CWCki - User contributions [en]

Yu-Gi-Oh!

2021-09-14T00:44:14Z

Resrsc: archive

[[File:Chris-Chan's Yu-Gi-Oh Card.jpg|thumb|A TRUE and HONEST CWC-themed Monster Card.]]
[[Image:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|thumb|right|"I am STRAIGHT! STRAIGHT! Get it through your damn, dirty, immature skulls! ...and here's a drawing of me dressed as Dark Magician Girl :3"]]

'''''Yu-Gi-Oh!''''' is a Japanese manga about a boy named Yugi who, after solving an ancient artifact called the Millennium Puzzle, inherits a spirit named Yami in his body, and goes around playing a trading card game called Duel Monsters. The manga has spun off into an entire multimedia franchise, including several anime series co-produced by NAS and Studio Gallop, and an actual version of the TCG featured in the stories (produced by Konami, who sponsored the anime), which emphasize trusting in "the heart of the cards" as a key skill.

[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] is a fan of the ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' TCG, and has incorporated the use of its "spell cards" into ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. Much like his custom [[Pokémon]] cards, Chris has created dozens of homemade Yu-Gi-Oh! cards about himself and his characters.

Though his interest in the franchise has subsided in recent years, ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' will always be noteworthy in the story of Chris's life due to him meeting [[Megan Schroeder]] during a TCG match at [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[2005]].

==In ''Sonichu''==
Chris employs ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' references early on in the ''Sonichu'' series, usually to portray himself battling [[Wes Iseli]]. His ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' influence peaks in [[Episode 12]], where Chris uses his deck of cards to prevent Wes from ruining the wedding of [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah Hammer]] and [[William Spicer]]. Spicer himself is depicted as [http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20061104040054/yugioh/images/7/78/Jack'sKnightEEN-EN-R.jpg Jack's Knight], one of the characters in the cards, either because Chris couldn't draw him or didn't know what he looked like.

A side plot in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] is Chris beaming about his new friendship with [[Megan Schroeder]], whom probably accounts for his unusual fixation on the game. Though the ability to turn trading cards into real effects seemed to be pretty effective at taking down Chris's foes, he evidently lost interest in the franchise not long after, and [[Metal Sonichu|the cards vanished from that point onward without explanation]].

Chris has also drawn himself as [http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090709225705/yugioh/images/8/8c/DarkMagicianGirlDPYG-EN-SR-1E.jpg Dark Magician Girl], a female ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' character complete with hairy legs and Sonichu medallion. Whether this is an example of [[random-access humor]] or further evidence of Chris's [[Homos|sexuality issues]] remains unknown.

==Custom ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' Cards==
Chris created many custom ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards from August to September 2004, and a single one in May 2006. Some of his custom cards have effects relying on monsters being [[JERKS|male]] or [[Sweetheart|female]], such as "[[Virgin with rage|Virgin With Rage]]", "A Jerk" and "[[Attraction Sign|Girlfriend Attraction]]". This comes despite gender having no effect in official cards, rarely even being specified.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|+Monsters
|-
! Card
! Name
! Level
! Code
! Description
! Attack
! Defence
! Date
|-
| [[File:189-YuSchu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]
| 4
|
| [Beast]
A speedy [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]]. He transformed from a Pikachu after exposure to the seven Chaos Emeralds.
| 1600
| 1400
|
|-
| [[File:253-YuBchu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Blake|Black Sonichu]]
| 4
| CWC-009
| [Beast]
Blachu was cloned from Sonichu's DNA with a dose of Cherry Cola.
| 1600
| 1400
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[Image:211-YuMetonic.jpg|150px]]
| [[Metonic]]
| 6
| CWC-005
| [Beast/Warrior]
His armor adds [[Obesity|weight]], so he can't perform a spin dash. His spikes are diamond-sharp.
| 2300
| 2500
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[Image:237-YuRosechu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Rosechu]]
| 4
| CWC-004
| [Beast/Effect]
If Sonichu is face-up on your side of the field, increase attack of Sonichu and Rosechu by 500 points.
| 1500
| 1400
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[Image:218-YuUltSchu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Ultra Sonichu]]
| 10
| CWC-006
| [Beast/Effect]
Ultra Sonichu can only be Special Summoned by paying 500 life points when [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] is destroyed in battle. Then you can Special Summon this card from your hand or your deck.
| 3500
| 3000
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[File:270-YuAngelica.jpg|150px]]
| [[Angelica]] Rosechu
| 3
| CWC-016
| [Winged-Beast/Effect]
Prevent all effects of any of your opponent's spell cards to any of your face-up monsters.
| 1400
| 1000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:265-YuBubbles.jpg|150px]]
| [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubble Rosechu]]
| 3
| CWC-015
| [Aqua]
She was raised by a mother [[Pokémon|Swampert]] who taught her how to create tidal waves.
| 1200
| 1000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:126-YuCChan.jpg|150px]]
| [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]
| 5
| CWC-019
| [Beast]
His origin is unknown, but quandry [''[[Chris and English#Spelling|sic]]''] is brought up over the Sonichu-head mark on his chest.
| 2300
| 2000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:280-YuMagi.jpg|150px]]
| [[Magi-Chan]] Sonichu
| 4
| CWC-018
| [Spellcaster/Effect]
Each time your opponent activates a spell card, you may draw a card.
| 1400
| 1300
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:275-YuPunchy.jpg|150px]]
| [[Punchy Sonichu]]
| 4
| CWC-017
| [Beast-Warrior]
He was raised in a dojo in Japan, where he lost his tail in a tough battle.
| 2000
| 1000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:302-YuSahramah.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarhamah Rosechu]]
| 7
| CWC-021
| [Fairy/Effect]
For each Light monster in the graveyard, increase Sarhamah's attack by 300 points.
| 2700
| 2500
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:246-YuVamprosa.jpg|150px]]
| [[Vamprosa]]
| 5
| CWC-013
| [Beast]
Vamprosa's bite can suck the life out of her enemies. Her cape enables her to fly.
| 2000
| 1800
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:294-YuWesLi.jpg|150px]]
| [[Wes-Li]] Sonichu
| 5
| CWC-020
| [Fiend/Effect]
If [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is face-up on the field, increase Chris-chan Sonichu's attack by 500 points.
| 2300
| 2000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:260-YuWild.jpg|150px]]
| [[Wild Sonichu]]
| 4
| CWC-014
| [Beast]
With his sharp razor leaf, speed and ninja skills, and he can he can escape into the wild.
| 1500
| 1000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:106-FrustratedVirgin.jpg|150px]]
| [[Virgin With Rage]]
| 2
| CWC-024
| [Warrior/Effect]
For each [[JERKS|male monster]] on the field, increase Virgin With Rage's attack by 500 points. For each [[Sweetheart|female monster]] on the field, increase Virgin With Rage's defense by 500 points.
| 500
| 500
| August 18, 2004
|-
| [[Image:140-AJerk.jpg|150px]]
| A [[Jerk]]
| 4
| CWC-38
| [Fiend/Effect]
If your opponent attacks with a female monster, she can only attack this jerk.
| 2000
| 1500
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:152-YuCrystal.jpg|150px]]
| [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal The Female Twin]]
| 3
| CWC-37
| [Warrior]
Beautiful and strong with courage and confidence. She will help her male counterpart, Christian Weston Chandler.
| 1300
| 1800
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:142-QuizGirlfriend.jpg|150px]]
| [[Gal-pal|Girlfriend?]]
| 3
| CWC-28
| [Fiend]
Could she be the love of my life? Probably not...; I'm sure she is already paired up with some jerk.
| 1000
| 2000
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:143-MaryLeeWalsh.jpg|150px]]
| [[Mary Lee Walsh|Hslaw Eel Yram]]
| 4
| CWC-29
| [Spellcaster/Effect]
Flip. Special summon 1 DARK monster from your hand onto your side of the field.
| 1500
| 1000
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:141-JerksLoiteringLot.jpg|150px]]
| [[Jerk]]'s Loitering Lot
| 4
| CWC-39
| [Fiend/Effect]
Each time you or your opponent normal, set or Special Summons a male monster on the field, place a counter on this card (max 3). You can remove all 3 counters from this card to destroy 1 male monster on the field.
| 0
| 2000
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:223-SonichuZord2.jpg|150px]]
| [[Power Rangers|Sonichu Zord]]
| 8
| CWC-25
| [Machine]
Created by [[Dr. Eggman]] for [[Giovanni]]'s Rocket Rangers, it serves to stomp the [[Chaotic Combo]].
| 3500
| 3000
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[File:288-YuBionic.jpg|150px]]
| [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
| 4
| CWC-46
| [Beast]
Bionic is the world's greatest basketball player, and [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s long-lost brother.
| 1800
| 1300
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[File:285-YuFlame.jpg|150px]]
| [[Flame the Sunbird]]
| 4
| CWC-48
| [Winged-Beast/Effect]
Flip. Return a monster to your side of the field to your hand in order to draw 1 card from your deck.
| 2000
| 1500
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[Image:146-Jerkop.jpg|150px]]
| [[Jerkop]]
| 3
| CWC-44
| [Fiend]
This "copper" fiend wants to shatter the virgin's heart by destroying his tools for attracting a [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free woman]], just like how [[Mary Lee Walsh|Hslaw Eel Yram]] did.
| 800
| 1000
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[File:222-YuMSchu.jpg|150px]]
| [[List of Sonichu characters#Metal Sonichu|Metal Sonichu]]
| 8
| CWC-45
| [Machine]
This robot's sole purpose is to become stronger and faster to destroy [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].
| 2500
| 3000
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[Image:255-YuSilvBchu.jpg|150px]]
| Silver [[Blachu]]
| 10
| CWC-49
| [Beast/Effect]
Silver Blachu can only be Special Summoned by paying 500 Life Points when [[Black Sonichu]] is destroyed in battle. You can then special summon this card from your hand or deck.
| 3500
| 3000
| September 5, 2004
|}

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|+Spells
|-
! Card
! Name
! Code
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|150px]]
| Girlfriend Attraction
|
| Special Summon 1 female monster from your hand or deck onto your side of the field.
| August 8, 2004
|-
| [[Image:212-MetonicsSword.jpg|150px]]
| [[Metonic]]'s Sword
| CWC-008
| Only [[Metonic]] can be equiped with this card. The monster equiped with this card increases its attack by 1000 points.
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[Image:154-ApologyLetter.jpg|150px]]
| [[Mary Lee Walsh|Apology]] Letter
| CWC-011
| If your opponent has less life than you, he/she may draw 2 cards.
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:157-CityOfCwcville.jpg|150px]]
| City of [[CWCville]]
| CWC-022
| Increase the attack of all monsters on the field with Sonichu, or Rosechu, in their names by 500 points.
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:105-LonesomeSelf.jpg|150px]]
| [[Virgin with rage|Lonesome Self]]
| CWC-012
| If you only have one monster on your side of the field, you can Special Summon 1 monster from your hand.
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:226-SchuBall2.jpg|150px]]
| [[S-Chu Ball]]
| CWC-023
| Select 1 of your opponent's face-up monsters. As long as the card is face-up on the field, the select monster remains in defense position. When the selected monster is destroyed, this card is also destroyed
| August 18, 2004
|-
| [[Image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|150px]]
| [[Gal-pal|Girlfriend]]'s Gift
| CWC-33
| If your opponent has more Lifepoints, or monster on his/her side of the field, select 1 monster from either player's graveyard. Special summon that monster onto your side of the field.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:107-HookedOnSonichu2.jpg|150px]]
| Hooked on [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]
| CWC-34
| This card is used to Ritual Summon any monster with Sonichu or Rosechu in its name. You must also offer monsters from the field or your hand whose total level stars equal the level stars of the ritual monster you are attempting to Ritual Summon.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:213-MetalBoots.jpg|150px]]
| Metal Boots
| CWC-27
| The monster equiped with this card increases its defense by 500 points. The monster remains in defense position, and it can't shift into attack position.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:247-VamprosasCape.jpg|150px]]
| [[Vamprosa]]'s Cape
| CWC-26
| Only Vamprosa can be equipped with this card. The monster equipped with this card increases its defense by 1000 points.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:151-WisdomTeeth.jpg|150px]]
| [[Fangs|Wisdom Teeth]]
|CWC-31
| Increase your Life Points by 500 points for each Spell Card in your Graveyard and on your side of the field.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:108-PlanForAttraction.jpg|150px]]
| Plan for [[Attraction Location|Attraction]]
| CWC-40
| Pick up (not draw) cards from the top of your deck until a female monster is picked up. Special Summon that card onto your side of the field. Shuffle all other picked up cards back into your deck.
| August 20, 2004
|-
| [[File:296-FireshockPendant.jpg|150px]]
| Fireshock Pendant
| CWC-42
| Increase the monster's attack by 500 points. And when this monster attacks during the damage step, decrease the attack of the monster you are attacking by 500 points.
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[File:304-LightningBracelets.jpg|150px]]
| Lightning Bracelets
| CWC-43
| This card can only be equipped to [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarhamah Rosechu]]. Increase the equipped monster's attack and defense by 700 points.
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[File:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|150px]]
| [[Medallions|Sonichu Medallion]]
| CWC-41
| Increase the equipped monster's attack by 500 points. If the monster has [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] in its name, increase its attack by another 500 points.
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[Image:109-CWCSpellsCard.jpg|150px]]
| "C.W.C" Spells Quick Spells!
| CWC-51
| Discard 1 Spell Card from your hand. Add 2 Spell Cards from your Deck to your hand, shuffle your Deck afterwards.
When activating this card, announce that you will "Activate your QuickSpells with your C.W.C. Spells!"
| May 21, 2006
|}

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|+Traps
|-
! Card
! Name
! Code
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:138-CurseYeHaMeHa.jpg|150px]]
| [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha!]]
|
| Choose one of your opponent's [[JERKS|male monsters]] and destroy it. If you select a set monster, flip it over. If it is a female, she is not destroyed.
| August 9, 2004
|-
| [[Image:139-CWCsDarkGlare.jpg|150px]]
| [[The Creepy Stare|CWC's Evil Glare]]
| CWC-007
| Select 1 of your opponent's face-up monsters. Decrease that monster's attack and defense by 700 points. When the selected monster is destroyed or removed from the field, this card is also destroyed.
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[Image:145-ShatteredHeart.jpg|150px]]
| Shattered Heart
| CWC-010
| You can activate this card when your opponent attacks with one of this/her monsters. Take control of that monster, and attack another of his/her monsters, or Life Points, then the controlled monster is destroyed.
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:127-LevelBattle.jpg|150px]]
| Level Battle
| CWC-32
| You can activate this trap when your opponent attacks with his or her monster against one of your monsters. Compare each monster's number of level stars. The lower level monster is destroyed. If both stars are equal, neither monster is destroyed.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:147-LightKnife.jpg|150px]]
| Light [[Knife]]
| CWC-30
| Select 1 DARK monster on the field. That monster is destroyed.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:155-MindSwap.jpg|150px]]
| Mind Swap
| CWC-36
| Select one of your opponent's monsters, then he/she selects one of your monsters. Until the end of the turn this card was activated, each selected monster is controlled by the respected player.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:149-RandomTrick.jpg|150px]]
| [[Random-access humor|Random Trick]]
| CWC-35
| Roll a die.
*If you roll a 1 or 2, reduce opponent's attack to 0.
*If you roll a 3 or 4, switch the position of one of your monsters.
*If you roll a 5 or 6, destroy one of your opponent's monsters.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:375-ChaosEmeralds.jpg|150px]]
| 7 Chaos Emeralds
| CWC-50
| If you have [[Sonichu]] or [[Black Sonichu]] on your side of the field or in your hand, you may remove Sonichu from play to Special Summon Ultra Sonichu from your hand or deck onto your side of the field, or remove Black Sonichu from play to Special Summon Silver Blachu from the hand or your deck onto your side of the field. When this card is destroyed, [[Ultra Sonichu]] and/or Silver Blachu are destroyed and removed from play.
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[Image:148-TrapOfFear.jpg|150px]]
| Trap of Fear
| CWC-46
| You can activate this card during your opponent's Standby Phase. Your opponent mush skip to his/her End Phase for the turn this card is activated.
| September 5, 2004
|}

==Let's Play==
In [[March 2016]], [[CatKnight Interview|Arthur Spatchcock]] challenged Chris to a game of Yu-Gi-Oh! over the PS4. Spatchcock wanted to introduce Chris to the idea of doing Let's Plays to boost his online activity and help him gain some money through YouTube's monetization program.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chrischan-interview-part-4-5-3-28-16.16934/page-16#post-1317924</ref><ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/updated-6-1-2016-chris-spent-100-on-transformers-five-days-after-begging-for-money.21201/page-6#post-1496271</ref> The plan fell apart after Let's Plays of ''[[CWC's Destiny start|Destiny]]'' and ''[[Live Game Stream - Uncharted|Uncharted]]'', since by that point, Chris was [[Chris and health|too lazy]] to play video games for money, and he simply wanted to [[Financhu Crisis|beg from his audience]] instead.

Chris did not comment during the video, because he was "not in the mood", even though his mic was on and his TV audible in the background. Spatchcock tried to converse with him, but Chris ignored him.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chrischan-interview-part-4-5-3-28-16.16934/page-17#post-1318077</ref>

{{Infobox/video
| name = Yugichris
| ytid = Buh5pXTEZf0
| stardate = 12 [[March 2016]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Selling Out|text}}
| previous = [[Happy Women's Day]]
| next = [[CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary]]
}}

Spatchcock was not impressed with Chris's game strategy.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chrischan-interview-part-4-5-3-28-16.16934/page-18#post-1319296</ref>

{{quotebox|Chris was using a pre-built deck by the looks of it; it uses some weird ass summoning system where you can pretty much just keep summoning and fusing monsters over and over. Chris was doing it just to do it. No strategy, no planning, just randomly doing shit because the game prompted him to do so. Out of the found rounds we played I trounced him the first two easily...I had to dial back and let him win once I heard the stress sighing. The third round was pretty much given to him but the fourth round he actually seemed to finally have it down on how to use his cards.

This is mentioned in the fourth call but I can share it here without Chris feeling 'betrayed' but I actually bought Chris the game because I set up a wager with him. We're going to play a 2 out of 3 match; if I win Chris is supposed to draw new sonichu pages and if he wins I get him a new PS4 game. He was bragging about how he still has his old cards including Dark Magician Girl. I assume before out big match he's going to build his own deck and I can't wait to see what he comes up with. }}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg|Megan as the Dark Magician. Oddly, she seems to be dressed as Arkana's red Dark Magician from Episode 60 of the show, even though she says that she's been summoned by Yami.
Image:120-CWCSpells.jpg|[[Sonichu 5|CWC-Spells!]]
Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|Jack's Knight, some character from ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Card_games#Yu-Gi-Oh.21_TCG|''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' TCG]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Yu-Gi-Oh!|''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' Wikipedia article]]

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

You Think You're a Man

2021-09-14T00:44:10Z

Resrsc: archive

"'''You Think You're a Man'''" is the seventh track from ''[[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]'' by [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]. It is a cover of "[[Wikipedia:You Think You're a Man|You Think You're a Man]]" by [[DivineTrial|Divine]].

If this song dates back to the [[Jackie]] saga, it could be a taunt aimed at [[Lars]].

== Audio ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = You Think You're a Man
| ytid = iJIWZjGoX98
| stardate = [[November 2011]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}} {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Rebel Girl]]
| next = [[It's Raining Men]]
}}

=== Lyrics ===
Pink Flamanyoin, Divine in da house!

Man [''unintelligible''] 
Turn around, 
Take one final look at what you left behind, 
Then walk away 
From the greatest lover you have ever known, 
Just walk away, 
You're telling me that you can make it on your own, 
For yourself, all alone, without my help, 
Mister, you have made a big mist-mistake,

You think you're a man, but you're only a boy, 
You think you're a man, but you're only a toy, 
You think you're a man, but you just couldn't see 
You aren't a man enough to satisfy her.

Shut the door, 
Take a look around, tell me whatcha find. 
Shut the door, 
Take a giant step for you and all mankind, 
Then don't come back; 
I always gave you so much more than you deserved. 
Then don't come back, 
'Cause no one makes a fool of me 
You've got nerve to walk away, forgot the words I'm gonna say 
Mister, you've just made a big mistake.

You think you're a man, but you're only a boy, 
You think you're a man, you are only a toy, 
You think you're a man, but you just couldn't see, 
You weren' man enough to satisfy her.

Youthink you're a man, but you're only a boy, 
You think you're a man, you are only a toy, 
You think you're a man, but you just couldn't see, 
You weren't man-nanough to satisfy her.

Think you're a man, but you're only a boy, 
You think you're a man, you are only a toy, 
You think you're a man, just-you just couldn't see 
You weren't man enough to satisfy her.

Think you're a man, but you are onlya boy, 
You think you're a man, but you are only a toy, 
You think you're a man, but you just couldn't see, 
You weren't man-nanough to satisfy her.

{{The Tomgirls}}
[[Category:SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]
[[Category:Music]]

You're Always Pretty

2021-09-14T00:44:08Z

Resrsc: archive

'''You're Always Pretty''' (leaked as '''hyigybybbhgy.flv''') is the second video [[Barbara Chandler|Chris's mother]] has ever appeared in; she previously appeared in ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004. In the video Chris and Barb solemnly make small talk while eating junk food. Chris throws her some strangely inappropriate compliments, and it is implied that they have been fighting and not speaking to each other, although there is no clear reason as to why (though this was early in the [[Tomgirl Saga]], where Barb was still resistant to Chris's new changes. According to Chris's [[Facebook statuses|Facebook page]], it may also be because he got caught flipping the bird to a [[Jerkop]]). The video was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = You're Always Pretty
| ytid = or588dS-5kg
| stardate =
| subject = {{Other|Food}}
| style =
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Not visible
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Teenage Dream]]
| next = [[Message for John Kyle]]
}}

{{quote|See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.|A non-sequitur from Barb}}

===Transcript===
[''Barb and Chris sit at a table eating fast food from McDonald's. Chris has apparently just brought out his camera and set it down. For some reason, Barb is wearing Chris's old pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] with the blue Crayola Model Magic bridge. [[Wikipedia:Tears for Fears|Tears for Fears]]' "[[Wikipedia:Head over Heels (Tears for Fears song)|Head Over Heels]]" plays in the background.'']

'''Chris''': -Oh.

'''Barb''': [''Laughing like Jabba the Hutt'']

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Barb''': You got your digital camera?

'''Chris''': Yeah. Just a little something there. Uh...

'''Barb''': Who- who're you gonna take pictures of?

'''Chris''': Uuh...just you.

'''Barb''': Oh.

'''Chris''': 'Cause I love you.

'''Barb''': Oh, okay. [''Laughing'']

'''Chris''': Yeah... [''Pause''] Yeah...so, you having fun tonight? Aaaare we having fun right now?

'''Barb''': I'm eating.

'''Chris''': Mmm'kay...y'know, you're very pretty. You're ''always'' pretty!

'''Barb''': Thank you... See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, have no fun! Hm?

'''Chris''': What?

'''Barb''': [''Chuckles'']

'''Chris''': Yeah. The shirt I picked out from Goodwill the 'udder day. Yeah. [[Chris and music|I am free as a bird! And this bird you cannot change!]]

'''Barb''': Enjoy your food.

'''Chris''': Yes- [''turns off camera'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Teenage Dream]]|nextlink=[[Message for John Kyle]]}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Yes, it still has been I, Christine Weston Chandler, who has been uploading the videos personally.

2021-09-14T00:44:07Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Yes, it still has been I, Christine Weston Chandler, who has been uploading the videos personally.''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 15 November 2015, where he confirms to his adoring [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] that it is indeed him who is posting videos to the CwcvilleGuardian [[YouTube]] account.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Yes, it still has been I, Christine Weston Chandler, who has been uploading the videos personally.
| ytid = drUQmBq0Oe8
| stardate = 15 November 2015
| Saga = {{Selling Out|text}} {{Lady Managers|text}}
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Cwcville Shopping|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{The Happy Hag|text}}
| previous = [[Donation Options Reviewed.]]
| next = [[Black Friday Bonuses from Cwcville Shopping]]
}}

==Transcript==
Hello everyone, I'm just decided to, uh, put my face in the video this time, because I wanted to make sure that everybody knows that these videos that I have been making lately, with all my figures, they all have been coming directly from me, the creator, author, everything; so it's all good, it's just to let you know. Please enjoy the following video, right after this one.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Donation Options Reviewed.]]|nextlink=[[Black Friday Bonuses from Cwcville Shopping]]|}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2015]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Yellow Is a Mellow Color

2021-09-14T00:44:06Z

Resrsc: archive

'''"Yellow Is a Mellow Color"''' is the sixth track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''. This song is an example of Chris's [[Things Chris has ripped off|originality]], as the music is ripped off from [[wikipedia:Los del Río|Los del Río]]'s "[[wikipedia:Macarena|Macarena]]", and the title is ripped off from [[wikipedia:Donovan|Donovan]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Mellow Yellow|Mellow Yellow]]". It's one of his best-known songs because it was up for download on his [[MySpace]] profile and [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]].

Based on a November 2007 [[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|ED edit]] in which Chris furnishes "Yellow Is a Mellow Color" as an example of his "[[random-access humor]]", it is suggested that the song is intended to be humorous, but to [[Christian Weston Chandler|whom]], GodBear only knows.

It seems to be a favorite of Chris's, as he played it several times during the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]].

==Listen==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Yellow Is a Mellow Color"
| ytid = 0Rk4HLL0ZVo
| stardate = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]
| next = [[Feel So Lonesome]]
}}

===Lyrics===

[''sung over [[Wikipedia:Los del Río|Los del Río]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Macarena (song)|Macarena]]"'']

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes, it is, it's a mellow color 
[[Sonichu]] zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color, [[Slow-in-the-minds|ahh!]]

Feeling the condensation 
Living in [[CWCville|my nation]] 
Lemon makes lemonade 
Hey! Mellow color

Traveling without a map 
Is like traveling with no map 
[[Yawning Squirtle|Take a chill pill and dance]] 
Yellow is a mellow color

[''indecipherable''] ...mellow 
Hopefully they won't make him play a cello 
Somehow for Sonichu and friends 
Will zip and zap!

This [[Niggo|little monkey]], he likes to play around 
He eats a bunch of [[Pickles|bananas]] 
Never put a banana in your pajamas 
Yellow is a mellow color

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes, it is, it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color 
''(repeat 2 more times)''

==Covers==
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Yellow is a Mellow Color, cover
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XLZ5q6GazUQ}}
| stardate = 4 [[January 2012]]
| maker = [http://guwange.bandcamp.com GUWANGE]
| subject = Yellow is a Mellow Color
| type = Song Cover
| info = From the album [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]].
}}</center>

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]
[[Category:Music]]

Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"

2021-09-14T00:44:02Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"''' is a video released by [[Chris]] on 20 [[August 2011]]. It is a bizarre rap ballad to wristwatches dedicated to [[Thorg]]. Chris shows off various wristwatches in his collection and flashes his [[PSP]], [[Chris and television|TV]], and [[3DS]] with images of wristwatches on them. Despite the video being barely over a minute in length, Chris quickly gets [[Obesity|out of breath]] while singing. The [[Sailor Moon poster]] is briefly focused on. Oddly, though his [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada|previous video]] blackmailing Thorg was removed, [[Autism|he felt the need]] to tag the video with "blackmail". 11 wristwatches are featured in this video.

This video marks the debut of his "custom" 3DS, which has been fitted onto some sort of band on his wrist, acting like the PIP-Boy from the ''[[wikipedia:Fallout (video game)|Fallout]]'' franchise. As with any other device that Chris owns, the 3DS is covered in stickers, the only recognizable ones being Bumblebee from [[Transformers]] and the [[My Little Pony]] logo.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"
| ytid = yuaYqiOEB6c
| stardate = 20 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Comedy|[[Random Access Humor]]}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Calling Out Saga|text}}
| shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]
| next = [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]]
}}
{{quote|I said the wrist, wrist, I said wrist, wrist, wrist, I said the wrist, wrist, wristwatches! Wristwatches!|You get the idea}}

==Transcript==
[''Chris spends the entire duration of this video showing various devices with pictures of wristwatches on them, most notably a 3DS and a PSP attached to his wrists]''

[''brandishes an unopened Super Mario World-themed wristwatch'']

Here's a little somethin' dedicated to [[Thorg|Master Thorg]].

Wrist, wrist, I said the wrist, wrist, I said the wrist, wrist, wrist, I said the wrist, wrist, I said wrist, wrist, wrist, I said the wrist, wrist, wristwatches! Wristwatches!

Wrist, wrist, I said the wristwatches! Wristwatches! ''[pause]'' Wristwatches!

Wrist, wrist, I said the wrist, wrist, I said the WRISTWATCHES! Wristwatchesss!

[''zooms in onto a [[Sonic]] wristwatch pinned to the wall'']

Wrist, wrist, I said the wrist, wrist, I said the wristwatches! Wristwatches!

Wrist, wrist, I said the wrist, wrist, I said the wrist, wrist, I said the wrist, wrist, I said the wrist-uh, wrist, wrist, I said the wrist-uh, wrist, wristwatches! Wristwatches! Wristwatches!

Wriiiiistwatches! [''zooms in onto his 3DS and 3DS wrist charger'']

Wriist, wriist, I said the wriist, wriist, I said the wriist, wriist, I said the... [''pans over to a computer screen, the Windows 7 taskbar is clearly visible''] WISTRATCHES!

Ba-da, ba-da BOOM!

Wristwatches, for Master Thor-''[video ends]''

==Aftermath==
Despite appearing undaunted after being [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada|exposed]] by Chris, Thorg was thoroughly intimidated by this video and decided to leave the internet for good a day after it was uploaded.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]|nextlink=[[Re-Calling Ahuvia]]}}

{{Calling Out}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-20 w]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

With Apologies to Mister Resident

2021-09-14T00:43:57Z

Resrsc: archive

'''With Apologies to Mister Resident''' is a video apology made on the 16th of [[April 2018]]. In this video, Chris apologizes to a ween posing as a professor at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] he had supposedly drove insane. The ween in question made multiple videos confronting Chris the day prior, and eventually weaseled his way into getting a video/response from Chris.

It is worth noting that Mr. Resident made contact with Chris on the same date that marks Chris being banned from his class.
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = With Apologies to Mister Resident
| ytid = DpdMExo6ccE
| stardate = 16 [[April 2018]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{Pinkw-GreySleeves|text}}
| previous = [[Dick Licker; that is I.]]
| next = [[One-Hundred!]]
}}
</center>

==Description==
This actually had happened.

==Transcript==
Hello everybody this is Christine Chandler coming to you from home live again once again and today I am here to… talk about this person who has come to my attention, this whatcha call “ween”. Um, I’m here to verify personally that there was actual history with this individual, this guy is re-... legitimate, not fake, I will refer to him by his online alias, but anyway it took me a whole lot of research and recollecting, but I remembered I remembered as much detail as possible about this guy. Anyway I wrote down everything that I had typed up everything anyway typed up everything I have about so what I’ve remembered.Uh so yea, this guy was at Piedmont Virginia Community College, Mr. Shadow Resident mmm, I had taken his class in the spring semester 2001, we were reading a bunch of short stories and critiquing them. I was very misunderstood on how to critique them, and I had wrote off-tangent in my assignments and re-responses. The Mr. Resident kicked me out of his class only for a settlement to happen later where I met with him in his office to uh… complete the ass- to finish the assignments with a better understanding on… what the resource was… and it was strictly on the paperwork only. Nothing more than that happened. Anyways, so uh, I do remember one story that I- we had worked on in that class, Tuesday’s Child, which, that was a short story about a child who got to spend one day a week with their father.

Anyways, so I had to retake the course the following fall semester, but with a different professor, and I remember giving the giving Mr. Resident kind of a relation mental word association relation to Dr. Robotnik, cause his personality type reflect- was similar to that of him, and he kind of looked like him as well. Anyway he banned me from his class back on April 15th, 2001, and he did approach me a year later, I had recognized his face, and… it was still totally uncomfortable and bad blood between me and him, and he did say um, like,”‘is this still a game to you?” And I just looked away, I did not look at him at all… cause I felt intimidated and… all that. Anyway aside- Anyways so lets see aside from that… So I’ll tell y’all… tell y’all the short story about uh… what happen- what happened that day on April 15, 2001, I entered the classroom like any other day feeling neutral and well, then Mr. Resident tells me to leave the classroom, I was not welcome into his class. I picked up my bookbag and left. The door closed behind me and I was very upset and I did not know what to do with myself for the next hour or so, I went up the hallway to the part PVCC by the auditorium where they had all the long tables unfolded… and I cried and I cried and I cried my… arms folded, my head laying on the- on my arms, and just… [''Chris groans''] Anyway I eventually much later pulled out a piece of paper then I wrote what I did on there, I returned to the now empty classroom shortly after the class had finished, and I left the note with his name on it on the desk, and… I remember- and it took me a while to recall what I had written… but I think I did fairly well.

I have written something… something like…[''Chris takes a stern tone of voice''] “You made me cry. I will never forgive you.” [''He briefly pauses, for effect''] So… yeah this uh Mr. Resident upon all the retrospect I do owe you the apology, and I do humbly apologize for… having written that note to you and causing you to… fall mentally ill and go into… all that that you had gone through. But at least you ended up returning to PVCC later as far as your record could tell. Anyway so, there you go sir, that’s, there’s your apology. I hope that was satisfactory enough for you, I hope you have a good day and good rest of your life, and that uh, you’re never trolled by anyone, or doxxed. So, we’ll just leave it at that. Thank you everyone for not doxxing him… and have a good safe day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Dick Licker; that is I.]]|nextlink=[[One-Hundred!]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

Wigwam

2021-09-14T00:43:53Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Wigwam''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]]. Chris, summoning his [[Cherokian Clan|Native American]] [[racism|heritage]], pretends to smoke [[tobacky]], nearly four years after proclaiming that he would shoot every last ounce of it to [[the Moon]].<ref>[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref>

Note that actual [[Wikipedia:Cherokee people|Cherokees]] did not build [[Wikipedia:Wigwam|wigwams]], and their [[Wikipedia:Calumet (pipe)|ceremonial pipes]] do not resemble [[Wikipedia:Ballpoint pen|ballpoint pens]], but were usually made from clay or bluestone quartzite. It should also be noted that the [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|phrase]] "smoke um peace pipe" [[Things Chris has ripped off|was lifted directly from]] ''[[Futurama]]''.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Wigwam
| ytid = v_o7hXfk8h0
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Other|[[Tobacky]]}}, {{Other|[[Hypocrisy]]}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlueShirt|text}}
| previous = [[PlayingHouse]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut1|DayOut1]]
}}
{{quote|[[Chris and anger|Find inner peace.]]}}
=== Transcript ===
[[File:CWC Pipe Stem with black ink.jpg|thumb|100px|A five-pack of CWC-brand tobacky.]]
[''Chris makes weird noises, takes a puff from a ballpoint pen attached to what appears to be either a folded Post-It note or a small sack, makes more weird noises, then hands it to the viewer.'']

[''In a stereotypical [[Cherokian Clan|Native American]] accent''] Here, smoke um [[Wikipedia:Calumet (pipe)|peace pipe]], find inner peace.
{{clear}}

==Sources==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[PlayingHouse]]|nextlink=[[DayOut]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category: Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25 c]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25 c]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25 c]]

WelcometoBollywood

2021-09-14T00:43:45Z

Resrsc: archive

'''WelcometoBollywood''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris performs [[Wikipedia:Bollywood|Bollywood]] [[Wikipedia:belly dancing|belly dancing]], clad in his [[Plush breasts|padded-out]] white [[muscle bra]], to the tune of "[[Wikipedia:Kajra Re|Kajra Re]]"<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DovUEruZ2q4&t=0m33s Kajra Re]</ref>, from the [[2005]]'s ''[[Wikipedia:Bunty Aur Babli|Bunty Aur Babli]]''. He attempts to mimic Aishwarya Rai's actions, but like all his endeavors, does it poorly and betrays a fantastic lack of preparation. He appears to be watching the film as he dances.

It is unknown how Chris can dance around in place for nearly 7 minutes, yet is incapable of even holding onto a bar to do [[pull-up]]s. Either that, or he simply used several thinly-disgused jump cuts to hide his inability to exercise.

In [[September 2015]], Chris revealed that he was taking lessons in belly-dancing.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = WelcometoBollywood
| ytid = JXdtUGB8-q8
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Dancing}} {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{Cwcbra2|text}}
| previous = [[SpaghettiRoutine]]
| next = [[Book10Replacement]]
}}

{{quote|You're lovin' this, aren'tcha Jack-IE!}}

=== Transcript ===
''[Chris turns on "Kajra Re", then dances in circles for 3 and a half minutes.]''

You're lovin' this, aren'tcha Jack-IE!

''[Chris continues to dance in a circle for another 4 minutes.]''

''[At 5:00, Chris claps off-beat]''

''[Chris turns off the Indian music.]''

==Sources==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[SpaghettiRoutine]]|nextlink=[[Book10Replacement]]}}

{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 c]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 c]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 c]]

Welcome to the LGBTQ Group, Julia

2021-09-14T00:43:43Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Welcome to the LGBTQ Group, Julia''' is a video created by [[Christian|Chris]] on 2/16/2016.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Welcome to the LGBTQ Group, Julia
| ytid = vUrqiG6UiLE
| stardate = 16 [[February 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Cwcville Shopping|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{thepromoter|text}}
| saga = {{Selling Out|text}}
| previous = [[Apologies for offending people]]
| next = [[Update 02/16/2016]]
}}
{{quote|Good luck on your transition very much}}

==Description==
{{quotebox|
via YouTube Capture}}

== Transcript ==

'''Loud music is playing, dominant over Chris's voice.'''

Hello, everybody! This here's a special video going out to.. Julia. Friend of a friend who.. (''??'') ... suggested I do this video but anyway. So, Julia! I understand you're be- you're coming- ma- you're come, you're transitioning, coming out as a lesbian transwoman. Good for you. Anyway. Yeah. (''?'') wishes you a good luck on your transition very much. And from me, I say: welcome to the group! Huh? The group. ''The'' group! Of us: the LGBTQ! Good luck with that. And have a great and safe day. Julia.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Apologies for offending people]]|nextlink=[[Update 02/16/2016]]}}

{{BusinessList}}
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

WeighIn

2021-09-14T00:43:42Z

Resrsc: archive

'''WeighIn''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris, to the surprise of us all, steps on a scale to weigh himself. The scale gives a weight of 216 lb (15 st 6 lb / 98 kg). There is some speculation as to whether or not Chris offset the scale, but in any case, it didn't do any good; based on [[Wikipedia:Body mass index|BMI]], this weight implies that he is [[obesity|obese]] for a man of even his claimed height (5'10" / 178 cm).<ref>Chris claims to be 5'10" on his [[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics|dating]] [[Match.com#SonichuCWC_profile_text|profiles]], although considering how he lies about his other physical attributes and [http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/ men in general are dishonest about their height], he's probably shorter. His BMI can be calculated [http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi_scripts/bmi_udaim.pl?htf=5&hti=10&wt=216&scale=english&submit_e=Submit on this website].</ref> Admittedly, BMI is a flawed metric, which doesn't take into account muscle mass or build, but in any case Chris has [[Power|almost]] [[I AM STRONG|no]] [[11042009 51 50|muscles]] and has quite a thin build.

It is also revealed that Chris is wearing blue Crayola Model Magic around the bridge of his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]].

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = WeighIn
| ytid = rEmkL3EKZeM
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlueShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#At_Least_My_Face_Is_Not_F3c7ing_Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange]]
| next = [[FullHouse]]
}}
{{quote|Currently I'm 216 pounds.}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Towelrack.jpg|thumb|200px|One explanation as to why Chris weighs less than 300 lbs.]]
Here is the official weigh-in on Sunday, September twenty- [[October 2010|October 24th 2010]].

[''Aims camera, jerkily, at scale readout.'']

If I can stay still long enough.

Hmmm.

Anyway it says 216.

[''Speaks into the camera again. His [[glasses]] are now on his face and the bridge appears to be wrapped in tape.'']

Currently I'm 216 pounds.

== See also ==
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Chris and health]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Power videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DayOut]]|nextlink=[[FullHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25 e]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25 e]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25 e]]

We need immediate funds, please

2021-09-14T00:43:40Z

Resrsc: archive

'''We need immediate funds, please''' is Barb's seventh appearance during the [[Financhu Crisis]]. In this video, Barb is wearing two expensive necklaces, including the [[$400 gold necklace]], while staring into space, using all of her strength and energy to form a sentence for the camera. [[Minor Update, Handouts!|Two weeks earlier ]], Chris made a video claiming she needed meal replacement shakes, and Barb claimed they needed money for food. The fact that she asked for food twice within such a small time period suggests that the Chandler's financial situation is worsening.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = We need immediate funds, please
| ytid = LGddWmLBczs
| stardate = 16 [[June 2017]]
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[CLog 06142017]]
| next = [[CLog 06232017]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|Please, help us by donating $10, minimum, directly to my PayPal. http://www.paypal.me/CwcvilleGuardian/10. Thank you.}}

===Transcript===
[''Barb [[creepy stare|stares creepily]] at the camera'']

'''Chris:''' -tion!

'''Barb:''' We are in need of donations for food. [''four second pause while Barb continues staring''] Please... [''six second pause''] consider us. [''another four second pause''] Thank you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CLog 06142017]]|nextlink=[[CLog 06232017]]}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2017]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

War Paint Video

2021-09-14T00:43:33Z

Resrsc: archive

{{Honest}}
[[Image:Megatron pistol.jpg|thumb|A traditional [[Megatron pistol|weapon]] of the [[Cherokian Clan]]]]

The '''War Paint Video''' (officially titled '''10142009''', not be confused with [[Challenge for Clyde II|another video with same title and posted the same day]]) is a video in which [[Chris]] delivers some sort of poem to the [[trolls]] while wearing "Amerindian" face paint. He then proclaims his proud [[Cherokee]] heritage while at the same time showing a complete [[honor roll|lack of knowledge]] about anything to do with Native American culture by [[Chris and race|repeating tired old Native American stereotypes]].

Also, if one looks close enough, the outline of Chris's [[muscle bra]] is visible through his shirt. There is also a set of [[Plush Breasts]] in the lower left corner of the frame (they are more easily seen in the later [[Brutal Legend]] video).

In July 10, 2015, This video was shown on the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBC7EMkQzzI Drunken Peasants Podcast].

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = War Paint Video
| ytid = 7R66MxmxinU
| stardate = 14 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{WhiteTShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Challenge for Clyde II]]
| next = [[15 October 2009]]
}}

{{quote|AIYAIYAIYAIYAIYAIYAI!}}

=== Transcript ===
[''drops [[PS3]] controller; it thunks twice''] Calling all trolls! Calling all trolls! You are at-WE are at war! This is war! I will not stand idly by while you [[Chris and English|take heed]] and mock and [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] [[Gal-pals|my friends]] and [[Borb|my family]]. For [[Chris and reality|you have dishonored me]], and I will not stand for it! As I stand upon my native Cherokee heritage, I will-[[Death threats|I will hunt you down you damn dirty trolls!]] This is war. [''throws up [[Claw of Fail|two Claws of Fail]] as he loudly yells''] '''AIYAIYAIYAIYAIYAIYAI'''-'''''[[Homos|YAAAAAOIIII!]]'''''

[''produces the [[Megatron pistol]] seen in [[CWC is Angry]] from behind his back, and brandishes it at the camera in his right hand''] [[Chris and English|Put down your wares and bring yourselves unto me]]. I will hun-or I will hunt you down and really smite thee! [''picks up the PS3 controller again in his left hand''] You have been warned with the Cherokee ancestry.

[[Wikipedia:How (greeting)|How]].

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = How Could You, Chris?
| ytid = hiiMeui27Qg
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/OhhhMyAxels OhhhMyAxels]
| stardate = 15 [[October 2009]]
}}

==See also==
*[[Cherokian Clan]]
*[[ECV 00001]]
*[[Cherokean Chant]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Challenge for Clyde II]]|nextlink=[[15 October 2009]]|}}
{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-14]]

Walking to the post office

2021-09-14T00:43:28Z

Resrsc: archive

[[File:Chris's route.jpeg|thumb|350px|Chris actually getting some exercise.]] On 30 July 2018, Chris tweeted a series of videos of himself walking to his local post office.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1024067176251228160</ref> He requested his true and loyal fanbase to edit them together in a compliation to the song “[[Wikipedia:I'm Walkin'|I’m Walkin’]]” by [[Niggos|Fats Domino]]. Using landmarks and street signs in Chris's videos, the exact walking route he took can reasonably be inferred. The entire trek was nearly three hours long as Chris walked 8 miles [12.9 km] to and from his destination.

According to his Fitbit, Chris accumulated 23,000 steps on this day. If true, it means he had walked just under 11 miles (18 km)<ref>https://www.convertunits.com/from/steps/to/miles</ref> in total—which is quite possibly the [[Chris and health#Exercise|most exercise]] Chris has gotten in his entire life. Though Chris was visibly tired by the time he reached the post office, this remains a rare example of where the fatigue from such exertion is actually warranted, a far cry from Chris’s struggles to run more than a few tens of metres at a time in the filming of [[Sonichu's Edge]] several years prior.

<center>
[[File:Junction of Spring Hill and Cedar Grove.jpeg|thumb|100px|Junction of Spring Hill and Cedar Grove.]]
[[File:Chris's Fitbit.png|thumb|100px|Chris's Fitbit displaying his step count.]]
</center>

==Walking to the post office==
Notably, Chris smugly scoffs at drivers for not being able to appreciate the overgrown roadside like he can by walking (as opposed to driving); referring to them as "[[Hypocrisy|spoiled children]]". Chris finds a run-over stray dog, referring to it as "Street Pizza". Chris also points out the garage where he dropped off [[Son-Chu]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan Walking
| ytid = Jxg3epD0CkU
| stardate = 30 [[July 2018]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = BronyCon Shirt
| previous = [[Waiting for the tow truck]]
| next = [[Walking to the post office#Chris at the post office|Chris at the post office]]
}}

===Transcript===

0:00 - 0:16
[''Singing''] I'm walkin'. Yes indeed I'm walkin'. By you and me, I'm walkin.
Na-na-na na na na na na, dada-bum bada-bum bada-bum bada-bum.
I'm walkin'. Yes indeed I'm walkin.' By you and me, I'm walkin.
Na-na-na na na na na na! [''Chris exhales sharply.'']

0:28 - 2:09
[''Numerous short clips of Chris walking on a pavement through various locales, including along a quiet main road, a suburban neigbourhood and on a grass verge next to light traffic. Chris belches at numerous points along the way.'']

2:09
"Still walkin'."

2:09 - 4:11
[''Chris continues on his way, with a sequence of short clips showing him walking across the entrance to a small strip mall's parking lot, then on to a verge next to a busy intersection. Chris then begins walking down the side of another quiet main road.'']

4:11 - 4:17
"Walkin', you get to enjoy the scenery more than just drivin' on by. Spoiled children."

4:17 - 5:59
[''Chris continues walking along the main road, looking reasonably smug and surprisingly not winded. A jumpcut reveals that he's now walking along [[wikipedia:U.S. Route 29 in Virginia|U.S. Route 29]], which in this section is a 4-lane dual carriageway with a median strip in the middle. Chris seems to be walking quite close to the edge of the road, as oncoming traffic appears to be uncomfortably close to his position next to the verge. He then proceeds to film the traffic for a while as he begins to approach a crossroads with a vehicle repair workshop visible nearby. He stops at the turning, then turns around to find that he just walked past a dog that had been killed by a car and thrown into the verge.'']

5:59
"Hey lil' doggy." [''Groan'']

5:59 - 6:13
[''Chris moves on, walking past the crossroads, but then hesitates and begins walking back towards the carcass.'']

6:13 - 6:45
"Hmm. Did that thing have a tag I wonder? Okay I'm just checkin' at the neck... Doesn't have a tag."
[''Chris turns back to his original route, and resumes walking.'']

[''Groan''] ..."Poor little animals just get turned in to Street Pizza. [''Points camera towards the workshop''] And that's where my car's been hangin' out thar. While the radiator had a ''hole'' in it!"

6:45 - 7:00
[''Jumpcut to Chris holding the camera to face him. The sky is now overcast, and it's starting to rain.'']
"I'm singin' in the rain, just singin' in the rain. What a glorious feeling and I'm haaappy again. Yaaaay!!!"

7:00 - 7:15
[''Jumpcut. The rain is heavier, audible in the background and puddles are visible on the surface of the road, but Chris doesn't seem to mind too much.]
"It's raining, it's pouring, I'm enjoying it! In my face! In my faaaace! Yay!!"

==Chris at the post office==
Chris, though high-spirited, appears tired with heavy bags under his eyes, having finally arrived at the post office. He apparently mails out fan merchandise and picks up a package for himself.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan (Post Office)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YkDZiaoWpJI}}
| stardate = 30 [[July 2018]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}, {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = BronyCon Shirt
| previous = [[Walking to the post office#Walking to the post office|Walking to the post office]]
| next = [[Walking to the post office#Walking back|Walking back]]
}}

===Transcript===

Hey everybody, guess what. I made it to the post office at the quarter at the four. Pm! It started raining when I was about half way through, but I made it. I'm wet, I'm alive, ima enjoyin' the hi-drayson.

[''Chris goes about adjusting his Sonichu medallion, before awkwardly falling silent for a brief moment'']

So, I'm shippin' a bunch of autographed photos out and I got a 'portan’ package ta pick up.

'''Note:'''
At the time of this videos upload to twitter,
Chris was selling “self-designed Autograph Cards” on Ebay for the “low price” of $24.99 with autograph, or $9.99 for just the card with no autograph.

There was also a unique “CHASE VARIANT” of the card for $50:00 in which Chris references “the pickle” and something Chris calls “BadBear”, which sold earlier that same day.

It is likely this is what Chris was bringing to the post office.

==Walking back==
Two brief videos of Chris walking back home.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan Home 07302018
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MTYVG33Xres}}
| stardate = 30 [[July 2018]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}, {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = BronyCon Shirt
| previous = [[Walking to the post office#Chris at the post office|Chris at the post office]]
| next = [[Walking to the post office#Chris is back home|Chris is back home]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris leaves the post office parking lot, then begins walking along the edge of a now-busy main road while singing'']

Gray skies are gonna clear up... Put on a happy face.

[''Unintelligible''] you and look around... Put on a happy face.

Walkin' my way back home. Du du du du du.

Gonna get bananas and cookies at the grocery. Bapada beep boop!

[''Jump cut, Chris films some cars on the highway'']

==Chris is back home==
Chris returns triumphantly home. Lauding his accomplishment of this mild athletic feat, he buoyantly shows off his damaged shoes, then reminisces about his time at [[BronyCon]]. Chris concludes with some boasting of his endurance.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan Home 07302018
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0KGtyrrT7mQ}}
| stardate = 30 [[July 2018]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}, {{Convention|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = BronyCon Shirt
| previous = [[Walking to the post office#Walking back|Walking back]]
| next = [[Shoe Colouring#Intro|Intro to Shoe Colouring]]
}}
{{quote|They've seen extensive walking and running... Oh yeah! So these will go down in history|In reference to his disgusting, worn-out shoes}}

===Transcript===
Hey, everybody I ''juuuust'' made it ''hoooooome''. I walked every single step. Though I stopped at Taco Bell for a... little fo- little edibles. A little filling. A little good stuff. But, anyway, I walked the entire 2+ mileeeeees. Ooh, let's check my FitBit. Da-da-da da da-da!

[''jitters camera around before pointing at his watch'']

Whoo! 23,000! [''chuckles'']

Yep. Anyway, it'll be worth it to definitely- when I get to walk up to the... [''smiles creepily''] garage which is not far from here, pick up my car soon. Hmm... Actually, I have something else. I have this bag, uh, pair of shoes here that I was going to wear to the Grand Gallopin' Gala but these were the things that, like, "Sorry, it's against the dress code". It's not even cosplay? I had cosplay. I mean, I had frillings, and horn, and ears, and my cutie mark... And also, I'm definitely going to be using part of the recent donations to get a new pair of shoes, 'cause my right shoe... [''pan to his shoe which is falling apart'']

Look at that. Look at that. [''pan back to Chris''] But these shoes are gonna be legendary because... they've been on my- off and on my feet for months, they've seen extensive walking and running... Oh yeah! So these will go down in history along with the iconic shirts and my Vinyl Scratch skirt. I don't necessarily have a pair of jeans picked out for it, but it's like, I have plenty of pairs of jeans on that and it's the complete set so this is like... One, two, three pieces of a complete outfit. The complete ensemble for legendary status. So take from that what you will, it's all... AWESOME AS WE WANNA BE! And I will definitely be wearing my backup pair of shoes here for when I take my walk to pick up my car later. But, aside from that, I do thank y'all so much for... donating to help me in this ''emergency situation''. And... ya... The [[money]] will be spent... to pay for the car... as well. That's all very good. I'm not cheating anyone! Everyone should know that by now! I'm direct, I'm [[Honest content|honest]], I'm sincerely [[Chris and kindness|kind]], I'm awesome to hang out with... OK? [''blows into his hand'']

I'll be taking a [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|shower]] in a little while. III'm only a ''little'' bit tired. It's like, I could go on for a while longer than now. ''YAAAAAAAAAAY''!! Alright, so, thank y'all for your continued support... I'll talk to y'all later.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Waiting for the tow truck]]|nextlink=[[Shoe Colouring]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to Twitter]]
{{Power videos}}
{{Health}}

== Sources ==
<references/>

Waiting for the tow truck

2021-09-14T00:43:25Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Waiting for the tow truck''' is a video Chris posted to Twitter on 29 [[July 2018]]. The car he had driven to [[BronyCon]], his [[mother]]'s Dodge Caravan, broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, while he was on his way home.

After attempting to start the car, to no avail, Chris took to Twitter and also messaged [[The Captain]] for help. Since Chris had spent his bank account down to its last $20 at BronyCon, he could not afford a tow truck. The Captain assisted Chris by telling him to contact his car insurance company and then logging into Chris's Twitter to deliver a message on his behalf asking people to donate so Chris could make it home<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-692#post-3614305</ref>.

Within minutes, Chris received $100 in donations<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/7-29-chris-stranded-at-gas-station.46038/page-2#post-3612253</ref>, and in conjunction with the insurance, was able to pay for the tow back home.

Obnoxiously, the next morning, Chris thought it appropriate to brag about how he has two phone numbers<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1023986856525029382</ref> while also revealing that he owns a "Muse: the Brain Sensing Headband"<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1023987424945426432</ref> (cost of which is $200).

==Tweets==

At 9:48 pm.

{{quotebox|I'm stuck at a Sheetz along 29 North; darn ignition won't turn with the key. I looked up for troubleshooting on my phone; "Tap the key while it's in the ignition", a website said. Nope. More than a hundred tries reached; no turn. I don't like this 2002 Dodge Caravan. Ugh!}}

A fan asked:

{{quoteboxgreen|Have you tried moving the steering wheel some? My old car wouldn't let me turn the key if it was in one spot.}}

Chris answered:

{{quotebox|Did; no key turn. I'd call a tow truck, but now I have less than $20 between the bank accounts and PayPal.}}

The Captain then signed in:

{{quoteboxorange|Chris-Chan has authorized me to use their Twitter account to post a status update. They are currently stranded at a Sheetz along 29 North several hours from home. They have less than $20 in their checking account. Their insurance company is paying for $100 worth of the towing bill but they still need an additional $100 to tow their car out of pocket. Still no word on if a rental car or hotel will be covered. If you have it in your heart please drop a little bit of money into their PayPal - ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com. Thank you.}}

{{quoteboxorange|[[File:CWC stranded at Sheetz.jpg|200px|right]]

Designated representative - Chris-Chan asked me to post this pic to show the truthfulness of the situation. Donations may be sent to ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com. Chris Chan will figure some way to show their appreciation (drawing perhaps) once this is over. On phone w/ State Farm.}}

{{quoteboxorange|This is the Sheetz they are stranded at. [REDACTED] Any help appreciated.}}

{{quoteboxorange|Update: A tow truck coming to pick up and drop them along with the van home. Barb isn't angry and is actually sorry and praying for Chris Chan's safe trip home. The Sheetz received a couple phone calls claiming Chris Chan was BEGGING instead of being stranded - good try, jerks.}}

Eventually, Chris made it home, tweeting:

{{quotebox|Home Safe ✅, and Bonus! Cleaned Bedroom ✅ My mother did a good service this weekend. 😊}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Waiting for the tow truck
| ytid = v-2JrzVvTEU
| stardate = 29 [[July 2018]]
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}, {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[BronyCon 2018#Waiting for Tabitha|Waiting for Tabitha]]
| next = [[Walking to the post office]]
}}

===Transcript===
Yep, this is me. Killing time. Waiting for the tow truck. It'll be here in less than an hour, and what am I doing?

[''Singing in a falsetto voice''] I'm walkin'. I'm walkin'! I'm walkin'! I'm walkin', walkin', walkin'! Around the van! Around and around the van! If you want to loop this and make a GIF, go right ahead, it's okay! We're just making a [''Uninteligible''] GIF, of going around a freakin' van! The van! The van! The van, the van, the van! The van! The van! It was the plan! Yay!

==Sources==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[BronyCon 2018#Waiting for Tabitha|Waiting for Tabitha]]|nextlink=[[Walking to the post office]]}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to Twitter]]

WTJU Marathon

2021-09-14T00:43:23Z

Resrsc: archive

{{DeadLinks}}
{{VideoWithContentID}}
[[File:WTJU Jazz MARATHON omot.jpg|thumb|right|[[Chris]]'s cover to the album, [[Autism|predictably]] featuring [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].]]

The '''WTJU Jazz Marathon''' was a marathon that [[Bob Chandler]] helped to host in [[1990]]. Over the course of this marathon, Bob shows an impressive amount of knowledge about jazz [[music]] in the 1920s and 1930s. Also notable is Bob's use of the word "negro" to describe African-American musicians and their music, Bob's droning on about jazz history for minutes at at a time, and the general lack of interest that the audience and the other DJs have in Bob's program, as shown by the lack of donation calls that are made over the course of the show.

Chris first mentioned the marathon in [[DayOut#At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange]] in October 2010, albeit misremembering the date as 1989. In [[December 2012]], he put up the marathon on RapidShare (after which it was luckily archived to [[YouTube]], as RapidShare was shut down a few years later, however the video for disc four was blocked on copyright grounds), and it remained the most notable thing Chris has done about his dad ever since Bob's death until [[2017]], when he [[CLog 09042017 - Mister C|read out]] several [[Bob's Letters to Chris|letters]] Bob had written for him prior to his death

==Transcript==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon Disc 2 Out Of 6
| ytid = jn19ZFhN97E
| stardate = [[1990]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
}}

'''Timiny''': K, you're listening to the WTJU jazz marathon for 1990, my name is Timiny (sp.?), I'm here in the studio with Bob Chandler, who's prepared an excellent show for us today, of music including jugs, kazoos and washboards. Some really dynamite stuff from between-made between 1928 and 1934. So I'm gonna go ahead and turn the mic over to Bob and I wanna urge everybody in the audience to make a pledge for support of community radio here in [[Charlottesville, Virginia]]. The numbers down here to make a pledge are 924-3418 and 924-3959. And Bob, if you'd be so kind, tell us about this music you're about to play for us.

'''Bob''': OK, this is jazzy jugs, kazoos and washboards. It's a style of American jazz that's been far too long overlooked. The musical is a jug, a bottle or even a pipe will serve as well. The hat spitting, and vocalizing into the player can produce a brooding, resonant sound. Not dissimilar to that of a tuba or a string bass. Larger glass vessels and earthenware demijohns does produce a full boom. The player may alter the sound by blowing into the jug at different angles. Singers who like to vocalize through a kazoo, a submarine-like look-like toy that imparts a buzzing sound to the vocal sound similar to that of a comb and paper. One who would want to give it more volume might add an oral funnel, which gives it direction, and carries it further. Another related domestic item, the corrugated washboard, a rubbing board, gave rise to the noted rubbing sounds of the washer window. Its surface gives a staccato beat on a board or similar implement is drawn across the washboards, and its potential as a rhythm instrument was not missed. The players often wore metal thimbles on his fingers to obtain a crisp, rattling sound, more satisfying to the Blues era than the drums were. Cowbells, wood blocks, pans, wire brushes, wooden rods, and other embellishments were added to create excitement and tone color for the rhythmic beat of the music. So here they are, fifteen obscure performances, from 1928 to 1934. Performance number one, is "Farewell Blues", August the 17th, 1934, New York Personnel, The Georgia Washboard Stompers. Chick Webb is the celebrated trumpeter, Taft Jordan is the star of the session, surrounded by saxophonists Dave Page, Ben Smith and Carl Wade. Clarence Prophet is at the piano, Steve Washington is doubling banjo and guitar, Ghost Howell is on the bass, and Jake Fenderson is on the washboard, makes this performance really swing! You listen for good breaks by all the personnel in the band, and good, good rhythm by Fenderson on the washboard.

[''"[[Wikipedia:Farewell Blues|Farewell Blues]]" plays'']

'''Bob''': Okay, now we goin' on performance number two, which is Tight Like That. This is November the 9th, 1928 with Chicago Personnel, Tampa Red's Hokum Jug Band. It's a great group of Chicago musicians featuring kazoo, guitar and jug by Hudson Whittaker. Tampa Red's guitar, Thomas A. Dorsey's on the piano and the washboard, Frankie "Half Pint" Jax on vocals interact to make this a great session. Listen for some very good kazoo and jugs, and notice how Half Pint Jaxon laughs like scat singing. Very unusual.

[''"It's Tight Like That" plays'']

'''Bob''': Okay, now we goin' performance number three. Barrelhouse Stomp, which was done March 13th, 1931. Again with Chicago people, the State Street Ramblers. Alfred Bell is singing and strumming washboard, as well as playing the kazoo, Roy Palmer is on trombone, Darryl Howard of New Orleans is on clarinet, Jimmy Blythe, the great Jimmy Blythe is on piano, and Ed Hudson on banjo. The talking is by Alfred Bell. You listen for Howard's clarinet feature, kazoo takes the place of the trumpet throughout so if you think you hear a trumpet, you're not hearing a trumpet, you're hearing a kazoo. [''light laugh''] Very good washboard and kazoo. Notice how the trombone takes the place of the jug and string bass when the kazoo takes the lead.

[''"Barrelhouse Stomp" plays'']

'''Bob''': OK, the next one is "Forty and Tight". This was recorded on July 24th, 1929 by Chicago personnel, The Beale Street Washboard Band. The legendary Johnny Dodds is on clarinet, Herb Moran is on cornet, Frank Melrose is on piano, and Warren "Baby" Dodds is on washboard. Now, this is unusual because you normally hear him on drums. The teaming of the Dodds brothers when they were at their best. You listen for Baby Dodds, who's not often on the washboard, and very good interplay between the personnel, and each individual instrument of the group can be heard at any time, even if they're all playing at once. I feel this is very unselfish, and if they weren't so good, they wouldn't even try to overplay the other.

[''"Forty and Tight" plays'']

'''Timiny''': The Dodds brothers...hot stuff, huh? I'd like to remind you, you're listening to the 1990 Jazz Marathon. We're on the air to entertain you and also to elicit your support for community radio here in Charlottesville, Virginia. All of this music is, of course, a type that you never hear anywhere else, er, probably you've never heard anything like this in your lives, but you have to admit this is really hot jazz. We have a lot more ahead of us, um, Bob's got a whole bunch of tunes lined up. We'd like to hear the phones ring down here, it's sorta like the calm before the storm. The game isn't over yet, and there aren't too many people..active and alive, but we know you're out there, so before everything gets hot, give us a call down here, 924-3418, 924-3959, and support WTJU, so I'll turn the mic over to Bob.

'''Bob''': This is performance number five coming up. "Sweet Lizzie" was done on October 27, 1930 by Chicago personnel again, and it was called James Cole's Washboard Band. A sizzling fiddle, of all things, by James Cole, and he's backed up by Eddie Dennis, mandolin, washboard and kazoo, Tony Bradley on guitar, you listen for the sizzling fiddle by James Cole, and good rhythm by Bradley on guitar, and the kazoos and the washboards, [''laughs''], they just can't be, undercut cuz they're great.

[''"Sweet Lizzie" plays'']

'''Bob''': And can you imagine, that that was all done with a violin, a mandolin, a kazoo and a washboard? It-it's just amazing. The next performance is known as "Crazy Blues". It was done on October the 3rd, 1934, in New York, by the Alabama Jug Band. Now, [''laughs''], this-this name and the people don't seem to go together but, uh, at any rate, it-it spots the eccentric cigar chewin' Willie "The Lion" Smith on piano, and includes Ed Allen's cornet, Cecil Scott's clarinet, Ikey Robinson on banjo, Cyrus St. Clair on bass, Clarence Todd on kazoo, Floyd Casey on washboard, and Clarence Williams blowing zany, highly emotional notes into his jug. It also adds a Ham and Cabbage Trio composed of Williams, Robinson and Todd. Listen for some great jug by Williams, and very interesting washboard by Floyd Casey, which sounds almost like brushes on a snare drum.

[''"[[Wikipedia:Crazy Blues|Crazy Blues]]" plays'']

'''Bob''': That, that jug by Williams just carries me away, I'm telling you. (Laughs) The next performance is "Tiger Rag". It was done on October the 17th, 1934, again by New York personnel. They were called the Georgia Washboard Stompers. This is Chick Webb's celebrated trumpeter Taft Jordan, is the star of this session. He's surrounded by saxophonists Dave Page, Ben Smith and Carl Wade. Clarence Prophet is at the piano, Steve Washington is doubling banjo and guitar, Ghost Howell is on bass, and Jake Fenderson is on washboard, making this performance really swing. Listen for tremendous washboards, pots and pans by Jake Fenderson, great string bass by Ghost Howell and notice the exciting syncopation and hesitation of Taft Jordan on trumpet.

[''"[[Wikipedia:Tiger Rag|Tiger Rag]]" plays'']

'''Timiny''': Before we get on with the music, I'd like to tell you that you're listening to the jazz marathon, and we're doing this programming for the purpose of eliciting support from the public for continued jazz programming in Charlottesville, and we'd like to hear the phones ring down here, it's been very, very quiet, I know there's a lot going on, but I also know there's a lot of people who haven't yet made a pledge to help us out with our operations for the next year, and, if you will listen to WTJU regularly, and a lot of people do, it's time now to get out your checkbook and be a little generous with the music that we like and enjoy so much. Okay, I'm going to turn the mic over to Bob for more kazoos and washboards and jugs.

'''Bob''': K, this next performance is "Shake Your Shimmy". It was done on October the 9th, 1928 by Chicago personnel, a group called The Midnight Rounders. And this group was known by several other names too, but it was basically headed up by Jimmy Blythe on piano, William Lyle on bass, Jimmy Bertrand on washboard and woodblocks and Frankie Jackson on vocal. Listen for great washboard and woodblocks by Jimmy Bertrand, and good performances from Blythe and Lyle. Just listen to each player and you just see, boy, they're really having a lot of fun.

[''"Shake Your Shimmy" plays'']

'''Bob''': OK, now we'll go back to New York personnel on this cut, and they're playing a song called "Jazz It Blues", which was done October the 3rd 1934 again by the Alabama Jug Band, and we have the eccentric cigar chewing Willie "The Lion" Smith on piano, Ed Allen's cornet, Cecil Scott's clarinet, Ikey Robinson on banjo, Cyrus St. Clair on bass, Clarence Todd is on kazoo this time, Floyd Casey's on washboard, and Clarence Todd doubles by blowing zany, high emotional notes into his jug. We again have the Ham and Cabbage Vocal Trio of Williams and Robinson and Todd. On this one you should listen for an outstanding recording, listen to the notes of the various pitches that come from the jugs that William is blowing into it. I understand you can change the pitch by the angle at which you blow into the jug, and the, uh, intensity at which you blow it. Uh, everybody takes a solo in this one, and there's great interaction between the players. The trio does scat singing and I myself in 60 years have never heard a growl clarinet before, but Cecil Scott does it on this one, and it's just amazing.

[''"Jazz It Blues" plays'']

'''Bob''': Well, that was just a, just a foot tappin', knee slappin' performance there, I tell you. (Laughs). That's just about as good a jazz you can find anywhere. The next performance is done by Chicago people, it's called "Pleasure Mad". It was done on April 23rd, 1928, by the Blythe Blue Boys. Now this again is Jimmy Blythe on piano, Natty Dominique on cornet, and we have unknown alto sax, W.E. Burton's on the washboards and vocal comments, and on this one you can listen for a great Jimmy Blythe piano break, and all the fun that these boys have.

[''"Pleasure Mad" plays'']

'''Bob''': They-They sure are having fun. (Laughs) That's just infectuous (sic). The next performance is "Wildman Stomp", which was done March the 30th, 1931 by Chicago personnel, and it's the State Street Ramblers again. It again has Jimmy Blythe on piano, Ed Hudson on banjo, Alfred Bell on kazoo and washboard. And you listen for a great kazoo solo by Alfred Bell, and a vocal comment by Bell, and what jazz can be made with just a piano, a kazoo, a banjo and a washboard. Wow, what fun they all having.

[''"Wildman Stomp" plays'']

'''Bob''': This next one is again by New York personnel, the Alabama Jug Band, that we've heard before. Uh, the name of the song is "My Gal Sal", and it was recorded on September the 5th, 1934. Again, we have the cigar chewin' Willie "The Lion" Smith on piano, including Ed Allen's cornet, Cecil Scott on clarinet, Ikey Robinson on banjo, Richard Fulbright on bass, Floyd Casey on the washboard, Clarence Todd's on the kazoo, and Clarence Williams is blowing his zany, highly emotional notes in the jug again. And listen to the vocal by Hambone Jackson. This is a good cornet and a good group. Williams on the jug, and Todd's on the kazoo, and Casey on the washboard, they're just hard to beat.

[''"My Gal Sal" plays'']

'''Bob''': The next song'll be the "Gulf Coast Blues", which is done, which was recorded on September the 5th, 1934 by the same group, the Alabama Jug Band that you just heard, except one of the differences is the writer of this song is also the one who is gonna be blowing the jug, which is Clarence Williams.

[''"Gulf Coast Blues" plays'']

'''Timiny''': OK, I'd like to remind you you're listening to WTJU 91.3 FM in Charlottesville, Virginia, it's almost 6:00. We're doing, (inhales), jugs, kazoos (sighs) and other unusual instruments in jazz, and we have about, oh, about 20 more minutes left of this programming and then we're gonna move on to some boogie-woogie jazz, so I'll let Bob Chandler here continue with this great music, the numbers here again, if you, (pause), choose to make a pledge of support to WTJU are 924-3959 and 924-3418. At this point, we're about $1,800 shy of our goal and we have about one more day of the jazz marathon left so it's time to keep, uh, to stop putting it off and get out your checkbook and, (pause), support your community radio. Okay, Bob. Lay a little more of this on us.

'''Bob''': OK, the next, the next song we'll hear is by the Alabama Jug Band again, this is the same New York personnel, it was recorded at the same time, it's "I Wish I Could Shimmy Like My Sister Kate".

[''"[[Wikipedia:I Wish I Could Shimmy Like My Sister Kate|I Wish I Could Shimmy Like My Sister Kate]]" plays'']

'''Bob''': Okay, we'll come now to the last performance of our jugs, kazoos and washboards, which is done by New York personnel, October the 3rd, 1934, again it's the Alabama Jug Band, uh, which was the cigar chewin' Willie "The Lion" Smith, Ed Allen's cornet, Cecil Scott's clarinet, Ikey Robinson on banjo, Cyrus St. Clair on tuba, Floyd Casey on washboard, Clarence Todd on kazoo, and Clarence Williams blowing his zany notes into the jug. The vocals by Hambone Jackson, you listen for a great cornet break towards the end of this piece, followed by Willie "The Lion" Smith on piano doing his thing. The name of this song is "Somebody Stole My Gal".

[''"[[Wikipedia:Somebody Stole My Gal|Somebody Stole My Gal]]" plays'']

{{Infobox/video
| name = 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon Disc 3 Out Of 6
| video = {{#ev:youtube|clMw0ntg384}}
| stardate = [[1990]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
}}

'''Bob''': Well, I certainly hope that you enjoyed the jugs and the kazoos and the washboards because it's certainly unusual music, you don't hear it much anymore, I think it'd be a lot of fun, I would enjoy going to a place that had it myself, and participating even. We're going to lead into the boogie-woogie show with some boogie-woogie now. Uh, the act, the show will start at 6:30 but we're just gonna lead in with some of the, more modern boogie woogie, not the roots of the boogie woogie but the more modern boogie woogie that was done in the 1939, 1940, 1938, uh, and this is just beautiful music, and the first one we're gonna hear is by one of the greats of the Boogie Woogie Trio, Albert Ammons, and his "Bass Going Crazy", this was recorded in 1939.

[''"Bass Going Crazy" plays'']

'''Bob''': The next record we're gonna hear, is one by Pete Johnson, which was recorded in 1939, and, uh, it's called "Climbing and Screaming", and, it's on the same record so my friend Timiny here is trying to cue it up, so that, uh, we can let it go. That's why I'm hesitating for a minute, give him a little bit of time. So this is "Climbing and Screaming" by Pete Johnson from Kansas City, part of the Boogie Woogie Trio.

[''"Climbing & Screaming" plays'']

'''Bob''': Okay, that was "Climbing & Screaming" by Pete Johnson. Again, we've gotta move to another track on this, uh, record so I'll talk just a little bit. We're gonna have another one by Pete Johnson, and like I say he was part of the Boogie Woogie Trio and he was from Kansas City. And, uh, Timiny says we're ready so, here we go with "[[Kacey]] On My Mind".

[''"Kacey On My Mind" plays'']

'''Bob''': This next record is, is really part of the piano blues but it's not a boogie-woogie, but it's one which, uh, I think you'll be surprised at, it was very surprising to me, it's played by Meade "Lux" Lewis, who's one of the Boogie Woogie Trio again, but he's playing this on a Celeste, which is one of the most beautiful songs I think I've ever heard, I, I, uh,was just, overwhelmed when I heard it, I think you will be too. The name of this tune is The Celeste Blues.

[''Bob mistakenly plays the entirety of "The Pearls" by Mary Lou Williams'']

'''Bob''': I-I-I'm sorry, we got the wrong side of that record, what you just heard was Mary Lou Williams, (laughs), who is, uh, one of the great ones for, uh, piano blues also, and she was playing Jelly Roll Morton's famous "The Pearls". Now we're gonna, we're gonna play one, next, by Maude "Lux"--Meade "Lux" Lewis, we'll go back to the Celeste as soon as we flip the record over, after this one, but this is one he did in 1936 called, uh, "Whistling Blues".

[''"Whistling Blues" plays'']

'''Bob''': OK now, this, this Whistling Blues I picked just because it was kinda unusual, you never hear people whistling anymore. I, myself, find myself whistling, but then, um, I'm a lot older also. (Laughs) Uh, we'll go back to our Celeste Blues, we have it cued up now. And I think that you'll find that this is one of the most beautiful pieces of music you've ever heard. I'm sorry we missed it on our first go-around.

[''"Celeste Blues" plays'']

'''Timiny''': You're listening to WTJU 91.3 in Charlottesville. This is the jazz marathon, the 1990 jazz marathon. We haven't had too many phone calls down here. We would like to thank Robert Overstreet for his, uh, generous pledge, and we're still looking for his request. And we're gonna continue now with more boogie-woogie for about another hour and a half before Sineer (sp.?) comes on with her Sarah Vaughan show that you definitely want to stay tuned for, and Bob Chandler is gonna take us in more boogie-woogie.

'''Bob''': To start the boogie-woogie, I would like first to tell you a little bit about the piano blues, cuz what you're going to hear is a performance of a collection of piano blues, which also is known as the Barrelhouse, Fast Western, the Piano Boogie-Woogie, the Train Blues, the Juke Joint Jams, the Rent Party Blues, the Brothel Piano and piano music in small cafes and bars around the countryside. The following performances that you'll hear for the next hour-and-a-half were recorded between 1924 and 1938, and these will be divided into two categories. Pre-1920 types of piano blues performances, and Post-1920 through 1950 piano blues and jazz. Although there were a multitude of regional and individual variations, Pre-1920 American negro piano music can in general be divided into two main categories. Ragtime, which was a relatively sophisticated music which included the charming, intricate and quite seriously intended work of a small school of Negro composers. Ragtime reached its highest development, and evolved toward actual jazz piano in the cities of the Eastern Seaboard, particularly in New York, eventually becoming the magnificent stride piano of men like James P. Johnson, Fats Waller, Lucky Roberts, Willie "The Lion" Smith and the piano musicians that followed on the streets of Jazz, 52nd Street in New York. Ragtime is a school of piano music into itself, and will be left to others to explore. For me, there's nothing to beat the blues piano, a kind which was, by contrast, a black folk form of music, pure and simple. Its players were self-taught, largely unconcerned with written music, but their music has proved far deeper and more durable. Authentic blues piano was a western and southern type that flourished from Texas to Alabama, through the Mississippi Valley, and had its northern center in Chicago's South Side. It was a folk music played by countless unknown and wandering musicians, riding the freight trains and riverboats from place to place. Most were never recorded, and are only now remembered as vague names by musicians, who became more well known. This was a music invariably played on the dilapidated pianos of lumber camps, back-road dives, speakeasies, brothels, dance halls, cafes, and more importantly, the rent parties of apartments and houses where the tenants would give all-night parties to raise the money to pay the rent. In such surroundings, a piano player was expected to last for hours, which may have something to do with the repetitious form of the music. In any event, functioning mainly as party music and dance music. It had to be strongly rhythmic. At best, it had to simulate the sounds of a full band, and some of the slides and micro-tones of the blues melodies. At its best, this music can be extremely extraordinary, but also deceptively beautiful in its simpler forms. The form of this music was usually that of the 12-bar blues, although 8-bar and even 16-bar variants existed, as well as non-blues tunes that were blues-like in feeling. Some players were quite casual about forming meter, adding or subtracting beats in a haphazard way. Aside from the form itself, the most obvious characteristics of the blues piano is in the blues that you used. There were usually repeated one-bar figures, which sound simple enough, but actually there were innumerable variations, and players prided themselves on the number of basses they knew. There were rolling basses, which kept the hand in the same position for each chord, and walking basses, which moved up and down the keyboard in a set pattern. Some basses used single-note lines, others used thirds, fifths, sixths, and still other broken octaves. Often there were eight to the bar or double-time, a characteristic that has reappeared in rock and soul music. Quite often, the basses started in a rolling, eight-note triplet rhythm. But whatever the specific figure might be, the left hand was the rhythmic bass. The right hand had a completely independent role to play, supplying a contrasting melody line (usually a series of progressive phrases, rather than a sustained or complex melody).

And so, on to the music itself. A small sampling of what could go on for weeks and weeks in the records of my collection alone. There was evidence that the music that we know of as boogie-woogie existed before the turn of the century by players such as William Turk, who was said to have a left hand like God. There was also evidence of players in Birmingham, Alabama, New Orleans, Louis---St. Louis, and the Tenderloin District of New York. The first known published piece of music that shows a form of boogie-woogie, the New Orleans Hop Scop Blues, was written at least as early as 1911 by George Washington Thomas Jr. of Houston, Texas. He later moved to New Orleans in 1914, and this is where he met Clarence Williams and formed a publishing house. George Washington Thomas Jr. also recorded the first known walking bass recording in 1923, it was known as "The Rocks", and to my dismay I do not have a copy of it to let you hear. The first song we will hear, though, is New Orleans Hop Scop Blues as it was published in 1915. It appears to be a song to dance to. It was performed by Betsy Smith with Clarence Williams as her piano player. Notice the piano and the form of the music rather than the words itself. Here is New Orleans Hop Scop Blues.

[''"New Orleans Hop Scop Blues" plays'']

'''Bob''': The next piece we will hear is the Farish Street Jive by Little Brother Montgomery from Louisiana, where he crossed the paths of and learned from Lee Green, Roosevelt Sykes "The Honeydripper", and many other piano players in the logging camps and barrelhouses of Louisiana in the period of 1915 to the '30s. The next three pieces are typical of the blues up to the early '20s. Here is Farish Street Jive by Little Brother Montgomery.

[''"Farish Street Jive" plays'']

'''Bob''': The next piece is by.."Dud-Low Joe" is by Lee Green, and it's the forerunner of the piece that was just played. This name, "Dud-Low Joe", is one of the names used for boogie-woogie before 1928 when Pinetop Smith named this gentry of music "boogie-woogie". Now, this...this "Dud-Low Joe" is, uh, you gotta remember that these people now were back in the...in the before 1920 really playing this in-in the juke joints and turpentine fields of Louisiana, and it's just, just beautiful music.

[''"Dud-Low Joe" plays'']

'''Bob''': The next piano blues that we will hear is The Suitcase Blues by Hersal Thomas. He was the younger brother of George Washington Thomas Jr., and was born in 1910. He was a child prodigy in Houston, and he exceeded his older brothers as a blues pianist. He modeled his style on George's but he elaborated it and developed new, bass figures. When he was 14, he cut his first record, "The Suitcase Blues". He had a very busy, but a very short recording career. In Chicago, Hersal was no less a giant on piano than King Oliver was as a horn player. He was in Detroit working at Penny's Pleasure Inn, where he developed food poisoning and died at the age of 16. Here's his very beautiful "Suitcase Blues" that he recorded when he was 14 years old in 1925.

[''"Suitcase Blues" plays'']

'''Bob''': As I said in the beginning, a lot of these piano players rode the freight trains, both inside the boxcars and underneath the cars, on the rod supports or on the flatcars. They were very accustomed to the sounds the trains made, and the surrounding noise of bells and whistles and echoes of the surrounding trees and buildings that the train passed by. If you've ever ridden a train, you will know what I'm really trying to say. These pianists wrote and played many pieces that became known as the train blues, where they used a piano to make the sounds of the train and the passing bridges and the bells and the buildings. Close your eyes and listen to the train on the next three recordings. First, "The Honky Tonk Train Blues" by the great Meade "Lux" Lewis. This was recorded in 1935.

[''"Honky Tonk Train Blues" plays'']

'''Bob''': Now we'll listen to another train blues. Uh, I guess as you, if you really heard that one, you heard the pounding of the wheels, and the signals and the bells as the train went by crossings, and, uh, it's just amazing how these people, uh, would get this out of a piano and get the actual noise that you were really hearing when you ride a train, if you've ever ridden a train, passenger train or a freight train. Anyway, the next one is, the name of the song is "No. 29" and this is by Wesley Wallace. It was done in 1930, and here he actually has a commentary of the things he's doing on the train (even to the point where he jumps off the train and rolls on the ground). So, so listen away.

[''"No. 29" plays'']

'''Phyllis''': Okay, um, this is great stuff, I hope you're enjoying it. This is Phyllis White, here with Bob Chandler, bringing you boogie-woogie blues piano, we're gonna move up to Chicago now, but I just wanna let you know that you are listening to WTJU 91.3 FM in Charlottesville, uh, you're listening to the WTJU Jazz Marathon. Um, if you'd like to come down and see all our premiums or give us a call, we'd be glad to tell you what we have to offer while the music's playing and the numbers are 924-3418, 924-3959 so, let's, um, move from, sort of, southern domain up to Chicago and here's, uh, Bob to fill you in on that.

'''Bob''': The next, uh, record that we will hear is actually anoth-still another train blues, another example. This is one of the greatest ones by Cripple Clarence Lofton and he was one of the main figures in the Chicago, South Side of Chicago blues piano players. And the name of this one is "Streamline Train" by Cripple Clarence Lofton.

[''"Streamline Train" plays'']

'''Bob''': OK, now we'll, we'll all take the train, and we'll go up to Chicago, because, like all of the jazz players, most of the blues piano players began to drift to Chicago starting about 1915. By the early to mid '20s, there were many groups of piano blues players living in the South Side of Chicago. Groups of these piano players lived in an apartment building called Mecca Flats. 2,000 people were reported to be living there, and other famous piano players lived together at 4435 Prairie Avenue, as well as many other locations on the South Side. Some of these at Prairie Avenue were Pinetop Smith, Meade "Lux" Lewis, and, uh, some of the other greats. In the '20s and '30s, any night would find many of these blues piano players in the bars and rent parties on the South Side. Jimmy Blythe was a house pianist at Paramount Records, and he had quite a following of younger blues pianists. There was Meade "Lux" Lewis and Albert Ammons, and somewhat older player Jimmy Yancey of vaudeville fame, Clarence "Pinetop" Smith from Alabama, Hersal Thomas from Texas, Cripple Clarence Lofton, J.H. "Mr. Freddie" Shayne, as well as many visiting players as they wandered through. Blythe, Thomas and Shayne were the professional players. Yancey and Lofton were gifted semi-pros. Lewis and Ammons were the strong young professionals to beat, and Smith would have been too, if he had not been killed at the age of 25. With this background, we will move into the '20s, the rent parties of South Side Chicago and the blues pianists there and other cities. We will first hear Jimmy Blythe playing his "Chicago Stomp", as recorded in 1924. It must, er, be remembered here that a player may record a piece he has been playing for many years, but recorded at a much later date. So here's Jimmy Blythe, in 1924, playing "Chicago Stomp".

[''"Chicago Stomp" plays'']

'''Bob''': This next record, where we actually have to flip the record and re-cue it to another track on the same record, but, we will next hear "The Mellow Blues" by Jimmy Yancey, and Jimmy Yancey was in vaudeville, he and his wife, and, for many years, and he actually didn't do any recording until 1939, but he was playing the same music back in the '20s that he recorded in 1939, so here is a good example of Jimmy Yancey playing "The Mellow Blues".

[''"The Mellow Blues" plays'']

{{Infobox/video
| name = 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon Disc 4 Out Of 6
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hRGeCpPBE38}}
| stardate = [[1990]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
}}

'''Bob''': The next record we will hear is Chain 'Em Down, by Blind Leroy Garnett. Now he was from Fort Worth, and he recorded this in 1929. Uh, this is again another example of some of the regional differences from Chicago but, uh, this is a, this is a great example of this music in, in the middle '20s.

[''"Honky Tonk Train Blues" briefly plays again'']

'''Bob''': I'm sorry, we picked the wrong track. We will-we will very shortly here put it on the right one, cuz that was "Honky Tonk Train" which we've already heard once, and it's a good piece, but, uh, I wanted at this time to hear "Chain 'Em Down", so we'll give it another try if you'll, just bear with us, we'll make it.

[''"Chain 'Em Down" plays'']

'''Bob''': Another name that the boogie-woogie gentry had before Pinetop Smith named it was The Dozens, and this was one that a lot of people in Louisiana and-and, uh, Pittsburgh and Kansas City and everywhere else played, and here's a rendition by Will Ezell which is probably one of the more famous ones of The Dozens. And Will Ezell was from Shreveport, Louisiana. This was recorded in 1929.

[''"The Dozens" plays'']

'''Bob''': While we're talking now, Phyllis is gonna flip the record and select the next band, but this will be Charlie Spand from Texas, who settled in Detroit, and he had another complete form of boogie-woogie. But, uh, here is Charlie Spand playing his Hastings Street, which was recorded in 1929.

[''"Hastings Street" plays'']

'''Bob''': Okay, while Phyllis is cuing the next record, which is actually the same record (but a different track), we will move to a piano player named Henry Brown, who was from Troy, Tennessee, and he moved to St. Louis in 1918, so here we'll hear what he had to say, his own thing as we listen to his "Deep Morgan", which was recorded actually in 1930, but this was the kind of music he'd been playing in St. Louis for 10 years before that.

[''"Deep Morgan" plays'']

'''Bob''': The next song we will hear is Charles Avery from Chicago, where he's playing his own "Dearborn Street Breakdown". This was recorded in 1929 but, here again, he was playing this long before 1929.

[''"Dearborn Street Breakdown" plays'']

'''Bob''': Next we will hear one of the most accomplished blues piano pianist, Meade "Lux" Lewis, playing what was almost the theme song of J.H. "Mr. Freddie" Shayne - Shayne's own "Mr. Freddie Blues". This tells us a lot about "Mr. Freddie" Shayne. I don't have any records by "Mr. Freddie" Shayne, and I wish I did. He came along earlier with some of the-some of the earlier pianists, and I guess he just didn't record that much. At least I don't have the records. But anyway, this is Maude "Lux" Lewis playing "Mr. Freddie's Blues". This was recorded in 1936.

[''"Mr. Freddie Blues" plays'']

'''Bob''': Now, Albert Ammons, Clarence "Pinetop" Smith, and Meade "Lux" Lewis lived for a time at the same location in South Side, Chicago. Ammons was the only one who had a piano. Can you imagine recording what we would now call jam sessions that they must have had there? Just before Pinetop, now, later we will hear Pinetop's record, uh, his first boogie-woogie, but just before he was killed, he asked Albert Ammons to learn his boogie-woogie. And here it is, what Albert Ammons learned from Pinetop, "The Boogie Woogie Stomp" by Albert Ammons.

[''"Boogie Woogie Stomp" plays'']

'''Bob''': There's one more of the older Chicago boogie-woogie piano players that we'll hear next. Th-this one is Jimmy Yancey, and this was actually recorded in 1939 because he didn't make any recordings until 1939, even though he was in Vaudeville at the turn of the century. But this was the kind of music that he was playing in the '20s, the mid '20s, and even into the '30s. And, th-this one tells you a lot about how-the kind of music that he could play. This is called "Tell Him About Me", by Jimmy Yancey.

[''"Tell Him About Me" plays'']

'''Bob''': Now we're getting up to the point in time of about 1928, and we come to the man who vaulted himself into immortality by naming the musical idiom of boogie-woogie, after recording only 8 sides before he was killed...(Chuckles) Actually, it wasn't his fault, he was actually hit by a stray bullet. But he was killed at the age of 25. Pinetop Smith was from Alabama, and he was working in a chili parlor and beer garden in Pittsburgh in 1925 or '26, and Cow Cow Davenport, who was also from Alabama, and was working for one of the record companies visited him as he was on one of his Vaudeville tours, and, as Pinetop was working on and playing his blues and overhand piano style, Cow Cow is reported to have said to Pinetop, "Boy, look here, you sure have a mean boogie-woogie.", and he also tried to explain how Pinetop could add boogie-woogie to the words he was making to go with the music. It is thought that Pi-, uh, Cow Cow might even have talked Pinetop into moving to Chicago so Pinetop could make records. Well, here we have the first two sides of the eight sides that Pinetop recorded. First, "The Jump Steady Blues", and then Pinetop's boogie-woogie, which is, both recorded in 1928, with Pinetop doing his singing, or talking if you like. But, here again, this shows that boogie-woogie is for dancing as Pinetop gives instructions as he plays. Here's his "Jump Steady Blues".

[''"Jump Steady Blues" plays'']

'''Bob''': While they're resetting up for the next record, which is one track before this one, I will tell you that what we're gonna hear next is the first record that really put the name to this whole gentry, and i-it's called "Pinetop's Boogie Woogie", and this was the first time it was put on record, it was put on record in 1928, and this is how the whole thing got its name.

[''"[[Wikipedia:Pinetop's Boogie Woogie|Pinetop's Boogie Woogie]]" plays'']

'''Bob''': And now we come to the record, in 1938, that introduced the whole world to boogie-woogie and the jitterbug dance craze. Next this is Tommy Dorsey's version of Pinetop's music, and you will-if you ever picked up the record, maybe you haven't, but it says right on the record that this is Pinetop Smith's Boogie Woogie, and the name of the record was "Boogie Woogie" by Tommy Dorsey, and it was made in 1938.

[''"Boogie Woogie" plays'']

'''Bob''': There, that was the Boogie Woogie that people like me grew up with in our teens. It was the introduction of the world to the piano blues. The closeness of John Hammond to Tommy Dorsey, John's love of the piano blues and Tommy Dorsey's recording of Boogie Woogie started John Hammond on a search for the piano blues players that he thought might still live in Chicago. John came up with the idea of a Spirituals to Swing concert to be held at Carnegie Hall in December of 1938. So John started on the, on the search for the jazz and blues greats throughout the country. He found most of the jazz and blues greats, and they agreed to the concert. Of the blues piano players, he found Albert Ammons and Meade "Lux" Lewis in Chicago, and Pete Johnson in Kansas City. These three pianists came into being with this concert as The Boogie Woogie Trio. They became very successful as a trio through recording dates, as well as club dates in New York and Chicago for the next group of years, for about ten years. Boogie-Woogie had been born to the world in 1938. It was no longer the property of the black race only, and now must be shared with the rest of the world. How much the world missed for 20 years before John Hammond started his love for the music with the world! Here is the last record for the night, actually the next-to-last record, but this is the last record by the, by The Boogie Woogie Trio, "The Boogie Woogie Prayer" by The Boogie Woogie Trio of Ammons, Lewis and Johnson, recorded in 1938.

[''"Boogie Woogie Prayer" plays'']

'''Bob''': Okay, since we have a little bit of time left, we're gonna play an extra one here, which-because we really didn't give you a good, uh, record, erm, interpretation from Pete Johnson. Now, Pete Johnson, like I say, was from Kansas City. He was a different group completely from the Chicago crowd, but he plays one mean piano, and he-he was part of this Boogie Woogie Trio from-from Carnegie Hall concert, and we're gonna play one called "Roll 'Em Pete" by Pete Johnson at this time.

[''"[[Wikipedia:Roll 'Em Pete|Roll 'Em Pete]]" plays'']

'''Bob''': Heh, heh. Well, we have enjoyed sharing our love for this music, and some of my records with you tonight. And if you would like to have a weekly program of this music, just contact Bruce Torrence, the jazz programming director, or Phyllis White, the special programming director, at WTJU. And, incidentally, some of you out there (unless you're at least my age) might not realize that in the beginning, when they were assigning letters to the stations like WTJU, do you know what the WTJU stands for?

'''Phyllis''': Thomas Jefferson's University.

'''Bob''': That's right, it stands for Thomas Jefferson's University, and I'll tell you a story that came out of Chicago since we spent a lot of time in Chicago tonight. Uh, the story is that in 1925, there was a company who wanted to, um, uh, get their name, really, across the air, and they had-they bought this big radio station in 1925. Radio stations were scarce, but this one-this one was called WLS, and the reason they picked those call letters was because that was Sears & Roebuck, and they stood for The World's Largest Store. So now you know what-what significance these call letters can have for stations because what could be better for a station than WTJU? Thomas Jefferson's University, who, incidentally, another piece of information is that Thomas Jefferson was known as the first real, honest, collector of popular music in the United States of America.

'''Phyllis''': (quietly) Hm, interesting. Great. (unintelligible)

'''Bob''': So now, if you would like to have a weekly program of this blues piano, just contact Bruce Torrence, the jazz programming director, or Phyllis White, the special programming director, at WTJU, and we will see what can be worked out.

'''Phyllis''': (quietly laughs)

'''Bob''': This is Bob Chandler and Phyllis White, signing off, and sending you off to the next program.

'''Phyllis''': Mmm-hmm.

==[[eBay]]==
On 14 [[July 2014]], Chris listed CDs of the marathon on eBay, never mind it was put up for free download already (and on a website that wouldn't be defunct until 8 months after it was posted). The list price was $50, $10 of which Chris claimed would be donated to WTJU. Obviously, the CD cover has [[Chris and his Ego|Sonichu]] and the words [[Chris and copyright|"(C) 2000 CWC" on it]]. eBay removed the listing, presumably over copyright infringement, and Chris angrily reposted the listing, claiming that he had permission from WTJU to sell it, which is somewhat irrelevant, and which WTJU later retracted.<ref>[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/wtju-charlottesville-radio-station-responds.4313/]</ref> Apparently, WTJU gave the permission, rather than telling him it wasn't theirs to give, because they thought that Bob was a musician who did a set for the station and not a DJ. eBay then removed the listing a second time, but not before two hapless people had bought copies. Chris gave up on relisting the CDs and claimed he was unable to refund the buyers, but promised to ship each of them a color commissioned drawing, autographed photo, and complimentary CD instead.

==References==
<references/>

==Links==
* [https://archive.org/details/Bobs1990WTJUJazzMarathon The full marathon] on the Internet Archive
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdlHvwJ22mM (Disc 1)
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jn19ZFhN97E (Disc 2)
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clMw0ntg384 (Disc 3)
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRGeCpPBE38 (Disc 4)
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkaZd6IS93A (Disc 5)
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TD-olCmSWuk (Disc 6)

[[Category:Music]]

WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE

2021-09-14T00:43:22Z

Resrsc: archive

{{quote|GET ON EBAY! BUY THE SHIT!}}

[[Chris]] and [[Barb]] uploaded a series of three videos [[Financhu Crisis|begging for mortgage money]] on 8 [[May 2018]].

==WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!==
In this video, Barb is in the drivers seat asking for donations to pay the mortage. This looks to be the setting of a car repair shop. This is also the first time Barb has called Chris by "Christine" instead of the usual "Chrischun".
{{Infobox/video
| name = WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!
| ytid = Ayh2zZOS9GE
| stardate = 8 May 2018
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Beedee, Beedee, Beedee; I’m Back, Buck!]]
| next = [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE#SERIOUSLY, BUY THE TOYS FROM ME NOW, PLEASE!|SERIOUSLY, BUY THE TOYS FROM ME NOW, PLEASE!]]
}}

===Transcript===
Chris: Go.

Barb: Everybody out there, buy things off of [[eBay]].

Chris (''angrily''): Off of Christine's eBay.

Barb: Off of Christine's eBay, to help us pay our mortgage.

Chris: Please.

Barb: Thank you.

==SERIOUSLY, BUY THE TOYS FROM ME NOW, PLEASE!==

{{tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = SERIOUSLY, BUY THE TOYS FROM ME NOW, PLEASE!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|34DpbgfEjiU}}
| stardate = 8 May 2018
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| shirt = Blue t
| previous = [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE#WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!|WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]
| next = [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE#Please, HELP US! FORECLOSURE RISK HIGH!|Please, HELP US! FORECLOSURE RISK HIGH!]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello, everybody, Christine Chandler coming to you live from ''home'' once again, and the ''mort''gage ''pay''ment is ''really'' due to''mor''row, and we have to make ''two'' month payments this month, and we need - and we need, like, two hundred dollars, so please GET ON [[eBay|EBAY]]! BUY THE SHIT! BUY THE STUFF! BUY THE THINGS OFF OF EBAY! We need more money! And, by the way, where did the monies go from [''rapid and incoherent''] a bunch of previous sales recently? Oh, I caught up on the past three months of the [[Patreon]] bucks, and the rest of the money had to go towards the bills and everything, okay? So PLEASE, BUY NOW! We NEED mortgage payment! We need food for the rest of the month, buy stuff OFF OF THE EBAY! I gave you my mother, there is no excuse, this is [[Honest Content|TRUTH]], this is NOT A LIE, BUY NOOOOOW!

==Please, HELP US! FORECLOSURE RISK HIGH!==
Chris pleads for the sales of his eBay items claiming that they must make two mortgage payments or else [[14 Branchland Court]] could be foreclosed upon.
{{Infobox/video
| name = Please, HELP US! FORECLOSURE RISK HIGH!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|krjpsh4dVgU}}
| stardate = 8 May 2018
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| shirt = Blue t
| previous =[[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE#SERIOUSLY, BUY THE TOYS FROM ME NOW, PLEASE!|SERIOUSLY, BUY THE TOYS FROM ME NOW, PLEASE!]]
| next =[[May 2018 Paid Video Requests#Happy Birthday, Nick|Happy Birthday, Nick]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''inhales''] Please everyone help uuuuus. [''Facepalms, stress grunt''] Just the past six months, I can't talk about it but the money went (intelligible) and we lost a whole bunch of money. [''Scratches head and grunts''] And if we don't pay this mortgage they're gonna foreclose on our houuuuuuuse. Ahh, so please, please help us. Uhh, I'm gonna add more listings later but for now please, [''facepalm''] go on to my eBay and [''hits self in the head repeatedly, whining''] buy everything that I have on there right nooooooooooow. Please, help us, help us, help us.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Beedee, Beedee, Beedee; I’m Back, Buck!]]|nextlink=[[May 2018 Paid Video Requests]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

Vitameatavegamin

2021-09-14T00:43:16Z

Resrsc: archive

[[File:Lucy Shocked.jpg|thumb|200px|From the ''I Love Lucy'' scene.]]

'''Vitameatavegamin''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris repeats, almost verbatim, a well-known bit from the ''[[I Love Lucy]]'' TV show, where Lucy hawked a patent medicine.

Without the main punchline of the original (Lucy trying out the medicine for herself while rehearsing the commercial and discovering it tastes really bad, thus resulting in her flubbing her takes) it's basically just a bland, shot-for-shot remake of the said bit. Then again, even if he kept what made the original scene funny, it'd probably still be of the same quality.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Vitameatavegamin
| ytid = sKdNSalZUJU
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Gilligan Be or Not]]
| next = [[A Public Announcement for Congress]]
}}
{{quote|Are you [[Chris|unpopular]]?}}
=== Transcript ===
[''Chris walks on camera and waves cheerfully.'']

Hello, friends! I'm your Vitameatavegamin man! Are you tired, [[Chris and health|run-down]], [[Stress|listless]]? [[Chris and English|D'ya poopoutaparties]]?!
[''He waves his head around in a circle.'']

Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems... in this little bottle!

[''He picks up a bottle of vitamin pills, which judging by the yellow label, appears to be a Nature Made product.'']

Vitameatavegamin! Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, [[Pickle|vegetables]] and minerals! Yes, with Vitameatavegamin you can [[Homos|spoon your way to health]]. Just take one tablespoonful after every meal.

[''He mimes eating a spoonful of the bottle's contents.'']

It's so tasty, too! It tastes just like [[Fanta|can-daay]]! So why don't you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin TA-MORROW! That's Vita-meata-vegamin!

[''He puts down the bottle and walks off camera.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Gilligan Be or Not]]|nextlink=[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-18 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-18 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-18 d]]

Victory Rockout

2021-09-14T00:43:11Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Victory Rockout''' (originally called '''Skyrim Victory.mp4''') is a video leaked early in the morning of 28 [[August 2011]] by [[CWCki]] user Dinglebear, under the YouTube account "CWCvilleProductions". In this video, Chris flails around a ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' controller while dancing to Sbeast's [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyCFuP3rM2w metal version] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim|The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim]]'' theme. Chris completely disregards both the rhythm and structure of the original song, and just [[Random-access humor|screams whatever pops in his mind in a not-particularly-musical manner]]. It appears to be created in response to [[Thorg]]'s retirement from [[trolling]], referencing [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada|Thorg's love for ''The Elder Scrolls'']].

Chris once again complains about [[CWCki]]. He's likely taking an issue with the PS3 Tracker on the front page, which said at the time ''"Chris was last spotted playing ''Fallout: New Vegas''. Chris has spent over $3,678.10 of YOUR money!"'' and is trying to hint that he's not spending ''that'' much money on video games. (It is worth noting that CWCki's numbers are on the conservative side.)

The video frequently skips and misses frames, which is most likely due to his [[PSEye]] being damaged ([[Chris and anger|again]]).

{{Infobox/video
| name = Victory Rockout
| ytid = 41cBjmYezm8
| stardate = 28 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{(Handouts)|Spending}}, {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Calling Out Saga|text}}
| shirt = Green Shirt with Unreadable Text
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]
| next = [[Response to ADF]]
}}

{{quote|Glad to see my remixes going to good use. . .|sbeast64}}

===Transcript===
''Chris kneels down and presses buttons on the [[PS3]] controller, and the music begins. He starts furiously slapping his [[Guitar Hero]] guitar.''

Eah, we got victory! [''[[Pedo-Glasses#Dramatic glasses removal|Dramatic glassess removal]]''] I won with a victory! Victory on all damn cyber bullies! Cyberbullies gonna get their kickin', BAM BAM BAM! Bam! I kicked your head in, you damn dirty bullies! [''Strikes the air with his [[Gitar of Fail|guitar controller]] while it's still attached to his neck''] Whee!

You bullies are really, really stupid! Trolls are really, really stupid! Hey you bullies are really, really stupid! ''[[Pokémon|Team Rocket]]'s'' stupid, you're stupid, you're stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID STUPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!

[[Random-access humor|Hello,]] [[Ian Brandon Anderson|Ian!]] [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David|Why is your last name Brandon Anderson?!]]

{{RageQuote|[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!]]}}

[''crows loudly like a rooster'']

Victory over the trolls! Goes to the creator of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]! Yeah! [''turns around and thrusts his ass towards the camera''] So you can kiss it! Kit! Kiss it! Kiss it!

And I paid ten dollars for this guitar and game combo, at a garage sale a couple weeks ago! I only paid $10 FOR ''Fallout: Vegas'' when it was on sale a previous time!

So your assumptions of what I paid for everything... INCORRECT!

The [[CWCki]]'s a damn lie! Ahhh....exaggerations! False implications! [[Nudes|Naked truths]] and a content plague inside contents!

Never trust the CWCki no matter what! [[Mailbag|If you have questions, ask me d'personally!]] I will answer with [[Honest Content|honesty!]] All they tell you is exaggeration and lies! Damn those internet bullies!

{{RageQuote|[[Death threats|DEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAD!]]}}

[''turns off [[PSEye]]'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]|nextlink=[[Response to ADF]]}}
{{Calling Out}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-28 v]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Very Cool Birthday Present! :)

2021-09-14T00:43:10Z

Resrsc: archive

[[File:Sarah and Steve letter to Chris.png|250px|thumb|"I dunno if anybody wants to read that but, ehh."]]

On 7 [[March 2019]], Chris made a 7-minute unboxing video of the [[Nintendo Switch]] he received as a gift from [[Sarah and Steve]]. Notably, at one point, Chris pulls a letter from Sarah and Steve out of the box and holds it up to the camera before setting it aside - the letter explicitly saying not to discuss the matter online, raising the suspicion of observers that this may be a sign of a [[Troll|trolling]] scheme. Chris deleted the video a few hours later, and then reuploaded it with the title '''A Very Cool Birthday Present!'''. It's unknown why he decided to reupload it, since he didn't even edit out the letter.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Very Cool Birthday Present! :)
| ytid = RbZYGKLXtHU
| stardate = 7 [[March 2019]]
| maker =
| subject = {{video games}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga =
| shirt = {{Light gray bathrobe|text}}
| other =
| previous = [[A Moment With Dr Wolf Chris Chan and Greater Struggles]]
| next = [[A Wild Chris-Chan Attempts Human Interaction]]
}}

==Transcript==
===Introduction (0:00-1:08)===
Hey errybody, Christine Chandler coming to you live from home once again. In my... housecoat. Wuh anyway, nuh bout that, cuz, we got a special... delivery today! [''adjusts camera''] This lovely ''bots''! Wit, address on it... and... there's that side... and, [[Speech impediment|big lugly bots]], uhh, suspected from the certain fan. [''rotates box''] Side. [''rotates box''] Huh. Side, side. As if we ''didn't'' know what was coming. Cuz, it came! The box came a bit ''damaged'', so, [''moves camera to box''] you pretty much SEEEE what we're esspeh-what we're... ''getting'', this ''little bit''.
So let's open this thing the rest of the way. [''starts to set camera on bed, then notices [[Sylvia]] looking at the box''] Oh look! [''picks camera back up''] [''in baby talk voice''] There's Sylvia! Hi sweetie! [''Sylvia walks to the edge of the bed.''] Oop! Ha ha, wuh ya doing? Youse camera shy? What are you camera shy? You're so silly. [''higher pitched voice''] Why are you so silly? Silly Sylvia, I love youuu! I do! [''sets camera down on bed'']

===Chris opens the box (1:08-2:33)===
Let me get my pocket knife, [''Chris opens the velcro case of his pocket knife off camera''] do something here. [''Chris picks up the camera, and shows Sylvia pawing at the case.''] There you go, she's playing with my pocket knives... thing. Kitty kitty! This became a cat video! [''nervous sounding chuckle''] Livia you're so silly. [''moves camera back to box''] Alright so, I'unno I guess I'll just, pick it at and... open it on that side. Gonna go with this side. [''moves pocket knife to box''] [''Sylvia moves to the box, and stares at the damaged part''] [''in baby talk voice''] Onoppa[??] kitty! This kitty. [''Chris starts cutting open one side of the box''] Da-dang she got spooked by... [''Chris finishes cutting one side of tape''] the knife noise. It's noisy! [''Chris grabs the box''] Up! Aight! [''Chris turns the box upside down''] Ehnna[?] this way! [''Chris fiddles some more, then begins cutting the other side.''] Okay. [''Chris realizes he's turned the box to where it's supposed to be opened''] Oop! Duh. [''Chris continues cutting''] There. Ooh! [''Chris puts on a creepy gollum voice''] DASH PRESUSH! [''finishes cutting the box open''] [''sighs''] Maybe do a this side-this side ''up'' type arrow thing when [''Chris starts opening the bots''] opaging[?] it? These? But, it's good! It's good!

===Chris shows off the bots's contents and Switch games (2:33-5:38)===
Aight. [''Chris finishes opening all the flaps of the box and moves the camera towards it''] Yup. So, [''Chris pulls out a small box''] there's a small thing. [''Chris starts opening the small thing''] What's that? [''Chris opens the small thing, which has a small painted coin purse along with a note that says "An extra surprise gift from us! From Steve and Sarah"''] Aww! It's a little splays cue[???]! Aww that's cute. That's cute, look at that, thas pretty. Ess a little, huh that's a cheese purse. [''Chris takes out the... cheese purse?''] It's a... pretty little... cheese purse. I like that. [''Chris sets down the purse''] Anyway yup. [''Chris pulls out a note on top of the box of the switch''] Here it is, a Nintendo Switch. Yay! [''Chris takes the Switch out''] Uhh. Get out the bots. Oh. [''Chris moves the camera to a corner of the Switch box that says it comes with 35 dollars in E-shop credit.''] Hey look a that. Includes, 35 dollars on the E-shop. So groovy, [[Chris and money|I can get started!]] [''turns the box on a side and starts opening it''] And, let's, open this up so, we can confirm it's [''in a mocking voice''] ''not just an empty bots''! Where dey sink of the audience at home when dey do it the pocket knife. [''Chris takes out his multi tool''] Where dey do wid this... multi-purpose... pocket knife. [''Chris spends fifteen seconds fiddling with the multi-tool while grunting''] Eh. There we are hm. [''Chris flips the multi-tool around in his hand''] If you can't tell it's also a... pair of pliers and a wrench. [''Chris starts cutting open the sticker seal on the Switch box''] Enf. This dee[?]. [''Chris opens the box in a clumsy manner'']] Yay! Nintendo Switch! Yayy! So, merry Christmas present. Merry Christmas present, Doo boing! Doo doo! It's a thing! [''Chris sets the camera down on the bed, covering the lens''] Ding! It's in there! [''sounds of paper rustling''] [''Chris picks up the camera, and is holding a letter by Sarah and Steve''] And... nice little letter I dunno if aybody wants to read that but, ehh. Iss safe to read but, oh well it doesn't have their address on it so, you can pause n' read that whatever. Uhh, fortune I was kinda like, half expecting to get a Switch in the future, cuz, in case you haven't seen on my ''trophy list'' I had...[''holds up Switch copy of Starlink''] gun Starlink on PS4 an' I also got the Switch version, so, [''shows off Starlink controller mount with Star fox figure attached.''] add this! The lil Fox Mcloud! [''holds up Starlink Arwing figure''] An' the Arwing! Zoom! [''Chris attaches Arwing to controller mount''] So, kinda like half expecting. [''sets down camera and reaches into Switch box''] O hey. [''Chris pulls out the Joycons and holds them up to the camera''] Joycon things, So... Owamly. [''transcriber can't figure out what the fuck Chris is saying here.''] Hm. [''Chris puts joy cons in controller mount, and shows it to the camera''] So yeah, hm! I can finally mess around! Dededededededededede! Imfin [?]. [''notices Sylvia again, and speaks in baby talk''] Dis kitty! Dish kitty! Is Sylvia! Hi cutie! [''Chris stops baby talk and holds up a copy of Super Smash Bros Ultimate''] Eh, I also went ahead and bought this, couple days ago. [''sets game down''] So, yeah, with that I'll end up... [''shows off Sonichu and Rosechu [[Amiibo]]''] placing ''these'' on, dere. Hey! [[Nintendo]]! How about, [''Chris moves closer to the mic''] [[Chris and his Ego|DLCing us in, Sonichu, Rosey, and... me, Chris Chan, Sonichu. Yup.]]

===Chris harasses Sylvia (5:38-7:10)===
[''notices Sylvia again, and speaks in baby talk again''] Look at dis silly kitty it's [unintelligable]. Still a kitty! [''Sylvia starts pawing at the empty box''] [''voice gets even higher''] Why are you so silly?! [''Chris stops high pitched baby talk''] Oop! I think she likes the empty bots. [''Chris turns the big lugly bots on its side, so Sylvia can walk into the open side''] Uh go an eet deet bots?<ref>Transcriber had to slow this part to 0.5 speed to understand it</ref> There you go. [''Sylvia crawls in the bots''] Yeeah. There you go now its become a... cat in the bots video. [''Chris drags the bots so Sylvia faces the camera''] [''high pitched voice''] Yup! Helloo! Look at the cat in the bots! [''creepy chuckle''] Become a cat in the bots video! Yuh. [''Chris reaches out to pet her''] Aw, you're so silly. [''Sylvia jerks her head away and struggles for several seconds before Chris finally pets her''] You're so cute. [''Chris nuzzles the side of her head, Sylvia looks uncomfortable''] Love you! [''high pitched voice''] Love youuu! Yes I dooo! [''Chris jangles Sylvia's tag on her collar''] Eh well, and I had to buy her a new tag and collar recently, because she [''Chris rubs Sylvia's head''] looost her previous co-her original collar. Hey! [''Chris stops rubbing and shakes the jingle on her collar''] Got a jingle bell back [''Chris fondles Sylvia with his fingers''] so now I can hear her coming! Naaww. So cute. [''Chris stops fondling Sylvia and moves the bots''] [''Sylvia runs out of the bots''] She's so cute! Oop! And then she hopped out cuz I moved the bots, I'm sorry. [''Chris moves the bots closer to Sylvia''] Why'nt you get back in? You can get back in! [''Chris puts plastic packaging material bag in the bots''] Here. Why'nt you get back in? Think you look cute. You cute. Eh heh. [''Sylvia goes in the bots''] There you go! Hm! You know, she, just being a kitty. She's being herself. Heshew[??]! Hey dere! Hey cue. [''Chris nuzzles the side of Sylvia's head with his finger''] Goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo! Aight. [''Chris moves the camera back at himself and switches back to normal voice''] Okay, so there you go. Unbotsing. I'm gonna mess around with this, and update and all that, so... [''Chris gives a [[creepy stare]] and smile for several seconds''] Y'all saw that. Okay! Thank you very much and... have a good day.

==Letter Transcript==
{{quoteboxred|
Sarah & I are both fans of your content, but 
I'd like us to become best friends over time. 
--------------------------------------------------------
(do NOT read whats below on video or mention it online.) 
Us moving to Virginia will be a life changing 
event. And you will become our only friend around. 
This letter was gonna be about our plans to 
move & help you. But we already talked on the 
phone about those matters. 

Remember, if you are ever in trouble & need help 
(before we're able to move) just message us first! 
I'm afraid other people could not be very trusted. 

From 
Steven & 
Sarah ❤️⚡❤️ }}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Moment With Dr Wolf Chris Chan and Greater Struggles]]|nextlink=[[A Wild Chris-Chan Attempts Human Interaction]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2019]]

Valentines Day Hymn

2021-09-14T00:43:03Z

Resrsc: archive

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:453-ValentineHymnCollage.JPG|thumb|right|Behold the V-Day Collage of Fail!]]

'''Valentines Day Hymn''' is one of [[Chris]]'s earliest poems. He wrote it on Valentine's Day [[2000]] for "[[CWC's Pokésite 2]]". It's quite obvious he didn't pay much attention in [[English]] or [[music]] class, or he'd probably have known that a [[Wikipedia:Hymn|hymn]] is a song of praise or adoration, usually addressed to a [[Chris and religion|deity]] or [[Megan|prominent person]]; not a poem telling a boring story.

==Text==

==='''Valentines Day Hymn'''===
<poem>
On the day of love and romance,
Hearts and cupids fly around.
The arrow of cupid hits a man,
And that man falls head over heels for a pretty gal.
Cards and candy go hand-to-hand,
Expressing the thoughts of love put in the poem.
Kisses are shared and fireworks are blown,
The only way that could happen is if they kissed on the 4th of July.
On a [[Dating|date]], the man could not pay the bill,
So his date slammed her door in his face.
Red and Pink are the hearty colors,
Because that's how the hearts were originally drawn.
The man's coat over a puddle,
The maiden walks,
Then the man trips and pays the laundry bill.
Under the moonlight,
The couples of the world kiss,
But unfortunately for few,
They are [[Bob Walks In|interrupted by their parents]].
Night is right for love,
Except for the werewolf...
Whoops!
[[Random-access humor|Wrong holiday]].
Happy Valentines Day to all lovers!
The cupids did a pretty good job,
Didn't they?
</poem>

==Analysis==
Chris tried his hand at free-verse with this poem. While some may see this as a bold, modern approach to poem-writing, it is more likely that Chris was just too lazy to adhere to any sort of rhyming pattern or meter, instead writing down whatever the hell came out of his head without having to deal with the [[Stress|stress]] of a rigid pattern.

The poem seems to be about a [[Christian Weston Chandler|clumsy, broke man]] and his lousy date (note the implication that the girl is [[Women's rights|shallow and only cares about money]]), but Chris deems it necessary to break up this story with some barely relevant thoughts on love and Valentine's Day, making the poem even harder to read than it needs to be. The poem also does a great job in showing Chris's ignorance. He seems to believe that fireworks are only used on Valentine's Day and the Fourth of July, he has no idea what the term "hearty" means, and that he thinks a woman would do her laundry on a date with a man. Chris wraps up this steaming pile of failure with a sprinkle of [[random-access humor]] to ruin any sort of beauty that he lazily tries to create.

Perhaps the most remarkable thing about this poem is its nonchalant and cheerful attitude toward dating and romance. After his [[love quest]] began in 2003, Chris was known to complain about the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] and called the rest of the human males [[JERKS]]. He would often bemoan his sad and lonely state. At the time this song was written though, Chris was apparently not too hurried to find a sweetheart, and was more than willing to celebrate the love of others.

==Spanish version==
Chris wrote an alternate version for the Spanish version of the Pokésite, later put up on the [[CWCipedia]].<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWC_Speaks</ref>

With very minor exceptions (such as the last line, which literally translates to "Yes?" as opposed to "Didn't they?"), Chris opts for the literal school of translation, opting to translate word for word without regard to the original rhythm of the poem. Academically and professionally, literal translation is not considered an acceptable style for translating literary works or poetry from a Romance language, such as Spanish, into the English language.

===Chris's translation===
<poem>
En el díy de amor y romance,
Corazónes y cupids volan alrededor.
La flecha de cupid choca un hombre,
Y esto hombre está enamorado por la señora bonita.
Tarjetas de amor y cande son juntos bien,
Expresan los pensamientos de amor en la poema.
Los Besos son partes y los fuegos artificales explotan,
Puede ocurrir solomente si ellos besan en el 4 de Julio.
En una cita, el hombre no puede pagar la cuenta,
Tan su novia cerra su puerta en su cara.
Rojo y Rosado son los colores del día de St. Valentin,
Porqué son los colores originales de los corazónes.
El abrigo del hombre cubre un charco,
La doncella camina,
Que el hombre baja y paga la cuenta para la ropa lavada.
En el luz de la luna, Las parejas del mundo besan,
Pero para menos, Tienen in interrupción desde sus padres.
La noche es bueno para amor,
Excepto el werewolf...
¡Hoy!
Falsa fiesta.
Feliz día de St. Valentin para todos están enamoros!
Los cupids hacen un trabajo bueno,
Sí?
</poem>

===Correct translation===

<poem>
En el día del amor y del romance,
Vuelan corazones y cupidos.
La flecha de Cupido le da a un hombre,
Y éste se enamora perdidamente de una chica bonita.
Se pasan de mano a mano cartas y dulces
Que expresan los sentimientos de amor en el poema.
Se comparten besos y estallan fuegos artificiales;
Esto sólo pasaría si se besaran el cuatro de julio.
Durante una cita, el hombre no pudo pagar la cuenta,
Por lo que la muchacha le cerró la puerta en la cara.
El rojo y el rosa son los colores del corazón
Porque así se dibujaron en un principio.
El abrigo del hombre sobre un charco,
Camina la doncella;
Luego, el hombre se tropieza y le paga al lavandero.
Bajo la luz de la luna
Se besan las parejas del mundo,
Pero, mal que le pese a algunos,
Les interrumpen sus padres.
La noche es adecuada para el amor,
Menos para el hombre lobo...
¡Uy!
Fiesta equivocada.
¡Feliz día de San Valentín a todos los enamorados!
Qué buen trabajo hicieron los cupidos,
¿No es cierto?
</poem>

==Chris's Spanish version literally translated back to English==

<poem>
In day of Romance love and,
Hearts and cupids high around.
The arrow of Cupid hits a man,
and this man is enamored by the pretty lady.
Cards of together love and good locks are,
Express the thoughts of love in the poem.
The Kisses are parts and the artificial fires explode,
Can happen single if they kiss on the 4th of July.
In an appointment, the man cannot pay the account,
So his fiancèe slamming his door in his face.
Red and Pink they are the colors of the day of St. Valentin,
Because they are the original colors of the hearts.
The shelter of the man covers a pool,
doncella walks,
That the low man and pays the account for the washed clothes.
On the light of the moon, the pairs of the world kiss,
But for less, They have in interruption from its parents.
The night is good for love,
Except werewolf…
Today!
False celebration.
Happy day of St. Valentin for all is enamoros!
Cupids makes a work good,
Yes?
</poem>

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading
| ytid = 1rN7PtUMMYg
| stardate = 28 [[May 2010]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| subject = | type = | info = The second poem read, along with [[Hard Love Quest]] and [[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]].
}}

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Writings}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Poetry]]

Update 20160718

2021-09-14T00:43:00Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Update_20160718''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 18 July 2016. He begins this video by verbally fucking up the stardate and mistakenly saying that the year is 2014. He wishes a happy anniversary to [[Trolls|George]] and [[Sweetheart|Amber]], part of a new video request program Chris started, that costs $50 up front.

A Kiwi Farms user named Koozbane revealed himself as George and uploaded screenshots of his conversation with Chris, saying he would not be paying for the video.

<center><gallery>
File:Koozbane1.jpg
File:Koozbane2.jpg
</gallery></center>

Although the shout-out was arranged by George, Chris opted to congratulate him for having a girlfriend; a more rational person would have called Amber lucky for having such a thoughtful boyfriend (especially one who is eager to drop $50 for a dedication from an autistic man-child). One can only [[Virgin with rage|guess]] why Chris was urged to applaud him instead of her.

He also shows off some Pokemon cards he is putting on eBay, finally selling some of his hoard that he has for money, but he still continues to beg for donations. He also announces that he no longer has a panel at the upcoming [[OmegaCon]] event.

Notable in this video is the glorious return of the "[[Captain's Log]]" opening, [[XBox is OK.MOV|the first time since 2010]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Update_20160718
| ytid = 2cssaf1F8qs
| stardate = 18 [[July 2016]]
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| shirt = {{TurquoiseTankTop|text}}
| previous = [[Donations Further Requested, Please]]
| next = [[Paid Video Requests#Josh Lover of men|Josh Lover of men]]
}}
{{quote|My brain's kinda--trying to... Stress! stress, anxiety, beep}}

===Description===
{{quotebox| Text Video Requests to me at (434)-760-0848; $50, and Payment Required Upfront, please.

Donations still requested.

Please send donations directly to us via PayPal to my email address: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com. Thank you.

If you don't know how, watch this video.

https://youtu.be/wPYVhPe_PTQ

Links to my Pokemon card eBay listings are on my Facebook wall and Twitter feed; go there to find them.
}}

===Transcript===
[''PS4 intro'']

Captain's log: Stardate, July 18th 2014 [sic]

Christine Chandler coming to you live from home once again. Eh, to start us off on this thing, I have a... Special dedication, from uh, George to his girlfriend Amber, personalized anniversary video.

Well George, you're lucky to have Amber, I'll tell you what. Anyways, so, anyway...

To Amber: "Happy anniversary! I love you so much. This has been the best six months of my life, and I owe it all to you. You make my life so wonderful, I hope this is only the beginning to the rest of our lives. From George to Amber."

Happy anniversary y'all. [''sigh''] Anyways, aside from that, umm, that's outta the way, umm, one or two... Things, right. Birthday Pikachu complete with the note, just like it says on my--just like on my listing. Complete with the anniversary--complete with the date and my signature when I received this very card... Sleeve and everything, s--see, right there, it has pictures on the listing, and I laminated... The pap--the slip--the inner slip. Two top loaders, taped together with double-sided and conferred on sides above--[sic] you can get them out from the top, simple as that.

And also, buy now, misprinted jungle Electrode, first edition! And shadowless, base set Charizard, the "Near-Holy Grail". I say "near" because it's not first edition. And - uhh - let's see what else. Oh! [''sigh''] Because of situations going on here at home between the finances and everything else, no comment on my personal life--[''whispering while he removes the glasses''] good grief... [''exhales''] I have to give panel my spot over at the OmegaCon over to somebody else... So, it's not--but I am gonna... Write a speech anyway and I'll present it in a future YouTube video.

Also, if you want uhh... [''mumbling to himself''] my brain's kinda--trying to... Stress! stress, anxiety, beep [sighs]... Well, anyway, so, alright, so, reminder that I'll do personal videos, for, uhh, 50 Dollars a pop, just like what I did for George and Amber there. But since my shop is down, I'll take it--the request via text message to my phone number which will be located right underneath this video. So, we'll-we'll do arrangements there, and I'll do the video recording and so on and so forth. Anyhow, hmm, uh, long day long day. [''sigh''] No comment on my personal life, uhn, no confirm or deny [sic] to rumours or fats [sic], whichever. Umm [''sigh''] Donations, really needed! Please help. I know, make it sound like a OneNote. But at least I'm offering a few updates right now, and I just did a video dedication and text message me and we'll set up some more. I find it easier to get--taking over text messages in here but anyway, very serious! Got pay me for--you gotta... Pay me... Like all that. Okay [''sigh''] anyway, that's it for now. Thank you and [''exhales''] have a good day. Have a good day!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]|nextlink=[[Paid Video Requests]]}}

{{Captain's Log}}

Update 1/29/2016 - There is NO PewDiePie or Felix here whatsoever

2021-09-14T00:42:59Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Update 1/29/2016 - There is NO PewDiePie or Felix here whatsoever''' is a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 29 [[January 2016]], in which Chris clarifies that he is not popular Let's Player [[PewDiePie]], so that [[weens]] stop sending emails to him addressed to PewDiePie/Felix. The odds of this plea being heeded are not good.

For what must be the thousandth time, Chris shows that he is [[slow in the minds|oblivious]] to many forms of [[trolling]], mislabeling being the case here. This video also implies that Chris was not previously aware of PewDiePie, which is bizarre considering how much time he spends online and that he himself is also a part of [[Chris and the Internet|Internet culture]].

Surprising no-one, Chris demonstrates his complete and utter inability to wrestle with Swedish orthography as he tries (and fails) to pronounce Felix's surname Anglo-phonetically. (It's [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lG3xeSU_EA&t=22s actually] pronounced "SHELL-berg".) While Chris struggling with language is [[Chris and English|hardly new]], Chris doesn't even decide on one incorrect version; he comes up with no fewer than three different pronunciations of "Kjellberg" in the span of three minutes: "Kuh-zhellberg", "Kilj-berg", and "Kill-berg".

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update 1/29/2016
| ytid = vPKWtPwnP4I
| stardate = 29 [[January 2016]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Cwcville Shopping|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{BlueTurtleneck|text}}
| saga = {{Selling Out|text}}
| previous = [[Update 1/25/2016]]
|next = [[Apologies for offending people]]
}}
{{quote|I thought, for a long time, I thought it was '''prank''' mail.|It was prank mail}}
'''Description'''
{{quotebox|This is Felix; he resides in the U.K.; NOT in Ruckersville, VA, United States of America.

[[wikipedia:PewDiePie|https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/PewDiePie]]

Please, Do Not Send any mail addressed to him to My home address.

via YouTube Capture
}}

== Transcript ==
''[Elevator music playing in background]''

Hello everybody on the internet today. Nuh- Once again, this is Christine Chandler coming to you live from... my own desk. ''[touches Sonichu [[Amiibo]]]'' My own figures and everything. Brought to you courteously from my own shop. ''[puts hand on binder with shop name]'' [[Etsy|Cwcville Shopping]]! ''[taps image on binder]'' Online and I have my own binder catalog as well, yadda yadda... Aaanyway, do shopping, whatever, all that good stuff.

I am making this video as of- uh- matter of- of- has come to my attention... for a while now, but it's of minor importance, but it's not um, tired of it, so I'm bringing it up. I want to bring up the uh, matter of one, uh, "Felix... Arvid... Ulf... Kjellberg" also known on the internet as "Pew... Die... Pie." I keep gettin- I'm- every now and then I keep getting mail that goes out to this guy. And, I have his Wikipedia article up here which I'll post the link to this below this video, but I mean- ''[holds phone to camera with PewDiePie's Wikipedia image on the screen]'' Seriously... Does this guy look anything like me? No! This is not me whatsoever! And I do not know this person at all! ''[pulls phone away]'' Lord- Lords know- Lord knows where he is but okay, yeah, he's reside- he's residing currently in the UK. And he was born in Sweden. Not Ruckersville, Virginia. This is not me. I am not this Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg or PewDiePie. You have the wrong address. Stop sending mail to this guy at my address. Okay? Cause it's annoying. I don't even know where this guy- and I do not know where this guy lives whatsoever. And I thought, for a long time, I thought it was '''prank''' mail. But I look him up on the internet today, and I find his Wikipedia article. So once again, ''[one of [[Clover and Snoopy|the dogs]] barks in background, Chris shows image on phone again and points at it]'' NOT this guy. ''[elbow hits binder and it falls over]'' Not Felix. ''[picks up binder and fixes it]'' He does not live here whatsoever. There is no Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg or PewDiePie here at 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, whatsoever. Okay? ''[pulls phone away]''

And, uh, let's see. I have more- I have uh, more money coming in and I'll be shipping everything out uh, after the weekend's over. I have some more things- I have some more medallions and whatever to make over the weekend. I'll get everything shipped out on about Monday. Thank you, and have a good, blessed day.

== See also ==
* [[Pewdiepie Does Not Live Here; He Lives In Sweden!]]
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Update 1/25/2016]]|nextlink=[[Apologies for offending people]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Update 1/25/2016

2021-09-14T00:42:59Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Update 1/25/2016''' is a video uploaded on the 25th of January, 2016. Chris, with a towel-[[Twin Falling Towers|turban]] wrapped around his head, claims that the snow is delaying delivery of his orders; afterwards, he reads a poem sent in by a fan named [[Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley|Karen Riley]]<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-update-1-25-2016-chris-comments-on-the-snowstorm-reads-a-poem-from-a-fan.16898/page-3#post-1233735</ref>.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update 1/25/2016
| ytid = 1JN4HjHjj7Q
| stardate = 25 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Cwcville Shopping|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{The Happy Hag|text}}
| saga = {{Selling Out|text}}
| previous = [[Update, 1/22/2016, and new items for Cwcville Shopping.]]
| next = [[Update 1/29/2016 - There is NO PewDiePie or Felix here whatsoever]]
}}
{{quote|Patience will be rewarded.}}

== Transcription ==

Hello. Good day once again to all my people on the internet. Christine Chandler coming to you live from house. Yep. And as I just posted and shared on my Facebook, it is literally up to my knees out there with snow; it was even taken past the street into the mailbox. It's gonna be quite longer before anyone gets the car out. So, might not be till the end of the week till I'm able to ship the recent orders out, but the patience will be rewarded. And I appreciate everybody's continued support and patience, and patience, as well as any new orders that come in.

And then we have another...on that note, I would like to present a poem from uh, from a fan who has, uh, made a request unto me, and this is an unpaid solicitation. So, anyways, uh, she writes:

<poem>"Dear Christine,
You've brought smiles to my face over the years,
I've felt so much joy at your triumphs,
And pain over your tears,
I first found you online only when I was fifteen,
And found you the most fun online [pauses] person that I've ever seen,
I know you haven't had...haven't had it easy,
So often life has been tough,
But you stayed true to yourself,
And that's the thing I love,
So stay happy Christine,
Appreciate the good, ignore the rest,
There's still a true fan like me out there,
Who always thinks you're the best."</poem>

That...that's very nice and lovely. Thank you.

Anyway, so, that's about it for today. I'm continuing work on the orders and everything, I'll have as much as I can shipped out, right after I get out of the house by about the end of the week. Y'all have a great, safe day. Thank you.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Update, 1/22/2016, and new items for Cwcville Shopping.]]|nextlink=[[Update 1/29/2016 - There is NO PewDiePie or Felix here whatsoever]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Update 1/17/2016

2021-09-14T00:42:58Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Update 1/17/2016''' is a video uploaded on the 17th of January, 2016. Here, Chris passive-aggressively expresses his rage and envy about Francine Ouzuo having a lesbian slumber party exactly like his, and the fact that apparently, everyone is choosing Francine's over his.

At this point, Chris has taken to [[Chris and money|panhandling]] for his primary source of [[Monthly tugboat|income]]. In addition, it seems that Chris now has a new troll on his hands in Ouzuo, as this is the third video (and second in consecution) where Chris has voiced grievances with this person despite no such person evidently existing.

As with the prior videos, Chris seems to be [[Chris and gender|in two minds]] about the legitimacy of Ouzuo's trans status; in this video Chris refers to them as "Jeff" but also as "she".

Chris appears to have filmed this video hastily during the midst of an [[Amiibo]] creation-fest, as several Mii Fighters without their bases are lying on the desk, and a half-finished [[Autism]] Amiibo is also present.

It seems that Chris has revived the famous [[Captain's Log]] series under the more mundane title, "Update". This style of naming videos is very similar to how Chris led into his Sagas, eventually having the titles devolve into mindless raving and ranting.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update 1/17/2016
| ytid = 7GTT3J9fOhQ
| stardate = 17 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{BlueClopperShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Selling Out|text}}, {{Lady Managers|text}}
| previous = [[Update 01/12/2016]]
|next =[[Update, 1/22/2016, and new items for Cwcville Shopping.]]
}}
{{quote|More orders would be appreciated as well as donations}}
== Transcription ==

Hello, and good day once again my fellow people! I am here at my desk and I am... working on the figures. Still catching up I am getting so much closer, I'm just about done with catching up with the orders. But... still could use some more money coming in so... more orders would be appreciated as well as donations. But anyway... it's all going well and good.

And uh, also... yes... I'm retracting my previous engagement in the video and uhh... [''tone becoming extremely sarcastic''] I hereby announce that you should totally go to Jeff's party. It will be so off... the hook. I mean... it's totally not a bullshit imitation of ''my'' party. Bullshit imitation. Like mine would be so much better, or like his would be much better than mine. No difference. Oh yeah, and Jeff is totally a super nice gal and all... Not a total asshole. So contact Mistress Jeff... if you want more details on going to her party. Yeah... Totally off the haps, off the ropes and everything.

[''abruptly ceases sarcastic tone''] That's about it for right now, thank you everybody. Have a good, safe day. If you get some snow outside, well, make sure you're parked with the windshield facing the sun in the early morning. In other words, facing the east. So you'll have a more melted windshield quickly. Thank you.

[''Five seconds of silence as Chris fiddles with his remote to stop the recording'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Update 01/12/2016]]|nextlink=[[Update, 1/22/2016, and new items for Cwcville Shopping.]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Update 02/16/2016

2021-09-14T00:42:57Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Update 2/16/2016''' is a video created by [[Christian|Chris]] on the 16th of February, 2016. In it, he makes a redoubled attempt to entice his fanbase into sending him a PS4 ([[Remorse|having apologised for doing this]] [[Apologies for offending people|'''four days prior''']]) by prattling about how he always delivers his Amiibos on time, [[Update 1/25/2016|which he doesn't]]. He then promises to have a live stream once he gets the PS4 (Note that he had already purchased [[Chris and brand loyalty|Little Big Planet 3]] despite not owning the system at the time), featuring his own commentary on the [[Autism Tutorial]], and yet again nonchalantly uses a transgender slur. He rambles on about the Amiibo for a while longer, and then voices his support for Hillary Clinton ([[Naïve|whom he compares to Sarah Palin]]), heavily implying he's only voting for her because she's female. The video ends with yet another plea for the PS4.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update 2/16/2016
| ytid = ix0gk5C589Y
| stardate = 17 [[February 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Cwcville Shopping|text}}, {{(Handouts)|text}}, {{Politics|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{Thepromoter|text}}
| saga = {{Selling Out|text}}
| previous = [[Welcome to the LGBTQ Group, Julia]]
|next = [[Update: 2/25/16]]
}}
{{quote|Send me a PS4 and camera for that 500 dollar voucher.}}

==Description==
{{quotebox|http://www.etsy.com/shop/CwcvilleShop...

Free #4 Book with CWC Figure Purchase (or Graduon or Slaweel) with Coupon Code: FEB241982

Couples and BFF Figure Specials extended to February 29, 2016.}}

== Transcription ==

Hello everybody, good day. Welcome to the Cwcville guardian channel, the official and main source for everything [[Sonichu_(character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] and the city of Cwcville, Virginia. And myself, Christine Weston Chandler, the past now Christian Weston Chandler.

Uh... so yeah, this time we're doing a few updates... of which, um... among... among which to... definitely make the, uh... gift of the Playstation 4 console and the camera... to make more appealing. I still ge- I'll still- I'm still offering the five hundred dollar voucher which I could defiddedly, uh personally guarantee delivery as such. Now all that, we take a look at my history, I have been able to fulfill most every order within the amount of time- very much since I started on eBay and more recently I put a shop on Etsy.

''Chris pauses briefly, reaching for a case containing Little Big Planet 3.''

And, uh... also.. ahh... Let's do this! Alright. They will be playing three- the first video I live ''stream'' to my Playstation ''Four'' after I get it. I'll comment on the autism tutorial, all seven parts, that's counting the extra. To the Playstation 4 version of Little Big Planet 3. And after I figure out the livestreaming and everything ''more authentic'' than... the other... '''[[Jeff Ouzuo|tranny]]'''. Let's just leave it at that. Hmm (''Chris mumbles something under his breath'') jeez. Anyways, so- Playstation 4! Fivefour five hundred dollar Playstation Four and... PS4 camera. Four five hundred dollar voucher. That first video being livestreamed of commentary on the autism tutorial.

''Chris sets the case down on the desk, before reaching for the Playstation Vita and turning it's screen towards the camera.''

Aaand speaking of Playstation let's talk a little bit about the Vita. I know they sayin lately in the stores that this poor thing is still... very functional between on the Playstation 4 and 3 with the remote play and everything. And there's still software coming out... for the Vita. So ''whahh'' iss... the software and the Vita system getting pretty much the bum's rush... defiddedly everywhere. I even found one... in a... short the distance [[GameStop]] nearby.. recently. So... bring back some more bring back Vita software! Don't give it the bum's rush! Keep it new, keep it fresh! Keep it real!... Alright? And also a fun fact: If Nintendo had not refused Play-... Sony's offer on that CD- uhh addatation to the Super Nintendo, there wouldn't be a Playstation. It's... or, there might not be. Otherwise if they had, it might have been (''voice becomes high pitched'') Nintendo Playstation! Whee! Hm...(''voice returns to Fem Chris'') Could you imagine the eShop and the Playstation shop being the same way? Heh... Amiibo functionality!

''Chris taps the surface of his custom [[Sonichu_(character)|Sonichu]] [[Amiibo]] to the screen of his Playstation Vita, eliciting no response from the console.''

On the Vita, wouldn't have been something. (''Chris quietly hums.'') I kid, I kid, I just a little bit uh... hm, what else, what else. Oh yeah, uh among the offers on the... quick bill shopping.

''Chris holds up his custom [[Sonichu_(character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] Amiibo up to the camera.''

Still.. going on for a little while longer: the Couples Specials those sets for a discounted price. For the two, for the multiple figures- more than one. Still going up for a limited time. And to, uh...

''Chris sets the amiibo back onto the desk. He reaches out of view, before reaching back and showing a solid three ring binder with more amiibo on top of it. He sets the amiibo down on the desk.''

(''under his breath'') We gotta rearrange them, here...

''Chris shows the front of the binder, which has an atrocious drawing of Christian and the Sonichu logo overhead.''

Right. Before the, uh...

''Chris opens the binder, showing the first page. The drawing is the same.''

...the collaboration of all those sub episodes plus the few new ones to end that set is available on my- is available for print and distribution and everything.

''Chris closes the binder, setting it under the desk.''

But I have a special offer extended only up to from now to March 17th. Hmm... buy any... figure or ''figures''... of myself... including but not limited to the, uh... current me, as well as the old me- short, or tall. I'd definitely recommend going for the spend the extra twenty bucks to get the little chip that picture ''my Mii''. Cause you don't want to end up playing against a Link or a Toon Link. Yeah, between those and the... Yeah I knew there was (''incomprehensible gibberish'') the three pack featuring me and... Christian and Sonichu or... me and my parents! And also avai- and also available for that, uh... purchasing either [[Mary_Lee_Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]] or [[Count Graduon]] as they are featured in the book as well. [[Jerkops]] and [[Janekops]] do not apply for this offer! There is a coupon code which is simply my birthdate: FEB241982... to get free book #4 with purchase of my pi-- my pictures of my figures. Of... you know, me, my family, as well as Slaweel, and Graduon. Between those and the book, they must be in the cart at the same time for the coupon code to work. Feb... 24... 1982. And I'll be sure to have the links and that typed up in the description below this video.

(''mumbles under his breath'')Hm... anything else I want to bring up...

Um... (''voice cracks'') alright, well we can talk tolitics (sic) a little bit, I mean... I hah... sincerely p-pray and hope that Hillary Clinton will... still be in the running for President on the upcoming elections, cause... I definitely would apply for Sarah Palin... back in eight years ago... 2008. That she had still been running. But now I have to end up choosing between McCain and Obama... and I watched both their documentaries and ended up with Obama cause I felt he was... relatable.. the sense of his suffering and everything... I could feel for that as well. But... I feel like American needs a woman's touch finally after all these years... So... Hillary Clinton! Stay in the polls! We want you for President! I want you for President! Cause if you're not running, I'd have to vote for the other... '''males'''.

(''Chris shakes his head.'')

I got nothing against them personally but, still. Thissa- This nation needs a woman's touch. And... (''brief pause, staring into space'') that's about all I have on my mind right now, thank you very much and have a good and safe day everyone... so, yeah. Couple's Special still going on... Free book with the purchase of... me. And, uh... Send me a PS4 and camera for that 500 dollar voucher. And the first video will be the autism video tutorial commentary... personally. Thank you very much. Have a good day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Welcome to the LGBTQ Group, Julia]]|nextlink=[[Update: 2/25/16]]}}

{{PoliticalVideos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Update 01/12/2016

2021-09-14T00:42:57Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Update 01/12/2016''' was, of course, created on 12 January 2016. In this video, Chris pouts enviously because someone else is holding a lesbian sleepover party, and [[Hypocrisy|ironically]] gets upset that someone is [[Copyright|ripping off]] [[Brand loyalty|his merchandise]], claiming infringement left and right. His foe, the person both allegedly holding the sleepover and selling merchandise, is the "Francine" character he [[Doxing Jeff/Francine|doxxed in November]]. Now, as then, he refers to Francine as "he-she" or simply "he" and by her male name, showing exactly how deep his professed new attitudes on LGBT affairs run.

Chris took the video down before long for unknown reasons.

== Description ==
{{quotebox|I Do NOT endorse Ouzuo's Sleepover Party at all.}}

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update 01/12/2016
| ytid = EnbjREQxSwY
| stardate = 12 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{The Happy Hag|text}}
| saga = {{Lady Managers|text}}
| previous = [[Announcement and update 1/12/2016]]
|next =[[Update 1/17/2016]]
}}
{{quote|he has been requested to pay me in royalties and hasn't done so yet.|Chris, legitimately believing anyone was going to give him 120K of royalties<ref>At 0:50 in [[Thank You, Jeff, and I accept your apology.]]</ref>}}

== Transcription ==
''Chris's voice is unusually quiet, and his expression is warped. He's clearly upset.''

Hello everybody, good evening. ''*[[Stress sigh|sigh]]*'' I am in a bit of a mood right now, not to upset my current business inputs and whatnot, buuut...

''Chris inhales sharply''

I want to make a few thi- I want to make one thing perfectly clear, uh, with the, uh, individual... er, who is migrating between male to female Jeff/Francine Ouzuo's over in Seattle, Washington... hmm, has pra- has pretended to ''be'' me and er, made knockoff merchandise on my which and uh, he has... be- he has been requested to pay me in royalties and hasn't done so yet. Also uh...

''Chris breathes deeply.''

His infringement on the use of my Sonichu character is still being- is under quite debate, especially since because... I have not personally authorized or agreed to most anything yet, of him using my characters and likene- and likeness and whatnot. So therefore everything he is selling on his stores online...

'''No good.''' 'Specially by MY viewpoint. Aaaand... in his own strange mind, in his ide- he has the idea of quote/unquote I'm sharing the rights to Sonichu with him, TO-tally false. That is not the case at all.

And also, also upon which-AH, he is infringing on my Sonichu rights as well, including-ah, as including as stated in this invitations to his upcoming par- ''*video cuts*'' up- his upcoming party, claiming of a quote/unquote new Sonichu amiibo figure, he's playing off an old- playing off the old standby fake, because it's only using the default "Sonic" pose, and y'all know the pose I put my- put the official Sonichu figures IN, and as they SHOULD be... He's totally infringing.

So, to recap... Jeff Ouzuo's... Francine Ouzuo's... needs to be taken down... still- st- He-she still needs to pay the royalties to me very much, aaand do not go to his/her party whatsoever.

That's about it... Thank you and have a good, safe day 'n' night.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Announcement and update 1/12/2016]]|nextlink=[[Update 1/17/2016]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Update: 2/25/16

2021-09-14T00:42:55Z

Resrsc: archive

"'''Update: 2/25/16'''" was, unsurprisingly, uploaded by [[Chris]] on 25 [[February 2016]] (one day after [[Christian Love Day|he turned 34]]).

His attempt to get people to buy a [[Sony|PS4]] for him predictably failed; instead, people sent him several gift cards with no money on them (as well as a non-winning lottery ticket, which some have said is a perfect metaphor for Chris's life). He complains about not getting what he wanted like a [[Borb|spoilt child]], even ending the video with a petulant "thanks for nothing".

What caught many Christorians off guard was that Chris seems to have [[Chris and his ego|seriously]] [[Chris and reality|expected]] a stranger to throw hundreds of dollars at him for no reason other than that it was his birthday and he asked for it, with such confidence he would be obliged that not receiving a PS4 seems to have [[Crash into slumber|shocked him into a depressive state]]. These implicit assumptions are troubling as they indicate that months of receiving payments of as much as $1000 in exchange for little to no effort on his part have only worsened his already devastating entitlement issues. In light of this, there is perhaps no greater gift anyone could have given Chris this year than nothing at all.

He also seems to have taken [[CatKnight Interview 3|Arthur Spatchcock's advice]], and gave the fans the official voices of cartoon-adapted [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic Christine]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] within this video. Finally the fans know what Sonichu's real voice is, and of course, it's pretty much Chris', but somehow even more [[Slow-in-the-minds|dumb]].

He also gets mad at ''[[South Park]]: The Stick of Truth'' because Cartman repeatedly calls the player character a "douchebag" (which Chris [[Autism|takes as a personal insult]]) - ignoring the fact that Cartman has always been characterized as an [[Chris|obnoxious jackass]], and that this is far from the worst thing he has done (c.f. "{{w|Scott Tenorman Must Die}}", which [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails#Aftermath|he has referenced before]]).

[[Random-access humor]] and [[Donald Duck impersonation|horrible impersonations]] also return, most of which are curtailed from [[CWC 3D Voice Check|two of]] [[Cheesy!|his old]] [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]] (with the exception of Bing Bong from ''{{w|Inside Out (2015 film)|Inside Out}}'').

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update: 2/25/16
| ytid = -xm2o4rDrmg
| stardate = 25 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| subject = {{Video games|text}}, {{Cwcville Shopping|text}}
| shirt = {{BigRedSweater|text}}
| saga = {{Selling Out|text}}
| previous = [[Update 02/16/2016]]
| next = [[Chris's Specimen Sample]]
}}
{{quote|I certainly did not receive a PlayStation 4 console.}}

</center>

==Description==
{{Quotebox|Watch, Subscribe, and Watch again for more videos, Only on Cwcville Guardian: the Official and Authentic Source for a lot about Sonichu, as well as the author herself, Christine Weston Chandler.

Voucher for Destiny White PS4 Bundle (no PS4 Camera required) Offer extended to March 5, 2016.

[[Etsy|http://www.etsy.com/shop/CwcvilleShop...]]

Coupon Code: FEB241982

Free Sonichu #4 Book with purchase of CWC Figure(s) (see earlier video for details; Expires March 17, 2016)}}

==Transcript==
''[Chris drops something on his desk as the video starts. Worth noting is that both the [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are on his desk.]''

Hello, and welcome to another day... 'ere on the CwcvilleGuardian channel... [''sigh''] Christine Chandler here... alright, so... Mm. [''Chris begins fiddling with his glasses''] Aight, so yesterday was my 34th birthday... um... I ''have'' re''ceived''... and I... do ''not'' pro''mote'' such dishonesty... Gift cards that have... no activation... and no value or money on them at all. And also, I have received... another... piece of mail. This one had... a scratched-off lottery ticket that was ''not''--that was clearly not a winner. [''Chris licks his lips''] Alright?

And I certainly did not receive a PlayStation 4 console... [[Chris and English|even much less]] the white one with the ''Destiny'' game and all that... Still, I move forward, so... mm.

[''Chris reaches for something off-camera'']

Um which I'm gonnak do something different today!

[''Chris pulls back, revealing he was reaching for [[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Post 2011 Christine Weston Chandler Amiibo Figure (from Original Creator)|his tomgirl self-insert amiibo]].'']

Okay, a little voice acting.

[''Chris grabs all three of the amiibo on his desk, then sets Rosechu down.'']

Alright, so if it was a cartoon series, I would definitely be voicing myself and Sonichu, and this is how we'd sound like--mm.

[''Chris rocks the figures back and forth as they "speak".'']

'''Christine:''' Hey, Sonichu, what's new?

'''Sonichu:''' [''sounding like Chris's regular voice, only slightly higher pitched''] Hey, mama, whatchu ''know?'' I'm doing OK with my wife, Rosey. [''Chris slides her figure slightly closer to the others.'']

'''Rosechu:''' [''in falsetto''] Hello!

[''Chris breaks character for a moment'']

I'd get a femal-- I'd get a fem... woman to voice Rosechu for real. I don't know, somebody that sounds like... or similar ''to''... I dunno maybe, [[Britney Spears]] or... Katy Perry, or... hell, Meghan Trainor. I like her voice too. Mm.

''[Chris resumes voice acting]''

'''Christine:''' ''Ennnh'' yeah, yesterday was my [[birthday]]! So... I had low expectations for it, and I didn't get much about it... except... pretty much... birthday greetings, word of mouth, AND I had to buy my own cupcakes!

'''Sonichu:''' [''Chris's regular voice''] Oh that's a sha-- [''slips back into "Sonichu" voice''] Ohhh that's a shame, man! Mom! That's a shame, mom! Enh... Oh well! You get older, you find that people are not gonna care... as much about ya.

'''Christine:''' Enh... They only care about you on your own... [''Chris slams figure of himself face first into desk''] death bed. [''flips figure to lie face up on desk, starts spinning it around''] So that's ''anurr'' year on the old odometer. [''inhales somewhat disgustedly, picks figure of himself upright again, and starts screeching while wobbling figure back and forth'']

'''Sonichu:''' [''unintelligible, though clearly adding to Christine's screeching'']

'''Christine:''' [''more screeching'']

[''licks lips as he finishes voice acting'']

Yeah. [''blows a soft, sad raspberry'']

Hmm. Alright, um... also, um, those of you who have been watching my [[Playstation Network]] activity, you'd notice I've ha-had to go through my whole disk library once again, just because I've ended up having to... reformat my hard drive... after I... because of a corrupted... ''firmware file'' on it, that's... upsetting, but I've got that settled and fixed and... all the... games have been reinstalled and the DLC re-downloaded and everything, so... mm, [''dissolves to gibberish''] meh bdep blep bleh.

[''sigh'']

And yet, still no PS... 4! 'Cause I need to... catch back up! In the technology and everything. [''sigh''] Although, last night I did pu-- I did, uh-- I had-- already had purchased it on current, a copy of South Park: Stick of Truth. It's pretty good... the onl-- my only d-- the only downside that I really... did not like was, uh... actually two things. Could not be a girl! So I had to make the ''boy'' look like a girl. So that's one way of promoting being a transwoman. You dress up the new kid as a girl! And that wor-- And that works out. Mm.

And then also-- second part, I really... don't-- I really do not care for Cartman's attitude as well... and... it's not funny at all. [''stammers''] Y-yo-eh... You-- I enter my name as the character name, and get-- then he calls me... "Douchebag!" [''shakes head disapprovingly''] Seriously, Cartman... [''raises voice, noticeably agitated''] I'm the player! I'm gonna make progress in this game! [''starts bashing figure of himself against desk as he rants''] So don't you dare call me... a ''douchebag''! [''slams figure one last time, pauses seeming to calm down'']

Ehh, well... [''exhales frustratedly through pursed lips''] and y'know... meanwhile... what else? [''struggles to think of topics to discuss''] What else, what else? [''small sigh''] Ahh, what else? ''[pause]'' What else?

I don't know much else, my brain's gone blank. Unngh... I have so much inside if-- built, poked[?] and pent up to my life, so it's no wonder my mind is constantl-- is constantly off and on blank. ''[blows small raspberry]''

Enngh... I'm sorry I can't b-- I'm sorry I'm... not so funny, but... if I ca-- if I don't feel it, then it just doesn't come up... as easily.

Oh well! In a trial of being funny... [playful voice] And now for some [[Random Access Humor|random, silly things]]!

''[pause as he thinks]''

Hey look, a monkey. Hi, monkey! Aaaaaaah! Quit throwin' me outta the damn plane![?]

''[Chris repeats it, because it was so good the first time]''

Hi, monkey! Aaaah! Quit throwin' me outta the damn plane!

''[long pause]''

It's plays out better in my head. It doesn't actually have characters.

Ehh, what else is there? Alright... well redoing vocal impressions.

And now here's [[Cheesy!|Cheese]] from ''{{w|Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends}}'':

''[grating, nasally voice]'' I like chocolate milk! Tinkle tinkle in the car, you should really use a jar! Prizes![?] I like cereal! I'm not a tampon! My name is Cheese! Do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again!

[lower voice] Autobots! Transform, and roll out! Ffff--

[restrained voice] I'm [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Meatwad]], a ball of meat. Ffff--

[nasally voice, similar to last one] Egegegegegegegegeg. I speak Spanish, every day! Ffff--

[silly voice] Stop in the name of the law! Sorry about that chief!

[lower silly voice] [[Monty Python|Monty Python's Flying Idiots!]] ''[raspberry, starts singing tune]'' Nununununununununununununu.

[sings different tune] Bing Bong, Bing Bong, who's the friend that likes to play? ''[picks up figures and dances them around the desk]'' Bing Bong, Bing Bong, nanananananana! Bing Bong, Bing Bong, entertainment value! Bing Bong, Bing Bong... ''[peters out, keeps dancing figures around for a bit]''

Alright, well anyway... subscribe! Subscribe to my channel to get updates on... well, me, Sonichu, my store on [[Etsy]], Cwcville Shopping... and, uh... everything else nearly related, ''ourgh''-- or of interest.

''[sigh]''

I'm stuck in a... moody mode, so... oh well. Right, so... thanks for the mail and then... [[Chris and his ego|thanks for nothing]]! Alright. Well, be another update... in about a week or s-- week or... give or take. Have a good day, thank you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Update 02/16/2016]]|nextlink=[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Update, 1/22/2016, and new items for Cwcville Shopping.

2021-09-14T00:42:55Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Update, 1/22/2016, and new items for Cwcville Shopping.''' is a video uploaded on the 22nd of January, 2016.

The video mainly deals with a few new items for his Etsy shop: Zapina and Rosechu figures, minifigures for both the past and present incarnations of his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic form]], and a Lego car and jet (which he dubiously intends to reproduce in CADD). Chris comments that the coming snowstorm will help him focus on the shop, as if [[Chris and reality|he was anywhere close to busy beforehand]]. Near the close of the video, he also briefly addresses recent events with Francine, giving [[Chris and remorse|astonishing 6-second moment of silence.]]

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update, 1/22/2016, and new items for Cwcville Shopping.
| ytid = -PrCTXmgsus
| stardate = 22 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}, {{Cwcville Shopping|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{The Happy Hag|text}}
| saga = {{Selling Out|text}}, {{Lady Managers|text}}
| previous = [[Update 1/17/2016]]
|next = [[Update 1/25/2016]]
}}
{{quote|Definitely need some more money coming in, we're kind of a bit short on the whatever this month.}}

== Transcription ==
Ah, yes.

Hello, good morning, or good evening—whatever it is. It's morning right here right now. Christine Chandler coming to you live with another update.

[''Chris leans down to pet Lucy'']
Oh, calm down Lucy; I'm making a video right now. Little kitty. I love you. [''unintelligible''] Talk to you later.

[''sigh''] Anyway, um... so, I have new—few more figures that, uh, I'm going to be putting on the shop later today. Uh, have not—still have not been able to..make the, uh, design the back cards yet, but I will do that if, eh, orders will commence. And that includes the Sonee and Rosey figures, which—they will be 20 dollars apiece, or 1—2 for 30 dollars, so, one of each or two of each. But that's, uh, to be determined in the list—in the listing and whatever people want. And then there's also Zapina Rosechu; young best—young best friend and, uh, Padawan to, uh... Simonla Rosechu. And then also we have—also we will have, uh, Simonla's and, uh, Wild's daughter Sandy Rosechu. You've seen these on my Facebook page, I'll be putting these on my Etsy shop later today. Yeah, and I made this, uh, nice lovely little carrying case between the—combining the, uh, Technic-type, Technic slotted amibricks, and a bunch of Technic bricks. It works [[Chris and English|pretty good]] for carrying around the whole lot. Definitely easier than the big thing—than the bulky thing that I was using before.

Also, something else that I'm considering adding to, uh, my shop, I'll let y'all c—I'll let y'all... decide whether or not, I'll give them a trial basis—but I'll give y'all an opportunity to purchase, uh, my own custom minifigure; whether you want the [[Virgin with rage|past]] or the [[Chris and gender|present]] versions of me. I'll get the, uh, individual pieces to make each figure, and, uh, combine them—I'll... put a skirt on either one, definitely: took the one of of this one and put it on to this one, but anyway, mmm, I'll make a me—tiny mediallion image to slap on there, and optionally, for only a little bit extra, I'll add a base that, uh, will allow you to put—will allow you to play the ''Portal 2'' character Chell in ''[[Lego]] Dimensions'', which I bidi—which I find out to be my favorite character in the game.

And also, speaking of ''Lego Dimensions'', uh, I also would like to mention my little car that I've made out of previous models. Um, I'll have to figure out how I originally put this together and put it together in the CADD designer, and, uh, I might put this on there as well. But I did make a small version that I could put onto the dimension's base, and, uh, on the chip I put the, uh, DeLorean. Just about everything unlocked on there.

I also built my eagle jet—I call it the, uh, Thunder Eagle—Lightning Eagle, um, I'll get—I'll figure it out definitely, but anyway, it's a cut—it's a combination of, uh, Ninjago and... Chima jet, I mean—actually have that thing still roosting on top of my house. But this is like a miniature version, I saved, uh, Aerosys Eagle Interceptor onto the chip here as well. I'm considering putting these onto Etsy as well.

Anyway, I'll, uh, leave comments open, between my Facebook pa—on my, I'll leave the comments open on the Facebook post, of which I shared this video onto, and I'll listen to your comments about, uh, those options.

Uh, thinking about for on the little minifigures, I might do 10 dollars plus shipping per figure, and, I don't know, maybe an extra 2 or 5 dollars for the base, I'll have to check on eBay or wherever for the price of just the base.

Anyway, aside from that: definitely need some more money coming in, we're kind of a bit short on the whatever this month. Yeah, but anyway we're doing OK mostly. And we got a big snowstorm coming in, expected this weekend, so that definitely [[Chris and English|give]] me time to put together any new orders that come out recently and today.

Alright, so, link to the shop is underneath this video. Thank you very much for your continuing support. On one more note, I will add, which I have commented about recently on the Facebook, I would like to extend my most formal, vocal, and emotional apologies to Jeff, whose, uh, fate has pretty much become unfortunate. I do feel sorry for her, very much. So, just a moment of silence right here. [''6 seconds of silence''] And I do thank her for her little support and interest for everything Sonichu and Rosechu and myself, that I've been making since 2007.

Mmkay. Thank you very much and have a good day.
[''Selfie-remote button fails''] Ugh, this button...

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Update 1/17/2016]]|nextlink=[[Update 1/25/2016]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Unicorns Rainbows and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 3

2021-09-14T00:42:52Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 3''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 29 [[June 2016]].

==Video==
{{Transcript}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Unicorns Rainbows and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 3
| ytid = h2tbxns4Dig
| stardate = 29 [[June 2016]]
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Financhu Crisis}} [[Financhu Crisis]]
| shirt = {{White Tomgirl with Heart|text}}
| previous = [[Announcement 06292016#Announcement 06292016-2|Announcement 06292016-2]]
| next = [[Rainbows Unicorns and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 4]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|The second part in a multipart series to read this story.

I learned of, and cleared up, the block on my PayPal account last night. So, please, try donating again if you tried and was unable to. And, please donate, everyone who hasn't yet.

Donations still requested.
Please send donations directly to me via PayPal to my email address: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com. Thank you.

If you don't know how, watch this video.
https://youtu.be/wPYVhPe_PTQ

If you are unable to send via PayPal, please send a legal check with the amount to my home address.
Christine Chandler
14 Branchland Ct.
Ruckersville, VA 22968}}

==Transcript==

[''PS4 Intro'']

Hello everybody! This is chapter three in our v-log of uh, reading bluebird, happy unicorns rainbows and bluebirds of happiness. So, here we go. Chapter three. Hm. ''Suffer the children.'' Hm.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Announcement 06292016]]|nextlink=[[Rainbows Unicorns and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 4]]}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Rainbows, Unicorns, and a Bluebird of Happiness]]

UVA Remembers Pulse

2021-09-14T00:42:48Z

Resrsc: archive

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[File:Chris at UVA Remembers Pulse.jpg|At the event, wearing the Sonichu medallion and holding the [[Love is Love]] comic.|thumb]]

'''UVA Remembers Pulse''' was an event held by [[University of Virginia]] students in [[June 2017]] to pay tribute to the victims of the 2016 Pulse nightclub shooting.

Chris attended, bringing with him Sonichu paraphernalia: the Medallion, a [[SLGBTQ]] Sonichu drawing, the cover page for [[Sonichu 12]], a framed photoshop drawing of Chris and his parents mingling with Sonichu characters, and a short written piece which he read during the open mic.

==News interview==
He was interviewed by the local NBC station, which quoted him in an article and on video.<ref>http://www.nbc29.com/story/35648491/uva-students-hold-memorial-service-for-pulse-nightclub-victims</ref> Incidentally, this is the same station that interviewed him about the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].

{{quotebox|"Do not hate. Hate is not so good and to be paranoid is a bust. Feel love that comes from us and try to feel love that you can offer at least from within yourselves, for yourselves", Christine Chandler, who attended, said.}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = UVA Students Hold Memorial Service for Pulse Nightclub Victims
| ytid = n062B5gurp0
| stardate = 12 [[June 2017]]
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| subject = {{Homos|SLGBTQ}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Poetic Letter]]
| next = [[CLog 06142017]]
}}
{{quote|Feel the love that comes from us and try to feel love that you can offer at least from within yourselves for yourselves.}}

==The event==

The organizers wrote the following description for the event, stating its purpose was for the community to reflect on the tragedy by creating tributes for the victims in the form of art.

{{quotebox|The student body at the University of Virginia encourages a gathering of the entire Charlottesville community to pay tribute to the 49 victims who lost their lives a year ago at Pulse nightclub. This Pulse remembrance event will be a time for everyone to join in solidarity and give honor to those who lost their lives to senseless violence. It is a time for reflection and a time to promote equality and diversity in our community.

<nowiki>** We will gather at the UVA Rotunda steps facing University Avenue **</nowiki>

7pm-8pm 
Reflection on Pulse: An opportunity to create art and share tributes to the 49 victims.

8pm-9pm 
UVA Remembers: A ceremony honoring the 49 victims and celebrating diversity and equality. Reading of the names and an open mic for all to share.<ref>https://www.facebook.com/events/1728191157474052/</ref>}}

Chris, on the other hand, decided to write a piece on his [[Tomgirl|transgender]] identity.<ref>[[Patreon#Poetic Letter]]</ref>

[[File:Poetic Letter for UVA Remembers Pulse.jpeg|Chris read this aloud to the crowd.|thumb]]

{{quotebox|I feel for y’all, my friends, family & allies in this lifetime of ours. Lost and confused is this point of our lives where we are meant to be; where DO we belong in our local communities; with minds gone blank like a fully erased paper? We are left with the remants of what we had thought of, before impulsively lost in time. I, too, was there during the times y’all were bullied, broken, and beat up bad. The times we’ve sought for new friendships to later, maybe, find truest love from one within. And, yet our efforts were mistaken for something sordid. The love, or lack thereof, from those who raised and taught you as y’all grew up. Left with time for ourselves, we’ve searched within our own personal depths. Soon enough, we not only have found ourselves, but we three, Child, Teen, & Adult, combined, worked out our ideas, taking our time; we continues onward in our life from how we were born, towards who we are meant to be this whole lifetime. I will continue onward, the stronger soul; woman that We ARE, for being boy was a lingering downfall. Someday, I will find our destined Sweetheart & Truest Love, while feeling the Love from within; from Child, from Teen, from Me.}}

<center><gallery>
File:Chris's gear for the UVA Remembers Pulse event 1.jpeg|The stuff he brought with him.
File:Chris's gear for the UVA Remembers Pulse event 2.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Transcript==

'''Newsreader:''' The University of Virginia community is also honoring the victims of that mass shooting one year ago. New tonight the student body at UVA hosted a memorial service to honor the 49 victims who lost their lives at the Nightclub in Orlando, Florida. This all unfolded on the steps of the Rotunda, along University Avenue. The two-hour-long event included an opportunity for people to create art, and share their tributes. 

'''Chris:''' Do not hate, hate is not so good and to be paranoid is a bust. Feel the love that comes from us and try to feel love that you can offer at least from within yourselves for yourselves. 

'''Newsreader:''' People also read out the names of those killed out loud during the ceremony. The event helped to promote equality and diversity. 

==References==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos]]|prevlink=[[Poetic Letter]]|nextlink=[[CLog 06142017]]}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2017]]

UltimateNightmare

2021-09-14T00:41:36Z

Resrsc: archive

'''[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D6047619382_000?in=user UltimateNightmare]''' is the first actual animation [[Chris]] posted on [[Flipnote Hatena]], on 21 [[June 2010]]. When it was first posted, many [[trolls]]' initial reaction was that Chris's account had been hacked, simply because the animation was so vastly removed from standard Chris fare. It still sucked, though. Some things are constant.

The weirdly creepy video features nothing but a stickman going through a simple walking animation, but never actually moving forward, while a high-pitched squeal (likely provided by Chris himself) loops in the background. The title, [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"Ultimate Nightmare"]] suggests that Chris's worst fear is nothing good being on [[Chris and television|TV]], a specter not quite as terrifying as [[Mailbag 39|a macabre death factory]], Considering how much time Chris spends watching [[Netflix]], though, his worries are not entirely unsurprising. Amazingly, this [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|isn't the first time Chris has used a repetitive series of beeps to play through his amateur animation]].

For those of you who care, if the stick figure is walking a mile at the rate of 1/8 of a millimeter per hour, then it will reach the end on 20 March 3479.

It's possible that this was a test in hand-drawn animation, something Chris had not been known to dabble in previously. Given his practice of never bothering to review or edit his work, it's likely he uploaded it without knowing how broken it is, and was just too lazy to go back and fix it.

==Description==

{{quotebox|On All Channels, a person walking a Whole Mile at a rate of 1/8 Millimeter Per Hour, with only a Monotone Beep that goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on.....}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/Flipnote
| name = UltimateNightmare
| ytid = r29WxgOScXk
| stardate = 21 [[June 2010]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}, {{Flipnote|text}}
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Don'tGetTrolled]]
}}

===Transcript===

[''A stick figure goes through a three-frame looping animation while a continuous beep sounds ion in the background.'']

[''At the thirty-second point, the scene is replaced by white letters on a black background, reading "One Hour Later". On the original site, this could be set to loop, showing that hour after hour the stick figure never made it anywhere.'']

[[Category: Flipnote Hatena| 2010-06-21]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, June 2010| 2010-06-21]]

{{Flipnotes}}

U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L

2021-09-14T00:36:33Z

Resrsc: archive

[[File:Chris chan creep.jpg|thumb|Chris, performing some sort of unholy chanting.]]

"'''U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L'''" is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 15 January 2010. The video title, written in some kind of reversed [[Wikipedia:leet|1337]] pseudo-[[Spanish]], is translated as "Love ''[[Sonichu]]'' and hate ''[[Asperchu]]''".

Chris tries to be clever by speaking Spanish backwards, but he just ends up sounding like a raving lunatic. He ends the video by chanting "Uhcinos evol!" (love ''Sonichu'') over and over again, perhaps believing he can brainwash everyone into liking him again, not that anyone ever has. Conversely, he uses the other incantation, "Uhcrepsa etah!" (hate ''Asperchu''), in a failed attempt to draw away the [[troll|masses]] from the new [[Asperchu|rising star]] in the universe of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Amusingly, this makes his beloved hedgehog Pokemon sound evil (pronouncing the word 'love' backwards).

It's possible that he [[Things Chris Has Ripped Off|got this idea]] from ''[[The Simpsons]]'' episode "[[Wikipedia:New Kids on the Blecch|New Kids on the Blecch]]", where the [[Navy]] brainwashes people into signing up by creating a song with the phrase, "Yvan eht nioj" as the chorus. The joke was that it was pronounced as it is written, making the idea of being able to hear it, then subliminally reconstruct the phrase in the listener's head, all the more ridiculous. It goes to show how seriously Chris took the rivalry with Asperchu, to the degree that he attempted to subliminally seduce his audience [[wikipedia:Project MKUltra|MK ULTRA]]-style. Thankfully, it didn't work and Chris is not the [[geinus]] he thinks he is.

He has now been wearing the same shirt for about four days. Take from that what you will. He also promised early in the video that two new pages would be uploaded that evening, which turned out to be a [[lie]], as Chris did not update the [[CWCipedia]] that evening at all.
{{clear}}
==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L
| ytid = luPl0D6hyOA
| stardate = 15 [[January 2010]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}
| shirt = {{DogShirt|text}}
| previous = [[15 January 2010]]
| next = [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]
}}
{{quote|Y uhcinos evol... uhcinos evol... }}

=== Transcript ===

Ah, [[Captain's Log]], Stardate... I believe it is the fifteenth of [[January 2010]].

Hm. As usual, I will have two more pages tonight, I hope you all enjoyed the last page where [[Crystal]] finally got out of the mirror.

But recently, I am reminded of an old Spanish expression which goes simply as, ''Tú necesitas uhcrepsa etah y uhcinos evol per ganar felicidad por vida.'' [''Chris mangles the Spanish language, though it can be translated to: "You need to hate [[Asperchu]] and love [[Sonichu]] in order to be happy for life."'']

Ah, couple of strong verbs in that sent- in that statement. Say it with me.

[''Chris gets frighteningly close to the camera, [[The Creepy Stare|his eyebrows poised to strike]].'']

Uhcrepsa etah... uhcrepsa etah...

Y uhcinos evol... uhcinos evol...

Alright, stay safe and have a good day. Bye-

[''Video cuts off abruptly.'']

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Creepy CWC
| ytid = Cw0fJNIA7gc
| stardate = 18 [[January 2010]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| subject = Chris
| type = Creepy remix
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan's Gringo Inverted
| video = {{#ev:youtube|q0e8DcZ9oFM}}
| stardate = 14 [[April 2018]]
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuObAUCueXDNZpyhljfQ_kQ Craig Smith]
| subject =
| type =
| info = nirgog
}}

==See also==
*[[Spanish]]
*''[[Asperchu]]''
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[15 January 2010]]|nextlink=[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, January 2010|2010-01-15]]
[[Category:Asperchu Saga videos|2010-01-15]]

Twitter Voice Clip

2021-09-14T00:36:29Z

Resrsc: archive

{{Protip|WARNING: This audio clip's volume levels border on ear rape and tomfuckery. Headphone users or anyone who likes hearing, beware.}}

On 20 [[May 2021]], [[Chris]] posted an '''audio recording''' through [[Twitter]]'s voice function. It is a recording of Chris vocalizing in a [[Chris and music#Singing|predictably ear-splitting]] falsetto. The reasoning for this particular clip is [[Random-access humor|unknown]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Twitter Voice Clip
| ytid = ggtUWGu8QhE
| stardate = 20 [[May 2021]]
| subject =
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt =
| saga =
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| maker =
| previous = [[Chris Kisses Rosechu]]
| next = [[Cover song: “I’ll Be Your Mirror” by Velvet Underground]]
}}

==Transcript==
[''The video opens with a photo of his twitter avatar at the time with a spectrogram around it. After 1 full second of silence, Chris shares his opera voice'']

[''At a pitch that could shatter glass'']

{{RageQuote|'''AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA-
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaa...'''}}

==External links==
*[https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1395552768975323137 Link to tweet]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CHRIS CHAN DRIP OUT]]|nextlink=[[Cover song: “I’ll Be Your Mirror” by Velvet Underground]]}}

[[Category:Twitter]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2021]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to Twitter]]

Twitch

2021-09-14T00:36:27Z

Resrsc: archive

[[File:CWC Twitch.png|thumb]]

'''Twitch''' is a game streaming platform. Chris joined in [[2018]]. His first stream was on 16 [[March 2018|March]], in which he played ''Burnout Paradise Remastered''.

==Description==
As expected of Chris, he put no effort into setting up his page, as his description is a copy and paste of his [[Tumblr]] description:

{{quotebox| I am Christine W. Chandler, creator of Sonichu, Rosechu and the city of Cwcville, VA, as drawn in my Comic Book Series. And I am a proud Lesbian Transwoman. And this is my Tumblr; an expanion of my social networking; professional; I am still a work in progress, always. :)}}

==Sonichu's Live PS4 Broadcast (Burnout Paradise Remastered)==
{{Protip|That disclaimer to "watch your ears" in the beginning isn't a joke. This is your first and only warning.}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan Stream "Highlights"
| ytid = AXt6H5t1MoY
| stardate = 16 [[March 2018]]
| subject = ''Burnout Paradise''
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan Twitch Stream Chat
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hUwx7Y0A6_o}}
| stardate = 16 [[March 2018]]
| subject = }}

On 16 March 2018, Chris streamed himself playing the [[PS4]] version of ''Burnout Paradise Remastered''. This stream is notable in that he uses a headset while playing the game; sadly, it has either a really cheap/bad microphone, or Chris is speaking way too close into it (or most likely both), because the stream had continuous moments of ear rape courtesy of him.

A full copy of the stream is currently lost, but several viewers made clips of it that are still available on Twitch, and there is a YouTube compilation of many of the said clips.

===Transcript (Chris Chan Stream "Highlights")===
[''Video opens with a caption on a black background''] '''WATCH YOUR EARS'''

Ooh...''mash it mash it mash it'' '''''MASH IT!!!!''''' [''drives through a billboard, earning a bonus''] '''HA-HA!''' [''after smashing his car through the billboard, the car lands, and almost immediately afterwards smashes into a pole through the entrance of a road underneath another one''] HNNNNG, NRRRRRRRRR. [''waggles his tongue'']

[''smashes through another billboard''] There's '''ANOTHER ONE!''' [''singing''] An' anurr one gone, anurr one gone, [[Chris and music|another one bites the dust!]]

Bumpity-bum-buuuum-bum.

''Oh dear!'' [[wikipedia:My Hero (song)|There goes my hero!]] Nah [''unintelligible; the constant clipping from Chris's mic doesn't help matters''] had to drop me somewhere! '''SAWWWY!!!''' Better luck next time!

[''regarding a mini-biker riding a bike in the car selection menu''] That helmet too big for your head!

[''smashing through a fence''] Smashy smashy!

Smashy-crashy! SMASHY SMASHY '''MASHY!!!'''

Nope. You didn't get me that time, HEH-HA, ha-ha!

Still got(?) JUST IN '''TIIIIME!''' Just in time, he-heh. [[Mary Poppins|Step in time, step in time, step in time]], never need a reason, never need a RHYYYYYMEE!!!!

Let's see what's around this way! Ooh, too big tunnel, too big tunnel.

[''unintelligible again''] ...for the commercial break. Have fun. [''unintelligble statement''] Budabudabudabudabudabudabudabudabudabuda. [''almost passes by a fence and imitates the Three Stooges "Whoop-whoop-whoop" as he puts his car into reverse''] Nyuk nyuk nyuk! [''says something unintelligible about Moe'']

[''cut to another caption on black background, followed by a plug for the OP's personal channel''] '''IT WAS PRETTY MUCH THAT FOR AN HOUR'''

==CLog 04172018 - Buy My Toys==
{{Tardrage}}
{{quote|NO CALLS!!!|Chris screeches at [[weens]] on Twitch}}
On 17 [[April 2018]], Chris streamed for the second time not to stream a video game, but to push the sales of his [[Transformers]] toys. It would later be alleged by the [[Guard Dogs]] that he did so while under extortion by the [[Idea Guys]]. Visibly agitated, Chris vowed to stream until everything he has on stock is sold, refusing to communicate with viewers, making [[random-access humor]] (i.e. making random noises at random), and even bringing in [[Barb]] to state how dire their situation is. Despite this, the stream ended early due the howling of his [[Clover and Snoopy|dogs]].

Chris sold the [[Amnyfest Ring]] during the stream and thanked [[The Captain|its buyer]] for the purchase. The sale would prove to be key in the ousting of the Idea Guys.

{{Infobox/video
| name = CLog 04172018 - Buy My Toys
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fNP_rJp5mxo}}
| stardate = 17 [[April 2018]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| shirt = {{Pinkw-GreySleeves|text}}|
| previous = [[Look, I Am helping my mother and I with the monies]]
| next = [[I have been paid to go; we’ll see if I can go (Seriously To Be Determined)]]
}}
[52 minutes of Chris playing with various toys, demanding the audience buy said toys on [[eBay]] ("You're gonna go on eBay!! You're gonna pay me $100!! And NO HATING!!"). Simultaneously, he's telling the audience he's ignoring all their comments. All the while Chris is screeching and babbling in various shrill, cartoon voices. Barb makes a brief (coerced) cameo at 32:00, where Chris interrogates her about fruit]



==External links==
*[https://www.twitch.tv/sonichu1982 Chris's Twitch account ]

{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Lost Media]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder Livestreams

2021-09-14T00:36:26Z

Resrsc: archive

{{Incomplete}}

Between [[October 2019|October]] to [[December 2019]], [[Chris]] '''livestreamed himself playing''' the fanmade ''[[My Little Pony]]''-themed [[card game]] ''[[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder]]''. During these streams, he generally plays the game alone, using his own custom cards.

==Chris Chan Sonichu plays Twilight Sparkle’s Secret Shipfic Folder, Solitaire==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan Sonichu plays Twilight Sparkle’s Secret Shipfic Folder, Solitaire
| ytid = iQmPeoKG98s
| stardate = 26 [[October 2019]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}} {{Video games|[[TCG|Card Games]]}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{ManchildMeldownShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Business|text}}
| other = {{Live|text}}
| previous = [[Joey Vance]]
| next = [[Ben Saint - Chatting with Chris-Chan]]
}}

===Description===
Watch the chaos unfold as I personally demonstrate how to play Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder, with the addition of my own first few cards in my expansions and promos so far.

===Transcript===
{{Transcript}}
{{collapsible

|Auto-transcription|

'''Chris:''' hello everybody this is Christine
Chandler coming to you live from home
with a complicated camera view we're
gonna play a card game on this thing hey
because people are curious they wanna
know we're gonna play Twilight Sparkle's
secret pick folder and not just
with the old core deck which we have all
the cards I hit but with the expansion
packs we have collected so far so among
which included alright so yeah we've got
the could be currently dead guys printed
by the children I could fence a version
1.1 points it's no sup star mayor's
Attack of the Clones the Shiba raw lien
pack last night stitch
TJ poems blue dog starts Royal Academy D
hoodie full art cards and the author
arias art cards as well as I don't have
credit cards you know if these things
come with us I have the cue cards for
the out of ink expansion be a question
of girls horseplay
and Pony Nagi Octavia Magica the
previously released its finishes that we
had out so far plain thing and as will
last a few promo cards in this
action we have also the Arizona slime
expansion pack and massaging oh shoot
Oh Sees pack as well as my three promo
cards so far these are just edges took
me a long time to settle this up you
know just I sort out everything so I can
make sure I had enough sleeves for
everybody I managed time management was
able to get all that so guys this is I
can't work and I'm an offer a bit of
commentary phone oh that's what that
we didn't miss awake so yeah as you
could see I have a few lovely pink boxes
for my secret ship fixed folder cars now
I'm gonna be sorting my son shoot deck
into this into this box later after I'd
get that crate out but we have we have
so far we got all the Pony cards and the
few start cards and this bonnets and
have the going ship cards and this box
were against that it's pollution in a
moment - which reminds me I should
probably bought the new cards so I could
read those for commentary but yeah
nothing to note I definitely appreciate
for the boxes I recommend you all go
with these smaller boxes that came in
the previous packs like you know nice
lay this ultra prism because they had
this Ridge on the inside - the warm ones
for tag-team types they don't hand
awesome yeah those carts out so easy out
of the taller boxes so
put it out there let you know that's my
two cents on that and that's bits you
sense because there's presently no limit
on the number of cards you can have your
duckling playing secret thick
folder you just get if you just count
the diviner to two dividers well that's
how tall this Pony deck is gonna be the
103 notes it's gonna be this big now
that's a mighty meaty sandwich I mean I
don't know if that oh yeah there should
be a limit there's gonna be easier
shuffling look at this you got to divide
you mean if I had if they divide between
me my expansions the other expansions
and the core deck those are the pony
cards yeah you pretty much see you would
have to divide this up and like we're to
care about your other players or your
friend across the table from you just a
shuffles the pony deck I mean I'm just
putting it out there
maybe those from the secret ship thick
community can help me sort this out so I
can put this on me expanded role cards
I'm like I'm assigning those figuring
this out I got a few roles additional
rules and details sorted out that I'm
going to be adding on to the world
course on including the Sonic Youth deck
but for right now I can't I have this
pair that came with the court dr. Harris
pretty much the same details as those
six cards don't stitch will card images
are still for fronting back so I mix
three cards and we're in the original
court deck they just had a little bit
more details looming this is what
compressed it's nice I like that I can
appreciate that
yeah but download from a secret ship
fake website horrible people games they
give it they give us the Oh free cards
so
to do so I just work from that baby I
got I have to fight us on my external
hard drive
don't forget your flash drive don't
forget your eyes drive I mean obviously
unscripted
this is lie I'm not gonna worry about a
script I don't worry about a script but
yeah you good pretty much I'm free
mechanic demonstrate a game of Twilight
Sparkle's secret big folder I'll be
at play solitaire which I case you're
wondering what that was
that's a cat baby our gold cat baby he
has a bit of a nasal problem okay we
taking him to the vet
he's alright okay we're taking care of
him so don't ask about that don't troll
me about that do not tell me about that
nice guess what
that's really all back trolling the
trolls big yeah there so we go back if
you know troll me you patrol me for
years
maybe aside from that time I'm gonna go
over the just the cards pretty much the
title card so everyone can reference you
pretty much use this is your how-to
video so
so I essentially have the start card
which when you stop when you set up a
game of secret ship big folder but these
have one start card you pick wine and
put in the center of the table which
obviously want to like card side like a
card table or a moderate-sized round
tables on us
everybody can at least reach into the
center of the table arm's length and I
mean obviously going to secret shipping
folder website for figuring out what's
on the card but essentially there's the
gender of the individual that's the race
eater unicorn Pegasus earth or alicorn
wait a minute that's in one instance and
those the keywords you can even have a
racial keyword like I know I had a
keyword like unicorn
oh I'm like a unicorn the key word
unicorn I'm an earth pony
that's called a unicorn and of course so
you got your talk about the power and
effect that's yeah every start car is
gonna be your place in the center to see
what start again can under move to
remove from the grid power cannot be
copied though it can't be moved by other
cart effects and how much somebody
wonderfully one card definitely specify
bring in a second start card pushing
though everybody put done punch in their
own start cards so it's a good thing to
do is like give me a big competition
between fanfic authors in this thing man
anyway can a pony card so how much the
same thing is that these have the
effects and of course everything on the
bottom these small words on the bottom
that's the flavored sets pretty much
tells the story of the situation in that
card for example and alright and these
aren't the ship cards you have them with
effects and then without effect so
which knows Kate in this case it's just
a basic ship but you could but we've got
a special one there's an effect that
goes into play
and which in that case you going between
the two Pony carts but starting from the
start card and that's pretty much the
situation of playing between two point
cards are the one start carding and the
initial thing anyway so it's like okay
so Oh are there Twilight a dying wish to
bring Violetta into play that's an
example of shipping in this game and the
gold cards I'm glad just pretty much
take my chrome acardo's in that sample
that's lovely full art right there
I'm surprised myself just you know I
still read the flavor text in this
essentially this is where you know
minimum of ten sign shoes and or Rose
shoes with the OC keyword and Christian
on the grid at the same time three
points and a person who gets to achieve
disco increases their hand signs by one
just why not three where that's one
example there's other ones like mmm you
can win this goal after collecting
another goal and then increase your hand
by one up back to that when just go buy
a pony car a definitive keyword is
discarded from the grid and that's just
oh okay I love this one shipping a horse
famous for the sign she famous mainly me
oh well there's lots of Twilight
Sparkle's in the cortex so essentially
there is no crime in me having multiple
versions or myself or more than one
magic chance sonnet you in the side to
deck and the expansions and all that
sort so
I'm pretty much done I should
demonstrate how to play and I'll talk as
we go along so first up I'm gonna just
put everybody together so good start
playing I'm gonna start by shuffling the
gold decks together to smart you don't
need to shuffle the start date many
start cards do not need to be shuffle
cuz you don't technically do often start
cards in this game but pretty much me at
least most like of start cards but if
they're just kind of set those decide
for there's a reason I have this box
still right here I'll get to that in a
moment I'll show ya I'll just save right
now pretty much make concerning signs
the pony deck and pretty much gonna be
storing that in here as opposed to
direct horse vertical stacking like that
like that's tall
anyway nice to having sleeves nice to
have a bunch of the matching sleet or so
yeah I know it's thinner if you don't
have to sneeze but hey it's not I like
the play this is one way of doing it and
it's a good way of doing it so all right
well there's the deck of go cards with
Kazaam on the back and get to set up
shuffling the ship deck all these cards
together you can watch me shuffle you
watching me
Christian sunshade shuffling des has
wine nuts it's good it's awesome have
fun but these out here because whatever
it's something free go Sonos we often
look at her we have a sizing to do the
other artists that have made expansion
packs
just do not troll them no spoiling
allowed haters you can squirrel your
hate and I'm not reading your comments
either so I mean but then the camera is
and why am i I've got to read from the
opposite side on that side so you're
falling on deaf ears or hater comments
but still sitting up okay Pokemon from
TC cheaper a long time there gonna be a
limit how many cars core deck cares like
65 Pony cards 55 ship cars 41 goal cards
my dad's gonna ask you more pony cart
still have like 68 I'm just putting it
out there let y'all know huh shuffling
the shuffling my expansions into the
core deck has combinations of all the
other expansions I've collected so far
this is fun food abyss now there is your
meeting right there are shuffling
monster sized meaty decks together oh
this is why you have limits on deck so
fun yeah this should be covered in the
rule cards as well take comments on when
the official people on me Heights boater
offense I just cut this court slippery
when wet
oh and that's a good reason to wear
clothes so you don't cut your finger you
don't cut your hands while you're doing
this work
hmm
that cooked bring in the other
expansions I already did but just
shuffling around here so this is pretty
much down onto this and it's a good
thing
give this a cut and now here comes
Godzilla and Mechagodzilla
[Applause]
I heard something failed there that was
easy
Oh
and rule covers sort themselves you know
this sound the way
yeah
hmm just get the backhoe right and I
hear somebody commenting there that's
cut he can't stand the test of time
yeah it's easier just to yeah that works
there
see the box huh yeah that was fun all
right so let's step for love beginning
solitaire style because typically this
is played with more than one player but
I've learned and practiced that can be
played solitaire just by yourself so
yeah we separate shuffle of the three
decks between Pony ship and goals and we
take three gold cards and put them face
up so initially our three goals are and
that's generation is it's what you
achieve it when Twilight Sparkle is
shipped with any alternate timeline
homie and then friendship is leadership
which assists ponies with the main six
key worships in the chain this goes
where four points if no pony is a
different version of a nerve pony in the
chain and then just as permanent witness
go wooden
Rainbow Dash is shipped with three girls
anyway those just stay off to the side
there and those will be attainable as
the game progresses alright so yeah
we're starting to put we put a
start card the center and the other
start cards here
and do you H player a hand up one two
three four Connie cards
one two three cards more pony three
ships so the game starts up from the
left going clock going clockwise
starting from the left side of the
dealer or otherwise just the person that
didn't deal oh and the objective while
playing this game you will construct
elaborate floats are relationships
between Twilight or whoever the start
Pony is and everybody else
completing competing to bend those
relationships in the shape of 2004 the
fanfic portage go you learned the number
of points turned by the difficulty of
that go you're going up to three players
you point out so you have eleven until
the first player to gets 11 points or
giving more to four players for more
players you and it goes up to nine
points so yeah i'ma turn each turn
precedes a swamp
play at least one card for your hand and
at the end of your turn draw up to D up
to our discard down to your hand let me
which is usually so it in any
combination of ships and ponies let's
make drawing before looking at down if
you want amigos turn over new ones you
progressed so I will shoot I will show
my initial hand so initially we have
these cards so that's the first hand for
this solitaire game it's a good mix up
funny but I mean with that
3:06 treats such a little o'seas
here and a pony but it's gonna miss so
alright so here's how this pretty much
goes so we have two basic shift cards
and we have a shift car with the effect
of a special keyword change where both
pony cars touch the ship game day
eq g or Equestria girls key word to the
end of the Turnus when you pushed your
girls horseplay so now let's do that
just to show you and effect so perfect
neighborhood beat is getting some
neighbour adjustments with Violetta and
now that's another thing about these
effects I'll just read that about
shipping power pony power so yes
essentially the ship on your slide the
ship card halfway beneath the pony cart
already a good place to fight on top of
the exposed have big no space between
them to show there's a shoot carpet to
meet beneath the pony can have four
ships attached to it above left right
below my pony powers activates and
evening after is added to the grid from
the players stand the exception is any
car that says well this cart is still in
your hand upon his card can also affect
itself and those otherwise stated and of
course they shipped I'm working don't go
in the bedroom
don't do that mom that one I'm doing
this removal this
our difficulty okay so two point Carson
are adjacent but not connected by
car not consider but sliding your
car between them is the other play
but we'll get to that another time
alright so anyway we take you to effect
the effect so now let's the status at
unless it doesn't say buddy you may if
you can take that isn't as you must it
has to happen so we pretty much now both
of these cars have the eqg keyword until
the end of this turn now but this won't
know what this one is another keyword
change so when I attached his cards the
grid I'm a had the hero keyword to the
pony cart or all Pony cards shipped with
this card until the end of the turn so
that's essentially not counting this one
so now hoofbeats here is a hero so we
got two Equestria girls this one's a
hero and that's until the end of the end
of this turn
[Music]
all right so we do a basic ship for next
example we'll put a ring on it
between Violetta and DJ poems and I was
psyched now it's like this is a you may
option so I don't have to do this I was
essentially I can take it power so many
honey card on the grid except for those
that cannot be copy and you say effort
and use that for this thing's power
except for point cards with a changeling
keyword can't use those hours or effects
as fanfic card sir hoofbeats has read
that in the book once great read that
the book once about ready and it's like
now i'm a shift up the street honey
cards in the grid so it's like I can
just swap these three around yeah over
there she's over here and she's over
there
that's a three-way ship three ways swamp
alright so now Romeo's effect is
essentially replace so why it's in my
hand i discard it I can just card it pop
I'm a pint this got a card from the grid
played his cart in its place so sorry TJ
posts we just somebody out God this
struggle friendship well there's a pony
discard pile
[Music]
alright so now that there's no cards in
my hand pretty much into my turn so now
I can draw up to seven cards to make
combination for the ship and or the pony
pile I'm gonna take three
arts there for ship cards and in return
all key word changes are nullified not a
question of girls see what I kept her
keyword on that into the end of the turn
and if he's no longer a hero now let's
look at the next hand here and let's
turn or you know if there was like a
player be their turn so essentially I
think player to my turn I got a basic
ship and to look I have two basic ships
and two low poisons all right this is my
hand recently let you off with a be
bubbly blow the art on all that anybody
recognizes it's good my prison hand
right now
all right so hmm to not poison 2:36 well
anyway let's do this
hoofbeats is trading up for pudding Lyra
and pretty much I may draw a car for
Nepal your ship KITT ship deck so I draw
Pony deck now your Pegasus changeling
boy okay let's do a shotgun wedding now
between Romeo sturdy what can I say my
enough narshall let's build it better
and swap a goal out so we've got a
discard one goal card and replace that
with a new goal the award for we must go
when you play a ship between anypony
with the OC keyword and anypony without
the OC keyword now there is a ruling
about this in the rule cards okay
completing uncle if the gold cards
conditions are already met with his drug
then that go-kart goes to the final
Ecotec and image structures replace it
but this can happen again cuz we have
plenty of Oh seeds and 9o season this
dick so pretty much believe that out
there otherwise the instant of those
conditions are met that goal is achieved
this can be in four point powers
activate or after but not during when
the goal is achieved the current player
at Quantico but played on
table in front of them face up a pony's
card counts towards achievement goal if
the cards name symbols you know I'm just
going to back for ultimate timeline
thing and or keywords match the
requirements for that goal hmm
now we did that this will be kind of an
easy win I do believe so let's do this
I'm gonna say we have an odyssey
oppression that's a love poison that
which means to sit playing this ship
with a pony card from my hand or
connecting to pony carts and I quit like
I could have slipped that between these
two or been a better point no new condom
no new Pony carts little bit and put
into play just shipping those two
together by themselves anyway so but
it's simply this ship where the pony car
my feet are connecting two pint cards
already on the shipping grid I might
take a point card from elsewhere on the
grid and then reattach it house we don't
like this ship and that card's power
activates okay now this is where things
can get another idiom an iced tea I'm
good move right over there I kind of I'm
not gonna activate her effect I'm not
going
just I'm not going to do that but
essentially what we just did we broke up
two ships because there's no way
attached to this ship so she's not
attached to anybody and neither of these
abyss and a longer applicable so they
bought a discard pile
all right
and then we'll do a dream crashing we'll
do that between putting the wire up you
know I'm not gonna do anybody for my
hand but we'll put a nightmare that he
brought he brought changeling with them
a Pegasus changed me so a changeling
comes onto the grid or is moved
elsewhere it gives the name symbols and
keywords of any single Pegasus and my
choice I'm gonna say guessing from
either for my hand or feel prison that
you son we could say this is that
Pegasus over there sturdy so I'm just
being like that until the end of the
turn is power off so at the basement
parties move to a new place in the grid
you need the other card saying would not
dip we just quick change thing on the
grid that's it I'm gonna have one Pony
carb lift but I could achieve to go I
didn't think of it
and I'm just having fun here come on I
don't sound fun here anyway so my turn
so draw some more cards I draw three 20
cards and three ships
all right take loose all keyword effects
and that sort next turn alright so this
time we have two basic shift cards you
know what I could have done there I
could shift the changeling with this OC
and one that goal was that's my mistake
like I still make up worth this term
mm-hmm I didn't know what to think about
that and we have two basic shifts we
have a gender change and booty - TB Tom
we still have no luck so I'm essentially
this is just a blank Pegasus changeling
now
so let's do this now we're gonna say
great boy she's got to stop meeting
Octavia like this so now what this
happened in this instance we shipped a
regular I know I know seat with an OC so
now we gain to go we just put that in
front of us the flare and now I have one
point out of 11 it's not cheating when
this go with Twilight Sparkle a ship
with any shining armor horse famous
meets aren't you famous first time first
one my card my ship gets play now
there's a piece of my arse on the deal
works not a piece of my art on this game
it's been everybody else's no gold card
yeah we'll see how this plays out
[Music]
okay well I'll say what here comes Tom
replace your plates just know what that
does
I can't do this just because like
somehow the rock get sick with a
life-threatening illness and guess who
comes around-- you know love those two
okay no everyone just full of that so if
it ships with an object she shipped with
an object that card gains the special
keyword as long as this shipped with
this part so pretty much as long as it
remains shipped with no it up at this
point lists until she's moved to the
metal object
this thing is special this is a special
rock dude that's like lady do that
between hoofbeats and pretty dense so
first up the gender of change of
beverage when I attach it to the grid I
might choose one Pony car attached to
this ship until the pony car that car
becomes a business dinner so what dudes
a lady dudes of lady know who - so I may
draw a card from the shipper point deck
all right so in my turn and keyword
changes are known boy that's it for this
one it's Stella special rock
this special rock it's known that take
take to pony cards and warship cards
all right this time we have two more
basic cards we have one love
questions and special none of these
people need gourd
all right so fair apply now dear okay
well I'm going to split a ship car
between booty - and Tom so now those two
are shipped together
[Music]
it still fits practice so I could still
I'm gonna join that so all right let's
do this so she felt so hoodie - fell in
love with some hot girl this thing
so essentially touch this part to agree
that she was one point car touch this
today a mentor-mentee time between
a female earth pony and gains the
Octavia you were alright so there's that
why not then I say why not
and get all my stuff here
I'm gonna be clear about all right okay
Louie - no kiss timber and Bruce aren't
you now this was a special effect which
any and all pony carts with the billing
keyword shipped with this car it's a
changeling keyword so essentially
they're just changed things into them so
essentially just now thank you know
anybody said we heard get that wrong
they've gone shake the hurt get the raw
end of the deal okay now I think people
can I can appreciate this we say nothing
there's no they have nothing in common
but it's perfect anyway the honey - like
Pegasus and we don't have rainbow dash
and therefore experiment
well if you need a race so does this
effect still can't so one two three
girls we just earned just experimenting
now have three points up eleven now a
new go car gets drawn into its place
okay it's not evil woman's go when you
break up they wake up shining on
with any female except Twilight Sparkle
[Music]
I'm taking and checking the grid now um
okay
let me say sorted the sort of seduction
it's a love portion but I'm not going to
use its effect up again hoodie Twilight
and has a copy of beauty so I can copy
somebody else in the grid like I'm
gonna copy hoodie Lyra and drop on the
ship
okay and our gonna say Twilight so this
flourish ina dream never say why not hmm
in a turn so the basic three ponies and
four ships
anyway three pines for ships
yeah okay now final we can have another
piece of my artwork on the grid
it could be incoming 10,000 to basic
ships
I love poison a keyword change and these
three Pony in these three cards to their
mean back up
he just haunted through televised
stairways
[Music]
option
okay do something let's do this I'm
gonna say sort of shy came in and
brought em bring Big Mac together
now this one is a keyword change it's
like I can choose a funny part today end
of my turn that plank needs a cure to my
choice except for Pony name so let's say
this Big Mac is a villain to the end of
the turn so now with the grid still
now's your technicality right there to
think over
so things just I'm just a Buddha no yep
okay now let's have some crazy fun crazy
fun
okay so there's a pig pal relationship
between dirty Octavia bon shotgun door
oh this is gonna be crazy so let me do
when this card is played on the grid
choose up to three other twenty cards on
the grid each point card and one ship
and one attached ship card must be moved
and attached to Octavia Vaughn second
office
[Music]
yeah why don't this do this all right
nicely boy if this were an official game
I could take you in I mean because I
could attach that to hoodie Twilight and
gain that go we're just having fun here
anyway
essentially no ships there and what's
gone but technically still ship with
Lyla and I'm still ship they're there so
they stay on the grid then you ships
these ponies kind of just card file
yeah crazy client if I was not playing
but it gets them hurt Blaire
okay my now we're gonna say there was a
bad jump on competition between amber
and right you now poor TV
okay now let's say there was a hard Oh
nurse should car I overlooked let's say
there's a holiday vacation between
hoofbeats Eddie Choo
so I know at least want to party cards
on the grill
[Music]
well let's do that my man because they
were swamped I could it be activates a
new goal is displaying flurry okay
here's an epidemic when this going to
fight to love potions in one turn enough
to look poisons short on cancer in my
turn let's do three cards apiece mister
three of each
that's under this crazy foot gonna do
this with your friends there's nothing
to hate about this okay so
[Music]
[Music]
okay yes yes now I see an opportunity I
can do now you can see my brain at work
now it's saying we do a crossover thick
which allows us to play from discard I
get to choose and play Oh play the top
card to find this card I with this ship
it's all good bring tea back and that
ship there Oh wanted teach you do last
night with sour sweet I can swap two
party cards of the shipping red
we're stopping pretty - with tabi
let's do this I'm gonna say there was a
locker roller thing between sturdy and
Fontbonne dog car there's not wine
of mine here's my drawing of mine let's
do this I'm gonna say Oh what is this
that's so special
what's this I found a special emergency
broadcast alert there's a missing child
just inducted earlier this week they're
just so very nearby that's still crying
on the airwaves that's what that Nueces
down
no way I could yeah
I'm still learning I'm still thinking
this is why you play solitaire oh why do
you do this with your suede this is how
you practice with yourself for yourself
so you can play with others alright
anyway this time it turns over for ship
cards in three pony cars okay we finally
have a shining armor
yeah rare him Chabal let's see Oh
something up I love that card so cute
alright okay we have three basic ships
ah
well
let's say he was helping out big sis you
mean saved us from looking dog
no there was a girl where to tabes
worshiped me an young-hee
camera say say they met then set to for
a restaurant play - and ship off so
we'll do a new goal I mean optimistic
for this song I don't want to give this
up Solis I don't want to give it up no I
don't want to give it up because their
cards available to have the hashtag work
that horse famous that's this guy that's
a horse famous no I think but I guess
the sake of it all I'm gonna okay I'm
just going to pinkie pie's are shipped
together
look you know what I tell you takes you
on top there at it yeah I'm gonna give
what are they getting again he's missing
around Little Rock
man I'm just say there was an
archaeological expedition between Big
Mac and sturdy
ah
so that was between next she goes
between those two those between those
two men and this is between
all right
Oh Connie I'm gonna call Youm we're
playing now there's a selfie out between
shitball and what a rarity so now stop
me up I love this when you attach the
card to grip until the end of my turn
both point cards tension ship game meat
special Oh see I'm gonna vote game hero
so now that's a special host sea hero I
thought aren t just became a special OC
hero until the end of the turn
okay
not how good swap these two yeah I'm
gonna have to make that goal know that
swap
okay third - room with NASA ships with
an object it can happen it can still
happen for party cards and to ships
I have three basic ships but there's
another piece of my arms well then we
have these four
okay
penpals near like totally
now going with pink punk kids neck
butter day swap to pony cars
yeah now we have right with this
for them up yet so that's two points now
we have five points off eleven and in
that swamp I can have to make this
[Music]
okay okay here we go
do you need more lesbians I'm just going
to play three female on female ships in
the turn
let's do this nightmare moon comes and
replaces teddy choo
so essentially I think we just played to
be now ships move one more to make the
school happy
a big poetry night
three
a male-female ships in one turn so
now we have
six points out of 11
me nice punch when this going night
stitch you ship with any Pony with the
object keyword and it gets one two cards
these two
[Music]
regardless dr. Gertz
alright well let's say boo was bearish
drop that's a play from discard it's hot
car no you shouldn't you would not do
any swapping at this point
okay
there's a booze new waifu this mean
grumpy Gilda the new goal we must go in
twice Park was shipped with an insta
Cora Grey was like it was Hilo at home
alright let's see hmm
okay well especially what happened if it
was in my hand I can just coconut
discard it any spike card from the grab
and play this card into place but there
didn't happen itself now get over there
and do something in my turn that's still
a special rock
yes yes yes yes rightfully so I take
3:23 cars pony cars
okay we got two basic ships there's your
cleansing reins and took out a bunch of
my manipulative swine and for pony cards
roaster featuring the roast Judas and
the retina partially holographics why
why go
okay well yes I
things got a little lewd and she just
came and replaced Tom special rock is
gone she destroyed it she destroyed a
special rock smash
who else it was a fat pint wedding
between Rayburn and Snoke you do a new
sari
maybe not there's throwing this ship
this ruthless trip minutes gone when you
break up princess Mia and cook solo to
specific because we're so low
we would say amber fights crying with
Kephart
Kepler and he is a copy so let's use
that to new goal that's on the grid okay
I'm just going when you play three male
on male ships in turn think of a pawn
sit you know must save one card let's
take three ponies and two ships next
turn
mm-hmm
okay let's see what we can do here
[Music]
no Sophia there's a cat Sophia
you can see how big this shipping grid
can get and this is why you need a card
table you know where the center point is
an Argentine arms-length
[Music]
okay let's say
[Music]
[Music]
my boy somebody became a princess the
Wonderbolts right into the camera
oh good so I'm not gonna activate that
effect and this pecan is male/female for
all-girls ships and powers so there's
that
all right there was some Clint and they
made some cleansing rings that summon
shining armor so I would say that's
pretty much one male-on-male ship
you wanna swap Russians
which two ponies the Metro Bart or three
ponies
Oh
please me Nicky oh let's do this
your French clothes anymore okay nice
to the rock
hmm just for a trivial important st.
Claire replaces Big Mac
so return three of each three shapes and
three ponies Horace you go
[Music]
you know from side to side there's no
duty to dazzlings
my little sister 3-nothing sorry my
blisters horn might be a different race
[Music]
that's why I have to gender changes and
always change for shipping cards
hmm
hmm
listen work alright let's say there was
a rule assist III between Shabbat and
study flare Knight Joseph are now she
dude she's dude so we just played one me
all-male
I'm speaking this is much steaming face
one way our mail ship
[Music]
now it's I'm going to say that a horndog
lies between Romeo and hoofbeats I got
back to make a nice change
they're both still earth ponies
yes
do this can I tell you a secret married
if you marry big t2 will say their duty
to as I do but that gender changed so
that means our third male on male swaps
about became this point we gained this
car now we have eight points five eleven
and then I'm gonna draw arm from the
shipper point
all right let's do this then I'm gonna
say move on feeling a crush with we will
Boris it's in that three-way swap I got
swept up to three cards and the grid
we must go when to Applejack's are
shipped together
[Music]
okay they're right there
that's Lucy
well a regular nurse not write a novel
ooh seems nice swapping around I can
activate this effect
hello see stay off the table I'm gonna
see not the table
thank you
okay
yeah Oni go to my room for is too
and most the other Mariners ship the
dazzlings
my turn gotta Beach
I have three basic ships these probably
cards
the grid fluid filling up I am I got a
breakup ship somewhere in order to clear
some space at one point to change things
this is a fun game look at this this is
some fun I have nothing to say Sartre
great sour-sweet founded tensions shared
attention time okay I'm just going in
email and shipped with three other males
they couldn't happen again
well let's say quinoa Crusaders match
make this Luna the queen chrysalis
yeah that's two diamonds
oh I know let's do it taco taco tuesday
bitch
and they don't go wanna join it with
pudding Pinkie Pie three-way I
could swap any ponies in the you just
been shipped with three dudes
oh well swear I'm not good not good then
I still I see here that's another point
Long Legs
alright so that's three plus it's we
have nine points two points for the win
there's one car that to me
we go
the last eyewitness gold when you win
the game when you when you achieve this
goal start your next game but this goes
you're near achieve goals yeah I not
dare say my starship cars I'm gonna take
four ships and two ponies
okay now two basic ships yes there's
your pretty one
hmm gender change in step earth
changeling now we have chips and seal
they're flourishing
Oh sailor there's a wine
oh well why not nice not you have you
met my friend Oh sailor you go yeah took
about trip sea or out Wow okay I'm on
very specific windows go with finally
buy old and deep digger or shipped
together it goes where four points of
the ship carve uses batpony wedding
that's 10 million here somewhere
okay let's it was a beach episode
between Teddy Chu near the earth changed
me let's just say that is now let's just
say that's not farm boy
takes you shared a tandem bicycle ride
with chips what's essentially now it's a
non-fun also syncs your move to
nightmare moons oops wrong spell between
Lola sour-sweet
if the hand let's draw some more magic
three ships and port ponies
[Music]
you know play from discard we have a
ginger team yeah basic and we have these
ponies there's same things yeah oh yeah
well that and
[Music]
[Music]
hmm
I can't see what let's do a specially
romantic random picnic between Earth
changeling and strong you go
all right we're just going to remove
dashes are shipped together
I have the earth changeling nothing
alicorn dream and this side watch my
head I guess is changeling on
oh yeah that change leggy senators car
well
why should she have a goal right now
call me a fireside swoops in I'll kill
that then we'll just slip
Twilight Sparkle with an alternate
timeline pony so I'm gonna point 4 plus
6 10 we are one point away completing ok
when is going to ponies with a
changeling key word are shipped together
baby it still happened
it still happened
strongest journal first darling
confession from cook then say for the
copy we're gonna swap to Bunnings Queen
has been shipped changeling changeling
three points we ended the game with 13
points yeah I watch this there this has
been fun I hope y'all enjoyed this then
y'all can enjoy watching it over and
over again
supercalifragilistic expialidocious lee
large pony deck I'll get to you in a
moment mom I love you and I love you all
be safe see you next time all right.
}}

==Playing Twilight Sparkle’s Secret Shipfic Folder with the New Sonichu Deck!==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Playing Twilight Sparkle’s Secret Shipfic Folder with the New Sonichu Deck!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|zLqZDYF5gVU}}
| stardate = 26 [[November 2019]]
| subject = {{Video games|[[TCG|Card Games]]}} {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = "[[Sonichu's Edge|World's Okay-est Runner]]"
| saga = {{Business|text}}
| other = {{Live|text}}
| previous = [[Ben Saint - Chatting with Chris-Chan]]
| next = [[Twilight_Sparkle%27s_Secret_Shipfic_Folder_Livestreams#Taking_TSSSF_Product_Photos|Taking TSSSF Product Photos]]
}}
===Description===
The TSSSF Sonichu Deck and Expansion Packs can purchased at the link, below. And each first time purchase receives the set of 18 Promo Cards. Mimimum $100 purchase customers get a bonus Expansion Pack that is not in their cart (Random Selected). And everyone who buys it all in one purchase, gets a Bonus Rigid Box to store them all in.

And the cards are coming soon to other online TSSSF CCG sellers, and Vendors at Conventions, includi [sic] BABSCon.

===Transcript===
====0:00 to 10:00====
{{collapsible

|Transcript|
[''The video opens with Chris not to be seen, but showing a table atop which are scattered a colourful array: a fan drawing of CWC Psychlight, the [[tomgirl]] and [[homos]]' flags and a large stack of TSSSF cards.]

Dah... Hello, e'rybody in YouTube Land, [Chris extends his hand, making a peace sign as an [[anime]]-inspired greeting.] this is Christine Chandler [he makes a [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|thumbs-up]]] cummintoyulaivfruhome, once! again, and today, 'inally, [squealing, waving his hand about] finally! finally, goming in the mayil! wi' my capy of da DECK! [He picks up and displays his Sonichu expansion pack from the table, holding it to the camera.] The deck! And, ah, it's lovely and awesome! Zap'fyl glo-ry! So here's the bumps [box], look at this box! It's a luvvely, lovely [lowering his pitch notably] box. Ny'aand, you know, there's the tup, there's the bottom. Ya know, I'll hold dat so y'all can read that. The back. And the side. When this video is fully uploaded, I'll fut a link to where you can buy this one, and the expansion packs for it that I have personally put together and assembled! Eshaw, le' m' sh' y' [let me show you] QR code oble-for Secret Shipfic boar [for] in-fo-may-shin, if you cay-rrr. Ha ha...

Ah, so, yeah, and even with isn't quite to compare, so here it is with... the, original, core deck botsss. Eh, it's rutly the same wit, unless you're talkin' about ta card widths, [he presses the boxes together, top down, to show what he means]... hm, it's de'initly thinner. Hm. Okay. Orientation... But there's a top, y' can see the backs together! Th' sides... And! bottoms. An' that's basically it for! The pac-ka-ging.

[Chris steps away; his voice becomes muffled.] So let's go over... what is included with this. Thiss-th-s, the, Sonichu deck here includes 172 pawsome cards. [He picks up another pile of cards from the table to display them.] An' you don' jus' get one! You get four... starrrt cards. [Chris unfolds the four starter cards to show..] Because we get to bring in more! start cards, CARRDS onto the ''playing field''! in this new set of [growling] awesome loo-ehhhhhdge! Harumph.

[Chris folds and puts the cards back.] Mm... Here's the gold deck, where, the first, you see, [[OC]], is, [[Chris and work#Job as a Goddess|'The Deity Is Hard at Work']]. [Jingling sounds in the background] I know, but you can still... make out wha' it says in the... thoo- thing. Mememe, for the gold condition, and, you get all these ''lovely, lovely'' gold cards with mos'ly ''my'' [[Chris and art|artwork]]. [He thumbs through the cards.] And, some artwork of others, as well. Various conditions, love this family photo. [Chris stops and turns sideways one of the pictures accompanying his Sonichu Headquarters on Google Maps.] Varminny voices! Epp! Somebody got a headache! Up! [He stops at another card.] There's your best crossover card. OK KO card, which doubles up as a shhhh, a ssh, a shipfic card. Uh... I am not reading your comments, so yer hate is not being heard [warbling falsetto] AT ALLLLL!

[After thumbing through the whole pack, he puts the gold cards down.] And, shipfic, the ship cards star'in' with a lovely li'l picnic, featurin' [[Night Star]] and [[Kun T’Nyuget|Kun]], [sniff] we'll jiz' give ev'ryone a peeek, up' we have in here.... whee... [He thumbs through the next pack.] Introducing the metafixical layve poison! The love poison that, there removes starrt carrds! This is a [warbling] tren' that I'm [screeching] starting! [singing] Greatly, well on... [He stops at a card.] Upp, that's not the one, son of a gun... There we go. Hup, I do like this card, Sonichu versus Rose in a Pokémon card game, and it battles a shipfic card between Magi-Chan and Pokia[?]. Ah, that's more HP than the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale|Wailord]]/Magicarp tag team! Do well. [He fishes out the last card in the pile.] Ah, forgot, we gatsta zap ta da extreeeeeeme!
And, lastly, ze pony deck. Dey're in alphabetical ''order''. It's kinda difficult, y'all can see for yaself. [sniff] Alphabetical order by... character name. Up! Commodore [singsongy] cell phone! There's a snow phone in this deck! [falsetto] By da Commodo.

Darkbird's got da power. [blows a raspberry] [[Jerkops]] an' janekops... one of which is... merchanical! lookadat fayce! Pfff, it's half metal. [At 5'51", a [[Liquid Chris]] card can be seen as Chris thumbs through.] Huh. Pfew. [at a Black Sonichu [[medallion]]]. Hey. [[Niggos|Nikker]]. Here's a shoutout to you, maker! Here's yer Nightvee! [talking through teeth] He's a good boy. [About 6'23", [[Chandler Cats#Baby|Baby]] walks in from the right. He remains about thirty seconds.] Nyaaa, there's a cat. Boy! He's ow' wi'l Ba-by! Ge' off da table! [More jingling from Baby's collar]

And tha's basic'ly i' for what's in the decks, an' [baby voice] you, bunn'a which...! [Chris picks Baby up from the table and carries him to the sid before sitting at left. His filthy denim skirt is visible for a second before he seats himself at left, with only part of his lead-grey shirt and his right arm visible.]

Hmpf! Well, bein' I don' hafta sweat it, pos, da formness [warmness], uh, this, now! fo dis play-''through'', we will be only- we will be mainly using, only, what is in the, included in the deck, so there are no expansion packs, including Eunice. Ah, shi, I forgot one more thing that is also included, [Chris reaches behind him, searching for something] all important, e'rybo'y shou' pay lotta attention to da, this included... da, da role cards, front and back, the old-fashioned way, sits, three, sits, three double-sided cards and expanded rules, including details about the... rule t'ye deck. Wait a minute, is there two cards in dis? [Chris inspects his hards.] Ah, okay, did it... Oh boy... Derp. [nervous laugh]

Anyway, so, yeah, expanded ruuuules. It's good to solitaire, multi-deck gaaame. And additional details that were not originally covered in the original, set of rules from on-line but there's important details online. An... anatomy! card. Card anatomy? That's...sh-should put on the card a long time agooooo... Aah. Bu' Ah di' it! [[A little bit of Gary Stu|Gary]]'s speedin' away.

So that is what you get in this wubbly, wubbly deck. You get all dat. [Chris leans on the table, lifting the entire playing field. He grunts and blows another raspberry.] Hmm... Must be here, there....

Okay, so, being we ain't going to concentrate on that, but, maybe I would need an additional one, I'm going to incluuuude, for dis play, the promo star card of CWC Psychlight. Cuz, y'know, mainly [manually?] shuffling troo the start cards, so... this'd be just one of the additional bonus finally, because amongst the expansion packs, there's an optional bersion of these with... additional... power abilitiiiies, awailable lon [[Cwcvilleshopping.com|da pre-sale Web site]].

But without further ado, let's get to shuff-uh-ling. So we're gonna start by shuffling de gold deck. Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-dee [screeching] I'M NO' REEDING YO CAMMENTS, so [chipmunk falsetto] PHOOEY ON YOU, HATERS! [three-second raspberry] [warbling] Oh, froh! Whoaly! Shyleah. Pfft. Ha ha ha, [raspberry] Yeah, it's a good show, hehehaha, I'll watch all the Shera there has been, it's really good. I wonder when's the next season?

And, going on... [Chris lays out the cards.] (10"00)
}}

====44:52 to 55:17====
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|Transcript|So here’s a wild regular Rosechu female, so, yeah, why not, since this is a gender change card we’ll just say the wild Rosechu is male now. (long pause) And I do believe this is a legal play, so we’re gonna say “The Conch That Brought the House Down” happened between the “Red Janekop” and the “Wild Rosechu”, which I do believe in this case means the thunderbolt happens, which “If this card is shipped with “Villain”, you may discard that pony card from the grid…oh, that’s right, play a pony card in its place. Hmm, oh we’ll bring Silvana in. And “Fight Tactics”, so essentially she has the ability of a “Changeling” and some. Hmm, (muttering) oh, let’s just say Silvana is Sonichu Prime there. Now let’s say Zelina comes in with Mystic Archery to take out the Mecha-Jerkop and replace him. And we’ll say “They Met Under the Sea”.

Nyeh, ol’ Helene the Mecha-Jerkop. And my hand is empty, so draw some more cards. I need four Pony and three Ship. Okay. We have Jamsta, there’s another Jerkop, Sandy, there’s Walsh. There’s. Walsh. Inside Technology where he’s literally inside technology. There’s (angry noises) it’s a fuckin’ Bluespike. Fuck da, fuck da, fuck da, MMMMMM! No, no, no. Mm, “Method Acting”. (Chris looks over his cards) Hmm… (continues looking over cards) (muttering) Hmm, do I want to save that for later… Hmm, I’m gonna say the Red Jerkop comes in and replace Zelina. (pause) (weird voice) Hmm, all the Jerkops and Janekops have seemed to be replaced. There shall be no relationship benea – between you, but – between you two in the name of Marjuwanan (???) Walsh.

(pause) Ah, speaking of which, let’s say Red Count Graduon got some Inside Technology tech with Walsh. And her Fantascension (???) any and all Pony cards without the Sonichu and Rosechu keywords on them surrounding this card on the grid gain the Villain keyword. I didn’t mean to knot their ship, so he’s not getting the keyword – he’s not getting the Villain keyword. (sigh, long pause) And we’ll say this Wild Rosechu gets a Method Acting with Sandy. Gender change option, um, eh, let’s leave that for now. So Biggest Dirty Hole (?) search the Ship, er, Pony discard pile for a card of my choice. I’m gonna go for the shit pot. (?)

(long pause) Wow. Okay, let’s bring more fun into this. And Punchy finds the Metaphysical Love Poison and brings Sonichu there. And takes care of this chain. Still… attached. Hmm. (pause) Definitely should’ve put more new goal cards in this. (pause) Eh, let’s do it. Eh, no, let’s not do it, I’m gonna save it for – I’m gonna try it next turn. Alright so, end of turn. I’ll draw… two cards in my hand, so draw three Pony and two Ship. Alright, and in our hand now we have Reldnahc, we have Cerah, Soul of Graduon, The Coming Out Story, (lol) and Blinded by Fate. (Chris considers his options) Alright, Sandy was Blinded by Fate, and Soul of Graduon came in. With a draw effect, so I get to draw a card. (long pause, eerie music is heard in the background (54:30)) This is, yeah I’m gonna go with this. Let’s do this for the final bit. Alright so, Red Jerkop has to hear The Coming Out Story from Reldnahc, which his ability is if he is shipped all around with four other villains, I’m able to put a Pony card and replace these five Pony cards from the grid, at the end of the turn move cards – move to the discard pile.
}}

====55:16 to 1:05:34====

{{collapsible

|Transcript|
So I’ll just put that there for now. (pauses, looking through cards) Hmm… yeah, Trickery. Oh, well let’s do this then, I’m just gonna go with the Epic Online Bully (hey, that’s us!) and I take a Pony card from the grid and reattach it elsewhere with a Ship. That card power activates at the end of the turn until the Pony card attached to the Ship is discarded or moved from the grid and gains the keyword Villain so moving Punchy. Going with that. So, pretty much with that one move you know what happens? We just reset the grid! And our start card’s not in the center. (Chris removes all but his start card from the table) “Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!” “I’m not in the middle of the table anymore, what am I doing here?”

And I’m counting, and I do believe, yes, we just discarded more than ten Pony cards, so we just earned a Crash n’ Dash Diet. And that’s three points, so now I have five points out of eleven. Let’s go, card. Ok. (grunting card title) Do Not Call Me Gay! Win this goal when three male-male ships have been played in a single turn. I don’t have any Ship cards, so (sigh) time to draw. I’ll take four Ships. Oh, fun time. So we’ve got a Lovely Picnic, got Magi-Chan’s Guidance, we got Watching the Sunset and The Trading Card Game League. Hmm… but first let’s get a few more Ships in. Umm… (looks through cards) Okay, so let’s see, there was a Lovely Picnic between Metal Sonichu and Jamsta.

So I get to search fo—he has a special search that lets you search for up to two Pony cards from either—either of the Ship or Pony deck. (Why would a Pony card be in the Ship deck to begin with?) (Chris searches the decks while mumbling inaudibly) “Wait, they’re losing it! That’s a good-for-call gold deck.” (???) Yeah, sure, let’s go with that. We’ll go with that and the Crossover Tournament. Let’s do that. (weird voice) “Yeah, that’ll do.” Alright, so, the Crossover Tournament between Metal Sonichu and Simonla. So we’ll diiiiiiig deep. (looks through cards. Why are there so many “search the deck” cards? Maybe it’s just me, but that probably isn’t balanced.)

Oh there is another Rosey option in here. (briefly singing to himself) Ah, there we are. And shuffling the deck. Hmm-hm-hm. Alright, there it is. I’m gonna go Sonichu Watches a Sunset with Rosey! So we’re just Shipped the Primes. Activate this goal in my hand—this goal in my achievements. It also allows me to boost my hand size by one for the remainder of the game. So, alright. Full-Volume “Whoaly Crap”. (Apparently the name of the card???) Win this goal when a Pony card is shipped with a Pony card that has its race changed or a keyword added. (high-pitched voice) “Nuhhh! The mega calls Linus! No, no, no!” (???)

(looks at cards) (sigh) Hmm… No, let’s do this, I’m gonna say Rosey found some Guidance with Magi-Chan and share it with a female Sonichu from the wild with a new goal effect, so I get to swap out… I get to discard this goal and put a new one in its place. We’ll put that over there. Alright, Boob Wife (probably not the actual name of the card, but that’s what it sounds like he’s saying. 1:02:12) Could have used this a while ago! Win this goal—I was trying to work up to this, that’s when all those Jerkops and Janekops (slams hand on table) over here-- when at least three Jerkops and/or Janekops in any combination have been moved or discarded from the grid the same turn. I believe there was also one where if they were all shipped in the same— shipped in a chain.

Oh well, aside from that, leeet’s doooo this! (weird voice) The Trading Card Game Leeeeeeeague, so I can bring in a new start card! (high-pitched voice) You’re watching history in the making (normal voice) aaaaas we bring in a new start card. And let’s do this, I’m bringing in the CWC Psychlight. So now we have two start cards. And they both need to remain where they are, even if there are no Ship or Pony cards in between them, which we’ll get to that later on, I feel certain about it.

Oh, our present goal points in case nobody—in case y’all haven’t been counting, we have seven out of eleven right now. And the effect of the CWC Psychlight here. Once returned—when this card is shipped with Chris-Chan, you may draw the top card from either the Ship deck or the Ship discard pile. So your de-- you get a Ship-- Ship card if you ship (sing-songy tone) this CWC Psychlight with me. (slaps leg) (But which version of you, Chris? Any of them?) And I don’t have—this is not a Ship card, this is only a Pony card, so end my turn. Let’s draw three of each.

Heh-heh-heh-heh! Well guess what came from the night? (I think it’s the Gary Stu card? I don’t know. 1:04:00) There’s Vamprosa, there’s a Janekop, there’s a Janekop, (in unidentifiable accent) we’re Zappin’ to the Extreme! And Standing Up to the Bully for Love Poison Medical Recovery. (looks at cards, mumbling to himself) Alright, so (sigh) (continues looking at cards) Let’s do this, I’m taking both these Janekops and replacing the—replacing Jamsta and the wild—Soni—and the. (No, he doesn’t finish this sentence.) “One too late in the love row, Sonichu. No. Nooo!” (?) (looks at cards again) Alright, so let’s say Simonla enjoyed a Medical Recovery and Cerah was there to witness it.
}}

====1:05:35 to 1:15:24====

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|Transcript|Now here is where this new mechanic can be very, very interesting indeed. So we’re gonna (“cool” voice) Zap to the Extreme! Between CWC Psychlight and Ms. Vamprosa. And the effects of that Ship card—this particular card is I may discard a Pony card with the Villain keyword from the grid, so we discard this one. Now here is the main mechanic. I mean, there’s no pony card between those, so those are discarded, but on this side of the field we have Ace Darkheart (?) with all of these still linked, and on this side of the field we have this start card with this link. The two start cards can be reconnected, depending on the situation, or depending on how you see it, (in other words: when Chris feels like it) but those – the start cards that come in, they do not move from their personal location, but they can’t be reconnected on the grid.

(long pause) Eeh… enn, alright, so, and when you play a shit – when you play a Ship card you can play it from either start card, so I’m gonna say, oh boy, alright. So CWC Psychlight’s suddenly being bullied, so Simonla comes to the rescue. That’s still – they were – that’s – so there’s no start card, so oof. But like I said, yeah, because we just put Simonla on a square on the shipping grid that’s adjacent to the square that this one is, we can put a Ship card between them, and it’s fair play, then we end up reconnecting every – both portions to the field. So end my turn, I’mma draw a new hand. (slaps cards onto table) Gonna go with four Pony and three Ships.

Mmkay, so here is my counterpart in her Sonichu form, Christine Chan, oh, and there’s Crystal, there’s Sonichu and Rosey, there’s the other Rosey option, could’ve shipped this one with that Sonichu and win that goal earlier. And then there’s the Rosechu Medallion, the Bouquet of Special Roses, I’ve Been Lucid Dreaming, (good for you Chris) and Slipping into a Void. Now here is a technicality, cause you see, this is Christine Chan, not Chris Chan, so if I were to ship this with the CWC Psychlight I would not get the effect of drawing from the Ship deck or discard piles. Just putting it out there. (looks at his cards, mumbling to himself.)

Alright, so let’s – we’ll say for now, the Brown Janekop and Simonla share a Special Bouquet of Roses. And we just re-linked everybody on the shipping grid. (looks at cards) I have a strategy, I don’t want to waste any of my cards right now, so I’m gonna pause, just say end my turn, and draw a Ship card to refresh my hand to the seven. There’s a Classic Fourth Wall Break. (The card art is the page from Sonichu 10 where Chris sticks his head through the comic pages.) “Can we get on with this plot already?” “Alright, alright, I was just telling everybody what’s going on. Sticking my head through the page! Fa-ha!” (looks through cards)

Alright, this is gonna be a messy. This is gonna be messy. (looks through cards for like 30 seconds) Oh well, I’m gonna say it’s not a name. (continues looking through cards, muttering to himself. Hey, if it makes my job easier, I’m not gonna complain.) Okay, let’s say Metal Soni – Meta Sonichu had an act of (active?) Lucid Dream, and he borrowed Rosechu Medallion in a play – he found Rosechu Medallion. And all Pony cards shipped with that one all around gain the Rosechu keyword. But also keyword change, so… I am adding a Rosechu keyword to this, so a Pony card is shipped with a goal – Pony card that had its race changed or keyword added. So that’s eight points out of eleven.

Okay, I’m gonna carry on then. Now… oh, new goal card. Okay, Anniversarious (what) Relationship: when three Male/Female ships have been played in a single turn. (singing in acapella) Happy anniversary! Happy anniversary! Hmm. Okay, but essentially Male/Female, this can count either way, so that’s one Male/Female ship to consider. Hmm. Ah, yeah. Classic Fourth Wall Break. Found Sonichu and Rosey. Counts either way, and I may copy a copyable ability on the grid. I wish to nee—neh—no, wait. But… and then they Slip into a Time Void. They Slip into a Void to rescue Crystalina. And of course that’s female and that counts either way, so yeah. One ship, two ship, three ship, so Happy Anniversary! We now have nine points out of eleven.}}

====1:15:24 to 1:27:02====

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|Transcript|Hmm. Chaotic Rainbow’s Children. Win this goal when there are at least ten Sonichus and/or Rosechus with the Special keyword on the grid. And the goal is worth four points if there are ten Pony cards are each of different names. (sigh) Well since we have that, let’s count so far. So Special Sonichus and Rosechus. Special, Special, Special. That’s one two three. Alright, so we have three out of ten so far. And I don’t have another Ship card, so end my turn. I’ll draw three of each. (briefly sings a tune) Okay, we now have Evachu. Shout out to Lucas, Devil, and Eva. (Those are the Teen Troons, right?)

Ah! The CPU comes into play! And Christine Chan. Oh and I gotta Save the Arts. Ooh, Making the Hall of Fame and (high-pitched screeching) Senpai! What?! No, the flower be angry, but they don’t know… (?) I need to know… (cackles) (looks through cards) Well… Tell you what, let’s have a bit of… Get a bit more fun with this… Crystalina made the Hall of Fame. And I can play another start card on the grid. So let’s bring in my hubby! Calassic. And that is he—his catchphrase. Classic. So now we have three players on the grid. It’s a three-player game! (looks through cards) Hmm, let me see, that makes four Specials now. (pause) She’s like, “Senpai, What?!” And then, guess what? Here’s the—here’s the parent. I’m not sad. This is a good relationship. Heh-heh. Uh yeah, but so, once returned, when this card and this only comes to the fibbling (?) you do the shipping in particular, so this is when I may draw the top card from the Ship deck or the Ship discard pile.

And I’ll draw from the… deck. (looks through cards) Huh. This is Playing Tennis with Magi-Chan. Avachu. Healing Pulse, so I get to draw two cards from the Ship and/or Pony deck. So, yeah, let’s do one of each. (growling) Eggman… Nyeh, door god dear god (???) They fall in love with Zaptina. And you replaced Simonla. No! No. (sighs, looks through cards) Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I got Save the Arts, I got Save the Arts. Christine Chan’s gonna Save the Arts. And gender-change. So, alright, hell with it, we gonna make male Vamprosa. Think about that for a moment.

And I may swap up to two Pony cards on the shipping grid. Two Pony cards on the shipping grid. (pause) We’ll do… There, now Christine Chan’s shipped with Sonichu, there you go. Eee, hah, she’s doing the Classic Fourth Wall Break with Sonichu now. Just in the book—just like in the book. Hah. That’s funny. (pause) Uh, end my turn here, I’m gonna draw two Ponies and three Ships. Hmm. We got another—we got a Male Rosechu from the wild, Bubbles, Body Switching, I’ll show that off, yes, You’re the Chosen, and Attending Our Own Panel. Eh-heh-heh, yes. This is going to be fun.

Oh, this lovely event actually did happen between Magic—between I and Magi-Chan Sonichu a few months ago if everyone is willing to remember, despite the hateful comments that I am certain are lingering on the text query that I am not reading at all. Hmm. (looks through cards) Hmm. Alright, so let’s do this, so I’m gonna say we did a Body Switch between myself and Bubbles. So firstly body fit (?) we sweep the—swap the positions of two Pony cards attached to the grid, so essentially what happened to Bubbles’ body? (high-pitched voice) “What am I doing here? What am I doing? Why am I a human? Eeeh!” Body swap! That’s step one. Hmm. (looks through cards) Let’s see. The Medallion was found in a Field of Zapbuds by a Rosechu in the wild, and I get to draw a card so I’m drawing from the Pony deck. (looks through cards) Alright, but yeah, essentially I’m just gonna show—I’m just gonna show off this in a what-if scenario, I’m pausing the game for a moment just to show this off.

Okay so, let’s say I played another card that allowed me to swap a Pony card from one place to the other, so I’m gonna say let’s just say I did that over here and moved that over here, and there’s a new one over there, and then I did the same thing over here, so then would swap a Wild Rosechu with Bubbles, now at the end of the turn in this case, with that still in effect, in their present loscations regardless of whether they’ve been switched or not, they would essentially just be swapped in their present positions. (THIS WAS ALL ONE SENTENCE.)

So that’s the explanation behind Body Switching, that card. (Chris, that didn’t explain anything.) (looks through cards) Hmm. I’m gonna, alright so, now let’s bring in some Internet Trolls. I can only play this Ship card if there is a Pony card with the Villain keyword in my hand or on the grid. Now that plays—played with a Villain card from my hand or I may take a Villain card from elsewhere on the grid and reattach it to this Ship. And these two Ship cards go into the discard pile. (looks at cards) Hmm. Let’s see if I—alright, Sonichu and Rosey were at the panel that was, um, attended by Magi-Chan. Cause place on the shipping grid, move a start card, reattach it to this Ship card. So let’s see, who else is still attached to a Ship card on the grid? They are, they are, these aren’t. See you.}}

====1:27:02 to 1:36:45====

{{collapsible

|Transcript|Probably should do a Special count. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Hmm. And that’s it, I’m gonna end the turn and I’m gonna take four Ship cards and one Pony card. Hmm. There’s Devil, there’s Devil. (quickly grumbles) The uncomfortable man. (???) And then, come into my void, oh man, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Ha! Oh. Waiting In Line, (deep voice) I Am Darkness, and Saving a Foe. (looks through cards) Alright, let’s do this. Where… waiting. Magi-Chan’s Waiting In Line and Christine Chan found him. (looks through cards) Eh, I’m gonna end my turn and take two Pony cards.

Huh. Got Metonic. (nasally voice) I’m A Phone! We got the phone! “Ring-ring hello, ring-ring hello!” “Yes?” “Hello! Hello!” “Hello!” “Hello!” “Hello!” (Random-access humor at its “finest”.) Alright, so Christine Chan Saves a Foe. She saves the Soul of Magi-Chan Sonichu, and she saves him. Hmm. I don’t wanna do that. Don’t wanna do that. Want—I want Sonichu and Rosey to be Saving the Foe—Saving the Foe. And they happen to rescue—they end up rescuing his soul. So essentially that’s a keyword change… Hm. I’m not gonna worry about that. Ugh, I should have worried about that, I could have used it on another card that’s… (looks through cards)

Oh well! Coming up into—coming up from the darkness is… Devil. (looks through cards) How many Special Sonichus and Rosechus? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. (sigh) Okay. The Soul of Magi-Chan went into the void, and found a phone. Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? I get to search for a card. (looks through cards) Let’s go with that, yeah. So yes, but I do believe I played three Male on Male ships, so I get this single point, and what does that bring us up to now? Seven, eight, nine, ah. Ten points. Oh boy. (shout-singing?) “You wouldn’t shatter my heart, you wouldn’t shatter my heart, you wouldn’t shatter my heart, (unintelligible screaming)” (sigh) Break up a ship between Chris Chan or Christine Chan and a female individual. (How incredibly specific.) (sigh) And there’s Christine Chandler attached to—shipped with Magi-Chan.

Oh hey, she’s shipped over there, so that’s a possibility. Uh, but I’m more concerned with, ten Sonichu and/or Rosechu, with Special keyword. (sigh) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Eh. Okay! We just earned the Chaotic Rainbow of Children. Well that’s seven, eight, nine, ten, that’s… thirteen points, cause there are—there’s the same name within that set—in that set, so game over! Would I have been able to do that? Hmm. Yeah, I would not have been able to earn You Wouldn’t Shatter My Heart. But anyways, so, there you go, just plaaaaayed—we just christened the Sonichu deck for Twilight Sparkle’s Secret Shipfic Folder.

This is available right now on presale directs from me, and the uh printing website that I’m accompanied with. I have… eh—I have three more expansion packs planned, aside from those that are already available now as listed on the website. (muttering) Eh, may as well put this box here. So I’ll be putting a link in the description below this video so y’all can go check them out for yourselves and the special offer includes when every—everybody makes a purchase on there additionally gets a full set of eighteen promo cards, including this CWC Psychlight. And for those of you who spent a minimum of 100 dollars, (shame on you) on this presale event, will get one of the fifteen-card expansion packs randomly selected depending on what was purchased.

And I don’t have a copy of that big ol’ box myself yet, but if you buy the whole kit n’ kaboodle as it is now or after I have all the expansion packs up and about, I’ll include a big ol’ box—I’ll include lar—long box like this one with a lid, it’s got lovely pictures on it, I’d love to preview it, but like I said, don’t have box printed on hand yet, I’m waiting for it, I have one on order for myself, but that box will be included if you buy the whole… box with the deck and one of each of the expansion packs up to this point, as well as the remaining three expansion packs.

So for this points and uh—eh, hmm, trying to catch up with my thoughts. Okay, so anyway, af—after this, also… (sigh) I’m thinking, my brain is going out of order. Neh. Essentially what’s going to be happening is I’m gonna be talking with vendors and online sellers and to sell Secret Shipfic cards and I’m gonna talk with them and als—then I’ll let them sell my deck and expansion packs between their websites and at conventions, including BABScon, so… That’s it for now, thank you all for watching this lovely bit of chaotic gameplay, y’all take care and see y’all next time. Love and peace! (shuts camera off)}}

==Taking TSSSF Product Photos==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Taking TSSSF Product Photos
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qaMATKz3eQg}}
| stardate = 8 [[December 2019]]
| subject = {{Video games|[[TCG|Card Games]]}} {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = The Classic 2.0
| saga = {{Business|text}}
| other = {{Live|text}}
| previous = [[Twilight_Sparkle%27s_Secret_Shipfic_Folder_Livestreams#Playing_Twilight_Sparkle.E2.80.99s_Secret_Shipfic_Folder_with_the_New_Sonichu_Deck.21|Playing Twilight Sparkle’s Secret Shipfic Folder with the New Sonichu Deck!]]
| next = [[Live Reading of SNT Vs Sonichu, Part 2]]
}}

===Transcript===
====0:00 to 15:00====
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|Transcript|
[Video begins. The camera is focused on a table holding several boxes full of Chris’s homemade cards and a McCafe cup. Chris walks into shot while speaking, and sits at the table.]

[Sigh] Hello, ever’body, this is Christine Chandler comin’ to ya live from home once again. Today I’m doin’ something completely special, ‘cause I pretty much have enough produts, [he fiddles with the boxes] to actually take, uh, photographs [he leans down so that we can just see the lower half of his face] of, using my second phone. [In a smug, nasal tone of voice] Yeah, I got twooo phones, [he points at the camera], one for da trolls, and one for my, uh--one for my trolls, one for my homes, [he points at the camera again] I got twooo phones. One for da bullies, ‘n one for my friends. Do you think I need two phones? You’re recording me with one, you’re taking pictures with the other one. [Shrilly] I think that’s a pretty good reason! So anyway, let’s go through what I have here. [He picks up one of the boxes, which is marked with a borrowed or stolen fanart of Sonichu on one side and the merging Earths on the other] First off, I show off da bots. Dis is da bots where, er, past established dets and expansion packs will be packaged into when you buy the whole kit ‘n caboodle. Um, of course, well, dis is tak–dis is discounting the Sonichu villains pack--Baby! Don’t mess with that! My cat Baby. {Editor’s note: That is such a lazy fucking name for a cat} Hey! [He leans off camera to grab the cat] Don’t mess with the cable! [In a higher pitch] Don’t mess with the cable! [He picks the cat up and holds it in front of the table for a moment] Yeah, c’mere, buddy. Now it’s a cat video, there’s a cat. [The cat starts wriggling and he lets it go] Awright, let you go. Don’t mess with the cable. I’m recording here! [He gets up and walks away from the table] You mess with the cable, you mess with my power system! [He turns on a faucet offscreen and says something shrill; the running water and his tone largely obscure the words. He returns to the table and sits down with a stress sigh] Now. As I was saying, dis is a lovely custom designed rigid box, and before anybody asks, I gave errybody dis foretaste of de big ol’ world. It’s not a combination of Earth and Saturn, [he begins shuffling through cards] it’s atshually an image for one of the cards from the deck. Of which I shall present to you all once again. Dah-ta-dah, here we are--Hey! [Shrilly] No no no no no no no no! [Thumps something on the table to scare the cat away, shaking the camera slightly. He stress sighs] Kitty-cat messing with da symbols--the cables. [He holds the card up to the camera, showing us the image of the merging Earths] See? Dimension Merge Completion. Dis is essentially an image of myging–da merging of da two Earts between Dimension 1218 and C-197, which is very much happening. [He puts the card back into the deck] And I’m not listening to any hater comments on that. Which, also on that, you know, not reading your comments, but donations are greatly appreciated, thank you very much.

Anyway, so . . . I have my cards so far, and some of which I have printed individually in advance, so . . . [stress sigh] now, back to the bots, back to the bots [he picks up the box again, rotating it as he speaks. He doesn’t seem to notice that it’s mostly out of frame as he does this] There’s one side, and the other side, and anurr side, there’s anurr side, there’s da top, and the bottom’s all black, and you open it up, and I had da dis–I did dis with my . . . kit ‘n caboodle, to figure out how to arrange everything. [He opens the box, revealing it to be stuffed with several smaller card boxes, like an autistic matryoshka] Ta-da! Can fit all the–fit all the deck and etspansion packs in dere, [Baby wanders past at the top of the frame] ‘n which would be arranged carefully. Now doing--d--I do not have the . . . [he picks up some sheets of paper, the first of which bears an advert for the Samurai Pizza Bots expansion] Samurai Pizza Bots etspansion pack yet, though that is completed and a copy of it is on its way, [he sets aside the first sheet and reveals the second, an advert for the Nightvee & The Warriors for Andromeda expansion] aaand I’m still a few cards short of completing Nightvee and the Warriors for Andromeda pack. So–but we do have boxes of which represent--da--represent dose, in de absence of dose atshual botses. [He pulls out one of the smallest card boxes to show us] Cause, you know, de size of de Samurai Pizza Bots bots [he holds up the SPB advert again] is essentially, nyeeh, da size of bots of the Super Mega Forms, or, here [he pries out two other boxes] de Idea Guy Corruptions and de Arizona Slime etspansions. [He returns those boxes and pulls out one of the larger boxes] And of course here’s de deck bots, the ones that [get put box?] will definitely be Nightvee and da Warriors for Andromeda, so that’s–so I got this bots, dis prototype bots for Arizona Slime [shrilly] dey don’t really need it, but oh well, MPC downgraded me from flip-bots to this, but at least dis makes good space-filler to represent dat neck of the woods. And dere’s definitely room for one more thin bots within here, so that’s doable. And [he pulls out another box] de OC bots is a flip-bots. [He pulls out another box, sighing] Da Chris-Chan pack is a flip-bots, and [he pulls out the last two boxes] Sonichu ‘n Rosechu n’ Night Star packs are tuck-botses, though you can tell dat Sonichu ‘n Rosechu pack is thicker ‘cause there’s more cards in there. That’s the choice I had to go with on the web--on de Make Playing Cards, MPC website. And of course there is room in here, round here, for de eighteen promo cards. But also what you can do with this bots aside from storing all your lovely kit ‘n caboodle, a’course . . . [he empties out the storage box, fishes out a huge stack of cards from one of the other boxes on the table, and puts them into the storage box] is store your playing cards in’ere as well, which you can have ‘em like that, though maybe with a cardboard on one side or the other, to make a lil bit higher, maybe use one from one of those Pokemon TCG elite trainer botses, to make do, to essentially have ‘em like that. [He pulls the cards out and puts them back in on their sides] Or simply just . . . put ever’body on their sides, it’s easier when nobody’s in sleeves [he angles the box to show us] but it does well for--even when they are sleeved and . . . [he pushes the lid onto the box] that works well. [Baby and Sylvia tear past the table; the rattling of their bells and tags almost drowns Chris out] So ya got options! And as always, options are what? [He points at the camera] They’re good.

[He reopens the box and takes out the cards] So, anyways, yeah, I had stated on the earlier point, we are doing . . . product photographs, so I’m putting all these botses back in dis bots here. We will not be doing product images for, uh . . . [he holds up the printed adverts again] well, I guess we could since I have these printed out, an’ I only have like a few cards of each pack. Like, I only have two cards out of the Samurai Pizza Bots and I have like Nightvee–n–mm–CPU maker cards for, uh, this pack. [Sighs] I’ll make do. [He sets aside the main box and picks up the three boxes full of cards] But dis is essentially good behind-the-scenes footage, y’all are getting a treat to see, as I take dese product shots for da--de webpage. So as you can tell, in these three botses, which obviously dere, [he picks up one box, puts it back, and picks up another box] let me get this one, dis one actually has writing on it, and Cosmic Eclipse boxes. [He turns the bottom of the box to the camera, revealing that he has repurposed boxes from a Pokemon TCG expansion to store his cards. His name is written in pen beneath the logo] But I wrote--I used a gel pen, marked on the bottom of bots, [he turns the box to show us the other alterations he’s made] da bots tops, and of course I put a card front ‘n back, and I wrote on the inside bots [he shows us the writing: CWC’s Cards I] inside, on the bottom, da side that goes forward. So, for–I’m decently organized, you know, start, pony cards, ship cards, goal cards, just like my regu’ar collection. So, we’ll start, we’ll start by figuring out the arrangement for the deck cards, so, [he starts pulling out deck boxes and cards] we’re gonna need the deck cards, and I’ll definitely note on the prospective webpages that card sleeves will not be included, and I’ll make sure to clear the area. So, ‘n this is definitely a difference here, [he holds up two cards, one of which is apparently a variant version] I mean, you get this card in da deck, but you get this in the etspansion, de Chris-Chan etspansion pack, so, it’s like [shrilly] you buy de etspansion pack, you could easily swap this out for a better–for a better full-art with an additional effect.

So, anyway, [he starts laying cards out and rearranging the table space, setting aside boxes as he goes] so we got that card, we got that card, we got this card, and . . . [we’re getting cards ?] that were in the deck, so we have those four start cards and I have--ever’body else sorted out here, so here’s all the pony cards for the deck . . . [mumbling] ‘n da ship card, more ship cards . . . and here’s all the deck ship cards, ‘n [mumbling] and a’course the goal cards for the deck, so . . . get that out of the way. [Mumbling] And get this out of the way too . . . [more mumbling] Now, well, I wanna focus on the product, because I have watched da commercials over de--I have watched de many, many advertisements over da years an’ . . . you notice I have da two playing mats underneath dese papers, so it’s like to . . . not to focus on any imagery dat’s underneath the product. Oh, I forgot one thing. [He opens up a random box] I ended up with a bunch of extra cards, ‘cause my advance-printed cards, some of them were actually larger than the typical poker size, so I ended up having to do reprints for myself, so . . . on this side I ended up with a tuck-bots versus de default flip-bots for de OC pack. So, nyaah, it was a learning process! Learning process. Gotta love to learn. I likes learning. {Editor’s note: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA} All right, so yeah, I just, I mean--since I don’t wanna unsleeve ever’body, that would be a time-waster, ‘n I wanna make sure de Secret Shipfic Fo’der is talked about . . . so, yeah-g-mm . . . gonna sample one of our start card, [shuffles cards] the kinda thing we I [loudly] n’yeah, dis is anudder prototypical thing I ended up with, [he fans out several cards to show the camera] dese choppy misprints on the back, aside from . . . [he pulls another card out of its sleeve] ‘n actually this’d be a good sample, so . . . so, n’yeah [he holds a card up to the camera] you can tell it’s larger than a typical poker card, so dat was my etsperience. I mean, it may not be as obvious when you’re . . . have ‘em in card sleeves, but . . . when you’re looking at ‘em in a deck perceptive [Editor's note: I assume he meant "perspective"} outside of sleeves, it [shrilly] it does make a difference! [Sighs] Thank you, children of [?] for waking me up to that.

So, anyway, I want a regular start card . . . [mumbling] put these back . . . I want a pony card with a typical back . . . [blows a raspberry and makes some babbling sounds as he fumbles with the cards and boxes] Dis is a learning process I had to go through in figuring all this out for myself ‘n everything. [Sighs] ‘N Magi-Chan was definitely able ta help me through all this, so . . . so muh--many props and thanks to him also. Um, [sighs] dose out of the way, we have our product pony card back, and [mumbles, pulls out more cards] okay, ‘n yeah, this’ll be our product start card, ‘n this’ll be our goal card, ship card, dere. We’re--we just need the backs ‘cause . . . they show the logo ‘n everything, and what’s typical in the pack, and it’s like obvious, if dere’s a start card in da pack, we’ll have da--we’ll have dat back face up. Pack or deck, it’s just, let ever’body know in de advertisements. So, yeah. I took photography in high school, as one of my classes, so I took some good photos. {Editor’s note: No, he did not} So, anyway, let’s figure out our arrangement now, so we got our kit ‘n capoodle [sic], n’ . . . [mumbles while rearranging cards and boxes] all right, gotta figure out good lighting, yeah, deck boxes, yeah, [mumbling] deck boxes to the left, dere’s better lighting from dat side, from my right. So, want to arrange a few select cards, and dat’s anurr thing that you see, we’re gonna be having the three decks back side up, so this’ll definitely be another sleeves-not-included aspect and why . . . we’ll need those sample backs. [One of the cats wanders past and starts scratching itself offscreen, its bell jingling as he talks] This is a process. It’s a good process. Hmm. [He begins laying out the cards] So I’m trying ta--I’m deciding how I want to do this. I mean, yes, could, we could arrange ‘em in a fold like that. [He lays out two rows of cards in a fan shape, one above the other] Wanna just take a few off the top like that. Hm. [He shrugs] It’s a valid presentation, but I feel like we could do better, like . . . let’s make an etsample of the game, right?
}}

====15:00 to 29:42====
{{collapsible

|Transcript|So here’s what we’re gonna do. (shuffles cards) We’re goin’ to take a start card, an’ place dat – we’re just gonna do da ship (gestures vaguely), we’re gonna make a – make, make a short shippin’ grid round here, and start cards’ll be – over dare, so I’ll put dat over dare, an’ den we’re gonna say we have da, ship – dat…pony ship an’ pony cards over here, oh I’ll pick a few examples outta dis (flicks through cards), aw, da God-dang, I just knew it – yeah, dare’s OK KO. Let’s Zap It Up…(flicks more purposefully, finds Dimensional Merge card)…yeah, I definitely want dat since we have it on da box, de Dimension Merge Completion, aaaand, hmmmmm….(more flicking)…one more, one more…oh, not good, not good…(music heard faintly as Chris falls silent)…ah, y’know what? – Family Photo. We’ll put dare (places cards), so..now, I’ll be needin’ da whole deck, so I place da goal cards, an’ da – top of da pack, dare (places more cards to his right), now…we’ll s’lect some, pony cards – move dis deck – do a bit o’ – shippin’ around…(more flicking. It’s almost as if he wants to remove any element of surprise and improvisation from this)…hmmmm…yes, let’s put Commodore Phone (yes, indeed, you can bang a mobile phone in this game if your luck’s in)…ummmm…I definitely like to get ME on the grid (places card showing one of his many, many self-surrogates, then MOAR SELECTIVE FLICKING)…let’s have Sonichu an’ Rosey over dare…hmmm. Yeah. Why not…my Dad over dare (lucky Robertchu. You are CHOSEN!!!)…I’m just, collectin’ and pickin’ (no shit, Chris). Hmm. – We’ll put Walsh over dare…ooh. I LOVE Roberta (chuckles) – we’ll put Roberta – uh, we’ll ship ‘er with Robertchu, how about dat…(Velocity of Bob’s spinning body approaches light speed) Dat works! (chuckles) I like dat. Hmmm…we’ll put Medallion over dare. And (more bloody flicking) I fink one more pony card…(long pause. Jingle jangle goes Chris’s cheap jewellery) Hmmmmm…Yeah. Why not? (places card decisively) Asperchu.

So, we have our etsample shippin’ grid, ‘cept with da pony cards we’d like(?), we put sample pony card pack on da deck back (he even appears to be confusing himself here), so, so now we’ll select some ship cards, and…I would like to make an etsample, so we’re gonna have one more start card to dis lot…ermmmmm…(wafts card around vaguely)…we’ll put Night Star over here. So dare’s dat. Down they lay…a-and, because we’re doin’ a second start card, I definitely want to put a (more fucking flicking) play from collection card, ‘cause…I fink dat works, (yells in sudden anger) HEY, BABY! BABY! (lurches out of frame, gut wobbling) BABY! NO! NO! NO! GET AWAY FROM DARE! (sounding amazingly like Cartman as he shoos the poor cat away. There follows what sounds very like something plastic being thrown in Baby’s direction. Sorry to be personal, but fuck you, Chris, you obnoxious manchild.)…Cats, amirite? (Yeah, so much less important than some shitty card game for ree-tards, amirite?) Oh-kaaaaay. TCG Lake(?). Okay, so dose – so dey end up in da card game together. Let’s swap Walsh an’ Night Star, why not, ermmm…den we’ll pick a few other ship cards, ermmm…(placing cards) Lovely Picnic, nice card to coon(?), place it dare…(long pause, more card-flicking and placing)..mmnyep-yep-yeeeaaahhh…hmmmm…so, dey Enjoy Da Concert…(long pause. More treacly light classical music is heard)…hmmm…ah, yeah. Alright. Dey met while waiting in line. (placing cards. ANOTHER long pause.) *stress sigh*

‘Kay, now dese is a whole bunch o’ paper, but I wanna make sure dare’s no distractin’ imagery underneath da cards. Dat’s da, ah, dat’s da point. Okay, now I shuffle dose cards, I’m gonna do Innernet Trolls between da Phone an’ Walsh. (Baby wanders past at a sensible distance, aloof.) Hey, dat works – dey’re infringin’ on da, tryin’ to get into da – technology, dare. (More flicking yet while he mumbles to himself.) Dare! Now we do What Is Dat? Ermmm, I worked in – Roberta and my Dad worked inna Double Teaaam, hmmm, an’…Savin’ De Arts…why not? Errrrr…I’ll do a Bouquet O’ Speshul Roses (chuckling)! Look, aw da hell, I’m tyin’ ‘em inna knot(?). Annnnd….hmmmmm…okay, we’ll see an Anchuent Prophecy party because dey brought da Phone in (whatever you say, Chris). Annnnd…alright, dare’s our shippin’ deck, and dese are our little arrangements of - dis’ll be our – Product Shot. So, I’m gonna take a pikchuh of all dis (picking up camera phone), from da lovely angle of my second phone…make sure it takes a good view…ummm…I’ve done dis…(he finally takes the snap, and thrusts the results into the frame) Ah. Dare. Dat looks pretty good. (No comment.) An’ dat will go on de – pre-sale website, later on. In a, in a little while. (Puts phone down.) Now we have dis pikchuh taken, I’m a just a – put dese all, set dose aside, hmm, hmmm…okay, den, c’mon. Pick up dese – oh, dose are start cards, pony cards on top o’ dose, and I’ll give dis a brief shuffle – annnd, good wi’ da pony cards…back in dare…start cards, I got dem, and well, dey were, I know – what a sensational beast(?)! Okay, dare’s start cards – I got da pony, I got da ship cards, an’ – put ‘em back in da ship deck – just give all dat – a quick shuffle (some 40 seconds have already passed since he first announced this intention)…put dat back…and I wanna work out (picks up cards) which ones I wanna keep. (Chris, you do not understand how shuffling works.)

Ooh…OK KO! Heh, heh. Das right. So…just dare, in da other box, annnnd…(hauls another bloody box of cards onto the table) dat’s it for da deck! Now to work on…we’re doin’ this in chronological order of – of – determine – uh, expansion packs, so – now we’re gonna do, yeah, we’ll do the Slime next, an’ I would like to have a prop, so I’ll use…use…(more box-shifting) dis box, and…(fishes something out of box)…hair not included. How did dat get in dere? So…we’ll put da deck dare, and prop dis (some cards) up against da box, an’ now I’m gonna pick out de cards dat are mainly fum da – from dat particular expansion pack. ‘Cept dare are now only two pony cards in de – in dat pack, an’ I’m now strugglin’ m I l k(?)…ummm…ummm…dare’s a good number o’ ship cards (trivia point – the slushy string music at this point is a cover of Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John), dey’re pretty much shuffled but dey, dey do y’know have de story on ‘em when you put ‘em in a chronological order, annnd dare’s a few goal cards in here…so…okay, dat’s da goal cards. (Moves boxes off of table.)

Now, we only – we’re only gonna focus on da cards dat are incluuuded with da expansion pack – dare’s no start cards in dis pack so in our sampler we’re not gonna include dat one (discards card). Now, let’s see, we’re gonna try to make up a simple, short grid with – what we have here – an’ what I have in mind, I’ll simply just orange strawberry m I l k token ex-barrier of protection(?) – of course, dat’ll actually prevent two pony, two cards from bein’ discarded, an’ dat now, I’ll see what I can figure out appropriate goal card (yet more flicking, incoherent rule-mumblings)…oh well, I’m just goin’ to say let’s pretend we have – doin’ a trick, doin’ a self-so set-up of cards right dare, I’ll just sit dose right dare, an’…mmmm…oh, I didn’t wanna do a sample, oh, what, you know what, let’s just arrange dis all – let’s just put all de – all cards together on dere (even he sounds depressed by how much fun he’s having). An’ den like dis, an’ den dare, an’ say dat’s it! Dat’s an example of a sheer pan (shipping?). Now we’ll just see here with all de other ship cards in da pack, an’ yeah let’s move dese closer to da boxes…make sure nothin’ is tucked underneath our paper, alright. (Picks up camera phone) Alright, dat actually does look good, ‘cept – for….(Lays out three more cards) Dare. Dat shows dat we only have pony, ship an’ goal cards in dis particular pack. So now, we’re takin’ de lovely picture of all dis…mmmm….ahhhhh….mmmmm. Try to figure dis out. Mmm…mmmm…feels like it’s a bit too…yeah, feels like I want de – dare’s da Slime pack box, closer…(moves stuff) Hmmmm, yeah…I want it to be in da centre of da frame. Now let’s put dat over dare an’ put dese to da front, an’ over dare…hmmm. Let’s put dese – oh yeah – let’s put dose beside dat…yeah, dat’ll do. Dare, dat looks much better. (Again, no comment.) Alright…hmmmm…(Still not satisfied, he abruptly starts shifting more stuff around the table.) Dese here…Making Art! Makin’ a bit o’ Art. ‘Cause we’re showin’ off LOTS of lovely Art. Alright…hmmm…(he moves stuff infinitesimally around again) And dat looks pretty good…now I’m gonna go with dis, an’ OOP! (Finally takes photo and holds it up to us again.) An’ dat’ll go on – dat’ll go on the original Slime listing. Okay, so I’ll put dese away (begins laboriously re-packing cards). Okay, an’ we’ll get our next buncha cards out…
}}

====1:09:57 to 1:12:57 Explaining freakout at SNT's fanart====
{{collapsible

|Transcript|. . . Lessee, we also have some Chaos Emeralds, and a Sonichite and Rosechite, an’ Divine Intervention, which helps you get your Mega Evolutions on the grid a lil sooner. I’ll do a s’play here, so there’s Mega Wild. [Abruptly loud and upset] He needs his tail to be a leaf! Its gliding properties make him able to fly and jump higher! [Very shrilly] Don’t give him a big ol’ poofy Pachirisu tail, Courtney! Come on! GAAAH! That really triggered me! [He abruptly becomes calm again]

Anyway, so . . . display ever’body around here, dah-ta dah-ta dah. An’ by the way, [he holds up a Mega Punchy card] his temporary tail, you see those silv--you see dose silver things on the sides of his tail of his Mega form? That’s a pair a’ sword blades. So he can actually detach ‘em from his tail and use ‘em as a pair a’ katana, literally. {Editor’s note: FUCKING WEEB} And he puts ‘em back on and dey just grow back in. Don’t . . . don’t try to logic this. All right? We’re beyond logic. {Editor’s note: That is the truest thing Chris has ever said.} [He coughs]

Excuse me. [He takes a sip from his McCafe cup] From da stress I have, watching dat video of the redesigned Chaotic Combo . . . [stress sigh] allowed the cold virus to get in. Dat’s what I’ve been dealing with yesterday and today. [He takes a long drink from his cup and exhales loudly] Ah, warm tea, with lemon. [Stress sigh]

I had to deal with . . . really messed-up brain, dat’s why I lit--[he bends down to put part of his face into frame] I ended up not on purpose, just ending up, making scrambled sentences. All right? [In a sulky whine] That’s why my brain was really fried, from the virus that was coming in. Got all stressed. [Shrilly] Took advantage . . . I have positivity ‘n optimism, an’ as calm and clear-minded as possible for meditation, to stave off--I’ve been able to stave off viruses for months! And then this fated event, this fated triggering set happens, an’ I just . . . [He whines, slumps back in his seat, makes another loud whining noise, fiddles with the paper on the table, and stress sighs] Anyway, I’m feeling better.
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Joey Vance]]|nextlink=[[Live Reading of SNT Vs Sonichu, Part 2]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2019]]

Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas

2021-09-14T00:36:24Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas''' was uploaded just a few hours after Chris's bizarre dance video on 15th December 2015. Here, Chris shows off his own version of the [[Christmas]] song "[[Wikipedia:The Twelve Days of Christmas (song)|The Twelve Days of Christmas]]", an indecipherable mix of Allan Sherman's parody "[[Wikipedia:The Twelve Gifts of Christmas|The Twelve Gifts of Christmas]]", and his own [[Autism|idiosyncratic]] additions, including how numbers are really letters, lesbianism, and asides about [[Random-access humor|"ten million yen and a big fat hen"]]. He also begs for more shekels.

Chris reprises his "[[I Got A Fish]]" song from [[2009]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas
| ytid = AR26rVSveO8
| stardate = 15 [[December 2015]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}, {{Music|text}}, {{Other|[[Christmas]]}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Selling Out|text}}
| shirt = {{The Happy Hag|text}}
| previous = [[A little song and dance]]
| next = [[Jungle bells]]
}}
{{quote|On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me|Needless to say, no true love gave Chris anything}}

==Description==
{{quotebox|Enjoy. :)}}

==Transcription==

[''begins playing a Christmas song on his iPhone'']

Seasons greetings and happy holidays, everybody!

Christine Chandler here. And er, I've come bearing a... variation, a new variation, possibly new with a little bit of old. Depending on what you will interpret. A variation of a Christmas classic, "The Twelve Days of Christmas." But we'll skip the repetition and somebody else can put- the singing parts with the tune.

And so with that, errr, on with the list!

[''Horrible singing voice''] On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me the instant classic the Japanese transistor radioooooh! ''[''Pumps fist in a look of success'']

It was a nakashuma! Mark 4! That was the model that was discontinued, it came in a leather carrying case [''very excited now''] with holes in it so you can listen to it [''Chris makes a gesture up to his ear as if he is holding the radio''] and it gave me this little wire that had an end that, one end you stick in the ear and the other [[Duck|one you can't stick anywhere because, it's bent.]]

[''begins singing again''] On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me the numerical alphabet. [''Holds up a napkin with what looks like a number 2 written on it in sharpie'']

Alright, so, this is, it look like the number two! But guess what? That is a capital Q in cursive. 2 to Q! and with the anonymous decision in my own mental head, two is officially a letter. And not only that, but, between the two and the five, you also get the "S" and "Z". And uh, skip to the round about in the alphabet, zero is an "O", one an "i", and the "L"...with the common link to number 7 that's also an L, but the number 7, with or without the cross, can still be the capital F! And the number three is the, uh, [''singing''] "E, M, N, W". [''Thumbs up and a cheeky grin''] And uh, shoot, four...four! four! is uh, "H" and a "Y" [''Puts hand up as if he was waving)'' Hi! And also, like, the number six and nine, four, six, and nine, are "B", "D", "P", "Q". Ah, let's see four, five, six, seven, and number eight! It can only be, the letter, "B"! But also, [''high pitched''] infinity!

And then, with that nonsense out of the way, [''begins singing''] On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me freeee, freshhh, fishhhh. [[I Got A Fish|I've got a fish would you like to make a wish!]] You're gonna do-you got yourself a fish? Now order a new side dish! Make a wish!

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... or rather she reminded me that I have not forgotten!? [[chris and sex|Anything]] or [[chris and anger|anyone]]. [''cheeky grin'']

And on the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me the jazzy hits from the good ole jumpin' jive era.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me the job of pickin' up... [[Chris's resume|sticks]]!

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me born female, angelic women and ladies, of all races and religions and what-nock, make, lesbians, bi-sensuals, straight...the drag kings, and the transmales that have "not" have the operation change yet... whatsoever.

[''wipes sweat off his forehead''] Sorry, dudes! [''chuckles'']

And then on the eight day of Christmas my true love... gave to me a late train of thought. [''puts hand on head''] The mislabeling (?) of autism! Veooo make me forget. Pth.

And on the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me a share of the platinum mine [[Wikipedia:Santa Baby|Santa baby]] gave to her last year.

And on tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, ten million yen and a big fat hen! Ten million yen and a big fat hen! Ten million yen and a big fat hen! A big fat hen!

And on the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me a bling clock tower of London! Big Ben!

And on the twelth day of Christmas, although it may seem straaaange... on the twelfth day of Christmas, I'm going to exchaaaange... twelve drummers stri-drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milkin, seven swans-a-swimmin', six geese a-laying, fiveee golden raaaaangs, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear [''high pitched''] treeeeeeeeeee!

[''clicks selfie remote button, doesn't work''] I might have more...redone holiday hits in the next few days before Christmas of 2015, but that's still to be determined. Donations are still greatly appreciated and I still welcome more orders. Figures and everything, and up until Christmas day donations of one hundred dollars or greater get one additional figure of their choice, though I can't guarantee before Christmas delivery. All donations are greatly d-appreciated, and I-but unfortunately I cannot offer gifts or donations be-less than ten dorrars, but the options are now there on my [[Etsy]] listing. And that's okay because not a lot of people are apparently able to find it. Or at least a few of them are unable to find it. D-it's got a big ol' blue background, double letter's-yellow letters, DONATION!

Thank you, have a good safe day, Merry Christmas.

==External links==
* [https://www.etsy.com/shop/CwcvilleShopping]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A little song and dance]]|nextlink=[[Jungle bells]]|}}

{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2015]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Truck Driver

2021-09-14T00:36:20Z

Resrsc: archive

"'''Truck Driver'''" is the 4th track from ''[[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]'' by [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]. It is a cover of "[[Wikipedia:Running with Scissors (album)|Truck Drivin' Song]]" by [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|"Weird Al" Yankovic]].

Yankovic's original song is intended to be a humorous juxtaposition of a rugged male voice and themes about a profession typically associated with men contrasted with lyrics that suggest the protagonist is a woman or [[Tomgirl|transvestite.]] The [[Parody|comedy]] is likely over Chris's head, and the song was probably chosen as a proud anthem of his Tomgirl lifestyle.

== Audio ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Truck Driver
| ytid = Sg0YXdKOP7c
| stardate = [[November 2011]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}} {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[If You Were a Woman and I Was a Man]]
| next = [[Girls And Boys]]
}}

=== Lyrics ===
I'm drivin' a truck 
Drivin' a big ol' truck 
Pedal to the metal, hope I don't run out of luck 
Rollin' down the highway until the break of dawn 
Drivin' a truck with my high heels on 

My diesel rig is northward bound 
It's time to put that hammer down 
Just watchin' as the miles go flyin' by 
I'm ridin' twenty tons of steel 
But it's sure hard to hold the wheel 
While I'm waiting for my nails to dry

Oh, I always gotta check my lipstick in that rear view mirror 
And my pink angora sweater fits so tight 
I'm jammin' gears and haulin' freight 
Well, I sure hope my seams are straight 
Lord, don't let [[Kaka Makeup Basics|my mascara]] run tonight

Because I'm drivin' a truck 
Drivin' a big ol' truck 
Smokey's on my tail and my accelerator's stuck 
Got these eighteen wheels-a-rollin' until the break of dawn 
Drivin' a truck with my high heels on

Oh, I don't mind when my crotchless panties creep right up on me 
And my nipple rings don't bother me too much 
But when I hit those big speed bumps 
My darling little rhinestone pumps 
Keep slippin' off the mother-lovin' clutch

But still I'm drivin' a truck 
Drivin' a big ol' truck 
Headin' down the interstate, just tryin' to make a buck 
Wearin' feather boas with sequins and chiffon 
While I'm drivin' a truck with my high heels on

I'm drivin' a truck 
Drivin' a truck 
Got a load to carry and some eyebrows left to pluck 
And I'm late for my appointment down at my hair salon 
So I'll be drivin' a truck with my high heels on
{{The Tomgirls}}
[[Category:SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]
[[Category:Music]]

Tour of Chris's House III

2021-09-14T00:36:12Z

Resrsc: archive

'''Tour of Chris's House III''', or as titled by Chris, '''IMG_7150.MOV''', is a video the [[Idea Guys]] had Chris record privately and save to his Google Drive on 9 [[March 2018]].

Compared to previous house tours trolls had Chris record in [[2009]] and [[2013]], the house is slightly less cluttered than it used to be, however, Chris has taken on hoarding habits learned from [[Barbara]]. Following the events of the 2014 [[house fire]], the parts of Barbara's hoard that weren't completely destroyed are still packed away into boxes set throughout the house; while the hoard still dominates the kitchen and upstairs living room, the oven and sink are actually ''accessible'' this time. Chris, on the other hand, has massively expanded his toy hoard, using the downstairs family room as a dumping ground for it, complete with narrow walkways to access parts of the room. On a lighter note, Chris also appears to have salvaged the 'Dreaming Studio' sign from the toolshed outside and brought it into his [[room]], which is relatively less cluttered than the rest of the house.

On 11 [[December 2018]], the [[Teen Troon Squad]] leaked a portion of the video onto Chris's Twitter, marking it as the second [[Idea Guys]] video to be leaked in such a way. The Twitter post with the video included a troll-written description stating that for $500 the full video could be unlocked, which was then deleted by Chris.

The full video was leaked by a [[Watchman]] on 11 [[August 2020]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Tour of Chris's House III
| ytid = npxpE9Df0nU
| stardate = 9 [[March 2018]] (Fully leaked [[August 2020]])
| subject = [[14 Branchland Court]]
| style =
| saga = {{Idea Guy|text}}
| shirt = {{ManchildMeldownShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Damaged original art for sale]]
| next = [[Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)]]
}}

==Transcript==

===Intro (00:00-00:20)===

[''Video begins with a close up of Chris's face, revealing it is shot on a phone'']

[''Gives us a quick flash of the house before returning to face shot'']

Hello, on the internet, this is Christine Chandler, coming to you live from home once again, and today... givin' y'all an update nyauh- gonna take a tour of, the house... as it currently... is!

===Chris's work room (00:20-05:09)===

Um, ok? So, esc- es- start it... hm... pretty much from what is the family room is now my...

[''Turns the camera to show the room, which is unfocused''] ...kind of... living space- why is it blurry? The hell? [''Camera focuses, revealing a very cluttered room, but less clutter than before''] Oh, there is is. Just needed to focus, FOCUS! Anyway so that's... one half, um- that side but also, [[cats]] like to... hop on the couch, we don't let 'em, come in guests... but anyway, um...

[''Walks up to some boxes''] Um, boxes of... um... the VHS tapes, from [[Bob|Mr. Cs]] collection, and some of mine...

[''Pans around to show some monitors and piles of paper and toys''] and uh, there's the... [[PlayStation_4|PlayStation]] monitor and look! I've found the... [[Commodore_64|C64]] monitor today! Yep, right there with the old keyboard, 'n... there's the floppy disc drive, which needs some... hm, t-keyboard n' the disc drive need some [[Chris_and_work#Chris_hates_chores|TLC]], anyway.

[''Quickly pans away to move on to the [[Lego]] collection''] Um, [''sigh''] um, I'll give you, kind of an expansive view, of my nowd- my... old Lego kinda kits and whatnot, I'll go round the other side...

[''Walks around the central table in order to access the second half of the Lego table''] But anyway, I spend... most of my... time, on THAT side of the room [''Indicates towards the side he was just on''] neh- just-

[''Shows us various Lego buildings on this second half of the Lego table''] Yep, there's my... [[CWC_Lego_Manchester_High_School_Oct_18_2013|Lego high school]], there's my little house, srs... another house, there's the [[The_Simpsons|Simpson's house]], there is... spooky house, aneren... other... Legos... I've kind of lost track along the way, an... yada yada yada, um...

[''Pans down to show his desk''] There's m' desk!

[''Pans to his OC's [[Sonichu_Amiibo|amiibos]]''] There's, all my... [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] figure- phototype figures, um along with Sonic and Mewtwo there, just... because, for now.

[''Hold's Chris-Chan Sonichu and Magi-chan amiibo figures up for the camera''] Um, there's magi-chan and f- and I... yep! Why not?

[''Pans down to show his custom playmat''] And this is a lovely, custom, playmat I had, uh, printed... from uh... Custom... Ink, uh, it's got my, skylander... counterpart on it.

[''Holds camera down to plug the [[Xbox]] controller back in''] Excuse me this, chord unsti- unplug it's off, d- whynee- t'do dat? Stay in! Stay in. Hm, stay.

[''Pans up to show another monitor and then pans around the room''] Um, there's my monitor! Um, there things... it's that...

[''Shows [[Equestria Girls]] figures below monitor'']Um, uh, equestria girls... figures, and sympoa- hm... ther's my figure! And... there's [[Night_Star|Nightstar]] with... [[Kun_T’Nyuget|Kunt Nyuget]]! Yep! Anenereyouare!

[''Moves around and shows a printer covered in clutter''] Heh, ok um, there's, uh-I, clear it off when I'm printing or copying... me-uh, uh-don- uh.

[''Pans over to a box, but refers to a suspicious looking container on his desk just off to the left of the screen''] And that's... not what you think it is! It's just a little container of candy, ok? See? A container of, candy, and, s-musuruh, s- lu- toy! It's... candy, alright?

[''sighs, and shows the "That's Life" Snoopy book''] and, found this in the workshop, that's life, Snoopy, yep! That's life! It's crazy! Aaargh!

[''Walks over to and shows a stack of printed Sonichu comic books with some re-boxed custom painted amiibos on top''] Hm, there's... my... copies of my printed books so far, with uh... just a couple of things in the top...

[''Pans up to show gaming laptop''] There's my laptop, and...

[''Pans right to show binders of current Sonichu projects''] here are my current... binders of, projects, uh when I sit down in front of it I have a...

[''Walks over to and shows a cushioned folding chair''] I use this! Folding chair right here... uaah.

[''Pans down to some briefcases''] Then, that's my... pillowcase, it's got my medicine in it, like... I take daily, and...

[''Pans up to an easel and canvas with a lot of drawings on it.''] I stand- t-tuh- to draw nowadays, there's my- back up a bit- there's my, easel and canvas, uh, just see some things up there, I... draw on the board- on the clipboard on the top!

[''Walks over to and shows some games''] And, there's just, some other things, there's... some games I have- but something... fell.

[''Picks something up''] Gravity, it... happens.

[''Shows some art supplies and toys''] Euugh, other things I... just put stuff around here, for my... [''sigh'']... something I FORGET THE WORD, THERE!

[''Pans around in a circle to show the whole room''] What's the word? What's the word? Surroundings... from my surroundings, just... it's all I'm used to. And I've been used to, cluttered, type things, uh, pfff, life is. Um...

===The hallway (05:09-05:35)===

[''Pans to show the hallway''] Here's the hallway, and...

[''Shows the Poster of SLGBTQ pride cover''] That's... poster, with uh, Sarah, Christine and Roberta... Rosechus and Sonichu, uh... but other than this and that... um...

[''Pans over to the family photo drawing''] There's the family photo!

[''Walks down the hallway to show more art on the walls''] And, a little bit of, old art, here and there... in this hallway.

===The laundry room (05:35-06:05)===

[''Shows the laundry room, which despite the name has little to no room at all''] Um, laundry room, with... it's... I'll say blocked. Can't... already get to the back door but, we'll eventually clear it out.

[''Shows some filing cabinets and utilities''] There's... filing cabinets, and... a washer and dryer. Right there.

[''Walks back down hallway, and shows a calendar which is set to March 2018''] Um, there's my calendar, uh, with uh, moistures calendar above it, s- because I like, that artist Norman Roxwell, so did Mr. C and... a couple pictures of, me in my Sonichu form.

===Chris's room (06:05-07:53)===

[''Pans to look into his room in which the light is off''] Here's... my dru- lemme turn on the light

[''Turns on the light, Revealing a wooden bed with a pink duvet and a lot of clutter''] A'right there's my... bedroom, just...

[''Walks over to the bed''] And there's the bed. Ok? Um, and...

[''Shows dumbbells on the floor''] Dumbbells, because I do fifty reps a day, eh, I got my...

[''Shows some wrist weights and ankle weights that are on top of a cabinet''] Ankle and... wrist weights up there along with my, waist sucher that sweats it out... m'belly.

[''Shows a night shirt''] There's my night shirt!

[''Pans around to show an unorganised messy storage of clothes''] And, my other assortment of... clothes, I just... washed my tracksuit and cap today, and...

[''Pans around to show a dream catcher on the wall''] With this and that- I've just made that dream catcher, uh, ch- chandler, it opens the heart, 'n, th- hearts-

[''Shows very old sign from Bob's family''] and look what I found in the workshop today, huh? Uh, you can seeing this mis- Mr. C? My old man, you seeing that? Huh? Found it! Found it. And, it's hanging right here, now. Hehehe, uh

[''Pans left to show some precariously placed vinyl records, with [[Wikipedia: Bobbie_Gentry_and_Glen_Campbell|Bobbie Gentry and Glen Campbell]] at the front''] There's a, few records over there, just, hanging about.

[''Walks across the room to show more toys and some pictures and posters on the walls''] Uh, du- du- du- dududu, uh, other things, there's bear- uh- Bearstein, there's uh... photograph of, something my fan made me, and, picture of, uh, those things that I like from, uh, that's on my 3DS. Front and back of my 3DS, there. And, Milo and TV, with Daniel Ingram's autograph, and, Bronycon 2017 poster there, there's my, desk lamp. And... clock.

[''Pans past full sized trangender pride flag and lesbian pride flag''] Um, there's... lesbian pride- there's my, lesbi- there's my transgender flag, here's my... lesbian pride flag,

[''Walks over to and shows an iPhone''] I... this is my alarm clock, this... wakes me up about 6AM... It was my previous phone... um... um...

===Barb's room (07:53-08:34)===
[''Walks to the bottom of the stairs''] Oh and upstairs I don't wanna talk much, because my [[mother]] is up there, I don't want her to get suspicious, but... that's pretty much where my mother is... uh, and our [[Clover_and_Snoopy|dogs]]... sometimes our [[Chandler_Cats#Cats_currently_residing_at_14_Branchland_Court|cats]]. Aaand, she's got mostly [[Barbara_Chandler#Mental|boxes of her clothes]] up there. [''Sigh'']

[''Starts walking up the stairs''] So I'll just go with that, and I'll just- have a look.

[''Reaches the top of the stairs, and pans right to see Barb sleeping on a mattress [[Barbara_Chandler#Financial_problems|on the floor]]. She is surrounded by high piles of boxes of her own clothes that could easily fall and suffocate her, or [[Destruction_Of_Chris%27s_House|block firefighters]]. There is a laptop playing soothing music in there with her. Chris then walks into the kitchen and turns on the light and starts panning the camera around af the various objects''] A long else, ok.

===The kitchen (08:34-09:48)===
Uh, this- this is our kitchen, um, we don't have much room, because, we got s- stuff that's cluttered in here, ever since we moved back in, buut we get by, um, we have our... counter top, we have our... big old refrigerator, with, Batman poster and my mom likes batman, nanananananana... uh, microwave...

[''Shows a large amount of washing up that needs doing''] Uh, there's the sink! We have a... water filter system, so that's good. Um, I [[Chris_and_health#Diet_and_nutrition|cooked]] chicken earlier tonight... um weus- um, washer... dishwasher, doesn't work for some reason, I forget why. It was discussed after, when we were moving back in, um

[''Walks over to toolbox''] ahh, du- du- daa da- just- we- just see, there's tools in that toolbox, hum, mm, and out there we fee- we feed our outside cats there. Um, ok what else? What else, what else?

[''Wanders over to a cabinet full of canned food''] Um, uch we store, canned goods... there.

[''Pans down to an ironing board''] Owell oxcheny opfeny anchony ironing board here. Hm.

===The bathroom (09:48-10:26)===
[''Walks into the bathroom''] This is our bathroom, our upstairs... bathroom, it could... do with a little TLC, whe-yip, um, whigonisiscome, ey- ir- uh- ihr- irhis- few more boxes.

[''Pans to a small built in cabinet''] Uh, that, and then... grandma's cabinet, uh, belonging to... my mother's mother. She wanted it, so, after [[Aunt_Corrina|Aunt Corrina]] died, so, she has that and we've got some things in out new, closet area there, there's- a door behind that that goes to... well, that would be the guest room there...

===The guest room (10:26-11:17)===
[''Walks to another door and opens it, revealing a very dark room''] And in here... is, turn on the light...

[''Turns on the light to reveal an extremely large number of dangerous stacked boxes.''] Um, this would have been the guest room, if it didn't... just store a bunch of our stuff in here. Um, it was our... craft room, there's a hutch-

[''Shows the other side of that door from before''] there's the door... which you just saw from the other side.

[''Pans down to show an interesting painting in the middle of a clutter pile''] There's a... picture there... and other things..

[''Shows a nice framed greyscale photograph of a young Barb which is on top of one of the box piles''] There's, a photograph of my mother, from many, many years ago, and other things...

[''Shows a disassembled light table stored among the box piles''] Over there is our, light table, it's disassembled, that needs to be- to put it's legs back on, ahh, de- de- doo, ah, what you see is, what you get with... everything, inside the boxes, possiposisos.

[''Leaves the room into the hallway''] Where's that light switch? I need to turn off the light.

===Chris's old room (11:17-12:43)===
[''Turns off the light, walks over to the door of his old room, and opens it''] Pretty much, last, and... kinda last, what was... bedroom, and, all that's lef- and glory, is now... more boxes.

[''The room is now filled with boxes and is very dark''] Just, over the boxes, um...

[''Turns to show a closet, but it is so dark that you can't see it''] New closet right here, and there's... boxes in there, uh, I don't know why this- ch- this phone's giving me- dim lighting on that, but, hm, anyway, uh, half this room is occupied by... my mother's boxes...

[''Zooms in onto various boxes Labelled as his mother's clothes''] Look! Clothes! Clothes... cloth, cloth, cloth, oh, [[Chris_and_Spanish|muchos ropas, ropas ropaas!]] [''Ropas is Spanish for clothes''] Hey einsme, and, all the way over here, is some... lots of cloth, some other things, the only boxes that are mine are pretty much, um, fffff- EEEUUUH...

[''Indicates to some boxes that he apparently owns''] Along there, there... there, there... there, uh, it pretty much ends... right. there, that's the corner, zoop, eeh, just- just seems,

[''Walks around and shows all the other various boxes and objects scattered around''] ye- uh, other things, uh, what was this for? MORE CLUTTER, things, I'd like to be able to uah- sort it out, but my mo- urgh just, wants me to- uh, so much clutter! AH, CLUTTER! Eugh, eh, so pretty much, um...

===Outro (12:43-13:03)===
[''Chris turns the camera back onto himself to end the video''] Ending it... what was... my bedroom, uh, that's pretty much it for the, inside the house tour, as it is today, so, [''sigh''] y-yup! Thank you very much, and, have a good day! Where is that button?

==See also==
*[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] (2009)
*[[Tour of Chris's House]] (2009)
*[[Tour of Chris's House II]] (2013)

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Damaged original art for sale]]|nextlink= [[Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)]]|}}

==External Links==
[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QW9WtRZw9W2fxLHRKHJ8I6d9dS47eF5U/view?usp=sharing Chris's Google Drive video link]

{{Troll Videos}}
{{Videos}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Tour of Chris's House II

2021-09-14T00:36:10Z

Resrsc: archive

In this video, leaked by [[Alec Benson Leary]] on 11 December [[2013]], [[Chris]] provides a '''second tour of [[14 Branchland Court|his house]]''' and the property that it's on, showing how it has deteriorated even further since [[Tour of Chris's House|the first house tour video]] in [[March 2009]]. It's quite telling how [[Chris's room]], messy as it is, is somehow more organized and easy to navigate than the rest of the house, which is often so cluttered with junk that it reaches to the top of the ceiling.

The exact date in which the video was filmed has not been established with certainty. Chris's narration seems to imply that the video was shot after Bob's death, suggesting a date after 6 [[September 2011]]. The video may have been shot during early May 2013. This video gives our last view of the house before it [[Destruction Of Chris's House|burned down]] on 10 [[January 2014]]. Notably, Chris's voice turns increasingly resentful over the course of the video, implying that even he may have realised the house was too cluttered and nearly impossible to move around.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Tour of Chris's House II
| ytid = DrTBH_VYVD0
| stardate = 11 December [[2013]]
| subject = {{Tragedy|[[14 Branchland Court]]}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{WhiteTShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]]
| next = [[Hello, my sweety baby]]
}}
{{quote|I'm not too proud of the state of the house.}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Sounds of clutter can be heard as Chris steps over a pile of trash.''] Mmph... Mmph. What you just seen was the living room, pretty much where [[Barbara Chandler|my mom]] and I are in, [''[[Stress sigh|sighs]]''] then what's been... what's blocked off the other side of the... actually that... actually that was the family room in it's entirety, both halves. But, the other half, the second half was blocked.

And then the bathroom down here and [''Struggles over the garbage blocking the passage''], pretty much the, that's pretty much the utility room, laundry, and back door, which that too is blocked. So freakin' cluttered in here, in this house. [''Grunts repeatedly'']

[[Bob Chandler|Mr. C]], my father, [[Obesity|had to have narrow passageways, but they were not this narrow]]. Anyway uh, steps going to up the front door right there, and then more steps going up... [''[[Chris and health|Pants heavily]]''] [[Chris's kitchen|Kitchen]] very much blocked off all over... with the ''[[Wikipedia:Resident Evil|Resident Evil]]'' refrigerator right there. I use the term ''Resident Evil'' because in Japan, ''Resident Evil'' video game is called ''Biohazard''. [''Some dinging sounds are heard''] And the one I cleaned recently.

That's as much of the living room as you can see above... To, above this lot, which essentially consists of two couches, [[Virgin with Rage|hardly been used.]] [''Sighs''] [''"Come On Eileen" by [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dexys_Midnight_Runners Dexys Midnight Runners] plays briefly on the radio during this line.'']

Bu- way through this narrow hallway, upstairs bathroom with bathtub and shower, pretty much [[April 16 Fetish Vids|hasn't changed]] since the [[Speech impediment|udder--]] since the trolls first saw it. [''Sighs'']

And this is [[Chris's room|my room]], obviously. [[Honor roll|Lot more cleaner than it is now,]] lot more clearer than the rest of the house, actually right now. Couch under [[Snorlax|that pile.]] Um, I'll make the bed shortly after. Anyway that's pretty much the inside of the house.

I guess I gotta show... I guess I gotta better show you the outside as well. [''Bends down to pick up what appears to be a plastic lighter.''] Me-- [''Sighs as he knocks something else to the floor.'']

[[The Simpsons|D'oh]]. [''Sighs again''] Droppin' everything. It's so crowded in here! [''Sighs''] Hoarding mom and dad and... everything... [''Sighs''] Cluttered, freaking cluttered.

[''Chris descends the stairs and opens the front door.'']

Hey [[Chandler cats#Scamper|Scamper]]! Yep, and we just exit the front of the house to the front yard. And there's accessible portion of the [[Wikipedia:Daylily|daylily]] garden. [''A neighbor kid yells something unintelligible.'']

That's essentially the front of the house. Yeah, that's... Yeah, I think the front yard is more cluttered than the back yard. Eh, there's garden shed. Pretty much not used n-nowadays.

My father liked to spend time in there. Yeah, trees cluttering up par-... cluttering up the gardens. And, driveway... more daylily garden patch. There goes...

And, you saw [[Patti|the pen]] in the back yard earlier. Mmkay, so that's pretty much, that's the- well, actually there's one room I missed. One room I missed.

[''Chris re-enters the house and descends the stairs, approaching a wall of clutter. He places the camera in a small hole in the wall, revealing an entire room behind it.'']

And behind this... door frame is... music room. Cluttered in there too. So yeah, I'm not too proud of the state of the house. Okay? So that's pretty much everything right now.

==See also==
*[[Tour of Chris's House]]
*[[Tour of Chris's House III]]
*[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]

==References==
<references/>
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]]|nextlink=[[Hello, my sweety baby]]|}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category:Chris's house]]

TooManyGames

2021-09-14T00:36:06Z

Resrsc: archive

{{quote|WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD? A peck on the cheek from a Celebrity that One Likes, Positively Mind You, Is NOT OFFENSIVE To Me.|Chris, trying to rationalize the behavior that got him kicked out.}}

[[File:CWC kicked out of Too Many Games.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris, after being told he was being removed from the con.]]

'''TooManyGames''' is an annual three-day gaming convention currently held at the Greater Philadelphia Expo Center in Oaks, PA. Chris attended the convention on 22 and 23 [[June 2018]]. He wore [[The Classic]] for Day 2. He had also brought along his [[baseball bat]].

He had started a GoFundMe page to help cover costs, as he had narrowly avoided foreclosure on his home one month before. Three people donated $120.<ref>https://www.gofundme.com/5oc2gtc</ref><ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/financhu-crisis-chris-sells-his-stuff-megathread.41369/page-92#post-3487182</ref>

Chris acted very inappropriate towards many of the guests there by kissing and/or touching them, especially those who took pictures with him. This eventually culminated in him being thrown out.

==At the con==
{{quote|I am here! Find me; selfies, hugs and smiles with and from me are free! Autographed card, on the spot, this weekend only: only $5.00. Cash or card.|Chris<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1010235699507888128</ref>}}
[[File:Chrisattoomanygames.jpg|200px|thumb|left|Chris with a Sonichu standee.]]
An event coordinator for the con, Justin Silverman (of Silvermania), arranged for Chris to have a guest badge to the con. According to Silverman himself, he knew Chris would [[Financhu Crisis|accept his free offer, regardless of the GoFundMe outcome]].<ref name="silver">https://kiwifarms.net/threads/justin-silvermans-account-of-chris-at-toomanygames.44842</ref> Silverman's invitation is as follows:

<center><gallery>
File:Silverman offers guest badge to CWC 1.png
File:Silverman offers guest badge to CWC 2.png
</gallery></center>

Despite proposing otherwise in his email, Justin did not authorize Chris to host a booth or a panel slot.<ref name="silver"/> The 12:30 PM Sunday panel mentioned was likely the ''Exploring Cringe Culture'' panel, hosted by jab50yen, whom Chris would [[MAGfest#The_Aftermath|reunite]] with at the con nonetheless.<ref>[https://toomanygames.com/schedule TooManyGames 2018 schedule (as of July 2018)]/</ref>

While at the con, Chris met many of his fans and posed for photo ops. He offered autographs for sale, against con rules as he had no credentials to sell there. He also watched panels and played games, including ''[[HEXBox|Halo]]''.

===Bowser vs Robotnik panel===
On Day 2, Chris attended ''Bowser vs Robotnik'' — a panel hosted by [[Wikipedia:Mike Pollock (voice actor)|Mike Pollock]] and Kenny James (the voice actors of [[Doctor Robotnik]] and Bowser, respectively). Based on the video's introduction, it suggests that the hosts allowed members of the audience to roast them. Given [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Chris' history]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog|with the]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic franchise]], Chris took the opportunity to interact with Pollock, as well as to plug his [[Sonichu (comic)|own franchise]]. Chris [[Chris and oration|stated]] that Eggman should return to using his original Robotnik name, as the reverse of his current name sounds like "''Nah, I'm [[Homos|gay]]''". Throughout the question and answer session, the audience can be heard laughing nervously, groaning, and even cringing in response to Chris's diatribe and slightly homophobic joke, but Pollock managed to make the most of the situation with an improvised Shakespeare quote that got applause from the audience. Chris mistook this as applause for himself and took a bow before returning to his seat.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan making an ass of himself at Too Many Games VA Panel -- 6-23-18
| ytid = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlHd8lRphKk
| stardate = 23 [[June 2018]]
| subject = {{Convention|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| previous = [[I_need_some_local_C64_Tech_Help,_Please#Video_2|Still need Local help with my C64, Please]]
| next = [[TooManyGames#Chris's reaction to Pollock's response|Chris's reaction to Pollock's response]]
}}

[[File:Sonichunamgge.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Chris' question warranted an in-universe drawing.]]

'''Chris''': Aha! Oh… Mike, you’re gonna make a dream of mine come true ‘cause I’ve enjoyed every scene where Sonic got to insult Eggman, and I’ve got one that I came up with recently. And I just want Eggman’s reaction by the way.

[''Chris holds up a copy of [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]] to Pollock'']

Ah, [[Chris Chan Sonichu|my Sonichu]]. In case you don’t know. I’m creator of the [[Sonichu (character)|original yellow]] but I transform to this one. And I’m encountering Eggman, and Bowser [''Chris gestures to Kenny James on stage''] can laugh if he wants to, if he likes it!

So… Eggman. Let’s talk for a moment. You like wordplay? All right!

[''Chris laughs'']

So, I’ve got a good reason for you to go back... to-uh calling yourself Robotnik. ‘Cause spelled word backwards? You say Eggman? That's saying... "''Nah-I'm gay''". You split it up a little bit further, it sounds like "''NAH''! ''GAY''!" And at least ''Kintobor'' sounds more sophisticated than that! So what do you have to say for you now-say for yourself now, ''Namgge''?

'''Mike Pollock''': [[BILLY MAYS|WELL, I BELIEVE WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE SAID IT BEST WHEN HE SAID]]... “WHAT'S IN A NAME? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

'''Chris''': [''creepy laugh'']

[''The audience laughs and applauds as [[Chris and his Ego|Chris takes a bow]]'']

===Chris's reaction to Pollock's response===

{{Infobox/video
| name = A happening at toomanygames 2018 [ Chris Chan vs. Mike Pollock Mental Meat Deathmatch ]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IquJTY1HMic}}
| stardate = 23 [[June 2018]]
| subject = {{Convention|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| previous = [[TooManyGames#Bowser vs Robotnik panel|Chris making an ass of himself]]
| next = [[TooManyGames#Kissing fans|Kissing fans]]
}}

Previously [[Homos#Chris_the_lesbian|identifying as a lesbian]] just [[2017|the year before]], Chris' ''Namgge'' roast—using homosexuality as an insult—harks back to the early years of the internet's discovery of him, when weens accused him of being gay to get a [[I am STRAIGHT|rise out of him]]. Seemingly, Chris never gave a second thought that his [[Chris's education#Providence Middle School|middle school tier]] roast could be labelled inappropriate by the [[SLGBTQ|LGBT community]] he belongs to.

Satisfied of his witty statement, Chris took to the paper and drew an in-universe representation, featuring Chris Chan Sonichu, Robotnik and Bowser.

===Kissing fans===
{{quote|[Chris was kissing people because] a certain person was telling him behind the scenes that it was a good idea.|[[Guard Dog]] [[The Captain]] implying that an [[Idea Guy]] had [[manipulated]] Chris.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/6-22-chris-at-too-many-games-convention.44691/post-3493314</ref>}}

Chris posed with many fans for photos, as he had done at [[BronyCon]] and [[MAGfest]]. However, this time, after the [[Idea Guys]] had manipulated Chris into thinking of himself as [[bisexual]] and Chris began a habit of kissing men on the cheek (as he did to [[Copitz]] and his friend), Chris thought it would be fine to kiss attendees on the cheek after posing with them.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan Kisses A Fan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMbmlFqLG98}}
| stardate = 22 [[June 2018]]
| subject = {{Convention|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[TooManyGames#Chris's reaction to Pollock's response|Chris's reaction to Pollock's response]]
| next = [[TooManyGames#Video 1|Chris chan melt down]]
}}

He thought wrong.

==Kicked out==
{{quote|Ok so long story short, Chris Chan was kissing and getting too intimate with con attendees without their consent. Staff gave her multiple warnings to stop and she didn't listen. She was 100% in the wrong and she deserves to be removed from the convention as she broke the rules.|jab50yen explains the situation<ref name=jab>https://twitter.com/jab50yen/status/1010620667337768966</ref>}}

On Day 2, as a result of being handsy with and kissing attendees,<ref>https://tweetsave.com/carbonroller813/status/1010568665736114176</ref> Chris was kicked out of the convention.<ref>https://twitter.com/jab50yen/status/1010620667337768966</ref><ref name=jab></ref><ref>https://twitter.com/KhanyeyTheGamer/status/1010596722370805760</ref> He reacted by having a meltdown in the venue, curling up on the floor in the fetal position.<ref>https://twitter.com/sungay_best/status/1010588470899892226?s=21</ref> Security was brought in to escort Chris out. jab50yen helped comfort Chris alongside the mother of an autistic child who was attending the event.

===Video 1===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris chan melt down at #TooManyGames lmao
| video = {{#ev:youtube|xBWPQUB5tUk}}
| stardate = 23 [[June 2018]]
| subject = {{Convention|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| previous = [[TooManyGames#Kissing fans|Kissing fans]]
| next = [[TooManyGames#Video 2|Chris chan melt down]]
}}

===Video 2===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris chan melt down at #TooManyGames lmao
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ELKlzK127vs}}
| stardate = 23 [[June 2018]]
| subject = {{Convention|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| previous = [[TooManyGames#Video 1|Chris chan melt down]]
| next = [[My Mother WORKED Hard, Spent Hard; Needs Money NOW.#Video|My Mother WORKED Hard, Spent Hard; Needs Money NOW]]
}}

There is no evidence that Chris [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soiled himself]] during the incident.

===Chris's thoughts===
[[File:Chris_Chan_Rolling_Away_From_Responsibility.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction of Chris Chan rolling away from responsibility at high speed.]]

{{quote|I just made Collegeville Bakery 20% Cooler with my presence. TMG’s LOSS; Their Gain! I also suggested a new pizza, The Sonichu Zap!|Chris's tweet after being thrown out<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1010629975366668288</ref>}}

Several hours later, Chris tweeted, claiming that con staff had not given him a verbal warning before kicking him out.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1010696757053935616</ref>

{{quotebox|Apologies to the #TooManyGames convention goers and especially @jab50yen.

I didn't notice I had received a warning to stop making physical contact with people taking pictures with me until after I had been asked to leave. They only sent the warning to me over Facebook Messenger.}}

The Facebook warning was:

{{quoteboxwhite|Don't kiss anyone. Someone complained. Anymore problems and we'll have to pull your badge. Cool?<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/posts/3494484/</ref>}}

On the other hand, according to jab50yen, who is close friends with staff, they said [[Chris and reality|they had given Chris face-to-face warnings]].<ref>https://tweetsave.com/jab50yen/status/1010700307406491648</ref>

The next day, Chris backtracked, trying to justify his actions and showing he learned nothing:

{{quotebox|One Question: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD? [[Ego|A peck on the cheek from a Celebrity that One Likes, Positively Mind You, Is NOT OFFENSIVE To Me.]] What Really Ticks Me Off is that ANY Displays of Likes and Affection is VIEWED AS TABOO AND MORE OFFENSIVE Than BLOODY, GOREY VIOLENCE.

And HOW do I Feel after all of the LOVE and POSITIVITY I had been finding and giving back and sharing around, it all turned around against me in One Felt Swoop? I Feel Emotionally Hungover and like a load of crap. 😔😣😭😭😭<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1010853615639171073</ref>

I am going to Tell ALL OF YOU Hater Trolls Something, RIGHT NOW! I WILL Remain Optimistic and Open-Hearted, and I am NOT Going to FAIL! I have the LOVE of my REAL Positive and Kind People and Fans, and I have the LOVE of my Partners: Magi-Chan, Cryzel, Sylvana and Mewtwo, Here!

They are Right Here with me, and they Directly, Offline, Communicate With Me Always. And More Importantly, I Love Them All, and They Love Me Truly. This Is Real. ⚡️❤️💜💙❤️💜⚡️<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1010855572529467392</ref>}}

In [[December 2019]], Chris compared the ban incident to his December 2019 temper tantrum about [[ProjectSNT]]'s redesign of his characters, saying "there is something deeper than [the redesigns] that just sets off my subconscious WORSE than that moment at @TooManyGames where I went hedgehog. WORSE THAN THAT.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1204536104235520003</ref>"

In [[June 2021]], a whole 3 years since the initial convention, Chris claimed on [[Twitter]] that the incident was supposedly a trap set up by the [[trolls]] and convention staff members.

{{quotebox|I did make the mistake of expressing my appreciation too far at the time; I have learned from that. BUT, again, I know very well that I was constantly being observed by the Trolls and haters, and they, at the time, were looking for Anything to pin me down for. Also, Major Observation I still remember very well, the host of the convention messaged me through freaking @Facebook; soo Indirect, especially when he could have had an easier, more direct, communication by TEXTING me, or better yet, pull me over, personally, and warn me, but you know what?

He Did NOT do that at all. I had no Proper Warning or notification that this was wrong. I psychically Know he was in with the haters at the time, and so he half-assed the “warning”, adding that detail to the Set Up against me.<ref>[[June 2021 social media posts#Chris blames the TooManyGames incident on the trolls again]]</ref>}}

===Personal space talk===
{{quote|I need not be reminded of the worst part, but my [[Chris_and_stress#Hedgehog-defensive_state|hedgehog-defensive state]] and all of the tears and leaking mucus and whole body paralysis that happened to me then and there will haunt me in reminder of that.}}

[[Kiwi Farms#Null|Joshua Moon]] posted a conversation he had with Chris about the incident,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-talk.44787/</ref> in which he warned Chris about the possible ramifications of his behavior. Notably, the moment he exceeded the [[CWC-isms#H|hurtful truth level]], Chris reacted by drifting off into his [[CWCville|imaginary land]], posting a lengthy diatribe about [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddesses]] (which is translated [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-talk.44787/page-2#post-3500758 here]).

Josh:
{{quoteboxgreen|Did you remember to ship those items from Mercari people bought}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|Good Afternoon, Josh. I will be shipping out the three photographs today. I need to get three bubble envelopes.

Have you heard back from the people at BronyCon about upgrading my weekend pass on the complimentary?

I feel better, but getting up was rough.}}

Josh:
{{quoteboxgreen|I've not heard back from BronyCon.

Though you need to be aware that what happened at TooManyGames might get you banned from BronyCon preemptively. If it happens again you might end up on a global con blacklist, stopping you from going to any con ever again.

The touchy feely stuff is very serious and if it happens to the wrong person getting banned from a con is the least of your concern. They might press sexual assault charges which is sometimes years in prison.}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|I am more aware of that now. My lips are kept to myself.

Hey. I am feeling better, yet still recovering. I want to let you know about something, I was sent to TMG to learn more about the possible return of Tari and Rei Ryghts being up to something with the Atari VCU. The CPUs' suspicions were correct from what we were able to get from what I learned during my time there. Amy Rose stayed the remainder of the convention to attend the remaining events and listen on the talk and gossip. We need to make the presence of the Nation of Comma, and the CPU of the Commodore Consoles, Scarlet, spread far and wide everywhere. Her Memories HAVE been bestowed to someone in this world of ours;

Scarlet is Kind and Compassionate; she is the counter to Rei Ryghts, should and when Rei attempt something to resurrect her lost Nation.

Scarlet Will help us against Rei Ryghts. Remember to share some prayers with the CPUs. Also, tell everyone to give their Full Support to Commodore on their Next Console, which will be named the Commodore CW. Let Commodore know that the console SHOULD have a Serial Port for the Floppy Driveand Printer, a port for the Cassette Drive, a Cartridge Port for their old Cartridges, as well as a Blu-Ray Drive for all media discs. As well as an HDMI Output AND Input, and a Component Output. Their old Cartridges, as well as a Blu-Ray Drive for all media discs. As well as an HDMI Output AND Input, and a Component Output. Their controller should be reminiscent of the Commodore Logo in shape, with pattern of the typical controller, I like the Xbox controller scheme the “C” half facing outward from the player, following the controller for it, and it should be wireless with the USB cable port. And a USB input and output ports for media input and backup, and even hooking up to a PC or Laptop for using either as a monitor. The console should take the shape and form of the Classic Keyboard Console, Complete with the Keyboard. Online functions, downloadable games, and plenty Independent game Titles for the CCW. And the media of their new games should be Physical And Downloadable; I really like using the Cartridges for their games. And the price should be less than $400 on the finished console product. And they should take their time in fully developing, designing, assembling, testing and getting all the bugs out before making it available for sale.

Versus the Atari VCU, the Commodore CW Should be a Greater Success! Please, help me spread the word to the current people of Commodore in this world.

We need LOTS of this world's people to voice all of this to Commodore.}}

Josh:
{{quoteboxgreen|It's not just kissing. Someone claims, I don't know if it's true, but someone claims you squeezed their butt as well. That kind of thing, even the rumor, puts you at risk of being banned from BronyCon and all other cons in advance. I can't help you if that happens. It also scares away people who buy stuff from you. No one will buy medallions or drawings if they think you don't respect personal space.

Just keep it in mind. This is something I can't magic away and is way, way more serious than trespassing or bumping Snyder.}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|Good Morning, Josh. I assure you that I never squeezed or even touched anyone's butt at all.

And I do understand all that. Believe me, and I need not be reminded of the worst part, but my [[Chris_and_stress#Hedgehog-defensive_state|hedgehog-defensive state]] and all of the tears and leaking mucus and whole body paralysis that happened to me then and there will haunt me in reminder of that.}}

Josh:
{{quoteboxgreen|Alright. Just be careful in the future and if it's anything other than putting a hand on the waist ask first. People will forgive and forget if the next con goes well.
Hopefully BronyCon still lets you go.}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|No problem.
I am positive it will still be good.}}

===Justin Silverman's account===
On 27 June, event coordinator Justin Silverman consulted with a [[User:Rossticus|CWCki editor]] to clarify his role in bringing Chris to TooManyGames, and give his side of the story regarding whether staff had warned Chris before kicking him out. To authenticate his claims, he attached unseen photographs of Chris' meltdown:<ref name="silver"/>

{{quoteboxred|Wanted to change something and didn't want to register or whatever.

On the TooManyGames page, I'm brought up. But, it's referenced by a Kiwi Farms thread. Figured I'd give you first hand info.

...and so you know I'm real...

[[File:TooManyGamesJustinphoto.jpg|150px]]

It says... "A supervisor for TooManyGames, likely Justin Silverman of Silvermania, arranged for Chris to have a booth at the con for selling his autographs[4]."

But, in fact, there was no booth promised or given... no panel, timed meet up, or sanctioned anything. Just a badge.

I gave her a badge because she was coming anyways, I knew the GoFundMe would go through... figured if I messaged her about a free anything, she would respond. That way, I'd be in close contact. I could meet and talk to her directly, warn her face to face. I did.

She then screwed up, many times, and my security team had to step in. We tried doing this in private, but she froze up then hit the floor. EMTs tried to help with no luck. Thankfully Jab and a sympathetic mother of an autistic child were there, they defused the situation. Mind you, hundreds of people were stuck in the traffic. Police en route. Almost got ugly... only telling you this because I don't want anyone to think we condoned this or whatever. I figured she be a problem, but wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt... since Magfest was fine 6 months ago. Live and learn. Post whatever you want, or nothing. It's blown over now anyway. Thanks for what you do.

[[File:TooManyGamesJustinphoto2.jpg|150px]]

It was actually really sad in real life... like, I get it's a big joke online, and people hate her guts and like to troll... but, this person, in their autistic shell, on our carpet... was truly upsetting. I wish she got the help she needs. But, we've cut ties completely. Anyway, thanks.}}

Two days later, having discovered the [[Kiwi Farms]] post of Justin's admission, Chris completely severed their social media ties and responded:<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1012799560433983488</ref>

{{quotebox|Hey, Cowardly Jerk, @JustySilverman

"I warned her face to face"; NO, You Did Not! You cowered behind Facebook during a time I was VERY UNLIKELY to even look at my phone, AND I did have it on silent. You’re lucky I have such a big heart and kindness, otherwise I’d do worse now.}}

Silverman replied:<ref>https://twitter.com/JustySilverman/status/1012803789018009604</ref>

{{quoteboxred|"Cowardly Jerk" Justin Silverman here. I warned you when you FIRST came in. You agreed to what I said, staff said you were warned as well. Sorry I had to FB message you, couldn't find you among the 15k attendees. Also, you tweet this seconds after liking half my posts on FB????}}

Chris:
{{quotebox|My liking your recent posts are separate from what happened last Saturday. And you warned me Not to use my bat against anyone; you did not say “Don’t Kiss Anyone” to me right there. You should have found me around that 11:00 am time, borrowed me for a moment, and told me then.

Instead, your warning was through Facebook Messenger during the time I was Very Unable to look at my phone. You should have done your job and better. [[Scale of Respect|The grade I give you for how you did, I would have to give you Two out of Five; Under Mediocre.]]

You think about that, dude. YOU HAD your chance to to your job right, and you Epic Failed. Peace.}}

Twenty minutes later, Chris had an abrupt shift in his tone:<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1012810224690921472</ref>

{{quotebox|By the way, everyone, I Do accept that I, in fact, kissed a lot fans who hugged me, on their face cheeks. I was opening myself more to everyone; I really had no idea that was a bad thing to a lot of individuals. And for offending those with my kisses, I am really sorry, and from now on, I promise to keep my lips to myself from now on, unless the other person requests a kiss on the face cheek from me, period. Please, forgive and forget that, and let us all move forward in our lives. I Have Learned the Lesson all too well. And thanks to @JustySilverman , that lesson will Not be forgotten anytime soon or later. Thank You All.}}

=== jab50yen's post-incest confession ===
On 3 August 2021, following the fallout of Chris' arrest for [[incest]], jab50yen released an unreleased photo of Chris at the convention after he was being told he was to be removed, also revealing the name of the woman who comforted him to be '''Linda''', and releasing several text messages between him and Chris, also posting to Twitter about the events.

{{quotebox|Eh fuck it, wanna make a thread about this now. For those who don't remember, I was the guy at TMG 2018 that helped get Chris Chan escorted out of the place to avoid her getting arrested. Here's a picture of us in an unused room dealing with the police that I never posted.
[[File:Chris and Linda.jpg|100px]]

I originally never wanted to post that cause I didn't want chris to get further harassed online and I was getting overwhelmed myself. However after what she did recently, I don't have anymore sympathy. So I wanna talk about what happened cause in hindsight it was pretty funny.

The woman above chris in the first photo was a nice lady, Linda, who was at TMG with her autistic son. She helped console Chris and Chris trusted her. Everyone thought I was covering my nose in this photo, but I was actually rubbing my lips thinking. Chris' hygeine was fine lmao.

Linda convinced the police to not arrest Chris as this woman was the only person Chris finally responded to. Chris seems to only have an attachment towards woman, specifically motherly ones. Quickly, Chris agreed to get up and we left. I had to carry the sonichu standee.

When we made it to the empty room, it was Chris, me, Linda, Justin from TMG staff, and 4 Pennsylvania cops. We all surrounded chris who decided to lay on the floor again. Linda continued to comfort chris and asked her questions related to what she does for a living.}}

Notably, the convention occurred during the [[June 2018|same month]] Chris started [[CPU Blue Heart#The Awakening of a CPU|identifying]] as [[CPU Blue Heart]], as shown in their correspondence:
{{quotebox|This led chris to explaining the lore of sonichu and a new(?) Saga in it. I'm not sure if chris eventually talked about it online since I stopped paying as much attention, but just in case here's her repeating everything she said to Linda in that room.
[[File:Jab50yenCorrespondence1.jpg|100px]][[File:Jab50yenCorrespondence2.jpg|100px]] [[File:Jab50yenCorrespondence3.jpg|100px]][[File:Jab50yenCorrespondence4.jpg|100px]]

Eventually in the middle of this rant chris went on, one of the police officers looked at me and motioned "come over here" with his fingers and had me step outside with him At this point I thought "of fuck I have to explain sonichu to a cop".

So we went out to the hallway and this cop was like "alright I need you to explain what this person is talking about cause you seem to be close with them and know a lot about them" So I spent 5 minutes explaining what sonichu was as he stared at the sonichu standee.

After explaining the lore the cop said "so chris put two characters together and made a comic out of it? And a bunch of people here are fans of it?" I bit my teeth and said "I...guess 'fan' is one way to put it. She's infamous, that's why we need her out of the public eye rn".

The cop got defensive and said "look I don't need you telling me how to do my job, I'll figure out what's best to do" I walked towards him and said "you DON'T understand sir, if you make this ugly it will IMMEDIATELY all go online and cause a huge commotion outside".

At first he was like "who cares about the internet?" Which then led me to show him the cwcki and how a lot of the photos from 20 minutes ago at the time were already all documented. Eventually I scared him enough to not escort her to the station and helped chris leave the con.

Me, Chris, Linda and that cop helped bring Chris' stuff to her car and Chris left. After all that me and Linda gave each other a big long hug congratulating each other for diffusing the situation. Idk where she is these days but I hope she and her son are doing well.

After the cop left me and Linda joked about how badass we were that we convinced a bunch of cops to handle things our way. (As a POC that's pretty epic) When I went back to the con I immediately ran towards the staff/vip room and gossiped with staff about it all.

Charles Martinet walked in shortly after and was talking about how Chris grabbed his arm at his signing booth. So it sounds like Chris was doing more than kissing/groping fans. We then had to explain to him who Chris was which is still bizarre to think that was how I met Charles.

Finally, I made this thread and left it at that. Joshua aka Null and other Kiwi Farms people were quick to accuse me of only doing this for attention, but I denied all interviews and questions while this was still hot. I did this cause I felt chris needed a friend.

I met Chris at MAGFest 2018 and could somehow feel the pain and dread through her face. So I decided to support her. Happy to admit I was wrong. Especially now. I learned the hard way that she does this to herself a lot after she doubled down on the TMG incident.

I still think the internet overstayed their welcome on stalking chris and I hope this recent incident puts "Christory" to an end And yes I say "her", Chris is a trans women. Everyone has rights. Trans rights are human rights. Her gender is irrelevant to this, stop making it so.

That being said, I know this thread is only contributing to the discussion I want to end But until now I kept it to myself as a multi-year long battle against everyone who wanted me to spill the tea. I was upset at how everyone handled it, but I no longer have a reason to be.

So I suppose I'm making this thread to finally wash my hands clear of it, as my lowkey goal to still help chris out of this rut, redeem herself and help her gain some humanity is now out the window. At least I know I tried. And it was by far the craziest weekend of my life lol.<ref>https://twitter.com/jab50yen/status/1422204336017317889</ref>}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:CWC and Justin Silverman Too Many Games.jpg|Chris with event coordinator Justin Silverman of Silvermania. Captioned "This guy hooked me up! 😃❤"
File:CWC and jab50yen Too Many Games.jpg|Chris and jab50yen
File:CWC and FourScore64 Too Many Games.jpg|Chris with FourScore64, who tweeted that Chris kissed him on the cheek.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/fourscore64/status/1010316775504965632</ref>
File:SonChu at Too Many Games.jpg|A fan poses next to [[Son-Chu]], which Chris poorly parked in a handicapped zone.
File:CWC and cryptidkitten Too Many Games.jpg
File:CWC playing Halo at Too Many Games.JPG|Playing Halo‎ 2
File:CWC watching panel TooManyGames.jpg|Watching a panel.
File:CWC and Blario17 Too Many Games.jpg ‎
File:CWC and pelikuni Too Many Games 1.jpg ‎
File:CWC and pelikuni Too Many Games 2.jpg ‎
File:Terenceandchris.jpg
File:CWC Day 2 Too Many Games.jpg|On Day 2, apparently before being kicked out.
File:TMGMeltdown.jpg|Photos of the meltdown
File:TMGMeltdown2.jpg
File:TMG_COPS.jpeg|The cops outside the convention.
</gallery></center>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I need some local C64 Tech Help, Please]]|nextlink=[[My Mother WORKED Hard, Spent Hard; Needs Money NOW]]}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Places}}

To Mr. Smith

2021-09-14T00:36:01Z

Resrsc: archive

[[File:Mrsmithangryeyessonichu.jpg|left|thumb|The "Angry eyes" Sonichu in question.]]
[[File:Chris's_Commission_to_Mr._Smith_(compressed).jpg|right|thumb|Chris's passive-aggressive commission to Mr. Smith.]]
'''To Mr. Smith''' is a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] by [[Chris]] on [[October 2014|26 October 2014]]. Chris apologizes to an [[eBay]] buyer, [[Medallions#The Mr. Smith Situation|Mr. Smith]], with whom he was having a dispute over the sale of a [[medallion]]. After Mr. Smith had filed an eBay claim against Chris, Chris had revealed Mr. Smith's personal information on [[Facebook]]. Chris apologized, but in a demonstration of his typical lack of [[Chris and remorse|remorse]], he sent Mr. Smith an "angry" Sonichu medallion instead of a regular one. After more vitriolic communication, Chris agreed to send a normal medallion as well as a [[commissions|commission]]. While the commission was intended by Mr. Smith to simply portray him with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], Chris turned it into a mockery, with a bucket of ice about to fall on Mr. Smith's head. At that point, Mr. Smith demanded that Chris make this video.

This is the second video taken in the [[Rental House]] that Chris and [[Barb]] lived in after [[10 January 2014]]. Chris's eerie, puke-green [[Chris and cinematography|camerawork]] is still apparent, as in his [[I Love You, Catherine|previous video]] that month. Chris has again chosen to play some godawful orchestrated music that sounds like it belongs in the sappy love scene of a [[I Love Lucy|1950s sitcom]]. It's possible that this strange choice of soundtrack was added in an attempt to indicate sincerity, since he is generally [[Autism|unable to show legitimate emotion]] in a convincing way. The sloppy editing, disgusting appearance, lack of post-production, inconsistent message, and overall low quality of the video show that Chris has made this [[I'm Sorry, Dude|forced apology]] in the laziest possible manner.

This video was taken down soon after upload, but [[troll|fan]] [[CWCville Library|archivists]] preserved it. The cinematography, combined with the old music and the somber tone, have drawn comparisons to the content of the album ''{{w|Everywhere at the End of Time}}'', which is about [[Barbara Chandler|dementia]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = To Mr. Smith
| ytid = AR9dxuFGzw8
| stardate = 26 [[October 2014]]
| subject = {{Website|[[eBay]]}}, {{Other|Mr. Smith}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Selling Out|text}}, {{Catherine|text}}, {{Sonic Boom|text}}
| previous = [[I Love You, Catherine]]
| next = [[Brushfire Video]]
}}
{{quote|I'm hurting. It hurts. Errything hurts. A lot hurts.}}

==Transcript==

[''"A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" plays in the background.'']

To Mr. Smith, I'm very sorry about...sending you the medallion with the...[''rubs his eye''] angry face. And...I should just treat you like the other customers and give you the original face in the first place. [''[[sigh]]'']

Well, you did get that, a, th-, the second one and I apologize for...drawin' with the want of droppin' a bucket of ice on your head...because you...sent my [[Chris and money|finances]] down the drain there...like a [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|sinking ship]]. Anyway, I'm very sorry. [''sigh'']

[[Stress|I'm hurting]]. It hurts. [[Chris and health|Errything hurts]]. A lot hurts. [[Video games|Goddamn]] [[Monthly tugboat|stressful]] [[Toys|life]]! [''groans and sighs again'']

Me.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I Love You, Catherine]]|nextlink=[[Brushfire Video]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:EBay]]

To Cole Smithey, from Barb, and Sonichu (Prime)

2021-09-14T00:36:00Z

Resrsc: archive

{{SonichuPossession}}

'''To Cole Smithey, from Barb, and Sonichu (Prime)''' is a video Chris uploaded on 30 [[September 2020]]. It features an address by [[Barbara]] to [[Cole Smithey]], after Cole apparently sent Barb flowers for her 79th birthday. (Of course, it's probable that this was a [[ween]] sending flowers in Cole's name.) Chris temporarily forgets that he's [[Spirit possession|possessed by]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], but makes a quick course-correction before rambling to Cole about the [[Dimensional Merge]], and the apparent closeness of various superheroes to Cole. (This reflects his early posts about [[C-197]], which is populated by "EVERYONE who is “Fictional”... like Iron Man and the Avengers in New York.")<ref>[[October 2019 social media posts]]</ref>

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = To Cole Smithey, from Barb, and Sonichu (Prime)
| ytid = Ulk2dLCUc-Q
| stardate = 30 [[September 2020]]
| subject = {{Other}} [[Cole Smithey]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = A Sonichu and Rosechu Valentine
| saga =
| other =
| previous = [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_4.2C_plus_a_few_thoughts.|Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 4, plus a few thoughts.]]
| next = [[Red_vs_Blue_Reaction_Livestreams#Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_5_Reaction.2B|Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 5 Reaction+]]
}}

===Description===
Feel free to text me, Cole. I’ll be here with Mama’s phone.

===Transcript===
[''The video opens on Barb holding the bouquet of flowers. Music can be heard in the background'']

'''Barb:''' Hi, Cole. Thanks for the flowers. They're beautiful. That was very sweet of you. I'm–I remember... all the, uh, cards and letters, that you mail me, when you were in college. I still have 'em, and I still r–read 'em. It's so nice... the–to be reminded, of your love... and support. Thank you very much. I love you.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Very nice. Very nice.

[''Chris moves the camera to face himself as he gets up and moves back into his room'']

Hey Cole! Got a little message for you myself! Brother, [[Spirit possession#Sonichu|this is actually]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], yeah, the one and only prime of the Sonichu species from our sister dimension that literally right next to you–Hey! You've been hanging out next to {{w|Iron Man}}, literally. You've been hanging out with Iron Man and {{w|Avengers (comics)|the Avengers}} and some of the DC heroes and EVERYBODY. But aside from that, I gotta tell you Cole, all the stuff you pulled against Barb, over these years, and I've hear–I've heard about it through [[Spirit possession#"Mama"|Mama's]] memory 'cause I not only swapped bodies wit–with... Mama–wi... Christine, like what, literally six months ago today, and... I just have so many, of my own shares of... things and whatnot that I can salways speak to yo–speak to you on her behalf, got my own problems here... [''1:28 is unintelligible''], yadda yadda yadda yadda and so forth [''1:30 is unintelligible''].

[''[[Stress sigh|sigh]]'']... I don't have a script! I'm not going on script, but, Cole! I'll give you this props: at least you came through on doing this nice thing for Barb in her later years, right before we're actually going on with the [[Dimensional Merge]], where you will literally be able to meet... Iron Man, but also, just the drive over t–just to drive over to Jersey and literally meet Batman, so... Have fun knowing that, Joseph Cole Smithey! And, uh... shoot... Sussana?[''?''] That's still a thing? And you know what, I'm gonna do what Mama did, like, you know like ''hey''... [[Message for John Kyle|Whoop-de-doo for him]]... 'cause... she did that, and I just... doin– felt like I wanted to do the–hey, you got married without inviting her and Barb, so there's that. Although I will say one thing on behalf of Mama, you were right about Barb on a number of things, and Mama was mistaken. Mama was mistaken, so... there's that. She's learned. Mama–Barbara yelled at Mama, so there's that, let you know about that. But that's a whole 'nother kale of fish. If you feel like you want to talk about this per–personally with–personally, feel free to call or text at, uh, pretty much the phone number that's been popularized all over the innernet.

All right. Anyway, all the way here in, Ruckersville, Virginia, in this Dimension 1218, originating from C-197, thanks Cole! Have a good day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_4.2C_plus_a_few_thoughts.|Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 4, plus a few thoughts.]]|nextlink=[[Red_vs_Blue_Reaction_Livestreams#Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_5_Reaction.2B|Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 5 Reaction+]]}}
==References==
<references/>
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2020]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

To Clyde and Jack

2021-09-14T00:35:59Z

Resrsc: archive

'''To Clyde and Jack''' (originally posted as '''To Clyde and Jack.MOV''') is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 27 [[December 2009]]. Chris tells both [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]] to [[Chris and anger|commit suicide and burn in hell]]. Chris continues to be butt-hurt over [[homos]]exuals, telling Jack and Clyde that they are hurting the cause of gay rights and claiming [[List of Chris's lies|he has "Gay Friends"]]. Then he reminds us to [[Chris and hypocrisy#"I fear them all" — Homosexuality|stay straight]].

Chris spends much of this video scratching himself with alarming frequency, pausing at least 12 times to scratch, adjust his collar, hitch up his pants, or otherwise address some source of discomfort. The [[Chris and health#Hygiene|cause]] remains unknown, but it should be noted that Chris has worn the same [[Chris and fashion|long-sleeved polo shirt]] now for four days straight.

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = To Clyde and Jack
| ytid = eXUm5tiHmyU
| Stardate = 27 December 2009
| subject = {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{YellowRedStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Download For Play Only]]
| next = [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp]]
}}
{{quote|You're not putting any of those people in bright light! If anything, you're making the light of homosexuality so much God-damn worse!}}

=== Transcript ===
Uhh, this is not a [[Chris and reality|canon]] [[Captain's Log]], but I have a statement that I feel like I need to make. Both... [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]]. This message goes to them!

You both think you're so tough. You both think you're so righteous because you're trying to overthrow [[Chris|somebody who hates homosexuals]]. You know what? I'm okay with associating with homosexuals, but I—not be—but the—not beyond f-friendship. I'll-I'll be willing to be friends with homosexuals, I even have a [[gal pal]] [[Anna McLerran|who's a lesbian]]. As a—and she's a good friend, as well! But I'm just saying [''gestures wildly''] nothing further with the male homosexuals!

And as long as they keep it behind their closed doors, I don't give a damn.

And both of you, Jack and Clyde. Both of y'all want me to like homosexuals more, a little bit, but you—both of you—you're not—put'n, the aspect of anybody, within that—within that lifes-w-w-wh—who's living that lifesty—who's living that lifestyle. You're not putting any of those people in bright light! If anything, you're making the light of homosexuality so much God-damn worse! You both are definitely '''evil seeds that just need to be put into hell'''!

So not only would you be would both you Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus, be doin' me a favor, but you'd be doing your whole God-dang homosexuality community a favor, by '''committing suicide, killing yourselves and rotting in hell'''!

And [[Vivian]], I'm [[Chris and remorse|sorry]] about saying that about your cousin, but that's just the way I feel! [[Death threats#Vivian Gee|I got nothing against you Vivian]].

[''brief pause wherein Chris scratches himself and sighs'']

Anyway, that's the way I feel. Both of you two can just go rot in hell, for all I care. And for the whole world who care—and for whole world s—s—cares.

Also I just want to remind everybody that, uh, [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|the revised version of the text]] that's on that God-dang [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page is up on the [[CWCipedia]]. You find a link to it under the portal on the CWCipedia. That's all I will say about that.

So that's just my point—that's just all those-p-all my views, and how—what's actually true and false, and exaggerated, from within tha—all that text. Right.

[''raises hands, closes eyes''] Okay, well, to most everyone, [''sigh''] stay straight and not being swayed any other direction. That's me. Alright. [''flashes peace sign''] Have a good day, most of you. And Jack and Cl-Clyde, yeah, [[Chris and religion|suicide, death, rot in hell]].

==Remixed==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = three point plan for living
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Pyau0NoVyYg}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays '''TheGreggMays''']
| subject = [[Chris]]
| type = Remix
| info = SUICIDE. DEATH. ROT IN HELL.
}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Download For Play Only]]|nextlink=[[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP]]|}}

{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, December 2009| 2009-12-27]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-12-27]]
[[Category:CWCipedia Saga videos| 2009-12-27]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2009-12-27]]

ToJackie

2021-09-14T00:35:58Z

Resrsc: archive

'''ToJackie''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris begs [[Jackie]] not to leave him, insisting that she matters more than [[video games]], that he can [[Random access humor|make her laugh]], and that no other [[Sex toys|non-living]] [[PS3|object]] can replace her. It should be noted that the alleged "bible" he swears upon is so close to the camera that you can't tell whether or not it is a [[Chris and Religion|bible]] at all.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = ToJackie
| ytid = Jwql9W-Vcfk
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Galpals|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|Grey T-shirt}}
| previous = [[Ghostbusters (video)|Ghostbusters]]
| next = [[100 2278]]
}}

{{quote|No video game, no high score or no dang console is going to go over you, because I love you so much more. You can return the feelings and emotions. No dang— non-living object can ever do that. I swear. }}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:I want you Jackie.jpg|thumb|right|200px|How can you say no to that [[stare]]?]]

''[Chris performs a dramatic glasses removal.]''

Listen. Jackie? I gotta— I gotta tell it to you straight. I mean, yeah. I have been doing these videos and everything FOR YOU. I put— I've given you so much time and energy. I want you to know that… it is all good. I am being honest with you. I have been honest with you. Sometimes, I have misspoke. But you are more important to me than ANYTHING. Believe me! I swear. [[Chris and religion|Hand to God. And on my Bible]]. I'd have to go look for it.

''[Chris turns around, looking for his Bible.]''

It's right over— here it is.

''[Chris picks up and places his hand on his "Bible".]''

Yeah, look. Hand on my Bible. I swear to God. I love you more than any— more than anything, Jackie. I love you more than anything.

''[Chris puts the object down.]''

And, plus, I'll be able to make you laugh. Make you more happy. Make you smile a lot more, after we meet— after we get together. I mean—

''[Chris turns around, shoves fake breasts up his shirt, and turns around again.]''

Hey, look. This is fun.

''[Chris imitates his [[WelcometoBollywood|belly dancing]].]''

We can feel each other up, ya know?

''[Chris bends over to show his breasts.]''

Hey, look. How do you like lookin' down at ''my'' cleavage? (Chris laughs.) I'll make you smile, make you happy. [Chris removes the fake breasts.] You know I will, because I love you. I love you a lot.

''[Chris pauses and slouches down.]''

And do— and there ain't no— there's nothing else in the world, 'cept outside my family. [''Chris noticeably sighs.''] You know, 'cause, you know, I gotta— I gotta respect my mom and dad. But no [[sonichu (game)|video game]], no high score or no dang [[PS3|console]] is going to go over you, because I love you so much more. You can return the feelings and emotions. No dang— non-living object can ever do that. I swear.

''[Chris stands up straight, leans forward and [[creepy stare|grabs the camera]].]''

We'll be very happy together. I know it. I will make you happy as much as possible. And when you're feeling down, I'll make you feel better. I love you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Ghostbusters (video)|Ghostbusters]]|nextlink=[[100 2278]]}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 j]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 j]]

Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!

2021-09-14T00:35:57Z

Resrsc: archive

{{Honest}}
{{quote|Surfshack Tito started this Lingering Heartache Chaos! I will take him down Personally!|Chris, blaming someone's else for [[The Wallflower|his mistakes]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|again]].}}

{{quote|[This video] was pretty much dictated [by trolls]. Like, we'd play off of his interests at the time. So he was already trying to use his royal heritage in a half baked attempt to seduce [[the wallflower]]. We just prodded Chris into directly challenging Tito, by wearing a kilt to show just how British he is.|[[Marvin]] on how trolls [[manipulated]] Chris into recording the video.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.49854/post-1346753 (Archive https://archive.fo/5crRP)</ref>}}

[[File:Chrischanpantsu.jpg|thumb|Right|I see London, I see Greece, I see Chris's [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]!]]

'''Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!''' was uploaded by Chris early in the morning of 14 [[March 2010]]. Chris is angry with [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]], blaming him for causing a rift between Chris and [[the Wallflower]]. He then proceeds to threaten Tito by putting on a Scottish kilt, showing him his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear]], shouting in such a bad Scottish accent that it's [[Chris and race|insulting]], and being completely incompetent with a [[pocket knife]]. This video's title was noted in [[2018]] by the actual Britons at Cambridge University as an example of [[Chris and English|substandard English]], and has become the first known instance of formal linguistic study of Chris's odd habits.<ref>[https://books.google.com/books?id=NAdZDwAAQBAJ&pg=PA52&lpg=PA52&dq=tito+got+no+luck+against&source=bl&ots=PLjY0F2sXF&sig=ACfU3U3HsPBqj-R0o8dLoovEsizi_A6T8Q&hl=en&ppis=_c&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwigt6OTmvrlAhXimeAKHTK0CWYQ6AEwAnoECAkQAQ#v=snippet&q=sonichu&f=false Colloquial English: Structure and Variation, Cambridge University Press, 2018]</ref>

It should also be noted that seeing as Chris is annoyed that the personal details of the Wallflower have been leaked to the Internet, it would only make sense in his continuing parade of fail that he should drop her name. ''Twice''. Furthermore, the very next video he released features her pen name '''in the title''', which is exactly how the trolls identified her in the first place.

It is also worth noting that "Brits" is an all-encompassing term for anyone from the [[Wikipedia:United Kingdom|United Kingdom]], which ''includes'' [[Wikipedia:Scotland|Scotland]] and [[Wikipedia:Northern Ireland|Northern Ireland]], as well as [[Wikipedia:England|England]], [[Wikipedia:Wales|Wales]], and a number of outlying territories and islands. This video was released shortly before St. Patrick's Day, which does something to explain the Celtic vibe of the video. Unfortunately, this also implies an [[Naive|ignorance of the]] [[Chris and race|differences between the Scottish and Irish peoples]], of which there are many. He also leaves Wales out entirely, which is ironic because it is one of ''very'' few countries in the world with people who can naturally pronounce his dumb abbreviation (i.e. "cook"). However, in a case of [[Honor Roll|dumb]] luck that he couldn't have possibly intended, Ireland's Call, the song playing in the background, is actually the anthem of the united Ireland [[Chris and fashion|rugby]] team, created to be inclusive to both Irish Catholics and Northern Irish Protestants, who are mostly of Scottish descent.

{{-}}

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!
| ytid = znfqwbnepXc
| stardate = 14 [[March 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}
| shirt = {{TanWideLines|text}}
| previous = [[Don't Mess With Me]]
| next = [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|"Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!]]
}}

{{quote|Ach, ye wee laddy. You not gonna get me lassy today.}}

=== Transcript ===
[''[[Wikipedia:Ireland's Call|Ireland's Call]] is playing on the background.'']

TITO. Listen to me, you son of a bitch. Your--[[Death threats|your days are numbered]]. I have forwarded your admission...to...[the Wallflower], and also the awesome [[gal-pal]] that we know between us, our [[Kim Wilson|Scarlet]]. And with great honor and glory, I will take pleasure in [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|beatin' up your ass]]...and also...regain th--regain the love...and trust and friendship...of [the Wallflower].

Either way, you are going down, Tito. One way... [''Chris does a horrifyingly [[CWC Fighter|high kick]] wherein [[Butt garments|we can see his underwear quite clearly]].''] {{RageQuote|'''''Two ways'''''...}} [''He then fiddles with a knife for a good eight seconds.''] ...or three! [''He puts the knife on a desk off screen.'']

[''Chris begins badly imitating a Scottish accent and standing effeminately with one hand on his hip.''] Ach, ye wee laddy. You not gonna get me [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|lassy]] today. [''Chris comes closer to the camera and diverges into an accent somewhere between Scottish and Jamaican.''] I kick yo' ass with me [[Wikipedia:shillelagh|shillelagh]]! [''He fails to produce a shillelagh. Chris then holds up his right fist to display his [[high school ring]].''] And mah ring, man!

==See also==
*[[Death threats]]
*[[Surfshack Tito]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Don't Mess With Me]]|nextlink=[["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2010| 2010-03-14]]
[[Category:Surfshack Tito Saga videos| 2010-03-14]]

Thriller

2021-09-14T00:35:52Z

Resrsc: archive

"'''Thriller'''" is the 14th track from ''[[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]'' by [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]. It is a cover of the song "[[Wikipedia:Thriller (song)|Thriller]]" by [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Michael Jackson]], a song that makes references to the themes of classic '50s [[Saw|horror cinema]], and has absolutely nothing to do with cross-dressing. Why Chris included it on an album of [[tomgirl]]-themed songs is anyone's guess.

== Audio ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Thriller"
| ytid = 8gl5fN6rpq8
| stardate = [[November 2011]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}} {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[CWCALICIOUS]]
| next =
}}
=== Lyrics ===
''[sung over Michael Jackson's "Thriller"]''

Its close to midnight-night! 
Something evils lurkin in the dark. 
Under-der moon light, you see a [[Tomgirl Pictures|sights thats almost stops your heart]].

You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it 
''(anticipating start of line)''y-y-you start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes, 
You're paralyzed!

Cause this is thriller! Thriller night! 
No ones gonna save you from the beast about to strike. 
Th-the thriller! Thriller night! 
''(speeds ahead of Michael Jackson)''
You're fightin-fightin for your life inside a killer thriller tonight!

You hear the door-sloor slam 
And realize there’s nowhere left to run. 
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you’ll ever see the sun. 
You close your eyes, and hope that this is just imagination girl! 

But all, all the while, you hear the creature creeping up behind. 
You’re out of time!

Cause this is thriller, thriller night, 
Ain’t no second chance against the thing with forty eyes, girl, 
Thriller, Thriller night! 
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight! 

C-creatures calling, dead start to walk in their masquerade.(Struggles to pronounce this word) 
There's no escapin’ the jaws of the alien dis time … they’re open wide! 
This is the end of your life. 

‘Bout to get-shit you, [mumbling] on every side. 
They will possess you, unless you change that number on your dial. 
Now this the time, for you and I to cuddle close together, yeah! 
Oh, all through the night, I’ll save you from the terror on the screen. 
I’ll make you see. 

That this is thrillaaa, thriller night 
Cause I can drill you more than any ghosts would ever dare try, 
Thriller! Thriller night! 
Let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller chiller shriller here tonight! 
Cause this is thriller, thriller night! 
Girl, I can drill you more than any ghosts would ever dare try, 
Thriller! Thriler night! 
[[Jackie]], let me hold you tight and share a killer, thriller, ow! 

Gonna thrill you tonight!

''(Vincent Price begins his monologue, Chris misses the start)''
…ness has crossed the land 
The midnight hour is close at hand 
Creatures crawl in search of blooood 
[[28 October 2011|To terrorize ya’lls neighborhood!]] 
I’m thrillyoutonight … 
(Incoherant mumbling, thankfully drowned out by Vincent Price. Sounds like he’s quietly repeating the lines.)

I’m gonna thrill you tonight! Oh baby! 
I'm gonna thrill tonight! Oh Jackie Baby! 
Thriller night baby! Ooooohh 
Baby, Jackie, baby. Ooh I’m gonna thrill you tonight!

[[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|Foul stench]] in the air, the funk of [[Bob|forty-thousand years]], 
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb, 
Are closing in to seal to your doom. 

And though you [[CWCFighter|fight]] to stay alive, your body starts to shiver. 
For no mere mortal can resist; 
The evil of the Thri'''LLAR'''! 
''(Ending laugh cuts off after almost a second)''

{{The Tomgirls}}
[[Category:SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]
[[Category:Music]]

This was my fault

2021-09-14T00:35:51Z

Resrsc: archive

'''This was my fault''' (also known as '''01022010 - This was My Fault.MOV''') is a video posted by [[Chris]] on 2 [[January 2010]] where [[Chris and remorse|he apologizes]] to the [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|Sysop]] of [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia Closed Due To AIDS|CWCipedia]] and the [[My Coke Rewards|Coca-Cola company]] for his crass attitude and is ready to take full responsibility for his abuse of the [[Chris and copyright|Coca-Cola trademark]]. Of course, accepting "full responsibility" for Chris means to also partially blame [[Jack Thaddeus]].

Again, Chris thinks [[YouTube]] is a mystical, magical place where the [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|person]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|company]] or [[Godjesus|entity]] you address is likely to watch your video simply because they were mentioned.

The second video is because Chris's camera is "fickle," probably because he [[Sonichu's Edge|abuses it]] like he did his [[PSEye]].

==Part one==

{{Infobox/video
| name = This was my fault
| ytid = KrJLPyoAjLY
| stardate = 2 [[January 2010]]
| subject = {{Website|[[CWCipedia]]}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{DangerStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP]]
| next = [[This was my fault#Part Two|And I accept full responsibility of my actions]]
}}
{{quote|I thought... uh... free advertisements was OK, but it turns out I was wrong.}}

=== Transcript ===

(''Sigh'') ... [[Captain's Log]], Stardate: January 2, 2010. (Removes [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]])

(Sigh) Okay, well currently, the CWCipedia is down on account of a mistake I made... mmm... with the Coca-Cola ads. I thought... uh... free advertisements was OK, but it turns out I was wrong. But anyway, I put the majority of the ads on there, because number one the... uh... mislabelings, and I am sick and tired of those; (clenches fist, speaks angrily) I'm straight, goddamn it! And plus, number- and plus of [[Jack Thaddeus]], I put the more offensive ads that were on there before the less offensive ads that we have—uh—he has left up there now. But anyway, uh, quickly addressing the Coca-Cola Company, I hope it isn't--I pray it is not too late and that they get this-- (video glitches) and that they get this—I apologize for misusing the—uh—label, and if you will grant me the chance, I will be happy to remove those—I will be happy to remove all traces of those—uh—images... from the website... post-haste.

And, uh, also, to the SysOp, I apologize for this sort—I apologize for putting up this trouble-- [[Chris and remorse|I feel terrible about this]]... so, yeah, don't sell yet, Coca-Cola company, do not-- (video abruptly ends)

==Part Two==

{{Infobox/video
| name = And I accept full responsibility of my actions
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pVxMNnjxAH0}}
| stardate = 2 [[January 2010]]
| subject = {{Website|[[CWCipedia]]}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{DangerStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[This was my fault#Part one|This was my fault]]
| next = [[Down with Asperchu]]
}}
=== Transcript ===

Ah, go figure, the fickle battery cable on my—uh—camera... Anyway, the Coca-Cola Company: If—uh—I apologize, and—uh—you don't have to address the CWCipedia webmaster, take your complaints to me. I'm the one responsible for ma—er, for making that happen. It was my mistake and I take full responsibility of it. Anyway, with that, I hope we get the CWCipedia back up as soon as possible, so I can undo the mistake—ah—of the placement of the Coke ads, and I deeply apologize. Uh, to most everybody, (peace sign) have a pleasant day.

==See also==
* [[Jack thaddeus phone call 3]]
* [[Chris and remorse]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp]]|nextlink=[[Down with Asperchu]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, January 2010| 2010-01-02]]
[[Category:CWCipedia Saga videos| 2010-01-02]]

The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer

2021-09-14T00:35:40Z

Resrsc: archive

[[File:Crazypacer.PNG|thumb|400px|Chris's account.]]
'''"The Tale of the Crazy Pacer"''' is a blog entry by [[Anna McLerran]], under the name "Anniebananny," on 5 February [[2005]]. It details her experiences with [[Chris]] near an Abercrombie & Fitch and Pac Sun in the [[mall]].

Arguably the most notable independent account of Chris, this entry disproved any suspicion that Chris was a [[troll]] or an [[Rollin' and Trollin'|elaborate hoax]].

==Blog posts==

===THE CRAZY PACER===
<blockquote>
<hr/>
Okay, I've put this one off long enough. It's time for the story of all stories: The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer.

Once upon a time, there was a guy who paced in front of Abercrombie & Fitch. He'd come and do it for hours on end, just walking back and forth. He was an okay-looking guy, not evil-looking like Creepy Molester Dude. So he would pace for his allotted time, then leave. Sometimes as he paced, he would sing or shout. Nobody really could ever tell what he was saying. Oh yeah, and he always wore the same [[The Classic|shirt]], a nice little long-sleeved red and blue number that had a gold crest on the left side, and white collar and cuffs.

Eventually, I guess he got bored of just pacing like that, because he started to bring his [[Wikipedia:Game Boy Advance SP|Gameboy SP]] with him. He had his headphones hooked up to it. So he would pace like that, all the time. His peak hours were usually between 2:00 and 4:00, and he usually left by 5:00.

Then, one day he decided to start pacing on the Pac Sun side, so he started pacing in front of our store. I think the people at Abercrombie were relieved, because they were worried about the floor out front getting worn down.

So this one day, on the day it started (it will be explained in short order), we were doing floorset, and Lin Lin noticed that Crazy Pacer kept looking into Pac Sun as he paced, and she also noticed that he has a fair amount of [[Obesity|junk in his trunk]], if you know what I mean. And Star and I both noticed at the same time that [[Chris and fashion|his jeans were high-water]]. And we all laughed at him. Noooo, actually we were laughing with him, he just didn't know it, and he wasn't laughing along. And this day, he was acting particularly crazy. He'd pace and pace, then stop and shout something at the wall, then keep pacing. And he also did some [[Chris and music#Singing|singing]], even getting into the vibrato falsetto junks, it was hilarious.

So anyways someone, I can't remember who, suggested that the next time he looked in, we wave at him. Whoever suggested it should die, unless it was me, in which case I feel I have received enough punishment.

Of course, he looked in, and we all waved at him. He looked kind of bewildered and sort of scared at first, but quickly caught on and waved back. Then he went back to his pacing, but he was looking in to Pac Sun with greater frequency now. And any time anyone would make eye contact with him, he'd wave.

I had to go get Star an iced tea from Sbarro's, so I left and waved at Pacer as I went out. When I came back, he was sitting cross-legged on the floor outside Pac Sun, and he took the initiative and waved at me first. I smiled and waved back, but the smile wasn't to be friendly, it was because I thought it was hilarious that he was sitting on the floor like that. Good thing he couldn't tell the difference.

So we went on about our business, doing floorset and junks, and a little while later, he came in.

I was behind the counter, and Star was all, "Psst! Anna! He's coming in!!!"

I was kind of apprehensive about this...I mean, I had been doing floorset all day and I didn't really feel up to dealing with another crazy...but he came right up to the counter that I was standing behind, and he looks right at me, all fidgety and twitchy, and he goes, "You look to be about 19 years old, right?"

I busted out laughing, because he guessed it right. Star was laughing too, over from the sidelines where it was safe. "That's exactly right," I affirmed.

[[File:206-SonichuPose.jpg]]

"See, I know these things. I can just tell how old someone is," he said, kind of proud and still timid at the same time.

"Oh," I said.

"My name is Christian," he said, "but you can call me Chris. I'm Christian W. Chandler."

"Oh," I said. "Hi, Chris."

"So," he continued, "[[Sprung|Do angels have names?]]" (I found out later that he meant to say do angels like you have names...poor guy was so nervous he didn't get it right)

"Probably," I said, "but I don't know."

"Well, what's your name?" he asked.

"Sorry, I don't go for pick-up lines," I replied, kind of laughing.

His face kind of fell and I felt sorry for him, but he pressed on. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you, I was just asking your name. So what is your name?"

"Anna."

"Oh, that's a very pretty name. And I like your hair, it's a very pretty color. My [[heterochromia|eyes are two different colors]], one of them is green and the other is blue, that's because I had pink-eye a while back and one of them stayed that way. What color are your eyes?"

[[Honest Content|I was pretty grossed out by the pink-eye story]], but I told him anyway. "Sometimes blue, sometimes green, and usually gray."

"Oh, that's neat. It's funny how that happens, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I said.

"So do you want to, you know, go get some ice cream when you get off work?" he asked.

"No, I just ate," I said, "And I'm still pretty full. Plus I'm getting off soon."

"Okay, well, Anna, is there any way I could, um, get your phone number, and maybe I could give you a call sometime?"

"No."

"Ah. Well, do you want my phone number, then? You can call me on my cellphone."

"No thanks," I said.

He wasn't to be deterred. "So, um, so do you have a [[Boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend]], Anna?"

"No," I said.

"Oh!" he said, brightening, and started to say something else, but I cut in.

"I'm not looking for one, though," I said.

His face fell again, but this time I felt no pity. "All right," he said, fidgeting, "Well, um, do you have access to the internet?"

I nodded.

"'Kay...hold on one second. I'll be right back."

I nodded, and he went back to his "spot" where he kept his two tote bags and his Sam's Club cup. I turned to Star and she was all, "Dude he is so weird!" and I was like, "I know! Make it stop!"

He started to come back in, and I was like, "Um...I have to...go in the back...and get a drink of water..." but Star shook her head. I had to finish what I'd started.

So Christian came back, and handed me a card with a crudely drawn Sonic the Hedgehog and some other [[Sonichu (character)|yellow Sonic-looking creature]] on it, along with Christian's name, email address, and website. It was a homemade [[business card]]. "That's my email address, and you can just email me sometime, okay?"

"Okay," I said, not intending to email him at all.

He left the store, packed up his things, and went. His work for the day was done. But the story does not end here, my friends, oh no. He came back. Not the same day, but the day after that.

<hr/>
</blockquote>

===MY HORRIBLE WONDERFUL DAY===
On 8 February, Anna made another post, alluding to a "Note," presumably something to do with the [[Love Quest]].[https://web.archive.org/web/20150408033544/http://dangerless.blogspot.com/2005_02_01_archive.html]
<blockquote>Oh yeah, and Sonichu came in and visited for a little bit, but I really didn't feel like having him there. I WAS nice, though. I was nice. So after he left, Shorty wanted to know what was up with him, so I told her, and showed her The Note.</blockquote>

==Chris's reaction==
Chris did not know of Anna's blog post until finding it referenced on his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, and even then he paid little notice to it. However, towards [[January 2008]], Chris was contacted by a person who had gotten a bad impression of him based on Anna's blog post. On 27 January 2008, Chris emailed Anna and inquired her as to whether or not she was really the author of the blog post in question, and asked her to delete it if this was indeed the case.<ref>[[Chris emails 2008#January]]</ref>

Chris's email to Anna on 16 [[March 2008]] appears to be a response to a reply Anna wrote to the email mentioned in the above paragraph. It's not fully clear from Chris's second email if Anna admitted to being the author of ''Tale of the Crazy Pacer''. Regardless of what Anna told Chris, the tone of Chris's second email was cordial.<ref>[[Chris emails 2008#March]]</ref> On 17-18 [[December 2009]] Chris uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] a [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|response to his Encyclopedia Dramatica page]] in which he demonstrated knowing that Anna was the author of ''Tale of the Crazy Pacer''.<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)#IRL Stalker (Or so they Wrongfully Claim)]]: "Anna McLerran, after the writing of the blog entry, became a True Friend of mine, and she cares about my feelings as such. Anna, thank you for continuing to be my friend."</ref> Despite this Anna and Chris [[Anna McLerran#Protection of Chris|continue to be friends]].

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWCville Saga - Tale Of The Crazy Pacer
| ytid = CIUfTKEnI_M
| stardate = 20 [[August 2018]]
| maker =the sergeant at arms
}}

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20190913011805/http://dangerless.blogspot.com:80/2005/02/story-7.html Anna's original blog entry, names altered to "protect" Chris's identity].
{{DEFAULTSORT:Tale Of The Crazy Pacer}}

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

The Return of Kimmi

2021-09-14T00:35:38Z

Resrsc: archive

'''The Return of Kimmi''' is a video by [[Christian]], shot and uploaded on Easter [[2009]], but taken offline again shortly after. It shows Chris kissing his blow-up doll, [[Kimmi]], with a taped up drawing of Ivy on it.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = The Return of Kimmi
| ytid = abn_97qZnyc
| stardate = 12 [[April 2009]]
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Ivy|text}}
| shirt = {{RedStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[More for the crabs]]
| next = [[Bunny Hop]]
}}

{{quote|I love you, Ivy! C'mere!}}

=== Transcript ===

Well!

Here's Ivy! [''turns to doll''] Hi, Ivyyy! [''giggles'']

Mmm...yeah...[''hugs doll and kisses the top of its head repeatedly'']

I love you, Ivy. C'mere! [''passionately kisses the paper mask taped onto the doll's face for a good 20 seconds'']

[''sighs and giggles'']

[[Crass and Champ]]? Good little crabs! Good, good pets.

I love you, Ivy. [''kisses the doll one last time'']

== Fan video ==
{{Deletedvideo}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan Likes To Get It On
| ytid = NysVPw5BtVA
| stardate = 17 [[July 2009]]
| maker = naseer424
| subject =
| type = }}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[More for the crabs]]|nextlink=[[Bunny Hop]]|}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-12]]
[[Category:Ivy Saga videos| 2009-04-12]]