CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:Rtucker913

2023-09-15T22:54:59Z

Rtucker913:

{{protip|Maybe there ARE a few chapters left to go in the Christory book.}}

I am rtucker913. The TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Chunky Mustache Dad (Totally not Uncle Grandpa) and Dog-Thing (Totally not 1950s Snoopy). I mostly do minor stuff. Spelling, punctuation, concise language. I do not tend to add new information unless related to the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics.]] I also make redirect pages to make navigating the site a little bit easier.

I was the guy who released info on Chris's family back in [[January 2017]].

https://kiwifarms.net/members/everythingisawkward999.12539/

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CWCville

2023-09-09T05:25:42Z

Rtucker913: /* Governance */

[[File:Damntrolls.png|center|450px]]

{{quote|I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There [[Chris and English|is]] no elections.|[[Chris-chan Discusses...]], 2009}}

{{Quote|[Christine] has had emotions and more stress after being back in office, so she retired from being mayor, and gave the job back to Allison|Chris "retired" from being mayor of CWCville, 2017<ref>[[Sonichu 11]], pg. 46</ref>}}

'''CWCville''' (pronounced: [kwɪkvɪɫ], "quick-ville"), also stylized as '''Cwcville''', is an independent and self-governing city-state in northern [[Virginia]], [[United States]]. Despite its leader's claims to the contrary, the country is a totalitarian dictatorship - sporting a pervasive [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|personality cult]] around the leader, [[Sonichu 10#Trial of the Asperpedia Four|no independent judiciary]] nor any [[CWCville Mayoral Office|separation of powers]], [[Mailbag 31|mass surveillance]] of the populace as well as largely autonomous [[chaotic combo|paramilitary organizations]]. The [[CWCville#Economy|economy]] is almost exclusively geared towards serving the whims of the ruling elite, with many of the country's citizens living in homeless shelters. Due to widespread discontent, elements of a façade democracy have been at times [[CWCville#Elections|introduced and retracted again]]. The country has engaged in [[4-cent_garbage.com|state terrorism]] against neighboring countries in the past.

As the name suggests, CWCville is derived from Chris's own initials, and serves as much of an exercise in [[Chris and his ego|boosting his ego]] as you'd expect. While the setting was initially believed exist to justify [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his self-insert's presence]] in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', it was later learned that Chris's concept of a utopia had origins with a [[Lego]] city created in [[Chris's room|his own bedroom]], predating the webcomic. Additional lore provided over the years also indicated that Chris himself is not the founder of this city, but his father was, and he named it after his newborn son.

Chris believes that CWCville [[Chris and reality|actually exists]], and for many years used the city as a way to “[[Chris and coping|escape]]” from anything he [[Kick the Autistic|does not like]].<ref name="cwcville-reality">[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Recently, Chris has used [[Dimensional Merge|other]] [[Messiah complex|means]] [[Spirit possession|of]] coping, and CWCville became part of the parallel dimension of [[C-197]], which he also believes to actually exist. Curiously, Chris has occasionally referred to [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] as CWCville.

==Overview==
{{Quote|The city of CWCville, a vibrant community with happy people, [[boyfriend-free girl|cool chicks]] and a [[virgin with rage|frustrated male]]...|Narrator, [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]<ref>[[:File:Sonichu - Episode 9, Page 6.jpg]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|thumb|left|The toys that started it all.]]
[[Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|thumb|200px|Sonichu and Rosechu's welfare housing in relation to the rest of CWCville (note their postal code is the same as Chris's birthday and its address is nearly identical to his real address).]]
[[File:cwcville1.jpg|thumb|200px|A slightly more detailed (but no less disproportionate) drawing of CWCville.]]
[[File:CWCvilleflag.png|thumb|Flag of CWCville.]]

CWCville is the setting of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', a city in Northern [[Virginia]] of which [[Chris]] was Mayor-for-Life. CWCville is where Chris portrays friends and enemies from his real life in scenarios altered to reflect [[Chris and his Ego|his bias toward himself]]. As his ideal metropolitan community, CWCville illustrates Chris's poor understanding of how a city actually functions. Like everything else that appears in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]], Chris believed for many years that CWCville actually exists, claiming at one point to be Mayor of CWCville “IN REAL LIFE”.<ref>[[Chris and reality#Fantasy and fiction]]</ref><ref name="cwcville-reality"/> As an entity Chris believes to be real, CWCville is a coping mechanism used to compensate for his unsatisfying actual life.

It has been argued that the unconquerable quality of Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|ego]] is bolstered by his ability to retreat to CWCville, where he can right all wrongs done to him. In his comics, we see him defeating [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with whom he holds an IRL grudge, beating the [[Jerkops]], and bringing his dead dog [[Patti Chandler]] back to life in the form of the anthropomorphic [[Patti-Chan]]. The main reason Chris can do such superhuman acts is due to the fact that in CWCville his will is supreme. This serves as a safety blanket that protects his physically and mentally feeble self from the outside world, where he holds no such power.

Chris is greatly concerned with people who are misinformed about any detail of CWCville, or conclude that it is anything but "a clean, secure, orderly and safe city."<ref>[[Mailbag 35#Except when half of it gets destroyed by giant robots]]</ref> After being coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] the new Mayor of CWCville,<ref>[[March 2009]]</ref> Chris repeatedly attempted to redact the statement claiming "I am still the mayor of CWCville, there is [sic] no elections."<ref> Chris-chan discusses </ref> <ref>[[Mumble 11|Mumble #11]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]</ref><ref name=p32>[https://web.archive.org/web/20160329034421/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/Issue_9/Page_32 Issue 9/Page 32(Archive)]</ref> Chris seems to think that anyone who understands what CWCville is like will love it.

The seed of CWCville was planted early in Chris's life. An avid [[LEGO]] enthusiast, Chris eventually put all of his completed LEGO kits, original LEGO creations, and various handmade ''Sonichu'' items together on one table in his room. In [[February 2011]], Chris claimed to have finally disassembled the LEGO model, but he insisted that the city "still stands strong today within my own mind and hands."<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]</ref>

The first official CWCville media was made in [[2001]].<ref>[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]</ref> After toying with more phonetic spellings, Chris settled on "CWCville"<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]]</ref> in [[2003]]. This spelling features the initials of his full name and its pronunciation must be explained to others, indicative of CWCville's nature as a self-serving and insular fantasy.

Even in his ultimate self-serving fantasy in which he's given himself unchecked power for life, Chris's stunted imagination granted him only the title of mayor. Based on his maps, CWCkville consists of so few buildings that it would more accurately qualify as a village or hamlet, although this could be a consequence of his physical and mental limitations. He later created the land of [[RuleCWC]], a Sonichu [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripoff]] of Hyrule; a different character rules it instead of Chris's self-insert. All this suggests that at least in terms of his understanding of the world, Chris lags behind even an early [[Nathanael_Greene_Elementary_School|grade school]] age child.

In late-[[2017]] Chris ceased being merely the mayor of a town and instead became goddess of an [[C-197|entire dimension]]. Chris's earlier restraint may be due to his extremely limited worldview in which his entire world centers around his immediate surroundings, namely his hometown of [[Ruckersville]] and nearby [[Charlottesville]]. This weak sense of one's surroundings is a trait that is typically seen only in young children who lack basic life experience. One might hope that Chris's ability to understand scope and relevance had improved, but he has instead become only more delusional.

==Etymology==
One of Chris's [[The Wall of Originals|homemade ''Pokémon'' cards]] from [[2000]] featured a "'''Cwick City''' Gym", while [[City of Cwicville Tour!|an unfinished Game Boy Camera project]] dating from [[2001]] used the spellings "'''Cwicville'''" and "'''Cwickville'''". A sign on the door to his room used to read "Christian W. Chandler's Cwickville City Gym". It is unknown why he changed the spelling. Likely the alternate spelling just didn't stimulate [[Chris and his ego|his massive ego]] as much as his unaltered initials, even if it makes a lot less sense. (Although Christown, Chandlerville, etc. would have been just as good and made a lot more sense.)

== In-universe history ==

According to [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' 8]], Chris’s father, [[Bob Chandler]], founded CWCville in [[1982]].<ref>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu #8'']], [[Episode 18]], [[:File:Sonichu - Episode 18, Page 8.jpg|page 8]].</ref> It is unclear why it was not called Robertville: in fact, there are barely any records and symbols of the old regime – similar to the Roman practice of ''{{w|damnatio memoriae}}'', where all records of a traitor (statues, inscriptions, etc.) are erased after his death.

One fan theory is that Bob served as a regent while Chris was growing up, since there are {{w|Zaifeng, Prince Chun|real life}} {{w|Mswati III|examples}}: since Chris believes that CWCville is real, and that nearly all of the events in the comic mirror real life (albeit with a [[Chris and his ego|pro-Chris spin]]), it is safe to assume that Bob was alive when passing CWCville over to Chris. Another fan theory for Bob’s absence from the comics is that Chris overthrew Bob and secretly imprisoned him in an unknown location, but Chris’s stunted writing ability, laziness and ad-hoc manner of storytelling, indicates that Chris simply left Bob out of the comics.

== Geography and location ==

[[File:CWCville's zip code.png |thumb|CWCville's zip code, prior to the [[Idea Guy]] Saga.]]

CWCville began life as an infill city somewhere within the state of [[Virginia]],<ref>''[[Sonichu #3]]'', [[Sub-Episode 4]], page 4.</ref> but it became part of the larger [[C-197|C-197 dimension]] when Chris started promoting the [[Dimensional Merge]]. According to [[Sonichu 6|Sonichu #6]], one of the shortcut portals to CWCville was a dance mat behind the door to Chris's room.<ref>''[[Sonichu 6|Sonichu #6]]'', [[Episode 12.5]], page 8.</ref> Today, Chris uses so-called “[[Meditation#Third_eye|meditation]] sessions” to get there.

In [[2020]], Chris narrowed the “location” of the CWCville to somewhere “north to north-east” of {{w|Fredericksburg, Virginia}}:<ref>[[Discord Q&A 10#CWCville's Sister City (and Sports Teams)|Discord Q&A 10, “CWCville's Sister City (and Sports Teams)” section]]</ref> he later placed CWCville Beach by the shore of the Potomac River, east of Fredericksburg,<ref>[https://osm.org/go/ZZYfsOAc?m= OpenStreetMap location]</ref> claiming that the city is as large as Baltimore or New York City.<ref>[[The Journey to the Merge#Pebble Beach|The Journey to the Merge, “Pebble Beach” section]]</ref> The exact locations of key CWCville places as they relate to the [[Dimension 1218|real world]], such as the [[CWCville Mall]], remain unclear.

CWCville's {{w|ZIP Code}} was originally [[Chris's birthday|02024-1982]], an unused code {{w|List of ZIP Code prefixes#Starts with 0|available}} for Brockton, Massachusetts:<ref>''[[Sonichu #8]]'', [[Episode 17]], page 1.</ref> the correct ZIP code (at least during the infill era) would have started with 22, like [[Ruckersville]] (22968). Chris has changed the ZIP Code twice in [[2017]], as if it was possible through <s>dictatorial</s> mayoral decree:<ref>In reality, US law has several conditions for a town to change its ZIP Code.</ref> On 7 October the ZIP code was 16429, an unused code available for the vicinity of Erie, Pennsylvania, but a real ''[[Spanish|Mexican]]'' postal code for Tejomulco, a neighborhood in Mexico City.<ref>[[October 2017 Facebook posts#CWCville's zip code|October 2017 Facebook posts § CWCville's zip code]]</ref> On 19 November the ZIP Code changed to 69488, raising suspicions that the [[Idea Guys]] (who were active around the time) may be responsible: 69488 is the postal code for {{w|Birkenau (Odenwald)|Birkenau}} in Germany, which shares its name with the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp.

; Variations from the canon

There was an exception in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], which had a map that placed CWCville near Pallet Town and Giovanni's Gym in Viridian City, featured in the ''[[Pokémon]]'' series and located in Kanto, an area based on the {{w|Kantō region}} in Japan. The map also placed CWCville near {{w|Sonic Adventure#Gameplay|Station Square}}, from Sonic the Hedgehog's world.<ref>''[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]'', [[Episode 5]], page 12.</ref>

===Architecture and City Structure===

[[Sonichu 1| In the earliest renditions of Sonichu]] the city of CWCville looked to have far more in common with a small village rather than something that would resemble a city; the "city" at this point in time appears to consist of little more than 8 locations (3 to 4 of which are residential, 3 private businesses, station square and the [[Zapbud]] field which may count as public property) poorly connected to each over via the use of dirt roads that don't seem to quite fit together properly.

Evidentially after this issue, the city saw some major construction projects drastically expanding the city into a {{w|Brutalist_architecture|brutalist's}} [[Cwcisms| sticky dream]].

The City appears to be [[Autism| strictly segmented]] into numerous districts, starting from the left the CWCville mall/mayors office stands alone surrounded only by (presumably) it's own car park taking up a total 0.25 square miles or 0.402336² km, across the street there is the CWCville park which takes up the exact same amount of space.

Next door to the mall is the "Subdivision" areas which act as residential buildings for some of the cities residents including [[Sonichu]] himself and his family.

Further right we find 2 more commercial buildings, on the northern side is the target mini-mart and the southern side is the Wal-Mart mini mart; despite each being 1/4 the size of the CWCville mall they both seemingly lack parking areas.

Even further to the right there appears to be the main city; the city itself apparently stretches an exact 10 square miles on both sides of the street and consists almost entirely of skyscraper buildings and brutalist block style residential areas which presumably the lower classes of CWCvillies society call home.

And finally the furthest area apears to be mountain range, also a quarter mile in size.

Despite the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Germania_(city) Germania] style of restructuring; the roads remain badly thought out and barely usable. Although the roads now actually utilized tarmac instead of simple dirt there appears to be only one major road leading through the entire city from beginning to end, with no consideration for pedestrians or even how cars meant to turn around since the city ends abruptly against a mountain. With the city cut directly in half the only plausible way anyone from the northern half could reach the southern half would be on foot since any attempt whatsoever to cross in a car would best case scenario bring the entire city's traffic to a halt.

==Government and politics==

=== International Status ===
[[Image:CWCvilleArea.jpg|thumb|Map of CWCville area. Note how [[Sonic]]'s house is bigger than the entirety of Pallet Town. Also, if you look at Station Square, you'll notice Chris's obsession with the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]]. Also observe that Chris [[Obesity|needs an arrow]] [[Chris and his Ego|pointing to himself]]]]

CWCville is in theory part of the [[United States of America]], but in practice it seems to be a quasi-independent city-state, similar to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piEayQ0T-qA Hong Kong or Macau] in [[China]]. The city does not follow American electoral law, uses its own currency, and has several characteristics anathema to [[United States of America|U.S. ideals]]. The city seems more like the private domain of the Mayor than part of a larger federation.

[[Image:CWCville.jpg|thumb|This is what a typical city looks like after being nuked.]]
[[File:Riots_in_cwcville_SB.jpg|thumb|An artist's representation of a riot in CWCville. [[August 2020 social media posts#Very Distant alt-timeline|Chris did not approve.]]]]

=== Governance ===

Despite on paper following the US model of the administration of a small town, the government is in practice a totalitarian dictatorship. The government's grasp on power being almost exclusively maintained through arbitrary violence and terror dished out by [[Chaotic Combo|paramilitary]] [[Transformers|organizations]] who enjoy, behind closed doors, blank cheque authority from the Mayor and answer exclusively to him - similar to the real life [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argentine_Anticommunist_Alliance Argentine Anticommunist Alliance].

According to the [[Samantha Thaddeus]] e-mails, the government for the longest time was a "King/Queen thing" for which there was no voting.<ref>[[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails]]</ref> There is no separation of power, nor any checks on the Mayor's authority, the non-elected leader does what he pleases as Mayor-for-Life with supreme power, "advised" by an elected House of Representatives which sits at the CWCville Trade Center Building. Despite allowing elections for Board of Director Members,<ref>[[Mailbag 37|Mailbag #37]]</ref> Chris shows that they still hold no authority, existing as a purely advisory committee which the Mayor is not obligated to listen to. For example, he does not discuss attacking the [[4-cent garbage.com]] building with them, he just tells them the "game plan" as a ''fait accompli''. Furthermore, there is a complete lack of state sanctioned interest groups to make their voices heard, nor legalized codified or even organized opposition. The only known opposition figure was, till her capture, [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|the only college]] leading a hopeless insurgency and for that was vilified in the [[Sonichu (comic)|mayoral-controlled press]].

The Mayor attempts to refute accusations of dictatorship, (incorrectly<ref>*The {{w|Assad family|Assad dynasty}} in Syria *The {{w|Jean-Claude Duvalier|Duvalier}} {{w|François Duvalier|dynasty}} in Haiti *The {{w|Laurent-Désiré Kabila|Kabila}} {{w|Joseph Kabila|dynasty}} in the Democratic Republic of Congo *The {{w|Kim dynasty (North Korea)|Kim dynasty}} in North Korea The {{w|Pahlavi dynasty}} in Iran </ref>) claiming that dictatorships are never hereditary, while he [[Mailbag 34#Apparently North Korea's not a dictatorship|inherited the town from his father]].

[[File:SchuComic10P78.jpg|thumb|left|The Mayor addresses his people (DP [[Nazis|Leni Riefenstahl]], 1935, colorized).]]

The executive is completely controlled by the Mayor, with the police force, the so called "[[CWCstapo]]," answering directly to him only and arresting people who they deem [[trolls|personally opposed]] to the mayor at random.
The judiciary is similarly serving as little but a rubber-stamp for the often arbitrary whims of the ruling elite: Walsh was captured, deposed, and sent to a maximum security prison without a trial. The [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] and [[Manajerks]] are deposed, yet were supposedly allowed to go scot-free. When [[Simonla Rosechu]] was murdered by a Voltorb, four people — [[Evan]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], Sean, and [[Mao]] — are arrested and subjected to a show trial less than a week later, despite earlier receiving a public pardon from the Mayor.

The court system in practice disturbingly mirrors many of the hallmarks of Nazi Germany's [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People%27s_Court_(Germany) People's Courts]. During the [[Sonichu_10|Trial of the Asperpedia Four]] the judge is overtly biased in the Mayor's favor, no public defender is provided and the main defendent is permitted to defend himself and his fellow co-defendants, despite being clearly under the influence of drugs. The prosecution dishes out draconian punishments, considering slander via the [[Asperpedia]] punishable by death. Evidence gathered using [[Magi-Chan|Magi-Chan's]] psychic powers is considered admissible in court. When the four are found guilty by a clearly biased jury, they are immediately executed in cruel and inhumane ways.

===Sociopolitical issues and human rights===

[[Attraction Sign|Soliciting sex]] is legal in CWCville, while possession of [[tobacky|tobacco]] is a very serious offense. [[Alcohol]] was illegal until 2009, when the ban was [[Chris's Big Night Out|rescinded]]. Laws have been enacted to persecute [[homosexuals]], and [[Mailbag 31|psychic surveillance is used to monitor sexual purity]]. This constant Orwellian surveillance, which is obviously done under the guise of "protecting" the citizens, flies in the face of the basic human right to privacy. Since there is no plausible way to oversee or contest an official with the capability of ultra-human powers, it also effectively elevates the official above law. The Mayor has also hinted that the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, a legally unrecognized paramilitary organization, have [[Chris and the Law#In the comic|immunity from prosecution]].<ref>[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3]]</ref> This goes against the concept of supremacy of law that is the very foundation of modern societies; some sociologists have pointed out that this quality of CWCville is in fact the hallmark of all police states. It must be reiterated that Chris genuinely believes that CWCville is a good place to live.

Despite all this perceived military and law enforcement might, the police and paramilitaries demonstrably offer little real protection or competence: troublemakers like [[Wes Iseli]] ruin weddings with near impunity, and the [[Mary Lee Walsh|dissident leaders]] remained at large [[Sonichu 10|until recently]].

As of November 2017, CWCville also houses multiple prison camps on the outskirts, where enemies from the [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|Gamindustri war]] are sent to be reformed.

===Elections===
Chris originally planned to hand over the role of Mayor to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his sister Crystal]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]],<ref>[[Miyamoto_Saga#From_Chris_to_Miyamoto]]</ref> but later decided not to. On 3 [[March 2009]], Chris announced that BILLY MAYS was the new Mayor of CWCville. The next day, Chris revoked his edict that made MAYS the new Mayor, establishing a government-in-exile in [[Chris's room|his bedroom]]. Most legal scholars, however, argue that since Chris was not wearing the [[Medallion]], which Chris has indicated is necessary for a video to be TRUE and HONEST, his statements to the contrary are false and therefore not legally binding, meaning BILLY MAYS was still the Mayor of CWCville. On 28 [[June 2009]], BILLY MAYS died in his mayoral mansion, allegedly due to a cocaine overdose, but the hand of Chandler was suspected. The city was plunged into mourning. Chris wasted no time in seizing control of CWCville, announcing during a [[Chris chan Discusses|post-coup interview]] that {{w|Doublethink|he was always the ruler}} and that there would be no further elections.

However, Chris eventually lost interest in being the mayor. By some point prior to 2017, he handed over the role to [[Allison Amber]].

[[File:CWCville mayor Brendan Frasier.png|thumb|200px|CWCville's mayor, 2017 - 2021.]]

In November 2017, an [[Idea Guy]] tricked Chris into believing that an election was to take place, with several candidates running.<ref>[[November 2017 tweets#CWCville_mayoral_election]]</ref> He created a poll on Twitter for people to vote for the new mayor. The candidates were:

*[[Brendan Fraser]] - An American actor known for his role in the ''Mummy'' movies, who became a meme due to his career decline and heavy alimony payments ([https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/brendan-frasers-alimony-just-fuck-my-shit-up link])
*[[Mao|Mao Zedong]] - communist leader of [[China]] between 1949 and 1976
*[[Allison Amber]] - then mayor of CWCville, formerly Chris's secretary
*{{w|Augusto Pinochet}} - Chilean dictator from 1973 to 1990
*{{w|Vladimir Putin}} - Current President of Russia

A few hours later, he deleted his poll and created a new one, claiming some of the candidates had dropped out. His new candidates were:

*Bob McKendrick - A character from the video game ''PAYDAY 2'', who tried running for mayor of the DC Metro area
*Vladimir Putin
*Brendan Fraser

He later deleted this poll as well. Brendan Fraser won the election and took office as mayor.<ref>[[December 2017 Facebook posts#Jamsta molested Punchy]]</ref>

Two days later he posted on Twitter that an election for new Chief of CWCville Police Department would take place. His candidates were<ref>[[November 2017 tweets#CWCville_Chief_of_Police_election]]</ref>:

*[[Wikipedia:Manuel Pardo (serial killer)|Manuel Pardo Jr]] - a [[jerkop]] and serial killer executed in 2012
*[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]
*{{w|Manuel Noreiga|Man-Ewell Noriega}} [''sic''] - Dictator of Panama from 1983 to 1989
*{{w|Ed Gein|Edward Geen}} [''sic''] - A notorious murderer and body snatcher who was known as the real American Psycho.

Ian Brandon Anderson ended up winning with 65% of the votes.

In April 2021, Chris stated the current mayor to be [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[April 2021 social media posts#Twilight Sparkle and CWCVille]]</ref> While in jail, Chris said that Walsh remained mayor: ''"Who has Time for Elections when us Goddesses Defend Cwcville (The City Of) from Rei freaking Ryghts, Eggman, Bowser, Giovanni, and so-on on occassion, and we have the Dimension Merge Completed and the Collective Shift in Progress, then we have my Second Coming on 1218 Earth. Not to Mention the Damage Control and Prevention that are beyond Non(Super)-Powerful Individuals' Control, anyway."''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (RadioRabbit0)]]</ref>

The right to vote has "even" been extended to [[Niggos|those of African descent]] (though [[Women's rights|apparently not to women]], as some women are seen [[Sonichu 8#Episode_17:_Epilogue|protesting]] in order to gain suffrage in CWCville).<ref>[[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]</ref>

===Recent Developments===

[[File:Mayor signer.png|thumb|200px|Charlottesville's Mayor Signer, also opposed to Pmurt.]]

In [[February 2017]], prompted by President [[Pmurt]], Chris declared CWCville to be a sanctuary city,<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#CWCville is a sanctuary city]]</ref> [[Things Chris has ripped off|mirroring a proposal by Charlottesville's real-life mayor]]. He also suggested that CWCville does not recognize Trump as president at all, lending further credence to the theory that CWCville is not actually part of the United States. Strangely, he claims that Vladimir Putin, the real-life president of Russia, is the president of the United states.

Between his Facebook posts and new issues of ''Sonichu'', Chris has revealed significant changes to CWCville since [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], showing that during the hiatus of [[Sonichu 11]], he had simply continued his fantasy/coping mechanism in his [[autism|mind]].

*Chris is no longer the mayor. [[Allison Amber]], formerly the mayor's secretary, took up the role. The circumstances of Chris's resignation are unclear, and it is unknown whether Amber was elected or if CWCville remains a dictatorship.

*Chris gave himself the position of the city's [[Ego|creator]] instead, since holding the imaginary responsibilities of a small-town mayor is [[stress|too much]] for him. Of course, his new position still earns Chris VIP treatment from the townspeople.

*The city has become ''even more'' of a police-state, with [[Magi-Chan]] reading the minds of the populace to determine if anybody poses a threat. Ironically, this solution is far more extreme than anything President Trump has done, including his executive order to shut down entry from select countries, which Chris has criticized.

*On the other hand, [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]] shows CWCville celebrating its [[SLGBTQ]] pride festival, indicating a reversal of Chris's long-standing homophobia and possibly a continuation of Chris's repeal-by-fiat in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] of the city's anti-gay legislation.

==Economy==

CWCville's economy on paper operates under an american-style free market economy, yet in practice the Mayor exercises considerable control over the economy: the [[KCWC|radio station]] and [[CWC Cola|soft drink company]] are named after the Mayor, which indicates either nationalization of normally private businesses or rampant cronyism. The banning of goods that the Mayor disapproves of has also contributed to the city's financial troubles. [[Tobacky|Tobacco]], unhealthy as it may be, is illegal to sell, possess or consume, despite the multibillion dollar value of the industry, which by all reasonable analysis, means it is very likely one of the single most-smuggled contraband items into CWCville writ large, fetching black marketeers windfall profits.

As of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas 2009]], ten homeless shelters have been set up: Chris himself claims that these ten-story "soup hotels" house a population of 900-1,800 indigents, and come equipped with free cable TV.<ref>[[Mailbag 20|Mailbag #20]]</ref> This means that the small city of CWCville has a homeless population of at least 10,000 (in comparison, the entire nation of Japan has just over 6,000<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_homeless_population</ref>). The Mayor's personal friends, such as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], live in state-sponsored, suburban housing. He also supplied furniture for [[Wild Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], [[Episode 19]], Page 21</ref>

CWCville also pays for the [[TrollBusters]]' private jet,<ref name="Jackie Chat #3">[[Jackie Chat 3|Jackie Chat #3]]</ref> and the Mayor's hedgehog friends receive free housing, credit cards and other gifts from his office, not unlike Soviet nomenklatura. Sonichu and Rosechu, both being too lazy to work, get $3,500 per month, (as shown in [[Mailbag 21]]), which is unusually a large sum of [[Chris and money|money]] for a [[monthly tugboat]]. This, also coupled with the unusually high homelessness rate, could tell us that CWCville possibly severely overtaxes its citizens to feed its [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|delusional, power-hungry dictator's]] multiple [[Dating Education|vanity]] [[TrollBusters|projects]].

Chris claims that the city has "a lot of [[Kevin the Jew|jews]] and [[Inos|immigrants]], like new york," and is on the stock exchange.<ref name="Jackie Chat #3"/>

=== Currency ===

[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|CWCville currency]]

CWCville also mints its own currency, the '''CWCville quarter'''. It first came to prominence in ''[[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]'', and comes in only two coins: the C-Quarter and the W-Quarter. Ten C-Quarters make one W-Quarter, indicating that Chris has [[Honor roll|no idea what "quarter" means]]. The W-Quarter is round and golden in color, with a silver edge and a red "W", while the C-Quarter is C-shaped and sky blue with a silver edge. Both appear to reference Chris's publishing house logo at the time, which notably appeared on the [[CWCipedia]]. CWCville still issue fines in US dollars for unknown reasons: most likely, to shore up foreign <s>currency reserves</s> spending money for a tottering dictatorship.

According to Chris on 19 November 2019,<ref>[https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1196903997300498434 Tweet] by @CPU_CWCSonichu, on 19 November 2019.</ref> and assuming that {{w|SIX Interbank Clearing}} chooses the W-Quarter as the main currency unit, the official exchange rate is {{abbr|CWQ|CWCville quarter}} 1 = {{w|US Dollar|{{abbr|USD|US Dollar}}}} 2.50,<ref>CW is actually the country code for Curaçao, and the currency code is merely for demonstration purposes.</ref> which puts the CWCville quarter only behind {{w|Kuwaiti dinar|Kuwait}}, {{w|Bahraini dinar|Bahrain}} and {{w|Omani rial|Oman}} in terms of purchasing power.<ref>[https://www.xe.com/currencytables/?from=USD&date=2020-01-01 XE.com exchange rates] for 1 January 2020 ([https://web.archive.org/web/20200410043434/https://www.xe.com/currencytables/?from=USD&date=2020-01-01 archived] on 10 April 2020).</ref> In reality, the irrational command economy and the ongoing [[Financhu Crisis|debt crisis]] in real-life means that the parallel (black market) rates may command a huge discount… {{w|Hungarian pengő#End of the pengő|something like}} {{abbr|USD|US Dollar}} 1 = {{abbr|CWQ|CWCville quarter}} 4×1029.

== The Invasion of CWCville ==
{{main|Sonichu 13}}
[[File:IdeaGuyMap.jpeg|thumb|A map created by [[Idea Guy]] Joshua Wise]]
After years of insanity and borderline totalitarianism, things finally seemed to be improving for the citizens of CWCville. Chris had stepped down as mayor, Magi-Chan was no longer spying on the populace due to his duties as Chris' husband, and beloved American film actor [[Brendan Fraser]] was elected as Chris' successor, ensuring CWvCille would no longer be an ego-driven police state and would also be protected from evil mummies. Under Fraser's benevolent rule, it seemed like CWCville would finally be a free and happy place. Unfortunately, this newfound peace and prosperity would not last long, due to the corruptions of the Idea Guys and their [[weening|ween]] ideas. The Idea Guys convinced Chris that CWCville was under attack by various different villains and factions, placing it in a frenzied state of war. First invaded by villains from Hyperdimension Neptunia, the invaders were quickly beaten back and put into CWCville's newly established prison camps.

Later, the city was invaded by the neighboring nation of [[Australatina]]. The Australatinas managed to wipe out most of CWCville's military, who were forced to fight a war on two fronts when the city erupted into mass riots. The Underground tunnels beneath CWCville (presumably created by Simonla who didn't want to ride the fucking bus like a normal person) collapsed, causing mass devastation and splitting the city into two sides: East and West. The Australatinas then pledged their loyalty to invading Nazis, who began ethically cleansing CWCville. They successfully captured most of Chris' hedgehog Pokemon and wiped out most of the wild Pokemon around CWCville. Chris' characters were brutally executed but quickly respawned. The female Sonichus were all raped and impregnated until they were freed by Chris. The Nazis were finally beaten back and the city was rebuilt.

Despite all of their reckless bumbling, the Idea Guys managed to do something no one could ever imagine was possible: make CWCville an even worse shithole. Sure, under Chris' reign the city was a manchild's playground escape fantasy with Orwellian undertones, but at least you could get a job at Taco Bell and live a reasonably peaceful life if you didn't smoke or call the mayor a tard. Once the Idea Guys took over, the city became a living hell filled with constant death and destruction with forced labor, rape, and death camps. The lesson is simple: being ruled by a bumbling and incompetent but well-meaning manchild might be bad, but being ruled by murderous nazis is at least moderately worse.

== CWCville's Restoration ==
Chris has been rather inconsistent with what parts of Sonichu 13 were actually canon and which parts he discarded. Regardless, the city was restored to its Pre-War state and all the nightmarish changes were reversed. Presumably, the timeline was fixed and all the characters returned to their normal lives, and [[Brendan Fraser]] was still the mayor, with Ian Brandon Anderson serving as his Chief of Police.

With the Nazis, evil CPUs and reality-warping demons all defeated and a fantastic actor once again leading the city, CWCville has presumably finally become a somewhat decent place, even if everything there is ass-backwards and totally absurd. Chris has written very little about CWCville following the events of Issue 13. However, Chris claimed that he attended Babscon there in 2020. CWCville, and presumably all of Dimension C-197 was totally unaffected by the COVID-19 pandemic.

== Twin towns ==

[[File:1920px-2008-0830-Charlottesville-DowntownMall.jpg|thumb|left|CWCville, as portrayed by Chris in his videos.]]

CWCville appears to be twinned with [[Charlottesville, Virginia]], the largest and most familiar urban environment in Chris's life.

Chris has made many connections between the two cities, mainly as a result of his narrow perception of the outside world: for example, Chris presented footage of Charlottesville as that of CWCville,<ref>[[Rollin' and Trollin']]</ref> while CWCville hosts the Dogwood Festival, which is an Charlottesville tradition.<ref name=p32/> Chris also stated that CWCville is as important and worthy of respect as every American city that begins with "C", but mentioned only Charlottesville by name, calling it "the most important one" of these "C-Villes"; as if Chicago, Cincinnati, Colorado Springs, Corpus Christi, [[Ohio trip|Columbus or Cleveland]], for example, were so much less important than it.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref>

{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:EmperorChris.png|How Chris sees himself as CWCville's ruler.
Image:Chris Jong-Il.jpg|Artist's depiction of CWCville's beloved Mayor.
Image:Big-brother-is-watching-you-94815124855.png|The future of CWCville.
Image:0858-Cwcville7.JPG|The great <strike>dictator</strike> director on his throne.
Image:CWCville Degeneration.jpg|An artist's depiction of CWCville after Chris passes away and it is forgotten.
Image:3adc9ab34027a8ea714b6570897088e8-png.jpg|City map, with aerial photo recreation below.
Image:Cwcville_Map_Version_3.png|Alternate city map, showing the rural areas around the city and how it connects to other areas.
File:Chris_ruling_cwcville_SB.jpg|Chris ruling as mayor of CWCville.
</gallery></center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWCville Tour Video
| ytid = bbHypp3ziBQ
| maker = MycalFelps
| stardate = 11 [[May 2010]]
}}

==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]
* [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20130210092136/http://www.freewebs.com/cwcvillechronicles/ CWCville Chronicles] (archive from 10 Feb 2013)

{{CWCverse}}
{{Mayors of CWCville}}
{{Fantasies}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]
[[Category:Fictional places]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

User:Rtucker913

2023-03-05T18:33:47Z

Rtucker913:

{{protip|I think it's safe to say that the story of Chris-Chan is finished.}}

I am rtucker913. The TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Chunky Mustache Dad (Totally not Uncle Grandpa) and Dog-Thing (Totally not 1950s Snoopy). I mostly do minor stuff. Spelling, punctuation, concise language. I do not tend to add new information unless related to the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics.]] I also make redirect pages to make navigating the site a little bit easier.

I was the guy who released info on Chris's family back in [[January 2017]].

https://kiwifarms.net/members/everythingisawkward999.12539/

{{Template:AssBurger}}
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{{Template:Straight}}
{{Template:Virgin with rage}}
{{Template:White}}
{{Template:ClassicChris}}
{{Template:Pedofork}}
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Jail Letter - 20 November 2021

2022-05-17T17:19:51Z

Rtucker913:

{{JesusPossession}}

On 20 November 2021, Chris sent a letter to a Twitter fan, '''Adam''', also known by his screen name '''Maniacwesker'''.

In this letter, Chris outright says that as a result of the [[Dimensional Merge]], the world that we live in is now the same universe as the one that the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]] takes place in. Chris also discusses with Maniacwesker about how he interacts with his [[imaginary friends]] in jail, and how all of the events prior fit into the canon of the comics. Of particular note is how Chris also believes that he has made allies with the jail guards, and how the sender appears to be giving his phone number to Chris.

==Chris's Response==
{{EnvelopeFront
| sender = Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu
| address1 = c/o CVRJ 13021 James Madison Hwy
| county = Orange, VA
| zip = 22960
| date = 22 Nov 2021
| center = Adam███████ ████████████████████ ████████████████████ ████████████████████
| lower = ██████████
}}
{{quotebox|November 20, 2021

Hey Adam,

I am in quite good health, mentality, and spirituality, and feeling good. I appreciate your offer, but I am managing my finances well. And I appreciate your offer for donations to my account. But, be sure to send donations to Barbara at the Sonichu Temple as well.

I will accept your phone # and surprise you with a call soon enough.

I am in a cell "by myself", but I am not alone, for I have Magi-Chan, Cryzel, Sylvana, Mewtwo, and everyone else within my reach (with my hubbychu chillin' with I and our highest Rank Gardevoir in this cell at the moment), and I work Out of Body in my continued hard work, duties, and efforts with Everyone of our Allies and Friends, during these events and Everything. As if the Northern Lights within Your View, and the Solar Flares in high numbers are not Obvious Clues towards the Happenings with Chaotic Rainbows, and Judgment Day upon the Toxic Minority left behind.

Anyway, I am disbarred from interacting with the other inmates, and am allies with some of the Ladies and Gentleman of the police staff in this Male and Female occupied facility.}}

{{quotebox|You are Litteraly Living the Sonichu Comics I have written an drawn already on our recombined Earth, and I shall write and draw more after completing the tough Diving Task, with the Collective Shift, my Second Coming, and all. NES: Kabuki Quantam Fighter, SNES: Super Mario World, N64: Pokemon Stadium 1 & 2, Gabecube: Sonic Adventure 1 DX and 2 Battle.

Thank you for your kindness, Adam.

Go forth with Peace, Clarity, and Blessings by my Power, Glory, and Authority as God.

Be Safe and Well,

Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart, and Lord, Messiah, Savior, and God of all.}}
{{JailDisclaimer}}

==Original scans==

<center>
<gallery>
File:JailLetter20Nov2021Env.jpg|Envelope
File:JailLetter20Nov2021PG1.jpg|Page 1
File:JailLetter20Nov2021PG2.jpg|Page 2
File:JailLetter20Nov2021Disc.jpg|Jail Disclaimer
</gallery>
</center>

{{JailLetter}}

[[Category:Jail Letters]]

Barbara Chandler

2022-04-02T18:38:52Z

Rtucker913:

{{Honest}}

{{Unreliable|type=cred|Barb has a long history [[Gal_Pal_E-mails_3#Borb_vs_MAGfest|manipulating]] people.|She might also have dementia or some other cognitive disability.}}

{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend [[Love Quest|finding yourself]] a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris feigns giving advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13#Paging Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud...]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She [[Death threats|threatens to kill me]] in her episode of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]].</ref>}}

{{quote|Barbara was more of a “Guilty Pleasure” waifu|Chris [[Chris and escapism#Roleplaying|roleplaying]] as Magi-Chan, demonstrating his [[Chris and sex#Incest|Oedipal complex]].}}

{{Infobox Person
|name = Barbara Chandler
|image = July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|imagesize=250px|
|birthname = Barbara Ann Weston
|aliases = Barb [[Obesity|Snorlax]] [[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|Sugar Darling]] Barbie Chan<ref>[[June 2021 social media posts#Decent flashlight]]</ref> lady friend<ref>[[Incest fallout chat leaks]]</ref> Merlin<ref>[[Jail Letter - 11 January 2022]]</ref>
|label3 = Date of Birth
|year = 1941
|month = 10
|day = 1
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|spouse = Ran Coleman Yeatts (1961–1963, divorce) [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]] (1980–2011, his death)
|children = [[Cole Smithey|Joseph Cole Smithey]] [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|father = Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955)
|mother = Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967)
|occupation = Office worker (retired)
|saga = [[The GAMe PLACe]], [[Affair with Mother|Incest]]
}}

'''Barbara Ann Chandler'''<ref>[[:File:Barbara Chandler Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.png]]</ref> (''née'' '''Weston''', formerly '''Yeatts'''; born 1 {{w|1941#October|October 1941}}<ref name=Harvey155>https://web.archive.org/web/20170903151241/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and the mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since, although Chris did have [[Affair with Mother|other, more twisted gifts]] in mind for his mother years later.

Though Bob has remained relatively popular with [[Trolls]] and Christorians alike, the same cannot be said for Barbara, who has been consistently disliked by nearly everyone but Chris and her late husband – with many members of her own family distancing themselves from her at least since at least the funeral of one of [[Aunt Corrina|Chris's aunts]]. Whereas Bob eventually recognized his shortcomings as a parent to Chris and attempted to correct them late into his life, Barbara has consistently been one of the biggest enablers of Chris's bad behavior since he was a child, on top of emotionally manipulating, threatening, and on occasion physically abusing him. Barbara has been instrumental in turning Chris into the spoiled manchild that he is, and like Bob before her, has encouraged him not to seek a serious career path in favor of [[Monthly tugboat|getting welfare off of his condition]], in spite of the fact that he could get a minimum-wage job and still qualify for welfare.

It has long been suspected that she has some form of narcissistic personality disorder, which goes hand-in-hand with what we know about her neglectful to abusive relationship with Chris, along with his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]], who received a much worse treatment from her. Her hoarding habits also indirectly lead to the [[2014 house fire]], as sparks from a coffee maker that had no business being plugged into an extension cord in the bathroom burned the paper, plastic, and wood in the room before engulfing the house, and much of the [[Financhu Crisis]] is subsequently on her. Nonetheless, Chris remains unaware of just how bad a parent she's been to him, and he continues to cling to her in an Oedipal fashion (to a horrifying degree, as we'd later find out) as she approaches death's door, and he's no closer to becoming a self-sufficient adult two decades after graduating high school.

For much of the Classic Era of Christory, Barbara was extremely obese and napped a lot (earning her the nickname "{{w|Snorlax}}", after the fat, sleepy [[Pokémon]] of the same name), but she has since shed a ton of weight in her twilight years. This sharp loss of weight, loss of hair color, and knowledge of her son's status as a living internet meme all factored into her role in appearing in multiple begging videos, alongside reportedly playing up senility for the camera to [[Chris and manipulation|manipulate]] viewers into paying for donations. (Whether or not Barb was "just acting" senile remains unclear, particularly with later events in mind.) Unfortunately, [[Chris and money|much like her son]], she spends most of the donations that she receives on frivolous crap rather than working to resolve her mounting [[debt]] that which will be placed upon Chris after she kicks the bucket.

Nonetheless, some offered sympathy to Barb in light of some incredibly dark revelations late into her life. Near the end of [[June 2021]], Chris told [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] that [[Affair with Mother|he began an incestuous relationship with Barbara]] (long speculated to be suffering from degenerative brain disease, which by extension could mean that she may have been [[Chris and sex#Rape|unable to consent]] with her son), and audio of this revelation quickly leaked out to the internet at large. Chris previously told [[Null]] that he'd found a [[boyfriend-free girl]] over the age of 50 who was an accountant years ago – details which match up with a description of who Barb is – leading Null to believe that Chris found a girlfriend who he didn't want people to find out about before eventually realizing that Chris molested his own mother. Following this horrifying revelation, Null severed his ties with Chris, and the damage done was swift and immeasurable as both Chris and Barb were vacated from [[14 Branchland Court]] and separated by [[Jerkops|the authorities]], with Barb being placed under medical care and [[Jail Saga|Chris being sent to jail, awaiting trial]].

Barb returned to her residence at some point in [[August 2021]],<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210904171746/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aug-29-2021-barb-returned-to-14bc.99387//]</ref> apparently appearing more rattled than usual.<ref>[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref> In an [[October 2021]] letter to a fan, Chris mentioned that he had received a letter from Barb during his stay in jail.<ref name=25letter>[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021 (Virginia fan)]]</ref> A [[November 2021]] letter to [[Other enablers#Kenneth Engelhardt|Kengle]] revealed that Barb was involved in a car crash claiming that she had suffered two broken ribs and a concussion, and has since been at the mercy of senior caregivers and extended family members who had never wanted to see her ever again until hearing about what she'd been through.<ref>[https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/latest-letter-from-cwc-dated-november-30th-barbara-injured-in-a-automobile-accident.2011/]</ref> This was later confirmed by a Carfax report<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-latest-letter-to-kengle-barb-sustains-serious-injuries-in-automobile-accident-30th-november.107209/page-13#post-10675538 Confirmation of Barb's 2002 Dodge Caravan being totalted]</ref> and Barb being charged with Fail to Yield Right-of-Way for the incident.<ref>[[:File:Barbara Chandler Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.png]]</ref> As it stands, it seems very likely that Barb will pass away with a heavy burden; unable to say goodbye to the son that she pampered and spoiled rotten, and in similar conditions to the ones that ended her husband's life.

==Spelling of name==
Barbara's high school yearbook and both her marriage licenses spell her full maiden name as ''Barbara '''Ann''' Weston'', as do other sources like Harvey Powers's genealogical website<ref name=Harvey155/> (her divorce decree omits the middle name entirely). Chris, however, usually (though not consistently) spells her name as ''Barbara '''Anne''' Weston Chandler'' with an e. This may be because he believes she is named after [[Anne Boleyn]].

==Early life==
[[Image:Babs1960.PNG|thumb|left|Barbara's senior photo from high school. While she looks pretty here, she would not age well.]]

Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967). They married in 1926 when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was 29 or 30]].<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170825073641/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html</ref> Otto died in 1955, after falling from a horse-drawn wagon.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200603075643/http://genealogytrails.com/vir/charlotte/obits_w.html</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180425032751/http://www.harveypowers.com:80/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref> For whatever reason, Barb believes that she is descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], but this is impossible given that Elizabeth I, Boleyn's only daughter, died without an heir. She also thinks that a more recent ancestor named [[Daniel Weston]] boarded the ''Mayflower'', but no such person exists.

According to a [[January 2012 Facebook Posts#February is coming up|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 29 January 2012, Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years. Why Chris knows this is anyone's guess, although it's possible that he learned the basic principles of [[Honest Content]] from Mommy Dearest. According to Chris's leaked conversation with [[Isabella Loretta Janke]], Barbara has had sex with eight different men over the course of her life (including Bob but ''not'' Chris himself). She has never [[mass debating|masturbated]].

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|Barb, emboldened by her hoard, evolved into a Snorlax over time.]]

Barb grew up in Red Oak, Virginia, and graduated from {{w|Randolph-Henry High School}} in Charlotte Court House, Virginia in 1960. Due to family poverty, she was obliged to sew her own clothing.<ref name=younger>[[June 2021 social media posts#Chris larps as his younger self]]</ref> While at Randolph-Henry, she was treasurer of her school's chapter of the [[Women's rights|Future Homemakers of America]], a member of the Randolph-Henry bus patrol, a typist for her school yearbook, ''The Log'', and a member of the [[Spanish]] Club. She was also a member of many other school organizations, suggesting that she was very involved in extracurricular activities while in high school. She was also known for her perfect attendance record from her sophomore through her senior years of high school.

According to her senior yearbook, her nickname in high school was Bobcat, possibly due to [[Obesity|her figure]].

Sometime after her father died in 1955, according to Chris, she left Red Oak and "decided to set off on her own... [[Love Quest|in search for romance and her future]]". Either before or after she left her mother disowned her. After she left home, "her siblings, cousins, and others in Redoak" began to spread rumors about her and call her a slut in her absence.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Chris has scabies too]]</ref> As it would turn out, her relationship with her family would never get any better.

According to [[Cousin Al|Al]], Barb aggressively went after one of her sisters' husbands or fiancés when she was young, alienating herself from all of her siblings except for [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]], who remained on good terms with her "for some reason". Al suspects that the man she went after was [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Tom Ashby]], the husband of her sister [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Harriet]].<ref>[[Catherine#The_bowling_outing]]</ref> Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived Corrina.<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref>

According to Chris, Barb majored in "accounting and numbers".<ref name=younger></ref> Where and when she attended college is unknown, as is the kind of degree she obtained.

==Cole and his various fathers==
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|left|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she is {{w|Maury Povich}} trash.

Based on his experiences with various stepfathers, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates".<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The use of "scurrilous" in this statement makes no sense, suggesting [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] tries to use [[Chris and English|big]] words to impress people – a family trait, perhaps.

===Jack Dale Smithey===
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claims she was once married. However, Cole was unable to find a marriage license for the couple or any photographs from their alleged wedding.<ref name="coleemail2" /> In 1995, Cole's friend, syndicated cartoonist {{w|Ted Rall}}, made an Internet post questioning the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the year Cole was born) and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref> Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

According to Barbara, she and Jack had a "fancy" wedding which was attended by her sisters and mother. Chris told Cole that Barbara considers Jack "a total drunk and loser".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

In [[July 2021]], (in the middle of his incestuous affair with her), Chris asked Barbara about her relationship with Jack.

{{quote|Short story of it is that Jack and Barbie went out, sexed up, knocked her up.

Then he hit the road; was not in it to be a daddy. The life on the open road called out to him more.|Chris on Jack}}

Chris also mentioned that no photos of Jack were kept at home, though they did have photos of Jerry.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Barbara's ex]]</ref>

===Ran Coleman Yeatts===
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest College yearbook.]]

Records found by Cole in Richmond show that Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in June 1961. Yeatts was born in {{w|Pittsylvania County, Virginia}} but grew up in {{w|South Hill, Virginia|South Hill}}, a town about 35 miles east of Red Oak which also happens to be the hometown of Barb's mother Carrie and her moonshiner dad.<ref name=yeatts>[http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372 Ran Coleman Yeatts obituary]</ref> As late as 1960 he was enrolled at {{w|Wake Forest College}} in {{w|Winston-Salem, North Carolina}} (now Wake Forest University). He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref> Coincidentally, Bob Chandler was also living in Winston-Salem around the same time, where he was married to Patricia Faye Harley and working as an engineer.

According to their marriage certificate, Ran was living in Richmond at the time of the marriage, while Barb was still living in Red Oak. They were married at a Baptist church in {{w|Wylliesburg, Virginia}} near Red Oak (which the divorce documents misspell as "Sylliesburg").

A divorce was granted to Barb on 15 May 1963, at which point she was pregnant with Cole and living in Richmond. The decree states that Ran deserted her on 28 April 1962, although the final digit in "1962" appears to have been altered from a "3". Cole was born on 24 July 1963.

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him during his childhood and be introduced as a "friend of the family".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts later remarried and died aged 67 on 6 June 2007. His obituary in the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' makes no mention of Cole or Barb, although Ran did have a grandson also named Cole.<ref name=yeatts/>

<center><gallery>
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce
</gallery></center>

===Jerry Harmon===
Jerry Harmon is Barbara's former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond during the early 1970s. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

==Life with Bob==
[[File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|thumb|1980 6 7 - Borb's marriage license]]
[[File:Barab?.JPG|thumb|Seen in the background of a 2020 photograph; this is probably Barb's wedding portrait]]
Bob and Barbara met at "Maddy's Pub" in Richmond<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Fear of the future]]</ref> (probably Matt's British Pub in Shockoe Slip, where Bob was a sing-along leader)<ref>[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]]</ref> on a karaoke night in 1979. Barbara was there with friends and [[Bob]] was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, vividly recalled them being a pair of drunken dumbasses.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" /> Later that year Bob was transferred from Richmond to [[Charlottesville]]. They settled in the outlying suburb of [[Ruckersville]].

Barbara worked for several years for Virginia Power (VEPCO, today called [[Wikipedia:Dominion Energy|Dominion Energy]]) in the finance department.<ref name=younger></ref>

In September [[1993]], Chris and Bob moved from Ruckersville to Chesterfield County near Richmond so that Chris would be able to attend middle school at a mainstream school.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> Barbara did not accompany them and remained in Ruckersville. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement and that she still visited Bob and Chris every weekend during the time she lived separately from them. After going into retirement when Chris was in the eighth grade (early 1996), Barbara came to live with her husband and son in Chesterfield.<ref>[[Mailbag 32#Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes]]</ref><ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they spent their twilight years from 2000 onward living in their Ruckersville home with Chris. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the [[14_Branchland_Court|family home]] and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house. According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They began sleeping in different rooms sometime around the mid-2000s "because they're not as close as they should, used to or can be".<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> It can be presumed that as they got older, they grew more distant, but never to the point of wanting a divorce.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>

==Treatment of Chris==

[[File:Barbara1993cropped.png|thumb|Barb c. 1993.]]
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|Age was not kind to Barb.]]

===Abuse and manipulation===
{{quote|And he told me of mom saying she was going to pack up and leave the house, then I ran downstairs, finding her on the couch; she was soo miserable and sad; she talked of Wanting to Die, "you don't even have to change my clothes, you can just bury me in what I have on." I was soo sad and crying and soo sorry for the way I misbehaved; we hugged and made up a bit.|An example of Barb's manipulation.<ref name=magfest>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref>}}

Barb has had a long history of abusing and/or [[Chris and manipulation|manipulating]] her children. For example, she has often used threats of suicide to guilt Chris into obeying her whims. When Bob and Chris once tried to discuss cleaning the hoard to Barb, she responded by threatening suicide.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200810205450/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-1-12-skylanders-imaginators-leader-christine-w-chandler-random-review-n-stuff.27570/page-9 </ref>
She also threatened suicide to her family during the [[Ivy]] Saga, supposedly as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

In an episode from 2011, when Chris failed to book himself a hotel room for [[MAGfest]], due to being broke, and planned to sleep in his car,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 29]]</ref> Barb prevented him from going by pointing out the "crime risk and chilly temperatures", threatening to lock him out of their house, claiming that she would pack up and leave, and later told him she wanted to die. After Chris folded and went to his room to cry about it, she gave him a "half-payment of a copy of DC Universe Online to make up for not allowing [him] to go".<ref name=magfest></ref> Later that year, after Chris became a [[tomgirl]], Barb tried to stop him from wearing dresses and make-up by telling him she feared he would kill her. She then ordered him to sit down, and she cut his hair.<ref name="jackie26"></ref>

It also appears that Chris's diet is not a concern for Barb. The night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and has not made a meal for Chris since then.<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

In addition, Barb has used the specter of old age for her own gain, by manipulating Chris into thinking she will have a heart attack. This tactic has been used so often that Chris will panic and call 911 if Barb does not answer the phone when he calls her to check up on her when he is out of the house.<ref>Comments from Marvin on Kiwi Farms, gone when the site was taken down.</ref> When Barb and Chris were both arrested for [[assault and battery]], Chris was extremely worried about her health, saying in an e-mail:

{{quotebox|My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother

Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her.}}

The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] summed up Chris's relationship with Barb:

{{quoteboxgreen|Well, I don't think they talk very much. However, no, Chris is Barb's hand servant. She screams for him and he comes running. She has him change the newspaper the dogs shit on, she has him run errands to bring her stuff, and she used to have him haul her goodwill crap to the car, and then from the car into the house.

''...''

I think Barb's yelling has gotten much less frequent nowadays. It seems like she's pretty feeble nowadays. Chris is just as scared of Barb as he used to be though. I don't think he realizes how much power he has over Barb nowadays.

They're really physically affectionate in a strange way. Chris is pretty touchy feely with women because of habits he learned by spending time with Barb.<ref name=qualified>https://web.archive.org/web/20210906155444/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/is-chris-really-qualified-to-be-caring-for-barb.16435/page-4</ref>}}

After Bob died, Barb's abuse of Chris escalated. She treated him as a slave and forced him to be on-call at all times. Around [[2013]], she forced Chris to move out of his bedroom, specifically so she could bark orders at him more efficiently, by throwing a tantrum and wrecking his possessions.

{{quoteboxgreen|a few months to a year before the fire, Chris stopped being permitted to sleep separately from Barb, in his bedroom. He had to sleep closer to Barb, because she needed to be able to yell for him to go to [[sheetz]] and buy her crap, and he wasn't able to hear her up in his bedroom. He kind of tried to resist at first, but then she got super pissed and threw a tantrum. She wrecked his room and like flipped everything over because he was trying to sleep on his own.<ref name=qualified/>}}

===Financial exploitation===
{{quote|she is also being Very Annoying. “Christine, Let’s put this random good item on eBay. I REALLY Need the Money for not only my bill payments, but also, we need more food here. I am greedy too.”

“OH! You sold something of Yours? I Want $50 From That”, she is constantly pestering and bugging me. Nowadays, Nearly every time she comes downstairs to talk or chill, my Impulsive, Subconscious feeling of her presence is Cringe and “Oh, No! She’s gonna Bug Me Again of the Da** Finances Again!”|Chris<ref>[[September 2018 social media posts]]</ref>}}

===Pampering===
{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his {{w|Oedipus complex}}.<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Yes, dear.|Chris, addressing Barb<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]</ref>}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz.
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|The second page.
</gallery>
</center>

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|[[Affair with Mother|Horrifyingly qualifies as foreshadowing.]]]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the manifestation of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment. A less subtle case of foreshadowing.]]

While both of Chris's parents are largely responsible for his current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Senior Prom|senior prom]].

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned permanently, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she is probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it was possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch a Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''was not'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused is not that he is an absent-minded, slothful buffoon, but that he is a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she did not raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

===Spooning===
{{quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.|[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|One result of Barb's parenting choices, as explained by Chris in August 2016.]]
}}

To cap off their relationship, Chris revealed in private conversations with multiple people that Barb has spooned with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

From [[Arthur Spatchcock]], on Chris sleeping with his mother:

{{quoteboxred|Story time, kids. Now most of us are aware of the fire; how Barb and Chris were displaced for some time while the house was getting renovated. You know how Chris was all whiny about his legos, right? Some getting melted, shit like that...well he kind of left out that his own bed was ruined as well given it had years of grease soaked into it because not bathing is so chic in his eyes. So when they got back home Chris didn't have his own bed anymore so he was sharing one with Barb instead. This came with the horrifying addendum that Barb wanted to spoon with him; I don't know if he was little spoon or big spoon but I know she was unimpressed and one night just unloaded on him angrily enough that Chris decided to get his own bed with his own money. So it goes without saying that from the time Chris and Barb got back home [[DStecks|until he got that grand]] he was sleeping in the same bed as his mother.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20190423212237/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-4-11-e-begging-intensifies.19356/page-5</ref>}}

In August 2016, the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] observed Chris and Barb in public during a court hearing:<ref>[[26 December 2014]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Barb and Chris are way too physically intimate. It's one thing to describe their creepy relationship, it's quite another to watch it IRL. They hold hands and Chris is always putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulders sensually. That's shit I'd do to someone I'd want to bang. Not a family member. It's weird.}}

{{quote|I am not a "Bates". OMG.|Chris, in denial<ref>[[Misc texts]]</ref>}}

Barb's habit of cuddling with Chris had been going on since Bob was alive, and he knew of it, but, due to Barb's manipulation, he was not able to stop her.<ref>http://archive.is/zwWV9</ref> In [[August 2016]], Chris [[Honest content|admitted]] to having [[Chris and sex#Dreams of sex with Barb|incestuous fantasies about Barb]], prompting further analysis of their uncomfortably intimate relationship. Chris sometimes refers to her as [[Darling|"dear" or "darling"]], as he usually does for [[DoopieDoOver|would-be sweethearts]]. In his [[Twitch#CLog 04172018 - Buy My Toys|April 2018 Twitch stream]], when Chris got his mother to reluctantly say "[[Random-access humor|turn me loose, you silly goose]]" after hugging him, he commented that she "used to do that more [[Chris and English|flirtingly]]".

Throughout 2021, Chris was feeling serveral instances of sexual frustration, hitting on [[MKRNightVee|several]] [[Annie Ikenberry|women]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|of]] [[The Suitress|interest]]. It has gotten to the point where Chris would release all of this sexual tension on Barbara in mid June, where he would continuously have sexual intercourse with her every three days. The context in which this has all happened is hazy at best, as information on the affair primarily came from an [[Incest Call|infamous call]] where he describes incestuous acts, and a few leaked chats Chris had with people. Throughout his affair with Barbara, Chris would hint at having such an affair online, calling Barbara a "sweetheart over 50". Sometime after [[the Suitress]] had leaked a chunk of the call on a Discord Server, which would soon after be posted onto various websites by her friends, several concerned observers wold contact authorities about the affair, leading to his arrest.

==Health problems==
{{protip|Despite being heavily speculated by Christorians, it is not actually known if Barb has dementia or some other degenerative brain disease. It is speculated that she might even be deliberately faking it in videos to garner sympathy.}}

===Mental===
Barb is understood by most to be a highly unstable woman, and worryingly, many of her behaviors can also be observed in Chris. Many believe her to be selfish and extremely narcissistic, on account of her baseless belief that she is [[Daniel Weston|descended from]] [[Anne Boleyn|Tudor high nobility]], and the pathological manner in which she lies and assigns blame to others, even in instances where the fault clearly lies with her. All of these traits are shared by Chris, with Barb's apparent encouragement. Additionally, many aspects of her relationship with Chris are consistent with [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112020245/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ narcissistic motherhood], which is a fascinating, but complex, a topic too lengthy to be discussed in detail here. Although Chris seems to be her [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112024302/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/golden-child-and-scapegoat/ "golden child"], she does not shy from mistreating him if he displeases her. This can be seen in an email to [[Jackie]] from May 2011; Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and [[Death threats|threatening to kill him]].<ref name="jackie26"></ref>

Aside from her narcissism, Barb is also infamous to Christorians for her hoarding. During Chris's youth, she would create piles of clothes as tall as her son.<ref name=younger></ref> Chris has labelled her a "pack rat",<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> and on more than one occasion has indicated his displeasure at her hoarding and the consequent state of [[14 Branchland Court|their house]], although neither he nor Bob are known to have ever seriously challenged it. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, particularly from Goodwill, which, by [[2009]], had rendered the living room uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, ostensibly due to the conditions in the Chandler household.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> The situation did not improve after Bob's passing, either. A [[Tour of Chris's House II|second house tour video]] made by Chris in [[2013]] revealed that Barb's hoarding had gotten severe enough to render entire rooms completely inaccessible, with some rooms literally full of stuff to within inches of the ceiling, and others reduced to crevices carved into walls of junk.

Barb's hoarding was predicted by many to lead to disaster, and finally did on [[2014 house fire|10 January 2014]], when Chris accidentally started a house fire in the morning while trying to brew coffee in the bathroom, because the kitchen had been among the rooms blocked off by Barb's junk. Naturally, Barb's hoard provided ample kindling for the fire, and the house was severely damaged before the fire could be contained. In fact, given the state of the house in the second tour video, it's surprising that Chris and Barb were able to escape. Unsurprising, however, is the fact that one of the Chandlers' remaining cats died in the blaze, and one of the firefighters sent to the scene also suffered unspecified injuries.

While the Chandlers [[Rental House|relocated]], pending repairs to their home, Barb's stuff went into storage. When repairs were completed a year later, Barb had all of it moved back to 14 Branchland Court, and is not known to have disposed of any of it, even though, by all accounts, most of what she and Chris were able to salvage is either fire, smoke or water damaged, rendering it completely useless. This was confirmed in April 2017, when Chris mentioned the laundry room contained a "mountain pile" of 20-40 bags of dirty, damaged clothing that had not been washed since the fire occurred.<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Offering The Classic shirt for $12,000 minimum]]</ref>

Barb has also been long speculated to suffer from a form of dementia due to later video appearances (mostly begging videos) showing her as struggling with forming sentences without a degree of prompting by Chris. Some initially speculated that Chris and Barb were taking advantage of her feeble, elderly state for the purpose of emotionally manipulating their audience into giving them more donations out of pity, as there were other videos where Barb appeared to be more cognizant and seemed to be able to handle her own finances to some degree. It was suggested by some with close knowledge of Chris, such as [[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Marvin]], that ''she'' was the one who encouraged him to make the videos with her in it.

However, in light of the [[Chris and sex#Incest|incest]] situation, in which Chris noted that she seemed "partially confused" on at least one of the occasions that he jumped her bones, how much of her situation was an act (presuming if any of it was) and how much is real has been called into question. Barb was evaluated at a hospital after being separated from her son and was able to return to her home after he was incarcerated, though it should still be noted that the bar for being deemed qualified enough to take care of oneself is low. [[Fan visits#Barb Visit|A later visit by Chris's fans]], where Barb did not know that she was being recorded, may have demonstrated that she has a degree of difficulty with cognitive function, or at least that she suffers from hearing loss. This would also somewhat explain the reason behind the [[November 2021]] traffic collision that she was involved in, where she failed to yield the right-of-way and got T-Boned by a tractor-trailer on the driver's side.<ref>[[:File:2002DodgeCaravanCrashRecord2.jpg]]</ref> Since then, she's presumably had to rely on senior caregivers and extended family to live off of since [[Chris|her youngest]] is too preoccupied with [[Jail Saga|other matters]] to take care of her.<ref>[[Jail_Letter_-_27_November_2021#cite_note-2]]</ref>

===Weight===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

Like Chris, Barbara was [[obesity|obese]] at the time of his discovery by the internet. As late as the 1990s, Barbara was reasonably slim, but she, along with Chris, ballooned out as the 2000s rolled along, to the point of resembling an American {{w|Rose West}}. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[Chris and stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

However, according to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

This has continued into her old age. When she attended Chris's [[26 December 2014|court hearings]] throughout [[2015]], Christorians in attendance invariably noted that although she has lost weight, she appears to have low muscle mass; probably due to her sedentary lifestyle. In particular, at [[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing|his last hearing]], it was noted that Barb appeared to be growing increasingly frail and possibly senile, as she did not present as very responsive, and appeared much more submissive to Chris than she has otherwise been known to be. Chris also reportedly got short with her due to her poor hearing.

In 2018, Chris decided to cash in on the Snorlax joke, claiming that his mother found it funny. He listed a plush Snorlax for sale on [[eBay]], at $200.

{{quote|Hey, Everyone! Those in the meme-know: the times when my mother used to be large and lazy, everyone called her a Snorlax. Well, Barbara likes the joke too, and can laugh it off as she is doing a lot better these days. So, one time only, she signed a Snorlax Plush, and YOU can own it; a 20% More Awesome Collectible. A personal Certificate or Letter of Authenticity will be included. Thank you.}}

<center>
<gallery>
Cashinginsnorlax.png
Snorlax1.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==="Holey buttocks"===
In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks". It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it hardly sounds pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the [[Financhu_Crisis|low finances]] and shit!!!". The consensus was that the so-called "holey buttocks" were, in fact, lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites, rather than flies, that have burrowed into her prodigious posterior. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive by parasites other than Chris, her child whines about having to take care of her.

===Dental===
In August 2014, Chris begged for money on [[Facebook]], supposedly to pay [[List of toys|dental fees]], as he claimed his mother had cavities in her teeth that needed treatment. In July 2016, Barb herself begged for money.<ref>[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]</ref> Chris and Barb restarted begging for [[Lego|dental]] money in early 2018.

===Hearing loss===
During Chris's 2014 court hearing for [[pepper spray]]ing a [[GameStop]] employee, [[Marvin]] was in attendance and observed Chris imply that Barb had hearing loss.<ref>[[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing]]</ref>

{{quote|After a bit, the PD went up to the judge and they called Chris up. Chris starts getting impatient with Barb. He said something like "are your ears clogged up??" and then "wanna follow me so you can hear what's going on?" Then she got up and trundled up there to accompany Chris.|Marvin}}

On 20 September 2021, Reddit user e1ectricthunder visited [[14 Branchland Court]] and had a brief conversation with Barb, during which Barb had difficulty understanding what was being said.<ref>[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref>

===Memory loss===
In the [[July 2021]] [[Incest Texts]], Chris claimed that Barb has memory problems (and that his incestuous acts were helping to heal her).

{{quote|She has had memory problems at time beforehand, yes, but she is being better stimulated in her mind and soul, and it Really Shows! Her mental processing speed is even going back up.|Chris}}

===Aging===
{{quote|They treat, they treat you very badly in there. She, she would, she, she, she would never want me to put her into a home, and I would not do that.|Chris, August 2014<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

[[File:Barb reacts to Quinn.jpg|thumb|200px|Barb, aged 76, tissue in hand, comforting Chris after [[Jessica Quinn]] broke up with him.]]

In November 2015, [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]] was uploaded to YouTube. The video is a plea for [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "her time runs out", even though the latter two are not Barb's progeny.

On 13 July 2016, Barb unexpectedly starred in [[Donations Further Requested, Please|one of Chris's e-begging videos]]. In the minute-long video, she speaks slowly and almost inaudibly, hardly moving or blinking for the entirety of the video. While some have voiced concerns that this may be an early sign of dementia, it is just as likely that Barb, being a manipulative narcissist, was putting on an act for money. She has since re-appeared in numerous other e-begging videos from Chris, including multiple in [[August 2018]]; her appearance is frail and quite frazzled, and her sentences are often punctuated with tons of "ums" and "uhs", along with extended pauses.

[[File:Barbovertime.gif|left]]
[[File:Our signatures00001.png |thumb|right|Barb and Chris in March 2018, the former wearing the [[$400 gold necklace]].]]
In August 2016, [[Anna McLerran]] posted a photo on Facebook of herself and Barb together.<ref>[[:File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.]]</ref> In it, Barb appears to have aged significantly since her last appearance in the "Donations Further Requested, Please" video.

In November 2016, Barb escaped injury when she slipped and fell.<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Barb slips and falls]]</ref>

Chris has been increasingly tasked with helping Barb around the house in her elderly age. He stated in April 2017 that he was taking caregiving classes.<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]]</ref> Barb is seen in [[Minor Update, Handouts!]], a begging video, in which Chris demands money because Barb drinks costly "meal replacement shakes", possibly referring to a drink such as Ensure.
{{clear}}

===Other===
In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with {{w|colitis}}, a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201009073942/https://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied the rumor.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

On 23 August 2013, Chris claimed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was, or what kind of treatment Barb received.

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]] and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Financial problems==
[[File:Barb's blankets ebay listings photos 01.jpg |Barb advertising blankets for sale in summer 2018.|thumb|250px]]

Barb lives off social security ({{w|Retirement Insurance Benefits}}) and a small pension from her old job; about $14,000 a year.<ref>https://archive.md/DLyOa</ref>

In 2016, Barb was sued by a Discover bank in Norfolk for not paying [[debt]]s. This came to light on [[March 2016|March 14]], [[2016]], when sharp-eyed [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwis]] noticed that she had a hearing on March 16. Since grave neglect of her debt was likely the cause of her being taken to court, it was widely assumed that she would ignore the summons too. Instead, once the court records were updated, many were surprised to see that not only had Barb attended, but she had represented herself, too. Equally unsurprisingly, this bold move failed to pay off, and Barb was still sentenced to pay $4,706.93.<ref>[[:File:Barb discover bank result.png]]</ref>

Five months later, Barb was sued again, this time by Capital One, for the same reason. The hearing in September resulted in a Default Judgement against Barb, meaning that she did not bother attending. She owes Capital One $15,906.99.<ref>[[:File:Barb vs Capital One Bank result.png]]</ref>

Her out-of-control debt was the catalyst for the [[Financhu Crisis]] of 2016.

In June through July of that year, Barb appeared in three videos:

*[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]
*[[Donations Requested, Please]]
*[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]

In the videos, she and Chris beg for donations, claiming to need money for her asthma medication and dental work (although they receive a combined amount of $2,500 per month from the government<ref>[[Chris and money#But wait, Chris isn't employed!]]</ref> and their costly hoards are clearly visible behind them). See the Appearances section for more appearances by Barb.

She has failed to take accountability for ruining the family's finances, trying to pin the blame on Chris,<ref>[[Patreon announcement]]</ref> even though her known debt of over $20,000 is much larger than Chris's.

She and Chris had an inheritance from Bob worth "tens of thousands of dollars" when he passed away, but Barb decided to frivolously spend it on [[Rob Bell]] in an attempt to gain exoneration for her [[assault and battery]] charge.

In summer 2018, she joined forces with Chris in selling stuff on [[eBay]], including items from her hoard and her autographs, which some fans bought.

==Appearances==

===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|200px|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

In the 2015 revisions to [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris wrote out Bianca's character and replaced her with his mother.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [https://web.archive.org/web/20130831123750/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go to that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

[[File:Chandlers & Sonichus.jpg|200px|thumb|left]]

In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Barb is photoshopped into a "family photo" alongside Chris, Bob and the various Chus.

[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|In ''Sonichu'' #12.]]

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], Barb is in a set of pages that is a cross between Chris writing an autobiographical account of himself coming out as a tomgirl to his parents and a tribute to his late father.

Due to Chris's Oedipal complex, Barb is depicted as much more youthful than Bob, even though she was nearly 70 at the time. She is also drawn as being freakishly tall compared to Chris and Bob, despite being shorter than both in real life, though this may just be Chris's inability to keep his characters properly proportioned at work. Barb expresses surprise at her son's announcement on being trans. Chris states that she was "hesitant for a long while", but "got used to my subtle and more changes".

This is a drastic understatement, as the real-life Barb tried to stop his [[tomgirl]] lifestyle in ways including suicide threats, guilt trips (by claiming that she was worried Chris would kill her), paying him to stop cross-dressing, and even ordering him to submit to a haircut. If her attitude towards him cooled, it was only out of resignation rather than acceptance. Evidence of this is when she became angry with him again after finding out that he had successfully changed his name in 2016.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210802010714/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-6-11-cwcville-shopping-is-on-vacation.21491/page-5</ref>

[[File:Chandler family as ponies.png|200px|thumb|left|Barb, pictured at left, as ''Sugar Darling'', in a [[My Little Pony|MLP]]-inspired drawing from [[August 2017]].]]

In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as [[My Little Pony]] characters, saying they will make further appearances in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]].

{{clear}}

===As toys===
<center><gallery>
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form.
File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|Barb [[Amiibo]], complete with cleavage, which Chris offered for sale on [[Etsy]] in [[November 2015]].
File:Barb drawing Nov. '15.jpg|Promo drawing for the Amiibo.
File:Barbara Anne Rosechu TSSSF card.png|As a [[TSSSF]] card. Note that Chris calls her a "redneck tomboy" and her power is to steal a shipping partner.
</gallery></center>

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming [[Chris's room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now".
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in several videos: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two decade-old videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas. Another video of her was recorded by a [[troll]] as she and Chris left court after his hearing in February 2015.

She has most frequently appeared during the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help|Two more]] [[Donations Requested, Please|videos]] were released June 2016 showing Chris begging for donations to buy asthma pills for Barbara. Barbara is shown practically dead in both of these videos so [[Chris and Death|god only knows what will happen in the near future.]]

In a [[Donations Further Requested, Please|video]] released on 13 July 2016, Barbara joins her son in shamelessly e-begging. Her voice tired and hoarse, mouth agape, she stares directly into the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

She resumed begging in a [[EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE|video]] from April 2017, in which she wears a [[$400 gold necklace]] while asking Chris's audience to give him $1,000 in exchange for his old [[Stamps|stamp album]].

She next appeared in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]], when she walked in while Chris was recording.

After more uploads from Chris, Barb starred in another begging video uploaded on 24 May 2017, titled [[We Said Donations No Less than $1 00, US, Please]]. Chris removed the video the next day after people threatened to report him for elder abuse.

After the last failed attempt of getting donations, Barb and Chris engaged in yet another begging video on 16 June 2017, titled [[We need immediate funds, please]]. Ironically, she wore both the [[$400 gold necklace]] and a pearl necklace.

Almost a month had passed, without any appearances from Barb. With Chris getting decent amounts of funds from his [[Patreon]] account, there no longer seemed to be a desire to beg. On 14 July 2017, she makes a small voice-only cameo in a [[Soda Awawawawa Puccho Candy Response]], screaming at him for not closing the front door. She also comments in [[Solar Eclipse Vlogs]], asking Chris if he's ready to go back inside after the eclipse ends.

Barb's first appearance on-video in 2018 was in [[Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)]]. She appeared a couple of weeks later in [[Our signatures]] to demonstrate that her signature, a key selling point in the comic sales, was real. On 9 April, Barb appeared for the seventh time during the Financhu Crisis to beg in [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.]]

On 16 April, a [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests|bizarre video of a few seconds of Barb standing in a doorway]] was posted to the [[CWCki Club]]. On the 17th, she appeared as a guest on Chris's [[Twitch]] stream.

On 8 May, Barb appeared in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Two days later, Barb appeared in [[May 2018 Paid Video Requests|paid videos giving shout-outs to school shooters Nicholas Cruz and Adam Lanza]].

She watched Chris spray-paint his shoes (and his bedroom carpet) in [[Shoe Colouring]], sitting in the same room with poor ventilation.

In summer 2018, she appears in multiple videos to promote her partnership with Chris's eBay business: [[My Mother WORKED Hard, Spent Hard; Needs Money NOW.]], [[Barbara Chandler will be making out autographed photos and posters.]] and [[Barbara’s Blankets]]. She then begged for her car payment money in [[Mother needs a car payment]].

[[Barb confirms she isn't dead]] was her next appearance, a rare non-begging video.

Chris (possessed by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]) got Barb to appear on camera in [[Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]] (12 June 2020).

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Barbarafamilycensus1950.png|Barb and her family, 1950 census.
Image:Babs1956.PNG|Barb's 8th grade (or "Pre-Freshman") photo.
Image:Babs1957.PNG|Barb's freshman photo from high school.
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great-great-grandparents.
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when ''[[The Simpsons]]'' went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pal]]s, at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
Image:Barb 2016.JPG|During 2016.
File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.
File:Chandlers.Png|Barb and Chris. Barb is interrupting Chris during a live [[YouTube]] stream.
File:Certificate of Authenticity with Barb's signature.jpg|Barb's signature on a Certificate of Authenticity, included with [[2018 Sales Listings|the purchase of one of Cole's comics]].
Barb autograph photo listing.jpg|Barb with an autographed photo of herself.
File:Chris's 37th birthday 2.jpg|Barb during Chris's 37th birthday.
File:BarbPhoto20Aug.jpg|[[August 2019]].
File:Barb 11-19-2019.jpg|Barb in [[November 2019]].
File:Barbjune2020.jpg|Barb during [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|a livestream]] in [[June 2020]]
File:Barb-Instagram-4.jpg|"And Barbara Anne Weston Chandler [[Chris and reality|still looks good for her wise age]]. [[May 2021|#happymothersday2021]]"
File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|Barb in [[July 2021]], showing off her new haircut [[July_2021_social_media_posts#Barbie_Chan|done by none other than Chris]]. [[Affair with Mother|Look at the fear in her eyes.]]
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[Affair with Mother]]
*[[Bob Chandler]]

{{References}}

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> (dead link)

{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{IncestSaga}}
{{Love quest}}
{{People}}
{{articleofthenow}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:People Chris has had Sex with]]

File:Barbarafamilycensus1950.png

2022-04-02T18:37:38Z

Rtucker913: Barb and her family in the 1950 US census. Barbara A. Weston Gender: Female Age: 8 Never married State born: Virginia Lives on farm: Yes

== Summary ==
Barb and her family in the 1950 US census.

Barbara A. Weston
Gender: Female
Age: 8
Never married
State born: Virginia
Lives on farm: Yes

Jail Saga

2021-12-15T19:13:11Z

Rtucker913:

{{Ongoing}}
[[File:2021 Chris Chan mugshot.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris's mugshot for his [[incest]] charge, Henrico County Sheriff's Office.<ref name=sun/>]]

Following allegations in late [[July 2021|July]] and the eventual confirmation that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] had committed [[incest]] with [[Barb]], hundreds of people contacted the Greene County police, and authorities conducted a welfare check on the Chandler home, issuing an Emergency Protective Order on [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] the following day (essentially a temporary week-long restraining order). Chris was made temporarily homeless, and stayed at the Regency Inn Richmond for the meantime. Chris was '''arrested on 1 [[August 2021]]''', outside of the Inn. The arrest was captured live on stream by several [[Post-Merge_Era#Ethan_Ralph|onlookers.]] Surprisingly, given Chris's past history with [[Chris and the law|the law]], he made no attempt to resist arrest, and was cooperative with police.

Despite the name, Chris has not yet been sent to prison (as opposed to jail), though it seems inevitable that he will end up there. As of writing, Chris is currently being held at the Central Virginia Regional Jail and is currently awaiting trial for the charge of incest, as well as pending charges yet to be identified.<ref name="press release"/> He was arraigned on 5 August 2021 and held without bond pending a mental health evaluation until 3 February.<ref name=ContinuanceDate>{{Cite farms|thread=105669|title=11/18/2021 - Court case continued into the new year}}</ref> Since then, Chris's only contact to the outside world has been [[Jail letters|a series of letters addressed to a variety of people]], ranging from people Chris knows or correspondence to his [[fans]].

==Background==
{{See also|Incest}}

It is a [[Chris and the law|criminal offense]] in Virginia to engage in incest - sexual activities between a parent and a child are a class 5 felony, punishable on indictment by up to 10 years incarceration.<ref name=kvia>[https://kvia.com/news/us-world/2021/08/10/transgender-autistic-internet-personality-chris-chan-held-without-bond-in-mens-jail-on-incest-charge-involving-senile-mom/ Transgender, autistic internet personality Chris Chan held without bond in men's jail on incest charge involving senile mom]</ref>

In the early morning of 28 July 2021, Chris discussed having sex with his mother in a call and text messages with [[Isabella Loretta Janke]]. On the night of 29 July, the [[Suitress]] leaked the files. The next morning, as reports poured in, Greene County Police visited [[14 Branchland Court]] for a [[Welfare check|wellness check]].<ref name=sun/> They issued Chris an Emergency Protective Order, forbidding contact between him and Barbara, and by extension, preventing him from remaining at her residence until 5 August. Meanwhile, Barbara was relocated to a hospital for a senior care inspection.<ref name=removed>{{Cite farms
| thread = 96559
| title = Chris-Chan incest leak / Chris has been removed from 14 Branchland Court
| wayback = 20211006023749
}}</ref>

As a result of the protection order levied against Chris, he was without a home for the time being. Due to [[Financhu Crisis|ongoing financial problems]], Chris could not afford a hotel. [[Null]] advised him to sleep in [[Son-Chu#Barb's Dodge Caravan|his van]] for one night, noting that Chris would have have the proceeds of Chris's GoFundMe (originally intended for Chris's trip to [[Everfree Northwest]]) transferred to his bank account the following day. Initial plans to stay with [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom]] were disrupted after their invitation was rescinded - likely while he was already on the way to their home.<ref name=letter>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021]]</ref>{{refn|
Chris told Null that after spending the night in his car, he would go to a mall as soon as it opened in the morning and loiter there.<ref name=NullTexts/> The two malls he mentioned, [[Leonard Bearstein|Regency Mall]] and Chesterfield Towne Center, are in [[Richmond]].<ref>{{w|Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)}} and {{w|Chesterfield Towne Center}} on Wikipedia</ref> This suggests that [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom]], who live in Richmond's southwest suburbs,<ref>[[Miyamoto emails#Please Give Me $800|Chris leaks the Ashbys' address to Miyamoto-san]]</ref> did not rescind their invitation until he had actually gotten near their home.}}

On 30th of July, Everfree Northwest posted that "appropriate action to protect the vulnerable" will be taken; while not naming Chris, it is suspected that that this tweet refers to the revocation of Chris's invitation to the convention,<ref>[[:File:EverfreeNorthwestBansChris.jpg|Everfree Northwest tweet]]</ref> which Null subsequently confirmed. Due to the disturbing and lurid nature of the allegations, hashtags and topics such as #ChrisChan and #CHRISCHANDIDWHAT trended on Twitter, reaching 4th overall trend on July 30th,<ref>[https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/who-chris-chan-sonichu-comic-creator-leaves-twitter-scandalized-latest-trend Who is Chris Chan? Sonichu comic creator leaves Twitter scandalized with latest trend]</ref> exposing a large number of otherwise uninvolved individuals to the story of Chris-Chan causing the [[Orbiter Wave]].

On 31 July, Null, who had access to Chris's email (with Chris's permission) since the [[Guard Dogs]] Saga,<ref name="marvinqna">[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-chris-chan-extortionists.45366/post-3553571 Marvin answers questions regarding OPERATION: Kingsnake]</ref><ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/operation-kingsnake.44345/ OPERATION: Kingsnake]</ref> found that Chris had received $750.00 from Barb's bank account, meaning he had either contacted Barb or gained access to Barb's bank account himself, either of which would violate the emergency protection order. When confronted, Chris initially denied the accusation, claiming he had "managed to find blessings in the minimum abundance needed." However, upon further questioning he confirmed that he had had access to Barb's account for some time, contrary to Null's previous assumption that Barb had been in control of Chris's finances and not vice versa. Upset by Chris embezzling from his mother and lying to cover it up, Null finally cut all contact with him, reported the theft to authorities, and canceled the transfer of the GoFundMe money, arranging for it to be refunded to the donors.<ref name=NullTexts>[[Incest fallout chat leaks#Chris takes money from Barb]]</ref>

==Arrest==
{{quote|I am [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], your [[Messiah complex|Goddess]] [[CPU Blue Heart|Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] and everybody. I keep in good faith that everything is going to work out.|Chris, while being arrested.<ref name=video>[[#Video|Video of Chris's arrest filmed by Killstream crew]]</ref>}}
[[File:Arrestchu.jpeg|thumb|500px|"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."]]
On the evening of 31 July, Reddit user ''[[Chrisisaman]]'' located [[Son-chu]] at the Regency Inn in [[Richmond]], confirming that Chris was in the city and that he would be spending time in a motel.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210801045236/https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/ovlys1/location_confirmed_10_minutes_ago/ Archived Reddit post confirming Chris's location]</ref> The next day, [[Post-Merge Era|a number of people]] attempted to observe or contact Chris there. Observers noticed police cars stationed at the motel, but because the place was known to have a seedy reputation, it was not obvious if they were there for Chris or for some other reason. These cop cars eventually left without arresting Chris.

The most significant of the observers was YouTuber [[Ethan Ralph]] who livestreamed himself and his friends [[Ween|driving to the motel to meet Chris]]. The group [[Live Reading of SNT Vs Sonichu, Part 2|ordered a pizza]] in the hopes of luring him out, but this was unsuccessful - Chris was apparently too busy messaging [[Sean Walker]].{{refn|The time Ralph was knocking on Chris's door - about 3:01 PM<ref name=snippet/> - is almost exactly the same as the timestamps on Chris's final messages to Sean Walker - 3:10 PM.<ref>[[Sean Walker Discord DMs#Chris's final messages]]</ref>}} They then went about knocking on every door on the second floor (Chris had previously been filmed walking along the second floor balcony, suggesting that was where he was staying), but this was fruitless as well, and only led to the menagerie being ordered to leave by a [[Jerkop|motel employee]].<ref name=snippet>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/8-1-21-ethan-ralph-tries-to-drag-chris-chan-to-his-house.96772/post-9596798 Archived stream snippet]</ref>

Not giving up, the group went to the [[Wikipedia:Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)|Regency Mall]] (of [[Leonard Bearstein|'the bear']] fame) across the street, following (incorrect) speculation that Chris might be there if not in his room. While livestreaming at the mall they had an encounter with a police officer, who would happen to be one of the officers who arrested Chris (as Ethan acknowledges during the arrest).

Later that afternoon, Ralph was tipped off that four police cars had shown up at the motel. At around 6:00 PM, he got back just in time to film two Henrico County police officers perp-walking Chris down from his room, streaming the whole debacle for a live audience of over 3,000 viewers. While the police talked to Chris, Ralph sporadically yelled questions and comments, to which Chris occasionally responded.

Unlike Chris's previous run-ins with the law, he remained mostly calm and compliant during the arrest (possibly due to Walker having [[Sean Walker Discord DMs#Discussing the incest fallout|advised him the previous day]] to co-operate with the police in the event of his being arrested), though he rambled about the [[Dimensional Merge]] to both the police and Ralph's crew, promising that the Merge was in fact happening right at that moment. The police then loaded Chris into a squad car and left without answering Ralph's questions.<ref name=video/> An additional POV shot filmed by an anonymous onlooker showed Chris climbing directly into the cop car - the last footage of Chris to date.

===Video===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris-Chan Arrested
| ytid = i2ELbb6svD4
| style = {{Tragedy|[[Chris and stress|My Baby Blue Arms]]}}, {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|[[Autism|Tumbling Down, Tumbling Down, Tumbling Down]]}}
| stardate = 1st [[August 2021]]
| saga = {{Incest|text}} {{Post-Merge|text}} {{Prison|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

===Transcript===
{{collapsible|state=mw-collapsed|Transcript|

''[Video begins with a shot of a neighboring car. A woman gets out of it with her phone. The song "Save Your Tears" by the Weeknd plays in background.]''

'''Girl''': Oh my god!

'''Ralph''': They're arresting her!

''[Ralph gets out of the car and walks toward the fence. The woman from earlier is now kneeling with her phone pointing at the motel. Ralph walks past her.]''

'''Ralph''': Sorry.

''[Camera zooms in on the motel, focusing on the second floor, where the police officers are walking Chris]''

'''Girl in background''': Oh my god!

'''Ralph''': Yeah, they're arresting Chris-Chan here at the hotel.

'''Chris''' (yelling): (unclear due to chatter) ...For the internet, do not record this!

'''Ralph''' (yelling): Chris-Chan, what's up! Killstream, baby! When you get out, let's do the Killstream! Look me up!

'''Guy in background''': Let the charges drop! It's all about [[Null|Joshua Conner Moon]]!

'''Ralph''': Tell 'em all about Josh Moon, that's who they want!

''[Bystanders start yelling]''

'''Girl in background''': Give it up, Chris-Chan!

'''Guy in background''': Give him up... save yourself, girl!

'''Another guy in background''': Magi-Chan will help you!

'''Third guy in background''': You're beautiful!

'''Ralph''': Look up Ethan Ralph, Killstream! I live here in Richmond, buddy!

'''Girl in background''': Go to church!

'''Ralph''': No, come to... come to the Killstream first!

''[As the cops walk Chris down the stairs, there is more yelling]''

'''Person below''': ETHAN I BOUGHT YOUR STICKER!

'''Ralph''': YEEEAH! What kind of shit is this? Holy shit! Oh my god, thank you!

''[The cops are now walking Chris past the motel entrance]''

'''Guy in background''': Got a (indistinct) here!

'''Girl in background''': Christian Weston Chandler, right here being...

''[Camera turns past a nearby building as Ralph runs toward the motel parking lot]''

'''Ralph''': Oh, shit, oh! You better hurry Jesse, you're missing out!

''[The camera now zooms in on Chris and three police officers, now standing outside a police car]''

'''Police officer''':...oh no, (indistinct) transport in the front...

''[One of the officers says something to Chris that cannot be heard, presumably asking for his name]''

'''Chris''': ...Chris-Chan, or Sonichu, as they know...

''[Camera freezes for a couple seconds]''

'''Girl in background''':...Chris. (indistinct) Bring 'em...

''[A fourth officer gets out of one of the police cars]''

'''Ralph''': Hey, officers, how's it going?

'''Police officer''': How you doing? I just saw you.

'''Ralph''': Yeah, that's right! That's you, oh my god!

'''Person in background''': Sorry about that, guys.

'''Ralph''': I told you!

'''Chris''': (indistinct) flying (?)...

'''Girl in background''': (To Ralph) Is the car unlocked?

'''Chris''': (indistinct) I am good like this!

'''Guy in background''': (To Chris) You are, you absolutely are!

'''Ralph''': Yeah, I think so. (To Chris) Yeah, you appear to be compliant.

'''Chris''': I am Chris-Chan Sonichu, your goddess Blue Heart, and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus and Rosechus]] and everybody.

'''Ralph''': Yeah, you're live to about 3,000 people right now, Christian!

'''Guy in background''': How do you plead?

'''Ralph''': Well don't...you're taking everything in stride, you said you're doing good?

'''Chris''' : Yeah. I keep a good faith everything is going to work out.

'''Ralph''': Doing good, feeling good?

'''Chris''' : Yep.

'''Ralph''': How's the last few days been? I know it's been pretty [[Stress|stressful]].

'''Chris''' : Bit stressful, but... I've taken it one moment at a time and...I've got my...I've got my loves.

'''Ralph''': Well that's good.

'''Guy in background''': Do you, like, Josh Moon, like, did you dirty?

''[An officer begins frisking Chris, and apparently finds something on his waistband]''

'''Chris''': (To officer) Oh, well, that's just the one thing, that's a pin. Feel free, just go ahead and take it out, it's a picture of Muffins from ''[[My Little Pony]]''.

'''Guy in background''': Your [[Love Quest]] is over, Chris!

'''Chris''': (To officer) I promise like...I was not (indistinct) to fall... it fell off my bag, I did not want to lose it. And please, I would like that in my collection. (indistinct)

'''Jesse''': Hey, Ethan!

'''Ralph''': What's up, Jesse?

'''Jesse''': How you doing?

'''Ralph''': Boy we almost missed it, huh?

''[Ralph and Jesse laugh]''

'''Jesse''': I was wandering around the mall.

''[The officer starts searching Chris's left side]''

'''Chris''': Well, heh. He's not offering me any options there...

'''Officer''': I'm just letting you know I'm... (indistinct)

'''Girl in background''': I literally ran out to get that (chuckles). This is nuts.

''[Someone makes a noise in the background]''

'''Jesse''': Christine, this man does want to help you.

'''Ralph''': Yeah, we were trying to get you on the show, but...look, when you get out, look me up, Killstream. I don't know if you know who I am or not.

'''Girl in background''': We're here to help you!

''[Indistinct yelling in background]''

'''Ralph''': We saw what Josh was doing to you, so we wanted to come try to talk to you.

''[The cop finishes his search]''

'''Police officer''': (To Chris) Do you have anything else on you?

'''Chris''': I have nothing else on me.

''[The police officer says something to Chris]''

'''Chris''': I understand. I have no weed, I have no drugs on (indistinct)... like I said, frisk me, there you go! (chuckles)

'''Ralph''': (Chuckles)

'''Chris''': [[Homos|That felt good]]!

'''Ralph''': (Laughs loudly)

'''Chris''': Thank you.

'''Police officer''': Alright, let's have a seat.

'''Jesse''': Christine, is the merge coming?

'''Ralph''': Aight...

'''Chris''': It's happening now, we're on the very last thread!

'''Ralph''': (talking over Chris) The Merge, it's happening right now, isn't it?

'''Girl in background''': It's happening right now, it is.

'''Chris''': We're living it!

''[Chris turns to the officers.]''

'''Chris''': (indistinct) ...Batman into a hero.

''[Chris sits down as one of the officers points into the back of the police car]''

'''Girl in background''': It's happening right now.

'''Guy in background''': Merge the dimensions, Chris!

'''Ralph''': Farewell, Chris Chan!

'''Girl in background''': (indistinct) The Dimensional Merge is happening right now, August 1, 2021.

''[Chris disappears into the back of the police car]''

[''End of relevant footage'']

}}

==Initial jail stay==
[[File:Henrico County Jail West.JPG|thumb|300px|Aerial view of Henrico County Jail West]]
[[File:Central Virginia Regional Jail.JPG|thumb|300px|Aerial view of Central Virginia Regional Jail]]
At 8:23 PM later that day, Chris was booked into Henrico County Jail West and held without bail.<ref name=charged/><ref name=sun>{{Cite web
| url = https://www.the-sun.com/news/3394847/chris-chan-sonichu-arrested-incest/
| autoarchive = 20210804202308
| title = Chris Chan arrested for ‘incest’ after claims Sonichu comic book creator sexually assaulted family member
| website = The Sun
}}</ref> On 2 August 2021, the Charlottesville CBS affiliate, CBS 19, reported on the case, following the release of a press release from the Greene County Sheriff's Department indicating that Chris had been moved to [[Chris's homes#Central Virginia Regional Jail|Central Virginia Regional Jail]], which serves several rural counties including Greene County.<ref name="press release">Press release on [https://www.cbs19news.com/story/44432363/suspect-arrested-in-sex-crimes-against-family-member-case CBS], [https://www.facebook.com/269663503100241/photos/a.398555170211073/4389133984486485/?type=3 Facebook]</ref>

Calls to the Sheriff's Office confirmed that Chris was being held on a charge of incest. Notably, the charge against Chris is listed on the Henrico Sheriff's Office website as "incest with own child or grandchild",<ref name=charged>[[:File:Charged.png]]</ref> presumably because "incest with own parent" charges are too uncommon to warrant an option for them in the software.<ref>{{Cite farms
|thread = 96776
|post = 9613612
|title = Chris - The Legal Issues - A Prosecutor's Perspective
|user = TherapyMan
|wayback = 20210804182815
}}</ref>

The record for Chris's custody status initially labelled him as female<ref>[[:File:Chris custody status female gender.png]]</ref> due to him having legally changed the gender marker on his driver's license in 2016.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref> It was claimed by sensationalist media that Chris would be housed in a female jail,<ref>https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9859653/Trans-YouTuber-Chris-Chan-39-filed-female-police-housed-women-inmates.html</ref><ref name=tucker>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9PW_XVGWHw Tucker Carlson discusses Chris-Chan]</ref> though this was not confirmed by official sources. The custody status record was updated to list Chris as male without explanation and he was placed in a corresponding facility.<ref name=InsiderGender>[https://www.insider.com/chris-chan-arrest-jail-transgender-trans-woman-men-male-incest-2021-8 After her arrest on an incest charge, Chris Chan is being categorized as male in jail despite being a trans woman]</ref> It is noted that transgender inmates in Virginia are usually only placed in the prison of their identified gender if they have received sex-change surgery,<ref>[https://richmond.com/news/virginia/transgender-prison-inmates-5-to-6-times-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-sexual-assault/article_79c231fd-4d27-5a38-bc48-500301794348.html Transgender prison inmates 5 to 6 times more likely to be victims of sexual assault in U.S., study says]</ref> which Chris has not. On 7 August 2021, conservative media host {{w|Tucker Carlson}} briefly talked about the discourse in a [[wikipedia:Fox News|Fox News]] segment, exposing millions of retired, right-wing boomers to Chris for the first time.<ref name=tucker></ref>

Many observers predicted Chris would not take to an extended jail stay well. However, on August 5, the jail's Captain Hoffman told news, "I've had an interaction with inmate Chandler and it's been fine. Everything is okay."<ref name=InsiderGender/> This surprising revelation could be explained by a [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021|letter]] Chris sent from jail in early November, which strongly implies that he has been placed in some form of protective custody to ensure his safety. A [[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021|previous letter]] he sent in early October confirms that he is being fed well and that he has been able to purchase minor luxuries from the jail's commissary including playing cards, earplugs and a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]].

==Legal proceedings and communications==
The case is being handled by the Greene County Juvenile and Domestic Relations court.<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref> Due to the sensitive nature of the court's cases, it is unknown what details will be publicly available.

=== First court appearance ===
[[File:HeilbergPortraitNew.jpg|200px|thumb|left|Chris's long-suffering lawyer, David Heilberg.]]
On 5 August 2021, Chris appeared before the court for the beginning of his arraignment, represented by Charlottesville public defender David Heilberg.<ref name=initial_trial/>

The attorney representing [[Greene County]] asked presiding judge David M. Barredo to deny Chris bond out of concern for "the community's safety and Ms. Chandler's safety." Chris reportedly interrupted the proceedings multiple times. He was chided by his attorney for shouting "[[Chris and his ego|I'm famous on the internet]]." He was sworn in to state his case for bond, but wasted his opportunity to speak by demanding to be allowed to pick up personal possessions first.<ref name=initial_trial>[https://dailyprogress.com/community/greenenews/news/internet-personality-chris-chan-in-court-on-incest-charge/article_eaa0710c-f492-11eb-bba8-7f35686d288a.html Internet personality "Chris-Chan" in court on incest charge] [https://web.archive.org/web/20210805180746/https://dailyprogress.com/community/greenenews/news/internet-personality-chris-chan-in-court-on-incest-charge/article_eaa0710c-f492-11eb-bba8-7f35686d288a.html (archive)]</ref>

Judge Barredo ordered Chris to be held without bond until the preliminary trial on 16 September, believing Chris posed a danger to both [[Barbara Chandler|society]] and himself. While Heilberg was informing the judge that he sought "[[Autism papers|evaluations]]" of Chris, Chris ''interrupted his own attorney'' by loudly stomping on the floor and demanding "[[List of toys|to get everything back home,]]” claiming "I won’t feel safe proceeding" until he could get the items back.<ref name=initial_trial/>

Judging by Chris's behavior, it can be inferred that Chris either did not fully understand or [[Chris and remorse|care about]] the seriousness of his charges and the possible [[Chris and negotiation|consequences]], or that he still expected to be saved by the [[Dimensional Merge]].

=== Continuance and letter from jail ===
{{Main|Jail Letter - 19 September 2021}}
[[File:Nullletter1.jpg|thumb|200px|The first page of Chris's letter.]]
Chris's next court appearance was to begin 16 [[September 2021]],<ref name=initial_trial/> but got a continuance before the hearing was even set to commence{{refn|The hearing was scheduled for 10:00 AM;<ref name=initial_trial/> news of the continuance broke at 8:31 AM.<ref name=time>{{Cite farms
| thread = 9-16-2021-court-case-gets-a-continuance.100315
| post = 9988888
| title = 9-16-21: Court Case Gets a Continuance
| autoarchive = 20211022184458
}}</ref>}} due to the defense requesting more time to evaluate Chris's [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental health]], giving him a brief respite.<ref name=ContinuanceReason>{{Cite farms
| thread = 9-16-2021-court-case-gets-a-continuance.100315
| post = 9990379
| title = 9-16-21: Court Case Gets a Continuance
| autoarchive = 20211022184106
}}</ref>

However, Chris, as always, managed to screw himself over where others failed. Three days later, Chris penned [[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|a bizarre letter]] directed to [[Null]] and defense lawyer David Heilberg, in which he defended [[incest]], ranted at Null for turning his back on Chris, and claimed to be [[Jesus Christ]] reincarnated, among other equally batshit statements.<ref name=letter/>

Chris evidently [[Honest content|never listened when he was given the right to remain silent]]. Before this point, while the prosecution had [[Incest Call|audio]] and screenshotted DMs of him confessing to the act, information collected from internet forums or leaked text messages can be unreliable in court.<ref>[https://www.mccarthyfingar.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/20120526100635-bar-journal-25-34.pdf A Primer and Problems in Admitting Electronic Records in Evidence at Trial and in Support of Motions for Summary Judgment]</ref> Chris's lawyer could have made the argument that he was coerced into saying those things ([[Chris apologizes to Gwen|which has happened before]]), or even argued that Chris's accounts were taken over by trolls, [[PS3|as they often are]]. These things could have gotten a potential jury to view Chris in a more favourable light and could also have secured Chris a lighter sentence, or even an innocent verdict if he could convince the court that he had [[Reality| simply imagined the whole thing.]]

With this open letter, however, Chris has shot both himself and his attorney in the foot. Any plans by Heilberg to make the trial an issue of mental health{{refn|After Chris's first court showing, Heilberg framed the case in these terms, telling media sources that his client was "legally disabled with mental health issues," and called Chris's online antics "a product of mental health issues causing misguided attention seeking and often provocative engagement with others."<ref name=MentalHealth>{{Cite web
| url = https://www.newsweek.com/chris-chans-lawyer-says-mental-health-issues-contributed-incest-charge-1617388
| title = Chris Chan's Lawyer Says 'Mental Health Issues' Contributed to Incest Charge
| last = Beresford
| first = Jack
| website = Newsweek
}}</ref>}} are going to be much more difficult now. In order for the insanity defense to be utilized, Heilberg would have had to make a convincing argument that Chris did not possess the criminal intent required for legal guilt due to his mental illness worsened by years of trolling clouding his judgement.<ref>[https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/insanity-plea Legal requirements for an Insanity Defense]</ref> Already difficult to pull off, Chris had gone ahead and made it near impossible by BOTH admitting to the crime and demonstrating that he was cognizant of his actions in writing.

=== More letters from jail ===
{{See also|Jail letters}}
In [[:Category:Jail Letters|additional correspondences from jail]], Chris provides brief updates on his current experiences and conditions in jail. He would also continue to double down on [[Chris and reality|his delusions]], threaten the weens to not steal things from his house, beg for money for both himself and Barbara, and demand his release from jail. In [[Jail Letter - 3 October 2021|one of these letters]] Chris rejects a fan's attempt to convert him to Islam. As with his previous replies, he draws comparisons between himself and Allah, and rants more about the [[Dimensional Merge]].

=== Second court appearance ===

Chris's second court appearance was scheduled for the 18th of [[November 2021|November]].<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref> Several fans attempted to attend this hearing, but were turned away by courthouse staff,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/qwr53j/tried_going_to_the_hearing_but_was_turned_away_by/</ref> as the hearing was closed at the request of Chris's lawyer.<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref>

Another continuance was granted, with the next hearing taking place after the new year, on 3 [[February 2022]],<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref> meaning Chris will spend the Thanksgiving, [[Christmas]], and New Years holidays behind bars. While it's too early to predict exactly what will happen next, it's generally safe to assume Chris has, with the various damning confessions he made in his [[Prison communications|various letters from jail]], has essentially given the state prosecution their guilty verdict gift-wrapped with a ribbon and bow.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu Saves Chris Chan from Prison to Fight Clyde Cash & Liquid Chris!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-BCDY1xWcUM}}
| stardate = 11 [[September 2021]]
| maker = sheWIND
| subject = Chris in jail
| type = Animation
| info = "Christine Weston Chandler, aka Chris Chan, mayor of Cwcville, is rescued by the demential merge after going to jail for hurting Barb by Sonichu to have a final battle against some of his strongest trolls, Clyde Cash and Liquid Chris!!"
}}

==See also==
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[26 December 2014]]
*[[Post-Merge Era]]

==References==

Truck Driver

2021-10-02T03:21:16Z

Rtucker913: /* Lyrics */

"'''Truck Driver'''" is the 4th track from ''[[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]'' by [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]. It is a cover of "[[Wikipedia:Running with Scissors (album)|Truck Drivin' Song]]" by [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|"Weird Al" Yankovic]].

Yankovic's original song is intended to be a humorous juxtaposition of a rugged male voice and themes about a profession typically associated with men contrasted with lyrics that suggest the protagonist is a woman or [[Tomgirl|transvestite.]] The [[Parody|comedy]] is likely over Chris's head, and the song was probably chosen as a proud anthem of his Tomgirl lifestyle.

== Audio ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Truck Driver
| ytid = Sg0YXdKOP7c
| stardate = [[November 2011]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}} {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[If You Were a Woman and I Was a Man]]
| next = [[Girls And Boys]]
}}

=== Lyrics ===
I'm drivin' a truck 
Drivin' a big ol' truck 
Pedal to the metal, hope I don't run out of luck 
Rollin' down the highway until the break of dawn 
Drivin' a truck with my high heels on 

My diesel rig is northward bound 
It's time to put that hammer down 
Just watchin' as the miles go flyin' by 
I'm ridin' twenty tons of steel 
But it's sure hard to hold the wheel 
While I'm waiting for my nails to dry

Oh, I always gotta check my lipstick in that rear view mirror 
And my pink angora sweater fits so tight 
I'm jammin' gears and haulin' freight 
Well, I sure hope my seams are straight 
Lord, don't let [[Kaka Makeup Basics|my mascara]] run tonight

Because I'm drivin' a truck 
Drivin' a big ol' truck 
[[Jerkops|Smokey's]] on my tail and my accelerator's stuck 
Got these eighteen wheels-a-rollin' until the break of dawn 
Drivin' a truck with my high heels on

Oh, I don't mind when my crotchless panties creep right up on me 
And my nipple rings don't bother me too much 
But when I hit those big speed bumps 
My darling little rhinestone pumps 
Keep slippin' off the mother-lovin' crutch

But still I'm drivin' a truck 
Drivin' a big ol' truck 
Headin' down the interstate, just tryin' to make a buck 
Wearin' feather boas with sequins and chiffon 
While I'm drivin' a truck with my high heels on

I'm drivin' a truck 
Drivin' a truck 
Got a load to carry and some eyebrows left to pluck 
And I'm late for my appointment down at my hair salon 
So I'll be drivin' a truck with my high heels on
{{The Tomgirls}}
[[Category:SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]
[[Category:Music]]

1980s

2021-09-20T02:35:42Z

Rtucker913: /* 1982 */

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Chris and his mom in the eighties.]]
[[Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|thumb|Baby Chris in '''1982''']]
[[Image:0002-1-Baby_Chris_and_Mommy.jpg|thumb|Baby Chris and Barbara.]]
[[File:Cwcbaby.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST BabyCWC]]
[[Image:0004-ChristopherDec1985.jpg|thumb|Chris and Barbara in '''1985'''.]]
[[File:Chris1985.png|thumb|Portrait of 3-year-old Chris ([[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]])]]
[[Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg|thumb|'''1986''']]
[[Image:0008-ChristopherShopping12-1986.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''1986'''.]]
[[Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg|thumb|'''1987''', Chris turns 5.]]
[[File:Dreaming studio.png|thumb|In '''1989''', Bob created the Dreaming Studio.]]
[[Image:0031-1-Chris_on_Pony.jpg|thumb|Poor pony.]]
[[Image:0031-EasterChristopher.jpg|thumb|Twenty years later, Chris himself would have a try at the [[Bunny Hop]].]]
{{Quote|Cute Little Boys and Girls grow up, and I was no exception.|Chris<ref>[[DVD Slideshow Transcripts]]</ref>}}

The '''1980s''' was a very eventful decade, known to most for [[Chris and fashion|neon colors]], [[Nintendo]]'s rise in the USA, the home [[computer]] revolution, [[Chris and music|synthesizers]], and [[Pmurt|Reagan]]. But to us, it's the decade when [[Christian Weston Chandler]] was born, under the name Christopher (his name wasn't changed until [[1994]]).

Source material referring to the 1980s is scarce, and this article is mostly based on statements made by Chris at a later age, and on image material. Being mute for most of the decade, Chris has few reliable memories of it. Chris would often indicate that his early childhood was filled with trouble. His true nostalgia sits mostly in the [[1990s]].

However, his [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|second album]] features a plethora of '80s music parodies, indicating he has some fondness for the decade, or at least likes its sound. He has also twice referenced being born in the '80s in his [[June 2021 social media posts]].

==1980==
The year [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] and [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] got married.

===Events of 1980===
* 1980 - [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] moves to California.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 1]]</ref> Whom he lived with is unclear, as he would turn 17 this year and was thus unable to legally live on his own unless he was emancipated.
* 1980 (sometime after 7 June) - Bob is transferred from [[Richmond]] to [[Charlottesville]].
* 5 March - [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] is inaugurated and opened to the public.
* 28 January - Bob divorces his first wife, Patricia Harley.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/interesting-info-about-chriss-family-particularly-their-parents.27521/]</ref>
* 7 June - Bob and Barbara get married.<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself#Family matters]]</ref><ref>[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]</ref> At this point they are still living in the [[Richmond]] area, specifically Chesterfield County (to which the Chandlers would later return in the [[1990s]])
* August - Bob receives two triple bypass operations.

==1981==
The last year of peace for Bob and Barbara Chandler. Unluckily for them, the happy couple filled their time with lots of unprotected love-making. During the second half on this year, Barbara would be pregnant.

===Events of 1981===
* 1981 - Cole joins the Rockin' Dogs.
* 26 May (approx.) - Bob and Barbara Chandler have sweaty old people sex. [[Christian Weston Chandler|Christopher Weston Chandler]] is conceived.
* Fall 1981 - Cole enters San Diego State University.
* 26 November (approx.) - Barbara's last chance to abort Chris.

==1982==
The year where it all began.

===Events of 1982===
* 24 February - Christopher Weston Chandler is born around 5:30 a.m. at {{w|Martha Jefferson Hospital}} in [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]].<ref name="WikiProfile">[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref>
* 24 February - Chris is brought back to the Chandler [[house]]hold in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]].<ref>According to Christian in the [[Song of Christian]] video.</ref>
* February/March - Chris's newborn portrait is taken.
* April - Chris allegedly speaks his first word: "[[Niggos|monkey]]".<ref name="Song and Wikipedia">[[Song of Christian]] and [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>
* 4 September - [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s 55th birthday.
* Autumn - A photo is taken of Chris and his mother on their front lawn.
* 1 October - [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]]'s 41st birthday.
* 13 October - [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] is born.<ref name="LifeShares">[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#The Story]]</ref>
* 25 December - Birth of [[Alec Benson Leary]].

==1983==
Chris has stated that, in '''1983''', he was abused by his [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]], "starting" his [[autism]]. On other occasions, however, Chris has said that he is aware of autism being a hereditary disease, making his "acquisition" of autism impossible.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> We can nonetheless assume that the abuse Christopher suffered in 1983 was traumatic and possibly exacerbated his condition.<ref>First statement was done in the [[Song of Christian]] video.</ref>

===Events of 1983===
* 24 February - Christopher's 1st birthday.
* 1 April - [[Jacob Sockness]] is born.
* 30 June - [[Kacey]] is born.
* August - Christopher's autism allegedly "begins". He claims the reason was an evil babysitter named Roach, who locked him in a room. He becomes mute.<ref name="Song and Wikipedia" />
* 4 September - Bob's 56th birthday.
* 1 October - Barb's 42nd birthday.

==1984==
In '''1984''', Chris lived his life in [[Ruckersville]] as a mute toddler. He himself declared that he gave his parents a lot of trouble, and he screeched a lot.<ref name="WikiProfile" /> It is possibly indicated that his parents held this against him at a later age, and didn't really like caring for the [[Autism|autistic]] child they had created themselves.

===Events of 1984===
* 1984 - Cole leaves San Diego State University.
* 24 February - Christopher's 2nd birthday.
* 4 September - Bob's 57th birthday.
* 1 October - Barb's 43rd birthday.

==1985==
In '''1985''', Chris is still a mute, screeching toddler. He meets his first [[gal pal]], [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah]].

===Events of 1985===
* This year - Sarah Hammer and her family moves to Chris's neighborhood. The cordial relations that develops between the Hammer and Chandler couples lead to some sort of friendship between Chris and Sarah.<ref name="LifeShares" />
* This year - Cole's band, The Rockin Dogs, disbands.
* This year - Barb [[2018 Sales Listings#Autographed Johnny Cash photo|visits a Johnny Cash concert]].
* 24 February - Christopher's 3rd birthday.
* April - Chris has his picture taken holding a [[4-cent garbage|leaf]].
* 12 August - [[Jack Thaddeus]] is born.
* 4 September - Bob's 58th birthday.
* 1 October - Barb's 44th birthday.
* December - Chris and Barbara have their picture taken with Santa Claus.

==1986==
In '''1986''', Chris is still a mute, screeching toddler.

===Events of 1986===
* 17 January - ''[[The Adventures of the American Rabbit]]'' is released.
* 24 February - Christopher's 4th birthday.
* 1 March - Birth of [[William Elliott Waterman]].
* June - Chris has his picture taken at what seems to be a zoo.
* 23 July - Birth of [[Megan Schroeder]].
* 4 September - Bob's 59th birthday.
* 1 October - Barb's 45th birthday.
* December - Chris has his picture taken in front of a bathroom, and at a shopping mall.
* 25 December - Chris receives an abundance of toys for Christmas, including a giant {{w|An American Tail|Fievel}} doll, Raggedy Ann dolls, and several pieces of ''Sesame Street'' merchandise. Bob receives a book entitled "Your IBM PC Made Easy".

==1987==
In '''1987''', Chris starts attending [[Greene County Primary School]]. It isn't known for sure if he attended preschool before then.

===Events of 1987===
* Date unknown - Bob retires from his engineering job at {{w|Western Electric}}.<ref>[[Bob's Letters to Chris]]</ref>
* 24 February - Christopher's 5th birthday. A paper hat is made in his honor.
* August/September - Chris begins kindergarten at [[Greene County Primary School]].
* Autumn - Chris's school portrait is taken where he is holding a ball and is seated at a desk with an apple and a textbook placed on it.
* 4 September - Bob's 60th birthday.
* 1 October - Barb's 46th birthday.
* 26 December - Bob writes a [[Bob's Letters to Chris|letter]] describing his hopes and dreams for Chris.

==1988==
In '''1988''', Chris, still mute, begins first grade at Greene County Primary School. Later in either this year or the next, he joined the [[Chris and religion|Cub Scouts]]. He was later [[List of places that have banned Chris#The Cub Scouts|kicked out]] for unknown reasons.

===Events of 1988===
* Date unknown - [[Minor_Family_Members#Carol_Suzanne_Chandler|Carol Chandler]] wins the E.J. McShane Prize.
* 24 February - Christopher's 6th birthday.
* 17 March - [[Patti]] is born.<ref>As can be read in [[:File:Sonichu - Episode 12.5, Page 1.jpg|Sonichu #6]].</ref>
* August/September - Chris begins first grade at Greene County Primary School.
* 4 September - Bob's 61st birthday.
* 1 October - Barb's 47th birthday.
* 29 October - The Japanese release of the [[Sega]] Genesis.

==1989==
In '''1989''', helped by the language training at [[James Madison University]], Christopher starts talking again whilst reading a GoBots package.<ref>According to Christian in the Song of Christian video.</ref>

===Events of 1989===
* 1989 - Chris claims that he had a dream in which he foresaw himself with a daughter named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], and an office job.
* 1989 - Bob puts up a plaque in his workshop which reads "DREAMING STUDIO OF MR. C AND LITTLE C WHERE DREAMS DO COME TRUE - 1989".
* 24 January - [[Bundychu|Ted Bundy]] is executed.
* 24 February - Christopher's 7th birthday.
* July - The Chandlers fly to San Francisco, California for [[Cole Smithey|Cole]]'s 26th birthday.
* August/September - Chris enters second grade at Greene County Primary School.
* 14 August - The North American release of the Sega Genesis.
* 4 September - Bob turns 62.
* 1 October - Barb turns 48.
* 25 December - Chris gets his second gaming system, a [[Nintendo]] Game Boy, for Christmas.

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

User:Rtucker913

2021-09-20T02:11:15Z

Rtucker913:

{{protip|This user is too obsessed with Chris. Be a pal and help him out.}}

I am rtucker913. The TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Chunky Mustache Dad (Totally not Uncle Grandpa) and Dog-Thing (Totally not 1950s Snoopy). I mostly do minor stuff. Spelling, punctuation, concise language. I do not tend to add new information unless related to the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics.]] I also make redirect pages to make navigating the site a little bit easier.

I was the guy who released info on Chris's family back in [[January 2017]].

https://kiwifarms.net/members/everythingisawkward999.12539/

{{Template:AssBurger}}
{{Template:JERK}}
{{Template:Agnostic}}
{{Template:Americunt}}
{{Template:Straight}}
{{Template:Virgin with rage}}
{{Template:White}}
{{Template:ClassicChris}}
{{Template:Pedofork}}
{{Template:Observer}}
{{Template:GrammarNazi}}
{{Template:Ham}}
{{Template:Naive}}
{{Template:Anti-userbox}}

November 2021

2021-09-17T02:14:17Z

Rtucker913:

{{Dated}}
'''November''' will be the eleventh month of [[2021]]. This month will not only mark 14 years since the initial publication of a certain page, but will also be when Chris's second [[Incest]] trial will take place, unless there's another continuance.

==Highlights==
* '''3 November''' - The 14-year anniversary of Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page.
* '''11 November''' - The 15-year anniversary of [[PlayStation 3|the original life upgrade]].
* '''18 November''' - Chris's second trial on his incest charges will commence.
* '''25 November''' - [[Cherokian Clan|Thanksgiving]]: Chris will probably spend this holiday [[August 2021 Arrest and Court Case|behind bars]]. Meanwhile, [[Barb]] will just spend this day like any other, all alone within the hoard of [[14 Branchland Court]].

{{timeline}}

Halloween

2021-09-17T02:13:12Z

Rtucker913: /* Historic Halloweens */ More future than historic but...

'''Halloween''' is an annual holiday falling on 31 October. Originally [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|Irish]], it is also observed in New World countries with an Irish cultural influence, such as [[PandaHalo|Australia]] and the United States of America. It has often had significance for Chris. He may not have a high opinion of it, as bad stuff tends to happen to him around this time, as documented below.

==Historic Halloweens==
===1998 or 1999===
[[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] makes Chris's [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] [[cosplay|costume]].<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]</ref>

===2007===
Halloween 2007 coincided with the emergence of Chris-chan on the [[Internet]]: he appeared in a SomethingAwful thread on 26 October, got an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page on 3 November (not Halloween itself, as Chris has claimed), and [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] fanart existed the next day.

===2008===
[[File:EDSign.jpg|thumb|300px|At least it wasn't a burning bag of shit.]]
Chris had hoped to go with [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] to a "local Halloween party",<ref>[[Chris's Letter to Blanca]]</ref> but unfortunately she stole his medallions and outed herself as a [[troll]] before he could. He said that he had no plans for Halloween,<ref>[[IRC (24 October 2008)]]</ref> and so a crack squadron of trolls, including [[Emily]],<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/10-16-2016-new-pics-of-14-branchland-ct-and-garbage.25062/page-7#post-1815347</ref> infiltrated the grounds of [[14 Branchland Court]] that Halloween night, leaving a sign reading "[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA]] ♥ [[Jimmy Hill|JIMMY HILL]]" on the front lawn. Chris went apeshit, and a year later [[Sign Destruction Video|tore up the sign on YouTube]] while making [[death threat]]s against [[Vivian Gee]], [[Clyde Cash]], and their families.

Chris later claimed that [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] and [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] were the ones who left the sign. This is unconfirmed and extremely unlikely; Mimms never had anything to do with ED and Megan has never shown any sign of engaging with trolls whatsoever.<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref>

===2009===
Chris planned on going to a party at a counseling center, most likely at [[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]]'s suggestion. A loyal [[Nintendo]] fanboy, Chris was going to dress up as beloved corporate shill [[Wikipedia:Captain N: The Game Master|Captain N]], but was too lazy to get a decent costume and instead planned on wearing his ancient ill-fitting Ash getup.<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref> He never mentioned it again, so it's not known if he actually went or not, but given that he uploaded three videos that day ([[Getting Foam Ed]] for Clyde Cash, [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]] and [[Greetings to Kaceys Folks]]), he probably stayed at home.

===2010===
[[Jackie]] asked Chris to join "Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest" — he had to upload a video for [[YouTube]] every day in October, mentioning [[Honest Content|a secret]] in each that he'd never told anybody. In return, Jackie would fuck him on 1 [[November 2010|November]]. However, Chris failed to keep to schedule, provoking Jackie's ire and removing any chance of getting [[china]].
===2011===
Chris spent Halloween in ''jail'' after his [[28 October 2011|28 October attack]] on [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Barb appeared in court on Halloween to be formally charged with failing to stop after an accident, and with felony assault on a [[jerkop]].
===2012===
Chris did nothing for Halloween this year, as he was very lonely and depressed. However, he did put a lot of thought into a theoretical costume. He explained in a private [[Facebook]] message:
[[File:HNI 0020.JPG|thumb|TRICK OR TREAT, JEW!]]
{{quotebox|If I had local friends to actually hang out with, and they had invited me to a Halloween party, I would likely go as a zombie.

I would go as a zombie, this year at least, because I have been feeling like a zombie often lately. A) I often feel lost in thought from going off track in thought. And I often feel lost in life as well. B) The bad people, gravely and greatly counting the fucking Trolls/Cyber-Bullies, as well as the tyrannical [[Michael Snyder]] for destroying my life from his set up in having me [[28 October 2011|arrested]], spend a horrifying night in jail, going through trial after trial after trial of crappy court dates, only to be totally drained from losing to him. Which brings up C) I often have been feeling tired more quickly from each outing full of errands I run for [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] every day, although some of them do include time for myself. Having to reside in the same room with her becomes tedious and can become frustrating to me, but she is still the sweetest, most caring, compassionate, understanding mother I have grown up knowing with fondest memories. D) I have actually felt the total blank-minded mental state that can be derived from having just woken up and still feeling really drowsy, as well as post mental shut down after an extended amount of [[stress]] has surged through my mind. E) Zombies actually totally creep, gross, freak and scare me. Which is why I take pleasure in shooting them in the head or chopping them up into bits in [[video games]] before they can drain my avatar/main character.}}
{{clear}}
[[File:Chriszombie.jpg|200px|left|thumb|[[LEGO]] zombie Chris.]]
===2013===
Halloween 2013 was a true dark night of the soul for Christian. On the 30th, he received the traumatic news that his [[Manchester High School]] [[gal-pals]] were neither true nor honest: "I am shocked to hear that everyone was my friend, because they felt sorry for me." This realization (only 13 years too late) that his friends were playing [[Kick the Autistic|Pity the Autistic]] and didn't really like him crushed Chris's one really happy memory. He posted to [[Molly Quarles]], asking if she too was merely being nice, and called on his old MHS classmates to visit [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] in person to apologize (for what, is unclear). In keeping with the holiday spirit, he said he felt, as in the previous year, like "an emotional zombie."<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>
{{clear}}
[[File:LegoDerpy.jpg|thumb|150px|right|[[Derpy]]'s ready for trick-or-treating.]]
[[File:Chris at a gay bar.jpg|thumb|200px|left|Chris's "Lesbian chic" costume for Halloween 2014.]]
===2014===
A week before Halloween 2014, Chris asked of his [[Facebook]] friends, "Can anyone recommend any legitimate and good Halloween Parties in [[Charlottesville]], VA, please?" He eventually made the very atypical decision to [[October 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris hits up a gay bar (seriously)|spend the holiday]] patronizing the [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] dressed as a [[Chris and fashion|"Groovy 70's Lesbian Chic."]] Chris had originally hoped that if his girlfriend [[Catherine]] was in town, they could wear costumes with a "Lesbians Through Time" theme, with her as "the Past Lesbian" and himself as the aforementioned hippie. Unfortunately, she couldn't come, so Chris had to go alone.

The extent of his participation was not immediately known, as he only posted a bathroom selfie on Facebook. Knowing Chris, he probably just [[Fridays After Five|played with his Nintendo DS the whole time.]] The fact that Chris even ''entered'' a gay bar was somewhat mind boggling at the time, given his [[Homos|ongoing]] [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|homophobia]] and his [[Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|prior insistence]] that he would never enter such an establishment. It was unknown whether Chris had truly shed his homophobic tendencies or whether he was merely [[Attraction Sign|harassing]] lesbians at a gay bar.
{{clear}}
[[File:Ha1.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Rosechu and Sonichu]]
[[File:Ha2.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Humanoid electric mouse-hedgehogs dressed as humanoid horse things]]

===2015===
Chris unveiled Halloween costumes for the Sonichu family, who appeared as ''[[Equestria Girls]]'' characters. He instructed his [[Facebook]] followers to "Stay Safe while Trick-or-Treating, escorting the children on the outing, or while partying", in a rare case of Chris actually providing sound advice.

===2016===
Chris posted on a [[YouTube]] video: "Funny! And True! [[Trump]] Would HURT [[America]] overkill. Vote Hillary for Smarter and Better, not to mention [[Monthly tugboat|tax the wealthy and fill the middle and lower class, and everyone else's, pockets.]]"<ref>[[List_of_Christian%27s_comments_on_YouTube#DBX:_Donald_Trump_VS_Hillary_Clinton]]</ref> Other than that, he didn't seem to do anything actually Halloween-related.
{{clear}}
===2017===
Chris wished his fans a happy Halloween while announcing that he had taken a break from working on the Sonichu comic<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_Patreon_posts#Delay.2C_needed_some_me-time</ref>.
{{clear}}
[[File:ChrisHalloween2018.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Chris in a lazily done costume as an obscure character from an old cartoon]]
===2018===
Chris dressed as [https://smurfs.fandom.com/wiki/Princess_Savina Princess Savina] in her warrior disguise from the Smurfs cartoon series
to attend a costume party at a local bar/grill. He also claimed that his spouses, [[Magi-Chan]], Cryzel, [[Silvana]], and [[Mewtwo]] were also dressed as Smurf characters as [https://smurfs.fandom.com/wiki/Sir_Johan Johan], [https://smurfs.fandom.com/wiki/Peewit Peewit], [https://smurfs.fandom.com/wiki/Dame_Barbara Dame Barbara], and [https://smurfs.fandom.com/wiki/King_Gerard King Gerard] respectively.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-10-31-halloween-costume.49503/</ref>.
===2019===
Chris celebrated Halloween by warning readers that the [[Dimensional Merge]] is coming close and to stay safe from the OCs; the holiday would mean that the "Dimensional Iron Curtain" was thin.
===2020===
Chris ignored Halloween, spending the day role-playing as Sonichu on [[Twitter]], saying that he would still write comics after the [[Dimensional Merge]].<ref>[[October 2020 social media posts]]</ref>
===2021===
Chris is going to spend Halloween in jail this year while he waits for [[August 2021 Arrest and Court Case#Second court appearance|his next court appearance]] due to his charges of [[incest]].

==Fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan Halloween: The GAMe PLACe Incident 2011 <nowiki>|</nowiki> Michael Snyder
| ytid = Ts0o4xbE4nY
| stardate = 27 [[October 2019]]
| maker = Last Terminal Network
| subject = Halloween, [[Michael Snyder]]
| type =
| info =
}}

==See also==
*[[Cosplay]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Chris's birthday|Birthday]]
*[[Bunny Hop|Easter]]
{{References}}
{{Year}}

November 2021

2021-09-16T19:04:41Z

Rtucker913:

{{Dated}}
'''November''' will be the eleventh month of [[2021]].

==Highlights==
* '''November''' - Chris's second court case will take place this month.
* '''3 November''' - The 14-year anniversary of Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page.
* '''11 November''' - The 15-year anniversary of [[PlayStation 3|the original life upgrade]].
* '''25 November''' - [[Cherokian Clan|Thanksgiving]]: Chris will probably spend this holiday [[Incest|behind bars]]. Meanwhile, [[Barb]] will just spend this day like any other, all alone within the hoard of [[14 Branchland Court]].

{{timeline}}

Mailbag 40

2021-09-15T02:14:27Z

Rtucker913:

'''Mailbag 40''' was uploaded on the [[CWCipedia]] on 13 [[January 2010]]. [[Chris]] answered one question and deleted another a day later. A day after that, he answered (and deleted) the rest.

This mailbag had the highest deletion rate of any mailbag so far. Out of the 18 letters sent, only eight were answered. In this case, though, the deletions were not Chris's most shocking action. A nurse at a cancer ward asked him for a few autographed copies of the [[Asperchu]] comic, apparently under the false impression that he produced both. Instead of correcting her error, or forwarding the letter to Alec Benson Leary, Chris changed the word "Asperchu" to "Sonichu" in her letter and answered it as though it had always been meant for him, saying he would "consider a donation of a book or two." To summarize, Chris willfully prevented the request of [[Chris and death|CHILDREN DYING OF CANCER]] from ever being carried out in order to service his own ego.

Other notable letters included Chris [[Chris and money|throwing away a hypothetical billion dollars]], not understanding the difference between [[love]] and [[sex]], and the rather terrifying prospect of Chris adding a [[black]] character to compete with Asperchu's Jivin.

==Answered==
===Love does not equal sex===
{{Email|From: Dear Chris,

Don't worry, I've been trying to convince your [[gay]] fans you don't mean any harm by wanting to cure them. See, you don't mean them any harm because as an [[autistic]], you don't understand love.

See, imagine you were madly in love with a person. But then you were forcibly "cured" of your orientation. From your perspective, the person would have no problem finding someone with their new orientation. Why? Well, because without love, you only have sexual attraction. And if it's just sexual attraction, you can easily dump the person and find someone else. But normal, non-autistic people can love.

But don't worry about it. Just remember, when discussing love, there's something you can't understand because you're autistic.

~ A fan}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I DO understand Love; I was LOVED by my family and my friends, and I gave them respective love back in return. You are Stereotyping Me, and THAT, along with MISLABELING, I DO NOT APPRECIATE AT ALL. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===You'd think he'd notice the name===
{{Email|From: [[Blake|Bla Chu]] <blachu@ymail.com>
Chris

How many [[fans]] do you believe [[sonichu]] has? I always figured it would be quite a lot.

Blake}}
{{EmailReply|I have LOTS of Loyal Fans, and I appreciate them very much.}}

===The sound of a million financial analysts screaming===
{{Email|From: odnar@luukku.com

In one of your mailbags, you inform us that [[CWCville]] has 10 soup hotels, each having 9 inhabitable floors with 10-20 rooms. I addition to this, your electric-hedgehog [[Pokémon]]s get aid of approximately 3500 bucks per couple.

While I appreciate socialism, couple of questions arise:
 1. Are there so much rich folk in CWCville? What's the overall population?
 2. How high is the tax rate?
 3. Why only one city in the USA has this system?}}
{{EmailReply|1) No, there are only a few Rich People; most of the population are Average Income. 2) I have no idea of "Tax Rate"; I would say it is average along with the rest of the U.S.A. I am NOT a Stock Market Expert Either. 3) Maybe because the other cities have NOT thought of it.}}

===In which Chris throws away a fortune===
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:Ron Jeremy|Ron Jeremy]] <Ron.Jeremy@avn.org>
Dear Chris,
I understand that lots of people call you gay, but you are not. I sympathize with you, because lots of people call me gay, too. I'm not gay, I have had lots of sex with women. True, I also had some sex with men, but I didn't love them. It was just for money. I mean, if someone offered you a million dollars, would you have sex with a man? What if they were filming it? A million dollars is a lot of money.
Sincerely,
Ron Jeremy}}
{{EmailReply|I would never commit to such a horrendous ace EVEN for a Billion Dollars. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===If he hadn't bolded it, we might not have noticed===
{{Email|From: Debbie Dryden <debbie.dryden@live.com>
Hello Chris,

I am a nurse at [[wikipedia:University of Chicago Medical Center|Chicago Comer Children's Hospital]]. I represent a facility that is the forefront of kids' medicine. We are commited to providing healing and comfort to children, with respect and dignity to patients and family.

Recently, the children in the cancer ward have become enamered with your comics. Each day all the children gather in the atrium, and I read to them about the newest adventures! It gives them such joy, and such hope. One little boy tells me about how he dreams of living in [[Cwcville]] one day - He has a level 4 brain tumor and is undergoing intense chemotheropy treatment. He carries a [[medallion]] with him to treatment everyday. It gives him special powers to fight off the sickness. I believe him when he says it's real.

We feel that your comic is a positive influence on the children. I would like to thank you for doing what you do.

Would you be willing to donate an autographed copy of your '''Sonichu comics''' to our cancer ward?

Kind regards,

Debbie Dryden

Comer Children's Hospital
5721 South Maryland Avenue
Chicago, IL 60637, United States
(773) 702-1000}}
''The bolded "Sonichu comics" originally said "Asperchu's comics". That's right folks, Chris just changed the request of DYING CHILDREN just because it caused him stress.''

{{EmailReply|I may consider a donation of a Sonichu Book or two to the hospital. Thank you for your support. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Somehow Sonichu is still more offensive===
[[File:DownsChu.jpg|thumb|DownsChu]]
{{Email|From: Meredith Reynolds <sonichufan1991@live.com>
Hey Chris, just writing to let you know that I and the rest of the true fans are behind you on this whole Asperchu thing. That is why I have taken the liberty of creating a [[parody]] of my own, Downschu, whose picture I have enclosed.

Downschu is a STRAIGHT electric hedgehog pokemon, who along with his girlfriend, Low Functioning Autistic Rosechu [not pictured], and friends such as {{w|Progeria}} [[Punchy]] [not pictured] and [[Magi-chan|Magichan]] with {{w|Tourette syndrome|Tourettes}} [pictured, but invisible], help to spread the word that Sonichu and his creator Christian Weston Chandler are STRAIGHT, and that Asperchu is a slanderous mockery to all electric hedgehog pokemon who should be put against the wall with all the other "undesirables". Thanks!

P.S. As the creator of Downschu, I hereby give you full permission to feature him and his friends in your Sonichu comics until I say otherwise.}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I appreciate your support and your letter. Second, even though I am High-Functionally Autistic, and I have no objections against anyone with mental conditions of any sort, I feel uncomfortable and would RARELY EVER draw any character of that sort in my comics. And I am not comfortable with Your drawing, no offense, but IT is one where the character Looks Stupid, and that offends me. This is because of ALL of the Hateful and Offensive artwork they had featured on the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page that PORTRAYED ME and MY CHARACTERS as Stupid, and I personally take offense to such images.

Have a good day,

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:19, 14 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Martin Luther King Jr. rages in his grave===
{{Email|From: kid{{w|The Cosby Show|cosby}}8557@aol.com
You make fun of Asperchu a lot, but at least Asperchu is a diverse comic. For example, Jivin Pickles is a positive [[Niggos|African-American]] character, and he's one of the main characters. When will your comic feature a positive African-American character as a main character?}}
{{EmailReply|It is planned, but a name has not been decided yet.}}

===Asperchu continues to make the world a better place===
{{Email|From: boogies1885@cheerful.com
I've been a long time fan of Sonichu, but recently, after seeing an ad, I started reading the Asperchu comics. I have to say, I like your Asperchu comic better than your Sonichu comic. Asperchu is a much better written and better drawn character. Have you ever considered canceling Sonichu so that your company can devote all their energy on Asperchu, giving it the attention it deserves? I really would like that.}}
{{EmailReply|'''Asperchu is NOT MINE; it belongs to Alec Benson Leary!''' And I have NO Association with that dude WHATSOEVER. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Gone Forever==

===Gay lover===
{{Email|From: nineinchbear@virginia.usa.com
Chris,

It's me, Steve. It's clear to me this relationship just isn't going to work, and you standing me up last night (1/12) was completely unacceptable!!! You certainly seemed interested enough when you contacted me through gaysinglesonline.com. After weeks of long, erotic Online sex chats and keeping in touch through email, YOU said TO ME that you wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I knew well enough that your family wouldn't understand and we would have to keep this as our little secret. You told me to meet you at Escafe in [[Charlottesville]] at 7:00. Guess what, I was there and WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!? I sat there like an idiot for 3 hours waiting on you, calling your cell phone and getting no response until finally I just had enough and left. So now I'm pissed, and I don't care about our agreement to keep all this discreet. I'll let the whole world know! And by the way, if you don't want me giving all those videos you took of yourself jerking to my picture to the [[trolls]], you'd better have a damn good excuse for your behavior and answer this message!!!!! You just missed out on a great thing, Chris. Your not going to find many more guys willing to accept you for who you are. (Guy's with [[aspergers]] are my fetish.)}}

===Simonchu swings both ways===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>

Alec Benson Leary has been using my Simonchu in a VERY respectful
manner. He draws him as a MAN, with the PICKLE HE HAS ALWAYS HAD AND
WAS BORN WITH. He has accidentally mislabelled my character as a homo
(however I cannot fault him as I NEVER clarified Simonchu's
preferences in the comic yet). I discussed this with him and set the
record straight (or sort of straight) and told him that Simonchu is a
BISEXUAL, he apologized and intends to Right the Matter. However, I
don't even CARE--it was an HONEST MISTAKE, unlike your DELIBERATE
thieving and gender-changing of MY Character that you REFUSE to right
even in the face of Lawsuits.

Alec has even been KIND enough to feature an ad about my struggles
with the [[Simonla]]/Simonchu Controversy. This is why ALL YOUR FANS WILL
LEAVE YOU, just as I Predicted. You are not KIND to any of them, like
Alec is to HIS [[fanbase]]. He has been Good to Protect my Character from
your SLIMY MITTS.

-Evan Christopher "Ivan" George}}

===Nonstandard anatomy===
{{Email|From: Greg Cats <gregthecatman@yahoo.com>

Is it gay to have sex with someone if they're a woman on top, but a man on bottom (they have breasts and a female face but they have a penis)?

Is it gay to have sex with someone if they're a man on top, but a woman on the bottom (they have a masculine chest and a male face, maybe even a beard, but they have a vagina)?}}

===No, he was finally openly gay when he bought the sports bras===
{{Email|From: manosthehands@2die4.com
Wait, so you kissed [[Silvana]]? But Silvana has a penis, so that would make you gay. Does this mean you're finally openly gay?}}

===On Chris's continual mistreatment of Wikisysop===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris,

You recently complained to the Sysop that you want the block on the front page removed.

Have you already forgotten that the last time she let you near the ads, she nearly got sued?

You really don't respect women at all, do you?}}

===Also Ted Bundy===
{{Email|From: stingray55@gmail.com
Hey Chris,

I've been reading over your love quest and I think I might have a solution to your problem; I've been reading up on a group of women who become enamored to serial killers and fall in love with them. Within a matter of days of being put on death row these men receive offers of marriage from women all over the country! I'm not saying you should murder anyone, but you could be wrongly convicted on a murder charge and get one of these women to fall madly in love with you. I'm not sure Virginia's laws on conjugal visits but I'm sure they'd allow it! This worked out well for Richard Ramirez and he married a woman while on death row!

It's probably your best shot man!

Good luck!

Your fan,

StingraY}}

===Chris's diseased ticker===
{{Email|From: Tubular Monkey <tubularmonkey@gmail.com>
Hi Christian,

You've talked a lot about your [[heart level]] in the past, referring to whether or not you are broken hearted. But what about your actual heart? I know that your father has had multiple heart attacks throughout his life. Since heart disease runs in the family, are you concerned that you will have a heart attack at some point?

Your fan,
TM}}

===Alec tells it like it is===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com>
Christian Weston Chandler,

Why do you Threaten me? Why do you hate me enough to THREATEN my life? I only wanted to become a Great and True Artisan like you yourself are. Are you jealous because I have done so? You know, I spend my time making the ASPERCHU comic and devoting to making myself the BEST artisan I can be. I don't spend my time issuing DEATH THREATS, which as you should know by now is a FELONY and against the LAW.

By your OWN admission, I paid Jack Thaddeus to have the Ad Space. That means I legally have the Right to Advertise my creations there, that is how Advertising works. You care so much for your own legal rights so many occasions, Why do you not care for OTHER peoples' legal rights?

Perhaps in the dictatorship of CWCville you have the godly power to kill people who Only want to Aspire to Greatness in their Careers. But in America, we have something called Freedom of the PRESS, where someone who pays LEGALLY for adspace can advertise their Product without fear of MURDER. So I ask you also, why do you hate not only me, but AMERICA? Because you obviously do NOT approve of any different messages than your OWN.

Your former joy-boy,

Alec Benson Leary

P.S. Simonchu is feeling MUCH better now that he and his Lover [[Wild]] are under the safety of ALBville's laws, which protect SAME-SEX MARRIAGE such as THEIRS; Magi-chan likewise enjoys being able to be the Homogay he truly is under my Wise Rule. Perhaps you should devote your energy to fixing CWCville's problems so you don't lose MORE citizens.}}

===Evan chimes in===
{{Email|From: Evang7 <evang7@gmail.com>

I do not want either Simonchu OR Simonla in your comic, you have LOST
MY TRUST. What about this is SO HARD to understand? looking at How
You've Acted when people give Rosechu a Pickle, you are a HYPOCRITE.

Further proof of this: you speak against Asperchu using Your
Characters, but it's Okay for you to use Mine? You're a Mocking Jerk.
Tell You What: You can keep Simonla in the comics, if you let Alec use
your characters. I don't want you using my Simonchu AT ALL, under ANY
circumstances. You've Already Stolen him ONCE.

Don't you DARE reject this, you coward. Come out and Face Me.

-Evan}}

===On Chris's imaginary unfaithfulness===
{{Email|From: Leslie Triballo <lesliepony@yahoo.com>

You said in your mailbags that [[Meg Griffin]] pushed herself on you and you were powerless to stop her. And that Meg turned out to be Silvana so it's okay.

First of all, your character didn't even TRY to resist her. You flirted with her (saying amongst other things that you would "happily accept" her performing a sexual favor for you), punched a guy out for her (which you wouldn't do if you weren't trying to impress her), and despite her being all over you, not ONE SINGLE TIME did you say, "I'm sorry, but I'm already taken, please stop touching me." You never mentioned Lovely Weather to her at all. You let her do everything she did to you willingly and flirted right back. So stop lying that you were powerless to do anything.

Secondly, your character still thinks she's Meg. So it doesn't matter at all if she's Meg or Silvana. You still willingly flirted with her. That's a pretty lame excuse that no woman in real life wouldn't accept if you were cheating on her like that.

So stop being dishonest. Infidelity and lying isn't something to be teaching kids in your comic.

--Leslie}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 40

2021-09-15T02:13:28Z

Rtucker913: /* Answered */

'''Mailbag 40''' was uploaded on the [[CWCipedia]] on 13 [[January 2010]]. [[Chris]] answered one question and deleted another a day later. A day after that, he answered (and deleted) the rest.

This mailbag had the highest deletion rate of any mailbag so far. Out of the 18 letters sent, only eight were answered. In this case, though, the deletions were not Chris's most shocking action. A nurse at a cancer ward asked him for a few autographed copies of the [[Asperchu]] comic, apparently under the false impression that he produced both. Instead of correcting her error, or forwarding the letter to Alec Benson Leary, Chris changed the word "Asperchu" to "Sonichu" in her letter and answered it as though it had always been meant for him, saying he would "consider a donation of a book or two." To summarize, Chris willfully prevented the request of [[Chris and death|CHILDREN DYING OF CANCER]] from ever being carried out in order to service his own ego.

Other notable letters included Chris [[Chris and money|throwing away a hypothetical billion dollars]], not understanding the difference between [[love]] and [[sex]], and the rather terrifying prospect of Chris adding a [[black]] character to compete with Asperchu's Jivin.

==Answered==
===Love does not equal sex===
{{Email|From: Dear Chris,

Don't worry, I've been trying to convince your [[gay]] fans you don't mean any harm by wanting to cure them. See, you don't mean them any harm because as an [[autistic]], you don't understand love.

See, imagine you were madly in love with a person. But then you were forcibly "cured" of your orientation. From your perspective, the person would have no problem finding someone with their new orientation. Why? Well, because without love, you only have sexual attraction. And if it's just sexual attraction, you can easily dump the person and find someone else. But normal, non-autistic people can love.

But don't worry about it. Just remember, when discussing love, there's something you can't understand because you're autistic.

~ A fan}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I DO understand Love; I was LOVED by my family and my friends, and I gave them respective love back in return. You are Stereotyping Me, and THAT, along with MISLABELING, I DO NOT APPRECIATE AT ALL. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===You'd think he'd notice the name===
{{Email|From: [[Blake|Bla Chu]] <blachu@ymail.com>
Chris

How many [[fans]] do you believe [[sonichu]] has? I always figured it would be quite a lot.

Blake}}
{{EmailReply|I have LOTS of Loyal Fans, and I appreciate them very much.}}

===The sound of a million financial analysts screaming===
{{Email|From: odnar@luukku.com

In one of your mailbags, you inform us that [[CWCville]] has 10 soup hotels, each having 9 inhabitable floors with 10-20 rooms. I addition to this, your electric-hedgehog [[Pokémon]]s get aid of approximately 3500 bucks per couple.

While I appreciate socialism, couple of questions arise:
 1. Are there so much rich folk in CWCville? What's the overall population?
 2. How high is the tax rate?
 3. Why only one city in the USA has this system?}}
{{EmailReply|1) No, there are only a few Rich People; most of the population are Average Income. 2) I have no idea of "Tax Rate"; I would say it is average along with the rest of the U.S.A. I am NOT a Stock Market Expert Either. 3) Maybe because the other cities have NOT thought of it.}}

===In which Chris throws away a fortune===
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:Ron Jeremy|Ron Jeremy]] <Ron.Jeremy@avn.org>
Dear Chris,
I understand that lots of people call you gay, but you are not. I sympathize with you, because lots of people call me gay, too. I'm not gay, I have had lots of sex with women. True, I also had some sex with men, but I didn't love them. It was just for money. I mean, if someone offered you a million dollars, would you have sex with a man? What if they were filming it? A million dollars is a lot of money.
Sincerely,
Ron Jeremy}}
{{EmailReply|I would never commit to such a horrendous ace EVEN for a Billion Dollars. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===If he hadn't bolded it, we might not have noticed===
{{Email|From: Debbie Dryden <debbie.dryden@live.com>
Hello Chris,

I am a nurse at {{University of Chicago Medical Center|Chicago Comer Children's Hospital}}. I represent a facility that is the forefront of kids' medicine. We are commited to providing healing and comfort to children, with respect and dignity to patients and family.

Recently, the children in the cancer ward have become enamered with your comics. Each day all the children gather in the atrium, and I read to them about the newest adventures! It gives them such joy, and such hope. One little boy tells me about how he dreams of living in [[Cwcville]] one day - He has a level 4 brain tumor and is undergoing intense chemotheropy treatment. He carries a [[medallion]] with him to treatment everyday. It gives him special powers to fight off the sickness. I believe him when he says it's real.

We feel that your comic is a positive influence on the children. I would like to thank you for doing what you do.

Would you be willing to donate an autographed copy of your '''Sonichu comics''' to our cancer ward?

Kind regards,

Debbie Dryden

Comer Children's Hospital
5721 South Maryland Avenue
Chicago, IL 60637, United States
(773) 702-1000}}
''The bolded "Sonichu comics" originally said "Asperchu's comics". That's right folks, Chris just changed the request of DYING CHILDREN just because it caused him stress.''

{{EmailReply|I may consider a donation of a Sonichu Book or two to the hospital. Thank you for your support. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Somehow Sonichu is still more offensive===
[[File:DownsChu.jpg|thumb|DownsChu]]
{{Email|From: Meredith Reynolds <sonichufan1991@live.com>
Hey Chris, just writing to let you know that I and the rest of the true fans are behind you on this whole Asperchu thing. That is why I have taken the liberty of creating a [[parody]] of my own, Downschu, whose picture I have enclosed.

Downschu is a STRAIGHT electric hedgehog pokemon, who along with his girlfriend, Low Functioning Autistic Rosechu [not pictured], and friends such as {{w|Progeria}} [[Punchy]] [not pictured] and [[Magi-chan|Magichan]] with {{w|Tourette syndrome|Tourettes}} [pictured, but invisible], help to spread the word that Sonichu and his creator Christian Weston Chandler are STRAIGHT, and that Asperchu is a slanderous mockery to all electric hedgehog pokemon who should be put against the wall with all the other "undesirables". Thanks!

P.S. As the creator of Downschu, I hereby give you full permission to feature him and his friends in your Sonichu comics until I say otherwise.}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I appreciate your support and your letter. Second, even though I am High-Functionally Autistic, and I have no objections against anyone with mental conditions of any sort, I feel uncomfortable and would RARELY EVER draw any character of that sort in my comics. And I am not comfortable with Your drawing, no offense, but IT is one where the character Looks Stupid, and that offends me. This is because of ALL of the Hateful and Offensive artwork they had featured on the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page that PORTRAYED ME and MY CHARACTERS as Stupid, and I personally take offense to such images.

Have a good day,

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:19, 14 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Martin Luther King Jr. rages in his grave===
{{Email|From: kid{{w|The Cosby Show|cosby}}8557@aol.com
You make fun of Asperchu a lot, but at least Asperchu is a diverse comic. For example, Jivin Pickles is a positive [[Niggos|African-American]] character, and he's one of the main characters. When will your comic feature a positive African-American character as a main character?}}
{{EmailReply|It is planned, but a name has not been decided yet.}}

===Asperchu continues to make the world a better place===
{{Email|From: boogies1885@cheerful.com
I've been a long time fan of Sonichu, but recently, after seeing an ad, I started reading the Asperchu comics. I have to say, I like your Asperchu comic better than your Sonichu comic. Asperchu is a much better written and better drawn character. Have you ever considered canceling Sonichu so that your company can devote all their energy on Asperchu, giving it the attention it deserves? I really would like that.}}
{{EmailReply|'''Asperchu is NOT MINE; it belongs to Alec Benson Leary!''' And I have NO Association with that dude WHATSOEVER. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Gone Forever==

===Gay lover===
{{Email|From: nineinchbear@virginia.usa.com
Chris,

It's me, Steve. It's clear to me this relationship just isn't going to work, and you standing me up last night (1/12) was completely unacceptable!!! You certainly seemed interested enough when you contacted me through gaysinglesonline.com. After weeks of long, erotic Online sex chats and keeping in touch through email, YOU said TO ME that you wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I knew well enough that your family wouldn't understand and we would have to keep this as our little secret. You told me to meet you at Escafe in [[Charlottesville]] at 7:00. Guess what, I was there and WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!? I sat there like an idiot for 3 hours waiting on you, calling your cell phone and getting no response until finally I just had enough and left. So now I'm pissed, and I don't care about our agreement to keep all this discreet. I'll let the whole world know! And by the way, if you don't want me giving all those videos you took of yourself jerking to my picture to the [[trolls]], you'd better have a damn good excuse for your behavior and answer this message!!!!! You just missed out on a great thing, Chris. Your not going to find many more guys willing to accept you for who you are. (Guy's with [[aspergers]] are my fetish.)}}

===Simonchu swings both ways===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>

Alec Benson Leary has been using my Simonchu in a VERY respectful
manner. He draws him as a MAN, with the PICKLE HE HAS ALWAYS HAD AND
WAS BORN WITH. He has accidentally mislabelled my character as a homo
(however I cannot fault him as I NEVER clarified Simonchu's
preferences in the comic yet). I discussed this with him and set the
record straight (or sort of straight) and told him that Simonchu is a
BISEXUAL, he apologized and intends to Right the Matter. However, I
don't even CARE--it was an HONEST MISTAKE, unlike your DELIBERATE
thieving and gender-changing of MY Character that you REFUSE to right
even in the face of Lawsuits.

Alec has even been KIND enough to feature an ad about my struggles
with the [[Simonla]]/Simonchu Controversy. This is why ALL YOUR FANS WILL
LEAVE YOU, just as I Predicted. You are not KIND to any of them, like
Alec is to HIS [[fanbase]]. He has been Good to Protect my Character from
your SLIMY MITTS.

-Evan Christopher "Ivan" George}}

===Nonstandard anatomy===
{{Email|From: Greg Cats <gregthecatman@yahoo.com>

Is it gay to have sex with someone if they're a woman on top, but a man on bottom (they have breasts and a female face but they have a penis)?

Is it gay to have sex with someone if they're a man on top, but a woman on the bottom (they have a masculine chest and a male face, maybe even a beard, but they have a vagina)?}}

===No, he was finally openly gay when he bought the sports bras===
{{Email|From: manosthehands@2die4.com
Wait, so you kissed [[Silvana]]? But Silvana has a penis, so that would make you gay. Does this mean you're finally openly gay?}}

===On Chris's continual mistreatment of Wikisysop===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris,

You recently complained to the Sysop that you want the block on the front page removed.

Have you already forgotten that the last time she let you near the ads, she nearly got sued?

You really don't respect women at all, do you?}}

===Also Ted Bundy===
{{Email|From: stingray55@gmail.com
Hey Chris,

I've been reading over your love quest and I think I might have a solution to your problem; I've been reading up on a group of women who become enamored to serial killers and fall in love with them. Within a matter of days of being put on death row these men receive offers of marriage from women all over the country! I'm not saying you should murder anyone, but you could be wrongly convicted on a murder charge and get one of these women to fall madly in love with you. I'm not sure Virginia's laws on conjugal visits but I'm sure they'd allow it! This worked out well for Richard Ramirez and he married a woman while on death row!

It's probably your best shot man!

Good luck!

Your fan,

StingraY}}

===Chris's diseased ticker===
{{Email|From: Tubular Monkey <tubularmonkey@gmail.com>
Hi Christian,

You've talked a lot about your [[heart level]] in the past, referring to whether or not you are broken hearted. But what about your actual heart? I know that your father has had multiple heart attacks throughout his life. Since heart disease runs in the family, are you concerned that you will have a heart attack at some point?

Your fan,
TM}}

===Alec tells it like it is===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com>
Christian Weston Chandler,

Why do you Threaten me? Why do you hate me enough to THREATEN my life? I only wanted to become a Great and True Artisan like you yourself are. Are you jealous because I have done so? You know, I spend my time making the ASPERCHU comic and devoting to making myself the BEST artisan I can be. I don't spend my time issuing DEATH THREATS, which as you should know by now is a FELONY and against the LAW.

By your OWN admission, I paid Jack Thaddeus to have the Ad Space. That means I legally have the Right to Advertise my creations there, that is how Advertising works. You care so much for your own legal rights so many occasions, Why do you not care for OTHER peoples' legal rights?

Perhaps in the dictatorship of CWCville you have the godly power to kill people who Only want to Aspire to Greatness in their Careers. But in America, we have something called Freedom of the PRESS, where someone who pays LEGALLY for adspace can advertise their Product without fear of MURDER. So I ask you also, why do you hate not only me, but AMERICA? Because you obviously do NOT approve of any different messages than your OWN.

Your former joy-boy,

Alec Benson Leary

P.S. Simonchu is feeling MUCH better now that he and his Lover [[Wild]] are under the safety of ALBville's laws, which protect SAME-SEX MARRIAGE such as THEIRS; Magi-chan likewise enjoys being able to be the Homogay he truly is under my Wise Rule. Perhaps you should devote your energy to fixing CWCville's problems so you don't lose MORE citizens.}}

===Evan chimes in===
{{Email|From: Evang7 <evang7@gmail.com>

I do not want either Simonchu OR Simonla in your comic, you have LOST
MY TRUST. What about this is SO HARD to understand? looking at How
You've Acted when people give Rosechu a Pickle, you are a HYPOCRITE.

Further proof of this: you speak against Asperchu using Your
Characters, but it's Okay for you to use Mine? You're a Mocking Jerk.
Tell You What: You can keep Simonla in the comics, if you let Alec use
your characters. I don't want you using my Simonchu AT ALL, under ANY
circumstances. You've Already Stolen him ONCE.

Don't you DARE reject this, you coward. Come out and Face Me.

-Evan}}

===On Chris's imaginary unfaithfulness===
{{Email|From: Leslie Triballo <lesliepony@yahoo.com>

You said in your mailbags that [[Meg Griffin]] pushed herself on you and you were powerless to stop her. And that Meg turned out to be Silvana so it's okay.

First of all, your character didn't even TRY to resist her. You flirted with her (saying amongst other things that you would "happily accept" her performing a sexual favor for you), punched a guy out for her (which you wouldn't do if you weren't trying to impress her), and despite her being all over you, not ONE SINGLE TIME did you say, "I'm sorry, but I'm already taken, please stop touching me." You never mentioned Lovely Weather to her at all. You let her do everything she did to you willingly and flirted right back. So stop lying that you were powerless to do anything.

Secondly, your character still thinks she's Meg. So it doesn't matter at all if she's Meg or Silvana. You still willingly flirted with her. That's a pretty lame excuse that no woman in real life wouldn't accept if you were cheating on her like that.

So stop being dishonest. Infidelity and lying isn't something to be teaching kids in your comic.

--Leslie}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 39

2021-09-15T02:07:29Z

Rtucker913: /* Gone Forever */

'''Mailbag 39''' was added to the [[CWCipedia]] on 12 [[January 2010]]. [[Chris]] started answering it on the same day as the fourth and final part of his Mailbag Marathon which started with [[Mailbag 36]]. He got halfway through before quitting in order to [[12 January 2010#Part 2|scream into his camera]] and (presumably) crash into slumber. He answered the rest on the 15th.

Chris's habit of deleting emails without saving backups hit a fever pitch in this one.

It should be noted that Chris replied to a question about whether he would have sex with a [[Mia Hamm|prostitute]] with "no comment." In one of the previous Mailbags, Chris stated that he wanted his first time to be True and Honest. It's odd that he didn't have a similar answer this time. This might have been the early signs of Chris eventually becoming desperate enough to lose his virginity to a whore.

Chris also seemed desperate to erase from reality the Family Guy storyline in which Meg gets a sex change.

==Answered==
===Either God is a liar, or Chris is===
{{Email|From: wineman.the.actor@gmail.com

Hey Christian,

I've been running a youth fan club up in a Montanan [[Methodist]] Church, but I was thinking of disbanding it. The other day we had a kid sent to time out because she called stupid. When asked why she said that, she said that [[Chris and religion|god]] told Chris and [[Ivy]] that they were destined to be together, but then never met up in the [[comic]], and then she died (in a very gross manner). then she said that God spent so much energy on that and not on turning [[Silvana]] to normal, which would've turned her good and probably spare a few lives. She then asked why God did that?

She has a good point, Mr. Chandler. Why do you have God do such stupid things? And why did you have god bind the two together if Chris would later mary some woman named [[Lovely Weather]] and then cheat on her with Meg? And then, as a Christian man you shot a person and killed thousands by making a building crumble.

Tomorrow we are having a vote in the next few days on what to do: A. We stay with your comic B. We abandon the fan club C. We begin following [[Asperchu]].

Some of us think he's original, some of us believe that he is a [[parody]], but we all agree his comic is well written and focused more on a kind and Christian character.

Do you have anything to say before we vote (my recommendation is you ignore Asperchu and focus on why you seem to make a mockery of god)

Yours in God

Nick}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, that me and Ivy thing, it was REAL for a time, but THEN SHE DID DIE FOR REAL. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT THAT? Draw MYSELF DYING and loving her in Heaven? A: Stay with me, I will do better, I promise. B: Do not abandon your Fan Club. C: Forget that Thing; HE IS a parody.}}

===In which Chris refers to a man buying his underage son a whore as "good news"===
{{Email|From: {{w|Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson}} <mikejackson113@hotmail.com>

Chris,

Thanks for all of your great answers! I talked to my wife about it and let her know what you said. She still wasn't entirely happy about my son going to an escort service, but she agreed that it was time to let go. We are planning on taking Mike Junior to an escort service tomorrow! We found one that gives their women constant checkups and testing. They've e-mailed us with all of the records and they'll give my son a lineup of beauties to choose from!

My son is understandably nervous about his first time and he wanted to know if you had any tips for him. He wanted to know if you had any pickup lines that he could use. Any advice that you could give him would be much appreciated! I know he reads this, so I know he'd be thrilled if you could answer this.

Afterwards my wife and I were planning on having a small celebration about my son having his first time. It would just be an informal party with only his best friend and one or two other people. Do you think it would be appropriate to have this at our local O'Charley's or should we spring for someplace nicer? Where do you think we should take him? Would it be ok to have a cake telling him congratulations for his first time?

Thanks again,

Mike}}
{{EmailReply|Well, I'm glad to hear some good news (for a change at the moment). My advice for your son is just to be himself; use a condom for just in case; let HER lead and follow. I offer my personal congratulations and wish y'all good luck and God's blessings. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:20, 13 January 2010 (CET)}}

===In which Chris calls someone an arrogant idiot without irony===
{{Email|From: Jason Rothell <metalpencil@gmail.com>
Dear Chris:

Why do you think it's terrible when someone uses [[Sonichu]] in their webcomic? Why are they horrible people? Did you not use [[Sonic]] and [[Pikachu]]'s character before in the Sonichu comic? Also, isn't [[Simonla]]'s development based on someone else's creation and you still use her in your webcomic even though the original artist has begged you not to? I don't understand how this makes you any different... please explain this to me and I will remain a TRUE, LOYAL and HONEST fan!

Jasonla}}
{{EmailReply|It is terrible when they use my Sonichu and WRONGFULLY Portray him in ANYTHING [[homos|HOMOSEXUAL]]; IT IS JUST WRONG and AGAIN MISLABELING, and I will not stand for that. I Offered that Simona and Simonchu be Brother and Sister; Evan is still being an arrogant idiot towards me.}}

===Parents of a celebrity===
{{Email|From: Anthony Thiest <rationalparagon@yahoo.com>
Hey Chris, what's zappenin? I've been wondering, what do your parents think of Sonichu, the character and the comic? Do they read every issue you put out? I bet they brag to their friends about it, I know I would. What do they think about you achieving the internet fame that you have? Is it hard for them to live with a celebrity?

Keep zappin!

Anthony}}
{{EmailReply|My parents like the comic series. Not really. They do not have too many friends to brag to, plus they mostly stay at home. I am a celebrity, yet I am still a person. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:20, 13 January 2010 (CET)}}

===The internet never forgets===
{{Email|From: It's {{w|Gendo Ikari|Gendo}} <shinji.you.suck@gmail.com>

At some point in your life, you were told to memorize a sequence of nine numbers. These numbers, much like the [[Sonichu Balls]], unlock great opportunity in life -- as long as you remember what they are, of course. Your TRUE and LOYAL fanbase knows you have some trouble memorizing numbers, though. Why not put it on the internet? The internet never forgets anything. This might help you out later...

Gendo}}
{{EmailReply|I will take that under great consideration.}}

===Weed===
[[Image:DutchGuy.jpg|thumb|Portrait of a typical weed smoker.]]
{{Email|From: Marice

Dear Chris,

First of all, me and my friends am a big fan of Sonichu (I am still waiting for the official merchandise).

But one thing bothers me. Why are anti drugs statements made in the comics?
Im a Dutch fan, and am quite offended by this. We in the Netherlands smoke weed
(and it is legal). Drugs help people relax (because most people have busy lives/careers).
Also, we treat homosexuals like equals. and prostitution is legal. Which are both things you
and Sonichu don't like.

The Dutch fans would love a rectification of the whole anti-drug-, homo and prostitution matter, with
the message that "it is ok for Dutch people to be homo, do drugs, or visiting a prostitute,
as it is within the scope of the Dutch law" on the cwcipedia.
This would really encourage the Dutch (and any other progressive European countries for that matter) to keep reading the comics.

Greetings!

A Dutch Sonichu fan.

Picture of myself included, as a fan. For me, for you.}}
{{EmailReply|The statements are made, because I, Personally, am AGAINST those Drugs AND Homosexuality.}}

===Sure, all you have to do is quit the internet forever===
{{Email|From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com>

Chris-chan. Chris-chan.

This is the voice of your conscience baby...I just wanna check one thing out with you. You don't mind?

Chris-chan, honey, what's got into ya?}}
{{EmailReply|Oh, I don't know. How about a bunch of PEOPLE asking me OFFENSIVE QUESTIONS and making OFFENSIVE STATEMENTS constantly, CONTINUING TO MISLABEL ME and MY SONICHU WRONGFULLY, Trolls putting up OFFENSIVE ADVERTISEMENT IMAGES on MY Cwcipedia WITHOUT MY CONSENT, CONTINUALLY BEING RIDICULED AND TORMENTED. Can't I just be left be to draw Peacefully and NOT be OFFENDED, PICKED ON, MISLABELED, or TORMENTED, PLEASE?!!!

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:20, 13 January 2010 (CET)}}

===That's not what he's talking about===
{{Email|From: Sonny

Chris, I have a question.

You claim to respect women, but why is all of the (highly inappropriate) nudity in the comic geared towards men?

I know you don't want to turn women gay, y'know. So why haven't you put an equal portion of female-directed (highly inappropriate) nudity into the comic?

Not that it matters to me, because Alec doesn't bother with that disgusting shit in the first place (not turned on by hedgehog sex at all) and it greatly improve the quality of his comic as opposed to yours.}}
{{EmailReply|COME ON!!! BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?}}

===Because guys should never have fun with other guys===
[[Image:Joyboys.JPG|thumb|Not creepy at all.]]
{{Email|From: John Simpkins <joyofchristjoy@gmail.com>
Hello from a faithful reader!

I was reading the latest issue of Sonichu to my son, (a practice fast becoming tradition in my family!), and we both ended up quite taken by your idea of Christian Love Day. It's values of unbridled platonic friendship have truly touched our souls, and needless to say my family will join in the celebration! We're basing our festivities around your favorite things, so we plan on spending the day watching Family Guy, drinking refreshing Pepsi and eating some fine {{w|Soggy biscuit|soggy biscuits}}.

I have also gone to the trouble of making a "friendship card", which will be passed around to my church group and my sons' preschool in order to spread the word - I just want to get your approval on the design first! I've attached it to this email - on the inside I plan on putting one of your many sage quotes along with a link to the cwcipedia.

Please let me know what you think!

God bless and have a nice day.}}
{{EmailReply|Celebrating the day is nice. Yet, and I mean no offense, but your card is NOT GOOD; To promote Platonic Relationships, FEMALES need to be in there PLAYING WITH EACH MALE. Please correct the error. PLUS, PLEASE REMOVE that [[Asperchu]]; HE IS NOT MINE! Plus, DO NOT MAKE ANY CHARACTER LOOK [[retarded|RETARDED]]. I am sorry.}}

===Whores whores whores===
{{Email|From: Molly Trasi <trasirose@gmail.com>

Dear Chris,

Would you ever choose to have sex with a prostitute? If so, did you realize that it is illegal and you could end up in jail for a long time? Would you be uncomfortable knowing that she didn't really care about you at all and was just doing it for the money?
Sincerely,

A worried fan}}
{{EmailReply|No comment.}}

===No, I'm pretty sure that's Sonichu===
{{Email|From: Mandy Higgins <mariokart360@rocketmail.com>

I'm a big fan of Sonichu and Asperchu. My favorite Asperchu comic is the one where he teams up with Sonichu. Will you be doing a Sonichu comic where Sonichu meets and teams up with Asperchu any time in the near future? That would be way past cool.}}
{{EmailReply|Asperchu IS NOT MINE, and I do not and will not ever associate with him whatsoever, because he is such a retardedly-drawn and homosexually-portrayed piece of crap.}}

===Improvisation===
{{Email|From: Jose Luis Castillo Del Real <olan_montalvo@yahoo.es>

Hi Chris:

I love your sonichu comics, i was wondering how can you come up with new ideas for them always? it must be hard to find the inspiration for a new plot. I also want to start a comic someday, but i find difficult to develop a story.

anyways, keep it up with the amazing job! i'll be cheering you :D}}
{{EmailReply|Most of the time, I have the ideas in advance, yet at other times, I come up with something on-the-moment.}}

===Rosechu the transwoman===
{{Email|From: vhenderson@teachers.org

To Mr. Christian Weston Chandler,

Hello, Mr. Chandler. I am an [[English]] teacher at a small junior high school in Middle Tennessee, and I sponsor the school's chapter of the Gay/Straight Alliance. Over the winter break, I had a student make mention of your comic in an email as a topic for future discussion once class resumes. Upon review of your comic, I have found it to be most worthy of discussion. Your portrayal of transsexuals and hermaphrodites is very interesting. The character [[Rosechu]], for instance, fascinates me. Despite the labeling of being a female Raichu, I have gleamed from my research that she was actually a male Raichu, based on the pointedness of her tail. Then s/he was struck by a rainbow, transforming him/her into a lovely feminine being. This metaphor delights me! It is a very sensitive and positive portrayal of the struggle that transpeople endure when trying to determine and claim their identity. It is wonderful that you have allowed this character to find love and acceptance with a man, which is so often difficult in the real world. I have students who know the pain of being born into the body, and I am sure this will hearten them greatly. In addition, the character [[Magi-chan]] warms my heart in his obvious attraction to the character Silvana, even though she possessed the "wrong" genitalia at the time. The fact that he could see past the outer shell and to the person within is very sweet.

I must say though, that I object to Rosechu's characterization. She is a very stereotypical portrait of a transwoman, obsessed with maintaining her femininity to the point of ridiculousness. It is a tired cliche and an insult to all woman that their lives revolve around solely around their family and their vanity. In the future, I would like to see Rosechu develop interests outside her home and maxing out her credit card and become a better role model for young people struggling with their identities.

With deepest respect,

Ms. Veronica Henderson}}
{{EmailReply|LISTEN!!! READ PAGE 3 OF BOOK #1, IT SAYS CLEAR AS DAY THAT THE RAICHU WAS A '''GIRL RAICHU'''. There is NOTHING Transgender WHATSOEVER ABOUT ROSECHU, you MISLABELING, MISUNDERSTOOD INDIVIDUAL. She acts the way she dose is because she has ALWAYS BEEN FEMALE!!! I am so DAMN sick and tired of these Misunderstandings and Mislabelings!!! THIS IS A STRAIGHT COMIC SERIES AND SONICHU AND ROSECHU ARE STRAIGHT!!!!!!}}

===If he gave this response to every e-mail, he would actually be honest===
{{Email|From: coldpartjunior@yahoo.co.jp

Hi Chris I am a big fan from Japan & I was wondering if you could kill
anyone in the world who would it be and why? You can pick more than one
person.}}
{{EmailReply|I do not know.}}

===To be continued===
{{Email|From: Christie Savarin <virtualinsanitybangbangjam@yahoo.com>

Herro!

Dear Chris,

I read Sonichu for long long time,I have so many questions! so sorreh!
 1)If you could change the law, how would you change it? and you said you would outlaw the friend zone? why? what happened to a woman's right to choose who she wants to be with?
 2)Do you like everything you see, so long as it doesn't have gay stuff in it?
 3)If you could upload your brain into a robot body, would you?
 4)Why aren't you sure of the five worst games you've played? You can't have enjoyed every game you played.
 5)If you went back to college, what would you major in? What classes would you take?
 6)Why do you like the name "Reginald" so much?
 7)Did you know that nearly all male porn actors start out making gay porn? What do you think of this?
 8)Why did you get rid of asexuality in [[Sonichu 10]]? Hasn't it occurred to you that some people just don't like being in romantic relationships, and are much happier single?
 9)In a recent chat, you said that if you had a chance, you would want to make being a homo illegal. Yet, in a video contemporary to the chat, you ask your fans not to leave you. How would you feel if all of your gay fans left you?
 10)Have you ever considered getting your own apartment? What prevents you from doing so?
 11)If there were no women, and men could reproduce sexually with other men, would homosexuality still be wrong?
 12)Why do so many of your videos have a greenish-yellow tinge?
 13)You hate homos, but you also hate straight men for "taking all the pretty girls leaving none for you." Shouldn't you support homos, so that other men can date each other and free up girls for you?
 14)Sex isn't that big of a deal. It's fun, but you don't have to have sex to be happy. Why are you so big about sex?
 15)Would life be better if we reproduced nonsexually, and thus didn't have a sex drive?
 16)Since you haven't been very specific about your taste in women, who are your favorite porn stars?
 17)Do you have any friends in the [[Autistic]] community?

tanks 4 answerin!}}
{{EmailReply|I'll come back to you the next time I am answering a mailbag.}}
''On 15 January 2010, Chris lazily answered:''
{{EmailReply|Your Questions will be copied/pasted and Answered in the [[Common Questions|FAQ Section]]; please look there for your answers. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}
''Chris originally linked "FAQ Section" to his answered questions page. We have re purposed the link to go to our mirror of that page.''

===Dude, chill===
{{Email|From: {{w|Chang Yu-sheng|Chang Yu}} <drchangyu@yahoo.ca>
Dear Chris,

In an earlier response to a fanmail , you mentioned you had a simularity to the character played by Dustin Hoffman in the film Rain Man. Would you kindly mind listing your facinating abilitys? My daughter is autistic and a very big fan of your work, she has a gift with law and agues extreemly well in her law class, but unfortunately her speech impediment prevents some from understanding her. She wanted to ask you herself, but she has trouble writing and could not without my help.

FONDest regards

Chang Yu}}
{{EmailReply|I can not say right now, because I am stressed from having to CORRECT AND REEDUCATE PEOPLE ON ROSECHU BEING ALWAYS FEMALE AND SONICHU BEING STRAIGHT AND ASPERCHU NOT BEING MY CHARACTER!!!}}

===In which Chris fakes sorrow===
{{Email|From: flambai@hotmail.com

Dear CWC,

Well, you probably remember my 5 year old son, right?

The one who screamed and cried because his favourite characters weren't in the comic?

The one who NEARLY JUMPED IN FRONT OF A BUS BECAUSE OF IT?

Little Jimmy's basically catatonic now, he has to go to a therapist everyday and i don't know what to do

Dearly seeking your advice,

Sincerely

Sarah Lutt}}
{{EmailReply|I am sorry for your child's dilemna [sic]. I do not know either at the moment.}}

===In which Chris dives deep into denial===
{{Email|From: Uava <uava.lidelduhk@gmail.com>

So in a recent comic you met up with Meg from Family Guy and you clearly like her. However, according to Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, she gets a sex change later on and becomes a male named Ron. You could say that Stewie changing the future would have prevented but at the end she meets a guy named Ron and hints that she likes that name. Also, transsexuals can't be changed according to most psychologists and the only way to make them feel happy is to let them to transition to their true gender.

You are obviously not a homosexual, so I was wondering what you will do about this situation when it comes up.}}
{{EmailReply|That was ONE possible Future, and IT was CHANGED after Stewie stopped the tower from falling. Meg never gets a gender change EVER.}}

===CRASH INTO SLUMBER===
{{EmailReply|**I am so tired from all the stress. Will resume answering soon.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:20, 13 January 2010 (CET)}}
''Chris resumed answering letters in the very early hours of 16 [[January 2010]].

===Chris plans for the future===
{{Email|From: Faye Dexter <ecksdeexter@gmail.com>

You've said before that the job you most see yourself in is an "Office Job". I was wondering what you meant by that. There are many types of office jobs and they can be very different. For example: secretary and CEO positions can both be considered office jobs but they are very different. Your job would also depend on what the company does. For example: A web design company and a law firm are both office oriented companies but a law firm needs lawyers and paralegals(basically lawyer assistants) and a web design company would need programmers and graphic designers.

Just curious what your goals are.}}
{{EmailReply|Granted in what you have described, I am currently uncertain of my goals there at the moment. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason===
{{Email|From: Tran

Chris, please explain why you think Asperchu is crap.

Rules:

1. Do not use "It mocks me and my creation", as that is what a [[parody]] is supposed to do. I mean, Alec has said many times that he respects you, so it's really a benevolent(that means kindhearted, look it up) parody.

2. Do not just say "JUST LOOK AT IT" or "IT IS BAD". You need to tell us what you think of it and why. We are not mind-readers, we need details.}}
{{EmailReply|Because it is being '''WRONGFULLY shoved into my face constantly against my will,''' like if I was shackled to a chair in a Locked Windowless Room with some naked homosexual dude, and I had to endure him being in my face against my will.

That Is A NIGHTMARE to me, EVEN WORSE than the nightmare I had where I was in a factory and I watched PEOPLE lying on a conveyor belt with their mouths full of cigarettes, going through BURNING OVENS, coming out singed (not ON FIRE), then dunked into a huge tank of Alcohol that DISSOLVED THEM to DUST like ACID would do, and their remains would come out of the factory's smokestacks in puffs of smoke and ashes. And another detail, the Front of the factory is SKULL-SHAPED.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Shemales and man-tits===
{{Email|From: Desiree Flood <mammy2shoes@gmail.com>

Hey Chris, Laura here!

I've been reading a lot of your comic <s>as well as the AWESOME spinoff, Asperchu. I don't know why people can't just read and LOVE both.</s> Anyway, I have two questions.

1. It looks like you got "trolled" in your comic by Silvana! Did you have sex with her?! If so how did that even work? Did you put your penis in her butt? I know it LOOKED like meg, but she still had a penis!!! Would you ever have sex with a shemale?

2. You've also made mention of your breasts in your last video! I myself have had several kids and have found breast feeding to be an enlightening and emotional experience. When you have kids do you plan on breast feeding your kids?

Stay cool!

Laura}}
''Chris added the strikeouts because that's just what Chris does.''
{{EmailReply|Firstly, '''Asperchu is NOT MINE, it belongs ONLY to Alec Benson Leary, I AM NOT ASSOCIATED WITH EITHER HE OR HIS CHARACTER WHATSOEVER.''' You are '''SEVERELY WRONG''' to even call HIS comics a "Spin-off" from MINE.

Second, to answer your questions. 1) No, I did not have sex with Silvana; ONLY MAKING OUT. When Silvana takes the form of an ALL-Female individual, its dick is GONE. 2) I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite. 3) Maybe my WIFE will breast-feed, but I was referring to MY Man-Boobs, of which Alec was WRONGFULLY EXAGGERATING on HIS D***ED Asperchu character.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===It's probably more like 12===
{{Email|From: Derp
Hi Chris, let me first say I'm a huge fan of your comics and have been reading them for 3 years now.

I was wondering this: do you ever have any homosexual feelings toward your [[father]]? Because I think it would be a good addition to your comic. Maybe a four-way between you, your dad, Sonichu and Asperchu? I think that would be yum.

Oh, and how many [[Sonee]] have you fucked? I say 6, my friend says 9.}}
{{EmailReply|NO, NO, NO!!! I AM STRAIGHT!!! QUIT MAKING OFFENSIVE COMMENTS!}}

==Gone Forever==
===Mass murdering does not strike me as terribly kind===
{{Email|From: {{w|Puyo Puyo|puyopuyo}}{{w|Puyo Puyo Tsu|tsu}} @thegame.com
Hello Chris,

I am an ex-fan by the name of Arle Nadja. I became an ex-fan because recently, you showed signs of [[terrorism]] in your comic. When the [[4-cent_garbage.com|4-cent-garbage]] building fell, how many people died Chris? More than 100 people died Chris, and by your hands. Just because they [[troll]]ed you it makes it ok to kill them? Well, bringing down a building for making fun of you doesn't make it less of a terrorism act. I remember about 15 years ago, I decided to bring down a building. It had 6 stories and at least 34 people died in the explosion and most, if not all, by my own bare hands. What I am trying to say is that your comic supports terrorism and it reminds me too much of my horrible past, and I cannot stand to see such a homophobic, racist, and unpatriotic character such as you still alive. P.S. I am a woman, and I can say without a doubt, you do NOT support my rights, and you're a freak for wanting to secretly tape you and you "future" girlfriend. It's not only wrong, it's illegal if she says no. I think I speak for all women when I say no girl will sleep with you.

From your "EX"-Fan,

Arle Nadja}}

===Kissing cousins===
{{Email|From: fagassfighter@gmail.com

Here's a website to wipe away your idiotic misconceptions on cousin marriage. Also, it's not forbidden in the Bible:

[http://tinyurl.com/y8h7hpr]

Have a nice day.}}

===Chris should just end it already===
{{Email|From: ninjakumquat@gmail.com

Hi Chris! Have you ever considered committing suicide? Yes, I am aware the Bible states that suicide is an unforgivable sin, but seeing as you are Christian Weston Chandler, I think God might let that one slide. ;)

Thanks for reading this humble missive, and remember not to feed [[Barb]] after midnight!

- Cadpig, Asperchu's #1 Fan}}

===See, it's funny because it's true!===
{{Email|From: jamie tyler <jamie.tyler112@gmail.com>

You're such a fucking dumbass, it is unbelievable. After over 30 mailbags, you still don't realize that. You're a fag, ugly, stupid, smelly piece of shit. You rip off everything you like, you make references to things that don't make sense ([[Captain's Log|Captains Log]]? [[Monthy Python]]?), you claim to be a Christian yet don't follow the Bible (you're for pre-martial sex but against cousin marriage? It's the reverse in the Bible lol) you are racist, sexist, egotistical, and overall, just one big pile of shit.}}

===Alec-Chan makes everything better===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan [[Asperchu]] <albasperchu@live.com>
Hello Christian,

You haven't responded to my previous letters, such as when I Asked you how ASPERCHU can be a parody of the Sonichu when ASPERCHU has the Aspergers, which is NOT linked to the autism that Sonichu has. But my disappointment in you for not Answering the Challenge as a true MAN would do is not why I write today. I write not with a sword, but with an Olive Branch, as I only wanted to show you the latest page of Issue #1 (My fifth issue!), in which I bring in the Chaotic Combo. It seems you have not featured the Combo much of late in your Sonichu comic, so I have taken the Combo to give them the limelight they so deserve.

Also, as Evan Christopher George asked you repeatedly to kill his character Simonlachu (as it is his character, only EVAN holds the copyright to use it), in despondent grief Evan came to me and asked for my help. I agreed to help him, and so I will be taking Simonlachu (who I have changed back into the original Simonchu, as Evan requested) to be in my ASPERCHU comic from here on out, to do with as Evan requests me to do. All further appearances of the Simonchu in your comic will thenceforth be either dreams, or hallucinations, or just NOT canon, just to let you know - I didn't want you to accidentally write Simonchu into your pages again thinking he was really there, which he will NOT be.

Take care,

Alec Benson Leary}}
''It should be noted that Chris deleted this e-mail the same night he [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010|tried to communicate to Alec through his blog]]. It would seem that he didn't really want to talk after all.''

===Medical study===
{{Email|From: vidkun quisling <iheartthepope@hotmail.com>

Hey Christian!

It's great that you're answering fan mail now! I was wondering since you're going almost completely bald if you've ever considered drawing a bald Sonichu without any hair? What color would the skin underneath be?

I have also wondered if [[Sonichus]] can be born with any genetic diseases or abnormalities like Autism/[[Asperger's]], Progeria, Muscular Dystrophy, or Manic Depression. Do Sonichus get the same diseases as humans? Like the flu or the AIDS? Are people with the AIDS even allowed in [[CWCville]]?

Yours in Christ,

[[wikipedia:Vidkun Quisling|Vidkun Quisling]]}}

===On Chris's total lack of sorrow.===
{{Email|From: {{w|Quincy Magoo|Magoo}}

Chris, here is how a normal apology goes:

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." This is without prompting.

You, on the other hand, need to be prompted into apologizing for insulting someone, and even then, we get this:

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, but I WAS PROVOKED! IT'S NOT MY FAULT, THEY MADE ME DO IT BLAH BLAH BLAH JACK THADDEUS BLAH CLYDE CASH BLAH KILL YOURSELVES peace"

Instead of accepting the blame, you try to shift it the moment you think you'll have to hold it.

Apoligies have no "buts", Chris.

Heck, we're going to quit even faster now.}}

{{Mailbag}}

PlayStation 4

2021-09-14T15:07:58Z

Rtucker913: /* PS4 games Chris owns */ Organizing

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}
{{Needs Updating}}

The '''PlayStation 4''' is a [[video game]] console created by [[Sony]], originally released in North America on 15 [[November 2013]]. It is the best selling console of [[Wikipedia:History of video game consoles (eighth generation)|the eighth generation of gaming]], alongside the [[HEXbox|HEXbox One]] (with the [[Nintendo|Wii U]] trailing behind in sales but never falling off the market share). At least 109.05 million consoles have been sold by [[April 2020]].<ref>https://www.vgchartz.com/analysis/platform_totals/</ref>

Despite his fanaticism for [[PlayStation 3|the system's predecessor]] (and his [[Chris and money|tendency to spend hundreds of dollars on games for it]]), for two years following its release Chris made no indication of wanting to buy the life upgrade upgrade. This was most likely due to his [[Chris and health|family's health problems]] (compounded by his [[28 October 2011|run-in with the law]]) draining him of funds - as evidenced by him [[May 2014 Facebook Posts|repeatedly begging people to give him money/buy him LEGO sets]]. He did, however, show contempt for its competition - [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart|getting banned from his local Walmart for defacing an Xbox One standee]] - but this was the only thing he had to say about the modern "console wars" (which have been intense enough to be dramatized in ''[[South Park]]'', among other places). True to form, though, this would change in [[February 2016]], around [[Chris's birthday|his 34th birthday]]. He also purchased a Wii U sometime later.

The PS4's successor, PlayStation 5, was released in [[November 2020]] at a starting price of $399 and has yet to be purchased by Chris. This purchase is [[August 2021 Arrest and Court Case|unlikely to be made anytime soon]].

==The birthday saga==
===The outset===
On the first of the month, Chris [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#GIMME STUFF FOR MY BIRTHDAY|asked for a PS4 and PlayStation Camera on Facebook]] alongside a slew of specifications - notably, he [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Not Dizzy Enough To Beg For PS4!|would later specify]] a white ''Destiny'' bundle. Whomsoever saw fit to waste their hard-earned money on this gift would be "reimbursed" with a $500 voucher for Chris's [[Etsy]] shop - Chris naturally believing that his comics, [[medallions]], and [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are worth hundreds of dollars. In fact, a $500 voucher would probably allow the donator to buy everything in the shop and still have around $50 in now-useless funds to spare. Having already given extremely specific demands for this "gift", Chris would [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#A Beg Big Note|further elaborate]] that buying him ''anything less'' than the ''Destiny'' bundle ''and'' camera would reduce the value on the voucher.

===Sorry, but really though give me a PS4===
The twelfth would see Chris upload [[Apologies for offending people|a video]] that opens with a customarily insincere apology - though he openly states he doesn't understand why anyone would be offended - then ''reiterates his demands'' at the end of the video.

===Things go sour===
Incredibly, February 24th came and went without anyone sending him a PS4 - instead, [[weens]] sent Chris worthless gift cards and a losing lottery ticket. A day later, he would upload [[Update: 2/25/16|another video]] complaining about this. Bizarrely, Chris appeared to have been so confident that someone would send him an expensive video game console that he became somewhat depressed when they didn't.

==Chris finally gets one==
[[Image:20160305081202.jpg|thumb|Chris using PS4 applications - the first bit of evidence that he had purchased one.]]

However, despite all his whining, it transpired on 5 [[March 2016]] that he had, in fact, obtained a PS4. It was widely held that Chris had just bought it for himself, but Chris credited a "Miss Kagney Lynn Moore from Seattle, Washington" as the ludicrously magnanimous donor. Closer examination of his Facebook page and of the order details showed that, of course, Chris had just bought it himself. The name of the fictional donor could be derived from Kagney Lynn Karter and Kevin Moore, who have appeared in [[Sex toys|porn films]] together.

==Epilogue==
Having spent hundreds of dollars on a toy, Chris began to beg incessantly for donations he did nothing to earn shortly after in [[HELP, PLEASE!!!|many videos]].

==PS4 games Chris owns==
<center> {{PSNTracker}}</center>

'''Note:''' This table only covers games Chris has earned at least one trophy in. Another table is shown below covering games that are at 0% and he has evidently not touched. A full list can be seen on his PSN profile, [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu here].

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
||''[[LEGO]] [[Wikipedia:Lego Dimensions|DIMENSIONS]]''
|78
|100%
|A "[[toys]]-to-life" game (ala ''Skylanders'' or [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]]) that is rather infamous for [[Chris and money|being much more expensive]] than its competitors.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Life Is Strange|Life is Strange]]''
|61
|100%
|
|-
|''My Name is Mayo''
|51
|100%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Ratchet & Clank (2016 video game)|Ratchet & Clank]]''
|47
|100%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Life Is Strange: Before the Storm|Life is Strange: Before the Storm]]''
|35
|100%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Order: 1886|The Order: 1886]]''
|22
|100%
|
|-
|''Level 22''
|21
|100%
|
|-
|''[[Sonic]] [[Wikipedia:Sonic Mania|Mania]]''
|18
|100%
|
|-
|''Letter Quest Remastered''
|12
|100%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Three Fourths Home|Three Fourths Home: Extended Edition]]''
|7
|100%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back|Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back]]''
|22
|87%
|
|-
|''[[Sonic Forces]]
|45
|80%
|Chris purchased three copies of this game, each for different consoles.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Crash Bandicoot (video game)|Crash Bandicoot]]''
|21
|80%
|
|-
|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] Legacy of the Duelist''
|17
|80%
|
|-
|''Back to Bed''
|13
|80%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Gone Home|Gone Home]]''
|9
|71%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back|Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back]]''
|10
|68%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Bendy and the Ink Machine|Bendy and the Ink Machine]]''
|16
|52%
|
|-
|''[[PaRappa the Rapper]] Remastered''
|19
|51%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Don't Die, Mr. Robot!|Don't Die, Mr. Robot!]]''
|7
|38%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Minecraft|Minecraft]]: PlayStation 4 Edition''
|38
|31%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Burnout Paradise|Burnout Paradise]] Remastered''
|25
|31%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Giana Sisters: Twisted Dreams|Giana Sisters: Twisted Dreams]] - Director's Cut''
|6
|31%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Lego Worlds|LEGO Worlds]]''
|26
|29%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Crash Bandicoot: Warped|Crash Bandicoot: Warped]]''
|10
|23%
|
|-
|''[[Little Big Planet]] [[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet 3|3]]''
|10
|21%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune|Uncharted: Drakes' Fortune]] Remastered''
|15
|20%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Roundabout (video game)|Roundabout]]''
|4
|20%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:PaRappa the Rapper 2|PaRappa the Rapper 2]]''
|4
|19%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Bit.Trip#The_Bit.Trip|THE BIT.TRIP]]''
|9
|18%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Freedom Planet|Freedom Planet]]''
|3
|15%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Pure Chess|Pure Chess]]''
|3
|14%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Minecraft: Story Mode|Minecraft: Story Mode]]''
|7
|13%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Disney Afternoon Collection|The Disney Afternoon Collection]]''
|2
|10%
|
|-
|''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]''
|7
|10%
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Skylanders: SuperChargers|Skylanders SuperChargers]]''
|5
|9%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:DC Universe Online|DC Universe Online]]''
|5
|8%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Destiny (video game)|Destiny]]''
|6
|7%
|Star of [[CWC's Destiny start|a "Let's Play"]] (that was [[Brutal Legend|completely silent]], thanks to Chris's cluelessness).
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Sword Art Online: Lost Song|Sword Art Online: Lost Song]]
|4
|6%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Playroom (2013 video game)|THE PLAYROOM]]''
|2
|6%
|A collection of AR minigames built into the system. Most notable for being banned from streaming after a man [[Chris and sex|stripped and groped his drunk wife]] live.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Shovel Knight|Shovel Knight]]''
|4
|5%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Tetris Ultimate|Tetris Ultimate]]''
|1
|4%
|
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:ZombiU|ZOMBI]]''
|3
|4%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Skylanders: Trap Team|Skylanders Trap Team]]''
|2
|3%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Cyberdimension Neptunia: 4 Goddesses Online|Cyberdimension Neptunia: 4 Goddesses Online]]''
|2
|2%
|-
|''[[God of War]]''
|2
|2%
|
|-
|''[[Guitar Hero]] [[Wikipedia:Guitar Hero Live|Live]]''
|2
|2%
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Mother Russia Bleeds|Mother Russia Bleeds]]
|2
|2%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Skylanders: Swap Force|Skylanders SWAP Force]]''
|2
|2%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mighty No. 9|Mighty No. 9]]''
|1
|1%
|
|-
|''[[Transformers]] [[Wikipedia:Transformers: Devastation|Devastation]]''
|1
|1%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Payday2|PAYDAY 2: Crimewave Edition]]''
|1
|1%
|Bought and played under the influences of [[Idea Guys]].
|-
|}

===Games at 0%===
Chris has 29 games that have been purchased but without trophies or progress which can be assumed to have not been booted up.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Release Date
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted 2: Among Thieves|Uncharted 2: Among Thieves]] Remastered''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Hitman Go|Hitman GO]]: Definitive Edition''
|2016
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception|Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception]] Remastered''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Toy Soldiers: War Chest|Toy Soldiers War Chest]]''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Helldivers|HELLDIVERS]]''
|2015
|-
|''The Treasures of Montezuma 4''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:PixelJunk Shooter|PixelJunk Shooter]] Ultimate''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Swapper|The Swapper]]''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Hohokum|Hohokum]]''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Infamous Second Son|inFAMOUS Second Son]]''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Woah Dave!|Woah Dave!]]''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Retro City Rampage|Retro City Rampage]] DX''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Race the Sun (video game)|Race The Sun]]''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Grim Fandango|Grim Fandango]] Remastered''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Killzone Shadow Fall|Killzone Shadow Fall]]''
|2013
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Call of Duty: Black Ops III|Call of Duty: Black Ops III]]''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Nova-111|Nova-111]]''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Thomas Was Alone|Thomas Was Alone]]''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Terraria|Terraria]]''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Hotline Miami|Hotline Miami]]''
|2014
|-
|''Invokers Tournament''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Knack (video game)|KNACK]]''
|2013
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Lone Survivor (video game)|Lone Survivor]]''
|2013
|-
|''Shütshimi''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Doom (2016 video game)|DOOM]]''
|2016
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Overwatch (video game)|Overwatch: Origins Edition]]''
|2016
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Psycho-Pass: Mandatory Happiness|Psycho-Pass: Mandatory Happiness]]''
|2016
|-
|''Uncanny Valley''
|2017
|}
{{Template:Relics of Fail}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Kacey Call 1

2021-09-14T15:05:33Z

Rtucker913: /* Transcript */

{{quote|Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep [[Chris and sex|bangin']] your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my [[comeuppance]]!... And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna [[Homos|lick it]] off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue sharing MOMENT!|Chris, not being creepy or fucked-up whatsoever}}

'''Kacey Call 1''' is the very first in the [[Kacey calls]] series, taking place on 3 [[August 2009]].

On that very day, [[Solid Chris]] called [[Kacey]] while attempting to impersonate [[Liquid Chris]], and described how he would pleasure her. Hilarity and fail ensues. Most of the call, Chris forgets he's pretending to be Liquid, but Kacey, quickly knowing that this isn't the [[TRUE and HONEST]] CWC, manages to play along.
== Summary ==
• For the entire call, Solid Chris impersonate Liquid Chris, although poorly. 
• Most of the conversation is Chris trying to guess answers to Kacey's questions. 
• Kacey says Chris's singing makes her horny, so Chris keeps trying to sing every few minutes. 
• Chris really wants Kacey to come to 14BC. 
• Kacey asks Chris about their first time having sex, Chris tries to bullshit his way through. 
• BDSM phonesex, also Chris wants to cum on Kacey's tits then lick the cum off her. 
• Solid Chris keeps complimenting himself to look better in the eyes of Kacey. 
• Chris was born in Washington Jefferson hospital. 
• Chris gives Kim's information to Kacey so she can find out more about Solid. 
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|M0nDyBBgsRo}}
| Stardate = August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Kacey Call 1.5]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
'''Chris:''' Hello?

'''Kacey:''' Hey honey! Oh my god, it's so good to hear your voice again; it's me, Kacey! How are you?

'''Chris:''' Hey Kayce! I'm good. You sound like it's goin' good. ['''Kacey:''' overlaps: "Ah, I love when you call me that!"]

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, I'm so happy cuz I got to talk to you! I missed you all day today. It sucked being in school. I can't believe it's almost finals.

'''Chris:''' Aww, yeah, I know, summer finals, right?

'''Kacey:''' I know, I don't know why I did summer session, it's just... I don't know. You know that I'm really, ''really'' into intelligent guys; which is why I love you. And I've, you know, gotta do the same. So how's school for you? ['''Chris:''' overlaps: "Aaahhh..."]

'''Chris:''' Oh, things have been great for me, you know, I just finished the [[Sonichu 9|dating episode]]; it is ''fantastic''.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, well that's cool, but what does that have to do with school?

'''Chris:''' ...Uh, you know, the [[comic|comics]], so I just... I felt like finishing it up, so I finished it...

'''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh, I get what you're saying! Oh, that is so cool!

'''Chris:''' The dating education episode. It's on the [[CWCipedia]].

'''Kacey:''' Oh, that's awesome. I'm gonna have to check it out, because, you know, that is of course what led me to you in the first place. ['''Chris:''' overlaps: "Oh, yeah."] But, um, what about actual school? 'Cuz I know you had classes today too!

'''Chris:''' Ohhh, yeah... Oh, yeah, they were very tough on me, but, I felt like I take a break, finish up my comic work, and get that outta the way, y'know?

'''Kacey:''' Oh, I get what you're saying; you're gonna do everything tomorrow, well, that... that's so cool of you, I mean, at least you're being serious about it, but you're not being ''too'' serious. So, um, when are your finals? Are they next week, too?

'''Chris:''' Mmm, yeah, only got... I only got one to go, y'know? One more test to go, and then I'm done.

'''Kacey:''' Oh god, you're so lucky, cuz my finals, like, they don't even start 'til next week, so... Which one's your last one again? I can't remember, I'm ''[laughs]'' sorry.

'''Chris:''' ...I'm sorry, what was that question? I didn't quite understand it.

'''Kacey:''' Sorry. ''[laughs]'' You know I talk fast 'cuz I'm so excited to be talking to you. Um, so-

'''Chris:''' It's all right.

'''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' So which one's your last final? I totally forgot.

'''Chris:''' Which one's my last, uh, fina- my last final?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, is it the same one, you know, that same class we have together?

'''Chris:''' Aaahhh... No, it's not, no, it's not that one... Uuhhh... I'm trying to think of the name. I'm trying to think of it... Um... Oh, yeah, it's the one where I'm doing, uh... It's the one where, uh... working with, uh, I think it's... I think I'm working in Photoshop, something like that, with the... ahh, so much going on in my head right now...

'''Kacey:''' Oh, oh, it's your...databasing and, uh, computer graphics class! Oh, that's right!

'''Chris:''' Yes! My computer graphics class. Yes, that's it.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, okay. God, and, I've seen some of your work since you sent it to me, and lemme just tell you, you are ''so'' frickin' amazing, like, I cannot ''wait'' to see you this weekend.

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, you know my address, right? You got [[Wikipedia:MapQuest|MapQuest]] to come all the way over?

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I've got a GPS system, you know that, sweetie!

''[Chris and Kacey both stammer a bit]''

'''Chris:''' ''[high-pitched]'' Oh, that's right, you told me about the GPS! I totally forgot!

'''Kacey:''' I got it for my birthday this year, remember? So, um... yeah, I've already got it plugged in, and... it's gonna be so much fun, so... do you remember our last time together, you know, our, uh, our third date? ''[giggles]''

'''Chris:''' Ah, [[Third date|date number three]]... mmm... oh, I've been so busy with, uh, with studying for the finals. It's just that so much of the details are plaguing my mind at the moment!

'''Kacey:''' Oh, I know. But it was so magical. I have never, ever been with someone so sensual, and just so in tune to me. I can NOT wait to see you again. So maybe you can give me a sneak preview of what you're going to do the next time I see you?

'''Chris:''' I'm gonna rock your world, baby.

'''Kacey:''' ''[laughing]'' Oh, Chris, you are so hot. God, I don't know how you do it. So stop teasing me, you've gotta give me more.

'''Chris:''' It- It just comes natural to me, I guess. I got a deep sensual voice, you know. I definitely got the {{w|Bing Crosby}} tune, baby, you know I been raised on [[music]]! My dad was a technical engineer! Got all them patents and everything!

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God, Chris! I love it when you talk like that! God, so, you know when [[SingStar Challenge Round 2|you sang Fresh Prince]] today, you know I looove that. Oh my God, like you know that white boy rap? Oh my God. You were amazing, almost as amazing as last time I saw you.

'''Chris:''' Aw yeah, before that, yeah. Y'know I'm into hippin'- I'm hippin' to soo many hippin' tunes right now. But you know, I like to just... uh, sometimes I like to look back, at my favorite hits and just uh, listen to them you know? Ah, you know I definitely did like [[Sonic]] Boom and Don't Say You Love Me, too bad- ah, too bad I got beaten to the punch on those. Uh yeah...

'''Kacey:''' God, I know, I was so hoping you would do something like that. I mean, maybe you could do {{w|*NSYNC}} next? I love [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special|"Tearin' Up My Heart"]]. Could you do that one for me?

'''Chris:''' I got bears- you know what? - I got bears- I got a better song I'm planning on next one. Uh, here's a little preview. Hang on.

'''Kacey:''' Awesome. AWESOME. Thank you! ''[giggles]''

'''Chris:''' Hang on. Hang on. Hush-hush-hush!

'''Kacey:''' Aww.

'''Chris:''' ''[shouts]'' [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|YOU GOT THE TOUCH. YOU GOT THE POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER, YEAH!]]

'''Kacey:''' Oh Chris. Your voice... well, you know what it does to me. It gets me so hot.

'''Chris:''' Ohhhh yeah.

'''Kacey:''' So tell me how much you like when I get hot.

'''Chris:''' Oohhhh, I'm lovin' it.

'''Kacey:''' What are you gonna do to me Chris? I mean, love songs are wonderful, I know you've got lots of ideas in your head.

'''Chris:''' It'll be like the first time all over again, girl. You know I enjoyed the first time.

'''Kacey:''' I know, just the way you looked at me-

'''Chris:''' ''[interrupting]'' I'd like ta, I'd like ta, I'm definitely gonna try to repeat the encore, repeat as best as I can, you know. You know, to the best of my memory, even though I been messin' up stuff for the finals and whatevurrr, so...

'''Kacey:''' So did you remember what I wanted you to do next time?

'''Chris:''' Aww... shoot.

'''Kacey:''' Chris, how could you forget!

'''Chris:''' Oh, you know... lemme take a guess, lemme take a guess! Uh, you want me to caress your breasts?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, that's one of them, but I wanted to do something a little more adventurous! I can't believe you forgot, you seemed so excited!

'''Chris:''' ''[in a high-pitched whine]'' OH YEAH I'M SO EXCITED! I just can't hide it.

'''Kacey:''' I guess I'll forgive you this time, but I totally, absolutely wanted you to tie me up and let me be at your mercy. I mean doesn't that sound awesome?

'''Chris:''' AWW YEAH THAT DOES SOUND FUCKIN' AWESOME.

'''Kacey:''' Ok well since I told you that you have to tell me what you're gonna do to me because come on, you know I love it when you talk dirty to me.

'''Chris:''' Aww, talk dirty to me! Duh-duh.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, god. Please do.

'''Chris:''' Mmmmmmm... oh yeah.

'''Kacey:''' Do it for me, your sweet little Kacey-kase.

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah. I gonna... you just gonna love this. You uh, I'll be showin', I'll be presentin' myself to you, you'll be lovin' my [[duck|dick]], it's so big and all that you know, and you just, I'll be puttin' it, between your tits while you're all TIED UUUP!

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God that sounds so good! Like, I'm like crying because it sounds so wonderful! Keep telling me more!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm just going to get that girl...

'''Kacey:''' I'm actually starting to touch my tits right now, so keep telling me more. Keep telling me more.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my [[comeuppance]]!

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I can't wait to lick it off. I'm gonna be so, so hot. This is the Chris I know and love. Thank you!

'''Chris:''' And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna lick it off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue-sharing MOMENT!

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God, you know I love shotgunning like that. God Chris, you're even a little spicier than last time. What's gotten into you?

'''Chris:''' ''[sings]'' VANILLA HOT HOT SPICY BABY.

'''Kacey:''' So Chris... um, so what are you doing right now, y'know, are you uh, doing the same thing?

'''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh, you know... yeah, I'm just I'm... yeah, I'm getting turned on. I'm just rubbing myself thinking about it!

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God, Chris! It's gonna be so much better when I'm really there, though. I can't wait to see you, I can't believe I'm actually going to go to your house, and be with you and it's gonna be awesome.

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah. You know it, girl. You know it so well.

'''Kacey:''' And I mean, I just can't help getting hot thinking again about all your music videos, just... oh my gosh, I remember so much better than I poss-

'''Chris:''' ''[interrupting to mangle REO Speedwagon while Kacey giggles]'' You can't fight that feeling anymore... I've forgotten what I started fighting for... it's just so much listen to the shore... and I can't fight this feeling anymore.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, well, you know I hate to spoil the mood, but I mean you're just so much better than that brown-shirted... or that shirted impostor. I mean, I love your brown shirts way more.

'''Chris:''' Mmm...

'''Kacey:''' Sorry, I'm getting so confused right now, because I'm just so hot right now. I'm so glad you-

'''Chris:''' ''[interrupting]'' Yeah, but you know I actually do have a red, white and blue-striped shirt ''in'' my closet.

'''Kacey:'''You do? Why don't you wear it then? I mean, I guess that would make you too much like the impostor.

'''Chris:''' I don't know, because you know... just been trying to separate myself from the impostor I guess, I mean red, white and blue, you know, was my original roots, I mean look at back in the early pages of my books! Red, white and blue all the way, girl!

'''Kacey:''' ''[sighs]'' Well...

'''Chris:''' ''[plows on]'' I just had to separate myself from the impostor somehow. And you know how I rapped the [[PaRappa contest]]? I wore an orange shirt then, girl.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, I guess... okay, well I mean, just that impostor, I know he's really, really, really getting to you.

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, he's been getting to me. Giving me... wracking at my NERVES! ''[tard rage]'' Just really turning me... urgh! Making me so angry!

'''Kacey:''' God I know, he pisses me off too. I can't believe he's trying to be you when you're just so much sexier, hotter... ''[Chris overlapping: Yeah, yeah]'' I mean, his voice doesn't even sound like yours!

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I mean, can you believe him? I mean he just looks so... aw shoot, what's the word I'm trying think of... oh yeah, he looks so soph-moric!

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, he does, I, I guess, I mean...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean the impostor looks like he's got to be about 13 or 15, does not have the diploma or the degrees, OR the certificate I had from the waterboy on the [[Manchester High School#Go Lancers!|varsity basketball team]] during my freshman year!

'''Kacey:''' Right, um... what are you talking about?

'''Chris:''' Aw, I'm just on a roll here, you know. I'm just trying- I'm just trying to- I've been-

'''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' I mean, 'cause-

'''Chris:''' One five minute note or you know... ah, he's telling me history or like um... I got my truths, you know. He's just bringing me all the counter-evidence and I've got to fight back with the real deal.

'''Kacey:''' Oh oh, you mean when he was trying to duel you in [[Spanish]] and he showed that fake certificate with a fake [[Sonichu]] picture. Oh oh, okay, I get it, 'cause you were confusing me for a minute there, at first I thought that you were suggesting that you were the fat impostor, and you know, I was getting worried for a minute there.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Well, you... well, I don't know about this and that but I tell you what... you are definitely talking to the real deal, baby. You know I'm going to ROCK YOUR WORLD.

'''Kacey:''' ''[sighs]'' Yeah, you totally, totally are. I mean, like you said, next time we're going to try the strap-ons, and I can't wait for that!

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Let's do it after this, after this, after this one time, the first time this weekend, y'know... yeah, tie me down...

'''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' Oh right, like start out slow like that and... oh yeah, I get it, y'know... do you dominant first, then me dominant... I gotcha! ''[giggles]''

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah.

'''Kacey:''' I mean, I know you said you couldn't wait... but I could do it for you Chris, definitely do it for you.

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah. ''[voice gets high pitched]'' OH YEAH!

'''Kacey:''' You know baby, I might skip school tomorrow and head down tomorrow, how does that sound?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Tomorrow... hmm.

'''Kacey:''' I mean, finals are until next week, I can skip this week if you want me to spend the whole week with you, get a little good-luck lovin', you know?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Oh yeah, that sounds good, that sounds... yeah, that sounds very good. Mmm. So what time do you think you could be at my place?

'''Kacey:''' Well, let's see, you're only an hour and a half away, so six p.m. maybe?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. six p.m... mmm. Yeah, that sounds do-able. Six p.m.!

'''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' Do-able, just like me, right?

'''Chris:''' ''[sings]'' DO-ABLE BABY!

'''Kacey:''' Can you cook me something for dinner, something delicious?

'''Chris:''' Uuurgh.

'''Kacey:''' And maybe afterwards a [[guitar]] serenade? You know, cause your songs put me in the mood. That's all I want, I want a delicious dinner and a guitar serenade where you sing, you know that last song you sung me just like last time, can you please repeat it for me? Can you at least sing a little bit right now?

'''Chris:''' ''[sighs]'' Hmmm, hang on a minute let me a minute, let me reflect in my memory here. My well audiograped memory my father entrusted me with well by teaching me so much music.

'''Kacey:''' Of course! ''[giggles]''

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah. ''[sings]'' [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! IT'S TRUE!]]

'''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]''No, no, not the one you sang for the impostor, the one you sang for me on our last date.

'''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry...

'''Kacey:''' I know, it's easy to get confused.

'''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]''Yeah, I'm kind of a little bit confused myself, it's been a long day.

'''Kacey:''' Aw, I know, I know. I mean, you're doing so well since, you know, considering what you're majoring in and everything.

'''Chris:''' ...Yeah! [[Computer Aided Drafting and Design]]!

'''Kacey:''' Did you change your major? What?

'''Chris:''' No, that's BEEN my major.

''[long pause]''

'''Kacey:''' ...Okay.

'''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]'' That's my major, Computer Aided Drafting and Design.

'''Kacey:''' Oh... that's, uh, weird. But anyway, what are you gonna cook for me? You know, for the date?

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Hm, I could definitely whip up a, uh, pretty good stew for you.

'''Kacey:''' Oooh, a stew, what type of stew?

'''Chris:''' Oh you know, with the tomatoes and the vegetables and the whatnot.

'''Kacey:''' You know, I thought you were a little more ambitious than that. I mean, stew sounds good still, but isn't that better maybe for a winter getaway?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Kacey:''' How about you make my favorite? I told you about my favorite the other day, can you make it?

'''Chris:''' ''[mumbling]'' Umm...your favorite..uhh...your favorite, your favorite. Uhh. Boy I wore myself out getting excited and I can't even remember too clearly.

'''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' That was my fault, I'm so sorry! But you know, talking to you, just makes me want to, you know. ''[giggles]''

'''Chris:''' YEAH.

'''Kacey:''' But it's just chicken risotto, so will you be able to do that for me?

'''Chris:''' Risotto's...

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, maybe make a little video of you making it for me so that, uh, I can see how much love and awesomeness you're putting into it.

'''Chris:''' Uhh...I don't know if, I don't know if I mean, to make it, to have a video up in the amount of time before you get here, but I would definitely cook you a risotto.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, awesome. So anyway, I like what you said to that impostor about him not having a [[sweetheart]], because I mean, if he had a sweetheart he really would, you know, make her a judge, don't you think? Because if you didn't make me a judge I would have been so pissed off. So I mean, what do you think about that?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... I'm sorry, you got me confused there, could you start from the beginning and go slow please?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah! Oh, sorry, sorry, I just got so excited talking to you. ''[giggles]''

'''Chris:''' It's okay.

'''Kacey:''' So, um, you know how you told the impostor? The impostor doesn't have a heartsweet on his judge's panel. Do you think that's because he doesn't have one?

'''Chris:''' Hmm... oh yeah, that's, that's very likely but you know, I did realize that I apparently did take observation and notice, that actually one of them is a uh, is a real-life close gal-pal by the name of, uh, I think [[Kim Wilson]]?

'''Kacey:''' Oh, he's-you think he has a girlfriend named Kim Wilson? How do you know that? You are so awesome!

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, I know I'm awesome. ''[laughs]'' Yeah but yeah no, I've just been hearing news talk between, you know, here and there and the [[fanbase]], yadda yadda yadda. No, but they're just basically, they're just friends. Besides, I heard that Kim has been together with this tough dude named, uh, Logan, and they have two German shepherds.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, I love German shepherds, but, um-

'''Chris:''' ''[interrupts]'' ARF!

'''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' But, um, would that mean that you still like her, though? I mean-

'''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh no no no no...

'''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' Er, HE likes her?

''[Pause]''

'''Chris:''' Uh, uh no no no. No, they've always been friends. I mean, you know, he had to know why though because she was already taken, in order to establish like guys do, to actually be with her or not, you know.

'''Kacey:''' Well, you know, the impostor's never gonna get anyone anyway, he's not as awesome as you. You know, I just fell for you right off the bat. I mean, he's just such a fatty and you're thin and you're hot, and your [[medallion]] is so much better.

'''Chris:''' ...Oh yes. Nothing like the real deal.

'''Kacey:''' And your flowing locks, I mean, come on. What's with that [[hair|haircut]]?

'''Chris:''' Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his mom probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh..I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.

'''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' You're gonna get your mom to cut your hair? Oh Chris, oh you, I get it, you're joking. You're so funny.

'''Chris:''' Oh...I might be, but then again I might be serious, you never know.

'''Kacey:''' Well you are full of surprises.

'''Chris:''' ''[shouting]'' I AM FULL OF SURPRISES! ''[pause]'' I am full of surprises, woman, you know me. I am full of surprises.

'''Kacey:''' I know you, I definitely, definitely know you. So tell me about some of these surprises. Spoil me, please.

'''Chris:''' ''[laughs]'' Ahh, okay. Hmm, surprises surprises..yes...well, you'll have to see my [[house]], it'll definitely look so much familiar to you...if you look anywhere on the internet you'll recognize my house.

'''Kacey:''' Oh my god, it's just gonna say you. It's just gonna say "[[Christian Weston Chandler]]", right?

'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry...

'''Kacey:''' You know, figuratively?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, the house pretty much screams Christian Weston Chandler. You know my [[car]] has a license plate that says "SONICHU" on it.

'''Kacey:''' Does it? Wow, that's so funny because the impostor has one just like that! You would think they wouldn't let two tags be the same.

'''Chris:''' ''[high-pitched]'' Yeah, I know!

'''Kacey:''' Oh my god, that has got to be, like, the worst coincidence ever. I can't believe he did that to you.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I know! Yeah, you know, one thing I'm definitely going to share with you after you get here? My original hand-drawn pages. You're just gonna enjoy seeing them, the original hand-drawn, unaltered, from the computer, you will definitely see the hand-drawn resemblance.

'''Kacey:''' Well yeah I've seen them before. But I can't wait to see...I guess you know, new ones and stuff? So um, really quick, did you get my picture that I sent you?

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, I saw it. NICE.

'''Kacey:''' Nice? Okay. What did you think about the color shirt I was wearing?

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah... RED. The only thing that's missing is white and blue! Other than that, our shirts are patriotic. WE LOVE [[America|AMERICA]]! Proud to be an American. And I was born in Washington Jefferson Hospital, which is in [[Charlottesville]]...

'''Kacey:''' So, does that picture make you horny? How horny does it make you?

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Turns me on.

'''Kacey:''' How bad?

'''Chris:''' Real bad.

'''Kacey:''' Real bad? Like last time?

'''Chris:''' Ohhh yes.

'''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]''

'''Chris:''' Like so many times in my past before, even before I met you, but there was nothing, you know, I watched my own share of pornography in my lifetime, but that's just me growing up, you know?

'''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]''

'''Chris:''' I was curious, I had to know!

'''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' That's so cute! So what are you doing now?

'''Chris:''' I'm talking to you, and enjoying this nice conversation.

'''Kacey:''' Oh Chris, you're so awesome! So um, you remember the last time we were talking and we were talking about, you know, socialism and health care? You know, you never finished your opinion on that. Could you go ahead and expand?

'''Chris:''' Um, socialism and health care. Umm...yeah, I definitely feel that, uh, health care would be good for, you know, the elderly and the disabled people and, uh, socialism, uh...I don't have all the details on socialism really. I might be leaving a few out in my head to make a final opinion.

'''Kacey:''' Well, socialism just means, you know... [[Obama]]'s plan on healthcare. We were talking about this for hours!

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I'm just spacing out right now, haha. Ahh... but yeah, Obama's plan on health care. Well you know, I mean, he's, uh yeah, he's trying but yeah he's just not trying hard enough. Hang on, I gotta switch my arm, my right arm's getting tired out on me. You know how it is...

'''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh, is it because you're uhh, you're uhh, you know...touching yourself?

'''Chris:''' Uh, no, my right arm was holding the phone and I used my left hand to touch myself-

'''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' ''[giggles]'' Ooh, that's a little spicy!

'''Chris:''' It's like, you know, you're holding the phone over to your ear and your arm just hurts after a while you've held it there.

'''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' ...Right...So, um...

'''Chris:''' Oh actually you know, I just remembered, I wanted to recommend to you some more viewing notes from [[YouTube]], I want you to look at the videos on the account CCHAN6789.

'''Kacey:''' What was that? CCHAN6789?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, they were all from me. That's an old account, I pretty much just ended the deal with it, past time.

'''Kacey:''' W-what's it again?

'''Chris:''' Uh...It's C-C-H-A-N-6-7-8-9. Yeah, all me there. The real me.

'''Kacey:''' Oh. What? Oh, I'll have to check it later when I'm near a computer. That's cool, that's cool.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. So you know uh, Kim, you know uh, how she, uh, yeah you know, uh, Kim, I actually heard that Kim and her friend Logan actually live in the Charlton area close to the downtown mall, you know? So if you ever wanted to look her up and, you know, just talk to her, you know, find about more about the impostor for me, or you know, see what her opinion of me is on the Internet from her point of view...

'''Kacey:''' Oh, you want me to do some undercover stuff? Chris, that is so sweet of you! You know how much I wanted to get involved.

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, sure. You know that ScarletSanctum account? That's hers.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, no, I will totally, totally message her. It's Kim Woods, you said?

'''Chris:''' No, Kim Wilson. Totally. Message her, talk to her all about me.

'''Kacey:''' I totally will. That is-yeah. I gotcha.

'''Chris:''' Oh actually, yeah. I'm looking through my uh, e-mails...oof. My arm's cracking up on me again, you know from holding the phone-

'''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' You know, that's so weird, because you know, you work out all the time, Chris, so you would think a phone wouldn't be, you know, so heavy for you-

'''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]'' Yeah, uh yeah, it's like light, but it's like, holding my arm in the same position for an extended period of time, it just bothers me.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, okay. So, um, you told me that you had some new Sonichu merchandise coming out, so can you tell me about those? ''[giggles]''

'''Chris:''' ''[sighs]'' Uhh...oh yeah. I definitely got Poké Balls-I definitely got a [[Sonichu Ball]] replica in the works.

''[long pause]''

'''Kacey:''' Oh, that's awesome. How much are you gonna sell them for? Cause I know you made so much money...

'''Chris:''' Eh, they'll probably go for like five, ten bucks. You know, I wanna get it out there.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, oh okay. You want it to start out like that. Okay, got it.

'''Chris:''' Actually you know, I think I am, oh yeah. As I was trying to say earlier but then my arm cramped up on me, I was checking my e-mail and uh, actually I have Kim Wilson's e-mail address, I could share that to you, okay?

'''Kacey:''' Oh please do, that would be awesome! I will put it in my address book right away.

'''Chris:''' All right, I'll spell it out for you. It's S-C-A-R-L-E-T-M-A-R-I-E-S-A-N-C-T-U-A-R-Y at gmail dot com.

'''Kacey:''' So it's scarletmariesanctuary@gmail.com?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, but yeah. Okay but anyway listen, don't uh, let her, don't uh spread this around to anybody, I'm trusting you. Keep it just between you and me. Just between you and me.

'''Kacey:''' No, no, definitely, I won't tell anyone. Just between you and me, Chris, just like, you know, our sexy secrets.

'''Chris:''' Oh yes. Anyway, I gotta go, you know, I'm just tired out right now...

'''Kacey:''' Aww, I don't want you to go, though.

'''Chris:''' Oh I know, I wanna talk to you some more too, but, like, ''[high-pitched]'' you know, I need my rest girl, I gotta see you tomorrow at six and make your, uh, your, uh... your... rigatoni?

'''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' Risotto, risotto, sweetie, risotto.

'''Chris:''' RISOTTO!''[super high-pitched]'' RISOTTO, RISOTTO!

'''Kacey:''' But still, can you make me a special video, please please? I'm not gonna be there till six so please make me a video!

'''Chris:''' ''[sigh]''

'''Kacey:''' It doesn't have to be cooking, just make me a video about how much you love me, please. You know, I'm feeling so lonely because this impostor, he's taking up a lot of your time, so please?

'''Chris:''' All right, sweetheart, I'll make you a video saying how much I love you...

'''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh my god, thank you!

'''Chris:''' ...but don't be surprised if it ends up on, uh, a different account, you know.

'''Kacey:''' I know. Oh, you're gonna keep it between us! I got it, I got it. That's awesome. Just e-mail it to me and I will look at it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I will e-mail it to you and let you look at it. Yes, I'll e-mail you the link.

'''Kacey:''' Awesome, please, PLEASE e-mail me the link.

'''Chris:''' All RIGHT, we've got a game plan!

'''Kacey:''' Awesome.

'''Chris:''' ''[Singing over her]'' YEAH, I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING!

'''Kacey:''' Be as sexy and awesome like you always are, okay, please?

'''Chris:''' Oh yes, sexy and awesome. You got it, girl. You got it.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, then I guess I'll let you go to sleep and, umm...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you have pleasant dreams tonight, sweetheart.

'''Kacey:''' I will as long as you're in them.

'''Chris:''' Bye. ''[Kissing noises]''

'''Kacey:''' I love you, Chris.

'''Chris:''' I love you too. Love talking to you.

'''Kacey:''' I love talking to you too...I love doing more with you, but that will have to wait till tomorrow.

'''Chris:''' ''[weirdly high-pitched]'' Yeah, wait till tomorrow when you get here!

'''Kacey:''' So...I'll be in your dreams, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you'll be in my dreams and I'll be in yours, ''[sings]'' I'll be in yours...

'''Kacey:''' ''[Tries to interrupt]'' All right, th-

'''Chris:''' I NEVER PROMISED YOU A HAPPY ENDING! I'm just trying to take a crack at his song now. The one that he could have stolen from me because, you know, I love [[Britney Spears]] as well.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, I haven't seen that one yet, is it up?

'''Chris:''' Oh yes, it's up. ''[sings over her again]''

'''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' Okay, Chris, well...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm tired, I'll talk to you later.

'''Kacey:''' I'll call you tomorrow before I come, okay? All right, love you, bye!

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=First|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 1.5]]}}

==External links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBa2RyS3ZUYnJZNEU mp3 of phonecall]
{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Mumble 1

2021-09-08T04:11:03Z

Rtucker913:

'''Mumble 1''' is the first of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]] which took place on 31 [[January 2009]]. In this fifty-minute chat, Chris mostly goes on about video games. Gems include the thought that [[incest]] is okay if there are two women, and stuff about the [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo trip]].

Length: '''49:32'''

==Summary==
The conversation begins with a discussion between Chris and a girl about [[Transformers]], before moving onto [[video games]] (surprised?). After quite a length of time, the discussion moves onto his [[room]], and the fact that he has a [[Lego]] [[CWCville]] that he's been building his entire life (and that he plans on continuing for his entire life). He then mentions he buys [[Chris and fashion|his clothes]] from Goodwill and the Salvation Army because "IT WAS A BARGAIN" (complete with falsetto). He then announces that he hates [[homos]]. Lesbians are OK though. Thanks to [[Cogsdev|Our Lady Cogs]] to bringing it up for us. He doesn't want to make any more new male friends though. Back to lesbians, and they're good. So good, he'd have a threesome with two girls. It also transpires he has no idea what incest is. It turns out that he can be sure that [[Anne Boleyn]] never had sex with her brother, but sister-on-sister incest is fine. There's some talk of cars. Chris is invited to Louisville, Kentucky by a girl, and he farts. Chris knows that Canadians are nice and play ice hockey too.

[[Obama]] and Chris have common ground, apparently. Chris sees himself in Obama as they were both outcasts. He also discovered he was a 'moderate' in [[high school]]. [[Clyde]] is a 'joike' as well, by the way. He describes an argument with [[Bob]], and then goes onto mention he could beat Bob's ass, because Bob is 81. The love and respect conundrum is mentioned- turns out Chris doesn't love Bob, but he does respect him.

===Notes===
* Info for Chris's Room map: L-shaped Lego CWCville
* Chris then admits to his family being [[house|pack rats]]
* He's "unanimous" about being against homos.
* He appreciates the [[Sonichu Girls]]
* ''[[Shuffle!]]'' is a harem dating sim/anime he wants to see
* He was "tested" for [[autism]]...
* Has no desire to make new male friends
* He went to California to meet [[Cole Smithey|Cole]]
* Lesbians are okay, two gay lovers are not
* Threesome with two women a-okay with him
* "An incest?" he doesn't understand, discourages it
* Anne Boleyn is his aunt. He looked up Richard Weston and Mary Boleyn to find a link between them (on [[Wikipedia]] of course)
* He saw ''[[Wikipedia:The Other Boleyn Girl|The Other Boleyn Girl]]''. He knows no incest happened
* Sisterly incest may be okay. Not for certain.
* Chris sees himself in [[Obama]] because they're both outcasts
* Canadians are polite and play hockey.
* Troll explains 21 December 2012 to him. Chris thinks it's the actual end of the world.
* Discusses Chris's [[ED]] page being deleted
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] saw the ED page
* Chris hates Clyde, that 'joike'
* Chris's dad argues with Chris in [[Son-Chu|the car]], makes Chris depressed
* Chris tries to ignore his dad. He recently yelled at his dad and HIS DAD FLIPPED HIM OFF to which Chris said (insert condescending mothers voice) "Did you just give me the finger?!"
* Chris could take his dad on because he's FREAKIN' 81! ... or 80
* Chris may not love his dad but he has to respect him
* He ponders what life as a [[Tomgirl|woman]] would be like
* ''[[Family Guy]]'' quote: "God gave me the package, I signed for it."
* Talks about steroids, effects. Steroid abusers should just pay for a sex change.
* Sooner have a sex change than turn into a homo
* Says some people are born gay or choose that way.
* For women it's a choice to be gay. ''Family Guy'' told him so.
* HE IS STRAIGHT AND WILL NOT BE CHANGED
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Mumble 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|9476rIFEQWw}}
| Stardate = 31 [[January 2009]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
'''Chris:''' ...[[Silvana|both parts in a villain]]. 
'''Trap:''' Do you plan to fix that any time soon, in the future? 
'''Chris:''' Uh... yeah, I don't know. I did have an idea, though, about, uh, about psychic link, about psychic communication between her and [[Magi-Chan]]. But, uh, neither of them knowing about each other, physically, outside of that. 
'''Trap:''' Alright. 
'''Chris:''' Only the [[Transformers|Decepticons]]. Get it? [''forced laughter''] Like Transformers. 
'''Trap:''' Ah, yes, you know there's a new movie. [[Wikipedia:Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen|New number 2]]. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I know. Yeah, they're doing number 2. I have both the DVD and Blu-ray version of the, uh, of the new movie. I also have a DVD of [[Wikipedia:The Transformers: The Movie|the original animated movie]]. And I have [[Wikipedia:Transformers: Generation 1|Generation 1]] series copied onto DVD-R. The entire Generation 1 series. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Oh, great, four times the [[Wikipedia:Bumblebee (Transformers)|Bumblebee]]. 
[''Forced laughter''] 
'''Dude:''' I haven't even seen the first one yet, I don't even know if it's on [[Netflix]]. 
'''Chris:''' Rent the DVD. RENT THE DVD! IT'S EASIER TO WAIT FOR IT TO FALL ONTO NETFLIX! 
'''Dude:''' Yeah, we have that, we have the Ropoo box, but, uh, I know it used to be on the box, for instant lunch, but I don't know if it still is. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Dude:''' Oh, I love that movie! 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. I downloaded a bunch of epi- bunch of shows on the, and movies from the [[PlayStation Network]]. I've rented some of the- I've rented some of the movies off of there, as well as a few episodes of [[Wikipedia:Xam'd: Lost Memories|''Xam'd'']]. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:'''Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait... 
'''Trap:''' Eeh, hold on, hold on Gecko, I think he wants to read the website some more. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, wait a minute, wait a minute, uh, did you say, did you say ''Xam'd'' is on the [[HEXBox]] as well? 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' The anim- 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Well, yeah it was one thing. I used to hate both the PlayStation and the Xbox, but then I ended up getting the PlayStation 1 at a rummage sale, then I just kinda like, gave it a test play, then I pretty much fell fo- then I decided not to trade it in, at that time. So, pretty much grew from that. But, like in the- 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but also, you know, it costs money to be on the Xbox Live. But anyway, yeah, I don't think so. alright, so anyway- [''starts typing loudly''] ''Xam'd'', is that really on the, uh, Xbox Live? It's an anime bout this, uh, boy who, uh, pretty much- pretty much gets a- gets a- gets infected and becomes like this, uh, this animal-type character, muta- mutant like creature, something like that. Yeah, yeah, I'm interested in starting to, uh, download the, uh, a new anime they just- they put on there just recently. ''[[Shuffle!]]'' I think it's called ''Shuffle!'' Oh, 'scuse me for a second. [''Clattering as Chris gets up''] 
'''Trap:''' All right. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Dude:''' Uhn, I'm actually wondering if I should stay online, or go play ''[[Animal Crossing]]''. That's sad. [''Drowned out by static and more clattering''] 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, I tried uh, oh, I tried uh, downloading from torrents a bunch of times, but, um, most of the entire series of ''Samurai Pizza Cats'', off a torrent, but, uh, still kind of lacked in quality. And, uh, they got their leh ic- they got their little icons recorded, uh, that they recorded from a TV station. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Dude:''' Yeah, we're picking up our [[HEXBox|360]] on Tuesday; we have one reserved, and then after that's a PS3, but I dunno- 
[''Pause''] 
'''Dude:''' Ha, [[Wikipedia:Circuit City|Circuit City]]'s closing its doors, it's going downhill. 
'''Trap:''' Sadly. 
'''Chris:''' Anyway, uh, anyway, you know, recommended for if, you all get, for those who are getting a PlayStation 3, you know, you can go ahead and get, like, the least expensive one you can find, but preferably, one with, uh, that's capable of Wi-Fi, that's the, uh, that's the 60GB or higher models. 20 if- Yeah- Well, yeah, w- well, I mean, uh, 20 or 40GB are not capable of the Wi-Fi, you require an Ethernet cable. Yeah but I know but it's like available used, but anyway, anyway the-anyway the point is, you can pick up the least expensive for a PlayStation 3, and give it more memory capacity. That's like more bang for your buck, by buying the- like a 500GB Serial AT- Internal Serial ATA Norton [[Duck|two and a half inch]] notebook drive. And then you just-and then you just swap out- swap it in- swap out the old one and put in the new one. That's what I did. I got like, I couldn't- I co-... It's been working for me! [''Typing''] Yeah well this- Yeah. Yeah I'm typing the details. It's a seri- 
[''Pause, then more typing. It's fucking '''loud'''.''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah it's a ser... Yeah, good for awhile but then you add- then you down- then you add like a bunch of- then you download like a bunch of movies or, er, I have from a torrent copied from PC to PlayStation 3 with a flash- with a flash drive or memory st- card or something like that. And then- and then and then- 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Hmm... eh, but anyway, ah it accepts up to 500GB for its uh its internal hard drive. And also, like you know, it can-it can hook up to uh one of its USB ports an external hard drive and store- and store all that stuff. Copy it from the PlayStation 3 Hard Drive to it. And you can access the movies on there. Except downloads from the PlayStation network, They can only be copied to like uh, the PlayStation Portable. The Memory Stick Duo on that. I know, I uh [''Pause''] Yeah. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I mean, yeah, [[Wikipedia:Toro (cartoon character)|Toro]] and [[Wikipedia:Ape Escape (video game)|''Ape Escape'']] were around for the longest time on the Japan version of the store. You know, [[Card games|Eye of-... Judgment]]. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I get it. Yeah I get it. Over like, over the PlayStation Network for the chat windows, I get it. Yeah. [''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' But I'm just- I'm just trying to use that as an example. 
[''Pause, random noise, then another pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Hmmh. But I haven't been able to buy a Toro or the ''Ape Escape'' costumes yet [[Julie]] just to let you know. I mean I'm not getting my [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]] for a few more days. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I've heard of it I've never really seen it. Plus, I have like the original Game Boy game, [[Wikipedia:List of Fist of the North Star video games#1990's|''Fist of North Star'']]. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Uh no, I've pretty much only got ''Escape''- ''Ape Escape'' titles on the [[PSP]] during my PlayStation lifetime. 
[''Random background noise, then pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah that's why- that's why for those that were recreated from the UMD, I just- I think I'll just buy the UMD instead of wasting Memory Stick Duo space. And uhh, Julie, I will definitely consider doing that for you, but uh not at the moment. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Uh how'd you get NES games on your PSP? Because I understand with the latest upgrade it uh, tends to block out that capability. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. 
[''Random background noise, Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' I see. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Dude:''' Oh dude, February tenth, they're coming out with that Sega Greatest Hits [[Sonic]] collection thingy. Forty different games and all the original Sonic games. It's frickin' awesome. I think they're going platform-wide with that too. 
'''Chris:''' That... I noticed that at Gamestop, it's only gonna be for like PS3 and Xbox 360. 
'''Dude:''' Aw! I'd love to play that on the Wii! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, wouldn't we all. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' I have [[Wikipedia:Mega Man 9|''Mega Man 9'']] on my PlayStation 3. And plus I was able to download the add-on content. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah I tried that- Yeah I have a component cable yeah I tried that uhh. But uh, yeah it didn't work out for me so I ended up using- it just came up like black and white so I just ended up using the video input on the, uh, back of the TV port it still works for me. And uh, ''Mega Man 9'' is OK, in my humble opinion, it's alright. 
[''Short pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh no. Not yet. 
[''Someone talks in the background, indistinct. Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Right. 
[''Pause. More indistinct talking, Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Oh. That's Interesting. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Touhou (pronounced toe-who)? 
[''radio or TV in background''] 
'''Trap:''' You don't remember those things? 
[''Pause''] 
'''Dude:''' Ahh. I'm so out of the loop. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah, never really heard of that Uhhh. And I don't really play too many PC games, nowadays. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Ahh well, um. PC... can't stand the memory upgrade, that's for sure. 
[''Background noise, sounds like a TV. Pause''] 
'''Trap:''' [''Forced laughter''] 
'''Chris:''' Uh. Uh, yeah my mom just, uh, my family just bought- my mom- my family just bought the uh BMW, just uh basically I can't tell you much more beyond that. 
'''Trap:''' Ahh. 
[''More odd background noise. Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah uh... Yeah I've heard of that, and I've decided that I'd rather not do that. I mean, PC is PC enough and PS3 is PS3 enough. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' I have a PC input on my H- on my HDTV and it's like I could just set up and put my tower in there if I wanted to. But I've decided not to. [[Chris's room|My room]] is quite cluttered... enough, anyway. 
[''Brief pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Pretty much my [[Lego]] [[CWCville]] is taking up like an L quip- an L port- An L shaped portion of it. 
'''Trap:''' When'd you get started on your Lego CWCville? 
'''Chris:''' Lifetime. Start off with one brick and then you buy more bricks and basically-and there you go. Took a lifetime. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeahhh, but yeah but my family's like a bunch of pack rats and uh, it's like you know, a bunch of their rooms is, like, cluttered. It's like- it's like, to quote a bit from a Monty Python episode I downloaded. [''Sudden ear-raping falsetto''] Morning Missus Robinson! Morning Missus Robinson! You been out shopping? No! I've been shopping! What'd you buy? A piston engine! What'd you buy that for?! IT WAS A BARGAIN. 
[''Microphone problems of some sort?''] 
'''Chris:''' If. Buy stuff from uh, g- like uh, Goodwill and Salvation Army because [''More God-awful falsetto''] IT WAS A BARGAIN! 
'''Trap:''' You do find the most interesting [[Chris and fashion|shirts]], I'll tell you that. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, mostly they come from like, Goodwill or Salvation Army. Ahh, Yeah- I'll uh, definitely consider, uh uh if a demo- If a demo Resistant- [[Wikipedia:Resident Evil 5|''Resident Evil 5'']] comes out and uh it has online capability I'll uh, might play it on that, [[Julie]]. 
[''Long pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Alright. Cuz you know, uh, like I've stated there was times. And I'm 100% [[Chris and English|unaminous]] in it. I'm against uh, [[Homos|homosexual males]], period. Especially since I had the bad experiences in the... elementary school with the principal and all. 
'''Trap:''' I'm so sorry. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. I appreciate the [[Sonichu Girls]]. Well-I mean, uh, I mean I take tha- I mean, uh. [[JERKS|Wait, I'll respect men, but uh that's, that's as far as I'll go]]...in the, in the level of liking men. I mean, just beyond respect [''makes "Pff" sound''] Nothing. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. [''Some sort of hacking sound''] Hmmm. Eeeahh, aright hang on, hang on, let me answer Cogsdev's question about lesbians. 
[''Laughter''] 
'''Trap:''' Hmmmm, well now, how'd you get into lesbians? 
'''Chris:''' It was just one of the- it was just one of the bunch of the- it was just one of the bunch of the videos on a DV- on a DVD I got free from a... ner- from a... from a female [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|doll]] order on the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|AdamEve.com]]. 
'''Trap:''' Wow... 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well, I'm saying that I hate homo males. And plus uh, I don't like, I don- I'm not- I'm not fond of men in general, cuz [[Bob Chandler|my father]], he picks more arguments than flies in a garbage dump. That's my personal joke about... Yeah I know but- yeah but still then there was the principal in the elementary school, again. And uh also I have tests from- from when I was being tested for [[Autism]]- 
'''Trap:''' Mmm-Hmm? 
'''Chris:''' That s- it said I'd get along- that I would get along better with fe- with uh, girls than I do with guys. So that's, so lot of, lot of aspects and points that uh lead up to my personal feelings- and I mean nothing personal against anybody, it's just that's the way I feel, would prefer not to uh, be too close to the men. I mean uh, I mean- uhehuhuh I mean like I said as far as I'll go is respect. Respect. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I uh- Yeah I uh yeah I hear you, yeah I hear you on that but, hmm... Yeah but uh yeah umm I guess as a friend it's OK- I guess, eyaah, you know you can quote me on this uh, as a friend it- as a friend it's OK but you know uh I mean it's, but like it comes to like meet- uh, meeting new ones, uhh, I prefer to just kinda keep my distance. At time. I read these-I read these lines here. Hmm. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Aaaow. What's an SG? 
'''Trap:''' A [[Sonichu Girls|Sonichu Girl]]. 
'''Chris:''' Oh, Oh, Oh. Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... Yeah I thought of visiting another country, but you know it's uh expensive. I mean uh, I went- I mean uh I've only traveled on airplane one time. It was to fly all the way to California to visit my uh, half brother [[Joseph Cole Smithey|Cole Smithey]] who has a website ColeSmithey.com. 
[''Typing''] 
'''Trap:''' Mm-hmm... Well... I will check that out. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Actually his whole name is Joseph Cole Smithey, but he also likes to go by "Joe Cool", like [[Peanuts|Snoopy]]. 
'''Trap:''' Ahhh. 
'''Chris:''' Ahhhhhhh. Yeah between umm... 
[''Short pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Probably but uhhh... I mean, even though I'm... even though I- even though I feel, I mean I feel more, um... Well I guess but In the end I'd still, uhhh... 
[''Pause, momentary noise, then another pause''] 
'''Chris:''' I just say I guess to that question. But you know I would be- I'm encouraging straight... love between uh, straight couples. Men and women. I mean I encourage that more. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion. 
[''Pause, recording seems to cut out and recorder's typing is heard''] 
'''Chris:''' And all, huh. Yeah OK But uh also I mean I'm uh, also, I've uh talked to others before with uh, Sarah, my uh s- s- [[PandaHalo|Sarah, my girlfriend]]. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys. 
'''Trap:''' Huh, that- that- Yeah I think I get that, you know I mean a woman's bodies is just a bit uh better, wouldn't you agree? 
'''Chris:''' Uhh, I'm sorry what was the adjective you just used? 
'''Trap:''' I said they look a bit better. Wo- womens, women's women's bodies look... Let me do this again. Women's bodies look a bit better. 
'''Chris:''' Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times. 
'''Trap:''' Hmm. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Uhhhh. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Ummm. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Uhh you know you sent me- you sent me a picture on PlayStation Network, [[Julie]], and I'll take it into consideration but let me ask, uh... An ''incest?'' 
'''Trap:''' Whatumean? 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' What? 
'''Trap:''' Incest... Yeah incests. 
'''Chris:''' Eh, yeah sure. Send me a picture and I'll Skype later, Julie. But yeah uh what's a- What is an incest? I mean I've heard that word, I've never really understood it. 
'''Trap:''' She posted it right on the left. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Oh as in- Oh as in sex between bro... siblings. Oh. 
'''Trap:''' Yeah. Right. Brother-sister, sister-sister. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... Um, yeah I would definitely discourage that. Because you know, that a- that's another- that's another- that's another thing-that's another-that's another...bad- that's another bad way to go. 
'''Trap:''' Wow... 
'''Chris:''' Plus also- plus also, uh, you all know the story of [[Anne Boleyn]] and I believe I mentioned- believe it- believe I mentioned before that it was spread around that my ancestor, was Anne- my ancestor, in an aunt sort of sense was Anne Boleyn. 
'''Trap:''' Mmm Hmm? 
'''Chris:''' So I'm a possible full descendant [''sic''] would be Mary Boleyn. 
'''Trap:''' Wow... 
'''Chris:''' But yeah it's like you know I'm trying to find the missing link between Mary, and [[Wikipedia:Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|the first Earl of Portland, Richard Weston]]. I- I've looked it up on [[Chris and Wikipedia|Wikipedia]]. 
[''Brief Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' But uh, but yeah, but anyway getting back to the uh Anne Boleyn thing, I saw the movie ''The Other Boleyn Girl'' 
'''Trap:''' Mmm Hmm? 
'''Chris:''' And then I- and then I- and then I saw the part where uh, you know it's like- you know Anne lost- lost a child in her uh, while she slept and then uh, yeah that just, that basically happened right there and there was like you know she tried to get pregnant form the uh, from [[Wikipedia:George Boleyn, Viscount Rochford|her brother, George]], I believe his name was. 
'''Trap:''' Mmm Hmm? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, like you know, it just didn't happen, I know- I know that for sure but like you know my first thought was like yeah... don't do that. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Eh, it just depends on my inspiration but like you know, with the [[stress]] lately it's kind of hard to uh get inspired. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Yeah, but it's like you know- most of the process of removing myself from the comic and that's pretty much linking it to my real life there. 
'''Trap:''' Mmm Hmm? 
'''Chris:''' So if that's the best link to your real life, it's kind of hard to, uh, keep it up to date there. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Trap:''' Mmm? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I'm removing myself at the end- at the end of the second eh, I'm taking myself out at the number two comic. Eh, yeah sure Julie, send 'em to me through [[Skype]]. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Since you have the window open. Ahh. Alright so, to answer the question, but like... between sisters, uh... 
'''Trap:''' Mmm hmm? Uhh? 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' About that... 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Ummmmmm... 
[''Pause''] 
'''Trap:''' I mean it's not like they're gonna reproduce, y'know... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Trap:''' So... There's no messed up stuff there. 
'''Chris:''' Yeaaah... Uhhh... I dunno. I guess between sisters... [[Gaybian|I guess that's OK]]. I mean I'm not saying for certain. 
'''Trap:''' Uh-huh... 
'''Chris:''' I'm not saying for certain. But like, you know, it's possibly OK. But I'm not saying for certain. 
'''Trap:''' Hmm. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Trap:''' It's uh, black, by the way. 
'''Chris:''' I see. 
'''Trap:''' It's a pretty nice car. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Trap:''' Okay, hm. 
[''Pause. Broken for a moment when Chris sighs, then continued silence.''] 
'''Trap:''' Hmm. You know. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Trap:''' I mean it runs about the same way, you know. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Trap:''' I'll- 
[''Pause''] 
'''Trap:''' Ah, I dunno. But here's the thing. We'll get them. We'll get them, yeah- Ford's gonna come through. I mean we get the Fiesta from Mexico, 2010. I mean you guys will finally get the European Ford Focus, which is a way better looking car. I'd still invite him. Oh the Tata. The uh, [[Wikipedia:Tata Nano|Tata Nano]]. That uses the air compressor. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Trap:''' I have my limo though. My family has always had limos or alpines. 
[''Background noise, then pause''] 
'''Chris:''' (Mumbling to self) 
'''Trap:''' So I'm curious, I hear a TV in the background, what are you watching by any chance? 
'''Chris:''' No actually you're listening to- I turned down, I turned down my radio, listening to 95.1 Rock, with [[John Tesh]] on the nightly run. 
'''Trap:''' Oh, yeah, yeah... 
[''Pause''] 
'''Trap:''' I myself am in uh Louisville, Kentucky. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Louisville. I once- I once knew- I once knew an uncle Screwy-Louie who lived in Louisville. 
'''Trap:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' That's a little [[Random access humor|pun-joke I made up]]. 
'''Trap:''' [''Forced laughter''] 
[''Typing. It's really, really loud''] 
'''Trap:''' Oh, that's cool, you should, come visit me, you know. We could take my little hatchback, my little half-hatch and have fun. Yeah. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' [''apparently farts''] Ahh. 'scuse me. 
'''Trap:''' What kinda weather have there right now, we have a big snowstorm... [inaudible] 
'''Chris:''' We- we- We just have- we just have a little bit of snow and ice over here in [[Virginia]]. 
'''Trap:''' Alright, yeah. We got hit pretty hard here. Thankfully I didn't, but others did. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. That's basically I- basically the worst I had to deal with was just slipperiness. Eh. 
[''Pause, Intermittent background noise''] 
'''Trap:''' [Laughs] 
[''Pause''] 
'''Trap:''' Well, wait, what the very first snow is? Well they have like, uhh... OK, I got a joke for you. I have a joke for you. How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? 
'''Chris:''' Three Canadians out of a pole? 
'''Trap:''' Out of a pool. A swimming pool. 
'''Chris:''' Oh, pool. 
'''Trap:''' Mmm-Hmmm. 
'''Trap:''' No. No. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' A ladder? 
'''Trap:''' No. "OK, everybody out of the pool." [''Stifled laughter''] Cuz they're so polite. 
'''Chris:''' Ahaa! 
'''Trap:''' Cuz they're so polite. Cuz they're so, yeah, Cuz they're so polite they're just like "Oh, OK" 
'''Chris:''' -Play hockey. Huh. Yeah I get it. 
'''Trap:''' I have a cousin in Quebec. You get to make fun of, of the other people. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Trap:''' Oh, OK, I shall look at whatever this is. 
'''Chris:''' It's her character. That she made. 
'''Trap:''' Oh. Ooooh![inaudible] her character. I like it. [''Brief Pause''] I need to get back to France sometime in the future. I wanna go see a lot of concerts. Lot of people- lot of the bands I like don't come to America much, if at all. I really wanna see Weasel. Or maybe Sialia, they're from Belgium. Or Sisters of Mercy, one of the many many summer concerts they always play. [''brief pause''] Have you ever been to a concert, um, Chris? 
[''Pause''] 
'''Trap:''' Did we lose him? Umm... 
'''Chris:''' I'm still here. 
'''Trap:''' So have you ever been to any concerts in your life? Ever? 
'''Chris:''' Concerts. I've been to a few but I can't remember. 
'''Trap:''' Huhh. Yeah that's, uhhh... Give me a few minutes I'll show you some footage from the last one. You guys keep talking about video games and stuff. If you can. 
'''Chris:''' Just whatever comes to mind. 
[''Pause, loud noises, then silence''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I hear that, but uh, yeah if they're serious they would [[Miyamoto Saga|vouch for your trip in the first place, advance you the money]]. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Yes. I see. And plus, also, pretty much the lack, the lack of advanced money there... pretty much convinced my parents disbelief in [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Mr. Miyamoto]] and all, and all that that happened there. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but I didn't even have the money in the first place. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' My [[Chris and money|credit card was pretty much maxed]]. 
'''Trap:''' Oooh. Ouch. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Ehhh. Greater than that. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Right. 
'''Trap:''' Ehhh. Problems, you know. But it's fine, I think. At least we've got a new [[Barack Obama|president]]. 
'''Chris:''' You know I actually saw both A&E- A&E Biographies, I downloaded both from the PlayStation Network between the McCain and Obama. Pretty much, like you know, the comic, the [[Barack Obama#White House gag|one page comic joke]] came up before I ever saw the documentaries. So it's like you know, I saw documentaries, and I end up seeing more of myself in Obama than in McCain. Like, I mean, who would you vote for, the one you saw more of yourself in as an outcast and all that, or the [[Father Call|war hero]]? 
'''Trap:''' Hmm. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Why? 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Ohhhhh. Really, huh. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Well yeah, I mean it's like you know, let em le-let em learn bo- let em learn both ways and let them figure out which one is more accurate to them individually. That's the way I feel about it. I mean it's like, all the stories, and then- and then you figure out in your own humble opinion which is more believable to you in your humble opinion, you just follow that basically. I mean before I went to any church I learned both evolution and uh, creation. And it's like you know, I can go either way, since, uh basically I took a test in U.S. Government in high school I learned I was a moderate. 
'''Trap:''' Ohh. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' That's- that's- that's pretty much true right there, you mean, yeah, the dinosaur days could have been a whole day for God there. And then uh, the, uh, whatever killed the dinosaurs was the beginning or the end of that day. 
'''Trap:''' Hmm. Speaking of the end: Mayan calendar. December 21, 2012. What do you think about that? 
'''Chris:''' December... 
'''Trap:''' 21st. 2012. 
'''Chris:''' December 21, 2012? 
'''Trap:''' ''Oui''. Mayan Calendar. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Trap:''' ''Oui'', then it starts again but the caveat is it's the start of a new world which means the old world, the one that we're in now, gets destroyed. 
'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] I'd better not think about- I'd rather not think about the bad news. It's just it... Yeah, it's still bad news and it depresses me. 
'''Trap:''' Well I'll fix that right now. Just give me a second to type this in... (mumbling) There's uhh... that's probably the biggest show I've ever been to. I knew a Bob and Geraldo he's kind of a cool guy. Hangs out in Germany a bit more than France, but uh, heh heh, yeah I was lucky to see him in Seattle. I was on business, before I decided to kinda settle here. 
'''Chris:''' Yeahh... I well I appreciate that but you don't have to make any effort for me to feel better, I mean, just give me some time without any bad news and I'll eventually feel better. 
'''Trap:''' Alright, fair enough. 
'''Chris:''' That's something I'll about. 
'''Trap:''' Oui. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I checked- [''brief pause''] Yeah actually I checked it recently and that top, that top that top piece of information that was on top of the page said it was going away, went away. So they pretty much just introduced stuff and they pretty much just extended it's life. [''Loud sigh''] I'm not going to believe it, you know even though it's advertisements saying it's gonna go away I can't believe it until it's actually gone. You know like that guy who couldn't believe in Jesus until, like you know, he could actually see and touch Jesus. 
'''Trap:''' Hmmm. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' The-uh, the administrators behind the ED page want to get rid of it. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Hope so. I'm just, you know, sick of it being there. It was pretty much one of the factors that also made Miyamoto question my person and incentives and all that. It- 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' I did not send them anything like that. That was a- that was a troll, who went under my screen, that hacked into- that was [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] who hacked into my AOL address and spammed the uh, quote-unquote “confession” which was a huge lie. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah. Anyways it was Clyde. I hate that jerk (pronounced joike). 
'''Trap:''' Hmmm. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' [''Sighs very loudly''] 
[''Pause, intermittent background noise''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, to quote New Brian from an episode [[Family Guy]]. Inspiration does not have a schedule so it's like you know. One day you can be inspired to do something and the next day something bad happens and you're like drained from days to weeks to months. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah I tried but then more bad stuff happens and it just drags me down further. Especially my father, causing an argument when I'm trapped with him in the car. 
'''Trap:''' Hmmm. 
'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' I uh- I tried to- I tried to ignore him, but still, eventually he will cross the line and hit a nerve. 
'''Trap:''' Uh oh. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, like, recently when I blocked him out so much he eventually gave me the finger and I was like [''Ear rapingly high voice''] “Did you just give me the finger?!” 
'''Trap:''' [''Forced laughter''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I did the headphone thing as well, I mean I'd turn on whatever I had saved on my PSP in the line of like a television show or a movie I've downloaded or have copied to the Memory Stick. 
[''Pause, intermittent background noise''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Oh, And uh, Julie, I know I could take him on he's friggin' 81. But it's like, you know he's my father and I have to respect him. I mean I don't have to love him but I have to respect him. Yeah. [''Yawn''] Lot of life factors that can bring you up or take you down. 
'''Trap:''' Yeah... Hey Chris. Have you ever thought, like, just randomly, what it would be like if you were a cyborg? You know, half man, half machine? 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh. Yeah that doesn't happen but uh, a bunch of time, I often will randomly [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|ponder what my life would be like if I was actually born a woman]]. 
'''Trap:''' [''Surprised''] Oh really? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but... I dunno, but, you know, I mean I would theorize that it could be better than my life now. 
'''Trap:''' Alright. 
'''Chris:''' But- well I dunno. I mean uh, I can't think of any- I can't think of them right now. But eventually then-but eventually- but eventually in the end I would always realize eh, I can't change it at this point. God gave me [[Duck|the package]] and I signed for it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, probably from an episode of Family Guy. Stewie said it. Yeah the uh- [''brief pause''] Yeah the episode I'm talking about is the one where Stewie had his female baby- his babysitter he fell in love with, then he like, put the baby bottle in his diaper and says [''Terrible Stewie Impression''] “Oh, this is just me being myself. Oh, this? This is um, this us um, this is just my package. God delivered it, I signed for it.” [''brief pause''] But you know, in Family Guy I'm most fond of [[Meg Griffin|Megan Marie Griffin]]. I mean it's just too bad that she gets the bad end of the deal. She deserves a lot better. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah I know, I know “Road to Germany”. Yeah. Yeah. [''High, whiny voice''] “Can I use your restaurant? I've taken a whole bunch of stool softener and now I've really gotta go.” [''Some other voice''] “Oh yeah sure, Martin just go upstairs to the bathroom.” [''Third voice''] “I'll be out in a minute! “I'll be right out!” “She said she'll be out in a minute!” “Giggidy giggidy goo!” 
'''Trap:''' Oui... Oh, so Cogs had a suggestion... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I know, I read it. I'm definitely not doing that. I'm not doing that. I mean uh, you know... Yeah I'm definitely not doing that. Yeah. I think he's like refereeing for that such, that the- kind of over the counter drug just basically gives you like bigger... gives the man like, bigger man boobs, and shrivels up the uhhh... '''dick'''. 
'''Girl:''' Attack of the killer Moobs! 
'''Chris:''' Oh boy. I mean, hey, you know, any man who's dumb enough to take hormones may as just go ahead pay up thousands of dollars for a sex change. In that episode where they showed Mr. Garrison actually having that surgery that just turned me off. 
'''Trap:''' Yeah but you... Gonna be a woman might as well use those god-given ovaries, right? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''Brief pause''] I mean, I may as well go ahead and say it, because it's a fact that's been on my mind for long time I mean. I'd sooner have a sex change before I would ever turn into a homo. 
'''Trap:''' Oh... 
'''Chris:''' But uh yes Julie, what is, what you got, what you want to say there? 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Yeah, but I'd rather not. Besides, I really should go get something to eat cuz I fell asleep at the 9:00 Hour and I just woke up during the 3:00 hour. 
'''Trap:''' Huhh... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, another time perhaps. Yep. Well whatever, if you want to send me an invite- if you want to send me... wait. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh. Julie I'll give you permission to share that. Among the, uh, among these fans here. 
'''Trap:''' Oh? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah cuz she was talking to me on a Skype window as well. 
[''Pause''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but also, lemme uh, I mean yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Even though- even though- Even though those people be born- can be born that way, some people can be changed. I mean, that's what I heard, and uh, you know, I'm definitely not going to change. So you know- if anything- If anything I'm definitely born straight, you know, you hear on like Family Guy you know for gals it's a choice. For women it's a choice. 
'''Trap:''' Oh, to your left (referring to the placement of the chat window in Mumble). 
'''Chris:''' Being a homo. Alright. I'm straight so I will not be changed. Alright so anyway I'm gonna get something to eat so I'll come back later. Y'all take care. 
[''Chris signs off, trolls converse among selves''] 
'''GeckoMantis:''' I got most of that recorded- I got all of that recorded for when I returned back. 
[''Typing''] 
'''GeckoMantis:''' I just sent him a message, from uh, in my, from Skype saying "This is GeckoMatis from the Mumble, add me as your friend. Also I'm logged in as GeckoMantis now. 
[''Trolls conversing''] 
'''GeckoMantis:''' Should I stop recording? 

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=First|nextlink=[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat 2]]|}}

==Links==
* [https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBRVBLNG5ZeUNIMkU Download]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

August 2021

2021-08-05T01:01:07Z

Rtucker913:

{{Ongoing}}
August is the eighth month of [[2021]].

==Highlights==
* '''1 August''': Chris is arrested for the third time, a result of the [[incest]] leaks. Ethan Ralph shows up and manages to livestream Chris being detained in the cop car.
* '''2 August''': Chris is relocated from Henrico County Jail to Central Virginia Regional Jail.
* '''13–15 August''': [[Everfree Northwest]], a ''[[My Little Pony]]'' convention held in Seattle, WA - which Chris planned on attending - will take place.
==See also==
*[[August 2021 social media posts]]

{{timeline}}

Son-Chu

2021-01-02T02:59:50Z

Rtucker913: /* Other cars */ Reverse license plate search confirmed it's from 1995

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is the name [[Chris]] gives to his car. It was originally a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that he drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]] to [[November 2018]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth incarnation of Son-Chu.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. Despite its damaged engine block, the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, cementing it as the fourth iteration of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>:

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|200px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]

The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>.

{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[26 December 2014|go mental in the store]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
*During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
*In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

*In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

===The Mitsu===
[[File:The mitsu.png|thumb|One of very few images of the Mitsu.]] At some point one of the Chandlers, most likely Bob, purchased a silver 1995 Mitsubishi Mirage coupe. Chris apparently drove it from time to time to avoid detection from [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#The_Wandering_Jerkop.2C_Part_4|Jerkops,]] and he commonly referred to it as the "Mitsu". Very little is known about the car and it's unclear what happened to it, though the Chandlers got rid of it sometime after Bob died. Barb apparently didn't like it as much as her van.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

It's UGH!

2020-02-25T16:29:20Z

Rtucker913: /* Transcript */

"'''It's UGH!'''" is the bizarre name to a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 24 [[July 2009]], before removing it a short time later in usual CWC fashion. The video features him begrudgingly singing along to the song "OK2B[[Gay]]" by Danish [[wikipedia:Bubblegum dance|bubblegum dance]] singer [[Tomgirl|Tomboy]]. At the end of the video, he curses at [[Jack Thaddeus]] (who had made [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris hump his PS3]] within the same day) and "[[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha whatever]]."

Note that Chris, in this video, is visibly disgusted and offended by a pro-gay song which is sung tongue firmly grasped in cheek. While the song's message (it's okay to be gay, obviously) is intended to be serious, lines like "[[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|pick up the soap]]" are clearly being sung in a humorous manner.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = It's UGH!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5NZw7tRNa2A}}
| stardate = 24 [[July 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| shirt = {{BrownLogoShirt2|text}}
| previous = [[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]
| next = [[It's UGH!#Remake Video|It's____]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Up until 0:36, the only audio from the video is the opening of the song's video version. Chris is shown grimacing in pain over the chorus of [[JERKS]] singing. He starts [[Chris and music|singing]] at 0:37, in a very unsettling, yet quite on point [[Star Wars|Yoda]] impression. Chris actually talks at 4:04.'']

<poem>It's okay to be [[homos|gay]], let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way
It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way

Father figures we are
You're a shooting star you come so far
I was once in your shoes
In a closet like you
I had nothing to lose

Hey man gay man pick up the soap
Get on your knees and pray
Hey man gay man
Release your [[semen|load]]
You've got to cease to delay
The gay way

It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way
Hooray! For the man!

Ooh, strong man
Queen of the balls
Some brotherly love is a pleasure for all
Come out
Open your eyes
It's a matter of size

Hey man gay man pick up the soap
Get on your knees and pray
Hey man gay man
Release your load
you've got to cease to delay
The gay way

It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way ''[gagging sounds]''
Okay to be gay!
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way

Sing hallelujah (sing hallelujah)
It's getting to ya (it's getting to ya)

Hey! Ho! Mo! Hey! Ho! Mo! Hey! Ho! Mo! Hey, homo DORK!
Now remember
There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over

It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way
It's okay!
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way

West is where you should go
To San Francisco
I get that you know
Would you gather my face
So united we stand in a gay parade
A human serenade

Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way
It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way
It's okay to be gay!

Ugh. Yech. Ung... uck. Damn you, Jack Thaddeus slash Samantha whatever.</poem>

==Remake==
[[Image:TrickeryFail.jpg|thumb|Chris thought he would be clever if he made the video by not actually titling the video "It's Okay to be Gay," in addition to having tags "It's a Mockery you damn, dirty [[homos]]."]]

[[Jack Thaddeus]], not satisfied with Chris handing him a video where he sings in a dumb voice and covers himself on camera most of the time, wanted a version of him singing it with more vigor.

'''It's____''', a remake of It's UGH!, was uploaded on the following day, 25 [[July 2009]]. Chris sings the song in a more energetic and upbeat manner. He is seen disguised with a [[KCWC broadcast|Groucho Marx]] mask, along with the hat of his [[Officer Nasty]] sex doll. Note, surprisingly, that Chris looks somewhat thinner in this video which just goes to show that black (especially when paired with stained sex-doll accessories) really is slimming. The YouTube search tags read out, "It's a Mockery you damn dirty [[homos]]." He changes some of the pronouns of the lyrics to "she". In the last sentence of the video, he says that it's not okay to be gay, as yet another feeble attempt to "outwit" the [[trolls]].

{{clear}}

===Video===
{{Infobox/video
| name = It's____
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TdLK7L66Wf4}}
| stardate = 24 [[July 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| previous = [[It's UGH!#Video|It's UGH!]]
| next = [[Cwc dare]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Kick the Autistic|Merry Kickmas]]. [[Random-access humor|Why not?]]

It's okay be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way 
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way 
It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way 
Hooray for the kind of man that ''she'' will find in the gay way 

Father figures we are 
You're a shooting star you've come so far 
I was once in your shoes 
In a closet like you 
I had nothing to lose 

Hey man gay man pick up the soap 
Get on your knees and pray 
Hey man gay man 
Release your load 
You've got to cease to delay 
The gay way 

It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way 
Hooray for the kind of man that ''she'' will find in the gay way 
Hooray! For the man! 

Ooh, strong man 
queen of the balls 
some brotherly love is a pleasure for all 
Come out 
open your eyes 
it's a matter of size. Siiiiize 

Hey man gay man pick up the soap 
Get on your knees and pray 
Hey man gay man 
Release your load 
you've got to cease to delay 
The gay way 

It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way 
Okay to be gay! 
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way 

Sing hallelujah 
It's getting to ya 

Hey! Ho! Mo! Hey! Ho! Mo! Hey! Homo dork! 
Now remember 
There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over 

It's okay to be gay! ...'sokay to be gay! let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way 
It's okay! 
Hooray for the kind of man that ''she'' will find in the gay way 

West is where you should go 
To San Francisco 
I get that you know 
Would you gather my face 
So united we stand in a gay parade 
A human serenade [''cough''] 

[''mumbling''] Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! for the kind of man that ''she'' will find in the gay way 
It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way 
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way 

It's ''not'' okay to be gay! [''Chris takes off his Groucho glasses, throws them to the ground, and makes a pose'']

===Altered description===
The next day, Chris added a changed description.
{{quotebox|I INFORM YOU TRUE,

I was Blackmailed originally into singing that Damn, Dirty Song. Upon Initial Reading of the Lyrics, I FELT QUEASY and GOING TO THROW UP. I expressed that Fully in the FIRST TRIAL of singing it, even though I deleted it, someone else may have Mirrored those Close-Ups of my body and Vocals. I REMAIN STRONG AND TRUE; ONLY Straightness is Rightous; "Gay" IS "Stupid", and DO NOT use the word "[[homos|Gay]]" IN ANY SENTENCE, UNLESS you are actually talking to or about a PAPER-CERTIFIED Homosexual (they're already all damned).

I AM A PAPER-CERTIFIED STRAIGHT MAN; I Personally Hold ALL the paperwork.

For the while, with "[[SingStar Challenge Round 4|Stan Bush]]" at my PSP/PC/[[PS3]] offering me Inspiration to continue on. I required an instance WHY of all human and God-Giving Reason, and if it was AT ALL, that original track ever GOOD and Beneficial for the Cause to Stay Straight. It took an Ex-Troll-Turned-Friend to let me know that TomBoy ORIGINALLY wrote that song as a MOCKERY. That was ALL I need to know and hear to MAKE MY MOCKERY to Gays, and SING ON. I have fulfilled my End of the Deal with Victory and Valour towards the Rightous Cause of Being Straight. I had "From the darkness stumbled into the Light". While it "Seems like it's been Forever", This was the "Last Round" that I had to "Fight for what I Know IS RIGHT". "Everyone may try to Break my Spirits, Keepin' Me Down," But NO MORE.

I, "Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]] and [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]]; TRUE ORIGINAL Creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], WITH EYE-WITNESSES back on HIS and HER Dates Of Creation and Birth, AM BACK, and I will not stand idle and be Disrespected with fellow Local Citizens of all [[JERKS|Gen]][[Women's rights|ders]] and [[Chris and race|Races]] Falling in That Disrespect In My Wake.

I thank you ALL to RESPECT and CONTINUE RESPECTING Me, My Friends, My Hometowns, and THESE United States of America. I AM STRAIGHT; CUT YOUR DAMN, DIRTY "GAY" THEORIES THE FUCK OFF THE FACE OF THE UNIVERSE FOREVER.

Thank You.

Christian Weston Chandler, July 25, 2009 }}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]|nextlink=[[Cwc dare]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-24]]

[[Category:Videos about homos| 2009-07-24]]

Jacob Sockness

2020-02-16T22:20:00Z

Rtucker913: Adding middle name

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|ONLY if he has lost [[Obesity|weight]] in that belly; [[:File:Sockness profile banner-min.png|his profile banner]] is Most unsettling to me.|Chris, [[Hypocrisy|criticizing Sockness]]<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1146446794005581824</ref>}}

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Sockness Head Cutout.png|100px]]</div>

{{infobox
| title = Jacob Sockness
| image = [[Image:JacobSockness.jpg|250px|center]]
|header1 = Information
|label1 = Name
|data1 = Jacob Justin Sockness
|label2 = Also known as
|data2 = Michiro Hutaki Agian Siin Darkseed2012 RamleIronHeart Jacob JS drunkendragon415 luvshak214 Ashva Gohda Gakuto Numata White Knight Blue Heart Jake Hammer <abbr title="'Love Christine' in Hindi">क्रिस्टीन को प्यार करो</abbr> Centralized Imperial Government of Kidasuna
|label3 = Date of Birth
|data3 = 1 April 1983 (age {{age|1983|4|1}})
|label4 = Gender
|data4 = Male
|label5 = Nationality
|data5 = [[United States|American]]
|label6 = [[Chris and race|Race]]
|data6 = White
|label7 = [[Chris and religion|Religion]]
|data7 = Neo-Pagan Satanism (former)
|label11 = [[Chris and work|Occupations]]
|data11 = Amateur Occultist Conspiracy Theorist Stalker Unemployed
|label12 = [[Obesity|Weight]]
|data12 = 215.8+ lb (97,9+ kg)
}}

'''Jacob Sockness''' is a {{age|1983|4|1}}-year-old [[enabler]] turned [[ween]] from San Francisco, California, who emerged in mid-[[2018]] and was most active between [[July 2019|July]] and [[November 2019|November]] of [[2019]]. Like Chris, he is [[autism|autistic]],<ref>[https://old.reddit.com/r/TheChurchofCWC/comments/bl78bl/magichan_2_need_to_talk_now/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app Sockness admits he is autistic]</ref> receives a [[monthly tugboat]], [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|believes he is a god]],<ref>[http://archive.is/eg2Gq Sockness claims to be the Hindu god Ganesha, archived 16 July 2019]</ref> thinks he has [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic powers]] and has built an elaborate fantasy universe, into which he has appropriated ''Sonichu'' characters, with over a dozen instalments that he believes [[Chris and reality|really exists]].<ref>[http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?contributorId=1404026 Sockness's 19-volume series for sale on Lulu]</ref> While he was at first seemingly just another exceptional [[white knight]], notable only for his [[Chris and sex|erotic]] attitudes toward Chris, Sockness would become openly [[weening|malicious]] after finally establishing direct contact with his idol.

In mid-[[2019]], Sockness gained Chris's favour as the two agreed to work together financially following Chris's [[June 2019]] ban from [[eBay]], and achieved considerable influence over Chris's [[CWCville|own fantasy world]], as seen in [[Sonichu 14|''Sonichu'' #14]]. Most of his courting and [[enablers|enabling]] has been through Twitter, though he would also promote himself through [[Reddit]], [[YouTube]] and even an unamused [[Kiwi Farms]]. For months, the two would express interest in meeting in person, to onlookers' alarm, yet when Sockness would finally set out to cross the American continent to [[14 Branchland Court]] in late September 2019, Chris rebuffed these efforts. Rehabilitation attempts over the following two months, at one point going even so far as mutual [[sweetheart|flirting]], could not ultimately repair their [[Heart Level|broken relationship]] enough to return to their former intimacy, and by the end of [[November 2019]] they rejected each other again.

==Discovery and motivations==
[[Image:Jacob Sockness CWC poster.jpg|200px|left|thumb|Sockness posing next to a Sonichu Through the Years poster sold by Chris.]]
Jacob was discovered by chance by [[Kiwi Farms]] user [https://kiwifarms.net/members/neural.18444/ neural] while observing the [[weens|many]] [[A-log|users]] surrounding Chris's Twitter posts. After further digging, it was revealed that he also created a Kiwi Farms account under the name [https://kiwifarms.net/members/jacob-js.26961/ Jacob JS]. It was in his profile page where he accidentally doxxed himself by posting links to his [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Facebook Facebook] page and Tumblr blogs that reveals his personal information. As he exposed himself on the Farms, Sockness, like [[Michael Hirtes]], is considered to be a ''halal'' lolcow.

Like many of Chris's orbiters, Sockness is a furry and lives in [[wikipedia:Section_8_%28housing%29|subsidised housing]] with a [[tugboat]]. He has a very low view of [[niggos|blacks]], describing them as 'beastly' and 'hyper sexual', believing that 'their race can only rape, because that is [their] way of reproduction in a natural setting.'<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jacob-sockness-michiro-hutaki-agian-siin-jacob-js-darkseed2012-ramleironheart.48287/ Sockness's lolcow thread on Kiwi Farms]</ref> Unlike the [[Idea Guys]], who would inject such themes into Chris's mind for their own amusement, Jacob seems to be genuine. Sockness also controls several sockpuppets to white-knight himself and converse with, while claiming them to be different people; like Chris's [[Disguises|similar past attempts]] to cover himself, these are quite feeble and transparent.

Christorians long could not discern the true motivations behind Sockness's unusual behaviour. For a while, Jacob appeared to be the first [[TRUE and HONEST]] believer in [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and the [[Dimensional Merge]] after Chris, setting him apart from the [[Jessica Quinn|various]] [[CWCProtectSquad|trolls]] professing to protect Chris and the [[Sarah and Steve|many]] [[Future message from Crystal W Chandler|previous]] [[Multidimensional White Knights|imitators]] of the [[Idea Guys]] pretending to belong to Chris's abortive [[Chris and his Ego|personality cult]]. Over the months, evidence would gradually unearth that indicated that his feelings were not earnest. As early as [[November 2018]], Sockness admitted in an interview that he did not seriously believe in the nascent [[Dimensional Merge]].<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhV7At8N4x4&t=274s Interview with Sockness on YouTube, conducted 18 November 2018, released 29 October 2019]</ref> When Chris allowed Jacob access to his Twitter account on 11 July 2019, he boasted about it on [[Reddit]], even claiming that his sexual attraction to Chris was a facade.<ref>[[:File:KinkAct.png|Sockness states his erotic desires for Chris are not genuine, 11 July 2019]]</ref> On 21 September 2019, when a [[white knight|concerned onlooker]] tried to warn Chris that Sockness was tantamount to an autistic [[Idea Guy]], Sockness embraced the charges of manipulation, justifying his actions as protecting Chris against other trolls.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/8-15-sockness-enabling-chriss-magi-chan-role-playing-luring-him-for-a-visit.59770/post-5361506 Dialogue between Sockness and onlooker]</ref>
[[Image:SocknessExplainsHimself.PNG|250px|right]]

== Early interactions with Chris==
{{quote|The Sacred Shoes have samples of cat & doggy DNA. Looking for the Treasures of Heaven, a single hair from Christine's head to put into an amulet of serious power to manifest one's dreams. This is a divine experience.|Sockness<ref><s>https://twitter.com/darkseed2012/status/1107477177149251585</s> Deleted</ref>}}

Sockness has spent hundreds on buying items from Chris's [[eBay]], notably buying his old shoes for worshipping purposes. Chris blocked him on [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Twitter Twitter] on 31 January 2019. By 22 [[May 2019]], Jacob's YouTube channel was terminated, and his Twitter account seemed to have disappeared.

[[File:JacobBlockedLOL.png|thumb|left|200px|Jacob's reaction to Chris blocking him on Twitter via a [[sockpuppet]].]]

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = I have the Sonishoes
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AYIzRYW3uDc}}
| Stardate = 16 March 2019
| Maker = Jacob S
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

[[Image:Followed.png|200px|right]]
[[Image:KinkAct.png|200px|right]]
Still, this would not be the end of Sockness's involvement with Chris; he would create a new Twitter account named Chris Kink. On 11 July 2019, while Chris was trying to raise funds to pay for a hotel room at the 2019 [[BronyCon]], troll [[SonichuMerch]] told Chris that Sockness might be interested in buying his bath water. Chris saw dollar signs and followed Sockness.

{{quote|The Sonichu merch guy told Chris I was interested in the buying some bath water. The guy doesn't know I have no money to buy it due to issues with Social Security in May. Even if I had the money, Chris has to follow some exact rules to creating what I need from him. I need him to make and bless some holy water with his juices in it.|Sockness explains why Chris started following him.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/cbmq7m/chris_is_following_sockness_on_twitter/ethqxsd/</ref>}}

After establishing direct communication with Chris, on 14 July, Sockness tweeted that he would open a vendor account on [[eBay]] for Chris, acting as warehouse, clearing-house and middleman. Chris responded with gratitude.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-7-14-chris-will-circumvent-his-ebay-seller-ban-by-teaming-up-with-sockness.58419/ Twitter 7/14 - Chris will circumvent his Ebay seller ban by teaming up with Sockness]</ref> The next day, Chris re-tweeted a GoFundMe campaign by Sockness to raise $300, nominally as a ''shipping fund''.<ref>http://archive.fo/nkTcS</ref> As of [[September 2019]], Sockness has failed to restore Chris's access to eBay, which would be prohibited at any rate, though he has continued to set up GoFundMe pages for [[Chris and money|Chris's incidental expenses]], as when [[Son-chu|his car]] broke down and needed a thousand dollars worth of repairs.<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Car is repaired but Chris needs cash (again)]]</ref>

[[File:JacobWhiteKnight.jpg|thumb|200px|left|White Knight Blue Heart, Sockness's primary Twitter identity while planning to travel to Chris's home.]]
[[File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p15.jpg|thumb|200px|Jakoba in [[Sonichu 14|''Sonichu'' #14]].]]

Once Sockness had his foot in the door, he began talking to Chris about his own alternate dimension fantasies, further enabling Chris's delusional thoughts.

{{quote|Firstly, and mainly, I am not under Anyone’s Control. And second, I still support the Rokat and all the good peoples in Andromeda. I need to meditate further for more sound responses and thoughts. For now I will simply state that your research is valuable, indeed. Going silent.|Chris, addressing Sockness. He believes he is not under anyone's control while parroting Sockness's lore.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1154376923520352256</ref>}}

Chris featured Jakoba, an OC created by Sockness, in [[Sonichu 14|''Sonichu'' #14]]. As Sockness put it: "She drew Jakoba, from one of mine when her CPU pals wanted to see the Rokat".<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/cgybzh/chris_drawing_with_his_awkward_pen_grip_while/euxv3zz/</ref> For most of summer 2019, the two would interact relatively little, though other [[weens]] would try to push them closer together.<ref>[[Sarah and Steve]]</ref> In [[August 2019]], Chris, through his [[Magi-Chan]] sockpuppet on Twitter, [[naïve]]ly dismissed Sockness's violent inclinations and approved the idea of him coming to visit.<ref>[[August 2019 social media posts#Magi-Chan responds to Sockness' violent tendencies]]</ref> Meanwhile, Sockness would complain on Reddit that [[Chris and work|Chris's laziness]] would delay the [[Dimensional Merge]] (or ''Merger'', as he calls it) practically for ever.<ref>[http://archive.is/CrUwb Sockness grumbles that Chris's laziness will protract the Merge until he is dead of old age]</ref>

[[File:AlogSockness.jpg|thumb|200px|left|Jacob A-Logging Snyder.]]
On 20 September, a rumor began making the rounds amongst Christorians that Michael [[Snyder]] opened a new game store just outside the DC Suburbs. A link to an obituary site that listed one for Michael's father was also circulating and Jacob took the liberty of leaving a threatening comment in the guestbook. He basically said that God struck him down for Michael banning Chris from his store and that Chris and Magi-Chan will start the Dimensional Merge. He also added that God will strike down Michael next, all punctuated with a creepy picture of him donning his Chris garb and a cowboy hat.<ref>https://www.hillandwood.com/guestbook/255474</ref>

== Abortive Virginia trip ==
[[File:Socknesstraininfo.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Sockness's ominously one-way train ticket, with dates blacked out. Astute Kiwis have calculated that Sockness should have arrived on Saturday evening (28 September 2019) in [[Charlottesville]] had he continued.]]
On 7 [[September 2019]], Sockness released a [[Sockness impersonates Magi-Chan|fabricated conversation]] between himself and [[Magi-Chan]] from [[May 2019|that May]], in which he declared that he and Chris would need meet in person and marry for the [[Dimensional Merge]] to proceed. Though Chris affirmed thereafter that the counterfeit dialogue was [[TRUE and HONEST|trustworthy]] and [[Financhu Crisis|begged]] for the funding to travel to California,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sockness-manipulated-chris-with-threat-to-stop-the-merge-rping-as-magi-chan.60642/post-5298762</ref> he changed tactics within a few days, stating on Twitter that Chris, [[Chris and reality|in Magi-Chan's body]], had arrived on the West Coast from "behind the [[dimension]]al curtain",<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Longing for the Teen Troon Saga]]</ref> while Chris's body was safely in [[Virginia]]. Nevertheless, Chris remained interested in Sockness coming to visit him at [[14 Branchland Court|home]].<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#The fabled return of the real Chris]]</ref>

[[File:BarneySatanism.jpeg|thumb|left|200px|The rift between Jacob and Chris continued to widen on 28 September 2019, when Chris refused to join in Sockness's worship of [[Wikipedia:Barney & Friends|Barney]], whom Jacob believes to be Satan.]]
As autumn 2019 began, months of casual on-line role-playing would come to a head: on 24 September, Sockness reported that he had bought train tickets to make the transcontinental trip to Chris.<ref>[https://archive.fo/vS8ac Sockness announces he has secured transport on Reddit]</ref> He made clear that his intent was both [[Chris and sex|sexual]] and [[Chris and violence|violent]] on Reddit, comparing his plans for Chris's rear to Germany's devastation by Allied bombings during [[Manchester High Leaks#Japan War Essay|the War]],<ref>[http://archive.is/kGTRi Sockness: 'I'll just destroy her ass like carpeting bombing Germany in WWII. It'll be in flaming ruin.']</ref> despite being physically incapable of such a feat.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-5643632 Sockness reveals incapacity to rape Chris, 27 November 2019]</ref>

However, only a day later, Chris posted a statement on Twitter along with a short audio clip, [[ChrisReleasesAStatementRegardingJacobSockness]], indicating his desire for Sockness to return home after Sockness had left for Virginia, and saying that somebody in Chicago would provide him with a return ticket.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-9-26-chris-sees-red-flags-about-sockness-cancels-his-visit.61648/post-5384612 Chris declares Sockness's destiny is to go home, asks his followers to stop him in Chicago]</ref> It seemed that Chris had a moment of clarity long enough to realise the magnitude of what was possibly going to happen if he let Sockness make his way to Virginia and into [[14BC]]. He elaborated on his decisions a day later, including a statement from one of Jacob's imaginary gods, Michiro. In his statement, Chris cited [[Chris and health|his health]] as unconducive to having guests, and that Jacob had gone down the path of evil. Chris also said that he foresaw that he and Jacob would end up in a similar situation to how Chris and [[Cole Smithey]] are. On 26 September, Sockness admitted defeat, tweeting that his "involvement with the Dimensional Merge has ended in failure" and that he would delete his Twitter account upon returning home.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-9-26-chris-sees-red-flags-about-sockness-cancels-his-visit.61648/page-6#post-5384295 Sockness quits, tweet screenshot mirrored on Kiwi Farms]</ref> Chris would confirm that Sockness had turned back the next day.<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Sockness is going home]]</ref> In a [[honor roll|poorly thought out]] attempt to save face, Sockness would later claim that his train ticket was his own forgery, and the entire Virginia trip a sham.<ref name=hoax>[[:File:SockHoax.jpg|Tweet by Sockness, 16 October 2019]]</ref>

== Failed romance ==
[[File:Sockness managing Chris's Patreon.jpeg|thumb|200px|Sockness handling Chris's Patreon funding, as he did with eBay earlier in the year.]]
Despite spending over $1,500 through the course of his failed bid for Chris's attention, Sockness remained determined to win his prize in the end, and managed to slither back into Chris's inner circle of orbiters despite his dangerous behaviour. He apologised for his [[Chris and anger|emotional outbursts]] to reconcile with Chris, and has indicated that he wishes to try visiting Chris again at some indeterminate future time, making sure to bring a mutual friend along with him.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SocknessPlans.png</ref> When Chris indicated on 28 September his wish to attend [[April 2020|BABSCon]], to be held in April 2020 just outside of San Francisco, Sockness consoled himself that he would see Chris in person after all.<ref>[http://archive.is/j8eth Sockness's Twitter, archived 30 September 2019]</ref> However, he and Chris would not converse again for over two weeks after this.
[[File:TruePals.png|thumb|200px|left|Sarah and Steve declare themselves outright to favour Sockness with this original artwork.]]
Halfway through October 2019, Sockness entered the picture again. On 12 October, Chris whined on Twitter about complaints from customers regarding the [[Patreon]] books they had not received.<ref>[[October 2019 social media posts#Chris orders the Shipfic cards, snaps at customers wanting books]]</ref> Sockness, sensing an opportunity to regain access to Chris, discussed the matter with him, and then announced with his approval<ref>[[October 2019 social media posts#Good News to Patient Patrons (Patreon post)]]</ref> that he would be taking over management of the Patreon's financing, ostensibly to help, in a similar move to his managing Chris's eBay several months earlier. Emboldened, Sockness proclaimed on 16 October that he would fly to Virginia sometime about [[Halloween]].<ref name=hoax /> He promptly resumed hitting on Chris over Twitter, with Chris playing into it: on 19 October, Sockness, commenting on a video clip of cosplayers kissing, said: "How about it Love @CPU_CWCSonichu?", to which Chris answered, "I’m not gonna cosplay as Deadpool or a Zombie, but we can kiss at the future time."<ref name=cankiss>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1185683452282261505</ref> Halloween 2019 came and went with no indication that Sockness had flown to Virginia as he said he would.

Shifting tactics, Sockness determined to cordon Chris off from other social interactions, establishing himself as the only one Chris could trust. On 3 [[November 2019]] he managed to sour Chris's opinion of [[Null]].<ref>[[Null#Chris turns against Null]]</ref> Later that week, Sockness allied with a newly returned [[Sarah and Steve]] in byzantine Twitter dialogues ''defending'' Chris against others, including the [[Multidimensional White Knights]] and [[MKRNightVee]], who also seek to gain influence over him.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-11-3-sockness-manipulating-chris-to-trust-only-him-chris-turns-against-null.62825/post-5562273 Peak autism, 8 November 2019]</ref> Among his methods to suppress rivals, Sockness would harass MKRNightVee in direct messages.<ref name=screech>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-5646079 Merge table talk, 27 November 2019]</ref> Further seeking to cut Chris off from other contacts, including those who [[Guard Dogs|genuinely mean him well]], Sockness created a list of various [[Kiwi Farms]] and [[Twitter]] users he deemed untrustworthy for criticising his bid for control.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-11-3-sockness-manipulating-chris-to-trust-only-him-chris-turns-against-null.62825/post-5576554 Sockness's Black Book, 11 November 2019]</ref>

===Friendzoning and second estrangement===
{{quote|I was following the request of Magi-Chan to keep on with Jacob, yet my feelings for him have developed, during the months. As for the present, I had to cool the romance, because even I Knew the whole time it was not meant to be, and Jacob's usefulness had become compromised.|Chris explaining his reasons for involving himself with Sockness to a random [[ween]]<ref name=aqua>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-5653000 Chris blames Magi-Chan for Sockness, 30 November 2019]</ref>}}
Pressuring Chris to abandon his other contacts ultimately backfired. Chris received the list itself lukewarmly: while he affirmed that he was in [[Love Quest|love]] with Sockness, he still maintained some reservations on account of his many faults.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-11-3-sockness-manipulating-chris-to-trust-only-him-chris-turns-against-null.62825/post-5574329 Chris endorses Sockness against MKR, 11 November 2019]</ref> He challenged Sockness, noting that the list comprised mostly of Sockness's own enemies and asking whether he would be blacklisted also were he to turn on him.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-11-3-sockness-manipulating-chris-to-trust-only-him-chris-turns-against-null.62825/post-5578153 Chris's challenge for Sockness, 11 November 2019]</ref> Sockness went on to defeat the various pretenders to his position without much fanfare, though in vain: Chris was repulsed by Sockness's professed associations with demons, and issued a statement on 28 November 2019 that he was not in a romantic relationship with him, and moreover that the Dimensional Merge would be endangered by such intimacy with him.<ref>[http://archive.is/FVISg Chris rejects Sockness's overtures, 28 November 2019]</ref> His decision was applauded by other weens, some of whom had become Jacob's targets. Nonetheless, Chris still counts Sockness as a friend, and thinks of himself as protecting him against demons.<ref name=screech />

As had come to pass two months earlier, when Chris disrupted his journey to Virginia, Sockness responded to the word that he had been rejected with [[tard rage]]. He delivered an [[Chris and negotiation|ultimatum]] to Chris, threatening to revoke his tacit permission to use his fictional setting in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' and pursue him for [[Things Chris has ripped off|copyright infringement]] if he continues to use them, unless, of course, they become [[homos|husband]] and [[tomgirl|wife]].<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/11-29-sockness-takes-his-ball-and-goes-home.63588/post-5650528 Sockness turns on Chris, 29 November 2019]</ref> While he mostly conceded, agreeing with [[Stress|indifference]] no longer to use Jacob's demonic characters in his own works, he displayed in an autistic Parthian shot his usual [[honor roll|comprehension level]] of how [[Chris and copyright|intellectual property]] works: Chris's own experiences and memories of Jacob's [[dimensions|fictional universe]] were inviolable. Sockness remained adamant, sternly reiterating the [[Chris and the law|legal limits]] on what Chris could do [[Chris and money|financially]] with his characters in an endeavour to bring him back into his flabby arms. Holding firm, Chris stolidly himself of him by writing off their past business together as being at [[Magi-Chan]]'s request and describing Sockness as having outlived his usefulness.<ref name=aqua /> Neither would speak to each other again for over three weeks, and their friendship was dealt an irreparable blow.

Unlike the [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|deep scars]] left to the ''Sonichu'' canon by the Idea Guys, Sockness's deviant contributions, if not rejected outright, were turned on their head and made impotent to warp Chris's thought any more than it [[Chris and reality|already is]]. Against Sockness's order not to use his fantasy world, Chris would release on 16 [[December 2019]] a [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder|trading card]] declaring that his final triumph over Jacob and his infernal horde was assured.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-5727293 Chris commemorates his victory, 16 December 2019]</ref> Later that month, Sockness sought to spark conflict between Chris and [[MKRNightVee]], but Chris recognised and dismissed these as the fabrications they were.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-5755364 Sockness denounced as forger, 22 December 2019]</ref> For once, Chris had successfully managed to circumnavigate the malicious intent of one of his many orbiters. Chris's own autistic machinations have thwarted Sockness for now, but it does not seem likely that this is the end of Jacob's involvement with him.
{{clear}}

==See also==
*[[Kidasuna]]
*[[Sockness impersonates Magi-Chan]]

==References==
<references/>

{{fantasies}}
{{Sweethearts}}
{{People}}
{{Trolls}}
[[Category:People]]

Minor Family Members

2020-02-15T15:07:31Z

Rtucker913: /* Jonathan Carey */

{{Quote|mom and dad's relatives gave us constant cold shoulders, thinking they're royalty, when really they're no better off.|Chris, 2011<ref>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 1.jpg|thumb|right|It's a Chandler family reunion! From bottom left, clockwise: Uncle Raymond, Cousin Jonathan, [[Christian]], [[Bob]], and everyone's favorite, [[Yawning Squirtle]].]]
[[Chris]]'s family has many '''minor family members''' about whom not enough is known to constitute their own articles. The family members who do not reside at [[14 Branchland Court]] generally lead relatively normal lives. This article aims to chronicle said relatives mentioned by Chris directly or indirectly.

==Chandler family==

===Patricia Chandler===
[[File:patharley.png|right|thumb|150px|Patricia Harley, 1954]]
'''Patricia Faye Harley''' (born 20 November 1935), is Bob Chandler's first wife, a native Floridian and the mother of Drs. Carol and David.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref> She and Bob married at the respective ages of 20 and 29 on 29 September 1956 in Winston-Salem, North Carolina and divorced on 28 January 1980 after a year-long separation. She was still alive at the time of Bob's death.

=== Carol Chandler ===
[[File:Carol Amiibo.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Carol [[Amiibo]].]]
'''Dr. Carol Suzanne Chandler''' (born 7 July 1969)<ref name="FamilyTreeTitle">[[:File:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG]]</ref> is Chris's half-sister and daughter of the late [[Bob Chandler]] and his first wife Patricia.

According to Chris, Carol is a Math "[[Chris and English#Spelling|Geinus]]" [sic] and "wiz."<ref>[[Chandler Family Tree]]</ref> She is known to have won the [[1980s#1988|1988]] Mathematics Department McShane Prize at the [[University of Virginia]].<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20121116162715/http://artsandsciences.virginia.edu/mathematics/newsevents/awards/index.html Department of Mathematics, University of Virginia] (archive from 16 Nov 2012)</ref> Carol attended [[Providence Middle School]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> Later, she was a member of [[Wikipedia:Phi Beta Kappa Society|Phi Beta Kappa]]. She earned a Ph.D. and is or was working for the federal government in Washington, D.C.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref>

According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. She and Bob seemed to have a negative or distant relationship, as it was implied in the [[Savannah]] messages that she did not attend his funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler3.png]]</ref> In [[November 2015]], Chris made a [[YouTube]] [[Family Needs to appreciate Family|video]] in which he and his allies beat up Carol and other family members in Super Smash Bros. "Alan and Carol, you two have never really appreciated our Father," he wrote in the video description. "There WAS Time for you two to share time with him before his passing, but NO, you all have been selfish and caught up in your own lives that HE gave to us." He posted an image of a Carol [[Amiibo]] on [[Facebook]], depicting her as a heartless [[Janekop]].

=== David Chandler ===
[[Image:Davidchandler.jpg|right|thumb|David Alan Chandler.]]
[[File:David Amiibo.jpg|right|thumb|150px|David as a [[Jerkop]], in Amiibo form.]]
'''Dr. David Alan Chandler''' (born 28 November 1962)<ref name="FamilyTreeTitle" /><ref>[http://www.healthgrades.com/physician/dr-david-chandler-x6gx6 Dr. David A. Chandler, MD - Mechanicsville, VA - Ophthalmology | Healthgrades.com]</ref> is an [[Wikipedia:ophthalmologist|ophthalmologist]] in [[Richmond]], Glen Allen and Mechanicsville, Virginia, son of [[Bob Chandler]] and Bob's ex wife Patricia, and older half-brother to Chris. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s obituary told us that his wife's name is Kimberly.<ref name="BobObit" />

David went to high school in [[Wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]],<ref name="richmondeye.com">[http://web.archive.org/web/20131102235159/http://richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp D. Alan Chandler on Richmond Eye Associates site] (archive from 2 Nov 2013)</ref> studied medicine at [[Wikipedia:Virginia Commonwealth University|Virginia Commonwealth University]], and trained at [[Wikipedia:Washington Hospital Center|Washington Hospital Center]].<ref>[http://www.wellness.com/dir/2474208/ophthalmologist/va/glen-allen/david-chandler-richmond-eye-associates-md]</ref> He has donated at least $1,000 to the Republican Party,<ref>[http://www.campaignmoney.com/political/contributions/david-chandler.asp?cycle=08]</ref> showing that, at least, he agreed with his father on politics. He specializes in small incision cataract extraction with lens implant, medical and surgical management of glaucoma, and the diagnosis and treatment of diabetic eye disease.<ref name="richmondeye.com"/>

Chris had an eye exam with him on 6 January [[2004]] and learned then that David had a daughter by the name of [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]], making Chris an uncle and Bob a grandfather. [[Chris and Reality|Chris also falsely claimed it made Barb a grandmother]].

[[CWC's Diary|Diary]] entry:
{{quote|'''January 6:''' Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist [''sic''], and big half-brother, Dr. David Alan Chandler, for an Eye-Exam. I needed new lenses, but I can keep my [[Pedo-glasses|current frames]]. But apparently, he has an 8-year-old daughter, Savannah. So for about 8 years, I’ve been an uncle and didn’t know it. Of course, this also makes my parents into grandparents as well. Needless to say, we were happy to know about that.|Christian Weston Chandler}}

One weekend Chris and Bob traveled to David's house to visit his family. The family was not at home, so Chris and Bob left gifts with the next door neighbors to give to them; an angel for Savannah from Bob and squinkles with a display from Chris<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler2.jpg]]</ref>.

Unlike Carol, David attended Bob's funeral. At the funeral Chris presented him with further gifts to give to Savannah.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler.png]]</ref>

In [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]], Chris called David out on not visiting Barb, seemingly unaware or ignorant of the fact that being a practicing eye doctor, David probably had more important things to focus on, and that David likely has little history with Barb which would inspire him to visit.

=== Uncle Wayne ===

A copy of [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Chris's DVD]] that was sent to a troll included a list of people whom Chris wanted to present in the DVD, but could not do so due to not having a picture of them. One of those people was an uncle from Bob's side called Wayne.<ref>[[:File:Chrispaper2.jpg|Chrispaper2.jpg]]</ref> Virtually nothing is known about him.

=== Unnamed relatives in North Carolina ===

In his [[Bob's Letters to Chris|letter to Chris from 1987]], Bob mentioned that his father, like him and Barb, had children through a second marriage, who at the time resided near [[Wikipedia:Salem, North Carolina|Salem, North Carolina]]. As Bob was the only child of his father's marriage to his mother, Uncle Wayne was presumably one of these half-siblings.

=== Unnamed Maternal Cousin ===
According to the [[Autism papers]], Chris has a severely [[autistic]] cousin on his [[Barb|mother's]] side. Other than that, nothing is known about that cousin.

=== Unnamed relatives in Oklahoma ===

During the course of two prank calls Bob mentioned that he has a cousin and several [[Cherokee]] relatives in Oklahoma.<ref>[[Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself]]</ref><ref>[[Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler]]</ref> Nothing else is known about them.

=== Jonathan Carey ===
[[File:JohnKerry.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Chris's cousin?]]

Jonathan Bailey Carey<ref>http://www.woodfuneralservice.com/obituary.aspx?MemberId=55269&MName=Corrina%20Weston%20Carey%20Inge</ref> (Born 21 September 1987) is Chris's second cousin (being [[Aunt Corrina]]'s grandson) who was married on the last weekend of June, [[2009]]. He lives in Red Oak, [[Virginia]]. According to Chris, his presence at the wedding is proof that he did not murder [[BILLY MAYS|BILLY MAYS]]{{cite}}.

June 2009 Wedding Photos:
<center><gallery>
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 2.jpg
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 3.png
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 4.jpg
File:ECP 00077.jpg|And an unwanted gift, too!
</gallery></center>

===Uncle Raymond ===
Uncle Raymond Inge is Chris's step-uncle, the widower of [[Aunt Corrina]] and the step-grandfather of Jonathan Carey<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/chrischantrueandhonestfamilytree-jpg.999302/ Chris's extended family tree]</ref>. According to Chris, Uncle Raymond can be contacted as a witness to Chris at Jonathan's wedding. Raymond is the stepbrother-in-law of [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]], making Jonathan her great-nephew.

===Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom===
[[File:0039-AuntHerriet.jpg|thumb|left|This is pretty much all we've got.]]
[[File:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|thumb|right|Save for this.]]
'''Harriet Ashby''' (née '''Weston''') is Barbara's sister. She was born on 9 January 1947, and was married to Thomas Eugene Ashby on 29 May 1964 in Charlotte County, VA. Thomas was born on 28 October 1942.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d150.html#P150</ref>

Harriet seems to admire the American presidents, and considering the number of flags she has on her Christmas tree, she is a TRUE and HONEST [[United States of America|American]] patriot. Tom, according to Chris, is a retired fire inspector, and offered Barb advice after her [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house burned down]].

As Chris told [[Catherine]] during her real-life meeting with him, Harriet and Tom still occasionally exchange pleasantries with Barb, but do not allow her over to their home. They have not even told Barb what their address is. Barb possibly went after Tom very aggressively when she was young.

{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

== External links ==
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20131102235159/http://richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp Dr. Chandler's profile] (archive from 2 Nov 2013)

==See also==
*[[Aunt Corrina]]
*[[Cole Smithey]]
*[[Savannah Chandler]]
*[[Chandler Family Tree]]

{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Family Members]]

Minor Family Members

2020-02-15T15:07:09Z

Rtucker913: I found the full name and birthdate of Jonathan Carey on ancestry.com, also added the surname of Uncle Raymond

{{Quote|mom and dad's relatives gave us constant cold shoulders, thinking they're royalty, when really they're no better off.|Chris, 2011<ref>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 1.jpg|thumb|right|It's a Chandler family reunion! From bottom left, clockwise: Uncle Raymond, Cousin Jonathan, [[Christian]], [[Bob]], and everyone's favorite, [[Yawning Squirtle]].]]
[[Chris]]'s family has many '''minor family members''' about whom not enough is known to constitute their own articles. The family members who do not reside at [[14 Branchland Court]] generally lead relatively normal lives. This article aims to chronicle said relatives mentioned by Chris directly or indirectly.

==Chandler family==

===Patricia Chandler===
[[File:patharley.png|right|thumb|150px|Patricia Harley, 1954]]
'''Patricia Faye Harley''' (born 20 November 1935), is Bob Chandler's first wife, a native Floridian and the mother of Drs. Carol and David.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref> She and Bob married at the respective ages of 20 and 29 on 29 September 1956 in Winston-Salem, North Carolina and divorced on 28 January 1980 after a year-long separation. She was still alive at the time of Bob's death.

=== Carol Chandler ===
[[File:Carol Amiibo.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Carol [[Amiibo]].]]
'''Dr. Carol Suzanne Chandler''' (born 7 July 1969)<ref name="FamilyTreeTitle">[[:File:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG]]</ref> is Chris's half-sister and daughter of the late [[Bob Chandler]] and his first wife Patricia.

According to Chris, Carol is a Math "[[Chris and English#Spelling|Geinus]]" [sic] and "wiz."<ref>[[Chandler Family Tree]]</ref> She is known to have won the [[1980s#1988|1988]] Mathematics Department McShane Prize at the [[University of Virginia]].<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20121116162715/http://artsandsciences.virginia.edu/mathematics/newsevents/awards/index.html Department of Mathematics, University of Virginia] (archive from 16 Nov 2012)</ref> Carol attended [[Providence Middle School]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> Later, she was a member of [[Wikipedia:Phi Beta Kappa Society|Phi Beta Kappa]]. She earned a Ph.D. and is or was working for the federal government in Washington, D.C.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref>

According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. She and Bob seemed to have a negative or distant relationship, as it was implied in the [[Savannah]] messages that she did not attend his funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler3.png]]</ref> In [[November 2015]], Chris made a [[YouTube]] [[Family Needs to appreciate Family|video]] in which he and his allies beat up Carol and other family members in Super Smash Bros. "Alan and Carol, you two have never really appreciated our Father," he wrote in the video description. "There WAS Time for you two to share time with him before his passing, but NO, you all have been selfish and caught up in your own lives that HE gave to us." He posted an image of a Carol [[Amiibo]] on [[Facebook]], depicting her as a heartless [[Janekop]].

=== David Chandler ===
[[Image:Davidchandler.jpg|right|thumb|David Alan Chandler.]]
[[File:David Amiibo.jpg|right|thumb|150px|David as a [[Jerkop]], in Amiibo form.]]
'''Dr. David Alan Chandler''' (born 28 November 1962)<ref name="FamilyTreeTitle" /><ref>[http://www.healthgrades.com/physician/dr-david-chandler-x6gx6 Dr. David A. Chandler, MD - Mechanicsville, VA - Ophthalmology | Healthgrades.com]</ref> is an [[Wikipedia:ophthalmologist|ophthalmologist]] in [[Richmond]], Glen Allen and Mechanicsville, Virginia, son of [[Bob Chandler]] and Bob's ex wife Patricia, and older half-brother to Chris. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s obituary told us that his wife's name is Kimberly.<ref name="BobObit" />

David went to high school in [[Wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]],<ref name="richmondeye.com">[http://web.archive.org/web/20131102235159/http://richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp D. Alan Chandler on Richmond Eye Associates site] (archive from 2 Nov 2013)</ref> studied medicine at [[Wikipedia:Virginia Commonwealth University|Virginia Commonwealth University]], and trained at [[Wikipedia:Washington Hospital Center|Washington Hospital Center]].<ref>[http://www.wellness.com/dir/2474208/ophthalmologist/va/glen-allen/david-chandler-richmond-eye-associates-md]</ref> He has donated at least $1,000 to the Republican Party,<ref>[http://www.campaignmoney.com/political/contributions/david-chandler.asp?cycle=08]</ref> showing that, at least, he agreed with his father on politics. He specializes in small incision cataract extraction with lens implant, medical and surgical management of glaucoma, and the diagnosis and treatment of diabetic eye disease.<ref name="richmondeye.com"/>

Chris had an eye exam with him on 6 January [[2004]] and learned then that David had a daughter by the name of [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]], making Chris an uncle and Bob a grandfather. [[Chris and Reality|Chris also falsely claimed it made Barb a grandmother]].

[[CWC's Diary|Diary]] entry:
{{quote|'''January 6:''' Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist [''sic''], and big half-brother, Dr. David Alan Chandler, for an Eye-Exam. I needed new lenses, but I can keep my [[Pedo-glasses|current frames]]. But apparently, he has an 8-year-old daughter, Savannah. So for about 8 years, I’ve been an uncle and didn’t know it. Of course, this also makes my parents into grandparents as well. Needless to say, we were happy to know about that.|Christian Weston Chandler}}

One weekend Chris and Bob traveled to David's house to visit his family. The family was not at home, so Chris and Bob left gifts with the next door neighbors to give to them; an angel for Savannah from Bob and squinkles with a display from Chris<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler2.jpg]]</ref>.

Unlike Carol, David attended Bob's funeral. At the funeral Chris presented him with further gifts to give to Savannah.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler.png]]</ref>

In [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]], Chris called David out on not visiting Barb, seemingly unaware or ignorant of the fact that being a practicing eye doctor, David probably had more important things to focus on, and that David likely has little history with Barb which would inspire him to visit.

=== Uncle Wayne ===

A copy of [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Chris's DVD]] that was sent to a troll included a list of people whom Chris wanted to present in the DVD, but could not do so due to not having a picture of them. One of those people was an uncle from Bob's side called Wayne.<ref>[[:File:Chrispaper2.jpg|Chrispaper2.jpg]]</ref> Virtually nothing is known about him.

=== Unnamed relatives in North Carolina ===

In his [[Bob's Letters to Chris|letter to Chris from 1987]], Bob mentioned that his father, like him and Barb, had children through a second marriage, who at the time resided near [[Wikipedia:Salem, North Carolina|Salem, North Carolina]]. As Bob was the only child of his father's marriage to his mother, Uncle Wayne was presumably one of these half-siblings.

=== Unnamed Maternal Cousin ===
According to the [[Autism papers]], Chris has a severely [[autistic]] cousin on his [[Barb|mother's]] side. Other than that, nothing is known about that cousin.

=== Unnamed relatives in Oklahoma ===

During the course of two prank calls Bob mentioned that he has a cousin and several [[Cherokee]] relatives in Oklahoma.<ref>[[Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself]]</ref><ref>[[Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler]]</ref> Nothing else is known about them.

=== Jonathan Carey ===
[[File:JohnKerry.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Chris's cousin?]]

Jonathan Bailey Carey<ref>http://www.woodfuneralservice.com/obituary.aspx?MemberId=55269&MName=Corrina%20Weston%20Carey%20Inge</ref> (Born September 21, 1987) is Chris's second cousin (being [[Aunt Corrina]]'s grandson) who was married on the last weekend of June, [[2009]]. He lives in Red Oak, [[Virginia]]. According to Chris, his presence at the wedding is proof that he did not murder [[BILLY MAYS|BILLY MAYS]]{{cite}}.

June 2009 Wedding Photos:
<center><gallery>
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 2.jpg
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 3.png
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 4.jpg
File:ECP 00077.jpg|And an unwanted gift, too!
</gallery></center>

===Uncle Raymond ===
Uncle Raymond Inge is Chris's step-uncle, the widower of [[Aunt Corrina]] and the step-grandfather of Jonathan Carey<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/chrischantrueandhonestfamilytree-jpg.999302/ Chris's extended family tree]</ref>. According to Chris, Uncle Raymond can be contacted as a witness to Chris at Jonathan's wedding. Raymond is the stepbrother-in-law of [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]], making Jonathan her great-nephew.

===Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom===
[[File:0039-AuntHerriet.jpg|thumb|left|This is pretty much all we've got.]]
[[File:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|thumb|right|Save for this.]]
'''Harriet Ashby''' (née '''Weston''') is Barbara's sister. She was born on 9 January 1947, and was married to Thomas Eugene Ashby on 29 May 1964 in Charlotte County, VA. Thomas was born on 28 October 1942.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d150.html#P150</ref>

Harriet seems to admire the American presidents, and considering the number of flags she has on her Christmas tree, she is a TRUE and HONEST [[United States of America|American]] patriot. Tom, according to Chris, is a retired fire inspector, and offered Barb advice after her [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house burned down]].

As Chris told [[Catherine]] during her real-life meeting with him, Harriet and Tom still occasionally exchange pleasantries with Barb, but do not allow her over to their home. They have not even told Barb what their address is. Barb possibly went after Tom very aggressively when she was young.

{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

== External links ==
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20131102235159/http://richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp Dr. Chandler's profile] (archive from 2 Nov 2013)

==See also==
*[[Aunt Corrina]]
*[[Cole Smithey]]
*[[Savannah Chandler]]
*[[Chandler Family Tree]]

{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Family Members]]

Minor Family Members

2020-02-14T01:23:20Z

Rtucker913:

{{Quote|mom and dad's relatives gave us constant cold shoulders, thinking they're royalty, when really they're no better off.|Chris, 2011<ref>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 1.jpg|thumb|right|It's a Chandler family reunion! From bottom left, clockwise: Uncle Raymond, Cousin Jonathan, [[Christian]], [[Bob]], and everyone's favorite, [[Yawning Squirtle]].]]
[[Chris]]'s family has several '''minor family members''' about whom not enough is known to constitute their own articles. The family members who do not reside at [[14 Branchland Court]] generally lead relatively normal lives. David Alan Chandler has especially excelled, becoming an ophthalmologist and doctor.

==Chandler family==

===Patricia Chandler===
[[File:patharley.png|right|thumb|150px|Patricia Harley, 1954]]
'''Patricia Faye Harley''' (born 20 November 1935), is Bob Chandler's first wife, a native Floridian and the mother of Drs. Carol and David.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref> She and Bob married at the respective ages of 20 and 29 on 29 September 1956 in Winston-Salem, North Carolina and divorced on 28 January 1980 after a year-long separation. She was still alive at the time of Bob's death.

=== Carol Chandler ===
[[File:Carol Amiibo.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Carol [[Amiibo]].]]
'''Dr. Carol Suzanne Chandler''' (born 7 July 1969)<ref name="FamilyTreeTitle">[[:File:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG]]</ref> is Chris's half-sister and daughter of the late [[Bob Chandler]] and his first wife Patricia.

According to Chris, Carol is a Math "[[Chris and English#Spelling|Geinus]]" [sic] and "wiz."<ref>[[Chandler Family Tree]]</ref> She is known to have won the [[1980s#1988|1988]] Mathematics Department McShane Prize at the [[University of Virginia]].<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20121116162715/http://artsandsciences.virginia.edu/mathematics/newsevents/awards/index.html Department of Mathematics, University of Virginia] (archive from 16 Nov 2012)</ref> Carol attended [[Providence Middle School]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> Later, she was a member of [[Wikipedia:Phi Beta Kappa Society|Phi Beta Kappa]]. She earned a Ph.D. and is or was working for the federal government in Washington, D.C.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref>

According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. She and Bob seemed to have a negative or distant relationship, as it was implied in the [[Savannah]] messages that she did not attend his funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler3.png]]</ref> In [[November 2015]], Chris made a [[YouTube]] [[Family Needs to appreciate Family|video]] in which he and his allies beat up Carol and other family members in Super Smash Bros. "Alan and Carol, you two have never really appreciated our Father," he wrote in the video description. "There WAS Time for you two to share time with him before his passing, but NO, you all have been selfish and caught up in your own lives that HE gave to us." He posted an image of a Carol [[Amiibo]] on [[Facebook]], depicting her as a heartless [[Janekop]].

=== David Chandler ===
[[Image:Davidchandler.jpg|right|thumb|David Alan Chandler.]]
[[File:David Amiibo.jpg|right|thumb|150px|David as a [[Jerkop]], in Amiibo form.]]
'''Dr. David Alan Chandler''' (born 28 November 1962)<ref name="FamilyTreeTitle" /><ref>[http://www.healthgrades.com/physician/dr-david-chandler-x6gx6 Dr. David A. Chandler, MD - Mechanicsville, VA - Ophthalmology | Healthgrades.com]</ref> is an [[Wikipedia:ophthalmologist|ophthalmologist]] in [[Richmond]], Glen Allen and Mechanicsville, Virginia, son of [[Bob Chandler]] and Bob's ex wife Patricia, and older half-brother to Chris. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s obituary told us that his wife's name is Kimberly.<ref name="BobObit" />

David went to high school in [[Wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]],<ref name="richmondeye.com">[http://web.archive.org/web/20131102235159/http://richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp D. Alan Chandler on Richmond Eye Associates site] (archive from 2 Nov 2013)</ref> studied medicine at [[Wikipedia:Virginia Commonwealth University|Virginia Commonwealth University]], and trained at [[Wikipedia:Washington Hospital Center|Washington Hospital Center]].<ref>[http://www.wellness.com/dir/2474208/ophthalmologist/va/glen-allen/david-chandler-richmond-eye-associates-md]</ref> He has donated at least $1,000 to the Republican Party,<ref>[http://www.campaignmoney.com/political/contributions/david-chandler.asp?cycle=08]</ref> showing that, at least, he agreed with his father on politics. He specializes in small incision cataract extraction with lens implant, medical and surgical management of glaucoma, and the diagnosis and treatment of diabetic eye disease.<ref name="richmondeye.com"/>

Chris had an eye exam with him on 6 January [[2004]] and learned then that David had a daughter by the name of [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]], making Chris an uncle and Bob a grandfather. [[Chris and Reality|Chris also falsely claimed it made Barb a grandmother]].

[[CWC's Diary|Diary]] entry:
{{quote|'''January 6:''' Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist [''sic''], and big half-brother, Dr. David Alan Chandler, for an Eye-Exam. I needed new lenses, but I can keep my [[Pedo-glasses|current frames]]. But apparently, he has an 8-year-old daughter, Savannah. So for about 8 years, I’ve been an uncle and didn’t know it. Of course, this also makes my parents into grandparents as well. Needless to say, we were happy to know about that.|Christian Weston Chandler}}

One weekend Chris and Bob traveled to David's house to visit his family. The family was not at home, so Chris and Bob left gifts with the next door neighbors to give to them; an angel for Savannah from Bob and squinkles with a display from Chris<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler2.jpg]]</ref>.

Unlike Carol, David attended Bob's funeral. At the funeral Chris presented him with further gifts to give to Savannah.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler.png]]</ref>

In [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]], Chris called David out on not visiting Barb, seemingly unaware or ignorant of the fact that being a practicing eye doctor, David probably had more important things to focus on, and that David likely has little history with Barb which would inspire him to visit.

=== Uncle Wayne ===

A copy of [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Chris's DVD]] that was sent to a troll included a list of people whom Chris wanted to present in the DVD, but could not do so due to not having a picture of them. One of those people was an uncle from Bob's side called Wayne.<ref>[[:File:Chrispaper2.jpg|Chrispaper2.jpg]]</ref> Virtually nothing is known about him.

=== Unnamed relatives in North Carolina ===

In his [[Bob's Letters to Chris|letter to Chris from 1987]], Bob mentioned that his father, like him and Barb, had children through a second marriage, who at the time resided near [[Wikipedia:Salem, North Carolina|Salem, North Carolina]]. As Bob was the only child of his father's marriage to his mother, Uncle Wayne was presumably one of these half-siblings.

=== Unnamed Maternal Cousin ===
According to the [[Autism papers]], Chris has a severely [[autistic]] cousin on his [[Barb|mother's]] side. Other than that, nothing is known about that cousin.

=== Unnamed relatives in Oklahoma ===

During the course of two prank calls Bob mentioned that he has a cousin and several [[Cherokee]] relatives in Oklahoma.<ref>[[Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself]]</ref><ref>[[Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler]]</ref> Nothing else is known about them.

=== Jonathan Carey ===
[[File:JohnKerry.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Chris's cousin?]]

Jonathan Carey<ref>http://www.woodfuneralservice.com/obituary.aspx?MemberId=55269&MName=Corrina%20Weston%20Carey%20Inge</ref> is Chris's second cousin (being [[Aunt Corrina]]'s grandson) who was married on the last weekend of June, [[2009]]. He lives in Red Oak, [[Virginia]]. According to Chris, his presence at the wedding is proof that he did not murder [[BILLY MAYS|BILLY MAYS]]{{cite}}.

June 2009 Wedding Photos:
<center><gallery>
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 2.jpg
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 3.png
File:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 4.jpg
File:ECP 00077.jpg|And an unwanted gift, too!
</gallery></center>

===Uncle Raymond ===
Uncle Raymond is Chris's step-uncle, the widower of [[Aunt Corrina]] and the step-grandfather of Jonathan Carey<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/chrischantrueandhonestfamilytree-jpg.999302/ Chris's extended family tree]</ref>. According to Chris, Uncle Raymond can be contacted as a witness to Chris at Jonathan's wedding. Raymond is the stepbrother-in-law of [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]], making Jonathan her great-nephew.

===Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom===
[[File:0039-AuntHerriet.jpg|thumb|left|This is pretty much all we've got.]]
[[File:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|thumb|right|Save for this.]]
'''Harriet Ashby''' (née '''Weston''') is Barbara's sister. She was born on 9 January 1947, and was married to Thomas Eugene Ashby on 29 May 1964 in Charlotte County, VA. Thomas was born on 28 October 1942.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d150.html#P150</ref>

Harriet seems to admire the American presidents, and considering the number of flags she has on her Christmas tree, she is a TRUE and HONEST [[United States of America|American]] patriot. Tom, according to Chris, is a retired fire inspector, and offered Barb advice after her [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house burned down]].

As Chris told [[Catherine]] during her real-life meeting with him, Harriet and Tom still occasionally exchange pleasantries with Barb, but do not allow her over to their home. They have not even told Barb what their address is. Barb possibly went after Tom very aggressively when she was young.

{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

== External links ==
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20131102235159/http://richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp Dr. Chandler's profile] (archive from 2 Nov 2013)

==See also==
*[[Aunt Corrina]]
*[[Cole Smithey]]
*[[Savannah Chandler]]
*[[Chandler Family Tree]]

{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Family Members]]

File:Patharley.png

2020-02-14T01:23:12Z

Rtucker913: Photo of Patricia Harley, Bob's first wife, circa 1954, Greensboro College yearbook

== Summary ==
Photo of Patricia Harley, Bob's first wife, circa 1954, Greensboro College yearbook

Son-Chu

2020-02-11T23:44:03Z

Rtucker913: /* Bumper stickers */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is the name [[Chris]] gives to his car. It was originally a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that he drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until [[November 2018]], when its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth incarnation of Son-Chu.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline."
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. The vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being totaled and Sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured) eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris' history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a user-car dealership, where it awaits its next buyer.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, marking it as the fourth version of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>:

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|200px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]

The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>.

{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[26 December 2014|go mental in the store]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing thing Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on Pokemon Go on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
*During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
*In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

*In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand despite a cracked engine block.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref> This is the only known Chandler car to have not been produced [[United States of America|domestically.]]

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

The Classic

2020-02-11T23:29:37Z

Rtucker913:

{{quote|I have just dug through the dirty half of those bags, more than ten or twenty of them. Then, in a bag of damp ones, I found the shirt.|Chris on the shirt, nonchalantly revealing Barb has hoarded twenty bags of old clothing without even bothering to dry them off.<ref name=found>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Offering The Classic shirt for $12,000 minimum]]</ref>}}

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|right|thumb|300px|Chris wearing 'The Classic' in 2007.]]
[[File:Chris The Classic public1.jpg|right|thumb|300px|Ten years later.]]

'''The Classic''' is a red and blue (seemingly Ralph Lauren brand)<ref name>[[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/April_2018_social_media_posts#CWC_cosplayer_is_hot]]</ref> [[Chris and fashion|rugby shirt]] formerly worn by [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] from at least before 20 [[December 2004]] to when he became a [[Tomgirl]]. It was initially thought to be lost in 2014 to the [[Destruction of Chris's House]], but had survived at the bottom of a soaked and grimy garbage bag full of clothing. Prompted by the [[Financhu Crisis]], Chris went searching for it in [[April 2017]], hoping to sell it to a fan, although no such sale came to pass. As of [[August 2018]], the original shirt is lost. As of October 2019, Chris owns a 'Mark 2' Classic, almost the same as the original but sporting orange and blue instead of the original red and blue.

==History==
The earliest known instance of Chris wearing the Classic is in the [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]] clip, filmed on 20 December 2004. The shirt made many more appearances between 2005 and 2009 - Chris wore it on 25 February 2007 during [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], the first video he uploaded to YouTube. It's also the default shirt for [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic-book Chris]], though the colors he draws in are lighter than the real thing.

The shirt made its last appearance of the classic Chris era on 23 [[November 2009]], when he filmed [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]. On 10 [[January 2014]], 14 Branchland Court was gutted by a fire - the shirt was thought lost by both Chris<ref>[[Autographed Photos]]</ref> and his fans until [[April 2017]], when it was found in a bag of laundry that was still damp from the water used to put the fire out.

==Offered for sale==
{{quote|Be glad I found it.|Chris<ref name=found2>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Shirt update]]</ref>}}
[[File:Classic post-fire 1.jpeg|right|200px|thumb|The Classic, after being excavated from bags of hoard, still wet from the water firefighters used to combat the fire three years prior.]]

Following the house fire and subsequent renovation, the Chandlers moved back into [[14 Branchland Court]]. Naturally, Barb insisted on bringing the hoard back into the house, even the portions ruined by the fire or the efforts to extinguish it. The laundry room became a dumping ground for "a mountain pile" of trash bags filled with water-damaged clothing.<ref name=found/>

The trash bags festered for ''three years''. In April 2017, when Chris sifted through them in his quest to find The Classic, the contents were laced with mold. Chris, being [[naive]], failed to realize the health risks.

{{quotebox|I'll probably have another cold or something; my throat felt the familiar scratchy after going through those bags; a few of them had wet dirt and wall lining in them. Dang house fire. [It's] like cat litter.<ref name=found2/>}}

After finding The Classic, and inspired by the successful sale of the [[Sonic Totem]] relic for $1,500 two weeks before, he listed the shirt on [[eBay]] for $12,000 minimum on 19 April 2017. He immediately snapped a photo of it, then posted it for the listing, not realizing that the mold growth evident in the picture would not entice sales. He later washed it and posted a new photo to eBay, replacing the original one.

[[File:Classic post-fire 2.jpeg|left|200px|thumb|The same shirt after being washed. The holes and other damages allegedly would've been fixed using the funds raised from the sale, according to Chris.]]

Later, he recorded [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]] to promote it, donning the shirt for the first time in years (having last worn it in 2009's [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]). Three days later, the auction ended at $25,100. The winning bidder did not pay.

Humorously, Chris fails to realize that $25,100 is a gross overestimate of how much money would be required to repair a piece of clothing, even those affected by water damage.

==Restoration effort==
{{quote|Beyond Help|Multiple tailors and cleaners, upon seeing the shirt, according to Chris<ref>[[May 2017 tweets#Q&A on restored shirt]]</ref>.}}

{{quote|Could any of you haters sew any better? The hole was large; I sewed as good as possible, then I reinforced the latter with the patch covers. If anything, this not only keeps it as iconic, but marks it as [[Chris and his Ego|another masterpiece from myself, making it worth more.]]|Chris, [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Repairing The Classic|29 April 2017]], on his effort to restore the shirt.}}

[[File:cwc sewing3.jpeg|thumb|A "masterpiece." Note the poorly-color matched stitching on the arm, with the white thread not fitting the faded white stripes on the shirt at all.]]

Chris began an effort to restore the shirt on 29 April 2017. The shirt had sustained large tears as a result of neglect. He asked several professional tailors to repair it; however, they turned down the job as being too difficult<ref>[[Speed Sewing Announcement]]</ref>. Undeterred, Chris set out to fix it himself.

He recorded [[Speed Sewing Announcement|90 minutes]] of him sewing up the shirt and [[May 2017 tweets|posted several before-and-after photos to Twitter]].

A commentator on Kiwi Farms noted the issues with his project<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/4-29-speed-sewing-announcment.30443/page-16#post-2236362</ref>:

*Incorrect type of needle
*Patches which are incompatible with the shirt
*Not trying to color-match the new thread with the shirt's colors
*Not taking measures to prevent frays or shrinkage
*Not applying the patching to the inside of the shirt

After "a few hours" of work, Chris declared his effort a "masterpiece" and said The Classic is "worth more" because of it<ref>[[2017 tweets#Repairing The Classic]]</ref>. At the time of that statement, he believed he had already made a sale on it for $25,100.

On 4 May, after five days of work, Chris completed the restoration<ref>[[May 2017 Facebook posts#The Classic, restored]]</ref>. He signed it using his trans-woman name, and celebrated the job by wearing it in public.

By 2018, the shirt deteriorated. Chris attended [[TooManyGames]] with the shirt in June of that year, with photographs of him wearing it at the event showing the shirt practically falling apart, and some of the stitching Chris had attempted to carry out having split or frayed in places. On 4 July, he posted to Twitter asking for Ralph Lauren's help in either reproducing or restoring his shirt<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts]]</ref>. This did not come to pass, and Chris would still regularly wear the rapidly-degrading fabric. By this point, it would be easier to just buy a new one than attempt to repair it.

==Loss==
On 10 [[August 2018]], Chris revealed in a text message to the [[Teen Troon Squad]] that The Classic was lost by [[Barb]] cleaning his room while he was away at [[BronyCon]]. Whether Barb's intention was payback for leaving her for the weekend or out of forgetfulness, Chris responded by hitting and humping a pillow effigy representing his mother in front of her<ref>[[Teen Troon Squad chats]]</ref>. He would then search for a replacement, which is first seen during the [[Dimensional Merge Announcements]] video.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:5-3 A1 classic.jpeg|"""""Restored."""""
File:Chris The Classic public1.jpg|In public.
File:Classic Oct 2017.PNG|Promoting his [[Patreon]] and [[Redbubble]] in [[October 2017]].
File:Chrisattoomanygames.jpg|Seen with Chris and a [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] standee at [[TooManyGames]], 2018
File:CWC_4th_of_July_2018.jpg|4th of July, looking like a homeless person. Note the large tear in the sleeve, as well as the rip in his skirt.
File:ClassicShirtCard.jpg|Chris' [[TSSSF]] card for the classic.
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}
{{BusinessList}}
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

PlayStation 4

2020-02-11T17:41:25Z

Rtucker913: /* PS4 games Chris owns */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}
{{Needs Updating}}

The '''PlayStation 4''' is a [[video game]] console created by [[Sony]], originally released in North America on 15 [[November 2013]]. It is the best selling console of [[Wikipedia:History of video game consoles (eighth generation)|the eighth generation of gaming]], alongside the [[HEXbox|HEXbox One]] (with the [[Nintendo|Wii U]] trailing behind in sales but never falling off the market share). At least 95.47 million consoles have been sold by [[May 2019]].<ref>https://www.vgchartz.com/analysis/platform_totals/</ref>

Despite his fanaticism for [[PlayStation 3|the system's predecessor]] (and his [[Chris and money|tendency to spend hundreds of dollars on games for it]]), for two years following its release Chris made no indication of wanting to buy the life upgrade upgrade. This was most likely due to his [[Chris and health|family's health problems]] (compounded by his [[28 October 2011|run-in with the law]]) draining him of funds - as evidenced by him [[May 2014 Facebook Posts|repeatedly begging people to give him money/buy him LEGO sets]]. He did however show contempt for its competition - [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart|getting banned from his local Walmart for defacing an Xbox One standee]] - but this was the only thing he had to say about the modern "console wars" (which have been intense enough to be dramatized in ''[[South Park]]'', among other places).

This would change in [[February 2016]], around [[Chris's birthday|his 34th birthday]]. He also purchased a Wii U some time later.

==The birthday saga==
===The outset===
On the first of the month, Chris [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#GIMME STUFF FOR MY BIRTHDAY|asked for a PS4 and PlayStation Camera on Facebook]] alongside a slew of specifications - notably, he [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Not Dizzy Enough To Beg For PS4!|would later specify]] a white ''Destiny'' bundle. Whomsoever saw fit to waste their hard-earned money on this gift would be "reimbursed" with a $500 voucher for Chris's [[Etsy]] shop - Chris naturally believing that his comics, [[medallions]], and [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are worth hundreds of dollars. In fact, a $500 voucher would probably allow the donator to buy everything in the shop and still have around $50 in now-useless funds to spare. Having already given extremely specific demands for this "gift", Chris would [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#A Beg Big Note|further elaborate]] that buying him ''anything less'' than the ''Destiny'' bundle ''and'' camera would reduce the value on the voucher.

===Sorry, but really though give me a PS4===
The twelfth would see Chris upload [[Apologies for offending people|a video]] that opens with a customarily insincere apology - though he openly states he doesn't understand why anyone would be offended - then ''reiterates his demands'' at the end of the video.

===Things go sour===
Incredibly, February 24th came and went without anyone sending him a PS4 - instead, [[weens]] sent Chris worthless gift cards and a losing lottery ticket. A day later, he would upload [[Update: 2/25/16|another video]] complaining about this. Bizarrely, Chris appeared to have been so confident that someone would send him an expensive video game console that he became somewhat depressed when they didn't.

==Chris finally gets one==
[[Image:20160305081202.jpg|thumb|Chris using PS4 applications - the first bit of evidence that he had purchased one.]]

However, despite all his whining, it transpired on 5 [[March 2016]] that he had, in fact, obtained a PS4. It was widely held that Chris had just bought it for himself, but Chris credited a "Miss Kagney Lynn Moore from Seattle, Washington" as the ludicrously magnanimous donor. Closer examination of his Facebook page and of the order details showed that, of course, Chris had just bought it himself.. The name of the fictional donor could be derived from Kagney Lynn Karter and Kevin Moore, who have appeared in [[Sex toys|porn films]] together.

==Epilogue==
Having spent hundreds of dollars on a toy, Chris began to beg incessantly for donations he did nothing to earn shortly after in [[HELP, PLEASE!!!|many videos]].

==PS4 games Chris owns==
<center> {{PSNTracker}}</center>

'''Note:''' This table only covers games Chris has earned at least one trophy in. Another table is shown below covering games that are at 0% and he has evidently not touched. A full list can be seen on his PSN profile, [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu here].

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
||''[[LEGO]] [[Wikipedia:Lego Dimensions|DIMENSIONS]]''
|78
|100%
|A "[[toys]]-to-life" game (ala ''Skylanders'' or [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]]) that is rather infamous for [[Chris and money|being much more expensive]] than its competitors.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Life Is Strange|Life is Strange]]''
|61
|100%
|
|-
|''My Name is Mayo''
|51
|100%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Ratchet & Clank (2016 video game)|Ratchet & Clank]]''
|47
|100%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Life Is Strange: Before the Storm|Life is Strange: Before the Storm]]''
|35
|100%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Order: 1886|The Order: 1886]]''
|22
|100%
|
|-
|''Level 22''
|21
|100%
|
|-
|''[[Sonic]] [[Wikipedia:Sonic Mania|Mania]]''
|18
|100%
|
|-
|''Letter Quest Remastered''
|12
|100%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Three Fourths Home|Three Fourths Home: Extended Edition]]''
|7
|100%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back|Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back]]''
|22
|87%
|
|-
|''[[Sonic Forces]]
|45
|80%
|Chris purchased three copies of this game, each for different consoles.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Crash Bandicoot (video game)|Crash Bandicoot]]''
|21
|80%
|
|-
|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] Legacy of the Duelist''
|17
|80%
|
|-
|''Back to Bed''
|13
|80%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Gone Home|Gone Home]]''
|9
|71%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back|Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back]]''
|10
|68%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Bendy and the Ink Machine|Bendy and the Ink Machine]]''
|16
|52%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Roundabout (video game)|Roundabout]]''
|4
|20%
|
|-
|''[[PaRappa the Rapper]] Remastered''
|19
|51%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Don't Die, Mr. Robot!|Don't Die, Mr. Robot!]]''
|7
|38%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Minecraft|Minecraft]]: PlayStation 4 Edition''
|38
|31%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Burnout Paradise|Burnout Paradise]] Remastered''
|25
|31%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Giana Sisters: Twisted Dreams|Giana Sisters: Twisted Dreams]] - Director's Cut''
|6
|31%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Lego Worlds|LEGO Worlds]]''
|26
|29%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Crash Bandicoot: Warped|Crash Bandicoot: Warped]]''
|10
|23%
|
|-
|''[[Little Big Planet]] [[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet 3|3]]''
|10
|21%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune|Uncharted: Drakes' Fortune]] Remastered''
|15
|20%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:PaRappa the Rapper 2|PaRappa the Rapper 2]]''
|4
|19%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Bit.Trip#The_Bit.Trip|THE BIT.TRIP]]''
|9
|18%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Freedom Planet|Freedom Planet]]''
|3
|15%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Pure Chess|Pure Chess]]''
|3
|14%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Minecraft: Story Mode|Minecraft: Story Mode]]''
|7
|13%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Disney Afternoon Collection|The Disney Afternoon Collection]]''
|2
|10%
|
|-
|''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]''
|7
|10%
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Skylanders: SuperChargers|Skylanders SuperChargers]]''
|5
|9%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:DC Universe Online|DC Universe Online]]''
|5
|8%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Destiny (video game)|Destiny]]''
|6
|7%
|Star of [[CWC's Destiny start|a "Let's Play"]] (that was [[Brutal Legend|completely silent]], thanks to Chris's cluelessness).
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Sword Art Online: Lost Song|Sword Art Online: Lost Song]]
|4
|6%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Playroom (2013 video game)|THE PLAYROOM]]''
|2
|6%
|A collection of AR minigames built into the system. Most notable for being banned from streaming after a man [[Chris and sex|stripped and groped his drunk wife]] live.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Shovel Knight|Shovel Knight]]''
|4
|5%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Tetris Ultimate|Tetris Ultimate]]''
|1
|4%
|
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:ZombiU|ZOMBI]]''
|3
|4%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Skylanders: Trap Team|Skylanders Trap Team]]''
|2
|3%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Cyberdimension Neptunia: 4 Goddesses Online|Cyberdimension Neptunia: 4 Goddesses Online]]''
|2
|2%
|-
|''[[God of War]]''
|2
|2%
|
|-
|''[[Guitar Hero]] [[Wikipedia:Guitar Hero Live|Live]]''
|2
|2%
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Mother Russia Bleeds|Mother Russia Bleeds]]
|2
|2%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Skylanders: Swap Force|Skylanders SWAP Force]]''
|2
|2%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mighty No. 9|Mighty No. 9]]''
|1
|1%
|
|-
|''[[Transformers]] [[Wikipedia:Transformers: Devastation|Devastation]]''
|1
|1%
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Payday2|PAYDAY 2: Crimewave Edition]]''
|1
|1%
|Bought and played under the influences of [[Idea Guys]].
|-
|}

===Games at 0%===
Chris has 29 games which have been purchased but without trophies or progress which can be assumed to have not been booted up.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Release Date
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted 2: Among Thieves|Uncharted 2: Among Thieves]] Remastered''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Hitman Go|Hitman GO]]: Definitive Edition''
|2016
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception|Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception]] Remastered''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Toy Soldiers: War Chest|Toy Soldiers War Chest]]''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Helldivers|HELLDIVERS]]''
|2015
|-
|''The Treasures of Montezuma 4''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:PixelJunk Shooter|PixelJunk Shooter]] Ultimate''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Swapper|The Swapper]]''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Hohokum|Hohokum]]''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Infamous Second Son|inFAMOUS Second Son]]''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Woah Dave!|Woah Dave!]]''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Retro City Rampage|Retro City Rampage]] DX''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Race the Sun (video game)|Race The Sun]]''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Grim Fandango|Grim Fandango]] Remastered''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Killzone Shadow Fall|Killzone Shadow Fall]]''
|2013
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Call of Duty: Black Ops III|Call of Duty: Black Ops III]]''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Nova-111|Nova-111]]''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Thomas Was Alone|Thomas Was Alone]]''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Terraria|Terraria]]''
|2014
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Hotline Miami|Hotline Miami]]''
|2014
|-
|''Invokers Tournament''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Knack (video game)|KNACK]]''
|2013
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Lone Survivor (video game)|Lone Survivor]]''
|2013
|-
|''Shütshimi''
|2015
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Doom (2016 video game)|DOOM]]''
|2016
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Overwatch (video game)|Overwatch: Origins Edition]]''
|2016
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Psycho-Pass: Mandatory Happiness|Psycho-Pass: Mandatory Happiness]]''
|2016
|-
|''Uncanny Valley''
|2017
|}
{{Template:Relics of Fail}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

2010s

2020-02-11T17:25:20Z

Rtucker913: /* Events of 2017 */

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|200px|In '''2010''', Chris débuted the Gay Trucker. It was also the last year we would see that hair line.]]
[[File:CWC0811.PNG|thumb|200px|Chris in '''2011'''.]]
[[File:11 10 12 facebook pic.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris in '''2012'''.]]
[[File:Haters to the left.jpg|thumb|200px|In '''2013''', Chris told da [[trolls]] where to go. (to the right?)]]
[[File:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|200px|In '''2014''', Chris was desperate for [[money]].]]
[[File:Chris may 2015.jpg|thumb|200px|Christine in '''2015''', making a [[Tomgirl|transition]].]]
[[File:Cwc1116.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris in '''2016''']]
[[File:Chris The Classic public1.jpg|thumb|200px|In '''2017''', [[The Classic]] returned]]
[[File:End games jan2018.jpg|thumb|200px|In '''2018''', Chris was a gopnik.]]
[[File:Cwc brony babe.jpg|thumb|200px|In '''2019''', Chris joined the [[Brony Babes]].]]
{{Quote|I am Tomgirl.|Chris emerged from his chrysalis a strange butterfly.}}

The '''2010s''': the final frontier (for [[Chris]]'s cholesterol, that is).

Perhaps one of the darkest decades in the CWChronology, the 2010s were notable for events such as [[Bob]]'s death, [[14 Branchland Court]] [[Destruction Of Chris's House|burning to the ground]], Chris becoming [[tomgirl|transgender]], and the further erosion of Chris’ mental health, especially at the hands of the [[Idea Guys]] throughout late [[2017]] and early [[2018]]. It also saw Chris have numerous run-ins with the [[law]]: he [[6 June 2010|attempted vehicular homicide]], was arrested for [[28 October 2011|hitting Michael Snyder with his car]], and was later arrested again for [[26 December 2014|macing a GameStop employee]]. Chris was aged between 27 and 37.

==2010==
===Events of 2010===
::''Main article: [[2010]]''
2010 brought the ''[[Asperchu]]'' feuds, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Magical Man Potion]], [[Surfshack Tito]], [[Jackie]], a vehicular attack on [[Michael Snyder]], [[JenkinsJinkies]], the [[Greene County Conspiracy]], [[Fridays After Five]], the destruction of the [[PS3]] and Chris quitting the Internet, possibly for good.
==2011==

===Events of 2011===
::''Main article: [[2011]]''

2011 brought deathly silence until the release of the [[Tomgirl Pictures]], followed by [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]], [[Calling Out]], [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s passing, the publication of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]'s image by ''Slylock Fox'', and [[28 October 2011|a mother-and-son attack on the GAMe PLACe]] resulting in felony charges for the Chandlers.

==2012==

===Events of 2012===
::''Main article: [[2012]]''

Chris kept quiet in 2012, not uploading a single video. He lost his virginity to a [[Mia Hamm|hooker]], so as not to lose it to a [[homo]]-[[niggo]] in prison, but both he and Barb got away with probation at their [[This is how the Trial went|trial]]. They later adopted [[Clover and Snoopy|two dogs]]. Chris's [[Facebook]] messages were also leaked.

==2013==

===Events of 2013===
::''Main article: [[2013]]''
In 2013, Chris [[Chris in the media#MTV's Failosophy|appeared on MTV]], whined about [[homo]] marriage, got kicked out of [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|his church]], cut ties with [[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]], pledged not to bother the [[GAMe PLACe]], [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|returned to YouTube]], found out that his high-school [[gal-pals]] were only pitying him, and made a [[Tour of Chris's House II|new house tour]].

==2014==

===Events of 2014===
::''Main article: [[2014]]''

In 2014, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|Chris's house burned to the ground]]. He and Barb became even more strapped for cash, with Chris selling his art on [[eBay]] and supposedly shoplifting from [[Best Buy]]. Chris began to identify as a [[gaybian|lesbian transwoman]], even attending a [[Impulse Gay Social Club|gay bar]] on [[Halloween]]. Chris was arrested in December for [[26 December 2014|assaulting an employee at GameStop]].

==2015==

===Events of 2015===
::''Main article: [[2015]]''

In 2015, Chris continued to transition to a [[Tomgirl]] and began to sell [[Sonichu Amiibo]] and other merchandise. [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] was continued after a five-year hiatus. Chris attended [[OmegaCon]], was found guilty for [[26 December 2014|the GameStop Assault]] and served probation as a result.

==2016==

===Events of 2016===
::''Main article: [[2016]]''

Chris spent most of the year [[Financhu Crisis|begging for money]]. He also started and ended an embargo on [[GameStop]], got through his probation without trouble, and towards the end of the year, made death threats towards [[Pmurt|President Trump]].

==2017==

===Events of 2017===
::''Main article: [[2017]]''

President [[Donald Trump]] took office on 20 January, in the midst of Chris' ongoing Financhu Crisis. Despite these obstacles, Chris overcame his [[Chris and stress|stress]] to resume work on Sonichu in earnest and develop a slightly healthier social life. He began to recognize the gravity of his financial situation and tried to improve it by pawning off his most iconic possessions and shilling for his [[Patreon]]. On the other hand, he began [[DoopieDoOver|harassing an online artist]] in an attempt to make a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, only to incite a brief but intense period of old-fashioned trolling. By the end of the year, storm clouds began to gather as [[Idea Guys|people]] started to manipulate Chris's mind.

==2018==

===Events of 2018===
::''Main article: [[2018]]''

[[Bryanfrogboy]] and the [[Idea Guys]] continued to ween, even extorting thousands of dollars out of Chris. A [[CWC Ancestry|DNA test]] disproved Bob's claims of [[Cherokian]] blood. Chris met the [[fanbase]] at [[MAGfest]]. The [[Dimensional Merge]] was indefinitely prolonged. Chris had a tougher con experience at [[TooManyGames]], where he was thrown out for touching guests inappropriately. The [[Teen Troon Squad]] began to manipulate Chris. The family acquired several new [[cats]] and were repeatedly [[Chris and the law|sued for unpaid debts]].

==2019==

===Events of 2019===
::''Main article: [[2019]]''

Chris got blocked by people he's obsessed with on Twitter and he locked down his Twitter account. the [[Dimensional Merge]] was indefinitely delayed. [[Copitz]] went ghost-hunting with Chris in DeJarnette. Chris graduated the [[Therapeutic Docket]]. He continuted to promote a card game, [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder]]. Chris's public behaviour became odder, being observed talking to himself in public, [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|grunting in court]], [[MagiChan111448 tweets|claiming to have a heart attack]] and claiming that the Notre Dame fire was caused by a [[Pokémon]]. Debt agencies continued to harry the Chandlers. [[Jacob Sockness]] bought tickets to visit Chris, only to be dissuaded. Chris established [[Cwcvilleshopping.com]].

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

Chris and stress

2020-02-11T17:22:24Z

Rtucker913: /* Hedgehog-defensive state */

{{Quality}}
{{quote|Stress hinders the emotions and physical abilities as swiftly as a bullet.|Chris, equating stress with [[Sonichu Special 4|being shot]]<ref name="IRC"/>}}
{{Quote|I Really feel like I should be reeled into my Poke Ball and stored in the PC a while.|Chris after finding out that [[Rosechu]] had a [[pickle]] all along<ref>[[December 2017 Facebook posts]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Stress.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in stressed mode.]]

'''Stress''' is the bane of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s existence.

After [[high school]], Chris soon learned he couldn't blame his shortcomings on his [[high-functioning autism]]. Thus, he began to use "stress" as an excuse. However, it's assumed that Chris is probably confusing "stress" with [[Wikipedia:Depression (mood)|depression]] or anxiety, refusing to admit that he is in fact, unhappy with his current situation. Given the intensely sheltered lifestyle his parents provided for him well into his twenties, it is highly unlikely Chris ever experienced any form of intense anxiety or pressure that would give him severe psychological and physical effects, apart from his consistent paranoia over getting [[trolls|trolled]] and, in recent years, the [[Financhu Crisis]]. He is, however, prescribed medicine for this "stress". Since Chris tends to exaggerate everything, anything that makes him feel remotely uncomfortable is classified to him as a stressor.

When under the effects of "stress", Chris typically posted videos without his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] and talked in a more meek voice. It is during these periods that Chris will opt to remove himself from the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] for about a week or so, and then come back feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and given a new resolve to finish the [[Love Quest]]. This is most likely due to his autistic regenerative abilities that make sure that [[Heart level|his heart]] never goes below 0% and into the negatives. Chris often cites stress as the reason why he isn't inspired to work on the comics; precisely why ''inspiration'' is needed to make Sonic recolors have sex with each other and kill Chris' enemies is not apparent.

In August 2013, Chris indicated through Facebook that his stress is beginning to take a toll on his health. Given his rather [[Chris and health|unhealthy]] [[Obesity|lifestyle]], it's not unlikely.

==Stressors==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Category
! Examples
|-
| '''Identity'''
|
* His "mental block" of [[autism]]
* [[Chris and his Ego|Talking to anyone about anything except himself]]
* Having his identity [[Ian Brandon Anderson|questioned]]
* Being referred to with the [[Tomgirl Saga|incorrect pronouns]]<ref>[[BronyCon#Day 2]]</ref>
* His daily struggle against becoming homosexual ''(pre-2014)''
* Anything that autism isn't an excuse for
|-
| '''''Sonichu'' comic'''
|
* Being [[Asperchu|parodied]]
* [[Jimmy Hill|Copyright issues]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu|His characters being accused of homosexuality]]
* [[ProjectSNT|His characters being redesigned by a fan artist]]
|-
| '''Online presence'''
|
* Being famous<ref name="IRC20081231">[[IRC (31 December 2008)]]</ref>
* The existence of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|webpages]] [[CWCki|outlining]] his many failures
* [[Mailbag|Criticism (constructive or otherwise)]]
* Having drawings of him finger-banging [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] confused with [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]
|-
| '''Domestic life'''
|
* [[Chores]]<ref name="IRC" />
* Back when [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was still alive, his willingness to call Chris out on his bullshit, and his rare hand-washing (but living in a [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|Superfund]] site is perfectly okay)<ref name="IRC">[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref><ref name="IRC20081231"/>
|-
| '''Outside the house'''
|
*Anything requiring him to leave the [[Chris's house|house]]
* [[Wendy's|Getting]] [[Cutco|a job]]
* Being [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from [[The GAMe PLACe|places]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|he]] [[The End Games|frequents]]
* Being [[TooManyGames|banned from conventions]]
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|Trying to get unbanned from The GAMe PLACe]]
* [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris.27s_Attitude_at_the_GAMe_PLACe|Losing trading card game matches (including to children)]]
|-
| '''Sweethearts'''
|
* [[Noviophobia|Taken women]] and the associated [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|infinitely-high boyfriend-factor]]
* [[Boyfriend-free girl|Asking girls to go out with him]]
* Being [[Friend zone|friend zoned]]
* [[Megan Schroeder|His hormones]]<ref>[[Megan E-mails#Chris continues bothering her about ED|Megan E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Blanca Weiss|Finding out his Internet girlfriend broke up with him because of the Pickle Man]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008]]</ref>
* [[PandaHalo|Finding out his Internet girlfriend died in a bushfire]]
* [[Sarah Jackson|Finding out his Internet girlfriend was killed by Optimus Prime in a tragic car accident]]
* [[BlueSpike#Julie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is a thirteen-year-old boy]]
* [[Emily|Finding out that his date was a mole working for the Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Ivy|Finding out his Internet girlfriend doesn't exist]]
* [[Kacey|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is marrying someone else]]
* [[Jackie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend will not give him china if he doesn't act like a normal person]]
|-
| '''Antagonists'''
|
* [[Clyde Cash]]
* The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* Bullies<ref name="IRC" />
* [[Trolls]]
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|faculty]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>
* Having someone [[Liquid Chris|pretend to be him]]
* Being confronted by [[Kacey| his sweetheart]]'s [[Father Call|father]]
* Being called a child<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref><ref>[[28 October 2011]]</ref>
|-
| '''Other individuals'''
|
* [[MALE|MALES]]
* [[Niggos]]
* People with [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Homos|Homosexuality]] ''(before 2014)''
|-
| '''Other'''
|
* [[Pickle]]s
* [[Chris and death|Mortality]]<ref name="IRC"/>
* [[Father Call|Doses of]] [[LadyOfTheCosmo|reality]]
* [[Sega]] changing the color of [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'s arms to blue<ref>[[Sonic Boom Protests]]</ref>
* Anything slightly inconvenient
* Anything that stress isn't an excuse for
|-
|}

==Handling stress==
* [[Mass debating]]<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#I am perverted]]</ref>
* Having a [[sweetheart]] resetting his [[biological clock]]
* The prospect of having a "[[Hanky-panky|sex time]]"
* Playing [[vidya]]
* Hiring prostitutes<ref>[[April 2012]]</ref>
* Take medication<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Chris' prescribed medication]]</ref>
* Wishing he were in another [[Dimensional Merge|dimension]]

==Things that Chris does when stressed==
[[File:Schu11Placeholder.jpg|thumb|One of the more common symptoms of stress]]
* [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Shits himself]]
* Cries
* Becomes less/more productive than usual
* Rages about his "pitiful adult life" in [[YouTube]] videos
* Rages at his [[Mailbag|mailers]]
* Sends [[death threats]]
* Abuses his [[PSEye|cameras]]
* Crashes into slumber<ref>[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly homophobic<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly [[Chris and race|racist]]<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref><ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>
* [[Stress sigh|Sighs excessively]]
* Suffers from [[Muscle bra|memory loss]]
* Draws hideous hardcore pornography of his friends and fursonas<ref>[[Mailbag 42#It's called an art style|Mailbag #42]]</ref>
* [[Alcohol|Drinks]]
* [[6 June 2010|Attempts]] [[28 October 2011|vehicular homicide]]
* Considers suicide<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

{{clear}}

===Hedgehog-defensive state===
[[File:TooManyGamesJustinphoto2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris performing the hedgehog-defensive state.]]

{{quote|I went full Hedgehog Defensive and let my quills keep others back. It Hurts}}

While being kicked out of the 2018 [[TooManyGames]] convention for making unwanted physical contact with other event attendees, stress forced Chris to create the '''hedgehog-defensive state'''<ref>[[TooManyGames#Personal space talk]]</ref>. Instead of leaving the con, he curled up into a ball on the floor and imagined he had hedgehog quills to keep the "meanies" away, eventually being escorted off of the premises by security. <ref>[[April 2019 social media posts#Hedgehog-defensive state]]</ref> He also blamed the [[trolls]] and an event coordinator for causing the stressful situation. It's implied that this is a replacement for the pepper spray he used on [[26 December 2014]].

{{clear}}

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Chris and...]]

789chan

2020-02-10T02:32:44Z

Rtucker913: Changed redirect target from /cwc/ to /cow/

#REDIRECT [[/cow/]]

Continuity in the Sonichu comics

2020-02-08T14:27:25Z

Rtucker913: /* Disappearances */

{{merge|Retroactive continuity in Sonichu}}
[[File:CWC_collage.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris's [[art]] is notoriously inconsistent. (All of these people are supposed to be [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|the same character]].)]]
Among many things, the '''continuity''' in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]] is entirely full of fail. The following is a list of continuity errors and retcons in the series:

==Every ''Sonichu'' comic ever==
* [[CADD|Countless proportion errors]].
* The layout of [[CWCville]].
* The appearance of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] in the comics, and, to a lesser extent, other characters. (See image on the right.)

==Characters==
===Disappearances===
Because the ''Sonichu'' comics lack a clear overall plotline, essentially consisting of whatever pops into Chris's autistic head, many characters disappear from the strip without explanation. Chris presumably forgets about them, and only gives them cameos in later issues after the [[fans|fanbase]] ask what happened to them.
* After [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], [[Kel]] ([[Rosechu]]'s original trainer) inexplicably disappeared from the comics. Chris later retconned in the [[CWCipedia]] that she "continued her Pok'emon Master Journey." She was mentioned in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], with minor details that so far had only appeared in the CWCipedia being referenced. She returned in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], killing [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Sean]].
* [[Sonic]] does not appear after [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] until [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], when he claims to have been away on a "princess story".
*[[Doctor Robotnik]] and [[Giovanni]] were set up initially as the main villains, but Robotnik (Ren Skysoar) vanishes after ''[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]'' and Giovanni after ''[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]''. They briefly reappear in ''[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]''.
* [[Metal Sonichu]] was sent to the [[Moon]] by Sonic in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] and is never seen nor heard from again. As with Sonic, Chris claims that Metal will return in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] or [[Sonichu 12|#12]]. Needless to say, he did not.
* [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] was trapped in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] during [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], and whilst she was mentioned afterward in a few issues, was mostly forgotten by [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] and not even mentioned in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. However, Crystal was finally saved in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] by [[Collosal Chan|Collosal Chris-Chan]], who simply enters the mirror and picks her up with very little drama or fanfare. It's possible that Chris had entirely forgotten about this particular plot thread, but was reminded of it after several letters complaining about discontinuity in the [[Mailbag]].
* [[Layla Flaaffy]] was a character made by [[Ivy]] which Chris introduced in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Despite playing a prominent role in both episodes of ''Sonichu'' #9 (being paired up with [[Punchy]] and later on helping with the defense of CWCville), she was completely absent from both ''Sonichu'' #10; however, she returns in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]. The only mention of her by Chris after ''Sonichu'' #9 was when he wrote the [[CWCipedia]] [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Punchy_Sonichu article on Punchy].
* [[Reginald Sneasel]] was a character created to serve as Chris's self insert during the events of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9]]. He completely disappeared by [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10]], likely because Chris himself returned to the comic and a self insert was no longer needed. Not even [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Angelica_Rosechu Angelica Rosechu's CWCipedia article] mentions him. He comes back, like Layla, in ''Sonichu'' #11.

===Appearances===
* [[BILLY MAYS]] suddenly appeared in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] with Chris proclaiming that he has been his bodyguard and body double (and never mayor) all this time. However, he never gives an explanation where he was during the numerous times when Chris was getting the shit beaten out of him by [[jerkop|jerkops]].
*[[Jiggliami]], [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]], [[Sailor Megtune]], [[Megagi La Skunk]], [[Ivy]] and [[Layla|Layla Flaaffy]] all appear in the comic without explanation.

==Items==

*The [[Sonichu Ball]]s are later renamed "Sonichu Ball Crystals" and after that "Chaotic Crystals".
*The [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], an immensely powerful jewel with the ability to control the growth of every living thing, is stolen by [[Blake]] in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], and later recovered by the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Despite its huge power, it never reappears in the series.

==Chronology==
*''[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]'' says that Sonichu is 16 years old and Rosechu is 15, which would be true in [[2004]] when the comic was drawn, but not in [[Sonichu chronology#1998|1998]], when Chris later declared the story took place.
*It is not certain when [[Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu]] left [[Kel]] and moved into 14 Brunchville Lane: Chris has given the date as [[Sonichu chronology#2000|November 1998 and 8 June 2000]].
*Chris claimed that he became Mayor of [[CWCville]] in [[Sonichu chronology#2000|July 2000]], but this date is after the events of ''[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]'', in which he was referred to as Mayor, and also occurs after he granted Rosechu and Sonichu a house using his mayoral powers.
*Chris has claimed that Episodes 13 and 14 occur on [[Sonichu chronology#2006|29 April 2006]], but this date is before [[Patti-Chan]] went to CWCville on [[Sonichu chronology#2006|27 June]] in Episode 12.5 (Episode 12.5 is supposed to take place before 13 and 14).
*[[Bionic]] puts [[Reldnahc]] into a coma on [[Sonichu chronology#2007|11 October 2007]], and he doesn't wake up until 20 December. But, he is somehow present at [[Slaweel Ryam]]'s meeting of villains on 2 November.
* In ''[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]'', Crystal says that she'll get President [[Barack Obama|Obama]] to remove the [[Asperpedia]], although this event takes place during [[Sonichu chronology#2008|August 2008]], three months before Obama was even elected, and five months before he took office.
* In that same issue, Chris "cures" the world of [[homosexuality]] and [[The Wallflower|asexuality]]. Near the end of the issue, he goes about making homosexuality legal in [[CWCville]], but not same-sex marriage. Also, much earlier, the vaccine to cure homosexuality is developed thanks to him donating his blood in the future, in effect creating a time paradox.
* Chris has claimed that all of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] — except for [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and [[Blake]] — came from eggs sent back in time to [[Sonichu chronology#1989|2 February 1989]], but he's also established that [[Darkbind]], [[Zelina]], [[Jamsta]], [[Lolisa]], [[Simonla]] and [[Silvana]] are too old to have been hatched on this date. [[Blazebob]], [[Chloe]] and [[Zapina]] are hatched much later for reasons unaccounted for.
*In "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" and [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Cerah is claimed to attend elementary school, even though it is set in [[Sonichu chronology#2008|December 2008]] and she was born on [[Sonichu chronology#2006|29 June 2006]], making her far too young to attend school (assuming that Electric Hedgehog Pokémon age at the same rate as humans).

==See also==
*[[Sonichu chronology|''Sonichu'' chronology]]
*[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Retroactive continuity in ''Sonichu'']]

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Comic]]

Station Square

2020-02-07T00:08:31Z

Rtucker913:

[[Image:Stationsquare.jpg|thumb|300px|right|First page of the first issue, and he's already too late.]]

'''Station Square''' is a fictional city depicted in the video game [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|''Sonic Adventure'']]. In the climax of the game, Station Square is destroyed by [[Perfect Chaos Monster|Perfect Chaos]], who is in turn defeated by [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu #0'']], a [[Pikachu]] five mies [sic] from Station Square notices Perfect Chaos attacking the city, and goes to investigate (at apparently great speed, since he travels the five miles in practically no time). There, a fateful collision with Sonic causes him to be transformed into a new Pokemon with the combined powers of both Sonic and a Pikachu. The hybrid creature assists Sonic in defeating Perfect Chaos, eventually defeating the monster. The crowd of people nearby, who had somehow survived the cataclysm that destroyed their entire city, mistake him for Super Sonic and credit Sonic with defeating Chaos, effectively retconning the ending of ''Sonic Adventure'' so that [[Chris and his Ego|his own Mary Sue character did all the work and Sonic was little more than an assistant to him]]. After the battle is over, the hybrid creature returns to the wild, naming himself "[[Sonichu]]."

In the [[Sonichu Chronicles]], Chris makes clear that this is the same fight from the end of ''Sonic Adventure''. He brings this up while paradoxically trying to explain that [[Sonichu]] is a [[Parody]] of Sonic rather than derivative work, while at the same time making clear that he is an in-universe character that complements and expands on existing Sonic canon. [[Chris and copyright|In other words, a derivative work]].

==See also:==
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]

{{CWCverse}}

[[Category:Fictional places]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

January 2020

2020-02-02T21:44:36Z

Rtucker913:

[[File:D&D dice.jpg|thumb|The only picture of CWC (or his fingers, rather) released in January 2020]]
[[File:TEG Mail 1.png|thumb|Chris sends a harassing letter, January 26]]

'''January''' was the first month of [[2020]]. Not a lot happened this month. No new videos or even photos of Chris's face were released. However, he did bitch about his banning from [[The End Games]] and gained an interest for Dungeons and Dragons.

==Highlights==
*'''1 January''' - Chris welcomes in the new decade by '''[[January 2020 social media posts#A New Year's Throwback|tweeting out]]''' the lyrics to [[I Got A Fish]].
*'''4 January''' - Chris is '''[[January 2020 social media posts#Magic Bottle|happily gifted]]''' a "healing" crystal-infused water bottle.
*'''15 January''' - With the nonpayment of the server fees and the arrest of their sysop, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] shuts down.
*'''17 January''' - Chris '''[[January 2020 social media posts#Chris demands to be unbanned from End Games to learn D&D|demands on]]''' [[Twitter]] that he be unbanned from [[The End Games]] so that he can learn to play ''Dungeons and Dragons''.
*'''23 January''' - The End Games blocks Chris on Twitter, causing him '''[[January 2020 social media posts#Blocked from End Games' Twitter|to whine]]''' about their lack of inclusiveness.
*'''26 January''' - The End Games '''[[The End Games#Demands to be unbanned|receives a piece of mail]]''' containing a drawing, apparently from Chris.
*'''29 January''' - '''[[Ben Saint#Normalisation of relations|Ben Saint]]''' returns after months of quiet to Chris's attention on Twitter; he and Chris together solicited crowdfunding for a [[conventions|convention]].
*'''30 January''' - Two creditors sue Chris for '''[[debt]]''', bringing the Chandlers' running count of debt cases received past double digits, to eleven, also proving that [[Aly Hirschberg]], a generous donor for Chris, has been wasting his money, as Hirschberg intended his donations to help Chris with his bills – exchange rates be damned!
*'''30 January''' - Chris unveils his in-progress '''[[Dungeons and Dragons]]''' character sheet.

==See also==
*[[January 2020 social media posts]]

{{timeline}}

January 2020

2020-02-02T21:43:15Z

Rtucker913:

[[File:D&D dice.jpg|thumb|The only picture of CWC (or his fingers, rather) released in January 2020]]
[[File:TEG Mail 1.png|thumb|Chris sends a harassing letter, January 26]]

'''January''' was the first month of [[2020]].

==Highlights==
*'''1 January''' - Chris welcomes in the new decade by '''[[January 2020 social media posts#A New Year's Throwback|tweeting out]]''' the lyrics to [[I Got A Fish]].
*'''4 January''' - Chris is '''[[January 2020 social media posts#Magic Bottle|happily gifted]]''' a "healing" crystal-infused water bottle.
*'''15 January''' - With the nonpayment of the server fees and the arrest of their sysop, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] shuts down.
*'''17 January''' - Chris '''[[January 2020 social media posts#Chris demands to be unbanned from End Games to learn D&D|demands on]]''' [[Twitter]] that he be unbanned from [[The End Games]] so that he can learn to play ''Dungeons and Dragons''.
*'''23 January''' - The End Games blocks Chris on Twitter, causing him '''[[January 2020 social media posts#Blocked from End Games' Twitter|to whine]]''' about their lack of inclusiveness.
*'''26 January''' - The End Games '''[[The End Games#Demands to be unbanned|receives a piece of mail]]''' containing a drawing, apparently from Chris.
*'''29 January''' - '''[[Ben Saint#Normalisation of relations|Ben Saint]]''' returns after months of quiet to Chris's attention on Twitter; he and Chris together solicited crowdfunding for a [[conventions|convention]].
*'''30 January''' - Two creditors sue Chris for '''[[debt]]''', bringing the Chandlers' running count of debt cases received past double digits, to eleven, also proving that [[Aly Hirschberg]], a generous donor for Chris, has been wasting his money, as Hirschberg intended his donations to help Chris with his bills – exchange rates be damned!
*'''30 January''' - Chris unveils his in-progress '''[[Dungeons and Dragons]]''' character sheet.

==See also==
*[[January 2020 social media posts]]

{{timeline}}

Chris and kindness

2020-02-02T18:39:08Z

Rtucker913: /* Motivations for doing good */

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|I Knew they were trolls, but they had Good Intentions, and they were genuinely Kind Individuals. I am not listening to your bull shit.| Chris showing that he prefers kindness over reason.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1203943388552318977</ref>}}
{{quote|For I am ze kind and compassionate Chrrristine Chandler! | Chris, proclaiming his kindness and [[A New, Fun Trick|his ability to roll his R's]]}}
[[File:Cwcconvnetioncard.jpeg|thumb|200px|"Show me kindness and fun: I smile for you all!"]]

Despite all of his moments of [[Chris and anger|rage]], [[Death threats|death threats]], [[lies]], and... [[Manchester High Leaks#Japan War Essay|yuck]], Chris does have a soft side, and he is not afraid to show it. As of recently, he will more often than not be motivated to act '''kind''' towards other people, even towards complete strangers. Due to his [[autism]] and upbringing making it difficult to empathize with others, these attempts are often awkward and occasionally cross the line to disrespect.

== Chris and his morality ==

[[File:Chris' Big Dilema.jpg|thumb|Chris conflicting with his morality and his desires at the same time|200px]]

{{Template:See also|A-Logging#Chris is not Hitler}}

Like his beliefs on [[Chris and religion|religion]] and [[Chris and gender|gender]], Chris's stance on morality is difficult to interpret. Chris often claims that he is a kind, good-natured, saintly person that doesn't deserve scorn. To a certain extent, he's right, but for all of the wrong reasons.

Despite what one may think about Chris, the reality is that he is relatively harmless and is somewhat capable of distinguishing right and wrong. But that is only scratching the surface, as Chris's selfishness and [[Naïve|naivete]] often turn out to be the main culprits behind him doing immoral actions, rather than true malevolence.

One infamous example of this behavior is when he foolishly drew and uploaded [[SheCameForCWC.jpg]] onto Encyclopedia Dramatica as a means to combat all of the pictures of [[duck]]s and [[pickle]]s he found on the site, as well as to [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|prove his straightness]], not thinking about how [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] might respond to being depicted in such an undignified manner in a shoddily drawn piece of porn. Megan, who was looking for just about any reason to stop talking to Chris<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post</ref>, was understandably revolted. However, what cements the fact that his naivete was partly responsible is how Chris tried to explain to Megan what happened in the picture itself, thinking that she was inexperienced with [[Chris and sex|sex]], and didn't understand what was going on, rather than the obvious fact that she was depicted in such a demeaning situation, and that Chris obviously wants to pound her.

Whoever Chris acts kindly to depends on who he would classify as [[Gal-Pals|his "friends"]] and [[Trolls|his "enemies".]] If someone gets in the way of whatever he wants to do, or he shifts the blame on someone else for his own fails, Chris will deem that someone as a troll that wants nothing more of him than to make him miserable, showing very little respect of whoever inconvenienced him. Whoever Chris doesn't classify as a troll or feels "temporarily" joined the trolls side are his friends. Typically, Chris will attempt to befriend internet celebrities and staff members of media he enjoys.

== Empathy ==

Chris has a very warped understanding of empathy. This could be attributed to his autism, as autistic people generally have difficulty empathizing with others, although Chris's case has much more to do with his upbringing.

== Motivations for doing good ==

===[[Love Quest]] and [[gal pals]]===

[[File:Doopie White Knights Chris.jpg|thumb|200px]]

While socializing with his alleged pals, Chris always takes the time to act as kind as possible to them, to the point where it becomes downright disturbing. Unsurprisingly, Chris has used Social Media as a means of continuing his [[Love Quest]] and finding the [[sweetheart]] he has desired for over a decade. Because of that, most of the people [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|Chris attempts to befriend are girls]], with and [[Boyfriend-Free Girl|without boyfriends]].

In terms of friendships on social media, whenever he feels he's up the creek without a paddle, Chris will almost always doubt that he is in any way responsible for anybody turning against him because, in his eyes, he is too kind for anyone to simply block him on Twitter or to be hated by the masses, and instead [[Chris and remorse|shifts the blame on the trolls]]. This coupled with the fact that Chris refuses to see the worst out of his friends unless he gets the hint that they denied access to their [[china]] makes it sound even more disturbing.

===Avoiding trouble===

In other instances, Chris will only act kind to people to avoid getting into trouble. Whenever he tries to apologize to anyone, it's usually for reasons such as getting his [[PSN]] account back, or in an attempt to get back into places he was banned from.

===Personal benefit===

In general, the reason for Chris's acting kindly towards others is his thinking that doing so is the best way to manipulate them into doing whatever he wants them to. This is possibly due to his misunderstanding of simple etiquette and manners.

== How Chris demonstrates kindness ==

{| class="wikitable"
|[[Chris and remorse|Apologizing]]
|As mentioned above, Chris has a very limited understanding of empathy. On the rare occasions in which Chris admits his misdeeds and apologizes for them, ulterior motives are usually, if not always, present.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_and_negotiation</ref> This is in part to his upbringing<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Borb</ref> and otherwise due to other things such as [[autism]], all of which limit his ability to understand empathy.
|-
|Using pet names
|To refer to a gal-pal in a "kind" nonsexual manner, Chris will often refer to them as either [[Darling|"darling" or "dear"]].<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/LadyOfTheCosmo</ref> However, since Chris obviously doesn't understand how creepy it is to refer to a girl he's just met on the internet as a "darling", most girls who talk to Chris online will be set off by Chris's misuse of the word.
|-
|Gift-giving
|
|-
|}

== Genuine acts of kindness ==
Chris once participated in raising funds for [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]], a charity program that works to raise awareness of childhood cancer. Although he did it in memory of his [[Bob Chandler|deceased father]], who actually passed away as a result of heart disease rather than cancer, it was still considered a positive contribution Chris made to society.

He also donated to Red Cross in the wake of Hurricane Harvey in September 2017.

== See also ==

* [[Chris and remorse]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and journalism

2020-02-02T18:35:45Z

Rtucker913: /* Chris as a journalist */ Doesn't really fit here.

{{Needs Updating}}

{{File:IdeaGuyCwc News Media.PNG|To Chris, a troll was a reliable news source|right}}
{{quote|There must be more written about Chris-chan than George Washington.|Harry Partridge}}

Throughout most of his life, Chris has been a subject of '''journalism''', reporting, and paparazzi, whether he's aware of it or not. Every aspect of his life is documented on [[the Internet]], on sites like the [[Kiwi Farms]], [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and [[CWCki|this one]]. The reason for this is largely due to his own willingness to openly admit and display his most embarrassing moments at the most inopportune times, although Chris himself is reluctant to admit this fact. As a result, Chris has received much attention from amateur journalists and forums, online or otherwise.

== Documentation on the Internet==

Believe it or not, the curiosity of Chris' life was pretty much what got the ball rolling for where Chris is today in terms of his fame on the internet. It all started when a [[Jason Kendrick Howell|curious troll]] just learned about Chris and his oddball lifestyle on [[4chan]], and therefore wanted to document it on Encyclopedia Dramatica to make fun of it. <ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Encyclopedia_Dramatica</ref> This could have been the end of it if Chris simply handled this maturely, and just simply ignored the page as a whole. However, of course, he takes a completely unexpected route, and not only gives the trolls a good laugh but even reveals a lot of new information about himself.

=== Something Awful ===

The place where the internet first properly discovered Chris. Several forums were made about him merely days after his introduction. Chris seems to have not noticed this, however.

=== 4chan ===

Chris began getting attention on 4chan only days after, and knowledge of Chris was gained even moreso here. This site ultimately led to the creation of his article on Encyclopedia Dramatica.

=== Encyclopedia Dramatica ===

The start of Chris' infamy and years of being trolled. Several times, Chris has attacked and vandalized this site, which gave us the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|ShecameforCWC]] and several more [[Honest Content|deep details]] about him.

=== CWCki ===

Chris doesn't hide his disdain for the CWCki, having [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|created]] [[User:JenkinsJinkies|several]] [[User:Christianchandler|accounts]] and complained about it rather frequently, however he largely pays no attention to it nowadays.

=== Wikipedia ===

Chris treated Wikipedia like Myspace and Facebook, turning his user page into an autobiography of his life (a violation of Wikipedia's rules). Other than getting his account terminated for this reason, he has also unknowingly journalized his entire life up to his discovery of Encyclopedia Dramatica, even if parts of it were [[List of Chris's lies|blatant lies]]. This means Chris gave the general public clues for them to be able to piece together how Chris became screwed up enough to warrant his own Encyclopedia Dramatica page, as well as the basics as to how Chris thinks life should roll to fit his standards, giving Encyclopedia Dramatica and the CWCki a lot to work with.

=== CWCipedia ===

Since Chris was busy screwing with other wikis and started ranting about how he got banned from every single one because of it, [[User: Cogsdev|Cogsdev]], being a good sport, decided to make a special wiki just for him, where Chris can document as much of his personal life as he so desires. Chris primarily used this wiki to work on the autobiography he desired to share on the internet, make rants about things that bothered him, talk about things he loves, talk about fan-made works, and make updates on some of his own projects, such as his [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] comics and his [[Little Big Planet]] levels. Interestingly enough, despite not being Cogsdev's intention, people got to learn more about Chris, as he expressed more about his life and opinions than anyone would have originally bargained for. This continued for a couple of months until the entire wiki was disabled due to massive amounts of vandalism done to its pages.

=== Kiwi Farms ===

{{Main|Kiwi Farms}}

==Interviews with Chris ==

Over the course of Chris's life, he has experienced many fascinating events, and received plenty of attention. Naturally, this piques the curiosity of others, and this has culminated in many '''interviews''' with Chris, whether through the Internet or in the flesh. As of October 2017, he will only do an interview if he is going to be [[Chris and his ego|paid for it]].

{{quotebox|Want to Interview Me? You May Now; accepting PAID Interviews. Email sonichumanager@gmail.com to set it up. Payment First and Upfront!}}

=== An Interview with the Chris-Chan ===
{{main|Christian Weston Chandler Interview}}

On the 17th of October [[2008]], Chris was granted his first official interview since his rise to internet fame through [[PSN]].

=== Chris-chan Discusses... ===
{{main|Chris-chan Discusses...}}

Chris-chan Discusses... is a series of interviews where Larry Bundy Jr., also known as Guru Larry, asks Chris questions that he usually avoids answering.

=== Arthur Spatchcock ===
{{main|CatKnight Interview}}

Roughly eight years after the PSN interview, CatKnight/MasterDisaster AKA Arthur Spatchcock interviewed Chris, posing as an interested English entrepreneur.

=== Lil E ===
{{main|BraveryJerk Interviews}}

On 8 [[September 2016]], a YouTube user by the name of [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd3_Cgy53iABR2i8s1L8Dtg Lil E] interviewed Chris at [[The End Games]]. The same individual, this time using his [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvEHyXZ-c1XpGAtG7OmsJdA BraveryJerk] account, interviewed Chris a second time at [[Cville Pride]] 2016.

=== Merryweathery ===

{{main|Internet Dream Lounge}}

On 4 [[September 2017]], Twitter user Merryweathery contacted Chris for an interview. After abandoning the first take for being too boring, he recorded a second interview on 4 October, which he found to be superior, and released it a few days later.

===Sachumo===

{{main|Sachumo}}

On 21 [[October 2017]], Sachumo the creator of the [[Documentary]], conducted an interview with Chris.

===CopperCab===

{{main|CopperCab}}

After [[Re-enactment - Gingers Have Souls|parodying Gingers Have Souls]], Coppercab decided to parody his [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] and conduct an interview with Chris on 23 [[October 2017]].

===Copitz===

{{main|Copitz}}

After visiting Chris a week prior, Copitz interviewed Chris while visiting Charlottesville on 26 [[May 2018]].

===Count Dankula===

{{main|Count Dankula}}

Famed youtuber Count Dankula interviewed Chris on 5 [[June 2018]] with questions from [[Kiwi Farms]].

===Jackson Dalton===

{{main|Jackson Dalton}}

In an effort to kickstart his YouTube channel, Jackson Dalton conducted an interview with Chris on 4 [[January 2019]] and posted it as his first video four days later.

===Pappy Van Poodle===

{{main|Pappy Van Poodle Interview}}

== Chris in the news ==

{{See also|Chris in the media}}

Besides gaining attention on social media, Chris' life story is sometimes broadcasted on public news. An infamous example of this is the news story of the [[Fire|destruction of his house]] on 10 January 2014.

== Chris as a journalist ==

These days, everyone's a journalist, and Chris is no exception.

Chris has always had a compulsion to document his own life, only talking about topics that affect him, and only using his publications to further express himself. During his trials and tribulations on [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] he took it upon himself to publish a newsletter. Funnily enough, his style is reminiscent of [[Wikipedia: Yellow journalism| Yellow Journalism]], being characterized by:

*Little regard for conventional journalistic ethics or consistency.
*[[Sonichu's News Dash#An indirect appeal to Mary|Scare headlines]] in huge print, often of [[Sonichu's News Dash#New Sonichu comics|minor news]].
*Lavish use of pictures, or imaginary drawings.
*Use of faked interviews, misleading headlines, pseudoscience, and [[Sonichu's News Dash#Chris's dating tips|a parade of false learning from so-called experts]].
*Emphasis on full-color Sunday [https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm supplements], usually with comic strips.
*[[Ego|Conflicts of interest]]: Topics that affect the author directly, a big no-no in journalism (except in opinion pieces).
*Dramatic sympathy with the "underdog" [[Sonichu's News Dash#Chris on PowerWeb|against the system]].

Chris [[Chris and his Ego|being Chris]] also incorporates elements from [[Wikipedia: Tabloid journalism| Tabloid journalism]], such as:

*[[Mary Lee Walsh|Sensational crime stories]]
*Gossip columns about [[Christian Weston Chandler|celebrities]] and [[Bionic the Hedgehog|sport stars]]
*Junk food news

After watching Sachumo's [[Documentary]] about him, Chris gave his own ideas about the production of a similar piece. To the surprise of no one he wanted to focus [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|more on the positives]], like the people whose lives have been made better by [[Trolls|interacting with him]].

== See Also ==

*[[Chris in the media]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
*[[Wikipedia]]
*[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki]]
*[[Sonichu's News Dash]]

== Sources ==

<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and his ego

2020-02-02T18:34:30Z

Rtucker913: /* Naïveté */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}
{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (King James Version)]]}}

[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]

'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of Chris's flaws. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[File:ChrisSlimeComicP2.jpg|Chris strokes his ego by having two of [[Ben Saint]]'s characters admire him.|thumb|250px]]

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of a beloved wife, children, and home).]]

==Origins==
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to [[Chris_and_remorse#Shifting_blame|shift blame for all of his troubles]] to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris and reality#In the Real World|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. But Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. His [[Wikipedia:Egocentrism|egocentrism]] has persisted well into his thirties when most children usually grow out of it around age seven. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him]].

===The enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}

Chris's parents are [[enablers]] ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a grown man in his thirties with autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-minds|high functioning]]" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling psychiatric problems, from emotional disorders to mental retardation, live far more independently than Chris does.

For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===
{{Main|Monthly Tugboat}}
{{Main|Chris and money}}
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a "[[monthly tugboat]]" as he calls it. Although intended to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[vidya]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry-picking fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel, partially because he doesn't have much else to do. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgment. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==

{{quote|I, was mistaken, but not wrong|Chris<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2017_Facebook_posts#Mistaken_about_being_linked_with_Uzume</ref>}}

[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM V, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

The essential features of a personality disorder are impairments in personality (self and interpersonal) functioning and the presence of pathological personality traits. To diagnose narcissistic personality disorder, the following criteria must be met:

A. Significant impairments in '''personality''' functioning manifest by:

1. Impairments in '''self functioning''' (a or b):

a. '''Identity''': Excessive reference to others for self-definition and self-esteem regulation; exaggerated self-appraisal may be inflated or deflated, or vacillate between extremes; emotional regulation mirrors fluctuations in self-esteem.

b. '''Self-direction''': Goal-setting is based on gaining approval from others; personal standards are unreasonably high to see oneself as exceptional, or too low based on a sense of entitlement; often unaware of own motivations.

AND

2. Impairments in '''interpersonal functioning''' (a or b):

a. '''[[Chris and death|Empathy]]''': Impaired ability to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others; excessively attuned to reactions of others, but only if perceived as relevant to self; over- or underestimate of own effect on others.

b. '''Intimacy''': Relationships largely superficial and exist to serve self-esteem regulation; mutuality constrained by little genuine interest in others‟ experiences and predominance of a need for personal gain

B. Pathological personality traits in the following domains:

1. '''Antagonism''', characterized by:

a. '''Grandiosity''': Feelings of entitlement, either overt or covert; self-centeredness; firmly holding to the belief that one is better than others; condescending toward others.

b. '''Attention seeking''': Excessive attempts to attract and be the focus of the attention of others; admiration seeking.

C. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are relatively stable across time and consistent across situations.

D. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not better understood as normative for the individual‟s developmental stage or socio-cultural environment.

E. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not solely due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma).}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. Still, he may have both, as autistic people aren't necessarily incapable of being humble. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Manifestations==
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

{{quote|I realize I am famous like a princess|Chris on Twitter in October 2017}}

{{quote|Notable resident in Ruckersville, VA alongside a NASCAR racer, and about the 29,000th most popular individual in this world, so where is the Wikipedia Article about me? ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris on Twitter in August 2018}}

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.

But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.

===Fixation on self-image===
Chris has created many avatars of himself through several mediums.

<center><gallery>
File:CWCPOGS.jpeg|As pogs.
File:Comic CWC.PNG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].
File:Chris Lego.jpg|As a Lego figure.
File:ThreePieceSetA.jpg|''Super Smash Bros.'' avatar for Christian.
File:ThreePieceSetC.jpg|''Super Smash Bros.'' avatar for Christine.
File:AmiiboSet.jpg|As [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]]. From left to right, Christian, Chris-chan Sonichu, Christine. Chris sold these through [[Etsy]].
File:Lego Christines.png|Another Lego figure of his 2015 [[Tomgirl]] self.
File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|[[Christine Doll]], pictured on left.
File:Chris skylanders avatar.jpg|''Skylanders'' avatar.
File:Skylanders swag.png|A shirt, card and 3D figure of his ''Skylanders'' avatar, costing him $90 from the company.
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg|As a Transformer.
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg ‎|As a ''[[My Little Pony|MLP]]'' character.
File:Christine Night Weston Star Chandler.jpg|It's just getting ridiculous.
File:Chris, Night Star Equestria Girls Mini dolls3.jpg|Christine Doll 2.0, next to Night Star, both blatant self-inserts.
File:ChrisFunkos.jpg|As Funkos.
File:Chris's ego, TSSSF card.jpg|As a [[TSSSF]] card featuring many of his self-inserts.
</gallery></center>

===Persecution complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, walking through the shadow of the valley of death.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]-violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}

In a [[100 2178|May 8 video]], Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life -- from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] to becoming the social outcast that we all know and tolerate -- thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===
{{Main|Naïve}}

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates honesty with [[Honest Content|divulging every last detail about his life]]. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening his identity. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would've told if we'd end up seeing Chris [[cosplay]]ing or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. Unfortunately, though, it appears to not have happened. It's pretty obvious that Chris had only done this because he believed that he would score with Jackie sooner or later.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===
[[File:Mother's day 2018 2.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}

Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call, it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "a parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.

===Materialism===
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents, especially Barb.

===Tender misanthropy===
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that,to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats homos, seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also support this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===
{{Main|Chris and the Internet}}
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's post contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards in amplexus, thumbnails of tribadism, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a china-shaped lemon--his description for the picture ''bragged'' about how [[JERKS]] would be offended by it.

===Paranoia===

[[File:BKYA_Quite_Possibly_A_Troll.png|thumb|right|Quite possibly a troll.]]

One of the worst things that comes out of Chris's ego is his bloated sense of paranoia. As mentioned above, Chris has taken to withholding certain information from trolls like an animal being shocked by a shock collar. However, this line of thinking has pushed Chris into believing that the entire world is out to get him. In the early days, it was simple - Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh were conspiring to stop him from succeeding in his Love Quest. However, after the incident with [[The Wallflower]] and the realization that there are entire webpages devoted to him, it's caused him to see things in a bigger, yet disturbing picture.

As such, Chris has decided to become a recluse, refusing to make friends with anyone unless he knew him in the real world. However, this is a double-edged sword as Chris refuses to interact with anyone in the real world as well. In the real world, if someone spotted Chris and knew him by name, even if they had heard of him from whatever remaining place is left for him to go to, he panics and runs, fearing that the person is actually a troll seeking to spread more information about him across the Internet. As well, if someone wanted to contact Chris through other means, even if that person had no idea who Chris was or what Sonichu was or anything that the trolls had done, Chris will shut them out because he doesn't know who they are and thus, has relegated them to the title of "troll".

A perfect example of this was revealed in a series of Facebook screenshots. While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted him, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.]]

===Surrendering Information===
{{main|Chris and journalism}}

If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. His enthusiastic revelation of his own [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontinence]] is the shining example of this.

Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris's experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.

In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post in particular revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''

The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brush fire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.

===Fishing for sympathy===
{{quote|I... am so... smart! And yet I still have to- still learn everyth- I still n- have so much to learn.<ref>[[CLog 08142017 - More Positive Content]]</ref>}}

In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the Father Call, where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter (note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.) In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his Facebook entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler, and his friend, Anna McLerran is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his [[autism|being autistic]], has poisoned Chris's mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

The habit of wanting sympathy is so ingrained in Chris that he instinctively hedges when he makes a positive statement about himself. An example is from a video in which he said, "I am so smart," and immediately followed by downplaying it and saying he still had much to learn.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the white knights. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{Clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and health

2020-02-02T07:11:31Z

Rtucker913: /* Exercise */

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|Eat less [[/cow/|cow]] meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and [[Fanta|Fruit]] are a must; [[A Hike|Walking]] or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>[[Mailbag 2#The Guitar Hero workout|Mailbag 2]]</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|A rather optimistic depiction of Chris in later life.]]
[[File:Fetusbabe's cwc cosplay.jpg|thumb|How Chris views himself after becoming a Tomgirl.]]

Chris, as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine can plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], [[Power|lack of exercise]], [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|poor nutrition]], [[ShowerClean|refusal to bathe]], and [[Tour of Chris's House|the grave uncleanliness]] of [[Rental House|his]] [[14 Branchland Court|surroundings]], he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life-threatening medical problems such as cancer, type 2 diabetes, heart failure, [[Wikipedia:Atherosclerosis|atherosclerosis]], and possibly a premature [[Chris and death|death]].

==Diet and nutrition==
{{main|Obesity}}

[[File:Sonic rainboom $500 1.png|thumb|left|200px|Chris visited McDonald's 10 times in 13 days. It's not even the only fast-food place on the list.]]
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily. Occasionally, he mixes them with [[Navy|a special ingredient]].]]
[[File:Hypnosis for fatter ass.png|thumb|200px|Chris wants to use subliminal hypnosis to make his belly slimmer but his ass fatter.]]
[[File:ChrisMadeANaco.jpg|thumb|A soft shell taco topped with tortilla chips. Straight out of Kim Possible.]]

To put it bluntly, Chris is a fatty, yet he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.

Chris is a known fast food lover, eating at either [[McDonald's]], [[Burger King]] or some other fast food restaurant at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to 4 times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring calorific intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. The frequency of his fast food trips was confirmed in 2015 when a [[Kiwi Farms]] user sent him $500 to see what he would do with it.

Chris claims that he cooks for himself 4 or 5 days a week,<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> making his cooking a major source of his nutrition. He has said that he took Home Ec. classes in school and that he owns cookbooks.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> However, when Jackie asked him to cook spaghetti in a YouTube video (an incredibly basic dish, mind you), he dodged responsibility by claiming that [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] had blocked the kitchen up with junk, so he instead mimed the act and microwaved some canned spaghetti and meatballs.<ref>[[SpaghettiRoutine]]</ref> It can be deduced from this that Chris can't or doesn't cook and simply buys microwaveable meals every time he claims to be eating at home.

Many, many times, Chris has been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water and focuses a lot more on [[CWC Cola|carbonated]] [[My Coke Rewards|drinks]] and energy drinks (which have been proven to [[Chris and anger|increase erratic behavior]]<ref>[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4772143/|Energy Drinks and Youth Self-Reported Hyperactivity/Inattention Symptoms]</ref>). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:

* '''Breakfast:''' Often nothing because he usually [[Biological clock|sleeps from 6 a.m. to noon]], but when he doesn't do that, he travels to McDonald's or another fast food restaurant with a breakfast menu.
* '''Lunch:''' Something quick at home or fast food.
* '''Dinner:''' Dine out at a fast food place with family, or have a poorly-cooked microwave meal.

[[File:Fat chris.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris showing off his gut in [[October 2017]], as an attempt to make [[Jessica Quinn]] regret breaking up with him.]]

In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|ramming stuff in his rectum]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>[[Wikipedia:Fecal_incontinence#Constipation|Fecal incontinence on Wikipedia]]</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no fruit or vegetables is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.

According to Chris, he eats more vegetables than any other food group.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref> The veracity of this statement is dubious, given what is known about Chris's medical history and health in general (as well as his tendency to lie).

During the [[Father Call]], Chris told [[Kacey]]'s father that he was prescribed [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]] for his high cholesterol. He claimed he stopped taking the drug in fall 2009, but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[List of Chris's lies|lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the call) is uncertain.

In 2016, he began listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos under the false believe that they would improve his health. He liked videos such as "Lose Weight Super Fast!", "Eliminate Armpit Odor Permanently Fast!", "Lower Your Blood Pressure Fast! Hypertension Treatment", and "[[Fart Song|Produce Odorless Farts Fast!]]".

In 2017, Chris had a brief online relationship with [[Jessica Quinn]], who has a fat fetish and influenced Chris with it. The Sonichu comic features an obese Rosechu in [[Sonichu 12|issue 12]]. After their breakup, Chris consumed a large bowl of ice cream, then took a side photo of his gut, saying, "THIS!!! Right Here was ALLLLL HERS!!!!!!"<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_Facebook_posts#Quinn.27s_missing_out</ref>

In 2019, Chris showed us his idea of a "salad", mostly made with unhealthy ingredients like bacon bits and croutons.<ref>[[August_2019_social_media_posts#Magi-Chan_eats_a_.22salad.22]]</ref>

===Places where Chris likes to eat===
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Golden Corral]] (has closed its doors in Charlottesville)
* [[Chick-fil-A]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]
* [[Burger King]]

{{clear}}

==Exercise==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is Strong and [[Power]]ful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

[[File:Cwcstrongman.JPG|thumb|[[I AM STRONG]]!]]

Chris has not had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[vidya]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight has left his skin a frightening pallor that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room, while making videos. Also, most fat people have strong, stocky legs, due to carrying around all that weight, but since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of fat, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> Needless to say, Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa the Rapper'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors. Despite this, in [[WelcometoBollywood]] he is capable of dancing in place for over 7 minutes. Whether or not he did this with the magic of jump cuts remains to be seen.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to flexing and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting boxes of Minute Maid lemonade and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could've defeated both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should've it to came to blows, and as such had challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is. He's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWC Fighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to [[I Got A Fish|get his wish]] and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog 5 miles (8 kilometers) a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take 6 breaks to catch his breath, whereas a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.

Chris's lack of muscle tone may stem from hypotonia (lack of muscle tone), which can occur in people on the [[autism]] spectrum,<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypotonia</ref> although it is clear that his poor lifestyle has only exacerbated this.

===Anytime Fitness===
[[File:Chris at Anytime Fitness.jpg|thumb|left|200px|A fan spotted him at the gym and snapped his photo.]]

It wouldn't be until early [[2018]] that Chris would officially start some form of exercise regime, specifically taking frequent workouts at Anytime Fitness. He uploaded [[One-Hundred!]], a video of him working out with actual dumbbells of 20 pounds each. He followed up by taking a selfie at an Anytime gym of him on a treadmill "speed walking 4 mph for two hours".<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/April_2018_social_media_posts#Exercising_on_a_treadmill</ref>

A couple of weeks after the treadmill update, Chris was cocky enough about his new lifestyle change to use a put-down of telling other people they could stand to go to the gym to lose weight.<ref>[[May 2018 social media posts#Mad at Facebook friends]]</ref>

{{quotebox|You are now Blocked. Before continuing to insult me whenever possible you should consider Going to the Gym Yourself, as I feel YOU could stand to Lose Some Weight!}}

On 7 May, Chris lamented the fact that [[weens]] had been calling up the gym to harass management about him:

{{quotebox|You Jerks and Trolls ruin EVERYTHING! I CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE GYM WITHOUT YOU HARASSING THE GYM THAT I GO TO!<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/993696407369408513</ref>}}

Later, [[Emily]] shared information that Chris had been banned:

{{quoteboxyellow|Chris was legitimately getting complaints from fellow gym goers regarding being [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|gassy]] and [[Fangs|burping]] a whole lot. So he already had a strike against him for that, then couple that with [[Weens|people]] calling them inevitably got him banned.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/5-7-chris-rejects-group-of-twitter-orbiters.42802/page-5#post-3333710</ref>}}

In the [[Copitz]] interview, Chris claimed that he had only been banned from the [[Ruckersville]] location, and was still regularly going to another undisclosed location in the [[Charlottesville]] area.

===Walking for exercise===
{{quote|Yes, the nature today is beautiful, and it was great temperature for a four-plus mile walk up the Monticello Trail. 😊 ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1052243316274802691</ref>}}

The exercise habit from Anytime Fitness stuck with Chris, as he continued to go on walks, as seen in [[Walking to the post office]] and him mentioning that he goes on nature walks with his support group.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1043912418198532096</ref> In December 2018, he purchased a [[treadmill]], and filmed himself using it. For the first time in a long time, it would've seemed that Chris had started to pay at least some attention to one facet of his health. However, only a few months later, it appears that he has left his treadmill to rust.

===#BronyBabes===
{{main|Brony Babes}}

Chris began [[2019]] by participating in the #BronyBabes challenge on Twitter with the goal of losing weight. He quickly abandoned it, though, after a barrage of blocks from fellow participants and voice actors for [[My Little Pony]].

{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}

[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|"Did you bathe?" "No"]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris [[Mass debating|marinates in his own filth]].]]

As quoted above, Chris claims to bathe on a daily basis. However, his propensity to lie and reports from people who have interacted with him suggest otherwise. According to [[Emily]], he reeked of "rotten watermelons"; [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said "body odor masked with gallons of Axe". In fact, it might be that Chris regards [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower.<ref>In an [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_10 ad] Chris made for ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'' [[Rosechu]] tells [[Sonichu]] that he smells good, and asks him if he bathed, like it's some kind of event. Sonichu replies that he used Axe instead, suggesting that Chris believes that using aerosol body spray is an acceptable substitute for a shower or bath.</ref> Rosechu seems to confirm this belief, as upon being told of the Axe usage she makes an awful attempt at suggestive wordplay, suggesting both that using Axe makes Sonichu clean enough for sex and that cheap deodorant has an aphrodisiac effect on Rosechu.

It would appear that Chris compounds this hygiene problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for several days in a row.<ref>A particularly good example is the series of videos starting with [[12 January 2010]] and ending with [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]. The videos in question were shot between 12-15 [[January 2010]], and in all of them Chris wears the same shirt.</ref> It may be that Chris just gets into "nice" clothing to make his videos and as such doesn't get them dirty, allowing for him to use the same ones repeatedly, although this hygienic habit would be at odds with everything else he does.

The condition of his epidermal system is so poor that it's visibly noticeable, even in his [[Chris and cinematography|low quality videos]]. The texture of grease that is probably permanently adhered to his skin creates a disgusting sheen that reflects a significant amount of light. The same goes for his [[hair]], which is in such poor condition that when he allowed it to grow for the [[Tomgirl Pictures]], many strands were clumped together in greasy, sticky locks, looking akin to the long beard of a homeless man. And even when washed, it looks exactly as greasy and unkempt as it did before, as seen in the [[HairDifference]] videos. This neglect will only make his hair fall out even faster than it already is.

This lack of cleanliness, combined with the state of his [[Chris's Room|room]] where he spends almost all his time, means that Chris and his surroundings must smell absolutely ''disgusting''. Chris evidently simply tolerates the horrible odors, perhaps not noticing them anymore. It may be that he has an abnormally weak or insensitive sense of smell or has gone nose-blind; few other things would allow for such living conditions.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[The GAMe PLACe]] (doubtlessly offending his victorious opponents) and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he kept a bottle on hand at all times. Additionally, Mimms and Lucas said in their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] that Chris didn't have any noticeable BO during his time at the GAMe PLACe, suggesting that his odor problems would only worsen from that time onward. [[BlueSpike]] also mentions Chris's usage of hand sanitizer throughout [[Julie Reveals Herself]].

{{clear}}

==Living conditions==

''Main article: [[14 Branchland Court]], [[Rental House]]''

[[File:Ebay violin photo - 22 Jun 2014 - 1.jpg|thumb|Only half a year in and already an inhuman cesspool; quite the accomplishment.]]

Simply put, Chris has spent many years growing acclimated to living in conditions of abject filth and untidiness. The photographs and videos of 14 Branchland Court that he has so unwisely shared with the world showcased to us his filthy bathtub, as well as what appeared to be overflowing bins that looked more like mounds of trash, a kitchen sink overflowing with unwashed plates and cutlery, and even an instance of Chris [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]]. Trolls also managed to [[Rocky Shoemaker call|extract]] from [[Rocky Shoemaker]] that the house was suffering some sort of infestation, which led to [[Bob]] being quarantined after being brought to hospital, and Chris being confined to his room to avoid being bitten. When Chris's last video of the house emerged in the months before the [[Destruction of Chris's House|fire]], it was revealed that the problem had only gotten worse since Bob's passing, with whole rooms literally rendered inaccessible, and some filled almost to the ceiling with items [[Barb]] had hoarded, and with various other rooms reduced to crevices carved into Barb's mountains of junk.

Even after the fire, Chris and Barb have seemingly not amended their habits, as far as housekeeping goes. Photographs of the rental house revealed a steadily growing number of [[Lego]] boxes strewn around, as well as something much more alarming; when Chris was taking photographs of his merchandise for [[eBay]], he inadvertently photographed rat feces on the carpet as well. When [[Trolls|concerned customers]] pointed this out Chris [[Chris and reality|flatly denied it]], even though [[Honor roll|he had given them photographic proof to the contrary]]. Moreover, after [[Catherine]] visited in [[August 2014]], she recalled seeing junk "piled up to the ceiling" and the dogs not being housebroken and allowed to urinate and defecate in piles of newspaper on the floor. While Chris and Barb returned to the renovated 14 Branchland Court in [[January 2015]], one can only imagine the reaction of the landlord to the state in which they left the house, which, as of [[April 2015]], was still vacant, probably due to the mess they made.

==Vision==
As evidenced by his oversized, [[Pedo-Glasses|aviator-like glasses]], Chris has a vision problem. Judging by pictures of Chris in his youth, it appears that he began wearing glasses around the time he entered high school. The extent of his eyesight problems is anybody's guess. His glasses are often fogged and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty]], thus simultaneously improving and worsening his sight along different feature dimensions. Chris often takes them off when things are [[Stress|"getting serious"]], but keeps them on to [[Chris and English|read]]. This is evident in the video in which he [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_February_10th,_2009|reads a letter from Nintendo]], and in the [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE|"FUTURE MESSAGE"]] video.

One of Chris' relatives, Dr. David Alan Chandler, happens to be an eye doctor whom Chris has seen in the past. The last time Chris was known to have seen him for an appointment was 6 January 2004.

Chris's driver's license has a restrictive condition checked, which commonly means that the driver must wear glasses in order to legally drive. Whether his vision contributed to the [[Son-Chu#Car_trouble|numerous vehicular incidents]] he has been involved in has yet to be seen. However, it is a good bet that Chris should be wearing glasses while driving, for the sake of those sharing the road with him.

In his [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE]] video, Chris's left eye is drooping noticeably, which may imply either an early sign of a stroke or substance abuse. Both of these are plausible due to his [[obesity]] and poor nutrition for the former, and his abuse of [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.|a black-market drug for the latter]].

==Dental health==
{{Main|Fangs}}
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|250px|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Talk about [[honest content]]!]]

Chris's fondness for bearing his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, [[Chris and money|expensive]] dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell (partly due to Chris's [[Chris and cinematography|awful camerawork]]), in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is likely the result of large consumption of [[Fanta|carbonated drinks]], poor dental hygiene, and his refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]]. He seems to be unwilling to brush his teeth, or even at least chew some [[Brand loyalty|Orbit gum]].
{{clear}}

==Cardiovascular health==
[[File:Soysauce on fries.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris thinks this will help him grow his [[muscle bra|breasts]]. To be fair, [[obesity|he's not wrong]].]]

It is known that Chris's father Bob Chandler had a long history of heart problems. Knowing this, Chris should have realized he was at a far higher chance of inheriting cardiac disorders and related risk factors. Thanks to his poor decisions regarding his own health, he has made an already bad situation worse.

In August 2013, Chris indicated that the [[Chris and stress|stress]] he's endured has begun to affect his health, citing a symptom of high blood pressure. In 2016, he implied that he has hypertension;<ref>[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis#Likes]]</ref> this was later confirmed in August 2017, when he stated that he takes prescription medicine for it.<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Chris' prescribed medication]]</ref>

In September 2017, Chris discussed his new method for growing larger breasts, which involves flavoring his food with soy sauce. As an example, he posted a picture of [[McDonald's]] fries doused in soy sauce.<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris is fat and stupid]]</ref> It is evident that he has conflated soy-based foods with soy sauce, thinking the latter would be a good way to boost estrogen levels. In reality, the phytoestrogens found in soy products do not bind to the body's estradiol receptors, and thus will have no effect on his manboobs. Conversely, soy sauce is loaded with sodium, and said sodium is actually making him fatter due to weight gain and fluid retention, as well as inflicting further damage to his heart, which is already straining under the effects of hypertension. Although drinking water does help offset the effects of sodium-laden foods, Chris is too busy slurping on Coca-Cola to ever consider adding that to his daily food regime.

In [[January 2019]], Chris uploaded the results of a blood sugar and blood pressure screening. Chris' blood pressure is shown to be 121 over 84, classified as ''pre-high blood pressure''.<ref>http://www.bloodpressureuk.org/BloodPressureandyou/Thebasics/Bloodpressurechart</ref> His blood glucose is 63 mg/dL and his total cholesterol is 140, both of which are surprisingly healthy levels considering his lifestyle.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1084128581360513025</ref>

In [[June 2019]], Chris, via [[MagiChan111448|his sockpuppet account]], claimed to have suffered a heart attack, and that he went to the emergency room.<ref>[[MagiChan111448 tweets#Heart attack]]</ref>. Given how his father had passed away from congestive heart failure, it would be wise for Chris to change his lifestyle lest he suffer the same fate or worse.

==Excretory health==
Chris has had a long history of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontinence]]. One factor likely contributing to this is his diet. His continued [[Julie Reveals Herself|abuse]] of his anus and rectum has not helped.

He also has a history of UTIs (urinary tract infections). Women have a higher risk of UTIs than men, however, Chris's hygiene issues have lead to him getting UTIs. During [[February 2011]], he complained about his UTI:

{{quote|The past few days, I have been enduring the pains of a bladder/urinary infection. I saw my doctor, and he prescribed some antibotics for me. It was Thursday night when it started; I felt burning pains at my pee-hole; I only got about less than four hours of sleep at first. The pains kept me awake. Then I awoke at 3AM, and after one set of short excretions (#1) sitting on the john, I found a bit of blood in the water.}}

...also mentioning that his [[mother]] has experience with UTIs.<ref>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3#UTI]]</ref>

Another "spot of UTI" happened in [[February 2016]],<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Life problems]]</ref> and then again in [[December 2019]].<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1203352143270481925</ref>

In July 2017, Chris passed his first [[July 2017 tweets#Kidney_stone|kidney stone]]. Obesity and a high intake of sodium are known risk factors,<ref>https://www.urologyhealth.org/urologic-conditions/kidney-stones/causes</ref> and seeing as how both of these apply to Chris, he can expect to see more [[Wikipedia:Calculus (medicine)|calculi]] in the future unless he changes his ways.

As mentioned in the previous section, Chris has revealed that he is now putting soy sauce on everything that is not sweet. In addition to worsening his renal health, when combined with the laxative effects of his intake of twelve prunes a day (part of the same breast growth formula), this is only likely to result in a higher frequency of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].

{{clear}}

==Mental health==
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of the word.]]

[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto), to schizophrenia (signs include his disorganized speech and writing, loss of contact with [[Chris and reality|reality]], and paranoid ideas about being the victim of persecution or "conspiracies" – such as his delusional belief that [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder]] were somehow responsible for him getting banned from [[Walmart]]).

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him so frustrating to watch – he is incapable of advancing mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics. For well over a decade, he has been led on by various trolls pretending to be [[Sweetheart|young white women]] [[Chris and reality|who are interested in a relationship with him]], and yet he continually falls for it. It is Chris's refusal to listen or learn that ensures that he will continue to live in [[Naive|ignorance]], isolation and misery, and until he decides to change, it always will, irrespective of whether his trolls stay interested in him.

It was once thought possible that Chris didn't feel like his life had truly begun, that he was still in the "pre-adult" years – because he remained a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] into his early 30s, and judging by his [[Autism|oversimplified, black-and-white view of the world]] [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|tainted]] [[Video games|by]] [[Chris and reality|fiction]] [[Chris and television|and]] [[Chris and brand loyalty|media messages]], [[women's rights|treatment of women]] and [[Chris and sex|stunted understanding of sexual relationships]], because he saw sex not as a biological or recreational function, or an expression of love, but rather as a rite of passage, of sorts, and he therefore believed that he wasn't able to truly be an adult until he had sex. Chris later would [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity for real]], albeit to a hooker; as of yet, he has made few to no changes that will tangibly improve his life. In fact, he has been plunging himself and his mother even further into debt to buy toys, of all things, as well as a new car. Needless to say, no one expects Chris and Barb to be able to afford to keep the car for long.

Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internet), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism or the trolls themselves for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[sex toys|dildo]] or his [[PSEye|camera]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always [[Barbara Chandler#Pampering of Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. This might simply be [[Barbara]] telling her son what all mothers tell their kids.
* He has an [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|inability to remember faces]]. For example, during the [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[Manchester High School|high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24 ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Some people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However...]]

In the July 2012 [[This is how the Trial went|arraignment]] for his and Barbara's actions at the GAMe PLACe [[28_October_2011|the previous fall]], Chris agreed to a plea bargain, avoiding felony charges and jail time in exchange for, among other things, "mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation," which meant that Chris was forced to undergo legitimate psychiatric treatment (as opposed to simply seeing [[Rocky_Shoemaker|an un-certified pastoral "counselor"]]), or risk being imprisoned. Given that most, if not all of the problems described above persist in some form or another to this day, it seems that Chris reacted to psychiatric treatment in much the same way he reacted to the education system, as it seems that, whatever his psychiatrist said, he took none of it in, probably taking out his [[Ego|anger at being forced to obey the law]] on the psychiatrist by simply refusing to co-operate.

Chris began listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos on YouTube in 2016. On 29 June, he uploaded [[Announcement 06292016|Announcement 06292016-2]], in which he claimed that the music cured his autism:

{{quotebox|Hey [[fans]], I forgot one thing to mention. I have- I've actually been on a- subliminal project, as a lot of you- or some of you- might have been... aware of, through my history or whatever... That I try to keep private amongst my YouTube settings.

But I have been enjoying for the past 3 months the "Get Rid of Autism" subliminal. [[Naive|The one that actually works]] in three months so less than [''stutters''] three times per day. 36 times.

I have been doin' that I've actually found myself more mentally capable. I don't- I do not blank out as much, I feel a little bit [[Slow-in-the-minds|faster]] in mental processing... Aaand I feel a whole lot better so with that [''puts out hands''] I'm essentially [[Autism#Autism cured?|cured of autism]]. Oh and also I actually have been able to socialize better out in public, so that's another good deal right there.

I'm gonna put the link underneath this video... And those of y'all with autism... Try for yourself. Three- play it three times, per day... for three months. [''Points to head''] It worked for me. [''Thumbs up'']}}

However, in a November Facebook post, he was back to referring to himself as a "high-functioning autistic person."<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence]]</ref>

Chris mentioned in August 2017 that he takes Valium, a drug used to treat [[stress|anxiety and nervousness]].<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2017_tweets#On_wearing_the_unicorn_cosplay_to_church</ref>

{{quote|I took a rest and some valium after I got back home. I feel some recovered, but feel some mild headache now.|Chris, on taking the drug after feeling stress from being told not to wear his [[unicorn cosplay]] at church.}}

==Sexual health==
Bent at a horrifying 45° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease Peyronie's disease] or the result of engaging in dangerous prone masturbation), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, [[Video games|more]] [[Toys|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayers']]) money.

In correspondence with [[Jackie]], Chris revealed he was checked for STDs in early [[2010]].<ref>[[Jackie e-mails]]</ref> He didn't have any; [[Virgin with rage|you can probably guess why]].

==Gender transitioning==
{{see also|Transgender}}
===Hormone treatment===
[[File:Like budderin bread - credit to Buck Mullet.gif|thumb|Chris believes this is an appropriate form of hormone therapy.]]
Normally, transgender people plan out their gender transitions with doctors to ensure safety throughout the process, especially if they are taking hormones (which can cause health issues unless strictly monitored according to the patient's health profile).

Unfortunately, Chris has done the opposite. In 2015, he acquired '''Oestrogel''', a hormone replacement therapy cream meant for [[Barbara Chandler|post-menopausal women]]. It is meant to be prescription-only, but Chris got around the requirement to see a doctor by ordering it through Offshore Pharmacy.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning</ref> Oestrogel has health risks, such as fluid retention, weight changes, rise in blood pressure (disastrous for an [[Obesity|obese]] person like Chris) and blood clots,<ref name=healthrisks>[http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-89430/estrogel-transdermal/details/list-sideeffects Common and Rare Side Effects for Estrogel transdermal]. WebMD</ref> and that is when it is applied properly via a small dosage on the arm once per day. He even managed to fail at following the directions on the package, as shown in [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.]], in which he slathers the cream onto his stomach "like buttering bread".

[[Kim Wilson]] revealed that he was taking the hormones in May 2015,<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref> and Chris mentioned the drug again as late as August 2016.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning</ref> Throughout 2015-2016, he repeatedly complained, via Facebook posts, of feeling dizzy and ill, but has failed to connect the dots and see that taking over-dosages of a black-market drug without a physician's approval could be a reason for it.

In addition to Oestrogel, Chris has been taking supplements such as vitamins. He purchased a jar of Solaray Female Hormone Blend Vitamins in August 2016,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/8-10-chris-bought-female-hormone-vitamins.23257/</ref> which is meant to ease menopausal symptoms. [[Arthur Spatchcock]] also learned that, around [[May 2016]], Chris was fond of eating Fenugreek seeds because he believed it would increase his estrogen levels (being unaware that it would have no effect on him, since he is not on estrogen).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.661/page-562#post-1475700</ref>

At some point in fall 2016, he finally went to a medical professional and was prescribed proper HRT.<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris insists he's on HRT]]</ref>

===Un-clit===
One day in September 2014, Chris decided to get [[Un-clit|a piercing on his perineum]]. Piercings require constant disinfection while they heal, anywhere on the body, even for very clean people, and so many trolls were concerned that considering Chris's general filthiness and the fact that the location of the piercing would receive very little air, there was a serious risk of infection. In December, he shared another picture of this piercing which showed that, while it wasn't infected, the piercing had begun to reject (''tearing the skin'' in the process). Making lemonade out of lemons, Chris (now in the throes of his transwoman fantasy) noted with pride the tear's semblance to a [[China|vagina]] and actually got it re-pierced, without giving the original wound any longer than about a week to heal. Fortunately, Chris gave up on it after it became clear that the piercing was going to be more hassle than it was worth, and removed it for good before any serious harm was done.

===Self-inflicted taint wound===
{{main|Self-inflicted taint wound}}

In [[July 2016]], Chris posted about a wound on his taint, announcing that he had gotten it as a result of [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] and would be growing new labia as a result. However, as the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] later discovered, Chris actually went ahead and '''sliced himself open with a knife in order to free the vagina he thought was growing within him'''.

{{quoteboxgreen|So, Chris was feeling up his junk, and he felt something "growing in". He believed his labia were growing in. He knew, logically, that he probably should let it... ahem... "erupt" on its own, because cutting himself open is crazy and he would probably get in trouble. But one night he was drunk and was sad that someone pointed out he didn't have an actual vagina, so he thought he'd help it along.

In the morning he was very embarrassed and sheepish about it. Chris is fucking lucky he posted about it online, and got pestered into getting help by weens, because if he hadn't, he'd probably end up in the hospital, fighting off a potentially lethal infection.

So technically speaking, in Chris logic, it was indeed a wound, but his vagina was going to come out and the wound would heal and everything would be alright.

It's kind of like he was Brundlewoman and he was pulling off his old ear and face and shit, and the beautiful Pam Anderson Christine would be underneath.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-12-21-chris-reminiscences-about-moving-back-into-14bc-after-the-fire.26774/page-7#post-1962817</ref>}}

===Rejected by a blood bank===
In January 2017, Chris complained on Facebook that he had been turned away from a blood drive for being transgender.<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref> He stated that the given reason was "the FDA saw to not accept blood from Transgender people, due to the varying levels of testosterone/estrogen balances in our blood." Chris does not realize how medically sensitive patients will be when receiving blood transfusions, and that it would not be in their interests to be taking blood with hormonal imbalances, especially from Chris, whose blood has been affected by both his unhealthy lifestyle and the dangerous intake of the unsupervised Oestrogel drug.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."<ref>[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]]</ref>]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in a photo of a young Chris, his right eye is green.<ref>[[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg]]</ref> He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[Asperger's syndrome]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch and accent. It can also work backwards, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice: autistics often have difficulty distinguishing voice tone. In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal and even deeper than later years, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact he has little to no human interaction; such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're autistic. Chances are likely this has become permanent for Chris, given his decades of isolation.

[[/cwc/|Some]] have pointed out that Chris has an unusually wide [[wikipedia:Nasal septum|septum]], as seen in his [[MySpace]] picture.<ref>[[:File:Myspace.jpg]]</ref> Others go as far as to say he lacks one altogether. The cause of this, like his bent [[duck]], is as yet unknown.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Hair]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Chris and remorse

2020-02-02T06:40:00Z

Rtucker913: /* Motivation to apologize */ Correct name

{{Dated|Most of the examples given are no longer relevant.}}
{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Quote|Please, just forget about me in total; please, disband all online groups and individual hatreds against me; please, remove everything about me off of the Internet, your minds, and your hearts.|[[Chris]], after making a public apology on [[Facebook]].}}

[[File: Apology.jpg|thumb|Chris's long awaited apology to [[Reldnahc]]]]

Every so often, one of [[Chris]]'s [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|less]] [[Twin Falling Towers|flattering]] deeds catches up with him, and he is forced to apologize. These apologies, like most of the other times Chris tries to come off as emotional, often feel very forced and insincere, leading many [[trolls]] to wonder if Chris is even capable of feeling '''remorse'''.

It's not out of the question. A common trait of [[autism]] is a lack of cognitive empathy, meaning it's likely that Chris has a difficult time trying to understand what other people feel. Time and time again he's shown himself unable to understand others' feelings of [[Chris and death|loss or sadness]]. He seems equally incapable of understanding how his actions could possibly hurt or anger others. Additionally, Chris is also shown to be incapable of sharing the emotional experiences of others, being affected by them and being able to respond with an appropriate emotion due to his [[narcissism]]. This ultimately shows that Chris is incapable of understanding and feeling other people's emotional states.

When he is expected to show remorse, it often seems as though he is just going through the motions, making the absolute minimum effort to get whoever he has upset to stop pestering him, so he can go back to his oblivious existence playing [[PlayStation 3]].

==Concept of wrongdoing==

Developing an understanding of right and wrong is an important part of a child's development. Very young children don't take into consideration what is ethically the right or wrong thing to do. They base their actions on whether they are punished or rewarded, before they eventually internalize a consistent value system and learn to police their own behavior. Chris seems to be stuck in the former, childlike state. If something makes him feel bad, or if experience tells him he'll get in trouble for doing something, it must be wrong. If it makes him feel good, or looks like it could have potential rewards, it must be right. Other considerations, such as what his [[Chris and religion|supposed faith]] proscribes or how this will affect others, simply do not rank.

An excellent example would be how Chris managed to destroy his relationship with [[Megan Schroeder]]. Chris was at war with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], who were, among other things, calling him [[Homos|gay]]. In an attempt to disprove their allegations, Chris uploaded [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a certain image]] to the website, apparently under the belief that that sort of information overload would get them to shut up. When the denizens of ED assumed the image was of Crystal, Chris was quick to correct them. At no point did he even consider Megan's feelings. When she [[Megan emails, 2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|called him out]], Chris didn't realize he had done anything wrong, and assumed she was upset simply because she didn't watch enough [[Chris and sex|porn]].

{{Quote|I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of [[Chris and English|outtercourse]] (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you. I'm sorry.|Chris, [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|not getting it at all]].}}

As such, Chris isn't really capable of remorse or a sincere apology. The natural precursor to an apology is the internal realization that one has done something wrong, a realization that Chris's childish, self-centered mindset will not allow him to reach. In his mind, he's done something "wrong" only when the people around him react negatively. Furthermore, as a rule, he assumes that their reaction is just the result of some misunderstanding, reasoning that if he was just given the chance to explain what he was trying to accomplish, they would understand, and all would be forgiven.

==Motivation to apologize==
[[Image:VivianLetsTalkBusiness.PNG|thumb|TL;DR: I'm sorry, now give me money.]]
As explained above, Chris's logic when it comes to matters of right and wrong is almost wholly reactionary. His rationale for apologizing follows the same pattern. He issues them only when made fully aware that he won't get what he wants unless he at least tries to appear genuinely remorseful.

Every apology Chris has ever made can be immediately connected to something Chris wants, and thinks he'll get if he says the magic words "I'm sorry". We almost never have to guess what that thing might be, he almost always mentions his desired goal in the same paragraph, sometimes even in the next sentence.
{{Quote|I wish to apologize to [[Michael Snyder]] for that mistake I made over nine months ago that got me kicked out of The GAMe PLACe... I miss my Friday nights over there… and also... y’all are the only place in town that has, uh, Eye of Judgment cards.|Chris, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apologizing in order to buy stuff]].}}
{{Quote|I apologize for the past unformalities[sic] and emotional outbursts in past communications... I ask for 25% of all money... you have and will have made from all [the [[audiobooks]]] you have put together and sold.|Chris, apologizing for sending [[Vivian Gee|Vivian]] a fucking [[Death threats|death threat]] ... [[Chris and reality|so that she'll pay him]].}}
[[File:154-ApologyLetter.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
Because Chris's apologies spring from this simplistic cause-and-effect mentality, things tend to get interesting when whoever he's issuing them to tells him that all is not well, and that he is not forgiven. In [[I am Alive|one notable case]], he admitted to ungentlemanly conduct regarding his feud with [[Asperchu]]. It was a fairly obvious attempt to get [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia advertisements|certain ads removed from the CWCipedia]], but, notably, he announced his intention to kill off the character of [[Simonla Rosechu]], in accordance with [[Evan|her creator's]] wishes. He didn't act quickly enough, and CWCipedia was taken down from the web altogether. Although his anger was understandable, Chris revealed in [[9 February 2010|his next video]] that he had never intended to kill Simonla in the first place, and that the apology was not TRUE and HONEST. We had all suspected as much, but it's nice to get a confirmation once in a while. After CWCipedia returned, he did indeed kill Simonla, but only under pressure, and in the most contrived, dull, yet very lulzy way possible.

The one apology that arguably highlights Chris's insincerity the most is his in-comic apology to the Asperpedia Four, which takes place ''while [[Chris and hypocrisy#"I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment|condemning them to death]]''. The cognitive dissonance this creates would be overwhelming to any sane person, but [[Autism|for some reason]], Chris thought that this ludicrous non-apologetic apology was both okay and that the recipients would accept it as genuine. In that very same issue in fact, Chris at one point sheds a tear after sealing up the populated [[4-cent garbage.com]] building and destroying it. You know, because faking remorse with crocodile tears ''totally'' justifies mass murder.

Chris's insincerity can also be seen in Chris's misadventures with [[The Wallflower]]. When the shit hit the fan and she cut off all ties with him, he made his usual [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pathetic display of sorrow]], making it very clear in the process that he had only wanted her for [[sex]]. When his apology failed to work as planned, Chris became very angry and spiteful, and started [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|demanding that she apologize for hurting ''his'' feelings]].

Another came from his apology note on his [[Facebook]] discovered in [[October 2012]]. In it, he seemingly came to the realization that he had massively messed up, that about as much [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laughs]] had been gotten from him as possible and that he was sorry for it all happening. Surprisingly, it was a very well written, unselfish apology that would seem somewhat convincing - right until he demanded that all instances of trolling and [[CWCki|websites]] [[CWCki Forums|dedicated]] [[/cwc/|to]] [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|him]] be stopped and removed, and there was absolutely no mention made of him making any attempt to straighten up. All he wanted was all the bad stuff about him removed so he can feel better about himself. Had he not included that, people might have actually taken him seriously, but, [[nudes|as]] [[28 October 2011|usual]], he had to fuck himself over.
{{-}}

==Common traits of a CWC apology==

===Explanation===
One recurring element in Chris's admissions of guilt is an explanation of why he did whatever he's apologizing for. The way these speeches are worded often indicates that Chris believes that if we just understood his intentions, we would all agree with him, and that nobody would be offended.

A famous example appears in the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]] video. Chris explains that yes, he videotaped himself performing a selection of disturbing sex acts, but it was all for his sweetheart [[Ivy]], and this evidently renders his actions understandable and acceptable. Supposedly speaking to a young child who was deeply disturbed by his behavior, he tells her that his behavior was perfectly reasonable because he is both adult and human. This combination of warped logic and an even more warped world-view was a crucial component of his breakthrough to mainstream infamy.

Another good example would be the time he [[Twin Falling Towers|used the worst terrorist attack in American history for an exceedingly bad joke]]. After learning that [[Kacey]] came from a military family, Chris did what was expected of him and made a [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|public apology]]. However, he was more concerned with continuing to slander [[Clyde Cash]] and assuring us he was a [[United States of America|good American]] (although he didn't know the words to his own national anthem)<ref>[[Mumble 7#summary|Mumble Chat 7]]</ref><ref>[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]</ref> than with actually expressing remorse and making an attempt at recompense.
[[Image:SnuffOutClyde.jpg|thumb|This looks like a good idea.]]
{{Quote|The joke was mainly directed to how WEAK Clyde Cash was only, I had no idea or intention of offending anyone, other than Clyde, on such a massive world-wide level.|[[Apology_for_9/11_Joke#Apology_image_text|Chris's written apology]].}}

Within the same video, he changed the photoshop he'd done of the World Trade Center towers into birthday candles. That he saw no problem in presenting an image of the two buildings on fire and repeatedly calling them weak while he asserted that he was a good American proves that he [[Slow-in-the-mind|completely missed the point]] of what he was supposed to be apologizing for. He was far more concerned with sullying Clyde's name than with any blowback or offense his comments might have caused.

===Rationalization===

Chris is incredibly self-righteous. In his mind he is the only decent man left in the world, and everybody else is a stupid, evil [[JERKS|JERK]] whose sole mission in life is to cockblock him because he is [[Autism|special]], and furthermore out of jealousy for his [[Chris and his Ego|many]] [[Chris and reality|"successes"]] in life. This mindset gives Chris all the justification he needs to mistreat others, because as far as he's concerned they're all the bad guys, standing in the way of his [[Love Quest|heroic quest]].

This "Everything I do is right" mindset shows through when he is forced to talk about his prior transgressions. Chris might offer a half-assed apology, simply to conform to the wishes of whoever he's talking to, but it will often be accompanied with a long explanation as to why he ''had'' to do it.

{{Quote|I was wrong... I pretended to be him yet he was the liar. I'm the real deal... So on that one part I was wrong for the right reasons.|Chris, [[I Love You Kacey|almost admitting wrongdoing]].}}

He exhibited this self-righteous attitude many times in the [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] saga: because he is the TRUE and HONEST Christian, this gave him the right to [[For Kacey from CWC|attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend by]] [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be him]], and then [[SHE IS MINE NOW|gloat about it once he apparently achieved his aim]]. Once again, Chris saw no wrong in this. Since Liquid wronged him by trolling him in the first place, anything he did in response was entirely justified.

==="Maturing"===

{{quote| I Have Matured.|Chris' catchphrase}}

Ever since the [[DoopieDoOver|Doopie Saga]], Chris had the tendency to claim that he has not only learned his lesson but that he has also "[[Adult Chronicles|matured]]". More than anything, Chris uses this as an excuse to avoid any kind of responsibility or backlash from trolls, who understandably view him as childish for many of his interests and actions.

==Retraction==

Chris, believing that his actions are always right, nearly always has to be pressured into making any form of apology at all. Most, if not all, of his apology messages are motivated by the people he [[Fuck Quest|physically desires]] (be they obvious troll or otherwise) or [[Asperchu|desires to appease]], rather than the public outcry he causes, and certainly not by any true sense of guilt. His retraction of an apology is often redundant because nobody believed he was truly remorseful in the first place, and just as hollow as the apology itself, in that Chris is quite happy to lie to [[Chris and his Ego|save face]] or to gain [[china|something he wants]]. For instance, Chris '''finally''' [[02 March 2010|'sincerely' apologized to Alec and Mao]] for his actions to them on 2 March 2010. However, only a month later, on 8 April, he was talking to [[Jackie_E-mails#Chris's only friends: trolls and his parents|Jackie]] and, in an attempt to gain sympathy from her, claimed that Alec was "trying to one-up [him] for months now".

When trolls hacked his PSN accounts, Chris made [[a near public apology]]. A blatant attempt to get his PSN account back, the apology was, of course, chock full of lies and insincerity.

One of his favorite ways to smite his [[Clyde Cash|invisible internet enemies]] and [[jerkop|real-life foes alike]] is to lay a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] upon them; thinking that he has powers akin to something more along the lines of Wicca, Voodoo, or Goku from [[Dragon Ball Z|DBZ]] than with the [[Chris and religion|Christianity]] he supposedly practices. He only issued the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]] after [[Kacey|his latest e-girlfriend]] told him that he shouldn't have used the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in the first place.

Considering that he [[Surfshack Tito (video)|quickly returned]] to his ways of cursing, [[Don't Mess With Me|threatening]], and [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|insulting]] his enemies, the sentiment obviously didn't stick.

==Shifting blame==

When Chris isn't trying to justify the trouble he causes, he usually resorts to blaming others. The most famous example is him blaming [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] for the end of his friendship with [[Megan]], even though it was because of a picture he himself thought up, drew, and then uploaded to his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|article]]. Chris had it literally screamed at him in [[Mumble 3]], but then, as now, he still doesn't know the true reason. The best anyone has ever been able to extract from Chris is that he came on too strong. While technically true, this is a vast understatement which fails to capture the massive amount of fault which lies with Chris (that is to say, all of it).

====The Wallflower====

Chris went to great lengths to keep the knowledge of [[The Wallflower]] away from the slanderous trolls of the Internet. However, he really wanted to credit her in one of his sycophantic Little Big Planet levels. Chris asked Wallflower if she thought it would be safe to credit Wallflower by her FF.net penname. Wallflower agreed, as she was unable to find any obvious trails leading from her FF.net account to her Facebook account. Unfortunately for both of them, trolls still managed to find a link between the two accounts within 24 hours of Chris dropping her penname. After she was linked to the site and promptly horrified by how much of her personal information had been compromised, she politely requested that the article be reworked with her privacy in mind. As much of the information in the original Wallflower article had very little to do with Chris, the request was deemed reasonable and the admins of the CWCki complied.

Frightened and disgusted by what she had found, [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|she broke off all contact with Chris]]. She also clarified to the CWCki admins that they had never dated, never had any kind of relationship beyond casual association, and before her introduction to the CWCki she really didn't know much about him at all. Chris, however, [[Chris and reality|not to be deterred]], proclaimed many times that they had [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)#What had happened|been on several dates]], and [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)#What had happened|"Shared DNA"]], along with enjoying a kiss and massage. Since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (The Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). However, [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie's_Questionaire_1|Chris had either momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]], something that would have been a monumental occasion in his life, lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed, or lied to Jackie about ''not'' being kissed (though that is very unlikely). Either way, he still lied about the kiss, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).

In the month following their "breakup", Chris would go on to blame The Wallflower for [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)#What had happened|having an internet presence at all]]. From Chris's perspective, the whole incident was Wallflower's fault for having a Facebook page for trolls to discover in the first place. Chris repeatedly insisted that ''Wallflower'' was the one who needed to apologize to him (as she had okayed the use of her screen name), despite the fact that putting her screen name in the level was his idea in the first place. More than a year after the debacle, Chris [[Calling Out|made it obvious]] that he believes that the person who should apologize to Wallflower is Surfshack Tito rather than himself.

====Forgetting====

Aside from directly shifting the blame by [[List of Chris's lies|lying]], Chris has been frequently known to "forget" important, critical details of his life, typically memories that either make him either look or feel bad. When [[Jackie E-mails|Jackie]] was flirting with him by e-mails and found out about the CWCki, she asked Chris about cheating on [[Ivy]] with [[Vanessa]], the full details of which are documented right [[Ivy|here]]. Chris, of course, claimed flat out that the whole thing was a troll deception and that Jackie shouldn't believe it. When Jackie informed Chris she found a video of him admitting it and confessing, Chris claimed he [[Jackie E-mails 2#Chris "forgot" he cheated on Ivy|"forgot" this "portion"]].

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|October 27th in 2008]], Chris nervously announced he had found his one true sweetheart; [[Chloe]]. Many things immediately leapt out at the trolls as being lies, including his previous announcements on an [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|IRC chat]]. Due to Chris's unreliable short-term memory and inaction on the part of [[trolls]], after the 27 October video Chloe was never mentioned again in a video by Chris. A little more than a year later, in [[Mailbag 13]], rather than simply admit he was lying, Chris claimed "I currently have no recollection of a Chloe", even though she was supposedly the woman he had his first real kiss with.

In [[Mumble 6#On The Transgender Community|Mumble 6]], the troll army called out Chris on his statements regarding transgendered women. Chris claims that he forgot his previous statement, which may or may not be completely honest. In any event, Chris has discovered that (real or otherwise) a faulty memory is a socially acceptable way to dodge probing questions about one's past lies.

== Index of Chris's apologies ==

Below is an abridged list of Chris's various apologies for his many, many misdeeds. Small apologies may have been missed here and there, but these are the big ones.

*When Megan [[Megan Emails, 2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|called Chris out on his reprehensible actions]] regarding the porn he drew of her, he first [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|copy-pasted "Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you."]] fifteen times in an e-mail to her, then [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|went into detail about how a handjob works]], figuring that [[virgin with rage|sexual frustration]] and [[naive|ignorance]] were the root causes of her [[Chris and anger|anger]]. Yeah, about that...
*After Chris was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], he tried several times to get unbanned. The first was [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|a video where Chris apologies just so he can buy more junk]]. The [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|second]] was where he prepared a script, stashed a camera in his pocket, then walked into The Game Place to confront [[Michael Snyder]], claiming he had changed and apologizing for his actions. After Michael flatly refused to listen and called the cops, Chris berated him and hoped God would forgive him for being so "heartless and cruel". Mike responded "He probably will", and Chris stormed out, but not before calling him a Jew.
*After threatening [[Vivian]]'s life when she made better [[audiobooks]] than he did, Chris apologized to her... then made a demand for a cut of her "profits", the two sentences separated by only a single dot.
*Chris made an [[A near public apology|apology video]] after [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|releasing a series of videos insulting various YouTubers.]] Aside from sounding half-assed and insincere about it, Chris's motivation for doing so was clear: his PSN account was being held hostage by the last YouTuber he had insulted.
*In [[I am Alive]], Chris apologizes for his ungentlemanly conduct in regard to Asperchu. This was a transparent attempt to get the [[homo]] ads removed from the [[CWCipedia]] and his behavior [[9 February 2010|subsequent]] to this apology proved he meant nothing he said in the video.
*In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris apologized to the Asperchu Four ''while simultaneously having them brutally executed'', including having one of them killed by a [[Sandy|toddler]].
*After [[April 16 Fetish Vids|filming himself performing sex acts for Ivy]], Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|apologized for his actions]], supposedly to a [[Ching Chong|young girl]] who had found the footage and was scarred by it. But he structured his apology to state that his behavior was, in fact, completely normal and that she shouldn't feel bad for watching it.
*In [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions]], Chris apologized for cheating on [[Ivy]].
*After [[Twin Falling Towers|mocking the worst act of terrorism]] in United States history, Chris made a subsequent [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|apology video]]...which featured the Twin Towers as candles on a birthday cake, complete with multiple gouts of flame flying from the top.
*When [[Kacey]] discovered Chris had pretended to be the [[Liquid Chris|other, better Chris]] in order to get a travel visa to [[China]], Chris apologized by way of his video [[I Love You Kacey]], where he claimed he "...was wrong for the right reasons."
*Chris '''finally''' [[02 March 2010|'sincerely' apologized to Alec and Mao]] for his actions to them on the 2nd of March. However, only a month later on the 8th of April he was talking to [[Jackie E-mails#Chris's only friends: trolls and his parents|Jackie]] and, in an attempt to gain sympathy from her, claimed that Alec was "trying to one-up [him] for months now".
*On 21 [[October 2012]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook]] status [[Facebook#Please forgive me!|apologizing]] for past misdeeds. He immediately asked that all online groups and "individual hatreds" be disbanded.
* On 17 [[December 2014]], [[Apology Letters‎|three letters]] were leaked on the CWCki Forums that Chris wrote to the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[Wal-Mart]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Naturally, in each one, he shoehorns in references to [[troll]]s causing [[stress]].
* On 29 [[October 2015]], Chris uploaded a [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|YouTube video]] explaining his apology for his prior homophobia. However, barely 1 minute into the video, he stressed the importance of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] being straight, showing a facet of his old self which hadn't truly disappeared completely.

==Conclusion==

To Chris, remorse is nothing more than a formality that he must pantomime in order to get what he wants. If you expect that he would ever be sincerely sorry for anything he does without an ulterior motive behind it, you are expecting way too much of him.

== References ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Chris and kindness

2020-02-02T06:34:57Z

Rtucker913:

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|I Knew they were trolls, but they had Good Intentions, and they were genuinely Kind Individuals. I am not listening to your bull shit.| Chris showing that he prefers kindness over reason.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1203943388552318977</ref>}}
{{quote|For I am ze kind and compassionate Chrrristine Chandler! | Chris, proclaiming his kindness and [[A New, Fun Trick|his ability to roll his R's]]}}
[[File:Cwcconvnetioncard.jpeg|thumb|200px|"Show me kindness and fun: I smile for you all!"]]

Despite all of his moments of [[Chris and anger|rage]], [[Death threats|death threats]], [[lies]], and... [[Manchester High Leaks#Japan War Essay|yuck]], Chris does have a soft side, and he is not afraid to show it. As of recently, he will more often than not be motivated to act '''kind''' towards other people, even towards complete strangers. Due to his [[autism]] and upbringing making it difficult to empathize with others, these attempts are often awkward and occasionally cross the line to disrespect.

== Chris and his morality ==

[[File:Chris' Big Dilema.jpg|thumb|Chris conflicting with his morality and his desires at the same time|200px]]

{{Template:See also|A-Logging#Chris is not Hitler}}

Like his beliefs on [[Chris and religion|religion]] and [[Chris and gender|gender]], Chris's stance on morality is difficult to interpret. Chris often claims that he is a kind, good-natured, saintly person that doesn't deserve scorn. To a certain extent, he's right, but for all of the wrong reasons.

Despite what one may think about Chris, the reality is that he is relatively harmless and is somewhat capable of distinguishing right and wrong. But that is only scratching the surface, as Chris's selfishness and [[Naïve|naivete]] often turn out to be the main culprits behind him doing immoral actions, rather than true malevolence.

One infamous example of this behavior is when he foolishly drew and uploaded [[SheCameForCWC.jpg]] onto Encyclopedia Dramatica as a means to combat all of the pictures of [[duck]]s and [[pickle]]s he found on the site, as well as to [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|prove his straightness]], not thinking about how [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] might respond to being depicted in such an undignified manner in a shoddily drawn piece of porn. Megan, who was looking for just about any reason to stop talking to Chris<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post</ref>, was understandably revolted. However, what cements the fact that his naivete was partly responsible is how Chris tried to explain to Megan what happened in the picture itself, thinking that she was inexperienced with [[Chris and sex|sex]], and didn't understand what was going on, rather than the obvious fact that she was depicted in such a demeaning situation, and that Chris obviously wants to pound her.

Whoever Chris acts kindly to depends on who he would classify as [[Gal-Pals|his "friends"]] and [[Trolls|his "enemies".]] If someone gets in the way of whatever he wants to do, or he shifts the blame on someone else for his own fails, Chris will deem that someone as a troll that wants nothing more of him than to make him miserable, showing very little respect of whoever inconvenienced him. Whoever Chris doesn't classify as a troll or feels "temporarily" joined the trolls side are his friends. Typically, Chris will attempt to befriend internet celebrities and staff members of media he enjoys.

== Empathy ==

Chris has a very warped understanding of empathy. This could be attributed to his autism, as autistic people generally have difficulty empathizing with others, although Chris's case has much more to do with his upbringing.

== Motivations for doing good ==

===[[Love Quest]] and [[gal pals]]===

[[File:Doopie White Knights Chris.jpg|thumb|200px]]

While socializing with his alleged pals, Chris always takes the time to act as kind as possible to them, to the point where it becomes downright disturbing. Unsurprisingly, Chris has used Social Media as a means of continuing his [[Love Quest]] and finding the [[sweetheart]] he has desired for over a decade. Because of that, most of the people [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|Chris attempts to befriend are girls]], with and [[Boyfriend-Free Girl|without boyfriends]].

In terms of friendships on social media, whenever he feels he's up the creek without a paddle, Chris will almost always doubt that he is in any way responsible for anybody turning against him because, in his eyes, he is too kind for anyone to simply block him on Twitter or to be hated by the masses, and instead [[Chris and remorse|shifts the blame on the trolls]]. This coupled with the fact that Chris refuses to see the worst out of his friends unless he gets the hint that they denied access to their [[china]] makes it sound even more disturbing.

===Avoiding trouble===

In other instances, Chris will only act kind to people to avoid getting into trouble.

===Personal benefit===

In general, the reason for Chris's acting kindly towards others is his thinking that doing so is the best way to manipulate them into doing whatever he wants them to. This is possibly due to his misunderstanding of simple etiquette and manners.

== How Chris demonstrates kindness ==

{| class="wikitable"
|[[Chris and remorse|Apologizing]]
|As mentioned above, Chris has a very limited understanding of empathy. On the rare occasions in which Chris admits his misdeeds and apologizes for them, ulterior motives are usually, if not always, present.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_and_negotiation</ref> This is in part to his upbringing<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Borb</ref> and otherwise due to other things such as [[autism]], all of which limit his ability to understand empathy.
|-
|Using pet names
|To refer to a gal-pal in a "kind" nonsexual manner, Chris will often refer to them as either [[Darling|"darling" or "dear"]].<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/LadyOfTheCosmo</ref> However, since Chris obviously doesn't understand how creepy it is to refer to a girl he's just met on the internet as a "darling", most girls who talk to Chris online will be set off by Chris's misuse of the word.
|-
|Gift-giving
|
|-
|}

== Genuine acts of kindness ==
Chris once participated in raising funds for [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]], a charity program that works to raise awareness of childhood cancer. Although he did it in memory of his [[Bob Chandler|deceased father]], who actually passed away as a result of heart disease rather than cancer, it was still considered a positive contribution Chris made to society.

He also donated to Red Cross in the wake of Hurricane Harvey in September 2017.

== See also ==

* [[Chris and remorse]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and writing

2020-02-01T01:56:31Z

Rtucker913:

[[Image:395-HowThePKMNCame.jpg|thumb|right|[[Audiobooks|Look at that cover, goddamn]]]]
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I do believe it wouldn’t be published, not because of the [[Chris and art|art style]], but because of the story. I mean, no one wants to read this.|Comic artist Mara Wild, on [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]].<ref>[https://areomagazine.com/2019/06/28/the-strangest-fandom-on-the-internet/ The Strangest Fandom on the Internet], 28 [[June 2019]]</ref>}}

[[Chris]]'s '''writing''' is marked by many flaws that have persisted throughout his creative output.

== General problems ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and art]], [[Sonichu (comic)]]''

At the heart of it, Chris's writing is rather two-faced. Despite the subject matter frequently being [[The Incredible Lioness|completely unsuitable for children]], Chris shows a juvenile, [[Slow-in-the-minds|simple]] writing style. But at times, he throws in (and misuses) [[College|college-level]] vocabulary words and attempts to use advanced sentence structure; he is quite fond of semicolons, even if he uses them to link together two unrelated sentences. The result is a confusing, jumbled writing style.

Chris frequently pauses from the action to describe exactly what a character is wearing and [[Sonichu 8|expound upon trivial aspects of characters]] [[Autism|in unnecessary detail]], even when it has no relevance to the plot. Inversely, he frequently [[Evan|glosses over important things]] that may [[Sonichu Balls|have relevance at some point]]. Even in "action" scenes, Chris will frequently pause in order to introduce something completely irrelevant.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_44 Issue 0 Page 44]</ref> The overall presentation is consistently sloppy, marked by unwieldy turns of phrase and elementary typographical errors that suggest that Chris does not proofread anything he creates before putting it on the Internet. Also, Chris has the habit of using the font Comic Sans to type, which is generally considered lazy and ugly. Luckily, in [[Sonichu 12-9]], he moved on to Proxima Nova.

Chris produces no preparatory writing of any sort for his stories, content to make them up as he goes along and putting the overall narrative at the mercy of his moods and fancies. He regularly changes his mind as to what the story should be and [[continuity|contradicts what has come before as he pleases]], unable to comprehend why this would bother his audience. He also often introduces and foreshadows seemingly important plot elements that [[Darkbind Sonichu|never substantially contribute to the plot]] or are dropped abruptly when Chris [[Anchuent prophecy|loses interest in them]].

To the surprise of nobody, Chris is no [[Alec Benson Leary|Alan Moore]] and ''Sonichu'' is no ''[[Asperchu|Watchmen]]''. Chris makes no effort to work to the strengths of the comic medium, and instead approaches his comics more like a [[television]] series or [[anime]] in structure, using storytelling techniques and visual information that work in those mediums but not so well on paper. He is ignorant towards comic books and how they are supposed to work as a sequential narrative. Despite a desire to work for major companies like [[wikipedia:DC Comics|DC]], [[wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], [[wikipedia:Dark Horse Comics|Dark Horse]] and [[wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie]], Chris has never shown any real interest towards those companies and their publications, though he did seem vaguely aware of the miniseries ''[[wikipedia:Marvel Zombies|Marvel Zombies]]'' in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|one of the Alec calls]], criticizing its [[Sonichu 10|violent]] and [[Parody|parodic]] nature despite admitting to having [[Naïve|never read it]]. Within ''Sonichu'' itself, his Mary Sue insert has referred to the comic as an anime and himself as its director, and has given it ratings such as TV-14, etc., which only apply to television standards. ''Sonichu'' isn't so much a work designed to be a comic, but rather an economic storyboard for a hypothetical TV show or video game.

=== Exposition ===
[[File:SchuComic10P3.jpg|thumb|If only there was some way that events and actions could be depicted visually, rather than as endless and tedious walls of Comic Sans.]]
[[File:SchuComic10P65.jpg|thumb|For fuck's sake.]]
{{quote|Fifteen minutes of dialogue, and a transformation, later...|[[Sonichu 9|Chris, not even trying anymore]]}}

A common thread in discussions of Creative Writing is the doctrine of "show, not tell" when writing fiction; rather than having events merely be told to the reader through characters, if possible, the author should feature the scene as it happened, with the characters being a part of it. This point was clearly lost on Chris.

As a writer, Chris is over-reliant upon exposition, to the point that some works (such as [[The High School Story]]) contain nothing else. Chris does not like to illustrate facts of his stories through example, and instead expects the reader to accept his every word as gospel, leaving no room for interpretations that are not [[TRUE and HONEST]]. Confusing dialogue for exposition, Chris believes that his level of exposition is normal in mainstream comics.<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling|Mailbag 19]]</ref>

When Chris ripped off the comic Rosechu's Story for use in [[Sonichu 15]], he added in heavy exposition. When criticized by fans, Chris commented:

{{quotebox|[Rosechu's Story] definitely compares and contrasts to my own that goes beyond literal small talk. In my defense on the heavy dialogue: I have lots of wisdom and thoughts to share, so I digress.

It beats saying one line, leaving it at that, and Not getting the explanation and thought across. Big difference between #TeenTitans and #TeenTitansGO: GO has decreased explanatory dialogue, and look at how crappy it is. The original show offers the greater detail in good ways.<ref>[[July 2019 social media posts]]</ref>}}

In addition, Chris critically fails at the literary element "show don't tell" even in illustrated action scenes, choosing instead to describe what a character is doing between two asterisks (some notable offenders are *CUTS VINES*, *CRASH TO GRASS*,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_52 Issue 9 Page 52]</ref> *TELEPORTS IN*, and *MAKES GUN DO A 180*.), which shows that the idea of onomatopoeia is lost to him. In these cases, examples including "SLICE", "THUMP", "WHOOSH" and, perhaps, "SQUEAK" would have told readers the same thing, but with a lot more emphasis on what's going on.

[[File:SchuComic1.jpg|thumb|right|[[Mary Lee Walsh]] threatens Chris and Sonichu with a "Hee! Hee!" attack, which most military analysts seem to agree is ''not'' a particularly potent or spine-chilling threat. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], however, is widely believed to destroy everything.]]

=== Characterization ===
: ''See also: [[Chris and art#Character design|Character design]]''

Chris's characters, as they are written, are distinguishable only by the vaguest surface elements. Chris's view of ideal personalities in men and women is clear to him, and because he wants all of his creations to be perfect, his characters are barely-distinct variations on a theme. Chris does not comprehend the appeal of characters with flaws. In his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|second call with Alec Benson Leary]] Chris explained that because he considers all of his characters to be very much real, living things that exist in [[C-197|some sort of cartoon universe]], giving them flaws would amount to tormenting a living creature (in the context of the conversation, Chris defended bleaching [[Asperchu]] into "Mitch Sonichu" because the character shouldn't have to suffer his original name). His general response to the criticism that his characters lack personality is denial.

The indistinct characterizations of the Sonichu cast are reflected in their dialogue. Chris does not use dialogue to suggest distinct personalities and worldviews. All characters are equally capable of speaking as Chris does, and from Chris's perspective, including [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|small children]].

This in turn leads to only three basic stock personalities. All males (except for Chris) are superficial idiots who are only interested in fucking and enforcing Comic-Chris's [[CWCville|draconian laws]], all of the females are vacuous sluts who only want to fuck, shop and cook (in that order, no less), and [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic-Chris]] comes off as a murderous, insane dictator of a militaristic city-state enforced by a paramilitary secret police and a pack of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|super-powered goons]] with immunity from [[Chris and the Law|prosecution]] and freedom to commit any [[Sonichu 10|atrocities]] they ([[Gun Comic|and he]]) please, utilizing a [[Magi-Chan|psychic hedgehog]] to spy on his citizens to make sure there are no [[homos|gay people]], and gleefully reveling in the pain he inflicts on those whom he deems unworthy.

Just as the protagonists are designed to be Chris's bland, homogenous vision of ideal heroism, the antagonists are simply evil for the sake of evil. The villains more often than not act with no apparent motivation whatsoever other than an abstractly contrived desire to bully Chris by sabotaging his heroic efforts to get a girlfriend. How they would prosper from this is unknown, especially considering that they have not once ever come close to defeating the Hedgehogs. Since Chris doesn't see the appeal in protagonists with flaws, he likewise doesn't see the appeal in villains with redeeming qualities (probably because most of his enemies are avatars of real people whom Chris genuinely believes are involved in a [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy]] against him). The closest thing to a sympathetic villain is [[Blake]], but only because he has a raging [[I am STRAIGHT|heterosexual]] libido just like all the other furries in the comic.

Consequentially, any attempt at character development fails miserably. Chris marks any change in character by indicating (in exposition, of course) something akin to "it just happened." With Blake, who arguably goes through the most stark change in character (an antagonist becoming a supporting character), there is absolutely no moral struggle or any build-up to the moment he defects to the side of good. His sudden infatuation with [[Bubbles]] (who beat him almost to death a few issues prior) and a brief, nonchalant mention of mistreatment at the hands of his [[Naitsirhc|master]] are all the reasons the reader is given for why Blake changed sides. Blake isn't even the worst offender, either; no reason is given for [[Wes Iseli]]'s defection to the enemy ''at all''.

===Dialogue===
Chris only uses dialogue as an expository device in his comics in the bluntest fashion possible. Chris feels the need to include extensive amounts of dialogue in his comic, resulting in textwalls that demand type so small that they often threaten to become illegible. Textwalling is Chris's preferred method of dictating the story as he means for it to be experienced by his reader. Chris has defended this practice due to feeling a "preference to elaborate, because some people rarely get visual references."<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling]]</ref> On a similar note, speech often includes hand-drawn emoticons to display what the speaker is feeling, affirming the notion that Chris doesn't believe that his artwork or dialogue alone can convey his ideas, in addition to his total ineptitude with emotions.

Even when not textwalling, Chris's dialogue is highly unnatural. He appears to have no grasp of voice, with nearly all his characters using the same stilted tone, verbosity, and [[CWC-isms]]. This can easily be seen in early issues, where the phrase "[[boyfriend-free girl]]" pops up from multiple characters. This may be a symptom of his lacking theory of mind: he believes that, since he talks in this fashion, so does everybody else. The heavy-handedness, stiltedness, and single-mindedness of his dialogue can be seen as symptomatic of Chris's [[autism]].

=== Plot and Drama ===
Chris's [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|confused understanding]] of reality and fantasy affects his ability to write captivating fiction. Because Chris considers his creations to be "alive" in some parallel universe, he finds that giving them artificially happy and uncomplicated lives is satisfying, and assumes that his [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] shares this interest.

Chris seeks to avoid tension or suspense that would trouble his creations and his intended audience wherever possible. Thus, he is unwilling to depict his characters in peril that is convincing, and therefore, "real," and wants to pair them off early and dwell on their long, idyllic romances. Villains tend to put up laughably little challenge, and the protagonists usually win with a show of devastating and effortless force. Virtually every fight ends with the heroes winning almost immediately and with little difficulty. Initially villains are allowed to posture about a little before Sonichu shows up to ruin their shit, but as the comic goes on and Chris comes into conflict with internet trolls, the battles become even ''shorter'' and ''less climactic'' for the sake of emphasis. Likewise, any instances emotional drama between characters are resolved immediately. The only time where a problem was resolved without an artificially cheery resolution was in [[Sonichu 11]], wherein [[Cera Rosechu]] fails to mend her relationship with [[Kevin the Jew]], though the character seems "over it" after crying a little about it.

Similarly, previews and allusions to the future always emphasize victory over the forces of evil. A vision of the PVCC attacking CWCville ends rather conclusively with Chris saying "Good, we've won!" A terse preview for the following issue completely dismantles all the tension in the only marginally dramatic plot arc: "Next issue I get out of the time void." His devotion to neutralising tension is such that in [[Sonichu 10]], Magi-Chan broke the fourth wall to prematurely reveal that he would eventually fall in love with Silvana, presumably so that readers would not have to worry about what would happen to them in the meantime. Even the worst writers would never use the words "spoiler alert" in one's own work (with experienced ones instead opting for foreshadowing), but Chris feels it necessary to spoil a yet-to-be-revealed plot point ''in the comic''.

As you might guess, on top of everything else, this makes the storyline for Sonichu '''unendurably boring.'''

Ironically, the sole exception to this rule is [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris himself]] - but even this treatment is baffling. As the activities of Comic-Chris are based on his Creator, he is unable to simply resolve Chris's [[Love Quest]] quickly and easily ([[Lovely Weather|but it doesn't stop him from trying]]). Thus, even while his doppelganger accumulates more and more superpowers and allies, he is still shown being curiously ineffectual, unable to handle [[W-M-Manajerk|most]] [[Wes Iseli|threats]] without help, and before long, his insipid romantic efforts have become the sole outstanding arc. However, this is less the result of Chris's skill at dramatic writing and more his lack of skill with love and life; that Comic-Chris fails even with every [[Yu-Gi-Oh|card]] stacked in his favor only reflects that the real one does, too, and whenever Chris thinks his Love Quest might be over in real life, he attempts to give it [[Wedding Comic|the typical easy resolution]] in the comics as well.

The actual plotting for Sonichu is problematic as well. Chris interjects new ideas very abruptly, and often with no real logic or progression, just because they caught his fancy. For instance, there's absolutely no reason for Chris to suddenly be using Yu-Gi-Oh cards and terms in [[Sonichu 5]]; he was just interested in them at the time he was writing it. There's no scene where Chris gets a magic deck of trading cards or anything to explain why he can suddenly cast spells. The same goes for [[Darkbind Sonichu]]; Chris was simply interested in The Legend of Zelda and Darkwing Duck at that time, and wanted to put the two franchises in his comic, and after publishing [[Sonichu 0]], Chris lost interest in the story and abandoned the story until [[Sonichu 10]]. When Chris loses interest in an idea he presents in his comic, he will resolve it in a quick and often unsatisfying manner. Characters once meant to enter the main cast, such as [[Ivy]], will then be killed (off-panel, no less) so that Chris can proceed to his next plotline of interest. Other dropped narrative threads (such as [[Megan Schroeder|Meg-chan]] or [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]) might only get a sentence or two tying up the loose end, and some (e.g. [[Jiggliami]]) are simply never referred to again.

The comic's narrative is yet further clouded by the unsteady rate at which Chris updates, along with his habit of occasionally working out of order. For example, Chris ends the last story in [[Sonichu 9]] with announcing that [[GodJesus]] had guided him to love with [[PandaHalo]] - only to have God and Jesus suddenly introduce him to Ivy in the very next issue with no explanation for why the Lord of Lords is backtracking on his dating advice to his favorite son.

When Chris adds something to a Sonichu comic due to the pressure of another party, he is known to make these additions unsatisfying on purpose for the parties requesting them. The most stupefying example may be the Time Void subplot. Written in after criticism that his alter-ego took up too much of the comic's time, Chris ''almost'' removes himself from the action for ''almost'' two issues, and when it unceremoniously ends, it just so happens to leave him ready to indulge in the most self-servicing revenge fantasy yet.

=== Visual clarity ===
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|An example of Chris's mind-boggling ability to make a completely unreadable page, hosted by what appears to be [[Chris and Religion|Father Christmas and Chris with a beard.]]]]
[[Image:SchuComic9P92.jpg|thumb|left|Holy balls, try reading ''this''.]]
[[IMage:MSCPython.jpg|thumb|right|Witty banter is considerably less funny when it's blatantly ripped off ''and'' you have to follow the numbers.]]
[[File:Son11p17.jpg|thumb|15 years of drawing ''Sonichu'' comics and Chris still can't lay out dialog.]]
Like many children, Chris is unconcerned with making his work clear and easily read. Chris does not plan page layouts in advance, and instead draws panels one at a time, cramming however many he can onto the page and further harming his comic's visual clarity. He does not understand (or perhaps care) that word balloons and text boxes must be arranged left to right and top to bottom in the intended order in each panel, and that the panel's art must be set to accommodate that order. The dialogue flow in panels with multiple word balloons in Sonichu regularly must be pieced together from context clues by the reader. The worst example of this is seen below: Chris establishing a reading order by numbering lines of dialogue.

== Chris as a poet and lyricist ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and music]]''

{{quote|I’d lay her down caress her gently tickle her [[China|fancy]]; have her tickle my [[Duck|fancy]], and give it to her with the learned lonely experience I’ve endured.|Chris, expertly stirring feelings of both mild disgust and confusion<ref>For My True Love, I Would…</ref>}}

In poem and lyric, Chris has a poor understanding of the anatomy of an appealing composition. He mistakes exceedingly saccharine language for the romantic. He also pads out gaps with [[random-access humor]] and [[I Love Lucy|curiously dated language]].

He has total disregard for proper meter, and rhymes are forced with bizarre neologisms (''Rosey, as often as birds tweet/will you be my lovely heartsweet?''<ref>[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]</ref>). Sometimes he can't even manage to make it rhyme (''Heart-broken, sad and very lonely,/I may never remove my virginity.'')<ref>[[Saddest Heart in the World]]</ref>.

Not even the Bard of Avon is safe from Chris. In [[Sub-Episode 3]], a famous line from ''[[wikipedia:Macbeth|Macbeth]]'' has a stupid couplet of Chris's making tacked on to its end (I shatter hearts as I please! I hurt them hard with the greatest of ease!<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_20 Issue 4 Page 20]</ref>), while [[Bubbles]] mutilates a line from the ''[[Wikipedia:The Tempest|The Tempest]]'' in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_95 Issue 8 Page 95] (paraphrasing Miranda's famous line, "O brave new world, That has such people in't!")</ref> Needless to say, the contrast is not that hard to see.

== Chris as a journalist ==
[[Image:199-newsdsh.jpg|left|thumb|"Yellow journalism" gone oh so horribly wrong]]

''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' was a publication released by [[Nintendo]] about Nintendo products. It sought to inform video game enthusiasts anything they might want to know about Nintendo products, and how they should feel about them. It is easily Chris's single greatest journalistic influence. To this day, he seeks to plainly tell the masses what the truth is and how we should feel about it.

Chris's first notable work of journalism is his final project in high school, [[A Week With Christian Chandler]]. It is a prime example of Chris's understanding of [[honesty]]: the only thing that could reflect poorly on him in his mind was the omission of any fact; Chris saw fit to document anything and everything that happened, including [[Honor Roll|sleeping through class]]. At this early stage it seems that Chris was unwilling to massage the truth because he had yet to experience the disapproval of peers that concerned him, as the reactions of Internet trolls would later.

Chris's next journalistic effort came in college with ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'', which operated under the characteristic presumption that the details of his daily life were of inherent reader interest.

== Chris as a blogger ==
Chris's blogging is a continuation of his ''News Dash!'' mentioned above. In a way, Chris's first and most frequently updated blog was [[CWC's Sonichu Site!‎|his web page]], in which he posted "updates" about his goings-on (such as they were; most updates were simply denouncements of [[Mary Lee Walsh|a certain Dean]]). The site, however, was not in what most people would consider a blog format; instead of archiving and replacing old content with newer material, Chris simply stuck new updates wherever he could find new space that day, resulting in an erratic and bizarre page layout. He also experimented with conventional blog formats, and the results were only marginally easier to read.

To this date Chris has had several actual blogs:
*[[PSN Blogs]]
*[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]
*[[MySpace|A small MySpace Blog]]
*[[CWC Blog]]
*[[Twitter]]

The location may change, but the [[Autism|style is consistent and unmistakable]]. This may be linked to Chris not knowing exactly the purpose of a blog. Ideally, on a blog, one publishes one's opinions and [[Love Quest|experiences]] in a group setting, allowing constant meaningful communication. While Chris has no problems [[CWCipedia|sharing intimate details about his life]], he doesn't seem to get the communicative part. Blogs are just another place for him to spew truth and [[honesty]], as well as to try to incite action against his detractors.

Another arguably more important fault with Chris's blogging is that '''Chris's blogs are fucking boring.''' Successful bloggers post about their life in much the same way as anybody else, but they know that they need to keep it entertaining to read. While Chris did unintentionally cause the occasional [[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 16:37 — PaRappin Reviews of the Top 10!|laugh]], most entries are outright [[CWC Blog#24 August 2009|annoying]].

Arguably the most notable blog ever made by Chris was the infamous [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|Adam Stackhouse blog]]. Seething with [[anger]], Chris showed that — just like with [[Wikipedia]] — he doesn't want to contribute, but enforce his beliefs on anyone who will listen.

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE Adam and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet Gal-Friend to Seattle; it would have been terriffic. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN. And I LOATHE Surybuchwald and Aprelewsky as well, because their MUSIC probably landed those [[JERKS]] in 2nd and 3rd.|Chris, demonstrating his able skills as net citizen}}

==Chris as an essayist==
{{Main|Manchester High Leaks}}

While in [[Manchester High School|high school]], Chris was persuaded to stop napping long enough to write [[Manchester High Leaks|several graded essays]]. The lessons he failed to learn from these experiences continue to influence his prose style. Chris's education in essay-writing seems to have been limited to the basic five-paragraph essay. Chris was trained to think of the intro paragraph as the "appetizer"; the body paragraphs, respectively, as "veggie", "potatoes/rice/pasta" and "meat"; and the conclusion as "dessert" ([[Obesity|anything related to food seems to reach Chris]]). Despite having such a sophisticated structural apparatus at his disposal, Chris's essays were shallow and incoherent (in part this was a product of the assignment restrictions – his essay "Work vs. Student Life", for example, was only 100 words long). His history essay "Japan, 1912-1949", which appears to be his first foray into the genre, lacks a clear thesis sentence, well-organized body paragraphs, or a meaningful conclusion (not to mention using WWI sources in points about WWII). His teacher understandably deemed it "very confusing & unclear". Another history essay, "Who was our best President?", does a better job of segregating main ideas within the three body paragraphs, but remains extremely rigid and rote. His "Canterbury Tales" essay has no real structure at all and simply retells one of Chaucer's morality tales in a rambling narrative. For this assignment, he received only two out of ten points for "Clarity of Expression."

These limitations and oversights have carried over into what nonfiction writing Chris has done as an adult. Nearly all of his nonfiction prose has been autobiographical (and what fiction he writes generally involves [[The High School Story|suspiciously familiar material]]). The only real exception has been "Chris Chan's Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future",<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]</ref> his clarion call for [[Dating education|Dating Education]], which he submitted to a contest in 2009. Here there is nothing to suggest that Chris ever learned even the basics of essay writing, with its buried thesis, its unsupported paragraphs, its idiosyncratic capitalization, and a fucking frowny face. Chris's essays about his favorite subject – himself – similarly show little regard for writing standards. "Story of My Current Days" has a thesis of sorts, but the body is simply a clumsily-structured retelling of events which Chris expects the reader to glean meaning from without any assistance from him. His much expanded [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|Wikipedia profile]] has a self-serving thesis and is helpfully carved into subheadings, but remains fluid and disjointed. The several essays he wrote for the [[CWCipedia]] share the same first-draft problems of sentence-long paragraphs and an unappealing potpourri of boldface, italics, and capitalization.

== Chris's reading habits ==

Anyone who wants to be a good writer must be well-read. It's one of the most natural ways to become acquainted with good style, the elements of a plot, and correct spelling. Chris's [[Chris and his ego|ego]] is so inflated that he thinks he can produce something [[Honor roll|brilliant]] with no effort whatsoever. The only books Chris has ever been seen reading voluntarily are paperback ''Goosebumps'' and ''Fear Street'' novels by [[R.L. Stine]] which are notable only for their sheer mediocrity. Chris read these books, which were written for elementary schoolers, well into high school. In terms of the readings he was assigned at [[Manchester High School|Manchester High School]], Chris retained only a superficial understanding of them. During the [[Father Call]], Chris said that he read ''[[Wikipedia: To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]'' a mere month prior, which in all likelihood he only mentioned because it was assigned in high school. This was almost instantly proven false when he confused it with ''Of Mice and Men'', another high school assignment. The [[Manchester High Leaks|high school essay]] he wrote about a selection from Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" earned only a 69%.

== See also ==
* [[Chris and art]]
* [[Chris and English]]
* [[CWC's Diary]]
* [[R.L. Stine]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Writings}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Chris and}}

Sonichu 0 Official Videobook

2020-01-31T01:58:15Z

Rtucker913: /* Episode 1 */

[[Image:issuezero.jpg|thumb|''Sonichu 0'']]

'''''Sonichu'' #0 Official Videobook''' is a series of videos made by [[Chris]], in which he reads and comments on [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]. He started uploading these videos on 10 [[September 2009]].

The [[PSEye]] soldiers on valiantly, but with much skippage.

*In Episode 1, Super Sonic collided wit' a Pikachu... and the world gets a little more retarded!
*In Introductions, the Chaotic Combo make their first appearance!
*In Episode 2, Sonichu and Rosechu get all the way to [[Dating Education|Date Number 2]]!
*In Episode 3, we find out that, for the record,
{{quote|HE LOVES VAGINAS! HE IS STRAIGHT!}}
*Next up are Classic Sonichu Strips!
*And in Sub-Episode 1, a [[Jerkop]]-tastrophie!

==Episode 1==

{{Infobox/Videobooks
| name = Episode 1: Sonichu's Origin
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6VTanu2bohM}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2009
| Episode = [[Episode 1|1]]
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Cartoon CWC]], [[Sonic]], [[Kel]], [[Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu]]
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_2|Episode 2]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

'Ello, [[Chris and his Ego|you should know me by now]], this is [[Christian Weston Chandler]] here!

[''Shows [[High School Ring]], grabs [[Scrapbook of Fail]]'']

And I'm sittin' behind the camera as I'm about to start off my own regimen of the uh, audiobooks, the OFFICIAL audiobooks.

''[opens Scrapbook]'' [[Vivian]] is a hack when it comes to these; so I'm gonna show you how it's really done. But, anyway, just to make it clear, you know, any names, persons illustrated in any of the comic books, except that of me that may seem similar to anyone, real or fictitious... are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. So anyway, lets begin.

The c- the cover for Book Number Zero. Yeah, the hand-drawn premiere issue.

'''Chris''': "Go, [[Sonichu]]! Go out and zap to the s- extreme!"

'''Sonichu''':[''nasal''] "I will! Thank y', Father!"

And we're just gonna keep on going with the page flipping at this point, so moving on.

====Episode 1: Sonichu's Origin.====

Our story begins in an open field five miles from the city of Station Square which is under siege by the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]]. While [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] ponders over the destruction, a wild male Pikachu takes notice of the far off destruction.

'''Pikachu''':[''In a surprisingly passable Pikachu impression''] "Piiika? Hm?"

'''Chris''': "Hmm. I am Christian Weston Chandler, Sonichu's creator and author of this comic series. And this stor- and this is his story and nothing less."

Meanwhile!

'''Perfect Chaos''': "Errr." [''WSSHH-Pshh'']

[''Sonichu Theme Music: DER-DER-DERRR-DDEERRR!'']

'''Pikachu''':"Ouch!" [''WSSHH-GASP'']

About fifteen miles away... there's a girl Raichu. And ''she'' gets hit! Hit by the [[chaotic rainbow]] that will change their lives forever...

[''FSSHHW''] [[Kel]] [[Homos|comes out]]. At the cottage.

'''Kel:''' "Raichu I saw the... [''gasp''] who are you, and what'dja do with my Raichu?"

'''Transformed Raichu:''' [''gasp''] "Kel, I am your Pokémon. I was hit by a rainbow, and now I have transformed!"

'''Kel:''' "Oh my, you're as beautiful as a rose."

'''Transformed Raichu:''' "As a rose? I need a new name, since I am a new [[Pokémon]], so you can call me... [[Rosechu]]"

'''Transformed Pikachu:''':"Mm? Ohh... Wha? [''gasp''] I've changed. Huh? The battle is on! I've got to help! It's time to zap!" [''sound effects'']

'''Super Sonic:''' "Well, I almost got 'em."

'''Perfect Chaos:''' "RAAARGGH!"

'''Transformed Pikachu:''':"THUNDAAAAAAaar!"

'''Crowd''': [''crowd cheers''] Yaaaay. Yay. [[Sonic]]. Sonic. Yay.

Later on,

'''Transformed Pikachu''': "Wow, what a battle. Not only that but I've received super speed, and a new body, and above all else, I'm able to talk like a human now. And apparently, I look like that hedgehog I've helped earlier. From the cheers, I guess his name was Sonic... Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic had just about the same abilities as I do now, and I guess I am now a hedgehog now too. I am a new Pokémon, I am no longer a Pikachu, so with that inspiration I am now... [[Sonichu]]!"

'''Chris''': "And from then on, Sonichu went on to make new friends, as well as enemies, and he will use his abilities to stop evil and save the world. Stay tuned for more zapping adventures of Sonichu!"

==Episode 2==
{{Infobox/Videobooks
| name = Episode 2: Genesis of the Lovehogs
| video = {{#ev:youtube|e8XxeHNPzRA}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2009
| Episode = [[Episode 2|2]]
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Cartoon CWC]], [[Kel]], [[Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu]]
| previous = [[Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_1|Episode 2]]
| next = [[Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_3|Episode 3]]
}}
NOTE: ''Introductions'' and ''Episode 2'' are in the same video, but are treated as separate chapters in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu_Comic_Collection ''Sonichu'' #0] on [[CWCipedia]]</ref>

=== Transcript ===

====Introductions====

[''enter a long narration by Cartoon CWC'']

As the creator of Sonichu and as well, I feel I should take on a trip and learn more. Besides, I promised my other Hedgehogs as well. So let's tour my section of the cartoon world. The comic title is ''Sonichu''. By that we mean the saga of the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]], as well as his friends and comrades.

Location: it is set in and around the city of [[CWCville]], [[Virginia]], a vibrant community with cool people, an av- and average amount of cool places to chill at. I am the Mayor.

Characters:

This is Sonichu, Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon, and main character. Currently on the year [[Sonichu chronology#2004|2004]], he is sixteen years old. His hobbies include running, surfing and chillin', mostly outdoor activities. Other things he enjoys is scenery around him. His favorite colors are yellow and blue, and he enjoys popular music. And he loves Rosechu. Yay~

This is Rosechu. She is a spunky, beautiful girl of Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon. She is fifteen years old in 2004. Her hobbies include [[sex|frolicking]] through the fields, shopping at the [[CWCville Shopping Center|CWCville mall]], and [[Women's Rights|cooking]]. Her original trainer, the caring girl Kel... "Rosey" is Rosechu's nickname, and she likes to pick flowers. Her favorite flower is the [[Zapbud]]. She keeps her heart saved for her Sonichu.

This is [[Kel]]. She's Rosechu's caring trainer.

[[Naitsirhc]], the son of Team Rocket boss, [[Giovanni]].

[[Black Sonichu]], a.k.a [[Blachu]], Sonichu's [[Liquid Chris|evil twin]]. He was created Giovanni's lab with an accidental cose of cherry cola with Sonichu's DNA. His lair- wids lair be changed- later his name would be changed to Blake.

From the [[rainbow]] of chaos emerald energy, [[Christian's sex joke|eggs]] were released into the various locations around the world. They hatched inta five more electrical hedgehogs with special charactarisstiss. When they all- when the hedgehogs all get together, they create the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Also released from the rainbow were seven [[Sonichu Balls|Chaotic Crystals]], which would be the emphasis around the Sonichu series, equivalent to the Chaos Emeralds. They are the Chaotic Sonichu Crystals.

Anyway, this is [[Wild Sonichu]]. He was raised in a jungle by a Venusaur and a Scyther, who taught him Razor Leaf and how to... ass- asse- how to access his speeds and ninja skills.

This is [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. She was raised by a mother Swampert who taught her how to create tidal waves. Bubble has a happy positive personality, and she just loves to have [[sex|fun]].

[[Angelica Rosechu]]. She was raised in a church by nuns, she is a believer, and she [[Mass debating|prays]] every night. She is usually the peace- at peace, especially while she is flying sky-high.

[[Punchy Sonichu]]. He grew up in a dojo where he is perfect his punches. He is also full of [[random-access humor]]. He lost his tail in a brutal fight.

[[Magi-Chan]]. He was raised- he raised himself in the mounds as the, uh... as he meditated, and perfect his telekinetic powers.

Respectively, Wild is a Grass-Electric, Bubbles is Water-Electric, Angelica is Flying-Electric, Punchy is Fighting and Electric, and Magi-Chan is Psychic and Electric.

Later to be a one-time character possible with more times to be seen, this is [[Flame the Sunbird]], protector of the [[Legendary Master Sunstone|Master Sunbone]] and mysterious [[Rainbow Island]].

Another mysterious origins, three more hedgehogs will rock CWCville. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], [[Saramah Rosechu]] and [[Wes-Li Sonichu]].

And then just for a two- and then just a couple of villains for the introductions, we got [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel the witch]], and the slew- and the slew of her [[Jerkops]].

And lastly there's me, the intrusive creator in Sonichu's story, [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]]. To describe myself in real life, I am [[Things Chris has ripped off|very creative person]], I enjoy playing video games; [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[Pokémon]], ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' among other things, even ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' currently and ''[[Guitar Hero]]''. I also like to build with [[Lego]] pieces. I enjoy most kinds of music. I am also fascinated with the [[Transformers]], and I also play the [[Pokémon]] and ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' trading [[card games]]. I am 5'10", I was born February 24, 199- [[1982]]. I am working toward- I was working towards [[CADD|computer-aided drafting degree]] at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Piedmont Community College]] at this time, I graduated with both of them already. I'm currently single and... need girlfriend, [[Homos|even though I am actually branching out currently]], in the year- in this- at this time- and I'm actually working- and I am actually brought- gettin' more successful each day. And please enjoy the best of this comic and more on the current Sonichu site, which is also known as [[CWCipedia]]. Too bad I had to lose the, uh, original address to the damn, dirty trolls.

Now,

====Episode 2: Genesis of the Lovehogs.====

'''Sonichu''':[[A Hike|[''heavy breathing'']]] Ohh... since my transformation, my new bigger body needs more food than before. Nuts, apples and berries aren't gonna cut it anymore. It's been over a week now and I'm ''sooo'' hungry. Not only that but I feel lonesome. Huh? Wooow... Where's that angel running off to?

Also on a director's note just to let you know, they met two weeks after that event in Station Square, which happened in the year [[Sonichu chronology#2000|2000]]. And they did not get married until the year [[Sonichu chronology#2006|2006]], so they had a long time to hang around each other and love each other very fondly and truly. Anyway.

'''Chris''': Ahh! So, she lives in that cabin. And with her trainer. Maybe I can get a bite- a stite to eat as well.

'''Kel''': "Mmm. Did you have a good run, Rosey?"

'''Rosechu''':"Ehh, so-so."

'''Kel''': "Well come on in, I'm fixing some [[Wikipedia:Brunswick stew|Brunswick stew]]."

'''Rosechu''': "Hmm... Dince my transformation last week- a couple weeks ago I've felt so lonesome, because there's no other... ss- Pokémon around like me to love.

'''Kel''': "Oh relax, Rosey. What about my Dragonite David? He's loyal."

'''Rosechu''': "Ah come on, Kel! David's [[duck|just too big]] for me! I can ya have him! Yib- me- I mean, you can have him, I don't want him!"

'''Kel''': "Well, can't say I didn't try! For all we know, your love could be just around the corner." [''knocking''] "Or right at the door!"

'''Rosechu''':"I'll get it! Hello, how may I- I-yi-yi-yi..."

Mmm.

'''Sonichu''': "Hey, I'm just a wild one who hasn't eaten much in over week. Can you help me out?"

'''Rosechu''': I don't believe it! Handsome Pokémon, like I never l- h- like I've learned? Who's like-me-I've-got-to-learn-more-about-him! [''shrieks''] "COME ON IN! WOW! So what's your name?"

'''Sonichu''': "I'm Sonichu!"

'''Rosechu''': "I'm Rosechu, but you can call me ''anytime''."

'''Rosechu''': "Hmm... I might call you Rosey."

Hehehehehe!

"Hey Kel, we have a guest! Hey, Rosey's my nickname."

'''Sonichu''': Boy... I thought ''I'' was the speedy one! Well, she's cute anyway, heheh.

'''Kel''': "Who is it, Rosey? The stew is almost ready!"

'''Rosechu''': "Kel, this is Sonichu! He wishes to break bread with us!"

'''Sonichu''': "Hello!"

'''Kel''': Wow, another hedgehog Pokémon! And a man for Rosechu! Eh, this must be faaate. "Nice to meet you Sonichu, have a seat with Rosey, stew's almost ready. Go ahead and entertain your new boyfriend!" [''Chris giggles in glee'']

'''Rosechu''': "So, what's your favorite color?"

'''Sonichu''': "Uh... yellow. No, blue!"

One night later! One night, a few ''days'' later!

'''Rosechu''': "Oh, isn't the night sky so romantic?"

:"Boy, sure is!"

'''Rosechu''': "I could just sit here and look at it for hours with you!"

'''Sonichu''': "Yeah, but then we'd fall asleep together! Heheh... And I wouldn't have it any other way."

'''Rosechu''': "Oh Sonichu, I'm so happy with you! I love you!"

'''Sonichu''': "And I love you, Rosechu. As long as birds tweet, you are muh lovely [[heartsweet]]!"

'''Rosechu''': "Awww!"

[''FIREWORKS! FSHEEW! POO PEW PEW PEW PEEEEEEEW! POO PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEEEEW!'']

==Episode 3==
{{Infobox/Videobooks
| name = Episode 3: Sonichu versus Naitsirhc! (& Classic Sonichu Strips)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J8z_jNmjl58}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2009
| Episode = [[Episode 3|3]]
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Cartoon CWC]], [[Rosechu]], [[Sonichu]], [[Kel]], [[Naitsirhc]], [[Black Sonichu]], [[Slaweel]], [[Barbara Chandler]], and [[Saramah]]
| previous = [[Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_2|Episode 2]]
| next = [[Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode 1]]
}}
NOTE: ''Episode 3'' and ''Classic Sonichu Strips'' are in the same video, but are treated as separate chapters in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu_Comic_Collection ''Sonichu'' #0] on [[CWCipedia]]</ref>

=== Transcript ===

====Episode 3: The First Battle Encounter: Sonichu versus Naitsirhc!====

'''Naitsirhc''': "EEEHRGHHEEH, I'm from Team Rocket! And I'm... [[Naitsirhc]], son [[Giovanni]]! Team Rocket, Brighter than light! Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"

:"Release Rosey, now!"

:"Than we will fight! Zapdos, Go!"

:I can't believe this, even after what happened... Earlier, when Kel ha- had to run some errands at CWCville mall, she allowed me to borrow- she allowed Rosey to borrow her credit card. I had to make sure Rosey didn't spend over 100 dollars.

Heheheheheh.

:At first it was easy, due to willpower, but then with all the sales and coupons...

:"Hmm! Twenty dollars for this lovely brace-et? Wait! 75% off? AWRIGHT!"

:Heh! Well, I'm not Superman!

HAHAhahaha, Ahh.

:Thankfully we- thanky- thankfully Kel gave me cash for luuunch, but how was I know that the cheeseburger had [[pickles]] on it? Eh!

:"Ueaah, that was that was great! What's wrong, [[Sweetbolt]]?"

:"I-I HATE PICKLES!"

:[''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Meatwad]] impression''] THE BUN IS IN THE MIND!

[''Chris totally loses it''] HOOHOOHOOHOOHOOOOO!

:[''Pshhhhhiiiiu!''] [''gasp!''] A Zapdos snatched my love!

:"HEEELP!"

:Which brings us up to date. Excuse me while I save my sweetheart!

SKY UPPERCUT! Drill peck. MEGAA-KICK! Wing attack. Double Team. Oh-oh, I'm confused! Eheheheheh.

Here comes the final blow!

[''long silence and pans across page''] [''PSH!'']

:"UAAaah!... Oh!"

[''PPPPPPSHHHWEEWWWEEEEE!!'']

:"Ey! I wouldn't miss out on this action!" [''PSHHH! PSHHHKEW!'']

:"Return to me! Envo- Enjoy your victory now, hedgehog. But we will meet again! And when we do, I will capture you for my father and Team Rocket! Let's go, Raikou!"

:[''crowd''] YAAAAAAY!

:"Oh, sweetbolt, you're my hero! Thank you!"

:"I was astounded wi' how you battled, Sonichu! You rock!"

:[''crowd''] Yes, Thank you, Sonichu!

:"As mayor of the city of CWCville, I congraduate you on your victory, and I thank you for saving the day! Good job, Sonichu."

:"Thanks!"

A little bit later, after the fight.

:"Hm. Well, Sonichu, I feel this comic is my best work yet!"

:"I think so too, pop! But wow, all this fantastic creative, and you are still girlfriend-free?"

:"Eh, bothers me too. But I will never give up. I will find my [[sweetheart]] yet. Well, I gotta go back- I gotta go back to Charlottesville's mall to try again!"

:"Good luck!" [''car noises''] There he goes, with a grin on his face! In the end, he'll keep on saying 'one girlfriend, please.' Because he'll probably again- he'll probably fail again, wit' the dang sign of his or whatever... but, he's so brave, I'm proud of him anyway. And for the record, HE LOVES VAGINAS! HE IS STRAIGHT! GET USED TO IT.

And now, for some

====Classic Comic Strips====

June to-

=====June 13, 2004.=====

Sonichu, 25 years later. One possible future, anyway.

:"Wow, honey! You're quite the hard worker! Hmmmm."

:"Ahhh, thanks, sweetheart! I could cut a hundred logs before breakfast! But I ate lunch couple hours ago!"

AHAhahehehaha!

Metonic and Vamprosa! Sonichu plus Metal Coat and Trade makes Metonic. Rosechu plus highest-friendship lvel and level-up at midnight: Vamprosa.

June thir-

=====January 3, 2004=====

:"Well, Sonichu, I've been living my life and beautiful."

:"Hey Rosey, what's new?"

Woops, I for- messed that up, but ah whatever.

:"But seriously, I wish I didn't have to work so hard. I'm so tired of it! But being with you- a girl being with you, a great friend, makes me feel better. A whole lot better!"

:"Me too, Rosey."

:"Anyway, I'm..."

:[''grumbles'']

:"And that's how it's been!"

:"I understand your feelings. Here, Happy Valentine's Day!"

:"Aw, you're so sweet!"

:"Huh? What's up..."

:"Black Sonichu! Quit following us around!"

Ehahah!

Drawn

=====March 18, 2004.=====

Christian and Sonichu versus the [[Slaweel|Mastermind]]!

:"Ah, since you will not leave me alone on my love quest, we have no choice but to fight you, SLAWEEL THE WITCH!"

:"Eeheeheheheheh!"

:[''together''] "ONE SHOT IS ALL WE GET!"

:"Curse-ye-ha-me..."

:[''straining sounds'']

:"Eeheehehehe!"

:"HAAA!"

:"And thunder attack!!"

:"Heehehe--AAAAAAAAAIIIEE!"

Booyeah! Ooh, yeah! Knocked her down! Ooh, yeah!

Hmm,

=====May 8, 2004=====

drawn.

:"Sonichu! Naitsirhc has my mom! We have to go save her!"

:"I'm with you, Chris! Ha- he won't get away with this!"

:"I just hope that she's alright."

:"Heheheh! When those hedgehogs learn of your capture, they will run right into my trap!"

[''PSHW! FSHH!'']

:"Naitsirhc! Release my mother, or we will give you the shock of your life!"

:"Yeah!"

:"Take one step closer, and I'll press this button! Which will make your mother's cell explode!! You don't want that, do you? Ehaha!"

:"Step huh, how about a spark? Sonichu!"

:"Got it!"

:"OH NO! He zapped my rem- mote control apart!"

[''PSHH''] I changed back.

:"Are you alright, Mom?"

:"I am now, thanks to you and your Sonichu!"

:"Happy Mother's Day!"

Heehee.

Drawn

=====December 5, 2004.=====

:"Slaweel! This is a trap!"

:"That's right Chris-chan! There's no escape from my magic and my jerkop squad! You want a girlfriend? TOUGH LIGHTNING!"

:"BRING IT ON!" [''PFWW''] "D'Ow!" [''flop''] "Dirty rats!!"

:"Oh no! Chris!"

:[''PSHH''] "I gotta save him from those fiends!"

:[''PSH!''] "Oh, shoot!" [''WSHWSHWSHWSH'']

Changin' back!

:"Chris! Are you ok?"

:"Uh! Nicole! You save me! Thank you!"

:"Well! Tyrranyoppression is against your quest, huh? Let's rest for a while, then I will help you. You want a girlfriend? You got it. I will help you, e'en though I'm already taken."

==Sub-Episode 1==

{{Infobox/Videobooks
| name = Sub-Episode 1: Christian Chandler in Jerkop-Tastropie
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wiPNcHGlLEs}}
| stardate = 11 [[September 2009]]
| Episode = [[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-1]]
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Cartoon CWC]], [[Jerkhief]], and [[CWC]].
| previous = [[Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_2|Episode 3]]
| next = [[Sonichu 1 Official Videobook#Episode 4|Episode 4]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

Eh, my first comic adventure, myself in

====Jerkop-tastrophe.====

[''sigh''] On this day, March 24, [[2005]], it's been over a year and seven months since I began my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]]. I still haven't found my sweetheart. This sweetheart search is, makes me suffer some frustration, and the other things that add to that are my loneliness, my [[stress]], the failures, and all those... MEN. ARGH! Every last one of them! Taking all the women! Leaving me with none to choose from! They're all jerks! I HATE THEM ALL SO MUCH AT THIS TIME. Arrrgh. Back in the year 2005- I have a lighter opinion now at this turn- current time when I upload this video... meow. Anyway. And those evil jerkops won't leave me alone either. I'm just a lonely, frustrated virgin looking for true love and honest trust with a good sw- with a good woman to be my sweetheart, ALL RIGHT! Jeez, is that so much to ask? Anyway,

:"[''singing DOOT-DO-DOOT-DO-DOOT-DO-DOOT!''] Hey! I'm calling you out!"

:"Huh?"

:"I'm so sick of your complaints and tears and on and on about how lonely you are, and how you need a girlfriend! You're just a [[Lies|liar]], you solicitor!"

HAAAH-SHOCK!

:"How dare you! I'm only looking for [[TRUE and HONEST|true, honest]] and love trust! True love and honest trust! So just leave me alone, you villainous jerk!"

:"No dice! My fellow Jerkops will fight you, and force you to leave!"

:"[''wrong voice'']I don't wa- [''normal voice''] I don't wanna fight. I will defend myself if I need to!"

:"ALRIGHT! Cuff him!"

[''fighting noises'']

:"Oh, I'd better transform quickly. Electric! Hedgehog! Power!"

[''swishing magic transformation-type noises''] [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].

:[''rapping''] "[[Random-access humor|Here we go, let's rock and roll with things that make you go "hmmm." Everybody dance now!!]]"

:"All right, okay, myuuh. WATCH ME NO! Metal Armor, Equip!" [''TICKTOCKTICKTOCKTICK''] [''PPPPBBBT!''] "Rocket Punch!"

[''fighting noises punctuate the following sequence'']

Mega-Kick!

Back Missile! "Missile comin' out my back! EEHUHUHEUHEUEHEUHU!"

Do a Double Team! So it goes right through me!

I launch a laser beam!

I deflect with Mirror Coat!

:"Aaaargh! My armor!"

Thunderbolt!

:"Aaaahhh!"

:"Give it up now! Leave me alone, and we can end this battle!"

:"No way. I'm not done with you yet!"

[''PSH!''] Barrier. [''tinkling'']

:"[[Fuzzy-wuzzies]] get you hugs. [[Prickly-Wicklies]] get you slugs! You gave me a slug, so I give you my secret ultimate attack! [[Curse|CURSE-YE-HA-MEEEE... HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!]]"

:"OOORRHH ARROOUUHH!! Oh. Wait a minute. Ha! I didn't feel a thing!"

:"Oh, you will."

:[''slip!''] "SPLAAHHW!" [''crash!''] "AH, MAN MUH GLASSES!"

:"Uh...Chief? Your wife just called. She has divorced you, she's left you, she took all your things, she took your children too, also she hates you for your dirty smoking habit."

:"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

:"Yep, I've cursed you with bad luck and extreme misfortune. This would notta happened if you had not challenged and threatened to me, as well as not leavin' me alone, with my ever so frustrating sweetheart search and [[love quest]]. Call me a lying solicitor, picked on my methods of attracting a boy-friend free, 18-to-current-age-year-old girl, whom I can love and trust truly and honestly, and most importantly, handcuffing me on September 11, 2004 for no dang good dirty reason! I hope that you have learned to... never mess with a [[Virgin with rage|truly frustrated virgin]], when he is on a quest for a s- girlfriend to share true love and honest trust with."

:"Urrhh...my soul hurts!"

:"So did mine! And my heart was previously shattered, too!"

Stay tuned for more Audiobooks. By the original creator and master. As they are official and true. Do never buy [[Audiobooks|the fakesss]]. Peace out.

==Notes==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Book 0 Videobooks|linkname=Sonichu Book 0 Videobooks}}
<references/>

{{Videobooks}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2009| 2009-09-10]]
[[Category:Official Videobook Episodes]]

Guitar Hero

2020-01-29T19:53:04Z

Rtucker913: It just links back to here

{{taxpayermoney}}

<center>{{#ev:youtube|gpDNSgu7NfM}}</center>

[[Image:Chrisguitarhero.png|thumb|Chris, as he imagines himself to look.]]
[[Image:CWCGitarPlaying.jpg|thumb|Chris, as he is in reality]]

'''''Guitar Hero''''' is a series of music rhythm video games where one uses a guitar-shaped controller to activate the notes of a song as they scroll down the screen, similar to ''Dance Dance Revolution'' and its dance pad controller. Being one who [[Chris and music|very much enjoys music]], [[Chris]] undoubtedly bought many games in the franchise during its lifetime.

==History==
Chris owns a ''Dance Dance Revolution'' set-up, as well as other popular music games like ''[[SingStar Challenge|SingStar]]''. While ''DDR'' and many [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii]] games involve actual movement, vaguely even resembling actual exercise at times, ''Guitar Hero'' remains the only game which Chris has mentioned using for exercise, even though ''DDR'' has an exercise mode and the Wii has numerous actual exercise titles. Specifically, Chris has stated several times that ''Guitar Hero'' is good for his health, because he has to stand up to play it, "and move a bit for fun and movement."<ref>[[Mailbag 2#The Guitar Hero workout|Mailbag #2]]</ref> Chris's reasoning either comes from his autistic mind believing that any muscle movement at all is exercise, or him being so [[Obesity|fat]] and [[Chris and health|lazy]] that standing up actually takes effort. Because standing still and pressing buttons on a plastic guitar is far less strenuous than moving your feet on a dance pad, Chris has favored ''Guitar Hero'' more, and has made references to it several times throughout his many works.

Data from his [[PlayStation Network]] account reveals that Chris spent nearly [[Chris and money|$500]] downloading new songs to play in various ''Guitar Hero'' games. By comparison, he spent a little more than $50 on downloads for its closest rival in the music game market, ''Rock Band''.

Chris has appeared to show some decent skill level in ''Guitar Hero'' games. Even when [[Asperchu|rivals]] poke fun at conspiracies behind mysterious orange notes (if you catch their drift), Chris has been able to survive songs on hard difficulty, as shown in some of his videos. Sneakily enough, he just says the expert difficulty "is good"<ref>[[Common Questions#07 January 2010|Common Questions, 7 January 2010]]</ref> — we have never known if he ''routinely'' plays on expert or not.

==Delusion==
Here in the real world, people anticipating playing the game think ''Guitar Hero'' will be the most awesome music game ever, one that really makes you feel like a rock star...until they ''play'' it, at which point they realize that they're just mashing buttons on a plastic guitar. Actual guitarists have said that ''Guitar Hero'' doesn't help you learn to play guitar, and have themselves struggled playing the game--they said they needed to first forget everything about how to play guitar. And even those who enjoy the game can see that a real guitar fretboard looks nothing like the guitar controller's buttons.

Chris, however, seems to believe that playing ''Guitar Hero'' is a feat on par with playing a genuine guitar. For example, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris takes his PS3 and Gitar of Fail with him on his band tour. During [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], he also explains that [[Blanca]] plays the ''Guitar Hero'' for [[Jiggliami]]'s band, which implies that the band only performs covers of songs from the games. In the ''SingStar'' Challenge, Chris specifically forbade the use of real instruments as well as ''Guitar Hero'' guitars. In what may be the most mind-blowing example yet, Chris dismissed a real, actual, non-video-game-controller guitar as a "[[Katie Bay E-mails 3#31 July|Wooden Nickel]]".

Because Chris thinks he's talented in every respect, he also loves to pretend he's a musical [[geinus]], evident with his hypothetical band [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] wherein he tunelessly wails over low-quality recordings of popular pop songs. However, because he doesn't know how to play an instrument, he feels the need to justify himself by claiming ''Guitar Hero'' gives him musical ability. We can only wonder what ''exactly'' was going through his head when he shredded with mad apathy in the notorious "[[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding Out for a Hero]]" music video (the song itself has no guitars), and wonder whether he can tell his "guitar" doesn't make any sounds besides plastic clacking in his cover of "[[100 2266|Don't Laugh at Me]]".

The ''Guitar Hero'' games, later entries in particular, base themselves around the idea that rock music can do anything, as seen in classic rock videos and album covers. Chris has seemingly taken inspiration from this for his comics, such as ''Sonichu'' #10, where he uses the Power of Rock to demolish the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building.

Chris has also developed a [[Chris and reality|completely groundless belief]] that standing on one leg and moving a little while playing ''Guitar Hero'' amounts to [[Chris and health|tremendous physical exercise]].<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_2</ref><ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref>

==GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes==
[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|right|This image was apparently worth $400.]]
The ''GameStop "Be a Star" Sweepstakes'' was a competition run by the video game retailer [[GameStop]] to promote ''Guitar Hero: World Tour'', which Chris entered around October [[2008]]. The competition required the entrants to send in a photograph of themselves in a "guitar hero pose", and people would vote in a poll to determine the best one, with the winner receiving a $400 GameStop gift certificate.

Rumors also circulated that the winner would star in ''Guitar Hero: World Tour''. Several [[trolls]] caught sight of Chris's entry and encouraged people to vote for him by posting on [[4-cent_garbage.com|/b/]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]], in hopes that gamers everywhere would help permanently mar Guitar Hero's legacy with Chris's fat autistic presence. These rumors however, proved to be incorrect.

Despite some disputes between trolls as well as some warnings to GameStop's management about what was transpiring, Chris went on to win the competition.

In his [[CWC Update 28 December 2008|28 December 2008 update]] he thanked his fans for voting for him, and announced that the $400 gift card would be shared with the congregation of his church. Chris ended up spending a little less than half on his congregation, buying them a copy of ''[[Animal Crossing]] City Folk'' ($50), plus two copies of ''Wii Music'' ($100) with a Wii Speak accessory ($30) for a grand total of $180. The remaining $220 went to himself.<ref>[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Chris's card game history (0:55:24–0:59:24)|Emily date, 03-19-09]] "Yeah, yeah, I spent it on myself. I got some Wii games for myself, Country Music and Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess." "Uh, no, it wasn't-it wasn't like 10 or 15, I'd say it's more like, uh, five or eight."</ref>

Although his victory is largely considered a major failure in trolling efforts, it did have the unintended side effect of [[Chris and his Ego|reaffirming]] Chris's [[Chris and reality|belief]] that he has a huge thriving [[True and Loyal Fanbase]]. This made trolling somewhat easier, as Chris was even more inclined to open up to his supposed legions of fans. Some trolls have used his victory in the contest as leverage to guilt him into doing things like giving interviews or drawing more [[comic]]s.

==Sonichu and Chris-chan in ''Guitar Hero World Tour''==
On 27 October [[2008]], Chris uploaded a video showing off the custom ''[[Sonichu]]'' crap that he added to the game. As in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], he portrays himself as thin and fit. While this is partly because that game doesn't have an "unpleasant, fat" character model, it would still be possible for Chris to give his in-game self some degree of huskiness if he had any sense of his personal appearance.

{{tinyquote|I've created the Sonichu Band Icon from scratch, as well as my Character and Guitar. Enjoy the further testaments of my capabilities and creativity in tune to Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker." Also, I am up in [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|the "Auditions" on Gamestop.com]]; please Vote for [[:Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|my Rockin' Picture]] to get me as a Playable Character with Sonichu & Rosechu in my Band in a Future Guitar Hero Game.|Original video description, 27 October 2008}}

==Bandmates==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|150px|Music is just another way to get [[china]] for Chris.]]
{{Main|CWCRockin4Way.jpg}}

Video games are no longer the passive form of entertainment they used to be--they're also a breeding ground for the creativity of the gamers. Like all enthusiastic gamers, Chris unleashes the full force of his creativity and puts a lot of thought into his video game play to get maximum satisfaction out of these games. Unfortunately, this is obviously not going to work as well as it does for some other, more gifted people.

''Guitar Hero'' games allow a great degree of fun but ultimately useless customization that doesn't actually help the game, such as creating virtual band members. In yet another feeble attempt to prove he's not a [[homo]], Chris's bandmates are all women, because what [[gal-pal|girl]] wouldn't want to jam with the [[Autism|artistic]] genius that is Christian Weston Chandler? He also picked some very odd names for these characters, with the [[Niggos|black one]] oddly getting a [[Michael Snyder|Jew]][[Chris and race|ish]] surname.

{{-}}

<center><gallery>
Image:ZuriAlryte.jpg|'''Zuri Alryte''': She ''may'' have a charming personality, but until she ''shows'' it, people will only remember the [[duck|waterfowl]]-up-the-skirt picture.
Image:KieraBei.jpg|'''Kiera Bei''': No doubt a lady of diverse emotions, ''all of them'' expressed ''at the same time'' on her face.
Image:JodyZimmerman.jpg|'''Jody Zimmerman''': Without the Rule 34 pic, we'd have no idea if she was even really a woman.
</gallery></center>

Though this might not seem too ridiculous at first glance, two facts make it worse. First, the first we heard of these bandmates was through a leaked Rule 34 picture. Among fiction writers, blatantly pornographic imagery is hardly considered the best way to introduce new characters to the world (though some may argue it's probably the most profitable). Chris drew himself having sex with these virtual women, and proceeded to make a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|video]] about it, announcing it as a testament to his straightness.

Secondly, he seems to be a little bit too preoccupied with the idea, to the point that people are starting to think he ''really believes'' he bonked these nonexistent chicks.

{{quote|Would I be having sex with 3 WOMEN?!|Chris, [[Chris and reality|forgetting ''Guitar Hero'' is a video game and those women are fictional]]}}

==See also==
*[[Gitar of Fail]]
*[[Chris and music]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://hub.guitarhero.com/profile-display?id=1588 His ''Guitar Hero'' stats.]

[[Category:Things bought with taxpayer money]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

The Incredible Lioness

2020-01-29T19:52:28Z

Rtucker913: She didn't remove her clothing on her own in Issue 11 (unless it was offscreen)

{{merge|Vamprosa}}

[[Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes feminism is.]]

{{quote|When feeling the [[Chris and anger|MOST Enraged]], MOST Distraught, MOST [[Stress]]ed Out beyond Belief, Rosechu will recollect why she is feeling this way, then she will transform into The Incredible Lioness|[[Cwcipedia]] article, looks like Chris has made a decent character who reflects on the world around them}}
{{quote|If her clothes are not nearby when she is fully recovered and rested, the poor woman will have to rush home as quickly as possible to clean up and put on clean clothes, or find some kind of material to make a set of makeshift clothes for the trek back home. |same paragraph, looks like Chris has made another [[rule 34]]}}

'''The Incredible Lioness''' was the horrifying form that [[Rosechu]] was given in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] originally to face-rape the comic incarnation of [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. Little information is given in the comic itself, but Chris gives further details on the [[CWCipedia]]. Seemingly analogous to [[Ultra Sonichu]], rather than gaining power from exposure to [[Sonichu Balls|Chaotic Crystals]], Rosechu simply gains tremendous strength through [[stress]] and [[Chris and anger|rage]], closer to [[Things Chris has ripped off|The Incredible Hulk]] than anything else; however, Chris most likely meant to rip off [[Sonic]]'s "Werehog" transformation from ''Sonic Unleashed''. Chris implies that because Rosechu is a [[women's rights|woman]] she can't control herself when she gets into a rage, and the only way to calm her is to tell her that she's pretty, or whatever Chris means by "make amends with deepest apologies, heavy flattery, and promising to do as she wishes".<ref name="Rosechu article">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu#.28Temporary_Transformation.29_The_Incredible_Lioness CWCipedia - The Incredible Lioness]</ref> However, in both appearances in the comic, she calms down without any intervention.. The transformation process also completely destroys her clothes; presumably she has to have the foresight to know she's about to go into a blind, unstoppable rage and remove the clothing, or just put on some makeshift clothes later. How and why her clothes are destroyed isn't clear as no part of the transformation involves anything that would damage clothing - she does not grow in size or change shape. Indeed, why clothes are such a concern for her in the first place is mystifying considering most of the Sonichus and Rosechus don't wear any clothing at all.

Chris also clarifies that only the True and Original Rosechu can transform.<ref name="Rosechu article" /><ref name="mail 10">[[Mailbag 10#God save the queen|Mailbag 10]]</ref> One could argue that this is due to Rosechu's parentage; according to Chris, she was sired by a [[Wikipedia:Luxray|Luxray]],<ref name="Rosechu article" /> a lion-esque type of [[Pokémon]]. Since this makes sense, it's highly unlikely that it was intended by him.

Amusingly, Chris appears to have traced Incredible Lioness's pose in her debut appearance from [[:File:Rosey_caesar.jpg|a piece of artwork of the heroic Godzilla series monster]], [https://wikizilla.org/wiki/King_Caesar King Caesar]. Considering Chris's relatively limited interests, it's more than likely that he simply found the original image somewhere on the internet and isn't familiar with the source material.

As you may have guessed, Chris created the Incredible Lioness in an attempt to show his support for [[women's rights]].

[[Image:TILCircus.jpg|thumb|Roll up! Roll up!]]

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==

In the climax of [[Episode 17]]: ''Rage Against The Garbage'', Rosechu and [[Sonichu]] travel to Floor 66+6 of [[4-cent_garbage.com]] to confront [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] about the [[ED]] page. Their main concern is the [[trolls|troll]] fan art of Rosechu with a [[duck]], which Sonichu innocently interprets as a simple misunderstanding. Jason outright refuses to take down the ED page, and brutally throws Sonichu to the floor. Rosechu reacts nonchalantly to this, and does not transform until, as the two leave, Jason has the audacity to throw a [[pickle]] at her.

It strikes her on the back of the head. She picks it up and crushes it in a fist, as her mind fills with thoughts of violence and bizarrely ominous feminist diatribes, glorifying the creative power of the ovary. In spite of this supposed respect for the female being, Rosechu goes on to strip completely naked, exposing her breasts and vagina in what Chris maintains is a comic intended for children. At this point, she becomes The Incredible Lioness.

The Lioness leaps at Jason with murder in her red eyes. In what may be the most hideously explicit violence in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] [[Sonichu 10|up to that point]], she wraps her legs around his head, so that her [[China|vagina]] is pressed against his face – a move which was [[Things Chris has ripped off#Kekko Kamen|probably copied]] from ''[[Anime|Kekko Kamen]]''. Then she tears a rip across his scalp, and bites down. In moments, Jason is near death (although dark forces keep him alive). Why this attack needed to involve Rosechu shoving her vagina into Jason's face is unclear. Rosechu then reverts to standard form, close to fainting from her outrageous exertion.

==[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]==
After the [[Moon]] releases an energy wave, Rosechu transforms into the Incredible Lioness in her backyard after picking up a Sonichite stone. For an unexplained reason, she isn't enraged when transformed. Also, she's [[Nudes|nude]]. In front of her three children. Rosechu is surprised by this, and rushes inside to get a new pair of clothes.

==References==
<references />

==See also==

*[[Rosechu]]
*[[Vamprosa]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
*[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu#.28Temporary_Transformation.29_The_Incredible_Lioness The Incredible Lioness' original article on the CWCipedia]
{{Template:Sonichu}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Incredible Lioness}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]

Chris Drops the N-Bomb

2020-01-27T00:54:41Z

Rtucker913: /* Video */ As per the policy, anytime Chris drops her name it is allowed to be faithfully transcribed.

{{Honest}}
'''Chris Drops the N-Bomb''' (officially posted as '''100_2151.MOV''') is a video uploaded on 17 [[March 2010]], where [[Chris]] sends yet another gory [[death threat]] and uses the dreaded N-word at [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]. It is believed that this video was the reason that [[Jack Thaddeus]] pulled all of his funding from the [[CWCipedia]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris once again drops the name of [[the Wallflower]]. His actual explicit and complete usage of a racial slur, though, was very unexpected; the closest he had previously come was [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|singing not to trust gays with a "nigga finga at the trigga!"]], a bastardization of a song from ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]'' that was a favorite of [[Julie]]'s, and also when [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into saying it during their [[Julie Reveals Herself|final conversation]], where it took Chris several tries to get the word out (the best he could manage on his first attempt was, infamously, "[[niggo]]").

It's well-known that [[Chris and race|Chris harbors racist feelings]], but they're not usually expressed so bluntly. The release of the [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]] on 18 March 2010, however, revealed that Chris has apparently grown quite fond of using the word as an insult.

Granting another element of lunacy to the video is the fact that there has never been any suggestion that Tito is black, nor any reason for Chris to think so. Tito is ethnically Hawaiian, as is the [[Wikipedia:Rocket Power#Characters|cartoon character that shares his namesake]].

{{clear}}

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2151.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|4orHqL-b968}}
| stardate = 17 [[March 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}
| shirt = {{TanWideLines|text}}
| previous = [[Happy Sonichu Day]]
| next = [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV]]
}}

{{quote|You Goddamn womanizing, raping...[[troll]]in' stupid, [[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle-suited]]...NIGGER!}}

=== Transcript ===

Tito! You stay away from Heather, you son of a bitch. You have no right taking her from me like that, you [[Women's rights|womanizing]] [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|rapist]]! And if you go near her again, then I ''will'' find you! I will find you, I will [[Pocket knife|cut you up]], I will [[CWC Fighter|beat you up]], I will knock you on your backside, [[Chris and reality|stand on your gut like a log roller, and blow your fat right through your skull! Blowin' it wide open!]]

Because that's what you deserve, you Goddamn womanizing, raping...trollin' stupid, pickle-suited...{{rageQuote|NIGGER!}}

And don't you ever, don't you dare contact me in my [[Surfshack Tito E-mails|E-mail]] again, or contact me ever! You stay away from me- You stay away from me and contact. Don't call me... I ''will'' find ''you''! [''flips off camera'']

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = YOU...YOU...DOUBLE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yUhYPbcF2CU}}
| Stardate = 18 [[March 2010]]
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type = Remix
| Other Info =
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan's Chris Drops the N-Bomb Reversed
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wut-7wyWYxg}}
| stardate = 08 [[October 2017]]
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuObAUCueXDNZpyhljfQ_kQ Craig Smith]
| subject =
| type =
| info = The N-bomb, reversed
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Happy Sonichu Day]]|nextlink=[[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV]]|}}

{{Troll Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2010| 2010-03-17]]
[[Category:Surfshack Tito Saga videos| 2010-03-17]]

Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder

2020-01-26T06:48:42Z

Rtucker913: /* Other cards */

{{quote|Win this Goal when: Chris Chan is Shipped with Christine Chan|Or in other words, go fuck yourself.<ref>[[:File:CWCIsPronouncedAsQuick.jpg]]</ref>}}

{{quote|to Everyone: Be GLAD I am actually making towards availability “canon” Sonichu Merchandise by mine, and Magi-Chan’s, Efforts and Work. The [[Sonichu (comic)|Books]] Will Continue, Obviously. BUT Enjoy what will be something More Awesome to Play with your friends.

Shut Up, Haters. ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris demonstrates his customer service skills towards people who wanted more ''Sonichu'' comics instead of his homemade Shipfic cards.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1183217772429529089</ref>}}

[[Image:SonichuTCG.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and Rosechu attempting to understand the magnitude of this card game's [[autism]].]]

'''Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder''' or '''TSSSF''' is a fan-made ''[[My Little Pony]]'' [[trading card game]] that satirizes the [[Internet]] phenomena known as [[wikipedia:Shipping (fandom)|shipping]]. Unsurprisingly, Chris has latched onto this card game, presumably learning about it at [[BronyCon#2019|BronyCon 2019]], and has produced a number of original cards for the game based off of his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' characters and those of others, not unlike his [[Wall of Originals]]. Like his attempts at making [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] cards, his custom TSSSF cards have lost sight of the original game's mechanics and have simply become another creative medium for Chris. He has created well over 129 cards so far, with countless more seen in the numerous spreads on Twitter and in [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder Livestreams|Youtube videos]].

==Card production==
Chris simply uses a template linked from the website of the official TSSSF page.<ref>https://latent-logic.github.io/TSSSF-Frontend/#v1:AoewdgngBlC2CGAbApgM2QlBCArmAlgMYgBOYMFA7sgEYC0A5ictAOoCiAQgAQDCAggCUAIgG5uAFQDKMgGLcaEbgAlSJfDRTdgyEAActAcXixkAZwB03bvxIAXBUoCqYANZgQlMBaA=</ref> Consequentially, the card types (meant for pony characters) do not match the subject matter of most of Chris's Sonichu recolor cards and instead have types shoehorned in (such as Sonichu being typed as Earth Pony). For the physical cards, Chris uses a website called [https://www.makeplayingcards.com/ Make Playing Cards.com] or MPC, a print on demand site similar to [[lulu]] but excursively for custom trading cards.<ref>https://youtu.be/qaMATKz3eQg?t=313</ref><ref>https://www.makeplayingcards.com/sell/marketplace/chris-chan-sonichu-expansion.html</ref>

==List of cards==
===Sonichus===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:MagiChanColoring2.jpg|150px]]
| Magi-Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| A Bit of Psychic Power (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to three Pony cards on the grid.
| "You think you can just ship me with anyone? I ship myself with my [[Polyamorous marriage|loved ones]], my [[Sweetheart|allies and friends]], and my [[Sarah Hammer|neighbors]]."
| 16 [[August 2019]]
|-
| [[Image:MagiChanColoring3.jpg|150px]]
| Telekinesis
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this goal when: You move, swap or remove a minimum of four Ponies on, or from, the board during a single turn.
| "Your [[Slow-in-the-minds|mind]] is a most valuable asset; keep it clear and calm with a meditation and deep breaths."
| 16 August 2019
|-
| [[Image:MagiChanColoring4.jpg|150px]]
| Live, From His Subspace, Magi-Chan Sonichu
| Start
| Male, Alicorn
| Place this card in the center of the table at the start of the game. This card cannot be moved or removed from the grid. [[Chris and English|This is power cannot be copied.]]
| [[The Classic|"Classic."]]
| 19 August 2019
|-
| [[File:A Wild Sonichu (Male).jpg|150px]]
| A Wild Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Quick Attack (Special): After playing this card onto the grid, you may swap it with another Pony card on the grid.
| Pokemon Number 982: The evolved form of Sonee. After being exposed to the Chaos Emeralds Energies, a Pikachu transformed into Sonichu. It can collect electric energy from the air while running. A wild Sonichu caught by a trainer brings chaotically good luck -Pokedex
| 10 September 2019
|-
| [[File:A Wild Sonichu (Female).jpg|150px]]
| A Wild Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Thundershock(New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| Pokemon Number 982: The evolved form of Sonee. After being exposed to the Chaos Emeralds Energies, a Pikachu transformed into Sonichu. It can collect electric energy from the air while running. A wild Sonichu caught by a trainer brings chaotically good luck -Pokedex
| 10 September 2019
|-
| [[File:AWildRosechu (Female).jpg |150px]]
| A Wild Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Thunderbolt (Special): If this card is shipped with a Villain, you may discard that Pony card from the grid and play a Pony card from your hand in its place. This Power cannot be copied.
| Pokemon Number 979: The evolved form of Rosie. Rosechu was a Raichu that was transformed by the Chaotic Rainbow. Very resiliant [sic] and versetile [sic]; [[Attraction Sign|they attract everyone around them]]. Zapbuds are their favorite flowers. -Pokedex
| 10 September 2019
|-
| [[File:AWildRosechu (Male).jpg|150px]]
| A Wild Rosechu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Charge (Draw): You may draw 1 card from the Ship or Pony deck.
| Pokemon Number 979: The evolved form of Rosie. Rosechu was a Raichu that was transformed by the Chaotic Rainbow. Very resiliant [sic] and versetile [sic]; they attract everyone around them. Zapbuds are their favorite flowers. -Pokedex
| 10 September 2019
|-
| [[Image:MagiChanCard.jpg|150px]]
| Magi-Chan
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| I Realize There is Another Magi-Chan Card In This Deck (Special): You may choose to play a Pony card from the Pony discard pile instead of this card. This power cannot be copied.
| I was one of the leading Special Sonichus from the chaotic Rainbow, not to mention the wisest and eldest. I, Magi-Chan Sonichu, hatched in Cerulean City's cave in 1948 mentored by the one-and-only Mewtwo, mastered my powers and abilities, traversed throughout time, space and dimensions in all directions. I am also the Guardian over the Sonichu and Rosechu Species, as well as our leading deity,-in-development, Chris Chan Sonichu.
| 14 September 2019
|-
| [[Image:NewMagiChanCard1.jpg|150px]]
| Soul of Magi-Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Reincarnation (Special): If this card is moved discarded or removed from the grid, this card may become a blank Ship card for the next Pony card entering the grid. This power cannot be copied.
| I have mastered perfect soul projection in any and all situations, including perfect reincarnation where I never lose my memory or recall at all. There are times when I'll need to leave and meditate in the cosmos and visit other distant areas for an amount of time, so I'll leave my body under good and safe care, or if need be, left for dead. I never lose my genetic makeup at all either.
| 18 September 2019
|-
| [[Image:MetonicVamprosaCards2.jpg|150px]]
| Vamprosa
| Pony
| Female, Pegasus
| Dark Pulse (Swap): You may swap 2 Pony cards on the shipping grid.
| Pokemon Number 980: The evolved form of Rosechu. Its bite can suck the life out of its enemies. Its cape gives it the ability to fly. When feeling peckish, they typically enjoy fruit, though they are not stranger to meat. -Pokedex
| 18 September 2019
|-
| [[Image:MetonicVamprosaCards3.jpg|150px]]
| Metonic
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Slashing Blade (Special): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Villain from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| Pokemon Number 983: The evolved form of Sonichu Metonic's armor adds weight, so it can't perform a Spin Dash, but its speed stays, the same, and its spikes are diamond-sharp and durable. -Pokedex
| 18 September 2019
|-
| [[Image:Patreoncard3.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu & Rosey
| Pony
| Male or Female, Earth Pony
| This card counts as 2 Ponies. May count as either ♂ or ♀ for all Goals, Ships, and powers. Combined Sparks (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping frid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| With Sonichu and Rosey together, their combined powers and skills can outwit the most cunning of villain and foe.
| 6 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Oct15card.jpg|150px]]
| Fourth Wall-Breakin' Sonichu
| Start
| Male, Earth Pony
| Place this card in the center of the table at the start of the game. This card cannot be moved or removed from the grid. Once per turn, if a Pony card is discarded or removed from the grid that would break up a full set of four ships around it, you may move this card to the position of the previous card to replace it. This power cannot be copied.
| N/A
| 15 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Zapinacard.jpg|150px]]
| Zapina
| Pony
| Female, Pegasus
| Flashlight Stinger (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| Born in the forest, alongside her BFF, Simonla Rosey, Zapina tried to follow Simonla as she was mentored, but her digging skills were lacking. Her light became obvious, so she would light the underground passageways for Simonla. Zapina was also mentored by a wild Bugzapp and a Beedrill. Zapina is a can-do, [[I'm workin' on it|gotta get-the-job-done]] type of gal and really full of energy and pep. She sets her mind on something, it sets there.
| 17 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Sterbenchucard.jpg|150px]]
| Sterbenchu
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| This card counts as 3 Ponies. Double Team (Special): You may swap this Pony card with anohter on the grid. If you do, the swapped Pony card gains the Sonichu, Special and Clow Keywords. This power cannot be copied.
| The Special Sonichu may look like a redesigned Super Sonic (and he is), but it's not totally his fault, as many, many people have done this before in making ther own Sonichu plushes or art; real twist of fate. Sterbenchu is essentially a basic Sonichu (With electric attacks and speed), without the Chaos Power-ups, but he can Clone Himself near infinitely.
| 18 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Robertchucard.jpg|150px]]
| Robertchu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| [[WTJU Marathon|Jazzy Classic Tune]] (copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. is Chris Chan Sonichu's biological father of Dimension 1218. He was very well-educated and well-read; his specialties are in technology, spec-designs and music. He served in the US Army stationed in the Signal Corp during the Korean War, and was employed by General Electric for 25-plus years. He transitioned into his Sonichu Form in late 2016 in C-197. He is helping out at the Cwcville Bassilicom and in battle.
| 18 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Cryzelcard.jpg|150px]]
| Dimension Portal-Opening Cryzel Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Warp Zone, Act 2 (Special): When this card is placed on the grid, you may swap this card with another Pony card on the shipping grid.
| From the C-197 side of the Dimensional Iron Curtain upstairs in Chris Chan's old room, Cryzel Rosechu opens a portal that goes from inside the small closet, to the entrance to Chris Chan's bedroom downstairs in 1218 side. On a "Portal Open" call from Chris Chan in most anywhere, she can open a portal to anywhere in anydimension [sic] as she needs and pleases.
| 18 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Patti-Chancard.jpg|150px]]
| Patti-Chan
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Howling Luck (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| Weilding [sic] her wand, Patti helps defend the city of Cwcville with her swift ferocity and prowless [sic]. She was bestowed magic from a lucky five leaf clover she ate under the shining moonlight in Chris Chan's backyard in Dimension 1218 in 2006. A very kind and loyal companion and warrior, she will always do her best for everyone and herself.
| 21 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Metal Gear Sonichu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Metal Gear]] Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Silently Swift and Shockingly Deadly (Special): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place, then discard another Pony card from the grid as well. This power cannot be copied.
| During times of heavy war, Sonichu will put on bullet-proof vests, pants, boots and thick goves [sic] in camouflage colours. His tactics are light-speed and silent. He will only use his [[Megatron pistol|firearms]] when his cover is blown, but that does not often happen with him on the field.
| 25 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Soldier of War Rosey Rosechu.jpg|150px]]
| Soldier of War Rosey Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Guns a-Blazin' (Replaced): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| During the times when there is a major war fight, Rosey answers the call, Heaviest Thunderbolts and lightning-formed artillery on-hand and at the ready. When her lightning forms machine guns, the bullets miraculously take on a metal form when shot, making each shot really count. For Our Freedom in Cwcville and the World!!!
| 25 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:RobertchuBackHome.jpg|150px]]
| Robertchu Back at Home
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Honey, I'm Home (Draw): You may draw 1 card from the Ship or Pony deck.
| Every once in a while, Mister C runs back home to offer comfort to Barbara. Before the Dimension Merge's completion, she has missed him everyday, and found the solace and comfort when he comes by. He continues to carry a torch for her in his heart and soul while he helps to protect everyone in Cwcville and at this old temple of a house.
| 1 [[November 2019]] (leaked)
|-
| [[Image:MeditatingSylvanaRosechu.jpg|150px]]
| Meditating Sylvana Rosechu
| Pony
| Male or Female, Alicorn
| May count as either (Male) or (Female) for all goals, ships and powers. Psychu Up (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for | card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Meditating in the bedroom while Chris Chan is at work. Sylvana Rosechu overlooks the surrounding areas, near and farthest, between both dimensions and checks the premonitions to confirm the events remain in proper sequence as they progress.
| 1 November 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:ZelinaCard.jpg|150px]]
| Zelina
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Mystic Archery (Replace): While this card is in your hand, , you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| Born in Hyrule and cared for and by Princess Zelda, her ladies in waiting, as well as the knights. Zelina had become a skilled archer and swordfighter, and very well-read and educated in the highest manner. When the neighboring country had lost its monarch with no heir to the throne, Zelda offered Zelina the job of being its Princess and ruler. She accepted, and [[Rulecwc]] was made and ran very well under Zelina's rule.
| 2 November 2019
|-
| [[File:DarkbindCard.jpg|150px]]
| Darkbind
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Electric Slash (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| Born in Hyrule, and cared for and trained by the knights under the order of Princess Zelda, over many, many years of sword fights and most courageous quests and battles, he had leveled up to where he can rival Link, himself on equal footing. He would go on to become the head knight under Princess Zelina Rosechu in the neightboring kingdom of [[Rulecwc]]. He keeps his mind open, clear and sharp, as the wind of fate show him the path he must follow in his quests.
| 2 November 2019
|-
| [[File:MegaWildCard.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Wild Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Pegasus
| When Wild would be discarded from the grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in his place. Vines of Razor Leaves (Special): You may take up to five Pony cards from the discard pile and replace that number of Pony cards on the grid. This power cannot be copied.
| When Wild Sonichu Mega Evolves, his tail becomes as long as he is tall, and he can bounce off of, and glide in the high skies with his tail. In this time of flight, he can snipe and take out his foes with faster-than-light flying durable and sharpest of leaves and vine thorns.
| 14 November 2019
|-
| [[File:MegaBubblesCard.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Bubbles Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| When Bubbles would be discarded from the grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in his place. Hydro Waves (Special): Until the end of the turn, All other Pony cards on the grid, including new incoming Pony cards, become Ω. This power cannot be copied.
| When Bubbles Rosechu Mega Evolves, her quills transform into total water, so she has a hair of flowing water, solid and transparent. Her water pressure power can go up to the strongest water pressures possible upon her foes.
| 14 November 2019
|-
| [[File:MegaAngelicaCard.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Angelica Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| When Angelica would be discarded from the gird, play this card from your hand or discard pile in his place. [[Chris and religion|Holy Messiah]] (Special): Until the end of the turn, All other Pony cards on the grid, including new incoming Pony cards, become [pegasus symbol]. This power cannot be copied.
| When Angelica Rosechu Mega Evolves, she becomes uber enlightened and gains the Psychic typing; everyone around her looks upon her in awe, like the highest level deity has emerged from the Cosmos to bless them all this very day with recovered health and divine interventions. She Really Glows.
| 14 November 2019
|-
| [[File:MegaPunchyCard.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Punchy Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| When Angelica [sic] would be discarded from the grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in his place. [[Tard rage|All-Out Pummeling]] (Special): Discard up to 10 Pony cards with the Villain and/or Changeling keywords from the shipping grid. This power cannot be copied, and cannot be activated when swapped.
| When Punchy Sonichu Mega Evolves, he channels the auras of the other past and present combat warriors and fighters in all existance. In this form, he can even rival [[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] in his highest level Super saiyan forms.
| 14 November 2019
|-
| [[File:UltraSonichuCard.jpg|150px]]
| Ultra Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| When Sonichu, with the Prime keyword would be discarded from the shipping grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in his place. Chaos Control! (Special): Swap up to all of the other Pony cards on the shipping grid. This power cannot be copied.
| When Sonichu (Prime) is exposed to the power of he seven Chaos Emeralds, he becomes Ultra Sonichu. To the touch of his aura and fur, insanely powered-up, his foes and adversaries get an insta-kill, unless we're talking a [[Obese|Really large]] foe, or one that is also over-powered, then it will take a few hits from him.
| 17 November 2019
|-
| [[File:RoseyLionessCard.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Rosey Rosechu (The Lioness)
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| When Rosey, with the Prime keyword would be discarded from the shipping grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in her place. Hear Me Roar!!! (Special): You may swap this card on the grid, and then discard up to five Pony cards from the shipping grid. This power cannot be copied.
| When a Rosechu Mega Evolves, it becomes a Lioness type. Ferocious and even more agile, it can even shred massive stones and steel beams into shards with their electrified claws. To keep their clothes from getting ripped apart in the Mega Evolution, they must be removed before Evolving.
| 17 November 2019
|-
| [[File:SilverBlakeCard.jpg|150px]]
| Silver Blake Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| When Blake would be discarded, play this card from your hand or discard pile in his place. Spacial Bolts (Special): You may discard up to three Villains from the shipping grid. This power cannot be copied.
| When Blake Sonichu Mega Evolves, His powers become more aggressive. In his battles, he still maintains his focus and mind. He is able into insta-teleport and appear behind his foes to take them out in a single sweep. He can also divide his electric energy so a single thunderbolt can strike in a hundred or so locations upon his foes.
| 17 November 2019
|-
| [[File:MegaMagiChanCard.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Magi-Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| When Magi-Chan would be discarded, play this card from your hand or discard pile in his place. Premonition Insight (Special): For the rest of the game, play with 6 Goal cards face up. This power cannot be copied.
| When Magi-Chan Sonichu Mega Evolves, it is like a divine intervention moment for eveyone in the area. His psychic powers get a massive boost, even a bit more powerful than Mega Mewtwo Y's psychic power. He brings instant insight and wisdoms to everyone with good intentions in their hearts that lasts as long as he is Mega Evolved.
| 17 November 2019
|-
| [[File:DJPon-SonichuCard.jpg|150px]]
| DJ Pon-Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Droppin' The Bass (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| For the family on [[Halloween]] 2017, Sonichu dressed up as Vinyl Scratch, and he showed off well that he could rock it!
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[File:OctaviaRoseyCard.jpg|150px]]
| Octavia Rosey
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Stringing the Bow (Copy): You may draw 1 card from the Ship or Pony deck.
| For the family on Halloween, 2017, Rosey dressed up as Octavia Melody. Rosey doesn't play the cello, but she still does enhoy classical music, in addition to Dubstep and J-Pop.
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[File:RobertaDash.jpg|150px]]
| Roberta Dash
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Rainbow Streaks]] (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| For the family on Halloween, 2017, Roberta dressed up as Rainbow Dash; [[Chris and English|obvious and very 20% Cooler choice than most other getups]]. Maybe Rainbow and Roberta can make a simultaneous Sonichu Rainboom together sometime.
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[File:CeraJackCard.jpg|150px]]
| CeraJack
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Zap Apples (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| For the family on Halloween, 2017, Cera dressed up as Applejack. During the outing, she found a full apple tree. She gave it a [[PSEye|swift punch], and every one of them in her tote bag.
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[File:ChristineSparkleCard.jpg|150px]]
| Christine Sparkle
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Magical Experiment (Special): You may add a Keyword of your choice (except Pony names), change the Race, or change the Gender of one Pony card this one is shipped with.
| For the family on Halloween, 2017, Christine dressed up as (Science) Twilight Sparkle. Sense of style, aside, Christine sparkled as she strutted her stuff and danced like a nerd.
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[File:LegoSonichuCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Lego]] Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Mach-Speed Master Building (Special): You may draw 2 cards from the Ship and/or Pony deck.
| From the Lego Dimension, Sonichu rises to protect and defend the locals and his friends and family in Cwcville, there, from the brick-shattering foes.
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[File:LegoRosechuCard.jpg|150px]]
| Lego Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Thunderbuild (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| From the Lego Dimension, Rosey rises to protect and defend the locals and his friends and family in Cwcville, there, from the brick-shattering foes.
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[File:MediatingMagi-ChanSonichuCard.jpg|150px]]
| Meditating Magi-Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Miracle Eye (Special) Special): While this card is in your hand, you may look at your opponent's hand, pick a ship card you find there and play it with this card. This power cannot be copied.
| Meditating in the bedroom while Chris Chan is at work, Magi-Chan Sonichu broadens the connection between Dimensions 1218 and C-197 to make it easier for traversing between them with Chris Chan, Barbara, and everyone else within. Chris Chan is also in constant meditation and psychic link as her magic, powers and abilities continues to strengthen and develop.
| 22 November 2019 (Leaked)
|-
| [[Image:drsterbenchucard.jpg|150px]]
| Doctor Sterbenchu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| [[Hormone treatment|Prescribing Some Medicine]] (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Sterbenchu is a fully-educated, fully-trained PhD in all biologies of species, including humans, Pokemon, Digimon, and so forth. He also helped Christine Chan in her transitioning from male to female by balancing out her human genetics and hormones. He is able to do the operation, but he is more a general and family doctor. And when the backup generator's power goes out or is lost, he can light up the hospital instantly with a full recharge.
| 21 November 2019
|-
| [[Image:perceptorcard.jpg|150px]]
| Perceptor
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| IQ of 500 and Wisdom Sense (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| Perceptor is the most intelligent of [[Slow in the minds|Everyone Else]], even moreso than Eggman's 300 IQ. She learned everything there is to know throughout all of time, space and dimenions [sic] from her psychic mentors. Her mission is to Inspire, Teach and encourage Sound Reasoning and Thinking in Everyone, except our enemies.
| 21 November 2019
|-
| [[Image:Ogsonichucard.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Extremespeed (Special): You may draw 3 cards from the Ship or Pony deck or a combination between the two.
| "I like yellow. It's vibrant, bright, and even flashy in the dark Even my fur is yellow. But blue is calming; I look up at the clear, blue sky on a good day, I feel free. Like I'll be able to do awesome things. Even make a dark sky blue again with a break in the lightning." -Sonichu" Book #15
| 23 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Mega Simonla Rosechu.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Simonla Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| When Simonla would be discarded from the shipping grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in her place. Earthquake (Special): Discard up to three Ship cards from the shipping grid. This power cannot be copied.
| When Simonla Rosechu Mega Evolves, she gains massiver physical strength and defensive endurance, also her quills are [[Knife|seriously sharp]] to the touch. In this form, she can dig tunnels at almost light-speed, even through stone and mountains.
|-
| [[File:Mega Sylvana Rosechu.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Sylvana Rosechu
| Pony
| [[Transgender|Male or Female]], Alicorn
| When Sylvana would be discarded from the shipping grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in her place. Psychic Transformations (Special): You may select a Sonichu or Rosechu from the Pony discard pile and replace a Villain on the shipping grid with it. This power cannot be copied.
| [Archivist's Note: Yes, Chris forgot to change the flavor text from the Mega Simonal card] When Simonla Rosechu Mega Evolves, she gains massive physical strength and defensive endurance, also her quills are seriously sharp to the touch. In this form, she can dig tunnels at almost light-speed, even through mountains.
|
|-
|}

===[[My Little Pony]]===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:ChrisNewArt1.jpg|150px]]
| Hanging With Past Friends
| Ship
| Heart
| You may choose to play the top card of the Pony discard pile with this Ship, rather than play a Pony card from your hand.
| Years after Nightstar accidentally slipped forward in time as a filly, she mastered her time spells and went back to live the years she missed. She was good friends with the Mane seven of the "Second Generation". She delighted with enlightening the group with her wisdom and sharing in their moments. In this moment, she was telling Clover of how she is capable of making her own good luck.
| 15 September 2019
|-
| [[Image:Patreoncard6.jpg|150px]]
| Waiting in Line
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| "I said, how about this line for Zap Apple Jam?", said Kun Hanhphuc. "Oh! Yes. It is a long line, but I'm getting more apples. ...I'm Nightstar", she replied. "Nice to meet you. I'm Kun Hanhphuc." "Kun Han..." "It's Vietnamese for Happiness." "Oh! Have you been to Vietnam?" "No. My father named me after an old friend of his from there." -"Sonichu" book 12-9
| 6 October 2019
|-
| [[File:GigiCard.jpg|150px]]
| Gigi On The Town
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Meet Me Singin' In Ihe Rain In St. Louis (Bound): Whenever this card would be moved on the shipping grid, select a Pony card and the ship card attached to it; that pony remains shipped with this card. This does not apply to discard rules. If the destination has a full set of Pony cards around it, this card cannot be moved.
| This musical pony loves to sing and breaks out into song at the proper moments. She was inspired by MGM classic movies like "Singin' in the Rain", "On the Town", "Meet Me in St. Louis", and even "Gigi". She has a song in her heart.
| 5 November 2019
|-
| [[File:PrincessTwilightCard.jpg|150px]]
| Princess Twilight Sparkle of the Round Table of Friendship
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Royal Command (copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| After saving Equestria of Triek, Chrysalis, Cozy Glow and Grogar, Twilight Sparkle ascended as one of the rules [sic] over Equestria. With her friends, she assembled the Round Table of Friendship, where the lot of them meet, plan and work out what the next step of the job ought to be. Celestia and Luna continue to rule alongside Princess Twilight Sparkle, but maintain free time for themeselves.
| 6 November 2019
|-
| [[File:PrinceSpikeCard.jpg|150px]]
| Prince Spike of the Round Table of Friendship
| Pony
| Male, Pegasus
| We're Not Flawless (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| Spike found his own ascension. In a day when everyone was being heavily divided up, because everyone was not accepting each other, Spike ended up being the one to save the day by being accepting of each and every individual he talked with. Soon after talking with everyone, Spike started glowing, and everyone was inspired to be accepting of each other.
| 6 November 2019
|-
| [[File:PrincessAppleJackCard.jpg|150px]]
| Princess Applejack of the Round Table of Friendship
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| [[True and Honest|Honesty]] (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| In only what can be called the Day of a Thousand Truths, Everyone from Ponyville to Canterlot, to the Crystal Empire, and then some, began suffering from serious doubt in each other, and they all started lying to each other and everyone. Only Applejack was able to round up everyone and get them each to tell at least one truth, even if it was a lie. After getting at least a thousand creatures to tell the truth to heal them, Applejack ascended and became an Alicorn, and her first burst of magic healed all of Equestria of this heavy shroud of doubts and fears.
| 6 November 2019
|-
| [[File:PrincessRainbowDashCard.jpg|150px]]
| Prince Rainbow Dash of the Round Table of Friendship
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Band Together (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| All across Equestria, one day, [[True and Loyal Fanbase|Loyalty]] had become scarce; eveyone ended up becoming selfish and aloof; friendly groups had disbanded recklessly, Rainbow Dash had to make everyone see what they all have in common goal and view. It would take more than a Sonic Rainboom to mend this mess. She talked to everyone, lured and forced them back together to listen. As she stood proud and tall as she spoke, a bright rainbow of light shone from her, and she became an Alicorn, and a new inspiration of Loyalty to everyone.
| 6 November 2019
|-
| [[File:PrincessFluttershyCard.jpg|150px]]
| Princess Fluttershy of the Round Table of Friendship
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Love Conquers Hate (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| One day, everyone was Trolling and Hating on each other; this was massive; even the animals were prone to the dark magic that loomed this day. Fluttershy did what she could to continue to be kind to others, even if they wre being mean and cruel to her. And then she had to smack some sense into everyone out of tough love, and in doing so, she ascended and became an Alicorn; her kindness burst out across Equestria, resoring everyone to being kind again.
| 6 November 2019
|-
| [[File:PrincessPinkieCard.jpg|150px]]
| Prince Pinkie Pie of the Round Table of Friendship
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Sonic Pinkieboom (Special): All Pony cards shipped with this one gain the Hero keyword.
| Another day, all of Equestra suddenly became sullen and depressed, some of the ponies started contemplating suicide, but none of them could go through with it. To Pinkie Pie, this was like looking into a mirror at pinkamina. She remebered the Sonic Rainboom. So, she took as many balloons as she could, shone them in front of the largest light around, and made a rainbow. Everyone started to smile. And then, Pinkie was teleported miles up, becoming an Alicorn, and then making her own Sonic Rainboom.
| 6 November 2019
|-
| [[File:PrincessRarityCard.jpg|150px]]
| Prince Rarity of the Round Table of Friendship
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Lovely, Dahling (2-Draw): You may draw 2 cards from the Ship and/or Pony deck.
| One day suddenly everyone all over Equestria became most greedy and selfish; not sharing with anyone at all. Rarity had to solve this the only way she can; she gave to as many as possible, and then encouraged them to give to each other; this took a lot of coercing, [[Creepy stare|glares]] and charm, but she managed. When Rarity was feeling weak, one of them gave to her, and then she glowed and became an Alicorn, inspiring generosity upon eveyone.
| 6 November 2019
|-
| [[File:GaryStufCard.jpg|150px]]
| Gary Stu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| I'm Gary Stu, and I know what to do (Special): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, including powers that cannot be copied, except for pony cards with the changeling keyword.
| Here he is, everyone: the one-and-only Gary Stu. "Hey, Everyone! I simply can't go wrong. I've had my troubles at first, but I swiftly recovered and picked up on local etiquette. But, I would not be whereI am without my beloved Mary Sue. I have to say: where is Mary's TSSSF card? Hey, Methvan, can we have a card of our Mary, please?! I know what to do! I'm Gary Stu!"
| 11 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Orioncard.jpg|150px]]
| Orion
| Pony
| Male, Pegasus
| [[Chris and magic|Wicca Powers]] (Special): You may draw 2 cards from the Ship and/or Pony deck.
| Orion looks at Crypt Wing, and asks him, "How trippy is the feeling of magic when your soarin' [[Wacky Tobacky|super high]]? My homebrews to make unicorn magic a thing with me has been super successful and awesome! Oh! I'm making this cup levitate now!"
| 17 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Cryptwingcard.jpg|150px]]
| Crypt Wing
| Pony
| Male, Pegasus
| Sniffin' The Trail (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into you hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| "Dude! That's so Awesome!", replies Crypt Wing. "I wonder if it would count if your levitated that cup from the ground, then flew upward with it in your mental grasp. Would that mean you can literally lift objects sky-high?" Feeling doggy, Crypt sniffs the air and barks a couple of times.
| 17 November 2019
|-
| [[File:DiscordSoniRosechuCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Wikipedia:Discord (My Little Pony)|Discord]] SoniRosechu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Discorded Chaotic Bolt (Special): When you play this card onto the grid, you may choose a Pony or Start card on the grid; until the end of your turn, that card gets all of its original Keywords cleared, then replaced with Edible, Lightning, and [[Wikipedia:Chocolate Rain|Chocolate Rain]]. This power cannot be copied.
| "Oh! Why limit myself to be a Sonichu or a Rosechu, when I can be the combination of both of the same gender. "Oh, look at me! I'm faster than Lightning! Watch me Zap It Up in my home dimension; Zapping Booms all over the place! Hoo-Hoo!" -Discord
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Fluttercoracard.jpg|150px]]
| Fluttercora
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony or Pegasus
| This card counts as 2 Ponies. Healing Rhyme (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Feeling recovered, Zecora was most grateful for Fluttershy retrieving the honey and herbs she needed. Fluttershy told Zecora of how worried she was over her. In many an appreciation that is not amiss, Zecora hushed Fluttershy, and leaned in for a [[Sex|cuddle]] and a kiss.
| 12 December 2019
|-
| [[File:Dimensionally Running Nightstar Sonichu.jpg|150px]]
| Dimensionally-Running Nightstar Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Breaking The Iron Curtains (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| Between her Sonichu, Unicorn and Psychic abilities, Nightstar can run through any Dimensional Barrier into the neighboring dimensions and timelines at conscious focus.
|
|-
| [[File:Mega Nightstar Sonichu.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Nightstar Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| When Nightstar would be discarded from the shipping grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in her place. Zap Heart Fusion (Special): Draw the top half number of cards from the Pony and Ship discard piles. This power cannot be copied.
| When Nightstar Mega Evolves, her psychic power and unicorn magic get even more overpowered. She can open multiple portals to many dimensions and send her foes flying and packing. She is also able to speed up her own body soo fast that to her, everyone and everthing else around her is on pause and stopped. To them, it's an eye blink.
|
|-
|}

===[[Transformers]]===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:MegatronTakedownCard.jpg|150px]]
| Megatron Takedown
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal When: While an Autobot is shipped with a Decepticon, the Decepticon is removed or discarded from the grid.
| In a battle against the Decepticons, [[Son-Chu]] bested Megatron a few times. This one event, Megatron was in Cwcvilled, looking to steal the energy from Sabrina's Sharicite Crystal, but after a good number of hits on Megatron with Son-Chu's lightning-infused blade, and a blast to the sholder, Megatron sounded the retreat and fled.
| 28 November 2019
|-
| [[Image:IsThisMyBodyorYoursCard.jpg|150px]]
| Is This My Body or Yours?
| Ship
| Heart
| Swap the positions of the two Pony cards attached to this ship. At the end of your turn, if neither of the affected Pony cards have been remobed from the shipping grid, swap the two affected Pony cards in their present positions.
| When one is a Headmaster, and they swap bodies with their teammates, and even their enemies(?), [[Random-access humor|when is it enough if it goes on All Day?!]]
| 28 November 2019
|-
|}

===CWC lore===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:ProphecyTCGCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Anchuent Prophecy]]
| Ship
| Heart
| NA
| The Anchuent Prophecy is a Prophecy that was told and foretold by many an Elder of the various tribes all around the world within the years B.C. and A.D. on Earth; these particular Prophecy walls are related to the lineage between Sonichus, Rosechus, the people and world around them, and, of course, Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu of Earth 1218, and her various self-counterparts. There are actually a few Anchuent Prophecy Walls around the world; they all essentially foretold the same events, the difference being what happened locally in those various countries. There is a wall in Japan, Africa, England, Russia, Canada, Antartica [sic], and, [[Chris and his Ego|most famously noted]], the one in Cwcville, Virginia, USA.
| 2 [[September 2019]]
|-
| [[Image:JerkopCards3.jpg|150px]]
| White Janekop
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Baton Whap (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| After Walsh and Graduon overtook PVCC, they used their sorcery to control the minds of the unfortunate students who attended; literally Thousands of innocent individuals who we, the heroes, [[Sonichu 10|had to be very cautious not to kill]]. And yet, they were simply pawned off in piloting the transforming robots/vehicles that we had to counter with out local Autobots. [[Chris and remorse|It got disheartening]].
| 8 September 2019
|-
| [[Image:JerkopCards4.jpg|150px]]
| Brown Jerkop
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Baton Whap (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| "By the order of our Mistress, Love Is Forbidden!" -Jerkop -"Sonichu" Book #5
| 8 September 2019
|-
| [[Image:JerkopCards5.jpg|150px]]
| Jerkop/Janekop Elimination
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: At least Three Jerkops and/or Janekops in any combination have been discarded or removed from the grid.
| There are Too Many Jerkops and Janekops! We must take them down in the names of Love, Honesty, Heart, and Soul!
| 8 September 2019
|-
| [[Image:JerkopCards6.jpg|150px]]
| Brown Janekop
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Baton Whap (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| After Walsh and Graduon overtook PVCC, they used their sorcery to control the minds of the unfortunate students who attended; literally Thousands of innocent individuals who we, the heroes, had to be very cautious not to kill. And yet, they were simply pawned off in piloting the transforming robots/vehicles that we had to counter with out local Autobots. It got disheartening.
| 8 September 2019
|-
| [[Image:JerkopCards7.jpg|150px]]
| Red Jerkop
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Baton Whap (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| "By the order of our Mistress, Love Is Forbidden!" -Jerkop -"Sonichu" Book #5
| 8 September 2019
|-
| [[Image:JerkopCards8.jpg|150px]]
| Red Janekop
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Baton Whap (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| After Walsh and Graduon overtook PVCC, they used their sorcery to control the minds of the unfortunate students who attended; literally Thousands of innocent individuals who we, the heroes, had to be very cautious not to kill. And yet, they were simply pawned off in piloting the transforming robots/vehicles that we had to counter with out local Autobots. It got disheartening.
| 8 September 2019
|-

| [[Image:Scientists'dealings.jpg|150px]]
| Scientists' Dealings
| Ship
| Heart
| The two Pony cards attached to this Ship card on the grid gain the Villain keyword.
| Eggman, Skysoar and Giovanni scheme and work together to capture Rosey and lure Sonichu into their trap. -"Sonichu" book #1
| 25 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:RenSkysoarCard.jpg|150px]]
| Doctor Ren Skysoar
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Hand Me My Screwdriver (Draw): You may draw 1 card from the Ship or Pony deck.
| Doctor Ren Skysoar was one of the head scientists and robotics expert on Team Rocket. Skysoar and Eggman were classmates growing up, and throughout High School and College. Skysoar used to look up to Kintobar, up until when he became Eggman. Skysoar continued his studies and creating his own advanced robotics. Skysoar built the very first Metal Sonichu, adding electricity-resistant fields onto the robot.
| 25 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:UH-OH! Oh, Well!.jpg|150px]]
| UH-OH! Oh, Well!
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: Blake Sonichu is Shipped with a Human Villain.
| With the DNA from Sonichu (Prime) from that battle between Niatsirhc's Zapdos with him at the mall on February 25, 2003, Giovanni's scientists used their cloning machine to create their first Sonichu clone. But Bill fumbled and spilled cherry cola onto the hair fibers, making Blake Sonichu turn out red and black in colour. -"Sonichu" book #1
| 25 October 2019
|-
|}

===Dimensional lore===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:ChrisNewArt5.jpg|150px]]
| Commodore Blocke Phone
| Pony
| Male or Female
| Commodore Blocke [sic] Phone does not have a Race. [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off|Can You Hear Me Now?]] (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| After Scarlett's death in 1994, the Commodore company continued onward into other tech for the time in C-197 until when Chris Chan Sonichu would be bestowed the powers and responsibilities. Commodore had put out some cell phones and have been successful in their sales.
| 15 September 2019
|-
| [[Image:ponderingcard.jpg|150px]]
| Pondering in Dimension 1218
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| I told [[Helena Fiorenza|Helena]], "You need to ready yourself for the upcoming battles that will very likely result from the Dimension Merge. You have a gift that many the heavily Spiritual and Soulful have, but more than half of the total 1218's Earth population does not, as they are not as Spiritual. Like Christine has, you have the ability to portray who and what you actually see in front of you in portray who and what you actually see in front of you in proper [[Chris and reality|photographed form]]. Your efforts will be a heavy mention to even the most cynical that this is very much real and going to happen. Yours, and everyone else's better powers and abilities shall become more obvious and doable for you and them all, very soon, before the end of this year of [[2019]]
| 21 November 2019
|-
| [[Image:coffeecard.jpg|150px]]
| Coffee Break
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| While visiting Helena in 1218, Magi-Chan was still contemplating and determining the next steps in the sequence of events, based on may premonitions of this timeline, and explaining them to her for her future part in this. She served coffee, and they enjoyed the talk and refreshment.
| 21 November 2019
|-
| [[Image:BatteryChargeHeartCard.jpg|150px]]
| CPU Battery-Charge Blue Heart
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| [[Obese|Heavy]] Defensives(Protection): All Pony cards shipped with this one cannot be discarded from the grid. This power cannot be copied.
| The CPU of the Nation of Cwcville, and the Smash Z handheld gaming console [sic], Sabrina goes all out in defense of the Nation and cities within, and remains very agile, swift and strong against her foes. She launches exploding S-Chu balls from her arm launcher, weilds a heavy-duty lightning blade, and a heavy-duty shield on her other arm. She is a high level of CPU strength and endurance.
|24 November 2019
|-
| [[Image:Dmcompletcard.jpg|150px]]
| Dimensional Merge Completion
| Goal
| Checkmark
| You win this Goal when: It is your turn, and you are no more than One Point away from the Point Cap of the current game.
| "All OCs, Creators and Good Peoples come together to defend the Earth of the combined dimensions of 1218 and C-197 from our greatest common foes." -The combined wishes of all of the OCs and all Creators and Peoples from both dimensions.
| 5 December 2019
|-
|}

===[[Chris and his Ego|Chris]] cards===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:Patreoncard1.jpg|150px]]
| Original Creator of Sonichu, Christine W Chandler Sonichu
| Start
| Female, Alicorn
| N/A
| Place this card in the center of the table at the start of the game. This card cannot be moved or removed from the grid. When this card is shipped with Magi-Chan, Cryzel, Sylvana, and Mewtwo, you may take on active Goal card that is three points or less. This power cannot be copied.
| 6 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Patreoncard2.jpg|150px]]
| CPU Blue Heart -Sonichu Form
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Light Power-Up (Special): All surrounding Pony cards shipped with this card gain the Special keyword.
| With Chris Chan being half-human and half-Sonichu, she has the option of this alt-form in her CPU and upgraded HDD forms. She typically runs more than fly in this form, but she can still fly.
| 6 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Patreoncard7.jpg|150px]]
| Equestrian Author of "Sonichu", Nightstar
| Start
| Female, Unicorn
| Place this card in the center of the table at the start of the game. This card cannot be moved or removed from the grid. This power cannot be copied.
| "I took a page from Bright Eye, and I've mastered, and prefer very much, drawing and writing by hoof." -Nightstar, "Sonichu" book 12-9
| 6 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Put It On My Card.jpg|150px]]
| [[Chris and money|Put It On My Card]]
| Goal
| Checkmark
| When this Goal is turned face up place this card underneath any Pony card presently on the Shipping grid, with the name of this card visible. The Pony card becomes a Start card, and it cannot be moved or removed from the grid. This power cannot be copied.
| "[[I'm workin' on it|When I set my mind on something, well, it sets there]]. But when I have the intel and know the goal, I do my best to see the task a success. But, on this instant, I'll lest a Pony on the grid have some rivalling Fanfic Author control for a while." -Chris Chan Sonichu
| 21 October 2019
|-
| [[File:ElegantChrisChanSonichuCard.jpg|150px]]
| Elegant Chris Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| I Do My Best For Everyone (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Chris Chan is looking elegant in her evening gown as she attends her coronation and celebration of the completion of the Dimension Merge and the union of the populations of Dimensions c-197 and 1218. Theparty taking place at the Cwcville Bassilicon, and Chris Chan showing her appreciation of everyone from in front of the rooftop gazebo.
| 12 November 2019
|-
| [[File:PsychlightStartCard.jpg|150px]]
| Chris Chan Sonichu Chronicler, CWC [[Psychlight]]
| Start
| Female, Alicorn
| Place this card in the center of the table at the start of the game. This card cannot be moved or removed from the grid. This power cannot be copied. Once per turn. When this card is Shipped with Chris Chan, you may draw the top card from either the Ship deck or Ship discard pile.
| N/A
| 14 November 2019
|-
| [[File:PsychlightCard.jpg|150px]]
| CWC Psychlight
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| [[Doopie_E-mails#Hey.2C_Danielle_.E2.80.94_30_July_2017|Mind that Levitate]] (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| Originating as a Christine Weston Chandler counterpart from the chronicled events of the video game, DC Universe Online, the CWC (pronounced as "quick") Psychlight fights crime and defend [sic] the innocent alongside the Justice League. She is a resident of Dimension C-197 who, in her free time and psychic link, chronicles the life of the original Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu of Dimension 1218.
| 14 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Ocofoccard.jpg|150px]]
| The OC of OCs, Chris Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Sonic Rainboom Aura (Special): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, including uncopyable power, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| "I do my best for Everyone: all [[Things Chris has ripped off|Original Creators]], [[OC|Original Creations]], and [[Death threats|everyone else in between]]. I am Both an Original Creation and an Original Creator with deity-level abilities and powers that works fully in ALL Dimensions, including my home, Dimension 1218. And fully charged with my OP Rainbow Aura, I do my best as not only a Sonichu and a CPU, but also as The OC of OCs." -Chris Chan Sonichu
| 19 November 2019
|-
| [[File:SkylanderChrisCard.jpg|150px]]
| Skylander Chris Chan
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Portal of Power (Special): When this card is placed on the shipping grid, it counts as a Start card; this card cannot be discarded from the grid. All cards shipped with this one gain the Skylander keyword. This power cannot be copied.
| In the realm of the Skylands, run by Master Eon, many come in from far and wide to help in the cause of defending Skylands from the worst villains, as well as Kaos. Chris Chan answered the call with her self-counterpart OC for that dimension a Light Type Sword-Weilding Angel. She will do her best for Everyone, Everywhere when she is needed. "Portal Master! Grant me magic."
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Postigcwcsonichucard.jpg|150px]]
| Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Zappin' It Up (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| "I continue to do my best for Everyone, including as many as possible whose individual lives I bless with my presence and kindness. I have faith all of you will continue to do your best for yourselves, individually and for each other." "My Heart and Soul goes out to All of you." -Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu.
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Preigcwcsonichucard.jpg‎|150px]]
| Chris Chan
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Psychic Thunderbolt (Keyword Change): When Chris Chan is played on the grid, you may choose one Pony card shipped with this one. Until the end of your turn, that Pony card gains one keyword of your choice, except for Pony names.
| "Electric Hedgehog Sonichu Power, Activate!" -Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Cwcconvnetioncard.jpeg|150px]]
| I'm Here At This Convnetion [sic]
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| "I like the shows, I like the arts, but I come to the conventions to enjoy and be around the kind people, artists, celebrities, and everyone, good and bad. Show me kindness and fun; I smile for your all" -Chris Chan Sonichu
| 4 December 2019
|-
| [[File:4thwallcwccard.jpeg|150px]]
| Fourth Wall-Breaking Chris Chan Sonichu (1218)
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Circle of Ships (Special): Surround this Pony card with a unicorn or alicorn to the left, a pegasus above, an earth pony to the right, and a Pony card with the Object keyword below. The moment you do, you may collect an active Goal card worth up to 3 points. This power cannot be copied.
| Hello, my new friend. Thank you for summoning me into this battle. OP Goddess, that I am, I shall do my best to help you win. I'll give you an easy win: set me up in a full surrounding set of ships, as listed above, and you many have points for your Goal Scores. Best of Blessings I pray unto thee. :) -Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu
| 4 December 2019
|-
| [[Image:Chris Chan Sonicleric.jpg|150px]]
| Chris Chan Sonicleric
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Cleric Healing (Search): You may search the Ship of Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. It its still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
|
| 13 December 2019
|-
| [[File:Collosal Christine Chan Sonichu.jpg|150px]]
| Collosal Christine Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| When Christine Chan Sonichu would be discarded from the shipping grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in her place. Healing Zaps (Special): All non-Villain Pony cards gain the Hero keyword until when they're discarded. This power cannot be copied.
| When Christine Chan Sonichu Mega Evolves, she gains a massive increase in power to overpower her foes and enemies. She also can heal many a wounded and suffering in one felt swoop before reverting back to normal.
|
|-
| [[File:Super Chris chan Sonichu.jpg|150px]]
| Super Chris Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| When Chris Chan Sonichu would be discarded from the shipping grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in her place. Overpowered Electricity (Special): Discard all Pony card with the Villain keyword from the shipping grid. This power cannot be copied.
| When Chris Chan Soncihu uses the power of the Chaos Emeralds, regardless of present form, she becomes Super Chris Chan Sonichu; same abilities and powers as Ultra Sonichu, on top of her other abilities and powers.
|
|-
|}

===[[Ben Saint]] cards===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:ChrisSlime22.jpg|150px]]
| Phantom Horn
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| The Horn Is There! (Special): You may draw 2 cards from the Ship and/or Pony deck.
| (14) - While recovering, P.H. was feeling more magic in his aura and seeing mild sparks flying off of his forehead. After returning to Equestria, it became more obvious. He removed the paper tube and found in its place a light teal-coloured functional horn. He was simply elated. But old habits die hard as he, for a while, still had the idea others still thought of him as an Earth Pony (Nobody saw him as such after this). When his horn glows, it gets a temporary transparent appearance, but functions normal and well.
| 3 [[October 2019]]
|-
| [[Image:ChrisSlime23.jpg|150px]]
| Strawberry Milk
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Dude! Sex is Rad! (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| (15) - S.M. finally gets to chillax back in his crib with his bro-heimers and chicas. Remaining one who,[[Slow-in-the-minds|partly intelligent]], tries to be cool and chill, and ruins a moment with a [[Random-access humor|pervy comment in the name of humor]]. For him, to keep him feeling happy is simply the fact of, "As long as I can still dance."
| 3 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Patreoncard4.jpg|150px]]
| [[Rollin' and Trollin'|Trolling the Trolls Back]]
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| (1) - Phantom Horn and Strawberry Milk have been wandering the streets of New Lost Angeles City, aka New Milwaukee, Arizona in Dimension C-197, mining the slime that has the locals' minds under negative influences. As their frustration hit an apex, a Goddess appears to help. "Ah! Thers's Phantom Horn. The super awsome, yet weird, unicorn. I just... Feel compelled to study him. To become a Phantom Horn Historian... A Phanstorian, if you will!" -Chris Chan Sonichu. "Wha...! Bro! you just got trolled back!!" -Strawberry Milk.
| 6 October 2019
|-
| [[File:Showercard.jpg|150px]]
| Cleansing Shower
| Ship
| Heart
| When you attach this card to the grid, you may choose one Pony card attached to this Ship. Until the end of your turn, that Pony card gains one keyword of your choice, except for Pony names.
| (9) - Within hours after Chris Chan had informed the heroes, superheroes, and militaries, of the formula for dissolving the slime. Shower Stations had been crafted around the edges of Arizona; barrels of bicarbonate soda and sugar have been piped into the shower stations. During this shower, S.M. laughs at pervy thoughts.
| 6 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Blesshorncard.jpg|150px]]
| I Bless This Horn
| Ship
| Heart
| When you attach this card to the grid, you may choose one Pony card attached to thsi Ship. Until the end of your turn, that Pony card becomes the race of your choice. This cannot affect Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| (10) - After the shower, Chris Chan teleports the slime-free P.H. and S.M. to Cwcville's Bassilicom. She had blessed the poudrin and returned it to P.H.; he will be in for a positive surprise very soon.
| 6 November 2019
|-
| [[Image:sparkingcard.jpg|150px]]
| Sparkling Deity
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: A Pony card becomes an Alicorn, pe-existing Alicorns and Changelings on the field do not count towards this Goal.
| Over the city of NLACakaNM in the Beta Timeline of C-197, that timeline's Chris Chan Sonichu appeared above the city, leading the extended soda storms only that timeline would endure. And in that timeline, that Chris Chan became infected by the slime, and became corrupted.
| 21 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Divine Intervention.jpg|150px]]
| [[Chris and religion|Divine Intervention]]
| Ship
| Heart
| If this card is attached to a Pony card with a matching super form (Mega or Chaos keyword) in your hand or discard pile at any time, you may discard the attached Pony card and replace it with its matching super form.
| (AZ-16) After Ben Saint had demolished the Beta timeline he had accessed for his comic, he exiled that Phantom Horn into a void. But, he has a further purpose, so I resued and brought him into C-197 to serve that purpose. -Chris Chan "The gift of life extension by divine intervention, It's gotta be a twist of fate." -[[Wikipedia:Olivia Newton John]]
|
|-
|}

===Hasbro Protest===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[File:Nightstarprotestcard.jpg|150px]]
| Nightstar [[Sonic Boom Protests|In Protest]]
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Barring #GOPony (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| "Okay, @Hasbro. Even I, and every other Individual in Equestria can only take so much fomr you [[Chris and money|greedy]] executives. But We Will NEVER Stand for this "Teen Titans GO!" Slander of Ourselves! You Read Our Comments, and You Hear Us from C-197's Equestria, Directly. We want to be Chronicled Properly and Accurately Correct, and so does Everyone, there, in your Dimension 1218." -Nightstar Sonichu
| 16 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Kunprotestcard.jpg|150px]]
| Kun In Protest
| Pony
| Male, Pegasus
| [[Chris and the law|Picketing At Their Window]] (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| "I am siding with my Sweetheart, Nightstar, because I do agree. "MLP Pony Life" is just a total "Teen Titans GO!" ripoff, and [[Chris and art|it just plain looks horrendous]] and misrepresenting of us. Listen to us, @Hasbro." -Kun Hanhphuc.
| 16 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Hasbroprotestcard.jpg|150px]]
| Protesting At @Hasbro, Inc
| Goal
| Check Mark
| Win this Goal when: You have at least four of the individuals at the Protest on the Shipping grid, shipped together either adjacently, or in a chain. Chris Chan, Nightstar, Kun, Twilight Sparkle, Luna, Cadence, Rainbow Dash, Lightweight, and/or Zap Note.
| **NO! TO #GOPony.** **Yes! To #MLPFiMSeasons10to14** Heed Us All, @Hasbro!
| 16 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Executiveprotestcard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Chris and negotiation|Telling It To The Executives]]
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| "Now, Listen! We Know your game, your greedy Corporate Executives." Nightstar says. "Your little game of showing us [[Sonichu (comic)|crap work]] to delay the extensino of G4 is crap. You think you can just buy and bide your time for money You Are Wrong and Messed Up." I chime in, "That is right. Even I Know of the Mane Six all becoming Alicorns for the Round Table of Friendship, and I Know that idea was streaming around your creative teams and all the offices for a long time now. And I Know Your Secrets; We All Do. So, cut the [[Chris and censorship|bulls***]] and just make the announcement NOW about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic getting Five More Seansons." And the next day, after they agreed, a TV Announcment was publicly aired many, many times on Discover Family.
| 16 November 2019
|-
|}

===[[Things Chris Has Ripped Off|Fan]] cards===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:SonichuOCCards1.jpg|150px]]
| Cheval
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Firey [sic] Space (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| A fire-electric type Sonichu, Cheval has lived [[Virgin with rage|a partly lonely life]]. He has seen many a dark and nightmarish vision or illusion. He does not want to cause trouble, yet he has inadvertently made trouble. "Edge-Lord" some call him, but he is really simply distant. He realized how he is a danger. Very few try to reach out to him; he had to keep himself emotionally closed off.
| 21 September 2019
|-
| [[Image:Patreoncard5.jpg|150px]]
| [[Incest|Brotherly Love]]
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: [[Asperchu|A sonichu (without the OC keyword)]] is shipped with [[True and Honest|a Sonichu with the OC keyword]].
| "Oh, Sonichu! Can you ever forgive me for offending you and your mother? You know you mean the world to me for all the love and support you have shown me in my creation, I shall forever cherish your love and kindess and take your caring hands in friendship" -Mitch Sonichu "Oh, Asperchu! Of course I forgive you! Let's hold hands and stroll down the beach, perhpas we'll each find us sweethearts to love and cherish as we do eachother now!" -Sonichu -"Asperchu" Book #oA
| 6 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:MoreOCs6.jpg|150px]]
| Plotted Device
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Programmed Wisdoms (Special): You may draw 2 cards from the Ship and/or Pony deck.
| The Magi-Chan Sonichu of the [[Wikipedia:Skullgirls|Skullgirkls']] Dimension, S-642. His original body in that dimension was too much for the exaggerated combat that take place there. A robot body, titled Plotted Device, was created in his visage. His soul possessed the robot, and he has become most durable and stable in the dimension. [[Transgender|SHE]] now still maintains her psychic powers and electrical abilities, very agile too, she has rockets and gun-type weapons to boot.
| 10 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:MiscTSSSFCard.jpg|150px]]
| Ok K.O.! Lets Zap It Up!
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal When: Chris Chan, with the Sonichu Keyword, is shipped with a ⧗ with the Villain keyword.
| The one-and-only Goddess-Level of all other-dimensional Chris Chan Sonichus, from Earth of Dimension 1218, she does her best for the Sonichu and Rosechu kind and Everyone, in general.
| 11 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:CWCIsPronouncedAsQuick.jpg|150px]]
| "CWC" Is Pronounced As "Quick"
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: Chris Chan is Shipped with Christine Chan
| Kel and Rosey approah the city of Cwcville for the first time, and they read the "Welcome to Cwcville" sign. "C W C-ville?", Rosey asks. "The locals pronounce it as "Quick-ville", actually. I'm guessing it's foreign", Kel responds. And then Rosey comments, "Weird." -Rosechu's Story, -"sonichu" book #15.
| 21 October 2019
|-
| [[File:SlushiCard.jpg|150px]]
| Slushi
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Programming the Sonichu Mania Mod Project (Keyword, Gender, and Race Change): You may change the Gender and Race, and add a new Keyword, to a Pony card this one is shipped with. That Pony keeps these changes until the end of your turn.
| Slushi likes to chill with his friends and make new friends, socially. He also likes to play Sega and Nintendo on his console. He also plays on PC, where he also programs his own Mods. Bit of a [[Troll]], and a Gamer Nerd-Geek, but he is [[white knight|not a hater at all]].
| 2 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Astoriacard.jpg|150px]]
| Astoria
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Dropletts [sic] of Health (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Astoria lives outside of Cwcville, where she owns and maintains a field of [[Zapbud|Zapbuds]] and lives in a small, cozy home. Quiet and shy, she is really into gardening. Being an Electric/Water Type, she can use her own healing waters to maintain her gardens; afterwards, they shimmer and glow, even in darkest of nights without a [[moon]] or stars.
| 2 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Hollyhockcard.jpg|150px]]
| Hollyhock
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Fairy Bolt (Special): When you attach this card to the grid, you may choose a Villain shipped with this card and change it to Hero until the end of your turn.
| Holly acts more like a quiet cat that doens't [sic] like to be touched. She is protective of the ones she cares for, and is quite cautious around others. She performed in contests; [[Women's rights|beauty is her best trait]], with fashionable clothing choices. Fast and able to dodge almost everything, she is able to use Electric and Fairy attacks.
| 2 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Pepperchucard.jpg|150px]]
| Pepperchu
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| [[Honor Roll|Book Smarts on the Streets]] (Keyword Change): When you attach this card to the grid, you may choose one Pony card attached to this Ship. Until the end of your turn, that Pony card gains one keyword of your choice, except for Pony names.
| Quite the intelligent, smart and savvy gal, Pepperchu enjoys reading and chillin' with her friends; BFs with Astoria Rosechu. She sets herself apart with her own edgy style, as she mingles with Sonichus who rock the streets, though book smarts impress her better. She also gets by quite well in [[Pepper spray|self-defense]] and quick wits.
| 2 November 2019
|-
| [[File:SImonchu TSSSF card.jpg|150px]]
| Simonchu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Fossil Dig (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
|Born in the forest, alongside his sister, Simonla Rosey, Simon wasn't so fortunate. As a Sonee, he found a knack for digging and ground-type maneuvers. He was caught by Evan George, who altered his genetic structure for power and physical strength. Simon ended up becoming timid under Evan, Alec, Mao and Sean's abuse. He would eventually escape and seek the job of Archeologist. He's doing better these days.
| 3 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Scott SoundSpllicerCard.jpg|150px]]
| Scott SoundSpllicer
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| SlimeCan [[Tomgirl|(Gender Change)]]: When you attach this card to the grid, you may choose one Pony card attached to this Ship. Until the end of your turn, that Pony card becomes the opposite gender.
| The online artist with quite the zesty style, he lived a life lacking peeps, and he's had a hard time. Goodness in his heart, he continues onward to do his best for everyone else.
| 3 November 2019
|-
| [[File:DaedalusCard.jpeg|150px]]
| Daedalus
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Scavenge (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it in your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Of Earth, Dimension X686, Daedalus is a Degu whose family owns a junkyard. He is a very skilled engineer and mechanic. He builds well-crafted jets, armour, and weaponry. If there is something that can be built or fixed, he sure as shoot can put it together and back together again.
| 6 November 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:Dream-CrashingCard.jpg|150px]]
| Dream-Crashing
| Ship
| Heart
| Instead of playing this Ship with a Pony card from your hand, or connecting two Pony cards already on the shipping grid, you may take a Pony card from the grid and reattach it elsewhere with this Ship. That card's power activates.
| In Dimension X686, Ke[ler Sonichu has the ability to leave his body and enter other individual's dreams, usually with nightmarish results. He really hates [[Mary Lee Walsh|Walsh]], there, as her mind is one that he has been most resistant to [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|his attacks]].
| 9 November 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:KeplerCard.jpeg|150px]]
| Kepler
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Mind-[[Forgot the Glitter|Twerking]] (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| Of Earth, Dimension X686, the final of four clones of Black Sonichu, there, in what was Team Rocket's Project Kepler. Kepler was infused with components of Ditto DNA; he is able to reshape his body parts into weapons. This first two clones fear him; Three remains in stasis, as she is Perfect like Kepler, to the point where they are psychically linked to each other. He can also intrude into other's minds and dreams.
| 9 November 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:DerekCard.jpeg|150px]]
| Derek
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Meta Wisdom (Special): All Pony cards shipped with this card gain the Hero keyword. This power cannot be copied.
| Of Earth, Dimension X686, Dereck is a counterpart of Magi-Chan Sonichu. Dereck puts up with a worse version of Chris Chan who is more reckless. He knows there is a [[Chris and religion|greater truth]] beyond his home dimension that would bring solace and peace to it. And that truth lies in between Dimensions C-197 and 1218 and our own Chris Chan Sonichu.
| 9 November 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:Gabedaycard.jpg|150px]]
| Happy Gabe Day
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| Gabriel the Starman (of Rowdy F***ers Cop Killers) is an artist who makes art for everyone, and a day is celebrated in appreciation on his Birthday, November 17. He is a friend to many. Happy Gabe Day.
| 17 November 2019
|-
| [[File:KillerOCCard.jpg|150px]]
| Killer
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Merciless (Special): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. If you do, discard another Pony card from the grid. This power cannot be copied.
| Killer Sonichu is the CPU of the XVIDIA console, residing in her Nation of NLACakaNM in the Beta timeline of C-197. People didn't respect her, and she turned rebel as she took on SlimeCo when it started. But the majority of locals chose to consume the slime. The slime does not affect her. She found tech for dimension-traveling, and she explored in meditations. OC by @hoodlumhijinks
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[Image:thankyoucard.jpg|150px]]
| Thank You For Your Kindness
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| [[AquaDiamond8|Aqua]] had helped me out a major jam while fighting a giant robot that; I had trouble taking it out and finding its [[Sourdough region|weak spot]]. I got knocked off and [Crash into slumber|momentarily dazed]]. Aqua rushed to my side and helped me back up. Then with her help, we destroyed this bot quick. She sought my approval; I smiled and thanked her for her help and kindness.
| 21 November 2019
|-
| [[Image:concernscard.jpg|150px]]
| Growing Concerns
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: You break up Chris Chan or Christine Chan with another Pony card three times in the same turn (Swapping counts as breaking up a ship). This Goal is worth 3 Points if at least one of the other Pony cards has the Villain or [[Jacob Sockness|Kidasuna]] keyword.
| Magi-Chan Sonichu and Aqua grow concerned as Chris Chan continues to block [[Guard Dogs|Bad Trolls]], even if they have concerns for her. But Chris Chan knows the hatred in their intentions make blocking them most appropriate.
| 21 November 2019
|-
| [[Image:chillaxingcard.jpg|150px]]
| Chillaxing
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| Chris Chan, Aqua, Nightvee and [[MKR]] enjoy chillaxing together in one of their personal subspaces to get away and just hang and talk for a while.
| 21 November 2019
|-
| [[Image:valcard.jpg|150px]]
| Val Valentino
| Pony
| Male or Female, Alicorn
| Possession (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| This Magi-Chan, from Dimension ZX-49, is so powerful he has to mentally project a simplified form that the human mind can comprehend. [[Chris and art|Looking at his true form would drive you mad]]. He comes into 1218 and C-197 to help Aqua and guide her in her part to help out in the coming battles, also his home Dimension is in shambles, and it will require Aqua to restore it to a stable area again.
| 21 November 2019
|-
| [[File:CPUAquaHumanCard.jpg|150px]]
| CPU Aqua (Human Form)
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Laptop Login (Retrieve): While this card is in your hand, you may choose a Pony card on this grid and put it into your hand, then play this card in its place. This Power cannot be copied.
| Aqua is the CPU of the Mac Book Pro computer. With her partner, Val Valentino, she does her best for everyone as she is able to. She has a bit of a temper and will rush into a situation if she feels her friends are in danger. Not sure if its a flaw, she's a little gullable [sic] from past mistakes, but she is learning from them.
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:AChatBetweenSNTandChrisChan.jpg|150px]]
| A Chat Between [[ProjectSNT|SNT]] and Chris Chan
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: SNT and Chris Chan, with the Sonichu keyword, are shipped together on the shipping grid.
| In C-197, I had a fateful encounter where I was sent to thwart another Eggman scheme, but I eneded up meeting the one-and-only SNT. She and I enjoyed a pleasant conversation. I even pointed out her inhabitual attraction when it went off: I was immune to it. Also, she was still grasping the concept of communicating with Courtney, being an OC of hers, and so forth. I offered my insight and thoughts. She felt better. And then we took down Eggman. -Chris Chan Sonichu.
| 12 December 2019
|-
| [[File:Wild Sonirisu TSSSF.jpg|150px]]
| Wild Sonirisu
|
|
| Archery Play (Special): When you play this card onto the grid, you may discard a Pony card, other than this one, from the shipping grid.
| From Cwcville in Dimension CS-89, Wild and everyone else functions in a Dungeons & Dragons style of classes and quests. Wild is a Ranger since his specialty is climbing, long-range offenses, and his very well-educated stealth and ninja skills.
| 13 December 2019
|-
|}

===Other cards===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:EpicOnlineBully.jpeg|150px]]
| Epic Online Bully
| Ship
| Heart
| You must take a Pony card from the grid and reattach it elsewhere with this Ship. That card's power activates. At the end of the turn, until the Pony card attached with this Ship is discarded of removed from the grid, it gains the Keyword Villain.
| Ah, It was most disheartening when Chris Chan was bullied harsh by the late [[BlueSpike]]; [[For Julie's Eyes Only|she was never more shamed]]. He was a truly Malicious Individual. I cried a lot for Chris Chan that night. She recovered eventually." -Magi-Chan Sonichu.
| 28 September 2019
|-
| [[Image:Liquidcard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Liquid Chris]]
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Pretentious Acting (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
|Having been born as a Sonee in a mountainous region, L.C. was mentored by a wild Graveler. L.C.'s diet consisted of fruits, veggies, and he is able to eat and digest rocks. He is a spy for Giovanni and Team Rocket, and he has demon allies that play Max Revive on him when needed. He possesses a heavy rock-tough body and offenses, but is always thwarted by a simple Steel-Type attack like Iron Tail.
| by [[Playing Twilight Sparkle’s Secret Shipfic Folder with the New Sonichu Deck!|27 November 2019]]
|-
| [[Image:Mewtou.jpg|150px]]
| Mewtwo
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Barrier (Special): All Pony cards closely shipped with this card can not be swapped or moved on the grid by card effects. This power cannot be Copied.
| The one-and-only Mewtwo gives Chris Chan, Magi-Chan, Cryzel, Sylvana, everyone of Cwcville, and all of the good peoples and creatures help and insighful protection. If you come a knockin with malicious intentions, he will send you packing in an instant. He knows about you, he's seen and foreseen it all, and we all known together with everyone else, Jakoba, and the strongest villains, will not stand a chance.
| 1 November 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:ClassicShirtCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[The Classic|Classic Iconic Shirt]]
| Pony
| Male or Female
| This Card has no Race. Ralph Lauren Style (Draw): You may draw 1 card from your Pony or Ship deck.
| A lovely aged classic attire favored by Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu for decades; a Ralph Lauren brand shirt, [[Obese|size Large]]; [[United States of America|Red, White and Blue]] in colour; no more than three sets of stripes down the shirt, complete with the Ralph Lauren crest on the lapel. It had mostly survived the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house fire]] of Janurary [sic], 2014; it has been repaired and is still wearable.
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Colebloodedcard.jpg|150px]]
| Cole Blooded
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: 10 Pony cards with the Human keyword are shipped in a chain.
| N/A
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Pushcartcard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Bob_Chandler#Career|Musical Push-Cart]]
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| N/A
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Welcometokidasunacard.PNG|150px]]
| Welcome To Kidasuna
| Goal
| Check Mark
| Win this Goal when: [[Rape|Jacob is shipped with Chris Chan]]
| "Ah. Here we are, Jacob. Welcome back to Kidasuna. I told you I'd be the one who transports you here. And we did it with Faster-Than-Light Teleportation of my powers and abilities." -Chris Chan Sonichu
| 12 December 2019
|-
| [[File:Chaos Emeralds.jpg|150px]]
| Chaos Emeralds
| Ship
| Heart
| If this card is attached to a Pony card with a matching super form (Mega or Chaos keyword) in your hand or discard pile at any time, you may discard the attached Pony card and replace it with its matching super form.
| "The seven servers are the chaos. Chaos is power enriched by the heart. The controller serves to unify the chaos." -Tikal Let the Chaos Emeralds be charged by the kindness and love in our hearts and souls, and bring everyone together in allyship towards the common goal of defending the Earths from our greatest threat from another galaxy.
|
|-

|-
| [[File:Rosechite.jpg|150px]]
| Rosechite
| Ship
| Heart
| If this card is attached to a Rosechu, and their matching super form (Mega or Chaos keyword) is in your hand or discard pile at any time, you may discard the attached Rosechu and replace it wtih its matching super form.
| All Sonichites and Rosechites have been created from the shattered Crystal S-Chu Balls, each containing a bit of energy from the Chaotic Rainbow and the Chaos Emeralds. Rosechites make a Rosechu Evolve into its Mega Form (although the form varies if it is a Rosechite of a Special Rosechu). These Mega Evolved forms are less powerful than direct use of the seven Chaos Emeralds.
|
|-
| [[File:Sonichite.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichite
| Ship
| Heart
| If this card is attached to a Sonichu, and their matching super form (Mega or Chaos keyword) is in your hand or discard pile at any time, you may discard the attached Sonichu and replace it wtih its matching super form.
| All Sonichites and Rosechites have been created from the shattered Crystal S-Chu Balls, each containing a bit of energy from the Chaotic Rainbow and the Chaos Emeralds. Sonichites make a Sonichu Evolve into its Mega Form (although the form varies if it is a Sonichites of a Special Sonichu ). These Mega Evolved forms are less powerful than direct use of the seven Chaos Emeralds.
|
|-
| [[File:Superpowered Counterparts.jpg|150px]]
| Superpowered Counterparts
| Goal
| Check Mark
| Win this Goal when: A Pony card with the Mega or Chaos keyword is shipped with their original form, listed in their card detail.
| Wow! This is rather awkward. How can my Super Form be co-existing with me right here, right now?!!! Maybe this is me from another dimension or timeline who powered up while being here. I wonder if I should power-up too.
|
|-
|}



==Packs==

===TSSSF Sonichu & Rosechu Expansion Pack $41.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-sonichu-rosechu-expansion-pack-presale/8?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFpack1.jpeg|
File:TSSSFpack2.jpeg|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Now there is more Zap to add to the TSSSF Sonichu and/or Core Deck with more Sonichus and Rosechus, including a few more cards of the Primes.

Sonichu and Rosey have an ever-expanding family of friends and allies with the more Special and Regular Sonichus and Rosechus coming out of the other areas and even Dimensions. With more at the fray, it's time to Zap It Up even more on the Shipping Grid.

TSSSF Sonichu Deck or Core Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. This Pack contains 54 Cards

===TSSSF Nightstar & Friends Expansion Pack $36.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-nightstar-friends-expansion-pack-presale/7?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFpack3.jpeg|
File:TSSSFpack4.jpeg|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Into the fray of Fan Fictions and Shipping Fodder enters our one-and-only Special Half-Unicorn/Half-Sonichu, Nightstar, and her friends and family from Equestria.

The author of the "Sonichu" books in Equestria, Nightstar is a very unique unicorn who not only has powerful magics, but heavy psychic powers, electric abilities, and mach-speed running. She is not only friends with Princess Twilight and the rest of the Mand 6, but also the background ponies, and all of the OCs. She is even friends with THE Mary Sue and Gary Stu. And now, they're all heare in this crazy game of Shipping. Let's all work together to help each other in our many various ships.

This pack also includes a few #horsefamous OCs from the Brony Community, and the presently fully updated versions of the Mane 6, as they ARE and should be chronicled, peoperly, as not fan-fiction; literally Canon.

TSSSF Sonichu Deck or Core Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. This pack contains 45 cards.

===TSSSF Sonichu/Rosechu Super/Mega Forms Expansion Pack $30.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-sonichu-rosechu-super-mega-forms-expansion-pack-presale/6?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFpack5.jpeg|
File:TSSSFpack6.jpeg|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

When just being yourself is not enough for the battles against your foes on the Shipping Grid to save the innocent beings from being abused isn't enough, it is about time to Mega Evolve for Battle!

Witness the Awesome Power of the Sonichus and Rosechus with either their Mega Stones, or the seven Chaos Emeralds, with the rarest Powers able on the grid. Time to take down a bunch of bad guys and save everyone from the infamous type of shipping there ever is, with the Seriously Evil Kind.

Note: there is a set of new rules for the use of these specific type of cards; please, consult the additional Rule Card, enclosed with the others in this pack, and add it to the other Rule Cards in the Deck. Zap It Up!

TSSSF Sonichu Deck is required for playing the game with all of the cards in this pack. This pack contains 19 cards

===TSSSF IdeaGuy Corruptions Expansion Pack $26.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-ideaguy-corruptions-expansion-pack-presale/5?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFpack7.jpeg|
File:TSSSFpack8.jpeg|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Massive and Chaotic Turmoils were what IdeaGuy had in mind, but the tables ended up being turned.

Late Octover of 2017 started a life-changing sequence of fated events for me, Chris Chan, and everyone in Dimension C-197, that also crossed into this very Dimension 1218, thanks to this Dimension's IdeaGuy, and his OC self-counterpart in C-197, Johnson Wiles. There were so many Awful things the two of themtogether had wrought up til April, 2018, when the chaos and havoc were finally cleaned up and undone. I have had to develop and learn from Everything that has happened. And in the end of it all, I ended up becoming fully awakened as a Goddess: the CPU Blue Heart of the Commodore Consoles.

And now the the few alternate Sonichus and Rosechus, and some of the events, come into play into the Secret Shipfic Folder. Time to stomp out and undo a bunch of seriously awful events.

This Expansion Pack is a companion to the events Chronicled in ("Sonichu" #13): "The Awakening of a CPU, a.k.a. The IdeaGuy Corruptions".

TSSSF Sonichu Deck or Core Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. Contains 15 cards.

===Sonichu/Rosechu OCs Expansion Pack $36.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/sonichu-rosechu-ocs-expansion-pack-presale/4?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFpack9.jpeg|
File:TSSSFpack10.jpeg|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

With the help of the other Sonichus and Rosechus, we expand our social circles and defensive forces. We also have a lovely party together.

Sonichu, Rosey, and the other found Specials, are not alone in the worlds, as there are many other Sonichus and Rosechus who have their own lives and their own stories to share in our worlds and Dimensions, as well as help us and work with each other. It does astound and please us to have them all with us, together, to be friends, allies, and warriors alike.

The number of these Sonichu and Rosechu OCs that have been made and discovered by their respective Creators, Artists and Authors shows how much love, kindkess and support Sonichu, Rosey, everyone else and I are humbled by and appreciate. The ones featured in this pack are but a small fraction of the vast number. This compilation is one way to show my appreciation to eveyone.

Thank You All.
<3 Chris Chan Sonichu.

TSSSF Sonichu Deck or Core Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. This pack contains 40 cards.

===TSSSF ArizonaSlime Expansion Pack $26.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-arizonaslime-expansion-pack-presale/3?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFpack11.jpeg|
File:TSSSFpack12.jpeg|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Putting an end to the Endless War with SlimeCo.

The show so far: Nightstar Sonichu got ahold of a sample of the Smooze and accidentally got some in her green eye; she then saw into Dimension C-197's Arizona where the worst kind of warfare was going on. Recognizing Phantom Horn and Strawberry Milk as Trolls with Good Hearts, she sends them both to look into the situation. PhH. and S.M. wandered the streets, as they were forced to go into mining slime that was a result of the company of SlimeCo in the city of New Los Angeles City, a.k.a. New Milwaukee, Arizona. After suffering from the violence, hatred and the worst possible kinds of Trolling, having learning their lessons from the experience, they pray for a solution to these set of problems. I show up, personally, to set these ending wheels into motion. -Chris Chan Sonichu.

Mini-comic strip, "Slime and Punishment", chronicling the events prior to this point was written and drawn by Ben Saint.

TSSSF Sonichu Deck or Core Deck are required for playing with this Expansion Pack.

This pack includes 15 cards.

===TSSSF Sonichu Deck [[Chris and money|$67.00]]<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-sonichu-deck-presale/1?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFpack13.jpeg|Magi-Chan [[Creepy stare|smiles at you mercilessly.]]
File:TSSSFpack14.jpeg|
File:TSSSFpack15.jpeg|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder returns with many a powerful Lightning Bolt and Psychic Power.

Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu (Chris Chan Sonichu) is the (in)famous author/creator of Sonichu and Rosechu, and the Nation of Cwcville, VA. Magi-Chan Sonichu is the guardian over the Sonichu and Rosechu species of Pokemon, as well as the Guardian Angel, Mentor and Devoted Husband to Chris Chan Sonichu. Both Chris Chan and Magi-Chan are prolific and powerful, and they also enjoy the finer and simple things in life. Among which, they dabble in Fanfics and Shipping, and inserting themselves where needed. Shipping themselves to make more allies and friends.

But, in this situation, they ship each other, their friends, and their families together, regardless of relation, orientation, species, or harmonious or clashing fur, hair, mane and coat colour combinations.

In order to help them fulfill their efforts and goals in bringing everyone together against the forces that want to harm us, you can help us write perfect and crazy fanfics. You take turns expanding the shipping, joining Sonichus, Rosechus, Humans, Ponies, and what else with Ship cards.

If you are the first to make one of our narrative Goals a reality, you earn the points for that Goal! Of, you also earn the shame and glory (depending on how you look at it) for enabling the penchant for shipping us and our friends and family, but nobody is perfect.

This Deck can be played with or against the original Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder (TSSSF) Core Deck and past-printed Expansion Packs and Promo cards.

This Deck includes a combination of Four Start Cards, and the Goal, Ship and Pony Decks to make this a game many people can play together; contains 172 cards of the finest Lightning and Psychic Power.

(more news here https://www.childrenofkefentse.com/news/3 )

===TSSSF Chris Chan Sonichu Expansion Pack $36.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/chris-chan-sonichu-expansion-pack-presale/9?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFPack16.jpg ‎|
File:TSSSFPack17.jpg ‎|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

I am a [[Retarded|Special]] Half-Human, Half-Sonichu, and I am the CPU Blue Heart of the Commodore Consoles, and I have established friendships and allyships with the other deities. One might complain that I am over-powered, and they'd be right. But we have over-powered villains as well, and I can't take them down alone.

And now, you wield a huge sample of my psychic powers and abilities in your hands in this play on the Shipping Grid. How will my power be served to better help Everyone? This aspect is up to you, and I shall do my best. Zap It Up!

TSSSF Core Deck or Sonichu Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. This pack contains 40 cards.

===TSSSF [[Samurai Pizza Bots]] Expansion Pack $29.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-samurai-pizza-bots-expansion-pack/10?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFPack18.jpg ‎|
File:TSSSFPack19.jpg ‎|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Autobots, Transform and Roll Out! We have to join the battles on the Shipping Grid to keep all of the innocent individuals from being decimated by the Decepticons!

Now, you have the chance to play with a few of the bots of Cybertron in this Expansion Pack featuring [[Son-Chu]], the other local Autobots of Cwcville, and the [[Decepti-Clones|Decepticlones]] of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

Transform the Shipping Grid Today with this pack.

TSSSS [sic] Core Deck or Sonichu Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. This pack contains 21 cards.

=== Sonichu TSSSF Promo Cards 1-18 $15.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/sonichu-tsssf-promo-cards-1-18-presale/11?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>===

<center><gallery>
File:Cwcconvnetioncard.jpeg ‎|
File:4thwallcwccard.jpeg ‎|
File:MediatingMagi-ChanSonichuCard.jpg ‎|
File:MeditatingSylvanaRosechu.jpg ‎|
File:Cryzelcard.jpg ‎|
File:Onlyoncard.jpeg ‎|
File:PsychlightStartCard.jpg ‎|
</gallery></center>

'''Description'''
Can't Wait to get these cards? Don't have enough to make the first order to get a set for free? Well, here is the alternative to getting this lovely set of 18 cards.

=== TSSSF Sonichu Villains Expansion Pack<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-sonichu-villains-expansion-pack-presale/13?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>===

<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFPack20.jpg ‎| Chris probably forgot at this point that Mary Lee Walsh's hair in the comic was grey with a yellow hat on it.
File:TSSSFPack21.jpeg ‎|
File:TSSSFPack22.jpeg ‎|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Villains and Trolls Unite! The time has risen for our retribution against Christian Weston Chandler!

Flash back to 2008 with the Sonichu Villains Expansion Pack, featuring some of the iconic villains from the Sonichu comics (and Chris Chan's life, for real) back to ruin your [[love quest]]! Maybe this time, you can find common ground, agree to disagree. Who says all villain bretheren have cold hearts?

This set is based on past, outdated interpretations and should be enjoyed at that. A Homage to the Classic Chris Chan (and Christine Chan) Sonichu.

This pack was a compilation assembled by "The Sergeant At Arms"; check out his channel on YouTube, and I, Chris Chan Sonichu, personally approve and endorse. This Expansion Pack contains 45 cards.

==Pricing==

While at first these prices seem highly exorbitant, [[Chris and business|the prices are high for a reason.]] With shipping included, Chris is actually selling a few of these packs at a near-loss. The custom card printing company Chris uses offers bulk discounts, however rather than taking in all orders (if there are any) and shipping them out at a determined point in time, Chris instead ships out orders as they come in, adding extra and potentially unneeded costs.
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Pack
! Number of cards
! Pack Price
! Price per card
! Chris's price per card
|-
| TSSSF Sonichu & Rosechu Expansion Pack
| 54
| $41.00
| ~$0.76
| ~$0.27
|-
| TSSSF Nightstar & Friends Expansion Pack
| 45
| $36.00
| $0.80
| ~$0.32
|-
| TSSSF Sonichu/Rosechu Super/Mega Forms Expansion Pack
| 19
| $30.00
| ~$1.58
| ~$0.61
|-
| TSSSF IdeaGuy Corruptions Expansion Pack
| 15
| $26.00
| ~$1.73
| ~$0.50
|-
| Sonichu/Rosechu OCs Expansion Pack
| 40
| $36.00
| $0.90
| ~$0.32
|-
| TSSSF ArizonaSlime Expansion Pack
| 15
| $26.00
| ~$1.73
| $0.50
|-
| TSSSF Sonichu Deck
| 172
| $67.00
| ~$0.39
| ~$0.21
|-
| TSSSF Chris Chan Sonichu Expansion Pack
| 40
| $36.00
| $0.90
| ~$0.32
|-
| TSSSF Samurai Pizza Bots Expansion Pack
| 21
| $29.00
| ~$1.38
| ~$0.55
|-
| Sonichu TSSSF Promo Cards 1-18
| 18
| $15.00
| ~$0.83
| ~$0.41
|-
| TSSSF Sonichu Villains Expansion Pack
| 45
| $36.00
| $0.80
| ~$0.25
|-
!Total
!484 cards
!$378.00
!~$0.78
!~$0.30
|}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>

File:OCCard0.jpg|An expansion set dedicated to Sonichu fan OCs was inspirited by this drawing. Gotta fuck 'em all.
File:OCCard1.jpg|Chris would contact all the artists to collab and send out free copies of fan OC cards to the artists.
File:OCCard2.jpg|
File:OCCard3.jpg|
File:OCCard4.jpg|
File:OCCard5.jpg|
File:OCCard6.jpg|
File:OCCard7.jpg|
File:OCCard8.jpg|
File:OCCard9.jpg|
File:OCCard10.jpg|

</gallery></center>

==See Also==
*[[The Wall of Originals]]
*[[Twilight Sparkle’s Secret Shipfic Folder Solitare Livestreams]]
*[[Cwcvilleshopping.com]]

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Mary Lee Walsh

2020-01-21T04:35:33Z

Rtucker913: /* Fan art */ Look closer at the comics if you don't believe me

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}
{{Template:DeadLinks}}
{{quote|You're not gonna get a [[Girlfriend]], this way or any way.|Mary, as quoted by Chris.<ref>[[Chris emails 2007]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|Enough OLD [[Chris and anger|angst]] against the grey-haired witch-devil, THAT I'VE PUT LONG BEHIND ME...|Chris, lying, in November 2007.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Sonichu07-P38.jpg|thumb|Mary Lee Walsh, as she appears in the [[comic]]. Chris draws her tits almost as big as his fans do.]]

'''Mary Lee Walsh''' is a proto-[[troll]] and former dean of student affairs at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. She thwarted [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] in its early years by allegedly ripping up his [[Attraction Sign]]s, and eventually suspending him from PVCC for a whole year. She is one of the most important people in Chris's life, as she is one of the few people who refused to allow Chris to use his [[autism]] as an excuse for anything he wanted and tried to make him act like a normal human being. This, of course, meant war.

The resulting conflict between Chris and Mary Lee affected Chris so profoundly that she became the sole focus of many early ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Sub-Episodes]]. Even to this day, she is still arguably the supreme villain in the ''Sonichu'' series, a status that even [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] could never match. As such, she is revered and cherished among trolls for her actions, both in real life and in ''Sonichu'' [[fan]] fiction. All hail the Dean!

By early [[2009]], many years after the college suspension episode, Chris had begun to express a desire for reconciliation with Walsh. He began with the [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcon]] of the fictional Mary's name to the slightly less defamatory '''Slaweel Ryam''', implying (and later stating outright) that the character was not related to the real Mary. For several months Chris made conciliatory gestures, including sending a drawing to her house, but her only response was a legal summons. Since then, Chris has accepted that Walsh will never be able to [[Chris_and_remorse#Common_traits_of_a_CWC_apology|truly earn his forgiveness]].

Chris' continued feud with Mary Lee Walsh is illustrative of his propensity to hold severe grudges over seemingly minor incidents. In late [[2013]], '''ten years''' after the August 2003 incident, Chris blamed Mary Lee Walsh in part for his continued decline in a series of [[Facebook]] ramblings, and referred to a [[Wal-Mart]] [[manajerk]] who banned him from the store as a "Mary Lee Walshing Witch Bitch".

Walsh slipped Chris' attention until mid-[[2019]], when she retired, which prompted him to tweet wishing her a peaceful retirement until "her time of [[Chris and death|passing]]", as well as offering "constructive criticism" on how she could have better handled her interactions with him. He followed up asking if she had ever made any recorded statement about his apology drawing from 10 years earlier.

==Mary Lee Walsh in real life==
[[Image:MaryLeeWalshIRLnewsScreenCapture.JPG|thumb|left|Walsh during a TV interview.]]
[[Image:MaryLeeWalsh-IRL.JPG|thumb|right|Contrary to how she is rendered in various media, Mary Lee Walsh is not very promiscuous in person.]]

Walsh was the Dean of Student Affairs at PVCC and a member of the [[Virginia]] Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance.<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20101015023113/http://www.vadv.org/secGetHelp/Directory%20of%20Services/campusprgms_p-z.html] (archived on 15 October 2010)</ref> She has also written a book<ref>http://product.half.ebay.com/The-Freshman-Experience-Creating-College-Success-Piedmont-Virginia-Community-College-by-Mary-L-Walsh-and-Mary-Lee-Walsh-2001-Paperback/2491824&tg=info</ref> about coping with college life, which perhaps unsurprisingly does not advocate attacking one's superiors with magical curses. Chris had first been scolded by her for passing around photocopies of his ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' newsletter, but delivered the most crushing blow when Chris was loitering with his usual [[Attraction Sign]]; [[Chris and reality|according to Chris]], Walsh tore down his sign and told him that he would never get a girlfriend this way, or indeed ''at all''. However true this alleged statement may have been, there is virtually no chance Mary said it, as it would have been highly inappropriate and jeopardized her job.

It should be noted that judging by her e-mail exchanges with Chris, Walsh was anything but hostile towards Chris; quite the opposite, in fact - Versus Chris's version of events, Walsh was entirely reasonable in her conduct towards Chris and his attraction sign escapades.

Chris, being the narcissist he is, disregarded her warnings to stop posting his signs and continued to place this ad for his "love quest" in the main campus building. Walsh, taking umbrage at this clear defiance of her authority, took Chris to her office to discuss the situation with him. What exactly transpired during the meeting is a source of much debate, as the only accounts made public are written by Chris and thus heavily biased. What is known is that during the meeting, [[Chris and reality|Chris pretended to converse out loud with Sonichu]] (relaying what Sonichu "said" to her). Then, after what Chris described as being "talked down...to RUDELY AND HOARSELY," he verbally attacked her in a fit of [[Chris and anger|rage]], going so far as to hex her with the dreaded [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref> Chris was told in no uncertain terms that he couldn't continue his [[Love Quest]] on campus, prompting him to slander Walsh on his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]] and send her an attempt at an intimidating drawing.<ref>[[Autism papers]]</ref> This little stunt got him banned from PVCC for a whole year, and forced to take anger management classes and get psychiatric help before he was readmitted.<ref name="wikipedia">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|User:ChrisChanSonichu]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails#Chris got his degree for Cwcville|Jackie E-mails]]</ref> Any positive effects these may have are not evident.

===In his own words===
{{quotebox|So, as of August, [[2003|Y2K3]], I did [[autism|the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of]], I made a simple [[sign]] that stated, "I am a 21-year-old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year-old SINGLE [[Gal-pal|FEMALE COMPANION]]", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free]], 18-21-year-old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens]], Mary Lee Walsh, a bunch of Non-Blue or [[Niggos|Black]] impersonating [[Jerkop|JERKOPS]], [[Manajerks]] and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #@&*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that [[Love]] Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a [[Sweetheart]] was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, "[[Virginia is for Virgins|VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!]]" was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the [[JERKS|jerks]] of the [[Greene County]] School System during the childhood years of my life. Thank [[Chris and religion|God]] for blessing me with many happy years at [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]] in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.}}

===Emails with Mary===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com''' 
'''Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2004 1:22 PM''' 
'''To: mwalsh@pvcc.edu''' 
'''Subject: Hi again...'''

Mary, I've slept on it, and I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

-I will never hang notes on the wall again. 
-I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan. 
-I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[Scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect). 

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.
</div>

{{quoteboxgreen|
'''From: Mary Lee Walsh <mwalsh@pvcc.edu>''' 
'''To: CWCSonichu@aol.com''' 
'''Sent: Tue, 3 Feb 2004 8:54 am''' 
'''Subject: RE: Hi again...'''

Christian:
Susan Hannifan and I will be able to meet with you on Monday February 9th in my office at 3:00 p.m. I do not have any time this week that works with all of our schedules, so it will have to be next Monday. I normally send students notice of appointments by mail, but you have asked that I correspond to you through email. It is necessary that this meeting take place, so if Monday is not convenient for you please let me know and we will set a time for Wednesday.}}

'''Email to [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]]'''

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com''' 
'''To: Virginia_Sanford@ccpsnet.net''' 
'''Sent: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 3:32:50 PM Eastern Standard Time''' 
'''Subject: Re: Hello'''

Hey, Mrs. Sanford (or should I say Ginny or Virginia), I am delighted to hear from you as well. And It is also good to know that you are still residing at that address. The [[DVD]] is under production, to be completed a few days after February 24, [[2007]] (my 25th Birthday...Yay).

You may be able to help me in a portion of it now; there will be a [[Slideshow]] (projected from my [[PlayStation Portable]]) featuring not only pics of me growing up, but the friends, teachers and relatives I've known and remembered (either from heart, like yourself, as well as yearbook signatures). Anyway, do you remember from the ol' class, Sarah and Micha (the blonde girl with glasses, and the slow-talking african american who Ms. Eckel told over and over [[Hypocrisy|to get his dad to teach him how to shave]])? I remembered both of them from heart, but unfortunately I don't remember their last names, so it's harder to find them in the yearbooks; could you tell me their last names, please?

As for what had happened during PVCC, in a nutshell; about Mid-Summer, 2003, I've realize upon revolation[sic] that I needed a girl friend to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, so with a sign (which I've later realized that it made me look slow-minded; the "R" Word), I've started my Enduring Love Quest. The Dean of Student Serveces[sic], Mary Lee Walsh came out and tore my sign up right in front of me, and said, "You're not gonna get a Girlfriend this way or any way." That *&^%$ SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "Virgina is for Virgins, NOT Lovers".

But it has a happy ending; in Mid-[[2005]], when I've started playing the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] TCG, I met [[Megan Schroeder|this girl]] who upon numerous conversations, art-sharing and secret confidence, I've grown fond of, and my Heart and Soul Recovered from the Serious Emotional and Physical Pain I've endured. Although she's not intrested[sic] in a serious relationship, I still am fond of her, and I'm hoping that she may have a change of heart.

You may learn more about what had happened to me from the Sub-Episodes in my "Sonichu" Comic Book, which I have the legable [''sic''] images uploaded onto my [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]; those Sub-Episodes are based on my Real-Life Events. *[[sigh]]*

Well, that's about it for now; I hope you do well as well. And I will make that DVD copy for you after I've finalized the master copy. Please tell the remaing[sic] faculty who are still working at Providence that I wish them the best as well. I still remember Mrs. Rogers (my ol' computer teacher) when she played as Woodstock in the [[1990s#1996|1996]] "Snoopy" play; that was just fun and cute. :)

Take care;
Christian Weston Chandler, A.K.A. (nickname) Chris Chan.
</div>

==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Sonichu''==
[[Image:MachPunch.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
[[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|Chris is willing to pick up his markers and make hideous porn of people that he hates.]]

Because of all the [[stress]] Mary Lee Walsh caused, Chris brooded and obsessed over his "HEART SHATTERING" defeat and began to re-invent the entire scenario so that he came out as the victor. As such, Walsh began to appear in a lot of Chris's works as a primary antagonist specifically opposing his [[Love Quest]].

{{quote|After the first encounter with Mary, I put her into my comics from the start as MY personal MAIN Adversary, with her hoard[sic] of Impostor Police People, also known as [[Jerkop]]s, and the Notorious [[Count Graduon]] trapped in the glass orb on the scepter she wields.|Chris, in regards to a comic which isn't meant to be about him}}

In the comics, Walsh appears as a literal witch, complete with a broomstick. In an ingenious [[parody]], she is the leader of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], or PVCC. Her sinister deeds are motivated by a [[Chris and Writing|totally unexplained]] hatred of true love and people who seek it, making her a fitting adversary for the heartsick Chris and the deeply monogamous Sonichu. As the "witch of hearts," Walsh's broader goal is to wage war against love itself, although her only tactic is to send [[Jerkop|jerkops]] into [[CWCville]] to beat up anyone engaging in romance (she needed Graduon's help for the later invasions). For no given reason, she considers Chris the most important target of her malign actions and doesn't seem aware of the fact that true love occurs outside of CWCville as well.

Mary's first appearances in the comics are in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], via a brief preview and several short comic strips that don't formally introduce her; her formal debut in the canon is in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. Upon her introduction, Chris and Mary are already bitter enemies, yet Chris never explains the exact source of their hostility beyond stating that she once "shattered" his heart and she is inexplicably frustrated by his dogged persistence in searching for love. It is, however, made immediately clear that their feud has become intensely personal; both characters are fully prepared to fight to the death.

In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] Chris ties together the ancient evil of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] with his own petty grudges by teaming Mary with [[Count Graduon]]. Imprisoned in a magical scepter, Graduon's power is wielded by Walsh for much of the series. Together, Graduon and Walsh represent the dual miseries of his becoming an adult--the trauma of graduating from his beloved [[high school]] and the stress of his disastrous collegiate career. To combat Walsh's powerful new accomplice, in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris gains the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], escalating the original battle between a fat virgin and an old lady to an epic struggle between a horribly drawn Sonic OC and an old lady with a scepter.

During her reign of terror, Walsh threatens the city of CWCville on multiple occasions. In ''Sonichu'' #2, she and Graduon create a golem to stomp the city. Much of the action in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]] involves Chris fending off Walsh's agents, until he and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] finally storm PVCC and liberate the college from her evil, although Mary simply relocates to [[The High School Story|Menchi-Nasu High]] to establish a new base of operations. In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] she floods the town with her army of [[Jerkops]] to stage a coup against Chris and his loyal police force. When this plan begins to collapse, she and Graduon attempt to trap Chris in a [[Dark Mirror Hole]], but are only successful in ensnaring Crystal. When Chris later became stuck in the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], Mary seizes the opportunity and prepares to attack CWCville in her most audacious invasion yet, laying siege with vast armies of [[Decepti-Clones]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and causing untold damage before being defeated by Sonichu. Her evil is finally put to an end in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], when Chris uses the power of the [[Sonichu Balls]] to become [[Collosal Chris-Chan]]. He then destroys Graduon's scepter and easily overpowers her, but instead of killing her (like he killed 100+ innocent people in that very issue) he paralyzes her (seemingly permanently) and sends her to jail.

A consistent theme in Mary's story arc is that she is to blame for almost everything that maligns Chris or CWCville, mirroring Chris's insane belief that the real-life Mary was somehow the singular author of all his misfortunes. Even her conspirators are victims--virtually all of her Jerkops are simply brainwashed against their will, and even co-villain Count Graduon finds her to be selfish and wicked, thinking only of her petty squabbles with Chris and never about helping him get free from his scepter. To labor the point even more, while Chris suggests that some of her followers have good in them and are capable of redemption, Mary herself is pure evil.

===Renaming and retcons===
[[Image:143-MaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|Hslaw Eel Ryam Hctib Hctiw deriah yerg eht liah lla]]

As a result of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], many characters based on real-life figures were renamed. In an act of utmost subtlety, Mary Lee Walsh became "'''Slaweel Ryam'''" or "'''Slaweel the Witch'''". A devious maneuver indeed – as one can see, the name is not ''entirely'' backward, and there are letters missing. Nobody could possibly figure out the connection, unless of course they happened to see the notice posted prominently on the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu.net]] front page detailing the full extent of the name changes. Walsh being one of the primary villains in both the comic and real-life, Chris obviously didn't want to change the name to an entirely unrecognizable form, as that would require originality. The name is an evolution of "'''Hslaw Eel Yram'''", which was Chris's version of MLW in his custom [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] cards; in all likelihood, he had only used the "reverse code" as a means to insult Mary with the card without fear of getting in trouble if someone saw it.

In [[August 2009]], Chris put up a [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys page on CWCipedia entitled "TwoMarys"] in which he tried graspingly to explain the retconning of Mary Lee Walsh's name to Slaweel Ryam. Apparently, the evil Mary Lee Walsh had been Slaweel all along, except Slaweel changed her name from Mary Lee Walsh to Slaweel Ryam later on, while the ''real'' Mary was innocent the whole time. This, of course, makes [[List of Chris's lies|absolutely no sense]] as Chris has changed ''every'' instance of the "evil" Mary's name to Slaweel in the most recent edits of his comics, even during her introduction in ''Sonichu'' #0, where her character is introduced as "Slaweel the Witch" and not Mary Lee Walsh. Chris had essentially created a paradox within his universe, having made a [[:File:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|comic]] where Slaweel, caught by Chris and the police, apologizes to Mary for ruining her good name, but because of the retcon Slaweel hasn't really had a chance to ruin Mary's name in the first place. Another glaring contradiction is that Slaweel says in the apology comic that she's "sorry for using [Mary's] name in vain and when I constructed P.V.C.Citizens, and made [Mary] look a fool for about six years," but on the [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys "TwoMarys" page], this caption appears below a picture of Slaweel Ryam:

{{quote|This Mary later changed her name to Slaweel Ryam, and she was creating witch brew during night hours and sharing them illegally with the bums outside of the building; she was fired from PVCC '''then went on to build PVCCitizens'''.|Chris, demonstrating his inability to create a cohesive plot.}}

==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Soul Calibur''==
{{main|Soul Calibur}}

It is unclear whether or not Chris ever attempted to physically harm Mary Lee Walsh, but in a video he uploaded to [[YouTube]], Chris lives out his fantasy of beating the daylights out of her. Chris creates himself and many other real-life friends and enemies in the [[video game]] ''Soul Calibur III'', so that he can take out his pent-up [[Virgin with rage|rage]] in the most disturbing, passive-aggressive manner possible. It should be noted that Chris appears to struggle with defeating an AI-controlled Mary Lee Walsh on the easiest possible setting.

==Possible reconciliation==
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Notice that Chris isn't sorry for the shit he did to warrant her anger, only that he let someone with her name run around. And why bother having two separate Mary Lee Walshes if he made her Slaweel?]]

Beyond his efforts to retcon the fictional Mary, Chris began re-examining Mary's value to society by describing her good works on CWCipedia, to distinguish her from "Slaweel":

{{quote|This Mary replaced the previous one in mid-2000; she has done a good job with her role as Dean of Student Services. She is Currently and To Be Respected with Open Kindness and Prosperity from ALL the Piedmont Virginia Commuinity College Students, Peers and Employees.|Chris, CWCipedia<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys</ref>}}

The article rambles on and drifts alarmingly far from reality, strongly suggesting he used a quick Google search for "research," detailing this Mary's many achievements and services to Piedmont Virginia Community College. However, the whole piece carries an insincere tone, suggesting Chris was compelled to recognize Mary as a [[reality|real person]] as some sort of therapeutic measure. Keep in mind, however, that he doesn't acknowledge that the ''real woman'' he interacted with wasn't a horned-hat wearing witch; simply that this Mary Lee Walsh was replaced (in the ''real world'') by a good duplicate. In a very sad way, Chris seems to find it easier to rewrite reality than his own fantasy world.

Mary was named on the CWCipedia Chris's first "Woman of The (ANY) Month to Respect with Authority and Kindness" for the month of August.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Christian_Says</ref>

In his edited version of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, he clarifies that he forgave Mary Lee Walsh for her "past misdeeds" (even though Chris himself was entirely at fault in all of their encounters). According to his edits, he also hand-delivered a framed copy of his "apology" to her office, but Mary simply contacted his parents and told them to keep Chris off campus altogether.

From this action, Chris inferred that Mary didn't care about him or their relationship, and Chris was crushed. Also crushed were any hopes of reconciliation, as after this incident Chris soon reverted to precisely the same deranged mindset as before, once again imagining her as somehow orchestrating everything bad that happened to him.

{{quote|Besides which, that b**** "Dean", Mary Lee Walsh, AFTER I personally went over and handed her a Framed Hand-Drawn Apology of my angst against her, SHE SENT ME A TRESPASSING NOTICE! While my family and I did NOT accept it, and sent it back to her, I must say that is one hell of a "Thank You" for going through the trouble and gas usage to Personally Apologize and Make Peace.|Chris, Mailbag 26<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>}}

==Grudge==
[[File:Sept13 Imgur 29.jpg|thumb|right|Voodoo [[LEGO]] Mary. Chris shakes this container and holds it upside down to torment her.]]
Chris's anger toward Mary Lee Walsh continues well over a decade since his [[Attraction Sign]] was torn down at [[PVCC]]. In a series of rambling [[Facebook]] postings made on 2 [[September 2013]], Chris began blaming various people for a temporary ban from [[Wal-Mart]], including Walsh:

{{quote|If it had not been for [[Michael Snyder|Mr. "Manajerk"]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, [[The GAMe PLACe|Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys]], My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By!...And that [[Women's Rights|bitch]], Mary Lee Walsh, with a Cold Heart at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for interfering with my Sweetheart Search, AND Banning me from PVCC!!!|Chris, Facebook, 2 September 2013}}

A few days later, when Chris was conclusively banned from Wal-Mart, he coined the term "Walshing," a verb that evidently means "not accepting autism as an excuse."

{{quote|I have just been intercepted by the "Lady" Manajerk...the bitch has followed the steps of Mr. Snyder now; banned me from the Wal-Mart closest to my own house...She has proven herself to be a cold-hearted, uncaring, uncompassionate, lack-of-understanding, bigoted, discriminating, selfish, Mary Lee Walshing, Witch Bitch!|Chris, Facebook, 6 September 2013}}

On 17 [[December 2014]], [[Apology Letters‎|an apology letter]] that Chris had written to Walsh in [[August 2014]] was leaked. True to form, Chris blames everything on factors supposedly beyond his control, and tries to be condescending and play the victim at the same time. He specifically tries to appease Mary for depicting her in his comic as a witch, operating on the presumption that a university administrator is gravely concerned with the way she is presented in DeviantArt-level Sonic OC garbage drawn by a fat [[Tomgirl|tranny]].

Upon Walsh's retirement, Chris stated that he has left his grudge behind and wished her a nice life, even claiming he didn't recall much about her. However, he immediately followed this up with a passive-aggressive critique of Walsh's conduct, showing he was still upset that she tore the Attraction Sign. He also wanted to know if Walsh had made any statement regarding his 2009 apology, claiming it was added back to his "pile of [[stress]]es".

[[File:MLW Retirement.jpg|thumb|left|PVCC's 46th commencement ceremony, the last before Mary Lee Walsh's retirement.]]
[[File:MLW_retirement.jpg|thumb|center|An announcement for Walsh's retirement party. It is presumed Chris was not invited.]]

==[[:Category:Mary_Lee_Walsh|Fan art]]==
[[Image:Mary-lee-Walsh.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Mass debating|For some reason]], Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]

In Chris's artwork, Mary Lee Walsh has long gray hair and wears a golden helmet with red horns on it. However, it was much shorter than it later became in [[Sonichu 7]], as shown from shots from behind. In the early days of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page it was inferred that Walsh's helmet was in fact a blonde bob cut, and the horns were growing out of her head like those of a devil. Additionally, once it became clear that Chris was viewing the page it became fashionable to mess with him by drawing Mary (whom he despised) as a sexy cartoon succubus who tempted Chris with her body (which he was sure to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to). As a result, the most influential depictions of Mary have been "Rule 34" fan art, depicting her as a voluptuous blonde with devil horns (and occasionally a tail), usually wearing (at most) a skimpy purple miniskirt and thigh-high boots. In the ''Sonichu'' animated series by SpazKid, she was depicted as being physically sexy but having unflattering sexual desires (such as shoving the staff containing Count Graduon up her [[China|china]] to shut him up, and demanding a recording of a minion shoving Chris's medallion up their butt) and speaking with a man's voice.
{{clear}}
{{collapsible
|Gallery; mostly NSFW.
|<gallery perrow=3>
Image:126473378631.JPG
Image:12670593995.JPG
Image:127128115082.jpg
Image:184947 - Chris-chan Jerkops ROSECHU Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG
Image:204421 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.jpg
Image:37820426 mary lee walsh sonichu.jpg
Image:45422 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG
Image:Cc5.jpg
Image:E6224fea4f4247159177c5f48e077b17.jpg
Image:Lesath-Walsh.png
Image:Makeitup.png
Image:Mary Lee Walsh and her world by Plombard.jpg
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by churippu.JPG
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by judassnogger.JPG
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by The Best Sappho.jpg
Image:Mary Xmas by Scarlet Rose.jpg
Image:Maryleewalsh.jpg
Image:Mlw.png
Image:MLW attacks by Plombard.jpg
Image:MLWsis.png
Image:Mlwsonichu34.png
Image:Mlwsonichu342.png
Image:SF page 18 by Plombard.jpg
Image:Sonichu by Plombard.jpg
Image:Curse those damn trolls by amazing toaster-d30xau7.jpg
Image:Sonichu Finale 2 Page 23 by Plombard.jpg
Image:Sonichu fanart Mary Lee Walsh by baddleebadd.jpg
Image:Sonichu VS Mary Lee Walsh.jpg
Image:SonichusiteMary.jpg
Image:Spazkid mary lee walsh.png
Image:The dean in her heaven by Plombard.png
Image:Mlw_avec_colour.PNG
Image:Lost 2010 Fan Art.jpg
</gallery>}}

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=TwoMarys}}
{{Fan art}}
*[[Count Graduon]]
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Retroactive continuity in ''Sonichu'']]
*[[Attraction Sign]]

==External links==
*[http://zabukawaii.deviantart.com/art/The-origin-of-Slaweel-146885649 Fanfiction: The origin of Slaweel]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLCsZpcTSg0 Harry D and the PVCC girls: "Jerkop Bebob"]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZyH5Y9SpQY Harry D's Live Drawing.]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8dAntFOZxg CWC Sketch- MLW Pt 1]

{{Sonichu}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Walsh, Mary Lee}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]