CWCki - User contributions [en]

Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)

2023-03-17T11:22:04Z

RoseSparrow: /* In the comic */

{{Wise|pre-Tomgirl Chris is a separate, evil counterpart controlled by Nazis, responsible for the [[unheroic protagonist actions]] depicted, and tried to abolish women's rights.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Comic CWC.PNG|200px|center]] [[File:New Comic CWC.png|200px|center]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 24 February [[Sonichu chronology#1982|1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male, later Female
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob Chandler#In Sonichu|Bob Chandler]] [[Barbara Chandler#In Sonichu|Barbara Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Species'''
| Human (can transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Mayor of CWCville (until ''Sonichu'' #11)
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
|-
|}

[[Image:CWC collage.jpg|thumb|left|Chris is a master of consistency.]]
'''Christian Weston Chandler''' is a character and technically the main protagonist of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. Within the comic universe, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] has not opted to portray himself as a [[Obesity|fat slob]] [[Chris and work|who refuses to work]]; rather he is the respected creator of [[CWCville]], "father" of hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and a deific character beloved by all.

Despite the sub-episodes in which he appears ostensibly concerning the real Chris, he can't seem to keep from invoking superpowers and fictitious plot contrivances.

In December 2014, it was revealed that, just like his real-life counterpart, Comic Chris has become [[Transgender]] and goes by the name '''Christine Weston Chandler'''.

==In the comic==
[[Image:Chris0.jpg|thumb|<s>Chris's most accurate self portrait</s> [[Sammy|Try this.]]]]
[[Image:CWCFlex.jpg|thumb|Definitely not this one.]]
[[Image:Cwcanatomy.JPG|thumb|left|Anatomical analysis of the character, based on [[Chris and art|Chris's first illustrative depiction of himself]].]]
Chris depicted himself as Mayor (only stopping as of February 2017, when the [[Allison Amber|new mayor]] was mentioned) of his fictional town, [[CWCville]]. Unlike real life, comic-Chris is popular, good-looking ([[Chris and art|notionally speaking]]), and surrounded by adoring women (whose real-life counterparts are generally [[trolls]], [[Gal pal|gal-pals]] who [[Megan Schroeder|hate him]], or fictional creations like [[Allison Amber|Allison Amber]]). He also has the ability to change himself into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] and use any and all of the powers of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] at will, thus rendering Sonichu and company completely superfluous.

[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|A typical comic depiction of Chris – a tall, broad shouldered, handsome young man. Compare to the real hunched, fatty, double-chinned Chris.]]
Any characteristics comic Chris possess stem from Chris's attempt to portray himself as the lovable loser type of character, known from any generic romantic comedy. He is portrayed as noble, brave, intelligent, and surrounded by cartoon characters who fawn over him. However, so as not to appear to be a COMPLETE Mary Sue, comic-Chris also has trouble with [[Love Quest|finding a girlfriend]], is shown to have a limited ability to fight off his [[Manajerks|enemies]], and is regularly in need of help from his supportive friends in order to overcome his problems. In the comic, real-life relics like his [[Medallions of Fail|medallion]] are not mere paraphernalia – they're magical objects which can make his [[China|dreams come true]].

He is of course the creator of CWCville, complete with a doting [[Allison Amber|secretary]], now [[February 2017 Facebook Posts#CWCville is a sanctuary city|heiress to the CWCville legacy]], on whom he dumps all his [[Semen|dirty work]], which she takes with a smile. However, his actual role relative to the citizens of his city is closer to god-king than mere creator; his office was permanent and indisputable during his time in it, and every character reveres him as their creator and supreme being, and is unswervingly loyal to him for no reason. If it weren't totally obvious, Chris's comic persona is a pure wish-fulfilment Mary Sue. Because Chris has trouble [[Chris and reality|defining the line between reality and fiction]], added with his compulsive knack to cling onto [[Honor Roll|anything]] that would justify him as a person, Chris tends to view his achievements in the comic as genuine achievements, and held the title of Mayor of CWCville when addressing himself.

Sonichu is the main character of his self-titled comic in name only. While all the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] tend to make up an ensemble cast with equal weight on the story, if there is any true lead protagonist to the series, then it is Chris. The comic's narrative focuses on him and the problems he has to deal with, and virtually everything in the world of CWCville only seems to matter in relation to Chris (much like the real world). Towards the end of the initial run of Sonichu, Chris began to feel that the focus on his trolls and personal problems were distracting the series from its original purpose, and created [[Sonichu 10]] to wrap up his storylines in the most gruesome, violent but satisfying way possible, supposedly to let his character retire in a blaze of glory.

Prior to appearing in ''Sonichu'' #11, Chris updated his in-comic incarnation to reflect his transgenderism in 2014, with the resulting design looking even less like his real self than he did before transitioning. He draws himself as a complete female, with a feminine shape (relative to the featureless rectangles he generally uses for bodies, that is) and breasts. His [[hair]], greasy, thin and receding in real life, is full and feminine. As is customary, his [[heterochromia]] is hugely exaggerated and he is intended to look attractive. That being said, he still drew himself fucking Sonichu in the ass with his [[Duck]] at the request of the [[Idea Guys]], ostensibly to ensure that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|GodBear-given daughter]] comes into this world, so at best, this iteration of the character is intersex.

===Atrocities===
''See also: [[List of unheroic protagonist actions]]''

Predictably, Chris's creation of a world in which he is god results in even more insane behavior than is exhibited his real-life counterpart, primarily due to him (and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|superpowered goons]]) possessing the power to actually carry out his [[Death threats|threats]] in a controlled environment where he can (attempt to) portray himself as morally superior.

In only 11 issues (including 4 specials), he permanently crippled [[Liquid Chris|someone]] [[Megatron Pistol|by]] [[Sonichu Special 4|shooting]] him in the legs after he'd surrendered, [[Sonichu #0|completely destroyed the life]] of a [[Jerkhief|man]] who was simply doing his job and then callously mocking him by saying that [[Chris and his ego|''he'd'']] suffered worse, destroyed a populated building which he had sealed up beforehand to ensure no living thing escaped and later tried to blame it on the building's lackluster security, broke into [[Mary Lee Walsh|an old woman]]'s home and brutally attacked her to the extent of causing permanent paralysis, directly ordered the murder of over 1500 people in the self-perpetrated destruction of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, orchestrated a purging of [[Homos|homosexual]]s and asexuals, and arranged a [[Sonichu #10|show trial]] for [[Asperpedia Four|four men]] in an openly biased court, before personally executing them in brutal and inhumane ways – forcing [[Kel|chil]][[Sandy Rosechu|dren]] to commit first-degree murder in the process – for the crime of making a [[Asperchu|parody webcomic]].

It should be noted that Chris's avatar undertakes all of these activities with self-righteous euphoria, and offers no justification, nor does he display any remorse.

===[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]===

Right from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] Chris is depicted on the front cover commanding Sonichu to "Zap to the extreme!", and within the comic itself, congratulating Sonichu for his victory. At this point, Chris is drawing himself only semi-realistically, but he is still a minor character. ''Sonichu'' #0 is one of the rare issues that is actually based primarily around the idea of Sonichu as the protagonist.

===[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]===

''Sonichu'' #1 is perhaps Chris's lowest-key outing in the entire comic, merely depicting himself commenting on the actions of the characters, and, bizarrely, his own [[Chris and art|drawing ability]].

===[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]===

Having again drawn himself on the cover, by ''Sonichu'' #2 Chris has turned himself into a fully-fledged main character. Chris depicts himself as the messiah of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] foretold by his [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|ancestors]]. It is in this issue that he first gains his ability to turn into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], an event which will dominate the rest of the series to the point of [[Sonichu]]'s redundancy.

===[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]===

After being heavily featured in the previous comic, Chris takes a back seat in order to put a spotlight on the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Sadly, he still can't resist adding his head onto the first page.

===[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]===

The legendary comic made entirely up of sub-episodes about Chris's life. Things get a little confusing because not only are the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] depicted as existing in Real Chris's universe, but he also has super-powers with which to battle the [[Jerkop]]s. Again, Chris is depicting himself with selfless friends and powers he wished he actually had, but doesn't. And all the powers and Pokémon in the world still don't stop him getting beaten by the Jerkops or being trolled by [[Hanna]]. This comic also marks the introduction of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], his imagined sister, [[Chris and Sex#Incest|on whose beauty he remarks numerous times]].

[[Image:Chris5.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Manga Chris is so kawaii! Uguu~...]]

===[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]===

Real Chris, distraught at discovering [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] – a long-standing love interest of his – is getting married, depicts himself as a noble gentleman who only wants what's best for her. Of course, in reality, Sarah couldn't have cared less what Chris thought of the wedding, [[Chris and his Ego|but Chris felt that showing his acceptance was vitally important]]. An interpretation could be made that Chris is battling the two versions of himself – the side who wants Sarah all to himself (Real Chris, played by [[Wes Iseli]]) and the side who wants Sarah to be happy (Comic Chris). It probably helped that by this point Chris had transferred his feelings for Sarah over to [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], who makes her début appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]], allowing him to make the noble choice a lot easier than it would have otherwise been.

This comic also introduces the pseudo-manga art style (thanks a lot, Megan) that would come to characterize later comics. While the art doesn't get ''better'', it at least becomes comparatively more consistent than it did previously.

By the next episode, things starts to get confusing. Yes, Chris is Mayor of [[CWCville]] and can order around public servants, but he still can't find a [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend]]. Despite this, he continues to depict himself as a noble warrior of [[China|love]], protecting all of [[Virginia]] from [[Mary Lee Walsh|those who would to take it away]].

===[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]===

''Sonichu'' #6 is the first issue to go into detail about how Comic Chris manages to run a city while sitting around getting [[Hanna|trolled]]. Opening with Real Chris discovering that his beloved dog [[Patti Chandler]] can talk, the action soon switches to Comic Chris as they enter CWCville. Chris introduces [[Patti-Chan]] to Allison Amber, a Hollywood starlet who inexplicably gave up her promising career to run CWCville while Chris was sitting in his [[Attraction Location|attraction locations]]. This character is indicative of how Chris portrays himself as so charismatic that young women drop everything to do his bidding. He is the "Big Cheese". Either way, fictional Allison Amber has a boyfriend, so Chris loses out in his own comic yet again.

Comic Chris spends the rest of the comic bemoaning his loneliness, and making bizarre and scarcely-comprehensible "hints" that [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] is his true [[sweetheart]]. Even in comic form, Megan wants none of this.

===[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]===
[[Image:Chris7.jpg|thumb|Chris as depicted in [[Issue 7|''Sonichu'' #7]].]]
[[Image:Chrisandsammy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Sammy]] together.]]
[[Image:Set1pic2.jpg|thumb|Comic Chris as of 2014.]]

The megalomania begins on the cover, which is decorated with tiny pictures of the important moments of Chris's life, such as the time he held a basketball or tricked Megan into being photographed with him.

The comic itself revolves around Comic Chris and Megan, who is depicted as struggling with her feelings for Chris (in reality, at this point, she hated him). The comic at this point was being used as a tool to attract Megan, so much of the extraneous action is centered on the dating life of the [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] as a (barely) veiled hint as to what direction their friendship should take. The courting of Megan is also why it's the most manga-esque issue to date, which in turn results in Chris's self-depictions being hugely inconsistent in style.

This issue is also notorious for its introduction of [[Sammy]]. Intended to be a bumbling, Peter Griffin-type counterpart to Comic Chris, Sammy is extremely stupid, [[Obesity|massively overweight]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits his pants]], which results in a far greater resemblance to the real Chris than Comic Chris has ever had.

Halfway through making this comic Chris was being trolled relentlessly, so he responded by trapping himself in the [[Time Void]], and thus removing himself from the direct action in the comic... A measure that would not last very long.

===[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]===
Unable to keep himself completely out of the action, Chris somehow emerges temporarily from the Time Void on the 10th floor in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in order to physically assault an employee who is working on a caricature of the [[The Oversized Drinking Straw|over-sized drinking straw]] picture, while [[Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu]] cheer him on in unison. Chris disappears immediately afterward.

===[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]===
Even though Chris remains trapped in the Time Void, he can't resist including himself substantially in this issue. The first time he shows up is during [[Ivy]]'s "vision" portraying her being with Chris as told by [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]]. The second time is at the end of the comic. In the scene, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Wild Sonichu]] discover the [[Time Void]] and end up pulling Chris out of it. Fifteen minutes later, Chris, as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], unveils some sort of plan (which isn't elaborated) and he races off. On the final page, Chris declares that he, and anyone he created out of his sweetheart search misadventures, will never show up in the pages of his comic again... though the last page presumes that it'll continue in ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''.

===[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]===
Despite the announcement at the end of the previous issue, Chris's character returns and immediately places himself in the middle of the spotlight. During the time this issue was being drawn, Chris was boiling with [[Chris and anger|rage]] and [[Death threats|crying for the blood]] of [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Clyde Cash]], [[Evan|and]] [[Asperpedia|every]] [[Alec Benson Leary|other]] [[troll]] and for the [[Christian Love Day|"straightening out"]] of [[homosexual]] [[JERK|males]] due to all the gay ads in his [[CWCipedia]]. As such, whatever small narrative restraints Comic Chris had possessed have been extinguished, and the character acts purely as a mouthpiece (and avenging fist) for his creator.

At the beginning of the comic Chris discusses the future, wherein he is to be married to a woman named [[Lovely Weather]] and, since he slept with her, he is no longer a virgin. Apparently, homosexuality is such a big problem in the future that Chris was also asked by future scientists to donate some of his "straight" blood so they could use it for a vaccine. Chris, however, hoping to employ it on the homos in the present, sends Magi-Chan back to the future to steal a crate of the vaccine. This is contrary to the time-travel logic he established in "Time Hogs", wherein it is assumed that time is in flux and cannot be altered.

Chris moves on to fight some devil trolls who had infested his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|old website]], and then he attacks and destroys 4-cent_garbage.com leaving a hundred people dead in the process, including Jack Thaddeus and Clyde Cash, who are forced to commit suicide.

[[File:Christinecomicdrawing.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris during his ''[[Sonichu 11|"physical transformation"]]''. Note that Chris's redesign bears far less resemblance to how he looks now than the original design ever did.]]

Chris is then attacked by [[Naitsirhc]], but Chris eventually gets the upper hand and tries out the gay vaccine on him. After Naitsirhc turns back into his old incarnation, Chris declares the vaccine a success, and gives the order to pollute all the drinking water in the world with it, effectually eradicating homosexuality, along with asexuality.

[[Meg Griffin]] of all people suddenly turns up and claims to be a fan of [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], much to Chris's pleasure. After beating up some random guy who called Meg "sir" and Chris "madam", he cheats on Lovely Weather by making out with her, after her confirming that she is consensual. Unbeknownst to Chris, Meg is really [[Silvana Rosechu]] in disguise, and Chris has therefore been trolled.

Once again Chris takes the time to apologize without really apologizing, this time with a babbling insincere speech to the homosexuals who might have been offended by the fact that he just committed something comparative to genocide against them. With that out of the way, Chris takes out the [[Sonichu Balls]] and transforms into [[Collosal Chan]], and together with Sonichu, now transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]], sets out to "right some wrongs". Aside from the minor detail of getting [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] out of the mirror, [[Collosal Chan|Hobo Chan's]] main priority is getting rid of [[Asperchu]], which he does by breaking into Asperchu/Alec Benson Leary's house, fingerbanging his "[[Xbox|HEXBox Pavilion]]" to the breaking point and turning Asperchu and the rest of the comic cast into "improved" versions of themselves.

After this, Hobo-Chan fights [[Mary Lee Walsh]], leaving her completely paralyzed and sentenced to a lifetime in CWCville's maximum-security prison (killing her is out of the question after the [[Liquid Chris]] furore). After that, Chris reverts to his human form and gives a speech. Meanwhile, Simonla Rosechu is murdered, and the Asperpedia Four are arrested for the crime. And at the same times as Chris starts giving out blessings and apologies to the Asperpedia Four, they are subjected to a show trial for their crime against him and CWCville, and are then brutally executed by the Sonichus, with Chris partaking in Alec's execution by electrocution, and personally carrying out Mao's execution by ''tearing him apart'' with his psychic powers.

The huge issue finally concludes with Chris urging everyone to celebrate his masturbatory holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and leap and dance and sing praise in His name, for great is His wisdom and His benevolence. It truly is [[Chris and writing|his story]] and [[Chris and art|nothing less]].

===[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]===

[[File:CWC gets kicked.jpg|thumb|[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!| I KICK ME IN THE BALLS AGAIN!]]]]

Chris appears in Sonichu 11 near the end of "A Sonichu Christmas" as having transitioned into a woman in the time since the last issue. Chris is only drawn on one page, appearing in photographs on the subsequent pages, like in ''Sonichu'' #6. As the episode takes place in [[2008]], Chris is depicted as becoming "Christine" much sooner than in real life; this is confusingly explained by retconning the time travel plot so that Magi-Chan helped 2007-Chris to transition into a tomgirl in 2014 and then sent her back to 2007/08. Or something.

===[[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]===

Sonichu 12 marks the first time where Chris takes a major role in his new female form. He attended Cwcville's first Annual SLGBTQ along with his sister [[Crystal]], the hedgehogs, and his self-spawned children. After initially convincing Reldnahc, his still evil gay twin to quit with a textwall, he would find himself battling Reldnahc in their respective Sonichu form, with [[Cole Smithey]] brainwashed to the jerkops' cause. After sending his half-brother in to a pocket dimension, Reldnahc and Chris would find themselves locked in a battle in yet another pocket dimension. After defeating Reldnahc, revealed some of the jerkops are zombies and wonders if his evil twin can ever be befriended. Chris would end the episode with a tribute to his late [[Bob Chandler|father]] and claiming he is a reincarnation of a lesbian hippie who attended Woodstock.

===[[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]]===
In this ''Pony''-laden issue, Comic Chris appears in the form of the [[Christine Doll]] in Act 1. Chris also opts to insert his ''real-life self'' into the comic by means of using photographs, a technique that he has used in his webcomic before.

===[[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]]===
{{Incomplete}}
''Sonichu'' #13 sees the largest case of [[Chris and his ego|self-importance]] since ''Sonichu'' #10, focusing on how Chris became a goddess. Chris takes the role as the leader of CWCville in a war against [[Nazis]] and unsurprisingly pulls out a deus ex machina to fix timespace or some shit. It's important to note that issue 13 was written under the direction of the [[Idea Guys]] and as such should not be entirely interpreted as Chris's fantasies and warped view of the world. The comic is specifically orchestrated to bring misery to both the real-life and fictional Chris Chandlers, as exemplified in the scene in which Chris and Sonichu rape one another.

{{clear}}

==See also==
{{Fan art|chris=Chris_fan_art|linkname=Christian Weston Chandler}}
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Christian Weston Chandler]] – Chris IRL
*[[Chris-chan Sonichu|Chris-Chan Sonichu]] – his [[Patti-Chan|furry]] side
*[[Collosal Chan]] – his other furry side
*[[Night Star]] – his [[My Little Pony|Ponysona]]
*[[Christine Doll#In the comic|Christine Doll]] – his plastic side
*[[CPU Blue Heart]] – the personification of his [[Messiah complex|God complex]]
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] – his [[Silvana|feminine]] side
*[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] – his [[homos|homo]] side
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] – his [[Niggos|racist]] side
*[[Sammy]] – his much more [[Honest Content|honest]] self-portrait
{{Mayors of CWCville}}
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Pokémon and Pokémon Trainers]]

Chris and English

2023-01-19T14:08:17Z

RoseSparrow: /* Muddled-up proverbs */

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is...]]
[[Image:Englishfordummies.jpg|thumb|right|...nor [[Computer|this]].]]

{{quote|I No Socialize Online.|Chris's strangely appropriate [[PSN]] comment.}}

[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things he believes he's mastered, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>[https://archive.md/VFIwC :: Diagnostic Criteria for Autistic Disorder through the years]</ref> Chris often shows little regard for even the most informal standards of spelling, grammar, punctuation, vocabulary, and form. Additionally, he uses obscure constructs that may be grammatically correct, but are also unnecessarily wordy, confusing, semantically vague, or atypical. Other habits, such as his use of "y'all," "ain't," dropped G's (running pronounced runnin'), and double negatives, are clear markers of his [[Virginia|Southeastern]] regional accent. Still others are just plain nonsensical, at least without prior knowledge of his {{w|idiolect|idiolect}}.

Chris spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he's become older, presumably due to his increased isolation, which has affected his English in general, as well as his broader grasp on [[Chris and language|linguistic communication]].

==CWC-isms==
{{Main|CWC-isms}}
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading or listening will be able to understand exactly what he means. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]". He also tends to re-appropriate existing words and phrases, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[Semen|comeuppance]] isn't a fitting outcome for someone's deeds, and [[china]] isn't an [[Punchy Sonichu|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like the definite article "da", Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive desperately grasping for credibility. Other famous CWC-isms like "[[tobacky]]", "[[niggos]]", and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds [[Homos|repulsive]], so he is forced to come up with euphemisms for these terms, which range from [[Navy|confusing puns]] to changing a single letter in a word, barely altering it's pronunciation (i.e. niggos). The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[speech impediment]] and his accent to form an unholy trifecta that defines his speech. With the constant stream of half-words and repetition, it is sometimes difficult to understand what exactly he is talking about. Any resemblance to actual English is tenuous at best; the words he uses are English, but the structure is far from proper. The fact that his vocabulary is a bit lacking only compounds the situation.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it [[Chris and reality|illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe]]. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [''sic''] and sayings of the word will [[Chris and the law|ONLY LEGALLY]] be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, [[IRC (02 January 2009)]]}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound fancy and smart, but instead only makes him look like he doesn't know and/or cannot spell the word "instances". Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is staggeringly [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] given that, as aforementioned, he often ascribes his own, nonsensical meanings to existing words and phrases.

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly [[Chris and his Ego|how self-centered he is]]. While the whole purpose of language is to communicate thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn his vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech. His grammar is also, predictably, abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|fingering]] as "[[CWC-isms#O|outtercourse]]",<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between". (Incidentally, "outercourse" is an actual colloquialism meaning {{w|Non-penetrative sex|dry-humping}}, not fingering.) Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

Chris often misuses punctuation in many ways, with comedic results. In particular, he tends not to use hyphens when they're needed, but for some reason also add hyphens where they ''aren't'' needed, such as in his stock phrase "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]". Clearly he means that he wants to create a relationship from the "ground up". A literal interpretation, though, means he wants to create a girlfriend from something that's been ground up--coffee, cinnamon, pepper, etc. Another prominent example is him writing "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

Because Chris feels the need to type things precisely as he would say them, and worries that he will be misunderstood in print, he makes heavy usage of repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style, comparable to the style used in comic books and graphic novels, which have no doubt influenced him. He also tends to Capitalize Words At Random (a common literary trait among Autistics), especially Nouns and those which hold Importance to the sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to systematically understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying, similar to the Old Grammatical Laws of the Middle [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1800s]]. Also owing to his highly recitative manner of writing, he often adds letters to words to emphasize them. While this on its own is not something unique to Chris, most other people would write "sooo" instead of "so", for example. Chris, however, would only add one "o" to make "soo", which is rather amusing when read phonetically as it makes him sound like a stereotypical [[Tomgirl|effeminate]] [[Homos|homosexual]].

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON [[virgin|I have not had sex yet]] in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality Homosexuality] on CWCipedia</ref>}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like a child, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he'll often veer off topic in order to babble about [[Random-access humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading, or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences, and a copious amount of text in general (especially in the comics). A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would mean he's not telling the whole truth. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is.

Chris has demonstrated particular ineptitude in his usage of semicolons. Semicolons are usually used to connect two independent clauses together without a conjunction, and whatever succeeds a semicolon should be pertinent to whatever immediately preceded it. Chris, however, uses them to crudely string together two (or more) tangentially-related thoughts into a sentence that is consequently incoherent to anyone and which causes confusion as to what Chris even means in the first place. Chris also frequently misuses the semicolon in character dialogue, using it where he should use a full stop (period) or something else entirely.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", [[Rosechu]] is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "[[Bubbles Rosechu]]", "[[Angelica Rosechu]]", and recently introduced, "[[Lolisa Rosechu]]", of whom her Boyfriend, "[[Jamsta Sonichu]]", was the one who Interviewed [[Blanca]] and her [[Jiggliami]] on Radio Station, [[KCWC]].|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

It is well-known that Chris has trouble with simple spelling, as evidenced by all the "''{{w|sic}}''" tags scattered around the CWCki. Despite a myriad of other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He has many rigid, totally consistent habits which he never corrects, such as substituting "ein" for "eni", as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Similarly, "teir" is how Chris spells the word tier on his [[Patreon]] page.

[[File:Teir.png|thumb|150px|How Chris spells tier, one example of many on the page.]]

Chris often spells difficult words phonetically, like a grade-school child still learning literacy, for example spelling "caricature" as "characiture", rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling.

Long after fans discovered his comics, it was realized that the term "[[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]]" is supposed to be a pun, and not just another instance of Chris's butchery of the English language resulting from "u" and "i" being adjacent on the QWERTY keyboard, as most had originally assumed. This largely goes to show that Chris's ability to spell correctly is so noticeably poor that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes unnoticed for ''years''.

In 2014, when he started dating the British-affiliated [[Catherine]], Chris arbitrarily began to use British spellings, especially of the word "colour," since this was particularly relevant to his [[Sonic Boom Protests|protest du jour]]. By March 2015, he was still using these spellings, using the dumb excuse that he was of [[Daniel Weston|British ancestry]]. He has been observed to (inconsistently) use U.K. English spellings as recently as [[May 2022]] in [[Jail_Letter_-_11_May_2022|his letter]] to [[Kengle]] following his return to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]].

===Typos===
[[Image:Sonichu_Typos.jpg|thumb|left|More perfect spelling from <s>Mr.</s> [[Tomgirl|Miss]] Chandler.]]

The above spelling problem is only compounded by Chris's constant typos. The very first sentence on the first page of the comic contains the word "[[Sonichu 0|mies]]" in place of "miles". And even when he edits pages that contain these mistakes and has a chance to fix them, he invariably misses them a second time, like "[[Sonichu 7|dood]]" instead of "good" in issue seven.

The fact that these typos exist only goes to prove that Chris does not bother to proofread his works even a single time after completion and prior to uploading them to the Internet. And assuming that he has read his own comic at some point or another, and that someone '''must''' have drawn his attention to these mistakes at some point, the only logical conclusion is that Chris can not be bothered to go back and fix these typos even when he is aware of them.

Chris acknowledged these spelling mistakes in a [[July 2017 tweets#Improvement|tweet]] on [[July 2017]], claiming that the typos are "etched in history forever".

===Definitions and vocabulary===
Chris has a very bad habit of not knowing what he's talking about, and this is readily observable in his '''vocabulary''' – beyond the above [[CWC-isms]]. Chris still believes the word "[[naïve]]" means stupid, and thus hates being called it. Naïve, in simple terms, means "ignorance or gullibility because of a lack of experience". Therefore, this word accurately describes Chris because he doesn't do anything, and because of that he's gullible and ignorant. Another word Chris throws around with wild abandon is "slander". Chris constantly calls his [[ED]] page and the [[CWCki]] slanderous. Slander is defamation. Defamation is the destruction of reputation or character through manipulation of video, photographic, and audio evidence. Libel is like slander, but is defamation through writing.

There's two things wrong with Chris's use of slander. His ED page and the CWCki consist of more written material than videos, photographs and audio, so if it was anything it would be libel. The other is that the ED page and CWCki are neither slander nor libel, because nothing on them is manipulated and everything on them is [[True and Honest|true]], and backed up with evidence provided by none other than Chris himself.

Related to his choice of vocabulary, Chris has an issue with using terms that, while technically meaning similar things, have different tones. This is perhaps most evident in [[Sonichu 10]], where Chris uses the term "bearing false witness" multiple times. In the context Chris uses the term, he's simply using it as an alternate way of saying "lying" or "misrepresenting", as the Biblical term is often simplified when explaining the Ten Commandments to children. Chris fails to realize that the term is more or less exclusively associated with the Bible and using it when discussing himself makes the characters sound like they're referring to Chris as their god, although [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|this may have]] [[Ego|been intentional]]. Likewise, the Asperchu characters claim to have been forced to "make a false idol of the brown-shirted one" even though in Asperchu, the protagonists merely respect their creator, rather than worship him. Again, the use of Biblical terminology makes the whole thing seem even more narcissistic.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim, which does little except to gradually annoy whoever he's addressing. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "[[boyfriend-free girl]] to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up." This clunky phrasing is reiterated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He makes copious usage of his "joke" that "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as having "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump," notably in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]]. During the [[2008]] election, Bob joked to Chris that Obama would paint the White House black if he was elected. Chris [[Autism|seemed to take this literally]], incorporated the joke into [[Sonichu 8]], and even got his father to sign the page, and years later, he still occasionally talked about the former President repainting the White House.

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It is tempting to just blame his autism for this repetition, which is likely a factor; however, much like his life in general, not all of his failures at communication can be the product of his autism — other possibilities include that:
* Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so "successfully", he tends to reuse what he knows is (or believes to be) a working formula.
* Chris mistakenly thinks his peculiar constructions are funny and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one original joke]].
* Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones.
* Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

====Piecemeal language use====
Chris's phrase usage is a deep-seated issue, to the point that it's almost possible to imagine that he copies all of his phrases from ''somewhere'', even when he has not used the phrase previously. People usually learn idioms from other people when they hear them in an appropriate context, but though Chris may experience such a context, it will often fly straight over his head, and accordingly he has problems fully understanding the meaning of the phrase. Like most of us, he has obviously learned some phrases from the world around him, and he ''sort of'' understands what they mean and ''sort of'' uses them in the correct context. Despite this, it is as if he just learned the phrases, and, like some foreign English student, is making the first awkward steps towards using them properly. Unlike those curious foreigners, however, Chris is not worried about getting punched in the face by the natives for abusing beloved idioms.

To an outside observer, many of Chris's phrases almost always appear out of place and tacked on. This can manifest itself in even very small examples, such as in the video title "[[New Address]]"; the video isn't about any sort of an address change, as the phrase was intended to imply, but rather is an ''address'' to a specific individual, one that is ''newly released''. It is akin to a foreigner opening a phrasebook, finding the entry "New Address", and saying "OK, that is probably close enough--it has 'new' and 'address' in it."

For more blatant examples, in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris continually demands "Legal, Unmark[ed], Non-consecutive" bills to be mailed to him. He probably thinks it's the sort of thing people ''generally'' say when they want cash mailed to them, without realizing that he has picked this expression up from crime fiction where that kind of phrase is said as part of a ransom demand. Also, when listing his definitely ancient television on [[Craigslist]], he demands "CASH ONLY, And Up-Front. $250 or better offer; NO HAGGLE." which doesn't apply at all to something like an old TV, and directly contradicts his very own offer. Regarding "No haggle" or a "better offer", it is clear he has no clue what "haggle" even means. He most likely picked up the jargon from other entries on the site.<ref>See, for example, the note in ''The Big Lebowski'': "WE HAVE BUNNY. GATHER ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN UNMARKED NON-CONSECUTIVE TWENTIES. AWAIT INSTRUCTIONS. NO FUNNY STUFF."</ref>

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical. A Facebook status reveals that, through unknown means, he has come to believe that "empirical" means "rejecting scientific methods of knowing," which is more or less the opposite of the word's actual meaning. Since his source for this is listed as Jeremy Hilary Boob, Ph.D., a character in ''{{w|Yellow Submarine (film)|Yellow Submarine}}'', perhaps this odd idea came from content in the [[100 2269|Beatles Edition of ''Rock Band]]''.

He described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]</ref> — he might have mixed it up with "belligerent", which means "war-like", or "malevolent", an antonym of "benevolent."

Years later, in 2016, Chris further demonstrated his lack of political understanding in a post on 4 December, in which he said that Trump should "advocate the position, and take Pence with him, and let Hillary be President, as it should Very Well Be."<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#Pmurt should advocate the presidency]]</ref> Chris likely has the word ''advocate'' confused with ''abdicate'', which is a term he might have heard in [[Anne Boleyn|British TV shows]] - it is a term typically used in reference to a monarchy.

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he does not really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he does not exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>
* "[[Duck|The shaped OBJECT]] is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref name="CWCipedia past featured quotes">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Past_Featured_Quotes Past Featured Quotes] on CWCipedia</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref name="CWCipedia past featured quotes"/>

The last example illustrates several problems:

* "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris does not understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." He doesn't understand that "pen" could easily be replaced with "pencil" or "keyboard" in the original saying – it's a {{W|metonym|metonym}} for the written word.
* It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." One would think that a pen being permanent makes it more mighty.
* Still, Chris fails at explaining why it is so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with the original phrase — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear to all, probably including Chris himself. Perhaps it's simply another form of [[random-access humor]].

===Literal interpretations===
Chris is unable to interpret the language other people use at any level other than its literal, surface meaning. He misses the deeper meanings of what others are trying to say to him, and cannot interpret abstract thought or sarcasm. This is known as concrete thought, which can be seen as a symptom of autism.

====Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm====
Chris cannot interpret rhetorical comparisons or hyperbole in general. He ignores the point the speaker is trying to make and focuses on the "exact" meaning of the phrases they use. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's Father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff... candy... don't... I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's Father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's Father:''' Don't… Don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's Father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just healthy foods like vegetables (a blatant lie, but that is beside the point). Because he feels threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that Kacey's dad was trying to make gets lost in the sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris reach complete dead ends.

As the quote read in the [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm. Chris is no exception, and he is often unable to pick up sarcastic comments, as seen in the Guru Larry interview.<ref>[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]</ref>

====Questions and suggestions====
Chris's literal interpretation also affects how he answers questions and follows orders or suggestions. His answers to questions are always laconic with no elaboration, and cannot distinguish the implied meanings within the commands and suggestions given to him from their literal meanings. For example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag #2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no". Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call #8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with [[B-Manajerk]]. The previous day, the manager of the [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a [[McDonald's]] at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again." Chris probably took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now," and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology. This seems to seep into his other language use, too — he urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel, for example. This on its own is innocuous, as normal people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations (and for cable/satellite TV stations, which do not have a transmission frequency), but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag #34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts".<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|''Sonichu'' Quiz #2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] begins with the "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic more usually seen in a TV series. When talking about the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed the {{w|Federal Communications Commission}} for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag #51]]</ref> even though the FCC has no authority over online or printed media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag #51]]</ref> It is as if he is familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show.]]<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. "''For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[''sic''].''"</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue #3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10|Mailbag #10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. In the exact same vein, in [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], he even swears with "hand on My Holy New International Version Bible right now," rather than just on ''any'' old Bible he might have had lying around. This can be explained, again, by Chris's autism, where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

He also tends to mix up similar words, for example, the time he confused [[Sonichu's Edge|free-running]] with {{w|Parkay|a brand of butter}}.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; before he assumed he was female, he almost always referred to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he was feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

Chris also has a habit of inventing new words by muddling the tense of existing ones. This often goes along with his previously-mentioned preference for somewhat odd word choices as he tries to force words into sentences they don't belong in. A good example would be be Chris's love of the word "crestfallen" that came about during the [[Sonic Boom Protests]]. While the word usually exists as a adjective, Chris uses it in a baffling progressive tense "to my dismay and crestfall."

Chris also has a habit of spelling certain words, phrases, or names of people backwards in order to emphasize them in a sentence. For example, during the [[Pmurt]] Saga, Chris would continuously say "EID PMURT, EID!!!" His reasoning for doing this is unknown, however it is known that Chris will often spell the names of his adversaries backwards as a means of degrading them.

==The spoken word==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary. Notice how Chris's most used word is "uh".]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, although that's not really saying much. He claims ad nauseam [[Song of Christian|the first word]] [[Autism Tutorial|he ever spoke]] [[Chris%27s_Wikipedia_profile#His_Early_Years_-_Birth_to_1992|was "monkey"]] at the age of six weeks, which is physically impossible. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uh", "hmm", and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also [[Speech impediment|tends to stutter and repeat himself]].

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the {{w||Game Informer}}.|Chris attempting to convince people that [[Brutal Legend Plus|''Brutal Legend'']] is worthy of a perfect score.}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is [[Random-access humor|trying to be funny]].

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow {{w|R. Kelly}}'s bathroom... [[The Cleveland Show]], new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising.]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[:File:MyMindIsABlank.jpg|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME THE REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit.]]}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|DyTRNU1ym-k}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|short phrases apparently culled from TV]] (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|pCrLyR69cPM}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris seems to have realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated husk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his autism, but it is also related to his [[Random-access humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|"Smell Yo Duck"]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously nothing more than a comical exaggeration on his part, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a {{w|Synesthesia|synaesthete}}. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]], as he has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Profanity==
: ''See also: [[Chris and censorship]]''

At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly part of an effort by Chris to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to sporadically censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash,"<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "[[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Bugs_Bunny|BUGS BUNNY]] WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39|Mailbag #39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "[[CWC-isms#X|XXXXX]]"; the X's are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch".) Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory abounds regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.online/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry Internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
* [[Speech impediment]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[The High School Story]]
* [[Chris and writing]]
* [[Spanish]]
* Anything written on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#English|Chris's high school English homework]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{CWC-isms}}

Chris and English

2023-01-19T14:05:47Z

RoseSparrow: /* CWC-isms */

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is...]]
[[Image:Englishfordummies.jpg|thumb|right|...nor [[Computer|this]].]]

{{quote|I No Socialize Online.|Chris's strangely appropriate [[PSN]] comment.}}

[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things he believes he's mastered, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>[https://archive.md/VFIwC :: Diagnostic Criteria for Autistic Disorder through the years]</ref> Chris often shows little regard for even the most informal standards of spelling, grammar, punctuation, vocabulary, and form. Additionally, he uses obscure constructs that may be grammatically correct, but are also unnecessarily wordy, confusing, semantically vague, or atypical. Other habits, such as his use of "y'all," "ain't," dropped G's (running pronounced runnin'), and double negatives, are clear markers of his [[Virginia|Southeastern]] regional accent. Still others are just plain nonsensical, at least without prior knowledge of his {{w|idiolect|idiolect}}.

Chris spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he's become older, presumably due to his increased isolation, which has affected his English in general, as well as his broader grasp on [[Chris and language|linguistic communication]].

==CWC-isms==
{{Main|CWC-isms}}
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading or listening will be able to understand exactly what he means. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]". He also tends to re-appropriate existing words and phrases, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[Semen|comeuppance]] isn't a fitting outcome for someone's deeds, and [[china]] isn't an [[Punchy Sonichu|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like the definite article "da", Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive desperately grasping for credibility. Other famous CWC-isms like "[[tobacky]]", "[[niggos]]", and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds [[Homos|repulsive]], so he is forced to come up with euphemisms for these terms, which range from [[Navy|confusing puns]] to changing a single letter in a word, barely altering it's pronunciation (i.e. niggos). The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[speech impediment]] and his accent to form an unholy trifecta that defines his speech. With the constant stream of half-words and repetition, it is sometimes difficult to understand what exactly he is talking about. Any resemblance to actual English is tenuous at best; the words he uses are English, but the structure is far from proper. The fact that his vocabulary is a bit lacking only compounds the situation.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it [[Chris and reality|illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe]]. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [''sic''] and sayings of the word will [[Chris and the law|ONLY LEGALLY]] be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, [[IRC (02 January 2009)]]}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound fancy and smart, but instead only makes him look like he doesn't know and/or cannot spell the word "instances". Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is staggeringly [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] given that, as aforementioned, he often ascribes his own, nonsensical meanings to existing words and phrases.

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly [[Chris and his Ego|how self-centered he is]]. While the whole purpose of language is to communicate thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn his vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech. His grammar is also, predictably, abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|fingering]] as "[[CWC-isms#O|outtercourse]]",<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between". (Incidentally, "outercourse" is an actual colloquialism meaning {{w|Non-penetrative sex|dry-humping}}, not fingering.) Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

Chris often misuses punctuation in many ways, with comedic results. In particular, he tends not to use hyphens when they're needed, but for some reason also add hyphens where they ''aren't'' needed, such as in his stock phrase "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]". Clearly he means that he wants to create a relationship from the "ground up". A literal interpretation, though, means he wants to create a girlfriend from something that's been ground up--coffee, cinnamon, pepper, etc. Another prominent example is him writing "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

Because Chris feels the need to type things precisely as he would say them, and worries that he will be misunderstood in print, he makes heavy usage of repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style, comparable to the style used in comic books and graphic novels, which have no doubt influenced him. He also tends to Capitalize Words At Random (a common literary trait among Autistics), especially Nouns and those which hold Importance to the sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to systematically understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying, similar to the Old Grammatical Laws of the Middle [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1800s]]. Also owing to his highly recitative manner of writing, he often adds letters to words to emphasize them. While this on its own is not something unique to Chris, most other people would write "sooo" instead of "so", for example. Chris, however, would only add one "o" to make "soo", which is rather amusing when read phonetically as it makes him sound like a stereotypical [[Tomgirl|effeminate]] [[Homos|homosexual]].

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON [[virgin|I have not had sex yet]] in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality Homosexuality] on CWCipedia</ref>}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like a child, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he'll often veer off topic in order to babble about [[Random-access humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading, or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences, and a copious amount of text in general (especially in the comics). A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would mean he's not telling the whole truth. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is.

Chris has demonstrated particular ineptitude in his usage of semicolons. Semicolons are usually used to connect two independent clauses together without a conjunction, and whatever succeeds a semicolon should be pertinent to whatever immediately preceded it. Chris, however, uses them to crudely string together two (or more) tangentially-related thoughts into a sentence that is consequently incoherent to anyone and which causes confusion as to what Chris even means in the first place. Chris also frequently misuses the semicolon in character dialogue, using it where he should use a full stop (period) or something else entirely.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", [[Rosechu]] is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "[[Bubbles Rosechu]]", "[[Angelica Rosechu]]", and recently introduced, "[[Lolisa Rosechu]]", of whom her Boyfriend, "[[Jamsta Sonichu]]", was the one who Interviewed [[Blanca]] and her [[Jiggliami]] on Radio Station, [[KCWC]].|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

It is well-known that Chris has trouble with simple spelling, as evidenced by all the "''{{w|sic}}''" tags scattered around the CWCki. Despite a myriad of other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He has many rigid, totally consistent habits which he never corrects, such as substituting "ein" for "eni", as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Similarly, "teir" is how Chris spells the word tier on his [[Patreon]] page.

[[File:Teir.png|thumb|150px|How Chris spells tier, one example of many on the page.]]

Chris often spells difficult words phonetically, like a grade-school child still learning literacy, for example spelling "caricature" as "characiture", rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling.

Long after fans discovered his comics, it was realized that the term "[[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]]" is supposed to be a pun, and not just another instance of Chris's butchery of the English language resulting from "u" and "i" being adjacent on the QWERTY keyboard, as most had originally assumed. This largely goes to show that Chris's ability to spell correctly is so noticeably poor that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes unnoticed for ''years''.

In 2014, when he started dating the British-affiliated [[Catherine]], Chris arbitrarily began to use British spellings, especially of the word "colour," since this was particularly relevant to his [[Sonic Boom Protests|protest du jour]]. By March 2015, he was still using these spellings, using the dumb excuse that he was of [[Daniel Weston|British ancestry]]. He has been observed to (inconsistently) use U.K. English spellings as recently as [[May 2022]] in [[Jail_Letter_-_11_May_2022|his letter]] to [[Kengle]] following his return to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]].

===Typos===
[[Image:Sonichu_Typos.jpg|thumb|left|More perfect spelling from <s>Mr.</s> [[Tomgirl|Miss]] Chandler.]]

The above spelling problem is only compounded by Chris's constant typos. The very first sentence on the first page of the comic contains the word "[[Sonichu 0|mies]]" in place of "miles". And even when he edits pages that contain these mistakes and has a chance to fix them, he invariably misses them a second time, like "[[Sonichu 7|dood]]" instead of "good" in issue seven.

The fact that these typos exist only goes to prove that Chris does not bother to proofread his works even a single time after completion and prior to uploading them to the Internet. And assuming that he has read his own comic at some point or another, and that someone '''must''' have drawn his attention to these mistakes at some point, the only logical conclusion is that Chris can not be bothered to go back and fix these typos even when he is aware of them.

Chris acknowledged these spelling mistakes in a [[July 2017 tweets#Improvement|tweet]] on [[July 2017]], claiming that the typos are "etched in history forever".

===Definitions and vocabulary===
Chris has a very bad habit of not knowing what he's talking about, and this is readily observable in his '''vocabulary''' – beyond the above [[CWC-isms]]. Chris still believes the word "[[naïve]]" means stupid, and thus hates being called it. Naïve, in simple terms, means "ignorance or gullibility because of a lack of experience". Therefore, this word accurately describes Chris because he doesn't do anything, and because of that he's gullible and ignorant. Another word Chris throws around with wild abandon is "slander". Chris constantly calls his [[ED]] page and the [[CWCki]] slanderous. Slander is defamation. Defamation is the destruction of reputation or character through manipulation of video, photographic, and audio evidence. Libel is like slander, but is defamation through writing.

There's two things wrong with Chris's use of slander. His ED page and the CWCki consist of more written material than videos, photographs and audio, so if it was anything it would be libel. The other is that the ED page and CWCki are neither slander nor libel, because nothing on them is manipulated and everything on them is [[True and Honest|true]], and backed up with evidence provided by none other than Chris himself.

Related to his choice of vocabulary, Chris has an issue with using terms that, while technically meaning similar things, have different tones. This is perhaps most evident in [[Sonichu 10]], where Chris uses the term "bearing false witness" multiple times. In the context Chris uses the term, he's simply using it as an alternate way of saying "lying" or "misrepresenting", as the Biblical term is often simplified when explaining the Ten Commandments to children. Chris fails to realize that the term is more or less exclusively associated with the Bible and using it when discussing himself makes the characters sound like they're referring to Chris as their god, although [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|this may have]] [[Ego|been intentional]]. Likewise, the Asperchu characters claim to have been forced to "make a false idol of the brown-shirted one" even though in Asperchu, the protagonists merely respect their creator, rather than worship him. Again, the use of Biblical terminology makes the whole thing seem even more narcissistic.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim, which does little except to gradually annoy whoever he's addressing. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "[[boyfriend-free girl]] to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up." This clunky phrasing is reiterated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He makes copious usage of his "joke" that "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as having "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump," notably in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]]. During the [[2008]] election, Bob joked to Chris that Obama would paint the White House black if he was elected. Chris [[Autism|seemed to take this literally]], incorporated the joke into [[Sonichu 8]], and even got his father to sign the page, and years later, he still occasionally talked about the former President repainting the White House.

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It is tempting to just blame his autism for this repetition, which is likely a factor; however, much like his life in general, not all of his failures at communication can be the product of his autism — other possibilities include that:
* Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so "successfully", he tends to reuse what he knows is (or believes to be) a working formula.
* Chris mistakenly thinks his peculiar constructions are funny and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one original joke]].
* Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones.
* Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

====Piecemeal language use====
Chris's phrase usage is a deep-seated issue, to the point that it's almost possible to imagine that he copies all of his phrases from ''somewhere'', even when he has not used the phrase previously. People usually learn idioms from other people when they hear them in an appropriate context, but though Chris may experience such a context, it will often fly straight over his head, and accordingly he has problems fully understanding the meaning of the phrase. Like most of us, he has obviously learned some phrases from the world around him, and he ''sort of'' understands what they mean and ''sort of'' uses them in the correct context. Despite this, it is as if he just learned the phrases, and, like some foreign English student, is making the first awkward steps towards using them properly. Unlike those curious foreigners, however, Chris is not worried about getting punched in the face by the natives for abusing beloved idioms.

To an outside observer, many of Chris's phrases almost always appear out of place and tacked on. This can manifest itself in even very small examples, such as in the video title "[[New Address]]"; the video isn't about any sort of an address change, as the phrase was intended to imply, but rather is an ''address'' to a specific individual, one that is ''newly released''. It is akin to a foreigner opening a phrasebook, finding the entry "New Address", and saying "OK, that is probably close enough--it has 'new' and 'address' in it."

For more blatant examples, in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris continually demands "Legal, Unmark[ed], Non-consecutive" bills to be mailed to him. He probably thinks it's the sort of thing people ''generally'' say when they want cash mailed to them, without realizing that he has picked this expression up from crime fiction where that kind of phrase is said as part of a ransom demand. Also, when listing his definitely ancient television on [[Craigslist]], he demands "CASH ONLY, And Up-Front. $250 or better offer; NO HAGGLE." which doesn't apply at all to something like an old TV, and directly contradicts his very own offer. Regarding "No haggle" or a "better offer", it is clear he has no clue what "haggle" even means. He most likely picked up the jargon from other entries on the site.<ref>See, for example, the note in ''The Big Lebowski'': "WE HAVE BUNNY. GATHER ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN UNMARKED NON-CONSECUTIVE TWENTIES. AWAIT INSTRUCTIONS. NO FUNNY STUFF."</ref>

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical. A Facebook status reveals that, through unknown means, he has come to believe that "empirical" means "rejecting scientific methods of knowing," which is more or less the opposite of the word's actual meaning. Since his source for this is listed as Jeremy Hilary Boob, Ph.D., a character in ''{{w|Yellow Submarine (film)|Yellow Submarine}}'', perhaps this odd idea came from content in the [[100 2269|Beatles Edition of ''Rock Band]]''.

He described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]</ref> — he might have mixed it up with "belligerent", which means "war-like", or "malevolent", an antonym of "benevolent."

Years later, in 2016, Chris further demonstrated his lack of political understanding in a post on 4 December, in which he said that Trump should "advocate the position, and take Pence with him, and let Hillary be President, as it should Very Well Be."<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#Pmurt should advocate the presidency]]</ref> Chris likely has the word ''advocate'' confused with ''abdicate'', which is a term he might have heard in [[Anne Boleyn|British TV shows]] - it is a term typically used in reference to a monarchy.

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he does not really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he does not exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>
* "The shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref name="CWCipedia past featured quotes">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Past_Featured_Quotes Past Featured Quotes] on CWCipedia</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref name="CWCipedia past featured quotes"/>

The last example illustrates several problems:

* "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris does not understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." He doesn't understand that "pen" could easily be replaced with "pencil" or "keyboard" in the original saying – it's a {{W|metonym|metonym}} for the written word.
* It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." One would think that a pen being permanent makes it more mighty.
* Still, Chris fails at explaining why it is so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with the original phrase — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear to all, probably including Chris himself. Perhaps it's simply another form of [[random-access humor]].

===Literal interpretations===
Chris is unable to interpret the language other people use at any level other than its literal, surface meaning. He misses the deeper meanings of what others are trying to say to him, and cannot interpret abstract thought or sarcasm. This is known as concrete thought, which can be seen as a symptom of autism.

====Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm====
Chris cannot interpret rhetorical comparisons or hyperbole in general. He ignores the point the speaker is trying to make and focuses on the "exact" meaning of the phrases they use. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's Father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff... candy... don't... I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's Father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's Father:''' Don't… Don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's Father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just healthy foods like vegetables (a blatant lie, but that is beside the point). Because he feels threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that Kacey's dad was trying to make gets lost in the sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris reach complete dead ends.

As the quote read in the [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm. Chris is no exception, and he is often unable to pick up sarcastic comments, as seen in the Guru Larry interview.<ref>[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]</ref>

====Questions and suggestions====
Chris's literal interpretation also affects how he answers questions and follows orders or suggestions. His answers to questions are always laconic with no elaboration, and cannot distinguish the implied meanings within the commands and suggestions given to him from their literal meanings. For example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag #2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no". Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call #8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with [[B-Manajerk]]. The previous day, the manager of the [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a [[McDonald's]] at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again." Chris probably took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now," and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology. This seems to seep into his other language use, too — he urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel, for example. This on its own is innocuous, as normal people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations (and for cable/satellite TV stations, which do not have a transmission frequency), but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag #34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts".<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|''Sonichu'' Quiz #2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] begins with the "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic more usually seen in a TV series. When talking about the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed the {{w|Federal Communications Commission}} for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag #51]]</ref> even though the FCC has no authority over online or printed media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag #51]]</ref> It is as if he is familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show.]]<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. "''For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[''sic''].''"</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue #3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10|Mailbag #10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. In the exact same vein, in [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], he even swears with "hand on My Holy New International Version Bible right now," rather than just on ''any'' old Bible he might have had lying around. This can be explained, again, by Chris's autism, where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

He also tends to mix up similar words, for example, the time he confused [[Sonichu's Edge|free-running]] with {{w|Parkay|a brand of butter}}.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; before he assumed he was female, he almost always referred to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he was feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

Chris also has a habit of inventing new words by muddling the tense of existing ones. This often goes along with his previously-mentioned preference for somewhat odd word choices as he tries to force words into sentences they don't belong in. A good example would be be Chris's love of the word "crestfallen" that came about during the [[Sonic Boom Protests]]. While the word usually exists as a adjective, Chris uses it in a baffling progressive tense "to my dismay and crestfall."

Chris also has a habit of spelling certain words, phrases, or names of people backwards in order to emphasize them in a sentence. For example, during the [[Pmurt]] Saga, Chris would continuously say "EID PMURT, EID!!!" His reasoning for doing this is unknown, however it is known that Chris will often spell the names of his adversaries backwards as a means of degrading them.

==The spoken word==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary. Notice how Chris's most used word is "uh".]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, although that's not really saying much. He claims ad nauseam [[Song of Christian|the first word]] [[Autism Tutorial|he ever spoke]] [[Chris%27s_Wikipedia_profile#His_Early_Years_-_Birth_to_1992|was "monkey"]] at the age of six weeks, which is physically impossible. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uh", "hmm", and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also [[Speech impediment|tends to stutter and repeat himself]].

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the {{w||Game Informer}}.|Chris attempting to convince people that [[Brutal Legend Plus|''Brutal Legend'']] is worthy of a perfect score.}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is [[Random-access humor|trying to be funny]].

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow {{w|R. Kelly}}'s bathroom... [[The Cleveland Show]], new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising.]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[:File:MyMindIsABlank.jpg|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME THE REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit.]]}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|DyTRNU1ym-k}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|short phrases apparently culled from TV]] (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|pCrLyR69cPM}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris seems to have realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated husk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his autism, but it is also related to his [[Random-access humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|"Smell Yo Duck"]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously nothing more than a comical exaggeration on his part, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a {{w|Synesthesia|synaesthete}}. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]], as he has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Profanity==
: ''See also: [[Chris and censorship]]''

At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly part of an effort by Chris to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to sporadically censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash,"<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "[[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Bugs_Bunny|BUGS BUNNY]] WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39|Mailbag #39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "[[CWC-isms#X|XXXXX]]"; the X's are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch".) Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory abounds regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.online/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry Internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
* [[Speech impediment]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[The High School Story]]
* [[Chris and writing]]
* [[Spanish]]
* Anything written on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#English|Chris's high school English homework]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{CWC-isms}}

Chris and English

2023-01-19T14:03:15Z

RoseSparrow: /* CWC-isms */

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is...]]
[[Image:Englishfordummies.jpg|thumb|right|...nor [[Computer|this]].]]

{{quote|I No Socialize Online.|Chris's strangely appropriate [[PSN]] comment.}}

[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things he believes he's mastered, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>[https://archive.md/VFIwC :: Diagnostic Criteria for Autistic Disorder through the years]</ref> Chris often shows little regard for even the most informal standards of spelling, grammar, punctuation, vocabulary, and form. Additionally, he uses obscure constructs that may be grammatically correct, but are also unnecessarily wordy, confusing, semantically vague, or atypical. Other habits, such as his use of "y'all," "ain't," dropped G's (running pronounced runnin'), and double negatives, are clear markers of his [[Virginia|Southeastern]] regional accent. Still others are just plain nonsensical, at least without prior knowledge of his {{w|idiolect|idiolect}}.

Chris spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he's become older, presumably due to his increased isolation, which has affected his English in general, as well as his broader grasp on [[Chris and language|linguistic communication]].

==CWC-isms==
{{Main|CWC-isms}}
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading or listening will be able to understand exactly what he means. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]". He also tends to re-appropriate existing words and phrases, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[Semen|comeuppance]] isn't a fitting outcome for someone's deeds, and [[china]] isn't an [[Punchy Sonichu|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like the definite article "da", Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive desperately grasping for credibility. Other famous CWC-isms like "[[tobacky]]", "[[niggos]]", and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds [[Homos|repulsive]], so he is forced to come up with euphemisms for these terms, which range from [[Navy|confusing puns]] to changing a single letter in a word, barely altering it's pronunciation (i.e. niggos). The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[speech impediment]] and his accent to form an unholy trifecta that defines his speech. With the constant stream of half-words and repetition, it is sometimes difficult to understand what exactly he is talking about. Any resemblance to actual English is tenuous at best; the words he uses are English, but the structure is far from proper. The fact that his vocabulary is a bit lacking only compounds the situation.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it [[Chris and reality|illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe]]. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [''sic''] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, [[IRC (02 January 2009)]]}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound fancy and smart, but instead only makes him look like he doesn't know and/or cannot spell the word "instances". Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is staggeringly [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] given that, as aforementioned, he often ascribes his own, nonsensical meanings to existing words and phrases.

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly [[Chris and his Ego|how self-centered he is]]. While the whole purpose of language is to communicate thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn his vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech. His grammar is also, predictably, abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|fingering]] as "[[CWC-isms#O|outtercourse]]",<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between". (Incidentally, "outercourse" is an actual colloquialism meaning {{w|Non-penetrative sex|dry-humping}}, not fingering.) Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

Chris often misuses punctuation in many ways, with comedic results. In particular, he tends not to use hyphens when they're needed, but for some reason also add hyphens where they ''aren't'' needed, such as in his stock phrase "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]". Clearly he means that he wants to create a relationship from the "ground up". A literal interpretation, though, means he wants to create a girlfriend from something that's been ground up--coffee, cinnamon, pepper, etc. Another prominent example is him writing "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

Because Chris feels the need to type things precisely as he would say them, and worries that he will be misunderstood in print, he makes heavy usage of repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style, comparable to the style used in comic books and graphic novels, which have no doubt influenced him. He also tends to Capitalize Words At Random (a common literary trait among Autistics), especially Nouns and those which hold Importance to the sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to systematically understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying, similar to the Old Grammatical Laws of the Middle [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1800s]]. Also owing to his highly recitative manner of writing, he often adds letters to words to emphasize them. While this on its own is not something unique to Chris, most other people would write "sooo" instead of "so", for example. Chris, however, would only add one "o" to make "soo", which is rather amusing when read phonetically as it makes him sound like a stereotypical [[Tomgirl|effeminate]] [[Homos|homosexual]].

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON [[virgin|I have not had sex yet]] in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality Homosexuality] on CWCipedia</ref>}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like a child, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he'll often veer off topic in order to babble about [[Random-access humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading, or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences, and a copious amount of text in general (especially in the comics). A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would mean he's not telling the whole truth. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is.

Chris has demonstrated particular ineptitude in his usage of semicolons. Semicolons are usually used to connect two independent clauses together without a conjunction, and whatever succeeds a semicolon should be pertinent to whatever immediately preceded it. Chris, however, uses them to crudely string together two (or more) tangentially-related thoughts into a sentence that is consequently incoherent to anyone and which causes confusion as to what Chris even means in the first place. Chris also frequently misuses the semicolon in character dialogue, using it where he should use a full stop (period) or something else entirely.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", [[Rosechu]] is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "[[Bubbles Rosechu]]", "[[Angelica Rosechu]]", and recently introduced, "[[Lolisa Rosechu]]", of whom her Boyfriend, "[[Jamsta Sonichu]]", was the one who Interviewed [[Blanca]] and her [[Jiggliami]] on Radio Station, [[KCWC]].|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

It is well-known that Chris has trouble with simple spelling, as evidenced by all the "''{{w|sic}}''" tags scattered around the CWCki. Despite a myriad of other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He has many rigid, totally consistent habits which he never corrects, such as substituting "ein" for "eni", as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Similarly, "teir" is how Chris spells the word tier on his [[Patreon]] page.

[[File:Teir.png|thumb|150px|How Chris spells tier, one example of many on the page.]]

Chris often spells difficult words phonetically, like a grade-school child still learning literacy, for example spelling "caricature" as "characiture", rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling.

Long after fans discovered his comics, it was realized that the term "[[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]]" is supposed to be a pun, and not just another instance of Chris's butchery of the English language resulting from "u" and "i" being adjacent on the QWERTY keyboard, as most had originally assumed. This largely goes to show that Chris's ability to spell correctly is so noticeably poor that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes unnoticed for ''years''.

In 2014, when he started dating the British-affiliated [[Catherine]], Chris arbitrarily began to use British spellings, especially of the word "colour," since this was particularly relevant to his [[Sonic Boom Protests|protest du jour]]. By March 2015, he was still using these spellings, using the dumb excuse that he was of [[Daniel Weston|British ancestry]]. He has been observed to (inconsistently) use U.K. English spellings as recently as [[May 2022]] in [[Jail_Letter_-_11_May_2022|his letter]] to [[Kengle]] following his return to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]].

===Typos===
[[Image:Sonichu_Typos.jpg|thumb|left|More perfect spelling from <s>Mr.</s> [[Tomgirl|Miss]] Chandler.]]

The above spelling problem is only compounded by Chris's constant typos. The very first sentence on the first page of the comic contains the word "[[Sonichu 0|mies]]" in place of "miles". And even when he edits pages that contain these mistakes and has a chance to fix them, he invariably misses them a second time, like "[[Sonichu 7|dood]]" instead of "good" in issue seven.

The fact that these typos exist only goes to prove that Chris does not bother to proofread his works even a single time after completion and prior to uploading them to the Internet. And assuming that he has read his own comic at some point or another, and that someone '''must''' have drawn his attention to these mistakes at some point, the only logical conclusion is that Chris can not be bothered to go back and fix these typos even when he is aware of them.

Chris acknowledged these spelling mistakes in a [[July 2017 tweets#Improvement|tweet]] on [[July 2017]], claiming that the typos are "etched in history forever".

===Definitions and vocabulary===
Chris has a very bad habit of not knowing what he's talking about, and this is readily observable in his '''vocabulary''' – beyond the above [[CWC-isms]]. Chris still believes the word "[[naïve]]" means stupid, and thus hates being called it. Naïve, in simple terms, means "ignorance or gullibility because of a lack of experience". Therefore, this word accurately describes Chris because he doesn't do anything, and because of that he's gullible and ignorant. Another word Chris throws around with wild abandon is "slander". Chris constantly calls his [[ED]] page and the [[CWCki]] slanderous. Slander is defamation. Defamation is the destruction of reputation or character through manipulation of video, photographic, and audio evidence. Libel is like slander, but is defamation through writing.

There's two things wrong with Chris's use of slander. His ED page and the CWCki consist of more written material than videos, photographs and audio, so if it was anything it would be libel. The other is that the ED page and CWCki are neither slander nor libel, because nothing on them is manipulated and everything on them is [[True and Honest|true]], and backed up with evidence provided by none other than Chris himself.

Related to his choice of vocabulary, Chris has an issue with using terms that, while technically meaning similar things, have different tones. This is perhaps most evident in [[Sonichu 10]], where Chris uses the term "bearing false witness" multiple times. In the context Chris uses the term, he's simply using it as an alternate way of saying "lying" or "misrepresenting", as the Biblical term is often simplified when explaining the Ten Commandments to children. Chris fails to realize that the term is more or less exclusively associated with the Bible and using it when discussing himself makes the characters sound like they're referring to Chris as their god, although [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|this may have]] [[Ego|been intentional]]. Likewise, the Asperchu characters claim to have been forced to "make a false idol of the brown-shirted one" even though in Asperchu, the protagonists merely respect their creator, rather than worship him. Again, the use of Biblical terminology makes the whole thing seem even more narcissistic.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim, which does little except to gradually annoy whoever he's addressing. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "[[boyfriend-free girl]] to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up." This clunky phrasing is reiterated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He makes copious usage of his "joke" that "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as having "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump," notably in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]]. During the [[2008]] election, Bob joked to Chris that Obama would paint the White House black if he was elected. Chris [[Autism|seemed to take this literally]], incorporated the joke into [[Sonichu 8]], and even got his father to sign the page, and years later, he still occasionally talked about the former President repainting the White House.

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It is tempting to just blame his autism for this repetition, which is likely a factor; however, much like his life in general, not all of his failures at communication can be the product of his autism — other possibilities include that:
* Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so "successfully", he tends to reuse what he knows is (or believes to be) a working formula.
* Chris mistakenly thinks his peculiar constructions are funny and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one original joke]].
* Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones.
* Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

====Piecemeal language use====
Chris's phrase usage is a deep-seated issue, to the point that it's almost possible to imagine that he copies all of his phrases from ''somewhere'', even when he has not used the phrase previously. People usually learn idioms from other people when they hear them in an appropriate context, but though Chris may experience such a context, it will often fly straight over his head, and accordingly he has problems fully understanding the meaning of the phrase. Like most of us, he has obviously learned some phrases from the world around him, and he ''sort of'' understands what they mean and ''sort of'' uses them in the correct context. Despite this, it is as if he just learned the phrases, and, like some foreign English student, is making the first awkward steps towards using them properly. Unlike those curious foreigners, however, Chris is not worried about getting punched in the face by the natives for abusing beloved idioms.

To an outside observer, many of Chris's phrases almost always appear out of place and tacked on. This can manifest itself in even very small examples, such as in the video title "[[New Address]]"; the video isn't about any sort of an address change, as the phrase was intended to imply, but rather is an ''address'' to a specific individual, one that is ''newly released''. It is akin to a foreigner opening a phrasebook, finding the entry "New Address", and saying "OK, that is probably close enough--it has 'new' and 'address' in it."

For more blatant examples, in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris continually demands "Legal, Unmark[ed], Non-consecutive" bills to be mailed to him. He probably thinks it's the sort of thing people ''generally'' say when they want cash mailed to them, without realizing that he has picked this expression up from crime fiction where that kind of phrase is said as part of a ransom demand. Also, when listing his definitely ancient television on [[Craigslist]], he demands "CASH ONLY, And Up-Front. $250 or better offer; NO HAGGLE." which doesn't apply at all to something like an old TV, and directly contradicts his very own offer. Regarding "No haggle" or a "better offer", it is clear he has no clue what "haggle" even means. He most likely picked up the jargon from other entries on the site.<ref>See, for example, the note in ''The Big Lebowski'': "WE HAVE BUNNY. GATHER ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN UNMARKED NON-CONSECUTIVE TWENTIES. AWAIT INSTRUCTIONS. NO FUNNY STUFF."</ref>

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical. A Facebook status reveals that, through unknown means, he has come to believe that "empirical" means "rejecting scientific methods of knowing," which is more or less the opposite of the word's actual meaning. Since his source for this is listed as Jeremy Hilary Boob, Ph.D., a character in ''{{w|Yellow Submarine (film)|Yellow Submarine}}'', perhaps this odd idea came from content in the [[100 2269|Beatles Edition of ''Rock Band]]''.

He described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]</ref> — he might have mixed it up with "belligerent", which means "war-like", or "malevolent", an antonym of "benevolent."

Years later, in 2016, Chris further demonstrated his lack of political understanding in a post on 4 December, in which he said that Trump should "advocate the position, and take Pence with him, and let Hillary be President, as it should Very Well Be."<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#Pmurt should advocate the presidency]]</ref> Chris likely has the word ''advocate'' confused with ''abdicate'', which is a term he might have heard in [[Anne Boleyn|British TV shows]] - it is a term typically used in reference to a monarchy.

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he does not really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he does not exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>
* "The shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref name="CWCipedia past featured quotes">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Past_Featured_Quotes Past Featured Quotes] on CWCipedia</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref name="CWCipedia past featured quotes"/>

The last example illustrates several problems:

* "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris does not understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." He doesn't understand that "pen" could easily be replaced with "pencil" or "keyboard" in the original saying – it's a {{W|metonym|metonym}} for the written word.
* It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." One would think that a pen being permanent makes it more mighty.
* Still, Chris fails at explaining why it is so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with the original phrase — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear to all, probably including Chris himself. Perhaps it's simply another form of [[random-access humor]].

===Literal interpretations===
Chris is unable to interpret the language other people use at any level other than its literal, surface meaning. He misses the deeper meanings of what others are trying to say to him, and cannot interpret abstract thought or sarcasm. This is known as concrete thought, which can be seen as a symptom of autism.

====Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm====
Chris cannot interpret rhetorical comparisons or hyperbole in general. He ignores the point the speaker is trying to make and focuses on the "exact" meaning of the phrases they use. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's Father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff... candy... don't... I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's Father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's Father:''' Don't… Don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's Father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just healthy foods like vegetables (a blatant lie, but that is beside the point). Because he feels threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that Kacey's dad was trying to make gets lost in the sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris reach complete dead ends.

As the quote read in the [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm. Chris is no exception, and he is often unable to pick up sarcastic comments, as seen in the Guru Larry interview.<ref>[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]</ref>

====Questions and suggestions====
Chris's literal interpretation also affects how he answers questions and follows orders or suggestions. His answers to questions are always laconic with no elaboration, and cannot distinguish the implied meanings within the commands and suggestions given to him from their literal meanings. For example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag #2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no". Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call #8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with [[B-Manajerk]]. The previous day, the manager of the [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a [[McDonald's]] at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again." Chris probably took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now," and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology. This seems to seep into his other language use, too — he urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel, for example. This on its own is innocuous, as normal people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations (and for cable/satellite TV stations, which do not have a transmission frequency), but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag #34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts".<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|''Sonichu'' Quiz #2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] begins with the "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic more usually seen in a TV series. When talking about the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed the {{w|Federal Communications Commission}} for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag #51]]</ref> even though the FCC has no authority over online or printed media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag #51]]</ref> It is as if he is familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show.]]<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. "''For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[''sic''].''"</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue #3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10|Mailbag #10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. In the exact same vein, in [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], he even swears with "hand on My Holy New International Version Bible right now," rather than just on ''any'' old Bible he might have had lying around. This can be explained, again, by Chris's autism, where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

He also tends to mix up similar words, for example, the time he confused [[Sonichu's Edge|free-running]] with {{w|Parkay|a brand of butter}}.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; before he assumed he was female, he almost always referred to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he was feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

Chris also has a habit of inventing new words by muddling the tense of existing ones. This often goes along with his previously-mentioned preference for somewhat odd word choices as he tries to force words into sentences they don't belong in. A good example would be be Chris's love of the word "crestfallen" that came about during the [[Sonic Boom Protests]]. While the word usually exists as a adjective, Chris uses it in a baffling progressive tense "to my dismay and crestfall."

Chris also has a habit of spelling certain words, phrases, or names of people backwards in order to emphasize them in a sentence. For example, during the [[Pmurt]] Saga, Chris would continuously say "EID PMURT, EID!!!" His reasoning for doing this is unknown, however it is known that Chris will often spell the names of his adversaries backwards as a means of degrading them.

==The spoken word==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary. Notice how Chris's most used word is "uh".]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, although that's not really saying much. He claims ad nauseam [[Song of Christian|the first word]] [[Autism Tutorial|he ever spoke]] [[Chris%27s_Wikipedia_profile#His_Early_Years_-_Birth_to_1992|was "monkey"]] at the age of six weeks, which is physically impossible. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uh", "hmm", and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also [[Speech impediment|tends to stutter and repeat himself]].

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the {{w||Game Informer}}.|Chris attempting to convince people that [[Brutal Legend Plus|''Brutal Legend'']] is worthy of a perfect score.}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is [[Random-access humor|trying to be funny]].

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow {{w|R. Kelly}}'s bathroom... [[The Cleveland Show]], new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising.]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[:File:MyMindIsABlank.jpg|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME THE REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit.]]}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|DyTRNU1ym-k}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|short phrases apparently culled from TV]] (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|pCrLyR69cPM}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris seems to have realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated husk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his autism, but it is also related to his [[Random-access humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|"Smell Yo Duck"]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously nothing more than a comical exaggeration on his part, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a {{w|Synesthesia|synaesthete}}. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]], as he has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Profanity==
: ''See also: [[Chris and censorship]]''

At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly part of an effort by Chris to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to sporadically censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash,"<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "[[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Bugs_Bunny|BUGS BUNNY]] WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39|Mailbag #39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "[[CWC-isms#X|XXXXX]]"; the X's are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch".) Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory abounds regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.online/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry Internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
* [[Speech impediment]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[The High School Story]]
* [[Chris and writing]]
* [[Spanish]]
* Anything written on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#English|Chris's high school English homework]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{CWC-isms}}

User:RoseSparrow

2022-12-21T01:53:37Z

RoseSparrow: Created page with "===RoseSparrow=== I like transcripting shit lol"

===RoseSparrow===
I like transcripting shit lol

Live Drawing Streams

2022-12-21T01:46:32Z

RoseSparrow: /* Transcript */

{{transcript}}

'''Live Drawing Streams''' are videos of Chris drawing new pages of Sonichu. All videos contain a description reading:

{{quotebox|This is the Official YouTube channel of the one and only creator and author of the Sonichu and Rosechu series, Christine Weston Chandler (AKA Christian, Christopher, Chris Chan, Ricardo); me. Links to my personal Facebook and Twitter pages, as well as my stores of Sonichu and Rosechu, and self, merchandise are available for purchase. Among which, more items are to come in the future, so stay tuned for the updates when I make them personally.}}

==05082017==

Chris spends 39 minutes drawing line work for one page of [[Sonichu 11]], the first new page created 561 days after he quit working on the comic in 2015. And in a move rivaling that of the [[Brutal Legend]] video, Chris's voice is not heard throughout the live stream, though the Playroom theme continues to drone on. Clearly it was [[Chris and work|too much of a hassle]] to do a simple mic check before starting the stream, showing that [[Chris and cinematography|old habits die hard]] when it comes to Chris.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Live Drawing Stream - 05082017
| ytid = EMXmZn-jb1Q
| stardate = 8 [[May 2017]]
| saga = {{Business|text}}
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{The Happy Hag|text}}
| previous = [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 05052017]]
| next = [[Live Drawing Streams#05142017|05142017]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|For continued peace of my mind that will keep the drawing spark lit, please Donate or Pledge some money my way. Thank You All for your loyalty, fandom and patience.

Donate directly via PayPal to my email address. Or Pledge to my Patreon.}}

==05142017==

Chris spends 1 hour and 38 minutes drawing, still with the mic off - even though he is seen talking during the livestream. He reveals that he is re-using his technique of including photos of himself for comic panels, which he had done in [[Sonichu 6]]. He requests donations of $10 each through Paypal.me or a pledge on [[Patreon]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Live Drawing Stream - 05142017
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uaLtfgVpl_U}}
| stardate = 14 [[May 2017]]
| saga = {{Business|text}}, {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{(Handouts)|text}}, {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Live Drawing Streams#05082017|05082017]]
| next = [[Live Drawing Streams#05152017|05152017]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|Please donate directly at http://www.paypal.me/CwcvilleGuardian/10. Or you may pledge a monthly amount on my Patreon. My mom and I Really Need more money right now, Please. Thank You All.}}

==05152017==

Chris remembers to use the mic this time. He films himself using Photoshop on a laptop for an hour and a half, putting together a collage of photos of himself and his parents mixed with drawings of the Sonichu klan.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Live Drawing Stream - 05152017
| video = {{#ev:youtube|O7XXk6XX2lY}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 2017]]
| saga = {{Business|text}}, {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Live Drawing Streams#05142017|05142017]]
| next = [[Minor Update, Handouts!#Minor Update, plus we need more money, Please.|Minor Update, plus we need more money, Please.]]
}}

===Description===

{{quotebox|PLEASE DONATE BIG NOW! http://www.paypal.me/CwcvilleGuardian/5
Thank You}}

[[File:Cwc's sonichu family.jpg|thumb|500px|The end result of hours of drawing and editing.]]

===Transcript===
[''Chris stands in the middle of his room'']--ve fro--from home once again, with another live drawing... special. But except this time, we have already done the drawings, and scanned them into the computer... of which we are going to put... these pictures... onto to the pre... taken... photographs... for my--for the eleventh book. So, right now, I'll be transferring you live to my laptop. (ugh) And I gotta switch the input, well, wait, no I dont- yes I do. Cause I want my Britney Spears to... [Unintelligable] I want my Britney Spears...

Alright so yeah; y´all get to see my laptop for once. Okay so right I have my flashdrive with the photographs for these special portions of the special pannels for these pages... For this- for this video were gonna- were gonna put together the group photo in front of the house.
So anyways im on my external flashdrive... Find the photo...Okay so thats the first photo, and we need to resize it, [ugh] not only for the resolution, but for the width of the page- pannel. And we gotta have the resolutions match, uh so anyways as for to match with what I have so far for a previous idea, I got out me and my mom and my dad I have the picture so I gotta find the file with these cropped out portions that ive already made. I printed these out for my s- for my referance. I may have to do a little erasing on the pictres itself as I put em´ in and of course they´ll be resized, they´ll individually resized to match. Aight so- so thats me, and im bringing in my mom, and the reason her legs look green is because this was a photo taken were she was standing in the garden. But for the sake- but fortunatley these two pictures of my dad and my mom were from the same photograph, except for the sweater, and I had to give her her house coat and I had to give him his sweater cause it was- cause in the book here it was December 2008.

Oh by the way any time during this video... please, please, /please/ donate to the link below in the description of this livestream. I´m only gonna ask that once for right now while I work on this.
Anyways I gotta get it all sized to match so we´re gonna- so we´re [unintelligable] gonna take care of that first and take it- my polygon and zoom in on me first cause I´m in the center of the thing, and were just gonna crop me out... uhm and this is a recent photo sure but you did know that this shirt still did exist back in 2008,
and this is part of the story where I ended up cause I- cause this verion of myself has seen me in the future, which is the present, and I´m gettin´ a head start in 2008 essentiallly so just ignore the braclet on my arm. Just pretend this picture is part of a 2008 group photo.

Doo doo doot [extended silence with pop music in the backround]. Alright [sigh], click, uh oh! Am I in the right layer? Aw shoot. Alright, now I got-- Okay here's the layer. Alright, get rid of this thing. [''Chris deletes the previous layer and sighs again''] Get rid of this- cardboard cutout. And, kinda, resizing myself in reference to- the doorframe, im holding the shift button so it all stays constrained and proportioned- bout' that tall per say in relation to the door- and we're gonna put me about there. [''Chris moves a shitty cutout of himself next to a group of trashcans''] Or abouts, over there, and in reference to the photo I end up being a little larger cuz im closer to the foreground, so im going with the photo reference where my head goes a little bit above the window- there[??? the fuck does any of this mean]. Hmmm... [something] go about... hmmm... hmmm... I need about one more bar up there-- Okay press enter to accept that for now. Now.. my mom, jus' gonna do the same thing here.. [Chris drags a photo of a younger barb in a garden on screen] crop around the photo. At least this time I can go in a little bit cuz..... [long pause] The house coat was part- was- this part was actually from another photo..... But because I didnt- Because I didnt have the full... house coat... I had to make do with a buncha white. A whooole lot of...... White- To make the appearance of- the remaining house colt- house coat. While having the rest of my mother por...trayed here but, as she was, in this separate photo where she's kneeling in the garden. [8:15]

{{Transcript}}
 

==06072017==

Chris spends an hour and 44 minutes drawing and coloring a page for the original [[Sonichu 12-9| ''Sonichu #12-9]], which was originally a crossover story between Sonichu and characters from YouTube channel [[DoopieDoOver|Planet Dolan]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Live Drawing Stream - 06072017
| video = {{#ev:youtube|nWhCMJJkahg}}
| stardate = 7 [[June 2017]]
| saga = {{Business|text}}
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{(Clopper)|text}}
| previous = [[CLog 06072017]]
| next = [[Poetic Letter]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|Pledge today for sneak peeks at the pages of the to-be-published books, and autographed copies of my past books.

<nowiki>https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4525122</nowiki>

Direct Donations are also accepted.

<nowiki>http://www.paypal.me/CwcvilleGuardian/1</nowiki>

<nowiki>**Ashleigh Balls's "Love Is Gold" Album playing in background; available for download and Compact Disc.</nowiki>}}

===Transcript===

Live from home, and...I just heard that [[Planet Dolan]]'s doing a drawing competition. So, with what I started as just a cover, I'm gonna do as an entry for the contest--I see it as a [something]-ful opportunity. So without further ado, let's get y'all down to [[Chris and art|my drawing level]].

[Chris aims the camera at the desk. The camera begins wobbling.]

I'm going to put this on my other...

[Chris push a button on a remote, chortles, and adjusts the camera.]

(mumbling) Yeah, make sure... Mm... Uhn... Don't, nowait-- I mean it's down there, not up here.

Anyway, so, in the meantime, I'm puttin' this on my PC so we can enjoy...the music...that I like to listen to.

[Music starts.]

This is music from uh, Ashleigh Ball's new album, Love is Gold. It is very good, seven tracks. My favorite song of it is Shining Colors but all her songs are catchy. So with her music being included, uh, I give credit to her regardless... Uh, this video will not be monetized.

But anyway, um... So with that, what I'm going to do is... I'm making three section, as in what I had in my idea for...amongst the story arcs of my Sonichu / Planet Dolan [[Sonichu 12-9#Production notes|crossover special]]. It'd just be kinda like a preview, like a trailer kinda thing. So, it'd be like... One story arc section there [points at top panel], then another one here [points at middle panel], and then a third one there [points at bottom panel]. And this one-page trailer, "trailer" using quotes, will be my entry into the--into this competition. So without further ado, here's a live art drawing stream.

[2:03]

all right takes me what I think you let's put the top section to two halves to make for the first section of which let's do this sont you and roast you meet Dolan a newbie so let's get sawed you start over here [Music] that's a angling his nice how where he's looking gonna be looking at plant doll at danger dolan right in front of him red cheek their one-year other ear suit [Music] so it's when they're going to shake hands instead of fist bump because the fist bump happened on the coverage so control science shoes right arm in hand and I got is one thing I do when I take it off hand gestures or similar it's like I played out in my mind at least through my hand figure it out for myself see how it looks so okay this is my right hand when it's the gesture so let's see ideally Dolan would have his right hand out like that I think yeah I'd say thumb goes over his fingers go over so yeah thumb over fingers under right all right so let's cut Sonichu's thumb right there and his fingers downward like so leave the flat last one blank so it can make room for Dolan's fingers right up there don't thump right there and we'll draw the fourth finger on subtities pinky and so we'll just extend that arm out come back to Dolan a little bit first I'm going to finish drawing Sasha over here so we're going to get his in his chest and start on his left arm hello scamper I'm busy mice can't buy cats camper just entered I'll give him some petting later all right so Sasha yes then it's in that up gonna finish that skin that skin belly cause brown stripes plus the spikes on its back here's his tail [Music] hmm gonna play like down stand legs let's say like that the suck my shoe I say part of the shoe it's better to me tree or so okay we got Hachi almost done and uh hmm just some simple like that so he's guys left hand down like shaking Dolan's hand with his right with the reference of Dalton over here hmm we'll draw a circle for the head hmm can you even the drawn one eye and then the other [Music] okay so we're going to draw a stick eyebrows it must smile the darn old duck hat [Music] we have put Dolan's arm down as well just cuz he has three fingers let's deal with that give you four fingers I mean resume reason why they gave Mickey Mouse and all the others three fingers was because it was less expensive to draw that compared to torn that fourth finger Garn this so I'm going to get miss foot there and foot there we go nice there's Sonichu and Dolan let's give them a gentle general hey nice to meet you and say hi guys how you doing say hey are you doing okay come he's here stop it [Music] and all in nice to meet you [Music] yeah all right so that going on and then well I guess I won't be able to get roast you and goobie in the picture in the drawing now it's so small yeah but look I get Don say likewise how's it going like mice how's it going [Music] well all right so we got that speech balloon going on hmm where I got a background to definitely show because know we love details hmm but then again the backgrounds on the plant going videos or so minuscule like that so I'm gonna say for the mama we'll just do a simple city background they're standing nearby where the city is on one side of the road the traffic could be going we don't know what plan but doens planet looks like or all the little cows we're gonna add the street lines because it's divided you want cars going one way in the other and we gotta say the outside is like a park they're hanging out there meeting at park across the street from somewhere in the city so we'll get dropped few small buildings across we're outside walk make sure that sidewalks visible some nice room it's barely visible there but anyway so I guess I walk there and make sure the same draw window another window there's a simple door door knobs on the wrong side but who cares I mean nobody knows what these places are right now it's just so alright so this one's a lot this one to be a wine store we're going to put door over here just then this bottom part make it look like make it more obvious that it is a door everything will be coated later and behind the buildings we can add a little bit of roof top there and there's more buildings and we're just few skyscrapers looming over so that's basically simple now let's see for next panel for this two-part preview [Music] can I sell its side that simple idea we're just going to draw their faces I'm just going to zoom in on their faces so we start with his head are still looking each other like that facing each other and so mm-hmm sweet I mean where's my spiel of all up I hope that goes through your low to short wait that's a simple fits hmm actually Paul you did great job on this album and someone let's my gosh a little bit about that hey wait I'm so sorry took his hand back and I'm gonna say his arms his arms still down so there's that Bailey top part with his back spike it's a phone up and then circle for Dolan's head mm-hmm it's just his arms down so this other one because they're just talking and nice thick eyebrows so yeah what one was I personally called ahead me Christine Chandler over in the quick build dimension yeah so I call it ahead I set up this little meet greet and tour of flat Dolan well I'll go ahead and color go ahead Mike and I packed that piece of the hat alright so let's see sine she says [Music] I've been looking for I've have been looking forward to this tour since since Christine since Miss Christine I know how to differentiate that from me and his daughter is bisexual daughter anyway I have been looking for I've I want to try to save room for on the letters [Music] actually you know what nice and some more nice I've been looking forward to this tour my kids and Christine there you go our fans of yours [Music] this tour hmm my family and Christine özil family [Music] or faint our fans of yours [Music] all right so we just melt down off and then let's say simply put four darling we'll say awesome well we got a lot on plate doing let's start with the animation building alright so [Music] you've a lot on plant Dolan let's check out the animation department check out the nomination hmm let's check out the shelf at the building where the show is made where the shows are made hmm let's check out the studio there it is studio Oh something like make sure why don't you hey they have tons in them let's check out the studio so make that speech balloon and trying to separate that promise I choose balloon at the city background my window window not go bill see as much of the doors I can see more of the door of the building with the wide window right visit door knob I'm going to add a window step building and they're good and skyscrapers all right so that's one story arc because we're taking it we're all here except for wildin Simona because they stayed behind in quick fill because they promised to take sandy and subpoena to Busch Gardens a told Santi and his family died and I believe Sarah Sarah rose who she comments to what she says to wild and his family she says hey when their fathers as fast as not as fast as ours are and you got to spit and you got the foot speed that we did it's nearly the same as his you don't need a ball coaster ride you go on your own but obviously wild similar don't run as fast as our main sign chain nose - all right so part two this one idea I had so I'm going to try I'm going to try this in three I'm going to put this into three panels it's more tall than wide it's we're going to do there alright so another idea had so we got hell bent and Blake so the first blanks kind of mmm young essays neutral about it's up he's nutri about the trip so he's not angry yet so and drop Blake with us his eyes so yeah I mean comparing how they would be taught in like their so he's gonna be you know he's looking up yeah it's kind of neutral so it's good make his eyebrows kind of just making horizontal right he's drawing his head of course his head is black so we'll obviously color in the red later alright so what do I want to do with his arm since this is hell-bent coming along he just had hey he just said hey and I how's it going just say oh okay just here on the tour with just on tour with my family and friends and help and just look at the pic and art picking argument son side comment my father always like to pick an argument with me now and then I never was really fond of that it just would piss me off when he tried to pick an argument so let's see and I'm just here hanging on I guess some we can have him with his arms crossed so hmm say so I'm gonna put his hand going over there crossing arms difficult to draw so yeah it's kind of works cool that's good on crossing and it's so his legs bottom strike by mmm this little bit of a little tail good so he'll pack his head will be up here I'm a good goat I mean I look for everybody and plant darling on Twitter and also googled their characters to get their drawing references I know how to draw them yeah so a little easier you know education never knows where cheering cuz we're meeting nollie Shima but doopy ladybot and Ramona are there too hmm mommy well Seema yeah she's the party cast we did not like the male voice after in that last animated video if you can't get Shima but the actual Seema backup for a female voice actor with a kind of a similar deep tone voice what I'm saying anyway richer inform anyway that's for me that I'm personally cheering for hapc do P and ladybot that's me Dukey and ladybot but their words I'd see them all together anyway but - it's about to help it hmm start with join the bottom of his head have a flat shape and as a goatee he has kind of an elf ear just along with devil horns well why not have them both so so here is one horn here's the other so we're just going to write so here's his mouth right there hmm he's not angry yet because he's about to pick the fight with Blake here so leave his eyes kind of top flat and his eyebrows horizontal right so just going on from the eyes and then his hairstyle is purple hair and in the Google result in the Google image I got and I think also on his Twitter the hair his hair is purple don't ask me I thought his head was I thought here was black and hellbent if your hair is actually black that was just the image that just the one image or two then I apologize but in this sample comic we're giving you purple hair anyway so drawn to Nick there's a the colors of his the collars of his jacket hmm let's see what else ain't in here collar of his shirt underneath his jacket didn't miss me buckles hmm I think there's three by guy's hand covered up anyway on this so let's see who all right let's say he has his right in his right arm and hand despite we'll give him a lit cigarette helps us a few puffs of smoke coming from it and I'll gotta say he's pointing this left hand directing to Blake [Music] because he's got a few things say few things to make just four complaints about towards the side to Brandon some of the problems we've had really that's part of his belt mmm say legs there you go all right so giving this thumb this index finger and then the other two on this hand and not long enough there we go all right so it helped us mean the filmmaker so let's see [Music] yes oh yeah he said well I've heard you've got copyright troubles and your books in your creators realm dimension [Music] copyright problems in Christine's real dimension [Music] real life dimension [Music] hmm giving this speech balloon and then like counters he says well we've got all that sorted up it's a silent agreement [Music] all that I can write small but sometimes the long but when you got a word in with a longer words it's just not enough room [Music] and I don't have enough word no ferment me mmm I think I'll skip the typing when I submit this I'll know I want to give this thing full effort but I mean still just not fit words and difficulty proposed speech of speech balloons alright so in a later part stop my knocking help and drags Blake down into his hellhole which literally is hell that's let's say right now there's still above ground [Music] let's give them a Cygnus give them a city background - for now so building and camera angles and put right doorknob the window there Ausmus skyscrapers scraper lines alright that's panel one beginning of that argument [Music] and I forgot one thing I don't have room for he's got a little bit more hair coming down the side of his head over here shoot no I can't think I everything you've once got try anyway all right so all right so right now we're going to zoom in on their heads like we did up there mm mm aw hell pants head and maybe night so I'll give his little little bit ear there here's this goatee make his mouth bigger cuz he's really when yours is frown you really wants to start trouble now [Music] he's really close to his shoulder out that's when we're getting that there all right now we can get back his hair that we forgot to draw there [Music] and then we'll draw a close-up of like just [Music] [Music] okay now like is starting to get his frown on normally he doesn't like to start and I'd like to start an argument or pick white especially since he's been reformed by bubbles but at this point he's like he'll defend his family and friends and creator of course that's me and everything about the water quick bill so he slashed his shoulder for - all right so we got he'll been saying I really Bizet's me all the orders making comment combination of a hedgehog and a mouse [Music] the [Music] and Yuri [Music] you date a combination you taint a combo of it dogs and mice [Music] young two exclamation marks for that trollish piece of hate and now it likes defense his quip is like [Music] I don't like to take arguments [Music] but that's my family you're talking about [Music] that's my family you're hating at [Music] hey net 12 give three exclamation marks blood boiling blood boarding and just you gotta rotate this love and like love like you know give each other they hate I so much was between but a combination the flames and electricity between the halves of them and there's Lehman a thorough the moment [Music] really really angered bring such movies I do [Music] toss some lightning bolts because they're coming I was red cheek now [Music] he's really really angry [Music] in a fist raised [Music] yeah here goes out but this my rage [Music] it'll need fire in his eyes cuz he's got the flames of hell behind him who Shh [Music] we'll turn the flame the hell behind him in on my went as soon as I get his heron whatever else I can fit into this panel done here's the foreground characters come first you want to make sure you can put your background behind everybody [Music] [Music] there's this first [Music] I'll take it loosen up buckle their swimming sure that's there [Music] you gonna knuckle there that's for sure nice isn't it I'm and I hope I didn't just accidentally press the wrong button from that from knocking my controller down we're still on their wrists on there you ever saw on the air alright I've got to music so mmm kind of a mash of opposing as you got it hiding behind am [Music] then here comes the flames behind hell-bent for and that's me of that story our tremor and then I did take a brief moment to cool down if I may [Applause] [Music] [Music] I never want to think I will I mean I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do for the third story our trailer on yeah yeah I wanted to do like kind of a verbal debate between magic Chan and Nitz iam magic ten Silvana stays behind by magic chant he teleports everybody from quick Virginia to plant Dolan jokingly actually located on the other side of the United States that's the joke the actual headquarters being over there so I think for oh yeah and just goes toast just watching them debate he's not putting input at all as they're talking all right so let's just I went to draw close-up of magic Chan and that time copy and paste what I have you pasted this stuff like it'll work [Music] as you see with the idea being since nityam is the Lord of the Dead and magic chant is psychic they would be able to have kind of a meaningful discussion about life death and maybe museums goals as or the dead still up for debate what NIT cm would say because that's commenting on how magic an appropriately responds yes so those right arm cause he's in a meditate seat same position [Music] now his hand on one leg [Music] and on the other leg hmm still trying to still point down from and pathetically raising my anger [Music] eight minutes oh shoot yes the lake is crossing his legs of course those let's past Vince's suck and we need to give them this tail [Music] and then withdraw Mitsy I'm over here placing match in hmm it's gone I've got kind of an oddly shaped head from the image I found especially with this hairstyle to go with it so we'll start there's ice and his bushy eyebrows his nose down there and I guess its tongue would be gray that's my guess I don't I can't say off top of my memory because it comes to top 10 videos when I do paper I do watch the aunt wants the animations and whatnot I miss a detail sometimes honey I should like clip miss pay attention to the details some pay attention to the script it's somewhat important right so drawers hairdos guys put down hmm and see give him his neck I'd give him a bit more hair behind him from the collar of his armor gel coat whatever is that shoulder pad on both sides ah Joon too close no I will just his arm to his side for the moment there so withdraw his other arm the guy give him is unrequited unnecessary pectoral images and he needs his ears [Music] right so like I remember what not I remember oh and those toast just speculating [Music] hi son waiter both way up in the sky net they're both high up in the sky so we so when I get to the back when I could draw a few clouds all right sorry way speculate saw being dead is awesome and he agrees with him to a point but then I mean like I remember when my magic chance points because he made a good point I just came member I said there ah [Music] I think I'm starting to get a memory considering you are Lord of the Dead do you can see yourself lord over their souls [Music] see [Music] Lord of their souls the way I see it [Music] you write you reign over the deceased bodies [Music] [Music] and you conserve those at your command [Music] all those bodies without their souls [Music] [Music] [Music] and I'm just going to speculate on what how knits ium would reply to a question like that get their side of the page here let's see I think I imagined he would respond [Music] well you see well I do command the dead bodies [Music] [Music] hmm and those bodies are without their souls [Music] [Music] [Music] hmm then he thinks for a moment hmm now their souls I'm all of the dead bodies but their souls are up long have long left those bodies when I come to claim those bodies [Music] Peter reincarnated up in heaven our Hale I'm just going to the dead bodies hmm [Music] all right so he's thinking all this and his name his mind while he's processing this questioning of him being totally Lord of the Dead all right so we put a little space for his moot group room for thought his thinking [Music] and a hint in initially and response' you prove Rebecca you prove of great points [Music] you prove a great point as the souls and spirits are still alive [Music] and we'll just leave at that and I'm going to draw cloud there mmm the clout there and now we can do background because we just give them one portion because here this is one portion of their debate show discussion now we can now I'm just going to come back to the ps4 and put for a moment I just want to make sure we're still on the air we'll color this in we're still on the air oops all right let me get my markers and we'll color everybody in I like to color the characters in first and foremost and I like to try using going through these in the same color where it is respectively throughout until when I have exhausted the need for that one color so we're starting with the flesh tone put-down starting on the first sides your drawing here and Saatchi and Dolan has no flesh on eyes no push tone on him so we'll move on then it's turn down to the next size shoe and like yes he has at that color on his mouth area and his arms as well so we'll take care of all that hmm we'll take this small bits and get to him over here and of course my dad chin [Music] all right pick another color we'll go with the basic yellow but because it's a minor detail all detail but one that should not be missed regardless magic Chan's eyes are yellow so we go ahead take care of that and then we'll talk Oh in sideshow in this panel [Music] and by the way in case you and just to put into a kind of a perspective this is essentially a normal thought process of a go through as I drawn right each actual page in my book so if you ever wonder for yourselves how long it takes for me to draw and color a page you can start the timer when I started drawing this page and up to when I made the last hand contact point in the bottom there say that's the time and then to separate you can mark the time when I pulled out my markers and I started the coloring process you combine those two times that would be a nest a rough estimate how long it takes me to color to draw right and color a full page in my books I say we're going to do green for the eyes I know it's a tedious it's kind of a it's a long process considering but when you consider all the details throughout and the folk and the final product being finished event soon enough it's worth it love colors did it the day yeah we got the red so we're going to hmm coloring going to give help in his reddish glow Oh his eyes are yellow too I see this is a thing this is an earth thing but I got a do character I'm doing a new character and I'm not familiar not have it drawn that character as often as often as my main characters it's a whole new thing for me to add to my get used to list that's one I do want to work around and get used to anyhow say wait to continue coloring room help at his reddish glow [Music] kamesh tongue [Music] we'll get to the roof of the colors of the roof of their mouth later by bringing that one darker shade of red like using for that particular in Santa one miss a piggy tail so that's his bottom stripe and that's the end of his mince and it was tail and then I realize I should draw on his tail going upward now well in aspect you could say his tail is going straight out [Music] it's like an open interpretation right there anyway mmm oh but also I try so when coloring or drawing with my pen well moreover on the coloring aspect I tried to go from left to right as I am right-handed oh so I don't accidentally get the ink on my hand [Music] take notes my nerdlings cuz these are valuable assets of knowledge that you can take I can you can attribute for yourself in your own drawing skills that you learn throughout your lifetime not taking a lot of our classes throughout my lifetime and that's written regardless of my final abilities being considerably childlike it's still a skill that I own especially with the markers and whatnot and you couple that with the autism and attention to details yada-yada-yada attention deficit disorder it kind of bounces out really [Music] but again that's their own interpretation to make as you will versus what I have in my noggin for my own perception [Music] don't have to color in there Mouse here cuz is there he's just showing your teeth [Music] Oh just scowling that stares to where the day right there scowling [Music] not the a it's a word of the day if you don't know that word then they go it's your word of the day scowling let me lead at the bottom of his eyes on color because their foot there and flamed with the orange colored because he's that angry [Music] we'll get that little bit and so thinking about then I take the darker shade of red and I take the orange oh I missed a spot yeah pay attention to the script it's somewhat important you never got to come and magic chance tongue - this is why you pay attention to the script if you don't want to miss a detail hi Mike oh right mouth coloring so dark a sheet of red on inside of mouth and now the orange for to accentuate the flames the bang of upset and anger and Blake's eyes there yeah yeah when it comes to selecting the color I go with the colors of the first thing I'm going to color in and then I just relate that now on so that step I'm going to go with my very charged blue and get that out of the way because I like doing the make sure I got all the brighter colors either way before I do anything the black or brown is if I code if I did the reverse I could accidentally get brown on the lighter color I don't think we have any this shade of blue on match and so we're good to go or do the brown next for the stripes on this soon is back his tail right there this one right here does anybody else need the brown go south needs brown but it's a lighter shade because he's not burnt to a crisp that's so I am complete I say plaque for the very last color throughout regardless because that's the darkest color of all you don't want to get that anywhere on any of your other marker colors so with that we'll go with a dark shade of blue as that it's not only a color of certain portion a Magi-Chan but also Dolan's hat [Music] hey does anybody see my hat I can't go out anywhere without my hat then I just look like Zahra gamba put our beard if you shave this year but we both look alike could you be able to tell us apart yeah he's washed down oh yeah there you go free imitation of Dolan free vocal imitation at Dolan [Music] mmm anybody else checking hell-bent as well let miss spot there mmm I guess I got everybody with the shade of blue all right so ever got next I say black the last hmm I'd say we go with the boil purple he also kind of has the yo reddish color there um let's see I think that was either I think that was this shade or I can't forget which one I use it's probably this one or yeah that does not look like the wine it's kind of more like the shade of purple hmm I'm just going to sneak that in and see how it looks it see it looks sing huh I guess I remember correctly that is the shade that is the correct color for hellbent shirt because when did I draw this I do this on the 30th which was a week in the day ago drew and colored that same day yeah we want to just go ahead and color and tell bents shirt guys his colors black ah off its it later because black supersedes all other colors as it being the darkest and you put black over any color why does it changed - it just all goes directly to black do not pass go do not collect $200 three cents or but the donuts alright so now doing the world purple this is the color we're using for help it's hair as that was the original shipment was yes is the darkest shade of purple I have so propo or black this close and again if it is black guy if this here your hair is black help it I sincerely apologize you can collect me later [Music] I just felt that office I felt like I needed to fix that then the side side way view panel now if I actually had this head Malone horizontally I had done this without having to rotate the page that's neither here nor there right now because it's already done [Music] also the situation as to why we have these pre-drawn four lines to make the rectangle of this particular piece of paper is actually a neutral well upgrade will recently to be reminiscent of mmm DPR of pixels 1325 by 2050 that is the rector is the usage for that of when I upload the pages to my publishers website that is the page size for those book those comic book pages and so since we got the purple ending on magic Chan we're going to swap to the lavender and finish coloring magic Chan over here so anyway with these all free with the lines pre-drawn all round and foot and foot a copy in that sense [Music] versus if I use the whole sheet of paper when scanning the page into the computer it would cut off from the edges anyway so it's just easier to have the lines they are already then it's more accurate to the page and verses the original size I have let's actually this one on the back this originally was about that's how you see it's wider almost as tall and as you can see in books 0 through 10 and up to the new up to episode 23 Simon shoe and banana funcle' in book eleven after that's published yeah the previous the past pages will been like originally widescreen but then smushed horizontally so from here on so from 23 on outs to since we got that page size page dimensions set then they don't end up looking so horizontally smushed that's the idea [Music] and I'm going to go ahead coloring ghost toast with the lightest shade of brown I have which is this coffee it comes out looking like coffee so I call my coffee my coffee brown go there you go toasty bud all right finishing hell-bent jackets need some new gray mm his cuffs are gray and we dunk we can't see his belt buckle so it's not a karma thing hmm I like using the pen for shading for coloring in the pupils of the eyes versus using a marker to color that in as in it reflects more emotionally out of from the eyes using the pen in that sense and it's seen its ium has lots of gray on him even to use a darker even to use darker shade teens up using both my shades of gray so we'll go ahead and color him in now he's going with the lighter shade they go respectively his head is all this light shade but surely is inside of his mouth is a darker shade put my shade on where to go on his battle suit whatever he wants to call it on his ears are this light grey too [Music] my color around his bushy eyebrows in the edge of his head shape oops we'll finish coloring mitzi on with the kind of forest green but will gain the darker gray areas first now there's a mouth now go ahead get your other shoulder and then the rest of his [Music] [Music] okay that's all the gray now to get in his green highlights to finish calling Kim in all together [Music] alright then just giving out our look over will finish calling the characters now with the block we cut we got all the other color aspects in so now we're ready to use the black when we go in the ears nose Dolan's hat rim and his thing that's going to get that give me layered on my and yes help add to this and his eyebrows and his jacket and belt [Music] [Music] you won't be able to see his puffs of smoke from here on out but if you're watching this video before actually seeing this image is drawing after it skinned out and his shirt-collar then you have definitely appreciate the fact that those puffs of smoke were there and that's what happens when you color over pen ink with black marker that's at your own risk one minor detail but one thing we can do to accentuate that that is a cigarette we can emphasize the ash Hado spot of light grade take care of that [Music] super tips available from Crayola [Music] they'll be a while before I get those scented markers super tip markers back or nurse said those bring back the super spring right the scented super tips Crayola because those were good especially in the shade and actually match with what I was using previously versus but you repackaged more recently oh I missed a spot with a blush color a sorbet I'm busy right now baby I give you some petting culling later not right now it's definitely still too early to feed you I feed you I fed you less a couple hours ago all right so I'll calm down I'll give you some more love later cuz I'm busy right now ring definitely tied to stick sex uh a steady hand as possible and skill to get in all these little tiny stage [Music] the concentration helps to don't make this a cat video sorbet you stay off my desk side boy shit boy shitty boy forever ever ever let my family are talking about [Music] thank you [Music] and after we get all these blacks colored in we'll color in the background parts because like I said it's important to having all your characters colored first cuz you know how to do them and you gotta stretch your mind a little bit to remember what you have going on in the background so you know what to color them when you get to that point anyway that's part of my process and there's another one there's another spot a nest yeah well yeah help put up on this just might be true it's that little thing yeah Blake's on to you are ya up black but the shades of black if not darker [Music] and that's why the salad arm shades of grey' versus react because gray is brighter than black you can add more you can AB I make sure it's a black can you have before it just looks like smoke with sunshine Bart gleaming through it from a fire somewhere and even then it could still look great also [Music] [Music] ah Sam has no black required so we just color in the black on magic chin find a once-over on the page and then yeah that's all the characters now we can color in the background telling the background let's start by calling in the windows of the clip more close buildings but this shade of blue because it's daytime if it was nighttime I'd be painting them yellow cause the lights will be on on the inside of the building [Music] men is this building over here your dish we know hmm I'm gonna leave the background of this panel blank because it's been in between the normal back information know what we have without any emotion going on and then followed by heated with emotion we'll just for a moment for a while with the doors we'll get them all these dandelion colored doorknobs where we can find the doorknobs and they will all be red wood this is a reddish round we have here and this is what the scented markers this one is a Cynthia shade is cinnamon scented so that's their term for this reddish brown cinnamon it's all about in the color wheel and all them very ingredients you see when you select your shade you want in any artistic program hmm and then what else do you wanna do now I have the laser lemon I like using this because I like using this sometimes force and the brightest shade of sand because after this shade gets scanned in it becomes a sand look so we're going to use this for the color of sidewalk here [Music] you know this is Partizan walk you know we're behind like and hell-bent and give that a laser lemon to and for the program for the fact that becomes sand like at once at one point so what so many years ago I wear pants on I love Kurtz aren't you with leis and lemon well obviously that did not work out so well like that so that's one went with one shade up to better to a little berry yellow and so we're going to leave the median line white and just paint the room and just cleared the road the darker gray ya realize my mistake nice end of standing over on the first part so I gotta make it all consistent and I don't want to say for the sake of the background with all the varying buildings therein make them all darker gray because I supposed to be daytime so for the buildings in the background who use the lighter gray and after that I'll decide one want to paint the buildings in the foreground because when you're talking about all the varying buildings in the farther background I slept up to your interpretation just like the people you don't know exactly who or what they each are aside from being men women or however address to identify you mostly go neutral with that just like it go with the buildings behind you I'll make the mark on neutral as well as they more or less look similar to the distant few points [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] and one thing that I ended up do end up doing sometimes when I'm drawing and coming for a while I get in the mental zone and I just zoned out for a little bit it's good that's just one thing while right along for when you're drawing or coloring that specific part you know what you're doing you're going with the flow it's good it's very good good for you if you're at that time that perspective you're blocking out all other things outside of you when you're in that mindset you're in the zone I'm going to go ahead and color in the grass here to dull in science you're standing on I'm going to take the lightest shade of green I have and colored that in because once again it's daytime [Music] now for the buildings up front here hmm design decisions decisions what color do I want to make these particular buildings that are in the middle ground between the four and the farthest background so many decisions but in this one I think I'm going to go with the dark shade of red to make the ones on the left and the right brick light and here we'll do it up a little bit I'm going to make the middle building kind of gray and the roof from the roofs of these buildings will make them recover the darker gray [Music] during this one building - it totally up to you your city your building unless it's a specific building that you're going further into developing like a museum then just leave it as whatever you like just make it look differing or whatever so good [Music] I'm gonna go ahead and color in these rooftops [Music] it definitely differentiates the foreground buildings versus the tall skyscrapers behind them all how they work are in the middle building we're gonna help and there are detail we looked I go back and fits this one and just for hell that will cover both those buildings the light shade of gray [Applause] [Music] [Music] little bit behind yell bass book [Music] alright done all that done now we start on this complex background behind help ends in flake mixture of fire and lightning what we're going to do is start with the brightest color which that would be the yellow for all the lightning bolts we're just going to fill those in the ones are emanating from Blake's cheeks as well as these obvious ones right here [Music] yeah I think I'll do good mmm let's see make it look like menacing Thunder to thunderstorm coming about so yes we'll make the remainder of the background a midnight blue so being careful is to go around the outline with these new lightning bolts thunderstorms are coming lake is really really angry [Music] I'm sure they'll come up much more cleared at least after scan the difference between the black and the midnight blue I could see it right off that's directly an aspect of autism that apparently autistic people can see the colors more brightly more vividly than the neurotypical person could but again that's wasn't the video information was in the video I saw recently I will not come I will not confirm or deny it I don't know all the details that's an aspect that needs to that could be experimented list between an average a number of set number of people with autism and a set number of neurotypical people [Music] maybe I can be something the Mythbusters could get on the new generation of Mythbusters [Music] hee hee [Music] okay that takes care of Blake's half now with hell-bent because we're talking about fire in the background we'll go with the bowl shape the two shades of orange I have hmm yeah and plus the bright shade of red so we'll go ahead use the red for the bottom because that's where the flames are started and that's darkest and that's source the flames and we'll go up to the darker range floor up to a certain point going up the flames and concern since it's since red blends well with orange because orange is a mixture of yellow and red that's okay to mix with the red since Red's darker but you definitely don't want to mix it with yellow and that would just make her neck bunch of yellow orange more darker you don't want to do that especially if you want reference difference between lightning and fire yes I think I'm going to leave it there and then we'll go with our brightest orange and filling the remainder of this background this one smells like orange oranges all right we're almost done with this piece all we have left is to color the sky behind magic Chan and knit Siong so we'll take the brightest shade of blue I have here between where it goes start being more blue and where it becomes blue green or turquoise sky blue [Music] it's kind of a straightforward process from here it's sunk because to avoid the clouds that remain white it's one cup it's one singular color and it is good [Music] you can lose yourself while your don't buy your coloring in the bulk color of a background and once again being in the zone there it is good [Music] in [Music] [Music] I'm done with this one piece you doopy doopy doopy doopy tada and then since this is a not official comic page but more like a trailer and it is a piece I put my name on it no idea baby and I did it and there you go and this right here is what I will be submitting to plant darling for the little contest and I'll just go back to the PlayStation make sure we're still on here all right good and I believe that would be that will do it for now so thank you everyone for watching this live stream and I look forward to five dull in reviewing this for dares for their submission everyone else have a great safe night day whatever it is time zone

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 05052017]]|nextlink=[[Minor Update, Handouts!]]}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2017]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Live Drawing Streams

2022-12-21T01:45:32Z

RoseSparrow: /* Transcript */

{{transcript}}

'''Live Drawing Streams''' are videos of Chris drawing new pages of Sonichu. All videos contain a description reading:

{{quotebox|This is the Official YouTube channel of the one and only creator and author of the Sonichu and Rosechu series, Christine Weston Chandler (AKA Christian, Christopher, Chris Chan, Ricardo); me. Links to my personal Facebook and Twitter pages, as well as my stores of Sonichu and Rosechu, and self, merchandise are available for purchase. Among which, more items are to come in the future, so stay tuned for the updates when I make them personally.}}

==05082017==

Chris spends 39 minutes drawing line work for one page of [[Sonichu 11]], the first new page created 561 days after he quit working on the comic in 2015. And in a move rivaling that of the [[Brutal Legend]] video, Chris's voice is not heard throughout the live stream, though the Playroom theme continues to drone on. Clearly it was [[Chris and work|too much of a hassle]] to do a simple mic check before starting the stream, showing that [[Chris and cinematography|old habits die hard]] when it comes to Chris.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Live Drawing Stream - 05082017
| ytid = EMXmZn-jb1Q
| stardate = 8 [[May 2017]]
| saga = {{Business|text}}
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{The Happy Hag|text}}
| previous = [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 05052017]]
| next = [[Live Drawing Streams#05142017|05142017]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|For continued peace of my mind that will keep the drawing spark lit, please Donate or Pledge some money my way. Thank You All for your loyalty, fandom and patience.

Donate directly via PayPal to my email address. Or Pledge to my Patreon.}}

==05142017==

Chris spends 1 hour and 38 minutes drawing, still with the mic off - even though he is seen talking during the livestream. He reveals that he is re-using his technique of including photos of himself for comic panels, which he had done in [[Sonichu 6]]. He requests donations of $10 each through Paypal.me or a pledge on [[Patreon]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Live Drawing Stream - 05142017
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uaLtfgVpl_U}}
| stardate = 14 [[May 2017]]
| saga = {{Business|text}}, {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{(Handouts)|text}}, {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Live Drawing Streams#05082017|05082017]]
| next = [[Live Drawing Streams#05152017|05152017]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|Please donate directly at http://www.paypal.me/CwcvilleGuardian/10. Or you may pledge a monthly amount on my Patreon. My mom and I Really Need more money right now, Please. Thank You All.}}

==05152017==

Chris remembers to use the mic this time. He films himself using Photoshop on a laptop for an hour and a half, putting together a collage of photos of himself and his parents mixed with drawings of the Sonichu klan.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Live Drawing Stream - 05152017
| video = {{#ev:youtube|O7XXk6XX2lY}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 2017]]
| saga = {{Business|text}}, {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Live Drawing Streams#05142017|05142017]]
| next = [[Minor Update, Handouts!#Minor Update, plus we need more money, Please.|Minor Update, plus we need more money, Please.]]
}}

===Description===

{{quotebox|PLEASE DONATE BIG NOW! http://www.paypal.me/CwcvilleGuardian/5
Thank You}}

[[File:Cwc's sonichu family.jpg|thumb|500px|The end result of hours of drawing and editing.]]

===Transcript===
[''Chris stands in the middle of his room'']--ve fro--from home once again, with another live drawing... special. But except this time, we have already done the drawings, and scanned them into the computer... of which we are going to put... these pictures... onto to the pre... taken... photographs... for my--for the eleventh book. So, right now, I'll be transferring you live to my laptop. (ugh) And I gotta switch the input, well, wait, no I dont- yes I do. Cause I want my Britney Spears to... [Unintelligable] I want my Britney Spears...

Alright so yeah; y´all get to see my laptop for once. Okay so right I have my flashdrive with the photographs for these special portions of the special pannels for these pages... For this- for this video were gonna- were gonna put together the group photo in front of the house.
So anyways im on my external flashdrive... Find the photo...Okay so thats the first photo, and we need to resize it, [ugh] not only for the resolution, but for the width of the page- pannel. And we gotta have the resolutions match, uh so anyways as for to match with what I have so far for a previous idea, I got out me and my mom and my dad I have the picture so I gotta find the file with these cropped out portions that ive already made. I printed these out for my s- for my referance. I may have to do a little erasing on the pictres itself as I put em´ in and of course they´ll be resized, they´ll individually resized to match. Aight so- so thats me, and im bringing in my mom, and the reason her legs look green is because this was a photo taken were she was standing in the garden. But for the sake- but fortunatley these two pictures of my dad and my mom were from the same photograph, except for the sweater, and I had to give her her house coat and I had to give him his sweater cause it was- cause in the book here it was December 2008.

Oh by the way any time during this video... please, please, /please/ donate to the link below in the description of this livestream. I´m only gonna ask that once for right now while I work on this.
Anyways I gotta get it all sized to match so we´re gonna- so we´re [unintelligable] gonna take care of that first and take it- my polygon and zoom in on me first cause I´m in the center of the thing, and were just gonna crop me out... uhm and this is a recent photo sure but you did know that this shirt still did exist back in 2008,
and this is part of the story where I ended up cause I- cause this verion of myself has seen me in the future, which is the present, and I´m gettin´ a head start in 2008 essentiallly so just ignore the braclet on my arm. Just pretend this picture is part of a 2008 group photo.

Doo doo doot [extended silence with pop music in the backround]. Alright [sigh], click, uh oh! Am I in the right layer? Aw shoot. Alright, now I got-- Okay here's the layer. Alright, get rid of this thing. [''Chris deletes the previous layer and sighs again''] Get rid of this- cardboard cutout. And, kinda, resizing myself in reference to- the doorframe, im holding the shift button so it all stays constrained and proportioned- bout' that tall per say in relation to the door- and we're gonna put me about there. [''Chris moves a shitty cutout of himself next to a group of trashcans''] Or abouts, over there, and in reference to the photo I end up being a little larger cuz im closer to the foreground, so im going with the photo reference where my head goes a little bit above the window- there[??? the fuck does any of this mean]. Hmmm... [something] go about... hmmm... hmmm... I need about one more bar up there-- Okay press enter to accept that for now. Now.. my mom, jus' gonna do the same thing here.. [Chris drags a photo of a younger barb in a garden on screen] crop around the photo. At least this time I can go in a little bit cuz..... [long pause] The house coat was part- was- this part was actually from another photo..... But because I didnt- Because I didnt have the full... house coat... I had to make do with a buncha white. A whooole lot of...... White- To make the appearance of- the remaining house colt- house coat. While having the rest of my mother por...trayed here but, as she was, in this separate photo where she's kneeling in the garden. [8:15
{{Transcript}}
 

==06072017==

Chris spends an hour and 44 minutes drawing and coloring a page for the original [[Sonichu 12-9| ''Sonichu #12-9]], which was originally a crossover story between Sonichu and characters from YouTube channel [[DoopieDoOver|Planet Dolan]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Live Drawing Stream - 06072017
| video = {{#ev:youtube|nWhCMJJkahg}}
| stardate = 7 [[June 2017]]
| saga = {{Business|text}}
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{(Clopper)|text}}
| previous = [[CLog 06072017]]
| next = [[Poetic Letter]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|Pledge today for sneak peeks at the pages of the to-be-published books, and autographed copies of my past books.

<nowiki>https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4525122</nowiki>

Direct Donations are also accepted.

<nowiki>http://www.paypal.me/CwcvilleGuardian/1</nowiki>

<nowiki>**Ashleigh Balls's "Love Is Gold" Album playing in background; available for download and Compact Disc.</nowiki>}}

===Transcript===

Live from home, and...I just heard that [[Planet Dolan]]'s doing a drawing competition. So, with what I started as just a cover, I'm gonna do as an entry for the contest--I see it as a [something]-ful opportunity. So without further ado, let's get y'all down to [[Chris and art|my drawing level]].

[Chris aims the camera at the desk. The camera begins wobbling.]

I'm going to put this on my other...

[Chris push a button on a remote, chortles, and adjusts the camera.]

(mumbling) Yeah, make sure... Mm... Uhn... Don't, nowait-- I mean it's down there, not up here.

Anyway, so, in the meantime, I'm puttin' this on my PC so we can enjoy...the music...that I like to listen to.

[Music starts.]

This is music from uh, Ashleigh Ball's new album, Love is Gold. It is very good, seven tracks. My favorite song of it is Shining Colors but all her songs are catchy. So with her music being included, uh, I give credit to her regardless... Uh, this video will not be monetized.

But anyway, um... So with that, what I'm going to do is... I'm making three section, as in what I had in my idea for...amongst the story arcs of my Sonichu / Planet Dolan [[Sonichu 12-9#Production notes|crossover special]]. It'd just be kinda like a preview, like a trailer kinda thing. So, it'd be like... One story arc section there [points at top panel], then another one here [points at middle panel], and then a third one there [points at bottom panel]. And this one-page trailer, "trailer" using quotes, will be my entry into the--into this competition. So without further ado, here's a live art drawing stream.

[2:03]

all right takes me what I think you let's put the top section to two halves to make for the first section of which let's do this sont you and roast you meet Dolan a newbie so let's get sawed you start over here [Music] that's a angling his nice how where he's looking gonna be looking at plant doll at danger dolan right in front of him red cheek their one-year other ear suit [Music] so it's when they're going to shake hands instead of fist bump because the fist bump happened on the coverage so control science shoes right arm in hand and I got is one thing I do when I take it off hand gestures or similar it's like I played out in my mind at least through my hand figure it out for myself see how it looks so okay this is my right hand when it's the gesture so let's see ideally Dolan would have his right hand out like that I think yeah I'd say thumb goes over his fingers go over so yeah thumb over fingers under right all right so let's cut Sonichu's thumb right there and his fingers downward like so leave the flat last one blank so it can make room for Dolan's fingers right up there don't thump right there and we'll draw the fourth finger on subtities pinky and so we'll just extend that arm out come back to Dolan a little bit first I'm going to finish drawing Sasha over here so we're going to get his in his chest and start on his left arm hello scamper I'm busy mice can't buy cats camper just entered I'll give him some petting later all right so Sasha yes then it's in that up gonna finish that skin that skin belly cause brown stripes plus the spikes on its back here's his tail [Music] hmm gonna play like down stand legs let's say like that the suck my shoe I say part of the shoe it's better to me tree or so okay we got Hachi almost done and uh hmm just some simple like that so he's guys left hand down like shaking Dolan's hand with his right with the reference of Dalton over here hmm we'll draw a circle for the head hmm can you even the drawn one eye and then the other [Music] okay so we're going to draw a stick eyebrows it must smile the darn old duck hat [Music] we have put Dolan's arm down as well just cuz he has three fingers let's deal with that give you four fingers I mean resume reason why they gave Mickey Mouse and all the others three fingers was because it was less expensive to draw that compared to torn that fourth finger Garn this so I'm going to get miss foot there and foot there we go nice there's Sonichu and Dolan let's give them a gentle general hey nice to meet you and say hi guys how you doing say hey are you doing okay come he's here stop it [Music] and all in nice to meet you [Music] yeah all right so that going on and then well I guess I won't be able to get roast you and goobie in the picture in the drawing now it's so small yeah but look I get Don say likewise how's it going like mice how's it going [Music] well all right so we got that speech balloon going on hmm where I got a background to definitely show because know we love details hmm but then again the backgrounds on the plant going videos or so minuscule like that so I'm gonna say for the mama we'll just do a simple city background they're standing nearby where the city is on one side of the road the traffic could be going we don't know what plan but doens planet looks like or all the little cows we're gonna add the street lines because it's divided you want cars going one way in the other and we gotta say the outside is like a park they're hanging out there meeting at park across the street from somewhere in the city so we'll get dropped few small buildings across we're outside walk make sure that sidewalks visible some nice room it's barely visible there but anyway so I guess I walk there and make sure the same draw window another window there's a simple door door knobs on the wrong side but who cares I mean nobody knows what these places are right now it's just so alright so this one's a lot this one to be a wine store we're going to put door over here just then this bottom part make it look like make it more obvious that it is a door everything will be coated later and behind the buildings we can add a little bit of roof top there and there's more buildings and we're just few skyscrapers looming over so that's basically simple now let's see for next panel for this two-part preview [Music] can I sell its side that simple idea we're just going to draw their faces I'm just going to zoom in on their faces so we start with his head are still looking each other like that facing each other and so mm-hmm sweet I mean where's my spiel of all up I hope that goes through your low to short wait that's a simple fits hmm actually Paul you did great job on this album and someone let's my gosh a little bit about that hey wait I'm so sorry took his hand back and I'm gonna say his arms his arms still down so there's that Bailey top part with his back spike it's a phone up and then circle for Dolan's head mm-hmm it's just his arms down so this other one because they're just talking and nice thick eyebrows so yeah what one was I personally called ahead me Christine Chandler over in the quick build dimension yeah so I call it ahead I set up this little meet greet and tour of flat Dolan well I'll go ahead and color go ahead Mike and I packed that piece of the hat alright so let's see sine she says [Music] I've been looking for I've have been looking forward to this tour since since Christine since Miss Christine I know how to differentiate that from me and his daughter is bisexual daughter anyway I have been looking for I've I want to try to save room for on the letters [Music] actually you know what nice and some more nice I've been looking forward to this tour my kids and Christine there you go our fans of yours [Music] this tour hmm my family and Christine özil family [Music] or faint our fans of yours [Music] all right so we just melt down off and then let's say simply put four darling we'll say awesome well we got a lot on plate doing let's start with the animation building alright so [Music] you've a lot on plant Dolan let's check out the animation department check out the nomination hmm let's check out the shelf at the building where the show is made where the shows are made hmm let's check out the studio there it is studio Oh something like make sure why don't you hey they have tons in them let's check out the studio so make that speech balloon and trying to separate that promise I choose balloon at the city background my window window not go bill see as much of the doors I can see more of the door of the building with the wide window right visit door knob I'm going to add a window step building and they're good and skyscrapers all right so that's one story arc because we're taking it we're all here except for wildin Simona because they stayed behind in quick fill because they promised to take sandy and subpoena to Busch Gardens a told Santi and his family died and I believe Sarah Sarah rose who she comments to what she says to wild and his family she says hey when their fathers as fast as not as fast as ours are and you got to spit and you got the foot speed that we did it's nearly the same as his you don't need a ball coaster ride you go on your own but obviously wild similar don't run as fast as our main sign chain nose - all right so part two this one idea I had so I'm going to try I'm going to try this in three I'm going to put this into three panels it's more tall than wide it's we're going to do there alright so another idea had so we got hell bent and Blake so the first blanks kind of mmm young essays neutral about it's up he's nutri about the trip so he's not angry yet so and drop Blake with us his eyes so yeah I mean comparing how they would be taught in like their so he's gonna be you know he's looking up yeah it's kind of neutral so it's good make his eyebrows kind of just making horizontal right he's drawing his head of course his head is black so we'll obviously color in the red later alright so what do I want to do with his arm since this is hell-bent coming along he just had hey he just said hey and I how's it going just say oh okay just here on the tour with just on tour with my family and friends and help and just look at the pic and art picking argument son side comment my father always like to pick an argument with me now and then I never was really fond of that it just would piss me off when he tried to pick an argument so let's see and I'm just here hanging on I guess some we can have him with his arms crossed so hmm say so I'm gonna put his hand going over there crossing arms difficult to draw so yeah it's kind of works cool that's good on crossing and it's so his legs bottom strike by mmm this little bit of a little tail good so he'll pack his head will be up here I'm a good goat I mean I look for everybody and plant darling on Twitter and also googled their characters to get their drawing references I know how to draw them yeah so a little easier you know education never knows where cheering cuz we're meeting nollie Shima but doopy ladybot and Ramona are there too hmm mommy well Seema yeah she's the party cast we did not like the male voice after in that last animated video if you can't get Shima but the actual Seema backup for a female voice actor with a kind of a similar deep tone voice what I'm saying anyway richer inform anyway that's for me that I'm personally cheering for hapc do P and ladybot that's me Dukey and ladybot but their words I'd see them all together anyway but - it's about to help it hmm start with join the bottom of his head have a flat shape and as a goatee he has kind of an elf ear just along with devil horns well why not have them both so so here is one horn here's the other so we're just going to write so here's his mouth right there hmm he's not angry yet because he's about to pick the fight with Blake here so leave his eyes kind of top flat and his eyebrows horizontal right so just going on from the eyes and then his hairstyle is purple hair and in the Google result in the Google image I got and I think also on his Twitter the hair his hair is purple don't ask me I thought his head was I thought here was black and hellbent if your hair is actually black that was just the image that just the one image or two then I apologize but in this sample comic we're giving you purple hair anyway so drawn to Nick there's a the colors of his the collars of his jacket hmm let's see what else ain't in here collar of his shirt underneath his jacket didn't miss me buckles hmm I think there's three by guy's hand covered up anyway on this so let's see who all right let's say he has his right in his right arm and hand despite we'll give him a lit cigarette helps us a few puffs of smoke coming from it and I'll gotta say he's pointing this left hand directing to Blake [Music] because he's got a few things say few things to make just four complaints about towards the side to Brandon some of the problems we've had really that's part of his belt mmm say legs there you go all right so giving this thumb this index finger and then the other two on this hand and not long enough there we go all right so it helped us mean the filmmaker so let's see [Music] yes oh yeah he said well I've heard you've got copyright troubles and your books in your creators realm dimension [Music] copyright problems in Christine's real dimension [Music] real life dimension [Music] hmm giving this speech balloon and then like counters he says well we've got all that sorted up it's a silent agreement [Music] all that I can write small but sometimes the long but when you got a word in with a longer words it's just not enough room [Music] and I don't have enough word no ferment me mmm I think I'll skip the typing when I submit this I'll know I want to give this thing full effort but I mean still just not fit words and difficulty proposed speech of speech balloons alright so in a later part stop my knocking help and drags Blake down into his hellhole which literally is hell that's let's say right now there's still above ground [Music] let's give them a Cygnus give them a city background - for now so building and camera angles and put right doorknob the window there Ausmus skyscrapers scraper lines alright that's panel one beginning of that argument [Music] and I forgot one thing I don't have room for he's got a little bit more hair coming down the side of his head over here shoot no I can't think I everything you've once got try anyway all right so all right so right now we're going to zoom in on their heads like we did up there mm mm aw hell pants head and maybe night so I'll give his little little bit ear there here's this goatee make his mouth bigger cuz he's really when yours is frown you really wants to start trouble now [Music] he's really close to his shoulder out that's when we're getting that there all right now we can get back his hair that we forgot to draw there [Music] and then we'll draw a close-up of like just [Music] [Music] okay now like is starting to get his frown on normally he doesn't like to start and I'd like to start an argument or pick white especially since he's been reformed by bubbles but at this point he's like he'll defend his family and friends and creator of course that's me and everything about the water quick bill so he slashed his shoulder for - all right so we got he'll been saying I really Bizet's me all the orders making comment combination of a hedgehog and a mouse [Music] the [Music] and Yuri [Music] you date a combination you taint a combo of it dogs and mice [Music] young two exclamation marks for that trollish piece of hate and now it likes defense his quip is like [Music] I don't like to take arguments [Music] but that's my family you're talking about [Music] that's my family you're hating at [Music] hey net 12 give three exclamation marks blood boiling blood boarding and just you gotta rotate this love and like love like you know give each other they hate I so much was between but a combination the flames and electricity between the halves of them and there's Lehman a thorough the moment [Music] really really angered bring such movies I do [Music] toss some lightning bolts because they're coming I was red cheek now [Music] he's really really angry [Music] in a fist raised [Music] yeah here goes out but this my rage [Music] it'll need fire in his eyes cuz he's got the flames of hell behind him who Shh [Music] we'll turn the flame the hell behind him in on my went as soon as I get his heron whatever else I can fit into this panel done here's the foreground characters come first you want to make sure you can put your background behind everybody [Music] [Music] there's this first [Music] I'll take it loosen up buckle their swimming sure that's there [Music] you gonna knuckle there that's for sure nice isn't it I'm and I hope I didn't just accidentally press the wrong button from that from knocking my controller down we're still on their wrists on there you ever saw on the air alright I've got to music so mmm kind of a mash of opposing as you got it hiding behind am [Music] then here comes the flames behind hell-bent for and that's me of that story our tremor and then I did take a brief moment to cool down if I may [Applause] [Music] [Music] I never want to think I will I mean I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do for the third story our trailer on yeah yeah I wanted to do like kind of a verbal debate between magic Chan and Nitz iam magic ten Silvana stays behind by magic chant he teleports everybody from quick Virginia to plant Dolan jokingly actually located on the other side of the United States that's the joke the actual headquarters being over there so I think for oh yeah and just goes toast just watching them debate he's not putting input at all as they're talking all right so let's just I went to draw close-up of magic Chan and that time copy and paste what I have you pasted this stuff like it'll work [Music] as you see with the idea being since nityam is the Lord of the Dead and magic chant is psychic they would be able to have kind of a meaningful discussion about life death and maybe museums goals as or the dead still up for debate what NIT cm would say because that's commenting on how magic an appropriately responds yes so those right arm cause he's in a meditate seat same position [Music] now his hand on one leg [Music] and on the other leg hmm still trying to still point down from and pathetically raising my anger [Music] eight minutes oh shoot yes the lake is crossing his legs of course those let's past Vince's suck and we need to give them this tail [Music] and then withdraw Mitsy I'm over here placing match in hmm it's gone I've got kind of an oddly shaped head from the image I found especially with this hairstyle to go with it so we'll start there's ice and his bushy eyebrows his nose down there and I guess its tongue would be gray that's my guess I don't I can't say off top of my memory because it comes to top 10 videos when I do paper I do watch the aunt wants the animations and whatnot I miss a detail sometimes honey I should like clip miss pay attention to the details some pay attention to the script it's somewhat important right so drawers hairdos guys put down hmm and see give him his neck I'd give him a bit more hair behind him from the collar of his armor gel coat whatever is that shoulder pad on both sides ah Joon too close no I will just his arm to his side for the moment there so withdraw his other arm the guy give him is unrequited unnecessary pectoral images and he needs his ears [Music] right so like I remember what not I remember oh and those toast just speculating [Music] hi son waiter both way up in the sky net they're both high up in the sky so we so when I get to the back when I could draw a few clouds all right sorry way speculate saw being dead is awesome and he agrees with him to a point but then I mean like I remember when my magic chance points because he made a good point I just came member I said there ah [Music] I think I'm starting to get a memory considering you are Lord of the Dead do you can see yourself lord over their souls [Music] see [Music] Lord of their souls the way I see it [Music] you write you reign over the deceased bodies [Music] [Music] and you conserve those at your command [Music] all those bodies without their souls [Music] [Music] [Music] and I'm just going to speculate on what how knits ium would reply to a question like that get their side of the page here let's see I think I imagined he would respond [Music] well you see well I do command the dead bodies [Music] [Music] hmm and those bodies are without their souls [Music] [Music] [Music] hmm then he thinks for a moment hmm now their souls I'm all of the dead bodies but their souls are up long have long left those bodies when I come to claim those bodies [Music] Peter reincarnated up in heaven our Hale I'm just going to the dead bodies hmm [Music] all right so he's thinking all this and his name his mind while he's processing this questioning of him being totally Lord of the Dead all right so we put a little space for his moot group room for thought his thinking [Music] and a hint in initially and response' you prove Rebecca you prove of great points [Music] you prove a great point as the souls and spirits are still alive [Music] and we'll just leave at that and I'm going to draw cloud there mmm the clout there and now we can do background because we just give them one portion because here this is one portion of their debate show discussion now we can now I'm just going to come back to the ps4 and put for a moment I just want to make sure we're still on the air we'll color this in we're still on the air oops all right let me get my markers and we'll color everybody in I like to color the characters in first and foremost and I like to try using going through these in the same color where it is respectively throughout until when I have exhausted the need for that one color so we're starting with the flesh tone put-down starting on the first sides your drawing here and Saatchi and Dolan has no flesh on eyes no push tone on him so we'll move on then it's turn down to the next size shoe and like yes he has at that color on his mouth area and his arms as well so we'll take care of all that hmm we'll take this small bits and get to him over here and of course my dad chin [Music] all right pick another color we'll go with the basic yellow but because it's a minor detail all detail but one that should not be missed regardless magic Chan's eyes are yellow so we go ahead take care of that and then we'll talk Oh in sideshow in this panel [Music] and by the way in case you and just to put into a kind of a perspective this is essentially a normal thought process of a go through as I drawn right each actual page in my book so if you ever wonder for yourselves how long it takes for me to draw and color a page you can start the timer when I started drawing this page and up to when I made the last hand contact point in the bottom there say that's the time and then to separate you can mark the time when I pulled out my markers and I started the coloring process you combine those two times that would be a nest a rough estimate how long it takes me to color to draw right and color a full page in my books I say we're going to do green for the eyes I know it's a tedious it's kind of a it's a long process considering but when you consider all the details throughout and the folk and the final product being finished event soon enough it's worth it love colors did it the day yeah we got the red so we're going to hmm coloring going to give help in his reddish glow Oh his eyes are yellow too I see this is a thing this is an earth thing but I got a do character I'm doing a new character and I'm not familiar not have it drawn that character as often as often as my main characters it's a whole new thing for me to add to my get used to list that's one I do want to work around and get used to anyhow say wait to continue coloring room help at his reddish glow [Music] kamesh tongue [Music] we'll get to the roof of the colors of the roof of their mouth later by bringing that one darker shade of red like using for that particular in Santa one miss a piggy tail so that's his bottom stripe and that's the end of his mince and it was tail and then I realize I should draw on his tail going upward now well in aspect you could say his tail is going straight out [Music] it's like an open interpretation right there anyway mmm oh but also I try so when coloring or drawing with my pen well moreover on the coloring aspect I tried to go from left to right as I am right-handed oh so I don't accidentally get the ink on my hand [Music] take notes my nerdlings cuz these are valuable assets of knowledge that you can take I can you can attribute for yourself in your own drawing skills that you learn throughout your lifetime not taking a lot of our classes throughout my lifetime and that's written regardless of my final abilities being considerably childlike it's still a skill that I own especially with the markers and whatnot and you couple that with the autism and attention to details yada-yada-yada attention deficit disorder it kind of bounces out really [Music] but again that's their own interpretation to make as you will versus what I have in my noggin for my own perception [Music] don't have to color in there Mouse here cuz is there he's just showing your teeth [Music] Oh just scowling that stares to where the day right there scowling [Music] not the a it's a word of the day if you don't know that word then they go it's your word of the day scowling let me lead at the bottom of his eyes on color because their foot there and flamed with the orange colored because he's that angry [Music] we'll get that little bit and so thinking about then I take the darker shade of red and I take the orange oh I missed a spot yeah pay attention to the script it's somewhat important you never got to come and magic chance tongue - this is why you pay attention to the script if you don't want to miss a detail hi Mike oh right mouth coloring so dark a sheet of red on inside of mouth and now the orange for to accentuate the flames the bang of upset and anger and Blake's eyes there yeah yeah when it comes to selecting the color I go with the colors of the first thing I'm going to color in and then I just relate that now on so that step I'm going to go with my very charged blue and get that out of the way because I like doing the make sure I got all the brighter colors either way before I do anything the black or brown is if I code if I did the reverse I could accidentally get brown on the lighter color I don't think we have any this shade of blue on match and so we're good to go or do the brown next for the stripes on this soon is back his tail right there this one right here does anybody else need the brown go south needs brown but it's a lighter shade because he's not burnt to a crisp that's so I am complete I say plaque for the very last color throughout regardless because that's the darkest color of all you don't want to get that anywhere on any of your other marker colors so with that we'll go with a dark shade of blue as that it's not only a color of certain portion a Magi-Chan but also Dolan's hat [Music] hey does anybody see my hat I can't go out anywhere without my hat then I just look like Zahra gamba put our beard if you shave this year but we both look alike could you be able to tell us apart yeah he's washed down oh yeah there you go free imitation of Dolan free vocal imitation at Dolan [Music] mmm anybody else checking hell-bent as well let miss spot there mmm I guess I got everybody with the shade of blue all right so ever got next I say black the last hmm I'd say we go with the boil purple he also kind of has the yo reddish color there um let's see I think that was either I think that was this shade or I can't forget which one I use it's probably this one or yeah that does not look like the wine it's kind of more like the shade of purple hmm I'm just going to sneak that in and see how it looks it see it looks sing huh I guess I remember correctly that is the shade that is the correct color for hellbent shirt because when did I draw this I do this on the 30th which was a week in the day ago drew and colored that same day yeah we want to just go ahead and color and tell bents shirt guys his colors black ah off its it later because black supersedes all other colors as it being the darkest and you put black over any color why does it changed - it just all goes directly to black do not pass go do not collect $200 three cents or but the donuts alright so now doing the world purple this is the color we're using for help it's hair as that was the original shipment was yes is the darkest shade of purple I have so propo or black this close and again if it is black guy if this here your hair is black help it I sincerely apologize you can collect me later [Music] I just felt that office I felt like I needed to fix that then the side side way view panel now if I actually had this head Malone horizontally I had done this without having to rotate the page that's neither here nor there right now because it's already done [Music] also the situation as to why we have these pre-drawn four lines to make the rectangle of this particular piece of paper is actually a neutral well upgrade will recently to be reminiscent of mmm DPR of pixels 1325 by 2050 that is the rector is the usage for that of when I upload the pages to my publishers website that is the page size for those book those comic book pages and so since we got the purple ending on magic Chan we're going to swap to the lavender and finish coloring magic Chan over here so anyway with these all free with the lines pre-drawn all round and foot and foot a copy in that sense [Music] versus if I use the whole sheet of paper when scanning the page into the computer it would cut off from the edges anyway so it's just easier to have the lines they are already then it's more accurate to the page and verses the original size I have let's actually this one on the back this originally was about that's how you see it's wider almost as tall and as you can see in books 0 through 10 and up to the new up to episode 23 Simon shoe and banana funcle' in book eleven after that's published yeah the previous the past pages will been like originally widescreen but then smushed horizontally so from here on so from 23 on outs to since we got that page size page dimensions set then they don't end up looking so horizontally smushed that's the idea [Music] and I'm going to go ahead coloring ghost toast with the lightest shade of brown I have which is this coffee it comes out looking like coffee so I call my coffee my coffee brown go there you go toasty bud all right finishing hell-bent jackets need some new gray mm his cuffs are gray and we dunk we can't see his belt buckle so it's not a karma thing hmm I like using the pen for shading for coloring in the pupils of the eyes versus using a marker to color that in as in it reflects more emotionally out of from the eyes using the pen in that sense and it's seen its ium has lots of gray on him even to use a darker even to use darker shade teens up using both my shades of gray so we'll go ahead and color him in now he's going with the lighter shade they go respectively his head is all this light shade but surely is inside of his mouth is a darker shade put my shade on where to go on his battle suit whatever he wants to call it on his ears are this light grey too [Music] my color around his bushy eyebrows in the edge of his head shape oops we'll finish coloring mitzi on with the kind of forest green but will gain the darker gray areas first now there's a mouth now go ahead get your other shoulder and then the rest of his [Music] [Music] okay that's all the gray now to get in his green highlights to finish calling Kim in all together [Music] alright then just giving out our look over will finish calling the characters now with the block we cut we got all the other color aspects in so now we're ready to use the black when we go in the ears nose Dolan's hat rim and his thing that's going to get that give me layered on my and yes help add to this and his eyebrows and his jacket and belt [Music] [Music] you won't be able to see his puffs of smoke from here on out but if you're watching this video before actually seeing this image is drawing after it skinned out and his shirt-collar then you have definitely appreciate the fact that those puffs of smoke were there and that's what happens when you color over pen ink with black marker that's at your own risk one minor detail but one thing we can do to accentuate that that is a cigarette we can emphasize the ash Hado spot of light grade take care of that [Music] super tips available from Crayola [Music] they'll be a while before I get those scented markers super tip markers back or nurse said those bring back the super spring right the scented super tips Crayola because those were good especially in the shade and actually match with what I was using previously versus but you repackaged more recently oh I missed a spot with a blush color a sorbet I'm busy right now baby I give you some petting culling later not right now it's definitely still too early to feed you I feed you I fed you less a couple hours ago all right so I'll calm down I'll give you some more love later cuz I'm busy right now ring definitely tied to stick sex uh a steady hand as possible and skill to get in all these little tiny stage [Music] the concentration helps to don't make this a cat video sorbet you stay off my desk side boy shit boy shitty boy forever ever ever let my family are talking about [Music] thank you [Music] and after we get all these blacks colored in we'll color in the background parts because like I said it's important to having all your characters colored first cuz you know how to do them and you gotta stretch your mind a little bit to remember what you have going on in the background so you know what to color them when you get to that point anyway that's part of my process and there's another one there's another spot a nest yeah well yeah help put up on this just might be true it's that little thing yeah Blake's on to you are ya up black but the shades of black if not darker [Music] and that's why the salad arm shades of grey' versus react because gray is brighter than black you can add more you can AB I make sure it's a black can you have before it just looks like smoke with sunshine Bart gleaming through it from a fire somewhere and even then it could still look great also [Music] [Music] ah Sam has no black required so we just color in the black on magic chin find a once-over on the page and then yeah that's all the characters now we can color in the background telling the background let's start by calling in the windows of the clip more close buildings but this shade of blue because it's daytime if it was nighttime I'd be painting them yellow cause the lights will be on on the inside of the building [Music] men is this building over here your dish we know hmm I'm gonna leave the background of this panel blank because it's been in between the normal back information know what we have without any emotion going on and then followed by heated with emotion we'll just for a moment for a while with the doors we'll get them all these dandelion colored doorknobs where we can find the doorknobs and they will all be red wood this is a reddish round we have here and this is what the scented markers this one is a Cynthia shade is cinnamon scented so that's their term for this reddish brown cinnamon it's all about in the color wheel and all them very ingredients you see when you select your shade you want in any artistic program hmm and then what else do you wanna do now I have the laser lemon I like using this because I like using this sometimes force and the brightest shade of sand because after this shade gets scanned in it becomes a sand look so we're going to use this for the color of sidewalk here [Music] you know this is Partizan walk you know we're behind like and hell-bent and give that a laser lemon to and for the program for the fact that becomes sand like at once at one point so what so many years ago I wear pants on I love Kurtz aren't you with leis and lemon well obviously that did not work out so well like that so that's one went with one shade up to better to a little berry yellow and so we're going to leave the median line white and just paint the room and just cleared the road the darker gray ya realize my mistake nice end of standing over on the first part so I gotta make it all consistent and I don't want to say for the sake of the background with all the varying buildings therein make them all darker gray because I supposed to be daytime so for the buildings in the background who use the lighter gray and after that I'll decide one want to paint the buildings in the foreground because when you're talking about all the varying buildings in the farther background I slept up to your interpretation just like the people you don't know exactly who or what they each are aside from being men women or however address to identify you mostly go neutral with that just like it go with the buildings behind you I'll make the mark on neutral as well as they more or less look similar to the distant few points [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] and one thing that I ended up do end up doing sometimes when I'm drawing and coming for a while I get in the mental zone and I just zoned out for a little bit it's good that's just one thing while right along for when you're drawing or coloring that specific part you know what you're doing you're going with the flow it's good it's very good good for you if you're at that time that perspective you're blocking out all other things outside of you when you're in that mindset you're in the zone I'm going to go ahead and color in the grass here to dull in science you're standing on I'm going to take the lightest shade of green I have and colored that in because once again it's daytime [Music] now for the buildings up front here hmm design decisions decisions what color do I want to make these particular buildings that are in the middle ground between the four and the farthest background so many decisions but in this one I think I'm going to go with the dark shade of red to make the ones on the left and the right brick light and here we'll do it up a little bit I'm going to make the middle building kind of gray and the roof from the roofs of these buildings will make them recover the darker gray [Music] during this one building - it totally up to you your city your building unless it's a specific building that you're going further into developing like a museum then just leave it as whatever you like just make it look differing or whatever so good [Music] I'm gonna go ahead and color in these rooftops [Music] it definitely differentiates the foreground buildings versus the tall skyscrapers behind them all how they work are in the middle building we're gonna help and there are detail we looked I go back and fits this one and just for hell that will cover both those buildings the light shade of gray [Applause] [Music] [Music] little bit behind yell bass book [Music] alright done all that done now we start on this complex background behind help ends in flake mixture of fire and lightning what we're going to do is start with the brightest color which that would be the yellow for all the lightning bolts we're just going to fill those in the ones are emanating from Blake's cheeks as well as these obvious ones right here [Music] yeah I think I'll do good mmm let's see make it look like menacing Thunder to thunderstorm coming about so yes we'll make the remainder of the background a midnight blue so being careful is to go around the outline with these new lightning bolts thunderstorms are coming lake is really really angry [Music] I'm sure they'll come up much more cleared at least after scan the difference between the black and the midnight blue I could see it right off that's directly an aspect of autism that apparently autistic people can see the colors more brightly more vividly than the neurotypical person could but again that's wasn't the video information was in the video I saw recently I will not come I will not confirm or deny it I don't know all the details that's an aspect that needs to that could be experimented list between an average a number of set number of people with autism and a set number of neurotypical people [Music] maybe I can be something the Mythbusters could get on the new generation of Mythbusters [Music] hee hee [Music] okay that takes care of Blake's half now with hell-bent because we're talking about fire in the background we'll go with the bowl shape the two shades of orange I have hmm yeah and plus the bright shade of red so we'll go ahead use the red for the bottom because that's where the flames are started and that's darkest and that's source the flames and we'll go up to the darker range floor up to a certain point going up the flames and concern since it's since red blends well with orange because orange is a mixture of yellow and red that's okay to mix with the red since Red's darker but you definitely don't want to mix it with yellow and that would just make her neck bunch of yellow orange more darker you don't want to do that especially if you want reference difference between lightning and fire yes I think I'm going to leave it there and then we'll go with our brightest orange and filling the remainder of this background this one smells like orange oranges all right we're almost done with this piece all we have left is to color the sky behind magic Chan and knit Siong so we'll take the brightest shade of blue I have here between where it goes start being more blue and where it becomes blue green or turquoise sky blue [Music] it's kind of a straightforward process from here it's sunk because to avoid the clouds that remain white it's one cup it's one singular color and it is good [Music] you can lose yourself while your don't buy your coloring in the bulk color of a background and once again being in the zone there it is good [Music] in [Music] [Music] I'm done with this one piece you doopy doopy doopy doopy tada and then since this is a not official comic page but more like a trailer and it is a piece I put my name on it no idea baby and I did it and there you go and this right here is what I will be submitting to plant darling for the little contest and I'll just go back to the PlayStation make sure we're still on here all right good and I believe that would be that will do it for now so thank you everyone for watching this live stream and I look forward to five dull in reviewing this for dares for their submission everyone else have a great safe night day whatever it is time zone

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 05052017]]|nextlink=[[Minor Update, Handouts!]]}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2017]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

JenkinsJinkies

2022-12-13T16:54:30Z

RoseSparrow: /* CWCki */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{infobox
| title = JenkinsJinkies
| image = [[Image:Fatjenkins.jpg|250px|center]]
|header1 = Information
|label1 = Name
|data1 = Junior Jenkins
|label2 = Also known as
|data2 =
|label3 = Date of Birth
|data3 = 16 July 1995 (age {{Age|1995|7|16}})
|label5 = Gender
|data5 = Male
|label6 = Nationality
|data6 = [[United States|American]]
|label7 = [[Chris and race|Race]]
|data7 = White
|label8 = Occupations
|data8 = High-school student
}}

'''Junior Jenkins''', alias '''JenkinsJinkies''' (born 16 July [[1995]]), was Chris's [[Disguises|trollsona]] from [[May 2010|May]] to [[August 2010]]. According to the elaborate backstory which Chris concocted for the character he is a [[BlueSpike|bi-curious teenager from Boston]] who happens to be staying with a distant relative who has a house across the street from [[14BC|Chris's house]] in [[Ruckersville]]. Jenkins is also said to have two male friends that they are very close to, both 16 years old at the time of the characters appearance on the [[Trollin Train|Trollin Train forum]], who are called Jerry and Dino. These names could be a reference to the 1940s and 50s comedy duo: {{w|Martin and Lewis}}, consisting of actors and singers {{w|Dean Martin|Dean (Dino) Martin}} and {{w|Jerry Lewis}}. These reflect on Chris's life growing up, in which he was exposed to easy listening and swing music from his parents. In January 2009, Jenkins says that he had sexual relations and intercourse with his friend Jerry. This is an unusual story to tell from Chris considering his [[Homos|negative views towards homosexuality]], perhaps showing Chris's own homosexual thoughts or fantasies. However, this may have just been to attempt to throw the trolls off and hide Jenkins' true identity as Chris. Chris appeared in a video pretending to be Jenkins to prove his character to the trolls. In this video, Chris's elaborate disguise for this devious persona that fooled the world was accomplished by simply throwing a shirt over his head (making him unintentionally resemble the {{w|Cobra Commander}}) and slightly deepening his voice.

==CWCki==
JenkinsJinkies began as another [[CWCki]] account, made by Chris to confirm that the antenna he had removed from his [[PS3]] wasn't a bug on [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|"PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked"]], a bait-page made by [[Clyde]]. It was quickly discovered that JenkinsJinkies was Chris and the [[Trollin Train|appropriate action]] was taken soon afterwards. Clyde contacted Chris through JenkinsJinkies' [[User talk:JenkinsJinkies|talk page]] and it resulted in a short correspondence between the two.

{{quote|I lost my young [[Virgin With Rage|virginity]] with a [[Merried Seinor Comic|Seinor]] [[Kellie Andes|Cheerleader]]; her [[china]] was sweeeeettt! Plus, as an [[ED|Anon]], I prefer to keep my add off of the web. I would not want Chris coming after my ass. The mindfuck that he is, I would not want to fall victim of one of his impulsive manchild rampages. I just enjoy getting the LULZ off of him.|JenkinsJinkies, the fourteen-year-old [[homos|sodomite]] who had gay sex at the age of seven and lost his [[virgin]]ity to a high school student beforehand; who also lives directly [[14 Branchland Court|across the street]] from Chris.}}

As JenkinsJinkies, Chris created the bizarre [[Coffee Place]] page, an article which originally started off as a reported sighting of Chris in [[Burger King]] but quickly devolved into a rant against [[Coffee Place#Amanda|Amanda]], a part-time [[Manajerk|manager]] who seemingly irked Chris by not treating himself, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], and other "[[Merried Seinor Comic|seinors]]" with the adequate respect Chris thought she should. How JenkinsJinkies was able to know all this information about Amanda after one visit and why he would care if she mistreated Bob or not was never to be explained by Chris.

Chris believed playing a troll who was [[Chris and reality|legitimately]] afraid of Chris's wrath would totally convince [[Clyde Cash]] himself that he was legit. He also unsuccessfully tried to scare the trolls into thinking he was plotting to hunt them down, one by one. Several [[/cwc/|lesser]] trolls believed they were the first ones to realize that JenkinsJinkies was Chris and blew the whistle every now and again, but such leaks were uncommon and generally most trolls played along.

==Trollin Train==
{{main|Trollin Train}}

As the trolls began to tug on JenkinsJinkies' marionette strings, a [[Trollin Train|trolling forum]] entirely dedicated to making Chris paranoid was established. Despite all posts, members and threads being only a few days old, Chris was [[Naïve|completely convinced]] that it was the official trolling hub, where all the nefarious plots made against him were conceived.

As Junior Jenkins, Chris decided to write a story to go with his induction into the Trollin Train about how he supposedly experienced sexual intercourse for the first time; what resulted was a truly horrifying and borderline-[[Pedofork|criminal]] text about how another child at summer camp supposedly had his way with Junior.<ref>[[Trollin_Train#Hey, Everyone! J.J. has arrived. (Thu 29 July 2010 12:19 AM)|Hey, Everyone! J.J. has arrived.]]</ref>

As if it weren't obvious enough that Junior Jenkins was Chris, he also went out of his way to praise Chris for his ingenious schemes for halting the trolls' wicked plans and/or dissuade the trolls from even trying - often combining the two themes into the same post.

{{quote|I have to hand it to him, he makes it Frustrating to Troll Him. It's like we have to PAY AirFare or HitchHike Dangerously and do it Old-Fashioned with Accordian Cameras and shit like that.|JuniorJenkins, [[Trollin Train#Damn! (Wed 25 Aug 2010 5:42 am)|Trollin Train]]}}

Junior Jenkins also had run-ins with the ghosts of [[Patti Chandler]] and seven-year-old Christopher Chandler, as Chris inexplicably believed that trolls would be frightened by these events. They were not and Jenkins was roundly mocked.

In another memorable event, Jenkins unsubtly asked for the numbers of the hookers [[Bryan Bash]] sent to Chris's house because Chris wanted sexy time.

==PS3 Destruction==
Trollin Train's most significant achievement came about when [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] offered a number of "bounties" for achievements in trolling Chris, including a US$9,001 reward for anyone who could smash Chris's [[PS3]]. Due to a misinterpretation of Tito's criteria, Chris thought he could get the reward if ''he'' did the smashing and simply had Junior claim to witness it. The rest is [[PS3#Destruction|history]].

Though Chris [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|did not]] receive the $9,001, he managed to raise the money to buy a new PS3 over the course of a few days.

==The End==
Chris decided to drop the JenkinsJinkies persona after his last post on TrollinTrain about witnessing Chris destroying his PS3. It was later revealed after the leaking of the [[Jackie Emails]] that Chris dropped the act in fear that when the police raided the Trollin Train forums they would mistake him for a troll and subsequently [[Chris and the Law|arrest him]]. Since it's now likely that Chris has completely forgotten about his time as JJ, the Trollin Train forum has became inactive and all information has been freely published to the [[CWCki]].

==See also==
*[[Trollin Train]]
*[[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]]
*[[Disguises]]
*[[Night Star#Twitter sockpuppet|NightStar2891]]
*[[User:JenkinsJinkies]]

[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]
==References==
<references/>

File:Chris tweet.png

2022-12-12T17:39:14Z

RoseSparrow: Chris Replying to the BronyMate tweet

== Summary ==
Chris Replying to the BronyMate tweet

BronyMate

2022-12-12T17:31:53Z

RoseSparrow:

{{Stub}}
'''BronyMate''' is an online dating website for [[My Little Pony|bronies]]. Chris made an account on this site on 27 August 2017.<ref>https://www.bronymate.com/index.php?m=member_profile&p=profile&id=54848</ref>

==NightStar1982 profile==
[[File:Coke, Unicorn cosplay.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris's profile picture.]]
This profile, using the name of Chris's [[Night Star|ponysona]], was first discovered by [[Kiwi Farms]] users after Chris replied to a tweet by BronyMate on Twitter. The aforementioned tweet said "re-tweet or like if you would hug Princess Celestia" to which chris responded, "[[TF2 Analysis|I certainly would Not Block her]], just to keep her following haters out. I still would want the Love and Support from the One Hero, always."

{{collapsible|Profile text|
'''I am a:''' [[Tomgirl|Trans]] 
'''Seeking a:''' Woman 
'''Age:''' 35 
'''Country:''' [[United States of America|United States]] 
'''City:''' [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]] 
'''State / Province:''' [[Virginia is for Virgins|Virginia]] 
'''Height:''' 5' 11" 
'''Body type:''' [[Lie|Average]] 
'''Hair:''' Dark Brown 
'''Eyes:''' Blue 
'''Ethnicity:''' Caucasian (white) 
'''Favorite Pony:''' Vinyl Scratch 
'''All About Me:''' I am an all-ground, good natured, [[Autism|high-functioning autistic]], Female Lesbian Soul, and Transwoman, [[Chris and art|artist]], [[video games|gamer]] and creative type. I am the [[Plagiarism|Original Creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], VA. I like making those close to me feel emotionally happy. :) 
'''I am looking for:''' A kind, compassionate, good-looking woman, as local as possible, who would appreciate me for who I am, and not judge me. Friendship First is my motto in a relationship.}}

== See Also ==

* [[OkCupid]]

== References ==

<references/>

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]

CWC's Pokésite 2

2022-12-12T17:11:36Z

RoseSparrow: /* Introductory sign (see right) */

[[File:Pokesite2 banner.png|center]]

'''CWC's Pokésite 2''' is one of Chris's earliest websites about [[Pokémon]], launched on 22 July [[1999]]. [[Chris]] made a poorly translated Spanish version, which shows that his Spanish name is [[Spanish|Ricardo]] W. Chandler. According to the sign, Chris made [[Espanolic]] the mascot of the Spanish version.

The email listed on the page is itsameCWC@aol.com, probably a reference to the opening splash screen of ''Super [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Mario]] 64'', where Mario says his iconic phrase: "It's a-me, Mario!".

==History==
In his [[Chris's resume|resume]], Chris proudly proclaims both the [[Spanish]] and [[Chris and English|English]] versions as having been created from "notepad scratch" thanks to his HTML classes. Given the quality of the sites, it is largely assumed that "notepad scratch" is a euphemism for "pulled out of his ass". Like everything else of a visual nature that Chris has produced, the sites were nothing short of eye rape. The website was spawned out of his fetish for Pokémon and originally featured [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] as the mascot.

The site's logo, shown below, was designed by [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell]], one of Chris's high-school [[gal pal|gal-pals]], as a school assignment. This is why it looks good.

In addition to the godawful aesthetics, the site also has a number of HTML errors.<ref>See for example [http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=http%3A%2F%2Fweb.archive.org%2Fweb%2F20010217092458%2Fhttp%3A%2F%2Fhomepages.go.com%2F~christianchandler%2Fpokste2.htm&charset=%28detect+automatically%29&doctype=Inline&group=0 here]. Errors before line 253 are in the Wayback Machine's toolbar and aren't Chris's fault.</ref> For example, the title image is aligned to the left of the screen, because Chris wrote <code>align=CENTER</code> when he meant <code>align="middle"</code>. This would have been obvious to Chris unless he'd been testing the site on a 640x480 monitor (already obsolete in 2001<ref>http://www.w3schools.com/browsers/browsers_display.asp</ref>), and it would tend to make his work look even less professional to a software engineer who was considering him for a Web-development job.

==Current status==
Since the website has been at various times hosted on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Chris's other fail webspaces]], its current status is the same as theirs, which is to say, inactive and archived. He doubtlessly has a copy hanging around somewhere though, since Chris seems to feel that everything he produces is pure gold.

==Content==
While the site's nominal purpose was to sperg about Pokémon, the content of the site suggests that Chris's ulterior purpose for the site was to sell himself as a cool person and make friends, just as his later [[Sonichu's News Dash]] was ''really'' about attracting a boyfriend-free girl. Chris hoped that there would be extensive community feedback--the art section was for "drawings from you and me," for example. There was also a "Cool Letters" section, which remained vacant. He practically begged people to sign his guestbook, and, of course, there was the prominent "About the Author" section, where Chris's already-enormous [[Chris and his Ego|ego]] was apparent.

This archived edition was last updated on 15 January 2009.

===Front page===
[[File:Cwcpktwo.GIF|center]]

New logo was designed by [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell|Maranda Mitchell]] and Me. :)

Launched on July 22, 1999

Updated: 1/15/2009

Welcome...

To CWC's PokéSite 2!

To add frames to see my other cool sites, click here! 8)

Enjoy your visit! :)

Please visit again for many Updates, be sure to Bookmark us, and be sure to tell your friends about us, too. And, please sign the Guestbook.

* A Real Pokémon Trading Card Game Section.
* An Art section with drawings from you and me.
* A PokéCheats Section.
* A Downloads section.
* Updated News more often.
* Cool Letters section.
* A Pokémon Card section.
* A Section of cool Links.
* About the Author: Christian W. Chandler.
* Please, Sign my Guestbook.
<gallery>
File:Letr.gif
</gallery>
* And a whole lot more!!!

And, if you want to see the original CWC's PokéSite, here is the link.

===CWC's PokéArt Section===
<center><gallery>
File:Art.gif
</gallery></center>
Clicking this link to brought you to 24 of Chris's homemade Pokémon trading cards, some of the earliest entries in [[The Wall of Originals]].

===CWC's Downloads!===

This page included links to the American and Japanese Pokémon themes. There were also .mpg movies entitled "Pikachu Vs. Raichu", "Ash and Pikachu", and "Team Rocket's Motto". taken from a site called "Pikachu's Place." Finally, under "Programs/Games/Other," one could play five games provided by "Insomniac Pokemon's Top 100 Pokemon Sites."

===CWC's Pokenews===
<center><gallery>
File:Poknews.jpg
</gallery></center>
This was the meat of the website. It included a series of brief updates from the world of Pokémon. Very little of it is original; Chris just relayed information he had read in other publications and sites. There are a few insights into Chris's life during this period. Sometimes homework prevents him from making more frequent updates. He also takes a break during the move from [[Richmond|Midlothian]] to [[Ruckersville]], which he says caused him [[stress]] and a dip in inspiration, excuses which would soon become very familiar to his fans. We see that Chris was apparently very upbeat through 2000 and essentially pre-sexual, his mind focused almost exclusively on his Pokémon hobby. Only in a later update to the site, when he was 22, do we first see references to the [[Lovequest]]. He also assumes that his readers hang on his every word.

"'''The Archive Section!'''" included his earliest stuff, labeled "October, 1999-December, 1999." He introduced it with, "Finally, I am going to start on my own PokéNews section for my PokéSite. I'll start small, but this section will grow...with time."

{{quotebox|
Corrected: My first article: some information about Pokémon Gold/Silver (what Pokémon will you start with?). Information and pics. wereprovided by, Info Gamers' magizine.

'''What Pokémon will you start with in Pokémon Gold/Silver
'''

10/13/99

I was surfing on the internet one day, and I got an E-Mail talking about Info Gamers' magizine's website having the pictures of the three new Pokémon you start with in the new Gold/Silver version. It had an internet address attached to it, which goes to that article.

Anyway, here is the situation, in the Gold/Silver version, you do not get to choose between Charmander, Bulbasaur, or Squirtle. You get to choose between a firey hedgehog, Hino-arashi, a timid pear-shaped grass Pokémon, Chicory-ta, and a crocodile that attacks with its teeth and its tail, Wani-noco.

I'll have more information when I get some. :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''Save yourself a trip to Blockbuster Video! You can print yourself an entry form from Nintendo's Pokémon World!'''

10/14/99

You know that new Pokémon Snap contest where you can win a trip to [[PandaHalo|Austraullia]]? You can save yourself a trip to the store by downloading a copy of the official form from Pokémon World!}}

{{quotebox|
'''Info. on Snubble, Marril, and Donphan!!'''

10/22/99

I found some interesting information on the three Pokémon: Snubble, Marril, and Donphan.

Snubble: The name is a combo of snub-nosed and bulldog. Nintendo's Gail Tilden says that Snubble is very grumpy and has a short fuse.

Marril: This water mouse is already hugely popular in Japan, where the new Pokémon movie first opened, and soon will pop up on the TV show.

Donphan: Tilden says the name is derived from the Japanese word "don," meaning "heavy-footed," and "phan" from elephant. It does a rolling attack and is one of the larger Pokémon.

Source: USA Today.}}

{{quotebox|
'''Dig Into Fossil Deckbuilding Contest!'''

10/28/99

Wizard's of the Coast's Pokémon website is having a contest in which you could win 2 Fossil Booster Boxes, both Fossil Theme Decks, and the Starter Gift Box.

All you have to do is click on the big icon on their website, follow their instructions, enter, and possibly win! It's really a way for those who do not know how to construct their own deck to learn how.}}

{{quotebox|
[[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls|How the Pokemon Came Into Our Poke Balls]].

10/30/99

(Intro.)

For my [[Chris and English|English]] class in late September of this year, I had to write my own myth. So, I figured "Why not make a myth about how Pokémon came to be."

My English teacher thought that it was a great story. So did [[Barbara Chandler|my mom]] and a few other people. Since it was so good, I thought I'd feature it on this website. Click Here to read my story. Enjoy. :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''[[Burger King]] Will Have 57 Pokémon!'''

10/13/99, but updated: 11/04/99

That's right! Starting November 8-December 15, Burger Kings of the United States will have 57 Pokémon! And they include my top 2 favorite Pokémon: *Mew*, and *Pikachu*!

The Pokémon Gold thing, is that of six 32k gold cards for $1.99 per card, starting Nov. 15. They feature Pikachu, Mewtwo, Jigglypuff, Poliwhirl, Charizard, and Togepi.

Here's a biggie, the 57 toys will be in a Poké Ball, 1 toy per Kids' Meal, inludes a special Trading Card for each, and catorized for their toy features. And Burger Kings will have a trading night every tuesday for the toys, starting Nov. 23.

The Toy list:

Pikachu. The only plush toy that will talk.

[Here Chris included the list of all 57 toys.]

Click Here to see the big poster.}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Pokémon TCG cards from the new movie!'''

10/20/99

Check this out: "In the 'Pokemon The First Movie' promotion, moviegoers will receive, with the purchase of each movie ticket, a randomly selected game card from a collection of four new cards published by Wizards of the Coast. These special new game cards are only available by purchasing a ticket to the movie or by making a $10 purchase at the Warner Bros. Studio Stores, as long as supplies last.

"The new Pokemon cards feature Dragonite, a flying Pokemon messenger; Electabuzz, a wild Pokemon with a short temper; Mewtwo, the violent, genetically engineered creation who challenges Mew for dominance of all Pokemon; and Ash's furry pal Pikachu, the most charming and beloved Pokemon."

Also now a mention of when and how to get a Promo. Mew, from WOTC!!!

Click here to go to Wizard's articles.}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo Card list is in my section of Pokémon cards!'''

Starting on the list of Promos for America!

11/16/99...3/3/2000...3/13/2000...4/2/2000

That's right, in my Pokémon Trading Card section, is a list of the current Promo cards from Wizards, and how to get them. I'll keep you all up-to-date as the
information comes in.

Now we know of a Holo Mew, a Holo Meowth, a new Venusaur, and a Holo Porygon!}}

{{quotebox|
'''I'm sorry; I have not been on the internet lately.'''

Notice!

11/18/99

I'm sorry I have not updated the website as fast as I usually do, but I had to do a lot of [[Manchester High Leaks|homework]]. I'll update the site at least on the weekends; being off the [[internet]] for a while sure makes you miss a lot of things...:)}}

{{quotebox|
'''A Timeline for Pokémon!'''

11/30/99

Here is a current Poké Timeline from the "Business" section of today's [[Richmond]] Times Dispatch.

[Here Chris included a timeline of important Pokemon events from 1996 to Summer 2000.]}}

{{quotebox|
'''A Brand New PokéDex! There is a new website with a PokéDex of the so-called "Pokégods!"'''

A List of the Next 100 Pokémon!

12/15/99

There is a new website with a PokéDex of the "Pokégods" from the new Gold/Silver Versions. Click Here to go to this new website!}}

After the archive, the next series of articles was labeled, "February, 2000-Audgust, 2000." "Here's a big update; the Old News are in the new Archive section! Click on the link on the bottom of the page."

{{quotebox|
Here is a [[Valentines Day Hymn|Valentines Day hymn]] I have written for the special day of love. Enjoy! :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''There are Pokémon cards of other Languages! And I'm searching for some cards of a certain language.'''

The Foreign Pokémon Cards are Here!

1/21/2000

I have come across of Pokémon cards in other languages. I have found so far, German and French cards. But, since I take the [[Spanish]] language, I have figured that there may be some Spanish Pokémon cards. If you have any information on Spanish cards, or have any Spanish Booster Paks, Send me an E-Mail at: Itsame CWC@aol.com. Have a nice day. :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''UpdatedNew Promo Card list is in my section of Pokémon cards! (2+1 new cards)!'''

Starting on the list of Promos for America!
11/16/99...3/3/2000...3/13/2000...4/2/2000

That's right, in my Pokémon Trading Card section, is a list of the current Promo cards from Wizards, and how to get them. I'll keep you all up-to-date as the information comes in.

Now we know of a Holo Mew, a Holo Meowth, a new Venusaur, and a Holo Porygon!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New! Team Rocket Card List.'''

4/3/2000

The Team Rocket expansion will be coming on April 24th, but the PokéSite has the list to help. The American Team Rocket card list is in the TCG section!}}

{{quotebox|
'''A New Promo. Trainer Card is here! And we have the scoop on it!'''

New! Trainer: Computer Error Card!.

5/29/2000

There is now, for the first time in America, a new Promo Trainer card called: Computer Error. It is a Non-Holo card, and was probably originally a Team Rocket card; by the name, it says: "(Rocket's Secret Machine)."

Find out how to get it in my Promo. Card Section!

And I'm sorry that I have not updated the site lately; too much homework and less inspiration.}}

{{quotebox|
'''Another Promo. card/Where are those updates?
'''

A Coast-to-Coast Promo. card, Eevee!

6/19/2,000

There is a Promo. Card that has been flying around the country (which did not make it to some states), Promo. #11, Eevee! Information on it is in the Promo. Pokémon Section!

Where have those updates been?

I have not been keeping up with the PokéNews Section, because my family and I have been in the moving process from [[Richmond]], VA to [[Ruckersville]], VA. The [[stress]] was keeping me down. But, as soon as we are moved there, I will be updating the PokéSite much more often with PokéNews!}}

{{quotebox|
'''I'm Back...with updates!'''

I'm Back!

7/17/2000

Hey, everyone. Sorry for the long wait without updates, but my family and I are finally moved to Ruckersville. So the updates will come up more often, now! 8)

To start, there is an update in the Trading Card section: 1st, the new 2000 Movie Promos are listed, including Achient Mew!

I'll keep the updates coming; thanks for coping with me. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''Ancitent Mew has been translated!'''

7/22/2000

During the first week of the new Pokémon 2000 Movie, the Anchient Mew Promo. cards will be given to those who go to see the movie.

I translated the A-Mew at the League today. So, for those who do not go to the League, the A-Mew "Details" go as followed:

Name of Attack: Psyche (Requires 2 Psychic Energies).
Hit Points: 30.
Attack Damage: 40.
Retreat Cost: **
Weakness: Psychic.
Resistance: None.

I hope this will help some of you in your TCG card games. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo. Checklist!'''

7/27/2000

Since there are so many Promo. Cards flying about, instead of just a list with details, I have made a simple, printable checklist.

To ease some possible confusion, the "?'s" means that the card of that # has not yet been learned about. And since Ancient Mew does not have a Promo. #, I gave it a #00.

I will update as often as new Promo. Cards come out. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''The League Cool Porygon Rumor is finally comfirmed!'''

New Promos. Coming to the Pokémon TCG League!

8/9/2000

I'm sure that you all have heard about the rumors of there being the *Cool Porygon Promo. card is going to be given out at the TCG League.

Well, I have just found out the truth to the rumor. My source was a small newsletter that was given out at my League at Toys "R" Us, the Pok*eacute;mon Press.

As for the *Cool Porygon, it states in the Newsletter:

"Beginning on September 16th, there will be a final season to round out the first year of the TCG League, Victory Road.

"Only those that earned all 8 Badges will receive a Victory Road booklet. When a Trainer gets 20 points in the Booklet, he or she will receive one *Promo. Psyduck #?* card. When he or she wins 5 games in a row in the booklet, he or she will receive one *Promo. Cool Porygon #15* card."

So, earn those badges to catch the $150 card, and a Psyduck. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Gym Heroes Checklist and Deck Contents!'''

Gym Heroes Info!

8/10/2000

I got my Gym Heroes cards a little early, so I put together a new checklist with Level #'s and Deck Contents!

You know those Gym cards only found in the Japanese deck instead of the Booster Paks? I've found out that Wizards took some of those cards, and made them into
Non-Holo Rare cards.

You can find the list in the Pokemon TCG Section!

Oh, the PokéFire is rekindled! 8)}}

The final section of these brief articles covers 29 August - 22 December 2000.

{{quotebox|
'''Coming Soon... A Spinoff from CWC's PokéSite 2!'''

Coming Soon...

8/29/2000

A [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|new website]] will be coming this Winter. It's a Spinoff from CWC's PokéSite 2! It will be highlighting my Favorite Home Pokémon, and My Speedy Hero.

Coming This Winter, from CWC's PokéSite 2! is...
<gallery>
File:193-soniclgo.jpg
</gallery>
Sonichu's got a promotion! 8)}}

{{quotebox|
[[File:EarlyBionic.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[Bionic the Hedgehog]].

9/4/2000

As part of the new Sonichu Site!, there is another character mentioned,
besides Sonichu, he's the Hedgehog that I made up back in November, 1996.
He was also Sonic's Long-Lost, but found, [[Cole Smithey|big brother]]. He is...

Bionic the Hedgehog.

Click on him to read [[Bionic the Hedgehog (short story)|his Story]].}}

{{quotebox|
'''A New Badge Theory!'''

New Pokemon TCG League Badges Theory!

9/18/2000

I have a theory about the Pokémon TCG League. Since there are the 8 Badges from the Red-Yellow Versions so far, and Victory Road is coming up, what will come after Victory Road?

I believe that since the Gold/Silver Versions will have many new Badges, the Pokémon TCG League might get those new Badges some time after the Gold/Silver Versions come out.

But do not get your hopes up, yet; it's just a theory of mine. If it does occur, I will post it in the PokéNews! 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo Gym Card--#19--!'''

9/20/2000

I have just learned about the Promo. #19 card, Sabrina's Abra!

My resouce came from this article of Collecting Nations!, and I have updated the Promo. Checklist. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''Sample Sonic Review!'''

Review Sample.

9/28/2000

In the Sonichu Site, there will be Sonic the Hedgehog game Reviews and Previews. So, this month, you will get to see one of its Reviews --Sonic Adventure!

Coming Next Month: Sonichu's Story!}}

Here Chris linked to a boring review of "Sonic Adventure, 1999."

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo Pikachu Cards<nowiki>--#'s 24=28--!</nowiki>'''

10/5/2000

I have just learned about the new Pikachu Promo. cards, #'s 24-28!

My resouce came from Wizards of the Coast Site, and I have updated the Promo. Checklist. <nowiki>8)</nowiki>

But, for further info, please check the Promo Page!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Gym Challenge!'''

10/7/2000

I have just got a new Checklist of the Gym Challenge cards! It has more of the last 4 Gym Leaders than the first 4. To see the Checklist, go to the Poké Card Section!

A cool thing about it is that it has a couple of the Vending Machine Cards:

*Master Ball

*Max Revive

Maybe Wizards will put the Vending Machine Cards in Future Booster Paks!}}

{{quotebox|
'''Happy Birthday Pikachu Contest!'''

Happy Birthday Pikachu!

12/5/2000

Wizards of the Coast is holding a contest in which you could win a Holo Promo. American Happy Birthday Pikachu card!

The contest deadline is December 10, 2000, and up to 30,000 cards will be awarded.

For more info, go to Wizards' Site! For Pikachu #'s, go to the Promo. list in the Poké Card Section!}}

{{quotebox|
'''Get a Marril Pokémon card (Before Neo Comes)!'''

Marril, Marril, Marril!

12/5/2000

In honer of the upcoming Neo Genesis set, Wizards will have many Pokémon card distribute Marril cards on the 16th. All you have to do is go to the store and ask for
one.

For info. on where to get the Marril card, go to Wizard's Site!}}

{{quotebox|
'''More exclusive info. on the Marril Card!'''

Marril is a Promo. Card!

12/17/2000

In honer of the upcoming Neo Genesis set, Wizards had many Pokémon card stores distribute Marril cards on the 16th (and later (while supplies last)). All you have to do is go to the store and ask for one.

This card is really worth the trouble; it's Promo. card #29! For the most current Promo. card checklist, go to my Pokémon Card Section!

There will be a Marill in the Neo set, but it is a lot different than the Promo. #29 card.

For info. on where to get the Marril card, go to Wizard's Site!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Neo Set 1 Checklist!'''

New Neo Set 1 Checklist and Deck Lists!

12/22/2000

I finally got a Neo Deck, so I put up the new check and Deck Lists. Check them out in my Pokémon Card Section.

See Also, the Updated Rules! The "Chared" condition is described!

For more info., go to Wizard's Site!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Neo Discovery Set 2 Checklist!
'''

12/22/2000

I Neo Discovery list, so I put up the new check and Deck Lists. Check them out in my Pokémon Card Section.

See Also, the Updated Rules! The Unown Rule!

For more info., go to Wizard's Site!}}

===Pokemon Cards Section===
{{quotebox|
In this section, we will keep you up-to-date with the latest news in the world of Pokémon Trading Cards.

And if you are interested in trading over the internet...

You can visit the Trading Boards at Collecting Nations. There, you will find many trade offers from me and lots of other people who collect the cards, too! By the way, my name on C.N. is Starplayer.

Here, you will also find the lists of all the known cards in America, which cards ar in the theme decks of now, and the Translated Pokémon Cards from Japan. Information for the cards were brought to you by InQuest Gamer Magazine.

Have a View of the Most Current Rules of the Pokémon Trading Card Game.}}

Chris followed this with a long list of cards and their qualities.

===About the Author: Christian W. Chandler.===
{{quotebox|
<gallery>
File:CWC12.png
</gallery>

This is my current high school picture.

Check out my AOL Profile Page

Alias: Christopher.

'''D.O.B.:''' 2/24/1982.

'''Age:''' 18 years.

'''Occupation:''' Graduated from [[Manchester High School]]! And going to [[PVCC]].

'''Hobbies:'''

* Play video games...Sonic, Mario, and Pokémon mostly.
* Collecting Pokémon Trading Cards.
* I enjoy watching anime. My favorites are:

'''Sonic X
Pokémon
[[Transformers]]
[[Excel Saga]]
[[Dragon Ball Z|Dragonball Z]] or GT'''

* Building with [[LEGO|lego]] pieces to make structures, and vehicles. For example, I built 60 Karts like the ones in [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Mario Kart 64]]. And I drew up my own instructions on how to build one:
<gallery>
File:400-LegKrt1.jpg
File:401-LegKrt2.jpg
</gallery>
* I like to draw and do art projects for my enjoyment. For example, my [[Wall of Originals|homemade Pokémon Cards]] in the Art Section.
* I also enjoy all kinds of [[music]]. Except hard rock...:(
* I like to speak a lot of [[Spanish|Español]] when I can, and just to let you know, and to release the possible confusion, my Spanish name is Ricardo.

'''My dream:'''
I dream that [[Nintendo]] and [[SEGA|Sega]] will join and make a [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game for Game Boy. To encourage it, I started making [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|my own Nintendo Power Magazine]], but it is not completed yet; I got as far as to the end of my "Classified Information" section. Here's my drawn cover:
<gallery>
File:003-NPSon.jpg
</gallery>

'''A Story of Pokémon.'''

I also wrote my own story of How Pokémon came to be. You can read it by clicking here: [[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls|How the Pokémon Came Into Our Poké Balls]].

Have a nice day. :)

I\_/I
(o'.'o) ..;;;
{; ;}.;;;''
" "'''}}

The above autobiographical sketch remained largely unchanged for four years. When Chris was 22, he added "'''Status:''' Single and lonely." Clicking on these words brought one to a new page which consisted of an early list of his girlfriend qualifications. It varies slightly from the one he included in [[Sonichu's News Dash]], produced around the same time. This reflects his shift in priorities: he had discovered [[dating]], and had begun his epic [[Sweetheart Search]].

{{quotebox|
'''The Girl for Christian.
'''

I'm lonely and want a cute female companion.

If you would like to hang with me, I am seeking a girl with the following qualities:

* 18-22 years of age.
* Does not already have a boyfriend.
* Single
* 5' to 5'9"
* Average/Slender weight and body type.
* Does not [[Tobacky|Smoke]] or drink [[Alcohol]]; MAJOR TURN OFF.
* Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville area.
* White.
* Happy, positive personality.
* Young at heart.
* Average/High income.
* Drives a vehicle.
* A Caring girl.
* She has to be pretty.

If you wish to learn more about Christian C, look up his"SonichuCWC" profile on [[Match.com]].

If you want to meet me in person at the places I hang out at, I will be wearing a [[medallion]] that looks like Sonichu's head.
<gallery>
File:190-chumedal.jpg
</gallery>
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Actual face will vary.*

* Christian is a very shy, and very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters (No E-Mails or Phone Calls). So if you are interested, he can be found around [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], or [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]]. When getting his attention, approach and say hi to him. Do NOT flirt from a distance; he will not be able to notice. To find Christian, he’ll be wearing the Sonichu Medallion.}}

==Now in [[Spanish]]==
[[File:480-ElPokeSiteDeRWC2.JPG|thumb|Note the Dutch/Luxembourgish flag, neither the Netherlands nor Luxembourg being associated with Spanish in any way]]
Chris went to the trouble of translating most of the site into Spanish. He didn't quite finish. Here are some samples:

===Introductory sign (see right)===
{{quotebox|
'''El pokesite de RWC 2'''

¡El Pokésite de R.W.C.!es el website con la información actualizacióna de las noticias del pokémon, el juego de tarjetas de pokemon y es un website bueno con las lenguas inglesa y españolas

Español Rocks!}}

Translation:

{{quotebox|
RWCs Pokesite 2:

RWCs Pokesite is the website with the latest news about Pokemon and the Pokemon TGC and is a good website with the spanish and english languages.

Spanish rocks!}}

===Front page===
[[File:Peridico.jpg|300px|right]]
{{quotebox|
Actualizacioné 15/1/2009

'''¡Bienvenido...'''

Al NUEVO y MEJOR PokéSite de RWC 2!

¿Que es alli a suponer en el nuevo PokéSite?

* Un Verdadero Sección Pokémon Juego de Video.
* Un Sección de Arte con los dibujos de tu' y yo.
* Un Sección de los Claves de Pokémon.
* Un sección de los Downloads.
* Actualizacions Noticias mas menudos.
* Kewl Sección de las Cartas.
* Un sección de las Tarjetas de Pokémon.
* Un sección de los kewls enlaces.
* Sobre del Autor: Ricardo W. Chandler.
* Por favor, Escribes en mi Huesped Libro.
* ¡¡¡Y muchos mas!!!

Y, si quieres ver el original El PokéSite de RWC, aquí es el enlance.}}

Chris also translated the "About the Author" section. He did not update this translation after turning 18, and so did not identify himself as "Single and lonely" or include a link to girlfriend requirements, as he would in the English-language version.

===Sobre del Autor: Ricardo W. Chandler.===
{{quotebox|
<gallery>
File:CWC12.png
</gallery>
Es mí general foto de mí escuela secundaria.

Sobre del Autor,

Ricardo W. Chandler.

Día de Cumpleaños: 24/2/1982

Edad: Tengo 18 años.

Ocupación: Graduado desde la Escuela Secundaria Manchester.

Hobbys:

* Juego los juegos de videos...Sonic, Mario, y Pokémon muchos.
* Colecciono las tarjetas de Pokémon.
* Construo con las edificas piezas de lego a crear las estructuras, y los vehículos. O ejamplo, yo creé 24 "Karts" como los "karts" en el juego de video, Mario Kart 64. Y yo dibujé lo mío instruccion en comó creo uno:
<gallery>
File:400-LegKrt1.jpg
File:401-LegKrt2.jpg
</gallery>
* Me gusta dibujar y hacer los proyectos para mí goce. O ejamplo, mís fabricació tarjetas de Pokémon en el Sección de Arte.
* Me gusta todas las músicas. Pero, no me gusta la música furete rock...:(
* Normalmente, yo hablo en inglés, me llamo en inglés, Christian.

Mí sueño:
Yo soñé de cuándo Nintendo y Sega van a juntar y crear un juego de video del Sonic el Puerco Espíno para el "Game Boy." Yo animo el por crear lo mío Nintendo Power revista, pero no está completo ahora; yo estoy al fin de mí sección del "Classified Information". Aquí está mí portada de dibujar:
<gallery>
File:003-NPSon.jpg
</gallery>
Un Cuento de Pokémon.
Yo escribí lo mío cuento de dondé son los Pokémons. El cuento es en inglés. Puedes leer el cuento de hacer clique aquí: Comó los Pokémons Venieron en Nuestros Poké Bolas .

Tienes un bueno día. :)

I\_/I
(o'.'o) ..;;;
{; ;}.;;;''
" "'''}}

==Guestbook==
Seventeen people signed the website's guestbook. Most of the details of the first seven entries appear to have been lost. Since [[Bob]] and [[Barb]] signed the guestbook of his [[CWC's Pokésite 1|first site]], we can assume that Chris pressured them to sign this one too. On 29 July 1999, seven days after launch, a friend signed and told Chris that she hoped he would continue learning HTML. On 30 September, one Mrs. Johnson signed and said that she knew of "others" who would like his website, and that she would let them know about it. The last ten guests are below. One of them was "Sonichu," who says it's a "terrific site." One was a fellow student. Two were companions from the Pokemon league. The last was from a "friend" from PVCC named Nicole. This is rare evidence of a college peer paying Chris any positive attention whatsoever.

8. '''Name:''' AmerZ-ChaN

'''Website:''' [ sonikku7 seisaku ]

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''Time:''' 1999-12-05 00:39:13

'''Comments:''' Weii!! Cute site ^__^;; keep up the good work, maybe I can see a little more of Jiggly Puff...?^^!! hehe, ish my favorite n_n;

---

9. '''Name:''' Mrs. A Raghu

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Richmond, VA

'''Time:''' 2000-01-22 03:55:53

'''Comments:''' Nice Page Christian, Keep up the good work...Pokemon is sooo cute too!! -Mrs. Raghu

---

10. '''Name:''' Jaime

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''From:''' richmond

'''Time:''' 2000-01-22 19:42:18

'''Comments:''' Hola Recardo! ¿Como estas? This is jaime... in your spanish 2 class... really cool site dude... keep up the good work...

---

11. '''Name:''' Scott

'''Website:''' The Pokemon Deck Doctor

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''Time:''' 2000-01-26 01:53:17

'''Comments:''' Good job on the site! I linked to you.

---

12. '''Name:''' Megan Mitchell

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Virginia

'''Time:''' 2000-03-04 02:39:34

'''Comments:''' Hey Christian, This is [[Gal pal#Miranda Joyce Mitchell|Maranda Mitchell]]'s sister. Ijust wanted to tell you, you are very good at drawing. Well see ya later. Megan Mitchell

---

13. '''Name:''' Mrs. Dunlap

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Manchester High School

'''Time:''' 2000-03-16 17:36:14

'''Comments:''' It is nice to see how your website looks after adding your new logos. Did you tell Maranda that you used her logos on your site? Nice Work. See you in class tommorrow.

---

14. '''Name:''' Jarrett Deane

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''From:''' Chesterfield,Virginia

'''Time:''' 2000-04-24 01:42:13

'''Comments:''' Hi Christian it's Jarrett from the Poke'mon League. I'll prove it our gym leader is Mark. We go to Books-a-Million. Our gym leader used to be Lynn. See you Saturday.

---

15. '''Name:''' Sonichu

'''Website:''' El PokeSite de RWC 2!

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''From:''' Poke World

'''Time:''' 2000-07-26 20:06:53

'''Comments:''' Terrific site! 8)

---

16. '''Name:''' Jason

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Charlottesville

'''Time:''' 2000-08-16 03:22:22

'''Comments:''' Hey Christian!! Just checked out your page. Pretty cool!!! I liked the pokemon cards you drew up. Oh, do you know who I am. I met you at the Toys 'R Us league. I beat you with that Moltres stall deck, remember? Good luck at PVCC...and keep the site updated (if you've got time)!! Hasta Lavista, Jason

---

17. '''Name:''' Nicole

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Born in MI, live in VA

'''Time:''' 2000-08-31 04:54:56

'''Comments:''' Hi Christian! Good job! I would never be able to do that. Good luck in all that you do. Your friend from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]- Nicole

==See also==
*[[CWC's Pokésite 1]]
*[[Sonichu.net]]
*[[Spanish]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20010217092458/http://homepages.go.com/~christianchandler/pokste2.htm Internet Archive mirror]

{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

Chris and work

2022-12-12T16:48:00Z

RoseSparrow: /* Internal factors */

{{quote|[...] comments that are truly of Good Intentions of self-improvement and constructive criticism, versus the truly Bad Intentions of spamming actual hate speech (Get A Job).|Chris considers "get a job" to be hate speech and commentary from [[enablers]] kissing his ass to be constructive criticism.}}
[[Image:Heavylifting.jpg|thumb|right|[[Chris]] doing anything that doesn't revolve around [[daydream]]ing over his fantasies.]]

Chris is infamous for his laziness and his dependence on his [[Borb|elderly parents]], which inhibits him from wanting to '''work'''. He briefly held one job - two if pushing it - in his early 20s, but was unsurprisingly fired from them fairly quickly.

Despite his crippling [[debt]], Chris vehemently refuses to even attempt to obtain any kind of employment whatsoever due to wanting to perpetually [[Chris and nostalgia|live like a child]] - a stance that has become so potent that he believes that suggesting it to him should be deemed as "hate speech".<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194090568898494464</ref>

Since being arrested and jailed on charges of [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts committed with his mother]], and with the possibility of Chris being convicted as a sex offender looming ever larger, there exists a strong likelihood that, in the very near future, Chris will find the very prospect of employment itself to go from extremely difficult to outright impossible; and he'd be especially screwed in such a regard due to having no more safety nets from his fanbase since they've lost sympathy for (and the desire to request commissions from) him.

==Reasons for Chris's refusal to work==

===External factors===

With external factors of Chris not getting a job is probably due to many reasons. One of the big factors is laziness. When he worked at Wendy's between August-September of 2001 he later admitted to Jackie on a call that ‘he would take frequent breaks after washing the tables and taking out the trash.’ showing his incompetence towards there being more stuff to do. Another reason could be that he can't get a job because of his twenty one year unemployment gap. Chris being a forty year old male, who has a criminal record, and is in jail for the (alleged) incest with his own mother. has probably dwindled his chances of employment. (like he would ever look for a job in the first place) and if he gets convicted of the (alleged) incest of his mother he would be on the sex offender registry, and have his chances of a job go down drastically. Another reason being that he believes that he has a job in another dimension as a goddess thanks to the influence of the idea guy’s. Another external factor is him claiming to ‘take care’ of his mother (which we all know how that went.) Over the years instead of getting a job to support his mother he instead has slowly started to sell off toys he doesn't play with or doesn't use anymore. Which is not a substantial income and the money Chris does get he wastes it very fast. He claims its for his mothers doctors appointments and dentist appointments but he usually would post a few days later that he had gotten a new toy or a video game, implying that he either was lying about how much the doctors appointments and dentist appointments cost or that he was using his mothers money just for his own selfish needs.

====Criminal record====

Chris, like many of us, has had as least one run in with the [[jerkop|police]]. However, being as exceptional as he is not only has chris managed at least 6 "run-ins" with law enforcement but at least 2 felony charges, multiple misdemonors, an EPO, and a lengthy stay in jail for charges of [[incest]]. Felons have a notoriously hard time finding employment, and being placed on the sex offender registry won't be doing Chris any favors.

====Parental Influence====

Chris's parents, but more so [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], had encouraged him to not be employed, believing that his [[Monthly Tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance]] (SSDI) is all he really needs to support himself - a belief that has ultimately proven to be false with the advent of the [[Financhu Crisis]].

====Negative experiences with workers and [[manajerks|managers]]====

While Chris has not lived a particularly good life unemployed, he also has had some bad experiences with the employees and managers of several of the places he frequented, which further shows some of Chris's views on what it means to be employed. The way he has treated such people provides insight into Chris's delusional ideas about the role of an employee. It is a manager's duty to take action in difficult situations, like if a customer is loitering or causing a disturbance, two things that Chris has done many times in the past. Chris however, unaware of how he should act in public places, only saw such actions as a form of discrimination, solely to keep him from doing as he pleases, whether it be [[Love Quest|soliciting a girlfriend]], or [[Sonic Boom|vandalizing merchandise or property]]. These views are also apparent in some of his comics, where he depicts the employees and managers that have given him a hard time as [[manajerks|corrupt tyrants]] abusing their power.

Chris also has had negative experiences with [[jerkops|mall security guards]]. [[Chris and the law|Chris's run-ins with the law]] have never been pleasant, and even though Chris does not exactly view workers and law enforcement in the same light, law enforcers are still technically employed by some organization. On various occasions, Chris has been shown to [[26 December 2014|bolt out of a Gamestop in fear]] when security is called, suggesting a fear of security guards, likely stemming from [[Chris and the law#2011|previous]] [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris vs. Fashion Square|experiences]].

====Financial Enablers====
{{Main|Enablers}}
In the wake of the Idea Guys, Chris's enabling has gone far beyond just his mother. Chris now has admiring fans that are willing to give him loads of money in order to support him. Even after being arrested, fans continued to send him money through his inmate account.

===Internal factors===

====Autism====

Chris, believing he is an omnipotent and omniscient goddess, doesn't have time for such frivolous things as working to make a living. In October 2017, Chris claimed that he was too busy with CWCville and his imaginary friends, in addition to helping Barb and the pets. In June 2019, Chris claimed that he was already employed by God to oversee the Dimensional Merge. Additionally, ever since Chris's transition, he feels that finding a job runs the risk of being discriminated against for his tomgirl gender, despite the fact that discrimination on the basis of gender is illegal, especially as a result of a Supreme Court ruling on 15 June 2020.

In a moment of self-awareness, Chris fears being incompetent at work, and he claimed in May 2018 that he feared that weens and A-logs will harass him at work, similar to how they harassed the management of The End Games and Anytime Fitness into banning him. However, even those significantly more mentally ill or otherwise disabled can find work, meaning Chris can quickly find easy work if he really wanted to. This shows that Chris will pull any idea out of his ass to avoid having to get off of it and contribute to society.

====Lack of Marketable Skills====
As evidenced by his resume and lack of education, Chris lacks any marketable skills or education to get anything beyond a minimum wage job in the retail or fast food industry. Given his aforementioned lofty goals for salary and demanding things like having an assistant; Chris grossly overestimates what kind of a job one can find with an outdated Associate's degree and a brief employment at Wendy's.

====General Laziness====
Chris, being as lazy as he is, would find trouble keeping a job for long due to this laziness. This is evidenced by his brief stint as a Wendy's employee. In which he is quoted as taking "frequent breaks" and not taking care of his uniform.

==Past Stance on Employment==

In the past, Chris has shown some degree of interest in pursuing a career, but only for his own personal gain, rather than so that he can move out of his parents' house and obtain a degree of self-sufficiency. For example, although he expressed an interest in becoming a comic book artist, working for either Archie or DC,<ref>Chris's resume</ref>, he has also stated, when he completes his Love Quest, that he would stay at home while his wife works, showing that Chris was somewhat hesitant even before then. Other sources point to Chris believing that obtaining a job is only necessary to pick up a girlfriend, which is evident when he decided to take up a job in Cutco Cutlery at the beginning of his [[Love Quest]].

Key insight into Chris's attitude towards job hunting is found in his [[resume]], which has not been updated in over a decade. In it, Chris shows he did not understand what constitutes work experience, let alone its importance. For example, he believes that doing "volunteer work" for the Pokémon Leagues at the GAMe PLACe counts as work experience. In reality, mere "volunteer work" does not typically catch the eye of most employers. Also, Chris was not a gym leader as he claimed, but rather was a substitute when the actual Gym Leader was not available. Finally, even if this could be taken into account, what experience he obtained is likely negligible, as he had no authority over the players, and was, in fact, carefully supervised by the staff. In the same résumé, he cites his production of comics as work experience, despite the fact that he was not doing this in a professional setting, and that the product itself leaves a lot to be desired.

The résumé also shows that, in his entire adult life, not even a fraction of his time was spent on an actual job, let alone one that is full-time in a professional environment. Counting all of the positions he had that did not involve being a [[Pokémon|Gym Leader's Assistant]] or working on his ''Sonichu'' comics, his total work experience amounts to a grand total of 5 months, at most. This estimate is generous because, while he claimed to have worked at Wendy's for 2 months on his résumé, he also claimed that he was already fired on [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]] to [[Kacey]]'s father. Please note that this was only across an entire two-year gap between working each of the two positions he held.

==List of Jobs on Dimension 1218==

===Wendy's===
{{Main|Wendy's}}

The first place Chris attempted to work at was at his local Wendy's. While there, his primary duties were custodial in nature rather than food preparation or direct customer interaction. Despite painting himself as an employee that "serves the customers with kind, understanding help", accounts from employers and customers have shown him to be a rude and difficult employee to work with. Chris was later fired from the restaurant, giving vague and contradictory answers about his dismissal.

===Cutco Cutlery===
{{Main|Cutco}}

The second and final job that Chris claims to have worked was through Cutco Cutlery, a multi-level marketing company that primarily sells overpriced knives. The company itself is deemed to be a notorious pyramid scheme and borderline scam that generally targets high school students, college students, and gullible idiots like Chris with no work experience. Chris claims to have lost this job after his boss "left at summer's end". Chris had obtained this job during the beginning of his Love Quest, which also showcases that Chris believed getting a job is only for people who want to have a girlfriend, even believing that having the job just magically improved his social skills. This job alone, believe it or not, was what made him believe himself to be a "Natural Salesperson". After this job, Chris would go out of his way to produce his [[Attraction Sign]]s, and advertise this one quality in it.

===Other Employers===

Besides Wendy's and Cutco, Chris has attempted to apply for a handful of other jobs, to no avail, probably due to him complaining about trolls on his resume and believing he had held positions he considered signified employment, but was actually community service.

==Current Stance on Employment==

{{quote|Therefore, for all of you Haterade-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions. But, I Digress.|Chris claiming he's already employed in an alternate dimension}}

Considering how trolls, weens, enablers, and, quite frankly, Chris himself has completely mangled and destroyed his background check over the years, it is little wonder why he has lost any hope of obtaining a job. Chris even stated he was fully aware of this in a Facebook post he made on 3 [[April 2017]]. In the same post, however, he also claims that he would still refuse to obtain a job, even without all of the crazy shit that has happened in his life. He claims to fear the possibility of being discriminated against for being autistic, transgender, and having a lesbian soul. In the modern workforce, however, this misgiving is highly unjustified, as any kind of discrimination based on gender, disability or sex is usually frowned upon in the workforce, and leaves the employer liable for legal action or federal/state sanctions/fines. Besides the former two reasons, Chris claimed that gaining employment would be redundant, as he believes taking care of his aging parents actually counts as employment, despite not being paid for it.

===Job as a Goddess===
Chris now appears to believe that his true occupation at the moment is being the goddess of an alternate dimension, thanks to the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], [[Jacob Sockness]] and several other influences. In the span of two years after the aforementioned Facebook post, Chris would state on at least two occasions that he believes that the ability to support himself financially by working a job is completely useless.<ref>[[October 2018 social media posts#Response to "GET A JOB"]]</ref><ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Chris claims to be employed overseeing Dimensional Merge]]</ref> As a matter of fact, in one of these occasions, he had actually stated that he is far too enlightened and above societal expectations to obtain an actual job, simply due to an absurd comparison he makes between the amount of time the universe will exist for against how much time he would work at a job.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210208080437/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1049442246116790272</ref> As evident in the same post, as well as in a subsequent one, he actually believes that obtaining a job should not be mandatory, and even goes so far as to state that the citizens of [[CWCville]] are not required to obtain a job.

=== Can Chris get a (real-life) job now? ===
Many observers have admitted that it is too late for Chris to get a job now,<ref>Law-Talking Guy (28 February 2020). [https://archive.md/7GWGx Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 17 July 2020.</ref> and this was long before his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] for engaging in [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts with his mother]] permanently crippled his chances. In addition to his various [[Chris and the law|run-ins with the law]] and his local reputation for [[List of places that have banned Chris|public tantrums and violence]], Chris is {{age|1982|02|24}} years old with only [[Wendy's|one bad month of minimum-wage employment]] back in 2001, a worthless [[CADD]] certificate,<ref>The [[CADD]] certificate is worthless, because, in addition to the fallout between Chris and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], he only produced two menial pieces of work, and has not continued to develop his CADD skills after getting the certificate.</ref> a very brief {{w|multi-level marketing}} [[Cutco|stint]], and over a decade and a half's worth of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|unsavory information]] about him on the internet.<ref>Bombsaway (18 December 2019). [https://archive.md/VUWuy Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 19 December 2019.</ref> Chris has also not applied for a job since [[Kacey Call 21|September 2009]], and his [[:File:Scan0001.jpg|Sonichu-laden]] resume is both long out-of-date and unimpressive even for the standards of when it was made.

Chris being charged with a felony and/or placed on the Sex Offender Registry will likely be the final death blow to any sort of chance of him finding a job in the future. However, even if he does manage to miraculously find work somehow, there is a very, ''very'' significant chance that wannabe [[weens]] and [[A-Log]]s will harass his employer into terminating him as soon as they get wind of it; similar to how they harassed the management of [[The End Games]] and [[Anytime Fitness]] into [[ban|banning]] him simply because he was there.<ref name=harassment>[[May 2018 social media posts#A new excuse not to get a job|May 2018 social media posts § A new excuse not to get a job]]</ref>

In short, Chris's claims that he can never get a job may be valid, albeit for different reasons to what he has in mind. Nearly all employers are unwilling to tolerate any person with that kind of background, especially with what we know now.

==Chores==
{{Dated}}
{{quote|I work hard for my father in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!|Chris, [[Father_Call#Maturity_and_Chores_.2839:17-48:08.29|telling a former U.S. Marine]] about the "heavy burdens" in his life}}

Aside from a few part-time jobs, from which he got fired shortly after being accepted, Chris is also responsible for doing certain '''chores''' around the household. To him, chores are menial tasks that [[Barb]] forces him to perform for her. Since these chores are the closest thing in Chris's life resembling actual work, and one of the few things taking him away from his [[video games]], [[Chris and reality|going into deep thought about other dimensions]] and attending [[BronyCon]], they are a frequent source of [[stress]] and complaining for Chris. On the other hand, Chris also sees these chores as nothing more than to prove that he is not lazy, in which case he believes these chores are a good example of what a hard-working, respectable, [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] he really is.

===Chris loves chores===
[[Image:0720-PattisDoghuseISO.JPG|thumb|right|"That thing had to weigh, like, 5, 10 tons!"]]
[[Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|thumb|right|Bob working alone in the garden, on the verge of a 4th heart attack.]]

Chris's most notorious mention of his chores is in the [[Father Call]], where he desperately tries to prove his worthiness to [[Matthew Devoria]] by listing some of the "hard work" he has done around the house, such as sitting on a riding lawnmower, moving chairs and carrying a [[Patti Chandler|doghouse]] across the yard. In fact, many of the "chores" he whines about are things he only did literally one time. He also compares his pulling weeds in the "hot, hot sun" to war veteran Matt's time served in the Gulf War.

Chris does not limit himself to only doing chores in real life. He also enjoys spending hours upon hours performing virtual chores in ''[[Animal Crossing Documentary|Animal Crossing]]''. These are his favorite chores to do, because not only is he able to sit on his fat ass all day while tapping at his controller, he is also rewarded for performing these tasks! As fun as this sounds, by his early 30s it seems to just be another part of Chris's daily routine, at one point telling [[Julie]] that he had to take a break from his computer to "get [his] chores done in ACCityFolk".<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 6]]</ref> He eventually stopped doing these chores all together after his GameCube disintegrated in the [[2014]] [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]].

In Chris's other favorite fictional world, [[CWCville]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] also does his share of the housework, as Chris elaborately explained in [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 his CWCipedia bio]. Between fighting evil-doers and saving the world from homosexuality, he even finds time to mow the lawn with his loyal wife [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]. After the kids have been sent off to school, Sonichu and Rosechu go out and vacuum to the extreme!<ref>[[A Sonichu Day]]</ref> Chris, on the other hand, is far too busy with his [[Sub-Episodes|mayoral duties]] to worry about chores, so instead he makes his secretary, [[Allison Amber]], do all of the work.

Chris [[dreams]] of one day being a "house husband", doing chores for his [[Sweetheart|wife]] and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]] at home all day, while the wife goes to work and earns money for the family. In a chat with [[Clyde Cash]], Clyde questions Chris's ability to take care of himself and his sweetheart. This causes Chris to go on for what seems like an hour, listing all the chores he is capable of performing around the house. He is very proud of his ability to load dishes into the dishwasher and put garbage into a trash can.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Despite these many difficult, stressful, back-breaking chores that Chris spends his time doing, the Chandler family's [[14 Branchland Court|house]] was still a disgusting pigsty that Bob falsely believed was on the verge of [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|being condemned]] by the Greene County Health Department; before it actually burned down, the fire was being exacerbated by the mountains of junk held inside. In a call with [[Alec Benson Leary]], when this conundrum is pointed out to Chris, he desperately mashed the buttons on his phone and hung up to try and get out of explaining himself.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]], 7:18 in</ref>

===Chris hates chores===
[[Image:Chrisgarden.jpg|thumb|right|Chris tries convincing his dead dog to finish his yardwork for him.]]

Chris spends a lot of time trying to avoid doing what he is so proud of. Barbara constantly gets Chris to do things for her. This sometimes drags him away from his [[Chris and the Internet|friends]], [[Sweetheart|love life]] and [[Sonic Boom Protests|other business]]. He has also hidden out at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|the mall]] for hours, just so his mother's demands that he do a "hefty chore" wouldn't disrupt his [[Chris and art|creative genius]].<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref>

He also blames Barb for his house being so messy in the first place. His usual go-to excuse for the state of his house is to call her a "pack rat", even having the balls to [[Chris and hypocrisy|call her lazy]] for not cleaning anything up. Barbara apparently leaves junk lying all over the house, but Chris would rather go days [[HairDifference|without showering]] than figure out how to move some of Barbara's junk to another room, claiming he "doesn't know what to do" with any of it. His room itself is extremely messy, with it being filled with thousands of legos and toys that he refuses to throw out.

Chris's parents also make him pay the family's bills, possibly as an attempt to make him feel like a real adult. Chris, of course, complains about having to give up a large percentage of his "[[tugboat]]" for these bills. He puts off paying them for as long as possible so he can use his hard-earned money for [[Sex toys|more important necessities]]. In one of her [[Mumble_2#People_Love_Poketunes|rare Mumble appearances]], Chris lied to Barbara about paying the bills for that month, at first whining that he was being "[[Honest Content|honest]]", but eventually gave in to the fear of being punished by his mother and admitted he did not pay ALL of them. But, he will "be sure to pay the remaining differences next month"!

{{quote|I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I scrub the floors [[ShowerClean|with 409 and paper towels]]. It's really hard work. Back-breaking!|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris explains why he hasn't had time to work on his comic]]}}

In 2020, Chris said that he and Barb both do equal amounts of chores, despite Barb being aged nearly 80.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 11]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Chris and business]]
*[[Chris and money]]
*[[Chris and stress]]
*[[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]]
*[[Dimensions]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

==References==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
{{Fantasies}}

[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Barbara Chandler

2022-12-12T14:23:02Z

RoseSparrow: /* Life with Bob */

{{Honest}}

{{Unreliable|type=cred|Barb has a long history [[Gal_Pal_E-mails_3#Borb_vs_MAGfest|manipulating]] people.|She might also have dementia or some other cognitive disability. Alternatively, she may be faking dementia symptoms on camera.}}

{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend [[Love Quest|finding yourself]] a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris feigns giving advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13#Paging Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud...]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She [[Death threats|threatens to kill me]] in her episode of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]].</ref>}}

{{quote|Barbara was more of a “Guilty Pleasure” waifu|Chris [[Chris and escapism#Roleplaying|roleplaying]] as Magi-Chan, demonstrating his [[Chris and sex#Incest|Oedipal complex]].}}

{{Infobox Person
|name = Barbara Chandler
|image = July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|imagesize=250px|
|birthname = Barbara Ann Weston
|aliases = Barb Bobcat [[Obesity|Snorlax]] [[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|Sugar Darling]] Barbie Barbie Chan<ref>[[June 2021 social media posts#Decent flashlight]]</ref> lady friend<ref>[[Incest fallout chat leaks]]</ref> Merlin<ref>[[Jail Letter - 11 January 2022]]</ref>
|label3 = Date of Birth
|year = 1941
|month = 10
|day = 1
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|spouse = Ran Coleman Yeatts Sr. (1961–1963, divorce) Walter Jerome Harmon Jr. (1968-1980) [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]] (1980–2011, his death)
|children = [[Cole Smithey|Joseph Cole Smithey]] [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|father = Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955)
|mother = Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967)
|occupation = Magician's assistant (1967-1976) Office worker (retired)
|saga = {{saga|childhood|cn}}, {{saga|greene|cn}}, {{saga|gameplace|cn}}, {{saga|julie|cn}}, {{saga|emily|cn}}, {{saga|liquid|cn}}, {{saga|asperchu|cn}}, {{saga|secondexile|cn}}, {{saga|incest|cn}}
}}

'''Barbara Ann Chandler'''<ref>[[:File:Barbara Chandler Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.png]]</ref> (''née'' '''Weston''', formerly '''Yeatts''' and '''Smithey'''; born 1 {{w|1941#October|October 1941}}<ref name=Harvey155>https://web.archive.org/web/20170903151241/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and the mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since, although Chris did have other, more twisted "gifts" in mind for his mother over twenty years later.

Though Bob has remained relatively popular with [[Trolls]] and Christorians alike, the same cannot be said for Barbara, who has been consistently disliked by nearly everyone but Chris and her late husband – with many members of her own family distancing themselves from her at least since at least the funeral of one of [[Aunt Corrina|Chris's aunts]]. Whereas Bob eventually recognized his shortcomings as a parent to Chris and attempted to correct them late into his life, Barbara has consistently been one of the biggest enablers of Chris's bad behavior since he was a child, on top of emotionally manipulating, threatening, and on occasion physically abusing him (elements which Chris would turn around and use on her later in her life). Barbara has been instrumental in turning Chris into the spoiled manchild that he is, and like Bob before her, has encouraged him not to seek a serious career path in favor of [[Monthly tugboat|getting welfare off of his condition]], in spite of the fact that he could get a minimum-wage job and still qualify for welfare.

It has long been suspected that she has some form of narcissistic personality disorder, which goes hand-in-hand with what we know about her neglectful to abusive relationship with Chris, along with his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]], who received a much worse treatment from her. Her hoarding habits also indirectly lead to the [[2014 house fire]], as sparks from a coffee maker that had no business being plugged into an extension cord in the bathroom burned the paper, plastic, and wood in the room before engulfing the house, and much of the [[Financhu Crisis]] is subsequently on her. Nonetheless, Chris remains unaware of just how bad a parent she's been to him, and he continues to cling to her in an Oedipal fashion (to a horrifying degree, as we'd later find out) as she approaches death's door, and he's no closer to becoming a self-sufficient adult two decades after graduating high school.

For much of the Classic Era of Christory, Barbara was extremely obese and napped a lot (earning her the nickname "{{w|Snorlax}}", after the fat, sleepy [[Pokémon]] of the same name), but she has since shed a ton of weight in her twilight years. This sharp loss of weight, loss of hair color, and knowledge of her son's status as a living internet meme all factored into her role in appearing in multiple begging videos, alongside reportedly playing up senility for the camera to [[Chris and manipulation|manipulate]] viewers into paying for donations. (Whether or not Barb was "just acting" senile remains unclear, particularly with later events in mind.) Unfortunately, [[Chris and money|much like her son]], she spends most of the donations that she receives on frivolous crap rather than working to resolve her mounting [[debt]] that which will be placed upon Chris after she kicks the bucket.

Nonetheless, some offered sympathy to Barb in light of some incredibly dark revelations late into her life. Near the end of [[July 2021]], Chris told [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] that [[Affair with Mother|he began an incestuous relationship with Barbara]], long speculated to be suffering from some form of degenerative brain disease, which Chris later indicated was possible; by extension could mean that she may have been [[Chris and sex#Rape|unable to consent]] with her son. Audio of this revelation quickly leaked out to the internet at large. Chris previously told [[Null]] that he'd found a [[boyfriend-free girl]] over the age of 50 who was an accountant years ago – details which match up with a description of who Barb is – leading Null to believe that Chris found a girlfriend who he didn't want people to find out about before eventually realizing that Chris screwed his own mother. Following this horrifying news, Null severed his ties with Chris, and the damage done was swift and immeasurable as both Chris and Barb were vacated from [[14 Branchland Court]] and separated by [[Jerkops|the authorities]], with Barb being placed under medical care and [[Jail Saga|Chris being sent to jail, awaiting trial]].

Barb returned to her residence at some point in [[August 2021]]<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210904171746/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aug-29-2021-barb-returned-to-14bc.99387//]</ref>, apparently appearing more rattled than usual.<ref>[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref> In an [[October 2021]] letter to a fan, Chris mentioned that he had received a letter from Barb during his stay in jail.<ref name=25letter>[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021 (Virginia fan)]]</ref> A [[November 2021]] letter to [[Other enablers#Kenneth Engelhardt|Kengle]] revealed that Barb was involved in a car crash claiming that she had suffered two broken ribs and a concussion, and has since been at the mercy of senior caregivers and extended family members who had never wanted to see her ever again until hearing about what she'd been through.<ref>[https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/latest-letter-from-cwc-dated-november-30th-barbara-injured-in-a-automobile-accident.2011/]</ref> This was later confirmed by a CarFax report<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-latest-letter-to-kengle-barb-sustains-serious-injuries-in-automobile-accident-30th-november.107209/page-13#post-10675538 Confirmation of Barb's 2002 Dodge Caravan being totaled]</ref> and Barb being charged with Fail to Yield Right-of-Way for the incident.<ref>[[:File:Barbara Chandler Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.png]]</ref>

==Spelling of name==
Barbara's high school yearbook and both her marriage licenses spell her full maiden name as ''Barbara '''Ann''' Weston'', as do other sources like Harvey Powers's genealogical website<ref name=Harvey155/> (her divorce decree omits the middle name entirely). Chris, however, usually (though not consistently) spells her name as ''Barbara '''Anne''' Weston Chandler'' with an e. This may be because he believes she is named after [[Anne Boleyn]].

==Early life==
[[Image:Babs1960.PNG|thumb|left|Barbara's senior photo from high school. While she looks pretty here, she would not age well.]]
{{Quote|Her life was a Redneck Simple Country one. She had mastered sewing, mending and making clothes and other farm-life facets and Church-Going habits.|Chris describes his mother's childhood<ref>[[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022]]</ref>}}
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston, a [[RandomSong1|farmer]] (1896–1955) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967). They married in 1926 when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was 29 or 30]].<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170825073641/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html</ref> Otto died in 1955, after falling from a horse-drawn wagon.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200603075643/http://genealogytrails.com/vir/charlotte/obits_w.html</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180425032751/http://www.harveypowers.com:80/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref> For whatever reason, Barb believes that she is descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], but this is impossible given that Elizabeth I, Boleyn's only daughter, died without an heir. She also thinks that a more recent ancestor named [[Daniel Weston]] boarded the ''Mayflower'', but no such person exists.

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|Barb, emboldened by her hoard, evolved into a Snorlax over time.]]

Barb grew up on a low-income farming household in [[Wikipedia:Red Oak, Virginia|Red Oak, Virginia]], a rural area in the far south of the state. An early memory from when she was two years old was seeing her father covered in silver paint, having fallen off the roof while painting it and nearly killed himself (had he been drinking on the job?).<ref>[[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022]]</ref> She graduated from {{w|Randolph-Henry High School}} in Charlotte Court House, Virginia in 1960. Due to family poverty, she was obliged to sew her own clothing.<ref name=younger>[[June 2021 social media posts#Chris larps as his younger self]]</ref> While at Randolph-Henry, she was treasurer of her school's chapter of the [[Women's rights|Future Homemakers of America]], a member of the Randolph-Henry bus patrol, a typist for her school yearbook, ''The Log'', a member of both the [[Spanish]] Club and the Library Club, as well as the Monogram Club and a cheerleader. She was also a member of many other school organizations, suggesting that she was very involved in extracurricular activities while in high school. She was also known for her perfect attendance record from her sophomore through her senior years of high school. According to her senior yearbook, her nickname in high school was Bobcat.

Barb had two boyfriends in high school, one of whom was [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Tom Ashby]], who would later marry her younger sister Harriet. According to a [[January 2012 Facebook Posts#February is coming up|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 29 January 2012, Barbara lost her virginity during her high school years. Why Chris knows this is anyone's guess, although it's possible that he learned the basic principles of [[Honest Content]] from Mommy Dearest. In a [[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022|letter]] from 10 May 2022, however, Chris denies that Barbara ever had sex with her high school boyfriends, although he claims that her sisters accused her of doing so.

According a [[Incest Texts|leaked message]] to [[Bella]], Barbara has had sex with eight different men over the course of her life (not including Chris). She claims to have never [[mass debating|masturbated]].

Shortly after graduating from high school in 1960, Barb left Red Oak and "decided to set off on her own... [[Love Quest|in search for romance and her future]]". Apparently she left in order to go to college, breaking off her relationship with Tom, who was one year her junior. After Barb moved away, "her siblings, cousins, and others in Redoak" began to spread rumors about her and call her a slut in her absence. Around this time her mother also disowned her.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Chris has scabies too]]</ref> As it turned out, her relationship with her family would never get much better. Barb's relationship with Harriet and Tom is especially strained. Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived Corrina.<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref>

According to Chris, Barb majored in "accounting and numbers".<ref name=younger></ref> Where Barb attended college is unknown, but it may have been {{w|Wake Forest College}}, where her first husband Ran Coleman Yeatts was studying at the time. Wherever it was, she probably dropped out in 1961, when he graduated and married her. Her marriage certificate to Bob indicates that she never obtained a degree.

==Cole and his various fathers==
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|left|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

From approximately 1961 through 1980, Barbara lived in [[Richmond]]. Over the course of her adult life prior to meeting Bob she had relationships with five men, three of whom are known by name.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she is {{w|Maury Povich}} trash.

Based on his experiences with various stepfathers, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates".<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The use of "scurrilous" in this statement makes no sense, suggesting [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] tries to use [[Chris and English|big]] words to impress people – a family trait, perhaps.

===Ran Coleman Yeatts===
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts Sr., from the 1961 Wake Forest College yearbook.]]

Records found by Cole in Richmond show that Barb married one '''Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts''' on June 17, 1961. Yeatts was born on 27 December 1939 in {{w|Pittsylvania County, Virginia}} but grew up in {{w|South Hill, Virginia|South Hill}}, a town about 35 miles east of Red Oak which also happens to be the hometown of Barb's mother Carrie and her moonshiner dad.<ref name=yeatts>[http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372 Ran Coleman Yeatts obituary]</ref> Yeatts graduated from {{w|Park_View_High_School_(South_Hill,_Virginia)|Park View High School}} in South Hill in 1957 (not to be mistaken with {{w|Park_View_High_School_(Loudoun_County,_Virginia)|Park View High School}} in {{w|Sterling,_Virginia|Sterling, Virginia}}), and later that year he was enrolled at {{w|Wake Forest College}} in {{w|Winston-Salem, North Carolina}} (now Wake Forest University).<ref>https://lib.digitalnc.org/record/28659?ln=en#?c=0&m=0&s=0&cv=94&r=0&xywh=2347%2C1534%2C681%2C414</ref><ref>https://lib.digitalnc.org/record/28685?ln=en#?c=0&m=0&s=0&cv=77&r=0&xywh=1396%2C1140%2C926%2C414</ref><ref>https://lib.digitalnc.org/record/28686?ln=en#?c=0&m=0&s=0&cv=81&r=0&xywh=460%2C1252%2C1363%2C609</ref><ref>https://lib.digitalnc.org/record/28677?ln=en#?c=0&m=0&s=0&cv=64&r=0&xywh=2241%2C1842%2C1441%2C875</ref> He graduated from Wake Forest with a Bachelor of Arts degree in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref> Coincidentally, Bob Chandler was also living in Winston-Salem around the same time, where he was married to Patricia Faye Harley and working as an engineer.

According to their marriage certificate, Ran was living in Richmond at the time of the marriage, while Barb was still living in Red Oak. They were married at a Baptist church in {{w|Wylliesburg, Virginia}} near Red Oak (which the divorce documents misspell as "Sylliesburg").

A divorce was granted to Barb on 15 May 1963, at which point she was pregnant with Cole and living in Richmond. The decree states that Ran deserted her on 28 April 1962, although the final digit in "1962" appears to have been altered from a "3". The divorce license lists "0" children, although it is unclear if such a document would have taken unborn Cole into account. Cole was born shortly after the divorce on 24 July 1963.

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him during his childhood and be introduced as a "friend of the family".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts later remarried and died aged 67 on 6 June 2007. His obituary in the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' makes no mention of Cole or Barb, although Ran did have a grandson also named Cole.<ref name=yeatts/>

<center><gallery>
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce
</gallery></center>

===Jack Smithey===
Barb insists that Cole's father is '''Jack Dale Smithey''', to whom she claims she was once married. However, Cole was unable to find a marriage license for the couple or any photographs from their alleged wedding.<ref name="coleemail2" /> Indeed, Christorians have been frustrated in their efforts to locate any such evidence; their ability and persistence in documenting everything Chris-adjacent rivals that of any private detective. In 1995, Cole's friend, syndicated cartoonist {{w|Ted Rall}}, made an Internet post questioning the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the year Cole was born) and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref> Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref> Nevertheless, newspaper articles from the 1960s indicate that she used the surname Smithey up until she married Jerry Harmon in 1968.

According to Barbara, she and Jack had a "fancy" wedding which was attended by her sisters and mother. Chris told Cole that Barbara considers Jack "a total drunk and loser".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

In [[July 2021]], (in the middle of his incestuous affair with her), Chris asked Barbara about her relationship with Jack.

{{quote|Short story of it is that Jack and Barbie went out, sexed up, knocked her up.

Then he hit the road; was not in it to be a daddy. The life on the open road called out to him more.|Chris on Jack}}

Chris also mentioned that no photos of Jack were kept at home, though they did have photos of Jerry.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Barbara's ex]]</ref>

===Jerry Harmon===
[[Image:JerryHarmonandBarb.PNG|thumb|Jerry Harmon performing magic tricks with Barb assisting him, December 1968.]]

'''Walter Jerome "Jerry" Harmon, Jr.''' is Barbara's former lover and the alleged sinister stepfather of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Jerry was born on July 1st, 1931 in {{w|Springfield, Massachusetts}} but grew up in {{w|Millboro, Virginia}} and later Richmond. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> However there is a divorce record that Jerry and Barbara married in 18 June 1968 at Washington D.C. and divorced on 7 January 1980 after one year of living apart, three weeks before Bob had divorced his first wife Patricia. In a Facebook comment from 2020, Cole claims that Jerry adopted him in 1966.<ref>https://www.facebook.com/blendonlodge339/posts/1084760088251976</ref>

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

{{quote|He might not have been the best dad, but Jerry was a humanitarian, as evidenced by his actions.|Cole being more charitable towards Jerry.<ref>https://www.colesmithey.com/articles/2017/09/operation-snowball-my-first-career-in-show-business.html</ref>}}
{{-}}

In his article "[[Saturday Night Special]]", Cole would further elaborate about his first stepfather. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond during the early 1970s. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head. Cole would later remove this article from his blog.

In a later article, "[[Operation Snowball|Operation Snowball: My First Career in Show Business]]", Cole describes how Jerry, Barb and himself took part in an annual traveling magic show which performed at mental hospitals in Virginia every [[Christmas]] season from 1967 to 1976. The trio performed under the name of "King Karnak, Barbie, and Cole". Each show would end with Jerry chopping off Barb's head with a guillotine.<ref>https://www.colesmithey.com/articles/2017/09/operation-snowball-my-first-career-in-show-business.html</ref><ref>https://www.facebook.com/blendonlodge339/posts/1084760088251976</ref> Interestingly, Jerry married Rose LaNora Lotts in 1981, whom he first met when she was employed as an assistant for "King Karnak", suggesting that she replaced Barb in more ways than one.<ref>http://sjf.stparchive.com/Archive/SJF/SJF01221981P08.php</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:JerryAndBarbDivorce.png|1980 1 7 - Barb and Jerry's divorce record
</gallery></center>

==Life with Bob==
[[File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|thumb|1980 6 7 - Borb's marriage license]]
[[File:Barab?.JPG|thumb|Seen in the background of a 2020 photograph; this is probably Barb's wedding portrait]]

{{quote|He is only interested in making things look like he did 'em, it was his idea and I really didn't have anything to do with it. Even when I help him. I get no credit for anything. He never gives me credit to my face. Or if he's talking to anybody else. Just like he tells you sometimes, “Well I don't get no help from your mother.”|Barb ranting about her husband to Chris<ref>[[Kacey Call 15]]</ref>}}

[[Bob Chandler|Bob]] and Barbara met at "Maddy's Pub" in Richmond<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Fear of the future]]</ref> (probably Matt's British Pub in Shockoe Slip, where Bob was a sing-along leader)<ref>[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]]</ref> one night in 1979. Barbara was there with friends and [[Bob]] was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, vividly recalled them being a pair of drunken dumbasses.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" /> Chris claims that "Barbara, In her own words, Married him because 'He owned a house'".<ref>[[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022]]</ref> Later that year Bob was transferred from Richmond to [[Charlottesville]]. They settled in the outlying suburb of [[Ruckersville]].

Barbara worked for several years as a secretary for Virginia Power (VEPCO, today called [[Wikipedia:Dominion Energy|Dominion Energy]]) in the finance department.<ref name=younger></ref>

In September [[1993]], Chris and Bob moved from Ruckersville to Chesterfield County near Richmond so that Chris would be able to attend middle school at a mainstream school.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> Barbara did not accompany them and remained in Ruckersville. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement and that she still visited Bob and Chris every weekend during the time she lived separately from them. After going into retirement when Chris was in the eighth grade (early 1996), Barbara came to live with her husband and son in Chesterfield.<ref>[[Mailbag 32#Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes]]</ref><ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they spent their twilight years from 2000 onward living in their Ruckersville home with Chris. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the [[14_Branchland_Court|family home]] and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house. According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They began sleeping in different rooms sometime around the mid-2000s "because they're not as close as they should, used to or can be".<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> It can be presumed that as they got older, they grew more distant, but never to the point of wanting a divorce.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>

==Treatment of Chris==

[[File:Barbara1993cropped.png|thumb|Barb c. 1993.]]
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|Age was not kind to Barb.]]

===Abuse and manipulation===
{{quote|And he told me of mom saying she was going to pack up and leave the house, then I ran downstairs, finding her on the couch; she was soo miserable and sad; she talked of Wanting to Die, "you don't even have to change my clothes, you can just bury me in what I have on." I was soo sad and crying and soo sorry for the way I misbehaved; we hugged and made up a bit.|An example of Barb's manipulation.<ref name=magfest>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref>}}

Barb has had a long history of abusing and/or [[Chris and manipulation|manipulating]] her children. For example, she has often used threats of suicide to guilt Chris into obeying her whims. When Bob and Chris once tried to discuss cleaning the hoard to Barb, she responded by threatening suicide.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200810205450/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-1-12-skylanders-imaginators-leader-christine-w-chandler-random-review-n-stuff.27570/page-9 </ref>
She also threatened suicide to her family during the [[Ivy]] Saga, supposedly as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

In an episode from 2011, when Chris failed to book himself a hotel room for [[MAGfest]], due to being broke, and planned to sleep in his car,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 29]]</ref> Barb prevented him from going by pointing out the "crime risk and chilly temperatures", threatening to lock him out of their house, claiming that she would pack up and leave, and later told him she wanted to die. After Chris folded and went to his room to cry about it, she gave him a "half-payment of a copy of DC Universe Online to make up for not allowing [him] to go".<ref name=magfest></ref> Later that year, after Chris became a [[tomgirl]], Barb tried to stop him from wearing dresses and make-up by telling him she feared he would kill her. She then ordered him to sit down, and she cut his hair.<ref name="jackie26"></ref>

It also appears that Chris's diet is not a concern for Barb. The night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and has not made a meal for Chris since then.<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

In addition, Barb has used the specter of old age for her own gain, by manipulating Chris into thinking she will have a heart attack. This tactic has been used so often that Chris will panic and call 911 if Barb does not answer the phone when he calls her to check up on her when he is out of the house.<ref>Comments from Marvin on Kiwi Farms, gone when the site was taken down.</ref> When Barb and Chris were both arrested for [[assault and battery]], Chris was extremely worried about her health, saying in an e-mail:

{{quotebox|My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother

Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her.}}

The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] summed up Chris's relationship with Barb:

{{quoteboxgreen|Well, I don't think they talk very much. However, no, Chris is Barb's hand servant. She screams for him and he comes running. She has him change the newspaper the dogs shit on, she has him run errands to bring her stuff, and she used to have him haul her goodwill crap to the car, and then from the car into the house.

''...''

I think Barb's yelling has gotten much less frequent nowadays. It seems like she's pretty feeble nowadays. Chris is just as scared of Barb as he used to be though. I don't think he realizes how much power he has over Barb nowadays.

They're really physically affectionate in a strange way. Chris is pretty touchy feely with women because of habits he learned by spending time with Barb.<ref name=qualified>https://web.archive.org/web/20210906155444/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/is-chris-really-qualified-to-be-caring-for-barb.16435/page-4</ref>}}

After Bob died, Barb's abuse of Chris escalated. She treated him as a slave and forced him to be on-call at all times. Around [[2013]], she forced Chris to move out of his bedroom, specifically so she could bark orders at him more efficiently, by throwing a tantrum and wrecking his possessions.

{{quoteboxgreen|a few months to a year before the fire, Chris stopped being permitted to sleep separately from Barb, in his bedroom. He had to sleep closer to Barb, because she needed to be able to yell for him to go to [[sheetz]] and buy her crap, and he wasn't able to hear her up in his bedroom. He kind of tried to resist at first, but then she got super pissed and threw a tantrum. She wrecked his room and like flipped everything over because he was trying to sleep on his own.<ref name=qualified/>}}

===Financial exploitation===
{{quote|she is also being Very Annoying. “Christine, Let’s put this random good item on eBay. I REALLY Need the Money for not only my bill payments, but also, we need more food here. I am greedy too.”

“OH! You sold something of Yours? I Want $50 From That”, she is constantly pestering and bugging me. Nowadays, Nearly every time she comes downstairs to talk or chill, my Impulsive, Subconscious feeling of her presence is Cringe and “Oh, No! She’s gonna Bug Me Again of the Da** Finances Again!”|Chris<ref>[[September 2018 social media posts]]</ref>}}

===Pampering===
{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his {{w|Oedipus complex}}.<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Yes, dear.|Chris, addressing Barb<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]</ref>}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz.
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|The second page.
</gallery>
</center>

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|[[Affair with Mother|Horrifyingly qualifies as foreshadowing.]]]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the manifestation of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment. A less subtle case of foreshadowing.]]

While both of Chris's parents are largely responsible for his current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Senior Prom|senior prom]].

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned permanently, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she is probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it was possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch a Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''was not'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused is not that he is an absent-minded, slothful buffoon, but that he is a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she did not raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

===Intimate behavior===
{{See also|Affair with Mother}}

{{quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.|[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|One result of Barb's parenting choices, as explained by Chris in August 2016.]]
}}

To cap off their relationship, Chris revealed in private conversations with multiple people that Barb has spooned with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

From [[Arthur Spatchcock]], on Chris sharing a bed with his mother:

{{quoteboxred|Story time, kids. Now most of us are aware of the fire; how Barb and Chris were displaced for some time while the house was getting renovated. You know how Chris was all whiny about his legos, right? Some getting melted, shit like that...well he kind of left out that his own bed was ruined as well given it had years of grease soaked into it because not bathing is so chic in his eyes. So when they got back home Chris didn't have his own bed anymore so he was sharing one with Barb instead. This came with the horrifying addendum that Barb wanted to spoon with him; I don't know if he was little spoon or big spoon but I know she was unimpressed and one night just unloaded on him angrily enough that Chris decided to get his own bed with his own money. So it goes without saying that from the time Chris and Barb got back home [[DStecks|until he got that grand]] he was sleeping in the same bed as his mother.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20190423212237/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-4-11-e-begging-intensifies.19356/page-5</ref>}}

In August 2016, the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] observed Chris and Barb in public during a court hearing:<ref>[[26 December 2014]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Barb and Chris are way too physically intimate. It's one thing to describe their creepy relationship, it's quite another to watch it IRL. They hold hands and Chris is always putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulders sensually. That's shit I'd do to someone I'd want to bang. Not a family member. It's weird.}}

{{quote|I am not a "Bates". OMG.|Chris, in denial<ref>[[Misc texts]]</ref>}}

Barb's habit of cuddling with Chris had been going on since Bob was alive, and he knew of it, but, due to Barb's manipulation, he was not able to stop her.<ref>http://archive.is/zwWV9</ref> In [[August 2016]], Chris [[Honest content|admitted]] to having [[Chris and sex#Dreams of sex with Barb|incestuous fantasies about Barb]], prompting further analysis of their uncomfortably intimate relationship. Chris sometimes refers to her as [[Darling|"dear" or "darling"]], as he usually does for [[DoopieDoOver|would-be sweethearts]]. In his [[Twitch#CLog 04172018 - Buy My Toys|April 2018 Twitch stream]], when Chris got his mother to reluctantly say "[[Random-access humor|turn me loose, you silly goose]]" after hugging him, he commented that she "used to do that more [[Chris and English|flirtingly]]".

In [[June 2021]], not long before his [[Affair With Mother|incestuous relationship]] with his mom allegedly began, Chris, completely unprompted, claimed in a [[Facebook]] post that he and Barb had never slept in the same bed:<ref>[[June 2021 social media posts#CPU stuff and Barb]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Also, during the time my mom and I slept in my bedroom, we slept in Separate Furniture; she slept on the couch, and I slept in the bed. She and I Never ever had slept in the same bed together during those short months between ‘11 and ‘12.

Never in the same bed. ⚡️💙⚡️}}

Throughout 2021, Chris was feeling several instances of sexual frustration, hitting on [[MKRNightVee|several]] [[Annie Ikenberry|women]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|of]] [[The Suitress|interest]]. It has gotten to the point where Chris would release all of this sexual tension on Barbara in mid June, where he would continuously have sexual intercourse with her every three days. The context in which this has all happened is hazy at best, as information on the affair primarily came from an [[Incest Call|infamous call]] where he describes incestuous acts, and a few leaked chats Chris had with people. Throughout his affair with Barbara, Chris would hint at having such an affair online, calling Barbara a "sweetheart over 50". Sometime after [[the Suitress]] had leaked a chunk of the call on a Discord Server, which would soon after be posted onto various websites by her friends, several concerned observers wold contact authorities about the affair, leading to his arrest.

==Health problems==
{{protip|Despite being heavily speculated on and assumed by Christorians, it is not actually known if Barb has dementia or some other degenerative brain disease. It is speculated that she might even be deliberately faking senility in videos in order to garner sympathy in begging videos, as she has been seen and heard acting lucid when she was not aware that she was being recorded for the internet. With that in mind, Chris has indicated that she is struggling mentally.}}

===Mental===
Barb is understood by most to be a highly unstable woman, and worryingly, many of her behaviors can also be observed in Chris. Many believe her to be selfish and extremely narcissistic, on account of her baseless belief that she is [[Daniel Weston|descended from]] [[Anne Boleyn|Tudor high nobility]], and the pathological manner in which she lies and assigns blame to others, even in instances where the fault clearly lies with her. All of these traits are shared by Chris, with Barb's apparent encouragement. Additionally, many aspects of her relationship with Chris are consistent with [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112020245/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ narcissistic motherhood], which is a fascinating, but complex, a topic too lengthy to be discussed in detail here. Although Chris seems to be her [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112024302/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/golden-child-and-scapegoat/ "golden child"], she does not shy from mistreating him if he displeases her. This can be seen in an email to [[Jackie]] from May 2011; Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and [[Death threats|threatening to kill him]].<ref name="jackie26"></ref>

Aside from her narcissism, Barb is also infamous to Christorians for her hoarding. During Chris's youth, she would create piles of clothes as tall as her son.<ref name=younger></ref> Chris has labelled her a "pack rat",<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> and on more than one occasion has indicated his displeasure at her hoarding and the consequent state of [[14 Branchland Court|their house]], although neither he nor Bob are known to have ever seriously challenged it. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, particularly from Goodwill, which, by [[2009]], had rendered the living room uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, ostensibly due to the conditions in the Chandler household.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> The situation did not improve after Bob's passing, either. A [[Tour of Chris's House II|second house tour video]] made by Chris in [[2013]] revealed that Barb's hoarding had gotten severe enough to render entire rooms completely inaccessible, with some rooms literally full of stuff to within inches of the ceiling, and others reduced to crevices carved into walls of junk.

Barb's hoarding was predicted by many to lead to disaster, and finally did on [[2014 house fire|10 January 2014]], when Chris accidentally started a house fire in the morning while trying to brew coffee in the bathroom, because the kitchen had been among the rooms blocked off by Barb's junk. Naturally, Barb's hoard provided ample kindling for the fire, and the house was severely damaged before the fire could be contained. In fact, given the state of the house in the second tour video, it's surprising that Chris and Barb were able to escape. Unsurprising, however, is the fact that one of the Chandlers' remaining cats died in the blaze, and one of the firefighters sent to the scene also suffered unspecified injuries.

While the Chandlers [[Rental House|relocated]], pending repairs to their home, Barb's stuff went into storage. When repairs were completed a year later, Barb had all of it moved back to 14 Branchland Court, and is not known to have disposed of any of it, even though, by all accounts, most of what she and Chris were able to salvage is either fire, smoke or water damaged, rendering it completely useless. This was confirmed in April 2017, when Chris mentioned the laundry room contained a "mountain pile" of 20-40 bags of dirty, damaged clothing that had not been washed since the fire occurred.<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Offering The Classic shirt for $12,000 minimum]]</ref>

Barb has also been long speculated to suffer from a form of dementia due to later video appearances (mostly begging videos) showing her as struggling with forming sentences without a degree of prompting by Chris. Some initially speculated that Chris and Barb were taking advantage of her feeble, elderly state for the purpose of emotionally manipulating their audience into giving them more donations out of pity, as there were other videos where Barb appeared to be more cognizant and seemed to be able to handle her own finances to some degree. It was suggested by some with close knowledge of Chris, such as [[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Marvin]], that ''she'' was the one who encouraged him to make the videos with her in it.

However, in light of the [[Chris and sex#Incest|incest]] situation, in which Chris noted that she seemed "partially confused" on at least one of the occasions that he jumped her bones, how much of her situation was an act (presuming if any of it was) and how much is real has been called into question. Barb was evaluated at a hospital after being separated from her son and was able to return to her home after he was incarcerated, though it should still be noted that the bar for being deemed qualified enough to take care of oneself is low. [[Fan visits#Barb Visit|A later visit by Chris's fans]], where Barb did not know that she was being recorded, may have demonstrated that she has a degree of difficulty with cognitive function, or at least that she suffers from hearing loss. This would also somewhat explain the reason behind the [[November 2021]] traffic collision that she was involved in, where she failed to yield the right-of-way and got T-Boned by a tractor-trailer on the driver's side.<ref>[[:File:2002DodgeCaravanCrashRecord2.jpg]]</ref> Since then, she's presumably had to rely on senior caregivers and extended family to live off of since [[Chris|her youngest]] is too preoccupied with [[Jail Saga|other matters]] to take care of her.<ref>[[Jail_Letter_-_27_November_2021#cite_note-2]]</ref> In [[June 2022]], a letter from Chris confirmed that Barb is suffering from "falling mentality", although it's not clear what that entails.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 27 June 2022]]</ref>

===Weight===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

Like Chris, Barbara was [[obesity|obese]] at the time of his discovery by the internet. As late as the 1990s, Barbara was reasonably slim, but she, along with Chris, ballooned out as the 2000s rolled along, to the point of resembling an American serial killer {{w|Rose West}}. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[Chris and stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

However, according to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

This has continued into her old age. When she attended Chris's [[26 December 2014|court hearings]] throughout [[2015]], Christorians in attendance invariably noted that although she has lost weight, she appears to have low muscle mass; probably due to her sedentary lifestyle. In particular, at [[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing|his last hearing]], it was noted that Barb appeared to be growing increasingly frail and possibly senile, as she did not present as very responsive, and appeared much more submissive to Chris than she has otherwise been known to be. Chris also reportedly got short with her due to her poor hearing.

In 2018, Chris decided to cash in on the Snorlax joke, claiming that his mother found it funny. He listed a plush Snorlax for sale on [[eBay]], at $200.

{{quote|Hey, Everyone! Those in the meme-know: the times when my mother used to be large and lazy, everyone called her a Snorlax. Well, Barbara likes the joke too, and can laugh it off as she is doing a lot better these days. So, one time only, she signed a Snorlax Plush, and YOU can own it; a 20% More Awesome Collectible. A personal Certificate or Letter of Authenticity will be included. Thank you.}}

<center>
<gallery>
Cashinginsnorlax.png
Snorlax1.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==="Holey buttocks"===
In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks". It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it hardly sounds pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the [[Financhu_Crisis|low finances]] and shit!!!". The consensus was that the so-called "holey buttocks" were, in fact, lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites, rather than flies, that have burrowed into her prodigious posterior. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive by parasites other than Chris, her child whines about having to take care of her.

===Dental===
In August 2014, Chris begged for money on [[Facebook]], supposedly to pay [[List of toys|dental fees]], as he claimed his mother had cavities in her teeth that needed treatment. In July 2016, Barb herself begged for money.<ref>[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]</ref> Chris and Barb restarted begging for [[Lego|dental]] money in early 2018.

===Hearing loss===
During Chris's 2014 court hearing for [[pepper spray]]ing a [[GameStop]] employee, [[Marvin]] was in attendance and observed Chris imply that Barb had hearing loss.<ref>[[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing]]</ref>

{{quote|After a bit, the PD went up to the judge and they called Chris up. Chris starts getting impatient with Barb. He said something like "are your ears clogged up??" and then "wanna follow me so you can hear what's going on?" Then she got up and trundled up there to accompany Chris.|Marvin}}

On 20 September 2021, Reddit user e1ectricthunder visited [[14 Branchland Court]] and had a brief conversation with Barb, during which Barb had difficulty understanding what was being said.<ref>[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref>

===Memory loss===
In the [[July 2021]] [[Incest Texts]], Chris claimed that Barb has memory problems (and that his incestuous acts were helping to heal her).

{{quote|She has had memory problems at time beforehand, yes, but she is being better stimulated in her mind and soul, and it Really Shows! Her mental processing speed is even going back up.|Chris}}

===Aging===
{{quote|They treat, they treat you very badly in there. She, she would, she, she, she would never want me to put her into a home, and I would not do that.|Chris, August 2014<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

[[File:Barb reacts to Quinn.jpg|thumb|200px|Barb, aged 76, tissue in hand, comforting Chris after [[Jessica Quinn]] broke up with him.]]

In November 2015, [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]] was uploaded to YouTube. The video is a plea for [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "her time runs out", even though the latter two are not Barb's progeny.

On 13 July 2016, Barb unexpectedly starred in [[Donations Further Requested, Please|one of Chris's e-begging videos]]. In the minute-long video, she speaks slowly and almost inaudibly, hardly moving or blinking for the entirety of the video. While some have voiced concerns that this may be an early sign of dementia, it is just as likely that Barb, being a manipulative narcissist, was putting on an act for money. She has since re-appeared in numerous other e-begging videos from Chris, including multiple in [[August 2018]]; her appearance is frail and quite frazzled, and her sentences are often punctuated with tons of "ums" and "uhs", along with extended pauses.

[[File:Barbovertime.gif|left]]
[[File:Our signatures00001.png |thumb|right|Barb and Chris in March 2018, the former wearing the [[$400 gold necklace]].]]
In August 2016, [[Anna McLerran]] posted a photo on Facebook of herself and Barb together.<ref>[[:File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.]]</ref> In it, Barb appears to have aged significantly since her last appearance in the "Donations Further Requested, Please" video.

In November 2016, Barb escaped injury when she slipped and fell.<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Barb slips and falls]]</ref>

Chris has been increasingly tasked with helping Barb around the house in her elderly age. He stated in April 2017 that he was taking caregiving classes.<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]]</ref> Barb is seen in [[Minor Update, Handouts!]], a begging video, in which Chris demands money because Barb drinks costly "meal replacement shakes", possibly referring to a drink such as Ensure.
{{clear}}

===Other===
In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with {{w|colitis}}, a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201009073942/https://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied the rumor.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

On 23 August 2013, Chris claimed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was, or what kind of treatment Barb received.

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]] and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Financial problems==
[[File:Barb's blankets ebay listings photos 01.jpg |Barb advertising blankets for sale in summer 2018.|thumb|250px]]

Barb lives off social security ({{w|Retirement Insurance Benefits}}) and a small pension from her old job; about $14,000 a year.<ref name=charbincome>[[CWCki Forums posts (Cousin Al)#Chris and Barbara's Income]]</ref>

In 2016, Barb was sued by a Discover bank in Norfolk for not paying [[debt]]s. This came to light on [[March 2016|March 14]], [[2016]], when sharp-eyed [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwis]] noticed that she had a hearing on March 16. Since grave neglect of her debt was likely the cause of her being taken to court, it was widely assumed that she would ignore the summons too. Instead, once the court records were updated, many were surprised to see that not only had Barb attended, but she had represented herself, too. Equally unsurprisingly, this bold move failed to pay off, and Barb was still sentenced to pay $4,706.93.<ref>[[:File:Barb discover bank result.png]]</ref>

Five months later, Barb was sued again, this time by Capital One, for the same reason. The hearing in September resulted in a Default Judgement against Barb, meaning that she did not bother attending. She owes Capital One $15,906.99.<ref>[[:File:Barb vs Capital One Bank result.png]]</ref>

Her out-of-control debt was the catalyst for the [[Financhu Crisis]] of 2016.

In June through July of that year, Barb appeared in three videos:

*[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]
*[[Donations Requested, Please]]
*[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]

In the videos, she and Chris beg for donations, claiming to need money for her asthma medication and dental work (although they receive a combined amount of $2,500 per month from the government<ref name=charbincome></ref> and their costly hoards are clearly visible behind them). See the Appearances section for more appearances by Barb.

She has failed to take accountability for ruining the family's finances, trying to pin the blame on Chris,<ref>[[Patreon announcement]]</ref> even though her known debt of over $20,000 is much larger than Chris's.

She and Chris had an inheritance from Bob worth "tens of thousands of dollars" when he passed away, but Barb decided to frivolously spend it on [[Rob Bell]] in an attempt to gain exoneration for her [[assault and battery]] charge.

In summer 2018, she joined forces with Chris in selling stuff on [[eBay]], including items from her hoard and her autographs, which some fans bought.

==Appearances==

===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|200px|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

In the 2015 revisions to [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris wrote out Bianca's character and replaced her with his mother.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [https://web.archive.org/web/20130831123750/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go to that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

[[File:Chandlers & Sonichus.jpg|200px|thumb|left]]

In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Barb is photoshopped into a "family photo" alongside Chris, Bob and the various Chus.

[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|In ''Sonichu'' #12.]]

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], Barb is in a set of pages that is a cross between Chris writing an autobiographical account of himself coming out as a tomgirl to his parents and a tribute to his late father.

Due to Chris's Oedipal complex, Barb is depicted as much more youthful than Bob, even though she was nearly 70 at the time. She is also drawn as being freakishly tall compared to Chris and Bob, despite being shorter than both in real life, though this may just be Chris's inability to keep his characters properly proportioned at work. Barb expresses surprise at her son's announcement on being trans. Chris states that she was "hesitant for a long while", but "got used to my subtle and more changes".

This is a drastic understatement, as the real-life Barb tried to stop his [[tomgirl]] lifestyle in ways including suicide threats, guilt trips (by claiming that she was worried Chris would kill her), paying him to stop cross-dressing, and even ordering him to submit to a haircut. If her attitude towards him cooled, it was only out of resignation rather than acceptance. Evidence of this is when she became angry with him again after finding out that he had successfully changed his name in 2016.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (MasterDisaster)#Name Change Drama]]</ref>

[[File:Chandler family as ponies.png|200px|thumb|left|Barb, pictured at left, as ''Sugar Darling'', in a [[My Little Pony|MLP]]-inspired drawing from [[August 2017]].]]

In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as [[My Little Pony]] characters, saying they will make further appearances in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]].

{{clear}}

===As toys===
<center><gallery>
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form.
File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|Barb [[Amiibo]], complete with cleavage, which Chris offered for sale on [[Etsy]] in [[November 2015]].
File:Barb drawing Nov. '15.jpg|Promo drawing for the Amiibo.
File:BarbaraCard.jpg|As a [[TSSSF]] card. Note that Chris calls her a "redneck tomboy" and her power is to steal a shipping partner.
</gallery></center>

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming [[Chris's room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now".
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in several videos: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two decade-old videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas. Another video of her was recorded by a [[troll]] as she and Chris left court after his hearing in February 2015.

She has most frequently appeared during the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help|Two more]] [[Donations Requested, Please|videos]] were released June 2016 showing Chris begging for donations to buy asthma pills for Barbara. Barbara is shown practically dead in both of these videos so [[Chris and Death|god only knows what will happen in the near future.]]

In a [[Donations Further Requested, Please|video]] released on 13 July 2016, Barbara joins her son in shamelessly e-begging. Her voice tired and hoarse, mouth agape, she stares directly into the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

She resumed begging in a [[EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE|video]] from April 2017, in which she wears a [[$400 gold necklace]] while asking Chris's audience to give him $1,000 in exchange for his old [[Stamps|stamp album]].

She next appeared in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]], when she walked in while Chris was recording.

After more uploads from Chris, Barb starred in another begging video uploaded on 24 May 2017, titled [[We Said Donations No Less than $1 00, US, Please]]. Chris removed the video the next day after people threatened to report him for elder abuse.

After the last failed attempt of getting donations, Barb and Chris engaged in yet another begging video on 16 June 2017, titled [[We need immediate funds, please]]. Ironically, she wore both the [[$400 gold necklace]] and a pearl necklace.

Almost a month had passed, without any appearances from Barb. With Chris getting decent amounts of funds from his [[Patreon]] account, there no longer seemed to be a desire to beg. On 14 July 2017, she makes a small voice-only cameo in a [[Soda Awawawawa Puccho Candy Response]], screaming at him for not closing the front door. She also comments in [[Solar Eclipse Vlogs]], asking Chris if he's ready to go back inside after the eclipse ends.

Barb's first appearance on-video in 2018 was in [[Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)]]. She appeared a couple of weeks later in [[Our signatures]] to demonstrate that her signature, a key selling point in the comic sales, was real. On 9 April, Barb appeared for the seventh time during the Financhu Crisis to beg in [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.]]

On 16 April, a [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests|bizarre video of a few seconds of Barb standing in a doorway]] was posted to the [[CWCki Club]]. On the 17th, she appeared as a guest on Chris's [[Twitch]] stream.

On 8 May, Barb appeared in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Two days later, Barb appeared in [[May 2018 Paid Video Requests|paid videos giving shout-outs to school shooters Nicholas Cruz and Adam Lanza]].

She watched Chris spray-paint his shoes (and his bedroom carpet) in [[Shoe Colouring]], sitting in the same room with poor ventilation.

In summer 2018, she appears in multiple videos to promote her partnership with Chris's eBay business: [[My Mother WORKED Hard, Spent Hard; Needs Money NOW.]], [[Barbara Chandler will be making out autographed photos and posters.]] and [[Barbara’s Blankets]]. She then begged for her car payment money in [[Mother needs a car payment]].

[[Barb confirms she isn't dead]] was her next appearance, a rare non-begging video.

Chris (possessed by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]) got Barb to appear on camera in [[Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]] (12 June 2020).

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Barbarafamilycensus1950.png|Barb and her family, 1950 census.
Image:Babs1956.PNG|Barb's 8th grade (or "Pre-Freshman") photo.
Image:Babs1957.PNG|Barb's freshman photo from high school.
File:Babs1958.png|Barb's sophomore photo from high school.
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great-great-grandparents.
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when ''[[The Simpsons]]'' went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pal]]s, at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
Image:Barb 2016.JPG|During 2016.
File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.
File:Chandlers.Png|Barb and Chris. Barb is interrupting Chris during a live [[YouTube]] stream.
File:Certificate of Authenticity with Barb's signature.jpg|Barb's signature on a Certificate of Authenticity, included with [[2018 Sales Listings|the purchase of one of Cole's comics]].
Barb autograph photo listing.jpg|Barb with an autographed photo of herself.
File:Chris's 37th birthday 2.jpg|Barb during Chris's 37th birthday.
File:BarbPhoto20Aug.jpg|[[August 2019]].
File:Barb 11-19-2019.jpg|Barb in [[November 2019]].
File:Barbjune2020.jpg|Barb during [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|a livestream]] in [[June 2020]]
File:Barb-Instagram-4.jpg|"And Barbara Anne Weston Chandler [[Chris and reality|still looks good for her wise age]]. [[May 2021|#happymothersday2021]]"
File:July11BarbPhoto1.jpg|Barb in [[July 2021]], showing off her new haircut [[July_2021_social_media_posts#Barbie_Chan|done by none other than Chris]]. [[Affair with Mother|Look at the fear in her eyes.]]
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[Affair with Mother]]
*[[Bob Chandler]]

{{References}}

{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{IncestSaga}}
{{Love quest}}
{{People}}
{{articleofthenow}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:People Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]

Mia Hamm

2022-12-12T14:13:16Z

RoseSparrow: /* Chris's account of their meeting */

{{Honest}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|And those- Those memories build towards the true love. And honest- in the honest emotions that have to occur during that relationship. Because without the emo- because without the true love and honest emotions, it's just about as meaningless as sex with a prostitute.|Chris, back in [[2009]]}}

{{quote|I came within seven minutes both of those times.|Chris on sex with Mia<ref name=discussions>[[Masturbation discussions]]</ref>}}

{{quote|My body, however, felt like it was being used and not fully appreciated. It even took a massive hit when I considered that time in ‘12 when I had sex with that woman, Just to lose my virginity and get it over with.|Also Chris on sex with Mia.<ref name=discussions></ref>}}

[[File:Mia 002.jpg|thumb|Mia Hamm after reading this article.]]

'''Mia Hamm''' (born approx. [[1980s|1987-1988]] or [[1990s|1991-1992]]) is the pseudonym of the woman [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] finally completed his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]] with, relieving him of his status as a [[virgin with rage]]. Named after the {{w|Mia Hamm|former soccer player of the same name}}, she is a [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free hooker]] who advertised herself on Backpage.com - a site seized by the [[jerkops|feds]] in [[2018]] for sex trafficking ties.<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20120523054531/http://charlottesville.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/ Confirmation of Backpage]</ref> Chris paid for an hour with her in [[April 2012]], which cost him [[Chris and money|$150]] of his [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]], and later had sex with her again [[May 2012|the following month]].

He chose to have intercourse with her despite [[Chris and hypocrisy|his previous statements that he would not hire a prostitute because it would render the act of sex meaningless]]. His decision was motivated by a fear of going to jail for [[28 October 2011|an incident]] that took place in [[October 2011]], although [[Chris and the Law|prostitution is also illegal in Virginia]].

Details about Mia were revealed publicly in a [[Open_Relationship_E-mails#The_Hooker_Story|text document]] Chris sent Renee. The document was originally an email given to an unidentified individual who provided Chris with Mia's Backpage ad. While Chris is no longer a [[Virgin with rage|virgin, he still has rage]], albeit not to the same extent, and it doesn't seem like getting laid solved Chris's deep-seated problems like he expected it to.

==Description==
[[Image:ChrisFirstTimeEnd.jpg|thumb|left|What probably happened.]]

{{quote|I need some sex. I am no different from everyone else on that topic. I get horny. I think about it OFTEN. [[Sonichu 8|I'm dreaming of inserting my rod 'A' into female slot 'V']]; [[Crystal Weston Chandler|followed by some]] [[Reginald Chandler|lost genetics]]. [[Virgin with rage|Being an Adult Virgin SUCKS!]] [[F Abstinance|Abstinance is a Joke.]] I am lonely. I am tired of being ignored and overlooked inbpublic by women. I Need Some Sex.|Chris on [[March 2012 Facebook Posts#Need Some Sex|Facebook]], shortly before the sexual encounter was arranged.}}

Chris describes Mia as a black-haired, blue-eyed woman of 24, although her ad claimed she was 20. She has an "average" figure with C-cup breasts. Her personality is described as "nice, likeable, and down to earth." She has [[un-clit|piercings]] on her lip, tongue, and nipples. She is half-[[Cherokee]] as well, which Chris enjoyed. Mia has two [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughters]] to a man who abandoned her. Given her young age and the fact that Chris states that she had them "years ago," this could possibly mean that Mia was a teenage mother. The girls stay with their grandmother. Mia travels from town-to-town and is attempting to get an education to give herself and her daughters a better future, and told Chris that her escort service is just "a quick spot of cash for her." While working in Charlottesville, she serviced her clients at a [http://www.daysinn.com/hotels/virginia/charlottesville/days-inn-charlottesville-university-area/hotel-overview?hotel_id=10134&cid=whg_di_gglsem_br&wid=ps:br_whg&tel=18006821082&002=2188742&004=2113581259&005=15394730470&006=36511643659&007=Search&008=&025=c&026= Days Inn] hotel.

Mia appears to have since quit the escort business, as she took her ad down by May 27,<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20120527155707/http://charlottesville.backpage.com/online/classifieds/AdNotFound?category=4443</ref> five days after her last known posting and no subsequent ads by her can be found. The title of her last ad read "Just arrived MIA Hamm¡¡¡¡§pec@ils all day & night – 20," and it included a picture. However, the ad itself is unfortunately irretrievable, so its contents are unknown.

As for Chris, aside from a brief raising of his spirits ([[Duck|among other things]]) and getting a little [[Chris and his ego|ego boost]] from having "done it", the sexual encounters that he had with Mia did little to lift him out of his state of depression at the time. In the years since the time he got laid, Chris has been largely uninterested in hiring further prostitutes and has gone back and forth between wanting an actual romantic companion and being satisfied with either [[Polyamorous marriage|enjoying his self-proclaimed marriage to fictional characters]] and/or [[Affair with Mother|screwing his mother]].

==Chris's account of their meeting==
[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris bragging about how he paid for sex.]]

{{quote|Oh, I forgot to mention, she Really Enjoyed my [[Duck|dick]]; it was soo big and good, that it put the last dude she was with to shame; Her Words.|Chris on [[Facebook]], unaware that hookers typically tell clients things they want to hear}}

After recieving Backpage ads of escorts from his unknown contact, Chris drove to the Days Inn located between [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Route_29_in_Virginia Route 29] and [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Route_250_in_Virginia Route 250] to have sex with one of them. Mia was not Chris' original choice and was actually the third escort he contacted. "Riley," the one he intended to have sex with, never responded his calls, and "Kristen," his next choice, was unavailable. Chris then decided to call Mia, who was able to see him and told Chris she could be found in room 338.

Upon entering her room at 4:30 PM, Chris could tell that Mia had been smoking [[Tobacky|weed]], and that made him uncomfortable. He calmed down, however, after smelling [[Chris and health#Hygiene|hand sanitizer]]. They [[Nudes|stripped]] for each other, and "communicated good throughout." At Mia's insistence, Chris wore a green-apple-flavored [[Chris_and_sex#Contraceptives|condom]]. She applied it to him with her mouth, and then began to give him a blowjob. Chris enjoyed it, and states that her tongue piercing added to the pleasure of the experience. Afterward, she laid beside Chris on the bed and they began feeling each other up. Chris described her [[china]] as feeling "really good," and he found her clitoris though Mia did not allow him to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger her]]. They began making out (but no tongue), and then Chris gave her a massage that he also gives [[Barb]], which he claims she enjoyed. Then, Chris informed her that he was ready for [[hanky-panky]]. He "requested Cowgirl, with possible missionary later," though this did not happen.

{{quote|Her pelvic thrusts were amazing; her pussy was tight, even after pushing two daughters out of there years ago. And I supported her thrusts with my hands on her knees, weaving back and forth. I also gave her [[Plush Breasts|breasts]] a good thrusting. I felt her front pelvic bone, which really made the top of the game. She came and I came, but on my coming, it was only half-felt. And the [[semen]] that was mostly outside, but a smidge on the outside of the condom, confirmed it.|Chris describing his first time}}

Afterward, Chris washed his [[duck]] with a [[Mass debating|washcloth]] he had brought with him. They spent the rest of their time conversing, and Chris gave Mia a gift basket containing "three apples, lavender air-freshener, breath mints, a 4-gig flash drive with the track sets of the [[WTJU Marathon|1990 WTJU jazz marathon]], Teenage Dream and Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) album tracks, and a Hello Kitty Pez Dispenser."<ref>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3]]</ref> Mia told him a bit about her background, and Chris talked to her about the [[trolls]]. He also talked to her about ''[[Family Guy]]'' and ''[[South Park]]'' before her clock chimed, indicating that her next appointment was arriving. Chris promised that he would call her later, which he did at around 6:30. Mia had already finished with her next client, and told Chris that he was a disappointment to her. She said that the man's penis was smaller than Chris's and that it was a "wiener in a hallway" situation. Very soon after, Chris posted on [[Facebook]] that he was no longer a virgin. He taunted trolls with the fact that the only people who would ever know the full story would be himself, Mia (whose alias he did not mention), the person who put him in contact with her, and his future [[sweetheart]]. Apparently, [[Chris and reality|Chris sees no problem with telling a potential girlfriend that he had his first sexual encounter with a prostitute,]] [[Women's rights|and expects them to be completely okay with this]]. Chris saw her again the following month, though the details of their second encounter are unknown. Mia appears to have left the escort business very soon after her second meeting with Chris, meaning that he would have been one of her last clients.

===Fantasy vs. Reality===
Given [[List of Chris's lies|what we know]] [[Chris and reality|about Chris]], there is a strong possibility that this is not the [[TRUE and HONEST]] version of what happened. Chris paints himself as being unrealistically competent at sex for a virgin whose only prior knowledge of it comes from [[pornography]]. Additionally, Chris describes the incident as going off without a hitch, which is highly unlikely for a number of reasons, the most obvious of which is his horrifically bent [[duck]]. It is highly likely that Chris is omitting [[Obesity|unflattering details]] or making up flattering ones to make himself look better. Chris's notion that Mia enjoyed the experience probably stems from the fact that prostitutes often pay their clients compliments, because it helps them make money to do so. Chris would probably be [[naïve]] enough to believe that she was being sincere, or he could just be telling himself that she was in order to serve his already massive [[Chris and his ego|ego]].

Indeed, in response to speculation about the event on the Chris discussion board [[CWCki Forums]], Chris' former troll [[Alec Benson Leary]] wrote:

{{quote|Yeah... jesus people, let me ask (those of you who aren't virgins) a question: What was the least interesting time you had sex like? Chris's hookertime was a tenth as interesting as that. He lay down, the hooker got on top and rode him for a little bit, then Chris decided his life was better than it was a day previously. The end.|[[Alec Benson Leary]] on the [[CWCki Forums]], 30 July 2014.<ref>[[CWCki Forums posts (Alec)#Mia Hamm]]</ref>}}

==See also==
* [[Hooker incident]] - Chris's first (and decidedly less pleasant) experience with hookers
* [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|Prostitution]]
* [[Kimmi]], [[Officer Nasty]], and [[Chris humps his PS3|his PS3]] - Chris's previous sex partners
* [[For Julie's Eyes Only]] - Chris's sex tape
* [[Carlos Chantor]] - Chris as the prostitute (male)
* [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|Stephanie Bustcakes]] - Chris as the prostitute (female)

{{References}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hamm, Mia}}
[[Category:People Chris has had Sex with]]

Virgin with rage

2022-12-12T14:02:10Z

RoseSparrow: /* A virgin no more (but with rage all the same) */

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|Tell me why I'm stuck as a virgin with rage Tell me why I so need a cute girl my age|[[So Need a Cute Girl]]}}

[[Image:106-FrustratedVirgin.jpg|thumb|[[Autism|WHY?!]]]]

'''Virgin with rage''' was [[Chris]]'s description of himself whilst he was still a virgin. Chris claimed that when he was a virgin, his condition engendered [[stress|frustration]] and, well, [[rage]].

Chris was very self-conscious about being a virgin, and frequently brought up the subject unprompted, [[Honest Content|even in casual conversation]] with people he had only just met. However, after being advised by his parents that it wasn't a good idea to mention that he was a VIRGIN WITH RAGE, he stopped this practice,<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref> one of [[Un-clit|the few times he has learned from his mistakes]].

In [[April 2012]], Chris finally lost his virginity to a prostitute known as [[Mia Hamm]]. It changed nothing about Chris's life whatsoever.

== Hormonal rage ==
Chris was extremely distressed about the possibility of being destined to be a virgin forever.

{{quote|Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.|Chris on [[Megan]], [[Story of My Current Days]].}}

Despite his claims that he was "holding back", the emails with [[Megan]] paint a different picture, describing instances of him doing exactly what he says he wouldn't, by giving her random and unwanted touches.<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&A#Chris_and_Megan]]</ref>

In another instance, Chris attempted to kiss [[Emily]] by surprise, during an unusually generous hug, but she was able to avoid it, and left unscarred.<ref>[[Emily#Kiss_fail]]</ref>

Also, during the [[Father Call]], [[Kacey]]'s father Matthew Devoria accused him of feeling Kacey in a "touchy-feely" manner, including touching her shoulder and sniffing her. Chris mentions this was because he was "nervous" at the time and because he wanted to see which one of her perfumes was better.

Likewise, [[Facebook]] correspondence between Chris and a young man named Joshua Alba revealed this pearl:
{{quote|I've thought of a funny message for a Valentine's Day card. On the outside, "Please Be Mine," and on the inside, "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in."

I am not a sex freak; I'm just lonesome and sometimes horny.|Chris, [[Facebook messages]], 10 January 2010.<ref>[[Facebook_messages#Other]]</ref>}}

==References by Chris==
*"[[So Need a Cute Girl]]", a song which Chris recorded in August [[2003]], features the first known use of the term "virgin with rage."
*Chris's letter to ''Nintendo Power'' about ''[[Sprung]]'' from the spring of 2004 concludes, "So thank you, [[Nintendo]] and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed."
*The first issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' from [[2004]] featured Chris's poem "[[Saddest Heart in the World]]", where he whines repeatedly about his virginity and repeats some of the lyrics from "So Need a Cute Girl."
*According to an entry in [[CWC's Diary#2004|CWC's Diary]] from September [[2004]], Chris told his "Lonesome Virgin story" to a [[jerkop]] who interrupted his loitering at the mall.
*After he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris sent an angry e-mail to Sony, where he announced "YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN [[South Park|BALLZ-BROKEN]] LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[sigh]]*"
*Likewise, his [[PSN blogs#4_August_2007_.E2.80.94_Adam_Stackhouse.21.21.21|PSN Blog]] update from after losing the contest includes the line "I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN."
*In Chris's first video address of the post-[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] era, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]], he doesn't actually come out and bluntly announce that he's a virgin. [[CWC's Second Message]], however, hammers the point home. There, Chris calls himself "the innocent, still 26-year-old virgin."
*During his IRC fan chat from [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|26 October 2008]], Chris billed his fictitious new girlfriend [[Chloe]] as his "VIRGIN-TAKER."
*Chris's New Year's resolution for [[2009]], announced on [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC]]: "Lose my Virginity with a Woman." Like most people's New Year's resolutions, he failed to follow through.
*While molesting his blow-up doll in the [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]] video from 17 [[April 2009]], Chris says, "Ivy, I promise you, I promise you my undying love and devotion, I promise you my heart, my soul, even my virginity..."
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia profile]] from [[May 2009]] includes multiple references to his virginity.
*In the [[CWC Trollin More]] video from 19 [[July 2009]], Chris announced that he was "still a virgin," retracting one of the more obvious lies in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.
*At the end of [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], from 9 [[August 2009]], Chris sums up his achievements in life (including his [[Julie|trip to Ohio]]) and says that "the—only thing—mark that's not been checked yet for a good life is the virgin-breaker."
*One of Chris's posts on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim forums]] was signed "Lonely Virgin in Virginia, searching for a Sweetheart-Soulmate."
*In the [[Common Questions#15 January 2010|Common Questions]] from 15 [[January 2010]], a correspondent asked Chris why he was so fixated on sex. He answered, "Oh, I don't know, how about being a Frustrated Virgin?!"
*Chris's [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|plea for sex]] to [[the Wallflower]], uploaded 14 [[March 2010]], features his standard whine about being "a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin."
*The 2009 [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|COMEBACK!]]'' album has a song on it titled "[[CWC Like a Virgin]]".

==A virgin no more (but with rage all the same)==
[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris bragging about how he paid for sex.]]

On 12 [[April 2012]], two leaked [[Facebook]] statuses depicted Chris as having finally lost his virginity. The posts contained several points highly suggesting Chris hired a prostitute:

* She compared him to the last guy she was with.
* She told him a [[Duck|blatant lie]] to make him feel good about himself.
* Perhaps the most telling of all, Chris said that his eventual 'Sweetheart-to-be' will find out about it, meaning that this was a [[Fuck Quest|one night stand]].

Roughly a month later, on 1 [[May 2012|May]], Chris wrote in a [https://www.facebook.com/notes/christian-weston-chandler/hey-trollies/283149358446217 Facebook note] that his virgin breaker could be found "somewhere on the backpage." Most assumed he was referring to Backpage.com, a website well-known for featuring sex service ads, which would end up shut down by federal law enforcement in 2018.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> This made it even more apparent that Chris resorted to paying for sex, [[Chris and hypocrisy|breaking a vow that he previously set for himself]].

In a [[July_25,_2014_Leaks#June_28-29|conversation]] that was leaked on 25 [[July 2014]], Chris confirmed what everyone already knew; he hired a prostitute to take his virginity. A few months later, a [[Open_Relationship_E-mails#The_Hooker_Story|leaked email]] detailed his experience with her and revealed she went by the alias of [[Mia Hamm]]. Given that Chris practically had to bribe someone for his first time, all at the age of thirty, this brings a less-than-[[Giant Penis Comic|ideal]] conclusion to the virginal chapter of his [[Love Quest]] (which, despite his bragging, was never an option he considered with any level of enthusiasm).

Incidentally, both prostitution and solicitation of prostitution are illegal in Virginia.<ref>[http://prostitution.procon.org/view.background-resource.php?resourceID=767]</ref> Therefore, Chris [[Chris and the Law|has committed yet another crime]].

==Aftermath==
Despite his hopes, losing his virginity did not appear to make Chris any happier. His [[Twitter]] and Facebook updates in the weeks, months, and years since showed him sliding deeper into depression. An April 2012 post on Twitter stated, "The virgin-breaker was a Great Milestone for me, and it made me feel more self-confident, but still, it was One thing. I still require my Sweetheart. :_( ...<3" In August 2013, Chris even mentioned that he was more stressed, and in [[August 2014]], the ''[[Sonic Boom]]'' [[Saga]] – which saw Chris incensed over a very small change to a video game franchise and would eventually lead to him [[26 December 2014|committing a felony]] – began.

After the [[Idea Guys]] planted their ideas into Chris's mind, however, Chris had found a (relatively) more fulfilling way to conclude his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]] – by getting into a [[polyamorous marriage]] with his [[imaginary friends]] [[Magi-Chan]], [[Cryzel Rosechu]], [[Sylvana]], and [[Mewtwo]]. For what it's worth, he ''seemed'' to be genuinely happier than he did when pursuing real-world [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|tom-tom for his duck to pound]], so there's that. Unfortunately, Chris was ultimately not satisfied with this, and eventually got around to [[Affair with Mother|having sex with his own mother]] to satisfy his urges – [[Jail Saga|to predictable results]] once people found out about who his boyfriend-free girl was.

{{References}}
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]