Son-Chu

2017-12-08T02:45:14Z

Reeltub: /* Current status */

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[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' was a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that [[Chris]] drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], and then put ''that'' on [[Craigslist]]. It was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref> As of [[September 2014]], Chris drives a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]].

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother pays for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

==Backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref>, both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref>. Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.

==Vanity plate==
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]
[[File:Sonicar.jpg|thumb|Vanity plate on the new Focus.]]
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C," as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" has been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

==Car trouble==
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.

About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.

During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.

==Mechanical issues==
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it.
{{-}}

==Current status==
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." As of 24 September, Chris has purchased a used Ford Focus, implying that said Cadillac Seville may have been sold.

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|The most recently taken image of Son-Chu, showing its current bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the new Son-Chu is notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>March 2017 Facebook Posts</ref>.

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
File:IMG_5312.JPG|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].
File:Son-Chu at Walmart, 2 June '17.jpeg|The Focus at the [[Mal-Wart]] Region, [[June 2017]]. Taking up a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicapped]] spot, of course.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

CWCki - User contributions [en]

Son-Chu