CWCki - User contributions [en]

Giant Penis Comic

2017-02-08T14:27:34Z

RedVine01: /* Gallery */

{{DeadLinks}}
{{honest}}
The '''Giant Penis Comic''' (officially '''''Sonichu'' Comic Special 3''', also known colloquially as '''PENIS COMIC''' in the [[Audiobooks]] adaptation) is a short comic drawn by [[Chris]], depicting his [[Chris and sex|wedding night]] with [[Ivy]]. It was hacked and published by [[The Miscreants]] on [[April 2009|29 April 2009]]. Besides being a true masterpiece of romance and artistic integrity, it's also notable for having a probable outline of Chris's [[Duck|penis]]. Shakespeare would be proud.

{{quote|I specifically wanted him to make an accurate depiction of his dick in the wedding comic because I worried he'd hide the bend. To comply with this request he traced his penis to cut down on effort (and staring).|Ivy's response to a question in [[Ivy Q&A]]}}

==Story==
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|The Giant Penis in question.]]

Following the events of Chris and Ivy's [[Wedding Comic|wedding]], Chris meets with Ivy's father [[Officer Keino]] who, it is worth noting, looks eerily like [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off#Home_movies|coach John McGuirk]] from [[Adult Swim]]'s [[Wikipedia:Home Movies (TV series)|''Home Movies'']]. Chris immediately begins brown-nosing his new father-in-law, displaying the utmost respect to both the man and the uniform. (This is especially hilarious considering Chris's issues with [[Jerkops]], and [[Bagget]] in particular.) Keino launches into a speech about what a great man Chris is and how he admires the tribulations our hero has endured. He entrusts Ivy to Chris's "[[Mass debating|strong, capable hands]]," which makes no sense, as usually the father of the bride gives his blessing ''before'' the wedding; instead we have Keino granting Chris permission to fuck his daughter (because who wouldn't want to read a porn comic that had their father in it?)

We then see Chris and Ivy checking into the Double-CWC Hotel (A [[Random-access humor|pun]] on the phrase ''double quick'', and confirming that we are indeed still in [[CWCville]]), where Chris has reserved a luxurious penthouse suite (even though the exterior of the hotel does not show a [[Wikipedia:Penthouse apartment|penthouse]], nor do we see that their "[[Wikipedia:Suite (hotel)|suite]]" contains any more than one room). Chris has of course thought of everything—the room is set up with no fewer than five [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Glade Plug-Ins brand air fresheners]], and they will be sharing a meal of grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, greens and chocolate pudding.

Chris carries [[Ivy]] over the threshold and they are almost immediately [[Nudes|naked]]. Chris stands, displaying his almighty [[duck]], which he draws as gigantic, equal in thickness (and almost in length) to his legs. Chris seems indeed to have done as Ivy said and traced his real penis - the crookedness is highly evident. [[Anime]] speed lines inexplicably whiz past both Chris and Ivy's naked forms, suggesting that they are about to lose their respective virginities in a high-speed collision. A disturbingly intense study will reveal that the speedlines are only there to cover up the fact that Chris began to draw a huge scrotum (he was probably tracing that, too) still visible as a half-circle, complete with pubes to go with his amazing duck, using the speedlines to conceal the half-finished pubes (that go off at different angles). Also, the misshapen head of the penis is the same size as his actual head.

The newlyweds copulate for all of one panel before they both transform — Chris into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], and Ivy into her [[Ivy|Princess Ivy]] fursona. The two wretched creatures assume the [[Wikipedia:Doggy style|doggy-style position]], and fuck into the wee hours. As they achieve simultaneous orgasms, both Chris and Ivy have stars in their eyes as they share the solemn thought of thanking [[Christian Weston Chandler|God]] for allowing them to find true furfag happiness.

The comic ends with the two gorging themselves on their $10-chicken dinner, making a toast with wine glasses filled with [[CWC Cola|CWC Orange Soda]], and [[Semen|God knows what else.]] Chris and Ivy share a feeble attempt at humor that was lifted from ''Home Movies''. Strangely enough, despite this comic being set the night after Chris's wedding, neither he nor his bride are depicted wearing their wedding bands. If you look carefully though, there is what appears to be a pair of copper rings on Chris's right hand, indicating a half-hearted attempt, but they are infrequently drawn, and Ivy isn't drawn with a ring at any point. The furry sex was clearly more important to set to paper than consistently and correctly drawing the outward sign of his Christian matrimony.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:SchuComicSP3P1.jpg|HEY BRENDON, why am I in a shitty comic by an autistic manchild?
Image:SchuComicSP3P2.jpg|Ivy used too much botox. Also, note the "romantic" dinner and dessert planned.
Image:SchuComicSP3P3.jpg|This is a "penthouse suite". Also, bathroom air fresheners are a big turn on: use eight of them!
Image:SchuComicSP3P4.jpg|Chris's extraordinary sense of dimension has finally got him laid. His magically changing shirt was probably a big help too.
Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|Chris can't escape his bent [[duck|dick]] even in his comics.
Image:SchuComicSP3P6.jpg|Then the yiffing commences. Notice Chris draws himself and Ivy better as furfags than as real people.
Image:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg|THANK YOU GOD! It's over!
Image:SchuComicSP3P8.jpg|Lines [[Things Chris has ripped off|stolen]] from Home Movies. Lines that were intentionally unromantic!
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*<strike>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UBO4NR0H Download the Giant Penis Comic]</strike> Dead Megaupload link

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]][[Category: Ivy Saga]][[Category:Rule 34]]

Giant Penis Comic

2017-02-08T14:26:25Z

RedVine01: /* Gallery */

{{DeadLinks}}
{{honest}}
The '''Giant Penis Comic''' (officially '''''Sonichu'' Comic Special 3''', also known colloquially as '''PENIS COMIC''' in the [[Audiobooks]] adaptation) is a short comic drawn by [[Chris]], depicting his [[Chris and sex|wedding night]] with [[Ivy]]. It was hacked and published by [[The Miscreants]] on [[April 2009|29 April 2009]]. Besides being a true masterpiece of romance and artistic integrity, it's also notable for having a probable outline of Chris's [[Duck|penis]]. Shakespeare would be proud.

{{quote|I specifically wanted him to make an accurate depiction of his dick in the wedding comic because I worried he'd hide the bend. To comply with this request he traced his penis to cut down on effort (and staring).|Ivy's response to a question in [[Ivy Q&A]]}}

==Story==
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|The Giant Penis in question.]]

Following the events of Chris and Ivy's [[Wedding Comic|wedding]], Chris meets with Ivy's father [[Officer Keino]] who, it is worth noting, looks eerily like [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off#Home_movies|coach John McGuirk]] from [[Adult Swim]]'s [[Wikipedia:Home Movies (TV series)|''Home Movies'']]. Chris immediately begins brown-nosing his new father-in-law, displaying the utmost respect to both the man and the uniform. (This is especially hilarious considering Chris's issues with [[Jerkops]], and [[Bagget]] in particular.) Keino launches into a speech about what a great man Chris is and how he admires the tribulations our hero has endured. He entrusts Ivy to Chris's "[[Mass debating|strong, capable hands]]," which makes no sense, as usually the father of the bride gives his blessing ''before'' the wedding; instead we have Keino granting Chris permission to fuck his daughter (because who wouldn't want to read a porn comic that had their father in it?)

We then see Chris and Ivy checking into the Double-CWC Hotel (A [[Random-access humor|pun]] on the phrase ''double quick'', and confirming that we are indeed still in [[CWCville]]), where Chris has reserved a luxurious penthouse suite (even though the exterior of the hotel does not show a [[Wikipedia:Penthouse apartment|penthouse]], nor do we see that their "[[Wikipedia:Suite (hotel)|suite]]" contains any more than one room). Chris has of course thought of everything—the room is set up with no fewer than five [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Glade Plug-Ins brand air fresheners]], and they will be sharing a meal of grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, greens and chocolate pudding.

Chris carries [[Ivy]] over the threshold and they are almost immediately [[Nudes|naked]]. Chris stands, displaying his almighty [[duck]], which he draws as gigantic, equal in thickness (and almost in length) to his legs. Chris seems indeed to have done as Ivy said and traced his real penis - the crookedness is highly evident. [[Anime]] speed lines inexplicably whiz past both Chris and Ivy's naked forms, suggesting that they are about to lose their respective virginities in a high-speed collision. A disturbingly intense study will reveal that the speedlines are only there to cover up the fact that Chris began to draw a huge scrotum (he was probably tracing that, too) still visible as a half-circle, complete with pubes to go with his amazing duck, using the speedlines to conceal the half-finished pubes (that go off at different angles). Also, the misshapen head of the penis is the same size as his actual head.

The newlyweds copulate for all of one panel before they both transform — Chris into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], and Ivy into her [[Ivy|Princess Ivy]] fursona. The two wretched creatures assume the [[Wikipedia:Doggy style|doggy-style position]], and fuck into the wee hours. As they achieve simultaneous orgasms, both Chris and Ivy have stars in their eyes as they share the solemn thought of thanking [[Christian Weston Chandler|God]] for allowing them to find true furfag happiness.

The comic ends with the two gorging themselves on their $10-chicken dinner, making a toast with wine glasses filled with [[CWC Cola|CWC Orange Soda]], and [[Semen|God knows what else.]] Chris and Ivy share a feeble attempt at humor that was lifted from ''Home Movies''. Strangely enough, despite this comic being set the night after Chris's wedding, neither he nor his bride are depicted wearing their wedding bands. If you look carefully though, there is what appears to be a pair of copper rings on Chris's right hand, indicating a half-hearted attempt, but they are infrequently drawn, and Ivy isn't drawn with a ring at any point. The furry sex was clearly more important to set to paper than consistently and correctly drawing the outward sign of his Christian matrimony.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:SchuComicSP3P1.jpg|HEY BRENDON, why am I in a shitty comic by an autistic manchild?
Image:SchuComicSP3P2.jpg|Ivy used too much botox. Also, note the "romantic" dinner and dessert planned.
Image:SchuComicSP3P3.jpg|This is a "penthouse suite". Also, bathroom air fresheners are a big turn on: use eight of them!
Image:SchuComicSP3P4.jpg|Chris's extraordinary sense of dimension has finally got him laid. His magically changing shirt was probably a big help too.
Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|Chris can't escape his bent [[duck|dick]] even in his comics.
Image:SchuComicSP3P6.jpg|Then the yiffing commences. Notice Chris draws himself and Ivy better as furfags than as real people.
Image:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg|THANK YOU GOD! It's over!
Image:SchuComicSP3P8.jpg|Lines [[List of things Chris has stolen|stolen]] from Home Movies. Lines that were intentionally unromantic!
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*<strike>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UBO4NR0H Download the Giant Penis Comic]</strike> Dead Megaupload link

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]][[Category: Ivy Saga]][[Category:Rule 34]]

Giant Penis Comic

2017-02-08T14:23:50Z

RedVine01: /* Gallery */

{{DeadLinks}}
{{honest}}
The '''Giant Penis Comic''' (officially '''''Sonichu'' Comic Special 3''', also known colloquially as '''PENIS COMIC''' in the [[Audiobooks]] adaptation) is a short comic drawn by [[Chris]], depicting his [[Chris and sex|wedding night]] with [[Ivy]]. It was hacked and published by [[The Miscreants]] on [[April 2009|29 April 2009]]. Besides being a true masterpiece of romance and artistic integrity, it's also notable for having a probable outline of Chris's [[Duck|penis]]. Shakespeare would be proud.

{{quote|I specifically wanted him to make an accurate depiction of his dick in the wedding comic because I worried he'd hide the bend. To comply with this request he traced his penis to cut down on effort (and staring).|Ivy's response to a question in [[Ivy Q&A]]}}

==Story==
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|The Giant Penis in question.]]

Following the events of Chris and Ivy's [[Wedding Comic|wedding]], Chris meets with Ivy's father [[Officer Keino]] who, it is worth noting, looks eerily like [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off#Home_movies|coach John McGuirk]] from [[Adult Swim]]'s [[Wikipedia:Home Movies (TV series)|''Home Movies'']]. Chris immediately begins brown-nosing his new father-in-law, displaying the utmost respect to both the man and the uniform. (This is especially hilarious considering Chris's issues with [[Jerkops]], and [[Bagget]] in particular.) Keino launches into a speech about what a great man Chris is and how he admires the tribulations our hero has endured. He entrusts Ivy to Chris's "[[Mass debating|strong, capable hands]]," which makes no sense, as usually the father of the bride gives his blessing ''before'' the wedding; instead we have Keino granting Chris permission to fuck his daughter (because who wouldn't want to read a porn comic that had their father in it?)

We then see Chris and Ivy checking into the Double-CWC Hotel (A [[Random-access humor|pun]] on the phrase ''double quick'', and confirming that we are indeed still in [[CWCville]]), where Chris has reserved a luxurious penthouse suite (even though the exterior of the hotel does not show a [[Wikipedia:Penthouse apartment|penthouse]], nor do we see that their "[[Wikipedia:Suite (hotel)|suite]]" contains any more than one room). Chris has of course thought of everything—the room is set up with no fewer than five [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Glade Plug-Ins brand air fresheners]], and they will be sharing a meal of grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, greens and chocolate pudding.

Chris carries [[Ivy]] over the threshold and they are almost immediately [[Nudes|naked]]. Chris stands, displaying his almighty [[duck]], which he draws as gigantic, equal in thickness (and almost in length) to his legs. Chris seems indeed to have done as Ivy said and traced his real penis - the crookedness is highly evident. [[Anime]] speed lines inexplicably whiz past both Chris and Ivy's naked forms, suggesting that they are about to lose their respective virginities in a high-speed collision. A disturbingly intense study will reveal that the speedlines are only there to cover up the fact that Chris began to draw a huge scrotum (he was probably tracing that, too) still visible as a half-circle, complete with pubes to go with his amazing duck, using the speedlines to conceal the half-finished pubes (that go off at different angles). Also, the misshapen head of the penis is the same size as his actual head.

The newlyweds copulate for all of one panel before they both transform — Chris into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], and Ivy into her [[Ivy|Princess Ivy]] fursona. The two wretched creatures assume the [[Wikipedia:Doggy style|doggy-style position]], and fuck into the wee hours. As they achieve simultaneous orgasms, both Chris and Ivy have stars in their eyes as they share the solemn thought of thanking [[Christian Weston Chandler|God]] for allowing them to find true furfag happiness.

The comic ends with the two gorging themselves on their $10-chicken dinner, making a toast with wine glasses filled with [[CWC Cola|CWC Orange Soda]], and [[Semen|God knows what else.]] Chris and Ivy share a feeble attempt at humor that was lifted from ''Home Movies''. Strangely enough, despite this comic being set the night after Chris's wedding, neither he nor his bride are depicted wearing their wedding bands. If you look carefully though, there is what appears to be a pair of copper rings on Chris's right hand, indicating a half-hearted attempt, but they are infrequently drawn, and Ivy isn't drawn with a ring at any point. The furry sex was clearly more important to set to paper than consistently and correctly drawing the outward sign of his Christian matrimony.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:SchuComicSP3P1.jpg|HEY BRENDON, why am I in a shitty comic by an autistic manchild?
Image:SchuComicSP3P2.jpg|Ivy used too much botox. Also, note the "romantic" dinner and dessert planned
Image:SchuComicSP3P3.jpg|This is a "penthouse suite". Also, bathroom air fresheners are a big turn on: use eight of them!
Image:SchuComicSP3P4.jpg|Chris's extraordinary sense of dimension has finally got him laid. His magically changing shirt was probably a big help too.
Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|Chris can't escape his bent [[duck|dick]] even in his comics.
Image:SchuComicSP3P6.jpg|Then the yiffing commences. Notice Chris draws himself and Ivy better as furfags than as real people.
Image:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg|THANK YOU GOD! It's over!
Image:SchuComicSP3P8.jpg|Jaunty banter, after-sex banter.
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*<strike>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UBO4NR0H Download the Giant Penis Comic]</strike> Dead Megaupload link

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]][[Category: Ivy Saga]][[Category:Rule 34]]

Wedding Comic

2017-02-08T14:19:49Z

RedVine01: /* Comic pages */

[[Image:IvyWedding.jpg|thumb]]
[[Image:November-rain-dress.jpg|thumb]]

'''Sonichu Special 2''', also known as the '''Wedding Comic''', is a comic created by Chris in [[2009]]. It shows how he visualizes his wedding to [[Ivy]]. The comic was released in its entirety on 12 [[May 2009]] by [[Clyde Cash]]. Before that, it was featured in the videos [[MEOW]] and [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"]].

[[Chris and art|Art-wise]], the comic is remarkable in that Chris included a bunch of flowery stickers in it. [[Ivy]] originally wanted glitter to be used in a scene where [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] meets [[Layla]] (pages [[:File:SchuComic9P23.jpg|23]] and [[:File:SchuComic9P24.jpg|24]] of [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]]), but Chris got stickers instead and they remained unused because [[Rocky Shoemaker|external influences]] made him tone down the comic a little bit.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Layla and Punchy|Ivy Q&A: Layla and Punchy]]</ref> In these pages, the paper appears to be warped, perhaps because Chris couldn't be bothered to invest in decent-quality paper (rather, he seems to have [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|gone to Wal-Mart and paid five dollars for 500 sheets]]).

Chris acknowledges that he uses a character recolor (Canino Houndhowl) "designed" by [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]. This is certainly not the first nor the last time Chris has attempted to use stuff from his previous relationships to produce awesomely romantic artwork; a similar thing could be seen in [[LittleBigPlanet#First Date Level|First Date Level]].

==Plot==

It is Chris and Ivy's wedding day. Oddly, the sign outside advertises the "Chandler-Bundy wedding", even though Ivy's surname is O'Neil (Chris likely made an association between Ivy and actor Ed O'Neill, then [[Slow-in-the-minds|confused]] Ed with his Married With Children character, Al Bundy.) Canino Houndhowl, a character created by [[Megan Schroeder]]<ref>[[:File:318-HoundHowl.jpg]]</ref>, is on the door. The cake is prepared by some sort of dinosaur things called Gecko and Mantis (named after [[trolls|troll]] Gecko Mantis, who got his name from two ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'' characters; similarly, the piano-playing cat Spas is also named after a troll). [[Punchy Sonichu]] is eyeing up [[Layla|Layla Flaaffy]]. Ivy's friend Rachel (previously mentioned in [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|a video]]) is her maid of honor, her bridesmaid is Lilith and her father [[Officer Keino]] gives her away. Chris portrayed Ivy's father as Coach John McGuirk from [[Wikipedia:Home Movies (TV series)|''Home Movies'']] after Ivy mentioned he reminded her of the character.<ref>[[Ivy_Q%26A#Stalking|Ivy Q&A]]</ref> [[Sarah Hammer]], in William Spicer's tuxedo, is Chris's best man. [[Crass and Champ]] are the ring-bearers. They are married by a preacher seemingly wearing headphones, and after the reception they leave in a carriage drawn by a [[My Little Pony]] -- desperately fleeing a maddened [[Rosechu]], who pursues them down the road. Not seen anywhere in this comic are Chris's [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] and [[Bob Chandler|dad]]. Apparently their son doesn't see much of a need for them on his wedding day.

==Comic pages==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:IvyCWC1.jpg|Apparently, Ivy's feet are twice the size of Chris's.
Image:SchuComicSP2P1.jpg|Of course all the bridesmaids are only interested in the boys at a wedding.
Image:SchuComicSP2P2.jpg|A pair of raptor things making bad jokes likely ripped from Britcoms.
Image:SchuComicSP2P3.jpg|Trolls as wedding guests and the arrival of Officer McGuirk.
Image:SpasPianist.jpg|Spas the cat and... cousin?
Image:SchuComicSP2P4.jpg|Officer McGuirk gives away the fruit of his loins. [[Ching Chong|A traumatized Chinese girl]] litters the church with stickers.
Image:IvyWedding.jpg|Yes, this is the dress from "November Rain".
Image:SchuComicSP2P5.jpg|Why is the preacher wearing headphones?
Image:WedRing.jpg|[[CWC Fighter|HADOKEN!]]
Image:IvyCWC2.jpg|You may now consume the bride's face.
Image:SchuComicSP2P6.jpg|Why is Sarah Hammer the [[homos|best man]]? Why does the cup have an evil face on it? Why is [[Rosechu]] chasing a chariot? Or why does she have a bouquet when she's already married? Why is there a [[My Little Pony]]? Why does any of this comic exist at all?
</gallery>
</center>
{{clear}}

==Links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi3JYpdCK0w Audiobook]

==References==
<references/>
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]][[Category: Ivy Saga]]

Rescuing Ivy Comic

2017-02-08T14:15:37Z

RedVine01: /* Comic pages */

'''Sonichu Special 1''' is a comic created by Chris, recalling the story of him saving [[Ivy]] from the hands of [[Clyde Cash]] (known as "Cly" in this comic). Only six pages have been leaked to the Internet, but certain parts of the comic can be seen in full glory in [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], a video by Chris.

==Plot==

"[[Clyde Cash|Cly]]", a bald man wearing a purple suit and blue cape, has abducted, bound and gagged [[Ivy]]. [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] rescues her without incident, but then Cly (who is in the pay of [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]]) activates a jetpack, and chases Chris (transformed into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]) and Ivy as they escape. Chris then hits Cly with some sort of electric attack, the two lovers escape, and share kisses and hugs.

==Comic pages==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:CWCBackShadow.jpg|If we didn't have the [[CWC Holding Out for a Hero]] video, we'd have no idea what this was.
Image:ClyMansion.jpg|Chris's depiction of Outer Heaven, Clyde's lair and mansion.
Image:CWCsClyde.jpg|Just looking at this for too long will make your eyes water.
Image:ClyFalls.jpg|Chris seems to have placed the [[McDonald's|Golden Arches]] in the bottom left corner.
Image:ClyZooms.jpg|<s>Mary Lee</s> Slaweel Ryam [[Chris and English|pays me not enough]].
Image:CWCandSonichuRescue.jpg
Image:Schucomicsp1p11.jpg|Chris forgot he was working on a comic and started drawing a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|video game]] level.
Image:Schucomicsp1p12.jpg|Note that CCS doesn't actually finish the word "Thunder."
Image:Schucomicsp1p13.jpg|Chris-Chan Sonichu sneezes fire onto a bald Angel in space. I think.
Image:Schucomicsp1p14.jpg|Ivy O'Neil, destroyer of physics.
Image:Schucomicsp1p15.jpg|[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris suffers an accident while landing]].
Image:Schucomicsp1p16.jpg|Let me ''UNHINGE MY JAW'' TO '''HOMF MOMF'''
Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg
Image:350meko.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

 
 

==Links==
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dB6c5txd8ro Audio book]
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]
[[Category:Ivy Saga]]

Rescuing Ivy Comic

2017-02-08T14:14:37Z

RedVine01: /* Comic pages */

'''Sonichu Special 1''' is a comic created by Chris, recalling the story of him saving [[Ivy]] from the hands of [[Clyde Cash]] (known as "Cly" in this comic). Only six pages have been leaked to the Internet, but certain parts of the comic can be seen in full glory in [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], a video by Chris.

==Plot==

"[[Clyde Cash|Cly]]", a bald man wearing a purple suit and blue cape, has abducted, bound and gagged [[Ivy]]. [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] rescues her without incident, but then Cly (who is in the pay of [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]]) activates a jetpack, and chases Chris (transformed into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]) and Ivy as they escape. Chris then hits Cly with some sort of electric attack, the two lovers escape, and share kisses and hugs.

==Comic pages==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:CWCBackShadow.jpg|If we didn't have the [[CWC Holding Out For A Hero]] video, we'd have no idea what this was.
Image:ClyMansion.jpg|Chris's depiction of Outer Heaven, Clyde's lair and mansion.
Image:CWCsClyde.jpg|Just looking at this for too long will make your eyes water.
Image:ClyFalls.jpg|Chris seems to have placed the [[McDonald's|Golden Arches]] in the bottom left corner.
Image:ClyZooms.jpg|<s>Mary Lee</s> Slaweel Ryam [[Chris and English|pays me not enough]].
Image:CWCandSonichuRescue.jpg
Image:Schucomicsp1p11.jpg|Chris forgot he was working on a comic and started drawing a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|video game]] level.
Image:Schucomicsp1p12.jpg|Note that CCS doesn't actually finish the word "Thunder."
Image:Schucomicsp1p13.jpg|Chris-Chan Sonichu sneezes fire onto a bald Angel in space. I think.
Image:Schucomicsp1p14.jpg|Ivy O'Neil, destroyer of physics.
Image:Schucomicsp1p15.jpg|[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris suffers an accident while landing]].
Image:Schucomicsp1p16.jpg|Let me ''UNHINGE MY JAW'' TO '''HOMF MOMF'''
Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg
Image:350meko.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

 
 

==Links==
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dB6c5txd8ro Audio book]
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]
[[Category:Ivy Saga]]

United States of America

2017-02-08T13:43:36Z

RedVine01: /* Chris for President? */

{{Quote|"Hail thee, to the president, by gah ... her 'tis of thee..." 
Okay, [[Honor roll|I don't know the words]], but I am being patriotic here!|Chris<ref>[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]</ref>}}
[[File:SonichuFlag.png|thumb|Christian's primary thoughts on the USA.]]

[[Chris]] is a citizen of the '''United States of America''', a federal constitutional republic in North America. The nation is considered the only remaining superpower since the end of the Cold War, and is a leading economic, political and cultural force in the world.

Chris's stance on the nation he lives in is inconsistent at best. While he claims to be a good citizen who loves and respects his country, his [[Twin Falling Towers|actions]] [[Calling Out|are]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|often]] [[Chris and the Law|very]] [[Monthly tugboat|obviously]] contrary to these claims.

==Politics==
{{main|Chris and politics}}
[[File:Cwcflag1.png|thumb|Christian's DEEPER thoughts on the USA.]]

At a glance, Chris's sense of politics seem very inconsistent; on some issues, he takes a very [[Wikipedia:Conservatism in the United States|conservative]] stance, on others a very [[Wikipedia:Liberalism in the United States|liberal]] one. While many people have an independent or bipartisan opinion, one has to realize the true nature of Chris's decision-making: that Chris doesn't favor what's good for the working class, or America, or the world, but rather what's good for Chris. As such, he's against gay marriage because he hates da [[homos]], and supported [[Barack Obama]] because he "saw himself in him".<ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>

Another political insight is the vague statement "I agree with gun control.",<ref>[[Mailbag 4]]</ref> despite Chris's numerous [[death threats]] and [[Sonichu Special 4|vigilante plans]] that would require a firearm. Soon after, he clarified that he supports abortion,<ref>[[Mailbag 20]]</ref> undoubtedly to show his appreciation for [[women's rights]].

Chris proclaims himself to be a "moderate."<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe]]</ref> While typically this simply means not having extreme or overly partisan political beliefs, he takes this as a general-purpose response to all questions about politics, including ones that have no defined middle path. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the [[Mailbags]], where Chris will often dodge giving his opinion on issues ''every'' voter should have an opinion on, simply because ''he has no opinion'', though he did vote for [[Obama]] in 2008 and 2012.

{{Quote|I disagree with more of the [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (US)|Republican]]'s views than the [[Wikipedia:Democratic Party (US)|Democrats]]. As for [[Wikipedia:Iraq War troop surge of 2007|the troop surge]], I don't really care much for war, especially if it's [[Death threats|over some petty disagreement]], but regardless of the surge's success or failure, [[Chris and English|I feel at least half of the sent troops should not be pulled back to stand their ground]].|Chris, [[Mailbag 15#Everything in moderation|Mailbag 15]]}}

Chris doesn't react well in situations where he absolutely has to make a choice ([[Julie]] or [[PSN]]?<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>), and seems easily persuaded on matters that he doesn't really have a stake on. As a result, he often comes across like a weathervane, just repeating whatever opinion has most recently lodged itself in his head. His frequently vacillating opinion about Obama is a good example of this; he first parroted what [[Bob|his father]] had told him about it, then he changed his mind because of a documentary, and then he reverted his opinion because of his father again.

Chris's political stances became both more consistent and extreme at the outset of the [[Tomgirl Saga]]. This is likely a blend of his worldview changing with his new adopted gender identity and also the passing of Bob, leaving him with no omnipresent conservative voice to sway him. By the time of the 2016 presidential elections, Chris had become a vocal [[Wikipedia:Democratic Party (US)|Democrat]]. He does remain largely self-serving in his outlook however: he now ardently supports LGBTQ initiatives but qualifies his commitment with his dislike of gay men (rendering his support disingenuous at best). His financial woes have also made politics related to welfare and state support a focus for him but he never forms thoughts on the subject beyond the vague belief that one party or the other is inherently good. Like many things with Chris, his outlook on politics is unbridled by civility or even common sense. In November 2016 Chris went so far as to openly call for the assassination of president-elect Donald Trump, something even the most die-hard liberal politico would consider madness to say aloud.

==Understanding of government==
[[File:CWCVilleTrueFlag.png|thumb|What Christian's ideas actually amount to in [[Chris and reality|reality]].]]

Chris's grasp of how the government works, much like Chris's grasp on [[Chris and reality|reality]] as a whole, is very tenuous. One of the most telling examples of this is his ignorant stance on taxation and [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]]. Because Chris is jobless, he pays no taxes. However, he still thinks of himself as a contributing member of society, because he pays [[Wikipedia:Sales taxes in the United States|sales taxes]] on the massive amount of crap he buys.

{{Quote|[[Chris and money|My spending that money ends up going to others who get such welfare and all as well.... I am sharing the wealth with others who are on that tugboat as well.]]|Chris, [[Honor roll|being wrong]].<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref>.}}

It's highly unlikely that Chris understands the massive discrepancy between the amount the federal government pays him and the amount he gives back to the economy via sales tax. Chris also fails to understand that, in the USA, sales taxes are collected by state and local governments, while his Social Security Disability check comes from the federal government.

Chris also seems to have difficulty understanding what the true purpose of government actually is. The U.S. government's duty is to follow the will of the majority while respecting the rights of the minority, to protect its citizens from danger, and to ensure the continued prosperity of the nation. Chris, however, would like it to be a totalitarianism and ideally to be the one running it, allowing him to enforce his deranged fantasies on the American populus:

{{Quote|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples, leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All gays would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.|Chris.<ref> [[Common Questions#28 December 2009]]</ref>}}

The facts that this would neither help the country in any way nor be even remotely possible to put into practice are not ones Chris considers important. Chris's reasoning is simply that since he wants a [[sweetheart]], ''everybody'' must want a sweetheart, and if everybody wants a sweetheart, the government needs to make it happen. Similarly, since he is uncomfortable with gays personally, every single gay person in the country must be forced into a heterosexual lifestyle.

Over the years, Chris has proposed a large number of laws, even sending letters to President [[Barack Obama]] demanding legislation against [[trolls]] and [[homos]]. This is completely futile for myriad reasons, but two are most pressing: one, the President of the United States has much more pressing concerns than making an insane manchild in Ruckersville, VA, happy, and two, the US President ''can't make laws''. Separation of powers and checks and balances in government are concepts Chris has no time for — [[CWCville]], after all, is a hereditary dictatorship.

Oddly, the closest analog for how Chris views his government is how Chris views his [[Chris and religion|religion]]. He treats both the U.S. government and [[God]] as things that can be completely ignored unless he has a personal problem, at which point they should immediately act as instruments of his will. He believes that both have a deeply vested interest in himself, often at the expense of everybody else.

== Chris on patriotism ==
As established, Chris has a very [[naïve]] view of American politics and how the federal government operates. Despite these setbacks, Chris has developed a unique brand of patriotism he brings up quite often, usually either in [[Father Call|defense of his character]] or dehumanization of his [[Trolls|enemies]]. As a result, these stabs at [[Wikipedia:Jingoism|jingoism]] often feel forced or out of place. Chris has utilized this tactic in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], with the iconic "Clarksville Address":

{{quote|Yes, sir, my loving, caring [[Sweetheart]] and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great, humble United States of America along with him.|[[Sonichu]], on Chris's batshit insane claim that insulting him means you hate America.<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref>}}

[[Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris bastardizing the American flag with his [[Chris and fashion|favorite shirt]].]]

In the above statement, the central flaw in Chris's reasoning is displayed - the belief [[Song of Christian|his problems are analogous with the problems of every American]]. Therefore, if [[ED]] satirizes ''him'', they insult ''all'' U.S. citizens. This would become something of a recurring theme, with a later video claiming that any attack on Chris or [[CWCville|his fictional "utopia"]] was equivalent to mocking any 'C-ville' in America.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> On a shallower level, it's an obvious ploy for sympathy, a façade of reasonable nationalism that aims to make him the 'good guy', and by extension, [[Jason]] the 'bad guy'. Thus, patriotic symbolism is thrown in, without really even considering whether or not it makes sense in context. Chris is patriotic simply because he believes that's what will win him [[Scale of Respect|respect]] and reprieve.

His attempts to prove his patriotism are undermined, however, by his tendency to [[Twin Falling Towers|mock national tragedies]] and his [[Chris and music|complete inability to sing even the most well-known patriotic songs.]] If anything, Chris's attempts to prove himself a "true American" end up having the opposite effect.

However, his bumbling enthusiasm isn't reserved for the USA alone. Like many Americans, Chris has contrived of a highly dubious ancestry for himself, starting from [[Anne Boleyn]], a Queen of England who was executed in [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1536]]. This was almost instantly proven false when her ultimate descendant Queen Elizabeth I, also known as [[Virgin with rage|"The Virgin Queen"]], died in 1603, childless. Then Chris tried in vain to co-opt British, Scottish, and Irish national sentiment in his kilt-clad tirade against [[Surfshack Tito]]<ref>[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]</ref> as a means of intimidation. Also, while not a standard country per se, he also evoked his relation to the Cherokee nation in his infamous [[War Paint Video]]. Finally, Chris attempts to use the fact that February 24 is Mexico's Flag Day to justify [[Christian Love Day|turning his own birthday into a holiday]]; an ''American'' holiday. Note that all of these cases, Chris's total ignorance of other nations means he fails spectacularly at representing them and appearing patriotic.
{{-}}

==Chris for President?==
[[File:Idealworld.jpg|thumb|Christian's [[CWCville|promised America]].]]

In an [[October 2010]] video, Chris outlined what he would do if he were elected President. He declared he would [[Chris and money|cut taxes in half]], build "soup hotels", give [[Merried Seinor Comic|senior citizens]] increased funds for medications and special services, [[Sonichu Special 4|restrict guns to law enforcement personnel only]], [[homos|allow gay marriage]], and [[TrollBusters|form a special police force that focuses entirely on capturing Internet trolls.]]<ref>[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]</ref>

Aside from his failure to deliver a good speech, this video also showcases his complete and utter ignorance of how government and taxes work. Building luxury hotels for the homeless<ref>[[Mailbag 18]]</ref> and increasing social security for [[Bob Chandler|senior citizens]] would cost a gigantic amount of money to do, yet he also proposes cutting taxes in half (again thinking that all tax is federally mandated), thus also reducing the amount of money the government can spend in half. Given that Chris probably has [[Honor roll|no knowledge of economics]], he likely assumes that money can be printed endlessly without fear of inflation.

Chris's restrictions of guns to professionals only is a blatant violation of the [[Wikipedia:Second Amendment to the United States Constitution|Second Amendment]], which explains the right of American citizens to own a wide array of weaponry can never be infringed. While there are certain restrictions on who can own a gun and what types, generally differing on the state level, a flat-out ban on weapons would be found unconstitutional. Then again, Chris isn't exactly big on [[Homos|respecting]] [[Asperchu|the]] [[Megan Schroeder|rights]] [[Mailbag 31|of]] [[Niggos|others.]]

His departure from his previous stance on gay marriage is surprising, but then again, he was influenced by [[Jackie]] when he made the video. Despite his decree of equal rights, he does finish up his point by imploring [[Homos|gays]] to [[Sex tape|"keep it to yourselves in your room, just don't force it upon everybody."]] Meanwhile, Chris can [[Fridays After Five|flaunt his depravity]] in public to his heart's content.

While taxes, government spending, gay marriage and gun control are all big issues, Chris finishes up his video by proposing his most important change: the establishment of a special [[TrollBusters]] unit of [[Chris and the Law|law enforcement]], apparently dedicated to finding trolls who make fun of people online, and incarcerating them. While a cybercrimes unit already exists for the FBI, they spend their time pursuing actual criminals like [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and scam artists, not people who make fun of fat manbabies online.

Chris was also asked in [[Mailbag 55]] to list the laws he would like to see put in place. As well as stating that he wants a ban on smoking, he also wishes for all men to wear a [[muscle bra]] and that all women who are currently in a relationship should be forced to wear a ring. Not only are such laws inane and draconian, the latter two would only help [[Chris and His Ego|Chris' ego]] and nobody else.

Also, the fact that Chris is willing to suspend constitutional rights and spend countless theoretical millions to incarcerate people that make fun of him on the Internet is proof that Chris is neither a Republican or Democrat, capitalist or socialist, right-wing or left-wing, authoritarian or libertarian, liberal or conservative, communist or fascist, elitist or egalitarian, individualist or collectivist, religious or secular, extremist or moderate - or really any political stripe at all. His politics truly begin and end with him alone.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]''
*[[Chris and the Law]]
*[[TrollBusters]]
*[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
*[[Sonichu 8]]

{{PoliticalVideos}}

[[Category:Places]] [[Category:Politics]]

Mailbag 51

2017-02-07T03:39:55Z

RedVine01: /* He gives no care */

'''Mailbag 51''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 31 [[January 2010]], with this mailbag uploaded by the sysop, instead of by Chris (as in Mailbag 50). It was answered on 1 [[February 2010]]. Remarkably, Chris did not edit, delete, or reject a single email. This was the last Mailbag Chris would answer before the CWCipedia was taken down by a legal challenge from [[Evan|Evan George]]. He wouldn't manage to upload any more responses for two weeks.

Highlights from this mailbag included Chris demanding delicious cell phones, blaming the FCC for his determination to show sex to children, and hinting at [[Sonichu 11|Issue Eleven]] being some sort of insane combination of a reboot and a clip show.

Two weeks after Chris originally answered this Mailbag, he went back and heavily edited the second message in a futile attempt to cover up some of his homophobic remarks.

==Answered==

===Chris defends stealing exact lines of dialogue by stealing exact lines of dialogue===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Gil Gerard|Gil Gerard]] <gilsemailaddy@yahoo.com>
You call yourself a "creative genius." Creative geniuses come up with completely original ideas all on their own. You, however, borrow everything in your comic from other sources. Sonic, Pokemon, Transformers, Family Guy...every bit of your comic comes from somewhere else. You even copy exact lines of dialogue from these sources. This is not being a creative genius.

If you could come up with something all on your own, without including things you saw elsewhere, what would it be? I think it would be interesting see a CWC production of a comic that didn't steal anything from other comics, TV shows, or games.

--Gil}}
{{EmailReply|I stand by my work.

And when YOU actually invent the [[Cleveland Show|Edible Cell Phone]], the iRitz; give me a call on your cracker, then eat the phone, and I'll answer the question better.}}

===Working on it===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, your recent video is still inadequate.

You did not apologize for the threats you made against Alec, and you made it obvious that you only want to apologize to get something you want--apologies need to be selfless in order to count(that means you can't ask for anything in return).

appearing to be rude?

And you didn't just "seem to be" rude, you WERE rude.

Editing SOME letters? Overall, you've edited or deleted around seventy letters. That's not "Some". At least twice you deleted half a mailbag.

Don't like it when people criticize you? Too bad, that's what fame does. Suck it up and accept it.

Able to take criticism to a certain point? So that means you can't handle it. All TRUE artists know that they have to take criticism seriously.}}
{{EmailReply|I am working hard on improving my acceptance of harshest criticisms.}}

===ACCEPT THE FACTS and Lay Off===
{{Email|From: Stephany Miller <smokerchick1970@hotmail.com>
Hello, Christian

I have to admit I was rather dismayed that you deleted my email without so much as responding to it or even putting it in the Rejected Mailbag. However, I have seen your recent video and you make it apparent that you are willing to give "nice responses" instead of just refusing to acknowledge emails like a spoiled child. Since you have expressed concern that these emails have made you slow in the mind, I will try to explain my email so your autistic mind can understand it.

1. You have fooled for such a long time into believing Rosechu was female.
2. One method of your deception was naming the male Raichu from which Rosechu was created "Girl Raichu."
3. It is obvious that this Raichu was male because of its pointed tale. You have changed this but the original is still on your site.
4. You were so obsessive about Rosechu's femininity that it fooled a lot of your fans.
5. Having Rosechu's masculinity revealed in her offer of her pickle to Simonla is an interesting plot point.
6. It will be fascinating to see how this turns out.

Question: How will Rosechu's pickle affect her relationship with Sonichu. Is Sonichu a closet homosexual as I have suspected.

If you want to stop losing fans I suggest you respond to your fan's emails.

Stephany}}
{{EmailReply|1) [[List of Chris's Lies|I am Not fooling anyone]]; THE RAICHU WAS ACTUALLY ALL FEMALE. Your questions are unbiased, and outrageous. I WISH you would just ACCEPT THE FACTS and Lay Off.}}

===Perspectives and all that===
{{Email|From: Derek Shinobu <derek_chu64@yahoo.com>
Dear Christian Weston Chandler;

I have just stumbled upon your works pretty recently and offer my sincere criticism and advice.

Your art is colorful and sometimes amusing, Christian. However, it is also poor in a technical sense. Characters seldom remain a consistent size, your sense of perspective is skewed, and the panels are sometimes so crowded as well as badly laid out, that it becomes hard to follow what is happening.

While this can be excused in the case of a young child's artwork, you are a man twenty seven years of age with aspirations of doing this professionally. Am I right in saying that you wish to be a professional comic book writer/artist? There is a difference between child-like and childish.

Now, with all that being said, here's my advice. Why don't you go back to college and enroll in an art course or two? You would have to cut down on buying videogames and sex related paraphernalia, but if drawing is what you plan to do with your life, why not take it seriously and try to improve? If you're truly passionate about your art, a few hundred dollars every month should not be a big sacrifice for you.

I am fully aware there are professional artists out there that have never taken an art course, but if you are honest with yourself, Christian, you'll notice their art is on a different level from yours.

I truly believe that if you learn the basics, your art would improve a hundred-fold and silence all those critics who say you cannot draw better than a third-grader. Yes, you would have to swallow your pride and admit to yourself that your art is not as good as you thought, but Christian, no one gets better without first realizing they need to get better.

And think of the benefits. You would actually have something to wake up for everyday. You could start showering regularly. You could start socializing again. You would even know the correct date instead of being five days off like in your [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|last video]] (It's January 30th, Chris, not 25th). Just don't do silly things like spreading around a newsletter or wearing a sign, and try not to make the female students uncomfortable. Get out there into the world and make something of yourself, Christian Weston Chandler, before life passes you by completely.

Good Luck,
Derek}}
{{EmailReply|[[Chris and art|I have taken over 15 art classes]] in my lifetime, learned perspectives and all that. I stand by my work.}}

===He gives no care===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:The Notorious B.I.G.|Biggie]]
"How many fans do you think Asperchu has? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+. A: 0-10"

Yeah, about that. According to the hit counter(that exists on all wikis), his front page has been accessed 61,774 times since it's creation a month or so ago(it counts multiple hits from the same person).

I don't think 1-10 fans could possibly manage that. Oh, and by the way, more than 10 people have sent letters talking about how much more they like Asperchu, so you're wrong.

Likewise, your front page has been accessed some 200,000 times over the last six months. Having 1,000,000+ fans cannot possibly generate this few hits.

You've probably got around 500 fans (You had around 3000, but Issue 10 knocked 2500 of them out of your circle and Asperchu was waiting to pull them in), and 3000 trolls. You're fairly irrelevant, actually.}}
{{EmailReply|[[Pmurt| I give no care to POLLS and such]]; I continue with my work, and answer my messages with tought. Give me a break.}}

===The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault===
{{Email|From: Leslie Triballo <lesliepony@yahoo.com>
Chris,

When you said, "Children will likely be seeing [panty shots and genitals] in real life, so mellow out and let them learn a bit," that's not your decision to make. That's up to the parents, and you are not the parents of the kids reading this comic. You claim this is a "TV-Y7" comic, but in order for a program to earn a TV-Y7 rating, certain things are not allowed at all. Depictions of sex and sexual organs are not allowed at all, even if censored. Innuendo is also not allowed at all. When parents let their kids watch something rated TV-Y7, they do so expecting it will not contain those things.

Your censored comic is much more like a TV-PG or TV-14 program. You need to make this known, or else a parent could sue you for exposing their child to filth and being dishonest about the rating.

--Leslie}}
{{EmailReply|Don't blame me, blame the FCC; they are letting up on their ratings and mellowing out.}}

===An invitation===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
"I Am Straight. I would never join the military. Let Obama Repeal the policy, then the homos can go die in explosions."

You just admitted that you want people to DIE because you don't like their sexuality.

Well, I think that settles it. You're a terrible person.}}
{{EmailReply|I am a lot nicer than that; you should hang out with me in person and get to know me better.}}

===Chris pities someone===
{{Email|From: lovelyrainbow6@aol.com
Dear Chris,

My name is Kayla and as an asexual I saw that in one of your previous mailbags that you are ticked off by the asexual community. It bewilders me and I'd like to ask why does it bother you? Please respond. Have a great day.}}
{{EmailReply|Asexuals are [[Virgin with rage|Missing Out]] on the great things of Love and Romance; I am not ticked off at them, I pity and feel sorry for them.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:30, 2 February 2010 (CET)}}

===He might as well have ignored it===
{{Email|From: Kali Smith <kali.kitsune@hotmail.com>
Your response based off of this: http://gabmonteiro9389.deviantart.com/art/Sonichu-Remake-Issue-0-7-117026127
"Indeed, but it does not have the same Personality and Charm ONLY the Original Pages of Mine Have."

- - - - - -

Just because you drew it doesn't mean that it has "personality and charm."

That's like me saying, "just because I drew a stick figure it has more personality and charm than you painting of the Sistine Chapel."

I think his has more personality because it IS well planned and it practices composition and great visual verbal layout. His word bubbles are easier to follow and he practices paragraphs and topic structure. Plus he manages to improve upon your own story by providing a verbal structure that's easier to comprehend.

So I personally find his work has more depth and personality than yours currently does.

I would suggest taking drawing classes so your artwork can move beyond the grade-school stage and literary courses to improve your storytelling and plot construction.

Just some tips!

- - - - -

Please don't edit or ignore. :( I'm not trying to be mean, just honest.}}
{{EmailReply|Your point is well-taken.}}

===Seriously, what the hell is an overacting comedian?===
{{Email|From: Evan George <evang7@gmail.com>
I may be an "overacting comedian", but I'm a comedian with lawyers, kiddo.}}
''Chris failed to provide any sort of answer for this letter. This letter foreshadows the closing of the CWCipedia.''

===Yes he is===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Scott Bernard|Scott Bernard]] <marsbasesoldier@yahoo.com>
Christian,

So you say that you don't mind homosexuals and wouldn't mind associating with them, to wanting them to join the military to get killed in explosions. You are such a heartless bastard.

Just admit the fact you have always hated homosexuals, you've never meant anything positive you've said about them, you just said those things to make yourself look good.

But remember this, those "homos" that you hate with a passion, they are willing to die for their country, something you would never do. Those men are more man then you will ever be. You are nothing but a coward.}}
{{EmailReply|I am not a coward.}}

===A reboot is scheduled===
{{Email|From: Heso Pringles (eastcoastphillywhereyou@gmail.com)

Hey Chris, I think those people asking for a reboot of the Sonichu comic might be onto something, if only to cut down on the number of superfluous characters. There's nothing wrong with using one-off characters or villains (the Pokemon cartoon basically thrived on the Character of the Day formula), but it's another thing entirely when the characters in question show up to do absolutely nothing.

The example that sticks out in my mind are CWCville's Power Rangers. Not only did they get mentioned out of nowhere (they certainly would have been nice to have around back in Episode 13!), but they don't even appear in the episode at all! There is basically no point to characters like that; I bet you don't even know how they are supposed to look or act.}}
{{EmailReply|The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed.}}

===Apologizing deeply===
{{Email|From: Cherry Greg (frog.out@hotmail.com)
Chris,

You created Rosechu in the early 2000s, while the gender changes were added to Pokemon sprites in 2007. All you had to do to quell the questions of Rosechu's gender is say that back when you started the comic, ALL Raichus had pointed tails, and that you would have certainly made sure to give her a rounded tail if those changes existed back then.

Instead, not only did you yell at your fans, and not only did you not do any sort of research into the subject, but you went out of your way to lie to us by altering an image to give the Girl Raichu a rounded tail, when in the unaltered image (that we can all still easily see, by the way) still has the pointed tail.

Chris, we're your fans, and some of us have been with you since 2007. I used to think everyone else was insane for saying they are not being a fan of Sonichu anymore, but if you keep treating us like enemies, I might start considering it as well.}}
{{EmailReply|I apologize deeply, and you have made the point in more accurate words I was looking for. Thank you.}}

==Revisionism==
On 14 February 2010, after the death and rebirth of the CWCipedia, Chris edited Keith Keithson's message, totally rewriting the quotation Keithson refers to. As a result, the message no longer makes the least bit of sense, and Chris's hatemongering is naturally still visible in the page's edit history. It's also still visible in [[Mailbag 49]], where Chris first made the comment that Keithson quoted. The edited message and response read as follows:

{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
"I Am Straight. I would never join the military. Obama should Repeal the policy, although gay, they each have their own abilities, knowledge and experience technologically, combatic or anything great in the heat of the bloody battles. '''Power to the Gays in the Army.'''"

You just admitted that you want people to DIE because you don't like their sexuality.

Well, I think that settles it. You're a terrible person.}}.{{EmailReply|I am a lot nicer than that; you should hang out with me in person and get to know me better.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 51

2017-02-07T03:32:40Z

RedVine01: /* ACCEPT THE FACTS and Lay Off */

'''Mailbag 51''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 31 [[January 2010]], with this mailbag uploaded by the sysop, instead of by Chris (as in Mailbag 50). It was answered on 1 [[February 2010]]. Remarkably, Chris did not edit, delete, or reject a single email. This was the last Mailbag Chris would answer before the CWCipedia was taken down by a legal challenge from [[Evan|Evan George]]. He wouldn't manage to upload any more responses for two weeks.

Highlights from this mailbag included Chris demanding delicious cell phones, blaming the FCC for his determination to show sex to children, and hinting at [[Sonichu 11|Issue Eleven]] being some sort of insane combination of a reboot and a clip show.

Two weeks after Chris originally answered this Mailbag, he went back and heavily edited the second message in a futile attempt to cover up some of his homophobic remarks.

==Answered==

===Chris defends stealing exact lines of dialogue by stealing exact lines of dialogue===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Gil Gerard|Gil Gerard]] <gilsemailaddy@yahoo.com>
You call yourself a "creative genius." Creative geniuses come up with completely original ideas all on their own. You, however, borrow everything in your comic from other sources. Sonic, Pokemon, Transformers, Family Guy...every bit of your comic comes from somewhere else. You even copy exact lines of dialogue from these sources. This is not being a creative genius.

If you could come up with something all on your own, without including things you saw elsewhere, what would it be? I think it would be interesting see a CWC production of a comic that didn't steal anything from other comics, TV shows, or games.

--Gil}}
{{EmailReply|I stand by my work.

And when YOU actually invent the [[Cleveland Show|Edible Cell Phone]], the iRitz; give me a call on your cracker, then eat the phone, and I'll answer the question better.}}

===Working on it===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, your recent video is still inadequate.

You did not apologize for the threats you made against Alec, and you made it obvious that you only want to apologize to get something you want--apologies need to be selfless in order to count(that means you can't ask for anything in return).

appearing to be rude?

And you didn't just "seem to be" rude, you WERE rude.

Editing SOME letters? Overall, you've edited or deleted around seventy letters. That's not "Some". At least twice you deleted half a mailbag.

Don't like it when people criticize you? Too bad, that's what fame does. Suck it up and accept it.

Able to take criticism to a certain point? So that means you can't handle it. All TRUE artists know that they have to take criticism seriously.}}
{{EmailReply|I am working hard on improving my acceptance of harshest criticisms.}}

===ACCEPT THE FACTS and Lay Off===
{{Email|From: Stephany Miller <smokerchick1970@hotmail.com>
Hello, Christian

I have to admit I was rather dismayed that you deleted my email without so much as responding to it or even putting it in the Rejected Mailbag. However, I have seen your recent video and you make it apparent that you are willing to give "nice responses" instead of just refusing to acknowledge emails like a spoiled child. Since you have expressed concern that these emails have made you slow in the mind, I will try to explain my email so your autistic mind can understand it.

1. You have fooled for such a long time into believing Rosechu was female.
2. One method of your deception was naming the male Raichu from which Rosechu was created "Girl Raichu."
3. It is obvious that this Raichu was male because of its pointed tale. You have changed this but the original is still on your site.
4. You were so obsessive about Rosechu's femininity that it fooled a lot of your fans.
5. Having Rosechu's masculinity revealed in her offer of her pickle to Simonla is an interesting plot point.
6. It will be fascinating to see how this turns out.

Question: How will Rosechu's pickle affect her relationship with Sonichu. Is Sonichu a closet homosexual as I have suspected.

If you want to stop losing fans I suggest you respond to your fan's emails.

Stephany}}
{{EmailReply|1) [[List of Chris's Lies|I am Not fooling anyone]]; THE RAICHU WAS ACTUALLY ALL FEMALE. Your questions are unbiased, and outrageous. I WISH you would just ACCEPT THE FACTS and Lay Off.}}

===Perspectives and all that===
{{Email|From: Derek Shinobu <derek_chu64@yahoo.com>
Dear Christian Weston Chandler;

I have just stumbled upon your works pretty recently and offer my sincere criticism and advice.

Your art is colorful and sometimes amusing, Christian. However, it is also poor in a technical sense. Characters seldom remain a consistent size, your sense of perspective is skewed, and the panels are sometimes so crowded as well as badly laid out, that it becomes hard to follow what is happening.

While this can be excused in the case of a young child's artwork, you are a man twenty seven years of age with aspirations of doing this professionally. Am I right in saying that you wish to be a professional comic book writer/artist? There is a difference between child-like and childish.

Now, with all that being said, here's my advice. Why don't you go back to college and enroll in an art course or two? You would have to cut down on buying videogames and sex related paraphernalia, but if drawing is what you plan to do with your life, why not take it seriously and try to improve? If you're truly passionate about your art, a few hundred dollars every month should not be a big sacrifice for you.

I am fully aware there are professional artists out there that have never taken an art course, but if you are honest with yourself, Christian, you'll notice their art is on a different level from yours.

I truly believe that if you learn the basics, your art would improve a hundred-fold and silence all those critics who say you cannot draw better than a third-grader. Yes, you would have to swallow your pride and admit to yourself that your art is not as good as you thought, but Christian, no one gets better without first realizing they need to get better.

And think of the benefits. You would actually have something to wake up for everyday. You could start showering regularly. You could start socializing again. You would even know the correct date instead of being five days off like in your [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|last video]] (It's January 30th, Chris, not 25th). Just don't do silly things like spreading around a newsletter or wearing a sign, and try not to make the female students uncomfortable. Get out there into the world and make something of yourself, Christian Weston Chandler, before life passes you by completely.

Good Luck,
Derek}}
{{EmailReply|[[Chris and art|I have taken over 15 art classes]] in my lifetime, learned perspectives and all that. I stand by my work.}}

===He gives no care===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:The Notorious B.I.G.|Biggie]]
"How many fans do you think Asperchu has? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+. A: 0-10"

Yeah, about that. According to the hit counter(that exists on all wikis), his front page has been accessed 61,774 times since it's creation a month or so ago(it counts multiple hits from the same person).

I don't think 1-10 fans could possibly manage that. Oh, and by the way, more than 10 people have sent letters talking about how much more they like Asperchu, so you're wrong.

Likewise, your front page has been accessed some 200,000 times over the last six months. Having 1,000,000+ fans cannot possibly generate this few hits.

You've probably got around 500 fans (You had around 3000, but Issue 10 knocked 2500 of them out of your circle and Asperchu was waiting to pull them in), and 3000 trolls. You're fairly irrelevant, actually.}}
{{EmailReply|I give no care to POLLS and such; I continue with my work, and answer my messages with tought. Give me a break.}}

===The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault===
{{Email|From: Leslie Triballo <lesliepony@yahoo.com>
Chris,

When you said, "Children will likely be seeing [panty shots and genitals] in real life, so mellow out and let them learn a bit," that's not your decision to make. That's up to the parents, and you are not the parents of the kids reading this comic. You claim this is a "TV-Y7" comic, but in order for a program to earn a TV-Y7 rating, certain things are not allowed at all. Depictions of sex and sexual organs are not allowed at all, even if censored. Innuendo is also not allowed at all. When parents let their kids watch something rated TV-Y7, they do so expecting it will not contain those things.

Your censored comic is much more like a TV-PG or TV-14 program. You need to make this known, or else a parent could sue you for exposing their child to filth and being dishonest about the rating.

--Leslie}}
{{EmailReply|Don't blame me, blame the FCC; they are letting up on their ratings and mellowing out.}}

===An invitation===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
"I Am Straight. I would never join the military. Let Obama Repeal the policy, then the homos can go die in explosions."

You just admitted that you want people to DIE because you don't like their sexuality.

Well, I think that settles it. You're a terrible person.}}
{{EmailReply|I am a lot nicer than that; you should hang out with me in person and get to know me better.}}

===Chris pities someone===
{{Email|From: lovelyrainbow6@aol.com
Dear Chris,

My name is Kayla and as an asexual I saw that in one of your previous mailbags that you are ticked off by the asexual community. It bewilders me and I'd like to ask why does it bother you? Please respond. Have a great day.}}
{{EmailReply|Asexuals are [[Virgin with rage|Missing Out]] on the great things of Love and Romance; I am not ticked off at them, I pity and feel sorry for them.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:30, 2 February 2010 (CET)}}

===He might as well have ignored it===
{{Email|From: Kali Smith <kali.kitsune@hotmail.com>
Your response based off of this: http://gabmonteiro9389.deviantart.com/art/Sonichu-Remake-Issue-0-7-117026127
"Indeed, but it does not have the same Personality and Charm ONLY the Original Pages of Mine Have."

- - - - - -

Just because you drew it doesn't mean that it has "personality and charm."

That's like me saying, "just because I drew a stick figure it has more personality and charm than you painting of the Sistine Chapel."

I think his has more personality because it IS well planned and it practices composition and great visual verbal layout. His word bubbles are easier to follow and he practices paragraphs and topic structure. Plus he manages to improve upon your own story by providing a verbal structure that's easier to comprehend.

So I personally find his work has more depth and personality than yours currently does.

I would suggest taking drawing classes so your artwork can move beyond the grade-school stage and literary courses to improve your storytelling and plot construction.

Just some tips!

- - - - -

Please don't edit or ignore. :( I'm not trying to be mean, just honest.}}
{{EmailReply|Your point is well-taken.}}

===Seriously, what the hell is an overacting comedian?===
{{Email|From: Evan George <evang7@gmail.com>
I may be an "overacting comedian", but I'm a comedian with lawyers, kiddo.}}
''Chris failed to provide any sort of answer for this letter. This letter foreshadows the closing of the CWCipedia.''

===Yes he is===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Scott Bernard|Scott Bernard]] <marsbasesoldier@yahoo.com>
Christian,

So you say that you don't mind homosexuals and wouldn't mind associating with them, to wanting them to join the military to get killed in explosions. You are such a heartless bastard.

Just admit the fact you have always hated homosexuals, you've never meant anything positive you've said about them, you just said those things to make yourself look good.

But remember this, those "homos" that you hate with a passion, they are willing to die for their country, something you would never do. Those men are more man then you will ever be. You are nothing but a coward.}}
{{EmailReply|I am not a coward.}}

===A reboot is scheduled===
{{Email|From: Heso Pringles (eastcoastphillywhereyou@gmail.com)

Hey Chris, I think those people asking for a reboot of the Sonichu comic might be onto something, if only to cut down on the number of superfluous characters. There's nothing wrong with using one-off characters or villains (the Pokemon cartoon basically thrived on the Character of the Day formula), but it's another thing entirely when the characters in question show up to do absolutely nothing.

The example that sticks out in my mind are CWCville's Power Rangers. Not only did they get mentioned out of nowhere (they certainly would have been nice to have around back in Episode 13!), but they don't even appear in the episode at all! There is basically no point to characters like that; I bet you don't even know how they are supposed to look or act.}}
{{EmailReply|The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed.}}

===Apologizing deeply===
{{Email|From: Cherry Greg (frog.out@hotmail.com)
Chris,

You created Rosechu in the early 2000s, while the gender changes were added to Pokemon sprites in 2007. All you had to do to quell the questions of Rosechu's gender is say that back when you started the comic, ALL Raichus had pointed tails, and that you would have certainly made sure to give her a rounded tail if those changes existed back then.

Instead, not only did you yell at your fans, and not only did you not do any sort of research into the subject, but you went out of your way to lie to us by altering an image to give the Girl Raichu a rounded tail, when in the unaltered image (that we can all still easily see, by the way) still has the pointed tail.

Chris, we're your fans, and some of us have been with you since 2007. I used to think everyone else was insane for saying they are not being a fan of Sonichu anymore, but if you keep treating us like enemies, I might start considering it as well.}}
{{EmailReply|I apologize deeply, and you have made the point in more accurate words I was looking for. Thank you.}}

==Revisionism==
On 14 February 2010, after the death and rebirth of the CWCipedia, Chris edited Keith Keithson's message, totally rewriting the quotation Keithson refers to. As a result, the message no longer makes the least bit of sense, and Chris's hatemongering is naturally still visible in the page's edit history. It's also still visible in [[Mailbag 49]], where Chris first made the comment that Keithson quoted. The edited message and response read as follows:

{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
"I Am Straight. I would never join the military. Obama should Repeal the policy, although gay, they each have their own abilities, knowledge and experience technologically, combatic or anything great in the heat of the bloody battles. '''Power to the Gays in the Army.'''"

You just admitted that you want people to DIE because you don't like their sexuality.

Well, I think that settles it. You're a terrible person.}}.{{EmailReply|I am a lot nicer than that; you should hang out with me in person and get to know me better.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 50

2017-02-07T03:29:00Z

RedVine01: /* Good writing sucks */

On 30 [[January 2010]], [[Chris]] uploaded '''Mailbag 50''', containing questions picked out by himself. It was the first mailbag not uploaded by the Sysop. Oddly, none of the "letters" were actually emails; Chris simply responded to a conversation a group of [[trolls|users]] had on a [[Sonichu Forum|Sonichu fan forum]].

As such, Chris didn't so much respond to individual letters, as lines of conversation. Although these letters were all cherry-picked by Chris to focus on how [[Chris and his ego|awesome]] he was, or to support his war against [[Asperchu]], there were still plenty of letters that sarcastically mocked him, with Chris [[Naive|none the wiser]]. The funniest was probably Dr. [[Wikipedia:Cthulhu|Cthulhu]], who outright mocked Chris's entire life, but in such a way as to stroke his [[ego]] enough for Chris to thank him for his input. Chris also bolded parts of most of the letters to put focus on specific points, or to downplay the negative things people had been saying about him (or positive things they had been saying about Asperchu). The note at the top implies that Chris had deliberately chosen a few harsh letters so he wouldn't seem like such a pussy.

Highlights include two [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and religion|"Holier Than Thou"]] cretins believing that ads saying "[[Family Guy|Seth MacFarlane]] supports gay marriage" would [[Tomgirl Saga|"Turn]] [[Gaybian|them gay"]], people who [[Lie|DEFINITELY]] aren't Chris showering him with utter praise to the point of [[Chris and religion|worship]], while expressing hate for [[Asperchu]] so exaggerated it becomes comical, someone defending the [[Chris and art|artwork]] of [[Sonichu]], something that nobody other than Chris himself, would do, and more [[Duck|duck-sucking]] comments.

==Special note==

{{EmailReply|This mailbag is one that I have personally put together to show EVERYONE the BEST examples of how Letters in the Mailbag Should be phrased, thought and written. Please take the following examples to heart when writing future letters to me at the [[Cwcipedia]]. In a nutshell, though, the recent letters were JUST TOO DARN HARSH and [[autism|CONFUSING]]. These here are [[Lie|nearly harsh,]] but more comprehensible to me. 
I am only doing this once, and these have come from a [[Honest Content|True]], [[Death threats|Good]] and Loyal Sonichu Fan Forum Site.

Thank you, and Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler}}

==Letters==

===Asperchu causes homosexuality===
{{Email|From: Dr. [[Wikipedia:Cthulhu|Cthulhu]] I try not to be a [[homo]]phobe, but I myself have struggled with homosexuality, and the gay ads on [[CWCipedia]] are NOT helping. They're gone for now, thanks to Alec Benson Leary (probably the only good thing he's ever done), but it's kind of worse. The other day out of curiosity I clicked and '''read some [[Asperchu]] and [[Simonchu]]. Terrible comic''', but the homosexuality in it aroused me, brought back old feelings and I couldn't help but...do it to myself. If Chris doesn't make Alec take them down I may have to stop reading Sonichu forever!}}

===Especially in children===
{{Email|From: zap2daxtreme '''Yeah those ads were terrible'''. As a devout Christian, I try to be accepting and understanding but those ads were very explicit. I thought about writing Chris a letter in protest for letting those ads be placed on CWCkipedia. One day, '''my little brother almost saw them. He could have turned into a homosexual just by looking at them!'''}}

===The beauty of dickless ads===
{{Email|From: stacieee

um, i kno this is gonna make me real unpopular around here, but i've actually started goin to the asperpedia when the ads on cwcipedia are bad

'''asperpedia ISN'T AS GOOD AS CWCIPEDIA, the big CWC will always own my heart lol!''' but at least their ads are under control and they don't have all like dicks and stuff.}}

===Straight girls hate dicks===
{{Email|From: carissamae
'''Ughhhhhh! I agree so much! I feel bad because it seems like Christian C. isn't able to get rid of any of these ads and they are ruining his site! He really needs to get rid of those ads because [[Boyfriend-free girls|straight girls]] like me get grossed out when they have to see so many horrible ads like that.'''

Did you see the ads that had so many penises in them? Oh my godddd!}}
===Retarded chimpanzee colors===
{{Email|From: valentina
'''Yeah the Asperpedia isn't as good because it's not about Sonichu''', but it's got a ton more articles and it looks a lot better...I hate the colors Chris chose for the CWCIPEDIA, it looks like something a color-blind [[Slow-in-the-mind|retarded]] chimpanzee picked out of a crayon box.

Though I really don't care much about Asperchu, it does seem that Alec gives a lot of effort to his fans, he uploads a lot of content every day and is very polite when replying to fan mail. So I think he should be respected for that.}}

{{EmailReply|In an immediate response to you, I have read notes from people complaining about the classic background art. I will take votes from future letters up till the end of February, 2010; Should the background be of '''A single Solid Color, Character Images''' or '''What?''' Mailbags beyond this 50 will count towards the votings for this issue. --ChrisChanSonichu 17:29, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Chris the humble===
{{Email|From: foofs '''Alec wishes he was as popular as Big CWC''' but he does upload alot of content all the time and is very polite so kudos to him, but '''he's still got nothing on CWC'''.}}

{{EmailReply|[[Chris and his ego|I could not personally agree more]], and I am doing what I can to have Alec's "Manager", [[Mao]], REMOVE all of his ads from this, my Cwcipedia. It is a struggling task, especially in verbal exchange; it is like [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|talking to a brick wall]]. But maybe with your inputs, they will finally understand, take them down and leave us be with the Cwcipedia as it should be. --ChrisChanSonichu 17:20, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

==The "Chris's art sucks on purpose" emails==

{{Email|From: zap2daxtreme
Ok, I know a lot of you might not agree with this, but I'm kind of disappointed about Chris's mailbag behavior. I mean, I know '''he must get a lot of mail from people trying to troll him and it stresses him out''', but that's no reason to be so rude with HONEST fans! For most of us Sonichu fans, if not all, that is our only means of communication with the CWC himself. I've wanted to send letters but I'm kind of worried he might misunderstand and yell at me.

Anyone else?}}

{{Email|From: Dr. Cthulhu
'''Chris has NOT gone mad with power! He's a very sensitive and [[Abusive babysitter|disturbed]] genius and you can't expect him to act like a bland normal person! He's avant garde, he does strange things that don't make sense with [[Lie|some purpose in mind]]. His entire life is his art, and as he says, his art speaks for him. The [[Chris and art|seemingly crude childish style]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] is done, not because he can't draw, but to make a statement'''. Some of the "questionable" videos he made, like where he does the naughty with with the naughty doll, or drinks his...you know...are done because he strives to break down boundaries of "normalcy" and "morality" and "common sense", because these ideas are a lie constructed by the corporate elite to keep us down and make us normal.

His terse, unpleasant cwcipedia responses are his attempt to redefine the relationship between the master and the followers. So we aren't forced to rely on him, but on ourselves!}}
''[[Jackie]] made a very similar claim much later.''<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref>
{{Email|From: xxros3ychuxx i think '''the purpose behind the use of a child-like artistic style is to invoke the feel of childhood imagination'''. who didnt used to scribble funny doodles about their favorite cartoon characters when they were little? for me sonichu '''reminds me of being a little kid and not having to worry about grown up stuff like college and [[money]] and my [[Wendy's|stupid dead-end job]]. thats why i like it so much'''.}}

{{Email|From: lucywatson Me too! My little brother, whom suffers from [[Slow-in-the-mind|Down's Syndrome]]], draws in the same exact style, and it's nice to see someone draw like him! '''My little brother gets so much inspiration from Chris because his art is just like the popular Sonichu! I think that's why Chris draws in such a childish, and in some ways slow in the mind way. He wishes to be an inspiration''' to mentally handicapped children everywhere!}}

{{Email|From: Dr. Cthulhu
'''Chris challenges you to change your ideas about what constitutes "art". He's very post modern, always pushing the envelope of what we perceive of as "quality".'''

'''Are yo brave enough''' to make yourself stupider '''to follow him into the creative world he wishes to lead us? I, for one, AM!'''

Seriously, it takes a lot of talent to draw in such an intentionally crude and childish manner.}}

{{Email|From: Politails
I kind of wish he'd buy a drawing tablet for his computer and learn to draw digitally just so we could get comic pages faster. Coloring in a full page in marker takes forever.

In photoshop, all you have to do is make a layer under your outlines, pick your color, use the paintbrush to close any gaps in the outline, and use the paintbucket tool (click a few times so it bleeds under the inside edge of the outline) with "use all layers" selected and BAM! you've filled a whole shape with flat color in two seconds. There's more advanced ways, but this is what I usually do and it's really quick.

'''You guys are right though, the childlike-style is part of the charm and it wouldn't be Sonichu without it.'''}}

{{EmailReply|I deeply apologize for being rude in some of my responses to Mailbag Letters, but between you all, you have theorized correctly; I am not mad with power, I do feel sensitive and can take Harshest Criticism ONLY to a Certain Level. And I do feel that I AM a disturbed creative genius; between my life with Autism, real life events and people when and who have taunted and tortured me, the Online Internet tortures of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, ALL of the Trolls deceiving me with [[BlueSpike|pretending to be Women]] and Friends just to get the [[Nudes|Naked Content]] they have conned me out of, Having trouble separating True Person from Troll on the Internet through Typed Letters and such... I am a Very Complex Person; Avant Garde, as '''Dr. Cthulhu''' puts it. And the Trolls ONLY THINK they know me, but they have NEVER met me In Person in Real Life, much less LEARN how much of a Caring, Trustworthy Person I am. If I did not have to deal with such tortures, I would be as Bland as Alec and his bunch. How Bland would my comics be if I had not have to suffer from all of [[Cherokian Clan|MY OWN Trail of Tears]].

--ChrisChanSonichu 17:47, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Good writing sucks===

{{Email|From: xxros3ychuxx

dunno if this is exactly the right forum for this topic but it had to be mentioned eventually lol! what do you guys think of all the sonichu spin-off comics (or '''fanfiction comics''', if you prefer) that are around these days?

personally i sometimes read asperchu but '''after the [[Chaotic Combo|chaotic combo]] got killed off i was so sad i just couldnt stand it anymore!!'''

it was really poignant and dramatic but '''it was so sad (and not to mention so gross-looking!!!) that i just felt too [[stress]]ed to read it anymore!''' at least when people die horribly violent deaths in Chris's comic you just hear about it, [[Asperpedia Four|never see it]] (like [[Ivy]] *shudders*)!!!!!}}

===Yay, Max!===

{{Email|From: valentina
'''I don't care much about Asperchu just because some of the things he does seem to be mean to Chris, like we all know that Sonichu hates pickles but he wrote them into the story anyway'''. But other things are really fun, like I looooove Max, he's so cute! I also think the scenes where Asperchu and Sonichu spend some time together are really cute. I love how they call each other "Joy-boys"!

I wish Christian incorporated more of that [[Homos|male bonding]] / friendship aspect in his stories. I don't know about you girls, but seeing guys acting affectionate and tender really turns me on.}}

===Obviously they didn't notice [[Inos]]===

{{Email|From: carissamae '''I think sometimes Asperchu is mean to Christian W. Chandler like when Asperchu called him [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]! That was not very nice.''' But I think Asperchu teaches some really good lessons and Jivin is such a good character. I wish Christian C. would have some [[Niggos|black]] characters in his comics but he doesn't.}}

===And in closing...===
{{EmailReply|You all are singing with my choir on why Alec's pages are bad. [[Ivy]] was actually a real person in Real Life, and I had thought we'd stay a couple forever, but then she commited Suicide after a series of events. I could not go on drawing her in. To disclose real-life links, I '''Made Up''' [[Lovely Weather]] for my cartoon self; She is not a real person. And her name comes from the Christmas Song, "Sleigh Ride", with the lyric that can be repeated over and over to [[Autism|continue to be good]], "(Come on, it's) Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" "Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" "Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" '''Love Weather, she's a beautiful girl.'''
And as a real-life homophobe, I would rarely draw such closeness between dudes, even in a Platonic Sense; I feel creeped out if I were to even think that. *Shudder* And there are people of other countries and colors within Cwcville, like I have just introduced Cwcville [[Police]] Constable, '''[[Louis Perez]]'''; he's a black dude, yes, and you can see the "bro-han" link I am comfortable drawing and portraying with such.

Anyway, I'll leave this mailbag with that for now; I will answer more mailbag letters in the past three later today. Plus, I have snow on my ground right now, and I should do some more shoveling. :(

Y'all take care, stay safe, and have a good day,

--ChrisChanSonichu 18:02, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

==References==
<references/>
{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 50

2017-02-07T03:18:29Z

RedVine01: /* The "Chris's art sucks on purpose" emails */

On 30 [[January 2010]], [[Chris]] uploaded '''Mailbag 50''', containing questions picked out by himself. It was the first mailbag not uploaded by the Sysop. Oddly, none of the "letters" were actually emails; Chris simply responded to a conversation a group of [[trolls|users]] had on a [[Sonichu Forum|Sonichu fan forum]].

As such, Chris didn't so much respond to individual letters, as lines of conversation. Although these letters were all cherry-picked by Chris to focus on how [[Chris and his ego|awesome]] he was, or to support his war against [[Asperchu]], there were still plenty of letters that sarcastically mocked him, with Chris [[Naive|none the wiser]]. The funniest was probably Dr. [[Wikipedia:Cthulhu|Cthulhu]], who outright mocked Chris's entire life, but in such a way as to stroke his [[ego]] enough for Chris to thank him for his input. Chris also bolded parts of most of the letters to put focus on specific points, or to downplay the negative things people had been saying about him (or positive things they had been saying about Asperchu). The note at the top implies that Chris had deliberately chosen a few harsh letters so he wouldn't seem like such a pussy.

Highlights include two [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and religion|"Holier Than Thou"]] cretins believing that ads saying "[[Family Guy|Seth MacFarlane]] supports gay marriage" would [[Tomgirl Saga|"Turn]] [[Gaybian|them gay"]], people who [[Lie|DEFINITELY]] aren't Chris showering him with utter praise to the point of [[Chris and religion|worship]], while expressing hate for [[Asperchu]] so exaggerated it becomes comical, someone defending the [[Chris and art|artwork]] of [[Sonichu]], something that nobody other than Chris himself, would do, and more [[Duck|duck-sucking]] comments.

==Special note==

{{EmailReply|This mailbag is one that I have personally put together to show EVERYONE the BEST examples of how Letters in the Mailbag Should be phrased, thought and written. Please take the following examples to heart when writing future letters to me at the [[Cwcipedia]]. In a nutshell, though, the recent letters were JUST TOO DARN HARSH and [[autism|CONFUSING]]. These here are [[Lie|nearly harsh,]] but more comprehensible to me. 
I am only doing this once, and these have come from a [[Honest Content|True]], [[Death threats|Good]] and Loyal Sonichu Fan Forum Site.

Thank you, and Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler}}

==Letters==

===Asperchu causes homosexuality===
{{Email|From: Dr. [[Wikipedia:Cthulhu|Cthulhu]] I try not to be a [[homo]]phobe, but I myself have struggled with homosexuality, and the gay ads on [[CWCipedia]] are NOT helping. They're gone for now, thanks to Alec Benson Leary (probably the only good thing he's ever done), but it's kind of worse. The other day out of curiosity I clicked and '''read some [[Asperchu]] and [[Simonchu]]. Terrible comic''', but the homosexuality in it aroused me, brought back old feelings and I couldn't help but...do it to myself. If Chris doesn't make Alec take them down I may have to stop reading Sonichu forever!}}

===Especially in children===
{{Email|From: zap2daxtreme '''Yeah those ads were terrible'''. As a devout Christian, I try to be accepting and understanding but those ads were very explicit. I thought about writing Chris a letter in protest for letting those ads be placed on CWCkipedia. One day, '''my little brother almost saw them. He could have turned into a homosexual just by looking at them!'''}}

===The beauty of dickless ads===
{{Email|From: stacieee

um, i kno this is gonna make me real unpopular around here, but i've actually started goin to the asperpedia when the ads on cwcipedia are bad

'''asperpedia ISN'T AS GOOD AS CWCIPEDIA, the big CWC will always own my heart lol!''' but at least their ads are under control and they don't have all like dicks and stuff.}}

===Straight girls hate dicks===
{{Email|From: carissamae
'''Ughhhhhh! I agree so much! I feel bad because it seems like Christian C. isn't able to get rid of any of these ads and they are ruining his site! He really needs to get rid of those ads because [[Boyfriend-free girls|straight girls]] like me get grossed out when they have to see so many horrible ads like that.'''

Did you see the ads that had so many penises in them? Oh my godddd!}}
===Retarded chimpanzee colors===
{{Email|From: valentina
'''Yeah the Asperpedia isn't as good because it's not about Sonichu''', but it's got a ton more articles and it looks a lot better...I hate the colors Chris chose for the CWCIPEDIA, it looks like something a color-blind [[Slow-in-the-mind|retarded]] chimpanzee picked out of a crayon box.

Though I really don't care much about Asperchu, it does seem that Alec gives a lot of effort to his fans, he uploads a lot of content every day and is very polite when replying to fan mail. So I think he should be respected for that.}}

{{EmailReply|In an immediate response to you, I have read notes from people complaining about the classic background art. I will take votes from future letters up till the end of February, 2010; Should the background be of '''A single Solid Color, Character Images''' or '''What?''' Mailbags beyond this 50 will count towards the votings for this issue. --ChrisChanSonichu 17:29, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Chris the humble===
{{Email|From: foofs '''Alec wishes he was as popular as Big CWC''' but he does upload alot of content all the time and is very polite so kudos to him, but '''he's still got nothing on CWC'''.}}

{{EmailReply|[[Chris and his ego|I could not personally agree more]], and I am doing what I can to have Alec's "Manager", [[Mao]], REMOVE all of his ads from this, my Cwcipedia. It is a struggling task, especially in verbal exchange; it is like [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|talking to a brick wall]]. But maybe with your inputs, they will finally understand, take them down and leave us be with the Cwcipedia as it should be. --ChrisChanSonichu 17:20, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

==The "Chris's art sucks on purpose" emails==

{{Email|From: zap2daxtreme
Ok, I know a lot of you might not agree with this, but I'm kind of disappointed about Chris's mailbag behavior. I mean, I know '''he must get a lot of mail from people trying to troll him and it stresses him out''', but that's no reason to be so rude with HONEST fans! For most of us Sonichu fans, if not all, that is our only means of communication with the CWC himself. I've wanted to send letters but I'm kind of worried he might misunderstand and yell at me.

Anyone else?}}

{{Email|From: Dr. Cthulhu
'''Chris has NOT gone mad with power! He's a very sensitive and [[Abusive babysitter|disturbed]] genius and you can't expect him to act like a bland normal person! He's avant garde, he does strange things that don't make sense with [[Lie|some purpose in mind]]. His entire life is his art, and as he says, his art speaks for him. The [[Chris and art|seemingly crude childish style]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] is done, not because he can't draw, but to make a statement'''. Some of the "questionable" videos he made, like where he does the naughty with with the naughty doll, or drinks his...you know...are done because he strives to break down boundaries of "normalcy" and "morality" and "common sense", because these ideas are a lie constructed by the corporate elite to keep us down and make us normal.

His terse, unpleasant cwcipedia responses are his attempt to redefine the relationship between the master and the followers. So we aren't forced to rely on him, but on ourselves!}}
''[[Jackie]] made a very similar claim much later.''<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref>
{{Email|From: xxros3ychuxx i think '''the purpose behind the use of a child-like artistic style is to invoke the feel of childhood imagination'''. who didnt used to scribble funny doodles about their favorite cartoon characters when they were little? for me sonichu '''reminds me of being a little kid and not having to worry about grown up stuff like college and [[money]] and my [[Wendy's|stupid dead-end job]]. thats why i like it so much'''.}}

{{Email|From: lucywatson Me too! My little brother, whom suffers from [[Slow-in-the-mind|Down's Syndrome]]], draws in the same exact style, and it's nice to see someone draw like him! '''My little brother gets so much inspiration from Chris because his art is just like the popular Sonichu! I think that's why Chris draws in such a childish, and in some ways slow in the mind way. He wishes to be an inspiration''' to mentally handicapped children everywhere!}}

{{Email|From: Dr. Cthulhu
'''Chris challenges you to change your ideas about what constitutes "art". He's very post modern, always pushing the envelope of what we perceive of as "quality".'''

'''Are yo brave enough''' to make yourself stupider '''to follow him into the creative world he wishes to lead us? I, for one, AM!'''

Seriously, it takes a lot of talent to draw in such an intentionally crude and childish manner.}}

{{Email|From: Politails
I kind of wish he'd buy a drawing tablet for his computer and learn to draw digitally just so we could get comic pages faster. Coloring in a full page in marker takes forever.

In photoshop, all you have to do is make a layer under your outlines, pick your color, use the paintbrush to close any gaps in the outline, and use the paintbucket tool (click a few times so it bleeds under the inside edge of the outline) with "use all layers" selected and BAM! you've filled a whole shape with flat color in two seconds. There's more advanced ways, but this is what I usually do and it's really quick.

'''You guys are right though, the childlike-style is part of the charm and it wouldn't be Sonichu without it.'''}}

{{EmailReply|I deeply apologize for being rude in some of my responses to Mailbag Letters, but between you all, you have theorized correctly; I am not mad with power, I do feel sensitive and can take Harshest Criticism ONLY to a Certain Level. And I do feel that I AM a disturbed creative genius; between my life with Autism, real life events and people when and who have taunted and tortured me, the Online Internet tortures of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, ALL of the Trolls deceiving me with [[BlueSpike|pretending to be Women]] and Friends just to get the [[Nudes|Naked Content]] they have conned me out of, Having trouble separating True Person from Troll on the Internet through Typed Letters and such... I am a Very Complex Person; Avant Garde, as '''Dr. Cthulhu''' puts it. And the Trolls ONLY THINK they know me, but they have NEVER met me In Person in Real Life, much less LEARN how much of a Caring, Trustworthy Person I am. If I did not have to deal with such tortures, I would be as Bland as Alec and his bunch. How Bland would my comics be if I had not have to suffer from all of [[Cherokian Clan|MY OWN Trail of Tears]].

--ChrisChanSonichu 17:47, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Good writing sucks===

{{Email|From: xxros3ychuxx

dunno if this is exactly the right forum for this topic but it had to be mentioned eventually lol! what do you guys think of all the sonichu spin-off comics (or '''fanfiction comics''', if you prefer) that are around these days?

personally i sometimes read asperchu but '''after the [[Chaotic Combo|chaotic combo]] got killed off i was so sad i just couldnt stand it anymore!!'''

it was really poignant and dramatic but '''it was so sad (and not to mention so gross-looking!!!) that i just felt too [[stress]]ed to read it anymore!''' at least when people die horribly violent deaths in Chris's comic you just hear about it, never see it (like [[Ivy]] *shudders*)!!!!!}}

===Yay, Max!===

{{Email|From: valentina
'''I don't care much about Asperchu just because some of the things he does seem to be mean to Chris, like we all know that Sonichu hates pickles but he wrote them into the story anyway'''. But other things are really fun, like I looooove Max, he's so cute! I also think the scenes where Asperchu and Sonichu spend some time together are really cute. I love how they call each other "Joy-boys"!

I wish Christian incorporated more of that [[Homos|male bonding]] / friendship aspect in his stories. I don't know about you girls, but seeing guys acting affectionate and tender really turns me on.}}

===Obviously they didn't notice [[Inos]]===

{{Email|From: carissamae '''I think sometimes Asperchu is mean to Christian W. Chandler like when Asperchu called him [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]! That was not very nice.''' But I think Asperchu teaches some really good lessons and Jivin is such a good character. I wish Christian C. would have some [[Niggos|black]] characters in his comics but he doesn't.}}

===And in closing...===
{{EmailReply|You all are singing with my choir on why Alec's pages are bad. [[Ivy]] was actually a real person in Real Life, and I had thought we'd stay a couple forever, but then she commited Suicide after a series of events. I could not go on drawing her in. To disclose real-life links, I '''Made Up''' [[Lovely Weather]] for my cartoon self; She is not a real person. And her name comes from the Christmas Song, "Sleigh Ride", with the lyric that can be repeated over and over to [[Autism|continue to be good]], "(Come on, it's) Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" "Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" "Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" '''Love Weather, she's a beautiful girl.'''
And as a real-life homophobe, I would rarely draw such closeness between dudes, even in a Platonic Sense; I feel creeped out if I were to even think that. *Shudder* And there are people of other countries and colors within Cwcville, like I have just introduced Cwcville [[Police]] Constable, '''[[Louis Perez]]'''; he's a black dude, yes, and you can see the "bro-han" link I am comfortable drawing and portraying with such.

Anyway, I'll leave this mailbag with that for now; I will answer more mailbag letters in the past three later today. Plus, I have snow on my ground right now, and I should do some more shoveling. :(

Y'all take care, stay safe, and have a good day,

--ChrisChanSonichu 18:02, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

==References==
<references/>
{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 50

2017-02-07T03:15:21Z

RedVine01: /* Chris the humble */

On 30 [[January 2010]], [[Chris]] uploaded '''Mailbag 50''', containing questions picked out by himself. It was the first mailbag not uploaded by the Sysop. Oddly, none of the "letters" were actually emails; Chris simply responded to a conversation a group of [[trolls|users]] had on a [[Sonichu Forum|Sonichu fan forum]].

As such, Chris didn't so much respond to individual letters, as lines of conversation. Although these letters were all cherry-picked by Chris to focus on how [[Chris and his ego|awesome]] he was, or to support his war against [[Asperchu]], there were still plenty of letters that sarcastically mocked him, with Chris [[Naive|none the wiser]]. The funniest was probably Dr. [[Wikipedia:Cthulhu|Cthulhu]], who outright mocked Chris's entire life, but in such a way as to stroke his [[ego]] enough for Chris to thank him for his input. Chris also bolded parts of most of the letters to put focus on specific points, or to downplay the negative things people had been saying about him (or positive things they had been saying about Asperchu). The note at the top implies that Chris had deliberately chosen a few harsh letters so he wouldn't seem like such a pussy.

Highlights include two [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and religion|"Holier Than Thou"]] cretins believing that ads saying "[[Family Guy|Seth MacFarlane]] supports gay marriage" would [[Tomgirl Saga|"Turn]] [[Gaybian|them gay"]], people who [[Lie|DEFINITELY]] aren't Chris showering him with utter praise to the point of [[Chris and religion|worship]], while expressing hate for [[Asperchu]] so exaggerated it becomes comical, someone defending the [[Chris and art|artwork]] of [[Sonichu]], something that nobody other than Chris himself, would do, and more [[Duck|duck-sucking]] comments.

==Special note==

{{EmailReply|This mailbag is one that I have personally put together to show EVERYONE the BEST examples of how Letters in the Mailbag Should be phrased, thought and written. Please take the following examples to heart when writing future letters to me at the [[Cwcipedia]]. In a nutshell, though, the recent letters were JUST TOO DARN HARSH and [[autism|CONFUSING]]. These here are [[Lie|nearly harsh,]] but more comprehensible to me. 
I am only doing this once, and these have come from a [[Honest Content|True]], [[Death threats|Good]] and Loyal Sonichu Fan Forum Site.

Thank you, and Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler}}

==Letters==

===Asperchu causes homosexuality===
{{Email|From: Dr. [[Wikipedia:Cthulhu|Cthulhu]] I try not to be a [[homo]]phobe, but I myself have struggled with homosexuality, and the gay ads on [[CWCipedia]] are NOT helping. They're gone for now, thanks to Alec Benson Leary (probably the only good thing he's ever done), but it's kind of worse. The other day out of curiosity I clicked and '''read some [[Asperchu]] and [[Simonchu]]. Terrible comic''', but the homosexuality in it aroused me, brought back old feelings and I couldn't help but...do it to myself. If Chris doesn't make Alec take them down I may have to stop reading Sonichu forever!}}

===Especially in children===
{{Email|From: zap2daxtreme '''Yeah those ads were terrible'''. As a devout Christian, I try to be accepting and understanding but those ads were very explicit. I thought about writing Chris a letter in protest for letting those ads be placed on CWCkipedia. One day, '''my little brother almost saw them. He could have turned into a homosexual just by looking at them!'''}}

===The beauty of dickless ads===
{{Email|From: stacieee

um, i kno this is gonna make me real unpopular around here, but i've actually started goin to the asperpedia when the ads on cwcipedia are bad

'''asperpedia ISN'T AS GOOD AS CWCIPEDIA, the big CWC will always own my heart lol!''' but at least their ads are under control and they don't have all like dicks and stuff.}}

===Straight girls hate dicks===
{{Email|From: carissamae
'''Ughhhhhh! I agree so much! I feel bad because it seems like Christian C. isn't able to get rid of any of these ads and they are ruining his site! He really needs to get rid of those ads because [[Boyfriend-free girls|straight girls]] like me get grossed out when they have to see so many horrible ads like that.'''

Did you see the ads that had so many penises in them? Oh my godddd!}}
===Retarded chimpanzee colors===
{{Email|From: valentina
'''Yeah the Asperpedia isn't as good because it's not about Sonichu''', but it's got a ton more articles and it looks a lot better...I hate the colors Chris chose for the CWCIPEDIA, it looks like something a color-blind [[Slow-in-the-mind|retarded]] chimpanzee picked out of a crayon box.

Though I really don't care much about Asperchu, it does seem that Alec gives a lot of effort to his fans, he uploads a lot of content every day and is very polite when replying to fan mail. So I think he should be respected for that.}}

{{EmailReply|In an immediate response to you, I have read notes from people complaining about the classic background art. I will take votes from future letters up till the end of February, 2010; Should the background be of '''A single Solid Color, Character Images''' or '''What?''' Mailbags beyond this 50 will count towards the votings for this issue. --ChrisChanSonichu 17:29, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Chris the humble===
{{Email|From: foofs '''Alec wishes he was as popular as Big CWC''' but he does upload alot of content all the time and is very polite so kudos to him, but '''he's still got nothing on CWC'''.}}

{{EmailReply|[[Chris and his ego|I could not personally agree more]], and I am doing what I can to have Alec's "Manager", [[Mao]], REMOVE all of his ads from this, my Cwcipedia. It is a struggling task, especially in verbal exchange; it is like [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|talking to a brick wall]]. But maybe with your inputs, they will finally understand, take them down and leave us be with the Cwcipedia as it should be. --ChrisChanSonichu 17:20, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

==The "Chris's art sucks on purpose" emails==

{{Email|From: zap2daxtreme
Ok, I know a lot of you might not agree with this, but I'm kind of disappointed about Chris's mailbag behavior. I mean, I know '''he must get a lot of mail from people trying to troll him and it stresses him out''', but that's no reason to be so rude with HONEST fans! For most of us Sonichu fans, if not all, that is our only means of communication with the CWC himself. I've wanted to send letters but I'm kind of worried he might misunderstand and yell at me.

Anyone else?}}

{{Email|From: Dr. Cthulhu
'''Chris has NOT gone mad with power! He's a very sensitive and [[Abusive babysitter|disturbed]] genius and you can't expect him to act like a bland normal person! He's avant garde, he does strange things that don't make sense with some purpose in mind. His entire life is his art, and as he says, his art speaks for him. The [[Chris and art|seemingly crude childish style]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] is done, not because he can't draw, but to make a statement'''. Some of the "questionable" videos he made, like where he does the naughty with with the naughty doll, or drinks his...you know...are done because he strives to break down boundaries of "normalcy" and "morality" and "common sense", because these ideas are a lie constructed by the corporate elite to keep us down and make us normal.

His terse, unpleasant cwcipedia responses are his attempt to redefine the relationship between the master and the followers. So we aren't forced to rely on him, but on ourselves!}}
''[[Jackie]] made a very similar claim much later.''<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref>
{{Email|From: xxros3ychuxx i think '''the purpose behind the use of a child-like artistic style is to invoke the feel of childhood imagination'''. who didnt used to scribble funny doodles about their favorite cartoon characters when they were little? for me sonichu '''reminds me of being a little kid and not having to worry about grown up stuff like college and [[money]] and my [[Wendy's|stupid dead-end job]]. thats why i like it so much'''.}}

{{Email|From: lucywatson Me too! My little brother, whom suffers from [[Slow-in-the-mind|Down's Syndrome]]], draws in the same exact style, and it's nice to see someone draw like him! '''My little brother gets so much inspiration from Chris because his art is just like the popular Sonichu! I think that's why Chris draws in such a childish, and in some ways slow in the mind way. He wishes to be an inspiration''' to mentally handicapped children everywhere!}}

{{Email|From: Dr. Cthulhu
'''Chris challenges you to change your ideas about what constitutes "art". He's very post modern, always pushing the envelope of what we perceive of as "quality".'''

'''Are yo brave enough''' to make yourself stupider '''to follow him into the creative world he wishes to lead us? I, for one, AM!'''

Seriously, it takes a lot of talent to draw in such an intentionally crude and childish manner.}}

{{Email|From: Politails
I kind of wish he'd buy a drawing tablet for his computer and learn to draw digitally just so we could get comic pages faster. Coloring in a full page in marker takes forever.

In photoshop, all you have to do is make a layer under your outlines, pick your color, use the paintbrush to close any gaps in the outline, and use the paintbucket tool (click a few times so it bleeds under the inside edge of the outline) with "use all layers" selected and BAM! you've filled a whole shape with flat color in two seconds. There's more advanced ways, but this is what I usually do and it's really quick.

'''You guys are right though, the childlike-style is part of the charm and it wouldn't be Sonichu without it.'''}}

{{EmailReply|I deeply apologize for being rude in some of my responses to Mailbag Letters, but between you all, you have theorized correctly; I am not mad with power, I do feel sensitive and can take Harshest Criticism ONLY to a Certain Level. And I do feel that I AM a disturbed creative genius; between my life with Autism, real life events and people when and who have taunted and tortured me, the Online Internet tortures of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, ALL of the Trolls deceiving me with [[BlueSpike|pretending to be Women]] and Friends just to get the [[Nudes|Naked Content]] they have conned me out of, Having trouble separating True Person from Troll on the Internet through Typed Letters and such... I am a Very Complex Person; Avant Garde, as '''Dr. Cthulhu''' puts it. And the Trolls ONLY THINK they know me, but they have NEVER met me In Person in Real Life, much less LEARN how much of a Caring, Trustworthy Person I am. If I did not have to deal with such tortures, I would be as Bland as Alec and his bunch. How Bland would my comics be if I had not have to suffer from all of [[Cherokian Clan|MY OWN Trail of Tears]].

--ChrisChanSonichu 17:47, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Good writing sucks===

{{Email|From: xxros3ychuxx

dunno if this is exactly the right forum for this topic but it had to be mentioned eventually lol! what do you guys think of all the sonichu spin-off comics (or '''fanfiction comics''', if you prefer) that are around these days?

personally i sometimes read asperchu but '''after the [[Chaotic Combo|chaotic combo]] got killed off i was so sad i just couldnt stand it anymore!!'''

it was really poignant and dramatic but '''it was so sad (and not to mention so gross-looking!!!) that i just felt too [[stress]]ed to read it anymore!''' at least when people die horribly violent deaths in Chris's comic you just hear about it, never see it (like [[Ivy]] *shudders*)!!!!!}}

===Yay, Max!===

{{Email|From: valentina
'''I don't care much about Asperchu just because some of the things he does seem to be mean to Chris, like we all know that Sonichu hates pickles but he wrote them into the story anyway'''. But other things are really fun, like I looooove Max, he's so cute! I also think the scenes where Asperchu and Sonichu spend some time together are really cute. I love how they call each other "Joy-boys"!

I wish Christian incorporated more of that [[Homos|male bonding]] / friendship aspect in his stories. I don't know about you girls, but seeing guys acting affectionate and tender really turns me on.}}

===Obviously they didn't notice [[Inos]]===

{{Email|From: carissamae '''I think sometimes Asperchu is mean to Christian W. Chandler like when Asperchu called him [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]! That was not very nice.''' But I think Asperchu teaches some really good lessons and Jivin is such a good character. I wish Christian C. would have some [[Niggos|black]] characters in his comics but he doesn't.}}

===And in closing...===
{{EmailReply|You all are singing with my choir on why Alec's pages are bad. [[Ivy]] was actually a real person in Real Life, and I had thought we'd stay a couple forever, but then she commited Suicide after a series of events. I could not go on drawing her in. To disclose real-life links, I '''Made Up''' [[Lovely Weather]] for my cartoon self; She is not a real person. And her name comes from the Christmas Song, "Sleigh Ride", with the lyric that can be repeated over and over to [[Autism|continue to be good]], "(Come on, it's) Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" "Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" "Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" '''Love Weather, she's a beautiful girl.'''
And as a real-life homophobe, I would rarely draw such closeness between dudes, even in a Platonic Sense; I feel creeped out if I were to even think that. *Shudder* And there are people of other countries and colors within Cwcville, like I have just introduced Cwcville [[Police]] Constable, '''[[Louis Perez]]'''; he's a black dude, yes, and you can see the "bro-han" link I am comfortable drawing and portraying with such.

Anyway, I'll leave this mailbag with that for now; I will answer more mailbag letters in the past three later today. Plus, I have snow on my ground right now, and I should do some more shoveling. :(

Y'all take care, stay safe, and have a good day,

--ChrisChanSonichu 18:02, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

==References==
<references/>
{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 50

2017-02-07T03:12:39Z

RedVine01: /* Special note */

On 30 [[January 2010]], [[Chris]] uploaded '''Mailbag 50''', containing questions picked out by himself. It was the first mailbag not uploaded by the Sysop. Oddly, none of the "letters" were actually emails; Chris simply responded to a conversation a group of [[trolls|users]] had on a [[Sonichu Forum|Sonichu fan forum]].

As such, Chris didn't so much respond to individual letters, as lines of conversation. Although these letters were all cherry-picked by Chris to focus on how [[Chris and his ego|awesome]] he was, or to support his war against [[Asperchu]], there were still plenty of letters that sarcastically mocked him, with Chris [[Naive|none the wiser]]. The funniest was probably Dr. [[Wikipedia:Cthulhu|Cthulhu]], who outright mocked Chris's entire life, but in such a way as to stroke his [[ego]] enough for Chris to thank him for his input. Chris also bolded parts of most of the letters to put focus on specific points, or to downplay the negative things people had been saying about him (or positive things they had been saying about Asperchu). The note at the top implies that Chris had deliberately chosen a few harsh letters so he wouldn't seem like such a pussy.

Highlights include two [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and religion|"Holier Than Thou"]] cretins believing that ads saying "[[Family Guy|Seth MacFarlane]] supports gay marriage" would [[Tomgirl Saga|"Turn]] [[Gaybian|them gay"]], people who [[Lie|DEFINITELY]] aren't Chris showering him with utter praise to the point of [[Chris and religion|worship]], while expressing hate for [[Asperchu]] so exaggerated it becomes comical, someone defending the [[Chris and art|artwork]] of [[Sonichu]], something that nobody other than Chris himself, would do, and more [[Duck|duck-sucking]] comments.

==Special note==

{{EmailReply|This mailbag is one that I have personally put together to show EVERYONE the BEST examples of how Letters in the Mailbag Should be phrased, thought and written. Please take the following examples to heart when writing future letters to me at the [[Cwcipedia]]. In a nutshell, though, the recent letters were JUST TOO DARN HARSH and [[autism|CONFUSING]]. These here are [[Lie|nearly harsh,]] but more comprehensible to me. 
I am only doing this once, and these have come from a [[Honest Content|True]], [[Death threats|Good]] and Loyal Sonichu Fan Forum Site.

Thank you, and Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler}}

==Letters==

===Asperchu causes homosexuality===
{{Email|From: Dr. [[Wikipedia:Cthulhu|Cthulhu]] I try not to be a [[homo]]phobe, but I myself have struggled with homosexuality, and the gay ads on [[CWCipedia]] are NOT helping. They're gone for now, thanks to Alec Benson Leary (probably the only good thing he's ever done), but it's kind of worse. The other day out of curiosity I clicked and '''read some [[Asperchu]] and [[Simonchu]]. Terrible comic''', but the homosexuality in it aroused me, brought back old feelings and I couldn't help but...do it to myself. If Chris doesn't make Alec take them down I may have to stop reading Sonichu forever!}}

===Especially in children===
{{Email|From: zap2daxtreme '''Yeah those ads were terrible'''. As a devout Christian, I try to be accepting and understanding but those ads were very explicit. I thought about writing Chris a letter in protest for letting those ads be placed on CWCkipedia. One day, '''my little brother almost saw them. He could have turned into a homosexual just by looking at them!'''}}

===The beauty of dickless ads===
{{Email|From: stacieee

um, i kno this is gonna make me real unpopular around here, but i've actually started goin to the asperpedia when the ads on cwcipedia are bad

'''asperpedia ISN'T AS GOOD AS CWCIPEDIA, the big CWC will always own my heart lol!''' but at least their ads are under control and they don't have all like dicks and stuff.}}

===Straight girls hate dicks===
{{Email|From: carissamae
'''Ughhhhhh! I agree so much! I feel bad because it seems like Christian C. isn't able to get rid of any of these ads and they are ruining his site! He really needs to get rid of those ads because [[Boyfriend-free girls|straight girls]] like me get grossed out when they have to see so many horrible ads like that.'''

Did you see the ads that had so many penises in them? Oh my godddd!}}
===Retarded chimpanzee colors===
{{Email|From: valentina
'''Yeah the Asperpedia isn't as good because it's not about Sonichu''', but it's got a ton more articles and it looks a lot better...I hate the colors Chris chose for the CWCIPEDIA, it looks like something a color-blind [[Slow-in-the-mind|retarded]] chimpanzee picked out of a crayon box.

Though I really don't care much about Asperchu, it does seem that Alec gives a lot of effort to his fans, he uploads a lot of content every day and is very polite when replying to fan mail. So I think he should be respected for that.}}

{{EmailReply|In an immediate response to you, I have read notes from people complaining about the classic background art. I will take votes from future letters up till the end of February, 2010; Should the background be of '''A single Solid Color, Character Images''' or '''What?''' Mailbags beyond this 50 will count towards the votings for this issue. --ChrisChanSonichu 17:29, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Chris the humble===
{{Email|From: foofs '''Alec wishes he was as popular as Big CWC''' but he does upload alot of content all the time and is very polite so kudos to him, but '''he's still got nothing on CWC'''.}}

{{EmailReply|I could not personally agree more, and I am doing what I can to have Alec's "Manager", [[Mao]], REMOVE all of his ads from this, my Cwcipedia. It is a struggling task, especially in verbal exchange; it is like [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|talking to a brick wall]]. But maybe with your inputs, they will finally understand, take them down and leave us be with the Cwcipedia as it should be. --ChrisChanSonichu 17:20, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

==The "Chris's art sucks on purpose" emails==

{{Email|From: zap2daxtreme
Ok, I know a lot of you might not agree with this, but I'm kind of disappointed about Chris's mailbag behavior. I mean, I know '''he must get a lot of mail from people trying to troll him and it stresses him out''', but that's no reason to be so rude with HONEST fans! For most of us Sonichu fans, if not all, that is our only means of communication with the CWC himself. I've wanted to send letters but I'm kind of worried he might misunderstand and yell at me.

Anyone else?}}

{{Email|From: Dr. Cthulhu
'''Chris has NOT gone mad with power! He's a very sensitive and [[Abusive babysitter|disturbed]] genius and you can't expect him to act like a bland normal person! He's avant garde, he does strange things that don't make sense with some purpose in mind. His entire life is his art, and as he says, his art speaks for him. The [[Chris and art|seemingly crude childish style]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] is done, not because he can't draw, but to make a statement'''. Some of the "questionable" videos he made, like where he does the naughty with with the naughty doll, or drinks his...you know...are done because he strives to break down boundaries of "normalcy" and "morality" and "common sense", because these ideas are a lie constructed by the corporate elite to keep us down and make us normal.

His terse, unpleasant cwcipedia responses are his attempt to redefine the relationship between the master and the followers. So we aren't forced to rely on him, but on ourselves!}}
''[[Jackie]] made a very similar claim much later.''<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref>
{{Email|From: xxros3ychuxx i think '''the purpose behind the use of a child-like artistic style is to invoke the feel of childhood imagination'''. who didnt used to scribble funny doodles about their favorite cartoon characters when they were little? for me sonichu '''reminds me of being a little kid and not having to worry about grown up stuff like college and [[money]] and my [[Wendy's|stupid dead-end job]]. thats why i like it so much'''.}}

{{Email|From: lucywatson Me too! My little brother, whom suffers from [[Slow-in-the-mind|Down's Syndrome]]], draws in the same exact style, and it's nice to see someone draw like him! '''My little brother gets so much inspiration from Chris because his art is just like the popular Sonichu! I think that's why Chris draws in such a childish, and in some ways slow in the mind way. He wishes to be an inspiration''' to mentally handicapped children everywhere!}}

{{Email|From: Dr. Cthulhu
'''Chris challenges you to change your ideas about what constitutes "art". He's very post modern, always pushing the envelope of what we perceive of as "quality".'''

'''Are yo brave enough''' to make yourself stupider '''to follow him into the creative world he wishes to lead us? I, for one, AM!'''

Seriously, it takes a lot of talent to draw in such an intentionally crude and childish manner.}}

{{Email|From: Politails
I kind of wish he'd buy a drawing tablet for his computer and learn to draw digitally just so we could get comic pages faster. Coloring in a full page in marker takes forever.

In photoshop, all you have to do is make a layer under your outlines, pick your color, use the paintbrush to close any gaps in the outline, and use the paintbucket tool (click a few times so it bleeds under the inside edge of the outline) with "use all layers" selected and BAM! you've filled a whole shape with flat color in two seconds. There's more advanced ways, but this is what I usually do and it's really quick.

'''You guys are right though, the childlike-style is part of the charm and it wouldn't be Sonichu without it.'''}}

{{EmailReply|I deeply apologize for being rude in some of my responses to Mailbag Letters, but between you all, you have theorized correctly; I am not mad with power, I do feel sensitive and can take Harshest Criticism ONLY to a Certain Level. And I do feel that I AM a disturbed creative genius; between my life with Autism, real life events and people when and who have taunted and tortured me, the Online Internet tortures of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, ALL of the Trolls deceiving me with [[BlueSpike|pretending to be Women]] and Friends just to get the [[Nudes|Naked Content]] they have conned me out of, Having trouble separating True Person from Troll on the Internet through Typed Letters and such... I am a Very Complex Person; Avant Garde, as '''Dr. Cthulhu''' puts it. And the Trolls ONLY THINK they know me, but they have NEVER met me In Person in Real Life, much less LEARN how much of a Caring, Trustworthy Person I am. If I did not have to deal with such tortures, I would be as Bland as Alec and his bunch. How Bland would my comics be if I had not have to suffer from all of [[Cherokian Clan|MY OWN Trail of Tears]].

--ChrisChanSonichu 17:47, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Good writing sucks===

{{Email|From: xxros3ychuxx

dunno if this is exactly the right forum for this topic but it had to be mentioned eventually lol! what do you guys think of all the sonichu spin-off comics (or '''fanfiction comics''', if you prefer) that are around these days?

personally i sometimes read asperchu but '''after the [[Chaotic Combo|chaotic combo]] got killed off i was so sad i just couldnt stand it anymore!!'''

it was really poignant and dramatic but '''it was so sad (and not to mention so gross-looking!!!) that i just felt too [[stress]]ed to read it anymore!''' at least when people die horribly violent deaths in Chris's comic you just hear about it, never see it (like [[Ivy]] *shudders*)!!!!!}}

===Yay, Max!===

{{Email|From: valentina
'''I don't care much about Asperchu just because some of the things he does seem to be mean to Chris, like we all know that Sonichu hates pickles but he wrote them into the story anyway'''. But other things are really fun, like I looooove Max, he's so cute! I also think the scenes where Asperchu and Sonichu spend some time together are really cute. I love how they call each other "Joy-boys"!

I wish Christian incorporated more of that [[Homos|male bonding]] / friendship aspect in his stories. I don't know about you girls, but seeing guys acting affectionate and tender really turns me on.}}

===Obviously they didn't notice [[Inos]]===

{{Email|From: carissamae '''I think sometimes Asperchu is mean to Christian W. Chandler like when Asperchu called him [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]! That was not very nice.''' But I think Asperchu teaches some really good lessons and Jivin is such a good character. I wish Christian C. would have some [[Niggos|black]] characters in his comics but he doesn't.}}

===And in closing...===
{{EmailReply|You all are singing with my choir on why Alec's pages are bad. [[Ivy]] was actually a real person in Real Life, and I had thought we'd stay a couple forever, but then she commited Suicide after a series of events. I could not go on drawing her in. To disclose real-life links, I '''Made Up''' [[Lovely Weather]] for my cartoon self; She is not a real person. And her name comes from the Christmas Song, "Sleigh Ride", with the lyric that can be repeated over and over to [[Autism|continue to be good]], "(Come on, it's) Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" "Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" "Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" '''Love Weather, she's a beautiful girl.'''
And as a real-life homophobe, I would rarely draw such closeness between dudes, even in a Platonic Sense; I feel creeped out if I were to even think that. *Shudder* And there are people of other countries and colors within Cwcville, like I have just introduced Cwcville [[Police]] Constable, '''[[Louis Perez]]'''; he's a black dude, yes, and you can see the "bro-han" link I am comfortable drawing and portraying with such.

Anyway, I'll leave this mailbag with that for now; I will answer more mailbag letters in the past three later today. Plus, I have snow on my ground right now, and I should do some more shoveling. :(

Y'all take care, stay safe, and have a good day,

--ChrisChanSonichu 18:02, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

==References==
<references/>
{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 55

2017-02-07T03:04:41Z

RedVine01: /* Draconian fun! */

'''Mailbag 55''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] in the early hours of 4 [[February 2010]]. Due to the closure of the CWCipedia on 8-14 February, the response to these emails was delayed even more than usual.

Chris continued to rail against ''[[Asperchu]]'' whenever it came up, but is that really such a surprise? Chris also got stuck on the whole [[muscle bra]] issue, and assured us that NO ONE, EVER, IN THE ENTIRE WORLD wants to ever once see a man's bare chest, even suggesting that there should be a law forcing [[Chris|fat men]] to wear bras, and regular-sized men to wear shirts at all times.

==Answered==
===That's far from the only reason===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Anna Malle|Anna Malle]] <annamalle@gmail.com>

Chris, I just read your latest CWCipedia update.

A REAL MAN DOES NOT ASK OTHERS TO FIGHT HIS BATTLES FOR HIM. If you have problems with [[Mao]], you need to arrange a meeting with him, then discuss things over and solve your differences YOURSELF, in person, non-violently.

Asking your fans to e-mail and threaten your enemy is extremely cowardly.

Drawing a comic in which you [[Gun Comic|shoot your enemy]] is cowardly. For that matter, shooting someone who is not physically threatening you is extremely cowardly.

Women HATE cowards. Women want to feel protected and safe. If you can't even protect your [[CWCipedia|website]], how are you going to protect your woman?

That is why you can't get a woman. Because you are a COWARD and a LIAR.

Right now, no woman in the world would find you attractive.

I beg you to prove me wrong. Show me that you can act like a man and solve your own problems without violence, but by using your intellect. If you can do that, I will consider driving to Ruckersville and meeting you and your parents at your home and making myself available for a date.

Sincerely,

Anna}}
{{EmailReply|If I knew where my foes lived, I would go there myself, but I do not know where they live specifically with a Street Address. I am not a coward, and I keep my [[lies]] to a Minimum. I'll bet YOU are the cowardly one. For All I know, you are likely to be [[BlueSpike|a cowardly Male pretending to be a woman]] and trying to tick me off. Nice try.}}

===On the afterlife===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Dale Gribble|Rusty Shackleford]] <rustymcshackleford@live.com>

Dearest Christian,

We all know that you are very religious, but I have a question to ask you. What do you think that Heaven and Hell are like? Do you think that in Heaven people wear flowing robe and fly around all day? Do you think that Hell is fiery and everyone there is being [[Homos|poked in the rear]] by [[Beel|Satan]]. I would just really love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks,

Rusty}}
{{EmailReply|You've just answered your own question; I am in agreement with you on what heaven and hell are like.}}

===Porn doesn't count===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Charles Aznavour|Charles Aznavour]] <Sazaku@aol.com>

Dear Christian,

I've been a reader of both your [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] and your (arguably far superior) sister series [[Asperchu]] for a long time now. However, I can't stand your weak, [[naive]] way of handling things. You take forever to update your comics when they are SUPPOSED to be daily, when you do post comic pages they are ridiculously anti-climactic. Honestly, I'd think the fight between [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and Chris would be far more exciting and epic, considering how much you have villified her. See, things like that are why Asperchu is more popular.

On another note, I am curious to know, since your [[Birthday|B-Day]] will be coming up in a couple weeks, what you plan on doing. Frankly, I'm impressed. If I were still a [[virgin]] at 30 I'd have killed myself by now. There is no worse torment for a man. Hell, its pathetic enough to still be a virgin at TWENTY! You're a real trooper to still have never seen a vagina. On you're B-Day, I hope to wish you a happy 30th!}}
{{EmailReply|Asperchu is NOT MINE, and I do not care to have any claim on it at all; Asperchu belongs to Alec Benson Leary. Real Life happens; I have [[chores]] around the house, errands to run and whatnot to deal with. I am going to be 28, Twenty Eight, Years Old this year. I have seen a lot of pussy in porn, for your information. And what I do on my birthday is between me, my family and my friends.}}

===No you won't===
{{Email|From: wizfisher1@aol.com

Chris, you claim you have taken many art classes. You claim you understand composition, shading and perspective. You claim you draw like a retarded 7 year old to make a artistic statement, and you really are a artistic genius. Well its time to prove you are the artist you claim to be.I challenge you to create a drawing that is conventionally good, that shows you can draw as well as a professional artist if you want to. Any medium will do, except markers, as long as its good and not in your "retarded 7 year old" style. Please post your proof on your front page for everyone to see.}}
{{EmailReply|I will consider that.}}

===Wait, what?===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Robert Neville|Robert Neville]] <theassburgers@hotmail.co.uk>

You're a bad Christian. Any good Christian would know that Jesus lived his life in order to teach humankind to love one another and to always turn the other cheek when somebody hurts us. No matter what that person may do to us, we - as Christians - are supposed to be able to forgive and to forget. Even when the Romans had Jesus nailed to the cross, bleeding profusely after merciless torture, he begged for God to forgive them, for they knew not what they had done!

You completely ignore this and continue to practise your Satanic rituals by placing curses upon your victims! You are an [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|open practicioner of witchcraft]], which you should know is condemned by Christianity due to its evil origins and purposes.

I implore you to be a better follower of the Christian faith. Instead of making these people suffer your wrath, one of the deadly sins, you should forgive them as Jesus would.

Remember -

"And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us"}}
{{EmailReply|You are right.}}

===On brassieres===
{{Email|From: Jay Hugebicep <brohotti@hotmail.com>
Chris, your site and your shenanigans always brighten up my day. But what's up with wearing a [[bra]]? Come on, you're a man, right? When was the last time you went to the beach? Girls like [[Liquid Chris|chiseled pecs and six pack abs]], Chris, not buddha bellies and manboobs. One is a sign of [[health]] and [[I AM STRONG|strength]], the other is a sign of weakness and laziness. If you want to attract potential sweethearts, you have to improve your looks.

Start with some pushups and lose the breasts. I saw [[CWC 30 Push Ups|that video where you tried to do 30 pushups]] and I was laughing so hard because you couldn't even do one properly.

Here is a video demonstrating the proper way to do a pushup.
{{#ev:youtube|Km1v-jbeNsw}}

I reccommend you start out with the modified pushup shown that the woman used, because you probably aren't strong enough to do regular ones. Try five pushups three times a day for a week, then up it by two every week after until you're fit enough to handle a regular pushup.

Guarantee you'll ditch the bra in a month.}}
{{EmailReply|[[Sports bra photo series|Yes, I do wear a bra]], I am a size 42. A LOT of Men in this world, fat, average or slender, have Man-Boobs. And NO ONE EVER WANTS TO SEE ANY MALE CHEST IN PUBLIC. IT IS VERY GROSS. I would motion with [[Barack Obama|the President]] to make it Mandetory for all men with boobs to wear a bra, and for all other males to Wear A Shirt when they go out jogging, swimming or exercising where those people would have USED TO NOT wear a shirt. As with Women, SOME THINGS ARE LEFT BETTER AS A MYSTERY.}}

===On uploading===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, as of my writing, you have failed to upload one comic per day for the past five days.

Drawing the page does not count. You must upload it for it to count as an update.

And if you want to please Alec, you can remove the part of [[Episode 21]] that involves Asperchu and agree to remove [[Simonla]] in a way that pleases [[Evan]]. You can use [[Sonichu 11|the reboot]] to replace her with another character altogether.}}
{{EmailReply|All that is being taken under great consideration. Thank you.}}

===Draconian fun!===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:I Am Legend (novel)|Robert Neville]] <theassburgers@hotmail.co.uk>

If you were some kind of 'Great Director' in real life, and had the ability to create new laws without them having to be approved by the government and its people (much like [[CWCville|Hitler]] was able to do in the 1930's and early 1940's), what new laws would you create?

Let's aim for, say... 5 or 10 laws. Heck, go for more if you can think up that many. Remember - you can make absolutely any law you want.}}
{{EmailReply|Fair enough. 1) NO [[tobacky|SMOKING]] ALLOWED AT ALL. 2) Men are required to wear a shirt and/or a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]] at all times in public (No One EVER wants to see a dude's chest, and some things are better left a mystery). 3) ALL Women who are committed with their own boyfriend, regardless of marriage or not, [[Women's rights|will be required to wear]] a non-flashy BF/GF [[Ring]] at all times. That's all I have for now.}}

===The most appropriate answer ever===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Dr. Tran|Dr. Tran]]

"I have stated before that when ONE finds their Match, they KEEP Each Other; I am NOT going to separate the Couple."

One, that's not how it works in real life.

Two, they do NOT match. You yourself have stated that they are OPPOSITES. Why not use the reboot to make it so she never existed, then replace her with a Grass-type Rosechu? People who have things in common get along better than people who don't.

Also, relationships do not work that way. You don't get dreams that tell you who you're supposed to bone to create whom, you have to figure it out for yourself.}}
{{EmailReply|What is YOUR Dream Career?}}

===Yeah, polls suck===
{{Email|From: Leeland

"I have read [[Moon-Pals]], and I feel that it is more like Moon-Dorks the way Sean draws and Portrays their Events so Grotesquely. "

It's still funnier and better drawn than Sonichu. Also, it's fanbase is roughly eight times the size of your own, according to polls.}}
{{EmailReply|I pay no attention to polls.}}

===Chris the jackass===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:John Shaft|John Shaft]] <[[Wikipedia:Blaxploitation|blaxploitation]]x@gmail.com>
Hey Chris,

Recently when someone has called you out on being lazy or mean or a hypocrite in the mailbag, you say that if we knew you in person, we'd like you. I don't get it, so I'd like it if you'd clear some things up for me and your fans;

1. Why do you act like a jackass on the [[internet]] and then whine about how nobody really understands you? What do you expect us to think about you after all your bullshit?

2. How do you act different in real life?

3. Don't you think you should just try to be nicer online instead of waste people's time?

I'm sorry but I don't buy this "you just don't know the real me" crap. Some [[trolls]] actually have met you face-to-face, and they claim that you're pretty much the same self-absorbed, obnoxious prick you are on the internet. If you can show us the kind, loving, gentleman you claim to be, the trollings would most likely cease and your former fans would come back to you. I apologize if you take offense to any of this, but that isn't really my problem anymore.

Sincerely,

John Shaft}}
{{EmailReply|1) How would you feel if you were mistreated as much as I have online? And you do NOT know me in real life, so you can NOT understand me fully. 2) I am nicer, more kind and all-around humble, good gentleman. 3) Yes.}}

===Man the harpoons!===
{{Email|From: [http://www.youtube.com/user/HarryPartridge Harry Partridge]
Hey Chris,

Have you considered dating a really fat girl? They give it up easy as fuck, I should know. I've nailed some fatties before and I look like shit.

Love Harry}}
{{EmailReply|I only go up to a certain limit, like I would very rarely date a woman who weighed more than 250 lbs.}}
''A woman who weighed anywhere near 250 lbs (114 kg) would be severely obese, unless she was well over six feet tall.''

{{Mailbag}}

Homos

2017-02-07T03:00:08Z

RedVine01:

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
{{Quote|I Am Straight; [[China|Vaginas]] and [[Plush breasts|Boobies]] Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.|[[Chris]].<ref>[[Mailbag 31]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|There Was a time before I realized mine being a female soul trapped in a male-born body, when I was homophobic. But I became better aware of these kind and open-hearted people, and learned how understanding and compassionate they are, and with that, losing the homophobia, I felt more at peace with myself and those around me.|Chris evolves.<ref>[[January_2017_Facebook_Posts#Open_letter_to_Barron_Trump]]</ref>}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which Chris referred to gay people--almost invariably gay males--nigh exclusively at the time of his discovery. He has also occasionally used phrases such as "those of the wrong orientation", because even saying the word "homo" or "gay" makes him uncomfortable.

From the very beginning of his [[internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|STAY STRAIGHT]]" have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects. Chris's ire for male homosexuals is confusing, since they, of all people, pose the least threat to his [[Love Quest]], and seems to be motivated entirely by his own sexual insecurities.

At various times, most recently following his coming out as a "[[Tomgirl|transgender]] [[Gaybian|lesbian]]" in [[2014]], Chris has seemingly recanted previous homophobic statements, claiming to have become fully supportive of equality and human rights. In nearly every case, this has been at the request of a gal-pal or sweetheart, and like most of his [[Chris and remorse|apologies]] has been insincere. He apparently remains repulsed and unnerved by homosexual men on a personal level.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris. <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause him to be "leered off the straight path." His terror has been such that he was barely able to bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He seems to struggle with intrusive homosexual thoughts; he has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle]] without being "freaked out."<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris revealed that he had to cover a section of his computer screen with a piece of paper so that he could browse the [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s pro-gay advertisements. Nothing will get Chris angrier than being "mislabeled" as a homo.

Chris's homophobia seems to have emerged sometime in 2006, as his very earliest expression of anxiety is his classic "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|Future Message]]," released in February 2007. At no time before this, either in his comics or his [[diary]] or his private correspondence, does he make any reference to homosexuality. It apparently grew out of the complex stew of his [[noviophobia]], his failure to achieve his Love Quest, his admiration for [[My Little Pony|girly toys]], his own [[Chris and gender|gender confusion]], his loathing of [[muscle bra|male bodies]], and [[autism]].
[[File:Taking it in the briefs.JPG|thumb|right|You're making this painfully obvious, Chris.]]

==Defenses against becoming a homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by stomping on [[vibrator]]s and showcasing index cards indicating their straightness on their shoes.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Chris uses many strange and totemic objects, from a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|poster of Sailor Moon]] to his [[Optimus Prime]] toy, to aggressively assert his straightness. Chris has said that he stared at his Sailor Moon poster every day to stave off temptations of homosexuality. The centerfold poster of [[The Simpsons#Marge poster|Marge Simpson's ''Playboy'' edition]] was another of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she is a married cartoon character does not seem to have dissuaded him. Chris also subscribes to ''Playboy'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to breasts and china.

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) fans sent Chris questions on the CWCipedia asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tended to suggest what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas included thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarified that one needs not buy a Sailor Moon poster in particular; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick. He believes these rituals are necessary to "maintain" sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris has also encouraged women to not [[Alcohol|drink]], [[Tobacky|smoke]], or be physically abused while pregnant, as this could cause the baby to be born homosexual, as if Homosexuality is like Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. <ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref> Chris is also convinced that his chances of becoming homosexual have been raised because he did not engage in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education</ref> hence his oft-stated regret that he did not get [[dating education]] classes in high school, and his recommendation that they be made available for the youth of today.

Considering the myriad of habits Chris has cultivated which are highly atypical for a straight male, it seems certain that he has been at the very least sexually confused. He is demonstrably very aggressive and insecure about it.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris is not simply afraid of becoming a homo himself--he hates all gay men. This animosity seems to result primarily from his fear of them (and all men) and their supposed ability or desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] - all of them - as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] must be gay. It also reveals a belief that all of his trolls are male, since Chris uses "homo" exclusively in reference to gay men. This notion is not only [[Vivian Gee|demonstrably false]], but in fact [[Chris and reality|completely delusional]], since many of Chris's greatest trolls have been women, and Chris knows it. This exercise in selective memory likely stems from Chris's loathing of male [[JERKS]] and inversely-proportional adoration of [[Gal-pals|women]].

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59.}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic the Hedgehog|one of his own abominations]].]]

Chris further went on to propose a bizarre form of conversion therapy in which all gay men would be imprisoned and made to sleep with both female offenders and prostitutes, thereby "reprogramming" them. Interestingly, a certain [[wikipedia:Heinrich Himmler|Herr Himmler]] had a similar idea, suggesting that "pink triangle" concentration camp prisoners be forced to sleep with (female) camp prostitutes.

{{quote|[they would be] taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts.|Chris, 2 January 2009, 12:01.}}

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his sagacious opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He advocated the lifting of the ban, but only so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

The universe of [[CWCville]] has also seen an anti-gay jihad. On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality is found, the people involved are [[Chris and the Law|arrested and fined heavily]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris's comic self travels into the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (An idea stolen from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Gay|Family Gay]]"). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Wikipedia:Sonderbehandlung|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]]). Chris then brought back to the present enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight. Ironically, a vaccination traditionally consists of introducing a small amount of the disease to a body to stimulate the immune system - so Chris unwittingly implied that his blood contains the dreaded homo virus.

A classic case of Chris's homophobia surfaced in the struggle over advertisements on his CWCipedia. Jack Thaddeus purchased ad space on the CWCipedia to put up 2 ads. One featured Peter Griffin of ''Family Guy'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights; and the other promoted Mexican tourism with a cartoon [[pickle]]. Chris unsurprisingly went berserk, stating:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''|Chris.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In protest, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site calling for a boycott of Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. To sum it up, in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that would ''not'' win him any gay friends whatsoever.

As with his fear of becoming a homo, the origins of Chris's deep homophobia are not clear. Certainly [[Bob]] had an influence, as the [[Matthew Noble call]] showed that he had the same kind of deranged hatred and prejudice as his son. On 7 January 2010, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight:

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

If this is true, Chris made no reference to it at the time, restricting his hatred solely to the heterosexual male [[JERKS]]. It is certainly ironic considering his more recent views on lesbianism. It also adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by his being childish and whiny about not getting his way with ''one'' woman who turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

Chris knows that his homophobia is unpopular with his fans, and he has often tried to persuade the public that he respects homosexuals for "who they are". However, he usually betrays his sincere intolerance of different lifestyles soon afterward - often within the same statement. On [[CWC Update 18 February 2009|18 February 2009]], for example, Chris issued one of his retractions of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" just as he respects his gal pals and his [[List of Chris's sweethearts|sweethearts]]. However, this was done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|a mere month later]] Chris was [[Chris and religion|reciting verses from the Bible]] to once again preach against the vile homos.

On 14 [[June 2009]], Chris posted a "[[music]]" [[video]] called "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]", which, in his tradition of ruining everything you ever loved, is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s satirical song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''. Later on that same day, he published an [[I'm Sorry, Dude|apology]] for the video and insisted that he likes gays who "ac...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Chris was of course unaware of the various other career accomplishments of Stephen Fry. It seems that this apology was only posted in the first place for the sake of his gal-pal [[Kim]]'s boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

On 12 January 2010, Chris again appeared to soften his stance, saying that "I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within CWCville." However, in the same breath Chris clarified, "gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> The reason why gay marriage isn't an "equal relationship right" is not readily apparent.

More recently, not long after coming out as a "male lesbian," Chris felt deeply uncomfortable with being perceived as "gay" or "homo," and in Facebook statements attempted to exclude gay men from his crusade for gender equality. No doubt under the influence of his new sweetheart [[Catherine]] and other gal-pals, Chris retracted these clumsy statements, apologizing for the umpteenth time.

{{quote|I am accepting of the gays as people, just like most any individual person. Seriously, you all be proud of who you are. All I ask is not to find any reason to feel anger towards anyone of any orientation, race or whatever, based on their individual actions or offense as an individual person of self. Also, please disregard all of my past and Way past thoughts of turning gays straight; that was very wrong of me. I am very sorry about that, and continue to be true and proud of yourselves for who you are, as I am Very Proud of myself for being a Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body).|Chris, surprisingly redeemable.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

He also announced his support for the Human Rights Campaign, going so far as to say that homophobics "are none other than the Cyber-Bullies and Internet Trolls who put hate on the innocent around the world; Young and Old. Some of which even put pressure on to force you into being something you know fully that you are Not!" Interestingly, his prior notion that all trolls are homosexuals had been completely reversed to the idea that they're all homo''phobes'', illustrating that Chris still believes that any detractor of his is part of an organized movement and [[Chris and his Ego|has personal flaws]].

However, if the past is any judge, the end of his relationship with Catherine has no doubt caused his homophobia to resurface. He confirmed in late 2014 that despite the fact that comic Chris shares his new gender identity, [[Reldnahc]], his opposite, is still an evil violent homo.<ref>Commissions</ref>

On 26 [[June 2015]], the Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of gay marriage. Chris, shockingly enough, reacted very positively towards this:

{{Quotebox|Congratulations to us all for Nationwide Marriage Equality! If a holiday be made of June 26, 2015, how about ‪#‎PridependenceDay‬!

Now, I still require my Sweetheart to be my future wife. As a ‪#‎Lesbian‬ ‪#‎Transwoman‬, I do feel I am compatible with Any woman.

And No, I am not mistaken. I have been genuinely feeling and [[List of Chris's lies|identifying like a woman for about my whole lifetime]]. I never could appreciate the [[JERK|male's]] Neanderthal interests. And I felt more appreciative and comprehending of [[Women's Rights|fashions, makeup, shopping]], [[Chris and remorse|empathy]], identifying feelings and [[Death threats|looking to resolve problems]] [[Sub-episodes|reasonably]].

Plus, I have a great deal of [[Chris and Anger|self control]], and I can bring good and pleasant [[semen|tidings]] to an all woman party.

‪#‎LoveWins‬ ‪#‎OneFamily‬ ‪#‎LGBTQ‬ ‪#‎Pridependence‬ ‪#‎Pride‬}}

In [[October 2015]], Chris released a [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|video]] in which he apologizes for his past homophobic statements and iterates that he is now supportive of male homosexuals, while still drilling the point home that Sonichu and Rosechu are straight. He almost simultaneously [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Sonichu 10]] and replaced the fictional gay epidemic with a bizarre [[Nombie-zazis|Nazi zombie]] premise, which still has homophobic implications given the context of the comic.

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'm STRAIGHT! I'm STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE the homos!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''[[List of Chris's lies|I. Am. STRAIGHT!]]'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

===“Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler’s Address to the Homosexuals===
On 6 August 2009, at a time when the trolls were getting the most mileage out of baiting Chris regarding his sexual orientation, Chris posted a wide-ranging, [[Chris and anger|hate-fuelled]] rant on the [[CWCipedia]] which he hoped would clear up all misconceptions. His "Address to the Homosexuals," subtitled "I AM STRAIGHT!!! NOT HOMO; NOT BI; STRAIGHT!!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS!" is a classic statement on the issue. Unfortunately it had no noticeable effect on the trolling. The essay in full:

{{quotebox|
Good day, I write this essay with sound mind to address the major issues that has been bugging me constantly for the past few yeas, The Pressure and '''Stress''' FROM the Homosexual Population.

First off, as I have said OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND '''OVER Infinite Number Of Times''', ''I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, AM STRAIGHT.'' '''[[Tomgirl Saga|No Question or]] [[Gaybian|Shadow of a Doubt, EVER.]]'''

I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; '''NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW.''' Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head. Every time of such pictures’ appearance, ''I feel Queasy and want to Throw Up.'' I humbly apologize for being offensive, but that is how I feel.

As a human being, I have no hard feelings conversing and associating with the homosexuals at any time. Individually, they each have a right to their own opinions, perceptions and peaceful lives. I fully understand and respect that.

''The only thing that really Grinds My Gears Harshly is being '''Wrongfully Labeled as a Homosexual when I am straight.'''''

I am aware of the way I [[Speech impediment|stutter]], space my words and all that from the way I talk, but I assure you, that I sometimes have trouble fully comprehending situations and status at first; it sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, ''I am Sometimes Retarded.''

And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because '''the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY'''; kept down with the ''Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend''. I am not a man who likes confrontations with the guy who has spoken for the woman I’m eying over. And during my High School Years, '''I WAS NAÏVE on the subject of DATING''' (''Bring in Dating Education Classes, and Run them Alongside or Before Sexual Education, and make Dating Education Equally Mandatory)''. [[Honor roll|It had not dawned on me that I NEEDED TO BE DATING until AFTER I had turned Twenty-One-Years Old]], during my Third Year attending Piedmont Virginia Community College.

And my '''Sonichu and Rosechu Comic Pages'''; again, I understand each individual person has their own perception of things, BUT Contrary to the individual perceptions among some people, '''The Comics, Drawings, and ALL Words ALL HAD NO MEANING OF ANYTHING Homosexual Whatsoever!''' I Personally in Real Life AND in the Comic Pages and all that '''PROMOTE BEING STRAIGHT''', No Question or Shadow of a Doubt.

All Those of You have Heavily Wrongfully Misunderstood Parts of All the Comic Pages and all that of such.

'''I, All my Sonichus, Rosechus, and citizens of Cwcville, Virginia, Do Not Appreciate At All Being Wrongfully Labled as homosexuals. IT REALLY INFURIATES ME, Sonichu, Rosechu and EVERYBODY ELSE.'''

I have also heard of My Sonichu being ''written in College Essays that promote homosexuality.'' And even worse, ''promoting him in the Gay Pride Parades.'' '''WRONG LABELS; STOP WRITING OR PROMOTING ME OR MY CHARACTERS AS SUCH!''' ''[[Reldnahc Notsew Niatsirhc|ALL Sonichus Are Straight!]] [[Silvana Rosechu|ALL Rosechus Are Straight!]] I Am Straight! My Comics are STRAIGHT COMICS.'' I, Sonichu and Rosechu, '''We Never Want to be part of ANY AND ALL Homosexual-Promoting Papers or Events, because with EVERY ITEM that is created from NOT OF MY OWN HANDS that EVEN Inklings such Wrongful Labelings upon, ME, Sonichu, Rosechu, and ALL MY STRAIGHT CHARACTERS, WE ARE ALL BEING DISREPECTED!'''

We will Never Take the Misunderstandings, Mislabelings And All The Like Sitting Down.

I, Personally, would RATHER have a PAINFUL Gender-Change Operation than EVER Turn Homosexual.

'''So, to reiterate, I, and 96 % of ALL CHARACTERS, are ALL STRAIGHT!''' ''NEVER EVER CALL me, my comics, or any of MY STRAIGHT Characters GAY!''

<nowiki>*</nowiki>sigh*

And to conclude, while I personally do not care about the homosexual lifestyle that swift, and I personally respect each individual homosexual person as individual human beings, '''The MAIN thing that really Infuriates Me is being called gay. DO NOT EVER Call Me Gay, or EVER Question My Sexual Orientation.
'''

''[[Lie|I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, Am Straight]]. Period.
''

Thank you.}}

==Views on lesbianism==

Whereas Chris's discomfort with homosexual males has been fairly consistent, his views on lesbianism have wildly vacillated. In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, "[[The High School Story]]", his Mary Sue character Terrah LeAnne Yowman is ridiculed and accused of being a lesbian by kids at her high school because she hangs around with male friends. As the work serves as a backstory to the villainous [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], Terrah's bullying may have served as a fictional inverse parallel to the endless accusations of homosexuality lodged by Chris' detractors, illustrating Chris' worldview of implied homosexuality as an insult.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[Creepy stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight [[Christian Weston Chandler|Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 25 July 2009, Chris produced a [[CWC "Boyfriend"|rambling and nonsensical video]] to the tune of Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend". In the middle of the video, Chris sings about the importance of "being straight" and intersperses a "STAY STRAIGHT" caption on a photo of a lesbian couple split in two.

{{quote|
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me!
Hey, you! Hey, you!
You need to be straight, girl!
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend! }}

Later, Chris would gradually revise his former hard-line attitude against lesbians. In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Cwcipedia: Sonichu]</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> Chris may have shoehorned a lesbian character into ''Sonichu'' to appear more tolerant, but his attempt comes off as half-hearted in light of his continual derision of gay men and insistence that Heather hide her sexuality.

In [[Mumble 1]], which took place on the last day of 2009, Chris declared his support for lesbians and reiterated his simultaneous hatred for gay men, stating that he hated [[JERKS]] in general, and how (typically) a porn DVD helped to soften his view on lesbians. In effect, Chris claimed that he supports lesbians because he believes women are beautiful, and hates gay men because men are icky.

{{quote|Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial [dis]courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion...I've uh talked to others before with uh, [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], my uh s-s-Sarah, my girlfriend. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

{{quote|Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

On 28 [[March 2013]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook#Gay Marriage |Facebook message]] whining about repeat media coverage of the Supreme Court's [[:wikipedia:Hollingsworth v. Perry|Proposition 8]] and [[:wikipedia:United States v. Windsor|DOMA]] deliberations. In it, he reiterated his support for lesbians and his disapproval of "the damn homosexual males".

===Chris the lesbian===
[[File:Chris at a gay bar.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's selfie from a gay bar restroom. Disturbing, but unsurprising.]]
On 14 [[August 2014]], Chris posted on his [[Facebook]] page that he himself was now officially a "lesbian-identified man".<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]]</ref> He posted a picture of himself holding an LGBT flag. He stated that "I support the LBT fully; the G.[ay] M.[ale]s are fortunate to be on this boat." On 31 [[October 2014]], Chris spent that [[Halloween]] at a gay bar dressed as a "Groovy 70's Lesbian",<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref> further evidencing his apparent acceptance of homosexuality, in that visiting a gay bar was [[Chris and hypocrisy|THE thing Chris had specified on multiple occasions that he would never do in his life]].

However, as anyone who's even mildly aware of sexuality and gender will tell you, a lesbian male isn't actually a real thing. The idea of a "lesbian in man's body" is just something a guy might google after [[mass debating]], and Chris's citation of '''Yahoo! Answers''' to validate its existence is unpersuasive to say the least. Whether or not Chris has had a turn of heart, and realized the error of his ways when it comes to homosexuality, we'll just have to wait and see. Sexuality seems to be the most powerful governing force in Chris's self-definition, and as such it is perhaps unsurprising that it has changed so dramatically over time, given his utter failure to find his place in the world.

Chris's identification as a lesbian is closely tied to the next subject...

== Chris and transsexuality ==
{{quote|Tranny Pride, Worldwide!|Chris calling himself a derogatory term for transgenders, 14 August 2014<ref>[[Brassieres For Males#Chris comes out]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Die-cis-scum.jpg|thumb|right|Likelier than you think.]][[Image:Chris_15_Aug_2014_changed_profile_pic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris the "Male Lesbian Intersex Transgender."]]

Given that Chris lacks basic [[English]] skills, it shouldn’t be surprising that he has trouble navigating the linguistic minefield of ''transgender'', ''transsexual'', ''transvestite'', ''intersex'', ''bisexual'', ''hermaphrodite'', and his own ''tomgirl''. For someone who hates mislabelings, he sure is sloppy when it comes to these labels. On his [[OKCupid]] profile, when asked, "Would you date a transgender person," he replied, "Yes, as long as she was born female and was still female (or a tomboy)."<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref> He told [[Jackie]] that the fact that he loved wearing women’s clothing did not make him a “transvestite.”<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He told gal-pal [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah Bentley]] that the [[unclit]] made him “bisexual” when he meant intersex; he promptly flipped his shit when Rebeckah asked if he wanted to fuck dudes now.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Introducing the un-clit]]</ref> All of Chris’s claims about sexuality or gender identity need to be viewed through an autistic filter.

That said, Chris has spent many years struggling to articulate his position on transgender topics. In the early years of trolling, he confessed that he was uncomfortable with the idea of transgender people, and made it clear that he was not sexually attracted to them. “I have given thought about the transgenders and transvesites; I do not feel comfortable with them….[D]icks are dicks, and I do not care about them, except for my own,” he wrote in a [[January 2009]] chat.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He later reiterated: “I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.”<ref>[[Mailbag 26#Reusing the same excuses for everything else!]]</ref>

{{quote|I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite.|Classic Chris, 15 January 2010<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Shemales and man-tits]]</ref>}}

Yet somehow, he could not let the issue rest...when [[Wikipedia:Bailey Jay|Bailey Jay]] introduced herself to Chris in a [[Mailbag]] letter, revealing some naughty selfies, Chris’s initial reaction was completely phobic at the sight of this "hermaphrodite." Later though, after Jay let Chris know that he had hurt her feelings, he reached into his shallow well of empathy. "I can relate to how you feel. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I was born female instead, because of some of my emotional, caring, self-conscious thoughts I had in my lifetime. Then I would later remember that God must have made me all straight male for good reasons."<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!]] and [[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref> When Chris looked at this beautiful woman with a large pickle, he saw a distorted reflection of himself. He was not yet ready to abandon his “straight male” identity, though.

After becoming a [[tomgirl]] in 2011, even though he was still officially a "heterosexual" and "proud to be male," some of his words and actions betrayed a deeper gender confusion. He started using women’s restrooms. He told Jackie that he fantasized about "fit[ting] in at a lesbian bar," where he believed he would have no trouble seducing a lesbian and persuading her to bone "in lesbian's position (the scissor-thing) with my dick in her vag."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref> In December 2013 he confessed to Rebeckah, "I wish I was born female, with the possibility of being a lesbian."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life]]</ref> He still seemed unsettled, especially since being a tomgirl wasn’t working to attract a Sweetheart/Soulmate.

On 14 [[August 2014]], he came out publicly, although as what exactly wasn’t certain, given his garbled and inconsistent vocabulary. The initial announcement was that he was "a Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser." Then he said he was a "Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny." Two weeks later he was telling [[Catherine]] that he was a "Lesbian tomgirl transgender male" but also "[[Three-Quarter Woman|three-quarters woman]]." By September he seemed to have settled on "Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body)."<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]], [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Flirt the skirt!]], [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Understanding the whole tomgirl thing]], and [[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Alright, Alright, NOW It's OK to Be Gay]]</ref> In [[April 2015]], apparently no longer a "man," he changed his Facebook pronoun to "she" and his name to "Christine".<ref>[[April 2015 Facebook posts#A new pronoun]]</ref> This month also saw the beginning of a flurry of Facebook "likes" for all sorts of progressive transgender issues, such as restroom choice and gay marriage. Whatever he was, he was certainly proud of it, and wasted no time trying to persuade his new L(G)BT personal army to wage war against local manajerks.

===Does Chris Want the Operation?===
Almost immediately upon being discovered, Chris revealed that he had been giving a lot of thought to contingencies which might require him to lop off his [[duck]]. In 2007 he told [[Megan]], “if I ever stoop down to changing my path [i.e., becoming a homo], I might as well would get a gender change operation.”<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself]]</ref> He also made it clear to anyone who asked that he was literally nauseated by the sight of his own penis (and all other penises). It might seem self-evident, then, that Lesbian Transgender Chris would be eager to undergo sex reassignment surgery. However, in his intellectual discourses on transgender controversies, Chris has expressed some ambivalence. In a February 2009 chat, when asked if transwomen should "go under the knife," Chris replied:

{{quote|Um...[long pause] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh, with both sets of uh, genitals, I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.|Chris, apropos of nothing<ref>[[Mumble 6#On The Transgender Community]]</ref>}}

He similarly told a troll impersonating transgender porn actress Bailey Jay (who also hadn’t asked) that "if I should ever have a hermaphrodite for a child, I would raise that child with the mentality of a boy/man."<ref>[[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref>

For a long time, these were puzzling statements, given his hatred for [[JERKS]] and all manner of pickled cucumbers. As his own gender identity mutated, however, Chris revealed his reasoning. In early 2014, on his OKCupid Q&A, he was faced with the question, "Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?" Chris’s answer was, "Do not perform the surgery." He added,

{{quote|If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).|Chris, exemplifying the wisdom of Solomon<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref>}}

In other words, there were two obstacles in the way of Chris losing his duck. First, a sex change operation wouldn’t provide him with reproductive organs. Since, as a woman, he would not be able to give the birth to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] personally (which is his true fantasy), he must first impregnate someone, as many times as necessary until the appearance of his God-promised daughter. He can’t adopt, because Crystal must come from "blood, tears, and semenal descent."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#10 November]]</ref> He criticized fellow tranny Ahuviya (whom he incorrectly believed to be [[Jack Thaddeus]]) for trying to have the operation, claiming that he "would definitely not be considered any at all a woman--a woman whatsoever" because "he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive [sic] organs. I mean, I want to have children someday. Obviously, he don't."<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref>

In late 2014, he could not persuade a sperm bank, lesbians on a message board, or his friend [[Open Relationship E-mails|Renee]] to serve as the vessel for Crystal.<ref>[[Semen#Donation]]</ref> So for now, its purpose unfulfilled, the Ugly Growth must remain.

The second reason he can’t get the surgery is that the duck is an [[Attraction Sign]]. As much as he loves to crow about being a "Lesbian," Chris wants to be "open to all women, Straight, Bi, and Lesbian." In a [[May 2015]] Facebook Q&A, regarding the operation, he was equivocal, and wrote, "I am exploring making the best of this body for Any Woman born with a vagina." If he wants to be everything for everybody, he will need to hold onto the duck.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#All This and Eye-Contact Too!]] and [[May 2015 Facebook posts#The Mailbag Returns]]</ref>

It should also be noted that Chris doesn’t have a fucking clue how sex reassignment works. In [[June 2015]] he posted an advertisement on Facebook: “I deserve to be a full woman with a full functioning vagina. A- blood type, if anyone wants to put up the money and trade.”<ref>[[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Let's Trade Genitalia]]</ref> As with most things he wants, Chris prefers to sit on his fat lesbian ass and wait for "a Magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Depressed on Christmas]]</ref>

===In CWCville===
Before his slide into “femdom,” Chris used the intersex character [[Silvana]] to symbolize the evil trolls. The evil [[Count Graduon]] told her, “I am going to grant you with the power to transform like a Ditto. My price is that you will have to relinquish your ability to give birth, and you will be upgraded to have both parts. So with the biological upgrade complete, your years of training can begin.”<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook#Episode 18]]</ref> She proceeded to seduce and horrify the tranquil community. After Chris modified his gender identity, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robee Sonichu]] also became a tomgirl, and later a full-fledged male lesbian. In May 2015 he confirmed that [[Comic Chris]] was a “Lesbian Transwoman,” and [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as a D-cup female with “a uterus and ovaries,” possibly to be renamed Chrissy-Chan Rosechu. Then, through the power of his imagination, Chris managed to ''impregnate himself'' with a turkey baster and give birth to twins.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> This scenario is probably as realistic as Chris ever getting a handle on his own gender.

==Evidence against Chris's heterosexuality==
[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't fail at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|[[Niggos|Oh lawd, is dat sum lipstick on Chris?]]]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies ([[Recycling|and eats imaginary man asses]]).}}

[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]
[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png|thumb|Totally not gay at all.]]
[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png|thumb|''One... eyebrow.'']]

Ironically, the [[Autistic dick|harder]] Chris [[I am STRAIGHT|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the less so he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!"<ref>[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]</ref> every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Chris has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref>
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into adulthood, and began this collecting way before ''Friendship is Magic'' premiered.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Call 1|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his "friends" were female and he never slept with any of them (despite his best efforts to do so).
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN chat with Julie]], Chris revealed that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* In the chat where [[Julie Reveals Herself]], when [[Max]] told Chris to suck his duck, Chris asked, "How can I do yours if I'm all the way over here?" instead of simply saying "no", although this could simply be his autistic mind trying to cope with hyperbole. Also, later on in the same chat, Chris attempted to show Max his duck when the latter began to taunt him with claims that he had a pussy. While you might be thinking that it's just a typical knee-jerk reaction from Chris, an [[Julie_Reveals_Herself:_The_Prequel|earlier chat]] reveals a part where Chris ''offers'' to show Max his dick.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put a large dildo up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* Chris once drew [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a male character, on his duck.
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref> Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.
* According to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|receipts]] uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for anal beads as a gift with an order of pornography. Chris, however, lied, claiming that the anal beads as well as a vibrator were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. Chris kept said vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs|sex logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* His absolute revulsion to seeing other men's penises. If Chris was truly straight, he would not be uncomfortable seeing other men's penises because he would have no interest in them sexually.
* On [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009]], Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a [[gaybian]]. He later issued a retraction, which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* When Julie finally revealed herself as a [[pedofork|13 year old boy]], Chris's immediate response was "I did not know you were a 13 year old!" making it sound like he's shocked by the age but not the least bit concerned about the fact that he's a boy.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by [[Nudes|close-up pictures of his buttcheeks and anus]], not that anybody of any orientation would find it erotic.
* The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]] is pink.
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]], which are essentially hair clips, which are essentially women's fashion accessories.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* Chris wears a [[bra]]. In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" at the CWCipedia, you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he owns a copy of the first ''[[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|Sex and the City]]'' movie when he showcased his then-current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving all the characters a [[Wikipedia:Queer Eye|free makeover]].
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from the virus, implying that Chris is "infected" with homosexuality if his blood could be used to make a vaccine.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a duck.
* In the above same Trollin Train post, he mentioned achieving comeuppance before vomiting, indicating he had an erection, and thus was sexually aroused from being sodomized by a man.
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [[:File:Punchylaylalove.jpg|wearing panties and a bra]].
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks suspiciously like an erect penis.
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].
* He voluntarily dressed up as a woman, went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals and vice-versa, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public. When Bob learned of Chris's antics, his immediate response was to call him a "fag".
* On 29 April 2012, Chris 'reveals' that the gay camp experience story he made up as [[JenkinsJinkies]] was a fake. Aside from the fact that [[Naive|absolutely nobody fell for this at all]], it does leave this question: Out of all of the stories that Chris could have made up under a fake identity, why did he go with one where he gets sodomized at [[Pedofork|seven]]?
* [[It's not that cold]] shows Chris infamously saying, "Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me." Take note that Chris is dressed in a mini-skirt and hikes it up to reveal his grotesque man ass at the camera, indicating that he'd like to be taken from behind, all in an attempt to re-enact ''The Silence of the Lambs''.
* Whenever anyone calls Chris out on his [[Women's rights|objectification of women's bodies]], he is always quick to back-pedal and say he appreciates women more for their personalities, unaware that personalities are the key reason for relationships between gay men and their female friends.
* Chris created a modified version of the song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''The Boondocks'' called "Don't Trust Any Homos Over There". However, the character who sings the original song is Uncle Ruckus, a self-loathing black man. This makes Chris look like a self-loathing homosexual.
* The fact that he thinks that ''staring at a poster'' will keep himself straight implies he has homosexual thoughts and fantasies that he wants to keep in check. The irony of the fact that he thinks staring hard enough at a poster of Sailor Moon, a gay icon, will magically suppress these homoerotic urges is lost on him.
* After [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] became Chris's equal and opposite as the result of the latter's brief immersion in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], he turned openly gay. One would think that this logically means Chris is straight, except for the fact that it's made clear that the two differ only in their openness, not their homosexuality.
* Chris posted an absurd "riddle" on [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Facebook]] containing random pictures, containing Mark Cuban, lemon cake, Delaware Blue Hens and the Sphinx. It's worth noting that [http://i.imgur.com/oKAtnAo.jpg Mark Cuban] is gay, lemon cake is often dyed rainbow in [http://i.imgur.com/qy1U14g.jpggay pride festivals], Delaware is one of the only states to uphold [http://i.imgur.com/YVAnfl9.jpg gay marriage], hens often exhibit homosexuality, and there's a game called [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gay%20chicken Gay Chicken], and the sphinx is also a breed of cat. A breed of cat that's [http://i.imgur.com/uBwdEdz.jpg really gay].
* In 2012, Chris signed in the [[CWCki Forums]] as "paintingatree". The term "Painting The Tree" is [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Painting%20the%20tree act slang for oral sex], which may refer to his duck.
* Chris posted a picture on [[Facebook#I_got_new_shoes|Facebook]] showing his new shoes. Note the gay pink laces and it looks like sneakers worn for women.
* Chris posted a pointless picture on [[Facebook#One Eyebrow|Facebook]], showing his eyebrow. Note that it's '''eyebrow''' and not '''eyebrows''', as [http://www.discodamaged.com/2010/12/lesbians-to-grown-on-eyebrow.html lesbians are proposing to grow one eyebrow on Decembrow].
* Chris pierced his right ear (twice), a common, albeit dated, code for homosexuality--"Left ear buccaneer, right ear queer."
* Chris wrote a [[February_2014_Facebook_Posts#Tabitha_St._Germaine|Facebook post]] comparing Tabitha St. Germain, the voice actress of Rarity from ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'' (among many others), to gay icon Judy Garland.
* Attempting to prove that [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] is a separate identity, Chris favorited and commented on a number of gay [[pedofork]] [[anime]]s on [[YouTube]].<ref>[[:File:Recent Activity.jpg]]</ref>
* In his August 2014 Facebook posts, Chris identified himself as a 'tranny' and a 'Ho Mo' ''(for the ladies, [[Chris_and_English|according to him]])'', placed a marriage equality support symbol on his page's banner, and spoke about women being "supportive" of his choices. He's blissfully unaware (or ''outright doesn't care'') that all of this makes him look like he's come out of the closet. Not to mention, he calls himself a derogatory term for transsexuals.
* He [[October_2014_Facebook_Posts#Chris_hits_up_a_gay_bar_.28seriously.29|went to a gay bar on Halloween 2014]].
* He is a member of the local [https://www.facebook.com/groups/eventsatimpuslegsc gay club] on facebook.
* He once glitterbombed Sega. Glitterbombing was started by the gay community as a way to protest opponents of gay marriage.
* His [[26 December 2014|can of mace]] is colored pink.
* He posted a story on [[Facebook]] about him as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] having sex with [[Magi-chan]] and getting pregnant.
* The tote bag he used at [[OmegaCon]] had a marriage equality logo and the words "TOTES GAY" written in bold capitals on it.
* In his [[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas]] video, his song mentions how his true love had given him "drag kings, and the transmales that have "not" have the operation change yet".

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[Heather Iglesias]]
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
* [[Tomgirl]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

Homos

2017-02-07T02:56:05Z

RedVine01: /* Evidence against Chris's heterosexuality */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
{{Quote|I Am Straight; [[China|Vaginas]] and [[Plush breasts|Boobies]] Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.|[[Chris]].<ref>[[Mailbag 31]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|There Was a time before I realized mine being a female soul trapped in a male-born body, when I was homophobic. But I became better aware of these kind and open-hearted people, and learned how understanding and compassionate they are, and with that, losing the homophobia, I felt more at peace with myself and those around me.|Chris evolves.<ref>[[January_2017_Facebook_Posts#Open_letter_to_Barron_Trump]]</ref>}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which Chris referred to gay people--almost invariably gay males--nigh exclusively at the time of his discovery. He has also occasionally used phrases such as "those of the wrong orientation", because even saying the word "homo" or "gay" makes him uncomfortable.

From the very beginning of his [[internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|STAY STRAIGHT]]" have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects. Chris's ire for male homosexuals is confusing, since they, of all people, pose the least threat to his [[Love Quest]], and seems to be motivated entirely by his own sexual insecurities.

At various times, most recently following his coming out as a "[[Tomgirl|transgender]] [[Gaybian|lesbian]]" in [[2014]], Chris has seemingly recanted previous homophobic statements, claiming to have become fully supportive of equality and human rights. In nearly every case, this has been at the request of a gal-pal or sweetheart, and like most of his [[Chris and remorse|apologies]] has been insincere. He apparently remains repulsed and unnerved by homosexual men on a personal level.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris. <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause him to be "leered off the straight path." His terror has been such that he was barely able to bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He seems to struggle with intrusive homosexual thoughts; he has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle]] without being "freaked out."<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris revealed that he had to cover a section of his computer screen with a piece of paper so that he could browse the [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s pro-gay advertisements. Nothing will get Chris angrier than being "mislabeled" as a homo.

Chris's homophobia seems to have emerged sometime in 2006, as his very earliest expression of anxiety is his classic "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|Future Message]]," released in February 2007. At no time before this, either in his comics or his [[diary]] or his private correspondence, does he make any reference to homosexuality. It apparently grew out of the complex stew of his [[noviophobia]], his failure to achieve his Love Quest, his admiration for [[My Little Pony|girly toys]], his own [[Chris and gender|gender confusion]], his loathing of [[muscle bra|male bodies]], and [[autism]].
[[File:Taking it in the briefs.JPG|thumb|right|You're making this painfully obvious, Chris.]]

==Defenses against becoming a homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by stomping on [[vibrator]]s and showcasing index cards indicating their straightness on their shoes.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Chris uses many strange and totemic objects, from a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|poster of Sailor Moon]] to his [[Optimus Prime]] toy, to aggressively assert his straightness. Chris has said that he stared at his Sailor Moon poster every day to stave off temptations of homosexuality. The centerfold poster of [[The Simpsons#Marge poster|Marge Simpson's ''Playboy'' edition]] was another of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she is a married cartoon character does not seem to have dissuaded him. Chris also subscribes to ''Playboy'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to breasts and china.

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) fans sent Chris questions on the CWCipedia asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tended to suggest what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas included thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarified that one needs not buy a Sailor Moon poster in particular; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick. He believes these rituals are necessary to "maintain" sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris has also encouraged women to not [[Alcohol|drink]], [[Tobacky|smoke]], or be physically abused while pregnant, as this could cause the baby to be born homosexual, as if Homosexuality is like Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. <ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref> Chris is also convinced that his chances of becoming homosexual have been raised because he did not engage in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education</ref> hence his oft-stated regret that he did not get [[dating education]] classes in high school, and his recommendation that they be made available for the youth of today.

Considering the myriad of habits Chris has cultivated which are highly atypical for a straight male, it seems certain that he has been at the very least sexually confused. He is demonstrably very aggressive and insecure about it.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris is not simply afraid of becoming a homo himself--he hates all gay men. This animosity seems to result primarily from his fear of them (and all men) and their supposed ability or desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] - all of them - as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] must be gay. It also reveals a belief that all of his trolls are male, since Chris uses "homo" exclusively in reference to gay men. This notion is not only [[Vivian Gee|demonstrably false]], but in fact [[Chris and reality|completely delusional]], since many of Chris's greatest trolls have been women, and Chris knows it. This exercise in selective memory likely stems from Chris's loathing of male [[JERKS]] and inversely-proportional adoration of [[Gal-pals|women]].

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59.}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic the Hedgehog|one of his own abominations]].]]

Chris further went on to propose a bizarre form of conversion therapy in which all gay men would be imprisoned and made to sleep with both female offenders and prostitutes, thereby "reprogramming" them. Interestingly, a certain [[wikipedia:Heinrich Himmler|Herr Himmler]] had a similar idea, suggesting that "pink triangle" concentration camp prisoners be forced to sleep with (female) camp prostitutes.

{{quote|[they would be] taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts.|Chris, 2 January 2009, 12:01.}}

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his sagacious opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He advocated the lifting of the ban, but only so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

The universe of [[CWCville]] has also seen an anti-gay jihad. On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality is found, the people involved are [[Chris and the Law|arrested and fined heavily]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris's comic self travels into the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (An idea stolen from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Gay|Family Gay]]"). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Wikipedia:Sonderbehandlung|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]]). Chris then brought back to the present enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight. Ironically, a vaccination traditionally consists of introducing a small amount of the disease to a body to stimulate the immune system - so Chris unwittingly implied that his blood contains the dreaded homo virus.

A classic case of Chris's homophobia surfaced in the struggle over advertisements on his CWCipedia. Jack Thaddeus purchased ad space on the CWCipedia to put up 2 ads. One featured Peter Griffin of ''Family Guy'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights; and the other promoted Mexican tourism with a cartoon [[pickle]]. Chris unsurprisingly went berserk, stating:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''|Chris.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In protest, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site calling for a boycott of Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. To sum it up, in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that would ''not'' win him any gay friends whatsoever.

As with his fear of becoming a homo, the origins of Chris's deep homophobia are not clear. Certainly [[Bob]] had an influence, as the [[Matthew Noble call]] showed that he had the same kind of deranged hatred and prejudice as his son. On 7 January 2010, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight:

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

If this is true, Chris made no reference to it at the time, restricting his hatred solely to the heterosexual male [[JERKS]]. It is certainly ironic considering his more recent views on lesbianism. It also adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by his being childish and whiny about not getting his way with ''one'' woman who turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

Chris knows that his homophobia is unpopular with his fans, and he has often tried to persuade the public that he respects homosexuals for "who they are". However, he usually betrays his sincere intolerance of different lifestyles soon afterward - often within the same statement. On [[CWC Update 18 February 2009|18 February 2009]], for example, Chris issued one of his retractions of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" just as he respects his gal pals and his [[List of Chris's sweethearts|sweethearts]]. However, this was done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|a mere month later]] Chris was [[Chris and religion|reciting verses from the Bible]] to once again preach against the vile homos.

On 14 [[June 2009]], Chris posted a "[[music]]" [[video]] called "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]", which, in his tradition of ruining everything you ever loved, is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s satirical song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''. Later on that same day, he published an [[I'm Sorry, Dude|apology]] for the video and insisted that he likes gays who "ac...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Chris was of course unaware of the various other career accomplishments of Stephen Fry. It seems that this apology was only posted in the first place for the sake of his gal-pal [[Kim]]'s boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

On 12 January 2010, Chris again appeared to soften his stance, saying that "I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within CWCville." However, in the same breath Chris clarified, "gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> The reason why gay marriage isn't an "equal relationship right" is not readily apparent.

More recently, not long after coming out as a "male lesbian," Chris felt deeply uncomfortable with being perceived as "gay" or "homo," and in Facebook statements attempted to exclude gay men from his crusade for gender equality. No doubt under the influence of his new sweetheart [[Catherine]] and other gal-pals, Chris retracted these clumsy statements, apologizing for the umpteenth time.

{{quote|I am accepting of the gays as people, just like most any individual person. Seriously, you all be proud of who you are. All I ask is not to find any reason to feel anger towards anyone of any orientation, race or whatever, based on their individual actions or offense as an individual person of self. Also, please disregard all of my past and Way past thoughts of turning gays straight; that was very wrong of me. I am very sorry about that, and continue to be true and proud of yourselves for who you are, as I am Very Proud of myself for being a Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body).|Chris, surprisingly redeemable.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

He also announced his support for the Human Rights Campaign, going so far as to say that homophobics "are none other than the Cyber-Bullies and Internet Trolls who put hate on the innocent around the world; Young and Old. Some of which even put pressure on to force you into being something you know fully that you are Not!" Interestingly, his prior notion that all trolls are homosexuals had been completely reversed to the idea that they're all homo''phobes'', illustrating that Chris still believes that any detractor of his is part of an organized movement and [[Chris and his Ego|has personal flaws]].

However, if the past is any judge, the end of his relationship with Catherine has no doubt caused his homophobia to resurface. He confirmed in late 2014 that despite the fact that comic Chris shares his new gender identity, [[Reldnahc]], his opposite, is still an evil violent homo.<ref>Commissions</ref>

On 26 [[June 2015]], the Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of gay marriage. Chris, shockingly enough, reacted very positively towards this:

{{Quotebox|Congratulations to us all for Nationwide Marriage Equality! If a holiday be made of June 26, 2015, how about ‪#‎PridependenceDay‬!

Now, I still require my Sweetheart to be my future wife. As a ‪#‎Lesbian‬ ‪#‎Transwoman‬, I do feel I am compatible with Any woman.

And No, I am not mistaken. I have been genuinely feeling and [[List of Chris's lies|identifying like a woman for about my whole lifetime]]. I never could appreciate the [[JERK|male's]] Neanderthal interests. And I felt more appreciative and comprehending of [[Women's Rights|fashions, makeup, shopping]], [[Chris and remorse|empathy]], identifying feelings and [[Death threats|looking to resolve problems]] [[Sub-episodes|reasonably]].

Plus, I have a great deal of [[Chris and Anger|self control]], and I can bring good and pleasant [[semen|tidings]] to an all woman party.

‪#‎LoveWins‬ ‪#‎OneFamily‬ ‪#‎LGBTQ‬ ‪#‎Pridependence‬ ‪#‎Pride‬}}

In [[October 2015]], Chris released a [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|video]] in which he apologizes for his past homophobic statements and iterates that he is now supportive of male homosexuals, while still drilling the point home that Sonichu and Rosechu are straight. He almost simultaneously [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Sonichu 10]] and replaced the fictional gay epidemic with a bizarre [[Nombie-zazis|Nazi zombie]] premise, which still has homophobic implications given the context of the comic.

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'm STRAIGHT! I'm STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE the homos!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''[[List of Chris's lies|I. Am. STRAIGHT!]]'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

===“Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler’s Address to the Homosexuals===
On 6 August 2009, at a time when the trolls were getting the most mileage out of baiting Chris regarding his sexual orientation, Chris posted a wide-ranging, [[Chris and anger|hate-fuelled]] rant on the [[CWCipedia]] which he hoped would clear up all misconceptions. His "Address to the Homosexuals," subtitled "I AM STRAIGHT!!! NOT HOMO; NOT BI; STRAIGHT!!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS!" is a classic statement on the issue. Unfortunately it had no noticeable effect on the trolling. The essay in full:

{{quotebox|
Good day, I write this essay with sound mind to address the major issues that has been bugging me constantly for the past few yeas, The Pressure and '''Stress''' FROM the Homosexual Population.

First off, as I have said OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND '''OVER Infinite Number Of Times''', ''I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, AM STRAIGHT.'' '''[[Tomgirl Saga|No Question or]] [[Gaybian|Shadow of a Doubt, EVER.]]'''

I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; '''NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW.''' Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head. Every time of such pictures’ appearance, ''I feel Queasy and want to Throw Up.'' I humbly apologize for being offensive, but that is how I feel.

As a human being, I have no hard feelings conversing and associating with the homosexuals at any time. Individually, they each have a right to their own opinions, perceptions and peaceful lives. I fully understand and respect that.

''The only thing that really Grinds My Gears Harshly is being '''Wrongfully Labeled as a Homosexual when I am straight.'''''

I am aware of the way I [[Speech impediment|stutter]], space my words and all that from the way I talk, but I assure you, that I sometimes have trouble fully comprehending situations and status at first; it sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, ''I am Sometimes Retarded.''

And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because '''the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY'''; kept down with the ''Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend''. I am not a man who likes confrontations with the guy who has spoken for the woman I’m eying over. And during my High School Years, '''I WAS NAÏVE on the subject of DATING''' (''Bring in Dating Education Classes, and Run them Alongside or Before Sexual Education, and make Dating Education Equally Mandatory)''. [[Honor roll|It had not dawned on me that I NEEDED TO BE DATING until AFTER I had turned Twenty-One-Years Old]], during my Third Year attending Piedmont Virginia Community College.

And my '''Sonichu and Rosechu Comic Pages'''; again, I understand each individual person has their own perception of things, BUT Contrary to the individual perceptions among some people, '''The Comics, Drawings, and ALL Words ALL HAD NO MEANING OF ANYTHING Homosexual Whatsoever!''' I Personally in Real Life AND in the Comic Pages and all that '''PROMOTE BEING STRAIGHT''', No Question or Shadow of a Doubt.

All Those of You have Heavily Wrongfully Misunderstood Parts of All the Comic Pages and all that of such.

'''I, All my Sonichus, Rosechus, and citizens of Cwcville, Virginia, Do Not Appreciate At All Being Wrongfully Labled as homosexuals. IT REALLY INFURIATES ME, Sonichu, Rosechu and EVERYBODY ELSE.'''

I have also heard of My Sonichu being ''written in College Essays that promote homosexuality.'' And even worse, ''promoting him in the Gay Pride Parades.'' '''WRONG LABELS; STOP WRITING OR PROMOTING ME OR MY CHARACTERS AS SUCH!''' ''[[Reldnahc Notsew Niatsirhc|ALL Sonichus Are Straight!]] [[Silvana Rosechu|ALL Rosechus Are Straight!]] I Am Straight! My Comics are STRAIGHT COMICS.'' I, Sonichu and Rosechu, '''We Never Want to be part of ANY AND ALL Homosexual-Promoting Papers or Events, because with EVERY ITEM that is created from NOT OF MY OWN HANDS that EVEN Inklings such Wrongful Labelings upon, ME, Sonichu, Rosechu, and ALL MY STRAIGHT CHARACTERS, WE ARE ALL BEING DISREPECTED!'''

We will Never Take the Misunderstandings, Mislabelings And All The Like Sitting Down.

I, Personally, would RATHER have a PAINFUL Gender-Change Operation than EVER Turn Homosexual.

'''So, to reiterate, I, and 96 % of ALL CHARACTERS, are ALL STRAIGHT!''' ''NEVER EVER CALL me, my comics, or any of MY STRAIGHT Characters GAY!''

<nowiki>*</nowiki>sigh*

And to conclude, while I personally do not care about the homosexual lifestyle that swift, and I personally respect each individual homosexual person as individual human beings, '''The MAIN thing that really Infuriates Me is being called gay. DO NOT EVER Call Me Gay, or EVER Question My Sexual Orientation.
'''

''[[Lie|I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, Am Straight]]. Period.
''

Thank you.}}

==Views on lesbianism==

Whereas Chris's discomfort with homosexual males has been fairly consistent, his views on lesbianism have wildly vacillated. In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, "[[The High School Story]]", his Mary Sue character Terrah LeAnne Yowman is ridiculed and accused of being a lesbian by kids at her high school because she hangs around with male friends. As the work serves as a backstory to the villainous [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], Terrah's bullying may have served as a fictional inverse parallel to the endless accusations of homosexuality lodged by Chris' detractors, illustrating Chris' worldview of implied homosexuality as an insult.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[Creepy stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight [[Christian Weston Chandler|Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 25 July 2009, Chris produced a [[CWC "Boyfriend"|rambling and nonsensical video]] to the tune of Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend". In the middle of the video, Chris sings about the importance of "being straight" and intersperses a "STAY STRAIGHT" caption on a photo of a lesbian couple split in two.

{{quote|
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me!
Hey, you! Hey, you!
You need to be straight, girl!
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend! }}

Later, Chris would gradually revise his former hard-line attitude against lesbians. In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Cwcipedia: Sonichu]</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> Chris may have shoehorned a lesbian character into ''Sonichu'' to appear more tolerant, but his attempt comes off as half-hearted in light of his continual derision of gay men and insistence that Heather hide her sexuality.

In [[Mumble 1]], which took place on the last day of 2009, Chris declared his support for lesbians and reiterated his simultaneous hatred for gay men, stating that he hated [[JERKS]] in general, and how (typically) a porn DVD helped to soften his view on lesbians. In effect, Chris claimed that he supports lesbians because he believes women are beautiful, and hates gay men because men are icky.

{{quote|Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial [dis]courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion...I've uh talked to others before with uh, [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], my uh s-s-Sarah, my girlfriend. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

{{quote|Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

On 28 [[March 2013]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook#Gay Marriage |Facebook message]] whining about repeat media coverage of the Supreme Court's [[:wikipedia:Hollingsworth v. Perry|Proposition 8]] and [[:wikipedia:United States v. Windsor|DOMA]] deliberations. In it, he reiterated his support for lesbians and his disapproval of "the damn homosexual males".

===Chris the lesbian===
[[File:Chris at a gay bar.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's selfie from a gay bar restroom. Disturbing, but unsurprising.]]
On 14 [[August 2014]], Chris posted on his [[Facebook]] page that he himself was now officially a "lesbian-identified man".<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]]</ref> He posted a picture of himself holding an LGBT flag. He stated that "I support the LBT fully; the G.[ay] M.[ale]s are fortunate to be on this boat." On 31 [[October 2014]], Chris spent that [[Halloween]] at a gay bar dressed as a "Groovy 70's Lesbian",<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref> further evidencing his apparent acceptance of homosexuality, in that visiting a gay bar was [[Chris and hypocrisy|THE thing Chris had specified on multiple occasions that he would never do in his life]].

However, as anyone who's even mildly aware of sexuality and gender will tell you, a lesbian male isn't actually a real thing. The idea of a "lesbian in man's body" is just something a guy might google after [[mass debating]], and Chris's citation of '''Yahoo! Answers''' to validate its existence is unpersuasive to say the least. Whether or not Chris has had a turn of heart, and realized the error of his ways when it comes to homosexuality, we'll just have to wait and see. Sexuality seems to be the most powerful governing force in Chris's self-definition, and as such it is perhaps unsurprising that it has changed so dramatically over time, given his utter failure to find his place in the world.

Chris's identification as a lesbian is closely tied to the next subject...

== Chris and transsexuality ==
{{quote|Tranny Pride, Worldwide!|Chris calling himself a derogatory term for transgenders, 14 August 2014<ref>[[Brassieres For Males#Chris comes out]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Die-cis-scum.jpg|thumb|right|Likelier than you think.]][[Image:Chris_15_Aug_2014_changed_profile_pic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris the "Male Lesbian Intersex Transgender."]]

Given that Chris lacks basic [[English]] skills, it shouldn’t be surprising that he has trouble navigating the linguistic minefield of ''transgender'', ''transsexual'', ''transvestite'', ''intersex'', ''bisexual'', ''hermaphrodite'', and his own ''tomgirl''. For someone who hates mislabelings, he sure is sloppy when it comes to these labels. On his [[OKCupid]] profile, when asked, "Would you date a transgender person," he replied, "Yes, as long as she was born female and was still female (or a tomboy)."<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref> He told [[Jackie]] that the fact that he loved wearing women’s clothing did not make him a “transvestite.”<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He told gal-pal [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah Bentley]] that the [[unclit]] made him “bisexual” when he meant intersex; he promptly flipped his shit when Rebeckah asked if he wanted to fuck dudes now.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Introducing the un-clit]]</ref> All of Chris’s claims about sexuality or gender identity need to be viewed through an autistic filter.

That said, Chris has spent many years struggling to articulate his position on transgender topics. In the early years of trolling, he confessed that he was uncomfortable with the idea of transgender people, and made it clear that he was not sexually attracted to them. “I have given thought about the transgenders and transvesites; I do not feel comfortable with them….[D]icks are dicks, and I do not care about them, except for my own,” he wrote in a [[January 2009]] chat.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He later reiterated: “I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.”<ref>[[Mailbag 26#Reusing the same excuses for everything else!]]</ref>

{{quote|I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite.|Classic Chris, 15 January 2010<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Shemales and man-tits]]</ref>}}

Yet somehow, he could not let the issue rest...when [[Wikipedia:Bailey Jay|Bailey Jay]] introduced herself to Chris in a [[Mailbag]] letter, revealing some naughty selfies, Chris’s initial reaction was completely phobic at the sight of this "hermaphrodite." Later though, after Jay let Chris know that he had hurt her feelings, he reached into his shallow well of empathy. "I can relate to how you feel. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I was born female instead, because of some of my emotional, caring, self-conscious thoughts I had in my lifetime. Then I would later remember that God must have made me all straight male for good reasons."<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!]] and [[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref> When Chris looked at this beautiful woman with a large pickle, he saw a distorted reflection of himself. He was not yet ready to abandon his “straight male” identity, though.

After becoming a [[tomgirl]] in 2011, even though he was still officially a "heterosexual" and "proud to be male," some of his words and actions betrayed a deeper gender confusion. He started using women’s restrooms. He told Jackie that he fantasized about "fit[ting] in at a lesbian bar," where he believed he would have no trouble seducing a lesbian and persuading her to bone "in lesbian's position (the scissor-thing) with my dick in her vag."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref> In December 2013 he confessed to Rebeckah, "I wish I was born female, with the possibility of being a lesbian."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life]]</ref> He still seemed unsettled, especially since being a tomgirl wasn’t working to attract a Sweetheart/Soulmate.

On 14 [[August 2014]], he came out publicly, although as what exactly wasn’t certain, given his garbled and inconsistent vocabulary. The initial announcement was that he was "a Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser." Then he said he was a "Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny." Two weeks later he was telling [[Catherine]] that he was a "Lesbian tomgirl transgender male" but also "[[Three-Quarter Woman|three-quarters woman]]." By September he seemed to have settled on "Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body)."<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]], [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Flirt the skirt!]], [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Understanding the whole tomgirl thing]], and [[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Alright, Alright, NOW It's OK to Be Gay]]</ref> In [[April 2015]], apparently no longer a "man," he changed his Facebook pronoun to "she" and his name to "Christine".<ref>[[April 2015 Facebook posts#A new pronoun]]</ref> This month also saw the beginning of a flurry of Facebook "likes" for all sorts of progressive transgender issues, such as restroom choice and gay marriage. Whatever he was, he was certainly proud of it, and wasted no time trying to persuade his new L(G)BT personal army to wage war against local manajerks.

===Does Chris Want the Operation?===
Almost immediately upon being discovered, Chris revealed that he had been giving a lot of thought to contingencies which might require him to lop off his [[duck]]. In 2007 he told [[Megan]], “if I ever stoop down to changing my path [i.e., becoming a homo], I might as well would get a gender change operation.”<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself]]</ref> He also made it clear to anyone who asked that he was literally nauseated by the sight of his own penis (and all other penises). It might seem self-evident, then, that Lesbian Transgender Chris would be eager to undergo sex reassignment surgery. However, in his intellectual discourses on transgender controversies, Chris has expressed some ambivalence. In a February 2009 chat, when asked if transwomen should "go under the knife," Chris replied:

{{quote|Um...[long pause] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh, with both sets of uh, genitals, I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.|Chris, apropos of nothing<ref>[[Mumble 6#On The Transgender Community]]</ref>}}

He similarly told a troll impersonating transgender porn actress Bailey Jay (who also hadn’t asked) that "if I should ever have a hermaphrodite for a child, I would raise that child with the mentality of a boy/man."<ref>[[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref>

For a long time, these were puzzling statements, given his hatred for [[JERKS]] and all manner of pickled cucumbers. As his own gender identity mutated, however, Chris revealed his reasoning. In early 2014, on his OKCupid Q&A, he was faced with the question, "Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?" Chris’s answer was, "Do not perform the surgery." He added,

{{quote|If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).|Chris, exemplifying the wisdom of Solomon<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref>}}

In other words, there were two obstacles in the way of Chris losing his duck. First, a sex change operation wouldn’t provide him with reproductive organs. Since, as a woman, he would not be able to give the birth to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] personally (which is his true fantasy), he must first impregnate someone, as many times as necessary until the appearance of his God-promised daughter. He can’t adopt, because Crystal must come from "blood, tears, and semenal descent."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#10 November]]</ref> He criticized fellow tranny Ahuviya (whom he incorrectly believed to be [[Jack Thaddeus]]) for trying to have the operation, claiming that he "would definitely not be considered any at all a woman--a woman whatsoever" because "he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive [sic] organs. I mean, I want to have children someday. Obviously, he don't."<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref>

In late 2014, he could not persuade a sperm bank, lesbians on a message board, or his friend [[Open Relationship E-mails|Renee]] to serve as the vessel for Crystal.<ref>[[Semen#Donation]]</ref> So for now, its purpose unfulfilled, the Ugly Growth must remain.

The second reason he can’t get the surgery is that the duck is an [[Attraction Sign]]. As much as he loves to crow about being a "Lesbian," Chris wants to be "open to all women, Straight, Bi, and Lesbian." In a [[May 2015]] Facebook Q&A, regarding the operation, he was equivocal, and wrote, "I am exploring making the best of this body for Any Woman born with a vagina." If he wants to be everything for everybody, he will need to hold onto the duck.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#All This and Eye-Contact Too!]] and [[May 2015 Facebook posts#The Mailbag Returns]]</ref>

It should also be noted that Chris doesn’t have a fucking clue how sex reassignment works. In [[June 2015]] he posted an advertisement on Facebook: “I deserve to be a full woman with a full functioning vagina. A- blood type, if anyone wants to put up the money and trade.”<ref>[[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Let's Trade Genitalia]]</ref> As with most things he wants, Chris prefers to sit on his fat lesbian ass and wait for "a Magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Depressed on Christmas]]</ref>

===In CWCville===
Before his slide into “femdom,” Chris used the intersex character [[Silvana]] to symbolize the evil trolls. The evil [[Count Graduon]] told her, “I am going to grant you with the power to transform like a Ditto. My price is that you will have to relinquish your ability to give birth, and you will be upgraded to have both parts. So with the biological upgrade complete, your years of training can begin.”<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook#Episode 18]]</ref> She proceeded to seduce and horrify the tranquil community. After Chris modified his gender identity, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robee Sonichu]] also became a tomgirl, and later a full-fledged male lesbian. In May 2015 he confirmed that [[Comic Chris]] was a “Lesbian Transwoman,” and [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as a D-cup female with “a uterus and ovaries,” possibly to be renamed Chrissy-Chan Rosechu. Then, through the power of his imagination, Chris managed to ''impregnate himself'' with a turkey baster and give birth to twins.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> This scenario is probably as realistic as Chris ever getting a handle on his own gender.

==Evidence against Chris's heterosexuality==
[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't fail at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|[[Niggos|Oh lawd, is dat sum lipstick on Chris?]]]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies ([[Recycling|and eats imaginary man asses]]).}}

[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]
[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png|thumb|Totally not gay at all.]]
[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png|thumb|''One... eyebrow.'']]

Ironically, the [[Autistic dick|harder]] Chris [[I am STRAIGHT|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the less so he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!"<ref>[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]</ref> every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Chris has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref>
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into adulthood, and began this collecting way before ''Friendship is Magic'' premiered.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Call 1|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his "friends" were female and he never slept with any of them (despite his best efforts to do so).
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN chat with Julie]], Chris revealed that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* In the chat where [[Julie Reveals Herself]], when [[Max]] told Chris to suck his duck, Chris asked, "How can I do yours if I'm all the way over here?" instead of simply saying "no", although this could simply be his autistic mind trying to cope with hyperbole. Also, later on in the same chat, Chris attempted to show Max his duck when the latter began to taunt him with claims that he had a pussy. While you might be thinking that it's just a typical knee-jerk reaction from Chris, an [[Julie_Reveals_Herself:_The_Prequel|earlier chat]] reveals a part where Chris ''offers'' to show Max his dick.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put a large dildo up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* Chris once drew [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a male character, on his duck.
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref> Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.
* According to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|receipts]] uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for anal beads as a gift with an order of pornography. Chris, however, lied, claiming that the anal beads as well as a vibrator were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. Chris kept said vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs|sex logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* His absolute revulsion to seeing other men's penises. If Chris was truly straight, he would not be uncomfortable seeing other men's penises because he would have no interest in them sexually.
* On [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009]], Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a [[gaybian]]. He later issued a retraction, which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* When Julie finally revealed herself as a [[pedofork|13 year old boy]], Chris's immediate response was "I did not know you were a 13 year old!" making it sound like he's shocked by the age but not the least bit concerned about the fact that he's a boy.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by [[Nudes|close-up pictures of his buttcheeks and anus]], not that anybody of any orientation would find it erotic.
* The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]] is pink.
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]], which are essentially hair clips, which are essentially women's fashion accessories.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* Chris wears a [[bra]]. In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* He also thinks that men should be forced by law to [[Brassieres for Males#Now you have to wear dresses too|wear dresses]]. He says this is to hide "[[Duck|the bulge]]" but anyone could tell you that he only wants this so he can crossdress better.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" at the CWCipedia, you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he owns a copy of the first ''[[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|Sex and the City]]'' movie when he showcased his then-current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving all the characters a [[Wikipedia:Queer Eye|free makeover]].
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from the virus, implying that Chris is "infected" with homosexuality if his blood could be used to make a vaccine.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a duck.
* In the above same Trollin Train post, he mentioned achieving comeuppance before vomiting, indicating he had an erection, and thus was sexually aroused from being sodomized by a man.
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [[:File:Punchylaylalove.jpg|wearing panties and a bra]].
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks suspiciously like an erect penis.
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].
* He voluntarily dressed up as a woman, went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals and vice-versa, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public. When Bob learned of Chris's antics, his immediate response was to call him a "fag".
* On 29 April 2012, Chris 'reveals' that the gay camp experience story he made up as [[JenkinsJinkies]] was a fake. Aside from the fact that [[Naive|absolutely nobody fell for this at all]], it does leave this question: Out of all of the stories that Chris could have made up under a fake identity, why did he go with one where he gets sodomized at [[Pedofork|seven]]?
* [[It's not that cold]] shows Chris infamously saying, "Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me." Take note that Chris is dressed in a mini-skirt and hikes it up to reveal his grotesque man ass at the camera, indicating that he'd like to be taken from behind, all in an attempt to re-enact ''The Silence of the Lambs''.
* Whenever anyone calls Chris out on his [[Women's rights|objectification of women's bodies]], he is always quick to back-pedal and say he appreciates women more for their personalities, unaware that personalities are the key reason for relationships between gay men and their female friends.
* Chris created a modified version of the song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''The Boondocks'' called "Don't Trust Any Homos Over There". However, the character who sings the original song is Uncle Ruckus, a self-loathing black man. This makes Chris look like a self-loathing homosexual.
* The fact that he thinks that ''staring at a poster'' will keep himself straight implies he has homosexual thoughts and fantasies that he wants to keep in check. The irony of the fact that he thinks staring hard enough at a poster of Sailor Moon, a gay icon, will magically suppress these homoerotic urges is lost on him.
* After [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] became Chris's equal and opposite as the result of the latter's brief immersion in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], he turned openly gay. One would think that this logically means Chris is straight, except for the fact that it's made clear that the two differ only in their openness, not their homosexuality.
* Chris posted an absurd "riddle" on [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Facebook]] containing random pictures, containing Mark Cuban, lemon cake, Delaware Blue Hens and the Sphinx. It's worth noting that [http://i.imgur.com/oKAtnAo.jpg Mark Cuban] is gay, lemon cake is often dyed rainbow in [http://i.imgur.com/qy1U14g.jpggay pride festivals], Delaware is one of the only states to uphold [http://i.imgur.com/YVAnfl9.jpg gay marriage], hens often exhibit homosexuality, and there's a game called [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gay%20chicken Gay Chicken], and the sphinx is also a breed of cat. A breed of cat that's [http://i.imgur.com/uBwdEdz.jpg really gay].
* In 2012, Chris signed in the [[CWCki Forums]] as "paintingatree". The term "Painting The Tree" is [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Painting%20the%20tree act slang for oral sex], which may refer to his duck.
* Chris posted a picture on [[Facebook#I_got_new_shoes|Facebook]] showing his new shoes. Note the gay pink laces and it looks like sneakers worn for women.
* Chris posted a pointless picture on [[Facebook#One Eyebrow|Facebook]], showing his eyebrow. Note that it's '''eyebrow''' and not '''eyebrows''', as [http://www.discodamaged.com/2010/12/lesbians-to-grown-on-eyebrow.html lesbians are proposing to grow one eyebrow on Decembrow].
* Chris pierced his right ear (twice), a common, albeit dated, code for homosexuality--"Left ear buccaneer, right ear queer."
* Chris wrote a [[February_2014_Facebook_Posts#Tabitha_St._Germaine|Facebook post]] comparing Tabitha St. Germain, the voice actress of Rarity from ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'' (among many others), to gay icon Judy Garland.
* Attempting to prove that [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] is a separate identity, Chris favorited and commented on a number of gay [[pedofork]] [[anime]]s on [[YouTube]].<ref>[[:File:Recent Activity.jpg]]</ref>
* In his August 2014 Facebook posts, Chris identified himself as a 'tranny' and a 'Ho Mo' ''(for the ladies, [[Chris_and_English|according to him]])'', placed a marriage equality support symbol on his page's banner, and spoke about women being "supportive" of his choices. He's blissfully unaware (or ''outright doesn't care'') that all of this makes him look like he's come out of the closet. Not to mention, he calls himself a derogatory term for transsexuals.
* He [[October_2014_Facebook_Posts#Chris_hits_up_a_gay_bar_.28seriously.29|went to a gay bar on Halloween 2014]].
* He is a member of the local [https://www.facebook.com/groups/eventsatimpuslegsc gay club] on facebook.
* He once glitterbombed Sega. Glitterbombing was started by the gay community as a way to protest opponents of gay marriage.
* His [[26 December 2014|can of mace]] is colored pink.
* He posted a story on [[Facebook]] about him as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] having sex with [[Magi-chan]] and getting pregnant.
* The tote bag he used at [[OmegaCon]] had a marriage equality logo and the words "TOTES GAY" written in bold capitals on it.
* In his [[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas]] video, his song mentions how his true love had given him "drag kings, and the transmales that have "not" have the operation change yet".

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[Heather Iglesias]]
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
* [[Tomgirl]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

White knight

2017-02-07T02:37:34Z

RedVine01: /* Chris is beyond pity */

{{Articleofthenow}}
 
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|[[If You Were a Woman and I Was a Man|Bonnie Tyler]], "[[Holding Out for a Hero]]"}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on [[the Internet]] to help or defend someone else against other people, out of [[CWC is Sad|pity or compassion]], or for [[China|ulterior motives]]. White knighting of [[Chris]] is especially prevalent because of the sheer volume of abuse he's taken ever since he found his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica ]] page, which in turn is caused by Chris's total unwillingness to heed any of his many white knights.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

In the broader internet trolling community, a wide range of people, from neutral observers to even his greatest trolls, are accused of being white knights. This is mostly due to Chris's "fans" discouraging [[Weening]] and [[A-Logging]], acts which, to outside observers, could be misinterpreted as an attempt to reduce trolling. Many of these outside observers are also confused by the tendency of Chris's trolls, including his most [[Vivian Gee|prolific]] [[Clyde Cash|ones]], trying to get him to improve his life, as they don't know Chris well enough to know it's nigh impossible to get him to improve using the "soft touch". So when the label "white knight" gets thrown around, take it with a grain of salt.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being a lolcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance, or even beyond help. Once upon a time, the consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's ED article, [[/cwc/]], [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] was that Chris's [[racism]], [[Homos|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] made him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith.

Today, however, Chris's racism and homophobia are slowly ebbing away along with his parents' influence over him, and A-Logging is no longer as fashionable as it once was. Accordingly, nowadays, opinion on the matter is somewhat divided on whether Chris is capable of improvement, although most agree that if Chris is going to improve, it will not be in any large part due to the efforts of third parties because, in the main, he is still too proud and stubborn to accept advice.

Some believe that Chris is improving on his own, albeit slowly and in small increments, as seen in his gradual abandonment of his homophobia, which began with him declaring tolerance for lesbians, which he eventually extended to gay men. Others believe that Chris has not tangibly improved, that he has merely moved sideways, rather than forward. Many of these believe that Chris cannot improve, for example, his [[tugboat]], his public misadventures and the thorough documentation of his sordid dealings online make employment all but an impossibility for Chris. Many more quibble over what can be defined as Chris "improving". Some have proposed that Chris improving need not necessarily mean becoming a functioning adult, which at this stage would be an uphill battle for Chris anyway. Rather, they claim that Chris is improving in that he is happier than he once was. He has found [[Impulse Gay Social Club|a new hangout]] where he stands to improve his social skills and make friends. Moreover, he has finally found a way to cash in on his e-fame, delighted his fanbase by resuming the comics ''and'' made his dreams of a Sonichu media empire a reality, albeit probably on a much smaller scale than he once envisaged.

In any case, the consensus on white knights and counter-trolls has remained somewhat consistent; they are and always have been seen as wasting everyone's time by trolls and Christorians alike, who accordingly have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes]] and the [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The internet is full of [[autistic]] people, manchildren, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his [[obesity]], his all-consuming need for female companionship, or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict Blanca, and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he's never "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris' autism also means that he thinks, and sees the world, in simplistic, binary terms; he cannot easily "read between the lines" or detect sarcasm, or practically any kind of nuance or subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When 2 male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref> It is also thought that his decision to go [[tomgirl]] was at least partially due to him taking advice to "get in touch with his feminine side" literally.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, BlueSpike's sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. The [[JULAAAY|less sophisticated]] bulk of the trolling was the work of A-Logs and weens, who are frowned upon even by trolls, and rightfully so. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

===For the sake of [[Barbara]]'s sanity===
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that Snorlax should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't===
All Chris had to do to end the trolling was to stop responding to it. If he had taken this small step, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] would've made his ED page and that probably would've been the end of it. The first trolls had nothing personal against Chris; they just decided he was a worthy target after reading his [[Sonichu (comic)|crappy ''Sonichu'' comics]] and seeing him go into a meltdown over his ED page. If he'd quit responding to their provocations and quit posting [[12 October 2009|videos of himself throwing tantrums]] on [[YouTube]], the trolls would have eventually just moved on to someone else. Instead, Chris tried to "fight back" against them, in turn revealing more and more of his personal information, until eventually the trolls knew all of his contact info and all the details of his life.

That was when the trolling went past a point of no return, spilling into Chris' personal life so much that there would be absolutely no way for him to ever disassociate himself from it. Even when he was away from the computer, he would find himself subjected to trolls calling his cell phone, sending him mail, and following him around in public. While the obsessive trolling was nothing less than shitty, the fact still remains that Chris was the one who allowed them to have such control over his life; thanks to him always overreacting to every little provocation and handing over all his personal information to them.

There is also the theory that Chris does things for trolls to mock him merely for the attention.

===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]], [[Autism]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]]. In recent years, many have even began to opine that Chris doesn't even ''want'' help; as can be observed in his frequent outbursts on Facebook, what he really wants is to exploit his own misfortune to get pity, attention and gifts. It is also theorized that helping him is pointless because Chris is well-known for always wanting to have his cake and eat it. Even if he woke up tomorrow morning and found that all of his dreams had come true, he'd still concoct new grievances.

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately after this, he started talking about a sexy dance. And 8 months later, he was filmed enjoying some [[Long Island Iced Tea]].

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After hearing that he caused [[Ryan Cash]] to die, Chris marveled at the fact that he had incited suicide, right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When he heard that he made [[Sarah May]] attempt suicide, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. People who have had to deal with suicidal people, or have lost relatives or friends to suicide wouldn't exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On 1 [[November 2009]], Chris went as far as to mock '''9/11''' (more on ''that'' video can be found in the "Chris is beyond pity section").

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris simply said that he was "sorry" and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people, but Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing, and was clearly given little-to-no help with his autism as he grew up.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. While Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he has never done anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders, and whom he eventually dismissed anyway.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

After he [[26 December 2014|maced a GameStop employee and said it made him feel "badass"]], a deeply concerned troll going by the name Renee tried to convince him to go to see a psychiatrist. In response, Chris took this as a personal insult, and wished "Renee" and her boyfriend a slow demise in a house fire. Not only does this demonstrate that Chris holds his ego in higher esteem than his mental health, but it is also quite staggering that he would wish death in a fire upon someone [[Destruction Of Chris's House|''after he narrowly escaped the same fate'']]. Moreover, it is worth noting that Chris remembered that Renee had told him in the past that she already had a boyfriend. Compare his reaction to this well-meaning request from Renee, to his compliance with more bizarre requests from, say, Jackie. This shows that regardless of who you are or what you want to say, Chris only cares to listen to you if you have a [[china]] and aren't already taken.

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality, even if he often ignores it in favor of his own interests. He has been held accountable for his own actions in a court of law, twice (and rightfully so). His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. From "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]" to "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping...trollin' stupid pickle-suited...'''nigger'''!]]"]]

Chris often reacts to provocation aggressively, which is quite an understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris's opinions, asking him why he does what he does, or as evidenced above, trying to expose him to reality can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|''unpleasant'']] things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did. Chris believes that since he is reacting to being "wronged" by someone else, his actions, no matter how extreme they are, are justified.

Chris has [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted young children]] during card games and scared some of them away from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented the now-defunct store and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by ED, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.

Chris has sexually harassed [[Megan|two]] [[Catherine|women]] in real life. The former made it explicitly clear to him that his inappropriate touching and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill manchild and would become his [[sweetheart from the ground-up]]. He ''bragged'' to the latter about how he learned to keep his hands to himself after the fallout with Megan, then faceplanted her breasts.

After Megan cut ties with Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a drawing of him fingerbanging her]] to his ED page, he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. When this failed to placate her, he then had the nerve to say "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''[[Ego|him]]''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

Years later, Chris would go so far as to totally demonize Megan for rejecting his 'good intentions', posting her address up on his [[Facebook]] profile in the hopes that trolls would find it and punish her for him. On 3 and 4 October 2013, he took this even further, posting [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|an unbelievable multi-part tirade]] about Megan on Facebook, wherein he accused her of being the leader of a vast troll conspiracy against him and claimed to have consorted with a ''[[Chris and reality|fictional]] [[Megagi La Skunk|character]]'' Megan once made for him, who supposedly told Chris that Megan [[Sandy|should never have been born]]. As if this wasn't enough insanity on its own, Chris then went on to claim he had confiscated the [[Sailor Megtune]] superpowers he had given her in the comics, and proceeded to demand that Megan fix his entire life, or else he would sic the spirits of his deceased father and dog on her.

Chris has even started up [[List of Chris's Lies|false]] [[rape]] claims against his [[Bruce Johnson|elementary school principal]]. That alone should warrant anybody to not defend him ever.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego just keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool is probably the ''only'' genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally disabled. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding whatever damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. Poetically, after he posted this video, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''. SonichuIzCool didn't step down, and responded back with a video that criticized his actions. To date, Chris has never issued a response to that, thus meaning he was dismantled by a slow-in-the-mind.

On 1 November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to create a YouTube video called [[Twin Falling Towers]], wherein he ''mocks 9/11''. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and terrorists'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. He even used his mouse cursor as a "plane" and made childish explosion noises. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the World Trade Center towers into [[Cakefarts|cake]] candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the Twin Tower images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a "fan" named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch pornography with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|"expert"]], encouraged him to do so. When "Mike" got back to him, the news wasn't good; Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike Sr. begged Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come home. Unfortunately, Chris was under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Chris was next contacted by Mike's "wife", who told him that after discovering that Mike Jr. had married the prostitute in Las Vegas, Mike Sr. died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's widow, offering her his infamous canned response in lieu of even pretending to give a fuck, then later responded to Mike's son's grief and anger with all of three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]] When called out later, he denied having ever spoken to Mike, much less read his obituary. While this was all obviously trolling, Chris's nonchalant reaction to his hypothetically ruining someone's life and tearing their family apart doesn't exactly paint him in a good light.

In the post [[Tomgirl_Saga| Tomgirl saga]] world of Chris some trolls have shown remorse over past trollings of Chris. Some cite Chris' new minority gender identity and his infamous autism as reasons to be more sympathetic to Chris. However, Chris has never shown respect for other transgendered people, but has been outright transphobic [[Doxing Jeff/Francine|by refusing to acknowledge their identity]] or [[I Am me; He is not| using slurs against them]]. This does not stop Chris demanding that people respect his new found gender identity without a hint of self-awareness. Chris has made it clear he doesn't have respect for others even if they share very similar problems or experiences like him. Even post tomgirl Chris has also gone on record refusing to date anyone transgendered or with autism. Chris hates those who are similar to him for bringing his insecurities and imperfections to light and will lash out at them for it.

Any reason you might could find for believing you can save Chris is only fooling yourself. Chris has willfully chosen to become a leech on society and any of many people listed on this wiki who had taken pity on him. He goes from person to person and community to community only to take what ever he feels entitled to from them, and then throw a temper tantrum when they expel him for unacceptable behavior. To illustrate this point, many of the people Chris has hated the most were not trolls or cruel to him, but simply had gotten in the way of things he wanted regardless if it was intentional or not. For example, [[Wes Iseli]] for dating a girl he liked, [[Adam Stackhouse]] for winning a contest he wanted to win, or [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for prohibiting his [[attraction sign]] on campus. This is a cycle that anyone who has followed Chris' misadventures is familiar with and it is safe to say your efforts to change or help him will be no different. Chris needs professional and perhaps Institutional help. Anonymous strangers as well meaning as they may are not equipped with the proper recourses to help Chris, especially as Chris continues [[List of places that have banned Chris| to get banned throughout Charlottesville]] many times without the help of trolls or weens.

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|random video games]] he'll never play, and even DLC for ''games he doesn't own''. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it doesn't require him to do much interacting with other people. Programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]]. He's never going to get a job now, of course - what with his various run-ins with the law, his growing local reputation for public tantrums and violence, his social security, and the fact that he's in his thirties, and has only been employed for a month or so in his entire life, over a decade ago - but he missed a lot of opportunities while it was still possible. Had he made the right choices, he could've been on a career path and out of his ancestral cesspool by now.

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to accept the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the false assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

But just in case you needed any solid proof of Chris' outright selfishness, it basically came straight from the horse's mouth during his trial. When asked if he understood that he'll be paying his court fees:

{{quote| "Yes. My mother will be taking care of that." |Chris.<ref>[[This_is_how_the_Trial_went]]</ref>}}

Keep in mind that the money being used to bail him out of a mess that he caused is coming out of an ailing old widow's purse while Chris [[Chris and Money|nonchalantly throws his own money away]], as evidenced by his PSN activity mere months later. Also, in 2013, [[Facebook#I_have_had_more_freedom_when_my_father_was_alive|he further hammers this point home]] by complaining about having to take care of Barb with Bob's passing, concerned more about his free time and Michael Snyder taking his money away.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own [[honest content]] than being a good net citizen. On the internet, his demeanor is comparable to that of a spammer: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which is generally tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would at least not make deliberate efforts to hinder them. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway, yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam, excessive trolling, and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to the site to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. Thoughts of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on the CWCipedia provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 20 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight E-mails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculously: he denies being [[Obesity|overweight]].

If you ever get some free time, read Vivian Gee's AIM chat. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that PandaHalo was a troll. Chris fell for Panda anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense into him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In her words:

{{quote|i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try.|Vivian, thoroughly summing up how it feels to try to smack some sense into Chris.}}

Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to the woman who was once his biggest defender ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Blanca was the name of more than a few trolls, and Chris fell for it.
* PandaHalo was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite Vivian's warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire video game development company, and Chris fell for it.
* Sarah May was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Julie was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Ivy was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[Liquid Chris]].
** [[Father Call|Kacey's dad]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. [[February_2012|Twice.]]
* [[Catherine]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Anna McLerran|Anna]]'s warnings.

See a pattern here? Back in the day, Chris would've simply dismissed any attempt to open his eyes to the obvious as an attempt to "ruin his relationship/business partnership for the lulz".

As of 2012, however, it seems that Chris has done a 180 on this, where, out of [[Autism|sheer paranoia]], he believes that anybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp10.png]]</ref> and everybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp6.png]]</ref> is a troll, even when he has no sane reason to reach that conclusion<ref>[[:File:Koreans.PNG]]</ref>.

Surprisingly, even in [[2014]], it was revealed that his latest girlfriend, Catherine, was a troll construct. While [[CWCki Forums|the community observing Chris]] are [[Trolls#Today|no longer impressed]] by such [[weening]], it still shows that even after almost a decade of trolls leading him around by his [[duck]], Chris has learned absolutely nothing.

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do some ''bizarre'' things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be out of the ordinary.

The things Chris achieves when left to his own devices are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His previous brushes with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|creepy]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that backfires without fail. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and [[Recycling|lewd acts]] are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. He even bounced back after being [[Mumble 9|verbally abused by a room of trolls]], one of whom went so far as to tell him to go kill himself. Whatever the trolls say or do to Chris, he always does or says something worse to someone else, and he always bounces back anyway, so what's the problem?

[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]

===Chris has made himself an outcast===
High school and college are where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's autistic. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, white, in the Charlottesville area, and willing to mother him forever more.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, threw a particularly bizarre tantrum in her office, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his loitering and soliciting were not appropriate behaviors in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are Jerkops, that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world as the antagonist. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given far more leeway than most people ever would have been given, due to Snyder's misguided pity for him), he was barred from his last hangout in Ruckersville that was still open to him.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He has been offered friendship and care time and again, and every time without fail, he drives his friends away with his entitlement, his perverse, bizarre, bellicose behaviors, or his inappropriate sexual advances, or, failing that, he will dismiss them for trying to get him to improve himself or behave like a responsible adult. While he has began frequenting [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] in recent months, and could potentially make friends there, many Christorians believe it is merely a matter of time before history repeats itself and Chris alienates himself from the other regulars.

Complain as he might, Chris's own actions have made him an outcast, and since he refuses to accept this, much less attempt to improve himself, an outcast he shall remain. Try as they might, neither white knights nor trolls have the power to save Chris from his delusions and cognitive dissonance, only he does.

===The stresses of white-knighting===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to keep up-to-date on his activities. Most have to lie and pretend to be a single girl to even capture his attention. This, combined with Chris's habit of pushing away anyone who tries to connect with him, is enough to make any sane non-psychologist crash into slumber.

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his address will be left unread and deleted. Even back in the days of the [[Mailbag]], any emails submitted to it, if they even got published, would've been [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit, and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant manchildren flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unconsciously attract new trolls to take their place, and we all know weens are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after Barbara dies, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his monthly tugboat and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris ends up in prison (again) he will be trolled there as well, and that's if he's lucky.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[JERKS|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that Christorians still find especially impressive, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a thoroughly-kicked autistic.

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing vidya and occasionally drawing unsellable art until Barb died. He'd remain without social skills, a job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that, without exaggeration, is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has long secured his place among such luminaries as [[wikipedia:Time Cube|Gene Ray]] and [[wikipedia:John Titor|John Titor]], and unlike Gene, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris's interactions with the world through his websites and YouTube have drawn in a considerable number of people from around the world who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over Earth, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving--the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and ''may'' bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study and document his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately well-off. The audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow, even if he generally opts out of doing either. Instead of being an unemployable, fat bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an internet-famous unemployable, fat bedroom dweller, and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, possibly appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could even [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|become the next William Hung]] if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

In fact, recently, Chris seems to have latched onto the idea of monetizing his e-fame, which he has managed somewhat successfully. It started with him being paid by a Japanese noise band (albeit a really obscure one) to produce artwork for their album cover (that didn't feature Sonichu or himself for a change) in early 2015, for which he received $50. At around the same time, he started making replica [[medallions]], taking commissions, and, a little later, making custom Sonichu Amiibos, all of which sold fairly well on [[eBay]], particularly the medallions.

In [[August 2015]], Chris did what no-one had thought he would - he resumed work on the Sonichu comics, asking for donations in exchange for releasing new pages, at a price of $10 per page. He even redrew some of the old comics to be a [[Chris and anger|little more]] [[Death threats|tasteful]], for example retconning the infamous gory executions of the Asperpedia Four in the original version of [[Sonichu 10]] to banishment to an Amish community and forced marriage. Many on Kiwi Farms applauded his resumption of work on the comics, a move they had long suggested. It was predicted that the comics would be a better earner for Chris than the relatively unsuccessful botched Amiibos; although no-one could have forseen [[Autism|one person paying Chris $1000]] - which translates into 100 pages worth of new Sonichu comics - meaning Chris gets money for toys, weed and hormones, while we get new content, and the pleasure of watching the fallout <s>if</s> when Chris fails to produce that many pages. It should of course go without saying that Chris's merchandise is bought ([[Kenneth Erwin Englehardt|almost]]) exclusively by trolls, Christorians, and the rest of his "fanbase", as the fragile, low-quality crap he churns out has no value to anyone else. All in all, Chris is finally cashing in on his e-fame, which may someday lead to him "making peace" with his tormentors, and recognizing that he has a somewhat symbiotic relationship with them. Which of course, renders white knighting essentially redundant.

Another important point to remember is that Chris's perversions, flaws and constant failure have made his life into something of a cautionary tale to other autistic people, and he has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] of them to self-improvement. Really, no matter how dire his circumstances come to be, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on Facebook and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO|his own self-loathing]].

{{quote|Whatever.|Chris' [[Mailbag_29#Whatever|1-word response]] to a fan leaving him, a social worker concerned about the [[Chris_and_health#Living_conditions|state of his house]], and a fan concerned about [[Chandler_Cats#Kitty|one of his cats]].}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|Chris' [[Mailbag_43#Go_Fuck_Yourself.2C_too.21|response]] to constructive criticism about [[Chris_and_copyright#Chris.27s_views|copyright]].}}

Chris doesn't treat his so-called "fans" much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans, and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His Mailbag is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When, or if, he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] had no audio on it whatsoever. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic, and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them, some less, some more, some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

===Chris's upbringing doesn't justify his actions===
The shitty way [[Borb]] raised him may be an ''explanation'' for why Chris is so fucked up, but it's not an ''excuse''. Plenty of people have bad childhoods, and abusive or incompetent parents. However, these people don't use that as an excuse for whatever bad things they do. As these people get help and move on, Chris, on the other hand, remains dependent on the same people who screwed him up, and doesn't even try to move past his childhood. Instead, he escapes into a world of fantasy and pornography, and when confronted by reality, he will use all the mental gymnastics at his disposal to twist reality to resemble how he wants it to be. There's also the fact that [[Cole Smithey]] grew up in the same household with the same parents, and yet he lives a relatively normal life. Meanwhile, Chris behaves like an overgrown child, draws art on par with that of elementary schoolers, is chronically in trouble with the law for his persistent failure to regulate his own behavior in public, and generally is extremely antisocial.

===Chris's life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him===
Today, Chris is a total human trainwreck, slowly losing the last of his sanity as each day goes by. While the systematic trolling of him throughout the last few years has doubtless contributed to his degrading mental state (especially his extreme paranoia and distrust for almost everyone), the fact still remains that his life's horrible state is mainly caused by factors outside of the internet. He would still be a lonely outcast, as his poor upbringing gave him such warped views of the world and led him to engage in such bizarre behavior that he drove away every person he tried to connect with. He would still be living in unsanitary conditions due to Barb's hoarding and the fact that his house has not been properly cleaned in the better part of a decade. He would still be banned from most of his favorite hangouts due to his loitering and hostile behavior to other patrons. Also, at the core of it all is how Chris decided that he would be better off living off government handouts while he sits around playing with toys and video games instead of getting a job and heading down a career path, which would have been his one-way ticket to escaping the cesspool that is [[14 Branchland Court]] and living a fulfilling life, not unlike that of his half-brother. Instead, he decided to remain dependent on his elderly, emotionally disturbed parents; look how well that's working out for him.

True to his word, Chris all but abandoned the Internet between [[July 2012]] and [[2013]], save for sporadic ramblings on Facebook. Despite this, quite a bit was revealed about how well he was doing independent of troll influence. He [[Other_documents#Epistle_to_the_Wesley_Memorial_United_Methodist_Church|alienated himself from his church]], earning a ban from the new pastor (undoubtedly because Chris wouldn't shut the hell up about the trolls). After being banned, he even dismissed Rocky as an effective counselor (keep in mind that Rocky once bailed him out of jail, which is quite an extraordinary act of kindness, counselor or not), and went so far as to accuse [[Chris and religion|God]] of being a troll. He continues to this day to describe his life as isolated and lonely, with nobody willing to talk to him, a scenario many have tried and failed to warn him about. He even earned some ire from Anna, his biggest white knight for [[Facebook#Gay_Marriage|making anti-homosexual statements]] on his Facebook page, he even chose to argue with her instead of trying to piece together why a lesbian friend of his would find such statements offensive. As a coup de grace on all of this, Chris ended up trolling himself in the grandest fashion by revealing an [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur account]] made of all of his previously hidden Facebook posts, despite trolls (save for the one who started it) being completely in the dark about it.

Even if all of that doesn't convince you for some reason, consider this: Chris came ''this'' close to being thrown in jail on [[28 October 2011]], and it's possible he'll end up there at last with the more recent [[26 December 2014]] incident, both of which involved the assault of innocent retail workers trying to protect their customers from him. Both times, he did this on his own initiative, with no prodding from the trolls. And make no mistake, ''everyone'' was thoroughly disgusted by Chris's actions, none were eager to defend his pepper-spray assault on an innocent employee, even those who helped support his [[Sonic Boom Protests]] before.

If we were to be extraordinarily generous and assume that none of the disasters which have befallen Chris since the trolling efforts began in earnest would otherwise have happened, the facts ''still'' indicate that Chris's life would have been a complete mess. Chris was discovered by the internet at large in late 2007, by which point he had already been suspended from college, and banned from the [[Fashion Square]] (twice), along with his local branches of [[Wal-Mart]] and [[Target]], only avoiding criminal charges for the ruckus he caused at the latter because the state didn't feel it was worth the effort to pursue the case. As recently as two months before the "official" start of the trolling of Chris, he was making death threats against Adam Stackhouse and his preteen sister, for the former's unwitting disruption of Chris's plan to lose his virginity with Megan, something that she had made clear she had no interest in doing. It may be a depressing conclusion to arrive at, but there's never been anything that anyone outside of the confines of 14 Branchland Court could have reasonably done to prevent Chris's life from being a trainwreck.

===Chris's white knights are making him worse===
A quick glance at the comments on his Facebook statuses should confirm this. Even after he ''committed a felony'' by assaulting a GameStop employee with pepper spray on Boxing Day 2014, then posted a long-winded, obviously dishonest tirade painting himself as an innocent victim on Facebook, none of his white knights offered anything more than a softly-worded, mild condemnation of his behavior. [[William Elliott Waterman|Some]] avoided a direct response altogether, and made some barely relevant comment that conspicuously avoided the main point of Chris's self-serving drivel, probably a feeble and misguided attempt to defuse his [[Chris and anger|rage]].

And this is how his white knights react whenever he gets angry about having to face the consequences of his own behavior. It's painfully clear to Chris's trolls and other observers that his white knights are woefully ill-equipped to deal with Chris. The reactions his tantrums garner from them clearly indicate that they remain ignorant (passively or otherwise) to facts that most learned long ago; namely, that the "soft touch" has never worked with Chris, and only serves to reinforce his [[Chris and reality|belief]] that [[Chris and his Ego|he should be given whatever he desires]] (he is even openly stating that he is ''entitled'' to a girlfriend), and allowed to do as he pleases, while [[Barbara Chandler|others]] shield him from the [[Chris and the Law|negative repercussions]].

Chris's white knights also habitually feed Chris's belief that his trolls are subhuman bullies who simply want to see him destroyed in every conceivable way because he's such a special, brave little boy. While this is [[A-Logging|true of]] [[Weening|some]], for the most part, Chris's trolls are just as interested in seeing Chris improve himself as white knights are, if not moreso, even if many are beginning to doubt such a thing is possible. Indeed, many of the female troll personas who "date" or "befriend" Chris have tried to help him see the error of his ways and reform, and continue to do so. It is partially due to the influence of Chris's white knights, who foolishly (and often futilely) try to root out these trolls, that these attempts to help Chris never result in lasting, positive change on his part.

In short, most of Chris's white knights are attention whores, sycophants or both. To these people, going on a witch-hunt for trolls is preferable to actually trying to help Chris, something which, ironically, even Chris's trolls continue to try to do.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

===White Knights on YouTube===

Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and Panda. She also released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the [[CWCville Library]]'s original curator, Arjen Van Dierten.

On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends, forgetting the fact that BlueSpike ''has no friends''.

===White Knights on Facebook===

In recent times (since 2012), Chris has taken to using Facebook as his main means of expressing himself. Inevitably, this has not only attracted the attention of trolls, but, in 2013, a slew of White Knights as well, in particular, a [[William Elliott Waterman]], who taunted the trolls to come after him instead of Chris ('''Spoiler:''' Nobody did, because nobody actually cared what he had to say). Anna and [[Kim]] are two of the most notable ones on his friends list, both of whom try to offer constructive advice whenever Chris nosedives into a rant...when they're not busy kissing his ass, especially in the case of Anna.

However, as we've come to expect of Chris, anybody who tells him something he doesn't want to hear are people that needed to be brushed off until they stop saying those mean, awful things to him. A good case in point is his [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart|anger-laced tirade in September 2013, when he got thrown out of Walmart and started calling names]]. The white knights typically chimed in with their support...''until'' he revealed that he [[Chris and the law|vandalized]] an Xbox One display in the store. Several of them then told Chris that this was not right of him to do, and that the manager had every right to throw him out. His response to that?

{{quote|They do not.
And if they do, they are most in the wrong, [[Chris and reality|because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever]].|- Chris's response to Chris Rhodes}}

===White Knights in Real Life===

Aside from the most obvious example, an old classmate of Chris from [[Manchester High School]] came online and attempted to defend Chris. Once [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|certain details]] became known, however, said classmate quickly backpedaled on this once he realized that the majority of [[CWCki|what happened]] was Chris' own fault.

===TV Tropes===
The TV Tropes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Sonichu article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. It was eventually removed due to TV Tropes' website policy changing later on--in other words, said message would no longer be allowed on the website. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, the editor in question fails to realize that their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]]

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any old e-friend can reach Chris at this point and change him for the better, certainly not by continuing to ass-pat and pamper him, which is precisely what fucked him up so badly in the first place (as this wiki evidences copiously). Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls, for daring to tell him anything he does not want to hear. With each new incident he causes, it is increasingly obvious that little short of [[Chris and psychology|professional intervention]], the [[Chris and religion|intercession of]] [[GodJesus]], or a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|horrifyingly close brush with death]] will change him.

Though the trolls have certainly tried to be a positive influence on Chris, even they are now largely admitting that Chris is well beyond our aid. They have spent years trying to pierce Chris's many insulating layers of self-deceit, egotism and sheer stubbornness. It is worth bearing in mind that it is these people, not the white knights, that are the closest thing he has to friends, and that some of them have been at this for nearly a decade. They ''know'' him, and if they can't make Chris change, what on earth makes you think you can?

To conclude, with Chris's paranoia, detachment from reality, outlandish behavior and bellicosity all becoming steadily more severe, and with interventions by trolls and white knights alike failing, the best we can hope for is that Chris causes [[26 December 2014|some sort of trouble]] that leads to him receiving the help he needs.

==See also==
*[[A-Logging]]
*[[Weening]]
*[[White knight E-mails]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.se/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

White knight

2017-02-07T02:36:35Z

RedVine01: /* Chris is beyond pity */

{{Articleofthenow}}
 
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|[[If You Were a Woman and I Was a Man|Bonnie Tyler]], "[[Holding Out for a Hero]]"}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on [[the Internet]] to help or defend someone else against other people, out of [[CWC is Sad|pity or compassion]], or for [[China|ulterior motives]]. White knighting of [[Chris]] is especially prevalent because of the sheer volume of abuse he's taken ever since he found his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica ]] page, which in turn is caused by Chris's total unwillingness to heed any of his many white knights.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

In the broader internet trolling community, a wide range of people, from neutral observers to even his greatest trolls, are accused of being white knights. This is mostly due to Chris's "fans" discouraging [[Weening]] and [[A-Logging]], acts which, to outside observers, could be misinterpreted as an attempt to reduce trolling. Many of these outside observers are also confused by the tendency of Chris's trolls, including his most [[Vivian Gee|prolific]] [[Clyde Cash|ones]], trying to get him to improve his life, as they don't know Chris well enough to know it's nigh impossible to get him to improve using the "soft touch". So when the label "white knight" gets thrown around, take it with a grain of salt.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being a lolcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance, or even beyond help. Once upon a time, the consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's ED article, [[/cwc/]], [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] was that Chris's [[racism]], [[Homos|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] made him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith.

Today, however, Chris's racism and homophobia are slowly ebbing away along with his parents' influence over him, and A-Logging is no longer as fashionable as it once was. Accordingly, nowadays, opinion on the matter is somewhat divided on whether Chris is capable of improvement, although most agree that if Chris is going to improve, it will not be in any large part due to the efforts of third parties because, in the main, he is still too proud and stubborn to accept advice.

Some believe that Chris is improving on his own, albeit slowly and in small increments, as seen in his gradual abandonment of his homophobia, which began with him declaring tolerance for lesbians, which he eventually extended to gay men. Others believe that Chris has not tangibly improved, that he has merely moved sideways, rather than forward. Many of these believe that Chris cannot improve, for example, his [[tugboat]], his public misadventures and the thorough documentation of his sordid dealings online make employment all but an impossibility for Chris. Many more quibble over what can be defined as Chris "improving". Some have proposed that Chris improving need not necessarily mean becoming a functioning adult, which at this stage would be an uphill battle for Chris anyway. Rather, they claim that Chris is improving in that he is happier than he once was. He has found [[Impulse Gay Social Club|a new hangout]] where he stands to improve his social skills and make friends. Moreover, he has finally found a way to cash in on his e-fame, delighted his fanbase by resuming the comics ''and'' made his dreams of a Sonichu media empire a reality, albeit probably on a much smaller scale than he once envisaged.

In any case, the consensus on white knights and counter-trolls has remained somewhat consistent; they are and always have been seen as wasting everyone's time by trolls and Christorians alike, who accordingly have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes]] and the [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The internet is full of [[autistic]] people, manchildren, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his [[obesity]], his all-consuming need for female companionship, or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict Blanca, and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he's never "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris' autism also means that he thinks, and sees the world, in simplistic, binary terms; he cannot easily "read between the lines" or detect sarcasm, or practically any kind of nuance or subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When 2 male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref> It is also thought that his decision to go [[tomgirl]] was at least partially due to him taking advice to "get in touch with his feminine side" literally.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, BlueSpike's sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. The [[JULAAAY|less sophisticated]] bulk of the trolling was the work of A-Logs and weens, who are frowned upon even by trolls, and rightfully so. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

===For the sake of [[Barbara]]'s sanity===
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that Snorlax should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't===
All Chris had to do to end the trolling was to stop responding to it. If he had taken this small step, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] would've made his ED page and that probably would've been the end of it. The first trolls had nothing personal against Chris; they just decided he was a worthy target after reading his [[Sonichu (comic)|crappy ''Sonichu'' comics]] and seeing him go into a meltdown over his ED page. If he'd quit responding to their provocations and quit posting [[12 October 2009|videos of himself throwing tantrums]] on [[YouTube]], the trolls would have eventually just moved on to someone else. Instead, Chris tried to "fight back" against them, in turn revealing more and more of his personal information, until eventually the trolls knew all of his contact info and all the details of his life.

That was when the trolling went past a point of no return, spilling into Chris' personal life so much that there would be absolutely no way for him to ever disassociate himself from it. Even when he was away from the computer, he would find himself subjected to trolls calling his cell phone, sending him mail, and following him around in public. While the obsessive trolling was nothing less than shitty, the fact still remains that Chris was the one who allowed them to have such control over his life; thanks to him always overreacting to every little provocation and handing over all his personal information to them.

There is also the theory that Chris does things for trolls to mock him merely for the attention.

===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]], [[Autism]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]]. In recent years, many have even began to opine that Chris doesn't even ''want'' help; as can be observed in his frequent outbursts on Facebook, what he really wants is to exploit his own misfortune to get pity, attention and gifts. It is also theorized that helping him is pointless because Chris is well-known for always wanting to have his cake and eat it. Even if he woke up tomorrow morning and found that all of his dreams had come true, he'd still concoct new grievances.

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately after this, he started talking about a sexy dance. And 8 months later, he was filmed enjoying some [[Long Island Iced Tea]].

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After hearing that he caused [[Ryan Cash]] to die, Chris marveled at the fact that he had incited suicide, right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When he heard that he made [[Sarah May]] attempt suicide, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. People who have had to deal with suicidal people, or have lost relatives or friends to suicide wouldn't exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On 1 [[November 2009]], Chris went as far as to mock '''9/11''' (more on ''that'' video can be found in the "Chris is beyond pity section").

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris simply said that he was "sorry" and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people, but Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing, and was clearly given little-to-no help with his autism as he grew up.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. While Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he has never done anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders, and whom he eventually dismissed anyway.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

After he [[26 December 2014|maced a GameStop employee and said it made him feel "badass"]], a deeply concerned troll going by the name Renee tried to convince him to go to see a psychiatrist. In response, Chris took this as a personal insult, and wished "Renee" and her boyfriend a slow demise in a house fire. Not only does this demonstrate that Chris holds his ego in higher esteem than his mental health, but it is also quite staggering that he would wish death in a fire upon someone [[Destruction Of Chris's House|''after he narrowly escaped the same fate'']]. Moreover, it is worth noting that Chris remembered that Renee had told him in the past that she already had a boyfriend. Compare his reaction to this well-meaning request from Renee, to his compliance with more bizarre requests from, say, Jackie. This shows that regardless of who you are or what you want to say, Chris only cares to listen to you if you have a [[china]] and aren't already taken.

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality, even if he often ignores it in favor of his own interests. He has been held accountable for his own actions in a court of law, twice (and rightfully so). His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. From "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]" to "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping...trollin' stupid pickle-suited...'''nigger'''!]]"]]

Chris often reacts to provocation aggressively, which is quite an understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris's opinions, asking him why he does what he does, or as evidenced above, trying to expose him to reality can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|''unpleasant'']] things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did. Chris believes that since he is reacting to being "wronged" by someone else, his actions, no matter how extreme they are, are justified.

Chris has [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted young children]] during card games and scared some of them away from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented the now-defunct store and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by ED, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.

Chris has sexually harassed [[Megan|two]] [[Catherine|women]] in real life. The former made it explicitly clear to him that his inappropriate touching and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill manchild and would become his [[sweetheart from the ground-up]]. He ''bragged'' to the latter about how he learned to keep his hands to himself after the fallout with Megan, then faceplanted her breasts.

After Megan cut ties with Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a drawing of him fingerbanging her]] to his ED page, he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. When this failed to placate her, he then had the nerve to say "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''[[Ego|him]]''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

Years later, Chris would go so far as to totally demonize Megan for rejecting his 'good intentions', posting her address up on his [[Facebook]] profile in the hopes that trolls would find it and punish her for him. On 3 and 4 October 2013, he took this even further, posting [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|an unbelievable multi-part tirade]] about Megan on Facebook, wherein he accused her of being the leader of a vast troll conspiracy against him and claimed to have consorted with a ''[[Chris and reality|fictional]] [[Megagi La Skunk|character]]'' Megan once made for him, who supposedly told Chris that Megan [[Sandy|should never have been born]]. As if this wasn't enough insanity on its own, Chris then went on to claim he had confiscated the [[Sailor Megtune]] superpowers he had given her in the comics, and proceeded to demand that Megan fix his entire life, or else he would sic the spirits of his deceased father and dog on her.

Chris has even started up [[List of Chris' Lies|false]] [[rape]] claims against his [[Bruce Johnson|elementary school principal]]. That alone should warrant anybody to not defend him ever.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego just keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool is probably the ''only'' genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally disabled. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding whatever damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. Poetically, after he posted this video, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''. SonichuIzCool didn't step down, and responded back with a video that criticized his actions. To date, Chris has never issued a response to that, thus meaning he was dismantled by a slow-in-the-mind.

On 1 November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to create a YouTube video called [[Twin Falling Towers]], wherein he ''mocks 9/11''. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and terrorists'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. He even used his mouse cursor as a "plane" and made childish explosion noises. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the World Trade Center towers into [[Cakefarts|cake]] candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the Twin Tower images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a "fan" named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch pornography with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|"expert"]], encouraged him to do so. When "Mike" got back to him, the news wasn't good; Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike Sr. begged Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come home. Unfortunately, Chris was under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Chris was next contacted by Mike's "wife", who told him that after discovering that Mike Jr. had married the prostitute in Las Vegas, Mike Sr. died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's widow, offering her his infamous canned response in lieu of even pretending to give a fuck, then later responded to Mike's son's grief and anger with all of three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]] When called out later, he denied having ever spoken to Mike, much less read his obituary. While this was all obviously trolling, Chris's nonchalant reaction to his hypothetically ruining someone's life and tearing their family apart doesn't exactly paint him in a good light.

In the post [[Tomgirl_Saga| Tomgirl saga]] world of Chris some trolls have shown remorse over past trollings of Chris. Some cite Chris' new minority gender identity and his infamous autism as reasons to be more sympathetic to Chris. However, Chris has never shown respect for other transgendered people, but has been outright transphobic [[Doxing Jeff/Francine|by refusing to acknowledge their identity]] or [[I Am me; He is not| using slurs against them]]. This does not stop Chris demanding that people respect his new found gender identity without a hint of self-awareness. Chris has made it clear he doesn't have respect for others even if they share very similar problems or experiences like him. Even post tomgirl Chris has also gone on record refusing to date anyone transgendered or with autism. Chris hates those who are similar to him for bringing his insecurities and imperfections to light and will lash out at them for it.

Any reason you might could find for believing you can save Chris is only fooling yourself. Chris has willfully chosen to become a leech on society and any of many people listed on this wiki who had taken pity on him. He goes from person to person and community to community only to take what ever he feels entitled to from them, and then throw a temper tantrum when they expel him for unacceptable behavior. To illustrate this point, many of the people Chris has hated the most were not trolls or cruel to him, but simply had gotten in the way of things he wanted regardless if it was intentional or not. For example, [[Wes Iseli]] for dating a girl he liked, [[Adam Stackhouse]] for winning a contest he wanted to win, or [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for prohibiting his [[attraction sign]] on campus. This is a cycle that anyone who has followed Chris' misadventures is familiar with and it is safe to say your efforts to change or help him will be no different. Chris needs professional and perhaps Institutional help. Anonymous strangers as well meaning as they may are not equipped with the proper recourses to help Chris, especially as Chris continues [[List of places that have banned Chris| to get banned throughout Charlottesville]] many times without the help of trolls or weens.

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|random video games]] he'll never play, and even DLC for ''games he doesn't own''. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it doesn't require him to do much interacting with other people. Programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]]. He's never going to get a job now, of course - what with his various run-ins with the law, his growing local reputation for public tantrums and violence, his social security, and the fact that he's in his thirties, and has only been employed for a month or so in his entire life, over a decade ago - but he missed a lot of opportunities while it was still possible. Had he made the right choices, he could've been on a career path and out of his ancestral cesspool by now.

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to accept the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the false assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

But just in case you needed any solid proof of Chris' outright selfishness, it basically came straight from the horse's mouth during his trial. When asked if he understood that he'll be paying his court fees:

{{quote| "Yes. My mother will be taking care of that." |Chris.<ref>[[This_is_how_the_Trial_went]]</ref>}}

Keep in mind that the money being used to bail him out of a mess that he caused is coming out of an ailing old widow's purse while Chris [[Chris and Money|nonchalantly throws his own money away]], as evidenced by his PSN activity mere months later. Also, in 2013, [[Facebook#I_have_had_more_freedom_when_my_father_was_alive|he further hammers this point home]] by complaining about having to take care of Barb with Bob's passing, concerned more about his free time and Michael Snyder taking his money away.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own [[honest content]] than being a good net citizen. On the internet, his demeanor is comparable to that of a spammer: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which is generally tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would at least not make deliberate efforts to hinder them. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway, yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam, excessive trolling, and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to the site to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. Thoughts of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on the CWCipedia provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 20 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight E-mails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculously: he denies being [[Obesity|overweight]].

If you ever get some free time, read Vivian Gee's AIM chat. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that PandaHalo was a troll. Chris fell for Panda anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense into him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In her words:

{{quote|i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try.|Vivian, thoroughly summing up how it feels to try to smack some sense into Chris.}}

Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to the woman who was once his biggest defender ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Blanca was the name of more than a few trolls, and Chris fell for it.
* PandaHalo was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite Vivian's warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire video game development company, and Chris fell for it.
* Sarah May was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Julie was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Ivy was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[Liquid Chris]].
** [[Father Call|Kacey's dad]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. [[February_2012|Twice.]]
* [[Catherine]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Anna McLerran|Anna]]'s warnings.

See a pattern here? Back in the day, Chris would've simply dismissed any attempt to open his eyes to the obvious as an attempt to "ruin his relationship/business partnership for the lulz".

As of 2012, however, it seems that Chris has done a 180 on this, where, out of [[Autism|sheer paranoia]], he believes that anybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp10.png]]</ref> and everybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp6.png]]</ref> is a troll, even when he has no sane reason to reach that conclusion<ref>[[:File:Koreans.PNG]]</ref>.

Surprisingly, even in [[2014]], it was revealed that his latest girlfriend, Catherine, was a troll construct. While [[CWCki Forums|the community observing Chris]] are [[Trolls#Today|no longer impressed]] by such [[weening]], it still shows that even after almost a decade of trolls leading him around by his [[duck]], Chris has learned absolutely nothing.

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do some ''bizarre'' things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be out of the ordinary.

The things Chris achieves when left to his own devices are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His previous brushes with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|creepy]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that backfires without fail. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and [[Recycling|lewd acts]] are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. He even bounced back after being [[Mumble 9|verbally abused by a room of trolls]], one of whom went so far as to tell him to go kill himself. Whatever the trolls say or do to Chris, he always does or says something worse to someone else, and he always bounces back anyway, so what's the problem?

[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]

===Chris has made himself an outcast===
High school and college are where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's autistic. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, white, in the Charlottesville area, and willing to mother him forever more.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, threw a particularly bizarre tantrum in her office, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his loitering and soliciting were not appropriate behaviors in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are Jerkops, that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world as the antagonist. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given far more leeway than most people ever would have been given, due to Snyder's misguided pity for him), he was barred from his last hangout in Ruckersville that was still open to him.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He has been offered friendship and care time and again, and every time without fail, he drives his friends away with his entitlement, his perverse, bizarre, bellicose behaviors, or his inappropriate sexual advances, or, failing that, he will dismiss them for trying to get him to improve himself or behave like a responsible adult. While he has began frequenting [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] in recent months, and could potentially make friends there, many Christorians believe it is merely a matter of time before history repeats itself and Chris alienates himself from the other regulars.

Complain as he might, Chris's own actions have made him an outcast, and since he refuses to accept this, much less attempt to improve himself, an outcast he shall remain. Try as they might, neither white knights nor trolls have the power to save Chris from his delusions and cognitive dissonance, only he does.

===The stresses of white-knighting===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to keep up-to-date on his activities. Most have to lie and pretend to be a single girl to even capture his attention. This, combined with Chris's habit of pushing away anyone who tries to connect with him, is enough to make any sane non-psychologist crash into slumber.

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his address will be left unread and deleted. Even back in the days of the [[Mailbag]], any emails submitted to it, if they even got published, would've been [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit, and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant manchildren flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unconsciously attract new trolls to take their place, and we all know weens are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after Barbara dies, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his monthly tugboat and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris ends up in prison (again) he will be trolled there as well, and that's if he's lucky.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[JERKS|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that Christorians still find especially impressive, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a thoroughly-kicked autistic.

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing vidya and occasionally drawing unsellable art until Barb died. He'd remain without social skills, a job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that, without exaggeration, is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has long secured his place among such luminaries as [[wikipedia:Time Cube|Gene Ray]] and [[wikipedia:John Titor|John Titor]], and unlike Gene, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris's interactions with the world through his websites and YouTube have drawn in a considerable number of people from around the world who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over Earth, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving--the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and ''may'' bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study and document his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately well-off. The audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow, even if he generally opts out of doing either. Instead of being an unemployable, fat bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an internet-famous unemployable, fat bedroom dweller, and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, possibly appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could even [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|become the next William Hung]] if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

In fact, recently, Chris seems to have latched onto the idea of monetizing his e-fame, which he has managed somewhat successfully. It started with him being paid by a Japanese noise band (albeit a really obscure one) to produce artwork for their album cover (that didn't feature Sonichu or himself for a change) in early 2015, for which he received $50. At around the same time, he started making replica [[medallions]], taking commissions, and, a little later, making custom Sonichu Amiibos, all of which sold fairly well on [[eBay]], particularly the medallions.

In [[August 2015]], Chris did what no-one had thought he would - he resumed work on the Sonichu comics, asking for donations in exchange for releasing new pages, at a price of $10 per page. He even redrew some of the old comics to be a [[Chris and anger|little more]] [[Death threats|tasteful]], for example retconning the infamous gory executions of the Asperpedia Four in the original version of [[Sonichu 10]] to banishment to an Amish community and forced marriage. Many on Kiwi Farms applauded his resumption of work on the comics, a move they had long suggested. It was predicted that the comics would be a better earner for Chris than the relatively unsuccessful botched Amiibos; although no-one could have forseen [[Autism|one person paying Chris $1000]] - which translates into 100 pages worth of new Sonichu comics - meaning Chris gets money for toys, weed and hormones, while we get new content, and the pleasure of watching the fallout <s>if</s> when Chris fails to produce that many pages. It should of course go without saying that Chris's merchandise is bought ([[Kenneth Erwin Englehardt|almost]]) exclusively by trolls, Christorians, and the rest of his "fanbase", as the fragile, low-quality crap he churns out has no value to anyone else. All in all, Chris is finally cashing in on his e-fame, which may someday lead to him "making peace" with his tormentors, and recognizing that he has a somewhat symbiotic relationship with them. Which of course, renders white knighting essentially redundant.

Another important point to remember is that Chris's perversions, flaws and constant failure have made his life into something of a cautionary tale to other autistic people, and he has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] of them to self-improvement. Really, no matter how dire his circumstances come to be, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on Facebook and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO|his own self-loathing]].

{{quote|Whatever.|Chris' [[Mailbag_29#Whatever|1-word response]] to a fan leaving him, a social worker concerned about the [[Chris_and_health#Living_conditions|state of his house]], and a fan concerned about [[Chandler_Cats#Kitty|one of his cats]].}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|Chris' [[Mailbag_43#Go_Fuck_Yourself.2C_too.21|response]] to constructive criticism about [[Chris_and_copyright#Chris.27s_views|copyright]].}}

Chris doesn't treat his so-called "fans" much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans, and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His Mailbag is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When, or if, he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] had no audio on it whatsoever. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic, and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them, some less, some more, some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

===Chris's upbringing doesn't justify his actions===
The shitty way [[Borb]] raised him may be an ''explanation'' for why Chris is so fucked up, but it's not an ''excuse''. Plenty of people have bad childhoods, and abusive or incompetent parents. However, these people don't use that as an excuse for whatever bad things they do. As these people get help and move on, Chris, on the other hand, remains dependent on the same people who screwed him up, and doesn't even try to move past his childhood. Instead, he escapes into a world of fantasy and pornography, and when confronted by reality, he will use all the mental gymnastics at his disposal to twist reality to resemble how he wants it to be. There's also the fact that [[Cole Smithey]] grew up in the same household with the same parents, and yet he lives a relatively normal life. Meanwhile, Chris behaves like an overgrown child, draws art on par with that of elementary schoolers, is chronically in trouble with the law for his persistent failure to regulate his own behavior in public, and generally is extremely antisocial.

===Chris's life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him===
Today, Chris is a total human trainwreck, slowly losing the last of his sanity as each day goes by. While the systematic trolling of him throughout the last few years has doubtless contributed to his degrading mental state (especially his extreme paranoia and distrust for almost everyone), the fact still remains that his life's horrible state is mainly caused by factors outside of the internet. He would still be a lonely outcast, as his poor upbringing gave him such warped views of the world and led him to engage in such bizarre behavior that he drove away every person he tried to connect with. He would still be living in unsanitary conditions due to Barb's hoarding and the fact that his house has not been properly cleaned in the better part of a decade. He would still be banned from most of his favorite hangouts due to his loitering and hostile behavior to other patrons. Also, at the core of it all is how Chris decided that he would be better off living off government handouts while he sits around playing with toys and video games instead of getting a job and heading down a career path, which would have been his one-way ticket to escaping the cesspool that is [[14 Branchland Court]] and living a fulfilling life, not unlike that of his half-brother. Instead, he decided to remain dependent on his elderly, emotionally disturbed parents; look how well that's working out for him.

True to his word, Chris all but abandoned the Internet between [[July 2012]] and [[2013]], save for sporadic ramblings on Facebook. Despite this, quite a bit was revealed about how well he was doing independent of troll influence. He [[Other_documents#Epistle_to_the_Wesley_Memorial_United_Methodist_Church|alienated himself from his church]], earning a ban from the new pastor (undoubtedly because Chris wouldn't shut the hell up about the trolls). After being banned, he even dismissed Rocky as an effective counselor (keep in mind that Rocky once bailed him out of jail, which is quite an extraordinary act of kindness, counselor or not), and went so far as to accuse [[Chris and religion|God]] of being a troll. He continues to this day to describe his life as isolated and lonely, with nobody willing to talk to him, a scenario many have tried and failed to warn him about. He even earned some ire from Anna, his biggest white knight for [[Facebook#Gay_Marriage|making anti-homosexual statements]] on his Facebook page, he even chose to argue with her instead of trying to piece together why a lesbian friend of his would find such statements offensive. As a coup de grace on all of this, Chris ended up trolling himself in the grandest fashion by revealing an [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur account]] made of all of his previously hidden Facebook posts, despite trolls (save for the one who started it) being completely in the dark about it.

Even if all of that doesn't convince you for some reason, consider this: Chris came ''this'' close to being thrown in jail on [[28 October 2011]], and it's possible he'll end up there at last with the more recent [[26 December 2014]] incident, both of which involved the assault of innocent retail workers trying to protect their customers from him. Both times, he did this on his own initiative, with no prodding from the trolls. And make no mistake, ''everyone'' was thoroughly disgusted by Chris's actions, none were eager to defend his pepper-spray assault on an innocent employee, even those who helped support his [[Sonic Boom Protests]] before.

If we were to be extraordinarily generous and assume that none of the disasters which have befallen Chris since the trolling efforts began in earnest would otherwise have happened, the facts ''still'' indicate that Chris's life would have been a complete mess. Chris was discovered by the internet at large in late 2007, by which point he had already been suspended from college, and banned from the [[Fashion Square]] (twice), along with his local branches of [[Wal-Mart]] and [[Target]], only avoiding criminal charges for the ruckus he caused at the latter because the state didn't feel it was worth the effort to pursue the case. As recently as two months before the "official" start of the trolling of Chris, he was making death threats against Adam Stackhouse and his preteen sister, for the former's unwitting disruption of Chris's plan to lose his virginity with Megan, something that she had made clear she had no interest in doing. It may be a depressing conclusion to arrive at, but there's never been anything that anyone outside of the confines of 14 Branchland Court could have reasonably done to prevent Chris's life from being a trainwreck.

===Chris's white knights are making him worse===
A quick glance at the comments on his Facebook statuses should confirm this. Even after he ''committed a felony'' by assaulting a GameStop employee with pepper spray on Boxing Day 2014, then posted a long-winded, obviously dishonest tirade painting himself as an innocent victim on Facebook, none of his white knights offered anything more than a softly-worded, mild condemnation of his behavior. [[William Elliott Waterman|Some]] avoided a direct response altogether, and made some barely relevant comment that conspicuously avoided the main point of Chris's self-serving drivel, probably a feeble and misguided attempt to defuse his [[Chris and anger|rage]].

And this is how his white knights react whenever he gets angry about having to face the consequences of his own behavior. It's painfully clear to Chris's trolls and other observers that his white knights are woefully ill-equipped to deal with Chris. The reactions his tantrums garner from them clearly indicate that they remain ignorant (passively or otherwise) to facts that most learned long ago; namely, that the "soft touch" has never worked with Chris, and only serves to reinforce his [[Chris and reality|belief]] that [[Chris and his Ego|he should be given whatever he desires]] (he is even openly stating that he is ''entitled'' to a girlfriend), and allowed to do as he pleases, while [[Barbara Chandler|others]] shield him from the [[Chris and the Law|negative repercussions]].

Chris's white knights also habitually feed Chris's belief that his trolls are subhuman bullies who simply want to see him destroyed in every conceivable way because he's such a special, brave little boy. While this is [[A-Logging|true of]] [[Weening|some]], for the most part, Chris's trolls are just as interested in seeing Chris improve himself as white knights are, if not moreso, even if many are beginning to doubt such a thing is possible. Indeed, many of the female troll personas who "date" or "befriend" Chris have tried to help him see the error of his ways and reform, and continue to do so. It is partially due to the influence of Chris's white knights, who foolishly (and often futilely) try to root out these trolls, that these attempts to help Chris never result in lasting, positive change on his part.

In short, most of Chris's white knights are attention whores, sycophants or both. To these people, going on a witch-hunt for trolls is preferable to actually trying to help Chris, something which, ironically, even Chris's trolls continue to try to do.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

===White Knights on YouTube===

Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and Panda. She also released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the [[CWCville Library]]'s original curator, Arjen Van Dierten.

On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends, forgetting the fact that BlueSpike ''has no friends''.

===White Knights on Facebook===

In recent times (since 2012), Chris has taken to using Facebook as his main means of expressing himself. Inevitably, this has not only attracted the attention of trolls, but, in 2013, a slew of White Knights as well, in particular, a [[William Elliott Waterman]], who taunted the trolls to come after him instead of Chris ('''Spoiler:''' Nobody did, because nobody actually cared what he had to say). Anna and [[Kim]] are two of the most notable ones on his friends list, both of whom try to offer constructive advice whenever Chris nosedives into a rant...when they're not busy kissing his ass, especially in the case of Anna.

However, as we've come to expect of Chris, anybody who tells him something he doesn't want to hear are people that needed to be brushed off until they stop saying those mean, awful things to him. A good case in point is his [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart|anger-laced tirade in September 2013, when he got thrown out of Walmart and started calling names]]. The white knights typically chimed in with their support...''until'' he revealed that he [[Chris and the law|vandalized]] an Xbox One display in the store. Several of them then told Chris that this was not right of him to do, and that the manager had every right to throw him out. His response to that?

{{quote|They do not.
And if they do, they are most in the wrong, [[Chris and reality|because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever]].|- Chris's response to Chris Rhodes}}

===White Knights in Real Life===

Aside from the most obvious example, an old classmate of Chris from [[Manchester High School]] came online and attempted to defend Chris. Once [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|certain details]] became known, however, said classmate quickly backpedaled on this once he realized that the majority of [[CWCki|what happened]] was Chris' own fault.

===TV Tropes===
The TV Tropes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Sonichu article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. It was eventually removed due to TV Tropes' website policy changing later on--in other words, said message would no longer be allowed on the website. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, the editor in question fails to realize that their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]]

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any old e-friend can reach Chris at this point and change him for the better, certainly not by continuing to ass-pat and pamper him, which is precisely what fucked him up so badly in the first place (as this wiki evidences copiously). Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls, for daring to tell him anything he does not want to hear. With each new incident he causes, it is increasingly obvious that little short of [[Chris and psychology|professional intervention]], the [[Chris and religion|intercession of]] [[GodJesus]], or a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|horrifyingly close brush with death]] will change him.

Though the trolls have certainly tried to be a positive influence on Chris, even they are now largely admitting that Chris is well beyond our aid. They have spent years trying to pierce Chris's many insulating layers of self-deceit, egotism and sheer stubbornness. It is worth bearing in mind that it is these people, not the white knights, that are the closest thing he has to friends, and that some of them have been at this for nearly a decade. They ''know'' him, and if they can't make Chris change, what on earth makes you think you can?

To conclude, with Chris's paranoia, detachment from reality, outlandish behavior and bellicosity all becoming steadily more severe, and with interventions by trolls and white knights alike failing, the best we can hope for is that Chris causes [[26 December 2014|some sort of trouble]] that leads to him receiving the help he needs.

==See also==
*[[A-Logging]]
*[[Weening]]
*[[White knight E-mails]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.se/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Sonichu 11

2017-02-06T11:09:59Z

RedVine01: /* Comic pages */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Unfinished}}
{{Begging Counter}}

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #11
| cover = Issue 11 Cover.jpg
| coverdate = 13 [[August 2009]]
| finishedcomic = ''incomplete''
| pagecount = 39 (so far)
| Episodes = 22
| previous = [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]
| next = [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]
}}

{{Quote|I have not ended [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]; I only lost inspiration to [[Chris and art|draw]], thanks to [[Trolls|the people online]].|Chris, September 2010.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I am getting back into the swing of drawing, writing and coloring my pages. The stories resume! And I am not letting too many cooks into this kitchen like I did inadvertently with the haters.|Chris, September 2015.<ref>[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Sonichu 11 Continues]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I have been unable to get that routine successfully habitual and set. The reasons are between my Emotions and Mood; I have to be in the right mind set in order to draw and create.|Chris, February 2016, shortly before citing a bunch of tired excuses as to why he won’t work on the comic that he was paid over $1,000 to do.<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism]]</ref>}}

'''''Sonichu'' #11''' is the twelfth comic in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]], dated 13 [[August 2009]]. The cover claims to be the tenth anniversary issue. (Ten years without a "cease and desist" letter from [[Nintendo]] or [[Sega]]!) Chris abandoned the issue in [[December 2009]], months before the tenth anniversary of [[Sonichu]]'s creation came and went on 17 [[March 2010]]. For years it seemed that Chris was done with Sonichu forever. On 4 [[September 2015]], however, in an unprecedented act of will and determination, Chris managed to crawl back from his long dark night of [[Kick the Autistic|abuse]] at the hands of the trolls and cyber-bullies, and finally released new pages. The revival of the Sonichu comic proved too stressful for Chris, in spite of the fact that he had been paid over $1,000 to do it<ref>[[Etsy#Donate towards New Comic Book Pages]]</ref>, and he dropped the project once again after 25 October.

==Production Notes==
[[Chris]] began writing this issue while [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] was also in production, apparently to have somewhere to put the comic version of "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]," which is even more unendurably boring than its prose counterpart. Christmas [[2009]] came and went, and Chris apparently forgot about this unfinished story with eight pages to go. In the meantime, he was still engrossed in tracing shit for his epic battle with [[Reldnahc]] and the anti-[[gay]] vaccine from the future. So far, Chris has kept the promise of not including the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic Chris]] as a character, restructuring the series to its original intention as an uninspired ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' [[Chris and copyright|homage]].

The glorious, yet brief, resurrection of this comic on 4 September 2015, when Chris uploaded 11 new pages, was accompanied by a [[Etsy#Donate towards New Comic Book Pages|donation bucket]] on his new [[Etsy]] account. One day later, a Youtube reviewer named [[Weening|DStecks]] gave Chris $1,000, thinking that Chris would deliver 100 pages of Sonichu. The donation listing was one of his best-selling items, until Etsy forced him to remove it, apparently because it violated TOS<ref>[[May 2016 Facebook posts#Etsy listing removal]]</ref>. [[List of Chris's lies|Money would go towards production of ''Sonichu'' #11]], with a single character drawing offered to each person who donated, almost like a poor man's [[Wikipedia:Patreon|Patreon]]. Chris completed a further 16 pages before dropping the project. In [[February 2016]], he claimed that he was too stressed to continue Sonichu 11<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism]]</ref>.

Only 27 pages were added in 2015, but in them, the ubiquitous elements of ''Sonichu'' - boring and confusing plotlines, inappropriate portrayals of underage characters, walls of expository text and tone-deaf racism - are present and accounted for.

==A Sonichu Christmas==
{{Resources
| title = A Sonichu Christmas
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.915813811846432.1073741853.100002534669114&type=3 ''A Sonichu Christmas''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_11/Page_1 ''A Sonichu Christmas''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9245JMAhhw ''A Sonichu Christmas''}}
[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|Take that, separation of church and state! Also: child molestation.]]
[[Image:Thisemotionyoucallwuvconfusesandinfuriatesus.jpg|thumb|She's addressing Chris.]]
In [[December 2009]], in response to requests for a ''Sonichu'' Christmas special, Chris began to create a comic adaptation of "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]," at the same time as he was working on the original prose version of the story. This marks the second time that Chris's [[Chris and writing|prose]] was adapted into comic form - the short story "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]" served as the basis for Episodes 1 and 2 in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]. The story contains nothing of substantial value to the overarching saga of ''Sonichu'', instead just depicting the Lovehogs and their hellish offspring partaking in various boring and tedious Christmas activities, with no conflict or general narrative friction whatsoever.

The comic opens to show Sonichu's family in various states of celebration for the Christmas season, with the house decorated for the holiday. For a wintertime scene, the lawn of 14 Brunchland Lane is impossibly green, while a bike is left out along the side of the house awaiting permanent rusting from the events to follow. This is because Chris [[Scrapbook of Fail|reused]] the [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/2/27/SchuComic9P34.jpg original 14 Brunchland Lane picture] seen in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] with half-assed editing of the clouds and sky to a dark blue color to reflect the nighttime, the removal of [[Reldnahc]] running down the road, and the addition of poorly-rendered Christmas lights and a wreath onto the house. Chris believes toddlers can do a lot, as Cerah, Christine and Robbie hang stockings, rehearse for the overtly Christian school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them appears to be in elementary school, so Chris likely forgot how old they were supposed to be.

While rehearsing for a Christmas pageant at her school, Christine plagiarizes a joke from ''[[Family Guy]]'' when she ad libs that the Virgin Mary may not really have been a [[virgin]], which has the unfortunate effect of making it seem like Christine has been raped or molested. Sonichu and [[Robbie]] are seen to be hanging stockings, and Robbie butchers a quote from a [[wikipedia:A Visit from St. Nicholas|holiday classic]]. After a long, boring conversation about what toys Robbie wants, the conversation finally ends with Sonichu giving a diabetes-inducing speech about loving his little angelic kids.

Meanwhile Rosechu and [[Cerah]] make cookies. Cerah makes a big deal about making a special cookie for a [[Jewish]] kid named [[Kevin the Jew|Kevin]] in an uncomfortably awkward attempt at sensitivity. The cookie, made in the vague shape of a candle, bears no resemblance to any Jewish symbol. The cookie is vanilla-flavored, in case the kid has some kind of food allergy. Rosechu and Cerah do not consider that anyone other than Jews might have food allergies. Cerah says "I wuv you!" while facing away from her mother and directly at the reader, apparently breaking the fourth wall.

In the living room, Robbie and Cerah notice that it has begun to snow. As they watch, Sonichu and Rosechu discuss the weather forecast and decide to hoard groceries while the roads are still clear. While Sonichu goes to the supermarket, Christine recites [[Wikipedia:Magnificat|Luke 1:45-55]] (which Chris types as Luke 1:46.5 - 55) while Rosechu watches and the children stare on with their soulless green eyes. Incidentally, this Bible verse mentions how [[GodJesus]] will reward the humble and [[Chris and his ego|punish the proud and the mighty]]. While this passage is commonly heard in Protestant churches, there's no way that any American public school in the 21st century could get away with anything this overtly religious without fear of legal reprisal.

Later, Sonichu returns home with groceries, and is welcomed home woodenly by Rosechu. His trip to the grocery store is not depicted or described in any way, rendering it a pointless plot feature.

The next morning, Sonichu and Rosechu sit in the kitchen drinking coffee. A [[KCWC]] announcer details [[CWCville]] school closings, and Sonichu expresses his anticipated enjoyment of a day spent with his family, hot "[[tobacky|coca]]" and a warm shower. Rosechu nags him to clear the snow burying their palatial residence, so Sonichu "bundles up for work." The kids wake and greet their father in unsettling unison, to which Sonichu replies with a hearty "good [[Geinus|mornint]]." Noticing that all doors and windows are barred by mounds of snow, Sonichu decides to show off in front of the kids by jumping up their chimney like Santa Claus. Outside, he uses his super speed to scatter the snow off of his yard, heedless of the likelihood that the light and fluffy snow he's moving will be blown towards a busy road and possibly cause a [[Son-Chu|tragic accident]]. Exhausted, he heads back into the house for [[Chris and health#Hygiene|a shower]]. Waiting patiently by the bathroom (because Chris thinks women spend all their time waiting to be directed by men), Rosechu holds a hideous novelty Christmas towel and blesses Sonichu for doing thirty seconds of chores.

To bore us further, we are informed that Robbie [[Christian Weston Chandler|plays video games and watches TV]] and reminded that Rosechu is motivated only by her [[Women's rights|desire to cook and clean]]. Cerah, meanwhile, plays ''Call of Duty: World at War'', an eight-year-old video game, with Kevin the Jew. Kevin's character dies and his score is erased (even though ''Call of Duty'' doesn't work that way as a game), and when he complains, Cera chides him that he "[[Sonic Boom Protests|can't be so attached to a set of pixels]]." The two fight over the game, and soon after [[Magi-Chan]] begins chatting to Cerah telepathically about the incident (presumably having been [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nineteen_Eighty-Four monitoring her thoughts]), exploring her feelings for Kevin despite the fact that she's [[Pedofork|supposed to be a toddler]]. Meanwhile, Sonichu and Robbie meet a homeless woman and instead of offering her a place to sleep in their luxury home provided by the city of CWCville, they call her a cab to a soup kitchen. Robbie, eager for adulation, announces that he feels embarrassed by his professed enormous reservoir of empathy for the less fortunate.

Blake and Bubbles are approached by [[Inos]], who wishes them a happy Kwanzaa. Blake suddenly remarks furiously that he isn't [[Chris and race|racist]] before [[Chris and Hypocrisy|expressing furious rage]] at the mere notion of someone thinking he is black, insisting mystifyingly that his fur does not look "skinburn colour." A [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retroactive flashback]] informs us that [[Simonla]] actually survived the Voltorb attack in ''Sonichu'' #10 due to a healing ability that was never referenced before. She is reunited with Wild, her (for all intents and purposes identical) daughter Sandy, and Zapina, who hugs Simonla and calls her "sis."

As they leave the hospital, Sandy's thoughts turn toward the [[Asperpedia Four|"bad men" in Amish Country]] and whether or not they celebrate Christmas. Wild immediately checks his smart phone and explains very tersely that the Amish actually celebrate two Christmases, focusing on "family, togetherness and reglion [sic]". Sandy imagines Mao and Alec trading simple building materials on Christmas, before almost orgasming at the thought of raising a barn. Mao and Alec also appreciate the fact that Sean is placated by rocks, for [[Audiobooks|he indeed rocks]]. All their discourse is conducted in English [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pennsylvania_Dutch for some reason]. [[Evan]] is unmentioned. Sandy concludes her fantasy by proclaiming the Amish "weird". The entire segment is, of course, a ham-fisted attempt to remind everyone that Chris rectonned the violent deaths of these men in ''[[Sonichu 10]]'' into an exile into Amish country.

Wild and Simonla then take Sandy and Zapina (who may or may not have her own family) off to [[Country Cookin']] to celebrate. A totally unwarranted author's note informs the reader that all Sonichus and Rosechus drive hybrids. Meanwhile, up in the mountains for some reason, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Silvana Rosechu]] huddle around a fire, and exchange wooden statements about how they are "fated" to be a couple. Silvana thanks Magi-Chan for all the character development that has occurred off-panel, and asks if he remembers how they first met. Magi-Chan confusingly suggests, [[Chris and Writing|"at the risk of breaking the fourth wall"]], they save the story they both know for another time. Silvana then demands they "shut up, make out and mate up" and Magi-Chan expresses his desire to literally destroy the mountain they are on via violent intercourse.

We then see [[Punchy]] decorating his dojo (since all [[Chris and Race|Asians]] celebrate Christmas, apparently), and [[Angelica]] "sets a table" (the "table" is the altar of her church, which Chris evidently believes Catholics use as a dining table). No sign of [[Reginald Sneasel|Reginald]] or [[Layla Flaafy|Layla]] though; perhaps Reginald's constant attempts at relationship sabotage have finally borne fruit, or more likely Chris has lost interest in the characters and they will never be mentioned again.

At long last, we see Christine performing in the Nativity Play (along with Kevin, the practicing Jew). Suddenly, Christine begins to evolve, and runs off stage in embarrassment. She texts Rosechu (since everybody just has a smartphone in this issue) about her clothes being destroyed and the great urgency with which she needs new ones. This once again muddies the waters regarding Sonichus and Rosechus and clothing; Christine is practically hysterical over not having any clothes to wear even though she's covered in fur and many of the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon never wear clothing at all.

Clothing issues notwithstanding, Rosechu finds the now-adult Christine behind a locked door, and comforts her by sharing in a duet of [[Tomgirl|"I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman"]]. Sonichu suddenly returns with "coat, sandals, socks, [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|panties]]" before regaling everyone with a pointless, extremely detailed account of his trip home and back. Christine triumphantly returns to the stage and completes her part, despite dwarfing the rest of the cast.

After the play, Cera approaches Kevin and apologizes for killing off his video game character, offering him dreidel cookies as a way of making amends. Kevin calmly explains (inexplicably employing a huge amount of military jargon) how Cera's aggressive video game playing has proven "too much for him" and unceremoniously breaks up with her. These characters are supposed to be very young children.

Devastated, Cera breaks down into tears and the famously empathetic Robbie comes over to comfort her. Together, they cry for two whole minutes before deciding they're over it. Note that this is one of few occasions in ''Sonichu'' where an undesirable situation is not resolved in an artifically cheerful way. Christine scoops up her siblings, Rosechu mentioning how she's gone from "middle child to big sister", and they all head off in their electric car.

===Hoax conclusion===
[[Image:Sonichu 11 Teaser.jpg|thumb|[[Alec Benson Leary]]'s rendition.]]
On 24 [[April 2010]], the Sysop of the [[CWCipedia]] uploaded two new episodes from ''Sonichu'' #11. These stories picked up where [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] left off and continued the dark and downbeat tone: [[Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]] were killed in the bombing of the CWCville [[Mal-Wart]]; [[Sandy Rosechu]] was run over by an inattentive driver; [[Wild]] committed suicide in a fit of grief and rage; [[Christine]] and [[Robbie]] were killed and [[Cerah]] badly injured when the three of them drank drain cleaner; [[Rosechu]] smothered her permanently crippled daughter with a pillow; [[Sonichu]] demanded a divorce; and [[Reginald Sneasel]] decided to show the world his "[[Pickle|seven-inch lightning rod]]." An archive of the pages can be seen [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/that-one-issue.197/#post-20215 here].

Despite an overwhelmingly positive fan response to the new pages, Chris clarified in a rage-filled [[CWC Blog]] update that they were the work of a troll<ref>[[CWC_Blog#26_April_2010]]</ref>. During The Great Rampage 2.0 (when the [[CWCipedia]] was hacked for the second and final time), the pages were restored, but the CWCipedia died the next day.

==Comic pages==
Special Episode - A Sonichu Christmas
<center>{{collapsible
|12 pages from 2009
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:SchuComic11P1.jpg
File:SchuComic11P2.jpg
File:SchuComic11P3.jpg|Despite Rosechu apparently loving to shop, this is one of the only times we see her in a different dress.
File:SchuComic11P4.jpg
File:SchuComic11P5.jpg
File:SchuComic11P6.jpg
File:SchuComic11P7.jpg
File:SchuComic11P8.jpg
File:SchuComic11P9.jpg
File:SchuComic11P10.jpg
File:SchuComic11P11.jpg
File:SchuComic11P12.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

<center>{{collapsible
|11 pages from 4 September 2015 (pre-$1,000 donation)
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11p13.jpg
File:Son11p14.jpg
File:Son11p15.jpg
File:Son11p16.jpg
File:Son11p17.jpg
File:Son11p18.jpg
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File:Son11p20.jpg
File:Son11p21.jpg
File:Son11p22.jpg
File:Son11p23.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

<center>{{collapsible
|16 pages from 25 October 2015 (post-$1,000 donation)
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11p24.jpg
File:Son11p25.jpg
File:Son11p26.jpg
File:Son11p27.jpg
File:Son11p28.jpg
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File:Son11p36.jpg
File:Son11p37.jpg
File:Son11p38.jpg
File:Son11p39.jpg|Hey, Cerah and Robbie have evolved to- Oh wait, it's just Sonichu and Rosechu.
</gallery>}}</center>

On 5 September 2015, a set of uncolored development images of Sonichu #11 pages was leaked<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sonichu-11-development-images.12384</ref>. They appear to prove that the 2015 pages were in fact new, and not something he had been holding back for an extended time.
<center>{{collapsible
|Development Images
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11development1.jpg
File:Son11development2.jpg
File:Son11development3.jpg
File:Son11development4.jpg
File:Son11development5.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

==What Can We Anticipate?==

The ultimate content of future episodes can only be speculated on; doubtless, it will consist of the first thing that comes to Chris's head whenever he can be bothered to scrawl a few pages. [[Sonic]] appears prominently on the cover, making it probable that he will make his first appearance since he helped Sonichu rescue Rosechu way back in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]].

Chris has said that "''The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed.''"<ref>[[Mailbag 51]]</ref> This is almost entirely incomprehensible, as a [[Wikipedia:Reboot (fiction)|reboot]] is a declaration by a Great Director that previously-established canon is null and void, or at least irrelevant. For example, ''[[wikipedia:Batman Begins|Batman Begins]]'' was a fresh start with no canonical relation to the [[wikipedia:Batman|comic book source material]] or the [[wikipedia:Batman (film series)|previous film franchise]]. A [[Wikipedia:Clip show|clip show]], on the other hand, is a TV episode composed mainly of excerpts from previous episodes. Neither of these correspond to answered questions or revealed plots. It's possible that by "Clip Show," Chris meant that ''Sonichu'' #11 would contain more [[Wikipedia:backstory|backstory]], while by "reboot," he meant that the existing "plot" would be [[Chris and writing|clumsily resolved in a couple of pages]] before establishing a new status quo (though considering Chris's pathological [[Sonic Boom Protests|revulsion to change]], this isn't likely). It is likely that a "clip show" issue would allow Chris to release an issue by reusing content from the previous ones.

Chris also said that he would refashion ''Sonichu'' into a less [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarizing]] and more [[Liquid Chris|authentic]] franchise, and has attempted to do so via retcons and revised artwork; all appearances and mentions of [[Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] were replaced by "original" mad scientist Ren Skysoar and [[Sonic]] and [[Amy Rose]] in [[Sonichu 1]] are revealed to be an illusion by [[Silvana Rosechu]]. The clear derivative nature of the series is nonetheless present.

Over the years Chris has dropped a few hints about specific plotlines. At one point he stated, ''"[[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."''<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> He later elaborated, ''"Count Graduon will be the Major Villain beyond ''[''Sonichu'' #10]'', possessing the [[Metal Sonichu]] that crashed on [[the moon]] back in [[Sonichu 1|Book 1]].''<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> The issue may also move to [[RuleCWC]]: Chris has said that ''"[[Darkbind]] and [[Zelina]] will be fighting [[Clawdorf]] with great sword and bow/arrow battles."''<ref>[[Mailbag 52]]</ref>

There may also be a lack of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Great Director intrusion]]: ''"After [[Sonichu 10|Book 10]], I will be making LESS personal appearances in the pages, as having done so was a big mistake, because I had got carried away with the [[Love quest|trials and tribulations]] in my life, [[Man in the Pickle Suit|real]] and [[BlueSpike|online]], that it completely messed me up."''<ref>[[Mailbag 53]]</ref>

The long-awaited continuation of Sonichu 11 in [[September 2015]] has so far involved only the playing-out of the boring Christmas story and the revelation that [[Simonla]] is not dead after all.

===2016 comments===
Chris discussed the comic with [[Arthur Spatchcock]] in early 2016.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And uh, kind of a spoiler, there will be a part in a future story where he-- where pretty much in a dream scenario, he has to swim in a river of essentially pickle brine juice.

'''Arthur:''' Oh no.

'''Chris:''' And he blows up during the swim.

'''Arthur:''' Really? So he's like, he's like deathly allergic to pickles?

'''Chris:''' Quite.

'''Arthur:''' He better hope he gets an [[wikipedia:Epinephrine|endephrine shot]] after that.

'''Chris:''' Well he's quite, uh, he's quite strong, so he's able to survive it, and at the end of the river is uh, is a healing pond at which he recovers from the allergy fairly quick.

'''Arthur:''' Well I guess that will definitely take care of that problem.

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Arthur:''' Now are you going to be introducing any more new characters into the series? Because right now you've already got quite a collection of people already ready to go. But seeing as how previous villains in the series have either been arrested, or, or gone, or dead, or missing, I should say, are you introducing new villains into the series based on the current, you know, issues in your life?

'''Chris:''' I would say that's still yet to be determined. But at least I was-- at least I am definitely glad to give Count Graduon a past human form with which to lead into his spirit, and um, [[Duck|very small]] spoiler, among the uh, people he'll be bringing in uh, the bodies, he finds somebody that looks nearly exactly like he used to, and he brings in-- he becomes one of the Jerkops, so he brings him in and moves his soul from the Metal Sonichu into that body.

'''Arthur:''' Now I gotta tell you right now, I definitely want to see more Metal Sonichu.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you'll definitely see Graduon's soul in Metal Sonichu's body, and uh, Skysoar will be employed under Graduon, and he'll make a few more of them.

'''Arthur:''' See, what you need in the series, I think to really push the bad guys now, instead of just having Jerkops, you need like, robotic Jerkops, like 2.0.

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, pretty much, uh...

'''Arthur:''' After all, when you have a hero like Sonichu... Sonichu is already pretty powerful, and all of his friends are pretty strong too. You need to start adding that concept of conflict by making the enemies tougher too.

'''Chris:''' ...Yes, that will be taken under consideration. I already have a few-- I already have a few ideas on my mind, among which. But that is definitely one I could definitely add into, uh, the uh, into the Jerkop and Janekops, there.

'''Arthur:''' Because--

'''Chris:''' Make 'em-- make 'em a bit cyborg.

'''Arthur:''' Yes, you know, it's like, uh, it's like Power Rangers, the original Power Rangers, with Zordon? When they had the Putties, and then they had the Lord Zedd Putties?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. ...Quite. But anyway, yes, I will take all that under great consideration.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu #11 Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0hhhM_lfR-8}}
| stardate = 11 [[August 2011]]
| maker = archhalljr10
| subject = ''Sonichu'' #11
| type = Fan trailer
}}

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_11/Page_1 ''Sonichu'' #11]
* [https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.915813811846432.1073741853.100002534669114&type=3/ 2015 Pages of Sonichu 11]
* [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/that-one-issue.197/#post-20215 Mirror of Sysop's FALSE and DISHONEST version of pages 13-38]

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Sonichu 11

2017-02-06T11:07:47Z

RedVine01: /* Comic pages */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Unfinished}}
{{Begging Counter}}

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #11
| cover = Issue 11 Cover.jpg
| coverdate = 13 [[August 2009]]
| finishedcomic = ''incomplete''
| pagecount = 39 (so far)
| Episodes = 22
| previous = [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]
| next = [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]
}}

{{Quote|I have not ended [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]; I only lost inspiration to [[Chris and art|draw]], thanks to [[Trolls|the people online]].|Chris, September 2010.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I am getting back into the swing of drawing, writing and coloring my pages. The stories resume! And I am not letting too many cooks into this kitchen like I did inadvertently with the haters.|Chris, September 2015.<ref>[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Sonichu 11 Continues]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I have been unable to get that routine successfully habitual and set. The reasons are between my Emotions and Mood; I have to be in the right mind set in order to draw and create.|Chris, February 2016, shortly before citing a bunch of tired excuses as to why he won’t work on the comic that he was paid over $1,000 to do.<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism]]</ref>}}

'''''Sonichu'' #11''' is the twelfth comic in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]], dated 13 [[August 2009]]. The cover claims to be the tenth anniversary issue. (Ten years without a "cease and desist" letter from [[Nintendo]] or [[Sega]]!) Chris abandoned the issue in [[December 2009]], months before the tenth anniversary of [[Sonichu]]'s creation came and went on 17 [[March 2010]]. For years it seemed that Chris was done with Sonichu forever. On 4 [[September 2015]], however, in an unprecedented act of will and determination, Chris managed to crawl back from his long dark night of [[Kick the Autistic|abuse]] at the hands of the trolls and cyber-bullies, and finally released new pages. The revival of the Sonichu comic proved too stressful for Chris, in spite of the fact that he had been paid over $1,000 to do it<ref>[[Etsy#Donate towards New Comic Book Pages]]</ref>, and he dropped the project once again after 25 October.

==Production Notes==
[[Chris]] began writing this issue while [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] was also in production, apparently to have somewhere to put the comic version of "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]," which is even more unendurably boring than its prose counterpart. Christmas [[2009]] came and went, and Chris apparently forgot about this unfinished story with eight pages to go. In the meantime, he was still engrossed in tracing shit for his epic battle with [[Reldnahc]] and the anti-[[gay]] vaccine from the future. So far, Chris has kept the promise of not including the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic Chris]] as a character, restructuring the series to its original intention as an uninspired ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' [[Chris and copyright|homage]].

The glorious, yet brief, resurrection of this comic on 4 September 2015, when Chris uploaded 11 new pages, was accompanied by a [[Etsy#Donate towards New Comic Book Pages|donation bucket]] on his new [[Etsy]] account. One day later, a Youtube reviewer named [[Weening|DStecks]] gave Chris $1,000, thinking that Chris would deliver 100 pages of Sonichu. The donation listing was one of his best-selling items, until Etsy forced him to remove it, apparently because it violated TOS<ref>[[May 2016 Facebook posts#Etsy listing removal]]</ref>. [[List of Chris's lies|Money would go towards production of ''Sonichu'' #11]], with a single character drawing offered to each person who donated, almost like a poor man's [[Wikipedia:Patreon|Patreon]]. Chris completed a further 16 pages before dropping the project. In [[February 2016]], he claimed that he was too stressed to continue Sonichu 11<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism]]</ref>.

Only 27 pages were added in 2015, but in them, the ubiquitous elements of ''Sonichu'' - boring and confusing plotlines, inappropriate portrayals of underage characters, walls of expository text and tone-deaf racism - are present and accounted for.

==A Sonichu Christmas==
{{Resources
| title = A Sonichu Christmas
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.915813811846432.1073741853.100002534669114&type=3 ''A Sonichu Christmas''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_11/Page_1 ''A Sonichu Christmas''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9245JMAhhw ''A Sonichu Christmas''}}
[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|Take that, separation of church and state! Also: child molestation.]]
[[Image:Thisemotionyoucallwuvconfusesandinfuriatesus.jpg|thumb|She's addressing Chris.]]
In [[December 2009]], in response to requests for a ''Sonichu'' Christmas special, Chris began to create a comic adaptation of "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]," at the same time as he was working on the original prose version of the story. This marks the second time that Chris's [[Chris and writing|prose]] was adapted into comic form - the short story "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]" served as the basis for Episodes 1 and 2 in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]. The story contains nothing of substantial value to the overarching saga of ''Sonichu'', instead just depicting the Lovehogs and their hellish offspring partaking in various boring and tedious Christmas activities, with no conflict or general narrative friction whatsoever.

The comic opens to show Sonichu's family in various states of celebration for the Christmas season, with the house decorated for the holiday. For a wintertime scene, the lawn of 14 Brunchland Lane is impossibly green, while a bike is left out along the side of the house awaiting permanent rusting from the events to follow. This is because Chris [[Scrapbook of Fail|reused]] the [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/2/27/SchuComic9P34.jpg original 14 Brunchland Lane picture] seen in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] with half-assed editing of the clouds and sky to a dark blue color to reflect the nighttime, the removal of [[Reldnahc]] running down the road, and the addition of poorly-rendered Christmas lights and a wreath onto the house. Chris believes toddlers can do a lot, as Cerah, Christine and Robbie hang stockings, rehearse for the overtly Christian school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them appears to be in elementary school, so Chris likely forgot how old they were supposed to be.

While rehearsing for a Christmas pageant at her school, Christine plagiarizes a joke from ''[[Family Guy]]'' when she ad libs that the Virgin Mary may not really have been a [[virgin]], which has the unfortunate effect of making it seem like Christine has been raped or molested. Sonichu and [[Robbie]] are seen to be hanging stockings, and Robbie butchers a quote from a [[wikipedia:A Visit from St. Nicholas|holiday classic]]. After a long, boring conversation about what toys Robbie wants, the conversation finally ends with Sonichu giving a diabetes-inducing speech about loving his little angelic kids.

Meanwhile Rosechu and [[Cerah]] make cookies. Cerah makes a big deal about making a special cookie for a [[Jewish]] kid named [[Kevin the Jew|Kevin]] in an uncomfortably awkward attempt at sensitivity. The cookie, made in the vague shape of a candle, bears no resemblance to any Jewish symbol. The cookie is vanilla-flavored, in case the kid has some kind of food allergy. Rosechu and Cerah do not consider that anyone other than Jews might have food allergies. Cerah says "I wuv you!" while facing away from her mother and directly at the reader, apparently breaking the fourth wall.

In the living room, Robbie and Cerah notice that it has begun to snow. As they watch, Sonichu and Rosechu discuss the weather forecast and decide to hoard groceries while the roads are still clear. While Sonichu goes to the supermarket, Christine recites [[Wikipedia:Magnificat|Luke 1:45-55]] (which Chris types as Luke 1:46.5 - 55) while Rosechu watches and the children stare on with their soulless green eyes. Incidentally, this Bible verse mentions how [[GodJesus]] will reward the humble and [[Chris and his ego|punish the proud and the mighty]]. While this passage is commonly heard in Protestant churches, there's no way that any American public school in the 21st century could get away with anything this overtly religious without fear of legal reprisal.

Later, Sonichu returns home with groceries, and is welcomed home woodenly by Rosechu. His trip to the grocery store is not depicted or described in any way, rendering it a pointless plot feature.

The next morning, Sonichu and Rosechu sit in the kitchen drinking coffee. A [[KCWC]] announcer details [[CWCville]] school closings, and Sonichu expresses his anticipated enjoyment of a day spent with his family, hot "[[tobacky|coca]]" and a warm shower. Rosechu nags him to clear the snow burying their palatial residence, so Sonichu "bundles up for work." The kids wake and greet their father in unsettling unison, to which Sonichu replies with a hearty "good [[Geinus|mornint]]." Noticing that all doors and windows are barred by mounds of snow, Sonichu decides to show off in front of the kids by jumping up their chimney like Santa Claus. Outside, he uses his super speed to scatter the snow off of his yard, heedless of the likelihood that the light and fluffy snow he's moving will be blown towards a busy road and possibly cause a [[Son-Chu|tragic accident]]. Exhausted, he heads back into the house for [[Chris and health#Hygiene|a shower]]. Waiting patiently by the bathroom (because Chris thinks women spend all their time waiting to be directed by men), Rosechu holds a hideous novelty Christmas towel and blesses Sonichu for doing thirty seconds of chores.

To bore us further, we are informed that Robbie [[Christian Weston Chandler|plays video games and watches TV]] and reminded that Rosechu is motivated only by her [[Women's rights|desire to cook and clean]]. Cerah, meanwhile, plays ''Call of Duty: World at War'', an eight-year-old video game, with Kevin the Jew. Kevin's character dies and his score is erased (even though ''Call of Duty'' doesn't work that way as a game), and when he complains, Cera chides him that he "[[Sonic Boom Protests|can't be so attached to a set of pixels]]." The two fight over the game, and soon after [[Magi-Chan]] begins chatting to Cerah telepathically about the incident (presumably having been [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nineteen_Eighty-Four monitoring her thoughts]), exploring her feelings for Kevin despite the fact that she's [[Pedofork|supposed to be a toddler]]. Meanwhile, Sonichu and Robbie meet a homeless woman and instead of offering her a place to sleep in their luxury home provided by the city of CWCville, they call her a cab to a soup kitchen. Robbie, eager for adulation, announces that he feels embarrassed by his professed enormous reservoir of empathy for the less fortunate.

Blake and Bubbles are approached by [[Inos]], who wishes them a happy Kwanzaa. Blake suddenly remarks furiously that he isn't [[Chris and race|racist]] before [[Chris and Hypocrisy|expressing furious rage]] at the mere notion of someone thinking he is black, insisting mystifyingly that his fur does not look "skinburn colour." A [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retroactive flashback]] informs us that [[Simonla]] actually survived the Voltorb attack in ''Sonichu'' #10 due to a healing ability that was never referenced before. She is reunited with Wild, her (for all intents and purposes identical) daughter Sandy, and Zapina, who hugs Simonla and calls her "sis."

As they leave the hospital, Sandy's thoughts turn toward the [[Asperpedia Four|"bad men" in Amish Country]] and whether or not they celebrate Christmas. Wild immediately checks his smart phone and explains very tersely that the Amish actually celebrate two Christmases, focusing on "family, togetherness and reglion [sic]". Sandy imagines Mao and Alec trading simple building materials on Christmas, before almost orgasming at the thought of raising a barn. Mao and Alec also appreciate the fact that Sean is placated by rocks, for [[Audiobooks|he indeed rocks]]. All their discourse is conducted in English [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pennsylvania_Dutch for some reason]. [[Evan]] is unmentioned. Sandy concludes her fantasy by proclaiming the Amish "weird". The entire segment is, of course, a ham-fisted attempt to remind everyone that Chris rectonned the violent deaths of these men in ''[[Sonichu 10]]'' into an exile into Amish country.

Wild and Simonla then take Sandy and Zapina (who may or may not have her own family) off to [[Country Cookin']] to celebrate. A totally unwarranted author's note informs the reader that all Sonichus and Rosechus drive hybrids. Meanwhile, up in the mountains for some reason, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Silvana Rosechu]] huddle around a fire, and exchange wooden statements about how they are "fated" to be a couple. Silvana thanks Magi-Chan for all the character development that has occurred off-panel, and asks if he remembers how they first met. Magi-Chan confusingly suggests, [[Chris and Writing|"at the risk of breaking the fourth wall"]], they save the story they both know for another time. Silvana then demands they "shut up, make out and mate up" and Magi-Chan expresses his desire to literally destroy the mountain they are on via violent intercourse.

We then see [[Punchy]] decorating his dojo (since all [[Chris and Race|Asians]] celebrate Christmas, apparently), and [[Angelica]] "sets a table" (the "table" is the altar of her church, which Chris evidently believes Catholics use as a dining table). No sign of [[Reginald Sneasel|Reginald]] or [[Layla Flaafy|Layla]] though; perhaps Reginald's constant attempts at relationship sabotage have finally borne fruit, or more likely Chris has lost interest in the characters and they will never be mentioned again.

At long last, we see Christine performing in the Nativity Play (along with Kevin, the practicing Jew). Suddenly, Christine begins to evolve, and runs off stage in embarrassment. She texts Rosechu (since everybody just has a smartphone in this issue) about her clothes being destroyed and the great urgency with which she needs new ones. This once again muddies the waters regarding Sonichus and Rosechus and clothing; Christine is practically hysterical over not having any clothes to wear even though she's covered in fur and many of the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon never wear clothing at all.

Clothing issues notwithstanding, Rosechu finds the now-adult Christine behind a locked door, and comforts her by sharing in a duet of [[Tomgirl|"I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman"]]. Sonichu suddenly returns with "coat, sandals, socks, [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|panties]]" before regaling everyone with a pointless, extremely detailed account of his trip home and back. Christine triumphantly returns to the stage and completes her part, despite dwarfing the rest of the cast.

After the play, Cera approaches Kevin and apologizes for killing off his video game character, offering him dreidel cookies as a way of making amends. Kevin calmly explains (inexplicably employing a huge amount of military jargon) how Cera's aggressive video game playing has proven "too much for him" and unceremoniously breaks up with her. These characters are supposed to be very young children.

Devastated, Cera breaks down into tears and the famously empathetic Robbie comes over to comfort her. Together, they cry for two whole minutes before deciding they're over it. Note that this is one of few occasions in ''Sonichu'' where an undesirable situation is not resolved in an artifically cheerful way. Christine scoops up her siblings, Rosechu mentioning how she's gone from "middle child to big sister", and they all head off in their electric car.

===Hoax conclusion===
[[Image:Sonichu 11 Teaser.jpg|thumb|[[Alec Benson Leary]]'s rendition.]]
On 24 [[April 2010]], the Sysop of the [[CWCipedia]] uploaded two new episodes from ''Sonichu'' #11. These stories picked up where [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] left off and continued the dark and downbeat tone: [[Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]] were killed in the bombing of the CWCville [[Mal-Wart]]; [[Sandy Rosechu]] was run over by an inattentive driver; [[Wild]] committed suicide in a fit of grief and rage; [[Christine]] and [[Robbie]] were killed and [[Cerah]] badly injured when the three of them drank drain cleaner; [[Rosechu]] smothered her permanently crippled daughter with a pillow; [[Sonichu]] demanded a divorce; and [[Reginald Sneasel]] decided to show the world his "[[Pickle|seven-inch lightning rod]]." An archive of the pages can be seen [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/that-one-issue.197/#post-20215 here].

Despite an overwhelmingly positive fan response to the new pages, Chris clarified in a rage-filled [[CWC Blog]] update that they were the work of a troll<ref>[[CWC_Blog#26_April_2010]]</ref>. During The Great Rampage 2.0 (when the [[CWCipedia]] was hacked for the second and final time), the pages were restored, but the CWCipedia died the next day.

==Comic pages==
Special Episode - A Sonichu Christmas
<center>{{collapsible
|12 pages from 2009
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:SchuComic11P1.jpg
File:SchuComic11P2.jpg
File:SchuComic11P3.jpg|Despite Rosechu apparently loving to shop, this is one of the only times we see her in a different dress.
File:SchuComic11P4.jpg
File:SchuComic11P5.jpg
File:SchuComic11P6.jpg
File:SchuComic11P7.jpg
File:SchuComic11P8.jpg
File:SchuComic11P9.jpg
File:SchuComic11P10.jpg
File:SchuComic11P11.jpg
File:SchuComic11P12.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

<center>{{collapsible
|11 pages from 4 September 2015 (pre-$1,000 donation)
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11p13.jpg
File:Son11p14.jpg
File:Son11p15.jpg
File:Son11p16.jpg
File:Son11p17.jpg
File:Son11p18.jpg
File:Son11p19.jpg
File:Son11p20.jpg
File:Son11p21.jpg
File:Son11p22.jpg
File:Son11p23.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

<center>{{collapsible
|16 pages from 25 October 2015 (post-$1,000 donation)
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11p24.jpg
File:Son11p25.jpg
File:Son11p26.jpg
File:Son11p27.jpg
File:Son11p28.jpg
File:Son11p29.jpg
File:Son11p30.jpg
File:Son11p31.jpg
File:Son11p32.jpg
File:Son11p33.jpg
File:Son11p34.jpg
File:Son11p35.jpg
File:Son11p36.jpg
File:Son11p37.jpg
File:Son11p38.jpg
File:Son11p39.jpg||Hey, Cerah and Robbie have evolved to- Oh wait, it's just Sonichu and Rosechu.
</gallery>}}</center>

On 5 September 2015, a set of uncolored development images of Sonichu #11 pages was leaked<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sonichu-11-development-images.12384</ref>. They appear to prove that the 2015 pages were in fact new, and not something he had been holding back for an extended time.
<center>{{collapsible
|Development Images
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11development1.jpg
File:Son11development2.jpg
File:Son11development3.jpg
File:Son11development4.jpg
File:Son11development5.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

==What Can We Anticipate?==

The ultimate content of future episodes can only be speculated on; doubtless, it will consist of the first thing that comes to Chris's head whenever he can be bothered to scrawl a few pages. [[Sonic]] appears prominently on the cover, making it probable that he will make his first appearance since he helped Sonichu rescue Rosechu way back in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]].

Chris has said that "''The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed.''"<ref>[[Mailbag 51]]</ref> This is almost entirely incomprehensible, as a [[Wikipedia:Reboot (fiction)|reboot]] is a declaration by a Great Director that previously-established canon is null and void, or at least irrelevant. For example, ''[[wikipedia:Batman Begins|Batman Begins]]'' was a fresh start with no canonical relation to the [[wikipedia:Batman|comic book source material]] or the [[wikipedia:Batman (film series)|previous film franchise]]. A [[Wikipedia:Clip show|clip show]], on the other hand, is a TV episode composed mainly of excerpts from previous episodes. Neither of these correspond to answered questions or revealed plots. It's possible that by "Clip Show," Chris meant that ''Sonichu'' #11 would contain more [[Wikipedia:backstory|backstory]], while by "reboot," he meant that the existing "plot" would be [[Chris and writing|clumsily resolved in a couple of pages]] before establishing a new status quo (though considering Chris's pathological [[Sonic Boom Protests|revulsion to change]], this isn't likely). It is likely that a "clip show" issue would allow Chris to release an issue by reusing content from the previous ones.

Chris also said that he would refashion ''Sonichu'' into a less [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarizing]] and more [[Liquid Chris|authentic]] franchise, and has attempted to do so via retcons and revised artwork; all appearances and mentions of [[Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] were replaced by "original" mad scientist Ren Skysoar and [[Sonic]] and [[Amy Rose]] in [[Sonichu 1]] are revealed to be an illusion by [[Silvana Rosechu]]. The clear derivative nature of the series is nonetheless present.

Over the years Chris has dropped a few hints about specific plotlines. At one point he stated, ''"[[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."''<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> He later elaborated, ''"Count Graduon will be the Major Villain beyond ''[''Sonichu'' #10]'', possessing the [[Metal Sonichu]] that crashed on [[the moon]] back in [[Sonichu 1|Book 1]].''<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> The issue may also move to [[RuleCWC]]: Chris has said that ''"[[Darkbind]] and [[Zelina]] will be fighting [[Clawdorf]] with great sword and bow/arrow battles."''<ref>[[Mailbag 52]]</ref>

There may also be a lack of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Great Director intrusion]]: ''"After [[Sonichu 10|Book 10]], I will be making LESS personal appearances in the pages, as having done so was a big mistake, because I had got carried away with the [[Love quest|trials and tribulations]] in my life, [[Man in the Pickle Suit|real]] and [[BlueSpike|online]], that it completely messed me up."''<ref>[[Mailbag 53]]</ref>

The long-awaited continuation of Sonichu 11 in [[September 2015]] has so far involved only the playing-out of the boring Christmas story and the revelation that [[Simonla]] is not dead after all.

===2016 comments===
Chris discussed the comic with [[Arthur Spatchcock]] in early 2016.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And uh, kind of a spoiler, there will be a part in a future story where he-- where pretty much in a dream scenario, he has to swim in a river of essentially pickle brine juice.

'''Arthur:''' Oh no.

'''Chris:''' And he blows up during the swim.

'''Arthur:''' Really? So he's like, he's like deathly allergic to pickles?

'''Chris:''' Quite.

'''Arthur:''' He better hope he gets an [[wikipedia:Epinephrine|endephrine shot]] after that.

'''Chris:''' Well he's quite, uh, he's quite strong, so he's able to survive it, and at the end of the river is uh, is a healing pond at which he recovers from the allergy fairly quick.

'''Arthur:''' Well I guess that will definitely take care of that problem.

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Arthur:''' Now are you going to be introducing any more new characters into the series? Because right now you've already got quite a collection of people already ready to go. But seeing as how previous villains in the series have either been arrested, or, or gone, or dead, or missing, I should say, are you introducing new villains into the series based on the current, you know, issues in your life?

'''Chris:''' I would say that's still yet to be determined. But at least I was-- at least I am definitely glad to give Count Graduon a past human form with which to lead into his spirit, and um, [[Duck|very small]] spoiler, among the uh, people he'll be bringing in uh, the bodies, he finds somebody that looks nearly exactly like he used to, and he brings in-- he becomes one of the Jerkops, so he brings him in and moves his soul from the Metal Sonichu into that body.

'''Arthur:''' Now I gotta tell you right now, I definitely want to see more Metal Sonichu.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you'll definitely see Graduon's soul in Metal Sonichu's body, and uh, Skysoar will be employed under Graduon, and he'll make a few more of them.

'''Arthur:''' See, what you need in the series, I think to really push the bad guys now, instead of just having Jerkops, you need like, robotic Jerkops, like 2.0.

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, pretty much, uh...

'''Arthur:''' After all, when you have a hero like Sonichu... Sonichu is already pretty powerful, and all of his friends are pretty strong too. You need to start adding that concept of conflict by making the enemies tougher too.

'''Chris:''' ...Yes, that will be taken under consideration. I already have a few-- I already have a few ideas on my mind, among which. But that is definitely one I could definitely add into, uh, the uh, into the Jerkop and Janekops, there.

'''Arthur:''' Because--

'''Chris:''' Make 'em-- make 'em a bit cyborg.

'''Arthur:''' Yes, you know, it's like, uh, it's like Power Rangers, the original Power Rangers, with Zordon? When they had the Putties, and then they had the Lord Zedd Putties?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. ...Quite. But anyway, yes, I will take all that under great consideration.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu #11 Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0hhhM_lfR-8}}
| stardate = 11 [[August 2011]]
| maker = archhalljr10
| subject = ''Sonichu'' #11
| type = Fan trailer
}}

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_11/Page_1 ''Sonichu'' #11]
* [https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.915813811846432.1073741853.100002534669114&type=3/ 2015 Pages of Sonichu 11]
* [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/that-one-issue.197/#post-20215 Mirror of Sysop's FALSE and DISHONEST version of pages 13-38]

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Sonichu 11

2017-02-06T11:06:35Z

RedVine01: /* Comic pages */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Unfinished}}
{{Begging Counter}}

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #11
| cover = Issue 11 Cover.jpg
| coverdate = 13 [[August 2009]]
| finishedcomic = ''incomplete''
| pagecount = 39 (so far)
| Episodes = 22
| previous = [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]
| next = [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]
}}

{{Quote|I have not ended [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]; I only lost inspiration to [[Chris and art|draw]], thanks to [[Trolls|the people online]].|Chris, September 2010.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I am getting back into the swing of drawing, writing and coloring my pages. The stories resume! And I am not letting too many cooks into this kitchen like I did inadvertently with the haters.|Chris, September 2015.<ref>[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Sonichu 11 Continues]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I have been unable to get that routine successfully habitual and set. The reasons are between my Emotions and Mood; I have to be in the right mind set in order to draw and create.|Chris, February 2016, shortly before citing a bunch of tired excuses as to why he won’t work on the comic that he was paid over $1,000 to do.<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism]]</ref>}}

'''''Sonichu'' #11''' is the twelfth comic in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]], dated 13 [[August 2009]]. The cover claims to be the tenth anniversary issue. (Ten years without a "cease and desist" letter from [[Nintendo]] or [[Sega]]!) Chris abandoned the issue in [[December 2009]], months before the tenth anniversary of [[Sonichu]]'s creation came and went on 17 [[March 2010]]. For years it seemed that Chris was done with Sonichu forever. On 4 [[September 2015]], however, in an unprecedented act of will and determination, Chris managed to crawl back from his long dark night of [[Kick the Autistic|abuse]] at the hands of the trolls and cyber-bullies, and finally released new pages. The revival of the Sonichu comic proved too stressful for Chris, in spite of the fact that he had been paid over $1,000 to do it<ref>[[Etsy#Donate towards New Comic Book Pages]]</ref>, and he dropped the project once again after 25 October.

==Production Notes==
[[Chris]] began writing this issue while [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] was also in production, apparently to have somewhere to put the comic version of "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]," which is even more unendurably boring than its prose counterpart. Christmas [[2009]] came and went, and Chris apparently forgot about this unfinished story with eight pages to go. In the meantime, he was still engrossed in tracing shit for his epic battle with [[Reldnahc]] and the anti-[[gay]] vaccine from the future. So far, Chris has kept the promise of not including the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic Chris]] as a character, restructuring the series to its original intention as an uninspired ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' [[Chris and copyright|homage]].

The glorious, yet brief, resurrection of this comic on 4 September 2015, when Chris uploaded 11 new pages, was accompanied by a [[Etsy#Donate towards New Comic Book Pages|donation bucket]] on his new [[Etsy]] account. One day later, a Youtube reviewer named [[Weening|DStecks]] gave Chris $1,000, thinking that Chris would deliver 100 pages of Sonichu. The donation listing was one of his best-selling items, until Etsy forced him to remove it, apparently because it violated TOS<ref>[[May 2016 Facebook posts#Etsy listing removal]]</ref>. [[List of Chris's lies|Money would go towards production of ''Sonichu'' #11]], with a single character drawing offered to each person who donated, almost like a poor man's [[Wikipedia:Patreon|Patreon]]. Chris completed a further 16 pages before dropping the project. In [[February 2016]], he claimed that he was too stressed to continue Sonichu 11<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism]]</ref>.

Only 27 pages were added in 2015, but in them, the ubiquitous elements of ''Sonichu'' - boring and confusing plotlines, inappropriate portrayals of underage characters, walls of expository text and tone-deaf racism - are present and accounted for.

==A Sonichu Christmas==
{{Resources
| title = A Sonichu Christmas
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.915813811846432.1073741853.100002534669114&type=3 ''A Sonichu Christmas''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_11/Page_1 ''A Sonichu Christmas''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9245JMAhhw ''A Sonichu Christmas''}}
[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|Take that, separation of church and state! Also: child molestation.]]
[[Image:Thisemotionyoucallwuvconfusesandinfuriatesus.jpg|thumb|She's addressing Chris.]]
In [[December 2009]], in response to requests for a ''Sonichu'' Christmas special, Chris began to create a comic adaptation of "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]," at the same time as he was working on the original prose version of the story. This marks the second time that Chris's [[Chris and writing|prose]] was adapted into comic form - the short story "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]" served as the basis for Episodes 1 and 2 in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]. The story contains nothing of substantial value to the overarching saga of ''Sonichu'', instead just depicting the Lovehogs and their hellish offspring partaking in various boring and tedious Christmas activities, with no conflict or general narrative friction whatsoever.

The comic opens to show Sonichu's family in various states of celebration for the Christmas season, with the house decorated for the holiday. For a wintertime scene, the lawn of 14 Brunchland Lane is impossibly green, while a bike is left out along the side of the house awaiting permanent rusting from the events to follow. This is because Chris [[Scrapbook of Fail|reused]] the [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/2/27/SchuComic9P34.jpg original 14 Brunchland Lane picture] seen in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] with half-assed editing of the clouds and sky to a dark blue color to reflect the nighttime, the removal of [[Reldnahc]] running down the road, and the addition of poorly-rendered Christmas lights and a wreath onto the house. Chris believes toddlers can do a lot, as Cerah, Christine and Robbie hang stockings, rehearse for the overtly Christian school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them appears to be in elementary school, so Chris likely forgot how old they were supposed to be.

While rehearsing for a Christmas pageant at her school, Christine plagiarizes a joke from ''[[Family Guy]]'' when she ad libs that the Virgin Mary may not really have been a [[virgin]], which has the unfortunate effect of making it seem like Christine has been raped or molested. Sonichu and [[Robbie]] are seen to be hanging stockings, and Robbie butchers a quote from a [[wikipedia:A Visit from St. Nicholas|holiday classic]]. After a long, boring conversation about what toys Robbie wants, the conversation finally ends with Sonichu giving a diabetes-inducing speech about loving his little angelic kids.

Meanwhile Rosechu and [[Cerah]] make cookies. Cerah makes a big deal about making a special cookie for a [[Jewish]] kid named [[Kevin the Jew|Kevin]] in an uncomfortably awkward attempt at sensitivity. The cookie, made in the vague shape of a candle, bears no resemblance to any Jewish symbol. The cookie is vanilla-flavored, in case the kid has some kind of food allergy. Rosechu and Cerah do not consider that anyone other than Jews might have food allergies. Cerah says "I wuv you!" while facing away from her mother and directly at the reader, apparently breaking the fourth wall.

In the living room, Robbie and Cerah notice that it has begun to snow. As they watch, Sonichu and Rosechu discuss the weather forecast and decide to hoard groceries while the roads are still clear. While Sonichu goes to the supermarket, Christine recites [[Wikipedia:Magnificat|Luke 1:45-55]] (which Chris types as Luke 1:46.5 - 55) while Rosechu watches and the children stare on with their soulless green eyes. Incidentally, this Bible verse mentions how [[GodJesus]] will reward the humble and [[Chris and his ego|punish the proud and the mighty]]. While this passage is commonly heard in Protestant churches, there's no way that any American public school in the 21st century could get away with anything this overtly religious without fear of legal reprisal.

Later, Sonichu returns home with groceries, and is welcomed home woodenly by Rosechu. His trip to the grocery store is not depicted or described in any way, rendering it a pointless plot feature.

The next morning, Sonichu and Rosechu sit in the kitchen drinking coffee. A [[KCWC]] announcer details [[CWCville]] school closings, and Sonichu expresses his anticipated enjoyment of a day spent with his family, hot "[[tobacky|coca]]" and a warm shower. Rosechu nags him to clear the snow burying their palatial residence, so Sonichu "bundles up for work." The kids wake and greet their father in unsettling unison, to which Sonichu replies with a hearty "good [[Geinus|mornint]]." Noticing that all doors and windows are barred by mounds of snow, Sonichu decides to show off in front of the kids by jumping up their chimney like Santa Claus. Outside, he uses his super speed to scatter the snow off of his yard, heedless of the likelihood that the light and fluffy snow he's moving will be blown towards a busy road and possibly cause a [[Son-Chu|tragic accident]]. Exhausted, he heads back into the house for [[Chris and health#Hygiene|a shower]]. Waiting patiently by the bathroom (because Chris thinks women spend all their time waiting to be directed by men), Rosechu holds a hideous novelty Christmas towel and blesses Sonichu for doing thirty seconds of chores.

To bore us further, we are informed that Robbie [[Christian Weston Chandler|plays video games and watches TV]] and reminded that Rosechu is motivated only by her [[Women's rights|desire to cook and clean]]. Cerah, meanwhile, plays ''Call of Duty: World at War'', an eight-year-old video game, with Kevin the Jew. Kevin's character dies and his score is erased (even though ''Call of Duty'' doesn't work that way as a game), and when he complains, Cera chides him that he "[[Sonic Boom Protests|can't be so attached to a set of pixels]]." The two fight over the game, and soon after [[Magi-Chan]] begins chatting to Cerah telepathically about the incident (presumably having been [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nineteen_Eighty-Four monitoring her thoughts]), exploring her feelings for Kevin despite the fact that she's [[Pedofork|supposed to be a toddler]]. Meanwhile, Sonichu and Robbie meet a homeless woman and instead of offering her a place to sleep in their luxury home provided by the city of CWCville, they call her a cab to a soup kitchen. Robbie, eager for adulation, announces that he feels embarrassed by his professed enormous reservoir of empathy for the less fortunate.

Blake and Bubbles are approached by [[Inos]], who wishes them a happy Kwanzaa. Blake suddenly remarks furiously that he isn't [[Chris and race|racist]] before [[Chris and Hypocrisy|expressing furious rage]] at the mere notion of someone thinking he is black, insisting mystifyingly that his fur does not look "skinburn colour." A [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retroactive flashback]] informs us that [[Simonla]] actually survived the Voltorb attack in ''Sonichu'' #10 due to a healing ability that was never referenced before. She is reunited with Wild, her (for all intents and purposes identical) daughter Sandy, and Zapina, who hugs Simonla and calls her "sis."

As they leave the hospital, Sandy's thoughts turn toward the [[Asperpedia Four|"bad men" in Amish Country]] and whether or not they celebrate Christmas. Wild immediately checks his smart phone and explains very tersely that the Amish actually celebrate two Christmases, focusing on "family, togetherness and reglion [sic]". Sandy imagines Mao and Alec trading simple building materials on Christmas, before almost orgasming at the thought of raising a barn. Mao and Alec also appreciate the fact that Sean is placated by rocks, for [[Audiobooks|he indeed rocks]]. All their discourse is conducted in English [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pennsylvania_Dutch for some reason]. [[Evan]] is unmentioned. Sandy concludes her fantasy by proclaiming the Amish "weird". The entire segment is, of course, a ham-fisted attempt to remind everyone that Chris rectonned the violent deaths of these men in ''[[Sonichu 10]]'' into an exile into Amish country.

Wild and Simonla then take Sandy and Zapina (who may or may not have her own family) off to [[Country Cookin']] to celebrate. A totally unwarranted author's note informs the reader that all Sonichus and Rosechus drive hybrids. Meanwhile, up in the mountains for some reason, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Silvana Rosechu]] huddle around a fire, and exchange wooden statements about how they are "fated" to be a couple. Silvana thanks Magi-Chan for all the character development that has occurred off-panel, and asks if he remembers how they first met. Magi-Chan confusingly suggests, [[Chris and Writing|"at the risk of breaking the fourth wall"]], they save the story they both know for another time. Silvana then demands they "shut up, make out and mate up" and Magi-Chan expresses his desire to literally destroy the mountain they are on via violent intercourse.

We then see [[Punchy]] decorating his dojo (since all [[Chris and Race|Asians]] celebrate Christmas, apparently), and [[Angelica]] "sets a table" (the "table" is the altar of her church, which Chris evidently believes Catholics use as a dining table). No sign of [[Reginald Sneasel|Reginald]] or [[Layla Flaafy|Layla]] though; perhaps Reginald's constant attempts at relationship sabotage have finally borne fruit, or more likely Chris has lost interest in the characters and they will never be mentioned again.

At long last, we see Christine performing in the Nativity Play (along with Kevin, the practicing Jew). Suddenly, Christine begins to evolve, and runs off stage in embarrassment. She texts Rosechu (since everybody just has a smartphone in this issue) about her clothes being destroyed and the great urgency with which she needs new ones. This once again muddies the waters regarding Sonichus and Rosechus and clothing; Christine is practically hysterical over not having any clothes to wear even though she's covered in fur and many of the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon never wear clothing at all.

Clothing issues notwithstanding, Rosechu finds the now-adult Christine behind a locked door, and comforts her by sharing in a duet of [[Tomgirl|"I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman"]]. Sonichu suddenly returns with "coat, sandals, socks, [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|panties]]" before regaling everyone with a pointless, extremely detailed account of his trip home and back. Christine triumphantly returns to the stage and completes her part, despite dwarfing the rest of the cast.

After the play, Cera approaches Kevin and apologizes for killing off his video game character, offering him dreidel cookies as a way of making amends. Kevin calmly explains (inexplicably employing a huge amount of military jargon) how Cera's aggressive video game playing has proven "too much for him" and unceremoniously breaks up with her. These characters are supposed to be very young children.

Devastated, Cera breaks down into tears and the famously empathetic Robbie comes over to comfort her. Together, they cry for two whole minutes before deciding they're over it. Note that this is one of few occasions in ''Sonichu'' where an undesirable situation is not resolved in an artifically cheerful way. Christine scoops up her siblings, Rosechu mentioning how she's gone from "middle child to big sister", and they all head off in their electric car.

===Hoax conclusion===
[[Image:Sonichu 11 Teaser.jpg|thumb|[[Alec Benson Leary]]'s rendition.]]
On 24 [[April 2010]], the Sysop of the [[CWCipedia]] uploaded two new episodes from ''Sonichu'' #11. These stories picked up where [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] left off and continued the dark and downbeat tone: [[Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]] were killed in the bombing of the CWCville [[Mal-Wart]]; [[Sandy Rosechu]] was run over by an inattentive driver; [[Wild]] committed suicide in a fit of grief and rage; [[Christine]] and [[Robbie]] were killed and [[Cerah]] badly injured when the three of them drank drain cleaner; [[Rosechu]] smothered her permanently crippled daughter with a pillow; [[Sonichu]] demanded a divorce; and [[Reginald Sneasel]] decided to show the world his "[[Pickle|seven-inch lightning rod]]." An archive of the pages can be seen [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/that-one-issue.197/#post-20215 here].

Despite an overwhelmingly positive fan response to the new pages, Chris clarified in a rage-filled [[CWC Blog]] update that they were the work of a troll<ref>[[CWC_Blog#26_April_2010]]</ref>. During The Great Rampage 2.0 (when the [[CWCipedia]] was hacked for the second and final time), the pages were restored, but the CWCipedia died the next day.

==Comic pages==
Special Episode - A Sonichu Christmas
<center>{{collapsible
|12 pages from 2009
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:SchuComic11P1.jpg
File:SchuComic11P2.jpg
File:SchuComic11P3.jpg|Despite Rosechu apparently loving to shop, this is one of the only times we see her in a different dress.
File:SchuComic11P4.jpg
File:SchuComic11P5.jpg
File:SchuComic11P6.jpg
File:SchuComic11P7.jpg
File:SchuComic11P8.jpg
File:SchuComic11P9.jpg
File:SchuComic11P10.jpg
File:SchuComic11P11.jpg
File:SchuComic11P12.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

<center>{{collapsible
|11 pages from 4 September 2015 (pre-$1,000 donation)
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11p13.jpg
File:Son11p14.jpg
File:Son11p15.jpg
File:Son11p16.jpg
File:Son11p17.jpg
File:Son11p18.jpg
File:Son11p19.jpg
File:Son11p20.jpg
File:Son11p21.jpg
File:Son11p22.jpg
File:Son11p23.jpg|Hey, Cerah and Robbie have evolved to- Oh wait, it's just Sonichu and Rosechu.
</gallery>}}</center>

<center>{{collapsible
|16 pages from 25 October 2015 (post-$1,000 donation)
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11p24.jpg
File:Son11p25.jpg
File:Son11p26.jpg
File:Son11p27.jpg
File:Son11p28.jpg
File:Son11p29.jpg
File:Son11p30.jpg
File:Son11p31.jpg
File:Son11p32.jpg
File:Son11p33.jpg
File:Son11p34.jpg
File:Son11p35.jpg
File:Son11p36.jpg
File:Son11p37.jpg
File:Son11p38.jpg
File:Son11p39.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

On 5 September 2015, a set of uncolored development images of Sonichu #11 pages was leaked<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sonichu-11-development-images.12384</ref>. They appear to prove that the 2015 pages were in fact new, and not something he had been holding back for an extended time.
<center>{{collapsible
|Development Images
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11development1.jpg
File:Son11development2.jpg
File:Son11development3.jpg
File:Son11development4.jpg
File:Son11development5.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

==What Can We Anticipate?==

The ultimate content of future episodes can only be speculated on; doubtless, it will consist of the first thing that comes to Chris's head whenever he can be bothered to scrawl a few pages. [[Sonic]] appears prominently on the cover, making it probable that he will make his first appearance since he helped Sonichu rescue Rosechu way back in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]].

Chris has said that "''The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed.''"<ref>[[Mailbag 51]]</ref> This is almost entirely incomprehensible, as a [[Wikipedia:Reboot (fiction)|reboot]] is a declaration by a Great Director that previously-established canon is null and void, or at least irrelevant. For example, ''[[wikipedia:Batman Begins|Batman Begins]]'' was a fresh start with no canonical relation to the [[wikipedia:Batman|comic book source material]] or the [[wikipedia:Batman (film series)|previous film franchise]]. A [[Wikipedia:Clip show|clip show]], on the other hand, is a TV episode composed mainly of excerpts from previous episodes. Neither of these correspond to answered questions or revealed plots. It's possible that by "Clip Show," Chris meant that ''Sonichu'' #11 would contain more [[Wikipedia:backstory|backstory]], while by "reboot," he meant that the existing "plot" would be [[Chris and writing|clumsily resolved in a couple of pages]] before establishing a new status quo (though considering Chris's pathological [[Sonic Boom Protests|revulsion to change]], this isn't likely). It is likely that a "clip show" issue would allow Chris to release an issue by reusing content from the previous ones.

Chris also said that he would refashion ''Sonichu'' into a less [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarizing]] and more [[Liquid Chris|authentic]] franchise, and has attempted to do so via retcons and revised artwork; all appearances and mentions of [[Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] were replaced by "original" mad scientist Ren Skysoar and [[Sonic]] and [[Amy Rose]] in [[Sonichu 1]] are revealed to be an illusion by [[Silvana Rosechu]]. The clear derivative nature of the series is nonetheless present.

Over the years Chris has dropped a few hints about specific plotlines. At one point he stated, ''"[[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."''<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> He later elaborated, ''"Count Graduon will be the Major Villain beyond ''[''Sonichu'' #10]'', possessing the [[Metal Sonichu]] that crashed on [[the moon]] back in [[Sonichu 1|Book 1]].''<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> The issue may also move to [[RuleCWC]]: Chris has said that ''"[[Darkbind]] and [[Zelina]] will be fighting [[Clawdorf]] with great sword and bow/arrow battles."''<ref>[[Mailbag 52]]</ref>

There may also be a lack of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Great Director intrusion]]: ''"After [[Sonichu 10|Book 10]], I will be making LESS personal appearances in the pages, as having done so was a big mistake, because I had got carried away with the [[Love quest|trials and tribulations]] in my life, [[Man in the Pickle Suit|real]] and [[BlueSpike|online]], that it completely messed me up."''<ref>[[Mailbag 53]]</ref>

The long-awaited continuation of Sonichu 11 in [[September 2015]] has so far involved only the playing-out of the boring Christmas story and the revelation that [[Simonla]] is not dead after all.

===2016 comments===
Chris discussed the comic with [[Arthur Spatchcock]] in early 2016.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And uh, kind of a spoiler, there will be a part in a future story where he-- where pretty much in a dream scenario, he has to swim in a river of essentially pickle brine juice.

'''Arthur:''' Oh no.

'''Chris:''' And he blows up during the swim.

'''Arthur:''' Really? So he's like, he's like deathly allergic to pickles?

'''Chris:''' Quite.

'''Arthur:''' He better hope he gets an [[wikipedia:Epinephrine|endephrine shot]] after that.

'''Chris:''' Well he's quite, uh, he's quite strong, so he's able to survive it, and at the end of the river is uh, is a healing pond at which he recovers from the allergy fairly quick.

'''Arthur:''' Well I guess that will definitely take care of that problem.

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Arthur:''' Now are you going to be introducing any more new characters into the series? Because right now you've already got quite a collection of people already ready to go. But seeing as how previous villains in the series have either been arrested, or, or gone, or dead, or missing, I should say, are you introducing new villains into the series based on the current, you know, issues in your life?

'''Chris:''' I would say that's still yet to be determined. But at least I was-- at least I am definitely glad to give Count Graduon a past human form with which to lead into his spirit, and um, [[Duck|very small]] spoiler, among the uh, people he'll be bringing in uh, the bodies, he finds somebody that looks nearly exactly like he used to, and he brings in-- he becomes one of the Jerkops, so he brings him in and moves his soul from the Metal Sonichu into that body.

'''Arthur:''' Now I gotta tell you right now, I definitely want to see more Metal Sonichu.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you'll definitely see Graduon's soul in Metal Sonichu's body, and uh, Skysoar will be employed under Graduon, and he'll make a few more of them.

'''Arthur:''' See, what you need in the series, I think to really push the bad guys now, instead of just having Jerkops, you need like, robotic Jerkops, like 2.0.

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, pretty much, uh...

'''Arthur:''' After all, when you have a hero like Sonichu... Sonichu is already pretty powerful, and all of his friends are pretty strong too. You need to start adding that concept of conflict by making the enemies tougher too.

'''Chris:''' ...Yes, that will be taken under consideration. I already have a few-- I already have a few ideas on my mind, among which. But that is definitely one I could definitely add into, uh, the uh, into the Jerkop and Janekops, there.

'''Arthur:''' Because--

'''Chris:''' Make 'em-- make 'em a bit cyborg.

'''Arthur:''' Yes, you know, it's like, uh, it's like Power Rangers, the original Power Rangers, with Zordon? When they had the Putties, and then they had the Lord Zedd Putties?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. ...Quite. But anyway, yes, I will take all that under great consideration.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu #11 Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0hhhM_lfR-8}}
| stardate = 11 [[August 2011]]
| maker = archhalljr10
| subject = ''Sonichu'' #11
| type = Fan trailer
}}

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_11/Page_1 ''Sonichu'' #11]
* [https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.915813811846432.1073741853.100002534669114&type=3/ 2015 Pages of Sonichu 11]
* [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/that-one-issue.197/#post-20215 Mirror of Sysop's FALSE and DISHONEST version of pages 13-38]

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Sonichu 11

2017-02-06T11:00:43Z

RedVine01: /* Comic pages */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Unfinished}}
{{Begging Counter}}

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #11
| cover = Issue 11 Cover.jpg
| coverdate = 13 [[August 2009]]
| finishedcomic = ''incomplete''
| pagecount = 39 (so far)
| Episodes = 22
| previous = [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]
| next = [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]
}}

{{Quote|I have not ended [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]; I only lost inspiration to [[Chris and art|draw]], thanks to [[Trolls|the people online]].|Chris, September 2010.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I am getting back into the swing of drawing, writing and coloring my pages. The stories resume! And I am not letting too many cooks into this kitchen like I did inadvertently with the haters.|Chris, September 2015.<ref>[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Sonichu 11 Continues]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I have been unable to get that routine successfully habitual and set. The reasons are between my Emotions and Mood; I have to be in the right mind set in order to draw and create.|Chris, February 2016, shortly before citing a bunch of tired excuses as to why he won’t work on the comic that he was paid over $1,000 to do.<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism]]</ref>}}

'''''Sonichu'' #11''' is the twelfth comic in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]], dated 13 [[August 2009]]. The cover claims to be the tenth anniversary issue. (Ten years without a "cease and desist" letter from [[Nintendo]] or [[Sega]]!) Chris abandoned the issue in [[December 2009]], months before the tenth anniversary of [[Sonichu]]'s creation came and went on 17 [[March 2010]]. For years it seemed that Chris was done with Sonichu forever. On 4 [[September 2015]], however, in an unprecedented act of will and determination, Chris managed to crawl back from his long dark night of [[Kick the Autistic|abuse]] at the hands of the trolls and cyber-bullies, and finally released new pages. The revival of the Sonichu comic proved too stressful for Chris, in spite of the fact that he had been paid over $1,000 to do it<ref>[[Etsy#Donate towards New Comic Book Pages]]</ref>, and he dropped the project once again after 25 October.

==Production Notes==
[[Chris]] began writing this issue while [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] was also in production, apparently to have somewhere to put the comic version of "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]," which is even more unendurably boring than its prose counterpart. Christmas [[2009]] came and went, and Chris apparently forgot about this unfinished story with eight pages to go. In the meantime, he was still engrossed in tracing shit for his epic battle with [[Reldnahc]] and the anti-[[gay]] vaccine from the future. So far, Chris has kept the promise of not including the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic Chris]] as a character, restructuring the series to its original intention as an uninspired ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' [[Chris and copyright|homage]].

The glorious, yet brief, resurrection of this comic on 4 September 2015, when Chris uploaded 11 new pages, was accompanied by a [[Etsy#Donate towards New Comic Book Pages|donation bucket]] on his new [[Etsy]] account. One day later, a Youtube reviewer named [[Weening|DStecks]] gave Chris $1,000, thinking that Chris would deliver 100 pages of Sonichu. The donation listing was one of his best-selling items, until Etsy forced him to remove it, apparently because it violated TOS<ref>[[May 2016 Facebook posts#Etsy listing removal]]</ref>. [[List of Chris's lies|Money would go towards production of ''Sonichu'' #11]], with a single character drawing offered to each person who donated, almost like a poor man's [[Wikipedia:Patreon|Patreon]]. Chris completed a further 16 pages before dropping the project. In [[February 2016]], he claimed that he was too stressed to continue Sonichu 11<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism]]</ref>.

Only 27 pages were added in 2015, but in them, the ubiquitous elements of ''Sonichu'' - boring and confusing plotlines, inappropriate portrayals of underage characters, walls of expository text and tone-deaf racism - are present and accounted for.

==A Sonichu Christmas==
{{Resources
| title = A Sonichu Christmas
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.915813811846432.1073741853.100002534669114&type=3 ''A Sonichu Christmas''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_11/Page_1 ''A Sonichu Christmas''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9245JMAhhw ''A Sonichu Christmas''}}
[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|Take that, separation of church and state! Also: child molestation.]]
[[Image:Thisemotionyoucallwuvconfusesandinfuriatesus.jpg|thumb|She's addressing Chris.]]
In [[December 2009]], in response to requests for a ''Sonichu'' Christmas special, Chris began to create a comic adaptation of "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]," at the same time as he was working on the original prose version of the story. This marks the second time that Chris's [[Chris and writing|prose]] was adapted into comic form - the short story "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]" served as the basis for Episodes 1 and 2 in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]. The story contains nothing of substantial value to the overarching saga of ''Sonichu'', instead just depicting the Lovehogs and their hellish offspring partaking in various boring and tedious Christmas activities, with no conflict or general narrative friction whatsoever.

The comic opens to show Sonichu's family in various states of celebration for the Christmas season, with the house decorated for the holiday. For a wintertime scene, the lawn of 14 Brunchland Lane is impossibly green, while a bike is left out along the side of the house awaiting permanent rusting from the events to follow. This is because Chris [[Scrapbook of Fail|reused]] the [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/2/27/SchuComic9P34.jpg original 14 Brunchland Lane picture] seen in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] with half-assed editing of the clouds and sky to a dark blue color to reflect the nighttime, the removal of [[Reldnahc]] running down the road, and the addition of poorly-rendered Christmas lights and a wreath onto the house. Chris believes toddlers can do a lot, as Cerah, Christine and Robbie hang stockings, rehearse for the overtly Christian school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them appears to be in elementary school, so Chris likely forgot how old they were supposed to be.

While rehearsing for a Christmas pageant at her school, Christine plagiarizes a joke from ''[[Family Guy]]'' when she ad libs that the Virgin Mary may not really have been a [[virgin]], which has the unfortunate effect of making it seem like Christine has been raped or molested. Sonichu and [[Robbie]] are seen to be hanging stockings, and Robbie butchers a quote from a [[wikipedia:A Visit from St. Nicholas|holiday classic]]. After a long, boring conversation about what toys Robbie wants, the conversation finally ends with Sonichu giving a diabetes-inducing speech about loving his little angelic kids.

Meanwhile Rosechu and [[Cerah]] make cookies. Cerah makes a big deal about making a special cookie for a [[Jewish]] kid named [[Kevin the Jew|Kevin]] in an uncomfortably awkward attempt at sensitivity. The cookie, made in the vague shape of a candle, bears no resemblance to any Jewish symbol. The cookie is vanilla-flavored, in case the kid has some kind of food allergy. Rosechu and Cerah do not consider that anyone other than Jews might have food allergies. Cerah says "I wuv you!" while facing away from her mother and directly at the reader, apparently breaking the fourth wall.

In the living room, Robbie and Cerah notice that it has begun to snow. As they watch, Sonichu and Rosechu discuss the weather forecast and decide to hoard groceries while the roads are still clear. While Sonichu goes to the supermarket, Christine recites [[Wikipedia:Magnificat|Luke 1:45-55]] (which Chris types as Luke 1:46.5 - 55) while Rosechu watches and the children stare on with their soulless green eyes. Incidentally, this Bible verse mentions how [[GodJesus]] will reward the humble and [[Chris and his ego|punish the proud and the mighty]]. While this passage is commonly heard in Protestant churches, there's no way that any American public school in the 21st century could get away with anything this overtly religious without fear of legal reprisal.

Later, Sonichu returns home with groceries, and is welcomed home woodenly by Rosechu. His trip to the grocery store is not depicted or described in any way, rendering it a pointless plot feature.

The next morning, Sonichu and Rosechu sit in the kitchen drinking coffee. A [[KCWC]] announcer details [[CWCville]] school closings, and Sonichu expresses his anticipated enjoyment of a day spent with his family, hot "[[tobacky|coca]]" and a warm shower. Rosechu nags him to clear the snow burying their palatial residence, so Sonichu "bundles up for work." The kids wake and greet their father in unsettling unison, to which Sonichu replies with a hearty "good [[Geinus|mornint]]." Noticing that all doors and windows are barred by mounds of snow, Sonichu decides to show off in front of the kids by jumping up their chimney like Santa Claus. Outside, he uses his super speed to scatter the snow off of his yard, heedless of the likelihood that the light and fluffy snow he's moving will be blown towards a busy road and possibly cause a [[Son-Chu|tragic accident]]. Exhausted, he heads back into the house for [[Chris and health#Hygiene|a shower]]. Waiting patiently by the bathroom (because Chris thinks women spend all their time waiting to be directed by men), Rosechu holds a hideous novelty Christmas towel and blesses Sonichu for doing thirty seconds of chores.

To bore us further, we are informed that Robbie [[Christian Weston Chandler|plays video games and watches TV]] and reminded that Rosechu is motivated only by her [[Women's rights|desire to cook and clean]]. Cerah, meanwhile, plays ''Call of Duty: World at War'', an eight-year-old video game, with Kevin the Jew. Kevin's character dies and his score is erased (even though ''Call of Duty'' doesn't work that way as a game), and when he complains, Cera chides him that he "[[Sonic Boom Protests|can't be so attached to a set of pixels]]." The two fight over the game, and soon after [[Magi-Chan]] begins chatting to Cerah telepathically about the incident (presumably having been [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nineteen_Eighty-Four monitoring her thoughts]), exploring her feelings for Kevin despite the fact that she's [[Pedofork|supposed to be a toddler]]. Meanwhile, Sonichu and Robbie meet a homeless woman and instead of offering her a place to sleep in their luxury home provided by the city of CWCville, they call her a cab to a soup kitchen. Robbie, eager for adulation, announces that he feels embarrassed by his professed enormous reservoir of empathy for the less fortunate.

Blake and Bubbles are approached by [[Inos]], who wishes them a happy Kwanzaa. Blake suddenly remarks furiously that he isn't [[Chris and race|racist]] before [[Chris and Hypocrisy|expressing furious rage]] at the mere notion of someone thinking he is black, insisting mystifyingly that his fur does not look "skinburn colour." A [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retroactive flashback]] informs us that [[Simonla]] actually survived the Voltorb attack in ''Sonichu'' #10 due to a healing ability that was never referenced before. She is reunited with Wild, her (for all intents and purposes identical) daughter Sandy, and Zapina, who hugs Simonla and calls her "sis."

As they leave the hospital, Sandy's thoughts turn toward the [[Asperpedia Four|"bad men" in Amish Country]] and whether or not they celebrate Christmas. Wild immediately checks his smart phone and explains very tersely that the Amish actually celebrate two Christmases, focusing on "family, togetherness and reglion [sic]". Sandy imagines Mao and Alec trading simple building materials on Christmas, before almost orgasming at the thought of raising a barn. Mao and Alec also appreciate the fact that Sean is placated by rocks, for [[Audiobooks|he indeed rocks]]. All their discourse is conducted in English [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pennsylvania_Dutch for some reason]. [[Evan]] is unmentioned. Sandy concludes her fantasy by proclaiming the Amish "weird". The entire segment is, of course, a ham-fisted attempt to remind everyone that Chris rectonned the violent deaths of these men in ''[[Sonichu 10]]'' into an exile into Amish country.

Wild and Simonla then take Sandy and Zapina (who may or may not have her own family) off to [[Country Cookin']] to celebrate. A totally unwarranted author's note informs the reader that all Sonichus and Rosechus drive hybrids. Meanwhile, up in the mountains for some reason, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Silvana Rosechu]] huddle around a fire, and exchange wooden statements about how they are "fated" to be a couple. Silvana thanks Magi-Chan for all the character development that has occurred off-panel, and asks if he remembers how they first met. Magi-Chan confusingly suggests, [[Chris and Writing|"at the risk of breaking the fourth wall"]], they save the story they both know for another time. Silvana then demands they "shut up, make out and mate up" and Magi-Chan expresses his desire to literally destroy the mountain they are on via violent intercourse.

We then see [[Punchy]] decorating his dojo (since all [[Chris and Race|Asians]] celebrate Christmas, apparently), and [[Angelica]] "sets a table" (the "table" is the altar of her church, which Chris evidently believes Catholics use as a dining table). No sign of [[Reginald Sneasel|Reginald]] or [[Layla Flaafy|Layla]] though; perhaps Reginald's constant attempts at relationship sabotage have finally borne fruit, or more likely Chris has lost interest in the characters and they will never be mentioned again.

At long last, we see Christine performing in the Nativity Play (along with Kevin, the practicing Jew). Suddenly, Christine begins to evolve, and runs off stage in embarrassment. She texts Rosechu (since everybody just has a smartphone in this issue) about her clothes being destroyed and the great urgency with which she needs new ones. This once again muddies the waters regarding Sonichus and Rosechus and clothing; Christine is practically hysterical over not having any clothes to wear even though she's covered in fur and many of the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon never wear clothing at all.

Clothing issues notwithstanding, Rosechu finds the now-adult Christine behind a locked door, and comforts her by sharing in a duet of [[Tomgirl|"I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman"]]. Sonichu suddenly returns with "coat, sandals, socks, [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|panties]]" before regaling everyone with a pointless, extremely detailed account of his trip home and back. Christine triumphantly returns to the stage and completes her part, despite dwarfing the rest of the cast.

After the play, Cera approaches Kevin and apologizes for killing off his video game character, offering him dreidel cookies as a way of making amends. Kevin calmly explains (inexplicably employing a huge amount of military jargon) how Cera's aggressive video game playing has proven "too much for him" and unceremoniously breaks up with her. These characters are supposed to be very young children.

Devastated, Cera breaks down into tears and the famously empathetic Robbie comes over to comfort her. Together, they cry for two whole minutes before deciding they're over it. Note that this is one of few occasions in ''Sonichu'' where an undesirable situation is not resolved in an artifically cheerful way. Christine scoops up her siblings, Rosechu mentioning how she's gone from "middle child to big sister", and they all head off in their electric car.

===Hoax conclusion===
[[Image:Sonichu 11 Teaser.jpg|thumb|[[Alec Benson Leary]]'s rendition.]]
On 24 [[April 2010]], the Sysop of the [[CWCipedia]] uploaded two new episodes from ''Sonichu'' #11. These stories picked up where [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] left off and continued the dark and downbeat tone: [[Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]] were killed in the bombing of the CWCville [[Mal-Wart]]; [[Sandy Rosechu]] was run over by an inattentive driver; [[Wild]] committed suicide in a fit of grief and rage; [[Christine]] and [[Robbie]] were killed and [[Cerah]] badly injured when the three of them drank drain cleaner; [[Rosechu]] smothered her permanently crippled daughter with a pillow; [[Sonichu]] demanded a divorce; and [[Reginald Sneasel]] decided to show the world his "[[Pickle|seven-inch lightning rod]]." An archive of the pages can be seen [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/that-one-issue.197/#post-20215 here].

Despite an overwhelmingly positive fan response to the new pages, Chris clarified in a rage-filled [[CWC Blog]] update that they were the work of a troll<ref>[[CWC_Blog#26_April_2010]]</ref>. During The Great Rampage 2.0 (when the [[CWCipedia]] was hacked for the second and final time), the pages were restored, but the CWCipedia died the next day.

==Comic pages==
Special Episode - A Sonichu Christmas
<center>{{collapsible
|12 pages from 2009
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:SchuComic11P1.jpg
File:SchuComic11P2.jpg
File:SchuComic11P3.jpg|Despite Rosechu apparently loving to shop, this is one of the only times we see her in a different dress
File:SchuComic11P4.jpg
File:SchuComic11P5.jpg
File:SchuComic11P6.jpg
File:SchuComic11P7.jpg
File:SchuComic11P8.jpg
File:SchuComic11P9.jpg
File:SchuComic11P10.jpg
File:SchuComic11P11.jpg
File:SchuComic11P12.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

<center>{{collapsible
|11 pages from 4 September 2015 (pre-$1,000 donation)
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11p13.jpg
File:Son11p14.jpg
File:Son11p15.jpg
File:Son11p16.jpg
File:Son11p17.jpg
File:Son11p18.jpg
File:Son11p19.jpg
File:Son11p20.jpg
File:Son11p21.jpg
File:Son11p22.jpg
File:Son11p23.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

<center>{{collapsible
|16 pages from 25 October 2015 (post-$1,000 donation)
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11p24.jpg
File:Son11p25.jpg
File:Son11p26.jpg
File:Son11p27.jpg
File:Son11p28.jpg
File:Son11p29.jpg
File:Son11p30.jpg
File:Son11p31.jpg
File:Son11p32.jpg
File:Son11p33.jpg
File:Son11p34.jpg
File:Son11p35.jpg
File:Son11p36.jpg
File:Son11p37.jpg
File:Son11p38.jpg
File:Son11p39.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

On 5 September 2015, a set of uncolored development images of Sonichu #11 pages was leaked<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sonichu-11-development-images.12384</ref>. They appear to prove that the 2015 pages were in fact new, and not something he had been holding back for an extended time.
<center>{{collapsible
|Development Images
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11development1.jpg
File:Son11development2.jpg
File:Son11development3.jpg
File:Son11development4.jpg
File:Son11development5.jpg
</gallery>}}</center>

==What Can We Anticipate?==

The ultimate content of future episodes can only be speculated on; doubtless, it will consist of the first thing that comes to Chris's head whenever he can be bothered to scrawl a few pages. [[Sonic]] appears prominently on the cover, making it probable that he will make his first appearance since he helped Sonichu rescue Rosechu way back in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]].

Chris has said that "''The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed.''"<ref>[[Mailbag 51]]</ref> This is almost entirely incomprehensible, as a [[Wikipedia:Reboot (fiction)|reboot]] is a declaration by a Great Director that previously-established canon is null and void, or at least irrelevant. For example, ''[[wikipedia:Batman Begins|Batman Begins]]'' was a fresh start with no canonical relation to the [[wikipedia:Batman|comic book source material]] or the [[wikipedia:Batman (film series)|previous film franchise]]. A [[Wikipedia:Clip show|clip show]], on the other hand, is a TV episode composed mainly of excerpts from previous episodes. Neither of these correspond to answered questions or revealed plots. It's possible that by "Clip Show," Chris meant that ''Sonichu'' #11 would contain more [[Wikipedia:backstory|backstory]], while by "reboot," he meant that the existing "plot" would be [[Chris and writing|clumsily resolved in a couple of pages]] before establishing a new status quo (though considering Chris's pathological [[Sonic Boom Protests|revulsion to change]], this isn't likely). It is likely that a "clip show" issue would allow Chris to release an issue by reusing content from the previous ones.

Chris also said that he would refashion ''Sonichu'' into a less [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarizing]] and more [[Liquid Chris|authentic]] franchise, and has attempted to do so via retcons and revised artwork; all appearances and mentions of [[Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] were replaced by "original" mad scientist Ren Skysoar and [[Sonic]] and [[Amy Rose]] in [[Sonichu 1]] are revealed to be an illusion by [[Silvana Rosechu]]. The clear derivative nature of the series is nonetheless present.

Over the years Chris has dropped a few hints about specific plotlines. At one point he stated, ''"[[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."''<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> He later elaborated, ''"Count Graduon will be the Major Villain beyond ''[''Sonichu'' #10]'', possessing the [[Metal Sonichu]] that crashed on [[the moon]] back in [[Sonichu 1|Book 1]].''<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> The issue may also move to [[RuleCWC]]: Chris has said that ''"[[Darkbind]] and [[Zelina]] will be fighting [[Clawdorf]] with great sword and bow/arrow battles."''<ref>[[Mailbag 52]]</ref>

There may also be a lack of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Great Director intrusion]]: ''"After [[Sonichu 10|Book 10]], I will be making LESS personal appearances in the pages, as having done so was a big mistake, because I had got carried away with the [[Love quest|trials and tribulations]] in my life, [[Man in the Pickle Suit|real]] and [[BlueSpike|online]], that it completely messed me up."''<ref>[[Mailbag 53]]</ref>

The long-awaited continuation of Sonichu 11 in [[September 2015]] has so far involved only the playing-out of the boring Christmas story and the revelation that [[Simonla]] is not dead after all.

===2016 comments===
Chris discussed the comic with [[Arthur Spatchcock]] in early 2016.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And uh, kind of a spoiler, there will be a part in a future story where he-- where pretty much in a dream scenario, he has to swim in a river of essentially pickle brine juice.

'''Arthur:''' Oh no.

'''Chris:''' And he blows up during the swim.

'''Arthur:''' Really? So he's like, he's like deathly allergic to pickles?

'''Chris:''' Quite.

'''Arthur:''' He better hope he gets an [[wikipedia:Epinephrine|endephrine shot]] after that.

'''Chris:''' Well he's quite, uh, he's quite strong, so he's able to survive it, and at the end of the river is uh, is a healing pond at which he recovers from the allergy fairly quick.

'''Arthur:''' Well I guess that will definitely take care of that problem.

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Arthur:''' Now are you going to be introducing any more new characters into the series? Because right now you've already got quite a collection of people already ready to go. But seeing as how previous villains in the series have either been arrested, or, or gone, or dead, or missing, I should say, are you introducing new villains into the series based on the current, you know, issues in your life?

'''Chris:''' I would say that's still yet to be determined. But at least I was-- at least I am definitely glad to give Count Graduon a past human form with which to lead into his spirit, and um, [[Duck|very small]] spoiler, among the uh, people he'll be bringing in uh, the bodies, he finds somebody that looks nearly exactly like he used to, and he brings in-- he becomes one of the Jerkops, so he brings him in and moves his soul from the Metal Sonichu into that body.

'''Arthur:''' Now I gotta tell you right now, I definitely want to see more Metal Sonichu.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you'll definitely see Graduon's soul in Metal Sonichu's body, and uh, Skysoar will be employed under Graduon, and he'll make a few more of them.

'''Arthur:''' See, what you need in the series, I think to really push the bad guys now, instead of just having Jerkops, you need like, robotic Jerkops, like 2.0.

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, pretty much, uh...

'''Arthur:''' After all, when you have a hero like Sonichu... Sonichu is already pretty powerful, and all of his friends are pretty strong too. You need to start adding that concept of conflict by making the enemies tougher too.

'''Chris:''' ...Yes, that will be taken under consideration. I already have a few-- I already have a few ideas on my mind, among which. But that is definitely one I could definitely add into, uh, the uh, into the Jerkop and Janekops, there.

'''Arthur:''' Because--

'''Chris:''' Make 'em-- make 'em a bit cyborg.

'''Arthur:''' Yes, you know, it's like, uh, it's like Power Rangers, the original Power Rangers, with Zordon? When they had the Putties, and then they had the Lord Zedd Putties?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. ...Quite. But anyway, yes, I will take all that under great consideration.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu #11 Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0hhhM_lfR-8}}
| stardate = 11 [[August 2011]]
| maker = archhalljr10
| subject = ''Sonichu'' #11
| type = Fan trailer
}}

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_11/Page_1 ''Sonichu'' #11]
* [https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.915813811846432.1073741853.100002534669114&type=3/ 2015 Pages of Sonichu 11]
* [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/that-one-issue.197/#post-20215 Mirror of Sysop's FALSE and DISHONEST version of pages 13-38]

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Sonichu 11

2017-02-06T10:58:53Z

RedVine01: /* A Sonichu Christmas */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Unfinished}}
{{Begging Counter}}

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #11
| cover = Issue 11 Cover.jpg
| coverdate = 13 [[August 2009]]
| finishedcomic = ''incomplete''
| pagecount = 39 (so far)
| Episodes = 22
| previous = [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]
| next = [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]
}}

{{Quote|I have not ended [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]; I only lost inspiration to [[Chris and art|draw]], thanks to [[Trolls|the people online]].|Chris, September 2010.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I am getting back into the swing of drawing, writing and coloring my pages. The stories resume! And I am not letting too many cooks into this kitchen like I did inadvertently with the haters.|Chris, September 2015.<ref>[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Sonichu 11 Continues]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I have been unable to get that routine successfully habitual and set. The reasons are between my Emotions and Mood; I have to be in the right mind set in order to draw and create.|Chris, February 2016, shortly before citing a bunch of tired excuses as to why he won’t work on the comic that he was paid over $1,000 to do.<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism]]</ref>}}

'''''Sonichu'' #11''' is the twelfth comic in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]], dated 13 [[August 2009]]. The cover claims to be the tenth anniversary issue. (Ten years without a "cease and desist" letter from [[Nintendo]] or [[Sega]]!) Chris abandoned the issue in [[December 2009]], months before the tenth anniversary of [[Sonichu]]'s creation came and went on 17 [[March 2010]]. For years it seemed that Chris was done with Sonichu forever. On 4 [[September 2015]], however, in an unprecedented act of will and determination, Chris managed to crawl back from his long dark night of [[Kick the Autistic|abuse]] at the hands of the trolls and cyber-bullies, and finally released new pages. The revival of the Sonichu comic proved too stressful for Chris, in spite of the fact that he had been paid over $1,000 to do it<ref>[[Etsy#Donate towards New Comic Book Pages]]</ref>, and he dropped the project once again after 25 October.

==Production Notes==
[[Chris]] began writing this issue while [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] was also in production, apparently to have somewhere to put the comic version of "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]," which is even more unendurably boring than its prose counterpart. Christmas [[2009]] came and went, and Chris apparently forgot about this unfinished story with eight pages to go. In the meantime, he was still engrossed in tracing shit for his epic battle with [[Reldnahc]] and the anti-[[gay]] vaccine from the future. So far, Chris has kept the promise of not including the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic Chris]] as a character, restructuring the series to its original intention as an uninspired ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' [[Chris and copyright|homage]].

The glorious, yet brief, resurrection of this comic on 4 September 2015, when Chris uploaded 11 new pages, was accompanied by a [[Etsy#Donate towards New Comic Book Pages|donation bucket]] on his new [[Etsy]] account. One day later, a Youtube reviewer named [[Weening|DStecks]] gave Chris $1,000, thinking that Chris would deliver 100 pages of Sonichu. The donation listing was one of his best-selling items, until Etsy forced him to remove it, apparently because it violated TOS<ref>[[May 2016 Facebook posts#Etsy listing removal]]</ref>. [[List of Chris's lies|Money would go towards production of ''Sonichu'' #11]], with a single character drawing offered to each person who donated, almost like a poor man's [[Wikipedia:Patreon|Patreon]]. Chris completed a further 16 pages before dropping the project. In [[February 2016]], he claimed that he was too stressed to continue Sonichu 11<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism]]</ref>.

Only 27 pages were added in 2015, but in them, the ubiquitous elements of ''Sonichu'' - boring and confusing plotlines, inappropriate portrayals of underage characters, walls of expository text and tone-deaf racism - are present and accounted for.

==A Sonichu Christmas==
{{Resources
| title = A Sonichu Christmas
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.915813811846432.1073741853.100002534669114&type=3 ''A Sonichu Christmas''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_11/Page_1 ''A Sonichu Christmas''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9245JMAhhw ''A Sonichu Christmas''}}
[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|Take that, separation of church and state! Also: child molestation.]]
[[Image:Thisemotionyoucallwuvconfusesandinfuriatesus.jpg|thumb|She's addressing Chris.]]
In [[December 2009]], in response to requests for a ''Sonichu'' Christmas special, Chris began to create a comic adaptation of "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]," at the same time as he was working on the original prose version of the story. This marks the second time that Chris's [[Chris and writing|prose]] was adapted into comic form - the short story "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]" served as the basis for Episodes 1 and 2 in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]. The story contains nothing of substantial value to the overarching saga of ''Sonichu'', instead just depicting the Lovehogs and their hellish offspring partaking in various boring and tedious Christmas activities, with no conflict or general narrative friction whatsoever.

The comic opens to show Sonichu's family in various states of celebration for the Christmas season, with the house decorated for the holiday. For a wintertime scene, the lawn of 14 Brunchland Lane is impossibly green, while a bike is left out along the side of the house awaiting permanent rusting from the events to follow. This is because Chris [[Scrapbook of Fail|reused]] the [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/2/27/SchuComic9P34.jpg original 14 Brunchland Lane picture] seen in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] with half-assed editing of the clouds and sky to a dark blue color to reflect the nighttime, the removal of [[Reldnahc]] running down the road, and the addition of poorly-rendered Christmas lights and a wreath onto the house. Chris believes toddlers can do a lot, as Cerah, Christine and Robbie hang stockings, rehearse for the overtly Christian school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them appears to be in elementary school, so Chris likely forgot how old they were supposed to be.

While rehearsing for a Christmas pageant at her school, Christine plagiarizes a joke from ''[[Family Guy]]'' when she ad libs that the Virgin Mary may not really have been a [[virgin]], which has the unfortunate effect of making it seem like Christine has been raped or molested. Sonichu and [[Robbie]] are seen to be hanging stockings, and Robbie butchers a quote from a [[wikipedia:A Visit from St. Nicholas|holiday classic]]. After a long, boring conversation about what toys Robbie wants, the conversation finally ends with Sonichu giving a diabetes-inducing speech about loving his little angelic kids.

Meanwhile Rosechu and [[Cerah]] make cookies. Cerah makes a big deal about making a special cookie for a [[Jewish]] kid named [[Kevin the Jew|Kevin]] in an uncomfortably awkward attempt at sensitivity. The cookie, made in the vague shape of a candle, bears no resemblance to any Jewish symbol. The cookie is vanilla-flavored, in case the kid has some kind of food allergy. Rosechu and Cerah do not consider that anyone other than Jews might have food allergies. Cerah says "I wuv you!" while facing away from her mother and directly at the reader, apparently breaking the fourth wall.

In the living room, Robbie and Cerah notice that it has begun to snow. As they watch, Sonichu and Rosechu discuss the weather forecast and decide to hoard groceries while the roads are still clear. While Sonichu goes to the supermarket, Christine recites [[Wikipedia:Magnificat|Luke 1:45-55]] (which Chris types as Luke 1:46.5 - 55) while Rosechu watches and the children stare on with their soulless green eyes. Incidentally, this Bible verse mentions how [[GodJesus]] will reward the humble and [[Chris and his ego|punish the proud and the mighty]]. While this passage is commonly heard in Protestant churches, there's no way that any American public school in the 21st century could get away with anything this overtly religious without fear of legal reprisal.

Later, Sonichu returns home with groceries, and is welcomed home woodenly by Rosechu. His trip to the grocery store is not depicted or described in any way, rendering it a pointless plot feature.

The next morning, Sonichu and Rosechu sit in the kitchen drinking coffee. A [[KCWC]] announcer details [[CWCville]] school closings, and Sonichu expresses his anticipated enjoyment of a day spent with his family, hot "[[tobacky|coca]]" and a warm shower. Rosechu nags him to clear the snow burying their palatial residence, so Sonichu "bundles up for work." The kids wake and greet their father in unsettling unison, to which Sonichu replies with a hearty "good [[Geinus|mornint]]." Noticing that all doors and windows are barred by mounds of snow, Sonichu decides to show off in front of the kids by jumping up their chimney like Santa Claus. Outside, he uses his super speed to scatter the snow off of his yard, heedless of the likelihood that the light and fluffy snow he's moving will be blown towards a busy road and possibly cause a [[Son-Chu|tragic accident]]. Exhausted, he heads back into the house for [[Chris and health#Hygiene|a shower]]. Waiting patiently by the bathroom (because Chris thinks women spend all their time waiting to be directed by men), Rosechu holds a hideous novelty Christmas towel and blesses Sonichu for doing thirty seconds of chores.

To bore us further, we are informed that Robbie [[Christian Weston Chandler|plays video games and watches TV]] and reminded that Rosechu is motivated only by her [[Women's rights|desire to cook and clean]]. Cerah, meanwhile, plays ''Call of Duty: World at War'', an eight-year-old video game, with Kevin the Jew. Kevin's character dies and his score is erased (even though ''Call of Duty'' doesn't work that way as a game), and when he complains, Cera chides him that he "[[Sonic Boom Protests|can't be so attached to a set of pixels]]." The two fight over the game, and soon after [[Magi-Chan]] begins chatting to Cerah telepathically about the incident (presumably having been [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nineteen_Eighty-Four monitoring her thoughts]), exploring her feelings for Kevin despite the fact that she's [[Pedofork|supposed to be a toddler]]. Meanwhile, Sonichu and Robbie meet a homeless woman and instead of offering her a place to sleep in their luxury home provided by the city of CWCville, they call her a cab to a soup kitchen. Robbie, eager for adulation, announces that he feels embarrassed by his professed enormous reservoir of empathy for the less fortunate.

Blake and Bubbles are approached by [[Inos]], who wishes them a happy Kwanzaa. Blake suddenly remarks furiously that he isn't [[Chris and race|racist]] before [[Chris and Hypocrisy|expressing furious rage]] at the mere notion of someone thinking he is black, insisting mystifyingly that his fur does not look "skinburn colour." A [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retroactive flashback]] informs us that [[Simonla]] actually survived the Voltorb attack in ''Sonichu'' #10 due to a healing ability that was never referenced before. She is reunited with Wild, her (for all intents and purposes identical) daughter Sandy, and Zapina, who hugs Simonla and calls her "sis."

As they leave the hospital, Sandy's thoughts turn toward the [[Asperpedia Four|"bad men" in Amish Country]] and whether or not they celebrate Christmas. Wild immediately checks his smart phone and explains very tersely that the Amish actually celebrate two Christmases, focusing on "family, togetherness and reglion [sic]". Sandy imagines Mao and Alec trading simple building materials on Christmas, before almost orgasming at the thought of raising a barn. Mao and Alec also appreciate the fact that Sean is placated by rocks, for [[Audiobooks|he indeed rocks]]. All their discourse is conducted in English [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pennsylvania_Dutch for some reason]. [[Evan]] is unmentioned. Sandy concludes her fantasy by proclaiming the Amish "weird". The entire segment is, of course, a ham-fisted attempt to remind everyone that Chris rectonned the violent deaths of these men in ''[[Sonichu 10]]'' into an exile into Amish country.

Wild and Simonla then take Sandy and Zapina (who may or may not have her own family) off to [[Country Cookin']] to celebrate. A totally unwarranted author's note informs the reader that all Sonichus and Rosechus drive hybrids. Meanwhile, up in the mountains for some reason, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Silvana Rosechu]] huddle around a fire, and exchange wooden statements about how they are "fated" to be a couple. Silvana thanks Magi-Chan for all the character development that has occurred off-panel, and asks if he remembers how they first met. Magi-Chan confusingly suggests, [[Chris and Writing|"at the risk of breaking the fourth wall"]], they save the story they both know for another time. Silvana then demands they "shut up, make out and mate up" and Magi-Chan expresses his desire to literally destroy the mountain they are on via violent intercourse.

We then see [[Punchy]] decorating his dojo (since all [[Chris and Race|Asians]] celebrate Christmas, apparently), and [[Angelica]] "sets a table" (the "table" is the altar of her church, which Chris evidently believes Catholics use as a dining table). No sign of [[Reginald Sneasel|Reginald]] or [[Layla Flaafy|Layla]] though; perhaps Reginald's constant attempts at relationship sabotage have finally borne fruit, or more likely Chris has lost interest in the characters and they will never be mentioned again.

At long last, we see Christine performing in the Nativity Play (along with Kevin, the practicing Jew). Suddenly, Christine begins to evolve, and runs off stage in embarrassment. She texts Rosechu (since everybody just has a smartphone in this issue) about her clothes being destroyed and the great urgency with which she needs new ones. This once again muddies the waters regarding Sonichus and Rosechus and clothing; Christine is practically hysterical over not having any clothes to wear even though she's covered in fur and many of the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon never wear clothing at all.

Clothing issues notwithstanding, Rosechu finds the now-adult Christine behind a locked door, and comforts her by sharing in a duet of [[Tomgirl|"I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman"]]. Sonichu suddenly returns with "coat, sandals, socks, [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|panties]]" before regaling everyone with a pointless, extremely detailed account of his trip home and back. Christine triumphantly returns to the stage and completes her part, despite dwarfing the rest of the cast.

After the play, Cera approaches Kevin and apologizes for killing off his video game character, offering him dreidel cookies as a way of making amends. Kevin calmly explains (inexplicably employing a huge amount of military jargon) how Cera's aggressive video game playing has proven "too much for him" and unceremoniously breaks up with her. These characters are supposed to be very young children.

Devastated, Cera breaks down into tears and the famously empathetic Robbie comes over to comfort her. Together, they cry for two whole minutes before deciding they're over it. Note that this is one of few occasions in ''Sonichu'' where an undesirable situation is not resolved in an artifically cheerful way. Christine scoops up her siblings, Rosechu mentioning how she's gone from "middle child to big sister", and they all head off in their electric car.

===Hoax conclusion===
[[Image:Sonichu 11 Teaser.jpg|thumb|[[Alec Benson Leary]]'s rendition.]]
On 24 [[April 2010]], the Sysop of the [[CWCipedia]] uploaded two new episodes from ''Sonichu'' #11. These stories picked up where [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] left off and continued the dark and downbeat tone: [[Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]] were killed in the bombing of the CWCville [[Mal-Wart]]; [[Sandy Rosechu]] was run over by an inattentive driver; [[Wild]] committed suicide in a fit of grief and rage; [[Christine]] and [[Robbie]] were killed and [[Cerah]] badly injured when the three of them drank drain cleaner; [[Rosechu]] smothered her permanently crippled daughter with a pillow; [[Sonichu]] demanded a divorce; and [[Reginald Sneasel]] decided to show the world his "[[Pickle|seven-inch lightning rod]]." An archive of the pages can be seen [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/that-one-issue.197/#post-20215 here].

Despite an overwhelmingly positive fan response to the new pages, Chris clarified in a rage-filled [[CWC Blog]] update that they were the work of a troll<ref>[[CWC_Blog#26_April_2010]]</ref>. During The Great Rampage 2.0 (when the [[CWCipedia]] was hacked for the second and final time), the pages were restored, but the CWCipedia died the next day.

==Comic pages==
Special Episode - A Sonichu Christmas
<center>{{collapsible
|12 pages from 2009
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:SchuComic11P1.jpg
File:SchuComic11P2.jpg
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</gallery>}}</center>

<center>{{collapsible
|11 pages from 4 September 2015 (pre-$1,000 donation)
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11p13.jpg
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</gallery>}}</center>

<center>{{collapsible
|16 pages from 25 October 2015 (post-$1,000 donation)
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11p24.jpg
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</gallery>}}</center>

On 5 September 2015, a set of uncolored development images of Sonichu #11 pages was leaked<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sonichu-11-development-images.12384</ref>. They appear to prove that the 2015 pages were in fact new, and not something he had been holding back for an extended time.
<center>{{collapsible
|Development Images
|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Son11development1.jpg
File:Son11development2.jpg
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</gallery>}}</center>

==What Can We Anticipate?==

The ultimate content of future episodes can only be speculated on; doubtless, it will consist of the first thing that comes to Chris's head whenever he can be bothered to scrawl a few pages. [[Sonic]] appears prominently on the cover, making it probable that he will make his first appearance since he helped Sonichu rescue Rosechu way back in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]].

Chris has said that "''The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed.''"<ref>[[Mailbag 51]]</ref> This is almost entirely incomprehensible, as a [[Wikipedia:Reboot (fiction)|reboot]] is a declaration by a Great Director that previously-established canon is null and void, or at least irrelevant. For example, ''[[wikipedia:Batman Begins|Batman Begins]]'' was a fresh start with no canonical relation to the [[wikipedia:Batman|comic book source material]] or the [[wikipedia:Batman (film series)|previous film franchise]]. A [[Wikipedia:Clip show|clip show]], on the other hand, is a TV episode composed mainly of excerpts from previous episodes. Neither of these correspond to answered questions or revealed plots. It's possible that by "Clip Show," Chris meant that ''Sonichu'' #11 would contain more [[Wikipedia:backstory|backstory]], while by "reboot," he meant that the existing "plot" would be [[Chris and writing|clumsily resolved in a couple of pages]] before establishing a new status quo (though considering Chris's pathological [[Sonic Boom Protests|revulsion to change]], this isn't likely). It is likely that a "clip show" issue would allow Chris to release an issue by reusing content from the previous ones.

Chris also said that he would refashion ''Sonichu'' into a less [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarizing]] and more [[Liquid Chris|authentic]] franchise, and has attempted to do so via retcons and revised artwork; all appearances and mentions of [[Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] were replaced by "original" mad scientist Ren Skysoar and [[Sonic]] and [[Amy Rose]] in [[Sonichu 1]] are revealed to be an illusion by [[Silvana Rosechu]]. The clear derivative nature of the series is nonetheless present.

Over the years Chris has dropped a few hints about specific plotlines. At one point he stated, ''"[[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."''<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> He later elaborated, ''"Count Graduon will be the Major Villain beyond ''[''Sonichu'' #10]'', possessing the [[Metal Sonichu]] that crashed on [[the moon]] back in [[Sonichu 1|Book 1]].''<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> The issue may also move to [[RuleCWC]]: Chris has said that ''"[[Darkbind]] and [[Zelina]] will be fighting [[Clawdorf]] with great sword and bow/arrow battles."''<ref>[[Mailbag 52]]</ref>

There may also be a lack of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Great Director intrusion]]: ''"After [[Sonichu 10|Book 10]], I will be making LESS personal appearances in the pages, as having done so was a big mistake, because I had got carried away with the [[Love quest|trials and tribulations]] in my life, [[Man in the Pickle Suit|real]] and [[BlueSpike|online]], that it completely messed me up."''<ref>[[Mailbag 53]]</ref>

The long-awaited continuation of Sonichu 11 in [[September 2015]] has so far involved only the playing-out of the boring Christmas story and the revelation that [[Simonla]] is not dead after all.

===2016 comments===
Chris discussed the comic with [[Arthur Spatchcock]] in early 2016.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And uh, kind of a spoiler, there will be a part in a future story where he-- where pretty much in a dream scenario, he has to swim in a river of essentially pickle brine juice.

'''Arthur:''' Oh no.

'''Chris:''' And he blows up during the swim.

'''Arthur:''' Really? So he's like, he's like deathly allergic to pickles?

'''Chris:''' Quite.

'''Arthur:''' He better hope he gets an [[wikipedia:Epinephrine|endephrine shot]] after that.

'''Chris:''' Well he's quite, uh, he's quite strong, so he's able to survive it, and at the end of the river is uh, is a healing pond at which he recovers from the allergy fairly quick.

'''Arthur:''' Well I guess that will definitely take care of that problem.

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Arthur:''' Now are you going to be introducing any more new characters into the series? Because right now you've already got quite a collection of people already ready to go. But seeing as how previous villains in the series have either been arrested, or, or gone, or dead, or missing, I should say, are you introducing new villains into the series based on the current, you know, issues in your life?

'''Chris:''' I would say that's still yet to be determined. But at least I was-- at least I am definitely glad to give Count Graduon a past human form with which to lead into his spirit, and um, [[Duck|very small]] spoiler, among the uh, people he'll be bringing in uh, the bodies, he finds somebody that looks nearly exactly like he used to, and he brings in-- he becomes one of the Jerkops, so he brings him in and moves his soul from the Metal Sonichu into that body.

'''Arthur:''' Now I gotta tell you right now, I definitely want to see more Metal Sonichu.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you'll definitely see Graduon's soul in Metal Sonichu's body, and uh, Skysoar will be employed under Graduon, and he'll make a few more of them.

'''Arthur:''' See, what you need in the series, I think to really push the bad guys now, instead of just having Jerkops, you need like, robotic Jerkops, like 2.0.

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, pretty much, uh...

'''Arthur:''' After all, when you have a hero like Sonichu... Sonichu is already pretty powerful, and all of his friends are pretty strong too. You need to start adding that concept of conflict by making the enemies tougher too.

'''Chris:''' ...Yes, that will be taken under consideration. I already have a few-- I already have a few ideas on my mind, among which. But that is definitely one I could definitely add into, uh, the uh, into the Jerkop and Janekops, there.

'''Arthur:''' Because--

'''Chris:''' Make 'em-- make 'em a bit cyborg.

'''Arthur:''' Yes, you know, it's like, uh, it's like Power Rangers, the original Power Rangers, with Zordon? When they had the Putties, and then they had the Lord Zedd Putties?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. ...Quite. But anyway, yes, I will take all that under great consideration.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu #11 Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0hhhM_lfR-8}}
| stardate = 11 [[August 2011]]
| maker = archhalljr10
| subject = ''Sonichu'' #11
| type = Fan trailer
}}

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_11/Page_1 ''Sonichu'' #11]
* [https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.915813811846432.1073741853.100002534669114&type=3/ 2015 Pages of Sonichu 11]
* [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/that-one-issue.197/#post-20215 Mirror of Sysop's FALSE and DISHONEST version of pages 13-38]

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Commissions (2014-2015)

2017-02-06T10:55:46Z

RedVine01: /* Donation listing drawings */

On 1 [[July 2014]], Chris began taking '''commissions for his [[Chris and art| artwork]]''' on [[eBay]]. He offered a B&W 8.5 X 11 for $50, a colored 8.5 X 11 for $100, and a colored drawing in a ''frame'' for $200. Though several B&Ws and coloreds were purchased, needless to say nobody was willing to pay the extra $100 for a frame. By the time he had shifted his business to [[Etsy]] in [[September 2015]], he had lowered prices to $30 for a B&W and $50 for a colored.

==Description==
{{quotebox|
Straight from the creator and artist, Christian Weston Chandler (myself), you may now request a Fresh full-colored hand-drawn and colored artwork with Non-Offensive subject matters directly. NO LOCAL PICKUP AVAILABLE, at the Personal Risk of myself, the Original Creator and Artist.

<nowiki>***</nowiki>Included in this set of The Works are Lamination of the piece for helping it last a lot longer. A personal hand-written Certificate of Authenticity directly from me, the artist. And a lovely picture frame. All in all, it all is very well worth it.

<nowiki>***</nowiki>Note: the artworks in the photos are Sample Pieces, previously commissioned to select others before today, June 30, 2014, and those particular pieces are Not available for individual sale, as the original pieces have already been shipped to their respective owners who paid in full as well.

<nowiki>****</nowiki>When purchasing, please state your Non-Offensive drawing request in the Message either beforehand, or during upon checkout in the message block via PayPal. Please properly checkout through this listing here on eBay. Do Not make your requests anywhere outside of eBay. I reserve the right to issue a refund should I feel the subject matter of the request to be offensive upon reading it. Thank you.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>ONLY on Commission Purchases, I am offering Text Messaging updates. Should you purchase a commission job from me, I will personally extend an offer to you individually and request your number if you would like Texting Updates.}}

Chris posted six samples of his work, which he claimed were already sold, as examples of his craftsmanship. A [[July 25, 2014 Leaks|conversation with an anonymous male friend]] reveals that Chris had produced these commissions for a select few during the previous month. Presumably this success inspired him to go public.

<center><gallery>
File:Chris Commissions 1.JPG|Who shot that gun?
File:Chris Commissions 2.JPG|I gave that drunk "king" the what-for!!
File:Chris Commissions 3.JPG|[[Rosechu]] and some other recolor
File:Chris Commissions 4.JPG|A comedy masterpiece
File:Chris Commissions 5.JPG|Some bullshit, who cares
File:Chris Commissions 6.JPG|Fruit or dinosaur words
</gallery></center>

==Questions and Answers==
{{quoteboxred|
I was looking into buying a picture commission and I am wondering why the price differences between all three? It's a $50 difference between B and W and a colored commission and then another $50 between a color commission without a frame and one with one. I could essentially buy a colored commission without a frame and then buy a nice $10 one at walmart and have the $200 sale at $160. Did you make the frames?? Is that why it's so expensive? Or are the frames such good quality that they've costed you $40-50? I'm not dissing on your sales, I'm just pointing out something I noticed. I think you'd sell more pictures with frames if you charged maybe $160 instead of $200.}}

{{quotebox|
Firstly, it is the Time and Detail, Heart and Soul, that goes more greatly into the coloured commissions. More time is definitely needed in the coloured commissions. And then in the best offer, there is the Certificate which I personally sign and date, and I laminate the drawings. The frames vary on which is available from 10 to 50 at the time and circumstances locally at my end.}}

{{quoteboxred|
If the quality of the art isn't that good, can the customer get a refund of their money?}}

{{quotebox|
No refunds.}}

{{quoteboxred|
Hi Mr. Chandler,

I want to buy one of your pieces as a gift to my girlfriend [omitted] who is a big fan of your works. We are two girls dating so obviously she was very excited about three characters being L B and T, Cera Christine and Robbie. Since she is also obsessed with prom planning, I thought a good picture for her would be to order one of those characters in a cute dress with their prom date.

But after finishing the comic, I realize Sandy is the only girl around their age so the other two (who didn't get Sandy) would not have dates. As I want the drawing to be canon ([omitted] is super into stuff being canon), I was wondering who in your internal universe the Sonichu and Rosechu siblings would all take to the prom before I order the picture just to be sure she would like it.

Sorry if this seems like a weird request, I just want to be a really good girlfriend and $150 is a lot of money for me on my mom's VISA.

Thank you in advance for your consideration.}}

{{quotebox|
That is Really Sweet and Awesome! Let me think... Last I wrote, Christine had a crush on a Jewish boy, pre-evolved. I had not made up anyone for Cera or Robbie yet, but they both would go out with girls, most definitely. Christine is the Bi. I have just checked, and the Jewish boy dumps her; Christine was devastated. Then she was attracted to her lesbian best friend, Karen Lyon, who took her back to her place eventually and totally went Tribbing on her! Then she hooks up with Benjamin Matthews with everything; after that with him, she realized herself as a Bisexual. Cera really likes this Chinese girl, Cassandra Kinsley. Those are who they all go to the Prom with.

You may pay for the $100 color commission; no frame, laminate or certificate, but with my current offer, you get a second commission or a medallion of your choice for Free...}}

Several customers made the decision to fork over money for personalized artwork by Chris. The finished masterpieces are shown here.

==Untitled, dated 7/6/2014==
For this work, the recipient (Trickie[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/rosechus-story.3444/page-45#post-495889])asked Chris to draw a scene from her comic, "Rosechu's Story." Her response to Chris's effort: "I'm pretty happy with basically everything except for the fact that he forgot that the pokeball is supposed to be opened, which I specifically requested."

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions B 3.jpg|300px]]}}
</center>

<center><gallery>
File:Commissions B 1.jpg|The envelope it came in.
File:Commissions B 2.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Untitled, dated 7/6/2014==
The buyer sent the following request to Chris:

{{quoteboxgreen|
Hey Chris,

For my commission I would like a collage of my favorite wrestler, Rob Van Dam, drawn in your signature style with a special Sonichu spin to the designs on RVD's clothes. I would like one part of the picture to be RVD making this pose http://i.imgur.com/aZVfrfo.jpg, another part to be RVD holding this briefcase http://i.imgur.com/xCSHEr0.jpg and the last part to be Chibi RVD http://i.imgur.com/3YtG5hX.jpg, all with that Sonichu spin. I am sure you can make this all come together!}}

This was followed up by correspondence:

{{quotebox|
Your number has been registered, and I will keep you updated. Rest assured, I promise not to share your number with anyone. Thank you. I have your suggest images, plus an idea in my mind and a magazine and newspaper for background portions.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|
Great, I trust your creativity to fill in any blanks!}}

{{quotebox|
I have completed the piece. The story I came up for it is chibi Ron is the son; he gets picked on at school. "Wah! Wah! The kids bullyme! I want to go to a theme park and laugh at the freak clowns there. Wah! Wah!" Papa Rob and his honey are being abused like as they were "Mr. Money in the Bank"; what trouble for the parents. It will be complimentary laminated to keep the portions secure on the pieces on the back card stock paper. I will ship it to you tomorrow.}}

The result is one of the most surreal and autistic works Chris has ever produced. What it means is anyone's guess; his description offers little help. Chris made sure to scribble over the offensive torsos of the wrestlers and Chibi with black marker. The drawing came covered with [[Hair|hair]] of unknown origin.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions C 2.jpg|450px]]}}
</center>

<center><gallery>
File:Commissions C 1.jpg|lots of hair
</gallery></center>

==Untitled, dated 7/6/2014==
A Japanese industrial/noise/experimental band called L'eclipse Nue (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Leclipse-Nue/189265644421174?pnref=story) commissioned Chris to produce the cover to their album "Negative." The album was released in February 2015.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Negative.jpg|350px]]}}
</center>

==Untitled, dated 7/10/2014==
The buyer asked for a picture of "[[Collosal Chan|Colossal-chan]] and [[Mitch Sonichu]] staring down with CWC as the referee."

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions A.jpg|400px]]}}
</center>

==Untitled, dated 7/10/2014==
The recipient asked for a picture of "CWC shaking hands with [[Clyde Cash]]."

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions H.jpg|350px]]}}
</center>

==Untitled, dated 7/13/2014==
The recipient explained, "I asked for Sonichu and Chris to be fighting Clyde, [[Asperchu]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickel suit]], and [[Liquid Chris|Brown shirted imposter]], with [[Megan Schroeder|Meg]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|MLW]], and [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]] watching. Chris isn't good at following instructions."

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions D 3.jpg|350px]]}}
</center>

<center><gallery>
File:Commissions D 1.jpg|The envelope it came in
</gallery></center>

=="Boy's Night Out at Cheers with Jugs," dated 7/20/2014==
The buyer's request: "About the commission, I would like these three fine gentlemans: http://i.imgur.com/hvmiqKf.jpg in a bar full of only gentlemen. And somewhere in the background I would also like Christian Weston Chandler to also be in this gentleman's bar. Again this is a gentleman's bar, only for men to go to, not gay, kind of like a "Boy's Night Out". And adding a few small talk between the gentlemen in the picture would be great! Thanks Chris!"

Drawings received a certificate and title only if they were the $200 version, or if they were for a repeat customer.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions F 1.jpg|350px]]}}
</center>

<center><gallery>
File:Commissions F 2.jpg|The certificate of authenticity.
</gallery></center>

==Three Untitled Drawings, dated 7/21/2014==
The buyer made the following request:
{{quoteboxred|
For this commission, I would really like to see [[Rosechu]] (with her lightning sword) and [[Ultra Sonichu]] in a friendly pokemon battle. The battle has been going on for a while, and they've been really going at it and giving it their all, and the arena has been torn up quite a bit with rubble lying around and scorch marks on the ground.

I want it to look as though Ultra Sonichu might have the upper hand, but Rosechu is trying to find a way to turn the tables on him.

Incidentally, who do you think would win in a fight between Ultra Sonichu and Rosechu? Sonichu is pretty powerful, but I think Rosechu might be resourceful enough to win. I'd be interested to hear your take.}}

The following correspondence ensued.
{{quotebox|
Send me your payment, I will debate that statistically in my mind and you will find out in the piece.}}

{{quoteboxred|
I'm sorry, but I'm not sure what "you will find out in the piece" means? Are you going to include a separate note saying who would win? Or are you planning to show which one wins in the piece itself?

Glad the payment and the email got to you alright. Thanks again. ^__^}}

{{quotebox|
In the piece itself.}}

{{quoteboxred|
Oh, so that means you're going to change the picture to show one of them winning instead?}}

{{quotebox|
No, it will be a subtle hint. I will tell you directly after I have thought about it.}}

Chris sent three illustrations. They arrived with a handwritten explanation of the art:

{{quotebox|
Hey [omitted],

I have given the matter a Lot of thought, and I ended up drawing a three-piece set for you (a bonus, considering lack of background for Classic Pokemon Battle Style). I felt it a mismatch to pit Super Vs. Regular initially, so I took creative license to make Super and Ultimate Fury into Mega Evolutions for the turn-based gaming format. Also, taking a tip from ScrewAttack's Vegeta Vs. Shadow & Mario Vs. Sonic "Death Battle" episodes (on YouTube) to figure which Mega Evo. Form would last longer, and who could stand battling the other longer... Chaos Object Energy doesn't last as long as a woman's scorn, and considerably finds the end result in reasonable theory. But I would not see death to either anyway, because the Primes, Sonichu & Rosechu, are Not only Sweethearts and Married with Children, the couple are Best Friends with each other. You care, feel, understand and have true compassion for the other;... I would not want to hurt them in the least.

Do you understand?

Have a good day.

Christian W. Chandler}}

<center><gallery>
File:Commissions E 1.jpg
File:Commissions E 2.jpg
File:Commissions E 3.jpg
File:Commissions E 4.jpg|The included handwritten note
</gallery></center>

==Untitled, dated 7/24/2014==
Why, it's [[Wikipedia:ALF (TV series)|ALF]] and his girlfriend Rhonda from Melmac!

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions 14.jpg|450px]]}}
</center>

==Untitled, dated 7/29/2014==
The customer requested a drawing of his fursona. While he supplied a picture of only the dragon's head, Chris came through with the entire animal. The buyer provided further details and appraisals in a video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5HFzNUQREQ.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commission X.jpg|300px]]}}
</center>

=="*A Camera From Memory*," dated 11/28/2014==
The purchaser ordered this for a friend, a photographer. He told Chris he could draw anything related to photography.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions 10.jpg|400px]]}}
</center>

==The Flufflehugs Commissions==
{{quote|Do you really like to lick pussy? Take your time imagining and thinking before you answer.|Chris to his eBay customer Flufflehugs.}}

In late September 2014, the True and Honest fan known as "Flufflehugs" created an original character named Mimi Rosechu, and asked Chris if he would be willing to include her in a commission.

{{quoteboxred|
Would you consider this fan character to be offensive?
[[File:Flufflehugs Commission G.jpg|thumb]]
}}

Chris replied:

{{quotebox|
Wow! Not only do I find that Not Offensive, but it REALLY TURNS ME ON! Please pay me to draw that for you! If pay me the $100 to draw her in color, you can get your choice of a second color commission or a Sonichu or Rosechu [[Medallion]] for Free.
}}

Flufflehugs decided to order two colored comic pages in addition to a medallion. She told Chris her commission could be of whatever he wanted as long as her original character was included. Some time later, she placed a second order of two black-and-white comic pages about [[Homos#Chris the lesbian|male lesbians]]. One month went by, and she had not yet received any of the pages. He sent her a series of excuses.

{{quotebox|
Dear [omitted],

I'm sorry for the delays. I am working on medallions right now, and I am waiting for $80 to be released into my PayPal from stuff I shipped out last Friday to be delivered. I have had a Lot of stressful situations happen to me. I will draw All of your pages today, and ship them out with the medals this week. Thank you for your patience.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I apologize again for the delay, but I will be drawing your comic pages today and shipping them out tomorrow. I am making it a four-page comic, where both sets of your requests will be linked. Have a great and safe day. :)

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I think I've overestimated my mood. I promise to have your four page comic request sent by Wednesday. I apologize again. And, please, do leave positive feedback for me after you get the drawings.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

On 4 November he sent her an update:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

Progress report of the comic pages; I have drawn two of the pages; full-page drawings. The story idea of beginning with the conversation between me and [[Robbie Sonichu]], leading to him meeting Mimi Rosechu, and enjoying a conversation and a cup of coffee with her is in my memory. But unfortunately, what to Write for dialogue has escaped me. I will think this further at rest, and try to complete the dialogue and drawings tomorrow. I have something else to ship out on Friday as well, so I will try to have your drawings completed at best by then.

I sincerely apologize. I have been under my own deal of stress and mental quandaries lately.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Chris finally admitted that he could not complete her commission as she had requested, but hoped that she could accept his half-assed effort.

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I am a woman soul in the male body. I am not psycho or manipulative. I am afraid I could not come up with extensive dialogue for the pages, but I have one page with me and Robbie Sonichu, and two with Mimi and Robbie; all each with a lesbian joke. And I am drawing a single piece of Mimi Rosechu for you. The piece will be laminated and certified, with my compliments, to make up for the wait and lack of better dialogue. You will be pleased, I hope.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

On 13 November Flufflehugs received her commissions:

<center><gallery>
File:Flufflehugs Commission A.jpg|envelope
File:Flufflehugs Commission B.jpg|commission description
File:Flufflehugs Commission C.jpg|a desperate plea
File:Set1pic2.jpg
File:Set1pic3.jpg
File:Set1pic4.jpg
File:Set1pic1.jpg
File:Set1pic1back.png
</gallery></center>

Of course, this was not what Flufflehugs had requested. She had asked for two colored comic pages which incorporated her original character, and two black-and-white comic pages about male lesbians. However, Chris had failed to think of any dialogue for the comics, so instead he sent three colored pages of bad lesbian jokes and a laminated and certified color illustration of her original character. She expressed her dissatisfaction to Chris.

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

Well, I do apologize for lack of better dialogue in the pages. I came up mostly blank. But hey, things got good between Mimi and Robbie. And you have a Certified Drawing of Mimi herself. Plus, among the conversations between Lesbian Transwomen, they would share a joke or two.

I Have Been Under a Lot of [[Stress]]! Please, give me a break. I Need the positive feedback to get my seller label back up to Standard, for better chance for eBay releasing my total funds into my PayPal account, and I need that money to pay my bills an whatnot.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Flufflehugs requested that either she be allowed to return the four pages and allow him to try again, or that he refund her money. He gave a two-part reply:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I can not afford to issue a refund. Let me think it further, and I will make another attempt very soon. Please, keep what I have already sent you, and leave positive feedback.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I will get them thought up and drawn ASAP; I will try for over this weekend.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Concerned about further delays, Flufflehugs kept in touch with Chris. On 18 November he wrote:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I am starting to draw them; I will try to base them between the pages I sent you already. All I have right now for dialogue beginning is "There's a sale at JCPenny; half of discount on dresses." And right now, my mind has gone blank from stress and being tired. I am sorry. I will try to have them completed by Friday.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

And two days later:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I am working on it. My brain just gave out. Here, have a look.

-jesusguidesme2
[[File:Flufflehugs Commission D.png|left|thumb]][[File:Flufflehugs Commission E.png|left|thumb]]
}}

Inspired by [[September 2014 Facebook Posts|recent revelations]], Flufflehugs asked Chris if he would consider drawing a picture depicting tribadism. She also asked him to explain what the act consists of. He replied on 22 November:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

Drawing something so graphic and nude would be a whole other and new Commission Order, and in the Full $100 Colored Commission Price.

And Tribadism is not all that difficult to understand, really. There is a page on the Wikipedia on the subject. And in short, it is where the two women stimulate each other's clitoris simultaneously, more likely by rubbing them with their own clitoris, or with the labia. The clit is amazing at being a sensitive and short yet protrusive part. The female Bonobo monkeys have quite extensive clitoris, and the lesbian Bonobos find their own good times with each other very much.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Four days later, Chris announced that he was finally finished with her commission and was shipping it that day. But then, out of the blue, he asked his eBay customer [[Honest Content|a rather jarring question]]:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

As for what I wanted to ask you about, I really want to become more sex-positive (the alternate term for a slut) and I would like some advice and tips for approaching, talking and flirting with women, like a lesbian. Do you have some advice or tips or do you know any sex positive lesbians there in [omitted] who can help? Thank you.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Flufflehugs responded that she was bisexual, and asked him about [[Chris and health#Exercise|exercise]], [[Chris and health#Nutrition|diet]], and [[Chris and fashion|fashion]]. Chris gave a two-part reply:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],
To answer your questions: I exercise daily with walking for more than a half hour, and I eat twice a day instead of three. My main choices are colored leggings, denim skirts mini to knee length, bold colored shirts and blouses. I could use a shopping day with my sweetheart. Approaching women by autistic default, I am still transitioning out from Really Shy. [[Mia Hamm|The last time I had sex]], it was basic, and it was April of 2012.

And the snow here today, along with lack of shipping tape is delaying the shipping up to Friday now. I have completed your pages; mostly dialogue.

-jesusguidesme2
}}
{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],
Also, are you Positive you're totally a BiSexual woman? My sweetheart realized recently that [[China|pussy]] puts her off mildly, and a woman friend of mine felt the same way in her own realization of the same as well. Do you really like to lick pussy? Take your time imagining and thinking before you answer.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

For some reason, by 28 November he still had not shipped her order. By this time it was clear that he intended to send her three colored comic pages instead of the two colored and two black-and-white pages she had paid for. Consequently, she asked for the tribadism page at no extra charge. He relented.

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],
I have just wrapped your pages and am ready to ship them out. Very well, since I am also asking for your input on the flirting and all, I will draw Robbie and Mimi having a Tribbing over the weekend for you. And the pages I have just drawn for you were also meant to sync with the three drawings I had drawn for you earlier, so you ended up with a six page piece.

The tracking number is [omitted].

Have a good day.
}}

On 1 December, she received the first three comic pages. Out of curiosity, she asked Chris if his recent coming out had had an impact on Comic Chris and other Sonichu characters. He replied:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],
To answer your questions, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], my fictions twin sister, is STILL a straight woman, nothing different from before, and she is supportive of the LGBTQ rights as well.

[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|My comic person]] is the same as I am right now as well, and since the transformations are of one in the same with me, they Are as well.

Additionally, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Reldnahc]] remains the same for himself as well; nothing has changed whatsoever about him either.

I have shipped your Tribbing request yesterday. I felt it would be a fun surprise for you.

Please, wait until January before making any more commission purchases. As I have stated in my recent facebook post, I wish to complete as many medallion requests as possible by next Wednesday, as we are expected to be moving back in within the next couple of weeks.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

On 9 December, she finally received the tribadism page, completing her order. In the image, Robbie was depicted with breasts (but no nipples), and he was wearing an unusual red belt-like object around his waist. Flufflehugs requested an explanation of the mechanics of male lesbian sex. He replied on 17 December:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

To answer your questions; her clit gets rubbed against [[un-clit|his skin down there]]. He got some doctor-recommended Hormone Replacement Therapy with estrogens, the Breasts came naturally through that. That is a strap-on accessory, which would hold a removable dildo within the ring on the front. Robbie is wearing that to keep his [[duck|ugly growth (penis)]] inside of himself so it does not get in the way while they enjoyed the Tribbing.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

So in the end, Flufflehugs received a total of eight color pictures, for a total cost of $150 dollars.

{{gallery
|The last four commissions. Probably not safe for work.
|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Set2Pic1.jpg
File:Set2Pic2.jpg
File:Set2Pic3.jpg
File:Set2Pic4.jpg
</gallery>}}

==Untitled, dated 6/24/2015==
This is a portrait of the recipient, who writes: "She used my FB profile pic for it but I said to use any artistic license she wanted. I think she did the face and hair from the pic, but the rest is without reference and I think it's genuinely one of CWC's better pieces of art, the hands are cool, she got my hair right, the whole thing is so clearly drawn by CWC , but I think she put in some real effort with it!"<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/fan-art-thread.36/page-64#post-966208]]</ref>

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions 11.png|300px]]}}
</center>

=="Do Not Touch My Behind," Dated 9/27/2015==
The buyer made the following request:

{{quoteboxgreen|Did the payment come through ok? This was my first time using Paypal.
Also, I saw that my last few messages contained spelling errors and missing
words. So, I just want to clarify how I want the drawing to look
like.

1. It takes place in the Cwcville Mall Food Court.

2. Trunks should be drawn as he appears in Dragonball GT.
Use that pic I sent you for reference.

3.Robee's girlfriend is sitting at a table with food on it. Robee is standing up because me and Trunks came up to her to talk to her.

4. I want Robee's TRUE AND HONEST reaction to my hand being on her butt(very important that you draw my hand there.) After I asked her(Robee, not her girlfriend) out.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to seeing that drawing. Hopefully it will be in comic book format. I hope....}}

Chris replied:

{{quotebox|Your payment went through fully and successful. I will have your drawing in a comic-style as my past pieces. And, like me, having a male's hand on her butt, and not feeling comfortable, but tolerant, with their presence and such a gesture... I'm just telling you honestly. Thank you.}}

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions 12.jpg|550px]]}}

{{quotebox|[[File:Commissions 12B.jpg|thumb|200px|The certificate of authenticity.]]}}
</center>

==Untitled, Dated 10/6/2015==
This is the vocaloid [[Wikipedia:Kagamine Rin/Len|Len Kagamine]]. Chris forgot to color one of the arms.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions 13C.jpg|400px]]}}

<gallery>
File:Commissions 13B.jpg|The envelope it came in.
File:Commissions 13A.jpg|[[Wild Sonichu]] sticker.
</gallery></center>

=="Sonichu Family's Slice of Life," Dated 11/19/2015==
The buyer requested the [[Sonichu]] family watching [[My Little Pony]] on TV in their living room.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:''Sonichu Family's ''Slice of Life''.jpg|450px]]}}
</center>

=="Bubbles Gets Roses," Dated 11/19/2015==
The buyer asked for [[Bubbles Rosechu]] in red lipstick kissing [[Blake]] Sonichu, who's happy, dizzy, and lovestruck after giving her a big bouquet of flowers.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Bubbles Gets Roses.jpg|450px]]}}
</center>

==Donation listing drawings==
A generous donor posted images of her received character drawing and the filthy envelope it came in. She requested an illustration of "Rosechu waving to the viewer and looking cute."<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/september-2-2015-chris-moves-to-etsy-suggests-donating-to-book-11-and-beyond.12280/page-9#post-961846]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:DonationA.jpg
File:DonationB.jpg
File:DonationC.jpg
</gallery></center>

Another donor requested a sketch of a character dressed in lolita fashion. Chris chose [[Zapina]]:

[[File:DonationE.jpg|thumb|center|200px]]

Another fan requested a drawing of a fan character who was "a big fan of Sonichu and a proud homosexual male." For absolutely no reason at all, Chris chose a Garfield theme:

[[File:DonationD.png|thumb|200px|center|"I make money off of the lasagna I eat!"]]

Yet another fan got a picture of Silvana and Magi-Chan being cute together:

[[File:DonationF.jpg|thumb|200px|center]]

Sonichu seems to be [[stress|stressed]], possibly because Chris drew this the week of his [[26 December 2014|conviction]].

[[File:DonationG.jpg|thumb|200px|center]]

Sonichu, [[Inos]], and an original character.

[[File:November2015donation.jpg|300px|center]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Template:BusinessList}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:EBay]]

Commissions (2014-2015)

2017-02-06T10:50:12Z

RedVine01: /* Donation listing drawings */

On 1 [[July 2014]], Chris began taking '''commissions for his [[Chris and art| artwork]]''' on [[eBay]]. He offered a B&W 8.5 X 11 for $50, a colored 8.5 X 11 for $100, and a colored drawing in a ''frame'' for $200. Though several B&Ws and coloreds were purchased, needless to say nobody was willing to pay the extra $100 for a frame. By the time he had shifted his business to [[Etsy]] in [[September 2015]], he had lowered prices to $30 for a B&W and $50 for a colored.

==Description==
{{quotebox|
Straight from the creator and artist, Christian Weston Chandler (myself), you may now request a Fresh full-colored hand-drawn and colored artwork with Non-Offensive subject matters directly. NO LOCAL PICKUP AVAILABLE, at the Personal Risk of myself, the Original Creator and Artist.

<nowiki>***</nowiki>Included in this set of The Works are Lamination of the piece for helping it last a lot longer. A personal hand-written Certificate of Authenticity directly from me, the artist. And a lovely picture frame. All in all, it all is very well worth it.

<nowiki>***</nowiki>Note: the artworks in the photos are Sample Pieces, previously commissioned to select others before today, June 30, 2014, and those particular pieces are Not available for individual sale, as the original pieces have already been shipped to their respective owners who paid in full as well.

<nowiki>****</nowiki>When purchasing, please state your Non-Offensive drawing request in the Message either beforehand, or during upon checkout in the message block via PayPal. Please properly checkout through this listing here on eBay. Do Not make your requests anywhere outside of eBay. I reserve the right to issue a refund should I feel the subject matter of the request to be offensive upon reading it. Thank you.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>ONLY on Commission Purchases, I am offering Text Messaging updates. Should you purchase a commission job from me, I will personally extend an offer to you individually and request your number if you would like Texting Updates.}}

Chris posted six samples of his work, which he claimed were already sold, as examples of his craftsmanship. A [[July 25, 2014 Leaks|conversation with an anonymous male friend]] reveals that Chris had produced these commissions for a select few during the previous month. Presumably this success inspired him to go public.

<center><gallery>
File:Chris Commissions 1.JPG|Who shot that gun?
File:Chris Commissions 2.JPG|I gave that drunk "king" the what-for!!
File:Chris Commissions 3.JPG|[[Rosechu]] and some other recolor
File:Chris Commissions 4.JPG|A comedy masterpiece
File:Chris Commissions 5.JPG|Some bullshit, who cares
File:Chris Commissions 6.JPG|Fruit or dinosaur words
</gallery></center>

==Questions and Answers==
{{quoteboxred|
I was looking into buying a picture commission and I am wondering why the price differences between all three? It's a $50 difference between B and W and a colored commission and then another $50 between a color commission without a frame and one with one. I could essentially buy a colored commission without a frame and then buy a nice $10 one at walmart and have the $200 sale at $160. Did you make the frames?? Is that why it's so expensive? Or are the frames such good quality that they've costed you $40-50? I'm not dissing on your sales, I'm just pointing out something I noticed. I think you'd sell more pictures with frames if you charged maybe $160 instead of $200.}}

{{quotebox|
Firstly, it is the Time and Detail, Heart and Soul, that goes more greatly into the coloured commissions. More time is definitely needed in the coloured commissions. And then in the best offer, there is the Certificate which I personally sign and date, and I laminate the drawings. The frames vary on which is available from 10 to 50 at the time and circumstances locally at my end.}}

{{quoteboxred|
If the quality of the art isn't that good, can the customer get a refund of their money?}}

{{quotebox|
No refunds.}}

{{quoteboxred|
Hi Mr. Chandler,

I want to buy one of your pieces as a gift to my girlfriend [omitted] who is a big fan of your works. We are two girls dating so obviously she was very excited about three characters being L B and T, Cera Christine and Robbie. Since she is also obsessed with prom planning, I thought a good picture for her would be to order one of those characters in a cute dress with their prom date.

But after finishing the comic, I realize Sandy is the only girl around their age so the other two (who didn't get Sandy) would not have dates. As I want the drawing to be canon ([omitted] is super into stuff being canon), I was wondering who in your internal universe the Sonichu and Rosechu siblings would all take to the prom before I order the picture just to be sure she would like it.

Sorry if this seems like a weird request, I just want to be a really good girlfriend and $150 is a lot of money for me on my mom's VISA.

Thank you in advance for your consideration.}}

{{quotebox|
That is Really Sweet and Awesome! Let me think... Last I wrote, Christine had a crush on a Jewish boy, pre-evolved. I had not made up anyone for Cera or Robbie yet, but they both would go out with girls, most definitely. Christine is the Bi. I have just checked, and the Jewish boy dumps her; Christine was devastated. Then she was attracted to her lesbian best friend, Karen Lyon, who took her back to her place eventually and totally went Tribbing on her! Then she hooks up with Benjamin Matthews with everything; after that with him, she realized herself as a Bisexual. Cera really likes this Chinese girl, Cassandra Kinsley. Those are who they all go to the Prom with.

You may pay for the $100 color commission; no frame, laminate or certificate, but with my current offer, you get a second commission or a medallion of your choice for Free...}}

Several customers made the decision to fork over money for personalized artwork by Chris. The finished masterpieces are shown here.

==Untitled, dated 7/6/2014==
For this work, the recipient (Trickie[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/rosechus-story.3444/page-45#post-495889])asked Chris to draw a scene from her comic, "Rosechu's Story." Her response to Chris's effort: "I'm pretty happy with basically everything except for the fact that he forgot that the pokeball is supposed to be opened, which I specifically requested."

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions B 3.jpg|300px]]}}
</center>

<center><gallery>
File:Commissions B 1.jpg|The envelope it came in.
File:Commissions B 2.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Untitled, dated 7/6/2014==
The buyer sent the following request to Chris:

{{quoteboxgreen|
Hey Chris,

For my commission I would like a collage of my favorite wrestler, Rob Van Dam, drawn in your signature style with a special Sonichu spin to the designs on RVD's clothes. I would like one part of the picture to be RVD making this pose http://i.imgur.com/aZVfrfo.jpg, another part to be RVD holding this briefcase http://i.imgur.com/xCSHEr0.jpg and the last part to be Chibi RVD http://i.imgur.com/3YtG5hX.jpg, all with that Sonichu spin. I am sure you can make this all come together!}}

This was followed up by correspondence:

{{quotebox|
Your number has been registered, and I will keep you updated. Rest assured, I promise not to share your number with anyone. Thank you. I have your suggest images, plus an idea in my mind and a magazine and newspaper for background portions.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|
Great, I trust your creativity to fill in any blanks!}}

{{quotebox|
I have completed the piece. The story I came up for it is chibi Ron is the son; he gets picked on at school. "Wah! Wah! The kids bullyme! I want to go to a theme park and laugh at the freak clowns there. Wah! Wah!" Papa Rob and his honey are being abused like as they were "Mr. Money in the Bank"; what trouble for the parents. It will be complimentary laminated to keep the portions secure on the pieces on the back card stock paper. I will ship it to you tomorrow.}}

The result is one of the most surreal and autistic works Chris has ever produced. What it means is anyone's guess; his description offers little help. Chris made sure to scribble over the offensive torsos of the wrestlers and Chibi with black marker. The drawing came covered with [[Hair|hair]] of unknown origin.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions C 2.jpg|450px]]}}
</center>

<center><gallery>
File:Commissions C 1.jpg|lots of hair
</gallery></center>

==Untitled, dated 7/6/2014==
A Japanese industrial/noise/experimental band called L'eclipse Nue (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Leclipse-Nue/189265644421174?pnref=story) commissioned Chris to produce the cover to their album "Negative." The album was released in February 2015.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Negative.jpg|350px]]}}
</center>

==Untitled, dated 7/10/2014==
The buyer asked for a picture of "[[Collosal Chan|Colossal-chan]] and [[Mitch Sonichu]] staring down with CWC as the referee."

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions A.jpg|400px]]}}
</center>

==Untitled, dated 7/10/2014==
The recipient asked for a picture of "CWC shaking hands with [[Clyde Cash]]."

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions H.jpg|350px]]}}
</center>

==Untitled, dated 7/13/2014==
The recipient explained, "I asked for Sonichu and Chris to be fighting Clyde, [[Asperchu]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickel suit]], and [[Liquid Chris|Brown shirted imposter]], with [[Megan Schroeder|Meg]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|MLW]], and [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]] watching. Chris isn't good at following instructions."

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions D 3.jpg|350px]]}}
</center>

<center><gallery>
File:Commissions D 1.jpg|The envelope it came in
</gallery></center>

=="Boy's Night Out at Cheers with Jugs," dated 7/20/2014==
The buyer's request: "About the commission, I would like these three fine gentlemans: http://i.imgur.com/hvmiqKf.jpg in a bar full of only gentlemen. And somewhere in the background I would also like Christian Weston Chandler to also be in this gentleman's bar. Again this is a gentleman's bar, only for men to go to, not gay, kind of like a "Boy's Night Out". And adding a few small talk between the gentlemen in the picture would be great! Thanks Chris!"

Drawings received a certificate and title only if they were the $200 version, or if they were for a repeat customer.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions F 1.jpg|350px]]}}
</center>

<center><gallery>
File:Commissions F 2.jpg|The certificate of authenticity.
</gallery></center>

==Three Untitled Drawings, dated 7/21/2014==
The buyer made the following request:
{{quoteboxred|
For this commission, I would really like to see [[Rosechu]] (with her lightning sword) and [[Ultra Sonichu]] in a friendly pokemon battle. The battle has been going on for a while, and they've been really going at it and giving it their all, and the arena has been torn up quite a bit with rubble lying around and scorch marks on the ground.

I want it to look as though Ultra Sonichu might have the upper hand, but Rosechu is trying to find a way to turn the tables on him.

Incidentally, who do you think would win in a fight between Ultra Sonichu and Rosechu? Sonichu is pretty powerful, but I think Rosechu might be resourceful enough to win. I'd be interested to hear your take.}}

The following correspondence ensued.
{{quotebox|
Send me your payment, I will debate that statistically in my mind and you will find out in the piece.}}

{{quoteboxred|
I'm sorry, but I'm not sure what "you will find out in the piece" means? Are you going to include a separate note saying who would win? Or are you planning to show which one wins in the piece itself?

Glad the payment and the email got to you alright. Thanks again. ^__^}}

{{quotebox|
In the piece itself.}}

{{quoteboxred|
Oh, so that means you're going to change the picture to show one of them winning instead?}}

{{quotebox|
No, it will be a subtle hint. I will tell you directly after I have thought about it.}}

Chris sent three illustrations. They arrived with a handwritten explanation of the art:

{{quotebox|
Hey [omitted],

I have given the matter a Lot of thought, and I ended up drawing a three-piece set for you (a bonus, considering lack of background for Classic Pokemon Battle Style). I felt it a mismatch to pit Super Vs. Regular initially, so I took creative license to make Super and Ultimate Fury into Mega Evolutions for the turn-based gaming format. Also, taking a tip from ScrewAttack's Vegeta Vs. Shadow & Mario Vs. Sonic "Death Battle" episodes (on YouTube) to figure which Mega Evo. Form would last longer, and who could stand battling the other longer... Chaos Object Energy doesn't last as long as a woman's scorn, and considerably finds the end result in reasonable theory. But I would not see death to either anyway, because the Primes, Sonichu & Rosechu, are Not only Sweethearts and Married with Children, the couple are Best Friends with each other. You care, feel, understand and have true compassion for the other;... I would not want to hurt them in the least.

Do you understand?

Have a good day.

Christian W. Chandler}}

<center><gallery>
File:Commissions E 1.jpg
File:Commissions E 2.jpg
File:Commissions E 3.jpg
File:Commissions E 4.jpg|The included handwritten note
</gallery></center>

==Untitled, dated 7/24/2014==
Why, it's [[Wikipedia:ALF (TV series)|ALF]] and his girlfriend Rhonda from Melmac!

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions 14.jpg|450px]]}}
</center>

==Untitled, dated 7/29/2014==
The customer requested a drawing of his fursona. While he supplied a picture of only the dragon's head, Chris came through with the entire animal. The buyer provided further details and appraisals in a video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5HFzNUQREQ.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commission X.jpg|300px]]}}
</center>

=="*A Camera From Memory*," dated 11/28/2014==
The purchaser ordered this for a friend, a photographer. He told Chris he could draw anything related to photography.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions 10.jpg|400px]]}}
</center>

==The Flufflehugs Commissions==
{{quote|Do you really like to lick pussy? Take your time imagining and thinking before you answer.|Chris to his eBay customer Flufflehugs.}}

In late September 2014, the True and Honest fan known as "Flufflehugs" created an original character named Mimi Rosechu, and asked Chris if he would be willing to include her in a commission.

{{quoteboxred|
Would you consider this fan character to be offensive?
[[File:Flufflehugs Commission G.jpg|thumb]]
}}

Chris replied:

{{quotebox|
Wow! Not only do I find that Not Offensive, but it REALLY TURNS ME ON! Please pay me to draw that for you! If pay me the $100 to draw her in color, you can get your choice of a second color commission or a Sonichu or Rosechu [[Medallion]] for Free.
}}

Flufflehugs decided to order two colored comic pages in addition to a medallion. She told Chris her commission could be of whatever he wanted as long as her original character was included. Some time later, she placed a second order of two black-and-white comic pages about [[Homos#Chris the lesbian|male lesbians]]. One month went by, and she had not yet received any of the pages. He sent her a series of excuses.

{{quotebox|
Dear [omitted],

I'm sorry for the delays. I am working on medallions right now, and I am waiting for $80 to be released into my PayPal from stuff I shipped out last Friday to be delivered. I have had a Lot of stressful situations happen to me. I will draw All of your pages today, and ship them out with the medals this week. Thank you for your patience.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I apologize again for the delay, but I will be drawing your comic pages today and shipping them out tomorrow. I am making it a four-page comic, where both sets of your requests will be linked. Have a great and safe day. :)

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I think I've overestimated my mood. I promise to have your four page comic request sent by Wednesday. I apologize again. And, please, do leave positive feedback for me after you get the drawings.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

On 4 November he sent her an update:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

Progress report of the comic pages; I have drawn two of the pages; full-page drawings. The story idea of beginning with the conversation between me and [[Robbie Sonichu]], leading to him meeting Mimi Rosechu, and enjoying a conversation and a cup of coffee with her is in my memory. But unfortunately, what to Write for dialogue has escaped me. I will think this further at rest, and try to complete the dialogue and drawings tomorrow. I have something else to ship out on Friday as well, so I will try to have your drawings completed at best by then.

I sincerely apologize. I have been under my own deal of stress and mental quandaries lately.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Chris finally admitted that he could not complete her commission as she had requested, but hoped that she could accept his half-assed effort.

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I am a woman soul in the male body. I am not psycho or manipulative. I am afraid I could not come up with extensive dialogue for the pages, but I have one page with me and Robbie Sonichu, and two with Mimi and Robbie; all each with a lesbian joke. And I am drawing a single piece of Mimi Rosechu for you. The piece will be laminated and certified, with my compliments, to make up for the wait and lack of better dialogue. You will be pleased, I hope.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

On 13 November Flufflehugs received her commissions:

<center><gallery>
File:Flufflehugs Commission A.jpg|envelope
File:Flufflehugs Commission B.jpg|commission description
File:Flufflehugs Commission C.jpg|a desperate plea
File:Set1pic2.jpg
File:Set1pic3.jpg
File:Set1pic4.jpg
File:Set1pic1.jpg
File:Set1pic1back.png
</gallery></center>

Of course, this was not what Flufflehugs had requested. She had asked for two colored comic pages which incorporated her original character, and two black-and-white comic pages about male lesbians. However, Chris had failed to think of any dialogue for the comics, so instead he sent three colored pages of bad lesbian jokes and a laminated and certified color illustration of her original character. She expressed her dissatisfaction to Chris.

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

Well, I do apologize for lack of better dialogue in the pages. I came up mostly blank. But hey, things got good between Mimi and Robbie. And you have a Certified Drawing of Mimi herself. Plus, among the conversations between Lesbian Transwomen, they would share a joke or two.

I Have Been Under a Lot of [[Stress]]! Please, give me a break. I Need the positive feedback to get my seller label back up to Standard, for better chance for eBay releasing my total funds into my PayPal account, and I need that money to pay my bills an whatnot.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Flufflehugs requested that either she be allowed to return the four pages and allow him to try again, or that he refund her money. He gave a two-part reply:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I can not afford to issue a refund. Let me think it further, and I will make another attempt very soon. Please, keep what I have already sent you, and leave positive feedback.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I will get them thought up and drawn ASAP; I will try for over this weekend.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Concerned about further delays, Flufflehugs kept in touch with Chris. On 18 November he wrote:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I am starting to draw them; I will try to base them between the pages I sent you already. All I have right now for dialogue beginning is "There's a sale at JCPenny; half of discount on dresses." And right now, my mind has gone blank from stress and being tired. I am sorry. I will try to have them completed by Friday.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

And two days later:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

I am working on it. My brain just gave out. Here, have a look.

-jesusguidesme2
[[File:Flufflehugs Commission D.png|left|thumb]][[File:Flufflehugs Commission E.png|left|thumb]]
}}

Inspired by [[September 2014 Facebook Posts|recent revelations]], Flufflehugs asked Chris if he would consider drawing a picture depicting tribadism. She also asked him to explain what the act consists of. He replied on 22 November:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

Drawing something so graphic and nude would be a whole other and new Commission Order, and in the Full $100 Colored Commission Price.

And Tribadism is not all that difficult to understand, really. There is a page on the Wikipedia on the subject. And in short, it is where the two women stimulate each other's clitoris simultaneously, more likely by rubbing them with their own clitoris, or with the labia. The clit is amazing at being a sensitive and short yet protrusive part. The female Bonobo monkeys have quite extensive clitoris, and the lesbian Bonobos find their own good times with each other very much.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Four days later, Chris announced that he was finally finished with her commission and was shipping it that day. But then, out of the blue, he asked his eBay customer [[Honest Content|a rather jarring question]]:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

As for what I wanted to ask you about, I really want to become more sex-positive (the alternate term for a slut) and I would like some advice and tips for approaching, talking and flirting with women, like a lesbian. Do you have some advice or tips or do you know any sex positive lesbians there in [omitted] who can help? Thank you.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

Flufflehugs responded that she was bisexual, and asked him about [[Chris and health#Exercise|exercise]], [[Chris and health#Nutrition|diet]], and [[Chris and fashion|fashion]]. Chris gave a two-part reply:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],
To answer your questions: I exercise daily with walking for more than a half hour, and I eat twice a day instead of three. My main choices are colored leggings, denim skirts mini to knee length, bold colored shirts and blouses. I could use a shopping day with my sweetheart. Approaching women by autistic default, I am still transitioning out from Really Shy. [[Mia Hamm|The last time I had sex]], it was basic, and it was April of 2012.

And the snow here today, along with lack of shipping tape is delaying the shipping up to Friday now. I have completed your pages; mostly dialogue.

-jesusguidesme2
}}
{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],
Also, are you Positive you're totally a BiSexual woman? My sweetheart realized recently that [[China|pussy]] puts her off mildly, and a woman friend of mine felt the same way in her own realization of the same as well. Do you really like to lick pussy? Take your time imagining and thinking before you answer.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

For some reason, by 28 November he still had not shipped her order. By this time it was clear that he intended to send her three colored comic pages instead of the two colored and two black-and-white pages she had paid for. Consequently, she asked for the tribadism page at no extra charge. He relented.

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],
I have just wrapped your pages and am ready to ship them out. Very well, since I am also asking for your input on the flirting and all, I will draw Robbie and Mimi having a Tribbing over the weekend for you. And the pages I have just drawn for you were also meant to sync with the three drawings I had drawn for you earlier, so you ended up with a six page piece.

The tracking number is [omitted].

Have a good day.
}}

On 1 December, she received the first three comic pages. Out of curiosity, she asked Chris if his recent coming out had had an impact on Comic Chris and other Sonichu characters. He replied:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],
To answer your questions, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], my fictions twin sister, is STILL a straight woman, nothing different from before, and she is supportive of the LGBTQ rights as well.

[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|My comic person]] is the same as I am right now as well, and since the transformations are of one in the same with me, they Are as well.

Additionally, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Reldnahc]] remains the same for himself as well; nothing has changed whatsoever about him either.

I have shipped your Tribbing request yesterday. I felt it would be a fun surprise for you.

Please, wait until January before making any more commission purchases. As I have stated in my recent facebook post, I wish to complete as many medallion requests as possible by next Wednesday, as we are expected to be moving back in within the next couple of weeks.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

On 9 December, she finally received the tribadism page, completing her order. In the image, Robbie was depicted with breasts (but no nipples), and he was wearing an unusual red belt-like object around his waist. Flufflehugs requested an explanation of the mechanics of male lesbian sex. He replied on 17 December:

{{EmailReply|
Dear [omitted],

To answer your questions; her clit gets rubbed against [[un-clit|his skin down there]]. He got some doctor-recommended Hormone Replacement Therapy with estrogens, the Breasts came naturally through that. That is a strap-on accessory, which would hold a removable dildo within the ring on the front. Robbie is wearing that to keep his [[duck|ugly growth (penis)]] inside of himself so it does not get in the way while they enjoyed the Tribbing.

-jesusguidesme2
}}

So in the end, Flufflehugs received a total of eight color pictures, for a total cost of $150 dollars.

{{gallery
|The last four commissions. Probably not safe for work.
|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Set2Pic1.jpg
File:Set2Pic2.jpg
File:Set2Pic3.jpg
File:Set2Pic4.jpg
</gallery>}}

==Untitled, dated 6/24/2015==
This is a portrait of the recipient, who writes: "She used my FB profile pic for it but I said to use any artistic license she wanted. I think she did the face and hair from the pic, but the rest is without reference and I think it's genuinely one of CWC's better pieces of art, the hands are cool, she got my hair right, the whole thing is so clearly drawn by CWC , but I think she put in some real effort with it!"<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/fan-art-thread.36/page-64#post-966208]]</ref>

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions 11.png|300px]]}}
</center>

=="Do Not Touch My Behind," Dated 9/27/2015==
The buyer made the following request:

{{quoteboxgreen|Did the payment come through ok? This was my first time using Paypal.
Also, I saw that my last few messages contained spelling errors and missing
words. So, I just want to clarify how I want the drawing to look
like.

1. It takes place in the Cwcville Mall Food Court.

2. Trunks should be drawn as he appears in Dragonball GT.
Use that pic I sent you for reference.

3.Robee's girlfriend is sitting at a table with food on it. Robee is standing up because me and Trunks came up to her to talk to her.

4. I want Robee's TRUE AND HONEST reaction to my hand being on her butt(very important that you draw my hand there.) After I asked her(Robee, not her girlfriend) out.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to seeing that drawing. Hopefully it will be in comic book format. I hope....}}

Chris replied:

{{quotebox|Your payment went through fully and successful. I will have your drawing in a comic-style as my past pieces. And, like me, having a male's hand on her butt, and not feeling comfortable, but tolerant, with their presence and such a gesture... I'm just telling you honestly. Thank you.}}

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions 12.jpg|550px]]}}

{{quotebox|[[File:Commissions 12B.jpg|thumb|200px|The certificate of authenticity.]]}}
</center>

==Untitled, Dated 10/6/2015==
This is the vocaloid [[Wikipedia:Kagamine Rin/Len|Len Kagamine]]. Chris forgot to color one of the arms.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Commissions 13C.jpg|400px]]}}

<gallery>
File:Commissions 13B.jpg|The envelope it came in.
File:Commissions 13A.jpg|[[Wild Sonichu]] sticker.
</gallery></center>

=="Sonichu Family's Slice of Life," Dated 11/19/2015==
The buyer requested the [[Sonichu]] family watching [[My Little Pony]] on TV in their living room.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:''Sonichu Family's ''Slice of Life''.jpg|450px]]}}
</center>

=="Bubbles Gets Roses," Dated 11/19/2015==
The buyer asked for [[Bubbles Rosechu]] in red lipstick kissing [[Blake]] Sonichu, who's happy, dizzy, and lovestruck after giving her a big bouquet of flowers.

<center>
{{quotebox|
[[File:Bubbles Gets Roses.jpg|450px]]}}
</center>

==Donation listing drawings==
A generous donor posted images of her received character drawing and the filthy envelope it came in. She requested an illustration of "Rosechu waving to the viewer and looking cute."<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/september-2-2015-chris-moves-to-etsy-suggests-donating-to-book-11-and-beyond.12280/page-9#post-961846]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:DonationA.jpg
File:DonationB.jpg
File:DonationC.jpg
</gallery></center>

Another donor requested a sketch of a character dressed in lolita fashion. Chris chose [[Zapina]]:

[[File:DonationE.jpg|thumb|center|200px]]

Another fan requested a drawing of a fan character who was "a big fan of Sonichu and a proud homosexual male." For absolutely no reason at all, Chris chose a Garfield theme:

[[File:DonationD.png|thumb|200px|center|"I make money off of the lasagna I eat!"]]

Yet another fan got a picture of Silvana and Magi-Chan being cute together:

[[File:DonationF.jpg|thumb|200px|center]]

Sonichu seems to be [[stress|stressed]], possibly because Chris drew this the week of his [[26 December 2014|conviction]].

[[File:DonationG.jpg|thumb|200px|center]]

Sonichu, [[Inos]], and what appears to be Spike from My Little Pony if he were a [[Pokémon/Swampert|Swampert]].

[[File:November2015donation.jpg|300px|center]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Template:BusinessList}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:EBay]]

Sonichu 2

2017-02-06T10:33:06Z

RedVine01: /* Gallery */

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #2
| cover = SchuComic3Cover.jpg
| coverdate = 24 April 2005
| finishedcomic = 3 May 2005
| pagecount = 45
| episodes = 7-9
| sub-episodes = 3
| previous = [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]
| next = [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]
}}
'''''Sonichu #2''''' is the third [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. This is where the comic begins to focus mostly on [[Chris]], with [[Sonichu]] as a side character.

This issue introduces one of the bigger MacGuffins in Sonichu canon, the "Anchuent Prophecy" that by predicting future events, somehow also causes them to inexplicably occur. Having addressed Sonic and the introduction of Black Sonichu in the previous issue, Chris's next urgent business is to get down to addressing his feelings from his awkward love triangle with [[Sarah Hammer]] and [[Wes Iseli]], via this trilogy in which they turn into furries and are forced to team up to attack a giant monster. Note that Chris completed this entire issue in under two weeks--a blistering pace compared to his later efforts--suggesting that his heart was most into his work when he was using it to talk about himself.

By the end of ''Sonichu'' #2, both [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]] are firmly established as the primary villains of the series... at least until the trolls show up.

==Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"==
{{-}}
{{Resources
| title =Anchuent Prophecy
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.512047658889718.1073741828.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 7''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_1 ''Episode 7''
| videobook =Sonichu_2_Official_Videobook#Episode_7{{!}}''Episode 7''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic3P1.htm ''Episode 7''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiBcsQ6dx4w&index=9&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 7''}}
[[Image:Chrisansestore.jpg|thumb|left|Cherokees often look like white mutant children in Roman body armour.]]
[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] is zapping to the extreme in a field somewhere near [[CWCville]] when he discovers a strange rock formation. The largest of the three rocks has a cave-like opening, with the other two rocks in front of it. Sonichu notices a hedgehog-looking insignia on one of the smaller rocks and pauses to read its inscription: "Only the Creature, and his Master, of the Prophecy may enter the Destiny Cave."

Just then, the other rock is revealed to actually be a mysterious old man, who explains that he is the [[Keeper of the Destiny Cave]]. He instantly recognizes Sonichu as the Creature of the Prophecy, and explains that Sonichu's true original creator can enter the Destiny Cave to unlock a special power. Sonichu zaps back home to tell this to [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian]], who inexplicably then tells it back to him. They then leave for the cave.

Here they learn the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] of the [[Cherokian Clan]], which tells of how the clan's [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|leader]] would be reincarnated as someone who "gives birth" to an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. This reincarnated chieftain would then come to the Destiny Cave and release the powers of his past life, as well as the powers of his [[Queen of the Cherokian Clan|queen]] and [[Wasabi Rival|rival]]. The reincarnations of these three people would receive their released powers, allowing them to transform into Electric Hedgehog Pokémon to battle an ancient evil that was inadvertently released by Sonichu's discovery of the cave.

Deciding that he will need the ancient powers to defeat the ancient evil, Christian fulfills the Anchuent Prophecy by place in his homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] on an ancient pedestal in the ancient center of the ancient cave. As the Keeper says the magic words ''"Anoz aelc amulp oerc ikabmol ah ah!"'' the medallion levitates and returns to Chris's neck, causing him to experience a vision. Chris speaks with his past self, who was in life Christian's identical-looking [[Cherokee]] great-great-grandfather, who is blue-eyed and clad in Roman armor. This ancestor warns Chris that his rival will try to fight him, but his [[gal pal|lady friend]] will show up to help.

Christian tries out his new powers, and when he awakes from the vision he finds he has been transformed into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], an electric hedgehog that almost looks like [[Sonic the Hedgehog|a blue version of Sonichu]]. Chris-Chan is pleased by this development, but Sonichu is disturbed and asks that they both zap out of the cave.

Elsewhere, mystic energies rain down upon the homes of [[Wes Iseli]] and [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah Hammer]], delivering enchanted totems of ancient power...

===Advertisement 1===
The makers of [[AXE]] purchase an ad with a highly revealing message to consumers: smell so great, it's almost like you bathed!
{{-}}

==Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Chaos & Serenity"==
{{Resources
| title =Chaos & Serenity
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.512047658889718.1073741828.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 8''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_10 ''Episode 8''
| videobook =Sonichu_2_Official_Videobook#Episode_8{{!}}''Episode 8''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic3P6.htm ''Episode 8''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv62ZwySiL8&index=10&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 8''}}
[[Wes Iseli]] experiences a vision very similar to Christian's, in which he meets his past self, a member of the [[Wasabi Clan]], naturally wearing a robe and wizard hat. Just as the Cherokee leader had said, his Wasabi rival is only concerned with their old grudge and instructs Wes to use the power of the Fireshock Pendant to seek revenge against Christian. Since Chris was once jealous of Wes, this provides the perfect impetus for Wes to want to kill Chris, so he accepts this mission and transforms into the orange Wes-Li Sonichu, and undergoes training during his vision.
[[File:But in the stone age.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation.]]
[[Sarah Hammer]] also experiences a vision, wherein she meets the [[Queen of the Cherokee Clan]]. The Queen tells Sarah that she must use her Lightning Bracelets to bring serenity to the other hedgehogs of the prophecy, whom she does not identify for some reason. Sarah transforms into Saramah Rosechu and also trains to use her newfound powers.

Instead of receiving training from his ancestor, Chris-Chan Sonichu has been instructed in the use of his powers by Sonichu. The only thing they can't figure out is how to change Chris-Chan back to Christian Chandler, until Sonichu gives his father an awkward pat on the chest. By touching the pattern in Chris-Chan's fur shaped like his medallion, Sonichu accidentally changes Christian back to normal. Unfortunately, this has left Christian vulnerable, as Wes-Li has arrived to destroy him. Saramah is not far off, but will not arrive in time to prevent the fight.

Chris and Sonichu are able to avoid Wes-Li's initial attacks, until the orange hedgehog reveals himself as the rival foretold in the prophecy. Once Chris realizes that Wes-Li is Wes Iseli, they stop fighting long enough to air their grievances, little realizing that Saramah is eavesdropping. Chris admits he was jealous for Sarah, while Wes-Li rambles on about the coveted [[Cherokian crown]]. Saramah is, of course, awed and elated by Chris's jealousy. Wes-Li finally resumes the battle, but Christian counters (completely inexplicably) with ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, which buys him time to transform back into Chris-Chan. The two furries trade uninspired anime attacks until Wes-Li lands a Sky Uppercut to Chris-Chan's chin, allowing Wes-Li to obtain the Cherokian crown, which materialized out of nowhere immediately prior.

Before Wes-Li can finish Chris off, Saramah finally bothers to intervene, shooting arrows into Wes-Li's body that pin him against a non-sacred tree.

===Advertisement 2===
Sonichu appears with a milk-mustache, to support the [[Wikipedia:California_Milk_Processor_Board|California Milk Processor Board]].

==Episode 9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in "The Evil that Stomped CWCville"==
{{Resources
| title =The Evil that Stomped CWCville
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.512047658889718.1073741828.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 9''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_25 ''Episode 9''
| videobook =Sonichu_2_Official_Videobook#Episode_9{{!}}''Episode 9''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic3P13.htm ''Episode 9''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unEb4N9S08s&list=PL12A55E9C82971031&index=11 ''Episode 9''}}
Having saved Chris-Chan's ass, Saramah returns to him the Cherokian crown that he didn't own in the first place. She then reads the riot act to Wes-Li, allowing him and Chris-Chan to recognize that she is Sarah Hammer. Outraged over the way Wes-Li has treated her bestest friend ever, Saramah yanks her lightning arrows right out of his chest, and breaks up with him on the spot. Wes-Li cries and pouts until Saramah reminds the trio of their duty to stop the prophesied evil.

Chris-Chan, Wes-Li, and Saramah battle Count Graduon. Sarah breaks up with Wes, but then turns around and cockblocks Chris as well. Just then Sonichu reappears for the first time in, like, a week to tell Chris-Chan that [[Rosechu]] called to say a rock monster is attacking CWCville. Chris sends Sonichu on ahead, and Saramah uses her powers to levitate the others in floating bubbles.

Meanwhile, in CWCville, it is apparent that the giant golem monster is being directed by Christian's old nemesis [[Mary Lee Walsh]], riding a broom and armed with a scepter possessed by an ancient spirit. The spirit gloats that, despite having been imprisoned for centuries by the Cherokian and Wasabi clans, he will have his revenge and rule the world. When the hedgehogs arrive, Saramah asks for Chris-Chan's opinion based on his familiarity with the city. Chris's answer has nothing to do with that; he vaguely suggests that large monsters always have weak knees (which is just a throwaway gag from an episode of ''[[Excel Saga]]'', which made a lot more sense in context). Wes-Li is thoroughly depressed by Saramah breaking up with him, and is utterly useless. Chris, who would '''never''' surrender to self-pity, gives Wes-Li a pep talk.

All this time, Rosechu has been spending Sonichu's hard-earned money at CWCville Mall instead of defending her city and home. She stands around hoping Sonichu and Chris-Chan will be all right, because being a female she cannot possibly be of any real assistance.

[[Image:SchuComic3Page32.jpg|thumb|left|In this panel, Saramah and Wes-Li attack the golem while Chris-Chan smokes a massive joint.]]

The three Electric Hedgehogs employ a three-pronged attack, completely disregarding Chris's prior idea of focusing on the knees. Their combined forces stagger the golem, and Chris leads them in their Team Blast maneuver, the Blue Fireball Attack, for the win. With the golem destroyed, they face down Mary Lee Walsh, but she elects to retreat while the talking scepter casually introduces itself as the ancient evil, [[Count Graduon]]. Sonichu finally shows up, having arrived too late for his entire self-titled series, although he has Rosechu in tow, suggesting he stopped off for a quickie on the way. The three prophesied hedgehogs revert to their human states and Chris summons a cab to take them back to his mayoral office.

Later, in Chris's bedroom, he and Sarah discuss their adventure and catch up on old times. Chris spies [[china|an opening]] now that Wes is out of the picture, and it just so happens Sarah is thinking about a new man in her life... named [[William Spicer|William]].

In a coda to this issue, Chris dedicates the story to the real life Sarah Hammer, his best friend in the whole wide world. Judging from the tribute page, he doesn't seem to know anything about her beyond age ten.

===Dedication Page===
Chris gives the short, short-version of ''[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]'' in a single page dedication.
{{-}}

==Sub-Episode 3: Christian Chandler & Sonichu in "Witch Confront"==
{{Resources
| title =Witch Confront
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.512047658889718.1073741828.100002534669114&type=3 ''Sub-Episode 3''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_37 ''Sub-Episode 3''
| videobook =Sonichu_2_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode 3{{!}}''Sub-Episode 3''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic3P19.htm ''Sub-Episode 3''}}
This story is an expanded, redrawn version of the 18 March [[2004]] comic strip seen in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' 0]].

Following her brief, unexplained appearances in Episode 9, Christian's narration quickly gives [[Mary Lee Walsh]] a proper introduction, explaining that she tore up his [[Attraction Sign]], shattered his [[heart level|heart]], and hurt his soul in the early months of his [[Love Quest]]. He resolves that Mary Lee must be stopped before she hurts others.

Despite his [[ancestor]] advising him to use his powers responsibly to protect innocents, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] commences an unprovoked invasion of Mary Lee Walsh's office at the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], while she is stirring some potion in a boiling cauldron. Chris-Chan makes a token effort to suggest he's here for the safety of the public, but it's obvious he's just avenging Christian Weston Chandler. Walsh mocks Chris-Chan's corny old [[Sailor Moon]] poses and attacks him with dark magic, but Chris-Chan counters with Thunderbolt, Double Team, and Mirror Coat.

Seeing that their magical attacks are too evenly matched for her to gain the upper hand, Walsh invites Chris to hand-to-hand combat. Chris assures us he's never hit a woman (since women are weak and stupid), but since she's asking for it, he strikes her with a Mach Punch. The blow from a super-powered hedgehog doesn't faze her, however, and she responds with a kick to the crotch. Chris-Chan tries a Mega Kick, but, Walsh strikes him with her pitchfork and somehow presses his transformation spot without completely impaling him.

Chris reverts back to human form and lays prone on the ground, as Mary Lee Walsh puts two and two together: Chris-Chan Sonichu is secretly Christian Weston Chandler. Having shattered his heart, defeated him battle, and discovered his secret identity, Walsh decides there's nothing left to do but kill Christian. Before the final blow is struck, however, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] intervenes, revealing that he has been watching the whole time in case his father needed help. Christian quickly recovers and together they deliver their final attack. As Walsh cackles maniacally, Chris casts [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] while Sonichu uses Thunder; the combined energy appears to destroy Mary Lee, as she screams into oblivion. Or does she...?

===Back Cover===
In the original releases of ''Sonichu'' #2, the back cover featured a personal army request from CWC, where he asks his fans to start a grass-roots campaign to get [[Nintendo]] to recognize and embrace the ''Sonichu'' franchise.

In the CWCipedia version, however, the back cover message has been replaced with the ad for ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]''.

==Gallery==
<center>{{collapsible
|Issue 2
|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:SchuComic3Cover.jpg|Cover
Image:AxeAd.jpg|Ad 1
Image:GotMilk.jpg|Ad 2
Image:Sarahhammerdedication.jpg|Dedication Page
File:SchuComic3Page01.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page02.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page03.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page04.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page05.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page06.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page07.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page08.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page09.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page10.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page11.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page12.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page13.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page14.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page15.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page16.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page17.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page18.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page19.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page20.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page21.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page22.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page23.jpg|Lady of peace, shooting boyfriends in the chest.
File:SchuComic3Page24.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page25.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page26.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page27.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page28.jpg
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File:SchuComic3Page30.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page31.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page32.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page33.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page34.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page35.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page36.jpg
Image:SchuComicFreeBack.jpg|Early Back Cover
Image:Sonichu Adventure for Gamecube.jpg|Revised Back Cover
</gallery>}}</center>

==See Also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Comic Collection|linkname=the Sonichu Comic Collection}}
*[[Cherokian Clan]]
*[[Sarah Hammer]]
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]

==External links==
[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBOVJ5WnE2ZzlrZE0 Download this episode as a .zip file]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category: Sonichu comic book issues]]

Sonichu 2

2017-02-06T10:29:59Z

RedVine01: /* Gallery */

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #2
| cover = SchuComic3Cover.jpg
| coverdate = 24 April 2005
| finishedcomic = 3 May 2005
| pagecount = 45
| episodes = 7-9
| sub-episodes = 3
| previous = [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]
| next = [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]
}}
'''''Sonichu #2''''' is the third [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. This is where the comic begins to focus mostly on [[Chris]], with [[Sonichu]] as a side character.

This issue introduces one of the bigger MacGuffins in Sonichu canon, the "Anchuent Prophecy" that by predicting future events, somehow also causes them to inexplicably occur. Having addressed Sonic and the introduction of Black Sonichu in the previous issue, Chris's next urgent business is to get down to addressing his feelings from his awkward love triangle with [[Sarah Hammer]] and [[Wes Iseli]], via this trilogy in which they turn into furries and are forced to team up to attack a giant monster. Note that Chris completed this entire issue in under two weeks--a blistering pace compared to his later efforts--suggesting that his heart was most into his work when he was using it to talk about himself.

By the end of ''Sonichu'' #2, both [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]] are firmly established as the primary villains of the series... at least until the trolls show up.

==Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"==
{{-}}
{{Resources
| title =Anchuent Prophecy
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.512047658889718.1073741828.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 7''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_1 ''Episode 7''
| videobook =Sonichu_2_Official_Videobook#Episode_7{{!}}''Episode 7''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic3P1.htm ''Episode 7''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiBcsQ6dx4w&index=9&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 7''}}
[[Image:Chrisansestore.jpg|thumb|left|Cherokees often look like white mutant children in Roman body armour.]]
[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] is zapping to the extreme in a field somewhere near [[CWCville]] when he discovers a strange rock formation. The largest of the three rocks has a cave-like opening, with the other two rocks in front of it. Sonichu notices a hedgehog-looking insignia on one of the smaller rocks and pauses to read its inscription: "Only the Creature, and his Master, of the Prophecy may enter the Destiny Cave."

Just then, the other rock is revealed to actually be a mysterious old man, who explains that he is the [[Keeper of the Destiny Cave]]. He instantly recognizes Sonichu as the Creature of the Prophecy, and explains that Sonichu's true original creator can enter the Destiny Cave to unlock a special power. Sonichu zaps back home to tell this to [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian]], who inexplicably then tells it back to him. They then leave for the cave.

Here they learn the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] of the [[Cherokian Clan]], which tells of how the clan's [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|leader]] would be reincarnated as someone who "gives birth" to an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. This reincarnated chieftain would then come to the Destiny Cave and release the powers of his past life, as well as the powers of his [[Queen of the Cherokian Clan|queen]] and [[Wasabi Rival|rival]]. The reincarnations of these three people would receive their released powers, allowing them to transform into Electric Hedgehog Pokémon to battle an ancient evil that was inadvertently released by Sonichu's discovery of the cave.

Deciding that he will need the ancient powers to defeat the ancient evil, Christian fulfills the Anchuent Prophecy by place in his homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] on an ancient pedestal in the ancient center of the ancient cave. As the Keeper says the magic words ''"Anoz aelc amulp oerc ikabmol ah ah!"'' the medallion levitates and returns to Chris's neck, causing him to experience a vision. Chris speaks with his past self, who was in life Christian's identical-looking [[Cherokee]] great-great-grandfather, who is blue-eyed and clad in Roman armor. This ancestor warns Chris that his rival will try to fight him, but his [[gal pal|lady friend]] will show up to help.

Christian tries out his new powers, and when he awakes from the vision he finds he has been transformed into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], an electric hedgehog that almost looks like [[Sonic the Hedgehog|a blue version of Sonichu]]. Chris-Chan is pleased by this development, but Sonichu is disturbed and asks that they both zap out of the cave.

Elsewhere, mystic energies rain down upon the homes of [[Wes Iseli]] and [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah Hammer]], delivering enchanted totems of ancient power...

===Advertisement 1===
The makers of [[AXE]] purchase an ad with a highly revealing message to consumers: smell so great, it's almost like you bathed!
{{-}}

==Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Chaos & Serenity"==
{{Resources
| title =Chaos & Serenity
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.512047658889718.1073741828.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 8''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_10 ''Episode 8''
| videobook =Sonichu_2_Official_Videobook#Episode_8{{!}}''Episode 8''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic3P6.htm ''Episode 8''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv62ZwySiL8&index=10&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 8''}}
[[Wes Iseli]] experiences a vision very similar to Christian's, in which he meets his past self, a member of the [[Wasabi Clan]], naturally wearing a robe and wizard hat. Just as the Cherokee leader had said, his Wasabi rival is only concerned with their old grudge and instructs Wes to use the power of the Fireshock Pendant to seek revenge against Christian. Since Chris was once jealous of Wes, this provides the perfect impetus for Wes to want to kill Chris, so he accepts this mission and transforms into the orange Wes-Li Sonichu, and undergoes training during his vision.
[[File:But in the stone age.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation.]]
[[Sarah Hammer]] also experiences a vision, wherein she meets the [[Queen of the Cherokee Clan]]. The Queen tells Sarah that she must use her Lightning Bracelets to bring serenity to the other hedgehogs of the prophecy, whom she does not identify for some reason. Sarah transforms into Saramah Rosechu and also trains to use her newfound powers.

Instead of receiving training from his ancestor, Chris-Chan Sonichu has been instructed in the use of his powers by Sonichu. The only thing they can't figure out is how to change Chris-Chan back to Christian Chandler, until Sonichu gives his father an awkward pat on the chest. By touching the pattern in Chris-Chan's fur shaped like his medallion, Sonichu accidentally changes Christian back to normal. Unfortunately, this has left Christian vulnerable, as Wes-Li has arrived to destroy him. Saramah is not far off, but will not arrive in time to prevent the fight.

Chris and Sonichu are able to avoid Wes-Li's initial attacks, until the orange hedgehog reveals himself as the rival foretold in the prophecy. Once Chris realizes that Wes-Li is Wes Iseli, they stop fighting long enough to air their grievances, little realizing that Saramah is eavesdropping. Chris admits he was jealous for Sarah, while Wes-Li rambles on about the coveted [[Cherokian crown]]. Saramah is, of course, awed and elated by Chris's jealousy. Wes-Li finally resumes the battle, but Christian counters (completely inexplicably) with ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, which buys him time to transform back into Chris-Chan. The two furries trade uninspired anime attacks until Wes-Li lands a Sky Uppercut to Chris-Chan's chin, allowing Wes-Li to obtain the Cherokian crown, which materialized out of nowhere immediately prior.

Before Wes-Li can finish Chris off, Saramah finally bothers to intervene, shooting arrows into Wes-Li's body that pin him against a non-sacred tree.

===Advertisement 2===
Sonichu appears with a milk-mustache, to support the [[Wikipedia:California_Milk_Processor_Board|California Milk Processor Board]].

==Episode 9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in "The Evil that Stomped CWCville"==
{{Resources
| title =The Evil that Stomped CWCville
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.512047658889718.1073741828.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 9''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_25 ''Episode 9''
| videobook =Sonichu_2_Official_Videobook#Episode_9{{!}}''Episode 9''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic3P13.htm ''Episode 9''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unEb4N9S08s&list=PL12A55E9C82971031&index=11 ''Episode 9''}}
Having saved Chris-Chan's ass, Saramah returns to him the Cherokian crown that he didn't own in the first place. She then reads the riot act to Wes-Li, allowing him and Chris-Chan to recognize that she is Sarah Hammer. Outraged over the way Wes-Li has treated her bestest friend ever, Saramah yanks her lightning arrows right out of his chest, and breaks up with him on the spot. Wes-Li cries and pouts until Saramah reminds the trio of their duty to stop the prophesied evil.

Chris-Chan, Wes-Li, and Saramah battle Count Graduon. Sarah breaks up with Wes, but then turns around and cockblocks Chris as well. Just then Sonichu reappears for the first time in, like, a week to tell Chris-Chan that [[Rosechu]] called to say a rock monster is attacking CWCville. Chris sends Sonichu on ahead, and Saramah uses her powers to levitate the others in floating bubbles.

Meanwhile, in CWCville, it is apparent that the giant golem monster is being directed by Christian's old nemesis [[Mary Lee Walsh]], riding a broom and armed with a scepter possessed by an ancient spirit. The spirit gloats that, despite having been imprisoned for centuries by the Cherokian and Wasabi clans, he will have his revenge and rule the world. When the hedgehogs arrive, Saramah asks for Chris-Chan's opinion based on his familiarity with the city. Chris's answer has nothing to do with that; he vaguely suggests that large monsters always have weak knees (which is just a throwaway gag from an episode of ''[[Excel Saga]]'', which made a lot more sense in context). Wes-Li is thoroughly depressed by Saramah breaking up with him, and is utterly useless. Chris, who would '''never''' surrender to self-pity, gives Wes-Li a pep talk.

All this time, Rosechu has been spending Sonichu's hard-earned money at CWCville Mall instead of defending her city and home. She stands around hoping Sonichu and Chris-Chan will be all right, because being a female she cannot possibly be of any real assistance.

[[Image:SchuComic3Page32.jpg|thumb|left|In this panel, Saramah and Wes-Li attack the golem while Chris-Chan smokes a massive joint.]]

The three Electric Hedgehogs employ a three-pronged attack, completely disregarding Chris's prior idea of focusing on the knees. Their combined forces stagger the golem, and Chris leads them in their Team Blast maneuver, the Blue Fireball Attack, for the win. With the golem destroyed, they face down Mary Lee Walsh, but she elects to retreat while the talking scepter casually introduces itself as the ancient evil, [[Count Graduon]]. Sonichu finally shows up, having arrived too late for his entire self-titled series, although he has Rosechu in tow, suggesting he stopped off for a quickie on the way. The three prophesied hedgehogs revert to their human states and Chris summons a cab to take them back to his mayoral office.

Later, in Chris's bedroom, he and Sarah discuss their adventure and catch up on old times. Chris spies [[china|an opening]] now that Wes is out of the picture, and it just so happens Sarah is thinking about a new man in her life... named [[William Spicer|William]].

In a coda to this issue, Chris dedicates the story to the real life Sarah Hammer, his best friend in the whole wide world. Judging from the tribute page, he doesn't seem to know anything about her beyond age ten.

===Dedication Page===
Chris gives the short, short-version of ''[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]'' in a single page dedication.
{{-}}

==Sub-Episode 3: Christian Chandler & Sonichu in "Witch Confront"==
{{Resources
| title =Witch Confront
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.512047658889718.1073741828.100002534669114&type=3 ''Sub-Episode 3''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_37 ''Sub-Episode 3''
| videobook =Sonichu_2_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode 3{{!}}''Sub-Episode 3''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic3P19.htm ''Sub-Episode 3''}}
This story is an expanded, redrawn version of the 18 March [[2004]] comic strip seen in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' 0]].

Following her brief, unexplained appearances in Episode 9, Christian's narration quickly gives [[Mary Lee Walsh]] a proper introduction, explaining that she tore up his [[Attraction Sign]], shattered his [[heart level|heart]], and hurt his soul in the early months of his [[Love Quest]]. He resolves that Mary Lee must be stopped before she hurts others.

Despite his [[ancestor]] advising him to use his powers responsibly to protect innocents, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] commences an unprovoked invasion of Mary Lee Walsh's office at the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], while she is stirring some potion in a boiling cauldron. Chris-Chan makes a token effort to suggest he's here for the safety of the public, but it's obvious he's just avenging Christian Weston Chandler. Walsh mocks Chris-Chan's corny old [[Sailor Moon]] poses and attacks him with dark magic, but Chris-Chan counters with Thunderbolt, Double Team, and Mirror Coat.

Seeing that their magical attacks are too evenly matched for her to gain the upper hand, Walsh invites Chris to hand-to-hand combat. Chris assures us he's never hit a woman (since women are weak and stupid), but since she's asking for it, he strikes her with a Mach Punch. The blow from a super-powered hedgehog doesn't faze her, however, and she responds with a kick to the crotch. Chris-Chan tries a Mega Kick, but, Walsh strikes him with her pitchfork and somehow presses his transformation spot without completely impaling him.

Chris reverts back to human form and lays prone on the ground, as Mary Lee Walsh puts two and two together: Chris-Chan Sonichu is secretly Christian Weston Chandler. Having shattered his heart, defeated him battle, and discovered his secret identity, Walsh decides there's nothing left to do but kill Christian. Before the final blow is struck, however, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] intervenes, revealing that he has been watching the whole time in case his father needed help. Christian quickly recovers and together they deliver their final attack. As Walsh cackles maniacally, Chris casts [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] while Sonichu uses Thunder; the combined energy appears to destroy Mary Lee, as she screams into oblivion. Or does she...?

===Back Cover===
In the original releases of ''Sonichu'' #2, the back cover featured a personal army request from CWC, where he asks his fans to start a grass-roots campaign to get [[Nintendo]] to recognize and embrace the ''Sonichu'' franchise.

In the CWCipedia version, however, the back cover message has been replaced with the ad for ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]''.

==Gallery==
<center>{{collapsible
|Issue 2
|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:SchuComic3Cover.jpg|Cover
Image:AxeAd.jpg|Ad 1
Image:GotMilk.jpg|Ad 2
Image:Sarahhammerdedication.jpg|Dedication Page
File:SchuComic3Page01.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page02.jpg
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File:SchuComic3Page24.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page25.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page26.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page27.jpg|Lady of peace, shooting boyfriends in the chest.
File:SchuComic3Page28.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page29.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page30.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page31.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page32.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page33.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page34.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page35.jpg
File:SchuComic3Page36.jpg
Image:SchuComicFreeBack.jpg|Early Back Cover
Image:Sonichu Adventure for Gamecube.jpg|Revised Back Cover
</gallery>}}</center>

==See Also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Comic Collection|linkname=the Sonichu Comic Collection}}
*[[Cherokian Clan]]
*[[Sarah Hammer]]
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]

==External links==
[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBOVJ5WnE2ZzlrZE0 Download this episode as a .zip file]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category: Sonichu comic book issues]]

Gun Comic

2017-02-06T02:23:16Z

RedVine01: /* Gallery */

[[File:Gun Comic Artwork.jpg|thumb|200px|An alternate take at the story.]]
On 8 [[November 2009]], [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] uploaded a video containing [[comic]] drawn by [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (Solid Chris) which depicted Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Solid comes to her rescue and shoots Liquid in both of his ankles with a handgun. This could be considered a [[Death Threats|threat]] to maim Liquid in real life, which is, of course, [[Chris and the Law|illegal]].

The comic, known as '''Sonichu Special 4''', seems to be an adaptation of Solid's [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]] level in ''[[Little Big Planet]]'', lifting most of its dialogue from the earlier production wholesale, including Liquid's awkward shout of, "I will have her! ALIVE!".

The [[Kacey and Liquid Call|resulting event]] caused by this comic exposed a lot of Ian's self-righteousness.
__TOC__
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-MbLlUF7s-o}}
| Stardate = 8 [[November 2009]]
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father|Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father]]
| next = [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M CWC-Tok (A Music Score by Christian Weston Chandler, FREE m.p.3. NOW INCLUDED)]
}}

==Plot==
[[Image:bad_chris.png|thumb|256px|Rampant [[Boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend-unfree boys]] related crimes these days... [[Virginia]] is not the exception.]]

The story begins as Ian Brandon Anderson is "rushing at the maximum speed limit of 65 mph" to retrieve his [[sweetheart]] Kacey from "[[CChanSonichuCWC|that lying copycat, Chris]]." Ian doesn't say whether Kacey is in any imminent danger at this point (especially as it takes him about an hour and a half to get to her), but he explains that Liquid Chris "could never truly treat her right," necessitating this rescue mission. It's odd that Ian refuses to break the speed limit to save Kacey's life, when he was willing to make [[death threats]] to recover his PSN accounts.

[[Son-Chu]] arrives at Liquid's hideout and Ian rushes in, demanding that the "damn, dirty troll" give up Ian's chattel. Liquid responds by brandishing a knife and attacking.

Ian dodges the blow, seizes his opponent in what appears to be a surfboard stretch, disarms him, and knocks him to the ground with a kick to the lower back. He then draws a handgun - the [[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] toy featured in some of his earlier videos - upon an unarmed and defenseless Liquid and shoots him in both shins. "You'll live," he declares callously, "but never impersonate, or lie that greatly, ever again."

The scene then shifts to Kacey's home, where all is well. Her parents (one of whom resembles the character [[Wikipedia:Guile (Street Fighter)|Guile]] from the ''[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|Street Fighter]]'' video games) shower Ian with admiration, and so do her siblings (one of whom resembles the character Candice from [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Diamond and Pearl|''Pokémon Diamond'' and ''Pearl'']], see a pattern here?), who add that "in comparison, that other guy was a geeky twerp." Ian and Kacey share a kiss and their adventure is over for now.

A close reading of the comic suggests that Ian [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripped off]] elements of ''[[wikipedia:Terminator 2|Terminator 2]]'' for this story. The "maximum speed limit of 65 miles per hour" and kneecapping/"You'll live" scenes look to have had their genesis in similar scenes from the movie, although they've been thoroughly twisted by their trip through Chris's creative process.
{{clear}}
==Marriage==
[[Image:Wedding Photo by Scarlet Rose.jpg|thumb|<3<3<3]]
Liquid also used this video to announce that he and Kacey are getting married.

{{Quote|I am Getting Married to Kacey around 2 p.m. This Wednesday. I Love ya, Baby.|}}

Chris has since [[CWC_is_Sad|tearfully responded]] to the loss of his [[China|true love]]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery perrow="5">
File:SchuComicSP4P1.jpg|Apparently Chris cares about the speed limit more than he cares about [[Sweetheart|his one true love]].
File:SchuComicSP4P2.jpg|Note how Kacey doesn't seem to be in danger...
File:SchuComicSP4P3.jpg|Chris smiles as Liquid Chris bleeds out in front of him.
File:SchuComicSP4P4.jpg|[[Father Call|The opposite of this scene occurred IRL]].
File:SchuComicSP4P5.jpg|Chris has an [[ego]]. Can you tell?
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlAOs3z9TFw Alternate music version for those in Germany]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sdxn7vR00Rg Audiobook edition]</s> DELETED
*<s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?3eotyjzlrzh Original files]</s> DEAD LINK

{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sonichu Special 4|Current]]|}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Liquid Saga]]
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Gun Comic

2017-02-06T02:20:26Z

RedVine01: /* Gallery */

[[File:Gun Comic Artwork.jpg|thumb|200px|An alternate take at the story.]]
On 8 [[November 2009]], [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] uploaded a video containing [[comic]] drawn by [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (Solid Chris) which depicted Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Solid comes to her rescue and shoots Liquid in both of his ankles with a handgun. This could be considered a [[Death Threats|threat]] to maim Liquid in real life, which is, of course, [[Chris and the Law|illegal]].

The comic, known as '''Sonichu Special 4''', seems to be an adaptation of Solid's [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]] level in ''[[Little Big Planet]]'', lifting most of its dialogue from the earlier production wholesale, including Liquid's awkward shout of, "I will have her! ALIVE!".

The [[Kacey and Liquid Call|resulting event]] caused by this comic exposed a lot of Ian's self-righteousness.
__TOC__
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-MbLlUF7s-o}}
| Stardate = 8 [[November 2009]]
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father|Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father]]
| next = [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M CWC-Tok (A Music Score by Christian Weston Chandler, FREE m.p.3. NOW INCLUDED)]
}}

==Plot==
[[Image:bad_chris.png|thumb|256px|Rampant [[Boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend-unfree boys]] related crimes these days... [[Virginia]] is not the exception.]]

The story begins as Ian Brandon Anderson is "rushing at the maximum speed limit of 65 mph" to retrieve his [[sweetheart]] Kacey from "[[CChanSonichuCWC|that lying copycat, Chris]]." Ian doesn't say whether Kacey is in any imminent danger at this point (especially as it takes him about an hour and a half to get to her), but he explains that Liquid Chris "could never truly treat her right," necessitating this rescue mission. It's odd that Ian refuses to break the speed limit to save Kacey's life, when he was willing to make [[death threats]] to recover his PSN accounts.

[[Son-Chu]] arrives at Liquid's hideout and Ian rushes in, demanding that the "damn, dirty troll" give up Ian's chattel. Liquid responds by brandishing a knife and attacking.

Ian dodges the blow, seizes his opponent in what appears to be a surfboard stretch, disarms him, and knocks him to the ground with a kick to the lower back. He then draws a handgun - the [[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] toy featured in some of his earlier videos - upon an unarmed and defenseless Liquid and shoots him in both shins. "You'll live," he declares callously, "but never impersonate, or lie that greatly, ever again."

The scene then shifts to Kacey's home, where all is well. Her parents (one of whom resembles the character [[Wikipedia:Guile (Street Fighter)|Guile]] from the ''[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|Street Fighter]]'' video games) shower Ian with admiration, and so do her siblings (one of whom resembles the character Candice from [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Diamond and Pearl|''Pokémon Diamond'' and ''Pearl'']], see a pattern here?), who add that "in comparison, that other guy was a geeky twerp." Ian and Kacey share a kiss and their adventure is over for now.

A close reading of the comic suggests that Ian [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripped off]] elements of ''[[wikipedia:Terminator 2|Terminator 2]]'' for this story. The "maximum speed limit of 65 miles per hour" and kneecapping/"You'll live" scenes look to have had their genesis in similar scenes from the movie, although they've been thoroughly twisted by their trip through Chris's creative process.
{{clear}}
==Marriage==
[[Image:Wedding Photo by Scarlet Rose.jpg|thumb|<3<3<3]]
Liquid also used this video to announce that he and Kacey are getting married.

{{Quote|I am Getting Married to Kacey around 2 p.m. This Wednesday. I Love ya, Baby.|}}

Chris has since [[CWC_is_Sad|tearfully responded]] to the loss of his [[China|true love]]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery perrow="5">
File:SchuComicSP4P1.jpg|Apparently Chris cares about the speed limit more than he cares about [[Sweetheart|his one true love]].
File:SchuComicSP4P2.jpg|Note how Kacey doesn't seem to be in danger...
File:SchuComicSP4P3.jpg|Chris smiles as Liquid Chris bleeds out in front of him.
File:SchuComicSP4P4.jpg|[[Father Call|The opposite of this occured IRL]].
File:SchuComicSP4P5.jpg
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlAOs3z9TFw Alternate music version for those in Germany]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sdxn7vR00Rg Audiobook edition]</s> DELETED
*<s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?3eotyjzlrzh Original files]</s> DEAD LINK

{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sonichu Special 4|Current]]|}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Liquid Saga]]
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Gun Comic

2017-02-06T02:18:46Z

RedVine01: /* Gallery */

[[File:Gun Comic Artwork.jpg|thumb|200px|An alternate take at the story.]]
On 8 [[November 2009]], [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] uploaded a video containing [[comic]] drawn by [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (Solid Chris) which depicted Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Solid comes to her rescue and shoots Liquid in both of his ankles with a handgun. This could be considered a [[Death Threats|threat]] to maim Liquid in real life, which is, of course, [[Chris and the Law|illegal]].

The comic, known as '''Sonichu Special 4''', seems to be an adaptation of Solid's [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]] level in ''[[Little Big Planet]]'', lifting most of its dialogue from the earlier production wholesale, including Liquid's awkward shout of, "I will have her! ALIVE!".

The [[Kacey and Liquid Call|resulting event]] caused by this comic exposed a lot of Ian's self-righteousness.
__TOC__
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-MbLlUF7s-o}}
| Stardate = 8 [[November 2009]]
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father|Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father]]
| next = [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M CWC-Tok (A Music Score by Christian Weston Chandler, FREE m.p.3. NOW INCLUDED)]
}}

==Plot==
[[Image:bad_chris.png|thumb|256px|Rampant [[Boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend-unfree boys]] related crimes these days... [[Virginia]] is not the exception.]]

The story begins as Ian Brandon Anderson is "rushing at the maximum speed limit of 65 mph" to retrieve his [[sweetheart]] Kacey from "[[CChanSonichuCWC|that lying copycat, Chris]]." Ian doesn't say whether Kacey is in any imminent danger at this point (especially as it takes him about an hour and a half to get to her), but he explains that Liquid Chris "could never truly treat her right," necessitating this rescue mission. It's odd that Ian refuses to break the speed limit to save Kacey's life, when he was willing to make [[death threats]] to recover his PSN accounts.

[[Son-Chu]] arrives at Liquid's hideout and Ian rushes in, demanding that the "damn, dirty troll" give up Ian's chattel. Liquid responds by brandishing a knife and attacking.

Ian dodges the blow, seizes his opponent in what appears to be a surfboard stretch, disarms him, and knocks him to the ground with a kick to the lower back. He then draws a handgun - the [[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] toy featured in some of his earlier videos - upon an unarmed and defenseless Liquid and shoots him in both shins. "You'll live," he declares callously, "but never impersonate, or lie that greatly, ever again."

The scene then shifts to Kacey's home, where all is well. Her parents (one of whom resembles the character [[Wikipedia:Guile (Street Fighter)|Guile]] from the ''[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|Street Fighter]]'' video games) shower Ian with admiration, and so do her siblings (one of whom resembles the character Candice from [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Diamond and Pearl|''Pokémon Diamond'' and ''Pearl'']], see a pattern here?), who add that "in comparison, that other guy was a geeky twerp." Ian and Kacey share a kiss and their adventure is over for now.

A close reading of the comic suggests that Ian [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripped off]] elements of ''[[wikipedia:Terminator 2|Terminator 2]]'' for this story. The "maximum speed limit of 65 miles per hour" and kneecapping/"You'll live" scenes look to have had their genesis in similar scenes from the movie, although they've been thoroughly twisted by their trip through Chris's creative process.
{{clear}}
==Marriage==
[[Image:Wedding Photo by Scarlet Rose.jpg|thumb|<3<3<3]]
Liquid also used this video to announce that he and Kacey are getting married.

{{Quote|I am Getting Married to Kacey around 2 p.m. This Wednesday. I Love ya, Baby.|}}

Chris has since [[CWC_is_Sad|tearfully responded]] to the loss of his [[China|true love]]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery perrow="5">
File:SchuComicSP4P1.jpg|Apparently Chris cares about the speed limit more than he cares about [[Sweetheart|his one true love]].
File:SchuComicSP4P2.jpg|Note how Kacey doesn't seem to be in danger...
File:SchuComicSP4P3.jpg|Chris smiles as Liquid Chris bleeds out in front of him.
File:SchuComicSP4P4.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P5.jpg
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlAOs3z9TFw Alternate music version for those in Germany]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sdxn7vR00Rg Audiobook edition]</s> DELETED
*<s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?3eotyjzlrzh Original files]</s> DEAD LINK

{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sonichu Special 4|Current]]|}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Liquid Saga]]
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Gun Comic

2017-02-06T02:16:57Z

RedVine01: /* Gallery */

[[File:Gun Comic Artwork.jpg|thumb|200px|An alternate take at the story.]]
On 8 [[November 2009]], [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] uploaded a video containing [[comic]] drawn by [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (Solid Chris) which depicted Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Solid comes to her rescue and shoots Liquid in both of his ankles with a handgun. This could be considered a [[Death Threats|threat]] to maim Liquid in real life, which is, of course, [[Chris and the Law|illegal]].

The comic, known as '''Sonichu Special 4''', seems to be an adaptation of Solid's [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]] level in ''[[Little Big Planet]]'', lifting most of its dialogue from the earlier production wholesale, including Liquid's awkward shout of, "I will have her! ALIVE!".

The [[Kacey and Liquid Call|resulting event]] caused by this comic exposed a lot of Ian's self-righteousness.
__TOC__
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-MbLlUF7s-o}}
| Stardate = 8 [[November 2009]]
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father|Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father]]
| next = [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M CWC-Tok (A Music Score by Christian Weston Chandler, FREE m.p.3. NOW INCLUDED)]
}}

==Plot==
[[Image:bad_chris.png|thumb|256px|Rampant [[Boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend-unfree boys]] related crimes these days... [[Virginia]] is not the exception.]]

The story begins as Ian Brandon Anderson is "rushing at the maximum speed limit of 65 mph" to retrieve his [[sweetheart]] Kacey from "[[CChanSonichuCWC|that lying copycat, Chris]]." Ian doesn't say whether Kacey is in any imminent danger at this point (especially as it takes him about an hour and a half to get to her), but he explains that Liquid Chris "could never truly treat her right," necessitating this rescue mission. It's odd that Ian refuses to break the speed limit to save Kacey's life, when he was willing to make [[death threats]] to recover his PSN accounts.

[[Son-Chu]] arrives at Liquid's hideout and Ian rushes in, demanding that the "damn, dirty troll" give up Ian's chattel. Liquid responds by brandishing a knife and attacking.

Ian dodges the blow, seizes his opponent in what appears to be a surfboard stretch, disarms him, and knocks him to the ground with a kick to the lower back. He then draws a handgun - the [[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] toy featured in some of his earlier videos - upon an unarmed and defenseless Liquid and shoots him in both shins. "You'll live," he declares callously, "but never impersonate, or lie that greatly, ever again."

The scene then shifts to Kacey's home, where all is well. Her parents (one of whom resembles the character [[Wikipedia:Guile (Street Fighter)|Guile]] from the ''[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|Street Fighter]]'' video games) shower Ian with admiration, and so do her siblings (one of whom resembles the character Candice from [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Diamond and Pearl|''Pokémon Diamond'' and ''Pearl'']], see a pattern here?), who add that "in comparison, that other guy was a geeky twerp." Ian and Kacey share a kiss and their adventure is over for now.

A close reading of the comic suggests that Ian [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripped off]] elements of ''[[wikipedia:Terminator 2|Terminator 2]]'' for this story. The "maximum speed limit of 65 miles per hour" and kneecapping/"You'll live" scenes look to have had their genesis in similar scenes from the movie, although they've been thoroughly twisted by their trip through Chris's creative process.
{{clear}}
==Marriage==
[[Image:Wedding Photo by Scarlet Rose.jpg|thumb|<3<3<3]]
Liquid also used this video to announce that he and Kacey are getting married.

{{Quote|I am Getting Married to Kacey around 2 p.m. This Wednesday. I Love ya, Baby.|}}

Chris has since [[CWC_is_Sad|tearfully responded]] to the loss of his [[China|true love]]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery perrow="5">
File:SchuComicSP4P1.jpg|Apparently Chris cares about the speed limit more than he cares about [[Sweetheart|his one true love]].
File:SchuComicSP4P2.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P3.jpg|Chris smiles as Liquid Chris bleeds out in front of him.
File:SchuComicSP4P4.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P5.jpg
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlAOs3z9TFw Alternate music version for those in Germany]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sdxn7vR00Rg Audiobook edition]</s> DELETED
*<s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?3eotyjzlrzh Original files]</s> DEAD LINK

{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sonichu Special 4|Current]]|}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Liquid Saga]]
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Gun Comic

2017-02-06T02:12:43Z

RedVine01: /* Gallery */

[[File:Gun Comic Artwork.jpg|thumb|200px|An alternate take at the story.]]
On 8 [[November 2009]], [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] uploaded a video containing [[comic]] drawn by [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (Solid Chris) which depicted Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Solid comes to her rescue and shoots Liquid in both of his ankles with a handgun. This could be considered a [[Death Threats|threat]] to maim Liquid in real life, which is, of course, [[Chris and the Law|illegal]].

The comic, known as '''Sonichu Special 4''', seems to be an adaptation of Solid's [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]] level in ''[[Little Big Planet]]'', lifting most of its dialogue from the earlier production wholesale, including Liquid's awkward shout of, "I will have her! ALIVE!".

The [[Kacey and Liquid Call|resulting event]] caused by this comic exposed a lot of Ian's self-righteousness.
__TOC__
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-MbLlUF7s-o}}
| Stardate = 8 [[November 2009]]
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father|Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father]]
| next = [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M CWC-Tok (A Music Score by Christian Weston Chandler, FREE m.p.3. NOW INCLUDED)]
}}

==Plot==
[[Image:bad_chris.png|thumb|256px|Rampant [[Boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend-unfree boys]] related crimes these days... [[Virginia]] is not the exception.]]

The story begins as Ian Brandon Anderson is "rushing at the maximum speed limit of 65 mph" to retrieve his [[sweetheart]] Kacey from "[[CChanSonichuCWC|that lying copycat, Chris]]." Ian doesn't say whether Kacey is in any imminent danger at this point (especially as it takes him about an hour and a half to get to her), but he explains that Liquid Chris "could never truly treat her right," necessitating this rescue mission. It's odd that Ian refuses to break the speed limit to save Kacey's life, when he was willing to make [[death threats]] to recover his PSN accounts.

[[Son-Chu]] arrives at Liquid's hideout and Ian rushes in, demanding that the "damn, dirty troll" give up Ian's chattel. Liquid responds by brandishing a knife and attacking.

Ian dodges the blow, seizes his opponent in what appears to be a surfboard stretch, disarms him, and knocks him to the ground with a kick to the lower back. He then draws a handgun - the [[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] toy featured in some of his earlier videos - upon an unarmed and defenseless Liquid and shoots him in both shins. "You'll live," he declares callously, "but never impersonate, or lie that greatly, ever again."

The scene then shifts to Kacey's home, where all is well. Her parents (one of whom resembles the character [[Wikipedia:Guile (Street Fighter)|Guile]] from the ''[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|Street Fighter]]'' video games) shower Ian with admiration, and so do her siblings (one of whom resembles the character Candice from [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Diamond and Pearl|''Pokémon Diamond'' and ''Pearl'']], see a pattern here?), who add that "in comparison, that other guy was a geeky twerp." Ian and Kacey share a kiss and their adventure is over for now.

A close reading of the comic suggests that Ian [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripped off]] elements of ''[[wikipedia:Terminator 2|Terminator 2]]'' for this story. The "maximum speed limit of 65 miles per hour" and kneecapping/"You'll live" scenes look to have had their genesis in similar scenes from the movie, although they've been thoroughly twisted by their trip through Chris's creative process.
{{clear}}
==Marriage==
[[Image:Wedding Photo by Scarlet Rose.jpg|thumb|<3<3<3]]
Liquid also used this video to announce that he and Kacey are getting married.

{{Quote|I am Getting Married to Kacey around 2 p.m. This Wednesday. I Love ya, Baby.|}}

Chris has since [[CWC_is_Sad|tearfully responded]] to the loss of his [[China|true love]]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery perrow="5">
File:SchuComicSP4P1.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P2.jpg
Chris smiles as Liquid Chris bleeds out in front of him
File:SchuComicSP4P3.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P4.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P5.jpg
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlAOs3z9TFw Alternate music version for those in Germany]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sdxn7vR00Rg Audiobook edition]</s> DELETED
*<s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?3eotyjzlrzh Original files]</s> DEAD LINK

{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sonichu Special 4|Current]]|}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Liquid Saga]]
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Rosechu

2017-02-05T15:08:51Z

RedVine01: /* Religion */

:''This article is about the character. For the general species of female OCs, see [[Rosechu (species)]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Rosechu Original.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Rosechu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 22 December 1988 (in universe)
22 December 2000 (IRL)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female ([[Rosechu#Transgender Drama|disputed]])
|-
| '''Length'''
| 4'8" (142 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 90 lbs (41 kg)
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Luxray (father), Raichu (mother)
|-
| '''Education'''
| CWCville University<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Rosey]] or [[Raichu]]
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| [[Vamprosa]] or [[The Incredible Lioness]]
|-
|}

'''Rosechu''' (pronounced "rose'chu" ([ˈroːztʃu]) in canon;<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu Rosechu's CWCipedia Page]</ref> ro'-za-chu ([ˈrozətʃu]) in the [[Audiobooks]]) is the second [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] created by [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]], and the girlfriend-turned-wife of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].

As the primary female character in the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' universe, she represents Chris's idea of a perfect woman, which unsurprisingly amounts to a bleating wall-eyed semen receptacle with no personality. Rosechu's interests include kissing Sonichu, shopping, gossiping, sucking Sonichu's [[Pickle|pickle]], posting nude photos of herself on the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] to uphold her reputation, and stripping for [[Women's rights]]. Chris will occasionally have Rosechu refer to him as "father" (or more likely "papa"), just like Sonichu.
Rosechu is extremely defensive about rumors that she has a [[Pickle|penis]].

==Development==

{{quote|Pink Electric Hedgehog Pokemon. The original cutie. She is Sonichu’s girlfriend. Even though she can’t run as fast as Sonichu, she still can zap up some power when in danger.|Rosechu's background, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm ''Sonichu's News Dash'' #2]}}

Christian's primary interests are [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon]]. Having first created [[Sonichu]], he would inevitably have to turn to fashioning a girlfriend for his creation, based predominantly on [[Amy Rose]], with minor elements from [[Raichu]] added. Whereas the Sonic/Amy relationship is deliberately one-sided to create some drama and comedy, Christian prides himself on the fact that Sonichu and Rosechu have absolutely no sexual tension or any complications in their romance at all.

Intentionally or not, the entire Sonichu/Rosechu relationship serves as Christian's model for how he presumes he will interact with his eventual sweetheart. Sonichu's attraction to Rosechu is based entirely on a single wayward glance. He makes no effort to win her affection, and does not need to, as Rosechu falls for him instantly. They are rarely out of one another's sight, and all of their time together is spent kissing, snuggling or screwing. Christian does not depict Rosechu as an unequal partner within the relationship, but since she has almost no purpose or existence outside of her association with Sonichu, the character essentially serves as little more than an [[Kimmi|object]] for Sonichu to periodically [[Semen|ejaculate]] inside.

As [[Trolls|trolls]] discovered Chris's weak spot for fan art of Rosechu with a penis, Christian responded with fervent attempts to prove Rosechu's femininity, drawing her less like the cartoonish Amy Rose and with greater attention to her breasts, hips, legs, underwear and cameltoe. This drive to assert Rosechu's sexuality, along with Chris's inevitable sexual attraction to his own character, probably contributed to Rosechu's increasing prominence in the comics. [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is almost entirely about her, even featuring an instance of Rosechu displaying formidable powers (in an attack which needlessly involved face-to-vagina contact).

Chris developed a biography page for Rosechu and revealed that he had created her on 22 December [[2000]], over nine months after creating Sonichu. Nowhere on the page is there any mention of him using [[Amy Rose]] as a base. It should also be noted that this was done basically out of obligation, as Rosechu (one of the comic's main characters) did not have her own page until [[February 2010]], while [[Simonla]], a rather minor character, had one back in [[December 2009]]. All information on Rosechu was originally to be found in a subsection of Sonichu's page, despite Chris's efforts to imply she is equal to him.

==Early life==

In the [[CWCipedia]] article for Rosechu, Chris gives a rambling, pointless backstory for Rosechu. According to Chris, Rosechu was raised by her parents: fathered by a [[Wikipedia:Raichu|Luxray]] and mothered by a [[Wikipedia:Raichu|Raichu]]. The [[Wikipedia:Luxray|Luxray]] hunts and does other masculine activities, while the Raichu stays home and [[Women's rights|cooks dinner]]. Chris gives the small group a family dynamic similar to that of humans (the notion of which is completely ridiculous in the [[Pokémon]] universe). While still a [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]], she was captured by a trainer, separating herself from family (though unlike [[Wild Sonichu]], she expresses no emotion whatsoever about this as an adult).

The Pichu was taken in by [[Wikipedia:Professor Oak|Professor Oak]], a character from the first-generation Pokémon games, and given to [[Kel|Kellie Felix]] as a consolation for not having arrived in time to receive one of the traditional starters. This plot point is stolen directly from the Pokémon anime and ''Pokémon Yellow'', which begin in almost the exact same way.

More extremely dull biographical information ensues, chiefly concerning [[Kel]] gathering a full team of Pokémon. Oddly, every one of her Pokémon has a human nickname ("David," "Ashley", et cetera) but the Pichu is not given a nickname at all. The Pichu that would become Rosechu evolves into a Pikachu at one point, and at level 50 Kel uses a Thunder Stone to force it to evolve into a Raichu
.

==Sexism==

{{quote|She is not just a sex object; she is an individual with her own feelings, aspirations and opinions.|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#The incredible vanishing email|explaining how he sees Rosechu as a sex object]]}}
Since Chris knows virtually nothing about actual women and considers them completely different from men, he has no frame of reference for Rosechu's characterization beyond qualities that make her a perfect mate in his eyes. Beyond her relationship with Sonichu and her defiance of [[4-cent garbage.com]], Chris will only have Rosechu partake in stereotypical female activities. She enjoys "shopping" for no other reason than Chris having deemed this as a compulsory feminine quality, as well as having long "girly chats" that can last for hours — as seen with her interaction with Amy Rose, whom according to Chris she does not resemble in any way. Despite all of the shopping she does, she always wears the same outfit in public (when she isn't making porn for [[Women's rights]]). Her only other hobbies seem to include lounging in fields of flowers, and playing the damsel in distress and constantly needing her man Sonichu to save her.

Also worth noting is that, unlike Sonichu, Rosechu didn't fall in love at first glance. According to the [[CWCipedia]], Rosechu only fell in love with Sonichu after he asked her to get him something to eat. [[Women's rights|Subtle]].

Despite being [[Slow in the minds|slower]] than her counterpart,<ref>"[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]"</ref> and rarely showing any usefulness or fighting prowess (merely twice at last count), Chris claims that Rosechu is equal to her heartsweet in every way; she's just always "caught off-guard".<ref>[[Common Questions#30_January_2010]]</ref> This tactfully implies that although Rosechu is as formidable in potential as Sonichu against the forces of evil, she is too incompetent to perform this duty. Logically, since Rosechu was created from Raichu, the evolved form of Pikachu, from which Sonichu was created, she should be stronger than him in basically every regard, but her crippling handicap of being female robs her of this.

It is notable that her nickname is the ''exact same'' as the [[Rosey|baby form]] of her species, in what is totally [[lie|not]] an infantilization of her character. To Chris's credit, she probably had the nickname before Chris came up with the Sonee/Rosey idea. Also, this could simply be an emulation of the common term of endearment ''"baby"'' normal people use (but isn't likely to be considering Chris's unoriginality).

==Transgender Drama==

[[Image:TheTailofRosechu.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's edited "proof" of Rosechu's sex.]]
[[Image:TheREALTailofRosechu.jpg|thumb|The unedited page tells a different story.]]

On 12 January 2010, Chris received [[Mailbag 39#Rosechu the transwoman|a letter from a fan]] complimenting his portrayal of Rosechu as a [[Wikipedia:Transwoman|transwoman]]. The fourth generation of the ''Pokémon'' games introduced a sexually dimorphic feature for [[Raichu]]; female Raichu have rounded tails, whereas the males have a defined point - the latter being the original Raichu design, and as such the design of the Raichu that would become Rosechu. Rather than simply explaining that he had created the character before this gender-specific characteristic existed in the game art, Chris's reaction was to freak out in [[Chris and writing|CAPS LOCK]] and [[12 January 2010#Part 2|scream into his camera]]. This intense reaction, of course, meant that the trolls had found yet another one of Chris's hot-buttons.

Chris received [[Mailbag 42#It was just a girl that had all the physical characteristics of a boy|two]] [[Mailbag 44#On Rosechu's man-parts|more]] letters about Rosechu's transgendered nature before taking further action. He threw together a poorly photoshopped collage, declaring that it proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that Rosechu was female. Unfortunately for Chris, the page in the archives remained unedited. This was pointed out in [[Mailbag 45#Caught in a lie? Just delete the evidence|Mailbag 45]]. Chris responded to the serious accusation of lying to his fans the only way he knew: by deleting the letter. Chris eventually used the obvious defense that the gender differences didn't exist when he drew the page in [[Mailbag 51#Apologizing deeply|Mailbag 51]], when a patient fan explained he should have done that all along.

When Chris created the Rosechu biography page, he mentioned that Rosechu had a blunt tail as a Raichu (contradicting his own art) and that it became pointed because of her transformation.
{{clear}}

==Marriage==

[[Image:AfterTheHoneyMoon.jpg|thumb|Rosechu's marriage with Sonichu hasn't been as idyllic as she always imagined...]]

Rosechu married Sonichu in a top secret ceremony at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church on March 17, 2006.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref> Despite living together and having constant [[Rule 34|sex]], the two lovebirds saw fit to keep their union out of the spotlight by wearing their rings under their gloves. Rosechu quickly set to work fulfilling her sole creator-given biological function as a [[Sonee and Rosey]] factory. As of 2009, the couple have [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|three hidden children]], abandoned to their put-upon-yet-attractive [[Heather Iglesias|Hispanic lesbian nanny]], presumably so the grown-ups can continue their important day-jobs of screwing and saving Chris from the trolls. The eldest, Cera, was already enrolled in elementary school in [[Sonichu 11]], despite being ostensibly two years old.

After having the kids, Rosechu "volunteered on her own sound decision to have her tubes tied,"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#4-Cent_Garbage CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref> which Chris believes is a reversible procedure (it generally is not). Rosechu elects to do this despite the fact that it would be be easier and safer for Sonichu to get a [[Wikipedia:vasectomy|vasectomy]] and much easier for Sonichu just to wear a condom, as both characters have espoused in fake PSAs within the comic. The fact that preventing future children is Rosechu's responsibility rather than her husband's illustrates Chris's [[Women's rights|self-centered views on masculinity, responsibility, and the woman's role in a marriage]].

==Religion==

She appears to hold [[Chris and religion|unspecified Christian beliefs]], reminding Sonichu that instead of [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|using violence]] or [[CWC is Angry|getting angry]] with his foes, he should "remember the story of Joseph" and forgive them. After all, all of the "good guys" of Chris' comic must be like their [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|insane, murderous god]].

However, Rosechu fails to remember the story of Joseph herself when she savagely mauls [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] not only for the crime of creating a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|satire website]] about her creator - but for throwing a pickle at her. As proof of her [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]], Rosechu transforms into [[The Incredible Lioness]], face-rapes Jason and tears his scalp open before electrocuting him, leaving him convulsing in a pool of blood.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_46 Sonichu 8]</ref>

==Campaigner==

Despite the sexism evident, Rosechu is a long-term campaigner for [[Women's rights]].

Rosechu has also been known to complain about the "dumb" child pornography laws,<ref>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]</ref> mirroring Chris's wish that they be overturned so he can expand his [[Love Quest]] criteria to include children.

With her total lack of personality, rampant promiscuity, violent behaviour and enthusiasm for child pornography, Chris believes Rosechu is the perfect model for young female fans.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:229-ACRchu.jpg
Image:230-ACRchuBck.jpg
Image:234-RchuCard1.jpg
Image:235-RchuCard2.jpg
Image:236-RchuCard3.jpg
Image:237-YuRosechu.jpg
Image:239-RchuWink.jpg
Image:241-DolledRchu.jpg
Image:242-RosechuStyle.jpg
Image:512-RosechuAtPacSun.JPG|Originally believed to be [[DJ Jamsta]], it turns out this is Rosechu.
Image:A_pickle.jpg|NOT PHOTOSHOPPED!
Image:238-RosechuPose.jpg
Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|[[The Incredible Lioness|Rosechu's final form]], campaigning for [[Women's rights|women's rights]] with facerape.
Image:ECP 00077.jpg|They've fused!
Image:Modnation Rosechu.jpg|In ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:LBPRosechu.jpg|In [[LittleBigPlanet]].
File:Medallions 2.JPG|Rosechu [[medallion]].
File:Lego Rosechu B.jpg|[[LEGO]] Rosechu.
File:Lego Rosechu A.jpg|Rosechu's tail, shaped with great care and attentiveness.
File:WACS 1.JPG|"WACs: Real American Heroines!," offered for sale on [[eBay]].
File:Rosechu tennis 1.JPG|"Sweethearts Playing a Round," another marketed drawing.
File:RosechuAmiiboA.jpg|Rosechu [[Amiibo]], for sale on [[Etsy]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
{{CWCipedia}}

*[[Vamprosa]]
*[[The Incredible Lioness]]
*[[Rosechu (species)]]
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]
*[[CWCville#Zapbud|Zapbud]], a flower Rosechu likes.
*[[Pickle]], a vegetable another Rosechu is [[Silvana|implied to have]].

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Rosechus]]

Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown

2017-02-05T14:16:27Z

RedVine01: /* Aftermath */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|I [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to [[death threats|DIE and BURN]]!

As for [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]], if he is reading this and is asking, "You've got something to say to me?" I do, P.S. F*** You, you [[Dreams|Dream]] Smashing Son of a B****!|[[PSN blogs]]}}

[[File:PaRappaContestInfo.jpg|thumb|Original promo info about the contest]]

In [[2007|June 2007]], [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment [[United States of America|America]] (SCEA) announced the '''Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown''' contest to promote the video game ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''. Contestants were to film themselves performing either Chop Chop Master Onion's rap, Instructor Mooselini's rap or Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken's rap a capella. The grand prize winner of the contest would receive two [[PSP of Fail|PSPs]] and an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 Penny Arcade Expo.

The contest was of monumental importance, as it would achieve goals for [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on multiple fronts. Beyond his innate desire to win contests by making an ass of himself on film, Chris hoped to bestow one of the PSPs to his beloved [[Megan Schroeder]] and invite her to accompany him on the trip, thereby creating an opportunity for her to [[China|give in]] to her obvious passion for him. The potential benefits could not be overstated. Failure to win the contest was not an option.

==The Original Version==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|nJ3o3kQZWm8}}</center>

==Chris's Version: "Master Onion A-La Mode"==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cEmM4JKZK8I}}
| stardate = 29 [[June 2007]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Stackhouse|text}}
| shirt = {{OrangeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Soul Calibur#Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh|SOUL CALIBUR: Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh]]
| next = [[CWC is Angry]]
}}

To ensure nothing less than total victory, Chris elected to perform the "Chop Chop Master Onion Rap". Despite claiming this was the only song he knew from the game, Chris clearly didn't know it all that well, considering that he reads its lyrics while "performing," not having bothered to rehearse/learn the lines. But then again, have any of his videos looked even remotely prepared? Oddly, he peppers the video with various video effects that seem to come from the [[PSEye]] program EyeCreate, including a hilarious caption of "Birthday Boy" popping up during when Chris first does the "duck and turn" part of the song. It could be assumed that Chris did so to make his video look 'nice', but in the end it made it turn into laughing material. Towards the end of the video, Chris can be seen [[Chris and health|struggling to breathe]] from close to three minutes of extremely mild exercise. Also, at one point, a fire effect is shown at the bottom of the screen. [[Destruction Of Chris's House|Make of that what you will]].

{{quote|This previously submitted PaRapper [''sic''] the Rapper "Master Onion A-La Mode" Video is among the TOP TEN to win the GRAND PRIZE. And I would TRULY APPRECIATE your generous Vote, so please click the highlighted link to the Playstation Website's Voting page. **I am Video NUMBER 7 (scroll down; the one with the Blue Guitar)** You have the power to make my AUTISTIC life SO MUCH BETTER. Thank You. :) (more)}}

=== Transcript ===

<poem>Hey, P-Station, my name is Christian Chandler
I live in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville, Virginia]]!
I have a PSP, I like to rap,
I play PaRappa, and go with him now.
The only song I know is "Master Onion"
Which I got from a demo I borrowed from my friend Megan!

I have a PSP and she don't,
So give me the PSP; unwrap the wrapper,
So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!

So here we go, we're gonna sing it now.
Master Onion, A-La Mode!

[[CWC Fighter|Kick! Punch!]] It's all in the m-mind.
If you wanna test me, I'm sure you will find
That you all things, I'll teach ya sure to beat ya,
Nevertheless, you'll get a lesson from teacher now

Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
Block (Block)

Once more now. Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
And Block (Block)

Don't get cocky, it's doesn't get [[Rocky Shoemaker|rocky]],
We gonna move down to the next ya jockey now

Duck ([[Duck]])
Jump (Jump)
Turn (Turn)
And Pose (Pose)

Listen carefully. Jump (Jump)
Pose (Pose)
Duck (Duck)
and Turn (Turn)

Hmm, yeah, I see you're getting better,
Kick to the limit in order to get her now

Kick Punch (Kick Punch)
Chop Block (Chop Block)
Chop Kick (Chop Kick)
Punch Block (Punch Block)

It's gonna get harder now Duck & Jump (Duck & Jump)
Turn & Pose (Turn & Pose)
Duck & Turn (Duck & Turn)
Jump & Pose (Jump Pose)

Come on now, why don't you follow my words,
Because we're almost done, I'll make things worse.
I wanna see if you wanna see what it means
To be the man with the master plan. Are you the man now?

Here we go now. Kick Punch Block (Kick Punch Block)
Chop Kick Block (Chop Kick Block)
Block Turn & Kick it (Block Turn & Kick it)
Block Duck Punch (Block Duck Punch)
Duck Duck Turn (Duck Duck Turn)
Jump Kick Chop (Jump Kick Chop)
and Punch Punch Punch (Punch Punch Punch)

That's it for today.
Good job, PaRappa!
You can go to the next stage now.
Yahoo! Alright!

PaRappa, I'm so proud of you!
Congratulations!
Alright. Thank ya, teacha!
Again: what?

Man, you’re so good!
I got a [[Muscle bra|tit]]-loose memory, money
With students like you…
Wanna try a super-beginner’s course?

You’re pick—you’re pickin’ on me too fast!
I'm outta here!

[[Guitar Hero]] on [[PlayStation 3]]
Don't press the PS button after select hang, see?
Make sure you hook up with the converter controller
Dude, rock on, yo! Nananananaaaa!

Rap, rap, rap! That's a wrap!</poem>

==Campaign==
[[File:Stink Lines by Archwig.jpg|thumb|Artist's interpretation]]

Chris's video made it into the top 10, giving him just a small amount of luck as the contest was rather obscure (at the time) and a little more than 10 people entered. The winner was to be selected from a vote by PlayStation Underground members in [[July 2007]]. Chris asked for votes from many people:

* At [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris handed out fliers telling people to vote for him. To ensure success, he read everything off the flier to each person before giving it over. Obviously, no one voted.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris's history and personality]]</ref>
* Chris badgered his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] to vote. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out from their [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] about the real identity of Cole's biological father.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 July 2007 email]]</ref> Cole ended up never voting because either Chris did not care about Cole's plight, or he simply was just that lazy.
* Chris also asked Susan Hannifan,<ref>[[Chris emails 2007#July]]</ref> a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] guidance counselor to whom Chris showed a disrespectful attitude in the past.<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#February 2004]]</ref>
* Chris wrote ads on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]], [[CWC's Pokésite 2]], [[MySpace]], [[PSN blogs|PSN]], his [[Hot Wheels]] site, and his Bionicle site.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris wishes her a happy birthday, Megan still in Kentucky, Chris whores himself for votes]]</ref>

Chris also took matters into his own hands by stuffing the ballot with an endless stream of votes on different fake accounts. On the day before voting ended, he posted his own reviews of the top 10 videos in his [[PSN blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog]].{{clear}}

{{quote|Such honesty of his situation and devotion for his lucky girlfriend adds great emotions to his performance. The visually appealing effects added the best humor and biggest laugh I had among the bunch. I enjoyed the fun background of his assumed-to-be bedroom. And his informative feedback on playing [[Guitar Hero]] on Playstation 3 was truly a wise and great addition. Also, he has nailed the lyrics A-Capella. :) As this brave [[autistic|AUTISTIC]] warrior so creatively put it at the end, "Rap, Rap, Rap, That's a Wrap!" Truly the cherry on the top of the sundae. A perfect score of 5/5 Stars for his marvelous effort, and smiling at knowing he looked a bit stupid. :)|Chris, describing his video in third person}}

==Results==

{{quote|Changing the lyrics will result in disqualification.|Official contest rules}}

[[Image:Cchanmegan.jpg|thumb|Chris thought that he could easily win the contest and the heart of his Sweetest [[Megan]]. Chris was, unsurprisingly, wrong.]]

The competition was won by [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Being the narcissist manchild he is, Chris has bore a grudge against him for a long time, as he felt Adam broke "da rules"<ref>[[PSN blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog, 31 July 2007]]</ref> by having music and multiple people in his entry. Chris loathed the 2nd and 3rd place winners for having music as well. In actuality, the beatboxing in Adam's video is technically [[Wikipedia:A cappella|a cappella]]. Furthermore, another top 10 finalist claimed that he had removed his own music to avoid breaking the rules, but [[Sony]] said it was fine.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWwfRqMZ6QE Momo :: Chop Chop Master Onion Showdown (w/music)] video on [[YouTube]]</ref>

Chris, of course, violated the rules to a far worse extent than Adam - inserting his own lyrics, to say nothing of rampant vote-stuffing. How Chris even made the top 10 is a mystery; the judges likely observed the obvious fact that something is [[Slow-in-the-Minds|wrong]] with Chris and took pity on him.

Relentless vote stuffing did earn Chris a reward, however. The rules state that finalists would "...get their Submissions published on PlayStation.com, and will receive a copy of the game PaRappa the Rapper for the PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system and some PaRappa branded premium items such as a PSP skin, PSP charm, and a PaRappa signature beanie (ARV $60)." Or, as Chris explains in [[PS3 History level]], "copy of the PSP version of the PSOne classic, a charm, HIS hat, and 5 PSP-1000 Skins." (It is unknown why "HIS" is all capitalized. PaRappa is neither divine in nature, nor exactly a paragon of masculinity.)
{{-}}

==Aftermath==

Infuriated over his loss, Chris sent an angry email to Sony executives on 3 [[August 2007]], blasting them for refusing to award him the Seattle trip.

The email is a whiny and rambling tirade where Chris begs for first prize, because winning the video game contest represented his only opportunity at losing his [[virgin with rage]] status to [[Megan Schroeder]] and giving birth to his daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Furthermore, Chris accuses the company of discriminating against autistic individuals, solely for failing to reward them with [[Chris and his Ego|special treatment]]:<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2007#August]]</ref>

{{quote|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[stress sigh|sigh]]*

[[Chris and reality|I had my fantasies]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|having fun with Megan]], taking her to a really extravagent [''sic''] destination (I am not rich), taking a long-wanted tour of the [[Nintendo]] of America company tour, with her, playing [[Guitar Hero]] against the guy in the PaRappa costume, jamming with Megan in the hotel room and possibly our [[Chris and sex|first time in the bed]]... *sigh*

[[CWC is Sad|Life can be soooooooooo unfair and f***ing corrupt.]]

But I digress; TAKE THE A-CAPELLA RULE TO THE MAX on those THREE out of ten videos.

Take care; Christian Weston Chandler. (:_( |}}

On 4 August, Chris raged multiple times on his [[PSN blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|PSN blog]] against Adam and the other winners, using his time-honored "Kick the Autistic" crutch. When people told him to relax, he told them to shut up: this resulted in a temporary ban from PSN moderators.

The same day, Chris sent another angry e-mail to Sony executives, this time enclosing a systematic dissection of why everyone else's video was in violation of contest rules. Chris evidently [[Chris and hypocrisy|overlooked]] his own questionable ethics of mercilessly vote-stuffing with sockpuppet accounts and begging everyone on his e-mail contact list to vote for him. Sony later replied with a canned response, indicating that his letter was not even read at all and that Chris would need to resort to more drastic measures.

Two days later, Chris would continue his rampage against Adam Stackhouse by creating a fake [http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html webpage] designed to show himself as the true winner of the contest. That page substituted his own name for Stackhouse's and also included the following disclaimer:

{{quote|<nowiki>*</nowiki>The EX-Winner, Adam Stackhouse, was DISQUALIFIED on the grounds of violating the Official Rules on TWO COUNTS: 
-He Had Licensed BeatBox Music playing from a licensed BoomBox. 
-He Had his SISTER ILLEGALLY in the video without authorized consent. 
 
We of the Playstation Underground apologize for the confusion and inconvience of not having dealt with this INJUSTICE sooner. Please disregard any web pages that may state the contrary; they shall be taken down by our webmaster momentary}}

He then went around various PSN News posts and left comments with the following:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/warhawk-goes-gold/comment-page-9/</ref><ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/comment-monitoring/comment-page-4/</ref>

{{quote|I wanted to mention a small concern… there is a link to the True Real Winner of the Chop Chop Master Onion Contest at
<nowiki>http://groups.myspace.com/CWCandFriendsCustoms</nowiki>.
Yet, when I click the link on us.playstation.com, I get a different “Winner”.
I Do Not Know Who To Believe! Do I believe the Official-Rule-Violating adamstackhouse, or do I believe the [[List of Chris's Lies|Honest]], Autistic CWCSonichu?}}

Chris later escalated his campaign by producing a video titled [[CWC is Angry]]. In the video, Chris prints out a picture of Stackhouse and his sister and uses it as a pellet gun target for two continuous minutes. Although the video was originally intended to be a vindictive show of intimidation, the mood was spoiled by an episode of ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' blaring loudly in the background, not to mention Chris' weapon of choice was a [[Megatron pistol|toy]] [[Transformer]].

During Chris's struggle to be recognized as the rightful winner of the contest, Megan informed him that she was glad he lost and that she would never have gone with him on the trip even if he had won. Chris finally went on to claim that he had contracted a "[[dirty crapped briefs|gut virus]]" due to the strain on his body from slapping together his half-assed contest entry.

Two versions of the video exist. The one that Chris uploaded later to his YouTube channel has an additional photograph of Megan between the first and second verses. Either this version is the original version ''before'' Megan broke up with Chris, and Chris had to remove her picture to make amends, or the video with the picture was made ''much'' later, due to Chris's pangs of agony over long-lost love.

On 31 [[October 2007|October]], Chris made a fake Parappa profile on MySpace to ease his pain from losing the contest--Parappathe''[[Rape|raping]]''<nowiki></nowiki>dog. [[Chris and English|Good job]].<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20080705130230/http://www.myspace.com/sonichucwc</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1iwZp-j170Y}}
| maker = {{Liquid|text}}
| stardate = 9 [[January 2010]]
| type = Remix of "TiK ToK" by Ke$ha
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chop Chop Master Onion Rap
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YfW82twiD5E}}
| maker = SiIvaGunner
| stardate = 25 [[May 2016]]
| type = High quality video game rip
}}

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Adam Stackhouse]]
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]
*[[CWC is Angry]]
*''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]

==Download==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FFI3HKPS Original file]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Soul Calibur|Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]|nextlink=[[CWC is Angry]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-06-29]]
[[Category:Megan Saga]]

Autism

2017-02-05T13:22:05Z

RedVine01: /* Persecution */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DeadLinks}}

[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|'''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|[[Chris]], on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble 9.5]]}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED.|Chris, [[exposing Jeff]].}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]

::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but it has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no known cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

Christian Weston Chandler has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks.<ref>[[Greene_County_Conspiracy]]</ref> In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his Ego|special significance]], but also feels that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism.<ref>[[Asperger_Syndrome]]</ref> Chris feels he is naturally better than everyone else and often talks down to people who display knowledge or experience of subjects he is unfamiliar with. During his conversation with [[Father_Call|Kacey's father]], Chris downplayed Kacey's knowledge of biology and healthcare despite being proven wrong minutes before in a debate over the genetics of autism.<ref>[[Father_call#Kacey's_boobs_and_Internet_fame]]</ref> At the same time, Chris believes he is not responsible for the majority of his mistakes. By being autistic, Chris rationalizes that it is wholly the fault of autism if he [[Twin Falling Towers|makes]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|poor]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked_Out_of_College|decisions]].<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_20]]</ref>

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

{{quote|He may be high functioning (which I actually doubt -- who would want to admit to thousands of strangers that they are actually severely challenged??), but that does not mean he can function like a non-mentally challenged person.|rae12, Cracked.com<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20150503081114/http://www.cracked.com/funny-3956-chris-chan/</ref>}}

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; for a general idea, this crude scale could have levels of high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as; the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, having near-normal comprehension, demonstrating fluent speech, and possessing near average intellect. This presents Christian with an easy scapegoat and alibi: he cannot be blamed for his own failures because he has autism, but he does not accept treatment or advice for his "medium" or "low" level autistic traits because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning. Only an [[Autism papers|updated]] [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|psychological profile]] would really provide insight into the complex and controversial mixture of autism and mental illness that is present within Christian.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.<ref>[[Asperger syndrome]]</ref>

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|soils himself]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk, drive, write, and draw. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]], [[Monty Python|Michael Palin]], and [[Pokémon|Satoshi Tajiri]] amongst many others, yet he has failed to do anything significant with his adult life-- hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are, for the most part (this is further elaborated on below), his own fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]], telling Chris something he'll flat out ignore.}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After crying for hours, he emerged from the room unable to talk; as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and Religion|God]] put the mute button on me."<ref>[[Song of Christian#The actual poem]]</ref> (This implies that Chris could talk before this incident, which directly contradicts Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven.) Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Characteristics of autism]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far more likely that Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame for Chris's sudden loss of language development. Notably, Chris has diverged from this story before, having claimed at least once that he was intentionally "injected" with autism by doctors when he was a child, as if that were even possible. Nevertheless, it speaks volumes on the [[List of Chris's lies|veracity]] of the former account if he can't even keep his story straight, not to mention that Chris probably [[Naïve|has little idea on the causes of autism]] anyway.

As for how Chris ''actually'' became autistic, studies have shown that there is a [http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/20100208/autism-risk-rises-with-mothers-age positive correlation between the age of the mother and the risk of autism]. Given that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] was 40 years old when she gave birth to Chris, this is a likely explanation.

It is currently unclear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he [[Song of Christian|got an F]], threw a temper tantrum so big it forced the faculty to restrain him, while refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

Chris frequently brings up that the reason people used to [[Kick the Autistic|be cruel to him]] in his childhood was because "they did not understand Autism." In the [[1980s]]. When Autism had been known for around 40 years. When asked about why they did not understand, Chris delivers his canned response of "I do not know."

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g. throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the Universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's tactful and sensitive comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[trolls]] dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic guy with a few "eccentricities", or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid Saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[List of Chris's sweethearts|list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls (of both sexes) pretending to be female sweethearts, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approached him about making a ''Sonichu'' game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he was a virgin.<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris in Person (From THEIR Point of View)]]</ref>

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you enjoy Chris appearing in your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish, possibly because he copied it from [[My Little Pony|actual cartoons]]. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13-year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them, even though the two don't even have the same skin colour.

*[[White knight#Chris lacks empathy himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. In his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde, his advice after the suicide of Clyde's brother [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing platonic relationships. Many non-autistic people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He is also uninterested in talking about subjects besides himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow. In an [[Jackie E-mails 23|exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to her frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by saying she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; while he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and the organization of elements bordering OCD. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the Law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LittleBigPlanet#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[Continuity in the Sonichu comics#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris exhibits symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]]; this is a common characteristic of autistic people. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[:File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious however is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]] which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref> Loud sounds also bother Chris. He was prohibited from attending pep rallies in high school,<ref>[[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Actual friendships]]</ref> and has expressed hesitation about visiting bars because of the noise.

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PlayStation 3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]].

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[Attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]—where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games; his proven tendencies to avoid responsibilities and self improvement show that he is trying to remain a child or simply fears failure of all types.

*An overlooked but crucial characteristic affecting all of Chris's physical activity is his display of [[Wikipedia:Hypotonia|hypotonia]], which refers to a distinct lack of muscle tone — in biological terms referring to tension rather than the colloquial use to describe muscle strength (although raw physical strength is also affected by it) — which affects motor skills as well as stamina. Chris is not only very clumsy, he shows abnormally low muscle strength and gets tired quickly even by [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|simply shuffling around for a couple of minutes]] — which cannot be entirely explained by his lack of physical exercise. Whenever Chris is shown sitting, [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris captured on video|he is spread around like a rag doll]], [[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|hanging limply]]—as his muscles cannot support his entire body properly. This condition is also linked to [[speech impediment]].

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.
[[File:Mii.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's personification of autism for beating up in Super Smash Bros.]]
Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex may be too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|he is a prevalent figure in the autistic community.]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the Internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. In [[November 2010]], he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

Chris's failure to understand the symptoms of autism may well explain some of his odd behaviors. Due to lack of social activity and poor theory of mind, Chris doesn't seem to realize that his behaviors are what they are, as best demonstrated by his belief that [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|it is normal for an adult to shit themselves.]] Chris does not recognize the differences between himself and others, and this applies to the differences between himself and neurotypicals - and, seeing no differences, he believes his autism to have been thoroughly conquered, even while embodying every single trait of it.

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009, he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth]] alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In a [[Some Favored Comedians|video]] in 2010 Chris said the Internet made people autistic, likely confusing the hyperbolic claim often made jokingly to that effect with fact. Ironically Chris's excessive use of the Internet in place of human interaction have probably done more to exacerbate his symptoms than almost anything else.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up — in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claimed during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seemed to have regained his autism and was back to [[Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. However, [[November 2009]] saw Chris again claiming to have been miraculously cured, as stated at the end of part 2 of his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations, where he described himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''". A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris again backpedaled; in response to ED's claim he was "suffering" from autism, he [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|agreed]] that "''I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails, he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend), he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics," you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so the reality is that he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]] when in reality many much lower functioning autistics lead far more independent and fulfilling lives than he does. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even by [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can therefore be speculated that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem as unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, with some even going as far as [[A-Logging|wishing he'd fuck off and die]] and stop giving them a bad name. The deleted article about Chris on TV Tropes said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel;" that is to say, it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window into hell."

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* [http://web.archive.org/web/20110915021308/http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://web.archive.org/web/20110915021331/http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site." Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== References ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Bruce Johnson

2017-02-05T13:11:20Z

RedVine01: /* Chris's accusations */

{{Stub}}
'''Dr. L. Bruce Johnson''' was the principal of the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where Chris attended 4th grade. According to the book ''101 Stunts For Principals To Inspire Student Achievement'', Johnson was a fun loving man who, once a year, would dress up as a popular children's book character [[Wikipedia:Captain Underpants|Captain Underpants]] to inspire his students to earn higher standardized test scores.<ref>http://books.google.ru/books?id=UoCYt8OAZDsC&pg=PA82&dq=bruce+johnson+nathanael+greene+elementary&hl=en&sa=X&ei=EuSvU4moNOSC4gSC4YD4BQ&ved=0CB8QuwUwAA#v=onepage&q=bruce%20johnson%20nathanael%20greene%20elementary&f=false</ref> According to Chris, he was a monstrous [[pedofork]] who would sexually and physically abuse children.
==Chris's accusations==
===Pedophilia===
Dr. Johnson was first mentioned by Chris in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|Captain's Log video]] from 21 [[January 2009]], where he hinted that he had uncovered "[[Chris and psychology|repressed memories]]." Chris later went into a bit more detail in [[Mumble 3]].

{{quotebox|Oh yes. Doctor Johnson of Nathanael Greene Elementary. The principal. He was a h- he was uh, the [[homos|homo]]... that pretty much set me against... the homos and further kept me on the straight path.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>}}

In an IRC chat from around the same time, Chris had more to say about Johnson:

{{quotebox|The Principle of the Nathanel Greene [[Chris and English#Spelling|Elemetary]] School [sic], Dr. Johnson, was a [[homos|Homo]], and when I was sent to his office; he picked me up, set me on his lap, then I would always get off his lap, because I ALWAYS HATED that; I felt bad vibes back then. Fortunately, it has never gone beyond that, and [[Bob|my father]] caught his intentions on that, and the Court Battles Started. He likely exagerates [''sic''], but my father knew that there were a bunch of homos within that school board, and that was why they hated me and my family, in addition to those people not understanding [[Autism]]. Anyway, from those past memories, that is why I have grown up to Rarely Associate with men, and why I DESPIE THE HOMOS the Worst.}} {{cite}}

Chris is very obviously [[Lie|lying]] about the incidents he talks about here in order to bawww to his audience. In other words, Chris is making up false [[rape]] claims. Classy.

===Physical abuse===
{{quotebox|...some of the teachers and principals of Nathanael Greene Elementary School… that I was attending in later years (about, uh, late [[1980s]], early [[1990s]]) [''inhales sharply''] They abused me—they abused me by pinning me to the ground with, uh, their ha—with, uh, holding my wrists and my ankles, pinning me down to the ground and—and audio-taping my cries and shouts. But, anyway, my mother and my father, they both fought the court system, the Greene County court system, which, uh, they were not a very nice bunch of people, very not.<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref>}

== Sources ==
<references/>
==See Also==
*[[Chris's education]]
*[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Johnson, Bruce}}
[[Category: People]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009

2017-02-05T13:08:29Z

RedVine01:

In this video, officially known as "'''CWCUpdate01202009'''", [[Christian]] announces that [[sonichu.info]], the site he created just days ago following the hacking of [[sonichu.net]], has also been hacked. He promises his fans (especially the female ones) that he will restore his true website soon.

In a bizarre aside, Chris acknowledges a recent [http://cogsdev.pastebin.com/f7121bef2 revelation] he made in [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] concerning the incident involving the [[Principal of Nathanael Greene Elementary School|principal]] of his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]]. He assures us that this information will not be used to turn him gay.

==Description==
{{quotebox|.net and .info are BOTH DENOUNCED from the Sonichu Site, OFFICIALLY. Watch for a NEW Sonichu.COM to be the OFFICIAL Sonichu Site, ONLY from Christian Weston Chandler.}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|VZoE5aWzszc}}
| stardate = 21 [[January 2009]]
| subject = {{Website|text}}
| shirt = {{JokerShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash#Video|Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]]
| next = [[CWC Update 26 January 2009#Video|CWC Update 26 January 2009]]
}}
{{quote|I ''hate'' the homos.}}

=== Transcript ===

January 21st, [[2009]] update.

I just wanted to, uh, let y'all kn—let y'all know in this update that, uh, in addition to my previous, uh… denouncing of the sonichu.net, I am als—I am also—I have also denounced sonichu.''info'', since that got hacked into…—earlier this week, back on—back about—uh, on the—around the—er, on—around the ''18th'' of January. So, as of the 18th, I have ''denounced'' sonichu.info. But I… ''promise''… every one of you (my loyal, true Sonichu fans… especially the, uh, [[Sonichu Girls]]...—and, while I respect… ''men''… in general… I ''hate'' the [[homos]]).

I actually ''do'' have a past story… as I have realized from repressed memories back from the Greene County days. But I will not go further than that, 'cause y'all would have a field day… and try and t—twist it into your own evil ways, ''so''....

I'm ''straight'', and ''nothing'' is going to change that.

But, now, getting back to the issue at hand... of Soni—of the Sonichu site. Rest assured… [[Glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|[''removes glasses dramatically'']]]… a brand new… sonichu.''com''… ''will'' be the official… Sonichu site. So… pay at—so… keep an eye out! Keep an eye out.

Peace!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]]|nextlink=[[CWC Update 26 January 2009]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2009-01-21]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, January 2009| 2009-01-21]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2009-01-21]]

Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009

2017-02-05T13:07:24Z

RedVine01:

In this video, officially known as "'''CWCUpdate01202009'''", [[Christian]] announces that [[sonichu.info]], the site he created just days ago following the hacking of [[sonichu.net]], has also been hacked. He promises his fans (especially the female ones) that he will restore his true website soon.

In a bizarre aside, Chris acknowledges a recent [http://cogsdev.pastebin.com/f7121bef2 revelation] he made in [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] concerning the incident involving the [[Principal of Nathanael Greene Elementary School|principal]] of his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]]. He assures us that this information will not be used to turn him gay.

Chris is very obviously [[Lie|lying]] about the incidents he talks about in this video in order to bawww to his audience. In other words, Chris is making up false [[rape]] claims. Classy.

==Description==
{{quotebox|.net and .info are BOTH DENOUNCED from the Sonichu Site, OFFICIALLY. Watch for a NEW Sonichu.COM to be the OFFICIAL Sonichu Site, ONLY from Christian Weston Chandler.}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|VZoE5aWzszc}}
| stardate = 21 [[January 2009]]
| subject = {{Website|text}}
| shirt = {{JokerShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash#Video|Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]]
| next = [[CWC Update 26 January 2009#Video|CWC Update 26 January 2009]]
}}
{{quote|I ''hate'' the homos.}}

=== Transcript ===

January 21st, [[2009]] update.

I just wanted to, uh, let y'all kn—let y'all know in this update that, uh, in addition to my previous, uh… denouncing of the sonichu.net, I am als—I am also—I have also denounced sonichu.''info'', since that got hacked into…—earlier this week, back on—back about—uh, on the—around the—er, on—around the ''18th'' of January. So, as of the 18th, I have ''denounced'' sonichu.info. But I… ''promise''… every one of you (my loyal, true Sonichu fans… especially the, uh, [[Sonichu Girls]]...—and, while I respect… ''men''… in general… I ''hate'' the [[homos]]).

I actually ''do'' have a past story… as I have realized from repressed memories back from the Greene County days. But I will not go further than that, 'cause y'all would have a field day… and try and t—twist it into your own evil ways, ''so''....

I'm ''straight'', and ''nothing'' is going to change that.

But, now, getting back to the issue at hand... of Soni—of the Sonichu site. Rest assured… [[Glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|[''removes glasses dramatically'']]]… a brand new… sonichu.''com''… ''will'' be the official… Sonichu site. So… pay at—so… keep an eye out! Keep an eye out.

Peace!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]]|nextlink=[[CWC Update 26 January 2009]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2009-01-21]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, January 2009| 2009-01-21]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2009-01-21]]

Nathanael Greene Elementary School

2017-02-05T13:03:59Z

RedVine01: /* Chris's other side of the story */

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:Nathaniel Greene School.jpg|thumb|Nathanael Greene Elementary School, Stanardsville]]

'''Nathanael Greene Elementary School''' is an elementary school in [[Wikipedia:Stanardsville, Virginia|Stanardsville, Virginia]], a 192-acre (78-ha) town (to put that in perspective, [[Wikipedia:Cuyamaca Community College|this community college]] is about the same size as the whole town), which basically consists of a highway intersection. The school is named for the [[Wikipedia:American Revolutionary War|Revolutionary War]] hero [[Wikipedia:Nathanael Greene|Nathanael Greene]]. [[Chris]] attended [[Wikipedia:Fourth grade|fourth-grade]] classes at this school. To this day, he consistently misspells the school's namesake as "Nathan'''i'''el Greene."

[[Bob]] pulled Chris out of the school after Chris was allegedly abused by [[Bruce Johnson|the principal]] and members of the staff.

{{quote|...they abused me by pinning me to the ground with, uh, their ha--with, uh holding my wrists and my ankles|Chris on his teachers and principals<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>}}

Chris has also claimed that his time at Nathanael Greene inspired and justifies his hatred for [[homos]], since [[Bruce Johnson|the principal]] who allegedly assaulted him was supposedly gay.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009]]</ref> If this sounds a little odd to you, well, we're just getting started.

Based on "physical abuse from 5 faculty members", Chris's parents took the case to [[Wikipedia:Greene County, Virginia|Greene County]] court. After the school board threatened to take Chris out of mainstream schools, Bob and Chris moved to [[Wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>

==Why Chris left==
{{quote|There was conflict over where he would have his schooling. The school system or the Department of Social Services had attempted to place the patient in a special school. His parents were very adamant that he be in a mainstream high school. In order to maintain custody of the patient, the patient's father moved them to Richmond, Virginia.|Jeff Raynor, M.D., 5 November 2004<ref>[[Autism papers]]</ref>}}

The [[autism papers]] confirm that Chris's parents moved him out of Greene County to avoid the possibility of having Chris admitted to a special school. Still, a clear picture of what actually took place has never come together. In his accounts of and references to the incident, Chris unsurprisingly leaves out important details (such as what prompted the school staff to "abuse" him) and tends to spin the story in a way that favors him.

==Chris's side of the story==
Though Chris does briefly complain about getting an "F" in the fourth grade during the "[[Song of Christian]]", he doesn't mention anything else about his time at Nathanael Greene in that video. The earliest documented mention by Chris of the incident which led to his departure from the school was made in 2003 in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] in which Chris blamed the incident on the faculty's lack of knowledge on how to deal with an autistic child. Chris alluded to the incident once more in [[Story of My Current Days]] ("my torturing past with the jerks of the Greene County School System") but did not elaborate any further. His earliest detailed account of the incident appears in his first major YouTube address to the world, from 7 [[November 2007]].

{{quote|...some of the teachers and principals of Nathanael Greene Elementary School… that I was attending in later years (about, uh, late 1980s, early 1990s) [inhales sharply] They abused me—they abused me by pinning me to the ground with, uh, their ha—with, uh, holding my wrists and my ankles, pinning me down to the ground and—and audio-taping my cries and shouts. But, anyway, my mother and my father, they both fought the court system, the Greene County court system, which, uh, they were not a very nice bunch of people, very not. Hands down. But, anyway, we eventually moved to Chesterfield County for a nice, better school system.|Chris, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]}}

He recounted a similar, but shorter version of the story in his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#His_Early_Years_-_Birth_to_1992|Wikipedia profile]].

{{quote|Some conflict between my mother, father and the school system occurred after physical abuse from 5 faculty members late in my 4th Grade; my parents took the case against the Greene County School Board for a year or two. The board threatened to lock me away in an institution, and my family did not want that, so in September, 1992, my family and I moved to Chesterfield County, while keeping our Ruckersville Home, for better Schooling.|Chris, on Wikipedia, 01 May 2009.}}

In the [[Father Call]], from [[November 2009]], Chris brought up the incident more or less out of nowhere, seemingly as a bid for sympathy.

{{quote|Yeah, well, how about being pinned down by three teachers, a guidance counselor, and an elementary school ... prinstapull ... and having your screams and cries recorded on audiotape like a torture chamber? ... They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. I even ended up with a rash on my neck from that thing, among other things! And we had to find a school system, they wanted to put me in a mental institution!|Chris, [[Father Call]]}}

One of the [[Common Questions]] Chris answered in the Mailbag in November 2009 asked him to list the 10 worst things that had happened in his life. The elementary-school incident came in at number 10.

{{quote|Being pinned down on the floor by a teacher, two teacher aides, the Guidance Counsoler and the Principal on the floor and having my screams and cries recorded onto audiocassete back in 4th Grade.|It was worse than The Autism, but not as bad as leaving high school.}}

==Chris's other side of the story==
In early 2009, Chris began to reveal another facet to his story, claiming that the principal was a [[pedofork|pedophile]]. He alluded to this element of the story in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|Captain's Log video]] from 21 January 2009, where he hinted that he (obviously [[Lie|lying]] through his teeth in order to bawww to his audience) had uncovered "repressed memories." Chris later went into a bit more detail in [[Mumble 3]].

{{quote|Oh yes. [[Bruce Johnson|Doctor Johnson]] of Nathanael Greene Elementary. The principal. He was a h- he was uh, the homo... that pretty much set me against... the homos and further kept me on the straight path.|Chris, [[Mumble 3]].}}

In an IRC chat from around the same time, Chris had more to say about Principal Johnson, as well as his father's campaign against the school board that later ensued.

{{quote|Back in my Green County Days, The Principle of the Nathanel Greene Elemetary School, Dr. Johnson, was a Homo, and when I was sent to his office; he picked me up, set me on his lap, then I would always get off his lap, because I ALWAYS HATED that; I felt bad vibes back then. Fortunately, it has never gone beyond that, and my father caught his intentions on that, and the Court Battles Started. He likely exagerates, but my father knew that there were a bunch of homos within that school board, and that was why they hated me and my family, in addition to those people not understanding Autism. Anyway, from those past memories, that is why I have grown up to Rarely Associate with men, and why I DESPIE THE HOMOS the Worst.|Chris, on IRC, circa 21 January 2009.}}
[[File:Asperchu Principal Parody.JPG|thumb|left|After he told Alec in that phone call, it was parodied in [[Asperchu]]]]

Chris recounted another version of the story in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]], when Alec claimed that homosexuals had never done him any harm.

{{quote|I was abused by one! A homosexual principal at my elementary school, slapped me on his lap, said some offensive, said some offensive things to me, and I felt uncomfortable, so I jumped off his lap and hid under his desk.|Chris, setting himself up for another parody.}}

When Alec pressed him to explain what those "offensive things" were, Chris couldn't recall any details. Bear in mind that Chris considers anything offensive if it's something he doesn't want to hear, so Bruce was probably just telling Chris to study harder or behave better or something similar.

Given the fragmented nature of Chris's accounts, it's not clear whether he believes that the principal's-lap incident and the pinned-down-and-taped incident were directly connected. Certainly it's easy to imagine how they might be linked together: Chris goes to see the principal, he feels threatened, he becomes agitated, then more staff members have to be called in to deal with the problem. Another possibility is that he threw a hissy fit over [[Song of Christian|getting an F on an assignment]] and the situation got out of hand. However, a more complete and reliable version of the story (or stories) has yet to be discovered.

Chris's beliefs that he was molested and that there was a conspiracy to have him institutionalized is most likely inspired by Bob, who has delusions of things like unidentified possible [[homos]]exuals, [[Megan Schroeder]], and [[Michael Snyder]] [[Matthew Noble call|all being in collusion to get Chris kicked out of]] [[the GAMe PLACe]]. Bob's attribution of that incident to an imaginary cabal instead of Chris's behavior also shows a similar pattern of accountability on behalf of the Chandlers.

==Missing details==
Obviously, there are several oddities and inconsistencies in Chris's stories. This may be a deliberate attempt to cover up the truth, or simply the result of Chris unconsciously conflating and exaggerating his garbled memories of the event.

*Chris has never clearly explained what triggered these incidents. According to all of his accounts, the school faculty either assaulted him without provocation or for lustful or sadistic reasons.
*Public schools are required to have faculty experienced with special education, so it's doubtful that Chris was surrounded entirely by people who didn't understand his condition.
*As a rule, elementary school principals aren't supposed to let kids sit on their lap for the exact reason Chris was afraid of: it's inappropriate behavior. It's quite likely, however, that Johnson was just trying to comfort Chris and forgot the rule.
*On top of that, the odds that an openly gay man would be employed as an educator in the conservative South in the early 1990s are slim to none.

Furthermore, this assumes that Chris's claims of abuse by his principal aren't entirely fabricated to begin with. For starters, his line about "repressed memories" is fishy, and the revelation becomes even more suspect in light of its timing.

Chris first mentioned his recollection of the incident in a video recorded right after his [[IRC (20 January 2009)|20 January 2009 IRC chat]], where [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] accused him of being a closeted homosexual and mocked his irrationally aggressive homophobia. It's quite possible that Chris invented the story about being abused as an excuse to defend his homophobia and a means of further proving his straightness — since he was abused by a gay man, goes Chris's unique version of logic, that means he can't be one himself, and likewise that incident of abuse justifies his irrational hatred of gay people in general.

As for the more thoroughly-documented incident where Chris supposedly had to be subdued and tape-recorded, it's most likely that Chris's autistic behavior was difficult for the school's staff to control, and the district sought evidence to prove that Chris needed to be moved out of mainstream schools. Evidence like this could also be used as evidence of parental neglect or incompetence in choosing to avoid the obvious care a child with mental disabilities needs.

==The "institution"==
A critical gap in the story concerns exactly where Chris would have gone if he had been removed from the mainstream school system, as the Nathanael Greene staff proposed. As mentioned above, the psychiatrist who conducted Chris's [[autism papers|psychiatric survey]] in [[2004]] described it as a "special school," but Chris generally refers to it using harsher terms like "institution" or "mental institution," as in the [[Father_Call#Experience_and_respect|Father Call]] and his [[Jackie_e-mails#Chris_got_his_degree_for_Cwcville|e-mails with Jackie]], presumably because his parents have referred to it in such a manner.

One clue appears in the [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_Lies_About_The_Game_Place|Jackie communications]], where Chris calls it "that Winchester Mental Institution." [[:wikipedia:Winchester, Virginia|Winchester]] is a small city in the Shenandoah Valley area of northwestern Virginia, and it's home to the [http://www.grafton.org Grafton School], a well-established school and group home that specializes in, among other things, the education and treatment of young people with autism. Some observers speculate that this may be where Chris would have been sent had his parents not insisted on mainstreaming him.

The reasons why his parents were so adamant to keep him in a "normal" or "mainstream" educational environment aren't hard to guess. Not surprisingly, most of these objections are self-centered and are really about the parents' own feelings, not their child's needs. Like many parents whose children have special needs:

* They may have felt that Chris's need for "special care" would reflect poorly on them as parents.
* They may have assumed that Chris and/or his family would be stigmatized by being put in a special school.
* They may have assumed that Chris would be limited in future opportunities by being put in a special school.
* They may have feared that a greater financial burden would be imposed upon them if Chris was moved to a special school.
* They may have assumed that Chris's problem "wasn't a big deal," while educators who spent most of the day with him saw the reality of the situation.
* They, by Chris's own admission, thought that the school was going to lock Chris up in a padded cell for the rest of his life with no chances to make friends ever.

==The aftermath==
After pulling Chris out of Nathanael Greene, [[Bob Chandler]] unsuccessfully took legal action against the school district. His case was eventually dropped in 1994. In 1992, Chris's family moved him away to the Richmond suburbs in order to keep him in mainstream classrooms, a crucial step in the development of the Chris we know and love today.

In subsequent years, Chris has taken the notion (which supposedly originated with his father) of an autism-hating homosexual conspiracy to drive him from the school system and inflated it into something even more unlikely. In a [[100 2178|May 2010 YouTube video]] he imagines that they are also responsible for forcing him to move away from his high-school friends in Richmond and getting him kicked out of [[The GAMe PLACe]].

The decision to mainstream Chris at all costs is perhaps the most significant turning point in his development. Had he received an education more effectively tailored to his needs and learned more about his condition beyond how to use it as an excuse, he might have become a substantially more well-adjusted adult. Unfortunately, we will never know.

To this day, all of the residents of [[14 Branchland Court]] consider it the wisest decision they have ever made.

==The Facebook Review==
On 4 [[September 2013]], Chris posted a 1-star review on an unofficial [[Facebook]] page of the elementary school, showing that he ''still'' hates the elementary school to this day:

{{quote|The teachers, counselors, and Principal here back in the early 90s physically abused and attempted molestation upon me, mentally and emotionally scarring me for life, because they did not understand or care for [[Autism|Autistic People (High-Functioning or Otherwise)]]|[[Christian Weston Chandler]] as he continues to look into his past.}}

==See also==
*[[Bruce Johnson]]
*[[Greene County Conspiracy]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://greenecounty.va.schoolwebpages.com/education/school/school.php?sectiondetailid=22 School website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Nathanael Greene Elementary School

2017-02-05T13:02:33Z

RedVine01: /* Chris's other side of the story */

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:Nathaniel Greene School.jpg|thumb|Nathanael Greene Elementary School, Stanardsville]]

'''Nathanael Greene Elementary School''' is an elementary school in [[Wikipedia:Stanardsville, Virginia|Stanardsville, Virginia]], a 192-acre (78-ha) town (to put that in perspective, [[Wikipedia:Cuyamaca Community College|this community college]] is about the same size as the whole town), which basically consists of a highway intersection. The school is named for the [[Wikipedia:American Revolutionary War|Revolutionary War]] hero [[Wikipedia:Nathanael Greene|Nathanael Greene]]. [[Chris]] attended [[Wikipedia:Fourth grade|fourth-grade]] classes at this school. To this day, he consistently misspells the school's namesake as "Nathan'''i'''el Greene."

[[Bob]] pulled Chris out of the school after Chris was allegedly abused by [[Bruce Johnson|the principal]] and members of the staff.

{{quote|...they abused me by pinning me to the ground with, uh, their ha--with, uh holding my wrists and my ankles|Chris on his teachers and principals<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>}}

Chris has also claimed that his time at Nathanael Greene inspired and justifies his hatred for [[homos]], since [[Bruce Johnson|the principal]] who allegedly assaulted him was supposedly gay.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009]]</ref> If this sounds a little odd to you, well, we're just getting started.

Based on "physical abuse from 5 faculty members", Chris's parents took the case to [[Wikipedia:Greene County, Virginia|Greene County]] court. After the school board threatened to take Chris out of mainstream schools, Bob and Chris moved to [[Wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>

==Why Chris left==
{{quote|There was conflict over where he would have his schooling. The school system or the Department of Social Services had attempted to place the patient in a special school. His parents were very adamant that he be in a mainstream high school. In order to maintain custody of the patient, the patient's father moved them to Richmond, Virginia.|Jeff Raynor, M.D., 5 November 2004<ref>[[Autism papers]]</ref>}}

The [[autism papers]] confirm that Chris's parents moved him out of Greene County to avoid the possibility of having Chris admitted to a special school. Still, a clear picture of what actually took place has never come together. In his accounts of and references to the incident, Chris unsurprisingly leaves out important details (such as what prompted the school staff to "abuse" him) and tends to spin the story in a way that favors him.

==Chris's side of the story==
Though Chris does briefly complain about getting an "F" in the fourth grade during the "[[Song of Christian]]", he doesn't mention anything else about his time at Nathanael Greene in that video. The earliest documented mention by Chris of the incident which led to his departure from the school was made in 2003 in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] in which Chris blamed the incident on the faculty's lack of knowledge on how to deal with an autistic child. Chris alluded to the incident once more in [[Story of My Current Days]] ("my torturing past with the jerks of the Greene County School System") but did not elaborate any further. His earliest detailed account of the incident appears in his first major YouTube address to the world, from 7 [[November 2007]].

{{quote|...some of the teachers and principals of Nathanael Greene Elementary School… that I was attending in later years (about, uh, late 1980s, early 1990s) [inhales sharply] They abused me—they abused me by pinning me to the ground with, uh, their ha—with, uh, holding my wrists and my ankles, pinning me down to the ground and—and audio-taping my cries and shouts. But, anyway, my mother and my father, they both fought the court system, the Greene County court system, which, uh, they were not a very nice bunch of people, very not. Hands down. But, anyway, we eventually moved to Chesterfield County for a nice, better school system.|Chris, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]}}

He recounted a similar, but shorter version of the story in his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#His_Early_Years_-_Birth_to_1992|Wikipedia profile]].

{{quote|Some conflict between my mother, father and the school system occurred after physical abuse from 5 faculty members late in my 4th Grade; my parents took the case against the Greene County School Board for a year or two. The board threatened to lock me away in an institution, and my family did not want that, so in September, 1992, my family and I moved to Chesterfield County, while keeping our Ruckersville Home, for better Schooling.|Chris, on Wikipedia, 01 May 2009.}}

In the [[Father Call]], from [[November 2009]], Chris brought up the incident more or less out of nowhere, seemingly as a bid for sympathy.

{{quote|Yeah, well, how about being pinned down by three teachers, a guidance counselor, and an elementary school ... prinstapull ... and having your screams and cries recorded on audiotape like a torture chamber? ... They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. I even ended up with a rash on my neck from that thing, among other things! And we had to find a school system, they wanted to put me in a mental institution!|Chris, [[Father Call]]}}

One of the [[Common Questions]] Chris answered in the Mailbag in November 2009 asked him to list the 10 worst things that had happened in his life. The elementary-school incident came in at number 10.

{{quote|Being pinned down on the floor by a teacher, two teacher aides, the Guidance Counsoler and the Principal on the floor and having my screams and cries recorded onto audiocassete back in 4th Grade.|It was worse than The Autism, but not as bad as leaving high school.}}

==Chris's other side of the story==
In early 2009, Chris began to reveal another facet to his story, claiming that the principal was a [[pedofork|pedophile]]. He alluded to this element of the story in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|Captain's Log video]] from 21 January 2009, where he hinted that he (obviously [[List of Chris' lies|lying]] through his teeth in order to bawww to his audience) had uncovered "repressed memories." Chris later went into a bit more detail in [[Mumble 3]].

{{quote|Oh yes. [[Bruce Johnson|Doctor Johnson]] of Nathanael Greene Elementary. The principal. He was a h- he was uh, the homo... that pretty much set me against... the homos and further kept me on the straight path.|Chris, [[Mumble 3]].}}

In an IRC chat from around the same time, Chris had more to say about Principal Johnson, as well as his father's campaign against the school board that later ensued.

{{quote|Back in my Green County Days, The Principle of the Nathanel Greene Elemetary School, Dr. Johnson, was a Homo, and when I was sent to his office; he picked me up, set me on his lap, then I would always get off his lap, because I ALWAYS HATED that; I felt bad vibes back then. Fortunately, it has never gone beyond that, and my father caught his intentions on that, and the Court Battles Started. He likely exagerates, but my father knew that there were a bunch of homos within that school board, and that was why they hated me and my family, in addition to those people not understanding Autism. Anyway, from those past memories, that is why I have grown up to Rarely Associate with men, and why I DESPIE THE HOMOS the Worst.|Chris, on IRC, circa 21 January 2009.}}
[[File:Asperchu Principal Parody.JPG|thumb|left|After he told Alec in that phone call, it was parodied in [[Asperchu]]]]

Chris recounted another version of the story in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]], when Alec claimed that homosexuals had never done him any harm.

{{quote|I was abused by one! A homosexual principal at my elementary school, slapped me on his lap, said some offensive, said some offensive things to me, and I felt uncomfortable, so I jumped off his lap and hid under his desk.|Chris, setting himself up for another parody.}}

When Alec pressed him to explain what those "offensive things" were, Chris couldn't recall any details. Bear in mind that Chris considers anything offensive if it's something he doesn't want to hear, so Bruce was probably just telling Chris to study harder or behave better or something similar.

Given the fragmented nature of Chris's accounts, it's not clear whether he believes that the principal's-lap incident and the pinned-down-and-taped incident were directly connected. Certainly it's easy to imagine how they might be linked together: Chris goes to see the principal, he feels threatened, he becomes agitated, then more staff members have to be called in to deal with the problem. Another possibility is that he threw a hissy fit over [[Song of Christian|getting an F on an assignment]] and the situation got out of hand. However, a more complete and reliable version of the story (or stories) has yet to be discovered.

Chris's beliefs that he was molested and that there was a conspiracy to have him institutionalized is most likely inspired by Bob, who has delusions of things like unidentified possible [[homos]]exuals, [[Megan Schroeder]], and [[Michael Snyder]] [[Matthew Noble call|all being in collusion to get Chris kicked out of]] [[the GAMe PLACe]]. Bob's attribution of that incident to an imaginary cabal instead of Chris's behavior also shows a similar pattern of accountability on behalf of the Chandlers.

==Missing details==
Obviously, there are several oddities and inconsistencies in Chris's stories. This may be a deliberate attempt to cover up the truth, or simply the result of Chris unconsciously conflating and exaggerating his garbled memories of the event.

*Chris has never clearly explained what triggered these incidents. According to all of his accounts, the school faculty either assaulted him without provocation or for lustful or sadistic reasons.
*Public schools are required to have faculty experienced with special education, so it's doubtful that Chris was surrounded entirely by people who didn't understand his condition.
*As a rule, elementary school principals aren't supposed to let kids sit on their lap for the exact reason Chris was afraid of: it's inappropriate behavior. It's quite likely, however, that Johnson was just trying to comfort Chris and forgot the rule.
*On top of that, the odds that an openly gay man would be employed as an educator in the conservative South in the early 1990s are slim to none.

Furthermore, this assumes that Chris's claims of abuse by his principal aren't entirely fabricated to begin with. For starters, his line about "repressed memories" is fishy, and the revelation becomes even more suspect in light of its timing.

Chris first mentioned his recollection of the incident in a video recorded right after his [[IRC (20 January 2009)|20 January 2009 IRC chat]], where [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] accused him of being a closeted homosexual and mocked his irrationally aggressive homophobia. It's quite possible that Chris invented the story about being abused as an excuse to defend his homophobia and a means of further proving his straightness — since he was abused by a gay man, goes Chris's unique version of logic, that means he can't be one himself, and likewise that incident of abuse justifies his irrational hatred of gay people in general.

As for the more thoroughly-documented incident where Chris supposedly had to be subdued and tape-recorded, it's most likely that Chris's autistic behavior was difficult for the school's staff to control, and the district sought evidence to prove that Chris needed to be moved out of mainstream schools. Evidence like this could also be used as evidence of parental neglect or incompetence in choosing to avoid the obvious care a child with mental disabilities needs.

==The "institution"==
A critical gap in the story concerns exactly where Chris would have gone if he had been removed from the mainstream school system, as the Nathanael Greene staff proposed. As mentioned above, the psychiatrist who conducted Chris's [[autism papers|psychiatric survey]] in [[2004]] described it as a "special school," but Chris generally refers to it using harsher terms like "institution" or "mental institution," as in the [[Father_Call#Experience_and_respect|Father Call]] and his [[Jackie_e-mails#Chris_got_his_degree_for_Cwcville|e-mails with Jackie]], presumably because his parents have referred to it in such a manner.

One clue appears in the [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_Lies_About_The_Game_Place|Jackie communications]], where Chris calls it "that Winchester Mental Institution." [[:wikipedia:Winchester, Virginia|Winchester]] is a small city in the Shenandoah Valley area of northwestern Virginia, and it's home to the [http://www.grafton.org Grafton School], a well-established school and group home that specializes in, among other things, the education and treatment of young people with autism. Some observers speculate that this may be where Chris would have been sent had his parents not insisted on mainstreaming him.

The reasons why his parents were so adamant to keep him in a "normal" or "mainstream" educational environment aren't hard to guess. Not surprisingly, most of these objections are self-centered and are really about the parents' own feelings, not their child's needs. Like many parents whose children have special needs:

* They may have felt that Chris's need for "special care" would reflect poorly on them as parents.
* They may have assumed that Chris and/or his family would be stigmatized by being put in a special school.
* They may have assumed that Chris would be limited in future opportunities by being put in a special school.
* They may have feared that a greater financial burden would be imposed upon them if Chris was moved to a special school.
* They may have assumed that Chris's problem "wasn't a big deal," while educators who spent most of the day with him saw the reality of the situation.
* They, by Chris's own admission, thought that the school was going to lock Chris up in a padded cell for the rest of his life with no chances to make friends ever.

==The aftermath==
After pulling Chris out of Nathanael Greene, [[Bob Chandler]] unsuccessfully took legal action against the school district. His case was eventually dropped in 1994. In 1992, Chris's family moved him away to the Richmond suburbs in order to keep him in mainstream classrooms, a crucial step in the development of the Chris we know and love today.

In subsequent years, Chris has taken the notion (which supposedly originated with his father) of an autism-hating homosexual conspiracy to drive him from the school system and inflated it into something even more unlikely. In a [[100 2178|May 2010 YouTube video]] he imagines that they are also responsible for forcing him to move away from his high-school friends in Richmond and getting him kicked out of [[The GAMe PLACe]].

The decision to mainstream Chris at all costs is perhaps the most significant turning point in his development. Had he received an education more effectively tailored to his needs and learned more about his condition beyond how to use it as an excuse, he might have become a substantially more well-adjusted adult. Unfortunately, we will never know.

To this day, all of the residents of [[14 Branchland Court]] consider it the wisest decision they have ever made.

==The Facebook Review==
On 4 [[September 2013]], Chris posted a 1-star review on an unofficial [[Facebook]] page of the elementary school, showing that he ''still'' hates the elementary school to this day:

{{quote|The teachers, counselors, and Principal here back in the early 90s physically abused and attempted molestation upon me, mentally and emotionally scarring me for life, because they did not understand or care for [[Autism|Autistic People (High-Functioning or Otherwise)]]|[[Christian Weston Chandler]] as he continues to look into his past.}}

==See also==
*[[Bruce Johnson]]
*[[Greene County Conspiracy]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://greenecounty.va.schoolwebpages.com/education/school/school.php?sectiondetailid=22 School website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Common Questions

2017-02-05T12:58:00Z

RedVine01: /* 22 February 2010 */

In late [[December 2009]], the [[CWCipedia]] [[Mailbag|Mailbags]] gained a new subsection, a series of short questions allegedly asked by many people who had written to Chris. Chris was surprisingly diligent about answering all of these '''Common Questions''' (normal people would call them "Frequently Asked Questions" - "FAQ") with every new Mailbag. The answers, unsurprisingly, were erratic at best. Sometimes Chris provided [[Honest Content|far too much information]], and other times he would provide a single word in response when a longer answer would have been expected. On occasion, he would change the text in the question itself to suit his needs, a practice of editing he'd been using in the mailbags since day one.

All of his answers have been compiled here, arranged by the date on which he answered them.

==28 December 2009==

*'''Q: Have you ever read any books on how to go about creating [[art]]? e.g. [[Wikipedia:Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain|Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain]], [[Wikipedia:The Elements of Style|The Elements of Style]], How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way, [[Mailbag 26#In which Chris's brain starts to work!|On Writing]], or things like internet tutorials?'''
::A: [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|I have read such books]], and I have taken many [[art]]s classes too.

*'''Q: If you were a director [[A CWC Audition|in Hollywood]], what kinds of films would you make?'''
::A: Action/Steamy ([[Chris and English|Striaght]]) Romance

*'''Q: You said you read [[R.L. Stine]] books when you were in high school. What kind of books do you read now? "Literary" fiction? Genre, like mystery or horror or science fiction? Nonfiction?'''
::A: I read less books now, although the last book I read was [[Wikipedia:Pamela Anderson|Pamela Anderson]]'s Star.

*'''Q: Have you considered creating non-Sonichu comics or stories?'''
::A: Yes, and the ideas are still in my head.

*'''Q: Have you ever accepted and used constructive criticism in your comics? Or do you blow off anything anyone says that is slightly negative, even if their intentions are to help you improve your art?'''
::A: I have accepted and used ideas and criticism one such example was the [[Sonichu Fan Promo|Sonichu Animations from YouTube User: Timmys1984]]; it was very good, yet the lines were wrong originally. At least I have set that record straight in my [[Sonichu 9|9th Book]].

*'''Q: Why do you steal jokes from so many other sources (i.e. [[Family Guy]] and [[Excel Saga]]) and put it in your comics? It isn't very original and you can't come up with an original concept if all the humor in your comics is stolen.'''
::A: Like Family Guy, [[The Simpsons|Simpsons]], Excel Saga, and even [[South Park]], taking jokes is of acceptable practice; it works when the author is short on original jokes, and wants to fill in a good one. Everybody does it. "[[wikipedia:Simpsons_Already_Did_It|Simpsons Did It]]."

*'''Q: Describe your artistic process. How do you get inspiration for ideas for your comics? What goes through your head when you draw and color your comics?'''
::A: I get the idea beforehand in random thought/imagination/dream, get pen and paper and write/draw it out. A lot goes through my head, and it is hard for me as a [[Chris and his Ego|creative genius]] to remember it all on-the-spot verbatim.

*'''Q: We all know you have [[autism]], but exactly what type do you have? There are multiple types on the spectrum.'''
::A: High-Functioning Autism.

*'''Q: What do you plan to do after you have found your true [[sweetheart]] and had your daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]?'''
::A: I will live my family life as I had dreamed and waited for happily.

*'''Q: What would you do if either of you turned out to be infertile?'''
::A: That is just plain stupid; I am VERY Fertile; Certified in the Medical Clinic, and I would make sure my woman has not hit Menopause yet.

*'''Q: What would you do if you found your sweetheart, fell in love with her, married her, but she could only give birth to male children?.'''
::A: It is a 50/50 chance among all women; I trust God to come through in his promise as he has told me before. I will keep trying though; I am not [[Wikipedia:Henry VIII of England|King Henry VIII]].

*'''Q: Aside from creating Sonichu and Rosechu and excluding your future accomplishment of getting a true sweetheart and having your daughter Crystal, what is your greatest accomplishment in life and why?'''
::A: Graduating [[Manchester_High_School|High School]] and [[College]]; I have learned a LOT and met the requirements; it's all good.

*'''Q: What are your top five priorities in life and why?'''
::A: 1) Good [[Health]] - Who wants to be ill or sick? 2) Happiness - I don't like being sad. 3) Love - I want to feel loved and appreciated by my closest ones. 4) Projects/Job - It gives me something to do. 5) [[Money]] - It does not make the world go around, but everyone wants it to feel like they are getting something out of a deal.

*'''Q: If you were made the absolute leader of the entire world for a day and your word was taken as law, what sorts of things would you do to make the world a better place?'''
::A: [[Chris and reality|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples]], leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All [[gays]] would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.

*'''Q: What about fucking [[sex toys|sex dolls]], [[masturbating]], drawing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|smut]]? Isn't this all forbidden for true Christians?'''
::A: It is not forbidden; that would be the Jews who are against those things, and I am not Jewish, and I respect them as [[Michael Snyder|individual people.]]

*'''Q: Contrary to what you stated in issue 8, the age of consent in most of the United States is BELOW 18 (17 or 16). What is your opinion on this?'''
::A: I understand that SOME states have that law, and I feel that it is good; [[Pedofork|it broadens the range by one or two years, so one would feel lest restricted]].

*'''Q: What would you say is the most romantic thing you have ever done with or to a woman?'''
::A: [[The Creepy Stare|Sensual, emotionally-linked eye-contact]].

*'''Q: We've been hearing about your creations becoming more and more popular amongst the gay community. What are your thoughts on this?'''
::A: Firstly, their perspectives of my work are flawed; they misunderstand some points, and I do not care for that at all; It is a STRAIGHT Comic; [[Homos]]exuality Lifestyle is HEAVILY DISCOURAGED and DETESTED. Second, I really feel hatred in them placing MY characters in their events WRONGFULLY, even in... [[It's UGH!|UGH!!!]]... pride parades and essays promoting their lifestyle. All of My [[Magi-Chan|Sonichus]] and [[Silvana|Rosechus]] Are Straight! And I Am Straight! DO NOT SAY OTHERWISE, Because It is Mislabeling; it is Very Wrong, and I DO NOT APPRECIATE IT AT ALL.

*'''Q: Do you plan to give an ending to Sonichu's story?'''
::A: [[Chris and reality|No]].

*'''Q: Do Sonichu and Rosechu have full names (that is, two-part names, like all other Sonichus and Rosechus)? If so, what are they?'''
::A: No, they are the very first Sonichu and Rosechu, so they do not have such names.

*'''Q: Will [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Eevails]], or possibly some other [[Tails]]-like creature, appear in your comic?'''
::A: No.

==31 December 2009==

*'''Q: What do you think about people harassing others over [[PlayStation]] home?'''
::A: I do not like it at all.

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst movies you have ever <s>seen</s> heard of and would never ever watch in your entire life?'''
::A: [[Homos|''Brokeback Mountain'']], [[Wikipedia:Borat|''Borat'']], [[Homos|''Bruno, Crying Game'']], ''[[Wikipedia:Krull (film)|Krull]]''.

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst TV shows you have ever <s>seen</s> heard of and would never ever watch in your entire life?'''
::A: I am unsure.

''Note: Chris added the strikeouts himself.''

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst video games you have ever played?'''
::A: I am unsure.

*'''Q: What are the 5 best movies you have ever seen?'''
::A: [[Mary Poppins]], All [[Transformers]] Movies, Both [[Ghostbusters|Ghostbuster]] Movies, [[Saw|All Saw Movies]], [[Wikipedia:The 40-Year Old Virgin|The 40-Year Old Virgin]].

*'''Q: What are the 5 best TV shows you have ever seen?'''
::A: [[Transformers]] (ALL Seasons and Sets), [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (All Shows), [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] (All Seasons), [[Wikipedia:Mythbusters|Mythbusters]], [[Filmation's Ghostbusters]] (Little Care for "The Real Ghostbusters"; Jake, Eddie and Tracy WERE THE [[Honest_Content#True_and_Honest,_HOnest_and_True|ORIGINAL]] REAL GHOSTBUSTERS).

*'''Q: What are the 5 best video games you have ever played?'''
::A: All [[Sonic|Sonic the Hedgehog Titles]], [[LittleBiGPlanet]] ([[PS3]] AND [[PSP]]), All [[Guitar Hero]] Titles, All [[Animal Crossing]] Titles, All Pok'emon Titles.

*'''Q: Have you read classic comics like: [[Wikipedia:A Contract With God|A Contract With God]], [[Wikipedia:Maus|Maus]], [[Wikipedia:Watchmen|Watchmen]], or [[Wikipedia:The Sandman (Vertigo)|The Sandman]]?'''
::A: Superman, Spider-Man and the like.

*'''Q: Could you mention any specific titles or series of comics you have read (besides Sonic the Hedgehog)?'''
::A: Superman, Spider-Man and the like.

*'''Q: What's your creative process like?'''
::A: [[Random]], Extensive, [[Autism|Tough to Comprehend]] sometimes...

*'''Q: How do you go about creating each comic--do you do storyboards or scriptwriting beforehand?'''
::A: Mental Storyboards and Scriptwriting, but I do write some of it out on paper.

*'''Q: How far in advance do you plan the story?'''
::A: About weeks to months in advance.

*'''Q: Besides Sonic, Pokemon, and your daily struggles, what inspires your writing and art?'''
::A: [[Things Chris has ripped off|Other shows, comics, video games]], and most importantly my Evan|Fans. :)

*'''Q: Did any specific comic book inspire you to create your own?'''
::A: I'd say the [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|Sonic the Hedgehog Comic Book Series]]

*'''Q: Why comics as opposed to short stories/novels?'''
::A: I enjoy drawing, and I feel better with having pictures to associate the words with.

*'''Q: Would you ever consider getting a massage?'''
::A: Yes, from Women Only.

*'''Q: What is your purpose in life?'''
::A: Does anyone really know their own [[China|ONE TRUE purpose in life]]? We mostly are supposed to live one moment and day at a time as best we can to make us individually feel [[Love Quest|satisfied]] and at peace.

*'''Q: Do you believe in an afterlife?'''
::A: [[Chris and Religion#Afterlife|Yes]].

*'''Q: What do you think happens after we die?'''
::A: Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and [[Chris and Religion|possibly Reincarnation]].

==1 January 2010==

*'''Q: Where do you think you'll go after you die and why do you think that will be the case?'''
::A: I do my best and what I can to end up in [[Heaven]] , [[Lie|I do a lot of good deeds]].

*'''Q: You follow the Bible rigorously and believe homosexuality will send you to Hell. However, the Bible says that having unmarried sex will send you to Hell as well. Explain your reasonings you choose to ignore God's word and not waiting until after marriage but instead "after the [[Third date|3rd date]]".'''
::A:Those more strict rules apply to the Jewish, especially the [[Wikipedia:Book of Leviticus|book of Leviticus]]. I am a Christian [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]], and as long as we feel comfortable and happy with our lives, if the Christian individual feels comfortable with [[Chris and sex|premarital sex]], then it is cool.

*'''Q: Can you justify your anti-homosexuality? How exactly?'''
::A: Yes; the Homos I have heard from try to push their damn lifestyle in my face, and I DO NOT CARE FOR THAT AT ALL; What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it.

*'''Q: Why does [[Rosechu]] wear clothes while Sonichu does not? Additionally, why are [[Lolisa]], [[DJ Jamsta]], and Rosechu the only Sonichus and Rosechus who wear clothing?'''
::A: Well, Why does Cindy Bear not wear clothes? Why does Mickey Mouse wear pants yet Sonic and Donald Duck do not? Why does Daisy Duck wear ONLY a Top, yet Minnie Mouse wears a skirt? IT'S A CARTOON; WHO CARES?!

*'''Q: Are the [[Sonichu comics|''Sonichu'' comics]] still aimed at children? If so, what age group?'''
::A: Yes, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Ages 7 and Up]].

*'''Q: I am really interested in your [[Lego]] CWCville, could you please draw an elaborate map of it for me?'''
::A: One Day, I will draw a map, although it is similar to the City of Cwcville, VA.

==5 January 2010==

*'''Q: If Sonichu got published how much would each Issue cost?'''
::A: I'd estimate $2.25, given the current shelf-comic prices. But ON the [[PS3|Playstation Network]]'s Digital Comic Service, I'd estimate $0.99 or $1.99 per Digital Issue.

*'''Q: How often does Sonichu have to stop and take breaks when he's running?'''
::A: He only stops for a rescue, social life, [[Obesity|eating a chili dog, tacos or whatever he feels like chowin' down]], and to relax at home with [[Robbie Sonee|his family]].

*'''Q: [[Virginia]] lets you to [[Wikipedia:Cousin marriage law in the United States by state|marry your first cousin]], but doesn't allow [[gays]] to marry. Do you think cousin-marriage is better than gay marriage? Why or why not?'''
::A: [[Chris and anger|WHAT THE F***?! WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT C***PIEST OF HEINOUS LIES ABOUT VIRGINIA?!]] Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER! In comparison, both unholy marriages are equally terrible.

==7 January 2010==

*'''Q: You said that you confess your sins and pray every night. What sins do you confess?'''
::A: To name a couple: I apologize right after each time I say something like "God damn" (I'm sorry, God); I confess and apologize for, if any that day, angry responses to my own father after he starts an arguement or gets on my nerves.

*'''Q: What exactly happened when you were called into [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s office?'''
::A: That was one time I would rather not go into or recall. She raised her voice at me in harsh tones about how "You won't be getting any women" or "Your methods are flawed and stupid" and even "You are Stupid, Christian". I responded very angrily and verbally abused her back. Then I was kicked out for a year with Anger management and psychiatrist assistance.

*'''Q: Why do you randomly capitalize words when you type?'''
::A: I do not type in Caps at Random; I type those phrases or words in caps to EMPHASIZE MY POINT OR FACT.

*'''Q: When did you first realize that you hated the homos? Do your parents hate them as much as you do?'''
::A: I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a [[Lesbian]]." That, combined with my PAST dislike of [[JERKS|MEN]] in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE! And I will say this again, '''SONICHU IS STRAIGHT, YOU DUMBASS GAYWADS.'''

==9 January 2010==

*'''Q: What do you think of people of different faiths other than your own (this includes [[Wikipedia:Satanism|Satanism]],[[Wikipedia:Atheism|Atheism]], [[Wikipedia:Agnosticism|Agnosticism]])'''
::A: For most other religions, I am of neutral opinion and have no objections to them whatsoever. But for ALL those of Satanism and Atheism; I do not care for those Non-Religions AT ALL. [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|I will not discriminate]] the people of those Non-Religions as Individual People.

*'''Q: How do you feel about [[Homos|the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual community]]? do they deserve the same rights as anyone else?'''
::A: As individual people, they all deserve Most Rights, but GAY MARRIAGE Should be made Illegal ALL Countries; Marriage is ONLY for Straight Man/Woman couples. I stand behind that most fully.

*'''Q: How do you feel about people of different political parties, political parties spanning from Anarchism to Fascism.'''
::A: As a Moderate (of Middle, Neutral Opinion), I have nothing against the other political parties. Mainly, because even though I do have the ability to learn about them, I know not ALL of the details of them.

*'''Q: How do you feel about Drugs? Drugs such as Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigarettes, [[Alcohol]], etc.'''
::A: I STAND FULLY AGAINST [[Tobacky|Cigarettes, Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigars]] and ALL other Drugs of the sort. The only exceptions are drugs that are Prescribed to the Individual Person, as long as they are not given to anyone they were not originally prescribed to, I have no objections. And Alcohol; in Responsible, Moderate amounts, it can be good for you, yet I do not support Too Much of it, as if left unchecked, irresponsible or unassisted, too much can lead to [[6 June 2010|fights that can lead to a trip to the hospital and automobile accidents]].

*'''Q: Do you hold any distaste for any worldly culture?'''
::A: Only those who fully promote smoking or such drugs that I have just elaborated against of.

*'''Q: Are you uncomfortable about [[Chris and race|people of Color]]? do you have any tensions towards them?'''
::A: I have no discomfort or tension against people of all colors. The only exception is in my choice of [[Sweetheart]] or Mate; No Personal Offense, but she can not be [[Niggos|Black]].

*'''Q: Are you disturbed or disgusted by different types of music?''' Many people dislike Death Metal: [http://tinyurl.com/ch2yl5 http://tinyurl.com/ch2yl5]
::A: I have agreement on some lyrics of Death Metal tracks, but the Tune, as long as it is not at loud volume, it is still good.

*'''Q: What do you think of our current president? Is he deceiving [[America]]ns as the Right Wing has expressed?'''
::A: I think [[Obama]] is doing okay, yet I disagree with his Health Plan; it is premature at the time, because we can not afford it yet. The Right Wing are sour, mean people; I give no concern to them.

*'''Q: Do you think Countries such as the Soviet Union or [[CWCville|North Korea]] Are actually Communist?'''
::A: I do not know much about those countries, so I can not give a full opinion on the topic. Although I do hate Communism; they are of wrong opinions and are considerably mean.

*'''Q: How do you think the situation in Afghanistan is going? Is there anything you would do different?'''
::A: I do not have full knowledge of that situation either.

*'''Q. Would you be willing to preform oral sex on a woman?'''
::A: Yes I would.

*'''Q. You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?'''
::A: Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and Reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet."

*'''Q. Have you ever thought about documenting your daily life? Kind of like a reality show?'''
::A: The topic has come to mind, yet I do not feel it appropriate yet.

*'''Q. Do you eat at restaurants other than [[McDonalds]] or [[Burger King]]?'''
::A: Yes, namely [[Golden Corral]], [[Country Cookin']] and iHop.

*'''Q. Do you ever consider playing [[Guitar Hero]] on expert instead of hard?'''
::A: I have played on Expert, and it is good.

*'''Q. What do you argue about with your dad?'''
::A: A number of things; I would not know where to begin on making the list of dumb topics he comes up with.

*'''Q. Why do you want to get the original [[Power Rangers]] back together? They're 40, no longer fit the costumes, one of them is dead, and one of them went to jail for drunk driving.'''
::A: Originally, I meant ONLY to '''[[Revive Zordon]]'''; I mean PRESIDENTS, POLICE CHIEFS and such Recruiting Power Rangers and Creating Zords? Not only is it Trite and LAME, it is not as CLASSIC or Good Quality as Zordon.

*'''Q. Do your parents freak out about you playing with [[My Little Pony|girl's toys]] when you're a grown man?'''
::A: No, they do not, and I gave that up [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|long ago]].

*'''Q. What other ideas did you think of to attract women before you settled on a cardboard sign?'''
::A: Newspaper/Magazine Ads, Online Dating Sites, Video Dating Services to name a few; [[Chris and Money|THEY COST MONEY]].

*'''Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?'''
::A: I am ALREADY GROWN UP; I am 27 Years Old, going on 28. I am a great artist, and I am looking forward to an Office Job.

==15 January 2010==

*'''Q: If you could change the law, how would you change it? and you said you would outlaw the [[friend zone]]? why? what happened to a woman's right to choose who she wants to be with?'''
::A: Nothing has happened in [[Women's Rights]]; the "Friend Zone" is only the LOUSIEST EXCUSE EVER to give to someone the woman deeply cares about and trusts so she could get out of sex or a relationship. I do not take kindly to that Excuse at this time.

*'''Q: Do you like everything you see, so long as it doesn't have gay stuff in it?'''
::A: Non-gay stuff is acceptable, but I don't like EVERYTHING I SEE; there are some things, even straight things, that I don't like either.

*'''Q: [http://www.ratpacker.com/Images/Core_Commander.gif| If you could upload your brain into a robot body, would you? ]'''
::A: I do not think so.

*'''Q: Why aren't you sure of the five worst games you've played? You can't have enjoyed [[List of Chris's games|every game you played]].'''
::A: I just could not think of any that would total up to five.

*'''Q: If you went back to college, what would you major in? What classes would you take?'''
::A: I am not sure.

*'''Q: Why do you like the name "[[Reginald]]" so much?'''
::A: Because [[PandaHalo|a woman]] who was close to me picked it out for the son in our role-play scenario; now she's dead, and I still miss her sometimes.

*'''Q: Did you know that nearly all male porn actors start out making gay porn? What do you think of this?'''
::A: Whatever; I do not care.

*'''Q: [[Christian Love Day|Why did you get rid of asexuality in Sonichu 10]]? Hasn't it occurred to you that some people just don't like being in romantic relationships, and are much happier single? '''
::A: It had occured ''[sic]'' to me about asexuality recently from a mailbag question, and made me think about it, and NOT being able to FEEL the Attraction is Just Sad.

*'''Q: In a recent chat, you said that if you had a chance, you would want to make being a homo illegal. Yet, in a video contemporary to the chat, you ask your fans not to leave you. How would you feel if all of your [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay fans]] left you?'''
::A: I would not want them to leave; they are still fans.

*'''Q: Have you ever considered getting your own apartment? What prevents you from doing so? '''
::A: Yes I have considered it. Current financial situations and fear of change (a common Autistic Trait) prevents me from doing so.

*'''Q: If there were no women, and men could reproduce sexually with other men, would homosexuality still be wrong?'''
::A: ONLY if that was the case, I would say Shoot Me.

*'''Q: Why do so many of your videos have a greenish-yellow tinge?'''
::A: It's one of the flaws in recording with Sony's EyeCreate Program (a downloadable Playstation 3 Application that requires the [[PSEye|Playstation Eye Camera]]); THEY NEED TO FIX THE PROGRAM, not only of that tint from Lack Of Some Light, but the Audio/Video skips that seems to occur during recording.

*'''Q: You hate homos, but you also hate straight men for "taking all the pretty girls leaving none for you." Shouldn't you support homos, so that other men can date each other and free up girls for you?'''
::A: NO, because Homosexuality is STILL WRONG.

*'''Q: Sex isn't that big of a deal. It's fun, but you don't have to have sex to be happy. Why are you so big about sex?'''
::A: Oh, I don't know, how about being a [[Virgin with rage|Frustrated Virgin]]?!

*'''Q: Would life be better if we reproduced nonsexually, and thus didn't have a sex drive?'''
::A: That is Bullc***.

*'''Q: Since you haven't been very specific about your taste in women, who are your favorite porn stars?'''
::A: To name a few: [[Wikipedia:Jenna Jameson|Jenna Jameson]], [[Wikipedia:Daisy Marie|Daisy Marie]] and [[Wikipedia:Carmen Luvana|Carmen Luvana]].

*'''Q: Do you have any friends in the Autistic community?'''
::A: Only a few Acquaintances.

==20 January 2010==

*'''Q: Have you ever considered the possibility that you may never lose your [[Virgin with rage|virginity]]? What will you do then? How old do you think is too old to be a virgin?'''
::A: No. The next question is Non-Applicable. [[Wikipedia:The 40-Year Old Virgin|40]].

*'''Q: If you could have sex with one famous woman, living or historical, who would it be?'''
::A: [[Britney Spears]].

*'''Q: Why do you think [[Asperchu]] currently has 10 times as many fans as Sonichu?'''
::A: "Fans" are fickle, and so are "Fads"; the Non-True Fans will always look for the Next "Fad" until they tire of it and move on to the next "Fad". In this note, I would say that I am Possibly Retro, and [[Chris and Fashion|Retro is ALWAYS IN]].

*'''Q: Would you say your life has improved since thinking up Sonichu? Why or why not?'''
::A: Yes; I became famous, and becoming famous is not an easy task.

*'''Q: Do you know what the word "[[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite]]" means?'''
::A: "hypocrite"; an adjective; 1) [[Chris and religion|to be of a belief while not upholding that belief.]] 2) a total liar. 3) an UNTRUE Fan. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for a [[Asperchu|newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a '''hypocrite''' among the [[Fanbase|Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans]].

*'''Q: I noticed that you have [[The Simpsons|a Marge Simpson poster]] on your wall. Do you find her sexually appealing and if yes why?'''
::A: That is the pin-up from a "[[Wikipedia:Playboy (magazine)|Playboy]]" a few months ago. She is appealing, yes, but I am more attracted to the real-life women around us all.

*'''Q: What's with all the pictures of Rosechu with a [[pickle]] on the internet? I thought she was supposed to be ALL WOMAN?'''
::A: Rosechu IS All Woman; she transformed from a Female Raichu; those people are just being stupid jerks with such "renditions".

*'''Q: How do you expect to keep us last remaining fans by stop working on the comic pages?'''
::A: I am drawing pages every day; just be patient and have full faith, unless you want to be considered a '''hypocrite''' among True, Loyal Sonichu and Rosechu Fans.

==26 January 2010==
*'''Q: If Rosechu is a Raichu, that means she's more evolved then Sonichu, who is a Pikachu. Shouldn't she be more powerful than Sonichu and be the leader?'''
::A: Evolution makes no difference; Rosechu is equally as powerful as Sonichu; Sonichu is the main character; Rosechu has equal leadership roles, so [[Women's rights|she leads when appropriate]].

*'''Q: Why do you think you are better artist than [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec]], aside from low-resolution and his style's blockiness? Is there something wrong to have quirky and blocky drawing style?'''
::A: How about the fact that his style looks Retarded and something that a 2-Year Old can do? There's nothing wrong, unless you want to be TRULY Respected as [[Chris and art|an Avid Artist]] and [[Chris_and_reality|Serious Person.]]

*'''Q: Why is [[Flame the Sunbird]] a ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Kazooie|Kazooie]]?'''
::A: Flame was NEVER taken from Kazooie; if anything, he is MORE similar to Knuckles, but with a Sunbird Form.

*'''Q: You have expressed disdain for Asperchu and [[Simonchu]], but how do you feel about [[Moon-Pals]]? Have you read it? If not, it would only be fair for you to do so.'''
::A: I have read Moon-Pals, and I feel that it is more like Moon-Dorks the way [[Sean]] draws and Portrays their Events so Grotesquely.

*'''Q: How many fans do you think you have? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+.'''
::A: [[Chris and his Ego|1000000000+.]]

*'''Q: How many fans do you think Asperchu has? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+.'''
::A: 0-10
''Chris left this last question unanswered until 30 January.''

==30 January 2010==
*'''Q: Will you ever be able to accept criticism without being condescending or changing the subject?'''
::A: [[Lie|Yes]].

*'''Q: Capital punishment (the Death Penalty) is legal in the [[Commonwealth of Virginia]]. Do you support the death penalty?'''
::A: [[9 February 2010|I do not support the death penalty]].

*'''Q: Could you post the letter you sent to [[Barack Obama]] on the [[CWCipedia]]?'''
::A: I am afraid I did not make a photocopy of the letter, and I had snail-mailed it weeks ago, so I can not do that.

*'''Q: You talk about how Asperchu is just a fad, but what if Sonichu is actually the fad that's starting to fade?'''
::A: I disagree.

*'''Q: If Rosechu is equal to Sonichu in power why does she need to be saved by him?'''
::A: [[Women's rights|She was caught off-guard at those times.]]

==1 February 2010==
*'''Q: Why do people who "[[Mailbag 49#Apparently that's reason enough|tick you off]]" [[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|deserve to die in explosions]]? Didn't Matthew say to love thy enemy?'''
::A: [[Lie|I never said that phrase, nor meant it in any way]].

*'''Q: If you don't support [[Sonichu 10|the death penalty]], that means you believe all life is sacred, right? Then why do you call for the deaths of [[Homos|gays]]? Is it only straight people who shouldn't get the death penalty?'''
::A: [[Death threats|All Life IS sacred]].

*'''Q: How come you become more and more like a dictator like [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|Kim Jong Il]], [[wikipedia:Hugo Chavez|Hugo Chavez]], or [[Wikipedia:Vladimir Putin|Vladimir Putin]] with your mailbags?'''
::A: I am NOT a Dictator. Why are you giving me an even WORSE Mislabeling than the Homosexual Mislabelings? Why do YOU have to be so bored that you have to make up NEW mislabelings to try and deface me over and over again?

*'''Q: Why did you choose to show the first [[Niggos|black]] character in the series in a negative and racist light?'''
::A: [[Inos|That one]] is NOT a recurring character; the one who WILL be recurring characters are and will be like [[Jerkop|Police Officers]] like [[Louis Perez]].

*'''Q: Why did [[Ultra Sonichu]] cure [[Aspergers]], but did nothing for the physically challenged Rosechus in CWCville?'''
::A: [[Honor roll|Mental Problems can be cured Easier than Physical]].

*'''Q: Why do you constantly edit the letters you receive? Don't you think it is insulting and rude?'''
::A: I am working on that, and Editing Less.

*'''Q: Do you like zombies? What weapon would you use to defend yourself in the zombie apocalypse? Where would you hold out?'''
::A: No, I do not like zombies. I would use a [[Megatron pistol|Gun]]. [[14 Branchland Court|Where I can]].

*'''Q: If you claim to respect your fans, why is it okay for you to "promise" to do a Sonichu page everyday, and then not keep up on that promise?'''
::A: I am drawing the pages For Real; Hand-to-God. I have other life problems that delay me from getting them scanned and online sooner; Shoveling Snow, [[Chores]], [[Biological clock|Earlier Bedtime]] and Routine Resituating.

*'''Q: Why don't you just draw [[Wild]] a new girlfriend, so you can remove [[Simonla]] like Evan asked you to? Most people have more than one relationship in their lives, so it should not be that much of a problem. Or a you so uncreative that you can not think of a new character?'''
::A: I have stated before that when ONE finds [[Boyfriend-free girl|their Match]], they KEEP Each Other; I am NOT going to separate the Couple.

==22 February 2010==
*'''Q: How come your comics art hasn't improved since [[2005]], do you think you've reached your limit when it's come to the art of the Sonichu comic?'''
::A: On the contrary, [[Lie|my drawing skills have improved greatly over the years]], yet it may be subtle and not obvious.

*'''Q: Why do you have a bedtime when you are around 30 years old?'''
::A: Everybody needs to sleep a while to recover energy from the past day.

*'''Q: What do you think of legally blind people?'''
::A: They're okay; they are keen to their other senses, and that is admirable. I have neutral to positive opinions of the legally blind.

*'''Q: Hey, Chris, what were your favorite after-school activities when you were a kid?'''
::A: [[Video games]] and Homework.

*'''Q: Were you ever involved in sports besides being the basketball towelboy, or did you take music lessons or art classes outside of school?'''
::A: I took a lot of Physical Education classes; I did not take classes outside of school before [[PVCC|college]].

*'''Q: If you can't get [[Son-Chu|your car]] out because of the snow, shouldn't now be the perfect time to work on updating your comic?'''
::A: I have been working on the comic the whole time, as you will see very soon.

*'''Q: What's your favorite food? Does your mom ever cook at home? If she asked you to fix dinner, what would you do?'''
::A: Macaroni and Cheese; Yes; a small meal or soup.

*'''Q: Are there any video games out right now that you really want to play, but haven't gotten a chance to yet?'''
::A: [[Fanmail Reading|The Orange Box]], [[God of War]] III and Heavy Rain.
::''Note: neither God of War III nor [[Wikipedia:Heavy Rain|Heavy Rain]] had been released when Chris answered this question.''

*'''Q: If you could change anything about yourself physically, what would you change and why?'''
::A: Weigh myself down to [[WeighIn|180 pounds]].

*'''Q: How often do you shower?'''
::A: [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|Nightly]].

*'''Q: How often do you visit with friends and family outside of the house?'''
::A: Sometimes.

*'''Q: Do you enjoy [[20 December 2009|playing]] with your [[cats]]?'''
::A: Yes.

*'''Q: Do you actually play with all the [[toys]] in your room? If not, why not donate some to children who actually will play with them?'''
::A: I do sometimes play with all my toys.

*'''Q: Do you envy Sonichu for having [[Rosechu|a wife]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|kids]]?'''
::A: [[Lie|No]].

*'''Q: Which of the Rosechus is the sexiest in your opinion?'''
::A: The Original Rosechu.

*'''Q: If shoveling snow is that hard for you, why don't you just pay some kid [[Chris and money|$10]] to shovel your driveway?'''
::A: Hard work is good for me.

*'''Q: From between Issues [[Sonichu 0|#0]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]] Which [[Electric Hedgehog pokemon]] do you like least and why?'''
::A: [[Silvana Rosechu]], because of the [[Troll]] Influences, I felt forced to let [[Graduon]] magically make her a hermaphrodite for the sake of "TRANSFORM".

*'''Q: Have any of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|the Sonichus and Rosechus]] ever considered "[[Wikipedia:Swinging|swinging]]," aka swapping [[sex]] partners for the night?'''
::A: No.

*'''Q: What are the ten worst things that have happened to you in your life?'''
::A: 1) Trolls Pestering Me Constantly. 2) [[Julie|Learning that Ohio woman was actually a 13-year old boy]]. 3) Having[[PSN|my accounts]] hacked into. 4) [[Clyde Cash]] breaking into my ORIGINAL, which hosted The Original "[[CWC's Sonichu Site!|CWC's Sonichu Site]]", Tripod Account and screwing it up Royally. 5) Being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe|The (Game & Hobby) Place]] by that S.O.B., '''[[Michael Snyder]]'''; we never saw eye-to-eye, and for [[Chris and anger|some UNCOMPREHENDIBLE Reason]], aside from that time with my [[Nintendo|Wii]], He Hated Me, Period. 6) Learning of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] Website late October, [[2007]], followed by learning [[Lucas|TWO OF]] [[Mimms|THE TROLLS]] were old Pokémon TCG comrades in that same League I used to go to HAD PART in the creation of that D*** E.D. Page. 7) The loss of two True and Good Women who I had friendships with, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie ([[PandaHalo]]), and [[Sarah Jackson]]. 8) Being banned from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a year. 9) Having to leave behind all of my [[Gal-pal|Girl Friends]] from [[High School]] after Graduation. 10) [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Being pinned down on the floor by a teacher, two teacher aides, the Guidance Counsoler and the Principal on the floor and having my screams and cries recorded onto audiocassete back in 4th Grade]]. 11) The [[Autism]].

*'''Q: Chris, what are the good deeds you have done that earn you the right to go to heaven?'''
::A: I have done a lot of good in my life, yet I did some bad, [[Chris and remorse|most of which was accidental, unintentional or beyond my knowledge]]. To name a few good things: holding the door for many people in various places, [[Chris and Death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|honoring my promises]], being friendly and kind in person, donating to various causes and a lot of other good things.

*'''Q: Why does homosexuality immediately condemn the person to hell regardless of how good they are?'''
::A: I can not say; ask a Priest or Pastor.

*'''Q: At what age did you officially become mayor of CWCville?'''
::A: [[Sonichu chronology#2000|18]]

*'''Q: At what age will [[Daughter|your future daughter]] inherit the title of mayor of CWCville?'''
::A: 13 - 18

*'''Q: You know that crystal isn't a kind of metal, right?'''
::A: I know that; cyrstal is a kind of Mineral.

*'''Q: Who came up with the "Chris Chan" nickname?'''
::A: I did; it's the first halves of my first and last names, Chris tian Chan dler, and it has a "Jackie Chan" feel to it.

*'''Q: What inspired you to create Sonichu?'''
::A: The [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD Cover Project]] for Computer Graphics during my Seinor Year at [[Manchester High]]; Sonic and Pikachu.

*'''Q: Even though you've created him for over a decade, did Sonichu ever helped you accomplished anything?'''
::A: Yes; see myself as a better person.

*'''Q: Why did the [[Wailord]] dropped a boulder on [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubble]]'s adoptive mother [[Swampert]]?'''
::A: the boulder was attached to that Wailord's underbelly, like Barnicles, and in its leap over Mama Swampert, the boulder detached itself.

*'''Q: Since you hate gay people so much, why do you use [[Rainbow]]s in your comics?'''
::A: I do not understand why the [[Chris and Censorship|f***]] the gays decided to use Rainbows as their symbol; that's like asking Hitler why he used the Swastika (which originally was a Lucky Symbol) for [[CWCville|his whole mess]].

*'''Q: What purpose have the [[Chaotic Combo]] served through out the whole comic?'''
::A: It's like asking why [[Sailor Moon]] needed the Sailor Soldiers of the other 8 planets; BACKUP, ADVICE and COMRADESHIP.

*'''Q: Why do you add yourself as a character?'''
::A: If it was good enough for Shinichi Watanabe in [[Excel Saga]] and [[Puni Puni Poemy]], [[Chris and his Ego|it was good enough for me]]. But upon retrospect, I saw why it was a mistake.

==Unanswered==
===From [[Mailbag 58]]===
*'''Q: What do you think of people who read both Sonichu and Asperchu? Do you think they are loyal fans?

*'''Q: Have you considered letting more comic series onto the the [[CWCipedia]]?

*'''Q: Would you date someone who loved the [[Xbox]] as much as you love PS3 and hates PS3 as much as you do the Xbox?

*'''Q: If only [[slow in the minds]] could be turned into jerkops, why didn't you get turned into one?

*'''Q: Why do you refuse to buy your father nice gifts and just settle for cheap candy or even nothing?

*'''Q: You say you're against the death penalty, so why is it that in your most recent comic pages you decided to kill off the Asperpedia crew?

*'''Q: Do you wish you could punish the [[Asperpedia|Asperpals]] in real life the same way you did in your most recent comic book?

*'''Q: [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Why are things a fact when said by you, but an opinion when said by others?]]

*'''Q: What has been your greatest victory over the trolls?

*'''Q: What has been your biggest defeat at the hands of trolls?

===From [[Mailbag 59]]===
*'''Q:Why do you put Sonichu on your [[resume]] if you don't want it to be a job?

{{Mailbag}}

Common Questions

2017-02-05T12:52:55Z

RedVine01: /* 1 February 2010 */

In late [[December 2009]], the [[CWCipedia]] [[Mailbag|Mailbags]] gained a new subsection, a series of short questions allegedly asked by many people who had written to Chris. Chris was surprisingly diligent about answering all of these '''Common Questions''' (normal people would call them "Frequently Asked Questions" - "FAQ") with every new Mailbag. The answers, unsurprisingly, were erratic at best. Sometimes Chris provided [[Honest Content|far too much information]], and other times he would provide a single word in response when a longer answer would have been expected. On occasion, he would change the text in the question itself to suit his needs, a practice of editing he'd been using in the mailbags since day one.

All of his answers have been compiled here, arranged by the date on which he answered them.

==28 December 2009==

*'''Q: Have you ever read any books on how to go about creating [[art]]? e.g. [[Wikipedia:Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain|Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain]], [[Wikipedia:The Elements of Style|The Elements of Style]], How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way, [[Mailbag 26#In which Chris's brain starts to work!|On Writing]], or things like internet tutorials?'''
::A: [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|I have read such books]], and I have taken many [[art]]s classes too.

*'''Q: If you were a director [[A CWC Audition|in Hollywood]], what kinds of films would you make?'''
::A: Action/Steamy ([[Chris and English|Striaght]]) Romance

*'''Q: You said you read [[R.L. Stine]] books when you were in high school. What kind of books do you read now? "Literary" fiction? Genre, like mystery or horror or science fiction? Nonfiction?'''
::A: I read less books now, although the last book I read was [[Wikipedia:Pamela Anderson|Pamela Anderson]]'s Star.

*'''Q: Have you considered creating non-Sonichu comics or stories?'''
::A: Yes, and the ideas are still in my head.

*'''Q: Have you ever accepted and used constructive criticism in your comics? Or do you blow off anything anyone says that is slightly negative, even if their intentions are to help you improve your art?'''
::A: I have accepted and used ideas and criticism one such example was the [[Sonichu Fan Promo|Sonichu Animations from YouTube User: Timmys1984]]; it was very good, yet the lines were wrong originally. At least I have set that record straight in my [[Sonichu 9|9th Book]].

*'''Q: Why do you steal jokes from so many other sources (i.e. [[Family Guy]] and [[Excel Saga]]) and put it in your comics? It isn't very original and you can't come up with an original concept if all the humor in your comics is stolen.'''
::A: Like Family Guy, [[The Simpsons|Simpsons]], Excel Saga, and even [[South Park]], taking jokes is of acceptable practice; it works when the author is short on original jokes, and wants to fill in a good one. Everybody does it. "[[wikipedia:Simpsons_Already_Did_It|Simpsons Did It]]."

*'''Q: Describe your artistic process. How do you get inspiration for ideas for your comics? What goes through your head when you draw and color your comics?'''
::A: I get the idea beforehand in random thought/imagination/dream, get pen and paper and write/draw it out. A lot goes through my head, and it is hard for me as a [[Chris and his Ego|creative genius]] to remember it all on-the-spot verbatim.

*'''Q: We all know you have [[autism]], but exactly what type do you have? There are multiple types on the spectrum.'''
::A: High-Functioning Autism.

*'''Q: What do you plan to do after you have found your true [[sweetheart]] and had your daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]?'''
::A: I will live my family life as I had dreamed and waited for happily.

*'''Q: What would you do if either of you turned out to be infertile?'''
::A: That is just plain stupid; I am VERY Fertile; Certified in the Medical Clinic, and I would make sure my woman has not hit Menopause yet.

*'''Q: What would you do if you found your sweetheart, fell in love with her, married her, but she could only give birth to male children?.'''
::A: It is a 50/50 chance among all women; I trust God to come through in his promise as he has told me before. I will keep trying though; I am not [[Wikipedia:Henry VIII of England|King Henry VIII]].

*'''Q: Aside from creating Sonichu and Rosechu and excluding your future accomplishment of getting a true sweetheart and having your daughter Crystal, what is your greatest accomplishment in life and why?'''
::A: Graduating [[Manchester_High_School|High School]] and [[College]]; I have learned a LOT and met the requirements; it's all good.

*'''Q: What are your top five priorities in life and why?'''
::A: 1) Good [[Health]] - Who wants to be ill or sick? 2) Happiness - I don't like being sad. 3) Love - I want to feel loved and appreciated by my closest ones. 4) Projects/Job - It gives me something to do. 5) [[Money]] - It does not make the world go around, but everyone wants it to feel like they are getting something out of a deal.

*'''Q: If you were made the absolute leader of the entire world for a day and your word was taken as law, what sorts of things would you do to make the world a better place?'''
::A: [[Chris and reality|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples]], leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All [[gays]] would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.

*'''Q: What about fucking [[sex toys|sex dolls]], [[masturbating]], drawing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|smut]]? Isn't this all forbidden for true Christians?'''
::A: It is not forbidden; that would be the Jews who are against those things, and I am not Jewish, and I respect them as [[Michael Snyder|individual people.]]

*'''Q: Contrary to what you stated in issue 8, the age of consent in most of the United States is BELOW 18 (17 or 16). What is your opinion on this?'''
::A: I understand that SOME states have that law, and I feel that it is good; [[Pedofork|it broadens the range by one or two years, so one would feel lest restricted]].

*'''Q: What would you say is the most romantic thing you have ever done with or to a woman?'''
::A: [[The Creepy Stare|Sensual, emotionally-linked eye-contact]].

*'''Q: We've been hearing about your creations becoming more and more popular amongst the gay community. What are your thoughts on this?'''
::A: Firstly, their perspectives of my work are flawed; they misunderstand some points, and I do not care for that at all; It is a STRAIGHT Comic; [[Homos]]exuality Lifestyle is HEAVILY DISCOURAGED and DETESTED. Second, I really feel hatred in them placing MY characters in their events WRONGFULLY, even in... [[It's UGH!|UGH!!!]]... pride parades and essays promoting their lifestyle. All of My [[Magi-Chan|Sonichus]] and [[Silvana|Rosechus]] Are Straight! And I Am Straight! DO NOT SAY OTHERWISE, Because It is Mislabeling; it is Very Wrong, and I DO NOT APPRECIATE IT AT ALL.

*'''Q: Do you plan to give an ending to Sonichu's story?'''
::A: [[Chris and reality|No]].

*'''Q: Do Sonichu and Rosechu have full names (that is, two-part names, like all other Sonichus and Rosechus)? If so, what are they?'''
::A: No, they are the very first Sonichu and Rosechu, so they do not have such names.

*'''Q: Will [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Eevails]], or possibly some other [[Tails]]-like creature, appear in your comic?'''
::A: No.

==31 December 2009==

*'''Q: What do you think about people harassing others over [[PlayStation]] home?'''
::A: I do not like it at all.

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst movies you have ever <s>seen</s> heard of and would never ever watch in your entire life?'''
::A: [[Homos|''Brokeback Mountain'']], [[Wikipedia:Borat|''Borat'']], [[Homos|''Bruno, Crying Game'']], ''[[Wikipedia:Krull (film)|Krull]]''.

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst TV shows you have ever <s>seen</s> heard of and would never ever watch in your entire life?'''
::A: I am unsure.

''Note: Chris added the strikeouts himself.''

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst video games you have ever played?'''
::A: I am unsure.

*'''Q: What are the 5 best movies you have ever seen?'''
::A: [[Mary Poppins]], All [[Transformers]] Movies, Both [[Ghostbusters|Ghostbuster]] Movies, [[Saw|All Saw Movies]], [[Wikipedia:The 40-Year Old Virgin|The 40-Year Old Virgin]].

*'''Q: What are the 5 best TV shows you have ever seen?'''
::A: [[Transformers]] (ALL Seasons and Sets), [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (All Shows), [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] (All Seasons), [[Wikipedia:Mythbusters|Mythbusters]], [[Filmation's Ghostbusters]] (Little Care for "The Real Ghostbusters"; Jake, Eddie and Tracy WERE THE [[Honest_Content#True_and_Honest,_HOnest_and_True|ORIGINAL]] REAL GHOSTBUSTERS).

*'''Q: What are the 5 best video games you have ever played?'''
::A: All [[Sonic|Sonic the Hedgehog Titles]], [[LittleBiGPlanet]] ([[PS3]] AND [[PSP]]), All [[Guitar Hero]] Titles, All [[Animal Crossing]] Titles, All Pok'emon Titles.

*'''Q: Have you read classic comics like: [[Wikipedia:A Contract With God|A Contract With God]], [[Wikipedia:Maus|Maus]], [[Wikipedia:Watchmen|Watchmen]], or [[Wikipedia:The Sandman (Vertigo)|The Sandman]]?'''
::A: Superman, Spider-Man and the like.

*'''Q: Could you mention any specific titles or series of comics you have read (besides Sonic the Hedgehog)?'''
::A: Superman, Spider-Man and the like.

*'''Q: What's your creative process like?'''
::A: [[Random]], Extensive, [[Autism|Tough to Comprehend]] sometimes...

*'''Q: How do you go about creating each comic--do you do storyboards or scriptwriting beforehand?'''
::A: Mental Storyboards and Scriptwriting, but I do write some of it out on paper.

*'''Q: How far in advance do you plan the story?'''
::A: About weeks to months in advance.

*'''Q: Besides Sonic, Pokemon, and your daily struggles, what inspires your writing and art?'''
::A: [[Things Chris has ripped off|Other shows, comics, video games]], and most importantly my Evan|Fans. :)

*'''Q: Did any specific comic book inspire you to create your own?'''
::A: I'd say the [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|Sonic the Hedgehog Comic Book Series]]

*'''Q: Why comics as opposed to short stories/novels?'''
::A: I enjoy drawing, and I feel better with having pictures to associate the words with.

*'''Q: Would you ever consider getting a massage?'''
::A: Yes, from Women Only.

*'''Q: What is your purpose in life?'''
::A: Does anyone really know their own [[China|ONE TRUE purpose in life]]? We mostly are supposed to live one moment and day at a time as best we can to make us individually feel [[Love Quest|satisfied]] and at peace.

*'''Q: Do you believe in an afterlife?'''
::A: [[Chris and Religion#Afterlife|Yes]].

*'''Q: What do you think happens after we die?'''
::A: Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and [[Chris and Religion|possibly Reincarnation]].

==1 January 2010==

*'''Q: Where do you think you'll go after you die and why do you think that will be the case?'''
::A: I do my best and what I can to end up in [[Heaven]] , [[Lie|I do a lot of good deeds]].

*'''Q: You follow the Bible rigorously and believe homosexuality will send you to Hell. However, the Bible says that having unmarried sex will send you to Hell as well. Explain your reasonings you choose to ignore God's word and not waiting until after marriage but instead "after the [[Third date|3rd date]]".'''
::A:Those more strict rules apply to the Jewish, especially the [[Wikipedia:Book of Leviticus|book of Leviticus]]. I am a Christian [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]], and as long as we feel comfortable and happy with our lives, if the Christian individual feels comfortable with [[Chris and sex|premarital sex]], then it is cool.

*'''Q: Can you justify your anti-homosexuality? How exactly?'''
::A: Yes; the Homos I have heard from try to push their damn lifestyle in my face, and I DO NOT CARE FOR THAT AT ALL; What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it.

*'''Q: Why does [[Rosechu]] wear clothes while Sonichu does not? Additionally, why are [[Lolisa]], [[DJ Jamsta]], and Rosechu the only Sonichus and Rosechus who wear clothing?'''
::A: Well, Why does Cindy Bear not wear clothes? Why does Mickey Mouse wear pants yet Sonic and Donald Duck do not? Why does Daisy Duck wear ONLY a Top, yet Minnie Mouse wears a skirt? IT'S A CARTOON; WHO CARES?!

*'''Q: Are the [[Sonichu comics|''Sonichu'' comics]] still aimed at children? If so, what age group?'''
::A: Yes, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Ages 7 and Up]].

*'''Q: I am really interested in your [[Lego]] CWCville, could you please draw an elaborate map of it for me?'''
::A: One Day, I will draw a map, although it is similar to the City of Cwcville, VA.

==5 January 2010==

*'''Q: If Sonichu got published how much would each Issue cost?'''
::A: I'd estimate $2.25, given the current shelf-comic prices. But ON the [[PS3|Playstation Network]]'s Digital Comic Service, I'd estimate $0.99 or $1.99 per Digital Issue.

*'''Q: How often does Sonichu have to stop and take breaks when he's running?'''
::A: He only stops for a rescue, social life, [[Obesity|eating a chili dog, tacos or whatever he feels like chowin' down]], and to relax at home with [[Robbie Sonee|his family]].

*'''Q: [[Virginia]] lets you to [[Wikipedia:Cousin marriage law in the United States by state|marry your first cousin]], but doesn't allow [[gays]] to marry. Do you think cousin-marriage is better than gay marriage? Why or why not?'''
::A: [[Chris and anger|WHAT THE F***?! WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT C***PIEST OF HEINOUS LIES ABOUT VIRGINIA?!]] Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER! In comparison, both unholy marriages are equally terrible.

==7 January 2010==

*'''Q: You said that you confess your sins and pray every night. What sins do you confess?'''
::A: To name a couple: I apologize right after each time I say something like "God damn" (I'm sorry, God); I confess and apologize for, if any that day, angry responses to my own father after he starts an arguement or gets on my nerves.

*'''Q: What exactly happened when you were called into [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s office?'''
::A: That was one time I would rather not go into or recall. She raised her voice at me in harsh tones about how "You won't be getting any women" or "Your methods are flawed and stupid" and even "You are Stupid, Christian". I responded very angrily and verbally abused her back. Then I was kicked out for a year with Anger management and psychiatrist assistance.

*'''Q: Why do you randomly capitalize words when you type?'''
::A: I do not type in Caps at Random; I type those phrases or words in caps to EMPHASIZE MY POINT OR FACT.

*'''Q: When did you first realize that you hated the homos? Do your parents hate them as much as you do?'''
::A: I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a [[Lesbian]]." That, combined with my PAST dislike of [[JERKS|MEN]] in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE! And I will say this again, '''SONICHU IS STRAIGHT, YOU DUMBASS GAYWADS.'''

==9 January 2010==

*'''Q: What do you think of people of different faiths other than your own (this includes [[Wikipedia:Satanism|Satanism]],[[Wikipedia:Atheism|Atheism]], [[Wikipedia:Agnosticism|Agnosticism]])'''
::A: For most other religions, I am of neutral opinion and have no objections to them whatsoever. But for ALL those of Satanism and Atheism; I do not care for those Non-Religions AT ALL. [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|I will not discriminate]] the people of those Non-Religions as Individual People.

*'''Q: How do you feel about [[Homos|the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual community]]? do they deserve the same rights as anyone else?'''
::A: As individual people, they all deserve Most Rights, but GAY MARRIAGE Should be made Illegal ALL Countries; Marriage is ONLY for Straight Man/Woman couples. I stand behind that most fully.

*'''Q: How do you feel about people of different political parties, political parties spanning from Anarchism to Fascism.'''
::A: As a Moderate (of Middle, Neutral Opinion), I have nothing against the other political parties. Mainly, because even though I do have the ability to learn about them, I know not ALL of the details of them.

*'''Q: How do you feel about Drugs? Drugs such as Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigarettes, [[Alcohol]], etc.'''
::A: I STAND FULLY AGAINST [[Tobacky|Cigarettes, Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigars]] and ALL other Drugs of the sort. The only exceptions are drugs that are Prescribed to the Individual Person, as long as they are not given to anyone they were not originally prescribed to, I have no objections. And Alcohol; in Responsible, Moderate amounts, it can be good for you, yet I do not support Too Much of it, as if left unchecked, irresponsible or unassisted, too much can lead to [[6 June 2010|fights that can lead to a trip to the hospital and automobile accidents]].

*'''Q: Do you hold any distaste for any worldly culture?'''
::A: Only those who fully promote smoking or such drugs that I have just elaborated against of.

*'''Q: Are you uncomfortable about [[Chris and race|people of Color]]? do you have any tensions towards them?'''
::A: I have no discomfort or tension against people of all colors. The only exception is in my choice of [[Sweetheart]] or Mate; No Personal Offense, but she can not be [[Niggos|Black]].

*'''Q: Are you disturbed or disgusted by different types of music?''' Many people dislike Death Metal: [http://tinyurl.com/ch2yl5 http://tinyurl.com/ch2yl5]
::A: I have agreement on some lyrics of Death Metal tracks, but the Tune, as long as it is not at loud volume, it is still good.

*'''Q: What do you think of our current president? Is he deceiving [[America]]ns as the Right Wing has expressed?'''
::A: I think [[Obama]] is doing okay, yet I disagree with his Health Plan; it is premature at the time, because we can not afford it yet. The Right Wing are sour, mean people; I give no concern to them.

*'''Q: Do you think Countries such as the Soviet Union or [[CWCville|North Korea]] Are actually Communist?'''
::A: I do not know much about those countries, so I can not give a full opinion on the topic. Although I do hate Communism; they are of wrong opinions and are considerably mean.

*'''Q: How do you think the situation in Afghanistan is going? Is there anything you would do different?'''
::A: I do not have full knowledge of that situation either.

*'''Q. Would you be willing to preform oral sex on a woman?'''
::A: Yes I would.

*'''Q. You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?'''
::A: Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and Reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet."

*'''Q. Have you ever thought about documenting your daily life? Kind of like a reality show?'''
::A: The topic has come to mind, yet I do not feel it appropriate yet.

*'''Q. Do you eat at restaurants other than [[McDonalds]] or [[Burger King]]?'''
::A: Yes, namely [[Golden Corral]], [[Country Cookin']] and iHop.

*'''Q. Do you ever consider playing [[Guitar Hero]] on expert instead of hard?'''
::A: I have played on Expert, and it is good.

*'''Q. What do you argue about with your dad?'''
::A: A number of things; I would not know where to begin on making the list of dumb topics he comes up with.

*'''Q. Why do you want to get the original [[Power Rangers]] back together? They're 40, no longer fit the costumes, one of them is dead, and one of them went to jail for drunk driving.'''
::A: Originally, I meant ONLY to '''[[Revive Zordon]]'''; I mean PRESIDENTS, POLICE CHIEFS and such Recruiting Power Rangers and Creating Zords? Not only is it Trite and LAME, it is not as CLASSIC or Good Quality as Zordon.

*'''Q. Do your parents freak out about you playing with [[My Little Pony|girl's toys]] when you're a grown man?'''
::A: No, they do not, and I gave that up [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|long ago]].

*'''Q. What other ideas did you think of to attract women before you settled on a cardboard sign?'''
::A: Newspaper/Magazine Ads, Online Dating Sites, Video Dating Services to name a few; [[Chris and Money|THEY COST MONEY]].

*'''Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?'''
::A: I am ALREADY GROWN UP; I am 27 Years Old, going on 28. I am a great artist, and I am looking forward to an Office Job.

==15 January 2010==

*'''Q: If you could change the law, how would you change it? and you said you would outlaw the [[friend zone]]? why? what happened to a woman's right to choose who she wants to be with?'''
::A: Nothing has happened in [[Women's Rights]]; the "Friend Zone" is only the LOUSIEST EXCUSE EVER to give to someone the woman deeply cares about and trusts so she could get out of sex or a relationship. I do not take kindly to that Excuse at this time.

*'''Q: Do you like everything you see, so long as it doesn't have gay stuff in it?'''
::A: Non-gay stuff is acceptable, but I don't like EVERYTHING I SEE; there are some things, even straight things, that I don't like either.

*'''Q: [http://www.ratpacker.com/Images/Core_Commander.gif| If you could upload your brain into a robot body, would you? ]'''
::A: I do not think so.

*'''Q: Why aren't you sure of the five worst games you've played? You can't have enjoyed [[List of Chris's games|every game you played]].'''
::A: I just could not think of any that would total up to five.

*'''Q: If you went back to college, what would you major in? What classes would you take?'''
::A: I am not sure.

*'''Q: Why do you like the name "[[Reginald]]" so much?'''
::A: Because [[PandaHalo|a woman]] who was close to me picked it out for the son in our role-play scenario; now she's dead, and I still miss her sometimes.

*'''Q: Did you know that nearly all male porn actors start out making gay porn? What do you think of this?'''
::A: Whatever; I do not care.

*'''Q: [[Christian Love Day|Why did you get rid of asexuality in Sonichu 10]]? Hasn't it occurred to you that some people just don't like being in romantic relationships, and are much happier single? '''
::A: It had occured ''[sic]'' to me about asexuality recently from a mailbag question, and made me think about it, and NOT being able to FEEL the Attraction is Just Sad.

*'''Q: In a recent chat, you said that if you had a chance, you would want to make being a homo illegal. Yet, in a video contemporary to the chat, you ask your fans not to leave you. How would you feel if all of your [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay fans]] left you?'''
::A: I would not want them to leave; they are still fans.

*'''Q: Have you ever considered getting your own apartment? What prevents you from doing so? '''
::A: Yes I have considered it. Current financial situations and fear of change (a common Autistic Trait) prevents me from doing so.

*'''Q: If there were no women, and men could reproduce sexually with other men, would homosexuality still be wrong?'''
::A: ONLY if that was the case, I would say Shoot Me.

*'''Q: Why do so many of your videos have a greenish-yellow tinge?'''
::A: It's one of the flaws in recording with Sony's EyeCreate Program (a downloadable Playstation 3 Application that requires the [[PSEye|Playstation Eye Camera]]); THEY NEED TO FIX THE PROGRAM, not only of that tint from Lack Of Some Light, but the Audio/Video skips that seems to occur during recording.

*'''Q: You hate homos, but you also hate straight men for "taking all the pretty girls leaving none for you." Shouldn't you support homos, so that other men can date each other and free up girls for you?'''
::A: NO, because Homosexuality is STILL WRONG.

*'''Q: Sex isn't that big of a deal. It's fun, but you don't have to have sex to be happy. Why are you so big about sex?'''
::A: Oh, I don't know, how about being a [[Virgin with rage|Frustrated Virgin]]?!

*'''Q: Would life be better if we reproduced nonsexually, and thus didn't have a sex drive?'''
::A: That is Bullc***.

*'''Q: Since you haven't been very specific about your taste in women, who are your favorite porn stars?'''
::A: To name a few: [[Wikipedia:Jenna Jameson|Jenna Jameson]], [[Wikipedia:Daisy Marie|Daisy Marie]] and [[Wikipedia:Carmen Luvana|Carmen Luvana]].

*'''Q: Do you have any friends in the Autistic community?'''
::A: Only a few Acquaintances.

==20 January 2010==

*'''Q: Have you ever considered the possibility that you may never lose your [[Virgin with rage|virginity]]? What will you do then? How old do you think is too old to be a virgin?'''
::A: No. The next question is Non-Applicable. [[Wikipedia:The 40-Year Old Virgin|40]].

*'''Q: If you could have sex with one famous woman, living or historical, who would it be?'''
::A: [[Britney Spears]].

*'''Q: Why do you think [[Asperchu]] currently has 10 times as many fans as Sonichu?'''
::A: "Fans" are fickle, and so are "Fads"; the Non-True Fans will always look for the Next "Fad" until they tire of it and move on to the next "Fad". In this note, I would say that I am Possibly Retro, and [[Chris and Fashion|Retro is ALWAYS IN]].

*'''Q: Would you say your life has improved since thinking up Sonichu? Why or why not?'''
::A: Yes; I became famous, and becoming famous is not an easy task.

*'''Q: Do you know what the word "[[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite]]" means?'''
::A: "hypocrite"; an adjective; 1) [[Chris and religion|to be of a belief while not upholding that belief.]] 2) a total liar. 3) an UNTRUE Fan. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for a [[Asperchu|newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a '''hypocrite''' among the [[Fanbase|Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans]].

*'''Q: I noticed that you have [[The Simpsons|a Marge Simpson poster]] on your wall. Do you find her sexually appealing and if yes why?'''
::A: That is the pin-up from a "[[Wikipedia:Playboy (magazine)|Playboy]]" a few months ago. She is appealing, yes, but I am more attracted to the real-life women around us all.

*'''Q: What's with all the pictures of Rosechu with a [[pickle]] on the internet? I thought she was supposed to be ALL WOMAN?'''
::A: Rosechu IS All Woman; she transformed from a Female Raichu; those people are just being stupid jerks with such "renditions".

*'''Q: How do you expect to keep us last remaining fans by stop working on the comic pages?'''
::A: I am drawing pages every day; just be patient and have full faith, unless you want to be considered a '''hypocrite''' among True, Loyal Sonichu and Rosechu Fans.

==26 January 2010==
*'''Q: If Rosechu is a Raichu, that means she's more evolved then Sonichu, who is a Pikachu. Shouldn't she be more powerful than Sonichu and be the leader?'''
::A: Evolution makes no difference; Rosechu is equally as powerful as Sonichu; Sonichu is the main character; Rosechu has equal leadership roles, so [[Women's rights|she leads when appropriate]].

*'''Q: Why do you think you are better artist than [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec]], aside from low-resolution and his style's blockiness? Is there something wrong to have quirky and blocky drawing style?'''
::A: How about the fact that his style looks Retarded and something that a 2-Year Old can do? There's nothing wrong, unless you want to be TRULY Respected as [[Chris and art|an Avid Artist]] and [[Chris_and_reality|Serious Person.]]

*'''Q: Why is [[Flame the Sunbird]] a ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Kazooie|Kazooie]]?'''
::A: Flame was NEVER taken from Kazooie; if anything, he is MORE similar to Knuckles, but with a Sunbird Form.

*'''Q: You have expressed disdain for Asperchu and [[Simonchu]], but how do you feel about [[Moon-Pals]]? Have you read it? If not, it would only be fair for you to do so.'''
::A: I have read Moon-Pals, and I feel that it is more like Moon-Dorks the way [[Sean]] draws and Portrays their Events so Grotesquely.

*'''Q: How many fans do you think you have? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+.'''
::A: [[Chris and his Ego|1000000000+.]]

*'''Q: How many fans do you think Asperchu has? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+.'''
::A: 0-10
''Chris left this last question unanswered until 30 January.''

==30 January 2010==
*'''Q: Will you ever be able to accept criticism without being condescending or changing the subject?'''
::A: [[Lie|Yes]].

*'''Q: Capital punishment (the Death Penalty) is legal in the [[Commonwealth of Virginia]]. Do you support the death penalty?'''
::A: [[9 February 2010|I do not support the death penalty]].

*'''Q: Could you post the letter you sent to [[Barack Obama]] on the [[CWCipedia]]?'''
::A: I am afraid I did not make a photocopy of the letter, and I had snail-mailed it weeks ago, so I can not do that.

*'''Q: You talk about how Asperchu is just a fad, but what if Sonichu is actually the fad that's starting to fade?'''
::A: I disagree.

*'''Q: If Rosechu is equal to Sonichu in power why does she need to be saved by him?'''
::A: [[Women's rights|She was caught off-guard at those times.]]

==1 February 2010==
*'''Q: Why do people who "[[Mailbag 49#Apparently that's reason enough|tick you off]]" [[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|deserve to die in explosions]]? Didn't Matthew say to love thy enemy?'''
::A: [[Lie|I never said that phrase, nor meant it in any way]].

*'''Q: If you don't support [[Sonichu 10|the death penalty]], that means you believe all life is sacred, right? Then why do you call for the deaths of [[Homos|gays]]? Is it only straight people who shouldn't get the death penalty?'''
::A: [[Death threats|All Life IS sacred]].

*'''Q: How come you become more and more like a dictator like [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|Kim Jong Il]], [[wikipedia:Hugo Chavez|Hugo Chavez]], or [[Wikipedia:Vladimir Putin|Vladimir Putin]] with your mailbags?'''
::A: I am NOT a Dictator. Why are you giving me an even WORSE Mislabeling than the Homosexual Mislabelings? Why do YOU have to be so bored that you have to make up NEW mislabelings to try and deface me over and over again?

*'''Q: Why did you choose to show the first [[Niggos|black]] character in the series in a negative and racist light?'''
::A: [[Inos|That one]] is NOT a recurring character; the one who WILL be recurring characters are and will be like [[Jerkop|Police Officers]] like [[Louis Perez]].

*'''Q: Why did [[Ultra Sonichu]] cure [[Aspergers]], but did nothing for the physically challenged Rosechus in CWCville?'''
::A: [[Honor roll|Mental Problems can be cured Easier than Physical]].

*'''Q: Why do you constantly edit the letters you receive? Don't you think it is insulting and rude?'''
::A: I am working on that, and Editing Less.

*'''Q: Do you like zombies? What weapon would you use to defend yourself in the zombie apocalypse? Where would you hold out?'''
::A: No, I do not like zombies. I would use a [[Megatron pistol|Gun]]. [[14 Branchland Court|Where I can]].

*'''Q: If you claim to respect your fans, why is it okay for you to "promise" to do a Sonichu page everyday, and then not keep up on that promise?'''
::A: I am drawing the pages For Real; Hand-to-God. I have other life problems that delay me from getting them scanned and online sooner; Shoveling Snow, [[Chores]], [[Biological clock|Earlier Bedtime]] and Routine Resituating.

*'''Q: Why don't you just draw [[Wild]] a new girlfriend, so you can remove [[Simonla]] like Evan asked you to? Most people have more than one relationship in their lives, so it should not be that much of a problem. Or a you so uncreative that you can not think of a new character?'''
::A: I have stated before that when ONE finds [[Boyfriend-free girl|their Match]], they KEEP Each Other; I am NOT going to separate the Couple.

==22 February 2010==
*'''Q: How come your comics art hasn't improved since [[2005]], do you think you've reached your limit when it's come to the art of the Sonichu comic?'''
::A: On the contrary, my drawing skills have improved greatly over the years, yet it may be subtle and not obvious.

*'''Q: Why do you have a bedtime when you are around 30 years old?'''
::A: Everybody needs to sleep a while to recover energy from the past day.

*'''Q: What do you think of legally blind people?'''
::A: They're okay; they are keen to their other senses, and that is admirable. I have neutral to positive opinions of the legally blind.

*'''Q: Hey, Chris, what were your favorite after-school activities when you were a kid?'''
::A: [[Video games]] and Homework.

*'''Q: Were you ever involved in sports besides being the basketball towelboy, or did you take music lessons or art classes outside of school?'''
::A: I took a lot of Physical Education classes; I did not take classes outside of school before [[PVCC|college]].

*'''Q: If you can't get [[Son-Chu|your car]] out because of the snow, shouldn't now be the perfect time to work on updating your comic?'''
::A: I have been working on the comic the whole time, as you will see very soon.

*'''Q: What's your favorite food? Does your mom ever cook at home? If she asked you to fix dinner, what would you do?'''
::A: Macaroni and Cheese; Yes; a small meal or soup.

*'''Q: Are there any video games out right now that you really want to play, but haven't gotten a chance to yet?'''
::A: [[Fanmail Reading|The Orange Box]], [[God of War]] III and Heavy Rain.
::''Note: neither God of War III nor [[Wikipedia:Heavy Rain|Heavy Rain]] had been released when Chris answered this question.''

*'''Q: If you could change anything about yourself physically, what would you change and why?'''
::A: Weigh myself down to [[WeighIn|180 pounds]].

*'''Q: How often do you shower?'''
::A: [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|Nightly]].

*'''Q: How often do you visit with friends and family outside of the house?'''
::A: Sometimes.

*'''Q: Do you enjoy [[20 December 2009|playing]] with your [[cats]]?'''
::A: Yes.

*'''Q: Do you actually play with all the [[toys]] in your room? If not, why not donate some to children who actually will play with them?'''
::A: I do sometimes play with all my toys.

*'''Q: Do you envy Sonichu for having [[Rosechu|a wife]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|kids]]?'''
::A: No.

*'''Q: Which of the Rosechus is the sexiest in your opinion?'''
::A: The Original Rosechu.

*'''Q: If shoveling snow is that hard for you, why don't you just pay some kid [[Chris and money|$10]] to shovel your driveway?'''
::A: Hard work is good for me.

*'''Q: From between Issues [[Sonichu 0|#0]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]] Which [[Electric Hedgehog pokemon]] do you like least and why?'''
::A: [[Silvana Rosechu]], because of the [[Troll]] Influences, I felt forced to let [[Graduon]] magically make her a hermaphrodite for the sake of "TRANSFORM".

*'''Q: Have any of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|the Sonichus and Rosechus]] ever considered "[[Wikipedia:Swinging|swinging]]," aka swapping [[sex]] partners for the night?'''
::A: No.

*'''Q: What are the ten worst things that have happened to you in your life?'''
::A: 1) Trolls Pestering Me Constantly. 2) [[Julie|Learning that Ohio woman was actually a 13-year old boy]]. 3) Having[[PSN|my accounts]] hacked into. 4) [[Clyde Cash]] breaking into my ORIGINAL, which hosted The Original "[[CWC's Sonichu Site!|CWC's Sonichu Site]]", Tripod Account and screwing it up Royally. 5) Being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe|The (Game & Hobby) Place]] by that S.O.B., '''[[Michael Snyder]]'''; we never saw eye-to-eye, and for [[Chris and anger|some UNCOMPREHENDIBLE Reason]], aside from that time with my [[Nintendo|Wii]], He Hated Me, Period. 6) Learning of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] Website late October, [[2007]], followed by learning [[Lucas|TWO OF]] [[Mimms|THE TROLLS]] were old Pokémon TCG comrades in that same League I used to go to HAD PART in the creation of that D*** E.D. Page. 7) The loss of two True and Good Women who I had friendships with, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie ([[PandaHalo]]), and [[Sarah Jackson]]. 8) Being banned from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a year. 9) Having to leave behind all of my [[Gal-pal|Girl Friends]] from [[High School]] after Graduation. 10) [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Being pinned down on the floor by a teacher, two teacher aides, the Guidance Counsoler and the Principal on the floor and having my screams and cries recorded onto audiocassete back in 4th Grade]]. 11) The [[Autism]].

*'''Q: Chris, what are the good deeds you have done that earn you the right to go to heaven?'''
::A: I have done a lot of good in my life, yet I did some bad, [[Chris and remorse|most of which was accidental, unintentional or beyond my knowledge]]. To name a few good things: holding the door for many people in various places, [[Chris and Death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|honoring my promises]], being friendly and kind in person, donating to various causes and a lot of other good things.

*'''Q: Why does homosexuality immediately condemn the person to hell regardless of how good they are?'''
::A: I can not say; ask a Priest or Pastor.

*'''Q: At what age did you officially become mayor of CWCville?'''
::A: [[Sonichu chronology#2000|18]]

*'''Q: At what age will [[Daughter|your future daughter]] inherit the title of mayor of CWCville?'''
::A: 13 - 18

*'''Q: You know that crystal isn't a kind of metal, right?'''
::A: I know that; cyrstal is a kind of Mineral.

*'''Q: Who came up with the "Chris Chan" nickname?'''
::A: I did; it's the first halves of my first and last names, Chris tian Chan dler, and it has a "Jackie Chan" feel to it.

*'''Q: What inspired you to create Sonichu?'''
::A: The [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD Cover Project]] for Computer Graphics during my Seinor Year at [[Manchester High]]; Sonic and Pikachu.

*'''Q: Even though you've created him for over a decade, did Sonichu ever helped you accomplished anything?'''
::A: Yes; see myself as a better person.

*'''Q: Why did the [[Wailord]] dropped a boulder on [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubble]]'s adoptive mother [[Swampert]]?'''
::A: the boulder was attached to that Wailord's underbelly, like Barnicles, and in its leap over Mama Swampert, the boulder detached itself.

*'''Q: Since you hate gay people so much, why do you use [[Rainbow]]s in your comics?'''
::A: I do not understand why the [[Chris and Censorship|f***]] the gays decided to use Rainbows as their symbol; that's like asking Hitler why he used the Swastika (which originally was a Lucky Symbol) for [[CWCville|his whole mess]].

*'''Q: What purpose have the [[Chaotic Combo]] served through out the whole comic?'''
::A: It's like asking why [[Sailor Moon]] needed the Sailor Soldiers of the other 8 planets; BACKUP, ADVICE and COMRADESHIP.

*'''Q: Why do you add yourself as a character?'''
::A: If it was good enough for Shinichi Watanabe in [[Excel Saga]] and [[Puni Puni Poemy]], [[Chris and his Ego|it was good enough for me]]. But upon retrospect, I saw why it was a mistake.

==Unanswered==
===From [[Mailbag 58]]===
*'''Q: What do you think of people who read both Sonichu and Asperchu? Do you think they are loyal fans?

*'''Q: Have you considered letting more comic series onto the the [[CWCipedia]]?

*'''Q: Would you date someone who loved the [[Xbox]] as much as you love PS3 and hates PS3 as much as you do the Xbox?

*'''Q: If only [[slow in the minds]] could be turned into jerkops, why didn't you get turned into one?

*'''Q: Why do you refuse to buy your father nice gifts and just settle for cheap candy or even nothing?

*'''Q: You say you're against the death penalty, so why is it that in your most recent comic pages you decided to kill off the Asperpedia crew?

*'''Q: Do you wish you could punish the [[Asperpedia|Asperpals]] in real life the same way you did in your most recent comic book?

*'''Q: [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Why are things a fact when said by you, but an opinion when said by others?]]

*'''Q: What has been your greatest victory over the trolls?

*'''Q: What has been your biggest defeat at the hands of trolls?

===From [[Mailbag 59]]===
*'''Q:Why do you put Sonichu on your [[resume]] if you don't want it to be a job?

{{Mailbag}}

The High School Story

2017-02-05T12:48:26Z

RedVine01: /* Analysis */

"'''The High School Story'''" is a piece of alternate reality fiction [[Chris]] authored on the [[CWCipedia]] as part of his backstory for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

[[Image:carrie.jpg|thumb| Terrah LeAnne Yowman: ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL!]]
==Summary==
In it, Chris creates another [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]] persona, Terrah LeAnne Yowman (one [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|gender-flipped Mary Sue]] wasn't enough for Chris), a high-functioning [[autism|autistic]] young lady with psychic powers. She is accused of being a [[homos|lesbian]] even though she is STRAIGHT, and all because she has more male friends than [[gal pal|gal-pals]], showing us that Chris has no idea how lesbians act in real life, and was [[Chris and his ego|drawing inspiration from his own high school life]]. Despite supposedly being bullied, anyone who accuses her of lesbianism is beaten up by "a nearby homophobe". With little transition beyond establishing a [[JERKS|guy-pal]] with a suspiciously feminine name, Chris retells the story of his [[Manchester High School#Seinor Prom|"seinor prom"]] inexplicably fused with [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his graduation]].

Like Chris in his own real-life graduation, Terrah receives no special awards despite the [[Honor_roll#Chris's award winning art work|high quality]] of [[Chris and art|her artwork]]. She reacts rather unreasonably by exploding the high school, killing everyone there. She is thereafter cursed to wander the halls for eternity, although how there even ''are'' halls for her to haunt is a bit of a mystery since she just annihilated the entire fucking building.

{{quote|PRAISE MY CREATIVITY!|Terrah LeAnne Yowman, AND NOT CHRIS AT HIS GRADUATION}}

==Text==
{{Quotebox|The High School used to be the respectable school, known as [[Manchester High School|Menchi-Nasu High]]. It was left behind and abandoned, because of lack of funds for that one school. Then the students left, and the "students" bummed around. There was an accident that happened at a [[Manchester_High_School#Seinor_Prom|Seinor Prom]] in [[1999]]; a [[autism|High-Functioning Autistic]] individual with Psychic Powers, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Terrah LeAnne Yowman]], roamed the halls with growing social outreachings; she had a number of good guy-pals, and a few [[gal pal|gal-pals]]. She was constantly ridiculed with being labeled a [[homos|Lesbian]], because she hung out with MORE DUDES Mutually.

She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully [[Creepy stare|an intimidating glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight Homophobe would attack that bully with No Mercy; beat the crap out of that person.

Come her Seinor Prom in 1999, she asked her Best Guy-Pal, [[Tiffany Gowen|Tippanston Gowen]], to the Prom. And even though she felt nervous at first, he asked her to dance. She replied, "I have two left-feet." Still, he took her hand, and danced the night with her. She was most happy and in peace. Then after the last dance, he kissed her long and good. If she was still alive today, she would have been [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|anxiously waiting for the 2009 Reunion]] to return the favor of Gowen offering the Strong Autistic individual the best night of their life at the Prom.

Now, Terrah was a Great Artist, as she was well-known and well-praised in the number of Art Classes she took at Menchi-Nasu High.

Following the last dance, they had the Seinor Awards Ceremony; ALL the students stayed until the FINAL END of that night. Terrah got a Star-Pin for her Good Grades; that was the ONLY AWARD she would receive that night. She anxously awaited Awards for her Inspiring, Creative Artwork she had Hand-Painted, Carved, Molded, Drawn and all Media Taught to her, yet she received NO AWARDS FOR HER CREATIVITY. She felt distraught even when called out the passing of the ART AWARDS; Her Name was NOT SAID at all.

Only Few Left early enough to tell the tale, but AFTER the final award was passed, and during the FINAL DANCE, she was beside herself; feeling alone. In her Furious Rage in not being appreciated Creatively EVEN ONCE, she concentrated ALL HER PSYCHIC POWERS, SHOUTED "PRAISE MY CREATIVITY!", then a NOVA FLASH beamed from the Prom location, seen from as far as a Hundred Miles away. All that remained was Total Silence, Terrah's gown and Star Pin, and just nearby the gown, Tippanston's Dress Jacket, with a Wedding Ring in a box, and engraved in it, "To Terrah, My Sweetest, Most Creative Woman Ever. I Love You." Tippanston wanted to wait till he had brought her back home to propose, but sadly, he died with her that night.

Since then, Terrah haunted the halls of Menchi-Nasu High, drawing the Cheerleader Raccoon Character, [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Francine StripeCheer]], she had created from her freshman year as Varsity Cheerleader Manager. }}

==Analysis==
Chris, as always, fails to understand the differences in gender relations and perception in society, as while a man who hangs out with a lot of women as strictly friends will get called gay, a woman who hangs out with a lot of guys is more likely to be called a "[[Gal pal|tease]]" or a [[Tomgirl|tomboy]]. The only reasonable interaction in the story — a boy proposing to a girl on prom night, which is a melodramatic cliché but still happens in real life once in a while — is soured when one realizes "Tippansten" is meant to be a gender-flipped [[Tiffany Gowen]], girl Chris knew from high school, which means he also still wants a [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|heroine fresh from the shop]] to rescue him from a world that doesn't appreciate his "[[Chris and art|art]]."

Perhaps this desire to be rescued is what prompted him to try out the gender-flip itself, as well: In heterosexual romantic relationships, it's generally the guy who is expected to initiate things by asking the girl out. Chris, however, given his [[noviophobia]], the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]], and having never had to work for anything in his life, would prefer to take the passive role. Therefore, he creates a female alter-ego, for whom this passiveness will hopefully be seen as more societally acceptable. Sadly, Terrah fares just as badly as Chris did and dies a [[virgin with rage]].

This story also confirms (again) that Chris is terrible at making up names, with "Tippanston" and "Francine StripeCheer" joining the ranks of [[Simonla]].

Interestingly, Francine StripeCheer is an analogue to [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Bionic]], rather than Sonichu. Notice how Bionic the basketball-playing hedgehog was turned into [[Megagi La Skunk|a cheerleading raccoon]], as Chris is [[Women's rights|far too sexist]] to have a girl actually playing a sport.

Despite the inherently small framework of a short story, Chris still manages to make many continuity errors. In addition to the above-noted incomplete complete destruction of the school, it is also said that some students survived the hellsent hissyfit by leaving the prom early, despite it also being stated that all the attendees stayed till the "FINAL END". Chris also proposes two alternative futures had Terrah not lost her shit at the prom, which in context seem mutually exclusive; one in which she anxiously awaits the school reunion so she can ask Tippenston to dance to "return the favor", and another in which Tippanston proposes to Terrah after the prom (and she presumably accepts). Thus, even when Chris is writing about things that are hypothetical ''in-universe'', he still manages to screw it up.

The whole story is of course an obvious rip-off of the [[1976]] [[The Wallflower|Stephen King]] film ''[[Wikipedia:Carrie (film)|Carrie]]'', in which an unattractive young girl with budding telekinetic powers is bullied so severely that she ends up destroying her prom hall and killing hundreds. It has been suggested that Chris is too sheltered to have read the novel; it contains some intense and raw themes, rather, Chris has probably seen the movie. By no coincidence, the movie ''Carrie'' appeared in Chris's [[Netflix]] queue shortly before he wrote this story. Considering how Chris can equate the death of [[Patti Chandler|his dog]] to the death of [[Ryan Cash|a human being]], it's easy to think he would consider not getting an undeserved minor art award exactly as bad as (if not worse than) having swine's blood dumped on him and being ridiculed by his peers.

Oh, and also, this is one of the only stories not from the backwaters of [[4-Cent Garbage|4-chan]] to glorify a homophobe [[Kick the Autistic|beating the]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] out of people.

==Fan comic==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:F1p11.jpg
Image:F1p12.jpg
Image:F1p13.jpg
Image:F1p14.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of The High School Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R88HlvfLXB4}}
| stardate = 28 [[January 2010]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| subject =
| type =
| info = Apologies to Howard Shore.
}}

==See also==
*[[Things Chris has ripped off]]

{{Writings}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:High School Story}}
[[Category:Prose]]

The High School Story

2017-02-05T12:46:59Z

RedVine01: /* Analysis */

"'''The High School Story'''" is a piece of alternate reality fiction [[Chris]] authored on the [[CWCipedia]] as part of his backstory for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

[[Image:carrie.jpg|thumb| Terrah LeAnne Yowman: ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL!]]
==Summary==
In it, Chris creates another [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]] persona, Terrah LeAnne Yowman (one [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|gender-flipped Mary Sue]] wasn't enough for Chris), a high-functioning [[autism|autistic]] young lady with psychic powers. She is accused of being a [[homos|lesbian]] even though she is STRAIGHT, and all because she has more male friends than [[gal pal|gal-pals]], showing us that Chris has no idea how lesbians act in real life, and was [[Chris and his ego|drawing inspiration from his own high school life]]. Despite supposedly being bullied, anyone who accuses her of lesbianism is beaten up by "a nearby homophobe". With little transition beyond establishing a [[JERKS|guy-pal]] with a suspiciously feminine name, Chris retells the story of his [[Manchester High School#Seinor Prom|"seinor prom"]] inexplicably fused with [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his graduation]].

Like Chris in his own real-life graduation, Terrah receives no special awards despite the [[Honor_roll#Chris's award winning art work|high quality]] of [[Chris and art|her artwork]]. She reacts rather unreasonably by exploding the high school, killing everyone there. She is thereafter cursed to wander the halls for eternity, although how there even ''are'' halls for her to haunt is a bit of a mystery since she just annihilated the entire fucking building.

{{quote|PRAISE MY CREATIVITY!|Terrah LeAnne Yowman, AND NOT CHRIS AT HIS GRADUATION}}

==Text==
{{Quotebox|The High School used to be the respectable school, known as [[Manchester High School|Menchi-Nasu High]]. It was left behind and abandoned, because of lack of funds for that one school. Then the students left, and the "students" bummed around. There was an accident that happened at a [[Manchester_High_School#Seinor_Prom|Seinor Prom]] in [[1999]]; a [[autism|High-Functioning Autistic]] individual with Psychic Powers, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Terrah LeAnne Yowman]], roamed the halls with growing social outreachings; she had a number of good guy-pals, and a few [[gal pal|gal-pals]]. She was constantly ridiculed with being labeled a [[homos|Lesbian]], because she hung out with MORE DUDES Mutually.

She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully [[Creepy stare|an intimidating glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight Homophobe would attack that bully with No Mercy; beat the crap out of that person.

Come her Seinor Prom in 1999, she asked her Best Guy-Pal, [[Tiffany Gowen|Tippanston Gowen]], to the Prom. And even though she felt nervous at first, he asked her to dance. She replied, "I have two left-feet." Still, he took her hand, and danced the night with her. She was most happy and in peace. Then after the last dance, he kissed her long and good. If she was still alive today, she would have been [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|anxiously waiting for the 2009 Reunion]] to return the favor of Gowen offering the Strong Autistic individual the best night of their life at the Prom.

Now, Terrah was a Great Artist, as she was well-known and well-praised in the number of Art Classes she took at Menchi-Nasu High.

Following the last dance, they had the Seinor Awards Ceremony; ALL the students stayed until the FINAL END of that night. Terrah got a Star-Pin for her Good Grades; that was the ONLY AWARD she would receive that night. She anxously awaited Awards for her Inspiring, Creative Artwork she had Hand-Painted, Carved, Molded, Drawn and all Media Taught to her, yet she received NO AWARDS FOR HER CREATIVITY. She felt distraught even when called out the passing of the ART AWARDS; Her Name was NOT SAID at all.

Only Few Left early enough to tell the tale, but AFTER the final award was passed, and during the FINAL DANCE, she was beside herself; feeling alone. In her Furious Rage in not being appreciated Creatively EVEN ONCE, she concentrated ALL HER PSYCHIC POWERS, SHOUTED "PRAISE MY CREATIVITY!", then a NOVA FLASH beamed from the Prom location, seen from as far as a Hundred Miles away. All that remained was Total Silence, Terrah's gown and Star Pin, and just nearby the gown, Tippanston's Dress Jacket, with a Wedding Ring in a box, and engraved in it, "To Terrah, My Sweetest, Most Creative Woman Ever. I Love You." Tippanston wanted to wait till he had brought her back home to propose, but sadly, he died with her that night.

Since then, Terrah haunted the halls of Menchi-Nasu High, drawing the Cheerleader Raccoon Character, [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Francine StripeCheer]], she had created from her freshman year as Varsity Cheerleader Manager. }}

==Analysis==
Chris, as always, fails to understand the differences in gender relations and perception in society, as while a man who hangs out with a lot of women as strictly friends will get called gay, a woman who hangs out with a lot of guys is more likely to be called a "[[Gal pal|tease]]" or a [[Tomgirl|tomboy]]. The only reasonable interaction in the story — a boy proposing to a girl on prom night, which is a melodramatic cliché but still happens in real life once in a while — is soured when one realizes "Tippansten" is meant to be a gender-flipped [[Tiffany Gowen]], girl Chris knew from high school, which means he also still wants a [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|heroine fresh from the shop]] to rescue him from a world that doesn't appreciate his "[[Chris and art|art]]."

Perhaps this desire to be rescued is what prompted him to try out the gender-flip itself, as well: In heterosexual romantic relationships, it's generally the guy who is expected to initiate things by asking the girl out. Chris, however, given his [[noviophobia]], the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]], and having never had to work for anything in his life, would prefer to take the passive role. Therefore, he creates a female alter-ego, for whom this passiveness will hopefully be seen as more societally acceptable. Sadly, Terrah fares just as badly as Chris did and dies a [[virgin with rage]].

This story also confirms (again) that Chris is terrible at making up names, with "Tippanston" and "Francine StripeCheer" joining the ranks of [[Simonla]].

Interestingly, Francine StripeCheer is an analogue to [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Bionic]], rather than Sonichu. Notice how Bionic the basketball-playing hedgehog was turned into [[Megagi La Skunk|a cheerleading raccoon]], as Chris is [[Women's rights|far too sexist]] to have a girl actually playing a sport.

Despite the inherently small framework of a short story, Chris still manages to make many continuity errors. In addition to the above-noted incomplete complete destruction of the school, it is also said that some students survived the hellsent hissyfit by leaving the prom early, despite it also being stated that all the attendees stayed till the "FINAL END". Chris also proposes two alternative futures had Terrah not lost her shit at the prom, which in context seem mutually exclusive; one in which she anxiously awaits the school reunion so she can ask Tippenston to dance to "return the favor", and another in which Tippanston proposes to Terrah after the prom (and she presumably accepts). Thus, even when Chris is writing about things that are hypothetical ''in-universe'', he still manages to screw it up.

The whole story is of course an obvious rip-off of the [[1976]] [[The Wallflower|Stephen King]] film ''[[Wikipedia:Carrie (film)|Carrie]]'', in which an unattractive young girl with budding telekinetic powers is bullied so severely that she ends up destroying her prom hall and killing hundreds. It has been suggested that Chris is too sheltered to have read the novel; it contains some intense and raw themes, rather, Chris has probably seen the movie. By no coincidence, the movie ''Carrie'' appeared in Chris's [[Netflix]] queue shortly before he wrote this story. Considering how Chris can equate the death of [[Patti Chandler|his dog]] to the death of [[Ryan Cash|a human being]], it's easy to think he would consider not getting an undeserved minor art award exactly as bad as (if not worse than) having swine's blood dumped on him and being ridiculed by his peers.

Oh, and also, this is one of the only stories not from the backwaters of [[4-cent Garbage|4-chan]] to glorify a homophobe [[Kick the Autistic|beating the]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] out of people.

==Fan comic==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:F1p11.jpg
Image:F1p12.jpg
Image:F1p13.jpg
Image:F1p14.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of The High School Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R88HlvfLXB4}}
| stardate = 28 [[January 2010]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| subject =
| type =
| info = Apologies to Howard Shore.
}}

==See also==
*[[Things Chris has ripped off]]

{{Writings}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:High School Story}}
[[Category:Prose]]

The High School Story

2017-02-05T12:42:04Z

RedVine01: /* Summary */

"'''The High School Story'''" is a piece of alternate reality fiction [[Chris]] authored on the [[CWCipedia]] as part of his backstory for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

[[Image:carrie.jpg|thumb| Terrah LeAnne Yowman: ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL!]]
==Summary==
In it, Chris creates another [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]] persona, Terrah LeAnne Yowman (one [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|gender-flipped Mary Sue]] wasn't enough for Chris), a high-functioning [[autism|autistic]] young lady with psychic powers. She is accused of being a [[homos|lesbian]] even though she is STRAIGHT, and all because she has more male friends than [[gal pal|gal-pals]], showing us that Chris has no idea how lesbians act in real life, and was [[Chris and his ego|drawing inspiration from his own high school life]]. Despite supposedly being bullied, anyone who accuses her of lesbianism is beaten up by "a nearby homophobe". With little transition beyond establishing a [[JERKS|guy-pal]] with a suspiciously feminine name, Chris retells the story of his [[Manchester High School#Seinor Prom|"seinor prom"]] inexplicably fused with [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his graduation]].

Like Chris in his own real-life graduation, Terrah receives no special awards despite the [[Honor_roll#Chris's award winning art work|high quality]] of [[Chris and art|her artwork]]. She reacts rather unreasonably by exploding the high school, killing everyone there. She is thereafter cursed to wander the halls for eternity, although how there even ''are'' halls for her to haunt is a bit of a mystery since she just annihilated the entire fucking building.

{{quote|PRAISE MY CREATIVITY!|Terrah LeAnne Yowman, AND NOT CHRIS AT HIS GRADUATION}}

==Text==
{{Quotebox|The High School used to be the respectable school, known as [[Manchester High School|Menchi-Nasu High]]. It was left behind and abandoned, because of lack of funds for that one school. Then the students left, and the "students" bummed around. There was an accident that happened at a [[Manchester_High_School#Seinor_Prom|Seinor Prom]] in [[1999]]; a [[autism|High-Functioning Autistic]] individual with Psychic Powers, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Terrah LeAnne Yowman]], roamed the halls with growing social outreachings; she had a number of good guy-pals, and a few [[gal pal|gal-pals]]. She was constantly ridiculed with being labeled a [[homos|Lesbian]], because she hung out with MORE DUDES Mutually.

She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully [[Creepy stare|an intimidating glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight Homophobe would attack that bully with No Mercy; beat the crap out of that person.

Come her Seinor Prom in 1999, she asked her Best Guy-Pal, [[Tiffany Gowen|Tippanston Gowen]], to the Prom. And even though she felt nervous at first, he asked her to dance. She replied, "I have two left-feet." Still, he took her hand, and danced the night with her. She was most happy and in peace. Then after the last dance, he kissed her long and good. If she was still alive today, she would have been [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|anxiously waiting for the 2009 Reunion]] to return the favor of Gowen offering the Strong Autistic individual the best night of their life at the Prom.

Now, Terrah was a Great Artist, as she was well-known and well-praised in the number of Art Classes she took at Menchi-Nasu High.

Following the last dance, they had the Seinor Awards Ceremony; ALL the students stayed until the FINAL END of that night. Terrah got a Star-Pin for her Good Grades; that was the ONLY AWARD she would receive that night. She anxously awaited Awards for her Inspiring, Creative Artwork she had Hand-Painted, Carved, Molded, Drawn and all Media Taught to her, yet she received NO AWARDS FOR HER CREATIVITY. She felt distraught even when called out the passing of the ART AWARDS; Her Name was NOT SAID at all.

Only Few Left early enough to tell the tale, but AFTER the final award was passed, and during the FINAL DANCE, she was beside herself; feeling alone. In her Furious Rage in not being appreciated Creatively EVEN ONCE, she concentrated ALL HER PSYCHIC POWERS, SHOUTED "PRAISE MY CREATIVITY!", then a NOVA FLASH beamed from the Prom location, seen from as far as a Hundred Miles away. All that remained was Total Silence, Terrah's gown and Star Pin, and just nearby the gown, Tippanston's Dress Jacket, with a Wedding Ring in a box, and engraved in it, "To Terrah, My Sweetest, Most Creative Woman Ever. I Love You." Tippanston wanted to wait till he had brought her back home to propose, but sadly, he died with her that night.

Since then, Terrah haunted the halls of Menchi-Nasu High, drawing the Cheerleader Raccoon Character, [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Francine StripeCheer]], she had created from her freshman year as Varsity Cheerleader Manager. }}

==Analysis==
Chris, as always, fails to understand the differences in gender relations and perception in society, as while a man who hangs out with a lot of women as strictly friends will get called gay, a woman who hangs out with a lot of guys is more likely to be called a "[[Gal pal|tease]]" or a [[Tomgirl|tomboy]]. The only reasonable interaction in the story — a boy proposing to a girl on prom night, which is a melodramatic cliché but still happens in real life once in a while — is soured when one realizes "Tippansten" is meant to be a gender-flipped [[Tiffany Gowen]], girl Chris knew from high school, which means he also still wants a [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|heroine fresh from the shop]] to rescue him from a world that doesn't appreciate his "[[Chris and art|art]]."

Perhaps this desire to be rescued is what prompted him to try out the gender-flip itself, as well: In heterosexual romantic relationships, it's generally the guy who is expected to initiate things by asking the girl out. Chris, however, given his [[noviophobia]], the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]], and having never had to work for anything in his life, would prefer to take the passive role. Therefore, he creates a female alter-ego, for whom this passiveness will hopefully be seen as more societally acceptable. Sadly, Terrah fares just as badly as Chris did and dies a [[virgin with rage]].

This story also confirms (again) that Chris is terrible at making up names, with "Tippanston" and "Francine StripeCheer" joining the ranks of [[Simonla]].

Interestingly, Francine StripeCheer is an analogue to [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Bionic]], rather than Sonichu. Notice how Bionic the basketball-playing hedgehog was turned into [[Megagi La Skunk|a cheerleading raccoon]], as Chris is [[Women's rights|far too sexist]] to have a girl actually playing a sport.

Despite the inherently small framework of a short story, Chris still manages to make many continuity errors. In addition to the above-noted incomplete complete destruction of the school, it is also said that some students survived the hellsent hissyfit by leaving the prom early, despite it also being stated that all the attendees stayed till the "FINAL END". Chris also proposes two alternative futures had Terrah not lost her shit at the prom, which in context seem mutually exclusive; one in which she anxiously awaits the school reunion so she can ask Tippenston to dance to "return the favor", and another in which Tippanston proposes to Terrah after the prom (and she presumably accepts). Thus, even when Chris is writing about things that are hypothetical ''in-universe'', he still manages to screw it up.

The whole story is of course an obvious rip-off of the [[1976]] [[The Wallflower|Stephen King]] film ''[[Wikipedia:Carrie (film)|Carrie]]'', in which an unattractive young girl with budding telekinetic powers is bullied so severely that she ends up destroying her prom hall and killing hundreds. It has been suggested that Chris is too sheltered to have read the novel; it contains some intense and raw themes, rather, Chris has probably seen the movie. By no coincidence, the movie ''Carrie'' appeared in Chris's [[Netflix]] queue shortly before he wrote this story. Considering how Chris can equate the death of [[Patti Chandler|his dog]] to the death of [[Ryan Cash|a human being]], it's easy to think he would consider not getting an undeserved minor art award exactly as bad as (if not worse than) having swine's blood dumped on him and being ridiculed by his peers.

==Fan comic==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:F1p11.jpg
Image:F1p12.jpg
Image:F1p13.jpg
Image:F1p14.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of The High School Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R88HlvfLXB4}}
| stardate = 28 [[January 2010]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| subject =
| type =
| info = Apologies to Howard Shore.
}}

==See also==
*[[Things Chris has ripped off]]

{{Writings}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:High School Story}}
[[Category:Prose]]

Homos

2017-02-05T12:38:13Z

RedVine01: /* “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler’s Address to the Homosexuals */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
{{Quote|I Am Straight; [[China|Vaginas]] and [[Plush breasts|Boobies]] Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.|[[Chris]].<ref>[[Mailbag 31]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|There Was a time before I realized mine being a female soul trapped in a male-born body, when I was homophobic. But I became better aware of these kind and open-hearted people, and learned how understanding and compassionate they are, and with that, losing the homophobia, I felt more at peace with myself and those around me.|Chris evolves.<ref>[[January_2017_Facebook_Posts#Open_letter_to_Barron_Trump]]</ref>}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which Chris referred to gay people--almost invariably gay males--nigh exclusively at the time of his discovery. He has also occasionally used phrases such as "those of the wrong orientation", because even saying the word "homo" or "gay" makes him uncomfortable.

From the very beginning of his [[internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|STAY STRAIGHT]]" have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects. Chris's ire for male homosexuals is confusing, since they, of all people, pose the least threat to his [[Love Quest]], and seems to be motivated entirely by his own sexual insecurities.

At various times, most recently following his coming out as a "[[Tomgirl|transgender]] [[Gaybian|lesbian]]" in [[2014]], Chris has seemingly recanted previous homophobic statements, claiming to have become fully supportive of equality and human rights. In nearly every case, this has been at the request of a gal-pal or sweetheart, and like most of his [[Chris and remorse|apologies]] has been insincere. He apparently remains repulsed and unnerved by homosexual men on a personal level.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris. <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause him to be "leered off the straight path." His terror has been such that he was barely able to bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He seems to struggle with intrusive homosexual thoughts; he has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle]] without being "freaked out."<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris revealed that he had to cover a section of his computer screen with a piece of paper so that he could browse the [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s pro-gay advertisements. Nothing will get Chris angrier than being "mislabeled" as a homo.

Chris's homophobia seems to have emerged sometime in 2006, as his very earliest expression of anxiety is his classic "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|Future Message]]," released in February 2007. At no time before this, either in his comics or his [[diary]] or his private correspondence, does he make any reference to homosexuality. It apparently grew out of the complex stew of his [[noviophobia]], his failure to achieve his Love Quest, his admiration for [[My Little Pony|girly toys]], his own [[Chris and gender|gender confusion]], his loathing of [[muscle bra|male bodies]], and [[autism]].
[[File:Taking it in the briefs.JPG|thumb|right|You're making this painfully obvious, Chris.]]

==Defenses against becoming a homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by stomping on [[vibrator]]s and showcasing index cards indicating their straightness on their shoes.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Chris uses many strange and totemic objects, from a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|poster of Sailor Moon]] to his [[Optimus Prime]] toy, to aggressively assert his straightness. Chris has said that he stared at his Sailor Moon poster every day to stave off temptations of homosexuality. The centerfold poster of [[The Simpsons#Marge poster|Marge Simpson's ''Playboy'' edition]] was another of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she is a married cartoon character does not seem to have dissuaded him. Chris also subscribes to ''Playboy'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to breasts and china.

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) fans sent Chris questions on the CWCipedia asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tended to suggest what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas included thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarified that one needs not buy a Sailor Moon poster in particular; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick. He believes these rituals are necessary to "maintain" sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris has also encouraged women to not [[Alcohol|drink]], [[Tobacky|smoke]], or be physically abused while pregnant, as this could cause the baby to be born homosexual, as if Homosexuality is like Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. <ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref> Chris is also convinced that his chances of becoming homosexual have been raised because he did not engage in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education</ref> hence his oft-stated regret that he did not get [[dating education]] classes in high school, and his recommendation that they be made available for the youth of today.

Considering the myriad of habits Chris has cultivated which are highly atypical for a straight male, it seems certain that he has been at the very least sexually confused. He is demonstrably very aggressive and insecure about it.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris is not simply afraid of becoming a homo himself--he hates all gay men. This animosity seems to result primarily from his fear of them (and all men) and their supposed ability or desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] - all of them - as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] must be gay. It also reveals a belief that all of his trolls are male, since Chris uses "homo" exclusively in reference to gay men. This notion is not only [[Vivian Gee|demonstrably false]], but in fact [[Chris and reality|completely delusional]], since many of Chris's greatest trolls have been women, and Chris knows it. This exercise in selective memory likely stems from Chris's loathing of male [[JERKS]] and inversely-proportional adoration of [[Gal-pals|women]].

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59.}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic the Hedgehog|one of his own abominations]].]]

Chris further went on to propose a bizarre form of conversion therapy in which all gay men would be imprisoned and made to sleep with both female offenders and prostitutes, thereby "reprogramming" them. Interestingly, a certain [[wikipedia:Heinrich Himmler|Herr Himmler]] had a similar idea, suggesting that "pink triangle" concentration camp prisoners be forced to sleep with (female) camp prostitutes.

{{quote|[they would be] taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts.|Chris, 2 January 2009, 12:01.}}

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his sagacious opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He advocated the lifting of the ban, but only so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

The universe of [[CWCville]] has also seen an anti-gay jihad. On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality is found, the people involved are [[Chris and the Law|arrested and fined heavily]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris's comic self travels into the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (An idea stolen from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Gay|Family Gay]]"). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Wikipedia:Sonderbehandlung|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]]). Chris then brought back to the present enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight. Ironically, a vaccination traditionally consists of introducing a small amount of the disease to a body to stimulate the immune system - so Chris unwittingly implied that his blood contains the dreaded homo virus.

A classic case of Chris's homophobia surfaced in the struggle over advertisements on his CWCipedia. Jack Thaddeus purchased ad space on the CWCipedia to put up 2 ads. One featured Peter Griffin of ''Family Guy'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights; and the other promoted Mexican tourism with a cartoon [[pickle]]. Chris unsurprisingly went berserk, stating:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''|Chris.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In protest, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site calling for a boycott of Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. To sum it up, in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that would ''not'' win him any gay friends whatsoever.

As with his fear of becoming a homo, the origins of Chris's deep homophobia are not clear. Certainly [[Bob]] had an influence, as the [[Matthew Noble call]] showed that he had the same kind of deranged hatred and prejudice as his son. On 7 January 2010, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight:

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

If this is true, Chris made no reference to it at the time, restricting his hatred solely to the heterosexual male [[JERKS]]. It is certainly ironic considering his more recent views on lesbianism. It also adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by his being childish and whiny about not getting his way with ''one'' woman who turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

Chris knows that his homophobia is unpopular with his fans, and he has often tried to persuade the public that he respects homosexuals for "who they are". However, he usually betrays his sincere intolerance of different lifestyles soon afterward - often within the same statement. On [[CWC Update 18 February 2009|18 February 2009]], for example, Chris issued one of his retractions of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" just as he respects his gal pals and his [[List of Chris's sweethearts|sweethearts]]. However, this was done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|a mere month later]] Chris was [[Chris and religion|reciting verses from the Bible]] to once again preach against the vile homos.

On 14 [[June 2009]], Chris posted a "[[music]]" [[video]] called "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]", which, in his tradition of ruining everything you ever loved, is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s satirical song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''. Later on that same day, he published an [[I'm Sorry, Dude|apology]] for the video and insisted that he likes gays who "ac...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Chris was of course unaware of the various other career accomplishments of Stephen Fry. It seems that this apology was only posted in the first place for the sake of his gal-pal [[Kim]]'s boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

On 12 January 2010, Chris again appeared to soften his stance, saying that "I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within CWCville." However, in the same breath Chris clarified, "gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> The reason why gay marriage isn't an "equal relationship right" is not readily apparent.

More recently, not long after coming out as a "male lesbian," Chris felt deeply uncomfortable with being perceived as "gay" or "homo," and in Facebook statements attempted to exclude gay men from his crusade for gender equality. No doubt under the influence of his new sweetheart [[Catherine]] and other gal-pals, Chris retracted these clumsy statements, apologizing for the umpteenth time.

{{quote|I am accepting of the gays as people, just like most any individual person. Seriously, you all be proud of who you are. All I ask is not to find any reason to feel anger towards anyone of any orientation, race or whatever, based on their individual actions or offense as an individual person of self. Also, please disregard all of my past and Way past thoughts of turning gays straight; that was very wrong of me. I am very sorry about that, and continue to be true and proud of yourselves for who you are, as I am Very Proud of myself for being a Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body).|Chris, surprisingly redeemable.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

He also announced his support for the Human Rights Campaign, going so far as to say that homophobics "are none other than the Cyber-Bullies and Internet Trolls who put hate on the innocent around the world; Young and Old. Some of which even put pressure on to force you into being something you know fully that you are Not!" Interestingly, his prior notion that all trolls are homosexuals had been completely reversed to the idea that they're all homo''phobes'', illustrating that Chris still believes that any detractor of his is part of an organized movement and [[Chris and his Ego|has personal flaws]].

However, if the past is any judge, the end of his relationship with Catherine has no doubt caused his homophobia to resurface. He confirmed in late 2014 that despite the fact that comic Chris shares his new gender identity, [[Reldnahc]], his opposite, is still an evil violent homo.<ref>Commissions</ref>

On 26 [[June 2015]], the Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of gay marriage. Chris, shockingly enough, reacted very positively towards this:

{{Quotebox|Congratulations to us all for Nationwide Marriage Equality! If a holiday be made of June 26, 2015, how about ‪#‎PridependenceDay‬!

Now, I still require my Sweetheart to be my future wife. As a ‪#‎Lesbian‬ ‪#‎Transwoman‬, I do feel I am compatible with Any woman.

And No, I am not mistaken. I have been genuinely feeling and [[List of Chris's lies|identifying like a woman for about my whole lifetime]]. I never could appreciate the [[JERK|male's]] Neanderthal interests. And I felt more appreciative and comprehending of [[Women's Rights|fashions, makeup, shopping]], [[Chris and remorse|empathy]], identifying feelings and [[Death threats|looking to resolve problems]] [[Sub-episodes|reasonably]].

Plus, I have a great deal of [[Chris and Anger|self control]], and I can bring good and pleasant [[semen|tidings]] to an all woman party.

‪#‎LoveWins‬ ‪#‎OneFamily‬ ‪#‎LGBTQ‬ ‪#‎Pridependence‬ ‪#‎Pride‬}}

In [[October 2015]], Chris released a [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|video]] in which he apologizes for his past homophobic statements and iterates that he is now supportive of male homosexuals, while still drilling the point home that Sonichu and Rosechu are straight. He almost simultaneously [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Sonichu 10]] and replaced the fictional gay epidemic with a bizarre [[Nombie-zazis|Nazi zombie]] premise, which still has homophobic implications given the context of the comic.

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'm STRAIGHT! I'm STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE the homos!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''[[Lie|I. Am. STRAIGHT!]]'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

===“Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler’s Address to the Homosexuals===
On 6 August 2009, at a time when the trolls were getting the most mileage out of baiting Chris regarding his sexual orientation, Chris posted a wide-ranging, [[Chris and anger|hate-fuelled]] rant on the [[CWCipedia]] which he hoped would clear up all misconceptions. His "Address to the Homosexuals," subtitled "I AM STRAIGHT!!! NOT HOMO; NOT BI; STRAIGHT!!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS!" is a classic statement on the issue. Unfortunately it had no noticeable effect on the trolling. The essay in full:

{{quotebox|
Good day, I write this essay with sound mind to address the major issues that has been bugging me constantly for the past few yeas, The Pressure and '''Stress''' FROM the Homosexual Population.

First off, as I have said OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND '''OVER Infinite Number Of Times''', ''I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, AM STRAIGHT.'' '''[[Tomgirl Saga|No Question or]] [[Gaybian|Shadow of a Doubt, EVER.]]'''

I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; '''NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW.''' Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head. Every time of such pictures’ appearance, ''I feel Queasy and want to Throw Up.'' I humbly apologize for being offensive, but that is how I feel.

As a human being, I have no hard feelings conversing and associating with the homosexuals at any time. Individually, they each have a right to their own opinions, perceptions and peaceful lives. I fully understand and respect that.

''The only thing that really Grinds My Gears Harshly is being '''Wrongfully Labeled as a Homosexual when I am straight.'''''

I am aware of the way I [[Speech impediment|stutter]], space my words and all that from the way I talk, but I assure you, that I sometimes have trouble fully comprehending situations and status at first; it sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, ''I am Sometimes Retarded.''

And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because '''the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY'''; kept down with the ''Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend''. I am not a man who likes confrontations with the guy who has spoken for the woman I’m eying over. And during my High School Years, '''I WAS NAÏVE on the subject of DATING''' (''Bring in Dating Education Classes, and Run them Alongside or Before Sexual Education, and make Dating Education Equally Mandatory)''. [[Honor roll|It had not dawned on me that I NEEDED TO BE DATING until AFTER I had turned Twenty-One-Years Old]], during my Third Year attending Piedmont Virginia Community College.

And my '''Sonichu and Rosechu Comic Pages'''; again, I understand each individual person has their own perception of things, BUT Contrary to the individual perceptions among some people, '''The Comics, Drawings, and ALL Words ALL HAD NO MEANING OF ANYTHING Homosexual Whatsoever!''' I Personally in Real Life AND in the Comic Pages and all that '''PROMOTE BEING STRAIGHT''', No Question or Shadow of a Doubt.

All Those of You have Heavily Wrongfully Misunderstood Parts of All the Comic Pages and all that of such.

'''I, All my Sonichus, Rosechus, and citizens of Cwcville, Virginia, Do Not Appreciate At All Being Wrongfully Labled as homosexuals. IT REALLY INFURIATES ME, Sonichu, Rosechu and EVERYBODY ELSE.'''

I have also heard of My Sonichu being ''written in College Essays that promote homosexuality.'' And even worse, ''promoting him in the Gay Pride Parades.'' '''WRONG LABELS; STOP WRITING OR PROMOTING ME OR MY CHARACTERS AS SUCH!''' ''[[Reldnahc Notsew Niatsirhc|ALL Sonichus Are Straight!]] [[Silvana Rosechu|ALL Rosechus Are Straight!]] I Am Straight! My Comics are STRAIGHT COMICS.'' I, Sonichu and Rosechu, '''We Never Want to be part of ANY AND ALL Homosexual-Promoting Papers or Events, because with EVERY ITEM that is created from NOT OF MY OWN HANDS that EVEN Inklings such Wrongful Labelings upon, ME, Sonichu, Rosechu, and ALL MY STRAIGHT CHARACTERS, WE ARE ALL BEING DISREPECTED!'''

We will Never Take the Misunderstandings, Mislabelings And All The Like Sitting Down.

I, Personally, would RATHER have a PAINFUL Gender-Change Operation than EVER Turn Homosexual.

'''So, to reiterate, I, and 96 % of ALL CHARACTERS, are ALL STRAIGHT!''' ''NEVER EVER CALL me, my comics, or any of MY STRAIGHT Characters GAY!''

<nowiki>*</nowiki>sigh*

And to conclude, while I personally do not care about the homosexual lifestyle that swift, and I personally respect each individual homosexual person as individual human beings, '''The MAIN thing that really Infuriates Me is being called gay. DO NOT EVER Call Me Gay, or EVER Question My Sexual Orientation.
'''

''[[Lie|I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, Am Straight]]. Period.
''

Thank you.}}

==Views on lesbianism==

Whereas Chris's discomfort with homosexual males has been fairly consistent, his views on lesbianism have wildly vacillated. In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, "[[The High School Story]]", his Mary Sue character Terrah LeAnne Yowman is ridiculed and accused of being a lesbian by kids at her high school because she hangs around with male friends. As the work serves as a backstory to the villainous [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], Terrah's bullying may have served as a fictional inverse parallel to the endless accusations of homosexuality lodged by Chris' detractors, illustrating Chris' worldview of implied homosexuality as an insult.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[Creepy stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight [[Christian Weston Chandler|Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 25 July 2009, Chris produced a [[CWC "Boyfriend"|rambling and nonsensical video]] to the tune of Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend". In the middle of the video, Chris sings about the importance of "being straight" and intersperses a "STAY STRAIGHT" caption on a photo of a lesbian couple split in two.

{{quote|
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me!
Hey, you! Hey, you!
You need to be straight, girl!
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend! }}

Later, Chris would gradually revise his former hard-line attitude against lesbians. In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Cwcipedia: Sonichu]</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> Chris may have shoehorned a lesbian character into ''Sonichu'' to appear more tolerant, but his attempt comes off as half-hearted in light of his continual derision of gay men and insistence that Heather hide her sexuality.

In [[Mumble 1]], which took place on the last day of 2009, Chris declared his support for lesbians and reiterated his simultaneous hatred for gay men, stating that he hated [[JERKS]] in general, and how (typically) a porn DVD helped to soften his view on lesbians. In effect, Chris claimed that he supports lesbians because he believes women are beautiful, and hates gay men because men are icky.

{{quote|Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial [dis]courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion...I've uh talked to others before with uh, [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], my uh s-s-Sarah, my girlfriend. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

{{quote|Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

On 28 [[March 2013]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook#Gay Marriage |Facebook message]] whining about repeat media coverage of the Supreme Court's [[:wikipedia:Hollingsworth v. Perry|Proposition 8]] and [[:wikipedia:United States v. Windsor|DOMA]] deliberations. In it, he reiterated his support for lesbians and his disapproval of "the damn homosexual males".

===Chris the lesbian===
[[File:Chris at a gay bar.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's selfie from a gay bar restroom. Disturbing, but unsurprising.]]
On 14 [[August 2014]], Chris posted on his [[Facebook]] page that he himself was now officially a "lesbian-identified man".<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]]</ref> He posted a picture of himself holding an LGBT flag. He stated that "I support the LBT fully; the G.[ay] M.[ale]s are fortunate to be on this boat." On 31 [[October 2014]], Chris spent that [[Halloween]] at a gay bar dressed as a "Groovy 70's Lesbian",<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref> further evidencing his apparent acceptance of homosexuality, in that visiting a gay bar was [[Chris and hypocrisy|THE thing Chris had specified on multiple occasions that he would never do in his life]].

However, as anyone who's even mildly aware of sexuality and gender will tell you, a lesbian male isn't actually a real thing. The idea of a "lesbian in man's body" is just something a guy might google after [[mass debating]], and Chris's citation of '''Yahoo! Answers''' to validate its existence is unpersuasive to say the least. Whether or not Chris has had a turn of heart, and realized the error of his ways when it comes to homosexuality, we'll just have to wait and see. Sexuality seems to be the most powerful governing force in Chris's self-definition, and as such it is perhaps unsurprising that it has changed so dramatically over time, given his utter failure to find his place in the world.

Chris's identification as a lesbian is closely tied to the next subject...

== Chris and transsexuality ==
{{quote|Tranny Pride, Worldwide!|Chris calling himself a derogatory term for transgenders, 14 August 2014<ref>[[Brassieres For Males#Chris comes out]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Die-cis-scum.jpg|thumb|right|Likelier than you think.]][[Image:Chris_15_Aug_2014_changed_profile_pic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris the "Male Lesbian Intersex Transgender."]]

Given that Chris lacks basic [[English]] skills, it shouldn’t be surprising that he has trouble navigating the linguistic minefield of ''transgender'', ''transsexual'', ''transvestite'', ''intersex'', ''bisexual'', ''hermaphrodite'', and his own ''tomgirl''. For someone who hates mislabelings, he sure is sloppy when it comes to these labels. On his [[OKCupid]] profile, when asked, "Would you date a transgender person," he replied, "Yes, as long as she was born female and was still female (or a tomboy)."<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref> He told [[Jackie]] that the fact that he loved wearing women’s clothing did not make him a “transvestite.”<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He told gal-pal [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah Bentley]] that the [[unclit]] made him “bisexual” when he meant intersex; he promptly flipped his shit when Rebeckah asked if he wanted to fuck dudes now.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Introducing the un-clit]]</ref> All of Chris’s claims about sexuality or gender identity need to be viewed through an autistic filter.

That said, Chris has spent many years struggling to articulate his position on transgender topics. In the early years of trolling, he confessed that he was uncomfortable with the idea of transgender people, and made it clear that he was not sexually attracted to them. “I have given thought about the transgenders and transvesites; I do not feel comfortable with them….[D]icks are dicks, and I do not care about them, except for my own,” he wrote in a [[January 2009]] chat.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He later reiterated: “I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.”<ref>[[Mailbag 26#Reusing the same excuses for everything else!]]</ref>

{{quote|I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite.|Classic Chris, 15 January 2010<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Shemales and man-tits]]</ref>}}

Yet somehow, he could not let the issue rest...when [[Wikipedia:Bailey Jay|Bailey Jay]] introduced herself to Chris in a [[Mailbag]] letter, revealing some naughty selfies, Chris’s initial reaction was completely phobic at the sight of this "hermaphrodite." Later though, after Jay let Chris know that he had hurt her feelings, he reached into his shallow well of empathy. "I can relate to how you feel. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I was born female instead, because of some of my emotional, caring, self-conscious thoughts I had in my lifetime. Then I would later remember that God must have made me all straight male for good reasons."<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!]] and [[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref> When Chris looked at this beautiful woman with a large pickle, he saw a distorted reflection of himself. He was not yet ready to abandon his “straight male” identity, though.

After becoming a [[tomgirl]] in 2011, even though he was still officially a "heterosexual" and "proud to be male," some of his words and actions betrayed a deeper gender confusion. He started using women’s restrooms. He told Jackie that he fantasized about "fit[ting] in at a lesbian bar," where he believed he would have no trouble seducing a lesbian and persuading her to bone "in lesbian's position (the scissor-thing) with my dick in her vag."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref> In December 2013 he confessed to Rebeckah, "I wish I was born female, with the possibility of being a lesbian."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life]]</ref> He still seemed unsettled, especially since being a tomgirl wasn’t working to attract a Sweetheart/Soulmate.

On 14 [[August 2014]], he came out publicly, although as what exactly wasn’t certain, given his garbled and inconsistent vocabulary. The initial announcement was that he was "a Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser." Then he said he was a "Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny." Two weeks later he was telling [[Catherine]] that he was a "Lesbian tomgirl transgender male" but also "[[Three-Quarter Woman|three-quarters woman]]." By September he seemed to have settled on "Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body)."<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]], [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Flirt the skirt!]], [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Understanding the whole tomgirl thing]], and [[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Alright, Alright, NOW It's OK to Be Gay]]</ref> In [[April 2015]], apparently no longer a "man," he changed his Facebook pronoun to "she" and his name to "Christine".<ref>[[April 2015 Facebook posts#A new pronoun]]</ref> This month also saw the beginning of a flurry of Facebook "likes" for all sorts of progressive transgender issues, such as restroom choice and gay marriage. Whatever he was, he was certainly proud of it, and wasted no time trying to persuade his new L(G)BT personal army to wage war against local manajerks.

===Does Chris Want the Operation?===
Almost immediately upon being discovered, Chris revealed that he had been giving a lot of thought to contingencies which might require him to lop off his [[duck]]. In 2007 he told [[Megan]], “if I ever stoop down to changing my path [i.e., becoming a homo], I might as well would get a gender change operation.”<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself]]</ref> He also made it clear to anyone who asked that he was literally nauseated by the sight of his own penis (and all other penises). It might seem self-evident, then, that Lesbian Transgender Chris would be eager to undergo sex reassignment surgery. However, in his intellectual discourses on transgender controversies, Chris has expressed some ambivalence. In a February 2009 chat, when asked if transwomen should "go under the knife," Chris replied:

{{quote|Um...[long pause] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh, with both sets of uh, genitals, I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.|Chris, apropos of nothing<ref>[[Mumble 6#On The Transgender Community]]</ref>}}

He similarly told a troll impersonating transgender porn actress Bailey Jay (who also hadn’t asked) that "if I should ever have a hermaphrodite for a child, I would raise that child with the mentality of a boy/man."<ref>[[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref>

For a long time, these were puzzling statements, given his hatred for [[JERKS]] and all manner of pickled cucumbers. As his own gender identity mutated, however, Chris revealed his reasoning. In early 2014, on his OKCupid Q&A, he was faced with the question, "Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?" Chris’s answer was, "Do not perform the surgery." He added,

{{quote|If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).|Chris, exemplifying the wisdom of Solomon<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref>}}

In other words, there were two obstacles in the way of Chris losing his duck. First, a sex change operation wouldn’t provide him with reproductive organs. Since, as a woman, he would not be able to give the birth to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] personally (which is his true fantasy), he must first impregnate someone, as many times as necessary until the appearance of his God-promised daughter. He can’t adopt, because Crystal must come from "blood, tears, and semenal descent."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#10 November]]</ref> He criticized fellow tranny Ahuviya (whom he incorrectly believed to be [[Jack Thaddeus]]) for trying to have the operation, claiming that he "would definitely not be considered any at all a woman--a woman whatsoever" because "he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive [sic] organs. I mean, I want to have children someday. Obviously, he don't."<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref>

In late 2014, he could not persuade a sperm bank, lesbians on a message board, or his friend [[Open Relationship E-mails|Renee]] to serve as the vessel for Crystal.<ref>[[Semen#Donation]]</ref> So for now, its purpose unfulfilled, the Ugly Growth must remain.

The second reason he can’t get the surgery is that the duck is an [[Attraction Sign]]. As much as he loves to crow about being a "Lesbian," Chris wants to be "open to all women, Straight, Bi, and Lesbian." In a [[May 2015]] Facebook Q&A, regarding the operation, he was equivocal, and wrote, "I am exploring making the best of this body for Any Woman born with a vagina." If he wants to be everything for everybody, he will need to hold onto the duck.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#All This and Eye-Contact Too!]] and [[May 2015 Facebook posts#The Mailbag Returns]]</ref>

It should also be noted that Chris doesn’t have a fucking clue how sex reassignment works. In [[June 2015]] he posted an advertisement on Facebook: “I deserve to be a full woman with a full functioning vagina. A- blood type, if anyone wants to put up the money and trade.”<ref>[[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Let's Trade Genitalia]]</ref> As with most things he wants, Chris prefers to sit on his fat lesbian ass and wait for "a Magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Depressed on Christmas]]</ref>

===In CWCville===
Before his slide into “femdom,” Chris used the intersex character [[Silvana]] to symbolize the evil trolls. The evil [[Count Graduon]] told her, “I am going to grant you with the power to transform like a Ditto. My price is that you will have to relinquish your ability to give birth, and you will be upgraded to have both parts. So with the biological upgrade complete, your years of training can begin.”<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook#Episode 18]]</ref> She proceeded to seduce and horrify the tranquil community. After Chris modified his gender identity, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robee Sonichu]] also became a tomgirl, and later a full-fledged male lesbian. In May 2015 he confirmed that [[Comic Chris]] was a “Lesbian Transwoman,” and [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as a D-cup female with “a uterus and ovaries,” possibly to be renamed Chrissy-Chan Rosechu. Then, through the power of his imagination, Chris managed to ''impregnate himself'' with a turkey baster and give birth to twins.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> This scenario is probably as realistic as Chris ever getting a handle on his own gender.

==Evidence against Chris's heterosexuality==
[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't fail at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|[[Niggos|Oh lawd, is dat sum lipstick on Chris?]]]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies ([[Recycling|and eats imaginary man asses]]).}}

[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]
[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png|thumb|Totally not gay at all.]]
[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png|thumb|''One... eyebrow.'']]

Ironically, the [[Autistic dick|harder]] Chris [[I am STRAIGHT|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the less so he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!"<ref>[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]</ref> every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Chris has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref>
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into adulthood, and began this collecting way before ''Friendship is Magic'' premiered.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Call 1|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his "friends" were female and he never slept with any of them (despite his best efforts to do so).
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN chat with Julie]], Chris revealed that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* In the chat where [[Julie Reveals Herself]], when [[Max]] told Chris to suck his duck, Chris asked, "How can I do yours if I'm all the way over here?" instead of simply saying "no", although this could simply be his autistic mind trying to cope with hyperbole. Also, later on in the same chat, Chris attempted to show Max his duck when the latter began to taunt him with claims that he had a pussy. While you might be thinking that it's just a typical knee-jerk reaction from Chris, an [[Julie_Reveals_Herself:_The_Prequel|earlier chat]] reveals a part where Chris ''offers'' to show Max his dick.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put a large dildo up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* Chris once drew [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a male character, on his duck.
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref> Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.
* According to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|receipts]] uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for anal beads as a gift with an order of pornography. Chris, however, lied, claiming that the anal beads as well as a vibrator were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. Chris kept said vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs|sex logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* His absolute revulsion to seeing other men's penises. If Chris was truly straight, he would not be uncomfortable seeing other men's penises because he would have no interest in them sexually.
* On [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009]], Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a [[gaybian]]. He later issued a retraction, which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* When Julie finally revealed herself as a [[pedofork|13 year old boy]], Chris's immediate response was "I did not know you were a 13 year old!" making it sound like he's shocked by the age but not the least bit concerned about the fact that he's a boy.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by [[Nudes|close-up pictures of his buttcheeks and anus]], not that anybody of any orientation would find it erotic.
* The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]] is pink.
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]], which are essentially hair clips, which are essentially women's fashion accessories.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* Chris wears a [[bra]]. In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" at the CWCipedia, you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he owns a copy of the first ''[[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|Sex and the City]]'' movie when he showcased his then-current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving all the characters a [[Wikipedia:Queer Eye|free makeover]].
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from the virus, implying that Chris is "infected" with homosexuality if his blood could be used to make a vaccine.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a duck.
* In the above same Trollin Train post, he mentioned achieving comeuppance before vomiting, indicating he had an erection, and thus was sexually aroused from being sodomized by a man.
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [[:File:Punchylaylalove.jpg|wearing panties and a bra]].
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks suspiciously like an erect penis.
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].
* He voluntarily dressed up as a woman, went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals and vice-versa, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public. When Bob learned of Chris's antics, his immediate response was to call him a "fag".
* On 29 April 2012, Chris 'reveals' that the gay camp experience story he made up as [[JenkinsJinkies]] was a fake. Aside from the fact that [[Naive|absolutely nobody fell for this at all]], it does leave this question: Out of all of the stories that Chris could have made up under a fake identity, why did he go with one where he gets sodomized at [[Pedofork|seven]]?
* [[It's not that cold]] shows Chris infamously saying, "Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me." Take note that Chris is dressed in a mini-skirt and hikes it up to reveal his grotesque man ass at the camera, indicating that he'd like to be taken from behind, all in an attempt to re-enact ''The Silence of the Lambs''.
* Whenever anyone calls Chris out on his [[Women's rights|objectification of women's bodies]], he is always quick to back-pedal and say he appreciates women more for their personalities, unaware that personalities are the key reason for relationships between gay men and their female friends.
* Chris created a modified version of the song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''The Boondocks'' called "Don't Trust Any Homos Over There". However, the character who sings the original song is Uncle Ruckus, a self-loathing black man. This makes Chris look like a self-loathing homosexual.
* The fact that he thinks that ''staring at a poster'' will keep himself straight implies he has homosexual thoughts and fantasies that he wants to keep in check. The irony of the fact that he thinks staring hard enough at a poster of Sailor Moon, a gay icon, will magically suppress these homoerotic urges is lost on him.
* After [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] became Chris's equal and opposite as the result of the latter's brief immersion in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], he turned openly gay. One would think that this logically means Chris is straight, except for the fact that it's made clear that the two differ only in their openness, not their homosexuality.
* Chris posted an absurd "riddle" on [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Facebook]] containing random pictures, containing Mark Cuban, lemon cake, Delaware Blue Hens and the Sphinx. It's worth noting that [http://i.imgur.com/oKAtnAo.jpg Mark Cuban] is gay, lemon cake is often dyed rainbow in [http://i.imgur.com/qy1U14g.jpggay pride festivals], Delaware is one of the only states to uphold [http://i.imgur.com/YVAnfl9.jpg gay marriage], hens often exhibit homosexuality, and there's a game called [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gay%20chicken Gay Chicken], and the sphinx is also a breed of cat. A breed of cat that's [http://i.imgur.com/uBwdEdz.jpg really gay].
* In 2012, Chris signed in the [[CWCki Forums]] as "paintingatree". The term "Painting The Tree" is [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Painting%20the%20tree act slang for oral sex], which may refer to his duck.
* Chris posted a picture on [[Facebook#I_got_new_shoes|Facebook]] showing his new shoes. Note the gay pink laces and it looks like sneakers worn for women.
* Chris posted a pointless picture on [[Facebook#One Eyebrow|Facebook]], showing his eyebrow. Note that it's '''eyebrow''' and not '''eyebrows''', as [http://www.discodamaged.com/2010/12/lesbians-to-grown-on-eyebrow.html lesbians are proposing to grow one eyebrow on Decembrow].
* Chris pierced his right ear (twice), a common, albeit dated, code for homosexuality--"Left ear buccaneer, right ear queer."
* Chris wrote a [[February_2014_Facebook_Posts#Tabitha_St._Germaine|Facebook post]] comparing Tabitha St. Germain, the voice actress of Rarity from ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'' (among many others), to gay icon Judy Garland.
* Attempting to prove that [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] is a separate identity, Chris favorited and commented on a number of gay [[pedofork]] [[anime]]s on [[YouTube]].<ref>[[:File:Recent Activity.jpg]]</ref>
* In his August 2014 Facebook posts, Chris identified himself as a 'tranny' and a 'Ho Mo' ''(for the ladies, [[Chris_and_English|according to him]])'', placed a marriage equality support symbol on his page's banner, and spoke about women being "supportive" of his choices. He's blissfully unaware (or ''outright doesn't care'') that all of this makes him look like he's come out of the closet. Not to mention, he calls himself a derogatory term for transsexuals.
* He [[October_2014_Facebook_Posts#Chris_hits_up_a_gay_bar_.28seriously.29|went to a gay bar on Halloween 2014]].
* He is a member of the local [https://www.facebook.com/groups/eventsatimpuslegsc gay club] on facebook.
* He once glitterbombed Sega. Glitterbombing was started by the gay community as a way to protest opponents of gay marriage.
* His [[26 December 2014|can of mace]] is colored pink.
* He posted a story on [[Facebook]] about him as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] having sex with [[Magi-chan]] and getting pregnant.
* The tote bag he used at [[OmegaCon]] had a marriage equality logo and the words "TOTES GAY" written in bold capitals on it.
* In his [[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas]] video, his song mentions how his true love had given him "drag kings, and the transmales that have "not" have the operation change yet".

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[Heather Iglesias]]
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
* [[Tomgirl]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

Homos

2017-02-05T12:36:35Z

RedVine01: /* “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler’s Address to the Homosexuals */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
{{Quote|I Am Straight; [[China|Vaginas]] and [[Plush breasts|Boobies]] Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.|[[Chris]].<ref>[[Mailbag 31]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|There Was a time before I realized mine being a female soul trapped in a male-born body, when I was homophobic. But I became better aware of these kind and open-hearted people, and learned how understanding and compassionate they are, and with that, losing the homophobia, I felt more at peace with myself and those around me.|Chris evolves.<ref>[[January_2017_Facebook_Posts#Open_letter_to_Barron_Trump]]</ref>}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which Chris referred to gay people--almost invariably gay males--nigh exclusively at the time of his discovery. He has also occasionally used phrases such as "those of the wrong orientation", because even saying the word "homo" or "gay" makes him uncomfortable.

From the very beginning of his [[internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|STAY STRAIGHT]]" have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects. Chris's ire for male homosexuals is confusing, since they, of all people, pose the least threat to his [[Love Quest]], and seems to be motivated entirely by his own sexual insecurities.

At various times, most recently following his coming out as a "[[Tomgirl|transgender]] [[Gaybian|lesbian]]" in [[2014]], Chris has seemingly recanted previous homophobic statements, claiming to have become fully supportive of equality and human rights. In nearly every case, this has been at the request of a gal-pal or sweetheart, and like most of his [[Chris and remorse|apologies]] has been insincere. He apparently remains repulsed and unnerved by homosexual men on a personal level.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris. <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause him to be "leered off the straight path." His terror has been such that he was barely able to bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He seems to struggle with intrusive homosexual thoughts; he has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle]] without being "freaked out."<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris revealed that he had to cover a section of his computer screen with a piece of paper so that he could browse the [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s pro-gay advertisements. Nothing will get Chris angrier than being "mislabeled" as a homo.

Chris's homophobia seems to have emerged sometime in 2006, as his very earliest expression of anxiety is his classic "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|Future Message]]," released in February 2007. At no time before this, either in his comics or his [[diary]] or his private correspondence, does he make any reference to homosexuality. It apparently grew out of the complex stew of his [[noviophobia]], his failure to achieve his Love Quest, his admiration for [[My Little Pony|girly toys]], his own [[Chris and gender|gender confusion]], his loathing of [[muscle bra|male bodies]], and [[autism]].
[[File:Taking it in the briefs.JPG|thumb|right|You're making this painfully obvious, Chris.]]

==Defenses against becoming a homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by stomping on [[vibrator]]s and showcasing index cards indicating their straightness on their shoes.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Chris uses many strange and totemic objects, from a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|poster of Sailor Moon]] to his [[Optimus Prime]] toy, to aggressively assert his straightness. Chris has said that he stared at his Sailor Moon poster every day to stave off temptations of homosexuality. The centerfold poster of [[The Simpsons#Marge poster|Marge Simpson's ''Playboy'' edition]] was another of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she is a married cartoon character does not seem to have dissuaded him. Chris also subscribes to ''Playboy'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to breasts and china.

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) fans sent Chris questions on the CWCipedia asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tended to suggest what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas included thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarified that one needs not buy a Sailor Moon poster in particular; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick. He believes these rituals are necessary to "maintain" sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris has also encouraged women to not [[Alcohol|drink]], [[Tobacky|smoke]], or be physically abused while pregnant, as this could cause the baby to be born homosexual, as if Homosexuality is like Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. <ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref> Chris is also convinced that his chances of becoming homosexual have been raised because he did not engage in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education</ref> hence his oft-stated regret that he did not get [[dating education]] classes in high school, and his recommendation that they be made available for the youth of today.

Considering the myriad of habits Chris has cultivated which are highly atypical for a straight male, it seems certain that he has been at the very least sexually confused. He is demonstrably very aggressive and insecure about it.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris is not simply afraid of becoming a homo himself--he hates all gay men. This animosity seems to result primarily from his fear of them (and all men) and their supposed ability or desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] - all of them - as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] must be gay. It also reveals a belief that all of his trolls are male, since Chris uses "homo" exclusively in reference to gay men. This notion is not only [[Vivian Gee|demonstrably false]], but in fact [[Chris and reality|completely delusional]], since many of Chris's greatest trolls have been women, and Chris knows it. This exercise in selective memory likely stems from Chris's loathing of male [[JERKS]] and inversely-proportional adoration of [[Gal-pals|women]].

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59.}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic the Hedgehog|one of his own abominations]].]]

Chris further went on to propose a bizarre form of conversion therapy in which all gay men would be imprisoned and made to sleep with both female offenders and prostitutes, thereby "reprogramming" them. Interestingly, a certain [[wikipedia:Heinrich Himmler|Herr Himmler]] had a similar idea, suggesting that "pink triangle" concentration camp prisoners be forced to sleep with (female) camp prostitutes.

{{quote|[they would be] taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts.|Chris, 2 January 2009, 12:01.}}

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his sagacious opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He advocated the lifting of the ban, but only so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

The universe of [[CWCville]] has also seen an anti-gay jihad. On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality is found, the people involved are [[Chris and the Law|arrested and fined heavily]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris's comic self travels into the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (An idea stolen from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Gay|Family Gay]]"). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Wikipedia:Sonderbehandlung|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]]). Chris then brought back to the present enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight. Ironically, a vaccination traditionally consists of introducing a small amount of the disease to a body to stimulate the immune system - so Chris unwittingly implied that his blood contains the dreaded homo virus.

A classic case of Chris's homophobia surfaced in the struggle over advertisements on his CWCipedia. Jack Thaddeus purchased ad space on the CWCipedia to put up 2 ads. One featured Peter Griffin of ''Family Guy'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights; and the other promoted Mexican tourism with a cartoon [[pickle]]. Chris unsurprisingly went berserk, stating:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''|Chris.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In protest, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site calling for a boycott of Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. To sum it up, in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that would ''not'' win him any gay friends whatsoever.

As with his fear of becoming a homo, the origins of Chris's deep homophobia are not clear. Certainly [[Bob]] had an influence, as the [[Matthew Noble call]] showed that he had the same kind of deranged hatred and prejudice as his son. On 7 January 2010, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight:

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

If this is true, Chris made no reference to it at the time, restricting his hatred solely to the heterosexual male [[JERKS]]. It is certainly ironic considering his more recent views on lesbianism. It also adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by his being childish and whiny about not getting his way with ''one'' woman who turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

Chris knows that his homophobia is unpopular with his fans, and he has often tried to persuade the public that he respects homosexuals for "who they are". However, he usually betrays his sincere intolerance of different lifestyles soon afterward - often within the same statement. On [[CWC Update 18 February 2009|18 February 2009]], for example, Chris issued one of his retractions of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" just as he respects his gal pals and his [[List of Chris's sweethearts|sweethearts]]. However, this was done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|a mere month later]] Chris was [[Chris and religion|reciting verses from the Bible]] to once again preach against the vile homos.

On 14 [[June 2009]], Chris posted a "[[music]]" [[video]] called "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]", which, in his tradition of ruining everything you ever loved, is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s satirical song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''. Later on that same day, he published an [[I'm Sorry, Dude|apology]] for the video and insisted that he likes gays who "ac...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Chris was of course unaware of the various other career accomplishments of Stephen Fry. It seems that this apology was only posted in the first place for the sake of his gal-pal [[Kim]]'s boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

On 12 January 2010, Chris again appeared to soften his stance, saying that "I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within CWCville." However, in the same breath Chris clarified, "gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> The reason why gay marriage isn't an "equal relationship right" is not readily apparent.

More recently, not long after coming out as a "male lesbian," Chris felt deeply uncomfortable with being perceived as "gay" or "homo," and in Facebook statements attempted to exclude gay men from his crusade for gender equality. No doubt under the influence of his new sweetheart [[Catherine]] and other gal-pals, Chris retracted these clumsy statements, apologizing for the umpteenth time.

{{quote|I am accepting of the gays as people, just like most any individual person. Seriously, you all be proud of who you are. All I ask is not to find any reason to feel anger towards anyone of any orientation, race or whatever, based on their individual actions or offense as an individual person of self. Also, please disregard all of my past and Way past thoughts of turning gays straight; that was very wrong of me. I am very sorry about that, and continue to be true and proud of yourselves for who you are, as I am Very Proud of myself for being a Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body).|Chris, surprisingly redeemable.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

He also announced his support for the Human Rights Campaign, going so far as to say that homophobics "are none other than the Cyber-Bullies and Internet Trolls who put hate on the innocent around the world; Young and Old. Some of which even put pressure on to force you into being something you know fully that you are Not!" Interestingly, his prior notion that all trolls are homosexuals had been completely reversed to the idea that they're all homo''phobes'', illustrating that Chris still believes that any detractor of his is part of an organized movement and [[Chris and his Ego|has personal flaws]].

However, if the past is any judge, the end of his relationship with Catherine has no doubt caused his homophobia to resurface. He confirmed in late 2014 that despite the fact that comic Chris shares his new gender identity, [[Reldnahc]], his opposite, is still an evil violent homo.<ref>Commissions</ref>

On 26 [[June 2015]], the Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of gay marriage. Chris, shockingly enough, reacted very positively towards this:

{{Quotebox|Congratulations to us all for Nationwide Marriage Equality! If a holiday be made of June 26, 2015, how about ‪#‎PridependenceDay‬!

Now, I still require my Sweetheart to be my future wife. As a ‪#‎Lesbian‬ ‪#‎Transwoman‬, I do feel I am compatible with Any woman.

And No, I am not mistaken. I have been genuinely feeling and [[List of Chris's lies|identifying like a woman for about my whole lifetime]]. I never could appreciate the [[JERK|male's]] Neanderthal interests. And I felt more appreciative and comprehending of [[Women's Rights|fashions, makeup, shopping]], [[Chris and remorse|empathy]], identifying feelings and [[Death threats|looking to resolve problems]] [[Sub-episodes|reasonably]].

Plus, I have a great deal of [[Chris and Anger|self control]], and I can bring good and pleasant [[semen|tidings]] to an all woman party.

‪#‎LoveWins‬ ‪#‎OneFamily‬ ‪#‎LGBTQ‬ ‪#‎Pridependence‬ ‪#‎Pride‬}}

In [[October 2015]], Chris released a [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|video]] in which he apologizes for his past homophobic statements and iterates that he is now supportive of male homosexuals, while still drilling the point home that Sonichu and Rosechu are straight. He almost simultaneously [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Sonichu 10]] and replaced the fictional gay epidemic with a bizarre [[Nombie-zazis|Nazi zombie]] premise, which still has homophobic implications given the context of the comic.

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'm STRAIGHT! I'm STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE the homos!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''[[Lie|I. Am. STRAIGHT!]]'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

===“Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler’s Address to the Homosexuals===
On 6 August 2009, at a time when the trolls were getting the most mileage out of baiting Chris regarding his sexual orientation, Chris posted a wide-ranging, [[Chris and anger|hate-fuelled]] rant on the [[CWCipedia]] which he hoped would clear up all misconceptions. His "Address to the Homosexuals," subtitled "I AM STRAIGHT!!! NOT HOMO; NOT BI; STRAIGHT!!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS!" is a classic statement on the issue. Unfortunately it had no noticeable effect on the trolling. The essay in full:

{{quotebox|
Good day, I write this essay with sound mind to address the major issues that has been bugging me constantly for the past few yeas, The Pressure and '''Stress''' FROM the Homosexual Population.

First off, as I have said OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND '''OVER Infinite Number Of Times''', ''I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, AM STRAIGHT.'' '''[[Tomgirl Saga|No Question or]] [[Gaybian|Shadow of a Doubt, EVER.]]'''

I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; '''NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW.''' Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head. Every time of such pictures’ appearance, ''I feel Queasy and want to Throw Up.'' I humbly apologize for being offensive, but that is how I feel.

As a human being, I have no hard feelings conversing and associating with the homosexuals at any time. Individually, they each have a right to their own opinions, perceptions and peaceful lives. I fully understand and respect that.

''The only thing that really Grinds My Gears Harshly is being '''Wrongfully Labeled as a Homosexual when I am straight.'''''

I am aware of the way I [[Speech impediment|stutter]], space my words and all that from the way I talk, but I assure you, that I sometimes have trouble fully comprehending situations and status at first; it sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, ''I am Sometimes Retarded.''

And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because '''the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY'''; kept down with the ''Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend''. I am not a man who likes confrontations with the guy who has spoken for the woman I’m eying over. And during my High School Years, '''I WAS NAÏVE on the subject of DATING''' (''Bring in Dating Education Classes, and Run them Alongside or Before Sexual Education, and make Dating Education Equally Mandatory)''. [[Honor roll|It had not dawned on me that I NEEDED TO BE DATING until AFTER I had turned Twenty-One-Years Old]], during my Third Year attending Piedmont Virginia Community College.

And my '''Sonichu and Rosechu Comic Pages'''; again, I understand each individual person has their own perception of things, BUT Contrary to the individual perceptions among some people, '''The Comics, Drawings, and ALL Words ALL HAD NO MEANING OF ANYTHING Homosexual Whatsoever!''' I Personally in Real Life AND in the Comic Pages and all that '''PROMOTE BEING STRAIGHT''', No Question or Shadow of a Doubt.

All Those of You have Heavily Wrongfully Misunderstood Parts of All the Comic Pages and all that of such.

'''I, All my Sonichus, Rosechus, and citizens of Cwcville, Virginia, Do Not Appreciate At All Being Wrongfully Labled as homosexuals. IT REALLY INFURIATES ME, Sonichu, Rosechu and EVERYBODY ELSE.'''

I have also heard of My Sonichu being ''written in College Essays that promote homosexuality.'' And even worse, ''promoting him in the Gay Pride Parades.'' '''WRONG LABELS; STOP WRITING OR PROMOTING ME OR MY CHARACTERS AS SUCH!''' ''[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsihc|ALL Sonichus Are Straight!]] [[Silvana Rosechu|ALL Rosechus Are Straight!]] I Am Straight! My Comics are STRAIGHT COMICS.'' I, Sonichu and Rosechu, '''We Never Want to be part of ANY AND ALL Homosexual-Promoting Papers or Events, because with EVERY ITEM that is created from NOT OF MY OWN HANDS that EVEN Inklings such Wrongful Labelings upon, ME, Sonichu, Rosechu, and ALL MY STRAIGHT CHARACTERS, WE ARE ALL BEING DISREPECTED!'''

We will Never Take the Misunderstandings, Mislabelings And All The Like Sitting Down.

I, Personally, would RATHER have a PAINFUL Gender-Change Operation than EVER Turn Homosexual.

'''So, to reiterate, I, and 96 % of ALL CHARACTERS, are ALL STRAIGHT!''' ''NEVER EVER CALL me, my comics, or any of MY STRAIGHT Characters GAY!''

<nowiki>*</nowiki>sigh*

And to conclude, while I personally do not care about the homosexual lifestyle that swift, and I personally respect each individual homosexual person as individual human beings, '''The MAIN thing that really Infuriates Me is being called gay. DO NOT EVER Call Me Gay, or EVER Question My Sexual Orientation.
'''

''[[Lie|I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, Am Straight]]. Period.
''

Thank you.}}

==Views on lesbianism==

Whereas Chris's discomfort with homosexual males has been fairly consistent, his views on lesbianism have wildly vacillated. In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, "[[The High School Story]]", his Mary Sue character Terrah LeAnne Yowman is ridiculed and accused of being a lesbian by kids at her high school because she hangs around with male friends. As the work serves as a backstory to the villainous [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], Terrah's bullying may have served as a fictional inverse parallel to the endless accusations of homosexuality lodged by Chris' detractors, illustrating Chris' worldview of implied homosexuality as an insult.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[Creepy stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight [[Christian Weston Chandler|Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 25 July 2009, Chris produced a [[CWC "Boyfriend"|rambling and nonsensical video]] to the tune of Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend". In the middle of the video, Chris sings about the importance of "being straight" and intersperses a "STAY STRAIGHT" caption on a photo of a lesbian couple split in two.

{{quote|
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me!
Hey, you! Hey, you!
You need to be straight, girl!
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend! }}

Later, Chris would gradually revise his former hard-line attitude against lesbians. In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Cwcipedia: Sonichu]</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> Chris may have shoehorned a lesbian character into ''Sonichu'' to appear more tolerant, but his attempt comes off as half-hearted in light of his continual derision of gay men and insistence that Heather hide her sexuality.

In [[Mumble 1]], which took place on the last day of 2009, Chris declared his support for lesbians and reiterated his simultaneous hatred for gay men, stating that he hated [[JERKS]] in general, and how (typically) a porn DVD helped to soften his view on lesbians. In effect, Chris claimed that he supports lesbians because he believes women are beautiful, and hates gay men because men are icky.

{{quote|Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial [dis]courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion...I've uh talked to others before with uh, [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], my uh s-s-Sarah, my girlfriend. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

{{quote|Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

On 28 [[March 2013]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook#Gay Marriage |Facebook message]] whining about repeat media coverage of the Supreme Court's [[:wikipedia:Hollingsworth v. Perry|Proposition 8]] and [[:wikipedia:United States v. Windsor|DOMA]] deliberations. In it, he reiterated his support for lesbians and his disapproval of "the damn homosexual males".

===Chris the lesbian===
[[File:Chris at a gay bar.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's selfie from a gay bar restroom. Disturbing, but unsurprising.]]
On 14 [[August 2014]], Chris posted on his [[Facebook]] page that he himself was now officially a "lesbian-identified man".<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]]</ref> He posted a picture of himself holding an LGBT flag. He stated that "I support the LBT fully; the G.[ay] M.[ale]s are fortunate to be on this boat." On 31 [[October 2014]], Chris spent that [[Halloween]] at a gay bar dressed as a "Groovy 70's Lesbian",<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref> further evidencing his apparent acceptance of homosexuality, in that visiting a gay bar was [[Chris and hypocrisy|THE thing Chris had specified on multiple occasions that he would never do in his life]].

However, as anyone who's even mildly aware of sexuality and gender will tell you, a lesbian male isn't actually a real thing. The idea of a "lesbian in man's body" is just something a guy might google after [[mass debating]], and Chris's citation of '''Yahoo! Answers''' to validate its existence is unpersuasive to say the least. Whether or not Chris has had a turn of heart, and realized the error of his ways when it comes to homosexuality, we'll just have to wait and see. Sexuality seems to be the most powerful governing force in Chris's self-definition, and as such it is perhaps unsurprising that it has changed so dramatically over time, given his utter failure to find his place in the world.

Chris's identification as a lesbian is closely tied to the next subject...

== Chris and transsexuality ==
{{quote|Tranny Pride, Worldwide!|Chris calling himself a derogatory term for transgenders, 14 August 2014<ref>[[Brassieres For Males#Chris comes out]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Die-cis-scum.jpg|thumb|right|Likelier than you think.]][[Image:Chris_15_Aug_2014_changed_profile_pic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris the "Male Lesbian Intersex Transgender."]]

Given that Chris lacks basic [[English]] skills, it shouldn’t be surprising that he has trouble navigating the linguistic minefield of ''transgender'', ''transsexual'', ''transvestite'', ''intersex'', ''bisexual'', ''hermaphrodite'', and his own ''tomgirl''. For someone who hates mislabelings, he sure is sloppy when it comes to these labels. On his [[OKCupid]] profile, when asked, "Would you date a transgender person," he replied, "Yes, as long as she was born female and was still female (or a tomboy)."<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref> He told [[Jackie]] that the fact that he loved wearing women’s clothing did not make him a “transvestite.”<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He told gal-pal [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah Bentley]] that the [[unclit]] made him “bisexual” when he meant intersex; he promptly flipped his shit when Rebeckah asked if he wanted to fuck dudes now.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Introducing the un-clit]]</ref> All of Chris’s claims about sexuality or gender identity need to be viewed through an autistic filter.

That said, Chris has spent many years struggling to articulate his position on transgender topics. In the early years of trolling, he confessed that he was uncomfortable with the idea of transgender people, and made it clear that he was not sexually attracted to them. “I have given thought about the transgenders and transvesites; I do not feel comfortable with them….[D]icks are dicks, and I do not care about them, except for my own,” he wrote in a [[January 2009]] chat.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He later reiterated: “I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.”<ref>[[Mailbag 26#Reusing the same excuses for everything else!]]</ref>

{{quote|I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite.|Classic Chris, 15 January 2010<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Shemales and man-tits]]</ref>}}

Yet somehow, he could not let the issue rest...when [[Wikipedia:Bailey Jay|Bailey Jay]] introduced herself to Chris in a [[Mailbag]] letter, revealing some naughty selfies, Chris’s initial reaction was completely phobic at the sight of this "hermaphrodite." Later though, after Jay let Chris know that he had hurt her feelings, he reached into his shallow well of empathy. "I can relate to how you feel. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I was born female instead, because of some of my emotional, caring, self-conscious thoughts I had in my lifetime. Then I would later remember that God must have made me all straight male for good reasons."<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!]] and [[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref> When Chris looked at this beautiful woman with a large pickle, he saw a distorted reflection of himself. He was not yet ready to abandon his “straight male” identity, though.

After becoming a [[tomgirl]] in 2011, even though he was still officially a "heterosexual" and "proud to be male," some of his words and actions betrayed a deeper gender confusion. He started using women’s restrooms. He told Jackie that he fantasized about "fit[ting] in at a lesbian bar," where he believed he would have no trouble seducing a lesbian and persuading her to bone "in lesbian's position (the scissor-thing) with my dick in her vag."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref> In December 2013 he confessed to Rebeckah, "I wish I was born female, with the possibility of being a lesbian."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life]]</ref> He still seemed unsettled, especially since being a tomgirl wasn’t working to attract a Sweetheart/Soulmate.

On 14 [[August 2014]], he came out publicly, although as what exactly wasn’t certain, given his garbled and inconsistent vocabulary. The initial announcement was that he was "a Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser." Then he said he was a "Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny." Two weeks later he was telling [[Catherine]] that he was a "Lesbian tomgirl transgender male" but also "[[Three-Quarter Woman|three-quarters woman]]." By September he seemed to have settled on "Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body)."<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]], [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Flirt the skirt!]], [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Understanding the whole tomgirl thing]], and [[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Alright, Alright, NOW It's OK to Be Gay]]</ref> In [[April 2015]], apparently no longer a "man," he changed his Facebook pronoun to "she" and his name to "Christine".<ref>[[April 2015 Facebook posts#A new pronoun]]</ref> This month also saw the beginning of a flurry of Facebook "likes" for all sorts of progressive transgender issues, such as restroom choice and gay marriage. Whatever he was, he was certainly proud of it, and wasted no time trying to persuade his new L(G)BT personal army to wage war against local manajerks.

===Does Chris Want the Operation?===
Almost immediately upon being discovered, Chris revealed that he had been giving a lot of thought to contingencies which might require him to lop off his [[duck]]. In 2007 he told [[Megan]], “if I ever stoop down to changing my path [i.e., becoming a homo], I might as well would get a gender change operation.”<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself]]</ref> He also made it clear to anyone who asked that he was literally nauseated by the sight of his own penis (and all other penises). It might seem self-evident, then, that Lesbian Transgender Chris would be eager to undergo sex reassignment surgery. However, in his intellectual discourses on transgender controversies, Chris has expressed some ambivalence. In a February 2009 chat, when asked if transwomen should "go under the knife," Chris replied:

{{quote|Um...[long pause] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh, with both sets of uh, genitals, I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.|Chris, apropos of nothing<ref>[[Mumble 6#On The Transgender Community]]</ref>}}

He similarly told a troll impersonating transgender porn actress Bailey Jay (who also hadn’t asked) that "if I should ever have a hermaphrodite for a child, I would raise that child with the mentality of a boy/man."<ref>[[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref>

For a long time, these were puzzling statements, given his hatred for [[JERKS]] and all manner of pickled cucumbers. As his own gender identity mutated, however, Chris revealed his reasoning. In early 2014, on his OKCupid Q&A, he was faced with the question, "Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?" Chris’s answer was, "Do not perform the surgery." He added,

{{quote|If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).|Chris, exemplifying the wisdom of Solomon<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref>}}

In other words, there were two obstacles in the way of Chris losing his duck. First, a sex change operation wouldn’t provide him with reproductive organs. Since, as a woman, he would not be able to give the birth to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] personally (which is his true fantasy), he must first impregnate someone, as many times as necessary until the appearance of his God-promised daughter. He can’t adopt, because Crystal must come from "blood, tears, and semenal descent."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#10 November]]</ref> He criticized fellow tranny Ahuviya (whom he incorrectly believed to be [[Jack Thaddeus]]) for trying to have the operation, claiming that he "would definitely not be considered any at all a woman--a woman whatsoever" because "he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive [sic] organs. I mean, I want to have children someday. Obviously, he don't."<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref>

In late 2014, he could not persuade a sperm bank, lesbians on a message board, or his friend [[Open Relationship E-mails|Renee]] to serve as the vessel for Crystal.<ref>[[Semen#Donation]]</ref> So for now, its purpose unfulfilled, the Ugly Growth must remain.

The second reason he can’t get the surgery is that the duck is an [[Attraction Sign]]. As much as he loves to crow about being a "Lesbian," Chris wants to be "open to all women, Straight, Bi, and Lesbian." In a [[May 2015]] Facebook Q&A, regarding the operation, he was equivocal, and wrote, "I am exploring making the best of this body for Any Woman born with a vagina." If he wants to be everything for everybody, he will need to hold onto the duck.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#All This and Eye-Contact Too!]] and [[May 2015 Facebook posts#The Mailbag Returns]]</ref>

It should also be noted that Chris doesn’t have a fucking clue how sex reassignment works. In [[June 2015]] he posted an advertisement on Facebook: “I deserve to be a full woman with a full functioning vagina. A- blood type, if anyone wants to put up the money and trade.”<ref>[[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Let's Trade Genitalia]]</ref> As with most things he wants, Chris prefers to sit on his fat lesbian ass and wait for "a Magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Depressed on Christmas]]</ref>

===In CWCville===
Before his slide into “femdom,” Chris used the intersex character [[Silvana]] to symbolize the evil trolls. The evil [[Count Graduon]] told her, “I am going to grant you with the power to transform like a Ditto. My price is that you will have to relinquish your ability to give birth, and you will be upgraded to have both parts. So with the biological upgrade complete, your years of training can begin.”<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook#Episode 18]]</ref> She proceeded to seduce and horrify the tranquil community. After Chris modified his gender identity, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robee Sonichu]] also became a tomgirl, and later a full-fledged male lesbian. In May 2015 he confirmed that [[Comic Chris]] was a “Lesbian Transwoman,” and [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as a D-cup female with “a uterus and ovaries,” possibly to be renamed Chrissy-Chan Rosechu. Then, through the power of his imagination, Chris managed to ''impregnate himself'' with a turkey baster and give birth to twins.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> This scenario is probably as realistic as Chris ever getting a handle on his own gender.

==Evidence against Chris's heterosexuality==
[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't fail at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|[[Niggos|Oh lawd, is dat sum lipstick on Chris?]]]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies ([[Recycling|and eats imaginary man asses]]).}}

[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]
[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png|thumb|Totally not gay at all.]]
[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png|thumb|''One... eyebrow.'']]

Ironically, the [[Autistic dick|harder]] Chris [[I am STRAIGHT|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the less so he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!"<ref>[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]</ref> every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Chris has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref>
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into adulthood, and began this collecting way before ''Friendship is Magic'' premiered.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Call 1|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his "friends" were female and he never slept with any of them (despite his best efforts to do so).
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN chat with Julie]], Chris revealed that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* In the chat where [[Julie Reveals Herself]], when [[Max]] told Chris to suck his duck, Chris asked, "How can I do yours if I'm all the way over here?" instead of simply saying "no", although this could simply be his autistic mind trying to cope with hyperbole. Also, later on in the same chat, Chris attempted to show Max his duck when the latter began to taunt him with claims that he had a pussy. While you might be thinking that it's just a typical knee-jerk reaction from Chris, an [[Julie_Reveals_Herself:_The_Prequel|earlier chat]] reveals a part where Chris ''offers'' to show Max his dick.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put a large dildo up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* Chris once drew [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a male character, on his duck.
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref> Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.
* According to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|receipts]] uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for anal beads as a gift with an order of pornography. Chris, however, lied, claiming that the anal beads as well as a vibrator were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. Chris kept said vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs|sex logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* His absolute revulsion to seeing other men's penises. If Chris was truly straight, he would not be uncomfortable seeing other men's penises because he would have no interest in them sexually.
* On [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009]], Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a [[gaybian]]. He later issued a retraction, which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* When Julie finally revealed herself as a [[pedofork|13 year old boy]], Chris's immediate response was "I did not know you were a 13 year old!" making it sound like he's shocked by the age but not the least bit concerned about the fact that he's a boy.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by [[Nudes|close-up pictures of his buttcheeks and anus]], not that anybody of any orientation would find it erotic.
* The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]] is pink.
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]], which are essentially hair clips, which are essentially women's fashion accessories.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* Chris wears a [[bra]]. In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" at the CWCipedia, you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he owns a copy of the first ''[[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|Sex and the City]]'' movie when he showcased his then-current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving all the characters a [[Wikipedia:Queer Eye|free makeover]].
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from the virus, implying that Chris is "infected" with homosexuality if his blood could be used to make a vaccine.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a duck.
* In the above same Trollin Train post, he mentioned achieving comeuppance before vomiting, indicating he had an erection, and thus was sexually aroused from being sodomized by a man.
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [[:File:Punchylaylalove.jpg|wearing panties and a bra]].
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks suspiciously like an erect penis.
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].
* He voluntarily dressed up as a woman, went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals and vice-versa, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public. When Bob learned of Chris's antics, his immediate response was to call him a "fag".
* On 29 April 2012, Chris 'reveals' that the gay camp experience story he made up as [[JenkinsJinkies]] was a fake. Aside from the fact that [[Naive|absolutely nobody fell for this at all]], it does leave this question: Out of all of the stories that Chris could have made up under a fake identity, why did he go with one where he gets sodomized at [[Pedofork|seven]]?
* [[It's not that cold]] shows Chris infamously saying, "Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me." Take note that Chris is dressed in a mini-skirt and hikes it up to reveal his grotesque man ass at the camera, indicating that he'd like to be taken from behind, all in an attempt to re-enact ''The Silence of the Lambs''.
* Whenever anyone calls Chris out on his [[Women's rights|objectification of women's bodies]], he is always quick to back-pedal and say he appreciates women more for their personalities, unaware that personalities are the key reason for relationships between gay men and their female friends.
* Chris created a modified version of the song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''The Boondocks'' called "Don't Trust Any Homos Over There". However, the character who sings the original song is Uncle Ruckus, a self-loathing black man. This makes Chris look like a self-loathing homosexual.
* The fact that he thinks that ''staring at a poster'' will keep himself straight implies he has homosexual thoughts and fantasies that he wants to keep in check. The irony of the fact that he thinks staring hard enough at a poster of Sailor Moon, a gay icon, will magically suppress these homoerotic urges is lost on him.
* After [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] became Chris's equal and opposite as the result of the latter's brief immersion in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], he turned openly gay. One would think that this logically means Chris is straight, except for the fact that it's made clear that the two differ only in their openness, not their homosexuality.
* Chris posted an absurd "riddle" on [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Facebook]] containing random pictures, containing Mark Cuban, lemon cake, Delaware Blue Hens and the Sphinx. It's worth noting that [http://i.imgur.com/oKAtnAo.jpg Mark Cuban] is gay, lemon cake is often dyed rainbow in [http://i.imgur.com/qy1U14g.jpggay pride festivals], Delaware is one of the only states to uphold [http://i.imgur.com/YVAnfl9.jpg gay marriage], hens often exhibit homosexuality, and there's a game called [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gay%20chicken Gay Chicken], and the sphinx is also a breed of cat. A breed of cat that's [http://i.imgur.com/uBwdEdz.jpg really gay].
* In 2012, Chris signed in the [[CWCki Forums]] as "paintingatree". The term "Painting The Tree" is [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Painting%20the%20tree act slang for oral sex], which may refer to his duck.
* Chris posted a picture on [[Facebook#I_got_new_shoes|Facebook]] showing his new shoes. Note the gay pink laces and it looks like sneakers worn for women.
* Chris posted a pointless picture on [[Facebook#One Eyebrow|Facebook]], showing his eyebrow. Note that it's '''eyebrow''' and not '''eyebrows''', as [http://www.discodamaged.com/2010/12/lesbians-to-grown-on-eyebrow.html lesbians are proposing to grow one eyebrow on Decembrow].
* Chris pierced his right ear (twice), a common, albeit dated, code for homosexuality--"Left ear buccaneer, right ear queer."
* Chris wrote a [[February_2014_Facebook_Posts#Tabitha_St._Germaine|Facebook post]] comparing Tabitha St. Germain, the voice actress of Rarity from ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'' (among many others), to gay icon Judy Garland.
* Attempting to prove that [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] is a separate identity, Chris favorited and commented on a number of gay [[pedofork]] [[anime]]s on [[YouTube]].<ref>[[:File:Recent Activity.jpg]]</ref>
* In his August 2014 Facebook posts, Chris identified himself as a 'tranny' and a 'Ho Mo' ''(for the ladies, [[Chris_and_English|according to him]])'', placed a marriage equality support symbol on his page's banner, and spoke about women being "supportive" of his choices. He's blissfully unaware (or ''outright doesn't care'') that all of this makes him look like he's come out of the closet. Not to mention, he calls himself a derogatory term for transsexuals.
* He [[October_2014_Facebook_Posts#Chris_hits_up_a_gay_bar_.28seriously.29|went to a gay bar on Halloween 2014]].
* He is a member of the local [https://www.facebook.com/groups/eventsatimpuslegsc gay club] on facebook.
* He once glitterbombed Sega. Glitterbombing was started by the gay community as a way to protest opponents of gay marriage.
* His [[26 December 2014|can of mace]] is colored pink.
* He posted a story on [[Facebook]] about him as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] having sex with [[Magi-chan]] and getting pregnant.
* The tote bag he used at [[OmegaCon]] had a marriage equality logo and the words "TOTES GAY" written in bold capitals on it.
* In his [[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas]] video, his song mentions how his true love had given him "drag kings, and the transmales that have "not" have the operation change yet".

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[Heather Iglesias]]
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
* [[Tomgirl]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

Homos

2017-02-05T12:33:18Z

RedVine01: /* Chris on his alleged homosexuality */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
{{Quote|I Am Straight; [[China|Vaginas]] and [[Plush breasts|Boobies]] Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.|[[Chris]].<ref>[[Mailbag 31]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|There Was a time before I realized mine being a female soul trapped in a male-born body, when I was homophobic. But I became better aware of these kind and open-hearted people, and learned how understanding and compassionate they are, and with that, losing the homophobia, I felt more at peace with myself and those around me.|Chris evolves.<ref>[[January_2017_Facebook_Posts#Open_letter_to_Barron_Trump]]</ref>}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which Chris referred to gay people--almost invariably gay males--nigh exclusively at the time of his discovery. He has also occasionally used phrases such as "those of the wrong orientation", because even saying the word "homo" or "gay" makes him uncomfortable.

From the very beginning of his [[internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|STAY STRAIGHT]]" have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects. Chris's ire for male homosexuals is confusing, since they, of all people, pose the least threat to his [[Love Quest]], and seems to be motivated entirely by his own sexual insecurities.

At various times, most recently following his coming out as a "[[Tomgirl|transgender]] [[Gaybian|lesbian]]" in [[2014]], Chris has seemingly recanted previous homophobic statements, claiming to have become fully supportive of equality and human rights. In nearly every case, this has been at the request of a gal-pal or sweetheart, and like most of his [[Chris and remorse|apologies]] has been insincere. He apparently remains repulsed and unnerved by homosexual men on a personal level.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris. <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause him to be "leered off the straight path." His terror has been such that he was barely able to bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He seems to struggle with intrusive homosexual thoughts; he has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle]] without being "freaked out."<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris revealed that he had to cover a section of his computer screen with a piece of paper so that he could browse the [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s pro-gay advertisements. Nothing will get Chris angrier than being "mislabeled" as a homo.

Chris's homophobia seems to have emerged sometime in 2006, as his very earliest expression of anxiety is his classic "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|Future Message]]," released in February 2007. At no time before this, either in his comics or his [[diary]] or his private correspondence, does he make any reference to homosexuality. It apparently grew out of the complex stew of his [[noviophobia]], his failure to achieve his Love Quest, his admiration for [[My Little Pony|girly toys]], his own [[Chris and gender|gender confusion]], his loathing of [[muscle bra|male bodies]], and [[autism]].
[[File:Taking it in the briefs.JPG|thumb|right|You're making this painfully obvious, Chris.]]

==Defenses against becoming a homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by stomping on [[vibrator]]s and showcasing index cards indicating their straightness on their shoes.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Chris uses many strange and totemic objects, from a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|poster of Sailor Moon]] to his [[Optimus Prime]] toy, to aggressively assert his straightness. Chris has said that he stared at his Sailor Moon poster every day to stave off temptations of homosexuality. The centerfold poster of [[The Simpsons#Marge poster|Marge Simpson's ''Playboy'' edition]] was another of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she is a married cartoon character does not seem to have dissuaded him. Chris also subscribes to ''Playboy'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to breasts and china.

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) fans sent Chris questions on the CWCipedia asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tended to suggest what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas included thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarified that one needs not buy a Sailor Moon poster in particular; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick. He believes these rituals are necessary to "maintain" sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris has also encouraged women to not [[Alcohol|drink]], [[Tobacky|smoke]], or be physically abused while pregnant, as this could cause the baby to be born homosexual, as if Homosexuality is like Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. <ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref> Chris is also convinced that his chances of becoming homosexual have been raised because he did not engage in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education</ref> hence his oft-stated regret that he did not get [[dating education]] classes in high school, and his recommendation that they be made available for the youth of today.

Considering the myriad of habits Chris has cultivated which are highly atypical for a straight male, it seems certain that he has been at the very least sexually confused. He is demonstrably very aggressive and insecure about it.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris is not simply afraid of becoming a homo himself--he hates all gay men. This animosity seems to result primarily from his fear of them (and all men) and their supposed ability or desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] - all of them - as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] must be gay. It also reveals a belief that all of his trolls are male, since Chris uses "homo" exclusively in reference to gay men. This notion is not only [[Vivian Gee|demonstrably false]], but in fact [[Chris and reality|completely delusional]], since many of Chris's greatest trolls have been women, and Chris knows it. This exercise in selective memory likely stems from Chris's loathing of male [[JERKS]] and inversely-proportional adoration of [[Gal-pals|women]].

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59.}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic the Hedgehog|one of his own abominations]].]]

Chris further went on to propose a bizarre form of conversion therapy in which all gay men would be imprisoned and made to sleep with both female offenders and prostitutes, thereby "reprogramming" them. Interestingly, a certain [[wikipedia:Heinrich Himmler|Herr Himmler]] had a similar idea, suggesting that "pink triangle" concentration camp prisoners be forced to sleep with (female) camp prostitutes.

{{quote|[they would be] taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts.|Chris, 2 January 2009, 12:01.}}

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his sagacious opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He advocated the lifting of the ban, but only so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

The universe of [[CWCville]] has also seen an anti-gay jihad. On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality is found, the people involved are [[Chris and the Law|arrested and fined heavily]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris's comic self travels into the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (An idea stolen from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Gay|Family Gay]]"). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Wikipedia:Sonderbehandlung|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]]). Chris then brought back to the present enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight. Ironically, a vaccination traditionally consists of introducing a small amount of the disease to a body to stimulate the immune system - so Chris unwittingly implied that his blood contains the dreaded homo virus.

A classic case of Chris's homophobia surfaced in the struggle over advertisements on his CWCipedia. Jack Thaddeus purchased ad space on the CWCipedia to put up 2 ads. One featured Peter Griffin of ''Family Guy'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights; and the other promoted Mexican tourism with a cartoon [[pickle]]. Chris unsurprisingly went berserk, stating:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''|Chris.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In protest, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site calling for a boycott of Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. To sum it up, in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that would ''not'' win him any gay friends whatsoever.

As with his fear of becoming a homo, the origins of Chris's deep homophobia are not clear. Certainly [[Bob]] had an influence, as the [[Matthew Noble call]] showed that he had the same kind of deranged hatred and prejudice as his son. On 7 January 2010, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight:

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

If this is true, Chris made no reference to it at the time, restricting his hatred solely to the heterosexual male [[JERKS]]. It is certainly ironic considering his more recent views on lesbianism. It also adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by his being childish and whiny about not getting his way with ''one'' woman who turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

Chris knows that his homophobia is unpopular with his fans, and he has often tried to persuade the public that he respects homosexuals for "who they are". However, he usually betrays his sincere intolerance of different lifestyles soon afterward - often within the same statement. On [[CWC Update 18 February 2009|18 February 2009]], for example, Chris issued one of his retractions of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" just as he respects his gal pals and his [[List of Chris's sweethearts|sweethearts]]. However, this was done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|a mere month later]] Chris was [[Chris and religion|reciting verses from the Bible]] to once again preach against the vile homos.

On 14 [[June 2009]], Chris posted a "[[music]]" [[video]] called "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]", which, in his tradition of ruining everything you ever loved, is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s satirical song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''. Later on that same day, he published an [[I'm Sorry, Dude|apology]] for the video and insisted that he likes gays who "ac...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Chris was of course unaware of the various other career accomplishments of Stephen Fry. It seems that this apology was only posted in the first place for the sake of his gal-pal [[Kim]]'s boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

On 12 January 2010, Chris again appeared to soften his stance, saying that "I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within CWCville." However, in the same breath Chris clarified, "gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> The reason why gay marriage isn't an "equal relationship right" is not readily apparent.

More recently, not long after coming out as a "male lesbian," Chris felt deeply uncomfortable with being perceived as "gay" or "homo," and in Facebook statements attempted to exclude gay men from his crusade for gender equality. No doubt under the influence of his new sweetheart [[Catherine]] and other gal-pals, Chris retracted these clumsy statements, apologizing for the umpteenth time.

{{quote|I am accepting of the gays as people, just like most any individual person. Seriously, you all be proud of who you are. All I ask is not to find any reason to feel anger towards anyone of any orientation, race or whatever, based on their individual actions or offense as an individual person of self. Also, please disregard all of my past and Way past thoughts of turning gays straight; that was very wrong of me. I am very sorry about that, and continue to be true and proud of yourselves for who you are, as I am Very Proud of myself for being a Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body).|Chris, surprisingly redeemable.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

He also announced his support for the Human Rights Campaign, going so far as to say that homophobics "are none other than the Cyber-Bullies and Internet Trolls who put hate on the innocent around the world; Young and Old. Some of which even put pressure on to force you into being something you know fully that you are Not!" Interestingly, his prior notion that all trolls are homosexuals had been completely reversed to the idea that they're all homo''phobes'', illustrating that Chris still believes that any detractor of his is part of an organized movement and [[Chris and his Ego|has personal flaws]].

However, if the past is any judge, the end of his relationship with Catherine has no doubt caused his homophobia to resurface. He confirmed in late 2014 that despite the fact that comic Chris shares his new gender identity, [[Reldnahc]], his opposite, is still an evil violent homo.<ref>Commissions</ref>

On 26 [[June 2015]], the Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of gay marriage. Chris, shockingly enough, reacted very positively towards this:

{{Quotebox|Congratulations to us all for Nationwide Marriage Equality! If a holiday be made of June 26, 2015, how about ‪#‎PridependenceDay‬!

Now, I still require my Sweetheart to be my future wife. As a ‪#‎Lesbian‬ ‪#‎Transwoman‬, I do feel I am compatible with Any woman.

And No, I am not mistaken. I have been genuinely feeling and [[List of Chris's lies|identifying like a woman for about my whole lifetime]]. I never could appreciate the [[JERK|male's]] Neanderthal interests. And I felt more appreciative and comprehending of [[Women's Rights|fashions, makeup, shopping]], [[Chris and remorse|empathy]], identifying feelings and [[Death threats|looking to resolve problems]] [[Sub-episodes|reasonably]].

Plus, I have a great deal of [[Chris and Anger|self control]], and I can bring good and pleasant [[semen|tidings]] to an all woman party.

‪#‎LoveWins‬ ‪#‎OneFamily‬ ‪#‎LGBTQ‬ ‪#‎Pridependence‬ ‪#‎Pride‬}}

In [[October 2015]], Chris released a [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|video]] in which he apologizes for his past homophobic statements and iterates that he is now supportive of male homosexuals, while still drilling the point home that Sonichu and Rosechu are straight. He almost simultaneously [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Sonichu 10]] and replaced the fictional gay epidemic with a bizarre [[Nombie-zazis|Nazi zombie]] premise, which still has homophobic implications given the context of the comic.

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'm STRAIGHT! I'm STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE the homos!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''[[Lie|I. Am. STRAIGHT!]]'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

===“Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler’s Address to the Homosexuals===
On 6 August 2009, at a time when the trolls were getting the most mileage out of baiting Chris regarding his sexual orientation, Chris posted a wide-ranging, [[Chris and anger|hate-fuelled]] rant on the [[CWCipedia]] which he hoped would clear up all misconceptions. His "Address to the Homosexuals," subtitled "I AM STRAIGHT!!! NOT HOMO; NOT BI; STRAIGHT!!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS!" is a classic statement on the issue. Unfortunately it had no noticeable effect on the trolling. The essay in full:

{{quotebox|
Good day, I write this essay with sound mind to address the major issues that has been bugging me constantly for the past few yeas, The Pressure and '''Stress''' FROM the Homosexual Population.

First off, as I have said OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND '''OVER Infinite Number Of Times''', ''I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, AM STRAIGHT.'' '''[[Tomgirl Saga|No Question or]] [[Gaybian|Shadow of a Doubt, EVER.]]'''

I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; '''NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW.''' Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head. Every time of such pictures’ appearance, ''I feel Queasy and want to Throw Up.'' I humbly apologize for being offensive, but that is how I feel.

As a human being, I have no hard feelings conversing and associating with the homosexuals at any time. Individually, they each have a right to their own opinions, perceptions and peaceful lives. I fully understand and respect that.

''The only thing that really Grinds My Gears Harshly is being '''Wrongfully Labeled as a Homosexual when I am straight.'''''

I am aware of the way I [[Speech impediment|stutter]], space my words and all that from the way I talk, but I assure you, that I sometimes have trouble fully comprehending situations and status at first; it sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, ''I am Sometimes Retarded.''

And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because '''the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY'''; kept down with the ''Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend''. I am not a man who likes confrontations with the guy who has spoken for the woman I’m eying over. And during my High School Years, '''I WAS NAÏVE on the subject of DATING''' (''Bring in Dating Education Classes, and Run them Alongside or Before Sexual Education, and make Dating Education Equally Mandatory)''. [[Honor roll|It had not dawned on me that I NEEDED TO BE DATING until AFTER I had turned Twenty-One-Years Old]], during my Third Year attending Piedmont Virginia Community College.

And my '''Sonichu and Rosechu Comic Pages'''; again, I understand each individual person has their own perception of things, BUT Contrary to the individual perceptions among some people, '''The Comics, Drawings, and ALL Words ALL HAD NO MEANING OF ANYTHING Homosexual Whatsoever!''' I Personally in Real Life AND in the Comic Pages and all that '''PROMOTE BEING STRAIGHT''', No Question or Shadow of a Doubt.

All Those of You have Heavily Wrongfully Misunderstood Parts of All the Comic Pages and all that of such.

'''I, All my Sonichus, Rosechus, and citizens of Cwcville, Virginia, Do Not Appreciate At All Being Wrongfully Labled as homosexuals. IT REALLY INFURIATES ME, Sonichu, Rosechu and EVERYBODY ELSE.'''

I have also heard of My Sonichu being ''written in College Essays that promote homosexuality.'' And even worse, ''promoting him in the Gay Pride Parades.'' '''WRONG LABELS; STOP WRITING OR PROMOTING ME OR MY CHARACTERS AS SUCH!''' ''[[Reldnac Ha-Taque|ALL Sonichus Are Straight!]] [[Silvana Rosechu|ALL Rosechus Are Straight!]] I Am Straight! My Comics are STRAIGHT COMICS.'' I, Sonichu and Rosechu, '''We Never Want to be part of ANY AND ALL Homosexual-Promoting Papers or Events, because with EVERY ITEM that is created from NOT OF MY OWN HANDS that EVEN Inklings such Wrongful Labelings upon, ME, Sonichu, Rosechu, and ALL MY STRAIGHT CHARACTERS, WE ARE ALL BEING DISREPECTED!'''

We will Never Take the Misunderstandings, Mislabelings And All The Like Sitting Down.

I, Personally, would RATHER have a PAINFUL Gender-Change Operation than EVER Turn Homosexual.

'''So, to reiterate, I, and 96 % of ALL CHARACTERS, are ALL STRAIGHT!''' ''NEVER EVER CALL me, my comics, or any of MY STRAIGHT Characters GAY!''

<nowiki>*</nowiki>sigh*

And to conclude, while I personally do not care about the homosexual lifestyle that swift, and I personally respect each individual homosexual person as individual human beings, '''The MAIN thing that really Infuriates Me is being called gay. DO NOT EVER Call Me Gay, or EVER Question My Sexual Orientation.
'''

''[[Lie|I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, Am Straight]]. Period.
''

Thank you.}}

==Views on lesbianism==

Whereas Chris's discomfort with homosexual males has been fairly consistent, his views on lesbianism have wildly vacillated. In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, "[[The High School Story]]", his Mary Sue character Terrah LeAnne Yowman is ridiculed and accused of being a lesbian by kids at her high school because she hangs around with male friends. As the work serves as a backstory to the villainous [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], Terrah's bullying may have served as a fictional inverse parallel to the endless accusations of homosexuality lodged by Chris' detractors, illustrating Chris' worldview of implied homosexuality as an insult.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[Creepy stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight [[Christian Weston Chandler|Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 25 July 2009, Chris produced a [[CWC "Boyfriend"|rambling and nonsensical video]] to the tune of Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend". In the middle of the video, Chris sings about the importance of "being straight" and intersperses a "STAY STRAIGHT" caption on a photo of a lesbian couple split in two.

{{quote|
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me!
Hey, you! Hey, you!
You need to be straight, girl!
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend! }}

Later, Chris would gradually revise his former hard-line attitude against lesbians. In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Cwcipedia: Sonichu]</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> Chris may have shoehorned a lesbian character into ''Sonichu'' to appear more tolerant, but his attempt comes off as half-hearted in light of his continual derision of gay men and insistence that Heather hide her sexuality.

In [[Mumble 1]], which took place on the last day of 2009, Chris declared his support for lesbians and reiterated his simultaneous hatred for gay men, stating that he hated [[JERKS]] in general, and how (typically) a porn DVD helped to soften his view on lesbians. In effect, Chris claimed that he supports lesbians because he believes women are beautiful, and hates gay men because men are icky.

{{quote|Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial [dis]courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion...I've uh talked to others before with uh, [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], my uh s-s-Sarah, my girlfriend. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

{{quote|Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

On 28 [[March 2013]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook#Gay Marriage |Facebook message]] whining about repeat media coverage of the Supreme Court's [[:wikipedia:Hollingsworth v. Perry|Proposition 8]] and [[:wikipedia:United States v. Windsor|DOMA]] deliberations. In it, he reiterated his support for lesbians and his disapproval of "the damn homosexual males".

===Chris the lesbian===
[[File:Chris at a gay bar.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's selfie from a gay bar restroom. Disturbing, but unsurprising.]]
On 14 [[August 2014]], Chris posted on his [[Facebook]] page that he himself was now officially a "lesbian-identified man".<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]]</ref> He posted a picture of himself holding an LGBT flag. He stated that "I support the LBT fully; the G.[ay] M.[ale]s are fortunate to be on this boat." On 31 [[October 2014]], Chris spent that [[Halloween]] at a gay bar dressed as a "Groovy 70's Lesbian",<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref> further evidencing his apparent acceptance of homosexuality, in that visiting a gay bar was [[Chris and hypocrisy|THE thing Chris had specified on multiple occasions that he would never do in his life]].

However, as anyone who's even mildly aware of sexuality and gender will tell you, a lesbian male isn't actually a real thing. The idea of a "lesbian in man's body" is just something a guy might google after [[mass debating]], and Chris's citation of '''Yahoo! Answers''' to validate its existence is unpersuasive to say the least. Whether or not Chris has had a turn of heart, and realized the error of his ways when it comes to homosexuality, we'll just have to wait and see. Sexuality seems to be the most powerful governing force in Chris's self-definition, and as such it is perhaps unsurprising that it has changed so dramatically over time, given his utter failure to find his place in the world.

Chris's identification as a lesbian is closely tied to the next subject...

== Chris and transsexuality ==
{{quote|Tranny Pride, Worldwide!|Chris calling himself a derogatory term for transgenders, 14 August 2014<ref>[[Brassieres For Males#Chris comes out]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Die-cis-scum.jpg|thumb|right|Likelier than you think.]][[Image:Chris_15_Aug_2014_changed_profile_pic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris the "Male Lesbian Intersex Transgender."]]

Given that Chris lacks basic [[English]] skills, it shouldn’t be surprising that he has trouble navigating the linguistic minefield of ''transgender'', ''transsexual'', ''transvestite'', ''intersex'', ''bisexual'', ''hermaphrodite'', and his own ''tomgirl''. For someone who hates mislabelings, he sure is sloppy when it comes to these labels. On his [[OKCupid]] profile, when asked, "Would you date a transgender person," he replied, "Yes, as long as she was born female and was still female (or a tomboy)."<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref> He told [[Jackie]] that the fact that he loved wearing women’s clothing did not make him a “transvestite.”<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He told gal-pal [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah Bentley]] that the [[unclit]] made him “bisexual” when he meant intersex; he promptly flipped his shit when Rebeckah asked if he wanted to fuck dudes now.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Introducing the un-clit]]</ref> All of Chris’s claims about sexuality or gender identity need to be viewed through an autistic filter.

That said, Chris has spent many years struggling to articulate his position on transgender topics. In the early years of trolling, he confessed that he was uncomfortable with the idea of transgender people, and made it clear that he was not sexually attracted to them. “I have given thought about the transgenders and transvesites; I do not feel comfortable with them….[D]icks are dicks, and I do not care about them, except for my own,” he wrote in a [[January 2009]] chat.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He later reiterated: “I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.”<ref>[[Mailbag 26#Reusing the same excuses for everything else!]]</ref>

{{quote|I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite.|Classic Chris, 15 January 2010<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Shemales and man-tits]]</ref>}}

Yet somehow, he could not let the issue rest...when [[Wikipedia:Bailey Jay|Bailey Jay]] introduced herself to Chris in a [[Mailbag]] letter, revealing some naughty selfies, Chris’s initial reaction was completely phobic at the sight of this "hermaphrodite." Later though, after Jay let Chris know that he had hurt her feelings, he reached into his shallow well of empathy. "I can relate to how you feel. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I was born female instead, because of some of my emotional, caring, self-conscious thoughts I had in my lifetime. Then I would later remember that God must have made me all straight male for good reasons."<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!]] and [[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref> When Chris looked at this beautiful woman with a large pickle, he saw a distorted reflection of himself. He was not yet ready to abandon his “straight male” identity, though.

After becoming a [[tomgirl]] in 2011, even though he was still officially a "heterosexual" and "proud to be male," some of his words and actions betrayed a deeper gender confusion. He started using women’s restrooms. He told Jackie that he fantasized about "fit[ting] in at a lesbian bar," where he believed he would have no trouble seducing a lesbian and persuading her to bone "in lesbian's position (the scissor-thing) with my dick in her vag."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref> In December 2013 he confessed to Rebeckah, "I wish I was born female, with the possibility of being a lesbian."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life]]</ref> He still seemed unsettled, especially since being a tomgirl wasn’t working to attract a Sweetheart/Soulmate.

On 14 [[August 2014]], he came out publicly, although as what exactly wasn’t certain, given his garbled and inconsistent vocabulary. The initial announcement was that he was "a Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser." Then he said he was a "Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny." Two weeks later he was telling [[Catherine]] that he was a "Lesbian tomgirl transgender male" but also "[[Three-Quarter Woman|three-quarters woman]]." By September he seemed to have settled on "Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body)."<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]], [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Flirt the skirt!]], [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Understanding the whole tomgirl thing]], and [[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Alright, Alright, NOW It's OK to Be Gay]]</ref> In [[April 2015]], apparently no longer a "man," he changed his Facebook pronoun to "she" and his name to "Christine".<ref>[[April 2015 Facebook posts#A new pronoun]]</ref> This month also saw the beginning of a flurry of Facebook "likes" for all sorts of progressive transgender issues, such as restroom choice and gay marriage. Whatever he was, he was certainly proud of it, and wasted no time trying to persuade his new L(G)BT personal army to wage war against local manajerks.

===Does Chris Want the Operation?===
Almost immediately upon being discovered, Chris revealed that he had been giving a lot of thought to contingencies which might require him to lop off his [[duck]]. In 2007 he told [[Megan]], “if I ever stoop down to changing my path [i.e., becoming a homo], I might as well would get a gender change operation.”<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself]]</ref> He also made it clear to anyone who asked that he was literally nauseated by the sight of his own penis (and all other penises). It might seem self-evident, then, that Lesbian Transgender Chris would be eager to undergo sex reassignment surgery. However, in his intellectual discourses on transgender controversies, Chris has expressed some ambivalence. In a February 2009 chat, when asked if transwomen should "go under the knife," Chris replied:

{{quote|Um...[long pause] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh, with both sets of uh, genitals, I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.|Chris, apropos of nothing<ref>[[Mumble 6#On The Transgender Community]]</ref>}}

He similarly told a troll impersonating transgender porn actress Bailey Jay (who also hadn’t asked) that "if I should ever have a hermaphrodite for a child, I would raise that child with the mentality of a boy/man."<ref>[[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref>

For a long time, these were puzzling statements, given his hatred for [[JERKS]] and all manner of pickled cucumbers. As his own gender identity mutated, however, Chris revealed his reasoning. In early 2014, on his OKCupid Q&A, he was faced with the question, "Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?" Chris’s answer was, "Do not perform the surgery." He added,

{{quote|If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).|Chris, exemplifying the wisdom of Solomon<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref>}}

In other words, there were two obstacles in the way of Chris losing his duck. First, a sex change operation wouldn’t provide him with reproductive organs. Since, as a woman, he would not be able to give the birth to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] personally (which is his true fantasy), he must first impregnate someone, as many times as necessary until the appearance of his God-promised daughter. He can’t adopt, because Crystal must come from "blood, tears, and semenal descent."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#10 November]]</ref> He criticized fellow tranny Ahuviya (whom he incorrectly believed to be [[Jack Thaddeus]]) for trying to have the operation, claiming that he "would definitely not be considered any at all a woman--a woman whatsoever" because "he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive [sic] organs. I mean, I want to have children someday. Obviously, he don't."<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref>

In late 2014, he could not persuade a sperm bank, lesbians on a message board, or his friend [[Open Relationship E-mails|Renee]] to serve as the vessel for Crystal.<ref>[[Semen#Donation]]</ref> So for now, its purpose unfulfilled, the Ugly Growth must remain.

The second reason he can’t get the surgery is that the duck is an [[Attraction Sign]]. As much as he loves to crow about being a "Lesbian," Chris wants to be "open to all women, Straight, Bi, and Lesbian." In a [[May 2015]] Facebook Q&A, regarding the operation, he was equivocal, and wrote, "I am exploring making the best of this body for Any Woman born with a vagina." If he wants to be everything for everybody, he will need to hold onto the duck.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#All This and Eye-Contact Too!]] and [[May 2015 Facebook posts#The Mailbag Returns]]</ref>

It should also be noted that Chris doesn’t have a fucking clue how sex reassignment works. In [[June 2015]] he posted an advertisement on Facebook: “I deserve to be a full woman with a full functioning vagina. A- blood type, if anyone wants to put up the money and trade.”<ref>[[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Let's Trade Genitalia]]</ref> As with most things he wants, Chris prefers to sit on his fat lesbian ass and wait for "a Magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Depressed on Christmas]]</ref>

===In CWCville===
Before his slide into “femdom,” Chris used the intersex character [[Silvana]] to symbolize the evil trolls. The evil [[Count Graduon]] told her, “I am going to grant you with the power to transform like a Ditto. My price is that you will have to relinquish your ability to give birth, and you will be upgraded to have both parts. So with the biological upgrade complete, your years of training can begin.”<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook#Episode 18]]</ref> She proceeded to seduce and horrify the tranquil community. After Chris modified his gender identity, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robee Sonichu]] also became a tomgirl, and later a full-fledged male lesbian. In May 2015 he confirmed that [[Comic Chris]] was a “Lesbian Transwoman,” and [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as a D-cup female with “a uterus and ovaries,” possibly to be renamed Chrissy-Chan Rosechu. Then, through the power of his imagination, Chris managed to ''impregnate himself'' with a turkey baster and give birth to twins.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> This scenario is probably as realistic as Chris ever getting a handle on his own gender.

==Evidence against Chris's heterosexuality==
[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't fail at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|[[Niggos|Oh lawd, is dat sum lipstick on Chris?]]]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies ([[Recycling|and eats imaginary man asses]]).}}

[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]
[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png|thumb|Totally not gay at all.]]
[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png|thumb|''One... eyebrow.'']]

Ironically, the [[Autistic dick|harder]] Chris [[I am STRAIGHT|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the less so he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!"<ref>[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]</ref> every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Chris has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref>
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into adulthood, and began this collecting way before ''Friendship is Magic'' premiered.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Call 1|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his "friends" were female and he never slept with any of them (despite his best efforts to do so).
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN chat with Julie]], Chris revealed that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* In the chat where [[Julie Reveals Herself]], when [[Max]] told Chris to suck his duck, Chris asked, "How can I do yours if I'm all the way over here?" instead of simply saying "no", although this could simply be his autistic mind trying to cope with hyperbole. Also, later on in the same chat, Chris attempted to show Max his duck when the latter began to taunt him with claims that he had a pussy. While you might be thinking that it's just a typical knee-jerk reaction from Chris, an [[Julie_Reveals_Herself:_The_Prequel|earlier chat]] reveals a part where Chris ''offers'' to show Max his dick.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put a large dildo up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* Chris once drew [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a male character, on his duck.
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref> Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.
* According to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|receipts]] uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for anal beads as a gift with an order of pornography. Chris, however, lied, claiming that the anal beads as well as a vibrator were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. Chris kept said vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs|sex logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* His absolute revulsion to seeing other men's penises. If Chris was truly straight, he would not be uncomfortable seeing other men's penises because he would have no interest in them sexually.
* On [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009]], Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a [[gaybian]]. He later issued a retraction, which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* When Julie finally revealed herself as a [[pedofork|13 year old boy]], Chris's immediate response was "I did not know you were a 13 year old!" making it sound like he's shocked by the age but not the least bit concerned about the fact that he's a boy.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by [[Nudes|close-up pictures of his buttcheeks and anus]], not that anybody of any orientation would find it erotic.
* The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]] is pink.
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]], which are essentially hair clips, which are essentially women's fashion accessories.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* Chris wears a [[bra]]. In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" at the CWCipedia, you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he owns a copy of the first ''[[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|Sex and the City]]'' movie when he showcased his then-current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving all the characters a [[Wikipedia:Queer Eye|free makeover]].
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from the virus, implying that Chris is "infected" with homosexuality if his blood could be used to make a vaccine.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a duck.
* In the above same Trollin Train post, he mentioned achieving comeuppance before vomiting, indicating he had an erection, and thus was sexually aroused from being sodomized by a man.
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [[:File:Punchylaylalove.jpg|wearing panties and a bra]].
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks suspiciously like an erect penis.
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].
* He voluntarily dressed up as a woman, went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals and vice-versa, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public. When Bob learned of Chris's antics, his immediate response was to call him a "fag".
* On 29 April 2012, Chris 'reveals' that the gay camp experience story he made up as [[JenkinsJinkies]] was a fake. Aside from the fact that [[Naive|absolutely nobody fell for this at all]], it does leave this question: Out of all of the stories that Chris could have made up under a fake identity, why did he go with one where he gets sodomized at [[Pedofork|seven]]?
* [[It's not that cold]] shows Chris infamously saying, "Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me." Take note that Chris is dressed in a mini-skirt and hikes it up to reveal his grotesque man ass at the camera, indicating that he'd like to be taken from behind, all in an attempt to re-enact ''The Silence of the Lambs''.
* Whenever anyone calls Chris out on his [[Women's rights|objectification of women's bodies]], he is always quick to back-pedal and say he appreciates women more for their personalities, unaware that personalities are the key reason for relationships between gay men and their female friends.
* Chris created a modified version of the song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''The Boondocks'' called "Don't Trust Any Homos Over There". However, the character who sings the original song is Uncle Ruckus, a self-loathing black man. This makes Chris look like a self-loathing homosexual.
* The fact that he thinks that ''staring at a poster'' will keep himself straight implies he has homosexual thoughts and fantasies that he wants to keep in check. The irony of the fact that he thinks staring hard enough at a poster of Sailor Moon, a gay icon, will magically suppress these homoerotic urges is lost on him.
* After [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] became Chris's equal and opposite as the result of the latter's brief immersion in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], he turned openly gay. One would think that this logically means Chris is straight, except for the fact that it's made clear that the two differ only in their openness, not their homosexuality.
* Chris posted an absurd "riddle" on [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Facebook]] containing random pictures, containing Mark Cuban, lemon cake, Delaware Blue Hens and the Sphinx. It's worth noting that [http://i.imgur.com/oKAtnAo.jpg Mark Cuban] is gay, lemon cake is often dyed rainbow in [http://i.imgur.com/qy1U14g.jpggay pride festivals], Delaware is one of the only states to uphold [http://i.imgur.com/YVAnfl9.jpg gay marriage], hens often exhibit homosexuality, and there's a game called [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gay%20chicken Gay Chicken], and the sphinx is also a breed of cat. A breed of cat that's [http://i.imgur.com/uBwdEdz.jpg really gay].
* In 2012, Chris signed in the [[CWCki Forums]] as "paintingatree". The term "Painting The Tree" is [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Painting%20the%20tree act slang for oral sex], which may refer to his duck.
* Chris posted a picture on [[Facebook#I_got_new_shoes|Facebook]] showing his new shoes. Note the gay pink laces and it looks like sneakers worn for women.
* Chris posted a pointless picture on [[Facebook#One Eyebrow|Facebook]], showing his eyebrow. Note that it's '''eyebrow''' and not '''eyebrows''', as [http://www.discodamaged.com/2010/12/lesbians-to-grown-on-eyebrow.html lesbians are proposing to grow one eyebrow on Decembrow].
* Chris pierced his right ear (twice), a common, albeit dated, code for homosexuality--"Left ear buccaneer, right ear queer."
* Chris wrote a [[February_2014_Facebook_Posts#Tabitha_St._Germaine|Facebook post]] comparing Tabitha St. Germain, the voice actress of Rarity from ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'' (among many others), to gay icon Judy Garland.
* Attempting to prove that [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] is a separate identity, Chris favorited and commented on a number of gay [[pedofork]] [[anime]]s on [[YouTube]].<ref>[[:File:Recent Activity.jpg]]</ref>
* In his August 2014 Facebook posts, Chris identified himself as a 'tranny' and a 'Ho Mo' ''(for the ladies, [[Chris_and_English|according to him]])'', placed a marriage equality support symbol on his page's banner, and spoke about women being "supportive" of his choices. He's blissfully unaware (or ''outright doesn't care'') that all of this makes him look like he's come out of the closet. Not to mention, he calls himself a derogatory term for transsexuals.
* He [[October_2014_Facebook_Posts#Chris_hits_up_a_gay_bar_.28seriously.29|went to a gay bar on Halloween 2014]].
* He is a member of the local [https://www.facebook.com/groups/eventsatimpuslegsc gay club] on facebook.
* He once glitterbombed Sega. Glitterbombing was started by the gay community as a way to protest opponents of gay marriage.
* His [[26 December 2014|can of mace]] is colored pink.
* He posted a story on [[Facebook]] about him as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] having sex with [[Magi-chan]] and getting pregnant.
* The tote bag he used at [[OmegaCon]] had a marriage equality logo and the words "TOTES GAY" written in bold capitals on it.
* In his [[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas]] video, his song mentions how his true love had given him "drag kings, and the transmales that have "not" have the operation change yet".

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[Heather Iglesias]]
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
* [[Tomgirl]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

Homos

2017-02-05T12:30:39Z

RedVine01: /* “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler’s Address to the Homosexuals */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
{{Quote|I Am Straight; [[China|Vaginas]] and [[Plush breasts|Boobies]] Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.|[[Chris]].<ref>[[Mailbag 31]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|There Was a time before I realized mine being a female soul trapped in a male-born body, when I was homophobic. But I became better aware of these kind and open-hearted people, and learned how understanding and compassionate they are, and with that, losing the homophobia, I felt more at peace with myself and those around me.|Chris evolves.<ref>[[January_2017_Facebook_Posts#Open_letter_to_Barron_Trump]]</ref>}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which Chris referred to gay people--almost invariably gay males--nigh exclusively at the time of his discovery. He has also occasionally used phrases such as "those of the wrong orientation", because even saying the word "homo" or "gay" makes him uncomfortable.

From the very beginning of his [[internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|STAY STRAIGHT]]" have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects. Chris's ire for male homosexuals is confusing, since they, of all people, pose the least threat to his [[Love Quest]], and seems to be motivated entirely by his own sexual insecurities.

At various times, most recently following his coming out as a "[[Tomgirl|transgender]] [[Gaybian|lesbian]]" in [[2014]], Chris has seemingly recanted previous homophobic statements, claiming to have become fully supportive of equality and human rights. In nearly every case, this has been at the request of a gal-pal or sweetheart, and like most of his [[Chris and remorse|apologies]] has been insincere. He apparently remains repulsed and unnerved by homosexual men on a personal level.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris. <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause him to be "leered off the straight path." His terror has been such that he was barely able to bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He seems to struggle with intrusive homosexual thoughts; he has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle]] without being "freaked out."<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris revealed that he had to cover a section of his computer screen with a piece of paper so that he could browse the [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s pro-gay advertisements. Nothing will get Chris angrier than being "mislabeled" as a homo.

Chris's homophobia seems to have emerged sometime in 2006, as his very earliest expression of anxiety is his classic "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|Future Message]]," released in February 2007. At no time before this, either in his comics or his [[diary]] or his private correspondence, does he make any reference to homosexuality. It apparently grew out of the complex stew of his [[noviophobia]], his failure to achieve his Love Quest, his admiration for [[My Little Pony|girly toys]], his own [[Chris and gender|gender confusion]], his loathing of [[muscle bra|male bodies]], and [[autism]].
[[File:Taking it in the briefs.JPG|thumb|right|You're making this painfully obvious, Chris.]]

==Defenses against becoming a homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by stomping on [[vibrator]]s and showcasing index cards indicating their straightness on their shoes.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Chris uses many strange and totemic objects, from a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|poster of Sailor Moon]] to his [[Optimus Prime]] toy, to aggressively assert his straightness. Chris has said that he stared at his Sailor Moon poster every day to stave off temptations of homosexuality. The centerfold poster of [[The Simpsons#Marge poster|Marge Simpson's ''Playboy'' edition]] was another of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she is a married cartoon character does not seem to have dissuaded him. Chris also subscribes to ''Playboy'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to breasts and china.

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) fans sent Chris questions on the CWCipedia asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tended to suggest what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas included thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarified that one needs not buy a Sailor Moon poster in particular; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick. He believes these rituals are necessary to "maintain" sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris has also encouraged women to not [[Alcohol|drink]], [[Tobacky|smoke]], or be physically abused while pregnant, as this could cause the baby to be born homosexual, as if Homosexuality is like Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. <ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref> Chris is also convinced that his chances of becoming homosexual have been raised because he did not engage in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education</ref> hence his oft-stated regret that he did not get [[dating education]] classes in high school, and his recommendation that they be made available for the youth of today.

Considering the myriad of habits Chris has cultivated which are highly atypical for a straight male, it seems certain that he has been at the very least sexually confused. He is demonstrably very aggressive and insecure about it.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris is not simply afraid of becoming a homo himself--he hates all gay men. This animosity seems to result primarily from his fear of them (and all men) and their supposed ability or desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] - all of them - as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] must be gay. It also reveals a belief that all of his trolls are male, since Chris uses "homo" exclusively in reference to gay men. This notion is not only [[Vivian Gee|demonstrably false]], but in fact [[Chris and reality|completely delusional]], since many of Chris's greatest trolls have been women, and Chris knows it. This exercise in selective memory likely stems from Chris's loathing of male [[JERKS]] and inversely-proportional adoration of [[Gal-pals|women]].

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59.}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic the Hedgehog|one of his own abominations]].]]

Chris further went on to propose a bizarre form of conversion therapy in which all gay men would be imprisoned and made to sleep with both female offenders and prostitutes, thereby "reprogramming" them. Interestingly, a certain [[wikipedia:Heinrich Himmler|Herr Himmler]] had a similar idea, suggesting that "pink triangle" concentration camp prisoners be forced to sleep with (female) camp prostitutes.

{{quote|[they would be] taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts.|Chris, 2 January 2009, 12:01.}}

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his sagacious opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He advocated the lifting of the ban, but only so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

The universe of [[CWCville]] has also seen an anti-gay jihad. On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality is found, the people involved are [[Chris and the Law|arrested and fined heavily]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris's comic self travels into the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (An idea stolen from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Gay|Family Gay]]"). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Wikipedia:Sonderbehandlung|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]]). Chris then brought back to the present enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight. Ironically, a vaccination traditionally consists of introducing a small amount of the disease to a body to stimulate the immune system - so Chris unwittingly implied that his blood contains the dreaded homo virus.

A classic case of Chris's homophobia surfaced in the struggle over advertisements on his CWCipedia. Jack Thaddeus purchased ad space on the CWCipedia to put up 2 ads. One featured Peter Griffin of ''Family Guy'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights; and the other promoted Mexican tourism with a cartoon [[pickle]]. Chris unsurprisingly went berserk, stating:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''|Chris.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In protest, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site calling for a boycott of Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. To sum it up, in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that would ''not'' win him any gay friends whatsoever.

As with his fear of becoming a homo, the origins of Chris's deep homophobia are not clear. Certainly [[Bob]] had an influence, as the [[Matthew Noble call]] showed that he had the same kind of deranged hatred and prejudice as his son. On 7 January 2010, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight:

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

If this is true, Chris made no reference to it at the time, restricting his hatred solely to the heterosexual male [[JERKS]]. It is certainly ironic considering his more recent views on lesbianism. It also adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by his being childish and whiny about not getting his way with ''one'' woman who turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

Chris knows that his homophobia is unpopular with his fans, and he has often tried to persuade the public that he respects homosexuals for "who they are". However, he usually betrays his sincere intolerance of different lifestyles soon afterward - often within the same statement. On [[CWC Update 18 February 2009|18 February 2009]], for example, Chris issued one of his retractions of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" just as he respects his gal pals and his [[List of Chris's sweethearts|sweethearts]]. However, this was done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|a mere month later]] Chris was [[Chris and religion|reciting verses from the Bible]] to once again preach against the vile homos.

On 14 [[June 2009]], Chris posted a "[[music]]" [[video]] called "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]", which, in his tradition of ruining everything you ever loved, is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s satirical song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''. Later on that same day, he published an [[I'm Sorry, Dude|apology]] for the video and insisted that he likes gays who "ac...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Chris was of course unaware of the various other career accomplishments of Stephen Fry. It seems that this apology was only posted in the first place for the sake of his gal-pal [[Kim]]'s boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

On 12 January 2010, Chris again appeared to soften his stance, saying that "I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within CWCville." However, in the same breath Chris clarified, "gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> The reason why gay marriage isn't an "equal relationship right" is not readily apparent.

More recently, not long after coming out as a "male lesbian," Chris felt deeply uncomfortable with being perceived as "gay" or "homo," and in Facebook statements attempted to exclude gay men from his crusade for gender equality. No doubt under the influence of his new sweetheart [[Catherine]] and other gal-pals, Chris retracted these clumsy statements, apologizing for the umpteenth time.

{{quote|I am accepting of the gays as people, just like most any individual person. Seriously, you all be proud of who you are. All I ask is not to find any reason to feel anger towards anyone of any orientation, race or whatever, based on their individual actions or offense as an individual person of self. Also, please disregard all of my past and Way past thoughts of turning gays straight; that was very wrong of me. I am very sorry about that, and continue to be true and proud of yourselves for who you are, as I am Very Proud of myself for being a Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body).|Chris, surprisingly redeemable.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

He also announced his support for the Human Rights Campaign, going so far as to say that homophobics "are none other than the Cyber-Bullies and Internet Trolls who put hate on the innocent around the world; Young and Old. Some of which even put pressure on to force you into being something you know fully that you are Not!" Interestingly, his prior notion that all trolls are homosexuals had been completely reversed to the idea that they're all homo''phobes'', illustrating that Chris still believes that any detractor of his is part of an organized movement and [[Chris and his Ego|has personal flaws]].

However, if the past is any judge, the end of his relationship with Catherine has no doubt caused his homophobia to resurface. He confirmed in late 2014 that despite the fact that comic Chris shares his new gender identity, [[Reldnahc]], his opposite, is still an evil violent homo.<ref>Commissions</ref>

On 26 [[June 2015]], the Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of gay marriage. Chris, shockingly enough, reacted very positively towards this:

{{Quotebox|Congratulations to us all for Nationwide Marriage Equality! If a holiday be made of June 26, 2015, how about ‪#‎PridependenceDay‬!

Now, I still require my Sweetheart to be my future wife. As a ‪#‎Lesbian‬ ‪#‎Transwoman‬, I do feel I am compatible with Any woman.

And No, I am not mistaken. I have been genuinely feeling and [[List of Chris's lies|identifying like a woman for about my whole lifetime]]. I never could appreciate the [[JERK|male's]] Neanderthal interests. And I felt more appreciative and comprehending of [[Women's Rights|fashions, makeup, shopping]], [[Chris and remorse|empathy]], identifying feelings and [[Death threats|looking to resolve problems]] [[Sub-episodes|reasonably]].

Plus, I have a great deal of [[Chris and Anger|self control]], and I can bring good and pleasant [[semen|tidings]] to an all woman party.

‪#‎LoveWins‬ ‪#‎OneFamily‬ ‪#‎LGBTQ‬ ‪#‎Pridependence‬ ‪#‎Pride‬}}

In [[October 2015]], Chris released a [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|video]] in which he apologizes for his past homophobic statements and iterates that he is now supportive of male homosexuals, while still drilling the point home that Sonichu and Rosechu are straight. He almost simultaneously [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Sonichu 10]] and replaced the fictional gay epidemic with a bizarre [[Nombie-zazis|Nazi zombie]] premise, which still has homophobic implications given the context of the comic.

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'm STRAIGHT! I'm STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE the homos!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''[[Lie|I. Am. STRAIGHT!]]'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

===“Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler’s Address to the Homosexuals===
On 6 August 2009, at a time when the trolls were getting the most mileage out of baiting Chris regarding his sexual orientation, Chris posted a wide-ranging, [[Chris and anger|hate-fuelled]] rant on the [[CWCipedia]] which he hoped would clear up all misconceptions. His "Address to the Homosexuals," subtitled "I AM STRAIGHT!!! NOT HOMO; NOT BI; STRAIGHT!!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS!" is a classic statement on the issue. Unfortunately it had no noticeable effect on the trolling. The essay in full:

{{quotebox|
Good day, I write this essay with sound mind to address the major issues that has been bugging me constantly for the past few yeas, The Pressure and '''Stress''' FROM the Homosexual Population.

First off, as I have said OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND '''OVER Infinite Number Of Times''', ''I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, AM STRAIGHT.'' '''[[Tomgirl Saga|No Question or]][[Gaybian|Shadow of a Doubt, EVER.]]'''

I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; '''NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW.''' Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head. Every time of such pictures’ appearance, ''I feel Queasy and want to Throw Up.'' I humbly apologize for being offensive, but that is how I feel.

As a human being, I have no hard feelings conversing and associating with the homosexuals at any time. Individually, they each have a right to their own opinions, perceptions and peaceful lives. I fully understand and respect that.

''The only thing that really Grinds My Gears Harshly is being '''Wrongfully Labeled as a Homosexual when I am straight.'''''

I am aware of the way I [[Speech impediment|stutter]], space my words and all that from the way I talk, but I assure you, that I sometimes have trouble fully comprehending situations and status at first; it sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, ''I am Sometimes Retarded.''

And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because '''the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY'''; kept down with the ''Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend''. I am not a man who likes confrontations with the guy who has spoken for the woman I’m eying over. And during my High School Years, '''I WAS NAÏVE on the subject of DATING''' (''Bring in Dating Education Classes, and Run them Alongside or Before Sexual Education, and make Dating Education Equally Mandatory)''. [[Honor roll|It had not dawned on me that I NEEDED TO BE DATING until AFTER I had turned Twenty-One-Years Old]], during my Third Year attending Piedmont Virginia Community College.

And my '''Sonichu and Rosechu Comic Pages'''; again, I understand each individual person has their own perception of things, BUT Contrary to the individual perceptions among some people, '''The Comics, Drawings, and ALL Words ALL HAD NO MEANING OF ANYTHING Homosexual Whatsoever!''' I Personally in Real Life AND in the Comic Pages and all that '''PROMOTE BEING STRAIGHT''', No Question or Shadow of a Doubt.

All Those of You have Heavily Wrongfully Misunderstood Parts of All the Comic Pages and all that of such.

'''I, All my Sonichus, Rosechus, and citizens of Cwcville, Virginia, Do Not Appreciate At All Being Wrongfully Labled as homosexuals. IT REALLY INFURIATES ME, Sonichu, Rosechu and EVERYBODY ELSE.'''

I have also heard of My Sonichu being ''written in College Essays that promote homosexuality.'' And even worse, ''promoting him in the Gay Pride Parades.'' '''WRONG LABELS; STOP WRITING OR PROMOTING ME OR MY CHARACTERS AS SUCH!''' ''[[Reldnac Ha-Taque|ALL Sonichus Are Straight!]] [[Silvana Rosechu|ALL Rosechus Are Straight!]] I Am Straight! My Comics are STRAIGHT COMICS.'' I, Sonichu and Rosechu, '''We Never Want to be part of ANY AND ALL Homosexual-Promoting Papers or Events, because with EVERY ITEM that is created from NOT OF MY OWN HANDS that EVEN Inklings such Wrongful Labelings upon, ME, Sonichu, Rosechu, and ALL MY STRAIGHT CHARACTERS, WE ARE ALL BEING DISREPECTED!'''

We will Never Take the Misunderstandings, Mislabelings And All The Like Sitting Down.

I, Personally, would RATHER have a PAINFUL Gender-Change Operation than EVER Turn Homosexual.

'''So, to reiterate, I, and 96 % of ALL CHARACTERS, are ALL STRAIGHT!''' ''NEVER EVER CALL me, my comics, or any of MY STRAIGHT Characters GAY!''

<nowiki>*</nowiki>sigh*

And to conclude, while I personally do not care about the homosexual lifestyle that swift, and I personally respect each individual homosexual person as individual human beings, '''The MAIN thing that really Infuriates Me is being called gay. DO NOT EVER Call Me Gay, or EVER Question My Sexual Orientation.
'''

''[[Lie|I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, Am Straight]]. Period.
''

Thank you.}}

==Views on lesbianism==

Whereas Chris's discomfort with homosexual males has been fairly consistent, his views on lesbianism have wildly vacillated. In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, "[[The High School Story]]", his Mary Sue character Terrah LeAnne Yowman is ridiculed and accused of being a lesbian by kids at her high school because she hangs around with male friends. As the work serves as a backstory to the villainous [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], Terrah's bullying may have served as a fictional inverse parallel to the endless accusations of homosexuality lodged by Chris' detractors, illustrating Chris' worldview of implied homosexuality as an insult.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[Creepy stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight [[Christian Weston Chandler|Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 25 July 2009, Chris produced a [[CWC "Boyfriend"|rambling and nonsensical video]] to the tune of Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend". In the middle of the video, Chris sings about the importance of "being straight" and intersperses a "STAY STRAIGHT" caption on a photo of a lesbian couple split in two.

{{quote|
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me!
Hey, you! Hey, you!
You need to be straight, girl!
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend! }}

Later, Chris would gradually revise his former hard-line attitude against lesbians. In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Cwcipedia: Sonichu]</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> Chris may have shoehorned a lesbian character into ''Sonichu'' to appear more tolerant, but his attempt comes off as half-hearted in light of his continual derision of gay men and insistence that Heather hide her sexuality.

In [[Mumble 1]], which took place on the last day of 2009, Chris declared his support for lesbians and reiterated his simultaneous hatred for gay men, stating that he hated [[JERKS]] in general, and how (typically) a porn DVD helped to soften his view on lesbians. In effect, Chris claimed that he supports lesbians because he believes women are beautiful, and hates gay men because men are icky.

{{quote|Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial [dis]courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion...I've uh talked to others before with uh, [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], my uh s-s-Sarah, my girlfriend. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

{{quote|Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

On 28 [[March 2013]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook#Gay Marriage |Facebook message]] whining about repeat media coverage of the Supreme Court's [[:wikipedia:Hollingsworth v. Perry|Proposition 8]] and [[:wikipedia:United States v. Windsor|DOMA]] deliberations. In it, he reiterated his support for lesbians and his disapproval of "the damn homosexual males".

===Chris the lesbian===
[[File:Chris at a gay bar.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's selfie from a gay bar restroom. Disturbing, but unsurprising.]]
On 14 [[August 2014]], Chris posted on his [[Facebook]] page that he himself was now officially a "lesbian-identified man".<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]]</ref> He posted a picture of himself holding an LGBT flag. He stated that "I support the LBT fully; the G.[ay] M.[ale]s are fortunate to be on this boat." On 31 [[October 2014]], Chris spent that [[Halloween]] at a gay bar dressed as a "Groovy 70's Lesbian",<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref> further evidencing his apparent acceptance of homosexuality, in that visiting a gay bar was [[Chris and hypocrisy|THE thing Chris had specified on multiple occasions that he would never do in his life]].

However, as anyone who's even mildly aware of sexuality and gender will tell you, a lesbian male isn't actually a real thing. The idea of a "lesbian in man's body" is just something a guy might google after [[mass debating]], and Chris's citation of '''Yahoo! Answers''' to validate its existence is unpersuasive to say the least. Whether or not Chris has had a turn of heart, and realized the error of his ways when it comes to homosexuality, we'll just have to wait and see. Sexuality seems to be the most powerful governing force in Chris's self-definition, and as such it is perhaps unsurprising that it has changed so dramatically over time, given his utter failure to find his place in the world.

Chris's identification as a lesbian is closely tied to the next subject...

== Chris and transsexuality ==
{{quote|Tranny Pride, Worldwide!|Chris calling himself a derogatory term for transgenders, 14 August 2014<ref>[[Brassieres For Males#Chris comes out]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Die-cis-scum.jpg|thumb|right|Likelier than you think.]][[Image:Chris_15_Aug_2014_changed_profile_pic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris the "Male Lesbian Intersex Transgender."]]

Given that Chris lacks basic [[English]] skills, it shouldn’t be surprising that he has trouble navigating the linguistic minefield of ''transgender'', ''transsexual'', ''transvestite'', ''intersex'', ''bisexual'', ''hermaphrodite'', and his own ''tomgirl''. For someone who hates mislabelings, he sure is sloppy when it comes to these labels. On his [[OKCupid]] profile, when asked, "Would you date a transgender person," he replied, "Yes, as long as she was born female and was still female (or a tomboy)."<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref> He told [[Jackie]] that the fact that he loved wearing women’s clothing did not make him a “transvestite.”<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He told gal-pal [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah Bentley]] that the [[unclit]] made him “bisexual” when he meant intersex; he promptly flipped his shit when Rebeckah asked if he wanted to fuck dudes now.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Introducing the un-clit]]</ref> All of Chris’s claims about sexuality or gender identity need to be viewed through an autistic filter.

That said, Chris has spent many years struggling to articulate his position on transgender topics. In the early years of trolling, he confessed that he was uncomfortable with the idea of transgender people, and made it clear that he was not sexually attracted to them. “I have given thought about the transgenders and transvesites; I do not feel comfortable with them….[D]icks are dicks, and I do not care about them, except for my own,” he wrote in a [[January 2009]] chat.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He later reiterated: “I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.”<ref>[[Mailbag 26#Reusing the same excuses for everything else!]]</ref>

{{quote|I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite.|Classic Chris, 15 January 2010<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Shemales and man-tits]]</ref>}}

Yet somehow, he could not let the issue rest...when [[Wikipedia:Bailey Jay|Bailey Jay]] introduced herself to Chris in a [[Mailbag]] letter, revealing some naughty selfies, Chris’s initial reaction was completely phobic at the sight of this "hermaphrodite." Later though, after Jay let Chris know that he had hurt her feelings, he reached into his shallow well of empathy. "I can relate to how you feel. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I was born female instead, because of some of my emotional, caring, self-conscious thoughts I had in my lifetime. Then I would later remember that God must have made me all straight male for good reasons."<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!]] and [[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref> When Chris looked at this beautiful woman with a large pickle, he saw a distorted reflection of himself. He was not yet ready to abandon his “straight male” identity, though.

After becoming a [[tomgirl]] in 2011, even though he was still officially a "heterosexual" and "proud to be male," some of his words and actions betrayed a deeper gender confusion. He started using women’s restrooms. He told Jackie that he fantasized about "fit[ting] in at a lesbian bar," where he believed he would have no trouble seducing a lesbian and persuading her to bone "in lesbian's position (the scissor-thing) with my dick in her vag."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref> In December 2013 he confessed to Rebeckah, "I wish I was born female, with the possibility of being a lesbian."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life]]</ref> He still seemed unsettled, especially since being a tomgirl wasn’t working to attract a Sweetheart/Soulmate.

On 14 [[August 2014]], he came out publicly, although as what exactly wasn’t certain, given his garbled and inconsistent vocabulary. The initial announcement was that he was "a Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser." Then he said he was a "Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny." Two weeks later he was telling [[Catherine]] that he was a "Lesbian tomgirl transgender male" but also "[[Three-Quarter Woman|three-quarters woman]]." By September he seemed to have settled on "Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body)."<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]], [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Flirt the skirt!]], [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Understanding the whole tomgirl thing]], and [[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Alright, Alright, NOW It's OK to Be Gay]]</ref> In [[April 2015]], apparently no longer a "man," he changed his Facebook pronoun to "she" and his name to "Christine".<ref>[[April 2015 Facebook posts#A new pronoun]]</ref> This month also saw the beginning of a flurry of Facebook "likes" for all sorts of progressive transgender issues, such as restroom choice and gay marriage. Whatever he was, he was certainly proud of it, and wasted no time trying to persuade his new L(G)BT personal army to wage war against local manajerks.

===Does Chris Want the Operation?===
Almost immediately upon being discovered, Chris revealed that he had been giving a lot of thought to contingencies which might require him to lop off his [[duck]]. In 2007 he told [[Megan]], “if I ever stoop down to changing my path [i.e., becoming a homo], I might as well would get a gender change operation.”<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself]]</ref> He also made it clear to anyone who asked that he was literally nauseated by the sight of his own penis (and all other penises). It might seem self-evident, then, that Lesbian Transgender Chris would be eager to undergo sex reassignment surgery. However, in his intellectual discourses on transgender controversies, Chris has expressed some ambivalence. In a February 2009 chat, when asked if transwomen should "go under the knife," Chris replied:

{{quote|Um...[long pause] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh, with both sets of uh, genitals, I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.|Chris, apropos of nothing<ref>[[Mumble 6#On The Transgender Community]]</ref>}}

He similarly told a troll impersonating transgender porn actress Bailey Jay (who also hadn’t asked) that "if I should ever have a hermaphrodite for a child, I would raise that child with the mentality of a boy/man."<ref>[[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref>

For a long time, these were puzzling statements, given his hatred for [[JERKS]] and all manner of pickled cucumbers. As his own gender identity mutated, however, Chris revealed his reasoning. In early 2014, on his OKCupid Q&A, he was faced with the question, "Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?" Chris’s answer was, "Do not perform the surgery." He added,

{{quote|If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).|Chris, exemplifying the wisdom of Solomon<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref>}}

In other words, there were two obstacles in the way of Chris losing his duck. First, a sex change operation wouldn’t provide him with reproductive organs. Since, as a woman, he would not be able to give the birth to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] personally (which is his true fantasy), he must first impregnate someone, as many times as necessary until the appearance of his God-promised daughter. He can’t adopt, because Crystal must come from "blood, tears, and semenal descent."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#10 November]]</ref> He criticized fellow tranny Ahuviya (whom he incorrectly believed to be [[Jack Thaddeus]]) for trying to have the operation, claiming that he "would definitely not be considered any at all a woman--a woman whatsoever" because "he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive [sic] organs. I mean, I want to have children someday. Obviously, he don't."<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref>

In late 2014, he could not persuade a sperm bank, lesbians on a message board, or his friend [[Open Relationship E-mails|Renee]] to serve as the vessel for Crystal.<ref>[[Semen#Donation]]</ref> So for now, its purpose unfulfilled, the Ugly Growth must remain.

The second reason he can’t get the surgery is that the duck is an [[Attraction Sign]]. As much as he loves to crow about being a "Lesbian," Chris wants to be "open to all women, Straight, Bi, and Lesbian." In a [[May 2015]] Facebook Q&A, regarding the operation, he was equivocal, and wrote, "I am exploring making the best of this body for Any Woman born with a vagina." If he wants to be everything for everybody, he will need to hold onto the duck.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#All This and Eye-Contact Too!]] and [[May 2015 Facebook posts#The Mailbag Returns]]</ref>

It should also be noted that Chris doesn’t have a fucking clue how sex reassignment works. In [[June 2015]] he posted an advertisement on Facebook: “I deserve to be a full woman with a full functioning vagina. A- blood type, if anyone wants to put up the money and trade.”<ref>[[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Let's Trade Genitalia]]</ref> As with most things he wants, Chris prefers to sit on his fat lesbian ass and wait for "a Magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Depressed on Christmas]]</ref>

===In CWCville===
Before his slide into “femdom,” Chris used the intersex character [[Silvana]] to symbolize the evil trolls. The evil [[Count Graduon]] told her, “I am going to grant you with the power to transform like a Ditto. My price is that you will have to relinquish your ability to give birth, and you will be upgraded to have both parts. So with the biological upgrade complete, your years of training can begin.”<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook#Episode 18]]</ref> She proceeded to seduce and horrify the tranquil community. After Chris modified his gender identity, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robee Sonichu]] also became a tomgirl, and later a full-fledged male lesbian. In May 2015 he confirmed that [[Comic Chris]] was a “Lesbian Transwoman,” and [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as a D-cup female with “a uterus and ovaries,” possibly to be renamed Chrissy-Chan Rosechu. Then, through the power of his imagination, Chris managed to ''impregnate himself'' with a turkey baster and give birth to twins.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> This scenario is probably as realistic as Chris ever getting a handle on his own gender.

==Evidence against Chris's heterosexuality==
[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't fail at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|[[Niggos|Oh lawd, is dat sum lipstick on Chris?]]]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies ([[Recycling|and eats imaginary man asses]]).}}

[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]
[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png|thumb|Totally not gay at all.]]
[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png|thumb|''One... eyebrow.'']]

Ironically, the [[Autistic dick|harder]] Chris [[I am STRAIGHT|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the less so he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!"<ref>[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]</ref> every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Chris has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref>
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into adulthood, and began this collecting way before ''Friendship is Magic'' premiered.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Call 1|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his "friends" were female and he never slept with any of them (despite his best efforts to do so).
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN chat with Julie]], Chris revealed that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* In the chat where [[Julie Reveals Herself]], when [[Max]] told Chris to suck his duck, Chris asked, "How can I do yours if I'm all the way over here?" instead of simply saying "no", although this could simply be his autistic mind trying to cope with hyperbole. Also, later on in the same chat, Chris attempted to show Max his duck when the latter began to taunt him with claims that he had a pussy. While you might be thinking that it's just a typical knee-jerk reaction from Chris, an [[Julie_Reveals_Herself:_The_Prequel|earlier chat]] reveals a part where Chris ''offers'' to show Max his dick.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put a large dildo up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* Chris once drew [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a male character, on his duck.
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref> Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.
* According to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|receipts]] uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for anal beads as a gift with an order of pornography. Chris, however, lied, claiming that the anal beads as well as a vibrator were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. Chris kept said vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs|sex logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* His absolute revulsion to seeing other men's penises. If Chris was truly straight, he would not be uncomfortable seeing other men's penises because he would have no interest in them sexually.
* On [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009]], Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a [[gaybian]]. He later issued a retraction, which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* When Julie finally revealed herself as a [[pedofork|13 year old boy]], Chris's immediate response was "I did not know you were a 13 year old!" making it sound like he's shocked by the age but not the least bit concerned about the fact that he's a boy.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by [[Nudes|close-up pictures of his buttcheeks and anus]], not that anybody of any orientation would find it erotic.
* The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]] is pink.
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]], which are essentially hair clips, which are essentially women's fashion accessories.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* Chris wears a [[bra]]. In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" at the CWCipedia, you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he owns a copy of the first ''[[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|Sex and the City]]'' movie when he showcased his then-current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving all the characters a [[Wikipedia:Queer Eye|free makeover]].
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from the virus, implying that Chris is "infected" with homosexuality if his blood could be used to make a vaccine.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a duck.
* In the above same Trollin Train post, he mentioned achieving comeuppance before vomiting, indicating he had an erection, and thus was sexually aroused from being sodomized by a man.
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [[:File:Punchylaylalove.jpg|wearing panties and a bra]].
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks suspiciously like an erect penis.
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].
* He voluntarily dressed up as a woman, went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals and vice-versa, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public. When Bob learned of Chris's antics, his immediate response was to call him a "fag".
* On 29 April 2012, Chris 'reveals' that the gay camp experience story he made up as [[JenkinsJinkies]] was a fake. Aside from the fact that [[Naive|absolutely nobody fell for this at all]], it does leave this question: Out of all of the stories that Chris could have made up under a fake identity, why did he go with one where he gets sodomized at [[Pedofork|seven]]?
* [[It's not that cold]] shows Chris infamously saying, "Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me." Take note that Chris is dressed in a mini-skirt and hikes it up to reveal his grotesque man ass at the camera, indicating that he'd like to be taken from behind, all in an attempt to re-enact ''The Silence of the Lambs''.
* Whenever anyone calls Chris out on his [[Women's rights|objectification of women's bodies]], he is always quick to back-pedal and say he appreciates women more for their personalities, unaware that personalities are the key reason for relationships between gay men and their female friends.
* Chris created a modified version of the song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''The Boondocks'' called "Don't Trust Any Homos Over There". However, the character who sings the original song is Uncle Ruckus, a self-loathing black man. This makes Chris look like a self-loathing homosexual.
* The fact that he thinks that ''staring at a poster'' will keep himself straight implies he has homosexual thoughts and fantasies that he wants to keep in check. The irony of the fact that he thinks staring hard enough at a poster of Sailor Moon, a gay icon, will magically suppress these homoerotic urges is lost on him.
* After [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] became Chris's equal and opposite as the result of the latter's brief immersion in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], he turned openly gay. One would think that this logically means Chris is straight, except for the fact that it's made clear that the two differ only in their openness, not their homosexuality.
* Chris posted an absurd "riddle" on [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Facebook]] containing random pictures, containing Mark Cuban, lemon cake, Delaware Blue Hens and the Sphinx. It's worth noting that [http://i.imgur.com/oKAtnAo.jpg Mark Cuban] is gay, lemon cake is often dyed rainbow in [http://i.imgur.com/qy1U14g.jpggay pride festivals], Delaware is one of the only states to uphold [http://i.imgur.com/YVAnfl9.jpg gay marriage], hens often exhibit homosexuality, and there's a game called [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gay%20chicken Gay Chicken], and the sphinx is also a breed of cat. A breed of cat that's [http://i.imgur.com/uBwdEdz.jpg really gay].
* In 2012, Chris signed in the [[CWCki Forums]] as "paintingatree". The term "Painting The Tree" is [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Painting%20the%20tree act slang for oral sex], which may refer to his duck.
* Chris posted a picture on [[Facebook#I_got_new_shoes|Facebook]] showing his new shoes. Note the gay pink laces and it looks like sneakers worn for women.
* Chris posted a pointless picture on [[Facebook#One Eyebrow|Facebook]], showing his eyebrow. Note that it's '''eyebrow''' and not '''eyebrows''', as [http://www.discodamaged.com/2010/12/lesbians-to-grown-on-eyebrow.html lesbians are proposing to grow one eyebrow on Decembrow].
* Chris pierced his right ear (twice), a common, albeit dated, code for homosexuality--"Left ear buccaneer, right ear queer."
* Chris wrote a [[February_2014_Facebook_Posts#Tabitha_St._Germaine|Facebook post]] comparing Tabitha St. Germain, the voice actress of Rarity from ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'' (among many others), to gay icon Judy Garland.
* Attempting to prove that [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] is a separate identity, Chris favorited and commented on a number of gay [[pedofork]] [[anime]]s on [[YouTube]].<ref>[[:File:Recent Activity.jpg]]</ref>
* In his August 2014 Facebook posts, Chris identified himself as a 'tranny' and a 'Ho Mo' ''(for the ladies, [[Chris_and_English|according to him]])'', placed a marriage equality support symbol on his page's banner, and spoke about women being "supportive" of his choices. He's blissfully unaware (or ''outright doesn't care'') that all of this makes him look like he's come out of the closet. Not to mention, he calls himself a derogatory term for transsexuals.
* He [[October_2014_Facebook_Posts#Chris_hits_up_a_gay_bar_.28seriously.29|went to a gay bar on Halloween 2014]].
* He is a member of the local [https://www.facebook.com/groups/eventsatimpuslegsc gay club] on facebook.
* He once glitterbombed Sega. Glitterbombing was started by the gay community as a way to protest opponents of gay marriage.
* His [[26 December 2014|can of mace]] is colored pink.
* He posted a story on [[Facebook]] about him as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] having sex with [[Magi-chan]] and getting pregnant.
* The tote bag he used at [[OmegaCon]] had a marriage equality logo and the words "TOTES GAY" written in bold capitals on it.
* In his [[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas]] video, his song mentions how his true love had given him "drag kings, and the transmales that have "not" have the operation change yet".

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[Heather Iglesias]]
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
* [[Tomgirl]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

Homos

2017-02-05T12:19:54Z

RedVine01: /* Chris on his alleged homosexuality */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
{{Quote|I Am Straight; [[China|Vaginas]] and [[Plush breasts|Boobies]] Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.|[[Chris]].<ref>[[Mailbag 31]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|There Was a time before I realized mine being a female soul trapped in a male-born body, when I was homophobic. But I became better aware of these kind and open-hearted people, and learned how understanding and compassionate they are, and with that, losing the homophobia, I felt more at peace with myself and those around me.|Chris evolves.<ref>[[January_2017_Facebook_Posts#Open_letter_to_Barron_Trump]]</ref>}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which Chris referred to gay people--almost invariably gay males--nigh exclusively at the time of his discovery. He has also occasionally used phrases such as "those of the wrong orientation", because even saying the word "homo" or "gay" makes him uncomfortable.

From the very beginning of his [[internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|STAY STRAIGHT]]" have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects. Chris's ire for male homosexuals is confusing, since they, of all people, pose the least threat to his [[Love Quest]], and seems to be motivated entirely by his own sexual insecurities.

At various times, most recently following his coming out as a "[[Tomgirl|transgender]] [[Gaybian|lesbian]]" in [[2014]], Chris has seemingly recanted previous homophobic statements, claiming to have become fully supportive of equality and human rights. In nearly every case, this has been at the request of a gal-pal or sweetheart, and like most of his [[Chris and remorse|apologies]] has been insincere. He apparently remains repulsed and unnerved by homosexual men on a personal level.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris. <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause him to be "leered off the straight path." His terror has been such that he was barely able to bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He seems to struggle with intrusive homosexual thoughts; he has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle]] without being "freaked out."<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris revealed that he had to cover a section of his computer screen with a piece of paper so that he could browse the [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s pro-gay advertisements. Nothing will get Chris angrier than being "mislabeled" as a homo.

Chris's homophobia seems to have emerged sometime in 2006, as his very earliest expression of anxiety is his classic "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|Future Message]]," released in February 2007. At no time before this, either in his comics or his [[diary]] or his private correspondence, does he make any reference to homosexuality. It apparently grew out of the complex stew of his [[noviophobia]], his failure to achieve his Love Quest, his admiration for [[My Little Pony|girly toys]], his own [[Chris and gender|gender confusion]], his loathing of [[muscle bra|male bodies]], and [[autism]].
[[File:Taking it in the briefs.JPG|thumb|right|You're making this painfully obvious, Chris.]]

==Defenses against becoming a homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by stomping on [[vibrator]]s and showcasing index cards indicating their straightness on their shoes.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Chris uses many strange and totemic objects, from a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|poster of Sailor Moon]] to his [[Optimus Prime]] toy, to aggressively assert his straightness. Chris has said that he stared at his Sailor Moon poster every day to stave off temptations of homosexuality. The centerfold poster of [[The Simpsons#Marge poster|Marge Simpson's ''Playboy'' edition]] was another of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she is a married cartoon character does not seem to have dissuaded him. Chris also subscribes to ''Playboy'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to breasts and china.

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) fans sent Chris questions on the CWCipedia asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tended to suggest what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas included thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarified that one needs not buy a Sailor Moon poster in particular; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick. He believes these rituals are necessary to "maintain" sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris has also encouraged women to not [[Alcohol|drink]], [[Tobacky|smoke]], or be physically abused while pregnant, as this could cause the baby to be born homosexual, as if Homosexuality is like Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. <ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref> Chris is also convinced that his chances of becoming homosexual have been raised because he did not engage in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education</ref> hence his oft-stated regret that he did not get [[dating education]] classes in high school, and his recommendation that they be made available for the youth of today.

Considering the myriad of habits Chris has cultivated which are highly atypical for a straight male, it seems certain that he has been at the very least sexually confused. He is demonstrably very aggressive and insecure about it.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris is not simply afraid of becoming a homo himself--he hates all gay men. This animosity seems to result primarily from his fear of them (and all men) and their supposed ability or desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] - all of them - as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] must be gay. It also reveals a belief that all of his trolls are male, since Chris uses "homo" exclusively in reference to gay men. This notion is not only [[Vivian Gee|demonstrably false]], but in fact [[Chris and reality|completely delusional]], since many of Chris's greatest trolls have been women, and Chris knows it. This exercise in selective memory likely stems from Chris's loathing of male [[JERKS]] and inversely-proportional adoration of [[Gal-pals|women]].

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59.}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic the Hedgehog|one of his own abominations]].]]

Chris further went on to propose a bizarre form of conversion therapy in which all gay men would be imprisoned and made to sleep with both female offenders and prostitutes, thereby "reprogramming" them. Interestingly, a certain [[wikipedia:Heinrich Himmler|Herr Himmler]] had a similar idea, suggesting that "pink triangle" concentration camp prisoners be forced to sleep with (female) camp prostitutes.

{{quote|[they would be] taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts.|Chris, 2 January 2009, 12:01.}}

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his sagacious opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He advocated the lifting of the ban, but only so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

The universe of [[CWCville]] has also seen an anti-gay jihad. On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality is found, the people involved are [[Chris and the Law|arrested and fined heavily]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris's comic self travels into the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (An idea stolen from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Gay|Family Gay]]"). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Wikipedia:Sonderbehandlung|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]]). Chris then brought back to the present enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight. Ironically, a vaccination traditionally consists of introducing a small amount of the disease to a body to stimulate the immune system - so Chris unwittingly implied that his blood contains the dreaded homo virus.

A classic case of Chris's homophobia surfaced in the struggle over advertisements on his CWCipedia. Jack Thaddeus purchased ad space on the CWCipedia to put up 2 ads. One featured Peter Griffin of ''Family Guy'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights; and the other promoted Mexican tourism with a cartoon [[pickle]]. Chris unsurprisingly went berserk, stating:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''|Chris.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In protest, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site calling for a boycott of Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. To sum it up, in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that would ''not'' win him any gay friends whatsoever.

As with his fear of becoming a homo, the origins of Chris's deep homophobia are not clear. Certainly [[Bob]] had an influence, as the [[Matthew Noble call]] showed that he had the same kind of deranged hatred and prejudice as his son. On 7 January 2010, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight:

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

If this is true, Chris made no reference to it at the time, restricting his hatred solely to the heterosexual male [[JERKS]]. It is certainly ironic considering his more recent views on lesbianism. It also adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by his being childish and whiny about not getting his way with ''one'' woman who turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

Chris knows that his homophobia is unpopular with his fans, and he has often tried to persuade the public that he respects homosexuals for "who they are". However, he usually betrays his sincere intolerance of different lifestyles soon afterward - often within the same statement. On [[CWC Update 18 February 2009|18 February 2009]], for example, Chris issued one of his retractions of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" just as he respects his gal pals and his [[List of Chris's sweethearts|sweethearts]]. However, this was done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|a mere month later]] Chris was [[Chris and religion|reciting verses from the Bible]] to once again preach against the vile homos.

On 14 [[June 2009]], Chris posted a "[[music]]" [[video]] called "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]", which, in his tradition of ruining everything you ever loved, is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s satirical song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''. Later on that same day, he published an [[I'm Sorry, Dude|apology]] for the video and insisted that he likes gays who "ac...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Chris was of course unaware of the various other career accomplishments of Stephen Fry. It seems that this apology was only posted in the first place for the sake of his gal-pal [[Kim]]'s boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

On 12 January 2010, Chris again appeared to soften his stance, saying that "I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within CWCville." However, in the same breath Chris clarified, "gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> The reason why gay marriage isn't an "equal relationship right" is not readily apparent.

More recently, not long after coming out as a "male lesbian," Chris felt deeply uncomfortable with being perceived as "gay" or "homo," and in Facebook statements attempted to exclude gay men from his crusade for gender equality. No doubt under the influence of his new sweetheart [[Catherine]] and other gal-pals, Chris retracted these clumsy statements, apologizing for the umpteenth time.

{{quote|I am accepting of the gays as people, just like most any individual person. Seriously, you all be proud of who you are. All I ask is not to find any reason to feel anger towards anyone of any orientation, race or whatever, based on their individual actions or offense as an individual person of self. Also, please disregard all of my past and Way past thoughts of turning gays straight; that was very wrong of me. I am very sorry about that, and continue to be true and proud of yourselves for who you are, as I am Very Proud of myself for being a Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body).|Chris, surprisingly redeemable.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

He also announced his support for the Human Rights Campaign, going so far as to say that homophobics "are none other than the Cyber-Bullies and Internet Trolls who put hate on the innocent around the world; Young and Old. Some of which even put pressure on to force you into being something you know fully that you are Not!" Interestingly, his prior notion that all trolls are homosexuals had been completely reversed to the idea that they're all homo''phobes'', illustrating that Chris still believes that any detractor of his is part of an organized movement and [[Chris and his Ego|has personal flaws]].

However, if the past is any judge, the end of his relationship with Catherine has no doubt caused his homophobia to resurface. He confirmed in late 2014 that despite the fact that comic Chris shares his new gender identity, [[Reldnahc]], his opposite, is still an evil violent homo.<ref>Commissions</ref>

On 26 [[June 2015]], the Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of gay marriage. Chris, shockingly enough, reacted very positively towards this:

{{Quotebox|Congratulations to us all for Nationwide Marriage Equality! If a holiday be made of June 26, 2015, how about ‪#‎PridependenceDay‬!

Now, I still require my Sweetheart to be my future wife. As a ‪#‎Lesbian‬ ‪#‎Transwoman‬, I do feel I am compatible with Any woman.

And No, I am not mistaken. I have been genuinely feeling and [[List of Chris's lies|identifying like a woman for about my whole lifetime]]. I never could appreciate the [[JERK|male's]] Neanderthal interests. And I felt more appreciative and comprehending of [[Women's Rights|fashions, makeup, shopping]], [[Chris and remorse|empathy]], identifying feelings and [[Death threats|looking to resolve problems]] [[Sub-episodes|reasonably]].

Plus, I have a great deal of [[Chris and Anger|self control]], and I can bring good and pleasant [[semen|tidings]] to an all woman party.

‪#‎LoveWins‬ ‪#‎OneFamily‬ ‪#‎LGBTQ‬ ‪#‎Pridependence‬ ‪#‎Pride‬}}

In [[October 2015]], Chris released a [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|video]] in which he apologizes for his past homophobic statements and iterates that he is now supportive of male homosexuals, while still drilling the point home that Sonichu and Rosechu are straight. He almost simultaneously [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Sonichu 10]] and replaced the fictional gay epidemic with a bizarre [[Nombie-zazis|Nazi zombie]] premise, which still has homophobic implications given the context of the comic.

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'm STRAIGHT! I'm STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE the homos!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''[[Lie|I. Am. STRAIGHT!]]'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

===“Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler’s Address to the Homosexuals===
On 6 August 2009, at a time when the trolls were getting the most mileage out of baiting Chris regarding his sexual orientation, Chris posted a wide-ranging screed on the [[CWCipedia]] which he hoped would clear up all misconceptions. His "Address to the Homosexuals," subtitled "I AM STRAIGHT!!! NOT HOMO; NOT BI; STRAIGHT!!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS!" is a classic statement on the issue. Unfortunately it had no noticeable effect on the trolling. The essay in full:

{{quotebox|
Good day, I write this essay with sound mind to address the major issues that has been bugging me constantly for the past few yeas, The Pressure and '''Stress''' FROM the Homosexual Population.

First off, as I have said OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND '''OVER Infinite Number Of Times''', ''I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, AM STRAIGHT.'' '''No Question or Shadow of a Doubt, EVER.'''

I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; '''NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW.''' Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head. Every time of such pictures’ appearance, ''I feel Queasy and want to Throw Up.'' I humbly apologize for being offensive, but that is how I feel.

As a human being, I have no hard feelings conversing and associating with the homosexuals at any time. Individually, they each have a right to their own opinions, perceptions and peaceful lives. I fully understand and respect that.

''The only thing that really Grinds My Gears Harshly is being '''Wrongfully Labeled as a Homosexual when I am straight.'''''

I am aware of the way I stutter, space my words and all that from the way I talk, but I assure you, that I sometimes have trouble fully comprehending situations and status at first; it sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, ''I am Sometimes Retarded.''

And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because '''the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY'''; kept down with the ''Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend''. I am not a man who likes confrontations with the guy who has spoken for the woman I’m eying over. And during my High School Years, '''I WAS NAÏVE on the subject of DATING''' (''Bring in Dating Education Classes, and Run them Alongside or Before Sexual Education, and make Dating Education Equally Mandatory)''. It had not dawned on me that I NEEDED TO BE DATING until AFTER I had turned Twenty-One-Years Old, during my Third Year attending Piedmont Virginia Community College.

And my '''Sonichu and Rosechu Comic Pages'''; again, I understand each individual person has their own perception of things, BUT Contrary to the individual perceptions among some people, '''The Comics, Drawings, and ALL Words ALL HAD NO MEANING OF ANYTHING Homosexual Whatsoever!''' I Personally in Real Life AND in the Comic Pages and all that '''PROMOTE BEING STRAIGHT''', No Question or Shadow of a Doubt.

All Those of You have Heavily Wrongfully Misunderstood Parts of All the Comic Pages and all that of such.

'''I, All my Sonichus, Rosechus, and citizens of Cwcville, Virginia, Do Not Appreciate At All Being Wrongfully Labled as homosexuals. IT REALLY INFURIATES ME, Sonichu, Rosechu and EVERYBODY ELSE.'''

I have also heard of My Sonichu being ''written in College Essays that promote homosexuality.'' And even worse, ''promoting him in the Gay Pride Parades.'' '''WRONG LABELS; STOP WRITING OR PROMOTING ME OR MY CHARACTERS AS SUCH!''' ''ALL Sonichus Are Straight! ALL Rosechus Are Straight! I Am Straight! My Comics are STRAIGHT COMICS.'' I, Sonichu and Rosechu, '''We Never Want to be part of ANY AND ALL Homosexual-Promoting Papers or Events, because with EVERY ITEM that is created from NOT OF MY OWN HANDS that EVEN Inklings such Wrongful Labelings upon, ME, Sonichu, Rosechu, and ALL MY STRAIGHT CHARACTERS, WE ARE ALL BEING DISREPECTED!'''

We will Never Take the Misunderstandings, Mislabelings And All The Like Sitting Down.

I, Personally, would RATHER have a PAINFUL Gender-Change Operation than EVER Turn Homosexual.

'''So, to reiterate, I, and 96 % of ALL CHARACTERS, are ALL STRAIGHT!''' ''NEVER EVER CALL me, my comics, or any of MY STRAIGHT Characters GAY!''

<nowiki>*</nowiki>sigh*

And to conclude, while I personally do not care about the homosexual lifestyle that swift, and I personally respect each individual homosexual person as individual human beings, '''The MAIN thing that really Infuriates Me is being called gay. DO NOT EVER Call Me Gay, or EVER Question My Sexual Orientation.
'''

''I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, Am Straight. Period.
''

Thank you.}}

==Views on lesbianism==

Whereas Chris's discomfort with homosexual males has been fairly consistent, his views on lesbianism have wildly vacillated. In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, "[[The High School Story]]", his Mary Sue character Terrah LeAnne Yowman is ridiculed and accused of being a lesbian by kids at her high school because she hangs around with male friends. As the work serves as a backstory to the villainous [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], Terrah's bullying may have served as a fictional inverse parallel to the endless accusations of homosexuality lodged by Chris' detractors, illustrating Chris' worldview of implied homosexuality as an insult.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[Creepy stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight [[Christian Weston Chandler|Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 25 July 2009, Chris produced a [[CWC "Boyfriend"|rambling and nonsensical video]] to the tune of Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend". In the middle of the video, Chris sings about the importance of "being straight" and intersperses a "STAY STRAIGHT" caption on a photo of a lesbian couple split in two.

{{quote|
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me!
Hey, you! Hey, you!
You need to be straight, girl!
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend! }}

Later, Chris would gradually revise his former hard-line attitude against lesbians. In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Cwcipedia: Sonichu]</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> Chris may have shoehorned a lesbian character into ''Sonichu'' to appear more tolerant, but his attempt comes off as half-hearted in light of his continual derision of gay men and insistence that Heather hide her sexuality.

In [[Mumble 1]], which took place on the last day of 2009, Chris declared his support for lesbians and reiterated his simultaneous hatred for gay men, stating that he hated [[JERKS]] in general, and how (typically) a porn DVD helped to soften his view on lesbians. In effect, Chris claimed that he supports lesbians because he believes women are beautiful, and hates gay men because men are icky.

{{quote|Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial [dis]courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion...I've uh talked to others before with uh, [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], my uh s-s-Sarah, my girlfriend. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

{{quote|Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

On 28 [[March 2013]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook#Gay Marriage |Facebook message]] whining about repeat media coverage of the Supreme Court's [[:wikipedia:Hollingsworth v. Perry|Proposition 8]] and [[:wikipedia:United States v. Windsor|DOMA]] deliberations. In it, he reiterated his support for lesbians and his disapproval of "the damn homosexual males".

===Chris the lesbian===
[[File:Chris at a gay bar.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's selfie from a gay bar restroom. Disturbing, but unsurprising.]]
On 14 [[August 2014]], Chris posted on his [[Facebook]] page that he himself was now officially a "lesbian-identified man".<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]]</ref> He posted a picture of himself holding an LGBT flag. He stated that "I support the LBT fully; the G.[ay] M.[ale]s are fortunate to be on this boat." On 31 [[October 2014]], Chris spent that [[Halloween]] at a gay bar dressed as a "Groovy 70's Lesbian",<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref> further evidencing his apparent acceptance of homosexuality, in that visiting a gay bar was [[Chris and hypocrisy|THE thing Chris had specified on multiple occasions that he would never do in his life]].

However, as anyone who's even mildly aware of sexuality and gender will tell you, a lesbian male isn't actually a real thing. The idea of a "lesbian in man's body" is just something a guy might google after [[mass debating]], and Chris's citation of '''Yahoo! Answers''' to validate its existence is unpersuasive to say the least. Whether or not Chris has had a turn of heart, and realized the error of his ways when it comes to homosexuality, we'll just have to wait and see. Sexuality seems to be the most powerful governing force in Chris's self-definition, and as such it is perhaps unsurprising that it has changed so dramatically over time, given his utter failure to find his place in the world.

Chris's identification as a lesbian is closely tied to the next subject...

== Chris and transsexuality ==
{{quote|Tranny Pride, Worldwide!|Chris calling himself a derogatory term for transgenders, 14 August 2014<ref>[[Brassieres For Males#Chris comes out]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Die-cis-scum.jpg|thumb|right|Likelier than you think.]][[Image:Chris_15_Aug_2014_changed_profile_pic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris the "Male Lesbian Intersex Transgender."]]

Given that Chris lacks basic [[English]] skills, it shouldn’t be surprising that he has trouble navigating the linguistic minefield of ''transgender'', ''transsexual'', ''transvestite'', ''intersex'', ''bisexual'', ''hermaphrodite'', and his own ''tomgirl''. For someone who hates mislabelings, he sure is sloppy when it comes to these labels. On his [[OKCupid]] profile, when asked, "Would you date a transgender person," he replied, "Yes, as long as she was born female and was still female (or a tomboy)."<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref> He told [[Jackie]] that the fact that he loved wearing women’s clothing did not make him a “transvestite.”<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He told gal-pal [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah Bentley]] that the [[unclit]] made him “bisexual” when he meant intersex; he promptly flipped his shit when Rebeckah asked if he wanted to fuck dudes now.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Introducing the un-clit]]</ref> All of Chris’s claims about sexuality or gender identity need to be viewed through an autistic filter.

That said, Chris has spent many years struggling to articulate his position on transgender topics. In the early years of trolling, he confessed that he was uncomfortable with the idea of transgender people, and made it clear that he was not sexually attracted to them. “I have given thought about the transgenders and transvesites; I do not feel comfortable with them….[D]icks are dicks, and I do not care about them, except for my own,” he wrote in a [[January 2009]] chat.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He later reiterated: “I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.”<ref>[[Mailbag 26#Reusing the same excuses for everything else!]]</ref>

{{quote|I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite.|Classic Chris, 15 January 2010<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Shemales and man-tits]]</ref>}}

Yet somehow, he could not let the issue rest...when [[Wikipedia:Bailey Jay|Bailey Jay]] introduced herself to Chris in a [[Mailbag]] letter, revealing some naughty selfies, Chris’s initial reaction was completely phobic at the sight of this "hermaphrodite." Later though, after Jay let Chris know that he had hurt her feelings, he reached into his shallow well of empathy. "I can relate to how you feel. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I was born female instead, because of some of my emotional, caring, self-conscious thoughts I had in my lifetime. Then I would later remember that God must have made me all straight male for good reasons."<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!]] and [[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref> When Chris looked at this beautiful woman with a large pickle, he saw a distorted reflection of himself. He was not yet ready to abandon his “straight male” identity, though.

After becoming a [[tomgirl]] in 2011, even though he was still officially a "heterosexual" and "proud to be male," some of his words and actions betrayed a deeper gender confusion. He started using women’s restrooms. He told Jackie that he fantasized about "fit[ting] in at a lesbian bar," where he believed he would have no trouble seducing a lesbian and persuading her to bone "in lesbian's position (the scissor-thing) with my dick in her vag."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref> In December 2013 he confessed to Rebeckah, "I wish I was born female, with the possibility of being a lesbian."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life]]</ref> He still seemed unsettled, especially since being a tomgirl wasn’t working to attract a Sweetheart/Soulmate.

On 14 [[August 2014]], he came out publicly, although as what exactly wasn’t certain, given his garbled and inconsistent vocabulary. The initial announcement was that he was "a Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser." Then he said he was a "Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny." Two weeks later he was telling [[Catherine]] that he was a "Lesbian tomgirl transgender male" but also "[[Three-Quarter Woman|three-quarters woman]]." By September he seemed to have settled on "Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body)."<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]], [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Flirt the skirt!]], [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Understanding the whole tomgirl thing]], and [[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Alright, Alright, NOW It's OK to Be Gay]]</ref> In [[April 2015]], apparently no longer a "man," he changed his Facebook pronoun to "she" and his name to "Christine".<ref>[[April 2015 Facebook posts#A new pronoun]]</ref> This month also saw the beginning of a flurry of Facebook "likes" for all sorts of progressive transgender issues, such as restroom choice and gay marriage. Whatever he was, he was certainly proud of it, and wasted no time trying to persuade his new L(G)BT personal army to wage war against local manajerks.

===Does Chris Want the Operation?===
Almost immediately upon being discovered, Chris revealed that he had been giving a lot of thought to contingencies which might require him to lop off his [[duck]]. In 2007 he told [[Megan]], “if I ever stoop down to changing my path [i.e., becoming a homo], I might as well would get a gender change operation.”<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself]]</ref> He also made it clear to anyone who asked that he was literally nauseated by the sight of his own penis (and all other penises). It might seem self-evident, then, that Lesbian Transgender Chris would be eager to undergo sex reassignment surgery. However, in his intellectual discourses on transgender controversies, Chris has expressed some ambivalence. In a February 2009 chat, when asked if transwomen should "go under the knife," Chris replied:

{{quote|Um...[long pause] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh, with both sets of uh, genitals, I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.|Chris, apropos of nothing<ref>[[Mumble 6#On The Transgender Community]]</ref>}}

He similarly told a troll impersonating transgender porn actress Bailey Jay (who also hadn’t asked) that "if I should ever have a hermaphrodite for a child, I would raise that child with the mentality of a boy/man."<ref>[[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref>

For a long time, these were puzzling statements, given his hatred for [[JERKS]] and all manner of pickled cucumbers. As his own gender identity mutated, however, Chris revealed his reasoning. In early 2014, on his OKCupid Q&A, he was faced with the question, "Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?" Chris’s answer was, "Do not perform the surgery." He added,

{{quote|If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).|Chris, exemplifying the wisdom of Solomon<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref>}}

In other words, there were two obstacles in the way of Chris losing his duck. First, a sex change operation wouldn’t provide him with reproductive organs. Since, as a woman, he would not be able to give the birth to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] personally (which is his true fantasy), he must first impregnate someone, as many times as necessary until the appearance of his God-promised daughter. He can’t adopt, because Crystal must come from "blood, tears, and semenal descent."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#10 November]]</ref> He criticized fellow tranny Ahuviya (whom he incorrectly believed to be [[Jack Thaddeus]]) for trying to have the operation, claiming that he "would definitely not be considered any at all a woman--a woman whatsoever" because "he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive [sic] organs. I mean, I want to have children someday. Obviously, he don't."<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref>

In late 2014, he could not persuade a sperm bank, lesbians on a message board, or his friend [[Open Relationship E-mails|Renee]] to serve as the vessel for Crystal.<ref>[[Semen#Donation]]</ref> So for now, its purpose unfulfilled, the Ugly Growth must remain.

The second reason he can’t get the surgery is that the duck is an [[Attraction Sign]]. As much as he loves to crow about being a "Lesbian," Chris wants to be "open to all women, Straight, Bi, and Lesbian." In a [[May 2015]] Facebook Q&A, regarding the operation, he was equivocal, and wrote, "I am exploring making the best of this body for Any Woman born with a vagina." If he wants to be everything for everybody, he will need to hold onto the duck.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#All This and Eye-Contact Too!]] and [[May 2015 Facebook posts#The Mailbag Returns]]</ref>

It should also be noted that Chris doesn’t have a fucking clue how sex reassignment works. In [[June 2015]] he posted an advertisement on Facebook: “I deserve to be a full woman with a full functioning vagina. A- blood type, if anyone wants to put up the money and trade.”<ref>[[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Let's Trade Genitalia]]</ref> As with most things he wants, Chris prefers to sit on his fat lesbian ass and wait for "a Magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Depressed on Christmas]]</ref>

===In CWCville===
Before his slide into “femdom,” Chris used the intersex character [[Silvana]] to symbolize the evil trolls. The evil [[Count Graduon]] told her, “I am going to grant you with the power to transform like a Ditto. My price is that you will have to relinquish your ability to give birth, and you will be upgraded to have both parts. So with the biological upgrade complete, your years of training can begin.”<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook#Episode 18]]</ref> She proceeded to seduce and horrify the tranquil community. After Chris modified his gender identity, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robee Sonichu]] also became a tomgirl, and later a full-fledged male lesbian. In May 2015 he confirmed that [[Comic Chris]] was a “Lesbian Transwoman,” and [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as a D-cup female with “a uterus and ovaries,” possibly to be renamed Chrissy-Chan Rosechu. Then, through the power of his imagination, Chris managed to ''impregnate himself'' with a turkey baster and give birth to twins.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> This scenario is probably as realistic as Chris ever getting a handle on his own gender.

==Evidence against Chris's heterosexuality==
[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't fail at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|[[Niggos|Oh lawd, is dat sum lipstick on Chris?]]]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies ([[Recycling|and eats imaginary man asses]]).}}

[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]
[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png|thumb|Totally not gay at all.]]
[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png|thumb|''One... eyebrow.'']]

Ironically, the [[Autistic dick|harder]] Chris [[I am STRAIGHT|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the less so he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!"<ref>[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]</ref> every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Chris has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref>
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into adulthood, and began this collecting way before ''Friendship is Magic'' premiered.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Call 1|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his "friends" were female and he never slept with any of them (despite his best efforts to do so).
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN chat with Julie]], Chris revealed that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* In the chat where [[Julie Reveals Herself]], when [[Max]] told Chris to suck his duck, Chris asked, "How can I do yours if I'm all the way over here?" instead of simply saying "no", although this could simply be his autistic mind trying to cope with hyperbole. Also, later on in the same chat, Chris attempted to show Max his duck when the latter began to taunt him with claims that he had a pussy. While you might be thinking that it's just a typical knee-jerk reaction from Chris, an [[Julie_Reveals_Herself:_The_Prequel|earlier chat]] reveals a part where Chris ''offers'' to show Max his dick.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put a large dildo up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* Chris once drew [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a male character, on his duck.
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref> Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.
* According to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|receipts]] uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for anal beads as a gift with an order of pornography. Chris, however, lied, claiming that the anal beads as well as a vibrator were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. Chris kept said vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs|sex logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* His absolute revulsion to seeing other men's penises. If Chris was truly straight, he would not be uncomfortable seeing other men's penises because he would have no interest in them sexually.
* On [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009]], Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a [[gaybian]]. He later issued a retraction, which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* When Julie finally revealed herself as a [[pedofork|13 year old boy]], Chris's immediate response was "I did not know you were a 13 year old!" making it sound like he's shocked by the age but not the least bit concerned about the fact that he's a boy.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by [[Nudes|close-up pictures of his buttcheeks and anus]], not that anybody of any orientation would find it erotic.
* The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]] is pink.
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]], which are essentially hair clips, which are essentially women's fashion accessories.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* Chris wears a [[bra]]. In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" at the CWCipedia, you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he owns a copy of the first ''[[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|Sex and the City]]'' movie when he showcased his then-current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving all the characters a [[Wikipedia:Queer Eye|free makeover]].
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from the virus, implying that Chris is "infected" with homosexuality if his blood could be used to make a vaccine.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a duck.
* In the above same Trollin Train post, he mentioned achieving comeuppance before vomiting, indicating he had an erection, and thus was sexually aroused from being sodomized by a man.
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [[:File:Punchylaylalove.jpg|wearing panties and a bra]].
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks suspiciously like an erect penis.
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].
* He voluntarily dressed up as a woman, went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals and vice-versa, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public. When Bob learned of Chris's antics, his immediate response was to call him a "fag".
* On 29 April 2012, Chris 'reveals' that the gay camp experience story he made up as [[JenkinsJinkies]] was a fake. Aside from the fact that [[Naive|absolutely nobody fell for this at all]], it does leave this question: Out of all of the stories that Chris could have made up under a fake identity, why did he go with one where he gets sodomized at [[Pedofork|seven]]?
* [[It's not that cold]] shows Chris infamously saying, "Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me." Take note that Chris is dressed in a mini-skirt and hikes it up to reveal his grotesque man ass at the camera, indicating that he'd like to be taken from behind, all in an attempt to re-enact ''The Silence of the Lambs''.
* Whenever anyone calls Chris out on his [[Women's rights|objectification of women's bodies]], he is always quick to back-pedal and say he appreciates women more for their personalities, unaware that personalities are the key reason for relationships between gay men and their female friends.
* Chris created a modified version of the song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''The Boondocks'' called "Don't Trust Any Homos Over There". However, the character who sings the original song is Uncle Ruckus, a self-loathing black man. This makes Chris look like a self-loathing homosexual.
* The fact that he thinks that ''staring at a poster'' will keep himself straight implies he has homosexual thoughts and fantasies that he wants to keep in check. The irony of the fact that he thinks staring hard enough at a poster of Sailor Moon, a gay icon, will magically suppress these homoerotic urges is lost on him.
* After [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] became Chris's equal and opposite as the result of the latter's brief immersion in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], he turned openly gay. One would think that this logically means Chris is straight, except for the fact that it's made clear that the two differ only in their openness, not their homosexuality.
* Chris posted an absurd "riddle" on [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Facebook]] containing random pictures, containing Mark Cuban, lemon cake, Delaware Blue Hens and the Sphinx. It's worth noting that [http://i.imgur.com/oKAtnAo.jpg Mark Cuban] is gay, lemon cake is often dyed rainbow in [http://i.imgur.com/qy1U14g.jpggay pride festivals], Delaware is one of the only states to uphold [http://i.imgur.com/YVAnfl9.jpg gay marriage], hens often exhibit homosexuality, and there's a game called [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gay%20chicken Gay Chicken], and the sphinx is also a breed of cat. A breed of cat that's [http://i.imgur.com/uBwdEdz.jpg really gay].
* In 2012, Chris signed in the [[CWCki Forums]] as "paintingatree". The term "Painting The Tree" is [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Painting%20the%20tree act slang for oral sex], which may refer to his duck.
* Chris posted a picture on [[Facebook#I_got_new_shoes|Facebook]] showing his new shoes. Note the gay pink laces and it looks like sneakers worn for women.
* Chris posted a pointless picture on [[Facebook#One Eyebrow|Facebook]], showing his eyebrow. Note that it's '''eyebrow''' and not '''eyebrows''', as [http://www.discodamaged.com/2010/12/lesbians-to-grown-on-eyebrow.html lesbians are proposing to grow one eyebrow on Decembrow].
* Chris pierced his right ear (twice), a common, albeit dated, code for homosexuality--"Left ear buccaneer, right ear queer."
* Chris wrote a [[February_2014_Facebook_Posts#Tabitha_St._Germaine|Facebook post]] comparing Tabitha St. Germain, the voice actress of Rarity from ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'' (among many others), to gay icon Judy Garland.
* Attempting to prove that [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] is a separate identity, Chris favorited and commented on a number of gay [[pedofork]] [[anime]]s on [[YouTube]].<ref>[[:File:Recent Activity.jpg]]</ref>
* In his August 2014 Facebook posts, Chris identified himself as a 'tranny' and a 'Ho Mo' ''(for the ladies, [[Chris_and_English|according to him]])'', placed a marriage equality support symbol on his page's banner, and spoke about women being "supportive" of his choices. He's blissfully unaware (or ''outright doesn't care'') that all of this makes him look like he's come out of the closet. Not to mention, he calls himself a derogatory term for transsexuals.
* He [[October_2014_Facebook_Posts#Chris_hits_up_a_gay_bar_.28seriously.29|went to a gay bar on Halloween 2014]].
* He is a member of the local [https://www.facebook.com/groups/eventsatimpuslegsc gay club] on facebook.
* He once glitterbombed Sega. Glitterbombing was started by the gay community as a way to protest opponents of gay marriage.
* His [[26 December 2014|can of mace]] is colored pink.
* He posted a story on [[Facebook]] about him as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] having sex with [[Magi-chan]] and getting pregnant.
* The tote bag he used at [[OmegaCon]] had a marriage equality logo and the words "TOTES GAY" written in bold capitals on it.
* In his [[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas]] video, his song mentions how his true love had given him "drag kings, and the transmales that have "not" have the operation change yet".

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[Heather Iglesias]]
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
* [[Tomgirl]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]