CWCki - User contributions [en]

Kitchen

2011-04-22T02:55:13Z

Reversed cliche: honest for da nudes

{{Honest}}

[[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]. '''Chris's kitchen''', located on the second floor of [[14 Branchland Court]], is a disgusting cesspool full of rotten food, boxes of old crap, and no doubt a few gallons of tard navy from many a sex chat.

Chris's [[Computers|computer]] is located here, and he has shot a few videos in this place, including various videos of him masturbating.

== Items in Chris's Kitchen ==
[[File:CWCmassdebate.jpg|250px|thumb|What normally goes on in the kitchen.]]
The following items are present in Chris's kitchen:

* [[Chris]].
* [[Christmas]] decorations (including a tree) that are left to stew year round and most likely have been there since the Chandlers moved in.
* Various pots and pans.
* Disposable fast food drink containers piled up on top of plates.
* A mountain of presumably unwashed dishes and cookware covering almost half the window. The giant mound spills out past the window and well around the corner of the bench. No space to prepare food is visible.
* One perfectly cylindrical object emblazoned with a Mountain Dew label.
* Plastic bags, some apparently still containing matter.
* Two chairs or movable set of drawers, both covered in junk.
* A potted plant sits atop the cupboard. Due to its healthy, uniform bright green colour despite living in a trash heap on a high shelf with no access to sunlight or water, [[trolls|top men]] are certain it is fake.
* Paper plates still smeared with some kind of off-yellow food are clearly visible sitting near the two fast-food drink containers atop a mountain of rubbish. Could be an overflowing bin.
* A purple box of tissues right beside/behind the microwave in the far left corner.
* Various knick-knacks on a small shelf obscure another part of the window; coupled with Mount Trashheap, this almost completely obscures the window.

== List of videos filmed here ==
Presumably, almost all of Chris's IRC chats and webcam/VOIP conversations took place in the kitchen, save for a few that employed only his [[PS3]]. He has also ventured out of his room to record several videos in front of the computer in the kitchen.

*25 September 2008: the [[Chris Sex Videos]]. Chris performs various bizarre dances, strips and jerks off in front of a webcam for [[PandaHalo]].
*3 November 2009: [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. While the bulk of this video takes place in a [[LittleBigPlanet]] level, Chris recorded a brief preface in his kitchen.
*24 December 2009: the [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital]]. Chris expresses his sympathies for the ailing Columbine killers.
*31 December 2009: the [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp]]. Chris complains about the ads on his [[CWCipedia]] and wallows in the delusion that he has any control over the site.
*31 May 2010: [[100 2189]]. Chris announces his abandonment of the CWCipedia while insisting that he still owns the rights to Sonichu.
*15 October 2010: [[100 2281]]. Chris sips from a bottle of liqueur and gibbers at [[Jackie]]'s boyfriend Lars in wigger dialect.
*18 October 2010: [[Breast Cancer Awareness]]. Chris stuffs his [[plush breasts]] under his shirt and discusses the dangers of breast cancer.

{{places}}

{{stub}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]

Ryan Cash

2011-04-12T02:17:23Z

Reversed cliche: Clyde faked his death.

[[Image:Ryancash.jpg|thumb|Ryan Cash after finding out that ''Sonichu'' would no longer continue]]
[[Image:Ryan memorial.PNG|thumb|This is how Chris honors the dead.]]
{{quote|Dear [[Clyde Cash|family]] and friends, this is my final message to you, i am going to kill myself after my hero, christian weston chandler let me down. [[Sonichu]] was my hero and without anymore [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] i will never be able to aspire to be just like him. i hate christian for deciding to not make any more comics and being lazy! all he does is play his stupid [[video game]] and [[Ego|not care about anything but himself]]! He's such a [[jerk]]! GOOD BYE FOREVER I HOPE TO SEE YOU IN HELL CHRIS. Ryan Cash.|Ryan's suicide note}}
'''Ryan Cash''' (11 September [[1990s#1996|1996]] - December [[2008]]) was a devoted ''[[Sonichu (comic)| Sonichu]]'' fan who committed suicide when [[Chris]] announced there would be no comics released in protest of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. As a result, his older brother, [[Clyde Cash]], launched a mission to avenge his death, a mission that teeters between unwavering justice and obsessive vengeance. Ryan was truly an hero. GOOD NIGHT SWEET PRINCE, YOUR [sic] IN HEAVEN NOW!

{{quote|yeah, don't remind me of Ryan; suicide over my brief moment proclimation of stopping Sonichu in response to the hate; it hurt me emotionally. That was worse than [[Chris|that child]] locking himself [[Homos|in the closet]] after watching Optimus Prime die in the Original [[Transformers]] Movie.|Chris, [[IRC (28 December 2008)|28 December 2008]]}}

When notified that his actions directly led to the self-inflicted death of an innocent [[BlueSpike|12-year-old boy]], Chris was entirely devoid of [[Chris and remorse|remorse]], instead expressing his fascination in the fact that he had the power to cause somebody to do this. He also completely lacked compassion and pity, suggesting that Clyde and his family "move on" and "try to be happy in the future" as well as comparing Ryan's death to [[Patti|his dog's]].

In the [[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|comic]] following the tragedy, Ryan was given a passing mention, and Chris immediately returned to his [[Love Quest]] to get some [[china]]. This is yet another example of Chris's blatant narcissism.
{{clear}}

==See also==
*[[IRC (18 December 2008)]] - first mention of Ryan's death
*[[IRC (22 December 2008)]]
*[[CWC Update 28 December 2008]]
*[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]
*[[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]]
*[[Chris and death]]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Ryan}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category: Clyde Cash Saga]]

Kacey Call 22

2011-03-27T04:29:50Z

Reversed cliche:

Just a brief overview until the entire call is transcribed.

File Name: kc92709.mp3

*[[Chris]] went to couple's relationship class by himself, told them about being trolled and how hard it is to be him.
*Kim told Chris to make a [[Sonichu]] [[cosplay|costume]], [[Kacey]] agreed. Chris says it's too much work.
*Chris is trying to get a job at [[Target]].
*talking about buying and selling ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' stuff on [[Ebay]], says that ''Guitar Hero'' is better than ''Rock Band''.
*Chris talks about a bear and her cubs being near a school; he heard about it on the news. Kacey sounds bored as hell.
*talks about more news stuff, a guy who raped a 13 year old girl ran to Europe, Kacey doesn't care but then gets angry about child molesters.
*Chris says that child molesters should only get 5 years in jail. Kacey says that it should be longer, Chris eventually changes to 20 years. Kacey gets angrier and starts yelling at Chris. Chris backs down.
*Kacey is really pushing the topic of rape on Chris; Chris sounds uncomfortable. Chris: "I have never personally been raped. I would definitely be offended if I was."
*Chris talks about ''[[Family Guy]]''/''Cleveland Show'', says that ''American Dad'' is bad.
*Chris keeps talking about Meg from ''Family Guy'', saying that she's really hot. Kacey says as much as possible to piss Chris off in regards to Meg.
*Chris is STILL talking about Meg and wanting to bang her. Kacey calls Meg fat.
*Chris ignores any [[homosexual]] part of ''Family Guy''. Gets pretty angry when Kacey keeps talking about how ''Family Guy'' is pro-homo.
*Chris stopped drinking various types of soda because he started to associate them with gay people.
*Kacey says that no gay man would ever be into Chris because he's not clean enough. This actually upsets Chris.
*Kacey asks if gay people have ever hit on him before. He says over the [[Internet]] it's happened.
*Chris claims he's been hit on a few times by girls back in middle school, ever since he left high school it hasn't happened because every single woman is taken by a guy already.
*Chris says that he has good [[fashion]] sense.
*Kacey says that the idea of being a "house husband" will make girls think that Chris is gay.
*Kacey acts like a man-hating bitch who thinks it's ok for women to be a stay-at-home parent but not men. Chris let's out many stress sighs.
*Kacey says Chris needs to be more manly. Chris takes this to mean that he needs to take male hormone pills.
*Kacey tells Chris to go clean his room and says she has to leave.

==Transcript==
'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey. How are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kacey, I'm ok. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good. So whats uh- up with you? I mean, I haven't talked to you in awhile, I have been so busy.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I kinda figured that. Yeah, a lot has been going on. Uhmm... Where do I begin? Shoot, when was the last time we talked?
 '''Kacey:''' A couple of days ago.
 '''Chris:''' A couple of days ago... Mmm... Alright well ok well I guess I'll start with something good, yeah? Uhh... yeah yesterday I took my uh, over to the first of uh, my uh relationship management classes. I think I told you about that?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''' Do we - I signed up for that class - I am saying I took the first one yesterday - I took the first one yesterday at - I guesstimate or -or- say the day before yesterday - No. It's after midnight, it's not Monday, it's Saturday. Anyway, yeah, Saturday morning I went to my first class and uhh -it - it was good. Uhhh- learned that first step in a matching your relationship is learning about your self so... So uh mu- So it was basically was three of us. I mean a teacher and uh- and another student woman named Elizabeth about-
 '''Kacey:''' Well aren't those classes for people that are actually in relationships?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, not necessarily, it could be considered- I mean- I mean, I was single and I was able to sign up for it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well-But I mean, I mean they are not going to discriminate but... don't they teach you material that goes after the relationship?
 '''Chris:''' Umh- Uh, They gave us some material even before the relationship like you know how to talk- How to uh... how to so- How to better socialize and uh... talk to woman and what not. It's sorta like [[Dating Education]].
 '''Kacey:''' Mkay. So what have you learned?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Yeah I learned- Yeah I learned a little bit. Uh... I learned quite a bit... Mmm... yeah, It seems like s-although it was like - Although -You know like- I have had coping classes before in middle and high school so this one was kinda similar to that one in a way- in a few ways. We did a few- we did a few worksheets filling in a little bit some information about uh- ourselves, our teachers did workshe-did our- did our worksheets along with us. A total of five people signed up for the class, but uh- but ya know three of them didn't make it. So... it was just like three of us Saturday, anyway yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, what kind of things were on the work sheets?
 '''Chris:''' Uhm... Yea-You know like uh... you know like a one or- a few- a yes few little - few questions like you know like- like you know- You could- rate how good you feel about your self or uh... or how are seen or like you see or you know how people see us a good friend or if you a little bit of confidence- err - if you have a little confident or even a few questions that were like in reversed this morning, like do you -do you know- do you sometimes feel lonely or sometimes doubt your self. But anyway, but like- In a possible 30 so - and I got 27. The teacher and Eliz- The teacher, her name was Wandea. Yeah Wandea and Elizabeth they each - they both- they each got 29 our of 30. Yeah, I mean- it's just a couple of things like sometimes like- I did have lonely nights um...and like you know I have a few concerns about how other people see me you know, like people over the internet, you know, some like me some don't like me so-
 '''Kacey:''' Yo- You didn't talk about the trolls, did you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Only a little bit... I mean I did not go into details, just, you know, I had a bunch of people badmouth me, so... Yeah, was just basically it was a contribution with that, but yeah- wasn't them- eh- this wasn't about the trolls anyway. Uh- I talked enough and we also, like you know, anyways, like you know when we evaluate ourselves we need to essentially... It was like we were accentuating on the positives, so... You know- a know- an- on- Among the other two worksheets we talked about, like you know uh- summin- like you know, you filled in what each of us liked... a-our likes and uh- dislikes and uh... about like- and like uh... what we would like- what we would like to be or what we are l- what each of us are looking forward to... Yeah, and then- and then in the future classes we'll be learning about uh... How to better communicate with uh- other people... and uh- and the like... and associating, co-
 '''Kacey:''' What do you think this class is going to do for you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I think it'll- I think it'll help me uh... maybe- I think it'll help- I think it'll help me feel a little bit more confident about myself, maybe, and uh- give me more- give me more things to- give me a better understanding of what to say when I talk to uh- women- when I talk to women in public or... Well, you know that sorta thing.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you know confidence comes from within. A class can't give it to you.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, but ye- yeah, before uh- 'fore... Yeah, I mean I'm not sure- I mean- but I'm... I think it's fairly obvious that for a while I've had like uh... quiet- quite a bit of low self-esteem.
 '''Kacey:''' Hm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Hm. Anyway, I think a- I think after- I think after these classes I'll uh- feel- I'll feel a little better about myself and I'll feel more confident and uh- ma- and possibly better socialize in my adult life and... feel better about appoint- approaching women and talking to th- an' talking to them...
 '''Kacey:''' [sigh] Okay, well, anything else about the relationship class?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Only that, like you know, we're hoping that the other three students will co- will-will-will-we'll-we'll be seeing them next class.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' That- and that uh- the next class will be on the uh- twenty-fourth of October... Oh, and also I learned that, like, you know- you know the relationship class is one thing among the uh- Parks and Recreation program here in Charlottes- in Charlottesville... Uh- yeah, but also I got a calendar of events, apparently there's like a little Halloween party over at the uh- Key Center near the Downtown Mall, so I'll be- so I'm probably going to that. Not sure what I'm going to dress up as, though. And uh-
 '''Kacey:''' What did you say was going on in October, I'm sorry? For the class?
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I said that the last class will be on October twenty-fourth, and then I got a calendar of events... wi- I th- learned there's going to be a Halloween party over at the Key Center dear the Downtown Mall, so I'm planning on going to that, but I'm not sure what I'm going to dress up as yet.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Kim's- I talked to Kim about that a little bit earlier, uh- she suggested I make up a Sonichu costume, but I don't se-
 '''Kacey:''' I actually was about to suggest that. I mean why not?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I-
 '''Kacey:''' You can stretch your creative muscles.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'm just not sure about uh- wanting to make a costume at this time, but you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, but what better way to promote it and show that it's yours?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, but... Yeah, anyway, I just- it depends on how I feel and I'll think about it further and iffan... If I decide to make the costume, I will.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean w- you should be more driven to do these things. I mean obv- or obviously Sonichu is not that important.
 '''Chris:''' Well, Sonichu ''is'' important... to me. Just I got so many fat- factors in life I, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but this is gonna be great PR!
 '''Chris:''' Like, you know, I got- I'm going to try s- trying to socialize in real life, for one thing and trying- and another thing trying to not think about the trolls and keep my distance from the computer, so I don't have to listen to them and ignore their incoming phone calls... [sigh] Lotta stuff. But yeah, I'm still working on the comics and the uh- CWCipedia and all that. Oh, I got- and also the uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, and how about your room? You still working on your room?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm still working on my room.
 '''Kacey:''' You should send me some pictures of progress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I will. Yeah, by the way, also I uh- called up uh- Target earlier today uh- try- tried looking for... Melissa, one of the two women who interviewed me uh- She wasn't in, so I a- so I left a message asking for her to call me back. I should probably hear from her on Monday or Tuesday... Uh- today or tomorrow. Depends on-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, good luck with that.
 '''Chris:''' Depends on when she comes in, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely. Um, do you think you got the job? 'Cause I don't think we've talked about it since it actually happened.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, I mean I think I felt that I did good at the interview and that uh- I feel... that I left a good impression on hm... and uh- I felt the sense of a... and uh- feeling like, you know... and perceiving me as a friendly type person.
{{transcription}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ixzcy3c9z2ovpk5 mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 21]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 23]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

100 2278

2010-11-26T06:50:22Z

Reversed cliche:

[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|Chris struggles even to hold on to the bar.]]
'''100 2278''' is a video [[Chris]] created on 12 [[October 2010]], leaked on 6 [[November 2010]]. Chris attempts to do pull-ups, but shortly after beginning, gives up and admits defeat due to his [[obesity|weight]]. This event marks a historic day in CWC history as it is the first time we have witnessed Chris acknowledge that he is not, in fact, super human.

__TOC__
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2278
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XWTsHUjAwl8}}
| stardate = 6 [[November 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[ToJackie]]
| next = [[100 2357.MOV]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''We see Chris's hands and knees on top on a jungle gym.'']

[''Chris hangs from a bar, not far off the ground for a few seconds before losing his grip and dropping to the ground.'']

[''Chris grunts, tries to grab the bar again.'']

Chris: Ugh...

[''Looks to the camera.'']

Chris: Alright fine, I can't do a pull up. At least I tried.

[''Jumps up and tries to grab the bar again.'']

Chris: Still tryin'.

[''Grunting sounds.''] Well, can't do it.

[''Tries to do a pull-up again with visibly shaking arms, grunts and sighs.'']

Chris: Uh... Too sensitive for my... [''sound of slapping belly''] weight.

[''Chris walks off camera.'']

==Images==
Accompanying the leaked video were a selection of images, presumed to be ones Chris took for [[Jackie]].
<center><gallery>
File:100_2242.JPG|The corner of Chris's room, with famous artifacts such as [[The Wall of Originals]], the [[Sailor Moon]] poster of Straightening, the [[Gitar of Fail]], and the [[fanbase|fan]] favorite, the [[The Simpsons#Marge poster|Marge poster]].
File:100_2243.JPG|The other corner has bunch of consoles. Clearly arranged in order of importance, otherwise he wouldn't put the [[wikipedia:Commodore 1541|Commodore 1541]] disk drive on open and hide the [[Nintendo|Wii]] among the junk.
File:100_2244.JPG|The [[McIntire Park]] sign.
File:100_2245.JPG|The table with Legos, also carrying Transformers and Sonic toys. Also a boatload of video tapes, CDs, magazines, yet another Gitar, and ironically a box or book cover whose only visible words are "the hidden".
File:100_2246.JPG|A view of the window and the chair, with too much junk to count.
File:100_2247.JPG|DVD shelves, a bunch of folders undoubtedly containing much the original hand-artery drawings of Sonichu comics, [[My Little Pony|My Little Ponies]], and in case you forgot this was Chris's room, two more Gitars of Fail.
File:100_2248.JPG|Game shelf meets the DVD shelf.
File:100_2249.JPG|The doorway that leads to sweet freedom ([[Tour of Chris's House|which is a lie]]). Giant game shelves. and the mysterious blinking light ball featured in many videos.
File:100_2250.JPG|A bit of the Sulking Couch beside the door and PSP/DS game shelf. Letter box labeled "current and important". Two posters for mass debation, and a badass chain or something.
File:100_2251.JPG|More video tapes and toys beside the Sulking Couch. Noticeable failure at photographing the Sonic trinket.
File:100_2252.JPG|Back to the first corner with the Wall of Originals and Marge poster.
File:100_2253.JPG|Female martial artists are awesome! ...Except that's not a martial arts move. And that's not a female either. We've been duped!
File:100_2296.JPG|Now with extra [[Plush Breasts of Fail|boobage]]
File:100_2299.JPG|'''TITTY MONSTER'''
File:BeatSketcher20101012.png|Has Chris been improving his art during the dry spell? '''[[Chris and art|SPOILER: NO]]'''
File:ccsonichu.jpg|Chris's [[Chris-chan Sonichu|fursona]], from [[ECV 00002]]
</gallery></center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Private Chris Chan, U.S.M.C. Maggot
| video = {{#ev:youtube|F39Q8GS0z8M}}
| Stardate = 7 November 2010
| Maker = MiHiVidz
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chan's Dream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rwGzjMECCAw}}
| Stardate = 8 November 2010
| Maker = raoulduke138
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

== External links ==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?8ca48v808ae5m0p Download archive]
* [http://goo.gl/AeGkP Mirror]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ToJackie]]|nextlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]}}

{{LeakedVideos}}
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

CWC's Second Message

2010-09-30T05:41:08Z

Reversed cliche: Fixed baseball reference

After months of trying to either ignore or edit the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, [[Chris]] explodes with fury in this video. He blames ED for causing his falling-out with [[Megan]], although anyone with a brainstem could tell that had occurred months before ED had ever heard of him.

Chris also begins threatening to withhold the release of [[Sonichu 7]] and all further comics unless the ED page is removed. Naturally, trolls were terrified that they would never see the conclusion to the absorbing story that Chris had created, and rushed to meet his demands. Oh, wait. No, they didn't. That was a [[lie]]. But can you imagine?

This is a beloved classic in the CWC canon, and it was in this video that Chris coined the term "[[pedofork]]."

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC's Second Message
| image = {{#ev:youtube|1XmuUP8Z7r4}}
| Stardate = 03 [[August 2008]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Homos|text}}, {{Comics|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| Saga = {{ED|text}}
| Shirt = {{RedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Chris_Chan's_Public_Announcement#Watch|Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]
| next = [[Attention_All_Sonichu_Fans_(NOT_HATERS)#Watch|Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]
}}

{{quote|I am not a [[pedofork]], you dorks!}}

===Transcript===

''Citizens of the [[Internet]]'': I present an open message to each and every one of you.

[[Chris and his ego|Y'all should know me by now]], but, if you don't, I am [[Christian Weston Chandler]], ''the'' original creator of [[Sonichu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], back on March 17th, [[2000]]. Any dates earlier are void. I present this open message because I have a whole bunch of people on the Internet [''removes [[glasses]] dramatically''] give me hate…—show me a lot of hate... and I do not appreciate it. Ticks me off.

You think you can just… hate me just to get a laugh out of yourself. Think about it. You're laughing at somebody else's pain and torture, because I am lonesome, still trying to find a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] and to make into a [[sweetheart]]. Y'all think I'm just a sap, a chump, dumbass, whatever you may think. But you know what? You… ''you!'' Every last one of you, who has sh—expressed hate against me? ''You're'' the shitheads!

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|120px|Chris at age 70, if his cholesterol would allow him to live that long]]

Also, every last one of you who thinks that I am similar to that—of that senile old man in ''[[Family Guy]]''… ''you're'' the [[pedophiles]]. Every one of you who thinks I'm [[homo]] and calls me that—because I am not; I'm ''straight''! I'm ''straight''!—''you’re'' the homos! Every last one of you!

I could—I could take the whole time to express so much ''anger'' and frustration. I'm only nearsighted; I do wear glasses. [''replaces glasses on face''] Take it or leave it, losers! [''removes glasses dramatically (again)''] It m—it helps me see better… see more detail and more clear vision than any of you knuckleheads can put together out of your own ego that you so richly... [''begins awkwardly tapping PS3 controller''] consume of.

But… on a more serious note: learning recently of the false—or real—literature, with downloaded… ''copies'' of my comic pages and whatnot. It has been either distributed or created ''without'' my consent or approval. So... it ''is'' a fake... and if it ever is published, or if it ever shows profit, let it weigh on your consciousness throughout your eternal life… that you are torturing and—worse off—tearing the heart, and soul, and emotions of the innocent man. The out—the innocent—still 26-year-old [''slams arms down on chair’s arms''] ''virgin''. Not only that, but I have so many lonely nights and stress… that you can not just imagine it!

Now, as for the other serious note: of any new stuff officially made by me, under my own… hands… ''not'' by anybody else's, which are considered ''false''. I just have not been feeling the inspiration to draw—to color! Because the loneliness…—I cannot stand that. The hatred I'm getting from every last one of you who has contributed to that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] web page… and every other forum, Internet document, lewdly drawn pictures with… ''dicks''…—I love ''dykes!'' ''Dykes!'' ''[[China|CHINA]]!'' I'm ''straight!'' If I ever—if I see a dick, I just look away, with a moment of being freaked out! [''makes arm gesture for “safe!”'']

[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|right|200px|"She has come for me"]]

''And'' e-mailing me pictures is not gonna get any of you any further conclusion to “Will [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] get out of [[Dark Mirror Hole|the mirror]]?”, “Will the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] be collected?”, “Will I ''ever'' find my [[sweetheart]]?” ''And'' am I—am I or [[Megan Schroeder]] still an item—” which by the way, she broke up with me so much long ti—so much long ago because the contributors to that ED page… you broke the emotional streng—strength between us. You promoted such twists and turns to everything I have said [''begins tapping PS3 controller against his hand to count the offenses''] and drawn and written and ''whatnot''… You broke up the best friendship, the best relationship, the ''closest'' I could ever have in this ''pitiful adult life!'' ''You'' did it! Every last one of you! If I could blame myself, I would definitely blame myself for drawing [[Rule 34|those ''five'' pictures]]! Those five drawings! And, by the way, that is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; [''covers eyes with one hand momentarily''] that is ''Megan!'' And just for—and just for—for taking it up—and twisting it around and such!

Think about it. ''Think about it!'' Weigh it on your conscience! Because nothing—no more official Sonichu art or work may—or may not—ever emerge… depending on the amount of hate that is decreased! That web page: ''taken off the Internet''! I wish I'd never found that piece of ''shit'' in the first place, back on that Halloween of [[2007|’07]], somewhere around there. And promoting the hatred, and… drawing such loose—such ''lucrid'' mockeries is ''not'' gonna further the story plot or have anything new created, or even gonna help in any way… as I am telling you this, right into my [[PSEye|PlayStation Eye]]!

[''sighs deeply''] If I ever do find the one that is to be my sweetheart, I will give her such care, such tenderness, such love… we get around to the [[Chris and sex|hanky-panky]], that's fine, that's good… we get married. I will have my God-create—my [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]! She will be taken care of… lovingly. Those of you mock me otherwise, with such ''frivolous, lucrid adultery''… if I ever hear another—any more new stuff, it will weigh on your conscience, with me ''tearing at your souls''… emotionally! Let ''that'' weigh on your conscience, for those of you who have already done so or are thinking about doing it!

I am not a ''[[pedofork]]'', you ''dorks''!

[''sighs''] I tell ya… so much anger, so much stress… it's hard to see straight. Let that, the result of all that you have contributed against me, weigh heavily like a 10,000-pound anvil! "Sixteen tons, whadd'ya get? Another day older and deeper in debt!" [''pronounces the b in “debt”'']

[[Chris and religion|If I was not a baptized man]] over at the [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Methodist church]] by the [[University of Virginia]], I'd tell every last one of you that contributed to the hatred and downpour, "Go to hell." But I can—but I would not even weigh that upon my worst enemy, because that—because [[Twin Falling Towers|I am more kind than ya think]]. Y'all just do not see that; y'all just twist my words around. [''clears throat''] I do not wish to see any more hatrey or adult mockery, and I want that Encyclopedia Dramatica page taken down forever! It will weigh heavily on your conscience each day that it is ''still'' up there.

[''replaces glasses on face''] I leave you with any other thoughts that you ''may'' have. But if you ''dare'' twist ''these'' words around, that will weigh ''worse'' on your conscience. The words that ''I'' provide from sound mind and ''heart''… it will weigh heavily on you.

It will weigh ''heavily'' on you.

== Fan videos ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Metal Love Solid: Portable Jerkops
| video = {{#ev:youtube|p03W5ElzdGI}}
| Stardate = 6 August 2008
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Creator of the Internet
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hxN_TCywHPg}}
| Stardate = 15 September 2008
| Maker = Jawsusfreak777
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sgt. Autism.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jeSovLPzVFA}}
| Stardate = 22 September 2008
| Maker = xjrlol
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan's Message To CHINA!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5vPj14MDJVE}}
| Stardate = 14 January 2009
| Maker = CWCLovesPickles
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Vanilla Chris - "Dykes Dykes China"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Br-yK7nbHuk}}
| Stardate = 14 March 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Christian Chandler (CWC) Presents: A Music Remix from [[Kacey|my New Gal-Pal]].
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1CHjLvHSe3Q}}
| Stardate = 5 June 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Ringo Chris - "Christian Chandler: Lonesome Heart Soul Man (Reprise)"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|L79PdhpQKr8}}
| Stardate = 8 September 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]|nextlink=[[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2008-08-03]]