceful thud, meanders back to where he was originally standing by awkwardly stepping over the object from earlier, takes a moment to set himself'']

Thank you very much [''flashes victory sign with fingers''] and have a good day.

[''bends down to the controller to halt recording'']

==Remix==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ZOpGtblij8Y }}
| stardate = 10 [[October 2009]]
| maker = AngusHiggens
| subject = {{Homos|text}}
| type = Remix
}}
== See also ==
*[[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], about the drawing itself.
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris and reality]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[9 October 2009]]|nextlink=[[Challenge for Clyde]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-09]]
[[Category:Certain videos of the naughty nature| 2009-10-09]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2009-10-09]]

Some Favored Comedians

2010-05-21T03:24:16Z

Psycatalyst: /* Transcript */

{{recent}}
[[Image:Chris gay trucker.jpg|thumb|right|Larry the Trucker Man]]
'''Some Favored Comedians''' (officially "'''Some Favored Comedians.MOV'''") is a 20 [[May 2010]] video where [[Chris]] bores his [[fanbase]] by discussing various comedians and Seth McFarlane. He reiterates his [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|dislike for the change in voice actors on The Cleveland Show]], does several terrible impersonations, and describes a scenario where Jerry Seinfeld meets him and does a stand up act about how [[Chris and ego|awesome]] it is to meet a [[Chris|retarded manchild]]. Chris seems to go out of his way to mention how much he doesn't [[racism|hate]] [[Chris and religion|Jews]] but gives no justification for his [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|recent actions]]. Chris mentions that Larry the Cable Guy should be called Larry the Trucker Man and then switches, in an ADD kind of way, to Peter Cullen's voice acting [[Optimus Prime]].

Despite Chris being a critical and avid fan of The Cleveland Show, he consistently refers to [[Wikipedia:Reagan Gomez|Reagan Gomez]] as "Regina", quite possibly an artifact of his [[Autism]] for which he blames almost all of his shortcomings, or confusion with [[Wikipedia:Regina King|Regina King]], who voices characters on ''The Boondocks''. He also repeatedly mispronounces Mila Kunis's name. Considering that she's the voice of his favorite Family Guy gal-pal, well, that comes as no surprise.
{{-}}

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Some Favored Comedians
| video = {{#ev:youtube|URLwUjuNJYM}}
| stardate = 20 [[May 2010]]
| subject = {{Rumours|text}}, {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt = {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[05142010]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcript==
Ah, [[Captain's Log]], May 22nd- [''flashes his school ring''] May 20th, 2010. I just uh, started up this video [''takes his glasses off''] to uh, give y'all a little update about myself [''puts glasses back on, coughs'']. You know, I'm doing well, so's my [[Barb|mom]], and for your information my [[Bob|father]] is alive and well so, that rumour is false. My father is alive and well.

Anyway uh, anyway with that I wanna talk about some of my favourite uh, comedy people. But uh, I'd like to start off with uh, prefacing with uh, prefrencing an old- a [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|past video of mine]], of which I have uh made the complaint about uh... [[Wikipedia:Reagan Gomez|Regina Gomez]] who plays [[Wikipedia:Nia Long|Nia Long]] on [[The Cleveland Show]]. I mean yeah that was definitely like a trade down in comparison. [''Chris turns to his TV''] Let's go to a clip of Nia Long.

[''Clip of The Cleveland Show plays - probably from [[Wikipedia:Da Doggone Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance|Da Doggone Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance]]'']

And then uh now, check out uh, Ragina Gomez in comparison.

[''Plays another clip from The Cleveland Show - probably from [[Wikipedia:Once Upon a Tyne in New York|Once Upon a Tyne in New York]]'']

You see a difference? Big difference. Regina is a whiny voiced little brat, whereas uh Nia... [''turns to TV''] was a lot better. And uh, [''turns to camera''] an another reference, that was like uh, when they changed the voice- they changed the voice actress for [''turns to TV''] [[Family_Guy#Chris_and_Meg|Megan Griffin]]. I mean, yeah here's the first voice. This is an improvement by the way.

[''Plays a clip from Family Guy'']

Yeah see well, this was a better change in comparison. You know, change it from... I forget her name... to [[Wikipedia:Mila Kunis|Mila Kunis]]. Whoops, I don't need that selected(?) [''mutters something'']. Here's Mila.

[''Plays a clip from Family Guy'']

Yeah big difference. Big difference between the uh, voice actresses you know. When they sw- they, did it from [[Wikipedia:Lacey Chabert|whoever she was]] to Mila Kunis, that was an improvement because, you know, maturing- the voice deepens naturally. Whereas The Cleveland Show switching from Ni- switching from Nia Long to Regina Gomez. That's a trade ''down'' [''gestures and points down'']. I mean I- I gotta tell you my opinion [''removes glasses'']. It must have been like uh, Seth McFarlane and uh, Mike Henry musta had uh, too many drinks or somethin' to decide to uh, switch from Nia to Regina. Or a- or I don't know whether it's um, it was their decision or what Nia had in her head when sh- uh, when she left the show for that point.

And I leave you all with that. Let's talk about uh, let's talk about famous comedy people. Uh, y'all know I like uh, I like from plastma classtics(?), [[Wikipedia:Lucille Ball|Lucille Ball]] [''High-pitched voice impression''] ''Hello, friends. I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl. Are you tired, run down, and listless? Do you [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|poop out]] at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin''. And uh, [[Homo|I also like]] [[Wikipedia:Red Skelton|Red Skelton]]. [''Dopey voice impression''][''unintelligible'']. [''chuckles a bit''] Very funny people. I also liked uh, [[Homo|I also liked]] [[Wikipedia:Dick Van Dyke|Dick Van Dyke]], [[Wikipedia:Mary Tyler Moore|Mary Tyler Moore]] and, [[Wikipedia:Bob Newhart|Bob Newhart]], there's another good one. I like those types of people, but from today's- from this generation, [[Homo|I like]] [[Wikipedia:Tim Allen|Tim Allen]]. He's a funny man. Yeah. [''Laughs''] I was just remember the uh, part where- the one where he ''Tim don't put your hand in the light socket *pfft*''. But seriously though, he does very good, he's a funny man.

[[Homo|I also like]] [[Wikipedia:Jerry Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]]. He- he's very funny. I watched his show every- I watch his show every day on TBS... And, you know, too bad- too bad it ended. He coulda done more shows but whatever. That was his call there. He decided that after nine seasons. [[Homo|I like Jerry Seinfeld]], he's a funny man. You know I would- you know I would definitely like to see this, you know, even as a video response from Jerry Himself, his view on autis- on autistic people. Especially the high functioning autistics like myself, you know.

[''Stares into space, makes a creepy smile'']

And also, think about this, I probably sound like Jerry Sein- I probably sound like Jerry Seinfeld, you know? This could be a comedy routine for himself, you know, that he could do for autistics.

[''Pantomimes holding a mic, attempts to impersonate Jerry Seinfeld'']

Ah yeah, so I just recently been [[Pedofork|introduced to this uh, autistic, uh, boy]]- this autistic teenage boy here. And uh, and we sai- you know, I was introduced, so he opened up to me right away. And then I- and then- later, like I- later at this picnic, this community picnic, he uh, I see him- I see him over there and he wants to find- he wants to [[Fuck quest|meet himself a lady]], so he's hanging out over there. And I don't see him talking to the ladies, he just uh, he's just uh, smiling and being silent. I mean, he ain't gonna go anywhere unless he talks to- unless he talks to the but then again that's part of the autism right there. He just tends to blank out when he's not introduced to people. Because he's scared of the unknown. That's very common among the autistic people. And I'll tell you something else. Today's society where everybody is glued to their computers and internet and all that, they're definitely closing themselves off from society. It's like they're becoming autistics themselves. I mean, if they're definitely not glued in front of their computer they're definitely about as blank as that au- that little teenage boy was.

[''Pantomimes releasing mic, stares into space for a few moments.'']

Eh, yeah, but anyway I would definitely like to hear Jerry Seinfeld's uh, opinions and views, or a comedy sketch about autistic people. 'Cuz I want to ask him about that. Oh yeah, also you know, another Jewish dude I like- that he strikes me as funny, [[Wikipedia:Brad Garrett|Brad Garrett]], you know, from ''Everybody Loves Raymond'', also doing the guy from ''’Til Death''. He actually also starred in an episode of ''Seinfeld'' I read, where he steals Jerry's car. Still that does- that seems kind of dumb, you know. I even read that he tried- he tried out for Kramer, I mean, I mean he definitely would not have been- I do not know if he would be a better Kramer, I mean [''Voice changes''] "What are you looking at crazy?" I dunno. Ha, I mean,
[''Waves arms around''] "Who-whoop-whoop PIA! Yeah. Hi Jer!" [''chuckles''] Yeah I think uh, Brad Garrison is a little bit more subtle, but [[Homo|I like him too]]. You know. And I have nothing against [[Jews|Jewish people]], I mean there's people too, and I got nothing against Jewish community. I mean they have their views and we have our views, Let's leave it at that. I mean they're all- they're all- they're people we're people, [''face contorts with racism''] no problem.

[[File:LarrySad.jpg|thumb|Larry the Cable Guy's likely reaction.]]
I know I sent [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|crossed signals]] about that at past points. Oh, hey, you know [[Homo|another dude I like?]] [''puts on a baseball cap''] Larry the Cable Guy. ''Git-R-Done!'' [''chuckles''] Funny dude, you know. He definitely could been- he definitely had the trucker look going for him if he uh, wasn't being the cable guy. Yeah I mean, I would definitely think that would have uh, the way he was dressed they would him "Larry the Trucker Man!" Trucker Man. [''chuckles''] Yeaah, pretty funny. [''takes off cap''] Oh and also you know, speaking of impressions uhh, here's [[Wikipedia:Peter Cullen|Peter Cullen]] [''Quotes some Optimus Prime lines from Transformers'']. That's spot on, dead on Peter Cullen right there. And I'm glad that, you know, aside from the generation one series, they let him do t- he volunte- he volunteered to do the voice of Optimus in the new movies, as well as in the video games. I mean all th- of all the generations between the Optimus Primes and the Optimus Primals, [''points at camera''] Peter Cullen ''is'' Optimus Prime. Of all time.

Anyway, that's uhh, just uh some of my opinions about some current and past comedians and uh, Seth! Mike! Bring back Nia Long! [''Puts glasses back on''] Anyway, I'll leave y'all with uh, that and those impressions. Until then- until another time when I have another thought or, whatever - have a good day. [''makes the peace sign''] Peace.
{{-}}

==References==
<references />

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[05142010]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2010-05-20]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Clyde Cash

2010-05-21T03:19:25Z

Psycatalyst: /* The torment begins */

[[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|The real Clyde Cash, [[Secret Weapon|according to Chris]].]]
[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|Artist's interpretation of the epic struggle.]]

{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}
{{quote|Then the dragon stood on the sand of the seashore. I saw a beast coming out of the sea. It had ten horns, seven heads, and ten royal crowns on its horns. On its heads were blasphemous names.|The Bible on Clyde Cash}}

'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' - that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three g's]]) ([[Wikipedia:Born on the Fourth of July|04 July]] [[Wikipedia:1976|1976]]) was the older brother of [[Ryan Cash]] who decided to take vengeance against Chris after his brother killed himself. He was the former leader of [[The Miscreants]]. His close friend is [[Bryan Bash]], he once employed [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]] (Jew variety) and his cousin is [[Vivian Gee]].

In Chris's revised [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Clyde is referred to as a '''Starscream troll'''. This is a reference to the [[Transformers]] character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow [[Megatron]] behind the scenes. Chris says this because Clyde Cash allegedly killed [[BlueSpike]].

==In the beginning==

For the longest time Clyde had no problems with Chris. Although he disapproved of some of the content, he was pleased to see the joy the franchise had brought his brother Ryan. Every night before bed Clyde would read Ryan the latest [[Sonichu]] adventure, until Ryan had dozed off to sleep (usually with the first three pages.)

This changed when Chris announced, in his usual knee-jerk fashion, that he was going to stop drawing Sonichu comics. Clyde tried comforting the upset Ryan to no avail. On the 24th of December Clyde entered Ryan's bedroom, intending to share a tray of freshly baked gingerbread men, only to find the lifeless form of his brother swinging from a light fixture. The dark silhouette of his body threw ghostly shadows across the room.

On the desk Clyde found a note - apparently the pain of not knowing whether Crystal would be released from the Dark Hole Mirror was too much for the young Ryan to bear. Clyde screamed but no sounds would come out. Collapsing to the floor, he swore undying revenge on Christian Weston Chandler.
{{clear}}

==The torment begins==
[[Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|thumb|Virginia no longer for virgins]]
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash and his buddy [[Jack Thaddeus]].]]
[[Image:Clydecashandannamclerran.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash steals moar womenz]]
Clyde's first act was to rape [[Panda]]<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]]. Then, he posed as Gregg Mays (a web designer working for [[Nintendo]]) to gain access to [[Sonichu.net]]. Holding the site for ransom, he told Chris to make a video proclaiming he was gay. He then told him to make a [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site. Striking again, Clyde worked with a [[troll]] and got rid of the domain. Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of Panda, Clyde managed to gain access again.

It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. Teaming up with [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]], they created the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

[[Julie]] set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[Trolls|true and honest Sonichu fans]]. Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating these chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of Julie. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a 13 year old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.

After that, he sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Jew friend]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The Jew turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated the church. He then stole Chris's one and only date, [[Emily]].

When [[Ivy]] came along, he decided to continually harass her and despite Chris making a few threats, Ivy eventually gave in and killed herself.

Oh, and Clyde also hacked into the [[PSN]] a few times. But then [[Jack Thaddeus]] did him one better...

And to think all this was done due to Chris not caring about one fan's tragic suicide.
{{clear}}

==In the comic==
[[Image:CWCsClyde.jpg|thumb|left|Clyde, left, with [[Ivy]]]]
In the [[comic]] Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a pickle gun and "slander ray."

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments]]

He made his first full appearance in [[Sonichu 10]] as the 4-cent_garbage building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns him and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When Beel escapes, he, too, condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6 story elevator shaft to their suicidal deaths.
{{Clear}}

== Currently ==
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|[[Homos|STRAIGHT]] ANGER]]
After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance. Chris is not very pleased.

When not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spends his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and Health|bulging muscles]].

[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|left|Clyde with [[The Wallflower]].]]

He had a picture to blackmail Clyde, but ultimately nothing came of it other than a series of videos where Chris tries to torture Clyde.<Ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]] and [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref> Clyde scoffed at the [[No More Jokes|final video]].

However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, makes clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.

In [[Don't Mess With Me|a recent video]], Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis, believing he was the reason why he lost "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a knife and slitting Clyde's throat as a warning to all trolls.
{{clear}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan Loves Clyde Cash
| video = {{#ev:youtube|73jIxs5yQLg}}
| Stardate = 17 April 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/CWCvillelulz CWCvillelulz]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = It's a love/hate relationship.
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan KILLED Clyde Cash (Never Before Seen Footage)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}
| Stardate = 7 June 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClydeCash TheClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Shit Was So Cash!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32XiZC2yG1Y}}
| Stardate = 25 April 2010
| Maker = Psycatalyst
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
*[[A CWC Audition]]
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]

==Sauces==
<references />
==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash Clyde's new YouTube account]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date conversations] (part with Clyde begins at about 4:35)
*[http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263141624839RA18 An International Tribute to Teh Graet Clyde Cash]

{{Clyde Saga}}
{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Anna McLerran

2010-05-21T03:15:16Z

Psycatalyst: Ca$hed

[[Image:Anamc.jpg|thumb|right|Never trust a Mormon troll]]

'''Anna McLerran''' (born 30 July [[1985]]<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref>) met [[Chris]] through her job at the Pac Sun in the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]].

Despite being one of Chris's few real-life "friends", Anna is widely disliked for her attention whoring and inability to live up to her promises regarding information about Chris.

Anna and Chris are no longer in contact.

==Pre-ED==

Chris was brought to the attention of Anna when, during the [[Love Quest]] era, Chris started harrassing the employees at the Pac Sun. This is what inspired her woeful short story [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]].

After publishing the story she "befriended" Chris and invited him to her birthday party (see below). Chris continued the romantic advances until Anna lied to Chris that she was a [[homo|Lesbian]], presumably because she thought this was a humourous way to rebuff his advances.

Chris's [[heart level]] was shattered once again, although he still believes she is a Lesbian and uses her to demonstrate that he is can be friends with homosexuals despite the fact they are no longer in contact.

She may, however, be ''the'' girl whose claim of lesbianism caused Chris to hate homosexuals.

==ED drama==

After Christian discovered the aforementioned story on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], Anna felt a need to defend Chris against the internet at large. In a textbook case of [[White knight|white knighting]], she edited Chris's ED page. Anna added a new section to the article, in an attempt to paint Chris as a [[Chris and Fashion|goofy clown]], rather than a [[Chris Loses It|perverse psychotic]]. {{quote|I wrote that blog back when I didn't know Chris personally. I got to know him soon after that, and we became real friends. He's a really nice guy, with a great sense of [[Random-access humor|humor]]. Yes, to the outsider he is quirky, and some of his actions and the things he says can be funny, but at the same time he cares deeply about his friends, and all the other good stuff nobody looking at this page wants to hear about. I just wanted to put that out there, though, since I obviously can't permanently delete the blog inclusion. I'll just have to wait until this whole website is shut down for good.|Note From Anniebannany<ref>http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=next&oldid=1997694799</ref>}} This passage was so masturbatory, it was assumed that it was written by Christian himself and it was credited as such. However, in [[December 2009]], Anna admitted to writing the article section herself<ref>http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6427862439</ref>. It is unknown why she had actually befriended him; whether or not it was to quietly troll him and laugh at his stories; or if it was genuine. Many people lean towards the former as she appears to have a bit of a sadistic streak. While she is well known to defend her friends to the bitter end, Christian included, she has a prejudice against the mentally handicapped (who doesn't?), implying that [[autistic]] people should be embarrassed for being, well, autistic.

{{quote|C-Chan continues to crack me up with his antics. I know he's straight, but LAWD. If that boy would just heed even a few of my warnings, I flatter myself to think he'd go far.|Anna (clearly delusional)<ref>http://annamclerran.blogspot.com/2009/01/el-dee-ess-bee-see.html</ref>}}

==Current events==
[[Image:Clydecashandannamclerran.jpg|thumb|left|Shit was [[Clyde Cash|SO CASH]]]]
She currently resides in Salt Lake City, Utah, far from Chris, working as a Shipping Manager for the Family First Foundation<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref> and going to LDS Business school trying to get some bullshit Executive Assistant degree.<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref>

Anna has attempted to break into the art world with a seldom-updated [[DeviantART]] account, though her interest (but not talent) lies in writing. Anna has announced plans to write a book encompassing the life and failure of Chris-chan. As with many of her claims, this is to be taken with a grain of salt.

On the night of 5 [[December 2009]], Anna complained about pampered socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Ritchie|Nicole Ritchie's]] having appropriated a classic picture of Christian in his mother's underwear to use against tiresome faux-punk guitarist, Benji Madden. Anna, self-appointed guardian of the Manchild, kicked up a stink, demanding that the picture be taken down, as if it could not be found elsewhere. According to Anna, "he's autistic and does whatever the internet tells him to do :(",<ref>http://twitpic.com/s7pfi</ref> ignoring the substantial amount of depravity that he commits without any outside encouragement. Anna went on to criticizing the CWCki, claiming that "[[Lie|there is very little truth to anything those websites say about him]]. trust me on this one. he is an awesome guy in real life. super nice."<ref>Ibid.</ref> This is all very amusing when you consider her reaction to seeing the picture: "WHAT THE FUCK hahahahahhahahahaaha he's getting so famous!!"<ref>[http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6377147359 Anna's Twitter]</ref>

==Criticism and backlash==

Anna is a polarizing figure for trolls. Despite her openness and apparent willingness to help, she is disliked by many [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] regulars, who accuse her of being an "attention whore" who promises information on Chris but never delivers, or of providing well-known information (notably about his [[Christian's name change|name change]]). Her appearances on the PVCC usually tend to be vapid attention seeking exercises full of retarded [[random-access humor]] rather than any kind of personal insights into Chris.

On the other hand, she is highly regarded by some trolls (who clearly don't have much female interaction) who fawn over her many [[YouTube]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWYguLerBg8 dancing videos] and mistake her forced randomness for personality.

For the most part, it seems Anna wants it both ways. She wants to be a close confidant of Chris to achieve e-fame, but she also wants the admiration of trolls, which she hasn't received. Despite her many claims that she doesn't care what anyone thinks, she has shown herself to be very sensitive towards criticism.

==Reliability==

Anna is an unreliable source and not to be trusted under any circumstance.

==Anna's b-day/going away party==
Before Anna left for Utah, Chris decided to throw a birthday/going away party for her {{cite}}. Fortunately for trolls, it was documented and Chris is seen outside of his natural habitat, [[Fail|attempting to socialize with his peers]].

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0689-ANNABD2.JPG|Everyone's favorite crypto-troll, Anna.
Image:0690-ANNABD3.JPG|A seemingly innocent party...
Image:0691-ANNABD4.JPG|...with cards...
Image:0692-ANNABD5.JPG|...the close company of friends...
Image:0693-AnnaBD7.JPG|...cake...
Image:0697-AnnaBD10.JPG|...(too hard to tell)...
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|...aaaaaaaaaand here's Chris.
Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|"You gonna get raped."
Image:0696-AnnaBD6.JPG|Yes, she was smiling, but you can see that on the inside she was dying.
</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:AVDYT01-001.jpg
</gallery>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.annamclerran.blogspot.com/ Her blog]
*[http://dangerless.blogspot.com/ Her other blog]
*[http://thisisaskateblog.blogspot.com/ Another goddamn blog!]
*[http://mclerran.deviantart.com/ Her mediocre DA]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/mickylaren Her YT account]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:McLerran, Anna}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]

Some Favored Comedians

2010-05-21T02:44:16Z

Psycatalyst: /* Transcript */

{{recent}}
[[Image:Chris gay trucker.jpg|thumb|right|]]
'''Some Favored Comedians''' (officially "'''Some Favored Comedians.MOV'''") is a 20 [[May 2010]] video where [[Chris]] bores his [[fanbase]] by discussing various comedians and Seth McFarlane. He reiterates his [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|dislike for the change in voice actors on The Cleveland Show]], does several terrible impersonations, and describes a scenario where Jerry Seinfeld meets him and does a stand up act about how [[Chris and ego|awesome]] it is to meet a [[Chris|retarded manchild]]. Chris seems to go out of his way to mention how much he doesn't [[racism|hate]] [[Chris and religion|Jews]] but gives no justification for his [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|recent actions]]. Chris mentions that Larry the Cable Guy should be called Larry the Trucker Man and then switches, in an ADD kind of way, to Peter Cullen's voice acting [[Optimus Prime]].

Despite Chris being a critical and avid fan of The Cleveland Show, he consistently refers to [[Wikipedia:Reagan Gomez|Reagan Gomez]] as "Regina", quite possibly an artifact of his [[Autism]] for which he blames almost all of his shortcomings, or confusion with [[Wikipedia:Regina King|Regina King]], who voices characters on ''The Boondocks''. He also repeatedly mispronounces Mila Kunis's name. Considering that she's the voice of his favorite Family Guy gal-pal, well, that comes as no surprise.
{{-}}

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Some Favored Comedians
| video = {{#ev:youtube|URLwUjuNJYM}}
| stardate = 20 [[May 2010]]
| subject = {{Rumours|text}}, {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt = {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[05142010]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcript==
Ah, [[Captain's Log]], May 22nd- [''flashes his school ring''] May 20th, 2010. I just uh, started up this video [''takes his glasses off''] to uh, give y'all a little update about myself [''puts glasses back on, coughs'']. You know, I'm doing well, so's my [[Barb|mom]], and for your information my [[Bob|father]] is alive and well so, that rumour is false. My father is alive and well.

Anyway uh, anyway with that I wanna talk about some of my favourite uh, comedy people. But uh, I'd like to start off with uh, prefacing with uh, prefrencing an old- a [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|past video of mine]], of which I have uh made the complaint about uh... [[Wikipedia:Reagan Gomez|Regina Gomez]] who plays [[Wikipedia:Nia Long|Nia Long]] on [[The Cleveland Show]]. I mean yeah that was definitely like a trade down in comparison. [''Chris turns to his TV''] Let's go to a clip of Nia Long.

[''Clip of The Cleveland Show plays - probably from [[Wikipedia:Da Doggone Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance|Da Doggone Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance]]'']

And then uh now, check out uh, Ragina Gomez in comparison.

[''Plays another clip from The Cleveland Show - probably from [[Wikipedia:Once Upon a Tyne in New York|Once Upon a Tyne in New York]]'']

You see a difference? Big difference. Regina is a whiny voiced little brat, whereas uh Nia... [''turns to TV''] was a lot better. And uh, [''turns to camera''] an another reference, that was like uh, when they changed the voice- they changed the voice actress for [''turns to TV''] [[Family_Guy#Chris_and_Meg|Megan Griffin]]. I mean, yeah here's the first voice. This is an improvement by the way.

[''Plays a clip from Family Guy'']

Yeah see well, this was a better change in comparison. You know, change it from... I forget her name... to [[Wikipedia:Mila Kunis|Mila Kunis]]. Whoops, I don't need that selected(?) [''mutters something'']. Here's Mila.

[''Plays a clip from Family Guy'']

Yeah big difference. Big difference between the uh, voice actresses you know. When they sw- they, did it from [[Wikipedia:Lacey Chabert|whoever she was]] to Mila Kunis, that was an improvement because, you know, maturing- the voice deepens naturally. Whereas The Cleveland Show switching from Ni- switching from Nia Long to Regina Gomez. That's a trade ''down'' [''gestures and points down'']. I mean I- I gotta tell you my opinion [''removes glasses'']. It must have been like uh, Seth McFarlane and uh, Mike Henry musta had uh, too many drinks or somethin' to decide to uh, switch from Nia to Regina. Or a- or I don't know whether it's um, it was their decision or what Nia had in her head when sh- uh, when she left the show for that point.

And I leave you all with that. Let's talk about uh, let's talk about famous comedy people. Uh, y'all know I like uh, I like from plastma classtics(?), [[Wikipedia:Lucille Ball|Lucille Ball]] [''High-pitched voice impression''] ''Hello, friends. I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl. Are you tired, run down, and listless? Do you [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|poop out]] at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin''. And uh, I also like [[Wikipedia:Red Skelton|Red Skelton]]. [''Dopey voice impression''][''unintelligible'']. [''chuckles a bit''] Very funny people. I also liked uh, I also liked [[Wikipedia:Dick Van Dyke|Dick Van Dyke]], [[Wikipedia:Mary Tyler Moore|Mary Tyler Moore]] and, [[Wikipedia:Bob Newhart|Bob Newhart]], there's another good one. I like those types of people, but from today's- from this generation, I like [[Wikipedia:Tim Allen|Tim Allen]]. He's a funny man. Yeah. [''Laughs''] I was just remember the uh, part where- the one where he ''Tim don't put your hand in the light socket *pfft*''. But seriously though, he does very good, he's a funny man.

I also like [[Wikipedia:Jerry Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]]. He- he's very funny. I watched his show every- I watch his show every day on TBS... And, you know, too bad- too bad it ended. He coulda done more shows but whatever. That was his call there. He decided that after nine seasons. I like Jerry Seinfeld, he's a funny man. You know I would- you know I would definitely like to see this, you know, even as a video response from Jerry Himself, his view on autis- on autistic people. Especially the high functioning autistics like myself, you know.

[''Stares into space, makes a creepy smile'']

And also, think about this, I probably sound like Jerry Sein- I probably sound like Jerry Seinfeld, you know? This could be a comedy routine for himself, you know, that he could do for autistics.

[''Pantomimes holding a mic, attempts to impersonate Jerry Seinfeld'']

Ah yeah, so I just recently been [[Pedofork|introduced to this uh, autistic, uh, boy]]- this autistic teenage boy here. And uh, and we sai- you know, I was introduced, so he opened up to me right away. And then I- and then- later, like I- later at this picnic, this community picnic, he uh, I see him- I see him over there and he wants to find- he wants to [[Fuck quest|meet himself a lady]], so he's hanging out over there. And I don't see him talking to the ladies, he just uh, he's just uh, smiling and being silent. I mean, he ain't gonna go anywhere unless he talks to- unless he talks to the but then again that's part of the autism right there. He just tends to blank out when he's not introduced to people. Because he's scared of the unknown. That's very common among the autistic people. And I'll tell you something else. Today's society where everybody is glued to their computers and internet and all that, they're definitely closing themselves off from society. It's like they're becoming autistics themselves. I mean, if they're definitely not glued in front of their computer they're definitely about as blank as that au- that little teenage boy was.

[''Pantomimes releasing mic, stares into space for a few moments.'']

Eh, yeah, but anyway I would definitely like to hear Jerry Seinfeld's uh, opinions and views, or a comedy sketch about autistic people. 'Cuz I want to ask him about that. Oh yeah, also you know, another Jewish dude I like- that he strikes me as funny, [[Wikipedia:Brad Garrett|Brad Garrett]], you know, from ''Everybody Loves Raymond'', also doing the guy from ''’Til Death''. He actually also starred in an episode of ''Seinfeld'' I read, where he steals Jerry's car. Still that does- that seems kind of dumb, you know. I even read that he tried- he tried out for Kramer, I mean, I mean he definitely would not have been- I do not know if he would be a better Kramer, I mean [''Voice changes''] "What are you looking at crazy?" I dunno. Ha, I mean,
[''Waves arms around''] "Who-whoop-whoop PIA! Yeah. Hi Jer!" [''chuckles''] Yeah I think uh, Brad Garrison is a little bit more subtle, but I like him too. You know. And I have nothing against [[Jews|Jewish people]], I mean there's people too, and I got nothing against Jewish community. I mean they have their views and we have our views, Let's leave it at that. I mean they're all- they're all- they're people we're people, [''face contorts with racism''] no problem.

[[File:LarrySad.jpg|thumb|Larry the Cable Guy's likely reaction.]]
I know I sent [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|crossed signals]] about that at past points. Oh, hey, you know another dude I like? [''puts on a baseball cap''] Larry the Cable Guy. ''Git-R-Done!'' [''chuckles''] Funny dude, you know. He definitely could been- he definitely had the trucker look going for him if he uh, wasn't being the cable guy. Yeah I mean, I would definitely think that would have uh, the way he was dressed they would him "Larry the Trucker Man!" Trucker Man. [''chuckles''] Yeaah, pretty funny. [''takes off cap''] Oh and also you know, speaking of impressions uhh, here's [[Wikipedia:Peter Cullen|Peter Cullen]] [''Quotes some Optimus Prime lines from Transformers'']. That's spot on, dead on Peter Cullen right there. And I'm glad that, you know, aside from the generation one series, they let him do t- he volunte- he volunteered to do the voice of Optimus in the new movies, as well as in the video games. I mean all th- of all the generations between the Optimus Primes and the Optimus Primals, [''points at camera''] Peter Cullen ''is'' Optimus Prime. Of all time.

Anyway, that's uhh, just uh some of my opinions about some current and past comedians and uh, Seth! Mike! Bring back Nia Long! [''Puts glasses back on''] Anyway, I'll leave y'all with uh, that and those impressions. Until then- until another time when I have another thought or, whatever - have a good day. [''makes the peace sign''] Peace.

==References==
<references />

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[05142010]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2010-05-20]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:Rocky Shoemaker

2010-05-16T20:47:56Z

Psycatalyst: /* Dox */

== RAEP ==

Does anyone have that chatlog where Chris came in IRC as a "troll", dropping not-so-subtle hints about his desire to "force himself upon his authority figures" AKA Rocky. [[User:Virusys|Virusys]] 05:02, 7 September 2009 (CEST)

well, that was easy. FRONT PAGE LOLOLOLOLOL
http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php/IRC_(23_July_2009)
[[user:larrykoopa13|larrykoopa13]] 8:48, 4 October 2009 (CST)

This woman is a mystery to me. I wonder why Chris listens to her up to some point and not to the rest of the world and why she supports him at all. Is she in any way attractive to him? A target for his Love/Fuck Quest? Are there any other sources where Chris mentions Rocky? --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 11:31, 8 October 2009 (CEST)
*It's the same reason Chris listens to anyone on some points but not others - Chris listens to what he wants to hear and blocks out anything unpleasant (read: the truth). She supports him because that's her job - a counselor usually doesn't tell their client "You're a sick piece of shit" no matter how true it is, and even if they think it, they don't word it that way. I think she's middle aged or waaaaaaaaaaay past Chris's age range of acceptable women. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:56, 8 October 2009 (CEST)
*:So was MLW and he still drew porn of her. Perhaps his desire to "force himself" upon authority figures removes all of his sexual conditions, e.g. for age and appearance, which makes all those "Chris wants to screw his mom" projections all the more horrifyingly possible. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 22:29, 8 October 2009 (CEST)
*:: NOOOO! The mental images! Anyway, I'd expect a halfway decent counsellor to at least discuss, if not confront him with, behaviour that isn't acceptable. That's what I would do at least. If my client would come to me smelling like something died, I would let him know and expect him to do something about it if he wanted to visit regularly. (true story btw) Since you know what happens when white knights try to diplomatically talk some sense into him, would that mean that Rocky never tried anything of the sort? Running interference with trolling plots doesn't seem nearly as important or obvious as telling him to shower regularly. Or do I get the wrong idea about what kind of counsellor Rocky is? If you want I can add a piece to the article discussing this. --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 09:58, 9 October 2009 (CEST)

== Quitting the internet ==

Perhaps we should add a section about Rocky's determination to make Chris quit the internet forever. His [[C-Ya Later]] video definitely seems like Chris is being influenced into saying that he is quitting the internet, and it's likely that Rocky told Chris to delete the videos wherein Chris begs the Wallflower to come back to him and his disapproval of abstinence. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:24, 4 April 2010 (UTC)
*That is one big assumption that would influence people's perspective of Rocky. That's too big of an assumption to make. Furthermore, there's a lot of other factors. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:12, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
*Rocky is the prime suspect. I suspect his orders were "DO NOT MENTION TROLLS IN ANY VIDEOS"--F ABSTINENCE made mention of Mao and so Rocky had him delete it. But I think Wallflower told Chris to delete all videos where he mentioned her--Chris, being a lazy fuck, only deleted the video where he put her penname in the title and not the ones where he used her actual name.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:42, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:*No, I'm telling you guys are wrong. Trust me on this one. You're giving too much credit to Rocky when there's a lot of forces involved. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:13, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

== Chris's new CWCipedia quote (URGENT) ==

{{quote|Surprises always come up at one time or another, so expect the unexpected.
With that, I give little regards to the people who have proven themselves to be nothin' but a bunch of immature pranksters. Your mockery webpages/sites/ads/words/images all may as well evaporate back to nothing, because I'm Not Giving Them Attention At All.
'''I am finding peace off of the internet.'''}}

That's it. Rocky definitely has something to do with this, and whatever it's doing, it's making Chris slowly disappear from the internet.

I direct you all to [[User:MoarLurk/MoarRambles#Sonichu 11 plan|this]]. Effective immediately, this plan should go on, especially because Alec made this image:

[[Image:Sonichu 11 Teaser.jpg|thumb|center]]

[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 04:07, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
:It appears the plan is definitely underway. Excellent. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:14, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Please point out the signs, I only made up that plan after Alec put that up. Also, Chris isn't slowly disappearing, he's the same idiot he's always been and I know that that idiot will rage if we just push him a little more. His pretend-fight with Clyde in that one video is a fairly accurate example of how his rage works--he starts by acting like it's not having any effect, then becomes gradually annoyed as the insults escalate, until finally one pushes him over the edge and he starts churning out rage videos. Bonus points if we get him to make a video--Rocky may be monitoring his channel and if he makes a video directed at us she'll probably see it and discover that Chris disobeyed her order. Thus, we've sent our message to her--fuck off our manchild.
::*True... when he discovered the ED page, he lasted almost a year from [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|this video]] to [[CWC's Second Message|this one]], where he released his bottled up tard rage and coined pedofork. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 04:41, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
::*You guys give Rocky too much credit. Seriously, to the best of my knowledge, she has nothing to do with this or if she does she has little part. Believe it or not, Chris is capable of learning and he's like the retarded mouse who eventually learns that it's not a bad idea to touch the shocked cheese. However, he'll forget and touch the cheese again.
:::All in good time, gentlemen, all in good time things will play out.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:15, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
::::Still though, we don't want to lose our favourite manchild. We will want to get him back proper ASAP. Thats why we have the new ads and thats why we are debating tactics to get him to return. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 13:32, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
:::: I was going to call Chris tomorrow. I tried today but couldn't get through, I'll give it another crack tho and see if I can make it work. I'm about to go to bed, but I'll check this thread before I call him tomorrow; do we want me to mention the possibility that the webmaster might have to turn over the site to Alec because it's not making any money? If so, leave a few notes about what you want me to say and I'll mention them. If not, lemme know too and I won't mention it. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]]
:::: Updating a dead topic. I suggest waiting until a few days before the end of the month. At that point, Sysop will send Chris an email telling him that due to his inactivity, the other claimant to the Sonichu Copyright will gain partial control of the site if he fails to upload a set number of pages before the month is over. Said other claimant will also be able to allow in whoever he or she wants. He'll probably miss the email and lose some control over the website. Giving Alec an account would be brilliant, of course.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:29, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

==Dox==

Wait, since when did we have Rocky's home address and why hasn't it been passed to EDF? Did I miss something?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:30, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

I think someone should sort out the older information. I think one of the numbers are obsolete
*Jerry L. and Rochelle A. Shoemaker
*Job:Pastoral Counselor, at Assistant Pastor for Care Ministries at the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church
*21.04 acres at 315 Ivy Vista Drive, Charlottesville, VA 22903
*Price $1,175,000.[http://www.readthehook.com/stories/2008/02/21/REALESTATE-Sold-0708A.rtf.aspx]
*(434) 244-2898
*revrocky48@gmail.com
*revrocky@yahoo.com
''Older Info''
*Community of Faith United Methodist Church, Herndon[http://vaumc.org/NCFileRepository/Journal2008/2008Journal.pdf]
*12836 PARAPET WAY
*HERNDON, VA 20171
*703-517-2446

Talk:Rocky Shoemaker

2010-05-16T20:45:39Z

Psycatalyst: /* Dox */

== RAEP ==

Does anyone have that chatlog where Chris came in IRC as a "troll", dropping not-so-subtle hints about his desire to "force himself upon his authority figures" AKA Rocky. [[User:Virusys|Virusys]] 05:02, 7 September 2009 (CEST)

well, that was easy. FRONT PAGE LOLOLOLOLOL
http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php/IRC_(23_July_2009)
[[user:larrykoopa13|larrykoopa13]] 8:48, 4 October 2009 (CST)

This woman is a mystery to me. I wonder why Chris listens to her up to some point and not to the rest of the world and why she supports him at all. Is she in any way attractive to him? A target for his Love/Fuck Quest? Are there any other sources where Chris mentions Rocky? --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 11:31, 8 October 2009 (CEST)
*It's the same reason Chris listens to anyone on some points but not others - Chris listens to what he wants to hear and blocks out anything unpleasant (read: the truth). She supports him because that's her job - a counselor usually doesn't tell their client "You're a sick piece of shit" no matter how true it is, and even if they think it, they don't word it that way. I think she's middle aged or waaaaaaaaaaay past Chris's age range of acceptable women. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:56, 8 October 2009 (CEST)
*:So was MLW and he still drew porn of her. Perhaps his desire to "force himself" upon authority figures removes all of his sexual conditions, e.g. for age and appearance, which makes all those "Chris wants to screw his mom" projections all the more horrifyingly possible. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 22:29, 8 October 2009 (CEST)
*:: NOOOO! The mental images! Anyway, I'd expect a halfway decent counsellor to at least discuss, if not confront him with, behaviour that isn't acceptable. That's what I would do at least. If my client would come to me smelling like something died, I would let him know and expect him to do something about it if he wanted to visit regularly. (true story btw) Since you know what happens when white knights try to diplomatically talk some sense into him, would that mean that Rocky never tried anything of the sort? Running interference with trolling plots doesn't seem nearly as important or obvious as telling him to shower regularly. Or do I get the wrong idea about what kind of counsellor Rocky is? If you want I can add a piece to the article discussing this. --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 09:58, 9 October 2009 (CEST)

== Quitting the internet ==

Perhaps we should add a section about Rocky's determination to make Chris quit the internet forever. His [[C-Ya Later]] video definitely seems like Chris is being influenced into saying that he is quitting the internet, and it's likely that Rocky told Chris to delete the videos wherein Chris begs the Wallflower to come back to him and his disapproval of abstinence. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:24, 4 April 2010 (UTC)
*That is one big assumption that would influence people's perspective of Rocky. That's too big of an assumption to make. Furthermore, there's a lot of other factors. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:12, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
*Rocky is the prime suspect. I suspect his orders were "DO NOT MENTION TROLLS IN ANY VIDEOS"--F ABSTINENCE made mention of Mao and so Rocky had him delete it. But I think Wallflower told Chris to delete all videos where he mentioned her--Chris, being a lazy fuck, only deleted the video where he put her penname in the title and not the ones where he used her actual name.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:42, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:*No, I'm telling you guys are wrong. Trust me on this one. You're giving too much credit to Rocky when there's a lot of forces involved. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:13, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

== Chris's new CWCipedia quote (URGENT) ==

{{quote|Surprises always come up at one time or another, so expect the unexpected.
With that, I give little regards to the people who have proven themselves to be nothin' but a bunch of immature pranksters. Your mockery webpages/sites/ads/words/images all may as well evaporate back to nothing, because I'm Not Giving Them Attention At All.
'''I am finding peace off of the internet.'''}}

That's it. Rocky definitely has something to do with this, and whatever it's doing, it's making Chris slowly disappear from the internet.

I direct you all to [[User:MoarLurk/MoarRambles#Sonichu 11 plan|this]]. Effective immediately, this plan should go on, especially because Alec made this image:

[[Image:Sonichu 11 Teaser.jpg|thumb|center]]

[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 04:07, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
:It appears the plan is definitely underway. Excellent. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:14, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Please point out the signs, I only made up that plan after Alec put that up. Also, Chris isn't slowly disappearing, he's the same idiot he's always been and I know that that idiot will rage if we just push him a little more. His pretend-fight with Clyde in that one video is a fairly accurate example of how his rage works--he starts by acting like it's not having any effect, then becomes gradually annoyed as the insults escalate, until finally one pushes him over the edge and he starts churning out rage videos. Bonus points if we get him to make a video--Rocky may be monitoring his channel and if he makes a video directed at us she'll probably see it and discover that Chris disobeyed her order. Thus, we've sent our message to her--fuck off our manchild.
::*True... when he discovered the ED page, he lasted almost a year from [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|this video]] to [[CWC's Second Message|this one]], where he released his bottled up tard rage and coined pedofork. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 04:41, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
::*You guys give Rocky too much credit. Seriously, to the best of my knowledge, she has nothing to do with this or if she does she has little part. Believe it or not, Chris is capable of learning and he's like the retarded mouse who eventually learns that it's not a bad idea to touch the shocked cheese. However, he'll forget and touch the cheese again.
:::All in good time, gentlemen, all in good time things will play out.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:15, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
::::Still though, we don't want to lose our favourite manchild. We will want to get him back proper ASAP. Thats why we have the new ads and thats why we are debating tactics to get him to return. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 13:32, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
:::: I was going to call Chris tomorrow. I tried today but couldn't get through, I'll give it another crack tho and see if I can make it work. I'm about to go to bed, but I'll check this thread before I call him tomorrow; do we want me to mention the possibility that the webmaster might have to turn over the site to Alec because it's not making any money? If so, leave a few notes about what you want me to say and I'll mention them. If not, lemme know too and I won't mention it. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]]
:::: Updating a dead topic. I suggest waiting until a few days before the end of the month. At that point, Sysop will send Chris an email telling him that due to his inactivity, the other claimant to the Sonichu Copyright will gain partial control of the site if he fails to upload a set number of pages before the month is over. Said other claimant will also be able to allow in whoever he or she wants. He'll probably miss the email and lose some control over the website. Giving Alec an account would be brilliant, of course.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:29, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

==Dox==

Wait, since when did we have Rocky's home address and why hasn't it been passed to EDF? Did I miss something?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:30, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

I think someone should sort out the older information. I think one of the numbers are obsolete
*Jerry L. and Rochelle A. Shoemaker
*Price $1,175,000.[http://www.readthehook.com/stories/2008/02/21/REALESTATE-Sold-0708A.rtf.aspx]
*Job:Pastoral Counselor, at Assistant Pastor for Care Ministries at the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church
*21.04 acres at 315 Ivy Vista Drive, Charlottesville, VA 22903
*(434) 244-2898
*revrocky48@gmail.com
*revrocky@yahoo.com
''Older Info''
*Community of Faith United Methodist Church, Herndon[http://vaumc.org/NCFileRepository/Journal2008/2008Journal.pdf]
*12836 PARAPET WAY
*HERNDON, VA 20171
*703-517-2446

File:Allisonambercashed.jpg

2010-05-16T08:04:16Z

Psycatalyst:

Allison Amber

2010-05-16T08:04:01Z

Psycatalyst:

'''Allison Amber''' is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s secretary in the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]]. She was introduced in [[Sonichu 6|Sonichu #6]] to explain how Chris can run CWCville without actually doing any work.

==Backstory==
[[Image:Allison Amber 1.jpg|thumb|200px|right|What's that, Mr. Chandler? You want me to take care of your talking zombie dog? Well, I guess the fire department's payroll can wait until tomorrow...]]
In Episode 12.5, Chris introduced his dog [[Patti]] to the storyline by having her magically transformed into the talking, bipedal [[Patti-Chan]]. Chris took her to his [[CWCville Mayoral Office|mayoral office]] in [[CWCville]], where she could run free among all the other furfags without grossing anyone out.

{{quote|Not only is it a home-away-from-home, but every city document, every public decision, every single fun event that goes on in this community are all planned and stored here in these four walls.|Chris, describing his communist hallucinations to his dead dog}}
[[Image:Allisonambercashed.jpg|thumb|left|Allison Amber after sex with [[Clyde]]]]
Writing this part of the story must have forced Chris to give serious thought to his fictional duties as mayor, in light of the events of [[Sonichu 4]], where he was shown mostly sitting around in various shops and fast food places goofing off and praying for women to notice him. Typical of Chris's thought process, he quickly realized the solution to this plot hole: he has his secretary do everything for him.

Enter Allison Amber, a former movie star who retired in her 20s to pursue her dream of working as a mayoral aide. This would be an interesting premise, except Chris has no interest in exploring the irony of a successful movie star aspiring to be a humble secretary. Instead, this seems to just be more window dressing for Chris's fantasy life of having the ultimate goal of any woman be submissive to him. Not only does he have super powers, not only does he rule a whole city like a king, but he's also got a movie star handling his paperwork.

According to ''Sonichu'' #6, Allison is 26 years old, white, and blonde. One would wonder why he doesn't just go out with her instead of getting arrested for loitering at [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], so Chris established that Allison is currently "in a relationship with her... ugh... boyfriend." Observers at first assumed that Chris still had too much pride to create a fictitious sexual partner for himself, but such optimism has since been [[Lovely Weather|scuttled]].

Quite possibly the most depressing character in the series. Because, let's face it, the only thing more pathetic than being Christian Weston Chandler would have to be being his ''assistant''. This makes Allison a popular character in troll works, usually played up as a sensible woman who grudgingly tolerates Chris's madness.

==Duties==
[[Image:Allison Amber 2.jpg|thumb|300px|right|PROTIP: Don't reference good comics in your crappy comic.]]
[[Image:330-AllisonAmber.jpg|thumb|left|An early version of Allison Amber.]]
As Chris explains to Patti, Allison receives "incoming documents", looks them over, and then explains the gist of them to Chris over the phone. She then scans the documents, and uploads them to the "CWCville Sattelite", which relays the information to Chris's Nintendo DS, which apparently has Wi-Fi capabilities as well as P.D.A. functions. Chris can then read the documents for himself on the DS, and sign off on them using the touchscreen and stylus. The documents are then sent back to Amber, who prints them off with Chris's signature.

Alternatively, Allison could just forge Chris's signature and save a lot of time and trouble, but she probably sends a few over to Chris just to make him feel important.

In addition to clerical work, Allison also prepared a cell phone and credit card for Patti to use in her new life in CWCville. Chris instructed Patti to call either himself or Allison in case of emergencies, so it's a safe bet Allison's the one who's actually going to have to look after Patti and pick up her shit.

In [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], Chris was stranded indefinitely in the void of time. Upon learning this, [[Rosechu]] indicated that Allison would be able to "handle city decisions" in his absence, presumably making her the ''de facto'' Deputy Mayor. She appears again in [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]], apparently weary of her newfound responsibilities.

In the [[CWCipedia]], Chris clarifies that Allison has actually been the Vice-Mayor the whole time, but apparently because she's a [[Women's Rights|woman]] she has to settle for the lowly title of Secretary. Chris also clarifies that "NO FAVORS OF ANY KIND WENT ON Between [him] and her," correctly deducing that we would all assume he would use his authority as mayor to force himself on the nearest pretty girl. Oh, and this information all appears on the [[BILLY MAYS]] article, because Chris won't waste the time to create a CWCipedia article on a woman [[Rosechu|unless constantly pressured]].

For no obvious reason, Allison has a picture of Batman hanging on the wall behind her desk. This may be an oblique reference to "[[Family Guy]]", which features "Batman" star Adam West as a mayor, but this seems pretty subtle for Chris. It could be that Allison Amber, given her alliterative name, is a reference to superhero love interests/female assistants, like Pepper Potts of ''Iron Man'' and Lois Lane of ''Superman'', and showing Batman is some weird way of pointing that out even though he has no love interest akin to those examples. In all likelihood, though, Chris doesn't care about Batman as a comic book character, and just has his picture back there because he was in a successful movie. Allison, being a former movie star, would obviously have a Batman poster. Unless her boyfriend just ''is'' Batman.

==Trivia==
*The Batman picture might be a reference to how Allison is like Lucius Fox, an assistant that does all her superior's work while he is out fighting crime, but in Allison's case, fighting crime is wanking.
*Allison Amber appears on Chris's "One Girl Coupon", a sort of sex coupon that entitles the bearer to one girlfriend, and the recipients must "do anything necessary." Golden showers, Cleveland steamers, and going Greek may still be extra though. This ticket is absolute proof that Chris is ''[[White_knight_emails#September_2008_.E2.80.94_Chris_denies_being_fat_and_sexist|not]]'' a [[Women's rights|sexist]]. Also note that it says "of any [[Pedofork|desired]] [[Zapina|age]]."

WARNING: Presenting this coupon to about 99.9% of girls will earn you at least five kicks to at least five areas below the waist, and you may find yourself placed on the sex offender registry. Always.
[[Image:331-Girlcoupon.jpg|center|ONE GIRLFRIEND, PLEASE.]]

[[Category: Sonichu]]
[[Category: Characters]]
[[Category: Plot Devices]]

Clyde Cash

2010-05-16T03:40:20Z

Psycatalyst: /* In the beginning */

[[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|The real Clyde Cash, [[Secret Weapon|according to Chris]].]]
[[File:Issue 4 Page 2 edit.JPG|thumb|Chris wishes he could do this.]]

{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}
{{quote|Then the dragon stood on the sand of the seashore. I saw a beast coming out of the sea. It had ten horns, seven heads, and ten royal crowns on its horns. On its heads were blasphemous names.|The Bible on Clyde Cash}}

'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' - that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three g's]]) ([[Wikipedia:Born on the Fourth of July|04 July]] [[Wikipedia:1976|1976]]) was the older brother of [[Ryan Cash]] who decided to take vengeance against Chris after his brother killed himself. He was the former leader of [[The Miscreants]]. His close friend is [[Bryan Bash]], he once employed [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]] (Jew variety) and his cousin is [[Vivian Gee]].

'''He's back.'''

==In the beginning==
[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|Artist's interpretation of the epic struggle.]]
For the longest time Clyde had no problems with Chris. Although he disapproved of some of the content, he was pleased to see the joy the franchise had brought his brother Ryan. Every night before bed Clyde would read Ryan the latest Sonichu adventure, until Ryan had dozed off to sleep (usually with the first three pages.)
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|left|Clyde Cash and his buddy [[Jack Thaddeus]].]]
This changed when Chris announced, in his usual knee-jerk fashion, that he was going to stop drawing Sonichu comics. Clyde tried comforting the upset Ryan to no avail. On the 24th of December Clyde entered Ryan's bedroom, intending to share a tray of freshly baked gingerbread men, only to find the lifeless form of his brother swinging from a light fixture. The dark silhouette of his body threw ghostly shadows across the room.

On the desk Clyde found a note - apparently the pain of not knowing whether Crystal would be released from the Dark Hole Mirror was too much for the young Ryan to bear. Clyde screamed but no sounds would come out. Collapsing to the floor, he swore undying revenge on Christian Weston Chandler.

<center>{{#ev:youtube|32XiZC2yG1Y}}</center>
 

==The Torment Begins==

Clyde's first act was to rape [[Panda]]<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]]. Then, he posed as Gregg Mays (a web designer working for [[Nintendo]]) to gain access to [[Sonichu.net]]. Holding the site for ransom, he told Chris to make a video proclaiming he was gay. He then told him to make a [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site. Striking again, Clyde worked with a [[troll]] and got rid of the domain. Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of Panda, Clyde managed to gain access again.

It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. Teaming up with [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]], they created the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

[[Julie]] set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[Trolls|true and honest Sonichu fans]]. Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating these chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of Julie. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a 13 year old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.

After that, he sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Jew friend]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The Jew turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated the church. He then stole Chris's one and only date, [[Emily]].

When [[Ivy]] came along, he decided to continually harass her and despite Chris making a few threats, Ivy eventually gave in and killed herself.

Oh, and Clyde also hacked into the [[PSN]] a few times. But then [[Jack Thaddeus]] did him one better...

And to think all this was done due to Chris not caring about one fan's tragic suicide.
[[Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|thumb|left]]
In Chris's revised Encyclopedia Dramatica page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll". This is a reference to the Transformers character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this because Clyde Cash allegedly killed [[BlueSpike]].

==In the comic==
[[Image:CWCsClyde.jpg|thumb|left|Clyde, left, with [[Ivy]]]]
In the [[comic]] Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a pickle gun and "slander ray."

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments]]

He made his first full appearance in [[Sonichu 10]] as the 4-cent_garbage building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns him and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When Beel escapes, he, too, condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for [[Christian Weston Chandler|Adolf Hitler]]. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6 story elevator shaft to their suicidal deaths.
{{Clear}}

== Currently ==
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|[[Homos|STRAIGHT]] ANGER]]
After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance. Chris is not very pleased.

When not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spends his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and Health|bulging muscles]].

[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|left|Clyde with [[The Wallflower]].]]

He had a picture to blackmail Clyde, but ultimately nothing came of it other than a series of videos where Chris tries to torture Clyde.<Ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]] and [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref> Clyde scoffed at the [[No More Jokes|final video]].

However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, makes clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.

In [[Don't Mess With Me|a recent video]], Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis, believing he was the reason why he lost "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a knife and slitting Clyde's throat as a warning to all trolls.
{{clear}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan Loves Clyde Cash
| video = {{#ev:youtube|73jIxs5yQLg}}
| Stardate = 17 April 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/CWCvillelulz CWCvillelulz]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = It's a love/hate relationship.
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan KILLED Clyde Cash (Never Before Seen Footage)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}
| Stardate = 7 June 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClydeCash TheClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
*[[A CWC Audition]]
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]

==Sauces==
<references />
==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash Clyde's new YouTube account]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date conversations] (part with Clyde begins at about 4:35)
*[http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263141624839RA18 An International Tribute to Teh Graet Clyde Cash]

{{Clyde Saga}}
{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Anna McLerran

2010-05-06T03:30:26Z

Psycatalyst: /* Current events */

[[Image:Anamc.jpg|thumb|right|Never trust a Mormon troll]]

'''Anna McLerran''' (born 30 July [[1985]]<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref>) met [[Chris]] through her job at the Pac Sun in the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. Chris has a tendency to pace in front of the storefront of various stores. The events occurring shortly after he decided to stop annoying the employees at Abercrombie & Fitch and start annoying the employees at the Pac Sun were what inspired her short story [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]].

Despite the insight she gave into the [[love quest]], she is widely disliked. According to the [[Blanca]] Emails by Chris, she is a lesbian.<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Future dates with Blanca]]</ref>

==ED drama==

After Christian discovered the aforementioned story on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], Anna felt a need to defend Chris against the internet at large. In a textbook case of [[White knight|white knighting]], she edited Chris's ED page. Anna added a new section to the article, in an attempt to paint Chris as a [[Chris and Fashion|goofy clown]], rather than a [[Chris Loses It|perverse psychotic]]. {{quote|I wrote that blog back when I didn't know Chris personally. I got to know him soon after that, and we became real friends. He's a really nice guy, with a great sense of [[Random-access humor|humor]]. Yes, to the outsider he is quirky, and some of his actions and the things he says can be funny, but at the same time he cares deeply about his friends, and all the other good stuff nobody looking at this page wants to hear about. I just wanted to put that out there, though, since I obviously can't permanently delete the blog inclusion. I'll just have to wait until this whole website is shut down for good.|Note From Anniebannany<ref>http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=next&oldid=1997694799</ref>}} This passage was so masturbatory, it was assumed that it was written by Christian himself and it was credited as such. However, in [[December 2009]], Anna admitted to writing the article section herself<ref>http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6427862439</ref>. It is unknown why she had actually befriended him; whether or not it was to quietly troll him and laugh at his stories; or if it was genuine. Many people lean towards the former as she appears to have a bit of a sadistic streak. While she is well known to defend her friends to the bitter end, Christian included, she has a prejudice against the mentally handicapped (who doesn't?), implying that [[autistic]] people should be embarrassed for being, well, autistic.

{{quote|C-Chan continues to crack me up with his antics. I know he's straight, but LAWD. If that boy would just heed even a few of my warnings, I flatter myself to think he'd go far.|Anna (clearly delusional)<ref>http://annamclerran.blogspot.com/2009/01/el-dee-ess-bee-see.html</ref>}}

==Current events==
[[Image:Clydecashandannamclerran.jpg|thumb|left|Shit was [[Clyde Cash|SO CASH]]]]
She currently resides in Salt Lake City, Utah, far from Chris, working as a Shipping Manager for the Family First Foundation<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref> and going to LDS Business school trying to get some bullshit Executive Assistant degree.<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref>

Anna has attempted to break into the art world with a seldom-updated [[DeviantART]] account, though her interest (but not talent) lies in writing. Anna has announced plans to write a book encompassing the life and failure of Chris-chan. As with many of her claims, this is to be taken with a grain of salt.

On the night of 5 [[December 2009]], Anna complained about pampered socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Ritchie|Nicole Ritchie's]] having appropriated a classic picture of Christian in his mother's underwear to use against tiresome faux-punk guitarist, Benji Madden. Anna, self-appointed guardian of the Manchild, kicked up a stink, demanding that the picture be taken down, as if it could not be found elsewhere. According to Anna, "he's autistic and does whatever the internet tells him to do :(",<ref>http://twitpic.com/s7pfi</ref> ignoring the substantial amount of depravity that he commits without any outside encouragement. Anna went on to criticizing the CWCki, claiming that "[[Lie|there is very little truth to anything those websites say about him]]. trust me on this one. he is an awesome guy in real life. super nice."<ref>Ibid.</ref> This is all very amusing when you consider her reaction to seeing the picture: "WHAT THE FUCK hahahahahhahahahaaha he's getting so famous!!"<ref>[http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6377147359 Anna's Twitter]</ref>

==Criticism==

Anna is a polarizing figure for trolls. Despite her openness and apparent willingness to help, she is disliked by many [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] regulars, who accuse her of being an "attention whore" who promises information on Chris but never delivers, or of providing well-known information (notably about his [[Christian's name change|name change]]). Her appearances on the PVCC usually tend to be vapid attention seeking exercises full of retarded [[random-access humor]] rather than any kind of personal insights into Chris.

On the other hand, she is highly regarded by some trolls (who clearly don't have much female interaction) who fawn over her many [[YouTube]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWYguLerBg8 dancing videos] and mistake her forced randomness for personality. Many foolhardy young trolls have attempted to white knight for Anna, only to be reminded that she is a lesbian (or at least uses that as a excuse to stop Chris from stalking her). This certainly hasn't stopped all the [[mass debating]] that surrounds her.

==Anna's b-day/going away party==
Before Anna left for Utah, Chris decided to throw a birthday/going away party for her {{cite}}. Fortunately for trolls, it was documented and Chris is seen outside of his natural habitat, [[Fail|attempting to socialize with his peers]].

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0689-ANNABD2.JPG|Everyone's favorite crypto-troll, Anna.
Image:0690-ANNABD3.JPG|A seemingly innocent party...
Image:0691-ANNABD4.JPG|...with cards...
Image:0692-ANNABD5.JPG|...the close company of friends...
Image:0693-AnnaBD7.JPG|...cake...
Image:0697-AnnaBD10.JPG|...(too hard to tell)...
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|...aaaaaaaaaand here's Chris.
Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|"You gonna get raped."
Image:0696-AnnaBD6.JPG|Yes, she was smiling, but you can see that on the inside she was dying.
</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:AVDYT01-001.jpg
</gallery>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.annamclerran.blogspot.com/ Her blog]
*[http://dangerless.blogspot.com/ Her other blog]
*[http://thisisaskateblog.blogspot.com/ Another goddamn blog!]
*[http://mclerran.deviantart.com/ Her mediocre DA]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/mickylaren Her YT account]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:McLerran, Anna}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]

File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg

2010-04-26T04:46:15Z

Psycatalyst:

Clyde Cash

2010-04-26T04:45:56Z

Psycatalyst: /* Acts of grievances */

[[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|The real Clyde Cash, [[Secret Weapon|according to Chris]].]]
[[File:Issue 4 Page 2 edit.JPG|thumb|Chris wishes he could do this.]]

{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}
{{quote|Then the dragon stood on the sand of the seashore. I saw a beast coming out of the sea. It had ten horns, seven heads, and ten royal crowns on its horns. On its heads were blasphemous names.|The Bible on Clyde Cash}}

'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' - that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three g's]]) ([[Wikipedia:Born on the Fourth of July|04 July]] [[Wikipedia:1976|1976]]) was the older brother of [[Ryan Cash]] who decided to take vengeance against Chris after his brother killed himself. He was the former leader of [[The Miscreants]]. His close friend is [[Bryan Bash]], he once employed [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]] (Jew variety) and his cousin is [[Vivian Gee]].

'''He's back.'''

== Acts of grievances ==
[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|Artist's interpretation of the epic struggle.]]
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|left|Clyde Cash and his buddy [[Jack Thaddeus]].]]

Clyde's first act was to rape [[Panda]]<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]]. Then, he posed as Gregg Mays (a web designer working for [[Nintendo]]) to gain access to [[Sonichu.net]]. Holding the site for ransom, he told Chris to make a video proclaiming he was gay. He then told him to make a [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site. Striking again, Clyde worked with a [[troll]] and got rid of the domain. Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of Panda, Clyde managed to gain access again.

It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. Teaming up with [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]], they created the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

[[Julie]] set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[Trolls|true and honest Sonichu fans]]. Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating these chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of Julie. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a 13 year old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.

After that, he sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Jew friend]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The Jew turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated the church. He then stole Chris's one and only date, [[Emily]].

When [[Ivy]] came along, he decided to continually harass her and despite Chris making a few threats, Ivy eventually gave in and killed herself.

Oh, and Clyde also hacked into the [[PSN]] a few times. But then [[Jack Thaddeus]] did him one better...

And to think all this was done due to Chris not caring about one fan's tragic suicide.
[[Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|thumb|left]]
In Chris's revised Encyclopedia Dramatica page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll". This is a reference to the Transformers character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this because Clyde Cash killed [[BlueSpike]].

==In the comic==
[[Image:CWCsClyde.jpg|thumb|left|Clyde, left, with [[Ivy]]]]
In the [[comic]] Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a pickle gun and "slander ray."

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments]]

He made his first full appearance in [[Sonichu 10]] as the 4-cent_garbage building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns him and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When Beel escapes, he, too, condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for [[Christian Weston Chandler|Adolf Hitler]]. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6 story elevator shaft to their suicidal deaths.
{{Clear}}

== Currently ==
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|[[Homos|STRAIGHT]] ANGER]]
After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance. Chris is not very pleased.

When not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spends his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and Health|bulging muscles]].

[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|left|Clyde with [[The Wallflower]].]]

He had a picture to blackmail Clyde, but ultimately nothing came of it other than a series of videos where Chris tries to torture Clyde.<Ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]] and [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref> Clyde scoffed at the [[No More Jokes|final video]].

However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, makes clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.

In [[Don't Mess With Me|a recent video]], Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis, believing he was the reason why he lost "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a knife and slitting Clyde's throat as a warning to all trolls.
{{clear}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan Loves Clyde Cash
| video = {{#ev:youtube|73jIxs5yQLg}}
| Stardate = 17 April 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/CWCvillelulz CWCvillelulz]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = It's a love/hate relationship.
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan KILLED Clyde Cash (Never Before Seen Footage)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}
| Stardate = 7 June 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClydeCash TheClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
*[[A CWC Audition]]
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]

==Sauces==
<references />
==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash Clyde's new YouTube account]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date conversations] (part with Clyde begins at about 4:35)
*[http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263141624839RA18 An International Tribute to Teh Graet Clyde Cash]

{{Clyde Saga}}
{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless

2010-04-24T06:08:23Z

Psycatalyst: /* Transcript */

'''04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless''' is a video uploaded on 23 [[April 2010]].

Wearing only his [[muscle bra|sports bra]], Chris reads easily accessible information about [[autism]] that he got from [[Wikipedia]] and autismspeaks.org for about 7 minutes. He gives his advice regarding how to raise an autistic child, but Chris, as the autistic he is, doesn't realize that he can't be taken seriously if he is wearing a bra. Chris then begins his protest against other men walking around shirtless, stating that it should be illegal unless said man is wearing a bra.

Chris appearing in his bra is most likely an attempt to take the wind out of the trolls' sails after [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|the horrors of the day before]]. Note the lack of the [[medallion]], or the [[high school ring]], and the fact that Chris can't explain autism with his own words and that he applies exactly none of the facts he mentions here to his life. And that he talked in a more monotone voice until he was talking about shirtless guys.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless
| image = {{#ev:youtube|oRJGyy7KMh4}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 23 April 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Autism]]
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Shirt = {{Cwcbra}} [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]
| previous = [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===

Good day. I’m here today on this, uh, pleasant day of April 2010 to, uh, discuss autism as it is Autism Awareness- Awareness Month. What is Autism? [Reads off clipboard] “Autism is a disorder of neutro- of neurodevelopment characterized by impaired social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior. These signs all begin before a child is three years old. Autism affects information processing in the brain [Points to head], by altering how nerve cells and nerve synapses connect and organize; how this concerned [ed--a misreading of 'occurs'] is not well understood.” And by where I got this information printed out here from, uh, autismspeaks.org and the Wikipedia page for autism.

[Deep breath] “Today it is estimated that 1 in every 110 children is diagnosed with autism, making it more common than childhood cancer, juvenile diabetes, and pediatric [[9 October 2009|AIDS]] combined. An estimated 1.5 million individuals in the United States and tens of millions worldwide are affected by autism. Studies suggest boys are a lot more likely than girls to develop autism and receive the diagnosis three to four times more frequently. Current estimates are that in the United States alone, one out of 70 boys is diagnosed with autism."

"As for social symptoms, uh, from the start typically developing infants are social beings. Early in life, they gaze at people, turn toward voices, grasp a finger, and even smile. By contrast most p-peop- most children with autism seem to have tremendous difficulty learning to engage in the give-and-take of everyday human interactions. Even in the first year of life, many do not interact and avoid eye contact in a no- normal way. They may seem indifferent to other people, and prefer being alone. They may resist attention or passively accept hugs and cuddling. Children with autism also are slower in learning to interpret what others are thinking and feeling. Subtle social cues — such as a smile, a wave, or a grimace—may have little or no meaning to a child with autism. To a child who misses these cues, such things as 'Come here' may always means the same thing, whether the speaker is smiling and extending her arms for a hug or frowning and planting her fists on her hips. Without the ability to interpret gestures and facial expressions, the social world may seem bewildering. To compound the problem, people with autism have difficulty seeing things from other pearson's perspective."

[Turns page on clipboard] "Most 5-year-olds understand that other people have different thoughts, feelings, and goals than they have, than they have. A child with autism may lack such understanding. This inability leaves them unable to predict or understand other people's actions. Predict or understand people’s actions. Although not universal, it is common for people with autism to have difficulty regulating their emotions. This can take the form of ‘immature’ behavior such as [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|crying in class]] or [[Sub-Episode_2#Sub-Episode_2:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22The_Rise_.26_Fall_of_My_Heart.22|verbal outbursts]] that may seem inappropriate to those around them. Sometimes they may also be disruptive or physically aggressive, making social relationships even more difficult. They have a tendency to [[Chris_Loses_It|'lose control']], particularly when they're in a strange or overwhelming environment, or when angry and frustrated."

"Communication. By age 3, most children have passed predictable milestones on the path to learning language; one of the earliest is babbling. Babbling. By the first birthday, a typical toddler says a word or two, turns and looks when he hears his name, points when he wants a toy, and when offered something distasteful, makes it clear that the answer is 'no'. [Scratches head] Some children diagnosed with autism remain mute throughout their lives, although the majority develop spoken language and all eventually learn to communicate in some way. Some infants who later show signs of autism coo and babble during the first few months of their life, but they stop. Others may be delayed, developing language as late as age 5 to 9. Some children may learn to use communication systems such as pictures or sign language, or closed captioning for the hearing impaired. Some speak only single words, while others repeat the same phrase over and over. They may repeat or parrot what they hear, a condition called e-cho-la-lia. Although many children with autism go through a stage where they repeat what they hear, it normally passes by the time they are- they are age 3. Another common difficulty is the inability to understand body language, tone of voice, or “phrases of speech.” For example, someone with autism might interpret a sarcastic expression such as “Oh, that's just great” as meaning it really is great."

"While it can be challenging for others to understand what children with autism are most able to say, their body language may also difficult to understand. [[Creepy_stare|Facial expressions]], movements, and [[Claw_of_fail|gestures]] may not match what they are saying. Also, their tone of voice might fail to reflect their feelings. They might use a [[Autism#Chris's_Symptoms|high-pitched, sing-song, or flat, robot-like voice.]] Some children with relatively good language skills speak like little adults, [Turns page] failing to pick up on the kid's speak that is common in their peers. Without meaningful gestures, or the language to ask for things, people with autism are less able to let other know- others know what they are need. As a result, they may simply [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|scream]] or [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Don.27t_Kiss_Me.2C_Bro|grab]] for what they want until they are taught. Better ways to express their needs. Children with autism do whatever they can to get though to others. As they grow up, they can become increasingly aware of their difficulties in understanding others and being understood."

"Repetitive behaviors. Although children with autism usually appear physically normal, odd repetitive motions may set them apart from other children. These behaviors might be extreme and highly apparent, or more subtle. Some chi- some children and other individuals repeatedly flap their arms, or walk on their toes. (unintelligible) as children, individuals with autism might spend hours lining up their cars or trains in a certain way, rather than using them for pretend play. Someone moves one of the toys, the children m-may be tremendously upset. Many children with autism meed and demand absolute consistency in their environment. A slight change in routine, such as meal time, dressing, [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|take a bath]], or going to school at the same time or by a certain route can be extremely stressful. Unless the child has made apparent that the change is okay and acceptable. Repetitive behavior sometimes takes the form of a [[China|persistent intense preoccupation.]] These strong interests may be unusual, because their [[Semen#Recycling|content]], or because the [[Love Quest|intensity]] of the interest. Treatment for autism is very intensive, comprehensive undertaking that involves the child's entire family and a team of professionals. Some programs may take place in a child's home with professionals and a trained therapist and may include parental training for the child under supervision of a professional. Some programs are delivered in a specialized center, clu-sumes, or preschool." (puts paper down)

[[File:SonichuBra.jpg|thumb|Sonichu, covering his shame in light of Chris's new legislation.]]
Though, as for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though [[Chris and reality|normal life]]. I mean yeah, gib'em [[Monthly tugboat|the special treatment while they're young]] but when you gottdem in elementary- but when you geddem in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go. Make sure you find yourself a good social teacher teach dem how to cope! And as you may have noticed, I am standing here today... topless (grabs bra and pushes it upwards), as you might say. I do this in defense, and in protest, because everytime I-because every time I see a [[Wikipedia:Kratos_(God_of_War)|male individual who goes around or runs around or exercises shirtless]], it is very offensive to me. And I do not appreciate that. And I am sure that it is a lot offens- it is offensive to a-a lot of other people as well. And a-madafra if I could, I would say that-I would make a LAW that would require all male individuals to wear a sports bra while they are out exercising or working if they insist on being shirtless! Come'oin dude, get with [[Gaybian|the program]]! No one wants to see these nips! And things are better left a mystery! I leave you all with that, and you have yourself a pleasant, safe day.
{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

User talk:GodofThunderGodofWar

2010-04-03T03:34:04Z

2010-04-03T02:15:33Z

Psycatalyst:

Fuck the welcome template, Chris doesn't even deserve one. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:47, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

We haven't banned this faggot have we? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

The great Clyde Cash has told us not to ban him. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:52, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Fuck you Chris. Go back to your leeches and your potions! [[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]]

Chris it is time to come out of your closet you homo. --[[User:Psycatalyst|Psycatalyst]] 02:15, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

The Wallflower

2010-03-22T02:01:56Z

Psycatalyst: if you were not a moral fag you would have just added the picture in and not remove additional ones

{{Ongoing}}
[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|The Wallflower doing what she does best.]]

"'''The Wallflower'''" aka '''Damian Antaria''' is the heir to [[Megan Schroeder]], a female friend [[Chris]] met some time around early [[2010]]. She is one of the few girls Chris has managed to associate with in his post-high-school years who is not (as far as can be seen) a direct result of [[trolling]]. In [[March 2010]], she joined the long list of would-be [[sweetheart]]s with whom Chris has failed to lose his hated virginity.

Whether or not the Megan-esque ending of their relationship is actually to blame on the trolls or is a direct result of Chris being himself is unknown. There is evidence that the Wallflower has been made aware of the [[CWCki]], but given Chris's past record of making an absolute tit of himself in every way imaginable, it is not unrealistic to consider that Chris himself scared the Wallflower away with his pungent aroma of [[Chris and health#Hygiene|sweat]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]], and [[AXE]]. Nevertheless, Chris has taken it upon himself to blame those god damn trolls for destroying yet another chance at getting some [[china]].

==References by Chris==
Exactly when Chris first met her is not clear. While he has jumped at the chance to advertise his involvement with some of his other women friends to the world, he has only made oblique, passing references to her. (Also, less information has been forthcoming about this particular sweetheart than some because unlike, say, [[PandaHalo]], she isn't actively leaking every detail of her communications with Chris to fellow trolls.)
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|Shit Was Soo Cash! The Wallflower also went to [[Clyde Cash]]!]]
The first signs of Chris's involvement with the Wallflower showed up in late January 2010. In [[Mailbag 46]], answered on 26 January 2010, Chris claimed to have joined a "Young Adult Social Group" and "met a lovely woman there who likes me too; we are hitting it off like two hip wallflowers." Around the same time, in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3]] (which took place on 30 January), Chris said he was expecting a phone call that may have been from her.

In the 14 February 2010 edition of the [[CWC Blog]], Chris declared that "currently, my girl friend and I are getting along great; the relationship is progressing. I only ask for y'all to leave me with my relationship, and not make me feel intruded by inquiring constantly." When a correspondent in [[Mailbag 56]] challenged Chris to prove the existence of his new "girl friend," Chris replied "She does exist, and I do not appreciate your tone at all."

In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris mentioned that he had met up and had sex with his future wife, [[Lovely Weather]] in a page that was uploaded 9 December 2009. As it was considered unusual for Chris to write about an entirely fictional sweetheart, it's possible that Lovely Weather was based on this person.

It's not clear how far the relationship actually "progressed," however. Chris, we can be certain, had designs on a physical relationship with her from the start. He has no truck with the notion of "[[Friend zone|just friends]]." The Wallflower may have felt otherwise, which could explain Chris's angry remarks on the subject of the "friend zone" in the [[Common Questions#15_January_2010|15 January 2010]] edition of the Mailbag. His [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!|abject plea to her]] from 14 March supports this supposition — in that video, Chris says that while they were acquainted, she told him she wasn't interested in a boyfriend. However, he implied that she was now thinking of dating some other guy, making it quite likely that she used "not interested in a boyfriend" as a polite way of turning Chris down. It's far more polite than "Fuck no, you disgusting freak."

Even with all evidence to the contrary, in his [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|C-Ya Later video]], he unabashedly refers to her as his "girlfriend", despite outright stating earlier that she had refused all his advances.

==Breakup?==
[[File:The link.jpg|thumb|How to troll both Chris and his trolls in one simple step.]]
When it was found out that Chris had a possibly non-troll gal-pal, most of the trolls agreed that the best course of action was to let the events play out on their own and have her find out herself what a [[Chris and Race|racist]], [[Sex|sexist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Monthly Tugboat|lazy]], [[Health|unhygienic]], [[Ego|narcissistic]], [[Hypocrisy|hypocritical]], [[naive]], and overall [[The Creepy Stare|creepy]] manchild Chris was. Despite this, one troll decided to fuck it all up and link her to the CWCki.

On 10 March 2010, Chris released [[A message to the Trolls]]. Emotionally distraught, he speaks in vague terms about troll interference in his life, and of the pains of a broken heart. At the same time, in a [[Cwc_blog|Captain's Log]] entry on the CWCipedia, Chris mentioned "BREAK-UPS FROM BEING EVEN SIMPLY FRIENDS WITH ME", which presumably refers to her cutting off all contact with him.

In the wee hours of 11 March 2010, Chris released [[Don't Mess With Me|a second video]], mentioning a theoretical meeting between him and an imaginary [[Clyde Cash]]. He beats the shit out of himself and the air, pulls out a tiny little [[pocket knife]] and cuts the throat of his invisible enemy, making it seem as if he blames the loss of the Wallflower or some other troubles on his old nemesis Clyde.

On 14 March 2010, Chris uploaded a new video and appeared to shift the blame to another troll, [[Surfshack Tito]]. In between delivering [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|bizarre threats of violence]], Chris makes a resolution to "regain the love and trust and friendship" of his gal-pal. It is not clear why Chris believes he can accomplish this goal by donning a kilt, waving around a small knife, putting on a grotesque attempt at a Scottish accent, and generally presenting a hideous affront to the culture and people of an entire nation.

Later that same day, Chris made [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|another video]] (in a different shirt, suggesting he woke up in the early afternoon) where he again referred to The Wallflower by her pen name, and literally begged her to sleep with him because his life was so hard, and otherwise he would have to pay $100 for sex with a hooker. The fact that at no point did he say anything along the lines of "Ignore the trolls" suggests that, ultimately, Wallflower finding out about the CWCki was not why she broke contact with him. Especially so when you consider that the video was about him singing about how he hates her boyfriend despite knowing nothing about him.

In the [[Surfshack Tito Emails]], Chris is mocked by Tito claiming to have had sex with the Wallflower. While Chris was initially incredulous, in a [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|later video]] he expressed outrage at Tito for "taking her from [him]", implying that he believes that the Wallflower is involved with Tito in some capacity.

==Anonymity==
Originally, this article intruded into parts of the Wallflower's life that had nothing to do with Chris, prompting her to request that the article be reworked to refer to her under a pseudonym and avoid direct references to her personal life and identity. The CWCki's administrators reasonably agreed.

Chris is convinced that this change took place because of the angry threats he made in his video of 10 March 2010, when in fact it had nothing to do with him. The changes to this page led him to believe that he could insist on sweeping edits to many other pages, which he listed in the 14 March 2010 Captain's Log update on the CWCipedia. Those demands were ignored.

Despite his (for once successful) attempts at having her docs removed from the internet, Chris continually drops her first name and pen-name in his videos, including [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|one]] which [[Fail|has it in the title]].

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do6CczCBplA Tribute]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Wallflower}}
{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}

The Wallflower

2010-03-21T00:58:12Z

Psycatalyst: moralfag vandalism

{{Ongoing}}
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|Shit Was Soo Cash! The Wallflower also went to [[Clyde Cash]]!]]

"'''The Wallflower'''" aka '''Damian Antaria''' is the heir to [[Megan Schroeder]], a female friend [[Chris]] met some time around early [[2010]]. She is one of the few girls Chris has managed to associate with in his post-high-school years who is not (as far as can be seen) a direct result of [[trolling]]. In [[March 2010]], she joined the long list of would-be [[sweetheart]]s with whom Chris has failed to lose his hated virginity.

Whether or not the Megan-esque ending of their relationship is actually to blame on the trolls or is a direct result of Chris being himself is unknown. There is evidence that the Wallflower has been made aware of the [[CWCki]], but given Chris's past record of making an absolute tit of himself in every way imaginable, it is not unrealistic to consider that Chris himself scared the Wallflower away with his pungent aroma of [[Chris and health#Hygiene|sweat]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]], and [[AXE]]. Nevertheless, Chris has taken it upon himself to blame those god damn trolls for destroying yet another chance at getting some [[china]].

==References by Chris==
Exactly when Chris first met her is not clear. While he has jumped at the chance to advertise his involvement with some of his other women friends to the world, he has only made oblique, passing references to her. (Also, less information has been forthcoming about this particular sweetheart than some because unlike, say, [[PandaHalo]], she isn't actively leaking every detail of her communications with Chris to fellow trolls.)

The first signs of Chris's involvement with the Wallflower showed up in late January 2010. In [[Mailbag 46]], answered on 26 January 2010, Chris claimed to have joined a "Young Adult Social Group" and "met a lovely woman there who likes me too; we are hitting it off like two hip wallflowers." Around the same time, in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3]] (which took place on 30 January), Chris said he was expecting a phone call that may have been from her.

In the 14 February 2010 edition of the [[CWC Blog]], Chris declared that "currently, my girl friend and I are getting along great; the relationship is progressing. I only ask for y'all to leave me with my relationship, and not make me feel intruded by inquiring constantly." When a correspondent in [[Mailbag 56]] challenged Chris to prove the existence of his new "girl friend," Chris replied "She does exist, and I do not appreciate your tone at all."

In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris mentioned that he had met up and had sex with his future wife, [[Lovely Weather]] in a page that was uploaded 9 December 2009. As it was considered unusual for Chris to write about an entirely fictional sweetheart, it's possible that Lovely Weather was based on this person.

It's not clear how far the relationship actually "progressed," however. Chris, we can be certain, had designs on a physical relationship with her from the start. He has no truck with the notion of "[[Friend zone|just friends]]." The Wallflower may have felt otherwise, which could explain Chris's angry remarks on the subject of the "friend zone" in the [[Common Questions#15_January_2010|15 January 2010]] edition of the Mailbag. His [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!|abject plea to her]] from 14 March supports this supposition — in that video, Chris says that while they were acquainted, she told him she wasn't interested in a boyfriend. However, he implied that she was now thinking of dating some other guy, making it quite likely that she used "not interested in a boyfriend" as a polite way of turning Chris down. It's far more polite than "Fuck no, you disgusting freak."

==Breakup?==
[[File:The link.jpg|thumb|How to troll both Chris and his trolls in one simple step.]]
When it was found out that Chris had a possibly non-troll gal-pal, most of the trolls agreed that the best course of action was to let the events play out on their own and have her find out herself what a [[Chris and Race|racist]], [[Sex|sexist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Monthly Tugboat|lazy]], [[Health|unhygienic]], [[Ego|narcissistic]], [[Hypocrisy|hypocritical]], [[naive]], and overall [[The Creepy Stare|creepy]] manchild Chris was. Despite this, one troll decided to fuck it all up and link her to the CWCki.

On 10 March 2010, Chris released [[A message to the Trolls]]. Emotionally distraught, he speaks in vague terms about troll interference in his life, and of the pains of a broken heart. At the same time, in a [[Cwc_blog|Captain's Log]] entry on the CWCipedia, Chris mentioned "BREAK-UPS FROM BEING EVEN SIMPLY FRIENDS WITH ME", which presumably refers to her cutting off all contact with him.

In the wee hours of 11 March 2010, Chris released [[Don't Mess With Me|a second video]], mentioning a theoretical meeting between him and an imaginary [[Clyde Cash]]. He beats the shit out of himself and the air, pulls out a tiny little [[pocket knife]] and cuts the throat of his invisible enemy, making it seem as if he blames the loss of the Wallflower or some other troubles on his old nemesis Clyde.

On 14 March 2010, Chris uploaded a new video and appeared to shift the blame to another troll, [[Surfshack Tito]]. In between delivering [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|bizarre threats of violence]], Chris makes a resolution to "regain the love and trust and friendship" of his gal-pal. It is not clear why Chris believes he can accomplish this goal by donning a kilt, waving around a small knife, putting on a grotesque attempt at a Scottish accent, and generally presenting a hideous affront to the culture and people of an entire nation.

Later that same day, Chris made [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|another video]] (in a different shirt, suggesting he woke up in the early afternoon) where he again referred to The Wallflower by her pen name, and literally begged her to sleep with him because his life was so hard, and otherwise he would have to pay $100 for sex with a hooker. The fact that at no point did he say anything along the lines of "Ignore the trolls" suggests that, ultimately, Wallflower finding out about the CWCki was not why she broke contact with him. Especially so when you consider that the video was about him singing about how he hates her boyfriend despite knowing nothing about him.

In the [[Surfshack Tito Emails]], Chris is mocked by Tito claiming to have had sex with the Wallflower. While Chris was initially incredulous, in a [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|later video]] he expressed outrage at Tito for "taking her from [him]", implying that he believes that the Wallflower is involved with Tito in some capacity.

==Anonymity==
Originally, this article intruded into parts of the Wallflower's life that had nothing to do with Chris, prompting her to request that the article be reworked to refer to her under a pseudonym and avoid direct references to her personal life and identity. The CWCki's administrators reasonably agreed.

Chris is convinced that this change took place because of the angry threats he made in his video of 10 March 2010, when in fact it had nothing to do with him. The changes to this page led him to believe that he could insist on sweeping edits to many other pages, which he listed in the 14 March 2010 Captain's Log update on the CWCipedia. Those demands were ignored.

Despite his (for once successful) attempts at having her docs removed from the internet, Chris continually drops her first name and pen-name in his videos, including [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|one]] which [[Fail|has it in the title]].

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do6CczCBplA Tribute]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Wallflower}}
{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}

User:Psycatalyst

2010-03-15T07:37:17Z

Psycatalyst: Created page with '{{Americunt}}'

The Wallflower

2010-03-15T07:34:01Z

Psycatalyst: Pic provided as request by /cwc/

----
{{Ongoing}}

[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|right|Shit Was Soo Cash! The Wallflower also went to [[Clyde Cash]]!]]
"'''The Wallflower'''" aka Damian Antaria is the heir to [[Megan Schroeder]], a female friend Chris met some time around early 2010. She is one of the few girls Chris has managed to associate with in his post-high-school years who is not (as far as can be seen) a direct result of trolling. In March 2010, she joined the long list of would-be sweethearts with whom Chris has failed to lose his hated virginity.

Whether or not the Megan-esque ending of their relationship is actually to blame on the trolls or is a direct result of Chris being himself is unknown. There is evidence that the Wallflower has been made aware of the [[CWCki]], but given Chris's past record of making an absolute tit of himself in every way imaginable, it is not unrealistic to consider that Chris himself scared the Wallflower away with his pungent aroma of [[Chris and health#Hygiene|sweat]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]], and [[AXE]]. Nevertheless, Chris has taken it upon himself to blame those god damn trolls for destroying yet another chance at getting some [[china]].

==References by Chris==
Exactly when Chris first met her is not clear. While he has jumped at the chance to advertise his involvement with some of his other women friends to the world, he has only made oblique, passing references to her. (Also, less information has been forthcoming about this particular sweetheart than some because unlike, say, [[PandaHalo]], she isn't actively leaking every detail of her communications with Chris to fellow trolls.)

The first signs of Chris's involvement with the Wallflower showed up in late January 2010. In [[Mailbag 46]], answered on 26 January 2010, Chris claimed to have joined a "Young Adult Social Group" and "met a lovely woman there who likes me too; we are hitting it off like two hip wallflowers." Around the same time, in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3]] (which took place on 30 January), Chris said he was expecting a phone call that may have been from her.

In the 14 February 2010 edition of the [[CWC Blog]], Chris declared that "currently, my girl friend and I are getting along great; the relationship is progressing. I only ask for y'all to leave me with my relationship, and not make me feel intruded by inquiring constantly." When a correspondent in [[Mailbag 56]] challenged Chris to prove the existence of his new "girl friend," Chris replied "She does exist, and I do not appreciate your tone at all."

In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris mentioned that he had met up and had sex with his future wife, [[Lovely Weather]] in a page that was uploaded 9 December 2009. As it was considered unusual for Chris to write about an entirely fictional sweetheart, it's possible that Lovely Weather was based on this person.

It's not clear how far the relationship actually "progressed," however. Chris, we can be certain, had designs on a physical relationship with her from the start. He has no truck with the notion of "[[Friend zone|just friends]]." The Wallflower may have felt otherwise, which could explain Chris's angry remarks on the subject of the "friend zone" in the [[Common Questions#15_January_2010|15 January 2010]] edition of the Mailbag. His [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!|abject plea to her]] from 14 March supports this supposition — in that video, Chris says that while they were acquainted, she told him she wasn't interested in a boyfriend. However, he implied that she was now thinking of dating some other guy, making it quite likely that she used "not interested in a boyfried" as a polite way of turning Chris down. It's far more polite than "Fuck no, you disgusting freak."

==Breakup?==
[[File:The link.jpg|thumb|How to troll both Chris and his trolls in one simple step.]]
When it was found out that Chris had a possibly non-troll gal-pal, most of the trolls agreed that the best course of action was to let the events play out on their own and have her find out herself what a [[Chris and Race|racist]], [[Sex|sexist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Monthly Tugboat|lazy]], [[Health|unhygienic]], [[Ego|narcissistic]], [[Hypocrisy|hypocritical]], [[naive]], and overall [[The Creepy Stare|creepy]] manchild Chris was. Despite this, one troll decided to fuck it all up and link her to the CWCki.

On 10 March 2010, Chris released [[A message to the Trolls]]. Emotionally distraught, he speaks in vague terms about troll interference in his life, and of the pains of a broken heart. At the same time, in a [[Cwc_blog|Captain's Log]] entry on the CWCipedia, Chris mentioned "BREAK-UPS FROM BEING EVEN SIMPLY FRIENDS WITH ME", which presumably refers to her cutting off all contact with him.

In the wee hours of 11 March 2010, Chris released [[Don't Mess With Me|a second video]], mentioning a theoretical meeting between him and an imaginary [[Clyde Cash]]. He beats the shit out of himself and the air, pulls out a tiny little [[pocket knife]] and cuts the throat of his invisible enemy, making it seem as if he blames the loss of the Wallflower or some other troubles on his old nemesis Clyde.

On 14 March 2010, Chris uploaded a new video and appeared to shift the blame to another troll, [[Surfshack Tito]]. In between delivering [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|bizarre threats of violence]], Chris makes a resolution to "regain the love and trust and friendship" of his gal-pal. It is not clear why Chris believes he can accomplish this goal by donning a kilt, waving around a small knife, putting on a grotesque attempt at a Scottish accent, and generally presenting a hideous affront to the culture and people of an entire nation.

Later that same day, Chris made [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|another video]] (in a different shirt, suggesting he woke up in the early afternoon) where he again referred to The Wallflower by her pen name, and literally begged her to sleep with him because his life was so hard, and otherwise he would have to pay $100 for sex with a hooker.

==Anonymity==
Originally, this article intruded into parts of the Wallflower's life that had nothing to do with Chris, prompting her to request that the article be reworked to refer to her under a pseudonym and avoid direct references to her personal life and identity. The CWCki's administrators reasonably agreed.

Chris is convinced that this change took place because of the angry threats he made in his video of 10 March 2010, when in fact it had nothing to do with him. The changes to this page led him to believe that he could insist on sweeping edits to many other pages, which he listed in the 14 March 2010 Captain's Log update on the CWCipedia. Those demands were ignored.

Despite his (for once successful) attempts at having her docs removed from the internet, Chris continually drops her first name and pen-name in his videos, including [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|one]] which [[Fail|has it in the title]].

{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}

The Wallflower

2010-03-15T07:30:41Z

Psycatalyst:

----
{{Ongoing}}

[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|right|Shit Was Soo Cash! The Wallflower also went to Clyde!]]
"'''The Wallflower'''" aka Damian Antaria is the heir to [[Megan Schroeder]], a female friend Chris met some time around early 2010. She is one of the few girls Chris has managed to associate with in his post-high-school years who is not (as far as can be seen) a direct result of trolling. In March 2010, she joined the long list of would-be sweethearts with whom Chris has failed to lose his hated virginity.

Whether or not the Megan-esque ending of their relationship is actually to blame on the trolls or is a direct result of Chris being himself is unknown. There is evidence that the Wallflower has been made aware of the [[CWCki]], but given Chris's past record of making an absolute tit of himself in every way imaginable, it is not unrealistic to consider that Chris himself scared the Wallflower away with his pungent aroma of [[Chris and health#Hygiene|sweat]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]], and [[AXE]]. Nevertheless, Chris has taken it upon himself to blame those god damn trolls for destroying yet another chance at getting some [[china]].

==References by Chris==
Exactly when Chris first met her is not clear. While he has jumped at the chance to advertise his involvement with some of his other women friends to the world, he has only made oblique, passing references to her. (Also, less information has been forthcoming about this particular sweetheart than some because unlike, say, [[PandaHalo]], she isn't actively leaking every detail of her communications with Chris to fellow trolls.)

The first signs of Chris's involvement with the Wallflower showed up in late January 2010. In [[Mailbag 46]], answered on 26 January 2010, Chris claimed to have joined a "Young Adult Social Group" and "met a lovely woman there who likes me too; we are hitting it off like two hip wallflowers." Around the same time, in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3]] (which took place on 30 January), Chris said he was expecting a phone call that may have been from her.

In the 14 February 2010 edition of the [[CWC Blog]], Chris declared that "currently, my girl friend and I are getting along great; the relationship is progressing. I only ask for y'all to leave me with my relationship, and not make me feel intruded by inquiring constantly." When a correspondent in [[Mailbag 56]] challenged Chris to prove the existence of his new "girl friend," Chris replied "She does exist, and I do not appreciate your tone at all."

In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris mentioned that he had met up and had sex with his future wife, [[Lovely Weather]] in a page that was uploaded 9 December 2009. As it was considered unusual for Chris to write about an entirely fictional sweetheart, it's possible that Lovely Weather was based on this person.

It's not clear how far the relationship actually "progressed," however. Chris, we can be certain, had designs on a physical relationship with her from the start. He has no truck with the notion of "[[Friend zone|just friends]]." The Wallflower may have felt otherwise, which could explain Chris's angry remarks on the subject of the "friend zone" in the [[Common Questions#15_January_2010|15 January 2010]] edition of the Mailbag. His [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!|abject plea to her]] from 14 March supports this supposition — in that video, Chris says that while they were acquainted, she told him she wasn't interested in a boyfriend. However, he implied that she was now thinking of dating some other guy, making it quite likely that she used "not interested in a boyfried" as a polite way of turning Chris down. It's far more polite than "Fuck no, you disgusting freak."

==Breakup?==
[[File:The link.jpg|thumb|How to troll both Chris and his trolls in one simple step.]]
When it was found out that Chris had a possibly non-troll gal-pal, most of the trolls agreed that the best course of action was to let the events play out on their own and have her find out herself what a [[Chris and Race|racist]], [[Sex|sexist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Monthly Tugboat|lazy]], [[Health|unhygienic]], [[Ego|narcissistic]], [[Hypocrisy|hypocritical]], [[naive]], and overall [[The Creepy Stare|creepy]] manchild Chris was. Despite this, one troll decided to fuck it all up and link her to the CWCki.

On 10 March 2010, Chris released [[A message to the Trolls]]. Emotionally distraught, he speaks in vague terms about troll interference in his life, and of the pains of a broken heart. At the same time, in a [[Cwc_blog|Captain's Log]] entry on the CWCipedia, Chris mentioned "BREAK-UPS FROM BEING EVEN SIMPLY FRIENDS WITH ME", which presumably refers to her cutting off all contact with him.

In the wee hours of 11 March 2010, Chris released [[Don't Mess With Me|a second video]], mentioning a theoretical meeting between him and an imaginary [[Clyde Cash]]. He beats the shit out of himself and the air, pulls out a tiny little [[pocket knife]] and cuts the throat of his invisible enemy, making it seem as if he blames the loss of the Wallflower or some other troubles on his old nemesis Clyde.

On 14 March 2010, Chris uploaded a new video and appeared to shift the blame to another troll, [[Surfshack Tito]]. In between delivering [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|bizarre threats of violence]], Chris makes a resolution to "regain the love and trust and friendship" of his gal-pal. It is not clear why Chris believes he can accomplish this goal by donning a kilt, waving around a small knife, putting on a grotesque attempt at a Scottish accent, and generally presenting a hideous affront to the culture and people of an entire nation.

Later that same day, Chris made [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|another video]] (in a different shirt, suggesting he woke up in the early afternoon) where he again referred to The Wallflower by her pen name, and literally begged her to sleep with him because his life was so hard, and otherwise he would have to pay $100 for sex with a hooker.

==Anonymity==
Originally, this article intruded into parts of the Wallflower's life that had nothing to do with Chris, prompting her to request that the article be reworked to refer to her under a pseudonym and avoid direct references to her personal life and identity. The CWCki's administrators reasonably agreed.

Chris is convinced that this change took place because of the angry threats he made in his video of 10 March 2010, when in fact it had nothing to do with him. The changes to this page led him to believe that he could insist on sweeping edits to many other pages, which he listed in the 14 March 2010 Captain's Log update on the CWCipedia. Those demands were ignored.

Despite his (for once successful) attempts at having her docs removed from the internet, Chris continually drops her first name and pen-name in his videos, including [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|one]] which [[Fail|has it in the title]].

{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}

Talk:The Wallflower

2010-03-15T04:16:02Z

Psycatalyst:

Okay faggots, listen up. No personal details. Ever. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:14, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*Gotcha. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 01:18, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**Am I missing something here? Didn't Chris just inform us that this girl is no longer interested in him, with Message to the Trolls? So why are we locking down details about her now, when EDF can do no more damage? Or is there more to this?--[[User:Sonichuistehcool|Sonichuistehcool]] 01:22, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
***I'm sure that she got some sort of email/phone call, but we don't know enough about her or the situation to assume that she's fully out of the picture. Until then, it's better to have less info than too much info. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 01:24, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
Some explanation please? I mean, all the other galpal articles have info, what happened here? [[User:Dave|Dave]]
*i have received a message from wallflower herself asking for her info to be removed. while i'd rather not remove any information, at the same time, the article was focusing on personal details about the wallflower that weren't at all related to chris. since i'd rather avoid any trouble here, i've complied with her request. this new article should be used purely for chris-related information, since she is part of christory. if chris uploads information, then you can add it here, but don't add anything you found through internet investigation or whatever. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 01:28, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
** A'ight, but can we have a background on the story on cwcki? You know, what happened for them to break up and stuff. [[User:Loserbrain|Loserbrain]] 01:29, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*** There's no break up as far as I know. But I'm sure something must have happened between yesterday and today. We can document the drama but be vague. Example: Dedicated trolls found her information and then Chris got mad. Real mad. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:38, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****Does this mean all the sweetheart pages are going to be changed? -PeaceCeapPea
*****Most of the sweethearts were trolls. Megan avoid this site like rape, so I don't think we need to worry about it. [[User:Loserbrain|Loserbrain]] 02:32, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*Why are we doing this? Didn't Megan ask us for her dox to be taken off the internet? How do we know the message wasn't sent by a troll or a white knight?--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 02:12, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**Have you seen the latest video from Chris? He found the CWCki. I guess "WallFlower" used Google. Another thing; Chris volunteered the info we got on him. She dint. We dint passed the Dox of other sweethearts or made fun of them as we did with her. Just for this, It had to be removed. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:29, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*My apologies for deleting this page this page. I just woke up and I was confused about what the fuck was going on. I thought some faggot thought Chris was talking about two different girls. I absolutely agree with Cogs one hundred percent, if Wallflower requested this page to be taken down, I think that's a humble request given that the article was a threat to her wellbeing. It's not so much trying to cover our asses, I really can understand that the Wallflower (unlike Megan, who really didn't have much of an online presence) would have trolls be a very real threat and unlike Chris, she probably doesn't feed off negative attention.
:I regret that I did not address the dox in the pages. I really wasn't a big fan of having her Facebook, MySpace, etc. profile on there, aside from Chris related issues, mostly because we don't do the same thing for Megan and we shouldn't encourage faggots trolling Chris related people who have little to do with Chris.
:I think one lesson from this is we need to discuss some sort of privacy policy for CWCki. A less brash version of Clyde's dictum is that we should possibly treat pages about people only from the Chris universe perspective, that is how Chris views them and sees them as opposed to digging into personal details from online investigations. But yeah, people, let's not do shit like post MySpaces, Facebooks, and don't post people's personal information unless Chris posts it on the Internet for everyone to see. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:46, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Seems fair enough. There was, in retrospect, no hope of keeping a lid on this whole thing, I think, no matter how much or how little personal info got posted here - as soon as her given name got out there, it was inevitable that some goof was gonna link her to this or to the ED page or to the sex doll video or whatever else. But that seems like a good policy for simple decency's sake. I apologize for getting carried away with all the links on the page yesterday. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 12:59, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

*I think the wording of this article should be more explicit as to how and what kind of idiot it was that contacted her over all this. I mean most EDF retards won't read krapple or PVCC etc. but they do read the Cwcki, and it might help in the future to have here an example to hold up of what exactly happens when you go the JULAYYY route of trolling. [[User:Hurrrr2|Hurrrr2]] 02:37, 11 March 2010 (UTC) 02:36, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

**Who cares about it, it seems something else is stirring within Chris. Guess he still has it out for me. Hmph. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:57, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

***I think we ought to be more careful with the information we post here. Most if not all CWCki contributors are either on /cwc/ or PVCC, but the readers are partially dumbasses (not just from EDF, I presume) who will fuck shit up. Yes, it's a shame this happens, but ultimately we are to blame here. It was very obvious the CWCki article on her would lead to someone contacting her. Documenting information is important, but perhaps there should be some articles protected from viewing? I don't know. --[[User:Wtv|Wtv]] 10:48, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*combine with the sonichu crystals to the [Wallflower] page?? [[user:I_Love_Little_Girls|I Love Little Girls]] 10:23, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::no they want that page gone, that's why it's over here without any references to her personally. --[[User:Digital|Digital]] 11:03, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::oh, i see. whatevss [[user:I_Love_Little_Girls|I Love Little Girls]] 11:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*Yeah, I thought the same thing so don't feel bad. tl;dr is that Wallflower asked for it to be removed and Cogs complied, because it was a reasonable request. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:31, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

*Wow, now we turned into Moralfags and we are going to censor trolling, for the sake of the trolls who already know who she is. Also, it is not that difficult to do a fucking google search and found everything there is to found about this girl, so this is just stupid. If you had any respect in the first place for any of the friends or family of chris chan you would not have all the information you have on them all over the page, and that's not the case, so for what I can see here this is a very hypocritical position, or this is just part of a trolling plan.--[[User:SGSS01|SGSS01]] 10:04, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:One, we're not Moralfags.
Two, the dox was removed by her request.
Three, if we put the dox back up, she could net us some downtime for invading her privacy and personal life.
So fuck off. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 21:18, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::Taking down the page because we put information already publicly available on the internet?, lulz, let her send in detectives, send in police, send everything in her power!. I'm sorry but that's not a valid reason, we have personal information about a lot of persons, and many of those don't even use the internet, or is information we got from hacked mail accounts (Cole), and fuck, he really could take the site down just for that, and we still have his article.--[[User:SGSS01|SGSS01]] 03:32, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:::There's a legal liability out there. Chris says most of what he wants. If he sue the site for libel, he will lose since all the material here mostly came from his own (dirty) hands. Wallflower on the other side came from nowhere and the tone used to describe her was quite unflattering. Keeping Wallflower previous page on line would had brought to this site much trouble (including legal ones) so it was wise to shut it down. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:46, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:::* What about the things that were coerced from him? Do those fall under acceptable use or not?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:12, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:We can put name what is she going to do? Chris reveal her name. We are NOT moralfags. If its on the internet its public information (as long as it is not credit card numbers, passwords, or SSN) we are just data mining. --[[User:Psycatalyst|Psycatalyst]] 21:30, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::Any troll can go data-mining. We are not trolls, we are Christorians; Holy scribes monitoring the advent and life of the "Messiah Of Fail". It is in our upmost interest to play nice. How many of us would salivate over an e-mail of five lines from Megan ranting about Chris? Let's be nice to the Wallflower; she might bring us something great in the future. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:53, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
==Srsly though...==
To improve the article:
# Wallflower really isn't a sweetheart. Nothing public about this yet but as most of you can tell, she's more or less Megan - because she has managed to be around Chris for more than five seconds, Chris takes this to mean sexual interest and a serious relationship.
# We need a pic of a Wallflower. Like, literally, a flower growing out of a wall. Not a drawn pic, but an actual photograph. Shouldn't be too hard to fine, just don't feel like it now. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:31, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|center]]
Here you go a photo of what resembles Heather with Clyde Cash --[[User:Psycatalyst|Psycatalyst]] 04:16, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

==Pimp Claim Responsibility==

This bloke known on YouTube as "ThyEnvysGreed" claim he's the one who [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRr-N5_V_9s alerted wallflower]. What should we do with this faggot? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:33, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
* It's possible the guy's full of shit and just taking credit for something. Going by the comments 'they' have been making, this is quite likely; his 'group' seems to be out to make a name for themselves rather than just have a laugh at Chris's expense. Aside from that, just do what everyone seems to be doing already; spam his comments informing him of what a massive prick he is and that he should lay off the fucking donuts. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 16:51, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:*This. Seriously, guys, let's not give credit to faggots who want attention. Damage is done, we need to move on. Besides [[CWCki:CWCki_is#CWCki_is_about_Chris|CWCki is about Chris]], not so much faggots like this. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:12, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**I agree with the comment spamming, just piledrive him into the dirt. He fucked up an opportunity for some awesome shit. I would understand if he were trying to get a laugh out of messing with Chris, but he's just looking for e-fame. I say we don't give him that much attention unless it's totally negative.--[[User:JRampancy|JRampancy]] 16:54, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
***I'll need to find the picture I saw on /cwc/, but he also had an account on Fanfiction.net and I think that's how he alerted her, since I don't think they allow anonymous reviews anymore. And it was the same screen name.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 17:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****Well gentlemen, I believe it's time to do what we do best. IT'S TROLLING TIME, LADS.[[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 17:36, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*Faggot deleted it. Did anyone save it? '''[[User:Odettafag|blind justice.]]''' [[User talk:Odettafag|to each his own.]] 18:11, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
** [http://rs336.rapidshare.com/files/362046356/whatafuckingtard.flv It's right there] [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:02, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*** Thanks! '''[[User:Odettafag|blind justice.]]''' [[User talk:Odettafag|to each his own.]] 19:05, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
He's a troll, you guys. Attention will only make him stronger unless we find his house (which is unlikely). Until someone can dox him, the best course of action is to ignore him, depriving him of his e-fame. Bonus points if fifty different accounts simultaneously claim that they're the ones who pissed off Wallflower so nobody takes his claims seriously.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:24, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
***I can't believe he tucked tail and ran away so quickly. He did post on [[A message to the Trolls]] which is still there for the viewing. [[User:Meeko|Meeko]] 20:54, 11 March 2010 (UTC)meeko
***There's also a message in [[Don't Mess With Me]], still in plain view and for all to see. He's like The Pinch - a coward who wants e-fame. Pure and simple.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 21:07, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*He destroyed your guy's plans to get drama out of a guy! Oh no. Just calm down. Seriously, it's not a big deal. [[User:Chaosakita|Chaosakita]] 05:42, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:* It is. Chris is the most interesting when conversing with "normal" people - especially women. --[[User:Derpalerp|Derpalerp]] 08:28, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

** I found anothe possible leaker on twitter he/she says and I quote "Sonichuproducts @CWCSonichu I dare your faggot ass to do a curse ya fuck yo momma or whatever it is on me, I told Heather you dirty Retarded bitch."

could it be a lead or just an attention seeking fag?--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 23:17, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

==Now that Chris has dropped her name...==
Is it ok to mention her first name on this page?--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 15:41, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
*You have a point, and I see the logic, but I think the whole point of removing her name was sending a message to the rest of the trolls (and the external observers) that we are actually decent people. To go back on that would be to lose a social lead which is more valuable than the person's name. Again, this is just what I think. Feel free to prove me wrong. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 15:59, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
*But there is no point in hiding her name, the problem with his page was the loads of information about her, not related to Chris, and since Chris mentioned her name; her name, her relation to Chris and anything Chris related shall be posted here, no more info about her. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 16:05, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:*You make a fair point, however given that Chris 1) assumes that it's a video only Tito will watch (forgetting that public YouTube videos are, you know, public) and 2) he's retarded like that, the thought that mentioning her name again probably didn't cross his mind. However, Wallflower asked us nicely to remove her page and adding her name back would sort of violate the spirit of that agreement. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:56, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::* I understand, but then, should we censor part of the kilt video when Chris says her name?, of course, keeping a copy of the original, and linking it on the page, and replacing her name with the pseudonym in the transcript. Better safe than sorry.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 17:31, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*In my opinion, censoring the material would only draw more attention to the Wallflower's identity. People would start looking at the stuff that has been deliberately removed and get more and more curious and try to find it. Especially if we have a copy of video with the name bleeped or transcript with the name removed, while Chris has the actual video up on his own account. My idea would be ''not'' to cover her identity specifically (which this article already does that), but if Chris keeps rambling about it, there's little we can really do. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 17:53, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::::* But this page, as well as the LittleBigPlanet one reference the wallflower's name and her likes, is not really hard to find her anyways.By the way, someone already censored it in the kilt video.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 18:24, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::* It would be nice if someone contact Wallflower and tells her that Chris keep on yelling her name on the internet while wearing a dress. I am concerned with all this. A well-determined Grieffer can still reach her because the manchild can't keep his pie-hole shut.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:59, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::**I've sent two messages to her on Facebook and she hasn't responded yet. Also, PVCC isn't telling us something--Scarlet/Kim/Emily knows Heather, according to Chris.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:38, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::***Interesting twist. In this case, our best option is to lie down and wait for the PVCC to make their moves. They always bring the best Lulz. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:32, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
No. The CWCki needs to be smart about this kind of thing. When a person is angry about Chris's antics and actively asks the CWCki to take their information down, that person should be respected. It's fine to document Chris's antics that he publicly puts online, but Wallflower did not ask to be a part of Chris's online life and has specifically tried to distance herself from all this. For that matter, I'm of the opinion that if Megan ever came to the CWCki and asked to have materials taken down or hidden, it should be done, too. Same goes for Bob, Barb or anyone else who has not deliberately made themselves a part of Chris's online life. If a person deliberately makes themselves a part of Chris's online life, then their "details" are a fair thing to put up. If they are trying as hard as they can to get away from Chris's online life, then their "details" should be respected. The CWCki needs to be wise when it comes to liabilities. It is one thing to put up Chris's funny antics that he's made known publicly. It is another thing to put up unnecessary personal details of a person who has never asked to associate with Chris in a public way. Besides, all said and done, there's no need to document her name or her personal information to track Chris's stupid antics. It doesn't make Chris's antics any more funny. This brings up a great debate for the CWCki though: how far is too far? For me, I would hope there are limits. This is not a "lulz" site. [[User:Elephant|Elephant]] 20:28, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

:::My two cents is adding first name is ok since he mentioned it and it is an unspecific referential index, which means it is vague. I don't see a problem with putting their names online since you can get records with their names on it from realtors, department of elections, white pages, or the city accessor's office for free. We should put in Damian Antaria and Heather into the article since Chris mentioned it. The CWCki '''Only''' records encounters with Chris not personal information such as SSN or credit card numbers. By your logic we would have to take down the site if Chris makes the request which is NOT going to happen. The CWCki site is only recording what Chris is doing. If anyone is to be held liable it is Chris for revealing the information. For example: ''When Scooter Libby leaked info on Valerie Plame the CIA agent to the New York Times, the New York Times did not get in trouble'' If trolls wanted to find the information they would with or without the CWCki. --[[User:Psycatalyst|Psycatalyst]] 20:52, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

Personally, I support her name not neing intentionally added here. I do, however, think it is stupid to try to hide her name intentionally. I think we should refer to her as the Wallflower, but if Chris says it in a video, merely changing it in the transcript is not only ineffective, it is annoying. If he presents the information, it takes 2 seconds to watch the video and hear the name. We let it stay in the transcripts merely for the sake of flow, but then we don't call her by that name anywhere else. I think that will give everyone pretty much what they want, as her name is not spread and her info is not known, but it isn't an eyesore to read and I don't have to be constantly reminded that I'm not supposed to know her name.
Tl;dr: Hiding the name on purpose is futile and, in a selfish light, detracts from my experience (which I rail against with full force). Don't take it out of what he says, but don't put it up elsewhere. That also means that the people who missed all this won't go insane trying to find info. Meh, my idea sucks, but I'll put it out there. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 21:44, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
* I agree that it's easy to put the information together; if you Google up the information that Chris has given, you can find her easily. I think we should do more or less as you've said- present exactly what Chris says and not link the two together. Anyone who is really confused can look it up. It's no less confusing to a newb, IMO, than the articles that refer to Chris as "Ian" and Liquid as "Chris". [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 00:21, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
Flibel

2010-03-11T08:23:47Z

Psycatalyst: /* Transcript */