CWCki - User contributions [en]

EBay

2014-06-13T23:19:00Z

Retrofrappe:

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{lowercase title}}
[[Image:Etc_ebay_bid.PNG|thumb|A small overview of Chris's purchases on eBay.]]
[[Image:Etc_ebay_win.PNG|thumb|Moar.]]
{{quote|Opened package and was attacked by rabid raccoon. DO NOT TRUST THIS SELLER!|Feedback from fallenfromgrace216 on Chris's eBay account}}
'''eBay''' is an online auction site frequented by [[Chris]]. He has often purchased and sold stuff there.

==Chris as a buyer==
Chris bought a lot of [[My Little Pony]]s from the site. His many eBay purchases helped Chris accumulate a debt of $2,000 on his credit card.

During the [[Megan Saga]], [[Megan]] often got Chris to buy her stuff — pictures of World War II [[CWCville|Wehrmacht]] soldiers, [[anime]] CDs, ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' paraphernalia — from eBay, probably because she didn't have a credit card herself. In an email from 2007, Megan revealed the nature of the transactions, offering to repay Chris with "cash and or uneeded goodies",<ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007#Another_email_from_the_.22Seriously_Stop_Fucking_Touching_Me.22_collection</ref> though it seems in some cases Chris would buy things as gifts for her.

According to his feedback history as of 31 [[March 2010]], he spent $12.97 on ''[[God of War]] III ''The Forgotten Warrior Skin Code for PS3 and $9.99 for a ''God of War III'' Apollo In Game Skin Code. On 1 September 2010, he spent ''thirty dollars'' on a [[ModNation Racers]] Ratchet & Clank Mod. To put that in perspective, he could have bought the PSP version of ''ModNation Racers'' with that money, which he already did.<ref>http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback2&userid=jesusguidesme2&ftab=AllFeedback&myworld=true</ref> The Ratchet & Clank Mod was later released on the [[PSN]] for merely $2.<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/11/09/playstation-store-update-164/</ref> Most recently, however, Chris purchased a 'Lego Friends' promotional display stand for $30 <ref>http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback2&userid=jesusguidesme2&ftab=AllFeedback&myworld=true</ref>. 'Lego Friends' is a series of Lego aimed at Pre-Teen girls, as evidenced by it's general kidiness and ease of assembly.

After being MIA on eBay for 2 years, he came back in late 2012 as a buyer. A new noteworthy feedback was the Skylanders Giants Wii Bundle Pack plus Bonus, which he sold for $165.

==Chris as a seller==
[[Image:Meat.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' merchandise]]
[[Image:Gibson.jpg|thumb|left|Notice the wonderful pile of dishes. Who wouldn't want to buy something from this house?]]
[[Image:LeapsterPink.jpg|thumb|Chris auctioned off a [[Homos|pink]] Leapster similar to this one on August 13, 2008.]]
[[File:ChrisKreO.JPG|thumb|left|Chris tried to sell this for $65. Seriously.]]
[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|"The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]
Since the late [[2008]], when the Chris-chan phenomenon became more widely known, people used Chris's eBay account as a means to troll him. They would bid on his auction, not pay, and then leave lulzy negative feedback.

Early in [[2009]], Chris tried to stop this form of trolling by changing his eBay name to "[[Chris and religion|jesusguidesme2]]", and deleting information from his account. It didn't work. The account had been dormant since [[September 2010]], but was active again as of [[August 2012]].

As of [[September 2009]], Chris, in a rare display of monetary wisdom, sold two of his awful [[Gitar of Fail|guitars.]] While not the autistic magnum opus we know as that [[Gitar of Fail]], the "[[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|Meatwad's Shredwad]]" shows off Chris's disregard for [[Parody|copyright]] and his fail art in one fell stroke. It's perfectly okay for Chris to sell his crappy fake ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' merch, but none of those slanderous [[trolls]] can do [[Chris and hypocrisy|''the exact same goddamn thing'']] with [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] products. He also sold his Gibson model controller, which was covered in stickers. Someone purchased both controllers for a ridiculous $90.99, plus $6 for shipping.

He also sold a [[Transformers|Bumblebee 2008 Concept Camaro]] claiming that it was unopened, which wasn't true.

In August 2008, Chris auctioned off a pink [[Wikipedia:LeapFrog Enterprises|LeapFrog]] [[Wikipedia:Leapster|Leapster]]. He received $29.99 for it. The Leapster is a handheld "educational" video game system marketed to children ages 4-10. This wasn't released until late [[2003]], so Chris was at least ''twenty-one'' when he bought it. He may have bought it because there was a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|''Sonic X'']] game available for the system. The game, which involves answering math problems to advance, is appropriate for 5-7 year olds.<ref>[http://www.leapfrog.com/en/families/leapster/leapster_learning/lg_sonic.html]</ref>

On 18 September 2013, Chris returned to eBay and tried to sell the "kre-o micro changers Series 1, 12 piece set complete" collection for $65.

On 28 May 2014, Chris posted on Facebook that he is selling a Antonio Stradivarius Violin/Fiddle that belonged to his deceased [[Bob Chandler|father]]. Chris stated that he and his mother desperately needed to sell this family heirloom for some quick cash, while at the same time Chris begs his friends and family for duplicates of expensive LEGO sets he lost in the house fire.

On 1 June 2014, Chris listed an [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing]], with bids reaching over $10,000 in the first day of listing. Chris offered to frame the drawing and ship it in bubble wrap, but "ONLY when the art is Bought Now for the full price". He also planned to draw another "Original fresh" piece of art to sell afterwards. The listing was taken down mysteriously the morning after, but then reappeared later that day. Over the span of eight days, Chris attempted to force this piece of "work" to be sold at an exuberant price, only for it to be taken down repeatedly, forcing eBay to temporarily [[ban]] him.

Only time will tell if Ebay will be yet another place Chris is permabanned from.
==See also==
*[[List of Chris's eBay sales]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://myworld.ebay.com/jesusguidesme2 Chris's account]
*[http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback2&userid=jesusguidesme2&ftab=AllFeedback&myworld=true His feedback]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?kdhtoczdlxi Stuff Chris auctioned]

[[Category:Websites]]

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-13T23:18:28Z

Retrofrappe: whoops! realized this would be better on another page

[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|200px|"First ever straight-from-the-creator and artist full-colored Original Sonichu and Rosechu hand-drawn and colored artwork available for sale. The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingFramed.JPG|thumb|200px|"Rising Interests, AND Hurt from Trolls have instigated the increase of the Original Drawing in the relishing from the wrongful removal, so Tough. You want it; bid or PAY UP Now."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingCrotch.jpeg|thumb|200px|The inclusion of this image is to backup a previous unsolicited statement of ''"AND, in case you were paying attention, the Raichu Tail is FEMALE, just as the Rosechu that transformed from the original FEMALE Raichu HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE; [[Chris and English|VAGINIA]], OVARIES, C-CUP MILKING BREASTS WITH TITS AND ALL!!!"'']]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingSignature.JPG|thumb|200px|"Q: Why is the drawing dated 6/14/14? That date has not occurred yet. Are you sure this is legit? A: [[Honor roll|Oops! That was a mistake]]; I meant to write 6/1/2014; an extra "4" that should be disregarded, and it can not be undone or changed since it is laminated."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|The photo Chris attached to the Facebook post advertising his third attempt to have a legitimate auction.]]

[[Image:Ebayremoval.jpg|thumb|200px|"CRAP!!! After a few days of non-eBay-influenced peace, they tore my listing DOWN AGAIN!!! UGH!!! Too many damn idiots making unsolicited offers while I am SET on the final value after the very same [[Stress|Stress]] multiple times!!!"]]

The '''Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing''' is a laminated [[Chris and art|hand-drawing]] of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] that [[Chris]] is trying to auction off on [[eBay]] to raise the funds to buy more [[Lego|Legos]]. This is the second item Chris has attempted to sell on eBay this year, the first being [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] violin.

"Freshly thought and drawn on June 1, 2014", this picture also bears Chris's signature, although this is difficult to make out in the full-sized image. The uploaded image is in black-and-white, an apparent anti-forgery method used by Chris to protect his precious artworks from counterfeiting.

==First Two Listings==
Within the first day of bidding, the bids reached over $10,000 USD. Speculation of troll involvement is mentioned occasionally by Chris's friends on his Facebook post related to it. The first posting was removed, most likely due to Chris realizing (or being told) that he was unlikely to collect on it.

However, the listing returned on the next day, with some extra information added. Chris included a black-and-white picture of the frame he considers so goddamn important, a color closeup of his signature, a color closeup of [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] [[China|crotch]], and an additional alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Verification of the signature and Rosechu's womanhood caused bids to skyrocket, with bids quickly reaching $15,000 USD. It's important to note that eBay does impose some limits on how much a seller can sell an item for without paying additional fees.

==Protecting His Valuable Intellectual Property==
Chris also makes some [[Chris and copyright|untested copyright claims]]:

{{Quote|ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively. The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of [[Chris and money|profit]]|Chris}}

==Third Time's The Charm==
On the third day of bidding, the posting was taken down again, only to have Chris replace it with an identical one (minus the questions from prospective buyers). It is unknown if this is because eBay removed it, or Chris realized he was being fucked with again. He also appeared to stop accepting future inquires regarding the item, likely due to [[Trolls|misuse]] of it. He also made another [[Facebook]] post, again attempting to assert the authenticity of the item.

The original price was $5,000 Buy It Now or Best Offer, later reduced to $2,500. On Wednesday, June 04, 2014, a scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted a 'Best Offer' of $1,000 for his artwork, however, the buyer backed out the next day. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his [[Bob Chandler|father's]] Stradivarius violin.

==Fourth Listing==
After the previous [[trolls|buyer]] wouldn't pay up, Chris relisted the drawing on eBay with a $1,000 Buy It Now price and no auction. The sale is also a 'Pay It Now', meaning it must be paid for as soon as it is bought, so there is no chance of anyone 'buying' it and then backing out.

Chris later summarized his experiences thus far on Facebook:
{{quotebox|With eBay constantly removing my listing for this SAME, SINGULAR ARTWORK Four Times the past week, and the offer-maker who offered 1,000 on the last listing Totally Bailed! I am super frustrated and I am just SET on one thousand or bust on this SAME drawing what my venture with it having been [[Stress|Really Too Much]]. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I [[Legos|REALLY NEED THE MONEY]]. Please Buy and Pay in Full Now!}}

With this update, Chris has revealed that some of the removals of listings were due to eBay removing them. He also attempts to garner sympathy by reminding us all that the money is for his mother and him to live off of, as opposed to, say, [[Legos]], for instance.

The fourth listing was eventually removed by eBay as a result of Chris asking people to make him offers on the drawing outside of the official eBay interface. He immediately removed the offending clause and relisted it with everything else intact.

{{quotebox|I will be relisting Again, and I will make it Very Clear: NO OFFERS LESS THAN THE BUY IT NOW PRICE WILL BE ACCEPTED, AND ANY AND ALL OFFERS WILL BE READ AND DISREGARDED. I am not ignorant! I read all of those comments before I deleted them on the listing link here on Facebook.

My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for [[Legos|Debt relief]] and a living. Good Grief!!!}}

==Fifth Listing==
By 8 June, it was removed for a fifth time and Chris's eBay account was restricted from listing new items for 3 days due to repeated ToS violations. According to messages from eBay administration to Chris, posted by himself on Facebook for some inexplicable reason, these violations include 'direct sales', '[[Facebook|inappropriate links]]', and 'brand name misuse' (likely due to the usage of [[Nintendo|various]] [[Sega|copyrighted]] [[Sony|names]] in the listing). He reacted to this by demanding on Facebook that people [[Chris and his Ego| donate $1,000 to him via PayPal]]. He also betrayed the fact that he believed it was actually the troll bidding that got his listing pulled, not simultaneously soliciting sales on Facebook (a violation under the terms of service, as it allows the seller to avoid having to pay certain fees). The fact that Chris received several emails from eBay explaining the exact reason of these sanctions against him suggests that he didn't read (or agree with) the entirety of said emails.

{{quotebox|Are You All HAPPY NOW?!!! Because of ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLS pushing and Pushing and PUSHING ME, NOW I will not be able to list or relist for THREE DAYS!!! }:(( I am Super [[Chris and anger|Angry]] at most Everyone for REALLY Letting the Oxygen Out Of My Tank!!!

The ONLY WAY YOU ALL CAN MAKE THIS UP TO ME RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!! SEND ME $1,000.00, American Dollars, via PayPal to iammrc@aol.com. Quit Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, and PAY ME!!! Money is Really Tight with me and my mother here!!!}}

{{quotebox|Why the hell send your money, Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, when the Actual Artist and Creator, who has not received ONE RED CENT for ANYTHING "inspired" from my own works SOLD over the freaking, Damnable Internet and its even More Damnable Social Websites, or Wherever, and his family could use the money better for Debt relief And a [[Monthly tugboat|Living from a Tight, Low Budget!]].}}

By this point, his Facebook friends have repeatedly told him that begging for money and making demands is unlikely to make people want to help him, and that his art only really holds value to trolls. Several of them also suggest using a venue other than eBay to sell his wares, or to take commissions. Experience suggests that it is exceedingly [[Chris and his Ego|unlikely that Chris will listen to the advice of others]].

Later in the day, Chris seems to have calmed down somewhat. Despite almost-unanimous commentary on his previous Facebook status, telling him that his price is too high and that maybe he'd have more success selling more pieces at a lower cost, Chris remains unwavering in his belief that this piece (or perhaps the time and effort spent trying to sell it) is absolutely worth a grand.

{{quotebox|At this point, I will sell the framed drawing to the first person who sends me $1,000.00, [[Honor roll|USA American]] via PayPal (see earlier post). Please provide your name and US Mailing address in the details.

After that, and after the three day suspension, I will be more reasonably priced on future drawings. But if no one sends the $1,000.00, the still current drawing will be relisted for the full $1,000.00, regardless.}}

==During the Ban==
On June 9th, a buyer (presumably the one that 'bought' the piece before backing out and leaving Chris holding a big bag of fuck-all instead of a ten thousand dollar payday) left negative feedback on Chris's eBay account.
{{quoteboxred|Refuses to cooperate. Extremely rude and threatening. Blocks buyer no replies.}}

==Sixth Listing==
On June 12th, true to his word, Chris relisted the picture as soon as his ban had expired. Chris did not link to the posting on his Facebook status. The price remained at $1000, showing that Chris did however completely ignore all advice recommending he lower his prices.

{{quote|No Offers of Lower Value Will Be Accepted, PERIOD!!! NO DIRECT SALES EITHER!!! BUY IT NOW AND PAY IN FULL ONLY!!! I am Sick and Tired of eBay constantly removing my ONE listing for the ONE Artwork/Drawing that I have still YET to sell!!! UGH!!! My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for Debt relief and a living. Good Grief!!!|Chris, introducing the new and improved eBay posting}}

The statement of 'no direct sales' can either be interpreted as Chris claiming he will not attempt to sell the piece through Facebook again, or a disclaimer that he will not accept 'direct sales', which would suggest he still doesn't fully understand the reason of his ban. Soon after, the sale was removed ''again''.

==External Links==
[http://www.ebay.com/itm/Original-Sonichu-And-Rosechu-Drawing-June-1-2014-/191212601900?pt=Art_Drawings&hash=item2c8528c22c Current Listing (as of June 12)] [Down again]

[[Category:Sonichu artwork]]

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-13T23:16:57Z

Retrofrappe:

[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|200px|"First ever straight-from-the-creator and artist full-colored Original Sonichu and Rosechu hand-drawn and colored artwork available for sale. The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingFramed.JPG|thumb|200px|"Rising Interests, AND Hurt from Trolls have instigated the increase of the Original Drawing in the relishing from the wrongful removal, so Tough. You want it; bid or PAY UP Now."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingCrotch.jpeg|thumb|200px|The inclusion of this image is to backup a previous unsolicited statement of ''"AND, in case you were paying attention, the Raichu Tail is FEMALE, just as the Rosechu that transformed from the original FEMALE Raichu HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE; [[Chris and English|VAGINIA]], OVARIES, C-CUP MILKING BREASTS WITH TITS AND ALL!!!"'']]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingSignature.JPG|thumb|200px|"Q: Why is the drawing dated 6/14/14? That date has not occurred yet. Are you sure this is legit? A: [[Honor roll|Oops! That was a mistake]]; I meant to write 6/1/2014; an extra "4" that should be disregarded, and it can not be undone or changed since it is laminated."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|The photo Chris attached to the Facebook post advertising his third attempt to have a legitimate auction.]]

[[Image:Ebayremoval.jpg|thumb|200px|"CRAP!!! After a few days of non-eBay-influenced peace, they tore my listing DOWN AGAIN!!! UGH!!! Too many damn idiots making unsolicited offers while I am SET on the final value after the very same [[Stress|Stress]] multiple times!!!"]]

The '''Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing''' is a laminated [[Chris and art|hand-drawing]] of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] that [[Chris]] is trying to auction off on [[eBay]] to raise the funds to buy more [[Lego|Legos]]. This is the second item Chris has attempted to sell on eBay this year, the first being [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] violin.

"Freshly thought and drawn on June 1, 2014", this picture also bears Chris's signature, although this is difficult to make out in the full-sized image. The uploaded image is in black-and-white, an apparent anti-forgery method used by Chris to protect his precious artworks from counterfeiting.

==First Two Listings==
Within the first day of bidding, the bids reached over $10,000 USD. Speculation of troll involvement is mentioned occasionally by Chris's friends on his Facebook post related to it. The first posting was removed, most likely due to Chris realizing (or being told) that he was unlikely to collect on it.

However, the listing returned on the next day, with some extra information added. Chris included a black-and-white picture of the frame he considers so goddamn important, a color closeup of his signature, a color closeup of [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] [[China|crotch]], and an additional alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Verification of the signature and Rosechu's womanhood caused bids to skyrocket, with bids quickly reaching $15,000 USD. It's important to note that eBay does impose some limits on how much a seller can sell an item for without paying additional fees.

==Protecting His Valuable Intellectual Property==
Chris also makes some [[Chris and copyright|untested copyright claims]]:

{{Quote|ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively. The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of [[Chris and money|profit]]|Chris}}

==Third Time's The Charm==
On the third day of bidding, the posting was taken down again, only to have Chris replace it with an identical one (minus the questions from prospective buyers). It is unknown if this is because eBay removed it, or Chris realized he was being fucked with again. He also appeared to stop accepting future inquires regarding the item, likely due to [[Trolls|misuse]] of it. He also made another [[Facebook]] post, again attempting to assert the authenticity of the item.

The original price was $5,000 Buy It Now or Best Offer, later reduced to $2,500. On Wednesday, June 04, 2014, a scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted a 'Best Offer' of $1,000 for his artwork, however, the buyer backed out the next day. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his [[Bob Chandler|father's]] Stradivarius violin.

==Fourth Listing==
After the previous [[trolls|buyer]] wouldn't pay up, Chris relisted the drawing on eBay with a $1,000 Buy It Now price and no auction. The sale is also a 'Pay It Now', meaning it must be paid for as soon as it is bought, so there is no chance of anyone 'buying' it and then backing out.

Chris later summarized his experiences thus far on Facebook:
{{quotebox|With eBay constantly removing my listing for this SAME, SINGULAR ARTWORK Four Times the past week, and the offer-maker who offered 1,000 on the last listing Totally Bailed! I am super frustrated and I am just SET on one thousand or bust on this SAME drawing what my venture with it having been [[Stress|Really Too Much]]. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I [[Legos|REALLY NEED THE MONEY]]. Please Buy and Pay in Full Now!}}

With this update, Chris has revealed that some of the removals of listings were due to eBay removing them. He also attempts to garner sympathy by reminding us all that the money is for his mother and him to live off of, as opposed to, say, [[Legos]], for instance.

The fourth listing was eventually removed by eBay as a result of Chris asking people to make him offers on the drawing outside of the official eBay interface. He immediately removed the offending clause and relisted it with everything else intact.

{{quotebox|I will be relisting Again, and I will make it Very Clear: NO OFFERS LESS THAN THE BUY IT NOW PRICE WILL BE ACCEPTED, AND ANY AND ALL OFFERS WILL BE READ AND DISREGARDED. I am not ignorant! I read all of those comments before I deleted them on the listing link here on Facebook.

My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for [[Legos|Debt relief]] and a living. Good Grief!!!}}

==Fifth Listing==
By 8 June, it was removed for a fifth time and Chris's eBay account was restricted from listing new items for 3 days due to repeated ToS violations. According to messages from eBay administration to Chris, posted by himself on Facebook for some inexplicable reason, these violations include 'direct sales', '[[Facebook|inappropriate links]]', and 'brand name misuse' (likely due to the usage of [[Nintendo|various]] [[Sega|copyrighted]] [[Sony|names]] in the listing). He reacted to this by demanding on Facebook that people [[Chris and his Ego| donate $1,000 to him via PayPal]]. He also betrayed the fact that he believed it was actually the troll bidding that got his listing pulled, not simultaneously soliciting sales on Facebook (a violation under the terms of service, as it allows the seller to avoid having to pay certain fees). The fact that Chris received several emails from eBay explaining the exact reason of these sanctions against him suggests that he didn't read (or agree with) the entirety of said emails.

{{quotebox|Are You All HAPPY NOW?!!! Because of ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLS pushing and Pushing and PUSHING ME, NOW I will not be able to list or relist for THREE DAYS!!! }:(( I am Super [[Chris and anger|Angry]] at most Everyone for REALLY Letting the Oxygen Out Of My Tank!!!

The ONLY WAY YOU ALL CAN MAKE THIS UP TO ME RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!! SEND ME $1,000.00, American Dollars, via PayPal to iammrc@aol.com. Quit Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, and PAY ME!!! Money is Really Tight with me and my mother here!!!}}

{{quotebox|Why the hell send your money, Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, when the Actual Artist and Creator, who has not received ONE RED CENT for ANYTHING "inspired" from my own works SOLD over the freaking, Damnable Internet and its even More Damnable Social Websites, or Wherever, and his family could use the money better for Debt relief And a [[Monthly tugboat|Living from a Tight, Low Budget!]].}}

By this point, his Facebook friends have repeatedly told him that begging for money and making demands is unlikely to make people want to help him, and that his art only really holds value to trolls. Several of them also suggest using a venue other than eBay to sell his wares, or to take commissions. Experience suggests that it is exceedingly [[Chris and his Ego|unlikely that Chris will listen to the advice of others]].

Later in the day, Chris seems to have calmed down somewhat. Despite almost-unanimous commentary on his previous Facebook status, telling him that his price is too high and that maybe he'd have more success selling more pieces at a lower cost, Chris remains unwavering in his belief that this piece (or perhaps the time and effort spent trying to sell it) is absolutely worth a grand.

{{quotebox|At this point, I will sell the framed drawing to the first person who sends me $1,000.00, [[Honor roll|USA American]] via PayPal (see earlier post). Please provide your name and US Mailing address in the details.

After that, and after the three day suspension, I will be more reasonably priced on future drawings. But if no one sends the $1,000.00, the still current drawing will be relisted for the full $1,000.00, regardless.}}

==During the Ban==
On June 9th, a buyer (presumably the one that 'bought' the piece before backing out and leaving Chris holding a big bag of fuck-all instead of a ten thousand dollar payday) left negative feedback on Chris's eBay account.
{{quoteboxred|Refuses to cooperate. Extremely rude and threatening. Blocks buyer no replies.}}

==Sixth Listing==
On June 12th, true to his word, Chris relisted the picture as soon as his ban had expired. Chris did not link to the posting on his Facebook status. The price remained at $1000, showing that Chris did however completely ignore all advice recommending he lower his prices.

{{quote|No Offers of Lower Value Will Be Accepted, PERIOD!!! NO DIRECT SALES EITHER!!! BUY IT NOW AND PAY IN FULL ONLY!!! I am Sick and Tired of eBay constantly removing my ONE listing for the ONE Artwork/Drawing that I have still YET to sell!!! UGH!!! My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for Debt relief and a living. Good Grief!!!|Chris, introducing the new and improved eBay posting}}

The statement of 'no direct sales' can either be interpreted as Chris claiming he will not attempt to sell the piece through Facebook again, or a disclaimer that he will not accept 'direct sales', which would suggest he still doesn't fully understand the reason of his ban. Soon after, the sale was removed ''again''.

Only time will tell if Ebay will be yet another place Chris is permabanned from

==External Links==
[http://www.ebay.com/itm/Original-Sonichu-And-Rosechu-Drawing-June-1-2014-/191212601900?pt=Art_Drawings&hash=item2c8528c22c Current Listing (as of June 12)] [Down again]

[[Category:Sonichu artwork]]

List of Chris's edits to the CWCki

2014-06-03T18:49:37Z

Retrofrappe:

[[Image:chrisshotweb.jpg|thumb|right|Summary of the incident.]]
After Chris discovered the [[CWCki]] in [[March 2010]], he [[Cwc_blog#14 March 2010|demanded]] that pages related to his family and [[Gal-Pal]]s be removed, giving two deadlines. Around midnight on [[April 2010|1 April]], past the second deadline, he decided to attack CWCki, signing up as [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]]. In true CWC style, his [[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|vandalism]] was less than impressive. In fact, due to the fact that he made them on April Fools' Day, many users just assumed that it was an elaborate and lulzy prank on the part of the administrators. But no, it was f'real. Christian's posts were aimed at altering the articles he vandalized to make the CWCki seem to be praising him. As usual Chris's [[Chris and English|tenuous grasp of grammar]] made his edits stand out like a sore thumb. Chris returned under the guise of [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]], making several posts from 5 [[May 2010]] to 13 [[July 2010]]. He later returned as [[User:Christianchandler|Christianchandler]] in the aftermath of [[28 October 2011]], uploading three pictures of [[Michael Snyder]] on [[November 2011|4 November 2011]].

Although Chris originally demanded that the CWCki's administrators only edit or remove pages related to his friends and family, it is perhaps telling that when he finally set himself to actively vandalizing the site, he ignored those pages, choosing instead to make edits [[Chris and his Ego|glorifying himself]].

Listed below are all of Chris's edits made on both his accounts, unedited by trolls and exactly as he originally wrote them. Exception is made for headings, which in the quoteboxes where Chris put a heading is replaced with '''bold text'''.

==GodofThunderGodofWar==

[[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|All edits]]

===1 April, 12:35===
His first action was to edit the Did You Know? column, removing the majority of the factoids while adding a few of his own, most of which were merely rewrites of existing comments. Hilariously, he begins to glorify himself only ''after'' stating "The CWCki is a LOAD OF BULL", effectively nullifying his own attempts.

{{quotebox|
*...This webiste, the CWCki, is a LOAD OF BULL?
*...that Christian Chandler ALWAYS IS the mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are not to be confused with neither [[Pickles|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys healthy food, good drinks and just necessities with Good Money?
*...that Chris has been recording himself as early as [[10th grade]]?
}}

The following comments however, were left untouched.

{{quotebox|
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ham-ye-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that [[Chris]]'s sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris.27s_antics|Level Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
:*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is ''[E-Mail My Heart]''?*
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
}}

The unaltered DYK factoids were probably left alone because Chris failed to [[autism|notice the sarcasm]] in the comments and mistook them for compliments. [[Naïve|On a troll site]]. It should also be noted that the comment about Pixelblocks was also untouched, save for Chris adding the word "not" in the middle. It was likely he perceived it to be a spelling mistake and decided to correct it, even though the word "neither" instead of "either" later in the sentence makes Chris's edit [[Chris and English|''adding'' a mistake instead]]. The broken "10th grade" link was also caused by Chris, as the original version of this factoid linked to the [[Song of Christian]] instead.

*Altered for this article. This normally links to a [[Youtube]] video, but external links mess with the quotebox.

===1 April, 12:42===
He then changed the Article of the Now from [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] to himself.

{{quotebox|
[[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|right|200px|lolwut.]]

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgin]], Honest, Cool and Honest Dude, and creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[brilliant]] character, starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of most Normal Human Beings; Finding their Meaning of Existence, Their True Love, Their own Self-Character. No One should ever interfere or ever make a mockery of such a tride and true quest to finding HIS own Happiness with his WOMAN who is to be his Wife.

Yes, friends, it gets far sweeter.
}}

This edit stands as perhaps the most condensed essence of Christian to ever emerge in pseudo-paragraph format. Between the utter butchery of the English language, blatant ego stroking, and unintentional creepiness ("Yes, friends, it gets far sweeter") Christian pretty much manages to sum up what legions of trolls have spent nearly half a decade trying to record for the world. Also note that, while on a website dedicated to trolling him, he still attempts to insert links to other parts of the wiki. In all likelihood, Chris planned to vandalize these elements as well but stopped due to [[stress]]. In the original edit, the link "brilliant" instead linked to the Fail page. Much like the 10th Grade example above, Chris removed this part and created a redlink where there wasn't one before.

===1 April, 12:44===
A couple of minutes after, he made the infamous [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] the Picture of the Now.

{{quotebox|[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|300px|left|lolwut?]]

A recently leaked image shows an illustration by [[Chris]] having [[Sweet, Sweet Sex]] with three young women, including a white one, a black one, and one in-between.Chocolate-Vanilla Swirls!!! YAY! 8D}}

Not much needs saying here. Chris chose the image and added some [[random access humor]]. Why this image? Nobody knows. Also, the red link this time was actually put in entirely by Chris himself, rather than being another unintentional mistake. Why he thought the CWCki would have a page on "Sweet, Sweet Sex" is anyone's guess. Not to mention "Chocolate Vanilla Swirls" sounds borderline racist.

==JenkinsJinkies==

[[Special:Contributions/JenkinsJinkies|All edits]]

===5 May, 01:08===
In his first edit on the new account, Chris commented on [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|the hacking]] of the [[PS3]], saying the supposed bug was just an antenna. However, later that day he tore out the antenna anyway, just to be safe.<ref>[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]</ref>

{{quotebox|
'''Dude, Really? That's an Antenna'''

I trolled around and found it. http://www.eeshops.com/ps3-wifi-antenna-tyco-19039281-w400-p-528.html --[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 01:08, 5 May 2010 (UTC)}}

===8 May, 03:09 - 03:16===
Chris then turned to the [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]], clarifying that his ''Resistance: Fall of Man'' add-on pack was not bought by the trolls who took over his [[PSN]], but his ''[[Wikipedia:Killzone_2|Killzone 2]]'' pack was.<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads&diff=prev&oldid=88589 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref> He also said that the ''[[wikipedia:Downfall (film)|Downfall]]'' he bought was a movie, not a video game,<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_game_downloads&action=historysubmit&diff=88592&oldid=88590 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref> and removed a slanderous mockery that implied that his [[duck]] was small.<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads&diff=prev&oldid=88590 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref>

===3 July, 16:02 - 16:25===
Chris created the bizarre [[Coffee Place]] article, quoted below, in which he ranted about [[Amanda]], a part-time [[manajerks|manajerk]], who wouldn't give Chris a ''[[Wikipedia:The Twilight Saga: Eclipse|The Twilight Saga: Eclipse]]'' Sweepstake token because he only bought a $1.09 ice cream.
{{quotebox|
{{Taxpayermoneynoinclude}}

[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|A view of the counter where behind which has its own Troublemakers.]]

'''Coffee Anyone?'''

Within this single fast-food joint of the small town of Ruckersville, VA, Bobby goes for a morning coffee and breakfast most days of the week. Sadly, though, on some of those days, along with other seinor citizens who have been going there for years for their own "Early Bird Specials", they get harassed by one or two of the snot-nosed, snooty employees.

One of which, Amanda, is one of the Part-Time [[Manajerks]] who gives her elders the coldest of shoulders. Even with the recent Twilight sweepstakes, one or two of these folks who have enjoyed the Medium Icees for a single dollar and nine cents during their limited-time promotion and received the cups with the game pieces on them, Amanda recently decided that "One Dollar is TOO LITTLE for a Piece of the Sweepstakes Action."

Amanda also really Opens Up for the Black People; she would be most friendly to any of the black people. Uncle Ruckus would really kick the shit out of the bitch for not treating us white people with good kindness and respect. All of the seinors who loyally come in for their daily morning bread would just itch for the chance to smack her ass and crack her [[china]] in due respect to the harassment she has butthurt unto them.

'''Amanda'''

Not much else is known about Amanda at the moment, but the seinors have heard that she is a mother of two (probably get a daily butthurt from her every night). She is also assumed to be still married. I feel really sorry for the dude who has put up with that woman for the amount of time they've been married.

'''More Coffee Goodness'''

It has been reported that Chrissy has been sighted there, but no photographs has been taken, aside from the one above, of him inside the restaurant.

Photographic evidence should be sent to cwcsightings(AT)hotmail.com! Also, feel free to show off to everyone around you at the time the fresh Gay Trucker Photographs are taken. Users will be greatly rewarded with [[china]] and/or [[pickle|pickles]]!
}}

This edit was the first time Chris began to make his presence known. All edits under the JenkinsJinkies name were subtle up until this point, where any effort at subtlety ends. Chris made it obvious that it was him right from the start, both from his [[Chris and English|poor spelling]] and his terrible attempt to imitate what he believes [[trolls]] are like; for example, he obviously believes trolls to be [[Chris and race|racist]], so he goes off on a tangent about black people halfway through, and he believes all trolls to have [[Chris and sex|sexual issues]], so he acts like an outright misogynist for the last paragraph. He also tries to use internet slang in his attempt to sound like a troll, such as the word "butthurt", which he somehow manages to [[Honor roll|use as a verb]]. Chris also updated the [[Template:Places|places template]] accordingly to link to his new article.

===3 July, 20:16===
After CWCkians later arrived and saw that some faggot had put up a shitty article with no citations or real evidence of anything happening, they assumed a troll pretending to be Chris, or else a [[slow-in-the-minds|really stupid person]], and put up a deletion template. Chris noticed and leapt to the article's defense on the talk page with this textwall.

{{quotebox|
'''Do Not Delete; Pursue for the Drama.'''

My family and I were there one morning a couple of weeks ago; my camera was screwing up with me, so I ended up with the photo of the front counter. I haven't been back for a while (Damn parents won't drive me back there), and I'm only 14.

Robert was shouting at Amanda, and eventually Chrissy joined in with an uproar so loud, it would have awaken the dead. It was in response to Amanda harassing them that day. I asked around after Robert and Chris left, without my family taking notice of me.

I can get away with anything within my reach; I'm the middle child of a set of three in my family. Sadly, we were only passing through that week on our way back from a visit with my Grandma and Grandpa in South VA; we live up in Boston.

Being bullied as a Freshman last year in my High School was no fucking picnic either. And I really loath ANYONE who is even considered "Special". I'm Special enough on my own for being invisible yet able to attract attention remotely with a mere thought or do-nothing and having to put up with the aggresiveness in my fucking family; I am very much the Master Mind in the family. My father is damned retarded.

But enough about me, I hate Chris as much as the rest of you. Stopping the presses on his books and giving up his website; it still pisses me off. If I recall correctly, it was about 10:30 when the Father and Son Duo left, so best bet is about 10:00 AM to try and intercept. I want to see Chris, if not both of them, squirm in torture from our Trolling of him. I really want to see him blow his top off again. LULZ.

Oh, and the Windows at that place were Tinted, so the photography would be best from inside the place.

For the LULZ!!!!

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:16, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

Here, Chris established his troll backstory and continued to try and act as close to what he believed a troll to be like as possible, this time playing the part of a [[BlueSpike|sadist]] who hates Chris because he's [[Autism|special]] who was [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|bullied at school]] and had [[Bob Chandler|daddy issues]]. Because that's totally what real trolls are like.

===11 July, 19:43 - 12 July, 08:05===
In response to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] leaving Chris a message on his user talk page, asking him for his details so he could send him his reward for providing them with information, Chris posted this strange rambling.

{{quotebox|
Thanks, man, but I'm good; I lost my young virginity with a Seinor Cheerleader; her china was sweeeeettt! Plus, as an Anon, I prefer to keep my add off of the web. I would not want Chris coming after my ass. The mindfuck that he is, I would not want to fall victim of one of his impulsive manchild rampages. I just enjoy getting the LULZ off of him.

That's all the info I got of [[Amanda]]; my family and I don't travel to South VA that often, but I'll see if I can hitch another trip and find a place to crash in VA. I wouldn't be missed; I am soo overlooked in my family.

Something else that has piqued my curiousity, from the [[Hooker incident]], I'm wondering from which luscious company or group [[Bryan Bash]] the ladies came from, specifically the company name, their website, and from within Chris's crappy (434) A.C. Because if they were out-of-his-state, I may give them a call myself. >:D

Thank you for your support, [[User:Clydec|Clydec]]; you're awesome.

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 18:43, 11 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

The main focus of the message here seems to be establishing more troll backstory, giving excuses as to why he couldn't give Clyde his details, and dropping as many troll buzzwords as possible, like "[[4-cent_garbage.com|Anon]]" and "[[Laughs Under Lucricities|LULZ]]". He also inquires about the hookers sent to his house by Bryan Bash, likely so he can take advantage of their services to get rid of his hated [[virgin with rage|virginity]]. Also notice how even when he's deep undercover as a Chris-hating troll, he still feels the need to bolster his own [[Chris and his Ego|ego]], claiming to be genuinely afraid of Chris; something no-one other than Chris himself could ever seriously consider anything other than a joke.

When Clyde appropriately pointed out that being afraid of Chris indicated Jenkins was a pussy, Chris replied with:

{{quotebox|
Firstly, I am not a pussy; I am as wild as a serial raper. Second, I saw those videos; he is still a curiously impulsive individual. It is people like him that tend to explode in a hidden-potential fury that could be very dangerous. While you may see him as a weak fuck, I see a crazy man who will likely strike at any given moment.

During the time now, I enjoy laughing during his weaker moments, yet I still am concerned in what intelligence and fury lie within him waiting to strike. He may be only waiting and plotting for the day when he may hunt us down, one by one. We can only hope that day will never come.

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 07:05, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

Again, despite being undercover as a troll, Chris spends time trying to convince [[Clyde Cash]] and the others that he is really [[I AM STRONG|strong]], [[Honor roll|intelligent]] and will [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|probably kill them all]]. Again, things that only Chris could ever seriously believe. Also, add "wild as a serial raper" to the list of memorable Chris-Chan quotes.

===13 July, 22:24===
And of course, where would we be without a little advertising? Even while pretending to be a troll, Chris still [[Chris and his Ego|couldn't resist]] breaking cover yet again to advertise his ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' beta tracks.

{{quotebox|
'''He has his Beta Track Up'''

As well as some actually neatly recreated Hot Wheels vehicles. He locked a couple of them; the manchild must have Favorited those TWO cars from his collection. LOL His track is lengthy, and confusing, but I managed to run some laps on it. And he added a good version of the Park with a fountain, and a Beach.

Download his Beta Cwcville Track for the laughs of using the defaulted Beta Tools.--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

This was Chris's last edit made to the CWCki before he then signed up for [[Trollin Train]], as part of a scheme by Clyde and [[Surfshack Tito]] to trick him into destroying his [[PS3]], a mission ending in [[The MovingFoward videos|great success]]. All further JenkinsJinkies dumbfuckery is documented on the [[Trollin Train]] page.

==Christianchandler==

[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler|All edits]]

===4 November, 18:26 - 18:32===

Chris's first action under his third account was to upload three photos of [[Michael Snyder]] taken with his [[Nintendo|3DS]] during the [[28 October 2011]] incident. The first was taken from the interior of [[The GAMe PLACe]], and was put on its CWCki article. The other two were taken from inside [[Son-Chu]] in the parking lot and were added into Snyder's article, one of them replacing an [[:File:2004 merchant of venice 008.jpg|existing image]]. Chris added his own captions, in which he hilariously [[Chris and hypocrisy|mocked]] [[Obesity|Snyder's weight]] and accused him of being a [[Pedofork|child-molesting]] [[Chris_and_religion#Judaism|Jew]].

The photos Chris uploaded are below, Chris's captions included.

<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|"The inside of the PLACe as of October 27, 2011."

File:HNI 0021.JPG|"Look at his "slender" figure."
File:HNI 0022.JPG|"Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile."

</gallery>

===4 November, 18:40 - 18:41===

Chris proceeded to make the second photo the Picture of the Now...

{{quotebox|[[File:HNI_0021.JPG|200px|left]] [[Michael Snyder, in the flesh.]]!|}}

...And subsequently added mentions of all three to [[:Template:Da Update|Da Update]].

{{quotebox|*4 [[November 2011|October]]: [[Michael Snyder]]; up close and personal in three new "HNI" photographs.}}

===4 November 20:02 - 20:03===

Chris returned about 80 minutes later to upload two new pictures. The first is of an [[Anime|anime]] girl named XBOX360ko, apparently a human with all the features of an [[HEXBox|XBOX 360]]. He then replaced the second Snyder photo with a picture of a colorful fox. The bottom-right corner reads [[Chris and copyright|©]] [[Chris and his Ego|ME ME ME ME ME]]. The purposes of both photos are [[Random-access humor|unknown]].

<gallery>
File:481px-360tankx6.jpg
File:Chrisfox.JPG
</gallery>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
*[[CWCki]]
*[[JenkinsJinkies]]
*[[Coffee Place]]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Lists]]

Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance

2014-05-29T00:32:22Z

Retrofrappe: I've been into this series since 2007 ok

'''Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance''' is the signature attack of Chrs-Chan Pure [sic], the duo of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystalina Rosechu]]. The move has been used only twice,<ref>''[[Sonichu 4]]'', pp. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_90 90]-[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_92 92]; ''Sonichu 5'', pp. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_5/Page_43 43]-[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_5/Page_44 44]</ref> owing to the fact that Crystal was trapped in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] one issue after her introduction in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]].

==Spelling==
The attack's name appears at first to be a misspelling of "Chr'''i'''s-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance". The fact that the attack's name is spelled without the letter "i" in both times it appears might be explained by saying that Chris copied and pasted the name into the dialog box, thus replicating the typo. However, it should be noted that a '''Chrs-Chan Pure''' logo Chris drew also uses the same idiosyncratic spelling,<ref>See the bottom of [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_90 page 90] in ''[[Sonichu 4]]''.</ref> suggesting it might be deliberate.

==Description==
[[Image:325-PrettyCureCard.jpg|thumb|Right|Why yes, it ''was'' in fact stolen...]]
In a retarded fancomic which rips off anime as a matter of course, the Lance still manages to stand out as the most absurd, weeaboo move in the entire series.

The attack was first used in the finale of ''Sonichu'' #4. Crystal had just rescued Chris from the clutches of [[Mary Lee Walsh]] in The [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]. Determined to end the threat of PVCC once and for all, the duo joined hands. Chris-Chan summoned Blue Thunder, while Crystalina summoned Orange Thunder. Holding their free hands in the air, they spoke the following words:

'''Crystalina''': Our [[Autism|Unique]], [[Chris and his Ego|Wonderful]] Souls....

'''Chris-Chan''': ... shall crush your Evil Hearts and Dark Souls!

They then pointed their free hands at Walsh's crystal ball, the orange and blue energy blasts mingling together as they converged. The resulting destruction not only destroyed the crystal ball, but reversed Walsh's spell, changing the Private Villa back into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Piedmont Valley Community College]]. Walsh and [[Count Graduon]] were unharmed, as they wisely teleported out of the building before the attack was completed, knowing full well that shits was about to happen and getting away whilst they still had the opportunity.

In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], the Chrs-Chan Pure used the attack again, this time to defeat the [[CADD Chef]] during Mary Lee Walsh's invasion of [[CWCville]]. The same motions were used, except this time the tandem used a slightly different speech:

'''Crystalina''': Our Unique Souls...

'''Chris-Chan''': ... shall brighten and crush your [[Niggos|Black]] Hearts!

The extent of the damage done to the [[CADD Chef]] was not depicted in the comic, although it was not seen again for the rest of the battle, so it was most likely rendered inoperable, at the very least.

Shortly afterward, Crystal became trapped in the Dark Mirror, where she remained [[Sonichu 10|until Chris just picked her up and left]], though she hasn't done anything since. This, combined with Chris's claim that he's [[List of Chris's lies|removing himself from the comic]], leaves the future of Chrs Chan Pure, and their Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance, in doubt.

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:Chrschanpurepulsejoltlance1.jpg|CHRS-CHAN
Image:Chrschanpurepulsejoltlance2.jpg|PURE
Image:Chrschanpurepulsejoltlance3.jpg|PULSE-JOLT
Image:Chrschanpurepulsejoltlance4.jpg|LANCE!
</gallery></center>

==Inspiration==
The attack motions and speech are a rather shameless rip of the attack done by the heroes of the anime series ''Pretty Cure'', (more particularly the original series Futari Wa Pretty Cure and its sequel Max Heart)right down to the "beautiful souls crushing evil hearts" part. The only part of the attack that wasn't stolen was the name; since the attack is called ''Marble Screw'', this is considered a lost opportunity.

{{#ev:youtube|gNhX2aBKk4k}}

Pretty Cure is known for being something of an affectionate parody of the magical girl formula, with the characters often lampshading the over the top and impractical nature of their outfits, attacks, etc. as well as being a major cash cow for Toei Also, the characters generally look like children, which suits Chris [[Pedofork|just fine]].

[[Category: Special Attacks]]

==References==
<references/>

Kick the Autistic

2014-05-25T18:39:46Z

Retrofrappe:

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Game of the Year, all years.]]

'''Kick the [[Autism|Autistic]]''' is the world's favorite game. This is the act of doing anything [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] doesn't like. It is very probable he has done this in the past to get "[[china|speshul treatment]]" from "Young Ladies."

==Variations==
[[File:Kta.PNG|thumb|And on [[HEXBox]]!]]
There are many known variations of the game, and we will go through the most effective.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a competition of artistry where Chris also competes, and [[Honor roll|out-talent him]]. This is usually easily done by showing any competence at all. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and shoot at your photograph.]] Or beat you up in [[Soul Calibur]].

===Chris Style===
Set yourself up as one of the most visible and recognized representatives of autism within [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] culture. [[Chris and negotiation|Act like an entitled child]] and [[Chris and sex|develop]] horrifying [[recycling|perversions]], which you discuss on [[YouTube]]. Give other autistic people as well as those with Asperger Syndrome (which he hates) a bad reputation by association. There is a 100% chance this will result in them trolling you.

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Take the time to befriend Chris and pretend you are a [[Boyfriend Free Girl]] until Chris trusts you. Then get Chris to give you something of value to him, and destroy it.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
Chris is very funny about the material which he has plagiarized. If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's plagiarized comics. He will throw a fit and "take legal action against you if not removed by 14 days."

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Chris is of the completely clueless type, and will trust anyone <s>with a little bit of time</s> who claims to have a [[China|china]]. Pretend to befriend Chris, and when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something lulzy. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him drinking his own [[semen]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and wait for the lulz to come pouring in.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a pickle suit. He will be bewildered by it and powerless to act.

===[[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid.]] Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even rape women to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for [[Jimmy Hill|clouding]] [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement.]] As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity... or reincarnated as a pickle... whichever.

The current champion of this style is Chris himself.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are the</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours.

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect. Bonus points for buying ad space on the [[CWCipedia]].

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
[[List of places that have banned Chris|Permaban]] Chris from [[The GAMe PLACe|an establishment]] for [[Chris and anger|no]] [[Chris and his Ego|good]] [[death threats|reason]] other than [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|sheer hatred for autistic people]]. Patiently wait until he tries to come back to his rightful place, and then [[28 October 2011#Email?|rub your legs on his car's bumper in order to fake injury]]. Sue Chris for damages and bribe [[July 2012 Facebook posts#Court|whoever needs to be bribed]]; once this is done, you'll be rolling in the dough.

===[[God]] Style===
Refuse to bail out the one and only Autistic Hero and center of your universe, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA whenever he hits parked cars, [[28 October 2011|trespasses on private property]], or [[Walmart|vandalizes store displays]]. Grant prayers to people with concerns that aren't half as important as winning glorious victory over the Trolls/Cyber-Bullies. Finally, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|refuse to step in when your Autistic Hero accidentally sets fire to his home]].

===[[Gal-Pal]] Style===

Reveal that [[Kellie_Andes|you]] were [[Gal-Pal#Betrayal|just friends with him out of pity]]. Then, when Chris [[Chris and Anger|throws a tantrum]] about it, turn that pity into laughter by linking to one of [[For_J-R's_Eyes_Only.MOV|his videos]] for all of his former gal-pals to see just how far he's fallen since they've last seen him.

===Literally===

Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: The teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (barely), [[Jerkops]] (probably exaggerated) and [[Niggos#Conflicts_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost).

Chris has never experienced any substantial physical pain in his entire life that we know of. No broken bones or bare knuckle fights. His parents never raised a hand against him. There is also no record of him being grounded, or punished in any significant way even after he was [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]. There is an anecdotal story about the time that [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell and skinned his knee, vowing never to roller skate again.

Because Chris has never been through the "school of hard knocks" ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|even running away if a confrontation seems imminent]],) he seems pretty confident that he [[Mary Lee Walsh|can]] [[Surfshack Tito|tell]] [[Clyde Cash|any]][[Michael Snyder|one]] [[Death threats|any]][[Chris and race|thing]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|he]] [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|wants]] without fear of consequence. However, with his latest skirmish on the [[28 October 2011]], it remained to be seen if things would have remained this way if he was sentenced to jail, where prisoners don't take too kindly to self-entitled manchildren who throw [[Chris and anger|temper tantrums.]] Fortunately for him, he evaded this fate.

==Uses by Chris==
Recorded examples of this particular CWC-ism include the following:

*In the e-mail he sent to Sony after losing [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris blamed his failure on "AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!'"
*At the same time, in his first [[PSN Blogs|PSN blog entry]] cursing [[Adam Stackhouse]], he bitched and mixed his metaphors about how "I have been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for my whole life."
*After finding out that [[PandaHalo|Panda]] was a troll during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], Chris whined, "And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of 'Kick the Autistic'."
*Addressing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] users on 21 January 2008, Chris wrote ''"And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "KICK THE AUTISTIC", [[Chris and hypocrisy|then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.]]"''
*A variation was used in Chris's second version of [[It's UGH!#Remake|Ok2bgay]], with Chris opening the video with the words "Merry Kickmas".

==Conclusion==
Remember kids, Kick the Autistic is everyone's favorite game and can be replayed over and over with Chris. He just never learns.

==See also==
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Video game president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major Nintendo consoles in time for Christmas.
*[[Troll]]

==External links==
*[http://www.pictogame.com/en/play/game/bq1o8yBlHtPu_cwc-in-kick-the-autistic Click to play!!] (Offline)

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

User:Retrofrappe

2014-05-20T00:50:12Z

Retrofrappe: userpage

Hellooo
I am Sarah a 20 year old woman with Aspergers syndrome from Ohio who cannot spell worth shit.

CWC Like a Virgin

2014-05-18T23:54:51Z

Retrofrappe:

"'''CWC Like a Virgin'''" is Chris's version (in the loosest sense of the word) of [[Wikipedia:Madonna (entertainer)|Madonna's]] "[[Wikipedia:Like a Virgin (song)|Like a Virgin]]" from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]''.
==Listen==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "CWC Like a Virgin"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Mbmo14vW0dU}}
| stardate = [[April 2009]]
| subject = [[Love Quest]]
| style =
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]
| next = [[Feel Our Love At Play]]
}}
===Lyrics===
[''sung over Madonna's "Like a Virgin"'']

I made it through the wilderness
 I made it through
 
 Didn't know how lost I was
 Until I found you
 
 I was beat incomplete
 [[BlueSpike|I'd been had]], [[CWC is sad|I was sad and blue]]
 But you made me feel
 Yeah, but you made me feel
 Shiny and new
 
 Like a virgin
 [[Virgin with rage|Touched for the very first time]]
 Like a virgin
 When your heart beats
 With your heart beat next to mine ''(sic)''
 
 Gonna give you all my love girl
 My [[Noviophobia|fear]] is fading fast
 Been saving it all for you
 Because only love can last
 
 You're so fine and you're mine
 Make me strong, yeah you make me bold
 Oh your love thawed out
 Yeah, your love thawed out
 What was scared and cold
 
 Like a virgin
 Touched for the very first time
 Like a virgin
 With your heart beat, next to mine ''(sic)''
 
 Ooohoooh oooh ooh
 Ohh oh oh ohhhhhh
 Oh oh oh ohhhhh
 
 Like a virgin
 Touched for the very first time
 Like a virgin
 With your heart beat next to mine ''(sic)''
 
 Woahah ohhh oh ohhhhh
 Woahah ohhh oh ohhhhh
 Woahah ohhh oh ohhhhh
 
 [[Homos|Feels so good inside]]
 ''(Muffled from CWC wussing out from karaoke at this point)''
 And you touch me
 When you hold me
 Feel so strong inside
 
 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ''(Note: Chris doesn't sing this, but it's left at the end)''

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]