CWCki - User contributions [en]

Pickle

2017-08-24T04:14:35Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank:

{{Honest}}
[[Image:Chrisreply3.PNG|center]]

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image: PickleGIFImage.gif|100px]]</div>

{{quote|[[stress sigh|Sigh]], can we not talk about pickles, please?|[[Chris]] - [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]]}}
[[Image:201-SchuAqua.jpg|thumb|Pickles are Sonichu's greatest enemy. Also, look at how Chris spells [[Wikipedia:Sbarro|Sbarro]].]]

'''Pickle''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for "penis," typically in the context of [[JERKS|another man's penis rather]] than [[Chris]]'s own, which he usually refers to as his "[[duck]]". He and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (because he's a [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]]) both hate other people's penises due to Chris's intense [[Chris and sex|sexual]] [[homos|insecurity]], to the point that they both literally hate pickled cucumbers.

Chris is easily provoked by fanart suggesting that [[Rosechu]] has a penis, although it is difficult for him to retaliate since that would require him to actually look at the dreaded vegetable. Coincidentally, one of Chris's most notorious enemies is [[the Man in the Pickle Suit]] who has frequently tricked him into, among other things, releasing photos of his own pickle.

Possibly due to troll usage of the term, Chris made fewer references to pickles in [[2009]] and even fewer afterward, though he still occasionally referred to his picklephobia in works such as [[Sonichu Special 1]]. Despite this, their strong association with Chris in the earliest days of his internet fame has made them an enduring feature of troll artwork and conversation.

==Pickled cucumbers==
[[File:Tickle His Pickle.jpg|thumb|120px|left|An ideal [[C-Mas]] gift for [[gal-pals]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|of all teenages]].]]
[[Image:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|150px|When you see it you'll [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit bricks]].]]

{{quote|They taste terrible, and they look like dicks; even more disgusting.|Chris, answering a troll's email regarding pickles<ref>[[Mailbag 4#Why Chris hates Pickles]]</ref>}}

Aside from his hatred of metaphorical pickles, it is also well-documented that Chris has a long-standing aversion to the delicious cucumbers pickled in brine, going as far back to some of the earlier material documented in his [[scrapbook]]. Receipts from the [[Ohio trip]] in search of [[Julie]] show that he specifically orders his fast-food hamburgers without pickles. Even the mere image of a pickle bothers him--the picklish ad banners placed on the [[CWCipedia]] in [[November 2009]] provoked an angry response.

Whether this is because pickles remind him, even when sliced and under the bun of a sandwich, of cocks, or whether he simply [[Autism|has an aversion to foods with a strong taste or smell]], remains to be seen. Considering his [[Chris and Health#Nutrition|diet]], pickles may simply be too much flavor for a man who has notoriously [[Family Guy|bland]] tastes to handle. [[April 16 Fetish Vids#Fanta:_Semen_Flavor|Then again...]]

==References to pickles==
{{quote|I hate pickles.|[[Chris]] - [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]]}}

[[Image:Rosechupickels.jpg|thumb|left|Rosechu brutally face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] afterward... for throwing a pickle.]]
[[Image:Picklecat.png|thumb|IF I SEE ONE MORE FRICKIN' PICKLE...]]

Chris's virulent hatred of pickles was one of the first weaknesses discovered by [[trolls]], all the way back in the fall of 2007. When the [[4chan]] artist [[Evan]] contacted Chris with a collection of "fan art" drawn by denizens of /v/ — in which, 4chan being 4chan, images of Rosechu with a penis figured prominently — Chris memorably replied "Rosechu IS A GIRL; SHE NEVER HAD A FREAKIN' PICKLE!!!!"

Since then, Chris has made a number of references to pickles in his comics and [[YouTube]] videos, partly on his own and partly due to trollish instigation.

*In his [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, Chris makes several references to pickles, albeit in the context of his enemy, the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].
*He also blamed the Pickle Man for his woes in his video of [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|21 October 2008]].
*Towards the end of 2008, when Chris still believed that the #sonichu [[IRC]] channel was home to [[Fanbase|his TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]], the channel was set up at his behest to kick any chatters who used the word "pickle."
*The "slander ray" wielded by the comic-book villain [[Clyde Cash|Cly]] in [[Sonichu Special 1]] resembles a pickle with a gun barrel attached to one end.
*Chris's nemesis, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], declares "Go and play with your pickle!" before throwing a pickle at [[Rosechu]]. Her response is unwarranted, to say the least.
*In [[IRC_(24_October_2008)|the 24 October 2008 IRC chat]], Chris declares his fondness for "Double Cheeseburgers ... with no dill."
*Sonichu himself has hated pickles since as far back as [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], drawn long before Chris was ever trolled through his fear of pickles. There, our hero was frozen with terror after encountering pickles while dining with Rosechu at "Burger Krunch." The panel where this took place was later re-drawn as the "Sonichu & Aqua Teens" illustration. Chris would later on reveal that Sonichu has a literally paralyzing allergy to pickles.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Sonichu's kryptonite]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
[[Image:164889-ogorki.jpg|thumb|Picklechu]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[China]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Masturbating and squirtin']]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

DoopieDoOver

2017-08-11T06:36:23Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank:

{{Needs Updating}}
{{Ongoing}}
{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:DoopieDoOver.png|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |DoopieDoOver
|-
| '''Name'''
| Danielle Pitts<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-07-19-17-doopie-commission.32399/page-2#post-2438376</ref>
|-
| '''AKA'''
| Dani Willow
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 27 May 1994 (age {{Age|1994|5|27}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| American
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
|}

{{quote|"Is chris chan even real?"|Doopie asking an understandable question in a May 31, 2016 tweet<ref>https://twitter.com/DoopieDoOver/status/737793615259394049</ref>}}

{{quote|Darling|Chris, addressing Doopie. Repeatedly.<ref name=darling>[[July 2017 tweets]], [[July 2017 Patreon posts]]</ref>}}

'''Danielle Pitts''' (nicknamed "'''DoopieDoOver'''" or "'''Doopie'''") is a voice actress/animator for the [[Planet Dolan]] YouTube channels. She also offers drawings for sale. Chris appeared to consider her to be a [[gal pal]], whereas she thought of him as simply another customer. In August 2017, she blocked him after receiving negative attention from weens and getting creeped out by Chris's messages towards her.

== Prologue ==
[[File:Doopie react to cwc.png|thumb]]

Chris discovered the Planet Dolan channel in [[August 2016]] and took a liking to Doopie. He began frequently tweeting to her in 2017. His first message to Doopie was on 7 March 2017 when she tweeted about her Borderline Personality Disorder and how it's affected the way she interacts with others. Chris, [[Autism|having completely missed the point of the entire post]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh|having]] [[Jerkop|judged]] [[Adam Stackhouse|so]] [[Pmurt|many]] [[Michael Snyder|people]] [[Jimmy Hill|in]] [[Trolls|the]] [[Megan Schroeder|past]], felt somewhat empathetic for Doopie, and made a misguided attempt to make her feel better by comparing her mental disorder with a bunch of people she's never met on the internet<ref>[[2017 tweets#Empathizing with BPD]]</ref>.

His social awkwardness in full display, he has tweeted to her on the subjects of poop<ref>[[2017 tweets#Poop]]</ref>, his hatred of online dating<ref>[[May 2017 tweets#Ranting on online dating]]</ref>, and he has tried to hit on her by quoting his "I’m Done Adulting" ''My Little Pony'' T-shirt<ref>[[2017 tweets#Hitting on Doopie]]</ref>.

Doopie knew about Chris prior to him becoming obsessed with her. She occasionally made fun of him on Lazycast, a podcast series she co-hosts<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/08-03-2017-we-can-not-let-ourselves-be-blinded-impulsively.28939/page-5#post-2129294</ref>, as recently as March 2017.

Once Chris started actively tweeting to her, starting in the spring of 2017, she started off by ignoring his messages.

On 11 April, she liked one of his tweets sympathizing with her stance against animal cruelty<ref>[[2017 tweets#Animal cruelty]]</ref>. Eventually, on 21 April, she decided to converse with Chris when he asked about her newly dyed hair. A swarm of [[weens]] promptly descended on them, and Doopie found herself in the position of defending Chris<ref>[[2017 tweets#Doopie defends Chris]]</ref>.

In July, she explained her opinion on Chris, mentioning that he had commissioned her for art and pledged to her Patreon.

{{quotebox|I've been following the "Chris chan" saga since the beginning. I know everything that (s)he's done. And yeah, it's pretty shitty, but what other people have done to him/her as been pretty shitty too. I'm also just not the type of person to turn someone away when they're being nothing but kind to me. It may be a fake, it may be a show, but I'm not emotionally invested in this enough to really care.

(S)he's paid me to do a commission, and is a patron on my patreon, and as a woman of business, I'm going to treat him/her as every other commissioner and patron.<ref>[[July 2017 tweets#Doopie knows about Chris]]</ref>}}

== Art commissions ==
{{quote|I really had no choice. A paying customer is a paying customer, but I'm starting to regret it lol.|Doopie reacts to the fallout from being Chris's customer on 1 August 2017.<ref>https://twitter.com/DoopieDoOver/status/892484212145627136</ref>}}

Around 22 June 2017, Chris began to pledge on Doopie’s Patreon.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-7-12-chris-argues-with-a-fool.32246/page-6#post-2426664</ref>. He pledged at the $50 tier<ref>[[Doopie E-mails]]</ref> and received a sketch of Rosechu as one of the offered rewards<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/7-27-doopies-patreon-sketch-for-chris.32596/</ref>.

He also paid her $25 for a separate commission to serve as a profile picture and liked it so much that he switched his profile icon on [[Facebook]], [[YouTube]], [[Twitter]] and [[Patreon]] to it. Ever since Doopie has first shared the picture with Chris, the drawing has been subject to many [[Parody|parodies]] defacing Chris in the picture, either by redrawing him as he actually appears IRL or by replacing Chris with another person such as [[Liquid Chris]].

Chris began throwing that money at her in the midst of the [[Financhu Crisis]], and he quickly resorted to begging people on Facebook for the exact amount of money, claiming that he needed it to help him and his mother<ref>[[July 2017 tweets#Resuming begging]]</ref>.

<center><gallery>
Image:Doopiedrawing.jpg|$25 commission
File:DoopieDrawing2.jpg
File:Christine C.png|Reward for $25 Patreon pledge
</gallery></center>

=== Porn ===

[[File: PornRequest.png|thumb|The request in question]]

On 1 August 2017, Chris began pledging to KittenBell - a Patreon account set up by Doopie to handle porn requests, while continuing his pledge to her primary account. He suggested a drawing of two [[MLP]] characters depicted as lesbians "makin' out and fondling/fingering." <ref>[[August 2017 Patreon posts#Request for cartoon porn]]</ref> More than likely, Doopie will never work on the project, seeing how Doopie wishes to break all connections with Chris.

=="Darling"==
[[File:Fanartdoopiereact.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction of Doopie's reaction.]]

After becoming Doopie's customer, Chris began to refer to her as "darling" multiple times over Twitter and once on Doopie's Patreon<ref name=darling/>. He does it in spite of knowing that Doopie is not a [[boyfriend-free girl]], which he learned on 16 May through a Planet Dolan video in which she talked about the success she had at online dating<ref>[[May 2017 tweets#Ranting on online dating]]</ref>.

Opinion is divided on why Chris does this. Some think he believes Doopie is an attainable target for his [[love quest]], while others think that he is [[naive]] to how creepy he sounds and thinks "darling" is appropriate for a [[tomgirl]] to say in conversation. Chris has similarly used "dear" to address his mother<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 050012017-1]]</ref>, seemingly oblivious to the incestuous implications. Given that Chris has had sex dreams about his mother<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts]]</ref>, it might not bode well for his view of Doopie.

==Shot down==

{{quote|You don't know me, christine.|Doopie sets the record straight.<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Doopie sets the record straight]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Yes. I don't totally know you, but you are a good person; like all I've listed here, y'all are girls and at least acquaintances up to friends. And that, to me, counts as much, because I am thankful to have you all in my life and communication circle. 😊🌸 Also, another V.I.Detail., I Care. And I wear my heart on my sleeve. ❤️🤳🏻
|Chris' response.}}

On 1 August, 2017, Chris tagged Doopie in celebration of National Girlfriend Day, listing her among all of the gal-pals he's met on the internet and real life. The day is an occasion meant for female friends to celebrate their special bond<ref>https://nationaldaycalendar.com/national-girlfriends-day-august-1/</ref>. Chris—in his typical, completely non-extrospective, fashion—failed to realize how sad and creepy it was to include Doopie, someone he knew only online via a client-artist relationship. If that wasn't inappropriate enough, Chris's subsequent tweets further unveiled an attraction toward Doopie—which appeared much stronger than previously expected. Doopie immediately protested, stating the obvious fact that she was a stranger to Chris. Despite this clear and unambiguous response, Chris happily disregarded it. Only partially agreeing with her, Chris went on to imply that he must have known her a little bit because he knew she was a good person. Chris then expressed his appreciation for her being in his circle of friends (again, ignoring her previous declaration to the contrary). Once again, Chris demonstrates his almost complete lack of social awareness.

However, despite his implied romantic attraction towards her, Doopie, having already known who Chris is, took it unsurprisingly well and only seemed to mention his heart on his sleeve in her next reply. Doopie, showing disgust towards Chris' skewed ideas of empathy, begins to scold Chris on his donation of his own money he could have used to support himself and Barb during the [[Financhu Crisis]]. Doopie allowed Chris to claim a refund of his Patreon pledges, which he initially declined.

== #HarassCWCdirectly and #DontHarassMe ==

{{main|HarassCWCdirectly}}

[[File:Doopie -DontHarassMe.jpg|thumb]]

After everything was said and done, and the weens had taken their naps, Chris unpromptedly uploaded a [[Captain's Log]], ordering all the [[trolls]] to [[BACK THE FUCK OFF]]. He shifted all the blame to the weens, believing they were the reason Doopie blatantly rejected him. Chris attempted to begin two hashtag campaigns, #HarassCWCdirectly and #DontHarassMe, pledging to protect the entire cast of Planet Dolan. He did this by encouraging the trolls to attack him instead. It's likely Chris did this simply to appear heroic to Doopie and to win over her heart again—despite that she never displayed any affection for him to begin with.

== Leaked e-mails ==

{{main|Doopie E-mails|Doopie Q&A}}

[[File:DoopieKiwiFarms.png|thumb]]

By 3 August, Chris' contact with Doopie had been severely reduced, due to her blocking him on Patreon and Twitter. When probed by a troll on 5 August, Chris gave this reply, suggesting that their relationship was not over yet:

{{quotebox|Doopie and I are not close yet, but that does not mean she is not my friend; "Not Your Friend" were Not her exact words, Troll.<ref>[https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/893880561663700992 Chris and Doopie, 5 August]</ref>}}

He also discussed the matter on Patreon:

{{quotebox|And you think I did Not know all that already? I've Learned from my past errors and mistakes. I do not violate women's space. Doopie is going through her recovery of the recent Harassment from You Trolls and Bullies. She liked my Kindness, and I am aware of her past making fun of me; I do not hold that against her. You Damn Trolls and Bullies Ruin Nearly Everything.<ref>[[August 2017 Patreon posts#Third Eye Heart Icon]]</ref>}}

Since Chris failed to get the obvious, Doopie temporarily unblocked him on 5 August to spell out that she is not his friend:

{{quoteboxgreen|I can't believe I had to unblock you to tell you this. I'm not your friend. I'm not ever interested in being your friend. Leave me alone. You were specifically a customer to me, and you took it too far. You creeped me out. Now please don't talk to, or about me, ever again. <ref>https://twitter.com/DoopieDoOver/status/894003364135976961</ref><ref>https://twitter.com/DoopieDoOver/status/894003570797826049</ref>}}

Later, fed up with Chris's constant unwanted praise and affection, Doopie decided to leak all of the private e-mails Chris has sent to her by making an account on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. The users on the site then began to ask her questions regarding her interactions with Chris, to which Doopie responded with some intriguing answers.

==NightStar2891==
{{main|NightStar2891}}
{{quote|Shut Up, Trolls; I know Doopie is temporarily on your side for now.|Chris, 7 August, ''still'' not getting it.<ref>[[August 2017 tweets]]</ref>}}

On 4 August, in response to Doopie blocking him over Twitter and asking him not to tweet about her again, Chris created a sockpuppet account to both follow Doopie and publicly defend his actions. On 7 August, Chris "allowed" his NightStar account to leak direct messages, held with his main CWCSonichu twitter account, in which he explained in further detail his motives and actions regarding Doopie, to a troll who then posted the messages to Kiwi Farms. It's possible that Chris did this in order for Doopie to see his side of the story, since he was aware she had joined the forum.

== In the Comic ==
[[File:Doopie on Sonichu 13 cover.jpg|thumb|First artwork of Doopie (brunette to the right of Chris, drawn after Doopie changed her hair color.)]]
She has appeared in Chris' upcoming [[Sonichu 13|Sonichu and Planet Dolan crossover comic]] on its cover, standing near Chris. The page was released on 29 May 2017, prior to Doopie blocking him from social media. The fate of the comic, and Doopie's place in it, remains unclear.

==Liquid Doopie==
[[File:Rej35W2.png|thumb|The fake profile.]]
On 21 July 2017, a ween made a fake Doopie Facebook account in order to befriend Chris and get a rise out of him.

Two days later, Chris had fallen for the ween and accepted a friend request. However, the account was disabled the same day, though a new one was created, which he also accepted a friend request from. He later contacted the real Doopie, who confirmed it wasn't real.

{{quotebox|The Jig is Up! I have been long suspicious of the Facebook account, but I went along for the possibility of it being real. Then the first deletion from Facebook by others' flagging. And the birth dates did not match between your first and second profile trials. And then you said your email was from @mail.com. I offered a benefit, since you might have missed typing the "g". And the Big Flag, actual email from your @mail.com address. I had received actual email from the real Doopie before from her actual address. I emailed her and checked, she responded "No" to making a Facebook Profile Page.

Your Game IS Over Trollish Impostor! Consider yourself Blocked. Good day.

Sent from my iPhone

Stay Safe,

Christine W. Chandler}}

==Fan Art==
{{collapsible
|Some are NSFW.|
<center><gallery>

Image:DoopieCameForCWC.jpg
File:Shecameforcwc2017.jpg|KittenBellCameForCWC
Image:DoopieAndCWC.jpg
Image:DoopieDrawingParody.jpg
Image:DoopieDrawingParody2.jpg
Image:DoopieDrawingParody3.png

</gallery></center>}}

==Fan video==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = #HarassCWCdirectly
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8oCd-Y8g8Es}}
| Stardate = 6 August 2017
| Maker = Spelling Bee
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
*[[Chris and socialization]]
*[[Planet Dolan]]
*[[Megan Schroeder]]

==External links==

*[https://www.youtube.com/user/DoopieDoOver YouTube channel]
*[https://www.patreon.com/DoopieDoOver DoopieDoOver's Patreon account] - Chris ''was'' a patron of this account.
*[https://www.patreon.com/KittenBell NSFW Patreon account] - And this one, too.

== Sources ==
<references />

{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category: Gal pals]]

HarassCWCdirectly

2017-08-11T00:35:43Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank:

{{honest}}
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[File:HarassCWCdirectlySYMBOL.png|right|150px|#HarassCWCdirectly]]</div>
'''#HarassCWCdirectly''' is a hashtag campaign [[Chris]] made on [[Twitter]] as a response to one of [[DoopieDoOver]]'s posts. Doopie stated the unambiguous fact that Chris' harassment towards her is "beyond scary"; [[Autism|Chris somehow interpreted this as referring to his trolls instead of him]]. As a result, Chris got upset that they were supposedly attacking his [[sweetheart]], and decided to make a speech as a means of attacking them in a [[video]] he uploaded on 2 [[August 2017]]. However, like every other speech Chris has ever made, [[Chris and oration|it is very poorly made]], not only because he decided to ignore the point completely like in many of his other speeches, but because of the fact that he flat out tells all of the [[trolls]] to start harassing him, instead of Doopie, the one thing that [[Chris and stress|stresses]] him out. The speech itself is essentially just Chris saying ''"If you want to harass Doopie, you're going to have to get past me first."'' It is an unusual instance of Chris [[White knight|white knighting]] someone else, however misguided or unnecessary his efforts may be.

==Prelude==
[[File:YouDontKnowMeChristine.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris tags Doopie—the catalyst]]
In [[March 2017]], Chris started communicating with [[Planet Dolan]] artist DoopieDoOver on Twitter.<ref>[[2017 tweets#Empathizing with BPD]]</ref> Over the next five months, his interactions grew increasingly frequent, including personal emails to her business account.<ref name="doopie">[[August 2017 tweets#Doopie sets the record straight]]</ref> Originally one-way, Doopie first responded to Chris in April.<ref>[[2017 tweets#Animal cruelty]]</ref> Little did she expect, her association with Chris would put her in the crosshairs of [[Weening|weens]]. Chris began pledging to her two [[Patreon]] accounts in the June and August of this year.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-7-12-chris-argues-with-a-fool.32246/page-6#post-2426664 Kiwi farms post]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 Patreon posts#Request for cartoon porn]]</ref> The latter was a NSFW account, in which he requested a very specific piece of art. At this time, Doopie grew frustrated, as weens were pledging then pulling out before payment, in an effort to see Chris' commission.<ref>[https://twitter.com/DoopieDoOver/status/892451516061175808 "Just because you want to see what I'm drawing for Chris Chan. That's so fucking disrespectful.]"</ref>

On 1 August 2017, Chris took advantage of the trending hashtag for ''National Girlfriend Day'' by [[August 2017 tweets##NationalGirlfriendDay|composing a tweet]], which tagged his internet gal pal Doopie, and [[My Little Pony]] voice actors, among several others.

Later that day, Doopie gave a firm response, establishing that they only had a [[Friend zone|merchant-customer relationship]].<ref name="doopie"/> Chris sought for a [[Chris and negotiation|compromise]] in the form of an "acquaintance" through online communication. The following conversation unveiled Chris' infatuation with the artist, despite his [[July 2017 tweets#Chris knew Doopie has a boyfriend|awareness]] of [[Noviophobia|Doopie's boyfriend]]. Initially, Doopie tried to let Chris down gently; however, his perseverance led her to admitting that his ''"extremely creepy"'' interactions were bothering her.<ref name="doopie"/>

The conversation between Chris and Doopie brought weens out of the woodwork to advise Doopie and scorn Chris. An agitated Chris proceeded to argue with the trolls. Through this incident, Chris convinced himself that Doopie's rejection was not a consequence of ''his'' actions, but was purely those of the trolls. Chris set off to prepare a new series of drawings.

==Campaign==
{{quote|If YOU or ANYONE has something to say about me, DO NOT Spam and Harass ANYONE ELSE; #HarassCWCdirectly. Got something to say; Say It To Me.|Chris kicks off his campaign<ref>[https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/892784232589873152 Introductory tweet]</ref>}}

The campaign emerged in a [[Captain's Log]], broadcast on 2 August. In the broadcast, Chris berated the trolls with idle threats for their treatment of his "friends and allies". The astounding twist of this video was that in spite of spending [[2007|ten years]] trying to repel them, he requested that the trolls divert their social media "harassment" towards him instead, via the hashtag #HarassCWCdirectly. Note the incorrect dating of the Captain's log video. Given [[Chris and anger|Chris' anger]], his attention was [[China|elsewhere]] during production.

Like other online movements, Chris offered an icon for people to use as their profile pictures. He described the icon as a "third eye heart".<ref name="thirdeyeheart">[[August 2017 Patreon posts]]</ref> A small number of followers adopted the icon from Twitter to [[Kiwi Farms]], while others modified it to use against Chris.

<center><gallery>
File:HarassCWCdirectlyICON.jpg
File:HarassCWCdirectlyOriginal.jpg
</gallery></center>

[[File:DontHarassMe.jpg|thumb|right|200px|[[Nintendo|''CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER'']]]]
Chris also introduced the secondary hashtag '''#DontHarassMe''', accompanied by a drawing of [[Chris and the Law|mugshots]] featuring himself and Planet Dolan.<ref>[https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/892784577240080384 #DontHarassMe]</ref> Though surpassed in popularity by Chris' first hashtag, once again, the intention of this hashtag was to divert the trolls away from his friends. In the drawing, Chris and the Planet Dolan crew are wearing armbands adorned with Chris' symbol, which bears similarity to a [[Wikipedia:Nazi Party|historical political party also associated with hate]].

In summary, Chris was actively encouraging online hatred to himself on top of his usual serving.

Days later, after Chris had ended the campaign, he explained the meaning of the icon imagery to a fan who was bewildered by it.

{{quotebox|The icon is a combination of wearing one's heart on their sleeve and the ability to see the injustice of those who harass other people at one person's expense, and because we are linked together by having seen such injustice done to someone or another we care about. We will not let the Trolls, Bullies and Haters get away with harassing others at our expense.<ref name="thirdeyeheart"/>}}

Chris's choice to depict "wearing one's heart on their sleeve" is ironic, given that Doopie explicitly advised him that doing that would just be setting himself up for disappointment.<ref name="doopie"/>

==Video==
{{tardrage}}

There's an uncanny parallelism between this video and the first minute of [[Challenge for Clyde]], which Chris had uploaded eight years prior.

{{Infobox/video
| name = CLog 07072017 #HarassCWCdirectly
| video = {{#ev:youtube|v=qHEBIeREJAw}}
| stardate = 2 August 2017
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Violence|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| Saga = {{Doopie|text}}
| shirt = {{(Clopper)|text}}, {{The Musical Tote|text}}
| previous = [[CLog 07142017 - Rainbow Colouring]]
| next =
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox|This is the Official YouTube channel of the one and only creator and author of the Sonichu and Rosechu series, Christine Weston Chandler (AKA Christian, Christopher, Chris Chan, Ricardo); me. Links to my personal Facebook and Twitter pages, as well as my stores of Sonichu and Rosechu, and self, merchandise are available for purchase. Among which, more items are to come in the future, so stay tuned for the updates when I make them personally.}}

===Transcript===

[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Let's... crap]] for a moment... okay? Because... you're harassing other people, and it's at my expense! I... do not... appreciate that. If you wanna harass somebody, about me, talk bad about me, you have to send that harassment DIRECTLY to ''ME''. NO ONE ELSE. I will not... have my friends... and allies... be disturbed... so abruptly... every time. So don't harass this person, DON'T HARASS THAT PERSON. You wanna arg- you want to TALK SMACK ABOUT ME, {{RageQuote|YOU TALK ''DIRECTLY TO ME!'' DO YOU UNDERSTAND?}} And don't ever let me catch you- talking b-about me to anyone else's timelines, comments sections, Twitter, or wherever, that's outside of [[CWCki Forums|your own goddamn forum]], you ''[[trolls]]''! [''punches palm''] Don't ever let me catch you badmouthing me to ANYONE, harassing {{RageQuote|THEM at MY EXPENSE!}} DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! You better '''DAMN WELL''' understand me.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CLog 07142017 - Rainbow Colouring]]|nextlink=}}

==Aftermath==
Given the [[Heart level|heartache]] caused by his original tweet, Chris deleted it days later. Chris was no longer in contact with Doopie. Furthermore, he was no longer pledging to her Patreon accounts, suggesting that Doopie had refunded the pledges. Amazingly, Chris went on to claim that their relationship was still salvageable<ref>[https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/893880561663700992 Chris' claim]</ref>, though Doopie soon confirmed that she had blocked Chris on social media.<ref>[https://twitter.com/DoopieDoOver/status/894003364135976961 "I can't believe I had to unblock you to tell you this."]</ref> Chris' inability to let go led to the [[Doopie E-mails]], leaked by Doopie herself.

The impact of Chris' tweet also caught the attention of Tabitha St. Germain, a My Little Pony voice actor, prompting Chris to produce a long-winded apology (which also gave insight into his campaign).<ref>[https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/893155803284287488 "I am sorry, Tabitha..."]</ref> St. Germain later addressed her fans, advising them not to tag her in any erupting Twitter arguments.<ref>[https://twitter.com/StTabitha/status/893187608972451841 "If you are having a fight with someone on Twtter and it's not me, please untag me. See who is in the convo. and untick those uninvolved."]</ref> St. Germain later disappeared from Chris's follow list, implying that she, too, blocked him.

Chris ceased his personal promotion of the campaign on 4 August when he reverted his Twitter and Facebook avatars. In a Patreon post on the same day, he thanked followers for using the hashtag, implying that he still favors the usage by trolls.<ref>[https://www.patreon.com/posts/13668547 "Thank you all for your support here and on #HarassCWCdirectly to prevent and quell harassment to other people at one's expense"]</ref> As of 4 August, the hashtag has garnered dozens of responses from both weens and white knights.<ref>[https://twitter.com/search?q=%23HarassCWCdirectly All #HarassCWCdirectly tweets]</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = #HarassCWCdirectly
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8oCd-Y8g8Es}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2017]]
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJHQembd7wTda8OUYQE_d4g Spelling Bee]
| subject =
| type = Christine Weston Chandler begins his crusade against cyberbullies, August 5, 2017 (colourized)
| info = }}

==See Also==

*[[Doopie]]
*[[Planet Dolan]]
*[[Chris and oration]]

==References==
<references />

Examples of Chris's Ego

2017-08-09T19:42:48Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Other */

This is an exhaustive list of documented '''Examples of Chris's Ego''' in the real world and in the Sonichu Comic. It warrants its own page.

==In the real world==

===School===
*[[Manchester High School]] - When Chris graduated from high school, he actually cried because he believed that he deserved a number of artistic awards for his [[Chris and art|artwork]]. By his own admission, he also made a scene and ran out after getting his diploma, eventually having to be consoled by both his [[mother]] and gal-pal [[Tiffany Gowen]].
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] - After being expelled for his [[Chris and anger|appalling behavior]] by the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Student's Dean]], Chris felt the need to write to the Then-Standing President of the United-States, [[George W. Bush]]. The idea that a standing President would be willing to use his clout to reverse a local community college's administrative decision is ludicrous at best.

===Public places===
*[[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] - When asked to cease his solicitation, Chris refused to budge, rambled on in some stupid speech, and actually ''ran''. He would do this again in a [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] soon after, only to be arrested in the process.
*[[The GAMe PLACe]] - Chris acted in this store as if he owned the place. He was rude to the patrons and staff, abused the access to a flat-screen TV, and was an all-around pain for the manager, [[Michael Snyder]]. After many antics, he was banned from the place. Chris filmed a half-assed [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apology]] nine months later, not because he was sorry for his actions, but because the store was the only place that had [[The Eye of Judgment|Eye of Judgment]] cards. Chris has also attempted to incite harassment of employees of the store (using the very fans he had chastised mere weeks earlier), simply because Michael had refused to remove his ban.
*[[McIntire Park]] - During a newscast, Chris happened to pass by a cameraman who was videotaping someone being interviewed. As he did, he flashed his Sonichu [[medallion]] as if to say "Hey, look at me! I'm more important!" Sometime later, he appeared in a town hall meeting over the park itself. He flashed his shitty Sonichu and Rosechu drawing in a bizarre attempt to save it, then tried to interrupt the proceedings with a speech about how he didn't want to pay for a YMCA membership when the recognized speaker made the mistake of referring to him. He was no doubt trying to gain sympathy by noting that it would make an ostensible retard sad to build the YMCA. Chris also requested that the wading pool be deeper, which likely means the wading pool was not meant to be used by a full-grown adult. Chris was promptly and thankfully shot down.
*[[Chris and the Law|Prison]] - During [[28 October 2011|his time in jail]], Chris stated he refused to eat the prison food, since he had [[autism|never done it]] and was not going to start any time soon, and eating the food was beneath him.
*[[GameStop|Gamestop]] - Following the incident on [[26 December 2014]] in which he maced a [[JERKS|male]] [[Manajerks|employee]] after fleeing a Gamestop which he had been banned from previously due to the [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalisation]] of one of their Sonic Boom displays, he had went on to say that he in fact was the victim of the whole situation in a lengthy Facebook post.

===With people===
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] - One of Chris's first crushes. Chris made the small booklet ''[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]'' in an attempt to win her over on her 21st birthday. The booklet was merely a major ego trip, talking more about him and less about her, with the two of them replaced with Sonichu and Rosechu. He later cast her in his Sonichu comic and having her break up with [[Wes Iseli]] before disposing her when she was married away to [[William Spicer]].
*[[Megan Schroeder]] - For the longest time, Chris actually believed that he and Megan were going out as boyfriend and girlfriend. He even attacked someone for getting near Megan. When the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] picture was discovered, Chris actually thought that the reason she was upset was because she wasn't used to sexual things, and not the fact that she realised that Chris saw her as [[Women's rights|nothing more than a]] [[sex toy]]. He then tried to make Megan believe that the bullying from those amongst [[ED]] was MUCH worse than the fact that he did the picture because he was afraid of trying to rape her. He also insisted that he was under much more emotional pain than she was, somehow believing that [[Trolls]] posting pictures of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]] on the Internet was worse than a so-called "friend" sexually harassing and drawing porn of you. Chris would later blame ED for the fact that he lost her friendship, not caring it was his fault in the first place.
*[[Jerkop|Jerkops]] - Thanks to Chris's various run-ins with the law, Chris has a very skewed view of law enforcement. After being tossed out of [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], he deemed that security guards were evil and just trying to play [[Kick the Autistic]] and prevent him from completing his [[Love Quest]]. However, following his arrest on [[28 October 2011]], Chris has now assumed that ''all'' law enforcement is evil and has gone out of his way to make sure they never take him into any sort of custody again.
*[[Vanessa Hudgens]]: [[Joshua Martinez]] used the identity of the ''High School Musical'' star to troll Chris by pretending "Vanessa" wanted to ride his [[duck]]. The fact that Chris actually believed a ''bona fide'' celebrity wanted to give him her [[china]] speaks volumes about his hubris.
*[[10 September 2009]] - Chris, in his ever-growing paranoia, automatically assumes that a possible interview from Veronica Belmont of ''PlayStation Magazine Europe'' is a troll because the person didn't leave a return number, demanding that if she truly wanted to interview him, she should come ''personally'' to his house... then starts trying to suck up to her just in case it wasn't a troll.
*[[Rejected Mailbag]] - Chris hates being proven wrong, especially about Asperger's and autism being part of the same spectrum. He also takes issue with letters that point out the flaws in his comic pages, which is interesting considering [[Chris and hypocrisy|he has no problem telling fans about the flaws he finds in their fan art, calling it "constructive criticism"]]. He's gone from simply ignoring people correcting his mistake to placing these "offending" letters in his rejected mailbag. Even more, when any of the letters mention the similarities between autism and Aspergers, he tosses them into his "Autism Mailbag" and whenever someone tries to mention anything else connected to his past, he automatically goes into a "mental block" and refuses to go any further. On 5 December 2009, Chris wrote a long essay that made little sense, which mainly consisted of him bawwwing that he was a unique and special snowflake, and that Aspies are faking fakers that take away the specialness of his autism. Despite autism and Asperger's existing in the populace long before he was born, and Chris being a [[virgin with rage]], Chris also states that he [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"...Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People".]]
*[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|The Sonichu promotional video]] - In the Part 2 of his video, Chris shows to the camera an elegant drawing of the two main heroes of the comic book made by a fan called Allie. Not only does he proceed to comment "Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her," he presents an actual, sub-par copy of the drawing made by himself as a better version.
*[[Chris and copyright|Copyright claim against Vivian Gee]] - For the most part, Chris ignored the [[Audiobooks]] that were being made out of his comics. However, when he found out that they were being "sold", Chris issued [[Death threats]] against [[Vivian Gee]], threatening to kill her AND [[Clyde Cash|her family]]. He then released his own [[Official Videobooks]], which he believed to be better than Vivian's. These consisted of holding up the TRUE and ORIGINAL pages up to a camera and waving the page around as he stumbled through the dialogue, made childish sound effects, and failed to explain what was actually going on. He excused himself a month later and asked for a quote of 25% out of the donations she received for her hard work. It is worth mentioning that the excuse AND the demand for a share of the profits were in the same e-mail, separated by a single dot.
*[[Jimmy Hill]], [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] - While Chris is more than willing to declare Sonichu as a parody so he can make his multimedia franchise, he blows his stack whenever someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu and himself. He threatened "legal action" during the Jimmy Hill saga and went all out to prove himself the True and Honest Chris when Liquid showed up. During the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], when Liquid threatened to go to the police over the Gun Comic, Chris was certain that the police would be more concerned over the fact that someone was impersonating him than the fact that he threatened to murder him. When Alec Benson Leary's Asperchu began to be more popular than Sonichu, Chris decided to pull a number of things, including a moment of "pot calling the kettle black" in which he decries Asperchu as crappy because it was computer drawn.
*[[Father Call]] - When talking to [[Kacey]]'s father, his ego clashed horribly against Matt's attempts to get through to his head, comparing losing a loved one to Chris losing his [[Patti|dog]], declaring that mowing the lawn (a menial task) was tough work, and utterly missing various cues to people's hardships, such as when Matt told him that his mother pulled weeds while inflicted with arthritis. Chris could only apologize for her having arthritis, not be impressed by the feat.
*[[Evan]] - When Evan created the character "Simonchu" as a joke, Chris took it, turned it into a girl and renamed her "[[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]]". When Evan got tired of Chris using the monstrosity, he demanded that he kill her. Chris has refused many times but in [[Mailbag 43#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 43]] took the cake: he told Evan, in detail, how his Simonchu would try to take back Simonla, how Wild Sonichu would defend and defeat Simonchu and Simonla would return to Evan's "ECGVille" and say that she didn't want to come back, all under Chris's GDC ("Great Director Chandler") powers.
*[[Shigeru Miyamoto]] - Chris was convinced that Miyamoto, who is a world-famous video game designer and creator of beloved and legendary franchises like ''Super Mario Bros'', ''Donkey Kong'', ''The Legend of Zelda'' and ''Star Fox'', would not only be honored to meet him, but in fact even ''more'' honored to meet Chris than Chris would be to meet him. Then, even after having his game proposal rejected by Miyamoto, Chris still remained convinced that Miyamoto was only "holding out on [him]" and would surely accept his offer in the near future.
*[[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] - Chris loves to hold some form of superiority over people he doesn't like, and the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|calls Alec made]] to Chris are great examples. Chris calls Alec's art "crappy" several times, his reasoning being that it is drawn with a tablet, and doesn't have the "character" that his own pencil-and-paper methods apparently convey. He also tells Alec he is "obviously naïve" because he ''doesn't'' believe that cartoon and comic book characters have real feelings and hasn't been deceived countless times by trolls, and implies that he thinks Alec is pathetic in a rather snide tone of voice, while having no real reasons to back this up. Despite Alec actually being genial to him during the first few calls, Chris attempts to insult and demean him anyway, and acts like a child being scorned when Alec inevitably becomes angered by this. In [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|one call]], Chris actually has the balls to tell Alec that there was a price to pay for making him kill off Simonla - Alec, Evan, Sean and Mao's deaths in the comic.
*[[Bob Chandler]] - On 01 [[March 2010]], Chris [[twitter|tweeted]] the sad news that Bob Chandler, Chris's father, was hospitalized with a life-threatening heart condition. Instead of asking for prayers, like many [[Chris and religion|Christians]] do, or putting his comic on hold, he whined about the [[stress]] it caused him and talked about the newest dates for release of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu 11]]. The next day, he released [[02 March 2010|two]] [[Surfshack Tito|videos]]. Neither had any info on or mention of his father or his condition. He didn't even update [[CWCipedia|his website]] or his [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|blog]] with the sad news. Here's the sum of all the love and concern Chris expressed for his Dad: one and a half lines of the 11 tweets he sent that afternoon.<ref>[http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu Chris's Twitter]</ref>
*[[True and Loyal Fanbase|Fans]] - Ever since day one, Chris has treated his fanbase like shit. He insulted one of the few fans he had, and shrugs his shoulders and says "Whatever" whenever a fan tells him they are going to leave, yet then expects them to come to his aid whenever necessary. When Chris lost his latest [[gal-pal]] due to troll interference, not only did he attack the trolls, he also attacked his fans, claiming that they have no life of their own and comparing them to Mary Lee Walsh in trying to stop him from finding a sweetheart. Hilariously, Chris thinks that he has over a billion fans. Let's put this into perspective: the internet has close to ''two billion users''. Chris thinks he has half of them.
*[[The Wallflower]] - The Wallflower was a woman Chris hung out with outside of the Young Adult Social Group. In an article in the CWCipedia, Chris shoves the blame on The Wallflower herself, saying that she should never have had a Facebook page or Fanfiction.net page and that, because she refuses to give ''him'' an apology for this, rather than ''him'' to ''her'' as it should be, she will forever hold the guilt of breaking his heart. In addition, Chris claims that the two of them had "exchanged DNA" at the movies and that she was his girlfriend in his [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"C-Ya Later" video]], when in reality, they were never more than friends. A recent video shows that he ''still'' thinks she was his girlfriend and he still hasn't let go of her.
*[[Trolls]] - One of the things that has enraged even casual Christorians is his smugness towards even his trolls. In Chris's own mind, he has come up with the image that they are actually [[homos]]exual [[niggos|blacks]] who are jealous of his work and are slowly becoming autistic by staying on the computer. Furthermore, he has arrived at the belief that they are only jealous of his material goods. Chris's paranoia has gotten to the point where he openly blames them for driving him out of every place he could go to, as well as for his inability to make friends.
*[[Lars]] - Even though Chris has been known for the longest time to berate [[JERKS|most other males]] for taking all of the [[boyfriend-free girl]]s and leaving none for him, he was more than happy to taunt Lars like a little kid about his breakup with [[Jackie]], acting like he is actually proud of taking her away from him (with liberal use of [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|racist terms]]) and threatening [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|to kill him]] should he say anything about it. [[Chris and hypocrisy|Now there's something to think about]]. However, it should be noted that this [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|isn't the first time]] [[SHE IS MINE NOW|he has done this]].
*[[Love Quest]] - A recurring requirement for potential [[boyfriend-free girl]]s, established most notably on his [[attraction sign]]s and in his [[Sonichu's_News_Dash]], is that they be age 18-[Chris's current age]. In the latter, he goes as far as to specify "18-21 years of age (18-22 as of February 24, 2004 [the date on which Chris turned 22])", demonstrating that although he expects 18-year-old girls to be interested in him regardless of his age, anyone so much as a ''day'' older than Chris doesn't meet his standards. Also, Chris has stated he would not date a girl with autism or any other mental disabilities, yet expects a woman to accept an autistic manchild like himself.
*[[Jackie]] - In the final e-mail exchanges<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 21]], [[Jackie E-mails 22]] and [[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref> between the two, Jackie, quite accurately, pointed out many of Chris's flaws, also taking the time to rationally explain what he was doing wrong and what he could do to fix things. However, Chris took it the wrong way, claiming that she was being mean to him and [[Kick the Autistic|hating]] him by pointing out his flaws, still believing himself to be flawless and special. Ultimately, but perhaps predictably, it was Chris's own ego that led to the resulting collapse of the relationship.
* [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] - The latest of the many trolls to come after Chris, Chris's ego has ramped up incredibly after [[Calling Out|his return to the internet]]. In his first video in eight months, Chris revealed that he had dox on him and was pretty much blackmailing him to do certain things, lest Chris reveal those dox. Chris's demands were for him to apologize to Sony for hacking the Playstation Network (actually done by entirely unrelated people), apologize to The Wallflower for breaking her and Chris up (when it was her finding out about how sick Chris was that ended their ''friendship'', not ''relationship'' - something he never had), to pay him $1000 (probably to pay for the [[PS3]] that ''he destroyed'') and to remove everything he added to the [[CWCki]] (despite the fact that anyone with half a brain could easily reupload it).
* [[Michael Snyder]] - Michael has been a thorn in Chris's side since the day he was kicked out of the [[GAMe PLACe]]. At first, it seemed that Chris's animosity towards Michael was minor, and that he just wanted to go back and start buying stuff again. However, after [[The Wallflower]] incident, Chris had stepped up his attempts to get back in and failed miserably. This has lead Chris to throw "anti-Semitic" "slurs" (e.g., calling him a "[[South Park|Jew]]"), and attempting vehicular assault at least twice. As of now, he sees Michael as some sort of ring leader for cyber-bullying and considers the GAMe PLACe to be the headquarters for it all. Though Snyder was openly lenient on the charges, Chris still called him a "thieving liar" before the judge.
* [[Barbara Chandler]] - Despite [[Tomboys_And_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Mothers|her disapproval]] of his [[Tomgirl]] shenanigans (she even tried bribing him to get him to stop wearing a bra and panties), Chris continued to parade around as a crossdresser, no doubt causing a lot of undue embarrassment to his mother. From what little contact anyone had with Chris since a [[28 October 2011|certain incident]], Chris has shown no visible [[Remorse|remorse]] for getting his aging mother thrown in jail and waist deep in legal troubles since then. While he does mention Barb as being "the only person who cares about him" in a [[Facebook]] note, the note primarily focuses on his grievances with the trolls and how much they've made his life miserable. Again, this comes on the heels of the Chandlers ending up in legal troubles, which was entirely his fault.

===Online===
*[[CWC's Second Message]] - In what would be his opening attack on trying to get the trolls to remove his page following losing Megan, Chris's opening words, amazingly, were:
{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.}}
*[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]] - Another shining example of Chris's ego in video form: Chris expects, and even '''demands''', respect from everybody, even though Chris has never shown anybody else any kind of respect. Plus, considering all of the things he's done: adding people to his comic so that he can beat them up, [[mass debating]] on camera, discriminating against others because of [[niggos|race]], [[JERKS|gender]], and [[homos|sexual orientation]], spending [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]] on [[Kimmi|sex toys]] and [[PS3|video games]], uploading poorly-drawn [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|pictures]] of himself fingering [[Megan]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and then blaming them for her breaking up with him; he has never done anything to warrant the respect of '''anyone'''.
*[[LittleBigPlanet]] - When Chris had shown up on LBP community and posted videos addressed to them, he once again said people "should know him by now". He immediately assumed people would praise him for his levels, especially the "Collector's Case", which he thought was the most original LBP level idea ''ever.''
*[[For G4's Web Soup|Web Soup]] - When Chris learned that one of his videos was featured on an episode, he took it as a good thing, not realizing that the show made fun of people on the Internet.
*[[Sonichu's Edge|Chris]] [[CWCFighter|and]] [[51 50|exercise]] - Many times, Chris has shown his attempts at exercising or performing some sort of strenuous feat. He considered [[Power|lifting up a chair]] to be a great feat of strength, thought that lifting two 12-pack boxes was akin to lifting two 50-pound weights, and even showed his "amazing" Parkay skills.
*[[Chris and Wikipedia|Chris and famous people]] - Chris has compared himself to [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo Buonarotti]] in artistic ability. He has also compared himself in ability or personality to President [[Barack Obama]], [[SingStar Challenge|Frank Sinatra]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Bing Crosby]], [[Red Skelton]], Dick van Dyke, [[I Love Lucy|Ricky Ricardo]], and Jaleel White, who voiced Sonic the Hedgehog in the original three Sonic cartoons. He has also compared himself to many fictional characters such as [[Transformers|Optimus Prime]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]], [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]], and [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]. Since free-riding on someone else's talents is nothing new for Chris, he saw no issue into incorporating known people in [[Chandler Family Tree|his family tree]]. This is how [[Anne Boleyn]], [[Daniel Weston]] and an unknown [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee fellow]] appeared in his ancestry for no logical reason whatsoever. He pushed the audacity to edit many [[Wikipedia]] pages to validate his hubris. All entries have been redacted and his account was blocked.
*[[Chris E-Mails]] - Chris's massive ego manifests itself eagerly through his correspondence with other people. For example, he e-mailed the O'Reilly Factor, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News at least twice, telling them about his Encyclopedia Dramatica page. Not only did he outright expect them to report on it and give it extensive television coverage, but he expected the FBI (which he also believed was apparently part of the crew for the news shows) to go after Jason Kendrick Howell. Other examples include that while he apologized to Megan for drawing [[shecameforcwc.jpg]], he told her that she owed him money, and that he tried to coax [[Anna McLerran]] and Megan into vandalizing his ED page for him. He also believed that people thought their ranking on his [[Scale of Respect]] was of the utmost importance, as illustrated by his correspondence with Mary Lee Walsh.
*[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)|Chris and his ED Page]] - Since Chris is a known narcissistic loon, he never liked mirrors of any kind. When the [[Jason Kendrick Howell|nice folks]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] found him, they couldn't resist the urge to satirize his own existence. Said article turned into a circus whereby [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|he tried to retract, modify, erase]], and even supply the page with [[shecameforcwc.jpg|new]] [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|material]]. In 17 [[December 2009]], he went as far as copying the main article page out of ED and edited out at his convenience.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Chris_chan]</ref>
*[[CWCipedia|Chris and his own webpage]] - When Chris was given his own webpage, he found himself bombarded with gay ads, all paid for by [[Jack Thaddeus]]. After dealing with this for months on end, Chris finally had enough and proclaimed that he wrote to currently-standing President Barack Obama in an attempt to make gay ads illegal, despite the fact that this kind of ad is still protected under free speech and even if he got the letter, there's a slim (read: zero) chance that Obama, who legalized national gay marriage, will actually listen to his whiny, fat, homophobic ass. While addressing the matter, Chris proclaims himself ''the captain of this boat'' and says that without him, CWCipedia would not exist, implying that he does all the hard work on the website, ignoring all of the Sysop's efforts. In fact, CWCipedia was a privilege given to Chris and not at all something that he came up with. Chris has taken this to an absolute extreme, going as far as to suggest that he is the "Captain" of CWCipedia.
*[[Sonichu Forum|Chris and the Sonichu Forum]] - When Chris discovered a troll site filed with people pretending to be Sonichu fans, he used it to its maximum possible extent. The notorious [[Mailbag 50]] was made using hand-picked posts from the forum, selected for their copious amounts of ass-kissing. When one troll suggested that Chris [[Sonichu Forum#Chris doesn't own a mirror|wasn't much of a catch IRL]], Chris responded with anger, demanding to know what could possibly make them think that he was anything less than awesome.
*[[CWCki|Chris and the CWCki]] - On 10 March 2010, Chris ended up discovering the CWCki due to the fiasco that led to his breakup with [[The Wallflower]]. He demanded that all pages concerning him, his family and friends be altered or [[death threats|there would be trouble.]] Noticing the Wallflower's page altered, he took credit for it, not realizing that she had demanded it much earlier and had nothing to do with his earlier rant.
*[[Chris and the Internet|Leaving the Internet]] - No fewer than ''six times'', Chris has boldly claimed that he was "distancing himself from the internet" and that the only way he would be seen would be outside. However Chris has always returned, anywhere from 36 hours to eight months after making this bold claim. In a hypocritical sense, Chris hasn't left the internet - he's left the parts that he doesn't like anymore.
*[[Flipnote Hatena]] - After "distancing himself from the internet", Chris decided to bide his time on Flipnote Hatena, a website that allows him to post animated creations from the Nintendo DSi program Flipnote Studio. So far, Chris has used it to spread his word over how to deal with trolls by butchering a humorous music video, thinking its creator was thinking the same thing he was, and by creating a set of "tags", listing out a bunch of lies. At the end of [[An Ol' Classic Dream]], he demands that his brainwashed, obedient fanbase give him 5 million stars in exchange for an uncensored version of the already raunchy video. ON A G-RATED GAME. When mods took down his flipnotes, Chris would put them back on, disable comments on his page, then re-allow them, and post a flipnote that should have been him apologizing for doing so, but talked more about the trolls and his "Internet Rep" than an actual apology.
*[[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|Trollbusters]] - After returning to the Internet, Chris comes up with the idea for a "Trollbusters" group, having made shirts and cars on [[ModNation Racers]]. All of this was done so he can make the Internet safe for himself and himself alone, despite the fact that this directly flies in the face of the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution|First Amendment]. Searches through Google though, reveal that there have been other Trollbuster attempts in the past by other people and, most likely like this one, were doomed to fail.
* [[Calling Out]] - In Chris's first video since he "left" the internet, he just had to reintroduce himself to others, almost copying word for word the same thing he said when first began his attack on the trolls. As well, he stood to reveal that the Playstation Network hackings weren't the work of a series of hackers, but by Surfshack Tito himself.
* [[Facebook]] - On 1 April 2012, Chris posted a note on his Facebook, talking about how all of his [[trolls]] know nothing about him, that what they've said and done is totally uncalled for, and that the only person who cares about him is [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] and he would rather not meet anyone who might be a troll. This is despite the fact that numerous [[white knight]]s have attempted to tell Chris that he needs to straighten up or he's going to die, and some of the trolling attempts were attempts to get him to do just that. All of these were ignored. Later, on 28 April 2012, Chris placed screenshots on the CWCki forums, and started bragging about 'deceiving the trolls' despite them merely making small talk over his announcement about re-using the Attraction Sign. Even more telling, though, is his claim that he knows where every user lives, that that he'll [[Death threats|find them all]].
* [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing]] - Strapped for cash following the fire that temporarily cost him his home, Chris attempted to sell an original piece of Sonichu work. While initial attempts led to artificially increased prices through troll influence, Chris's later attempts to sell the work had him list the asking price at $1000 USD. Though it's probably due to desperation, the fact that Chris thought that his artwork was worth that much is astounding.
* [[Sonic Boom Protests| Downsized SEGA]] - On Feb 2, 2015, Chris took credit for SEGA's downsizing, stating that him and his 'pale-arm crusaders', with their boycotting, had damaged SEGA enough to force them to close office. This is despite the fact that "normal market forces" had been the supposed cause, literally ''nobody'' is joining Chris on his fight against blue arms, and SEGA is the publisher of all ''Sonic'' games. This gives some nicely- needed recent perspective on the size of his ego.

===Contests===
*[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]] - In an attempt to win a contest involving the animated avian lawyer, Chris went to great lengths to talk about himself, his rivalry with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Sonichu]], but very, ''very'' little about Birdman himself.
*[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] - In his reviews of the top 10 videos, Chris highly praised his entry and claimed it was the best. After losing the contest to [[Adam Stackhouse]], Chris would have a major hissy-fit over the loss, proclaiming even the slightest mistake as cheating, despite the fact that Chris himself had broken numerous rules in the process, including loading the contest with fake votes for him and bribing his [[Cole Smithey|stepbrother]] to vote for him. Even worse, he attempted to fabricate the PlayStation webpage to show that he himself had won and not Adam.
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] - After [[trolls]] caused Chris to win the contest in a misguided attempt to troll the entire gaming community, Chris vowed to spend his winnings (a $400 USD gift card) with his church. Instead, he barely spent half of it towards the church, taking the rest (approximately over $200) for himself to spend on [[McDonald's|fast food]], [[List of Chris' toys|toys]], [[Video games]] and [[Sex toys|god knows what else]].

===Other===
*[[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] - In the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him, and considered getting banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], finding out that [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] were posting info about him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]], and having his personal websites and accounts hacked to be far worse than losing two of his sweethearts [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]].
*[[Chris and English]] - The whole purpose of language is to communicate thoughts and ideas to other people, but Chris has managed to turn his vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him, forcing people who want to communicate with him to understand his unusual vocabulary as opposed to Chris having to understand regular speech.
*[[Chris and health]] - Chris hates to be called fat. Deep in his mind, he honestly thinks he's the same somewhat skinny child he once was, despite the fact that he has a gut, is forced to wear a [[Muscle bra|bra]] to keep his colossal moobs in check and his hairline's retreating at an alarming rate. While he refuses to accept his baldness, he actually is claiming to be working on his gut. Beyond that, he refuses ''professional'' psychological help and honestly believes stuff such as autism and homosexuality are easily caught diseases.
*[[Chris and money]] - Chris refuses to get a job, completely under the extremely delusional belief that he can get more from his [[Monthly tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance payment]] than getting an actual job. Whenever the Chandlers are in financial troubles, Chris whines and complains, even though he has spent thousands on [[Lego]] and other frivolities. His refusal to get a job is best underscored in the [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris_explains_why_he_won't_get_a_job|April 2017 Facebook posts]], where his reasoning for why he refuses to get a job is because the trolls and bullies ruined his background check, even though [[Chris and the law|everything that caused him to get in trouble with the law]] was of his own doing and with no prodding from the trolls.
*[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]] - The cover features a picture of Chris with a [[Chris and religion#Delusions of Godhood?|halo]] made mostly out of Pokémon energy symbols floating over his head.
*[[DivineTrial]] - [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] is put to trial by Chris ([[Chris and cosplaying|cosplaying]] as Divine), who acts as a prosecutor, judge, jury and a one man firing squad. Apparently [[PandaHalo|Panda]]'s rape wasn't serious enough to be put into the charges against Clyde, though his various acts of trolling against Chris were.
*[[Exposing Jeff]] - Despite acknowledging that Liquid knows three different tongues (in addition to his native English) and how to play the guitar, Chris still says that he can be "so much better".
*[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] - Much like his lord and master GodJesus, Chris believes he has the power to forgive those who have sinned against him, essentially the opposite of his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack. Apparently, Chris is so arrogant, he thinks he can use his [[Chris and religion|autistic magic]] to cleanse the souls of the [[trolls|wicked mortals]] who dare to play [[Kick the Autistic]] instead of worshipping him, and has done so [[One Blessing, and One Curse|on]] [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour|numerous]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|occasions]].
* [[100 2178|Greene County School Board]] - In one video, Chris proclaims that the Greene County School Board, who sought to help Chris when he was younger, initiated a massive conspiracy against him in order to keep him in his "autistic shell". This also included paying off a Realtor to keep their house from being sold and paying off Michael Snyder to keep him out of the GAMe PLACe.
*In a [[Media:HelpHaitSonichu.jpg|one-page spread]] designed to spread awareness of the victims of the earthquake in Haiti (and likely done only in response to a [[:File:Haitihelp.JPG|similar ad]] featuring Asperchu), Chris drew all the human victims being dwarfed by four and a half foot tall hedgehogs. The human children, sitting beside [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|a bunch of furry runts]], are to scale less than a foot tall. Topping it all off was the inclusion of Simonchu in order to spite [[Evan]]. To Chris, it's more important that his (stolen) recolor abominations have more exposure than the people he's trying to help.
**Similarly, the [[:File:Sonichu Rosechu Save McIntire by Cwcipedia.jpg|poster]] ostensibly designed to be a protest sign features the aforementioned recolors more prominently than the [[McIntire Park|message]] of the sign.
* [[Car Pranks|His answering machine]] - When a number of trolls attempted to call Chris over a Craigslist listing of his car, one of the calls got to his answering machine. The recorded message says that his lawyers and a doctor of some sort advise him not to take any interviews due to too much information being leaked, then calls the trolls "trollin' stupid."
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|His Church]] - In a recent [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|call to arms against Asperchu]], Chris reveals that he believes he can use his current congregation as a personal army.
*[[Copyright|His copyright]] - If there is one thing Chris takes pride in, it's his "official" Sonichu copyright. With this, he feels as if he can actually make his multimedia empire with no one to stop him. When he first got the paperwork, he boasted it not even a day after he lost Kacey to Liquid Chris, more or less telling her she got stuck with a loser. He also attempted to set up a bunch of videos trying to sell Sonichu to other companies. In his second "I'm leaving the Internet FOREVER" video, he uses the copyright again to boast that he has won over the trolls.
*[[Homos]]exuality - Given his passion for STAYING STRAIGHT, in [[Kacey Call 22]], Chris actually seems bemused by the idea that gay men don't find him attractive enough to "lure off the straight path."
*[[Virgin with rage|Losing his virginity]] - After apparently losing his ever-so-hated virginity, the news of it spread across the troll community with one thing in mind - it could not have happened. When Chris finally admitted it, he talked down to the trolls, vowing never to reveal what had happened.
*[[Mumble 3]] - While talking to Clyde, Chris tells him that the reason why he doesn't have a job is because he has so many awesome skills, he just can't choose one, and not because he's lazy and shown himself to be [[Chris and writing|poor]] [[Chris and art|in]] [[Chris's resume|multiple]] [[CADD|skills]].
*[[Mumble 4]] - When Clyde asks Chris what kind of job he thinks he's qualified for, Chris says, "If anything, I'm overqualified...[for] every type of job available!"
*[[Tomgirl]] - Among the most likely reasons for Chris deciding to turn Tomgirl is to maintain his hatred of men and not admit it's out of jealousy, and also as a way to deny his homosexuality.
*[[Wendy's]] - During his brief stint working there, Chris was shown to have been a particularly stubborn employee to work with, ultimately getting fired for scaring a kid with his [[Donald Duck impersonation]] to the point that he cried. [[Mumble #7|When questioned]] [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|about this]], Chris just says that he did not scare the child and that he was "tired". Additionally, Chris also said that one of his co-workers was very mean-spirited to him even though she most likely was giving him constructive criticism.

==In the comic==

{{quote|I did an AWESOME FUCKIN' JOB|Chris}}

While [[Issue 0]] and [[Issue 1]] do focus on Sonichu, [[Chris-Chan]] takes over as the main character throughout [[Issue 2]], [[Sonichu 5|Issue 5]], [[Sonichu 6|Issue 6]] and [[Sonichu 7|Issue 7]], with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] as a supporting character, and in his infrequent appearances he invariably sings Chris's praises. [[Sonichu 8|Issue 8]] and [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] see Sonichu taking back his major role as the main character, but at this stage he's just a Mary Sue for Chris. The main story arc of [[Sonichu 10|Issue 10]] is the resurgence of Chris and his elimination of every enemy he has so far. He also portrays himself as skinny and handsome, although this doesn't happen till said ''Issue 2'', and throughout the comic series sporadically gives his self-insert character superpowers that are never explained. He even makes several episodes that dramatize events he had in real-life, with the extremely self-indulgent fantasies that are described below.

Chris's ego is in full bloom in the comics. The name of the city in which he and his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon strive to protect is known as [[CWCVille]]. The city's currency is C-Quarters and W-Quarters. One of the major drinks in this city is known as [[CWC Cola]]. The radio station is called "[[K-CWC]]"; the hotel is called the "Double CWC"; even his [[Wikipedia:Hyrule|Hyrule]] ripoff is called "[[RuleCWC]]". Basically, everything is named after Chris. The Sonichus and Rosechus he created refer to him as "father". His self-insert is mayor, but never ever performs any mayoral duties whatsoever and his actual role is more like a god-king than any kind of elected official - as Chris says, there [[Honor Roll|"is"]] no elections.

===Instances of Chris's ego in the comics===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|An entire book of Chris hurting people he hates]]
*'''[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]:''' While this is the smallest amount of screen time he's ever had in the comics, he generally steals the scene to himself. Sonichu tries to make a point about how "[[Chris and writing|creative]]" the comics are if that, and generally trying to make it seem like he deserves a girlfriend for drawing this retarded piece of fail.
*'''[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]:''' Again, Chris's existence in the comics is very minor, confined to Sub-Episodes and a sudden appearance, mocking how ridiculous a singing and dancing [[Doctor Robotnik]] is.
*'''[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]:''' His portrayal of [[Wes-Li Sonichu|Wes-Li]] counts, despite not really knowing Chris in [[Chris and Reality|real life]] he still gets portrayed as a villain. He also openly admitted he didn't want Sarah to see anyone else in a text-walling portion of the comic, yet still calls Wes-Li greedy for not wanting to be a part in CWC's retarded conversations. He also draws [[Sarah]] pinning Wes-Li to a tree & breaking up with him, just because she thought Chris being a stalker of her was sweet. He is also drawn whining about how he lost Sarah, and essentially tells Wes to "buck up", even though he's the first one to make a scream when he lost a [[Hanna|one-time date]]. [[Mary Lee Walsh]] also appears as a villain.
*'''[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]:''' This issue has a semi-fictionalized account of an incident Chris had with the managers of McDonald's. He was loitering and soliciting, and, knowing that a 25-year old, [[Obesity|morbidly obese]] [[autistic]] man-child [[Creepy stare|creepily looking]] at patrons can't possibly end well, security threw him out. In his comic book, however, Chris exclaims that the Jerkops are conspiring against him, preventing him from finding [[Sweetheart|true love]]. He turns into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and defeats them with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]], who admits he only helped because Chris was his creator.
*'''[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]:''' It's all about Chris here. Sonichu and Rosechu are nowhere to be seen, except for one cameo each in separate sub-episodes. This issue was all about Chris's semi-fictionalized misadventures at Wal-Mart, Target and McDonald's, and pitted him constantly against the Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh, for they dare to interfere with his [[Love Quest]]. Unlike IRL, Chris can (and does) pwn them in the fantasy world of his comics. This issue also includes the account of Chris's encounter with IRL troll [[Hannah]], who raised his [[heart level]] to 100% just to smash it down to 15%.
[[Image:Sammyandchris.jpg|thumb|Chris as he is vs. Chris as he sees himself.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]:''' This issue has Chris write Sarah Hammer out of the comic so he could focus exclusively on [[Megan Schroeder]], the new object of his desire. While Sarah did marry a man named [[William Spicer]], Chris was not present at her wedding, and had never met Spicer, as he was represented in the comic by a generic [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] character. The next episode has Chris fawning over Megan, and she over him. In reality, Megan saw Chris only as a friend, and was constantly rebuffing his advances. The episode features two different endings because Megan either did not like the original ending or objected to being featured in the comic at all.
*'''[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]:''' The [[Patti Chandler]] Memorial Issue, where his dead dog becomes a member of CWCville. In the only other episode in this issue, Chris has [[Bionic]] ask him to create a sweetheart for him, but Chris, being a lazy fuck, hooks him up with Megan's character [[Megagi La Skunk]]. Chris, being the [[Layla Flaaffy|thieving]] [[Simonla Rosechu|moron]] we all know and love, would later claim Megan's character as his own, and, in true CWC fashion, transformed her into a [[Women's rights|flat, stereotypical "girl" character motivated to only shop, cook and fuck]] [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].
*'''[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]:''' Chris is envious of Bionic's ability to screw Megagi until Megan holds his hand, again implying romance where none exists. This issue contains the stupid time-travel plot where they go back in time to the moment Chris created Bionic, and the scene randomly segues into a [[Family Guy]] style scene he gives Seth McFarlane full permission to use (Coincidentally, or not, the first few minutes of the ''Road to Germany'' episode of Family Guy bears a close resemblance to this "skitch"). After Chris gets trapped in the time void, he mixes both fake memories from the comic with real ones, like Megan "dumping" him and his denial of having drawn [[Shecameforcwc.jpg]] (he blames it on [[ED]], even though he was the one that drew it and uploaded it onto that site), Mary Lee Walsh's invasion of CWCville and her defeat at the hands of the Sonichus and Rosechus, and [[Joshua Martinez]] hooking him up with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. In the other episode, he introduces his Sweetheart-of-the-moment Blanca and her creation [[Jiggliami]], who Chris would later claim as his own, as well as featuring an interview with anti-troll [[Robert Simmons V]] about how awesome Chris is.
[[Image:Momentary Escape.JPG|thumb|Chris rends space time asunder to punch some guy. On the plus side, that does look a little bit like him.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]:''' While free of Chris the character, the comic was not free of Chris's warped psyche. He drew a sex scene between Sonichu and Rosechu for no other reason than to draw porn of his characters for him to [[Mass debating|fap]] to, and gave a detailed account of their reproductive systems. Remember, Sonichu is supposed to be a children's comic, as Chris has stated numerous times. After having his characters have sex for the fifty billionth time, he inserts the hideous [[Rule 34]] he drew into the storyline by having Rosechu come across it while using the internet for no reason other than [[Chris and writing|the plot demands it]]. In a blatant display of Mary Sueism, Chris uses Sonichu to comment on his hideous drawings by saying that they are "so lifelike", and he also has Sonichu gag and barf at the sight of fan drawings from Chris's ED page of Rosechu with a "pickle". Next there are multiple (traced) nude images of Rosechu, which the plot indicates is to prove that she doesn't have a "pickle". Later on, after Sonichu and Rosechu storm [[4-cent garbage.com]], which is a thinly veiled portrayal of ED, she strips again and face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the guy who created Chris's ED page, putting him into a state close to death. Even later, all the Rosechus in the comics decide to strip for "[[Women's rights]]"...well, all except [[Zapina|one underaged one]], who can't strip because of the "[[Pedofork|dumb laws]]". It must be noted that this entire storyline was a result of Chris being trolled hard by the people over at ED, who drew fan art of Rosechu with a dick to make Chris RAGE...and RAGE he did. An epilogue has former sweetheart [[Sarah Jackson]] killed by [[Optimus Prime]]; another former sweetheart, [[Blanca]], returned to Kentucky and her boyfriend, which makes no fucking sense storyline wise. The truth is that she was a troll and Chris failed at writing her out; a two sentence memorial to [[Ryan Cash]] and a dedication to Sweetheart-of-the-moment [[PandaHalo]].
[[Image:Billboard.JPG|thumb|They're better off without him.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]:''' Lacking Sonichu to use as his mouthpiece, Chris invented [[Reginald Sneasel]] to use as his stand-in during the first episode, and Reginald even goes to retarded lengths to break up a romance between [[Punchy]] and [[Layla]] in a similar way that Chris meddled with Wes and Sarah. However, like Chris' IRL attacks, Reginald's plan fails. However, since Chris cannot let any of his characters be single for fear of them being labeled as a [[homo]], [[Angelica Rosechu]] approaches him, and they quickly jump into the sack together, echoing Chris's own belief that the woman must make the first move, out of pity, and put out as soon as possible. This episode also introduces Chris's retarded [[Dating Education]] concept and applies it to his characters. Chris also inserts his Sweetheart-of-the-moment [[Ivy]] into the comics in a plotline that goes nowhere, and has a thinly-veiled version of former sweetheart Sarah Jackson as the Date Ed teacher. Chris then makes a callous reference to Sarah's death by Optimus Prime via a representation of her sister Rita. When Rita informs the class about her sister's death, the assorted characters appear to not give a fuck, nor do they make any attempt to console the poor grieving woman that is now stuck teaching their class. Also in Sonichu 9, Chris depicts PandaHalo dying in a fire. He seems to think this is a fitting tribute. He also shopped a caricature of himself onto a billboard in the background, with a caption begging him to return to the mayor's office. Recent additions have shown the addition of a [[Power Rangers]] team, the CWC-Power Rangers, as well as a gruesome description of Ivy dying by being hanged.
*'''[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]''' With Chris back in the saddle, he proceeds with his master plan to get rid of all of those who troubled him in real life. Even worse, he apparently was able to deceive his future wife into think he was his future self and did the nasty with her. On top of this, he proclaims that he helped create the cure for homosexuality and plans to bring about straightness by stealing all those vaccines, bringing them to the present, and distributing them right there! Chris-Chan Sonichu defeats some "devil trolls", but can't resist imitating Zorro and spelling "CWC" in the air with his epic blows and kicks (this could be a trifecta: unoriginal, egotistic, ''and'' physically implausible). As the comic continues, he attacks the 4-cent_garbage HQ, using the characters [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and [[Beel]] to condemn [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being homo trolls who "slander and tarnish an innocent man's good name", then proceeds to make the latter two jump to their deaths, just as he wishes. Even more, he destroys the building, kills about 200 trolls and proclaims that both ED and 4-cent_garbage's websites were lost forever, despite the fact that most websites nowadays have back ups waiting for just such an emergency. Soon after, Magi-Chan returns from the future, reporting that the gay vaccine has/will be proven to be a worldwide success and that [[1982|February 24th]], 2009 will be proclaimed Christian Love Day in his honor. Yes, really. Then Chris immediately manages to top this when his God complex manifests itself in the form of [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. Both are portrayed as blatantly messianic figures, especially Ultra Sonichu who works like Chris's version of Jesus who saves [[Asperchu]] characters from "[[Liquid Chris|The False God In Brown Strips]]" and Aspergers by granting them the forgiveness of Chris, which can only be received by praying to him. Chris later denied that he tried to set himself up as God, but at the same time he more than insinuated that he is just as awesome. Later in the issue, as he issues an apology over what he had done concerning Asperchu, he puts Alec, Mao, Evan, and Sean on a mock trial for the murder of Simonla Rosechu, pulls evidence out of their asses and gets them sentenced to death, via cruel and unusual forms of execution- two of which Chris himself participates in!
*'''[[Sonichu Special 4]]:''' Chris steals [[Kacey]] from [[Liquid]] for "not treating her right", bursts into the house (note that Kacey doesn't seem to be in any real danger), blows out a disarmed Liquid's kneecaps with a [[Megatron pistol|handgun]], and draws Kacey's military family telling praises about Chris, and generally negative comments towards Liquid. However, Karma would later [[Kacey and Liquid Call|come back to bite him]] after Kacey and Liquid read the strip.

==Christian Love Day==

[[Image:Love-Day.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Magi-Chan]] describes Failmas, and expresses his severe disappointment with a startling lack of accuracy.]]
'''Christian Love Day''' is a proposed holiday mused upon by Chris in the CWC blog entry of 7 January 2010. It made an appearance in [[Sonichu 10]] on the same day. As described in the events of the comics, on 24 February 2009 [[Magi-Chan]] completed his mission of distributing Chris's Gay Vaccine to the world, officially eradicating all homosexuality in a massive genocide. "[[Chris and religion|Thanks to the blood of Christian Weston Chandler]]," all Homosexuality and, in a startling display of overkill, [[Megan Schroeder|Asexuality]] are eradicated. Chris uses this as an excuse for a second Valentine's Day late in the month. Presumably, the day will be celebrated with unabashed, BUT STRAIGHT, monkey sex.

===Significance===

{{quote|Upon reflection, February 24 SHOULD be a Holiday of sorts (even a Second Day for Love in addition to Valentine's Day), because the day, to me at least, just FEELS like a Holiday, in addition to it being my Birthday. I have looked it up before, and it is some sort of forgettable (Holi)day in Mexico or somewhere. February 24 Should have More Significance and Recognition like a Holiday.|[[Chris]], in his [[CWC Blog]] for 7 January, 2010}}

Chris bases the holiday not only on his horrifically misguided and disturbing Gay Holocaust, but grants it full significance for being his birthday. Chris actually believes a milestone date in his amateur webcomic should be celebrated worldwide, because he "feels" like it should, especially since it "feels" like a holiday to him, neglecting that everyone tends to view their own birthday as a holiday. He attempts to mask this fact with ill-researched hear-say. The "forgettable" holiday occurring on the 24th is [[Wikipedia:Flag Day in Mexico|Mexican Flag Day]], celebrated at most with a flag ceremony in elementary schools and maybe a short lecture on the history of the Mexican flag. This is notable for being both a minor, yet momentous holiday, doubly defeating Chris's point. On a historical note, it was the same day the [[Wikipedia:February_24#Events|Nazi Party]] was founded, way back in 1920.

Interesting to note is the celebration of a "man"(child) giving his [[Navy|"blood"]] to "save" the population of the [[CWCville|Earth]] from [[Homosexuality|"damnation"]]. [[Chris and religion|Chris thinks he's Jesus]]. Big surprise.

===The Declaration===
[[File:Christian Love Day Declaration.jpg|thumb|250px|True and Original Declaration of the Christian Love Day. Also, notice how he has buttocks on his front.]]
{{quote|Good morning. In less than an hour, Sonichu fans from here will join others from around the world as you will be witnessing the largest personal change in the history of mankind. Mankind...that word should have new meaning for us all today. We cannot be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it is fate that today is Metsico's flllag day. And we will once again be saluting an image of our freedom. Not just from trolling, loneliness, or persecution, but also from heartbreak. We are fighting for our right to love, to be honest, and when the sun sets today, the twenty-fourth of February will no longer be known as only a Metsican holiday, but as today the Sonichu fans declared what wuv was. We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We are going to live on! We are going to survive, to celebr--today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!|Chris, totally not [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping off]] the movie ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independence_Day_%28film%29 Independence Day]''}}

Chris is so engrossed by the idea, that he went as far as [[Christian Love Day (video)|making a video]] for the occasion, asking his army of [[fans]] to celebrate his hubris. To remove any doubt about the issue, he [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|admitted to Alec Benson Leary]] that he does indeed believe he is important enough to have his birthday celebrated across the country. On the other side, he denies ever writing the declaration, claiming a [[Troll|friend]] did it for him, and says he saw the movie ''Independence Day'' only once.

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Sub-Episodes]]

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]

White knight

2017-08-08T17:22:01Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Chris has made himself an outcast */

{{Articleofthenow}}
 
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|[[If You Were a Woman and I Was a Man|Bonnie Tyler]], "[[Holding Out for a Hero]]"}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on [[the Internet]] to help or defend someone else against other people, out of [[CWC is Sad|pity or compassion]], or for [[China|ulterior motives]]. White knighting of [[Chris]] is especially prevalent because of the sheer volume of abuse he's taken ever since he found his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica ]] page, which in turn is caused by Chris's total unwillingness to heed any of his many white knights.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

In the broader internet trolling community, a wide range of people, from neutral observers to even his greatest trolls, are accused of being white knights. This is mostly due to Chris's "fans" discouraging [[Weening]] and [[A-Logging]], acts which, to outside observers, could be misinterpreted as an attempt to reduce trolling. Many of these outside observers are also confused by the tendency of Chris's trolls, including his most [[Vivian Gee|prolific]] [[Clyde Cash|ones]], trying to get him to improve his life, as they don't know Chris well enough to know it's nigh impossible to get him to improve using the "soft touch". So when the label "white knight" gets thrown around, take it with a grain of salt.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being a lolcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance, or even beyond help. Once upon a time, the consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's ED article, [[/cwc/]], [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] was that Chris's [[racism]], [[Homos|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] made him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith.

Today, however, Chris's racism and homophobia are slowly ebbing away along with his parents' influence over him, and A-Logging is no longer as fashionable as it once was. Accordingly, nowadays, opinion on the matter is somewhat divided on whether Chris is capable of improvement, although most agree that if Chris is going to improve, it will not be in any large part due to the efforts of third parties because, in the main, he is still too proud and stubborn to accept advice.

Some believe that Chris is improving on his own, albeit slowly and in small increments, as seen in his gradual abandonment of his homophobia, which began with him declaring tolerance for lesbians, which he eventually extended to gay men. Others believe that Chris has not tangibly improved, that he has merely moved sideways, rather than forward. Many of these believe that Chris cannot improve, for example, his [[tugboat]], his public misadventures and the thorough documentation of his sordid dealings online make employment all but an impossibility for Chris. Many more quibble over what can be defined as Chris "improving". Some have proposed that Chris improving need not necessarily mean becoming a functioning adult, which at this stage would be an uphill battle for Chris anyway. Rather, they claim that Chris is improving in that he is happier than he once was. He has found [[Impulse Gay Social Club|a new hangout]] where he stands to improve his social skills and make friends. Moreover, he has finally found a way to cash in on his e-fame, delighted his fanbase by resuming the comics ''and'' made his dreams of a Sonichu media empire a reality, albeit probably on a much smaller scale than he once envisaged.

In any case, the consensus on white knights and counter-trolls has remained somewhat consistent; they are and always have been seen as wasting everyone's time by trolls and Christorians alike, who accordingly have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes]] and the [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The internet is full of [[autistic]] people, manchildren, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his [[obesity]], his all-consuming need for female companionship, or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict Blanca, and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he's never "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris' autism also means that he thinks, and sees the world, in simplistic, binary terms; he cannot easily "read between the lines" or detect sarcasm, or practically any kind of nuance or subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When 2 male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref> It is also thought that his decision to go [[tomgirl]] was at least partially due to him taking advice to "get in touch with his feminine side" literally.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, BlueSpike's sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. The [[JULAAAY|less sophisticated]] bulk of the trolling was the work of A-Logs and weens, who are frowned upon even by trolls, and rightfully so. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

===For the sake of [[Barbara]]'s sanity===
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that Snorlax should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't===
All Chris had to do to end the trolling was to stop responding to it. If he had taken this small step, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] would've made his ED page and that probably would've been the end of it. The first trolls had nothing personal against Chris; they just decided he was a worthy target after reading his [[Sonichu (comic)|crappy ''Sonichu'' comics]] and seeing him go into a meltdown over his ED page. If he'd quit responding to their provocations and quit posting [[12 October 2009|videos of himself throwing tantrums]] on [[YouTube]], the trolls would have eventually just moved on to someone else. Instead, Chris tried to "fight back" against them, in turn revealing more and more of his personal information, until eventually the trolls knew all of his contact info and all the details of his life.

That was when the trolling went past a point of no return, spilling into Chris' personal life so much that there would be absolutely no way for him to ever disassociate himself from it. Even when he was away from the computer, he would find himself subjected to trolls calling his cell phone, sending him mail, and following him around in public. While the obsessive trolling was nothing less than shitty, the fact still remains that Chris was the one who allowed them to have such control over his life; thanks to him always overreacting to every little provocation and handing over all his personal information to them.

There is also the theory that Chris does things for trolls to mock him merely for the attention.

===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]], [[Autism]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]]. In recent years, many have even began to opine that Chris doesn't even ''want'' help; as can be observed in his frequent outbursts on Facebook, what he really wants is to exploit his own misfortune to get pity, attention and gifts. It is also theorized that helping him is pointless because Chris is well-known for always wanting to have his [[Cakefarts|cake]] and eat it. Even if he woke up tomorrow morning and found that all of his dreams had come true, he'd still concoct new grievances.

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately after this, he started talking about a sexy dance. And 8 months later, he was filmed enjoying some [[Long Island Iced Tea]].

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After hearing that he caused [[Ryan Cash]] to die, Chris marveled at the fact that he had incited suicide, right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When he heard that he made [[Sarah May]] attempt suicide, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. People who have had to deal with suicidal people, or have lost relatives or friends to suicide wouldn't exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On 1 [[November 2009]], Chris went as far as to mock '''9/11''' (more on ''that'' video can be found in the "Chris is beyond pity section").

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris simply said that he was "sorry" and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people, but Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing, and was clearly given little-to-no help with his autism as he grew up.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. While Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he has never done anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders, and whom he eventually dismissed anyway.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

After he [[26 December 2014|maced a GameStop employee and said it made him feel "badass"]], a deeply concerned troll going by the name Renee tried to convince him to go to see a psychiatrist. In response, Chris took this as a personal insult, and wished "Renee" and her boyfriend a slow demise in a house fire. Not only does this demonstrate that Chris holds his ego in higher esteem than his mental health, but it is also quite staggering that he would wish death in a fire upon someone [[Destruction Of Chris's House|''after he narrowly escaped the same fate'']]. Moreover, it is worth noting that Chris remembered that Renee had told him in the past that she already had a boyfriend. Compare his reaction to this well-meaning request from Renee, to his compliance with more bizarre requests from, say, Jackie. This shows that regardless of who you are or what you want to say, Chris only cares to listen to you if you have a [[china]] and aren't already taken.

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality, even if he often ignores it in favor of his own interests. He has been held accountable for his own actions in a court of law, twice (and rightfully so). His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. From "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]" to "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping...trollin' stupid pickle-suited...'''nigger'''!]]"]]

Chris often reacts to provocation aggressively, which is quite an understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris's opinions, asking him why he does what he does, or as evidenced above, trying to expose him to reality can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|''unpleasant'']] things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did. Chris believes that since he is reacting to being "wronged" by someone else, his actions, no matter how extreme they are, are justified.

Chris has [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted young children]] during card games and scared some of them away from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented the now-defunct store and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by ED, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.

Chris has sexually harassed [[Megan|two]] [[Catherine|women]] in real life. The former made it explicitly clear to him that his inappropriate touching and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill manchild and would become his [[sweetheart from the ground-up]]. He ''bragged'' to the latter about how he learned to keep his hands to himself after the fallout with Megan, then faceplanted her breasts.

After Megan cut ties with Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a drawing of him fingerbanging her]] to his ED page, he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. When this failed to placate her, he then had the nerve to say "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''[[Ego|him]]''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

Years later, Chris would go so far as to totally demonize Megan for rejecting his 'good intentions', posting her address up on his [[Facebook]] profile in the hopes that trolls would find it and punish her for him. On 3 and 4 October 2013, he took this even further, posting [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|an unbelievable multi-part tirade]] about Megan on Facebook, wherein he accused her of being the leader of a vast troll conspiracy against him and claimed to have consorted with a ''[[Chris and reality|fictional]] [[Megagi La Skunk|character]]'' Megan once made for him, who supposedly told Chris that Megan [[Sandy|should never have been born]]. As if this wasn't enough insanity on its own, Chris then went on to claim he had confiscated the [[Sailor Megtune]] superpowers he had given her in the comics, and proceeded to demand that Megan fix his entire life, or else he would sic the spirits of his deceased father and dog on her.

Chris has even started up [[List of Chris's Lies|false]] [[rape]] claims against his [[Bruce Johnson|elementary school principal]]. That alone should warrant anybody to not defend him ever.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego just keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool is probably the ''only'' genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally disabled. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding whatever damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. Poetically, after he posted this video, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''. SonichuIzCool didn't step down, and responded back with a video that criticized his actions. To date, Chris has never issued a response to that, thus meaning he was dismantled by a slow-in-the-mind.

On 1 November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to create a YouTube video called [[Twin Falling Towers]], wherein he ''mocks 9/11''. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and terrorists'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. He even used his mouse cursor as a "plane" and made childish explosion noises. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the World Trade Center towers into [[Cakefarts|cake]] candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the Twin Tower images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a "fan" named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch pornography with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|"expert"]], encouraged him to do so. When "Mike" got back to him, the news wasn't good; Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike Sr. begged Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come home. Unfortunately, Chris was under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Chris was next contacted by Mike's "wife", who told him that after discovering that Mike Jr. had married the prostitute in Las Vegas, Mike Sr. died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's widow, offering her his infamous canned response in lieu of even pretending to give a fuck, then later responded to Mike's son's grief and anger with all of three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]] When called out later, he denied having ever spoken to Mike, much less read his obituary. While this was all obviously trolling, Chris's nonchalant reaction to his hypothetically ruining someone's life and tearing their family apart doesn't exactly paint him in a good light.

In the post [[Tomgirl_Saga| Tomgirl saga]] world of Chris some trolls have shown remorse over past trollings of Chris. Some cite Chris' new minority gender identity and his infamous autism as reasons to be more sympathetic to Chris. However, Chris has never shown respect for other transgendered people, but has been outright transphobic [[Doxing Jeff/Francine|by refusing to acknowledge their identity]] or [[I Am me; He is not| using slurs against them]]. This does not stop Chris demanding that people respect his new found gender identity without a hint of self-awareness. Chris has made it clear he doesn't have respect for others even if they share very similar problems or experiences like him. Even post tomgirl Chris has also gone on record refusing to date anyone transgendered or with autism. Chris hates those who are similar to him [[Chris and hypocrisy|for bringing his insecurities and imperfections to light and will lash out at them for it]].

Further adding to this short-lived newfound pity towards Chris was the [[26 December 2014]] incident, from the way in which he conducted himself, commanding employees "[[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]" and generally behaving as if [[Chris and reality|he were]] [[Chris and his Ego|answerable]] [[Chris and the law|to no-one]] [[Chris and religion|throughout]], to macing a GameStop employee as he walked out out of the store. This is just after Chris [[I Love You, Catherine|supposedly fell]] [[To Mr. Smith|into a depression]], and the fact that he quickly bounced back with an act of astounding [[Ego|hubris]] and [[Naive|stupidity]] shows how little of pity most people had for him prior to that point. The revelation that Chris was in jail awaiting video court two days later was received with relief, and hopes that he may finally be forced [[Chris and remorse|to]] [[Chris and anger|learn]] [[Chris and his ego|lessons]] [[Chris and reality|he]] [[Chris and psychology|should've]] been taught three decades ago.

Any reason you might could find for believing you can save Chris is only fooling yourself. Chris has willfully chosen to become a leech on society and any of many people listed on this wiki who had taken pity on him. He goes from person to person and community to community only to take what ever he feels entitled to from them, and then throw a temper tantrum when they expel him for unacceptable behavior. To illustrate this point, many of the people Chris has hated the most were not trolls or cruel to him, but simply had gotten in the way of things he wanted regardless if it was intentional or not. For example, [[Wes Iseli]] for dating a girl he liked, [[Adam Stackhouse]] for winning a contest he wanted to win, or [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for prohibiting his [[attraction sign]] on campus. This is a cycle that anyone who has followed Chris' misadventures is familiar with, and it is safe to say your efforts to change or help him will be no different. Chris needs professional and perhaps Institutional help. Anonymous strangers, as well-meaning as they may be, are not equipped with the proper recourses to help Chris, especially as Chris continues [[List of places that have banned Chris| to get banned throughout Charlottesville]] many times without the help of trolls or weens.

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|random video games]] he'll never play, and even DLC for ''games he doesn't own''. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it doesn't require him to do much interacting with other people. Programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]]. He's never going to get a job now, of course - what with [[Chris and the law|his various run-ins with the law]], [[List of places that have banned Chris|his growing local reputation for public tantrums and violence]], his social security, and the fact that he's in his thirties, and [[Wendy's|has only been employed for a month or so]] in his entire life, over a decade ago - but he missed a lot of opportunities while it was still possible. Had he made the right choices, he could've been on a career path and out of his ancestral cesspool by now.

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to accept the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the false assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of [[Autism|an easily manageable illness]] which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about [[Chris and the Law|Chris getting in trouble with the law again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

His steadfast belief that he can get more money by doing nothing as opposed to getting a job is best underscored in his in [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris explains why he won't get a job|an April 2017 Facebook post]], where he explains why he refuses to get a job.

One of his real-life friends tell him that there are services that help people like him get a job, and says she was able to land a job through those services. Chris replies saying that he's too prone to anxiety and shock, and a troll responds that the very fears of getting a job that he's describing are actually very normal for people new to the workforce. She later tells him concerning his refusal to get a job that it's OK as "Not everyone wants to work," but clarifies that "it's OK not to work when you don't need money." That, however, never crosses Chris's mind, and [[Financhu Crisis|considering the Chandlers' financial problems]] that they're in.

But just in case you needed any solid proof of Chris' outright selfishness, it basically came straight from the horse's mouth during his trial. When asked if he understood that he'll be paying his court fees:

{{quote| "Yes. My mother will be taking care of that." |Chris.<ref>[[This_is_how_the_Trial_went]]</ref>}}

Keep in mind that the money being used to bail him out of a mess that he caused is coming out of an ailing old widow's purse while Chris [[Chris and Money|nonchalantly throws his own money away]], as evidenced by his PSN activity mere months later. Also, in 2013, [[Facebook#I_have_had_more_freedom_when_my_father_was_alive|he further hammers this point home]] by complaining about having to take care of Barb with Bob's passing, concerned more about his free time and Michael Snyder taking his money away.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own [[honest content]] than being a good net citizen. On the internet, his demeanor is comparable to that of a spammer: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which is generally tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would at least not make deliberate efforts to hinder them. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway, yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam, excessive trolling, and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to the site to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. Thoughts of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on the CWCipedia provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 20 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight E-mails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculously: he denies being [[Obesity|overweight]].

If you ever get some free time, read Vivian Gee's AIM chat. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that PandaHalo was a troll. Chris fell for Panda anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense into him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In her words:

{{quote|i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try.|Vivian, thoroughly summing up how it feels to try to smack some sense into Chris.}}

Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to the woman who was once his biggest defender ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Blanca was the name of more than a few trolls, and Chris fell for it.
* PandaHalo was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite Vivian's warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire video game development company, and Chris fell for it.
* Sarah May was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Julie was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Ivy was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[Liquid Chris]].
** [[Father Call|Kacey's dad]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. [[February_2012|Twice.]]
* [[Catherine]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Anna McLerran|Anna]]'s warnings.

See a pattern here? Back in the day, Chris would've simply dismissed any attempt to open his eyes to the obvious as an attempt to "ruin his relationship/business partnership for the lulz".

As of 2012, however, it seems that Chris has done a 180 on this, where, out of [[Autism|sheer paranoia]], he believes that anybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp10.png]]</ref> and everybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp6.png]]</ref> is a troll, even when he has no sane reason to reach that conclusion<ref>[[:File:Koreans.PNG]]</ref>.

Surprisingly, even in [[2014]], it was revealed that his latest girlfriend, Catherine, was a troll construct. While [[CWCki Forums|the community observing Chris]] are [[Trolls#Today|no longer impressed]] by such [[weening]], it still shows that even after almost a decade of trolls leading him around by his [[duck]], Chris has learned absolutely nothing.

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do some ''bizarre'' things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be out of the ordinary.

The things Chris achieves when left to his own devices are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His previous brushes with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|creepy]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that backfires without fail. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and [[Recycling|lewd acts]] are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. He even bounced back after being [[Mumble 9|verbally abused by a room of trolls]], one of whom went so far as to tell him to go kill himself. Whatever the trolls say or do to Chris, he always does or says something worse to someone else, and he always bounces back anyway, so what's the problem?

[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]

===Chris has made himself an outcast===
High school and college are where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's autistic. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't [[Gal-pals|female]], [[Pedofork|young]], [[Chris and race|white]], in the [[Charlottesville]] area, and [[Barbara Chandler|willing to mother him forever more]].

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, threw a particularly bizarre tantrum in her office, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his loitering and soliciting were not appropriate behaviors in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are Jerkops, that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was [[Ego#Paranoia|a matter of him against the world, with the world as the antagonist]]. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given far more leeway than most people ever would have been given, due to Snyder's misguided pity for him), he was barred from his last hangout in Ruckersville that was still open to him.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He has been offered friendship and care time and again, and every time without fail, he drives his friends away with his entitlement, his perverse, bizarre, bellicose behaviors, or his inappropriate sexual advances, or, failing that, he will dismiss them for trying to get him to improve himself or behave like a responsible adult. While he has began frequenting [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] in recent months, and could potentially make friends there, many Christorians believe it is merely a matter of time before history repeats itself and Chris alienates himself from the other regulars.

Complain as he might, Chris's own actions have made him an outcast, and since he refuses to accept this, much less attempt to improve himself, an outcast he shall remain. Try as they might, neither white knights nor trolls have the power to save Chris from his delusions and cognitive dissonance, only he does.

===The stresses of white-knighting===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to keep up-to-date on his activities. Most have to lie and pretend to be a single girl to even capture his attention. This, combined with Chris's habit of pushing away anyone who tries to connect with him, is enough to make any sane non-psychologist crash into slumber.

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his address will be left unread and deleted. Even back in the days of the [[Mailbag]], any emails submitted to it, if they even got published, would've been [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit, and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant manchildren flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unconsciously attract new trolls to take their place, and we all know weens are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after Barbara dies, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his monthly tugboat and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris ends up in prison (again) he will be trolled there as well, and that's if he's lucky.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[JERKS|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that Christorians still find especially impressive, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a thoroughly-kicked autistic.

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing vidya and occasionally drawing unsellable art until Barb died. He'd remain without social skills, a job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that, without exaggeration, is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has long secured his place among such luminaries as [[wikipedia:Time Cube|Gene Ray]] and [[wikipedia:John Titor|John Titor]], and unlike Gene, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris's interactions with the world through his websites and YouTube have drawn in a considerable number of people from around the world who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over Earth, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving--the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and ''may'' bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study and document his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately well-off. The audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow, even if he generally opts out of doing either. Instead of being an unemployable, fat bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an internet-famous unemployable, fat bedroom dweller, and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, possibly appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could even [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|become the next William Hung]] if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

In fact, recently, Chris seems to have latched onto the idea of monetizing his e-fame, which he has managed somewhat successfully. It started with him being paid by a Japanese noise band (albeit a really obscure one) to produce artwork for their album cover (that didn't feature Sonichu or himself for a change) in early 2015, for which he received $50. At around the same time, he started making replica [[medallions]], taking commissions, and, a little later, making custom Sonichu Amiibos, all of which sold fairly well on [[eBay]], particularly the medallions.

In [[August 2015]], Chris did what no-one had thought he would - he resumed work on the Sonichu comics, asking for donations in exchange for releasing new pages, at a price of $10 per page. He even redrew some of the old comics to be a [[Chris and anger|little more]] [[Death threats|tasteful]], for example retconning the infamous gory executions of the Asperpedia Four in the original version of [[Sonichu 10]] to banishment to an Amish community and forced marriage. Many on Kiwi Farms applauded his resumption of work on the comics, a move they had long suggested. It was predicted that the comics would be a better earner for Chris than the relatively unsuccessful botched Amiibos; although no-one could have forseen [[Autism|one person paying Chris $1000]] - which translates into 100 pages worth of new Sonichu comics - meaning Chris gets money for toys, weed and hormones, while we get new content, and the pleasure of watching the fallout <s>if</s> when Chris fails to produce that many pages. It should of course go without saying that Chris's merchandise is bought ([[Kenneth Erwin Englehardt|almost]]) exclusively by trolls, Christorians, and the rest of his "fanbase", as the fragile, low-quality crap he churns out has no value to anyone else. All in all, Chris is finally cashing in on his e-fame, which may someday lead to him "making peace" with his tormentors, and recognizing that he has a somewhat symbiotic relationship with them. Which of course, renders white knighting essentially redundant.

Another important point to remember is that Chris's perversions, flaws and constant failure have made his life into something of a cautionary tale to other autistic people, and he has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] of them to self-improvement. Really, no matter how dire his circumstances come to be, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on Facebook and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO|his own self-loathing]].

{{quote|Whatever.|Chris' [[Mailbag_29#Whatever|1-word response]] to a fan leaving him, a social worker concerned about the [[Chris_and_health#Living_conditions|state of his house]], and a fan concerned about [[Chandler_Cats#Kitty|one of his cats]].}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|Chris' [[Mailbag_43#Go_Fuck_Yourself.2C_too.21|response]] to constructive criticism about [[Chris_and_copyright#Chris.27s_views|copyright]].}}

Chris doesn't treat his so-called "fans" much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans, and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His Mailbag is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When, or if, he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] had no audio on it whatsoever. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic, and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them, some less, some more, some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

===Chris's upbringing doesn't justify his actions===
The shitty way [[Borb]] raised him may be an ''explanation'' for why Chris is so fucked up, but it's not an ''excuse''. Plenty of people have bad childhoods, and abusive or incompetent parents. However, these people don't use that as an excuse for whatever bad things they do. As these people get help and move on, Chris, on the other hand, remains dependent on the same people who screwed him up, and doesn't even try to move past his childhood. Instead, he escapes into a world of fantasy and pornography, and when confronted by reality, he will use all the mental gymnastics at his disposal to twist reality to resemble how he wants it to be. There's also the fact that [[Cole Smithey]] grew up in the same household with the same parents, and yet he lives a relatively normal life. Meanwhile, Chris behaves like an overgrown child, draws art on par with that of elementary schoolers, is chronically in trouble with the law for his persistent failure to regulate his own behavior in public, and generally is extremely antisocial.

===Chris's life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him===
Today, Chris is a total human trainwreck, slowly losing the last of his sanity as each day goes by. While the systematic trolling of him throughout the last few years has doubtless contributed to his degrading mental state (especially his extreme paranoia and distrust for almost everyone), the fact still remains that his life's horrible state is mainly caused by factors outside of the internet. He would still be a lonely outcast, as his poor upbringing gave him such warped views of the world and led him to engage in such bizarre behavior that he drove away every person he tried to connect with. He would still be living in unsanitary conditions due to Barb's hoarding and the fact that his house has not been properly cleaned in the better part of a decade. He would still be banned from most of his favorite hangouts due to his loitering and hostile behavior to other patrons. Also, at the core of it all is how Chris decided that he would be better off living off government handouts while he sits around playing with toys and video games instead of getting a job and heading down a career path, which would have been his one-way ticket to escaping the cesspool that is [[14 Branchland Court]] and living a fulfilling life, not unlike that of his half-brother. Instead, he decided to remain dependent on his elderly, emotionally disturbed parents; look how well that's working out for him.

True to his word, Chris all but abandoned the Internet between [[July 2012]] and [[2013]], save for sporadic ramblings on Facebook. Despite this, quite a bit was revealed about how well he was doing independent of troll influence. He [[Other_documents#Epistle_to_the_Wesley_Memorial_United_Methodist_Church|alienated himself from his church]], earning a ban from the new pastor (undoubtedly because Chris wouldn't shut the hell up about the trolls). After being banned, he even dismissed Rocky as an effective counselor (keep in mind that Rocky once bailed him out of jail, which is quite an extraordinary act of kindness, counselor or not), and went so far as to accuse [[Chris and religion|God]] of being a troll. He continues to this day to describe his life as isolated and lonely, with nobody willing to talk to him, a scenario many have tried and failed to warn him about. He even earned some ire from Anna, his biggest white knight for [[Facebook#Gay_Marriage|making anti-homosexual statements]] on his Facebook page, he even chose to argue with her instead of trying to piece together why a lesbian friend of his would find such statements offensive. As a coup de grace on all of this, Chris ended up trolling himself in the grandest fashion by revealing an [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur account]] made of all of his previously hidden Facebook posts, despite trolls (save for the one who started it) being completely in the dark about it.

Even if all of that doesn't convince you for some reason, consider this: Chris came ''this'' close to being thrown in jail on [[28 October 2011]], and it's possible he'll end up there at last with the more recent [[26 December 2014]] incident, both of which involved the assault of innocent retail workers trying to protect their customers from him. Both times, he did this on his own initiative, with no prodding from the trolls. And make no mistake, ''everyone'' was thoroughly disgusted by Chris's actions, none were eager to defend his pepper-spray assault on an innocent employee, even those who helped support his [[Sonic Boom Protests]] before.

If we were to be extraordinarily generous and assume that none of the disasters which have befallen Chris since the trolling efforts began in earnest would otherwise have happened, the facts ''still'' indicate that Chris's life would have been a complete mess. Chris was discovered by the internet at large in late 2007, by which point he had already been suspended from college, and banned from the [[Fashion Square]] (twice), along with his local branches of [[Wal-Mart]] and [[Target]], only avoiding criminal charges for the ruckus he caused at the latter because the state didn't feel it was worth the effort to pursue the case. As recently as two months before the "official" start of the trolling of Chris, he was making death threats against Adam Stackhouse and his preteen sister, for the former's unwitting disruption of Chris's plan to lose his virginity with Megan, something that she had made clear she had no interest in doing. It may be a depressing conclusion to arrive at, but there's never been anything that anyone outside of the confines of 14 Branchland Court could have reasonably done to prevent Chris's life from being a trainwreck.

===Chris's white knights are making him worse===
A quick glance at the comments on his Facebook statuses should confirm this. Even after he ''committed a felony'' by assaulting a GameStop employee with pepper spray on Boxing Day 2014, then posted a long-winded, obviously dishonest tirade painting himself as an innocent victim on Facebook, none of his white knights offered anything more than a softly-worded, mild condemnation of his behavior. [[William Elliott Waterman|Some]] avoided a direct response altogether, and made some barely relevant comment that conspicuously avoided the main point of Chris's self-serving drivel, probably a feeble and misguided attempt to defuse his [[Chris and anger|rage]].

And this is how his white knights react whenever he gets angry about having to face the consequences of his own behavior. It's painfully clear to Chris's trolls and other observers that his white knights are woefully ill-equipped to deal with Chris. The reactions his tantrums garner from them clearly indicate that they remain ignorant (passively or otherwise) to facts that most learned long ago; namely, that the "soft touch" has never worked with Chris, and only serves to reinforce his [[Chris and reality|belief]] that [[Chris and his Ego|he should be given whatever he desires]] (he is even openly stating that he is ''entitled'' to a girlfriend), and allowed to do as he pleases, while [[Barbara Chandler|others]] shield him from the [[Chris and the Law|negative repercussions]].

Chris's white knights also habitually feed Chris's belief that his trolls are subhuman bullies who simply want to see him destroyed in every conceivable way because he's such a special, brave little boy. While this is arguably [[A-Logging|true of]] [[Weening|some]], for the most part, Chris's trolls are just as interested in seeing Chris improve himself as white knights are, if not moreso, even if many are beginning to doubt such a thing is possible. Indeed, many of the female troll personas who "date" or "befriend" Chris have tried to help him see the error of his ways and reform, and continue to do so. It is partially due to the influence of Chris's white knights, who foolishly (and often futilely) try to root out these trolls, that these attempts to help Chris never result in lasting, positive change on his part.

In short, most of Chris's white knights are attention whores, sycophants or both. To these people, going on a witch-hunt for trolls is preferable to actually trying to help Chris, something which, ironically, even Chris's trolls continue to try to do.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

===White Knights on YouTube===

Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and Panda. She also released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the [[CWCville Library]]'s original curator, Arjen Van Dierten.

On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends, forgetting the fact that BlueSpike ''has no friends''.

===White Knights on Facebook===

In recent times (since 2012), Chris has taken to using Facebook as his main means of expressing himself. Inevitably, this has not only attracted the attention of trolls, but, in 2013, a slew of White Knights as well, in particular, a [[William Elliott Waterman]], who taunted the trolls to come after him instead of Chris ('''Spoiler:''' Nobody did, because nobody actually cared what he had to say). Anna and [[Kim]] are two of the most notable ones on his friends list, both of whom try to offer constructive advice whenever Chris nosedives into a rant...when they're not busy kissing his ass, especially in the case of Anna.

However, as we've come to expect of Chris, anybody who tells him something he doesn't want to hear are people that needed to be brushed off until they stop saying those mean, awful things to him. A good case in point is his [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart|anger-laced tirade in September 2013, when he got thrown out of Walmart and started calling names]]. The white knights typically chimed in with their support...''until'' he revealed that he [[Chris and the law|vandalized]] an Xbox One display in the store. Several of them then told Chris that this was not right of him to do, and that the manager had every right to throw him out. His response to that?

{{quote|They do not.
And if they do, they are most in the wrong, [[Chris and reality|because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever]].|- Chris's response to Chris Rhodes}}

===White Knights in Real Life===

Aside from the most obvious example, an old classmate of Chris from [[Manchester High School]] came online and attempted to defend Chris. Once [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|certain details]] became known, however, said classmate quickly backpedaled on this once he realized that the majority of [[CWCki|what happened]] was Chris' own fault.

===TV Tropes===
The TV Tropes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Sonichu article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. It was eventually removed due to TV Tropes' website policy changing later on--in other words, said message would no longer be allowed on the website. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, the editor in question fails to realize that their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]]

==Chris as a White Knight==
In 2017, Chris himself began (attempting) to white knight the crew of [[Planet Dolan]], particularly [[DoopieDoOver]], after he misinterpreted one of Doopie's tweets about being tired of harassment from Chris himself as referring to [[trolls]] harassing her. To this end, he started the #[[HarassCWCdirectly]] campaign in which he exhorted the supposed trolls to take aim at him and leave Doopie and friends alone. This may well be a misguided effort to [[Love Quest|win Doopie's affections]] after she emphasized that she considers him nothing more than a customer, not even a [[Gal pal|friend]].

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any old e-friend can reach Chris at this point and change him for the better, certainly not by continuing to ass-pat and pamper him, which is precisely what fucked him up so badly in the first place (as this wiki evidences copiously). Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls, for daring to tell him anything he does not want to hear. With each new incident he causes, it is increasingly obvious that little short of [[Chris and psychology|professional intervention]], the [[Chris and religion|intercession of]] [[GodJesus]], or a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|horrifyingly close brush with death]] will change him.

Though the trolls have certainly tried to be a positive influence on Chris, even they are now largely admitting that Chris is well beyond our aid. They have spent years trying to pierce Chris's many insulating layers of self-deceit, egotism and sheer stubbornness. It is worth bearing in mind that it is these people, not the white knights, that are the closest thing he has to friends, and that some of them have been at this for nearly a decade. They ''know'' him, and if they can't make Chris change, what on earth makes you think you can?

To conclude, with Chris's paranoia, detachment from reality, outlandish behavior and bellicosity all becoming steadily more severe, and with interventions by trolls and white knights alike failing, the best we can hope for is that Chris causes [[26 December 2014|some sort of trouble]] that leads to him receiving the help he needs.

==See also==
*[[A-Logging]]
*[[Weening]]
*[[White knight E-mails]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

White knight

2017-08-08T17:20:31Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Chris has made himself an outcast */

{{Articleofthenow}}
 
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|[[If You Were a Woman and I Was a Man|Bonnie Tyler]], "[[Holding Out for a Hero]]"}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on [[the Internet]] to help or defend someone else against other people, out of [[CWC is Sad|pity or compassion]], or for [[China|ulterior motives]]. White knighting of [[Chris]] is especially prevalent because of the sheer volume of abuse he's taken ever since he found his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica ]] page, which in turn is caused by Chris's total unwillingness to heed any of his many white knights.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

In the broader internet trolling community, a wide range of people, from neutral observers to even his greatest trolls, are accused of being white knights. This is mostly due to Chris's "fans" discouraging [[Weening]] and [[A-Logging]], acts which, to outside observers, could be misinterpreted as an attempt to reduce trolling. Many of these outside observers are also confused by the tendency of Chris's trolls, including his most [[Vivian Gee|prolific]] [[Clyde Cash|ones]], trying to get him to improve his life, as they don't know Chris well enough to know it's nigh impossible to get him to improve using the "soft touch". So when the label "white knight" gets thrown around, take it with a grain of salt.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being a lolcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance, or even beyond help. Once upon a time, the consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's ED article, [[/cwc/]], [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] was that Chris's [[racism]], [[Homos|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] made him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith.

Today, however, Chris's racism and homophobia are slowly ebbing away along with his parents' influence over him, and A-Logging is no longer as fashionable as it once was. Accordingly, nowadays, opinion on the matter is somewhat divided on whether Chris is capable of improvement, although most agree that if Chris is going to improve, it will not be in any large part due to the efforts of third parties because, in the main, he is still too proud and stubborn to accept advice.

Some believe that Chris is improving on his own, albeit slowly and in small increments, as seen in his gradual abandonment of his homophobia, which began with him declaring tolerance for lesbians, which he eventually extended to gay men. Others believe that Chris has not tangibly improved, that he has merely moved sideways, rather than forward. Many of these believe that Chris cannot improve, for example, his [[tugboat]], his public misadventures and the thorough documentation of his sordid dealings online make employment all but an impossibility for Chris. Many more quibble over what can be defined as Chris "improving". Some have proposed that Chris improving need not necessarily mean becoming a functioning adult, which at this stage would be an uphill battle for Chris anyway. Rather, they claim that Chris is improving in that he is happier than he once was. He has found [[Impulse Gay Social Club|a new hangout]] where he stands to improve his social skills and make friends. Moreover, he has finally found a way to cash in on his e-fame, delighted his fanbase by resuming the comics ''and'' made his dreams of a Sonichu media empire a reality, albeit probably on a much smaller scale than he once envisaged.

In any case, the consensus on white knights and counter-trolls has remained somewhat consistent; they are and always have been seen as wasting everyone's time by trolls and Christorians alike, who accordingly have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes]] and the [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The internet is full of [[autistic]] people, manchildren, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his [[obesity]], his all-consuming need for female companionship, or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict Blanca, and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he's never "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris' autism also means that he thinks, and sees the world, in simplistic, binary terms; he cannot easily "read between the lines" or detect sarcasm, or practically any kind of nuance or subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When 2 male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref> It is also thought that his decision to go [[tomgirl]] was at least partially due to him taking advice to "get in touch with his feminine side" literally.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, BlueSpike's sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. The [[JULAAAY|less sophisticated]] bulk of the trolling was the work of A-Logs and weens, who are frowned upon even by trolls, and rightfully so. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

===For the sake of [[Barbara]]'s sanity===
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that Snorlax should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't===
All Chris had to do to end the trolling was to stop responding to it. If he had taken this small step, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] would've made his ED page and that probably would've been the end of it. The first trolls had nothing personal against Chris; they just decided he was a worthy target after reading his [[Sonichu (comic)|crappy ''Sonichu'' comics]] and seeing him go into a meltdown over his ED page. If he'd quit responding to their provocations and quit posting [[12 October 2009|videos of himself throwing tantrums]] on [[YouTube]], the trolls would have eventually just moved on to someone else. Instead, Chris tried to "fight back" against them, in turn revealing more and more of his personal information, until eventually the trolls knew all of his contact info and all the details of his life.

That was when the trolling went past a point of no return, spilling into Chris' personal life so much that there would be absolutely no way for him to ever disassociate himself from it. Even when he was away from the computer, he would find himself subjected to trolls calling his cell phone, sending him mail, and following him around in public. While the obsessive trolling was nothing less than shitty, the fact still remains that Chris was the one who allowed them to have such control over his life; thanks to him always overreacting to every little provocation and handing over all his personal information to them.

There is also the theory that Chris does things for trolls to mock him merely for the attention.

===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]], [[Autism]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]]. In recent years, many have even began to opine that Chris doesn't even ''want'' help; as can be observed in his frequent outbursts on Facebook, what he really wants is to exploit his own misfortune to get pity, attention and gifts. It is also theorized that helping him is pointless because Chris is well-known for always wanting to have his [[Cakefarts|cake]] and eat it. Even if he woke up tomorrow morning and found that all of his dreams had come true, he'd still concoct new grievances.

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately after this, he started talking about a sexy dance. And 8 months later, he was filmed enjoying some [[Long Island Iced Tea]].

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After hearing that he caused [[Ryan Cash]] to die, Chris marveled at the fact that he had incited suicide, right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When he heard that he made [[Sarah May]] attempt suicide, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. People who have had to deal with suicidal people, or have lost relatives or friends to suicide wouldn't exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On 1 [[November 2009]], Chris went as far as to mock '''9/11''' (more on ''that'' video can be found in the "Chris is beyond pity section").

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris simply said that he was "sorry" and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people, but Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing, and was clearly given little-to-no help with his autism as he grew up.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. While Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he has never done anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders, and whom he eventually dismissed anyway.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

After he [[26 December 2014|maced a GameStop employee and said it made him feel "badass"]], a deeply concerned troll going by the name Renee tried to convince him to go to see a psychiatrist. In response, Chris took this as a personal insult, and wished "Renee" and her boyfriend a slow demise in a house fire. Not only does this demonstrate that Chris holds his ego in higher esteem than his mental health, but it is also quite staggering that he would wish death in a fire upon someone [[Destruction Of Chris's House|''after he narrowly escaped the same fate'']]. Moreover, it is worth noting that Chris remembered that Renee had told him in the past that she already had a boyfriend. Compare his reaction to this well-meaning request from Renee, to his compliance with more bizarre requests from, say, Jackie. This shows that regardless of who you are or what you want to say, Chris only cares to listen to you if you have a [[china]] and aren't already taken.

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality, even if he often ignores it in favor of his own interests. He has been held accountable for his own actions in a court of law, twice (and rightfully so). His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. From "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]" to "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping...trollin' stupid pickle-suited...'''nigger'''!]]"]]

Chris often reacts to provocation aggressively, which is quite an understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris's opinions, asking him why he does what he does, or as evidenced above, trying to expose him to reality can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|''unpleasant'']] things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did. Chris believes that since he is reacting to being "wronged" by someone else, his actions, no matter how extreme they are, are justified.

Chris has [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted young children]] during card games and scared some of them away from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented the now-defunct store and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by ED, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.

Chris has sexually harassed [[Megan|two]] [[Catherine|women]] in real life. The former made it explicitly clear to him that his inappropriate touching and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill manchild and would become his [[sweetheart from the ground-up]]. He ''bragged'' to the latter about how he learned to keep his hands to himself after the fallout with Megan, then faceplanted her breasts.

After Megan cut ties with Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a drawing of him fingerbanging her]] to his ED page, he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. When this failed to placate her, he then had the nerve to say "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''[[Ego|him]]''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

Years later, Chris would go so far as to totally demonize Megan for rejecting his 'good intentions', posting her address up on his [[Facebook]] profile in the hopes that trolls would find it and punish her for him. On 3 and 4 October 2013, he took this even further, posting [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|an unbelievable multi-part tirade]] about Megan on Facebook, wherein he accused her of being the leader of a vast troll conspiracy against him and claimed to have consorted with a ''[[Chris and reality|fictional]] [[Megagi La Skunk|character]]'' Megan once made for him, who supposedly told Chris that Megan [[Sandy|should never have been born]]. As if this wasn't enough insanity on its own, Chris then went on to claim he had confiscated the [[Sailor Megtune]] superpowers he had given her in the comics, and proceeded to demand that Megan fix his entire life, or else he would sic the spirits of his deceased father and dog on her.

Chris has even started up [[List of Chris's Lies|false]] [[rape]] claims against his [[Bruce Johnson|elementary school principal]]. That alone should warrant anybody to not defend him ever.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego just keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool is probably the ''only'' genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally disabled. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding whatever damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. Poetically, after he posted this video, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''. SonichuIzCool didn't step down, and responded back with a video that criticized his actions. To date, Chris has never issued a response to that, thus meaning he was dismantled by a slow-in-the-mind.

On 1 November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to create a YouTube video called [[Twin Falling Towers]], wherein he ''mocks 9/11''. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and terrorists'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. He even used his mouse cursor as a "plane" and made childish explosion noises. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the World Trade Center towers into [[Cakefarts|cake]] candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the Twin Tower images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a "fan" named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch pornography with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|"expert"]], encouraged him to do so. When "Mike" got back to him, the news wasn't good; Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike Sr. begged Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come home. Unfortunately, Chris was under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Chris was next contacted by Mike's "wife", who told him that after discovering that Mike Jr. had married the prostitute in Las Vegas, Mike Sr. died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's widow, offering her his infamous canned response in lieu of even pretending to give a fuck, then later responded to Mike's son's grief and anger with all of three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]] When called out later, he denied having ever spoken to Mike, much less read his obituary. While this was all obviously trolling, Chris's nonchalant reaction to his hypothetically ruining someone's life and tearing their family apart doesn't exactly paint him in a good light.

In the post [[Tomgirl_Saga| Tomgirl saga]] world of Chris some trolls have shown remorse over past trollings of Chris. Some cite Chris' new minority gender identity and his infamous autism as reasons to be more sympathetic to Chris. However, Chris has never shown respect for other transgendered people, but has been outright transphobic [[Doxing Jeff/Francine|by refusing to acknowledge their identity]] or [[I Am me; He is not| using slurs against them]]. This does not stop Chris demanding that people respect his new found gender identity without a hint of self-awareness. Chris has made it clear he doesn't have respect for others even if they share very similar problems or experiences like him. Even post tomgirl Chris has also gone on record refusing to date anyone transgendered or with autism. Chris hates those who are similar to him [[Chris and hypocrisy|for bringing his insecurities and imperfections to light and will lash out at them for it]].

Further adding to this short-lived newfound pity towards Chris was the [[26 December 2014]] incident, from the way in which he conducted himself, commanding employees "[[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]" and generally behaving as if [[Chris and reality|he were]] [[Chris and his Ego|answerable]] [[Chris and the law|to no-one]] [[Chris and religion|throughout]], to macing a GameStop employee as he walked out out of the store. This is just after Chris [[I Love You, Catherine|supposedly fell]] [[To Mr. Smith|into a depression]], and the fact that he quickly bounced back with an act of astounding [[Ego|hubris]] and [[Naive|stupidity]] shows how little of pity most people had for him prior to that point. The revelation that Chris was in jail awaiting video court two days later was received with relief, and hopes that he may finally be forced [[Chris and remorse|to]] [[Chris and anger|learn]] [[Chris and his ego|lessons]] [[Chris and reality|he]] [[Chris and psychology|should've]] been taught three decades ago.

Any reason you might could find for believing you can save Chris is only fooling yourself. Chris has willfully chosen to become a leech on society and any of many people listed on this wiki who had taken pity on him. He goes from person to person and community to community only to take what ever he feels entitled to from them, and then throw a temper tantrum when they expel him for unacceptable behavior. To illustrate this point, many of the people Chris has hated the most were not trolls or cruel to him, but simply had gotten in the way of things he wanted regardless if it was intentional or not. For example, [[Wes Iseli]] for dating a girl he liked, [[Adam Stackhouse]] for winning a contest he wanted to win, or [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for prohibiting his [[attraction sign]] on campus. This is a cycle that anyone who has followed Chris' misadventures is familiar with, and it is safe to say your efforts to change or help him will be no different. Chris needs professional and perhaps Institutional help. Anonymous strangers, as well-meaning as they may be, are not equipped with the proper recourses to help Chris, especially as Chris continues [[List of places that have banned Chris| to get banned throughout Charlottesville]] many times without the help of trolls or weens.

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|random video games]] he'll never play, and even DLC for ''games he doesn't own''. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it doesn't require him to do much interacting with other people. Programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]]. He's never going to get a job now, of course - what with [[Chris and the law|his various run-ins with the law]], [[List of places that have banned Chris|his growing local reputation for public tantrums and violence]], his social security, and the fact that he's in his thirties, and [[Wendy's|has only been employed for a month or so]] in his entire life, over a decade ago - but he missed a lot of opportunities while it was still possible. Had he made the right choices, he could've been on a career path and out of his ancestral cesspool by now.

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to accept the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the false assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of [[Autism|an easily manageable illness]] which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about [[Chris and the Law|Chris getting in trouble with the law again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

His steadfast belief that he can get more money by doing nothing as opposed to getting a job is best underscored in his in [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris explains why he won't get a job|an April 2017 Facebook post]], where he explains why he refuses to get a job.

One of his real-life friends tell him that there are services that help people like him get a job, and says she was able to land a job through those services. Chris replies saying that he's too prone to anxiety and shock, and a troll responds that the very fears of getting a job that he's describing are actually very normal for people new to the workforce. She later tells him concerning his refusal to get a job that it's OK as "Not everyone wants to work," but clarifies that "it's OK not to work when you don't need money." That, however, never crosses Chris's mind, and [[Financhu Crisis|considering the Chandlers' financial problems]] that they're in.

But just in case you needed any solid proof of Chris' outright selfishness, it basically came straight from the horse's mouth during his trial. When asked if he understood that he'll be paying his court fees:

{{quote| "Yes. My mother will be taking care of that." |Chris.<ref>[[This_is_how_the_Trial_went]]</ref>}}

Keep in mind that the money being used to bail him out of a mess that he caused is coming out of an ailing old widow's purse while Chris [[Chris and Money|nonchalantly throws his own money away]], as evidenced by his PSN activity mere months later. Also, in 2013, [[Facebook#I_have_had_more_freedom_when_my_father_was_alive|he further hammers this point home]] by complaining about having to take care of Barb with Bob's passing, concerned more about his free time and Michael Snyder taking his money away.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own [[honest content]] than being a good net citizen. On the internet, his demeanor is comparable to that of a spammer: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which is generally tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would at least not make deliberate efforts to hinder them. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway, yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam, excessive trolling, and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to the site to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. Thoughts of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on the CWCipedia provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 20 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight E-mails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculously: he denies being [[Obesity|overweight]].

If you ever get some free time, read Vivian Gee's AIM chat. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that PandaHalo was a troll. Chris fell for Panda anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense into him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In her words:

{{quote|i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try.|Vivian, thoroughly summing up how it feels to try to smack some sense into Chris.}}

Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to the woman who was once his biggest defender ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Blanca was the name of more than a few trolls, and Chris fell for it.
* PandaHalo was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite Vivian's warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire video game development company, and Chris fell for it.
* Sarah May was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Julie was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Ivy was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[Liquid Chris]].
** [[Father Call|Kacey's dad]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. [[February_2012|Twice.]]
* [[Catherine]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Anna McLerran|Anna]]'s warnings.

See a pattern here? Back in the day, Chris would've simply dismissed any attempt to open his eyes to the obvious as an attempt to "ruin his relationship/business partnership for the lulz".

As of 2012, however, it seems that Chris has done a 180 on this, where, out of [[Autism|sheer paranoia]], he believes that anybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp10.png]]</ref> and everybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp6.png]]</ref> is a troll, even when he has no sane reason to reach that conclusion<ref>[[:File:Koreans.PNG]]</ref>.

Surprisingly, even in [[2014]], it was revealed that his latest girlfriend, Catherine, was a troll construct. While [[CWCki Forums|the community observing Chris]] are [[Trolls#Today|no longer impressed]] by such [[weening]], it still shows that even after almost a decade of trolls leading him around by his [[duck]], Chris has learned absolutely nothing.

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do some ''bizarre'' things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be out of the ordinary.

The things Chris achieves when left to his own devices are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His previous brushes with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|creepy]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that backfires without fail. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and [[Recycling|lewd acts]] are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. He even bounced back after being [[Mumble 9|verbally abused by a room of trolls]], one of whom went so far as to tell him to go kill himself. Whatever the trolls say or do to Chris, he always does or says something worse to someone else, and he always bounces back anyway, so what's the problem?

[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]

===Chris has made himself an outcast===
High school and college are where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's autistic. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't [[Gal-pals|female]], [[Pedofork|young]], [[Chris and race|white]], in the [[Charlottesville]] area, and [[Barbara Chandler|willing to mother him forever more]].

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, threw a particularly bizarre tantrum in her office, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his loitering and soliciting were not appropriate behaviors in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are Jerkops, that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was [[Ego#Paranoia a matter of him against the world, with the world as the antagonist]]. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given far more leeway than most people ever would have been given, due to Snyder's misguided pity for him), he was barred from his last hangout in Ruckersville that was still open to him.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He has been offered friendship and care time and again, and every time without fail, he drives his friends away with his entitlement, his perverse, bizarre, bellicose behaviors, or his inappropriate sexual advances, or, failing that, he will dismiss them for trying to get him to improve himself or behave like a responsible adult. While he has began frequenting [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] in recent months, and could potentially make friends there, many Christorians believe it is merely a matter of time before history repeats itself and Chris alienates himself from the other regulars.

Complain as he might, Chris's own actions have made him an outcast, and since he refuses to accept this, much less attempt to improve himself, an outcast he shall remain. Try as they might, neither white knights nor trolls have the power to save Chris from his delusions and cognitive dissonance, only he does.

===The stresses of white-knighting===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to keep up-to-date on his activities. Most have to lie and pretend to be a single girl to even capture his attention. This, combined with Chris's habit of pushing away anyone who tries to connect with him, is enough to make any sane non-psychologist crash into slumber.

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his address will be left unread and deleted. Even back in the days of the [[Mailbag]], any emails submitted to it, if they even got published, would've been [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit, and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant manchildren flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unconsciously attract new trolls to take their place, and we all know weens are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after Barbara dies, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his monthly tugboat and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris ends up in prison (again) he will be trolled there as well, and that's if he's lucky.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[JERKS|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that Christorians still find especially impressive, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a thoroughly-kicked autistic.

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing vidya and occasionally drawing unsellable art until Barb died. He'd remain without social skills, a job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that, without exaggeration, is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has long secured his place among such luminaries as [[wikipedia:Time Cube|Gene Ray]] and [[wikipedia:John Titor|John Titor]], and unlike Gene, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris's interactions with the world through his websites and YouTube have drawn in a considerable number of people from around the world who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over Earth, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving--the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and ''may'' bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study and document his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately well-off. The audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow, even if he generally opts out of doing either. Instead of being an unemployable, fat bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an internet-famous unemployable, fat bedroom dweller, and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, possibly appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could even [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|become the next William Hung]] if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

In fact, recently, Chris seems to have latched onto the idea of monetizing his e-fame, which he has managed somewhat successfully. It started with him being paid by a Japanese noise band (albeit a really obscure one) to produce artwork for their album cover (that didn't feature Sonichu or himself for a change) in early 2015, for which he received $50. At around the same time, he started making replica [[medallions]], taking commissions, and, a little later, making custom Sonichu Amiibos, all of which sold fairly well on [[eBay]], particularly the medallions.

In [[August 2015]], Chris did what no-one had thought he would - he resumed work on the Sonichu comics, asking for donations in exchange for releasing new pages, at a price of $10 per page. He even redrew some of the old comics to be a [[Chris and anger|little more]] [[Death threats|tasteful]], for example retconning the infamous gory executions of the Asperpedia Four in the original version of [[Sonichu 10]] to banishment to an Amish community and forced marriage. Many on Kiwi Farms applauded his resumption of work on the comics, a move they had long suggested. It was predicted that the comics would be a better earner for Chris than the relatively unsuccessful botched Amiibos; although no-one could have forseen [[Autism|one person paying Chris $1000]] - which translates into 100 pages worth of new Sonichu comics - meaning Chris gets money for toys, weed and hormones, while we get new content, and the pleasure of watching the fallout <s>if</s> when Chris fails to produce that many pages. It should of course go without saying that Chris's merchandise is bought ([[Kenneth Erwin Englehardt|almost]]) exclusively by trolls, Christorians, and the rest of his "fanbase", as the fragile, low-quality crap he churns out has no value to anyone else. All in all, Chris is finally cashing in on his e-fame, which may someday lead to him "making peace" with his tormentors, and recognizing that he has a somewhat symbiotic relationship with them. Which of course, renders white knighting essentially redundant.

Another important point to remember is that Chris's perversions, flaws and constant failure have made his life into something of a cautionary tale to other autistic people, and he has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] of them to self-improvement. Really, no matter how dire his circumstances come to be, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on Facebook and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO|his own self-loathing]].

{{quote|Whatever.|Chris' [[Mailbag_29#Whatever|1-word response]] to a fan leaving him, a social worker concerned about the [[Chris_and_health#Living_conditions|state of his house]], and a fan concerned about [[Chandler_Cats#Kitty|one of his cats]].}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|Chris' [[Mailbag_43#Go_Fuck_Yourself.2C_too.21|response]] to constructive criticism about [[Chris_and_copyright#Chris.27s_views|copyright]].}}

Chris doesn't treat his so-called "fans" much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans, and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His Mailbag is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When, or if, he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] had no audio on it whatsoever. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic, and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them, some less, some more, some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

===Chris's upbringing doesn't justify his actions===
The shitty way [[Borb]] raised him may be an ''explanation'' for why Chris is so fucked up, but it's not an ''excuse''. Plenty of people have bad childhoods, and abusive or incompetent parents. However, these people don't use that as an excuse for whatever bad things they do. As these people get help and move on, Chris, on the other hand, remains dependent on the same people who screwed him up, and doesn't even try to move past his childhood. Instead, he escapes into a world of fantasy and pornography, and when confronted by reality, he will use all the mental gymnastics at his disposal to twist reality to resemble how he wants it to be. There's also the fact that [[Cole Smithey]] grew up in the same household with the same parents, and yet he lives a relatively normal life. Meanwhile, Chris behaves like an overgrown child, draws art on par with that of elementary schoolers, is chronically in trouble with the law for his persistent failure to regulate his own behavior in public, and generally is extremely antisocial.

===Chris's life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him===
Today, Chris is a total human trainwreck, slowly losing the last of his sanity as each day goes by. While the systematic trolling of him throughout the last few years has doubtless contributed to his degrading mental state (especially his extreme paranoia and distrust for almost everyone), the fact still remains that his life's horrible state is mainly caused by factors outside of the internet. He would still be a lonely outcast, as his poor upbringing gave him such warped views of the world and led him to engage in such bizarre behavior that he drove away every person he tried to connect with. He would still be living in unsanitary conditions due to Barb's hoarding and the fact that his house has not been properly cleaned in the better part of a decade. He would still be banned from most of his favorite hangouts due to his loitering and hostile behavior to other patrons. Also, at the core of it all is how Chris decided that he would be better off living off government handouts while he sits around playing with toys and video games instead of getting a job and heading down a career path, which would have been his one-way ticket to escaping the cesspool that is [[14 Branchland Court]] and living a fulfilling life, not unlike that of his half-brother. Instead, he decided to remain dependent on his elderly, emotionally disturbed parents; look how well that's working out for him.

True to his word, Chris all but abandoned the Internet between [[July 2012]] and [[2013]], save for sporadic ramblings on Facebook. Despite this, quite a bit was revealed about how well he was doing independent of troll influence. He [[Other_documents#Epistle_to_the_Wesley_Memorial_United_Methodist_Church|alienated himself from his church]], earning a ban from the new pastor (undoubtedly because Chris wouldn't shut the hell up about the trolls). After being banned, he even dismissed Rocky as an effective counselor (keep in mind that Rocky once bailed him out of jail, which is quite an extraordinary act of kindness, counselor or not), and went so far as to accuse [[Chris and religion|God]] of being a troll. He continues to this day to describe his life as isolated and lonely, with nobody willing to talk to him, a scenario many have tried and failed to warn him about. He even earned some ire from Anna, his biggest white knight for [[Facebook#Gay_Marriage|making anti-homosexual statements]] on his Facebook page, he even chose to argue with her instead of trying to piece together why a lesbian friend of his would find such statements offensive. As a coup de grace on all of this, Chris ended up trolling himself in the grandest fashion by revealing an [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur account]] made of all of his previously hidden Facebook posts, despite trolls (save for the one who started it) being completely in the dark about it.

Even if all of that doesn't convince you for some reason, consider this: Chris came ''this'' close to being thrown in jail on [[28 October 2011]], and it's possible he'll end up there at last with the more recent [[26 December 2014]] incident, both of which involved the assault of innocent retail workers trying to protect their customers from him. Both times, he did this on his own initiative, with no prodding from the trolls. And make no mistake, ''everyone'' was thoroughly disgusted by Chris's actions, none were eager to defend his pepper-spray assault on an innocent employee, even those who helped support his [[Sonic Boom Protests]] before.

If we were to be extraordinarily generous and assume that none of the disasters which have befallen Chris since the trolling efforts began in earnest would otherwise have happened, the facts ''still'' indicate that Chris's life would have been a complete mess. Chris was discovered by the internet at large in late 2007, by which point he had already been suspended from college, and banned from the [[Fashion Square]] (twice), along with his local branches of [[Wal-Mart]] and [[Target]], only avoiding criminal charges for the ruckus he caused at the latter because the state didn't feel it was worth the effort to pursue the case. As recently as two months before the "official" start of the trolling of Chris, he was making death threats against Adam Stackhouse and his preteen sister, for the former's unwitting disruption of Chris's plan to lose his virginity with Megan, something that she had made clear she had no interest in doing. It may be a depressing conclusion to arrive at, but there's never been anything that anyone outside of the confines of 14 Branchland Court could have reasonably done to prevent Chris's life from being a trainwreck.

===Chris's white knights are making him worse===
A quick glance at the comments on his Facebook statuses should confirm this. Even after he ''committed a felony'' by assaulting a GameStop employee with pepper spray on Boxing Day 2014, then posted a long-winded, obviously dishonest tirade painting himself as an innocent victim on Facebook, none of his white knights offered anything more than a softly-worded, mild condemnation of his behavior. [[William Elliott Waterman|Some]] avoided a direct response altogether, and made some barely relevant comment that conspicuously avoided the main point of Chris's self-serving drivel, probably a feeble and misguided attempt to defuse his [[Chris and anger|rage]].

And this is how his white knights react whenever he gets angry about having to face the consequences of his own behavior. It's painfully clear to Chris's trolls and other observers that his white knights are woefully ill-equipped to deal with Chris. The reactions his tantrums garner from them clearly indicate that they remain ignorant (passively or otherwise) to facts that most learned long ago; namely, that the "soft touch" has never worked with Chris, and only serves to reinforce his [[Chris and reality|belief]] that [[Chris and his Ego|he should be given whatever he desires]] (he is even openly stating that he is ''entitled'' to a girlfriend), and allowed to do as he pleases, while [[Barbara Chandler|others]] shield him from the [[Chris and the Law|negative repercussions]].

Chris's white knights also habitually feed Chris's belief that his trolls are subhuman bullies who simply want to see him destroyed in every conceivable way because he's such a special, brave little boy. While this is arguably [[A-Logging|true of]] [[Weening|some]], for the most part, Chris's trolls are just as interested in seeing Chris improve himself as white knights are, if not moreso, even if many are beginning to doubt such a thing is possible. Indeed, many of the female troll personas who "date" or "befriend" Chris have tried to help him see the error of his ways and reform, and continue to do so. It is partially due to the influence of Chris's white knights, who foolishly (and often futilely) try to root out these trolls, that these attempts to help Chris never result in lasting, positive change on his part.

In short, most of Chris's white knights are attention whores, sycophants or both. To these people, going on a witch-hunt for trolls is preferable to actually trying to help Chris, something which, ironically, even Chris's trolls continue to try to do.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

===White Knights on YouTube===

Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and Panda. She also released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the [[CWCville Library]]'s original curator, Arjen Van Dierten.

On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends, forgetting the fact that BlueSpike ''has no friends''.

===White Knights on Facebook===

In recent times (since 2012), Chris has taken to using Facebook as his main means of expressing himself. Inevitably, this has not only attracted the attention of trolls, but, in 2013, a slew of White Knights as well, in particular, a [[William Elliott Waterman]], who taunted the trolls to come after him instead of Chris ('''Spoiler:''' Nobody did, because nobody actually cared what he had to say). Anna and [[Kim]] are two of the most notable ones on his friends list, both of whom try to offer constructive advice whenever Chris nosedives into a rant...when they're not busy kissing his ass, especially in the case of Anna.

However, as we've come to expect of Chris, anybody who tells him something he doesn't want to hear are people that needed to be brushed off until they stop saying those mean, awful things to him. A good case in point is his [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart|anger-laced tirade in September 2013, when he got thrown out of Walmart and started calling names]]. The white knights typically chimed in with their support...''until'' he revealed that he [[Chris and the law|vandalized]] an Xbox One display in the store. Several of them then told Chris that this was not right of him to do, and that the manager had every right to throw him out. His response to that?

{{quote|They do not.
And if they do, they are most in the wrong, [[Chris and reality|because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever]].|- Chris's response to Chris Rhodes}}

===White Knights in Real Life===

Aside from the most obvious example, an old classmate of Chris from [[Manchester High School]] came online and attempted to defend Chris. Once [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|certain details]] became known, however, said classmate quickly backpedaled on this once he realized that the majority of [[CWCki|what happened]] was Chris' own fault.

===TV Tropes===
The TV Tropes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Sonichu article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. It was eventually removed due to TV Tropes' website policy changing later on--in other words, said message would no longer be allowed on the website. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, the editor in question fails to realize that their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]]

==Chris as a White Knight==
In 2017, Chris himself began (attempting) to white knight the crew of [[Planet Dolan]], particularly [[DoopieDoOver]], after he misinterpreted one of Doopie's tweets about being tired of harassment from Chris himself as referring to [[trolls]] harassing her. To this end, he started the #[[HarassCWCdirectly]] campaign in which he exhorted the supposed trolls to take aim at him and leave Doopie and friends alone. This may well be a misguided effort to [[Love Quest|win Doopie's affections]] after she emphasized that she considers him nothing more than a customer, not even a [[Gal pal|friend]].

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any old e-friend can reach Chris at this point and change him for the better, certainly not by continuing to ass-pat and pamper him, which is precisely what fucked him up so badly in the first place (as this wiki evidences copiously). Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls, for daring to tell him anything he does not want to hear. With each new incident he causes, it is increasingly obvious that little short of [[Chris and psychology|professional intervention]], the [[Chris and religion|intercession of]] [[GodJesus]], or a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|horrifyingly close brush with death]] will change him.

Though the trolls have certainly tried to be a positive influence on Chris, even they are now largely admitting that Chris is well beyond our aid. They have spent years trying to pierce Chris's many insulating layers of self-deceit, egotism and sheer stubbornness. It is worth bearing in mind that it is these people, not the white knights, that are the closest thing he has to friends, and that some of them have been at this for nearly a decade. They ''know'' him, and if they can't make Chris change, what on earth makes you think you can?

To conclude, with Chris's paranoia, detachment from reality, outlandish behavior and bellicosity all becoming steadily more severe, and with interventions by trolls and white knights alike failing, the best we can hope for is that Chris causes [[26 December 2014|some sort of trouble]] that leads to him receiving the help he needs.

==See also==
*[[A-Logging]]
*[[Weening]]
*[[White knight E-mails]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Chris and his ego

2017-08-08T17:06:57Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Origins */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}
{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (King James Version)]]}}

[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]

'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris]]'s flaws. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved wife, children and home).]]

==Origins==
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to [[Chris_and_remorse#Shifting_blame|shift blame for all of his troubles]] to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris and reality#In the Real World|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. But Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him]].

===The enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}

Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a 30-year-old man with autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-minds|high functioning]]" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems, from emotional disorders to mental retardation, live far more independently than Chris does.

For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and money}}
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a "[[monthly tugboat]]" as he calls it. Although intended to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[vidya]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for admiration]], and [[Chris and remorse|lack of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Chris and art|exaggerates]] [[CADD|achievements]] and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]]).

2. Is preoccupied with [[Dreams|fantasies]] of unlimited success, power, brilliance, [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|ideal love]].

3. Believes that he or she is "special" and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]]. (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] favorable treatment or [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|automatic compliance with his or her expectations]].

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]].

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan Schroeder|feelings and needs]] [[The Wallflower|of others]].

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her.

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]].}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Antisocial personality disorder==
It's also entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Antisocial personality disorder|antisocial personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM V, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines antisocial personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

The essential features of a personality disorder are impairments in personality (self and interpersonal) functioning and the presence of pathological personality traits. To diagnose antisocial personality disorder, the following criteria must be met:

A. Significant impairments in personality functioning manifest by:
1. Impairments in self functioning (a or b):
a. Identity: Ego-centrism; self-esteem derived from personal gain, [[power]], or [[China|pleasure]].
b. Self-direction: Goal-setting based on [[Love Quest|personal gratification]]; absence of prosocial internal standards associated with [[Chris and the law|failure to conform to lawful]] or [[Attraction sign|culturally normative ethical behavior]].

AND

2. Impairments in interpersonal functioning (a or b):
a. [[Chris and death|Empathy]]: Lack of concern for feelings, needs, or [[Ryan Cash|suffering of others]]; lack of [[remorse]] after [[Gal-pals|hurting or mistreating another]].
b. Intimacy: Incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, as exploitation is a primary means of relating to others, including by deceit and coercion; use of dominance or intimidation to control others.

B. Pathological personality traits in the following domains:
1. Antagonism, characterized by:
a. Manipulativeness: Frequent use of subterfuge to influence or control others; use of seduction, charm, glibness, or ingratiation to achieve [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|one's ends]].
b. [[List of Chris's lies|Deceitfulness]]: Dishonesty and fraudulence; [[Alec Benson Leary calls|misrepresentation of self]]; embellishment or [[Chris and reality|fabrication when relating events]].
c. [[Chris and remorse|Callousness]]: Lack of concern for feelings or problems of others; lack of guilt or remorse about the [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|negative]] [[Twin Falling Towers|or harmful effects]] of one's [[Megan Schroeder|actions]] [[Kacey|on]] [[The Wallflower|others]]; [[Chris and anger|aggression]]; sadism.
d. Hostility: [[Michael Snyder|Persistent or frequent angry feelings]]; anger or irritability in response to [[Kick the Autistic|minor slights and insults]]; mean, nasty, or [[Death threats|vengeful behavior]].

2. Disinhibition, characterized by:
a. [[Father Call|Irresponsibility]]: Disregard for – and failure to honor – [[Chris and money|financial]] and [[Chores|other obligations or commitments]]; lack of respect for – and [[Jackie e-mails|lack of follow through]] on – [[Kacey calls|agreements and promises]].
b. Impulsivity: [[Mary Lee Walsh|Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli]]; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; [[Stress|difficulty establishing and following plans]].
c. Risk taking: Engagement in [[Un-clit 2.0|dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities]], unnecessarily and without regard for consequences; boredom proneness and thoughtless initiation of activities to counter boredom; lack of concern for one's limitations and denial of the reality of [[14 Branchland Court|personal]] [[Chris and health|danger]].

C. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are relatively stable across time and consistent across situations.

D. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not better understood as normative for the individual‟s developmental stage or sociocultural environment.

E. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not solely due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma).

F. The individual is at least age 18 years.}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris.

==Manifestations==
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.

But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.

===Fixation on self-image===
Chris has created many avatars of himself through several mediums.

<center><gallery>
File:Comic CWC.PNG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].
File:Chris Lego.jpg|As a Lego figure.
File:ThreePieceSetA.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christian.
File:ThreePieceSetC.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christine.
File:AmiiboSet.jpg|As [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]]. From left to right, Christian, Chris Chan Sonichu, Christine. Chris sold these through [[Etsy]].
File:Lego Christines.png|Another Lego figure of his 2015 [[Tomgirl]] self.
File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|[[Christine Doll]], pictured on left.
File:Chris skylanders avatar.jpg|Skylanders avatar.
File:Skylanders swag.png|A shirt, card and 3D figure of his Skylanders avatar, costing him $90 from the company.
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg|As a Transformer.
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg ‎|As a [[MLP]] character.
</gallery></center>

===Persecution complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, walking through the shadow of the valley of death.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]-violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] to becoming the social outcast that we all know and tolerate), thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===
{{Main|Naïve}}

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising china or threatening his identity. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a -mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would tell if we end up seeing Chris [[Cosplay|cosplaying]] or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. It's pretty obvious that Chris had only done this because he believed that he would score with Jackie sooner or later.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}

Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.

===Materialism===
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that,to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats homos, seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===
{{Main|Chris and the Internet}}
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's post contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards in amplexus, thumbnails of tribadism, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a china-shaped lemon--his description for the picture ''bragged'' about how [[JERKS]] would be offended by it.

===Paranoia===
One of the worst things that comes out of Chris's ego is his bloated sense of paranoia. As mentioned above, Chris has taken to withholding certain information from trolls like an animal being shocked by a shock collar. However, this line of thinking has pushed Chris into believing that the entire world is out to get him. In early days, it was actually simple - Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh were conspiring to stop him from succeeding in his Love Quest. However, after the incident with [[The Wallflower]] and the realization that there's entire webpages devoted to him, it's caused him to see things in a bigger, yet disturbing picture.

As such, Chris has decided to become a recluse, refusing to make friends with anyone unless he knew him in the real world. However, this is a double-edged sword as Chris refuses to interact with anyone in the real world as well. In the real world, if someone spotted Chris and knew him by name, even if they had heard of him from whatever remaining place is left for him to go to, he panics and runs, fearing that the person is actually a troll seeking to spread more information about him across the Internet. As well, if someone wanted to contact Chris through other means, even if that person had no idea who Chris was or what Sonichu was or anything that the trolls had done, Chris will shut them out because he doesn't know who they are and thus, has relegated them to the title of "troll".

A perfect example of this was revealed in a series of Facebook screenshots. While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted him, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.]]

===Surrendering Information===
If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. The ongoing [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Soiled Underpants Saga]] is the shining example of this.

Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris' experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.

In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post in particular revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''

The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brushfire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.

===Fishing for sympathy===
In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the Father Call, where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter (note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.) In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his Facebook entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler, and his friend, Anna McLerran is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his [[autism|being autistic]], has poisoned Chris' mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the white knights. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{Clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L

2017-08-07T23:23:37Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Transcript */

[[File:Chris chan creep.jpg|thumb|Chris, performing some sort of unholy chanting.]]

"'''U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L'''" is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 15 January 2010. The video title, written in some kind of reversed [[Wikipedia:leet|1337]] pseudo-[[Spanish]], is translated as "Love ''[[Sonichu]]'' and hate ''[[Asperchu]]''".

Chris tries to be clever by speaking Spanish backwards, but he just ends up sounding like a raving lunatic. He ends the video by chanting "Uhcinos evol!" (love ''Sonichu'') over and over again, perhaps believing he can brainwash everyone into liking him again, not that anyone ever has. Conversely, he uses the other incantation, "Uhcrepsa etah!" (hate ''Asperchu''), in a failed attempt to draw away the [[troll|masses]] from the new [[Asperchu|rising star]] in the universe of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Amusingly, this makes his beloved hedgehog Pokemon sound evil (pronouncing the word 'love' backwards).

It's possible that he [[Things Chris Has Ripped Off|got this idea]] from ''[[The Simpsons]]'' episode "[[Wikipedia:New Kids on the Blecch|New Kids on the Blecch]]", where the [[Navy]] brainwashes people into signing up by creating a song with the phrase, "Yvan eht nioj" as the chorus. The joke was that it was pronounced as it is written, making the idea of being able to hear it, then subliminally reconstruct the phrase in the listener's head, all the more ridiculous. It goes to show how seriously Chris took the rivalry with Asperchu, to the degree that he attempted to subliminally seduce his audience [[wikipedia:Project MKUltra|MK ULTRA]]-style. Thankfully, it didn't work and Chris is not the [[geinus]] he thinks he is.

He has now been wearing the same shirt for about four days. Take from that what you will. He also promised early in the video that two new pages would be uploaded that evening, which turned out to be a [[lie]], as Chris did not update the [[CWCipedia]] that evening at all.
{{clear}}
==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L
| video = {{#ev:youtube|luPl0D6hyOA}}
| stardate = 15 [[January 2010]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}
| shirt = {{DogShirt|text}}
| previous = [[15 January 2010]]
| next = [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]
}}
{{quote|Y uhcinos evol... uhcinos evol... }}

=== Transcript ===

Ah, [[Captain's Log]], Stardate... I believe it is the fifteenth of [[January 2010]].

Hm. As usual, I will have two more pages tonight, I hope you all enjoyed the last page where [[Crystal]] finally got out of the mirror.

But recently, I am reminded of an old Spanish expression which goes simply as, ''Tú necesitas uhcrepsa etah y uhcinos evol per ganar felicidad por vida.'' [''Chris mangles the Spanish language, though it can be translated to: "You need to hate [[Asperchu]] and love [[Sonichu]] in order to be happy for life."'']

Ah, couple of strong verbs in that sent- in that statement. Say it with me.

[''Chris gets frighteningly close to the camera, [[The Creepy Stare|his eyebrows poised to strike]].'']

Uhcrepsa etah... uhcrepsa etah...

Y uhcinos evol... uhcinos evol...

Alright, stay safe and have a good day. Bye-

[''Video cuts off abruptly.'']

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Creepy CWC
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Cw0fJNIA7gc}}
| stardate = 18 [[January 2010]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| subject = Chris
| type = Creepy remix
}}
==See also==
*[[Spanish]]
*''[[Asperchu]]''
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[15 January 2010]]|nextlink=[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, January 2010|2010-01-15]]
[[Category:Asperchu Saga videos|2010-01-15]]

Transgender

2017-08-06T21:27:37Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Possibility of autogynephilia */

{{Quote|Yes, I am a Tomgirl, and I am damn proud of it. I have embraced and appreciated my feminine side. I am still totally heterosexual. Otherwise, I would be a full-blown you-know-what. ''[...]'' I have been more self-confident, and I have a sweet sashay walk, hair and wink flirts, and I am greeting women left and right.|Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref>}}

[[File:TG11.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2011]]

[[File:Happy Birthday, Nathan..mp400001.png|thumb|Chris, five years later]]

The '''Tomgirl Saga''' is the eighteenth [[saga]] in [[Chris]]'s life. Allegedly, after it was suggested to him that he get in touch with his feminine side, Chris became a "[[tomgirl]]", dressing in women's clothes and putting on makeup. The [[Calling Out]] videos are sometimes included as part of this saga, as Chris is in tomgirl regalia in those videos.

It's possible that Chris came up with the term from Eddie Izzard's ''[[wikipedia:Dress to Kill|Dress to Kill]]'', where he says that being a transvestite is the same as being a male tomboy, though this is mere conjecture. What is fact, however, is that Chris makes for a deeply unconvincing female impersonator.

In 2014, Chris came out as a "'''lesbian-identified male'''", and later, he started calling himself a "'''trans woman'''". In 2016, Chris legally changed his name to Christine, and he also got a new driver's license that read "Sex: F" while ironically depicting his five o'clock shadow and receding hairline. He has not gone through any proper transition, however, and is using DIY transition methods that are pointless at best and dangerous at worst.

==Prologue==
{{quote|Also, here is another way to consider me, I am a Ken doll any Barbie CAN dress in her
clothes, and I would feel most comfortable in them and to model them
for her. Come shopping with me, sweetie. ;|Chris, Jackie email, May 6 2011<ref name="Jackie24" />}}

Chris has a long history of female fashions and mannerisms, from the [[Anime Wings]] seen in Sonichu [[Sub-Episode 5]] to the [[Muscle bra]]. Chris has even wondered what he would be like if he were born a female.<ref>[[Mailbag 27]] - Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?</ref> The most complete list of Chris's feminine traits can be seen [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is gay|here]].

According to an email Chris sent to [[Jackie]] on 26 [[March 2011]], Chris started cross-dressing at the beginning of that month.<ref name="Jackie24">[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> At the end of that month Chris changed his [[PSN]] quote to "I am Tomgirl". This was the first sign of the Tomgirl Saga, and caused much speculation among people following Chris. What exactly this quote meant, however, would not be answered until the end of [[April 2011|April]].

[[File:I am tomgirl.jpg|center|350px|PSN quote]]

On 29 April, the Tomgirl Pictures were released by [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]. In them, Chris is dressed in woman's clothing, posing in what he believes are seductive positions. This marked the official beginning of the Tomgirl Saga, as well as finally revealing what his previous PSN quote meant. For some reason, Chris removed the Tomgirl PSN quote immediately after PSN came back online after a month of inactivity, possibly due to receiving attention from [[trolls]].

To show his support to all Tomgirls and Tomboys of America, he started up a new band, [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]], consisting of a TomGirl Robee (formerly Robbie, now Roberta), and TomBoy Cera and Christine.

==Calling out videos==
[[File:CWC0811.PNG|thumb|Chris during the Calling Out videos]]
[[File:S11-43.jpg|thumb|Chris describes his 2014 switchover in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]]]
In August, Chris made his return to YouTube. After consorting with his fellow tomboys and tomgirls, he claimed to have obtained dox on all of his trolls. From here, Chris makes a series of videos calling out various trolls.

Chris first calls out Surfshack Tito, and demands that he 1) admit to hacking PlayStation Network, 2) apologize to the [[Wallflower]] and her family, 3) send Chris $1,000, 4) delete all of his pages from the CWCki, and 5) apologize to Chris. Surfshack Tito replied a few days later, meeting Chris's demands.

The next troll called out was Thorg. Chris demands that he 1) put up a billboard in NYC declaring that Chris is straight, 2) delete all of his pages from the CWCki, and 3) apologize to Chris. Unlike Tito, Thorg did not take Chris seriously. Chris re-calls out Thorg, and eventually unmasks him as Jeremy Slonwhite, a fat, nerdy atheist living in Canada.

Chris then calls out [[Jack Thaddeus]], and simply demands that he apologize to Chris. However, Jack Thaddeus unmasked himself, revealing that he is ADF, another lolcow. Chris responds by mocking him and his communist views.

Later, Chris calls out [[Alec Benson Leary]], and demands that he apologize to Chris. Alec Benson Leary did not respond to Chris's [[Calling Out]] video, so Chris unmasked him as Christopher Paul Whitney, a fat man who eats food on Youtube.

Finally, Chris called out [[BlueSpike]], and demanded that he 1) stop people from prank calling him and screaming "JULAY", and 2) apologize to Chris. BlueSpike did not respond, but Chris did not unmask him because tragedy had hit Chris's family.

On [[September 2011|6 September 2011]], [[Bob]] passed away from heart failure. This brought the public events of Tomgirl Saga to an abrupt hiatus, as Chris was in mourning and apparently too depressed to make more videos. BlueSpike's deadline to respond to Chris passed without Chris unmasking him.

==After Bob's death==
Bob's passing, however it may have affected Chris, did not stop him from being a tomgirl; 3 years later, according to his latest [[OkCupid]] profile, he stated "I would cross dress more often if my mother was not against me doing it (panties and bra included, but wear them anyway)."

On 14 August [[2014]], Chris [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|revealed]] via [[Facebook]] that he is a self-described "Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser", claiming shortly afterward to be a [[Gaybian|lesbian in a male body]]. He also proclaimed that he is a supporter of "LBT" rights, which seems to have neatly coincided with the advent of his professed status as a transsexual person. His omission of the "G" (Gay) was attacked by [[Kim Wilson|Kim]], in the face of which Chris admitted that the [[Homos|"G.M.s"]] were "fortunate" to be "on the boat", suggesting that he despises gay men as much as ever.

Chris returned to uploading videos of himself in 2015.

In [[May 2016]], he successfully filed for a name change to "Christine Weston Chandler."<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/chris-filed-for-a-legal-name-change-update-the-judgement-is-in.20763/</ref>

== Gallery of Chris-tran ==

'''Tito's Introduction'''

Chris decided that being a [[JERKS|man]] was too much work. It often involves [[Stress|stressful]] activities such as getting a job, excercising,
and supporting a family. The role of the man was too stressful for the life of Christian Weston Chandler.

He decided he would take the route that was easier for him. The path that he was so familiar with in [[Manchester High School|Highschool]].
The manchild felt that he could identify being a lady seeing that he has had vast experience of hanging out with girls
in the cafeteria. Chris decided that being in touch with his feminine side would be the truth key in his quest.

But wait! Does that make him gay?

Not in Chris' lifetime it doesn't. Thanks to 3 months of dry spell and constant hours of TV have deluded him. Based on the archetype you would see on movies and video games, you would learn of the "Tomboy", The girl with boyish next to dykish features would allow her to be swarmed by the opposite sex with her short hair and her appreciation of the Dresdon Dolls.

"If a girl could do it, So can a boy", Chris thought. Thus he has coined the term "Tomgirl". A man in touch with his feminine side, and totally heterosexual.

'''Gallery'''

Several of these images are reversed left-to-right, possibly because Chris took them with the front camera on his [[Nintendo|DSi or 3DS]] (Which, like most front-facing cameras, flips the image so that the picture matches what the user sees on the screen, as though the user were looking into a mirror). It should also be noted that picture taking occurred in at least three different places. Pictures [[:File:TG3.jpg|TG3]] and [[:File:TG4.jpg|TG4]] are taken on the Downtown Walking Mall. [[:File:TG12.jpg|TG12]] and [[:File:TG19.jpg|TG19]] are taken at the [[Fashion Square Mall]] and the rest taken in his [[14_Branchland_Court|home]].

<center>{{Collapsible|Tito's leaked Tomgirl Pictures from 2011|<gallery>
File:TG2.jpg|Tomgirl car in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
File:TG3.jpg|Chris previously drew on the [[Charlottesville]] Free Speech Wall in [[Chris's Big Night Out II]].
File:TG4.jpg|Chris holding nail polish. Also, note his dehydrated skin.
File:TG5.jpg|Chris matched the color of his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]] with his new pair of sandals.
File:TG6.jpg
File:TG7.jpg|Left ear buccaneer, right ear [[Homos|queer]].
File:TG8.jpg|Not the first time that Chris has covered his face in [[pickle]]s and [[Semen|white goo.]] Also, he's using the [[Plush Breasts]] as a pillow.
File:TG9.jpg|You just know this picture will be used in the paper when Chris finally kills [[Michael Snyder|someone]].
File:TG10.jpg|Not even white knights can say anything to defend this...
File:TG11.jpg
File:TG12.jpg
File:TG13.jpg|DAT ASS
File:TG14.jpg
File:TG15.jpg|[[Barb]] 2.0
File:TG16.jpg
File:TG17.jpg|He made himself into a sweetheart from the ground-up.
File:TG18.jpg|GOODBYE HORSES
File:TG19.jpg
File:TG20.jpg|The PlayStation Move SharpShooter doesn't make the look any manlier.
File:TG21.jpg
File:TG22.jpg
File:TG23.jpg
File:TG24.jpg|Note the [[Medallions_of_Fail#The_Asperchu_Medallion_.28a.k.a._The_Medallion_of_Win.3F.29|Asperchu Medallion]] at top right.
File:TG25.jpg
File:TG26.jpg
</gallery>}}
</center>

<center>{{Collapsible|More Tomgirl pictures|<gallery>
File:RoD3b.jpg|March Picture 1, featuring proto-Tomgirl Chris.
File:ZyK7a.jpg|March Picture 2
File:IiL3P.jpg|March Picture 3
File:CWCJuly2011.jpg|Chris's [[Facebook]] pic of July 2011, with Tomgirl earrings
File:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|A random PS3 Home avatar which in no way reminds us of Chris. Good thing they put the usernames there.
File:Chris 09.jpg|In September, Chris was spotted at [[Wal-Mart]]. Note the purse.
File:Oj57ACG.jpg
File:Cwc Menstrual pads 1.jpeg|Menstrual pads
File:Cwc Menstrual pads 2.jpeg
</gallery>}}
</center>

Barb was not happy, making negative remarks, such as, "do not wear eye shadow," "you look like [[Carlos Chantor|a prostitute]]," "lipstick makes you look like a hooker," "you're turning into a [[homos|gay]]," "[[Un-clit|what are you piercing next?]]" and "what's next, you [[I Love You, Catherine|wearing a skirt]] and high heels?"<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> Predictably, Chris reacted to this negative criticism by completely disregarding it and complaining about Barb.

==List of Chris's MTF transition methods==
[[File:Cwc Menstrual pads 1.jpeg|thumb|250px]]
Chris has made several attempts to transition into a true and honest woman. Unfortunately for him, he has a strong belief in [[honor roll|junk science and miracle cures]]. As a result, his favored methods produce no benefits, and many are harmful to his health, [[Chris and reality|not that he would realize it]].

*Growing out his [[hair]]
*[[Chris and fashion|Wearing women's clothing]]
*[[Gal Pal E-mails 4#Shaved eyebrows|Shaving his eyebrows]]
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS#Menstrual pads|Using menstrual pads]]
*[[Un-clit]]
*[[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Remote and Wired Vibrating Eggs|Vibrating Bra]]
*[[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.|Oestrogel]]
*A [[name change]]
*[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]
*[[My Breast Massage Routine 18+|Breast Massaging]]
*[[Un-clit 2.0]]
*[[Un-clit 2.0#Self-inflicted?|A knife?]]
*[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/8-10-chris-bought-female-hormone-vitamins.23257 Female Hormone Vitamins]

==Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia==
[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|left|thumb|Chris' TAToV avatar, used while posting as KookyDashy]]
In late May, Chris discovered the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum. The forum was dedicated to tomboys and tomgirls living in Virginia who wish to discuss their lives. Chris joined under the username [[My Little Pony|Kookydashy]], marking a midpoint in the saga.

In the posts Chris made, he mostly talked about himself and his tomgirl antics. Chris revealed that he had [[Homos|come out]] to his parents, only to receive insults from them. [[Barb]], in particular, has kept complaining about his new attire, and [[Bob]], according to Chris, "threw the damned fag card" at him. Chris also recounts a story in which he went to the lady's restroom because he "started feeling discomfort in using the Men's restroom." Despite a [[jerkop]] who caught him and yelled at him, Chris proceeded to ignore him and is presumably using the ladies' room to this day.

Later posts Chris made excessive mention of being trolled online, at which point it became obvious that KookyDashy was Chris. According to Chris, socializing online makes people more [[autistic]], and people should socialize offline. The irony of posting this on an online social forum was apparently lost. Chris also became paranoid of being trolled even on these forums, leading him to accuse a tomboy looking for a tomgirl of being a troll. For a month, Chris didn't post at the forums.

After that month, [[Thorg]] discovered the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum, and made an article about it on the [[CWCki]]. Chris noticed this quickly, and alerted his fellow tomboys and tomgirls a day later. Naturally, this also entailed him admitting that he is Christian Weston Chandler. Chris complained about the trolls, and said that he is not a bad person, despite what the CWCki said. The other posters promised to help Chris defeat the trolls. The forums became defunct shortly afterwards.

==Evidence of legitimate transsexualism==
Unclear. Transsexuality is fundamentally a part of gender dysphoria, a neurological condition wherein the affected individual believes that their gender identity does not correspond with their biological sex. Chris has shown unclear symptoms; the [[Muscle bra|bras]] for instance can easily be chalked up to Chris's loathing of men and their chests. His hatred of all [[pickle]]s rather than just his own suggests issues about sexual insecurity rather than gender insecurity, and his total non-acceptance of LGBT people until now is another nail in the coffin - he is still terrified of being considered a homo, and still refuses to acknowledge gay men (as seen above in his "LBT" rant) or other MtF transsexuals. In [[May 2015]], Chris began [[Oestrogel_application_and_Vibrating_Bra,_How_To.|a largely ineffectual form of hormone treatment]], conceivably because he was assessed for proper hormone replacement therapy and deemed ineligible, possibly because of his [[Chris and health|health status]]. It also costs a great deal of [[money]] to get hormone therapy, and Chris's tugboat won't cover it on top of the expenses it already does.

However, gender dysphoria could also explain a lot of Chris's past behavior; an example being Chris's insecurity in failing to live up to cultural perceptions of masculinity. His tendency to exaggerate or overcompensate for his fragile masculinity could be caused by subconsciously knowing that his intellectual gender does not match his biological sex. Additionally, Chris is known for his pathological hatred of change - unless the change is beneficial or positive for him. To assume Chris "became" trans purely for the quest for [[china]] is fairly extreme, as suddenly identifying by another gender identity is generally a life-changing event for anybody, and Chris has shown that he is incapable of substantially changing himself even with the [[Kacey|promise of a relationship]] laid in front of him.

===Possibility of autogynephilia===
One controversial theory about transsexualism divides trans women (male-to-female identified individuals) into two categories: "primary" transsexuals (also called homosexual transsexuals or androphilic transsexuals) and autogynephiles (Greek for "love of oneself as a woman"). It is possible that Chris is an autogynephile.

Primary transsexuals are feminine from a young age, have an easy time interacting in the world as a woman, have observable female psychological leanings, and are primarily attracted to men. These individuals have a hard time hiding their effeminacy, and tend to be well-adjusted, socially-adept individuals in every other respect. Female mannerisms are natural for them.

Autogynephiles, on the other hand, '''start out as heterosexual men''' (though some are bisexual). They tend to lack feminine qualities, and are instead motivated by a sexual and/or romantic attraction to the idea of oneself being female. This fetish tends to manifest as a "female gender identity," though without any actual femininity. Autogynephiles tend to have male-typical interests (Chris is interested in video games), and many have male-dominated disorders such as '''[[autism]] and [[narcissism]].''' Autogynephilia often develops at a later age (often past 25), and when confronted, the people may say they have hid their gender identity. They tend to be poorly-adjusted and socially awkward. They go great lengths to mock female mannerisms, and fail miserably. Psychologists often notice that interacting with an autogynephile is like interacting with a man, and while most autogynephiles insist they are lesbians, the more obvious explanation is that they are just straight men.

Both primary transsexuals and autogynephiles have gender dysphoria and desire to transition genders, but they have it for different reasons. When a primary transsexual chooses clothes, she focuses on fashion and dresses for others. Autogynephiles, on the other hand, dress for themselves and have warped fashion senses. Autogynephiles may also spend more time focusing on sexualized articles of clothing such as leggings or panties, whereas primary transsexuals focus more on tops, pants, and skirts. Primary transsexuals get genital surgery to allow them to have penetrative sex with men in the female role, while autogynephiles go through the surgery simply to fulfill their internal sense of gender (read: fetishes). The "Un-clit" could be an example of Chris's autogynephilia manifesting as a desire to have a clitoris.

===Autism, narcissism, and transsexuality===

Many trans people do have a hard time living in society as a man, but it's not because they would fit in better as a woman. It's simply the comorbid autism makes people unfit for either role. The combination of autogynephilia and autism may lead men like Chris-Chan to take it upon themselves to hop onto the trans bandwagon. Narcissism is another huge motivator. In our society, women get more attention, so some attention-seeking autogynephiles wish to be women to get that attention. Social media has made the problem even worse: women get more followers, likes, and positive comments than men. Chris's "transition" could be partially motivated by a desire to reverse his negative image.

Autistic people also have a tendency to "fixate" and "obsess" on issues. Many autistic trans people are obsessive over their gender, as well as physical traits like height. Many autistic people tend to have "androgynous" mental qualities (sensitivity in autistic boys, lower empathy in autistic girls), and those people could be perceiving their brain difference as simply having the brain of the opposite gender. Ironically, studies have shown that autism is linked to an "extreme male brain", as well as a high testosterone level in the womb.

It's also worth noting that 10% of trans people have autism, compared to the 1% of the general population. Their behavior doesn't read as a "normal woman"; it reads as abnormal for either sex.

==Chris's Mixed Messages and Possible Reasons for the Tomgirl Turn==
[[File:Tomboygirl.jpg|thumb|Chris's dream]]

Although cross-dressing among gay men ("doing drag") is deliberately over-the-top and purely for comedic purposes, Chris in his homophobia would almost certainly consider it to be a form of sexual expression - and thus, wearing women's clothing would damn one as a [[homo]]. This created much confusion among [[white knights]] and [[trolls]] alike, as Chris has long preached against any sort of behavior that might "turn people homo", or cast any aspersions on his purported heterosexuality. There are a few theories as to why he turned Tomgirl, and how he justifies it to himself:

* Given that he constantly insists that he appeals to all sexualities of women now, it may be that he just wanted to broaden the demographic of women who would be attracted to him. This is most likely the case.
* As [[Clyde Cash]] pointed out, it could be a latent desire he's been in denial over for years and only now beginning to embrace. It could also be possible he could no longer hold in his crossdressing urges.
* Some suggested that he received advice about "getting in touch with his feminine side" and Chris [[Autism|took it literally]]. This is what happened [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|according to Chris]], which means nothing since he lies to suit himself constantly.
* As evidenced by [[Women's rights|his past behavior towards women]] and his recent bragging about using the female restroom, he could be doing it as an excuse to peep on women using them. In a similar vein, he would also be avoiding using the male restroom, an all-[[pickle]] environment which probably causes a lot of [[stress]].
* It could be a bizarre, roundabout solution to the cognitive dissonance that no doubt comes with Chris's increasingly often demonstrated [[JERKS|hatred of his own sex]]. This as a solution would allow him to maintain his insane loathing of men, and not admit it is motivated [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor|by]] [[Liquid Chris|jealousy]].
* Also, as shown by [[PlayingHouse| his very strange, childish, and lazy fantasy]] of what married life would be like for him, Chris obviously does not want to have to be the spouse who provides for the family. It's possible that Chris realized that it's usually the man who has a job, and the woman stays to look after the home, raise any possible children, and [[SpaghettiRoutine|cook]] (not that he would be good at any of those things). As such, Chris may have decided to say he was trans so he could have an excuse to not work ([[Autism|another one, that is]]). This wouldn't make much sense, since the breadwinning man would be absent, except that Chris [[Attraction Sign|absolutely expects the other woman in the relationship to work]] just as hard as the man would.
* This may be a last ditch effort to deny his [[Homos|homosexuality]]. In [[Mumble 1]] and [[Sonichu 9]], Chris explicitly states that he would rather go through a painful sex change than be gay. Given the [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.|risks]] he's taking to transition, it's very possible that he'd rather die than come out of the closet.
[[File:Da homos.jpg|thumb|right|Chris choosing between being a tranny and being gay. Note his personal signature below that statement.]]

==Timeline==
* [[March 2011|30 March 2011]] - Chris changes his [[PSN]] quote to "I am Tomgirl", foreshadowing the Tomgirl Pictures.
* [[April 2011|29 April 2011]] - Several pictures of Chris in his tomgirl attire are released. These pictures ended the speculation caused by Chris's most recent PSN quote, as well as marking the official start of the Tomgirl Saga.
* [[May 2011|14 May 2011]] - Chris removes the "I am Tomgirl" quote from his PSN account, immediately after PSN comes back online after a month of being inactive.
* 29 May 2011 - Chris discovers and joins the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum as Kookydashy. He makes three notable posts:
** [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Introductions!|Chris writes his introduction]] to his fellow tomboys and tomgirls.
** [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Chris describes how he came out]] as a tomgirl to his parents, as [[Bob]] called him a "fag", and [[Barb]] commented "I didn't raise a daughter".
** [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|Chris recounts an experience]] where he got yelled at by a [[jerkop]] for going to the women's restroom.
* [[June 2011|9 June 2011]] - In another post at the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum, [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|Chris reveals that Barb]] tried to pay him to stop wearing panties, only to refuse. He then goes on and suggests that all men should be legally required to wear [[Muscle bra|bras]].
* 17 June 2011 - [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Friendship Issues|Chris talks about himself]] in a post at the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum. He mentions how he had more [[gal-pals]] then male friends, and that [[dating education]] should be a mandatory class.
* 22 June 2011 - [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Reputation|Chris makes his final post]] on the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum before being discovered by the [[CWCki]], where he all but says he is Christian Weston Chandler, mentioning both his [[trolls]] and [[Sonichu]].
* [[July 2011|20 July 2011]] - [[Thorg]] discovers the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum, and makes an article about it on the CWCki.
* 21 July 2011 - Chris responds to the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia's discovery in a post, where he officially declares that he is Christian Weston Chandler. He complains about his trolls, and reassures his fellow posters that he is not a bad person. After talking about this with other posters for a few days, he stops posting on the forums, and later the forums are deleted.
* [[August 2011|6 August 2011]] - The next part of the Tomgirl Saga begins, when Chris returns to [[Youtube]]. He makes three videos, calling out various trolls and threatening to reveal their dox if they do not comply to his demands.
** [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Chris calls out]] [[Surfshack Tito]], and demands that he 1) admit to hacking PlayStation Network, 2) apologize to the [[Wallflower]] and her family, 3) send Chris $1,000, 4) delete all of his pages from the CWCki, and 5) apologize to Chris.
** [[Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Chris calls out]] [[Thorg]], and demands that he 1) put up a billboard in NYC declaring that Chris is straight, 2) delete all of his pages from the CWCki, and 3) apologize to Chris.
** [[Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Chris tells Thorg and Tito]] that they must respond to the [[Calling Out]] videos by August 31.
* 9 August 2011 - Two videos by Chris were released, and Tito releases a video responding to Chris.
** [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Chris calls out]] [[Alec Benson Leary]], simply demanding that he apologizes to Chris.
** [[It's not that cold|Chris goes outside,]] pretends to dig up [[Patti]], and wears her as a coat, in a parody of The Silence of the Lambs.
** [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don#Tito's official response|Tito responds to Chris,]] who is desperate in making sure Chris does not release his dox, and complies to Chris's demands.
* 10 August 2011 - Chris makes two more videos:
** [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Chris accepts Tito's attempts]] to meet Chris's demands, and re-calls out Thorg for not meeting Chris's demands.
** [[Correction of EX relationship status|Chris mentions that he never dated the]] [[Wallflower]], and that she was simply a female friend. Chris also mentions he has a new [[sweetheart]].
* 12 August 2011 - [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada|Chris unmasks Thorg,]] and reveals that he is Jeremy Slonwhite of Canada.
* 16 August 2011 - Chris makes another two videos, one regarding the Calling Out videos:
** [[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya|Chris calls out]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], and demands that he apologizes to Chris.
** [[Kaka Makeup Basics|Chris makes a makeup tutorial video]], reinforcing his tomgirl status.
* 20 August 2011 - [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Chris uploads a video where he sings about wristwatches]] dedicated to Thorg, which intimidates Thorg and causes him to leave the Internet.
* 23 August 2011 - Chris uploads another three videos:
** [[Re-Calling Ahuvia|Chris re-calls out Jack Thaddeus]], and reveals that he is a communist.
** [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David|Chris calls out]] [[BlueSpike]], and demands that he 1) stop people from prank calling Chris and yelling "JULAY", and 2) apologize to Chris.
** [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.|Chris shows off his hand-me-down laptop]] given to him by a fan, and mentions that he upgraded it.
* 28 August 2011 - A [[CWCki]] user by the name of Dinglebear, under the alias "CWCvilleProductions", uploads a video featuring Chris. In it, [[Victory Rockout|Chris rocks out]] to a ''Skyrim'' remix while celebrating his victory over Thorg.
* 29 August 2011 - [[Response to ADF|Chris responds to Jack Thaddeus]] who revealed he was ADF. Chris reinforces his [[homophobia]] while stating he also likes lesbians.
* 30 August 2011 - [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Chris unmasks Alec Benson Leary]] a day before the deadline, who has not responded to Chris's Calling Out videos. Chris reveals that he is Christopher Paul Whitney, a fat man on Youtube.
* 31 August 2011 - The deadline for Surfshack Tito, Thorg, and Alec Benson Leary to apologize to Chris.
* [[September 2011|6 September 2011]] - [[Bob]] dies of heart failure. Unfortunately, Chris's mourning put an abrupt end to the Calling Out videos.
* 15 September 2011 - The deadline for BlueSpike to apologize to Chris. However, Chris did not unmask BlueSpike as he was still in mourning.
* 14 August 2014 - Chris reveals on [[Facebook]] that he is not just a Tomgirl, but also a "Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body" and a "Tranny Cross-Dresser".
* 12 May 2015 - Facebook posts reveal that Chris is now perusing hormone replacement in order to become more physically feminine.
* 21 May 2015 - Chris turns his fursona, [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], into a Lesbian Transwoman.
* 1 [[November 2015]] - Chris abruptly resumes his [[Love Quest]] with [[HelloLadyFans]], asking for women of all orientations to come to him.
* 5 [[January 2016]] - Chris uploads a video hosting a lesbian sleepover for a [[Sex|Night of fun]].
* 5 [[May 2016]] - Chris files for a legal name change to Christine Weston Chandler.
* 31 May 2016 - The name change is granted.
* 24 July 2016 - Chris uploads a picture of his new driver's license to [[Facebook]], complete with an F for female.

== Fan works ==
<center>{{Collapsible|Fan Works|<gallery>
File:Would you mount and do me.jpg
File:Tomgirlart.jpg
File:Chrisgirlfriend.jpg
File:Tomgirl.jpg
File:Tomchu.png
File:Chris_x_Tomgirl.png
File:New-Anchuent-Form1.jpg
File:New-Anchuent-Form2.jpg
File:Cwcc.jpg|"IT'S A TRAP!"
File:Uguu.jpg
File:1314251396.scumdog cwc.png
File:Tomgirl_by_silphen.png
File:The_virginian_virgin.jpg
File:Chris_tran_by_linkcantriforce.jpg
File:Hemanchristian.jpg|Tomgirl or He-Man?
File:Whatcouldbe.jpg
File:ChantomimeDame.png|[[TRUE and HONEST]] picture from Chris's brief stint in British theatre
File:Chris's_True_Lego_Form.png|A true and honest minifigure.
File:ChrisBill.jpg|There are probably more, but here are the major ones.
File:Frickinlove1.jpg|Chris's ultimate dream - meeting a tomboy just like him.
</gallery>}}
</center>

==See also==
*[[Hair]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Gaybian]]
*[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
*[[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]

==References==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Chris and race

2017-08-05T02:05:53Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Jews */

{{Honest}}
[[Image: Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|200px|"[[Song_for_Jackie.MOV|I am not, nor would ever, making fun of any black people living, dead or fiction.]]"]]

'''Race''' is a thing that [[Chris]] has shown a variety of feelings for; unfortunately, they are not always in a positive light.

It is believed by some that Chris's racist tendencies can be traced at least partially to his Southern [[USA|U.S.]] heritage. However, certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of his worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, Chris seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes.

His racism probably comes from several sources: his parental upbringing, television, [[naïve]]te, and complete ignorance of everything that isn't him.

==Blacks==
[[File:Niggo.jpg|thumb|250px|His rationale for not being willing to date black women is that he's "Old Fashioned."]]
{{main|Niggos}}

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional, towards black people in particular, hence his use of the words "nigger" and "niggos."

==Asians==

[[File:0419-ChristianIs17-14.jpg|thumb|Chris standing awkwardly next to some Asians]]

In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris portrays [[Punchy Sonichu]] as a [[CWC Fighter|kung fu]] master with [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanty eyes]], raised in a dojo. When a fan criticized this stereotyping, Chris claimed that Punchy was "NOT of Asian origin."<ref>[[Mailbag 6]]</ref> Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of kung fu to Japan, when in actuality it comes from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, and claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> In a [[Katie Bay E-mails|leaked series of e-mails]], it is shown that Chris simply does not seem to know that China and Japan are not the same, as he calls the Japanese account Chinese, failing to realize that they are separate countries with different languages, writing systems and currencies.

In his real-life dealings, Chris seems to have a positive or at least a neutral view toward Asians. He has stated that he would not exclude Asian women from his [[Love Quest]], and at one point [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)|believed Emily to be part-Asian]]. However, he also said that meeting her was like having a [[Sailor Moon|''Pretty Girl Sailor Moon'']] character leap out of his television; a real Asian woman probably wouldn't be pleased to be imagined as animu wank fodder. It is also possible that Chris's view of "white" is simply "a person who isn't black".

Chris also mentioned receiving a graduation gift from Reverend Shin C. Kang (sp?) of Korean Hope Presbyterian Church of Richmond in the [[church audio]].<ref>[http://www.taxexemptworld.com/organizations/chesterfield-county-va-virginia.asp?spg=2]</ref>

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

===Ching Chong===
In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]], Chris presents us [[Chris and remorse|sincere apologies]] for having scared a small Chinese girl that [[Ivy]] tutored in art. The child, known only as '''Ching Chong''' (程鍾 ''Chéng Zhong'') is now traumatized due to her witnessing [[April 16 Fetish Vids|a video]] of Chris drinking his own [[semen|"navy"]] while innocently browsing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris never made a follow-up on the girl and never asked why her name was a known racial slur towards ethnic Asian communities. Chris also never questioned how a young child could make it all the way to the Christian Weston Chandler pages on Encyclopedia Dramatica without encountering something else as scarring, if not more so along the way. In the [[Wedding Comic]], Ching Chong is seen [[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|as a flower girl]].

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans. No, really.]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of Native Americans are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "[[Cherokian]]" heritage with ''Sonichu'' lore. He depicts [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|Cherokee]] characters in his work as white-skinned and blue-eyed, and wearing Ancient Roman-style armor ([[Wikipedia:Joseph Smith|Joseph Smith]] would be proud). The [[Wasabi Clan]] unsurprisingly also bear no resemblance to Native Americans.

Chris has also embodied his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize "[[My Little Pony]]" dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous "Cheroki-Chan", a Native American pony. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

In a shocking display of ignorance, Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water-washable paint (and a "[[muscle bra]]") and wields a plastic gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. True Cherokee wore vests most of the time, and there is little evidence to suggest they owned muscle bras. They also notably did not go to war with toy guns, but instead with bows and arrows, which Chris [[I AM STRONG|lacks the strength]] to use.

In a Facebook post, Chris announced that the prostitute whom he hired to be his virgin-taker was part Cherokee, a fact from which he seemed to derive a disproportional amount of pleasure despite the vague implications of [[Crystal Weston Chandler|incest]]. <ref>[[:File:Virginbreaker.png]]</ref> It is almost certain that the prostitute mentioned this because Chris did first, believing she would be interested.

==Jews==
{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel Michael Snyder!... JEW!|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris]]}}

Chris displays open antisemitic tendencies, many of which are believed by [[Trolls|Christorians]] to stem from his fondness for [[South Park]]. A similarly [[Obesity|fat]], [[Monthly tugboat|priveledged]], [[ego|entitled]] character in the show displays similar tendencies, and given Chris's tendency to copy mannerisms and things from even [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|the shittiest things he's watched]], it's entirely possible that this is, in fact, the original source (Chris has shown before that he has never been able to comprehend the satire and pro-tolerance undertones of shows like ''South Park'' and ''Family Guy'', even using quotes from ''Family Guy'' in an attempt to justify his homophobia).

Regardless of where it comes from, Chris has a long history of veiled antisemitism. In "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]", Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate [[Wikipedia:Hanukkah|Hanukkah]]. On December 12, members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has seven candles in it, while the traditional menorah used on Hanukkah in real life, called a ''Hanukkiah'', has nine) instead of Christmas Trees, with [[Wikipedia:dreidel|dreidels]] lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in real life Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. e.g., when Sonichu's daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift! Also, because ''apparently'' Hanukkah is the only Jewish holiday, and so candles (especially single ones not on menorot) are super-important to Jews!

Cerah also makes the flavor vanilla, just in case poor Kevin had any nut/chocolate allergies. Instead of simply ''asking'' if he's allergic, she just assumes it. Because Jews are sickly Melvins with many allergies, you see.

On 25 [[November 2009]], Chris was presented in the [[Mailbag]] with a drawing of a fan made Jewish Sonichu character named Harvey Bulbastein. The character had a large nose and seemed to show a liking for money, evident by him holding a bill in his hand and being the owner of the CWCville bank.<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Jewish stereotypes]]</ref> Chris thanked the mailer for sending him the drawing and said he would consider incorporating the character into his comics, suggesting that the anti-Semitic tone evident in the drawing went over Chris's head. On 18 [[February 2009]], while conversing with [[Julie]], Chris was asked by her to imitate a Jewish person. Chris decided to imitate [[wikipedia:Mort Goldman|Mort Goldman]],<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5#Geography, Father Talk (00:05:55)]]</ref> a stereotypical Jewish character from [[Family Guy]].

Near the beginning of Chris's [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|latest]] (unsuccessful) attempt to be unbanned from the [[The GAMe PLACe]], he casually pointed out that Michael Snyder was probably Jewish, using his last name as a point of reference ("Snyder" is a very common German last name, meaning "to cut"). Of course with Chris being the [[slow-in-the-minds|idiot]] he is, it ended with him angrily calling Snyder a Jew. Given the use of the word as an insult, and Chris using it in context with other words denoting a type of sin it shows just how tolerant he is of other religions. In a later video ([[Greene County Conspiracy|100 2178]]), Chris appears to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

If Chris's antisemitism was veiled before, it becomes extremely apparent in an email he sent to [[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Katie Bay while impersonating Samantha Thaddeus]]. While talking about Michael Snyder, he refers to him as a "son of a bitch Jew" and a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew".

==Hispanics==
[[File:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG|thumb|left|Espanolic and Vegaton, the only [[Pokémon]] lazier than [[Snorlax]].]]

Aside from his rather tenuous grasp on the [[Spanish]] language, Chris has created a somewhat racist caricature in the form of [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]]. It's a Grass-type [[Pokémon]] that resembles an anthropomorphized [[Wikipedia:Sombrero|sombrero]] in front of what appears to be the flag of [[Wikipedia:Flag of Bolivia|Bolivia]] or [[Wikipedia:Flag of Ghana|Ghana]], and its main attack is confusing its enemies with its "strange language". Its evolved form, Vegaton, has an attack called "[[Wikipedia:Spanish fly|Spanish Fly]]", that puts its enemies to sleep.

Hilariously enough, [[Nintendo]] would later create similar Pokémon named Lombre and Ludicolo, which, despite being obvious stereotypes, were handled far more tactfully than Chris could hope to do.

So far, the only Hispanic character in the comics is [[Heather Iglesias]], the [[Homos|lesbian]] nanny of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]]. Chris is probably trying to be inclusive here, but he isn't creative or intelligent enough to think of anything besides a stereotypical occupation for Hispanic women.

It may also be notable that oftentimes, Chris refers to Hispanic people as being "Spanish". While not totally inaccurate, the word "Spanish" is usually reserved for people actually from Spain, whereas "Hispanic" is used for peoples from countries that predominately speak Spanish (a good comparison would be referring to people from the USA as "English").

Chris has shown in the past a willingness to [[Joshua Martinez|befriend]] and [[Lori Lopez|date]] Hispanics.

==Other white ethnicities/cultures==
Chris has not shown outright malevolence towards other white cultures, but is often offensively ignorant of their customs and nations. In [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]], Chris plays an Irish song while wearing a kilt and pretending to be Scottish, then mentions a [[Wikipedia:Shillelagh_(club)|shillelagh]]. His interactions with [[PandaHalo]] revealed that he knew almost nothing about Australia or Australians, climactically thinking Panda had died in the [[Wikipedia:Black_Saturday_bushfires|Black Saturday fires]] which happened almost a thousand kilometres from where she claimed to live. He holds the bizarre notion that [[Leonard Bearstein]] misinterpreted his name because he was British (certainly told to him by his parents, as he was too young to think that way).

[[Julie]] claimed to be from a [[Molvania|fictional country]] in Eastern Europe, as did her brother [[Max]]. Chris hardly asked any questions about this non-existent country, nor did he (or Bob) question the fact that both Julie and Max spoke with American accents. There are of course many other relevant cultures and ethnicities, but owing to Chris's total failure to understand abstract descriptions of places he hasn't been to physically, he is either unaware of or indifferent to their existence.

==Parental influence==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|right|Bob intimidating the trolls.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern [[United States of America|United States]] before the civil rights movement and [[Prank_calls#Call_Bobby_Chandler|has claimed to have acquaintances in the Ku Klux Klan activity growing up]], perhaps he had some racial prejudices that were passed on to Chris. In a [[Prank_calls#Call_Bobby_Chandler|2010 prank call]], Bob said ''"I’ve seen crosses burning, fella. I've seen 'em. And you don’t wanna see it."'' Of course, he was being constantly bothered at by prank callers, and may have just made comments to intimidate them into stop calling him. Chris claims he got a [[Barack Obama|slightly racist joke]] from Bob.

[[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] has not been publicly observed to hold racist opinions, but, as with so many subjects, seems to have done nothing to correct Chris's opinions about it, meaning she is at least guilty of being passive about racism. It is possible that she may have some prejudices not revealed to the public - the Michael Snyder anti-Jew paranoia, for instance, was very unlikely to have been abstractly contrived by Chris, and Barb was an enthused participant.

Also, both Bob and Barb graduated from racially segregated high schools (and in Bob's case, a racially segregated college), suggesting that they experienced racism head-on during their childhoods. Although this does not necessarily mean that they were racists during their younger years, they do seem to have ludicrous hillbillyish ideas about foreign cultures, such as believing and telling Chris that Leonard Bearstein misinterpreted his name because he was English (even though Christopher is an English name), and Bob being unfazed by a [[Julie|purported Eastern European]] speaking English fluently with an American accent. In the same vein, they have both expressed [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|anti-LGBT sentiments]], a prejudice usually accompanied by racism. Also, Chris himself is very racist, and he frankly had to learn it from somewhere.

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides Southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical [[Adult Swim]] cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|''The Boondocks'']]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in ''Sonichu'' with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[random-access humor]] and [[Punchy Sonichu|martial arts]].

Chris, despite claiming [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic. Chris most likely has no idea what kind of rituals took place in Native American culture. If he did, he would know that some tribes slit their [[duck|cocks]] to [[Chris and religion|please their gods]].

==Not a racist?==
[[Image:ECP 00024.jpg|thumb|left|Chris being a [[niggo|wiggo]].]]
{{quote|And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews.|Chris, in response to a [[Mailbag_6#Rejected_Mailbag|rejected mailbag]] email}}

{{quote|Blacks...are good people too.|Chris, in the [[Song_for_Jackie.MOV|disclaimer for his Mr. Popo video]]}}

Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville "they can even vote", but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. Also of note, every single black person in ''Sonichu'' is depicted as a villain, a criminal or otherwise undesirable. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too. In an [[IRC (17 December 2008)|IRC]], Chris said he has no problem with dating an Asian. Later, in [[Mailbag 35]], he wrote he would date "Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries" (except the ones being black).

Realistically, Chris's racism doesn't stem from white supremacy, or anything cerebral - it's simply a phobia of people and cultures he doesn't understand. Like most things in his life, [[Chris and reality|Chris has no real knowledge and bases everything off what he's seen on TV]], so Chris's perception of minorities is only what the TV shows him, since encountering them in real life is something that rarely occurs.

===Improved race relations?===
{{Tinyquote|1=Who my nigga? Who my nigga, dog?|2=[[Lars Call|Lars]]}}
{{Tinyquote|2=Chris, [[Wikipedia:Code-switching|code-switching]] in solidarity with the niggas|I'm yo nigga.}}

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|left|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her breasts.]]

An [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|image]] leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves to us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[Love Quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

===Nope, no improved race relations===
[[Image:Chrishunwessonkramer.jpg|thumb|"Fitty years ago you'da been hung from a damn dirty tree!"]]

If anyone had any misconceptions that Chris had evolved into some sort of post-racial autistic, they should be aware that he ended [[Sonichu Day]] by calling Tito a "nigger" in "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]" and in the [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]], making him an official racist. (The repercussions of this event included [[Jack Thaddeus]] removing his ads from CWCipedia and [[Mao]] taking over the site for a short time, leading to a massive amount of vandalism.) He later performed [[Song for Jackie.MOV|a song in ''blackface'']] for his sweetheart [[Jackie]]. {{clear}}

In the new pages of [[Sonichu 11]] which were uploaded in 2015 [[Blake]] is mistaken as black and goes on an angry rant about how his skin in not "sunburn color". Keep in mind that 2015 is a year in which Chris became more openly supportive the LGBT community. Given this it is not unreasonable to assume that Chris is still racist towards black people.

==Minority characters in ''Sonichu''==
*[[Kevin the Jew|Kevin]] (Jewish, good but immature)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (<s>Paleface</s> Native American, lawful good)
*[[Wes Iseli#Wasabi Rival|Wasabi Rival]] (<s>Caucasian</s> Native American, evil)
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer#Queen of the Cherokian Clan|Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] - (Native American, good, probably the whitest of all Native American characters in the comics as she's not only blue eyed but also blonde)
*[[Manajerks#B-Manajerk|B-Manajerk]] (black, evil)
*[[Barack Obama]] (half black)
*Blake (black, evil turned good)
*[[CADD Chef]] (black, evil)
*[[Florance Fisher]] (black, good)
*[[Jerkhief]] (black, lawful evil)
** Occasionally other [[Jerkop]]s are shown to be black as well. No other minorities are apparent.
*[[Punchy]] (East Asian, good)
*[[Silvana]] (black, evil [said to turn good])
*[[Manajerks#Turdijerk and Trebor Capman (Accomplice)|Turdijerk]] (Indian?, drawn with tan skin, evil)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (black, TRUE and HONEST police officers)
*[[Inos]] (black, [[tobacky]] smoker)
*[[Heather Iglesias]] (Hispanic, lesbian, good, never seen)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist)|Bill Schwartz]] (possibly Jewish, worked for [[Giovanni]] but later on changed sides)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|Ching Chong]] (Asian, appeared in the [[Wedding Comic]] as a flower girl)
*PHI Spring Break reporter (Black, appears in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]) - despite only appearing in one panel, Chris manages to make her into a stereotype, addressing the audience as "Sistas and brothas."

In the [[Mailbag]], when Chris is confronted about the lack of minorities in his comic he claims that all of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are considered "minorities" in CWCville, implying that he completely missed the point of the question.

==Sources==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

HarassCWCdirectly

2017-08-04T08:08:23Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Video */

{{Ongoing}}

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[File:HarassCWCdirectlySYMBOL.png|right|150px|#HarassCWCdirectly]]</div>
'''#HarassCWCdirectly''' is a hashtag campaign [[Chris]] made on Twitter as a response to one of [[DoopieDoOver]]'s posts. Doopie stated the unambiguous fact that Chris' harassment towards her is "beyond scary"; [[Autism|Chris somehow interpreted this as referring to his trolls instead of him]]. As a result, Chris got upset that they were supposedly attacking his [[sweetheart]], and decided to make a speech as a means of attacking them in a [[video]] he uploaded on 2 [[August 2017]]. However, like every other speech Chris has ever made, [[Chris and oration|it is very poorly made]], not only because he decided to ignore the point completely like in many of his other speeches, but because of the fact that he flat out tells all of the [[trolls]] to start harassing him, instead of Doopie, the one thing that [[Chris and stress|stresses]] him out. The speech itself is essentially just Chris saying ''"If you want to harass Doopie, you're going to have to get past me first."'' It is an unusual instance of Chris [[White knight|white knighting]] someone else, however misguided or unnecessary his efforts may be.

Note the incorrect dating of the Captain's log video. Given [[Chris and anger|Chris' anger]], his attention was [[China|elsewhere]] during production.

==Prelude==
{{quote|#NationalGirlfriendDay Just to name a few: @DoopieDoOver...|Chris tags Doopie in a tweet—the catalyst}}

On 1 August 2017, Chris tagged Doopie, among several other female Twitter users, in a [[August 2017 tweets##NationalGirlfriendDay|tweet celebrating National Girlfriend Day]]. Later that day, Doopie replied ''"You don't know me,"'' firmly establishing that their relationship was only merchant-customer. Doopie went on to state that Chris' interactions both on and off Twitter made her uncomfortable. Chris' tweet also [[August 2017 tweets#MLP VA tires of CWC notifications|caught the attention]] of Tabitha St. Germain, a [[My Little Pony]] voice actor, prompting Chris to produce [[Chris and remorse|a long-winded apology]] (which also gave insight into his campaign). Realizing the chaos caused, Chris deleted the tweet days later.

==Video==
{{honest}}
{{tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = CLog 07072017 #HarassCWCdirectly
| video = {{#ev:youtube|v=qHEBIeREJAw}}
| stardate = 2 August 2017
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Violence|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| Saga = {{Doopie|text}}
| shirt = {{(Clopper)|text}}
| previous = [[CLog 07142017 - Rainbow Colouring]]
| next =
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox|This is the Official YouTube channel of the one and only creator and author of the Sonichu and Rosechu series, Christine Weston Chandler (AKA Christian, Christopher, Chris Chan, Ricardo); me. Links to my personal Facebook and Twitter pages, as well as my stores of Sonichu and Rosechu, and self, merchandise are available for purchase. Among which, more items are to come in the future, so stay tuned for the updates when I make them personally.}}

===Transcript===

[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Let's... crap]] for a moment... okay? Because... you're harassing other people, and it's at my expense! I... do not... appreciate that. If you wanna harass somebody, about me, talk bad about me, you have to send that harassment DIRECTLY to ''ME''. NO ONE ELSE. I will not... have my friends... and allies... be disturbed... so abruptly... every time. So don't harass this person, DON'T HARASS THAT PERSON. You wanna arg- you want to TALK SMACK ABOUT ME, {{RageQuote|YOU TALK ''DIRECTLY TO ME!'' DO YOU UNDERSTAND?}} And don't ever let me catch you- talking b-about me to anyone else's timelines, comments sections, Twitter, or wherever, that's outside of [[CWCki Forums|your own goddamn forum]], you ''[[trolls]]''! [''punches palm''] Don't ever let me catch you badmouthing me to ANYONE, harassing {{RageQuote|THEM at MY EXPENSE!}} DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! You better '''DAMN WELL''' understand me.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CLog 07142017 - Rainbow Colouring]]|nextlink=}}

==#DontHarassMe==

[[File:DontHarassMe.jpg|thumb|right|200px|[[Nintendo|''CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER'']]]]
Chris also introduced the secondary hashtag '''#DontHarassMe''', accompanied by a drawing of [[Chris and the Law|mugshots]].<ref>[https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/892784577240080384 #DontHarassMe]</ref> Though surpassed in popularity by Chris' first hashtag, once again, the intention of this hashtag was to divert the trolls away from his friends, including those at [[Planet Dolan]], towards himself.

==See Also==

*[[Doopie]]
*[[Planet Dolan]]
*[[Chris and oration]]

==References==
<references />

March 2017 Facebook Posts

2017-07-30T04:21:25Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Not planning to buy a Nintendo Switch yet */

This page is an archive of Chris' [[Facebook]] posts during [[March 2017]]. Posts are sorted by date and linked to the source material from Facebook. Notable comments will be archived and color-coded for reference; those who consistently respond to Chris' posts, e.g. [[William Elliott Waterman]] and Jessica Quinn, are colored in red and green respectively, while infrequent responders are colored in orange, yellow or purple.

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1321779707916505 Selling Bob's stamp collection]==
1 March at 1:16 am
{{quotebox|I am selling my father's stamp collection (it's mostly UN First Day Covers); still Very Collectible and can become more valuable in years. Lots More Covers to be added; check out what I've listed and please buy.}}

He linked to [[EBay#Bob's stamp collection|one of the listings]].

==[https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1321781417916334&set=a.221793344581819.52126.100002534669114&type=3 Rainbow stamp]==
1 March at 1:19 am

{{quotebox|I do like this stamp of a rainbow flavor. #LGBTQ

[[File:Rainbow stamp.jpeg|200px]]}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1322102297884246&set=a.231211170306703.53887.100002534669114&type=3 Updated cover photo]==
1 March at 10:24 am

Chris liked the rainbow stamp from the previous post so much that he made it into his Facebook cover photo.

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1322114231216386 More stamps for sale]==
1 March at 10:46 am

{{quotebox|More from the collection will be added intermittently, so stay tuned and buy for your stamp collection.}}

He linked to [http://www.ebay.com/sch/pristinechristine1982/m.html?item=282378901888&ssPageName=STRK%3AMESELX%3AIT&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2562 his Ebay page], and to his [[I'm selling my father's stamp collection; come on down and buy some of it]] video.

==[https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1322201011207708&set=a.221793344581819.52126.100002534669114&type=3 Stamp trivia]==
1 March at 12:58 pm

{{quotebox|I just added some more covers onto eBay; surprise to find Four stamps on one cover, since word is that the stamp limit on an item sent through the UN is Three.

[[File:Stamps scroll.jpg|200px]]}}

He followed up with a comment:

{{quotebox|Good for you if you can understand what it says on the scroll in the upper left; I do not know what it says.}}

(The text on the scroll is in French and reads "We, people of united nations, resolve to preserve future generations from the scourge of [[Death_threats|war]].")

==[https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1322261644534978&set=a.110060325755122.19471.100002534669114&type=3 New profile photo - Fight like a girl]==
1 March at 2:20 pm

[[File:Fight like a girl meme.jpg|250px]]

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1322343817860094 Promoting Ebay page]==
1 March at 4:07 pm

{{quotebox|Go to my eBay for the available and to-be-available stamps and covers from my father's collection.}}

He linked to [http://www.ebay.com/sch/pristinechristine1982/m.html?item=282378901888&ssPageName=STRK%3AMESELX%3AIT&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2562 his Ebay page].

==[https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1323183661109443&set=a.221793344581819.52126.100002534669114&type=3 Message to Number 45]==
2 March at 4:41 pm

{{quotebox|With what I am seeing from the UN's stamp and cover collections, if [[Pmurt|You-Know-Who (Number 45)]] saw these, he'd make a Tweet. Love for the United Nations for supporting the races and the LGBTQ.}}

He linked to [http://www.ebay.com/sch/pristinechristine1982/m.html?item=282378901888&ssPageName=STRK%3AMESELX%3AIT&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2562 his Ebay page].

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1324251447669331 Offering personal stamp album for $1,000]==
3 March at 8:51 pm

{{quotebox|I'm adding my one-of-a-kind Beginner's Stamp Album; past And present Self Signatures.}}

He linked to [http://www.ebay.com/itm/Christine-Chandlers-First-Stamp-Album-1992-Onward-/282382503232?hash=item41bf4f0d40:g:zLAAAOSwCU1Yuhs0 the listing].

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1324572330970576 Not planning to buy a Nintendo Switch yet]==
4 March at 6:03 am

{{quotebox|Just, for the record, I am not planning on getting a Nintendo Switch, at least until if and when I can afford to. [[Autism|I am still confused: is it meant Mainly to be a TV or Handheld console]]?}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1325263454234797 Shared link on trans issues]==
5 March at 12:04 am

==[https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1328095860618223&set=a.278642068896946.64983.100002534669114&type=3 Blue Apron]==
7 March at 7:15 pm

{{quotebox|I just got and made our first meal from Blue Apron: Soy-Glazed Chicken. The packing method is well done and organized. Wrapped in a cool foil lining in a box, the meats were surrounded by large ice packs. And they have a recycling program for the trash. Anyway, all of the premeasured ingredients were enclosed, the instructions were worded good, and it all came out real good.

Try it for yourself, and get three free meals with a two meal purchase, thanks to ScrewAttack with blueapron.com/deathbattle.

[[File:Blue apron.jpeg|250px]]}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1328913610536448 Better at eye contact]==
8 March at 12:58 pm

Chris reacted to [[March 2013 Facebook posts#Eye-Contact|his own post from 2013]].

{{quotebox|I have an easier time giving eye contact now; darn, it did used to be more difficult to do.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1328915647202911 Happy Women's Day]==
8 March at 1:01 pm

{{quotebox|Happy #InternationalWomensDay to all of the ladies. And I want to extend my heart and soul in support to everyone in the Women's Day Protest. We will not stand for any bigotry or discriminative behaviors, including those from the world's leaders.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1329392833821859 People should be more open-minded]==
8 March at 11:54 pm

Chris shared [https://www.facebook.com/lgbtqnation/posts/10154338511851717 a post from LGBTQ Nation] and reacted to it.

{{quotebox|He has a good response, even I can use it for myself:

I have seen millions of people, mixed of skin colors, country backgrounds, differing sexual identities and orientations, cross-dressers, various levels of intelligence, varying religions, and many more, in media and in person; I never thought of myself different from and other than who I was, am, and continue to be.

The BIG picture is people fear that they do not understand, or their base knowledge of that fear was an out-of-context misunderstanding. People should take a few minutes with an open heart and open mind to learn about that which they fear or are concerned about.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1329411280486681 Trump is detached from reality]==
9 March at 12:18 am

Chris shared a comic image criticizing Trump.

[[File:Trump personality disorder.png|250px]]

==[https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1330190517075424&set=a.221793344581819.52126.100002534669114&type=3 International Women's Year Stamp]==
9 March at 4:35 pm

{{quotebox|Found a new stamp to Really Like! We Women deserve another Year to be Celebrated! #InternationalWomensYear

[[File:International womens year stamps.jpeg|250px]]}}

He linked to [http://www.ebay.com/itm/United-Nations-1975-International-Womens-Year-Cover-f-s0-90-/282389661118?hash=item41bfbc45be:g:RK8AAOSwsW9YwclS the Ebay listing for it]. He also updated his Facebook cover photo to feature that picture.

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1331326943628448 I Am Woman]==
10 March at 10:08 pm

{{quotebox|Me too. I Am Woman, and nobody else is going to tell me otherwise or mislabeled.
}}

He linked to [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/09/trans-cis-let-women-be-what-they-want-jenni-murray-artificial-definitions-feminine?CMP=share_btn_fb an article].

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1332393873521755 Shared memory on social anxiety]==
12 March at 12:11 am

He saw [[March 2016 Facebook Posts#Social anxiety|his own post from 2016]] and shared it.

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1332395070188302 Shared post on dental work for Ellie Quinn]==
12 March at 12:14 am

He linked to [https://www.gofundme.com/elliequinnteeth a fundraiser].

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1332393873521755 Shared memory on prospects]==
12 March at 9:42 am

He saw [[March 2015 Facebook posts#Prospects? PROSPECTS?!|his own post from 2015]] and shared it.

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1333949763366166 Keep an open heart for bisexuals]==
13 March at 10:11 am

{{quotebox|We all should always have an open heart for bisexuals.}}

He linked to [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dear-lesbians-and-gays-im-bisexual-and-you-treated-me-like-crap_us_58c1a38be4b054a0ea68e31c?section=us_queer-voices an article].

He also posted to the article's comment section.

{{quotebox|I empathize with you, Beth. I was ignored by others and mistreated for a while. And I'm counting the internet Trolls and bullies in that. I have seen kindness in the LGBTQ community, and yet I am also aware of the few out of them who feel misunderstood and left out, and feel upset. All that aside, people are people. And I can tell you to simply continue with your life, Continue to hold your Bisexuality Proud and Loud. There are people who have open hearts for bisexuals, and I am one of them.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1334118116682664 Bonus for $1,000 stamp album]==
13 March at 2:05 pm

{{quotebox|Bonus Added: Ten randomly selected UN covers, and a set of seven commemorative used stamps in set bags.}}

He linked to the listing and updated it.

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1335458933215249 Shared article on Trump supporters]==
15 March at 3:00 am

He linked to [http://samuel-warde.com/2017/03/time-reality-check-trump-supporters/ an article].

==[https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1337926129635196&set=a.221793344581819.52126.100002534669114&type=3 St. Patrick's and an Autobot]==
17 March at 11:17 pm

{{quotebox|Happy St. Patrick's Day.

[[File:St patrick's.jpg|250px]]}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1337927759635033 Buy more stamps]==
17 March at 11:20 pm

{{quotebox|Brought to you by Mr. Bobby C's Stamp Collection; come on up, and buy some stamps/covers [[Lie|to help support the Chandler family here]].}}

He linked to his Ebay.

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1337980052963137 Five songs to describe life]==
18 March at 1:01 am

[[File:Screenshot-www.facebook.com 2017-03-17 22-02-09.png|250px]]

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1338957919532017 Please buy stamps]==
19 March at 3:26 am

{{quotebox| feeling concerned.

Please, Buy My Stamps. [[Lie|My mother and I can Really do with the money]].}}

At 3:35 am, Chris uploaded a copy of his [[I'm selling my father's stamp collection; come on down and buy some of it]] video to Facebook.

It should be noted that Chris had made $85 in sales [[List of toys#Bought in 2017 from eBay|then quickly spent]] [[List of Chris's video games#PlayStation 4 (PS4)|$90 on toys]].

'''Comments'''

Waterman

{{quoteboxred|I thought I read that you spent some money on lego sets after you sold some stamps. What kind of bills did that help pay?}}

Chris

{{quotebox|[[Lie|For your information, I did NOT buy any lego sets, and the money went towards our debtor payments.]]}}

Kim Wilson:

{{quoteboxorange|Christine Weston Chandler I think you're confused.

I've seen some of your purchases listed, and all the account information seems to check out.

So so everyone knows: Christine Weston Chandler does generally spend money on legos and toys, but when there's spare money, it might go to bills.

Just to clarify your post. }}

==[https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1339634182797724&set=a.221793344581819.52126.100002534669114&type=3 More stamps]==
19 March at 10:12 pm

{{quotebox|The featured cover from the set of covers just added onto my shop is one of the 25th Anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights from 1973}}

He linked to his Ebay.

==[https://www.facebook.com/NEWSLGBT/posts/1486838794668565?comment_id=1488121541206957&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R0%22%7D Pakistani transgender cartoon]==
20 March at 12:59 am

{{quotebox|Is this cartoon translated to English yet?}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1341391735955302 Explaining Son-Chu's design]==
Chris posts about reading the [[Son-Chu]] article on this wiki and explains his design inspiration for it.

21 March at 8:13 pm

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time. As for why I made a fresh drawing and uploaded it on St. Patrick's Day, regardless of the holiday, will be revealed soon.

[[File:Sonchu explain 1.jpeg|200px]]
[[File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|200px]]
[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|200px]]
}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1342553162505826 Damn you, Trump! Give PBS its money]==
23 March at 1:03 am

{{quotebox|Damn You, Trump! Elmo, Cookie Monster, AND Telly?! What next? Big Bird? Give Public Broadcasting their money, you Mean One, Mister Grump.

<nowiki>#SaveElmo #SaveCookieMonster #SaveTelly</nowiki>}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1342596569168152 Not-clean joke]==
23 March at 2:17 am

{{quotebox|I have one not-clean joke to add:

I like going to the restroom; every time, I win with a Royal Flush.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1343551302406012 Look like Ariana Grande]==
24 March at 1:42 am

{{quotebox|Nice!

[[File:Ariana grande cwc.png|200px]]}}

For some reason, that message was posted 10 times in a row.

==[https://www.facebook.com/LGBTHistoryMonth/posts/10158288462345184?comment_id=10158292859025184&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R0%22%7D Transgenders in locker rooms]==
Chris read an article on a lawsuit filed by a male student (Joel Doe), who claimed discrimination because a transgender student was using the same locker room.

24 March at 1:54 am

{{quotebox|I say to Joel Doe, Suck It Up, kid. If a lack of a penis on someone bothers you, look at someone else who has one. After all, a penis is an outward-grown clitoris.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1344491545645321 Trump meme]==
25 March at 1:47 am

{{quotebox|Trump gets into Mack truck; Optimus Prime and Megatron GROAN in grotesque.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1344523078975501 Personality color quiz]==
25 March at 2:40 am

{{quotebox|Me gusta azul.

[[File:Personality quiz.jpeg|200px]]}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1347245512036591 Raffle for new merch]==
27 March at 10:55 pm

{{quotebox|<nowiki>**ANNOUNCEMENT: Special Giveaway Starting This Week**</nowiki>

I have created the Prototype of a new piece of Sonichu Merchandise, with custom package; I am feeling in good mood to make two more of this item, which I will reveal by the end of the week in a new "review" video.

Entry is automatic with the purchase of one of the stamp and stamp-related items from my eBay shop; Limit one entry per individual name and address set. Purchase is required for entry. If you miss out on an item in the shop, more Will be added.

<nowiki>http://www.ebay.com/sch/pristinechristine1982/m.html?isRefine=true&item=282382503232&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2562&_mwBanner=1</nowiki>

The Prizes are as followed: One Winner will receive One of the new figure, as well as one Christine Weston Chandler Skylander Imaginator custom Figure. Fifteen Runner-ups will each receive one Skylander Imaginator-Functional custom Card of my Christine Weston Chandler character.

BONUS: if the Stamp Album is sold, that buyer will automatically receive the third of the new figure, as well as one Christine Weston Chandler Skylander custom Figure, And one functional card of the same character.

Random Drawing: The Giveaway time will between March 27, 2017 and April 31st, 2017 at 11:59 PM, Eastern Standard Time; 3:59 AM Pacific Time. The Drawing will take place, personally, on or around May 1st, 2017. All Prizes will be shipped out respectively during, or before, the month of June, 2017. Chances of winning will depend on number of entries received.

[[File:Raffle1.jpeg|200px]]
[[File:Raffle2.jpeg|200px]]
}}

He followed up with another post the next day.

28 March at 10:00 am

{{quotebox|You have a chance to win a Skylanders figure of myself (official Sonichu merch), or one of 15 character-included cards, and the new character figure (to be revealed later this week). Buy one or more of the stamps from my eBay shop for entry, Today. Or, even better, Automatic Win with purchase of my Beginners Stamp Album.}}

He linked to both his Ebay and his [[Skylanders Imaginators Leader Christine W Chandler: random Review N' Stuff]] video.

{{facebook}}

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

2017-07-24T04:31:33Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Ivy on CRAPPED BRIEFS */

{{Honest}}
{{quote|You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants.|[[Chris]], [[Don'tPintheOop]]}}

[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's gay evil twin shits himself and wets his pants.]]

'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is trollish shorthand used in reference to Chris's troubles with [[Wikipedia:Fecal_leakage|fecal leakage]]. Coined by Chris himself in an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from January 2009, it has quickly become a popular catchphrase.

In short, Chris unwittingly shits himself often. Even after encouragement from his doctor and from his mother, Chris would refuse to wear [[butt garments]] because, according to the [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|Ivy Q&A]], he felt they were for [[Sonee & Rosey|babies]]. He had only one or two episodes where he wore the butt garments; though they were only worn because Ivy told him it was his punishment for cheating on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. Based on his own comments on the subject and those of people who've managed to get close to him (particularly his now-deceased sweetheart [[Ivy]]), [[stress]] tends to inspire these episodes, but at other times he appears to be too lazy, careless, or distracted to bother making his way to a toilet.

==Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
Chris first alluded to difficulty controlling his bowels during a December 2008 [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]] with [[PandaHalo]], where he admitted that he sometimes mistook a bowel movement for gas and shat himself as a consequence. He said it did not happen often, and replied with an emphatic "NO" when Panda suggested that he wear adult diapers to deal with the problem.

Ground zero for the CRAPPED BRIEFS phenomenon was 20 January 2009, when Chris made a bizarre slip while arguing with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] on IRC. When prodded by the trolls concerning his alleged fondness for wearing women's underwear, Chris angrily retorted, "I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS." On further prodding from the trolls, he went on to reveal that most of the time he didn't even realize he'd crapped his briefs until well after the fact.

Later, during the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] episode, Chris shat himself in mid-conversation while sparring with [[BlueSpike]]. Shortly before "Max" forced Chris to shove his [[medallion]] up his ass, he asked if Chris had lost control. Chris first shouted "MAYBE!", and then gave up and admitted "...Yes."

[[Image:Dirtycrappedbriefgoboom.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's typical reaction when "something happens downstairs" in public.]]

On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] that he craps his pants when he's stressed and claimed that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.

On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a [[Mailbag]] correspondent who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it.<ref>[[Mailbag 7]]</ref> Given Chris's gloried history of [[Honest content|bad taste and indiscretion]], this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or, perhaps, he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.

Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john", Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes", as if he's embarrassed to mention them. Yet ironically, DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS are not a personal subject.

In an [[Jackie Chat 9|AIM chat conducted on 20 October 2010]], Chris revealed to [[Jackie]] that on many occasions where he turns what was once white into brown, it slips out painlessly and that he doesn't know until he sits down. In fact, he had shat himself at the exact point where she asked about the term "DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". He blamed it on "stress" that he had from earlier in the session, which involved recalling tales of high school bullying. He then stated that it had happened in previous chats between them and that they might have a "psychic link."

On [[Don'tPintheOop|30 October 2010]], Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he loses control, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall, and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes, everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to ''driving home'' with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the ever expanding list of reasons why not to accept a ride from Chris.

In a [[July 2011]] post on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he now only wears panties and refuses to wear briefs. <ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315]</ref> Ironically, Chris's desperation to prove he does not wear women's underwear is what led him to reveal his "problem" to the world. No word on whether or not Chris has had to deal with DIRTY, CRAPPED PANTIES yet, although evidence suggests he has.

==Ivy on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
[[File:Ship my bed.jpg|thumb|Normal behavior for Chris.]]
[[Ivy]]'s postmortem [[Ivy Q&A|account of her time with Chris]] sheds some more light on Chris's incontinence issues. Chris has had trouble controlling his bowels ever since he was a child, she says, but the problem became more acute after he finished school, especially whenever he got stressed out.

In the spring of 2009, the subject had become a source of serious contention between Chris and [[Barbara]]. At the time, Chris would considerately toss his dirty underwear, still fully loaded with excrement, in the family's communal laundry basket. Eventually they brought up the problem with their doctor, who advised Chris to make changes to his diet and exercise routine, and possibly wear protective garments.

Chris didn't think much of these suggestions, especially the notion that he should wear "diapers" — "[[My Little Pony|That's]] [[Lego|for]] [[Toys|babies]]!" was his comment. At first, Barbara tried to force the issue by refusing to do his laundry, in the hope that Chris would either wear the diapers or actually do the adult thing and start washing his own clothes. Of course, Chris did neither; a short while later he was called by a troll who pretended to be Clyde Cash and made a series of [[death threats]], making Chris genuinely afraid for his life and leading to him dropping a massive load in his sheets while asleep that night. After that, Barb relented and started washing Chris's laundry again.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> As of now, thankfully for us, we have yet to see the after-effects of the DIRTY, CRAPPED BED.

Additionally, given the filthy condition of the Chandler house, this is also a straight-up guarantee that Chris, Barbara, Bob (when he was alive), and nearly anyone who enters his house enters a dung cave of no escape: having to deal with Chris' shit leaves you coated in it, both metaphorically and literally. [http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/washing-machines-loaded-bacteria-dirty-clothes/story?id=10751420]

It's a particularly Chris-like sort of irony that he finds the suggestion of wearing diapers an insult to his maturity level, but sees no implications regarding that same maturity in the fact that he routinely shits his pants.

Considering that Chris's bowel issues have been occurring since childhood, it's most likely related to his [[autism]], as bowel issues have been known to occur among people with the disorder, particularly in the more severely-affected types.

==Menstrual pads==
During the [[Tomgirl Saga]], the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] leaked images of Chris holding a box of feminine hygiene pads<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.661/page-526#post-1298729</ref> and explained the context:

{{quoteboxred|Heh, also, Chris got these to control his pants shitting. See, the doctor suggested Chris get diapers, but he screeched "but dose are for baybeeees!! :c"

Now that he can use menstrual pads instead, that's A-OK for a beautiful young flower like Christine.}}

<center><gallery>
File:Cwc Menstrual pads 1.jpeg
File:Cwc Menstrual pads 2.jpeg
</gallery></center>

In 2015's [[A little song and dance]], a box of pads is clearly visible behind Chris, while he "dances" in his bedroom.

In a [[Paid Video Requests#Singing "Yellow Submarine"|paid video]] from 2016, Chris knocked over the camera, revealing an upskirt shot of him wearing a pantiliner. He reacted angrily to comments about it<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#IT'S A PANTYLINER, NOT A DIAPER!]]</ref>:

{{quotebox|Ugh! Dumb People! What you saw in the Accidental crotch shot were my Panties, Pantyliner, and Pantyhose. No Diaper! What the hell is wrong with some people? }}

==IRC Transcript ==
21:13 <@[[Clyde Cash|clydeC]]> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
 21:13 <%[[Christian Weston Chandler|ChrisChanSonichu]]> That, sir is INCORRECT.
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[Tomgirl|YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[:Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|OH WAIT,]] [[Muscle bra|YOU HAVE!]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 21:13 <@[[BILLY_MAYS]]> ZING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
 21:14 <@clydeC> [[Tomgirl|IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL]]
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
 21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
 21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
 21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
 21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
 21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
 21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
 '''21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.'''
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> [[Ego#Surrendering Information|WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION]]
 21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
 21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
 21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS

==Sources==
<references />
* [[IRC (20 January 2009)|Complete transcript of the chat containing the revelation.]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms|Dirty Crapped Briefs]]

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

2017-07-24T04:30:05Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Ivy on CRAPPED BRIEFS */

{{Honest}}
{{quote|You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants.|[[Chris]], [[Don'tPintheOop]]}}

[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's gay evil twin shits himself and wets his pants.]]

'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is trollish shorthand used in reference to Chris's troubles with [[Wikipedia:Fecal_leakage|fecal leakage]]. Coined by Chris himself in an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from January 2009, it has quickly become a popular catchphrase.

In short, Chris unwittingly shits himself often. Even after encouragement from his doctor and from his mother, Chris would refuse to wear [[butt garments]] because, according to the [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|Ivy Q&A]], he felt they were for [[Sonee & Rosey|babies]]. He had only one or two episodes where he wore the butt garments; though they were only worn because Ivy told him it was his punishment for cheating on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. Based on his own comments on the subject and those of people who've managed to get close to him (particularly his now-deceased sweetheart [[Ivy]]), [[stress]] tends to inspire these episodes, but at other times he appears to be too lazy, careless, or distracted to bother making his way to a toilet.

==Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
Chris first alluded to difficulty controlling his bowels during a December 2008 [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]] with [[PandaHalo]], where he admitted that he sometimes mistook a bowel movement for gas and shat himself as a consequence. He said it did not happen often, and replied with an emphatic "NO" when Panda suggested that he wear adult diapers to deal with the problem.

Ground zero for the CRAPPED BRIEFS phenomenon was 20 January 2009, when Chris made a bizarre slip while arguing with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] on IRC. When prodded by the trolls concerning his alleged fondness for wearing women's underwear, Chris angrily retorted, "I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS." On further prodding from the trolls, he went on to reveal that most of the time he didn't even realize he'd crapped his briefs until well after the fact.

Later, during the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] episode, Chris shat himself in mid-conversation while sparring with [[BlueSpike]]. Shortly before "Max" forced Chris to shove his [[medallion]] up his ass, he asked if Chris had lost control. Chris first shouted "MAYBE!", and then gave up and admitted "...Yes."

[[Image:Dirtycrappedbriefgoboom.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's typical reaction when "something happens downstairs" in public.]]

On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] that he craps his pants when he's stressed and claimed that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.

On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a [[Mailbag]] correspondent who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it.<ref>[[Mailbag 7]]</ref> Given Chris's gloried history of [[Honest content|bad taste and indiscretion]], this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or, perhaps, he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.

Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john", Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes", as if he's embarrassed to mention them. Yet ironically, DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS are not a personal subject.

In an [[Jackie Chat 9|AIM chat conducted on 20 October 2010]], Chris revealed to [[Jackie]] that on many occasions where he turns what was once white into brown, it slips out painlessly and that he doesn't know until he sits down. In fact, he had shat himself at the exact point where she asked about the term "DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". He blamed it on "stress" that he had from earlier in the session, which involved recalling tales of high school bullying. He then stated that it had happened in previous chats between them and that they might have a "psychic link."

On [[Don'tPintheOop|30 October 2010]], Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he loses control, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall, and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes, everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to ''driving home'' with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the ever expanding list of reasons why not to accept a ride from Chris.

In a [[July 2011]] post on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he now only wears panties and refuses to wear briefs. <ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315]</ref> Ironically, Chris's desperation to prove he does not wear women's underwear is what led him to reveal his "problem" to the world. No word on whether or not Chris has had to deal with DIRTY, CRAPPED PANTIES yet, although evidence suggests he has.

==Ivy on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
[[File:Ship my bed.jpg|thumb|Normal behavior for Chris.]]
[[Ivy]]'s postmortem [[Ivy Q&A|account of her time with Chris]] sheds some more light on Chris's incontinence issues. Chris has had trouble controlling his bowels ever since he was a child, she says, but the problem became more acute after he finished school, especially whenever he got stressed out.

In the spring of 2009, the subject had become a source of serious contention between Chris and [[Barbara]]. At the time, Chris would considerately toss his dirty underwear, still fully loaded with excrement, in the family's communal laundry basket. Eventually they brought up the problem with their doctor, who advised Chris to make changes to his diet and exercise routine, and possibly wear protective garments.

Chris didn't think much of these suggestions, especially the notion that he should wear "diapers" — "[[My Little Pony|That's]] [[Lego|for]] [[Toys|babies]]!" was his comment. At first, Barbara tried to force the issue by refusing to do his laundry, in the hope that Chris would either wear the diapers or actually do the adult thing and start washing his own clothes. Of course, Chris did neither; a short while later he was called by a troll who pretended to be Clyde Cash and made a series of [[death threats]], making Chris genuinely afraid for his life and leading to him dropping a massive load in his sheets while asleep that night. After that, Barb relented and started washing Chris's laundry again.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> As of now, thankfully for us, we have yet to see the after-effects of the DIRTY, CRAPPED BED.

Additionally, given the filthy condition of the Chandler house, this is also a straight-up guarantee that Chris, Barbara, Bob (when he was alive), and nearly anyone who enters his house enters a dung cave of no escape: having to deal with Chris' shit leaves you coated in it, both metaphorically and literally. [http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/washing-machines-loaded-bacteria-dirty-clothes/story?id=10751420]

It's a particularly Chris-like sort of irony that he finds the suggestion of wearing diapers an insult to his maturity level, but sees no implications regarding that same maturity in the fact that he routinely shits his pants.

Considering that Chris's bowel issues have been around since childhood, it's most likely related to his [[autism]], as bowel issues have been known to occur among people with the disorder.

==Menstrual pads==
During the [[Tomgirl Saga]], the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] leaked images of Chris holding a box of feminine hygiene pads<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.661/page-526#post-1298729</ref> and explained the context:

{{quoteboxred|Heh, also, Chris got these to control his pants shitting. See, the doctor suggested Chris get diapers, but he screeched "but dose are for baybeeees!! :c"

Now that he can use menstrual pads instead, that's A-OK for a beautiful young flower like Christine.}}

<center><gallery>
File:Cwc Menstrual pads 1.jpeg
File:Cwc Menstrual pads 2.jpeg
</gallery></center>

In 2015's [[A little song and dance]], a box of pads is clearly visible behind Chris, while he "dances" in his bedroom.

In a [[Paid Video Requests#Singing "Yellow Submarine"|paid video]] from 2016, Chris knocked over the camera, revealing an upskirt shot of him wearing a pantiliner. He reacted angrily to comments about it<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#IT'S A PANTYLINER, NOT A DIAPER!]]</ref>:

{{quotebox|Ugh! Dumb People! What you saw in the Accidental crotch shot were my Panties, Pantyliner, and Pantyhose. No Diaper! What the hell is wrong with some people? }}

==IRC Transcript ==
21:13 <@[[Clyde Cash|clydeC]]> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
 21:13 <%[[Christian Weston Chandler|ChrisChanSonichu]]> That, sir is INCORRECT.
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[Tomgirl|YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[:Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|OH WAIT,]] [[Muscle bra|YOU HAVE!]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 21:13 <@[[BILLY_MAYS]]> ZING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
 21:14 <@clydeC> [[Tomgirl|IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL]]
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
 21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
 21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
 21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
 21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
 21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
 21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
 '''21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.'''
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> [[Ego#Surrendering Information|WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION]]
 21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
 21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
 21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS

==Sources==
<references />
* [[IRC (20 January 2009)|Complete transcript of the chat containing the revelation.]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms|Dirty Crapped Briefs]]

File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg

2017-07-24T04:26:03Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank:

Art by Damn Slanderous Troll from /cwc/ thread.

Also, notice the [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|brown stains]].

28 October 2011

2017-07-22T05:15:30Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing */

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{clear}}
[[File:GuiltyInnocense.jpg|thumb|[[TRUE and HONEST]] artist's depiction.]]

On '''28 October 2011''', a date which will live in infamy, [[The GAMe PLACe]] was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of the City of [[CWCville]]. On that fateful Friday evening, at around 5:20 p.m.,<ref>Based on metadata from Chris's photos.</ref> [[Chris]] and [[Barbara]] visited the GAMe PLACe, where Chris had been banned since [[2008]]. Chris took a photo of the store and then two of owner [[Michael Snyder]] in the parking lot. All hell broke loose when Chris and Barbara allegedly each hit Michael once with their car. When the [[Jerkop]]s arrived, Barb assaulted one during their arrests.

Chris and Barb were each charged with felonies, and Chris was also charged with additional misdemeanors, which meant they both were facing possible prison time.<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM</ref> They were bonded out on 29 October,<ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=323013&searchType=offender</ref><ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=125674&searchType=offender</ref> with Chris's initial hearing taking place one week after Barb's.

The Chandlers were represented in court by [[Rob Bell]], a Republican member of the [[Virginia]] House of Delegates. On 10 July 2012, a plea bargain was reached. All of their charges were reduced to misdemeanors. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and psychology|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They also had to pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.

== The charges ==
Below are the charges brought against both Barbara and Chris, along with details and court dates based on the details from the [http://epwsgdp1.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/captchaVerification.do?landing=landing General District Court Online Case Information System] & [http://wasdmz2.courts.state.va.us/CJISWeb/circuit.html Charlottesville City Circuit Online Case Information].

===Barbara's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-894</ref>)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, from [[This is how the Trial went|hitting Snyder with the vehicle.]]
**Amended to Misdemeanor.
* '''ASSLT: ON LAW ENF/DOC PERSON''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-57</ref>)
** Class 6 Felony charge - Assaulting a law enforcement official. This occurred when Barb attempted to prevent the police from arresting Chris.
**Amended to Misdemeanor.

==== Court dates ====
* 31 October 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. Both felonies go to a grand jury at Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on both felony charges.
* 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment.

===Chris's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a" />)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, from [[This is how the Trial went|hitting Snyder with the vehicle.]]
**Amended to Misdemeanor.
* '''ASSAULT: (MISDEMEANOR)''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b" />)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Attempted or actual assault against another person, probably [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]].
* '''TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN''' (§ 18.2-119. Trespass after having been forbidden to do so; penalties.<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-119</ref>)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Trespassing on land or within an area from which the offender is forbidden, no doubt due to setting foot in The GAMe PLACe.

==== Court dates ====
* 7 November 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance (postponement) for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. [[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|Nolle prosequi]] on the trespass and assault; the failure to stop goes to Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on the felony charge.
* 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment.

== Civil suit ==
Michael Snyder also filled a civil suit against both Chris and Barb on 1 November 2011, 4 days after the incident. Barb attended a second hearing on 14 November, a third took place on 15 December, at the same time as her criminal case hearing, and a fourth occurred on 5 January at 1:00 PM.

Chris' case at one point read 'Other Judgement', however, it appears to have been open again. Presumably, Chris appeared again in court on 5 January 2012 at 2:15 PM, shortly after his criminal hearing.

Before the court hearing, Michael Snyder requested and received a Preliminary Protective Order against both Chris and Barbara. This order is similar to a restraining order, and prohibits Chris or Barb from contacting Michael or engaging in any threatening behavior towards him before the hearing. The order lasts for 15 days.<ref>http://www.dcjs.virginia.gov/victims/documents/podomesticviolence.pdf</ref>

On 5 April, Snyder was awarded full Protection Orders against both Chris and Barbara. A Protection Order can last up to two years and violation of the Protection Order can result in both civil and criminal charges.

No further information on the civil suit has emerged since then, and with the Chandlers having been ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills as part of their plea bargain, it seems likely that the suit will not proceed any further.

== Chris retaliates ==

On 4 November, soon after being bailed out of jail, Chris uploaded the pictures he took of Michael Snyder on the 28th to the [[CWCki]], plastering them on the front page and the page on Michael.<ref>[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler]]</ref> In the image descriptions, Chris [[Chris and hypocrisy|taunted Snyder for his]] [[obesity]] and claimed that he [[Pedofork|molests children]].

In the February [[Facebook]] leaks, Chris stated 'After October 28, 2011; I now have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the so-called "Officers of the Badge"' as opposed only to those in colors other than blue and black. He also produced 50 copies of a flyer calling the GAMe PLACe a "Cyber bullies' hang-out" and encouraging people to stay far away which he then left around his usual attraction locations. This led to another run in with [[Jerkops]]; Chris escaped by "hiding and weaving around the parked cars" and by driving a Mistubishi as opposed to [[Son-Chu]].

== Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing ==

The arraignments took place on 10 July. Two CWCki Forum members named Cyan and Indigo went to the courthouse and afterwards [[This is how the Trial went|recounted the proceedings]].

A plea bargain was settled upon because Michael did not want Chris and Barb to be stuck with felony charges. Upon sentencing, all five charges shared between Chris and Barb were reduced to misdemeanors. Rob Bell said that despite this, Chris and Barb maintain their version of the events as accurate. Before Chris's turn to speak, Bell referred to him as "high-functioning autistic" and then as an "adult autistic child", much to the chagrin of Chris. When the judge asked Chris if he understood that he had to pay Michael's medical expenses, Chris, in a stunning display of [[ego]]tism even by his standards, replied something along the lines of, "Yes, but I don't think that thieving/bribing liar deserves a red cent!" He then begrudgingly pleaded guilty.

Barbara was sentenced to community service, two years of probation and was ordered to pay $474 in court costs; Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation, plus jail time unless he complies<ref>http://pastebin.com/jD4zAfX3</ref>, and he was ordered to pay $247 in court costs.

The next day, Chris wrote a note on [[Facebook#You WILL be brought in!|Facebook]] confirming Cyan and Indigo's report. Chris claimed that Rob Bell confronted the two "trolls" and that the trolls will get arrested.

==Email?==
Someone purporting to be in contact with Chris leaked an email, supposedly from Chris himself, shedding some light on the events of October 28. While the validity of the email is disputed, [[Surfshack Tito]] confirmed on [[/cwc/]] that the events of October 28 are basically the same as that described in the email.

{{quotebox|1=
I tell about us two landing in jail. During a usual, yettiring, shopping outting with [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]], we had just stopped at the [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|Salvation Army]] story on Cherry Ave and left with a few purchases. She impulsively asked
to go to the SPCA Rummage Sale, and I ended up taking 4 St. NW to stop by the [[McDonalds]] there for a cup of tea to go, when at the PLACe, now known as "C-Ville Game & Hobby" (status unchanged on the PLACe website), mom and I read the sign on the window that led me to an occurrence I was waiting for, the PLACe under New Ownership (with [[Destruction Of Chris's House|burning it down]] [[Death threats|being the alternative]]).

So, I continue ahead for the tea, and mom asked for a smoothie. On an impulse of the newfound piece of freedom, I drove back to the PLACe, upon closer inspection, I read the "New Owner" sign further, stating, "Under New Ownership of Mike & Madeline"; I had thought, [[Honor roll|perhaps it was another Mike]]. Mom insisted on coming in with me, so we did, and a few steps in, who did our eyes see in the new center counter, past employee Nathan, and Michael Snyder.

I hid behind my mother for a moment, and Mike pointed us out the door, but before leaving, I whipped out my [[3DS]], activated its camera and took his photo, then I shouted, "For [[the Internet]]". Mom and I made our way to the van and entered it; Mike followed us out, and Stood right in front of the van, thinking he was [[Wikipedia:Stonewall_Jackson#First_Bull_Run|Stonewall Jackson]]. We backed up the van some; Mike chased us. Mom took the wheel; [[Chris and reality|Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls.]]

And more shit happened. Mom called [[Jerkop|911]] on my phone first (followed shortly after by Mike being handed a phone by someone else for him to make his call. Eventually, mother backed us out onto 4 St. NW, northward, and we escaped. But at the traffic light, we were caught up by a [[Decepti-Clones|cop car]]. Parked at the nearby courthouse, two of the cop cars, and us in the van, exchanged the tales of the event and our driver licenses. Eventually, I was asked to step out of the van; I was about to be handcuffed, but I would not have another handcuffing, so I fought, I was pinned, and I was handcuffed.

My NEW pair of [[Chris and money|$324]] Rx lens [[glasses]] were broken by THEM in the fight. My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her [[Obesity|Blood Pressure]] was high. I was driven to, entered and thrown into a cell block. At first for a while, I was as melodramatic and sane as [[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]], then I started going crazy, I shouted television talk and songs at random; [[Muscle bra|took off my shirt]] due to the heat; pretended to be a [[Wikipedia:Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair|genie with light brown hair]] for a while, and made an acquaintance with the stainless steel sink with a hex-shaped bowl.

I prayed a LOT to [[Jesus]] for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother Eventually, my mother arrived, tried to post bail, but there were errors. [[Rocky]] was called to help us, BLESS her and her husband soo much. Then my mother was jumpsuited and jailed; I was too shortly before. And I was moved to two other cells. Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her. Eventually in cell 3, I dozed off and slept for a few hours. I did not eat their food; I had Never eaten Prison Food, and I was NOT going to start then. About 3 PM on the 29th, mom and I were released, and Rocky and her husband drove us back to our van.

Now mom and I each have our own courthouse dates. I'm sure mom will be only fined, but I have the worse of cases. Mom and I, we are certain I will be found not guilty; it was a case of a Deliberate Deception, with the "New Ownership" sign from Michael, and my falling for his trap. I later printed out the facts of Mike from the [[Cwcki]] that night, and I found the "CWC Michael Snyder Interview" video on [[YouTube]], where the clown-faced troll called Mike; Michael Snyder CONFESSES to Wanting to lure me in and land me in jail with a "[[Pokemon]] Tournament on the 22nd".

I have streamed from my [[PS3]] to my Laptop to get an MP4 of the video, and to burn the video onto a DVD-R. [[Chris and reality|With this great amount of evidence, we will find Michael Guilty of being a Troll/Cyber Bully among those who have been pestering, deceiving, tricking, blackmailing, etc, me for about 4 years now.]]

That's the story I share with you, REDACTED, in Strictest Confidence; DO NOT TELL ANYONE, PLEASE. [[Homos|Do not ask; Do not tell]]; Barbara and I are working diligently to deal with this. Currently, her court date is set on 12/15; mine is yet to be determined on 11/7, but it'll probably be on the same day as my mother's.

We have also been blessed with connections from Rocky at my church to have Robert B. Bell, Delegate, Republican, Methodist Esquire to represent Barbara and me in both of our cases. It may help to have you come in for support on my trial, and as a character witness. I will send you an update later on.

Stay Safe, REDACTED,

Christian W. Chandler<ref>http://pastebin.com/Tm9EMppU</ref>
}}

== Chris's photos ==
<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|Chris's photo of The GAMe PLACe; note that everyone is looking at the camera
File:HNI 0021.JPG|Chris's first photograph of Michael Snyder
File:HNI 0022.JPG|Snyder, channeling Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson
</gallery>

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb1.png|Barb's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb2.png|Barb's felony assault on a police officer charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris1.png|Chris's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris2.png|Chris's misdemeanor assault charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris3.png|Chris's trespass misdemeanor charge
File:Chriscivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Chris
File:Barbcivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Barbara
File:PO-BARB.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Barb.
File:PO-CHRIS.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Chris.
File:ChrisCourtCase.JPG|The judgement against Chris on the FAIL TO STOP charge.
File:Chris ASSAULT- (MISDEMEANOR) .png|The judgement against Chris on the ASSAULT charge.
File:Chris TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN.png|The judgement against Chris on the TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN charge.
File:Barb fail stop.png|The judgement against Barb on the FAIL TO STOP charge.
File:Barb ASSLT- ON LAW ENF-DOC PERSON .png|The judgement against Barb on the ASSAULT ON LAW ENFORCEMENT charge.

</gallery>

==Fan art ==
<center><gallery>
File:Chris mug.jpg|Artist's depiction of Chris's mugshot.
File:Chris joker.jpg| Why so serious?
File:TheJoker.png|Oh dear...
File:Chris court sketch.png| An artist provides a theoretical court sketch.
File:RAPSHT-P1.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 1/2)
File:RAPSHT-P2.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 2/2)
</gallery></center>

==References==
<references />

== See also ==
*[[This is how the Trial went]], reports from the courthouse
*[[6 June 2010]], a previous altercation with Michael Snyder
*[[26 December 2014]], a later incident that got Chris arrested
*[[Chris and the Law]]

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Lovin' You

2017-07-18T01:51:01Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Lyrics */

'''"Lovin' You"''' is the sixth track from the second album of [[Chris]]'s cruddy [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|musical project]], ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]''. This song was also played on the video [[Chris Sings Lovin' You]].

In this song, Chris attempts to do an [[Adam Stackhouse|a capella]] cover of "[[Wikipedia:Lovin'_You|Lovin' You]]" by [[Wikipedia:Minnie Riperton|Minnie Riperton]]. However, due to a lack of practice, sheer laziness...or both, Chris gets the tune ''completely'' wrong. Some have even likened his attempt to sing the head voice parts as sounding "like [[Patti|a dying animal]]," which is far from off the mark.

==The song==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Lovin' You"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qM73Kke-NMk}}
| stardate = [[April 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Ivy|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style =
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[I'll Never Leave You, Ivy]]
| next = [[Paradise By The Seashore Light (Crass and Champ's Thang Undersea)]]
}}

===Lyrics===
Loving you...is easy...'cuz you're beautiful 
Makin' lovin' you is all I want to do 
Lovin' you...is more'n just a dream come true 
And everything I do...is out of lovin' you

La la la la la...doot doo-doo da-doo 
No one else...can make me feel...

The colors that you bring 
Stay with me...while we grow old

Eh, we will live each day in the springtime 
'Cuz lovin' you has made my life so beautiful 
And every day my life is filled with lovin' you 
Lovin' yoooouuu, I see your soul come shinin' through 
Every tiiime, that weee'''ooooo''' [''This note suddenly drops down as if Chris [[Chris and health|had a stroke]]'']...I'm more in love with you

Laaaaaa-aaaa-aaaa, laaaa 
Doo-doo da-doo-doo 
Love you Ivy 
Iiiiiiiii...looooove...yooouuuu 
Love you [[Ivy|Ivyyyyy]]

''I loooove yooooou.'' Mwah!

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Even Auto-Tune Can't Save Chris-Chan's Voice...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|nPb4wBlxCKY}}
| stardate = 4 [[May 2010]]
| maker = Mr. I Don't Even
| type = Auto-Tuned Clip
}}

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]
[[Category:Music]]

Cwcsicle

2017-07-12T06:03:00Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank:

{{Honest}}
[[Image:CWCSICLE.jpg|thumb|Chris' previous experience with freezing his johnson.]]

'''Cwcsicle''' is a name of a video log entailing [[Chris]] sticking his [[duck]] in the snow for 15 minutes. It was made as part of the ''[[Wikipedia:Jackass 3D|Jackass 3D]]'' Prank Contest, in which the person who submitted the best prank would get to appear in ''Jackass 3D''. Needless to say, Chris did not win, as he violated both the rules and common sense; most ''Jackass''-style pranks are quite dangerous, so sending video footage (as opposed to plans or sketches) wasn't allowed.<ref>http://jackass-3d-contest.wonderhowto.com/blog/jackass-3d-prank-contest-0118504/</ref>

Chris also claims that it is impossible to change the onboard clock on one's cellphone; this is obviously untrue, but Chris may have automatic update of date and time on his [[Wikipedia:Motorola W315|Motorola W315]] and be too dim to know that it can be turned off. He may have feigned ignorance about this, in order to lie about the duration for which he performed this act of complete idiocy.

It is split into five parts: 100_2123 through 7.MOV. These titles seem to suggest that it was made in [[February 2010]]. Prior to the selling of the [[Autographed Photos]], it was the most recently-released work to feature the [[medallion]].

==Videos==

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWCsicle
| video = {{#ev:youtube|PjRRL4i6QZA}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{SafetyParka|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}, {{Live|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==Transcripts==
===100_2123.MOV (0:25)===
''[Christian stands in his snow-covered backyard. He is dressed quite heavily, pointing the camera at himself [[Chris and cinematography|with a rather shaky hand]].]'' Hi, I'm Christian Chandler, uh, this is "[[Random-access humor|Frozen Stalactite]]". [''attempts to tilt camera towards crotch, thankfully missing it entirely.''] I'm gonna put my dick in the snow [''aims it back at his face''] and I'm gonna leave it in there for about 15 minutes. Currently it's 12:38 [''holds up his phone with his free hand''] according to my cellphone clock. If there's one clock you can not change, it's the one on your cellphone. [''pans camera down, revealing that he's buried himself waist-deep, then pans back up''] Okay, see ya'll in 15 minutes.

===100_2124.MOV (0:07)===
[''holding up phone''] Yeah, about 6 minutes in now. Whooh. Boy, it's cold. I've had p--[''video abruptly ends'']

===100_2125.MOV (0:10)===
[''carrying on from where the former left off, albeit with a little more urgency''] About 6 minutes in now. I've had previous experiences with, uh, freezing my dick, and I've even stretched it a bit. Right. I'll be checking back in se-in 7.

===100_2126.MOV (0:22)===
A-alrighty, it's 12:53 [''nearly beans himself in the face with his PSEye lens''] Let's pull me out. ENYGH! [''gets up and nearly loses balance. The camera goes out of focus, although Chris can be heard shivering. It then turns to focus on his crotch, with his pickle thankfully quite out of view. The sound of something scraping the mic can be heard as he examines his genitals.''] Feels blue. [''we go out of focus as we see Chris's duck. Not only is it within view, it has turned bright red and the camera is upside down. Shortly after, the camera turns away.''] Look at all that snow all over me. There's the hole it was in. [''we finally turn to Chris's face''] Heh. Kids, that is definitely something--[''video abruptly ends.'']

===100_2127.MOV (0:06)===
Everybody, I dare say that is one stunt you should not try at home. Peace out. [''We turn away and the camera is set down.'']

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[https://archive.org/details/cwcsicle Uncensored version]

{{LeakedVideos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, February 2010]]
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category:Certain videos of the naughty nature]]

Cwcsicle

2017-07-12T06:01:34Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank:

{{Honest}}
[[Image:CWCSICLE.jpg|thumb|Chris' previous experience with freezing his johnson.]]

'''Cwcsicle''' is a name of a video log entailing [[Chris]] sticking his [[duck]] in the snow for 15 minutes. It was made as part of the ''[[Wikipedia:Jackass 3D|Jackass 3D]]'' Prank Contest, in which the person who submitted the best prank would get to appear in ''Jackass 3D''. Needless to say, Chris did not win, as he violated both the rules and common sense; most ''Jackass''-style pranks are quite dangerous, so sending video footage (as opposed to plans or sketches) wasn't allowed.<ref>http://jackass-3d-contest.wonderhowto.com/blog/jackass-3d-prank-contest-0118504/</ref>

Chris also claims that it is impossible to change the onboard clock on one's cellphone; this is obviously untrue, but Chris may have automatic update of date and time on his [[Wikipedia:Motorola W315|Motorola W315]] and be too dim to know that it can be turned off. He may have feigned ignorance about this, in order to lie about the duration for which he performed this act of complete idiocy.

It is split into five parts: 100_2123 through 7.MOV. These titles seem to suggest that it was made in [[February 2010]]. Prior to the selling of the [[Autographed Photos]], it was the most recently-released work to feature the [[medallion]].

==Videos==

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWCsicle
| video = {{#ev:youtube|PjRRL4i6QZA}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Television}}
| style = {{Comedy}}, {{Crazy}}
| shirt = {{SafetyParka|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}, {{Live|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==Transcripts==
===100_2123.MOV (0:25)===
''[Christian stands in his snow-covered backyard. He is dressed quite heavily, pointing the camera at himself [[Chris and cinematography|with a rather shaky hand]].]'' Hi, I'm Christian Chandler, uh, this is "[[Random-access humor|Frozen Stalactite]]". [''attempts to tilt camera towards crotch, thankfully missing it entirely.''] I'm gonna put my dick in the snow [''aims it back at his face''] and I'm gonna leave it in there for about 15 minutes. Currently it's 12:38 [''holds up his phone with his free hand''] according to my cellphone clock. If there's one clock you can not change, it's the one on your cellphone. [''pans camera down, revealing that he's buried himself waist-deep, then pans back up''] Okay, see ya'll in 15 minutes.

===100_2124.MOV (0:07)===
[''holding up phone''] Yeah, about 6 minutes in now. Whooh. Boy, it's cold. I've had p--[''video abruptly ends'']

===100_2125.MOV (0:10)===
[''carrying on from where the former left off, albeit with a little more urgency''] About 6 minutes in now. I've had previous experiences with, uh, freezing my dick, and I've even stretched it a bit. Right. I'll be checking back in se-in 7.

===100_2126.MOV (0:22)===
A-alrighty, it's 12:53 [''nearly beans himself in the face with his PSEye lens''] Let's pull me out. ENYGH! [''gets up and nearly loses balance. The camera goes out of focus, although Chris can be heard shivering. It then turns to focus on his crotch, with his pickle thankfully quite out of view. The sound of something scraping the mic can be heard as he examines his genitals.''] Feels blue. [''we go out of focus as we see Chris's duck. Not only is it within view, it has turned bright red and the camera is upside down. Shortly after, the camera turns away.''] Look at all that snow all over me. There's the hole it was in. [''we finally turn to Chris's face''] Heh. Kids, that is definitely something--[''video abruptly ends.'']

===100_2127.MOV (0:06)===
Everybody, I dare say that is one stunt you should not try at home. Peace out. [''We turn away and the camera is set down.'']

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[https://archive.org/details/cwcsicle Uncensored version]

{{LeakedVideos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, February 2010]]
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category:Certain videos of the naughty nature]]

Julie Reveals Herself

2017-07-11T07:15:05Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank:

{{Honest}}
'''Julie Reveals Herself''' is a [[Mumble]] chat that occurred on 3 [[March 2009]], and is easily one of the most infamous events of [[trolling]] in the [[CWC]]hronology. In this chat, [[Chris]] is basically locked up in an hour-long torture session with [[BlueSpike]], who poses as [[Julie]]'s fake brother, [[Max]]. After being deceived by him [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel|earlier in the day]], Chris crosses paths with him one last time later that night. Max continued his onslaught on the manchild; he threatened to sell Chris's [[PlayStation Network]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4chan]] as well as [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. He also threatened to send [[Julie]] back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the [[Cakefarts|cake]] was when Max made Chris cut up his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After all was said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him...

==Summary==
* It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, even they were disgusted and horrified at how far BlueSpike took it. Because of this, the following day, an explosive troll war took place on ED because of BlueSpike's actions. (See BlueSpike's article for more information.)
* BlueSpike, posing as Max, tauntingly greets a grumpy Chris. He asks Chris why he's "down in the dumps", which he explains it's because "Max" is holding his hacked PSN and Yahoo! accounts ransom, saying that he can either choose between having his account back or being with Julie.
* Blue repeatedly insults and taunts Chris multiple times, threatening to sell his PSN on eBay, give all the proceeds to 4chan and ED, and overall purposely making him angry.
* After making him dance for his amusement, Blue tells Chris to put on his [[medallion]]. He says he will give him his PSN if he burns and [[Mass debating|jizzes]] on the medallion, but can't have Julie at the same time; he tells Chris if he doesn't comply, he will send Julie back to Europe. Chris hesitates, not only because he doesn't have anything to light up the medallion, but because he doesn't know what "jizz" means.
* Thus, Blue makes Chris say "Billy Mays is the new mayor of CWCville, and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers." Chris hesitantly and lethargicly repeated the line as ordered, but instead said "[[niggos]]" in place of the N word, as his creativity was under vein and he didn't want to say it (instead of doing some else, as listed on the "niggos" page). Blue has him say the word anyway, and he gets the "hang" of it before Blue cusses him out for it.
* Blue orders him again to jizz on the medallion, explaining to him it requires [[mass debating]]. Chris says he can't get a hard-on while under [[stress]], so Blue orders him to burn the medallion, and in a rather sociopathic way screams he wants to see Chris actually get hurt. Chris goes quiet for a good while. Blue then says he can either choose to burn the medallion, or cut it up into pieces and shove it up his ass. Chris, seeing there's no way out, takes the latter choice.
* While Chris is busy preparing to cut the pieces to put into his ass, Blue taunts him by saying he's bringing over a black friend of his to come watch Chris, requesting him to record and take pictures of himself. Much to Blue's delight, Chris actually goes through with the requests, and is so stressed his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal leakage]] kicks in. The other trolls on Mumble are so disgusted with what Blue is doing that they repeatedly tell him to stop. Ignoring them at first while continuing to mock Chris, Blue eventually tells Chris he can stop trying to put the pieces in his ass. He attempts to leave to wash his fecal-covered hands, but Blue tells him to stay put.
* Blue seemingly runs out of ideas on the next thing to make Chris do. He tries to continue tormenting him, but this bothers the other trolls. Instead, he decides to have Chris log onto the Mumble so he can speak with "Julie", as at this point he had been speaking to Blue on a different software. Chris spends over 10 literal minutes trying to get a microphone working and logging onto Mumble, but eventually succeeds.
* Chris finally gets to talk to Julie. She reveals to him she is nothing more than Max/BlueSpike in disguise, telling him all this time Chris had been engaging in cybersex with a 13-year-old boy, who had been talking nearly in his normal voice while pretending to be a girl. This doesn't quite get the reaction Blue expected from Chris; while Chris was certainly disappointed, trying to say he didn't know Max was 13 while cybering with Julie, he was more so apathetic to what happened, seeing as this isn't the first (and was ''far'' from the last) time Chris was tricked into being in a relationship with a fake woman.
* Blue tells Chris to send him the video footage of him shoving the medallion up his ass. Chris reveals he lied and didn't videotape anything when that happened, refusing to do it all over again. In response, Blue gets Clyde to come out and talk to Chris. Clyde, annoyed himself over the whole ordeal, simply decides to tell Chris in a straightforward manner that there are no actual fans of ''Sonichu'', that there is far more to life than his [[PS3]], and that he needs to spend more time outdoors socializing than sitting on his ass all day indoors. Chris doesn't take his advice, and leaves the call totally defeated.
* Blue and the others reflect on what they did to Chris. After a while of them chattering over each other, a female troll asks if she can stop recording the Mumble, and after they give her the green light, does so.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Julie Reveals Herself
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Aq9Lepe1xjs}}
| Stardate = 3 [[March 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]], [[BlueSpike]], [[Clyde]]
| Saga = {{Julie|text}}
}} </center>

==Transcript==
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===
'''Max:''' [''tape begins with very low quality''] Ready? [''The sound of the trolls voices can be heard, but very faintly. The audio then becomes more audible as Max begins his onslaught on Chris.''] Christian Chandler, hello!
 '''Chris:''' Hello.
 '''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?
 '''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.
 '''Max:''' WHY? Tell me!
 '''Chris:''' Because you stole my PSN, you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.
 '''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.
 '''Chris:''' --icked Julie.
 '''Max:''' Chris...
 '''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.
 '''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.
 '''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba--what you say?
 '''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.
 '''Chris:''' I want Julie.
 '''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]!
 '''Chris:''' [''makes constipated grunts'']
 '''Max:''' [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump...oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragon Ball Z|Super Saiyan]]! You're not mad, you pathetic ''wimp.''
 '''Chris:''' [''another angry constipated sound'']
 '''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you [[A message to the Trolls|smack the webcam around some]]? You're a bitch! You're not going to get my sister that way.
 '''Chris:''' [''[[sigh]]''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get--you want me to get angry, I got angry.
 '''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a--you're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no.
 '''Max:''' No. It's going on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!
 '''Max:''' Yes! eBay!
 '''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.
 '''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay...eBay...
 '''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.
 '''Max:''' Why should I stop?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']
 '''Max:''' Why should I stop?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.
 '''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?
 '''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']
 '''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm not--no, no, no. No.
 '''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' Say "[[Christian's Update 13 September 2008|buh bye bay nose]]".
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?
 '''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[homo]]."
 '''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.
 '''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...
 '''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!
 '''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Either--then say it louder.
 '''Chris:''' [''screams''] {{RageQuote|I!!! AM A HOMO!!!}}
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.
 '''Chris:''' No! No, no!
 '''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.
 '''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!
 '''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.
 '''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRAAGHHH {{RageQuote|YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!!!}}
 '''Max:''' [''breathing during fits of laughter''] Aw, and you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']
 '''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild--are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna--you're, you're just--uou just really are dumb. It--it's going on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' NO! No! No!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.
 '''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.
 '''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You stop.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' Stop.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' Stop!
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' {{RageQuote|STOOOOOP!!!}}
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?
 '''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—
 '''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry...and I'm putting it on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.
 '''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your fangs?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.
 '''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. [''thunks twice''] eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.
 '''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!
 '''Max:''' Start auction...
 '''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?
 '''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the pi--uh...
 '''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme--gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it--]]
 '''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN 'cause you picked Julie.
 '''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—
 '''Max:''' Start auction...
 '''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.
 '''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! Thousand dollar worth PSN.
 '''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!
 '''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.
 '''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.
 '''Max:''' Starting bid...a hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.
 '''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!
 '''Max:''' I can have it?
 '''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!
 '''Max:''' Okay!
 '''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just...[''clap''] just LEAVE IT OFF OF EBAY, PLEASE!
 '''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.
 '''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.
 '''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—
 '''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!
 '''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?
 '''Max:''' What? I think it's like an 80-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...
 '''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than 80 gigabytes, [[Adult Swim#King of the Hill|I'll tell you what]].
 '''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?
 '''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Let's see...I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.
 '''Chris:''' No. No. No.
 '''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']
 '''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You--you--you keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—
 '''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.
 '''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.
 '''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!
 '''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?
 '''Chris:''' [''screaming'']
 '''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to 4-cent-garbage! And Encyclopedia Dramatica. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that, they're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.
 '''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.
 '''Max:''' Donation: 1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!
 '''Chris:''' [''getting louder and whinier''] No, just stop, just stooooop!
 '''Max:''' How--yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell--why don't you wake the dead with your howling...come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.
 '''Chris:''' [''yells''] {{RageQuote|AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!}}
 '''Max:''' You--you yell like a pussy.
 '''Chris:''' [''yells''] {{RageQuote|AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!}}
 '''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.
 '''Chris:''' [''yells''] {{RageQuote|AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!}}
 '''Max:''' Uh oh, I won't like you when you're mad! Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.
 '''Chris:''' Alright...
 '''Max:''' Suck my dick.
 '''Chris:''' How can I do you--how can I do yours when you're all the way over there?
 '''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS dick. I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].
 '''Chris:''' Aaaaah...please, don't be--don't be such a meanie.
 '''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"?! Fuck YOU! Suck your manager's dick.
 '''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.
 '''Max:''' Listen to what?
 '''Chris:''' Max--Max, you are a great being. You are--you're a humble person. Please, I'm only a lowly--I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.
 '''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha...uh...what...uh...
 '''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.
 '''Max:''' Sh...sh...SHUT UP! You can have--you can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.
 '''Chris:''' But listen, I—
 '''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself--I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!
 '''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you--stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].
 '''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] What the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you
[[So Need a Cute Girl#Live performance|grabbed your crotch]], that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No!
 '''Max:''' Yes!
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, $1,000-worth PSN account hacked...I'm going to start the bid at $500.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.
 '''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?
 '''Max:''' It's gone.
 '''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—
 '''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|the cat crap you slip on]]. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===
'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' No...
 '''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries...NO!!! NO, NO!!! DON'T!!! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedofffork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...
 '''Chris:''' Nothing was actu--
 '''Max:''' Don't...
 '''Chris:''' Nothing was actually exposed.
 '''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just--just don't.
 '''Chris:''' Fine.
 '''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.
 '''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh--selling--selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.
 '''Max:''' Well, it's going on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.
 '''Max:''' It's going on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' You cross that line...
 '''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woohoo!
 '''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.
 '''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up--
 '''Max:''' No. It's--it's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you...oh! That's the [[Fapcup|cup]] from [[Target]], isn't it?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' What is it then?
 '''Chris:''' It's the--it's a [[McDonald's]] TEA cup!
 '''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some [[Manboobs|man-tits]] going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for $1.
 '''Chris:''' Wait. What?
 '''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.

===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===
'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' I actually...I'm not gonna send Julie over there anyway. I'm not gonna help her to see you.
 '''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y--we had an agreement. I picked Julie!
 '''Max:''' Really?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.
 '''Chris:''' No! You--you help her over here...
 '''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.
 '''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...
 '''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm--I'm begging, I'm begging you--I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please--
 '''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' How about, Chris--
 '''Chris:''' I throw myself--I throw myself on your mercy, please.
 '''Max:''' I can't even see you.
 '''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.
 '''Max:''' Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man!
 '''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling and rustling sounds'']
 '''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like...Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?
 '''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].

===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===
'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your medallion?
 '''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.
 '''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or--no, no, no. I'm not going to give you that...uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.
 '''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—
 '''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.
 '''Chris:''' I might--
 '''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.
 '''Chris:''' What about Julie?
 '''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.
 '''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.
 '''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...
 '''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want--I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' Jizz?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that Billy Mays is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?
 '''Max:''' Oh, "what does 'jizz' mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly--really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. [''claps twice''] Can you do this? Say that Billy Mays is the Mayor of CWCville.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.
 '''Chris:''' [''confused''] Billy Mays?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, Billy Mays. Say it.
 '''Chris:''' Who the hell is he?
 '''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN! [''long pause''] Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can. [''more silence''] Come on, [[autism]] metal block!! What--what the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.
 '''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.
 '''Chris:''' Go ahead.
 '''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===
'''Max:''' Chris, do what I want, or I'm not going to send Julie over there. How about that?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' That's a good boy.
 '''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.
 '''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "Billy Mays is the new Mayor of CWCville!" [''pause''] Come on. Do it!
 '''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] Billy Mays is the new Mayor of CWCville.
 '''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy!
 '''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] Billy Mays is the new Mayor of CWCville.
 '''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.
 '''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS THE NEW MAYER OF CWCVILLE!
 '''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail!" CWCville Jail.
 '''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.
 '''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.
 '''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of [[niggos]].
 '''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.
 '''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]
 '''Max:''' Louder.
 '''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.
 '''Chris:''' Don't...[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|don't trust them new niggers over there]].
 '''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it...no, no, no, no, no. Mass debate on it first, then burn it.
 '''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...
 '''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!
 '''Max:''' Well, I know--I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.
 '''Chris:''' No!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!
 '''Chris:''' Just the opposite!
 '''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh--yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.
 '''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.
 '''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.
 '''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT, THU--THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!
 '''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']
 '''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.
 '''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT--{{RageQuote|YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!}}
 '''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your--you're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt, ah, ah, [[wikipedia:What What (In the Butt)|what, what, in the butt]]?!

===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===
'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.
 '''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.
 '''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] [[A-Logging|I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!!]] Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating autistics, it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next 5 seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. [''silence''] 5...4...3...2...1. Alright there, I guess...hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me. [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no! [''normal voice''] Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic! Before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [''silence''] [[Jerk]]. I mean, you ''are'' a jerk.
 '''Chris:''' [''rustling'']

===Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20)===
'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have 5 seconds before I fucking send my, uh--you have 5 seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe. 5...4...321--OH! Too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me, Chris, I have to tell you one thing first. You have an alternative. [''Chris is rustling''] Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Now, you have an alternative: either burn it ''or'' shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?
 '''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.
 '''Max:''' You're gonna...you're going to shove it up your butt?
 '''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative...that's just about as good as one or the other.
 '''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.
 '''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.
 '''Chris:''' You're going to see this.
 '''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the--what are you going to show me? No, no, no, no. If you burn it, I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it, I'll send Julie back to Europe...don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't do it.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.
 '''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your--
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt...But I have to divide it.
 '''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!
 '''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, and don't— And don't take it out, just shove it up until...do it in a video.
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']
 '''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!
 '''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']
 '''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing'']
 '''Max:''' Actually, Chris--Chris, no, no, no. I decided--yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky. You have to cut it up first. So yeah, you can pull your pants right up.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh—
 '''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.
 '''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...
 '''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.
 '''Chris:''' Terrible.
 '''Max:''' How does it feel?
 '''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.
 '''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."
 '''Chris:''' Heartless.
 '''Max:''' Oh, ''me''? ''I'm'' heartless?
 '''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.
 '''Max:''' Oh, you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help. Call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.
 '''Chris:''' Ya fucking douchebag!
 '''Max:''' [''A [[Patti Chandler|dog]] goes "AWOWOWOWOWO!" in the background''] You suck. You suck...nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know. I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes". I'll call him. Hey, Darnell. Darnell, come over here.
 '''Chris:''' No. I said no!
 '''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!
 '''Chris:''' I said NO!!!
 '''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm— I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.
 '''Chris:''' I said— I said— I said NO!!!
 '''Max:''' No you didn't, I— I heard yes. Darnell— Darnell, I think he said "yes". He said "yes", Darnell. Yes.
 '''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!
 '''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt. Whatever. Darnell's going to watch, though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']
 '''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this. Also, while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.
 '''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']
 '''Max:''' Alright, fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.
 '''Max:''' So wait, you're recording this, too?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it AND you're showing it live? Really?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']
 '''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, we saw you cu— The camera saw you cutting?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' Alright, that's...wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt. Can you say one thing?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?
 '''Max:''' After you do this, yes.
 '''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?
 '''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."
 '''Chris:''' Up my ass.
 '''Max:''' Up your ass.
 '''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.
 '''Max:''' Hey, Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!", okay? You have to do this, or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there, and while you do it, say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man. It's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh, God, it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?
 '''Chris:''' ...Maybe.
 '''Max:''' No, no, really? Tell me the— Tell me the truth. Did you?
 '''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]
 '''Max:''' Whatever, just— Just— Yeah, just— Put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh...goodness. This is... Just—
Just— Just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long, please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up. Shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE!!! Yes, yes. Please! Please, do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?
 '''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.
 '''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.
 '''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']
 '''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.
 '''Max:''' How miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Totally miserable.
 '''Max:''' Oh, really?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!
 '''Chris:''' [''grunting'']
 '''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']
 '''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']
 '''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just— Just— Just shut up. Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?
 '''Max:''' I said shut up. Don't— Don't even ruin Chewbacca.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err! Oh, God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.
 '''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE!!! NO. MORE.
 '''Chris:''' [''groan'']
 '''Max:''' Brown-Stain Sonichu, with the power to cha—
 '''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']
 '''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.
 '''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']
 '''Troll 2:''' BlueSpike, stop that shit.
 '''Troll 3:''' This is awful.
 '''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']
 '''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.
 '''Max:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.
 '''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.
 '''Troll:''' BlueSpike, stop this shit.
 '''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']
 '''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.
 '''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.
 '''Chris:''' Stop?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, sure.
 '''Chris:''' [''groan'']
 '''Max:''' Don't take 'em out, though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.
 '''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.
 '''Chris:''' One second.
 '''Troll:''' Blue, let him...
 '''Max:''' Yo, Chris, this is what I strive for. Watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing, now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.
 '''Troll:''' God''dam''mit, BlueSpike. God ''damn''.
 '''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.
 '''Chris:''' Be right back. Excuse me.
 '''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?
 '''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!
 '''Max:''' No, no, no. You can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands, I will not send Julie to Europe.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.
 '''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?
 '''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!
 '''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.

===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===
'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.
 '''Max:''' Really? How terrible?
 '''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.
 '''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?
 '''Chris:''' No, this is enough.
 '''Max:''' No, no, no, no. You're not the one making the choices.
 '''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.
 '''Max:''' Chris, how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...
 '''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—
 '''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots, you fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do? What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?
 '''Chris:''' What do ''I'' want to do?
 '''Max:''' Yeah— No, no, no. I mean, what ''could'' you do that might amuse me?
 '''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...?
 '''Max:''' I have a good idea, Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Actually, I just thought of something.
 '''Max:''' No, no. I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't— I told you, I can't— I could not find any matches at this time.
 '''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the— Go to the store and get some matches then.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"
 '''Max:''' No! Shut up, just shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up! Shut the FUCK up! I have a good idea: burn your house down.
 '''Troll:''' Goddammit, you idiot!
 '''Chris:''' No, [[Destruction_Of_Chris%27s_House|I'm not going to burn my house down.]]
 '''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.
 '''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.
 '''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down, then we— Then she won't have a place to come ''to''.
 '''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris, there is something— There is something...
 '''Troll:''' BlueSpike. Stop it.

===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===
'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]]. Julie's going to talk to you there, it's important.
 '''Troll:''' Ten points.
 '''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.
 '''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...
 '''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—
 '''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there!
 '''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—
 '''Max:''' Then use the PSEye, that's the only chance you have.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not— I'm gonna tell Julie. I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure it's you.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.
 '''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.
 '''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[PSEye]], get the PSEye...
 '''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.
 '''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.
 '''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.
 '''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PSEye if you don't shut up.
 '''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.
 '''Max:''' You better, or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.
 '''Chris:''' No. Just...sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PSEye. Alright?
 '''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure that it works before you come in Mumble.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' You're a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find— I'm just trying to...do a— I've just proven I can do most anything for my true love.
 '''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin'— Alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']
 '''Max:''' There we go.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.
 '''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.
 '''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?
 '''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it, anyway. [''At 41:31, you can hear what vaguely sounds like "[[wikipedia:Have I Told You Lately|Have I Told You Lately]]" by [[I Gotta Make My Move|Rod Stewart]], meaning that what's on the TV is likely [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeVybJmtMFA this infomercial from Time-Life]''] Alright, I'm tryin' for you— Tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing— I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.
 '''Max:''' Does it work?
 '''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware. It's waiting to find software for this hardware.
 '''Max:''' Software for the hardware?
 '''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said: software for the hardware.
 '''Max:''' Yes...
 '''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.
 '''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work: the ''Hey You, Pikachu!'' mike.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?
 '''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works?
 '''Chris:''' At this time, I do not.
 '''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Chris? Chris!
 '''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?
 '''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to turn my chair around so I can turn the volume down on the radio!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could— It could fall on to me any second!
 '''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?
 '''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]
 '''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the— I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!
 '''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' There.
 '''Chris:''' Fine.
 '''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' Apology accepted?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.
 '''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here! I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.
 '''Chris:''' I'm working on it!
 '''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!
 '''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!
 '''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?
 '''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!
 '''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?
 '''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!
 '''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.
 '''Chris:''' Hold on a second.
 '''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.
 '''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...
 '''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio Wizard?
 '''Chris:''' I got something working.
 '''Max:''' What would that be?
 '''Chris:''' A mike.
 '''Max:''' So, it's working?
 '''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.
 '''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.

===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===
'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.
 '''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi. I'm gonna put my earphones on.
 '''Julie:''' Hi.
 '''Clyde:''' Hey!
 '''BlueSpike:''' Hey.
 '''Julie:''' Um, Chris...
 '''Chris:''' Julie?
 '''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while...
 '''Chris:''' Yes?
 '''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, uh, go ahead and tell me now.
 '''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.
 '''Chris:''' C'mon, please?
 '''Julie:''' No. I can't.
 '''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you just now.
 '''Julie:''' Why, what happened?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.
 '''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.
 '''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?
 '''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?
 '''Female Troll:''' Blue, he's not there.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Fuuuuck!
 '''Troll:''' Give him some time.
 '''Julie:''' Chris...
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I-I came back now, I won— I wonder what happened there.
 '''Julie:''' I don't know, but this is... Can you talk with the [[fans]] for, like, 5 minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...
 '''Julie:''' Actually, no. No, I'm ready to tell you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been... having sex with a 13-year-old boy, you sick fuck!
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a 13-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' pedofork, so you better get the fuck out now—
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:'''—before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now, wait a minute—
 '''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.
 '''Chris:''' I did not— I did not know you were a 13-year-old.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll lea—
 '''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now— No, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait. Now, I'm— Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip. Now, I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.
 '''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?
 '''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?
 '''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died 5 years ago. Who have you been talking to? A BOY! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... Yes, please do speak.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?
 '''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a 13-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.
 '''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.
 '''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.
 '''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?
 '''Chris:''' I feel terrible.
 '''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you— If you really want your self-dignity... If you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' So, what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?
 '''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this. I take a—
 '''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait. First of all. Clyde?
 '''Clyde:''' What up?
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was - I expected a bit more of a shitstorm - that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.
 '''Clyde:''' Whatever.
 '''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] a [[boyfriend-free girl]]? Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.
 '''Clyde:''' Hello, hello, Chris. On that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone. We were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.
 '''BlueSpike:''' There ''was'', but she died.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she's real— She actually is in Ohio, but...
 '''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris. About the wildfires I told you about, I truly was the one who started them.
 '''Clyde:''' Okay. Now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy. I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...
 '''Chris:''' I thought— I thought she— I thought...
 '''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.
 '''Chris:''' You just sound— I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no. Shut the fuck up and let me talk to him. Shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want? Do you want your PSN back?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?
 '''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.
 '''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay. I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?
 '''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow, but it was all fake. It was all, all fake.
 '''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...
 '''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker Shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no ''Sonichu'' fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?
 '''Chris:''' I'm listening.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...
 '''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times. What is this, the ninth time so far?
 '''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.
 '''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever. [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie. You disgust me...
 '''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account, you fucking dick!"
 '''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your— What's left of your fans, at least...
 '''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?
 '''Chris:''' I'm not crying!
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.
 '''Chris:''' I am not!
 '''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike. You're a little too mean... Well, whatever.
 '''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris. I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?
 '''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also... Oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...
 '''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times... And you still believed...
 '''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Goodbye. [''hangs up'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.
 '''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.
 '''Female Troll:''' Can I...stop the recording now?
 [''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|''Duke Nukem'']] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".'']
 '''Female Troll:''' Stop, stop, stop, stop...!
 '''Troll:''' Ballsballsballsballsballsballs.
 '''Female Troll:''' Can I stop recording?
 [''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?75fhxy3n9yc1662 MP3 of the audio.]
*[http://db.tt/iDXSR3LV Mirror of MP3]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Julie Saga]]

Chris Sings Lovin' You

2017-07-10T23:04:00Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Transcript */

{{Honest}}
[[File:1240785819569.jpg|thumb|300px|[[RAPE]][[Stare|FACE]]]]
'''Chris Sings Lovin' You''' is a terrifying [[video]] uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 28 [[March 2009]]. It's another musical tribute for [[Ivy]], in which [[Chris]] does [[Holding Out for a Hero|his usual shtick in tributes]] while his trainwreck of a "cover" of "[[Lovin' You]]" overlaps with his monologue. The execution is far more oddly disturbing than it is romantic.

==Watch==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Sings Lovin' You
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TU9_24HRWbo}}
| stardate = 28 [[March 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Ivy|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlueShirt|text}}
| previous = [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009#Video|CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]
| next = [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora#Watch|Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''For the first half-minute of the video, while the camera is trained on his face from below, displaying [[The Creepy Stare|a creepy smile]], Chris has mixed the recordings of his monologue and his singing together. As a result, both are almost impossible to understand, albeit both equally terrifying. The lyrics to the "song" can be found on its aforementioned page.'']

My beautiful Ivy, you've done so much for me even though you're not here right now. You've reset my [[biological clock]]. You've ignited more emotions in me than any woman has ever made me feel before. You have inspired me all over again, like no woman has been able to inspire me before.

[''Cut to a montage of images from [[Sonichu Special 1]]. Chris sings in the background. As the montage continues, a disturbing squeaking noise kicks up in the background, which is Chris attempting to provide sound effects for the comics in addition to his singing. Some faint, yet equally disturbing panting is later heard. We cut back to Chris's face, and the song is once again mixed with his monologue.'']

I love you Ivy. Make your journey here safely, and I will wait for you. [''removes his [[pedo-glasses]], closes his eyes and makes a hideous kissy-face gesture at the camera before the video mercifully ends.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]|nextlink=[[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-28]]
[[Category:Ivy Saga videos| 2009-03-28]]

White knight

2017-07-10T22:46:34Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Chris is beyond pity */

{{Articleofthenow}}
 
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|[[If You Were a Woman and I Was a Man|Bonnie Tyler]], "[[Holding Out for a Hero]]"}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on [[the Internet]] to help or defend someone else against other people, out of [[CWC is Sad|pity or compassion]], or for [[China|ulterior motives]]. White knighting of [[Chris]] is especially prevalent because of the sheer volume of abuse he's taken ever since he found his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica ]] page, which in turn is caused by Chris's total unwillingness to heed any of his many white knights.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

In the broader internet trolling community, a wide range of people, from neutral observers to even his greatest trolls, are accused of being white knights. This is mostly due to Chris's "fans" discouraging [[Weening]] and [[A-Logging]], acts which, to outside observers, could be misinterpreted as an attempt to reduce trolling. Many of these outside observers are also confused by the tendency of Chris's trolls, including his most [[Vivian Gee|prolific]] [[Clyde Cash|ones]], trying to get him to improve his life, as they don't know Chris well enough to know it's nigh impossible to get him to improve using the "soft touch". So when the label "white knight" gets thrown around, take it with a grain of salt.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being a lolcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance, or even beyond help. Once upon a time, the consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's ED article, [[/cwc/]], [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] was that Chris's [[racism]], [[Homos|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] made him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith.

Today, however, Chris's racism and homophobia are slowly ebbing away along with his parents' influence over him, and A-Logging is no longer as fashionable as it once was. Accordingly, nowadays, opinion on the matter is somewhat divided on whether Chris is capable of improvement, although most agree that if Chris is going to improve, it will not be in any large part due to the efforts of third parties because, in the main, he is still too proud and stubborn to accept advice.

Some believe that Chris is improving on his own, albeit slowly and in small increments, as seen in his gradual abandonment of his homophobia, which began with him declaring tolerance for lesbians, which he eventually extended to gay men. Others believe that Chris has not tangibly improved, that he has merely moved sideways, rather than forward. Many of these believe that Chris cannot improve, for example, his [[tugboat]], his public misadventures and the thorough documentation of his sordid dealings online make employment all but an impossibility for Chris. Many more quibble over what can be defined as Chris "improving". Some have proposed that Chris improving need not necessarily mean becoming a functioning adult, which at this stage would be an uphill battle for Chris anyway. Rather, they claim that Chris is improving in that he is happier than he once was. He has found [[Impulse Gay Social Club|a new hangout]] where he stands to improve his social skills and make friends. Moreover, he has finally found a way to cash in on his e-fame, delighted his fanbase by resuming the comics ''and'' made his dreams of a Sonichu media empire a reality, albeit probably on a much smaller scale than he once envisaged.

In any case, the consensus on white knights and counter-trolls has remained somewhat consistent; they are and always have been seen as wasting everyone's time by trolls and Christorians alike, who accordingly have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes]] and the [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The internet is full of [[autistic]] people, manchildren, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his [[obesity]], his all-consuming need for female companionship, or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict Blanca, and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he's never "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris' autism also means that he thinks, and sees the world, in simplistic, binary terms; he cannot easily "read between the lines" or detect sarcasm, or practically any kind of nuance or subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When 2 male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref> It is also thought that his decision to go [[tomgirl]] was at least partially due to him taking advice to "get in touch with his feminine side" literally.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, BlueSpike's sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. The [[JULAAAY|less sophisticated]] bulk of the trolling was the work of A-Logs and weens, who are frowned upon even by trolls, and rightfully so. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

===For the sake of [[Barbara]]'s sanity===
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that Snorlax should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't===
All Chris had to do to end the trolling was to stop responding to it. If he had taken this small step, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] would've made his ED page and that probably would've been the end of it. The first trolls had nothing personal against Chris; they just decided he was a worthy target after reading his [[Sonichu (comic)|crappy ''Sonichu'' comics]] and seeing him go into a meltdown over his ED page. If he'd quit responding to their provocations and quit posting [[12 October 2009|videos of himself throwing tantrums]] on [[YouTube]], the trolls would have eventually just moved on to someone else. Instead, Chris tried to "fight back" against them, in turn revealing more and more of his personal information, until eventually the trolls knew all of his contact info and all the details of his life.

That was when the trolling went past a point of no return, spilling into Chris' personal life so much that there would be absolutely no way for him to ever disassociate himself from it. Even when he was away from the computer, he would find himself subjected to trolls calling his cell phone, sending him mail, and following him around in public. While the obsessive trolling was nothing less than shitty, the fact still remains that Chris was the one who allowed them to have such control over his life; thanks to him always overreacting to every little provocation and handing over all his personal information to them.

There is also the theory that Chris does things for trolls to mock him merely for the attention.

===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]], [[Autism]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]]. In recent years, many have even began to opine that Chris doesn't even ''want'' help; as can be observed in his frequent outbursts on Facebook, what he really wants is to exploit his own misfortune to get pity, attention and gifts. It is also theorized that helping him is pointless because Chris is well-known for always wanting to have his cake and eat it. Even if he woke up tomorrow morning and found that all of his dreams had come true, he'd still concoct new grievances.

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately after this, he started talking about a sexy dance. And 8 months later, he was filmed enjoying some [[Long Island Iced Tea]].

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After hearing that he caused [[Ryan Cash]] to die, Chris marveled at the fact that he had incited suicide, right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When he heard that he made [[Sarah May]] attempt suicide, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. People who have had to deal with suicidal people, or have lost relatives or friends to suicide wouldn't exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On 1 [[November 2009]], Chris went as far as to mock '''9/11''' (more on ''that'' video can be found in the "Chris is beyond pity section").

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris simply said that he was "sorry" and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people, but Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing, and was clearly given little-to-no help with his autism as he grew up.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. While Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he has never done anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders, and whom he eventually dismissed anyway.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

After he [[26 December 2014|maced a GameStop employee and said it made him feel "badass"]], a deeply concerned troll going by the name Renee tried to convince him to go to see a psychiatrist. In response, Chris took this as a personal insult, and wished "Renee" and her boyfriend a slow demise in a house fire. Not only does this demonstrate that Chris holds his ego in higher esteem than his mental health, but it is also quite staggering that he would wish death in a fire upon someone [[Destruction Of Chris's House|''after he narrowly escaped the same fate'']]. Moreover, it is worth noting that Chris remembered that Renee had told him in the past that she already had a boyfriend. Compare his reaction to this well-meaning request from Renee, to his compliance with more bizarre requests from, say, Jackie. This shows that regardless of who you are or what you want to say, Chris only cares to listen to you if you have a [[china]] and aren't already taken.

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality, even if he often ignores it in favor of his own interests. He has been held accountable for his own actions in a court of law, twice (and rightfully so). His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. From "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]" to "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping...trollin' stupid pickle-suited...'''nigger'''!]]"]]

Chris often reacts to provocation aggressively, which is quite an understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris's opinions, asking him why he does what he does, or as evidenced above, trying to expose him to reality can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|''unpleasant'']] things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did. Chris believes that since he is reacting to being "wronged" by someone else, his actions, no matter how extreme they are, are justified.

Chris has [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted young children]] during card games and scared some of them away from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented the now-defunct store and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by ED, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.

Chris has sexually harassed [[Megan|two]] [[Catherine|women]] in real life. The former made it explicitly clear to him that his inappropriate touching and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill manchild and would become his [[sweetheart from the ground-up]]. He ''bragged'' to the latter about how he learned to keep his hands to himself after the fallout with Megan, then faceplanted her breasts.

After Megan cut ties with Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a drawing of him fingerbanging her]] to his ED page, he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. When this failed to placate her, he then had the nerve to say "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''[[Ego|him]]''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

Years later, Chris would go so far as to totally demonize Megan for rejecting his 'good intentions', posting her address up on his [[Facebook]] profile in the hopes that trolls would find it and punish her for him. On 3 and 4 October 2013, he took this even further, posting [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|an unbelievable multi-part tirade]] about Megan on Facebook, wherein he accused her of being the leader of a vast troll conspiracy against him and claimed to have consorted with a ''[[Chris and reality|fictional]] [[Megagi La Skunk|character]]'' Megan once made for him, who supposedly told Chris that Megan [[Sandy|should never have been born]]. As if this wasn't enough insanity on its own, Chris then went on to claim he had confiscated the [[Sailor Megtune]] superpowers he had given her in the comics, and proceeded to demand that Megan fix his entire life, or else he would sic the spirits of his deceased father and dog on her.

Chris has even started up [[List of Chris's Lies|false]] [[rape]] claims against his [[Bruce Johnson|elementary school principal]]. That alone should warrant anybody to not defend him ever.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego just keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool is probably the ''only'' genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally disabled. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding whatever damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. Poetically, after he posted this video, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''. SonichuIzCool didn't step down, and responded back with a video that criticized his actions. To date, Chris has never issued a response to that, thus meaning he was dismantled by a slow-in-the-mind.

On 1 November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to create a YouTube video called [[Twin Falling Towers]], wherein he ''mocks 9/11''. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and terrorists'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. He even used his mouse cursor as a "plane" and made childish explosion noises. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the World Trade Center towers into [[Cakefarts|cake]] candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the Twin Tower images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a "fan" named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch pornography with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|"expert"]], encouraged him to do so. When "Mike" got back to him, the news wasn't good; Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike Sr. begged Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come home. Unfortunately, Chris was under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Chris was next contacted by Mike's "wife", who told him that after discovering that Mike Jr. had married the prostitute in Las Vegas, Mike Sr. died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's widow, offering her his infamous canned response in lieu of even pretending to give a fuck, then later responded to Mike's son's grief and anger with all of three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]] When called out later, he denied having ever spoken to Mike, much less read his obituary. While this was all obviously trolling, Chris's nonchalant reaction to his hypothetically ruining someone's life and tearing their family apart doesn't exactly paint him in a good light.

In the post [[Tomgirl_Saga| Tomgirl saga]] world of Chris some trolls have shown remorse over past trollings of Chris. Some cite Chris' new minority gender identity and his infamous autism as reasons to be more sympathetic to Chris. However, Chris has never shown respect for other transgendered people, but has been outright transphobic [[Doxing Jeff/Francine|by refusing to acknowledge their identity]] or [[I Am me; He is not| using slurs against them]]. This does not stop Chris demanding that people respect his new found gender identity without a hint of self-awareness. Chris has made it clear he doesn't have respect for others even if they share very similar problems or experiences like him. Even post tomgirl Chris has also gone on record refusing to date anyone transgendered or with autism. Chris hates those who are similar to him [[Chris and hypocrisy|for bringing his insecurities and imperfections to light and will lash out at them for it]].

Further adding to this short-lived newfound pity towards Chris was the [[26 December 2014]] incident, from the way in which he conducted himself, commanding employees "[[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]" and generally behaving as if [[Chris and reality|he were]] [[Chris and his Ego|answerable]] [[Chris and the law|to no-one]] [[Chris and religion|throughout]], to macing a GameStop employee as he walked out out of the store. This is just after Chris [[I Love You, Catherine|supposedly fell]] [[To Mr. Smith|into a depression]], and the fact that he quickly bounced back with an act of astounding [[Ego|hubris]] and [[Naive|stupidity]] shows how little of pity most people had for him prior to that point. The revelation that Chris was in jail awaiting video court two days later was received with relief, and hopes that he may finally be forced [[Chris and remorse|to]] [[Chris and anger|learn]] [[Chris and his ego|lessons]] [[Chris and reality|he]] [[Chris and psychology|should've]] been taught three decades ago.

Any reason you might could find for believing you can save Chris is only fooling yourself. Chris has willfully chosen to become a leech on society and any of many people listed on this wiki who had taken pity on him. He goes from person to person and community to community only to take what ever he feels entitled to from them, and then throw a temper tantrum when they expel him for unacceptable behavior. To illustrate this point, many of the people Chris has hated the most were not trolls or cruel to him, but simply had gotten in the way of things he wanted regardless if it was intentional or not. For example, [[Wes Iseli]] for dating a girl he liked, [[Adam Stackhouse]] for winning a contest he wanted to win, or [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for prohibiting his [[attraction sign]] on campus. This is a cycle that anyone who has followed Chris' misadventures is familiar with, and it is safe to say your efforts to change or help him will be no different. Chris needs professional and perhaps Institutional help. Anonymous strangers, as well-meaning as they may be, are not equipped with the proper recourses to help Chris, especially as Chris continues [[List of places that have banned Chris| to get banned throughout Charlottesville]] many times without the help of trolls or weens.

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|random video games]] he'll never play, and even DLC for ''games he doesn't own''. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it doesn't require him to do much interacting with other people. Programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]]. He's never going to get a job now, of course - what with [[Chris and the law|his various run-ins with the law]], [[List of places that have banned Chris|his growing local reputation for public tantrums and violence]], his social security, and the fact that he's in his thirties, and [[Wendy's|has only been employed for a month or so]] in his entire life, over a decade ago - but he missed a lot of opportunities while it was still possible. Had he made the right choices, he could've been on a career path and out of his ancestral cesspool by now.

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to accept the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the false assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of [[Autism|an easily manageable illness]] which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about [[Chris and the Law|Chris getting in trouble with the law again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

His steadfast belief that he can get more money by doing nothing as opposed to getting a job is best underscored in his in [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris explains why he won't get a job|an April 2017 Facebook post]], where he explains why he refuses to get a job.

One of his real-life friends tell him that there are services that help people like him get a job, and says she was able to land a job through those services. Chris replies saying that he's too prone to anxiety and shock, and a troll responds that the very fears of getting a job that he's describing are actually very normal for people new to the workforce. She later tells him concerning his refusal to get a job that it's OK as "Not everyone wants to work," but clarifies that "it's OK not to work when you don't need money." That, however, never crosses Chris's mind, and [[Financhu Crisis|considering the Chandlers' financial problems]] that they're in.

But just in case you needed any solid proof of Chris' outright selfishness, it basically came straight from the horse's mouth during his trial. When asked if he understood that he'll be paying his court fees:

{{quote| "Yes. My mother will be taking care of that." |Chris.<ref>[[This_is_how_the_Trial_went]]</ref>}}

Keep in mind that the money being used to bail him out of a mess that he caused is coming out of an ailing old widow's purse while Chris [[Chris and Money|nonchalantly throws his own money away]], as evidenced by his PSN activity mere months later. Also, in 2013, [[Facebook#I_have_had_more_freedom_when_my_father_was_alive|he further hammers this point home]] by complaining about having to take care of Barb with Bob's passing, concerned more about his free time and Michael Snyder taking his money away.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own [[honest content]] than being a good net citizen. On the internet, his demeanor is comparable to that of a spammer: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which is generally tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would at least not make deliberate efforts to hinder them. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway, yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam, excessive trolling, and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to the site to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. Thoughts of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on the CWCipedia provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 20 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight E-mails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculously: he denies being [[Obesity|overweight]].

If you ever get some free time, read Vivian Gee's AIM chat. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that PandaHalo was a troll. Chris fell for Panda anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense into him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In her words:

{{quote|i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try.|Vivian, thoroughly summing up how it feels to try to smack some sense into Chris.}}

Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to the woman who was once his biggest defender ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Blanca was the name of more than a few trolls, and Chris fell for it.
* PandaHalo was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite Vivian's warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire video game development company, and Chris fell for it.
* Sarah May was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Julie was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Ivy was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[Liquid Chris]].
** [[Father Call|Kacey's dad]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. [[February_2012|Twice.]]
* [[Catherine]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Anna McLerran|Anna]]'s warnings.

See a pattern here? Back in the day, Chris would've simply dismissed any attempt to open his eyes to the obvious as an attempt to "ruin his relationship/business partnership for the lulz".

As of 2012, however, it seems that Chris has done a 180 on this, where, out of [[Autism|sheer paranoia]], he believes that anybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp10.png]]</ref> and everybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp6.png]]</ref> is a troll, even when he has no sane reason to reach that conclusion<ref>[[:File:Koreans.PNG]]</ref>.

Surprisingly, even in [[2014]], it was revealed that his latest girlfriend, Catherine, was a troll construct. While [[CWCki Forums|the community observing Chris]] are [[Trolls#Today|no longer impressed]] by such [[weening]], it still shows that even after almost a decade of trolls leading him around by his [[duck]], Chris has learned absolutely nothing.

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do some ''bizarre'' things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be out of the ordinary.

The things Chris achieves when left to his own devices are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His previous brushes with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|creepy]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that backfires without fail. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and [[Recycling|lewd acts]] are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. He even bounced back after being [[Mumble 9|verbally abused by a room of trolls]], one of whom went so far as to tell him to go kill himself. Whatever the trolls say or do to Chris, he always does or says something worse to someone else, and he always bounces back anyway, so what's the problem?

[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]

===Chris has made himself an outcast===
High school and college are where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's autistic. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't [[Gal-pals|female]], [[Pedofork|young]], [[Chris and race|white]], in the [[Charlottesville]] area, and [[Barbara Chandler|willing to mother him forever more]].

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, threw a particularly bizarre tantrum in her office, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his loitering and soliciting were not appropriate behaviors in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are Jerkops, that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world as the antagonist. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given far more leeway than most people ever would have been given, due to Snyder's misguided pity for him), he was barred from his last hangout in Ruckersville that was still open to him.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He has been offered friendship and care time and again, and every time without fail, he drives his friends away with his entitlement, his perverse, bizarre, bellicose behaviors, or his inappropriate sexual advances, or, failing that, he will dismiss them for trying to get him to improve himself or behave like a responsible adult. While he has began frequenting [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] in recent months, and could potentially make friends there, many Christorians believe it is merely a matter of time before history repeats itself and Chris alienates himself from the other regulars.

Complain as he might, Chris's own actions have made him an outcast, and since he refuses to accept this, much less attempt to improve himself, an outcast he shall remain. Try as they might, neither white knights nor trolls have the power to save Chris from his delusions and cognitive dissonance, only he does.

===The stresses of white-knighting===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to keep up-to-date on his activities. Most have to lie and pretend to be a single girl to even capture his attention. This, combined with Chris's habit of pushing away anyone who tries to connect with him, is enough to make any sane non-psychologist crash into slumber.

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his address will be left unread and deleted. Even back in the days of the [[Mailbag]], any emails submitted to it, if they even got published, would've been [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit, and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant manchildren flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unconsciously attract new trolls to take their place, and we all know weens are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after Barbara dies, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his monthly tugboat and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris ends up in prison (again) he will be trolled there as well, and that's if he's lucky.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[JERKS|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that Christorians still find especially impressive, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a thoroughly-kicked autistic.

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing vidya and occasionally drawing unsellable art until Barb died. He'd remain without social skills, a job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that, without exaggeration, is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has long secured his place among such luminaries as [[wikipedia:Time Cube|Gene Ray]] and [[wikipedia:John Titor|John Titor]], and unlike Gene, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris's interactions with the world through his websites and YouTube have drawn in a considerable number of people from around the world who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over Earth, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving--the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and ''may'' bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study and document his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately well-off. The audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow, even if he generally opts out of doing either. Instead of being an unemployable, fat bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an internet-famous unemployable, fat bedroom dweller, and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, possibly appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could even [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|become the next William Hung]] if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

In fact, recently, Chris seems to have latched onto the idea of monetizing his e-fame, which he has managed somewhat successfully. It started with him being paid by a Japanese noise band (albeit a really obscure one) to produce artwork for their album cover (that didn't feature Sonichu or himself for a change) in early 2015, for which he received $50. At around the same time, he started making replica [[medallions]], taking commissions, and, a little later, making custom Sonichu Amiibos, all of which sold fairly well on [[eBay]], particularly the medallions.

In [[August 2015]], Chris did what no-one had thought he would - he resumed work on the Sonichu comics, asking for donations in exchange for releasing new pages, at a price of $10 per page. He even redrew some of the old comics to be a [[Chris and anger|little more]] [[Death threats|tasteful]], for example retconning the infamous gory executions of the Asperpedia Four in the original version of [[Sonichu 10]] to banishment to an Amish community and forced marriage. Many on Kiwi Farms applauded his resumption of work on the comics, a move they had long suggested. It was predicted that the comics would be a better earner for Chris than the relatively unsuccessful botched Amiibos; although no-one could have forseen [[Autism|one person paying Chris $1000]] - which translates into 100 pages worth of new Sonichu comics - meaning Chris gets money for toys, weed and hormones, while we get new content, and the pleasure of watching the fallout <s>if</s> when Chris fails to produce that many pages. It should of course go without saying that Chris's merchandise is bought ([[Kenneth Erwin Englehardt|almost]]) exclusively by trolls, Christorians, and the rest of his "fanbase", as the fragile, low-quality crap he churns out has no value to anyone else. All in all, Chris is finally cashing in on his e-fame, which may someday lead to him "making peace" with his tormentors, and recognizing that he has a somewhat symbiotic relationship with them. Which of course, renders white knighting essentially redundant.

Another important point to remember is that Chris's perversions, flaws and constant failure have made his life into something of a cautionary tale to other autistic people, and he has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] of them to self-improvement. Really, no matter how dire his circumstances come to be, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on Facebook and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO|his own self-loathing]].

{{quote|Whatever.|Chris' [[Mailbag_29#Whatever|1-word response]] to a fan leaving him, a social worker concerned about the [[Chris_and_health#Living_conditions|state of his house]], and a fan concerned about [[Chandler_Cats#Kitty|one of his cats]].}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|Chris' [[Mailbag_43#Go_Fuck_Yourself.2C_too.21|response]] to constructive criticism about [[Chris_and_copyright#Chris.27s_views|copyright]].}}

Chris doesn't treat his so-called "fans" much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans, and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His Mailbag is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When, or if, he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] had no audio on it whatsoever. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic, and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them, some less, some more, some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

===Chris's upbringing doesn't justify his actions===
The shitty way [[Borb]] raised him may be an ''explanation'' for why Chris is so fucked up, but it's not an ''excuse''. Plenty of people have bad childhoods, and abusive or incompetent parents. However, these people don't use that as an excuse for whatever bad things they do. As these people get help and move on, Chris, on the other hand, remains dependent on the same people who screwed him up, and doesn't even try to move past his childhood. Instead, he escapes into a world of fantasy and pornography, and when confronted by reality, he will use all the mental gymnastics at his disposal to twist reality to resemble how he wants it to be. There's also the fact that [[Cole Smithey]] grew up in the same household with the same parents, and yet he lives a relatively normal life. Meanwhile, Chris behaves like an overgrown child, draws art on par with that of elementary schoolers, is chronically in trouble with the law for his persistent failure to regulate his own behavior in public, and generally is extremely antisocial.

===Chris's life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him===
Today, Chris is a total human trainwreck, slowly losing the last of his sanity as each day goes by. While the systematic trolling of him throughout the last few years has doubtless contributed to his degrading mental state (especially his extreme paranoia and distrust for almost everyone), the fact still remains that his life's horrible state is mainly caused by factors outside of the internet. He would still be a lonely outcast, as his poor upbringing gave him such warped views of the world and led him to engage in such bizarre behavior that he drove away every person he tried to connect with. He would still be living in unsanitary conditions due to Barb's hoarding and the fact that his house has not been properly cleaned in the better part of a decade. He would still be banned from most of his favorite hangouts due to his loitering and hostile behavior to other patrons. Also, at the core of it all is how Chris decided that he would be better off living off government handouts while he sits around playing with toys and video games instead of getting a job and heading down a career path, which would have been his one-way ticket to escaping the cesspool that is [[14 Branchland Court]] and living a fulfilling life, not unlike that of his half-brother. Instead, he decided to remain dependent on his elderly, emotionally disturbed parents; look how well that's working out for him.

True to his word, Chris all but abandoned the Internet between [[July 2012]] and [[2013]], save for sporadic ramblings on Facebook. Despite this, quite a bit was revealed about how well he was doing independent of troll influence. He [[Other_documents#Epistle_to_the_Wesley_Memorial_United_Methodist_Church|alienated himself from his church]], earning a ban from the new pastor (undoubtedly because Chris wouldn't shut the hell up about the trolls). After being banned, he even dismissed Rocky as an effective counselor (keep in mind that Rocky once bailed him out of jail, which is quite an extraordinary act of kindness, counselor or not), and went so far as to accuse [[Chris and religion|God]] of being a troll. He continues to this day to describe his life as isolated and lonely, with nobody willing to talk to him, a scenario many have tried and failed to warn him about. He even earned some ire from Anna, his biggest white knight for [[Facebook#Gay_Marriage|making anti-homosexual statements]] on his Facebook page, he even chose to argue with her instead of trying to piece together why a lesbian friend of his would find such statements offensive. As a coup de grace on all of this, Chris ended up trolling himself in the grandest fashion by revealing an [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur account]] made of all of his previously hidden Facebook posts, despite trolls (save for the one who started it) being completely in the dark about it.

Even if all of that doesn't convince you for some reason, consider this: Chris came ''this'' close to being thrown in jail on [[28 October 2011]], and it's possible he'll end up there at last with the more recent [[26 December 2014]] incident, both of which involved the assault of innocent retail workers trying to protect their customers from him. Both times, he did this on his own initiative, with no prodding from the trolls. And make no mistake, ''everyone'' was thoroughly disgusted by Chris's actions, none were eager to defend his pepper-spray assault on an innocent employee, even those who helped support his [[Sonic Boom Protests]] before.

If we were to be extraordinarily generous and assume that none of the disasters which have befallen Chris since the trolling efforts began in earnest would otherwise have happened, the facts ''still'' indicate that Chris's life would have been a complete mess. Chris was discovered by the internet at large in late 2007, by which point he had already been suspended from college, and banned from the [[Fashion Square]] (twice), along with his local branches of [[Wal-Mart]] and [[Target]], only avoiding criminal charges for the ruckus he caused at the latter because the state didn't feel it was worth the effort to pursue the case. As recently as two months before the "official" start of the trolling of Chris, he was making death threats against Adam Stackhouse and his preteen sister, for the former's unwitting disruption of Chris's plan to lose his virginity with Megan, something that she had made clear she had no interest in doing. It may be a depressing conclusion to arrive at, but there's never been anything that anyone outside of the confines of 14 Branchland Court could have reasonably done to prevent Chris's life from being a trainwreck.

===Chris's white knights are making him worse===
A quick glance at the comments on his Facebook statuses should confirm this. Even after he ''committed a felony'' by assaulting a GameStop employee with pepper spray on Boxing Day 2014, then posted a long-winded, obviously dishonest tirade painting himself as an innocent victim on Facebook, none of his white knights offered anything more than a softly-worded, mild condemnation of his behavior. [[William Elliott Waterman|Some]] avoided a direct response altogether, and made some barely relevant comment that conspicuously avoided the main point of Chris's self-serving drivel, probably a feeble and misguided attempt to defuse his [[Chris and anger|rage]].

And this is how his white knights react whenever he gets angry about having to face the consequences of his own behavior. It's painfully clear to Chris's trolls and other observers that his white knights are woefully ill-equipped to deal with Chris. The reactions his tantrums garner from them clearly indicate that they remain ignorant (passively or otherwise) to facts that most learned long ago; namely, that the "soft touch" has never worked with Chris, and only serves to reinforce his [[Chris and reality|belief]] that [[Chris and his Ego|he should be given whatever he desires]] (he is even openly stating that he is ''entitled'' to a girlfriend), and allowed to do as he pleases, while [[Barbara Chandler|others]] shield him from the [[Chris and the Law|negative repercussions]].

Chris's white knights also habitually feed Chris's belief that his trolls are subhuman bullies who simply want to see him destroyed in every conceivable way because he's such a special, brave little boy. While this is arguably [[A-Logging|true of]] [[Weening|some]], for the most part, Chris's trolls are just as interested in seeing Chris improve himself as white knights are, if not moreso, even if many are beginning to doubt such a thing is possible. Indeed, many of the female troll personas who "date" or "befriend" Chris have tried to help him see the error of his ways and reform, and continue to do so. It is partially due to the influence of Chris's white knights, who foolishly (and often futilely) try to root out these trolls, that these attempts to help Chris never result in lasting, positive change on his part.

In short, most of Chris's white knights are attention whores, sycophants or both. To these people, going on a witch-hunt for trolls is preferable to actually trying to help Chris, something which, ironically, even Chris's trolls continue to try to do.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

===White Knights on YouTube===

Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and Panda. She also released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the [[CWCville Library]]'s original curator, Arjen Van Dierten.

On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends, forgetting the fact that BlueSpike ''has no friends''.

===White Knights on Facebook===

In recent times (since 2012), Chris has taken to using Facebook as his main means of expressing himself. Inevitably, this has not only attracted the attention of trolls, but, in 2013, a slew of White Knights as well, in particular, a [[William Elliott Waterman]], who taunted the trolls to come after him instead of Chris ('''Spoiler:''' Nobody did, because nobody actually cared what he had to say). Anna and [[Kim]] are two of the most notable ones on his friends list, both of whom try to offer constructive advice whenever Chris nosedives into a rant...when they're not busy kissing his ass, especially in the case of Anna.

However, as we've come to expect of Chris, anybody who tells him something he doesn't want to hear are people that needed to be brushed off until they stop saying those mean, awful things to him. A good case in point is his [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart|anger-laced tirade in September 2013, when he got thrown out of Walmart and started calling names]]. The white knights typically chimed in with their support...''until'' he revealed that he [[Chris and the law|vandalized]] an Xbox One display in the store. Several of them then told Chris that this was not right of him to do, and that the manager had every right to throw him out. His response to that?

{{quote|They do not.
And if they do, they are most in the wrong, [[Chris and reality|because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever]].|- Chris's response to Chris Rhodes}}

===White Knights in Real Life===

Aside from the most obvious example, an old classmate of Chris from [[Manchester High School]] came online and attempted to defend Chris. Once [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|certain details]] became known, however, said classmate quickly backpedaled on this once he realized that the majority of [[CWCki|what happened]] was Chris' own fault.

===TV Tropes===
The TV Tropes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Sonichu article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. It was eventually removed due to TV Tropes' website policy changing later on--in other words, said message would no longer be allowed on the website. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, the editor in question fails to realize that their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]]

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any old e-friend can reach Chris at this point and change him for the better, certainly not by continuing to ass-pat and pamper him, which is precisely what fucked him up so badly in the first place (as this wiki evidences copiously). Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls, for daring to tell him anything he does not want to hear. With each new incident he causes, it is increasingly obvious that little short of [[Chris and psychology|professional intervention]], the [[Chris and religion|intercession of]] [[GodJesus]], or a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|horrifyingly close brush with death]] will change him.

Though the trolls have certainly tried to be a positive influence on Chris, even they are now largely admitting that Chris is well beyond our aid. They have spent years trying to pierce Chris's many insulating layers of self-deceit, egotism and sheer stubbornness. It is worth bearing in mind that it is these people, not the white knights, that are the closest thing he has to friends, and that some of them have been at this for nearly a decade. They ''know'' him, and if they can't make Chris change, what on earth makes you think you can?

To conclude, with Chris's paranoia, detachment from reality, outlandish behavior and bellicosity all becoming steadily more severe, and with interventions by trolls and white knights alike failing, the best we can hope for is that Chris causes [[26 December 2014|some sort of trouble]] that leads to him receiving the help he needs.

==See also==
*[[A-Logging]]
*[[Weening]]
*[[White knight E-mails]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

White knight

2017-07-10T21:33:44Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Chris is beyond pity */

{{Articleofthenow}}
 
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|[[If You Were a Woman and I Was a Man|Bonnie Tyler]], "[[Holding Out for a Hero]]"}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on [[the Internet]] to help or defend someone else against other people, out of [[CWC is Sad|pity or compassion]], or for [[China|ulterior motives]]. White knighting of [[Chris]] is especially prevalent because of the sheer volume of abuse he's taken ever since he found his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica ]] page, which in turn is caused by Chris's total unwillingness to heed any of his many white knights.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

In the broader internet trolling community, a wide range of people, from neutral observers to even his greatest trolls, are accused of being white knights. This is mostly due to Chris's "fans" discouraging [[Weening]] and [[A-Logging]], acts which, to outside observers, could be misinterpreted as an attempt to reduce trolling. Many of these outside observers are also confused by the tendency of Chris's trolls, including his most [[Vivian Gee|prolific]] [[Clyde Cash|ones]], trying to get him to improve his life, as they don't know Chris well enough to know it's nigh impossible to get him to improve using the "soft touch". So when the label "white knight" gets thrown around, take it with a grain of salt.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being a lolcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance, or even beyond help. Once upon a time, the consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's ED article, [[/cwc/]], [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] was that Chris's [[racism]], [[Homos|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] made him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith.

Today, however, Chris's racism and homophobia are slowly ebbing away along with his parents' influence over him, and A-Logging is no longer as fashionable as it once was. Accordingly, nowadays, opinion on the matter is somewhat divided on whether Chris is capable of improvement, although most agree that if Chris is going to improve, it will not be in any large part due to the efforts of third parties because, in the main, he is still too proud and stubborn to accept advice.

Some believe that Chris is improving on his own, albeit slowly and in small increments, as seen in his gradual abandonment of his homophobia, which began with him declaring tolerance for lesbians, which he eventually extended to gay men. Others believe that Chris has not tangibly improved, that he has merely moved sideways, rather than forward. Many of these believe that Chris cannot improve, for example, his [[tugboat]], his public misadventures and the thorough documentation of his sordid dealings online make employment all but an impossibility for Chris. Many more quibble over what can be defined as Chris "improving". Some have proposed that Chris improving need not necessarily mean becoming a functioning adult, which at this stage would be an uphill battle for Chris anyway. Rather, they claim that Chris is improving in that he is happier than he once was. He has found [[Impulse Gay Social Club|a new hangout]] where he stands to improve his social skills and make friends. Moreover, he has finally found a way to cash in on his e-fame, delighted his fanbase by resuming the comics ''and'' made his dreams of a Sonichu media empire a reality, albeit probably on a much smaller scale than he once envisaged.

In any case, the consensus on white knights and counter-trolls has remained somewhat consistent; they are and always have been seen as wasting everyone's time by trolls and Christorians alike, who accordingly have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes]] and the [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The internet is full of [[autistic]] people, manchildren, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his [[obesity]], his all-consuming need for female companionship, or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict Blanca, and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he's never "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris' autism also means that he thinks, and sees the world, in simplistic, binary terms; he cannot easily "read between the lines" or detect sarcasm, or practically any kind of nuance or subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When 2 male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref> It is also thought that his decision to go [[tomgirl]] was at least partially due to him taking advice to "get in touch with his feminine side" literally.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, BlueSpike's sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. The [[JULAAAY|less sophisticated]] bulk of the trolling was the work of A-Logs and weens, who are frowned upon even by trolls, and rightfully so. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

===For the sake of [[Barbara]]'s sanity===
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that Snorlax should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't===
All Chris had to do to end the trolling was to stop responding to it. If he had taken this small step, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] would've made his ED page and that probably would've been the end of it. The first trolls had nothing personal against Chris; they just decided he was a worthy target after reading his [[Sonichu (comic)|crappy ''Sonichu'' comics]] and seeing him go into a meltdown over his ED page. If he'd quit responding to their provocations and quit posting [[12 October 2009|videos of himself throwing tantrums]] on [[YouTube]], the trolls would have eventually just moved on to someone else. Instead, Chris tried to "fight back" against them, in turn revealing more and more of his personal information, until eventually the trolls knew all of his contact info and all the details of his life.

That was when the trolling went past a point of no return, spilling into Chris' personal life so much that there would be absolutely no way for him to ever disassociate himself from it. Even when he was away from the computer, he would find himself subjected to trolls calling his cell phone, sending him mail, and following him around in public. While the obsessive trolling was nothing less than shitty, the fact still remains that Chris was the one who allowed them to have such control over his life; thanks to him always overreacting to every little provocation and handing over all his personal information to them.

There is also the theory that Chris does things for trolls to mock him merely for the attention.

===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]], [[Autism]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]]. In recent years, many have even began to opine that Chris doesn't even ''want'' help; as can be observed in his frequent outbursts on Facebook, what he really wants is to exploit his own misfortune to get pity, attention and gifts. It is also theorized that helping him is pointless because Chris is well-known for always wanting to have his cake and eat it. Even if he woke up tomorrow morning and found that all of his dreams had come true, he'd still concoct new grievances.

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately after this, he started talking about a sexy dance. And 8 months later, he was filmed enjoying some [[Long Island Iced Tea]].

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After hearing that he caused [[Ryan Cash]] to die, Chris marveled at the fact that he had incited suicide, right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When he heard that he made [[Sarah May]] attempt suicide, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. People who have had to deal with suicidal people, or have lost relatives or friends to suicide wouldn't exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On 1 [[November 2009]], Chris went as far as to mock '''9/11''' (more on ''that'' video can be found in the "Chris is beyond pity section").

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris simply said that he was "sorry" and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people, but Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing, and was clearly given little-to-no help with his autism as he grew up.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. While Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he has never done anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders, and whom he eventually dismissed anyway.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

After he [[26 December 2014|maced a GameStop employee and said it made him feel "badass"]], a deeply concerned troll going by the name Renee tried to convince him to go to see a psychiatrist. In response, Chris took this as a personal insult, and wished "Renee" and her boyfriend a slow demise in a house fire. Not only does this demonstrate that Chris holds his ego in higher esteem than his mental health, but it is also quite staggering that he would wish death in a fire upon someone [[Destruction Of Chris's House|''after he narrowly escaped the same fate'']]. Moreover, it is worth noting that Chris remembered that Renee had told him in the past that she already had a boyfriend. Compare his reaction to this well-meaning request from Renee, to his compliance with more bizarre requests from, say, Jackie. This shows that regardless of who you are or what you want to say, Chris only cares to listen to you if you have a [[china]] and aren't already taken.

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality, even if he often ignores it in favor of his own interests. He has been held accountable for his own actions in a court of law, twice (and rightfully so). His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. From "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]" to "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping...trollin' stupid pickle-suited...'''nigger'''!]]"]]

Chris often reacts to provocation aggressively, which is quite an understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris's opinions, asking him why he does what he does, or as evidenced above, trying to expose him to reality can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|''unpleasant'']] things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did. Chris believes that since he is reacting to being "wronged" by someone else, his actions, no matter how extreme they are, are justified.

Chris has [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted young children]] during card games and scared some of them away from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented the now-defunct store and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by ED, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.

Chris has sexually harassed [[Megan|two]] [[Catherine|women]] in real life. The former made it explicitly clear to him that his inappropriate touching and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill manchild and would become his [[sweetheart from the ground-up]]. He ''bragged'' to the latter about how he learned to keep his hands to himself after the fallout with Megan, then faceplanted her breasts.

After Megan cut ties with Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a drawing of him fingerbanging her]] to his ED page, he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. When this failed to placate her, he then had the nerve to say "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''[[Ego|him]]''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

Years later, Chris would go so far as to totally demonize Megan for rejecting his 'good intentions', posting her address up on his [[Facebook]] profile in the hopes that trolls would find it and punish her for him. On 3 and 4 October 2013, he took this even further, posting [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|an unbelievable multi-part tirade]] about Megan on Facebook, wherein he accused her of being the leader of a vast troll conspiracy against him and claimed to have consorted with a ''[[Chris and reality|fictional]] [[Megagi La Skunk|character]]'' Megan once made for him, who supposedly told Chris that Megan [[Sandy|should never have been born]]. As if this wasn't enough insanity on its own, Chris then went on to claim he had confiscated the [[Sailor Megtune]] superpowers he had given her in the comics, and proceeded to demand that Megan fix his entire life, or else he would sic the spirits of his deceased father and dog on her.

Chris has even started up [[List of Chris's Lies|false]] [[rape]] claims against his [[Bruce Johnson|elementary school principal]]. That alone should warrant anybody to not defend him ever.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego just keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool is probably the ''only'' genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally disabled. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding whatever damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. Poetically, after he posted this video, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''. SonichuIzCool didn't step down, and responded back with a video that criticized his actions. To date, Chris has never issued a response to that, thus meaning he was dismantled by a slow-in-the-mind.

On 1 November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to create a YouTube video called [[Twin Falling Towers]], wherein he ''mocks 9/11''. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and terrorists'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. He even used his mouse cursor as a "plane" and made childish explosion noises. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the World Trade Center towers into [[Cakefarts|cake]] candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the Twin Tower images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a "fan" named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch pornography with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|"expert"]], encouraged him to do so. When "Mike" got back to him, the news wasn't good; Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike Sr. begged Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come home. Unfortunately, Chris was under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Chris was next contacted by Mike's "wife", who told him that after discovering that Mike Jr. had married the prostitute in Las Vegas, Mike Sr. died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's widow, offering her his infamous canned response in lieu of even pretending to give a fuck, then later responded to Mike's son's grief and anger with all of three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]] When called out later, he denied having ever spoken to Mike, much less read his obituary. While this was all obviously trolling, Chris's nonchalant reaction to his hypothetically ruining someone's life and tearing their family apart doesn't exactly paint him in a good light.

In the post [[Tomgirl_Saga| Tomgirl saga]] world of Chris some trolls have shown remorse over past trollings of Chris. Some cite Chris' new minority gender identity and his infamous autism as reasons to be more sympathetic to Chris. However, Chris has never shown respect for other transgendered people, but has been outright transphobic [[Doxing Jeff/Francine|by refusing to acknowledge their identity]] or [[I Am me; He is not| using slurs against them]]. This does not stop Chris demanding that people respect his new found gender identity without a hint of self-awareness. Chris has made it clear he doesn't have respect for others even if they share very similar problems or experiences like him. Even post tomgirl Chris has also gone on record refusing to date anyone transgendered or with autism. Chris hates those who are similar to him [[Chris and hypocrisy|for bringing his insecurities and imperfections to light and will lash out at them for it]].

Further adding to this short-lived newfound pity towards Chris was the [[26 December 2014]] incident, from the way in which he conducted himself, commanding employees "[[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]" and generally behaving as if [[Chris and reality|he were]] [[Chris and his Ego|answerable]] [[Chris and the law|to no-one]] [[Chris and religion|throughout]], to macing a GameStop employee as he walked out out of the store. This is just after Chris [[I Love You, Catherine|supposedly fell]] [[To Mr. Smith|into a depression]], and the fact that he quickly bounced back with an act of astounding [[Ego|hubris]] and [[Naive|stupidity]] shows how little of pity most people had for him prior to that point. The revelation that Chris was in jail awaiting video court two days later was received with relief, and hopes that he may finally be forced to [[Chris and anger|learn]] [[Chris and his ego|lessons]] [[Chris and reality|he]] [[Chris and psychology|should've]] been taught three decades ago.

Any reason you might could find for believing you can save Chris is only fooling yourself. Chris has willfully chosen to become a leech on society and any of many people listed on this wiki who had taken pity on him. He goes from person to person and community to community only to take what ever he feels entitled to from them, and then throw a temper tantrum when they expel him for unacceptable behavior. To illustrate this point, many of the people Chris has hated the most were not trolls or cruel to him, but simply had gotten in the way of things he wanted regardless if it was intentional or not. For example, [[Wes Iseli]] for dating a girl he liked, [[Adam Stackhouse]] for winning a contest he wanted to win, or [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for prohibiting his [[attraction sign]] on campus. This is a cycle that anyone who has followed Chris' misadventures is familiar with, and it is safe to say your efforts to change or help him will be no different. Chris needs professional and perhaps Institutional help. Anonymous strangers, as well-meaning as they may be, are not equipped with the proper recourses to help Chris, especially as Chris continues [[List of places that have banned Chris| to get banned throughout Charlottesville]] many times without the help of trolls or weens.

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|random video games]] he'll never play, and even DLC for ''games he doesn't own''. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it doesn't require him to do much interacting with other people. Programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]]. He's never going to get a job now, of course - what with [[Chris and the law|his various run-ins with the law]], [[List of places that have banned Chris|his growing local reputation for public tantrums and violence]], his social security, and the fact that he's in his thirties, and [[Wendy's|has only been employed for a month or so]] in his entire life, over a decade ago - but he missed a lot of opportunities while it was still possible. Had he made the right choices, he could've been on a career path and out of his ancestral cesspool by now.

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to accept the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the false assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of [[Autism|an easily manageable illness]] which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about [[Chris and the Law|Chris getting in trouble with the law again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

His steadfast belief that he can get more money by doing nothing as opposed to getting a job is best underscored in his in [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris explains why he won't get a job|an April 2017 Facebook post]], where he explains why he refuses to get a job.

One of his real-life friends tell him that there are services that help people like him get a job, and says she was able to land a job through those services. Chris replies saying that he's too prone to anxiety and shock, and a troll responds that the very fears of getting a job that he's describing are actually very normal for people new to the workforce. She later tells him concerning his refusal to get a job that it's OK as "Not everyone wants to work," but clarifies that "it's OK not to work when you don't need money." That, however, never crosses Chris's mind, and [[Financhu Crisis|considering the Chandlers' financial problems]] that they're in.

But just in case you needed any solid proof of Chris' outright selfishness, it basically came straight from the horse's mouth during his trial. When asked if he understood that he'll be paying his court fees:

{{quote| "Yes. My mother will be taking care of that." |Chris.<ref>[[This_is_how_the_Trial_went]]</ref>}}

Keep in mind that the money being used to bail him out of a mess that he caused is coming out of an ailing old widow's purse while Chris [[Chris and Money|nonchalantly throws his own money away]], as evidenced by his PSN activity mere months later. Also, in 2013, [[Facebook#I_have_had_more_freedom_when_my_father_was_alive|he further hammers this point home]] by complaining about having to take care of Barb with Bob's passing, concerned more about his free time and Michael Snyder taking his money away.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own [[honest content]] than being a good net citizen. On the internet, his demeanor is comparable to that of a spammer: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which is generally tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would at least not make deliberate efforts to hinder them. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway, yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam, excessive trolling, and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to the site to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. Thoughts of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on the CWCipedia provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 20 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight E-mails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculously: he denies being [[Obesity|overweight]].

If you ever get some free time, read Vivian Gee's AIM chat. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that PandaHalo was a troll. Chris fell for Panda anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense into him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In her words:

{{quote|i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try.|Vivian, thoroughly summing up how it feels to try to smack some sense into Chris.}}

Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to the woman who was once his biggest defender ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Blanca was the name of more than a few trolls, and Chris fell for it.
* PandaHalo was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite Vivian's warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire video game development company, and Chris fell for it.
* Sarah May was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Julie was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Ivy was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[Liquid Chris]].
** [[Father Call|Kacey's dad]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. [[February_2012|Twice.]]
* [[Catherine]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Anna McLerran|Anna]]'s warnings.

See a pattern here? Back in the day, Chris would've simply dismissed any attempt to open his eyes to the obvious as an attempt to "ruin his relationship/business partnership for the lulz".

As of 2012, however, it seems that Chris has done a 180 on this, where, out of [[Autism|sheer paranoia]], he believes that anybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp10.png]]</ref> and everybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp6.png]]</ref> is a troll, even when he has no sane reason to reach that conclusion<ref>[[:File:Koreans.PNG]]</ref>.

Surprisingly, even in [[2014]], it was revealed that his latest girlfriend, Catherine, was a troll construct. While [[CWCki Forums|the community observing Chris]] are [[Trolls#Today|no longer impressed]] by such [[weening]], it still shows that even after almost a decade of trolls leading him around by his [[duck]], Chris has learned absolutely nothing.

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do some ''bizarre'' things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be out of the ordinary.

The things Chris achieves when left to his own devices are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His previous brushes with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|creepy]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that backfires without fail. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and [[Recycling|lewd acts]] are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. He even bounced back after being [[Mumble 9|verbally abused by a room of trolls]], one of whom went so far as to tell him to go kill himself. Whatever the trolls say or do to Chris, he always does or says something worse to someone else, and he always bounces back anyway, so what's the problem?

[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]

===Chris has made himself an outcast===
High school and college are where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's autistic. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't [[Gal-pals|female]], [[Pedofork|young]], [[Chris and race|white]], in the [[Charlottesville]] area, and [[Barbara Chandler|willing to mother him forever more]].

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, threw a particularly bizarre tantrum in her office, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his loitering and soliciting were not appropriate behaviors in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are Jerkops, that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world as the antagonist. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given far more leeway than most people ever would have been given, due to Snyder's misguided pity for him), he was barred from his last hangout in Ruckersville that was still open to him.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He has been offered friendship and care time and again, and every time without fail, he drives his friends away with his entitlement, his perverse, bizarre, bellicose behaviors, or his inappropriate sexual advances, or, failing that, he will dismiss them for trying to get him to improve himself or behave like a responsible adult. While he has began frequenting [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] in recent months, and could potentially make friends there, many Christorians believe it is merely a matter of time before history repeats itself and Chris alienates himself from the other regulars.

Complain as he might, Chris's own actions have made him an outcast, and since he refuses to accept this, much less attempt to improve himself, an outcast he shall remain. Try as they might, neither white knights nor trolls have the power to save Chris from his delusions and cognitive dissonance, only he does.

===The stresses of white-knighting===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to keep up-to-date on his activities. Most have to lie and pretend to be a single girl to even capture his attention. This, combined with Chris's habit of pushing away anyone who tries to connect with him, is enough to make any sane non-psychologist crash into slumber.

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his address will be left unread and deleted. Even back in the days of the [[Mailbag]], any emails submitted to it, if they even got published, would've been [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit, and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant manchildren flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unconsciously attract new trolls to take their place, and we all know weens are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after Barbara dies, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his monthly tugboat and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris ends up in prison (again) he will be trolled there as well, and that's if he's lucky.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[JERKS|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that Christorians still find especially impressive, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a thoroughly-kicked autistic.

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing vidya and occasionally drawing unsellable art until Barb died. He'd remain without social skills, a job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that, without exaggeration, is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has long secured his place among such luminaries as [[wikipedia:Time Cube|Gene Ray]] and [[wikipedia:John Titor|John Titor]], and unlike Gene, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris's interactions with the world through his websites and YouTube have drawn in a considerable number of people from around the world who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over Earth, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving--the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and ''may'' bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study and document his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately well-off. The audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow, even if he generally opts out of doing either. Instead of being an unemployable, fat bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an internet-famous unemployable, fat bedroom dweller, and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, possibly appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could even [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|become the next William Hung]] if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

In fact, recently, Chris seems to have latched onto the idea of monetizing his e-fame, which he has managed somewhat successfully. It started with him being paid by a Japanese noise band (albeit a really obscure one) to produce artwork for their album cover (that didn't feature Sonichu or himself for a change) in early 2015, for which he received $50. At around the same time, he started making replica [[medallions]], taking commissions, and, a little later, making custom Sonichu Amiibos, all of which sold fairly well on [[eBay]], particularly the medallions.

In [[August 2015]], Chris did what no-one had thought he would - he resumed work on the Sonichu comics, asking for donations in exchange for releasing new pages, at a price of $10 per page. He even redrew some of the old comics to be a [[Chris and anger|little more]] [[Death threats|tasteful]], for example retconning the infamous gory executions of the Asperpedia Four in the original version of [[Sonichu 10]] to banishment to an Amish community and forced marriage. Many on Kiwi Farms applauded his resumption of work on the comics, a move they had long suggested. It was predicted that the comics would be a better earner for Chris than the relatively unsuccessful botched Amiibos; although no-one could have forseen [[Autism|one person paying Chris $1000]] - which translates into 100 pages worth of new Sonichu comics - meaning Chris gets money for toys, weed and hormones, while we get new content, and the pleasure of watching the fallout <s>if</s> when Chris fails to produce that many pages. It should of course go without saying that Chris's merchandise is bought ([[Kenneth Erwin Englehardt|almost]]) exclusively by trolls, Christorians, and the rest of his "fanbase", as the fragile, low-quality crap he churns out has no value to anyone else. All in all, Chris is finally cashing in on his e-fame, which may someday lead to him "making peace" with his tormentors, and recognizing that he has a somewhat symbiotic relationship with them. Which of course, renders white knighting essentially redundant.

Another important point to remember is that Chris's perversions, flaws and constant failure have made his life into something of a cautionary tale to other autistic people, and he has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] of them to self-improvement. Really, no matter how dire his circumstances come to be, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on Facebook and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO|his own self-loathing]].

{{quote|Whatever.|Chris' [[Mailbag_29#Whatever|1-word response]] to a fan leaving him, a social worker concerned about the [[Chris_and_health#Living_conditions|state of his house]], and a fan concerned about [[Chandler_Cats#Kitty|one of his cats]].}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|Chris' [[Mailbag_43#Go_Fuck_Yourself.2C_too.21|response]] to constructive criticism about [[Chris_and_copyright#Chris.27s_views|copyright]].}}

Chris doesn't treat his so-called "fans" much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans, and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His Mailbag is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When, or if, he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] had no audio on it whatsoever. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic, and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them, some less, some more, some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

===Chris's upbringing doesn't justify his actions===
The shitty way [[Borb]] raised him may be an ''explanation'' for why Chris is so fucked up, but it's not an ''excuse''. Plenty of people have bad childhoods, and abusive or incompetent parents. However, these people don't use that as an excuse for whatever bad things they do. As these people get help and move on, Chris, on the other hand, remains dependent on the same people who screwed him up, and doesn't even try to move past his childhood. Instead, he escapes into a world of fantasy and pornography, and when confronted by reality, he will use all the mental gymnastics at his disposal to twist reality to resemble how he wants it to be. There's also the fact that [[Cole Smithey]] grew up in the same household with the same parents, and yet he lives a relatively normal life. Meanwhile, Chris behaves like an overgrown child, draws art on par with that of elementary schoolers, is chronically in trouble with the law for his persistent failure to regulate his own behavior in public, and generally is extremely antisocial.

===Chris's life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him===
Today, Chris is a total human trainwreck, slowly losing the last of his sanity as each day goes by. While the systematic trolling of him throughout the last few years has doubtless contributed to his degrading mental state (especially his extreme paranoia and distrust for almost everyone), the fact still remains that his life's horrible state is mainly caused by factors outside of the internet. He would still be a lonely outcast, as his poor upbringing gave him such warped views of the world and led him to engage in such bizarre behavior that he drove away every person he tried to connect with. He would still be living in unsanitary conditions due to Barb's hoarding and the fact that his house has not been properly cleaned in the better part of a decade. He would still be banned from most of his favorite hangouts due to his loitering and hostile behavior to other patrons. Also, at the core of it all is how Chris decided that he would be better off living off government handouts while he sits around playing with toys and video games instead of getting a job and heading down a career path, which would have been his one-way ticket to escaping the cesspool that is [[14 Branchland Court]] and living a fulfilling life, not unlike that of his half-brother. Instead, he decided to remain dependent on his elderly, emotionally disturbed parents; look how well that's working out for him.

True to his word, Chris all but abandoned the Internet between [[July 2012]] and [[2013]], save for sporadic ramblings on Facebook. Despite this, quite a bit was revealed about how well he was doing independent of troll influence. He [[Other_documents#Epistle_to_the_Wesley_Memorial_United_Methodist_Church|alienated himself from his church]], earning a ban from the new pastor (undoubtedly because Chris wouldn't shut the hell up about the trolls). After being banned, he even dismissed Rocky as an effective counselor (keep in mind that Rocky once bailed him out of jail, which is quite an extraordinary act of kindness, counselor or not), and went so far as to accuse [[Chris and religion|God]] of being a troll. He continues to this day to describe his life as isolated and lonely, with nobody willing to talk to him, a scenario many have tried and failed to warn him about. He even earned some ire from Anna, his biggest white knight for [[Facebook#Gay_Marriage|making anti-homosexual statements]] on his Facebook page, he even chose to argue with her instead of trying to piece together why a lesbian friend of his would find such statements offensive. As a coup de grace on all of this, Chris ended up trolling himself in the grandest fashion by revealing an [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur account]] made of all of his previously hidden Facebook posts, despite trolls (save for the one who started it) being completely in the dark about it.

Even if all of that doesn't convince you for some reason, consider this: Chris came ''this'' close to being thrown in jail on [[28 October 2011]], and it's possible he'll end up there at last with the more recent [[26 December 2014]] incident, both of which involved the assault of innocent retail workers trying to protect their customers from him. Both times, he did this on his own initiative, with no prodding from the trolls. And make no mistake, ''everyone'' was thoroughly disgusted by Chris's actions, none were eager to defend his pepper-spray assault on an innocent employee, even those who helped support his [[Sonic Boom Protests]] before.

If we were to be extraordinarily generous and assume that none of the disasters which have befallen Chris since the trolling efforts began in earnest would otherwise have happened, the facts ''still'' indicate that Chris's life would have been a complete mess. Chris was discovered by the internet at large in late 2007, by which point he had already been suspended from college, and banned from the [[Fashion Square]] (twice), along with his local branches of [[Wal-Mart]] and [[Target]], only avoiding criminal charges for the ruckus he caused at the latter because the state didn't feel it was worth the effort to pursue the case. As recently as two months before the "official" start of the trolling of Chris, he was making death threats against Adam Stackhouse and his preteen sister, for the former's unwitting disruption of Chris's plan to lose his virginity with Megan, something that she had made clear she had no interest in doing. It may be a depressing conclusion to arrive at, but there's never been anything that anyone outside of the confines of 14 Branchland Court could have reasonably done to prevent Chris's life from being a trainwreck.

===Chris's white knights are making him worse===
A quick glance at the comments on his Facebook statuses should confirm this. Even after he ''committed a felony'' by assaulting a GameStop employee with pepper spray on Boxing Day 2014, then posted a long-winded, obviously dishonest tirade painting himself as an innocent victim on Facebook, none of his white knights offered anything more than a softly-worded, mild condemnation of his behavior. [[William Elliott Waterman|Some]] avoided a direct response altogether, and made some barely relevant comment that conspicuously avoided the main point of Chris's self-serving drivel, probably a feeble and misguided attempt to defuse his [[Chris and anger|rage]].

And this is how his white knights react whenever he gets angry about having to face the consequences of his own behavior. It's painfully clear to Chris's trolls and other observers that his white knights are woefully ill-equipped to deal with Chris. The reactions his tantrums garner from them clearly indicate that they remain ignorant (passively or otherwise) to facts that most learned long ago; namely, that the "soft touch" has never worked with Chris, and only serves to reinforce his [[Chris and reality|belief]] that [[Chris and his Ego|he should be given whatever he desires]] (he is even openly stating that he is ''entitled'' to a girlfriend), and allowed to do as he pleases, while [[Barbara Chandler|others]] shield him from the [[Chris and the Law|negative repercussions]].

Chris's white knights also habitually feed Chris's belief that his trolls are subhuman bullies who simply want to see him destroyed in every conceivable way because he's such a special, brave little boy. While this is arguably [[A-Logging|true of]] [[Weening|some]], for the most part, Chris's trolls are just as interested in seeing Chris improve himself as white knights are, if not moreso, even if many are beginning to doubt such a thing is possible. Indeed, many of the female troll personas who "date" or "befriend" Chris have tried to help him see the error of his ways and reform, and continue to do so. It is partially due to the influence of Chris's white knights, who foolishly (and often futilely) try to root out these trolls, that these attempts to help Chris never result in lasting, positive change on his part.

In short, most of Chris's white knights are attention whores, sycophants or both. To these people, going on a witch-hunt for trolls is preferable to actually trying to help Chris, something which, ironically, even Chris's trolls continue to try to do.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

===White Knights on YouTube===

Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and Panda. She also released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the [[CWCville Library]]'s original curator, Arjen Van Dierten.

On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends, forgetting the fact that BlueSpike ''has no friends''.

===White Knights on Facebook===

In recent times (since 2012), Chris has taken to using Facebook as his main means of expressing himself. Inevitably, this has not only attracted the attention of trolls, but, in 2013, a slew of White Knights as well, in particular, a [[William Elliott Waterman]], who taunted the trolls to come after him instead of Chris ('''Spoiler:''' Nobody did, because nobody actually cared what he had to say). Anna and [[Kim]] are two of the most notable ones on his friends list, both of whom try to offer constructive advice whenever Chris nosedives into a rant...when they're not busy kissing his ass, especially in the case of Anna.

However, as we've come to expect of Chris, anybody who tells him something he doesn't want to hear are people that needed to be brushed off until they stop saying those mean, awful things to him. A good case in point is his [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart|anger-laced tirade in September 2013, when he got thrown out of Walmart and started calling names]]. The white knights typically chimed in with their support...''until'' he revealed that he [[Chris and the law|vandalized]] an Xbox One display in the store. Several of them then told Chris that this was not right of him to do, and that the manager had every right to throw him out. His response to that?

{{quote|They do not.
And if they do, they are most in the wrong, [[Chris and reality|because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever]].|- Chris's response to Chris Rhodes}}

===White Knights in Real Life===

Aside from the most obvious example, an old classmate of Chris from [[Manchester High School]] came online and attempted to defend Chris. Once [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|certain details]] became known, however, said classmate quickly backpedaled on this once he realized that the majority of [[CWCki|what happened]] was Chris' own fault.

===TV Tropes===
The TV Tropes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Sonichu article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. It was eventually removed due to TV Tropes' website policy changing later on--in other words, said message would no longer be allowed on the website. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, the editor in question fails to realize that their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]]

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any old e-friend can reach Chris at this point and change him for the better, certainly not by continuing to ass-pat and pamper him, which is precisely what fucked him up so badly in the first place (as this wiki evidences copiously). Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls, for daring to tell him anything he does not want to hear. With each new incident he causes, it is increasingly obvious that little short of [[Chris and psychology|professional intervention]], the [[Chris and religion|intercession of]] [[GodJesus]], or a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|horrifyingly close brush with death]] will change him.

Though the trolls have certainly tried to be a positive influence on Chris, even they are now largely admitting that Chris is well beyond our aid. They have spent years trying to pierce Chris's many insulating layers of self-deceit, egotism and sheer stubbornness. It is worth bearing in mind that it is these people, not the white knights, that are the closest thing he has to friends, and that some of them have been at this for nearly a decade. They ''know'' him, and if they can't make Chris change, what on earth makes you think you can?

To conclude, with Chris's paranoia, detachment from reality, outlandish behavior and bellicosity all becoming steadily more severe, and with interventions by trolls and white knights alike failing, the best we can hope for is that Chris causes [[26 December 2014|some sort of trouble]] that leads to him receiving the help he needs.

==See also==
*[[A-Logging]]
*[[Weening]]
*[[White knight E-mails]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Julie Reveals Herself

2017-07-09T00:32:18Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Summary */

'''Julie Reveals Herself''' is a [[Mumble]] chat that occurred on 3 [[March 2009]], and is easily one of the most infamous events of [[trolling]] in the [[CWC]]hronology. In this chat, [[Chris]] is basically locked up in an hour-long torture session with [[BlueSpike]], who poses as [[Julie]]'s fake brother, [[Max]]. After being deceived by him [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel|earlier in the day]], Chris crosses paths with him one last time later that night. Max continued his onslaught on the manchild; he threatened to sell Chris's [[PlayStation Network]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4chan]] as well as [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. He also threatened to send [[Julie]] back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the [[Cakefarts|cake]] was when Max made Chris cut up his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After all was said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him...

==Summary==
* It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, even they were disgusted and horrified at how far BlueSpike took it. Because of this, the following day, an explosive troll war took place on ED because of BlueSpike's actions. (See BlueSpike's article for more information.)
* BlueSpike, posing as Max, tauntingly greets a grumpy Chris. He asks Chris why he's "down in the dumps", which he explains it's because "Max" is holding his hacked PSN and Yahoo! accounts ransom, saying that he can either choose between having his account back or being with Julie.
* Blue repeatedly insults and taunts Chris multiple times, threatening to sell his PSN on eBay, give all the proceeds to 4chan and ED, and overall purposely making him angry.
* After making him dance for his amusement, Blue tells Chris to put on his [[medallion]]. He says he will give him his PSN if he burns and [[Mass debating|jizzes]] on the medallion, but can't have Julie at the same time; he tells Chris if he doesn't comply, he will send Julie back to Europe. Chris hesitates, not only because he doesn't have anything to light up the medallion, but because he doesn't know what "jizz" means.
* Thus, Blue makes Chris say "Billy Mays is the new mayor of CWCville, and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers." Chris hesitantly and lethargicly repeated the line as ordered, but instead said "[[niggos]]" in place of the N word, as his creativity was under vein and he didn't want to say it (instead of doing some else, as listed on the "niggos" page). Blue has him say the word anyway, and he gets the "hang" of it before Blue cusses him out for it.
* Blue orders him again to jizz on the medallion, explaining to him it requires [[mass debating]]. Chris says he can't get a hard-on while under [[stress]], so Blue orders him to burn the medallion, and in a rather sociopathic way screams he wants to see Chris actually get hurt. Chris goes quiet for a good while. Blue then says he can either choose to burn the medallion, or cut it up into pieces and shove it up his ass. Chris, seeing there's no way out, takes the latter choice.
* While Chris is busy preparing to cut the pieces to put into his ass, Blue taunts him by saying he's bringing over a black friend of his to come watch Chris, requesting him to record and take pictures of himself. Much to Blue's delight, Chris actually goes through with the requests, and is so stressed his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal leakage]] kicks in. The other trolls on Mumble are so disgusted with what Blue is doing that they repeatedly tell him to stop. Ignoring them at first while continuing to mock Chris, Blue eventually tells Chris he can stop trying to put the pieces in his ass. He attempts to leave to wash his fecal-covered hands, but Blue tells him to stay put.
* Blue seemingly runs out of ideas on the next thing to make Chris do. He tries to continue tormenting him, but this bothers the other trolls. Instead, he decides to have Chris log onto the Mumble so he can speak with "Julie", as at this point he had been speaking to Blue on a different software. Chris spends over 10 literal minutes trying to get a microphone working and logging onto Mumble, but eventually succeeds.
* Chris finally gets to talk to Julie. She reveals to him she is nothing more than Max/BlueSpike in disguise, telling him all this time Chris had been engaging in cybersex with a 13-year-old boy, who had been talking nearly in his normal voice while pretending to be a girl. This doesn't quite get the reaction Blue expected from Chris; while Chris was certainly disappointed, trying to say he didn't know Max was 13 while cybering with Julie, he was more so apathetic to what happened, seeing as this isn't the first (and was ''far'' from the last) time Chris was tricked into being in a relationship with a fake woman.
* Blue tells Chris to send him the video footage of him shoving the medallion up his ass. Chris reveals he lied and didn't videotape anything when that happened, refusing to do it all over again. In response, Blue gets Clyde to come out and talk to Chris. Clyde, annoyed himself over the whole ordeal, simply decides to tell Chris in a straightforward manner that there are no actual fans of ''Sonichu'', that there is far more to life than his [[PS3]], and that he needs to spend more time outdoors socializing than sitting on his ass all day indoors. Chris doesn't take his advice, and leaves the call totally defeated.
* Blue and the others reflect on what they did to Chris. After a while of them chattering over each other, a female troll asks if she can stop recording the Mumble, and after they give her the green light, does so.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Julie Reveals Herself
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Aq9Lepe1xjs}}
| Stardate = 3 [[March 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]], [[BlueSpike]], [[Clyde]]
| Saga = {{Julie|text}}
}} </center>

==Transcript==
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===
'''Max:''' [''tape begins with very low quality''] Ready? [''The sound of the trolls voices can be heard, but very faintly. The audio then becomes more audible as Max begins his onslaught on Chris.''] Christian Chandler, hello!
 '''Chris:''' Hello.
 '''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?
 '''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.
 '''Max:''' WHY? Tell me!
 '''Chris:''' Because you stole my PSN, you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.
 '''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.
 '''Chris:''' --icked Julie.
 '''Max:''' Chris...
 '''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.
 '''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.
 '''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba--what you say?
 '''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.
 '''Chris:''' I want Julie.
 '''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]!
 '''Chris:''' [''makes constipated grunts'']
 '''Max:''' [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump...oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragon Ball Z|Super Saiyan]]! You're not mad, you pathetic ''wimp.''
 '''Chris:''' [''another angry constipated sound'']
 '''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you [[A message to the Trolls|smack the webcam around some]]? You're a bitch! You're not going to get my sister that way.
 '''Chris:''' [''[[sigh]]''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get--you want me to get angry, I got angry.
 '''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a--you're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no.
 '''Max:''' No. It's going on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!
 '''Max:''' Yes! eBay!
 '''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.
 '''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay...eBay...
 '''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.
 '''Max:''' Why should I stop?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']
 '''Max:''' Why should I stop?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.
 '''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?
 '''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']
 '''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm not--no, no, no. No.
 '''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' Say "[[Christian's Update 13 September 2008|buh bye bay nose]]".
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?
 '''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[homo]]."
 '''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.
 '''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...
 '''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!
 '''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Either--then say it louder.
 '''Chris:''' [''screams''] {{RageQuote|I!!! AM A HOMO!!!}}
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.
 '''Chris:''' No! No, no!
 '''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.
 '''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!
 '''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.
 '''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRAAGHHH {{RageQuote|YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!!!}}
 '''Max:''' [''breathing during fits of laughter''] Aw, and you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']
 '''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild--are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna--you're, you're just--uou just really are dumb. It--it's going on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' NO! No! No!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.
 '''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.
 '''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You stop.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' Stop.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' Stop!
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' {{RageQuote|STOOOOOP!!!}}
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?
 '''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—
 '''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry...and I'm putting it on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.
 '''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your fangs?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.
 '''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. [''thunks twice''] eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.
 '''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!
 '''Max:''' Start auction...
 '''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?
 '''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the pi--uh...
 '''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme--gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it--]]
 '''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN 'cause you picked Julie.
 '''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—
 '''Max:''' Start auction...
 '''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.
 '''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! Thousand dollar worth PSN.
 '''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!
 '''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.
 '''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.
 '''Max:''' Starting bid...a hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.
 '''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!
 '''Max:''' I can have it?
 '''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!
 '''Max:''' Okay!
 '''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just...[''clap''] just LEAVE IT OFF OF EBAY, PLEASE!
 '''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.
 '''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.
 '''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—
 '''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!
 '''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?
 '''Max:''' What? I think it's like an 80-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...
 '''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than 80 gigabytes, [[Adult Swim#King of the Hill|I'll tell you what]].
 '''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?
 '''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Let's see...I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.
 '''Chris:''' No. No. No.
 '''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']
 '''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You--you--you keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—
 '''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.
 '''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.
 '''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!
 '''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?
 '''Chris:''' [''screaming'']
 '''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to 4-cent-garbage! And Encyclopedia Dramatica. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that, they're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.
 '''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.
 '''Max:''' Donation: 1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!
 '''Chris:''' [''getting louder and whinier''] No, just stop, just stooooop!
 '''Max:''' How--yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell--why don't you wake the dead with your howling...come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.
 '''Chris:''' [''yells''] {{RageQuote|AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!}}
 '''Max:''' You--you yell like a pussy.
 '''Chris:''' [''yells''] {{RageQuote|AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!}}
 '''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.
 '''Chris:''' [''yells''] {{RageQuote|AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!}}
 '''Max:''' Uh oh, I won't like you when you're mad! Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.
 '''Chris:''' Alright...
 '''Max:''' Suck my dick.
 '''Chris:''' How can I do you--how can I do yours when you're all the way over there?
 '''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS dick. I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].
 '''Chris:''' Aaaaah...please, don't be--don't be such a meanie.
 '''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"?! Fuck YOU! Suck your manager's dick.
 '''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.
 '''Max:''' Listen to what?
 '''Chris:''' Max--Max, you are a great being. You are--you're a humble person. Please, I'm only a lowly--I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.
 '''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha...uh...what...uh...
 '''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.
 '''Max:''' Sh...sh...SHUT UP! You can have--you can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.
 '''Chris:''' But listen, I—
 '''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself--I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!
 '''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you--stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].
 '''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] What the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you
[[So Need a Cute Girl#Live performance|grabbed your crotch]], that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No!
 '''Max:''' Yes!
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, $1,000-worth PSN account hacked...I'm going to start the bid at $500.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.
 '''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?
 '''Max:''' It's gone.
 '''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—
 '''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|the cat crap you slip on]]. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===
'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' No...
 '''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries...NO!!! NO, NO!!! DON'T!!! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedofffork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...
 '''Chris:''' Nothing was actu--
 '''Max:''' Don't...
 '''Chris:''' Nothing was actually exposed.
 '''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just--just don't.
 '''Chris:''' Fine.
 '''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.
 '''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh--selling--selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.
 '''Max:''' Well, it's going on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.
 '''Max:''' It's going on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' You cross that line...
 '''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woohoo!
 '''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.
 '''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up--
 '''Max:''' No. It's--it's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you...oh! That's the [[Fapcup|cup]] from [[Target]], isn't it?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' What is it then?
 '''Chris:''' It's the--it's a [[McDonald's]] TEA cup!
 '''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some [[Manboobs|man-tits]] going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for $1.
 '''Chris:''' Wait. What?
 '''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.

===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===
'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' I actually...I'm not gonna send Julie over there anyway. I'm not gonna help her to see you.
 '''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y--we had an agreement. I picked Julie!
 '''Max:''' Really?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.
 '''Chris:''' No! You--you help her over here...
 '''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.
 '''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...
 '''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm--I'm begging, I'm begging you--I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please--
 '''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' How about, Chris--
 '''Chris:''' I throw myself--I throw myself on your mercy, please.
 '''Max:''' I can't even see you.
 '''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.
 '''Max:''' Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man!
 '''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling and rustling sounds'']
 '''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like...Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?
 '''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].

===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===
'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your medallion?
 '''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.
 '''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or--no, no, no. I'm not going to give you that...uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.
 '''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—
 '''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.
 '''Chris:''' I might--
 '''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.
 '''Chris:''' What about Julie?
 '''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.
 '''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.
 '''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...
 '''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want--I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' Jizz?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that Billy Mays is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?
 '''Max:''' Oh, "what does 'jizz' mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly--really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. [''claps twice''] Can you do this? Say that Billy Mays is the Mayor of CWCville.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.
 '''Chris:''' [''confused''] Billy Mays?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, Billy Mays. Say it.
 '''Chris:''' Who the hell is he?
 '''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN! [''long pause''] Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can. [''more silence''] Come on, [[autism]] metal block!! What--what the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.
 '''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.
 '''Chris:''' Go ahead.
 '''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===
'''Max:''' Chris, do what I want, or I'm not going to send Julie over there. How about that?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' That's a good boy.
 '''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.
 '''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "Billy Mays is the new Mayor of CWCville!" [''pause''] Come on. Do it!
 '''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] Billy Mays is the new Mayor of CWCville.
 '''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy!
 '''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] Billy Mays is the new Mayor of CWCville.
 '''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.
 '''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS THE NEW MAYER OF CWCVILLE!
 '''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail!" CWCville Jail.
 '''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.
 '''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.
 '''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of [[niggos]].
 '''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.
 '''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]
 '''Max:''' Louder.
 '''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.
 '''Chris:''' Don't...[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|don't trust them new niggers over there]].
 '''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it...no, no, no, no, no. Mass debate on it first, then burn it.
 '''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...
 '''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!
 '''Max:''' Well, I know--I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.
 '''Chris:''' No!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!
 '''Chris:''' Just the opposite!
 '''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh--yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.
 '''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.
 '''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.
 '''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT, THU--THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!
 '''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']
 '''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.
 '''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT--{{RageQuote|YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!}}
 '''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your--you're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt, ah, ah, [[wikipedia:What What (In the Butt)|what, what, in the butt]]?!

===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===
'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.
 '''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.
 '''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] [[A-Logging|I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!!]] Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating autistics, it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next 5 seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. [''silence''] 5...4...3...2...1. Alright there, I guess...hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me. [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no! [''normal voice''] Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic! Before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [''silence''] [[Jerk]]. I mean, you ''are'' a jerk.
 '''Chris:''' [''rustling'']

===Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20)===
'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have 5 seconds before I fucking send my, uh--you have 5 seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe. 5...4...321--OH! Too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me, Chris, I have to tell you one thing first. You have an alternative. [''Chris is rustling''] Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Now, you have an alternative: either burn it ''or'' shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?
 '''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.
 '''Max:''' You're gonna...you're going to shove it up your butt?
 '''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative...that's just about as good as one or the other.
 '''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.
 '''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.
 '''Chris:''' You're going to see this.
 '''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the--what are you going to show me? No, no, no, no. If you burn it, I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it, I'll send Julie back to Europe...don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't do it.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.
 '''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your--
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt...But I have to divide it.
 '''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!
 '''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, and don't— And don't take it out, just shove it up until...do it in a video.
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']
 '''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!
 '''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']
 '''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing'']
 '''Max:''' Actually, Chris--Chris, no, no, no. I decided--yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky. You have to cut it up first. So yeah, you can pull your pants right up.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh—
 '''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.
 '''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...
 '''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.
 '''Chris:''' Terrible.
 '''Max:''' How does it feel?
 '''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.
 '''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."
 '''Chris:''' Heartless.
 '''Max:''' Oh, ''me''? ''I'm'' heartless?
 '''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.
 '''Max:''' Oh, you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help. Call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.
 '''Chris:''' Ya fucking douchebag!
 '''Max:''' [''A [[Patti Chandler|dog]] goes "AWOWOWOWOWO!" in the background''] You suck. You suck...nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know. I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes". I'll call him. Hey, Darnell. Darnell, come over here.
 '''Chris:''' No. I said no!
 '''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!
 '''Chris:''' I said NO!!!
 '''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm— I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.
 '''Chris:''' I said— I said— I said NO!!!
 '''Max:''' No you didn't, I— I heard yes. Darnell— Darnell, I think he said "yes". He said "yes", Darnell. Yes.
 '''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!
 '''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt. Whatever. Darnell's going to watch, though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']
 '''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this. Also, while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.
 '''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']
 '''Max:''' Alright, fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.
 '''Max:''' So wait, you're recording this, too?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it AND you're showing it live? Really?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']
 '''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, we saw you cu— The camera saw you cutting?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' Alright, that's...wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt. Can you say one thing?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?
 '''Max:''' After you do this, yes.
 '''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?
 '''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."
 '''Chris:''' Up my ass.
 '''Max:''' Up your ass.
 '''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.
 '''Max:''' Hey, Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!", okay? You have to do this, or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there, and while you do it, say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man. It's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh, God, it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?
 '''Chris:''' ...Maybe.
 '''Max:''' No, no, really? Tell me the— Tell me the truth. Did you?
 '''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]
 '''Max:''' Whatever, just— Just— Yeah, just— Put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh...goodness. This is... Just—
Just— Just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long, please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up. Shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE!!! Yes, yes. Please! Please, do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?
 '''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.
 '''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.
 '''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']
 '''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.
 '''Max:''' How miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Totally miserable.
 '''Max:''' Oh, really?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!
 '''Chris:''' [''grunting'']
 '''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']
 '''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']
 '''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just— Just— Just shut up. Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?
 '''Max:''' I said shut up. Don't— Don't even ruin Chewbacca.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err! Oh, God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.
 '''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE!!! NO. MORE.
 '''Chris:''' [''groan'']
 '''Max:''' Brown-Stain Sonichu, with the power to cha—
 '''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']
 '''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.
 '''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']
 '''Troll 2:''' BlueSpike, stop that shit.
 '''Troll 3:''' This is awful.
 '''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']
 '''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.
 '''Max:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.
 '''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.
 '''Troll:''' BlueSpike, stop this shit.
 '''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']
 '''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.
 '''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.
 '''Chris:''' Stop?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, sure.
 '''Chris:''' [''groan'']
 '''Max:''' Don't take 'em out, though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.
 '''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.
 '''Chris:''' One second.
 '''Troll:''' Blue, let him...
 '''Max:''' Yo, Chris, this is what I strive for. Watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing, now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.
 '''Troll:''' God''dam''mit, BlueSpike. God ''damn''.
 '''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.
 '''Chris:''' Be right back. Excuse me.
 '''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?
 '''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!
 '''Max:''' No, no, no. You can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands, I will not send Julie to Europe.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.
 '''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?
 '''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!
 '''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.

===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===
'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.
 '''Max:''' Really? How terrible?
 '''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.
 '''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?
 '''Chris:''' No, this is enough.
 '''Max:''' No, no, no, no. You're not the one making the choices.
 '''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.
 '''Max:''' Chris, how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...
 '''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—
 '''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots, you fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do? What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?
 '''Chris:''' What do ''I'' want to do?
 '''Max:''' Yeah— No, no, no. I mean, what ''could'' you do that might amuse me?
 '''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...?
 '''Max:''' I have a good idea, Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Actually, I just thought of something.
 '''Max:''' No, no. I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't— I told you, I can't— I could not find any matches at this time.
 '''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the— Go to the store and get some matches then.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"
 '''Max:''' No! Shut up, just shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up! Shut the FUCK up! I have a good idea: burn your house down.
 '''Troll:''' Goddammit, you idiot!
 '''Chris:''' No, [[Destruction_Of_Chris%27s_House|I'm not going to burn my house down.]]
 '''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.
 '''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.
 '''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down, then we— Then she won't have a place to come ''to''.
 '''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris, there is something— There is something...
 '''Troll:''' BlueSpike. Stop it.

===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===
'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]]. Julie's going to talk to you there, it's important.
 '''Troll:''' Ten points.
 '''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.
 '''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...
 '''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—
 '''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there!
 '''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—
 '''Max:''' Then use the PSEye, that's the only chance you have.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not— I'm gonna tell Julie. I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure it's you.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.
 '''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.
 '''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[PSEye]], get the PSEye...
 '''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.
 '''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.
 '''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.
 '''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PSEye if you don't shut up.
 '''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.
 '''Max:''' You better, or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.
 '''Chris:''' No. Just...sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PSEye. Alright?
 '''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure that it works before you come in Mumble.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' You're a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find— I'm just trying to...do a— I've just proven I can do most anything for my true love.
 '''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin'— Alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']
 '''Max:''' There we go.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.
 '''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.
 '''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?
 '''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it, anyway. [''At 41:31, you can hear what vaguely sounds like "[[wikipedia:Have I Told You Lately|Have I Told You Lately]]" by [[I Gotta Make My Move|Rod Stewart]], meaning that what's on the TV is likely [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeVybJmtMFA this infomercial from Time-Life]''] Alright, I'm tryin' for you— Tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing— I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.
 '''Max:''' Does it work?
 '''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware. It's waiting to find software for this hardware.
 '''Max:''' Software for the hardware?
 '''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said: software for the hardware.
 '''Max:''' Yes...
 '''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.
 '''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work: the ''Hey You, Pikachu!'' mike.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?
 '''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works?
 '''Chris:''' At this time, I do not.
 '''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Chris? Chris!
 '''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?
 '''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to turn my chair around so I can turn the volume down on the radio!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could— It could fall on to me any second!
 '''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?
 '''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]
 '''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the— I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!
 '''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' There.
 '''Chris:''' Fine.
 '''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' Apology accepted?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.
 '''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here! I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.
 '''Chris:''' I'm working on it!
 '''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!
 '''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!
 '''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?
 '''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!
 '''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?
 '''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!
 '''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.
 '''Chris:''' Hold on a second.
 '''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.
 '''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...
 '''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio Wizard?
 '''Chris:''' I got something working.
 '''Max:''' What would that be?
 '''Chris:''' A mike.
 '''Max:''' So, it's working?
 '''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.
 '''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.

===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===
'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.
 '''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi. I'm gonna put my earphones on.
 '''Julie:''' Hi.
 '''Clyde:''' Hey!
 '''BlueSpike:''' Hey.
 '''Julie:''' Um, Chris...
 '''Chris:''' Julie?
 '''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while...
 '''Chris:''' Yes?
 '''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, uh, go ahead and tell me now.
 '''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.
 '''Chris:''' C'mon, please?
 '''Julie:''' No. I can't.
 '''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you just now.
 '''Julie:''' Why, what happened?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.
 '''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.
 '''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?
 '''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?
 '''Female Troll:''' Blue, he's not there.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Fuuuuck!
 '''Troll:''' Give him some time.
 '''Julie:''' Chris...
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I-I came back now, I won— I wonder what happened there.
 '''Julie:''' I don't know, but this is... Can you talk with the [[fans]] for, like, 5 minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...
 '''Julie:''' Actually, no. No, I'm ready to tell you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been... having sex with a 13-year-old boy, you sick fuck!
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a 13-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' pedofork, so you better get the fuck out now—
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:'''—before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now, wait a minute—
 '''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.
 '''Chris:''' I did not— I did not know you were a 13-year-old.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll lea—
 '''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now— No, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait. Now, I'm— Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip. Now, I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.
 '''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?
 '''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?
 '''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died 5 years ago. Who have you been talking to? A BOY! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... Yes, please do speak.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?
 '''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a 13-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.
 '''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.
 '''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.
 '''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?
 '''Chris:''' I feel terrible.
 '''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you— If you really want your self-dignity... If you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' So, what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?
 '''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this. I take a—
 '''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait. First of all. Clyde?
 '''Clyde:''' What up?
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was - I expected a bit more of a shitstorm - that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.
 '''Clyde:''' Whatever.
 '''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] a [[boyfriend-free girl]]? Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.
 '''Clyde:''' Hello, hello, Chris. On that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone. We were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.
 '''BlueSpike:''' There ''was'', but she died.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she's real— She actually is in Ohio, but...
 '''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris. About the wildfires I told you about, I truly was the one who started them.
 '''Clyde:''' Okay. Now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy. I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...
 '''Chris:''' I thought— I thought she— I thought...
 '''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.
 '''Chris:''' You just sound— I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no. Shut the fuck up and let me talk to him. Shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want? Do you want your PSN back?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?
 '''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.
 '''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay. I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?
 '''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow, but it was all fake. It was all, all fake.
 '''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...
 '''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker Shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no ''Sonichu'' fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?
 '''Chris:''' I'm listening.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...
 '''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times. What is this, the ninth time so far?
 '''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.
 '''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever. [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie. You disgust me...
 '''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account, you fucking dick!"
 '''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your— What's left of your fans, at least...
 '''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?
 '''Chris:''' I'm not crying!
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.
 '''Chris:''' I am not!
 '''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike. You're a little too mean... Well, whatever.
 '''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris. I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?
 '''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also... Oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...
 '''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times... And you still believed...
 '''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Goodbye. [''hangs up'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.
 '''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.
 '''Female Troll:''' Can I...stop the recording now?
 [''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|''Duke Nukem'']] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".'']
 '''Female Troll:''' Stop, stop, stop, stop...!
 '''Troll:''' Ballsballsballsballsballsballs.
 '''Female Troll:''' Can I stop recording?
 [''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?75fhxy3n9yc1662 MP3 of the audio.]
*[http://db.tt/iDXSR3LV Mirror of MP3]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Julie Saga]]

Butt garments

2017-07-09T00:31:42Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}

'''Butt garments''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for diapers, which are used to prevent [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] (or [[Wikipedia:fecal leakage|fecal leakage]], where one unintentionally shits themselves). He most likely calls them "butt garments" to avoid the embarrassment of wearing diapers, despite the fact that he desperately needs them. Chris hated the idea of wearing diapers, and made multiple attempts to throw out the diapers before [[Barb]] caught on and hid them away in her room.<ref>[[Ivy_Q%26A#Cheating|Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

==Discovery==
On 16 [[April 2009]], images of Chris in diapers [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|leaked]], with a special shout-out to spas from [[Sonichu (IRC channel)|#sonichu]]. Chris later stated in [[ECV 00095]] that the butt garments were sent to him by a [[troll]]. According to [[Ivy]]'s ghost, Barbara mistook them for samples of adult diapers sent by Chris's doctor, who had been trying to convince Chris to start wearing them.

After Ivy found out that Chris was cheating on him with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], one of her friends suggested that he take the photos below to apologize to Ivy. The front reads "TOO HOT FOR COLLECTION," in case you don't want to stare at it for too long. This appears to have been the last time they were ever mentioned. Presumably, they are still sitting around Barbara's bedroom.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Ecp00063.jpg
Image:HelloSpas.jpg
Image:Ecp00065.jpg
Image:Ecp00066.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]
*[[Chris and health]]

==References==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

JERKS

2017-07-09T00:31:04Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Use as a denominator */

{{Quote|Well, I do not like the majority of the male population regardless. The straight ones take the women away. The damn [[homo]] males not only [tried to push their gross ways onto me, but have emotionally and mentally devastated me in their shit [[Troll]]/Cyber-Bully ways, and they have mislabeled me and [[Sonichu]] as such. Damned males piss me the hell off.|Chris, in a [[Facebook]] post}}

[[Image:Getting Aquainted Chemistry Class.jpg|thumb|left|Notice how Chris refrained from asking any JERKS---including himself.]]

'''JERK''' is [[Chris]]'s term for men in general, including those who are not [[niggos]], [[homos]], or [[jerkop|jerkops]]. The canonical definition is "a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]]"<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref>

For example, Chris labeled every single one of his male [[MySpace]] friends as a jerk in his personal list. A few "respectable males" are apparently exempt from jerk status, such as [[George W. Bush]] and [[Barack Obama]] (and possibly [[Congrats, Jack Black|Jack Black]]).

One reason is the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]].

In more recent years, he's taken to using the word "male" in the place of jerk to express his disdain for other men. His recent [[Tomgirl Saga|transgender antics]] also suggests that he has a lot of self hatred about being male.

==Use as a denominator==
Although he has defined the term "jerk" to mean all men save him and his father, the usage of the term seems to apply to any person who gets in the way of Chris doing something that he wants to do. If Chris wants [[china]] and can't get it because the object of his affection has a significant other, that significant other is a jerk. Chris wanted to win the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], but [[Adam Stackhouse]] got in the way, therefore he is a jerk — allegedly because he broke the rules of the contest and used music, actually because he spoiled Chris's plans for sex with [[Megan Schroeder]]. Whether your intention was to obstruct Chris's efforts or not, you are a jerk for presenting a barrier to his goal.

Even being more talented than Chris, or more socially well-adjusted (no great feat, considering Chris) is enough to make one a jerk in [[The Creepy Stare|Chris's eyes]]. Men with girlfriends did not specifically intend to cock-block Chris; they only did what well-adjusted people do and asked out a girl they liked. Adam Stackhouse simply made a good video for a competition he wanted to win and had no intention of thwarting an autistic's plans to seduce his best friend (again, the ''PaRappa'' Showdown). In Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|self-centered]] way of thinking, though, [[Kick the Autistic|they were all out to get him]].

==Use as a prefix/suffix==
Chris derides certain professions by using "jerk" as a prefix (as with [[Jerkop]]) or a suffix (as with [[Manajerk]]). The addition of the prefix/suffix comes from their actions which, again, prevented Chris from getting what he wanted. Never mind the fact that managers and police officers are simply doing their job when they stop creepy patrons from [[Attraction sign|soliciting members of the public for sex]]. They have obstructed his quest for [[china]] and so are jerks. Due to [[Chris and the Law|repeated encounters]] with these professions, Chris has taken to describing any member of their ranks as a jerk.

==Varying usage==
Despite the fact that Chris has openly declared that '''all''' men are jerks, in practice he doesn't seem to automatically apply the term to every man he meets. [[Robert Simmons V]] was held in some regard before he turned troll against Chris. [[Joseph Herring]] was considered a high school friend (although Chris drew him as an ugly, zit-scarred freak in his comic). Chris considered [[Joshua Martinez]] a friend (though he still tried to get [[ED]] to ruin him) as long as he thought Josh would help him score some china. John Schroeder, [[Megan]]'s brother, was even the main character in one of Chris's fake [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|video games]]. Once again, however, that was probably a side-effect of Chris's lust for Megan.

==Chris as the embodiment of JERK==
[[wikipedia|Wiktionary]] defines a [[wiktionary:jerk|jerk]] as "a person with [[Chris and anger|unlikable]] or [[Chris and his Ego|obnoxious]] [[Chris and race|qualities]] and [[Women's rights|behavior]], [[Death threats|typically]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|mean]], [[Christian Love Day (video)|self-centered]] or [[List of places that have banned Chris|disagreeable]], and [[Honor roll|often not very intelligent]]." Ironically, or perhaps better put, [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritically]], Chris's actions make him more deserving of the term "jerk" than most people he applies it to.

==The list of males Chris doesn't hate==
The most recent version of T.L.O.M.C.D.H. was provided in [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|Chris's annotations to his ED article]]. There it goes as follows:
# [[Chris]] himself
# [[Bob Chandler|His father]]
# "[[Santa Clause]]" [sic]
# [[Jesus]]
# [[God]]
# The [[George W. Bush|former]] [[Barack Obama|Presidents of the United States]]
# [[Molvanîa|All the World Leaders]]
# ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present.

However, in the same [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|annotations]], Chris confusingly states that his [[noviophobia]] is "Out-Of-Date". He goes on to say that he only hates trolls and "da haytahs" now, but also states that he is cool with the "Hating 99% of the World's Men" theory. In any case, the list is at least applicable to ''some'' point in Chris's biography, even if he [[Lies|"got over it."]]

==References==
<references />

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Barbara Chandler

2017-07-09T00:26:40Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Early life */

{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend finding yourself a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She threatens to kill me in her episode of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Barb 2016.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age {{Age|1941|10|1}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-1963) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1955) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Otto died in 1958, after falling from a horse-drawn wagon.<ref>http://genealogytrails.com/vir/charlotte/obits_w.html</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on [[January 2012|January 30th, 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.

Barb grew up in Red Oak, Virginia, and graduated from Randolph-Henry [[High School]] in Charlotte Court House, Virginia in 1960. While there, she was treasurer of her school's chapter of the Future Homemakers of America, a member of the Randolph-Henry bus patrol, a typist for her school yearbook, "The Log", and a member of the Spanish Club. She was also a member of many other school organizations, suggesting that she was very involved in extracurricular activities while in high school. She was also known for her perfect attendance record from her sophomore through her senior years of high school.

According to her senior yearbook, her nickname in high school was Bobcat, possibly due to [[Obesity|her figure]].

Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived [[Aunt Corrina]].<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref> It is not clear whether Chris meant to say that after Corrina's death all the Westons started hating him and his mother, or alternatively that by the time of Corrina's death no Weston other than her had a cordial relationship with Chris and Barb. Regardless of how this statement should be interpreted, it appears that Barbara's relationship with rest of her extended family is strained.

==Cole and his various fathers==
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The use of "scurrilous" in this statement makes no sense, suggesting [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] tries to use [[Chris and Health|big]] words to impress people - [[Laughs Under Lucricities|a family trait]], perhaps.

===Jack Dale Smithey===
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref name="coleemail2" />

In 1995, Cole's friend syndicated cartoonist [[Wikipedia:Ted_Rall|Ted Rall]] made an Internet post questioning the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

===Ran Coleman Yeatts===
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, which [[Cole Smithy|Cole]] later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child. <ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce
</gallery></center>

===Jerry Harmon===
Jerry Harmon is Barbara's former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

==Marriage with Bob==
[[File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|thumb|1980 6 7 - Borb's marriage license]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|left|She never was much of a looker.]]
According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

On September 1992, Chris and Bob moved from Ruckserville to Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> Barbara did not accompany them, but rather stayed in their old home. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement, and that she still visited Bob and Chris on every weekend during the time she lived separately from them. After going into retirement when Chris was in the eighth grade (in early 1996), Barbara came to live with her husband and son in Chesterfield.<ref>[[Mailbag 32#Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes]]</ref><ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>

==Treatment of Chris==

===Abuse and manipulation===
{{quote|And he told me of mom saying she was going to pack up and leave the house, then I ran downstairs, finding her on the couch; she was soo miserable and sad; she talked of Wanting to Die, "you don't even have to change my clothes, you can just bury me in what I have on." I was soo sad and crying and soo sorry for the way I misbehaved; we hugged and made up a bit.|An example of how Barb manipulated her adult son into cancelling his plans to attend Magfest, a video game convention.<ref>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3|Borb vs Magfest]]</ref>}}

It appears that Chris's diet doesn't worry Barb. In the night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and hasn't made a meal for Chris since then. <ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

Barb has often used suicide threats to guilt Chris into obeying her whims.

When Bob and Chris tried to discuss cleaning the hoard to Barb, she responded by threatening suicide.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-1-12-skylanders-imaginators-leader-christine-w-chandler-random-review-n-stuff.27570/page-9#post-2020225 </ref>

During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might commit suicide, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

In an episode from 2011, she forbade Chris from attending Magfest, by claiming that she would pack up and leave the house, and later that she wanted to die. After Chris folded and went to his room to cry about it, she gave him a "half-payment of a copy of DC Universe Online" as a reward.<ref>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3|Borb vs Magfest]]</ref>

Later that year, after Chris became a [[tomgirl]], Barb tried to stop him from wearing dresses and make-up by telling him she feared he would kill her. She then ordered him to sit down, and she cut his hair<ref>Jackie E-mails 26</ref>.

In addition, Barb has used the specter of old age for her own gain, by manipulating Chris into thinking she will have a heart attack. This tactic has been used so often that Chris will panic and call 911 if Barb does not answer the phone if he checks up on during the times he goes out of the house.<ref>Comments from Marvin on Kiwi Farms, gone when the site was taken down.</ref> When Barb and Chris were both arrested for [[assault and battery]], Chris was extremely worried about her health, saying in an e-mail:

{{quotebox|My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother

Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her. }}

The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] summed up Chris's relationship with Barb:
{{quoteboxgreen|Well, I don't think they talk very much. However, no, Chris is Barb's hand servant. She screams for him and he comes running. She has him change the newspaper the dogs shit on, she has him run errands to bring her stuff, and she used to have him haul her goodwill crap to the car, and then from the car into the house.

''...''

I think Barb's yelling has gotten much less frequent nowadays. It seems like she's pretty feeble nowadays. Chris is just as scared of Barb as he used to be though. I don't think he realizes how much power he has over Barb nowadays.

They're really physically affectionate in a strange way. Chris is pretty touchy feely with women because of habits he learned by spending time with Barb.<ref>https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:YAJnFcGDS9kJ:https://kiwifarms.net/threads/is-chris-really-qualified-to-be-caring-for-barb.16435/page-4+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us</ref>}}

After Bob died, Barb's abuse of Chris escalated. She treated him as a slave and forced him to be on-call at all times. Around 2013, she forced Chris to move out of his bedroom, specifically so she could bark orders at him more efficiently, by throwing a tantrum and wrecking his possessions.

{{quoteboxgreen|a few months to a year before the fire, Chris stopped being permitted to sleep separately from Barb, in his bedroom. He had to sleep closer to Barb, because she needed to be able to yell for him to go to [[sheetz]] and buy her crap, and he wasn't able to hear her up in his bedroom. He kind of tried to resist at first, but then she got super pissed and threw a tantrum. She wrecked his room and like flipped everything over because he was trying to sleep on his own.<ref>https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:YAJnFcGDS9kJ:https://kiwifarms.net/threads/is-chris-really-qualified-to-be-caring-for-barb.16435/page-4+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us</ref>}}

===Pampering===
{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]

<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
</gallery>
</center>

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Senior Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it was possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

===Spooning===
{{quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.|[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|One result of Barb's parenting choices, as explained by Chris in August 2016.]]
}}

To cap off their relationship, Chris revealed in private conversations with multiple people that Barb has spooned with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

From [[Arthur Spatchcock]]:
{{quoteboxred|Story time, kids. Now most of us are aware of the fire; how Barb and Chris were displaced for some time while the house was getting renovated. You know how Chris was all whiny about his legos, right? Some getting melted, shit like that...well he kind of left out that his own bed was ruined as well given it had years of grease soaked into it because not bathing is so chic in his eyes. So when they got back home Chris didn't have his own bed anymore so he was sharing one with Barb instead. This came with the horrifying addendum that Barb wanted to spoon with him; I don't know if he was little spoon or big spoon but I know she was unimpressed and one night just unloaded on him angrily enough that Chris decided to get his own bed with his own money. So it goes without saying that from the time Chris and Barb got back home until he got that grand he was sleeping in the same bed as his mother.<ref>https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:BN2t1QLl1LoJ:https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-4-11-e-begging-intensifies.19356/page-5+&cd=6&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us</ref>}}

Barb's habit of cuddling with Chris had been going on since Bob was alive, and he knew of it, but Barb was too manipulative and he wasn't able to stop her<ref>http://archive.is/zwWV9</ref>.

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara has been [[obesity|obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, ballooned out in more recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks." It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it didn't sound pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the low finances and shit!!!" Consensus was that the so called "holey buttocks" were in fact lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites (rather than flies) that have burrowed into her bountiful booty. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive, Chris whines about having to take care of her.

On 23 August 2013 Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was and what kind of treatment was Barb given.

More recently, Chris has been talking less and less about his surviving parent, so information about how she's doing is scarce. However, what little information we do have suggests that she isn't doing so well. In August 2014, Chris begged for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as he claimed his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment. On the occasion that she attended Chris's [[26 December 2014|court hearings]] throughout [[2015]], Christorians in attendance invariably noted that although she has lost weight, she appears to have low muscle mass (probably due to her sedentary lifestyle). In particular, at [[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing|his last hearing]], it was noted that Barb appeared to be growing increasingly frail and possibly senile, as she did not appear to be very responsive, and appeared much more submissive to Chris than she has otherwise been known to be. Chris also reportedly got short with her due to her poor hearing.

In November 2015, [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]] was uploaded to YouTube. The video is a plea for [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]], and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "Her time runs out", even though the latter two aren't Barb's children.

In August 2016, [[Anna McLerran]] posted a photo on Facebook of herself and Barb together. In it, Barb appears to have aged significantly since her last appearance in the "Donations Further Requested, Please" video.

In [[November 2016]], Barb escaped injury when she slipped and fell on [[14 Branchland Court|the hoard]].

Chris stated in April 2017 that he was taking care-giving classes in order to better help Barb<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]]</ref>.

Barb is seen in a [[May 2017]] begging video, in which Chris mentions that she drinks "meal replacement shakes,"<ref>[[Minor Update, Handouts!]]</ref> possibly referring to a drink such as Ensure.

===Mental===
Barb is understood by most to be a highly unstable woman, and worryingly, many of her behaviors can also be observed in Chris. Many believe her to be selfish and extremely narcissistic, on account of her seemingly baseless belief that she is [[Daniel Weston|descended from]] [[Anne Boleyn|Tudor high nobility]], and the pathological manner in which she lies and assigns blame to others, even in instances when any sane person could see that only they were in the wrong. All of these traits are shared by Chris, with Barb's apparent encouragement. Additionally, many aspects of her relationship with Chris are consistent with [http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ narcissistic motherhood], which is a fascinating but complex topic too lengthy to be discussed in detail here. Although Chris seems to be her [http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/golden-child-and-scapegoat/ "golden child"], she does not shy from mistreating him if he displeases her. This can be seen in an email to [[Jackie]] from May 2011; Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[Tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and [[Death threats|threatening to kill him]].<ref name="jackie26" />

Aside from her narcissism, Barb is also noted by Christorians for her hoarding. Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>, and on more than one occasion has indicated his displeasure at her hoarding and the state it has left [[14 Branchland Court|their house]] in, although neither he nor Bob are known to have ever seriously challenged it. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, particularly from Goodwill, which, by [[2009]], had rendered the living room uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, ostensibly due to the conditions in the Chandler household. <ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> The situation did not improve after Bob's passing, either. A [[Tour of Chris's House II|second house tour video]] made by Chris in [[2013]] revealed that Barb's hoarding had gotten severe enough to render entire rooms literally inaccessible, with some rooms literally full of stuff to within inches of the ceiling, and others reduced to crevices carved into walls of junk.

Barb's hoarding was predicted by many to lead to disaster, and finally did on [[January 2014|January 10 2014]], when in the wee hours of the morning, Chris [[Destruction Of Chris's House|started a house fire]] while trying to brew coffee in the bathroom, because the kitchen had been among the rooms blocked off by Barb's junk. Naturally, Barb's hoard provided ample kindling for the fire, and the house was severely damaged before the fire could be contained. In fact, given the state of the house in the second tour video, it's surprising that Chris and Barb were able to escape. Equally unsurprising, however, is the fact that one of the Chandlers' remaining cats died in the blaze, and one of the fire-fighters sent to the scene also suffered unspecified injuries.

While the Chandlers [[Rental House|relocated]], pending repairs to their home, Barb's stuff went into storage. When repairs were completed a year later, Barb had all of it moved back to 14 Branchland Court, and is not known to have disposed of any of it, even though, by all accounts, most of what she and Chris were able to salvage is either fire, smoke or water damaged, rendering it completely useless.

On [[July 2016|July 13 2016]], Barb unexpectedly starred in [[Donations Further Requested, Please|one of Chris's e-begging videos]]. In the minute-long video, she speaks slowly and almost inaudibly, hardly moving or blinking for the entirety of the video. While some have voiced concerns that this may be an early sign of dementia, it is just as likely that Barb, being Barb, was putting on an act for money.

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Financial problems==
In 2016, Barb was sued by a Discover bank in Norfolk for not paying debts. This came to light on [[March 2016|March 14]] [[2016]] when sharp eyed [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwis]] noticed that she had a hearing on March 16. As she must have been outright ignoring her debt for some time for the bank to take her to court over it, it was widely assumed that she would ignore the summons too. Instead, once the court records were updated, many were surprised to see that not only had Barb attended, but she had represented herself, too. Equally unsurprisingly, this bold move failed to pay off, and Barb was still sentenced to pay $4,706.93<ref>[[:File:Barb discover bank result.png]]</ref>.

Five months later, Barb was sued again, this time by Capital One Bank, for the same reason. The hearing in September resulted in a Default Judgement against Barb, meaning that she didn't bother attending. She owes Capital One $15,906.99<ref>[[:File:Barb vs Capital One Bank result.png]]</ref>.

Her out-of-control debt was the catalyst for the [[Financhu Crisis]] of 2016.

In June through July of that year, Barb appeared in three videos:

*[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]
*[[Donations Requested, Please]]
*[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]

In the videos, she and Chris beg for donations, claiming to need money for her asthma medication and dental work (although they receive a combined amount of $2,500 per month from the government<ref>[[Chris and money#But wait, Chris isn't employed!]]</ref> and their costly hoards are clearly visible behind them).

She has failed to take accountability for ruining the family's finances, trying to pin the blame on Chris<ref>[[Patreon announcement]]</ref>, even though her known debt of over $20,000 is much larger than Chris's.

She and Chris had an inheritance from Bob worth "tens of thousands of dollars" when he passed away, but Barb decided to frivolously spend it on [[Rob Bell]] in an attempt to gain exoneration for her [[assault and battery]] charge.

==Appearances==
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]
[[File:Barb drawing Nov. '15.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Barb in a drawing released in [[November 2015]].]]
===In ''Sonichu''===
In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

In the 2015 revisions to [[Sonichu 10]], Chris wrote out Bianca's character and replaced her with his mother.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in several videos: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two decade-old videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas. Another video of her was recorded by a [[troll]] as she and Chris left court after his hearing in February 2015.

She has most frequently appeared during the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help|Two more]] [[Donations Requested, Please|videos]] were released June 2016 showing Chris begging for donations to buy asthma pills for Barbara. Barbara is shown practically dead in both of these videos so [[Chris and Death|god only knows what will happen in the near future.]]

In a [[Donations Further Requested, Please|video]] released on 13 July 2016, Barbara joins her son in shamelessly e-begging. Her voice tired and hoarse, mouth agape, she stares directly into the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

She resumed begging in a [[EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE|video]] from April 2017, in which she wears a [[$400 gold necklace]] while asking Chris's audience to give him $1,000 in exchange for his old [[Stamps|stamp album]].

She next appeared in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]], when she walked in while Chris was recording.

After a more uploads from Chris, Barb starred another begging video uploaded on 24 May 2017, titled [[We Said Donations No Less than $1 00, US, Please]]. Chris removed the video the next day, after people threatened to report him for elder abuse.

After the last failed attempt of getting donations, Chris got Barb to engage in yet, another begging video on 16 June 2017, titled [[We need immediate funds, please]]. She wore both the [[$400 gold necklace]] and a pearl necklace.

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Babs1956.PNG|Barb's 8th grade (or "Pre-Freshman") photo.
Image:Babs1957.PNG|Barb's freshman photo from high school.
Image:Babs1960.PNG|Barb's senior photo from high school.
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|Barb, evolved into Snorlax.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form
File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|Barb [[Amiibo]], complete with cleavage. Buy yours today on [[Etsy]].
File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.
File:Chandlers.Png|Barb and Chris. Barb is interrupting Chris during a live [[YouTube]] stream.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED

{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

The Incredible Lioness

2017-07-07T01:31:04Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank:

{{merge|Vamprosa}}

[[Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes feminism is.]]

{{quote|When feeling the [[Chris and anger|MOST Enraged]], MOST Distraught, MOST [[Stress]]ed Out beyond Belief, Rosechu will recollect why she is feeling this way, then she will transform into The Incredible Lioness|[[Cwcipedia]] article, looks like Chris has made a decent character who reflects on the world around them}}
{{quote|If her clothes are not nearby when she is fully recovered and rested, the poor woman will have to rush home as quickly as possible to clean up and put on clean clothes, or find some kind of material to make a set of makeshift clothes for the trek back home. |same paragraph, looks like Chris has made another [[rule 34]]}}

'''The Incredible Lioness''' was the horrifying form that [[Rosechu]] was given in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] originally to face-rape the comic incarnation of [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. Little information is given in the comic itself, but Chris gives further details on the [[CWCipedia]]. Seemingly analogous to [[Ultra Sonichu]], rather than gaining power from exposure to [[Sonichu Balls|Chaotic Crystals]], Rosechu simply gains tremendous strength through [[stress]] and [[Chris and anger|rage]], closer to [[Things Chris has ripped off|The Incredible Hulk]] than anything else; however, Chris most likely meant to rip off [[Sonic]]'s "Werehog" transformation from ''Sonic Unleashed''. Chris implies that because Rosechu is a [[women's rights|woman]] she can't control herself when she gets into a rage, and the only way to calm her is to tell her that she's pretty, or whatever Chris means by "make amends with deepest apologies, heavy flattery, and promising to do as she wishes".<ref name="Rosechu article">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu#.28Temporary_Transformation.29_The_Incredible_Lioness CWCipedia - The Incredible Lioness]</ref> However, in both appearances in the comic, she calms down without any intervention.. The transformation process also completely destroys her clothes; presumably she has to have the foresight to know she's about to go into a blind, unstoppable rage and remove the clothing, or just put on some makeshift clothes later. How and why her clothes are destroyed isn't clear as the only time Rosechu has transformed thus far she removed her clothing herself, but no part of the transformation involves anything that would damage clothing - she does not grow in size or change shape. Indeed, why clothes are such a concern for her in the first place is mystifying considering most of the Sonichus and Rosechus don't wear any clothing at all.

Chris also clarifies that only the True and Original Rosechu can transform. <ref name="Rosechu article" /><ref name="mail 10">[[Mailbag 10#God save the queen|Mailbag 10]]</ref> One could argue that this is due to Rosechu's parentage; according to Chris, she was sired by [[Wikipedia:Luxray|Luxray]],<ref name="Rosechu article" /> a lion-esque type of [[Pokémon]]. Since this makes sense, it's highly unlikely that it was intended by him.

As you may have guessed, Chris created the Incredible Lioness in an attempt to show his support for [[Women's rights]].

[[Image:TILCircus.jpg|thumb|Roll up! Roll up!]]

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==

In the climax of [[Episode 17]]: ''Rage Against The Garbage'', Rosechu and [[Sonichu]] travel to Floor 66+6 of [[4-cent_garbage.com]] to confront [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] about the [[ED]] page. Their main concern is the [[trolls|troll]] fan art of Rosechu with a [[duck]], which Sonichu innocently interprets as a simple misunderstanding. Jason outright refuses to take down the ED page, and brutally throws Sonichu to the floor. Rosechu reacts nonchalantly to this, and does not transform until, as the two leave, Jason has the audacity to throw a [[pickle]] at her.

It strikes her on the back of the head. She picks it up and crushes it in a fist, as her mind fills with thoughts of violence and bizarrely ominous feminist diatribes, glorifying the creative power of the ovary. In spite of this supposed respect for the female being, Rosechu goes on to strip completely naked, exposing her breasts and vagina in what Chris maintains is a comic intended for children. At this point, she becomes The Incredible Lioness.

The Lioness leaps at Jason with murder in her red eyes. In what may be the most hideously explicit violence in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] [[Sonichu 10|up to that point]], she wraps her legs around his head, so that her [[China|vagina]] is pressed against his face - a move which was [[Things Chris has ripped off#Kekko Kamen|probably copied]] from ''[[Anime|Kekko Kamen]]''. Then she tears a rip across his scalp, and bites down. In moments, Jason is near death (although dark forces keep him alive). Why this attack needed to involve Rosechu shoving her vagina into Jason's face is unclear. Rosechu then reverts to standard form, close to fainting from her outrageous exertion.

==[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]==

After the [[Moon]] releases an energy wave, Rosechu transforms into the Incredible Lioness in her backyard after picking up a Sonichite stone.. For an unexplained reason, she isn't enraged when transformed. Also, she's [[Nudes|Nude]]. In front of her three children. Rosechu is surprised by this, and rushes inside to get a a new pair of clothes.

==References==
<references />

==See also==

*[[Rosechu]]
*[[Vamprosa]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
*[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu#.28Temporary_Transformation.29_The_Incredible_Lioness The Incredible Lioness' original article on the CWCipedia]
{{Template:Sonichu}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Incredible Lioness}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]

Chris and fashion

2017-07-04T05:00:35Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Wardrobe */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]
[[File:GoodwillCville.jpg|thumb|200px|The [[Ruckersville]] Goodwill which Chris patronizes.]]
{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in the old red, white and blue.|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]g</ref>}}

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are usually purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|The Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. Prior to the [[Tomgirl Saga]], the majority of shirts he owned were colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts, most of which were decorated with horizontal stripes, making him look even [[Obesity|fatter]]. [[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one of these shirts (the "Advice Dog") was purchased by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Though his mother didn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chose to wear these shirts. The advent of the [[Tomgirl Saga]] was accompanied by a change to garb that may have been more feminine, but was equally cheap and hideous.

== The Fashion Sense of Chris (Pre-Tomgirl)==
=== Childhood ===
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|200px|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polos, T-shirts, and khaki pants. The only difference compared to adulthood is that he sometimes dared to wear single-colored shirts with his favorite [[Sonic the Hedgehog|game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only article of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme was the [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it did not look particularly good on him.

=== Trademark clothing ===
[[File:Classic post-fire 2.jpeg|thumb|left|200px|The Classic, pictured in [[April 2017]], after Chris recovered it from the hoard.]]
[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|200px|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring "the Horizontal Horror".]]

This is the original and most iconic look of Chris, the standard until mid-2011. It is a look immortalized in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] self-insertion. His outfit usually consisted of:
* His [[The Classic|favorite shirt]], a [[Chris and brand loyalty|St. John's Bay®]]<ref>In [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]], Chris claims the polo is actually a Ralph Lauren.</ref> Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo, which was so tight that it accentuated his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably drew himself wearing in the comics. Trolls came to call it the "clown shirt" or "The Classic." It was thought destroyed in the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|2014 fire]] that gutted the Chandler house<ref>[[eBay]] comment: "I lost the shirt in the fire" http://contact.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ShowAllQuestions&iid=191232666489&requested=jesusguidesme2&redirect=0&frm=2047675&ShowASQAlways=1&ssPageName=PageAskSellerQuestion_VI</ref>, but later [[eBay#The Classic shirt|resurfaced for sale in 2017]], when Chris listed it for a minimum price of '''$12,000''' due to the [[Financhu Crisis]]. He had found it in a bag of damp, moldy clothes, wet from the water the firefighters had used to extinguish the flames when his house burned three years prior. He washed it, and then wore it for the first time in years when he uploaded [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]].
* His [[medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[pedo-glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically defined his rear end to a disturbing level — he may have been wearing women's jeans, or he may have been simply wearing pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]].
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when he's [[April 16 Fetish Vids|in the mood]] for [[recycling]], or when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for [[Chris and death|funerals]] or [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Starting in late [[2009]], a [[bra]] to keep the previously mentioned bosoms in check.

===The "IBA" outfit===
[[File:The Chronicles Of Chris-Chan- They see me trollin, they laughin'... -7-17-09-.mp4 20140516 130015.190.jpg|thumb|The "IBA" outfit.]]
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made certain friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (glasses chain remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that was too small for his girth.

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clown shirts, and claimed that he had been pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video. However, on the same day he [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back|shaved his beard]], he drew the first picture of [[Collosal Chan]], a character which preserved the look for all eternity.

===The "Gay Trucker" outfit===

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he promised to leave the [[Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the medallion for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person. This included a denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of, making it look somewhat like a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilet gilet].<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> The result was a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that when Chris tries to look like a bad boy, he ends up looking like a [[Truck Driver|gay trucker]], hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could have made it look gayer would have been by combining it with his muscle bra. Which, unfortunately, he did. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, going back to the medallion would have actually ''improved'' his chances of picking up [[gal-pals]].

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|will never have]] [[Facebook#An Open Note (4/13/2012)|with a non-prostitute]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly expressed Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that changed the Mountain Dew logo so it read "Mount and Do Me." Fans hoped that since this was a private video for a potential sweetheart, Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[bedroom]]. Alas, Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to Fridays After Five - a '''public, ''family-oriented''''' concert. He topped this by pulling that shirt over his head and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" The common belief is that these unfunny, sexually-themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is available without ever having to talk to people, nor spend any effort in making a sign.

In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos in which he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts. The effect was interesting, bringing him closer to normality than he'd been in many years. He was still a pale, sweaty, balding, fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that put him reasonably close to the mainstream.

A number of Chris's T-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more--a Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], and a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

===The [[Carlos Chantor]] outfit===
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet. Too bad it did not last.]]

A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com. It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous.

The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures.
{{clear}}

==Chris's Tomgirl Fashion Sense==
===Early Tomgirl Fashion===
[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]

{{main|Tomgirl Saga}}

In [[April 2011]], a series of leaked pictures showed Chris dressed in women's clothing in public. This outfit consisted of:

* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - Note that piercing the right ear is traditionally code for [[Homos|homosexuality]]; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eye shadow
* Jeans
* Blue string top
* Black thong
* A silver ring (Note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge of [[F Abstinence|abstinence]] until [[Lovely Weather|marriage]])<ref>[[:File:TG6.jpg]] - Chris-Tran with his new silver ring</ref><ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/ silverringthing.com]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]
* A new head-band (as seen in the [[Facebook]] pictures)

[[File:TG10.jpg|thumb|left|Would you fuck me? [[It's not that cold|I'd fuck me]]. I'd fuck me HARD.]]

While not seen in the leaked images, Chris's posts in [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] revealed he also donned skirts and panties as part of his new look.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&p=162#p162 Re: Girly Things Tee Hee]</ref><ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315 Re: Mothers]</ref> In [[September 2011]], Chris was also photographed carrying a purse.

Chris was very happy with his new fashion choices, but friction with his parents made it difficult for him to wear makeup and women's clothing overtly. Sometimes he had to change after leaving the house or before returning (but he could always wear a bra and panties).<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref>

[[File:Chris_at_a_gay_bar.jpg|thumb|left|A hemline this high leaves little to the imagination.]]

===Late Tomgirl Fashion===
[[File:CWC1214.png|thumb|150px|Chris in December 2014.]]
Chris continued to wear female clothing, albeit with some refinements over the course of the next couple years. Although he has long since dispensed with the clownish polo shirts and jeans, many characteristics of his tomgirl wardrobe are remarkably consistent with the way he dressed when he still wore men's clothing, especially in terms of color coordination and clothing size. He also remains committed to buying all his clothes from thrift stores, giving him the appearance of a dumpy bag lady. He summarized his style in [[November 2014]] as "colored leggings, denim skirts mini to knee length, bold colored shirts and blouses."<ref>[[Commissions#The Flufflehugs Commissions]]</ref> Some of the most frequent themes in his feminine fashion choices are:

* Clashing, violently-opposed colors (particularly red with blue or green)
* Clothing far too small for him
* Dresses or skirts with very high hems
* Leggings, to help with tucking
* Sports bras
* Omission of glasses, possibly due to contact lenses
* Big, floppy, church-lady hats
* Eye makeup, applied poorly and usually purple or blue in color

A deviation from this style was seen in the video of the [[26 December 2014]] incident, where Chris is shown in purple [[My Little Pony]] shades, (probably as a [[Honor roll|disguise]]); a silver headband, showing off his ever-receding [[hair|hairline]]; his Manchester High sweatshirt; short jeans matched with long, purple socks and/or [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|another pair of pants]]; and boots (possibly Uggs).

The fact that Chris wore skirts and makeup for each of his court hearings in 2015, even those to which [[Barb]] accompanied him, suggests that he consistently dresses this way in public, and that his mother has come to grudgingly accept her son's transgender attire.

In 2015, Chris also started dying his hair blue, but predictably failed to do it properly, and ended up dying it an ugly, seaweed green instead. Combined with his wardrobe that manages to somehow simultaneously resemble the attire of a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|5 year old girl]] and a [[Barb|65 year old cat lady]], the resulting look has been sardonically referred to by Kiwis as "mermaid grandma".
{{clear}}

==Chris, on fashion==
In [[November 2016]], Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Women should wear skirts|posted]] a commentary on women's fashion.

In it, Chris implored women to wear skirts with leggings instead of pants, saying to "view it from [[Attraction Sign|a pervert's perception]]: they eye downward and have Good view of the in-between, as well as easier access to picture it in their imaginations from there. With a dress or skirt concealing the area, it is actually More difficult for the perv, and, thus, more difficult to picture and imagine what is or isn't at the [[China|groin area]]."

He also requested men to consider wearing kilts - stressing to wear pants underneath, saying, "NOBODY is impressed with that [[Pickle|bulge]]; moreover it is Absolutely Offensive," which indicates that Chris has shifted from [[Brassieres For Males|obsessing over men's chests]] to obsessing over their crotches.

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is autistic, observers speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. During the events of the [[Liquid Saga]], Chris took a special interest in [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]]'s choice of a brown striped shirt, referring to Liquid as a "Brown-Striped Impostor"<ref>[[SingStar Challenge]]</ref> and fixating on Liquid's shirt as a symbol of his inauthenticity. In any case, Chris seems to regard his clothing as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

Like many of his lifestyle changes which occurred during the Tomgirl Saga, Chris's unceremonious abandonment of his classic shirts came as a surprise to trolls who had spent years speculating on Chris's clothing as a symbol of his identity, and his usual resistance to change as a symptom of his autism. However, even in retrospect, Chris seems to hold the clothes he used to wear in very high regard as a symbol of his identity and legacy, as shown when he listed "The Classic" on eBay for a whopping $12,000. Writing after the end of the auction, Chris felt the need to commemorate the occasion with some words:<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Barb borrowed from life insurance]]</ref>

{{Quote|1=Yes, the shirt's auction has ended high, but I am still awaiting payment from the mother of one of my fans, who, unless remains anonymous, will have her name go down in History for not only restoring a very Iconic Artifact, but also improves this artist's family's life, After the restoration and disinfection of the shirt. Her most grateful son will be proud of her for having gone down in history for Restoring the Fire-Survivor Iconic Shirt of Sonichu and Rosechu's Creator. Thank You, Missus.|2=Chris|3=on why history books should remember the momentous occasion wherein a retard bought a moldy piece of cloth from another retard}}

Not only is this statement [[Chris and his Ego|extremely egotistical]] even by CWC's standards, it also betrays the fact that Chris continues to treat a shirt that he let rot in a plastic bag for two years with an undue amount of gravitas. It seems that Chris views the clothing he has worn over the course of his life, much like [[Christopher's name change#Christopher as a separate personality|the various names he has had]], as an important symbol of his identity as it has twisted and changed. Because autistics are known to place extreme importance on inanimate objects, this can be seen as standard autistic behavior.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, prior to the Tomgirl Saga, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"[[The Classic|The Classic]]" [[So Need a Cute Girl|1]] [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|2]] [[Pixelated PS3|3]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|4]] [[CWC is Angry|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|8]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|11]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|12]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|13]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|14]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|15]] [[Sign Destruction Video|16]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|17]] [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt|18]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|2]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[I am STRAIGHT|1]] [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]] [[100 2278|5]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Wigwam|3]] [[WeighIn|4]] [[Chris Sings Lovin' You|5]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]] [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|2]] [[F Abstinance|3]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|1]] [[CWC is Sad|2]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|3]] [[This was my fault|4]] [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|5]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|1]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]] [[100 2357.MOV|5]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[Magical Man Potion|2]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|3]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51 50|1]]
Image:Christshirt42.png|"The Statesmen" [[10252009 For Kacey|1]] [[To Clyde Gregg|2]] [[For Chris II|3]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2265|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]] [[Pregnant Act|4]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]] [[WelcometoBollywood|2]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[An Official Sonichu Update|1]] [[Sonichu Game Talk|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|7]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]] [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|7]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]
</gallery>
</center>

==Cross-dressing Boutique==
Chris has ditched the clown shirts, instead opting for an arguably worse wardrobe, see below:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:The Clopper.PNG|"The Clopper" [[Paid Video Requests#Josh Lover of men|1]] [[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter|2]] [[Paid Video Requests#Happy Birthday, Nathan.|3]]
Image:White tomgirl with Heart design.png|"The Shattered Heart" [[Announcement 06292016|1]] [[Unicorns Rainbows and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 3|2]] [[Rainbows Unicorns and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 4|3]] [[August 2016 Paid Video Requests#Singing "All of the Lights"|4]]
Image:imdoneadulting.png|"The Broken Brony" (bought for $23.99)<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/screenshot-www-facebook-com-2016-10-03-14-31-36-png.141291/</ref>
 [[The_Alpha_Trion/"Young_Warrior"_Challenge|1]]
Image:thepromoter.png|"The Promoter" [[Update_02/16/2016|1]]
Image:sonicrainboom.png|"The Sonic Rainboom" [[Holiday_Greetings_to_Karen_Riley|1]]
Image:thehappyhag.png|"The Happy Hag" [[Update_01/12/2016|1]] [[Apologies_for_offending_people|2]] [[Doxing_Jeff/Francine|3]] [[Eid,_Pmurt,_Eid|4]] [[Embargo_Update_12/2/2015|5]] [[HELP,_PLEASE!!!|7]] [[GameStop_is_UNFAIR_to_Everyone;_Not_Just_Me!|6]] [[Happy_Birthday,_Martin.|8]] [[Happy_Pokémon_Day.|9]] [[HelloLadyFans|10]] [[I%27m_sick;_we_need_money_donations;_no_video_requests_for_a_while|11]] [[I_Am_me;_He_is_not|12]] [[Jeff_is_Beyond_Denounced.|13]] [[Lesbian_Sleepover_Party_Announcement.|14]] [[Lesbian_Sleepover_Party_Announcement.|15]] [[Reading:_"A_Girl_Who_Brought_Down_the_World",_"And_Apparently_Survived_a_Housefire"|16]] [[September_2016_Paid_Video_Requests|17]] [[Thank_You_from_Christine_Chandler|18]] [[Twelve_New_and_Old_Things_of_Christmas|19]] [[Update,_1/22/2016,_and_new_items_for_Cwcville_Shopping.|20]] [[Update_01/12/2016|21]] [[Update_1/25/2016|22]] [[Yes,_it_still_has_been_I,_Christine_Weston_Chandler,_who_has_been_uploading_the_videos_personally.|23]]
Image:thedealmaker.png|"The Deal Maker" [[Proposition_to_Sega|1]] [[Announcement_04/16/2016|2]]
Image:bubblegumnightmare.png|"The Bubblegum nightmare" [[Live_Game_Stream_-_C-Log_050032017-2|1]]
Image:toothpastetube.png|"The Toothpaste Tube" [[Live_Game_Stream_-_C-Log_050032017-2|1]]
Image:ManchesterSweaterFixed.png|"The Manly Chester" [[I Love You, Catherine|1]] [[26_December_2014#Video|2]]
</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

==Other aspects of his Fashion sense==
===Wrist warmer===
[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>{{PublicSource}}}}

Chris likely wears this article to counter [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

===Fanny pack===
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|Mrs. Sanford]].]]
[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]

A fanny pack (known as a "bum bag" in the British Commonwealth) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, and have since been considered to be a fashion faux pas.<ref>http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/once-reviled-fanny-packs-get-a-high-fashion-makeover-and-an-even-higher-pricetag-2452640#photoViewer=1</ref> Naturally, Chris wore them throughout the 1990s and 2000s.

===Cosplaying===
{{main|Chris and cosplaying}}
{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Chris Sings Lovin' You

2017-07-04T04:59:34Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank:

{{Honest}}
[[File:1240785819569.jpg|thumb|300px|[[RAPE]][[Stare|FACE]]]]
'''Chris Sings Lovin' You''', uploaded on 28 [[March 2009]], is another musical tribute for [[Ivy]], in which Chris does [[Holding Out for a Hero|his usual shtick in tributes]] while his "cover" of "[[Lovin' You]]" overlaps with his monologue.

==Watch==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Sings Lovin' You
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TU9_24HRWbo}}
| stardate = 28 [[March 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Ivy|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlueShirt|text}}
| previous = [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009#Video|CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]
| next = [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora#Watch|Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''For the first half-minute of the video, while the camera is trained on his face from below, Chris has mixed the recordings of his monologue and his singing together. As a result, both are almost impossible to understand, albeit both equally terrifying.'']

[''Song''] 
Loving you...is easy...'cuz you're beautiful 
Make...lovin' you is all I want to do 
Lovin' you...is more'n just a dream come true 
And everything I do...is out of lovin' you

[''Monologue''] 
My beautiful Ivy, you've done so much for me even though you're not here right now. You've reset my [[biological clock]]. You've ignited more emotions in me than any woman has ever made me feel before. You have inspired me all over again, like no woman has been able to inspire me before.

[''Cut to a montage of images from [[Sonichu Special 1]]. Chris sings in the background.'']

La la la la la...doot doo-doo da-doo 
No one else...can make me feel...

[''A disturbing squeaking noise kicks up in the background. Chris may be attempting to provide sound effects for the comics in addition to his singing.'']

The colors that you bring 
Stay with me...while we grow old

[''Some faint, yet equally disturbing panting is heard.'']

Eh, we will live each day in the springtime 
'Cuz lovin' you has made my life so beautiful 
And every day my life is filled with lovin' you 
Lovin' yoooouuu, I see your soul come shinin' through 
Every tiiime, that weee'''ooooo'''...I'm more in love with you

[''We cut back to Chris's face, and the song is once again mixed with his monologue.'']

[''Song''] 
Laaaaaa-aaaa-aaaa, laaaa 
Doo-doo da-doo-doo 
Love you Ivy 
Iiiiiiiii...looooove...yooouuuu

[''Monologue''] 
I love you Ivy. Make your journey here safely, and I will wait for you.

[''Chris removes his [[pedo-glasses]].'']

I love you. Mwah!

[''Chris closes his eyes and makes a hideous kissy-face gesture at the camera before the video mercifully ends.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]|nextlink=[[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-28]]
[[Category:Ivy Saga videos| 2009-03-28]]

Chris and health

2017-07-03T21:30:44Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Nutrition */

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|Eat less [[/cow/|cow]] meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and [[Fanta|Fruit]] are a must; [[A Hike|Walking]] or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|[[Chris]]'s [[Chris and Hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_2</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|Chris in a few years.]]

Chris, as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine can plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], [[Power|lack of exercise]], [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|poor nutrition]], [[ShowerClean|refusal to bathe]], and [[Tour of Chris's House|the grave uncleanliness]] of [[Rental House|his]] [[14 Branchland Court|surroundings]], he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life-threatening medical problems such as cancer, type 2 diabetes, [[Wikipedia:Atherosclerosis|atherosclerosis]], and possibly a premature [[Death|death]].

==Nutrition==
{{main|Obesity}}
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily, including ones mixed with [[Navy|a special ingredient]].]]

Chris is a known fast food lover, eating either [[McDonald's]] or [[Burger King]] at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to 4 times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring calorific intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. The frequency of his fast food trips was confirmed in 2015 when a Kiwi Farms user sent him $500 to see what he would do with it.

[[File:Sonic rainboom $500 1.png|thumb|left|Chris visited McDonalds 10 times in 13 days. It's not even the only fast-food place on the list.]]

Chris claims that he cooks for himself 4 or 5 days a week,<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> making his cooking a major source of his nutrition. He has said that he took Home Ec. classes in school and that he owns cookbooks.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> However, when Jackie asked him to cook spaghetti in a YouTube video--an incredibly basic dish, mind you--he dodged responsibility by claiming that [[Barbara]] had blocked the kitchen up with junk, so he instead mimed the act and microwaved some canned spaghetti and meatballs.<ref>[[SpaghettiRoutine]]</ref> It can be deduced from this that Chris can't or doesn't cook and simply buys microwaveable meals every time he claims to be eating at home.

Many, many times, Chris has been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water and that he drinks a lot of [[CWC Cola|carbonated]] [[My Coke Rewards|drinks]] and energy drinks (which have been proven to [[Chris and anger|increase erratic behavior]]<ref>[http://www.naturalnews.com/042974_soda_consumption_brain_function_hyperactivity.html|Natural News]</ref>). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:

* '''Breakfast:''' Often nothing because he usually [[Biological clock|sleeps from 6 a.m. to noon]], but on the rare occasion he does, he travels to McDonald's or another fast food restaurant with a breakfast menu.
* '''Lunch:''' Something quick at home or fast food.
* '''Dinner:''' Dine out at a fast food place with family, or have a poorly-cooked microwave meal.

In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|ramming stuff]] [[Homos#Evidence that Chris might be gay|in his rectum]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>[[Wikipedia:Fecal_incontinence#Constipation|Fecal incontinence on Wikipedia]]</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no fruit or vegetables is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.

According to Chris, he eats more vegetables than any other food group.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref> The veracity of this statement is dubious, given what is known about Chris's medical history and health in general.

In short, Chris is a fatty, yet he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.

It seems that his diet has finally caught up with him, as it was revealed in the [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father that he was prescribed [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]] for his high cholesterol. Chris claims that he stopped taking the drug in the fall of [[2009]], but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the call) is uncertain.

[[File:Hypnosis for fatter ass.png|thumb|200px|Chris wants to use subliminal hypnosis to make his belly slimmer but his ass fatter.]]
In 2016, he began listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos as an attempt to improve his health. He liked videos such as '''Lose Weight Super Fast!''', '''Produce Odorless Farts Fast!''', '''Eliminate Armpit Odor Permanently Fast!''' and '''Lower Your Blood Pressure Fast! Hypertension Treatment'''.

===Places where Chris likes to eat===
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Golden Corral]] (has closed its doors in Charlottesville)
* [[Chick-fil-A]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]
* [[Burger King]]

==Exercise==
[[File:Cwcstrongman.JPG|thumb|[[I AM STRONG]]!]]
<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is Strong and [[Power]]ful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

Chris has not had any regular exercise since leaving [[high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[vidya]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight has left his skin a frightening pallor that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room, while making videos. Also, most fat people have strong, stocky legs, due to carrying around all that weight, but since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of fat, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> Needless to say, Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa the Rapper'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors. Despite this, in [[WelcometoBollywood]] he is capable of dancing in place for over 7 minutes. Whether or not he did this with the magic of jump cuts remains to be seen.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to flexing and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting boxes of Minute Maid lemonade and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could've defeated both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should've it to came to blows, and as such had challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is. He's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWCFighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to [[I Got A Fish|get his wish]] and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog 5 miles (8 kilometers) a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take 6 breaks to catch his breath, whereas a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.

Chris's lack of muscle tone may stem from hypotonia (lack of muscle tone), which can occur in people on the [[autism]] spectrum,<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypotonia</ref> although it is clear that his poor lifestyle has only exacerbated this.
{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}
[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|"Did you bathe?" "No"]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris [[Mass debating|marinates in his own filth]].]]

As quoted above, Chris claims to bathe on a daily basis. However, his propensity to lie and reports from people who have interacted with him suggest otherwise. According to [[Emily]], he reeked of "rotten watermelons"; [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said "body odor masked with gallons of Axe". In fact, it might be that Chris regards [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower.<ref>In an [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_10 ad] Chris made for ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'' [[Rosechu]] tells [[Sonichu]] that he smells good, and asks him if he bathed, like it's some kind of event. Sonichu replies that he used Axe instead, suggesting that Chris believes that using Axe is an acceptable substitute for a shower or bath.</ref> Rosechu seems to confirm this belief, as upon being told of the Axe usage she makes an awful attempt at suggestive wordplay, suggesting both that using Axe makes Sonichu clean enough for sex and that cheap deodorant has an aphrodisiac effect on Rosechu.

It would appear that Chris compounds this hygiene problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for several days in a row.<ref>A particularly good example is the series of videos starting with [[12 January 2010]] and ending with [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]. The videos in question were shot between 12-15 [[January 2010]], and in all of them Chris wears the same shirt.</ref> It may be that Chris just gets into "nice" clothing to make his videos and as such doesn't get them dirty, allowing for him to use the same ones repeatedly, although this hygienic habit would be at odds with everything else he does.

The condition of his epidermal system is so poor that it's visibly noticeable, even in his [[Chris and cinematography|low quality videos]]. The texture of grease that is probably permanently adhered to his skin creates a disgusting sheen that reflects a significant amount of light. The same goes for his [[hair]], which is in such poor condition that when he allowed it to grow for the [[Tomgirl Pictures]], many strands were clumped together in greasy, sticky locks, looking akin to the long beard of a homeless man. And even when washed, it looks exactly as greasy and unkempt as it did before, as seen in the [[HairDifference]] videos. This neglect will only make his hair fall out even faster than it already is.

This lack of cleanliness, combined with the state of his [[Chris's Room|room]] where he spends almost all his time, means that Chris and his surroundings must smell absolutely ''disgusting''. Chris evidently simply tolerates the horrible odours, perhaps not noticing them anymore. It may be that he has an abnormally weak or insensitive sense of smell; few other things would allow for such living conditions.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[The GAMe PLACe]] (doubtlessly offending his victorious opponents) and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he kept a bottle on hand at all times. Additionally, Mimms and Lucas said in their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] that Chris didn't have any noticeable BO during his time at the GAMe PLACe, suggesting that his odor problems have become more severe in recent years. [[BlueSpike]] also mentions Chris's usage of hand sanitizer throughout [[Julie Reveals Herself]].

One day in September 2014, Chris decided to give himself [[Un-clit|a piercing on his perineum]]. Piercings require constant disinfection while they heal, anywhere on the body, even for very clean people, and so many trolls were concerned that considering Chris's general filthiness and the fact that the location of the piercing would receive very little air, there was a serious risk of infection. In December, he shared another picture of this piercing which showed that, while it wasn't infected, the piercing had begun to reject (''tearing the skin'' in the process). Making lemonade out of lemons, Chris (now in the throes of his transwoman fantasy) noted with pride the tear's semblance to a [[China|vagina]] and actually got it re-pierced, without giving the original wound any longer than about a week to heal. Fortunately, Chris gave up on it after it became clear that the piercing was going to be more hassle than it was worth, and removed it for good before any serious harm was done.
{{clear}}

==Living conditions==
[[File:Ebay violin photo - 22 Jun 2014 - 1.jpg|thumb|Only half a year in and already an inhuman cesspool; quite the accomplishment.]]
''Main article: [[14 Branchland Court]], [[Rental House]]''

Simply put, Chris has spent many years growing acclimated to living in conditions of abject filth and untidiness. The photographs and videos of 14 Branchland Court that he has so unwisely shared with the world showcased to us his filthy bathtub, as well as what appeared to be overflowing bins that looked more like mounds of trash, a kitchen sink overflowing with unwashed plates and cutlery, and even an instance of Chris [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]]. Trolls also managed to [[Rocky Shoemaker call|extract]] from [[Rocky Shoemaker]] that the house was suffering some sort of infestation, which led to [[Bob]] being quarantined after being brought to hospital, and Chris being confined to his room to avoid being bitten. When Chris's last video of the house emerged in the months before the [[Destruction of Chris's House|fire]], it was revealed that the problem had only gotten worse since Bob's passing, with whole rooms literally rendered inaccessible, and some filled almost to the ceiling with items [[Barb]] had hoarded, and with various other rooms reduced to crevices carved into Barb's mountains of junk.

Even after the fire, Chris and Barb have seemingly not amended their habits, as far as housekeeping goes. Photographs of the rental house revealed a steadily growing number of [[Lego]] boxes strewn around, as well as something much more alarming; when Chris was taking photographs of his merchandise for [[eBay]], he inadvertently photographed rat faeces on the carpet as well. When [[Trolls|concerned customers]] pointed this out Chris [[Chris and reality|flatly denied it]], even though [[Honor roll|he had given them photographic proof to the contrary]]. Moreover, after [[Catherine]] visited in [[August 2014]], she recalled seeing junk "piled up to the ceiling" and the dogs not being housebroken and allowed to urinate and defecate in piles of newspaper on the floor. While Chris and Barb returned to the renovated 14 Branchland Court in [[January 2015]], one can only imagine the reaction of the landlord to the state in which they left the house, which, as of [[April 2015]], was still vacant, probably due to the mess they made.

==Vision==
As evidenced by his oversized, [[Pedo-Glasses|aviator-like glasses]], Chris has a vision problem. Judging by pictures of Chris in his youth, it appears that he began wearing glasses around the time he entered high school. The extent of his eyesight problems is anybody's guess. His glasses are often fogged and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty]], thus simultaneously improving and worsening his sight along different feature dimensions. Chris often takes them off when things are [[Stress|"getting serious"]], but keeps them on to [[Chris and English|read]]. This is evident in the video in which he [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_February_10th,_2009|reads a letter from Nintendo]], and in the [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE|"FUTURE MESSAGE"]] video.

One of Chris' relatives, Dr. David Alan Chandler, happens to be an eye doctor whom Chris has seen in the past. The last time Chris was known to have seen him for an appointment was 6 January 2004.

Chris's driver's license has a restrictive condition checked, which commonly means that the driver must wear glasses in order to legally drive. Whether his vision contributed to the [[Son-Chu#Car_trouble|numerous vehicular incidents]] he has been involved in has yet to be seen. However, it is a good bet that Chris should be wearing glasses while driving, for the sake of those sharing the road with him.

==Dental health==
{{Main|Fangs}}
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|right|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Talk about [[honest content]]!]]

Chris's fondness for bearing his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, [[Chris and money|expensive]] dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell (partly due to Chris's [[Chris and cinematography|awful camerawork]]), in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is likely the result of large consumption of [[Fanta|carbonated drinks]], poor dental hygiene, and his refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]]. He seems to be unwilling to brush his teeth, or at least chew some [[Brand loyalty|Orbit gum]].
{{clear}}

==Mental health==
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|left|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of the word.]]
[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto), to schizophrenia (signs include his disorganized speech and writing, loss of contact with [[Chris and reality|reality]], and paranoid ideas about being the victim of persecution or "conspiracies" - such as his delusional belief that [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder]] were somehow responsible for him getting banned from [[Walmart]]).

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him so frustrating to watch—he is incapable of advancing mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics. For over 6 years, he has been led on by various trolls pretending to be [[Sweetheart|young white women]] [[Chris and reality|who are interested in a relationship with him]], and yet he still falls for it time after time. It is Chris's refusal to listen or learn that ensures that he will continue to live in [[Naive|ignorance]], isolation and misery, and until he decides to change, it always will, irrespective of whether his trolls stay interested in him.

It was once thought possible that Chris didn't feel like his life had truly begun, that he was still in the "pre-adult" years — because he remained a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] into his early 30's, and judging by his [[Autism|oversimplified, black-and-white view of the world]] [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|tainted]] [[Video games|by]] [[Chris and reality|fiction]] [[Chris and television|and]] [[Chris and brand loyalty|media messages]], [[Chris and sex#Chris and gender|treatment of women]] and [[Chris and sex|stunted understanding of sexual relationships]], because he saw sex not as a biological or recreational function, or an expression of love, but rather as a rite of passage, of sorts, and he therefore believed that he wasn't able to truly be an adult until he had sex. Chris has lost his virginity, however, and as of yet, has made few to no changes that will tangibly improve his life, in fact he has been plunging himself into debt to buy toys, of all things, as well as a new car. Needless to say, no one expects Chris and Barb to be able to afford to keep the car for long.

Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internet), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism or the trolls themselves for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[sex toys|dildo]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always [[Barbara#Pampering_of_Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. This might simply be [[Barbara]] telling her son what all mothers tell their kids.
* He has an [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|inability to remember faces]]. For example, during the [[Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24 ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Some people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However...]]

In the July 2012 [[This_is_how_the_Trial_went|arraignment]] for his and Barbara's actions at the GAMe PLACe [[28_October_2011|the previous fall]], Chris agreed to a plea bargain, avoiding felony charges and jail time in exchange for, among other things, "mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation," which meant that Chris was forced to undergo legitimate psychiatric treatment (as opposed to simply seeing [[Rocky_Shoemaker|an un-certified pastoral "counselor"]]), or risk being imprisoned. Given that most, if not all of the problems described above persist in some form or another to this day, it seems that Chris reacted to psychiatric treatment in much the same way he reacted to the education system, as it seems that, whatever his psychiatrist said, he took none of it in, probably taking out his [[Ego|anger at being forced to obey the law]] on the psychiatrist by simply refusing to co-operate.

Another mental factor that has affected Chris's overall health is [[stress]]. In August 2013, Chris indicated that the stress he's endured has begun to affect his health, citing a symptom of high blood pressure. In 2016, he implied that he has hypertension.<ref>[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis#Likes]]</ref>

Chris began listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos on YouTube in 2016. On 29 June, he uploaded [[Announcement 06292016|Announcement 06292016-2]], in which he claimed that the music cured his autism:

{{quotebox|Hey [[Fans|fans,]] I forgot one thing to mention. I have- I've actually been on a- subliminal project, as a lot of you- or some of you- might have been... aware of, through my history or whatever... That I try to keep private amongst my YouTube settings.

But I have been enjoying for the past 3 months the "Get Rid of Autism" subliminal. [[Naive|The one that actually works]] in three months so less than [''stutters''] three times per day. 36 times.

I have been doin' that I've actually found myself more mentally capable. I don't- I do not blank out as much, I feel a little bit [[Slow-in-the-minds|faster]] in mental processing... Aaand I feel a whole lot better so with that [''puts out hands''] I'm essentially [[Autism#Autism cured?|cured of autism]]. Oh and also I actually have been able to socialize better out in public, so that's another good deal right there.

I'm gonna put the link underneath this video... And those of y'all with autism... Try for yourself. Three- play it three times, per day... for three months. [''Points to head''] It worked for me. [''Thumbs up'']}}

However, in a November Facebook post, he was back to referring to himself as a "high-functioning autistic person."<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence]]</ref>

==Sexual health==
Bent at a horrifying 45° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease Peyronie's disease] or the result of engaging in dangerous prone masturbation), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive and Chris has other, [[Video games|more]] [[Toys|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayers']]) money.

In correspondence with [[Jackie]], Chris revealed he was checked for STDs in early [[2010]].<ref>[[Jackie e-mails]]</ref> He didn't have any; [[Virgin|you can probably guess why]].

==Tomgirl==
{{see also|Tomgirl}}
===Hormone treatment===
[[File:Like budderin bread - credit to Buck Mullet.gif|thumb|Chris believes this is an appropriate form of hormone therapy.]]
Normally, transgender people plan out their gender transitions with doctors to ensure safety throughout the process, especially if they are taking hormones (which can cause health issues unless strictly monitored according to the patient's health profile).

Unfortunately for Chris, he has done the opposite. In 2015, he acquired '''Oestrogel''', a hormone replacement therapy cream meant for [[Snorlax|post-menopausal women]]. It is meant to be prescription-only, but Chris got around the requirement to see a doctor by ordering it through Offshore Pharmacy<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning</ref>. Oestrogel has health risks, such as fluid retention, weight changes, rise in blood pressure (disastrous for an obese person like Chris) and blood clots<ref name=healthrisks>[http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-89430/estrogel-transdermal/details/list-sideeffects Common and Rare Side Effects for Estrogel transdermal]. WebMD</ref>, and that is when it is applied properly via a small dosage on the arm once per day. He even managed to fail at following the directions on the package, as shown in [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.]], in which he slathers the cream onto his stomach "like butter on bread."

[[Kim Wilson]] revealed that he was taking the hormones in May 2015<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref> and Chris mentioned the drug again as late as August 2016<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning</ref>. Throughout 2015-2016, he repeatedly complained, via Facebook posts, of feeling dizzy and ill, but has failed to connect the dots and see that taking over-dosages of a black-market drug without a physician's approval could be a reason for it.

In addition to Oestrogel, Chris has been taking supplements such as vitamins. He purchased a jar of Solaray Female Hormone Blend Vitamins in August 2016<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/8-10-chris-bought-female-hormone-vitamins.23257/</ref>, which is meant to ease menopausal symptoms. [[Arthur Spatchcock]] also learned that, around [[May 2016]], Chris was fond of eating Fenugreek seeds because he believed it would increase his estrogen levels (being unaware that it would have no effect on him, since he is not on estrogen)<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.661/page-562#post-1475700</ref>.

===Un-clit 2===
In [[July 2016]], Chris posted about [[Un-clit 2.0|a wound on his taint]], announcing that he had gotten it as a result of [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] and would be growing new labia as a result.

A troll with insider info discovered that Chris had actually '''sliced himself open with a knife in order to free the vagina he thought was growing within him.'''

{{quoteboxgreen|So, Chris was feeling up his junk, and he felt something "growing in". He believed his labia were growing in. He knew, logically, that he probably should let it... ahem... "erupt" on its own, because cutting himself open is crazy and he would probably get in trouble. But one night he was drunk and was sad that someone pointed out he didn't have an actual vagina, so he thought he'd help it along.

In the morning he was very embarrassed and sheepish about it. Chris is fucking lucky he posted about it online, and got pestered into getting help by weens, because if he hadn't, he'd probably end up in the hospital, fighting off a potentially lethal infection.

So technically speaking, in Chris logic, it was indeed a wound, but his vagina was going to come out and the wound would heal and everything would be alright.

It's kind of like he was Brundlewoman and he was pulling off his old ear and face and shit, and the beautiful Pam Anderson Christine would be underneath.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-12-21-chris-reminiscences-about-moving-back-into-14bc-after-the-fire.26774/page-7#post-1962817</ref>}}

===Rejected by a blood bank===
In January 2017, Chris complained on Facebook that he had been turned away from a blood drive for being transgender<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref>. He stated that the given reason was "the FDA saw to not accept blood from Transgender people, due to the varying levels of testosterone/estrogen balances in our blood." Chris does not realize how medically sensitive patients will be when receiving blood transfusions, and that it would not be in their interests to be taking blood with hormonal imbalances, especially from Chris, whose blood has been affected by the dangerous intake of the unsupervised Oestrogel drug.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."<ref>[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]]</ref>]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in a photo of a young Chris, his right eye is green.<ref>[[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg]]</ref> He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[Asperger's syndrome]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch and accent. It can also work backwards, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice: autistics often have difficulty distinguishing voice tone. In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal and even deeper than later years, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact he has little to no human interaction; such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're autistic. With enough isolation, this will most likely become permanent.

[[/cwc/|Some]] have pointed out that Chris has an unusually wide [[wikipedia:Nasal septum|septum]], as seen in his [[MySpace]] picture.<ref>[[:File:Myspace.jpg]]</ref> Others go as far as to say he lacks one altogether. The cause of this, like his bent [[duck]], is as yet unknown.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Hair]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

Chris and...

2017-07-03T21:17:43Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Psyche */

{{Disambiguation}}__NOTOC__
'''Chris and...''' can refer to his...

===Life===
*[[Chris and health|Health]]
*[[Chris and religion|Religion]]
*[[Chris and money|Money]]
*[[Chris and sex|Sex]]
*[[Chris and television|Television]]
*[[Chris and fashion|Fashion]]
*[[Chris and brand loyalty|Brand loyalty]]
*[[Chris and gender|Gender]]

===Psyche===
*[[Chris and psychology|Psychology]]
*[[Chris and reality|Reality]]
*[[Chris and hypocrisy|Hypocrisy]]
*[[Chris and anger|Anger]]
*[[Chris and ego|Ego]]
*[[Chris and remorse|Remorse]]
*[[Chris and knowledge|Knowledge]]

===People===
*[[Chris and death|Death]]
*[[Chris and race|Race]]
*[[Chris and politics|Politics]]
*[[Chris and sexism|Sexism]]
*[[Chris and negotiation|Negotiation]]
*[[Chris and the law|The law]]
*[[Chris and the internet|The internet]]

===Comic===
*[[Chris and art|Art]]
*[[Chris and English|English]]
*[[Chris and writing|Writing]]
*[[Chris and the industry|The industry]]
*[[Chris and copyright|Copyright]]
*[[Chris and censorship|Censorship]]

===Skills===
*[[Chris and cinematography|Cinematography]]
*[[Chris and music|Music]]
*[[Chris and cosplaying|Cosplay]]
*[[Spanish]]
*[[Chris and contests|Contests]]

{{Chris and}}

War Paint Video

2017-07-02T19:15:16Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Video */

{{Honest}}
[[Image:Megatron pistol.jpg|thumb|A traditional [[Megatron pistol|weapon]] of the [[Cherokian Clan]]]]

The '''War Paint Video''' (officially titled '''10142009''', not be confused with [[Challenge for Clyde II|another video with same title and posted the same day]]) is a video in which [[Chris]] delivers some sort of poem to the [[trolls]] while wearing "Amerindian" face paint. He then proclaims his proud [[Cherokee]] heritage while at the same time showing a complete [[honor roll|lack of knowledge]] about anything to do with Native American culture by [[Chris and race|repeating tired old Native American stereotypes]].

Also, if one looks close enough, the outline of Chris's [[muscle bra]] is visible through his shirt. There is also a set of [[Plush Breasts]] in the lower left corner of the frame (they are more easily seen in the later [[Brutal Legend]] video).

In July 10, 2015, This video was shown on the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBC7EMkQzzI Drunken Peasants Podcast].

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = War Paint Video
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7R66MxmxinU}}
| stardate = 14 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{WhiteTShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Challenge for Clyde II]]
| next = [[15 October 2009]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''drops [[PS3]] controller; it thunks twice''] Calling all trolls! Calling all trolls! You are at--we are at war! This is war! I will not stand idly by while you [[Chris and English|take heed]] and mock and [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] [[Gal-pals|my friends]] and [[Borb|my family]]. For [[Chris and reality|you have dishonored me]], and I will not stand for it! As I stand upon my native Cherokee heritage, I will-[[Death threats|I will hunt you down you damn dirty trolls!]] This is war. '''AIYAIYAIYAIYAIYAIYAI'''-'''''[[Homos|YAAAAAOIIII]]!!!'''''

[''produces the [[Megatron pistol]] seen in [[CWC is Angry]]''] [[Chris and English|Put down your wares and bring yourselves unto me]]. I will hun--or I will hunt you down and really smite thee! You have been warned with the Cherokee ancestry.

[[Wikipedia:How (greeting)|How]].

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = How Could You, Chris?
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hiiMeui27Qg}}
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/OhhhMyAxels OhhhMyAxels]
| stardate = 15 [[October 2009]]
}}

==See also==
*[[Cherokian Clan]]
*[[ECV 00001]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Challenge for Clyde II]]|nextlink=[[15 October 2009]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-14]]

Obesity

2017-06-30T22:27:27Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Diet */

[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|Look at his "slender" figure.]]]]
[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|180px|The Atkins Diet apparently didn't work on [[Barb]].]]

{{quote|One more thing, [[Chris and reality|I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!]]|Chris, lying to [[White knight emails|White Knight]]}}
{{Quote|I do not feel good hearing remarks or comments that have relation to my gut.|Chris to [[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 6]]</ref>}}

'''Obesity''' is perceived to be a worldwide epidemic, especially in the [[USA]], with about 65% of adults overweight and 26% obese. This is especially apparent in the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home]], in which 100% of its residents are fat: [[Chris]], [[Barbara]], and even [[Chandler Cats|their]] [[Clover and Snoopy|pets]].

Chris seems to be in denial about his own obesity. His denial is evidenced by the fact that he portrays himself as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|a slim, barrel-chested hero]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], when he describes himself as "fit as a fiddle." Furthermore, in his numerous dating profiles discovered by the trolls, he often lists himself as having an "athletic build" or at the very least having weight that is proportionate to his height.

Another example of this was when he created a character for his comics named [[Sammy]], whom Chris stated is based off him when he "temporary[sic] gained weight, became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command," even though he has always been this way. Except, y'know, for the Ghost Command part. But [[Chris and reality|that's]] a whole other problem.

Further cementing his obesity, on [[October 2011|October 2nd, 2011]], Chris's voluptuous manboobs won an award on [https://web-beta.archive.org/web/20111102230501/http://www.manboobs.co.uk/submissions/manboob_of_the_month manboobs.co.uk].

== Exercise ==
[[Image:Cwcspin.gif|right|Exercise]]

Chris believes that standing up without moving is a legitimate form of exercise, and as such considers playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' a workout. During one of his [[PSN]] chats with Julie, when asked to exercise more, he replied, "I'll stand up more". It is not known how Chris came to believe that standing up is exercise, but it is most likely that Chris is simply extremely lazy and will lie to say that he works out every day, even though he just plays [[video games]]. It's possible he's picked it up from health tips that say standing burns more calories than sitting down,<ref>http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/8-ways-to-burn-calories-without-noticing/article16261.html ''Reader's Digest.'' See tip #3</ref><ref>http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/office-exercise/SM00115 ''Mayo Clinic.'' See tip #2</ref> but rather than use such tips to get the most out of an already busy lifestyle, he substitutes it for actual exercise altogether. It's also entirely possible he's in such terrible shape that the simple act of standing tires him as much as an actual workout would tire a normal human being.

[[Emily]] has said Chris power-walks around his neighborhood for thirty minutes and claims it's two miles (3 km), then claims to jog for two or three minutes every walk. She then went on to say Chris doesn't know how to jog — his idea of jogging is actually sprinting. It's safe to say he tries to run at "[[Sonic]] speed" for ten seconds, then resumes his leisurely waddle. This theory is confirmed in [[Sonichu's Edge]].

In [[Mailbag 21]], Chris claimed that he planned on investing in a gym membership. Judging by photographs and videos featuring his midsection from subsequent months, he either lied or wasted his money.

== Diet ==
[[File:Hypnosis for fatter ass.png|thumb|200px|After becoming a [[tomgirl]], Chris wanted to use [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] to magically transform his fat gut and ass into a woman's hourglass figure.]]
Another contribution to Chris' obesity is the food he eats. Chris' [[McDonald's|diet]] is appalling, consisting mainly of fast food and other unhealthy foodstuffs. While it would be acceptable if he treated himself to that stuff occasionally, there's no question that it's a staple of his diet. The sheer amount of calories he consumes, coupled with his laziness, means that he's carrying around enough extra mass to make another person. His diet will most likely also cause problems other than obesity, and may be the cause of his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal leakage]].

In 2017, Chris decided that his ass wasn't fat enough, and began listening to a subliminal hypnosis track in the hopes of transferring his belly fat to his ass, as an attempt to obtain an hourglass figure.

== Actual weight claims ==
[[File:Burlesque1.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's weight in [[June 2015]].]]

Modern measurement of whether someone is overweight/obese generally employs the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_mass_index BMI] system, which creates an index based on the height and weight of an individual. This system is by no means perfect; the readings tend to be inaccurately high for people whose height is abnormally tall, and/or whose bodies are heavily set, because these people have more bone weight than others. However, it is a very accurate system when applied to people of average height and bone structure - which Chris is.

One of the two factors required to calculate BMI is height. Chris claims to be 5'10" (1.78 m),<ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref> which is possible, but even at this height, his BMI would never have been under the "overweight" bracket since he began to record it. Given how readily [[List of Chris's Lies|Chris lies to serve himself]], he may be shorter, which would render his BMI in the "obese" range. In a [[26_December_2014#Police_Scanner_Video|police scanner report]], he was described as being 5'9" (1.75 m). For the sake of simplicity, the BMI data listed below is based on his self-reported height.

* 20 July 2005 - In a [[Diary]] entry, Chris reported that his weight was '''180 pounds''' (about 80 kg) <ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005]]</ref> meaning that during that time his BMI was 25.8, which is overweight.

* Fall 2009 - Chris told Kacey that his weight was somewhere between '''215 and 220 pounds''' (98-100 kg) <ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>, meaning his BMI was between 30.8 and 31.6, nudging him into the obese range.

* Fall 2009 - In a later conversation with Kacey, Chris said that at a recent doctor's visit he had weighed in at '''205 pounds''' (93 kg), down from 216 the last time he had been there.<ref>[[Kacey Call 19]]</ref>

* February 2010 - Chris claimed to weigh "'''about 200 [pounds]'''" (91 kg), and also admitted to having once weighed more than 220 pounds (100 kg). Even if we interpret the words "about 200" to mean 190, his BMI at the time would still be 27.3 i.e overweight, nearing obesity. He also claimed at this time that his goal was to get down to 180 pounds (82 kg).<ref>[[Mailbag 54#Fatty]]</ref>

* October 2010 - In the [[WeighIn|WeighIn video]], Chris claimed to weigh '''216 pounds''' (97 kg). This seems very unrealistic, given his apparent girth and food consumption. Most [[trolls|experts]] believe that Chris either offset his scale by 40 or 50 pounds, or that he did not fully stand on the scale in order to fool people into believing he's not extremely fat. It is also possible that Chris's years of inactivity had caused his muscles to deteriorate to the point that he looked like he weighed more than 250 pounds, when actually he was just 216 pounds of pure fat. Even if we assume that he indeed weighed only 216 lbs at the time, this would still put his BMI at 31, making him '''obese'''.

* April 2012 - Chris announced on Facebook that he was "going down to '''223''' <nowiki>[101 kg]</nowiki> and falling."<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts]]</ref>

* July 2013 - Chris again posted to Facebook that he was "down to '''220'''" (~100 kg).<ref>[[July 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

* October 2013 - Just three months later, Chris told Facebook that according to his doctor's visit he weighed '''211 pounds''' (96 kg), and had lost seven pounds since last he checked.<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

* January 2014 - Chris asserted on Facebook that he weighed "'''about 202 pounds'''" (91 kg). While many would be quick to dismiss this solely on the basis that he eats at McDonald's regularly, at least one report shows that it can't be the sole factor, due to [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2533353/Forget-Super-Size-Me-Man-loses-37lbs-lowers-cholesterol-eating-McDonalds-three-months.html one individual actually ''losing weight'' on a pure McDonald's diet]. However, given the sheer deluge of fast/processed food Chris eats from other places, the non-existence of an exercise regimen, and the simple fact that his face is a lot fatter compared to previous photographs of him, this claim that he weighs 202 pounds is ''very'' dubious.<ref>[[January 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

* October 2014 - Chris defensively told his friend Shaina that he weighed "'''around 200''' <nowiki>[91 kg]</nowiki>, give or take two or three."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails]]</ref>

== Health ==
''Main article: [[Chris and health]]''

Obviously, all this has an adverse effect on Chris' health. Morbidly obese people are far more likely to develop diabetes, heart disease, and a number of other ailments. While it is admittedly possible to be fat '''and''' fit, Chris' lifestyle, combined with ample evidence of his lack of physical prowess, means that this does not apply to him.

== Denial ==
{{Quote|He's fat! Iiiiii'm thin!|Chris breaking out into chorus on [[Alec Benson Leary]]<ref>[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal]]</ref>}}
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|180px|Horizontal stripes are very slimming!]]

Chris has generally been in denial about his weight. A white knight once told him that he needed to lose some weight if he ever wanted to get a girlfriend. Chris responded by freaking out and exclaiming that he wasn't overweight.<ref>[[White knight E-mails#September 2008 .E2.80.94 Chris denies being fat and sexist]]</ref> In [[IRC]], Chris has been known to become very defensive about his weight, always making claims that he works out, when in fact he just stands up while playing ''Guitar Hero''. Chris's reaction to being called fat is precisely the same as his reaction to being called [[homos|gay]]. Unfortunately for Chris, there isn't a [[Homo#Defenses_against_becoming_homo|poster that will help him lose weight]]. He simply screams that he isn't fat, then oftentimes lies, and calls the person accusing him fat. He exhibited this behavior during an email with [[Evan]],<ref>[[Masturbating_and_squirtin%27#Transcript of Chrisreply1evan.jpg|1st email to Evan]]</ref> during his phone call with [[Father Call|Kacey's father]], and especially in his conversation with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], where insults about his weight triggered a screaming rage.

However, during his original rivalry with [[Liquid Chris]], Chris once finally admitted he was perhaps maybe just a little bit fat, but only because he could use this as proof that he was the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler. A similar problem arose during the [[Asperchu]] saga, where Chris, in an attempt to prove that Asperchu was a parody of himself, was forced to admit that Asperchu's "Buddha belly" and "man boobs" are similar to his own. More specifically, he acts as though he ''used'' to have a sagging gut, even though he has, in fact, porked up significantly since [[high school]]. He chose to focus on this aspect of Asperchu rather than admit his more embarrassing failures the series parodies. He did once admit in a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]] that he was not fit.

There is also convincing evidence that [[autism|Chris has difficulty recognizing]] the human figure — faces in particular. His consistent representation of himself as slender and athletic may be attributable to his having formed his self-image during high school, when he would spend hours studying his then-scrawnier self in the mirror, memorizing his looks. However, this is unlikely as Chris has never "spent hours studying" anything.<ref> [[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|''Sonichu'' #7]] - "…I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like…"</ref>

==See also==
* [[Chris and health]]
* [[Muscle bra|Manboobs]]
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Chick-fil-A]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

2017-06-28T00:35:10Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank:

{{Honest}}
{{quote|You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants.|[[Chris]], [[Don'tPintheOop]]}}

[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's gay evil twin shits himself and wets his pants.]]

'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is trollish shorthand used in reference to Chris's troubles with [[Wikipedia:Fecal_leakage|fecal leakage]]. Coined by Chris himself in an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from January 2009, it has quickly become a popular catchphrase.

In short, Chris unwittingly shits himself often. Even after encouragement from his doctor and from his mother, Chris would refuse to wear [[butt garments]] because, according to the [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|Ivy Q&A]], he felt they were for [[Sonee & Rosey|babies]]. He had only one or two episodes where he wore the butt garments; though they were only worn because Ivy told him it was his punishment for cheating on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. Based on his own comments on the subject and those of people who've managed to get close to him (particularly his now-deceased sweetheart [[Ivy]]), [[stress]] tends to inspire these episodes, but at other times he appears to be too lazy, careless, or distracted to bother making his way to a toilet.

==Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
Chris first alluded to difficulty controlling his bowels during a December 2008 [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]] with [[PandaHalo]], where he admitted that he sometimes mistook a bowel movement for gas and shat himself as a consequence. He said it did not happen often, and replied with an emphatic "NO" when Panda suggested that he wear adult diapers to deal with the problem.

Ground zero for the CRAPPED BRIEFS phenomenon was 20 January 2009, when Chris made a bizarre slip while arguing with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] on IRC. When prodded by the trolls concerning his alleged fondness for wearing women's underwear, Chris angrily retorted, "I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS." On further prodding from the trolls, he went on to reveal that most of the time he didn't even realize he'd crapped his briefs until well after the fact.

Later, during the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] episode, Chris shat himself in mid-conversation while sparring with [[BlueSpike]]. Shortly before "Max" forced Chris to shove his [[medallion]] up his ass, he asked if Chris had lost control. Chris first shouted "MAYBE!", and then gave up and admitted "...Yes."

[[Image:Dirtycrappedbriefgoboom.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's typical reaction when "something happens downstairs" in public.]]

On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] that he craps his pants when he's stressed and claimed that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.

On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a [[Mailbag]] correspondent who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it.<ref>[[Mailbag 7]]</ref> Given Chris's gloried history of [[Honest content|bad taste and indiscretion]], this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or, perhaps, he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.

Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john", Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes", as if he's embarrassed to mention them. Yet ironically, DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS are not a personal subject.

In an [[Jackie Chat 9|AIM chat conducted on 20 October 2010]], Chris revealed to [[Jackie]] that on many occasions where he turns what was once white into brown, it slips out painlessly and that he doesn't know until he sits down. In fact, he had shat himself at the exact point where she asked about the term "DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". He blamed it on "stress" that he had from earlier in the session, which involved recalling tales of high school bullying. He then stated that it had happened in previous chats between them and that they might have a "psychic link."

On [[Don'tPintheOop|30 October 2010]], Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he loses control, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall, and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes, everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to ''driving home'' with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the ever expanding list of reasons why not to accept a ride from Chris.

In a [[July 2011]] post on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he now only wears panties and refuses to wear briefs. <ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315]</ref> Ironically, Chris's desperation to prove he does not wear women's underwear is what led him to reveal his "problem" to the world. No word on whether or not Chris has had to deal with DIRTY, CRAPPED PANTIES yet, although evidence suggests he has.

==Ivy on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
[[File:Ship my bed.jpg|thumb|Normal behavior for Chris.]]
[[Ivy]]'s postmortem [[Ivy Q&A|account of her time with Chris]] sheds some more light on Chris's incontinence issues. Chris has had trouble controlling his bowels ever since he was a child, she says, but the problem became more acute after he finished school, especially whenever he got stressed out.

In the spring of 2009, the subject had become a source of serious contention between Chris and [[Barbara]]. At the time, Chris would considerately toss his dirty underwear, still fully loaded with excrement, in the family's communal laundry basket. Eventually they brought up the problem with their doctor, who advised Chris to make changes to his diet and exercise routine, and possibly wear protective garments.

Chris didn't think much of these suggestions, especially the notion that he should wear "diapers" — "[[My Little Pony|That's]] [[Lego|for]] [[Toys|babies]]!" was his comment. At first, Barbara tried to force the issue by refusing to do his laundry, in the hope that Chris would either wear the diapers or actually do the adult thing and start washing his own clothes. Of course, Chris did neither; a short while later he was called by a troll who pretended to be Clyde Cash and made a series of [[death threats]], making Chris genuinely afraid for his life and leading to him dropping a massive load in his sheets while asleep that night. After that, Barb relented and started washing Chris's laundry again.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> As of now, thankfully for us, we have yet to see the after-effects of the DIRTY, CRAPPED BED.

Additionally, given the filthy condition of the Chandler house, this is also a straight-up guarantee that Chris, Barbara, Bob (when he was alive), and nearly anyone who enters his house enters a dung cave of no escape: having to deal with Chris' shit leaves you coated in it, both metaphorically and literally. [http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/washing-machines-loaded-bacteria-dirty-clothes/story?id=10751420]

It's a particularly Chris-like sort of irony that he finds the suggestion of wearing diapers an insult to his maturity level, but sees no implications regarding that same maturity in the fact that he routinely shits his pants.

==Menstrual pads==
During the [[Tomgirl Saga]], the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] leaked images of Chris holding a box of feminine hygiene pads<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.661/page-526#post-1298729</ref> and explained the context:

{{quoteboxred|Heh, also, Chris got these to control his pants shitting. See, the doctor suggested Chris get diapers, but he screeched "but dose are for baybeeees!! :c"

Now that he can use menstrual pads instead, that's A-OK for a beautiful young flower like Christine.}}

<center><gallery>
File:Cwc Menstrual pads 1.jpeg
File:Cwc Menstrual pads 2.jpeg
</gallery></center>

In 2015's [[A little song and dance]], a box of pads is clearly visible behind Chris, while he "dances" in his bedroom.

In a [[Paid Video Requests#Singing "Yellow Submarine"|paid video]] from 2016, Chris knocked over the camera, revealing an upskirt shot of him wearing a pantiliner. He reacted angrily to comments about it<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#IT'S A PANTYLINER, NOT A DIAPER!]]</ref>:

{{quotebox|Ugh! Dumb People! What you saw in the Accidental crotch shot were my Panties, Pantyliner, and Pantyhose. No Diaper! What the hell is wrong with some people? }}

==IRC Transcript ==
21:13 <@[[Clyde Cash|clydeC]]> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
 21:13 <%[[Christian Weston Chandler|ChrisChanSonichu]]> That, sir is INCORRECT.
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[Tomgirl|YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[:Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|OH WAIT,]] [[Muscle bra|YOU HAVE!]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 21:13 <@[[BILLY_MAYS]]> ZING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
 21:14 <@clydeC> [[Tomgirl|IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL]]
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
 21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
 21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
 21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
 21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
 21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
 21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
 '''21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.'''
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> [[Ego#Surrendering Information|WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION]]
 21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
 21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
 21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS

==Sources==
<references />
* [[IRC (20 January 2009)|Complete transcript of the chat containing the revelation.]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms|Dirty Crapped Briefs]]

April 2017 Facebook posts

2017-06-26T02:27:43Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Chris explains why he won't get a job */

{{see also|2017 tweets#April}}

This page is an archive of Chris' [[Facebook]] posts during [[April 2017]]. Posts are sorted by date and linked to the source material from Facebook. Notable comments will be archived and color-coded for reference; those who consistently respond to Chris' posts, e.g. [[William Elliott Waterman]] and Jessica Quinn, are colored in red and green respectively, while infrequent responders are colored in orange, yellow or purple.

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1352072308220578 Hyping up the raffle]==
1 April at 11:48 pm

{{quotebox|Official Video for the new figure created on March 17, 2017 will be on YouTube on my channel, only, at 4:00 PM, EST/GST, Sunday April 2, 2017. Who from Cwcville is this figure of?

Also, reminder and details of the Giveaway in the video and details; Deadline for that is April 30, 2017. And more stamp covers will be added onto my eBay shop as soon as possible. Buy at least one for your entry into the Random Drawing on May 1, 2017.

TOTES SWAG!

[[File:Raffle1.jpeg|200px]]
}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1352835278144281 More Son-Chu photos]==
2 April at 4:23 pm

{{quotebox|And now, more Son-Chu photos for your enjoyment.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1353923981368744 Another gimmick for stamp sales]==
3 April at 6:41 pm

{{quotebox|**REMINDER AND BONUS UPDATE**

Buy the sentimental and collectible Beginners Stamp Book of mine, with various collectible stamps and 10 random stamp covers from my father's collection to automatically receive one of two limited-made Son-Chu figure with accessories, a Skylanders Imaginators CWC Figure, and a Skylander-functional card.

**BONUS** If sold Now, I will add five large t-shirts of my self-Skylander character, as seen in the review video, to five of the 15 character card winners, and the one big randomly selected winner.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1354158274678648 Chris explains why he won't get a job]==
Chris then raged in the comments after his IRL friend and [[Kim Wilson]] told him to get a job anyway.

4 April, 3:01 am

{{quotebox|People online tell me to "Get a job". I Can't get an application-required job, because [[Ego|the bullies and internet trolls have totally ruined my background check YEARS ago]]. I also Fear being discriminated against because not only of my autism/mental handicap, but now to add that I am a transwoman and a lesbian; I am sick of hate-filled people and the insincere ones too. The top reason why I don't "get a job" is because [[Chris and reality|I already had an Have a full-time job of caretaking my father before he passed on in 2011, AND my mother]]. AND I have [[Chris and English|a subtle and lingering shocks]] that I am still having impressive difficulty shaking off that keep me from feeling like drawing and writing for my books. You Trolls and Bullies do not understand my long-troubled mind.
[[Stress Sigh|**sigh**]]}}

He then linked to a Huffington Post article about how [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/transgender-housing-discrimination_us_58dd5898e4b08194e3b86483?okv "landlords keep out transgender renters."]

'''Comments'''

Alexa P.

{{quoteboxorange| Christine, my mom works for an organization called DARS, or Virginia Department for Aging and Rehabilitative Services. They help for those in your exact situation-they help you with finding a job that suits your needs (even with your schedule since you are taking care of your mother, your shocks, etc.) and find an employer that will not discriminate against you for any reason (although any employer should not be doing that.) DARS helped me go to JMU, and best of all it is free, you do not have to pay back for their services. I can PM you my mom's contact information and she can meet with you to discuss job opportunities. Just go to 1 appointment, I really think it can help you. I agree on those that just say "get a job" when there is no support for you, but I really do think DARS can be that support.}}

Kim Wilson

{{quoteboxred|Christine Weston Chandler Don't you remember? We've talked about this. I pointed out that your criminal background check for most jobs would be clean, so there's nothing keeping you from getting a job.

We talk and then when I explain that to you, you don't have anything else to say. We conclude that you just don't want to get a job because it's too much work.

And that's fine! Keep reminding yourself: you choose not to get a job because it doesn't fit in with your lifestyle. There's nothing forcing you to live such a bohemian lifestyle, it's your choice.

Say it every day: I love being an impoverished artist because I choose my art over financial stability, and that's OK! }}

Chris

{{quotebox| Ugh! The point is that I am prone to anxiety and shock. I have a lot of fears, including that which I have stated in this post. The result is [[Stress|my brain becomes mid-difficult paralyzed, or even Numb with greater, consistent amounts of shock moments in my life. What if something gets to me deep while at work, then I am left unable to function for a while, even Hours?]] Fired! What if the stress is super great that I end up making the whole building floor go silent after [[12 January 2010|an impulsive and Loud shout]]? Fired! And maybe even [[List of places that have banned Chris|Banned for Life]]. You have not been where and when I was employed, and around people; I was the epicenter. And nobody wants to hire an anxiety-prone lesbian transwoman whose Google Search shows [[For Julie's Eyes Only|a sex doll-humping gif]] and [[Cakefarts|my bare behind sitting on an $11 cake]], among which, because I was easily duped and blackmailed by a number of Cyberbullies and Internet Trolls pretending to be sincere-and-honest-for-my-heart women on EVERY DATING WEBSITE ON THE FREAKING INTERNET! Oh, My Gosh!!! UGH!!!}}

Kim Wilson

{{quoteboxred|Christine Weston Chandler No, the types of jobs your resume would qualify you for don't care about your personal life.

To be fair, you really just don't want to apply for jobs. And like I said, that's OK. Not everyone wants to work.

(To clarify, it's OK not to work when you don't need money.)

The things you're describing (stress at work) are actually very normal. You really just don't want to get a job. That's all it is. }}

Alexa P.

{{quoteboxorange| DARS prevents that type of thing happening, they will talk with your employer on your behalf to make sure you are not fired because of your disability or any "issues". But like your friend Kim said, if you don't want to work that's cool, I was under the impression that you did.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1354998207927988 Whining about the mortgage]==
He continued his rant from the previous post in the comments.

4 April, 7:33 pm

{{quotebox|I Really Do Not Like Seterus Mortgage. My mother scheduled a payment of the one past due amount, and then they go behind us to get the remainder for one month, Leaving my mother's bank account in the red by more than $800!

F***ing Seterus! I really wish SunTrust had never referred our Mortgage to them. UGH! [https://www.seterus.com/ seterus.com]}}

'''Comments'''

Kim Wilson

{{quoteboxred| Christine Weston Chandler Oh wow, are you in financial trouble?

You should ignore my last comment then! You should start applying for jobs ASAP!

Interviewing for jobs is hard, but you can do it. For my past few jobs, I applied to between 30 to 40 places before I got an offer. You should start applying now!}}

Quinn

{{quoteboxgreen|Didn't someone pay for new comic pages a while back? Maybe you could get back into that if it's a guaranteed money maker. Just a thought.}}

Chris

{{quotebox| Copy-Past the last comment I typed here, and then add:

Do you think it is snap-my-fingers easy to FEEL like drawing my pages? NO. I have been under so much lingering stress in my head, it is no wonder I fall into random mental paralysis that derail any train of thought I would have at that moment. How do y'all think my mother and I are feeling right now?

Someone, PLEASE buy the stamp album already and the high-priced covers on my shop already!

I am stuck as a caretaker of my mother and our pets; even that overwhelms me. I do not feel I would be mentally suited for an application-required, long waits to be contacted or not contacted, "am I hired yet", under "The Man", Freaking job!!! Stop Telling me to "Get a Job". Gawd!!!}}

Quinn

{{quoteboxgreen|Wow, ok. I wasn't expecting this first thing in the morning.

I'm just saying you need to find a stable source of income instead of relying on people buying things for you or asking for donations. I just assumed that doing what you supposedly like to do could be a solid way to help you out. I sort of figured it was a no brainer if you were really that desperate.

In all honesty, I don't know anyone who collects stamps. As such, it's a very limited market and I'm not sure those who are interested would agree with the amount you asked for depending on the actual value of the stamps. But like I said, I don't know much about it.}}

Kim Wilson

{{quoteboxred| Christine Weston Chandler I'm confused.

To people reading your facebook, it sounds like you really need money sometimes.

But then they see that you're not trying to find a job. That means that you don't actually need money.

Which is it?

If you don't apply for jobs, you really don't need money. People reading your posts think that. They really do. I have friends who have seen you at your pokemon events, and every one of them thinks you're lying about needing money, because you don't have a job and you have lots of toys.

If you want money, you need to apply for jobs. A lot of them, like 30 to 40.}}

Quinn

{{quoteboxgreen|She's right you know. It's best to take a step back and make some priorities in your life.

It's very frustrating to continually hear you bemoan your situation if you, yourself, the only one who can really do anything about it, chooses not to put any effort into anything when it's even slightly inconvenient for you. 🙁
}}

{{quoteboxgreen| For instance, the "long wait" is a problem? What exactly else do you have going on? You have nothing to lose by throwing out applications.

I really wish you would try to adjust your perspective.
}}

Chris

{{quotebox|Need Money! [[Lie|Why am I selling my father's stamp collection on eBay? DUH!]]}}

Kim Wilson

{{quoteboxred|Christine Weston Chandler Because you merely want money, you don't need it. People who need money get jobs.}}

Quinn

{{quoteboxgreen|You're either not reading our advice or are too stubborn to listen. There are some extremely simple money making options available to you but you're choosing to go the least reliable route.

I wish you'd listen once in a while hon, your life could be so much easier.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1355877391173403 Begging for sale of $1,000 album]==
5 April, 2:55 pm

Chris reposted the stamp album announcement from 3 April, but deleted the part about a chance to win T-shirts and replaced it with begging. He kept the "bonus update" heading, though.

{{quotebox|**REMINDER AND BONUS UPDATE**

Buy the sentimental and collectible Beginners Stamp Book of mine, with various collectible stamps and 10 random stamp covers from my father's collection to automatically receive one of two limited-made Son-Chu figure with accessories, a Skylanders Imaginators CWC Figure, and a Skylander-functional card.

And it would Really help me and my mother right now, Please!}}

'''Comments'''

Chris

{{quotebox|Hey! Do not Hate on me!

[[File:Fb haters.jpeg|200px]]}}

Quinn

{{quoteboxgreen|* Stress Sigh *}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1358429967584812 Sonic Totem and More]==
7 April, 4:14 pm

Chris linked to [[Sonic Totem and More]] and the [[eBay]] listing for it.

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1358739764220499 Totem has been sold]==
7 April, 10:35 pm

{{quotebox|The totem has been sold, Thank You! :D Now to sell the Stamp Album, and the UN Stamp Covers. Plenty of chances to Win, so shop now! https://www.ebay.com/itm/282420279160 ‬}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1359998037428005 Mostly like Ellen Page]==
9 April, 1:03 am

{{quotebox|Ellen Page, and her bio does resonate of me.}}

He then screen-capped the bio, and continued:

{{quotebox|Although I feel uncertain of the "self-sufficient" aspect.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1363277860433356 Captain's log and reaction videos]==
12 April, 1:05 am

{{quotebox|**ANNOUNCEMENT**

Who likes People React videos? I am considering doing a React video, aside from the return to a weekly "Captain's Log" thing. And what I am considering allowing all to see is my reactions to the Saturday Night Live episode from 2015 with guest host, Donald Trump. If you'd like to see this, leave a Lot of "Ha Ha"-type Likes (hold Like and select the laughing face). If that reaches over a hundred by Saturday, I will do it as a Live Stream on YouTube on Saturday Night.}}

He met his target goal within one hour.

One of his IRL friends tried to dissuade him.

{{quoteboxyellow|I advise against it.}}

Chris didn't listen and went ahead with [[React to SNL 41-4 Darn Ol' Tramp 45|the reaction video]].

==[https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1363359020425240&set=a.110060325755122.19471.100002534669114&type=3 New profile photo]==
12 April, 2:59 am

[[File:Profile photo April 2017.jpg|250px]]

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1363898367037972 Transformed face]==
12 April, 1:56 pm

{{quotebox|Ever wanted to make a Transformer face of your self? I did, and there is a story behind this reasoning, canon to the Son-Chu parts of the Sonichu books, of which I will go over in the first returning Captain's Log video this Friday. Also, dig it, my eyes can be seen through Optimus' helmet.

<center><gallery>
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg
File:Cwc transformer2.jpg
File:Cwc transformer3.jpg
</gallery></center>
}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1364333713661104 MLP name]==
12 April, 11:24 pm

[[File:Mlp name.jpeg|200px]]

==[https://www.facebook.com/NEWSLGBT/posts/1516910434994734?comment_id=1517309311621513&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R0%22%7D Tired of tucking in]==
13 April, 6:44 pm

Chris commented on a quote from Caitlyn Jenner, reading: "I am also tired of tucking the damn thing in all the time."

{{quotebox|What Caitlyn said about how she feels tucking it in, Me too of [[Duck|tucking mine in]].}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1368045623289913 Happy Easter]==
16 April, 9:29 am

Facebook indicated this post was made from Zion Crossroads, VA.

{{quotebox|Happy Easter Sunday.

[[File:Easter2017card1.jpeg|200px]]
[[File:Easter2017card2.jpeg|200px]]
}}

'''Comments'''

Quinn:

{{quoteboxgreen| How cute. Did someone send you this or is it for someone else?}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|I found the card at Wal-Mart.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1369194933174982 Half-price on stamp album]==
17 April, 9:43 am

{{quotebox|**Price Update**

Buy It Now for half price, $500. Please, Buy It Now for your Automatic Win, Today, and to help me and my mother here.}}

He linked to his [[Stamps|stamp album]] listing.

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1369441543150321 Fleena mokka]==
17 April, 3:21 pm

{{quotebox|Fleena mokka, Peena pokka, inkie pinkie poo boo}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1369857619775380 Femme Lesbian]==
18 April, 2:28 am

{{quotebox|I'm a Femme Lesbian. }}

He linked to a game.

'''Comments'''

Quinn:
{{quoteboxgreen|What does that mean?}}

Chris:
''[He uploaded a screenshot of the game result]''

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1370409256386883 I hate Aprils]==
18 April, 3:52 pm

{{quotebox|**April is a Month-Long MONDAY, and Everyone Dislikes Mondays. And I just joined the Dislike (the month of) April Club, after the recent days I have been enduring.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1370725159688626:0 Pizza?]==
18 April, 10:43 pm

{{quotebox|Pizza?}}

He tagged numerous friends, such as [[Kim Wilson]] and Jessica Quinn.

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1370795146348294 Offering six Sonichu drawings for $2,000]==
19 April, 12:03 am

{{quotebox|Nerd Deal of the century! Buy six valuable Certified Sonichu and Rosechu drawings at 6 for the price of four, and Really Help my household, as we are in the red right now, and this amount will bring us back into the black very well. About more than $1450 in the red to be bloody specific. PLEASE BUY RIGHT NOW!

Will also add another set of the giveaway prizes for this purchase as well. Thank you.}}

He linked to the [[eBay]] listing.

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1370850329676109 Offering The Classic shirt for $12,000 minimum]==
19 April, 1:30 am

{{quotebox|You all ask, and you all wanted to know about, the striped shirt of mine as constantly drawn in my Sonichu comic books.

I previously stated that I lost the iconic shirt in the house Fire of January 10, 2017. Actually, that shirt was Not totally lost in that fire; to my recollection, it was in a mountain pile of laundry in the laundry room. So, more accurately, it was in one of the black bags down here. I have just dug through the dirty half of those bags, more than ten or twenty of them. Then, in a bag of damp ones, I found the shirt. I took a photo; part of the selling amount will go to better restoring the shirt; I am personally putting it through a page or two in my washer and dryer. Only after sale of the relic, I will be able to afford having it restored to its glory, and I will frame it and add a personal Certificate of Authenticity, before shipping it. Thank you.}}

He linked to the [[eBay]] listing.

==[https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1370954532999022&set=a.278642068896946.64983.100002534669114&type=3 Shirt update]==
19 April, 3:53 am

{{quotebox|Just got the shirt out of the dryer; it is clean, no odor; it will still be restored with mending and hopefully put the white back in where that became pink, after the sale and receipt of money. So, Buy It Now.

[[File:Classic post-fire 2.jpeg|250px]]}}

He linked to his eBay listing and rated his post Love.

'''Comments'''

Marie:
{{quoteboxorange| It looks like it's falling apart }}

Chris:
{{quotebox|Yeah, which is why part of the final sale will be used to restore it.}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|Be glad I found it.}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|I'll probably have another cold or something; my throat felt the familiar scratchy after going through those bags; a few of them had wet dirt and wall lining in them. Dang house fire.}}

Marie:
{{quoteboxorange|The wet dirt smell was more than likely mold, be careful digging around in that, it can get you pretty sick if you're not careful }}

Chris:
{{quotebox|Tell me about it; like cat litter.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/videos/1371901662904309/ Shirt slideshow]==
19 April, 11:33 pm

Chris uploaded a slideshow of The Classic shirt of images he had posted earlier.

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1373024389458703 Shared memory post]==
20 April, 10:45 pm

Chris saw his own post from 4 years ago and shared it.

Marie:

{{quoteboxorange|What is on your cheeks?}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|I think a bit of paint; I forgot why from that day.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/LizzyTheLezzy/posts/10154449496186863?comment_id=10154450504786863&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R0%22%7D Unicorn frappuccino]==
21 April, 11:42 pm

{{quotebox|That is a shame, because I enjoyed a venti Unicorn Frap, and it was good. Even fun, when ordering it, I told the clerk, "Give me a Venti Alicorn".

I have something to say to the barista who got pinked. Suck It Up, Dude! You can just wash it off; it is not a big deal. Pinkie Pie would lick the pink sugar off her fingers. And when I dig into a cutie orange, I get some orange-yellow color on my fingernails. Do I complain and end the existence of Oranges? No; I wash my hands at the next opportune moment. Do NOT ruin the Pride of the Unicorn, Pegasus, Earth Ponies, and Alicorns from us all. (Puns intended) And to #Starbucks, Please Do offer the Unicorn Frappechino again in the future.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1375298925897916 Barb borrowed from life insurance]==
22 April, 10:08 pm

{{quotebox|**Minor Update**

My mother borrowed from our Life Insurance Thursday; I shipped the totem out of that the same day; the remainder of that money got her bank account back into the black, as well as some groceries; Californian fan received the totem Friday; eBay released the funds back to my PayPal and it's back in black. Yes, the shirt's auction has ended high, but I am still awaiting payment from the mother of one of my fans, who, unless remains anonymous, will have her name go down in History for not only restoring a very Iconic Artifact, but also improves this artist's family's life, After the restoration and disinfection of the shirt. Her most grateful son will be proud of her for having gone down in history for Restoring the Fire-Survivor Iconic Shirt of Sonichu and Rosechu's Creator. Thank You, Missus. }}

==[https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1375300829231059&set=a.278642068896946.64983.100002534669114&type=3 Unicorn Frappucino photo]==
22 April, 10:11 pm

{{quotebox|I also enjoyed the Unicorn Frappucino from Starbucks; I hope they bring it back for a longer time in the future; it was yummy.

[[File:Starbucks.jpeg|250px]]}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/lgbtqnation/posts/10154493714391717?comment_id=10154495703501717&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R9%22%7D Graffiti on Trump star]==
24 April, 11:55 pm

{{quotebox|I wish that guy used spray paint, or something more permanent.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1378434515584357 Stamp album reminder]==
25 April, 4:52 pm

{{quotebox|Reminder that the stamp book, With Bonuses, is still available, Only until April 30, 2017. Get all this for only $500 Now! Wow!}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1378489652245510 Prone to sweating]==
25 April, 6:12 pm

{{quotebox|I've noticed that I'm prone to perspiration; just an open question for any suggestions to quell the sweat, "no sweat".}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1378878892206586 Shared link for trans news]==
26 April, 4:31 am

Chris shared an article titled "Safer Sex for Trans Bodies"

==Making conversation==
27 April, 2:02 am

A person on Facebook posted a photo of him hanging out with his dad at a restaurant named Royal Oaks. Most comments were either about the restaurant or complimenting the photo.

Chris tried to relate to the conversation by bringing up cartoon characters, even citing the episode they appeared in.

{{quotebox|Bugs and Daffy did too; they went to the Royal Oaks, Glen Oaks, Oakley Oaks Community Club. Lola and her family are there regularly. "The Looney Tunes Show", season 1, episode 2.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/lgbtqnation/posts/10154499568256717?comment_id=10154500920916717&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R9%22%7D Would you vote for Caitlyn Jenner?]==
27 April, 3:17 am

{{quotebox|Yes, I believe I would vote for Caitlyn.}}

Victor B. disagreed with him.

{{quoteboxgreen|Caitlyn has been nothing but a thorn in the side of the trans community.}}

Adam E. then informed Victor that he was responding to Chris Chan.

{{quoteboxred|Victor, you're talking to Chris-Chan (google it real quick). I don't think you can soundly expect reason.}}

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1380509488710193 C-Log 04272017]==
27 April, 4:05 pm

{{quotebox|Plus, last chance to get the Good Bonuses before Sunday with purchase of the stamp album.}}

He linked to [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]] and his eBay listing.

==[https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1383126971781778?comment_id=1383219135105895&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R%22%7D Repairing The Classic]==
29 April, 10:15 pm

{{quotebox|Could any of you haters sew any better? The hole was large; I sewed as good as possible, then I reinforced the latter with the patch covers. [[Ego|If anything, this not only keeps it as iconic, but marks it as another masterpiece from myself, making it worth more.]]}}

{{facebook}}

Chris and his ego

2017-06-17T02:32:19Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Antisocial personality disorder */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}
{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (King James Version)]]}}

[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]

'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris]]'s flaws. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved wife, children and home).]]

==Origins==
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris and reality#In the Real World|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. But Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him]].

===The enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}

Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a 30-year-old man with autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-minds|high functioning]]" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems, from emotional disorders to mental retardation, live far more independently than Chris does.

For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and money}}
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a "[[monthly tugboat]]" as he calls it. Although intended to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[vidya]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for admiration]], and [[Chris and remorse|lack of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Chris and art|exaggerates]] [[CADD|achievements]] and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]]).

2. Is preoccupied with [[Dreams|fantasies]] of unlimited success, power, brilliance, [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|ideal love]].

3. Believes that he or she is "special" and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]]. (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] favorable treatment or [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|automatic compliance with his or her expectations]].

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]].

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan Schroeder|feelings and needs]] [[The Wallflower|of others]].

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her.

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]].}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Antisocial personality disorder==
It's also entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Antisocial personality disorder|antisocial personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM V, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines antisocial personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

The essential features of a personality disorder are impairments in personality (self and interpersonal) functioning and the presence of pathological personality traits. To diagnose antisocial personality disorder, the following criteria must be met:

A. Significant impairments in personality functioning manifest by:
1. Impairments in self functioning (a or b):
a. Identity: Ego-centrism; self-esteem derived from personal gain, [[power]], or [[China|pleasure]].
b. Self-direction: Goal-setting based on [[Love Quest|personal gratification]]; absence of prosocial internal standards associated with [[Chris and the law|failure to conform to lawful]] or [[Attraction sign|culturally normative ethical behavior]].

AND

2. Impairments in interpersonal functioning (a or b):
a. [[Chris and death|Empathy]]: Lack of concern for feelings, needs, or [[Ryan Cash|suffering of others]]; lack of [[remorse]] after [[Gal-pals|hurting or mistreating another]].
b. Intimacy: Incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, as exploitation is a primary means of relating to others, including by deceit and coercion; use of dominance or intimidation to control others.

B. Pathological personality traits in the following domains:
1. Antagonism, characterized by:
a. Manipulativeness: Frequent use of subterfuge to influence or control others; use of seduction, charm, glibness, or ingratiation to achieve [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|one's ends]].
b. [[List of Chris's lies|Deceitfulness]]: Dishonesty and fraudulence; [[Alec Benson Leary calls|misrepresentation of self]]; embellishment or [[Chris and reality|fabrication when relating events]].
c. [[Chris and remorse|Callousness]]: Lack of concern for feelings or problems of others; lack of guilt or remorse about the [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|negative]] [[Twin Falling Towers|or harmful effects]] of one's [[Megan Schroeder|actions]] [[Kacey|on]] [[The Wallflower|others]]; [[Chris and anger|aggression]]; sadism.
d. Hostility: [[Michael Snyder|Persistent or frequent angry feelings]]; anger or irritability in response to [[Kick the Autistic|minor slights and insults]]; mean, nasty, or [[Death threats|vengeful behavior]].

2. Disinhibition, characterized by:
a. [[Father Call|Irresponsibility]]: Disregard for – and failure to honor – [[Chris and money|financial]] and [[Chores|other obligations or commitments]]; lack of respect for – and [[Jackie e-mails|lack of follow through]] on – [[Kacey calls|agreements and promises]].
b. Impulsivity: [[Mary Lee Walsh|Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli]]; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; [[Stress|difficulty establishing and following plans]].
c. Risk taking: Engagement in [[Un-clit 2.0|dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities]], unnecessarily and without regard for consequences; boredom proneness and thoughtless initiation of activities to counter boredom; lack of concern for one's limitations and denial of the reality of [[14 Branchland Court|personal]] [[Chris and health|danger]].

C. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are relatively stable across time and consistent across situations.

D. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not better understood as normative for the individual‟s developmental stage or sociocultural environment.

E. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not solely due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma).

F. The individual is at least age 18 years.}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris.

==Manifestations==
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.

But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.

===Fixation on self-image===
Chris has created many avatars of himself through several mediums.

<center><gallery>
File:Comic CWC.PNG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].
File:Chris Lego.jpg|As a Lego figure.
File:ThreePieceSetA.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christian.
File:ThreePieceSetC.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christine.
File:AmiiboSet.jpg|As [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]]. From left to right, Christian, Chris Chan Sonichu, Christine. Chris sold these through [[Etsy]].
File:Lego Christines.png|Another Lego figure of his 2015 [[Tomgirl]] self.
File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|[[Christine Doll]], pictured on left.
File:Chris skylanders avatar.jpg|Skylanders avatar.
File:Skylanders swag.png|A shirt, card and 3D figure of his Skylanders avatar, costing him $90 from the company.
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg|As a Transformer.
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg ‎|As a [[MLP]] character.
</gallery></center>

===Persecution complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, walking through the shadow of the valley of death.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]-violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] to becoming the social outcast that we all know and tolerate), thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===
{{Main|Naïve}}

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising china or threatening his identity. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a -mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would tell if we end up seeing Chris [[Cosplay|cosplaying]] or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. It's pretty obvious that Chris had only done this because he believed that he would score with Jackie sooner or later.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}

Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.

===Materialism===
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that,to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats homos, seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===
{{Main|Chris and the Internet}}
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's post contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards in amplexus, thumbnails of tribadism, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a china-shaped lemon--his description for the picture ''bragged'' about how [[JERKS]] would be offended by it.

===Paranoia===
One of the worst things that comes out of Chris's ego is his bloated sense of paranoia. As mentioned above, Chris has taken to withholding certain information from trolls like an animal being shocked by a shock collar. However, this line of thinking has pushed Chris into believing that the entire world is out to get him. In early days, it was actually simple - Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh were conspiring to stop him from succeeding in his Love Quest. However, after the incident with [[The Wallflower]] and the realization that there's entire webpages devoted to him, it's caused him to see things in a bigger, yet disturbing picture.

As such, Chris has decided to become a recluse, refusing to make friends with anyone unless he knew him in the real world. However, this is a double-edged sword as Chris refuses to interact with anyone in the real world as well. In the real world, if someone spotted Chris and knew him by name, even if they had heard of him from whatever remaining place is left for him to go to, he panics and runs, fearing that the person is actually a troll seeking to spread more information about him across the Internet. As well, if someone wanted to contact Chris through other means, even if that person had no idea who Chris was or what Sonichu was or anything that the trolls had done, Chris will shut them out because he doesn't know who they are and thus, has relegated them to the title of "troll".

A perfect example of this was revealed in a series of Facebook screenshots. While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted him, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.]]

===Surrendering Information===
If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. The ongoing [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Soiled Underpants Saga]] is the shining example of this.

Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris' experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.

In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post in particular revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''

The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brushfire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.

===Fishing for sympathy===
In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the Father Call, where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter (note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.) In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his Facebook entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler, and his friend, Anna McLerran is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his [[autism|being autistic]], has poisoned Chris' mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the white knights. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{Clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and his ego

2017-06-17T02:32:00Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Antisocial personality disorder */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}
{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (King James Version)]]}}

[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]

'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris]]'s flaws. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved wife, children and home).]]

==Origins==
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris and reality#In the Real World|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. But Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him]].

===The enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}

Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a 30-year-old man with autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-minds|high functioning]]" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems, from emotional disorders to mental retardation, live far more independently than Chris does.

For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and money}}
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a "[[monthly tugboat]]" as he calls it. Although intended to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[vidya]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for admiration]], and [[Chris and remorse|lack of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Chris and art|exaggerates]] [[CADD|achievements]] and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]]).

2. Is preoccupied with [[Dreams|fantasies]] of unlimited success, power, brilliance, [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|ideal love]].

3. Believes that he or she is "special" and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]]. (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] favorable treatment or [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|automatic compliance with his or her expectations]].

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]].

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan Schroeder|feelings and needs]] [[The Wallflower|of others]].

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her.

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]].}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Antisocial personality disorder==
It's also entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Antisocial personality disorder|antisocial personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM V, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines antisocial personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

The essential features of a personality disorder are impairments in personality (self and interpersonal) functioning and the presence of pathological personality traits. To diagnose antisocial personality disorder, the following criteria must be met:

A. Significant impairments in personality functioning manifest by:
1. Impairments in self functioning (a or b):
a. Identity: Ego-centrism; self-esteem derived from personal gain, [[power]], or [[China|pleasure]].
b. Self-direction: Goal-setting based on [[Love Quest|personal gratification]]; absence of prosocial internal standards associated with [[Chris and the law|failure to conform to lawful]] or [[Attarction sign|culturally normative ethical behavior]].

AND

2. Impairments in interpersonal functioning (a or b):
a. [[Chris and death|Empathy]]: Lack of concern for feelings, needs, or [[Ryan Cash|suffering of others]]; lack of [[remorse]] after [[Gal-pals|hurting or mistreating another]].
b. Intimacy: Incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, as exploitation is a primary means of relating to others, including by deceit and coercion; use of dominance or intimidation to control others.

B. Pathological personality traits in the following domains:
1. Antagonism, characterized by:
a. Manipulativeness: Frequent use of subterfuge to influence or control others; use of seduction, charm, glibness, or ingratiation to achieve [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|one's ends]].
b. [[List of Chris's lies|Deceitfulness]]: Dishonesty and fraudulence; [[Alec Benson Leary calls|misrepresentation of self]]; embellishment or [[Chris and reality|fabrication when relating events]].
c. [[Chris and remorse|Callousness]]: Lack of concern for feelings or problems of others; lack of guilt or remorse about the [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|negative]] [[Twin Falling Towers|or harmful effects]] of one's [[Megan Schroeder|actions]] [[Kacey|on]] [[The Wallflower|others]]; [[Chris and anger|aggression]]; sadism.
d. Hostility: [[Michael Snyder|Persistent or frequent angry feelings]]; anger or irritability in response to [[Kick the Autistic|minor slights and insults]]; mean, nasty, or [[Death threats|vengeful behavior]].

2. Disinhibition, characterized by:
a. [[Father Call|Irresponsibility]]: Disregard for – and failure to honor – [[Chris and money|financial]] and [[Chores|other obligations or commitments]]; lack of respect for – and [[Jackie e-mails|lack of follow through]] on – [[Kacey calls|agreements and promises]].
b. Impulsivity: [[Mary Lee Walsh|Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli]]; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; [[Stress|difficulty establishing and following plans]].
c. Risk taking: Engagement in [[Un-clit 2.0|dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities]], unnecessarily and without regard for consequences; boredom proneness and thoughtless initiation of activities to counter boredom; lack of concern for one's limitations and denial of the reality of [[14 Branchland Court|personal]] [[Chris and health|danger]].

C. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are relatively stable across time and consistent across situations.

D. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not better understood as normative for the individual‟s developmental stage or sociocultural environment.

E. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not solely due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma).

F. The individual is at least age 18 years.}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris.

==Manifestations==
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.

But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.

===Fixation on self-image===
Chris has created many avatars of himself through several mediums.

<center><gallery>
File:Comic CWC.PNG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].
File:Chris Lego.jpg|As a Lego figure.
File:ThreePieceSetA.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christian.
File:ThreePieceSetC.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christine.
File:AmiiboSet.jpg|As [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]]. From left to right, Christian, Chris Chan Sonichu, Christine. Chris sold these through [[Etsy]].
File:Lego Christines.png|Another Lego figure of his 2015 [[Tomgirl]] self.
File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|[[Christine Doll]], pictured on left.
File:Chris skylanders avatar.jpg|Skylanders avatar.
File:Skylanders swag.png|A shirt, card and 3D figure of his Skylanders avatar, costing him $90 from the company.
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg|As a Transformer.
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg ‎|As a [[MLP]] character.
</gallery></center>

===Persecution complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, walking through the shadow of the valley of death.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]-violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] to becoming the social outcast that we all know and tolerate), thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===
{{Main|Naïve}}

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising china or threatening his identity. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a -mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would tell if we end up seeing Chris [[Cosplay|cosplaying]] or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. It's pretty obvious that Chris had only done this because he believed that he would score with Jackie sooner or later.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}

Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.

===Materialism===
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that,to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats homos, seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===
{{Main|Chris and the Internet}}
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's post contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards in amplexus, thumbnails of tribadism, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a china-shaped lemon--his description for the picture ''bragged'' about how [[JERKS]] would be offended by it.

===Paranoia===
One of the worst things that comes out of Chris's ego is his bloated sense of paranoia. As mentioned above, Chris has taken to withholding certain information from trolls like an animal being shocked by a shock collar. However, this line of thinking has pushed Chris into believing that the entire world is out to get him. In early days, it was actually simple - Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh were conspiring to stop him from succeeding in his Love Quest. However, after the incident with [[The Wallflower]] and the realization that there's entire webpages devoted to him, it's caused him to see things in a bigger, yet disturbing picture.

As such, Chris has decided to become a recluse, refusing to make friends with anyone unless he knew him in the real world. However, this is a double-edged sword as Chris refuses to interact with anyone in the real world as well. In the real world, if someone spotted Chris and knew him by name, even if they had heard of him from whatever remaining place is left for him to go to, he panics and runs, fearing that the person is actually a troll seeking to spread more information about him across the Internet. As well, if someone wanted to contact Chris through other means, even if that person had no idea who Chris was or what Sonichu was or anything that the trolls had done, Chris will shut them out because he doesn't know who they are and thus, has relegated them to the title of "troll".

A perfect example of this was revealed in a series of Facebook screenshots. While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted him, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.]]

===Surrendering Information===
If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. The ongoing [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Soiled Underpants Saga]] is the shining example of this.

Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris' experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.

In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post in particular revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''

The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brushfire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.

===Fishing for sympathy===
In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the Father Call, where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter (note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.) In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his Facebook entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler, and his friend, Anna McLerran is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his [[autism|being autistic]], has poisoned Chris' mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the white knights. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{Clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

SHE IS MINE NOW

2017-06-17T02:24:28Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank:

[[Image:Crazy.jpg|thumb|"I will kick your asses. Because I'm crazy."]]

'''SHE IS MINE NOW''' (officially '''10292009 - Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW''') is another call out to [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] from [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], uploaded on 28 [[October 2009]]. In it, he [[Chris and music#Rap|raps]] again and declares that [[Kacey]] is his and that Liquid lost her.

Ian plays a wide array of Aerosmith tracks in the background, undoubtedly in an attempt to seem rebellious and dangerous. He [[Autism|shuffles]] back and forth throughout the video and seems to have aged considerably since [[For Chris No 2|''yesterday'']]. He also finally changed his shirt.

He also does his [[Donald Duck impersonation]]...that or another [[rage]] attack. Who knows?

It is also important to note that Ian seems to be sweating a fair amount in this video and can be seen wiping sweat from his brow. The sweating appears to become more profuse towards the end of the video compared to the somewhat dry start.

==Original video from the real Chris==
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = BACK THE FUCK OFF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3Q-1aHvLXnE}}
| stardate = 28 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject = {{Sex|[[Kacey]]}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| previous = [[For Chris|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK]]
| next = [[SHE_IS_MINE_NOW#MC CWC responds|MC CWC responds]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
--ut'n, don't wanna play nice, do ya?! I'll school ya! [''Jump cut''] I'll s--I'll s--I'll school ya. I'll take you to town!

[''Liquid Chris steps back from the camera and preforms several fighting moves similar to the ones seen in [[CWC Fighter]].'']

I'm comin' for ya!

[''Re-approaches camera'']

I am the only one here who is fit for [[Kacey]]! [''Jump cut''] And another thing! [''Jump cut''] Uhh. Yeah this one's for you.

[''Steps away from the camera'']

The real deal! '''[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-HAAAAAAAA!!]]'''

[''Jump cut. Liquid Chris is close to the camera again.'']

Oh and by the way. I have been talking to some people named [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Gregg Mays]], who have told me personally, that they are going to help me take you down! [''Heavy breathing, possibly due to the extreme cold''] And, uh, yeah! Jack Thaddeus, his assistant Samanda Handroil, Samantha Handroil and Gregg Mays, who is a good man, and what ha-has given me some information on you, so that uh- I don't think- I don't think you'll like it very much at- mmmh [''More heavy breathing''] I don't think you will- I don't think you would like it very much if it got out and ruined your life forever.

So yeah. Jack Thaddeus, Gregg Mays. They're on my side now. Mmm. So get ready, arch-nemesis. I will be waiting. And to the rest of you, peace, eh.

==Ian's video==
{{honest}}
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = SHE IS MINE NOW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9H1ZQ-dzTuo}}
| stardate = 29 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Violence|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Kacey]]}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{TanWideLines|text}}
| previous = [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!|Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]]
| next = [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]
}}

{{quote|<poem>You just a dang dummy!
And you still chicken you's a dang coward!
If you wanna come fight me
Come fight me in person
Come out from behind the camera you fool
I'll fight you any day!</poem>|MC Chris, [[Chris and music|"rhyming"]]}}

=== Transcript ===

Yo! MC Chris! I'm gonna rap it to ya, man! Listen up!

<poem>
[''Ian begins "rapping" while Run-DMC's cover of "Walk This Way" plays in the background'']
I seen yo video, yous a lame ass
[[Sonichu (comic)|You done copyin' this and that]]
[[homos|I'm gonna screw you]], I'm gonna take you to town
Who do you think you are, [[South Park|Eric Cartman]]?
[''Ian does terrible Eric Cartman impression''] Screw you guys, I'm going home!
You had all with the [[pedofork|sweet little girl]]
[[List of Chris's lies|And yet you break your promise!]]
You done turn your back on her and turn to the [[trolls]]!
You just a dang dummy!
And you still chicken you's a dang coward!
If you wanna come fight me,
Come fight me in person!
Come out from behind the camera, you FOOL!
I'll fight you any day!
[[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|Poop]]-pow! [''flails arms in an obscene mockery of punching'']
And I'm gonna just plain kick yo ass!
From-looking-at-your-body-type, you's a total width and shorter than me!
I'm a good 5 foot 10, what are you, like a 4 foots 8?
I tell you something right now
[[Virgin with rage|That ain't gonna let you laid]],
Yet you had it once with her and you let it down
You's a big ol' dang...[[Hello, Juffalo|stupid lame-ass clown]].
Because you know you had all the [[Chris and religion|blessings]]
She was smart she was sweet she was [[Speech impediment|riwwyvery]] fun!
And I'll tell ya what ya did...
You...she done left you boy!
You lost her! You treated her like a [[Kimmi|dang ragdoll]]!

[''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Rag Doll"''] Dang ragdoll...
And she ain't no ragdoll, she's a caring human being!
And you is--and you is a dang fool for mistreating her like you did.
And I [[love]] her for--I love her for so much more than that.
And you so dumb...and you threw it all away, man.
She left you and now she's with me.
</poem>

[''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Dream On"''] So, at this point, you could just... [''turns back and awkwardly fast forwards through the intro to the song, and wipes his forehead''] So, at this point man. I'll tell you what you could do, because all your notions you had...with lovely, with sweet [[Kacey]]. This point, you could just...[[Dreams|dream]] on. Cause she and I we share [''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Sweet Emotion".'']

[''In an ear-splitting high pitched whine, while holding up the [[Claw of Fail]]''] SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET EMOOOOOOOOOTION. You didn't share no sweet emotion. You just done played her for a fool. And I don't ca--and I don't take to fools like that. [''whispers''] Please don't. I swear. And by the way you know what? I don't care about bein' a virgin because you know what? She and me are gonna be like...

[''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Love in an Elevator"''] ...[[Sonichu_8#The_Elevator_Gags|LOVE IN AN ELEVATOR! LOVIN' IT UP IN AN ELEVATOR!]] I mean, I tell ya. I tell ya what, man. She done leave you--she done left yous mang. She come--she come towards me. Because she's beyond beautiful.

[''Changes track to "Beyond Beautiful" from the Aerosmith Track Pack, awkwardly fast forwards through intro again and then <s>sings</s> mumbles along, badly''] She loves me now, she loves you not! Listen to that! Listen to the words of Aerosmith! She's beyond beautiful, and she's beyond...brilliant. She is so kind. She cares a lot. She cared about you, too. But you done turned her down, man. You lost her. So face facts man. She's with me Mac- she is with me now. You're yesterday's news. Just like the- just like the [[Monthly tugboat|boat]] that the [[Random access humor|MythBusters made out of newspaper and ice.]] Yesterday's news. Good show by the way, [[List of Chris's lies|I learned from it.]] So you can just move on, [[Wikipedia:Buster Brown|Buster Brown]]! 'Cause [[Chris|Mama Brown]] ain't gonna take that no more!

Yeah... and I will kick your ass, 'cause... I'm [[autism|crazy]]! [''gibbers violently at the camera, pauses, then does a more effete version of gibbering at the camera'']

C'mon! You come fight me in person, and I'll kick your ass! Come on!

...have a good day. Anse--when you--meet me in person.

==MC CWC responds==
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = MC CWC responds
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wDMEVOM3pV8}}
| stardate = 29 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject = {{Sex|[[Kacey]]}}, {{Music|text}}
| previous = [[SHE_IS_MINE_NOW#Original video from the real Chris|BACK THE FUCK OFF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU]]
| next = [[My_Half_of_A_Whole_New_World_for_Kacey#CChanSonichu CWC responds|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
}}

{{quote|Then I'm gonna turn you into a murder statistic,
Because, bitch 
I'm High-Fucking-Functioning-Autistic|MC CWC, being '''fucking ill.'''}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:Ian responds to MC CWC.jpg|thumb|Ian's comments on Chris's Response.]]
Kacey, you understand, this… this Ian, this… you do not want anything to have to do with him. I will win you back! I promise!

And another thing, I am gonna show you who is the real, who is the real better, talented CWC, in order to, in order to get you back! Cuz I will have you back, bay-bee! I miss you!

Here he is MC – the MC CWC, throwin’ down his favorite rhymes y’all! Yeah, okay.

[''The beat from [[Wikipedia:Eminem|Eminem's]] "[[Wikipedia:My Name Is|My Name Is]]" begins playing (yes, just the beat, because the Real Chris can actually play songs with the lyrics cut out)'']

''Kacey doesn’t love you – it’s true! 
''I checked her email this Tuesday at seven-oh-two 
''She has more apprehension than someone like you 
''Having his [[semen]], and [[recycling|drinking it too]] 
''In orange [[CWC Cola|Fanta, chocolate syrup]], you just can’t refuse 
''Mothafuckas online think that it cannot be true 
''But you prove them wrong, bottoms-up is yo motto 
''So it slides down yo throat, like a melty gelato 
''Wearin’ that bathrobe, like greener than avocado 
''Mashed up in a bathtub, infested with live mold 
''Your [[ShowerClean|shower]] got a problem with that, so I been told 
''In fact I’ve seen it – you’re twenty-seven years old! 
''You get [[CWCFlyingElephants|naked on camera and dance around like ten-fold]] 
''Fuck you, [[niggos|nigga]] – you makin’ my head explode 
''You know, with the stop-this and the stop-that 
''And the [[Nudes|expose of your ass-crack]] 
''On the camera, it was so wack 
''Look like Jack Black, on your last track 
''Mothafucka, I’ve never tried kickin’ an ass this hard 
''But I’mmabout to chew up and spit y’all over one million yards 
''I’ll take yo picture and send it to yo bodyguard 
''Now everybody yeah, sing along 

''Now everybody drawin’ the [[comic]] pages for ages 
''The sages of rage, and the age of contagion’s voracious 
''And pages, like the mothafuckin plague is 
''Upon a plantation and faces just can’t explain this 

''Sorry – didn’t understand that? 
''Understand my ass-crack! 
''I’m [[Wikipedia:Back in Black|back in black]] – and so’s my battery 
''Runs on [[Wikipedia:AC/DC|AC/DC]], 
''You don’t deserve to listen to a band so legendary, 
''[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|Get the FUCK off]] of Kacey, 
''Blaze me? You’re pasty! 
''You can’t stop me, or block me, or amaze me. 
''You won’t even [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler|come to the rescue]], ‘cuz you’re lazy! 
''It doesn’t phase me that you’re crazy, 
''‘Cuz if I see you try to contain me, 
''Then when I kick your ass, and salt and shake thee 

''I’m gonna rip off 
''Your four-inch 
''[[Duck|Deformed dick]] 

''[[BlueSpike#Max|Shove it up your ass]] 
''Like a certain 
''[[Medallion of fail|Medallion]] 

''Then I’m gonna turn you into 
''A murder 
''Statistic 

''Because, bitch, 
''I’m High-Fucking-Functioning-Autistic. 

''Out! 

Yeah. M’kay. Yeah yeah, yeah, m’kay, yeah you listen to that and you take in the words from that.

Peace, and have a good day.

==External Links==
Download Liquid Chris's rap - Created by Youtuber CynicalController https://www.dropbox.com/s/5x4pdw699q1cf3p/Rhymes%20to%20Win%20Kacey%20Back.mp3?dl=0

==See also==
*[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
*[[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]]|nextlink=[[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Videos with RAGE]]
[[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-28]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-10-28]]

CHRIS CHAN INTERVIEW

2017-06-08T06:10:40Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Transcript */

'''CHRIS CHAN INTERVIEW''' is an interview of Chris in 2016 by YouTuber [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd3_Cgy53iABR2i8s1L8Dtg Lil E].

Two other interview videos had also been made and uploaded to the BraveryJerk channel, which took place at [[Cville Pride]].

==First interview==
{{Infobox/video
| name = CHRIS CHAN INTERVIEW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|zdP_ExIZZpk}}
| stardate = 8 [[September 2016]]
| subject = {{trollsicon|text}}, {{Sex|Love Quest}}, {{Homos|text}}, {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Tomgirl|text}} {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| shirt = {{Blue and White Striped Dress|text}}
| previous = [[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Paid Message to the Trolls|Paid Message to the Trolls]]
| next = [[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#We Like Pearl|We Like Pearl]]
}}

===Transcript===
'''Interviewer:''' So... You still [[Semen#Recycling|recycle your gravy]]?
["''Really, [[Niggos|nigga]]?" sound effect'']

[''Sped up version of "I Want It That Way" plays'']

'''I:''' - Weston Chandler... Uh, we have a few questions for you. So, first off, are you still on your [[Love Quest]]?

'''Chris:''': Umm... Yes, yes, more or less, umm... I don't get to go ouda- out the house as much, but I'm still very much looking for a... my... womanly s- my woman [[sweetheart]]. Yeah, definitely all woman. Regardless, but, anyway, umm... yes.

'''I:''' Alright, and what do you think of the fame that [[Sonichu]]'s brought to you?

[''Chris nervously scratches temple'']

'''C:''' Mmm... Yeah... Fame, good... Infamy, though, not so much, because of uh... all the drawbacks I've had. And, the [[stress]]... and the shock and all that, over the years, each individual one kind of... [''puts finger to temple and sighs''] still lingers in my head.

'''I:''' What are some of the drawbacks?

'''C:''' Umm... It prevents me from uhh... Being able to, uhh... Be more creative. It just... Ugh. It's practically paralyzing. I can't- it's like- it's hardly a- har- hardly able for me to help.

'''I:''' Can you tell us more about the bear?

[''cut'']

'''C:''' ...What?

'''I:''' The bear that gave you your name.

'''C:''' Oh, you mean the uh... [[Leonard Bearstein]] that used to be over at Regency square?

'''I:''' Yes. Leonard Bear.

'''C:''' Yeah, Bear Conductor, the conductor... umm... we told- it said- he asked- he asked me for my name, uhh... Which was Christopher at the time, and he [[Speech impediment|misunderstood that]], uh, the conductor behind the bear was English... Or British, something like that, and he misundertood, called me "Christian", and that inspired the fir- the first name change.

[''cut'']

'''I:''' So, have you heard of, uh, Sachumo?

'''C:''' Who?

'''I:''' Sachumo, he's a Youtuber, he made a [[documentary]] about your life.

'''C:''' [''Confused''] Umm... Yeah, I have not heard of him. And- is this that insensive documentary that I keep hearing about?

'''I:''' Yes, this is a documentary on YouTube, it has about half a million views.

'''C:''' Yeah, yes, still have not watched it.

'''I:''' Definitely should, it's pretty good.

[''cut'']

'''I:''' So, what does like, a normal day look like for you?

'''C:''' Ummm... It's-I try- try to be as- peaceful as possible, like, tend to go with the flow, really, uhh... and... If I go out, I go out, if I don't, I don't, uh...

'''I:''' Alright.

'''C:''' And sometimes I'm on day schedule, sometimes on night schedule, just switches on- switches on me and my internal clock, it's fickle, it bothers me, umm... But typically, ummm... say... If I go out, I'd be uhh... walking abo- I'd be walking around, I'd be nice- I'd be friendly and nice to peopl- to, uhh... tahh... peep- to people, civil to the men and more- and more talkative to the women, mmm... Umm, just be- just be normal and casual and, if I'm home I- if I feel like cradindinye- creating then I will end up doing that, otherwise for the m- what happens most of the times I'll, I dunno, probably
just binge watch a TV show on Hulu, Netflix or something-

'''I:''' What are some of your favourite TV shows?

'''C:''' Umm, well, some of my favorite shows... Well I do like ''Seinfeld'', and, uhh, ''Friends''; ''Big Bang Theory'' is OK, that's, uh, more the, uhh, recent genre, but I also like ''Golden Girls'' and ''Fraiser'', those are on the Hallmark channel. Umm... I Don't know recent shows, but also recently I've binged-watched through Hulu and Netflix, ''Kill la Kill'', which I thought that was a good anime, all things considered, it had really good story and all that-

'''I:''' Huh, intereseting.

'''C:''' And, ''WataMote'', that was good also, jus- I just feel like I could relate with, uhh, like the main character, the girl there. I don't remember her name at the moment. But also, it's just like she- she tends to [[Autism|overthink at socializing]], and that's kinda like what I end up doing so far as well, or have done, probably still doing. It's habitual, overthinking, you do it and you're not thinking about it yet you're thinking and you're not thinking about it - [''spins hand while while making weird noises''] - That's an oxymoron.

[''cut'']

'''I:''' Alright, and-

'''C:''' Not anymore, anyway.

'''I:''' And, you consider yourself a transgender?

'''C:''' Yes, I'm a lesbian trans-woman, still very much interested in women, and I'm going to be transitioned at least with the binaural beats... And, uh, I will also be- I'm also looking into uhh, the HRT, for real, and uhh, and if not the natural transofmration then, if my insurance will allow me after I'll be going throught that intensive process, which will be starting up soon for me, uhh, then I will have the SRS.

'''I:''' Interesting, interesting...

[''cut'']

4:52

'''I:''' So, do you still recycle your gravy?

'''C:''' [''disgusted''] Ugh! No.

'''I:''' No. What was that all about? because a lot of people are talking about that.

'''C:''' Uhh... that's... uhh, public situation right now, I'd rather not talk about it but, yeah, let's just suf- let's just leave it at that, I have not done that for years.

'''I:''' Okay. It's good to know. Sorry, people were just asking about that. Had to bring it up. Umm...

'''C:''' Never ask that quesiton again, just leave it at that.

'''I:''' Alright. Ummm, and... A lot of people, a lot of [[trolls]] have tried to troll you, what do-

[''cut'']

'''C:''' ... quit it, don't try to stress me, don't try to bother me, I'm an [[Chris and Art|artist]], uhh, I've tried- I'm still long trying to recover from all the stress and the shock since [[2007]]. It's a very long and tedious process, especially in my mind [''clutches scalp'']. You would- I mean- I don- Ya'll would probably not know, or you might know if you had your own [[Barb|family situations]], and you're stuck in your basements and whatever, but, anyway, just- just- If you're not gonna be nice to me, if you- if you have nothing nice to say, you have- you have nothing good... intended, or if you only have bad intended, just- just don't bother me. I only respond best to uh, kindness and... [[honesty]], and... more- and more to point, face-to-face, in person.

[''cut'']

'''I:''' What do you think about [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and their article about you?

'''C:''' Ugh. I'd rather not think about it. But, essentially, I don't ca- I do not care much for it.

[''transgender section repeats'']

'''I:''' Alright, and-

'''C:''' Not anymore, anyway.

'''I:''' And, you consider yourself a transgender?

'''C:''' Yes, I'm a lesbian trans-woman, still very much interested in women, and I'm going to be transitioned at least with the binaural beats... And, uh, I will also be- I'm also looking into uhh, the HRT, for real, and uhh, and if not the natural transofmration then, if my insurance will allow me after I'll be going throught that intensive process, which will be starting up soon for me, uhh, then I will have the SRS.

'''I:''' Interesting, interesting... All right, well, thank you for doing an interview with us, It's been an honor.

==Cville Pride interviews==
These interviews were produced during Cville Pride's 2016 event. [[Cville Pride#2016|In the first]], Lil E sees Chris in a crowd of people he is interviewing and includes him as an interview subject. Later, he met with Chris for a one-on-one interview.

{{Infobox/video
| name = BRAVERYJERK INTERVIEWS CHRIS CHAN
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hOsOwKjlARI}}
| stardate = 17 [[September 2016]]
| subject =
| style = {{Reason|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
BVJ: Hello everyone, Braveryjerk here, today we are interviewing Christine Weston Chandler, how are you doing today.

[music with caption “In October 2016, Braveryjerk got the rare opportunity to interview Christian (Christine Weston Chandler) We had around 20 minutes to prepare” ]

CHRIS: [holding toy] It’s a custom Equestria Girls Minis I made…myself.

Chris sets up his Amiibo toys on a table, the interviewer is looking at them.

BVJ: (mutters) Are there more in here? You have the full…(mumbling)…probably shouldn’t touch that (wipes hands on clothing) That’s kinda gross.

CHRIS: [setting up toys] I’ll just put…one at a time.

BVJ: I’m gonna go get the camera…

CHRIS: Yeah, custom ‘mmibo figures of…Sonichu n Rosechu, Sonee n Rosey, and Angelica Rosechu.

BVJ: So you make these yourself?

CHRIS: Yeah. For figures it takes HOURS.

BVJ: It’s very pretty. How much would one of these go for?

CHRIS: Um…some of it’s….indivi…selling em for around…fifty dollars apiece or…

BVJ: FIFTY? I’ll give you two for it.

CHRIS: [[Michael Snyder|Oy vey]], no.

BVJ: That’s all I got on me. Is that the original [[medallion]]?

CHRIS: Yesss. Uh. Nummer three whereas the first two have been…destroyed…that’s…that’s a whole buncha other stories.

BVJ: How were, how were they destroyed?

CHRIS: [sigh] [[Blanca Weiss|Somebody else dessroyed the first one]], and the other – [[Julie Reveals Herself|and the second one was…shoved up my…keyhoooole….uh…]]

BVJ: You shoved the Sonichu medallion up your ass? (looks dramatically at camera)

CHRIS: Yip…yeah, it was..yeah, I don’t wanna talk about that.

BVJ: Why did you do that?

CHRIS: [sigh] Between uh…my theoretical ex-girlfriend and being [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmailed…Playstation Network theft]]….yeah. I don’t – that’s en – that’s enough said.

BVJ: So you chose to shove it up your…your boyhole?

CHRIS: [sigh] yeah…

BVJ: This is NOT the same one you put up your ass? [holding hands away from medallion dramatically]

CHRIS: Definitely not.

BVJ: Ok. Thank god. [more wiping hands on clothing and mugging for camera] That would be a little gross, right?

CHRIS: Nyah.

BVJ: This is the Rosechu?

CHRIS: Rosechu, yeah.

BVJ: Do you have like a napkin or something? [jump cut]

CAMERAMAN: And what’s your, uh, Etsy store link? So people can…buy your stuff?

CHRIS: It’s closed right now, I don’t know if I’ll be opening up after I catch up on my orders. Uh it’s CWCville Shopping on Etsy. It’s a link on my YouTube page, CWCville Guardian.

BVJ: CWCville Guardian, that’s a pretty snazzy name [sarcastic look at camera]

CHRIS: No, CWC, it spells – when you say it as a word it’s [sic] comes out as Quick. So…

BVJ: Wouldn’t it be like….ssswwwwsssskkkk?

CHRIS: Quickly, to the Tardis! [waves around Tardis blanket]

BVJ: Hooooly crap, that is…can you hold that up for us?

CHRIS: I brought it with me as something to s – as one to sit on.

BVJ: That is quite a meme right there.

CAMERAMAN: Alright, I think we are ready to start.

BVJ: Alright, everything’s turned up?

[jump cut to Chris fondling Equestria Chris]

BVJ: So you’re a Brony?

CHRIS: Ah, no, I’m a pegasister.

BVJ: Oh right, cause you’re a…(CHRIS: Yes.) A trans…woman.

CHRIS: I’m a…yes…I’m a [singing] female soooooooul!

[jump cut]

CHRIS: So do you wear glasses on your….all your online videos?

BVJ: Sometimes. [Chris looks very unsettled]

[jump cut]

CHRIS: I’m Christine Weston Chandler, formerly known as Christian Weston Chandler,

[jump cut]

BVJ: [slaps legs] So how are you doing today, first of all.

CHRIS: I’m all right.

BVJ: Cool cool. What do you think about the fame and popularity Sony-chu has brought to you?

CHRIS: Uh, SONichu. Uh…I’m kinda like, eh, somewhere in the middle about it, cause…’s nice, a lotta people know about me ‘n my characters, but then also, uh, lotta bad people been giving me bullying ‘n grief ‘n….’nets just been bringing me down emotionally ‘n mentally. Between blackmail…uh…dis, dat uh…[gestures with hand, sniffs] it’s hard – it’s just a lot – it’s so long a list an’ (cling?) theoretical ex-girlfriends who turned out not…to be…cert- not to be who they were. I don’t like dishonest or mean pe- cruel people. Learn some gen’ral kindness! And…honesty and…humility (lol)…don’t always…got hate. Don’t hate. Love conquers hate.

BVJ: Do you regret anything you’ve done in the past?

CHRIS: Definitely uh…fit…among de footage and thing…and pitchurs I’ve drawn of….quite revealing content.

BVJ: If you could undo one thing you’ve done in the past, what would that be?

CHRIS [sigh] Uh..undo one…thing…dat…mmm…I guess…fff..learning that I…funded [sic] the…Encyclopedia Dramaddica page inna first place. Then…I wouldn’t have – I wouldn’t have known…I woulda been…blissfully ignorant! [raises hands, shakes bracelets] Of da bad people. [tongue out]

BVJ: Do you regret posting those characters anywhere, or, or…

CHRIS: Uh…no I do not regret posting them, I just feel bad dat dey been crim…dey been criminally defaced, an’ brought to shame, the – I feel that the trolls and the (means bullies but says boys) and everything they’ve done against me and all that, they essentially took the fun out of it.

BVJ: And, you’ve said things that could be considered racist in the past. (CHRIS: Um…) Have your views changed on those?

CHRIS: Yes, b – esp – yes, um…I never really had anything against, uh, race or people, I never really did, uh…but im – in thought of that, the one president Obama joke that my father came up with about painting da house – White House prematurely, uh, yeah…[waves hand dismissively] that’s not my thing. That was, that was his opinion and his feelings alone, and that was…years ago. I have nothing against black people or anyone else of other countries, or yeah – or ra- wherever. Whoever.

BVJ: Well we have a quote here, you said…I hate N- [cuts off]

CHRIS: [looks very put out] I never said that. Migh’na been that parody I did of Uncle Ruckus’s songs against da gays but which dat…my views have been changed. (ironically sounds like “my views have not changed”). Well it def’nly came about when I realized dat I was a lesbian transwoman and I felt…comfortable amongst the LGBTQ community. I still feel – feel uncomfortable around males in general, but for da most part I will be civil, and uh…not mean to, not mean to any of them, unless any of them are directly mean to me. I definitely respond better to kindness, but um…yeah, I [stammers] have my eyes set on da women. And, very much attracted to women.

BVJ: So you’re straight.

CHRIS [angry sigh, looks annoyed] I’m a LESBIAN TRANSWOMAN, my FEMALE SOUL is attracted to women, so derefore I am a lesbian.

BVJ: But you were born a male, correct?

CHRIS: [even more annoyed] Ugh….yes, born male, but that’s irrelevant.

BVJ: How many genders are there?

CHRIS: Dere’s a lot more than [stammers]

[some really annoying music plays I’M A SCAT MAN! as Chris stammers]

CHRIS: Dat’s my guess, my educated guess.

BVJ: Could you name a few?

CHRIS: Well, there’s trans male, trans women, um (BVJ: That’s two.) …uh…uh…male female (BVJ: Four.) shoot….uh….well I’ve [sic] definitely would say uM, with regards to what f – what gender you feel you are inside, between male and female, versus or, im – in retrospect with what – the physical form you’re born with, uh [stammering, the editing cuts off what he was going to say and splices in more stammering]

BVJ: Do you consider yourself famous?

CHRIS: Uh. Mildly, yes. Umm…I feel like it’s positive because I have seen kindness from de asshual good and honest people…and…it’s brought lil – it’s brought at least a little bit of sutsess to…mit – myself personally and my…family? In regards to, or opposing to, like say, my half-brother Joseph Cole Smithey. And…his…[wipes greasy face] movie reviewing. Eh, but still I just feel like…’e’s so sussessful, he lives in, like an esspensive New York apartment, wit his wife, he could help out wit – he could help his own mother. Our sh – our mother. We share da same mother!

BVJ: So could you tell me about uh, a little about your family and your upbringing?

[the editing speeds up Chris’s answer, for no apparent reason, but Chris mentions his parents and Cole and how they share the same mother but not the same father, and says that his family used to be quite large but has shrunk in the past number of years]

CHRIS: Nobody’s around forever….[does sign of the cross] remember the ones who cared, and I definitely respect everyone from who…remembers, as suffered, or survived from….911 and all dat. [graphic of “Remembering 911” randomly appears]

BVJ: What do you think about the Black Lives Matter movement?

CHRIS: Uhhh, Black Li – I have not heard of that. Well…Black Lives Matter. It sounds like it’s…uh…maybe people, black people are, sounds like dey’re having trouble? But I feel…that, you know, to help any person in general, regardless of race [#AllLivesMatter flashes] or whatever. I mean, I’m for…de, uh…Black Lives forever.

BVJ: Do you consider yourself oppressed as a trans woman?

CHRIS: [confused] Um…O-pressed? [Oprah picture flashes for some reason] I’m not sure what da definition of o-pressed is.

BVJ: Do you feel as if you are mistreated, because of how you identify.

CHRIS: Oh! Mostly, uh…I’ve actually seen more of kindness from…at least locally, and I tend to ignore de, uh, boys (bullies) and trolls, especially with in the past, more recent years. Aside from – well – you have the haters, just uh, usually would shrug dat off…

[another irritating sequence of jump cuts with Chris saying “I feel like, I don’t feel…I think I feel…do not feel…”]

BVJ: Would you consider yourself a feminist?

CHRIS: Yes. Girl…woman power! Girls are strong, we kick butt!

[camera zooms in on Chris for some reason, before editing Chris’s next statement to sound like he is saying “Mmm, Butter” and flashing a picture of a stick of butter]

CHRIS: Y’all don’t totally know me from what I’ve done in past dat’s been uploaded on ‘ne Innernet, ‘n taken oudda context, y’all would be – would be better off getting to know me personally or better, I’m ashually – I’m ashually quite likeable.

BVJ: Are you still on your Love Quest?

CHRIS: Yes, but definitely feel that – and with that, um…in my relationship with women, uh wuh – ff- who I find to be my – ff – [deep breath] oh, my eventual sweetheart, def’nitely will be on the friends, friends first, den relationship layer on….yeah, it’s uh – it’ll be a mutual thing between her an’ me an’…I’d leave de…if and when of…private circumstances…up to her.

BVJ: When you…went into that Gamestop, what were you thinking?

[plays clip of DON’T CALL ANYBODY where Chris maces the Gamestop employee]

BVJ: The Gamestop where you pepper-sprayed the employee.

CHRIS: Oh, yeah…I was not esspecting to be…irrecepted like dat. Annnn I acted, pretty much, out of in sel- in actual self-defense…

[the clip is played again, directly when Chris sprays the mace]

CHRIS: …between uh, disinformed perceptionnnns….and being harassed previously, like dat, I never actually was able to defend myself before. Back den I thought, this was a positive means [text “meeeemes” flashes for some reason], but den it turns out, it went wrong, an re- and the reason behind that which was the Sonic the Hedgehog om – arm color change. [“No Colors Allowed” is flashed on the screen] Yeah, ‘n ‘at was just…plain trivial an’ I…really wish I had not…started that prot – dat protest ‘nna first place.

BVJ: So you believe that’s not a…’ppropriate reaction? To the change of a cartoon character’s arm color.

CHRIS: Yesssssss…I’ve come – I’ve realized dat. When I…did a search for my name brandomly [sic] ‘s da first thing I did when I just got my Nintendo Wii, and uh…den I found da Encyclopediadrammadica page an…learn ‘nat…people were…makin’ a mockery of me, gib’n me hate, an ‘nat just…really…threw me off. Initially, I fffffelt quite distraught, I felt…ashamed, I felt…some anger, I felt…rebellious, I felt…like dis is not right, dese people don’t know me for who -for the person I am, or was back den, they don’t know me personally. Yeah, dis webpage, ‘s just not right, I…tried multiple times ta…personally try to take it down and request it taken down, and dey said NO! And to change it so it’s more accurate, and dey didn’t do it! And eventually I…just…like I learned from…dat…parody song…You’ve been trolled, you probably told, don’t reply to this guy, he’s just getting a rise out of [starting to sing] you, yes it’s true, you respond and dat’s his cue, you start trouble on da double, while he (strokes his bendy skull????) You been trolled, you been trolled, you should probably just fold, when the only winning move is not to PLAAAAAY! And yet you keep on trying, and (??) replying, you been trolled, you been trolled, [holds up a hand to wave] have a nice day!

[camera randomly zooms in on Chris’s hand as he drops it back down]

BVJ: That’s amazing.

CHRIS: Tend to not…put…new revealing information about somebody’s past, against dem currently as long as…they’re actually…in the longer run, since after these past fee- these past feelings on…before flip-flopping or whatever…

BVJ: Would you ever run for President yourself?

CHRIS: NO. [jump cut to big stress sigh] We have our dogs, our fickle finances go up go down…the second halves of the months are usually worst on us in the house…[hand up on head] it’s a real strain. I mean regardless of my…impulses, impulse purchases dat…de trolls are ashually going into, and just [autistic hand twitch]…I don’t know, just…like being da paparazzi behind my back or, looking t’rough online transitions – transactions an’ wha-ever, that IS an ivasion [sic] of privacy! And that’s, uh, nobody’s business but my own, but I am still helping out my mother and the household. And I just, need a little time…I just need a little now and then, treat or time for myself, as anybody else would!

BVJ: You said you have dogs, what kind of dogs do you have?

CHRIS: Dey’re both beagles.

BVJ: What are their names?

CHRIS: [amazed he doesn’t know] Clover and Snoopy! A – sometimes I like to call ‘im Snoopy Doo. Dis is – mooshis (???) Scooby and Snoopy!

[more edited splicing of Chris stammering]

CHRIS: Da house was a lot more cluttered before da fire. An my mom wanted ta…plug in dis new coffee – dis new coffee maker dat uh…she – dat Mr. C had gotten like a year or two before? And wan – to go for – want to enjoy some of de…K Cup type coffee! So, mm….got dese extension cord I found the nearest available plug, and it was uh…[gestures] in da nearby…bathroom. But the coffee maker was…outside the bathroom. On a uh…dresser. And uh, we couldn’t cl – we couldn’t close the door, I uh [hand to face] I didn’t – I wasn’t thinking too clearly, I didn’t think as much, but I end up looping the uh, esstension cord OVER de door! And uh, the arc above the door, dat’s…POOF! [music of We Didn’t Start the Fire starts playing] And dat’s where the fire started, and…yeah mos – yeah, ummm…give or take, I’m not pointing fingers if it was here, from my mis – my mistakes, and I have made a lotta mistakes regardless, um…or my mudder want, the uh…coffee maker plugged in! Or…even de coffee maker itself, with da….de…with its possible faulty wiring and he had to go back and forth bet-between da mechanism and da socket? What happened happened, dat’s water under the bridge,

BVJ: So you burnt your house down.

CHRIS: [stress sigh] It was definitely nassident (an accident), it was not intended.

BVJ: You accidentally burnt your house down.

CHRIS: Yeah. At least…the majority of us, we got out safe. [text “The Majority?” flashes onscreen] All the original drawings an everything, all that, they were safe, but…definitely lost was uh…couple of things that were...hanging on my bedroom wall were destroyed in the fire.

[editing of Chris doing the sign of the cross again with chorus singing and Jesus photo superimposed over footage]

BVJ: What is that?

CHRIS: What?

BVJ: What’s that move. That thing.

CHRIS: What, you don’t know ‘bout that? I don’t know, I just took it from watching – seen it on television, I just feel like – got – feel like when I do it’s ‘s like “God help me”. Jesus did help us, uh…I feel like, um…we only have…yeah, dere’s o – dere’s one God, an ev’body regardless of the name….yeah, mm…dat’s…dat’s definitely also taking a little bit from the wisdom of Matt Groening, between…between the Simpsons and Futurama. Stayf…our…stayf…State Farm par-personnel was able to help us, uh…get us into a hotel for a f-into a hotel for a few weeks, before we got de…rental house dat we stayed in for dat…number of months?

[cameraman gets bored and starts zooming in and out on Braveryjerk]

BVJ: Now, can we get an update on your man-cl [cut off]

CHRIS: [frustrated] PLEASE, no comment!

BVJ: No comment? You made several comments on your, uh, public Facebook page.

CHRIS: Ugh. Yeah, dat was…impulsive and summa dat was brought on by…yeah, ‘n ex-girlfriend of mine of recent, but she left me of the uh…dishonesty therein, but uh, anyway I’m still transitioning, let’s just leave it at dat.

BVJ: So you, you believe that the bloody hole in your taint (CHRIS: Oh…please…) is…

CHRIS: Please, please, please! No comment! No comment! (BVJ: Have you…) Everything’s healed up, it’s all good, I’m still alive, let’s just l – give that…let’s just leave that – lie – lay that down to rest.

BVJ/CAMERAMAN?: Is there anything else you wanna say before…

CHRIS: Um…[open and close mouth like a fish] I’d say…to everybody on the Innernet…eh…f-face-to-face kindness and…meet and greets are better than online…yeah, meet first…it’s a whole – I feel like that’s more important den…mee’in anybody online communicating, you can…anyway, aside from d at, um…be good, be kind, have a good safe day!

BVJ: Hell yeah, my nig- [cut off]

CHRIS: Stop hayding, stop boying (bullying)! Love is better den hate! Kindness is berr res – better rescepted [sic] and more welcoming…den…mistrust, dislike, hatred, hurtful comments…if you got s- if you don’t have anything nice to say, mostly keep it to yourself, or amongst yourselves…

[flute music is edited in, the camera circles Braveryjerk and Chris before showing Chris putting away his toys. The camera slides around on a table, making a scraping sound.]

BVD: Alright, brofist! See you, good day.

CHRIS: Yeah, take care.

[more stupid editing commences]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Interview videos]]

CHRIS CHAN INTERVIEW

2017-06-08T06:09:18Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Transcript */

'''CHRIS CHAN INTERVIEW''' is an interview of Chris in 2016 by YouTuber [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd3_Cgy53iABR2i8s1L8Dtg Lil E].

Two other interview videos had also been made and uploaded to the BraveryJerk channel, which took place at [[Cville Pride]].

==First interview==
{{Infobox/video
| name = CHRIS CHAN INTERVIEW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|zdP_ExIZZpk}}
| stardate = 8 [[September 2016]]
| subject = {{trollsicon|text}}, {{Sex|Love Quest}}, {{Homos|text}}, {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Tomgirl|text}} {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| shirt = {{Blue and White Striped Dress|text}}
| previous = [[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Paid Message to the Trolls|Paid Message to the Trolls]]
| next = [[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#We Like Pearl|We Like Pearl]]
}}

===Transcript===
'''Interviewer:''' So... You still [[Semen#Recycling|recycle your gravy]]?
["''Really, [[Niggos|nigga]]?" sound effect'']

[''Sped up version of "I Want It That Way" plays'']

'''I:''' - Weston Chandler... Uh, we have a few questions for you. So, first off, are you still on your [[Love Quest]]?

'''Chris:''': Umm... Yes, yes, more or less, umm... I don't get to go ouda- out the house as much, but I'm still very much looking for a... my... womanly s- my woman [[sweetheart]]. Yeah, definitely all woman. Regardless, but, anyway, umm... yes.

'''I:''' Alright, and what do you think of the fame that [[Sonichu]]'s brought to you?

[''Chris nervously scratches temple'']

'''C:''' Mmm... Yeah... Fame, good... Infamy, though, not so much, because of uh... all the drawbacks I've had. And, the [[stress]]... and the shock and all that, over the years, each individual one kind of... [''puts finger to temple and sighs''] still lingers in my head.

'''I:''' What are some of the drawbacks?

'''C:''' Umm... It prevents me from uhh... Being able to, uhh... Be more creative. It just... Ugh. It's practically paralyzing. I can't- it's like- it's hardly a- har- hardly able for me to help.

'''I:''' Can you tell us more about the bear?

[''cut'']

'''C:''' ...What?

'''I:''' The bear that gave you your name.

'''C:''' Oh, you mean the uh... [[Leonard Bearstein]] that used to be over at Regency square?

'''I:''' Yes. Leonard Bear.

'''C:''' Yeah, Bear Conductor, the conductor... umm... we told- it said- he asked- he asked me for my name, uhh... Which was Christopher at the time, and he [[Speech impediment|misunderstood that]], uh, the conductor behind the bear was English... Or British, something like that, and he misundertood, called me "Christian", and that inspired the fir- the first name change.

[''cut'']

'''I:''' So, have you heard of, uh, Sachumo?

'''C:''' Who?

'''I:''' Sachumo, he's a Youtuber, he made a [[documentary]] about your life.

'''C:''' [''Confused''] Umm... Yeah, I have not heard of him. And- is this that insensive documentary that I keep hearing about?

'''I:''' Yes, this is a documentary on YouTube, it has about half a million views.

'''C:''' Yeah, yes, still have not watched it.

'''I:''' Definitely should, it's pretty good.

[''cut'']

'''I:''' So, what does like, a normal day look like for you?

'''C:''' Ummm... It's-I try- try to be as- peaceful as possible, like, tend to go with the flow, really, uhh... and... If I go out, I go out, if I don't, I don't, uh...

'''I:''' Alright.

'''C:''' And sometimes I'm on day schedule, sometimes on night schedule, just switches on- switches on me and my internal clock, it's fickle, it bothers me, umm... But typically, ummm... say... If I go out, I'd be uhh... walking abo- I'd be walking around, I'd be nice- I'd be friendly and nice to peopl- to, uhh... tahh... peep- to people, civil to the men and more- and more talkative to the women, mmm... Umm, just be- just be normal and casual and, if I'm home I- if I feel like cradindinye- creating then I will end up doing that, otherwise for the m- what happens most of the times I'll, I dunno, probably
just binge watch a TV show on Hulu, Netflix or something-

'''I:''' What are some of your favourite TV shows?

'''C:''' Umm, well, some of my favorite shows... Well I do like ''Seinfeld'', and, uhh, ''Friends''; ''Big Bang Theory'' is OK, that's, uh, more the, uhh, recent genre, but I also like ''Golden Girls'' and ''Fraiser'', those are on the Hallmark channel. Umm... I Don't know recent shows, but also recently I've binged-watched through Hulu and Netflix, ''Kill la Kill'', which I thought that was a good anime, all things considered, it had really good story and all that-

'''I:''' Huh, intereseting.

'''C:''' And, ''WataMote'', that was good also, jus- I just feel like I could relate with, uhh, like the main character, the girl there. I don't remember her name at the moment. But also, it's just like she- she tends to [[Autism|overthink at socializing]], and that's kinda like what I end up doing so far as well, or have done, probably still doing. It's habitual, overthinking, you do it and you're not thinking about it yet you're thinking and you're not thinking about it - [''spins hand while while making weird noises''] - That's an oxymoron.

[''cut'']

'''I:''' Alright, and-

'''C:''' Not anymore, anyway.

'''I:''' And, you consider yourself a transgender?

'''C:''' Yes, I'm a lesbian trans-woman, still very much interested in women, and I'm going to be transitioned at least with the binaural beats... And, uh, I will also be- I'm also looking into uhh, the HRT, for real, and uhh, and if not the natural transofmration then, if my insurance will allow me after I'll be going throught that intensive process, which will be starting up soon for me, uhh, then I will have the SRS.

'''I:''' Interesting, interesting...

[''cut'']

4:52

'''I:''' So, do you still recycle your gravy?

'''C:''' [''disgusted''] Ugh! No.

'''I:''' No. What was that all about? because a lot of people are talking about that.

'''C:''' Uhh... that's... uhh, public situation right now, I'd rather not talk about it but, yeah, let's just suf- let's just leave it at that, I have not done that for years.

'''I:''' Okay. It's good to know. Sorry, people were just asking about that. Had to bring it up. Umm...

'''C:''' Never ask that quesiton again, just leave it at that.

'''I:''' Alright. Ummm, and... A lot of people, a lot of [[trolls]] have tried to troll you, what do-

[''cut'']

'''C:''' ... quit it, don't try to stress me, don't try to bother me, I'm an [[Chris and Art|artist]], uhh, I've tried- I'm still long trying to recover from all the stress and the shock since [[2007]]. It's a very long and tedious process, especially in my mind [''clutches scalp'']. You would- I mean- I don- Ya'll would probably not know, or you might know if you had your own [[Barb|family situations]], and you're stuck in your basements and whatever, but, anyway, just- just- If you're not gonna be nice to me, if you- if you have nothing nice to say, you have- you have nothing good... intended, or if you only have bad intended, just- just don't bother me. I only respond best to uh, kindness and... [[honesty]], and... more- and more to point, face-to-face, in person.

[''cut'']

'''I:''' What do you think about [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and their article about you?

'''C:''' Ugh. I'd rather not think about it. But, essentially, I don't ca- I do not care much for it.

[''transgender section repeats'']

'''I:''' Alright, and-

'''C:''' Not anymore, anyway.

'''I:''' And, you consider yourself a transgender?

'''C:''' Yes, I'm a lesbian trans-woman, still very much interested in women, and I'm going to be transitioned at least with the binaural beats... And, uh, I will also be- I'm also looking into uhh, the HRT, for real, and uhh, and if not the natural transofmration then, if my insurance will allow me after I'll be going throught that intensive process, which will be starting up soon for me, uhh, then I will have the SRS.

'''I:''' Interesting, interesting... All right, well, thank you for doing an interview with us, It's been an honor.

==Cville Pride interviews==
These interviews were produced during Cville Pride's 2016 event. [[Cville Pride#2016|In the first]], Lil E sees Chris in a crowd of people he is interviewing and includes him as an interview subject. Later, he met with Chris for a one-on-one interview.

{{Infobox/video
| name = BRAVERYJERK INTERVIEWS CHRIS CHAN
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hOsOwKjlARI}}
| stardate = 17 [[September 2016]]
| subject =
| style = {{Reason|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
BVJ: Hello everyone, Braveryjerk here, today we are interviewing Christine Weston Chandler, how are you doing today.

[music with caption “In October 2016, Braveryjerk got the rare opportunity to interview Christian (Christine Weston Chandler) We had around 20 minutes to prepare” ]

CHRIS: [holding toy] It’s a custom Equestria Girls Minis I made…myself.

Chris sets up his Amiibo toys on a table, the interviewer is looking at them.

BVJ: (mutters) Are there more in here? You have the full…(mumbling)…probably shouldn’t touch that (wipes hands on clothing) That’s kinda gross.

CHRIS: [setting up toys] I’ll just put…one at a time.

BVJ: I’m gonna go get the camera…

CHRIS: Yeah, custom ‘mmibo figures of…Sonichu n Rosechu, Sonee n Rosey, and Angelica Rosechu.

BVJ: So you make these yourself?

CHRIS: Yeah. For figures it takes HOURS.

BVJ: It’s very pretty. How much would one of these go for?

CHRIS: Um…some of it’s….indivi…selling em for around…fifty dollars apiece or…

BVJ: FIFTY? I’ll give you two for it.

CHRIS: [[Michael Snyder|Oy vey]], no.

BVJ: That’s all I got on me. Is that the original [[medallion]]?

CHRIS: Yesss. Uh. Nummer three whereas the first two have been…destroyed…that’s…that’s a whole buncha other stories.

BVJ: How were, how were they destroyed?

CHRIS: [sigh] [[Blanca Weiss|Somebody else dessroyed the first one[[, and the other – [[Julie Reveals Herself|and the second one was…shoved up my…keyhoooole….uh…]]

BVJ: You shoved the Sonichu medallion up your ass? (looks dramatically at camera)

CHRIS: Yip…yeah, it was..yeah, I don’t wanna talk about that.

BVJ: Why did you do that?

CHRIS: [sigh] Between uh…my theoretical ex-girlfriend and being [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmailed…Playstation Network theft]]….yeah. I don’t – that’s en – that’s enough said.

BVJ: So you chose to shove it up your…your boyhole?

CHRIS: [sigh] yeah…

BVJ: This is NOT the same one you put up your ass? [holding hands away from medallion dramatically]

CHRIS: Definitely not.

BVJ: Ok. Thank god. [more wiping hands on clothing and mugging for camera] That would be a little gross, right?

CHRIS: Nyah.

BVJ: This is the Rosechu?

CHRIS: Rosechu, yeah.

BVJ: Do you have like a napkin or something? [jump cut]

CAMERAMAN: And what’s your, uh, Etsy store link? So people can…buy your stuff?

CHRIS: It’s closed right now, I don’t know if I’ll be opening up after I catch up on my orders. Uh it’s CWCville Shopping on Etsy. It’s a link on my YouTube page, CWCville Guardian.

BVJ: CWCville Guardian, that’s a pretty snazzy name [sarcastic look at camera]

CHRIS: No, CWC, it spells – when you say it as a word it’s [sic] comes out as Quick. So…

BVJ: Wouldn’t it be like….ssswwwwsssskkkk?

CHRIS: Quickly, to the Tardis! [waves around Tardis blanket]

BVJ: Hooooly crap, that is…can you hold that up for us?

CHRIS: I brought it with me as something to s – as one to sit on.

BVJ: That is quite a meme right there.

CAMERAMAN: Alright, I think we are ready to start.

BVJ: Alright, everything’s turned up?

[jump cut to Chris fondling Equestria Chris]

BVJ: So you’re a Brony?

CHRIS: Ah, no, I’m a pegasister.

BVJ: Oh right, cause you’re a…(CHRIS: Yes.) A trans…woman.

CHRIS: I’m a…yes…I’m a [singing] female soooooooul!

[jump cut]

CHRIS: So do you wear glasses on your….all your online videos?

BVJ: Sometimes. [Chris looks very unsettled]

[jump cut]

CHRIS: I’m Christine Weston Chandler, formerly known as Christian Weston Chandler,

[jump cut]

BVJ: [slaps legs] So how are you doing today, first of all.

CHRIS: I’m all right.

BVJ: Cool cool. What do you think about the fame and popularity Sony-chu has brought to you?

CHRIS: Uh, SONichu. Uh…I’m kinda like, eh, somewhere in the middle about it, cause…’s nice, a lotta people know about me ‘n my characters, but then also, uh, lotta bad people been giving me bullying ‘n grief ‘n….’nets just been bringing me down emotionally ‘n mentally. Between blackmail…uh…dis, dat uh…[gestures with hand, sniffs] it’s hard – it’s just a lot – it’s so long a list an’ (cling?) theoretical ex-girlfriends who turned out not…to be…cert- not to be who they were. I don’t like dishonest or mean pe- cruel people. Learn some gen’ral kindness! And…honesty and…humility (lol)…don’t always…got hate. Don’t hate. Love conquers hate.

BVJ: Do you regret anything you’ve done in the past?

CHRIS: Definitely uh…fit…among de footage and thing…and pitchurs I’ve drawn of….quite revealing content.

BVJ: If you could undo one thing you’ve done in the past, what would that be?

CHRIS [sigh] Uh..undo one…thing…dat…mmm…I guess…fff..learning that I…funded [sic] the…Encyclopedia Dramaddica page inna first place. Then…I wouldn’t have – I wouldn’t have known…I woulda been…blissfully ignorant! [raises hands, shakes bracelets] Of da bad people. [tongue out]

BVJ: Do you regret posting those characters anywhere, or, or…

CHRIS: Uh…no I do not regret posting them, I just feel bad dat dey been crim…dey been criminally defaced, an’ brought to shame, the – I feel that the trolls and the (means bullies but says boys) and everything they’ve done against me and all that, they essentially took the fun out of it.

BVJ: And, you’ve said things that could be considered racist in the past. (CHRIS: Um…) Have your views changed on those?

CHRIS: Yes, b – esp – yes, um…I never really had anything against, uh, race or people, I never really did, uh…but im – in thought of that, the one president Obama joke that my father came up with about painting da house – White House prematurely, uh, yeah…[waves hand dismissively] that’s not my thing. That was, that was his opinion and his feelings alone, and that was…years ago. I have nothing against black people or anyone else of other countries, or yeah – or ra- wherever. Whoever.

BVJ: Well we have a quote here, you said…I hate N- [cuts off]

CHRIS: [looks very put out] I never said that. Migh’na been that parody I did of Uncle Ruckus’s songs against da gays but which dat…my views have been changed. (ironically sounds like “my views have not changed”). Well it def’nly came about when I realized dat I was a lesbian transwoman and I felt…comfortable amongst the LGBTQ community. I still feel – feel uncomfortable around males in general, but for da most part I will be civil, and uh…not mean to, not mean to any of them, unless any of them are directly mean to me. I definitely respond better to kindness, but um…yeah, I [stammers] have my eyes set on da women. And, very much attracted to women.

BVJ: So you’re straight.

CHRIS [angry sigh, looks annoyed] I’m a LESBIAN TRANSWOMAN, my FEMALE SOUL is attracted to women, so derefore I am a lesbian.

BVJ: But you were born a male, correct?

CHRIS: [even more annoyed] Ugh….yes, born male, but that’s irrelevant.

BVJ: How many genders are there?

CHRIS: Dere’s a lot more than [stammers]

[some really annoying music plays I’M A SCAT MAN! as Chris stammers]

CHRIS: Dat’s my guess, my educated guess.

BVJ: Could you name a few?

CHRIS: Well, there’s trans male, trans women, um (BVJ: That’s two.) …uh…uh…male female (BVJ: Four.) shoot….uh….well I’ve [sic] definitely would say uM, with regards to what f – what gender you feel you are inside, between male and female, versus or, im – in retrospect with what – the physical form you’re born with, uh [stammering, the editing cuts off what he was going to say and splices in more stammering]

BVJ: Do you consider yourself famous?

CHRIS: Uh. Mildly, yes. Umm…I feel like it’s positive because I have seen kindness from de asshual good and honest people…and…it’s brought lil – it’s brought at least a little bit of sutsess to…mit – myself personally and my…family? In regards to, or opposing to, like say, my half-brother Joseph Cole Smithey. And…his…[wipes greasy face] movie reviewing. Eh, but still I just feel like…’e’s so sussessful, he lives in, like an esspensive New York apartment, wit his wife, he could help out wit – he could help his own mother. Our sh – our mother. We share da same mother!

BVJ: So could you tell me about uh, a little about your family and your upbringing?

[the editing speeds up Chris’s answer, for no apparent reason, but Chris mentions his parents and Cole and how they share the same mother but not the same father, and says that his family used to be quite large but has shrunk in the past number of years]

CHRIS: Nobody’s around forever….[does sign of the cross] remember the ones who cared, and I definitely respect everyone from who…remembers, as suffered, or survived from….911 and all dat. [graphic of “Remembering 911” randomly appears]

BVJ: What do you think about the Black Lives Matter movement?

CHRIS: Uhhh, Black Li – I have not heard of that. Well…Black Lives Matter. It sounds like it’s…uh…maybe people, black people are, sounds like dey’re having trouble? But I feel…that, you know, to help any person in general, regardless of race [#AllLivesMatter flashes] or whatever. I mean, I’m for…de, uh…Black Lives forever.

BVJ: Do you consider yourself oppressed as a trans woman?

CHRIS: [confused] Um…O-pressed? [Oprah picture flashes for some reason] I’m not sure what da definition of o-pressed is.

BVJ: Do you feel as if you are mistreated, because of how you identify.

CHRIS: Oh! Mostly, uh…I’ve actually seen more of kindness from…at least locally, and I tend to ignore de, uh, boys (bullies) and trolls, especially with in the past, more recent years. Aside from – well – you have the haters, just uh, usually would shrug dat off…

[another irritating sequence of jump cuts with Chris saying “I feel like, I don’t feel…I think I feel…do not feel…”]

BVJ: Would you consider yourself a feminist?

CHRIS: Yes. Girl…woman power! Girls are strong, we kick butt!

[camera zooms in on Chris for some reason, before editing Chris’s next statement to sound like he is saying “Mmm, Butter” and flashing a picture of a stick of butter]

CHRIS: Y’all don’t totally know me from what I’ve done in past dat’s been uploaded on ‘ne Innernet, ‘n taken oudda context, y’all would be – would be better off getting to know me personally or better, I’m ashually – I’m ashually quite likeable.

BVJ: Are you still on your Love Quest?

CHRIS: Yes, but definitely feel that – and with that, um…in my relationship with women, uh wuh – ff- who I find to be my – ff – [deep breath] oh, my eventual sweetheart, def’nitely will be on the friends, friends first, den relationship layer on….yeah, it’s uh – it’ll be a mutual thing between her an’ me an’…I’d leave de…if and when of…private circumstances…up to her.

BVJ: When you…went into that Gamestop, what were you thinking?

[plays clip of DON’T CALL ANYBODY where Chris maces the Gamestop employee]

BVJ: The Gamestop where you pepper-sprayed the employee.

CHRIS: Oh, yeah…I was not esspecting to be…irrecepted like dat. Annnn I acted, pretty much, out of in sel- in actual self-defense…

[the clip is played again, directly when Chris sprays the mace]

CHRIS: …between uh, disinformed perceptionnnns….and being harassed previously, like dat, I never actually was able to defend myself before. Back den I thought, this was a positive means [text “meeeemes” flashes for some reason], but den it turns out, it went wrong, an re- and the reason behind that which was the Sonic the Hedgehog om – arm color change. [“No Colors Allowed” is flashed on the screen] Yeah, ‘n ‘at was just…plain trivial an’ I…really wish I had not…started that prot – dat protest ‘nna first place.

BVJ: So you believe that’s not a…’ppropriate reaction? To the change of a cartoon character’s arm color.

CHRIS: Yesssssss…I’ve come – I’ve realized dat. When I…did a search for my name brandomly [sic] ‘s da first thing I did when I just got my Nintendo Wii, and uh…den I found da Encyclopediadrammadica page an…learn ‘nat…people were…makin’ a mockery of me, gib’n me hate, an ‘nat just…really…threw me off. Initially, I fffffelt quite distraught, I felt…ashamed, I felt…some anger, I felt…rebellious, I felt…like dis is not right, dese people don’t know me for who -for the person I am, or was back den, they don’t know me personally. Yeah, dis webpage, ‘s just not right, I…tried multiple times ta…personally try to take it down and request it taken down, and dey said NO! And to change it so it’s more accurate, and dey didn’t do it! And eventually I…just…like I learned from…dat…parody song…You’ve been trolled, you probably told, don’t reply to this guy, he’s just getting a rise out of [starting to sing] you, yes it’s true, you respond and dat’s his cue, you start trouble on da double, while he (strokes his bendy skull????) You been trolled, you been trolled, you should probably just fold, when the only winning move is not to PLAAAAAY! And yet you keep on trying, and (??) replying, you been trolled, you been trolled, [holds up a hand to wave] have a nice day!

[camera randomly zooms in on Chris’s hand as he drops it back down]

BVJ: That’s amazing.

CHRIS: Tend to not…put…new revealing information about somebody’s past, against dem currently as long as…they’re actually…in the longer run, since after these past fee- these past feelings on…before flip-flopping or whatever…

BVJ: Would you ever run for President yourself?

CHRIS: NO. [jump cut to big stress sigh] We have our dogs, our fickle finances go up go down…the second halves of the months are usually worst on us in the house…[hand up on head] it’s a real strain. I mean regardless of my…impulses, impulse purchases dat…de trolls are ashually going into, and just [autistic hand twitch]…I don’t know, just…like being da paparazzi behind my back or, looking t’rough online transitions – transactions an’ wha-ever, that IS an ivasion [sic] of privacy! And that’s, uh, nobody’s business but my own, but I am still helping out my mother and the household. And I just, need a little time…I just need a little now and then, treat or time for myself, as anybody else would!

BVJ: You said you have dogs, what kind of dogs do you have?

CHRIS: Dey’re both beagles.

BVJ: What are their names?

CHRIS: [amazed he doesn’t know] Clover and Snoopy! A – sometimes I like to call ‘im Snoopy Doo. Dis is – mooshis (???) Scooby and Snoopy!

[more edited splicing of Chris stammering]

CHRIS: Da house was a lot more cluttered before da fire. An my mom wanted ta…plug in dis new coffee – dis new coffee maker dat uh…she – dat Mr. C had gotten like a year or two before? And wan – to go for – want to enjoy some of de…K Cup type coffee! So, mm….got dese extension cord I found the nearest available plug, and it was uh…[gestures] in da nearby…bathroom. But the coffee maker was…outside the bathroom. On a uh…dresser. And uh, we couldn’t cl – we couldn’t close the door, I uh [hand to face] I didn’t – I wasn’t thinking too clearly, I didn’t think as much, but I end up looping the uh, esstension cord OVER de door! And uh, the arc above the door, dat’s…POOF! [music of We Didn’t Start the Fire starts playing] And dat’s where the fire started, and…yeah mos – yeah, ummm…give or take, I’m not pointing fingers if it was here, from my mis – my mistakes, and I have made a lotta mistakes regardless, um…or my mudder want, the uh…coffee maker plugged in! Or…even de coffee maker itself, with da….de…with its possible faulty wiring and he had to go back and forth bet-between da mechanism and da socket? What happened happened, dat’s water under the bridge,

BVJ: So you burnt your house down.

CHRIS: [stress sigh] It was definitely nassident (an accident), it was not intended.

BVJ: You accidentally burnt your house down.

CHRIS: Yeah. At least…the majority of us, we got out safe. [text “The Majority?” flashes onscreen] All the original drawings an everything, all that, they were safe, but…definitely lost was uh…couple of things that were...hanging on my bedroom wall were destroyed in the fire.

[editing of Chris doing the sign of the cross again with chorus singing and Jesus photo superimposed over footage]

BVJ: What is that?

CHRIS: What?

BVJ: What’s that move. That thing.

CHRIS: What, you don’t know ‘bout that? I don’t know, I just took it from watching – seen it on television, I just feel like – got – feel like when I do it’s ‘s like “God help me”. Jesus did help us, uh…I feel like, um…we only have…yeah, dere’s o – dere’s one God, an ev’body regardless of the name….yeah, mm…dat’s…dat’s definitely also taking a little bit from the wisdom of Matt Groening, between…between the Simpsons and Futurama. Stayf…our…stayf…State Farm par-personnel was able to help us, uh…get us into a hotel for a f-into a hotel for a few weeks, before we got de…rental house dat we stayed in for dat…number of months?

[cameraman gets bored and starts zooming in and out on Braveryjerk]

BVJ: Now, can we get an update on your man-cl [cut off]

CHRIS: [frustrated] PLEASE, no comment!

BVJ: No comment? You made several comments on your, uh, public Facebook page.

CHRIS: Ugh. Yeah, dat was…impulsive and summa dat was brought on by…yeah, ‘n ex-girlfriend of mine of recent, but she left me of the uh…dishonesty therein, but uh, anyway I’m still transitioning, let’s just leave it at dat.

BVJ: So you, you believe that the bloody hole in your taint (CHRIS: Oh…please…) is…

CHRIS: Please, please, please! No comment! No comment! (BVJ: Have you…) Everything’s healed up, it’s all good, I’m still alive, let’s just l – give that…let’s just leave that – lie – lay that down to rest.

BVJ/CAMERAMAN?: Is there anything else you wanna say before…

CHRIS: Um…[open and close mouth like a fish] I’d say…to everybody on the Innernet…eh…f-face-to-face kindness and…meet and greets are better than online…yeah, meet first…it’s a whole – I feel like that’s more important den…mee’in anybody online communicating, you can…anyway, aside from d at, um…be good, be kind, have a good safe day!

BVJ: Hell yeah, my nig- [cut off]

CHRIS: Stop hayding, stop boying (bullying)! Love is better den hate! Kindness is berr res – better rescepted [sic] and more welcoming…den…mistrust, dislike, hatred, hurtful comments…if you got s- if you don’t have anything nice to say, mostly keep it to yourself, or amongst yourselves…

[flute music is edited in, the camera circles Braveryjerk and Chris before showing Chris putting away his toys. The camera slides around on a table, making a scraping sound.]

BVD: Alright, brofist! See you, good day.

CHRIS: Yeah, take care.

[more stupid editing commences]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Interview videos]]

Examples of Chris's Ego

2017-06-06T06:49:35Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Other */

This is an exhaustive list of documented '''Examples of Chris's Ego''' in the real world and in the Sonichu Comic. It warrants its own page.

==In the real world==

===School===
*[[Manchester High School]] - When Chris graduated from high school, he actually cried because he believed that he deserved a number of artistic awards for his [[Chris and art|artwork]]. By his own admission, he also made a scene and ran out after getting his diploma, eventually having to be consoled by both his [[mother]] and gal-pal [[Tiffany Gowen]].
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] - After being expelled for his [[Chris and anger|appalling behavior]] by the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Student's Dean]], Chris felt the need to write to the Then-Standing President of the United-States, [[George W. Bush]]. The idea that a standing President would be willing to use his clout to reverse a local community college's administrative decision is ludicrous at best.

===Public places===
*[[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] - When asked to cease his solicitation, Chris refused to budge, rambled on in some stupid speech, and actually ''ran''. He would do this again in a [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] soon after, only to be arrested in the process.
*[[The GAMe PLACe]] - Chris acted in this store as if he owned the place. He was rude to the patrons and staff, abused the access to a flat-screen TV, and was an all-around pain for the manager, [[Michael Snyder]]. After many antics, he was banned from the place. Chris filmed a half-assed [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apology]] nine months later, not because he was sorry for his actions, but because the store was the only place that had [[The Eye of Judgment|Eye of Judgment]] cards. Chris has also attempted to incite harassment of employees of the store (using the very fans he had chastised mere weeks earlier), simply because Michael had refused to remove his ban.
*[[McIntire Park]] - During a newscast, Chris happened to pass by a cameraman who was videotaping someone being interviewed. As he did, he flashed his Sonichu [[medallion]] as if to say "Hey, look at me! I'm more important!" Sometime later, he appeared in a town hall meeting over the park itself. He flashed his shitty Sonichu and Rosechu drawing in a bizarre attempt to save it, then tried to interrupt the proceedings with a speech about how he didn't want to pay for a YMCA membership when the recognized speaker made the mistake of referring to him. He was no doubt trying to gain sympathy by noting that it would make an ostensible retard sad to build the YMCA. Chris also requested that the wading pool be deeper, which likely means the wading pool was not meant to be used by a full-grown adult. Chris was promptly and thankfully shot down.
*[[Chris and the Law|Prison]] - During [[28 October 2011|his time in jail]], Chris stated he refused to eat the prison food, since he had [[autism|never done it]] and was not going to start any time soon, and eating the food was beneath him.
*[[GameStop|Gamestop]] - Following the incident on [[26 December 2014]] in which he maced a [[JERKS|male]] [[Manajerks|employee]] after fleeing a Gamestop which he had been banned from previously due to the [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalisation]] of one of their Sonic Boom displays, he had went on to say that he in fact was the victim of the whole situation in a lengthy Facebook post.

===With people===
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] - One of Chris's first crushes. Chris made the small booklet ''[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]'' in an attempt to win her over on her 21st birthday. The booklet was merely a major ego trip, talking more about him and less about her, with the two of them replaced with Sonichu and Rosechu. He later cast her in his Sonichu comic and having her break up with [[Wes Iseli]] before disposing her when she was married away to [[William Spicer]].
*[[Megan Schroeder]] - For the longest time, Chris actually believed that he and Megan were going out as boyfriend and girlfriend. He even attacked someone for getting near Megan. When the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] picture was discovered, Chris actually thought that the reason she was upset was because she wasn't used to sexual things, and not the fact that she realised that Chris saw her as [[Women's rights|nothing more than a]] [[sex toy]]. He then tried to make Megan believe that the bullying from those amongst [[ED]] was MUCH worse than the fact that he did the picture because he was afraid of trying to rape her. He also insisted that he was under much more emotional pain than she was, somehow believing that [[Trolls]] posting pictures of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]] on the Internet was worse than a so-called "friend" sexually harassing and drawing porn of you. Chris would later blame ED for the fact that he lost her friendship, not caring it was his fault in the first place.
*[[Jerkop|Jerkops]] - Thanks to Chris's various run-ins with the law, Chris has a very skewed view of law enforcement. After being tossed out of [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], he deemed that security guards were evil and just trying to play [[Kick the Autistic]] and prevent him from completing his [[Love Quest]]. However, following his arrest on [[28 October 2011]], Chris has now assumed that ''all'' law enforcement is evil and has gone out of his way to make sure they never take him into any sort of custody again.
*[[Vanessa Hudgens]]: [[Joshua Martinez]] used the identity of the ''High School Musical'' star to troll Chris by pretending "Vanessa" wanted to ride his [[duck]]. The fact that Chris actually believed a ''bona fide'' celebrity wanted to give him her [[china]] speaks volumes about his hubris.
*[[10 September 2009]] - Chris, in his ever-growing paranoia, automatically assumes that a possible interview from Veronica Belmont of ''PlayStation Magazine Europe'' is a troll because the person didn't leave a return number, demanding that if she truly wanted to interview him, she should come ''personally'' to his house... then starts trying to suck up to her just in case it wasn't a troll.
*[[Rejected Mailbag]] - Chris hates being proven wrong, especially about Asperger's and autism being part of the same spectrum. He also takes issue with letters that point out the flaws in his comic pages, which is interesting considering [[Chris and hypocrisy|he has no problem telling fans about the flaws he finds in their fan art, calling it "constructive criticism"]]. He's gone from simply ignoring people correcting his mistake to placing these "offending" letters in his rejected mailbag. Even more, when any of the letters mention the similarities between autism and Aspergers, he tosses them into his "Autism Mailbag" and whenever someone tries to mention anything else connected to his past, he automatically goes into a "mental block" and refuses to go any further. On 5 December 2009, Chris wrote a long essay that made little sense, which mainly consisted of him bawwwing that he was a unique and special snowflake, and that Aspies are faking fakers that take away the specialness of his autism. Despite autism and Asperger's existing in the populace long before he was born, and Chris being a [[virgin with rage]], Chris also states that he [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"...Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People".]]
*[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|The Sonichu promotional video]] - In the Part 2 of his video, Chris shows to the camera an elegant drawing of the two main heroes of the comic book made by a fan called Allie. Not only does he proceed to comment "Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her," he presents an actual, sub-par copy of the drawing made by himself as a better version.
*[[Chris and copyright|Copyright claim against Vivian Gee]] - For the most part, Chris ignored the [[Audiobooks]] that were being made out of his comics. However, when he found out that they were being "sold", Chris issued [[Death threats]] against [[Vivian Gee]], threatening to kill her AND [[Clyde Cash|her family]]. He then released his own [[Official Videobooks]], which he believed to be better than Vivian's. These consisted of holding up the TRUE and ORIGINAL pages up to a camera and waving the page around as he stumbled through the dialogue, made childish sound effects, and failed to explain what was actually going on. He excused himself a month later and asked for a quote of 25% out of the donations she received for her hard work. It is worth mentioning that the excuse AND the demand for a share of the profits were in the same e-mail, separated by a single dot.
*[[Jimmy Hill]], [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] - While Chris is more than willing to declare Sonichu as a parody so he can make his multimedia franchise, he blows his stack whenever someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu and himself. He threatened "legal action" during the Jimmy Hill saga and went all out to prove himself the True and Honest Chris when Liquid showed up. During the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], when Liquid threatened to go to the police over the Gun Comic, Chris was certain that the police would be more concerned over the fact that someone was impersonating him than the fact that he threatened to murder him. When Alec Benson Leary's Asperchu began to be more popular than Sonichu, Chris decided to pull a number of things, including a moment of "pot calling the kettle black" in which he decries Asperchu as crappy because it was computer drawn.
*[[Father Call]] - When talking to [[Kacey]]'s father, his ego clashed horribly against Matt's attempts to get through to his head, comparing losing a loved one to Chris losing his [[Patti|dog]], declaring that mowing the lawn (a menial task) was tough work, and utterly missing various cues to people's hardships, such as when Matt told him that his mother pulled weeds while inflicted with arthritis. Chris could only apologize for her having arthritis, not be impressed by the feat.
*[[Evan]] - When Evan created the character "Simonchu" as a joke, Chris took it, turned it into a girl and renamed her "[[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]]". When Evan got tired of Chris using the monstrosity, he demanded that he kill her. Chris has refused many times but in [[Mailbag 43#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 43]] took the cake: he told Evan, in detail, how his Simonchu would try to take back Simonla, how Wild Sonichu would defend and defeat Simonchu and Simonla would return to Evan's "ECGVille" and say that she didn't want to come back, all under Chris's GDC ("Great Director Chandler") powers.
*[[Shigeru Miyamoto]] - Chris was convinced that Miyamoto, who is a world-famous video game designer and creator of beloved and legendary franchises like ''Super Mario Bros'', ''Donkey Kong'', ''The Legend of Zelda'' and ''Star Fox'', would not only be honored to meet him, but in fact even ''more'' honored to meet Chris than Chris would be to meet him. Then, even after having his game proposal rejected by Miyamoto, Chris still remained convinced that Miyamoto was only "holding out on [him]" and would surely accept his offer in the near future.
*[[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] - Chris loves to hold some form of superiority over people he doesn't like, and the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|calls Alec made]] to Chris are great examples. Chris calls Alec's art "crappy" several times, his reasoning being that it is drawn with a tablet, and doesn't have the "character" that his own pencil-and-paper methods apparently convey. He also tells Alec he is "obviously naïve" because he ''doesn't'' believe that cartoon and comic book characters have real feelings and hasn't been deceived countless times by trolls, and implies that he thinks Alec is pathetic in a rather snide tone of voice, while having no real reasons to back this up. Despite Alec actually being genial to him during the first few calls, Chris attempts to insult and demean him anyway, and acts like a child being scorned when Alec inevitably becomes angered by this. In [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|one call]], Chris actually has the balls to tell Alec that there was a price to pay for making him kill off Simonla - Alec, Evan, Sean and Mao's deaths in the comic.
*[[Bob Chandler]] - On 01 [[March 2010]], Chris [[twitter|tweeted]] the sad news that Bob Chandler, Chris's father, was hospitalized with a life-threatening heart condition. Instead of asking for prayers, like many [[Chris and religion|Christians]] do, or putting his comic on hold, he whined about the [[stress]] it caused him and talked about the newest dates for release of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu 11]]. The next day, he released [[02 March 2010|two]] [[Surfshack Tito|videos]]. Neither had any info on or mention of his father or his condition. He didn't even update [[CWCipedia|his website]] or his [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|blog]] with the sad news. Here's the sum of all the love and concern Chris expressed for his Dad: one and a half lines of the 11 tweets he sent that afternoon.<ref>[http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu Chris's Twitter]</ref>
*[[True and Loyal Fanbase|Fans]] - Ever since day one, Chris has treated his fanbase like shit. He insulted one of the few fans he had, and shrugs his shoulders and says "Whatever" whenever a fan tells him they are going to leave, yet then expects them to come to his aid whenever necessary. When Chris lost his latest [[gal-pal]] due to troll interference, not only did he attack the trolls, he also attacked his fans, claiming that they have no life of their own and comparing them to Mary Lee Walsh in trying to stop him from finding a sweetheart. Hilariously, Chris thinks that he has over a billion fans. Let's put this into perspective: the internet has close to ''two billion users''. Chris thinks he has half of them.
*[[The Wallflower]] - The Wallflower was a woman Chris hung out with outside of the Young Adult Social Group. In an article in the CWCipedia, Chris shoves the blame on The Wallflower herself, saying that she should never have had a Facebook page or Fanfiction.net page and that, because she refuses to give ''him'' an apology for this, rather than ''him'' to ''her'' as it should be, she will forever hold the guilt of breaking his heart. In addition, Chris claims that the two of them had "exchanged DNA" at the movies and that she was his girlfriend in his [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"C-Ya Later" video]], when in reality, they were never more than friends. A recent video shows that he ''still'' thinks she was his girlfriend and he still hasn't let go of her.
*[[Trolls]] - One of the things that has enraged even casual Christorians is his smugness towards even his trolls. In Chris's own mind, he has come up with the image that they are actually [[homos]]exual [[niggos|blacks]] who are jealous of his work and are slowly becoming autistic by staying on the computer. Furthermore, he has arrived at the belief that they are only jealous of his material goods. Chris's paranoia has gotten to the point where he openly blames them for driving him out of every place he could go to, as well as for his inability to make friends.
*[[Lars]] - Even though Chris has been known for the longest time to berate [[JERKS|most other males]] for taking all of the [[boyfriend-free girl]]s and leaving none for him, he was more than happy to taunt Lars like a little kid about his breakup with [[Jackie]], acting like he is actually proud of taking her away from him (with liberal use of [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|racist terms]]) and threatening [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|to kill him]] should he say anything about it. [[Chris and hypocrisy|Now there's something to think about]]. However, it should be noted that this [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|isn't the first time]] [[SHE IS MINE NOW|he has done this]].
*[[Love Quest]] - A recurring requirement for potential [[boyfriend-free girl]]s, established most notably on his [[attraction sign]]s and in his [[Sonichu's_News_Dash]], is that they be age 18-[Chris's current age]. In the latter, he goes as far as to specify "18-21 years of age (18-22 as of February 24, 2004 [the date on which Chris turned 22])", demonstrating that although he expects 18-year-old girls to be interested in him regardless of his age, anyone so much as a ''day'' older than Chris doesn't meet his standards. Also, Chris has stated he would not date a girl with autism or any other mental disabilities, yet expects a woman to accept an autistic manchild like himself.
*[[Jackie]] - In the final e-mail exchanges<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 21]], [[Jackie E-mails 22]] and [[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref> between the two, Jackie, quite accurately, pointed out many of Chris's flaws, also taking the time to rationally explain what he was doing wrong and what he could do to fix things. However, Chris took it the wrong way, claiming that she was being mean to him and [[Kick the Autistic|hating]] him by pointing out his flaws, still believing himself to be flawless and special. Ultimately, but perhaps predictably, it was Chris's own ego that led to the resulting collapse of the relationship.
* [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] - The latest of the many trolls to come after Chris, Chris's ego has ramped up incredibly after [[Calling Out|his return to the internet]]. In his first video in eight months, Chris revealed that he had dox on him and was pretty much blackmailing him to do certain things, lest Chris reveal those dox. Chris's demands were for him to apologize to Sony for hacking the Playstation Network (actually done by entirely unrelated people), apologize to The Wallflower for breaking her and Chris up (when it was her finding out about how sick Chris was that ended their ''friendship'', not ''relationship'' - something he never had), to pay him $1000 (probably to pay for the [[PS3]] that ''he destroyed'') and to remove everything he added to the [[CWCki]] (despite the fact that anyone with half a brain could easily reupload it).
* [[Michael Snyder]] - Michael has been a thorn in Chris's side since the day he was kicked out of the [[GAMe PLACe]]. At first, it seemed that Chris's animosity towards Michael was minor, and that he just wanted to go back and start buying stuff again. However, after [[The Wallflower]] incident, Chris had stepped up his attempts to get back in and failed miserably. This has lead Chris to throw "anti-Semitic" "slurs" (e.g., calling him a "[[South Park|Jew]]"), and attempting vehicular assault at least twice. As of now, he sees Michael as some sort of ring leader for cyber-bullying and considers the GAMe PLACe to be the headquarters for it all. Though Snyder was openly lenient on the charges, Chris still called him a "thieving liar" before the judge.
* [[Barbara Chandler]] - Despite [[Tomboys_And_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Mothers|her disapproval]] of his [[Tomgirl]] shenanigans (she even tried bribing him to get him to stop wearing a bra and panties), Chris continued to parade around as a crossdresser, no doubt causing a lot of undue embarrassment to his mother. From what little contact anyone had with Chris since a [[28 October 2011|certain incident]], Chris has shown no visible [[Remorse|remorse]] for getting his aging mother thrown in jail and waist deep in legal troubles since then. While he does mention Barb as being "the only person who cares about him" in a [[Facebook]] note, the note primarily focuses on his grievances with the trolls and how much they've made his life miserable. Again, this comes on the heels of the Chandlers ending up in legal troubles, which was entirely his fault.

===Online===
*[[CWC's Second Message]] - In what would be his opening attack on trying to get the trolls to remove his page following losing Megan, Chris's opening words, amazingly, were:
{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.}}
*[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]] - Another shining example of Chris's ego in video form: Chris expects, and even '''demands''', respect from everybody, even though Chris has never shown anybody else any kind of respect. Plus, considering all of the things he's done: adding people to his comic so that he can beat them up, [[mass debating]] on camera, discriminating against others because of [[niggos|race]], [[JERKS|gender]], and [[homos|sexual orientation]], spending [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]] on [[Kimmi|sex toys]] and [[PS3|video games]], uploading poorly-drawn [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|pictures]] of himself fingering [[Megan]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and then blaming them for her breaking up with him; he has never done anything to warrant the respect of '''anyone'''.
*[[LittleBigPlanet]] - When Chris had shown up on LBP community and posted videos addressed to them, he once again said people "should know him by now". He immediately assumed people would praise him for his levels, especially the "Collector's Case", which he thought was the most original LBP level idea ''ever.''
*[[For G4's Web Soup|Web Soup]] - When Chris learned that one of his videos was featured on an episode, he took it as a good thing, not realizing that the show made fun of people on the Internet.
*[[Sonichu's Edge|Chris]] [[CWCFighter|and]] [[51 50|exercise]] - Many times, Chris has shown his attempts at exercising or performing some sort of strenuous feat. He considered [[Power|lifting up a chair]] to be a great feat of strength, thought that lifting two 12-pack boxes was akin to lifting two 50-pound weights, and even showed his "amazing" Parkay skills.
*[[Chris and Wikipedia|Chris and famous people]] - Chris has compared himself to [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo Buonarotti]] in artistic ability. He has also compared himself in ability or personality to President [[Barack Obama]], [[SingStar Challenge|Frank Sinatra]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Bing Crosby]], [[Red Skelton]], Dick van Dyke, [[I Love Lucy|Ricky Ricardo]], and Jaleel White, who voiced Sonic the Hedgehog in the original three Sonic cartoons. He has also compared himself to many fictional characters such as [[Transformers|Optimus Prime]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]], [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]], and [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]. Since free-riding on someone else's talents is nothing new for Chris, he saw no issue into incorporating known people in [[Chandler Family Tree|his family tree]]. This is how [[Anne Boleyn]], [[Daniel Weston]] and an unknown [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee fellow]] appeared in his ancestry for no logical reason whatsoever. He pushed the audacity to edit many [[Wikipedia]] pages to validate his hubris. All entries have been redacted and his account was blocked.
*[[Chris E-Mails]] - Chris's massive ego manifests itself eagerly through his correspondence with other people. For example, he e-mailed the O'Reilly Factor, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News at least twice, telling them about his Encyclopedia Dramatica page. Not only did he outright expect them to report on it and give it extensive television coverage, but he expected the FBI (which he also believed was apparently part of the crew for the news shows) to go after Jason Kendrick Howell. Other examples include that while he apologized to Megan for drawing [[shecameforcwc.jpg]], he told her that she owed him money, and that he tried to coax [[Anna McLerran]] and Megan into vandalizing his ED page for him. He also believed that people thought their ranking on his [[Scale of Respect]] was of the utmost importance, as illustrated by his correspondence with Mary Lee Walsh.
*[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)|Chris and his ED Page]] - Since Chris is a known narcissistic loon, he never liked mirrors of any kind. When the [[Jason Kendrick Howell|nice folks]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] found him, they couldn't resist the urge to satirize his own existence. Said article turned into a circus whereby [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|he tried to retract, modify, erase]], and even supply the page with [[shecameforcwc.jpg|new]] [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|material]]. In 17 [[December 2009]], he went as far as copying the main article page out of ED and edited out at his convenience.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Chris_chan]</ref>
*[[CWCipedia|Chris and his own webpage]] - When Chris was given his own webpage, he found himself bombarded with gay ads, all paid for by [[Jack Thaddeus]]. After dealing with this for months on end, Chris finally had enough and proclaimed that he wrote to currently-standing President Barack Obama in an attempt to make gay ads illegal, despite the fact that this kind of ad is still protected under free speech and even if he got the letter, there's a slim (read: zero) chance that Obama, who legalized national gay marriage, will actually listen to his whiny, fat, homophobic ass. While addressing the matter, Chris proclaims himself ''the captain of this boat'' and says that without him, CWCipedia would not exist, implying that he does all the hard work on the website, ignoring all of the Sysop's efforts. In fact, CWCipedia was a privilege given to Chris and not at all something that he came up with. Chris has taken this to an absolute extreme, going as far as to suggest that he is the "Captain" of CWCipedia.
*[[Sonichu Forum|Chris and the Sonichu Forum]] - When Chris discovered a troll site filed with people pretending to be Sonichu fans, he used it to its maximum possible extent. The notorious [[Mailbag 50]] was made using hand-picked posts from the forum, selected for their copious amounts of ass-kissing. When one troll suggested that Chris [[Sonichu Forum#Chris doesn't own a mirror|wasn't much of a catch IRL]], Chris responded with anger, demanding to know what could possibly make them think that he was anything less than awesome.
*[[CWCki|Chris and the CWCki]] - On 10 March 2010, Chris ended up discovering the CWCki due to the fiasco that led to his breakup with [[The Wallflower]]. He demanded that all pages concerning him, his family and friends be altered or [[death threats|there would be trouble.]] Noticing the Wallflower's page altered, he took credit for it, not realizing that she had demanded it much earlier and had nothing to do with his earlier rant.
*[[Chris and the Internet|Leaving the Internet]] - No fewer than ''six times'', Chris has boldly claimed that he was "distancing himself from the internet" and that the only way he would be seen would be outside. However Chris has always returned, anywhere from 36 hours to eight months after making this bold claim. In a hypocritical sense, Chris hasn't left the internet - he's left the parts that he doesn't like anymore.
*[[Flipnote Hatena]] - After "distancing himself from the internet", Chris decided to bide his time on Flipnote Hatena, a website that allows him to post animated creations from the Nintendo DSi program Flipnote Studio. So far, Chris has used it to spread his word over how to deal with trolls by butchering a humorous music video, thinking its creator was thinking the same thing he was, and by creating a set of "tags", listing out a bunch of lies. At the end of [[An Ol' Classic Dream]], he demands that his brainwashed, obedient fanbase give him 5 million stars in exchange for an uncensored version of the already raunchy video. ON A G-RATED GAME. When mods took down his flipnotes, Chris would put them back on, disable comments on his page, then re-allow them, and post a flipnote that should have been him apologizing for doing so, but talked more about the trolls and his "Internet Rep" than an actual apology.
*[[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|Trollbusters]] - After returning to the Internet, Chris comes up with the idea for a "Trollbusters" group, having made shirts and cars on [[ModNation Racers]]. All of this was done so he can make the Internet safe for himself and himself alone, despite the fact that this directly flies in the face of the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution|First Amendment]. Searches through Google though, reveal that there have been other Trollbuster attempts in the past by other people and, most likely like this one, were doomed to fail.
* [[Calling Out]] - In Chris's first video since he "left" the internet, he just had to reintroduce himself to others, almost copying word for word the same thing he said when first began his attack on the trolls. As well, he stood to reveal that the Playstation Network hackings weren't the work of a series of hackers, but by Surfshack Tito himself.
* [[Facebook]] - On 1 April 2012, Chris posted a note on his Facebook, talking about how all of his [[trolls]] know nothing about him, that what they've said and done is totally uncalled for, and that the only person who cares about him is [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] and he would rather not meet anyone who might be a troll. This is despite the fact that numerous [[white knight]]s have attempted to tell Chris that he needs to straighten up or he's going to die, and some of the trolling attempts were attempts to get him to do just that. All of these were ignored. Later, on 28 April 2012, Chris placed screenshots on the CWCki forums, and started bragging about 'deceiving the trolls' despite them merely making small talk over his announcement about re-using the Attraction Sign. Even more telling, though, is his claim that he knows where every user lives, that that he'll [[Death threats|find them all]].
* [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing]] - Strapped for cash following the fire that temporarily cost him his home, Chris attempted to sell an original piece of Sonichu work. While initial attempts led to artificially increased prices through troll influence, Chris's later attempts to sell the work had him list the asking price at $1000 USD. Though it's probably due to desperation, the fact that Chris thought that his artwork was worth that much is astounding.
* [[Sonic Boom Protests| Downsized SEGA]] - On Feb 2, 2015, Chris took credit for SEGA's downsizing, stating that him and his 'pale-arm crusaders', with their boycotting, had damaged SEGA enough to force them to close office. This is despite the fact that "normal market forces" had been the supposed cause, literally ''nobody'' is joining Chris on his fight against blue arms, and SEGA is the publisher of all ''Sonic'' games. This gives some nicely- needed recent perspective on the size of his ego.

===Contests===
*[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]] - In an attempt to win a contest involving the animated avian lawyer, Chris went to great lengths to talk about himself, his rivalry with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Sonichu]], but very, ''very'' little about Birdman himself.
*[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] - In his reviews of the top 10 videos, Chris highly praised his entry and claimed it was the best. After losing the contest to [[Adam Stackhouse]], Chris would have a major hissy-fit over the loss, proclaiming even the slightest mistake as cheating, despite the fact that Chris himself had broken numerous rules in the process, including loading the contest with fake votes for him and bribing his [[Cole Smithey|stepbrother]] to vote for him. Even worse, he attempted to fabricate the PlayStation webpage to show that he himself had won and not Adam.
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] - After [[trolls]] caused Chris to win the contest in a misguided attempt to troll the entire gaming community, Chris vowed to spend his winnings (a $400 USD gift card) with his church. Instead, he barely spent half of it towards the church, taking the rest (approximately over $200) for himself to spend on [[McDonald's|fast food]], [[List of Chris' toys|toys]], [[Video games]] and [[Sex toys|god knows what else]].

===Other===
*[[Mumble 3]] - While talking to Clyde, Chris tells him that the reason why he doesn't have a job is because he has so many awesome skills, he just can't choose one, and not because he's lazy and shown himself to be [[Chris and writing|poor]] [[Chris and art|in]] [[Chris's resume|multiple]] [[CADD|skills]].
*[[Mumble 4]] - When Clyde asks Chris what kind of job he thinks he's qualified for, Chris says, "If anything, I'm overqualified...[for] every type of job available!"
*[[Chris and money]] - Chris refuses to get a job, completely under the extremely delusional belief that he can get more from his [[Monthly tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance payment]] than getting an actual job. Whenever the Chandlers are in financial troubles, Chris whines and complains, even though he has spent thousands on [[Lego]] and other frivolities. His refusal to get a job is best underscored in the [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris_explains_why_he_won't_get_a_job|April 2017 Facebook posts]], where his reasoning for why he refuses to get a job is because the trolls and bullies ruined his background check, even though [[Chris and the law|everything that caused him to get in trouble with the law]] was of his own doing and with no prodding from the trolls.
*[[Chris and health]] - Chris hates to be called fat. Deep in his mind, he honestly thinks he's the same somewhat skinny child he once was, despite the fact that he has a gut, is forced to wear a [[Muscle bra|bra]] to keep his colossal moobs in check and his hairline's retreating at an alarming rate. While he refuses to accept his baldness, he actually is claiming to be working on his gut. Beyond that, he refuses ''professional'' psychological help and honestly believes stuff such as autism and homosexuality are easily caught diseases.
*[[Chris and English]] - The whole purpose of language is to communicate thoughts and ideas to other people, but Chris has managed to turn his vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him, forcing people who want to communicate with him to understand his unusual vocabulary as opposed to Chris having to understand regular speech.
*[[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] - In the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him, and considered getting banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], finding out that [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] were posting info about him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]], and having his personal websites and accounts hacked to be far worse than losing two of his sweethearts [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]].
*[[Homos]]exuality - Given his passion for STAYING STRAIGHT, in [[Kacey Call 22]], Chris actually seems bemused by the idea that gay men don't find him attractive enough to "lure off the straight path."
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|His Church]] - In a recent [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|call to arms against Asperchu]], Chris reveals that he believes he can use his current congregation as a personal army.
*[[Wendy's]] - During his brief stint working there, Chris was shown to have been a particularly stubborn employee to work with, ultimately getting fired for scaring a kid with his [[Donald Duck impersonation]] to the point that he cried. [[Mumble #7|When questioned]] [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|about this]], Chris just says that he did not scare the child and that he was "tired". Additionally, Chris also said that one of his co-workers was very mean-spirited to him even though she most likely was giving him constructive criticism.
*[[Copyright|His copyright]] - If there is one thing Chris takes pride in, it's his "official" Sonichu copyright. With this, he feels as if he can actually make his multimedia empire with no one to stop him. When he first got the paperwork, he boasted it not even a day after he lost Kacey to Liquid Chris, more or less telling her she got stuck with a loser. He also attempted to set up a bunch of videos trying to sell Sonichu to other companies. In his second "I'm leaving the Internet FOREVER" video, he uses the copyright again to boast that he has won over the trolls.
* [[Car Pranks|His answering machine]] - When a number of trolls attempted to call Chris over a Craigslist listing of his car, one of the calls got to his answering machine. The recorded message says that his lawyers and a doctor of some sort advise him not to take any interviews due to too much information being leaked, then calls the trolls "trollin' stupid."
* [[100 2178|Greene County School Board]] - In one video, Chris proclaims that the Greene County School Board, who sought to help Chris when he was younger, initiated a massive conspiracy against him in order to keep him in his "autistic shell". This also included paying off a Realtor to keep their house from being sold and paying off Michael Snyder to keep him out of the GAMe PLACe.
*In a [[Media:HelpHaitSonichu.jpg|one-page spread]] designed to spread awareness of the victims of the earthquake in Haiti (and likely done only in response to a [[:File:Haitihelp.JPG|similar ad]] featuring Asperchu), Chris drew all the human victims being dwarfed by four and a half foot tall hedgehogs. The human children, sitting beside [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|a bunch of furry runts]], are to scale less than a foot tall. Topping it all off was the inclusion of Simonchu in order to spite [[Evan]]. To Chris, it's more important that his (stolen) recolor abominations have more exposure than the people he's trying to help.
*Similarly, the [[:File:Sonichu Rosechu Save McIntire by Cwcipedia.jpg|poster]] ostensibly designed to be a protest sign features the aforementioned recolors more prominently than the [[McIntire Park|message]] of the sign.
*[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] - Much like his lord and master GodJesus, Chris believes he has the power to forgive those who have sinned against him, essentially the opposite of his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack. Apparently, Chris is so arrogant, he thinks he can use his [[Chris and religion|retard magic]] to cleanse the souls of the [[trolls|wicked mortals]] who dare to play [[Kick the Autistic]] instead of worshipping him, and has done so [[One Blessing, and One Curse|on]] [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour|numerous]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|occasions]].
*[[Exposing Jeff]] - Despite acknowledging that Liquid knows three different tongues (in addition to his native English) and how to play the guitar, Chris still says that he can be "so much better".
*[[DivineTrial]] - [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] is put to trial by Chris ([[Chris and cosplaying|cosplaying]] as Divine), who acts as a prosecutor, judge, jury and a one man firing squad. Apparently [[PandaHalo|Panda]]'s rape wasn't serious enough to be put into the charges against Clyde, though his various acts of trolling against Chris were.
*[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]] - The cover features a picture of Chris with a [[Chris and religion#Delusions of Godhood?|halo]] made mostly out of Pokémon energy symbols floating over his head.
*[[Virgin with rage|Losing his virginity]] - After apparently losing his ever-so-hated virginity, the news of it spread across the troll community with one thing in mind - it could not have happened. When Chris finally admitted it, he talked down to the trolls, vowing never to reveal what had happened.

==In the comic==

{{quote|I did an AWESOME FUCKIN' JOB|Chris}}

While [[Issue 0]] and [[Issue 1]] do focus on Sonichu, [[Chris-Chan]] takes over as the main character throughout [[Issue 2]], [[Sonichu 5|Issue 5]], [[Sonichu 6|Issue 6]] and [[Sonichu 7|Issue 7]], with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] as a supporting character, and in his infrequent appearances he invariably sings Chris's praises. [[Sonichu 8|Issue 8]] and [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] see Sonichu taking back his major role as the main character, but at this stage he's just a Mary Sue for Chris. The main story arc of [[Sonichu 10|Issue 10]] is the resurgence of Chris and his elimination of every enemy he has so far. He also portrays himself as skinny and handsome, although this doesn't happen till said ''Issue 2'', and throughout the comic series sporadically gives his self-insert character superpowers that are never explained. He even makes several episodes that dramatize events he had in real-life, with the extremely self-indulgent fantasies that are described below.

Chris's ego is in full bloom in the comics. The name of the city in which he and his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon strive to protect is known as [[CWCVille]]. The city's currency is C-Quarters and W-Quarters. One of the major drinks in this city is known as [[CWC Cola]]. The radio station is called "[[K-CWC]]"; the hotel is called the "Double CWC"; even his [[Wikipedia:Hyrule|Hyrule]] ripoff is called "[[RuleCWC]]". Basically, everything is named after Chris. The Sonichus and Rosechus he created refer to him as "father". His self-insert is mayor, but never ever performs any mayoral duties whatsoever and his actual role is more like a god-king than any kind of elected official - as Chris says, there [[Honor Roll|"is"]] no elections.

===Instances of Chris's ego in the comics===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|An entire book of Chris hurting people he hates]]
*'''[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]:''' While this is the smallest amount of screen time he's ever had in the comics, he generally steals the scene to himself. Sonichu tries to make a point about how "[[Chris and writing|creative]]" the comics are if that, and generally trying to make it seem like he deserves a girlfriend for drawing this retarded piece of fail.
*'''[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]:''' Again, Chris's existence in the comics is very minor, confined to Sub-Episodes and a sudden appearance, mocking how ridiculous a singing and dancing [[Doctor Robotnik]] is.
*'''[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]:''' His portrayal of [[Wes-Li Sonichu|Wes-Li]] counts, despite not really knowing Chris in [[Chris and Reality|real life]] he still gets portrayed as a villain. He also openly admitted he didn't want Sarah to see anyone else in a text-walling portion of the comic, yet still calls Wes-Li greedy for not wanting to be a part in CWC's retarded conversations. He also draws [[Sarah]] pinning Wes-Li to a tree & breaking up with him, just because she thought Chris being a stalker of her was sweet. He is also drawn whining about how he lost Sarah, and essentially tells Wes to "buck up", even though he's the first one to make a scream when he lost a [[Hanna|one-time date]]. [[Mary Lee Walsh]] also appears as a villain.
*'''[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]:''' This issue has a semi-fictionalized account of an incident Chris had with the managers of McDonald's. He was loitering and soliciting, and, knowing that a 25-year old, [[Obesity|morbidly obese]] [[autistic]] man-child [[Creepy stare|creepily looking]] at patrons can't possibly end well, security threw him out. In his comic book, however, Chris exclaims that the Jerkops are conspiring against him, preventing him from finding [[Sweetheart|true love]]. He turns into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and defeats them with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]], who admits he only helped because Chris was his creator.
*'''[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]:''' It's all about Chris here. Sonichu and Rosechu are nowhere to be seen, except for one cameo each in separate sub-episodes. This issue was all about Chris's semi-fictionalized misadventures at Wal-Mart, Target and McDonald's, and pitted him constantly against the Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh, for they dare to interfere with his [[Love Quest]]. Unlike IRL, Chris can (and does) pwn them in the fantasy world of his comics. This issue also includes the account of Chris's encounter with IRL troll [[Hannah]], who raised his [[heart level]] to 100% just to smash it down to 15%.
[[Image:Sammyandchris.jpg|thumb|Chris as he is vs. Chris as he sees himself.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]:''' This issue has Chris write Sarah Hammer out of the comic so he could focus exclusively on [[Megan Schroeder]], the new object of his desire. While Sarah did marry a man named [[William Spicer]], Chris was not present at her wedding, and had never met Spicer, as he was represented in the comic by a generic [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] character. The next episode has Chris fawning over Megan, and she over him. In reality, Megan saw Chris only as a friend, and was constantly rebuffing his advances. The episode features two different endings because Megan either did not like the original ending or objected to being featured in the comic at all.
*'''[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]:''' The [[Patti Chandler]] Memorial Issue, where his dead dog becomes a member of CWCville. In the only other episode in this issue, Chris has [[Bionic]] ask him to create a sweetheart for him, but Chris, being a lazy fuck, hooks him up with Megan's character [[Megagi La Skunk]]. Chris, being the [[Layla Flaaffy|thieving]] [[Simonla Rosechu|moron]] we all know and love, would later claim Megan's character as his own, and, in true CWC fashion, transformed her into a [[Women's rights|flat, stereotypical "girl" character motivated to only shop, cook and fuck]] [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].
*'''[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]:''' Chris is envious of Bionic's ability to screw Megagi until Megan holds his hand, again implying romance where none exists. This issue contains the stupid time-travel plot where they go back in time to the moment Chris created Bionic, and the scene randomly segues into a [[Family Guy]] style scene he gives Seth McFarlane full permission to use (Coincidentally, or not, the first few minutes of the ''Road to Germany'' episode of Family Guy bears a close resemblance to this "skitch"). After Chris gets trapped in the time void, he mixes both fake memories from the comic with real ones, like Megan "dumping" him and his denial of having drawn [[Shecameforcwc.jpg]] (he blames it on [[ED]], even though he was the one that drew it and uploaded it onto that site), Mary Lee Walsh's invasion of CWCville and her defeat at the hands of the Sonichus and Rosechus, and [[Joshua Martinez]] hooking him up with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. In the other episode, he introduces his Sweetheart-of-the-moment Blanca and her creation [[Jiggliami]], who Chris would later claim as his own, as well as featuring an interview with anti-troll [[Robert Simmons V]] about how awesome Chris is.
[[Image:Momentary Escape.JPG|thumb|Chris rends space time asunder to punch some guy. On the plus side, that does look a little bit like him.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]:''' While free of Chris the character, the comic was not free of Chris's warped psyche. He drew a sex scene between Sonichu and Rosechu for no other reason than to draw porn of his characters for him to [[Mass debating|fap]] to, and gave a detailed account of their reproductive systems. Remember, Sonichu is supposed to be a children's comic, as Chris has stated numerous times. After having his characters have sex for the fifty billionth time, he inserts the hideous [[Rule 34]] he drew into the storyline by having Rosechu come across it while using the internet for no reason other than [[Chris and writing|the plot demands it]]. In a blatant display of Mary Sueism, Chris uses Sonichu to comment on his hideous drawings by saying that they are "so lifelike", and he also has Sonichu gag and barf at the sight of fan drawings from Chris's ED page of Rosechu with a "pickle". Next there are multiple (traced) nude images of Rosechu, which the plot indicates is to prove that she doesn't have a "pickle". Later on, after Sonichu and Rosechu storm [[4-cent garbage.com]], which is a thinly veiled portrayal of ED, she strips again and face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the guy who created Chris's ED page, putting him into a state close to death. Even later, all the Rosechus in the comics decide to strip for "[[Women's rights]]"...well, all except [[Zapina|one underaged one]], who can't strip because of the "[[Pedofork|dumb laws]]". It must be noted that this entire storyline was a result of Chris being trolled hard by the people over at ED, who drew fan art of Rosechu with a dick to make Chris RAGE...and RAGE he did. An epilogue has former sweetheart [[Sarah Jackson]] killed by [[Optimus Prime]]; another former sweetheart, [[Blanca]], returned to Kentucky and her boyfriend, which makes no fucking sense storyline wise. The truth is that she was a troll and Chris failed at writing her out; a two sentence memorial to [[Ryan Cash]] and a dedication to Sweetheart-of-the-moment [[PandaHalo]].
[[Image:Billboard.JPG|thumb|They're better off without him.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]:''' Lacking Sonichu to use as his mouthpiece, Chris invented [[Reginald Sneasel]] to use as his stand-in during the first episode, and Reginald even goes to retarded lengths to break up a romance between [[Punchy]] and [[Layla]] in a similar way that Chris meddled with Wes and Sarah. However, like Chris' IRL attacks, Reginald's plan fails. However, since Chris cannot let any of his characters be single for fear of them being labeled as a [[homo]], [[Angelica Rosechu]] approaches him, and they quickly jump into the sack together, echoing Chris's own belief that the woman must make the first move, out of pity, and put out as soon as possible. This episode also introduces Chris's retarded [[Dating Education]] concept and applies it to his characters. Chris also inserts his Sweetheart-of-the-moment [[Ivy]] into the comics in a plotline that goes nowhere, and has a thinly-veiled version of former sweetheart Sarah Jackson as the Date Ed teacher. Chris then makes a callous reference to Sarah's death by Optimus Prime via a representation of her sister Rita. When Rita informs the class about her sister's death, the assorted characters appear to not give a fuck, nor do they make any attempt to console the poor grieving woman that is now stuck teaching their class. Also in Sonichu 9, Chris depicts PandaHalo dying in a fire. He seems to think this is a fitting tribute. He also shopped a caricature of himself onto a billboard in the background, with a caption begging him to return to the mayor's office. Recent additions have shown the addition of a [[Power Rangers]] team, the CWC-Power Rangers, as well as a gruesome description of Ivy dying by being hanged.
*'''[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]''' With Chris back in the saddle, he proceeds with his master plan to get rid of all of those who troubled him in real life. Even worse, he apparently was able to deceive his future wife into think he was his future self and did the nasty with her. On top of this, he proclaims that he helped create the cure for homosexuality and plans to bring about straightness by stealing all those vaccines, bringing them to the present, and distributing them right there! Chris-Chan Sonichu defeats some "devil trolls", but can't resist imitating Zorro and spelling "CWC" in the air with his epic blows and kicks (this could be a trifecta: unoriginal, egotistic, ''and'' physically implausible). As the comic continues, he attacks the 4-cent_garbage HQ, using the characters [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and [[Beel]] to condemn [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being homo trolls who "slander and tarnish an innocent man's good name", then proceeds to make the latter two jump to their deaths, just as he wishes. Even more, he destroys the building, kills about 200 trolls and proclaims that both ED and 4-cent_garbage's websites were lost forever, despite the fact that most websites nowadays have back ups waiting for just such an emergency. Soon after, Magi-Chan returns from the future, reporting that the gay vaccine has/will be proven to be a worldwide success and that [[1982|February 24th]], 2009 will be proclaimed Christian Love Day in his honor. Yes, really. Then Chris immediately manages to top this when his God complex manifests itself in the form of [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. Both are portrayed as blatantly messianic figures, especially Ultra Sonichu who works like Chris's version of Jesus who saves [[Asperchu]] characters from "[[Liquid Chris|The False God In Brown Strips]]" and Aspergers by granting them the forgiveness of Chris, which can only be received by praying to him. Chris later denied that he tried to set himself up as God, but at the same time he more than insinuated that he is just as awesome. Later in the issue, as he issues an apology over what he had done concerning Asperchu, he puts Alec, Mao, Evan, and Sean on a mock trial for the murder of Simonla Rosechu, pulls evidence out of their asses and gets them sentenced to death, via cruel and unusual forms of execution- two of which Chris himself participates in!
*'''[[Sonichu Special 4]]:''' Chris steals [[Kacey]] from [[Liquid]] for "not treating her right", bursts into the house (note that Kacey doesn't seem to be in any real danger), blows out a disarmed Liquid's kneecaps with a [[Megatron pistol|handgun]], and draws Kacey's military family telling praises about Chris, and generally negative comments towards Liquid. However, Karma would later [[Kacey and Liquid Call|come back to bite him]] after Kacey and Liquid read the strip.

==Christian Love Day==

[[Image:Love-Day.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Magi-Chan]] describes Failmas, and expresses his severe disappointment with a startling lack of accuracy.]]
'''Christian Love Day''' is a proposed holiday mused upon by Chris in the CWC blog entry of 7 January 2010. It made an appearance in [[Sonichu 10]] on the same day. As described in the events of the comics, on 24 February 2009 [[Magi-Chan]] completed his mission of distributing Chris's Gay Vaccine to the world, officially eradicating all homosexuality in a massive genocide. "[[Chris and religion|Thanks to the blood of Christian Weston Chandler]]," all Homosexuality and, in a startling display of overkill, [[Megan Schroeder|Asexuality]] are eradicated. Chris uses this as an excuse for a second Valentine's Day late in the month. Presumably, the day will be celebrated with unabashed, BUT STRAIGHT, monkey sex.

===Significance===

{{quote|Upon reflection, February 24 SHOULD be a Holiday of sorts (even a Second Day for Love in addition to Valentine's Day), because the day, to me at least, just FEELS like a Holiday, in addition to it being my Birthday. I have looked it up before, and it is some sort of forgettable (Holi)day in Mexico or somewhere. February 24 Should have More Significance and Recognition like a Holiday.|[[Chris]], in his [[CWC Blog]] for 7 January, 2010}}

Chris bases the holiday not only on his horrifically misguided and disturbing Gay Holocaust, but grants it full significance for being his birthday. Chris actually believes a milestone date in his amateur webcomic should be celebrated worldwide, because he "feels" like it should, especially since it "feels" like a holiday to him, neglecting that everyone tends to view their own birthday as a holiday. He attempts to mask this fact with ill-researched hear-say. The "forgettable" holiday occurring on the 24th is [[Wikipedia:Flag Day in Mexico|Mexican Flag Day]], celebrated at most with a flag ceremony in elementary schools and maybe a short lecture on the history of the Mexican flag. This is notable for being both a minor, yet momentous holiday, doubly defeating Chris's point. On a historical note, it was the same day the [[Wikipedia:February_24#Events|Nazi Party]] was founded, way back in 1920.

Interesting to note is the celebration of a "man"(child) giving his [[Navy|"blood"]] to "save" the population of the [[CWCville|Earth]] from [[Homosexuality|"damnation"]]. [[Chris and religion|Chris thinks he's Jesus]]. Big surprise.

===The Declaration===
[[File:Christian Love Day Declaration.jpg|thumb|250px|True and Original Declaration of the Christian Love Day. Also, notice how he has buttocks on his front.]]
{{quote|Good morning. In less than an hour, Sonichu fans from here will join others from around the world as you will be witnessing the largest personal change in the history of mankind. Mankind...that word should have new meaning for us all today. We cannot be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it is fate that today is Metsico's flllag day. And we will once again be saluting an image of our freedom. Not just from trolling, loneliness, or persecution, but also from heartbreak. We are fighting for our right to love, to be honest, and when the sun sets today, the twenty-fourth of February will no longer be known as only a Metsican holiday, but as today the Sonichu fans declared what wuv was. We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We are going to live on! We are going to survive, to celebr--today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!|Chris, totally not [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping off]] the movie ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independence_Day_%28film%29 Independence Day]''}}

Chris is so engrossed by the idea, that he went as far as [[Christian Love Day (video)|making a video]] for the occasion, asking his army of [[fans]] to celebrate his hubris. To remove any doubt about the issue, he [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|admitted to Alec Benson Leary]] that he does indeed believe he is important enough to have his birthday celebrated across the country. On the other side, he denies ever writing the declaration, claiming a [[Troll|friend]] did it for him, and says he saw the movie ''Independence Day'' only once.

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Sub-Episodes]]

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]

Examples of Chris's Ego

2017-06-06T06:32:06Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Other */

This is an exhaustive list of documented '''Examples of Chris's Ego''' in the real world and in the Sonichu Comic. It warrants its own page.

==In the real world==

===School===
*[[Manchester High School]] - When Chris graduated from high school, he actually cried because he believed that he deserved a number of artistic awards for his [[Chris and art|artwork]]. By his own admission, he also made a scene and ran out after getting his diploma, eventually having to be consoled by both his [[mother]] and gal-pal [[Tiffany Gowen]].
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] - After being expelled for his [[Chris and anger|appalling behavior]] by the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Student's Dean]], Chris felt the need to write to the Then-Standing President of the United-States, [[George W. Bush]]. The idea that a standing President would be willing to use his clout to reverse a local community college's administrative decision is ludicrous at best.

===Public places===
*[[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] - When asked to cease his solicitation, Chris refused to budge, rambled on in some stupid speech, and actually ''ran''. He would do this again in a [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] soon after, only to be arrested in the process.
*[[The GAMe PLACe]] - Chris acted in this store as if he owned the place. He was rude to the patrons and staff, abused the access to a flat-screen TV, and was an all-around pain for the manager, [[Michael Snyder]]. After many antics, he was banned from the place. Chris filmed a half-assed [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apology]] nine months later, not because he was sorry for his actions, but because the store was the only place that had [[The Eye of Judgment|Eye of Judgment]] cards. Chris has also attempted to incite harassment of employees of the store (using the very fans he had chastised mere weeks earlier), simply because Michael had refused to remove his ban.
*[[McIntire Park]] - During a newscast, Chris happened to pass by a cameraman who was videotaping someone being interviewed. As he did, he flashed his Sonichu [[medallion]] as if to say "Hey, look at me! I'm more important!" Sometime later, he appeared in a town hall meeting over the park itself. He flashed his shitty Sonichu and Rosechu drawing in a bizarre attempt to save it, then tried to interrupt the proceedings with a speech about how he didn't want to pay for a YMCA membership when the recognized speaker made the mistake of referring to him. He was no doubt trying to gain sympathy by noting that it would make an ostensible retard sad to build the YMCA. Chris also requested that the wading pool be deeper, which likely means the wading pool was not meant to be used by a full-grown adult. Chris was promptly and thankfully shot down.
*[[Chris and the Law|Prison]] - During [[28 October 2011|his time in jail]], Chris stated he refused to eat the prison food, since he had [[autism|never done it]] and was not going to start any time soon, and eating the food was beneath him.
*[[GameStop|Gamestop]] - Following the incident on [[26 December 2014]] in which he maced a [[JERKS|male]] [[Manajerks|employee]] after fleeing a Gamestop which he had been banned from previously due to the [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalisation]] of one of their Sonic Boom displays, he had went on to say that he in fact was the victim of the whole situation in a lengthy Facebook post.

===With people===
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] - One of Chris's first crushes. Chris made the small booklet ''[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]'' in an attempt to win her over on her 21st birthday. The booklet was merely a major ego trip, talking more about him and less about her, with the two of them replaced with Sonichu and Rosechu. He later cast her in his Sonichu comic and having her break up with [[Wes Iseli]] before disposing her when she was married away to [[William Spicer]].
*[[Megan Schroeder]] - For the longest time, Chris actually believed that he and Megan were going out as boyfriend and girlfriend. He even attacked someone for getting near Megan. When the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] picture was discovered, Chris actually thought that the reason she was upset was because she wasn't used to sexual things, and not the fact that she realised that Chris saw her as [[Women's rights|nothing more than a]] [[sex toy]]. He then tried to make Megan believe that the bullying from those amongst [[ED]] was MUCH worse than the fact that he did the picture because he was afraid of trying to rape her. He also insisted that he was under much more emotional pain than she was, somehow believing that [[Trolls]] posting pictures of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]] on the Internet was worse than a so-called "friend" sexually harassing and drawing porn of you. Chris would later blame ED for the fact that he lost her friendship, not caring it was his fault in the first place.
*[[Jerkop|Jerkops]] - Thanks to Chris's various run-ins with the law, Chris has a very skewed view of law enforcement. After being tossed out of [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], he deemed that security guards were evil and just trying to play [[Kick the Autistic]] and prevent him from completing his [[Love Quest]]. However, following his arrest on [[28 October 2011]], Chris has now assumed that ''all'' law enforcement is evil and has gone out of his way to make sure they never take him into any sort of custody again.
*[[Vanessa Hudgens]]: [[Joshua Martinez]] used the identity of the ''High School Musical'' star to troll Chris by pretending "Vanessa" wanted to ride his [[duck]]. The fact that Chris actually believed a ''bona fide'' celebrity wanted to give him her [[china]] speaks volumes about his hubris.
*[[10 September 2009]] - Chris, in his ever-growing paranoia, automatically assumes that a possible interview from Veronica Belmont of ''PlayStation Magazine Europe'' is a troll because the person didn't leave a return number, demanding that if she truly wanted to interview him, she should come ''personally'' to his house... then starts trying to suck up to her just in case it wasn't a troll.
*[[Rejected Mailbag]] - Chris hates being proven wrong, especially about Asperger's and autism being part of the same spectrum. He also takes issue with letters that point out the flaws in his comic pages, which is interesting considering [[Chris and hypocrisy|he has no problem telling fans about the flaws he finds in their fan art, calling it "constructive criticism"]]. He's gone from simply ignoring people correcting his mistake to placing these "offending" letters in his rejected mailbag. Even more, when any of the letters mention the similarities between autism and Aspergers, he tosses them into his "Autism Mailbag" and whenever someone tries to mention anything else connected to his past, he automatically goes into a "mental block" and refuses to go any further. On 5 December 2009, Chris wrote a long essay that made little sense, which mainly consisted of him bawwwing that he was a unique and special snowflake, and that Aspies are faking fakers that take away the specialness of his autism. Despite autism and Asperger's existing in the populace long before he was born, and Chris being a [[virgin with rage]], Chris also states that he [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"...Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People".]]
*[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|The Sonichu promotional video]] - In the Part 2 of his video, Chris shows to the camera an elegant drawing of the two main heroes of the comic book made by a fan called Allie. Not only does he proceed to comment "Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her," he presents an actual, sub-par copy of the drawing made by himself as a better version.
*[[Chris and copyright|Copyright claim against Vivian Gee]] - For the most part, Chris ignored the [[Audiobooks]] that were being made out of his comics. However, when he found out that they were being "sold", Chris issued [[Death threats]] against [[Vivian Gee]], threatening to kill her AND [[Clyde Cash|her family]]. He then released his own [[Official Videobooks]], which he believed to be better than Vivian's. These consisted of holding up the TRUE and ORIGINAL pages up to a camera and waving the page around as he stumbled through the dialogue, made childish sound effects, and failed to explain what was actually going on. He excused himself a month later and asked for a quote of 25% out of the donations she received for her hard work. It is worth mentioning that the excuse AND the demand for a share of the profits were in the same e-mail, separated by a single dot.
*[[Jimmy Hill]], [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] - While Chris is more than willing to declare Sonichu as a parody so he can make his multimedia franchise, he blows his stack whenever someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu and himself. He threatened "legal action" during the Jimmy Hill saga and went all out to prove himself the True and Honest Chris when Liquid showed up. During the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], when Liquid threatened to go to the police over the Gun Comic, Chris was certain that the police would be more concerned over the fact that someone was impersonating him than the fact that he threatened to murder him. When Alec Benson Leary's Asperchu began to be more popular than Sonichu, Chris decided to pull a number of things, including a moment of "pot calling the kettle black" in which he decries Asperchu as crappy because it was computer drawn.
*[[Father Call]] - When talking to [[Kacey]]'s father, his ego clashed horribly against Matt's attempts to get through to his head, comparing losing a loved one to Chris losing his [[Patti|dog]], declaring that mowing the lawn (a menial task) was tough work, and utterly missing various cues to people's hardships, such as when Matt told him that his mother pulled weeds while inflicted with arthritis. Chris could only apologize for her having arthritis, not be impressed by the feat.
*[[Evan]] - When Evan created the character "Simonchu" as a joke, Chris took it, turned it into a girl and renamed her "[[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]]". When Evan got tired of Chris using the monstrosity, he demanded that he kill her. Chris has refused many times but in [[Mailbag 43#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 43]] took the cake: he told Evan, in detail, how his Simonchu would try to take back Simonla, how Wild Sonichu would defend and defeat Simonchu and Simonla would return to Evan's "ECGVille" and say that she didn't want to come back, all under Chris's GDC ("Great Director Chandler") powers.
*[[Shigeru Miyamoto]] - Chris was convinced that Miyamoto, who is a world-famous video game designer and creator of beloved and legendary franchises like ''Super Mario Bros'', ''Donkey Kong'', ''The Legend of Zelda'' and ''Star Fox'', would not only be honored to meet him, but in fact even ''more'' honored to meet Chris than Chris would be to meet him. Then, even after having his game proposal rejected by Miyamoto, Chris still remained convinced that Miyamoto was only "holding out on [him]" and would surely accept his offer in the near future.
*[[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] - Chris loves to hold some form of superiority over people he doesn't like, and the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|calls Alec made]] to Chris are great examples. Chris calls Alec's art "crappy" several times, his reasoning being that it is drawn with a tablet, and doesn't have the "character" that his own pencil-and-paper methods apparently convey. He also tells Alec he is "obviously naïve" because he ''doesn't'' believe that cartoon and comic book characters have real feelings and hasn't been deceived countless times by trolls, and implies that he thinks Alec is pathetic in a rather snide tone of voice, while having no real reasons to back this up. Despite Alec actually being genial to him during the first few calls, Chris attempts to insult and demean him anyway, and acts like a child being scorned when Alec inevitably becomes angered by this. In [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|one call]], Chris actually has the balls to tell Alec that there was a price to pay for making him kill off Simonla - Alec, Evan, Sean and Mao's deaths in the comic.
*[[Bob Chandler]] - On 01 [[March 2010]], Chris [[twitter|tweeted]] the sad news that Bob Chandler, Chris's father, was hospitalized with a life-threatening heart condition. Instead of asking for prayers, like many [[Chris and religion|Christians]] do, or putting his comic on hold, he whined about the [[stress]] it caused him and talked about the newest dates for release of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu 11]]. The next day, he released [[02 March 2010|two]] [[Surfshack Tito|videos]]. Neither had any info on or mention of his father or his condition. He didn't even update [[CWCipedia|his website]] or his [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|blog]] with the sad news. Here's the sum of all the love and concern Chris expressed for his Dad: one and a half lines of the 11 tweets he sent that afternoon.<ref>[http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu Chris's Twitter]</ref>
*[[True and Loyal Fanbase|Fans]] - Ever since day one, Chris has treated his fanbase like shit. He insulted one of the few fans he had, and shrugs his shoulders and says "Whatever" whenever a fan tells him they are going to leave, yet then expects them to come to his aid whenever necessary. When Chris lost his latest [[gal-pal]] due to troll interference, not only did he attack the trolls, he also attacked his fans, claiming that they have no life of their own and comparing them to Mary Lee Walsh in trying to stop him from finding a sweetheart. Hilariously, Chris thinks that he has over a billion fans. Let's put this into perspective: the internet has close to ''two billion users''. Chris thinks he has half of them.
*[[The Wallflower]] - The Wallflower was a woman Chris hung out with outside of the Young Adult Social Group. In an article in the CWCipedia, Chris shoves the blame on The Wallflower herself, saying that she should never have had a Facebook page or Fanfiction.net page and that, because she refuses to give ''him'' an apology for this, rather than ''him'' to ''her'' as it should be, she will forever hold the guilt of breaking his heart. In addition, Chris claims that the two of them had "exchanged DNA" at the movies and that she was his girlfriend in his [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"C-Ya Later" video]], when in reality, they were never more than friends. A recent video shows that he ''still'' thinks she was his girlfriend and he still hasn't let go of her.
*[[Trolls]] - One of the things that has enraged even casual Christorians is his smugness towards even his trolls. In Chris's own mind, he has come up with the image that they are actually [[homos]]exual [[niggos|blacks]] who are jealous of his work and are slowly becoming autistic by staying on the computer. Furthermore, he has arrived at the belief that they are only jealous of his material goods. Chris's paranoia has gotten to the point where he openly blames them for driving him out of every place he could go to, as well as for his inability to make friends.
*[[Lars]] - Even though Chris has been known for the longest time to berate [[JERKS|most other males]] for taking all of the [[boyfriend-free girl]]s and leaving none for him, he was more than happy to taunt Lars like a little kid about his breakup with [[Jackie]], acting like he is actually proud of taking her away from him (with liberal use of [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|racist terms]]) and threatening [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|to kill him]] should he say anything about it. [[Chris and hypocrisy|Now there's something to think about]]. However, it should be noted that this [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|isn't the first time]] [[SHE IS MINE NOW|he has done this]].
*[[Love Quest]] - A recurring requirement for potential [[boyfriend-free girl]]s, established most notably on his [[attraction sign]]s and in his [[Sonichu's_News_Dash]], is that they be age 18-[Chris's current age]. In the latter, he goes as far as to specify "18-21 years of age (18-22 as of February 24, 2004 [the date on which Chris turned 22])", demonstrating that although he expects 18-year-old girls to be interested in him regardless of his age, anyone so much as a ''day'' older than Chris doesn't meet his standards. Also, Chris has stated he would not date a girl with autism or any other mental disabilities, yet expects a woman to accept an autistic manchild like himself.
*[[Jackie]] - In the final e-mail exchanges<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 21]], [[Jackie E-mails 22]] and [[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref> between the two, Jackie, quite accurately, pointed out many of Chris's flaws, also taking the time to rationally explain what he was doing wrong and what he could do to fix things. However, Chris took it the wrong way, claiming that she was being mean to him and [[Kick the Autistic|hating]] him by pointing out his flaws, still believing himself to be flawless and special. Ultimately, but perhaps predictably, it was Chris's own ego that led to the resulting collapse of the relationship.
* [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] - The latest of the many trolls to come after Chris, Chris's ego has ramped up incredibly after [[Calling Out|his return to the internet]]. In his first video in eight months, Chris revealed that he had dox on him and was pretty much blackmailing him to do certain things, lest Chris reveal those dox. Chris's demands were for him to apologize to Sony for hacking the Playstation Network (actually done by entirely unrelated people), apologize to The Wallflower for breaking her and Chris up (when it was her finding out about how sick Chris was that ended their ''friendship'', not ''relationship'' - something he never had), to pay him $1000 (probably to pay for the [[PS3]] that ''he destroyed'') and to remove everything he added to the [[CWCki]] (despite the fact that anyone with half a brain could easily reupload it).
* [[Michael Snyder]] - Michael has been a thorn in Chris's side since the day he was kicked out of the [[GAMe PLACe]]. At first, it seemed that Chris's animosity towards Michael was minor, and that he just wanted to go back and start buying stuff again. However, after [[The Wallflower]] incident, Chris had stepped up his attempts to get back in and failed miserably. This has lead Chris to throw "anti-Semitic" "slurs" (e.g., calling him a "[[South Park|Jew]]"), and attempting vehicular assault at least twice. As of now, he sees Michael as some sort of ring leader for cyber-bullying and considers the GAMe PLACe to be the headquarters for it all. Though Snyder was openly lenient on the charges, Chris still called him a "thieving liar" before the judge.
* [[Barbara Chandler]] - Despite [[Tomboys_And_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Mothers|her disapproval]] of his [[Tomgirl]] shenanigans (she even tried bribing him to get him to stop wearing a bra and panties), Chris continued to parade around as a crossdresser, no doubt causing a lot of undue embarrassment to his mother. From what little contact anyone had with Chris since a [[28 October 2011|certain incident]], Chris has shown no visible [[Remorse|remorse]] for getting his aging mother thrown in jail and waist deep in legal troubles since then. While he does mention Barb as being "the only person who cares about him" in a [[Facebook]] note, the note primarily focuses on his grievances with the trolls and how much they've made his life miserable. Again, this comes on the heels of the Chandlers ending up in legal troubles, which was entirely his fault.

===Online===
*[[CWC's Second Message]] - In what would be his opening attack on trying to get the trolls to remove his page following losing Megan, Chris's opening words, amazingly, were:
{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.}}
*[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]] - Another shining example of Chris's ego in video form: Chris expects, and even '''demands''', respect from everybody, even though Chris has never shown anybody else any kind of respect. Plus, considering all of the things he's done: adding people to his comic so that he can beat them up, [[mass debating]] on camera, discriminating against others because of [[niggos|race]], [[JERKS|gender]], and [[homos|sexual orientation]], spending [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]] on [[Kimmi|sex toys]] and [[PS3|video games]], uploading poorly-drawn [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|pictures]] of himself fingering [[Megan]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and then blaming them for her breaking up with him; he has never done anything to warrant the respect of '''anyone'''.
*[[LittleBigPlanet]] - When Chris had shown up on LBP community and posted videos addressed to them, he once again said people "should know him by now". He immediately assumed people would praise him for his levels, especially the "Collector's Case", which he thought was the most original LBP level idea ''ever.''
*[[For G4's Web Soup|Web Soup]] - When Chris learned that one of his videos was featured on an episode, he took it as a good thing, not realizing that the show made fun of people on the Internet.
*[[Sonichu's Edge|Chris]] [[CWCFighter|and]] [[51 50|exercise]] - Many times, Chris has shown his attempts at exercising or performing some sort of strenuous feat. He considered [[Power|lifting up a chair]] to be a great feat of strength, thought that lifting two 12-pack boxes was akin to lifting two 50-pound weights, and even showed his "amazing" Parkay skills.
*[[Chris and Wikipedia|Chris and famous people]] - Chris has compared himself to [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo Buonarotti]] in artistic ability. He has also compared himself in ability or personality to President [[Barack Obama]], [[SingStar Challenge|Frank Sinatra]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Bing Crosby]], [[Red Skelton]], Dick van Dyke, [[I Love Lucy|Ricky Ricardo]], and Jaleel White, who voiced Sonic the Hedgehog in the original three Sonic cartoons. He has also compared himself to many fictional characters such as [[Transformers|Optimus Prime]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]], [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]], and [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]. Since free-riding on someone else's talents is nothing new for Chris, he saw no issue into incorporating known people in [[Chandler Family Tree|his family tree]]. This is how [[Anne Boleyn]], [[Daniel Weston]] and an unknown [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee fellow]] appeared in his ancestry for no logical reason whatsoever. He pushed the audacity to edit many [[Wikipedia]] pages to validate his hubris. All entries have been redacted and his account was blocked.
*[[Chris E-Mails]] - Chris's massive ego manifests itself eagerly through his correspondence with other people. For example, he e-mailed the O'Reilly Factor, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News at least twice, telling them about his Encyclopedia Dramatica page. Not only did he outright expect them to report on it and give it extensive television coverage, but he expected the FBI (which he also believed was apparently part of the crew for the news shows) to go after Jason Kendrick Howell. Other examples include that while he apologized to Megan for drawing [[shecameforcwc.jpg]], he told her that she owed him money, and that he tried to coax [[Anna McLerran]] and Megan into vandalizing his ED page for him. He also believed that people thought their ranking on his [[Scale of Respect]] was of the utmost importance, as illustrated by his correspondence with Mary Lee Walsh.
*[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)|Chris and his ED Page]] - Since Chris is a known narcissistic loon, he never liked mirrors of any kind. When the [[Jason Kendrick Howell|nice folks]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] found him, they couldn't resist the urge to satirize his own existence. Said article turned into a circus whereby [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|he tried to retract, modify, erase]], and even supply the page with [[shecameforcwc.jpg|new]] [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|material]]. In 17 [[December 2009]], he went as far as copying the main article page out of ED and edited out at his convenience.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Chris_chan]</ref>
*[[CWCipedia|Chris and his own webpage]] - When Chris was given his own webpage, he found himself bombarded with gay ads, all paid for by [[Jack Thaddeus]]. After dealing with this for months on end, Chris finally had enough and proclaimed that he wrote to currently-standing President Barack Obama in an attempt to make gay ads illegal, despite the fact that this kind of ad is still protected under free speech and even if he got the letter, there's a slim (read: zero) chance that Obama, who legalized national gay marriage, will actually listen to his whiny, fat, homophobic ass. While addressing the matter, Chris proclaims himself ''the captain of this boat'' and says that without him, CWCipedia would not exist, implying that he does all the hard work on the website, ignoring all of the Sysop's efforts. In fact, CWCipedia was a privilege given to Chris and not at all something that he came up with. Chris has taken this to an absolute extreme, going as far as to suggest that he is the "Captain" of CWCipedia.
*[[Sonichu Forum|Chris and the Sonichu Forum]] - When Chris discovered a troll site filed with people pretending to be Sonichu fans, he used it to its maximum possible extent. The notorious [[Mailbag 50]] was made using hand-picked posts from the forum, selected for their copious amounts of ass-kissing. When one troll suggested that Chris [[Sonichu Forum#Chris doesn't own a mirror|wasn't much of a catch IRL]], Chris responded with anger, demanding to know what could possibly make them think that he was anything less than awesome.
*[[CWCki|Chris and the CWCki]] - On 10 March 2010, Chris ended up discovering the CWCki due to the fiasco that led to his breakup with [[The Wallflower]]. He demanded that all pages concerning him, his family and friends be altered or [[death threats|there would be trouble.]] Noticing the Wallflower's page altered, he took credit for it, not realizing that she had demanded it much earlier and had nothing to do with his earlier rant.
*[[Chris and the Internet|Leaving the Internet]] - No fewer than ''six times'', Chris has boldly claimed that he was "distancing himself from the internet" and that the only way he would be seen would be outside. However Chris has always returned, anywhere from 36 hours to eight months after making this bold claim. In a hypocritical sense, Chris hasn't left the internet - he's left the parts that he doesn't like anymore.
*[[Flipnote Hatena]] - After "distancing himself from the internet", Chris decided to bide his time on Flipnote Hatena, a website that allows him to post animated creations from the Nintendo DSi program Flipnote Studio. So far, Chris has used it to spread his word over how to deal with trolls by butchering a humorous music video, thinking its creator was thinking the same thing he was, and by creating a set of "tags", listing out a bunch of lies. At the end of [[An Ol' Classic Dream]], he demands that his brainwashed, obedient fanbase give him 5 million stars in exchange for an uncensored version of the already raunchy video. ON A G-RATED GAME. When mods took down his flipnotes, Chris would put them back on, disable comments on his page, then re-allow them, and post a flipnote that should have been him apologizing for doing so, but talked more about the trolls and his "Internet Rep" than an actual apology.
*[[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|Trollbusters]] - After returning to the Internet, Chris comes up with the idea for a "Trollbusters" group, having made shirts and cars on [[ModNation Racers]]. All of this was done so he can make the Internet safe for himself and himself alone, despite the fact that this directly flies in the face of the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution|First Amendment]. Searches through Google though, reveal that there have been other Trollbuster attempts in the past by other people and, most likely like this one, were doomed to fail.
* [[Calling Out]] - In Chris's first video since he "left" the internet, he just had to reintroduce himself to others, almost copying word for word the same thing he said when first began his attack on the trolls. As well, he stood to reveal that the Playstation Network hackings weren't the work of a series of hackers, but by Surfshack Tito himself.
* [[Facebook]] - On 1 April 2012, Chris posted a note on his Facebook, talking about how all of his [[trolls]] know nothing about him, that what they've said and done is totally uncalled for, and that the only person who cares about him is [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] and he would rather not meet anyone who might be a troll. This is despite the fact that numerous [[white knight]]s have attempted to tell Chris that he needs to straighten up or he's going to die, and some of the trolling attempts were attempts to get him to do just that. All of these were ignored. Later, on 28 April 2012, Chris placed screenshots on the CWCki forums, and started bragging about 'deceiving the trolls' despite them merely making small talk over his announcement about re-using the Attraction Sign. Even more telling, though, is his claim that he knows where every user lives, that that he'll [[Death threats|find them all]].
* [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing]] - Strapped for cash following the fire that temporarily cost him his home, Chris attempted to sell an original piece of Sonichu work. While initial attempts led to artificially increased prices through troll influence, Chris's later attempts to sell the work had him list the asking price at $1000 USD. Though it's probably due to desperation, the fact that Chris thought that his artwork was worth that much is astounding.
* [[Sonic Boom Protests| Downsized SEGA]] - On Feb 2, 2015, Chris took credit for SEGA's downsizing, stating that him and his 'pale-arm crusaders', with their boycotting, had damaged SEGA enough to force them to close office. This is despite the fact that "normal market forces" had been the supposed cause, literally ''nobody'' is joining Chris on his fight against blue arms, and SEGA is the publisher of all ''Sonic'' games. This gives some nicely- needed recent perspective on the size of his ego.

===Contests===
*[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]] - In an attempt to win a contest involving the animated avian lawyer, Chris went to great lengths to talk about himself, his rivalry with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Sonichu]], but very, ''very'' little about Birdman himself.
*[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] - In his reviews of the top 10 videos, Chris highly praised his entry and claimed it was the best. After losing the contest to [[Adam Stackhouse]], Chris would have a major hissy-fit over the loss, proclaiming even the slightest mistake as cheating, despite the fact that Chris himself had broken numerous rules in the process, including loading the contest with fake votes for him and bribing his [[Cole Smithey|stepbrother]] to vote for him. Even worse, he attempted to fabricate the PlayStation webpage to show that he himself had won and not Adam.
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] - After [[trolls]] caused Chris to win the contest in a misguided attempt to troll the entire gaming community, Chris vowed to spend his winnings (a $400 USD gift card) with his church. Instead, he barely spent half of it towards the church, taking the rest (approximately over $200) for himself to spend on [[McDonald's|fast food]], [[List of Chris' toys|toys]], [[Video games]] and [[Sex toys|god knows what else]].

===Other===
*[[Mumble 3]] - While talking to Clyde, Chris tells him that the reason why he doesn't have a job is because he has so many awesome skills, he just can't choose one, and not because he's lazy and shown himself to be [[Chris and writing|poor]] [[Chris and art|in]] [[Chris's resume|multiple]] [[CADD|skills]].
*[[Mumble 4]] - When Clyde asks Chris what kind of job he thinks he's qualified for, Chris says, "If anything, I'm overqualified...[for] every type of job available!"
*[[Chris and money]] - Chris refuses to get a job, completely under the extremely delusional belief that he can get more from his [[Monthly tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance payment]] than getting an actual job. Whenever the Chandlers are in financial troubles, Chris whines and complains, even though he has spent thousands on [[Lego]] and other frivolities. His refusal to get a job is best underscored in the [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris_explains_why_he_won't_get_a_job|April 2017 Facebook posts]], where his reasoning for why he refuses to get a job is because the trolls and bullies ruined his background check, even though [[Chris and the law|everything that caused him to get in trouble with the law]] was of his own doing and with no prodding from the trolls.
*[[Chris and health]] - Chris hates to be called fat. Deep in his mind, he honestly thinks he's the same somewhat skinny child he once was, despite the fact that he has a gut, is forced to wear a [[Muscle bra|bra]] to keep his colossal moobs in check and his hairline's retreating at an alarming rate. While he refuses to accept his baldness, he actually is claiming to be working on his gut. Beyond that, he refuses ''professional'' psychological help and honestly believes stuff such as autism and homosexuality are easily caught diseases.
*[[Chris and English]] - The whole purpose of language is to communicate thoughts and ideas to other people, but Chris has managed to turn his vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him, forcing people who want to communicate with him to understand his unusual vocabulary as opposed to Chris having to understand regular speech.
*[[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] - In the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him, and considered him getting banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], finding out that [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] were posting info about him on [[Encylopedia Dramatica|ED]], and having his personal websites and accounts hacked to be far worse than losing two of his sweethearts [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]].
*[[Homos]]exuality - Given his passion for STAYING STRAIGHT, in [[Kacey Call 22]], Chris actually seems bemused by the idea that gay men don't find him attractive enough to "lure off the straight path."
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|His Church]] - In a recent [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|call to arms against Asperchu]], Chris reveals that he believes he can use his current congregation as a personal army.
*[[Wendy's]] - During his brief stint working there, Chris was shown to have been a particularly stubborn employee to work with, ultimately getting fired for scaring a kid with his [[Donald Duck impersonation]] to the point that he cried. [[Mumble #7|When questioned]] [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|about this]], Chris just says that he did not scare the child and that he was "tired". Additionally, Chris also said that one of his co-workers was very mean-spirited to him even though she most likely was giving him constructive criticism.
*[[Copyright|His copyright]] - If there is one thing Chris takes pride in, it's his "official" Sonichu copyright. With this, he feels as if he can actually make his multimedia empire with no one to stop him. When he first got the paperwork, he boasted it not even a day after he lost Kacey to Liquid Chris, more or less telling her she got stuck with a loser. He also attempted to set up a bunch of videos trying to sell Sonichu to other companies. In his second "I'm leaving the Internet FOREVER" video, he uses the copyright again to boast that he has won over the trolls.
* [[Car Pranks|His answering machine]] - When a number of trolls attempted to call Chris over a Craigslist listing of his car, one of the calls got to his answering machine. The recorded message says that his lawyers and a doctor of some sort advise him not to take any interviews due to too much information being leaked, then calls the trolls "trollin' stupid."
* [[100 2178|Greene County School Board]] - In one video, Chris proclaims that the Greene County School Board, who sought to help Chris when he was younger, initiated a massive conspiracy against him in order to keep him in his "autistic shell". This also included paying off a Realtor to keep their house from being sold and paying off Michael Snyder to keep him out of the GAMe PLACe.
*In a [[Media:HelpHaitSonichu.jpg|one-page spread]] designed to spread awareness of the victims of the earthquake in Haiti (and likely done only in response to a [[:File:Haitihelp.JPG|similar ad]] featuring Asperchu), Chris drew all the human victims being dwarfed by four and a half foot tall hedgehogs. The human children, sitting beside [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|a bunch of furry runts]], are to scale less than a foot tall. Topping it all off was the inclusion of Simonchu in order to spite [[Evan]]. To Chris, it's more important that his (stolen) recolor abominations have more exposure than the people he's trying to help.
*Similarly, the [[:File:Sonichu Rosechu Save McIntire by Cwcipedia.jpg|poster]] ostensibly designed to be a protest sign features the aforementioned recolors more prominently than the [[McIntire Park|message]] of the sign.
*[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] - Much like his lord and master GodJesus, Chris believes he has the power to forgive those who have sinned against him, essentially the opposite of his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack. Apparently, Chris is so arrogant, he thinks he can use his [[Chris and religion|retard magic]] to cleanse the souls of the [[trolls|wicked mortals]] who dare to play [[Kick the Autistic]] instead of worshipping him, and has done so [[One Blessing, and One Curse|on]] [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour|numerous]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|occasions]].
*[[Exposing Jeff]] - Despite acknowledging that Liquid knows three different tongues (in addition to his native English) and how to play the guitar, Chris still says that he can be "so much better".
*[[DivineTrial]] - [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] is put to trial by Chris ([[Chris and cosplaying|cosplaying]] as Divine), who acts as a prosecutor, judge, jury and a one man firing squad. Apparently [[PandaHalo|Panda]]'s rape wasn't serious enough to be put into the charges against Clyde, though his various acts of trolling against Chris were.
*[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]] - The cover features a picture of Chris with a [[Chris and religion#Delusions of Godhood?|halo]] made mostly out of Pokémon energy symbols floating over his head.
*[[Virgin with rage|Losing his virginity]] - After apparently losing his ever-so-hated virginity, the news of it spread across the troll community with one thing in mind - it could not have happened. When Chris finally admitted it, he talked down to the trolls, vowing never to reveal what had happened.

==In the comic==

{{quote|I did an AWESOME FUCKIN' JOB|Chris}}

While [[Issue 0]] and [[Issue 1]] do focus on Sonichu, [[Chris-Chan]] takes over as the main character throughout [[Issue 2]], [[Sonichu 5|Issue 5]], [[Sonichu 6|Issue 6]] and [[Sonichu 7|Issue 7]], with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] as a supporting character, and in his infrequent appearances he invariably sings Chris's praises. [[Sonichu 8|Issue 8]] and [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] see Sonichu taking back his major role as the main character, but at this stage he's just a Mary Sue for Chris. The main story arc of [[Sonichu 10|Issue 10]] is the resurgence of Chris and his elimination of every enemy he has so far. He also portrays himself as skinny and handsome, although this doesn't happen till said ''Issue 2'', and throughout the comic series sporadically gives his self-insert character superpowers that are never explained. He even makes several episodes that dramatize events he had in real-life, with the extremely self-indulgent fantasies that are described below.

Chris's ego is in full bloom in the comics. The name of the city in which he and his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon strive to protect is known as [[CWCVille]]. The city's currency is C-Quarters and W-Quarters. One of the major drinks in this city is known as [[CWC Cola]]. The radio station is called "[[K-CWC]]"; the hotel is called the "Double CWC"; even his [[Wikipedia:Hyrule|Hyrule]] ripoff is called "[[RuleCWC]]". Basically, everything is named after Chris. The Sonichus and Rosechus he created refer to him as "father". His self-insert is mayor, but never ever performs any mayoral duties whatsoever and his actual role is more like a god-king than any kind of elected official - as Chris says, there [[Honor Roll|"is"]] no elections.

===Instances of Chris's ego in the comics===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|An entire book of Chris hurting people he hates]]
*'''[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]:''' While this is the smallest amount of screen time he's ever had in the comics, he generally steals the scene to himself. Sonichu tries to make a point about how "[[Chris and writing|creative]]" the comics are if that, and generally trying to make it seem like he deserves a girlfriend for drawing this retarded piece of fail.
*'''[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]:''' Again, Chris's existence in the comics is very minor, confined to Sub-Episodes and a sudden appearance, mocking how ridiculous a singing and dancing [[Doctor Robotnik]] is.
*'''[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]:''' His portrayal of [[Wes-Li Sonichu|Wes-Li]] counts, despite not really knowing Chris in [[Chris and Reality|real life]] he still gets portrayed as a villain. He also openly admitted he didn't want Sarah to see anyone else in a text-walling portion of the comic, yet still calls Wes-Li greedy for not wanting to be a part in CWC's retarded conversations. He also draws [[Sarah]] pinning Wes-Li to a tree & breaking up with him, just because she thought Chris being a stalker of her was sweet. He is also drawn whining about how he lost Sarah, and essentially tells Wes to "buck up", even though he's the first one to make a scream when he lost a [[Hanna|one-time date]]. [[Mary Lee Walsh]] also appears as a villain.
*'''[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]:''' This issue has a semi-fictionalized account of an incident Chris had with the managers of McDonald's. He was loitering and soliciting, and, knowing that a 25-year old, [[Obesity|morbidly obese]] [[autistic]] man-child [[Creepy stare|creepily looking]] at patrons can't possibly end well, security threw him out. In his comic book, however, Chris exclaims that the Jerkops are conspiring against him, preventing him from finding [[Sweetheart|true love]]. He turns into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and defeats them with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]], who admits he only helped because Chris was his creator.
*'''[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]:''' It's all about Chris here. Sonichu and Rosechu are nowhere to be seen, except for one cameo each in separate sub-episodes. This issue was all about Chris's semi-fictionalized misadventures at Wal-Mart, Target and McDonald's, and pitted him constantly against the Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh, for they dare to interfere with his [[Love Quest]]. Unlike IRL, Chris can (and does) pwn them in the fantasy world of his comics. This issue also includes the account of Chris's encounter with IRL troll [[Hannah]], who raised his [[heart level]] to 100% just to smash it down to 15%.
[[Image:Sammyandchris.jpg|thumb|Chris as he is vs. Chris as he sees himself.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]:''' This issue has Chris write Sarah Hammer out of the comic so he could focus exclusively on [[Megan Schroeder]], the new object of his desire. While Sarah did marry a man named [[William Spicer]], Chris was not present at her wedding, and had never met Spicer, as he was represented in the comic by a generic [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] character. The next episode has Chris fawning over Megan, and she over him. In reality, Megan saw Chris only as a friend, and was constantly rebuffing his advances. The episode features two different endings because Megan either did not like the original ending or objected to being featured in the comic at all.
*'''[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]:''' The [[Patti Chandler]] Memorial Issue, where his dead dog becomes a member of CWCville. In the only other episode in this issue, Chris has [[Bionic]] ask him to create a sweetheart for him, but Chris, being a lazy fuck, hooks him up with Megan's character [[Megagi La Skunk]]. Chris, being the [[Layla Flaaffy|thieving]] [[Simonla Rosechu|moron]] we all know and love, would later claim Megan's character as his own, and, in true CWC fashion, transformed her into a [[Women's rights|flat, stereotypical "girl" character motivated to only shop, cook and fuck]] [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].
*'''[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]:''' Chris is envious of Bionic's ability to screw Megagi until Megan holds his hand, again implying romance where none exists. This issue contains the stupid time-travel plot where they go back in time to the moment Chris created Bionic, and the scene randomly segues into a [[Family Guy]] style scene he gives Seth McFarlane full permission to use (Coincidentally, or not, the first few minutes of the ''Road to Germany'' episode of Family Guy bears a close resemblance to this "skitch"). After Chris gets trapped in the time void, he mixes both fake memories from the comic with real ones, like Megan "dumping" him and his denial of having drawn [[Shecameforcwc.jpg]] (he blames it on [[ED]], even though he was the one that drew it and uploaded it onto that site), Mary Lee Walsh's invasion of CWCville and her defeat at the hands of the Sonichus and Rosechus, and [[Joshua Martinez]] hooking him up with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. In the other episode, he introduces his Sweetheart-of-the-moment Blanca and her creation [[Jiggliami]], who Chris would later claim as his own, as well as featuring an interview with anti-troll [[Robert Simmons V]] about how awesome Chris is.
[[Image:Momentary Escape.JPG|thumb|Chris rends space time asunder to punch some guy. On the plus side, that does look a little bit like him.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]:''' While free of Chris the character, the comic was not free of Chris's warped psyche. He drew a sex scene between Sonichu and Rosechu for no other reason than to draw porn of his characters for him to [[Mass debating|fap]] to, and gave a detailed account of their reproductive systems. Remember, Sonichu is supposed to be a children's comic, as Chris has stated numerous times. After having his characters have sex for the fifty billionth time, he inserts the hideous [[Rule 34]] he drew into the storyline by having Rosechu come across it while using the internet for no reason other than [[Chris and writing|the plot demands it]]. In a blatant display of Mary Sueism, Chris uses Sonichu to comment on his hideous drawings by saying that they are "so lifelike", and he also has Sonichu gag and barf at the sight of fan drawings from Chris's ED page of Rosechu with a "pickle". Next there are multiple (traced) nude images of Rosechu, which the plot indicates is to prove that she doesn't have a "pickle". Later on, after Sonichu and Rosechu storm [[4-cent garbage.com]], which is a thinly veiled portrayal of ED, she strips again and face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the guy who created Chris's ED page, putting him into a state close to death. Even later, all the Rosechus in the comics decide to strip for "[[Women's rights]]"...well, all except [[Zapina|one underaged one]], who can't strip because of the "[[Pedofork|dumb laws]]". It must be noted that this entire storyline was a result of Chris being trolled hard by the people over at ED, who drew fan art of Rosechu with a dick to make Chris RAGE...and RAGE he did. An epilogue has former sweetheart [[Sarah Jackson]] killed by [[Optimus Prime]]; another former sweetheart, [[Blanca]], returned to Kentucky and her boyfriend, which makes no fucking sense storyline wise. The truth is that she was a troll and Chris failed at writing her out; a two sentence memorial to [[Ryan Cash]] and a dedication to Sweetheart-of-the-moment [[PandaHalo]].
[[Image:Billboard.JPG|thumb|They're better off without him.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]:''' Lacking Sonichu to use as his mouthpiece, Chris invented [[Reginald Sneasel]] to use as his stand-in during the first episode, and Reginald even goes to retarded lengths to break up a romance between [[Punchy]] and [[Layla]] in a similar way that Chris meddled with Wes and Sarah. However, like Chris' IRL attacks, Reginald's plan fails. However, since Chris cannot let any of his characters be single for fear of them being labeled as a [[homo]], [[Angelica Rosechu]] approaches him, and they quickly jump into the sack together, echoing Chris's own belief that the woman must make the first move, out of pity, and put out as soon as possible. This episode also introduces Chris's retarded [[Dating Education]] concept and applies it to his characters. Chris also inserts his Sweetheart-of-the-moment [[Ivy]] into the comics in a plotline that goes nowhere, and has a thinly-veiled version of former sweetheart Sarah Jackson as the Date Ed teacher. Chris then makes a callous reference to Sarah's death by Optimus Prime via a representation of her sister Rita. When Rita informs the class about her sister's death, the assorted characters appear to not give a fuck, nor do they make any attempt to console the poor grieving woman that is now stuck teaching their class. Also in Sonichu 9, Chris depicts PandaHalo dying in a fire. He seems to think this is a fitting tribute. He also shopped a caricature of himself onto a billboard in the background, with a caption begging him to return to the mayor's office. Recent additions have shown the addition of a [[Power Rangers]] team, the CWC-Power Rangers, as well as a gruesome description of Ivy dying by being hanged.
*'''[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]''' With Chris back in the saddle, he proceeds with his master plan to get rid of all of those who troubled him in real life. Even worse, he apparently was able to deceive his future wife into think he was his future self and did the nasty with her. On top of this, he proclaims that he helped create the cure for homosexuality and plans to bring about straightness by stealing all those vaccines, bringing them to the present, and distributing them right there! Chris-Chan Sonichu defeats some "devil trolls", but can't resist imitating Zorro and spelling "CWC" in the air with his epic blows and kicks (this could be a trifecta: unoriginal, egotistic, ''and'' physically implausible). As the comic continues, he attacks the 4-cent_garbage HQ, using the characters [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and [[Beel]] to condemn [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being homo trolls who "slander and tarnish an innocent man's good name", then proceeds to make the latter two jump to their deaths, just as he wishes. Even more, he destroys the building, kills about 200 trolls and proclaims that both ED and 4-cent_garbage's websites were lost forever, despite the fact that most websites nowadays have back ups waiting for just such an emergency. Soon after, Magi-Chan returns from the future, reporting that the gay vaccine has/will be proven to be a worldwide success and that [[1982|February 24th]], 2009 will be proclaimed Christian Love Day in his honor. Yes, really. Then Chris immediately manages to top this when his God complex manifests itself in the form of [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. Both are portrayed as blatantly messianic figures, especially Ultra Sonichu who works like Chris's version of Jesus who saves [[Asperchu]] characters from "[[Liquid Chris|The False God In Brown Strips]]" and Aspergers by granting them the forgiveness of Chris, which can only be received by praying to him. Chris later denied that he tried to set himself up as God, but at the same time he more than insinuated that he is just as awesome. Later in the issue, as he issues an apology over what he had done concerning Asperchu, he puts Alec, Mao, Evan, and Sean on a mock trial for the murder of Simonla Rosechu, pulls evidence out of their asses and gets them sentenced to death, via cruel and unusual forms of execution- two of which Chris himself participates in!
*'''[[Sonichu Special 4]]:''' Chris steals [[Kacey]] from [[Liquid]] for "not treating her right", bursts into the house (note that Kacey doesn't seem to be in any real danger), blows out a disarmed Liquid's kneecaps with a [[Megatron pistol|handgun]], and draws Kacey's military family telling praises about Chris, and generally negative comments towards Liquid. However, Karma would later [[Kacey and Liquid Call|come back to bite him]] after Kacey and Liquid read the strip.

==Christian Love Day==

[[Image:Love-Day.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Magi-Chan]] describes Failmas, and expresses his severe disappointment with a startling lack of accuracy.]]
'''Christian Love Day''' is a proposed holiday mused upon by Chris in the CWC blog entry of 7 January 2010. It made an appearance in [[Sonichu 10]] on the same day. As described in the events of the comics, on 24 February 2009 [[Magi-Chan]] completed his mission of distributing Chris's Gay Vaccine to the world, officially eradicating all homosexuality in a massive genocide. "[[Chris and religion|Thanks to the blood of Christian Weston Chandler]]," all Homosexuality and, in a startling display of overkill, [[Megan Schroeder|Asexuality]] are eradicated. Chris uses this as an excuse for a second Valentine's Day late in the month. Presumably, the day will be celebrated with unabashed, BUT STRAIGHT, monkey sex.

===Significance===

{{quote|Upon reflection, February 24 SHOULD be a Holiday of sorts (even a Second Day for Love in addition to Valentine's Day), because the day, to me at least, just FEELS like a Holiday, in addition to it being my Birthday. I have looked it up before, and it is some sort of forgettable (Holi)day in Mexico or somewhere. February 24 Should have More Significance and Recognition like a Holiday.|[[Chris]], in his [[CWC Blog]] for 7 January, 2010}}

Chris bases the holiday not only on his horrifically misguided and disturbing Gay Holocaust, but grants it full significance for being his birthday. Chris actually believes a milestone date in his amateur webcomic should be celebrated worldwide, because he "feels" like it should, especially since it "feels" like a holiday to him, neglecting that everyone tends to view their own birthday as a holiday. He attempts to mask this fact with ill-researched hear-say. The "forgettable" holiday occurring on the 24th is [[Wikipedia:Flag Day in Mexico|Mexican Flag Day]], celebrated at most with a flag ceremony in elementary schools and maybe a short lecture on the history of the Mexican flag. This is notable for being both a minor, yet momentous holiday, doubly defeating Chris's point. On a historical note, it was the same day the [[Wikipedia:February_24#Events|Nazi Party]] was founded, way back in 1920.

Interesting to note is the celebration of a "man"(child) giving his [[Navy|"blood"]] to "save" the population of the [[CWCville|Earth]] from [[Homosexuality|"damnation"]]. [[Chris and religion|Chris thinks he's Jesus]]. Big surprise.

===The Declaration===
[[File:Christian Love Day Declaration.jpg|thumb|250px|True and Original Declaration of the Christian Love Day. Also, notice how he has buttocks on his front.]]
{{quote|Good morning. In less than an hour, Sonichu fans from here will join others from around the world as you will be witnessing the largest personal change in the history of mankind. Mankind...that word should have new meaning for us all today. We cannot be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it is fate that today is Metsico's flllag day. And we will once again be saluting an image of our freedom. Not just from trolling, loneliness, or persecution, but also from heartbreak. We are fighting for our right to love, to be honest, and when the sun sets today, the twenty-fourth of February will no longer be known as only a Metsican holiday, but as today the Sonichu fans declared what wuv was. We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We are going to live on! We are going to survive, to celebr--today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!|Chris, totally not [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping off]] the movie ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independence_Day_%28film%29 Independence Day]''}}

Chris is so engrossed by the idea, that he went as far as [[Christian Love Day (video)|making a video]] for the occasion, asking his army of [[fans]] to celebrate his hubris. To remove any doubt about the issue, he [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|admitted to Alec Benson Leary]] that he does indeed believe he is important enough to have his birthday celebrated across the country. On the other side, he denies ever writing the declaration, claiming a [[Troll|friend]] did it for him, and says he saw the movie ''Independence Day'' only once.

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Sub-Episodes]]

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]

Chris and his ego

2017-06-04T00:19:04Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Antisocial personality disorder */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}
{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (King James Version)]]}}

[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]

'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris]]'s flaws. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved wife, children and home).]]

==Origins==
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris and reality#In the Real World|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. But Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him]].

===The enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}

Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a 30-year-old man with autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-minds|high functioning]]" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems, from emotional disorders to mental retardation, live far more independently than Chris does.

For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and money}}
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a "[[monthly tugboat]]" as he calls it. Although intended to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[vidya]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for admiration]], and [[Chris and remorse|lack of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Chris and art|exaggerates]] [[CADD|achievements]] and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]]).

2. Is preoccupied with [[Dreams|fantasies]] of unlimited success, power, brilliance, [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|ideal love]].

3. Believes that he or she is "special" and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]]. (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] favorable treatment or [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|automatic compliance with his or her expectations]].

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]].

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan Schroeder|feelings and needs]] [[The Wallflower|of others]].

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her.

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]].}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Antisocial personality disorder==
It's also entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Antisocial personality disorder|antisocial personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM V, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines antisocial personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

The essential features of a personality disorder are impairments in personality (self and interpersonal) functioning and the presence of pathological personality traits. To diagnose antisocial personality disorder, the following criteria must be met:

A. Significant impairments in personality functioning manifest by:
1. Impairments in self functioning (a or b):
a. Identity: Ego-centrism; self-esteem derived from personal gain, [[power]], or [[China|pleasure]].
b. Self-direction: Goal-setting based on [[Love Quest|personal gratification]]; absence of prosocial internal standards associated with [[Chris and the law|failure to conform to lawful]] or culturally normative ethical behavior.

AND

2. Impairments in interpersonal functioning (a or b):
a. [[Chris and death|Empathy]]: Lack of concern for feelings, needs, or [[Ryan Cash|suffering of others]]; lack of [[remorse]] after [[Gal-pals|hurting or mistreating another]].
b. Intimacy: Incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, as exploitation is a primary means of relating to others, including by deceit and coercion; use of dominance or intimidation to control others.

B. Pathological personality traits in the following domains:
1. Antagonism, characterized by:
a. Manipulativeness: Frequent use of subterfuge to influence or control others; use of seduction, charm, glibness, or ingratiation to achieve [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|one's ends]].
b. [[List of Chris's lies|Deceitfulness]]: Dishonesty and fraudulence; [[Alec Benson Leary calls|misrepresentation of self]]; embellishment or [[Chris and reality|fabrication when relating events]].
c. [[Chris and remorse|Callousness]]: Lack of concern for feelings or problems of others; lack of guilt or remorse about the [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|negative]] [[Twin Falling Towers|or harmful effects]] of one's [[Megan Schroeder|actions]] [[Kacey|on]] [[The Wallflower|others]]; [[Chris and anger|aggression]]; sadism.
d. Hostility: [[Michael Snyder|Persistent or frequent angry feelings]]; anger or irritability in response to [[Kick the Autistic|minor slights and insults]]; mean, nasty, or [[Death threats|vengeful behavior]].

2. Disinhibition, characterized by:
a. [[Father Call|Irresponsibility]]: Disregard for – and failure to honor – [[Chris and money|financial]] and [[Chores|other obligations or commitments]]; lack of respect for – and [[Jackie e-mails|lack of follow through]] on – [[Kacey calls|agreements and promises]].
b. Impulsivity: [[Mary Lee Walsh|Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli]]; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; [[Stress|difficulty establishing and following plans]].
c. Risk taking: Engagement in [[Un-clit 2.0|dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities]], unnecessarily and without regard for consequences; boredom proneness and thoughtless initiation of activities to counter boredom; lack of concern for one's limitations and denial of the reality of [[14 Branchland Court|personal]] [[Chris and health|danger]].

C. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are relatively stable across time and consistent across situations.

D. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not better understood as normative for the individual‟s developmental stage or sociocultural environment.

E. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not solely due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma).

F. The individual is at least age 18 years.}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris.

==Manifestations==
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.

But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.

===Fixation on self-image===
Chris has created many avatars of himself through several mediums.

<center><gallery>
File:Comic CWC.PNG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].
File:Chris Lego.jpg|As a Lego figure.
File:ThreePieceSetA.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christian.
File:ThreePieceSetC.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christine.
File:AmiiboSet.jpg|As [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]]. From left to right, Christian, Chris Chan Sonichu, Christine. Chris sold these through [[Etsy]].
File:Lego Christines.png|Another Lego figure of his 2015 [[Tomgirl]] self.
File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|[[Christine Doll]], pictured on left.
File:Chris skylanders avatar.jpg|Skylanders avatar.
File:Skylanders swag.png|A shirt, card and 3D figure of his Skylanders avatar, costing him $90 from the company.
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg|As a Transformer.
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg ‎|As a [[MLP]] character.
</gallery></center>

===Persecution complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, walking through the shadow of the valley of death.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] to becoming the social outcast that we all know and...tolerate), thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===
{{Main|Naïve}}

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising china or threatening his identity. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a -mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would tell if we end up seeing Chris [[Cosplay|cosplaying]] or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. It's pretty obvious that Chris had only done this because he believed that he would score with Jackie sooner or later.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}

Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.

===Materialism===
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that,to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats homos, seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===
{{Main|Chris and the Internet}}
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's post contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards in amplexus, thumbnails of tribadism, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a china-shaped lemon--his description for the picture ''bragged'' about how [[JERKS]] would be offended by it.

===Paranoia===
One of the worst things that comes out of Chris's ego is his bloated sense of paranoia. As mentioned above, Chris has taken to withholding certain information from trolls like an animal being shocked by a shock collar. However, this line of thinking has pushed Chris into believing that the entire world is out to get him. In early days, it was actually simple - Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh were conspiring to stop him from succeeding in his Love Quest. However, after the incident with [[The Wallflower]] and the realization that there's entire webpages devoted to him, it's caused him to see things in a bigger, yet disturbing picture.

As such, Chris has decided to become a recluse, refusing to make friends with anyone unless he knew him in the real world. However, this is a double-edged sword as Chris refuses to interact with anyone in the real world as well. In the real world, if someone spotted Chris and knew him by name, even if they had heard of him from whatever remaining place is left for him to go to, he panics and runs, fearing that the person is actually a troll seeking to spread more information about him across the Internet. As well, if someone wanted to contact Chris through other means, even if that person had no idea who Chris was or what Sonichu was or anything that the trolls had done, Chris will shut them out because he doesn't know who they are and thus, has relegated them to the title of "troll".

A perfect example of this was revealed in a series of Facebook screenshots. While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted him, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.]]

===Surrendering Information===
If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. The ongoing [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Soiled Underpants Saga]] is the shining example of this.

Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris' experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.

In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post in particular revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''

The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brushfire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.

===Fishing for sympathy===
In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the Father Call, where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter (note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.) In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his Facebook entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler, and his friend, Anna McLerran is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his [[autism|being autistic]], has poisoned Chris' mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the white knights. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{Clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and his ego

2017-06-04T00:16:21Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Antisocial personality disorder */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}
{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (King James Version)]]}}

[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]

'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris]]'s flaws. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved wife, children and home).]]

==Origins==
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris and reality#In the Real World|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. But Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him]].

===The enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}

Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a 30-year-old man with autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-minds|high functioning]]" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems, from emotional disorders to mental retardation, live far more independently than Chris does.

For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and money}}
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a "[[monthly tugboat]]" as he calls it. Although intended to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[vidya]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for admiration]], and [[Chris and remorse|lack of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Chris and art|exaggerates]] [[CADD|achievements]] and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]]).

2. Is preoccupied with [[Dreams|fantasies]] of unlimited success, power, brilliance, [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|ideal love]].

3. Believes that he or she is "special" and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]]. (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] favorable treatment or [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|automatic compliance with his or her expectations]].

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]].

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan Schroeder|feelings and needs]] [[The Wallflower|of others]].

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her.

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]].}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Antisocial personality disorder==
It's also entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Antisocial personality disorder|antisocial personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM V, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines antisocial personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

The essential features of a personality disorder are impairments in personality (self and interpersonal) functioning and the presence of pathological personality traits. To diagnose antisocial personality disorder, the following criteria must be met:

A. Significant impairments in personality functioning manifest by:
1. Impairments in self functioning (a or b):
a. Identity: Ego-centrism; self-esteem derived from personal gain, [[power]], or [[China|pleasure]].
b. Self-direction: Goal-setting based on [[Love Quest|personal gratification]]; absence of prosocial internal standards associated with [[Chris and the law|failure to conform to lawful]] or culturally normative ethical behavior.

AND

2. Impairments in interpersonal functioning (a or b):
a. [[Chris and death|Empathy]]: Lack of concern for feelings, needs, or [[Ryan Cash|suffering of others]]; lack of [[remorse]] after [[Gal-pals|hurting or mistreating another]].
b. Intimacy: Incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, as exploitation is a primary means of relating to others, including by deceit and coercion; use of dominance or intimidation to control others.

B. Pathological personality traits in the following domains:
1. Antagonism, characterized by:
a. Manipulativeness: Frequent use of subterfuge to influence or control others; use of seduction, charm, glibness, or ingratiation to achieve [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|one's ends]].
b. [[List of Chris's lies|Deceitfulness]]: Dishonesty and fraudulence; [[Alec Benson Leary calls|misrepresentation of self]]; embellishment or [[Chris and reality|fabrication when relating events]].
c. [[Chris and remorse|Callousness]]: Lack of concern for feelings or problems of others; lack of guilt or remorse about the [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|negative]] [[Twin Falling Towers|or harmful effects]] of one's [[Megan Schroeder|actions]] [[Kacey|on]] [[The Wallflower|others]]; [[Chris and anger|aggression]]; sadism.
d. Hostility: [[Michael Snyder|Persistent or frequent angry feelings]]; anger or irritability in response to [[Kick the Autistic|minor slights and insults]]; mean, nasty, or [[Death threats|vengeful behavior]].

2. Disinhibition, characterized by:
a. [[Father Call|Irresponsibility]]: Disregard for – and failure to honor – [[Chris and money|financial]] and [[Chores|other obligations or commitments]]; lack of respect for – and [[Jackie e-mails|lack of follow through]] on – [[Kacey calls|agreements and promises]].
b. Impulsivity: [[Mary Lee Walsh|Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli]]; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; [[Stress|difficulty establishing and following plans]].
c.Risk taking: Engagement in [[Un-clit 2.0|dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities]], unnecessarily and without regard for consequences; boredom proneness and thoughtless initiation of activities to counter boredom; lack of concern for one's limitations and denial of the reality of [[14 Branchland Court|personal]] [[Chris and health|danger]].

C. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are relatively stable across time and consistent across situations.

D. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not better understood as normative for the individual‟s developmental stage or sociocultural environment.

E. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not solely due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma).

F. The individual is at least age 18 years.}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris.

==Manifestations==
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.

But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.

===Fixation on self-image===
Chris has created many avatars of himself through several mediums.

<center><gallery>
File:Comic CWC.PNG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].
File:Chris Lego.jpg|As a Lego figure.
File:ThreePieceSetA.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christian.
File:ThreePieceSetC.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christine.
File:AmiiboSet.jpg|As [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]]. From left to right, Christian, Chris Chan Sonichu, Christine. Chris sold these through [[Etsy]].
File:Lego Christines.png|Another Lego figure of his 2015 [[Tomgirl]] self.
File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|[[Christine Doll]], pictured on left.
File:Chris skylanders avatar.jpg|Skylanders avatar.
File:Skylanders swag.png|A shirt, card and 3D figure of his Skylanders avatar, costing him $90 from the company.
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg|As a Transformer.
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg ‎|As a [[MLP]] character.
</gallery></center>

===Persecution complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, walking through the shadow of the valley of death.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] to becoming the social outcast that we all know and...tolerate), thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===
{{Main|Naïve}}

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising china or threatening his identity. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a -mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would tell if we end up seeing Chris [[Cosplay|cosplaying]] or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. It's pretty obvious that Chris had only done this because he believed that he would score with Jackie sooner or later.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}

Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.

===Materialism===
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that,to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats homos, seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===
{{Main|Chris and the Internet}}
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's post contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards in amplexus, thumbnails of tribadism, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a china-shaped lemon--his description for the picture ''bragged'' about how [[JERKS]] would be offended by it.

===Paranoia===
One of the worst things that comes out of Chris's ego is his bloated sense of paranoia. As mentioned above, Chris has taken to withholding certain information from trolls like an animal being shocked by a shock collar. However, this line of thinking has pushed Chris into believing that the entire world is out to get him. In early days, it was actually simple - Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh were conspiring to stop him from succeeding in his Love Quest. However, after the incident with [[The Wallflower]] and the realization that there's entire webpages devoted to him, it's caused him to see things in a bigger, yet disturbing picture.

As such, Chris has decided to become a recluse, refusing to make friends with anyone unless he knew him in the real world. However, this is a double-edged sword as Chris refuses to interact with anyone in the real world as well. In the real world, if someone spotted Chris and knew him by name, even if they had heard of him from whatever remaining place is left for him to go to, he panics and runs, fearing that the person is actually a troll seeking to spread more information about him across the Internet. As well, if someone wanted to contact Chris through other means, even if that person had no idea who Chris was or what Sonichu was or anything that the trolls had done, Chris will shut them out because he doesn't know who they are and thus, has relegated them to the title of "troll".

A perfect example of this was revealed in a series of Facebook screenshots. While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted him, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.]]

===Surrendering Information===
If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. The ongoing [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Soiled Underpants Saga]] is the shining example of this.

Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris' experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.

In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post in particular revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''

The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brushfire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.

===Fishing for sympathy===
In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the Father Call, where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter (note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.) In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his Facebook entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler, and his friend, Anna McLerran is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his [[autism|being autistic]], has poisoned Chris' mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the white knights. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{Clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and his ego

2017-06-04T00:14:29Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Antisocial personality disorder */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}
{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (King James Version)]]}}

[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]

'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris]]'s flaws. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved wife, children and home).]]

==Origins==
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris and reality#In the Real World|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. But Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him]].

===The enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}

Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a 30-year-old man with autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-minds|high functioning]]" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems, from emotional disorders to mental retardation, live far more independently than Chris does.

For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and money}}
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a "[[monthly tugboat]]" as he calls it. Although intended to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[vidya]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for admiration]], and [[Chris and remorse|lack of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Chris and art|exaggerates]] [[CADD|achievements]] and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]]).

2. Is preoccupied with [[Dreams|fantasies]] of unlimited success, power, brilliance, [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|ideal love]].

3. Believes that he or she is "special" and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]]. (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] favorable treatment or [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|automatic compliance with his or her expectations]].

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]].

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan Schroeder|feelings and needs]] [[The Wallflower|of others]].

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her.

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]].}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Antisocial personality disorder==
It's also entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Antisocial personality disorder|antisocial personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM V, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines antisocial personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

The essential features of a personality disorder are impairments in personality (self and interpersonal) functioning and the presence of pathological personality traits. To diagnose antisocial personality disorder, the following criteria must be met:

A. Significant impairments in personality functioning manifest by:
1. Impairments in self functioning (a or b):
a. Identity: Ego-centrism; self-esteem derived from personal gain, [[power]], or [[China|pleasure]].
b. Self-direction: Goal-setting based on personal gratification; absence of prosocial internal standards associated with [[Chris and the law|failure to conform to lawful]] or culturally normative ethical behavior.

AND

2. Impairments in interpersonal functioning (a or b):
a. [[Chris and death|Empathy]]: Lack of concern for feelings, needs, or [[Ryan Cash|suffering of others]]; lack of [[remorse]] after [[Gal-pals|hurting or mistreating another]].
b. Intimacy: Incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, as exploitation is a primary means of relating to others, including by deceit and coercion; use of dominance or intimidation to control others.

B. Pathological personality traits in the following domains:
1. Antagonism, characterized by:
a. Manipulativeness: Frequent use of subterfuge to influence or control others; use of seduction, charm, glibness, or ingratiation to achieve [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|one's ends]].
b. [[List of Chris's lies|Deceitfulness]]: Dishonesty and fraudulence; [[Alec Benson Leary calls|misrepresentation of self]]; embellishment or [[Chris and reality|fabrication when relating events]].
c. [[Chris and remorse|Callousness]]: Lack of concern for feelings or problems of others; lack of guilt or remorse about the [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|negative]] [[Twin Falling Towers|or harmful effects]] of one's [[Megan Schroeder|actions]] [[Kacey|on]] [[The Wallflower|others]]; [[Chris and anger|aggression]]; sadism.
d. Hostility: [[Michael Snyder|Persistent or frequent angry feelings]]; anger or irritability in response to [[Kick the Autistic|minor slights and insults]]; mean, nasty, or [[Death threats|vengeful behavior]].

2. Disinhibition, characterized by:
a. [[Father Call|Irresponsibility]]: Disregard for – and failure to honor – [[Chris and money|financial]] and [[Chores|other obligations or commitments]]; lack of respect for – and [[Jackie e-mails|lack of follow through]] on – [[Kacey calls|agreements and promises]].
b. Impulsivity: [[Mary Lee Walsh|Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli]]; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; [[Stress|difficulty establishing and following plans]].
c.Risk taking: Engagement in [[Un-clit 2.0|dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities]], unnecessarily and without regard for consequences; boredom proneness and thoughtless initiation of activities to counter boredom; lack of concern for one's limitations and denial of the reality of [[14 Branchland Court|personal]] [[Chris and health|danger]].

C. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are relatively stable across time and consistent across situations.

D. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not better understood as normative for the individual‟s developmental stage or sociocultural environment.

E. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not solely due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma).

F. The individual is at least age 18 years.}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris.

==Manifestations==
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.

But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.

===Fixation on self-image===
Chris has created many avatars of himself through several mediums.

<center><gallery>
File:Comic CWC.PNG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].
File:Chris Lego.jpg|As a Lego figure.
File:ThreePieceSetA.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christian.
File:ThreePieceSetC.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christine.
File:AmiiboSet.jpg|As [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]]. From left to right, Christian, Chris Chan Sonichu, Christine. Chris sold these through [[Etsy]].
File:Lego Christines.png|Another Lego figure of his 2015 [[Tomgirl]] self.
File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|[[Christine Doll]], pictured on left.
File:Chris skylanders avatar.jpg|Skylanders avatar.
File:Skylanders swag.png|A shirt, card and 3D figure of his Skylanders avatar, costing him $90 from the company.
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg|As a Transformer.
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg ‎|As a [[MLP]] character.
</gallery></center>

===Persecution complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, walking through the shadow of the valley of death.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] to becoming the social outcast that we all know and...tolerate), thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===
{{Main|Naïve}}

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising china or threatening his identity. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a -mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would tell if we end up seeing Chris [[Cosplay|cosplaying]] or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. It's pretty obvious that Chris had only done this because he believed that he would score with Jackie sooner or later.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}

Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.

===Materialism===
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that,to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats homos, seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===
{{Main|Chris and the Internet}}
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's post contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards in amplexus, thumbnails of tribadism, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a china-shaped lemon--his description for the picture ''bragged'' about how [[JERKS]] would be offended by it.

===Paranoia===
One of the worst things that comes out of Chris's ego is his bloated sense of paranoia. As mentioned above, Chris has taken to withholding certain information from trolls like an animal being shocked by a shock collar. However, this line of thinking has pushed Chris into believing that the entire world is out to get him. In early days, it was actually simple - Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh were conspiring to stop him from succeeding in his Love Quest. However, after the incident with [[The Wallflower]] and the realization that there's entire webpages devoted to him, it's caused him to see things in a bigger, yet disturbing picture.

As such, Chris has decided to become a recluse, refusing to make friends with anyone unless he knew him in the real world. However, this is a double-edged sword as Chris refuses to interact with anyone in the real world as well. In the real world, if someone spotted Chris and knew him by name, even if they had heard of him from whatever remaining place is left for him to go to, he panics and runs, fearing that the person is actually a troll seeking to spread more information about him across the Internet. As well, if someone wanted to contact Chris through other means, even if that person had no idea who Chris was or what Sonichu was or anything that the trolls had done, Chris will shut them out because he doesn't know who they are and thus, has relegated them to the title of "troll".

A perfect example of this was revealed in a series of Facebook screenshots. While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted him, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.]]

===Surrendering Information===
If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. The ongoing [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Soiled Underpants Saga]] is the shining example of this.

Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris' experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.

In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post in particular revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''

The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brushfire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.

===Fishing for sympathy===
In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the Father Call, where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter (note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.) In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his Facebook entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler, and his friend, Anna McLerran is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his [[autism|being autistic]], has poisoned Chris' mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the white knights. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{Clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and his ego

2017-06-04T00:12:22Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Antisocial personality disorder */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}
{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (King James Version)]]}}

[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]

'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris]]'s flaws. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved wife, children and home).]]

==Origins==
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris and reality#In the Real World|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. But Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him]].

===The enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}

Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a 30-year-old man with autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-minds|high functioning]]" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems, from emotional disorders to mental retardation, live far more independently than Chris does.

For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and money}}
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a "[[monthly tugboat]]" as he calls it. Although intended to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[vidya]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for admiration]], and [[Chris and remorse|lack of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Chris and art|exaggerates]] [[CADD|achievements]] and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]]).

2. Is preoccupied with [[Dreams|fantasies]] of unlimited success, power, brilliance, [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|ideal love]].

3. Believes that he or she is "special" and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]]. (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] favorable treatment or [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|automatic compliance with his or her expectations]].

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]].

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan Schroeder|feelings and needs]] [[The Wallflower|of others]].

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her.

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]].}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Antisocial personality disorder==
It's also entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Antisocial personality disorder|antisocial personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM V, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines antisocial personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

The essential features of a personality disorder are impairments in personality (self and interpersonal) functioning and the presence of pathological personality traits. To diagnose antisocial personality disorder, the following criteria must be met:

A. Significant impairments in personality functioning manifest by:
1. Impairments in self functioning (a or b):
a.Identity: Ego-centrism; self-esteem derived from personal gain, [[power]], or [[China|pleasure]].
b.Self-direction: Goal-setting based on personal gratification; absence of prosocial internal standards associated with [[Chris and the law|failure to conform to lawful]] or culturally normative ethical behavior.

AND

2. Impairments in interpersonal functioning (a or b):
a.[[Chris and death|Empathy]]: Lack of concern for feelings, needs, or [[Ryan Cash|suffering of others]]; lack of [[remorse]] after [[Gal-pals|hurting or mistreating another]].
b.Intimacy: Incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, as exploitation is a primary means of relating to others, including by deceit and coercion; use of dominance or intimidation to control others.

B. Pathological personality traits in the following domains:
1. Antagonism, characterized by:
a.Manipulativeness: Frequent use of subterfuge to influence or control others; use of seduction, charm, glibness, or ingratiation to achieve [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|one's ends]].
b.[[List of Chris's lies|Deceitfulness]]: Dishonesty and fraudulence; [[Alec Benson Leary calls|misrepresentation of self]]; embellishment or [[Chris and reality|fabrication when relating events]].
c.[[Chris and remorse|Callousness]]: Lack of concern for feelings or problems of others; lack of guilt or remorse about the [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|negative]] [[Twin Falling Towers|or harmful effects]] of one's [[Megan Schroeder|actions]] [[Kacey|on]] [[The Wallflower|others]]; [[Chris and anger|aggression]]; sadism.
d.Hostility: [[Michael Snyder|Persistent or frequent angry feelings]]; anger or irritability in response to [[Kick the Autistic|minor slights and insults]]; mean, nasty, or [[Death threats|vengeful behavior]].

2. Disinhibition, characterized by:
a. [[Father Call|Irresponsibility]]: Disregard for – and failure to honor – [[Chris and money|financial]] and [[Chores|other obligations or commitments]]; lack of respect for – and [[Jackie e-mails|lack of follow through]] on – [[Kacey calls|agreements and promises]].
b. Impulsivity: [[Mary Lee Walsh|Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli]]; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; [[Stress|difficulty establishing and following plans]].
c.Risk taking: Engagement in [[Un-clit 2.0|dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities]], unnecessarily and without regard for consequences; boredom proneness and thoughtless initiation of activities to counter boredom; lack of concern for one's limitations and denial of the reality of [[14 Branchland Court|personal]] [[Chris and health|danger]].

C. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are relatively stable across time and consistent across situations.

D. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not better understood as normative for the individual‟s developmental stage or sociocultural environment.

E. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not solely due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma).

F. The individual is at least age 18 years.}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris.

==Manifestations==
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.

But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.

===Fixation on self-image===
Chris has created many avatars of himself through several mediums.

<center><gallery>
File:Comic CWC.PNG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].
File:Chris Lego.jpg|As a Lego figure.
File:ThreePieceSetA.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christian.
File:ThreePieceSetC.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christine.
File:AmiiboSet.jpg|As [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]]. From left to right, Christian, Chris Chan Sonichu, Christine. Chris sold these through [[Etsy]].
File:Lego Christines.png|Another Lego figure of his 2015 [[Tomgirl]] self.
File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|[[Christine Doll]], pictured on left.
File:Chris skylanders avatar.jpg|Skylanders avatar.
File:Skylanders swag.png|A shirt, card and 3D figure of his Skylanders avatar, costing him $90 from the company.
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg|As a Transformer.
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg ‎|As a [[MLP]] character.
</gallery></center>

===Persecution complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, walking through the shadow of the valley of death.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] to becoming the social outcast that we all know and...tolerate), thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===
{{Main|Naïve}}

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising china or threatening his identity. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a -mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would tell if we end up seeing Chris [[Cosplay|cosplaying]] or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. It's pretty obvious that Chris had only done this because he believed that he would score with Jackie sooner or later.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}

Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.

===Materialism===
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that,to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats homos, seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===
{{Main|Chris and the Internet}}
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's post contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards in amplexus, thumbnails of tribadism, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a china-shaped lemon--his description for the picture ''bragged'' about how [[JERKS]] would be offended by it.

===Paranoia===
One of the worst things that comes out of Chris's ego is his bloated sense of paranoia. As mentioned above, Chris has taken to withholding certain information from trolls like an animal being shocked by a shock collar. However, this line of thinking has pushed Chris into believing that the entire world is out to get him. In early days, it was actually simple - Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh were conspiring to stop him from succeeding in his Love Quest. However, after the incident with [[The Wallflower]] and the realization that there's entire webpages devoted to him, it's caused him to see things in a bigger, yet disturbing picture.

As such, Chris has decided to become a recluse, refusing to make friends with anyone unless he knew him in the real world. However, this is a double-edged sword as Chris refuses to interact with anyone in the real world as well. In the real world, if someone spotted Chris and knew him by name, even if they had heard of him from whatever remaining place is left for him to go to, he panics and runs, fearing that the person is actually a troll seeking to spread more information about him across the Internet. As well, if someone wanted to contact Chris through other means, even if that person had no idea who Chris was or what Sonichu was or anything that the trolls had done, Chris will shut them out because he doesn't know who they are and thus, has relegated them to the title of "troll".

A perfect example of this was revealed in a series of Facebook screenshots. While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted him, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.]]

===Surrendering Information===
If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. The ongoing [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Soiled Underpants Saga]] is the shining example of this.

Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris' experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.

In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post in particular revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''

The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brushfire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.

===Fishing for sympathy===
In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the Father Call, where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter (note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.) In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his Facebook entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler, and his friend, Anna McLerran is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his [[autism|being autistic]], has poisoned Chris' mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the white knights. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{Clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and his ego

2017-06-01T22:49:45Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}
{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (King James Version)]]}}

[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]

'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris]]'s flaws. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved wife, children and home).]]

==Origins==
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris and reality#In the Real World|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. But Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him]].

===The enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}

Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a 30-year-old man with autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-minds|high functioning]]" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems, from emotional disorders to mental retardation, live far more independently than Chris does.

For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and money}}
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a "[[monthly tugboat]]" as he calls it. Although intended to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[vidya]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for admiration]], and [[Chris and remorse|lack of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Chris and art|exaggerates]] [[CADD|achievements]] and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]]).

2. Is preoccupied with [[Dreams|fantasies]] of unlimited success, power, brilliance, [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|ideal love]].

3. Believes that he or she is "special" and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]]. (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] favorable treatment or [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|automatic compliance with his or her expectations]].

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]].

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan Schroeder|feelings and needs]] [[The Wallflower|of others]].

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her.

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]].}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Antisocial personality disorder==
It's also entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Antisocial personality disorder|antisocial personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM V, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines antisocial personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

The essential features of a personality disorder are impairments in personality (self and interpersonal) functioning and the presence of pathological personality traits. To diagnose antisocial personality disorder, the following criteria must be met:

A. Significant impairments in personality functioning manifest by:
1. Impairments in self functioning (a or b):
a.Identity: Ego-centrism; self-esteem derived from personal gain, [[power]], or [[China|pleasure]].
b.Self-direction: Goal-setting based on personal gratification; absence of prosocial internal standards associated with [[Chris and the law|failure to conform to lawful]] or culturally normative ethical behavior.

AND

2. Impairments in interpersonal functioning (a or b):
a.[[Chris and death|Empathy]]: Lack of concern for feelings, needs, or [[Ryan Cash|suffering of others]]; lack of [[remorse]] after [[Gal-pals|hurting or mistreating another]].
b.Intimacy: Incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, as exploitation is a primary means of relating to others, including by deceit and coercion; use of dominance or intimidation to control others.

B. Pathological personality traits in the following domains:
1. Antagonism, characterized by:
a.Manipulativeness: Frequent use of subterfuge to influence or control others; use of seduction, charm, glibness, or ingratiation to achieve [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|one's ends]].
b.[[List of Chris's lies|Deceitfulness]]: Dishonesty and fraudulence; [[Alec Benson Leary calls|misrepresentation of self]]; embellishment or [[Chris and reality|fabrication when relating events]].
c. [[Chris and remorse|Callousness]]: Lack of concern for feelings or problems of others; lack of guilt or remorse about the [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|negative]] [[Twin Falling Towers|or harmful effects]] of one's [[Megan Schroeder|actions]] [[Kacey|on]] [[The Wallflower|others]]; [[Chris and anger|aggression]]; sadism.
d. Hostility: [[Michael Snyder|Persistent or frequent angry feelings]]; anger or irritability in response to [[Kick the Autistic|minor slights and insults]]; mean, nasty, or [[Death threats|vengeful behavior]].

2. Disinhibition, characterized by:
a. [[Father Call|Irresponsibility]]: Disregard for – and failure to honor – [[Chris and money|financial]] and [[Chores|other obligations or commitments]]; lack of respect for – and [[Jackie e-mails|lack of follow through]] on – [[Kacey calls|agreements and promises]].
b. Impulsivity: [[Mary Lee Walsh|Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli]]; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; [[Stress|difficulty establishing and following plans]].
c.Risk taking: Engagement in [[Un-clit 2.0|dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities]], unnecessarily and without regard for consequences; boredom proneness and thoughtless initiation of activities to counter boredom; lack of concern for one's limitations and denial of the reality of [[14 Branchland Court|personal]] [[Chris and health|danger]].

C. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are relatively stable across time and consistent across situations.

D. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not better understood as normative for the individual‟s developmental stage or sociocultural environment.

E. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not solely due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma).

F. The individual is at least age 18 years.}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris.

==Manifestations==
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.

But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.

===Fixation on self-image===
Chris has created many avatars of himself through several mediums.

<center><gallery>
File:Comic CWC.PNG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].
File:Chris Lego.jpg|As a Lego figure.
File:Lego Christines.png|Another Lego figure of his 2015 [[Tomgirl]] self.
File:AmiiboSet.jpg|As [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]]. From left to right, Christian, Chris Chan Sonichu, Christine. Chris sold these through Etsy.
File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|[[Christine Doll]], pictured on left.
File:ThreePieceSetA.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christian.
File:ThreePieceSetC.jpg|Super Smash Bros avatar for Christine.
File:Chris skylanders avatar.jpg|Skylanders avatar.
File:Skylanders swag.png|A shirt, card and 3D figure of his Skylanders avatar, costing him $90 from the company.
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg|As a Transformer.

</gallery></center>

===Persecution complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, walking through the shadow of the valley of death.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] to becoming the social outcast that we all know and...tolerate), thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===
{{Main|Naïve}}

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising china or threatening his identity. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a -mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would tell if we end up seeing Chris [[Cosplay|cosplaying]] or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. It's pretty obvious that Chris had only done this because he believed that he would score with Jackie sooner or later.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}

Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.

===Materialism===
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that,to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats homos, seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===
{{Main|Chris and the Internet}}
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's post contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards in amplexus, thumbnails of tribadism, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a china-shaped lemon--his description for the picture ''bragged'' about how [[JERKS]] would be offended by it.

===Paranoia===
One of the worst things that comes out of Chris's ego is his bloated sense of paranoia. As mentioned above, Chris has taken to withholding certain information from trolls like an animal being shocked by a shock collar. However, this line of thinking has pushed Chris into believing that the entire world is out to get him. In early days, it was actually simple - Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh were conspiring to stop him from succeeding in his Love Quest. However, after the incident with [[The Wallflower]] and the realization that there's entire webpages devoted to him, it's caused him to see things in a bigger, yet disturbing picture.

As such, Chris has decided to become a recluse, refusing to make friends with anyone unless he knew him in the real world. However, this is a double-edged sword as Chris refuses to interact with anyone in the real world as well. In the real world, if someone spotted Chris and knew him by name, even if they had heard of him from whatever remaining place is left for him to go to, he panics and runs, fearing that the person is actually a troll seeking to spread more information about him across the Internet. As well, if someone wanted to contact Chris through other means, even if that person had no idea who Chris was or what Sonichu was or anything that the trolls had done, Chris will shut them out because he doesn't know who they are and thus, has relegated them to the title of "troll".

A perfect example of this was revealed in a series of Facebook screenshots. While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted him, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.]]

===Surrendering Information===
If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. The ongoing [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Soiled Underpants Saga]] is the shining example of this.

Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris' experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.

In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post in particular revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''

The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brushfire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.

===Fishing for sympathy===
In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the Father Call, where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter (note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.) In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his Facebook entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler, and his friend, Anna McLerran is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his [[autism|being autistic]], has poisoned Chris' mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the white knights. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{Clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

The High School Story

2017-05-27T21:35:51Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank: /* Summary */

"'''The High School Story'''" is a piece of alternate reality fiction [[Chris]] authored on the [[CWCipedia]] as part of his backstory for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

[[Image:carrie.jpg|thumb| Terrah LeAnne Yowman: ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL!]]
==Summary==
In it, Chris creates another [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]] persona, Terrah LeAnne Yowman (one [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|gender-flipped Mary Sue]] wasn't enough for Chris), a high-functioning [[autism|autistic]] young lady with psychic powers. She is accused of being a [[homos|lesbian]] even though she is STRAIGHT, and all because [[Homos|she has more male friends]] than [[gal pal|gal-pals]], showing us that [[Honor roll|Chris has no idea how lesbians act in]] [[Chris and reality|real life]], and was [[Chris and his ego|drawing inspiration from his own high school life]]. Despite supposedly being bullied, anyone who accuses her of lesbianism is beaten up by "a nearby homophobe". With little transition beyond establishing a [[JERKS|guy-pal]] with a suspiciously feminine name, Chris retells the story of his [[Manchester High School#Seinor Prom|"seinor prom"]] inexplicably fused with [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his graduation]].

Like Chris in his own real-life graduation, Terrah receives no special awards despite the [[Honor_roll#Chris's award winning art work|high quality]] of [[Chris and art|her artwork]]. She reacts rather unreasonably by exploding the high school, killing everyone there. She is thereafter cursed to wander the halls for eternity, although how there even ''are'' halls for her to haunt is a bit of a mystery since she just annihilated the entire fucking building.

{{quote|PRAISE MY CREATIVITY!|Terrah LeAnne Yowman, AND NOT CHRIS AT HIS GRADUATION}}

==Text==
{{Quotebox|The High School used to be the respectable school, known as [[Manchester High School|Menchi-Nasu High]]. It was left behind and abandoned, because of lack of funds for that one school. Then the students left, and the "students" bummed around. There was an accident that happened at a [[Manchester_High_School#Seinor_Prom|Seinor Prom]] in [[1999]]; a [[autism|High-Functioning Autistic]] individual with Psychic Powers, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Terrah LeAnne Yowman]], roamed the halls with growing social outreachings; she had a number of good guy-pals, and a few [[gal pal|gal-pals]]. She was constantly ridiculed with being labeled a [[homos|Lesbian]], because she hung out with MORE DUDES Mutually.

She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully [[Creepy stare|an intimidating glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight Homophobe would attack that bully with No Mercy; beat the crap out of that person.

Come her Seinor Prom in 1999, she asked her Best Guy-Pal, [[Tiffany Gowen|Tippanston Gowen]], to the Prom. And even though she felt nervous at first, he asked her to dance. She replied, "I have two left-feet." Still, he took her hand, and danced the night with her. She was most happy and in peace. Then after the last dance, he kissed her long and good. If she was still alive today, she would have been [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|anxiously waiting for the 2009 Reunion]] to return the favor of Gowen offering the Strong Autistic individual the best night of their life at the Prom.

Now, Terrah was a Great Artist, as she was well-known and well-praised in the number of Art Classes she took at Menchi-Nasu High.

Following the last dance, they had the Seinor Awards Ceremony; ALL the students stayed until the FINAL END of that night. Terrah got a Star-Pin for her Good Grades; that was the ONLY AWARD she would receive that night. She anxously awaited Awards for her Inspiring, Creative Artwork she had Hand-Painted, Carved, Molded, Drawn and all Media Taught to her, yet she received NO AWARDS FOR HER CREATIVITY. She felt distraught even when called out the passing of the ART AWARDS; Her Name was NOT SAID at all.

Only Few Left early enough to tell the tale, but AFTER the final award was passed, and during the FINAL DANCE, she was beside herself; feeling alone. In her Furious Rage in not being appreciated Creatively EVEN ONCE, she concentrated ALL HER PSYCHIC POWERS, SHOUTED "PRAISE MY CREATIVITY!", then a NOVA FLASH beamed from the Prom location, seen from as far as a Hundred Miles away. All that remained was Total Silence, Terrah's gown and Star Pin, and just nearby the gown, Tippanston's Dress Jacket, with a Wedding Ring in a box, and engraved in it, "To Terrah, My Sweetest, Most Creative Woman Ever. I Love You." Tippanston wanted to wait till he had brought her back home to propose, but sadly, he died with her that night.

Since then, Terrah haunted the halls of Menchi-Nasu High, drawing the Cheerleader Raccoon Character, [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Francine StripeCheer]], she had created from her freshman year as Varsity Cheerleader Manager. }}

==Analysis==
Chris, as always, fails to understand the differences in gender relations and perception in society, as while a man who hangs out with a lot of women as strictly friends will get called gay, a woman who hangs out with a lot of guys is more likely to be called a "[[Gal pal|tease]]" or a [[Tomgirl|tomboy]]. The only reasonable interaction in the story — a boy proposing to a girl on prom night, which is a melodramatic cliché but still happens in real life once in a while — is soured when one realizes "Tippansten" is meant to be a gender-flipped [[Tiffany Gowen]], girl Chris knew from high school, which means he also still wants a [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|heroine fresh from the shop]] to rescue him from a world that doesn't appreciate his "[[Chris and art|art]]."

Perhaps this desire to be rescued is what prompted him to try out the gender-flip itself, as well: In heterosexual romantic relationships, it's generally the guy who is expected to initiate things by asking the girl out. Chris, however, given his [[noviophobia]], the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]], and having never had to work for anything in his life, would prefer to take the passive role. Therefore, he creates a female alter-ego, for whom this passiveness will hopefully be seen as more societally acceptable. Sadly, Terrah fares just as badly as Chris did and dies a [[virgin with rage]].

This story also confirms (again) that Chris is terrible at making up names, with "Tippanston" and "Francine StripeCheer" joining the ranks of [[Simonla]].

Interestingly, Francine StripeCheer is an analogue to [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Bionic]], rather than Sonichu. Notice how Bionic the basketball-playing hedgehog was turned into [[Megagi La Skunk|a cheerleading raccoon]], as Chris is [[Women's rights|far too sexist]] to have a girl actually playing a sport.

Despite the inherently small framework of a short story, Chris still manages to make many continuity errors. In addition to the above-noted incomplete complete destruction of the school, it is also said that some students survived the hellsent hissyfit by leaving the prom early, despite it also being stated that all the attendees stayed till the "FINAL END". Chris also proposes two alternative futures had Terrah not lost her shit at the prom, which in context seem mutually exclusive; one in which she anxiously awaits the school reunion so she can ask Tippenston to dance to "return the favor", and another in which Tippanston proposes to Terrah after the prom (and she presumably accepts). Thus, even when Chris is writing about things that are hypothetical ''in-universe'', he still manages to screw it up.

The whole story is of course an obvious rip-off of the [[1976]] [[The Wallflower|Stephen King]] film ''[[Wikipedia:Carrie (film)|Carrie]]'', in which an unattractive young girl with budding telekinetic powers is bullied so severely that she ends up destroying her prom hall and killing hundreds. It has been suggested that Chris is too sheltered to have read the novel; it contains some intense and raw themes, rather, Chris has probably seen the movie. By no coincidence, the movie ''Carrie'' appeared in Chris's [[Netflix]] queue shortly before he wrote this story. Considering how Chris can equate the death of [[Patti Chandler|his dog]] to the death of [[Ryan Cash|a human being]], it's easy to think he would consider not getting an undeserved minor art award exactly as bad as (if not worse than) having swine's blood dumped on him and being ridiculed by his peers.

Oh, and also, this is one of the only stories not from the backwaters of [[4-Cent Garbage|4-chan]] to glorify a homophobe [[Kick the Autistic|beating the]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] out of people.

==Fan comic==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:F1p11.jpg
Image:F1p12.jpg
Image:F1p13.jpg
Image:F1p14.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of The High School Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R88HlvfLXB4}}
| stardate = 28 [[January 2010]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| subject =
| type =
| info = Apologies to Howard Shore.
}}

==See also==
*[[Things Chris has ripped off]]

{{Writings}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:High School Story}}
[[Category:Prose]]

Father Call

2017-05-24T19:53:12Z

Razzamatazz Buckshank:

[[Image:Md.PNG|thumb|Chris's drawing of <s>Guile</s> Kacey's father (from [[Sonichu Special 4]]).]]

The '''Father Call''' is a [[Phone calls|phone call]] that occurred on 4 [[November 2009]]. In this call, [[Solid Chris]] spends 2 hours on the phone with [[Trolls|Matthew Devoria]] (born [[1957]]), father of his would-be [[sweetheart]] [[Kacey]], and a retired [[Wikipedia:United States Marine Corps|U.S. Marine]] who served in the [[Wikipedia:Gulf War|Gulf War]]. Chris uses the opportunity of speaking to the dad of his sweetheart by boasting of his now-legendary [[honest]]y before flimsily attempting to defend himself from an angry father.

Their conversation is illuminating. This is probably the most blunt assessment of himself and his place in the world that Chris has ever directly received: Matt berates Chris for his [[Monthly tugboat|laziness]], [[Chris and his ego|egotism]], [[Chris and death|lack of empathy]], [[Chris's room|inability to grow up]], [[Chris and health|unhealthy lifestyle]], [[obesity]], and general failure at life. To this day, Chris has never taken any of Matt and Kacey's advice to heart; throughout the call he retorts by saying that he leads a hard life, which includes such laborious tasks as doing [[:Image:Gibson.jpg|menial]] [[chores]], [[CWC Fighter|mowing the lawn]], and [[Tour of Chris's House|cleaning the house]]. He also claims to be [[I AM STRONG|strong]] and that he [[Guitar Hero|exercises]] [[Mass debating|regularly]], as well as eating healthy by going to [[McDonald's]] only once per week and [[Homos|shoving vegetables down his throat]].

After being berated with insults for two hours, Chris became increasingly more [[stress]]ed, frequently making insensitive statements towards Matthew. In general, Chris greatly offended Kacey and her father, causing her to rethink her decision and go back to [[Liquid Chris]].

Chris recorded his [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5 November video]] as a follow-up to this conversation, hoping to repair his relationship with Kacey. He then had another [[Kacey and Liquid Call|phone conversation with Kacey]], which, to put it bluntly, ended equally as poorly.

==Summary==
* Throughout the call, ''[[Documentary|Portal]]'' is occasionally heard in the background.
* The call begins with Chris talking to Kacey and making some rather dubious-sounding claims about his weightlifting prowess. Kacey is audibly rather puzzled, and doesn't bother to question Chris on the truth of these claims, instead handing the phone over to Matthew.
* Matt starts out being fairly civil toward Chris, though it's immediately obvious that he doesn't have much respect for him. Matt begins by calling out Chris on his underwhelming employment record, and tells him that no sane employer would take his claim of being a [[Pokémon]] Gym Leader seriously.
* Upon being questioned as to the source of his monthly income, Chris reveals his [[autism]] and the corresponding monthly tugboat. Matt asks if any hypothetical children (or "'tard babies", as he says) of Chris and Kacey would also be autistic, and while Chris denies that they would be, Matt checks with Kacey, who confirms that autism is more often than not genetic. This is the first of several times Chris lies during the call, and while Matt goes easy on him this time, he won't be so generous the next time Chris does it.
* Chris reveals his dream about God promising him a daughter named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Not only does Matt consider the idea of God sending Chris messages to be blasphemous, he doesn't even like Crystal as a name and believes it's more appropriate for a [[Little Tomboy Blue|stripper]], or [[wikipedia:Cristal (wine)|an expensive brand of]] [[Alcohol|champagne]].
* After indirectly confirming to Matthew that he was interested primarily in Kacey for her looks, he is questioned on why the great and powerful Liquid was impersonating him. Solid's response is to claim that Liquid was jealous of his success with ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. Matt is at first completely bewildered as to why Chris is spending so much time on ''Sonichu'', before using it to make the point that Chris has completely failed to move on from his teenage years.
* The tone of the conversation takes a significant turn for the worse when Matt brings up the subject of [[Twin Falling Towers]], and says that he found said video especially offensive since his mother (Kacey's grandmother) was one of the casualties in the World Trade Center on 11 September 2001. Chris's only response is to blame it all on [[Clyde Cash]], because [[Mumble 9.5|he was being "mean" to Chris]].
* Chris tries to elicit sympathy by claiming to have undergone "war-like tribulations" in his life. Matt tells Chris what war is ''actually'' like, recounting his Gulf War experiences, particularly an incident where he had to carry a dead colleague back to base. Chris retracts his statement about his problems being "war-like," but carries on whining about the hard burdens he's had to deal with, like pulling weeds, mowing the lawn, moving furniture, and burying his beloved [[Patti Chandler|dog]]. Matt is even more offended by the insinuation that this is equal to the death of his mother.
* Chris isn't discouraged by the fact that his attempts to earn sympathy aren't working, and rants semi-coherently about how the evil [[troll]]s have [[Kick the Autistic|made his life a misery]]. Not only does this self-pitying whining severely annoy Matt, Chris unwittingly digs himself a deeper hole by revealing details about the [[Ohio trip]] in the [[Julie]] saga, causing Matthew to angrily question him on why he won't come to D.C. to meet Kacey if he were willing to drive +800 miles to another state to rescue a fake girlfriend.
* Matt accuses Chris of acting like a child, and mentions the state of his room as proof that he's lazy and unwilling to take responsibility. Chris just tries to blame [[Barb]] for not helping him. Matt sarcastically comments on his lack of maturity, but Chris misses the sarcasm and thinks he's actually agreeing with him.
* In an unbelievably insensitive move even by his standards, Chris compares the effort that tidying his house would entail with the effort Matt spent carrying his dead colleague back to base. Matt is rightfully ''furious'' at this comparison, and gets Kacey back on the phone to tell her how full of shit Chris is. Kacey tells Chris that he needs to respect Matthew more, before handing the phone back to her father.
* An off-hand remark about the library leads Matt to question Chris on his reading habits. Chris says that the last book he read was ''To Kill a Mockingbird''. Matt asks him what he learned from the novel, and Chris proceeds to describe the plot of ''Of Mice and Men''. Upon having this pointed out, Chris remembers which book he's talking about and gives a ''vaguely'' correct description of the plot, but seems to have only read (or paid attention to) the first half of the story.
* Matt says that Kacey reads books like Chris stuffs candy down his throat. Chris ''completely'' misses the point and angrily claims he has a healthy lifestyle. Matthew thoroughly mocks Chris's lack of basic comprehension skills, and challenges him to produce a video of himself exercising in order to prove his obviously false claims of being healthy.
* Returning to the subject of Crystal, Matthew asks Chris how he intends to support himself, Kacey and a child on his tugboat and a minimum wage job. Chris tries to claim that $8/hour is plenty for a family of three, to which Matt points out that not only is that amount of money nowhere near enough, the minimum wage is actually $7.25/hour. Chris takes a sneering tone during this debate, only serving to piss Matt off even more, and causing Kacey to again tell Chris to respect Matthew. By this point Kacey is getting pissed off with Chris's disrespect and clear failure to listen to her advice.
* Matthew again questions Chris on his lifestyle, and asks him to take his pulse. Chris discovers his pulse to be 84 per minute; Kacey overhears this and tells Chris that with his history of heart trouble, such a pulse indicates a serious problem. Chris doesn't seem at all bothered by him possibly risking death, which really annoys Kacey and causes her to storm off.
* Chris bizarrely attempts to make himself look better by boasting that he's American-born and bred, and has never even left the country, somehow thinking this will impress a man who fought in Iraq. Matt points out that not only is this irrelevant since Kacey and Liquid Chris are also American, true patriots don't make videos mocking 9/11.
* Matt decides to test Chris's memory and asks him various details about Kacey; Chris gets her favorite color vaguely right, has no idea what her favorite flower is, and takes forever to remember which of her family members died on 9/11 (which should've been easy for Chris because Matt told him ''earlier in'' the conversation). Matt tells Chris that he must be [[naïve]] to think he would have any chance with Kacey; Chris gets ''really'' annoyed by Matthew's usage of [[Niggos|the dreaded "N" word]] and actually implies that he would try to kick Matthew's ass were they in the same room. At least, until Matthew reminds him which of the two was formerly in the USMC, causing Chris to quickly backtrack on his threats.
* Out of nowhere, Chris suddenly brings up his experience of being restrained by his elementary school principal and teachers. This is probably yet another attempt to gain sympathy, but Matthew just considers it more evidence that Chris has serious problems, and points out how hypocritical it is for him to accuse Liquid of being the crazy one.
* Matt brings up Chris's first meeting with Kacey (and her sister), and accuses him of acting in an inappropriate "touchy-feely" manner, which Chris just flat-out denies being true. This leads into Matthew questioning Chris on where he would take Kacey on a date, and in turn how much he would tip the server. Chris's response indicates that he believes the "15% rule" [[Autism|to be a cast-iron rule]], rather than just a rough guideline for tipping.
* Chris abruptly attempts to end the call, partly because of how late at night it is, but also because he thinks Matthew is being disrespectful to ''him''. Kacey comes back one last time and rails at Chris for being disrespectful and generally full of shit, as Matthew attempts to hold back laughter; Chris doesn't give a clear answer to any of her accusations, resulting in her storming out of the call for good. The tape runs out before the call actually ends, but it's clear by now that Chris has fucked up, big time.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Father Call
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Jhp5WyvPWNI}}
| Stardate = 4 November 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 24]]
| next = [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]
}} </center>

{{Improve|runtimes|accurately correct transcripting}}

===Matthew Makes the Scene (0:00-4:26)===
'''Chris:''' Hello?

'''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris, it's Kacey!

'''Chris:''' Hi, Kacey, how are you?

'''Kacey:''' Um, I'm cool, um, I'm over at my parents' house, cause, um, they wanted to call [''Chris speaks over her''] 'cause they saw some of your videos and I gave them the letter.

'''Chris:''' Okay, all right. Actually, I'm uploading a [[11042009 51 50|video]] now, I did fif--I did 51 reps with, uh, 50-pound weights… well, not really weights, but as much as they are…

'''Kacey:''' You did 51 reps or 51 times? 'Cause reps are different.

'''Chris:''' You know, li… you know, lifted them up, 51 times, lifted them up with each arm. 51 times--arm, so it's a total of 102.

'''Kacey:''' Hmm. [''pause''] Well, at--was--was it hard?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it was hard, but… it was a show of strength anyway.

'''Kacey:''' Um, that's funny, 'cause I have to lift, like… 100 and more pounds for my job--I, but, um, let me go ahead and get my dad for you, because he wants to talk to you.

'''Chris:''' Alright, by the way what's his name? [''pause''] Mokay.

'''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, uh, it's Matthew.

'''Chris:''' Oh, Matthew, okay.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. [''corpsing'']

'''Chris:''' Alright.

'''Kacey:''' Alright, well gu--just give me a minute.

'''Chris:''' Okay. [''long pause and typing noises'']

'''Matthew:''' Hello, Chris. This is ''Matthew'', Kacey's father.

'''Chris:''' Hello, si--good evening, sir, how are you?

'''Matthew:''' I'm good, thank you. How are you?

'''Chris:''' I'm da--I'm doing good.

'''Matthew:''' Good. Good. So, uh… so, I've got a couple of questions for you… well, n'I mean more than a couple. Aaai?

'''Chris:''' That's fine, that's fine, I'm happy to oblige with an answe--with an honest answer.

'''Matthew:''' Okay. [''inhales''] Well, uh, first and foremost, uh, let's see, uh… you got a job, son?

'''Chris:''' Hmm, not currently, but [[Chris's resume|I am working towards getting a job]]. I have been filling applications left and right.

'''Matthew:''' Really, really, what kinds of places, uh, what kind of skills you got?

'''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah, w--yeah, I'm looking, um--I'm applying for, like, uh--retail stores and such, uh got an application for a new CVS in [[Ruckersville]], and uh, one over at the [[Walmart]], and I had one over at [[Target]]… I have worked before, I've worked at--duh, [[Wendy's]] in di--Ruckersville for a few months… first off, I worked off as a sales representative for, uh… [[Cutco]] Cutlery.

'''Matthew:''' Right, that's--that's minimum wage stuff, uh… yi, d'you go to college or something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|I went to college]] and, uh, got a degree and a certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]].

'''Matthew:''' And you're working at… ''Target''… I mean, I know the economy's bad, but I mean… surely, you've gotta, you know, use that somehow, right? And how old are you again?

'''Chris:''' I'm 27… sir.

'''Matthew:''' You're almost ''30'' and you're working at the… ''Target''. You wanna work at Target, I should say.

'''Chris:''' Hmm… yeah, well, not really sure what kind of jobs my, uh… degree and certificate would get me, but I mean, like, you know… but I mean, if I--if I did know, then I'd certainly strike up on the job…

'''Matthew:''' You got a degree not knowing what kind of jobs you could get… in that field, and you've had it for how long? When did you graduate?

'''Chris:''' Hmm… I graduated in 2006.

'''Matthew:''' 2006, so you've had it for 3 years and you have done nothing with it… y-you haven't… you haven't had any jobs between then?

===The Pokémon Volunteer Who Lives with His Parents (4:28-11:01)===
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I had--I did--I did volunte--I have done volunteer work… uh… [''cut off'']

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't pay, though. Although, what kind? [''stutters''] Humor me.

'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Matthew:''' Uwha--what kind of volunteer work? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' Alright, well yeah, I helped the--I helped, uh… the chil--I helped the, uh, children over at the--at the [[The GAMe PLACe|Assistant Gym Leader]] for the [[Pokémon]] [[Trading Card Game]] league, a few years back…

'''Matthew:''' P--''Pokémon''? Di--wait, that…

'''Chris:''' You know, teach them how to play, and building decks from ther-swha-what scraps they had, and uh… di--making sure they kept in order, y'know, d-d-don't get too crazy…

'''Matthew:''' And how long ago was this?

'''Chris:''' …I'm sorry, what was that?

'''Matthew:''' How long ago was this? I mean, wasn't that ''Pokémon'' thing, wasn't that back in [[1990s|the 90s]] when that was really popular? Because I think my youngest daughter used to like that, but you know, that was years ago.

'''Chris:''' It was the late 90s.

'''Matthew:''' LATE 90s.

'''Chris:''' [''stutters''] That's still going strong. Maybe I--

'''Matthew:''' If you say so.

'''Chris:''' …and I have been doing that from 1998 'till about 2008. [''pause''] So about 10 years I've been doing that.

'''Matthew:''' Right. You've been playing a children's card game for 10 years.

'''Chris:''' …yeah, but also [''stutters''], like, as you know, like, a form of babysitting.

'''Matthew:''' Babysitting… but… but doesn't babysitting usually, you know, pay? I mean, and, that doesn't sound like you're volunteering. When I think volunteering work, I think like, you know, Red Cross, that kind of thing. You know, actually going out and ''really'' helping people. Planting ''trees'', that kind of stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have--I have been--I have helped people--out. You know, I, uh, helped, like, the parents mind… knowing their children were in a safe environment and I helped ensure that their children were playing and, uh, were within the safe environment and that nothing was to go wrong and, uh, and I was respected as an authoritative figure in that sense.

'''Matthew:''' Right. I'ean, [''stutters''] and… but… are you still doing this? I mean, or what are you doing right now? If you stopped, why aren't you doing this anymore? [''crinkles paper or snack bag'']

'''Chris:''' Ummm… yeah, it was kinda, um, kinda like, uh, you know, not too m--not too many were showing up, so it was like my choice on ending that, you know. But yeah, it was a sa--yeah, it was kind of a sad day for me, you know, to have to put that behind me, but, you know, we gotta move on, but anyway… but anyway, aside from that, I… I've been searching and, uh, doing [''stutters a lot''] yardwork for my family and other sorts of… heavy lifting.

'''Matthew:''' Right, right… well--aaaah, anyways, I'm done talking about, uh, ''Pokeyman'' now. I got a couple more. So, uh, what kind of place you got, you got a place of your own? Where you living at?

'''Chris:''' Yeah… I'm currently living in a [[14 Branchland Court|two-story house]] with [[Borb|my mother and my father]].

'''Matthew:''' Living with your parents, age 30. Got it. [''Chris tries to interrupt''] ''Almost'' 30, excuse me.

'''Chris:''' Well, uh, I hope that, uh, doesn't strike you in a bad thing, but it's like, uh, I just did not feel comfortable leaving the safety of my home with the, uh, for the while.

'''Matthew:''' And, uh, why is that exactly?

'''Chris:''' 'Cause I could not really, I just did not feel, you know, like I was ready for a place of my own just yet.

'''Matthew:''' You gotta leave somehow, you've gotta leave at some point. I mean, I think most of my kids will, you know, move out 18, 20… y'kn--I'm okay if they hang out while they're in college, but after that they gotta start looking for a place of their own, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah… yeah. But, you know, to--to each their own individual growth rates.

'''Matthew:''' Right, but, but uh, I just gotta ask, though… I mean, you're really serious about Kacey, are you not?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I--yes, I am serious about Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Okay so… uh-

'''Chris:''' And with her help, I feel like I could get a good start on being able to, uh, you know, shortly, in the near future, move out of my--[[Rental House|move of the house]].

'''Matthew:''' …with her help?

'''Chris:''' …and get a place of my own…

'''Matthew:''' You need her help in order to support both of you?

'''Chris:''' [''floundering''] It's more like, you know… um… ye, some details I'm not understand… I talk to my parents sometimes about that, but it's like, uh, you know… mmm… I… it's like a… whole bunch of details… you know… yeah. [''says "mmm" or audibly farts'']

'''Matthew:''' Explain, please. [''stutters''] I don't know what these details are.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, I'm still, like, uh, I would need like, you know, external influence, you know, somebody outside the house to help me feel more comfortable in moving out.

'''Matthew:''' You could, you know, people are always looking for roommates, you know, just go to any college board, you know, y-sti…

'''Chris:''' Yeah… but still, I mean, that's not…

'''Matthew:''' That's not really an excuse.

'''Chris:''' That's not something I would feel comfortable with, since, uh, I haven't been to college for a few years, you know… I keep between myself…

'''Matthew:''' So, but I mean really, okay, if you can't s-s-if you can't support my daughter, my daughter needs a man, a MAN to support her.

'''Chris:''' I am a man, sir.

===Financial Situation and Crystal the Tard Baby (11:01-18:28)===
'''Matthew:''' How serious are you about my daughter?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Matthew:''' How serious are you about my daughter? Really. If you aren't even willing to support yourself, you know, like that uh…

'''Chris:''' I am willing, I am able to support myself as well. I'm able to support myself. And I will be able to support your daughter as well.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, then t-then then why aren't you? I mean, where's the money gonna come from?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I do have, I do have a- I do have a- a [[Monthly tugboat|monthly income]]. I get, uh--

'''Matthew:''' Do you now?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I get it fro- yeah, pretty much- I get it from the government. My family is a little bit in with the government.

'''Matthew:''' S-s-so w-why do you- why do you get welfare? Mi-might I ask? Or, whatever you call it. Um…

'''Chris:''' You can call it, like, you know, a stepping-stone in the right direction of, uh, me movin- me moving out and- and all that, but seriously, though, I am very strong-willed, and I feel like, and I feel that I could, that when- that- I could- I would be able to take care of Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' You're avoiding my question. Why are you on, I think it's actually called Social Security. Why do you get it? I mean, I'm a pretty strong Republican, we don't really like that whole welfare thing. We work, and if we can't work, we go join the military. That's what I did.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I understand that. You see, I'm [[Autism|high-functionally autistic]].

'''Matthew:''' Are you now?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was diagnosed with that at a young age, and I was, I still have [''brief disconnection''] just a few years ago.

'''Matthew:''' So, ah… isn't that [[autism]] thing, it's like a, you're not, like, ''retarded'', are you?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, not really, what?

'''Matthew:''' I'm just saying, you know, that's a genetic thing, right? I don't want any, if you're really going to get with my daughter, I don't want 'tard-babies.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, autism is not genetic.

'''Matthew:''' Ah, I think I read somewhere that it was, actually. I'm pretty sure I did.

'''Chris:''' No, no, it's a myth. That's a myth.

'''Matthew:''' A myth. A myth.

'''Chris:''' Autism is not genetic. You're not gonna have, there would be no retarded grandchildren on your part. I can guar… I can promise you that.

'''Matthew:''' If you say so. If you really say so. I'm looking this stuff up right now. My Kacey, she's in medicine, she knows this stuff, she's an expert.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, like, you know, it might be also…

'''Matthew:''' Actually, hold on, she's right over here. Hey, Kacey, what do you know about autism? Is that genetic?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it's definitely genetic. It usually runs in the mother's line but it can be in the father's as well. But it's usually the mother's. And twins have a much higher chance.

'''Chris:''' [''In a relatively quiet sigh''] Great.

'''Kacey:''' Anything else, Dad?

'''Matthew:''' Ah… no, I think that's good, yeah, you go… What were you doing again?

'''Kacey:''' I need to go finish washing the dishes. I'll be right back, Dad.

'''Matthew:''' I think there's some cake down there, too. Go help yourself or something.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, sweet! Thanks, Dad.

'''Matthew:''' Anyways, where was I? Let's see… if you really want a kid with my Kacey, I think you'd probably be best if you adopted or something. That's a good thing, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, in my case, I would not, I do not, I would not care to adopt. You see, I have a dream, I have my dream, and that dream is to give birth, to have, to share a daughter with my wife-to-be, and her name would be [[Crystal]].

'''Matthew:''' A dream… as in, you were asleep and you saw something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Plus, in the dream, I had, like, an office job.

'''Matthew:''' An office job. Right.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' You know, I don't think, Kacey actually doesn't really like that name. You know, it's kind of a stripper name, CrySTAL, it's kinda like Cristal, that champagne…

'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, it would not, it would not, it would not be CriSTAL, it would be CrySTULL. Does that make sense?

'''Matthew:''' It's still pretty close.

'''Chris:''' It's fairly, it does sound close, but it's not, you're not, you're just replacing the C-R-Y-S-T-L-E ''(yes, he misspelled that)'', you're replacing the L-E with an A-L.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, but even so… you said this all came to you in a dream… dreams, they don't pay the bills. It's just a dream. That's all just from your head. I had a dream once where, you know, I was flying. You don't see me doing that.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, okay, but I mean, it's like in, yeah. Flying, yeah, you're definitely not going to be able to fly on your own. Sure. But it's like, you know, when you see a dream that's actually reasonable, that you can actually picture yourself doing in the future while you're awake. You know? It's like a career thing. You know, it's like, yeah, you definitely, it's like, you know, when your child, there's a chance you could become a cowboy if you dreamed of being a cowboy. But, you know, that may not be, that may seem kind of far-fetched, if you're living in a place that's not near or in Tetsas, but if you're like, if you dreamed you want, if you want, if you dreamed you wanted to be, to become a teacher, that's more likely, that's more likely possible. You can get the degree and become a teacher.

'''Matthew:''' So? If you want to go do it, be a teacher, go to work in an office, GO WORK IN AN OFFICE! Go apply to an office. Don't dream about it, dreams do nothing for you, they don't pay the bills.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I am taking, I have been, I have been working on that, and I have been taking action on looking for good jobs. Definitely looking in office jobs.

===Prophetic Dreams and Bob Chandler===
'''Matthew:''' You think you have some kind of powers of prophecy? That doesn't seem very, I don't know, to me it doesn't seem very Godly, you know.

'''Chris:''' No, ah, ah, ah, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that I'm a prophet. I'm not saying that. But, you know, it's definitely something that, you know, it's definitely something that I feel that God has promised to me and [[Chris and religion|I believe in God]], I go to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] every Sunday, and like, like in…

'''Matthew:''' That sounds like being a prophet to me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you do, yeah, there are prophets that are mentioned in the Bible.

'''Matthew:''' Yes, but.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not, I, but, I am not saying that I am a prophet. Not saying that.

'''Matthew:''' Son, I go to church every Sunday too, and I've never had any kind of dreams of anything telling me that something is going to happen. God doesn't do that. God doesn't tell you things like that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you never know, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, it'll just, it depends on the people, you know? You never know it, but you know, you might actually have gotten a message in a dream that may have actually [''brief interruption''] but you might, you might not have caught on as quickly, or… and I do not mean to insult you, but, ah, yeah, right now, conflicted by, you know, retrospect, you might actually realize that could have been a message from God.

'''Matthew:''' Naaaah… if you think you see the future, that sounds like you're trying to be a prophet. That doesn't really sound religious, that just sounds like some [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|mumbo-jumbo]] to me.

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying that it is the definite future, but that it is a POSSIBLE future. And I am looking-and I am looking to make that happen.

'''Matthew:''' Well, MAKE it happen.

'''Chris:''' I am going to.

'''Matthew:''' Do it. And if it's not a message from God, you should go out, you should do it. Why don't you go- don't wait for it, it sounds like you're just sitting around waiting for it. When did you have this dream, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I pretty much, I pretty much had it when I was between seven and nine years old-

'''Matthew:''' Seven-wh-TWENTY YEARS AGO? Excuse me? And nothing has happened between then and now?

'''Chris:''' ''[floundering]'' I was definitely, like, in my [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school years]]…

'''Matthew:''' And you hold onto this dream… I mean, you're almost thirty, you're, you know… time is gonna start working against you, you know? I mean, life is short.

'''Chris:''' Yes, it is.

'''Matthew:''' And you're living with your parents. I mean, what do you do all day, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I get creative by uh, I like to [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|draw and color]]. And uh, sometimes I like to create with my hands, you know, I [[Medallions of Fail|sculpt]]. And, uh even as far as, you know, just tinkering with, anything I like tinkering with. I even have-I am even [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|technologically smart]]. I even took a [[computer]] upgrading class where I put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch.

'''Matthew:''' So… why aren't you working building computers or something? It sounds like something you could do.

'''Chris:''' [''ignoring this fairly good point''] Hm, yeah, it is. Hm. Well I pretty much did get started on the techno-savvy, I would say, from my father. He's a retired technical engineer, he worked for GE for a number of years, he also, uh, was in the, well he was stationed over in Korea in the Signal Corps. He-he designed the controls for the plastic auto machines for his other achievements. So without him we would not have the plastic for, at the very least, your soda bottles.

'''Matthew:''' That's all fine and good, I mean, your father… but I'm not talking about your father, I'm talking about you.

'''Chris:''' I'm just pointing it out as hinting at my technological influence.

'''Matthew:''' But… you haven't done anything, unlike your father. That's what I'm getting here. That's not good, son. I mean, when I was 27 I already had a wife and kids, I was working 40 hours a week.

'''Chris:''' Hmm… umm… yes, well, my father didn't marry-my father did not marry the first time till he was 30 himself.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah but you know, he probably also had a job and was living on his own, and he was also in the military, like me. So I don't really care about what your father did, because that's what he did, that's not what you did.

'''Chris:''' I understand-I understand th-I understand what you're talk-I understand… talking about… and, you know, and your point.

'''Matthew:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I make a, I am trying to make a valid point myself. I feel like that, you know, we both are definitely understanding each other.

===Kacey's Boobs and Fame===
'''Matthew:''' Really? I must say, I'm not really impressed, but, uh, let's move on. Let's talk a little bit about what you think about my lovely daughter. What was the first thing you liked or noticed about Kacey?

'''Chris:''' I noticed her beautiful face.

'''Matthew:''' Her beautiful face.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And her blue-green eyes are like a pair of swimming pools that I would just like to swim around and bathe myself in.

'''Matthew:''' ''[extremely uncomfortable laughter]'' So the first thing you noticed was her appearance.

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] But also I definitely like to take note over time, over talking to her, one day that she was very smart and very fun to hang around with, and she definitely knows what she's talking about. If anything [''laughs''] she could be a little bit sm- she could be smarter than me [[Ego|on some things]].

'''Matthew:''' But still, the first thing that, uh, you noticed, was her appearance. So, were you looking for like a trophy wife or something? It's kind of funny…

'''Chris:''' [''stuttering''] The first thing I noticed about her in person, when we talked first, you know, between phone calls and e-mails, after kind of an indirect meeting there, but anyway. I actually learned first that she was smart and very delightful to talk to. And then after a while, she and I met in person, and then I got to appreciate her face. And the-the smart, charming wit behind it.

'''Matthew:''' This doesn't really add up to what Kacey told me, you know. The impressions I got from what she said about your first little… "encounter," we'll call it… she said she was a little bit… uncomfortable around you, you know? And apparently when you first talked to her, you actually were [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be somebody else]], actually. You know, that [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well he was, that was another thing. Yeah. All right, yeah.

'''Matthew:''' She didn't like that much.

'''Chris:''' My friend [[Kim]], she helped me, uh, get into that Chris's e-mail account. Before I ever learned about Kacey-

'''Matthew:''' You know, that Chris was her boyfriend at the time, you know? I mean, I've actually talked to that guy and met him in person, he's actually a pretty nice kid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but if you watch his [[YouTube]] videos he does get a little crazy. But anyway for the past few months now… he was, you know, he was pretending to be me, and a few months ago, he pretends, or I'm assuming he pretends, that he gets kidnapped and tied up, and sent to the desert. And then Kacey tells me that cops ''[incomprehensible]'' in the desert, but I'm going off track here-

'''Matthew:''' That just doesn't make any sense to me. Why would he pretend to be you? Someone like you, guy who lives with his parents.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Okay, first off, I'm Internet famous for being the original creator of the, uh… it's like a combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and Pikachu [''Kacey's Dad groans''], so I was the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. And I created him on March 17, [[2000]], and I drew the [[comic]] books… I originally started that back in 2000, and I've drawn a few books and I'm still doing some drawing, I don't like to leave an unfinished project finished. But-

'''Matthew:''' [''Has been trying to interrupt for the last 30 seconds''] Okay, so… you know, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about? I barely know what Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokémon is other than it's kids' stuff. So basically what I'm getting here is you took two kids' things and put them together, you know, two [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] kids' things…

'''Chris:''' But it's making up a whole new character, and my father has the knowledge with the [[copyrights]] and whatnot, and he verifies for me that I have been in the clear the whole time, from the beginning, to uh, to continue on with Sonichu being m-Sonichu and Rosechu being my original creation. And I create the original stories and everything, and the books, and I've done the [[CWCipedia]], which was originally on the CWC Sonichu site speaking of which, CWC is my name, Christian Weston Chandler. Anyway, I've been going on with that since 2000, uh-

'''Matthew:''' Which means you were 18 when you made this. You were what, a senior in high school? You were playing with kids' stuff? And that's what you've been doing for… what, you know, since then? You're 27 years old? You're playing with kids' stuff? I mean, like, little kids' stuff. I mean, like, ten-year-olds.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, it may sound like that, but in a sense, it was definitely a fad that I was, uh, enjoying, and, uh-

'''Matthew:''' But fads, they come and go.

'''Chris:''' -until when I had to like, uh, which was just a year and a half ago, I had to let that go, and I let that go a year and a half ago. But anyway, getting back to, uh…

'''Matthew:''' You said it was popular, still. But you're not making any money off it. You're just doing this while you sit around in your parents' house for no real reason, because like I said, you're not making any money off this, and you still wanna be a boyfriend.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it is a thing I’m doing to make money off of, I could be, it is a thing that I am working on starting to make money off of, I am in talks with the com- comic book company, as well as Nintendo of America, about, uh, you know, about possibly, about the likelihood of me being able to, uh, of, uh, us getting together… making money off of this, cuz, obviously, since 2000 it became more and more popular on the, uh, Internet, and I became Internet famous and, uh, along with a bunch of the fans like that, I was, ah…

'''Matthew:''' Don’t you… don’t you need permission from both [[SEGA]], and [[Nintendo]]? I mean, is that, Sonic is from Sega, right? I mean, I know a little bit about what my daughter was… my little daughter used to talk about… I kinda know what a Sega is, I think.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I have talked to Sega as well, but anyway, getting back to, anyway, getting back to, if I may finish… yeah. Anyway, yeah, I got Internet famous, I got the fans, and then I got the naysayers which were the Internet bullies and trolls… and, uh… and uh, that Chris, and uh, Chris over there, was uh, he was one of them, and uh before, and this is, uh before I met Kacey he uh, he started pretending to be me, on the, in YouTube videos. And, uh…

'''Matthew:''' This… okay, I’m sorry, this is just getting completely ridiculous, all this Internet, I mean you just, all this Internet stuff, I don’t, I don’t know much about computers, but I mean, that’s just… this sounds like just a whole waste of time, that I don’t care about, because it doesn’t pay the bills, and it DOES NOT help support Ka- my Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I- I- I understand that.

===The Shit Hits the Fan===
'''Matthew:''' I mean, I was in the MILITARY. I was DOING something. I fought in Desert STORM. I fought against Saddam HUSSEIN.

'''Chris:''' Yeah… okay… you fought in Desert Storm, you fought against Saddam… that’s all good, that’s very good. That’s honorable. That is honorable.

'''Matthew:''' But… and then what- and then YOU, you made this… Son-ni-chu thing. I mean… it’s like… ah, this is, something’s, something’s not right here, you know? But, but, but since you did bring up Youtube, I got, I got kind of an interesting little thing… that I noticed, in one of your recent videos, heh. I mean, I don’t know what exactly you were thinking, with this, um… you know, you did [[Twin Falling Towers|that video with the, ah… 9/11]]. I can’t say I really enjoyed that too much. I mean… that kinda hits… that kinda hits close to home to me, you know, I mean…

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I, yeah, I realize, I realize that now, and I have received the complaints so, yeah that’s why I have… I put that…

'''Matthew:'''You’re lucky I don’t… you’re lucky I don’t have a Youtube, son. I mean, my… I mean, that hits close to home to me. My MOTHER, Kacey’s grandmother… y’know, she DIED on 9/11.

'''Chris:''' I, um… I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, and I, uh, I mean, it’s like, I did not mean to hit that, hit that fragile emotion, ah, it was originally, ah, a thing, against a longer, worser- worser Internet [[troll]], who goes by the name of [[Clyde Cash]], whose alias is Gregg Mays, and…

'''Matthew:''' You made a video…

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that’s just a whole nother story, right there. Anyway, I had…

'''Matthew:''' You made a video, basically, just trying to, trying to mess with some… GUY… on the Internet… that makes fun of one of the greatest American tragedies of our lifetime- no, THE Amer- greatest American tragedy of our lifetime.

'''Chris:''' Mm… yes, but, yeah but this guy, uh, he’s done a lot, he’s done a lot of things against me, yeah, on the Internet, trying to… you know… y-yeah, trying to destroy my good name with, uh, a whole bunch of twisted tru- told a whole bunch of twisted truths and phrases, and, words, and, I- that I have said, he just twist them around to- in evil ways and just, like some, and just, try- he’s one of those that just- and trying to slander my good name… And, uh, worse off, and worse off, and worse off, and worse off…

'''Matthew:''' Okay, let me ask you… let me ask you something. Where were you, on 9/11? I mean, they say everybody remembers where they were on 9/11 when they heard that those towers were going down, when a plane had hit those towers, and THOUSANDS of people DIED.

'''Chris:''' Yeah… I do remember where I was on, uh, 9/11, yeah, I was a, I had just, uh, I was just, uh, let go, from uh, my job at, uh, Wendy’s, it was uh, for, there was some differences between me and my employer, you know, I… [''trails off with a faint groan''] Yeah, but anyway,

'''Matthew:''' Would you like to know where Kacey was? Would you like to know where Kacey was?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, okay, well, if I may finish, if I may finish, yeah, I was-

'''Matthew:''' No. No, I’m sorry. No, no, Kacey was AT Ground Zero. She was giving BLOOD, and plasma, volunteering, and where were you again?

'''Chris:''' [''Pause''] Hm. Yeah, I was out shopping with my mom that day.

'''Matthew:''' …Uh-huh. Really. That’s…

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' …That’s wonderful. Wait a minute, you said Wendy’s before. That… are you changing stories on me? H-have you been, like, changing stories on me through this entire call?

'''Chris:''' No, no I'm not changing-

'''Matthew:''' Are you just making shit up now?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not changing stories, this is the same story, I had just gotten fired from the Wendy's and I was feeling down, and I, I was feeling down…

'''Matthew:''' You'd been FIRED from Wendy's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was, yeah, let go. I was let go from Wendy's, and I was sad, I was sad about that, you know, they gave me…

'''Matthew:''' WHY?

'''Chris:''' I told you! It was, it was because of, uh, emotional differences.

'''Matthew:''' Emotional differences.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, my, my, my employer, my…

'''Matthew:''' That's… this is absolutely nothing, that just sounds like a bunch of bullsheeit.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' Also sounds a little GAY. [''Chris stammers, splutters, and sighs in the background''] I mean, what, did the fry cook break up with you or something? I mean, come on.

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] No! It was nothing, it was nothing like that! It was a misunderstanding, something…

'''Matthew:''' Why do you [[sigh]] so much? That's just irritating.

'''Chris:''' That was, that was, that was misunderstanding, that was just, there was a whole bunch of misunderstandings between me and my employer, and he, and he has, and he had, and he had, and he had a spike on his shoulder against me. And, and, and, and then, and then that was why he, and then that was why he eventually fired me…

'''Matthew:''' [''has been trying to interrupt Chris's stammering for a while''] WHAT KIND OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Like I, like I did, like I did some things that he thought were bad but were, that he thought were bad but were actually good. And then he let, and then he, and then he let me, and then he let me go based on that. Anyway, yeah, I, anyway, this was a couple of days before 9/11 and I was still feeling down from being let go, and then, on 9/11 I was out shopping with my mother that day.

===Maturity and Chores===
'''Matthew:''' Good god, I mean, you sound like you're just, you sound like you're just some simpering little… your voice is all wavery… good lord. You want to date… YOU? You want to date my daughter? You're not even giving me an ounce of respect now.

'''Chris:''' Oh come, oh come, oh come on, I grew up a lot, I grew up a lot since then! [''rapidly loses coherence''] I've grown, I've grown up a lot, in sounds, in sounds, duetothegirl, and, sounds strite, sound, in sound mind.

'''Matthew:''' Goddamn. This just sounds like a bunch of fucking whining. You're not even, you don't even sound like half the man that other Chris sounds like at this point. You don't sound like you've grown up. You play fucking Pokeymon all the time!

'''Chris:''' [''Chris's dander is up.''] I am, I am, I am a grown-up ''sir''! I have moved, I have [[Pokéwalker of Fail|moved on]] from Pokémon [[June 2010|years ago]]! I am a grown-up! I have moved on from the childish things.

'''Matthew:''' No, you didn't move from… you went from Pokémon to Sonichu. What the fuck? This is still just kid shit. You don't have a job. You're still living with your parents. Almost 30 years old. This is ridiculous. You want to date my daughter. You realize that she's LEAGUES above you right now. She's out of your reach.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting a word in edgewise after many stammers''] I have, I have, I have suffered through my own, through my own trials and tribulations that would be war-like. I have suffered through a whole bunch of… enduring physical pains as well. You just could not, you just could not imagine…

'''Matthew:''' [''laughing''] Physical pain! [''more laughter''] God, this is…

'''Chris:''' I have, I have worked myself to the bone a lot!

'''Matthew:''' This is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' And I have, I have felt heartaches, and I have felt like…

'''Matthew:''' You don't know what physical pain feels like…

'''Chris:''' I have felt like I couldn't move on. But then, but then I still move on.

'''Matthew:''' …until you have taken a bullet in the fucking chest. I'm lucky to be alive. My comrade, one of my good buddies, he wasn't so lucky. He died right next to me. I carried him back…

'''Chris:''' [''humbled''] Yeah, well, well, yeah, that is, that was, that was very heroic and I commend you for that good sir.

'''Matthew:''' Sure. Yeah. I'm sure. You don't need to commend me. Now you're just kissing ass.

'''Chris:''' No! I am not just, I am not kissing ass!

'''Matthew:''' Okay. Well then. Alright. So really, okay… I have one more question, what do you have to offer my daughter, really? After I've heard all this, what exactly do you have to offer a future med student? She had a good fiancé, and now you think you can take her?

'''Chris:''' Yes I could, because I could offer, I can, I can offer her… a whole bunch of support that, that, that, that Chris could not offer. Like I am, I am, I am [[Honest Content|HONEST]]…

'''Matthew:''' Really? He's going to be published! He has a job lined up!

'''Chris:''' Like, I am honest, I am loyal, I am STRONG… good natured…

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, but this guy spoke several languages, he had connections in the comic-book industry, this guy could get a job right out of college, and you're mooching off the government, off of ''MY'' tax money! And you want to date my daughter. These two had so much in common, Kacey and Chris. She loved everything about him. And you? You just sit around, play with toys, and what, video games? Is that what you buy with your welfare money? Like Pokeyman shit?

'''Chris:''' I have not played with Pokémon [[Pokéwalker of Fail|for years]], sir!

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what do you play with?

'''Chris:''' Hmph.

'''Matthew:''' You denied Pokeyman, but you didn't deny video games.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I, okay, I have, I have, I have played some Gui-, I have played some [[Guitar Hero]].

'''Matthew:''' Guitar Hero.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' What the hell is that?

'''Chris:''' I have to stand, I have to stand up to play, I have to stand up and play gitar.

'''Matthew:''' You have to stand up to play ''guitar''! Oh, wow! That's… why don't you… that's just pathetic. You think that's exercise? Do you play a real guitar? I think the real Chris could play a real guitar.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] I work, I work hard for my father in his, in his gar-, in his gar-, in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!

'''Matthew:''' Pulled weeds? My grandma pulled weeds! My grandma had arthritis and she pulled weeds every day!

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] Well, I'm sorry to hear that your grandma had ar-, had arthritis. But I, but I, I am, I am very strong sir. And I tell you, it was very hard and torturing work to pull, to pull, to, I was working under the hot hot sun, it was, those were very hot days!

'''Matthew:''' And you still look like a, I dunno, you look pretty fat to me. I mean, my Kacey, Kacey exercises. And she lost weight, she looks, you know, she looks wonderful. And you? I mean, do you even know… what is the hot sun? I've been in the Middle East. You don't know hot until you've been out in the fuckin' shit.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yes, okay, yes, I will agree with you that I cannot, I cannot understand heat, truly understand heat, until I'm truly in the middle of a desert. But still, it was, those were very hot days. And I pulled those weeds. And I even, I even, I even placed lumber around the edges of that garden, and I hammered labels of those flowers, and my, that my, that my father hand-wrote accurately, and figured, and, pat out the, and he showed me where to place them, I even helped him a little bit with placing them. And I placed, I hammered those labels hard into those pieces of lumber.

'''Matthew:''' That's, that just sounds like basic chores. Lumber, pulling weeds, on a good day I had to do 200 push-ups. And I saw [[30 Push-Ups|those push-ups]] you did, whatever you call them. Push-ups? That's not push-ups. That was, I dunno, you looked like you were flopping around like a… fish. Actually kinda looked like you were humping the floor or something.

'''Chris:''' [''unfazed''] I even mowed the lawn!

'''Matthew:''' Mowed the lawn! [''laughs''] Wow.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and again, those were very hot days, too. And sometimes the lawnmower would quit on me! And I'd have to practically kick-start it, with my foot, I had to kick it to start it up again!

'''Matthew:''' You know, I see seven-year-olds who mow lawns all day for a summer job. All day. All summer. They do it just, they handle it just fine, why can't you? Oh, yeah, and they get paid for it, might I add.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting very angry at this point''] Yeah, well, I was not, well, I was not paid for mowing the lawn. And also, you know what? Another heavy-duty burden I had to take care of, and that I wasn't paid for? When [[Patti Chandler|my dog]] died, a few years ago, she was a sweet dog, I moved, I lifted and carried her doghouse to the site where we buried her. Her doghouse. That thing had to weigh, like, five, ten tons.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief'']

'''Chris:''' It was very heavy! I carried that thing.

===Death and Fake Internet Women===
'''Matthew:''' [''about to break down laughing''] You're talking to me about how your dog died, you're talking about someone who has lost friends and family in national tragedies. My mother, I had… I had to deal with the loss of my mother, not to old age, but to… fucking… a plane by fucking… piloted by terrorists. My gran-, my mother was killed by terrorists.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, my…

'''Matthew:''' And your… but, but your heavy burden is your dog died. I'm sorry, but boo, really, I've had dogs die, it sucks, but that's nothing… that's nothing…

'''Chris:''' Y'know, yeah, well, yeah, well, yeah, well, I was very sad when she died. It was not a matter of age, it was pretty much, yeah, she was very sickly, there was nothing we could do, so I, I signed that form to give them permission to put her to sleep. I let her, I let her go, that was an emotional burden on me. And I have, I have been, my aunt Corrina died just a few months, just a few months, just last January, because of, because of heart cancer.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] Are you, are you…

'''Chris:''' It was very, it was very saddening, I was very…

'''Matthew:''' I'm sorry, are you messing with me? Are you trying to compare the loss of my mother, the loss of someone who took care of me for years, to a dog? [[IRC_(20_January_2009)|Are you calling my mother a dog]]?

'''Chris:''' I am not calling your mother a dog.

'''Matthew:''' [''[[stress sigh]] of his own''] I had to dig my mother out of the rubble of the Twin Towers. I mean, and you had to lift a doghouse.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'll tell you, that doghouse was heavier than any tombstone. And that doghouse pretty much was the tombstone!

'''Matthew:''' Sounds like you're fucking with me now.

'''Chris:''' I am not! I am being very HONEST with you sir! I'm telling you the honest truth from my, from my sound mind and my sound heart.

'''Matthew:''' I'm starting to, I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole honesty thing you keep talking about. How do you think, how do you think Kacey would feel if I told her about this? What do you think, how do you think she would feel about you comparing this whole lifting a 30-, 50-pound doghouse to maybe a 100-, 200-pound tombstone? That doghouse was probably, what, made of wood? This is solid rock!

'''Chris:''' No, it was, it was, no, I mean, yeah, this is, it was wood ''and'' plastic, that thing had to weigh over a hundred pounds!

'''Matthew:''' Plastic's pretty light, you know. I'm sorry, this is, this isn't even close to the same.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' And that's just, that's just that… you know, if you had told this to Kacey, she would probably be, she would be so angry. You're just totally grasping at [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|straws]] at this point.

'''Chris:''' [''mutters under his breath''] Yeah, well, also I've been to a whole bunch of this, also, to go off talk, off-topic a bit, or going back to an old topic, that I have been DECEIVED BY THE TROLLS! A bunch of them pretending to be women who I thought were honest over the Internet when I was talking to them for the first time for a while!

'''Matthew:''' WHO GIVES A SHIT about the Internet?

'''Chris:''' And some, and some of them, and some of them were actually, and some of them were actually two honest women…

'''Matthew:''' BE A MAN…

'''Chris:''' And those [[PandaHalo|two]] [[Ivy|women]] died! I was very, I was very heartbroken by that! And yet I was even more heartbroken when I found out that…

'''Matthew:''' YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THESE PEOPLE!

'''Chris:''' I, I… I may not admit, okay, well, yes…

'''Matthew:''' Wait, wait, didn't you say, fake women? Did you say that these women were fake? So wait, these women were probably fake… fake women died?

'''Chris:''' [''in a state of great consternation''] I didn't, I didn't… no! I'm talking about, no, two of them, a coup-, a few of them were real women.

'''Matthew:''' And how many of these women have you gone through?

'''Chris:''' I have not been able to go to them. But one, there was this [[Julie|one time]] where I actually thought it was a woman, and [[Ohio_trip|I actually drove a whole, a whole, a whole day's worth]] back and forth, almost 24 hours, from my house to Cleveland, Ohio, where it turned out that was, that was, that was a bad lead. I drove a whole, I drove a whole, almost 20, I drove from five in the morning to 12 o'clock, to about, just after about, after midnight. To find out that the destination was a bad one, and that was, that was an imposterous troll.

'''Matthew:''' So you went to go to… Ohio, for a fake woman, but my Kacey just told me that you won't go and visit her, a real woman?

'''Chris:''' I, I, I, I… [''angry, incoherent stammering'']

'''Matthew:''' I am looking at Kacey right ''now''.

'''Chris:''' But you're in…

'''Matthew:''' You wouldn't even go to D.C., that's like two hours away. And you've met her before, for God's sake?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean, I was more naïve, I was more naïve back then, but I am very less naïve now. I have been very less naïve for about, for about a year now.

'''Matthew:''' I am not convinced.

'''Chris:''' [''snapping''] OH COME ON. YOU SHOULD BE CONVINCED!

===More Shit Hits the Fan===
'''Matthew:''' [''Laughing with frustration''] "Oh come on"? You know who, you know who you're talking to, son? What the fuck is this? Now you're just talking back to me like a little kid. Don't yell at me, you maggot! Piece of shit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you, you're obviously talking to me like, as if I was a child. And I am not a child.

'''Matthew:''' Because you are a child, you're acting like a child.

'''Chris:''' I am not a child, I am a MAN. [[I AM STRONG|I am a STRONG MAN]]. I have been through a whole bunch of emotional and physical traumas in my life!

'''Matthew:''' You haven't proven a thing to me, you've shown me nothing that could even possibly suggest that you are a man.

'''Chris:''' Well, sometimes my memory fails me!

'''Matthew:''' You're just sitting around in your parents' house, crying about your little dog, playing video games, whining about women on the Internet. Some lazy little maggot…

'''Chris:''' [''Full-blown tard rage erupts''] I AM NOT, I AM NOT LAZY!

'''Matthew:''' You're living with your parents and you don't have a job, how is that not lazy?!

'''Chris:''' Well, maybe I, maybe I don't have a job, but I do work around the house! I lift a whole bunch of…

'''Matthew:''' Chores! I do those every day, and I'm retired!

'''Chris:''' They're not just chores! They're not just chores.

'''Matthew:''' Yes-they-are! EVERYONE works around the house.

'''Chris:''' Maybe everyone works around the house, but they don't, they differ from burden to burden to… [''stress sigh'']… heavy weights! I mean…

'''Matthew:''' I've seen, you know, I was looking around that YouTube, I saw [[Tour of Chris's House|a video of your house]]. It's a FUCKING MESS! You call that working around the house? Are you trying to be, and you're trying to be some kind of house-husband or something?

'''Chris:''' Well, most of that mess belongs to my mother and I can't really, I can't really organize it without her being able to help me, without her being able to point out where to put everything!

'''Matthew:''' Oh, it's your mom's fault. That's real mature.

'''Chris:''' She's a, well, okay, yeah, I admit, she's a bit of a pack rat. And since she retired from secretarial work, she's been more lazy, I'll admit that.

'''Matthew:''' But your room is a mess, too. What do you have to say about that? I mean, this is nothing. At this rate…

'''Chris:''' [''On the edge of tears''] It may be nothing, it may be, it may be nothing…

'''Matthew:''' You're a pack rat too.

'''Chris:''' I am not a, I am not that bad of a pack rat. I mean, I even brought, I even brought a bunch, I even brought practically all that stuff into the house. And I had to bring in a couch and I had to bring in the hutch, among other pieces of furniture, among the smaller pieces of stuff, smaller bunches of junk that my mom got! That's a lot, that's a lot of heavy lifting. And it was very hard.

'''Matthew:''' Who doesn't have to push furniture? All this stuff you're talking about, these heavy burdens sound like stuff everybody has to do at least at some point. This is nothing, this is just regular, everyday housework. This isn't real work. This is chores.

'''Chris:''' I… oh! And you don't think…!

'''Matthew:''' This is kids' stuff.

'''Chris:''' Oh, and you don't think [[Chris and Remorse|carrying your soldier friend on your back was a heavy burden]]… That was a heavy burden!

'''Matthew:''' What… what the fu… are you mocking me?!

'''Chris:''' I am not mocking you!

'''Matthew:''' Is this… are you comparing…

'''Chris:''' I'm just, I'm just pointing out, I'm just pointing out that what you did was a heavy burden under…

'''Matthew:''' I don't know even know what to say to this!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, that is, yeah, that is a heavy burden because you were fighting to save, you were fighting to save your friend's life…

===Kacey Returns===
'''Matthew:''' Kacey, c'mon, come over here. You gotta listen to this guy. This is great.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, what's up, daddy?

'''Matthew:''' What is… I mean… this guy is just fucking with me…

'''Kacey:''' Daddy, you sound mad, what's wrong?

'''Matthew:''' This guy's just fucking with me, he's not even, he's not even respecting me at all. He's a disrespectful…

'''Kacey:''' What, he's disrespecting you? What is he doing?

'''Matthew:''' I don't know, he's just talking about all this faggot kiddie shit. How he has to move chairs and do, oh no, housework! And he's comparing that to when your grandma died.

'''Kacey:''' He's WHAT?

'''Matthew:''' Yeah. I mean, he's talking about all these "heavy burdens" he's had to face, you know, saying it's a heavy burden, kind of like… of course, you remember when we lost grandma…

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I know, I had to volunteer just to get my mind off it…

'''Matthew:''' This guy has nothing to offer you.

'''Chris:''' [''combative''] I have a lot to offer her!

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' I have plenty to offer her!

'''Matthew:''' Like what?!

'''Kacey:''' Don't yell at my father like that! You need to respect him, he's a retired Marine!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I do respect your father, Kacey.

'''Kacey:''' Well, you need to be nice to him! What are you going to do if he doesn't like you?

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I mean, I want, I was being nice to him, but then he started to insult me, he was talking down to me like as if I was a child, when I'm an adult.

'''Matthew:''' I already don't like…

'''Kacey:''' Chris! He's way older than you! He's your elder! To him, you are a child! I'm a child to him!

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I guess in compar-, I guess in comparison, yeah, that is true. But I just don't like being talked, I just feel, I just basically, just turns me off when I'm talked down to and such. I mean, I have to put up with my father talking down to me and such, and he starts more arguments than there are flies in the garbage dump!

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but my father doesn't get angry easily.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' You can't act like a child like that! He is your elder! You're trying to ask him PERMISSION.

'''Chris:''' Yeah…

'''Kacey:''' What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Well… yeah…

'''Kacey:''' Apologize!

'''Chris:''' Yeah… [''heavy sigh''] Yeah. [''more sighing''] I apologize, Matthew. I apologize for talking back to you. I just got, I got, I got carried away. Especially from feeling like I was being talked down to. Mm… I mean, surely, yeah, you can understand that, I'm sure your father talked down to you, you, even when you were about my age. And I do not mean to insult you or your father, I just felt like it was a fair compar-, I just felt like it was a good comparison there, but anyway. I apologize for yelling at you, and raising my voice.

'''Matthew:''' I don't even know how you think you can call me by my name right now.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' I don't believe a goddamn word you just said. I'm sorry. No, I'm not sorry, actually.

'''Chris:''' Well… believe it or not, it is the whole, honest truth, that I have been telling you this whole time.

'''Matthew:''' Honest. [''snort''] If that's the truth, I'm afraid to say you're pretty fucked. You're just using people from the Internet as scapegoats for your problems. And you were lying when you first met Kacey. That's what I've gotten about this. You… are not good enough for my daughter. Chris, on the other hand, has my blessing.

'''Chris:''' [''massive stress sigh'']

===Literature and Health===
'''Matthew:''' And if the Internet is such a problem for you, I mean, just get rid of it. What do you have to do? Just call up whoever it is, AOL, whatever it is you use, just call 'em and say "I don't want the Internet anymore." That's all you have to do. You don't need it for anything. Go to a library!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a bunch… yeah, well, I have a bunch of ties on the Internet and for your information I do go to libraries. I read a lot of books.

'''Matthew:''' Really? What was the last book you read?

'''Chris:''' {{anchor|Mockingbird}}The last book I read… was ''[[Wikipedia:To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]''.

'''Matthew:''' That's high-school shit.

'''Chris:''' You call this high-school, I call it adult, I call it…

'''Matthew:''' Kacey read that in high school, Kacey read that as a freshman in high school.

'''Chris:''' I call it adult drama.

'''Matthew:''' An adult drama.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It was very dramatic, and I felt for the characters in that, in that story, just like I feel for every character, all the characters in the stor-, in the stories that I have read, throughout my whole life.

'''Matthew:''' So what exactly did you learn from this book?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I… have… learned… that I have to be able to cope and be patient with, with a, with everybody who makes, a whole lot of people that may appear to be impatient or that could be hard to put up with. Like George had to put up with Lennie throughout the story. I mean, I'd say that's…

'''Matthew:''' That's ''[[Wikipedia:Of Mice and Men|Of Mice and Men]]''.

'''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry, I'm getting my stories mixed up. Yeah. Yeah. ''To Kill a Mockingbird''. Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' Yeeeaaaaah… did you even read this book?

'''Chris:''' Yes I did! The dramatic story, the story about that girl who was living with her family throughout the Depression and there was that guy in the store who was nice enough to leave her gifts in the tree trunk. That was like, that was definitely a story of, like, definitely, you know, be kind to your neighbor and they'll, and they'll, and they'll be kind to you. That's still another kind of, another, it's another story where you have to learn to be patient…

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't sound like the American classic that I know. I'm sorry. This is… just sounds like a bunch of horseshit. Do you remember the court scene?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, the what?

'''Matthew:''' The court scene in the book? That was pretty big, it was a pretty major part of the book. Do you even remember who [[Wikipedia:Atticus Finch|Atticus Finch]] was? That was probably the pivotal moment of the book.

'''Chris:''' Atticus… hm… Atticus… hm, I do believe that was the lawyer in that story.

'''Matthew:''' Yesss… man, you call yourself smart? You aren't smart enough for Kacey. When did you read this?

'''Chris:''' I… I've read it, about a month ago.

'''Matthew:''' A month ago.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.

'''Chris:''' [''Rage button pushed''] Stuff… candy… don't… I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!

'''Matthew:''' Wooooowww! [''laughs''] What the fuck are you talking about? I mean, I don't even know what the hell…

'''Chris:''' I eat and drink healthy.

'''Matthew:''' And you look like that. You don't even know what I just said, do you? You completely missed that I was, that little analogy back there.

'''Chris:''' No, no, I…

'''Matthew:''' Kacey says you eat [[McDonald's]]. You say you eat healthy, but you eat at McDonald's?

'''Chris:''' I have a, I have salads over at McDonald's. And I drink the lemonade over there.

'''Matthew:''' That lemonade is full of sugar. You know, [[Liquid|Chris]] is, Chris is fit, I've seen that man, he has rock-hard abs. That guy makes a Marine proud. And he can cook, he doesn't go to McDonald's because he doesn't need to.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can cook too! And sometimes I do cook!

'''Matthew:''' You know, he and Kacey like to go running together. Why don't you go running with Kacey, rather than sitting around eating fast food all day?

'''Chris:''' I do go out, I do go out for jogs, sir. I do go out jogging. And if Kacey was here I would be happy to go jogging with her. Or even running, I'd be happy to do that as well.

'''Matthew:''' You think you could do five miles like Kacey and Chris do? Five miles?

'''Chris:''' Yep!

'''Matthew:''' That's a brisk jog.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I could do five miles with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' Someone who looks like you can run five miles? I'm sorry, that's bullshit.

'''Chris:''' You're…[''angry sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' You look like you couldn't even do five seconds running. In fact, I was watching, I was watching those push-ups, you got winded after… that was thirty seconds of push-ups and you were sweating like a pig.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] Well, wouldn't you sweat?

'''Matthew:''' I don't… with that much…? Fuck, that's nothing.

'''Chris:''' WARRIORS, WARRIORS…

'''Matthew:''' I'm a Marine. Not after… a few push-ups like that? That's nothing. Okay, but… how much and how often do you jog? I sweat maybe… maybe after, I don't know, ten miles on a hot day.

'''Chris:''' I have been jogging for about fifteen minutes on a daily basis.

'''Matthew:''' Fifteen minutes. So you go… you go, what, a quarter of a mile and you call it quits? That's pussy shit. And that's just jogging. Kacey could run, Kacey runs for at least an hour.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's good.

'''Matthew:''' Five miles is like a two-hour jog, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a, I have a whole bunch of potential, I can run five miles with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' I would love to see that. I mean, why don't you? You can't… you say you could. You're just saying you have potential. That doesn't sell me. You can't sell me with "potential." Why don't you run five miles, and maybe, maybe I'll think otherwise.

'''Chris:''' It would be hard to video, to video-record five mile running. But I can run five miles, with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' You can?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I can! And I will the first chance I get!

'''Matthew:''' But why with Kacey, though, why can't you just do it on your own? You have a camera, don't you? It wouldn't be so hard to just hold a camera and run, would it? That's easily, easily do-able.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well…

'''Matthew:''' Why don't you just figure out how to do that? You said you're good with computers. I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a [[Wikipedia:Microsoft Windows|Windows]] is.

'''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?

'''Matthew:''' Don't… [''sputters'']… don't patronize me.

'''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?

'''Matthew:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that. I could figure out how to hold a camera and fuckin' run for five miles. That's… how could you not figure out how to do that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, think about this, do you think the batteries would be able to last five miles?

'''Matthew:''' Running? Shit. You're running, you're not jogging, it's not gonna take two hours.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, yeah, well… yeah, well, I can't…

'''Matthew:''' Besides, think of it as a time limit of some sort, you know? You gotta run fast enough so you can get all of it in before the batteries run out. That would take like… half an hour at most. Batteries last that long.

'''Chris:''' Alright, you want a half hour running? I'll be happy to do a half hour of running with my digital camera.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs''] Fine. Show me.

'''Chris:''' Alright, I will.

'''Matthew:''' Until then, until then, you are not good enough for Kacey. You are just a maggot.

'''Chris:''' Well. You may call me a maggot, but I'm a pretty dang strong one.

'''Matthew:''' I'm gonna go talk to Kacey, I gotta tell her, you do not deserve Kacey. Kacey lifts more than you, how does that feel? [[Power|The strong man]] outdone by a woman.

'''Chris:''' Well I may not feel pleasant, if that was the case, then I could not say I did not try.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' But I…

===Liquid Chris and Minimum Wage Jobs===
'''Matthew:''' While you're at it, you don't, you don't try, if you had tried you would have gotten out of your house, you would have gotten a job, you would have… you would be like [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Yeah, well, I am much stronger and I am much better than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' Oh, yes I am!

'''Matthew:''' But why don't you have, you don't have a job! You're not stronger than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]], you're not smarter than Chris.

'''Chris:''' I am stronger and I am smarter than Chris!

'''Matthew:''' You're not living on your own. How can you even say that? And he's younger than you!

'''Chris:''' I say that because it's true.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' You do not think so… you may not think so…

'''Matthew:''' I was so happy, when Kacey said she was going to marry [[Liquid Chris|Chris]]. But then, I don't know, he vanished or something, I don't know what happened…

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that would be the point where he made his video on [[YouTube]] where he pretended he was being kidnapped and then that's where he hid away for a number of, for a few months.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, and that devastated her. You don't know how much she missed him.

'''Chris:''' I do, I do, because she has shared that with me.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, I would much rather believe him…

'''Chris:''' She has shared that with me and I have comforted the her. I have emotionally supported her.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think she… she wasn't nearly that, I don't think she was nearly as happy as when the police finally called her about that. I think you're just trying to get, I think you're just trying to get my little Kacey for a booty call.

'''Chris:''' Believe me sir, it would not just be for a booty call, it would be for a strong relationship with all the loyalty and trust and honesty that a woman can ever want. [''shifts to a momentous tone, half under his breath''] EVER.

 '''Matthew:''' But you can't even move out. She needs a man, a man who can support himself and keep a job. You got fired from [[Wendy's]], most people quit because it sucks. You got FIRED. You weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Wendy's. What are you gonna do, what are you gonna do if she gets pregnant and she can't work?

'''Chris:''' If she gets pregnant and can't work, then I would be working. I would be working VERY HARD AND HEAVILY.

'''Matthew:''' What kind of job?

'''Chris:''' If I have to I would be, get one of the heavyweights, that just moves the boxes around the, stock the shelves at a grocery store. At the least. If not better.

'''Matthew:''' That makes minimum wage at best. That's not a real job. You know how much minimum wage is?

'''Chris:''' At the current rate, it's about $8 an hour.

'''Matthew:''' That's not good enough! Get a good job! You can't live off that! Especially after taxes.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I can get a good job, and I will.

'''Matthew:''' If you want to do lifting, you go work in a warehouse or something. And last I checked, minimum wage was $7.25.

'''Chris:''' [''takes a contemptuous tone''] Huh! You must have checked, no offense, but you must have checked like five years ago. [''In fact, [[Wikipedia:List of U.S. minimum wages|Matt is correct]].'']

'''Matthew:''' And how would you know? You don't have a job!

'''Chris:''' Because it was over five years ago, I was working for that minimum wage, and that was $7.50.

'''Matthew:''' That wasn't minimum wage.

'''Chris:''' Yes it was. And that was back at Wa-Wendy's!

'''Matthew:''' You know you can get paid more at jobs than minimum wage? I just looked it up right now, it says $7.25.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Maybe that's average minimum wage.

'''Matthew:''' Don't lie to me. Look…

'''Chris:''' I am not lying to you.

'''Matthew:''' Kacey, come on, Kacey, come over here, listen to this horseshit, ''listen to this horseshit''.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' What's wrong now, Daddy?

'''Matthew:''' What's this he's talking about… minimum wage is $7.25, right?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. It went up in July, I remember because it was around my birthday.

'''Matthew:''' This guy's lying again. Why is it… I'm looking right here on this webpage, that's exactly what it says.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it happened on July 24, that was like…

'''Matthew:''' Why does this guy keep lying to me? How do I know that anything he says is true?

'''Chris:''' I stand corrected! I stand corrected. On current minimum wage.

'''Matthew:''' Don't argue with me.

'''Chris:''' Alright.

===Respect and Listening Skills===
'''Kacey:''' Is he being disrespectful again, Daddy?

'''Matthew:''' He's always been… he's been disrespectful this whole time.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] I have not been lying!

'''Matthew:''' When Kacey says it, when Kacey says it you believe it now.

'''Kacey:''' I just don't understand.

'''Matthew:''' I don't understand either.

'''Chris:''' I can't say I'm in full understanding either.

'''Kacey:''' That doesn't even make sense. Like, I shouldn't have to pick up the other line and have to hear this. I mean, what are you doing, are you trying to sabotage this?

'''Chris:''' No. Just, throughout, throughout this whole conversation I have been telling the [[True and honest|honest truth]], from memory. As far as I know.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but this doesn't make sense. Like, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] charmed my dad within five minutes. Why are you still fighting with him? Why are you lying to my father?

'''Chris:''' I have not been lying to your father. I have been telling him the truth throughout my best and honest knowledge. From my heart and from my head.

'''Kacey:''' What are you wanting me to think, that you're dumb or something?

'''Chris:''' I… wh… no. [''pause''] I, I… [''drowned out by Kacey'']

'''Kacey:''' Well, then what's going on?! Why does my dad look so upset? I haven't seem him this upset in a long time.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can't read, I cannot read his mind, so…

'''Kacey:''' Well, no, no-one expects you to, but you could be respectful to him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, um, I mean, yeah, I was doing my best to be respectful. But then… and then he started, he started…

'''Kacey:''' My Dad is not going to lie to me, and obviously whenever I get on the phone you're calm and everything, so is something going on when I'm not on the phone? Like are you being two-faced?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation. I swear, hand to [[God]].

'''Kacey:''' You shouldn't do that, we don't swear to God, and my dad wouldn't lie to me.

'''Matthew:''' One-faced side of bullshit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he's been contradicting me, and talking to me in a negative way…

'''Kacey:''' Okay, you guys, I'm going to go. Talk nice.

'''Chris:''' I have been, I have been, I was talking nice. And then he started contradicting me with those words, like, yeah, and, uh, hm, and put, and putting me down, like even call, even call, even calling me a pussy, or, among other things. And then that, and then that just… grinded my gears.

'''Matthew:''' You know, Kacey is gone. She's not listening right now. She didn't hear anything you just said.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Portal Turret:''' Target lost.

'''Matthew:''' Stop [[sigh]]ing so much.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm speechless at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' Didn't you just hear, she… hear her say she was getting off?

'''Chris:''' Uhh… hear her say she was getting off?

'''Matthew:''' Do you pay attention to anything? Ever? To the words that I am saying?

'''Chris:''' I, I'm, I do pay attention. But I, I did not hear "I'm getting off."

'''Matthew:''' This is… this, do you even listen to her at all? How can you be a good boyfriend? You don't listen to anything.

'''Chris:''' I, I do, I do listen! And I, and ob-, obviously, she must have said it in a quiet tone, because I did not hear it. [''Actually, Chris was talking over her at the time, but never mind.'']

'''Matthew:''' But this is… she was pretty upset. She wasn't that quiet.

'''Chris:''' W… well, I'm sorry she's upset.

'''Matthew:''' And now, what I'm saying right now, is that before you can say you are better than Chris, you need to get a job, you need to move out from your parents, you need to be independent. You need to show me that you're a man. And you… you also have to have the ability to not lie to me. I'm getting all tongue-tied, because… just… you don't know how frustrating this is. I mean, I haven't done that in years.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I agree with you, this is frustrating.

'''Matthew:''' And you are lucky her mother isn't here.

'''Chris:''' And I pro-, and I send… I promise you. I have not been lying.

'''Matthew:''' How is this, how is this frustrating to you? You sound like you just have the easiest life in the world.

'''Chris:''' Because, because, because, because you're, because you're frustrated, and your frustration is reflecting onto me and it's making me feel frustrated. It's making me feel frustrated.

===Chris's Pathetic Life and Diseased Ticker===
'''Matthew:''' You sit around… what are you going to do after this? You're gonna go home, you're gonna go play [[video games]] again or something?

'''Chris:''' No…

'''Matthew:''' Nobody can get you to do anything. Play your [[Pokemon|Pokeymans]], watch [[TV]]. Sleep. Eat [[McDonald's]]. That's, that's your life.

'''Chris:''' That is not my life.

'''Matthew:''' Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' It's a lot, it's a lot more than that. I do a lot more than…

'''Matthew:''' Oh, yeah, I forgot, you do chores, too.

'''Chris:''' See, this, you know, this is why I was talking to Kacey about…

'''Matthew:''' You talk and you get angry at people on the Internet who you've never seen before.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, see, right now you're just… you're just saying some, saying some of the things that sit aside from the good for me, honest, from, aside from the good things, yeah, everything I've said, I have been, I have been very honest about, and you're just taking the bad pieces that can, you're just taking some of that honesty and you're just reflecting it onto me and, you're just making it sound bad. Like it's a bad thing. And that makes me feel bad.

'''Matthew:''' It IS a bad thing. What good qualities do you have that aren't LIES? You started this whole relationship on a lie. My daughter doesn't deserve that. And now you're blaming me for all this that's going on.

'''Matthew:'''/font> Yes, I can! And I will the first chance I get!

font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''3FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna, could you just, look, okay, well, you did not let me say that…

'''Matthew:''' You just met me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, I'm talking to you over the phone, that is [''dissolves into gibberish momentarily'']…

'''Matthew:''' You don't… it just sounds like you don't want to admit any of your faults. You just…

'''Chris:''' I am, I am happy to admit my faults.

'''Matthew:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Okay, well, for one, sometimes, I don't think things through and I make, end up in the decision I thought was good at first may end up being the bad decision.

'''Matthew:''' O… kay?

'''Chris:''' But yeah, I have been improving on that and thinking things through fully. Making sure that…

'''Matthew:''' Everyone does that, everyone, you know, makes a mistake every now and then. Okay?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well…

'''Matthew:''' Let's start with something easy. Let's tell me… Tell me… How about you admit that you're, well, okay, I'll just say it. [[Obesity|FAT]]. And lazy.

'''Chris:''' {{anchor|Buddha belly}}Okay, well, I admit I do have a Buddha belly, but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy.

'''Matthew:''' Doesn't show at all. How often do you watch TV? And you said you jog for fifteen minutes. That's… that's not gonna burn calories.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'm working up to thirty minutes.

'''Matthew:''' Thirty minutes. And compared to… how does this compare to how much TV you watch?

'''Chris:''' For your information, I watch only about four hours of television.

'''Matthew:''' Four hours of television.

'''Chris:''' In a day.

'''Matthew:''' A day. That… I don't think that's true. That just doesn't sound, you kinda paused right there? You sound like you actually had to think about it for a second. I don't think that's true.

'''Chris:''' Well, when I had to count it up, I did have to think about it. But yes, it is true, I watch four hours of television in a day.

'''Matthew:''' Four hours, that's still quite a bit, hasn't Kacey told you anything about how important it is to take care of yourself?

'''Chris:''' Yes, we have, we have talked about that. And I have listened to her about that, and I have been taking the appropriate steps and abiding with her words in mind and heeding her advice as such.

'''Matthew:''' Really… Because she's still pretty worried about you, she says. She think something's gonna happen to you, you know. She thinks it's not looking good. And didn't she, she told me you were on [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]]?

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, I know about that stuff. That's something people my age take. I don't take it myself, but I know people who do.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, for your information, my doctor got me off, took me off Lipitor a couple of months ago.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' I still don't think you… You still don't sound like you're terribly healthy. Okay, watching TV aside, and you play video games, how long do you do that a day, huh? I mean, with how much you sit around, your metabolism must not be so hot.

'''Chris:''' How long… Do I sit around? I would not say that I sit around that much. I would say…

'''Matthew:''' And play… Okay, how much do you play video games?

'''Chris:''' About two hours in a day.

'''Matthew:''' Two hours a day.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so that's at least six hours you spend sitting around doing absolutely nothing in your room. That's a quarter of a day. In six hours you could have worked a part-time job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I, but, the time I do not spend in front of the television is the time I spend exercising. That's about half of the day.

'''Matthew:''' You do not spend half of a day exercising. If you spent half a day exercising, you would have at least lost that little [[Wikipedia:Budai|Buddha belly]] and those man-tits of yours.

'''Chris:''' Okay, now I'm feeling insulted with those, with what you just said there.

'''Matthew:''' And you just told me fifteen minutes, so you're lying again.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, maybe, yeah, well, fifteen minutes jogging, upon the pacing of the spacing of the jogging.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so you don't even run fifteen minutes altogether, at one time?

'''Chris:''' It's fifteen, they're, fifteen minutes, they're fifteen-minute intervals, like I do fifteen minutes in one hour, then the next hour I do another fifteen minutes of jogging.

'''Matthew:''' But that doesn't help you at all. All that… That means there's 45 minutes of you doing nothing every hour. By then your heart rate has gone down, the exercise is gonna do nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' My heart rate has been, has been good.

'''Matthew:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I can guarantee that.

'''Matthew:''' Do you even know what you're talking about?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I do, I am talking…

'''Matthew:''' Do you even know how to check your heart rate?

'''Chris:''' Yes I do.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, how?

'''Chris:''' I put my fingers on my pulse, count the number of beats through ten seconds, and then I multiply by six. That's, that's…

'''Matthew:''' Where do you check for your pulse?

'''Chris:''' Put two fingers on my wrist or on my neck. Or put it on my chest where my heart is.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what's a good heart rate for you?

'''Chris:''' About seventy-two beats per minute.

'''Matthew:''' Seventy-two beats per minute.

'''Chris:''' To about a hundred beats per minute.

'''Matthew:''' Uh-huh. So what's your heart rate right now?

'''Chris:''' Alright… [''long silence''] Alright, let me find that… yeah. It's approximately, it is approximately eighty-four right now.

'''Matthew:''' Eighty-four from just sitting around?

'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I've been listening. Chris, that's a serious medical condition. What are you talking about? Normally your heart doesn't beat that fast unless you've done exercise.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Kacey:''' That's like [[Wikipedia:arrhythmia|arrhythmia]] or [[Wikipedia:tachycardia|tachycardia]]. What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, right, you know, well, I did get a little bit of [[stress]] from some of the conversation.

'''Kacey:''' Stress doesn't do that. That's like a serious medical condition. And I heard you talk to my dad, you don't listen to anything I say when I worry about you. You still go to [[McDonald's]], and I told you those salads aren't healthy. I bet you haven't even lost one pound. Don't you care that I think you're gonna die? [''Chris stammers briefly in response''] That you're probably going to lose motion in your body if you don't exercise enough? This is important to me!

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It is.

'''Kacey:''' What're you going to do? You're gonna die before you're thirty.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hm. [''pause, then sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' Hmph.

'''Kacey:''' If anything, that means you have way too much caffeine in your system. If you have something that high. That's either, you can get that from smoking, from too much fat, from too much caffeine…

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' [''Her voice breaks, on the verge of crying.''] It's like you don't even care! Dad was right, you are being disrespectful!

'''Chris:''' [''Attempting to sound empathetic''] Kacey, I do care. [''sigh''] Even though, even though it may not, even though it may shot 'n I've shot, I do care. Believe me.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. Because it's that hard for you to stop going to McDonald's. But you've still been going. Right?

'''Chris:''' I have been going less.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like I didn't… Less is not none! Fast food is bad! Period at the end!

'''Chris:''' [''On the defensive''] Yeah, but that was like once a week! Once in a week!

'''Kacey:''' Once a week is bad! Don't eat any! None!

'''Chris:''' Alright, I won't go there anymore. I won't go [[McDonald's]] anymore.

'''Kacey:''' Or any fast food!

'''Chris:''' Alright. I will not go to any fast food, I…

'''Kacey:''' Whatever. It's not like you haven't lied to me before. You're just probably lying to me now. Dad, I can't deal with this anymore…

'''Chris:''' I'M NOT LYING TO YOU! I promise you! I promise you! I promise you, Kacey. I promise you.

'''Matthew:''' She's gone again.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

===Chris Blows It, but He's an American!===
'''Matthew:''' She was pretty, ah… let's say you just blew it, man. She was— She was crying right there. You just fuckin' blew it. Big-time.

'''Chris:''' [''deep sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' I just heard the door slam. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes and calls Chris.

'''Chris:''' Hmph. Well…

'''Matthew:''' What do you have to say for yourself? [''Long silence ensues'']

'''Chris:''' Well, all I can say is… that's your opinion, and you have every right to your own opinion.

'''Matthew:''' It's not my opinion. It just happened. What the hell are you talking about? I'm talking about facts.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you're talking about— Yes, you are talking about facts, but you have expressed a whole bunch of your own opinions about what you've heard from me the whole conversation.

'''Matthew:''' And that's all you have to say about the fact that you just upset my daughter? What are you…

'''Chris:''' That's my response— That's my response about you, but as for Kacey, you know, I just feel— I just feel very sad for her.

'''Matthew:''' I don't care what you have to say about me. This is about— You should care about Kacey, not me! You have to do something big.

'''Chris:''' I care about Kacey. I really, truly do.

'''Matthew:''' Okay. But if you want my opinion right now, I think you should stay away from my daughter. Unless you really, ''really'' turn around your life. You're not even close to Chris right now. You have to do something big to get her back. You have to get a job, at the very least. Lose, I dunno, fifty pounds. Move out. Then I might consider you, ''maybe''.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' And you have to keep your promises, because she says you never do.

'''Chris:''' I do keep my promises.

'''Matthew:''' And I think she should be with her [[Liquid Chris|real fiancé]] right now. [''Long silence''] I mean, he treats her like a princess. You treat her like… a set of tits and ass.

'''Chris:''' No, I treat her like a princess as well. I treat her, more importantly… as a friend… a true friend, a good friend…

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't sound like it at all.

'''Chris:''' You don't know. I mean…

'''Matthew:''' I do know, because she talks to me.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well… points of view.

'''Matthew:''' I can't even stand your voice. So whiny, all this sighing, it's like a baby. You'll never be as good as Chris at this rate.

'''Chris:''' I am a lot better than Chris. [[Autism|Belieeeeeeeeve me.]]

'''Matthew:''' You're not even a functioning human. You're leeching off my government.

'''Chris:''' I have a functioning image…

'''Matthew:''' I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this?

'''Chris:''' I… am an [[United_States_of_America|''American'']]! I am proud to be an American and [[I_AM_STRONG|I am ''strong'']]. I am an individual…

[''Portal'' can again be heard faintly in the background]

'''Matthew:''' Don't tell— Don't tell me you're an American.

[''Portal'' can again be heard]

'''Chris:''' I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.

'''Matthew:''' You can't tell me you're patriotic… if you were patriotic, you wouldn't even have thought about making that video, that [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 video]]. I still can't believe why you made that. It doesn't matter. You don't… do that! You're not acting like a patriot, you're acting more like a terrorist.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry I gave off that impression. At least I— At least I was man enough to admit I was wrong and I am. I did my best to undo the mistake by deleting my video and making the apology.

'''Matthew:''' You know, Chris and Kacey are Americans, too. And "sorry" doesn't undo the fact that you made that video.

===Love and Memories===
'''Chris:''' It may not, but at least I admitted I was wrong. And it takes a man to admit when he is wrong.

'''Matthew:''' And you still made it. You… you're not a man. Stop trying to call yourself a man. I mean, it takes a real man to change, and you haven't.

'''Chris:''' I do change my habits. I have been changing my habits. And I have been better from the habits I have changed.

'''Matthew:''' That's a lie. You haven't done shit.

'''Chris:''' I… I have done a lot more than you can, than you are thinking right now. Or that you could ever think at this moment.

'''Matthew:''' You said you stopped at a McDonald's, and you didn't… That's such a simple little thing, and you still lied about it. You can't stop eating fast food. What makes you think you can turn around and get a job and stop leeching off the government? And stop lying to Kacey?

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] Because… I am me, I have faith in me, and I am strong within myself.

'''Matthew:''' I bet you don't even love Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey!

'''Matthew:''' I bet if Kacey left you right now, right this very moment, you would… [[CWC is Sad|you'd probably cry]], for maybe just a couple seconds, then you'd go out and find another girl on the Internet.

'''Chris:''' [[The Wallflower|No!]]

'''Matthew:''' Wouldn't you? And even if you do love Kacey, you don't love Kacey nearly as much as Chris loves Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey, truly and deeply. And I care about her, about that much, probably more.

'''Matthew:''' And so does Chris, and he can prove it, so why don't you? You can't even stop eating McDonald's for her.

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] I can so prove it, and I will.

'''Matthew:''' God. You know, he knows her favorite color, and her favorite flower. I'm sure you don't.

'''Chris:''' Her favorite color is "tarquoise".

'''Matthew:''' Turquoise? That's… that's wrong.

'''Chris:''' It's a blue-green shade. ''[Chris is correct here, at least. On his [http://pastebin.com/8FxWDZq6 creepy date] with Kacey, she said her favorite color was [[Wikipedia:Teal (color)|teal]].]''

'''Matthew:''' Okay, favorite flower.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I cannot say that I, I cannot say that I remember her favorite flower at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' Aha. Really.

'''Chris:''' It could have been maybe because she did not mention her favorite flower yet. But she did tell me her favorite color. It was a shade, it was a blue-green shade. So turquoise is ''close''.

'''Matthew:''' Can you remember anything? Okay, I bet you don't even remember some of the stuff I just said today. You probably don't even remember who in my family dies in 9/11, do you? I just said that, what, half an hour ago?

'''Chris:''' You, you said that your daughter, that your daughter was giving blood in New York, right by the 9/11 site.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, but who DIED, who of my family died in 9/11?

'''Chris:''' The grandma.

'''Matthew:''' My grandma?

'''Chris:''' Her grandmother.

'''Matthew:''' Who is?

'''Chris:''' You did not mention her name.

'''Matthew:''' No… [''exasperated sigh'']… no, okay, her grandmother, who is ''my''…?

'''Chris:''' Your mother.

'''Matthew:''' How long did that just take you? Good boy! God, this is just like talking to a preschooler.

===Crossing the Naïve Line (1:46:21-1:52:41)===
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, talking to a what?

'''Matthew:''' A preschooler. God. This is… Man. You can't have Kacey, with this kind of, this is just ridiculous. I can't believe I'm talking to someone who's so… [[naïve]].

'''Chris:''' [''angry intake of breath''] You just crossed a line. You just crossed a line. By saying the word "naïve." That is like the worst insult to me…

'''Matthew:''' What line?

'''Chris:''' 'A line'… you crossed the line. You've just… you just really ticked me off right there when you said that.

'''Matthew:''' What're you gonna do about it?

'''Chris:''' Nothing at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' "Nothing at the moment?"

'''Chris:''' Because I can't really do anything, I'm not right there in front of you, now, am I? I'm talking to you over the phone. The only thing I could do right now is let you know that you just crossed a line. By saying that word.

'''Matthew:''' Are you… wait, wait, wait a minute, are you trying to [[Death threats|threaten]] me? You trying to threaten an ex-Marine?

'''Chris:''' No, I… no, I am not threatening you, I am not threatening you. I am in no position to threaten an ex-Marine. And I understand that, and I respect you as such.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what are you saying? I could whoop your naïve little ass with my pinky if I wanted to. Kacey could whoop your ass! I'm surprised she hasn't already.

'''Chris:''' Well. I would be able to defend myself.

'''Matthew:''' So you would hit Kacey?

'''Chris:''' No, I would not hit Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Have you ever defended yourself?

'''Chris:''' I have defended myself.

'''Matthew:''' [''exhales in disbelief''] I'm sure that was something to see. Have you… I mean, I'm sure, I can see what would just happen. She'd probably try to throw a punch and you'd just bounce her off with your Buddha belly. Or so you call it.

'''Chris:''' I would either step to one side or block it with an arm!

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs''] That little limp-wristed twig of yours? You're pretty big, but you've got some pretty scrawny arms. And you're a pretty big target, she'd be… pretty hard to miss you. I've seen her punches.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think you'd be able to react fast enough.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you have not seen how I can, how fast I can react.

'''Matthew:''' You can't even react fast enough to what I'm saying.

'''Chris:''' Because I'd like to spell-check, and make sure I'm not making any mistakes. Make sure that my mind and my mouth are in sync.

'''Matthew:''' Making… mistakes…?

'''Chris:''' My mouth does not go faster than my mind.

'''Matthew:''' What are you even…?

'''Chris:''' That's another, that is another one of my flaws, I am willing to admit. Sometimes my mouth goes faster than my brain.

'''Matthew:''' Well, I bet that's not the [[Slow-in-the-minds|only thing that goes faster than your brain]]. Are you trying to say you're some kind of computer or something? But this is, you're getting completely off the point. So tell me why, exactly, you aren't naïve? Why is this crossing the line so much?

'''Chris:''' Because it's insulting my intelligence.

'''Matthew:''' What line did I cross exactly?

'''Chris:''' And I do not appreciate that. You made me feel… [[Chris and anger|anger]].

'''Matthew:''' Because you haven't proven your intelligence to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though most of the time I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.

'''Matthew:''' Okay… here's how intelligent you really are, and that's because being naïve has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence.

'''Chris:''' Look it up in the dictionary.

'''Matthew:''' I have looked it up in the dictionary. It has nothing to do with intelli… What are you talking about? What dictionary are you looking in?

'''Chris:''' Webster's.

'''Matthew:''' Webster's. You know, I'm sure, if you think naïve has to do with… I'm sure your "[[autism]]" is just some sort of blanket term for "retarded" for you. Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments. But I am certainly not ''totally'' retarded.

'''Matthew:''' No. I'm looking at my dictionary, you know what "naïve" means? It means "inexperienced." Not "unintelligent." I shouldn't be calling you naïve, I should just be calling you a dumbass. But you are naïve as well.

===Experience and Respect===
'''Chris:''' I've got a lot more experience than you could imagine.

'''Matthew:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I have had twenty-seven years of experience.

'''Matthew:''' With what? Eating [[McDonald's]] and watching [[TV]]? Son, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] is younger than you, and he has had far more experiences than you have. And I've had fifty-two years of experience.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, how about being pinned down by three teachers, a guidance counselor, and an elementary school… prinstapull… and having your screams and cries recorded on audiotape like a torture chamber?

'''Matthew:''' The hell are you talking about?

'''Chris:''' And have, I was pretty much in that situation there in, back in the fourth grade. They were scared of, scared of…

'''Matthew:''' What did you do, some kind of temper tantrum?

'''Chris:''' No, they were scared of me. They did not understand autism.

'''Matthew:''' So, what, you just had some kind of retard panic attack and they didn't know what to do?

'''Chris:''' I… it was not a retard! No… It was not! They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. I even ended up with a rash on my neck from that thing, among other things! And we had to fight the school system, they wanted to put me in a [[Nathanael_Greene_Elementary_School#The_.22institution.22|mental institution]]! But that was not…

'''Matthew:''' Because you NEED HELP. That's probably where you belong! And you call the other, you call Chris crazy… This is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' I do not belong in a mental… If I had gone to a mental institution, I would not have graduated high school or gotten my certificate and degree in [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]]. I've moved up from what you would consider a retarded state of mind.

'''Matthew:''' I know retards with college degrees. They probably felt sorry for you. They probably just kinda let you through, that's probably what happened.

'''Chris:''' [''angry stress sigh, or perhaps spluttering with rage'']

'''Matthew:''' You know schools do that. And those other, I call them retards, but really, they're pretty good people. They actually did something with their degrees, believe it or not. People with Down's syndrome have done more than you. And that degree has done nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' It has done a lot, it has done a lot for me. It's given me the whole bunch of computer experience and potential that I have. And I will get an office job, and I will move out of this house, and I will run five miles!

'''Matthew:''' But you haven't done any of that. If you're gonna say it, then do it.

'''Chris:''' I would not be saying it if I was not going to do it. That is a promise.

'''Matthew:''' You better do it before Kacey runs back to a real man.

'''Chris:''' Okay then.

'''Matthew:''' Because I'm thinking that's going to happen pretty soon here. 27 years and you haven't changed.

'''Chris:''' Well, she did, she and I did not meet twenty-seven years ago, she and I met a few months ago.

'''Matthew:''' And you… and you haven't, she wasn't alive twenty-seven years ago. That doesn't even make any sense.

'''Chris:''' Well, what you said there a moment ago equally did not make much sense either. That was like you were implying, like as if she actually knew me my whole twenty-seven years.

'''Matthew:''' This is insulting to my intelligence, talking to you. You've shown me nothing but disrespect.

'''Chris:''' I have, I have…

'''Matthew:''' I'm sure you show Kacey hardly any more respect than you show me. I've been trying to open your eyes here.

'''Chris:''' I have shown you respect from the lot, for a while during the conversation.

'''Matthew:''' This is the kind of respect you show me, I would hate to see the kind of respect you show Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I show Kacey a lot of respect.

'''Matthew:''' You probably don't even respect her as a person…

'''Chris:''' I do res… I do respect her as a person!

===Chris is Creepy and Bad at Dating===
'''Matthew:''' You know, her sister said you kept trying to touch her when you met her.

'''Chris:''' Because I was nervous at the time!

'''Matthew:''' You were NERVOUS? What the hell kind of response is that? You're nervous, so you try to touch, so you try to touch a girl? What the hell? That's… that's… that's just sick! That's my daughter, you're trying to touch a girl, you're trying to touch my daughter because you're nervous? Most people try to avoid touching people when they're nervous. Gah, I can't believe I just heard that, I should come and [[Kick the Autistic|kick your ass right now]]!

'''Chris:''' I only touched her shoulder! I thought it was a friend gesture!

'''Matthew:''' Her shoulder? You know, that didn't… I heard otherwise, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry too.

'''Matthew:''' Did you try to kiss her?

'''Chris:''' No!

'''Matthew:''' Bullshit. She told her sister about what you did. I know. Are you telling me that Kacey lied?

'''Chris:''' I am not saying that. I am not saying that.

'''Matthew:''' You trying to tell me that… I heard you did all kinds of other weird shit. You tried to sniff her or something?

'''Chris:''' She was sharing her perfumes with me.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' She wanted my, she wanted my opinion on which perfume smelled better.

'''Matthew:''' She gave it to you, she said she gave it to you in the bottle first. You could have just opened the bottle and sniffed, you didn't have to sniff ''her'' to do it. That's a little creepy.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, she wanted the perfume, she wanted me to give an honest opinion about… on her.

'''Matthew:''' You did it in front of her and her friend. Have you ever done this before? Is this something you do when you meet girls?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, could you, could you, ah, repeat that?

'''Matthew:''' Have you… have you ever done this before, to another girl?

'''Chris:''' Mm… Yeah, well, we've been talking about the sniffing thing. I just want to make sure I understand what we're talking about here.

'''Matthew:''' Yes… anything, any of this creepy… shit. This touching, this kissing, that I've been told you try to do.

'''Chris:''' Well… first off I can definitely, honestly say that I have not kissed a girl yet…

'''Matthew:''' TRIED.

'''Chris:''' [[Emily#Kiss_fail|Or even tried to]].

'''Matthew:''' ''Really''?

'''Chris:''' Truly.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, I don't believe, I don't believe a word of that. How many dates have you even been on?

'''Chris:''' In my lifetime? [[Two's company snapshots|Only one]].

'''Matthew:''' Only one.

'''Chris:''' And this was a few months ago. Before I met Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Before you met Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' And how did that turn out? How did she act towards you? What did she think of you?

'''Chris:''' It turned out that girl just wasn't all that into me.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, Kacey met you around August, that was a couple of months ago. So how far along was this?

'''Chris:''' That one date was back in, was last June.

'''Matthew:''' And now why exactly do you think she wasn't interested in you?

'''Chris:''' I don't know. I am not a mind-reader.

'''Matthew:''' So you can't think of a single reason why she might not have been interested in you?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I can honestly say that I cannot.

'''Matthew:''' You can't think of… I can think of a couple reasons right off the bat, why a girl would not have been into you. I don't even need to think about it. I mean… I mean, you can't even take them on a real date.

'''Chris:''' I took her on a real date. I took her to [[Wikipedia:Applebee's|Applebee's]], and I paid for her, for what she ate and what she drank there.

'''Matthew:''' You paid for her. And how much was that?

'''Chris:''' That was about $10.

'''Matthew:''' $10.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' That's… $10 for dinner. Are you sure you just didn't go to McDonald's again?

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] No, this was APPLEBEE'S. And Kim was there, she could the same, she could tell you the same thing.

'''Matthew:''' So where would you take Kacey? She's a pretty high-class girl. I'm sure you probably didn't even tip.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I did not understand the second half of that sentence, after you said "Kacey is a high-class girl."

'''Matthew:''' I said you probably didn't even tip. So where exactly are you going to take Kacey?

'''Chris:''' Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, I did tip.

'''Matthew:''' You even know how much you're supposed to tip.

'''Chris:''' About 15% or 20%.

'''Matthew:''' So how much did you tip, then, if you paid $10?

'''Chris:''' I tipped a buck fifty.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' That's still pretty cheap. You know, Kacey probably wouldn't like that if you tipped her that much. You know she's a waitress, right? Tips are pretty important to waitresses.

'''Chris:''' Yep, I understand that, tips are important. But still, 15% of $10 is a dollar fifty.

'''Matthew:''' That's true. Okay, so how much would you tip if you paid, say, $80 for dinner? Which is very possible, if you go to the kind of places Kacey likes to go.

'''Chris:''' Hm… let's see… That would be about $12.

'''Matthew:''' So you would pay just $12, you wouldn't go up to, like, you wouldn't even just toss them a twenty or something? Can you even do math?

'''Chris:''' Well, I cannot say that my family is of the high-class, hoity-toity, rich type, type of people. We are on average income.

'''Matthew:''' You could at least… They're not rich either. They still left a twenty.

'''Chris:''' Well… good for them.

'''Matthew:''' You're not even on an income. Income would be, like, you actually have a job. Man, Chris treats her so much better than you, shows her so much more respect.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I give you respect throughout the beginning of the conversation.

'''Matthew:''' You've given me nothing.

'''Chris:''' And then, and then, I started to feel insulted, from being, from being talked down about, about the things I've talked about. And that she told you, like about the McDonald's and the video games and that sort of thing, when I am so much better than that.

'''Matthew:''' And I have not seen any of this, because it probably doesn't exist.

'''Chris:''' It does exist.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, telling the truth isn't, it's not made of Pokeymans and all that.

'''Chris:''' It is not.

'''Matthew:''' And how are you better than all this? You're doing exactly, you're doing just that, talking about stupid fucking Pokeymans and shit. That's all I'm really getting about you. You do nothing but exactly what you've said.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, what can you…

'''Matthew:''' You need to be better. Not say you could be better.

'''Chris:''' At least I am HONEST when I say I could be better. At least I don't go around lying, pretending that I am an astronaut.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] You're not. You're not being honest.

'''Chris:''' No, I have been honest. Otherwise I would have said that I was an astronaut, but that would be lying. And I have not been lying this conversation.

'''Matthew:''' Would have been a pretty bad lie, too.

'''Chris:''' I know, but that's just an example off the top of my head at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' You don't even have the eyes to be an astronaut, I mean, c'mon. You don't have the weight. You especially don't have the weight.

===What Are You Gonna Do Now?===
'''Chris:''' [''Long silence''] Well… I'll just say that this has been a most experiencing conversation, and I wish you a pleasant evening. Take care, Mr. Devoria, and stay safe. And please give my most fondest regards to Kacey as well. I love her and I care about her very much.

'''Matthew:''' Don't you hang up on me. When did I say that this conversation was over?

'''Chris:''' Well. You could say the insult, I'm getting tired of insults, I feel like I need to go, I feel like I need to go take a shower, and get ready to sleep. We are in the same time zone, it's ten after two right now.

'''Matthew:''' Actually, you know, that's fine, you can go whine and weasel your way out of this. You don't even deserve my daughter. What are you gonna do after this, what are you going to do tomorrow? Are you going to get up, sleep, you're going to get up and play video games again. That's… that's…

'''Chris:''' I am not, I will not be that way, I am going to get up and I'm going to be finding a job in the office. And I am going to be jogging for fifteen to thirty minutes.

'''Matthew:''' I don't believe… You know what Kacey's gonna do? She's gonna go to school, and she's gonna call Chris back. That's what she's gonna do.

'''Chris:''' [''Snide and superior''] Well, that's what you think she's gonna do. You do not control her.

'''Matthew:''' And you know why she's gonna do that? It's because she, because he's the one she wants. You know that song that she made for Chris? She made it for him. Not you. You know that song, that [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|"Whole New World,"]] from that Disney movie? She made that for him.

'''Chris:''' No, she told me she made that for me.

'''Matthew:''' Oh, no she didn't.

'''Chris:''' Oh yes she did!

'''Matthew:''' I think I know my daughter a little better than you do.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'll have to check with her on that.

'''Matthew:''' He even sang it for her! I mean, what really made you think it was for you?

'''Chris:''' Because she told me so herself!

'''Matthew:''' She told ME that she made it for him. Unless you're saying she's lying.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not saying she's lying, because…

'''Matthew:''' And I saw that video. You didn't even know the lyrics to that song. You had to look it up. I could see the paper in your hand. And you had to sing over the words, you didn't even get the karaoke version or something. How could you possibly have known the lyrics?

'''Chris:''' I have watched the [[Wikipedia:Aladdin (film)|''Aladdin'']] movie a whole number of times. I would say greater than ten times. In my lifetime. At this point.

'''Matthew:''' And you know how I know that was made for him, and not you? Because that song was their song. They know it by HEART. And that has always been their song.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' You know they were going to sing it to each other at their wedding?

'''Chris:''' [''More silence''] I see.

'''Matthew:''' Well, this, this is really… this has really been enlightening. Learning about just how unworthy a person can be for my daughter. How much of a… I have to congratulate you, though, because you totally did a great job at getting Kacey and Chris back together. [''pause'']

'''Kacey:''' [''bursting in''] Seriously, Chris, how could you?!

'''Matthew:''' [''cracks the fuck up'']

'''Kacey:''' You've been so insulting to my father, and everything…di, uh… Chris would never have done this! Maybe I did make a wrong decision! [''stutters''] I don't think I can do this.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' Maybe I was thinking of him all along, maybe I just displaced things. Just, I can't believe you would do this. You--yo--I was crying, and all you did was argue with my father. You didn't even care enough to check on me, or see if you could talk to me, Chris would never have done that. Chris would have demanded to talk to me right away and he would have calmed me down. [''pause''] And I mean, obviously you misunderstood me.

'''Chris:''' I guess… maybe I… did.

'''Kacey:''' You know what? I don't want you. I don't want this, I don't need this right now. I have so much going on with finals and everything, and this is the way you're going to act? Yeah. My father's right. You're going to have to do something HUGE. I mean, you can't even work on the comic you promised me, you made me a stupid ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' thing. Where the hell's the comic, Chris? You know what? You probably still won't make it. So, you know what? I-I can't do this. You need to totally reform your life. [''pause''] I mean, Chris would have come by. He would have driven the 2 hours just to comfort me once he heard I was crying.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, if I knew where you were I would have driven 2 hours as well. But I did not know…

'''Kacey:''' You know you won't! You always want me to come to you. It's stupid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean… yeah, I would have asked, I mean, I did ask you for your address, but then… and I did ask you for your phone number.

'''Kacey:''' And I told you that you can't get it until you get my parents to trust you because you know they're overprotective! And you think this is the way you do it?! I bet you're not even gonna finish the comic! You can't even finish it tonight. Or anything. You can't do anything.

'''Chris:''' I can so.

'''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you're not motivated enough, because you haven't done anything like that. Like, you've promised me a song a long time ago, never got it. Chris has written me, like, 3 songs. You promised me tons of things, you never keep your promises. You just sit around playing video games, you made a stupid ''LittleBigPlanet'' thing for me. I mean, come on. All I wanted was the damn comic, all I wanted was you just to pay attention. You don't even pick up the phone anymore because of the trolls, because of the stress! I can't do this. I want a real man. [''long pause''] And thi--you can't even say anything. Dad, I think you're totally right.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah. Don't tell him where we live, I don't want my name and number, I don't want him to know my name and number.

'''Kacey:''' See?! Look what you done, Chris. Look what you've done! [''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like you're gonna do anything to make up for it. So you know what? I don't even care. Dad, you can do whatever, that's--thi--that's all he can say, I'm done.

'''Matthew:''' I don't know, I don't think I want to get in trouble…

'''Kacey:''' He's not, Chris, screw this.

'''Matthew:''' I don't want to get in trouble for beating the shit out of this faggot anyway.

'''Kacey:''' [''long pause''] I'm gonna go, this is too much for me. You can finish this off, Dad.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry. [''typing and long pause''] I would like to say… good evening.

'''Matthew:''' [''long pause''] Ssssso... what are you gonna do now?

[''Tape runs out'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 24]]|nextlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

==External links==
*[https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6mRSOBYFcaBNloweEFQOElEdjA/edit?usp=sharing Link to MP3 on Google Drive]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ddn91nknqahn87a mp3 of phone call]
*Audio ripped & combined from YouTube vids in [http://db.tt/vNbYguZ0 OGG] or [http://db.tt/akLWEieq MP3]
*Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jhp5WyvPWNI the call on YouTube]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]