CWCki - User contributions [en]

Saga

2013-10-06T23:39:49Z

ReiDemon: Undo revision 167802 by 14recinez (talk): It's not even well-written.

[[Image:Timeline.png|thumb|right]]
{{Quote|I've had online relationships in my past; most of which were good, but all of them ended not so good for me.|Chris makes the understatement of the century<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>}}
A '''saga''' (from the Old Norse ''sögur'') is an overall story arc of events.

In the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the term is used to describe an on-going trolling effort or other similar series of events that produces considerable drama over a period of time. Sometimes taking place over the course of months, other times taking place over the course of a few weeks. Since he was discovered online and found to have many hot buttons that made him susceptible to entrapment, Chris has been perpetually embroiled in some saga or other. More often than not, he is trapped in more than one saga at a time or found to be quickly jumping from the end of one to the beginning of the next. The term first came into widespread use with the [[Miyamoto Saga]] and has since been used to describe the overall events in a time period (similar to the term "dynasty").

The exact origin of the term "saga" being used to refer to these events in Chris's life is, as of yet, unknown. However, some argue that the usage may have originated with [[Vivian Gee]]'s [[Audiobook|audiobook]] project.

==List of Sagas==

===Megan Saga (''Summer 2005 - 18 March 2008'')===
[[Image:Megansagaheader.jpg]]

{{main|Megan Schroeder}}

The first and longest saga in the story of Christian Weston Chandler. From 2005 to 18 March 2008, this told the story of Chris and his longest and closest relationship with a girl, Megan Schroeder, leading into Chris's first encounter with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and Megan discovering the depths of Chris's madness. It began with a chance meeting at a ''[[Pokémon]] TCG'' League meeting at [[The GAMe PLACe]], which progressed into inappropriate touching and ended with shocking [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|hand-drawn pornography]] that was an embarrassment for all parties involved...excluding Chris.

===Adam Stackhouse Saga (''June 2007 - 4 August 2007'')===
[[Image:Adamsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]''

In June 2007, Chris entered and attempted to win a contest in order to win Megan's heart, only to be <s>cockblocked</s> beaten by a much superior entry made by Adam Stackhouse. The saga resulted in [[CWC is Angry|madman]]-style threats and [[PaRappa_contest#Aftermath|several angry e-mails and posts to contest organizers]]. Chris would rage for quite some time before deciding enough was enough. This was also the last time a saga was inadvertently caused by an unsuspecting member of the public. From this time on, [[trolls]] would control the content.

===ED Saga (''November 2007 - 14 April 2011'')===
[[Image:Edsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]''

In November 2007, [[trolls]] would discover Chris and put up the "Chris-chan" page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris would initially think that they just got information wrong, but as time would go on, Chris would reveal the true depths of his insanity, destroying his friendship with Megan Schroeder and becoming the epic lolcow we know him to be. Were it not for this article showing how susceptible he was to trolling and how [[Autism|divinely retarded]] he could be, Chris may have just been another dumbass with no life, and probably would have been more or less forgotten by now. To this day, ED remains a thorn in his side which he must constantly address to those new to his life. Further to this, he still maintains they are out to do him harm.

===Blanca Saga (''August 2008 - 21 October 2008'')===
[[Image:Blancasaga.jpg]]

{{main|Blanca Weiss}}

Around August 2008, Chris would meet Blanca Weiss, making her his first Internet sweetheart. Aside from being the first sweetheart, she also proved how [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|tenacious and strange]] Chris could be about relationships, revealing several [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|quirks and oddities that he felt were somehow appropriate to mention]] to someone he believed loved him. It also showed how useless any [[White knight|white knighting]] efforts could be. In the span of two months, Blanca (actually three trolls working in tandem) would release the infamous pictures of Chris naked, then obtain and destroy Chris's [[Medallion of Fail|medallions]].

===Jimmy Hill Saga (''mid/late 2008'')===
[[Image:Jimmyhillsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

At the same time Chris was dealing with Blanca, he was hit with another troll attack as he believed that a man known as Jimmy Hill was using the Sonichu name and character to make money off of him in Europe. The thought of someone making money from his true and original creation led him to [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|stress out and provide proof]] of the [[Copyright|infringement]]. Those attacks would end around the same time the Blanca Saga ended.

===Clyde Cash Saga ''(December 2008 - 2012 (however it might be still going on)''===
[[Image:Clydesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Clyde Cash}}

In an attempt to get back at Chris for his [[Ryan Cash|brother's suicide]], Clyde Cash would go on a months-long trolling spree, going to great lengths to get back at the autistic wonder. The saga would result in the revelation of a [[The Miscreants|top secret organization]] hellbent on preventing the manchild from losing his virginity. It only ended with the apparent death of its creator.

However, in [[September 2009]] Chris resumed his war against Clyde Cash after discovering that he and another supposed troll, [[Gregg Mays]], were one and the same person. In the process, he's made numerous videos attempting to blackmail the man, going so far as to mock a [[Twin Falling Towers|national tragedy]].

And so it continues to this date; a never-ending conflict between two mortal enemies...

===PandaHalo Saga (''mid/late 2008 - February 2009'')===
[[Image:Pandasaga.jpg]]

{{main|PandaHalo}}

When Chris realized Blanca was a troll, he would move on to PandaHalo as his new sweetheart. The saga came to a quick and abrupt end when she was found to be bearing the child of Clyde Cash, conceived through rape. Unsurprisingly, Chris would quickly abandon Panda and she would (presumably) die in the Australian brushfires, despite living miles away from the incident. She would end up giving trolls the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and [[Slideshow]].

===Miyamoto Saga (''January 2009 - 10 February 2009'')===
[[Image:Miyamotosaga.jpg]]

{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}

In the beginning of January 2009, Chris would be confronted by <s>[[Clyde Cash|a troll]]</s> [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], who would attempt to try to make his ''Sonichu'' game fantasy a reality. Chris's ineptitude and inability to do...well...anything other than be a lazy fuck resulted in horrible delays and stalls to the project's advancement. In the end, [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] shut down the entire project with a scathing letter. This trolling encounter would have Chris give trolls a PowerPoint project that talked in great length about [[Chris and his ego|himself]]...and very little about his game.

===Julie Saga (''February 2009 - March 2009'')===
[[Image:Juliesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Julie}}

In February 2009 to early March 2009, Chris's latest sweetheart would be Julie, who was in actuality a young troll named [[BlueSpike]]. In this brief timeframe, BlueSpike would release the infamous [[sex tape]], force Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] mayor of [[CWCville]] and destroy his second medallion by forcing him to stick it up his ass. However, BlueSpike's total and utter control over Chris would lead to a schism between trolls, leading to the creation of the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and this very wiki.

===Ivy Saga (''March 2009 - July 2009'')===
[[Image:Ivysaga.jpg]]

{{main|Ivy}}

In March 2009, Chris would meet and fall in love with Ivy, his then-latest sweetheart. His crush towards Ivy would lead Chris to create three special comics and two music videos, a practical spurt of work that wouldn't be surpassed for awhile. The saga also revealed Chris at his [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|creepiest]] [[CWC's Message for Ivy|yet]], scarring many trolls and CWC-watchers. The saga also resulted in a [[CWC's ¨It's All Coming Back To Me¨|proposal of marriage]]. Despite the work spurt, the saga would come to an abrupt end thanks to a combination of troll interference from [[Joshua Martinez]] and interference from [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]], leading to Ivy's suicide.

===Liquid Chris Saga (''June 21, 2009 - 27 July 2011'')===
[[Image:Liquidsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Liquid Chris}}

In July 2009, the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler would come forth after the other Chris would reveal himself as a troll in one video. The other Chris, [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], would challenge Chris to a sing-off, with the TRUE and HONEST CWC proving himself the victor in the end. The appearance of this other Chris would pressure the other into churning out more comics than he had before, currently heading for the completion of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], something that many believed would never happen due to the interference of many trolls.

Later, Liquid would return to continue on his quest to get rid of this faker. In the process of this new entry to the saga, Ian and Chris would battle over the heart of Chris's true love, [[Kacey]]. In the end, the real Chris would win out and marry Kacey, leaving Ian to be butthurt. Liquid's YouTube account would eventually close on 27 July, 2011.

===CWCipedia Saga (''4 May 2009 – 26 June 2010'')===
[[Image:The CWCipedia Saga.jpg]]

{{main|CWCipedia}}

In early June 2009, Chris was given the CWCipedia, a wiki-styled web page, so that Chris can use it to upload his ''Sonichu'' comics, blog, and personal life safe from the trolls who instantly dive at his other web pages and hack them. It doubled as a source for the [[CWCki]] to draw many of Chris's latest failures from, making it his best friend and his worst enemy.

On 19 [[November 2009]], perhaps one of the greatest features the wiki introduced was the [[Mailbag]], in which a dump of all [[Fans|fan]] e-mails sent to the admin's address could be answered by Chris, for all to see. This feature provided insight into how Chris responds to trolls through e-mail about his views on, for example, homosexuality, GodJesus, autism, etc.

Since 23 November 2009, advertisements linking to porn sites, gay rights organizations, information on Asperger's syndrome, and the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] took residence on the CWCipedia, paid for by trolls. Eventually, Alec, the creator of Asperchu, paid Jack Thaddeus to replace most, if not all, of the ads with ads for Asperpedia. Chris had [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|complained]] [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|repeatedly]] to the SysOp of the Wiki about these ads, which would have paid for the site until the end of 2010, pending negotiations.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu</ref> All of this had "stressed" Chris out to the point of uploading videos of himself screaming [[death threats]] upon the advertisers' heads, and creating a separate, stress-free, ad-free front page.

This saga would lead to the site being shut down twice in a row, both due to copyright infringement, and would lead to the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]] in the most humiliating way - death by exploding toilet.

The Asperpedia team would continue to vandalize and hijack CWCipedia in a variety of ways until it finally collapsed in May, and Chris finally abandoned the site after already making numerous claims that he'd quit the Internet forever. After Mao moved in to fill the void, he passed ownership to [[Alec]] and [[Vivian Gee]], wherein they took over the site and the rights to Sonichu to begin ''Sonichu'' Season 2, where ultimately, on 26 [[June 2010]], the entire site would be terminated along with the entirety of the original 110mb server.

===Asperchu Saga (''November 2009 - 30 August 2011'')===
[[Image:The Asperchu Saga.jpg]]

{{main|Asperchu}}

In late November 2009, an artist named Alec Benson Leary started a new series called ''Asperchu'', starring the titular Electric Asperger's Hedgehog Pokemon. Chris had spent most of December ignoring ''Asperchu'' and its popularity before finally exploding with rage, claiming the series as nothing more than fan fiction and a parody. The popularity of ''Asperchu'', combined with Chris's continuing downward spiral that is [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], has led many of Chris's fans to abandon ''Sonichu'' and go to ''Asperchu''.

Most of the saga has been spent with Chris raging at not just Alec, but also [[Evan]], Sean, and Asperpedia admin Mao over their usage of their characters and how they mock him. As well, Chris has been dealing with Evan over the usage of Simonla Rosechu, with Chris going so far as to deny reality and substitute it with his own.

In terms of productivity, it has given us ''Sonichu'' #10, which showcases Chris going all out in trying to get rid of everything he hates, including homosexuality and trolls. In that same book, Chris kills all four trolls involved in this saga as retaliation for making him kill Simonla Rosechu. Also, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|nine phone calls]] have been leaked. These phone calls show Alec attempting to get through to Chris and his way of thinking and Chris fighting tooth and nail not to change at all.

In the aftermath of the saga, Evan ceased his ''Simonchu'' comic, proud to have Simonla removed, Alec and Sean continued their respective comics, and Mao continues to poke and jab at Chris. And while the saga had for the most part died down, Asperpedia continued to harass its rival CWCipedia, either by placing new ads, vandalizing it, or shutting it down altogether. One of the post-trial ads even precipitated Chris's falling out with [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]].

Alec Benson Leary would later be [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|called out]] by Chris in 2011, and is identity was "revealed" as Christopher Paul Whitney, followed by Chris [[Chris and Health|sloppily devouring a cheap microwavable pizza]].

===Surfshack Tito Saga (''2 March 2010 - 10 August 2011'')===
[[Image:The Surfshack Tito Saga.jpg]]

{{Main|Surfshack Tito}}

Sometime in January 2010, Chris met and fell in love with a certain girl in real life, hoping she would be the one who'd end his streak of being a [[virgin with rage]]. On 9 March 2010, Chris would release a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' video of a stage based off a book he was helping write with his gal-pal...and release a name in the process. Dedicated trolls used the information to discover the gal-pal's identity, but decided to let the [[lulz]] spread naturally. The next day, however, a troll revealed the information to the gal-pal, codenamed [[The Wallflower]], and while one set of lulz was stopped, another one was set into motion.

The troll, calling himself Surfshack Tito, claimed responsibility for not only hacking his PSN accounts for the umpteenth time, but also stealing The Wallflower from Chris. Chris, in response, has threatened to go all out and seemingly try to murder Tito, threatening him with a [[pocket knife]], attacking him with [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racial slurs]], and flashing his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear]] in the process. At the same time, Chris has discovered and declared war on the CWCki, demanding that all pages involving himself, his friends and family be altered to suit his needs. In short order, Chris's attack on the CWCki fell utterly short.

The creativity here has been utterly stunted, especially after The Wallflower left him. He has gone on to blame his fans for wanting him to make more comics and compared them to the trolls that have tormented him. He has also vowed to leave the Internet forever, though he ended up reshowing his face 36 hours after his vow...

Echoes of this saga would be eventually heard in [[August 2011]] when, after announcing his glorious comeback to the Internet, Chris claimed to have discovered the true identity of Tito and tried to blackmail him using this information. Tito eventually [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don#Tito's official response|gave in]] to his demands on 9 August, which Chris [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|later acknowledged and accepted]].

=== The GAMe PLACe Saga (''pre-2005 - April 2013'')===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe|Michael Snyder}}

For a long time, Chris had been visiting The GAMe PLACe on a regular basis. It was here that Chris would meet Megan herself, as well as [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]], two people who would deliver a number of intel over Chris during his time there. He also participated in the ''[[Pokemon TCG]]'' League, using his own poorly made decks. However, Chris was a pain to the store's manager, [[Michael Snyder]] and by August 2008, tired of Chris terrorizing various [[niggos|patrons]], yelling at children, bogarting the TV and being an all-round pain. Michael would finally ban Chris from the store, embarrassing him and his mother in the process. It wouldn't be the end, however.

On multiple occasions, Chris returned to the store despite Michael's insistence that he never come back. He tried emails, sneaking in, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|pleading]] on [[YouTube]], but nothing worked. The first time he attempted (unsuccessfully, of course) to lift his ban in person was with a prepared, [[Chris and remorse|faux-apologetic speech]]. When that failed, he stormed out angrily and called Michael a [[Chris and race|JEW]], then attempted to rally his "fanbase" and get them [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|to troll him]]. [[6 June 2010|The next occasion]] was much more disturbing. He claimed he was trying to take a picture of Michael for a dartboard, but was caught in the act and was chased in the parking lot. Nearly running over Michael and his daughter, eventually the [[Jerkops]] got involved, but they did not arrest him. Michael accused him of trying to take [[pedofork|pictures of his daughter]]. Whether it's true or not, it's [[Kacey|confirmed]] that Chris has stalker tendencies.

The saga was revived in October 2011, when Chris and [[Barb|his mother]] visited the GAMe PLACe, and [[28 October 2011|an incident occurred]]. Exact details of events remain unknown, but charges such as assaulting a law enforcement official and property damage of more than $1000 were brought. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and Reality|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They must also pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.

Being the longest saga to date, it's little wonder why [[Barb]] believes it's at the center of all the trolling.

Finally, On 4 [[April 2013]], Chris posted on [[Facebook]], ''"I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace."'' It remains to be seen whether he will follow through. However, it could be a ''geinus'' plan to lull [[Michael Snyder]] into a false sense of security. It appears, however the saga may be over for good. At least for now.

==Intermittent Sagas==

===The CWC Exile Saga (''20 March 2010 - 29 August 2010'')===

{{main|Rocky Shoemaker|Fridays After Five|Flipnote Hatena}}

After Chris lost The Wallflower and fought with Surfshack Tito, an outside force attempted to push Chris away from the Internet. No less than five times, Chris has boldly claimed that he has abandoned the Internet and smugly told his detractors that they should go outside and live their lives, advice Chris should have followed ''years'' ago. However, Chris still latched onto the Internet as much as he could, trying to find ways to sneak in without the force discovering him.

Trolls would end up discovering Chris dancing like a dying turkey at [[Fridays After Five]], then discover that he had set up shop at the [[Flipnote Hatena]], where he tried to spread his sick and twisted thoughts to younger, innocent people before being shut down. However, the thing that would finally bring Chris back to the Internet and end his exile would be [[The MovingForward videos|the destruction of his beloved Life Upgrade]]. At his own hands, no less!

==Post-exile==

===Jackie Saga (''April 5, 2010 - November 26, 2010'')===
[[Image:JackieSaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jackie}}

Following the fallout of The Wallflower incident, Chris pulled himself away from the Internet, only for him to meet and begin conversing to a woman named Jackie. Meeting her at [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]], the two began conversing through [[Jackie Emails|e-mails]], revealing the rationale in Chris's attempts to get back into The GAMe PLACe and showing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|he's still incredibly disturbing]]. However, Chris broke off his relationship with her after she attempted to get him to change his life for the better.

Around [[September 2010]], Jackie and Chris were confirmed to have attempted to try again with a relationship, with Chris creating [[100_2265|even]] [[ECV 00002|more]] [[Pregnant Act|disturbing]] [[Don'tPintheOop|videos]] in the process. A third party - [[Lars]] McNulty, Jackie's ex-boyfriend - stepped in by the end of September, prompting Chris to release several videos attacking his newfound enemy. Video updates became increasingly bizarre, but still occurred regularly until the end of [[October 2010|October]].

By [[November 2010|November]], the leaked correspondence showed that Jackie was getting increasing impatient as Chris kept failing to fulfill her requests, while Chris made up a lot of lame excuses for why he could not deliver on them, all while continuously begging Jackie to have sex with him. On November 26, Jackie would send Chris the latest in a string of e-mails in which she criticized him for his laziness and unwillingness when it came to pay a more active part in relationships, and how he, despite of this, kept begging her for sex. Chris stopped responding at this point, putting an end to the saga.

===[[Tomgirl Saga]] (''28 April 2011 - 6 September 2011'')===
[[Image:Cwctl.jpg]]

{{main|Tomgirl Saga|Tomgirl Pictures}}

In mid-2011, Chris's exile from the Internet continued, and his mental state deteriorated. Some leaked evidence of [[Wikipedia:Transvestitism|transvestitism]] surfaced in [[April 2011|April]], and later joined the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where his posts showed that Chris and sanity were only vague acquaintances. However, when Chris found out he was discovered on the forums, he decided to fight back by [[Calling Out]] various [[trolls]], demanding that they apologize and leave the Internet or they would have their information revealed and be trolled in return. He managed to drive away Surfshack Tito, before the saga was utterly derailed by the death of his father, [[Bob]].

==The Future==
If anything remains clear, it is that Chris is incapable of applying past events to current ones. Given this, it is likely that Chris will be enduring one saga or another until the day he dies.

==See also==
*''[[Excel Saga]]''

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: Sagas]]

Flipnote Hatena

2013-05-31T22:38:55Z

ReiDemon: Sigh.

{{Articleofthenow}}
'''Flipnote Studio''' was a free downloadable application for the [[Nintendo]] DSi. It allowed users to create both word and picture-based notes with the stylus, add sound, and put them together to create frame-by-frame flipbook-style animations. '''Flipnote Hatena''' was a website where users could upload and share their Flipnote creations, and other users could comment on them either by text, or by creating a flipnote.

In [[June 2010]], [[Chris]] was spotted at a [[Fridays After Five]] event in [[Charlottesville]]. Among some very disturbing behavior, Chris was seen sitting down and playing with his DSi for some time while at this event. It later came to light that, after [[June062010.MOV|leaving the internet forever]], he was now spending his time on Flipnote Hatena, drawing comments in reply to various Flipnotes. Being a retard, he helped [[Clyde_Cash|a valiant troll]] to find him by registering with his full name.

After a little more than two weeks of shameless self-promotion and sharing his creepy sex fantasies with the world, Chris got himself banned. Chris's account became active again on 24 July.

The service ended on 31 May 2013, with Flipnotes now no longer visible from either the official site or the application itself; despite this closure, mirrors of Chris's Flipnotes are still available on YouTube.

==Chris's Flipnote career==
[[File:FlipnoteSonichu.png|thumb|Futher proof that Sonichu will dominate every aspect of Chris's life until the day he dies.]]

Predictably, Chris's first contribution to the Flipnote community was a picture of [[Sonichu]], posted on 17 [[June 2010]]. Over the next two weeks, he added several more Flipnotes featuring a mixture of his trademarks: [[random-access humor]] and whining about the trolls.

Chris's Flipnotes freely swiped from various sources of "inspiration." He ripped off some other users' Flipnotes almost wholesale, and also plagiarized the [[1983]] animated ''[[Peanuts]]'' cartoon [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHDnc19mHv0I#t=00m58s "Sally at School"] to produce two of his shorts. He stole the dialogue from the first few minutes almost verbatim (the word "princess" is replaced with "[[Women's rights|sexy, beautiful woman]]" because Chris has [[Love Quest|a one-track mind]]) and used them in [[Videobooks|his crude animations]].

At the same time, he also posted a number of comments on other Flipnotes (excerpted below) and added a lot of stars on his own creations to give himself praise.

On 29 [[June 2010]], Chris first drew the attention of the site's administrators when they removed several of his rule-infringing flipnotes. For example, [[RomanticLabyrinth]] was likely taken down for being sexually explicit. Other Flipnotes were removed from the site for other reasons - Chris autographing many of his Flipnotes infringes their rule about sharing personal information, and several of his other Flipnotes [[random-access humor|infringed intellectual property rights]].

Over the next few days, Chris failed to get the message and repeatedly re-uploaded several of his deleted flipnotes. On the third version of [[RomanticLabyrinth]], Chris accused the [[trolls]] of trying to make him look [[homosexual]], and stubbornly tried to reupload the Flipnote to prove otherwise. The site's administrators ran out of patience on 2 [[July 2010]] and banned him.

Note that the moderators of the site were, by nature of their position, no doubt well aware of how trolling and various other forms of Internet harassment work. Despite what Chris would have you believe, they would never have punished him for what someone else did in his comments section. Unlike Chris, they didn't have an effectively infinite amount of time to dick around on the Internet, so they wouldn't take kindly to flag abuse, either. Someone didn't give him exactly what he wanted so he decided to go out of his way to flip his shit and get himself banned, without trying to be banned and without ever understanding the reasons for being banned, from yet another public venue that [[The GAMe PLACe|dozens]], [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|hundreds]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|thousands]], or [[YouTube|millions]] of people use every day without issue, proving once again that no one can troll Chris better than Chris trolls himself.

==Chris's Flipnotes return==
{{quote|After the week was over, and I was able to again access the Hatena from my DSi, I had previously unlinked my DSi from my past account and relinked it to a New account with a different name.|Chris, on [[Jackie E-mails 3|ban evasion]]}}

Showing once again that he never learns, on 24 July a number of Chris's Flipnotes reappeared, including the "tame" version of [[RomanticLabyrinth]]. This time, though, he disabled comments on all his submissions, perhaps working on the assumption that it was the comments from viewers (and not the content of his Flipnotes) that led to his original ban.

Within two days after Chris's return to the site, several of his Flipnotes disappeared from his account, including RomanticLabyrinth and others that had been deleted before for violating the TOS. He later reuploaded the deleted Flipnotes. After what felt like the ''sixth time'' of reuploading these animations, none of them were taken down. Either this was because the mods got tired of dealing with his bullshit, or because vigilantes had given up reporting them.

On 10 June, almost a year later, Chris made the [[3DS Flipnote]] complaining about how Nintendo wasnt making an update for the [[Wikipedia:Nintendo 3DS|3DS]] fast enough for his liking.

==Future==
On 13 March 2013, it was announced that the DSi incarnation of Flipnote Hatena would be shut down on 31 May, in favor of an upcoming incarnation for the Nintendo 3DS, called FlipnoteStudio3D. Owing to Chris's prior interest in the application and his current ownership of a 3DS, it is likely that he will join the new community, and that the trolls will quickly follow his every move there.

Of particular note is that while the ordinary version of FlipnoteStudio3D is free, a version that allows one to view creations from all over the globe will cost a monthly fee; owing to Chris's [[Chris and Money|spending habits]], it is possible he will be seen using the worldwide version.

==Chris's Flipnotes==
:''Main Article: [[List of Flipnotes]]''

==Chris's comments==
It is notable that Chris's comments on Flipnote Hatena, much like his comments elsewhere on the [[Internet]], are self-centered and devoid of any follow-up.

<center><gallery>
File:Flipnote Comment-Boo.png|"Boo!" <ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/528A60A031CE1B4A@DSi/movie/CE1B4A_0913C2B460C58_000</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-Louder.png|"Could you make the voice louder + easier to comprehend, please?"<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/5FC3E3901E322457@DSi/movie/322457_090A9EC784BF8_004</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-My Trolls.png|"My Trolls did that to my [[:Category:Chris's websites|past websites]] too. I felt [[CWC is Sad|hurt deeply]] too."<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09B980C6E6C6C_008</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-Raised Eyebrow.png| "C.W.C"<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/564B6A901E271928@DSi/movie/271928_09116B059D18A_000</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-Cow.png|Some other retarded comment about a [[RandomSong1|cow]]<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/5CBA58B0A0E99197@DSi/movie/E99197_09C227C76EF8A_013</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 1.png|You're singing [[Song of Christian|my song]]. I was [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|Internet Famous]]... HUGE MISTAKE! Right now, I have removed Most Every... thing about myself...<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 2.png|...from the internet. Now there is only [[Honest Content|FALSE info]] on me that THEY have crafted and spread to Bad-Rep me.
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 3.png|And worse they've found me in R. Life to catch footage of me for their [[Laughs Under Lucricities|gross, uncool amusement]].
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 4.png|I WANT TO GO BACK TO A NORMAL REAL LIFE [[Internet#Attempts_to_leave_the_Internet|OFF THE FRIGGIN' INTERNET!!!]]
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 5.png|AND I WANT MY "REP" CLEAN OF THIER [sic] CRAP! DO you have any advice to help me clear their crap off me?<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016</ref>
File:HippoHeadComment.png|Response to comment in "Hippo on your head"<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D7F00037B5A_000#5348F770A0A92AE8-c11540466809528558685</ref>
File:Diamon1.png|
File:Diamon2.png|
File:Diamon3.png|
File:Flipbookhonorroll.png|True words of [[honor roll|geinus]]
File:Flipnotegood.png|If Chris says you're a good artist, you must be really good!
File:Flipnotevoice.png|Not a [[pedofork]]!
File:CWCcomment1.gif|[http://flipnote.hatena.com/576180F0F36A6A8B@DSi/movie/6A6A8B_09D6FA90869AD_000 "That was Sweeet.] I can tell you have a [[Bubbles|bubbly]] personality from your style. Your [[JERK|Boyfriend]] is lucky to...
File:CWCcomment2.gif|[http://flipnote.hatena.com/576180F0F36A6A8B@DSi/movie/6A6A8B_09D6FA90869AD_000 ...to have a] [[gal-pal|gal]] like you. :) Stay Sweet & Safe, Christian Weston Chandler. PS: Thanks for Faving me <strike>something</strike> back.
File:Flipnoteninja.png|
File:11542841929539631934 o.gif|Not a quid-pro-quo!<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/567831A059A36B1E@DSi/movie/A36B1E_09DD2199440AE_000</ref>
</gallery></center>

Comment left on other videos without a picture:

*"Why can't I find THIS FlipNote on my DSi, even through YOUR Profile's Posted F.N. pages? I want to download it; it IS funny. [:)]" (In response to a flipnote that is completely ripped off from ''[[Family Guy]]''.)

==Chris's Favorites==
What Chris favorited should not come as a surprise. In addition to the obligatory ''[[Sonic]]'', ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''[[Family Guy]]'' flipnotes, Chris favorited a number of [[gal-pal|female-drawn]] animations, done in [[anime]]-like styling and done with a particularly ''shoujo-ai''/''yuri'' ([[homos|lesbian]], for those not into animu) flavor.

==Sockpuppets==
Chris apparently registered several sockpuppet accounts to favorite himself and give high ratings. For example, in the space of a few days, [[RomanticLabyrinth]] attained over 10,000 stars. This is reminiscent of his campaign to cheat in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], in which he freely admitted to voting for himself multiple times.

Suspected sockpuppets included: [http://flipnote.hatena.com/EnterGodmode/following EnterGodmode], [http://flipnote.hatena.com/sonichuwulf/following Sonichuwulf], and [http://flipnote.hatena.com/sonichu4ever/following Sonichu4ever].

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/ Chris's Flipnote Hatena profile]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/Sonichu/comments Flipnotes Chris left comments on]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/Sonichu/following Flipnotes from creators Chris is following]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/Sonichu/favorites Flipnotes Chris starred as favorites]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/ch/11543000155817181722 The official Sonichu Flipnote Channel.]

[[Category:Flipnote Hatena]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Websites]]

For Julie's Eyes Only

2013-05-01T16:35:41Z

ReiDemon: Removing general unlulzy nonsense.

{{honest}}
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|right|JULAY!]]</div>

 
[[Image:Blowupdoll.gif|center]]

{{protip|"JULLLAAAY" is an ancient meme. Only faggots comment on Chris related videos with any variant of "JULLAAAAAAAY". Even bigger faggots are people who think it's funny to PM and/or e-mail Chris with "JULLLAAAAAAAAAY." The biggest faggots are those who think it's funny to call Chris's house and scream "JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAY".}}

On 20 [[February 2009]], the closest thing [[Christian Weston Chandler]] will ever have to a sex tape was leaked to the Internet. The video file '''For Julies Eyes Only.MP4''' consists of nearly eight minutes of Chris, completely nude except for his socks, making love to [[Kimmi|an inflatable sex doll]]. The sex tape was soon uploaded to SlutLoad where it has received over 3.2 million views.

==Summary==
{{quote|JULAAAAAAY!!!! JULAAAAAAY!!!! |Chris while humping Kimmi.}}
{{quote|You take that like a good, bad girl!|Also while humping Kimmi.}}
{{quote|I'm ready to cum!!|Again, while humping Kimmi.}}

'''0:00-0:05''' [''Chris sits cross-legged on his bed, holding Kimmi up as though it were a naked girl standing before him, says "Hey, Julie," and glances at her.'']

'''0:06-0:10''' [''He lies back as he pulls the doll into position over his [[duck]].''] "I love you, Julie..."

'''0:11-0:28''' [''He grips the doll, possibly trying to finger its asshole. He seems confused as to how to effectively copulate with this device.'']

'''0:29-0:44''' [''Our hero abandons all pretense and bends the doll at an unnatural angle (with its upper body pointed straight up and its legs pointed straight out behind it), grapevining its legs with his own and pounding it diligently. Its asshole is spread wide in full view of the camera.'']

'''0:45-0:48''' In a satisfied tone, he sighs "Mmm... Julie..." A moment later, sounding surprised by her passion, he exclaims "''Julieee!''"

'''0:49-1:25''' [''Quiet, uneventful thrusting. Chris seems to have a determined look on his face, as though he is focused on servicing his vinyl lover.'']

'''1:26-1:32''' [''A loud snap can be heard, which seems to catch Chris's attention. He lifts the doll up and examines his crotch, then reaches over to pause the recording. In an email, he tells Julie that his condom had broke so he had to put on another one.']

'''1:33-1:52''' [''Chris resumes filming and humping.'']

'''1:53-2:06''' [''He shifts to a sort of scissor position, with Kimmi "straddling" his right thigh. Chris keeps one hand planted on its "breast".'']

'''2:07-2:08''' "Mmm... Julie! Julieeee!"

'''2:09-2:28''' [''More scissoring.'']

'''2:28-2:31''' "Yesss, Julie... Julie! Mmmm..."

'''2:32-2:49''' [''Chris briefly tries to stick several fingers into Kimmi's ass before rolling over onto his side. His ass is now in full view as it thrusts and quivers against the love doll.'']

'''2:50-2:51''' "You like that, don't you, Julie?"

'''2:52-3:13''' [''More ass-thrusting.'']

'''3:14-3:20''' "Come on, Julie... [unintelligible] take that cock... Mmm, Julie!"

'''3:21-3:39''' [''Chris picks up speed...'']

'''3:40-3:43''' [''Chris puts his right leg over the doll and continues thrusting.'']

'''3:44-3:47''' "Oh, Julie... Julie!"

'''3:47-4:05''' [''More thrusting.'']

'''4:06-4:08''' [''Two loud snaps can be heard as Chris takes his leg off the doll.'']

'''4:25-4:30''' [''Chris now sits on the bed and open his legs, putting the blow-up doll over his body. The scene cuts.'']

'''4:31-4:40''' [''Filming resumes. Chris is seated cross-legged in the bed, much like the first scene. He proceeds to hump the doll.'']

'''4:41-4:50''' [''Chris opens his legs and humps some more.''] "Julie... Yes, Julie... You take that like a good—BAD girl!"

'''5:00-5:21''' [''Chris now is humping the doll quickly. His face is extremely red.'']

'''5:22-5:23''' "Hnmm..."

'''5:24-5:25''' [''Chris cuts the film and resumes the same scene, still humping the doll while seated.'']

'''5:33-5:44''' [''Chris now starts to hump the doll on his knees.'']

'''5:45-5:53''' [''Chris now straddles the doll face-down, thrusting like a rabbit.'']

'''5:54-6:04''' [''Chris holds the doll's boobies and starts to "ride" Kimmi.'']

'''6:05-6:09''' "Oh, Julie... JULIE!! JULIE!!!"

'''6:23-6:40''' "Ju— Yeah... Julie! Julie! Hnmph...hnm... Hnmph...uhh...uhh...uh..."

'''6:47-7:09''' "Hnm, ah, yeah, JULIE! I'm— ah, I'm ready to CUUUM!!! JULIE! JULAY! JULAY! JULIEEE! Julie... HNMPH!" [''More moaning.'']

'''7:10-7:24''' "AAAAUUUUGHHHHAAAHNNN!!!" [''More moaning.'']

'''7:25-7:40''' [''Chris suffocates the doll with his weight by lying over her. He thrusts a couple of times and turns off the camera.''] "Julie, thank you."

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan wants it
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-0JMSHgx1DU}}
| stardate = 25 [[September 2008]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| type = Remix
}}

==Postcards==
[[Image:Postcard_from_Ebaums.jpg|thumb|Greetings to the Chandler family!]]
Postcards were sent direct to [[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] by an anonymous troll in early March. His family's reaction is unknown, except that his [[PSEye]] was briefly taken away.

==See also==
* [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]
* [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David]]

==External links==
* [http://www.slutload.com/watch/w40vYGuWP3X/Chris-Chan-Sextape.html Watch it here!]
* [http://www.efukt.com/2412_Who_The_Fuck_Is_Julie?.html Or watch it here!]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 18 February 2009]]|nextlink=[[CWC Update 4 March 2009]]|}}
{{LeakedVideos}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, February 2009| 2009-02-20]]
[[Category: Julie saga videos| 2009-02-20]]
[[Category:Certain videos of the naughty nature| 2009-02-20]]

Flipnote Hatena

2013-04-25T18:18:18Z

ReiDemon: Yeah, this edit is terrible, but the older section was so awful, I figured basically anything would be better.

{{Articleofthenow}}
'''Flipnote Studio''' is a free downloadable application for the [[Nintendo]] DSi. It allows users to create both word and picture-based notes with the stylus, add sound, and put them together to create frame-by-frame flipbook-style animations. '''Flipnote Hatena''' is a website where users can upload and share their Flipnote creations, and other users can comment on them either by text, or by creating a flipnote.

In [[June 2010]], [[Chris]] was spotted at a [[Fridays After Five]] event in [[Charlottesville]]. Among some very disturbing behavior, Chris was seen sitting down and playing with his DSi for some time while at this event. It later came to light that, after [[June062010.MOV|leaving the internet forever]], he was now spending his time on Flipnote Hatena, drawing comments in reply to various Flipnotes. Being a retard, he helped [[Clyde_Cash|a valiant troll]] to find him by registering with his full name.

After a little more than two weeks of shameless self-promotion and sharing his creepy sex fantasies with the world, Chris got himself banned. Chris's account became active again on 24 July.

==Chris's Flipnote career==
[[File:FlipnoteSonichu.png|thumb|Futher proof that Sonichu will dominate every aspect of Chris's life until the day he dies.]]

Predictably, Chris's first contribution to the Flipnote community was a picture of [[Sonichu]], posted on 17 [[June 2010]]. Over the next two weeks, he added several more Flipnotes featuring a mixture of his trademarks: [[random-access humor]] and whining about the trolls.

Chris's Flipnotes swipe freely from various sources of "inspiration." He ripped off some other users' Flipnotes almost wholesale, and also plagiarized the [[1983]] animated ''[[Peanuts]]'' cartoon [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHDnc19mHv0I#t=00m58s "Sally at School"] to produce two of his shorts. He stole the dialogue from the first few minutes almost verbatim (the word "princess" is replaced with "[[Women's rights|sexy, beautiful woman]]" because Chris has [[Love Quest|a one-track mind]]) and used them in [[Videobooks|his crude animations]].

At the same time, he also posted a number of comments on other Flipnotes (excerpted below) and added a lot of stars on his own creations to give himself praise.

On 29 [[June 2010]], Chris first drew the attention of the site's administrators when they removed several of his rule-infringing flipnotes. For example, [[RomanticLabyrinth]] was likely taken down for being sexually explicit. Other Flipnotes were removed from the site for other reasons - Chris autographing many of his Flipnotes infringes their rule about sharing personal information, and several of his other Flipnotes [[random-access humor|infringed intellectual property rights]].

Over the next few days, Chris failed to get the message and repeatedly re-uploaded several of his deleted flipnotes. On the third version of [[RomanticLabyrinth]], Chris accused the [[trolls]] of trying to make him look [[homosexual]], and stubbornly tried to reupload the Flipnote to prove otherwise. The site's administrators ran out of patience on 2 [[July 2010]] and banned him.

Note that the moderators of the site are, by nature of their position, no doubt well aware of how trolling and various other forms of Internet harassment work. Despite what Chris would have you believe, they would never have punished him for what someone else did in his comments section. Unlike Chris, they don't have an effectively infinite amount of time to dick around on the Internet, so they don't take kindly to flag abuse, either. Someone didn't give him exactly what he wanted so he decided to go out of his way to flip his shit and get himself banned, without trying to be banned and without ever understanding the reasons for being banned, from yet another public venue that [[The GAMe PLACe|dozens]], [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|hundreds]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|thousands]], or [[YouTube|millions]] of people use every day without issue, proving once again that no one can troll Chris better than Chris trolls himself.

==Chris's Flipnotes return==
{{quote|After the week was over, and I was able to again access the Hatena from my DSi, I had previously unlinked my DSi from my past account and relinked it to a New account with a different name.|Chris, on [[Jackie E-mails 3|ban evasion]]}}

Showing once again that he never learns, on 24 July a number of Chris's Flipnotes reappeared, including the "tame" version of [[RomanticLabyrinth]]. This time, though, he disabled comments on all his submissions, perhaps working on the assumption that it was the comments from viewers (and not the content of his Flipnotes) that led to his original ban.

Within two days after Chris's return to the site, several of his Flipnotes disappeared from his account, including RomanticLabyrinth and others that had been deleted before for violating the TOS. He later reuploaded the deleted Flipnotes. Currently, it seems like that after the ''sixth time'' reuploading these animations, none of them are being taken down. Either this is because the mods have tired of dealing with his bullshit, or because vigilantes have given up reporting them.

On 10 June, almost a year later, Chris made the [[3DS Flipnote]] complaining about how Nintendo isn't making an update for the [[Wikipedia:Nintendo 3DS|3DS]] fast enough for his liking.

==Future==
On 13 March 2013, it was announced that the DSi incarnation of Flipnote Hatena would be shut down on 31 May, in favor of an upcoming incarnation for the Nintendo 3DS; owing to Chris's prior interest in the application and his current ownership of a 3DS, it is likely that he will join the new community, and that the trolls will quickly follow his every move there.

Of particular note is that while the ordinary version of the 3DS's Flipnote Hatena is free, a version that allows one to view creations from all over the globe will cost a monthly fee; owing to Chris's [[Chris and Money|spending habits]], it is possible he will be seen using the worldwide version.

==Chris's Flipnotes==
:''Main Article: [[List of Flipnotes]]''

==Chris's comments==
It is notable that Chris's comments on Flipnote Hatena, much like his comments elsewhere on the [[Internet]], are self-centered and devoid of any follow-up.

<center><gallery>
File:Flipnote Comment-Boo.png|"Boo!" <ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/528A60A031CE1B4A@DSi/movie/CE1B4A_0913C2B460C58_000</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-Louder.png|"Could you make the voice louder + easier to comprehend, please?"<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/5FC3E3901E322457@DSi/movie/322457_090A9EC784BF8_004</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-My Trolls.png|"My Trolls did that to my [[:Category:Chris's websites|past websites]] too. I felt [[CWC is Sad|hurt deeply]] too."<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09B980C6E6C6C_008</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-Raised Eyebrow.png| "C.W.C"<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/564B6A901E271928@DSi/movie/271928_09116B059D18A_000</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-Cow.png|Some other retarded comment about a [[RandomSong1|cow]]<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/5CBA58B0A0E99197@DSi/movie/E99197_09C227C76EF8A_013</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 1.png|You're singing [[Song of Christian|my song]]. I was [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|Internet Famous]]... HUGE MISTAKE! Right now, I have removed Most Every... thing about myself...<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 2.png|...from the internet. Now there is only [[Honest Content|FALSE info]] on me that THEY have crafted and spread to Bad-Rep me.
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 3.png|And worse they've found me in R. Life to catch footage of me for their [[Laughs Under Lucricities|gross, uncool amusement]].
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 4.png|I WANT TO GO BACK TO A NORMAL REAL LIFE [[Internet#Attempts_to_leave_the_Internet|OFF THE FRIGGIN' INTERNET!!!]]
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 5.png|AND I WANT MY "REP" CLEAN OF THIER [sic] CRAP! DO you have any advice to help me clear their crap off me?<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016</ref>
File:HippoHeadComment.png|Response to comment in "Hippo on your head"<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D7F00037B5A_000#5348F770A0A92AE8-c11540466809528558685</ref>
File:Diamon1.png|
File:Diamon2.png|
File:Diamon3.png|
File:Flipbookhonorroll.png|True words of [[honor roll|geinus]]
File:Flipnotegood.png|If Chris says you're a good artist, you must be really good!
File:Flipnotevoice.png|Not a [[pedofork]]!
File:CWCcomment1.gif|[http://flipnote.hatena.com/576180F0F36A6A8B@DSi/movie/6A6A8B_09D6FA90869AD_000 "That was Sweeet.] I can tell you have a [[Bubbles|bubbly]] personality from your style. Your [[JERK|Boyfriend]] is lucky to...
File:CWCcomment2.gif|[http://flipnote.hatena.com/576180F0F36A6A8B@DSi/movie/6A6A8B_09D6FA90869AD_000 ...to have a] [[gal-pal|gal]] like you. :) Stay Sweet & Safe, Christian Weston Chandler. PS: Thanks for Faving me <strike>something</strike> back.
File:Flipnoteninja.png|
File:11542841929539631934 o.gif|Not a quid-pro-quo!<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/567831A059A36B1E@DSi/movie/A36B1E_09DD2199440AE_000</ref>
</gallery></center>

Comment left on other videos without a picture:

*"Why can't I find THIS FlipNote on my DSi, even through YOUR Profile's Posted F.N. pages? I want to download it; it IS funny. [:)]" (In response to a flipnote that is completely ripped off from ''[[Family Guy]]''.)

==Chris's Favorites==
What Chris has favorited should not come as a surprise. In addition to the obligatory ''[[Sonic]]'', ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''[[Family Guy]]'' flipnotes, Chris has favorited a number of [[gal-pal|female-drawn]] animations, done in [[anime]]-like styling and done with a particularly ''shoujo-ai''/''yuri'' ([[homos|lesbian]], for those not into animu) flavor.

==Sockpuppets==
Chris apparently registered several sockpuppet accounts to favorite himself and give high ratings. For example, in the space of a few days, [[RomanticLabyrinth]] attained over 10,000 stars. This is reminiscent of his campaign to cheat in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], in which he freely admitted to voting for himself multiple times.

Suspected sockpuppets include: [http://flipnote.hatena.com/EnterGodmode/following EnterGodmode], [http://flipnote.hatena.com/sonichuwulf/following Sonichuwulf], and [http://flipnote.hatena.com/sonichu4ever/following Sonichu4ever].

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/ Chris's Flipnote Hatena profile]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/Sonichu/comments Flipnotes Chris left comments on]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/Sonichu/following Flipnotes from creators Chris is following]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/Sonichu/favorites Flipnotes Chris starred as favorites]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/ch/11543000155817181722 The official Sonichu Flipnote Channel.]

[[Category:Flipnote Hatena]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Websites]]

The Eye of Judgment

2013-01-18T23:39:01Z

ReiDemon: /* Tournament */ Tense fix, and removing contractions.

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Eye of Judgment, The}}

[[Image:The-eye-of-judgement.jpg|thumb|It's not a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] rip off.]]

'''''The Eye of Judgment''''' is a [[collectible card game]] developed by [[Sony]] for the [[PS3]] and the only reason [[Chris]] apologized to [[The GAMe PLACe]].

==Tournament==
In his [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|March 18th]] video, Chris mentioned he would play in The Eye of Judgment: The Dioskuri Tournament, with the hopes of attaining a spot in the top 100 in order to win 3 promo cards. Considering he was still banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] (which he said was the only place he could buy cards from), it is very likely that he only had the cards that the game came with, thus limiting his performance. It can be assumed from [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|past competitions]] that Chris expected to win the competition, although it is unknown if Chris ever won the competition, won the cards, or even participated, as he never brought up the tournament again.

==Custom cards==
[[Image:CWCEOJ.jpg|thumb|It's great!]]

In [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding Out For a Hero]], Chris apparently decided [[sweetheart]]s just love it when you confess your love to them by talking about your hobbies, and showed his amazing custom ''Eye of Judgment'' cards. We now know that when Chris enters epic high fantasy dimensions, [[Monty Python|there are those who call him...]] "Christian C.", the Hero of the [[CWCville]] Empire, "[[JERKS|Add 8 to his attack if his target is MALE]]".

Given that the cards work by being scanned by the [[PSEye]], it's unknown how he expects these things to work. He may have printed new names and descriptions over patterns for existing cards, as he did with ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' cards. There's actually a chance that the cards ''actually work'', as Wikipedia claims that due to the shit-tastic image recognition technology the game uses, even hand-drawn copies of existing cards work (though given Chris's absolute lack of anything resembling talent in the realm of [[Chris and art|hand artery]], this remains quite unlikely). Most likely, they don't work, and he pretends they do.

It is still possible to play the game IRL without the use of the Playstation 3, but even in that case his cards (like all his [[Wall of Originals|custom abominations]]) are horribly unbalanced and [[rainbow|several shades of retarded]].

==See also==
*[[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:The Eye of Judgment|''The Eye of Judgment'' Wikipedia article]]

[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

December 2012

2013-01-10T20:12:35Z

ReiDemon: Fixing address.

'''December [[2012]]''' was the final month of [[Chris]]'s least active year since his discovery. It was also Chris's second [[Christmas|C-Mas]] without [[Bob|his father]]. With him making it past this month without returning to [[YouTube]], 2012 officially has the distinction of being the first year since trolling began that Chris hasn't uploaded a single [[List of videos|video]].

==Events==
*20 December - Chris posts a RapidShare link of the soundtrack from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon, which [[Bob Chandler|his father]] both hosted and performed in. It can still be found at the original upload link, [http://rapidshare.com/files/3812165045/1990%20WTJU%20Jazz%20Marathon.zip here]. (Warning! This file is 845MB)
*25 December - To the surprise of no one, Santa Claus once again fails to [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|deliver a sweetheart]] to Chris on [[Christmas]].

{{Timeline}}

CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers

2012-12-29T16:48:50Z

ReiDemon:

'''CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers''' is a series of three videos posted on 10 [[July 2009]] by [[Chris]] for three individuals: ShmionSonozaki, sonichuizcool and oxycleanfanatic2264. Their accounts were already closed when the videos were posted.

Deemed "Too Hot for [[YouTube]]" for Chris's very blunt and inflammatory rhetoric (calling individuals [[retard]]s, telling individuals to kill themselves, etc.), it led to an immediate suspension of his account. Luckily a brave patriot discovered them when they were new and mirrored them, allowing them to then be archived by the [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] for great justice. Each video begins with Chris holding up a piece of paper with the user's name written on it and playing the same recorded disclaimer in the background.

Ironically, Chris called the users "[[naïve]]" and revealed his particular disdain for this word calling it "the most cruelest of words", and then he proceeded to butcher its definition by saying it meant being stupid. It has been speculated on [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] that he might have been [[Alcohol|slightly intoxicated]] when making the videos.

It was eventually revealed that OxycleanFanatic was in fact, Samantha Thaddeus, daughter of [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was assisting her father in holding Chris's PSN hostage. She called Chris out on this video in the [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails]].

The video addressed to ''sonichuizcool'' served as a huge killer of trolls' remorse, due to him insulting a mentally ill person who was genuinely fond of his works.

==CWC Calls Out ShmionSonozaki==

{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Calls Out ShmionSonozaki
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Q706T7B_kGs}}
| stardate = 10 [[July 2009]]
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{RefereeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[CWC Update 7 July 2009]]
| next = [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out sonichuizcool|CWC Calls Out sonichuizcool]]
}}
=== Transcript ===

[The screen shows a piece of paper with the name ‘ShmionSonozaki’ written on it in felt tip pen.]

The following is addressed to this individual, whose YouTube account is this only. The opinions and if— feelings and emotions expressed in this video are not... res— are not representative towards any persons other than this one. [''pause''] Thank you very much.

[camera cut to Chris]

Hello! Hmm... you hide under a veil. I don’t know, are you a pretty woman? Or are you a- or are ya hide a beard underneath that veil? Or do you hide that beard? Perhaps you are actually a dude, or even worse, a [[Silvana|hermaphrodite]]. You know what, you gettin' not much of response from me, because, you even deleted your own account! You are such a cowardly, naïve, retarded, individual. Naïve is the cruelest of words,cause it questions one's intelbi—intelligence And that’s why I’m calling you... you naïve retard.

[jump cut]

And also, I know you live [''short pause''] in Pennsylvania.

==CWC Calls Out ==
===True fan===
Sonichuizcool was an English [[slow-in-the-mind]] [[Pokémon]] fan who was possibly the only person to ever actually like [[Sonichu]].

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = True fan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yyZPrvYvyM4}}
| stardate = 10 [[June 2009]]
| maker = sonichuizcool
| subject =
| type = }}

===CWC Calls Out sonichuizcool===
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Calls Out sonichuizcool
| video = {{#ev:youtube|M18KOTd6LWs}}
| stardate = 10 [[July 2009]]
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{RefereeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out ShmionSonozaki|CWC Calls Out ShmionSonozaki]]
| next = [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out oxycleanfanatic2264|CWC Calls Out oxycleanfanatic2264]]
}}
=== Transcript ===

[The screen shows a piece of paper with the name ‘sonichuizcool’ written on it in felt tip pen.]

The following is addressed to this individual, whose YouTube account is this only. The opinions and if— feelings and emotions expressed in this video are not... res— are not representative towards any persons other than this one. [''pause''] Thank you very much.

[''camera cut to Chris'']

Hmm... I don’t know. You seem to hide behind a face mask, and a beanie. Who do you think you are? [[Sailor Moon|Tuxedo Kamen]]? Ah! You’re so naïve and [[slow in the minds|slow in the mind]]. I couldn’t even give a dang about you. And if you want my trust, you’re gonna have to do some earning, ''then'' you’re gonna have to come out and into the open. You gotta come out where I can meet you. Ehh? Ehh?

Dumbass.

===Vidio Reply To Christian Weston Chandler Maker of Sonichu Comics===

Sonichuizcool replied three days later. Hilariously, she one-ups Chris in this video, parodying his index card introduction from his Calling Out video, and referencing the destruction of his Sonichu medallion ''(albeit unintentionally)'' by chopping up her own. She (like so many others) calls him out on his bad behaviour, and states that because of it, he had lost the only true fan he ever had. Despite that, she still felt pity towards Chris and even offers some good advice, which speaks volumes about her virtue of forgiveness and Chris' sin of being a total douche.

Considering that Chris has never replied to this video, this means that he has officially been owned by a "slow-in-the-mind."

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Vidio Reply To Christian Weston Chandler Maker of Sonichu Comics
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kaBOHkXHVXU}}
| stardate = 13 [[July 2009]]
| maker = sonichuizcool
| subject =
| type = }}

===Transcript===

'''Sonichuizcool:''' So. This is a reply to Christian Chandler, who made the video where he called me names, including "dumbass". I-I'm recording this again, because the sound was very bad. ''(brings out a piece of paper with 'Christian Weston Chandler' written on it, and peers under it at the camera)'' So...this is for the maker of the Sonichu ''(pronounces it 'Soniku')'' comics whose name is this and this only.

It was very mean of you to say all that [[Death Threats|nasty stuff]] to people, and what about it come to you? I have not tried to get your trust or [[Speech_Impediment|whatever you said]] on your video, but the only thing I've shown is a true fan of Sonichu and yourself for a very long time and you called me names! I have done lots to sort out the trolls who were hating you, and I have argued for you when those nasty guys said bad stuff about you. I thought that you were truly a good guy.

Well, now, you have lost a good fan, and I might even be one of your best fans you ever had. I have now [[Sonichu_medallion#Mark_1_.28and_decoy.29|chopped up my Sonichu medallion]] because I think you are an idiot, and I am not a Sonichu fan anymore.

Anyway, [[A_near_public_apology|apology accepted]], and I do see the vids you made. You have a lot of people to apologize to, who you have said so much bad stuff to people who have not done anything to you. I-I'm not one of your "fanbase" anymore, but, I still think you are okay. A lot of bad stuff has happened to you, and I'm not blaming you, as you have a lot of hate from nasty people, and [[Chris and Anger|that gets you all mad]], yeah. I think you should concentrate more on comics, and less, um, [[Youtube]], as there are a lot of bad people on Youtube, which is why I wear a disguise. I actually made a lot of vids without this mask before. I started wearing this. Y'know, I think it was cool, too.

Anyway, an update on my comic, second page is done, and posted the two pages online. The address is on my Youtube.

Anyway, from the beanie-masked Youtuber who is now known as GX, or G Extreme, after my comics. Bye, bye, bye, that's all for now! Gene of X.

==CWC Calls Out oxycleanfanatic2264==

{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Calls Out oxycleanfanatic2264
| video = {{#ev:youtube|PVDZzxMWNaA}}
| stardate = 10 [[July 2009]]
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{RefereeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out sonichuizcool|CWC Calls Out sonichuizcool]]
| next = [[A near public apology]]
}}
=== Transcript ===

[The screen shows a piece of paper with the name ‘oxycleanfanatic2264’ written on it in felt tip pen. Below it says 'not a YouTube handle, but... something']

The following is addressed to this individual, whose YouTube account is this only. The opinions and if— feelings and emotions expressed in this video are not... res— are not representative towards any persons other than this one. [''pause''] Thank you very much.

[camera cut to Chris]

[[CWC_"Boyfriend"|Hey! You!]] I know you. I have your name! You live in Sacramento, California. I have a detective on the case, and I am going to send him against you as soon as possible. Which- that would be in the next few days, or tomorrow when I can get in touch with him. And I ''will'' get in touch with him. And you think you’re ''so'' smart and you think you’re '''so''' corny by doing the things that you have done so far, mister '''''hacker'''''! You think you’re so smart? Well, you know what? You're just a naïve retard! And naïve is my least favorite word because it ''sounds'' like nails on a chalkboard. You naïve retarded bastard! You should just go ha- you should just go hang yourself, after you have given me back what you have stolen from me. Do it '''''NOW'''''! Give 'em back to me! Or I will send the detective and the police on your case. You bastard, you- naïve retarded bastard.

[camera cut]

And not only that, but you are such a coward, you dare not even show your face like others have done, partially, on their YouTube videos. You are such a cowardly naïve retarded '''bastard'''!

[camera cut]

That’s right. I’m calling you out!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 7 July 2009]]|nextlink=[[A near public apology]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Videos with RAGE]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-10]]

Chris in the media

2012-12-27T01:23:41Z

ReiDemon: /* Maddox */

[[Image:The truth about cwc.jpg|thumb|right|Just you wait..]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]], being an attention whore of sorts, has frequently managed to find himself in the '''media''' spotlight. [[Television]], newspapers, magazines and, of course, [[the Internet]] - if Chris can find some way to get his 15 minutes of fame, he'll do it.

==Traditional media==
===''Richmond Times-Dispatch''===
{{main|IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES}}

In 1993, the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' newspaper ran an article detailing how Chris changed his name from "Christopher" to "Christian". This was Chris's first known appearance in media.

===Sonic The Hedgehog Watch And Win Sweepstakes===

{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes}}

Chris's second appearance in the media was a news report in [[1994]] chronicling Chris's first victory, winning a contest celebrating one of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoons.

===Chris Chan in the PokéNews===

{{main|Chris Chan in the PokéNews}}

In [[1999]], Chris made his third appearance in a news report on the growing success of the Pokémon Trading Card Game. He was seventeen years old at the time, and he was playing [[Pokémon]] cards with [[Pedofork|kids as young as eight]].

===''Nintendo Power'' Magazine===

{{main|Nintendo Power Magazine}}

Twice, Chris has used the magazine ''Nintendo Power'' to get himself attention. First was a letter Chris wrote telling Nintendo how he used a [[Sprung|video game]] to cure his [[Noviophobia|fear of talking to girls]]. The second time detailed Chris's Animal Crossing video, though there he was known as [[Sonichu]], not Chris.

===Shoujo Beat===

{{main|Shoujo Beat}}

Chris sent a letter to an [[anime]]-themed magazine that got published in its November [[2005]] issue. In it, he complains about [[JERKS]] taking away all the pretty [[boyfriend-free girl]]s and leaving him to be a [[Virgin With Rage|lonesome virgin]]. A response was published in the March [[2006]] issue, in which the writer instructs Chris on the error of his ways.

===Daily Progress===

[[Image:CWCinDailyProgressJuly142007.jpg|thumb|Admit it, if you've never heard of Chris before, would you think that they were actually referring to a 25 year old man here?]]

On 14 [[July 2007]], the Chandlers were mentioned in the ''Daily Progress'' section of their local newspaper.

=== WBCN Toucher and Rich ===

{{main|Toucher and Rich Segment}}

On 12 [[May 2009]] Chris's antics became so famous that it sparked the interest of a radio podcast in [[Wikipedia:Boston|Boston]]. The whole media furor was sparked by the "[[I Got A Fish]]" video. However, most of the show covered Chris's videos addressed to [[Ivy]].<ref>[http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145]</ref>

=== KROQ-FM ''The Kevin and Bean Show''===

{{main|The Kevin and Bean Show Segment}}

One of Chris's [[Captain's Log]]s is dissected by the hosts [[Wikipedia:Kevin and BeanKevin and Bean]]. Notably, the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video in question]] required ''a full two minutes'' dedicated to disclaimers, as well as censoring of [[Semen#Recycling|certain]] [[Honest content|unairable]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|acts]] .

=== ''Web Soup'' ===

{{main|For G4s Web Soup}}

Once again, Chris's "[[I Got A Fish]]" video was briefly featured, this time on [[Wikipedia:G4 (TV channel)|G4]]'s ''[[Wikipedia:Web Soup|Web Soup]]'' on 2 [[July 2009]]. While the segment lasted less than thirty seconds, Chris initially felt honored and used the opportunity to try to score some [[china]].

===Save McIntire Park===

{{main|McIntire Park}}

In [[July 2009]], Chris briefly appears in the background of a news segment about saving McIntire Park, [[Charlottesville]]. Later, Chris receives recognition at a council meeting for drawing a large sign.

=== ''Slylock Fox'' ===
[[File:SonichuSlylockFox25Sep2011.JPG|thumb|115px|"Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9"]]
On 25 September 2011, ''[[Wikipedia:Slylock Fox & Comics for Kids|Slylock Fox & Comics for Kids]]'', a comic strip strip published by King Features Syndicate, featured a black-and-white image<ref>[http://content.comicskingdom.net/Slylock/Slylock.20110925.gif]</ref> of [[Sonichu]] in the "Your Drawing" panel. The illustration, which ran in thousands of papers nationwide, was accompanied by text, which read: "Today's terrific artist is Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9." The strip's author, Bob Weber Jr., admitted on the Comics Curmudgeon blog<ref>[http://joshreads.com/?p=10951#comment-1014594]</ref> that he fully believed that the "artist" was nine years old (rather than twenty-nine) when he selected the drawing out of the dozens that are submitted to the strip every week.

=== ''The Opie & Anthony Show'' ===
''[[Wikipedia:Opie and Anthony|The Opie & Anthony Show]]'' on [[Wikipedia:Sirius XM Radio|Sirius XM Radio]] which is broadcasted to 18.5 million units did a commentary segment on Christian's video response to drinking his own [[cum]] and shitting his adult diapers. It is unknown whether the man child has realized that his [[autistic]] antics have technically been broadcasted to low earth orbit.
{{Infobox/video
|name= Opie and Anthony: Chris Chan
|video= {{#ev:youtube|gLYvMLHZfFo}}
}}

=== ''Houston Press'' ===
On 12 [[July 2012]], the ''[[Wikipedia:Houston Press|Houston Press]]'' published an article on Rex Nabours III of folk band Guwange and his attempts to raise money for sick children. Nabours was quoted in the article saying "I did a Christian Weston Chandler (the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' guy) [http://guwange.bandcamp.com/album/trollstas-paradise-a-true-honest-tribute-to-christian-the-hedghog-boys covers album] earlier this year with the intent of giving any money I made off of it to Autism-related charities because the dude is basically [[Song for Jackie.MOV|blackface]] for [[autism]]".<ref>http://blogs.houstonpress.com/artattack/2012/07/rex_nabours_extra_life.php</ref>

==Major Internet media==

===Fark.com===
The world-renown Internet portal [[Wikipedia:Fark|Fark]] to [[ECV 00095]] on 5 [[May 2009]].<ref>[http://www.fark.com/cgi/vidplayer.pl?IDLink=4369161|Fark linked]</ref>

{{quote|You don't need to search any longer, the [[The Creepy Stare|creepiest]] person on [[the internet]] has been found|A Farker}}

===Heavy.com===
Chris tops the site's list of the 20 Worst Internet Losers, posted 13 [[July 2010]].

{{quote|There could be no other choice to close out this list. [[Christian Weston Chandler]], aka Chris-Chan, is like every horrible thing about [[the Internet]] made flesh. [[14 Branchland Court|Lives]] with his [[Bob Chandler|par]][[Barbara Chandler|ents]], sponges off the [[Monthly tugboat|government]] and uses the cash for [[PS3|PlayStation 3]] games and [[sex toys]], walks around the [[Fashion Square Mall|mall]] with his Game Boy [[love quest|looking for girlfriends]], posts incoherent YouTube videos of himself [[For Julie's Eyes Only|humping an anime bodypillow]] and yelling “Oh, [[Julie]],” the list will go on forever. C.W.C. is the ''ne plus ultra'' of Web losers.|Heavy.com, [http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/the-20-worst-internet-losers/4/ 20 Worst Internet Losers]}}

===Harry Partridge===
[[Image:HappyHarryRosechu.jpg|thumb|125px|"Actually, it is excellent; I would not change a thing about it." -Chris, [[Mailbag 9]]]]
Animator Harry Partridge (best known for his [[parody|slanderous mockery]] [[Wikipedia:Saturday Morning Watchmen|Saturday Morning ''Watchmen'']]) has made several references to Chris and Sonichu, the first of which being a drawing of [[Rosechu]] uploaded to Newgrounds.<ref>[http://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/happyharry/rosechu ]</ref> An animated version of Chris appears briefly in the animated cartoon short "A Nicolas Cage Wants Cake", a musical remix of a scene from ''[[Family Guy|The Family Man]]''.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesa]</ref> In the animated short "Skyrim", [[Son-Chu]]'s "SONICHU" license plate can be seen in the background during the first scene.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9eGtyqz4gY]</ref> In the Followup, "Song of Skyrim", Chris makes a brief cameo in the crowd scene.

When interviewing Harry Partridge on Animation Aficionados, the hosts asked Harry about Chris's cameos in some of his videos (from 0:19:43). The discussion the hosts have with Harry about Chris is quite lengthy, during which Mr. Partridge admits that he is "obsessed with him":<ref>[http://animationaficionados.com/2011/08/23/episode-35-harry-partridge/]</ref>

{{Quote|1=I really am obsessed with him... I check [[CWCki|''Sonichu.com'']], the wiki about Chris-chan and his weird life, if not daily, every couple of hours... there must be more written about Chris-chan than George Washington. |2=Harry Partridge|3=}}

===Atop the Fourth Wall===
Comic reviewer Linkara goes on a brief tirade in his video "Top 15 Things I Will Never Review" about [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] on the subject of webcomics at the 24 minute mark.<ref>[http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html]</ref>

{{Infobox/video
|name= Linkara Discusses Sonichu & Chris-Chan
|video= {{#ev:youtube|mDfRk0qt5HQ}}
}}

{{quote|"But wait," the internet cried back, "let me tell you about the horror that is... Sonichu!" Yes people, I have heard of Sonichu. I really wish I hadn't heard of Sonichu. I would be a much happier man if I hadn't.|Linkara, speaking for everyone who has ever read Sonichu.}}

Linkara didn't want to review ''Sonichu'' because he didn't want to bring any more attention to it, seemingly being aware that Chris takes pride in any attention being brought to himself and Sonichu, no matter how negative it is. At the end of the video, he uses Weird Al's "Do I Creep You Out" as the credits music, a possible jab at Chris.

===RayWilliamJohnson===
In one episode of ''=3'' (pronounced "equals three"), vlogger Ray William Johnson made fun of Chris's habit of drinking his cum. Though he never gave Chris's name, (referring to him inaccurately as "your average ''[[Captain's Log|Star Trek]]'' nerd) he did provide a link to Chris's old channel.

===Something Awful===
The last episode of [[Wikipedia:Something Awful|Something Awful]]'s “Webcam Ward” is a commentary on [[ECV 00002]].<ref>[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/sonic-the-hog.php]</ref>

Also, the first episode of The Flash Tub's "Gaming Guyz", while not mentioning Chris outright, directly references his [[medallion]], and how [[Sonic]] cured his [[Autism]] in Part 12.<ref>[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/gaming-guys-cartoon.php]</ref>

===SpliceToday.com===
An article<ref>[http://www.splicetoday.com/digital/come-back-christian-weston-chandler]</ref> posted on 6 January, 2011 on this multimedia blog decried Chris's latest exile from the Internet. It sums up Chris's history and behavior while sharing a personal account of the author taking steps to improve his life in order to distance himself from the similarities he saw between Chris and himself.

{{quote|It’s a little sad, and a little beautiful, and somewhere out there, Christian Weston Chandler is heating up his [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|Hungry Man]] lunch in a supermarket microwave (because his [[kitchen]] microwave has been buried under old Christmas decorations) and playing his [[Nintendo]] DS, and maybe ogling a salesgirl from across the produce section before he approaches her awkwardly and uses a pickup line that he misread from the Internet, and I wish I could continue to see it all.|SpliceToday.com, Come Back, Christian Weston Chandler}}

===Nicole Richie's twitter===
On 5 [[December 2009]] American socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Richie|Nicole Richie]] posted on [[Twitter]]<ref>[http://twitpic.com/s7pfi]</ref> an image of Chris in his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s underwear and humorously presented it as a picture of [[wikipedia:Benji Madden|Benji Madden]], brother of her then boyfriend (now husband) [[Wikipedia:Joel Madden|Joel Madden]].

===Sega acknowledges Sonichu===
On 13 [[January 2012]], [[Sega]] of America made a brief reference to Sonichu in one of their "Free Stuff Friday" videos when talking about a Super [[Sonic]] plush they were giving away. While this is not [[TRUE and HONEST]] [[Sonichu]] [[Jimmy Hill|merchandise]], it shows that at least some Sega employees are aware of Sonichu's existence. Jump to 3:50 in the linked video.

{{Infobox/video
|name= SEGA's Free Stuff Friday - January 13, 2012
|video= {{#ev:youtube|Cnoq4-Mhpgc&feature=plcp&context=C3339408UDOEgsToPDskLt-QBTt2G-JGOVz5W_wy4Z}}
}}

Chris had seen this video and [[List of Christian's comments on Youtube#SEGA's Free Stuff Friday-January 13, 2012|was not amused]].

===Maddox===
Internet comedy writer [[wikipedia:Maddox (writer)|George "Maddox" Ouzounian]], best-known for his website [http://maddox.xmission.com The Best Page in the Universe], critiqued Chris's [[:File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog]] on one of his side-projects, [http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com I Am Better Than Your Kids], as one of many children's drawings to help promote his novel of the same name. Like most other works on the site, Maddox gave the drawing an F. <ref>[http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com/?p=117]</ref>

===Cvillepedia===
On a wiki dedicated to Charlottesville culture and "celebrities," he has what can only be described as a tongue-in-cheek article.<ref>http://www.cvillepedia.org/mediawiki/index.php/Christian_Weston_Chandler</ref>

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life| ]]

Mailbag 60

2012-12-24T05:53:47Z

ReiDemon: Adding emails.

'''Mailbag 60''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 27 [[March 2010]].

This Mailbag remained unanswered before the death of the CWCipedia in [[May 2010]].

==Not getting answered ever==
{{Email|From: Tubular Monkey <tubularmonkey@gmail.com>
Hello Christian,

I notice that things have been [[stress|frustrating]] for you lately. May I suggest that if the [[trolls]] stay on your back, you have your father make a video for you? They may respect someone who is older and wiser than they are. From what you've said, he argues quite a bit, and would probably be good at frightening the people who are bothering you. Just some food for thought there.

Your humble fan,
Tubular Monkey)}}

{{Email|From: [[Homos|A Big Bear]]
Hey Chris, thank you for FINALLY allowing us to purchase the [[Sonichu]] comics! It's been almost a whole year since you would say you would get it paper published and now it is! I'd glad my money is going to you!

Allison "Bear" Falcon}}

{{Email|From: Ellie McKindall <felivestix@yahoo.com>

Yo-la, Chris-Chan! I was wondering... have you ever thought about looking back at some of your older comic pages and redoing them, just to see how much you've improved in your [[Chris and art|art skills]]? I like to draw, too, and I have a bunch of pictures I drew when I was 15, and told myself when I turn 20, that I'll draw them again with my new skills. That means after June this year, I better have a lot of paper and pencils as well as colors.

Maybe you should try drawing [[Sonichu 0|issue 0]] again, and compare them. Take a good look at how much better you've gotten in the past five or so years. I bet you'll be happy with the results.}}

{{Email|From: hot philly <hotphillypro@hotmail.com>
Dear Christian Chandler,

Wow, the newest [[Sonichu 10|issue of Sonichu]] was really good. I had to read it a few times and each time i did I found something different to appreciate in it. Really good [[Chris and writing|writing]]. I truly hope you keep doing the pages.

On a side note, a lot (and I mean A LOT) of your fans and subscribers have been wondering about your [[Bob Chandler|father]]. How is he doing ? Is he out of the hospital ? Were you worried about him ? I know I was and I don't even know the man. Any info or update you can give us would be GREAT, dude ! Hope he is doing well for your family's sake.

Peace and you have a good day.)}}

{{Email|From: the13thscorpio@yahoo.com
1.Will you ever make a comic with Sonichu and friends going back in time?

Like for instance,the medival period,a favorite of mine.I would love to see him in plate armor and wielding a sword against a true medivel overlord,or sultan,whatever it be,along with the Chaotic Combo.Or maybe do a surrealist episode,with them rocking out in the Cretaceous.

2.My sister asks this one.Do you enjoy fish tacos?
3.Back to me.Have you ever tried Old Spice?
4.I have only an X-box 360(Yes,I know you hate them,but it was all I could afford),so with the possiblity of the game coming out,why keep it from us who can only have one gaming console?Multi-platform gaming is the future, and you can get money out of us 360 users too.

That is all for now,thanks for your time.
Gregor Clegane and sister,cAjun_Queen.}}

{{Email|From: Terrence Bogard <hungrywolf1991@gmail.com>
Hello, I am Terrence Bogard. I had found out six months ago that I have a half-brother by the name of Andrew. A month ago I finally went to meet him, and my best friend May Shirunai tagged along. She fell in love with him at first sight, but he's gay and only wants to be friends with her. Since then she has been very depressed and I feel bad for her. Any advice?

And before you tell me to be her true love or anything like that, there are two things I want you to know:

1. I already have a girlfriend

2. We have been friends since kindergarten, and I don't want to risk destroying that friendship with any other type of relationship}}

{{Email|From: Tubular Monkey <tubularmonkey@gmail.com>
Hello Chris,

I don't know if you've heard, but Officer Bagget, who arrested you at Target, helped shoot a crazed gunman who was shooting at police. Below is a link about the story.

http://www2.dailyprogress.com/cdp/news/local/crime/article/no_charges_in_police_shooting_of_teen/52072/

Considering that he risked his life to keep the Greene County area safe, do you like him better now? Or are you afraid that if you get in trouble with again he might use his gun?

Sincerely,
TM}}

{{Mailbag}}

The Adventures of The American Rabbit

2012-12-15T04:39:21Z

ReiDemon: /* Influence */ Consistency.

{{quote|"[Well,] after seeing this all the way through [I] can certainly understand how a [[Christian_Weston_Chandler|kid who loved this film in the late 80's]] would grow up to make a [[Sonichu_(comic)|webcomic]] featuring a [[Sonichu|cross between pikachu and sonic]] that goes nowhere.|[[YouTube]] commenter shawtgunjones, upon watching this film.}}

[[Image:Amerrabb.jpg|thumb|The American Rabbit]]

'''''The Adventures of The American Rabbit''''' is an insipid [[1980s#1986|1986]] animated film directed by [[Wikipedia:Fred Wolf|Fred Wolf]] (of ''[[Wikipedia:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' fame) about Robert Rabbit, a bunny who is transformed into a superhero to defend his friends, family and land from pollution and the Mafia. All whilst parading around in quite possibly the most [[autistic|retarded]] costume in superhero history: a rabbit painted in the stars and stripes and wearing roller skates (even though he can fly).

''The Adventures of The American Rabbit'' actually set the standards for Chris's perception of many things, including himself, [[United States of America|America]], [[Chris and writing|storytelling]], [[race]] (something that will become quickly apparent to any viewer of the film in question), honesty and respect for oneself and others (which, as in the movie, are given much talk for no reason whatsoever). His claims for being truthful, honest, and decent are almost certainly informed by the shallow cartoon's glossing over of the issues in a ham-handed, incomplete, moralizing fashion. Even the famous cover for [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] is plagiarized partially, in an eerie subconscious fashion from a scene early in the film where the little rabbit goes out from his home village, encouraged by his father.

Robert Rabbit is also Chris's role model in life, on the level of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]. In Chris's [[Wikipedia]] entry, he stated "they REALLY SHOULD HAVE MADE A [[TV]] SERIES of him."

Along with Filmation's ''[[Ghostbusters]]'', ''The Adventures of The American Rabbit'' is another example that Chris's childhood was fed by obscure cartoons that no one's ever heard of. That or his parents regularly raided bargain bins for videos to keep young Christopher amused.

==Influence==

''The Adventures of The American Rabbit'' may have had a tremendous influence on Chris's narrative style, as the film has numerous plot holes, a generic, mostly tacked-on moral message, moments that make you go "Wait, ''what''?" (e.g. when the antagonist weasels take over the world by kidnapping two moose who are somehow responsible for the entire chocolate supply), and the use of anthropomorphic animals as heroes. In other words, key ingredients of your typical [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]].

===Possible influences on the ''Sonichu'' comic===

====Anchuent Powers/Legacy====

In the story, Rob Rabbit is visited at birth by a wizened old rabbit, who keeps tabs on him throughout his life until his latent powers are revealed when he saves his family. He then appears in a wizard's robe and tells Robert that he has inherited the Legacy of the American Rabbit. This is very similar to Chris's [[Anchuent Prophecy]], where he is the chosen one who gets superpowers, for no particular reason.

====Shallow love interests====

As soon as Rob meets the [[Rosechu|pink]] Bunny O'Hare, it becomes very obvious that the two are attracted to each other. Granted, unlike the ''Sonichu'' comic, American Rabbit actually remembers that it's [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|supposed to be for kids]] so there's never anything more than a peck on the cheek, but this could easily have set the standard for Chris's idea of love at first sight.

====Worthless side characters that all look alike====

To be fair, he could have just as easily gotten this from the [[Sonic]] series, but it's just as apparent in ''The Adventures of The American Rabbit'' as well. The band Rob travels with is called the White Brothers Band, a group made out of five white rabbits that literally look and sound alike. They get mentioned by name once, which could mean that Chris at least treats the [[Chaotic Combo]] a bit better than them.

====Worthless side characters in general====

Supposedly, besides attempting to make money to rebuild a bar, the characters traveling with Rob believe that they have a "duty to fight against evil," but out of all of them, only Ping, the Garfield-voiced Gorilla, actually does anything against the Jackal antagonists. In fact, he's probably more effective than Rob is, American Rabbit or not. This is mirrored in Sonichu, where everyone besides Magi-Chan is completely expendable, unless they are just waiting off to the side to dramatically leap in to save their friends, a la [[Darkbind Sonichu]].

====You know what, all the protagonists are worthless====

With all his superpowers, Rob punches out all of two of the Jackals during the whole movie. Every other time he uses his powers is to save himself and his dipshit friends from another trap the Jackals have sprung on them. At one point, Rob is reduced to a blubbering mess, and has to be given a pep talk by the same wizard who was watching over him as a child before he can finally save the day once and for all. This worthlessness can be seen in both Sonichu AND Chris, especially during the earlier comics where Chris was always getting saved by [[Sailor Megtune]].

====A villain in a staff====

Or at least, a villain ON a staff. The main antagonist of the movie, Vultor, is portrayed as a man entirely concealed in a gangster suit and hat, with a staff that doubles as a perch for his pet vulture. It's later revealed that the gangster suit and hat were filled with nothing but air, and that the vulture IS Vultor, and has been controlling the suit in a way that is never addressed by the movie. While [[Count Graduon]] isn't controlling [[Mary Lee Walsh]], he certainly calls the shots.

====Plot holes and loose ends====

In fact, lots of things aren't addressed by the movie. The whole reason Rob and his band start to travel [[America]] is to raise money to rebuild a bar, but all the venues they plan to play at get destroyed, they lose their car, and even their instruments. At the very end of the movie they can't even afford to rent new ones, but this point is never addressed since the fact that Vultor has been defeated automatically means it's a happy ending. Not to mention the utterly retarded "chocolate moose" plot (basically, the villains take over the entire chocolate industry by stealing two chocolate-producing moose that are apparently the source of all the world's chocolate). Since ''The Adventures of The American Rabbit'' is just a single hour and a half movie made for children, it at least has an excuse, whereas Chris will either forget about plot points in ''Sonichu'' until he's reminded in the [[Mailbag]], or have the story in his head all along and expect everyone else to magically understand it, and get angry when they inevitably don't.

==See also==
*''[[Bugs Bunny]]''
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie Sonee]], possibly named after the film's incompetent "hero".

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:The_Adventures_of_the_American_Rabbit|Wikipedia article]]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0166948/ IMDb page]
*[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheAdventuresOfTheAmericanRabbit TV Tropes page of the movie.]
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20110525131844/http://www.filmfreakcentral.net/dvdreviews/americanrabbit.htm Review by Alex Jackson] (Wayback Machine)
*[http://www.hulu.com/watch/199194/the-adventures-of-the-american-rabbit Watch it on Hulu]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Adventures of The American Rabbit}}

[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Template:DYK

2012-12-13T22:01:42Z

ReiDemon: Undo revision 164200 by Hangman123 (talk)

{{ #switch: {{{1}}}
|0=
*...that Chris is no longer a [[virgin with rage]]?
*...that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with [[Tiffany Nicole Gowen|Tiffany Gowen]] at their [[high school]] reunion?
*...that Chris "buys [[Obesity|healthy food]], [[My Coke Rewards|good]] [[Alcohol|drinks]] and [[toys|just]] [[Video games|necessities]] with [[Monthly_tugboat|Good Money]]?"
*...that Chris will ''never'' be able to [[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|destroy]] the [[CWCki]]?
*...that Chris got fired from [[Wendy's]] for scaring a small child?
*...that there is [[:Category:Media needing transcription|a grand amount]] of audio needing transcription?
*...that Chris [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|ALWAYS IS]] the Mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are to be confused with neither [[Pickles|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys [[sex toys]] and [[PS3]] games and content with [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]]?
*...that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] has an older brother named [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]?
|1=
*...that Chris upgraded his anti-troll weaponry from his [[fangs]] to a [[pocket knife]]?
*...that this website, the CWCki, is a [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|LOAD OF BULL]]?
*...that [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|told]] Chris that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was to be his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]?
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ham-ye-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Chris is capable of taking care of himself?]]
*...that Chris once attended a [[Chris_and_psychology#Relationship_Management_Classes|Relationship Management Class]] intended for couples?
*...that [[Bob Chandler]] wanted you to [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|shut that goddamn thing off]]?
*...that Chris did not discover [[mass debating|masturbation]] until the age of 16?
*...that Chris was born on [[Cwc_blog#7_January_2010|24 February]], the same day the [[CWCville|Nazi party]] was founded?
*...that when working at [[Cutco]], Chris did not have any intentions of harming himself or others with the merchandise?
|2=
*...that OFFICIAL Sonichu medallions are made of [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 22nd, 2009|C-L-A-Y]]?
*...that Chris really [[Fridays After Five|cannot dance]]?
*...that Chris drinks his own [[semen]]?
*...that Chris wishes you a [[Bunny Hop|hoppy Easter]]?
*...that in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], Chris admits that his [[Chandler|family]] is a bunch of pack rats?
*...that Chris is a [[Surfshack Tito Emails|horrendous racist]]?
*...that Chris has been recording himself [[Chris and anger|freaking out on camera]] as early as [[Song of Christian|10th grade]]?
*...that Chris's sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that '''you''' can be a REAL LIFE hero by doing stuff from the [[CWCki:Priority Listing|Priority Listing]]?
*...that the "apple-core" bit with [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] from [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] is based off a [http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/210989/detail/ children's game]?
|3=
*...that Chris banned [[Twitter]] on his [[CWCipedia]]?
:*...and then changed his mind, only to ignore it?
*...that in [[2006]], Chris bought a [[Niggos|Booty-licious Love Doll]]? (It's an ass-lover's dream come true.)
*...that Chris is a [[Stress|stressed]] [[:Category:Yo! CWC Raps|homeboy]] [[Chris and the law|imprisoned]] in [[lulz]]?
*...that Chris told his [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] about him [[Bob_Walks_In_Aftermath|masturbating]], but his dad was not as open minded on the subject?
*...that Chris [[Miyamoto Saga|never]] went to Redmond like he [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|claimed]]?
*...that Chris used to [[A Week With Christian Chandler|sleep in class]] (and had no shame about it)?
*...that the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] tricked Chris again?
*...that Chris considers the "[[Rule 34|romance]]" in his comics as his best art?
*...that the American government pays Chris [[Monthly tugboat|$27 every single day]] to sit on his fat ass?
|4=
*...that Chris [[100 2278|cannot do one single pull-up]] or [[CWC 30 Push Ups|push-up]]?
*...that on his [[MySpace]], Chris marked his [[Obesity|fat]] contacts with "More to Love"?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris the TCG gamer|Level-Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting is OK]], and actually helps cure cancer?
*...that Chris can't even stand to look at you, you [[Secret Weapon|ugly freak!]]
*...that Chris once had a prostitute [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|hang up]] on him?
*...that [[Michael Snyder]] is a [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|''JEW!'']]
*...that Chris hates the word "[[Aspergers]]" almost as much as the word "[[Naïve]]"?
|5=
*...that [[Jerkief|wooden badges]] are delicious?
*...that Chris loves [[McDonald's]] while [[Bob|his dad]] preferred [[Burger King]]?
*...that Chris is a [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay icon]]?
*...that the [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Island Iced Tea]] is the official cocktail of [[CWC]] and all [[CWC]] trolls?
*...that [[Ivy]] was real?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHbCK3ETweQ E-Mail My Heart]"?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] became a troll because his brother [[Ryan Cash|Ryan]] committed suicide?
*...that all the [[Trolls|Sonichu characters]] had [[CWCipedia#The Twitter feed|Twitter]] accounts?
*...that Chris [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|doesn't have a caretaker]], despite how badly he needs one?
|6=
*...that [[Yawning Squirtle]] sells the best [[tobacky|weed]] in [[CWCville]]?
*...that Chris doesn't give a shit about his [[True and Loyal fanbase]] and that [[Sonichu]] is merely a means to an [[china|end]]?
*...that for [[Christmas]] [[2004]], Chris asked Santa for a [[girlfriend]]?
*...that on Christmas Day 2004, Chris became depressed because he didn't get one?
*...that Chris has been [[Chris and the Law|convicted in court twice]]?
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
*...that Chris is the [[CWC "Boyfriend"|MOTHERFUCKING PRINCE, MAN]]?
*...that Chris [[Chris and reality|believes]] that [[Sex toys|butt plugs]] are linked with [[IRC_(27_December_2008)|spontaneous human combustion]]?
*...that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|real]]?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] was born on the Fourth of July (and was a true American patriot)?
|7=
*...that [[Barbara Chandler]] won the [[:Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|Mother of the Year 2000 award]]?
*...that "HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]!" is an old meme?
*...that Chris was once the [[Homos|proud]] owner of a pink [[EBay|Leapster]], a gaming system for small children?
*...that [[Barbara]] [[Mumble 2#A Wild Snorlax Appears|sings while vacuuming]]?
*...that Chris [[Fridays_After_Five|throws rocks at women]] to attract them?
*...that even now, Chris [[Obesity|does not think he is fat]]?
*...that [[Sarah Jackson]], Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by [[Optimus Prime]]?
*...that Chris loves to give [[Cwc_blog#29_November_2009|dating advice]] to [[Manchester High School|high schoolers]] in spite of never having been on [[Dating Education|date]] as a teenager or an adult?
*...that Chris repeatedly dreamt his [[sweetheart]] amid a [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|watery maze]]?
:*...that Chris [[Autism|expects his fans to know]] what happens in his [[dream]]s?
|8=
*...that Christian and the Hedgehog Boys have a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK|second album?]]
*...that [[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]] is a church for all of [[God and Jesus]]'s children, regardless of age, [[African Americans|race]], [[Women's rights|gender]], [[Money|socio-economic situation]], or [[homos|sexual orientation]]?
*...that Chris [[Megan|is]] [[Nudes|a]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|disgusting]] [[Homos|human]] [[Twin Falling Towers|being]]?
*...that Chris has used a ruler to [[Mumble 8|measure]] his [[duck|dick]], but never once in his [[comic]]?
*...that Chris purged all the comments from his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]], except a poem from a [[Galpal|random girl]] which [[Chris and his ego|praised him]]?
*...that he [[So Need a Cute Girl|never wants to hear you say]], "[[boyfriend-free girl|I have a boyfriend]]"?
*...that [[Kick the Autistic]] is America's favorite game?
*...that all the cool kids (and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|dudes of all teenagers]]) regularly check out the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]?
*...that videos of Chris [[Mass debating|masturbating]] will forever haunt your [[Chris Sex Videos|nightmares]]?
*...that [[Guitar Hero]] is Chris's source for [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|new music?]]
|9=
*...that [[Evan]] killed [[Simonla Rosechu|Mommy]]?
*...that Chris can handle getting [[University of Virginia|fake numbers]] from girls because of ''Seinfeld''?
*...that Chris originally was a [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#College_Time|marketing major]] (which he picked at [[Random-access humor|random]]) before picking [[CADD]] when he enrolled at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]?
:*...that he [[Father Call|didn't know]] what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
:*...that he still has absolutely no idea how [[Axe|marketing]] works?
*...that Chris gave up free [[sex]] with a [[Jackie|girl]] because she pointed out some of his many, many flaws?
*...that Chris should have changed the oil in [[Son-Chu|his car]] in [[April 2009]], but still hasn't done it?
*...that Chris has a fourth love doll, [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Yumi]]?
*...that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*...that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
|10=
*...that Chris has [[Kacey_Call_21|no idea what a palindrome is]]?
*...that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Carlos Chantor|male prostitute]]?
*...that those with [[Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)|Asperger's]] try to take the Shine and Limelight away from true autistic people?
*...that Chris's [[duck]] [[Jackie E-mails 23|is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent?]]
*...that Chris's [[Donald Duck impersonation]] is the most terrifying thing in existence?
*...that Chris's fail is in defiance of genetics: his father was an engineer who published seven patents; his half-brothers are [[David Alan Chandler|a doctor]] and [[Cole Smithey|a successful film reviewer]]; and his [[Carol Chandler|half-sister]] is a [[Autism|mathematician]]?
*...that Chris is [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl?]]
*...that Chris is [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|as wild as a serial raper]]?
*...that [[Alec Benson Leary]] kept four [[Rosechu]]s imprisoned in his basement?
*...that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
|11=
*...that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
*...that Chris joined [[DeviantART]] to get in touch with choice Fan Artists?
*...that Chris believes he has [[Common_Questions#26_January_2010|over one billion fans]]?
*...that Chris wanted "Dont Ask, Don't Tell" to be repealed so that [[homos]] "[[Mailbag 49|can go die in explosions]]"?
*...that Chris went to school [[Jackie Chat 9|on the short bus]]?
*...that Chris chatted on AIM with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]?
*...that Chris has been the dog in [[America]]'s favorite game, '[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]' for his whole life?
*...that Chris's creative process is Random, Extensive, Tough to Comprehend sometimes?
*...that Chris thinks you're "[[10_September_2009|trolling stupid]]"?
}}

<noinclude>
{{clear}}

{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It's a big list of Chris-related facts, divided in to blocks which get randomly displayed.
* Before adding a fact, please make sure that it is a TRUE and HONEST fact and not just something you made up.
** Also try and make sure your fact isn't already covered somewhere else in the list. Your browser's "find" function (Usually accessed via pressing CTRL+F) can be useful in helping find similar entries.
* To add your fact, simply edit this template and choose a section. Any section will do, but if you have the time try to pick one with the fewest entries within it.
* Start your entry on a new line, starting with '''*...that''' and then your fact.
* Add at least one related link which explains your fact further and check your spelling before saving.}}

[[Category:Front page templates]]
[[Category:Pages that have been edited by Chris]]
</noinclude>

Template:Article of the now

2012-12-13T22:01:35Z

ReiDemon: Undo revision 164199 by Hangman123 (talk): Missed these. Sorry.

[[File:A_Log.jpg|left|200px]]

'''A-Logging''' is a term used to describe the practice of those who follow Chris who wish to inflict harm upon him, often physical, and often for perceived "crimes" that Chris is "guilty" of. Those who follow this practice are known as '''A-Logs'''. A-Logs are an opposite extreme to [[white knights]], whereas white knights try to defend Chris from [[trolls]] and help him to improve his situation, A-Logs hold the belief that Chris is beneath contempt and deserving of whatever scorn and harm he is subjected to and then some. While once fashionable, it has become a view associated with people who wish to "trollshield" themselves and therefore is looked down by the greater CWC community.

('''[[A-Logging|Read more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a way of displaying some of the better quality articles on the CWCki. It is not usually the article that describes the most recent Chris-related event, though it often can be. Suggestions for new articles to be displayed here can be discussed either on [[Template_talk:Article_of_the_now|this template's talk page]], or on the [[CWCki:Community Portal‎]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Christian Weston Chandler

2012-12-13T22:00:18Z

ReiDemon:

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris Tran]] [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Kaka Makeup Basics|Kaka]] [[Jackie Chat 6|Chunky Monkey Man]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age 30)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011–present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid) [[Virgin]] ([[1982]]-[[2012]])
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the high-functioning [[autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Art|artistic]] [[plagiarism|inspiration]] lost with [[Health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the [[The Wall of Originals|hand-drawing original]] [[copyrights|creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=490#p490 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a [[Asperger's|high-functioning]] [[This_is_how_the_Trial_went#The_Trial.|adult autistic child]], thirty-year-old former [[virgin with rage|virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing still more disturbing facts about him.]]

Yes, friends, it gets far, ''far'' worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]

Much like the Devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{clear}}

==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do we get the feeling that he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed - by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now thirty years old, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathe]] regularly," "you can't sit in a store all day [[Attraction Sign|waiting]] for people to talk to you," and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system originally forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter) who wasn't a [[troll]].

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and [[Tomgirl Pictures|proudly cross-dresses]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref>
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl—if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[Liquid Chris|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[Game Place|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube Chris and he later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]]]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris does not see his new-found femininity as being in contradiction to heterosexuality.

In [[September 2011]], Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]] died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his [[mother]] Barbara is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account.
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]]]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally lost his virginity.
{{clear}}

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|Music videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan III: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - The 503 Faces of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler" Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Template:CWCki News

2012-12-13T21:39:44Z

ReiDemon:

'''[http://spergcityzone.forumer.com/index.php CWCki Forums]'''

Check out our (relief) forums, full of lively and oftentimes thoughtful discussions on Chris and Sonichu. (Please limit extensive discussions and speculations there, and [[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|only use the wiki talk pages for article-related discussions]].)

----

'''''STOP UNNECESSARY [[Help:A Guide to Piping|PIPING]].'''''

----

'''Notice''': Stop putting '''conjecture or theories''' into main pages. Stop '''outright insulting Chris'''; he's terrible, we know.

----
Have thoughts on the quality of the CWCki? Participate in the [[CWCki:General#The_CWCki_Quality_Review|CWCki Quality Review]].

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= Use it wrong, and die.}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Pixelblocks

2012-11-23T19:27:31Z

ReiDemon: Removed broken image and useless section.

{{quote|PixelBlocks are pixels made physical and set free from the computer screen. They allow the young at heart of all ages to use their creativity in endless ways.|The Pixelblocks slogan, proving that their product is aimed at retards.}}

[[Image:0656-ANIME059.JPG|Oh God, he even brought them on his trip to an [[Anime Mid-Atlantic|anime con]]?|thumb]]
'''Pixelblocks''' are a construction toy, similar to [[Lego]], except that Pixelblocks come in only one size and shape of brick, which can be attached together in all three dimensions. The principle behind Pixelblocks is that you can assemble these uniform pieces into any form imaginable, just as a television screen can display any image using millions of different color pixels.

Consequently, one of the common applications of Pixelblocks is to make sprites of classic video game characters. For example, if you wanted to make a model of Sonic the Hedgehog to hang up on your wall, you could buy enough blue and white Pixelblocks and make it yourself. Or, if you wanted to customize your Sonic, maybe make him yellow, with a Pikachu tail...

Basically, Pixelblocks are another way for [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] to crowbar his fantasies into reality, just like drawing [[Sonichu (comic)|shitty comics]], homemade ''[[Yu-gi-oh!]]'' cards, customizable video games like ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' and ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', and so on. Until holodecks are invented, the only way Chris can hang out with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in real life is to build him, and Pixelblocks provide a way to do that.

It's worth noting that Chris, having no idea that Pixelblocks can even function in the third dimension, never makes 3D sculptures with them. (He is capable of using Lego to build 3D structures.)

==Stuff Chris has built from Pixelblocks==

While a full survey of Chris's bedroom is difficult at best, one can spot a few Pixelblock constructs hanging on the walls in his [[YouTube]] videos. Among them:

<center>
<gallery>
Image:507-CWCsPixelSubstitute.JPG|A substitute of Chris, who appears to be sporting an [[Niggos|Afro]].
Image:508-HeartTorch.JPG|[[Heart Torch of Fail]].
Image:509-SonichuAndRosechuPixel.JPG|Sonichu and Rosechu, with [[Sonic]] looking on.
Image:510-PixelBlockCharacters.JPG|Sprites of [[Nintendo|Mario, Link and Samus]]. What's sad is they look better than anything Chris can draw.
</gallery>
</center>

==Pixelblocks in ''Sonichu''==
Pixelblocks appeared twice in [[Sonichu 4]]. According to Chris's own diary entries, he would play with them at [[Wal-Mart]], so this may be why he used them in the comics adapting his confrontations with the Manajerks there.

In ''[[Sub-Episode 4]]'', [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] constructed a decoy of himself to confuse [[B-Manajerk]]. When he struck the decoy with his battle axe, the blow sent Pixelblocks flying into his face, injuring him.

In ''[[Sub-Episode 5]]'', the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] revealed that Chris could use his [[Medallions of Fail#The Sonichu Medallion|Sonichu Medallion]] to imbue special powers to the [[Heart Torch of Fail|Heart Torch]], a Pixelblock model he had constructed. Chris followed his advice, and used the empowered Heart Torch to summon his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|dream sibling]], who helped him defeat the [[W-M-Manajerk]].

==External links==
*[http://www.pixelblocks.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/pbonline Official Pixelblocks website]

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Special Attacks]][[Category:Toys]]

List of restaurants

2012-11-20T00:17:08Z

ReiDemon: /* Chick-fil-A */ This is admittedly quite poor on my part, but the last hanging paragraph added nothing. Someone please fix?

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Chris]] isn't much of a cook, nor is anyone else currently living at [[14 Branchland Court]]. When he's not eating reheated frozen dinners, he's usually chowing down at a variety of local '''restaurants'''.

== Burger King ==
{{main|Burger King}}
Chris favors McDonald's, while [[Bob]] preferred its rival Burger King. Thus, Chris usually ate here when he was out with his father.

== Chick-fil-A ==

[[Image:ChickFilA.jpg|thumb|right|Admittedly, the store might've been a [[Chris and writing|literary influence.]]]]

'''Chick-fil-A''' is a fast-food restaurant chain originating in the American south that Chris frequents, famous for its chicken sandwiches and always being closed on Sundays (due to their founder's Christian "seventh day of rest" beliefs). Chick-fil-A is generally considered to be one of the healthier fast food options;<ref>http://health.yahoo.com/experts/eatthis/11230/americas-bestand-worstrestaurants</ref> however, Chris has mentioned it much less often than its [[Chris and health|artery-clogging]] big brother, [[McDonald's]]. The reason for this is unknown; possibilities include its lack of marketing campaigns aimed at children, a lack of foolish sweepstakes or [[My Coke Rewards|"reward programs"]]. Thus, Chris has never been banned from a Chick-fil-A in an [[Sonichu 3#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|epic showdown]] battling [[jerkops]]. Even when the company came under fire for its founder's anti-[[Homos|gay]] views and its involvements in "family values" movements, both of which would likely endear to Chris, it appears this has not caused the franchise to be more popular in Chris's eyes.

===Appearances===
*Chris met up with [[Emily]] in front of the Chick-fil-A at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. [[Apology to Emily|Or at least tried to by calling out to the patrons (who were undoubtedly amused and perplexed)]].

*The Fashion Square Chick-fil-A was the site of one of the missed meetings between Chris and [[Surfshack Tito]]'s agents during the drama over destroying Chris's [[PS3]].

*The [[CWCville Shopping Center]] includes a lone Chick-Fil-A on the 2nd floor.

== Country Cookin ==

'''Country Cookin''' — spelled without a "G" or an apostrophe (because poor literacy is kewl!) — is [[Christian]]'s not-quite-fast-food restaurant of choice. It is a Virginia-based chain of rustic steak house/buffet and grill restaurants, akin to [[Golden Corral]], ''Roadhouse Grill'' or ''Ponderosa/Bonanza Steakhouse'' in the US, and ''Harvester'', ''Beefeater'' or ''Brewer's Fayre'' in the [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|United Kingdom]].

He has mentioned it on several occasions and even has taken his troll friend [[Joshua Martinez]] there.

===References by Chris===
* In an e-mail conversation with [[Anna McLerran]] from 2007, Chris mentioned his regular trips to the restaurant with Joshua.
* In [[Mumble 2]], Chris mentioned Country Cookin as one of his favorite restaurants.
* A Country Cookin branch is located in the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].

== Golden Corral ==

'''Golden Corral''' is an all-you-can-eat buffet chain, well-known in the American South and Midwest as ''the'' place to go for a maximum ratio of calories consumed to cash expended. Just don't think too much about where it all came from. During Chris's [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|date with Emily]], [[Bob]] mentions that he had a heart attack there while paying for the family's meal.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Bob.27s_health_problems_revisited_.2829:59_-_32:11.29</ref> Despite this, it was one of Chris's favorite places to eat, probably since he could [[obesity|stuff his face]] with fatty, low quality food at a [[Chris and money|low price]]. However, the Charlottesville branch went out of business in 2010<ref>http://www.dailyprogress.com/news/article_65967a91-e979-5f58-9c05-093af6241996.html</ref> and is now a [[China|Chinese]] buffet.<ref>http://www.yelp.com/biz/hibachi-grill-supreme-buffet-charlottesville</ref>

===References by Chris===
*[[Caitlin]], a waitress Chris had a crush on for a day or so, worked at Golden Corral.
*In [[Mumble 2]], he mentioned that it's one of his favorite places to eat.
*Describing his ideal date spots in an [[IRC (18 December 2008)|IRC chat]], Chris proposed Golden Corral as a second-date destination.
*Chris's visits to the Corral with his family seem to be tightly scheduled. In a [[MySpace]] conversation from 04 September 2005, he noted that they'd be there from 3:30 to 4:45 the next day.
*Perhaps because of that precise schedule, or perhaps because he was simply overwhelmed by [[stress]], during his final [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13|Skype conversation with BlueSpike]] Chris unexpectedly abandoned the conversation to take off for the Corral.
*In his profile at [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Cafe]] he lists it as his favorite restaurant.

==McDonald's==
{{main|McDonald's}}
Chris's cheap-and-easy fast food of choice. When he wanted to cut down on his Big Mac and McNugget intake, he stopped eating there... more than twice a week or so.

== Sheetz ==
Sheetz is a chain of gas station/mini-mart stores based in Pennsylvania with stores in five other states (including Virginia) in the United States. Among the chain's selling points is an array of fast food options.

===References by Chris===
*Chris ended [[Mumble 5]] by saying he needed to duck out to Sheetz to get his mother a sandwich.
*In the e-mail revealing the [[muscle bra]], Chris mentioned that he'd sought a job application at Sheetz.
*While chatting with [[Sarah May Skype Logs|Sarah May]] in February 2009, Chris noted a trip to Sheetz for gasoline.
*Attempting to defend his dietary choices in one of the [[Kacey Call 8|Kacey phone calls]], Chris claimed that he enjoyed fruit smoothies from Sheetz (which can easily crack 600 calories apiece).[[File:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|right|Note he ordered no [[pickles]]]]

== Sonic ==
Sonic is a drive-in fast food chain that Chris has eaten at in the past. It is coincidently the same name as our autistic hero's
[[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite video game franchise]].
===References by Chris===
* During the [[Ohio trip]], Chris dined at Sonic's, eating a hamburger with mayonnaise, and a lemonberry slushie "made from real fruit."<ref>[[Sarah May Skype Logs]]</ref>

==References==
<references/>

{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Blanca Weiss

2012-11-16T17:40:11Z

ReiDemon: /* FCTC */ Grammar and such.

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:BW.PNG|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Blanca Weiss
|-
| '''Alias'''
| KawaiiKitsune123 Ami B-Chan
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
|}

{{quote|Blanca is real. I talked to her. Yeah, she called me. So, uh, as for the person who, uh, as for the jerk who, uh, posed with the ay... KawaiiKitsune name? If I knew who you were, I'd give you a kick in da bawls.|Chris on Blanca, [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|13 September 2008]]}}

{{quote|Rest assured she [Blanca] is not a troll, so nobody say otherwise. I have talked to her on webcam and video--and, uh, audio and have heard her voice over mic--over her microphone, to my speakers and headphones.|Chris on Blanca, [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|9 October 2008]]}}

'''Blanca Weiss''' (a.k.a. '''Ami B-Chan''', '''KawaiiKitsune123''') was the identity assumed by [[trolls]] who posed as [[Chris]]'s [[sweetheart]] in order to get one thing: the [[Medallion of Fail]].

The group pulling the strings was a trio of [[YouTube]] trolls. Two of them, going by the handles RickyRicardo123 and Nurse Icky-chan, talked to Chris via IM and telephone respectively. The third, Ickeriss69, received the package containing the medallions (as well as the enclosed [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|love letter]]) and uploaded the videos of the Sonichu medallion being destroyed.

{{Infobox/Galpal
| name = Autistic
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}
| Stardate = 20 October 2008
| Maker = [[Blanca]]
| Subject = [[Medallion of Fail]]
| Video Type = Troll
| Other Info = The first Sonichu medallion is destroyed on camera.
}}

Some argue that aside from the medallion destruction, the team behind the "real" Blanca (as opposed to [[Lordsillynipples]], who impersonated her after the original group had created the identity) did nothing except keep Chris to themselves, telling Chris to not make videos, stopping him from releasing content, etc.

Despite many people telling him Blanca is not real, and even after the medallion was destroyed on film, ''Chris still continued to believe Blanca was real.'' He later stated in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]] that the people responsible for destroying the medallion simply lived near Blanca and intercepted the mail.

Since the destruction of the medallions, the three trolls have largely faded into obscurity.

The name Blanca Weiss is just a feminine version of the [[Spanish]] for white (''blanca'') and the German word for white (''Weiß''); Blanca Weiss is literally just white female, Chris's personal preference in sweethearts.

==FCTC==

The trio were good friends with several members of the Fried Chicken Trolling Crew (FCTC), a now-defunct trolling group known for trolling various individuals & groups on youtube. Some photos (read: [[nudes]]) were shown to the FCTC, who later posted the images onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] after posting the group's watermark onto them.

{{quote|there was internal bullshit with the Chris-Chan thing (Ricky, Blanca, and myself were pissed about the watermarks and the fact everything was released before the troll was done yet).|Ickeriss69}}

The group itself later fell out due to internal conflict. It was shortly revived as "Cool Troll Fighting Crew", but this group also later disband. As for Ickeriss69 himself, he went on to temporarily become an admin on [[/cwc/]], but after more controversy this relationship broke off as well.

He still periodically attempts to revive (or kill) CWC trolling, and to this day, he still has Chris's medallions, one of which he offered to the former [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] owner GirlVinyl on the site's five year anniversary.

==Chris gets a clue==

In [[April 2010]], Chris published a [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|page]] on the [[CWCipedia]] with a list of many of the women he has known in his life. Blanca is conspicuously absent from the list, but he mentions her briefly in the entry on [[Sarah Jackson]]. Of all the sweethearts he's met online, Blanca and [[Sydney_Contacts|Sydney]] are apparently the only ones that Chris has been able to successfully identify as a troll.

It should be noted though that while Chris might have figured out that Blanca was a troll, he still failed to [[Chris and reality|realize she wasn't a real person]]. In [[December 2009]] Chris uploaded a [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|"correction"]] of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page; in it, he writes that he "[D]umped [Blanca's] sorry ass after that misdeed; I had trusted her."

==The many faces of Blanca==

<center><gallery>
Image:BlancaFake01.jpg|The "original" Blanca, which Chris would base his depiction of Blanca in the comic.
Image:BlancaFake02.jpg|Another known image of "Blanca."
Image:Blancaglasses.jpg|"Totally me. TOTALLY."
Image:Blanca1258.jpg|"Actually, she does look more like I do."
Image:SchuComic8P69.jpg|Blanca, depicted with her fan character [[Jiggliami]] as they discuss how Chris is stuck in the [[Time Void]], is based off this Aryan version of Blanca.
</gallery></center>

==Related images==

<center><gallery>
Image:CWCletter.jpg|Letter enclosed with the Medallions, with Chris believing that Blanca was his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart
Image:BWDA01-001.jpg|Blanca signs up for [[DeviantArt]]
Image:BWSkype01-001.jpg|...and Skype
Image:BWSkype01-002.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[CWC Fighter]]

==External links==
*[http://kawaiikitsune123.deviantart.com/ Blanca's DeviantArt account]

{{BlancaSaga}}

{{Love quest}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Weiss, Blanca}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Blanca Saga]]

Facebook

2012-11-07T06:34:04Z

ReiDemon: Undo revision 163590 by Murderdartxker (talk): ...why?

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 2 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]]. Since then, he has left occasional open notes for trolls and talked to his gal-pals, most frequently [[Anna]]. He also has an album dedicated to screenshots of the [[CWCki Forums]], proving that, although he has generally not associated with the trolls much throughout [[2012]], he still feels the need to [[Chris and his Ego|obsessively check what other people are saying about him on a regular basis]].
==Notes From The Man Himself==

===I am a good man===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm

There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.

Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
}}

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm

When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
}}

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===

{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm

Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.

Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
}}

===What I am looking for in a woman===

(note: this note was posted on the same day [[Bob]] died)

{{quotebox|1=
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
}}

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm

'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
}}

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===

{{quotebox|1=
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm

I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
}}

===An Open Note===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm

I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]

The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.

You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
}}

===An Open Note (4/13/2012)===

(note: while it was once a public note, it has either been removed or set to private)

{{quotebox|1=
Friday, [[April 2012|April 13, 2012]] at 10:08pm

It is true, I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had sexual intercourse with a lovely woman Wednesday, April 4, 2012. There is nothing inconceivable about it from the lovely lady and I having the pleasant conversation, exchanging phone numbers, and the very pleasant experience between her and I behind the closed doors at her place. Penile/Vaginal intercourse, Cuddling and Blowing have all taken place.

[[Ego|I do not require any congratulations]] or communications towards any discussions of the details, because I will never tell the full story anywhere online, and certainly anyone I do not, and have not, known personally and In Person.

And to all who continue to pick on and torture me, this is one thing that will ONLY be in your own [[Lie|self-fabricated theories and fables]]; you will never get the full story. And your reign of terror will only result in mockery towards your own Troll/Cyber-Bully kind. You all have my pity towards your [[Chris and remorse|selfish]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|demoralizing]], [[28_October_2011#Aftermath|incriminating]], [[Virgin With Rage|lonely]], [[Chris and Anger|hate-for-hate's-sake-filled jealousy and hatred]], and whatever [[Autism|mental and emotional issues]] you each likely suffer from.

You Trolls, Get A Life.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
4/13/2012
}}

===to @cogsdev from me, @CWCSonichu===

{{quotebox|1=
Monday [[April 2012|April 16, 2012]] at 4:21am

Heh. Heh. Heh. ;:j

I am watching YOU, foolish Cyber-Bullies. I LAUGH at your ill idiosyncratic discussions and [[Ego|thinking you all are better than me]]. If you are better, Why have you NOT Learned any Maturity for yourselves. It is wrong to continuously [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|laugh at people with a disability]], and their mistakes, because [[Chris and Reality|the tables turn on the laughing bully and troll]].

[[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|I am in your dreams]], haunting you for your aiding and abeting towards your sole hate-filled reasons, [[Chris and English|jealosies and lackluster purposes]] against me and my family and friends.

You ALL will pay for your Crimes and Sins of Cyber-Bullying the [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|once innocent]] good people and myself. Changing your avatar and screen name and website are all useless, because I Can And Will Find YOU again and again, and I will continue to Laugh at you all and your immature idiosyncries.

HA HA HA.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>This note will be removed from here after being copied or screencapped.<ref>http://789chan.org/cwc/src/13346684418.jpg</ref>
}}

===Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.===

{{quotebox|1=
Wednesday, 25 April 2012 at 17:45

In my humble opinion, I actually like [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_Is_Magic_characters#Derpy|Derpy]] for her name, given I feel the new voice is an improvement; her name is still very cute. I take no offense whatsoever to the word. I first heard the word from [[Wikipedia:The Biggest Douche in the Universe|an episode]] of "[[South Park]]"; I thought it was only gibberish, and it was funny.

Derpy should still be a featured character, because let's face it, NOBODY, or NOPONY, is mentally perfect, and it is a character like Derpy here that makes us all aware of mental disabilities, great (low-functioning) or small (high-functioning) to tolerate them and help them towards better self-confidence, because [[Chris and reality|we ALL need to feel like we are capable of surviving in this world, community and all public and social situations.]]

I, Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], VA, [[USA]], respect and like Derpy, and I encourage [[Wikipedia:Lauren Faust|Lauren Faust]], [[Wikipedia:Amy Keating Rogers|Amy Keating Rogers]], and the rest of the [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] crew to keep her on WITH her name, and create an episode teaching tolerance.

Christian Weston Chandler.
April 25, 2012

MLP: FiM - Derpy Talks and Derps
www.youtube.com
UPDATE! Derpy has been removed as canon from this episode. Whether it is permanent or not is not yet known. To see why, click this link to an e-mail the writ...

[[File:Saved.jpg]]

<nowiki>http://www.savederpy.com</nowiki>
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
And what's more good, I have the Original Episode recorded as well from when it aired on [[Wikipedia:The Hub (TV channel)|the Hub]] on Janurary 21, 2012 on my DVR. I really like Derpy. Although I take back what I said about the new voice; the Original Voice IS Better.
}}

===I have decided===
{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, 26 [[April 2012]] at 19:35

The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping Center]] in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my [[Sweetheart Search]] with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily starting this Saturday, April 27, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and [[Mimms|Photographs]] are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the [[Random-access humor|Hippo on my Head]].

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

{{quotebox|1=
The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily '''(Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) starting this Saturday, April 28, 2012''' fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. '''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)'''

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
I meant the 28th; it was my mistake in judgment at the time of typing up this Note.}}

===Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D===
28 April 2012
{{quotebox|1=

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

You, ALL of YOU, Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, You all are SOO [[Chris and the Law|Fallible]], [[Jackie|Gullible]], [[Death_threat#Chris_as_recipient|Paranoia-Prone]], [[Chris and Fashion|Clownish]], [[14 Branchland Court|At the Bottom of the Heap]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Stupid]] [[Tomgirl Pictures|FOOLS]]. For I, Christian Weston Chandler, have [[Chris and Reality|FOOLED the VAST Majority of You All]] (not counting those who have posted their own Suspicions). YES, YES, YES! I HAVE been reading your [[Christian Weston Chandler|comically inept]] and crackpot theoretical posts on your Forum. NOTHING IS Private to and of you fools. ;8j

To preface, I will enlighten your puny minds straightforward. I HAD no intention, purpose, or Ability to go to Fashion Square At All on today the 28th. Do you want to know why? OH, you all are soo impresionable. On the 31st of March, I was really having a bad day, what with the upcoming court date on the 4th of April and all. I was feeling very irritable then. I was walking the mall peacefully, but with the stress in my head. I answer a few calls from a troll or two, just to give you all a piece of my anger. Yes, Yes, LAUGH and SCOFF all you want. My answers were cursory and loud. Overheard, YES, I was chased by Jerkops. But I did not receive the yellow slip until the 25th of April that said, "BANNED". So, I later decided to pull a prank on YOU ALL. The elaborate Facebook Note; LETTING YOU ALL shoot yourselves in the foot more by Prank Calling the Mall, and their latest Manager, Mr. Weiner (his name was on the slip, next to "Manager"). I too scoff at his [[Pickle|small-sausage name.]] All I had to do was stay at home with doors locked, and let you all argue and fight it out. I read your posts and laughed and laughed at EVERYTHING you thought was true or what was false; theories and [[Honor roll|mistaken "facts".]]

You all THINK you know me, but you REALLY DO NOT, and You All JUST DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL. And as long as your Purpose of Knowing Me consists of that of Gossip Columnist or Worse, Trolling, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, [[Megan|Abuse]], or anything of Malcontent, [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|I Do NOT want you to Know Me EVER]].

In the END, you ALL have played Right Into My Hands, like me overlooking the battlefield and picking up/placing you all one by one into the BOMBING RANGE CENTER! I am a LOT more [[Slow-in-the-mind|INTELLIGENT]], [[Autism|WISE]] and [[Naive|KNOWLEDGEABLE]] than your puny minds can theorize; I am NOT STUPID, nor am I a moron. And you know what? [[Chris and Hypocrisy|YOU ALL Have MADE Me This Way; CRAZY and PARANOID with Loss of PEACE OF MIND.]]

I am [[Creepy stare|WATCHING]] each and every one of you Fallible Trolls, and [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|REST-ASSURED]], [[Lie|I know where each of you live, and I am Coming After Each of You All!]]

YES, It was ME, and these posts WERE Real.

Sincerely,

Christian Weston Chandler

4/28/2012

<nowiki>**</nowiki>More Photos and Comments are in the appropriate Photo Album of mine, "[[Cwcki Forum ScreenCaps]]".
}}

===I am still Reading Your Posts, Suckas===
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 30 April 2012 at 01:41

And to quell one question. "[[JenkinsJinkies]]" "[[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_Everyone.21_J.J._has_arrived._.28Thu_29_July_2010_12:19_AM.29|camp story]]"; FAKE as any of y'all's sarcastic responses. The idea for that pile of crap I typed just to [[Chris and Reality|convince y'all to believe]] originated from [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]'s Parrot; [[Wikipedia:Long John Peter|the episode]] Chris went out with the vet assistant. Polly repeated, "I had a gay experince at camp". [[Rollin' and Trollin'|PUNK'D!!!]]

[[File:Lucrid.jpg]]
}}

===Hey, Trollies===
{{quotebox|1=Tuesday, 1 [[May 2012]] at 5:53

You REALLY want to know what the Victory was for me on the Mall Prank? I'll spell it out for you in a nutshell. I got the BAN note THE DAY BEFORE I made the NOTE on me going back there. You fallible fools had NO PREVIOUS CLUE, neither from me, nor ANYONE or ANYWHERE else. IF you all had prior ban knowledge, Would You who have made the trip, MADE the trip? NO, you would not have. I KNEW THE CRITICAL DETAIL, and YOU ALL DID NOT; I Fooled You All.

And I'll tell you another thing, I DID Have [[Chris and sex|Sexual Intercourse]] with a Half-[[Cherokee]] Woman, but you all will never find out who. I'll give you an inkling; she's somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Village Voice Media|backpage]].

You ALL think YOU KNOW ME; You REALLY DO NOT. I hold MORE information within myself that NONE of you will EVER KNOW. Like, MAYBE I went to a show starring the Hynamin recently. [[Lie|MAYBE I was ON STAGE for one of their demonstrations]]. MAYBE I got their autographs on my self-made [http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Duct-Tape-Wallet duct-tape wallet]. MAYBE I do not have a duct-tape wallet. I will neither confirm or deny anything for YOU life-wrecking bastards.

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

[[Autism|I use that statement in the ironic sense that I am currently informing you that I am not going to tell you anything.]]

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

Good Day,
Christian W. Chandler.
[[May 2012|May 1, 2012]]

P.S. It is now OVER Two-Hundred Screencaps, and Still Counting.}}

Chris's "Hynamin" show is probably a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jamie Hyneman|Jamie Hyneman]]; there was a ''[[Wikipedia:MythBusters|MythBusters]]'' live show in [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]] on 24 [[March 2012]], 100 miles (160 km) from Ruckersville.<ref>[http://www.mythbusterstour.com/washington-tickets/]</ref> Several leaks later would confirm that Chris did attend the ''MythBusters'' tour, but he wasn't chosen to go up on stage.

===Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 5 [[May 2012]] at 6:43

She and I are friends, and we talk, but we each have our own lives. She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. She will never ever talk about me even in her wall posts, and she will never friend or acknowledge any of you. Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my [[mom]] at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a [[Gal-pal|friend.]]

Aim your [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler.

May 3, 2012}}

===Mimms===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 12 [[May 2012]] at 6:35

Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.

Facebook.com/TehRussian

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler

5/12/2012}}

===To The Trolls===
This message was in response to a discussion on the [[CWCki]] forums about a poster campaign on 2 [[June 2012]], alerting the people of [[Charlottesville]] to Chris's degeneracy.<ref>[http://cwcki.forumer.com/c-ville-poster-flyer-campaign-update-t2224624.html]</ref>
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 4 [[June 2012]] at [[Biological clock|02:20]]

I have continued reading your posts and alerting [[Jerkops|the authorities]] of your actions. NOBODY came to my house at all, you lying, cheating [[Trolls|bastards]]. Frankly, I grow tired of continuing to read your [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|shit]] [[lies]], including the biggest hoax of yours, the Poster Campaign. [[Naive|Nobody put up any damn posters or handed out frigging flyers at all]]. I have been [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|reading your posts personally through "trombonista's" account]]; there was NO MOLE.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler
June 4, 2012
}}

===Hey! Damn trolls!===

Clearly cracking under the pressure of being duped by the trolls and [[28 October 2011|his impending arraignment in July]], the once smug Chris degenerates into self-pity even further. Ironically, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris has been guilty of almost every single thing he wants the trolls to stop doing to him.]]

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday 27 [[June 2012]]

Hey! Damn Trolls, Cyber-Bullies, and People ALL Around the Fucking World!!!

Quit [[Homos|HATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Niggos|DISCRIMINATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Megan|HARASSING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Bob|GIVING ME GRIEF]]!!!

Quit [[Death Threats|WANTING ME DEAD]]!!!

Quit [[Michael Snyder|BAD-MOUTHING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Twitter|BLOGGING]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|HAVING FORUMS]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[CWCki|HAVING WEBSITES AND WEBPAGES]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[6 June 2010|PHOTOGRAPHING]] and [[Clyde_is_Weaker_than_Water|PHOTOSHOPPING]] Me!!!

Quit [[ShecameforCWC|DRAWING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Lars%27_Ship_Has_Sunk|MOCKING]] Me!!!

Quit MAKING ME LOOK [[Naive|STUPID]], [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|DUMB]], [[Slow-in-the-mind|RETARDED]], [[Twin Falling Towers|EVIL]], [[Sonichu Special 4|VILLIANOUS]], [[Strangle that Clyde Cash|BLOOD-THIRSTY]], [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|MURDEROUS]], [[White_knight#Chris_is_not_a_good_net_citizen|UNSOCIABLE]], [[Father Call|UNCARING]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNEMPATHETIC]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNCOMPASSIONATE]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers|HATABLE]], [[Chris and Race|DETESTABLE]], [[Chris and Anger|IRRITABLE]], [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|CRAPPED-ON]], [[CWCki|ETCETERA, ETCETERA, FUCKING ETCETERA]]!!!

Quit [[Chris and his Ego#Fishing For Sympathy|MAKING ME MISERABLE, DEPRESSED, LONELY, SAD, and HATEFUL OF MY OWN LIFE]]!!!

Just QUIT IT, and LEAVE ME AND MY LIFE ALONE AND [[Chris and English|TO BE]]!!!!!!!

}}

In this post's comment section, [[Anna]] suggested Chris to change his phone number resulting in this conversation:

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday, 27 [[June 2012]]
Fighta Jet Lopez: Solution: do not use the internet anymore, and change your phone number. It's either that, or this continues forever. That's just the nature of the trolls.

Christian Weston Chandler: I can NOT change my number; TOO Much are linked to it, and I do not remember EVERY Last important person/company linked. Plus it is on my business cards.

Fighta Jet Lopez: But you don't have a business, and how many calls do you get that aren't from trolls?

Christian Weston Chandler: Firstly, I don't need to have a business to have business cards with my contact info and [[3DS]] Mii QR code and Mii image on them. Second [[Ego|I get all of the important calls for this household these days]]; I can not afford a new number.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:June27.png</ref>
}}

=== You WILL be brought in! ===

One day following his [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|arraignment]], Chris updated to confirm that the account of his trial given by Cyan and Indigo were true, save for a minor detail about the exact words he used against Michael Snyder. He then stated that Rob confronted the "trolls" and that they would be brought in no matter where they were, which is an empty threat since nothing illegal was done.

As usual, [[Anna]] chimes in with "A small victory!" as a reply to this post, proving that, once again, she's an enabling kiss-ass with no constructive advice for Chris, even after he could have landed in jail for his own actions.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 11 [[July 2012]]

Yep, the trolls know most of what went on in the court room yesterday; it is confirmed that two of them were in there, going by the online names of "Cyan" and "Indigo". Rob recognized them both, and informed them that their trolling stupid presence is noted and known. I have also found their transcribed, personal reports on the Cwcki Forum, and they have a 23 second video on YouTube of them driving by the courthouse and holding up the day's "New York Times" paper, titled "CyanIndigo", same as their account name. And they quoted me in calling Snyder "thieving and lying"; I had actually said "Bribing and lying".

Anyway, we ALL know of them, and they will be brought in regardless of currently being in Or outside of Virginia or even the United States of America.
}}

=== Stop sending me friend requests! ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 8 [[October 2012]]

I am not going to tell you all again; DO NOT SEND ME ANY FRIEND REQUESTS If I Do NOT Already Know You Personally and/or If I Have Never Met You In Person!!! And Do Not EVER Message me if I have Never Known You EVER!!!}}

To the surprise of no one, Anna encouraged Chris's rage with a "You tell 'em, Christian!" Additionally, [[Savannah Chandler]] liked Chris's status and Anna's comment, suggesting that she may be aware of her uncle's Internet infamy.

=== Please forgive me! ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 21 [[October 2012]]
I send out this message to all people, especially the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies on the Internet.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, am guilty of a lot of things that have been mistakenly uploaded and leaked online; I have for a long time been stricken and made beyond crestfallen by the repercussions of my actions and words. And great mockery and egging has befallen me for years now, and it seriously needs to stop now. There are no "laughs" longer to be made at my expense, and the running gag is at the end of its tracks. It is better to Forgive and Forget, as told by Jesus, our lord, and is the way of our almighty God. So to everybody who has felt wronged with stuff I have done in the past, I am really, sincerely sorry. All I ask is for everybody's forgiveness and for everybody to forget my mistakes, errors, everything. Please, just forget about me in total; please, disband all online groups and individual hatreds against me; please, remove everything about me off of the Internet, your minds, and your hearts.}}

On October 9th 2012 screen captures of some of Chris's private posts from 2012 were leaked revealing Chris's conflicts with [[manajerks]] at [[McDonalds]] and a trip to Washington DC to see a Myth Busters live show. Also included was an attempt to dox [[Megan Schroeder]] due to a belief that she started the trolling as a means of playing kick the autistic.

==iOS==
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page read that he recently installed the Facebook app for the iPhone, which suggests that he purchased an iPhone or iPod touch. The resolution of some of his more [[:File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png|recent]] [[:File:Difficult_time_lady.jpg|photos]] also fuel this suggestion. <ref>[[:File:Screen_shot_2012-05-08_at_2.18.33_PM.png|Screenshot]]</ref>

The "CyanIndigo" screenshot in Chris's post-arraignment message sports a status bar with the "nTelos" name on top. Given that nTelos is a regional cell phone carrier in the Charlottesville, VA area, this all but confirms that Chris has indeed [[Chris and money|wasted even more taxpayer money on expensive luxuries he does not need]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, Part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, Part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, Part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another Facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012.
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests.
File:Chfb1.png| February leak Part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak Part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak Part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak Part 4
File:Cwc.png|February leak Part 5
File:61013333.jpg|Full size Picture of Drawing.
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
File:Ufr.PNG|Another public note.
File:DoubleDogDare.png|Chris double dog daring the intruder of his facebook.
File:Derpy.PNG|The first brony speaks.
File:FSM2.PNG|Chris's master trolling attempt.
File:Noet chris knows now about us.png|Great Director is watching you.
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks Lucrid.
File:Trollies.PNG|Chris fucked a hooker.
File:HeyDoofs.PNG|Chris white knighting [[Anna]].
File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png| A profile picture as of May 8th,2012.
File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png
File:Screen shot 2012-05-08 at 2.18.33 PM.png
File:Koreans.PNG| Chris on Eastern Cuisine.
File:Train wreck.JPG
File:Chris whines about ponies.JPG| Chris whining after seeing [[My Little Pony]] related "Dark Parodies." He takes particular offense at the tomboyish Rainbow Dash being killed.
File:Chris hates dark humor.png| Rant about the effect seeing the MLP parodies had on him.
File: difficult time lady.jpg| Photo Chris took of an elderly black woman who he claimed gave him a "difficult time".
File:Fbp2.png| Chris approves of this depiction of [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]].
File:Fbp3.png| Chris continues to make [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] unfunny.
File:Fbp4.png
File:Fbp5.png
File:Fbp6.png| Chris believes a Burger King employee to be a troll who is using his cell phone to communicate with others of "his kind".
File:Fbp7.png
File:Fbp8.png| Chris goes to see the Mythbusters, but is not picked for the Q&A.
File:Fbp9.png| No comments from Chris, and yes, even Anna is speechless.
File:Fbp10.png| Chris accuses Megan of being a troll nearly five years after the fact.
File:Fbp11.png| Nice to see [[Lego]]s haven't gone anywhere.
File:Fbp12.png| Barb with Chris at Mythbusters tour.
File:Chris Long Hair.jpg| A profile pic as of October 19th, 2012, showing Chris has grown his hair longer.
File:CWC Shampoo.jpg| Chris uses [[wikipedia:Garnier Fructis|Garnier Fructis]] Shampoo and Conditioner.
File:CWC Approved.jpg| Timeline cover art
File:1021fb.png|An Appeal to Humanity.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==References==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

HEXbox

2012-09-27T16:08:59Z

ReiDemon: Fixing double redirect.

#REDIRECT [[HEXBox]]

Kim Wilson

2012-06-01T18:56:50Z

ReiDemon: Sigh.

: ''"Kim" redirects here. For Chris's blow-up doll, see [[Kimmi]].''

[[Kim Wilson]] is a [[gal pal]] of Chris. She was first mentioned in [[Kacey Call 1]], and much of what is known of her comes from references in the [[Kacey calls]]. In [[2009]], Kim was regularly calling Chris at 10 P.M.<ref>[[Kacey Call 8]]</ref>

Under the moniker [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum] (her YouTube username<ref name="Kacey 1" />) Kim served as a judge for the [[SingStar Challenge]],<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3#31 July]]</ref> where she voted in favor of [[Solid Chris]].<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eNmvI0DZjI]</ref>

==Introduction to Chris and Kacey==
Prior to the Kacey calls, Kim had been emailing Chris, helping him get into [[Liquid Chris]]'s email account.<ref name="Father">[[Father Call]]</ref> In an effort to establish herself as a non-[[boyfriend free girl]], she told him she was with a tough dude named Logan, and together they had two German shepherds.<ref name="Kacey 1">[[Kacey Call 1]]</ref> Despite this, Chris still thought Kim liked him, and asked Kacey to ask her what she thought of him. This was in spite of the fact that Chris claimed "I respect her space very much."<ref>[[Kacey Call 3]]</ref> After Chris gave Kim's email address to Kacey, the two became friends.<ref>[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]</ref>

==Interactions==
In [[August 2009]], Kim asked Chris to share his [[PSN]] information with her, to which he happily gave up his username and password, resulting in his PSN account getting hacked.<ref>[[Kacey Call 4]]</ref>

By [[September 2009]], Kim was regularly calling Chris. It was Kim's suggestion that Chris get a [[sports bra]] for exercising, prompting Chris to purchase one.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref> That month, Chris also sent her the pictures of him with [[Hambeast]], as well as the picture of him in the sports bra.<ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref><ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref> He also told her he had an insecurity over [[penis]] size.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> While Chris ignored her suggestion to do a [[Sonichu]] [[cosplay]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 22]]</ref>, he would later cosplay as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. She failed at getting Chris to give her his [[PS3]], under the guise that her boyfriend was a professional who could debug it.<ref>[[Kacey Call 18]]</ref>

It was Kim who told Chris that [[Regina]] could just be "a whole bunch of misunderstandings", instead of a troll.<ref name="Kacy24">[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref>

==Attempts to improve Chris==
Like Kacey, Kim actually tried to get Chris to improve his life. She was asking Chris to eat right and [[exercise]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref>, to stop [[sigh]]ing and saying "whatever", take his Lego city apart<ref name="Kacy24">[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref>, learn to play the guitar<ref>[[Kacey Call 14]]</ref>, and gave him a mock job interview, in hopes that he'd find a job.<ref>[[Kacey Call 19]]</ref> Of course none of these happened.

==Real-life encounters==
Kim might have already encountered Chris by the summer of [[2009]]. In a chat with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] from [[April 2009|22 April]] Chris talked about meeting [[Joshua Martinez|Joshua]] at the mall along with a girl named Kim,<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 7]]</ref> although it is not known whether it was Kim Wilson or not. The only information discernible about the Kim mentioned in the chat is that she was not previously familiar to Chris (he had a slight trouble recalling her name) and that he was somewhat sexually interested in her ("[Kim] was cute and sexy, but I still remain devoted to my Sweetest [[Ivy]]").

At one point, Chris met Kim in person, going to an Applebees with her and Kacey.<ref name="Father" />

On [[June 2009]] a number of [[Chris's Big Night Out|videos of Chris interacting in public]] were uploaded to the YouTube account [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum], which as Chris has confirmed belongs to Kim.<ref name="Kacey 1" /> Anoter series of [[Chris's Big Night Out II|similar videos]] was released by the same account on [[July 2009]]. However it is not known if the girl heard in Chris's Big Night Out part I and II is Kim or whether or not she was even present during the filming of said videos.

Presuming that the girl featured in Chris's Big Night Out is indeed Kim would mean that part II was shot long before its release on July, as the girl in the video talks about hiding from Chris the fact that she's in a relationship, and yet Chris was already aware that Kim had a boyfriend named Logan by 15 June 2009.<ref name="sorry" />

==Mentions in videos==
In [[June 2009]], after Chris created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', an upset Kim forced Chris to create the apology video
''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', in which Chris insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Kim claimed to be upset because her boyfriend had a gay brother who lost both his arms in Iraq.<ref name="sorry">[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]</ref>

Chris mentions Kim in his [[August 2009]] video, [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]], in which Chris states that Kim brought it to his attention that his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] of [[Liquid Chris]] was too harsh of a punishment.<ref>[[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]</ref>

In the [[Autism Tutorial]]s Chris made several mentions of a gal-pal of him named "Mic". Considering his [[Naitsirch|fondness]] [[Slaweel|for anagrams]], it is not unlikely to assume that Mic is a code name for Kim. In his first mention of Mic Chris bemoans her unwillingness to move him out of her [[friend zone]].<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]</ref> If she is really Kim this suggest that at some point she broke up with Logan, as Chris would probably not try to take things with the her to next level if she wasn't [[Boyfriend Free Girl|boyfriend free]].

In his last mention of Mic Chris says that they do not often hang out with each other due to Mic being busy.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]</ref> It might be that Mic/Kim is trying to avoid Chris in order to not get touched by him the same way [[Megan]] was.

==References==
<references/>

{{Sweethearts}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Wilson, Kim}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:People]]

HippoOnYourHead

2012-05-27T00:49:05Z

ReiDemon:

[[File:You've got a hippo on your head.jpg|thumb|It stops making sense after this point.]]

'''[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D7F00037B5A_000?in=user HippoOnYourHead]''' is Chris's third [[Flipnote Hatena]] animation, uploaded to his profile on 24 [[June 2010]]. This flipnote is Chris's first attempt in the program that features an actual narrative, as opposed to just being an [[UltimateNightmare|animation test]] or [[Don'tGetTrolled!|blatant theft]]. It also sets the basic tone that future flipnotes would conform to: stick figures joylessly acting out "funny" scenes. Chris assuming that he's such a master of [[random access humor|comedy]], decided to put "some" effort into his videos. Many of his sock puppet accounts gave him positive reviews of his flip note video, so it's completely unclear how many [[gal pal|people]] actually watched this video.

This is not the first time Chris has brought up hippos on heads as something he believes is funny. He first brought up this [[random-access humor]] when he edited the [[ED]] page. In the [[Regina e-mails#Random access humor demonstration|Regina e-mails]] it was all but pointed out to him how terribly unfunny it truly was. A leaked post by [[Chris]]<ref>[[:File:FSM2.PNG|"EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus"]]</ref> sheds some light into what he might consider funny about this joke: the hippo is a reference to the brain's [[Wikipedia: Hippocampus|hippocampus]].

Chris also mentions a "Buck Williams"; it is unclear whether this refers to the [[Bionic|basketball player]], the character in [[Chris and religion|post-Rapture]] novel series ''[[Wikipedia: Left Behind|Left Behind]]'', or if it's simply another made-up name made for the sake of his sense of humour.

The Flipnote ends with Chris begging for stars, which are essentially Flipnote Hatena's e-penis measurement system, which proves that even "off the [[Internet]]", Chris still wants his [[fanbase]] to do him favors.
{{-}}

==Description==

{{quotebox|Yep, if a Hippo IS on your [[Chris and english|had]], you will likely become flat as paper. LOL. A Silly, [[Random-access humor|Random]] piece from C.W.C. with no meaning whatsoever. }}

== Video ==

{{Infobox/Flipnote
| name = HippoOnYourHead
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0oME_VeGVZo}}
| stardate = 24 [[June 2010]]
| previous = [[Don'tGetTrolled]]
| next = [[RandomHumor1Part1]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

[[File:Praiseme.png|thumb|If you don't, I'll be forced to give myself stars!]]

[''A [[Chris and art|poorly-drawn]] boy and girl stand facing each other, when a hippo spontaneously falls on the boy's head'']

'''Girl:''' Ah! You have a hippo on your head.

'''Boy:''' Yeah.

'''Hippo:''' [[Slow-in-the-minds|Dauhhh!]] [''Walks offscreen'']

'''Boy:''' Well, don't just stand there, write a letter on me!

[''The girl walks over to the flattened boy, picks him up, and starts to write'']

'''Girl:''' Dear Sir, Hello! Signed, [[Wikipedia:Cameron "Buck" Williams|Buck Williams]].

'''Writing:''' If you like decent random humor, please add one green star or a bunch of yellow. CWC. Have a good and safe day. :)

==Sources==
<references/>

[[Category: Flipnote Hatena| 2010-06-24]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, June 2010| 2010-06-24]]

Jackie

2012-05-27T00:45:36Z

ReiDemon: /* Oops, He Did it Again... Again! */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|And you will be safe, as long as I [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|do not talk]] about you at all online|[[Jackie e-mails|Every good show needs some foreshadowing]]}}

{{quote|Just accept that you won't be respected as an adult and that you won't be getting a girlfriend or sex... ever|[[Jackie E-mails 23| Jackie, telling it like it is]]}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:JackSweetheart.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Jacklyn Romy
|-
| '''Nickname'''
| Jackie
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[1987]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
Magazine editor
|-
|}

'''Jacklyn "Jackie" Romy''' is a [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free <s>girl</s>]] [[troll]] whom [[Chris]] met on [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]. She became his [[sweetheart]] from [[April 2010|April]]-[[October 2010]], and Chris made her many videos. According to one of Chris' leaked Facebook statuses in February 2012, he had resumed contact with her, before blocking her that April after a number of private videos Chris made for her were leaked onto the internet. However, in May, he re-friended her on Facebook.

==Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile (Username Luv2Jax)==
[[Image:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg|thumb|"[[Sweetheart]]" in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', note the shirt and bracelet]]
===Sexy sweetie looking for love===

I'm a little shy about this, but here goes... I'm looking for a guy between about 26-30 (I like my guys a little older, just call me [[Bob Chandler|old fashioned]] I guess) who is tall, has an [[Chris and health|athletic build, straight teeth, and a good smile.]] I don't really care what you do so long as you're [[monthly tugboat|driven]]; I care more about a [[Chris and fashion|nice sense of style]] and [[Fridays After Five|outgoing personality]]. I want [[Virgin with rage|someone who doesn't need to be with someone but wants to because he knows how amazing it can be!]]

Things I like to do, let's see... I love to go biking, it'd be nice if you did too. I love to play golf as well. I like to go out afer work, [[McDonalds|go to dinner]], [[SpaghettiRoutine|cook dinner]] together (I LOVE to cook), spend the weekend [[Chris and rape|at my family's cabin]], travel, road trip and have [[Hanky-Panky|sex]]. Lots and lots of sex. (not gonna [[List of Chris's lies|lie]]!) Probably during some of the activities I just listed... I want that chemistry that is so strong, just a kiss can lead to wanting to have sex right then and there...
I suppose you want to know a little about me, hm?

I'm 5'3", slender, I don't [[Tobacky|smoke]] (HATE it) but I [[Chris's Big Night Out|drink]] once in a while. I graduated college last year and I work as an [[Chris and English|editor]] for a magazine. I love every day. [[Sonichu's Edge|I run in road races]]. [[Chris and money|Oh, and I shop]]. [[Rosechu|I shop a LOT.]] :) Most importantly, I want that [[Autism|special]] someone I can share my life with and start [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|a family]] with.

[[Chris and his ego|If you're reading this and you feel like it describes you, I hope you'll email me back!]]

===Characteristics===
Gender: '''Woman''' 
Current Status: '''Single''' 
Looking for: '''Friends, Casual Dating, Long-term Relationship''' 
Body Type: '''Slender, Petite, Curvy''' 
Eyes: '''Hazel''' 
Height: '''5' 03"''' 
Hair Type: '''Red''' 
Age: '''22''' 
Seeks: [[Duck|'''Man for Dating, Man for Friendship''']]

===Profile===
Education: '''College graduate''' 
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian''' 
Religion: '''Unitarian''' 
Political Leanings: '''Independent, Kinky''' 
Neighborhood: '''Charlottesville''' 
City: '''Charlottesville''' 
Occupation: '''Magazine Editor''' 
Have Children: '''No''' 
Want Children: '''[[Crystal Weston Chandler|Yes]]'''

===Habits===
Smoking: '''[[Tobacky|Never]]''' 
Drinking: '''[[Alcohol|Sometimes]]''' 
Drugs: '''Not interested'''

===Personality===
I get around town via: '''[[Son-Chu|Car]], Bycicle, Walk''' 
My dietary preferences are: '''[[Nudes|No red meat]]''' 
I spend my free time: '''Reading, Sex, Creating, Working out, [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Watching movies]], Shopping, Biking, Frisbee Golf''' 
Funniest Thing: '''[[Random Access Humor|A monkey on roller skates]]'''

===Deeper===
'''If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, wo'd be coming?'''
[[Bionic|Wilt Chamberlain]], [[Anne Boleyn|Queen Elizabeth I]], [[Mailbag_1#Chris_the_inventor|Leonardo Da Vinci]] and [[Homo|Liberace]].

'''What's under your bed?''' My old [[Playstation]]... it's my guilty pleasure!

'''Two books that everybody should read are''' [[Father_Call#Literature_and_health|Of Mice and Men]] and the Great Gatsby.

===Fill It===
I'm an open-minded person, but '''[[Chris and race|big]][[Homos|ot]][[Women's rights|ry]]''' is a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: the brain of a '''[[art|Andy]] [[Homos|Warhol]]''' and the body of a '''[[Power|Brad Pitt]]'''

People say '''my smile is my best feature'''.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''... ask me...'''

The quickest way to my heart is '''[[SpaghettiRoutine|good cooking]]''' The quickest way to my [[Hanky-panky|bed]] is '''[[51 50|strong, muscly arms]]'''' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked '''basted'''

The last concert I attented was '''[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|Crash Test Dummies]]'''

My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''[[Wikipedia:Digimon|Digimon]]'''

'''Dogwood''' is my favorite local festival.

I wouldn't sell '''my body''' for a billion dollars.

'''[[Vanessa Hudgens|Christina Ricci]]''' is the celebrity I've been told I resemble.

'''[[China|P.F. Changs]]''' is my favorite restaurant.

===In and Out===
The Corner or '''[[CWCville Shopping Center|Downtown Mall]]'''

'''Blockbuster''' or Sneak Reviews

'''[[Matthew Noble call|Best Buy]]''' or Sidetracks

'''Wireless''' or Landline

'''Aristocrat''' or Grey Goose

[[100 2269|Beatles]] or '''Stones'''

CD or '''MP3'''

'''Carmike''' or Vinegar Hill

Dogs or '''[[Cats]]'''

'''Summer''' or Winter

[[Niggos|Black]] or '''[[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Brown]]'''

'''[[Long Island Iced Tea|Bars]]''' or [[14 Branchland Court|Stay Home]]

Kroger or '''Whole Food'''

'''PC''' or Mac

'''Wheel of Fortune''' or Grey's Anatomy

Steak or '''[[Pickles|Salad]]'''

Steak or '''Sushi'''

'''Cavaliers''' or [[Cherokian Clan|Redskins]]

'''Casket''' or Cremation

Fax or '''[[Email]]'''

Dyed or '''Natural'''

'''Pumps''' or Flats

'''Beach''' or Mountains

SUV or '''Sedan'''

==First contact==

{{main|Jackie Emails}}

Jackie corresponded with Chris in a series of emails spanning from 5-21 [[April 2010]]. The exchange culminated in a rather disturbing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|video]] outlining Chris's knowledge of cunnilingus in lurid detail.

== Sex pics ==
{{quote|You and I have just reached the climax in our own intercourse, while these three dudes were jerkin' and watchin'.|Chris, describing one of the scenes.}}
In September 2010, Jackie repeatedly asked Chris to draw very specific pictures of the two of them having sex. As Jackie had a gangbang fetish, she requested that Chris draw multiple men masturbating to the sight of Chris and Jackie having sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref> Chris repeatedly attempted to cop out of the deal by either drawing women or somehow concealing the male genitalia on their onlookers(at one point claiming that a puddle of semen counted as one man who had finished masturbating and left the scene).

On May 6 2012, a fourth picture was released, this time showing the pair having sex in a pool as two pairs of feet look on.
{{collapsible
|The drawings, NSFW
|<center>
<gallery>
File:UngaWungaTime.jpg|UNGA WUNGA
File:WetFunCircleTime.jpg|
File:CirclingOnJackie.jpg
File:=3.jpg
</gallery>
</center>
}}

==A new dawn?==
In early [[September 2010]] his [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|E-Mail exchange with Clyde and Tito]] suggests the possibility of a new sweetheart, but Chris refuses to reveal her name. Furthermore, he uploaded a ''[[ModNation]]'' character generically named 'Sweetheart', which was discussed to be another [[Chloe]] or [[Wallflower]].

On 13 September 2010 Chris uploaded a [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|video]] officially proclaiming his love to Jackie. Three days later, he produced a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|video]] capitalizing on Jackie's love for Canadian band, Crash Test Dummies, while ''[[Chris and race|in blackface]]''. Chris then spent [[October 2010|October]] [[Chris and cosplaying|cosplaying]] as various characters from [[100 2265|The Hamburglar]] to his own [[ECV 00002|Chris-chan]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Sonichu]] thereby bringing the crazy to [[Ivy]] Saga levels (it must be the red hair).

In [[November 2011]] Chris repeatedly mentioned Jackie in [[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD|the leaked debut album]] of his newest fictional band, [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]. It is unknown if Chris is still in contact with her.

==Lars==
'''Lars McNulty''' is Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]], whom Jackie left over his [[PS3#PlayStation Network|ridiculous obsession]] with [[ModNation Racers|model boats]]. He later distributed [[nudes]] of Jackie to a [[troll]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref> and sent her a boat made of popsicle sticks, with a condom for a sail.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3]]</ref> Egged on by Jackie, Chris developed an [[autism|intense fixation]] on Lars and released a number of videos mocking and attacking his erstwhile rival.

Chris's [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|first video addressing Lars]] appeared on 25 September, in which Chris proves who is the bigger and stronger man by smashing a model boat made of [[Lego]]. A [[New Address|second video]] appeared two days later, where Chris gloats over how Lars has lost Jackie, explains how he will fulfill her every desire, and warns Lars not to mess with her — or [[Death threats|Chris will intervene]]. Three days after that, he continued to mock Lars's interest in boats and set to [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|babbling about tape dispensers]]. (An [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|extended version]] of this third video appeared on 2 October.)

Subsequent videos in the first two weeks of October addressed other subjects, but Chris returned his attention to Lars in a [[100 2281|fourth video]] released in the wee hours of 15 October. There, a drunk Chris sported a [[Wikipedia:Do-rag|do-rag]] and accused Lars of spreading the old rumor that he's a [[homo]].

On 6 November, [[Lars Call|audio]] was released of a call between Lars and Chris.

==Oops, He Did it Again==
{{quote|We'll be very happy together. I know it. I will make you happy as much as possible. And when you're feeling down, I'll make you feel better. I love you.|Chris, [[Stare|giving the Creepy Stare]] to his beloved.}}
On 30 [[October 2010]], an [[alcohol|inebriated]]-looking Chris posted a [[ToJackie|video]] in which he pleads Jackie to stay with him. Since there had been no further Jackie-related videos and Chris had decided to [[100 2357.MOV|quit the internet]] '''again''', it was assumed they had split up. The actual breakup happened a couple days later, when he stopped responding to Jackie's emails.

In [[November 2010|November]], new information about Jackie was released in the form of various [[Jackie Chat 1|chats]] and [[Jackie E-mails 3|emails]]. These provided valuable context about Chris's activities online throughout the latter half of 2010. The email exchanges proved that yet again, Chris is unwilling to make any improvements to his life - even to get the china he so desperately craves.

==Oops, He Did it Again... Again!==
In [[February 2012]], [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] released a number of videos from [[August 2011]] that Chris made for Jackie, who apparently was back in contact with him. These included [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date]]‎, [[Little Tomboy Blue]]‎, [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter]]‎, [[Teenage Dream]] and [[Cheerleader]]. A leak of his recent [[Facebook statuses]] also reveals that he still has yet to get over her, holding out hopes that they may get back together.

In the middle of April, Chris removed Jackie from his Friends on [[Facebook]]; the reason is unknown, though it has been speculated that it was the result of [[February_2012|a flood of Tomgirl videos aimed at Jackie]] being leaked onto the internet.

During May, however, Jackie got back on Chris' good side and was subsequently re-friended on the site.

==Sources==
<references/>
{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Romy, Jacklyn}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga]]

SonichuBabies

2012-05-27T00:42:55Z

ReiDemon:

[[File:SB.PNG]]

'''SonichuBabies''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris rips off the [[1980s]] cartoon ''[[Wikipedia:Jim Henson's Muppet Babies|Jim Henson's Muppet Babies]]'' by recasting the [[Chaotic Combo]] as [[Sonee and Rosey|babies]]. Much like [[Things Chris has ripped off|everything else he steals]], Chris's version of the series lacks any of the charm and wit the original cartoon had, transforming it into "Chaotic Combo as babies, doing stuff babies aren't ''supposed'' to be doing!"

The video is notable for showing how poorly Chris understands childcare. In addition to leaving the group unattended, the children watch TV shows meant for older audiences, ostracize and bully [[Blake]], and [[CWC Fighter|physically fight each other]].

To date, "SonichuBabies" remains the last work involving ''Sonichu'' characters that Chris has created; prior to this, the last work in the franchise was [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas Special]] in [[February 2010]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = SonichuBabies
| video = {{#ev:youtube|q2PE_bTOKKc}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}} {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Not visible
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[PlayingHouse]]
}}

{{quote|We're having fun today in [[Chris's room|da room]], aren't we!}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Wittle Cute Sonees Page 1 by johaely.jpg|thumb|Sonichu babies!]]

''[Displays four crude drawings of members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] as babies, stuck to the end of what appear to be pens or straws, singing]'' Dooweeoooh, [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] babies, we make our dreams come truueee...

''[Wild Sonichu and Blake in shot]'' Sonichu babies, we'll do the same for youuu...

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Sonichu (character)|Sonee]] and [[Rosechu|Rosey]] in shot]'' When your world was kinda weird and you wished that you weren't theeere...

'''Rosey:''' Just close your eyes and make-believe, and you can be anywhere!

''[Drawing of a pair of human legs in shot]''

'''Nanny:''' Is everything alright in here?

'''Babies:''' Yes Nanny!

''[Displays all drawings, dropping some]'' Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Okay, let's beginning da show!

''[Sonee and Rosey appear]''

'''Sonee:''' We're having fun today in d-in d-in da ''room'', aren't we! Y-Aren't we Rosey!

'''Rosey:''' Hehedat's right Sonee, we're having fun in here! Dat's [[Wild]], [[Bubbles]] ''[Blake appears instead of Bubbles]'', [[Punchy]] ''[Angelica appears instead of Punchy]'', [[Magi-chan]], [[Angelica]], even [[Blake]]! ''[Shows other drawings]''

'''Blake:''' Hello. What? I'm [[Christian Weston Chandler|the weird one]]. Compare me to Gonzo. I have [[niggos|black]] hair though.

''[Fumbles with sticks for a few seconds, removes all but Sonee and Rosey]''

'''Both:''' Anyway, come with us, we'regoingtohavefun, whee!

''[Moves the two around without rhyme or reason]''

'''Both:''' Whee, oh we're having fun, wheeeewheeee! Mm.

'''Sonee:''' Ey Ro- ey Rosey we're jus' a... d-d-fun. What'd you wanna do now?

'''Rosey:''' I wanna do that thing like we saw on da [[TV]] show.

'''Sonee:''' That what ya wanna do?

'''Rosey:''' Yeaah! Alright!

''[Makes the babies kiss]''

'''Both:''' Mmmmmmm! Mmmmm!

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and writing|Exposition!Magi-chan]] moves into shot]''

'''Magi-chan:''' What? Ever since they watched- they seen that kissing scene, on that episode of... [[wikipedia:The Young and the Restless|The Young and the Restless]]... they been makin' out, all the time! They've been overdoin' it. Lil' Sonee has been noted saying, "she tastes like applesauce"!

''[Disembodied legs return]''

'''Nanny:''' Hey kids, I got' go out now. And mukku-my husband's comin' with me.

''[Comic Chris's trademark sneakers join]''

'''Chris:''' That's right. We're going out to go- we're going out shopping. We're gonna bring back some delicious groceries, and we'll be back in a lil' while. ''[Pause]'' Wait a minute. Who's gonna mind the babies?

'''Nanny:''' Oh yeah you're right. You stay home.

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah you're right, [[Monthly tugboat |I'll stay home]], you go out to get the groceries.

'''Nanny:''' Look how we settled that!

'''Chris:''' Well, we s- we're always able to settle things. Even und- even our minor disagreements. Look the way we still love each other. Mmm. ''[Pieces of paper "kiss"]'' Okay, see you later. ''[Female legs leave]''

'''Chris:''' Alright children, y'all s- y'all be careful out here. I'm gonna keep the door op- I'm gonna keep the door open, you just uh, give me a shout if you uh, need anything. ''[Hastily grabs bunch of children in view]'' ''Okay Papa C!''

''[Bubbles and Wild, Rosey accidentally sneaks into frame]''

'''Bubbles:''' What's the matter, Wild?

'''Wild:''' Iunno. Suddenly I just don't feel well.

'''Bubbles:''' Well, and why is that?

'''Wild:''' I- I was watchin' my- I was watchin' Blues Clues the other day, and, I missed a clue!

'''Bubbles:''' You missed a clue? How'd you do that? You're- that guy was supposed to be able to detect da clues before that guy in the green shirt does!

'''Wild:''' Yeah, what was that guy's name?

'''Bubbles:''' Uhh... heck if I know!

'''Wild:''' Mm. Well, anyway... I feel, a bit, I feel bad because I missed a clue!

'''Bubbles:''' Dun worry about it, we all make mistakes.

'''Wild:''' Yeah, you're right. We all do make mistakes. I guess I'll get over this someho- s-sometime.

'''Bubbles:''' Yeah, you will. Hey, let's go play in the t- let's go play on the merry-go-round.

'''Wild:''' Okay! ''[Both move out of frame]'' Whee whee whee whee whee we'll go play onna merry-go round!

''[Pause, fumbling noises offscreen. Punchy enters.]''

'''Punchy:''' [[wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|Samurai Pizza Cats]]! Miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow! Samurai Pizza Cats! Miaowmiaowmiow miaow miaow! Samurai armor! Oh! A [[CWCville|communist]], huh? You freakin' no good-- [interrupted by off-screen female voice] Would anyone happen to have a nail file on them? ...C'mon sweetie, we're all doin' a TV show! Hey wait a sec I thought [unintelligible] in real time because I watchin' live television!

''[Replaced by Blake]''

'''Blake:''' Yeah. Mm. I really like Bubbles. She's so pretty. She's so bubbly, she's so fun! ...I'm just-b-I'm just the weirdo here. I'm the one that gets left out. And it's not because um- and it's not because o' my color! It's just because I have my own opinions aside from theirs. I do things for myself. ...Sometimes I like to re- sometimes I like to read even though I don't know how to read yet! ...I'm different. I think for myself and things. I play too sometimes. But I'm s- but it brings danger along som- uh, it brings danger with me sometimes, n'...that makes me sad. Y'know, they can't apprecia-me, appreciate me even though I'm never danger...

''[Sonee and Rosey enter, Punchy sneaks into frame]''

'''Rosey:''' Listen-listen to-m-listen to Blake over there. He's all goin' on an' on with his own self, impulses again.

'''Sonee:''' Yeah, always talkin' to himself, eh? I don't know, think he's gone weird-

'''Blake:''' Aw, will ya shut up? We all talk to ourselves at one time or another.

'''Rosey:''' Sorry, Blake!

'''Sonee:''' Yeah, sorry dude.

'''Blake:''' Aah, whatever. ''[Blake saunters off]'' Hmm.

''[Angelica enters]''

'''Angelica:''' All the lovely things we r- I read in the Bible. Lalalalalalalaa. Lovely things, inna Bible. Good story.

''[Magi-chan appears]''

'''Magi-chan:''' Mmm, what stories are you reading about there, Angelica?

'''Angelica:''' Oh, this one, I'm reading about [[Sega|Genesis]]. The story of Adam and Eve!

'''Magi-chan:''' Ah yes. And then the apple gets bitten.

'''Angelica:''' YOU SPOILED IT FOR ME!! [Pause] I suppose next you're gonna tell me who gets thrown out first.

'''Magi-chan:''' I won't, I'll just uh, give you respect, there.

'''Angelica:''' Thank you. [''Pause''] Oh no, Eve gets kicked out first? [''Whine''] Well, at least [[Women's Rights|we women grew to power]] eventually.

'''Magi-chan:''' Yeah.

''[Awkward pause]''

'''Angelica:''' Praaaise Jesus in all his lov- in all his... forgiveness for us, he died for our sins and everything.

'''Magi-chan:''' Yes, we are Christians. We go to church every Sunday.

'''Angelica:''' An' Nanny takes us!

'''Magi-chan:''' Yeah. And Chris comes with us too! [[Chris and religion|He's a good Christian, yes he is.]]

'''Angelica:''' So what you wanna do now?

'''Magi-chan:''' Let's go play with [[Lego]]s!

'''Angelica:''' Okay! Wheeee! We're off to play with Legos!

''[Long pause. Punchy and Bubbles come into view, before being hastily retracted. Chris mumbles to himself before replacing Bubbles with Wild Sonichu]''

'''Punchy:''' Hey Wild, you wanna spar a li'l?

'''Wild:''' Okay Punchy!

''[Punchy launches himself at Wild, falls over]''

'''Punchy:''' Huh. Got me there.

''[Wild "hits" Punchy]''

'''Punchy:''' Got me again. Well, I'm gonna get you now. PEWWWW!

''[Punchy flies into Wild, both go offscreen. Punchy returns alone]''

'''Punchy:''' Oh, shoot. I [[Mypoe|knocked him out da window!]] Yo c'mon[?], come in back in da window!

'''Wild:''' I'm really hurt! You had me lyin' in a bush!

[[File:11cfxgi.jpg.png|thumb|right|The Sonichu Babies]]

'''Punchy:''' I'm sorry.

''[Awkward silence]''

'''Punchy:''' Aah, it's okay. Just be careful to watch yer punches. Cuz I gotta pull my punches if I wanna work[?] inside the nursery.

'''Wild:''' Yeah.

'''Punchy:''' So, I'll do that.

''[Punchy comes forward]''

'''Punchy:''' Because, [[Death threats|violence is not always the answer]] to e- is not always the answer. So- ye- uh, self defense, it ''can'' be... the answer.

''[Wild moves in front of Punchy]''

'''Wild:''' I agree. I don't like being bullied. Me, I was- b- m- I was out there riding my... bicycle the other day, an' [[Clyde Cash|bully]] comes up to me, and he, he g-steals the bicycle and he [[Kick the Autistic|beats me up]]! What's wrong with that dude?

'''Punchy:''' D'ya want me to go beat him up

'''Wild:''' Nah, I just need to learn self defense.

'''Punchy:''' I'm gonna go find and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|beat him up]]. Hiyaaa!

''[Both launch out of frame, but Wild returns]''

'''Wild:''' Ya don't even know what he looks like, where ya goin' Punchy? ...Anyway. ''[Turns around once, leaves]''

''[Punchy re-enters]''

'''Punchy:''' Th-you can't beat me Punchy[?], I'm [[Random-access humor|comical]], knock knock, who's there, orange, orange who, orange you glad I didn't say banana? ''[Pause]'' What? ''[Pause]'' Oh well. Knock knock. Who's there. Uhh, hello? What d'you mean, "hello". Well you said "who's there". Dyeah knock knock joke? I say "knock knock", you say "who's there". What? I stayed up watching [[Officer Keino|Home Movies]] one night. Place- It's a funny cartoon show with Brendon Small[?]. [[Sonichu 8|Not recommended for children]], though. It- still maybe teenagers. Or youth- or you- think it's a PG rating. TV-PG. ''[Jiggles around]'' I don't care I watched it by myself! I was up, I was wirey! I couldn't go to sleep! ''[Is still for a second, before leaving somewhat abruptly.]''

''[Sonee and Rosey return]''

'''Rosey:''' Okay so... What should we do now?

'''Sonee:''' I think let's go [[PlayingHouse|play House]]!

'''Rosey:''' Yeah let's go play House again!

'''Sonee:''' Yay! Doodoodoodooboodoodoo, hi honey I'm home.

'''Rosey:''' Oh, where've you been? Mmm, I mean, how was your day sweetheart?

'''Sonee:''' It's been good, y'know, I've just been, uh, doing business and everything. M-keepin' everything- keepin' the city safe with my swift speed and lightning attacks!

'''Rosey:''' Very good. I've been minding the children. Although when I went out, I wa- I was intercepted by one of the villains! But I- gre- myself at self defence, [[The Incredible Lioness|I struck them right back!]] And I stood my ground.

''[Pause]''

'''Sonee:''' That's very good. How're the children.

'''Rosey:''' I think I just told you that. ''[She didn't.]''

'''Sonee:''' Oh yes you did! The children are good! Hey- okay- so- that was good, let's do role reversal.

'''Rosey:''' Okay!

''[Switch places]''

'''Rosey:''' Hi honey, I'm home!

'''Sonee:''' Oh hi honey, how was w- how was- how was your work at [[Jackie|journalism]]?

'''Rosey:''' Oh, very good, I wrote- guh story here, and there. [Pause] The bank was robbed.

'''Sonee:''' There was a v- there was a bank robbery?

'''Rosey:''' Yeah, didn't you hear that? There was a horse and mane!

'''Sonee:''' Horse and mane?

'''Rosey:''' [[Random Access Humor|Sure, the horse was on the main!]]''

''[Pause]''

'''Rosey:''' What? Iunno. Go figure. Comedy. Anyway, [unintelligible], and I made, bulublugh, and I made, promotion!

'''Sonee:''' Very good. The children have been doi- have been doin' good today. I mean theyuh, the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-]] I mean uh, the younger one [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|pooped all over the place]]. Ugh, that was a whole bunch to clean up. And, uh... and the older one missed the toilet! I didn't know what to do with that, 'cept to clean it up, and tell her that it was wrong to do it in that direction, not to [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|aim it this way]], that. So I've been cleanin' and cookin' and keeping house all day long.

'''Rosey:''' And I've been out journalism all day.

'''Sonee:''' Yeah.

''[Pause]''

'''Sonee:''' Anyway uh, today was grocery shopping day so I went out for groceries. S- an' children ha- and children... went with me. I took them along with me. And, they were okay in the car for a little while but then there was a scr- then on the way home there was a screaming. Yeah, the younger one was tired. Just waawaawaawaawaa. Waaa. ''[Pause]'' So the older one kept- kept the, uh- kept the younger one quiet, you know. At least she knew better. So, she calmed him down.

'''Rosey:''' That's good.

'''Sonee:''' I had to change a few [[Butt garments|diapers]] to- I had to change a whole number of diapers for that little one. What a mess. But I'm willing to go through with it, because I am the father! The house husband.

'''Rosey:''' And I'm the one that goes out, make the money.

'''Sonee:''' Okay. So. Wanna end the show.

'''Rosey:''' Why not?

'''Sonee:''' The puppet show. Alright. Yeah.

'''Narrator:''' Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Dudududududuh!

''[Feet come back into view]''

Dududududududuh! Duh duh!

'''Nanny:''' Thank you very much, goodnight!

'''Chris:''' Goodnight.

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Night of the Living Sonees
| video = {{#ev:youtube|zq0jnGS2ang}}
| stardate = 26 [[October 2010]]
| maker = [[user:xanabit|Xanabit]]
| subject =
| type = }}
==See also==

*[[A Sonichu Day]]
*[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[PlayingHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25]]

Obesity

2012-04-29T05:23:42Z

ReiDemon: With this new rewrite, PROTIP doesn't seem to work so well.

[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|Look at his "slender" figure.]]]]
[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|180px|The Atkins Diet apparently didn't work on [[Barb]].]]

{{quote|One more thing, [[Chris and reality|I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!]]|Chris, lying to [[White knight emails|White Knight]]}}
{{Quote|I do not feel good hearing remarks or comments that have relation to my gut.|Chris to [[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 6]]</ref>}}

'''Obesity''' is perceived to be a worldwide epidemic, especially in the [[USA]], with about 65% of adults overweight and 26% obese. This is especially apparent in the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home]], in which 100% of its residents are fat: [[Chris]], [[Barbara]], and even their cat, [[Desi Chandler|Desi]].

Chris seems to be in denial about his own obesity. His denial is evidenced by the fact that he portrays himself as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|a slim, barrel-chested hero]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], when he describes himself as "fit as a fiddle." Furthermore, in his numerous dating profiles discovered by the trolls, he often lists himself as having an "athletic build" or at the very least having weight that is proportionate to his height.

Another example of this was when he created a character for his comics named [[Sammy]], whom Chris stated is based off him when he "temporary gained weight, Became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command," even though he has always been this way. Except, y'know, for the Ghost Command part. But [[Chris and reality|that's]] a whole other problem.

Further cementing his obesity, on [[October 2011|October 2nd]], Chris's voluptuous manboobs won an award on [http://www.manboobs.co.uk/submissions/manboob_of_the_month manboobs.co.uk].

== Exercise ==
[[Image:Cwcspin.gif|right|Exercise]]

Chris believes that exercise involves standing up without moving, and thus considers playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' a workout. During one of his [[PSN]] chats with Julie, when asked to exercise more, he replied, "I'll stand up more". It is not known how Chris came to believe that standing up is exercise, but it is most likely that Chris is simply extremely lazy and will lie to say that he works out every day, even though he just plays vidya. It's possible he's picked it up from health tips that say standing burns more calories than sitting down,<ref>http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/8-ways-to-burn-calories-without-noticing/article16261.html ''Reader's Digest.'' See tip #3</ref><ref>http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/office-exercise/SM00115 ''Mayo Clinic.'' See tip #2</ref> but rather than use such tips to get the most out of an already busy lifestyle, he substitutes it for actual exercise altogether. It's also entirely possible he's in such terrible shape that the simple act of standing tires him as much as an actual workout would tire a normal human being.

[[Emily]] has said Chris power-walks around his neighborhood for thirty minutes and claims it's two miles (3 km), then claims to jog for two or three minutes every walk. She then went on to say Chris doesn't know how to jog — he thinks you either walk or run full tilt. It's safe to say he tries to run at "[[Sonic]] speed" for ten seconds, then resumes his leisurely waddle. This theory is confirmed in [[Sonichu's Edge]].

In [[Mailbag 21]], Chris claimed that he planned on investing in a gym membership. Judging by photographs and videos from subsequent months, either he lied or he wasted his money.

== Actual weight ==
In an IRC fan chat, when asked how much he weighed, Chris replied "about 200 [pounds]" (91 kg). During his phone call with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], he angrily denied the suggestion that he weighed as much as 220 lbs (100 kg), claiming he weighed "a lot less." But in [[February 2010]], he admitted that he once weighed even more than 220 pounds.<ref>[[Mailbag 54]]</ref>

In [[WeighIn|WeighIn video]], Chris claims that he weighs 216 lbs (97kg). This seems very unrealistic, given his current girth and food consumption. Most [[trolls|experts]] believe that Chris either offset his scale by 40 or 50 pounds, or that he's not fully standing on the scale in order to fool people into believing he's not extremely fat. It is also possible that Chris's years of inactivity have caused his muscles to deteriorate to the point of him looking like he weighs more than 250 pounds, when he really is just 216 pounds of pure fat.

== Denial ==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|180px|Horizontal stripes are very slimming!]]

Chris has always been in denial about his weight. A white knight once told him that he needed to lose some weight if he ever wanted to get a girlfriend. Chris responded by freaking out and exclaiming that he wasn't overweight.<ref>[[White knight E-mails#September 2008 .E2.80.94 Chris denies being fat and sexist]]</ref> In [[IRC]], Chris has been known to become very defensive about his weight, always making claims that he works out, when in fact he just stands up while playing ''Guitar Hero''. Chris's reaction to being called fat is precisely the same as his reaction to being called [[gay]]. Unfortunately for Chris, there isn't a [[Homo#Defenses_against_becoming_homo|poster that will help him lose weight]]. He simply screams that he isn't fat, then oftentimes lies, and calls the person accusing him fat. He exhibited this behavior during an email with [[Evan]],<ref>[[Masturbating_and_squirtin%27#Transcript of Chrisreply1evan.jpg|1st email to Evan]]</ref> during his phone call with [[Father Call|Kacey's father]], and especially in his conversation with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], where insults about his weight triggered a screaming rage.

However, during his original rivalry with [[Liquid Chris]], Chris once finally admitted he was perhaps maybe just a little bit fat, but only because he could use this as proof that he was the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler. A similar problem arose during the [[Asperchu]] saga, where Chris, in an attempt to prove that Asperchu was a parody of himself, was forced to admit that Asperchu's "Buddha belly" and "man boobs" are similar to his own. More specifically, he acts as though he ''used'' to have a sagging gut, even though he has, in fact, porked up significantly since [[high school]]. He chose to focus on this aspect of Asperchu rather than admit his more embarrassing failures the series parodies. He did once admit in a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]] that he was not fit.

There is also convincing evidence that [[autism|Chris has difficulty recognizing]] the human figure — faces in particular. His consistent representation of himself as slender and athletic may be attributable to his having formed his self-image during high school, when he would spend hours studying his then-scrawnier self in the mirror, memorizing his looks.<ref> [[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|''Sonichu'' #7]] - "…I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like…"</ref>

==See also==
* [[Chris and health]]
* [[Muscle bra|Manboobs]]
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Chick-fil-A]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Cole Smithey

2012-04-28T16:33:09Z

ReiDemon: If memory serves, this supposed Tweet was faked.

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Coles.jpg|250px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Cole Smithey
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Joseph Cole Smithey
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| 24 July [[Pre-1980#1960s|1963]] (age 48)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Barbara]] (mother) [[Jack Dale Smithey]] (supposed father) [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (presumed actual father) [[Jerry Harmon]] (supposed stepfather) [[Robert Chandler]] (stepfather)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Film critic, musician
|-
|}

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole, [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 e-mail #3]]}}
{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|[[Barbara Chandler]]<ref>[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 1]]</ref>}}

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara's]] first son and the lone escapee of the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole seems to be a pretty normal guy. [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole's e-mails to Chris]] revealed a lot about the Chandler family.

He currently lives in Manhattan and is a noted film critic who is featured on Rotten Tomatoes.<ref>http://www.rottentomatoes.com/critic/cole-smithey/</ref> He achieved notoriety in Time Magazine for being one of the few critics to give a negative review to Toy Story 3.<ref>http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/06/19/can-147-critics-be-wrong-meet-the-two-pundits-who-trashed-toy-story-3/</ref> He also occasionally hosts [[eBay]] auctions to spend a night drinking with him.

==Childhood==
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|left|Cole's [[true and honest]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook. Notice how he looks EXACTLY like him.]]

Cole grew up in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> As a child, Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his "stepfather" [[Jerry Harmon]] with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]</ref>

Barb insisted that Cole's biological father was [[Jack Dale Smithey]], to whom she claimed she was married to, but records show she wasn't.<ref>[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]</ref> Cole suspected, and later confirmed, that his biological father was [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]], who would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

==Move to California==
Cole left Virginia for California, attending San Diego State University from 1981-1984, and earning degrees in Dramatic Art and Music. He also attended Hartnell College and San Francisco City College in similar fields of study.<ref>http://www.linkedin.com/pub/cole-smithey/a/125/9aa</ref> While at college, he became the drummer for a Poway, California punk rock band called "The Rockin’ Dogs". The band lasted from 1981-1985.<ref>The Rockin’ Dogs
</ref>{{clear}}

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==
[[File:Bobcomes home copy.jpg|thumb|left|A likely summary for Bob and Cole's relationship.]]
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole wasn't on good terms with [[Bob]] and not even with [[Barbara]]. [[Bob]] worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]</ref> In multiple emails to Chris, Cole asks him to let him know when Bob dies, so that he can celebrate.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

Barbara continued to lie about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to [[Jack Dale Smithey]], Cole's alleged father, but rather to [[Ran Coleman Yeatts|Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts]].

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.
{{clear}}

==Relationship with Chris==
[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Ironically, Cole actually gets along much better with Chris than with either Bob or Barb (or at least he used to; it's unclear whether the two are still in regular contact), and possibly better than with any of his other direct relatives. Then again, when you don't actually know ''who'' your paternal relatives are, you have to take what you can get.

Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself. Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]], which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.

Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.

Chris visited Cole in California at some point, the only time Chris has been on an airplane and one of only two times that he has left [[Virginia]] (the other being his trip to Ohio to save "[[Julie]]").

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an e-mail asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. The timing of this request was probably not a coincidence, as Ran Coleman Yeatts, his presumed father, had died a month beforehand.<ref>[http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/ United States Social Security Death Index]</ref> Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the ''PaRappa'' contest than his brother's plight, showing just how [[Chris and his Ego|self-absorbed]] he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris.

===Cole in the comics===
Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a "Professor Cole" listed, being the one who gave [[Kel]] the [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] who would become Rosechu. This means that even his half-brother is stuck in [[CWCville]].

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.
Image:Colesmithyrockingdogs.jpg|Cole playing drums.
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:People]]

March 2012

2012-04-14T23:38:22Z

ReiDemon: My two cents.

'''March 2012''' is the third month of [[2012]]. Little occurred in the month; Chris spent the majority of this month playing his newly-acquired [[Playstation Vita]].

==Events==
*31 March - Chris publishes 2 open notes on his [[Facebook]] account where he complains about the trolls.
{{Timeline}}

Chris and race

2012-04-07T00:53:12Z

ReiDemon: /* Chris and stereotypes */

[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup]]
[[File:Niggo.jpg|thumb|250px|"Oh yeah, he's also Old Fashioned."]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s '''racist tendencies''' can be traced at least partially to his Southern [[USA|U.S.]] heritage, but certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of his worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, Chris seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes, opting to make up a bunch of bullshit off the top of his head.

==African Americans==
{{main|Niggos}}

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: [[Bob Chandler|his father]], his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia, hence his use of the words "nigger" and "niggos."

==Asians==
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris portrays [[Punchy Sonichu]] as a [[CWC Fighter|kung fu]] master with [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanty eyes]], raised in a dojo. When a fan criticized this stereotyping, Chris claimed that Punchy was "NOT of Asian origin."<ref>[[Mailbag 6]]</ref> Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of kung fu to Japan, when in actuality it comes from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, and claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> In a [[Katie Bay E-mails|leaked series of e-mails]], it is shown that Chris simply does not seem to know that China and Japan are not the same, as he calls the Japanese account Chinese, failing to realize that they are separate countries with different languages, writing systems and currencies.

In his real-life dealings, Chris seems to have a positive or at least neutral view toward Asians. He has stated that he would not exclude Asian women from his [[Love Quest]], and at one point [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)|believed Emily to be part-Asian]]. However, he also said that meeting her was like having a [[Sailor Moon|''Pretty Girl Sailor Moon'']] character leap out of his television; a real Asian woman probably wouldn't be pleased to be imagined as animu wank fodder.

Chris also mentioned receiving a graduation gift from Reverend Shin C. Kang (sp?) of Korean Hope Presbyterian Church of Richmond in the [[church audio]].<ref>[http://www.taxexemptworld.com/organizations/chesterfield-county-va-virginia.asp?spg=2]</ref>

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

===Ching Chong===
In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]], Chris presents us [[Chris and remorse|sincere apologies]] for having scared a small Chinese girl that [[Ivy]] tutored in art. The child, known only as '''Ching Chong''' (程鍾 ''Chéng Zhong'') is now traumatized due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own [[semen|"navy"]] while innocently browsing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris never made a follow-up on the girl and never asked why her name was a known racial slur towards ethnic Asian communities. In the [[Wedding Comic]], Ching Chong is seen [[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|as a flower girl]].

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans. No, really.]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of Native Americans are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "[[Cherokian]]" heritage with ''Sonichu'' lore. He depicts [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|Cherokee]] characters in his work as white-skinned and blue-eyed, and wearing Ancient Roman-style armor ([[Wikipedia:Joseph Smith, Jr|Joseph Smith]] would be proud). The [[Wasabi Clan]] also bear no resemblance to Native Americans.

Chris has also embodied his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize "[[My Little Pony]]" dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous "Cheroki-Chan", a Native American pony. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

In a shocking display of ignorance, Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water-washable paint (and a "[[muscle bra]]") and wields a gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. This video was inevitable [[fail]] because true Cherokee wore vests and used only bows and arrows, which Chris [[I AM STRONG|lacks the strength]] to use.

==Jews==
{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel Michael Snyder!... JEW!|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris]]}}
In "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]", Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate [[Wikipedia:Hanukkah|Hanukkah]]. On December 12, members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has seven candles in it, while the traditional menorah used on Hanukkah IRL, called a ''Hanukkiah'', has nine) instead of Christmas Trees, with [[Wikipedia:dreidel|dreidels]] lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in the RL Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. e.g., when Sonichu's daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift! Also, Hanukkah is the only Jewish holiday, and so candles (especially single ones not on a Menorah) are super-important to Jews!

Cerah also makes the flavor vanilla, just in case poor Kevin had any nut/chocolate allergies. Instead of simply ''asking'' if he's allergic, she just assumes it. Because Jews are Melvins with many allergies, you see.

In fact, there actually is a tradition of eating specially ''fried'' foods (latke and sufganiyah) on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you.

Near the beginning of Chris's [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|latest]] (unsuccessful) attempt to be unbanned from the [[The GAMe PLACe]], he casually pointed out that Michael Snyder was probably Jewish (although "Snyder" is a very common German last name, meaning "to cut"), using his last name as a point of reference. Of course with Chris being the [[slow-in-the-mind|idiot]] he is, it ended with him angrily calling Snyder a Jew. Given the use of the word as an insult, and Chris using it in context with other words denoting a type of sin it shows just how tolerant he is of other religions. In a later video ([[100 2178]]), Chris appears to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

If Chris's antisemitism was veiled before, it becomes extremely apparent in an email he sent to [[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Katie Bay while impersonating Samantha Thaddeus]]. While talking about Michael Snyder, he refers to him as a "son of a bitch Jew" and a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew".

==Hispanics==
[[Image:332-Espanolic.jpg|thumb|left|Espanolic, the Spanish Pokémon]]

Aside from his rather tenuous grasp on the [[Spanish]] language, Chris has created a somewhat racist caricature in the form of [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]]. It's a Grass-type [[Pokémon]] that resembles an anthropomorphized [[Wikipedia:Sombrero|sombrero]] in front of what appears to be the flag of [[Wikipedia:Bolivia|Bolivia]] or [[Wikipedia:Ghana|Ghana]], and its main attack is confusing its enemies with its "strange language". Its evolved form, Vegaton, has an attack called "[[Wikipedia:Spanish fly|Spanish Fly]]", that puts its enemies to sleep.

Hilariously enough, [[Nintendo]] would later create similar Pokémon named Lombre and Ludicolo, which, despite being obvious stereotypes, were handled far more tactfully than Chris could hope to do.

So far, the only Hispanic character in the comics is [[Heather Iglesias]], the [[Homos|lesbian]] nanny of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]. Chris is probably trying to be inclusive here, but he isn't creative or intelligent enough to think of anything besides a stereotypical occupation for Hispanic women.

It may also be notable that oftentimes, Chris refers to Hispanic people as being "Spanish". While not totally inaccurate, the word "Spanish" is usually reserved for people actually from Spain, whereas "Hispanic" is used for peoples from countries that predominately speak Spanish (a good comparison would be referring to people from Ireland or Scotland as "English").

Chris has shown in the past a willingness to [[Joshua Martinez|befriend]] and [[Lori Lopez|date]] Hispanics.

==Parental influence==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|right|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern [[United States]] before the civil rights movement and [[Prank_calls#ThePCassassins_-_Call_Bobby_Chandler|has claimed to have friends in the Ku Klux Klan and may be a member himself]], it's safe to assume that some of his prejudices passed on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only three white players and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. In [[2008]], Bob said that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black." In a [[Prank_calls#Call_Bobby_Chandler|2010 prank call]], Bob implied that he was a Ku Klux Klan member, and said ''"I’ve seen crosses burning, fella. I've seen 'em. And you don’t wanna see it."'' Of course, he may have just made these claims to intimidate [[troll]]s.

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides Southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical [[Adult Swim]] cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|''The Boondocks'']]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in ''Sonichu'' with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]].

Chris, despite claiming [[Cherokee]] ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic. Chris most likely has no idea what kind of rituals took place in Native American culture. If he did, he would know that some tribes slit their [[duck|cocks]] to please the gods.

==Not a racist?==
[[Image:ECP 00024.jpg|thumb|left|Chris being a [[niggo|wiggo]].]]
{{quote|And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews|Chris, in response to a [[Mailbag_6#Rejected_Mailbag|rejected mailbag]] email}}
Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville [[Fail|"they can even vote"]], but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

Also, Chris has probably never been told that the voice of [[Sonic]] in the animated series that he loves so much was [[Wikipedia:Jaleel White|Jaleel White]], a [[Niggos|black]] man. If someone told him this, he would probably deny it. However, given that Chris managed to get [[LittleBigPlanet|respect]] for [[Homos|Stephen Fry]]...

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too. (In an [[IRC (17 December 2008)|IRC]], Chris said he has no problem with dating an Asian. Later, in [[Mailbag 35]], he wrote he would date "Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries" except the ones being black because he's "Old Fashioned".)

Realistically, Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one. In other words, he's afraid of ethnic groups he's not familiar with. Like most things in his life, [[Chris and reality|Chris has no real knowledge and bases everything off what he's seen on TV]]. Chris's perception of minorities is only what the TV shows him, since encountering them in real life is something that rarely occurs.

===Improved race relations?===
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|left|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|image]] leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves to us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

===Nope, no improved race relations===
[[Image:Chrishunwessonkramer.jpg|thumb|"Fitty years ago you'da been hung from a damn dirty tree!"]]

This just in: Chris is a bigot. If anyone had any misconceptions that Chris was anything short of the most horrible person on earth, he ended Sonichu Day by calling Tito the N-word in "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]" and in the [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]], making him an official racist. (The repercussions of this event included [[Jack Thaddeus]] removing his ads from CWCipedia and [[Mao]] taking over the site for a short time, leading to a massive amount of vandalism.) Soon, Chris also called Michael Snyder a Jew (in a derogatory way) in [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]. He later performed [[Song for Jackie.MOV|a song in ''blackface'']] for his sweetheart [[Jackie]]. {{clear}}

==Minority characters in ''Sonichu''==
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish, good, never seen)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (<s>Paleface</s> Native American, lawful good)
*[[Wes Iseli#Wasabi Rival|Wasabi Rival]] (<s>Caucasian</s> Native American, evil)
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer#Queen of the Cherokian Clan|Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] - (Native American, good, probably the whitest of all Native American characters in the comics as she's not only blue eyed but also blonde)
*[[B-Manajerk]] (black, evil)
** Occasionally other [[Jerkop]]s are shown to be black as well. No other minorities are apparent.
*[[Barack Obama]] (half black)
*[[Blake]] (black, evil turned good)
*[[CADD Chef]] (black, evil)
*[[Florance Fisher]] (black, good)
*[[Jerkhief]] (black, lawful evil)
*[[Punchy]] (Chinese-Japanese, good)
*[[Silvana]] (black, evil [said to turn good])
*[[Turdijerk]] (Asian?, drawn with tan skin, evil)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (black, TRUE and HONEST police officers)
*[[Inos]] (black, [[tobacky]] smoker)
*[[Heather Iglesias]] (Hispanic, lesbian, good, never seen)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist)|Bill Schwartz]] (possibly Jewish, worked for [[Giovanni]] but later on changed sides)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|Ching Chong]] (Asian, appeared in the [[Wedding Comic]] as a flower girl)
*PHI Spring Break reporter (Black, appears in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]) - despite only appearing in one panel, Chris manages to make her into a stereotype, addressing the audience as "Sistas and brothas."

In the [[Mailbag]], when Chris is confronted about the lack of minorities in his comic he claims that all of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are considered "minorities" in CWCville, implying that he completely missed the point of the question.

==Sources==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles

2012-03-29T04:50:09Z

ReiDemon: Nuked.

{{Honest}}
{{Quote|And I HAVE the idea for the Video Game for myself, if I can swing that with SEGA as well, an epic tale of my tragic [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|Adult Life]] straight from my tortured [[heart level|heart]] and soul. I will bring the [[CWC Fighter|pain]] to the [[Jerkops]], I will kick [[Mary Lee Walsh]] into her cauldron to burn, as well as the other villians. And I will have support from my [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric-Hedgehogs]], my [[Barbara|mother]] and [[Bob Chandler|father]], my Closest [[Gal-Pals]] who I've grown to love; [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Anna McLerran]] to name a couple, sparingly in the game. And I will square-off in the TRULY SELF-EPIC Battle between me, and my [[Naitsirhc|Dark Half]]. I plan to have THIS GAME ALONE go Multi-Console between [[Nintendo Wii]], Playstation 2 and [[PS3|Playstation 3]] (with downloadable content); screw the [[Hex Bawx|HEX-Box]].|from [[An Important Update]]}}
[[Image:CWCAdultChronicles.jpg|thumb|250px|Probably the most unintentionally accurate depiction of how Chris views real adult life]]
[[Image:AdultChroniclesAd.jpg|thumb|250px|To encourage a developer to pick up the game, Chris made his own ad to decrease production costs]]

'''''Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles''''' is [[Chris]]'s extremely dumb and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]] [[video game]] idea where one plays Chris trying to fight [[Jerkops]] to find a true [[sweetheart]] and kill [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] as useless, but determined, sidekicks. There is no available information on the genre or mechanics of the game.

Originally, Chris was determined to see Sonichu made into a game, but based on his interactions during [[Miyamoto Saga]] and in ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'', Chris seems more determined to make his own game where it's all about him and his failure to adjust to adult life.

The game is currently awaiting development beyond the front cover and the advertisement, both of which in themselves break innumerable copyrights. Please note that while he wants the game published for [[sony|PS2]], [[PS3]], and [[Wii]], it should absolutely never be made for the [[Hex Box]].

== Cover ==
In a bold decision in graphic design, the cover depicts Chris having ''already won'' his battle, staring determinedly out at an empty back yard littered with the broken iconography of his enemies. While most games presumably end in the hero overcoming his obstacles, only daring experiments in literary form (such as [[Wikipedia:Awesome Possum|''Awesome Possum Kicks Doctor Machino's Butt'']], which also sucked, but probably not to this extent) actually establish victory before the start button is pressed.

References made on box art:
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]] symbol underneath CWC's foot.
*The cracked helmet of [[Mary Lee Walsh]].
*[[Merried Seinor Comic]]'s sword arm from [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|Sub-Episode 4]].
*The [[Jerkhief]]'s delicious wooden badge, referenced on the cover of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]
*The remains of the purple staff containing [[Count Graduon]].
*[[Naitsirhc]]'s blue goggles that he wore before his codpiece-wearing [[homos]]exual makeover .
*The gray thing with red things stemming from it is the [[Robotnik]] medallion that [[Sonic]] showed [[Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 1#Episode 5: "Informal Meeting"|Episode 5]].
*Chris's [[Gitar of Fail]] (pointing in the wrong direction compared to the strap across his chest).
*[[Son-Chu|Chris's car]] with a [[Vanity Plate of Fail|Sonichu license plate]].

For a time, the ''Adult Chronicles'' illustration graced a console cover attached to Chris's original [[PS3]]. Chris preserved that cover as a "memento" after [[The MovingFoward videos|destroying the console]], but then transplanted it onto a new (old [[obesity|fat]] model) PS3 that he got with [[Monthly tugboat|your money]] shortly afterwards.

==[[Shigeru Miyamoto]]'s response to the game==
[[Image:ShigerumiyamotoEmail.jpg|650px|center]]

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:CWConPS3.jpg
Image:CWConPS2.jpg
Image:CWConWii.jpg
Image:CWConHEXBAWX.jpg
</gallery>
</center>
{{Sonichu Games}}

[[Category:Video games created by Chris]]

Alex's Lemonade Stand

2012-03-05T05:39:37Z

ReiDemon: In hindsight, the last sentence adds little.

[[File:Cwcville Helps.png|thumb|"Cwcville Helps", [[February 2012]]]]
{{Quote|I, as a [[Money|charitable]] individual, like helping others, and Children are our future. So, I am participating during the weekend to help the cause to cure cancer in children, so they all can grow into fine, [[Health|healthy adults]].|[[Chris]]|being ironic.}}

'''Alex's Lemonade Stand''' is a charity program that was set up by [[Lego]] in conjunction with their "[[Gal-pals|Friends]]" theme, which is intended for little girls. Chris, being the [[Tomgirl]] and fan of Lego that he is, has pledged to set up a lemonade stand in hopes of raising money for his "father who died of cancer", despite the fact [[Bob]] actually died of heart failure. Although his reasoning for creating the stand is still unclear, he may have thought that the money would go to him so he could buy more [[video games|vidya]].

== The event ==
[[File:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Something like this]]
According to the event page, entitled "[[Cwcville]] Helps", Chris will be running a lemonade stand for all three days of the event - from 9 a.m. until 5 p.m on Friday, June 8 through Sunday, June 10, 2012, more work than Chris has done since [[Cutco]] ditched him nine years ago. The stand was originally to be set up outside [[Chris's house]], but has since moved to the old [[Wikipedia:Circuit City Stores|Circuit City]] building, 100 Albemarle Square, [[Charlottesville]]. The initial fundraising goal of US$50 was quickly met after donations from Chris's friends, neighbors and fans, as well as some more sinister figures, such as [[Clyde Cash]] and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. As of February 24, the total amount of donations exceeded $150, although Chris has not changed his original donation goal.

[[Image:132950942315.png|frame|center|Shit was so cash!]]

The page was later deleted, for reasons unknown; it is likely that Chris decided that raising money for ''dying children'' wasn't worth the [[stress]] of hearing mean things from [[trolls]]. It is currently not known if he will actually have a lemonade stand, but given that he has already exceeded the donation target, he probably won't bother.

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/80275 Cwcville's page on Alex's Lemonade Stand]</s> DELETED

{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Alex's Lemonade Stand

2012-03-05T05:31:13Z

ReiDemon: /* The event */

[[File:Cwcville Helps.png|thumb|"Cwcville Helps", [[February 2012]]]]
{{Quote|I, as a [[Money|charitable]] individual, like helping others, and Children are our future. So, I am participating during the weekend to help the cause to cure cancer in children, so they all can grow into fine, [[Health|healthy adults]].|[[Chris]]|being ironic.}}

'''Alex's Lemonade Stand''' is a charity program that was set up by [[Lego]] in conjunction with their "[[Gal-pals|Friends]]" theme, which is intended for little girls. Chris, being the [[Tomgirl]] and fan of Lego that he is, has pledged to set up a lemonade stand in hopes of raising money for his "father who died of cancer", despite the fact [[Bob]] actually died of heart failure. Although his reasoning for creating the stand is still unclear, he may have thought that the money would go to him so he could buy more [[video games|vidya]].

== The event ==
[[File:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Something like this]]
According to the event page, entitled "[[Cwcville]] Helps", Chris will be running a lemonade stand for all three days of the event - from 9 a.m. until 5 p.m on Friday, June 8 through Sunday, June 10, 2012, more work than Chris has done since [[Cutco]] ditched him nine years ago. The stand was originally to be set up outside [[Chris's house]], but has since moved to the old [[Wikipedia:Circuit City Stores|Circuit City]] building, 100 Albemarle Square, [[Charlottesville]]. The initial fundraising goal of US$50 was quickly met after donations from Chris's friends, neighbors and fans, as well as some more sinister figures, such as [[Clyde Cash]] and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. As of February 24, the total amount of donations exceeded $150, although Chris has not changed his original donation goal.

[[Image:132950942315.png|frame|center|Shit was so cash!]]

The page was later deleted, for reasons unknown; it is likely that Chris decided that raising money for ''dying children'' wasn't worth the [[stress]] of hearing mean things from [[trolls]]. It is currently not known if he will actually have a lemonade stand, but given that he has already exceeded the donation target, he probably won't bother. Currently, however, the only way to tell is to wait for his original dates set up on the page: the eighth to tenth of June.

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/80275 Cwcville's page on Alex's Lemonade Stand]</s> DELETED

{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Websites]]

My Little Pony

2012-02-28T20:19:37Z

ReiDemon: "In the last few years" is a tad too broad, and is false (if memory serves, FIM only came out last year.) Some rewording also.

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Chris_Chan_Pony.png|thumb|Chris Chan: The original brony]]
'''My Little Pony''' (MLP) is a line of [[toys]] and animated programs intended for girls aged 4-8. In [[2007]] Christian picked up the interest by trying to impress his [[Gal-pal]], [[Megan]]. He would send his friends custom-made My Little Pony dolls. Back in the days of [[ED]] there was speculation that he inserted hairs from his own head into the dolls; this, however, was debunked once people began to learn more about him.

After a [[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|recent revival of the show]], people outside the intended demographic of the toy began to show a strange interest in the dolls, such as 4chan, thus making Chris automatically fit right into this category. Since the renewed popularity of the show, he has adopted some of their idiosyncrasies, such as using characters from the show as [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|forum]] avatars.

==Chris and ponies==
[[File:Poorcamo.jpg|thumb|left|One of Chris's ponies, as seen in his [[bedroom]].]]

The homemade ponies vary between being blatant ripoffs of [[anime]] characters, most notably the titular character from ''[[wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' and [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', and horrible [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sues]] such as [[Cherokee|Cheroki-Chan]], who is clearly based on the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic-book version of Chris]] or possibly the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|ancestor character]], and Crystal, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|whose origin is obvious]].

In his infamous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris first made his love of My Little Pony known when he recommended to all his viewers that they buy MLP figures of their favorite color to stroke and rub against their cheek, claiming that it was "very therapeutic" and that one could talk to the ponies and pretend that they were girls they wanted to ask out, to help them build confidence. At the time, this was viewed as a very revealing aspect of Chris's life, earning him the mockery of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4chan]] yet again. Neither of the two parties realized, of course, that years later, they would become fans themselves.

In [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009]], you can see his My Little Ponys hanging from his ceiling.

One of the latest known references to MLP made by Chris was on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where Chris used a picture of Applejack from the more recent ''[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' animated series as his avatar, although his screen name was modeled after the name of another major character in the series- [[Rainbow|Rainbow Dash]].

[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|thumb|Applejack as Chris's avatar on [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]].]]
In a [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|subsequent video]] following these events, he referred to his [[Sonichu|pet series]] as being a ''"TV-Y7 rated... friendship socializing, promoting type of series"'', which echoes the central themes of ''Friendship is Magic'', meaning the series could be considered the type of show he looks up to, and wants his own [[Chris and the industry|animated series]] to be like. [[Chris and writing|It will probably never happen]], but it does give insight on how even after claiming to have given them up on ''My Little Pony'' a long time ago, it appears he still retains interest in them.

A ''Friendship is Magic'' Rainbow Dash toy can be sighted in the background of "[[Correction_of_EX_relationship_status|Correction of EX relationship status]]" and a My Little Pony sticker can be seen on Chris's [[3DS]] in the [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Wristwatch-SwissWatch]] video.

Chris also has a ''Friendship is Magic'' playlist on his [[YouTube]] account that includes all the episodes, confirming once and for all his love for a children's show.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL20EBD1B6E8BB9E6F Chris's ''My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic'' playlist on YouTube]</ref> Considering [[Ghostbusters|his]] [[Transformers|previous]] [[Pokemon|track]] [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|record]], it's not exactly surprising.

{{-}}

==Cutie mark==

In the new videos released on [[February_2012|Feb 25th]], Chris was spotted showing off a drawing on his left thigh which he calls his "cutie mark". It is the combination of the male and female symbol. It does not seem to be a real tattoo, but instead is drawn on.

In [[My Little Pony]], a cutie mark is a symbol showing off a pony's special talent and interest. Chris's special talent, it seems, is being a [[tomgirl]].

==In the comics==
[[File:Ponywed.jpg|thumb|Show this to any father with a young daughter and he'd probably think she made it. Purposely bad.]]

Like any eight-year-old girl with the hopes of marrying a blue prince in a fairytale wedding with her BFF pony by her side, [[Wedding_Comic|Sonichu Special 2]] reveals to its unfortunate readers that Chris might have harbored similar thoughts, as his ideal wedding also features a My Little Pony.

After having received a blessing from the best [wo]man [[Sarah Hammer]], the recently united Chris and [[Ivy]] leave the church where the wedding was held in a carriage pulled by what many trolls speculate to be a badly-drawn [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]], which is harnessed to the carriage with what appears to be the Boulder Badge from [[Pokémon]].

{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center>
{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="600"
! colspan="4"|The Gallery of My Little Pony Straightness
|-
!Chris' creation
!Original
![[Card games|TCG card]]
!Notes
|-
|[[File:03-CWC Cheroki-Chan1.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Cheroki-Chan
|[[File:Chero.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Seaspray Pose
|[[File:01-Cheroki-Chan_Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]][[File:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Chris's depiction of himself as a pony...or rather, a horse- [[Chris and his Ego|too awesome to be a common pony]]. Just as Chris, Cheroki-Chan has a few [[Autism|quirks]], likes to [[Chris and art|draw and color]], but above all, he is [[Rape|noble and honorable]]. Cheroki-Chan [[Semen|"creams"]] of finding a [[sweetheart]] for himself, yet is having problems, mainly from being rejected once by that [[Chris and race|multi-green pony]], possibly [[Megan|camouflaged]].
|-
|[[File:07-CWC Camo-Flage.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Camo-Flage
|[[File:Camo.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:06-Camo-Flage Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Posible representation of [[Megan Schroeder]]. She [[Friend Zone|rejected]] Cheroki-Chan's advances, and she is Jonhlamence's little sister.<ref>[[:File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:49-CWC Mimmbo Bo Boruto.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Mimmbo Bo Boruto
|[[File:Mimmbo.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:48-Mimmbo Bo Boruto Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Custom pony based on and made for [[Daniel Mimms]]. ''[[Wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' is another inspiration.
|-
|[[File:46-CWC Squall Metal Alchamest.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] [[Wikipedia:Full Metal Alchemist|Squall Metal Alchamest]]
|[[File:Squall.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:45-Squall Metal Alchemest Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|An inter-dimensional pony with [[Barbara|motherly]] issues. Based on [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]],'' though part of the name may come from Squall Leonhart of Final Fantasy 8.
|-
|[[File:10-CWC Crystal.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Crystal
|[[File:Crys.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony Cutie Keen Bean
|[[File:09-Crystal Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Commemorative pony of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], Chris's future daughter.
|-
|[[File:13-CWC Johnlamence.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Jonhlamence's cyberwarrior
|[[File:Sala.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Rarity Unicorn Pose
|[[File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Camo-flage's older brother combined with the [[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (320–386)#Salamence|Salamence]].
|-
|[[File:18-CWC Ty Game2.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ty Game
|[[File:ty_game.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Rainbow Swirl Pose
|[[File:16-Ty Game Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Video games|Gamer]] Pony.
|-
|[[File:22-CWC Bee-Riana.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Bee Riana
|[[File:Bee reana (yellow with the antena.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ponies Toola-Roola (left) and Meadowbrook (right)
|[[File:21-Bee-Riana Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|When he bought the two-Ponies-set, Chris took Toola-Roola's antennae and put them on Meadowbrook to create Bee-Riana. [[Chris and Sex|Toola-Roola hasn't been seen since]].
|-
|[[File:26-CWC Educait.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Educait
|[[File:Edu.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sunny Daze Pose
|[[File:25-Educait Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|A nerdy Pony. It is of the [[Wallflower]] type.
|-
|[[File:30-CWC Honeysumerah.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Honeysumerah
|[[File:Honey.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:29-Honeysumerah Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Based on a [[Britney Spears|shallow Pop Star]]. "Stickler for a tickler" comes from a throwaway ''[[Family Guy]]'' gag, from [[Wikipedia:When You Wish Upon a Weinstein|"When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"]].
|-
|[[File:33-CWC_Modest_Manna.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Modest Manna
|[[File:Modest.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:32-Modest Manna Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Anna McLerran|Mormon]] pony.
|-
|[[File:36-CWC Linnhadey.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Linnhadey
|[[File:Lin.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:35-Linnhadey Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|'[[Autism|Unique]] and [[McDonalds|Lovin' it]]' Pony.
|-
|[[File:43-CWC Federico.JPG|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Federico
|[[File:Fede.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:42-Federico Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Spanish]] Pony. He is annoying because "chicos are chicos." From the rest of his description is impossible to find meaning, both English or Spanish wise.
|-
|[[File:39-CWC Buttonbeck.JPG|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] [[Nudes|Butt]]onbeck
|[[File:Bottom beck.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Diva Pose
|[[File:38-Buttonbeck Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Rosechu|Generic soulless and flavorless]] Pony.
|}
</center>

==See also ==
*[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]
*[[List of toys]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|My Little Pony]] at [[Wikipedia]]
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F12XOB4B Chris's MLP collection photoset download]

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Toys]]

Ohio trip

2012-02-26T05:09:25Z

ReiDemon:

{{quote|"There was this one time where I actually thought [a troll] was a woman, and I actually drove a whole, a whole, a whole day's worth back and forth, almost 24 hours, from my house to Cleveland, Ohio, where it turned out that was, that was, that was a bad lead.|[[Christian Weston Chandler]].<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>
}}
[[File:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|150px|Receipts from his trip to [[Wikipedia:Ohio|Ohio]] in search of [[Julie]] show that he specifically orders his fast-food hamburgers without [[pickle]]s. Also, note that he went to a "[[Sonic]]" fast food joint.]]

The '''Ohio Trip''' was an 800+ mile round-trip car-ride that Chris took from [[14 Branchland Court|his home]] in [[Ruckersville, Virginia]] to Cleveland, Ohio. Chris took the trip on 24 [[February 2009]], under the false pretense that [[Julie]] had been kidnapped and he needed to rescue her.

==Lead up==
During a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 February 2009, Julie first asked Chris if he would come visit her in Ohio. He responded by asking that she come to his house, saying he isn't comfortable traveling long distances, especially by himself.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> Over the next ten days, Chris would change his mind and agree to visit, before backing out again, and then agreeing he would start setting aside money for an eventual trip within the next couple of months, though he might bring his mother along. Julie tried to dissuade him from bringing his mom saying "I was thinking that when you get here...[[sex|you know]]."<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4]]</ref>

During another chat on 22 February, Chris stated that he would "feel at unease if I made the trip without the emotional support of my family". He wanted to have Julie talk to his parents in order to win over their emotional support. Julie replied by saying she was beginning to suspect Chris didn't want to see her. Chris stated his [[mom]] was paranoid for his safety, and she suspected Julie might be a police officer posing as an underaged girl.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 11]]</ref> The next day, Chris reiterated that Barb was still against him going to Ohio. Chris started looking within his church congregation for a different escort for the trip, and suggested [[Rocky]] might be up for it.<ref name="skype12">[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12]]</ref>

Things took a quick turn later that day when [[Max]] informed Chris that Julie had been taken ransom by himself and [[Clyde Cash]]. He stated that he would give Chris five days to come to Ohio and rescue her.<ref name="skype12" /> Unsure on what to do Chris turned to [[trolls|fans]] in a mumble chat for advice. He stated that he still felt insecure about going there against his parent's wishes. Members of the chat persuaded Chris to be proactive, and convinced him it wasn't a "To Catch a Predator" sting. Chris stated he was going to talk to his mother and put his foot down.<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>

The next day (which happened to be his 27th [[birthday]]) Chris went to his [[Aunt Corina]]'s funeral, where he said the spirits of his ancestors wished him a Safe Trip to Ohio.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> That night Chris sent the following email to Clyde Cash:

"I have NOT failed you, sir, as a matter of fact, I am coming to Cleaveland [sic] tomorrow; I am preparing for my journey, my mind is set, and I have the support of [[God]], my relatives and my friends. So quit trying to scare me, because it is NOT working; tomorrow morning, I am coming to Cleaveland [sic], Ohio for Julie."<ref name="clydeemails">[[Clyde E-mails]]</ref>

==The trip==
Chris left at 5:30 the next morning without informing his parents. He left a note for them to read when they woke up, along with a map of his planned trip.<ref name="jackieemails6">[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> After Chris's parents saw the note they called the police, and filed a missing persons report.<ref name="jackieemails6" /> According to [[Bob]], Chris had never driven over fifty miles out of town before. Bob and Barb worried that Chris would get killed.<ref name="emilydate">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

Chris traveled on to Interstate 81, where he took the Pennsylvania Turnpike to the Ohio Turnpike... and locked himself out of [[Son-Chu|his car]]. Workers at a nearby toll booth got AAA Road Assistance to help him get back in to the car.<ref name="emilydate" />

Chris had taken $50 ($40 of which he had got the previous day for his birthday) with him. He found out this would not be enough cash when he was faced with $11 tolls (according to Bob, Chris had never been on a toll road before), starting in Breezewood, Pennsylvania.<ref name="emilydate" /> At around 4:30 that afternoon he stopped in Streetsboro, Ohio to spend money on food and gas. He purchased $11.68 worth of gas from Sheetz, and got a small Hamburger with mayonnaise, and a Lemonberry Slushie from [[Sonic]].<ref>[[:File:Nnocac.jpg]]</ref> According to Chris the slushie was made with real fruit, and
had two lemon wedges in it.<ref>[[Sarah May Skype Logs]]</ref>

When he got just outside of Cleveland he called his parents.<ref name="emilydate" /> Upon arriving at the address he was given, Chris found a run-down old house with an elderly woman residing in it. The woman, nor anyone else he asked in the neighborhood, had heard of Julie or Max.<ref name="clydeemails" /> Chris turned around and headed back to Ruckersville. He arrived back home at 3:00 in the morning.<ref name="emilydate" />

==Aftermath==
Despite being duped by trolls, Chris saw the trip as a positive experience. In an email to Clyde Cash,<ref name="clydeemails" /> Chris stated,
{{EmailReply|
"I traveled an 800+ Mile Round Trip to Cleveland, Ohio, only to find at the address you gave me led me to a run-down old red house with an elderly woman residing in it, but not you nor Julie; no one in that neighborhood even heard of Julie nor Max.

Go ahead, Laugh it up, but I want to THANK YOU very much for the Traveling Expierence; I actually did have a GREAT TIME on the road, and enjoyed the sights and views. :)"}}

Chris's parents did not share the same positive opinion of the trip, and told him if he travels at all after the trip to Cleveland, he would not be allowed back into his home, and will be left homeless or even worse.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 13]]</ref>

==References==
<references/>

{{places}}

[[Category:Events]]

The Red-Maned Deer

2012-02-25T20:10:13Z

ReiDemon:

"'''The Red-Maned Deer'''" (leaked as '''fatty_video_-_aug_12_2011''') is a poetry reading Chris did for [[Jackie]] on 12 [[August 2011]]. It was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. The poem is about Chris [[pedofork|stalking a deer]] and then fucking it. The deer represents Jacky; this was obvious, but Chris feels the need to [[autism|explicitly say this]] at the end. Interestingly, he constantly refers to Jacky as a Red-Maned [[homo|Deer]] rather than a doe. He does say "doe," but he then goes right back to saying "deer".

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = The Red-Maned Deer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jLNUncC6Nm8}}
| stardate = 12 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Striped tank-top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

Hey sweetheart. As I read-- told you in the email, I wrote you a poem recently. Wrote it in my...

''[Pulls out his 3DS]''

...notebook. So I'm gonna read it to you now. Soon as I get it [the camera] right...

''[Fiddles with the camera's position.]''

Camera adjustment... yeah. Okay. Anyway. "The Red-Maned Deer," from me, written yesterday on the eleventh, came to me when I was waking up.

The Red-Maned Deer is quite an elusive and majestic creatcha ''[sic]'' of any forest of this planet earth...and even of the universe. She gallops with sweet grace and style in her hooves of twinkling glitter. Her dazzling coat not only keeps her warm, but beautiful with sexy flare.

Her shimmering red mane is long and w-wild and when the beams of sun and moon shine through, it's godlike (?) majestic. She has eyes green...like a slice of lime. ''[He says lime with a strange accent.]'' Her snout is so cute, like a bunny or a kitten. And her smile and voice, truly cute, and speaks (?) like a newt.

I've dreamt after ''[sic]'' her for months, keeping observation in camouflage. She has an interesting family, including her birth mother and her father a step away. They treat her sadly like a Cinderella, keeping her from seeing her Chris.

Yet the Red-Maned Doe is fully grown, and is very wise and aware of the forest laws. One day, as I followed, to much my surprise, ''[sic]'' turns her head and looks directly at me! I hid for a moment, until she spoke in my language very clear: "Come out, come out my dear, my dear watcher. I have been very aware of you for all these months. I've watched you as you rested, in dine (?) of the forest roots. And like ''[unintelligible]'', please come closer. Stroke my coat, and mane. Allow me to admire your face, close to mine."

I approached with erect elation, her coat smooth as silk, her mane brushing my fingers like a spring breeze. I looked into her eyes, and she to mine. Entranced with her temptation and beauty, I was truly surprised...when she kissed me deep. Damn! And then I kissed her back...and we made truest sweet love.

This was, in fact, NOT an act of [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|bestiality]]. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named Jacklyn Romy ''[pronounces it "Raw-mee"].''

''[Turns the 3DS to the screen.]'' I love you!

''[A few pure, unadulterated seconds of [[the creepy stare]] are interrupted by a terrifying kiss on the camera lense as the video ends.]''

==See also==

*[[An Inspired Poem for Jackie]]

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-12]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2011-08-12]]

My Little Pony

2012-02-25T03:16:18Z

ReiDemon: Yeah, that sentence is a tad too long. Sorry 'bout that.

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Chris_Chan_Pony.png|thumb|Chris Chan: The original brony]]
'''My Little Pony''' (MLP) is a line of [[toys]] intended for girls aged 4-8. While some would believe his interest in the show comes from a [[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|recent revival of the show]] that became unusually popular with the adult male crowd, Chris was actually introduced to the toy by [[Megan]] in 2007.

==Chris and ponies==
[[File:Poorcamo.jpg|thumb|left|One of Chris's ponies, as seen in his [[bedroom]].]]

The homemade ponies vary between being blatant ripoffs of [[anime]] characters, most notably the titular character from ''[[wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' and [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', and horrible [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sues]] such as [[Cherokee|Cheroki-Chan]], who is clearly based on the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic-book version of Chris]] or possibly the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|ancestor character]], and Crystal, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|whose origin is obvious]].

In his infamous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris first made his love of My Little Pony known when he recommended to all his viewers that they buy MLP figures of their favorite color to stroke and rub against their cheek, claiming that it was "very therapeutic" and that one could talk to the ponies and pretend that they were girls they wanted to ask out, to help them build confidence. At the time, this was viewed as a very revealing aspect of Chris's life, earning him the mockery of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4chan]] yet again. Neither of the two parties realized, of course, that years later, they would become fans themselves.

In [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009]], you can see his My Little Ponys hanging from his ceiling.

One of the latest known references to MLP made by Chris was on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where Chris used a picture of Applejack from the more recent ''[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' animated series as his avatar, although his screen name was modeled after the name of another major character in the series- [[Rainbow|Rainbow Dash]].

[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|thumb|Applejack as Chris's avatar on [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]].]]
In a [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|subsequent video]] following these events, he referred to his [[Sonichu|pet series]] as being a ''"TV-Y7 rated... friendship socializing, promoting type of series"'', which echoes the central themes of ''Friendship is Magic'', meaning the series could be considered the type of show he looks up to, and wants his own [[Chris and the industry|animated series]] to be like. [[Chris and writing|It will probably never happen]], but it does give insight on how even after claiming to have given them up on ''My Little Pony'' a long time ago, it appears he still retains interest in them.

A ''Friendship is Magic'' Rainbow Dash toy can be sighted in the background of "[[Correction_of_EX_relationship_status|Correction of EX relationship status]]" and a My Little Pony sticker can be seen on Chris's [[3DS]] in the [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Wristwatch-SwissWatch]] video.

Chris also has a ''Friendship is Magic'' play list on his [[YouTube]] account that includes all the episodes, confirming once and for all his love for a children's show.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL20EBD1B6E8BB9E6F Chris's ''My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic'' playlist on YouTube]</ref> Considering [[Ghostbusters|his]] [[Transformers|previous]] [[Pokemon|track]] [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|record]], it's not exactly surprising.

{{-}}

==In the comics==
[[File:Ponywed.jpg|thumb|Show this to any father with a young daughter and he'd probably think she made it. Purposely bad.]]

Like any eight-year-old girl with the hopes of marrying a blue prince in a fairytale wedding with her BFF pony by her side, [[Wedding_Comic|Sonichu Special 2]] reveals to its unfortunate readers that Chris might have harbored similar thoughts, as his ideal wedding also features a My Little Pony.

After having received a blessing from the best [wo]man [[Sarah Hammer]], the recently united Chris and [[Ivy]] leave the church where the wedding was held in a carriage pulled by what many trolls speculate to be a badly-drawn [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]], which is harnessed to the carriage with what appears to be the Boulder Badge from [[Pokémon]].

{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center>
{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="600"
! colspan="4"|The Gallery of My Little Pony Straightness
|-
!Chris' creation
!Original
![[Card games|TCG card]]
!Notes
|-
|[[File:03-CWC Cheroki-Chan1.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Cheroki-Chan
|[[File:Chero.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Seaspray Pose
|[[File:01-Cheroki-Chan_Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]][[File:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Chris's depiction of himself as a pony...or rather, a horse- [[Chris and his Ego|too awesome to be a common pony]]. Just as Chris, Cheroki-Chan has a few [[Autism|quirks]], likes to [[Chris and art|draw and color]], but above all, he is [[Rape|noble and honorable]]. Cheroki-Chan [[Semen|"creams"]] of finding a [[sweetheart]] for himself, yet is having problems, mainly from being rejected once by that [[Chris and race|multi-green pony]], possibly [[Megan|camouflaged]].
|-
|[[File:07-CWC Camo-Flage.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Camo-Flage
|[[File:Camo.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:06-Camo-Flage Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Posible representation of [[Megan Schroeder]]. She [[Friend Zone|rejected]] Cheroki-Chan's advances, and she is Jonhlamence's little sister.<ref>[[:File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:49-CWC Mimmbo Bo Boruto.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Mimmbo Bo Boruto
|[[File:Mimmbo.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:48-Mimmbo Bo Boruto Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Custom pony based on and made for [[Daniel Mimms]]. ''[[Wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' is another inspiration.
|-
|[[File:46-CWC Squall Metal Alchamest.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] [[Wikipedia:Full Metal Alchemist|Squall Metal Alchamest]]
|[[File:Squall.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:45-Squall Metal Alchemest Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|An inter-dimensional pony with [[Barbara|motherly]] issues. Based on [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]],'' though part of the name may come from Squall Leonhart of Final Fantasy 8.
|-
|[[File:10-CWC Crystal.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Crystal
|[[File:Crys.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony Cutie Keen Bean
|[[File:09-Crystal Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Commemorative pony of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], Chris's future daughter.
|-
|[[File:13-CWC Johnlamence.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Jonhlamence's cyberwarrior
|[[File:Sala.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Rarity Unicorn Pose
|[[File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Camo-flage's older brother combined with the [[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (320–386)#Salamence|Salamence]].
|-
|[[File:18-CWC Ty Game2.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ty Game
|[[File:ty_game.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Rainbow Swirl Pose
|[[File:16-Ty Game Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Video games|Gamer]] Pony.
|-
|[[File:22-CWC Bee-Riana.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Bee Riana
|[[File:Bee reana (yellow with the antena.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ponies Toola-Roola (left) and Meadowbrook (right)
|[[File:21-Bee-Riana Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|When he bought the two-Ponies-set, Chris took Toola-Roola's antennae and put them on Meadowbrook to create Bee-Riana. [[Chris and Sex|Toola-Roola hasn't been seen since]].
|-
|[[File:26-CWC Educait.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Educait
|[[File:Edu.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sunny Daze Pose
|[[File:25-Educait Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|A nerdy Pony. It is of the [[Wallflower]] type.
|-
|[[File:30-CWC Honeysumerah.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Honeysumerah
|[[File:Honey.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:29-Honeysumerah Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Based on a [[Britney Spears|shallow Pop Star]]. "Stickler for a tickler" comes from a throwaway ''[[Family Guy]]'' gag, from [[Wikipedia:When You Wish Upon a Weinstein|"When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"]].
|-
|[[File:33-CWC_Modest_Manna.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Modest Manna
|[[File:Modest.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:32-Modest Manna Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Anna McLerran|Mormon]] pony.
|-
|[[File:36-CWC Linnhadey.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Linnhadey
|[[File:Lin.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:35-Linnhadey Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|'[[Autism|Unique]] and [[McDonalds|Lovin' it]]' Pony.
|-
|[[File:43-CWC Federico.JPG|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Federico
|[[File:Fede.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:42-Federico Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Spanish]] Pony. He is annoying because "chicos are chicos." From the rest of his description is impossible to find meaning, both English or Spanish wise.
|-
|[[File:39-CWC Buttonbeck.JPG|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] [[Nudes|Butt]]onbeck
|[[File:Bottom beck.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Diva Pose
|[[File:38-Buttonbeck Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Rosechu|Generic soulless and flavorless]] Pony.
|}
</center>

==See also ==
*[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]
*[[List of toys]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|My Little Pony]] at [[Wikipedia]]
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F12XOB4B Chris's MLP collection photoset download]

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Toys]]

Joseph Herring

2012-02-23T05:46:17Z

ReiDemon:

[[Image:0245-JosephWHerring98.jpg|thumb|left|Joe in real life...]]
[[Image:JoeHerring.jpg|right|thumb|right|120px|...and as Chris depicted him.]]

'''Joseph Herring''' (born December 14, 1979) was one of Chris's few male "buddies". They were water boys for the varsity basketball team at [[Manchester High School]]. Two years older, Joseph told Chris about his girlfriend. Chris consoled him when he got dumped.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> According to Chris, she gave him a "bum steer".<ref>[[:Image:0232-CWCNote3.jpg|DVD 99]]</ref>

Chris once rode in Joseph's jeep when the buses failed to turn up for one game.<ref>[[:Image:0232-CWCNote3.jpg|DVD 99]]</ref>

Joseph (later [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] as '''Joe Herr''') appears in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']] only, during a time travel storyline. Like many teens, he is depicted in the comic with a bad case of acne. It was presumed that [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]] employs the use of the [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally handicapped]] and horribly disfigured students to clean jock straps and refill water bottles. A pimply character similar to Joe appears in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] with a girlfriend, both of whom are split apart due to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s quest to [[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal in Virginia]]. It is unknown if this throwaway character is intended to be Joe. The reasons given in the comic for his breakup with his girlfriend involve an incident in a restaurant involving "spilled soup" and "tossed salad."

When high res images from the [[DVD]] slideshow were released, it was discovered that Joseph was a fairly good-looking young man, with a clean face, neat hair, and formal clothing; it is likely that Chris drew him horribly disfigured [[Chris and his Ego|to make himself look good]] in comparison.
{{-}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Herring, Joseph}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Flame the Sunbird

2012-02-22T05:43:54Z

ReiDemon:

[[Image:071-Flame.jpg|right|thumb||Flame or Kazooie? YOU DECIDE!]]
[[File:Fire island.jpg|right|thumb|Flame's home on Rainbow Island.]]
{{quote|Flame is the Sunbird protector of the Master Sunstone on the mysterious Rainbow Island. He can fly sky-high, the sun does not bother him at all.|[[:Image:284-ACFlameBck.jpg|Flame the Sunbird Animal Crossing card]], clearly displaying Chris's knowledge of how to use a comma}}

'''Flame the Sunbird''' is a large red male bird who lives on an island and is tasked with the protection of the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]].

Flame is a [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripoff]] of [[wikipedia:Banjo-Kazooie_(series)#Characters|Kazooie]] from the ''Banjo-Kazooie'' series, and possibly also [http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Bean_the_Dynamite Bean the Dynamite] from the arcade game ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic the Fighters|Sonic the Fighters]]''.

{{quote|I could use some pants.|Flame, randomly [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping off]] a line from ''[[Wikipedia:Pokémon: The Movie 2000|Pokémon: The Movie 2000]]''}}
==Comic appearances==
===''Sonichu'' #3===
Flame's role is to look after the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]]; however, it is stolen by [[Blake]] acting under the orders of [[Giovanni]]. Just to reiterate, his entire purpose in life is to protect an immensely powerful jewel, only to have it stolen by some ripoff of a ripoff in an eyeblink ''mere seconds after being introduced.'' It is later returned to its correct place when the [[Chaotic Combo]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] defeat Blake. There is no indication that security on the Sunstone has been strengthened since, despite its enormous power and the ease with which Blake stole it.

===''Sonichu'' #8===

Flame also appears in the Episode 18 Prologue. When the Chaotic Combo are celebrating their nineteenth birthday, Flame is in attendance. He has not been seen since, even in the massive [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] everybody-shows-up-again brawl.

==A Pokémon?==
[[Image:SchuDrillPeck.jpg|right|thumb||Flame, who is '''not''' a Pokémon, using the Pokémon attack Drill Peck.]]
Interestingly enough, in his introduction, Flame remarks that he is not a [[Pokémon]], nor is he related to one. Only a few pages later, he uses the Pokémon move Drill Peck when chasing Blake as he escapes on his hoverboard. Why Chris bothered to contradict himself like that is never explained.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:283-ACFlame.jpg
Image:284-ACFlameBck.jpg
Image:285-YuFlame.jpg
</gallery></center>

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]

Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs

2012-02-19T16:17:26Z

ReiDemon: Spacing, changing some grammar (We're an encyclopaedia, not an advert)

[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]] is a short story written by [[Chris]] dated 10 April [[2003]], approximately one year before [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] was released. The short story serves as a basis for the [[Sonichu_0#Episode_2:_.22Genesis_of_the_Lovehogs.22|eponyomous episode 2 title]] along with the pilot episode.

The plot is very similar to issue #0, except that this version mentions that Knuckles and Tails brought the [[Chaos Emeralds]] to [[Sonic]], and the story takes place in [[Sonichu chronology#2000|2000]], not [[Sonichu chronology#1998|1998]] as Chris later said.

All spelling and grammatical errors are Chris's own.

==Text==
The city of [[Station Square]], a big city filled with everyday business and excitement. But on this fateful day in [[Sonichu chronology#2000|2000]], a monster rose from within the confines of the Master Emerald, combined with the negative power of the seven [[Chaos Emeralds]] to destroy the city. Floods spewed from the sewers, water raged from the buildings, and everything was being ripped apart. Then when the eye of the monster’s storm was upon the city, it formed from the waters its “Perfect” form. The monster came to be [[Perfect Chaos Monster|Perfect Chaos]].

At this time, only one hope was available to help, and his name was [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]. After his friends, Tails Knuckles and [[Amy Rose|Amy]] collected the de-energized emeralds, they brought them to Sonic. Chaos only used the negative power of the emeralds, so Sonic should have been able to use the positive energy to stop the monster. So with the emeralds, and the positive cheers from the survivors of the disaster, Sonic transformed into Super Sonic. With the power of the emeralds flowing through his body, he set out to destroy Perfect Chaos.

Not far from the city, in a field of flowers, a boy [[pikachu]] was playing around. When it heard the chaos going on in the city, it got curious. So it ran as fast as it could to see what was going on. When it got there, it ran onto the edge of a broken freeway ramp. There it watched as Super Sonic ran into the monster’s torso and spiraled up and out its mouth. Needing to hit the monster in the same manner, Super Sonic rushed again at such a speed. And once again, he ran in and came out the mouth. But this time he collided with the by-standing pikachu, and the powers from the emeralds were being copied into the pikachu, and they emitted a bright light that caused a large, long [[rainbow]].

Meanwhile, about a few miles from the city at a shore-side of a lake, there was a wooden cottage occupied with a lovely pokemon trainer. Her name was [[Kel]], short for [[Kellie Andes|Kellie]], with brown hair, average figure, 16 years of age and a very cheerful personality. At this time, she was studying up on what the qualifications were for participating in the Johto League and which strategies she and her pokemon would use.

Just outside the cottage, her girl [[raichu]] was playing freely in the grass. When it heard a loud explosion from the collision of Super Sonic and pikachu, then it glanced up into the direction of Station Square, standing still. The emitted rainbow flew through the sky, the end of it landing on raichu. Raichu and pikachu both were shining brightly as if they were going to evolve.

Just then, Kel noticed raichu’s shining light through her window. So she put her book down, and rushed outside with shock as she was wondering what was going on; was raichu evolving, did it learn a new attack or what? It was all so strange to her.

Then raichu and pikachu started to grow and transform. Raichu transformed into a lovely pink hedgehog with a magenta dress, tank-top and boots, all with a blue stripe on each item. She also had a white accessory on her head. And her tail was as long as before, but it was white, and the bolt on the end was yellow. Kel was frightened when she said, “Raichu,…is that you? What happened?” Then, surprisingly, the pokemon spoke, “I…I…don’t know, Kel.” Kel let out a gasp. The pokemon then said, “I seem to have transformed into a new kind of pokemon,…and I am not sure of what to make of it.” Then, it turned around and gazed at Kel. Kel was further shocked, but then, she calmed down and said, “R-R-Raichu,…you are as beautiful as a rose.” Then she had an idea, “That’s it! Since you are now a new type of pokemon, how about we call you, [[Rosechu]]?” Rosechu replied, “Wow, that’s very nice of you to give me such a nice name. Thank you. So from now on I will be known as Rosechu.”

Meanwhile, back at Station Square, the what-was pikachu came to, hearing the crowd’s cheer, “Sonic, Sonic, Sonic…” Then he examined himself, finding that he was still yellow, had new spikes on its head and back, still had its pika-tail and was wearing blue shoes with two brown stripes on each one. He then stood up and glanced at the situation. Super Sonic was starting to get tired from zooming so fast into the monster. Then, he spoke, “Wow, what a mess.” He then gasped. “I am no longer the pikachu I used to be.” The crowd was still cheering Sonic on. The pokemon assessed the situation, and realized that the monster had to be destroyed. So, with all his courage, he ran alongside the buildings towards the monster. When he got close enough, he waited for Super Sonic to attack and escape. After Super Sonic escaped from the monster, the pokemon let out a mighty thunderbolt attack. Thus shocking the monster into extinction and evaporation.

The crowd believed that Sonic was the one who saved the day. But at the time, no one knew that a pokemon helped. Later on, in a distance, the pokemon was running for a while, and then stopped at a Cliffside. Then he pondered, “I am a new pokemon, I am no longer a pikachu. But I have decided on a new name.” Then he proudly stood and shouted to the world, “Do not fear, world, for I am a new pokemon. And my name is….[[Sonichu]]!” Yes, Sonichu, a proud pokemon, free to help when needed and a real hero.

After a few weeks had passed, Kel got used to having a Rosechu instead of a raichu. One day, Sonichu came upon the lake-side with hunger. He spotted a lit-up cottage, he thought, maybe if he asked nicely, he might get something for his stomach. So he knocked on the door, and heard a girl say, “I’ll get it.” The door opened and a pink hedgehog pokemon greeted Sonichu with surprise that she was not the only hedgehog pokemon after all. She said to Sonichu, “Hi. My name is Rosechu. And you are?” Sonichu then introduced himself and explained his hunger. Rosechu replied, “Sure, my master, Kel, is a friendly trainer. I’m sure she will share her wonderful cooking with such a handsome pokemon as yourself. Come in.” Sonichu then entered the cottage. Kel was cooking in the kitchen when Rosechu came in and said, “Kel, we have a guest tonight, a wild pokemon, his name is Sonichu.” Kel turned around and gasped as she was looking at two hedgehog pokemon of the same variety. Kel replied, “Wow, another hedgehog. It’s very nice to meet you, Sonichu.” Sonichu then said, “Thank you. I was feeling a bit hungry, and I was wondering if I may join you all for dinner.” Kel happily replied, “Sure thing. Just seat yourself at the table; dinner will be ready shortly. Rosey, please sit with Sonichu until when dinner is ready.” So, Rosechu and Sonichu sat at the table and shared stories about their adventures in the wild, and with Kel.

After dinner, Sonichu became full, and said, “Aaahh, that was a good meal. Thank you.” Rosechu replied, “We’re just happy to oblige. Sonichu, would you like to walk along the lake with me?” Sonichu replied, “Sure, sounds like fun.” Then Sonichu and Rosechu walked out together. Kel looked out at them with a smile on her face, because she had hope that Rosechu and Sonichu would be happy together.

Outside, Sonichu and Rosechu were sitting on a big rock, gazing at [[the Moon]] and its reflection in the lake. And they looked into each other’s eyes lovingly. Then their lips puckered and [[Rule 34|they kissed each other]]. It was then that started the pair of loving hedgehogs.

The End.

==Source==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//schustory.htm Sonichu's Story]
{{Writings}}

[[Category:Prose]]

A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story

2012-02-19T06:52:56Z

ReiDemon: /* Synopsis */ "Stop outright flaming Chris."

{{Unfinished}}

[[Image:SonichuChristmas.jpg|thumb|Chris's logo. Nice.]]
"'''A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story'''" is a [[Christmas]]-themed stream-of-consciousness short story that [[Chris]] started in the late evening of 13 [[December 2009]]. It appears that Chris began writing without any clear idea of what the overall story was, which led to [[stress]] and Chris giving up halfway through - proof that even when given a basic template used for generations Chris will still fail.

As of this current time, the project remains unfinished, presumed forgotten.

[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] features a comic adaptation of this story (also unfinished).

==Synopsis==

It is [[Sonichu chronology#2008|December 2008]] in [[CWCville]]. The thoughts of CWCville's citizens have turned to shopping, "[[Santa Clause]]", and religion, in that order. The churches are full of Christians, and [[Christmas#Other confessions|Jews and Buddhists]] have also apparently gathered in the churches to celebrate, as [[Chris and religion|Chris knows little about foreign cultures]]. Chris casually notes that CWCville has so many homeless people that it requires ten homeless shelters/soup kitchens.

[[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], able-bodied adults who [[Monthly tugboat|do not work]], prepare to lavish expensive gifts on their children in their state-appointed housing while across town the apparent throngs of destitute homeless people huddle for warmth in overcrowded flophouses (Chris calls them [[Mailbag 18|"Soup Hotels!"]]). Chris believes toddlers can do a lot, as [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Cerah, Christine and Robbie]] hang stockings, butcher a [[wikipedia:A Visit from St. Nicholas|classic Christmas poem]] (somehow in song form - the proper [[Chris and music|melody]] only exists in Chris's head), rehearse for the overtly Christian school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them appears to be in elementary school, so Chris likely forgot how old they were supposed to be (the eldest, Cerah, is two years old).

Robbie and Sonichu have a lengthy conversation about toys and video games. Most of the conversation is centered around why Sonichu doesn't get more presents. Chris adds a note suggesting that the wireless [[PS3]] controller should have some kind of special strap, so he could lash the controller to his feeble, sweaty hands without having to worry about dropping it.

[[Women's rights|Staying in the kitchen]], Rosechu and Cera bake cookies for their Christmas party, which will occur in nine days. Cera has baked a single "[[duck|candle-shaped]]" cookie for the [[Racism|token Jew]] she invited to the party. Cera tells Rosechu that she made him a vanilla cookie, so he wouldn't fall prey to some Jew food allergy from eating a peanut butter or chocolate cookie. It is unclear whether the children are allotted one cookie each, or Kevin (the Jewish character) is only given one cookie as some kind of punishment for not believing in the divinity of [[Jesus]]. Rosechu high-fives Cera for her half-hearted attempt at being culturally sensitive.

=="A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas"==

'''A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas'''

By Christian Weston Chandler, December 13, 2009.

===Act 1===

It is [[Sonichu chronology#2008|December 12, 2008]], in the City of [[Cwcville]], Virginia. The majority of the citizens of Cwcville are full of the Christmas Cheer and Holiday Joy. Carolers are singing in various parts of the city. There's a Santa Clause in the middle of the Shopping Mall. The Biggest, Greatly Decorated Christmas Tree occupies the center of CWC-Central Park. All the churches are full with all the believers, be they Christians, Jewish folk, Buddhists, and such. Christmas Trees (mostly) and Menorahs light up most every house, apartment, store and all the living spaces. Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. Although there tend to be one or two [[Bob|humbugged individuals]] within each group of people.

On this jolly day, we focus on the little house on 14 Brunchville Lane, where we see the Sonichu Family putting the finishing touches on decorating their house. Mama Rosechu and Cera are baking Christmas Cookies of fun and various shapes of Chocolate Chip, Peanut Butter and even Gingerbread. Christine is in her bedroom, rehearsing and trying on her [[Virgin with rage|Mary]] Outfit for the Christmas Play at the [[Barbara|AnneWeston]] Elementary School. Robbie and Papa Sonichu, with their fully-decorated Christmas Tree behind them, are putting up the Stockings by the fireplace in the Rec Room.

Robbie had just hung his stocking up, between Cera's and Christine's stockings, when he chimes in singing happily, "And the stockings were hung by the chimney with care; we three children knowing Santa would soon be there." Sonichu smiles for Robbie, kneels down for eye-contact, then asks him, "Hey, partner, what do you think Santa will fill your stocking with?" Robbie thinks for a few seconds and replies, "I snail-mailed him a letter asking to put some candy in it, and maybe a copy of the new Wii [[Sonichu's Edge|Olympic]] game featuring Uncle Sonic. OOH! And I asked Santa to put the big [[Lego]] [[Jerkops|Police]] Station Set under the tree for me, along with what he will bring for Cera, Christine and you and Mama." Robbie smiles. Sonichu replies, "I don't know about me and Mama; Santa usually brings more for the children." Robbie's smile quickly fades and he asks, "Why does Santa bring less for the grown-ups?" "Well, Santa understands that adults like me and Mama require [[monthly tugboat|less]]," Sonichu replies, "and besides which, we usually treat each other on the presents." Robbie replies, "But Cera, Christine and I chip in for you and Mama too." "Yes y'all do," Sonichu replies, "on Christmas, as well as the other 364 days in your own cute ways; a smile, drawings, and the [[Captain%27s_Log,_Stardate_August_12th,_2009|time we share together as a family."]] Robbie thinks on that for a moment, and he remembers his drawings of sailboats, Papa Sonichu winning a Wrestler's Belt in the match and the family gathered together. He also remembers the games of catching the football, running training around the yard, even High Velocity Bowling on the [[Playstation 3]] ([[Autism|with a custom-fitted Wii wrist-strap attached to the Dualshock 3 Controller. I.M.H.O., ALL wireless controllers should be made with the accessory hole for the wrist straps]]). After all that remembering, Robbie replies with a smile, "Yes we do."

Meanwhile, in the [[Kitchen]], Rosechu and Cera have almost finished baking all the cookies for the upcoming Christmas Party. Cera looks at some of the cookies and smells their goodness. Rosechu looks over her shoulder from the sink, almost empty of the dirty cooking tools that were to be cleaned, because most of them were already cleaned and washed, and tells Cera, "They smell really good, huh?" Cera replies, "Yes, Mama. Delicious," with a few crumbs hanging from her lips, because she ate one peanut butter cookie. The oven bell dings as the last batch of cookies are done. Rosechu washes her hands, dries them, then switches the oven off and opens the oven with an oven mitt on her right hand. and pulls the tray of cookies out. The smell of warm gingerbread refills the air. Cera wipes off her mouth with a napkin from the table, and fetches a fresh, clean spatula from the clean countertop and hands it to Rosechu. The cookies are gently lifted from the tray then are stacked onto a clean plate to cool. Cera exclaims, "I am looking forward to the party, mama. I am happy you allowed our friends from school to come too." Rosechu replies, "That's okay, sweetie." Cera continues with a question, holding a cookie in a zip-loc bag, "I've invited Kevin too; do you think he'll like this candle-shaped cookie I made for him? He told me he was [[Michael Snyder|Jewish]], and I thought it would be appropriate." Rosechu replies, "I think he'll love it. You have made it really special with the white frosting for the wax and the yellow for the flame. Uh, what kind of cookie was it again?" "Vanilla", replies Cera, "I felt it best to keep it neutral, in case he was allergic to the peanut butter or chocolate." "Very Smart," says Rosechu with a smile, exchanging a high-five with Cera. The two put all the cookies into multiple zip-loc bags to be saved for the party on the 21st.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7tea2OYHGxw}}
| Stardate = 15 December 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}

==See also:==
{{CWCipedia|chris=A_Sonichu_and_Rosechu_Christmas}}
*[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], containing a comic version of this [[Fail|masterpiece]].
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]
*[[A Sonichu Day]], another day with Sonichu's family.

{{Writings}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas STory}}
[[Category:Prose]]

Sonic the Hedgehog

2012-02-19T01:48:37Z

ReiDemon: /* Comics */

{{quote|"Sonic the Hedgehog is my lifelong hero.|[[Christian Weston Chandler]].}}
[[Image:Sonichuripoff.jpg|thumb|150px|Some poorly drawn rip-off of [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Sonic the Hedgehog''' is a shitty recolor of beloved [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. [[Sega]]'s blatant plagiarism has given Chris [[Stress|many sleepless nights]].

Chris claims that Sonic has been his "life long hero"<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPv7MqvrDK0&feature=player_embedded#!</ref> since June [[1990]][''sic'']<ref>''Sonic the Hedgehog'' wasn't released until June [[1991]] - see [[Wikipedia:Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(video_game)|here]]. Interestingly, this is also a question on Chris's [[Quizzes#Sonic_the_Hedgehog_History|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' MyBuzz quiz]] which Chris assigns the right answer of June 1991.</ref>, replacing [[The American Rabbit]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref>

==History==
Chris likely first learned about Sonic from watching the cartoon show [[Wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|''Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog'']], involving the basic plot of Sonic and Tails running around to defeat [[Robotnik]], who was portrayed as a [[Obesity|plump]], [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]] man who would endeavor to conquer Mobius and destroy Sonic, failing spectacularly each time. The show was promoted via a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|contest]], with the grand prize being a [[Chris and money|$1,000 video game shopping spree]]. Chris was one of the two winners of the shopping spree and was featured in a news story about the contest, one of the biggest moments (if not ''the'' biggest moment) in his early life, spreading its influence far and wide, from his decisions to enter contests (cf. [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|''Harvey Birdman'' Commercial]], [[Pixelated PS3]]) to the eventual creation of [[Sonichu]]. Chris's loyalty was so strong that he was visibly upset when told by bullies that Sonic was dead.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 9|Jackie Chat #9]]</ref>

The reason Chris ''remains'' so unerringly loyal to ''Sonic'' is unknown.

==Role in the comics==
Sonic first appears in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] as Super Sonic battling the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] in [[Station Square]]. Whilst battling him, a [[Pikachu]] comes to fight Perfect Chaos and is tackled by Sonic. The power of the Chaos Emeralds mutates said Pikachu into [[Sonichu]], who then defeats Perfect Chaos.

[[Sonichu 1|In the following issue]], he crashes into Sonichu again. After recognizing each other, they team up in order to rescue [[Rosechu]] from the clutches of [[Black Sonichu]].

Other than being the catalyst for the creation of Sonichu and teaming up with him in the second issue, Sonic serves no other purpose. He disappears after issue #1, never mentioned again until [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], where [[Robbie]] sickeningly refers to him as "Uncle Sonic".

===Tails's lack of a role in the comics===
'''Miles "Tails" Prower''' is Sonic's sidekick, and has been in the franchise since [[Wikipedia:Sonic The Hedgehog 2|''Sonic the Hedgehog II'']] was released in [[1992]] for the [[Wikipedia:Sega Master System|Sega Master System]]. He has been featured in almost every form of ''Sonic''-related media such as cartoons, anime, and comic books. As such, many have been perplexed on why neither he nor an idiot ripoff (likely named "Prowerlo Sonichu") has made an appearance in ''Sonichu''.
[[Image:0860-Cwcville9.JPG|thumb|He did make a lego version of tails.]]
Chris has refused to include Tails in his comics, despite ripping off Knuckles and Shadow and featuring an [[Transformers|Autobot]] named "[[Prower]]". It is likely Tails was omitted because of the rumors (made by [[BlueSpike|thirteen-year-olds]] on [[GameFAQs|GameFAGs]] and Failgrounds) that Sonic and Tails were a [[homos|gay]] couple. Chris said that "I just did not feel need for a Tails-like Character in the stories. I disagree with all the rumors against Tails; if you read the [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' Comic Book Series]] from Archie Comics, Tails gets a Girlfriend."<ref>[[Mailbag_21#Why no Tails?|Mailbag #21]]</ref> He later claims that he "did not feel it appropriate for Tails to be in my comic."<ref>[[Mailbag_38#Chris is an expert matchmaker|Mailbag #38]]</ref>
Despite this, Chris ''did'' create a Tails-like [[Pokémon]] named Evails, though he only appeared on the [[Wall of Originals]]. Tails also gets a mention in "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]", a Sonichu short story which predates the comics.

== Amy Rose ==
'''Amy Rose''' is a ''[[Sonic]]'' character created in [[1993]], making her first appearance in the game [[Wikipedia:Sonic CD|''Sonic CD'']]. She serves as the self-proclaimed love interest of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]. In fleshing out the world of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], Chris quickly ripped off the character to serve as Sonichu's girlfriend, [[Rosechu]].

[[Image:Chrischan_traced.jpg|thumb|Yep, definitely different.]]

While Sonichu is essentially a recolor of Sonic with a Pikachu tail shoved up his ass, Rosechu is a much more direct rip-off. Like Amy Rose, Rosechu has green eyes and pink fur, with the spines on her head arranged to resemble a bob haircut. Both wear red boots and dresses, with Rosechu's having a blue trim in a slightly different pattern to Amy's white trim. Visually, the only obvious distinction between the two is the [[Raichu]] tail Rosechu has, and the spines on the center of Amy's forehead, which Rosechu lacks. It should be noted, however, that when Chris draws Amy, he [[Chris and art|fails]] to draw the forehead spines properly.

{{quote|MAJOR Differences between Amy and Rosie; Amy never had spikes on her back, the clothes are Different; Rosie’s Headband is White, not Red, and Rosechu has a modern girl kinda attitude, and lucky for her, Sonichu RARELY runs away from her charms. And, of course, she has her Electric-Type Attacks to boot.|Christian Weston Chandler, damning himself with [[The Sonichu Chronicles|faint praise]].}}

[[Image: Rosechu-AmyRose2.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Even Chris is bored with this sexist gabfest.]]

As Chris points out, the only real difference between Amy and Rosechu in terms of characterization is that while Amy's crush on Sonic is not reciprocated, Sonichu has been sucking face with Rosechu since the [[Sonichu 0|day they met]]. Obviously, this hardly marks a difference in their ''personality''. If anything, it says more about the differences between Sonic and Sonichu, since they respond differently to affection. Since she's already made her romantic conquest, Rosechu is free to pursue the life of a "modern girl", which apparently means [[Sonichu 8|face-raping people]] and producing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|amateur pornography]].

[[Image: Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|thumb|200px|left|Sheesh, they even think the same words.]]

As an epilogue to the Sonichu/Sonic team-up in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], Rosechu happens to meet Amy in [[CWCville Mall]]. With no hint of irony, the two remark upon how similar they are, and engage in a [[Women's Rights|vapid conversation about shopping and relationships]].

== Shadow the Hedgehog ==
Introduced in [[2001]]'s [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure 2|''Sonic Adventure 2'']], '''Shadow the Hedgehog''' is an anti-hero version of Sonic the Hedgehog. Quickly becoming a fan favorite among the ''Sonic'' family of characters, it was only a matter of time before [[Chris]] decided to "create" another [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]...

Unlike [[Rosechu]], who is virtually identical to Amy in every relevant respect, [[Black Sonichu]] (Blake) only resembles Shadow in his color scheme and tenuous allegiance to the forces of evil. While Shadow is primarily motivated by his desire to learn about his mysterious past, Black Sonichu was informed of every aspect of his creation by [[Naitsirhc]]. Most notably, while Shadow is supposed to be a dark and edgy character, Black Sonichu is basically just a punk, committing blatant mischief for very transparent motives.

While this might seem to make Black Sonichu halfway original, it really only means that he's a poor copy of [[Sonichu]] instead of a slightly less poor copy of Shadow. Blake's only real claim to individuality was that he acted like an asshole; since falling for [[Bubbles]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he doesn't even have that going for him.

Shadow makes one appearance in the ''Sonichu'' canon when he shows up as a drummer for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]], but is later replaced by [[Punchy Sonichu]].

==Comics==
[[File:Sth189.jpg|thumb|right|More likely than not a bigger inspiration than the games series itself.]]

Sonic comics are almost as numerous as the games themselves, pumped out at a whim for a buck; they even made series specific for each region of the world. The one Chris is familiar with is the one published by Archie Comics, published in, obviously, America.

Chris has hinted at and mentioned that he is familiar with this comic series, and the layout of his comics tends to replicate the style of early Archie ''Sonic'' covers. Reldnahc's calling Chris "Prime-Chan" in the comic may be a reference to the character [[Wikipedia:List_of_Sonic_the_Hedgehog_comic_book_characters#Evil_Sonic.2FScourge_the_Hedgehog|Scourge the Hedgehog]], an evil version of Sonic from another dimension; Sonic is referred to as "Sonic Prime" when dealing with inter-dimensional storylines. Chris has also been known to trace images from an early special of the comic, "Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles", for the basis of some of his fight scenes, and one of the early shorts, entitled "Sonichu 25 Years Later," takes its name from a 2004 arc called "Mobius 25 Years Later." Whether he still reads the comics now or not is unknown. He has stated that he would like ''Sonichu'' to be published by Archie Comics.<ref>[[IRC (22 December 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat #6]]</ref> If Chris still reads it, it will probably be a source of plagiarism and mass-debating for years to come.

Starting in [[April 2010]], [[Sony]] began releasing the Archie ''Sonic'' comics for download via the [[Playstation Network]].<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/22/playstation-comics-store-update-17/ PlayStation Comics Store Update]</ref> The likelihood that Chris has purchased them? [[Chris and money|Close to 100%.]]

==Plagiarism==
To put it bluntly, Sonichu is a [[copyright]] infringement. Chris tries to work around this fact by claiming that Sonichu is a [[parody]] of Sonic the Hedgehog, but Sonichu does not really derive humour or provide commentary on the original franchise.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|Chris drew this in between ages 8 and 28.
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|He's a street smart cop with twenty years on the force! He's a rookie straight out of academy! Together, they fight crime!
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|Because we all like to see our favorite heroes crossover one day! [[Sonichu 1|Oh wait!]]
Image:0065-Sonic.jpg|Sonic looking an awful lot like Chris.
Image:326-SonicJamCard.jpg|...I thought the answer was "Aim for the [[Sonichu 4|sourdough region]]"?
Image:327-SonicJamCardBck.jpg|[[6 June 2010|Yep,]] [[Don't Mess With Me|that]] [[Sonichu 10|most]] [[Autism Tutorial Extra|certainly ]][[28 October 2011|taught]] [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|him.]]
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|0-0 [http://www.geekologie.com/2009/12/um_yeah_maybe_get_somebody_els.php Geekologie Reader] does not approve of Chris's artwork.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Sonic the Blowfish
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Chris makes his own [[Jimmy Hill|unlicensed ''Sonic'' merchandise]].
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG|Hello, lawsuit.
Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|Chris was so excited, he produced [[dirty, crapped briefs]].
Image:0077-SonicDoll.jpg|Chris still has this doll and it has seen [[For Julie's Eyes Only|horrible things]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[Doctor Robotnik]]
* [[Chris and copyright]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic the Hedgehog]] on [[Wikipedia]]

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Stubs|Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

User:ReiDemon

2012-02-14T00:30:44Z

ReiDemon:

I'm a stranger to the CWCki, but not to Chris-chan or Wikis in general.

Although I'm more active on another Wiki, I'll primarily be doing small-level maintenance edits to the CWCki; it seems most everyone else here know more about what they're doing than I.

More at eleven.

Chris and art

2012-02-12T02:58:41Z

ReiDemon: /* Visual style and anatomy */

{{quote|She theorizes it’s because I'm a creative genius.|Chris, talking about his [[mom]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>}}

[[Image:ProportionFail.jpg|thumb|Chris is an expert at proportion]]
[[File:Billy mays hand.png|thumb|Something's not right with this picture...]]
'''Art''' has been, and always will be, [[Chris]]'s selling point. From the very day [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] found out about Chris and his creation of [[Sonichu]] to today, many people have taken interest in Chris because of his infamously bad artwork. Encouraging Chris to produce more of it remains a popular troll objective.

==Chris and the medium==

=== Exercise of skills and improvement in craft ===
[[Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|Chris's earliest known drawing from when he was 15. No, not 1.5 - ''fifteen''{{cite}}.]]
[[Image:0025-ChristophersMicroMornings.jpg|thumb|left|Not bad for a grade-schooler.]]
Chris does not seem to consider his artistic skill in need of revision; he is always fully satisfied by the first attempt at a drawing he makes.

Naturally, being an artist of that caliber, Chris takes it upon himself to criticize the art that [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fans]] send to him, and is quick to point out the myriad "flaws" in each work.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#After Emily]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation#Part 2]]</ref>

Chris has said he spends "an hour at most" drawing a comic page and about a half-hour coloring it.<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In which Chris insults someone who drew a picture for him]]</ref> He does not seem to be aware of the fact that producing the kind of high quality artwork that fans expect in a good comic strip is very labor intensive and can easily take hours even with professional software programs such as Photoshop. He also doesn't seem to understand, or care, that any good artist will draw a scene multiple times before they publish it, especially if there are mistakes. In any Episode of Sonichu you will be sure to find some mistake Chris has made that he refuses to redo and simply colors over. One good example is the scene from Chris and Ivy going to a hotel to have "the sex" [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg]. If you look at the scene, you can see multiple mistakes that any artist would have seen as a reason to redo the picture. Chris started to draw his balls (via tracing) but decided he didn't like the proportions that presented, so he decided to keep the start of the trace and just add some "speed lines", if you look at the picture of Ivy you will see that Chris messed up a bit around her face but decided that instead of redoing it, he'd just color over it, he also messed up a bit on her right breast; he drew one too small and decided to make it bigger, by just adding another curved line.

At times, he would expand ''Sonichu'' stories in summary form on [[CWCipedia]], a medium better equipped to keep up with his racing and easily distracted imagination. Everything he says or writes, he considers to be a part of his comic's continuity partly because it is easier to record these euphoric and fleeting bouts of inspiration as they occur rather than days, weeks, months, or even years later in comic form.

=== Comic writing and structure ===
{{main|Chris and writing}}
Chris does no preparatory writing or preliminary revision; his narrative is wholly improvised and shifts regularly; he cannot write clear, succinct dialogue; and he has little regard for visual clarity.

=== Choices of materials and technology ===
[[File:Marker Section.jpg|thumb|Crayola is the official art supplier for the ''Sonichu'' franchise, whether they like it or not.]]
Chris believes that his so-called "hand-drawing style" is superior to art produced by any other means. This is due to Chris's hatred to change what he has already learned and his belief, as a consequence of his [[Chris and his ego|ego]], that his method is the best by virtue of being his.

Obviously, Chris's skill cannot compensate for the poor materials he uses. He does his work a disservice by using tools that are the cheapest available: copy paper, Pentel RSVP ballpoint pens and Crayola Magic Markers.<ref>[[Mumble 7#10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies|Mumble #7]]</ref> These happen to be the tools he has used since childhood.

Chris's artwork is far from archival quality, and in some instances shows [[Wedding Comic|signs of wrinkling]] as soon as it has been finished. Chris has defended his practice of [[Chris and writing#Dialogue|rampant textwalling]] as a way to "save marker ink."<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>

Chris appears to have some version of Photoshop at his disposal (as seen in the "Spider-Man-fucking [[Clyde]]" saga), but uses it sparingly outside of lettering and inserting photographs and other drawings in comics. Chris's font of choice is [[wikipedia:Comic Sans|Comic Sans]], a font that is almost universally condemned as overused and ugly.<ref>[http://bancomicsans.com Ban the Comic Sans]</ref><ref>[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07052007 They will make you taste the curb]</ref>

Chris believes that using new technology creatively provides an unfair advantage in the service of inferior results. Chris has consistently called ''Asperchu'' "blocky and low resolution" because it was drawn with a tablet. In one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|phone calls to Alec Benson Leary]], Chris said his hand drawn art had "more character" (never mind that tablet art is technically hand-drawn art anyway). He also thinks that his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|web page]] was awesome because it was made from "notepad scratch", i.e., built with Windows Notepad instead of complex WYSIWYG tools like FrontPage; Chris forgets that while a lot of professional web designers also write raw HTML with text editors, they generally also have some eye for aesthetics.

=== Drawing techniques ===
[[Image:CChanDraws.jpg|thumb|Strange pen grips can be corrected with the assistance of school teachers. Chris slept through these lessons.]]
Chris has never even learned to hold a pen correctly. Instead of holding the front of the pen with the thumb and forefinger, he draws with his index finger sticking out and bent around the pen. Give this a try and see how long it takes for your hand to cramp up.

While most artists will produce multiple sketch versions of a single drawing, often layered on top of one another, Chris's confidence in his innate artistic ability is such that his first step in a page of ''Sonichu'' is drawing the final lineart in pen before coloring it in with Crayola markers. If he makes a mistake, he goes "Oh well!" and continues{{cite}}. There is no post-processing beyond adding text to word balloons with MS Paint. Attempts to inform him that digital coloring is more efficient and far less expensive than wasting gallons of marker ink filling in monocolor backgrounds have failed{{cite}}.

=== Visual style and anatomy ===
[[Image:099-CWCsCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Nice arms you got there, Chris.]]
{{Quote|sonichu had kind of a kiddy art style, which i guess was your point. [...] i thought you meant it as an avant-garde thing, to make a statment like, ironically bad|[[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref>}}
Before the comics, Chris attempted realism for work in oil pastel, charcoal, and graphite, presumably for art classes in school. The results can be seen in the gallery below.

Chris started out with a cartoony style for the comic book, full of techniques consistent with early efforts at drawing by small children. Things changed as Chris got into [[anime]] and manga, and sought to emulate them to impress his [[gal-pal]] at the time, [[Megan Schroeder]]. Like many amateur western artists, he copies only the surface elements of the anime style: big eyes, pentagonal heads, speed lines. These art elements were simply laid over his original "style" with no adjustment.

Chris makes no attempt to maintain consistency in character designs, and has no understanding of classical anatomy and proportion in figure drawing. His characters are drawn using simple shapes - colored-in outlines without ''any'' shading - and even so, he is unable to keep the shapes consistent to any degree. For example, in the opening of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|the children]] tend to noticeably get deformed in different manner in each panel, despite the fact that they're drawn as just an oval for the head, a rectangle for the body, and smaller ovals for the arms and legs. In all characters, limbs morph, heads change size, and faces become unrecognizable; it's only by color scheme that we can guess which character is which. Beyond his differently-colored eyes and Sonichu medallion, no two Chrises have ever looked alike, or even remotely resembled the actual Chris. The character sizes are also inconsistent, which is strange considering most of the characters appear to be about the same size: in most drawings where Sonichu is carrying Rosechu, Rosechu seems to shrink. Finer details of human anatomy have long escaped him; because Chris never draws women with pronounced hips, the results tend to resemble children or men (such as with the character [[Lovely Weather]]), with unfortunate implications in either case.

[[Image:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|thumb|This car will either always veer left or never run at all.]]

Despite boasting that his "drawings of perspective viewpoints are surpassive[sic]"<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref> due to his training in [[CADD]], Chris constantly fails at perspective, with objects implied to be far-away depicted too large. This is evident in his many [[Son-Chu|vehicle designs]], where the front is usually a direct frontal (90 degree) view, regardless of the view angle of other sides. This inability to demonstrate parallel lines renders the car distorted. The lack of any concept of shading only further destroys any semblance of perspective; legs that are implied to be bent forward at the knee only end up looking shorter.

Possibly the worst offender is Chris's constant omission of backgrounds. Most scenes happen only on the white backdrop of the paper. Apparently, readers are supposed to infer what the background looks like based on context. Thus, simply drawing a wide-angle shot of the scenery as the first (usually transitional) panel in a scene would suffice. Combined with his inability to make a proper layout, many action scenes end up becoming a jumble of characters moving around without regards to sequence. The reason he does this is probably the same as the reason why he textwalls so often: to "save marker ink," meaning he's lazy. (Incidentally, the proper use of white space and the conservation of painted space is a key element in East Asian art, but despite his anime obsession he is unlikely to have heard of this.)

A related phenomenon is simply drawing characters as floating disembodied heads. The [[Magi-chan|deus ex machina/exposition machine]] is the biggest victim of this. Once again, Chris could not be arsed to draw a full body. Thus, combining all known forms of "marker ink conservation", some pages are just a bunch of floating heads speaking walls of text.

Chris owns at least one book about drawing manga, as seen in [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]. The book in itself covers everything to do with portraying couples, including images of couples in bed making love. Whether Chris bought it to better draw out his delusional fantasies or for more material to gawk at during mass debating isn't known. Either way, the book has taught him nothing.

=== Character design ===
::''See also [[Chris and Writing#Characterization|Characterization]]''

A large portion of ''Sonichu'''s cast is clearly derivative of existing characters. In addition to the obvious ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' recolors, Chris has lifted designs from any anime, video game, or even Western animation he is fond of, with no regard for visual consistency.

Beyond that, he doesn't even bother trying to design better clothing for his characters. Most of them wear stereotypical "basic" clothing and Chris himself wears his usual clown shirts and pants. With the sole exception of [[Meg-chan]], every female that shows up in his comics wears high-heeled dress shoes.

Even when the source of Chris's plagiarism is readily apparent, these lifts can still add up to less than the sum of their parts. Inspired by the fusion characters of ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' and ''[[God of War]]'', [[Collosal Chan]] looks more like a hobo than a fusion of Chris and Chris-Chan Sonichu. Though clearly his own effort to design baby [[Pokémon]], [[Sonee and Rosey]] look more unnerving than adorable.

While the designs themselves are admitted shitty, Chris does get color coordination. Most of the color schemes he uses for his characters look decent. Being Chris, he still [[fail]]s occasionally, like, on an unrelated note, the [[CWCipedia]] color scheme. Still, it's one of his few strong points, at least compared to the rest of his art style.

===Fan (dis)service===
[[File:SchuComic9Page32-E.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Insta-boner.]]

[[wikipedia:Fan service|Fan service]] is a term used to describe something that is meant to tease or please the audience. It can refer to any content seen as an effort to appease the desires of fans, but is used primarily, and in this section, to describe scenes of a sexually titillating nature.

Since his discovery by the Internet, Chris has inserted increasingly large amounts of fan service into the initially tame Sonichu in an effort to assert the heterosexuality of himself and his characters. The range of fan service in ''Sonichu'' includes panty shots, Rosechu's [[women's rights|stripping]], cameltoe indentations, and even a full [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17|sex scene]] followed by four pages of text and diagrams describing Sonichu and Rosechu's sexual anatomy.

Due to his lack of artistic faculties, much of Chris's depictions of sexuality are highly unsettling to most readers. Any attempts to add "sexy" material come across as Chris's own wish-fulfillment, rather than attempts by Chris to please his audience.

While the point of fan service is to hint at sexuality in an otherwise clean work meant for general audiences, ''Sonichu'''s sexual content hides nothing and disturbs many, despite the fact that Chris has always viewed ''Sonichu'' as a comic intended for children.

==Animation==
Most recently, Chris has taken up a new medium in the form of animation. Using the Nintendo DSi program ''Flipnote Studios'', Chris has taken his drawing to a whole new level. Or at least could have. His drawing has degraded greatly when doing artwork here, mostly due to using the DS's stylus pen. When doing animations, his characters have very little fluid movement to them and they seem to jerk and wobble, as if they're characters from ''Ed, Edd, & Eddy'' or ''Home Movies''. The best one to tell of this is the [[Don'tGetTrolled!]] animation. You can tell which part was animated by Chris and which part was animated by the original author, 8-Bit, because Chris's artwork just wobbles in a distorted fashion.

== Chris and the industry ==
{{main|Chris and the industry}}
In ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'' and [[Chris's resume]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his art is of professional quality, and expects to enter the comic and video game industries. His résumé states a desire to produce ''Sonichu'' comics under contract for Marvel Entertainment or Archie Comics. By all indications, this is an idle wish as Chris expects to be approached by these companies first. Chris has consistently shown little comprehension of, or interest in learning about, how the creative industries actually work.

==Originality==
He has [[Things Chris has ripped off|none]]. Let's leave it at that.

==Plagiarism==
: ''See also: [[Chris and copyright]]''

''Sonichu'' is a fine blend of a wide variety of recognizable copyrighted elements. Just about any existing medium that Chris has ever expressed a fondness for appears in some capacity.

Chris has a long history of claiming all credit for fan characters initially acknowledged as being created by others and offered for use in Chris's comics. The first of these were [[Megagi]], [[Jiggliami]], and [[Layla]], but the most infamous instance, and the one that Chris defended the most fervently, was [[Simonla Rosechu]].

At the same time, Chris once had a policy of threatening nonexistent legal action against the creators of any ''Sonichu'' fan art he could find, and was worked into a [[12 January 2010|magnificent rage]] over the ''Sonichu''-derivative fan work ''[[Asperchu]]''.

As well, Chris has gone so far as to take [[Don'tGetTrolled!|a video]] and alter it to suit his needs. Now, granted, there were other videos done using that same video, but where they just altered the stick character or sped up the video in the same vein as a YouTube Poop, Chris completely and utterly altered the video to suit his needs so that a humorous video over [[trolling]] is turned into Chris's mouthpiece to destroy Freedom of Speech to make the Internet safer for him.

===Tracing===
'''Tracing''' is an art technique where another piece of art, in whole or part, is copied along its outlines. As a means of producing original art claimed as one's own, tracing is a form of plagiarism.

Images traced from existing copyrighted content appear regularly in ''Sonichu''. Chris traces with the "Reflecta Sketch", a since-discontinued toy tracing kit produced by Spin Master. The kit comes with a reflective piece of plastic where an original can be placed to the left and the reflection is used for tracing an outline. This is why most traced images in ''Sonichu'' are mirror images of the original work. Due to their poor quality, consistent in appearance with ''Sonichu'' art that is not traced, these traced images often go unnoticed as tracing. The fact that Chris [[fail]]s even at tracing is a surprise to no one.

Alternatively, Chris uses these images as references and simply tries to draw images free-hand based on them. This is no worse than directly tracing the outlines, but better explains why his results are so distorted in respect to their references. Chris probably uses a combination of both techniques (as some images look closer to their originals than others), showing utter lack of skill and originality either way.

===Traced images from the ''Sonichu'' Comic===
<center><gallery>
Image:Trace1.jpg
Image:Trace2.jpg
Image:Trace3.jpg
Image:Trace4.jpg
Image:Trace5.jpg
Image:Trace6.jpg
Image:Aquateenvssonichu.jpg
Image:SAV-Swindle.jpg
Image:RClina.jpg
Image:PunislavBarrier.jpg
Image:Bumble-Lumba-Bumblebee.jpg
Image:Prowl prower.jpg
Image:SOUNDAXE.JPG
Image:CrackderISthundercracker.jpg
Image:Familyguytrace.png
Image:Cwct1.JPG
File:Rosey caesar.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Rule 34==
[[Image:Chris and Rule 34.jpg|thumb|Chris's creations believe that his [[Rule 34]] artwork is "lifelike".]]
Chris has no shame, and neither does his artwork. Of his many sexually explicit drawings, the most damning one of all is [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]], which brought an end to the Megan Saga and cemented the notion that Chris was an incestuous [[pedofork]].

As seen in this gallery, Chris can't even copy bad porn to save his life, with Rosechu turning into a deformed monstrosity in each panel, all for the sake of [[Chris and sex|sex]]. Especially noticeable is the final picture, which shows off a recurring trend in his pictures: the "Glowing Cunt", in which Chris draws the "[[cum]]" from the woman ''around'' and ''outside'' the vagina instead of from the inside, making it appear to glow.

It can be reasonably assumed that all of the images in this gallery are traced, and that those not paired plagiarized source material simply have yet to have their "inspirations" discovered.

=== Gallery of traced Rule 34 pictures ===
{{collapsible
|Incredibly horrific and NSFW, this is your last chance to escape with your sanity.
|<gallery>
Image:Chris-chan Traced.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 2.JPG
Image:chrischantraced3.jpg
Image:Chris-chan Traced 4.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 5.JPG
</gallery>}}

==Art gallery==
Seen below is a selection of Chris's public school art assignments, from a slideshow on Chris's homemade [[DVD]]. At his high school graduation, Chris expected to be "Highly Recognized" for his "ARTISTIC TALENT", represented in this body of work. When he was not, he cried.<ref>[[Manchester High School#Graduation]]</ref> This work was produced under the supervision of a professional art instructor and the incentive for Chris to give each piece more thought, care and attention than he now prefers to when creating only for his own satisfaction. Despite this, they're still terrible. Note that some readers may find several of these images inadvertently terrifying.

{{collapsible
|Gallery of Chris's Art
|<gallery>
Image:441-CubScoutShield.JPG|Defending the honor of [[Chris and health|junk food everywhere!]]
Image:442-HedgehogShark1.JPG|Sculpted in such a way that it looks like a [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|toilet]] at first blush.
Image:443-HedgehogShark2.JPG|
Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|Fox McCloud one month after crash-landing in the middle of Africa.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|The result of Rosechu's late-term abortion.
Image:446-CWCWeave.JPG|The teacher quickly thought up something to keep Chris occupied for the rest of the lesson.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Coming soon from Franklin Mint...
Image:448-CWCWigwam.JPG|Ancient relic of the [[Cherokian Clan]].
Image:449-CWCDreamCatcher.JPG|It doesn't catch dreams. It ''stares into your soul''.
Image:450-HedgehogFish1.JPG|Sad to say, it was originally Chris who came up with the "Long fish is loooooo
Image:451-HedgehogFish2.JPG|oooooooooooong" meme.
Image:452-CWCsBunchOfArt.jpg|Scan of a print of a photograph of drawings. How very meta!
Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|[[Autism]] is in Living Room. Autism is in Wife. Autism is in Children and - well - Autism is in Life.
Image:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG|A rare shot of Chris's largely forgotten Pokémons, Espanolic and Vegaton.
Image:459-CWCsBanjo.JPG|Banjo, the champion of Christianity and bright colors.
Image:460-CWCsComputerGraphicsPoster.JPG|In the first lesson, the computer graphics teachers usually say something like "Don't go crazy with the effects, m'kay?" Chris never listens.
Image:463-SonicAndTailsBunch.jpg|A Magic Eye picture that reveals absolutely nothing. We tried.
Image:464-CWCSpeckle.jpg|The teacher who traumatized Chris wasn't actually the principal - it was the art teacher, who forced Chris to make a drawing with prickly-wicklies.
Image:465-CWCsStarCoilPot.JPG|Chris's masterpiece of originality, second only to the creation of Sonichu<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>: an ash tray that shoots tobacco straight to the Sun - powered by dark magic.
Image:466-CWCNecklace.jpg|Some [[Cherokian Clan|Ancient Cherokian]] [[Sex toys|anal beads]].
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|It's... off-center.
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Sonic [[Yawning Squirtle|unfocuses]].
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's shield was eaten.
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Following in Ed Gein's footsteps.
Image:472-CWCWingCapDish.JPG|We don't know ''what'' this is, but it has the letter C, so it's obviously Chris's.
Image:473-YarnPot.JPG
Image:474-SquarePot.JPG
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|A relaxing person who bears little resemblance to Chris.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|The same. Hilariously enough, [http://www.miketyndall.com/todd_goldman/ Todd Goldman] ripped off the "[[White knight#Chris will reject your advice|I just don't listen]]" things on the background. Everything is interconnected! [[Soul Calibur|Tracing and ignorance, fiercely entangled!]]
Image:477-PastelDuoPic.JPG
Image:478-PastelHorses.JPG|[[My Little Pony|Proto-Cheroki-Chan.]]
Image:479-PastelSunset.JPG|[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|A big golden turd.]]
Image:482-SwirlingEspanolics.JPG
Image:483-RainbowLeaf.JPG|Oh my GAWD! What does this ''mean''?
Image:484-MergingPeople.JPG|Art class pictures usually have some sort of central idea the teacher gave to the students. Chris is unable to communicate it to us.
Image:485-CWCsF.JPG|It's a passable drawing, so it's possible Chris didn't fail the class. But if it is a drawing of failure, did he also create his first time paradox here?
Image:486-CWCcatchesaPikachu.JPG|Chris approaches a wild Pikachu, aiming to bash its brains out with a rare pygmy Electrode.
Image:487-CWCMergedinArt.jpg|A clever idea. Probably his teacher's, though.
Image:488-100_0521.JPG|Something that looks like the shopping mall, but actually isn't.
Image:489-100_0522.JPG|"I wish I were in [[Inos|Jamacia]]" (sic). Deep-rooted wishes, I see.
Image:490-100_0523.JPG|Colorful arboreal antics.
Image:491-100 0524.JPG|Possibly "L" and "O". Could be a corruption of LOL.
Image:492-100 0525.JPG|Raichu, the Turbo Megazord, Sonic, Game Boy and Nintendo 64 controller.
Image:493-100 0526.JPG|See, he ''can'' draw a proportional drinking straw. [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] was ''deliberate''.
Image:494-100 0527.JPG|Indistinct shapes, possibly [[Crass and Champ|crabs]].
Image:495-100 0528.JPG|A collage of weird local imagery.
Image:496-100 0529.JPG|Daffodils, which, in Greek mythology, first came forth as a result of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]]. Also: Skeleton.
Image:497-100 0530.JPG|[[Christian's name change|The Bear]] keeps on truckin'.
Image:498-100 0531.JPG|[[fapcup|Jars]]. A proudly standing bottle and a tomato, casting nice round shadows.
Image:499-100 0532.JPG|Mysterious floating keyring.
Image:500-100 0533.JPG|Not sure what ''this'' is, but it looks a bit phallic.
Image:501-100 0534.JPG|Chris's Ash Ketchum get-up.
Image:503-100 0537.JPG|Pikachu, Mew, what looks like Chris's personal Pokégear stuff, and an ad for [[CWC's Pokésite 2]].
Image:504-100 0538.JPG|[[April 16 Fetish Vids|Shower]]???
Image:505-100 0539.JPG|A drawer full of what appears to be [[CWCFlyingElephants|socks]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].
Image:506-100 0540.JPG|[[R.L. Stine]] books and Pokémon.
</gallery>}}

==Costume Design==
Continuing his trend of using the cheapest materials possible while incorporating only the vaguest of likenesses, Chris's foray in cosplay is par for the course with his hand-drawings. They're poorly made, not thought out, and Chris likely believes they're professional quality.

For examples, see ''[[Chris and cosplaying|Chris and Cosplaying]]''.

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Sonichu}}

Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!

2012-02-11T06:17:07Z

ReiDemon: /* Background */

[[Image:CWCHedgehogBoysCOMEBACKfront.jpg|thumb|right|A [[stress|long-awaited]] comeback album! Yay! …wait a minute, this is only the ''second'' album?]]

'''''Christian & the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!''''' is the second album by [[Christian & the Hedgehog Boys]], [[Christian's]] nonexistent fan band, because talking over [[music]], [[Chris and Ego|changing existing lyrics so they're all about you]], and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' is EXACTLY like being in a real band.

==Background==
After a four-year hiatus and buoyed by his new "relationship" with "[[Ivy]]", Christian & the Hedgehog Boys reunited to produce another album, and subject the world to yet more of Chris mumbling over various songs. His tastes appear to have expanded slightly: the first album consisted entirely of pop music, but ''COMEBACK!'' branches out into genres such as rap and rock.

Notable also is the replacement of [[Wild Sonichu]] for [[Sonic]] on bass and [[Punchy Sonichu]] for [[Shadow]] on drums. While a newfag would think that Chris forgot that they were in the band, a true C&HB fan knows that Sonic left the band due to artistic differences, and is now pursuing a solo country music career, while [[Shadow]] died of a cocaine overdose. Also depicted is [[Layla Flaaffy]]; it was later revealed in the [[Ivy Q&A]] that Chris intended her to be the band's stage manager.

This is notable as [[Wild]]'s first musical appearance where he departs from his Sit 'n Spin background.

==Tracks==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!
! Title
! Based on
!Subject
|-
| 1
| [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]"
| [[Wikipedia:Coolio|Coolio]] — "[[Wikipedia:Gangsta's Paradise|Gangsta's Paradise]]"
| [[Clyde Cash]]
|-
| 2
| "[[CWC Like a Virgin]]"
| [[Wikipedia:Madonna (entertainer)|Madonna]] — "[[Wikipedia:Like a Virgin (song)|Like a Virgin]]"
| [[Ivy]], [[Virgin with rage]]
|-
| 3
| "[[Feel Our Love At Play]]"
| [[Wikipedia:Berlin|Berlin]] — "[[Wikipedia:Take My Breath Away|Take My Breath Away]]"
| Ivy, [[Love Quest]]
|-
| 4
| "[[I Gotta Make My Move]]"
| [[Wikipedia:Rod Stewart|Rod Stewart]] — "[[Wikipedia:Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?|Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?]]"
| [[Hanky-panky]]
|-
| 5
| "[[I'll Never Leave You, Ivy]]"
| [[Wikipedia:Kate Bush|Kate Bush]] — "[[Wikipedia:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]"
| Ivy
|-
| 6
| "[[Lovin' You]]"
| [[Wikipedia:Minnie Riperton|Minnie Riperton]] — "[[Wikipedia:Lovin' You|Lovin' You]]"
| Ivy
|-
| 7
| "[[Paradise By The Seashore Light (Crass and Champ's Thang Undersea)]]"
| [[Wikipedia:Meat Loaf|Meat Loaf]] — "[[Wikipedia:Paradise by the Dashboard Light|Paradise by the Dashboard Light]]"
| [[Crass and Champ]]
|-
| 8
| "[[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark]]"
| [[Wikipedia:Bruce Springsteen|Bruce Springsteen]] — "[[Wikipedia:Dancing in the Dark (Bruce Springsteen song)|Dancing in the Dark]]"
| [[Punchy Sonichu]], [[Layla Flaaffy]]
|-
| 9
| "[[I'm Sexy For My Ivy]]"
| [[Wikipedia:Justin Timberlake|Justin Timberlake]] — "[[Wikipedia:SexyBack|SexyBack]]"
| Ivy, [[Biological clock]]
|}

==Reception==
While critics applauded [[Chris]] for upgrading the quality of the [[music]] he shouts over from shithouse to slightly less shithouse, the album was an absolute bust, even in [[Molvanîa]] where Chris is lauded as a national pop icon.

Fans of [[Wild Sonichu]]'s mastery of the Sit 'n Spin were disappointed to hear Wild being forced to play the inferior [[guitar]], which may have affected the quality of his musical contributions. Fans also claimed that [[Punchy Sonichu]] could not live up to the legacy of Shadow the Hedgehog.

==ORIGINAL LYRICS==
'''DO NOT STEAL'''
<gallery>
Image:TrollstasParadise1.jpg|"Trollsta's Paradise"
Image:TrollstasParadise2.jpg
Image:FeelOurLoveAtPlay.jpg|"Feel Our Love At Play"
Image:IGottaMakeMyMove1.jpg|"I Gotta Make My Move"
Image:IGottaMakeMyMove2.jpg
Image:IllNeverLeaveYouIvy.jpg|"I'll Never Leave You, Ivy"
Image:PunchyandLaylasDanceInTheDark.jpg|"Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark"
Image:SexyForMyIvy1.jpg|"I'm Sexy For My Ivy"
Image:SexyForMyIvy2.jpg
</gallery>
== Fan videos ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Pretty Homo (For A Retard)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|JON8Q53BKwA}}
| Stardate = 31 [[July 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/CWCLovesPickles CWCLovesPickles]
| Video Type = Remix
| Other Info = TRUE and HONEST unreleased bonus track!!! Original [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLkIB5l-OlM here].
}}
==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QRPCIV36 Download the album]
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]

Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes

2012-02-11T06:04:17Z

ReiDemon: Flows better, IMO.

The '''Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes''' was a contest held in [[1990s#1993|1993]] to promote the first [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoon, the syndicated ''[[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog]]''.

The contest's grand prize — a $1,000 [[wikipedia:KB_Toys|Kay-Bee Toys]] shopping spree — was awarded to two lucky winners, one of whom happened to be [[Chris]]; the other winner of the contest was a six year old girl from California, who decided to split her prize money with her classmates instead. This seminal event marks both the high point of Chris's life and the first hint of his future decline into the manchild we know and troll today. The segment below was from [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] NBC affiliate [[Wikipedia:WVIR|WVIR]].

The video shows several revealing things, namely that Chris's verbal skills and fashion sense have not improved since he was twelve. In fact, the only thing that has visibly changed is his sense of entitlement.

Ever since winning the Sweepstakes, Chris has entered several other contests, expecting to win through the sheer power of his [[autism]].

Of the games Chris bought, only 3 are known:
*''Batman Returns''
*''[[Sonic]] Spinball''
*"Star Trek" (probably ''Star Trek: The Next Generation: Echoes from the Past'')

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yGlFUf9ZEcM}}
| stardate = 26 [[1990s#1994|February 1994]]
| maker = NBC's WVVIR
| subject = {{Television|text}} {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RainbowBoy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Leaked]]}}
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Song of Christian#Part 1|Song of Christian]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

'''Anchorwoman:''' Well, we've got a little more for ya, including what Sonic the Hedgehog means to a very special [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] boy. And the significance goes ''way'' beyond the [[List of Chris's lies|high score]] and [[List of videos|videos]].

[''One clip cuts out and another begins.'']

'''Anchorwoman:''' Finally, tonight, Sonic the Hedgehog is running [[Wild Sonichu|''wildly'']] in [[Chris's_homes#Cloverleaf_Lakes_Apartments|the Chandler household]] this weekend. Twelve-year-old Christian Chandler of Charlottesville was the winner in [[monthly tugboat|a video game shopping spree]]. Christian is one of only about a hundred winners nationally to receive [[Chris and money|''$1,000'']] worth of Sega games and equipment. For his parents, it’s just another example of how well he's doing. Christian is a high-functioning autistic child. This past fall, [[stress|of his own initiative]], he entered a contest based on a favorite cartoon character.

'''Chris:''' It had to do was exactly...watch ''Sonic the Hedgehog''...uh, ''cartoon''...an—and [[speech impediment|risten]] to what Sonic says at the ''end'' of it…and writed it down for [[Time Void|a whole week]]. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

'''Anchorwoman:''' And [[Bob Chandler|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''

'''Co-anchor:''' Unbelievable...

'''Anchorwoman:''' I can't master any of ’em! That's it for ''now'', and it’s just...comin’ up on the NBA basketball game at 5:30. It’s not 6:30; it’s 5:30. We'll see you back here at 11:00. Thanks for watching.

'''Co-anchor:''' Good night.

'''[[Niggos|Black]] Anchorman:''' Buh-bye.

[''One clip cuts out and another begins.'']

'''Anchorwoman:''' —winners nationally to receive ''$1,000'' worth of Sega video games and equipment. Christian ''is'' autistic, but he's entering the contest completely of his own accord was a sign to his parents of how well he is getting along.

'''Chris:''' It had to do was exactly...watch ''Sonic the Hedgehog''...uh, ''cartoon''...an—and [[speech impediment|risten]] to what Sonic says at the ''end'' of it…and writed it down for [[Time Void|a whole week]]. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

'''Anchorwoman:''' And [[Bob|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for the boy to master one of the electronic games before he moves onto another one.

==See also==
* [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]
* [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]

== External Links ==

* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMyI6ZnLj3o&feature=player_embedded Commercial for the contest]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=n/a|nextlink=[[Song of Christian]]|}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 1994-02-26]]

Chris and religion

2012-01-24T04:27:48Z

ReiDemon: /* Failure Of All Seven Heavenly Virtues */Order, some additional text.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1 Cor 13:11,<ref>[http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm]</ref> on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris not understanding how professional help works<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>}}
[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion; like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''yet'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[sex]], [[Anger|hatred]], [[Race|intolerance]], [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[Julie|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[Lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naive|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was; under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. Also, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with.

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[File:Cwcandf.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's supposed relationship with God]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]], also in this pic, BLASPHEMY!]]
[[Image:Issue 0A Page 8 edit.JPG|thumb|left|[[Asperchu/Background|Radar]] sums it up nicely]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of [[wikipedia:Binitarianism|Binity]], unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" or expressions in one Being.

Being the unparalleled study in [[ego]]tism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris [[fail]]s at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Mohammad Reza Pahlavi|Shah of Iran]], Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Daughter|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It's strange that despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris,<ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Guilty of all Seven Deadly Sins===
The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is a conception of the Catholics founded through doctrine Pope Gregory I established through a revised list of monk Evagrius Ponticus' list of the eight terrible temptations. Catholics, who will mostly tell you that ''any'' sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God. Seeing as this is Catholic doctrine, Protestants do not typically share this belief. Given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much. 

*'''Lust''': His [[Love Quest]]. Between all the purchases of [[sex toys]] and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought, it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing). In fact, he's now on a [[Fuck Quest]]. (See also [[Chris and Sex]]).
*'''Gluttony''': It is not quite known if Chris's [[obesity|girth]] is [[Barbara|hereditary]] or the result of [[McDonalds|over consumption]], but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
*'''Avarice/Greed''': Chris's obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. putting [[Cole Smithey|his brother's]] questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain. Also, he steals from his parents to buy [[PS3|video games he'll never play]]. (See also [[Chris and Money]]). He's even gone so far as to [[The MovingForward videos|destroy his PS3]] in an attempt to gain money.
*'''Sloth''': Obvious; see ''Gluttony''. Content to be the proud recipient of a "[[monthly tugboat]]" while sitting on his ass playing video games and surfing the [[Internet]], Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year. He believes doing routine household [[chores]] is [[stress|"stressful"]] and an equivalent to holding a real job.
*'''Anger/Wrath''': [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[Jerkops]]. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]. "[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]". [[Chris and anger|Yeah...]]
*'''Envy''': [[Jerks|His attitude towards other men]] as having taken [[Virgin with rage|"ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!"]] is a lot more envy than ''anyone'', let alone Christians, should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]. Frankly, Adam deserved to win, but Chris cannot accept that someone else has something (talent) which he does not.
*'''Pride''': Chris's [[Autism|self-centered worldview]] and inability to note his own flaws. Narcissus himself would look down on him for his selfishness. This is partly due to incessant coddling and sheltering from his parents his whole life, while being told that he is perfect in every way, because having autism makes him special. Chris has been told his entire life that the fact that he has autism means that he should have everything handed to him on a silver platter. (See also [[Chris and his Ego]])

===Failure Of All Seven Heavenly Virtues===
In Christianity, where there is sin, there is redemption. In Christianity there are four Cardinal virtues, which were initially derived from Plato's Scheme from Protagoras and were adapted by Saint Ambrose, Augustine of Hippo, and Thomas Aquinas. In the early Church there were also three theological virtues. In Catholicism these virtues were combined to make '''The Seven Heavenly Virtues'''. These are acts of redemption and righteousness that combat the seven deadly sins. Chris fails at all of them.

*'''Chastity''' '''-''The virtue against Lust''-''': Chris lives accordingly with this virtue, to an extent. As a [[Virgin with rage]] Chris may always live in chastity in the sexual way. But chastity is more than just sex, it's cleanliness through cultivated good [[Chris and health|health and hygiene]], and maintained by refraining from [[alcohol|intoxicants]]. Chastity is embracing of moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of thought-through education and betterment. Part of chastity is to be honest with oneself, one's family, one's friends, and to all of humanity. Chastity is the ability to refrain from being distracted and influenced by hostility, temptation or corruption. Chris, however, lives in filth all day, everyday, eats [[McDonalds|unhealthy food]], and started drinking not too long ago. Chris [[lies|lies All The Fucking Time]]. Chris hasn't tried to better himself since he graduated from college, despite the efforts of [[trolls]], [[white knights]], and [[jerkop|authority]] [[Manajerk|figures]]. Chris loses his anger frequently, masturbates constantly, and spends taxpayer money like it's going out of style.
*'''Temperance''' '''-''The virtue against Gluttony''-''': Temperance to put it simply is restraint, moderation, and taking action at the appropriate time. Chris has no restraint when it comes to his social security. He buys whatever he can afford the instance he sees and wants it whether he needs it or not, almost always the latter. Chris has spent money he doesn't have via his credit cards or his parent’s credit cards.
*'''Charity''' '''-''The virtue against greed''-''': Charity is generosity, charity, and, self-sacrifice. The closest Chris has come to generosity is paying for ebay and other shit for [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], and not out of being generous, but to either buy her forgiveness, or in attempts to have sex with her. Whether he gives to charity is unknown, but usually you have to have sympathy for others or want to help others, Chris always wants to ''receive'' sympathy and help. Chris hardly sacrifices anything. Chris only sacrifices if he has something to gain, not for the sake of others or to be pious. He sacrificed a few games out of his hundreds for money, and [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3 in hopes of being paid over $9,000.]] Even when sacrificing a little would better him he is extremely [[Chris and negotiation|stubborn]].
*'''Diligence''' '''-''The virtue against Sloth''-''': Diligence is strong work ethic, determination, holding true to your beliefs, and courage. Chris has no work ethic, At All. He only works when he's "inspired", and then at most its only for an hour. Chris is determined in the sense he hasn't given up on Sonichu after all the harassing, but determination also means finishing what you started. Saying ''''"I'M WORKING ON IT!"''' and doing nothing, or quitting for months at a time isn't determination. Chris started [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] in [[August 2009]], skipped finishing it, and started [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]] in [[February 2010]]. Chris does hold true in his beliefs, but will flip flop between hating [[homos]] every once in a while. When it comes to courage, well, Chris is a pussy. He always hides behind his parents when it comes to the law, [[List of places that have banned Chris|bans]], and [[Kacey and Liquid Call|uncomfortable phone conversations.]] The one time Chris almost got into a physical fight as an adult was with a large black man named [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris.27s_Attitude_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|TJ]], in which he quickly re-worded what he said, sank back down in his seat, and stopped making eye contact. When Chris was threatened over the Internet, he hid under stuffed animals on his couch for a day.<ref>[[Death_threats#Chris_as_recipient]]</ref> Yet, Chris [[death threats|threatens people constantly]], sometimes even wishing death upon them.
*'''Patience''' '''-''The virtue against Wrath''-''': Patience is forbearance and endurance through moderation, resolving conflicts and injustice peacefully, as opposed to resorting to violence, and giving the grace of forgiveness and mercy. Chris is none of this. He doesn't wait for sales, he buys what he wants, when he wants, whether he has money or not. Chris will try to resolve conflicts peacefully, at first, but quickly starts threatening if his demands aren't met. When it comes to forgiveness, the closest he ever came was three forgiveness blessings, some of which he took back. He's said he forgives [[Mary Lee Walsh]], but still holds a grudge in his [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|Autism Tutorial]]. He forgives [[Michael Snyder]], then says he [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|hopes he dies a fire with the The GAMe PLACe.]] Chris is extremely unmerciful. He tortured and killed [[Clyde Cash]], [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Evan]], [[Mao#Asperpedia|Mao]], and [[Alec Benson Leary]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].
*'''Kindness''' '''-''The virtue against Envy''-''': Kindness is charity, compassion and friendship for its own sake. Empathy and trust without prejudice or resentment. Unselfish love and voluntary kindness without bias or spite. Once again Chris doesn't meet nearly any of this. Chris has compassion for no one. When his [[Aunt Corrina]] died, Chris seemed more upset that he missed out on stuffing his fat fucking face at a pancake breakfast for her funeral. Chris has no male friends at all, for he thinks all men are [[jerks]]. All his [[gal-pals]] are potential women Chris wants to have sex with; this is not friendship for its own sake. Chris doesn't trust men because of prejudice and resentment. Chris is nothing but selfish, and is only kind to get [[china]] or something he wants.
*'''Humility''' '''-''The virtue against Pride''-''': Humility is modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. It is a spirit of self-examination; a hermeneutic of suspicion toward yourself and charity toward people you disagree with. The courage of the heart necessary to undertake tasks which are difficult, tedious or unglamorous, and to graciously accept the sacrifices involved. Reverence for those who have wisdom and those who selflessly teach in love. Giving credit where credit is due; not unfairly glorifying one's own self. Being faithful to promises, no matter how big or small they may be. Refraining from despair and the ability to confront fear and uncertainty, or intimidation.
This may be a long definition, but this is needed for emphasis. Chris fails harder at humility than any other virtue. He is not humble in any way, shape, or form. Chris is not modest at all, be it his body, his achievements, or his personal information. He is pretentious, narcissistic, and his [[Chris and his ego|ego]] is out of control. Chris is selfish; he spends taxpayer money and his parents money on himself, and when someone wants something from him he finds some idiotic way out of it. He wants everything for nothing. Chris only respects himself, his father (sometimes), and world leaders. He has no respect for authority because it inconveniences him, and men because he has to compete against them for china, and they may [[Homos#Fear_of_being_a_homo|cause him to fall off the straight path.]] Chris only thinks of himself, and highly at that. Chris is dishonest when he self-examines himself. He refuses to believe he's anything more than chubby, when by basic BMI standards he's obese. Chris won't do anything that he finds difficult, even if it is easy for functioning members of society. [[Chris and Art|He thinks his art is extraordinary and can't be improved.]] He believes he's not [[naïve]], though he's extremely inexperienced. Chris shuts his mind and insults anyone who disagrees with him. Chris disregards the advice of experienced professionals a lot. Chris criticizes people better than him, and art that is substantially better than his, claiming he and his work is better. Chris breaks promises and commitments constantly, by either half-assing it, feigning ignorance, lying about fulfilling his obligation, or lying about the agreeing to do so to begin with. And finally Chris falls into [[stress]] and despair when he doesn't win, and avoids confrontation at all costs.

===Breaking all Ten Commandments===

The Ten Commandments are the foundation of all the Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam). Chris isn't a strict follower of these either.

# '''"Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
# '''"Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the [[Medallions of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
# '''"Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says "goddamn" a lot too.
# '''"Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
# '''"Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] [[Bob walks in|that]] [[Tomgirl|upset]] his father.
# '''"Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies... and then repenting to GodJesus in the same breath. Alternatively, considering the revelation that he believes cartoon characters really exist, his actions in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] where he collapses a building full of people, killing at least a hundred people for relatively minor slights gives him the biggest body count of the series.
# '''"Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]].
# '''"Thou shalt not steal"''': If [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and he even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]] However, some scholars argue that this commandment actually means ''Thou shalt not kidnap'', which Chris hasn't done... yet. Watch your back, ladies.
# '''"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator. This was especially prevalent within the [[Alec Benson Leary]] saga.
# '''"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]], which would be a bit redundant considering #7.

===Breaking the Levitical Laws===

The Levitical laws were written for Hebrews, as a covenant with God. They are a priestly code of social behavior, with the agreement that if the laws are followed, the Hebrews would be given the Promised Land. Despite the fact that these laws were made for a culture thousands of years ago, and only followed by strict observers of [[Wikipedia:Halakha|Halakha]], Chris seems to have no problem applying these laws to modern times and modern people. Well, [[Chris and hypocrisy|sometimes]].

In [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]], Chris touts one of the most used and abused Bible verses, Leviticus 18:22, as evidence that [[homos]]exuality is "just plain wrong". Unknown to Chris, this is a part of the old Levitical code, which has many, many other commandments. Chris breaks Levitical Law on a near daily basis.

There are many, many laws, and Chris breaks too many of them for them to all be listed here. Some prime examples include:

*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11]''' This whole chapter deals with was sort of animals you should and should not eat. Even though Chris eats at [[McDonald's]] every "2 or 3 times a week", odds are that he's had pork or shellfish at least once in his life, if not many times.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:11&version=NIV Leviticus 19:11]''' "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another." [[List of Chris's lies|Chris lies a lot]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:12&version=NIV Leviticus 19:12]''' "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD." Most of this article is dedicated to the misuse of God's name.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:19&version=NIV Leviticus 19:19]''' "Keep my decrees: Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Chris benefits from the science of hybridization daily. Those Chicken McNuggets of which he's ever so fond come from hybrid corn, and you can bet his [[Chris and Fashion|clothes]] aren't a pure weave. And what is [[Sonichu]], if not "mating different kinds of animals": a [[Sonic|hedgehog]] and a [[Pokémon|Pikachu]]?
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:26&version=NIV Leviticus 19:26]''' "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. Do not practice divination or sorcery." It's fairly doubtful that Chris keeps kosher about the meat, but more importantly... [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]! [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|FORGIVENESS BLESSINGS!]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:27&version=NIV Leviticus 19:27]''' "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:28&version=NIV Leviticus 19:28]''' "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." While Chris has not directly violated this law, he has used tattoos to [[Chris and fashion#The "IBA." outfit|attract the ladies]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2020:6&version=NIV Leviticus 20:6]''' "I will set my face against the person who turns to Mediums and spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, and I will cut him off from his people." Chris has claimed to hear the voices of [[Aunt Corrina]], his [[Cherokian Clan|other]] [[Daniel Weston|ancestors]], and GodJesus at the former's funeral, all giving approval to his [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[china]].<ref>[[Sarah May Skype Logs]]</ref>

However, when Christianity first became a religion, Saint Paul came up with the new covenant, so all the bits about circumcision, sacrificing goats, eating a kosher diet, and other Levitical laws no longer apply. Anyone who claims to be a Christian and still follows the Levitical laws isn't really a Christian so much as an ultra-orthodox Jew, or a [[Wikipedia:Seventh-day Adventist Church|Seventh-day Adventist]]. Also, many of Jesus' teachings abolish many of the Leviticus and Deuteronomy laws, such as food by in which Jesus said '''"''It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man.''"''' There are a few ultra-fundie Christians who follow some of the old Leviticus laws due to a passage on Matthew, but all of this is irrelevant in the first place since Chris neither reads the Bible or seriously cares about Christianity.

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing, and most all groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]] – not to even mention the fact that neo-Pagans often take a dim view on people who get into religious groups [[Chris and sex#Moral basis on sex and double standards|just to get sex]], without comprehending the philosophy. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]], [[Women's Rights|sexist]], [[Chris and Race|racist]], failure.

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the [[Chris and English|accumilitive]] memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|[[Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref> The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he seems to call himself Jesus: ''"You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save."''<ref>[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]</ref> However, this could also be a [[Chris and English|malapropism]] for "Word of God."

Chris might have developed a God complex as early as [[2000]], as the halo floating over his head on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' seems to indicate.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

===Other Christian churches===
Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons.

[[Angelica]] is a [[Wikipedia:Catholic Church|Roman Catholic]], raised by [[Wikipedia:Nun#Catholic|nuns]]. However, she is still a huge slut without any opposition to premarital sex.

===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.<ref>In fact, in [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13#09-02-27|one chat]] Chris has referred to what was most likely a synagogue as a "Jewich Church".</ref> In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Wikipedia:Jerry Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Other than not being Christian, he probably hates Muslims because he's enough of a dumbass to likely believe all Muslims are terrorists because of 9/11, [[Twin Falling Towers|which he mocked]].

===Scientology===
On 28 [[December 2009]], Chris wrote a blog entry telling [[Jack Thaddeus]] to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology".<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref> Following this comment Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapprove of it.<ref>[[Mailbag 52#Master of diplomacy at work|Mailbag 52]]</ref>

===Atheism===
[[Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> It's even harder for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[troll]]s by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" by [[Thorg]] in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. In the [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, [[The Wallflower]] told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> which would most likely classify her as either an atheist or an agnostic. As the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|continued to pursue her]].

In [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris gives "pizza-faced atheist" as [[Thorg]]'s defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Then in a later video, he attacks atheism with arguments so silly that even a strawman fundamentalist wouldn't use them, and that's saying something.

{{quote|But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have [[GodJesus|God or Jesus]] at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!}}

When Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada‎|exposed Thorg]], his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' athiest". The video was removed because it was declared - and rightfully so - hate speech.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

2013

2012-01-21T03:50:38Z

ReiDemon: /* Scheduled events */ Is this about right?

'''2013''' is the year after [[2012]].

==Scheduled events==
*January 2013 - The chocolate condom [[Chris]] bought for [[PandaHalo]] expires.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]] at 23:39</ref>
*24 February 2013 - Chris [[Chris's birthday|turns 31]].
*May 2013 - publication of [[Wikipedia:DSM-5|DSM-5]].<ref>[http://www.dsm5.org/pages/default.aspx]</ref> The new version is expected to reclassify [[Asperger Syndrome]] as a form of [[Autism]], rather than a separate disorder, as well as potentially alter the meaning of high-functioning autism.<ref>[http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jdKqvb7DZsuRpnh8NnrTnV2DJIlgD9DP3S0O1 Changes proposed in how psychiatrists diagnose.]</ref>

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

Lovely Weather

2012-01-15T16:01:00Z

ReiDemon: /* Overview */

{{Quote|
<poem>"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,
Ring ting tingling, too
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you,
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "Yoo hoo,"
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you."</poem>
|Sleigh Ride<ref>[http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/christmas_songs_lyrics_10575/other_lyrics_33314/sleigh_ride_lyrics_360899.html "Sleigh Ride" Lyrics]</ref>}}

[[Image:Lovelymotherfuckingweather.jpg|thumb|Note the broad shoulders, the lack of hips, and how she's as tall as Chris...]]

'''Lovely Weather''' is [[Chris]]'s future wife, whom Chris traveled through the [[Time Void]] to [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|rape]], ''Revenge of the Nerds''-style. Although many of Chris's real-life [[sweethearts]] have also made appearances in his comics, Lovely is as yet an entirely fictional creation, making Chris all the more pathetic.

Chris [[Mailbag 50#And in closing...|likes to sing]] "Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather..." over and over. He thinks [[Random-access humor|this is clever]] because "Lovely Weather" could be someone's name! [[Chris and reality|Now it is.]] For the godless heathens among us who have never heard Christmas music before, the song is "Sleigh Ride", a holiday staple since the early 1950's.<ref>[[Wikipedia: Sleigh Ride]]</ref>

==Overview==
[[Image:LovelyWeatherBizarro.jpg|thumb|150px|A sweetheart of the OPPOSITE GENDER.]]

Lovely Weather can be seen in the comic in her present-day form, where she looks like a [[Silvana|man in drag]]. Since Lovely Weather was a relatively new character in the ''[[Sonichu]]'' comic, with a first appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[fans]] had expected more [[Giant Penis Comic|"shenanigans"]] involving her in the future. The indefinite hiatus of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], however, makes this unlikely.

She stands as a bold statement of Christian's unrealistic expectations, as she has enormous jugs, wears a thong, enjoys very casual sex, and thinks even the most bland sentence is hilarious. In other words, his perfect woman appears to be a whore who's almost as retarded as he is.

Some speculate that her masculine proportions are a reference to Chris's desire for a sweetheart merely of the opposite ''gender''. ("Gender" is a psychological phenomenon, which leaves the field wide open for [[Mailbag 27|MTF transsexuals]].) As such, she could very well be a trans-woman. Others speculate that she has man shoulders because [[Chris and art|Chris can't draw.]]

Lovely and Chris are supposedly married by 2015. Considering the way things are going, it's doubtful he'll get married, or even [[Hanky panky|laid]], by then. We all know that the man is going to die a bachelor and a [[virgin with rage]].

In his [[CWCipedia]] page devoted to her, Chris denies that Lovely Weather is not [[The Wallflower]] as a pseudonym. Given his [[Lies|past record of honesty]], the claim is doubtful at best.

==Chris and time travel==
[[Image:CWCtothefuture.jpg|260px|thumb|left|What he didn't mention is that he went back to 1955 and made out with [[Barbara|his mother]]. And entirely failed to inspire Chuck Berry.]]

Chris is a hormone-addled goofball, so it's not likely that he has put any serious thought into the mechanics of time travel, its effects on causality, the wisdom of living one's life out of order, the morality of manipulating the progress of other people's lives, and so on. He simply sees the meeting with Lovely as a chance for his fictional avatar to get his rocks off. The implications that he has ignored are significant.

For instance, the comic book Chris now has direct knowledge of his personal future that will affect the decisions he makes as he progresses towards it - in fact, he takes time to set their "fated first date" before attacking [[4-cent]]. Knowing that he will eventually marry Lovely might, paradoxically, incline him to decisions or result in events that will change the course of his life that produced that outcome. (Unless, of course, one subscribes to the belief that Chris's marriage with Lovely was foreordained, and his time travel jaunt was already one piece of the puzzle that lead to it.)

Likewise, he has interfered with the future lives of both Lovely and himself. The future Chris may have been aware of his past-self's encounter with his wife, but he may also have some explaining to do if Lovely ever works out that he wasn't the one she happened to sleep with that time.

There's also the fact that having sex with someone under false pretenses is, if not outright rape, then something pretty unpleasant at the very least. Whatever it might say about Chris's understanding of causality, his encounter with Lovely speaks volumes about his understanding of sex and relationships. He's perfectly happy to screw first, then meet and get to know her later.

Listen closely, and you can hear H.G. Wells and William Hartnell spinning in their graves.

==Statutory rape?==
Chris meets with Lovely Weather when he travels to the future. Although (according to Chris) he marries Lovely Weather in the future, when Chris meets her she believes that he is the Chris of his time and has sex with him. Chris at no point explains the situation or seems uncomfortable having sex with a person he's both never met and who believes he is someone else. In the [[mailbag]]s, Chris explains that since she technically initiated the sex, [[Kacey Phone Call|despite being tricked about who it was]], it both wasn't rape and was morally right and just.

==Meg Griffin affair==

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only pages after traveling to the future and raping Lovely Weather, Chris meets up with Meg Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'' fame. Chris asks her if Seth has permitted her to turn eighteen yet, but doesn't even wait for her to answer before making out<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_40 Chris and Meg]</ref> with her (with more presumably happening off-screen). [[Blanca|Once]] [[PandaHalo|again]], Chris cheats on his significant others, even completely fictional ones.

She later reveals herself to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, which doesn't at all change the part of this that readers are latching on to.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also:==
*[[List of Chris's sweethearts]]
*[[Chris and Sex]]
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler]]
*[[Chloe]]

{{Sweethearts}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]][[Category:Sweethearts]][[Category:Characters]]

Mailbag/References

2012-01-12T19:56:43Z

ReiDemon:

The [[Trolls|fans]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] love to mail Chris using the names of famous individuals, both real and fictional. Chris only seems to realize that he's heard of these people before if they repeatedly mention who they are and what they've done in the body of their letter. For example, Chris noticed and called out Eddie Berganza and Stephen king because they repeatedly mentioned who they were and specifically what they did in their lives. Likewise, Chris failed to notice people like Trent Reznor and Leonardo Da Vinci because the letters did not repeatedly reinforce that they were written by someone important. A more generous interpretation would be that he assumed the names to be internet pen names and left it at that, but it's more likely he didn't notice at all.

==The list==
'''[[Mailbag 1]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Leonardo da Vinci|Leonardo DaVinci]]: Painter, inventor, super genius.

'''[[Mailbag 2]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Brigitte Bardot|Brigitte Bardot]]: A French woman identifying as "Emmanuelle Bardot" sends Chris an image of herself and an edited version of said image in which she is made to look like [[Rosechu]]. The actual photo is of French actress/model Brigitte Bardot and was taken during the filming of ''[[wikipedia:Viva Maria!|Viva Maria!]]'' [http://www.allposters.com/-sp/Actress-Brigitte-Bardot-on-Location-During-Filming-of-Movie-Viva-Maria-Posters_i3787502_.htm]
*[[Wikipedia:Family Matters|Laura Winslow]]: The daughter from the TV series ''Family Matters''.
*[[Wikipedia:Rocky IV|Ivan Drago]]: Rocky's opponent from ''Rocky IV''.

'''[[Mailbag 3]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Manuel Noriega|Manuel Noriega]]: Deposed dictatorial leader of Panama.
*While no names are mentioned, one letter speaks of a boy who dropped out of school at 16, was a terrible painter, and had started making political moves with an extreme ideology, essentially a quick summary of [[Wikipedia:Adolf Hitler|Adolf Hitler's]] early years.
*A homosexual man tells Chris he's considering undergoing a sex change operation and assuming the name [[Wikipedia:Fergie_(singer)|Stacy Ann Ferguson]] afterwards.
*[[Wikipedia:George Armstrong Custer|George Custer]]: American Army Officer who battled Native Americans in the wild west.

'''[[Mailbag 4]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Todd Phillips|Todd Phillips]]: Filmmaker.
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Rocky IV|Ivan Drago]].
*[[Wikipedia:Lucifer|Samael Morningstar]]: The devil.
*[[Wikipedia:Joseph Stalin|Joseph Stalin]]: Former dictatorial ruler of the Soviet Union.
*[[Wikipedia:Gabe Newell|Gabe Newell]]: Co-founder of game development company Valve.

'''[[Mailbag 5]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:List of Kanto Gym Leaders#Lt. Surge|Lieutenant Surge]]: One of the Gym Leaders in [[Pokemon]].
*[[Wikipedia:General_Von_Klinkerhoffen|Erich Von Klinkerhoffen]]: Nazi from the sitcom ''Allo 'Allo!''

'''[[Mailbag 6]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Levi_Johnston|Levi Johnston]]: The guy who knocked up Sarah Palin's daughter.
*[[Wikipedia:Kim Jong-un|Kim Jong Un]]: Third son of Kim Jong-Il, the former Supreme Leader of North Korea.
*[[Wikipedia:John Wayne Gacy|John Gacy]]: A [[homos|gay]] serial murderer known as the "Killer Clown".

'''[[Mailbag 7]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Jeffrey Dahmer|Jeffrey Dahmer]]: Gay serial murderer who's most famous for practicing cannibalism on his victims.
*[[Wikipedia:Starship Troopers|Sergeant Charles Zim]]: A character from ''Starship Troopers'', played by Clancy Brown in the movie.
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Brigitte Bardot|Emmanuelle Bardot]].
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Levi_Johnston|Levi Johnston]].

'''[[Mailbag 8]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Bailey-Jay Granger|Linetrap]]. But she doesn't really count.

'''[[Mailbag 9]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:The Big Lebowski|Walter Sobchak]]: John Goodman's character in the movie ''The Big Lebowski''. Goodman himself is mentioned in the body of the email.
*[[Wikipedia:Horst Wessel|Horst Wessel]]: Slain activist made into an icon of the Nazi Party.
*[[Wikipedia:Trent Reznor|Trent Reznor]]: Nine Inch Nails frontman.
*[[Wikipedia:Mahmoud Ahmadinejad|Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]]: Current president of Iran.

'''[[Mailbag 10]]'''
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Mahmoud Ahmadinejad|Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]].
*[[Wikipedia:Bilbo Baggins|Bilbo Baggins]]: Protagonist of ''[[Wikipedia:The Hobbit|The Hobbit]]'' and a supporting character in ''[[Wikipedia:The Lord of the Rings|The Lord of the Rings]]'' trilogy.
*[[Wikipedia:List of Legend of the Galactic Heroes characters#Leading Admirals|Ernest Mecklinger]]: A character in ''[[Wikipedia:Legend of the Galactic Heroes|Legend of the Galactic Heroes]]''.

'''[[Mailbag 11]]'''
*[[wikipedia:Paul Bernardo|Paul Bernardo]]: Serial killer and rapist.
*[[wikipedia:There_Will_Be_Blood|Daniel Plainview]]: Daniel Day-Lewis' character in the movie ''There Will Be Blood''.
*[[Wikipedia:Joseph Joestar|Joseph Joestar]]: The second-generation hero from the manga ''JoJo's Bizarre Adventure''.

'''[[Mailbag 12]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Besarion Jughashvili|Besarion Jughashvili]]: Joseph Stalin's father.
*Another repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Levi Johnston|Levi Johnston]].

'''[[Mailbag 13]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Charles Darwin|Charles Darwin]]: Scientist best known for first postulating the Theory of Evolution.
*[[Wikipedia:The Man Who Was Thursday|Gabriel Syme]]: Main character of the Christian allegory ''The Man Who Was Thursday''.
*[[Wikipedia:Rod Blagojevich|Rod Blagojevich]]: Disgraced former governor of Illinois.
*[[Wikipedia:Walter Breuning|Walter Breuning]]: Guy who's really, really old.
*[[Wikipedia:Oedipus Rex|Oedipus Rex]]: Main character of the play by Sophocles of the same name.
*[[wikipedia:Jokela school shooting|Erik Pikkuvikainen]]: Spliced-around version of Pekka-Eric Auvinen, the kid responsible for the Jokela school shooting.
*[[Wikipedia:Albert Speer|Albert Speer]]: German architect and minister in Hitler's government. Email address "domebuilder" refers to [[wikipedia:Volkshalle|a famously disproportionate design]].

'''[[Mailbag 14]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Joseph Jackson (manager)|Joseph Jackson]]: Michael Jackson's father.
*[[Wikipedia:Charles Whitman|Charles Whitman]]: Clock tower sniper.
*[[Wikipedia:Paul McCartney|Paul McCartney]]: International rock star and former member of The Beatles.
*[[Wikipedia:Gloria Steinem|Gloria Steinem]]: Feminist activist.
*[[Wikipedia:Elton John|Elton John]]: International rock star. Wrote under his birth name: Reginald Dwight.
*[[Wikipedia:Eddie Berganza|Eddie Berganza]]: Comic artist.

'''[[Mailbag 15]]'''
*[[wikipedia:Norio Wakamoto|Norio Wakamoto]]: Japanese voice actor.
*[[wikipedia:Alfred_Jarry|Alfred Jarry]]: French absurdist author and playwright.

'''[[Mailbag 16]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Ron Jeremy|Ron Jeremy]]: Porn star.
*[[Wikipedia:Rembrandt_Brown|Rembrandt Brown]]: Fictional singer from the TV show ''Sliders''. His e-mail address, "Crying Man," refers to his nickname within the show.

'''[[Mailbag 17]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Johnny Winter|Johnny Winter]]: Blues singer.
*[[Wikipedia:Rob_Schneider|Robert Schneider]]: American film actor.

'''[[Mailbag 18]]'''
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Joseph Jackson (manager)|Joseph Jackson]].
*[[Wikipedia:Ed Gein|Edward Gein]]: Insane murderer and grave robber, inspired ''The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'', ''Psycho'' and the Buffalo Bill character in ''The Silence of the Lambs''.
*[[Wikipedia:The Screwtape Letters|Wormwood]]: Apprentice demon from C.S. Lewis's novel ''The Screwtape Letters''. Screwtape himself, Wormwood's uncle and mentor, is mentioned, referred to as "Mr. Tape".
*[[Wikipedia:Castlevania|Maria Renard]]: A character in several ''Castlevania'' games.

'''[[Mailbag 19]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Marilyn vos Savant|Marilyn vos Savant]]: Held the Guinness world record for Highest IQ until that record was retired.
*[[Wikipedia:Light Yagami|Light Yagami]]: Mass-murdering main character of ''Death Note''. His name is written weeaboo style as "Yagami Raito".
*[[Wikipedia:Black_Dynamite|Fiendish Dr. Wu]]: Antagonist and kung fu master from ''Black Dynamite''.

'''[[Mailbag 20]]'''
*While not written by any specific character, a direct reference to [[Wikipedia:Strong Bad|Strong Bad]].
*[[Wikipedia:Cory_Matthews|Corey Matthews]]: Main character of ''Boy Meets World''.
*[[Wikipedia:Bruce Lee|Bruce Lee]]: Martial artist and actor, written under his Chinese name "Lee Jun Fan".

'''[[Mailbag 21]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Margaret Mead|Margaret Mead]]: Christian anthropologist and writer.
*[[Wikipedia:Jesus Christ|Jesus Christ]]: The Christian Messiah.
*[[Wikipedia:Colin Baker|Colin Baker]]: English actor who portrayed the 6th incarnation of [[wikipedia:Doctor Who|The Doctor.]]

'''[[Mailbag 22]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Tom Jones (singer)|Tom Jones]]: Popular Welsh lounge singer. Also the protagonist of Henry Fielding's novel ''[[wikipedia:The_History_of_Tom_Jones,_a_Foundling|The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling]]'', from whom the singer takes his stage name.

'''[[Mailbag 23]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Adolf Meyer (psychiatrist)|Adolf Meyer]]: Psychologist and former president of the American Psychiatric Association.
*[[Wikipedia:Monkey Island (series)|Guybrush Threepwood]]: Protagonist of the ''Monkey Island'' adventure game series.
*[[Wikipedia:The Fountainhead|Howard Roark]]: Main character of the Ayn Rand novel ''The Fountainhead''.
*[[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Pokémon anime series#Rivals|Gary Oak]]: Ash's rival from the ''Pokemon'' series.
*[[Wikipedia:Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold|Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold]]: Columbine school shooters. The letter was not purported to be written by them specifically, but contained their pictures, and was written by someone claiming to be their teacher.
*[[Wikipedia:Morrissey|Steven Patrick Morrissey]]: Singer, former member of The Smiths.
*[[Wikipedia:Mega Man (original series)|Thomas Light]]: Inventor of ''Mega Man'', from the video game series of the same name.

'''[[Mailbag 24]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Lizzie_Borden|Liz Borden]]: Boston woman famously accused of murdering her father and stepmother with an axe, but never convicted.
*[[wikipedia:Pretty_Woman|Vivian Ward]]: Main character of the movie ''Pretty Woman''.
*[[Wikipedia:Sayonara,_Zetsubou-Sensei|Zetsubou-sensei]]: Main character of the manga ''Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei''.
*[[Wikipedia:Wolverine_(comics)|Wolverine]]: Marvel Comics superhero, written under his real name "Logan".
*[[Wikipedia:Magneto_(comics)|Magneto]]: Marvel Comics supervillain, written under the name "Max Eisenhardt".

'''[[Mailbag 25]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Bailey-Jay Granger|Linetrap]] again.

'''[[Mailbag 26]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Aliens (film)|Trevor Wierzbowski]]: Minor character from the movie ''Aliens''.
*[[Wikipedia:Stephen King|Stephen King]]: Famed horror author. Chris actually noticed this one, probably because the writer of the letter was too blatant.
*[[Wikipedia:Chris Brown (entertainer)|Christopher Brown]]: R&B singer. His letter is written about his then-[[Wikipedia:Rihanna|Rihanna]], and how he beat the hell out of her.

'''[[Mailbag 27]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Ted Kennedy|Ted Kennedy]]: Politician, recently deceased. Wrote about [[Wikipedia:Mary Jo Kopechne|Mary Jo Kopechne]], the girl who died next to him in the infamous Chappaquiddick car accident.
*[[Wikipedia:John Calvin|John Calvin]]: Christian philosopher whose ideas about predestination have shaped much of Protestantism.
*[[Wikipedia:Jack Harkness|Jack Harkness]]: Character from ''Doctor Who'' and its spinoff, ''Torchwood'' (referred to by the email handle)
*[[Wikipedia:Randal Graves|Randal Graves]]: Character from Kevin Smith's movies.
*[[Wikipedia:David Vanian|David Vanian]]: Lead singer for the punk rock band The Damned.
*And [[Wikipedia:Bailey-Jay Granger|Linetrap]] again.

'''[[Mailbag 28]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Bailey-Jay Granger|Linetrap]]

'''[[Mailbag 29]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Variations_of_green#Feldgrau|Herr Feldgrau]]: This enthusiastically racist correspondent is named after the color of German army uniforms during World War II: "feldgrau" is German for "field gray."
*Reprint of [[Wikipedia:Eddie Berganza|Eddie Berganza]]'s letter. While it's likely Chris has no idea who this is, he called him out on his identity, probably because the letter made a very big deal out of his career.

'''[[Mailbag 30]]'''
*[[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]]: Character from Family Guy. Chris noticed and played along as the author was playing up his proposed ''Family Guy'' script.
*[[Wikipedia:Jim Lee|Jim Lee]]: Comic artist.
*[[Wikipedia:Stan (song)|Stan]]: Character from the [[Wikipedia:Eminem|Eminem]] song of the same name. Text of the letter was the first verse of said song, altered to apply to Chris.

'''[[Mailbag 31]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Michael Jackson]]: Deceased American pop singer, famously accused of child molestation, but never convicted.
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Stephen King|Stephen King]]. Chris either refused to respond or forgot.
*[[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VII|Rufus Shinra]]: Character from the video game ''Final Fantasy VII''.

'''[[Mailbag 32]]'''
*While not using any character's name, one author's name and e-mail address were a reference to the Dethtroll episode of [[Wikipedia:Metalocalypse|Metalocalypse]].
*[[Wikipedia:H. P. Lovecraft|H. P. Lovecraft]]: Author, creator of the cosmic horror genre of literature.
*[[Wikipedia:Jane Austen|Jane Austen]]: Author of ''Pride and Prejudice'' and other romantic novels. Humorously, Chris accused her of being uncreative.

'''[[Mailbag 33]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Edward R. Burke|Ed Burke]]: American politician. Might also refer to the British political philosopher [[Wikipedia:Edmund Burke|Edmund Burke]].

'''[[Mailbag 34]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Ezra Pound|Ezra Pound]]: Poet. Oddly, the e-mail address given referenced Shakespeare's play [[Wikipedia:The Merchant of Venice|The Merchant of Venice]], which has a [[Michael Snyder|scary Jewish man]] as the villain.
*[[Wikipedia:Snatcher|Gillian Seed]]: Main character of the video game ''Snatcher''.
*[[Wikipedia:Baby-sitters club#Mary Anne Spier|Mary Anne Spier]]: Character from ''The Baby-Sitters Club'', a series of novels for young girls.

'''[[Mailbag 35]]'''
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Michael Jackson]].
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Snatcher|Gillian Seed]].
*[[Wikipedia:Josef Mengele|Josef Mengele]]: Nazi war criminal, famous for his inhumane medical experiments.
*[[Wikipedia:Fred West|Fred West]]: English serial killer and rapist.

'''[[Mailbag 36]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Kevin Mitnick|Kevin Mitnick]]: Renowned '80s computer hacker.
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Ron Jeremy|Ron Jeremy]], this time claiming to be a clergyman.

'''[[Mailbag 37]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Gary Larson|Gary Larson]]: Creator of ''The Far Side'' cartoons.

'''[[Mailbag 38]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Freddie Mercury|Freddie Mercury]]: Lead singer of the band Queen. Written under his Persian birth name Farrokh Bulsara.
*[[Wikipedia:Toby Klein|"Mr. Insanity" Toby Klein]]: American professional wrestler.

'''[[Mailbag 39]]'''
*Another repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Michael Jackson]].
*[[Wikipedia:Gendo Ikari|Gendo Ikari]]: Character from the anime series ''Neon Genesis Evangelion''.
*[[Wikipedia:Chang Yu-sheng|Chang Yu-sheng]]: Late Chinese vocalist.
*[[Wikipedia:Puyo Puyo|Arle Nadja]]: Protagonist of the ''Puyo Puyo'' video games.
*[[Wikipedia:Vidkun Quisling|Vidkun Quisling]]: Norwegian politician, attempted to seize power during WWII and was subsequently executed for treason.
*[[Wikipedia:Quincy Magoo|Mr. Magoo]]: Legally blind cartoon character.

'''[[Mailbag 40]]'''
*[[Blake]]: Black Sonichu. Not "famous", but Chris completely missed it anyways.
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Ron Jeremy|Ron Jeremy]].

'''[[Mailbag 41]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Milton Bradley|Milton Bradley]]: Board game pioneer.
*[[Wikipedia:William McKinley|William McKinley]]: 25th president of the United States.
*[[Wikipedia:Neil Gaiman|Neil Gaiman]]: Novelist and author of the ''Sandman'' comic book series.
*[[Wikipedia:Kathryn Janeway|Kathryn Janeway]]: Character from the TV series ''Star Trek: Voyager''.

'''[[Mailbag 42]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Augustus Hill|Augustus Hill]]: Character from the TV series ''Oz''.
*[[Wikipedia:Jaz Hoyt|Jazz Hoyt]]: Another character from ''Oz''.
*[[Wikipedia:Snatcher|Randam Hajile]]: Character from the video game ''Snatcher''.
*[[Wikipedia:John Williams|John Williams]]: Composer of film soundtracks.
*[[Wikipedia:Fight Club#Robert "Bob" Paulson|Robert Paulson]]: Character from the movie ''Fight Club''. The only reference to his full name was in his e-mail address.
*[[Wikipedia:Tomás de Torquemada|Tomás de Torquemada]]: Leader of the Spanish Inquisition. Written under the name "Thomas Torquemada".
*[[Wikipedia:Kareem Saïd|Kareem Saïd]]: Yet another character from ''Oz''. Written under the name "Kareem Siad".

'''[[Mailbag 43]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Masaki Sumitani|Masaki Sumitani]]: Japanese comedian and actor. Most famous for his character [[Homos|Hard Gay]].
*[[Wikipedia:List of recurring Monty Python's Flying Circus characters|Ken Shabby]]: Recurring character from [[Monty Python]]'s Flying Circus.
*[[Wikipedia:R. Dorothy Wayneright|R. Dorothy Wayneright]]: Android girl from the anime series ''Big O''.
*[[Wikipedia:G.K. Chesterton|G.K. Chesterton]]: English Catholic apologist and author.

'''[[Mailbag 44]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Max Cady|Max Cady]]:Character from the novel ''The Executioners'', adapted for the movies as ''Cape Fear''.
*[[Wikipedia:Trevor McFur in the Crescent Galaxy|Trevor McFur]]: Furry from ''Trevor McFur in the Crescent Galaxy'', a launch game for the Atari Jaguar game console.
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Snatcher|Randam Hajile]].

'''[[Mailbag 45]]'''
*[[Duck|Mike Hawke]]: Dick joke commonly used in prank calls.
*Another appearance from [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]], whose life is rapidly deteriorating.
*[[Wikipedia:Manfred Eicher|Manfred Eicher]]: German record producer.
*[[Wikipedia:Gil Gerard|Gil Gerard]]: Actor, most famously known for playing Buck Rogers.
*[[Wikipedia:Adam Savage|Adam Savage]]: Co-host of ''Mythbusters''. Chris likely noticed, as the e-mail made a big deal out of him being from Mythbusters, and then sent him a picture of a man's asshole.

'''[[Mailbag 46]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Kevin Peter Hall|Kevin Peter Hall]]: Actor, the man in the alien suit in the first two ''Predator'' films.
*[[Wikipedia:Tom Green|Tom Green]]: Either a terrible comedian or an avant-garde genius, depending on whom you ask.

'''[[Mailbag 47]]'''
*While not a direct reference, one e-mail address referenced "[[Wikipedia:Rocket to Russia|Teenage Lobotomy]]" a song by [[Wikipedia:The Ramones|The Ramones]].
*[[Wikipedia:Valentina Tereshkova|Valentina Tereshkova]]: Russian astronaut and the first woman in space.
*[[Wikipedia:Tom Vilsack|Tom Vilsack]]: Current U.S. Secretary of Agriculture.

'''[[Mailbag 48]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Jeff_Gerstmann|Jeff Gerstmann]]: Video game journalist, notorious for his firing from GameSpot.
*[[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]] returns, all bummed out that Chris broke his promise.
*[[Wikipedia:The Proposition|Morris Stanley]]: Ray Winstone's character in the [[PandaHalo|Aussie]] Western film ''The Proposition''. Unlike in the film, the proposition made in the email revolved around Chris's petty rivalry with ''[[Asperchu]]'', since Chris would have little interest in saving [[Cole Smithey|his brother]] from being hanged.
*[[Wikipedia:Billy Herrington|Billy Herrington]]: Bisexual porn star, the inspiration for many strange memes among Japanese nerds. His e-mail handle, "Bro Aniki," is a reference to the [[Wikipedia: Cho Aniki|Cho Aniki]] video game series, which is rife with homosexual innuendo.

'''[[Mailbag 49]]'''
*One letter combined the names of [[Wikipedia:Bart Simpson|Bart Simpson]] of The Simpsons and [[Wikipedia:Brock Samson|Brock Samson]] of the Venture Brothers. Probably the second time Chris [[Father Call|failed to recognize Brock]].
*[[Wikipedia:Fist of the Blue Sky|Kenshiro Kasumi]]: Main character of the manga series ''Fist of the Blue Sky''.

'''[[Mailbag 50]]'''
*Nothing. No actual e-mails either, because Chris copypasta'd a bunch of sarcastic forum posts that pretended to kiss his ass and took them all at face value.

'''[[Mailbag 51]]'''
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Gil Gerard|Gil Gerard]].
*[[Wikipedia:The Notorious B.I.G.|The Notorious B.I.G.]]: Deceased rapper, written under his nickname "Biggie".
*[[Wikipedia:Scott Bernard|Scott Bernard]]: Character from the cartoon series ''Robotech''.
*While it did not refer to any single character, one name and e-mail address was a direct reference to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZZUMjoxfZA mahvel baybee].

'''[[Mailbag 52]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Lisa Marie Presley|Lisa Marie Presley]]: As "Marie Jackson" revealing the tragic ending of the [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]] saga. In a bizarre inversion, Chris assumes the letter is about the real Michael Jackson, and ignores it.

'''[[Mailbag 53]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Christopher Doyle|Chris Doyle]]: Award-winning Australian cinematographer.
*[[Wikipedia:Jack Marsh|Jack Marsh]]: Renowned Australian cricketer.
*[[Wikipedia:Dr._Tran|Dr. Tran]]: Star of an old YouTube meme.
*[[Wikipedia:Robert_William_Fisher|Robert Fisher]]: Possibly referring to the FBI most-wanted fugitive who murdered his family in 2001.
*[[Wikipedia:Frank Burns|Frank Burns]]: A character from the movie and TV series ''M*A*S*H''.

'''[[Mailbag 54]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:David_Wright_(baseball)|David Wright]]: New York Mets All-Star third baseman.
*[[Wikipedia:I Am Legend|Robert Neville]]: Hero of the novel and film ''I Am Legend''. Has been played by Charlton Heston, Vincent Price, and Will Smith.
*[[Wikipedia:Michael Steele|Michael Steele]]: Chairman of the Republican National Committee (openly identified as such).
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Neon Genesis Evangelion|Gendo Ikari]], now using the e-mail handle "It's Gendo" (in reference to a fan-parody video).

'''[[Mailbag 55]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Anna Malle|Anna Malle]]: Deceased pornographic film actress.
*[[Wikipedia:Dale_Gribble#Rusty_Shackleford|Rusty Shackleford]]: Alias used by the character Dale Gribble from the TV cartoon ''King of the Hill''.
*[[Wikipedia:Charles Aznavour|Charles Aznavour]]: French singer and songwriter, namesake of the anime character Char Aznable.
*[[Wikipedia:Harry Patridge|Harry Partridge]]: Beloved internet animator. Might be the real Harry considering the fact that Chris and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] were featured in [[Chris in the media#Nicolas Cage Wants Cake|two of]] [[Chris in the media#Skyrim|his shorts]].
*[[Wikipedia:John Shaft|John Shaft]]: Hero of several 1970s blaxploitation movies.
*Repeat appearances by [[Wikipedia:I Am Legend|Robert Neville]] and [[Wikipedia:Dr._Tran|Dr. Tran]]. Leeland (Tran's best friend) also sends an email.

'''[[Mailbag 56]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Mystery_Science_Theater_3000|Crow Servo]]: Amalgam of the characters Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo from the TV series ''Mystery Science Theater 3000''.
*Another e-mail in the [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]] saga, this time allegedly from his son.
*Repeat appearances by [[Wikipedia:I Am Legend|Robert Neville]] and [[Wikipedia:Dr._Tran|Dr. Tran]].

'''[[Mailbag 57]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Fyodor Dostoyevsky|Fyodor Dostoyevsky]]: Russian novelist.
*[[Wikipedia:Planeteer|Ma-Ti]]: Character from '90s TV cartoon ''Captain Planet and the Planeteers''.

'''[[Mailbag 58]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Reimu Hakurei|Reimu Hakurei]]: One of the main characters from the [[Wikipedia:Touhou|Touhou]] series of games. The e-mail handle 'diochromatic.butterfly' is a reference to one of her theme songs.
*[[Wikipedia:Takato Matsuda|Takato Matsuda]]: One of the main characters from [[Wikipedia:Digimon Tamers|Digimon Tamers]], known in America as Digimon Season 3.
*[[Wikipedia:Wilhelm II, German Emperor|Kaiser Wilhelm]]: Leader of Germany until its defeat in World War I.
*[[Wikipedia:Sam_the_eagle|Sam Eagle]]: A recurring character from ''The Muppet Show''.
*[[Wikipedia:Frank_Miller_(comics)|Frank Miller]]: American comic artist, creator of ''Sin City''.
*[[Wikipedia:List_of_recurring_Metal_Gear_characters#Hal_Emmerich|Hal Emmerich]]: Hacker/researcher from the [[Metal Gear Solid]] series of videogames. The e-mail address refers to "Konota" [''sic''] from [[Wikipedia:Lucky Star (manga)|Lucky Star]].
*[[Wikipedia:David Hubbard|David Hubbard]]: Long-deceased senator from Alabama.

'''[[Mailbag 59]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Paul Hogan|Paul Hogan]]: Australian actor, star of the ''Crocodile Dundee'' films.

'''[[Mailbag 60]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Terry Bogard|Terry Bogard]]: Hero of the ''Fatal Fury'' video games, who writes using his full name Terrence Bogard. Perhaps coincidentally, another correspondent the the same mailbag uses the nickname "Big Bear," which was also the name of a minor character from ''Fatal Fury 2''.
[[Category:Fan]][[Category:CWCipedia]]

Snooky's Pawn Shop

2012-01-09T21:13:47Z

ReiDemon:

'''Snooky's Pawn Shop''' is a pawn shop located in [[Charlottesville, Virginia]].

==Chris And The Store==

Chris has been to the shop on several occasions. In [[August 2010]], he sold off some [[video games]] of his, a very rare action.<ref>[[Jackie e-mails]]</ref> He sold 12 NES games, 3 SNES games, 6 Genesis games, 9 game boy games, and 6 PS1 games. He tried selling 17 other PS1 games, but were denied because Chris did a shit job at taking care of them.

A couple of weeks later, he sold off his Super Nintendo game console and a few accessories for it. He made $80 from these two sales, using it for himself and to pay off his finances.

On his last trip to the stop, Chris sold his Nintendo 64 and all the games he had for the console. He also tried to sell his Sega Genesis, but it was denied because it didn't work.

In [[October 2010]], [[Clyde Cash]] took a trip to the store, buying some of Chris's games and one of his accessories. He took picture of them and uploaded them to the [[CWCki]]. In these pictures, it is shown that Chris [[Ego|puts his name and birthdate on his games]].

<gallery>
File:Groupiz.jpg
File:Dk3v.jpg
File:Fotns.jpg ‎
File:Nametage.jpg|Nintendo Seal of Truth and Honesty
File:Drmariofull.jpg
File:Whytp.jpg
File:Thefuck.jpg
</gallery>

==References==

<references />

{{Template:Places}}

[[Category:Places]]

User:ReiDemon

2012-01-08T00:40:27Z

ReiDemon: Created page with "I'm a stranger to the CWCki, but not to Chris-chan or Wikis in general. More at eleven."

I'm a stranger to the CWCki, but not to Chris-chan or Wikis in general.

More at eleven.

Joseph Herring

2012-01-07T01:19:39Z

ReiDemon: Is this pipe too long? If so, please fix, I'm just a helpless newbie. D:

[[Image:0245-JosephWHerring98.jpg|thumb|left|Joe in real life...]]
[[Image:JoeHerring.jpg|right|thumb|right|120px|...and as Chris depicted him.]]

'''Joseph Herring''' (born December 14, 1979) was one of Chris's few male "buddies". They were water boys for the varsity basketball team at [[Manchester High School]]. Two years older, Joseph told Chris about his girlfriend. Chris consoled him when he got dumped.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> According to Chris, she gave him a "bum steer".<ref>[[:Image:0232-CWCNote3.jpg|DVD 99]]</ref>

Chris once rode in Joseph's jeep when the buses failed to turn up for one game.<ref>[[:Image:0232-CWCNote3.jpg|DVD 99]]</ref>

Joseph (later [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] as '''Joe Herr''') appears in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']] only, during a time travel storyline. Like many teens, he is depicted in the comic with a bad case of acne. It was presumed that [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]] employs the use of the [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally handicapped]] and horribly disfigured students to clean jock straps and refill water bottles. A pimply character similar to Joe appears in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] with a girlfriend, both of whom are split apart due to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s quest to [[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal in Virginia]]. It is unknown if this throwaway character is intended to be Joe. The reasons given in the comic for his breakup with his girlfriend involve an incident in a restaurant involving "spilled soup" and "tossed salad."

When high res images from the [[DVD]] slideshow were released, it was discovered that Joseph was a fairly good-looking young man that Chris drew horribly disfigured [[to make himself look good|Chris and his Ego]] in comparison.
{{-}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Herring, Joseph}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]