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	<updated>2026-04-12T03:47:41Z</updated>
	<subtitle>User contributions</subtitle>
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	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Tiffany_Gowen&amp;diff=168216</id>
		<title>Tiffany Gowen</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Tiffany_Gowen&amp;diff=168216"/>
		<updated>2013-11-10T14:52:51Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;[[File:Tiffany.jpg|thumb|Unlike Chris, Tiffany has only one face so you know she's honest.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Tiffany Nicole Gowen''' is a &amp;quot;[[Peanuts|Peppermint Patty]]-type&amp;quot;  [[gal pal]] of [[Chris]]'s from [[Manchester High School|high school]], as well as &amp;quot;a bit of a [[Tomgirl|tomboy]]&amp;quot;.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has described their relationship as &amp;quot;close, yet separate&amp;quot; like Charlie Brown and Peppermint Patty.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;dvd5&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[:File:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|DVD, note 5]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In [[2011]], ten years since he last saw Tiffany, Chris made a special [[LittleBigPlanet]] dedication to her, in the hope that she would see it and contact him. He has also started calling her &amp;quot;Tiff&amp;quot; for some reason.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Autism Tutorial]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Tiffany is spoken of highly by Chris, presumably as she is one of the few individuals to willingly show kindness and tolerance for him, whether out of sympathy or genuine good-heartedness. [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|Chris has stated on Facebook]] that he has been attempting to contact Tiffany but has been unable to do so; A leaked email suggests she is disturbed by his activities post-graduation and has purposely made it difficult for Chris to track her down.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Seinor Prom==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's greatest memory of her, which he will never forget,&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;dvd5&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; concerns their [[senior prom]] where Tiffany was dared to play [[America]]'s second favorite game - [[Kick the Autistic|dance the autistic]]: &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|But that night, my trusted &amp;quot;Peppermint Patty&amp;quot;-Type Gal-Pal, Tiffany Gowen, asked me to dance with her. I hesitated at first, but she grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor. We danced for what felt like hours. It was the most pleasant experience of that night, and I thank her for dancing with me then. I hope to return the favor at our [[Manchester High School#Reunion_plans|Reunion]].|Chris, probably bullshitting as usual&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:415-CWCWeekP9 crop 2.jpg|Gazing at Chris during lunch break, Tiffany sees only a child in need.&lt;br /&gt;
File:0487-CWC18th18.jpg|Tiffany (far right) with other gal-pals on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]].&lt;br /&gt;
File:0549-Prom11.jpg|Tiffany consoles [[Barbara]] during [[seinor prom]].&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Graduation==&lt;br /&gt;
Tiffany was the only student to console Chris when he cried and ran away during graduation.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:File:0568-GraduationNote3.jpg|DVD, graduation note 3]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Sweethearts}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{DEFAULTSORT:Gowen, Tiffany}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Gal pals]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=167245</id>
		<title>Son-Chu</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=167245"/>
		<updated>2013-09-11T05:01:55Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{taxpayermoney}} &lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Son-Chu''' was Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple &amp;quot;disconcerting&amp;quot; issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle to be used in a plan to [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|commit]] [[28_October_2011|aggravated assault]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] things to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As of 2013, Son-Chu is no longer in the Chandlers' possession and Chris is currently driving a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|Cadillac Seville]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Backstory==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]&lt;br /&gt;
Since Chris jerks off to ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, &amp;quot;Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; From the [[CWCipedia]]:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The reason why the car is named &amp;quot;Son-Chu&amp;quot; remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and/or Wipe-Out&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;, both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Handicap parking permit==&lt;br /&gt;
Being [[Autism|a high-functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]], lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dashboard==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]&lt;br /&gt;
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's [[Autism|high-functioning life]], he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Vanity plate==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads &amp;quot;[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]&amp;quot;, thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading &amp;quot;UN4EVR&amp;quot; (apparently a statement of support for the U.N.) and &amp;quot;I B MR C&amp;quot; (&amp;quot;I be Mr. C,&amp;quot; as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and [[Barb]] has one named &amp;quot;B WESTON&amp;quot; (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a &amp;quot;[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]&amp;quot; frame.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Bumper stickers==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From left to right:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and [[Sonichu]], and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.&lt;br /&gt;
* Plan 9 Music&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably gets his [[Britney Spears]] CDs from.&lt;br /&gt;
* An [[America]]n Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads &amp;quot;United We Stand&amp;quot;. Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure.&amp;quot; - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. &lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]&amp;quot; - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].&lt;br /&gt;
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. &amp;quot;Come Play With Me!&amp;quot; has been replaced with a &amp;quot;Save [[McIntire Park]]&amp;quot; sticker. Since this is a first time we've seen Son-Chu in quite a while, it's so far impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Car trouble==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris &amp;quot;nearly backed up onto&amp;quot; the store's [[Manajerk|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris [[6 June 2010|loudly denied]]. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Mechanical issues==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]&lt;br /&gt;
It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (A common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|worthless shit]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it. &lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Current status==&lt;br /&gt;
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear; However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the [[28 October 2011|infamous GaMe PLaCe incident]] in October of that year. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's &amp;quot;Sonichu&amp;quot; vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. &amp;quot;[[Honor roll]]&amp;quot; my ass.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].&lt;br /&gt;
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta &lt;br /&gt;
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWCipedia}}&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Car Pranks]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Hot Wheels]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Relics of Fail}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Transformers]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=167244</id>
		<title>Son-Chu</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=167244"/>
		<updated>2013-09-11T05:00:39Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{taxpayermoney}} &lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Son-Chu''' is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple &amp;quot;disconcerting&amp;quot; issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle to be used in a plan to [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|commit]] [[28_October_2011|aggravated assault]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] things to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As of 2013, Son-Chu is no longer in the Chandlers' possession and Chris is currently driving a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|Cadillac Seville]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Backstory==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]&lt;br /&gt;
Since Chris jerks off to ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, &amp;quot;Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; From the [[CWCipedia]]:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The reason why the car is named &amp;quot;Son-Chu&amp;quot; remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and/or Wipe-Out&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;, both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Handicap parking permit==&lt;br /&gt;
Being [[Autism|a high-functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]], lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dashboard==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]&lt;br /&gt;
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's [[Autism|high-functioning life]], he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Vanity plate==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads &amp;quot;[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]&amp;quot;, thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading &amp;quot;UN4EVR&amp;quot; (apparently a statement of support for the U.N.) and &amp;quot;I B MR C&amp;quot; (&amp;quot;I be Mr. C,&amp;quot; as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and [[Barb]] has one named &amp;quot;B WESTON&amp;quot; (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a &amp;quot;[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]&amp;quot; frame.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Bumper stickers==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From left to right:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and [[Sonichu]], and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.&lt;br /&gt;
* Plan 9 Music&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably gets his [[Britney Spears]] CDs from.&lt;br /&gt;
* An [[America]]n Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads &amp;quot;United We Stand&amp;quot;. Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure.&amp;quot; - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. &lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]&amp;quot; - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].&lt;br /&gt;
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. &amp;quot;Come Play With Me!&amp;quot; has been replaced with a &amp;quot;Save [[McIntire Park]]&amp;quot; sticker. Since this is a first time we've seen Son-Chu in quite a while, it's so far impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Car trouble==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris &amp;quot;nearly backed up onto&amp;quot; the store's [[Manajerk|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris [[6 June 2010|loudly denied]]. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Mechanical issues==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]&lt;br /&gt;
It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (A common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|worthless shit]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it. &lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Current status==&lt;br /&gt;
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear; However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the [[28 October 2011|infamous GaMe PLaCe incident]] in October of that year. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's &amp;quot;Sonichu&amp;quot; vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. &amp;quot;[[Honor roll]]&amp;quot; my ass.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].&lt;br /&gt;
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta &lt;br /&gt;
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWCipedia}}&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Car Pranks]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Hot Wheels]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Relics of Fail}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Transformers]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=167243</id>
		<title>Son-Chu</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=167243"/>
		<updated>2013-09-11T04:59:39Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{taxpayermoney}} &lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Son-Chu''' is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple &amp;quot;disconcerting&amp;quot; issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle to be used in a plan to [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|commit]] [[28_October_2011|aggravated assault]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] things to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As of 2013, Son-Chu is no longer in the Chandlers' possession and Chris is currently driving a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992-1997|Cadillac Seville]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Backstory==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]&lt;br /&gt;
Since Chris jerks off to ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, &amp;quot;Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; From the [[CWCipedia]]:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The reason why the car is named &amp;quot;Son-Chu&amp;quot; remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and/or Wipe-Out&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;, both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Handicap parking permit==&lt;br /&gt;
Being [[Autism|a high-functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]], lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dashboard==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]&lt;br /&gt;
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's [[Autism|high-functioning life]], he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Vanity plate==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads &amp;quot;[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]&amp;quot;, thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading &amp;quot;UN4EVR&amp;quot; (apparently a statement of support for the U.N.) and &amp;quot;I B MR C&amp;quot; (&amp;quot;I be Mr. C,&amp;quot; as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and [[Barb]] has one named &amp;quot;B WESTON&amp;quot; (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a &amp;quot;[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]&amp;quot; frame.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Bumper stickers==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From left to right:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and [[Sonichu]], and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.&lt;br /&gt;
* Plan 9 Music&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably gets his [[Britney Spears]] CDs from.&lt;br /&gt;
* An [[America]]n Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads &amp;quot;United We Stand&amp;quot;. Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure.&amp;quot; - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. &lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]&amp;quot; - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].&lt;br /&gt;
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. &amp;quot;Come Play With Me!&amp;quot; has been replaced with a &amp;quot;Save [[McIntire Park]]&amp;quot; sticker. Since this is a first time we've seen Son-Chu in quite a while, it's so far impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Car trouble==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris &amp;quot;nearly backed up onto&amp;quot; the store's [[Manajerk|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris [[6 June 2010|loudly denied]]. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Mechanical issues==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]&lt;br /&gt;
It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (A common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|worthless shit]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it. &lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Current status==&lt;br /&gt;
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear; However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the [[28 October 2011|infamous GaMe PLaCe incident]] in October of that year. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's &amp;quot;Sonichu&amp;quot; vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992-1997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. &amp;quot;[[Honor roll]]&amp;quot; my ass.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].&lt;br /&gt;
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta &lt;br /&gt;
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWCipedia}}&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Car Pranks]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Hot Wheels]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Relics of Fail}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Transformers]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=167242</id>
		<title>Son-Chu</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=167242"/>
		<updated>2013-09-11T04:59:10Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{taxpayermoney}} &lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Son-Chu''' is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple &amp;quot;disconcerting&amp;quot; issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle to be used in a plan to [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|commit]] [[28_October_2011|aggravated assault]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] things to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As of 2013, Son-Chu is no longer in the Chandlers' possession and Chris is currently driving a white [[Cadillac Seville#1992-1997|Cadillac Seville]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Backstory==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]&lt;br /&gt;
Since Chris jerks off to ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, &amp;quot;Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; From the [[CWCipedia]]:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The reason why the car is named &amp;quot;Son-Chu&amp;quot; remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and/or Wipe-Out&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;, both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Handicap parking permit==&lt;br /&gt;
Being [[Autism|a high-functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]], lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dashboard==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]&lt;br /&gt;
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's [[Autism|high-functioning life]], he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Vanity plate==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads &amp;quot;[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]&amp;quot;, thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading &amp;quot;UN4EVR&amp;quot; (apparently a statement of support for the U.N.) and &amp;quot;I B MR C&amp;quot; (&amp;quot;I be Mr. C,&amp;quot; as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and [[Barb]] has one named &amp;quot;B WESTON&amp;quot; (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a &amp;quot;[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]&amp;quot; frame.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Bumper stickers==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From left to right:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and [[Sonichu]], and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.&lt;br /&gt;
* Plan 9 Music&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably gets his [[Britney Spears]] CDs from.&lt;br /&gt;
* An [[America]]n Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads &amp;quot;United We Stand&amp;quot;. Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure.&amp;quot; - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. &lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]&amp;quot; - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].&lt;br /&gt;
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. &amp;quot;Come Play With Me!&amp;quot; has been replaced with a &amp;quot;Save [[McIntire Park]]&amp;quot; sticker. Since this is a first time we've seen Son-Chu in quite a while, it's so far impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Car trouble==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris &amp;quot;nearly backed up onto&amp;quot; the store's [[Manajerk|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris [[6 June 2010|loudly denied]]. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Mechanical issues==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]&lt;br /&gt;
It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (A common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|worthless shit]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it. &lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Current status==&lt;br /&gt;
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear; However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the [[28 October 2011|infamous GaMe PLaCe incident]] in October of that year. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's &amp;quot;Sonichu&amp;quot; vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992-1997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. &amp;quot;[[Honor roll]]&amp;quot; my ass.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].&lt;br /&gt;
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta &lt;br /&gt;
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWCipedia}}&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Car Pranks]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Hot Wheels]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Relics of Fail}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Transformers]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=167241</id>
		<title>Son-Chu</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=167241"/>
		<updated>2013-09-11T04:57:27Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Current status */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{taxpayermoney}} &lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Son-Chu''' is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple &amp;quot;disconcerting&amp;quot; issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle to be used in a plan to [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|commit]] [[28_October_2011|aggravated assault]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] things to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris no longer drives Son-Chu as of February 2012.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Facebook statuses]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Backstory==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]&lt;br /&gt;
Since Chris jerks off to ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, &amp;quot;Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; From the [[CWCipedia]]:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The reason why the car is named &amp;quot;Son-Chu&amp;quot; remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and/or Wipe-Out&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;, both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Handicap parking permit==&lt;br /&gt;
Being [[Autism|a high-functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]], lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dashboard==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]&lt;br /&gt;
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's [[Autism|high-functioning life]], he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Vanity plate==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads &amp;quot;[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]&amp;quot;, thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading &amp;quot;UN4EVR&amp;quot; (apparently a statement of support for the U.N.) and &amp;quot;I B MR C&amp;quot; (&amp;quot;I be Mr. C,&amp;quot; as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and [[Barb]] has one named &amp;quot;B WESTON&amp;quot; (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a &amp;quot;[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]&amp;quot; frame.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Bumper stickers==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From left to right:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and [[Sonichu]], and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.&lt;br /&gt;
* Plan 9 Music&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably gets his [[Britney Spears]] CDs from.&lt;br /&gt;
* An [[America]]n Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads &amp;quot;United We Stand&amp;quot;. Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure.&amp;quot; - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. &lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]&amp;quot; - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].&lt;br /&gt;
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. &amp;quot;Come Play With Me!&amp;quot; has been replaced with a &amp;quot;Save [[McIntire Park]]&amp;quot; sticker. Since this is a first time we've seen Son-Chu in quite a while, it's so far impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Car trouble==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris &amp;quot;nearly backed up onto&amp;quot; the store's [[Manajerk|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris [[6 June 2010|loudly denied]]. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Mechanical issues==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]&lt;br /&gt;
It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (A common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|worthless shit]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it. &lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Current status==&lt;br /&gt;
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear; However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the [[28 October 2011|infamous GaMe PLaCe incident]] in October of that year. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's &amp;quot;Sonichu&amp;quot; vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992-1997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. &amp;quot;[[Honor roll]]&amp;quot; my ass.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].&lt;br /&gt;
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta &lt;br /&gt;
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWCipedia}}&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Car Pranks]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Hot Wheels]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Relics of Fail}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Transformers]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=JERKS&amp;diff=166371</id>
		<title>JERKS</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=JERKS&amp;diff=166371"/>
		<updated>2013-07-08T01:37:37Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;[[Image:140-AJerk.jpg|thumb|Chris even divides his [[trading card game]] monsters into JERKS and females.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:141-JerksLoiteringLot.jpg|thumb|Jerks like to loitering around public areas harassing people. Which Chris would [[Love Quest|never]] [[The GAMe PLACe|do]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|Always remember: Others may hate you. But those who hate you don't win, unless you hate them. And then, you destroy yourself.|[[wikipedia:Richard Nixon|Richard Nixon]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|Well, I do not like the majority of the male population regardless. The straight ones take the women away. The damn [[homo]] males not only [tried to push their gross ways onto me, but have emotionally and mentally devastated me in their shit [[Troll]]/Cyber-Bully ways, and they have mislabeled me and [[Sonichu]] as such. Damned males piss me the hell off.|Chris, in a [[Facebook]] post}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''JERK''' is [[Chris's]] term for men in general, including those who are not [[niggos]], [[homos]], or [[jerkops]]. The canonical definition is &amp;quot;a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]]&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Story of My Current Days]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
For example, Chris labeled every single one of his male [[MySpace]] friends as a jerk in his personal list. A few &amp;quot;respectable males&amp;quot; are apparently exempt from jerk status, such as [[George W. Bush]] and [[Barack Obama]] (and possibly [[Congrats, Jack Black|Jack Black]]).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
One reason is the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Use as a denominator==&lt;br /&gt;
Although he has defined the term &amp;quot;jerk&amp;quot; to mean all men save him and his father, the usage of the term seems to apply to any person who gets in the way of Chris doing something that he wants to do. If Chris wants [[china]] and can't get it because the object of his affection has a significant other, that significant other is a jerk. Chris wanted to win the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], but [[Adam Stackhouse]] got in the way, therefore he is a jerk — allegedly because he broke the rules of the contest and used music, actually because he spoiled Chris's plans for sex with [[Megan Schroeder]]. Whether your intention was to obstruct Chris's efforts or not, you are a jerk for presenting a barrier to his goal.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Even being more talented than Chris, or more socially well-adjusted (no great feat, considering Chris) is enough to make one a jerk in [[The Creepy Stare|Chris's eyes]]. Men with girlfriends did not specifically intend to cock-block Chris; they only did what well-adjusted people do and asked out a girl they liked. Adam Stackhouse simply made a good video for a competition he wanted to win and had no intention of thwarting an autistic's plans to seduce his best friend (again, the ''PaRappa'' Showdown). In Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|self-centered]] way of thinking, though, they were all out to get him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Use as a prefix/suffix==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris derides certain professions by using &amp;quot;jerk&amp;quot; as a prefix (as with [[jerkop]]) or a suffix (as with [[manajerk]]). The addition of the prefix/suffix comes from their actions which, again, prevented Chris from getting what he wanted. Never mind the fact that managers and police officers are simply doing their job when they stop creepy patrons from [[Attraction sign|soliciting members of the public for sex]]. They have obstructed his quest for [[china]] and so are jerks. Due to [[Chris and the Law|repeated encounters]] with these professions, Chris has taken to describing any member of their ranks as a jerk.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Varying usage==&lt;br /&gt;
Despite the fact that Chris has openly declared that '''all''' men are jerks, in practice he doesn't seem to automatically apply the term to every man he meets. [[Robert Simmons V]] was held in some regard before he turned troll against Chris. [[Joseph Herring]] was considered a high school friend (although Chris drew him as an ugly, zit-scarred freak in his comic). Chris considered [[Joshua Martinez]] a friend (though he still tried to get [[ED]] to ruin him) as long as he thought Josh would help him score some china. John Schroeder, [[Megan]]'s brother, was even the main character in one of Chris's fake [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|video games]]. Once again, however, that was probably a side-effect of Chris's lust for Megan.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Chris as the embodiment of JERK==&lt;br /&gt;
[[wikipedia|Wiktionary]] defines a [[wiktionary:jerk|jerk]] as &amp;quot;a person with [[Chris and anger|unlikable]] or [[Chris and his Ego|obnoxious]] [[Chris and race|qualities]] and [[Women's rights|behavior]], [[Death threats|typically]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|mean]], [[Christian Love Day (video)|self-centered]] or [[List of places that have banned Chris|disagreeable]], and [[Honor roll|often not very intelligent]].&amp;quot; Ironically, or perhaps better put, [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritically]], Chris's actions make him more deserving of the term &amp;quot;jerk&amp;quot; than most people he applies it to.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==The list of males Chris doesn't hate==&lt;br /&gt;
The most recent version of T.L.O.M.C.D.H. was provided in [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|Chris's annotations to his ED article]]. There it goes as follows:&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Chris]] himself&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Bob Chandler|His father]]&lt;br /&gt;
# &amp;quot;[[Santa Clause]]&amp;quot; [sic]&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Jesus]]&lt;br /&gt;
# [[God]]&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Barack Obama|The President of the United States]]&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Molvanîa|All the World Leaders]]&lt;br /&gt;
# ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
However, in the same [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|annotations]], Chris confusingly states that his [[noviophobia]] is &amp;quot;Out-Of-Date&amp;quot;. He goes on to say that he only hates trolls and &amp;quot;da haytahs&amp;quot; now, but also states that he is cool with the &amp;quot;Hating 99% of the World's Men&amp;quot; theory. In any case, the list is at least applicable to ''some'' point in Chris's biography, even if he [[Lies|&amp;quot;got over it.&amp;quot;]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Not_Jerks}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWC-isms}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_television&amp;diff=166370</id>
		<title>Chris and television</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_television&amp;diff=166370"/>
		<updated>2013-07-08T01:34:32Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;[[Image:126052012913.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Sonichu]], coming soon on ''[[Family Guy]]''.]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.|[[Wikipedia:Bill Hicks|Bill Hicks]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|I Watch TOO MUCH FUCKING TELEVISION!!!|Chris&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Television (TV)''' is a widely used telecommunication medium for transmitting and receiving moving images, and a staple in almost all North American homes. It's also one of the favorite pastimes of our [[Chris|mutual friend]]. Indeed, when not &amp;quot;[[Fridays After Five|socializing]]&amp;quot;, [[mass debating]], or [[PS3|playing video games]], it's a fairly safe bet Chris is sitting down and watching TV. [[Chris and health| Lots and lots of TV]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris gets most of his information concerning the outside world through TV, among other entertainment media. This leads to blatantly ripping off concepts and characters from whatever he watches.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Taste in TV ==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|A [[Ghostbusters|&amp;quot;classic&amp;quot; children's show]]]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|Chris enjoys [[Gilligan's Island|ancient sitcoms]] thanks to his parents]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Most of Chris's television staples are fairly predictable. A bland mush of animation and [[random-access humor]] is rampant, with shows like ''[[Family Guy]]'', ''American Dad!'', and ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' holding his attention for hours. Indeed, Chris is such a devotee to this generic comedy that he bought [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|tons of their episodes]] via the [[PSN]], for a [[Chris and money|sizable amount of money.]] [[Adult Swim]] is another big favorite of our autistic hero &amp;amp;mdash; he even entered [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|one of their contests]], and [[Adult_Swim_posts#Chris_on_his_Harvey_Birdman_contest_entry_.28April_2005.29|raged when he didn't win]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Anime]] is another area where Chris's choices are very transparent. ''Shuffle!'' is essentially a tale of a somewhat unlikable guy [[Women's rights|suddenly being accosted by several obedient and attractive females.]] ''[[Wikipedia:Gunslinger Girl|Gunslinger Girl]]'' is essentially a slightly [[Pedofork|unnerving]] bit of softcore eroticism. ''[[Excel Saga]]'', while generally regarded favorably, is chock-full of in-jokes and [[parody]], some things Chris cannot understand but is eager to copy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Certain bizarre choices do stick out, however. ''[[Monty Python]]'' has been [[CWCFlyingElephants|brought up]] or '[[Merried Seinor Comic|referenced]]' several times, along with [[Some Favored Comedians|comedian]] [[Red Skelton]], and ''[[I Love Lucy]]''. The former feature's absurdity probably piqued Chris's interest, while the final two are probably an offset of his decrepit parents.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has also shown an affinity for some darker movies, the most jarring being the ''[[Saw]]'' series. He rarely mentions the movies, though it's possible their influence led to the events of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where the [[Asperpedia|Asperpedia 4]] were executed via elaborate death traps. Well, elaborate by [[Autism|Chris's standards]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Mods Chris uploaded to [[ModNation Racers]] indicates he's a fan of the raunchy cartoon series ''[[Wikipedia:Drawn Together|Drawn Together]]'' for [[Mass debating|obvious reasons.]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Netflix ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{main|Netflix}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris uses Netflix to satisfy his TV watching needs instantaneously, enabling him to reach a near-comatose state of mental saturation. Put in more practical terms, he spent more than six fucking hours watching TV in a single day. Twice. In terms of averages, Chris watches roughly three hours of television a day, at least for the week viewed.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Netflix#Queues_on_21_November_2009&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The huge selection and 'Instant Watch' feature, combined with Chris's need to...[[mass debate]], has led to some interesting choices in film. To date, he has rented ''[[Wikipedia:Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy|Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy]]'', ''Story of O'', ''[[Virgin with rage|Virgin]]'', and many more titles with sexual names. Considering Netflix doesn't deal in porn, he's wasting his time. Other than these porno hunts and impulse rentals, Chris is pretty much interested in only two types of programs &amp;amp;mdash; cartoons and [[Random-access humor|comedy]], displaying a remarkably [[Autism|narrow range of interests]]. The only movie that really stands out in his selections is ''[[Homos|Twilight]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Netflix has also allowed him easier access to the cartoons of his childhood. [[Transformers]] and [[Sonic]] are the most prominent. The apparent binge of Transformers-related television may have been the &amp;quot;[[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]]&amp;quot; behind Sonichu 9.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Fan videos==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Infobox/Fanvideo&lt;br /&gt;
| name           = Chris-Chan the Sitcom&lt;br /&gt;
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|4MEcrWM0y5g}}&lt;br /&gt;
| Stardate       = 27 [[April 2010]]&lt;br /&gt;
| Maker          = MycalFelps &lt;br /&gt;
| Subject        = [[Image:television.png]] Television&lt;br /&gt;
}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Lime/Sonichu TV Tropes Article|TV Tropes Wiki article on &amp;quot;Sonichu&amp;quot;]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Fandoms]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Chris and}}&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Monthly_tugboat&amp;diff=166356</id>
		<title>Monthly tugboat</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Monthly_tugboat&amp;diff=166356"/>
		<updated>2013-07-07T02:26:17Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{taxpayermoney}} &lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Welfare's purpose should be to eliminate, as much as possible, the need for it's own existence.|[[Wikipedia:Ronald Reagan|Ronald Reagan]], who is likely turning in his grave right now.}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|it's a [[Random-access humor|fun story]]. anyway, you know the expression, &amp;quot;Our ship has come in,&amp;quot; well that refers to a HUGE one-time amout of money, which can compare to a Luxury Ship that can easily sink. and a Tugboat is more reliable, because even though it's smaller, it's built tougher, and it's usually better on time in that sense. so, I refer to my monthly income as a Tugboat, whereas I would refer to say winning the Lottery as a Luxary Ship. Chalk that idea up to a spot of [[Autism|creative thinking]]. :)|Chris's autistic explanation for his Tugboat}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:CWC eugenics.png|thumb|300px|$2000+ a day is what [[Chris|this person]] suffering from [[autism|hereditary defects]] costs the People's community during his lifetime. Comrade, that is your money too.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Monthly Tugboat.jpg|thumb|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWCism|euphemism]] for his [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|Social Security Disability Insurance]] payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://ssa.gov/pubs/calendar.htm]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Essentially, the U.S. government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support disabled individuals whose injuries or ailments affect their ability to earn a living wage. Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check isn't a need-based welfare check, nor is it meant to replace a paycheck for someone who is unable to work. Chris's disability check is meant to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job (the best he could hold down) and provide him enough money to live on his own{{cite}}. Chris, of course, chooses not to work and mooches off his mother instead, blowing his tugboat on [[video games]]. Unfortunately, this doesn't disqualify him from receiving disability.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In 2010, Chris received $809 each month, with $580 going to his parents for room, board, and to pay toward his credit card debt.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The rest of it generally goes towards [[List of Chris's video games|video games]], junk food, or [[sex toys|straight up his ass]]. However, $229 per month (about $7.50 per day) is nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for games, porn, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of [[McDonald's|Chicken McNuggets]], gallons of [[Coke]], and, since the summer of [[2009]], [[alcohol]]. As of [[January 2010]], he owed roughly $3,500 in credit card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents. Indeed, according to one of his bank statements,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010.jpg]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; at the end of one month he had less than three dollars left in his account. Even more, just by straight spending and no other extra income, he put himself $452.57 in the red.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting his taxpayer-funded &amp;quot;tugboat&amp;quot;, because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; This is a tremendous leap of faulty rationalization, even for Chris, and he fails to elaborate on his shaky economic theories in any detail. If you thought he didn't understand money before, [[Chris and Money|you ain't seen nothing yet]]. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Another thing to take into consideration is that while Chris spends a chunk of his social security on American products like McDonald's, Chris spends most of it on video games. The problem is his game systems ([[PSP|Sony PSP]], [[Wii|Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii]], and [[PS3|Sony PS3]]), come from Japanese companies. Yes, these companies have American bases and a very small amount is produced in the U.S., but the majority is produced, developed and imported from Japan. So the money he spends goes to the retailer, which goes to the employees wages and fixed costs of the retailer's expenses that keep it functioning, which will be possibly be spent in America thus be put into the U.S. economy, the rest will given to the foreign company's employees and fixed costs that keep ''them'' functioning, which will be spent in Japan, thus being put back into Japan's economy. However, if Chris was an [[Hexbox|Xbox]] consumer, the majority of it would be put back into the U.S. economy, as Microsoft's Xbox is a U.S. based company, with a majority of its products being developed and manufactured in the U.S. and a large majority of it employees being Americans. In the same way buying a car from American brands like GM, Ford, and Chrysler, stimulates the U.S. economy, and buying a foreign car like Honda, BMW, and Kia, doesn't and stimulates ''their'' foreign economies, Chris could help the economy by getting over his irrational hatred of Xbox.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Autism-costs.jpg|thumb|left|This is true.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On the advice of [[Bob Chandler|his dead father]], Chris doesn't get a job, supposedly because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob was totally wrong. At the time of this writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life, get off disability, and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly income before taxes and rent payment would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, enough for many more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulls in annually from the government after paying off his parents.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that an [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|SSDI]] beneficiary could have earned from $700 a month in the year [[2000]], when Chris was eighteen, to $1,000 a month in [[2010]] without losing a cent of their SSDI payments.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; It's clear that Bob's decision to encourage Chris's unemployment comes from negligence, ignorance, blind delusion, or the knowledge that his son is a total failure who can bring nothing but shame on himself and his family. His enabling has caused Chris to miss out on over $100,000 in potential earnings through the end of 2010, which could buy a lot of [[Muscle bra|bras]], [[Sex toys|fake china]], [[My Little Pony|children's toys]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Lego-covered PS3 accessories]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If Bob's motivation came from the reasonable assumption that Chris could never survive in an real-world workplace environment, of course, one wonders why [[Fridays After Five|he kept unleashing Chris to run amok on an unsuspecting public]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the [[Father Call]], Chris claims that his disability check is &amp;quot;a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out.&amp;quot; Given Chris's tendency to waste his free money on frivolous shit rather than put it towards anything that might improve his life, he was probably just telling Kacey's father what he thought he wanted to hear.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his eighties, given reasonable &amp;quot;cost of living&amp;quot; increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $1,000,000 over his lifetime from the American taxpayer. In this day and age, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career; of course, it's [[Chris and health|extremely unlikely]] that he will live anywhere near that long.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Since Bob's death, it's not known how much of Chris's tugboat goes to his mother to spend on &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;boxes of useless clutter&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; necessary items, but given that they asked for cash donations in Bob's obituary, she probably has to take most of it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References by Chris==&lt;br /&gt;
* The earliest known use of the term &amp;quot;monthly tugboat&amp;quot; was in March [[2007]] in Chris's first e-mail to his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]]. When introducing himself, Chris says, &amp;quot;I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat.&amp;quot; He does not actually explain what a &amp;quot;monthly tugboat&amp;quot; is supposed to be.&lt;br /&gt;
* An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Adam_Stackhouse_wins.2C_Chris_is_a_horrible_cheater_and_likes_Megan_.22so_much.22|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' with his latest tugboat check.&lt;br /&gt;
* During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to &amp;quot;Miyamoto&amp;quot; himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.&lt;br /&gt;
* In [[Mumble 1|Mumble #1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.&lt;br /&gt;
* In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|BlueSpike PSN Chat #4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.&lt;br /&gt;
* Since late 2009, [[Chris]] seemed to have mostly given up the term &amp;quot;tugboat&amp;quot;, possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the [[Mumble]] chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]], he refers to it as his &amp;quot;monthly income&amp;quot;, while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a &amp;quot;tugboat&amp;quot; in [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]].&lt;br /&gt;
* The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12|BlueSpike Skype logs]], quoted at the top of the page shine a light on the origin of the term.&lt;br /&gt;
*In one of the [[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie chat logs]], he wrote about the reason he deserves the welfare:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|&lt;br /&gt;
[7:47 pm] CWC: Originally, I was given that blessing through [[Bob|my father]], on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a job, which I have told you I disagree with fully.&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:48 pm] CWC: Yesterday, I have actually asked [[God]] the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my [[Stress|trials and tribulations]] in my life.&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:48 pm] CWC: God responded...&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:48 pm] CWC: He told me that he blessed me because he saw me as one of the appreciative and [[Chris and English|less richer]] people, so he gave me that blessing through the approval.&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:49 pm] [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]: ???&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:49 pm] CWC: And I also asked him about the Job situation; why have I not been able to get a job then?&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: that doesnt make sense&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:50 pm] CWC: he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit.&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:50 pm] CWC: I don't know.&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:50 pm] Jacklyn Romy: thats not my understanding of how God works&lt;br /&gt;
}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|i mean, are you sure you heard him correctly? no one I know has EVER heard God tell them &amp;quot;hey, just sit back and do nothing, i'll hand you a job and money so you can just play games all day&amp;quot;|Jackie, destroying Chris with sound logic.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Autism]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Chris and money]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWC-isms}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:CWC-isms]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Monthly_tugboat&amp;diff=166355</id>
		<title>Monthly tugboat</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Monthly_tugboat&amp;diff=166355"/>
		<updated>2013-07-07T02:25:39Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{taxpayermoney}} &lt;br /&gt;
{[quote|Welfare's purpose should be to eliminate, as much as possible, the need for it's own existence.|[[Wikipedia:Ronald Reagan|Ronald Reagan]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|it's a [[Random-access humor|fun story]]. anyway, you know the expression, &amp;quot;Our ship has come in,&amp;quot; well that refers to a HUGE one-time amout of money, which can compare to a Luxury Ship that can easily sink. and a Tugboat is more reliable, because even though it's smaller, it's built tougher, and it's usually better on time in that sense. so, I refer to my monthly income as a Tugboat, whereas I would refer to say winning the Lottery as a Luxary Ship. Chalk that idea up to a spot of [[Autism|creative thinking]]. :)|Chris's autistic explanation for his Tugboat}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:CWC eugenics.png|thumb|300px|$2000+ a day is what [[Chris|this person]] suffering from [[autism|hereditary defects]] costs the People's community during his lifetime. Comrade, that is your money too.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Monthly Tugboat.jpg|thumb|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWCism|euphemism]] for his [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|Social Security Disability Insurance]] payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://ssa.gov/pubs/calendar.htm]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Essentially, the U.S. government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support disabled individuals whose injuries or ailments affect their ability to earn a living wage. Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check isn't a need-based welfare check, nor is it meant to replace a paycheck for someone who is unable to work. Chris's disability check is meant to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job (the best he could hold down) and provide him enough money to live on his own{{cite}}. Chris, of course, chooses not to work and mooches off his mother instead, blowing his tugboat on [[video games]]. Unfortunately, this doesn't disqualify him from receiving disability.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In 2010, Chris received $809 each month, with $580 going to his parents for room, board, and to pay toward his credit card debt.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The rest of it generally goes towards [[List of Chris's video games|video games]], junk food, or [[sex toys|straight up his ass]]. However, $229 per month (about $7.50 per day) is nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for games, porn, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of [[McDonald's|Chicken McNuggets]], gallons of [[Coke]], and, since the summer of [[2009]], [[alcohol]]. As of [[January 2010]], he owed roughly $3,500 in credit card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents. Indeed, according to one of his bank statements,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010.jpg]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; at the end of one month he had less than three dollars left in his account. Even more, just by straight spending and no other extra income, he put himself $452.57 in the red.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting his taxpayer-funded &amp;quot;tugboat&amp;quot;, because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; This is a tremendous leap of faulty rationalization, even for Chris, and he fails to elaborate on his shaky economic theories in any detail. If you thought he didn't understand money before, [[Chris and Money|you ain't seen nothing yet]]. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Another thing to take into consideration is that while Chris spends a chunk of his social security on American products like McDonald's, Chris spends most of it on video games. The problem is his game systems ([[PSP|Sony PSP]], [[Wii|Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii]], and [[PS3|Sony PS3]]), come from Japanese companies. Yes, these companies have American bases and a very small amount is produced in the U.S., but the majority is produced, developed and imported from Japan. So the money he spends goes to the retailer, which goes to the employees wages and fixed costs of the retailer's expenses that keep it functioning, which will be possibly be spent in America thus be put into the U.S. economy, the rest will given to the foreign company's employees and fixed costs that keep ''them'' functioning, which will be spent in Japan, thus being put back into Japan's economy. However, if Chris was an [[Hexbox|Xbox]] consumer, the majority of it would be put back into the U.S. economy, as Microsoft's Xbox is a U.S. based company, with a majority of its products being developed and manufactured in the U.S. and a large majority of it employees being Americans. In the same way buying a car from American brands like GM, Ford, and Chrysler, stimulates the U.S. economy, and buying a foreign car like Honda, BMW, and Kia, doesn't and stimulates ''their'' foreign economies, Chris could help the economy by getting over his irrational hatred of Xbox.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Autism-costs.jpg|thumb|left|This is true.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On the advice of [[Bob Chandler|his dead father]], Chris doesn't get a job, supposedly because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob was totally wrong. At the time of this writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life, get off disability, and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly income before taxes and rent payment would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, enough for many more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulls in annually from the government after paying off his parents.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that an [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|SSDI]] beneficiary could have earned from $700 a month in the year [[2000]], when Chris was eighteen, to $1,000 a month in [[2010]] without losing a cent of their SSDI payments.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; It's clear that Bob's decision to encourage Chris's unemployment comes from negligence, ignorance, blind delusion, or the knowledge that his son is a total failure who can bring nothing but shame on himself and his family. His enabling has caused Chris to miss out on over $100,000 in potential earnings through the end of 2010, which could buy a lot of [[Muscle bra|bras]], [[Sex toys|fake china]], [[My Little Pony|children's toys]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Lego-covered PS3 accessories]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If Bob's motivation came from the reasonable assumption that Chris could never survive in an real-world workplace environment, of course, one wonders why [[Fridays After Five|he kept unleashing Chris to run amok on an unsuspecting public]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the [[Father Call]], Chris claims that his disability check is &amp;quot;a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out.&amp;quot; Given Chris's tendency to waste his free money on frivolous shit rather than put it towards anything that might improve his life, he was probably just telling Kacey's father what he thought he wanted to hear.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his eighties, given reasonable &amp;quot;cost of living&amp;quot; increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $1,000,000 over his lifetime from the American taxpayer. In this day and age, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career; of course, it's [[Chris and health|extremely unlikely]] that he will live anywhere near that long.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Since Bob's death, it's not known how much of Chris's tugboat goes to his mother to spend on &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;boxes of useless clutter&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; necessary items, but given that they asked for cash donations in Bob's obituary, she probably has to take most of it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References by Chris==&lt;br /&gt;
* The earliest known use of the term &amp;quot;monthly tugboat&amp;quot; was in March [[2007]] in Chris's first e-mail to his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]]. When introducing himself, Chris says, &amp;quot;I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat.&amp;quot; He does not actually explain what a &amp;quot;monthly tugboat&amp;quot; is supposed to be.&lt;br /&gt;
* An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Adam_Stackhouse_wins.2C_Chris_is_a_horrible_cheater_and_likes_Megan_.22so_much.22|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' with his latest tugboat check.&lt;br /&gt;
* During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to &amp;quot;Miyamoto&amp;quot; himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.&lt;br /&gt;
* In [[Mumble 1|Mumble #1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.&lt;br /&gt;
* In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|BlueSpike PSN Chat #4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.&lt;br /&gt;
* Since late 2009, [[Chris]] seemed to have mostly given up the term &amp;quot;tugboat&amp;quot;, possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the [[Mumble]] chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]], he refers to it as his &amp;quot;monthly income&amp;quot;, while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a &amp;quot;tugboat&amp;quot; in [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]].&lt;br /&gt;
* The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12|BlueSpike Skype logs]], quoted at the top of the page shine a light on the origin of the term.&lt;br /&gt;
*In one of the [[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie chat logs]], he wrote about the reason he deserves the welfare:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|&lt;br /&gt;
[7:47 pm] CWC: Originally, I was given that blessing through [[Bob|my father]], on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a job, which I have told you I disagree with fully.&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:48 pm] CWC: Yesterday, I have actually asked [[God]] the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my [[Stress|trials and tribulations]] in my life.&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:48 pm] CWC: God responded...&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:48 pm] CWC: He told me that he blessed me because he saw me as one of the appreciative and [[Chris and English|less richer]] people, so he gave me that blessing through the approval.&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:49 pm] [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]: ???&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:49 pm] CWC: And I also asked him about the Job situation; why have I not been able to get a job then?&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: that doesnt make sense&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:50 pm] CWC: he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit.&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:50 pm] CWC: I don't know.&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[7:50 pm] Jacklyn Romy: thats not my understanding of how God works&lt;br /&gt;
}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|i mean, are you sure you heard him correctly? no one I know has EVER heard God tell them &amp;quot;hey, just sit back and do nothing, i'll hand you a job and money so you can just play games all day&amp;quot;|Jackie, destroying Chris with sound logic.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Autism]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Chris and money]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWC-isms}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:CWC-isms]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_his_ego&amp;diff=166353</id>
		<title>Chris and his ego</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_his_ego&amp;diff=166353"/>
		<updated>2013-07-07T01:29:38Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Origins */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (English Revised Version)]], really hitting the nail on the head}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:0858-Cwcville7.JPG|thumb|Chris's self-image.]]&lt;br /&gt;
'''Egotism''', out of all of [[Chris]]'s flaws, is the most important and self-destructive. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved wife, children and home)]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Origins==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Wikipedia:Tori Amos|Tori Amos]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again home-grown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris_and_reality#Outside_of_the_comics|He grew up in a different world.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, but Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for the better part of a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and people let him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===The enablers===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. I was truly a miracle.|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a thirty-year-old man with autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as &amp;quot;high functioning&amp;quot; as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems, from emotional disorders to mental retardation, live far more independently than Chris does.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
For children like Chris, public school special education is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on &amp;quot;buy-in.&amp;quot; Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Monthly tugboat===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Main|Chris and money}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}} &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris receives welfare from the government; a [[monthly tugboat|&amp;quot;monthly tugboat&amp;quot;]] as he calls it. Although intended for people who were unable to work, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[Video games]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle—and thus his world view—sustainable.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch &amp;amp; Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|two-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.  &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[An Official Sonichu Update]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
:&amp;quot;Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}}&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris, who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' as icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion has led him to believe that he has a legion of fans; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirm it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Narcissistic personality disorder==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST artist's depiction]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|Narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for]] [[Barbara|admiration]], and [[Autism|lack]] [[Chris and remorse|of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by [[PVCC|early adulthood]] and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following: &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1.has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Art|exaggerates]] [[Honor roll|achievements]] [[CADD|and]] [[Sonichu (comic)|talents]], expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]])&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2.is preoccupied with fantasies of [[Sonichu|unlimited success]], [[CWCville|power]], [[Honor roll|brilliance]], [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the ground up|ideal love]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3. believes that he or she is [[Autistic|&amp;quot;special&amp;quot;]] and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]] (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4. requires excessive [[Fanbase|admiration]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5. has a sense of [[Barbara|entitlement]], i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] [[Honor Roll|favorable]] treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., [[Cole Smithey|takes advantage of others]] to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan|feelings and needs]] [[Wallflower|of others]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Manifestations==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's egotism manifests itself in many ways.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Unwarranted self-importance===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. &amp;quot;Of course,&amp;quot; you say, &amp;quot;he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]].&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Barbara|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*I will never hang notes on the wall again.&lt;br /&gt;
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.&lt;br /&gt;
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0&amp;amp;#61;No Respect...10&amp;amp;#61;Respect).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Please reply via E-Mail.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Christian C.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[True and Loyal Fanbase|E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;  &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The instant-gratification, instant-acknowledgment, and instant-attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
He also describes himself as &amp;quot;managing the varsity team&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; in high school, when actually he was waterboy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Persecution complex===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint CWC the Martyr.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he &amp;quot;takes responsibility for&amp;quot; are still out of his hands. His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[troll]]ing, among other things.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote &amp;quot;Dean of Student Services,&amp;quot; Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, &amp;quot;You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE.&amp;quot; MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It doesn't help that he's engaged in a quagmire of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, THAT IS MY HOUSE}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], to [[Autism|being the social outcast we all know and hate]]) thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Naïveté===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're [[trolls|against him]]. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk—even from professionals—about the similarities between [[Asperger Syndrome]] and [[autism]], denies that there are any shortcomings in his [[Sonichu (comic)|work]], and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris- getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening [[Sonichu|his]] [[Copyright|identity]]. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start a [[CWCki|wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris' gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would tell if we end up seeing Chris [[Cosplay|cosplaying]] or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. It's pretty obvious that Chris has only done this because he believes that [[Naive|he'll score with Jackie sooner or later]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to &amp;quot;learn&amp;quot; to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure.  However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an animal. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Hubris: the pride before the fall===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a narcissist]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, this attitude has transcended self-confidence and erupted into full-blown hubris: Chris is convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[Chris and art|art]] are not just competitive with his peers, but clearly superior.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] to have some sort of horror befall them.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also [[Barbara|extremely sheltered]], he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing [[CWCville|elaborate fantasy worlds]]. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of [[CWCville]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided [[homos]] are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is &amp;quot;parody of a parody&amp;quot;. As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking the trolls.He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4th June, 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Materialism===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website, more than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is [[Naïve|delusional]]. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting [[money]] for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his [[tugboat]] than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Tender misanthropy===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A &amp;quot;tender misanthrope&amp;quot; is, by definition, &amp;quot;someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people&amp;quot;. In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Another part of the definition states that &amp;quot;a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people]] through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making&amp;quot;. The way that Chris treats [[homos]], seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that &amp;quot;cures&amp;quot; homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Disregard of rules of conduct online===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Paranoia===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
One of the worst things that comes out of Chris's ego is his bloated sense of paranoia. As mentioned above, Chris has taken to withholding certain information from trolls like an animal being shocked by a shock collar. However, this line of thinking has pushed Chris into believing that the entire world is out to get him. In early days, it was actually simple - [[Jerkops]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] were conspiring to stop him from succeeding in his [[Love Quest]]. However, after the incident with [[The Wallflower]] and the realization that there's entire webpages devoted to him, it's caused him to see things in a bigger, yet disturbing picture.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As such, Chris has decided to become a recluse, refusing to make friends with anyone unless he knew him in the real world. However, this is a double-edged sword as Chris refuses to interact with anyone in the real world as well. In the real world, if someone spotted Chris and knew him by name, even if they had heard of him from whatever remaining place is left for him to go to, he panics and runs, fearing that the person is actually a troll seeking to spread more information about him across the Internet. As well, if someone wanted to contact Chris through other means, even if that person had no idea who Chris was or what Sonichu was or anything that the trolls had done, Chris will shut them out because he doesn't know who they are and thus, has relegated them to the title of &amp;quot;troll&amp;quot;.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A perfect example of this was revealed in a series of [[Facebook]] screenshots. While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted him, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was &amp;quot;communicating with his own kind&amp;quot; by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, [[Chris and Hypocrisy|ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Surrendering Information===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is [[CWCki|this entire wiki]], which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a [[Trolls|'true and loyal fanbase']], and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and surrender [[Honest Content|information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without even provocation. [[DIRTY_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|The ongoing Soiled Underpants Saga]] is the shining example of this.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to lose his virginity, he couldn't help but announce it on his [[Facebook]] page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] [[Jackie|result]] of his [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]]), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway,) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the [[The Wallflower| first time]] it's happened.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on [[Facebook]], and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath- somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris as well. One post in particular revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply for the reason of Mimms being a &amp;quot;[[JERK]].&amp;quot; The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Fishing For Sympathy===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is [[Father Call]], where Chris constantly talks about the &amp;quot;trials and tribulations&amp;quot; in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter ''(note that said &amp;quot;trials and tribulations&amp;quot; amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.)'' In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with [[Jackie]], Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], [[Chris and Hypocrisy|being a hypocrite]] and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his [[Facebook]] entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The attention he gets from his mother, [[Barbara Chandler]], and his friend, [[Anna McLerran]] is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents ''(notably well past the point of social acceptance)'', to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his being [[Autism|autistic]], has poisoned Chris' mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the [[Kick the Autistic|heavy burdens he faces daily]], almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==War against the ego==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the [[white knight]]s. These [[slow-in-the-minds|misguided souls]] have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]], and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], became a troll when she couldn't get through to Chris.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word &amp;quot;counselor,&amp;quot; she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are [[video games]] to buy).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be [[Kacey]], who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry [[Liquid Chris]], but not before having her father point out [[Father Call|every single thing that is wrong with Chris.]] A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==&lt;br /&gt;
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[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}&lt;br /&gt;
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{{clear}}&lt;br /&gt;
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==References==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Chris and}}&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Homos&amp;diff=166352</id>
		<title>Homos</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Homos&amp;diff=166352"/>
		<updated>2013-07-07T00:59:04Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun Fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|If you have an issue with homosexuality, then it comes from your own fear and your own darkness.|[[Wikipedia:Tori Amos|Tori Amos]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|I Am Straight; Vaginas and Boobies Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.|[[Chris]].&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 31]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|I put a condom on the dildo and actually did put it up my, uh, A-hole. Uh...and uh, in my humble opinion, it just did not feel right to me. And uh, the anal beads, I just put 'em in there and they were, it's like... in. Not so stiff. So it was just that one time, then they got covered in poo, and I just, I put them in the trash can.|Chris.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/BlueSpike_PSN_Chat_3&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From the very beginning of his [[Internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone &amp;quot;[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|STAY STRAIGHT]]&amp;quot; have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Fear of being a homo==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0067-Christian&amp;amp;Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|&amp;quot;Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a [[Tomgirl|gender change operation]].&amp;quot;|Chris. &amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;E-mail to Megan, &amp;quot;I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's homophobia is just that: He is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be &amp;quot;leered off the straight path.&amp;quot; His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word &amp;quot;gay&amp;quot; or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for &amp;quot;homo&amp;quot;. He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being &amp;quot;freaked out&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC's Second Message]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;ReferenceA&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; his [[Dating education|Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to prevent people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fails at it), using anything from the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Hatred of homos==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word &amp;quot;gay&amp;quot;, being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like &amp;quot;[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]&amp;quot;|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris further went on to propose a bizarre form of conversion therapy where all gay men would be imprisoned and made to sleep with both female offenders and prostituites, thereby &amp;quot;reprogramming&amp;quot; them. Interestingly, a certain Herr Himmler had a similar idea, suggesting that &amp;quot;pink triangle&amp;quot; concentration camp prisoners be forced to sleep with (female) camp prostitutes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|[they would be] taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts.|Chris, 2 January 2009, 12:01.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On [[CWC Update 18 February 2009|February 18, 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects &amp;quot;the gay people&amp;quot; like he respects his [[Gal pal|gal pals]] and his [[List of Chris's sweethearts|sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|10 March 2009]] Chris was [[Chris and religion|reciting verses from the Bible]] to justify his position against homos.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 14 [[June 2009]], he created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s song &amp;quot;Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There&amp;quot; from [[Wikipedia:The Garden Party|the pilot episode]] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called ''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', and insisted that he likes gays who &amp;quot;ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''.&amp;quot; This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than ''LBP''), an author of several blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] [[Kim]]'s boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|&amp;quot;I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head.&amp;quot;|Chris. &amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but God forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 8 July 2009, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/08/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/#comment-241496&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
His Avitar…&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|July 26, 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call &amp;quot;gay&amp;quot; a synonym for &amp;quot;stupid.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the [[Mailbag]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the &amp;quot;homo gene&amp;quot; (An idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the &amp;quot;straight gene&amp;quot;, and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Wikipedia: Sonderbehandlung|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). This storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the &amp;quot;cure&amp;quot; to turn every gay person on Earth straight. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with [[Vivian]]'s [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Thank you.|Chris.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On Christmas Day, [[2009]], the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any &amp;quot;homo trolls&amp;quot; talking behind his back.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Around New Year [[2010]], Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an &amp;quot;ex-gay&amp;quot; ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that [[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|''Avatar'']] was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts - in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous &amp;quot;respect&amp;quot; for gays is nothing but idle words.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris responded to a [[Mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be [[Chris and the Law|arrested and fined heavily.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Then, on 7 January, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, &amp;quot;Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian.&amp;quot; That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 12 January, Chris appeared to soften his stance, saying that &amp;quot;Firstly, I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within [[CWCville|Cwcville]], yet gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Of course, it's not clear how gays can have &amp;quot;equal relationship rights&amp;quot; if they can't marry, but Chris tends to be pretty weak on logic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He is for the lifting of the ban so that &amp;quot;[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]].&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 15 [[August 2010]], [[Bob]] showed the same kind of hatred and prejudice as his son does for &amp;quot;DA HOMOS&amp;quot;. In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob said that he believed that a few homosexual kids were working alongside [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] and [[Megan]] to get Chris banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On the February 5th, 2012 entry on his [[Facebook_statuses|Facebook page]], he mentions buying Napoleon Dynamite because he learned 'that homo Andy Dick' didn't star in it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In a [[Facebook]] post on March 29th, 2013, Chris threw a tantrum over media coverage of homosexual unions. Ironically, he showed support towards lesbian couplings, which would totally defeat the purpose of his [[sweetheart]] search since that would mean he'd have even ''more'' competition for single women.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Views on lesbianism==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Whereas Chris' discomfort with homosexual males has been fairly consistent, his views on lesbianism have vacillated. In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, &amp;quot;[[The High School Story]]&amp;quot;, his Mary Sue character Terrah LeAnne Yowman is ridiculed as a lesbian by kids at her high school, because she hangs around with male friends all the time. As the work serves as a backstory to the villanous [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], Terrah may have served as a fictional parallel to the endless accusations of homosexualty lodged by Chris' detractors, illustrating Chris' worldview of implied homosexuality as an insult.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|She felt angry when she heard &amp;quot;Lesbian&amp;quot;; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[Creepy stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight [[Christian Weston Chandler|Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|&amp;quot;[[The High School Story]]&amp;quot;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 25 July 2009, Chris produced a [[CWC &amp;quot;Boyfriend&amp;quot;|rambling and nonsensical video]] to the tune of Avril Lavigne's &amp;quot;Girlfriend&amp;quot;. In the middle of the video, Chris sings about the importance of &amp;quot;being straight&amp;quot; and intersprses a &amp;quot;STAY STRAIGHT&amp;quot; caption on a photo of a lesbian couple split in two.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|&lt;br /&gt;
Hey! Hey! You! You!&lt;br /&gt;
I know that you like me!&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, you! Hey, you!&lt;br /&gt;
You need to be straight, girl!&lt;br /&gt;
Hey! Hey! You! You!&lt;br /&gt;
I want to be your boyfriend! }}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Later, Chris would begin to revise his former hard-line attitude against lesbians. In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as &amp;quot;a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cwcipedia: Sonichu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Cwcipedia]]: &amp;quot;Sonichu&amp;quot;&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cwcipedia: Sonichu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Chris most likely shoehorned a lesbian character into ''Sonichu'' to appear more tolerant, although his attempt comes off as half-hearted in light of his continual derision of gay men.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In [[Mumble 1]], Chris declares his support for lesbians and reiterates his simultaneous hatred for gay men, stating how he hates [[JERKS]] in general, and how a porn DVD helped to soften his view on lesbians. In effect, Chris supports lesbians solely because women are beautiful and men are icky.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion...I've uh talked to others before with uh, [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], my uh s-s-Sarah, my girlfriend. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 28 [[March 2013]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook#Gay Marriage |Facebook message]] whining about repeat media coverage of the Supreme Court's [[:wikipedia:Hollingsworth v. Perry|Proposition 8]] and [[:wikipedia:United States v. Windsor|DOMA]] deliberations. In it, he reiterates his support for lesbians and his offense to &amp;quot;the damn homosexual males&amp;quot;.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Evidence that Chris might be gay==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't fail at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ironically, the harder Chris [[I am STRAIGHT|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the gayer he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying &amp;quot;I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would [[Tomgirl|rather be female]] than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mumble 1]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* He collected [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.&lt;br /&gt;
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Call 1|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.&lt;br /&gt;
* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal pal|&amp;quot;friends&amp;quot;]] were female and he never slept with any of them.&lt;br /&gt;
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say &amp;quot;Christian is gay.&amp;quot; Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.&lt;br /&gt;
* In the chat where [[Julie Reveals Herself]], when [[Bluespike|Max]] told Chris to suck his dick, Chris asked, &amp;quot;How can I do yours if I'm all the way over here?&amp;quot; instead of simply saying &amp;quot;No.&amp;quot; Also, later on in the same chat, Chris attempted to show Max his [[Duck|duck]] when the latter began to taunt him with claims that he had a [[China|pussy.]] While you might be thinking that it's a typical knee-jerk reaction from Chris, an [[Julie_Reveals_Herself:_The_Prequel|earlier chat]] reveals a part where Chris ''offers'' to show Max his dick.&lt;br /&gt;
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for &amp;quot;a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.&lt;br /&gt;
* Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] &amp;quot;in a heartbeat,&amp;quot; including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; &lt;br /&gt;
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* Chris once drew [[Sonichu]], a male character, on his [[duck]].&lt;br /&gt;
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Jackie E-mails 5]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Jackie E-mails 6]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.&lt;br /&gt;
* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam &amp;amp; Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.&lt;br /&gt;
* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.&lt;br /&gt;
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt &amp;quot;will feel good.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
* On [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.&lt;br /&gt;
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.&lt;br /&gt;
* When [[Julie_Reveals_Herself|Julie finally revealed herself]] as a [[pedofork|13 year old boy]], Chris's immediate response was &amp;quot;I did not know you were a 13 year old!&amp;quot; making it sound like he's shocked by the age but not the least bit concerned about the fact that he's a boy.&lt;br /&gt;
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|close-up picture of his anus]].&lt;br /&gt;
* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].&lt;br /&gt;
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.&lt;br /&gt;
* His best man at [[CWC's &amp;quot;It's All Coming Back To Me&amp;quot;|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.&lt;br /&gt;
* He sang &amp;quot;I Love the Nightlife&amp;quot; on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one cover of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].&lt;br /&gt;
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.&lt;br /&gt;
* When you look up &amp;quot;Homosexuality&amp;quot; in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).&lt;br /&gt;
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of [[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|''Sex and the City'']] (the film) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.&lt;br /&gt;
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about &amp;quot;impure&amp;quot; homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he &amp;quot;[has] had this problem too,&amp;quot; and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.&lt;br /&gt;
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving all the characters a free makeover.&lt;br /&gt;
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his &amp;quot;straight blood&amp;quot; to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from the virus, implying that Chris is &amp;quot;infected&amp;quot; with homosexuality if his blood could be used to make a vaccine.&lt;br /&gt;
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called &amp;quot;A Man's Toy&amp;quot;, which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says &amp;quot;Tea parties are good and nice&amp;quot; on the rear end of the carriage.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a penis.&lt;br /&gt;
* In the above same Trollin Train post he mentioned achieving [[Semen|Comeuppance]] before vomiting, indicating he had an erection, and thus was sexually aroused from being sodomized by a man.&lt;br /&gt;
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Punchylaylalove.jpg wearing panties and a bra].&lt;br /&gt;
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee &amp;amp; Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks like an erect penis. &lt;br /&gt;
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].&lt;br /&gt;
* He [[Tomgirl|voluntarily dressed up as a woman]], went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals and vice-versa, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public. When [[Bob]] learned of Chris's crossdressing, his immediate response was to call him a &amp;quot;fag&amp;quot;.&lt;br /&gt;
* On the 29th April, 2012, Chris 'reveals' that the gay camp experience story he made up as [[JenkinsJinkies]] was a fake. Aside from the fact that [[Naive|absolutely nobody fell for this at all]], it does leave this question: Out of all of the stories that Chris could have made up under a fake identity, why did he go with one where he gets sodomized at [[Pedofork|seven]]?&lt;br /&gt;
* [[It%27s_not_that_cold|This video]], where Chris infamously says, &amp;quot;Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me.&amp;quot; Take note that Chris is dressed in a mini-skirt and hikes it up to reveal his grotesque man ass at the camera, indicating that he'd like to be taken from behind.&lt;br /&gt;
* Whenever anyone calls Chris out on his [[Women's rights|objectification of women's bodies]], he is always quick to back-pedal and say he appreciates women more for their personalities, unaware that personalities are the key reason for relationships between gay men and their female friends.&lt;br /&gt;
* Chris created a modified version of the song &amp;quot;Don't Trust Them New [[Niggos|Niggas]] Over There&amp;quot; from ''The Boondocks'' called &amp;quot;[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]&amp;quot;. However, the character who sings the original song is Uncle Ruckus, a self-loathing black man. This makes Chris look like a self-loathing homosexual.&lt;br /&gt;
*The fact that he uses the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to keep himself straight, implies he has homosexual thoughts and fantasies that he wants to keep in check. The irony of the fact that he thinks staring hard enough at a poster of a gay icon will magically suppress these homoerotic urges is lost on him.&lt;br /&gt;
* After [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] became Chris's equal and opposite as the result of the latter's brief immersion in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], he turned openly gay.  One would think that this logically means Chris is straight, except for the fact that it's made clear that the two differ only in their openness, not their homosexuality.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Defenses against becoming a homo==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[Sex toys|vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]&lt;br /&gt;
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off temptations of homosexuality. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris also subscribes to ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;ReferenceA&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; He also clarifies that one needs not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
To prevent future homos, he also encourages women not to drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In ''[[Kill De Jack]]'', Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: He covers a section of his &amp;quot;[[CWC-ism|computer]]&amp;quot; (We can assume that he means &amp;quot;computer screen&amp;quot;) with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Considering the large amount of blatantly homoerotic activities Chris has engaged in, it's a safe bet to say he's a self-hating closeted homosexual, and no amount of defenses will stop the man-child's suppressed urges.&lt;br /&gt;
 &lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|-Matthew 28, [[Chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read, nor wouldn't care to read.]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|&amp;quot;If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|having sex with THREE WOMEN?&amp;quot;]]]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Masturbating and squirtin']]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;I'm straight, don't doubt me!&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[PS3 History Level]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]].&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Curiously, in his own [[A Public Announcement for Congress|campaign ad]], Chris announced a promise of &amp;quot;gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations.&amp;quot; Suffice to say, this has not helped him in the polls.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Chris and sex]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Chris and religion]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Gaybian]] (a &amp;quot;male lesbian&amp;quot;, according to Chris)&lt;br /&gt;
* [[It's UGH!]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Rainbow]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Magi-Chan]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Heather Iglesias]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Tomgirl]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External links==&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it.]&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-chan is sick of the lies!]&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong.]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWC-isms}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Homos]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Homos&amp;diff=166351</id>
		<title>Homos</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Homos&amp;diff=166351"/>
		<updated>2013-07-07T00:58:35Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun Fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|If you have an issue with homosexuality, then it comes to your own fear and your own darkness.|[[Wikipedia:Tori Amos|Tori Amos]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|I Am Straight; Vaginas and Boobies Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.|[[Chris]].&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 31]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|I put a condom on the dildo and actually did put it up my, uh, A-hole. Uh...and uh, in my humble opinion, it just did not feel right to me. And uh, the anal beads, I just put 'em in there and they were, it's like... in. Not so stiff. So it was just that one time, then they got covered in poo, and I just, I put them in the trash can.|Chris.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/BlueSpike_PSN_Chat_3&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From the very beginning of his [[Internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone &amp;quot;[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|STAY STRAIGHT]]&amp;quot; have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Fear of being a homo==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0067-Christian&amp;amp;Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|&amp;quot;Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a [[Tomgirl|gender change operation]].&amp;quot;|Chris. &amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;E-mail to Megan, &amp;quot;I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's homophobia is just that: He is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be &amp;quot;leered off the straight path.&amp;quot; His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word &amp;quot;gay&amp;quot; or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for &amp;quot;homo&amp;quot;. He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being &amp;quot;freaked out&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC's Second Message]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;ReferenceA&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; his [[Dating education|Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to prevent people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fails at it), using anything from the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Hatred of homos==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word &amp;quot;gay&amp;quot;, being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like &amp;quot;[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]&amp;quot;|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris further went on to propose a bizarre form of conversion therapy where all gay men would be imprisoned and made to sleep with both female offenders and prostituites, thereby &amp;quot;reprogramming&amp;quot; them. Interestingly, a certain Herr Himmler had a similar idea, suggesting that &amp;quot;pink triangle&amp;quot; concentration camp prisoners be forced to sleep with (female) camp prostitutes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|[they would be] taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts.|Chris, 2 January 2009, 12:01.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On [[CWC Update 18 February 2009|February 18, 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects &amp;quot;the gay people&amp;quot; like he respects his [[Gal pal|gal pals]] and his [[List of Chris's sweethearts|sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|10 March 2009]] Chris was [[Chris and religion|reciting verses from the Bible]] to justify his position against homos.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 14 [[June 2009]], he created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s song &amp;quot;Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There&amp;quot; from [[Wikipedia:The Garden Party|the pilot episode]] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called ''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', and insisted that he likes gays who &amp;quot;ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''.&amp;quot; This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than ''LBP''), an author of several blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] [[Kim]]'s boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|&amp;quot;I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head.&amp;quot;|Chris. &amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but God forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 8 July 2009, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/08/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/#comment-241496&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
His Avitar…&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|July 26, 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call &amp;quot;gay&amp;quot; a synonym for &amp;quot;stupid.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the [[Mailbag]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the &amp;quot;homo gene&amp;quot; (An idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the &amp;quot;straight gene&amp;quot;, and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Wikipedia: Sonderbehandlung|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). This storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the &amp;quot;cure&amp;quot; to turn every gay person on Earth straight. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with [[Vivian]]'s [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Thank you.|Chris.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On Christmas Day, [[2009]], the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any &amp;quot;homo trolls&amp;quot; talking behind his back.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Around New Year [[2010]], Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an &amp;quot;ex-gay&amp;quot; ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that [[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|''Avatar'']] was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts - in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous &amp;quot;respect&amp;quot; for gays is nothing but idle words.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris responded to a [[Mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be [[Chris and the Law|arrested and fined heavily.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Then, on 7 January, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, &amp;quot;Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian.&amp;quot; That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 12 January, Chris appeared to soften his stance, saying that &amp;quot;Firstly, I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within [[CWCville|Cwcville]], yet gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Of course, it's not clear how gays can have &amp;quot;equal relationship rights&amp;quot; if they can't marry, but Chris tends to be pretty weak on logic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He is for the lifting of the ban so that &amp;quot;[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]].&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 15 [[August 2010]], [[Bob]] showed the same kind of hatred and prejudice as his son does for &amp;quot;DA HOMOS&amp;quot;. In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob said that he believed that a few homosexual kids were working alongside [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] and [[Megan]] to get Chris banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On the February 5th, 2012 entry on his [[Facebook_statuses|Facebook page]], he mentions buying Napoleon Dynamite because he learned 'that homo Andy Dick' didn't star in it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In a [[Facebook]] post on March 29th, 2013, Chris threw a tantrum over media coverage of homosexual unions. Ironically, he showed support towards lesbian couplings, which would totally defeat the purpose of his [[sweetheart]] search since that would mean he'd have even ''more'' competition for single women.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Views on lesbianism==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Whereas Chris' discomfort with homosexual males has been fairly consistent, his views on lesbianism have vacillated. In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, &amp;quot;[[The High School Story]]&amp;quot;, his Mary Sue character Terrah LeAnne Yowman is ridiculed as a lesbian by kids at her high school, because she hangs around with male friends all the time. As the work serves as a backstory to the villanous [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], Terrah may have served as a fictional parallel to the endless accusations of homosexualty lodged by Chris' detractors, illustrating Chris' worldview of implied homosexuality as an insult.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|She felt angry when she heard &amp;quot;Lesbian&amp;quot;; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[Creepy stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight [[Christian Weston Chandler|Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|&amp;quot;[[The High School Story]]&amp;quot;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 25 July 2009, Chris produced a [[CWC &amp;quot;Boyfriend&amp;quot;|rambling and nonsensical video]] to the tune of Avril Lavigne's &amp;quot;Girlfriend&amp;quot;. In the middle of the video, Chris sings about the importance of &amp;quot;being straight&amp;quot; and intersprses a &amp;quot;STAY STRAIGHT&amp;quot; caption on a photo of a lesbian couple split in two.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|&lt;br /&gt;
Hey! Hey! You! You!&lt;br /&gt;
I know that you like me!&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, you! Hey, you!&lt;br /&gt;
You need to be straight, girl!&lt;br /&gt;
Hey! Hey! You! You!&lt;br /&gt;
I want to be your boyfriend! }}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Later, Chris would begin to revise his former hard-line attitude against lesbians. In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as &amp;quot;a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cwcipedia: Sonichu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Cwcipedia]]: &amp;quot;Sonichu&amp;quot;&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cwcipedia: Sonichu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Chris most likely shoehorned a lesbian character into ''Sonichu'' to appear more tolerant, although his attempt comes off as half-hearted in light of his continual derision of gay men.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In [[Mumble 1]], Chris declares his support for lesbians and reiterates his simultaneous hatred for gay men, stating how he hates [[JERKS]] in general, and how a porn DVD helped to soften his view on lesbians. In effect, Chris supports lesbians solely because women are beautiful and men are icky.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion...I've uh talked to others before with uh, [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], my uh s-s-Sarah, my girlfriend. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 28 [[March 2013]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook#Gay Marriage |Facebook message]] whining about repeat media coverage of the Supreme Court's [[:wikipedia:Hollingsworth v. Perry|Proposition 8]] and [[:wikipedia:United States v. Windsor|DOMA]] deliberations. In it, he reiterates his support for lesbians and his offense to &amp;quot;the damn homosexual males&amp;quot;.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Evidence that Chris might be gay==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't fail at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ironically, the harder Chris [[I am STRAIGHT|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the gayer he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying &amp;quot;I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would [[Tomgirl|rather be female]] than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mumble 1]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* He collected [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.&lt;br /&gt;
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Call 1|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.&lt;br /&gt;
* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal pal|&amp;quot;friends&amp;quot;]] were female and he never slept with any of them.&lt;br /&gt;
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say &amp;quot;Christian is gay.&amp;quot; Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.&lt;br /&gt;
* In the chat where [[Julie Reveals Herself]], when [[Bluespike|Max]] told Chris to suck his dick, Chris asked, &amp;quot;How can I do yours if I'm all the way over here?&amp;quot; instead of simply saying &amp;quot;No.&amp;quot; Also, later on in the same chat, Chris attempted to show Max his [[Duck|duck]] when the latter began to taunt him with claims that he had a [[China|pussy.]] While you might be thinking that it's a typical knee-jerk reaction from Chris, an [[Julie_Reveals_Herself:_The_Prequel|earlier chat]] reveals a part where Chris ''offers'' to show Max his dick.&lt;br /&gt;
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for &amp;quot;a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.&lt;br /&gt;
* Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] &amp;quot;in a heartbeat,&amp;quot; including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; &lt;br /&gt;
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* Chris once drew [[Sonichu]], a male character, on his [[duck]].&lt;br /&gt;
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Jackie E-mails 5]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Jackie E-mails 6]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.&lt;br /&gt;
* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam &amp;amp; Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.&lt;br /&gt;
* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.&lt;br /&gt;
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt &amp;quot;will feel good.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
* On [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.&lt;br /&gt;
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.&lt;br /&gt;
* When [[Julie_Reveals_Herself|Julie finally revealed herself]] as a [[pedofork|13 year old boy]], Chris's immediate response was &amp;quot;I did not know you were a 13 year old!&amp;quot; making it sound like he's shocked by the age but not the least bit concerned about the fact that he's a boy.&lt;br /&gt;
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|close-up picture of his anus]].&lt;br /&gt;
* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].&lt;br /&gt;
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.&lt;br /&gt;
* His best man at [[CWC's &amp;quot;It's All Coming Back To Me&amp;quot;|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.&lt;br /&gt;
* He sang &amp;quot;I Love the Nightlife&amp;quot; on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one cover of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].&lt;br /&gt;
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.&lt;br /&gt;
* When you look up &amp;quot;Homosexuality&amp;quot; in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).&lt;br /&gt;
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of [[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|''Sex and the City'']] (the film) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.&lt;br /&gt;
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about &amp;quot;impure&amp;quot; homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he &amp;quot;[has] had this problem too,&amp;quot; and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.&lt;br /&gt;
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving all the characters a free makeover.&lt;br /&gt;
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his &amp;quot;straight blood&amp;quot; to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from the virus, implying that Chris is &amp;quot;infected&amp;quot; with homosexuality if his blood could be used to make a vaccine.&lt;br /&gt;
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called &amp;quot;A Man's Toy&amp;quot;, which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says &amp;quot;Tea parties are good and nice&amp;quot; on the rear end of the carriage.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a penis.&lt;br /&gt;
* In the above same Trollin Train post he mentioned achieving [[Semen|Comeuppance]] before vomiting, indicating he had an erection, and thus was sexually aroused from being sodomized by a man.&lt;br /&gt;
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Punchylaylalove.jpg wearing panties and a bra].&lt;br /&gt;
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee &amp;amp; Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks like an erect penis. &lt;br /&gt;
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].&lt;br /&gt;
* He [[Tomgirl|voluntarily dressed up as a woman]], went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals and vice-versa, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public. When [[Bob]] learned of Chris's crossdressing, his immediate response was to call him a &amp;quot;fag&amp;quot;.&lt;br /&gt;
* On the 29th April, 2012, Chris 'reveals' that the gay camp experience story he made up as [[JenkinsJinkies]] was a fake. Aside from the fact that [[Naive|absolutely nobody fell for this at all]], it does leave this question: Out of all of the stories that Chris could have made up under a fake identity, why did he go with one where he gets sodomized at [[Pedofork|seven]]?&lt;br /&gt;
* [[It%27s_not_that_cold|This video]], where Chris infamously says, &amp;quot;Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me.&amp;quot; Take note that Chris is dressed in a mini-skirt and hikes it up to reveal his grotesque man ass at the camera, indicating that he'd like to be taken from behind.&lt;br /&gt;
* Whenever anyone calls Chris out on his [[Women's rights|objectification of women's bodies]], he is always quick to back-pedal and say he appreciates women more for their personalities, unaware that personalities are the key reason for relationships between gay men and their female friends.&lt;br /&gt;
* Chris created a modified version of the song &amp;quot;Don't Trust Them New [[Niggos|Niggas]] Over There&amp;quot; from ''The Boondocks'' called &amp;quot;[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]&amp;quot;. However, the character who sings the original song is Uncle Ruckus, a self-loathing black man. This makes Chris look like a self-loathing homosexual.&lt;br /&gt;
*The fact that he uses the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to keep himself straight, implies he has homosexual thoughts and fantasies that he wants to keep in check. The irony of the fact that he thinks staring hard enough at a poster of a gay icon will magically suppress these homoerotic urges is lost on him.&lt;br /&gt;
* After [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] became Chris's equal and opposite as the result of the latter's brief immersion in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], he turned openly gay.  One would think that this logically means Chris is straight, except for the fact that it's made clear that the two differ only in their openness, not their homosexuality.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Defenses against becoming a homo==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[Sex toys|vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]&lt;br /&gt;
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off temptations of homosexuality. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris also subscribes to ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;ReferenceA&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; He also clarifies that one needs not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
To prevent future homos, he also encourages women not to drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In ''[[Kill De Jack]]'', Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: He covers a section of his &amp;quot;[[CWC-ism|computer]]&amp;quot; (We can assume that he means &amp;quot;computer screen&amp;quot;) with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Considering the large amount of blatantly homoerotic activities Chris has engaged in, it's a safe bet to say he's a self-hating closeted homosexual, and no amount of defenses will stop the man-child's suppressed urges.&lt;br /&gt;
 &lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|-Matthew 28, [[Chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read, nor wouldn't care to read.]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|&amp;quot;If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|having sex with THREE WOMEN?&amp;quot;]]]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Masturbating and squirtin']]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;I'm straight, don't doubt me!&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[PS3 History Level]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]].&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Curiously, in his own [[A Public Announcement for Congress|campaign ad]], Chris announced a promise of &amp;quot;gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations.&amp;quot; Suffice to say, this has not helped him in the polls.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Chris and sex]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Chris and religion]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Gaybian]] (a &amp;quot;male lesbian&amp;quot;, according to Chris)&lt;br /&gt;
* [[It's UGH!]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Rainbow]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Magi-Chan]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Heather Iglesias]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Tomgirl]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External links==&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it.]&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-chan is sick of the lies!]&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong.]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWC-isms}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Homos]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=JERKS&amp;diff=166350</id>
		<title>JERKS</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=JERKS&amp;diff=166350"/>
		<updated>2013-07-07T00:34:45Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;[[Image:140-AJerk.jpg|thumb|Chris even divides his [[trading card game]] monsters into JERKS and females.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:141-JerksLoiteringLot.jpg|thumb|Jerks like to loitering around public areas harassing people. Which Chris would [[Love Quest|never]] [[The GAMe PLACe|do]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|Always remember: Others may hate you. But those who hate you don't win, unless you hate them. And then, you destroy yourself.||[[wikipedia:Richard Nixon|Richard Nixon]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|Well, I do not like the majority of the male population regardless. The straight ones take the women away. The damn [[homo]] males not only [tried to push their gross ways onto me, but have emotionally and mentally devastated me in their shit [[Troll]]/Cyber-Bully ways, and they have mislabeled me and [[Sonichu]] as such. Damned males piss me the hell off.|Chris, in a [[Facebook]] post}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''JERK''' is [[Chris's]] term for men in general, including those who are not [[niggos]], [[homos]], or [[jerkops]]. The canonical definition is &amp;quot;a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]]&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Story of My Current Days]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
For example, Chris labeled every single one of his male [[MySpace]] friends as a jerk in his personal list. A few &amp;quot;respectable males&amp;quot; are apparently exempt from jerk status, such as [[George W. Bush]] and [[Barack Obama]] (and possibly [[Congrats, Jack Black|Jack Black]]).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
One reason is the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Use as a denominator==&lt;br /&gt;
Although he has defined the term &amp;quot;jerk&amp;quot; to mean all men save him and his father, the usage of the term seems to apply to any person who gets in the way of Chris doing something that he wants to do. If Chris wants [[china]] and can't get it because the object of his affection has a significant other, that significant other is a jerk. Chris wanted to win the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], but [[Adam Stackhouse]] got in the way, therefore he is a jerk — allegedly because he broke the rules of the contest and used music, actually because he spoiled Chris's plans for sex with [[Megan Schroeder]]. Whether your intention was to obstruct Chris's efforts or not, you are a jerk for presenting a barrier to his goal.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Even being more talented than Chris, or more socially well-adjusted (no great feat, considering Chris) is enough to make one a jerk in [[The Creepy Stare|Chris's eyes]]. Men with girlfriends did not specifically intend to cock-block Chris; they only did what well-adjusted people do and asked out a girl they liked. Adam Stackhouse simply made a good video for a competition he wanted to win and had no intention of thwarting an autistic's plans to seduce his best friend (again, the ''PaRappa'' Showdown). In Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|self-centered]] way of thinking, though, they were all out to get him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Use as a prefix/suffix==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris derides certain professions by using &amp;quot;jerk&amp;quot; as a prefix (as with [[jerkop]]) or a suffix (as with [[manajerk]]). The addition of the prefix/suffix comes from their actions which, again, prevented Chris from getting what he wanted. Never mind the fact that managers and police officers are simply doing their job when they stop creepy patrons from [[Attraction sign|soliciting members of the public for sex]]. They have obstructed his quest for [[china]] and so are jerks. Due to [[Chris and the Law|repeated encounters]] with these professions, Chris has taken to describing any member of their ranks as a jerk.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Varying usage==&lt;br /&gt;
Despite the fact that Chris has openly declared that '''all''' men are jerks, in practice he doesn't seem to automatically apply the term to every man he meets. [[Robert Simmons V]] was held in some regard before he turned troll against Chris. [[Joseph Herring]] was considered a high school friend (although Chris drew him as an ugly, zit-scarred freak in his comic). Chris considered [[Joshua Martinez]] a friend (though he still tried to get [[ED]] to ruin him) as long as he thought Josh would help him score some china. John Schroeder, [[Megan]]'s brother, was even the main character in one of Chris's fake [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|video games]]. Once again, however, that was probably a side-effect of Chris's lust for Megan.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Chris as the embodiment of JERK==&lt;br /&gt;
[[wikipedia|Wiktionary]] defines a [[wiktionary:jerk|jerk]] as &amp;quot;a person with [[Chris and anger|unlikable]] or [[Chris and his Ego|obnoxious]] [[Chris and race|qualities]] and [[Women's rights|behavior]], [[Death threats|typically]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|mean]], [[Christian Love Day (video)|self-centered]] or [[List of places that have banned Chris|disagreeable]], and [[Honor roll|often not very intelligent]].&amp;quot; Ironically, or perhaps better put, [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritically]], Chris's actions make him more deserving of the term &amp;quot;jerk&amp;quot; than most people he applies it to.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==The list of males Chris doesn't hate==&lt;br /&gt;
The most recent version of T.L.O.M.C.D.H. was provided in [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|Chris's annotations to his ED article]]. There it goes as follows:&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Chris]] himself&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Bob Chandler|His father]]&lt;br /&gt;
# &amp;quot;[[Santa Clause]]&amp;quot; [sic]&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Jesus]]&lt;br /&gt;
# [[God]]&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Barack Obama|The President of the United States]]&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Molvanîa|All the World Leaders]]&lt;br /&gt;
# ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
However, in the same [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|annotations]], Chris confusingly states that his [[noviophobia]] is &amp;quot;Out-Of-Date&amp;quot;. He goes on to say that he only hates trolls and &amp;quot;da haytahs&amp;quot; now, but also states that he is cool with the &amp;quot;Hating 99% of the World's Men&amp;quot; theory. In any case, the list is at least applicable to ''some'' point in Chris's biography, even if he [[Lies|&amp;quot;got over it.&amp;quot;]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Not_Jerks}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWC-isms}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=JERKS&amp;diff=166349</id>
		<title>JERKS</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=JERKS&amp;diff=166349"/>
		<updated>2013-07-07T00:33:33Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;[[Image:140-AJerk.jpg|thumb|Chris even divides his [[trading card game]] monsters into JERKS and females.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:141-JerksLoiteringLot.jpg|thumb|Jerks like to loitering around public areas harassing people. Which Chris would [[Love Quest|never]] [[The GAMe PLACe|do]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
((Quote|Always remember: Others may hate you. But those who hate you don't win, unless you hate them. And then, you destroy yourself.|[[w:Richard Nixon|Richard Nixon]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|Well, I do not like the majority of the male population regardless. The straight ones take the women away. The damn [[homo]] males not only [tried to push their gross ways onto me, but have emotionally and mentally devastated me in their shit [[Troll]]/Cyber-Bully ways, and they have mislabeled me and [[Sonichu]] as such. Damned males piss me the hell off.|Chris, in a [[Facebook]] post}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''JERK''' is [[Chris's]] term for men in general, including those who are not [[niggos]], [[homos]], or [[jerkops]]. The canonical definition is &amp;quot;a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]]&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Story of My Current Days]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
For example, Chris labeled every single one of his male [[MySpace]] friends as a jerk in his personal list. A few &amp;quot;respectable males&amp;quot; are apparently exempt from jerk status, such as [[George W. Bush]] and [[Barack Obama]] (and possibly [[Congrats, Jack Black|Jack Black]]).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
One reason is the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Use as a denominator==&lt;br /&gt;
Although he has defined the term &amp;quot;jerk&amp;quot; to mean all men save him and his father, the usage of the term seems to apply to any person who gets in the way of Chris doing something that he wants to do. If Chris wants [[china]] and can't get it because the object of his affection has a significant other, that significant other is a jerk. Chris wanted to win the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], but [[Adam Stackhouse]] got in the way, therefore he is a jerk — allegedly because he broke the rules of the contest and used music, actually because he spoiled Chris's plans for sex with [[Megan Schroeder]]. Whether your intention was to obstruct Chris's efforts or not, you are a jerk for presenting a barrier to his goal.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Even being more talented than Chris, or more socially well-adjusted (no great feat, considering Chris) is enough to make one a jerk in [[The Creepy Stare|Chris's eyes]]. Men with girlfriends did not specifically intend to cock-block Chris; they only did what well-adjusted people do and asked out a girl they liked. Adam Stackhouse simply made a good video for a competition he wanted to win and had no intention of thwarting an autistic's plans to seduce his best friend (again, the ''PaRappa'' Showdown). In Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|self-centered]] way of thinking, though, they were all out to get him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Use as a prefix/suffix==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris derides certain professions by using &amp;quot;jerk&amp;quot; as a prefix (as with [[jerkop]]) or a suffix (as with [[manajerk]]). The addition of the prefix/suffix comes from their actions which, again, prevented Chris from getting what he wanted. Never mind the fact that managers and police officers are simply doing their job when they stop creepy patrons from [[Attraction sign|soliciting members of the public for sex]]. They have obstructed his quest for [[china]] and so are jerks. Due to [[Chris and the Law|repeated encounters]] with these professions, Chris has taken to describing any member of their ranks as a jerk.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Varying usage==&lt;br /&gt;
Despite the fact that Chris has openly declared that '''all''' men are jerks, in practice he doesn't seem to automatically apply the term to every man he meets. [[Robert Simmons V]] was held in some regard before he turned troll against Chris. [[Joseph Herring]] was considered a high school friend (although Chris drew him as an ugly, zit-scarred freak in his comic). Chris considered [[Joshua Martinez]] a friend (though he still tried to get [[ED]] to ruin him) as long as he thought Josh would help him score some china. John Schroeder, [[Megan]]'s brother, was even the main character in one of Chris's fake [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|video games]]. Once again, however, that was probably a side-effect of Chris's lust for Megan.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Chris as the embodiment of JERK==&lt;br /&gt;
[[wikipedia|Wiktionary]] defines a [[wiktionary:jerk|jerk]] as &amp;quot;a person with [[Chris and anger|unlikable]] or [[Chris and his Ego|obnoxious]] [[Chris and race|qualities]] and [[Women's rights|behavior]], [[Death threats|typically]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|mean]], [[Christian Love Day (video)|self-centered]] or [[List of places that have banned Chris|disagreeable]], and [[Honor roll|often not very intelligent]].&amp;quot; Ironically, or perhaps better put, [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritically]], Chris's actions make him more deserving of the term &amp;quot;jerk&amp;quot; than most people he applies it to.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==The list of males Chris doesn't hate==&lt;br /&gt;
The most recent version of T.L.O.M.C.D.H. was provided in [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|Chris's annotations to his ED article]]. There it goes as follows:&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Chris]] himself&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Bob Chandler|His father]]&lt;br /&gt;
# &amp;quot;[[Santa Clause]]&amp;quot; [sic]&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Jesus]]&lt;br /&gt;
# [[God]]&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Barack Obama|The President of the United States]]&lt;br /&gt;
# [[Molvanîa|All the World Leaders]]&lt;br /&gt;
# ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
However, in the same [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|annotations]], Chris confusingly states that his [[noviophobia]] is &amp;quot;Out-Of-Date&amp;quot;. He goes on to say that he only hates trolls and &amp;quot;da haytahs&amp;quot; now, but also states that he is cool with the &amp;quot;Hating 99% of the World's Men&amp;quot; theory. In any case, the list is at least applicable to ''some'' point in Chris's biography, even if he [[Lies|&amp;quot;got over it.&amp;quot;]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Not_Jerks}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWC-isms}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=A-Logs&amp;diff=164223</id>
		<title>A-Logs</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=A-Logs&amp;diff=164223"/>
		<updated>2012-12-16T14:35:58Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Chris's racism and homophobia */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;[[File:A_Log.jpg|thumb|240px|Anthony &amp;quot;A-Log&amp;quot; LoGatto was a YouTube commentator known for his commentaries on Chris's videos and harshly criticizing Chris while having many faults similar to Chris himself.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:A-Logging in nutshell.jpg|thumb|A-Logging in a nutshell. You don't even need to watch the video in question, the title and thumbnail is quite enough, thank you very much.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|What Saddam did in the Gulf War was potatoes to what [[Chris-Chan|Chris]] has done. |A-Log, and an example of A-Logging}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Protip|This article is about the term &amp;quot;A-Logging&amp;quot; and not about the person A-Log, so stop putting too many A-Log references until this turns into an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article about A-Log himself.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''A-Logging''' is a term used to describe the practice of those who follow Chris who wish to inflict harm upon him, often physical, and often for perceived &amp;quot;crimes&amp;quot; that Chris is &amp;quot;guilty&amp;quot; of. Those who follow this practice are known as '''A-Logs'''. A-Logs are an opposite extreme to [[white knights]], whereas white knights try to defend Chris from [[trolls]] and help him to improve his situation, A-Logs hold the belief that Chris is beneath contempt and deserving of whatever scorn and harm he is subjected to and then some. While once fashionable, it has become a view associated with people who wish to &amp;quot;trollshield&amp;quot; themselves and therefore is looked down by the greater CWC community.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The term originates from '''Anthony &amp;quot;A-Log&amp;quot; LoGatto''', a [[YouTube]] commentator who is known for providing commentary on Chris's videos, and often goes on about how Chris is an awful person (and how he, A-Log, is better) and wishes harm to be inflicted on him. However, A-Log is notorious for being known as &amp;quot;Chris-Chan 2.0&amp;quot; because of his poorly-written erotic fanfiction, his radio show, his awkward interviews at WolfDork.com etc. It was this practice, among other things (including his own similarities to Chris himself), that led to A-Log becoming a trolling subject himself, and the inspiration of this very page.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Motivations==&lt;br /&gt;
There are a few motivations which are common in A-Logs, as they are the motivations behind the original A-Log's commentaries.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Justifications for trolling Chris===&lt;br /&gt;
Some would argue that it is sinister and just plain wrong to mock a mentally deficient person such as Chris. As a result, some people justify trolling him by arguing that he ''is'', in fact, a bad person who &amp;quot;deserves&amp;quot; to be trolled. One common argument is that &amp;quot;Chris gives [[autism|autistics]] a bad name.&amp;quot; Others will appeal to his [[Chris and race|debatable racism]], [[homos|homophobia]], or [[Women's rights|sexism]] as excuses to troll Chris. By establishing that Chris is a bad person, it seems to justify that Chris not only deserves the treatment he currently receives, but also deserves physical and/or psychological harm inflicted on him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Trollshielding===&lt;br /&gt;
Often times, those who &amp;quot;A-Log&amp;quot; do so to &amp;quot;trollshield&amp;quot; or avoid becoming troll victims as well. These people tend to have many traits in common with Chris - they too are autistic, still live at home beyond an appropriate age, are unemployed and/or are living off welfare, have trouble with women, or are fixated on childish things. Some are perhaps even worse off than Chris. However, A-Logs will argue that they are &amp;quot;at least not like Chris&amp;quot; and are fervent in their urge to troll Chris so people don't troll them themselves. Often times, as in the case of the original A-Log this backfires and they find themselves becoming the subject of trolls.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Arguments against A-Logs==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While Chris is far from perfect, there are those who believe that he is not exactly deserving of harm or extreme abuse that A-Logs would call for. This is reminiscent of the divided opinions in regards to [[BlueSpike]] and his style of trolling, with many disapproving of his extreme methods, but some who want a return to those more sadistic times.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris is not Hitler===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is not an utterly despicable person who is guilty of &amp;quot;crimes&amp;quot; that must be punished. Hitler was responsible for the death of over 6 million Jews, plus millions of other political dissidents in the years before and during World War II. Chris is just a poorly parented individual who spends his time playing [[video games|vidya]]. While he ''is'' quite prone to [[Chris and anger|rage]] and has a noted tendency to threaten people with violence and [[death threats|death]], it is generally understood that Chris is not competent enough to actually carry out any threats. There are only a few notable events in [[Sonichu_8|Sonichu]] and [[Sonichu_10|CWCville]] where Chris's fictional actions are violent. The October 2011 GAMe PLACe incident also seems to portray Chris as a truly violent individual. More likely than not, Chris's actions on that day are likely to be the result of his mothers influence&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[28 October 2011#Email?|&amp;quot;Mom took the wheel&amp;quot;]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;, non-existent driving skills&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[DayOut|Chris exhibits poor judgement while driving]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;, and sheer panic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Legal Liability===&lt;br /&gt;
Perhaps the best reason against A-Logging is the legal liability (i.e. being charged and possibly convicted of stalking, terroristic threats, assault, or any other possible charges that could be filed against someone). Whatever feelings a person may have against Christian Weston Chandler, there is no legal defense for someone taking the law into their own hands and subsequently ending up with a possible life-altering felony conviction.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
====Chris's [[racism]] and [[homophobia]]====&lt;br /&gt;
While his views on race and homosexuality are not politically correct, they hardly seem to suggest Chris is an amoral monster. Chris's discomfort for black people, while not politically correct, is arguably more from failing to understand social norms. Chris simply doesn't understand that one does not announce to the world one is discomforted by African-Americans; this is far from the outright ideology of white supremacy that your average KKK member would have. Chris has no history of actually going out and lynching blacks or other minorities that discomfort him. Chris's notable offenses have been picking on and applying stereotypes to the black kids who defeated him in card games at [[The GAMe PLACe]], as well as using &amp;quot;Jew&amp;quot; as a pejorative against [[Michael Snyder]], who Chris inaccurately believes to be Jewish. One of Chris's grievances, if you can call it that, is that non-white women don't fit his ideal vision of a [[sweetheart]], which he constantly fails to properly articulate; it is entirely possible for a non-racist white man to not be sexually attracted to non-white women. Chris has used the racial slur of &amp;quot;nigger&amp;quot; in a few of his means of communication; while this is considered a serious mark of a racist, Chris shows some degree of reservation where he uses this word. During the [[Lars Call]], Chris shows great apprehension towards using the word &amp;quot;nigga&amp;quot; and only does so when Lars gives him implicit permission. One of the most famous instances of Chris's use of the word &amp;quot;nigger&amp;quot; is in his video confronting Surf Shack Tito on his trolling efforts&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb#Video|On camera use of the word &amp;quot;nigger&amp;quot;]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. In this video, Chris's racism is often found humorous as Tito is meant to be of Hawaiian descent. When one examines Chris's use of the word, he does not show any understanding of the complexity, history, proper context, or underlying implications of the slur&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Surfshack Tito E-mails|Chris's liberal use of &amp;quot;nigger&amp;quot;]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. Once again, it is likely that Chris has been exposed to this word and chooses to repeat it blindly as he knows it that it is edgy and offensive to African-Americans.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to his homophobia, while his reasons are ill-informed at best, Chris is a rather ordinary person who is discomforted by homosexuals. Chris's father is the likely source of Chris's dislike of homosexuals as Chris has had very little friendly interaction with anyone, never mind true homosexuals&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Matthew Noble call#Transcript|&amp;quot;[...]conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were gay[...]&amp;quot;]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|&amp;quot;[...]and my father threw the damned &amp;quot;fag&amp;quot; card at me.&amp;quot;]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. Chris is not the Westboro Baptist Church which is engaged in a massive campaign against homosexuals using inflammatory language, nor is he head of a power-lobbying group against LGBT individuals in Washington.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
====The tugboat====&lt;br /&gt;
Some A-Logs contend that Chris is a bad person because he &amp;quot;steals&amp;quot; [[tugboat|taxpayer]] money. &lt;br /&gt;
What is almost always overlooked by A-Logs who make this claim is that it wasn’t Chris who applied for social security disability; it was [[Bob|his father]] who applied for Chris and it was he who convinced Chris that he would make more off of disability than working at a minimum wage job. Realistically, Chris didn’t have any say in the matter because Bob held all the purse strings when it came to Chris having food, shelter and clothing. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
So why doesn’t Chris get off his “lazy butt and earn his keep”? Well, because there are a couple of very difficult barriers that stand in his way that many A-Loggers simply don’t take into consideration.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
First, there is the bureaucratic red tape and regulations involved in someone who is on disability working full-time. Ironically, it isn’t Chris sitting around playing video games day after day receiving a government check that would likely get him in trouble for disability fraud, it would be working full-time at a minimum wage job while still getting a disability check that would get him in trouble.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Second, there is the issue of Chris's lack of preparation in independent living skills as well as his lack of coaching in finding a job and being able to keep it. Moreover, given Chris’s rather infamous reputation by people who have documented every unsavory aspect of his life, it would be more likely than not by taking someone working in human services or in the employment field (that has extremely strong networking and connections) and a job coach (on a long-term basis) to convince a skeptical employer to give Chris a realistic chance at successfully finding and keeping a job. In addition, given Chris's rap sheet, even under ideal circumstances Chris's chances at decent employment may be slim at best. Chris has been convicted for the events of [[28 October 2011]] which may deter potential employers, regardless of his ability to perform to tasks they set him. While it may sound attractive to the uninformed to &amp;quot;kick his ass&amp;quot; when it comes to Chris working, in reality there are deep-seated issues that go way beyond the expertise of a few trolls, and no amount of A-Logging can change this.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris is just naive===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is not mentally retarded as defined by medical standards. His IQ is within normal range. What trips him up is his lack of &amp;quot;street smarts&amp;quot; or common sense. He actually believed that an [[Vanessa Hudgens|attractive celebrity]] was interested in him sexually and that he was talking to her. He still insists that he's had many [[sweethearts]], all very attractive women, and doesn't find it curious that they suddenly die or disappear. He is an easy mark, not a criminal mastermind. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Most people can avoid the trolls===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris ''does'' share traits with a lot of people, and some of these traits are quite disturbing and embarrassing. It's a fair assumption that a lot of people who are following Chris's antics are unemployed gamer losers, for example. A lot of people have seen Chris and uttered &amp;quot;Finally, here's someone who's far more pathetic than I am&amp;quot;.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But these traits, in itself, ''don't'' make you trollable. They ''may'' make you subject to ridicule, but it's an altogether different matter how you respond to that ridicule. You may give the people who laugh at you a mature response &amp;amp;ndash; laugh along with them at your own admitted faults, or just let the unwarranted criticism be what it is. Trolls certainly aren't interested in productive debate.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
''Or'' you can be like Chris and get [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|BLANGRY]] at every traitorous troll under lucricities, which is exactly what the trolls want.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Most people can recognize their own faults and try to cope with them. Chris cannot.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Examples==&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Obviously you've never heard of what he calls other people who are autistic, and that he calls people with [[Aspergers]](such as myself) &amp;quot;fakers&amp;quot;. he doesn't deserve some, he deserves everything for giving us a bad name. The [[trolls]] are also doing what they do to him for a good reason. it's not about the autism to them, but more of that he's a moron who is evil reincarnate and deserves to go back to hell. I don't believe you know what all CWC has done to us on youtube.|GamerXZ0, in a YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|29 years ago today, satan was born and molded﻿ into the fucktardian [[Pickle|PENIS]] we know &amp;amp; despise today! Should i ever see him i'm gonna destroy him worse than new jack did to mass transit!|ISLAVERDE29, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Hooray [[Bob Chandler|he's]] dead. Now he'lll be spending﻿ his eternity in hell while I go piss on his grave.|mxc82, again, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos, referring to [[Bob Chandler]]'s death.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|CHRIS-CHAN MUST DIE!!!! Sick﻿ fuck!|mxc82, once again, on YouTube. (Note: This is not a joke)}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Chris Chan u are the single worst human being who ever live. If it wasn't for u fellow [[Autism|autistics]] and [[Sonichu|Sonic OC]] creators like me would be respected by the world. What you have done is unforgivable. I hope [[Barb]]﻿ dies and you spend the last minutes of your life crying about how your a pathetic failure fuck you|OfficialSteroidHedgy, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Fucking Chris Chan. I hate this guy, sucks to have [[autism]] and ppl think you're like him|[[789chan|/cwc/]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|For those of you who never heard of this fella, Chrischan is a twenty-nine year old [[Autism|&amp;quot;highly functioning autistic&amp;quot;]] who is really a brain dead and delusional manchild. I am a austic myself and I feel ashamed about this jackass reenforcing a negative stereotype on austics and going out of his way to make normal autistics like myself look bad.|GearsX, in his &amp;quot;Chrischan Rant Quickie&amp;quot; DeviantArt Journal.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|You know, blocking people is just going to make you look butthurt. Stop giving people with [[Autism]] and [[Aspergers|Apergers]] a bad name. I have aspergers, I'm 13, and yet I draw, and know better. Not to be mean, but with those [[For Julie's Eyes Only|blow up doll]] and stripping videos, you need help.|ShanuChinchillaXx, on Chris-Chan's fake DeviantArt account.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External links==&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Anthony_%27A-Log%27_LoGatto Anthony &amp;quot;A-Log&amp;quot; LoGatto on Encyclopedia Dramatica]&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://logattopedia.wikinet.org/wiki/Main_Page Logattopedia]&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.forcesofgeek.com/2012/04/log-man-in-mirror.html An article from Forces of Geek about A-Log, and a more in-depth on Alogging.]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category: Trolling]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=A-Logs&amp;diff=164222</id>
		<title>A-Logs</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=A-Logs&amp;diff=164222"/>
		<updated>2012-12-16T14:22:17Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Motivations */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;[[File:A_Log.jpg|thumb|240px|Anthony &amp;quot;A-Log&amp;quot; LoGatto was a YouTube commentator known for his commentaries on Chris's videos and harshly criticizing Chris while having many faults similar to Chris himself.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:A-Logging in nutshell.jpg|thumb|A-Logging in a nutshell. You don't even need to watch the video in question, the title and thumbnail is quite enough, thank you very much.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|What Saddam did in the Gulf War was potatoes to what [[Chris-Chan|Chris]] has done. |A-Log, and an example of A-Logging}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Protip|This article is about the term &amp;quot;A-Logging&amp;quot; and not about the person A-Log, so stop putting too many A-Log references until this turns into an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article about A-Log himself.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''A-Logging''' is a term used to describe the practice of those who follow Chris who wish to inflict harm upon him, often physical, and often for perceived &amp;quot;crimes&amp;quot; that Chris is &amp;quot;guilty&amp;quot; of. Those who follow this practice are known as '''A-Logs'''. A-Logs are an opposite extreme to [[white knights]], whereas white knights try to defend Chris from [[trolls]] and help him to improve his situation, A-Logs hold the belief that Chris is beneath contempt and deserving of whatever scorn and harm he is subjected to and then some. While once fashionable, it has become a view associated with people who wish to &amp;quot;trollshield&amp;quot; themselves and therefore is looked down by the greater CWC community.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The term originates from '''Anthony &amp;quot;A-Log&amp;quot; LoGatto''', a [[YouTube]] commentator who is known for providing commentary on Chris's videos, and often goes on about how Chris is an awful person (and how he, A-Log, is better) and wishes harm to be inflicted on him. However, A-Log is notorious for being known as &amp;quot;Chris-Chan 2.0&amp;quot; because of his poorly-written erotic fanfiction, his radio show, his awkward interviews at WolfDork.com etc. It was this practice, among other things (including his own similarities to Chris himself), that led to A-Log becoming a trolling subject himself, and the inspiration of this very page.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Motivations==&lt;br /&gt;
There are a few motivations which are common in A-Logs, as they are the motivations behind the original A-Log's commentaries.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Justifications for trolling Chris===&lt;br /&gt;
Some would argue that it is sinister and just plain wrong to mock a mentally deficient person such as Chris. As a result, some people justify trolling him by arguing that he ''is'', in fact, a bad person who &amp;quot;deserves&amp;quot; to be trolled. One common argument is that &amp;quot;Chris gives [[autism|autistics]] a bad name.&amp;quot; Others will appeal to his [[Chris and race|debatable racism]], [[homos|homophobia]], or [[Women's rights|sexism]] as excuses to troll Chris. By establishing that Chris is a bad person, it seems to justify that Chris not only deserves the treatment he currently receives, but also deserves physical and/or psychological harm inflicted on him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Trollshielding===&lt;br /&gt;
Often times, those who &amp;quot;A-Log&amp;quot; do so to &amp;quot;trollshield&amp;quot; or avoid becoming troll victims as well. These people tend to have many traits in common with Chris - they too are autistic, still live at home beyond an appropriate age, are unemployed and/or are living off welfare, have trouble with women, or are fixated on childish things. Some are perhaps even worse off than Chris. However, A-Logs will argue that they are &amp;quot;at least not like Chris&amp;quot; and are fervent in their urge to troll Chris so people don't troll them themselves. Often times, as in the case of the original A-Log this backfires and they find themselves becoming the subject of trolls.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Arguments against A-Logs==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While Chris is far from perfect, there are those who believe that he is not exactly deserving of harm or extreme abuse that A-Logs would call for. This is reminiscent of the divided opinions in regards to [[BlueSpike]] and his style of trolling, with many disapproving of his extreme methods, but some who want a return to those more sadistic times.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris is not Hitler===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is not an utterly despicable person who is guilty of &amp;quot;crimes&amp;quot; that must be punished. Hitler was responsible for the death of over 6 million Jews, plus millions of other political dissidents in the years before and during World War II. Chris is just a poorly parented individual who spends his time playing [[video games|vidya]]. While he ''is'' quite prone to [[Chris and anger|rage]] and has a noted tendency to threaten people with violence and [[death threats|death]], it is generally understood that Chris is not competent enough to actually carry out any threats. There are only a few notable events in [[Sonichu_8|Sonichu]] and [[Sonichu_10|CWCville]] where Chris's fictional actions are violent. The October 2011 GAMe PLACe incident also seems to portray Chris as a truly violent individual. More likely than not, Chris's actions on that day are likely to be the result of his mothers influence&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[28 October 2011#Email?|&amp;quot;Mom took the wheel&amp;quot;]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;, non-existent driving skills&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[DayOut|Chris exhibits poor judgement while driving]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;, and sheer panic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Legal Liability===&lt;br /&gt;
Perhaps the best reason against A-Logging is the legal liability (i.e. being charged and possibly convicted of stalking, terroristic threats, assault, or any other possible charges that could be filed against someone). Whatever feelings a person may have against Christian Weston Chandler, there is no legal defense for someone taking the law into their own hands and subsequently ending up with a possible life-altering felony conviction.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
====Chris's [[racism]] and [[homophobia]]====&lt;br /&gt;
While his views on race and homosexuality are not politically correct, they hardly seem to suggest Chris is an amoral monster. Chris's discomfort for black people, while not politically correct, is arguably more from failing to understand social norms. Chris simply doesn't understand that one does not announce to the world one is discomforted by African-Americans; this is far from the outright ideology of white supremacy that your average KKK member would have. Chris has no history of actually going out and lynching blacks or other minorities that discomfort him. Chris's notable offenses have been picking on and applying stereotypes to the black kids who defeated him in card games at [[The GAMe PLACe]], as well as using &amp;quot;Jew&amp;quot; as a pejorative against [[Michael Snyder]], who Chris inaccurately believes to be Jewish. One of Chris's grievances, if you can call it that, is that non-white women don't fit his ideal vision of a [[sweetheart]], which he constantly fails to properly articulate. Chris has used the racial slur of &amp;quot;nigger&amp;quot; in a few of his means of communication; while this is considered a serious mark of a racist, Chris shows some degree of reservation where he uses this word. During the [[Lars Call]], Chris shows great apprehension towards using the word &amp;quot;nigga&amp;quot; and only does so when Lars gives him implicit permission. One of the most famous instances of Chris's use of the word &amp;quot;nigger&amp;quot; is in his video confronting Surf Shack Tito on his trolling efforts&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb#Video|On camera use of the word &amp;quot;nigger&amp;quot;]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. In this video, Chris's racism is often found humorous as Tito is meant to be of Hawaiian descent. When one examines Chris's use of the word, he does not show any understanding of the complexity, history, proper context, or underlying implications of the slur&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Surfshack Tito E-mails|Chris's liberal use of &amp;quot;nigger&amp;quot;]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. Once again, it is likely that Chris has been exposed to this word and chooses to repeat it blindly as he knows it that it is edgy and offensive to African-Americans.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to his homophobia, while his reasons are ill-informed at best, Chris is a rather ordinary person who is discomforted by homosexuals. Chris's father is the likely source of Chris's dislike of homosexuals as Chris has had very little friendly interaction with anyone, never mind true homosexuals&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Matthew Noble call#Transcript|&amp;quot;[...]conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were gay[...]&amp;quot;]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|&amp;quot;[...]and my father threw the damned &amp;quot;fag&amp;quot; card at me.&amp;quot;]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. Chris is not the Westboro Baptist Church which is engaged in a massive campaign against homosexuals using inflammatory language, nor is he head of a power-lobbying group against LGBT individuals in Washington.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
====The tugboat====&lt;br /&gt;
Some A-Logs contend that Chris is a bad person because he &amp;quot;steals&amp;quot; [[tugboat|taxpayer]] money. &lt;br /&gt;
What is almost always overlooked by A-Logs who make this claim is that it wasn’t Chris who applied for social security disability; it was [[Bob|his father]] who applied for Chris and it was he who convinced Chris that he would make more off of disability than working at a minimum wage job. Realistically, Chris didn’t have any say in the matter because Bob held all the purse strings when it came to Chris having food, shelter and clothing. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
So why doesn’t Chris get off his “lazy butt and earn his keep”? Well, because there are a couple of very difficult barriers that stand in his way that many A-Loggers simply don’t take into consideration.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
First, there is the bureaucratic red tape and regulations involved in someone who is on disability working full-time. Ironically, it isn’t Chris sitting around playing video games day after day receiving a government check that would likely get him in trouble for disability fraud, it would be working full-time at a minimum wage job while still getting a disability check that would get him in trouble.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Second, there is the issue of Chris's lack of preparation in independent living skills as well as his lack of coaching in finding a job and being able to keep it. Moreover, given Chris’s rather infamous reputation by people who have documented every unsavory aspect of his life, it would be more likely than not by taking someone working in human services or in the employment field (that has extremely strong networking and connections) and a job coach (on a long-term basis) to convince a skeptical employer to give Chris a realistic chance at successfully finding and keeping a job. In addition, given Chris's rap sheet, even under ideal circumstances Chris's chances at decent employment may be slim at best. Chris has been convicted for the events of [[28 October 2011]] which may deter potential employers, regardless of his ability to perform to tasks they set him. While it may sound attractive to the uninformed to &amp;quot;kick his ass&amp;quot; when it comes to Chris working, in reality there are deep-seated issues that go way beyond the expertise of a few trolls, and no amount of A-Logging can change this.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris is just naive===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is not mentally retarded as defined by medical standards. His IQ is within normal range. What trips him up is his lack of &amp;quot;street smarts&amp;quot; or common sense. He actually believed that an [[Vanessa Hudgens|attractive celebrity]] was interested in him sexually and that he was talking to her. He still insists that he's had many [[sweethearts]], all very attractive women, and doesn't find it curious that they suddenly die or disappear. He is an easy mark, not a criminal mastermind. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Most people can avoid the trolls===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris ''does'' share traits with a lot of people, and some of these traits are quite disturbing and embarrassing. It's a fair assumption that a lot of people who are following Chris's antics are unemployed gamer losers, for example. A lot of people have seen Chris and uttered &amp;quot;Finally, here's someone who's far more pathetic than I am&amp;quot;.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But these traits, in itself, ''don't'' make you trollable. They ''may'' make you subject to ridicule, but it's an altogether different matter how you respond to that ridicule. You may give the people who laugh at you a mature response &amp;amp;ndash; laugh along with them at your own admitted faults, or just let the unwarranted criticism be what it is. Trolls certainly aren't interested in productive debate.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
''Or'' you can be like Chris and get [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|BLANGRY]] at every traitorous troll under lucricities, which is exactly what the trolls want.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Most people can recognize their own faults and try to cope with them. Chris cannot.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Examples==&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Obviously you've never heard of what he calls other people who are autistic, and that he calls people with [[Aspergers]](such as myself) &amp;quot;fakers&amp;quot;. he doesn't deserve some, he deserves everything for giving us a bad name. The [[trolls]] are also doing what they do to him for a good reason. it's not about the autism to them, but more of that he's a moron who is evil reincarnate and deserves to go back to hell. I don't believe you know what all CWC has done to us on youtube.|GamerXZ0, in a YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|29 years ago today, satan was born and molded﻿ into the fucktardian [[Pickle|PENIS]] we know &amp;amp; despise today! Should i ever see him i'm gonna destroy him worse than new jack did to mass transit!|ISLAVERDE29, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Hooray [[Bob Chandler|he's]] dead. Now he'lll be spending﻿ his eternity in hell while I go piss on his grave.|mxc82, again, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos, referring to [[Bob Chandler]]'s death.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|CHRIS-CHAN MUST DIE!!!! Sick﻿ fuck!|mxc82, once again, on YouTube. (Note: This is not a joke)}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Chris Chan u are the single worst human being who ever live. If it wasn't for u fellow [[Autism|autistics]] and [[Sonichu|Sonic OC]] creators like me would be respected by the world. What you have done is unforgivable. I hope [[Barb]]﻿ dies and you spend the last minutes of your life crying about how your a pathetic failure fuck you|OfficialSteroidHedgy, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Fucking Chris Chan. I hate this guy, sucks to have [[autism]] and ppl think you're like him|[[789chan|/cwc/]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|For those of you who never heard of this fella, Chrischan is a twenty-nine year old [[Autism|&amp;quot;highly functioning autistic&amp;quot;]] who is really a brain dead and delusional manchild. I am a austic myself and I feel ashamed about this jackass reenforcing a negative stereotype on austics and going out of his way to make normal autistics like myself look bad.|GearsX, in his &amp;quot;Chrischan Rant Quickie&amp;quot; DeviantArt Journal.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|You know, blocking people is just going to make you look butthurt. Stop giving people with [[Autism]] and [[Aspergers|Apergers]] a bad name. I have aspergers, I'm 13, and yet I draw, and know better. Not to be mean, but with those [[For Julie's Eyes Only|blow up doll]] and stripping videos, you need help.|ShanuChinchillaXx, on Chris-Chan's fake DeviantArt account.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External links==&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Anthony_%27A-Log%27_LoGatto Anthony &amp;quot;A-Log&amp;quot; LoGatto on Encyclopedia Dramatica]&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://logattopedia.wikinet.org/wiki/Main_Page Logattopedia]&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.forcesofgeek.com/2012/04/log-man-in-mirror.html An article from Forces of Geek about A-Log, and a more in-depth on Alogging.]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category: Trolling]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWCki&amp;diff=163640</id>
		<title>CWCki</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWCki&amp;diff=163640"/>
		<updated>2012-11-09T03:06:02Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Forum */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
''This is the article for the wiki ''about'' Chris. For more information about the wiki written ''by'' Chris, please see [[CWCipedia]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:TypicalCWCkiPage.png|200px|thumb|What happens when CWCki gets [[Stress|STRESSED]]]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Cwcki2009.JPG|200px|thumb|Popularity of the cwcki throughout the years.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The '''CWCki''' (pronounced &amp;quot;quick-ee&amp;quot;) was created by [[Cogsdev]], as the [[ED]] page was getting far too large for people to take. It serves as the Internet's only Wiki devoted to [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the [[autistic]] manchild that everyone loves to hate and hates to love. As with any Wiki, anyone can edit it, even YOU. Seriously though, if you're reading this, you are qualified and should be editing (just read [[Help:A Quick Guide to CWCki|this]] first). &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As stated in its motto, '''no shit is too minor'''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==History==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:CWCkicopter.JPG|thumb|left|One of the many members of the CWCki team, on the hunt for more information regarding autistic manchildren]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The CWCki came to life on 110mb, the land of shitty web servers that go down every damn day.&lt;br /&gt;
Before the CWCki moved to cogsdev.org, it had a history of outages caused by shit servers and counter-trolls. This is a history of the CWCki:&lt;br /&gt;
* 25 [[January 2009]]: The CWCki's MediaWiki incarnation is founded.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[October 2008]]: 110mb shut down all its service for two entire weeks out of nowhere just to move to a different data center. &lt;br /&gt;
* [[White knight|Someone]] complained to 110mb in [[August 2009]] and everything got shut down. Then a day or two later, it was back up again. &lt;br /&gt;
* Due to maintenance, 110mb was closed from 13 September to 18 [[September 2009]]. &lt;br /&gt;
* 4 [[January 2010]]: Finally, after the 9001st outage, the CWCki moved to Cogsdev.org.&lt;br /&gt;
* 26 [[June 2010]]: cogsdev.110mb.com is terminated from the server it was on.&lt;br /&gt;
* 7 [[November 2010]]: The CWCki moves from Cogsdev.org to Sonichu.com having obtained the domain name.&lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Forum==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The '''[http://cwcki.forumer.com/ CWCki Forum]''' is frequented by many of the wiki regulars and other people interested of all things Christorical.  In the weeks leading up to Chris's [[This is how the Trial went|trial]] Chris frequently screen capped posts from the CWCki Forum and posted them onto his [[Facebook]] page, occasionally with brief commentary.  His exact motivations for doing this are not clear, but it has been speculated that he intended to use the screen caps as proof of a troll conspiracy including [[Michael Snyder]].  [[Robert Bell]], Chris's lawyer, was apparently unpersuaded by Chris's legal acumen and did not enter any screen caps into evidence.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Previously hosted on Yuku, the forum was hosted on Forumer until November 8, 2012 when it was deleted off Forumer's servers. The CWCki forums are offline for the time being.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Chris's opinion==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|With that, I respectfully ask the webmaster of the Unapproved and Detested CWCki to remove ALL PAGES Classified under their &amp;quot;[[Template:People|Christian Weston Chandler's Web Of Life]]&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;[[Template:Sweethearts|Sweethearts, heartsweets and gal-pals]]&amp;quot; Categories. I give him until Midnight of Friday March 12, 2010, Eastern Standard Time, for the Webmaster of that CWCki to Remove ALL OF THOSE PAGES, [[Chris and his Ego|or there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me]].|[[Chris]], after discovering the CWCki, 02:03, 11 [[March 2010]] (CET).}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The CWCki, like everything else on the [[Internet]] that criticizes him or depicts him unfavorably, is something that Chris hates. In the quote above Chris displays large amounts of his [[ego]] and as usual issues a [[death threat]]. Unfortunately for Chris, his demands did not go through. There are two reasons for this. First, his [[Clyde Cash|past track record with serious threats]] suggests that he [[stress|lacks the energy]] to put his ideas into action. Secondly, CWCkians are well aware of the solid legal standing of the website and will not cave to idle threats from autistic manchildren.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the wee hours of 14 March 2010, Chris updated his blog, taking credit for the alteration of [[The Wallflower]]'s page and demanding that the rest of the pages mentioned earlier follow suit on or before 31 March or there would be trouble. [[Pocket knife|He IS armed]]. However, in true Chris fashion, midnight of 31 March passed with Chris doing absolutely jack shit. As if anyone was surprised.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 2 April 2010, he tried to fulfill his threat, by making [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|3 minor edits]] under the name of [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]], obviously forgetting that CWCki editors are not ''entirely'' unaware of Chris's recent favorites in video game field. His edits were reverted immediately and his user and user talk pages were bombarded with negative comments. The edits so far were mostly done to glorify him, and are not exactly the kind of hard-hitting bombastic protest CWCkians were expecting based on [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|Chris's previous assault on ED]]. It appears that this profoundly lame attack of his had bigger impact on him, because in 19 April 2010, he set up an article in CWCipedia to [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=The_Christian_Truth list his revised truths].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Because the Trolls and ALL such [[Chris and hypocrisy|Pig-Headed, Closed-Minded Idiots]] REFUSE to let me TELL them the Truth on THEIR websites with My Own Past Edits they have Undone, HERE is Where I Correct Some to Most of Their Pages filled with Half-Truths, Exaggerations and Lies.|Chris, glorious edit-warrior, having just suffered an epic defeat in the hands of an unjust wiki [[Manajerks|administration]].}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's only response to the CWCki in this form was the article he made for the CWCipedia named [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]]. In it, Chris supposedly &amp;quot;set the record straight&amp;quot; about all the women in his life listed on the CWCki who we had supposedly gotten our facts wrong about, telling us what actually happened, (because we all know that Chris is far less biased than the CWCki when it comes to the subject of his own life). Naturally, he listed [[Ivy|several]] [[PandaHalo|women]] on there who were actually confirmed trolls working for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|people who run this very site]], thus proving that Chris's &amp;quot;truths&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;corrections&amp;quot; were really [[lies]] and mistakes all along.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris would later come back to the CWCki under the name [[JenkinsJinkies]], a poor [[disguises|disguise]] that fooled no-one, but one which the administrators played along with for a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh]]. After a few more minor [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|edits]], Chris eventually left the site again, as the administrators had fooled him into thinking he had been noticed by the higher-ups and let into the secret inner circle of the [[Trollin Train|trolling cabal]]. This is what eventually led to the [[The MovingFoward videos|PS3 destruction videos]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Following the [[28 October 2011|October 2011 Michael Snyder Bash-smash-ween]], Chris showed up as [[User:Christianchandler|Christianchandler]] to upload photographs of Snyder and The GAMe PLACe, and to accuse Snyder of being '''fat''', child-molesting and &amp;quot;slender&amp;quot; (bolding and sarcasm quotes his).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References by Chris==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Wallflower E-mails 3]] - Chris is made aware of the CWCki's existence by his [[gal-pal]] who discovered the site and assumed it was created by Chris.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]] - After seeing how well the CWCki documented all of his past relationships with women, Chris created this page to share [[Chris and reality|his side of the story]].&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Jackie Chat 1]] - Chris gives [[Jackie]] specific examples of how he thinks the CWCki &amp;quot;slanders&amp;quot; him. &lt;br /&gt;
* [[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]] - [[JenkinsJinkies]] pledges allegiance to [[Clyde Cash]] and the CWCki.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[LittleBigPlanet]] - In [[February 2011]], Chris posted [http://lbp.me/v/w4vcbs a quote] on his LittleBigPlanet profile and demanded that it be added to the CWCki's front page. &lt;br /&gt;
* [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] - In [[July 2011]], Chris warn his [[Tomgirl|gal-pals]] against the danger of CWCki and internet bullies&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Calling Out]] - In [[August 2011]], Chris demands two trolls to remove their contributions or suffer the consequences.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Victory Rockout]] - Chris states (read: yells incoherently) that the CWCki is a &amp;quot;damn lie&amp;quot; and to never trust it. Apparently, if you wish to ask questions, [[Mailbag|ask him personally]] and he will [[Lie|answer with honesty]].&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Facebook#28 April 2012|Facebook, 28 April 2012]] - in which Chris discovered the CWCki forum (link to it is admittedly hard to find on the main page, as you ''actually need to scroll down'') and launched a dastardly misinformation campaign of epic proportions. And it totally worked, according to Chris anyway!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[JenkinsJinkies]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[CWCipedia]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:CWCki]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Trolling]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Websites]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWCki&amp;diff=163639</id>
		<title>CWCki</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWCki&amp;diff=163639"/>
		<updated>2012-11-09T03:05:09Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Forum */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
''This is the article for the wiki ''about'' Chris. For more information about the wiki written ''by'' Chris, please see [[CWCipedia]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:TypicalCWCkiPage.png|200px|thumb|What happens when CWCki gets [[Stress|STRESSED]]]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Cwcki2009.JPG|200px|thumb|Popularity of the cwcki throughout the years.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The '''CWCki''' (pronounced &amp;quot;quick-ee&amp;quot;) was created by [[Cogsdev]], as the [[ED]] page was getting far too large for people to take. It serves as the Internet's only Wiki devoted to [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the [[autistic]] manchild that everyone loves to hate and hates to love. As with any Wiki, anyone can edit it, even YOU. Seriously though, if you're reading this, you are qualified and should be editing (just read [[Help:A Quick Guide to CWCki|this]] first). &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As stated in its motto, '''no shit is too minor'''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==History==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:CWCkicopter.JPG|thumb|left|One of the many members of the CWCki team, on the hunt for more information regarding autistic manchildren]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The CWCki came to life on 110mb, the land of shitty web servers that go down every damn day.&lt;br /&gt;
Before the CWCki moved to cogsdev.org, it had a history of outages caused by shit servers and counter-trolls. This is a history of the CWCki:&lt;br /&gt;
* 25 [[January 2009]]: The CWCki's MediaWiki incarnation is founded.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[October 2008]]: 110mb shut down all its service for two entire weeks out of nowhere just to move to a different data center. &lt;br /&gt;
* [[White knight|Someone]] complained to 110mb in [[August 2009]] and everything got shut down. Then a day or two later, it was back up again. &lt;br /&gt;
* Due to maintenance, 110mb was closed from 13 September to 18 [[September 2009]]. &lt;br /&gt;
* 4 [[January 2010]]: Finally, after the 9001st outage, the CWCki moved to Cogsdev.org.&lt;br /&gt;
* 26 [[June 2010]]: cogsdev.110mb.com is terminated from the server it was on.&lt;br /&gt;
* 7 [[November 2010]]: The CWCki moves from Cogsdev.org to Sonichu.com having obtained the domain name.&lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Forum==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The '''[http://cwcki.forumer.com/ CWCki Forum]''' is frequented by many of the wiki regulars and other people interested of all things Christorical.  In the weeks leading up to Chris's [[This is how the Trial went|trial]] Chris frequently screen capped posts from the CWCki Forum and posted them onto his [[Facebook]] page, occasionally with brief commentary.  His exact motivations for doing this are not clear, but it has been speculated that he intended to use the screen caps as proof of a troll conspiracy including [[Michael Snyder]].  [[Robert Bell]], Chris's lawyer, was apparently unpersuaded by Chris's legal acumen and did not enter any screen caps into evidence.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Previously hosted on Yuku, the forum was hosted on Forumer until November 8, 2012 when it was taken down for a terms of use violation. The CWCki forums are offline for the time being.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Chris's opinion==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|With that, I respectfully ask the webmaster of the Unapproved and Detested CWCki to remove ALL PAGES Classified under their &amp;quot;[[Template:People|Christian Weston Chandler's Web Of Life]]&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;[[Template:Sweethearts|Sweethearts, heartsweets and gal-pals]]&amp;quot; Categories. I give him until Midnight of Friday March 12, 2010, Eastern Standard Time, for the Webmaster of that CWCki to Remove ALL OF THOSE PAGES, [[Chris and his Ego|or there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me]].|[[Chris]], after discovering the CWCki, 02:03, 11 [[March 2010]] (CET).}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The CWCki, like everything else on the [[Internet]] that criticizes him or depicts him unfavorably, is something that Chris hates. In the quote above Chris displays large amounts of his [[ego]] and as usual issues a [[death threat]]. Unfortunately for Chris, his demands did not go through. There are two reasons for this. First, his [[Clyde Cash|past track record with serious threats]] suggests that he [[stress|lacks the energy]] to put his ideas into action. Secondly, CWCkians are well aware of the solid legal standing of the website and will not cave to idle threats from autistic manchildren.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the wee hours of 14 March 2010, Chris updated his blog, taking credit for the alteration of [[The Wallflower]]'s page and demanding that the rest of the pages mentioned earlier follow suit on or before 31 March or there would be trouble. [[Pocket knife|He IS armed]]. However, in true Chris fashion, midnight of 31 March passed with Chris doing absolutely jack shit. As if anyone was surprised.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 2 April 2010, he tried to fulfill his threat, by making [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|3 minor edits]] under the name of [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]], obviously forgetting that CWCki editors are not ''entirely'' unaware of Chris's recent favorites in video game field. His edits were reverted immediately and his user and user talk pages were bombarded with negative comments. The edits so far were mostly done to glorify him, and are not exactly the kind of hard-hitting bombastic protest CWCkians were expecting based on [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|Chris's previous assault on ED]]. It appears that this profoundly lame attack of his had bigger impact on him, because in 19 April 2010, he set up an article in CWCipedia to [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=The_Christian_Truth list his revised truths].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Because the Trolls and ALL such [[Chris and hypocrisy|Pig-Headed, Closed-Minded Idiots]] REFUSE to let me TELL them the Truth on THEIR websites with My Own Past Edits they have Undone, HERE is Where I Correct Some to Most of Their Pages filled with Half-Truths, Exaggerations and Lies.|Chris, glorious edit-warrior, having just suffered an epic defeat in the hands of an unjust wiki [[Manajerks|administration]].}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's only response to the CWCki in this form was the article he made for the CWCipedia named [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]]. In it, Chris supposedly &amp;quot;set the record straight&amp;quot; about all the women in his life listed on the CWCki who we had supposedly gotten our facts wrong about, telling us what actually happened, (because we all know that Chris is far less biased than the CWCki when it comes to the subject of his own life). Naturally, he listed [[Ivy|several]] [[PandaHalo|women]] on there who were actually confirmed trolls working for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|people who run this very site]], thus proving that Chris's &amp;quot;truths&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;corrections&amp;quot; were really [[lies]] and mistakes all along.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris would later come back to the CWCki under the name [[JenkinsJinkies]], a poor [[disguises|disguise]] that fooled no-one, but one which the administrators played along with for a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh]]. After a few more minor [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|edits]], Chris eventually left the site again, as the administrators had fooled him into thinking he had been noticed by the higher-ups and let into the secret inner circle of the [[Trollin Train|trolling cabal]]. This is what eventually led to the [[The MovingFoward videos|PS3 destruction videos]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Following the [[28 October 2011|October 2011 Michael Snyder Bash-smash-ween]], Chris showed up as [[User:Christianchandler|Christianchandler]] to upload photographs of Snyder and The GAMe PLACe, and to accuse Snyder of being '''fat''', child-molesting and &amp;quot;slender&amp;quot; (bolding and sarcasm quotes his).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References by Chris==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Wallflower E-mails 3]] - Chris is made aware of the CWCki's existence by his [[gal-pal]] who discovered the site and assumed it was created by Chris.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]] - After seeing how well the CWCki documented all of his past relationships with women, Chris created this page to share [[Chris and reality|his side of the story]].&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Jackie Chat 1]] - Chris gives [[Jackie]] specific examples of how he thinks the CWCki &amp;quot;slanders&amp;quot; him. &lt;br /&gt;
* [[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]] - [[JenkinsJinkies]] pledges allegiance to [[Clyde Cash]] and the CWCki.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[LittleBigPlanet]] - In [[February 2011]], Chris posted [http://lbp.me/v/w4vcbs a quote] on his LittleBigPlanet profile and demanded that it be added to the CWCki's front page. &lt;br /&gt;
* [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] - In [[July 2011]], Chris warn his [[Tomgirl|gal-pals]] against the danger of CWCki and internet bullies&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Calling Out]] - In [[August 2011]], Chris demands two trolls to remove their contributions or suffer the consequences.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Victory Rockout]] - Chris states (read: yells incoherently) that the CWCki is a &amp;quot;damn lie&amp;quot; and to never trust it. Apparently, if you wish to ask questions, [[Mailbag|ask him personally]] and he will [[Lie|answer with honesty]].&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Facebook#28 April 2012|Facebook, 28 April 2012]] - in which Chris discovered the CWCki forum (link to it is admittedly hard to find on the main page, as you ''actually need to scroll down'') and launched a dastardly misinformation campaign of epic proportions. And it totally worked, according to Chris anyway!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[JenkinsJinkies]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[CWCipedia]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:CWCki]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Trolling]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Websites]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=The_GAMe_PLACe&amp;diff=163567</id>
		<title>The GAMe PLACe</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=The_GAMe_PLACe&amp;diff=163567"/>
		<updated>2012-11-05T02:01:19Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|The GAMe PLACe]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:HNI_0020.JPG|thumb|The inside of the PLACe as of 27 October 2011.]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''The GAMe PLACe''' (currently named '''Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys''') is a comic book, game, card, toy, and hobby shop in [[Charlottesville]]. For several years,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;In his [[Chris's resume|resume]], Chris says that in June [[2002]] he became a Gym Leader’s Assistant in The GAMe PLACe, so he must have been a patron of the store by that time. It is not known whether or not he started frequenting the store at an earlier date.&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' [[card games]]. The shop hosts the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|''Pokémon TCG'' League]], where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After a long period of scaring off customers and being a confrontational douche, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the [[manager]]s, [[Michael Snyder]], on 28 [[August 2008]]. Since then, Chris has attempted several times to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Following the judgement after the [[28 October 2011]] incident ([[#The_Charlottesville_Incident|see below]]), Chris must keep away from Michael Synder at all times, which by extension means he is permanently banned from the store by law.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==People of note==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at The GAMe PLACe in [[2005]], where they bonded over their shared interest in ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of [[2008]], although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at The GAMe PLACe (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms and Lucas Q&amp;amp;A|Q&amp;amp;A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the Internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Michael Snyder]] was one of the store's managers until he became the owner around October 2011. Chris often mistakenly referred to Snyder as the store's owner long before he purchased the store. Snyder would eventually become one of Chris's real-life nemeses when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.&amp;lt;ref name=ban&amp;gt;[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms' and Lucas' Q&amp;amp;A: Chris's ban from the store.]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Chris's attitude at The GAMe PLACe==&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyone's hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|[[Mimms]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In his early days at The GAMe PLACe, Chris's behavior seems to have been more &amp;quot;childlike&amp;quot;, for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.&amp;lt;ref name=homo&amp;gt;[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mimms and Lucas Q&amp;amp;A: Racism and Homophobia]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; He also never failed to show up for ''Pokémon'' games in his old [[Chris and cosplaying|Ash Ketchum costume]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his [[Chris and fashion|usual colorful clown shirts]] and sporting the [[Sonichu medallion]]), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy whom he thought was putting the moves on his gal-pal.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.&amp;lt;ref name=mimms1&amp;gt;[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms &amp;amp; Lucas Q&amp;amp;A: Initial Post]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Chris also nearly managed to earn himself a beating from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Chris yells at him, &amp;quot;I'm going to smack your effing face down!&amp;quot; and TJ stands up like he's going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says &amp;quot;I mean your face-down monster...&amp;quot;|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&amp;amp;A]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Likewise, Chris's homophobia occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A [[gay]] regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for obvious reasons, Chris wasn't likely to ever do him any great physical harm).&amp;lt;ref name=homo/&amp;gt; Chris also assumed that two of the shop's regulars were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks — his literal mind took that as proof that they were a couple.&amp;lt;ref name=homo/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Chris the [[card games|TCG]] gamer==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris.&amp;lt;ref name=mimms2&amp;gt;[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&amp;amp;A]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&amp;amp;A: Chris as a Customer]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' trading card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and proudly hollered &amp;quot;I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref name=mimms2/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's ''Pokémon'' league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|resume]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. &amp;quot;He wasn't actually a gym leader,&amp;quot; says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.&amp;lt;ref name=mimms2/&amp;gt; This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting two weeks, which, according to Lucas, began on 4 April 2008.&amp;lt;ref name=ban/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards in actual games.&amp;lt;ref name=mimms1/&amp;gt; Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|''Universal Fighting System'' card game]], often playing female characters such as Cassandra from the ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' series and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==The GAMe PLACe photograph==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because [[Mimms]] was trying to be covert.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of The GAMe PLACe to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris E-mails: November 2007]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative. According to Mimms, Chris complained about the photo and the ED page so loudly and frequently at the store that the management eventually threatened to kick him out if he didn't stop.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the Internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.&amp;lt;ref name=mimms2/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's &amp;quot;investigations&amp;quot; continued on and off for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in-between desperate apologies for the porn he drew of her), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at [[GameStop]] on 8 March.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being &amp;quot;Monkey&amp;quot;, so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, &amp;quot;Well, that's something new you didn't know about 'be-4' about this 'Chan'.&amp;quot; I noticed a look on his face like, &amp;quot;Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information.&amp;quot; He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that e-mail.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&amp;amp;A]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Chris gets the boot==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mimms and Lucas Q&amp;amp;A]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young [[Niggo|black]] kid. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though &amp;quot;Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point,&amp;quot; says Mimms.&amp;lt;ref name=mimms1/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[Jerkops]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.&amp;lt;ref name=mimms1/&amp;gt;  &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called &amp;quot;Wii Incident&amp;quot;, according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating &amp;quot;Michael Snyder Loves the &amp;quot;F&amp;quot; out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]].&amp;quot; This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
According to the [[CWCipedia]] article for [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder Megan Schroeder], Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his being kicked out of the store would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|destruction of her dignity]], anger issues, and overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wants Chris to ever return to the store.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In February 2011, Chris released the [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|third part of his Autism Tutorial]], in which he shared that he still feels bitter over his banning. In his words: &amp;quot;And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... burns to the ground! Along with Michael Snyder!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Unbanning attempts==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial one-month ban. In [[March 2009]], he attempted to apologize in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game &amp;amp; Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it.]] This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place. A month later, in [[April 2009]], Chris attempted to sneak into the store, but when a cashier recognized him and caught him, Chris ran.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Almost two years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe Chris would try again to get the ban lifted. Chris's conversations with Jackie reveal that he attempted to go to The GAMe PLACe after church on 11 [[April 2010]]. When he was once again recognized by a cashier who threatened to call the cops, Chris got angry and bolted. The next day, Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban (later noting on YouTube, that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&amp;amp;v=u_p6bShW97Y YouTube comment by Mike.]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw YouTube comment by Chris.]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; yelled &amp;quot;JEW!&amp;quot; at him, and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived. No charges were pressed, likely because nobody was actually harmed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], accompanied by a description soliciting harassment and &amp;quot;trolling&amp;quot; of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a &amp;quot;Terms of Use Violation&amp;quot;. Considering [[Chris and race|Chris's antisemitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possibly illegal nature of the recording, it's easy to see why it was pulled.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,&amp;lt;ref name=ban/&amp;gt; and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was the aforementioned &amp;quot;Wii Incident&amp;quot;. Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In [[October 2010]], Chris made [[100 2261.MOV|yet another request]] to be readmitted. Wearing an ancient ''Pokémon'' League T-shirt, he apologized for his behavior and said that the ban was his fault, blaming the whole thing on his infamous &amp;quot;[[stress]]&amp;quot;. He also claimed to have only &amp;quot;shouted a loud outburst&amp;quot; twice. Mike was unmoved.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it is clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe are almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] winning entry to [[China]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==The Charlottesville Incident==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Sny.PNG|thumb|300px|Sonichu wishes Chris luck in his next murder attempt.]]&lt;br /&gt;
On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris visited The GAMe PLACe. [[6 June 2010|He claimed]] that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police. Snyder's version was more succinct:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by [[jerkop|the police]]. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his [[car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The police listened to Chris rant about the trolls for a while and eventually made him delete the pictures and sent him home with a warning. Chris did not tell his parents anything and it would be [[Matthew Noble call|two months]] before they would learn about it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Crime story==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:GAMe_PLACe_Cyber-Bully_Hang-Out_Ad.png|thumb|300px|The coupon itself.]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{main|28 October 2011}}&lt;br /&gt;
On 28 October 2011, Chris and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] got arrested and ended up facing multiple charges; hit-and-run (both), misdemeanor assault, trespassing (Chris), and attacking a law official (Barb). Going by the details of said charges, as well as recent photographs uploaded [[CWCki|on-site]] by Chris himself, it can be assumed that the two tried to enter the store, Chris got in a fight with Michael, the two tried and failed to escape the parking lot before the police arrived, damaging something in the process, and when the cops showed up Barb tried to stop them from arresting Chris.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Since the incident, Chris used a 10% off coupon found in the local newspaper to produce an anti-GAMe PLACe flyer - stating that it was a &amp;quot;cyber-bullies hang-out&amp;quot; and encouraging people to &amp;quot;stay far away&amp;quot;. He also stated that the PLACe will go down by &amp;quot;[his] will, or by someone elses fire-on-a-stick and bombs&amp;quot; suggesting he has learnt absolutely nothing from his chastening court experience.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Google Maps reviews===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Recently, trolls had discovered a scathing review of the place on Google Maps written by a &amp;quot;[[Bob Chandler|Robert]]&amp;quot;. What's notable about this is that the review was written right around the time of the incident.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Owner is very rude and a liar. He banned my autistic friend Chris from the store a couple years ago. I tried to talk it over with the owner who's name is Michael Snyder to see if I can get him to let my friend back to be a customer there again, [[Chris and English|we wouldn't]] give me a reason behind the ban and hung up on me. But that's only the beginning. Just recently he actually had the gall to charge my friend and his WIDOWED MOTHER with some bogus &amp;quot;hit and run&amp;quot; charges. The employees however are pretty nice and try to help you, but if my money is going to the profit of this utterly contemptible owner I would much rather take my business somewhere else.&amp;quot;'''|&amp;quot;Robert&amp;quot;, on the GAMe PLACe.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&amp;amp;q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Several clues made quite a few trolls suspicious that 'Robert' was actually Chris. The mere fact that his &amp;quot;friend&amp;quot; has to point out that he's autistic from the get-go raises a red flag, and the message is pretty much full of biased contempt towards [[Michael Snyder]], and pretty much sets the tone for his anti-GAMe PLACe campaign above. Note also, that the words, &amp;quot;WIDOWED MOTHER&amp;quot; is in all caps, something Chris [[Chris and Writing|routinely does in his writing]] when [[Chris and Anger|angry]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A second review later showed up by someone who identified themselves as &amp;quot;Ben McMullan.&amp;quot; The review read:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Owner is a registered sex offender. He has also historically denied service to autistic patrons.&amp;quot;'''|&amp;quot;Ben McMullan&amp;quot;, on the GAMe PLACe.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&amp;amp;q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It is unknown if this review is by Chris or by a [[troll]], but, judging Ben McMullan's other reviews, which include businesses in Georgia, North Carolina, and Maryland (places Chris has never been), it would appear to be the latter.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Chris's parents and The GAMe PLACe==&lt;br /&gt;
A [[Matthew Noble call|phone conversation]] recorded in early [[August 2010]] reveals many more details about the odd attitude that Bob and Barb Chandler hold towards The GAMe PLACe. During the discussion, they evidence a total ignorance of how Chris behaved at the store and why he was banned. Barb shows signs of still holding a grudge over her visit to the store after Chris's final ban, while Bob suggests that he believed that the trolling of Chris somehow originates from a conspiracy at the store.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Mike and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people — kids there that I think were gay — to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob Chandler, on the GAMe PLACe conspiracy.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Bob does not explain why Mike, Megan, and the &amp;quot;gay kids&amp;quot; (likely a reference to Eric and Tito&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&amp;amp;A#Racism and homophobia&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;) would create this grand conspiracy against Chris, but he goes as far as to accuse them of fraudulently obtaining access to Chris's credit cards and bank accounts. [[Best Buy|Data]] uncovered a month later shows that Chris wasted shit tons of money on PlayStation Network cards and games he won't play in the future, resulting in further debt and an excuse to blame Snyder and the trolls for stealing his credit cards.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External links==&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.cvilleshobbiesgamesandtoys.com/ Current website]&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.thegameplace.com/ Old website]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Places}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{DEFAULTSORT:Game Place}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Attraction Locations]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Dating_education&amp;diff=163566</id>
		<title>Dating education</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Dating_education&amp;diff=163566"/>
		<updated>2012-11-05T00:39:48Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|Date Ed, but not Dated... get it!?]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Those who are unable to, teach.|[[CWC]]|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mumble 4]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Dating Education''' is [[Chris]]'s term for the formal instruction he believes should be provided to instruct people on how to date.  As with &amp;quot;Sex Ed,&amp;quot; Chris abbreviates dating education to &amp;quot;'''Date Ed''',&amp;quot; and frequently makes use of (alleged) joke that the idea of &amp;quot;Date Ed&amp;quot; sounds &amp;quot;Dated.&amp;quot; The lack of Dating Education classes is something Chris has frequently complained about, with him seemingly being unaware of (or just ignoring) the fact that [[Chris and psychology|an appropriately qualified therapist]] can teach him the social skills he desires.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Reading the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating education comic]] and its related material released by Chris is an illuminating experience as it is a rather disturbing illustration of how Chris believes dating works. As such, it unintentionally serves as a rather thorough explanation as to why Chris behaves towards women the way he does, thus making it a must read for anyone wanting to learn about [[Chris and...|Chris and his mindset]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
__TOC__&lt;br /&gt;
==In Real Life==&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my Sonichu Comic Books, and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have Dating Education Classes along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for AFTER 3 or so DATES, but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!! If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating education|Wikipedia autobiography]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Had Chris not been sleeping or reading ''Goosebumps'', he might have noticed that real Sex Ed courses don't provide a step-by-step description of how to [[China|pound tom-toms]], but rather a source of reference for responsible sexual behaviors and some of the relevant biology. Chris seems to assume that the course provided the same educational experience he believes that he has acquired from pornography, as opposed to a run-down on STDs and contraception. An educational experience so useful that Chris even suggested that [[Megan]] could use a refresher, hinting that it would make her feel better about being violated in vivid Crayola color:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Megan Emails, 2008]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
His proposed class depends on a concept that has no worldly counterpart. In short, Chris is an idiot and has no idea how anything works.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Consistent with both his [[autism]] and his own unique resistance to learning, Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions where his natural instincts and social skills (or lack thereof) fail him. In fact, his schools most assuredly did have &amp;quot;Coping Skills&amp;quot; instruction in their [[Wikipedia:Special education|special education curriculum]], which he was required to attend. Sadly, though he has been exposed to:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*Special Education&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Rocky Shoemaker|Pastoral Counseling]]&lt;br /&gt;
*Psychology and Psychiatry&lt;br /&gt;
*God AND the Bear&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
...none of them can offer him the checklist of winning moves that he believes exists (but that has been kept from him). So really, it's entirely his fault that he has no idea how to act around other humans, much less eligible women. For the record, Chris considers Date Ed to be one of his top three inventions&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;amp;mdash;right behind the ''Sonichu'' Universe and a Lego contraption for carrying [[Pokémon]] cards.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==In ''Sonichu''==&lt;br /&gt;
:''Main Article: [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)]]''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Depending on how charitable your mood is, you might argue that Chris's idea for Date Ed is ''stupid'' but not ''insane.'' That is to say that it makes sense for Chris to want some guidance, and to extrapolate that to mean that other people want the same. But then you read ''Sonichu'' Episode 19, and you witness the insanity of DAT 303. DAT 303 is a thinly veiled matchmaking service, with a side order of Sex Ed. It boggles the mind to picture what DAT 101 or 404 might look like. Consider the following:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*Everyone who took this class did so in hope of being paired up with a potential mate. IN THIS CLASS.&lt;br /&gt;
*The class was split perfectly 50% male, 50% female.&lt;br /&gt;
*On the off chance that there was a spare student, the professor expressly states that she herself won't be paired up with anybody, because it conflicts with both regulations AND her current relationship. Dear reader, if this class was just about learning to socialize, why would it matter?&lt;br /&gt;
*The students are given dolls of the opposite sex, to practice their communication skills. ''THE DOLLS ARE CALLED [[Bob Chandler|ROBERT]] AND [[Barb|BARBARA]].''&lt;br /&gt;
*Everybody hooks up. Except, it would seem, for &amp;quot;[[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cwash]],&amp;quot; who only got a 65% in the class.&lt;br /&gt;
* DAT 303. DAT3 03. [[Third Date|DATE 03]]. Yes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==DAT 303==&lt;br /&gt;
===Course Syllabus===&lt;br /&gt;
'''Rationale''':&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Required Text''': ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]'' by Alec Greven&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Materials Provided:''' Robert and Barbara Dolls; iDate Software&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Core concepts''':&lt;br /&gt;
*Staying [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|cool under pressure]]&lt;br /&gt;
*Being [[Friend Zone|friends first]] and letting the relationship grow organically&lt;br /&gt;
*The etiquette of romance: asking before [[Megan|touching]] or [[Emily|kissing]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Methodology:''' &lt;br /&gt;
*Students are paired up by the teacher over the internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person. &lt;br /&gt;
*Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations their dolls. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Final Exam===&lt;br /&gt;
{{collapsible|Final Exam|&lt;br /&gt;
Name_________________ Date__________&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;1. About _% of regular girls ditch boys, and _% of pretty girls ditch boys &lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. 10/100 B. 50/50 C. 73/98 D. 75/13&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;2. Which of the follow characteristics attract your opposite gender best?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Class Clown B. Full Show-Off C. Silent - Types D. None of the Above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;3. When is an appropriate time to ask for a phone number?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Upfront B. Middle of Converstation [sic] C. End of Enjoyable Conversation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;4. Boys can be like magnets, and girls the metal, when the boy is confident, honest, and smart.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;5. When there should be a girl for every boy, all people of your opposite gender is already taken by some other dude or gal.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;6. If the relationship or crush doesn't work out, you...&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Worry B. Move On C. Cry and Pout D. None of the above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;7. How should you approach the person of your opposite gender if you are really shy?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. As a Friend First B. Run Away C. With [[Hanky panky|Hankey]] in Mind D. Send Someone Else&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;8. If she/he gives you a wrong number, try harder on that person.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;9. To keep your girl/guy liking you, you should...&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Keep Clean B. Act Normal C. Show off A skill D. All of the Above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;10 Essay Question.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;From Approach to the end of the conversaion [sic], list a 10-step approach in walking to and talking to people of your opposite gender.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;nowiki&amp;gt;**&amp;lt;/nowiki&amp;gt;FOR ALL Sonichu &amp;amp; Rosechu Site VISITORS AND COMIC READERS**&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY.&lt;br /&gt;
}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Answer Key===&lt;br /&gt;
{{collapsible|Answer Key|&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;Multiple Choice&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
# C&lt;br /&gt;
# D&lt;br /&gt;
# C&lt;br /&gt;
# A&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# A&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# D&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;Free Response&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;This was an Open Question with Multiple Answer Variation depending on person writing the essay.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;Here is what I feel is the BEST EXAMPLE of an answer from Chi-Chian of the PSN; Congratuations! &amp;amp;#61;D&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. Aprroach the boy&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;Hi, what's up!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2. Get the name&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I'm Alex, what are you called?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3. Find out more, get his interest&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;So what are you into? What music do you like? Seen any good movies lately?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4. Give feedback, get opportunities for him to ask questions and get interested&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I'm into anime (my favorite is Puni Puni Poemy, by the way - Kobayashi Poemi is so funny!!). I’ve seen that movie too! I like that actor.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5. Give interest/compliments back&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I love your haircut (t-shirt, belt. etc)! What's that cologne?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6. Get more intimate details&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;So how old are you? Come here often? You from around here?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7. Food is a conversation foundation&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;Can we go get lunch/dinner? Can you buy me something to drink?&lt;br /&gt;
(I think a gentleman should buy the lady a drink. although I don't drink alcohol or smoke).&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8. At the food place you can expand on the themes previously discussed, such as art,&lt;br /&gt;
music or cinema. but allow the boy to talk as well, support him if he gets&lt;br /&gt;
shy or stumped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9. A walk to help with digestion. Usually there's a couple of shops around&lt;br /&gt;
in crowded places, so you can always visit a couple together. Not necesserily&lt;br /&gt;
buying anything, just browsing. A bookshop or a music/video store&lt;br /&gt;
is always a good choice.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10. Alter the walk it‘s time to go, but this is where the telephone trade-offshould start.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;It&amp;quot;s been really cool talking and walking with you and I'd like to do it again sometime.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;Chi-Chian wrote and submitted her answers via e-mail, April 13, 2009.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER WROTE THIS EXAM ON APRIL 11, 2009}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P30.jpg|Final Exam as written by Chris in episode 19.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P105.jpg|Answers to the multiple choice.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P106.jpg|Answers to the essay question.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See Also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Dating|Dating]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]&lt;br /&gt;
[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External Links==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.mybuzzquiz.com/en_US/actions/PlayQuiz.do?fileID=310722 Abridged MyBuzz Quiz version of the exam]&lt;br /&gt;
{{Love quest}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWC-isms}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:CWC-isms]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Dating_education&amp;diff=163565</id>
		<title>Dating education</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Dating_education&amp;diff=163565"/>
		<updated>2012-11-05T00:38:20Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|Date Ed, but not Dated... get it!?]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Those who are unable to, teach.|[[CWC]]|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mumble 4]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Dating Education''' is [[Chris]]'s term for the formal instruction he believes should be provided to instruct people on how to date.  As with &amp;quot;Sex Ed,&amp;quot; Chris abbreviates dating education to &amp;quot;'''Date Ed''',&amp;quot; and frequently makes use of (alleged) joke that the idea of &amp;quot;Date Ed&amp;quot; sounds &amp;quot;Dated.&amp;quot; The lack of Dating Education classes is something Chris has frequently complained about, with him seemingly being unaware of (or just ignoring) the fact that [[Chris and psychology|an appropriately qualified therapist]] can teach him the social skills he desires.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Reading the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating education comic]] and its related material released by Chris is an illuminating experience as it is a rather disturbing illustration of how Chris believes dating works. As such, it unintentionally serves as a rather thorough explanation as to why Chris behaves towards women the way he does, thus making it a must read for anyone wanting to learn about Chris and his mindset.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
__TOC__&lt;br /&gt;
==In Real Life==&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my Sonichu Comic Books, and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have Dating Education Classes along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for AFTER 3 or so DATES, but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!! If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating education|Wikipedia autobiography]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Had Chris not been sleeping or reading ''Goosebumps'', he might have noticed that real Sex Ed courses don't provide a step-by-step description of how to [[China|pound tom-toms]], but rather a source of reference for responsible sexual behaviors and some of the relevant biology. Chris seems to assume that the course provided the same educational experience he believes that he has acquired from pornography, as opposed to a run-down on STDs and contraception. An educational experience so useful that Chris even suggested that [[Megan]] could use a refresher, hinting that it would make her feel better about being violated in vivid Crayola color:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Megan Emails, 2008]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
His proposed class depends on a concept that has no worldly counterpart. In short, Chris is an idiot and has no idea how anything works.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Consistent with both his [[autism]] and his own unique resistance to learning, Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions where his natural instincts and social skills (or lack thereof) fail him. In fact, his schools most assuredly did have &amp;quot;Coping Skills&amp;quot; instruction in their [[Wikipedia:Special education|special education curriculum]], which he was required to attend. Sadly, though he has been exposed to:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*Special Education&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Rocky Shoemaker|Pastoral Counseling]]&lt;br /&gt;
*Psychology and Psychiatry&lt;br /&gt;
*God AND the Bear&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
...none of them can offer him the checklist of winning moves that he believes exists (but that has been kept from him). So really, it's entirely his fault that he has no idea how to act around other humans, much less eligible women. For the record, Chris considers Date Ed to be one of his top three inventions&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;amp;mdash;right behind the ''Sonichu'' Universe and a Lego contraption for carrying [[Pokémon]] cards.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==In ''Sonichu''==&lt;br /&gt;
:''Main Article: [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)]]''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Depending on how charitable your mood is, you might argue that Chris's idea for Date Ed is ''stupid'' but not ''insane.'' That is to say that it makes sense for Chris to want some guidance, and to extrapolate that to mean that other people want the same. But then you read ''Sonichu'' Episode 19, and you witness the insanity of DAT 303. DAT 303 is a thinly veiled matchmaking service, with a side order of Sex Ed. It boggles the mind to picture what DAT 101 or 404 might look like. Consider the following:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*Everyone who took this class did so in hope of being paired up with a potential mate. IN THIS CLASS.&lt;br /&gt;
*The class was split perfectly 50% male, 50% female.&lt;br /&gt;
*On the off chance that there was a spare student, the professor expressly states that she herself won't be paired up with anybody, because it conflicts with both regulations AND her current relationship. Dear reader, if this class was just about learning to socialize, why would it matter?&lt;br /&gt;
*The students are given dolls of the opposite sex, to practice their communication skills. ''THE DOLLS ARE CALLED [[Bob Chandler|ROBERT]] AND [[Barb|BARBARA]].''&lt;br /&gt;
*Everybody hooks up. Except, it would seem, for &amp;quot;[[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cwash]],&amp;quot; who only got a 65% in the class.&lt;br /&gt;
* DAT 303. DAT3 03. [[Third Date|DATE 03]]. Yes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==DAT 303==&lt;br /&gt;
===Course Syllabus===&lt;br /&gt;
'''Rationale''':&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Required Text''': ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]'' by Alec Greven&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Materials Provided:''' Robert and Barbara Dolls; iDate Software&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Core concepts''':&lt;br /&gt;
*Staying [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|cool under pressure]]&lt;br /&gt;
*Being [[Friend Zone|friends first]] and letting the relationship grow organically&lt;br /&gt;
*The etiquette of romance: asking before [[Megan|touching]] or [[Emily|kissing]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Methodology:''' &lt;br /&gt;
*Students are paired up by the teacher over the internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person. &lt;br /&gt;
*Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations their dolls. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Final Exam===&lt;br /&gt;
{{collapsible|Final Exam|&lt;br /&gt;
Name_________________ Date__________&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;1. About _% of regular girls ditch boys, and _% of pretty girls ditch boys &lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. 10/100 B. 50/50 C. 73/98 D. 75/13&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;2. Which of the follow characteristics attract your opposite gender best?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Class Clown B. Full Show-Off C. Silent - Types D. None of the Above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;3. When is an appropriate time to ask for a phone number?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Upfront B. Middle of Converstation [sic] C. End of Enjoyable Conversation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;4. Boys can be like magnets, and girls the metal, when the boy is confident, honest, and smart.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;5. When there should be a girl for every boy, all people of your opposite gender is already taken by some other dude or gal.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;6. If the relationship or crush doesn't work out, you...&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Worry B. Move On C. Cry and Pout D. None of the above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;7. How should you approach the person of your opposite gender if you are really shy?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. As a Friend First B. Run Away C. With [[Hanky panky|Hankey]] in Mind D. Send Someone Else&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;8. If she/he gives you a wrong number, try harder on that person.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;9. To keep your girl/guy liking you, you should...&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Keep Clean B. Act Normal C. Show off A skill D. All of the Above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;10 Essay Question.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;From Approach to the end of the conversaion [sic], list a 10-step approach in walking to and talking to people of your opposite gender.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;nowiki&amp;gt;**&amp;lt;/nowiki&amp;gt;FOR ALL Sonichu &amp;amp; Rosechu Site VISITORS AND COMIC READERS**&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY.&lt;br /&gt;
}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Answer Key===&lt;br /&gt;
{{collapsible|Answer Key|&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;Multiple Choice&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
# C&lt;br /&gt;
# D&lt;br /&gt;
# C&lt;br /&gt;
# A&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# A&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# D&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;Free Response&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;This was an Open Question with Multiple Answer Variation depending on person writing the essay.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;Here is what I feel is the BEST EXAMPLE of an answer from Chi-Chian of the PSN; Congratuations! &amp;amp;#61;D&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. Aprroach the boy&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;Hi, what's up!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2. Get the name&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I'm Alex, what are you called?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3. Find out more, get his interest&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;So what are you into? What music do you like? Seen any good movies lately?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4. Give feedback, get opportunities for him to ask questions and get interested&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I'm into anime (my favorite is Puni Puni Poemy, by the way - Kobayashi Poemi is so funny!!). I’ve seen that movie too! I like that actor.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5. Give interest/compliments back&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I love your haircut (t-shirt, belt. etc)! What's that cologne?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6. Get more intimate details&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;So how old are you? Come here often? You from around here?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7. Food is a conversation foundation&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;Can we go get lunch/dinner? Can you buy me something to drink?&lt;br /&gt;
(I think a gentleman should buy the lady a drink. although I don't drink alcohol or smoke).&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8. At the food place you can expand on the themes previously discussed, such as art,&lt;br /&gt;
music or cinema. but allow the boy to talk as well, support him if he gets&lt;br /&gt;
shy or stumped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9. A walk to help with digestion. Usually there's a couple of shops around&lt;br /&gt;
in crowded places, so you can always visit a couple together. Not necesserily&lt;br /&gt;
buying anything, just browsing. A bookshop or a music/video store&lt;br /&gt;
is always a good choice.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10. Alter the walk it‘s time to go, but this is where the telephone trade-offshould start.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;It&amp;quot;s been really cool talking and walking with you and I'd like to do it again sometime.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;Chi-Chian wrote and submitted her answers via e-mail, April 13, 2009.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER WROTE THIS EXAM ON APRIL 11, 2009}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P30.jpg|Final Exam as written by Chris in episode 19.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P105.jpg|Answers to the multiple choice.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P106.jpg|Answers to the essay question.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See Also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Dating|Dating]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]&lt;br /&gt;
[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External Links==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.mybuzzquiz.com/en_US/actions/PlayQuiz.do?fileID=310722 Abridged MyBuzz Quiz version of the exam]&lt;br /&gt;
{{Love quest}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWC-isms}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:CWC-isms]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Dating_education&amp;diff=163564</id>
		<title>Dating education</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Dating_education&amp;diff=163564"/>
		<updated>2012-11-05T00:36:22Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|Date Ed, but not Dated... get it!?]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Those who are unable to, teach.|[[CWC]]|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mumble 4]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Dating Education''' is [[Chris]]'s term for the formal instruction he believes should be provided to instruct people on how to interact with the opposite sex.  As with &amp;quot;Sex Ed,&amp;quot; Chris abbreviates dating education to &amp;quot;'''Date Ed''',&amp;quot; and frequently makes use of (alleged) joke that the idea of &amp;quot;Date Ed&amp;quot; sounds &amp;quot;Dated.&amp;quot; The lack of Dating Education classes is something Chris has frequently complained about, with him seemingly being unaware of (or just ignoring) the fact that [[Chris and psychology|an appropriately qualified therapist]] can teach him the social skills he desires.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Reading the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating education comic]] and its related material released by Chris is an illuminating experience; it not only serves as an introduction and overview of how Chris doesn't understand the opposite sex and the psychology of dating, but it is also a rather disturbing illustration of how Chris believes dating works. As such, it unintentionally serves as a rather thorough explanation as to why Chris behaves towards women the way he does, thus making it a must read for anyone wanting to learn about Chris and his mindset.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
__TOC__&lt;br /&gt;
==In Real Life==&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my Sonichu Comic Books, and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have Dating Education Classes along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for AFTER 3 or so DATES, but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!! If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating education|Wikipedia autobiography]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Had Chris not been sleeping or reading ''Goosebumps'', he might have noticed that real Sex Ed courses don't provide a step-by-step description of how to [[China|pound tom-toms]], but rather a source of reference for responsible sexual behaviors and some of the relevant biology. Chris seems to assume that the course provided the same educational experience he believes that he has acquired from pornography, as opposed to a run-down on STDs and contraception. An educational experience so useful that Chris even suggested that [[Megan]] could use a refresher, hinting that it would make her feel better about being violated in vivid Crayola color:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Megan Emails, 2008]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
His proposed class depends on a concept that has no worldly counterpart. In short, Chris is an idiot and has no idea how anything works.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Consistent with both his [[autism]] and his own unique resistance to learning, Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions where his natural instincts and social skills (or lack thereof) fail him. In fact, his schools most assuredly did have &amp;quot;Coping Skills&amp;quot; instruction in their [[Wikipedia:Special education|special education curriculum]], which he was required to attend. Sadly, though he has been exposed to:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*Special Education&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Rocky Shoemaker|Pastoral Counseling]]&lt;br /&gt;
*Psychology and Psychiatry&lt;br /&gt;
*God AND the Bear&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
...none of them can offer him the checklist of winning moves that he believes exists (but that has been kept from him). So really, it's entirely his fault that he has no idea how to act around other humans, much less eligible women. For the record, Chris considers Date Ed to be one of his top three inventions&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;amp;mdash;right behind the ''Sonichu'' Universe and a Lego contraption for carrying [[Pokémon]] cards.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==In ''Sonichu''==&lt;br /&gt;
:''Main Article: [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)]]''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Depending on how charitable your mood is, you might argue that Chris's idea for Date Ed is ''stupid'' but not ''insane.'' That is to say that it makes sense for Chris to want some guidance, and to extrapolate that to mean that other people want the same. But then you read ''Sonichu'' Episode 19, and you witness the insanity of DAT 303. DAT 303 is a thinly veiled matchmaking service, with a side order of Sex Ed. It boggles the mind to picture what DAT 101 or 404 might look like. Consider the following:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*Everyone who took this class did so in hope of being paired up with a potential mate. IN THIS CLASS.&lt;br /&gt;
*The class was split perfectly 50% male, 50% female.&lt;br /&gt;
*On the off chance that there was a spare student, the professor expressly states that she herself won't be paired up with anybody, because it conflicts with both regulations AND her current relationship. Dear reader, if this class was just about learning to socialize, why would it matter?&lt;br /&gt;
*The students are given dolls of the opposite sex, to practice their communication skills. ''THE DOLLS ARE CALLED [[Bob Chandler|ROBERT]] AND [[Barb|BARBARA]].''&lt;br /&gt;
*Everybody hooks up. Except, it would seem, for &amp;quot;[[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cwash]],&amp;quot; who only got a 65% in the class.&lt;br /&gt;
* DAT 303. DAT3 03. [[Third Date|DATE 03]]. Yes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==DAT 303==&lt;br /&gt;
===Course Syllabus===&lt;br /&gt;
'''Rationale''':&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Required Text''': ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]'' by Alec Greven&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Materials Provided:''' Robert and Barbara Dolls; iDate Software&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Core concepts''':&lt;br /&gt;
*Staying [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|cool under pressure]]&lt;br /&gt;
*Being [[Friend Zone|friends first]] and letting the relationship grow organically&lt;br /&gt;
*The etiquette of romance: asking before [[Megan|touching]] or [[Emily|kissing]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Methodology:''' &lt;br /&gt;
*Students are paired up by the teacher over the internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person. &lt;br /&gt;
*Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations their dolls. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Final Exam===&lt;br /&gt;
{{collapsible|Final Exam|&lt;br /&gt;
Name_________________ Date__________&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;1. About _% of regular girls ditch boys, and _% of pretty girls ditch boys &lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. 10/100 B. 50/50 C. 73/98 D. 75/13&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;2. Which of the follow characteristics attract your opposite gender best?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Class Clown B. Full Show-Off C. Silent - Types D. None of the Above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;3. When is an appropriate time to ask for a phone number?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Upfront B. Middle of Converstation [sic] C. End of Enjoyable Conversation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;4. Boys can be like magnets, and girls the metal, when the boy is confident, honest, and smart.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;5. When there should be a girl for every boy, all people of your opposite gender is already taken by some other dude or gal.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;6. If the relationship or crush doesn't work out, you...&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Worry B. Move On C. Cry and Pout D. None of the above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;7. How should you approach the person of your opposite gender if you are really shy?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. As a Friend First B. Run Away C. With [[Hanky panky|Hankey]] in Mind D. Send Someone Else&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;8. If she/he gives you a wrong number, try harder on that person.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;9. To keep your girl/guy liking you, you should...&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Keep Clean B. Act Normal C. Show off A skill D. All of the Above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;10 Essay Question.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;From Approach to the end of the conversaion [sic], list a 10-step approach in walking to and talking to people of your opposite gender.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;nowiki&amp;gt;**&amp;lt;/nowiki&amp;gt;FOR ALL Sonichu &amp;amp; Rosechu Site VISITORS AND COMIC READERS**&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY.&lt;br /&gt;
}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Answer Key===&lt;br /&gt;
{{collapsible|Answer Key|&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;Multiple Choice&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
# C&lt;br /&gt;
# D&lt;br /&gt;
# C&lt;br /&gt;
# A&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# A&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# D&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;Free Response&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;This was an Open Question with Multiple Answer Variation depending on person writing the essay.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;Here is what I feel is the BEST EXAMPLE of an answer from Chi-Chian of the PSN; Congratuations! &amp;amp;#61;D&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. Aprroach the boy&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;Hi, what's up!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2. Get the name&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I'm Alex, what are you called?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3. Find out more, get his interest&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;So what are you into? What music do you like? Seen any good movies lately?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4. Give feedback, get opportunities for him to ask questions and get interested&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I'm into anime (my favorite is Puni Puni Poemy, by the way - Kobayashi Poemi is so funny!!). I’ve seen that movie too! I like that actor.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5. Give interest/compliments back&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I love your haircut (t-shirt, belt. etc)! What's that cologne?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6. Get more intimate details&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;So how old are you? Come here often? You from around here?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7. Food is a conversation foundation&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;Can we go get lunch/dinner? Can you buy me something to drink?&lt;br /&gt;
(I think a gentleman should buy the lady a drink. although I don't drink alcohol or smoke).&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8. At the food place you can expand on the themes previously discussed, such as art,&lt;br /&gt;
music or cinema. but allow the boy to talk as well, support him if he gets&lt;br /&gt;
shy or stumped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9. A walk to help with digestion. Usually there's a couple of shops around&lt;br /&gt;
in crowded places, so you can always visit a couple together. Not necesserily&lt;br /&gt;
buying anything, just browsing. A bookshop or a music/video store&lt;br /&gt;
is always a good choice.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10. Alter the walk it‘s time to go, but this is where the telephone trade-offshould start.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;It&amp;quot;s been really cool talking and walking with you and I'd like to do it again sometime.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;Chi-Chian wrote and submitted her answers via e-mail, April 13, 2009.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER WROTE THIS EXAM ON APRIL 11, 2009}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P30.jpg|Final Exam as written by Chris in episode 19.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P105.jpg|Answers to the multiple choice.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P106.jpg|Answers to the essay question.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See Also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Dating|Dating]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]&lt;br /&gt;
[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External Links==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.mybuzzquiz.com/en_US/actions/PlayQuiz.do?fileID=310722 Abridged MyBuzz Quiz version of the exam]&lt;br /&gt;
{{Love quest}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWC-isms}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:CWC-isms]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Dating_education&amp;diff=163563</id>
		<title>Dating education</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Dating_education&amp;diff=163563"/>
		<updated>2012-11-05T00:34:56Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|Date Ed, but not Dated... get it!?]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Those who are unable to, teach.|[[CWC]]|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mumble 4]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Dating Education''' is [[Chris]]'s term for the formal instruction he believes should be provided to instruct people on how to date.  As with &amp;quot;Sex Ed,&amp;quot; Chris abbreviates dating education to &amp;quot;'''Date Ed''',&amp;quot; and frequently makes use of (alleged) joke that the idea of &amp;quot;Date Ed&amp;quot; sounds &amp;quot;Dated.&amp;quot; The lack of Dating Education classes is something Chris has frequently complained about, with him seemingly being unaware of (or just ignoring) the fact that [[Chris and psychology|an appropriately qualified therapist]] can teach him the social skills he desires.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Reading the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating education comic]] and its related material released by Chris is an illuminating experience; it not only serves as an introduction and overview of how Chris doesn't understand the opposite sex and the psychology of dating, but it is also a rather disturbing illustration of how Chris believes dating works. As such, it unintentionally serves as a rather thorough explanation as to why Chris behaves towards women the way he does, thus making it a must read for anyone wanting to learn about Chris and his mindset.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
__TOC__&lt;br /&gt;
==In Real Life==&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my Sonichu Comic Books, and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have Dating Education Classes along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for AFTER 3 or so DATES, but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!! If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating education|Wikipedia autobiography]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Had Chris not been sleeping or reading ''Goosebumps'', he might have noticed that real Sex Ed courses don't provide a step-by-step description of how to [[China|pound tom-toms]], but rather a source of reference for responsible sexual behaviors and some of the relevant biology. Chris seems to assume that the course provided the same educational experience he believes that he has acquired from pornography, as opposed to a run-down on STDs and contraception. An educational experience so useful that Chris even suggested that [[Megan]] could use a refresher, hinting that it would make her feel better about being violated in vivid Crayola color:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Megan Emails, 2008]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
His proposed class depends on a concept that has no worldly counterpart. In short, Chris is an idiot and has no idea how anything works.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Consistent with both his [[autism]] and his own unique resistance to learning, Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions where his natural instincts and social skills (or lack thereof) fail him. In fact, his schools most assuredly did have &amp;quot;Coping Skills&amp;quot; instruction in their [[Wikipedia:Special education|special education curriculum]], which he was required to attend. Sadly, though he has been exposed to:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*Special Education&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Rocky Shoemaker|Pastoral Counseling]]&lt;br /&gt;
*Psychology and Psychiatry&lt;br /&gt;
*God AND the Bear&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
...none of them can offer him the checklist of winning moves that he believes exists (but that has been kept from him). So really, it's entirely his fault that he has no idea how to act around other humans, much less eligible women. For the record, Chris considers Date Ed to be one of his top three inventions&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;amp;mdash;right behind the ''Sonichu'' Universe and a Lego contraption for carrying [[Pokémon]] cards.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==In ''Sonichu''==&lt;br /&gt;
:''Main Article: [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)]]''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Depending on how charitable your mood is, you might argue that Chris's idea for Date Ed is ''stupid'' but not ''insane.'' That is to say that it makes sense for Chris to want some guidance, and to extrapolate that to mean that other people want the same. But then you read ''Sonichu'' Episode 19, and you witness the insanity of DAT 303. DAT 303 is a thinly veiled matchmaking service, with a side order of Sex Ed. It boggles the mind to picture what DAT 101 or 404 might look like. Consider the following:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*Everyone who took this class did so in hope of being paired up with a potential mate. IN THIS CLASS.&lt;br /&gt;
*The class was split perfectly 50% male, 50% female.&lt;br /&gt;
*On the off chance that there was a spare student, the professor expressly states that she herself won't be paired up with anybody, because it conflicts with both regulations AND her current relationship. Dear reader, if this class was just about learning to socialize, why would it matter?&lt;br /&gt;
*The students are given dolls of the opposite sex, to practice their communication skills. ''THE DOLLS ARE CALLED [[Bob Chandler|ROBERT]] AND [[Barb|BARBARA]].''&lt;br /&gt;
*Everybody hooks up. Except, it would seem, for &amp;quot;[[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cwash]],&amp;quot; who only got a 65% in the class.&lt;br /&gt;
* DAT 303. DAT3 03. [[Third Date|DATE 03]]. Yes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==DAT 303==&lt;br /&gt;
===Course Syllabus===&lt;br /&gt;
'''Rationale''':&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Required Text''': ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]'' by Alec Greven&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Materials Provided:''' Robert and Barbara Dolls; iDate Software&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Core concepts''':&lt;br /&gt;
*Staying [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|cool under pressure]]&lt;br /&gt;
*Being [[Friend Zone|friends first]] and letting the relationship grow organically&lt;br /&gt;
*The etiquette of romance: asking before [[Megan|touching]] or [[Emily|kissing]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Methodology:''' &lt;br /&gt;
*Students are paired up by the teacher over the internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person. &lt;br /&gt;
*Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations their dolls. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Final Exam===&lt;br /&gt;
{{collapsible|Final Exam|&lt;br /&gt;
Name_________________ Date__________&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;1. About _% of regular girls ditch boys, and _% of pretty girls ditch boys &lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. 10/100 B. 50/50 C. 73/98 D. 75/13&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;2. Which of the follow characteristics attract your opposite gender best?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Class Clown B. Full Show-Off C. Silent - Types D. None of the Above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;3. When is an appropriate time to ask for a phone number?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Upfront B. Middle of Converstation [sic] C. End of Enjoyable Conversation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;4. Boys can be like magnets, and girls the metal, when the boy is confident, honest, and smart.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;5. When there should be a girl for every boy, all people of your opposite gender is already taken by some other dude or gal.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;6. If the relationship or crush doesn't work out, you...&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Worry B. Move On C. Cry and Pout D. None of the above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;7. How should you approach the person of your opposite gender if you are really shy?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. As a Friend First B. Run Away C. With [[Hanky panky|Hankey]] in Mind D. Send Someone Else&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;8. If she/he gives you a wrong number, try harder on that person.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;9. To keep your girl/guy liking you, you should...&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Keep Clean B. Act Normal C. Show off A skill D. All of the Above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;10 Essay Question.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;From Approach to the end of the conversaion [sic], list a 10-step approach in walking to and talking to people of your opposite gender.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;nowiki&amp;gt;**&amp;lt;/nowiki&amp;gt;FOR ALL Sonichu &amp;amp; Rosechu Site VISITORS AND COMIC READERS**&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY.&lt;br /&gt;
}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Answer Key===&lt;br /&gt;
{{collapsible|Answer Key|&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;Multiple Choice&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
# C&lt;br /&gt;
# D&lt;br /&gt;
# C&lt;br /&gt;
# A&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# A&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# D&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;Free Response&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;This was an Open Question with Multiple Answer Variation depending on person writing the essay.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;Here is what I feel is the BEST EXAMPLE of an answer from Chi-Chian of the PSN; Congratuations! &amp;amp;#61;D&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. Aprroach the boy&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;Hi, what's up!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2. Get the name&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I'm Alex, what are you called?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3. Find out more, get his interest&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;So what are you into? What music do you like? Seen any good movies lately?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4. Give feedback, get opportunities for him to ask questions and get interested&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I'm into anime (my favorite is Puni Puni Poemy, by the way - Kobayashi Poemi is so funny!!). I’ve seen that movie too! I like that actor.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5. Give interest/compliments back&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I love your haircut (t-shirt, belt. etc)! What's that cologne?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6. Get more intimate details&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;So how old are you? Come here often? You from around here?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7. Food is a conversation foundation&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;Can we go get lunch/dinner? Can you buy me something to drink?&lt;br /&gt;
(I think a gentleman should buy the lady a drink. although I don't drink alcohol or smoke).&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8. At the food place you can expand on the themes previously discussed, such as art,&lt;br /&gt;
music or cinema. but allow the boy to talk as well, support him if he gets&lt;br /&gt;
shy or stumped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9. A walk to help with digestion. Usually there's a couple of shops around&lt;br /&gt;
in crowded places, so you can always visit a couple together. Not necesserily&lt;br /&gt;
buying anything, just browsing. A bookshop or a music/video store&lt;br /&gt;
is always a good choice.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10. Alter the walk it‘s time to go, but this is where the telephone trade-offshould start.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;It&amp;quot;s been really cool talking and walking with you and I'd like to do it again sometime.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;Chi-Chian wrote and submitted her answers via e-mail, April 13, 2009.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER WROTE THIS EXAM ON APRIL 11, 2009}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P30.jpg|Final Exam as written by Chris in episode 19.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P105.jpg|Answers to the multiple choice.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P106.jpg|Answers to the essay question.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See Also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Dating|Dating]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]&lt;br /&gt;
[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External Links==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.mybuzzquiz.com/en_US/actions/PlayQuiz.do?fileID=310722 Abridged MyBuzz Quiz version of the exam]&lt;br /&gt;
{{Love quest}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWC-isms}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:CWC-isms]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Dating_education&amp;diff=163562</id>
		<title>Dating education</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Dating_education&amp;diff=163562"/>
		<updated>2012-11-05T00:33:31Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|Date Ed, but not Dated... get it!?]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Those who are unable to, teach.|[[CWC]]|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mumble 4]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Dating Education''' is [[Chris]]'s term for the formal instruction he believes should be provided to instruct people on how to date.  As with &amp;quot;Sex Ed,&amp;quot; Chris abbreviates dating education to &amp;quot;'''Date Ed''',&amp;quot; and frequently makes use of (alleged) joke that the idea of &amp;quot;Date Ed&amp;quot; sounds &amp;quot;Dated.&amp;quot; The lack of Dating Education classes is something Chris has frequently complained about, with him seemingly being unaware of (or just ignoring) the fact that [[Chris and psychology|an appropriately qualified therapist]] can teach him the social skills he desires.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Reading the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating education comic]] and its related material released by Chris is an illuminating experience; it not only serves as an introduction and overview of how Chris doesn't understand the opposite sex and the psychology of dating, but it also a rather disturbing illustration of how Chris believes dating works. As such, it unintentionally serves as a rather thorough explanation as to why Chris behaves towards women the way he does, thus making it a must read for anyone wanting to learn about Chris and his mindset.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
__TOC__&lt;br /&gt;
==In Real Life==&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my Sonichu Comic Books, and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have Dating Education Classes along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for AFTER 3 or so DATES, but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!! If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating education|Wikipedia autobiography]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Had Chris not been sleeping or reading ''Goosebumps'', he might have noticed that real Sex Ed courses don't provide a step-by-step description of how to [[China|pound tom-toms]], but rather a source of reference for responsible sexual behaviors and some of the relevant biology. Chris seems to assume that the course provided the same educational experience he believes that he has acquired from pornography, as opposed to a run-down on STDs and contraception. An educational experience so useful that Chris even suggested that [[Megan]] could use a refresher, hinting that it would make her feel better about being violated in vivid Crayola color:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Megan Emails, 2008]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
His proposed class depends on a concept that has no worldly counterpart. In short, Chris is an idiot and has no idea how anything works.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Consistent with both his [[autism]] and his own unique resistance to learning, Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions where his natural instincts and social skills (or lack thereof) fail him. In fact, his schools most assuredly did have &amp;quot;Coping Skills&amp;quot; instruction in their [[Wikipedia:Special education|special education curriculum]], which he was required to attend. Sadly, though he has been exposed to:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*Special Education&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Rocky Shoemaker|Pastoral Counseling]]&lt;br /&gt;
*Psychology and Psychiatry&lt;br /&gt;
*God AND the Bear&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
...none of them can offer him the checklist of winning moves that he believes exists (but that has been kept from him). So really, it's entirely his fault that he has no idea how to act around other humans, much less eligible women. For the record, Chris considers Date Ed to be one of his top three inventions&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;amp;mdash;right behind the ''Sonichu'' Universe and a Lego contraption for carrying [[Pokémon]] cards.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==In ''Sonichu''==&lt;br /&gt;
:''Main Article: [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)]]''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Depending on how charitable your mood is, you might argue that Chris's idea for Date Ed is ''stupid'' but not ''insane.'' That is to say that it makes sense for Chris to want some guidance, and to extrapolate that to mean that other people want the same. But then you read ''Sonichu'' Episode 19, and you witness the insanity of DAT 303. DAT 303 is a thinly veiled matchmaking service, with a side order of Sex Ed. It boggles the mind to picture what DAT 101 or 404 might look like. Consider the following:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*Everyone who took this class did so in hope of being paired up with a potential mate. IN THIS CLASS.&lt;br /&gt;
*The class was split perfectly 50% male, 50% female.&lt;br /&gt;
*On the off chance that there was a spare student, the professor expressly states that she herself won't be paired up with anybody, because it conflicts with both regulations AND her current relationship. Dear reader, if this class was just about learning to socialize, why would it matter?&lt;br /&gt;
*The students are given dolls of the opposite sex, to practice their communication skills. ''THE DOLLS ARE CALLED [[Bob Chandler|ROBERT]] AND [[Barb|BARBARA]].''&lt;br /&gt;
*Everybody hooks up. Except, it would seem, for &amp;quot;[[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cwash]],&amp;quot; who only got a 65% in the class.&lt;br /&gt;
* DAT 303. DAT3 03. [[Third Date|DATE 03]]. Yes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==DAT 303==&lt;br /&gt;
===Course Syllabus===&lt;br /&gt;
'''Rationale''':&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Required Text''': ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]'' by Alec Greven&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Materials Provided:''' Robert and Barbara Dolls; iDate Software&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Core concepts''':&lt;br /&gt;
*Staying [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|cool under pressure]]&lt;br /&gt;
*Being [[Friend Zone|friends first]] and letting the relationship grow organically&lt;br /&gt;
*The etiquette of romance: asking before [[Megan|touching]] or [[Emily|kissing]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Methodology:''' &lt;br /&gt;
*Students are paired up by the teacher over the internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person. &lt;br /&gt;
*Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations their dolls. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Final Exam===&lt;br /&gt;
{{collapsible|Final Exam|&lt;br /&gt;
Name_________________ Date__________&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;1. About _% of regular girls ditch boys, and _% of pretty girls ditch boys &lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. 10/100 B. 50/50 C. 73/98 D. 75/13&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;2. Which of the follow characteristics attract your opposite gender best?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Class Clown B. Full Show-Off C. Silent - Types D. None of the Above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;3. When is an appropriate time to ask for a phone number?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Upfront B. Middle of Converstation [sic] C. End of Enjoyable Conversation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;4. Boys can be like magnets, and girls the metal, when the boy is confident, honest, and smart.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;5. When there should be a girl for every boy, all people of your opposite gender is already taken by some other dude or gal.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;6. If the relationship or crush doesn't work out, you...&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Worry B. Move On C. Cry and Pout D. None of the above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;7. How should you approach the person of your opposite gender if you are really shy?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. As a Friend First B. Run Away C. With [[Hanky panky|Hankey]] in Mind D. Send Someone Else&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;8. If she/he gives you a wrong number, try harder on that person.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;9. To keep your girl/guy liking you, you should...&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Keep Clean B. Act Normal C. Show off A skill D. All of the Above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;10 Essay Question.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;From Approach to the end of the conversaion [sic], list a 10-step approach in walking to and talking to people of your opposite gender.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;nowiki&amp;gt;**&amp;lt;/nowiki&amp;gt;FOR ALL Sonichu &amp;amp; Rosechu Site VISITORS AND COMIC READERS**&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY.&lt;br /&gt;
}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Answer Key===&lt;br /&gt;
{{collapsible|Answer Key|&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;Multiple Choice&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
# C&lt;br /&gt;
# D&lt;br /&gt;
# C&lt;br /&gt;
# A&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# A&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# D&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;Free Response&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;This was an Open Question with Multiple Answer Variation depending on person writing the essay.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;Here is what I feel is the BEST EXAMPLE of an answer from Chi-Chian of the PSN; Congratuations! &amp;amp;#61;D&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. Aprroach the boy&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;Hi, what's up!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2. Get the name&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I'm Alex, what are you called?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3. Find out more, get his interest&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;So what are you into? What music do you like? Seen any good movies lately?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4. Give feedback, get opportunities for him to ask questions and get interested&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I'm into anime (my favorite is Puni Puni Poemy, by the way - Kobayashi Poemi is so funny!!). I’ve seen that movie too! I like that actor.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5. Give interest/compliments back&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I love your haircut (t-shirt, belt. etc)! What's that cologne?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6. Get more intimate details&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;So how old are you? Come here often? You from around here?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7. Food is a conversation foundation&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;Can we go get lunch/dinner? Can you buy me something to drink?&lt;br /&gt;
(I think a gentleman should buy the lady a drink. although I don't drink alcohol or smoke).&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8. At the food place you can expand on the themes previously discussed, such as art,&lt;br /&gt;
music or cinema. but allow the boy to talk as well, support him if he gets&lt;br /&gt;
shy or stumped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9. A walk to help with digestion. Usually there's a couple of shops around&lt;br /&gt;
in crowded places, so you can always visit a couple together. Not necesserily&lt;br /&gt;
buying anything, just browsing. A bookshop or a music/video store&lt;br /&gt;
is always a good choice.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10. Alter the walk it‘s time to go, but this is where the telephone trade-offshould start.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;It&amp;quot;s been really cool talking and walking with you and I'd like to do it again sometime.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;Chi-Chian wrote and submitted her answers via e-mail, April 13, 2009.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER WROTE THIS EXAM ON APRIL 11, 2009}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P30.jpg|Final Exam as written by Chris in episode 19.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P105.jpg|Answers to the multiple choice.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P106.jpg|Answers to the essay question.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See Also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Dating|Dating]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]&lt;br /&gt;
[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External Links==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.mybuzzquiz.com/en_US/actions/PlayQuiz.do?fileID=310722 Abridged MyBuzz Quiz version of the exam]&lt;br /&gt;
{{Love quest}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWC-isms}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:CWC-isms]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Dating_education&amp;diff=163561</id>
		<title>Dating education</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Dating_education&amp;diff=163561"/>
		<updated>2012-11-05T00:32:39Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|Date Ed, but not Dated... get it!?]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Those who are unable to, teach.|[[CWC]]|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mumble 4]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Dating Education''' is [[Chris]]'s term for the formal instruction he believes should be provided to instruct people on how to date.  As with &amp;quot;Sex Ed,&amp;quot; Chris abbreviates dating education to &amp;quot;'''Date Ed''',&amp;quot; and frequently makes use of (alleged) joke that the idea of &amp;quot;Date Ed&amp;quot; sounds &amp;quot;Dated.&amp;quot; The lack of Dating Education classes is something Chris has frequently complained about, with him seemingly being unaware of (or just ignoring) the fact that [[Chris and psychology|an appropriately qualified therapist]] can teach him the social skills he desires.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Reading the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)| Dating Education]] comic and its related material released by Chris is an illuminating experience; it not only serves as an introduction and overview of how Chris doesn't understand the opposite sex and the psychology of dating, but it also a rather disturbing illustration of how Chris believes dating works. As such, it unintentionally serves as a rather thorough explanation as to why Chris behaves towards women the way he does, thus making it a must read for anyone wanting to learn about Chris and his mindset.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
__TOC__&lt;br /&gt;
==In Real Life==&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my Sonichu Comic Books, and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have Dating Education Classes along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for AFTER 3 or so DATES, but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!! If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating education|Wikipedia autobiography]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Had Chris not been sleeping or reading ''Goosebumps'', he might have noticed that real Sex Ed courses don't provide a step-by-step description of how to [[China|pound tom-toms]], but rather a source of reference for responsible sexual behaviors and some of the relevant biology. Chris seems to assume that the course provided the same educational experience he believes that he has acquired from pornography, as opposed to a run-down on STDs and contraception. An educational experience so useful that Chris even suggested that [[Megan]] could use a refresher, hinting that it would make her feel better about being violated in vivid Crayola color:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Megan Emails, 2008]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
His proposed class depends on a concept that has no worldly counterpart. In short, Chris is an idiot and has no idea how anything works.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Consistent with both his [[autism]] and his own unique resistance to learning, Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions where his natural instincts and social skills (or lack thereof) fail him. In fact, his schools most assuredly did have &amp;quot;Coping Skills&amp;quot; instruction in their [[Wikipedia:Special education|special education curriculum]], which he was required to attend. Sadly, though he has been exposed to:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*Special Education&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Rocky Shoemaker|Pastoral Counseling]]&lt;br /&gt;
*Psychology and Psychiatry&lt;br /&gt;
*God AND the Bear&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
...none of them can offer him the checklist of winning moves that he believes exists (but that has been kept from him). So really, it's entirely his fault that he has no idea how to act around other humans, much less eligible women. For the record, Chris considers Date Ed to be one of his top three inventions&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;amp;mdash;right behind the ''Sonichu'' Universe and a Lego contraption for carrying [[Pokémon]] cards.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==In ''Sonichu''==&lt;br /&gt;
:''Main Article: [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)]]''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Depending on how charitable your mood is, you might argue that Chris's idea for Date Ed is ''stupid'' but not ''insane.'' That is to say that it makes sense for Chris to want some guidance, and to extrapolate that to mean that other people want the same. But then you read ''Sonichu'' Episode 19, and you witness the insanity of DAT 303. DAT 303 is a thinly veiled matchmaking service, with a side order of Sex Ed. It boggles the mind to picture what DAT 101 or 404 might look like. Consider the following:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*Everyone who took this class did so in hope of being paired up with a potential mate. IN THIS CLASS.&lt;br /&gt;
*The class was split perfectly 50% male, 50% female.&lt;br /&gt;
*On the off chance that there was a spare student, the professor expressly states that she herself won't be paired up with anybody, because it conflicts with both regulations AND her current relationship. Dear reader, if this class was just about learning to socialize, why would it matter?&lt;br /&gt;
*The students are given dolls of the opposite sex, to practice their communication skills. ''THE DOLLS ARE CALLED [[Bob Chandler|ROBERT]] AND [[Barb|BARBARA]].''&lt;br /&gt;
*Everybody hooks up. Except, it would seem, for &amp;quot;[[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cwash]],&amp;quot; who only got a 65% in the class.&lt;br /&gt;
* DAT 303. DAT3 03. [[Third Date|DATE 03]]. Yes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==DAT 303==&lt;br /&gt;
===Course Syllabus===&lt;br /&gt;
'''Rationale''':&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.|CWC|&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Required Text''': ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]'' by Alec Greven&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Materials Provided:''' Robert and Barbara Dolls; iDate Software&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Core concepts''':&lt;br /&gt;
*Staying [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|cool under pressure]]&lt;br /&gt;
*Being [[Friend Zone|friends first]] and letting the relationship grow organically&lt;br /&gt;
*The etiquette of romance: asking before [[Megan|touching]] or [[Emily|kissing]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Methodology:''' &lt;br /&gt;
*Students are paired up by the teacher over the internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person. &lt;br /&gt;
*Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations their dolls. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Final Exam===&lt;br /&gt;
{{collapsible|Final Exam|&lt;br /&gt;
Name_________________ Date__________&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;1. About _% of regular girls ditch boys, and _% of pretty girls ditch boys &lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. 10/100 B. 50/50 C. 73/98 D. 75/13&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;2. Which of the follow characteristics attract your opposite gender best?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Class Clown B. Full Show-Off C. Silent - Types D. None of the Above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;3. When is an appropriate time to ask for a phone number?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Upfront B. Middle of Converstation [sic] C. End of Enjoyable Conversation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;4. Boys can be like magnets, and girls the metal, when the boy is confident, honest, and smart.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;5. When there should be a girl for every boy, all people of your opposite gender is already taken by some other dude or gal.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;6. If the relationship or crush doesn't work out, you...&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Worry B. Move On C. Cry and Pout D. None of the above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;7. How should you approach the person of your opposite gender if you are really shy?&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. As a Friend First B. Run Away C. With [[Hanky panky|Hankey]] in Mind D. Send Someone Else&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;8. If she/he gives you a wrong number, try harder on that person.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. True B. False&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;9. To keep your girl/guy liking you, you should...&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;A. Keep Clean B. Act Normal C. Show off A skill D. All of the Above&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;10 Essay Question.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;From Approach to the end of the conversaion [sic], list a 10-step approach in walking to and talking to people of your opposite gender.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;nowiki&amp;gt;**&amp;lt;/nowiki&amp;gt;FOR ALL Sonichu &amp;amp; Rosechu Site VISITORS AND COMIC READERS**&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY.&lt;br /&gt;
}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Answer Key===&lt;br /&gt;
{{collapsible|Answer Key|&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;Multiple Choice&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
# C&lt;br /&gt;
# D&lt;br /&gt;
# C&lt;br /&gt;
# A&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# A&lt;br /&gt;
# B&lt;br /&gt;
# D&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;Free Response&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;This was an Open Question with Multiple Answer Variation depending on person writing the essay.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;Here is what I feel is the BEST EXAMPLE of an answer from Chi-Chian of the PSN; Congratuations! &amp;amp;#61;D&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. Aprroach the boy&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;Hi, what's up!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2. Get the name&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I'm Alex, what are you called?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3. Find out more, get his interest&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;So what are you into? What music do you like? Seen any good movies lately?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4. Give feedback, get opportunities for him to ask questions and get interested&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I'm into anime (my favorite is Puni Puni Poemy, by the way - Kobayashi Poemi is so funny!!). I’ve seen that movie too! I like that actor.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5. Give interest/compliments back&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;I love your haircut (t-shirt, belt. etc)! What's that cologne?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6. Get more intimate details&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;So how old are you? Come here often? You from around here?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7. Food is a conversation foundation&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;Can we go get lunch/dinner? Can you buy me something to drink?&lt;br /&gt;
(I think a gentleman should buy the lady a drink. although I don't drink alcohol or smoke).&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8. At the food place you can expand on the themes previously discussed, such as art,&lt;br /&gt;
music or cinema. but allow the boy to talk as well, support him if he gets&lt;br /&gt;
shy or stumped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9. A walk to help with digestion. Usually there's a couple of shops around&lt;br /&gt;
in crowded places, so you can always visit a couple together. Not necesserily&lt;br /&gt;
buying anything, just browsing. A bookshop or a music/video store&lt;br /&gt;
is always a good choice.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10. Alter the walk it‘s time to go, but this is where the telephone trade-offshould start.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
- &amp;quot;It&amp;quot;s been really cool talking and walking with you and I'd like to do it again sometime.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;Chi-Chian wrote and submitted her answers via e-mail, April 13, 2009.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;amp;#42;&amp;amp;#42;CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER WROTE THIS EXAM ON APRIL 11, 2009}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P30.jpg|Final Exam as written by Chris in episode 19.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P105.jpg|Answers to the multiple choice.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:SchuComic9P106.jpg|Answers to the essay question.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See Also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Dating|Dating]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]&lt;br /&gt;
[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External Links==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.mybuzzquiz.com/en_US/actions/PlayQuiz.do?fileID=310722 Abridged MyBuzz Quiz version of the exam]&lt;br /&gt;
{{Love quest}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWC-isms}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:CWC-isms]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Manchester_High_School&amp;diff=162020</id>
		<title>Manchester High School</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Manchester_High_School&amp;diff=162020"/>
		<updated>2012-07-21T01:05:48Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Manchesterhigh.jpg|thumb|left|The home to the only decent four years of Chris's life]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:CWC12andson.jpg|thumb|right|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|This is what Chris actually believes]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|If what you have done yesterday still looks big to you, you haven't done much today.|[[Wikipedia:Mikhail Gorbachev|Mikhail Gorbachev]], perfectly describing Chris in relation to his high school years.}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just sad to leave, after I graduated. 'Cause I had to leave all my friends. I had the good life.|Chris, ten years after finishing high school, crying alone in his dark, toy-filled bedroom&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Greene County Conspiracy]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Manchester High School''', located in [[Wikipedia:Midlothian, Virginia|Midlothian, Virginia]], was attended by [[Chris]] from [[1996]] to [[2000]] ([[Wikipedia:Secondary education in the United States#High_school_.28grades_9_through_12.29|ninth grade to twelfth grade]]). Chris portrays this period as among the happiest in his life&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:Image:0311-CWCNote7.jpg|DVD]], note 7&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;, even though he proudly slept through a good deal of it.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Among Chris's classes were the usual subjects, two years of [[Spanish]],&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Over the Years|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 8&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; [[Dating education|Sex Ed]], &amp;quot;Coping Skills&amp;quot;, and a lot of [[art]] classes. According to Chris, he achieved an ''[[Honor Roll]] Grade Streak ALL THE WAY THROUGH M.H.S.''&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;teen&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; However, according to the video [[Song of Christian]], he failed [[English]] class during his sophomore year of high school. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is very proud of the fact that he was mainstreamed throughout high school, even though, the captions under the majority of his teachers' names in the extended slideshow say &amp;quot;special education&amp;quot;. This implies that Chris was mainstreamed to the extent that he attended the same school as his typically functioning peers, but nothing more than that. He also rode on the &amp;quot;freakin' Handicapped, Special-Ed bus&amp;quot;, an experience which haunts him to this day.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Jackie Chat 9&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Jackie Chat 9]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris was a [[Wikipedia:Water boy|water boy]] (and a &amp;quot;manager&amp;quot;, [[Chris and reality|according to him]]) for the Manchester High Lancers [[Bionic|basketball]] team, along with [[Joseph Herring]]. He got a certificate and an embroidery &amp;quot;M&amp;quot; for this work.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;teen&amp;quot; /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Known Accomplishments==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0242-CWC&amp;amp;VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|Chris happily serving [[niggos]]. Ironic.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
;10th Grade&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Song of Christian|F on English assignment]]&lt;br /&gt;
 &lt;br /&gt;
;12th Grade&lt;br /&gt;
* September: Praise from his [[English]] teacher for the short story &amp;quot;[[How the Pokémon came into Our Poke Balls]]&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
* March: CD cover for ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]''&lt;br /&gt;
* April: Naps in class for the self-documentary &amp;quot;[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Social life==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0569-MHSDiploma.jpg|thumb|Chris's diploma. The public school system has failed us yet again]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Most of Chris's friends were [[gal-pal]]s, not [[Asperchu|joy-boys]]. He had classes and ate lunch with them every other day (the high school has alternating &amp;quot;odd&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;even&amp;quot; days). There were immature boys on the school bus, which he dreaded. Chris's purported friends:&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Kellie Andes]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Tiffany Gowen]]&lt;br /&gt;
* Sarah B.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], pages 9 and 13&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* Miranda, partner in Science class&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 14&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* Molly, happy and giggly&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Joseph Herring]]&lt;br /&gt;
* Brian, [[JERK|boyfriend]] of Sarah&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 8&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
==Go Lancers!==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's servitude to the basketball team, probably the only meaningful interaction he had with other [[jerks|males]] throughout his entire adolescence, remains a cherished memory. So much so, that he continues to obsess over it '''ten years''' after graduating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A few references were slipped into the comic. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Manchester High was featured heavily. It begins with [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] hanging around his old school [[Pedofork|without being there on any official business.]] [[Magi-Chan]] then brings Chris and [[Sonichu]] back in time to [[1996#1996|1996,]] when Chris was a student. In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], [[Megagi La Skunk]] was depicted wearing a Lancers cheerleading outfit.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In [[August 2010]], Chris made a handful of characters and a vehicle in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' to commemorate his time with the basketball team. The Manchester High ''ModNation'' collection includes the team bus, two of the players, a [[Laura Beth Dorazio|cheerleader]], and Chris himself at age 14, looking as if he's afraid of being jumped by something just behind him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==The Bus==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
At age 15, Chris was &amp;quot;demoted&amp;quot; from the regular school bus to the Special Ed bus. Out of all the weird, embarrassing details of his life that he has no problem discussing, this is one experience that he has rarely spoken about. It's clear that Chris was scarred by this experience of being forced to spend time with the seriously mentally handicapped, or &amp;quot;[[slow-in-the-mind]] retards&amp;quot; [[CWC-isms|as he calls them]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris switched to the Bus of Doom after a confrontation with another student on the Normal Bus. Much like every other time Chris claims to have been physically assaulted, it is unclear exactly what happened. He has only told the story twice;&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Jackie Chat 9&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Kacey Call 9]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; in one version it sounds like Chris started a fight because he wanted to get off the bus first, and in the other version it sounds like a [[niggo]] punched him for no reason. Whatever happened, Chris cites this incident as the reason for his exclusion from Gen Pop.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==The Seinor Prom==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris took his [[Barbara|mom]] to the seinor [sic] prom. [[Gal-pal]] [[Tiffany]] felt sorry for him, and so she asked him to dance, which they did so for what seemed like hours to Chris (and arguably seemed like hours to Tiffany too). Chris hopes to re-enact this historic moment at an upcoming high school reunion.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Seinor Prom]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; That is assuming there aren't security guards there for the express purpose of keeping him out.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Gallery===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Image:0539-Prom1.jpg|Stay classy, Virginia.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|&amp;quot;Don't go gropin' anyone tonight, Chris... I'm assburgin'.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
Image:0541-Prom3.jpg&lt;br /&gt;
Image:0542-Prom4.jpg|Chris was probably more interested in the food than the two young ladies.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:0543-Prom5.jpg|Chris is feeling all by his lonesome at this point.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:0544-Prom6.jpg|Some random people at prom, giving what would be considered a rude gesture in some countries.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:0545-Prom7.jpg&lt;br /&gt;
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Tiffany to the rescue!&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Graduation==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|thumb|Chris in his graduation gown. The white thing around his neck generally indicates [[honor roll]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
For Chris, graduation was an emotional experience. In his own words:&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Graduation]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|I ONLY got recognized for my Grades with a Star Pin, yet they had [[Chris and English|MORE FANCIER]] AWARDS for more important qualities. I should have been Highly Recognized for [[Chris and art|my ARTISTIC TALENTS]] I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for [[Chris and his Ego|any of my Talents]]. [[Chris and Anger|I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD]]!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I had gotten over the Award Ceremony on the Graduation Day, but to add Lemon Juice to an open wound, it was a Dark and Rainy Day that Day, and they handed out MORE TALENTED AWARDS right before handing out any diplomas. When I went up there to get mine, I was feeling depressed, upset, crestfallen and ticked off. When the award was handed to me, I took it without looking anyone in the eye, and I did not shake anyone's hands. I just walked back to my seat in the Graduating Crowd. Then soon after, I just walked the wrong way up the center aisle, found an isolated table and cried myself out. [[Barbara|My mother]] found me later and comforted me; [[Bob|my father]] was ashamed of the way I acted, and he would later still be angry at recalling the moment. [[Tiffany]] also found me and gave me a caring moment of condolences back there. I gave her a plush Psyduck as a graduating gift beforehand.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In another retelling, Chris reveals more straight anger:&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;DVD, graduation notes [[:Image:0566-GraduationNote1.jpg|1]] and [[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|2]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|So while I sit there and feel happy for my friends who got something, I was so %$@# JEALOUS. I was a High-Functioning Autistic Boy who came WAAAAAAAAAY BEYOND OUT OF HIS SOCIAL SHELL, only to get ZILCH, NADA, ZIP; A BIG FAT ZERO! I felt so Devistated and Out Of Sync :'(&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[...]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I ended up doing what I did when I went up there to accept the diploma; NO HANDSHAKE, TEARS, AND RUNNING AWAY TO HIDE. They don't even have any pictures of that in the Y2K Yearbook; the caption should have read, &amp;quot;Student Christian Chandler is Depressed and Sad for some reasons. His response is tears and fright.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Even now as I type this, I am still *&amp;amp;$%^#@ Angry that I didn't get anything for the things I've poured my heart, soul and hand-work into, nor emerged as a friend to quite a few, nor developing a positive social behavior similar to [[Red Skelton]].}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The evil [[Count Graduon]]'s name was derived from Chris's feelings about his graduation.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Jackie Chat 7]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Lingering attachments==&lt;br /&gt;
Generally speaking, Chris's memories of high school still hold great significance for him. This is unsurprising, given that high school was the last time he regularly got out and about in a social environment that seems to have at least partially accepted and tolerated him, though this was most likely because snapping at an [[autistic]] child in a public school can get you suspended. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has mentioned that he frequently [[dreams]] of his days in high school, recalling his teenage years in a nostalgic tone. A [[100 2178|May 2010 YouTube video]] features a flood of wistful reminiscing from Chris, as he laments having to move away from the suburb where he went to high school: &amp;quot;I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just sad to leave, when I, after I graduated.&amp;quot; A good half a dozen of the women he recalled in his archive of &amp;quot;[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and past sweethearts]]&amp;quot; (and most of the ones who weren't trolls) were girls he knew in high school.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There's also the matter of the aforementioned Count Graduon, where Chris may have created an embodiment of the concept of leaving high school to be the dominant villain of the entire Sonichu saga.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Reunion plans==&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I know it was Promised, because at the end of the slideshow they had at the Prom, it had a HUGE Message stating, &amp;quot;See You at the Reunion in Ten Year.&amp;quot; I am no longer going to take the insubordination and belaboring-to-no-promise-keeping sitting down anymore.|Chris on his &amp;quot;Promised Reunion&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Jackie E-mails 9]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In his &amp;quot;Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts&amp;quot; page from the [[CWCipedia]], Chris notes that he looks forward to attending his class reunion. He doesn't know exactly when this will take place, and made no effort to find out about it until mid-2010, as he assumed somebody from the school would have contacted him with directions by then.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris uploaded a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|video address]] to [[YouTube]], wherein he reveals that, up to that point, he hadn't heard anything about a coming reunion. He decided to organize one himself, only to give up relatively quickly. In [[November 2010]], there may have been a class reunion, but either way, Chris did not attend.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Image:481-TungstenPoster.JPG|Tungsten. That is all.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:0232-CWCNote3.jpg|Becoming B-ball manager&lt;br /&gt;
Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|Prom Note&lt;br /&gt;
Image:0509-CWCNote8.jpg|Classes&lt;br /&gt;
Image:0566-GraduationNote1.jpg|Graduation Note 1&lt;br /&gt;
Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|Graduation Note 2&lt;br /&gt;
Image:0568-GraduationNote3.jpg|Graduation Note 3&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Count Graduon]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[The High School Story]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Honor roll]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External links==&lt;br /&gt;
*[http://www.chesterfield.k12.va.us/Schools/Manchester_HS/home.html Homepage]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Wikipedia:Manchester High School (Virginia)|Wikipedia article on Manchester High School]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Places}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Places]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Education]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=White_knight&amp;diff=161484</id>
		<title>White knight</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=White_knight&amp;diff=161484"/>
		<updated>2012-07-05T02:30:37Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Chris' life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|CWC Music Video ~ &amp;quot;Holding Out For a Hero&amp;quot;]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the Internet to help or defend someone else on the Internet against other people on the Internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Motives==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Pity===&lt;br /&gt;
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Empathy===&lt;br /&gt;
The Internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BAAAAAAAW! ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' is a cruel game. Quit it!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===&lt;br /&gt;
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that he suffers from serious mental deficiencies of some kind.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg &amp;quot;...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like...&amp;quot;]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since he probably hasn't &amp;quot;updated&amp;quot; his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris cannot &amp;quot;read between the lines&amp;quot; or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;Anecdote by [[Mimms]].&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably many more have helped give us the man-child we know today.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===&lt;br /&gt;
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===For the sake of Barbara's sanity===&lt;br /&gt;
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that [[Snorlax]] should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Reasons against white knighting==&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't===&lt;br /&gt;
Lets face it, all Chris had to do to end the trolling was to just turn off his computer. If he would have done this small step, this whole debacle would have never happened. The trolls had nothing personal against Chris; They just decided he was a worthy target after reading Sonichu and seeing how he spazzed out at his page on Encyclopedia Dramatica. As soon as he would have quit responding to their provocations and quit posting videos of him tard raging on YouTube, the trolls would have just moved on to someone else. Instead, Chris tried to &amp;quot;fight back&amp;quot; against them, in turn revealing more and more information about himself until the trolls knew all of his contact info and all the details of his life. That was when the trolling went past a point of no return, spilling into Chris' personal life so much that there would be absolutely no way for him to ever disassociate himself from it. Even when he was away from the computer, he found himself subjected to trolling by them calling his cell phone, sending him mail and them following him around in public. While the obsessive trolling of Chris was nothing less than shitty, the fact still remains that Chris was the one who allowed them to have such control over his life thanks to him always overreacting to every little provocation and him handing over all his personal information to them.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris lacks empathy himself===&lt;br /&gt;
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''&lt;br /&gt;
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no &amp;quot;theory of mind&amp;quot;: if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
:&amp;lt;font color=&amp;quot;#009900&amp;quot;&amp;gt;'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;&amp;lt;/font&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
:&amp;lt;font color=&amp;quot;#4682B4&amp;quot;&amp;gt;'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.&amp;lt;/font&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were &amp;quot;I'd feel terrible&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;I'd just cry.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to deal with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides themselves might not exactly find this amusing.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s &amp;quot;Common Questions&amp;quot;, Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of &amp;quot;two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with,&amp;quot; [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as &amp;quot;weak as the Twin Towers&amp;quot; and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Twin Falling Towers]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was &amp;quot;pitiful&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris-Chan. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vivian's AIM chat]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a chauvinist have nothing to do with his autism.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris is beyond pity===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. &amp;quot;[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]&amp;quot;... &amp;quot;[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n&amp;amp;mdash;!]]&amp;quot;]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, &amp;quot;provocation&amp;quot; in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|''nasty'']] [[Death threats|things]]. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids]] during card games and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the Internet, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground-Up]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Megan Saga&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, &amp;quot;I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Megan Saga&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, [[Chris and his ego|''him'']]. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|&amp;quot;SonichuIzCool&amp;quot;]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''is'') probably the only genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her &amp;quot;naïve and [[slow in the mind]].&amp;quot; He told her she had to &amp;quot;come out where [he] can meet [her].&amp;quot; Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the terrorist attacks of the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]] on 9/11. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], encouraged him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris is under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Mike Jr. is now married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grief and anger with three words: [[Chris and remorse|&amp;quot;I am sorry.&amp;quot;]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris cares only for himself===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]]. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris is not a good net citizen===&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his &amp;quot;fans&amp;quot;. He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block&amp;lt;!--see talk page--&amp;gt; him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like &amp;quot;webhost's house, webhost's rules,&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;beggars can't be choosers,&amp;quot; but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris will reject your advice===&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]&lt;br /&gt;
Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being [[Obesity|overweight]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: &amp;quot;i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try.&amp;quot; Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire videogame development company, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. [[February_2012|Twice.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===&lt;br /&gt;
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. He even bounced back after being [[Mumble 9|verbally abused by a room of trolls]], one of whom told him to go kill himself. So what's the problem?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris made himself an outcast===&lt;br /&gt;
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===[[Stress]]===&lt;br /&gt;
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crash into slumber]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris will not even read your message===&lt;br /&gt;
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===The trolling will not cease===&lt;br /&gt;
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his &amp;quot;attraction methods&amp;quot; and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant man-children flouting its rules.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the Internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the Internet, that's Chris trolling himself.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract real life trolls at the mental hospital. If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to [[28 October 2011|circumstances that cannot be foreseen]], he will be trolled there as well.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly-kicked autistic]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===&lt;br /&gt;
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube Guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube Guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His Internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
One could argue that if Chris eventually &amp;quot;retired&amp;quot; from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, fat, virgin bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an Internet-famous unemployable, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris treats &amp;quot;fans&amp;quot; and white knights like crap===&lt;br /&gt;
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams &amp;quot;I'M STRAIGHT!&amp;quot; when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current &amp;quot;girlfriend&amp;quot; is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to &amp;quot;break up the relationship for the lulz.&amp;quot; He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email &amp;amp;mdash; get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic &amp;amp;mdash; and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them &amp;amp;ndash; some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the &amp;quot;Great Director Chandler&amp;quot;, he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris' life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him===&lt;br /&gt;
As of 2012, Chris is a total human trainwreck, slowly losing the last of his sanity while he waits to get thrown in the slammer. While the systematic trolling of him throughout the last few years have something to do with his degrading mental state (especially his extreme paranoia and distrust for everyone except his his mom and pastor), the fact still remains that his life's horrible state is mainly caused by factors outside of the internet. Even if Chris never went anywhere near a computer, he would still be a lonely outcast as his poor upbringing gave him such warped views of the world and lead him to engage in such bizarre behavior that he drove away every person he tried to connect with; He would still be living in unsanitary living conditions due to Barb's hoarding and the fact that his house has not been cleaned in the better part of a decade; He would still be banned from all of his favorite hangouts due to his loitering and hostile behavior to other patrons. Also, at the core of it all is how Chris decided that he would be better off living off government handouts while drawing unpublishable comic books in his room instead of getting a job and heading down a career path, which would have been his one-way ticket to escaping the cesspool that is [[14 Branchland Court]] and living a fulfilling life, not unlike that of [[Cole Smithey|his half brother]]. Instead, he decided to remain dependent on his elderly, emotionally disturbed parents; look at how well that worked out for him. That decision in of itself ensured that Chris would never amount to anything more than a welfare leech living an empty, unfulfilling life, no matter what other actions he would have taken to decide its course.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Examples==&lt;br /&gt;
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===White Knights on YouTube===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and [[PandaHalo]]. Also, she released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the original curator of the [[CWCville Library]], Arjen Van Dierten.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS'''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
====TV Tropes====&lt;br /&gt;
[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do [[28 October 2011|gets you thrown in prison]] or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Unfortunately, the editor in question and fails to realize that [[Chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]] The message was later removed due to a shift in policy regarding the article.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Conclusion==&lt;br /&gt;
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal human alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three aforementioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See Also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Champthom/Alogging|Alogging]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[White knight emails]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External links==&lt;br /&gt;
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:People]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Trolling]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=White_knight&amp;diff=161127</id>
		<title>White knight</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=White_knight&amp;diff=161127"/>
		<updated>2012-06-24T04:20:25Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|CWC Music Video ~ &amp;quot;Holding Out For a Hero&amp;quot;]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the Internet to help or defend someone else on the Internet against other people on the Internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Motives==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Pity===&lt;br /&gt;
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Empathy===&lt;br /&gt;
The Internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BAAAAAAAW! ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' is a cruel game. Quit it!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===&lt;br /&gt;
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that he suffers from serious mental deficiencies of some kind.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg &amp;quot;...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like...&amp;quot;]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since he probably hasn't &amp;quot;updated&amp;quot; his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris cannot &amp;quot;read between the lines&amp;quot; or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;Anecdote by [[Mimms]].&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably many more have helped give us the man-child we know today.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===&lt;br /&gt;
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===For the sake of Barbara's sanity===&lt;br /&gt;
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that [[Snorlax]] should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Reasons against white knighting==&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't===&lt;br /&gt;
Lets face it, all Chris had to do to end the trolling was to just turn off his computer. If he would have done this small step, this whole debacle would have never happened. The trolls had nothing personal against Chris; They just decided he was a worthy target after reading Sonichu and seeing how he spazzed out at his page on Encyclopedia Dramatica. As soon as he would have quit responding to their provocations and quit posting videos of him tard raging on YouTube, the trolls would have just moved on to someone else. Instead, Chris tried to &amp;quot;fight back&amp;quot; against them, in turn revealing more and more information about himself until the trolls knew all of his contact info and all the details of his life. That was when the trolling went past a point of no return, spilling into Chris' personal life so much that there would be absolutely no way for him to ever disassociate himself from it. Even when he was away from the computer, he found himself subjected to trolling by them calling his cell phone, sending him mail and them following him around in public. While the obsessive trolling of Chris was nothing less than shitty, the fact still remains that Chris was the one who allowed them to have such control over his life thanks to him always overreacting to every little provocation and him handing over all his personal information to them.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris lacks empathy himself===&lt;br /&gt;
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''&lt;br /&gt;
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no &amp;quot;theory of mind&amp;quot;: if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
:&amp;lt;font color=&amp;quot;#009900&amp;quot;&amp;gt;'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;&amp;lt;/font&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
:&amp;lt;font color=&amp;quot;#4682B4&amp;quot;&amp;gt;'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.&amp;lt;/font&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were &amp;quot;I'd feel terrible&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;I'd just cry.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to deal with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides themselves might not exactly find this amusing.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s &amp;quot;Common Questions&amp;quot;, Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of &amp;quot;two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with,&amp;quot; [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as &amp;quot;weak as the Twin Towers&amp;quot; and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Twin Falling Towers]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was &amp;quot;pitiful&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris-Chan. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vivian's AIM chat]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a chauvinist have nothing to do with his autism.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris is beyond pity===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. &amp;quot;[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]&amp;quot;... &amp;quot;[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n&amp;amp;mdash;!]]&amp;quot;]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, &amp;quot;provocation&amp;quot; in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|''nasty'']] [[Death threats|things]]. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids]] during card games and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the Internet, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground-Up]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Megan Saga&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, &amp;quot;I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Megan Saga&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, [[Chris and his ego|''him'']]. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|&amp;quot;SonichuIzCool&amp;quot;]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''is'') probably the only genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her &amp;quot;naïve and [[slow in the mind]].&amp;quot; He told her she had to &amp;quot;come out where [he] can meet [her].&amp;quot; Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the terrorist attacks of the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]] on 9/11. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], encouraged him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris is under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Mike Jr. is now married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grief and anger with three words: [[Chris and remorse|&amp;quot;I am sorry.&amp;quot;]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris cares only for himself===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]]. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris is not a good net citizen===&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his &amp;quot;fans&amp;quot;. He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block&amp;lt;!--see talk page--&amp;gt; him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like &amp;quot;webhost's house, webhost's rules,&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;beggars can't be choosers,&amp;quot; but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris will reject your advice===&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]&lt;br /&gt;
Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being [[Obesity|overweight]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: &amp;quot;i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try.&amp;quot; Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire videogame development company, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. [[February_2012|Twice.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===&lt;br /&gt;
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. He even bounced back after being [[Mumble 9|verbally abused by a room of trolls]], one of whom told him to go kill himself. So what's the problem?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris made himself an outcast===&lt;br /&gt;
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===[[Stress]]===&lt;br /&gt;
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crash into slumber]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris will not even read your message===&lt;br /&gt;
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===The trolling will not cease===&lt;br /&gt;
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his &amp;quot;attraction methods&amp;quot; and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant man-children flouting its rules.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the Internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the Internet, that's Chris trolling himself.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract real life trolls at the mental hospital. If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to [[28 October 2011|circumstances that cannot be foreseen]], he will be trolled there as well.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly-kicked autistic]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===&lt;br /&gt;
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube Guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube Guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His Internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
One could argue that if Chris eventually &amp;quot;retired&amp;quot; from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, fat, virgin bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an Internet-famous unemployable, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris treats &amp;quot;fans&amp;quot; and white knights like crap===&lt;br /&gt;
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams &amp;quot;I'M STRAIGHT!&amp;quot; when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current &amp;quot;girlfriend&amp;quot; is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to &amp;quot;break up the relationship for the lulz.&amp;quot; He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email &amp;amp;mdash; get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic &amp;amp;mdash; and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them &amp;amp;ndash; some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the &amp;quot;Great Director Chandler&amp;quot;, he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris' life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him===&lt;br /&gt;
As of 2012, Chris is a total human trainwreck, slowly losing the last of his sanity while he waits to get thrown in the slammer. While the systematic trolling of him throughout the last few years have something to do with his degrading mental state (especially his extreme paranoia and distrust for everyone except his his mom and pastor), the fact still remains that his life's horrible state is mainly caused by factors outside of the internet. He would still be a lonely outcast as his poor upbringing gave him such warped views of the world and lead him to engage in such bizarre behavior that he drove away every person he tried to connect with. He would still be living in unsanitary living conditions due to Barb's hoarding and the fact that his house has not been cleaned in the better part of a decade. He would still be banned from all of his favorite hangouts due to his loitering and hostile behavior to other patrons. Also, at the core of it all is how Chris decided that he would be better off living off government handouts while drawing unpublishable comic books in his room instead of getting a job and heading down a career path, which would have been his one-way ticket to escaping the cesspool that is [[14 Branchland Court]] and living a fulfilling life, not unlike that of [[Cole Smithey|his half brother]]. Instead, he decided to remain dependent on his elderly, emotionally disturbed parents; look at how well that worked out for him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Examples==&lt;br /&gt;
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===White Knights on YouTube===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and [[PandaHalo]]. Also, she released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the original curator of the [[CWCville Library]], Arjen Van Dierten.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS'''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
====TV Tropes====&lt;br /&gt;
[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do [[28 October 2011|gets you thrown in prison]] or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Unfortunately, the editor in question and fails to realize that [[Chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]] The message was later removed due to a shift in policy regarding the article.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Conclusion==&lt;br /&gt;
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal human alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three aforementioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See Also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Champthom/Alogging|Alogging]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[White knight emails]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External links==&lt;br /&gt;
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:People]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Trolling]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=White_knight&amp;diff=161126</id>
		<title>White knight</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=White_knight&amp;diff=161126"/>
		<updated>2012-06-24T04:19:07Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* =Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|CWC Music Video ~ &amp;quot;Holding Out For a Hero&amp;quot;]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the Internet to help or defend someone else on the Internet against other people on the Internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Motives==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Pity===&lt;br /&gt;
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Empathy===&lt;br /&gt;
The Internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BAAAAAAAW! ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' is a cruel game. Quit it!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===&lt;br /&gt;
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that he suffers from serious mental deficiencies of some kind.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg &amp;quot;...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like...&amp;quot;]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since he probably hasn't &amp;quot;updated&amp;quot; his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris cannot &amp;quot;read between the lines&amp;quot; or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;Anecdote by [[Mimms]].&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably many more have helped give us the man-child we know today.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===&lt;br /&gt;
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===For the sake of Barbara's sanity===&lt;br /&gt;
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that [[Snorlax]] should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Reasons against white knighting==&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't===&lt;br /&gt;
Lets face it, all Chris had to do to end the trolling was to just turn off his computer. If he would have done this small step, this whole debacle would have never happened. The trolls had nothing personal against Chris; They just decided he was a worthy target after reading Sonichu and seeing how he spazzed out at his page on Encyclopedia Dramatica. As soon as he would have quit responding to their provocations and quit posting videos of him tard raging on YouTube, the trolls would have just moved on to someone else. Instead, Chris tried to &amp;quot;fight back&amp;quot; against them, in turn revealing more and more information about himself until the trolls knew all of his contact info and all the details of his life. That was when the trolling went past a point of no return, spilling into Chris' personal life so much that there would be absolutely no way for him to ever disassociate himself from it. Even when he was away from the computer, he found himself subjected to trolling by them calling his cell phone, sending him mail and them following him around in public. While the obsessive trolling of Chris was nothing less than shitty, the fact still remains that Chris was the one who allowed them to have such control over his life thanks to him always overreacting to every little provocation and him handing over all his personal information to him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris lacks empathy himself===&lt;br /&gt;
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''&lt;br /&gt;
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no &amp;quot;theory of mind&amp;quot;: if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
:&amp;lt;font color=&amp;quot;#009900&amp;quot;&amp;gt;'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;&amp;lt;/font&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
:&amp;lt;font color=&amp;quot;#4682B4&amp;quot;&amp;gt;'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.&amp;lt;/font&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were &amp;quot;I'd feel terrible&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;I'd just cry.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to deal with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides themselves might not exactly find this amusing.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s &amp;quot;Common Questions&amp;quot;, Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of &amp;quot;two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with,&amp;quot; [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as &amp;quot;weak as the Twin Towers&amp;quot; and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Twin Falling Towers]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was &amp;quot;pitiful&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris-Chan. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vivian's AIM chat]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a chauvinist have nothing to do with his autism.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris is beyond pity===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. &amp;quot;[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]&amp;quot;... &amp;quot;[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n&amp;amp;mdash;!]]&amp;quot;]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, &amp;quot;provocation&amp;quot; in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|''nasty'']] [[Death threats|things]]. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids]] during card games and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the Internet, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground-Up]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Megan Saga&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, &amp;quot;I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Megan Saga&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, [[Chris and his ego|''him'']]. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|&amp;quot;SonichuIzCool&amp;quot;]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''is'') probably the only genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her &amp;quot;naïve and [[slow in the mind]].&amp;quot; He told her she had to &amp;quot;come out where [he] can meet [her].&amp;quot; Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the terrorist attacks of the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]] on 9/11. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], encouraged him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris is under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Mike Jr. is now married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grief and anger with three words: [[Chris and remorse|&amp;quot;I am sorry.&amp;quot;]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris cares only for himself===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]]. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris is not a good net citizen===&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his &amp;quot;fans&amp;quot;. He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block&amp;lt;!--see talk page--&amp;gt; him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like &amp;quot;webhost's house, webhost's rules,&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;beggars can't be choosers,&amp;quot; but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris will reject your advice===&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]&lt;br /&gt;
Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being [[Obesity|overweight]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: &amp;quot;i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try.&amp;quot; Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire videogame development company, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. [[February_2012|Twice.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===&lt;br /&gt;
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. He even bounced back after being [[Mumble 9|verbally abused by a room of trolls]], one of whom told him to go kill himself. So what's the problem?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris made himself an outcast===&lt;br /&gt;
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===[[Stress]]===&lt;br /&gt;
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crash into slumber]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris will not even read your message===&lt;br /&gt;
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===The trolling will not cease===&lt;br /&gt;
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his &amp;quot;attraction methods&amp;quot; and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant man-children flouting its rules.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the Internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the Internet, that's Chris trolling himself.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract real life trolls at the mental hospital. If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to [[28 October 2011|circumstances that cannot be foreseen]], he will be trolled there as well.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly-kicked autistic]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===&lt;br /&gt;
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube Guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube Guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His Internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
One could argue that if Chris eventually &amp;quot;retired&amp;quot; from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, fat, virgin bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an Internet-famous unemployable, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris treats &amp;quot;fans&amp;quot; and white knights like crap===&lt;br /&gt;
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams &amp;quot;I'M STRAIGHT!&amp;quot; when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current &amp;quot;girlfriend&amp;quot; is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to &amp;quot;break up the relationship for the lulz.&amp;quot; He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email &amp;amp;mdash; get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic &amp;amp;mdash; and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them &amp;amp;ndash; some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the &amp;quot;Great Director Chandler&amp;quot;, he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris' life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him===&lt;br /&gt;
As of 2012, Chris is a total human trainwreck, slowly losing the last of his sanity while he waits to get thrown in the slammer. While the systematic trolling of him throughout the last few years have something to do with his degrading mental state (especially his extreme paranoia and distrust for everyone except his his mom and pastor), the fact still remains that his life's horrible state is mainly caused by factors outside of the internet. He would still be a lonely outcast as his poor upbringing gave him such warped views of the world and lead him to engage in such bizarre behavior that he drove away every person he tried to connect with. He would still be living in unsanitary living conditions due to Barb's hoarding and the fact that his house has not been cleaned in the better part of a decade. He would still be banned from all of his favorite hangouts due to his loitering and hostile behavior to other patrons. Also, at the core of it all is how Chris decided that he would be better off living off government handouts while drawing unpublishable comic books in his room instead of getting a job and heading down a career path, which would have been his one-way ticket to escaping the cesspool that is [[14 Branchland Court]] and living a fulfilling life, not unlike that of [[Cole Smithey|his half brother]]. Instead, he decided to remain dependent on his elderly, emotionally disturbed parents; look at how well that worked out for him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Examples==&lt;br /&gt;
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===White Knights on YouTube===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and [[PandaHalo]]. Also, she released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the original curator of the [[CWCville Library]], Arjen Van Dierten.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS'''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
====TV Tropes====&lt;br /&gt;
[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do [[28 October 2011|gets you thrown in prison]] or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Unfortunately, the editor in question and fails to realize that [[Chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]] The message was later removed due to a shift in policy regarding the article.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Conclusion==&lt;br /&gt;
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal human alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three aforementioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See Also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Champthom/Alogging|Alogging]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[White knight emails]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External links==&lt;br /&gt;
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:People]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Trolling]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=White_knight&amp;diff=161125</id>
		<title>White knight</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=White_knight&amp;diff=161125"/>
		<updated>2012-06-24T04:18:28Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Reasons against white knighting */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|CWC Music Video ~ &amp;quot;Holding Out For a Hero&amp;quot;]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the Internet to help or defend someone else on the Internet against other people on the Internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Motives==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Pity===&lt;br /&gt;
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Empathy===&lt;br /&gt;
The Internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BAAAAAAAW! ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' is a cruel game. Quit it!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===&lt;br /&gt;
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that he suffers from serious mental deficiencies of some kind.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg &amp;quot;...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like...&amp;quot;]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since he probably hasn't &amp;quot;updated&amp;quot; his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris cannot &amp;quot;read between the lines&amp;quot; or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;Anecdote by [[Mimms]].&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably many more have helped give us the man-child we know today.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===&lt;br /&gt;
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===For the sake of Barbara's sanity===&lt;br /&gt;
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that [[Snorlax]] should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Reasons against white knighting==&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't==&lt;br /&gt;
Lets face it, all Chris had to do to end the trolling was to just turn off his computer. If he would have done this small step, this whole debacle would have never happened. The trolls had nothing personal against Chris; They just decided he was a worthy target after reading Sonichu and seeing how he spazzed out at his page on Encyclopedia Dramatica. As soon as he would have quit responding to their provocations and quit posting videos of him tard raging on YouTube, the trolls would have just moved on to someone else. Instead, Chris tried to &amp;quot;fight back&amp;quot; against them, in turn revealing more and more information about himself until the trolls knew all of his contact info and all the details of his life. That was when the trolling went past a point of no return, spilling into Chris' personal life so much that there would be absolutely no way for him to ever disassociate himself from it. Even when he was away from the computer, he found himself subjected to trolling by them calling his cell phone, sending him mail and them following him around in public. While the obsessive trolling of Chris was nothing less than shitty, the fact still remains that Chris was the one who allowed them to have such control over his life thanks to him always overreacting to every little provocation and him handing over all his personal information to him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris lacks empathy himself===&lt;br /&gt;
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''&lt;br /&gt;
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no &amp;quot;theory of mind&amp;quot;: if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
:&amp;lt;font color=&amp;quot;#009900&amp;quot;&amp;gt;'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;&amp;lt;/font&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
:&amp;lt;font color=&amp;quot;#4682B4&amp;quot;&amp;gt;'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.&amp;lt;/font&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were &amp;quot;I'd feel terrible&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;I'd just cry.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to deal with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides themselves might not exactly find this amusing.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s &amp;quot;Common Questions&amp;quot;, Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of &amp;quot;two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with,&amp;quot; [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as &amp;quot;weak as the Twin Towers&amp;quot; and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Twin Falling Towers]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was &amp;quot;pitiful&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris-Chan. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vivian's AIM chat]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a chauvinist have nothing to do with his autism.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris is beyond pity===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. &amp;quot;[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]&amp;quot;... &amp;quot;[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n&amp;amp;mdash;!]]&amp;quot;]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, &amp;quot;provocation&amp;quot; in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|''nasty'']] [[Death threats|things]]. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids]] during card games and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the Internet, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground-Up]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Megan Saga&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, &amp;quot;I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Megan Saga&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, [[Chris and his ego|''him'']]. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|&amp;quot;SonichuIzCool&amp;quot;]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''is'') probably the only genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her &amp;quot;naïve and [[slow in the mind]].&amp;quot; He told her she had to &amp;quot;come out where [he] can meet [her].&amp;quot; Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the terrorist attacks of the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]] on 9/11. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], encouraged him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris is under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Mike Jr. is now married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grief and anger with three words: [[Chris and remorse|&amp;quot;I am sorry.&amp;quot;]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris cares only for himself===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]]. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris is not a good net citizen===&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}&lt;br /&gt;
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his &amp;quot;fans&amp;quot;. He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block&amp;lt;!--see talk page--&amp;gt; him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like &amp;quot;webhost's house, webhost's rules,&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;beggars can't be choosers,&amp;quot; but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris will reject your advice===&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]&lt;br /&gt;
Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being [[Obesity|overweight]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: &amp;quot;i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try.&amp;quot; Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire videogame development company, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. [[February_2012|Twice.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===&lt;br /&gt;
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. He even bounced back after being [[Mumble 9|verbally abused by a room of trolls]], one of whom told him to go kill himself. So what's the problem?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris made himself an outcast===&lt;br /&gt;
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===[[Stress]]===&lt;br /&gt;
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crash into slumber]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris will not even read your message===&lt;br /&gt;
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===The trolling will not cease===&lt;br /&gt;
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his &amp;quot;attraction methods&amp;quot; and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant man-children flouting its rules.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the Internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the Internet, that's Chris trolling himself.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract real life trolls at the mental hospital. If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to [[28 October 2011|circumstances that cannot be foreseen]], he will be trolled there as well.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly-kicked autistic]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===&lt;br /&gt;
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube Guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube Guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His Internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
One could argue that if Chris eventually &amp;quot;retired&amp;quot; from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, fat, virgin bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an Internet-famous unemployable, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris treats &amp;quot;fans&amp;quot; and white knights like crap===&lt;br /&gt;
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams &amp;quot;I'M STRAIGHT!&amp;quot; when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current &amp;quot;girlfriend&amp;quot; is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to &amp;quot;break up the relationship for the lulz.&amp;quot; He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email &amp;amp;mdash; get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic &amp;amp;mdash; and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them &amp;amp;ndash; some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the &amp;quot;Great Director Chandler&amp;quot;, he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris' life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him===&lt;br /&gt;
As of 2012, Chris is a total human trainwreck, slowly losing the last of his sanity while he waits to get thrown in the slammer. While the systematic trolling of him throughout the last few years have something to do with his degrading mental state (especially his extreme paranoia and distrust for everyone except his his mom and pastor), the fact still remains that his life's horrible state is mainly caused by factors outside of the internet. He would still be a lonely outcast as his poor upbringing gave him such warped views of the world and lead him to engage in such bizarre behavior that he drove away every person he tried to connect with. He would still be living in unsanitary living conditions due to Barb's hoarding and the fact that his house has not been cleaned in the better part of a decade. He would still be banned from all of his favorite hangouts due to his loitering and hostile behavior to other patrons. Also, at the core of it all is how Chris decided that he would be better off living off government handouts while drawing unpublishable comic books in his room instead of getting a job and heading down a career path, which would have been his one-way ticket to escaping the cesspool that is [[14 Branchland Court]] and living a fulfilling life, not unlike that of [[Cole Smithey|his half brother]]. Instead, he decided to remain dependent on his elderly, emotionally disturbed parents; look at how well that worked out for him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Examples==&lt;br /&gt;
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===White Knights on YouTube===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and [[PandaHalo]]. Also, she released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the original curator of the [[CWCville Library]], Arjen Van Dierten.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS'''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
====TV Tropes====&lt;br /&gt;
[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do [[28 October 2011|gets you thrown in prison]] or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Unfortunately, the editor in question and fails to realize that [[Chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]] The message was later removed due to a shift in policy regarding the article.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Conclusion==&lt;br /&gt;
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal human alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three aforementioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See Also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Champthom/Alogging|Alogging]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[White knight emails]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External links==&lt;br /&gt;
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:People]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Trolling]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_in_the_media&amp;diff=160938</id>
		<title>Chris in the media</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_in_the_media&amp;diff=160938"/>
		<updated>2012-06-10T17:32:38Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Atop the Fourth Wall */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;[[Image:The truth about cwc.jpg|thumb|right|Just you wait..]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chris]], being an attention whore of sorts, has frequently managed to find himself in the '''media''' spotlight. Television, newspapers, magazines and, of course, the internet - if Chris can find some way to get his 15 minutes of fame, he'll do it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Traditional Media==&lt;br /&gt;
===''Richmond Times-Dispatch''===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{main|IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In 1993, the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' newspaper ran an article detailing how Chris changed his name from &amp;quot;Christopher&amp;quot; to &amp;quot;Christian&amp;quot;. This was Chris's first known appearance in the media.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Sonic The Hedgehog Watch And Win Sweepstakes===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch &amp;amp; Win Sweepstakes}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's second appearance in the media was a news report in [[1994]] chronicling Chris's first victory, winning a contest celebrating one of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoons.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Chris Chan in the PokéNews===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{main|Chris Chan in the PokéNews}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In [[1999]], Chris made his third appearance in a news report on the growing success of the Pokémon Trading Card Game. He was 17 at the time, and he was playing Pokémon cards with [[Pedofork|kids as young as eight]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===''Nintendo Power'' Magazine===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{main|Nintendo Power Magazine}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Twice, Chris has used the magazine ''Nintendo Power'' to get himself attention. First was a letter Chris wrote telling Nintendo how he used a [[Sprung|video game]] to cure his [[Noviophobia|fear of talking to girls]]. The second time detailed Chris's Animal Crossing video, though there he was known as [[Sonichu]], not Chris.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Shoujo Beat===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{main|Shoujo Beat}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris sent a letter to an anime-themed magazine that got published in its November [[2005]] issue. In it, he complains about [[JERKS]] taking away all the pretty [[boyfriend-free girl]]s and leaving him to be a [[Virgin With Rage|lonely virgin]]. A response was published in the March [[2006]] issue, in which the writer instructs Chris on the error of his ways.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
=== WBCN Toucher and Rich ===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{main|Toucher and Rich Segment}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 12 [[May 2009]] Chris's antics became so famous that it sparked the interest of a radio podcast in Boston. The whole media furor was sparked by the [[I Got A Fish]] video. However, most of the show covered Chris's videos addressed to [[Ivy]].&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&amp;amp;audioId=3705145]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
=== KROQ ''The Kevin and Bean Show''===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{main|The Kevin and Bean Show Segment}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
One of Chris's [[Captain's Log]]s is dissected by the hosts Kevin and Bean. Notably, the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video in question]] required ''a full two minutes'' dedicated to disclaimers, as well as censoring of [[Semen#Recycling|certain]] [[Honest content|unairable]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|acts]] .&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
=== ''Web Soup'' ===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{main|For G4s Web Soup}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Once again, Chris's I Got A Fish video was briefly featured, this time on [[Wikipedia:G4 (TV channel)|G4]]'s ''[[Wikipedia:Web Soup|Web Soup]]'' on 2 [[July 2009]]. While the segment lasted less than 30 seconds, Chris initially felt honored and used the opportunity to try to score some [[china]]. Days later, Chris realizes that ''Web Soup'' is a show devoted to making fun of [[Slow-in-the-minds|stupid people]] on the internet like himself.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
=== ''Slylock Fox'' ===&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:SonichuSlylockFox25Sep2011.JPG|thumb|115px|&amp;quot;Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9&amp;quot;]]&lt;br /&gt;
On 25 September 2011, ''Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids'', a comic strip strip published by King Features Syndicate, featured a black-and-white image&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://content.comicskingdom.net/Slylock/Slylock.20110925.gif]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; of [[Sonichu]] in the &amp;quot;Your Drawing&amp;quot; panel. The illustration, which ran in thousands of papers nationwide, was accompanied by text, which read: &amp;quot;Today's terrific artist is Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9.&amp;quot; It is unknown if Chris submitted it himself or if this is the work of [[trolls]]. The strip's author, Bob Weber Jr., admitted on the Comics Curmudgeon blog&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://joshreads.com/?p=10951#comment-1014594]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; that he fully believed that the &amp;quot;artist&amp;quot; was nine years old (rather than twenty-nine) when he selected the drawing out of the dozens that are submitted to the strip every week.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
=== ''The Opie &amp;amp; Anthony Show'' ===&lt;br /&gt;
''The Opie &amp;amp; Anthony Show'' on Sirius XM satellite radio which is broadcasted to 18.5 million units did a commentary segment on Christian's video response to drinking his own cum and shitting his adult diapers.  It is unknown whether the man child has realized that his autistic antics have technically been broadcasted to low earth orbit.&lt;br /&gt;
{{Infobox/video&lt;br /&gt;
|name= Opie and Anthony: Chris Chan&lt;br /&gt;
|video= {{#ev:youtube|gLYvMLHZfFo}}&lt;br /&gt;
}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Major Internet media==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Fark.com===&lt;br /&gt;
The world-renown Internet portal [[Wikipedia:Fark|Fark]] to [[ECV 00095]] on 5 [[May 2009]].&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.fark.com/cgi/vidplayer.pl?IDLink=4369161|Fark linked]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|You don't need to search any longer, the [[The Creepy Stare|creepiest]] person on the internet has been found|A Farker}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Heavy.com===&lt;br /&gt;
Chris tops the site's list of the 20 Worst Internet Losers, posted 13 [[July 2010]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|There could be no other choice to close out this list. [[Christian Weston Chandler]], aka Chris-Chan, is like every horrible thing about the Internet made flesh. [[14 Branchland Court|Lives]] with his [[Bob Chandler|par]][[Barbara Chandler|ents]], sponges off the [[monthly tugboat|government]] and uses the cash for [[PS3|PlayStation 3]] games and [[sex toys]], walks around the [[Fashion Square Mall|mall]] with his Game Boy [[love quest|looking for girlfriends]], posts incoherent YouTube videos of himself [[For Julie's Eyes Only|humping an anime bodypillow]] and yelling “Oh, [[Julie]],” the list will go on forever. C.W.C. is the ''ne plus ultra'' of Web losers.|Heavy.com, [http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/the-20-worst-internet-losers/4/ 20 Worst Internet Losers]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Harry Partridge===&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:HappyHarryRosechu.jpg|thumb|125px|&amp;quot;Actually, it is excellent; I would not change a thing about it.&amp;quot; -Chris, [[Mailbag 9]]]]&lt;br /&gt;
Animator Harry Partridge (best known for his [[parody|slanderous mockery]] [[Wikipedia:Saturday Morning Watchmen|Saturday Morning ''Watchmen'']]) has made several references to Chris and Sonichu, the first of which being a drawing of [[Rosechu]] uploaded to Newgrounds.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/happyharry/rosechu ]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; An animated version of Chris appears briefly in the animated cartoon short &amp;quot;A Nicolas Cage Wants Cake&amp;quot;,  a musical remix of a scene from ''[[Family Guy|The Family Man]]''.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesa]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the animated short &amp;quot;Skyrim&amp;quot;, [[Son-Chu]]'s &amp;quot;SONICHU&amp;quot; license plate can be seen in the background during the first scene.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9eGtyqz4gY]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the Followup, &amp;quot;Song of Skyrim&amp;quot;, Chris makes a brief cameo in the crowd scene.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When interviewing Harry Partridge on Animation Aficionados, the hosts asked Harry about Chris's cameos in some of his videos (from 0:19:43). The discussion the hosts have with Harry about Chris is quite lengthy, during which Mr. Partridge admits that he is &amp;quot;obsessed with him&amp;quot;:&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://animationaficionados.com/2011/08/23/episode-35-harry-partridge/]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|1=I really am obsessed with him... I check [[CWCki|''Sonichu.com'']], the wiki about Chris-chan and his weird life, if not daily, every couple of hours... there must be more written about Chris-chan than George Washington. |2=Harry Partridge|3=}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Atop the Fourth Wall===&lt;br /&gt;
Comic reviewer Linkara goes on a brief tirade in his video &amp;quot;Top 15 Things I Will Never Review&amp;quot; about [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] on the subject of webcomics at the 24 minute mark.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Infobox/video&lt;br /&gt;
|name= Linkara Discusses Sonichu &amp;amp; Chris-Chan&lt;br /&gt;
|video= {{#ev:youtube|mDfRk0qt5HQ}}&lt;br /&gt;
}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|&amp;quot;But wait,&amp;quot; the internet cried back, &amp;quot;let me tell you about the horror that is... Sonichu!&amp;quot; Yes people, I have heard of Sonichu. I really wish I hadn't heard of Sonichu. I would be a much happier man if I hadn't.|Linkara, speaking for everyone who has ever read Sonichu.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Linkara didn't want to review ''Sonichu'' because he didn't want to bring any more attention to it, seemingly being aware that Chris takes pride in any attention being brought to himself and Sonichu, no matter how negative it is. At the end of the video, he uses Weird Al's &amp;quot;Do I Creep You Out&amp;quot; as the credits music, a possible jab at Chris.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===RayWilliamJohnson===&lt;br /&gt;
In one episode of ''=3'' (pronounced &amp;quot;equals three&amp;quot;), vlogger Ray William Johnson made fun of Chris's habit of drinking his cum. Though he never gave Chris's name, (referring to him inaccurately as &amp;quot;your average ''[[Captain's Log|Star Trek]]'' nerd) he did provide a link to Chris's old channel.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Something Awful===&lt;br /&gt;
The last episode of Something Awful's “Webcam Ward” is a commentary on [[ECV 00002]].&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/sonic-the-hog.php]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Also, the first episode of The Flash Tub's &amp;quot;Gaming Guyz&amp;quot;, while not mentioning Chris outright, directly references his [[Medallion]], and how [[Sonic]] cured his [[Autism]] in Part 12.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/gaming-guys-cartoon.php]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===SpliceToday.com===&lt;br /&gt;
An article&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.splicetoday.com/digital/come-back-christian-weston-chandler]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; posted on 6 January, 2011 on this multimedia blog decried Chris's latest exile from the Internet. It sums up Chris's history and behavior while sharing a personal account of the author taking steps to improve his life in order to distance himself from the similarities he saw between Chris and himself.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|It’s a little sad, and a little beautiful, and somewhere out there, Christian Weston Chandler is heating up his [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|Hungry Man]] lunch in a supermarket microwave (because his kitchen microwave has been buried under old Christmas decorations) and playing his [[Nintendo]] DS, and maybe ogling a salesgirl from across the produce section before he approaches her awkwardly and uses a pickup line that he misread from the Internet, and I wish I could continue to see it all.|SpliceToday.com, Come Back, Christian Weston Chandler}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Nicole Richie's twitter===&lt;br /&gt;
On 5 [[December 2009]] American socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Richie|Nicole Richie]] posted on [[Wikipedia:Twitter|Twitter]]&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://twitpic.com/s7pfi]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; an image of Chris in his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s underwear and humorously presented it as a picture of [[wikipedia:Benji Madden|Benji Madden]], brother of her then boyfriend (now husband) [[Wikipedia:Joel Madden|Joel Madden]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Sega Acknowledges Sonichu===&lt;br /&gt;
On 13 [[January 2012]], [[Sega]] of America made a brief reference to Sonichu in one of their &amp;quot;Free Stuff Friday&amp;quot; videos when talking about a Super [[Sonic]] plush they were giving away.  While this is not [[TRUE and HONEST]] [[Sonichu]] [[Jimmy Hill|merchandise]], it shows that several Sega employees are aware of Sonichu's existence. Jump to 3:50 in the linked video.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cnoq4-Mhpgc&amp;amp;feature=plcp&amp;amp;context=C3339408UDOEgsToPDskLt-QBTt2G-JGOVz5W_wy4Z]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
{{Infobox/video&lt;br /&gt;
|name= SEGA's Free Stuff Friday - January 13, 2012&lt;br /&gt;
|video= {{#ev:youtube|Cnoq4-Mhpgc&amp;amp;feature=plcp&amp;amp;context=C3339408UDOEgsToPDskLt-QBTt2G-JGOVz5W_wy4Z}}&lt;br /&gt;
}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==References==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=George_W._Bush&amp;diff=158376</id>
		<title>George W. Bush</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=George_W._Bush&amp;diff=158376"/>
		<updated>2012-03-25T02:44:46Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{quote|There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — You can't get fooled again. |George W. Bush}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|HE UPLOADED the pics I SENT to him onto the ED page. It was NOT MY FAULT, because he FOOLED ME ONCE, Shame on HIM.|Christian W. Chandler&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Chris_E-mails_2008#September]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:President-george-w-bush.jpg|thumb|250px|Dubya warning of the new &amp;quot;Axis of Evil&amp;quot;, consisting of Mary Lee Walsh, Jerkops, trolls and boyfriends.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''George W. Bush''' served as the 43rd President of the [[United States]] from 2001 to 2009. He also appears to be [[JERKS#The_list_of_males_Chris_doesn.27t_hate|one of the few men on Earth Chris respects.]] Though Bush was President at the time Chris wrote that list, it is unclear if Chris means that he likes Bush personally, or just whoever happens to hold of the office at any given time. Bush's likeness was invoked multiple times by Chris during his Presidency. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Role in the PVCC Crisis of [[2004]]== &lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I got SUSPENDED FROM [[PVCC]] by the Board, and I have that Meddling XXXXX to thank for this as well. I am [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|SUPER ANGRY]]! &amp;gt;8( My [[Bob Chandler|Dad]] is blood-thirsty for revenge as well. He’s going to write to US PRESIDENT, George W. Bush Jr., and Laura Bush, to help me get allowed back to PVCC. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|WE ALL CURSE DEATH]] upon that XXXXX, [[Mary Lee Walsh]]!|Christian's blog, September 16, 2004}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Surprisingly, President Bush did not intervene on behalf of the Chandlers.  The ramifications of this inaction are sure to be debated by Presidential historians for centuries to come.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Appearance in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==&lt;br /&gt;
Despite Bush's refusal to help the Chandlers in 2004, Chris would honor him in [[2008]] by featuring him in the final issue of ''Sonichu'' produced before he left office. In it, Bush is seen tipping over a ladder being used by his eventual successor [[Barack Obama]] as he attempts to paint the White House black. Later in a Mumble chat, Chris stated that he believed that it was not a joke, but a legitimate theory that Obama might actually do such a thing.{{cite}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Superfluous use of &amp;quot;Jr.&amp;quot;==&lt;br /&gt;
Like many other [[English]] mistakes he has made, Chris consistently calls him George W. Bush Jr. The Jr. is not needed, because the lone middle initial distinguishes him from his father [[Wikipedia:George H.W. Bush|George H.W. Bush]]. This may just be a cultural thing, however, as Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] also calls him George Bush Jr.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.colesmithey.com/reviews/2010/03/green-zone.html]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==ED edit==&lt;br /&gt;
In an ED edit, Chris invoked President Bush in order to fight the slanderous [[trolls]] at [[ED]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|Dahlings, by order of of President George Bush Junior, there shall be no naughty, grotesque posts of this dahling US citizen.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Any new posts, or deletion of this official message shall be found punishable to the fullest extent of American Law.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From the Secreterial Desk of the White House,&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The President, George Bush |Chris, pretending to be George Bush&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;s&amp;gt;http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&amp;amp;diff=1997405266&amp;amp;oldid=1997404425&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Obviously, this had the complete opposite effect of what he had intended.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Barack Obama]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Bob Chandler]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Not_Jerks}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=George_W._Bush&amp;diff=158375</id>
		<title>George W. Bush</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=George_W._Bush&amp;diff=158375"/>
		<updated>2012-03-25T02:41:38Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{quote|There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — You can't get fooled again. |George W. Bush}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|HE UPLOADED the pics I SENT to him onto the ED page. It was NOT MY FAULT, because he FOOLED ME ONCE, Shame on HIM.|Christian W. Chandler&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Chris_E-mails_2008#September]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:President-george-w-bush.jpg|thumb|250px|]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''George W. Bush''' served as the 43rd President of the [[United States]] from 2001 to 2009. He also appears to be [[JERKS#The_list_of_males_Chris_doesn.27t_hate|one of the few men on Earth Chris respects.]] Though Bush was President at the time Chris wrote that list, it is unclear if Chris means that he likes Bush personally, or just whoever happens to hold of the office at any given time. Bush's likeness was invoked multiple times by Chris during his Presidency. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Role in the PVCC Crisis of [[2004]]== &lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I got SUSPENDED FROM [[PVCC]] by the Board, and I have that Meddling XXXXX to thank for this as well. I am [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|SUPER ANGRY]]! &amp;gt;8( My [[Bob Chandler|Dad]] is blood-thirsty for revenge as well. He’s going to write to US PRESIDENT, George W. Bush Jr., and Laura Bush, to help me get allowed back to PVCC. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|WE ALL CURSE DEATH]] upon that XXXXX, [[Mary Lee Walsh]]!|Christian's blog, September 16, 2004}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Surprisingly, President Bush did not intervene on behalf of the Chandlers.  The ramifications of this inaction are sure to be debated by Presidential historians for centuries to come.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Appearance in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==&lt;br /&gt;
Despite Bush's refusal to help the Chandlers in 2004, Chris would honor him in [[2008]] by featuring him in the final issue of ''Sonichu'' produced before he left office. In it, Bush is seen tipping over a ladder being used by his eventual successor [[Barack Obama]] as he attempts to paint the White House black. Later in a Mumble chat, Chris stated that he believed that it was not a joke, but a legitimate theory that Obama might actually do such a thing.{{cite}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Superfluous use of &amp;quot;Jr.&amp;quot;==&lt;br /&gt;
Like many other [[English]] mistakes he has made, Chris consistently calls him George W. Bush Jr. The Jr. is not needed, because the lone middle initial distinguishes him from his father [[Wikipedia:George H.W. Bush|George H.W. Bush]]. This may just be a cultural thing, however, as Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] also calls him George Bush Jr.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.colesmithey.com/reviews/2010/03/green-zone.html]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==ED edit==&lt;br /&gt;
In an ED edit, Chris invoked President Bush in order to fight the slanderous [[trolls]] at [[ED]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|Dahlings, by order of of President George Bush Junior, there shall be no naughty, grotesque posts of this dahling US citizen.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Any new posts, or deletion of this official message shall be found punishable to the fullest extent of American Law.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From the Secreterial Desk of the White House,&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The President, George Bush |Chris, pretending to be George Bush&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;s&amp;gt;http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&amp;amp;diff=1997405266&amp;amp;oldid=1997404425&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Obviously, this had the complete opposite effect of what he had intended.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Barack Obama]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Bob Chandler]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Not_Jerks}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=George_W._Bush&amp;diff=158374</id>
		<title>George W. Bush</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=George_W._Bush&amp;diff=158374"/>
		<updated>2012-03-25T02:40:40Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{quote|There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — You can't get fooled again. |George W. Bush}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|HE UPLOADED the pics I SENT to him onto the ED page. It was NOT MY FAULT, because he FOOLED ME ONCE, Shame on HIM.|Christian W. Chandler&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Chris_E-mails_2008#September]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:President-george-w-bush.jpg|thumb|250px|]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''George W. Bush''' was the 43rd President of the [[United States]]. He also appears to be [[JERKS#The_list_of_males_Chris_doesn.27t_hate|one of the few men on Earth Chris respects.]] Though Bush was President at the time Chris wrote that list, it is unclear if Chris means that he likes Bush personally, or just whoever happens to hold of the office at any given time. Bush's likeness was invoked multiple times by Chris during his Presidency. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Role in the PVCC Crisis of [[2004]]== &lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I got SUSPENDED FROM [[PVCC]] by the Board, and I have that Meddling XXXXX to thank for this as well. I am [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|SUPER ANGRY]]! &amp;gt;8( My [[Bob Chandler|Dad]] is blood-thirsty for revenge as well. He’s going to write to US PRESIDENT, George W. Bush Jr., and Laura Bush, to help me get allowed back to PVCC. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|WE ALL CURSE DEATH]] upon that XXXXX, [[Mary Lee Walsh]]!|Christian's blog, September 16, 2004}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Surprisingly, President Bush did not intervene on behalf of the Chandlers.  The ramifications of this inaction are sure to be debated by Presidential historians for centuries to come.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Appearance in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==&lt;br /&gt;
Despite Bush's refusal to help the Chandlers in 2004, Chris would honor him in [[2008]] by featuring him in the final issue of ''Sonichu'' produced before he left office. In it, Bush is seen tipping over a ladder being used by his eventual successor [[Barack Obama]] as he attempts to paint the White House black. Later in a Mumble chat, Chris stated that he believed that it was not a joke, but a legitimate theory that Obama might actually do such a thing.{{cite}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Superfluous use of &amp;quot;Jr.&amp;quot;==&lt;br /&gt;
Like many other [[English]] mistakes he has made, Chris consistently calls him George W. Bush Jr. The Jr. is not needed, because the lone middle initial distinguishes him from his father [[Wikipedia:George H.W. Bush|George H.W. Bush]]. This may just be a cultural thing, however, as Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] also calls him George Bush Jr.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.colesmithey.com/reviews/2010/03/green-zone.html]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==ED edit==&lt;br /&gt;
In an ED edit, Chris invoked President Bush in order to fight the slanderous [[trolls]] at [[ED]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|Dahlings, by order of of President George Bush Junior, there shall be no naughty, grotesque posts of this dahling US citizen.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Any new posts, or deletion of this official message shall be found punishable to the fullest extent of American Law.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From the Secreterial Desk of the White House,&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The President, George Bush |Chris, pretending to be George Bush&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;s&amp;gt;http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&amp;amp;diff=1997405266&amp;amp;oldid=1997404425&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Obviously, this had the complete opposite effect of what he had intended.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Barack Obama]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Bob Chandler]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Not_Jerks}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=George_W._Bush&amp;diff=158373</id>
		<title>George W. Bush</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=George_W._Bush&amp;diff=158373"/>
		<updated>2012-03-25T02:37:11Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{quote|There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — You can't get fooled again. |George W. Bush}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|HE UPLOADED the pics I SENT to him onto the ED page. It was NOT MY FAULT, because he FOOLED ME ONCE, Shame on HIM.|Christian W. Chandler&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Chris_E-mails_2008#September]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:President-george-w-bush.jpg|thumb]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''George W. Bush''' was the 43rd President of the [[United States]]. He also appears to be [[JERKS#The_list_of_males_Chris_doesn.27t_hate|one of the few men on Earth Chris respects.]] Though Bush was President at the time Chris wrote that list, it is unclear if Chris means that he likes Bush personally, or just whoever happens to hold of the office at any given time. Bush's likeness was invoked multiple times by Chris during his Presidency. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Role in the PVCC Crisis of [[2004]]== &lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I got SUSPENDED FROM [[PVCC]] by the Board, and I have that Meddling XXXXX to thank for this as well. I am [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|SUPER ANGRY]]! &amp;gt;8( My [[Bob Chandler|Dad]] is blood-thirsty for revenge as well. He’s going to write to US PRESIDENT, George W. Bush Jr., and Laura Bush, to help me get allowed back to PVCC. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|WE ALL CURSE DEATH]] upon that XXXXX, [[Mary Lee Walsh]]!|Christian's blog, September 16, 2004}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Surprisingly, President Bush did not intervene on behalf of the Chandlers.  The ramifications of this inaction are sure to be debated by Presidential historians for centuries to come.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Appearance in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==&lt;br /&gt;
Despite Bush's refusal to help the Chandlers in 2004, Chris would honor him in [[2008]] by featuring him in the final issue of ''Sonichu'' produced before he left office. In it, Bush is seen tipping over a ladder being used by his eventual successor [[Barack Obama]] as he attempts to paint the White House black. Later in a Mumble chat, Chris stated that he believed that it was not a joke, but a legitimate theory that Obama might actually do such a thing.{{cite}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Superfluous use of &amp;quot;Jr.&amp;quot;==&lt;br /&gt;
Like many other [[English]] mistakes he has made, Chris consistently calls him George W. Bush Jr. The Jr. is not needed, because the lone middle initial distinguishes him from his father [[Wikipedia:George H.W. Bush|George H.W. Bush]]. This may just be a cultural thing, however, as Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] also calls him George Bush Jr.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.colesmithey.com/reviews/2010/03/green-zone.html]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==ED edit==&lt;br /&gt;
In an ED edit, Chris invoked President Bush in order to fight the slanderous [[trolls]] at [[ED]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|Dahlings, by order of of President George Bush Junior, there shall be no naughty, grotesque posts of this dahling US citizen.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Any new posts, or deletion of this official message shall be found punishable to the fullest extent of American Law.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From the Secreterial Desk of the White House,&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The President, George Bush |Chris, pretending to be George Bush&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;&amp;lt;s&amp;gt;http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&amp;amp;diff=1997405266&amp;amp;oldid=1997404425&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Obviously, this had the complete opposite effect of what he had intended.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Barack Obama]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Bob Chandler]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Not_Jerks}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=File:President-george-w-bush.jpg&amp;diff=158372</id>
		<title>File:President-george-w-bush.jpg</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=File:President-george-w-bush.jpg&amp;diff=158372"/>
		<updated>2012-03-25T02:34:18Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Respectable_Frames&amp;diff=158371</id>
		<title>Respectable Frames</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Respectable_Frames&amp;diff=158371"/>
		<updated>2012-03-25T02:27:36Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Glasses */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;{{#ev:youtube|1Sed9mjXEko}}&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|My frames are good; [[Chris and Fashion|they look good to me]], and they are the best fit for my lenses anyway.|Chris, [[Mailbag 14#The pedoglasses stay|on his choice in eyewear]].}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:069-SchuGlasses.jpg|thumb|Right|Sonichu on his pedo-glasses - &amp;quot;I think I've picked the wrong frames.&amp;quot; Yes, yes you have.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The '''[[Pedo]]-Glasses''', also known as the '''[[Rapist]] Glasses''', are the colloquial names for [[Chris]]'s spectacles, the appearance of which have been described variously as recalling some form of [[sex]]ual deviant, usually along the lines of a [[pedofork]]. He began wearing them on 2 February 1998.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC's Diary]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In late [[October 2010]], Chris broke his glasses and repaired them with Crayola Model Magic.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[WeighIn]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Glasses== &lt;br /&gt;
[[File:BigBushtime.jpg|thumb|left|[[Wikipedia:George H. W. Bush|George H. W. Bush]] called; he wants his glasses back.]]&lt;br /&gt;
They are double-bridged (to reduce damage induced by fits of [[tard rage]]) and somewhat oversized, their roundness emphasizing Chris's pudgy face and generally rotund form. The earpieces are connected by a string attachment that nobody else under the age of sixty would use. Regardless, Chris has defended his choice of eyewear with the truism that [[Madman Rising|&amp;quot;it helps me see better&amp;quot;]], although they remained conspicuously absent from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] for some time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Often these type of frames and lenses are among the few pairs available by default to a patient at little to no cost if they want to utilize their [[monthly tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance]] on vision benefits. Of course, many tend to spend some extra cash on a much better pair of frames, but Chris has better things [[Chris and money|to buy]].&lt;br /&gt;
{{clear}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dramatic glasses removal==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has been known to emphatically remove his glasses from his face for dramatic effect in his videos, often putting them on just so he can tear them off again, like the manchild version of David Caruso. (For a useful example in context, see his video from [[100 2188|27 May 2010]], where he removes his glasses, puts them back on, and removes them again within the space of less than thirty seconds.)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In various videos Chris also appears to take his glasses off and throw them to the floor. This was particularly common during his feud with [[Liquid Chris]], when the dispute over his identity had him especially wound up — see [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|here]] and [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|here]] for examples. In a [[WeighIn|couple of]] [[FullHouse|videos]] posted in October 2010, it appears Chris has wrapped tape over the bridge of his glasses, showing that all those dramatic removals have finally taken their toll on Chris's frames. The tape was later replaced by a more permanent solution in form of a nose-piece, crafted in crayola model magic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
How exactly his frames broke in the first place is unknown. [[The_MovingForward_videos|The MovingForward Videos]] show that Chris sometimes stores his glasses in his back pocket, though, so it's not entirely unlikely that he simply forgot they were there and [[Obesity|sat on them]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;{{#ev:youtube|p9nkN1AHKD0}}&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:043-CWCsFavHitsIn.jpg|Early appearance&lt;br /&gt;
File:485-CWCsF.JPG|The Pedo-Glasses in oil pastels&lt;br /&gt;
File:Cwcregularglasses.JPG|Modern day appearance of the glasses&lt;br /&gt;
File:Cwctapedglasses.JPG|Taped glasses after suffering some [[Chris and anger|abuse]]&lt;br /&gt;
File:Cwcmagicglasses.JPG|Chris fashioned a new bridge from Crayola fuckin' Model Magic&lt;br /&gt;
File:TG15.jpg|in the [[tomgirl|Tomgirl Pictures]] Chris is seen with a new set of glasses.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
{{Mannerisms}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Relics of Fail}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Cole_Smithey&amp;diff=157999</id>
		<title>Cole Smithey</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Cole_Smithey&amp;diff=157999"/>
		<updated>2012-03-07T00:23:11Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{| class=&amp;quot;infobox&amp;quot; style=&amp;quot;width: 21em; font-size: 90%;&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
! colspan=&amp;quot;2&amp;quot; | Chandler Family&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| colspan=&amp;quot;2&amp;quot; | [[Image:Colesmithey.jpg|200px]]&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
! colspan=&amp;quot;2&amp;quot; |Cole Smithey&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Birth Name'''&lt;br /&gt;
| Joseph Cole Smithey&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''D.O.B.'''&lt;br /&gt;
| 24 July [[Pre-1980#1960s|1963]] (age 48)&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Gender'''&lt;br /&gt;
| Male&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Nationality'''&lt;br /&gt;
| [[United States of America|American]]&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Race'''&lt;br /&gt;
| White&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Parents'''&lt;br /&gt;
| [[Barbara]] (mother)&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;[[Jack Dale Smithey]] (supposed father)&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;[[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (presumed actual father)&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;[[Jerry Harmon]] (supposed stepfather)&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;[[Robert Chandler]] (stepfather)&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Occupation(s)'''&lt;br /&gt;
| Film critic, musician&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole, [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 e-mail #3]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|[[Barbara Chandler]]&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 1]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara's]] first son and the lone escapee of the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole seems to be a pretty normal guy. [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole's e-mails to Chris]] revealed a lot about the Chandler family. Lately, Cole has made an effort to distance himself from Chris, once tweeting that he doesn't want people inquiring to him about Chris's current whereabouts.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
He currently lives in Manhattan and is a noted film critic who is featured on Rotten Tomatoes.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://www.rottentomatoes.com/critic/cole-smithey/&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; He achieved notoriety in Time Magazine for being one of the few critics to give a negative review to Toy Story 3.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/06/19/can-147-critics-be-wrong-meet-the-two-pundits-who-trashed-toy-story-3/&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; He also occasionally hosts [[eBay]] auctions to spend a night drinking with him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Childhood==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|left|Cole's [[true and honest]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook. Notice how he looks EXACTLY like him.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Cole grew up in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Raising&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; As a child, Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his &amp;quot;stepfather&amp;quot; [[Jerry Harmon]] with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and &amp;quot;bizarre scenarios.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Barb insisted that Cole's biological father was [[Jack Dale Smithey]], to whom she claimed she was married to, but records show she wasn't.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cole suspected, and later confirmed, that his biological father was [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]], who would visit him and was introduced as a &amp;quot;friend&amp;quot; of the family when he was a child.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Move to California==&lt;br /&gt;
Cole left Virginia for California, attending San Diego State University from 1981-1984, and earning degrees in Dramatic Art and Music. He also attended Hartnell College and San Francisco City College in similar fields of study.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://www.linkedin.com/pub/cole-smithey/a/125/9aa&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; While at college, he became the drummer for a Poway, California punk rock band called &amp;quot;The Rockin’ Dogs&amp;quot;. The band lasted from 1981-1985.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;The Rockin’ Dogs&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;{{clear}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Bobcomes home copy.jpg|thumb|left|A likely summary for Bob and Cole's relationship.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Cole wasn't on good terms with [[Bob]] and not even with [[Barbara]]. [[Bob]] worked his &amp;quot;bitter influence&amp;quot; on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has &amp;quot;never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In multiple emails to Chris, Cole asks him to let him know when Bob dies, so that he can celebrate.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Barbara continued to lie about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to [[Jack Dale Smithey]], Cole's alleged father, but rather to [[Ran Coleman Yeatts|Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.&lt;br /&gt;
{{clear}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Relationship with Chris==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0468-CWC&amp;amp;JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ironically, Cole actually gets along much better with Chris than with either Bob or Barb (or at least he used to; it's unclear whether the two are still in regular contact), and possibly better than with any of his other direct relatives. Then again, when you don't actually know ''who'' your paternal relatives are, you have to take what you can get.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself. Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]], which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris visited Cole in California at some point, the only time Chris has been on an airplane and one of only two times that he has left [[Virginia]] (the other being his trip to Ohio to save &amp;quot;[[Julie]]&amp;quot;).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an e-mail asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. The timing of this request was probably not a coincidence, as Ran Coleman Yeatts, his presumed father, had died a month beforehand.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/ United States Social Security Death Index]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the ''PaRappa'' contest than his brother's plight, showing just how [[Chris and his Ego|self-absorbed]] he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Cole in the comics===&lt;br /&gt;
Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a &amp;quot;Professor Cole&amp;quot; listed, being the one who gave [[Kel]] the [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] who would become Rosechu. This means that even his half-brother is stuck in [[CWCville]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''&lt;br /&gt;
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:Colesmithyrockingdogs.jpg|Cole playing drums.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External links==&lt;br /&gt;
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]&lt;br /&gt;
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Not_Jerks}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{People}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Family Members]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:People]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Cole_Smithey&amp;diff=157998</id>
		<title>Cole Smithey</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Cole_Smithey&amp;diff=157998"/>
		<updated>2012-03-07T00:11:28Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{| class=&amp;quot;infobox&amp;quot; style=&amp;quot;width: 21em; font-size: 90%;&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
! colspan=&amp;quot;2&amp;quot; | Chandler Family&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| colspan=&amp;quot;2&amp;quot; | [[Image:Colesmithey.jpg|200px]]&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
! colspan=&amp;quot;2&amp;quot; |Cole Smithey&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Birth Name'''&lt;br /&gt;
| Joseph Cole Smithey&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''D.O.B.'''&lt;br /&gt;
| 24 July [[Pre-1980#1960s|1963]] (age 48)&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Gender'''&lt;br /&gt;
| Male&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Nationality'''&lt;br /&gt;
| [[United States of America|American]]&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Race'''&lt;br /&gt;
| White&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Parents'''&lt;br /&gt;
| [[Barbara]] (mother)&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;[[Jack Dale Smithey]] (supposed father)&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;[[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (presumed actual father)&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;[[Jerry Harmon]] (supposed stepfather)&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;[[Robert Chandler]] (stepfather)&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Occupation(s)'''&lt;br /&gt;
| Film critic, musician&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole, [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 e-mail #3]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|[[Barbara Chandler]]&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 1]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara's]] first son and the lone escapee of the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole seems to be a pretty normal guy. [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole's e-mails to Chris]] revealed a lot about the Chandler family. Since Chris became infamous on the internet, Cole has made an effort to distance himself from Chris, even once tweeting that he doesn't want people inquiring to him about Chris's current whereabouts.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
He currently lives in Manhattan and is a noted film critic who is featured on Rotten Tomatoes.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://www.rottentomatoes.com/critic/cole-smithey/&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; He achieved notoriety in Time Magazine for being one of the few critics to give a negative review to Toy Story 3.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/06/19/can-147-critics-be-wrong-meet-the-two-pundits-who-trashed-toy-story-3/&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; He also occasionally hosts [[eBay]] auctions to spend a night drinking with him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Childhood==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|left|Cole's [[true and honest]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook. Notice how he looks EXACTLY like him.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Cole grew up in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Raising&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; As a child, Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his &amp;quot;stepfather&amp;quot; [[Jerry Harmon]] with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and &amp;quot;bizarre scenarios.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Barb insisted that Cole's biological father was [[Jack Dale Smithey]], to whom she claimed she was married to, but records show she wasn't.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cole suspected, and later confirmed, that his biological father was [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]], who would visit him and was introduced as a &amp;quot;friend&amp;quot; of the family when he was a child.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Move to California==&lt;br /&gt;
Cole left Virginia for California, attending San Diego State University from 1981-1984, and earning degrees in Dramatic Art and Music. He also attended Hartnell College and San Francisco City College in similar fields of study.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;http://www.linkedin.com/pub/cole-smithey/a/125/9aa&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; While at college, he became the drummer for a Poway, California punk rock band called &amp;quot;The Rockin’ Dogs&amp;quot;. The band lasted from 1981-1985.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;The Rockin’ Dogs&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;{{clear}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Bobcomes home copy.jpg|thumb|left|A likely summary for Bob and Cole's relationship.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Cole wasn't on good terms with [[Bob]] and not even with [[Barbara]]. [[Bob]] worked his &amp;quot;bitter influence&amp;quot; on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has &amp;quot;never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In multiple emails to Chris, Cole asks him to let him know when Bob dies, so that he can celebrate.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Barbara continued to lie about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to [[Jack Dale Smithey]], Cole's alleged father, but rather to [[Ran Coleman Yeatts|Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.&lt;br /&gt;
{{clear}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Relationship with Chris==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:0468-CWC&amp;amp;JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ironically, Cole actually gets along much better with Chris than with either Bob or Barb (or at least he used to; it's unclear whether the two are still in regular contact), and possibly better than with any of his other direct relatives. Then again, when you don't actually know ''who'' your paternal relatives are, you have to take what you can get.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself. Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]], which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris visited Cole in California at some point, the only time Chris has been on an airplane and one of only two times that he has left [[Virginia]] (the other being his trip to Ohio to save &amp;quot;[[Julie]]&amp;quot;).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an e-mail asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. The timing of this request was probably not a coincidence, as Ran Coleman Yeatts, his presumed father, had died a month beforehand.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/ United States Social Security Death Index]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the ''PaRappa'' contest than his brother's plight, showing just how [[Chris and his Ego|self-absorbed]] he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Cole in the comics===&lt;br /&gt;
Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a &amp;quot;Professor Cole&amp;quot; listed, being the one who gave [[Kel]] the [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] who would become Rosechu. This means that even his half-brother is stuck in [[CWCville]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''&lt;br /&gt;
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:Colesmithyrockingdogs.jpg|Cole playing drums.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==External links==&lt;br /&gt;
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]&lt;br /&gt;
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Not_Jerks}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{People}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Family Members]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:People]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Raspberry_Swirl&amp;diff=157902</id>
		<title>Raspberry Swirl</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Raspberry_Swirl&amp;diff=157902"/>
		<updated>2012-03-04T06:43:38Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;'''Raspberry Swirl''' is the ninth track from ''[[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]'' by [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]. It is a cover of &amp;quot;[[Wikipedia:Raspberry Swirl|Raspberry Swirl]]&amp;quot; by[[Wikipedia:Tori Amos|Tori Amos]]. Chris doing a cover of a Tori Amos song is extremely ironic, as Amos is an [[Women's rights|outspoken feminist]] who has founded a [[Wikipedia:RAINN|organization that helps]] [[Chris and rape|raped and abused women]], is well known for being very [[True and Loyal Fanbase#Chris's contempt for his fans|caring, compassionate and devoted]] to [[True and Loyal Fanbase|her fans]], and has criticized [[Chris and religion|organized religion]] [[Wikipedia:God (Tori Amos song)|in her lyrics]]; She is basically the polar opposite of Chris in every conceivable way. However, since [[Britney Spears]] is the only musician that Chris knows anything about, he likely did not know any of this, and simply covered her song in [[Love quest|yet another ill-fated attempt]] to get some [[Jackie|china]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Amo's reaction to the song is not known. However, since watching [[Wikipedia:American Idol|American Idol]] depresses her to the point of crying&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.eonline.com/news/marc_malkin/tori_amos_why_i_cant_watch_american_idol/125904 Tori Amos: Why I Can't Watch American Idol]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;, it can be reasonably assumed that Chris &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;ruining&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; covering one of her best known songs probably has her contemplating suicide. [[Ivy|Like another redhead we all know]].&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;!-- Add summary of what Chris's lyrics are about, couple of sentences max --&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Audio ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Infobox/video&lt;br /&gt;
| name           = &amp;quot;Raspberry Swirl&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|O4pSdTB2VDg}}&lt;br /&gt;
| stardate       = [[November 2011]]&lt;br /&gt;
| subject        = {{Music|text}}&lt;br /&gt;
| style          = {{Comedy|text}} {{Crazy|text}}&lt;br /&gt;
| saga           = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}&lt;br /&gt;
| shirt          = &lt;br /&gt;
| other          = {{Leaked|text}}&lt;br /&gt;
| previous       = [[It's Raining Men]]&lt;br /&gt;
| next           = [[Johnny are you Queer]]&lt;br /&gt;
}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
=== Lyrics ===&lt;br /&gt;
[''loud microphone movement'']&lt;br /&gt;
I'm not your [[Spanish|señorita]], I am not from your [[Cherokian Clan|tryyybe]].&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Indaagarden I did [[Law|no crime]]!&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
I am not your señorita, I am not from you tryyybe.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
If you want inside her well, boy you better make a raspberry swirl.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Things are getting din-din desperate.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
When all the boys can't be met.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Evve'body knows I'm her friend.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Everybody knows I'm her maaan.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
mm—DESperate.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
When all the boys can't be met.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Everybody knows I'm her friend.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Everybody knows I'm her MAN.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
I am not your señ-orita.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
I don't aim so higgh.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
In my heart I did no crime—aime.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
If you want inside her well, boy you better make a raspberry swirl.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Things are getting desperate&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
…aaate&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
And [[Christian Weston Chandler|boys can't be men]] (?).&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
...getting desperate when all the boys can't be men.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Everybody knows I'm her friend.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Everybody knows I'm her man.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Things are getting desperate.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
when I … ?&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Everybody knows I'm her friend.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Everybody knows everybody knows I'm her man.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
and I…&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Raspberry swirul!&lt;br /&gt;
raca (?) raspberry swirul&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
…swirul&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
…swirul&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
…swirul…raspberry swirul.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{The Tomgirls}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Raspberry_Swirl&amp;diff=157901</id>
		<title>Raspberry Swirl</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Raspberry_Swirl&amp;diff=157901"/>
		<updated>2012-03-04T06:41:33Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;'''Raspberry Swirl''' is the ninth track from ''[[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]'' by [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]. It is a cover of &amp;quot;[[Wikipedia:Raspberry Swirl|Raspberry Swirl]]&amp;quot; by[[Wikipedia:Tori Amos|Tori Amos]]. Chris doing a cover of a Tori Amos song is extremely ironic, as Amos is an [[Women's rights|outspoken feminist]] who has founded a [[Wikipedia:RAINN|organization that helps]][[Chris and rape|raped and abused women]], is well known for being very [[True and Loyal Fanbase#Chris's contempt for his fans|caring, compassionate and devoted]] to [[True and Loyal Fanbase|her fans]], and has criticized [[Chris and religion|organized religion]] [[Wikipedia:God (Tori Amos song)|in her lyrics]]; She is basically the polar opposite of Chris in every conceivable way. However, since [[Britney Spears]] is the only musician who has ever interested Chris, he likely did not know any of this, and simply covered her song in [[Love quest|yet another ill-fated attempt]] to get some [[Jackie|china]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Amo's reaction to the song is not known. However, since watching [[Wikipedia:American Idol|American Idol]] depresses her to the point of crying&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.eonline.com/news/marc_malkin/tori_amos_why_i_cant_watch_american_idol/125904 Tori Amos: Why I Can't Watch American Idol]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;, it can be reasonably assumed that Chris &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;ruining&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; covering one of her best known songs probably has her contemplating suicide. [[Ivy|Like another redhead we all know]].&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;!-- Add summary of what Chris's lyrics are about, couple of sentences max --&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Audio ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Infobox/video&lt;br /&gt;
| name           = &amp;quot;Raspberry Swirl&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|O4pSdTB2VDg}}&lt;br /&gt;
| stardate       = [[November 2011]]&lt;br /&gt;
| subject        = {{Music|text}}&lt;br /&gt;
| style          = {{Comedy|text}} {{Crazy|text}}&lt;br /&gt;
| saga           = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}&lt;br /&gt;
| shirt          = &lt;br /&gt;
| other          = {{Leaked|text}}&lt;br /&gt;
| previous       = [[It's Raining Men]]&lt;br /&gt;
| next           = [[Johnny are you Queer]]&lt;br /&gt;
}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
=== Lyrics ===&lt;br /&gt;
[''loud microphone movement'']&lt;br /&gt;
I'm not your [[Spanish|señorita]], I am not from your [[Cherokian Clan|tryyybe]].&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Indaagarden I did [[Law|no crime]]!&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
I am not your señorita, I am not from you tryyybe.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
If you want inside her well, boy you better make a raspberry swirl.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Things are getting din-din desperate.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
When all the boys can't be met.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Evve'body knows I'm her friend.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Everybody knows I'm her maaan.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
mm—DESperate.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
When all the boys can't be met.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Everybody knows I'm her friend.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Everybody knows I'm her MAN.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
I am not your señ-orita.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
I don't aim so higgh.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
In my heart I did no crime—aime.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
If you want inside her well, boy you better make a raspberry swirl.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Things are getting desperate&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
…aaate&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
And [[Christian Weston Chandler|boys can't be men]] (?).&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
...getting desperate when all the boys can't be men.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Everybody knows I'm her friend.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Everybody knows I'm her man.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Things are getting desperate.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
when I … ?&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Everybody knows I'm her friend.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Everybody knows everybody knows I'm her man.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
and I…&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Raspberry swirul!&lt;br /&gt;
raca (?) raspberry swirul&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
…swirul&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
…swirul&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
…swirul…raspberry swirul.&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{The Tomgirls}}&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Attraction_Location&amp;diff=157830</id>
		<title>Attraction Location</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Attraction_Location&amp;diff=157830"/>
		<updated>2012-03-02T03:47:19Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* In Charlottesville */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Quote|As I sit and [[sigh]],&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Creepy Stare|I watch the girls go by]].&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Afraid of a lame intersecption,&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
I sit out in the open without hesitation.&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Matching Girl descriptions are free,&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
I wish one girl would notice and approach me.&lt;br /&gt;
|Poem by Chris&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Hard Love Quest]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
An '''Attraction Location''',&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Story of My Current Days]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; also called an &amp;quot;Attraction Spot&amp;quot;,&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[CWC's Diary]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; is a [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]] for any place where [[Chris]] sits passively, hoping to attract the attention of [[boyfriend-free girl|single women]]. Along with his [[Attraction Sign]] and [[Axe]] body spray, use of an Attraction Location has been a crucial component of Chris's [[Love Quest]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In practice, the Attraction Locations that Chris chose left him exposed to discovery by [[Mary Lee Walsh|various]] [[Manajerks|authority]] [[Jerkops|figures]], who take umbrage with his methods. He steadfastly refused to abandon his post until he was either [[banned]] or forcibly removed from the premises. Undaunted, he would go on to find new Attraction Locations, only to be banned from them as well. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's interesting to note that the use of these different locations marks some of the few significant milestones in Chris's life between [[2003]] and [[2008]], and even this minor change in his routine was forced upon him. It's entirely possible that if Chris had made less of a ruckus, he might still be sitting in his original Attraction Location to this day, indifferent to the years wasted in his fruitless endeavor.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Attraction Locations==&lt;br /&gt;
=== In [[Charlottesville]]===&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - Until suspension on 16 September [[2004]].&lt;br /&gt;
* [[University of Virginia]] - Until December 2004; briefly returned during [[March 2009]], following [[Julie]] debacle.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] - February 2004 until banned on 29 March 2005, briefly during March 2009, [[May 2009]] until imminent permaban. Despite permaban, Chris is again using the mall as an Attraction location in 2012.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] - Until kicked out on 20 and 22 June 2005.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] - Until arrested and thrown out on 20 July 2005.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[The GAMe PLACe]] - Although not primarily an Attraction Location, Chris met [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] there, and possibly considered it a good place to meet subsequent women, at least until being permabanned on 28 August [[2008]].&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Fridays After Five]] - Used in [[June 2010]], sporting a [[muscle bra]] he'd written on; seemed to attract the attention of a few [[Pedofork|underage girls]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===In [[Ruckersville]]===&lt;br /&gt;
* [[14 Branchland Court]] - Since late [[2008]], Chris has mostly confined his Love Quest to the [[Internet]]. While perhaps not officially an Attraction Location, his basic technique of sitting around waiting for love to find him remains unchanged.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Attraction time==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's time spent at his attraction location would be called his &amp;quot;attraction time&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Story of My Current Days]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; While waiting for a [[boyfriend-free girl]] to approach him, he would do things such as play on his [[Nintendo|DS]], watch videos on his DS, pace back and forth, sing loudly, and so forth. These activities which, obviously, were rather distracting to mall patrons (and not terribly attractive to nubile passersby), would factor into his being [[banned]] from such locations. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Due to his imbalanced [[biological clock]] (typically causing him to crash into slumber at about 6:30 A.M. and wake close to noon) attraction time would generally take place in the mid-to-late afternoon. This time would conveniently (and to the horror of the female patrons of [[Fashion Square]]) provide a higher concentration of potential sweethearts for Chris to harass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Anna McLerran]]'s [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|&amp;quot;The Tale of the Crazy Pacer&amp;quot;]] is the definitive chronicle of Chris spending his attraction time, when he moved from sitting in front of [[Wikipedia:Abercrombie &amp;amp; Fitch|Abercrombie &amp;amp; Fitch]] to [[Wikipedia:Pacific Sunwear|Pac Sun]], where Anna was working at the time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Attraction Sign]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Bagget]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Chris and sex]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Jerkop]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Love Quest]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Manajerks]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Mary Lee Walsh]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sweetheart]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWC-isms}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Places}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Attraction Locations]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:CWC-isms]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Attraction_Sign&amp;diff=157829</id>
		<title>Attraction Sign</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Attraction_Sign&amp;diff=157829"/>
		<updated>2012-03-02T03:43:43Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Return of the Sign */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{quote|The Only Reasonable and Inexpensive Idea he could ever fucking think of|[[CWC]]&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:Comicbook-Sign.png|thumb|An artist's rendition of the sign.]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:FailSign.jpg|thumb|Another artist's impression of how the attraction sign worked.]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chris]] uses an '''Attraction Sign''' during his [[Love Quest]] to get the attention of [[boyfriend-free girl]]s. Surprisingly, the sight of a [[Chris and health|fat, sweaty, smelly manchild]] soliciting with an Attraction Sign actually had the opposite effect on da ladies.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
An early version ran &amp;quot;I am a &amp;quot;X&amp;quot;-Year Old Male, Seeking an 18-&amp;quot;X&amp;quot;-Year Old Single Woman.&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[White knight E-mails]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Signs==&lt;br /&gt;
===The Sign, Mark 1===&lt;br /&gt;
The original sign, created in [[2003]] when Chris first started his [[Love Quest]] at the age of 21, is perhaps the most notable and [[ED|lulzy]] of them all.&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:511-JumboLoveQuestSign.JPG|thumb|The original Attraction Sign]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
:''21 and [[Virgin with rage|Single]] [[Chris and race|White]] [[Jerks|Male]]...''&lt;br /&gt;
:''-Shy -[[Honor roll|Smart]] -[[Pedofork|Young at Heart]] -[[CADD|Computer skilled]]''&lt;br /&gt;
:''-[[Random access humor|Humorous]] -A great [[Things Chris has ripped off|thinker]] and [[Monthly tugboat|go-getter]] -[[Cutco|&amp;quot;Natural salesperson&amp;quot;]] -Enjoys [[China|good parts of life]]''&lt;br /&gt;
:''-[[Death threats|Diplomatic]] -[[White_knight#Chris_made_himself_an_outcast|Friendly]] -Loves [[Cole Smithey|his family]] -[[Chris and anger|Peaceful]] -[[Chris and copyright|Very creative]] -_[[Virgin with rage|He's lonely]]_''&lt;br /&gt;
----&lt;br /&gt;
:''...Seeking a CUTE &amp;lt;sup&amp;gt;♀&amp;lt;/sup&amp;gt;18-21 [[Boyfriend-free girl|SINGLE ♀FEMALE♀ COMPANION]]''&lt;br /&gt;
:''&amp;lt;nowiki&amp;gt;*&amp;lt;/nowiki&amp;gt;18-21 years of age &amp;lt;nowiki&amp;gt;*&amp;lt;/nowiki&amp;gt;does _not_ already have a boyfriend &amp;lt;nowiki&amp;gt;*&amp;lt;/nowiki&amp;gt;Single''&lt;br /&gt;
:''-[[Obesity|Average to Slender Weight/Body Type]] -[[Chris and race|White]] -Lives in [[Charlottesville|Charolettesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] area''&lt;br /&gt;
:''&amp;lt;nowiki&amp;gt;*&amp;lt;/nowiki&amp;gt;[[Tobacky|Does NOT Smoke]] or Drink [[Alcohol]] -Happy, Positive Personality''&lt;br /&gt;
:''&amp;lt;nowiki&amp;gt;*&amp;lt;/nowiki&amp;gt;[[Chris and money|Average/High Income]] -[[Son-Chu|Drives a vehicle]]''&lt;br /&gt;
[image of [[Sonichu]]'s face]&amp;lt;sub&amp;gt;[[Chris and copyright|©]]&amp;lt;/sub&amp;gt; &amp;lt;font color=&amp;quot;red&amp;quot; size=&amp;quot;+3&amp;quot;&amp;gt;➨&amp;lt;/font&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
----&lt;br /&gt;
:''If any ♂MEN♂ read this huge sign...''&lt;br /&gt;
:''[[Homos|MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!]]''&lt;br /&gt;
:''(And to all [[Jerks|MEN with girlfriends]], except marrieds and [[Niggos|blacks]], go jump off a cliff)''&lt;br /&gt;
:''Have a nice day ☺''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris had other ideas beyond signs, but said that ''&amp;quot;[[Sonichu's News Dash!|Newspaper]]/[[Nintendo Power|Magazine]] Ads, [[Facebook|Online]] [[MySpace|Dating Sites]], [[YouTube|Video Dating Services]] to name a few; [[Chris and money|THEY COST MONEY]].&amp;quot;''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==The Sign through the ages==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:108-PlanForAttraction.jpg|Plan B: Use a ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card.|thumb]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
One reason for the multiple signs is that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] kept [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked Out of College|confiscating]] them. Chris waged war by creating [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]] accounts, then printing new signs and spamming them all over campus.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Image:137-NDSAttractop.jpg|Sign from age 22. Based on its shape, it is likely meant to be attached to the cover of a [[Nintendo]] DS.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:135-LoveSearchBookCover.jpg|Cover of a pamphlet on attracting girls. &lt;br /&gt;
Image:133-Sign.jpg|Sign from age 23.&lt;br /&gt;
Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|Miscellaneous paraphernalia used in conjunction with the Attraction Sign.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It is also known that, after the loss of his Sign at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], he resorted to [[Wikipedia:Post-it note|Post-It Notes]] stuck to [[Pedo-Glasses|his glasses]] and walking uncomfortably close to girls. This did not last long either.{{cite}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Hiatus==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris deserted the sign for a brief period.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|During all this, I learned from [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] that the sign made me look [[slow in the mind|retarded]], and eventually, I did away with the sign.|Chris&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;}}&lt;br /&gt;
==Return of the Sign==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In [[June 2010]], Chris wore a shirt saying &amp;quot;I Enjoy Vagina&amp;quot; and exposing [[Muscle bra|his bra]] saying &amp;quot;Want Woman!&amp;quot; over [[Obesity|his flabby gut]], thus showing that he's not even trying anymore.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Fridays After Five]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; While less pleasant and more direct than the Attraction Signs, his reasoning for each seems to be the same: if he just reveals to [[boyfriend-free girls]] what he wants via literal, verbal language, any of them will want to give it to him regardless of how bizarre, off-putting, and out of touch with their wants and needs that revelation is. This lends even further credence to his ridiculous [[Monthly tugboat|sense]] [[GodJesus|of]] [[Chris and his Ego|entitlement]] and that he never understood why the Sign made him look like a retard in the first place and he hasn't grown, matured, or learned anything since he stopped using it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A few weeks later, on 4 [[July 2010]], Chris attempted to attract a woman at a local fireworks celebration by wrapping a note around a small rock and throwing it at her. Combined with the earlier &amp;quot;Want Woman!&amp;quot; tactic, this caused several [[trolls]] to assume Chris was beginning to turn into some sort of caveman.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Later that same week, Chris was spotted and photographed twice at [[Fridays After Five]] again. In both photographs, he is shown to have placed a small piece of paper between his legs. Exactly what he wrote on it is unknown, but it is reasonable to assume that Chris has reverted to the Attraction Sign once more, likely because someone told him that he shouldn't show children his [[sports bra]]. Hilarity can be expected to ensue if this behavior continues.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 16 [[July 2010]], Chris again terrorized the poor women of [[Charlottesville]] at the Fridays After Five gathering, with a new sign that read &amp;quot;[[Homos|Friendly and Flirty Man Zone]]&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Fridays After Five]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; He also employed a portable mini fan and a [[Wikipedia:Hula hoop|hula hoop]], in what [[trolls|experts]] believe is probably a desperate attempt to make himself look fun and cool. '''Spoiler Alert:''' It didn't work.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In a 2012 Facebook status update, Chris mentioned that he plans to wear a sign around his neck that says, &amp;quot;If you like me, tell me!&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Facebook statuses]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Attraction Location]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Red String of Fate]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Relics of Fail}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Love Quest]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=157791</id>
		<title>Son-Chu</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=157791"/>
		<updated>2012-02-29T14:55:04Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Current Status */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{taxpayermoney}} &lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Son-Chu''' is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple &amp;quot;disconcerting&amp;quot; issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle to be used in a plan to [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|commit]] [[Sonichu Special 4|aggravated]] [[June062010.MOV|assault]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]]. Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] things to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu as of February 2012.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Facebook statuses]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Backstory==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a three-ton mobile weapon).]]&lt;br /&gt;
Since Chris jerks off to ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, &amp;quot;Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my [[Fail|Cool]] [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; From the [[CWCipedia]]:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The reason why the car is named &amp;quot;Son-Chu&amp;quot; still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other ''Transformers'' rip-offs, though.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Handicap parking permit==&lt;br /&gt;
Being [[Autism|a high-functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]], lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dashboard==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]&lt;br /&gt;
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's [[Autism|high-functioning life]], he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Vanity plate==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads &amp;quot;[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]&amp;quot;, thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading &amp;quot;UN4EVR&amp;quot; (apparently a statement of support for the U.N.) and &amp;quot;IB MR C&amp;quot; (&amp;quot;I be Mr. C,&amp;quot; as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]) and [[Barb]] has one named &amp;quot;B WESTON&amp;quot; (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a &amp;quot;[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]&amp;quot; frame.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Bumper stickers==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From left to right:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and [[Sonichu]], and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.&lt;br /&gt;
* Plan 9 Music&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably gets his [[Britney Spears]] CDs from.&lt;br /&gt;
* An [[America]]n Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads &amp;quot;United We Stand&amp;quot;. Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure.&amp;quot; - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. &lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]&amp;quot; - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].&lt;br /&gt;
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. &amp;quot;Come Play With Me!&amp;quot; has been replaced with a &amp;quot;Save [[McIntire Park]]&amp;quot; sticker. Since this is a first time we've seen Son-Chu in quite a while, it's so far impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Car trouble==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris &amp;quot;nearly backed up onto&amp;quot; the store's [[Manajerk|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris [[6 June 2010|loudly denied]]. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Mechanical issues==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]&lt;br /&gt;
It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (A common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|worthless shit]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it. &lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Current Status==&lt;br /&gt;
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear; However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the [[28 October 2011|infamous GaMe PLaCe incident]] in October of that year.  Chris currently drives a [[Wikipedia:MItsubishi Motors|Mitsubishi]]; no other information about Chris' new &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;transformer&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; ride is available at this time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. &amp;quot;[[Honor roll]]&amp;quot; my ass.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].&lt;br /&gt;
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta &lt;br /&gt;
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWCipedia}}&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Car Pranks]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Hot Wheels]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Relics of Fail}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Transformers]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=157790</id>
		<title>Son-Chu</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=157790"/>
		<updated>2012-02-29T14:54:25Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Current Status */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{taxpayermoney}} &lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Son-Chu''' is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple &amp;quot;disconcerting&amp;quot; issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle to be used in a plan to [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|commit]] [[Sonichu Special 4|aggravated]] [[June062010.MOV|assault]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]]. Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] things to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu as of February 2012.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Facebook statuses]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Backstory==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a three-ton mobile weapon).]]&lt;br /&gt;
Since Chris jerks off to ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, &amp;quot;Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my [[Fail|Cool]] [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; From the [[CWCipedia]]:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The reason why the car is named &amp;quot;Son-Chu&amp;quot; still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other ''Transformers'' rip-offs, though.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Handicap parking permit==&lt;br /&gt;
Being [[Autism|a high-functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]], lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dashboard==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]&lt;br /&gt;
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's [[Autism|high-functioning life]], he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Vanity plate==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads &amp;quot;[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]&amp;quot;, thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading &amp;quot;UN4EVR&amp;quot; (apparently a statement of support for the U.N.) and &amp;quot;IB MR C&amp;quot; (&amp;quot;I be Mr. C,&amp;quot; as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]) and [[Barb]] has one named &amp;quot;B WESTON&amp;quot; (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a &amp;quot;[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]&amp;quot; frame.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Bumper stickers==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From left to right:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and [[Sonichu]], and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.&lt;br /&gt;
* Plan 9 Music&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably gets his [[Britney Spears]] CDs from.&lt;br /&gt;
* An [[America]]n Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads &amp;quot;United We Stand&amp;quot;. Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure.&amp;quot; - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. &lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]&amp;quot; - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].&lt;br /&gt;
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. &amp;quot;Come Play With Me!&amp;quot; has been replaced with a &amp;quot;Save [[McIntire Park]]&amp;quot; sticker. Since this is a first time we've seen Son-Chu in quite a while, it's so far impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Car trouble==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris &amp;quot;nearly backed up onto&amp;quot; the store's [[Manajerk|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris [[6 June 2010|loudly denied]]. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Mechanical issues==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]&lt;br /&gt;
It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (A common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|worthless shit]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it. &lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Current Status==&lt;br /&gt;
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear; However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s and [[Troll]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the [[28 October 2011|infamous GaMe PLaCe incident]] in October of that year.  Chris currently drives a [[Wikipedia:MItsubishi Motors|Mitsubishi]]; no other information about Chris' new &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;transformer&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; ride is available at this time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. &amp;quot;[[Honor roll]]&amp;quot; my ass.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].&lt;br /&gt;
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta &lt;br /&gt;
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWCipedia}}&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Car Pranks]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Hot Wheels]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Relics of Fail}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Transformers]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=157789</id>
		<title>Son-Chu</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=157789"/>
		<updated>2012-02-29T14:53:14Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: It should at least mention the possibility that he bought a new car to avoid detection, since he gloated on Facebook about &amp;quot;jerkops&amp;quot; not reconigizing his Mitsubishi.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{taxpayermoney}} &lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Son-Chu''' is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple &amp;quot;disconcerting&amp;quot; issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle to be used in a plan to [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|commit]] [[Sonichu Special 4|aggravated]] [[June062010.MOV|assault]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]]. Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] things to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu as of February 2012.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Facebook statuses]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Backstory==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a three-ton mobile weapon).]]&lt;br /&gt;
Since Chris jerks off to ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, &amp;quot;Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my [[Fail|Cool]] [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; From the [[CWCipedia]]:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The reason why the car is named &amp;quot;Son-Chu&amp;quot; still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other ''Transformers'' rip-offs, though.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Handicap parking permit==&lt;br /&gt;
Being [[Autism|a high-functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]], lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dashboard==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]&lt;br /&gt;
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's [[Autism|high-functioning life]], he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Vanity plate==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads &amp;quot;[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]&amp;quot;, thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading &amp;quot;UN4EVR&amp;quot; (apparently a statement of support for the U.N.) and &amp;quot;IB MR C&amp;quot; (&amp;quot;I be Mr. C,&amp;quot; as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]) and [[Barb]] has one named &amp;quot;B WESTON&amp;quot; (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a &amp;quot;[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]&amp;quot; frame.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Bumper stickers==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From left to right:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and [[Sonichu]], and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.&lt;br /&gt;
* Plan 9 Music&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably gets his [[Britney Spears]] CDs from.&lt;br /&gt;
* An [[America]]n Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads &amp;quot;United We Stand&amp;quot;. Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure.&amp;quot; - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. &lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]&amp;quot; - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].&lt;br /&gt;
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. &amp;quot;Come Play With Me!&amp;quot; has been replaced with a &amp;quot;Save [[McIntire Park]]&amp;quot; sticker. Since this is a first time we've seen Son-Chu in quite a while, it's so far impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Car trouble==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris &amp;quot;nearly backed up onto&amp;quot; the store's [[Manajerk|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris [[6 June 2010|loudly denied]]. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Mechanical issues==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]&lt;br /&gt;
It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (A common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|worthless shit]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it. &lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Current Status==&lt;br /&gt;
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear; However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s and [[Troll]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year.  Chris currently drives a [[Wikipedia:MItsubishi Motors|Mitsubishi]]; no other information about Chris' new &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;transformer&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; ride is available at this time.&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. &amp;quot;[[Honor roll]]&amp;quot; my ass.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].&lt;br /&gt;
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta &lt;br /&gt;
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWCipedia}}&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Car Pranks]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Hot Wheels]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Relics of Fail}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Transformers]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=157754</id>
		<title>Son-Chu</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=157754"/>
		<updated>2012-02-29T10:05:56Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: /* Current Status */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{taxpayermoney}} &lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Son-Chu''' is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple &amp;quot;disconcerting&amp;quot; issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle to be used in a plan to [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|commit]] [[Sonichu Special 4|aggravated]] [[June062010.MOV|assault]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]]. Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] things to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu as of February 2012.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Facebook statuses]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Backstory==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a three-ton mobile weapon).]]&lt;br /&gt;
Since Chris jerks off to ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, &amp;quot;Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my [[Fail|Cool]] [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; From the [[CWCipedia]]:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The reason why the car is named &amp;quot;Son-Chu&amp;quot; still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other ''Transformers'' rip-offs, though.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Handicap parking permit==&lt;br /&gt;
Being [[Autism|a high-functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]], lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dashboard==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]&lt;br /&gt;
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's [[Autism|high-functioning life]], he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Vanity plate==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads &amp;quot;[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]&amp;quot;, thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading &amp;quot;UN4EVR&amp;quot; (apparently a statement of support for the U.N.) and &amp;quot;IB MR C&amp;quot; (&amp;quot;I be Mr. C,&amp;quot; as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]) and [[Barb]] has one named &amp;quot;B WESTON&amp;quot; (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a &amp;quot;[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]&amp;quot; frame.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Bumper stickers==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From left to right:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and [[Sonichu]], and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.&lt;br /&gt;
* Plan 9 Music&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably gets his [[Britney Spears]] CDs from.&lt;br /&gt;
* An [[America]]n Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads &amp;quot;United We Stand&amp;quot;. Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure.&amp;quot; - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. &lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]&amp;quot; - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].&lt;br /&gt;
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. &amp;quot;Come Play With Me!&amp;quot; has been replaced with a &amp;quot;Save [[McIntire Park]]&amp;quot; sticker. Since this is a first time we've seen Son-Chu in quite a while, it's so far impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Car trouble==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris &amp;quot;nearly backed up onto&amp;quot; the store's [[Manajerk|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris [[6 June 2010|loudly denied]]. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Mechanical issues==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]&lt;br /&gt;
It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (A common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|worthless shit]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it. &lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Current Status==&lt;br /&gt;
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear. Given its age, mileage and the ignoramus fate of many things that Chris comes in contact with, more than likely Son-Chu simply died and is now sitting in a scrapyard; Chris running it into the ground without even changing the oil regularly could have finally caught up with it, or it could have simply succumbed to the [[Wikipedia:Ford CVH engine#Valve Seat failure|well known engine problems]] that has brought down a considerable amount of its fellow Ford Escort brethren. However, it is also possible that Son-Chu is still on the road and Chris simply sold it and bought another car to avoid detection from [[jerkops]], especially in light of his [[28 October 2011|recent legal troubles]]. For whatever reason, Chris more than likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. Chris currently drives a [[Wikipedia:Mitsubishi Motors|Mitsubishi]]; no other information about Chris' new &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;transformer&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; ride is available at this time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. &amp;quot;[[Honor roll]]&amp;quot; my ass.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].&lt;br /&gt;
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta &lt;br /&gt;
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWCipedia}}&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Car Pranks]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Hot Wheels]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Relics of Fail}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Transformers]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=157753</id>
		<title>Son-Chu</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Son-Chu&amp;diff=157753"/>
		<updated>2012-02-29T10:05:13Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{taxpayermoney}} &lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Son-Chu''' is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple &amp;quot;disconcerting&amp;quot; issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle to be used in a plan to [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|commit]] [[Sonichu Special 4|aggravated]] [[June062010.MOV|assault]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]]. Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] things to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;&amp;gt;[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mumble 10&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu as of February 2012.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Facebook statuses]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Backstory==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a three-ton mobile weapon).]]&lt;br /&gt;
Since Chris jerks off to ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, &amp;quot;Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my [[Fail|Cool]] [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]&amp;quot;&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; From the [[CWCipedia]]:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The reason why the car is named &amp;quot;Son-Chu&amp;quot; still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other ''Transformers'' rip-offs, though.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Handicap parking permit==&lt;br /&gt;
Being [[Autism|a high-functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]], lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dashboard==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]&lt;br /&gt;
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's [[Autism|high-functioning life]], he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Vanity plate==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]&lt;br /&gt;
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads &amp;quot;[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]&amp;quot;, thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading &amp;quot;UN4EVR&amp;quot; (apparently a statement of support for the U.N.) and &amp;quot;IB MR C&amp;quot; (&amp;quot;I be Mr. C,&amp;quot; as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]) and [[Barb]] has one named &amp;quot;B WESTON&amp;quot; (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a &amp;quot;[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]&amp;quot; frame.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Bumper stickers==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From left to right:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and [[Sonichu]], and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.&lt;br /&gt;
* Plan 9 Music&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably gets his [[Britney Spears]] CDs from.&lt;br /&gt;
* An [[America]]n Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads &amp;quot;United We Stand&amp;quot;. Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].&lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure.&amp;quot; - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. &lt;br /&gt;
* &amp;quot;[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]&amp;quot; - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].&lt;br /&gt;
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. &amp;quot;Come Play With Me!&amp;quot; has been replaced with a &amp;quot;Save [[McIntire Park]]&amp;quot; sticker. Since this is a first time we've seen Son-Chu in quite a while, it's so far impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Car trouble==&lt;br /&gt;
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris &amp;quot;nearly backed up onto&amp;quot; the store's [[Manajerk|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris [[6 June 2010|loudly denied]]. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Mechanical issues==&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]&lt;br /&gt;
It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (A common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|worthless shit]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it. &lt;br /&gt;
{{-}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Current Status==&lt;br /&gt;
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear. Given its age, mileage and the ignoramus fate of many things that Chris comes in contact with, more than likely Son-Chu simply died and is now sitting in a scrapyard; Chris running it into the ground without even changing the oil regularly could have finally caught up with it, or it could have simply succumbed to the [[Wikipedia:Ford CVH engine#Valve Seat failure|well known engine problems]] that has brought down a considerable amount of its fellow Ford Escort brethren. However, it is also possible that Son-Chu is still on the road and Chris simply sold it and bought another car to avoid detection from [[jerkops]], especially in light of his [[28 October 2011|recent legal troubles]]. For whatever reason, Chris more than likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. Chris currently drives a [[Wikipedia:MItsubishi Motors|Mitsubishi]]; no other information about Chris' new &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;transformer&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; ride is available at this time.&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. &amp;quot;[[Honor roll]]&amp;quot; my ass.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].&lt;br /&gt;
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta &lt;br /&gt;
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.&lt;br /&gt;
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Sources ==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==See also==&lt;br /&gt;
{{CWCipedia}}&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Car Pranks]]&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Hot Wheels]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Relics of Fail}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Transformers]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Jackie&amp;diff=157752</id>
		<title>Jackie</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Jackie&amp;diff=157752"/>
		<updated>2012-02-29T09:19:01Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Runfromcheney: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Articleofthenow}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|And you will be safe, as long as I [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|do not talk]] about you at all online|[[Jackie e-mails|Every good show needs some foreshadowing]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|Just accept that you won't be respected as an adult and that you won't be getting a girlfriend or sex... ever|[[Jackie E-mails 23| Jackie, telling it like it is]]}}&lt;br /&gt;
{| class=&amp;quot;infobox&amp;quot; style=&amp;quot;width: 21em; font-size: 90%;&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
! colspan=&amp;quot;2&amp;quot; | Sweethearts&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| colspan=&amp;quot;2&amp;quot; | [[Image:JackSweetheart.jpg|300px]]&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
! colspan=&amp;quot;2&amp;quot; |Jacklyn Romy&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Nickname'''&lt;br /&gt;
| Jackie&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Date of Birth'''&lt;br /&gt;
| [[1987]]&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Gender'''&lt;br /&gt;
| Female&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Nationality'''&lt;br /&gt;
| [[United States of America|American]]&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Race'''&lt;br /&gt;
| [[Chris and race|White]]&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| '''Occupation(s)'''&lt;br /&gt;
Magazine editor&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Jacklyn &amp;quot;Jackie&amp;quot; Romy''' is a [[boyfriend-free girl]] whom [[Chris]] met on [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]. She became his latest [[sweetheart]] and Chris exchanged several emails with her in [[April 2010|April]]-[[October 2010]], and made her many videos. According to one of Chris' leaked Facebook statuses in February 2012, he has resumed contact with her.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile (Username Luv2Jax)==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Image:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg|thumb|&amp;quot;[[Sweetheart]]&amp;quot; in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', note the shirt and bracelet]]&lt;br /&gt;
===Sexy sweetie looking for love===&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm a little shy about this, but here goes... I'm looking for a guy between about 26-30 (I like my guys a little older, just call me [[Bob Chandler|old fashioned]] I guess) who is tall, has an [[Chris and health|athletic build, straight teeth, and a good smile.]] I don't really care what you do so long as you're [[monthly tugboat|driven]]; I care more about a [[Chris and fashion|nice sense of style]] and [[Fridays After Five|outgoing personality]]. I want [[Virgin with rage|someone who doesn't need to be with someone but wants to because he knows how amazing it can be!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Things I like to do, let's see... I love to go biking, it'd be nice if you did too. I love to play golf as well. I like to go out afer work, [[McDonalds|go to dinner]], [[SpaghettiRoutine|cook dinner]] together (I LOVE to cook), spend the weekend [[Chris and rape|at my family's cabin]], travel, road trip and have [[Hanky-Panky|sex]]. Lots and lots of sex. (not gonna [[List of Chris's lies|lie]]!) Probably during some of the activities I just listed... I want that chemistry that is so strong, just a kiss can lead to wanting to have sex right then and there...&lt;br /&gt;
I suppose you want to know a little about me, hm?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm 5'3&amp;quot;, slender, I don't [[Tobacky|smoke]] (HATE it) but I [[Chris's Big Night Out|drink]] once in a while. I graduated college last year and I work as an [[Chris and English|editor]] for a magazine. I love every day. [[Sonichu's Edge|I run in road races]]. [[Chris and money|Oh, and I shop]]. [[Rosechu|I shop a LOT.]] :) Most importantly, I want that [[Autism|special]] someone I can share my life with and start [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|a family]] with.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chris and his ego|If you're reading this and you feel like it describes you, I hope you'll email me back!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Characteristics===&lt;br /&gt;
Gender: '''Woman'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Current Status: '''Single'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Looking for: '''Friends, Casual Dating, Long-term Relationship'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Body Type: '''Slender, Petite, Curvy'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Eyes: '''Hazel'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Height: '''5' 03&amp;quot;'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Hair Type: '''Red'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Age: '''22'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Seeks: [[Duck|'''Man for Dating, Man for Friendship''']]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Profile===&lt;br /&gt;
Education: '''College graduate'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Religion: '''Unitarian'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Political Leanings: '''Independent, Kinky'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Neighborhood: '''Charlottesville'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
City: '''Charlottesville'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Occupation: '''Magazine Editor'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Have Children: '''No'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Want Children: '''[[Crystal Weston Chandler|Yes]]'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Habits===&lt;br /&gt;
Smoking: '''[[Tobacky|Never]]'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Drinking: '''[[Alcohol|Sometimes]]'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Drugs: '''Not interested'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Personality===&lt;br /&gt;
I get around town via: '''[[Son-Chu|Car]], Bycicle, Walk'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
My dietary preferences are: '''[[Nudes|No red meat]]'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
I spend my free time: '''Reading, Sex, Creating, Working out, [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Watching movies]], Shopping, Biking, Frisbee Golf'''&amp;lt;BR&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Funniest Thing: '''[[Random Access Humor|A monkey on roller skates]]'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Deeper===&lt;br /&gt;
'''If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, wo'd be coming?'''&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bionic|Wilt Chamberlain]], [[Anne Boleyn|Queen Elizabeth I]], [[Mailbag_1#Chris_the_inventor|Leonardo Da Vinci]] and [[Homo|Liberace]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''What's under your bed?''' My old [[Playstation]]... it's my guilty pleasure!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Two books that everybody should read are''' [[Father_Call#Literature_and_health|Of Mice and Men]] and the Great Gatsby.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Fill It===&lt;br /&gt;
I'm an open-minded person, but '''[[Chris and race|big]][[Homos|ot]][[Women's rights|ry]]''' is a deal-breaker.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Design your ideal mate: the brain of a '''[[art|Andy]] [[Homos|Warhol]]''' and the body of a '''[[Power|Brad Pitt]]'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
People say '''my smile is my best feature'''.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''... ask me...'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The quickest way to my heart is '''[[SpaghettiRoutine|good cooking]]''' The quickest way to my [[Hanky-panky|bed]] is '''[[51 50|strong, muscly arms]]'''' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked '''basted'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The last concert I attented was '''[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|Crash Test Dummies]]'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''[[Wikipedia:Digimon|Digimon]]'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Dogwood''' is my favorite local festival.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I wouldn't sell '''my body''' for a billion dollars.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''[[Vanessa Hudgens|Christina Ricci]]''' is the celebrity I've been told I resemble.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''[[China|P.F. Changs]]''' is my favorite restaurant.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===In and Out===&lt;br /&gt;
The Corner or '''[[CWCville Shopping Center|Downtown Mall]]'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Blockbuster''' or Sneak Reviews&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''[[Matthew Noble call|Best Buy]]''' or Sidetracks&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Wireless''' or Landline&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Aristocrat''' or Grey Goose&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[100 2269|Beatles]] or '''Stones'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
CD or '''MP3'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Carmike''' or Vinegar Hill&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Dogs or '''[[Cats]]'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Summer''' or Winter&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Niggos|Black]] or '''[[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Brown]]'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''[[Long Island Iced Tea|Bars]]''' or [[14 Branchland Court|Stay Home]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Kroger or '''Whole Food'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''PC''' or Mac&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Wheel of Fortune''' or Grey's Anatomy&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Steak or '''[[Pickles|Salad]]'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Steak or '''Sushi'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Cavaliers''' or [[Cherokian Clan|Redskins]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Casket''' or Cremation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Fax or '''[[Email]]'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Dyed or '''Natural'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Pumps''' or Flats&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'''Beach''' or Mountains&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
SUV or '''Sedan'''&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==First contact==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{main|Jackie Emails}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Jackie corresponded with Chris in a series of emails spanning from 5-21 [[April 2010]]. The exchange culminated in a rather disturbing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|video]] outlining Chris's knowledge of cunnilingus in lurid detail.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==A new dawn?==&lt;br /&gt;
In early [[September 2010]] his [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|E-Mail exchange with Clyde and Tito]] suggests the possibility of a new sweetheart, but Chris refuses to reveal her name. Furthermore, he uploaded a ''[[ModNation]]'' character generically named 'Sweetheart', which was discussed to be another [[Chloe]] or [[Wallflower]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 13 September 2010 Chris uploaded a [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|video]] officially proclaiming his love to Jackie. Three days later, he produced a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|video]] capitalizing on Jackie's love for Canadian band, Crash Test Dummies, while ''[[Chris and race|in blackface]]''. Chris then spent [[October 2010|October]] [[Chris and cosplaying|cosplaying]] as various characters from [[100 2265|The Hamburglar]] to his own [[ECV 00002|Chris-chan]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Sonichu]] thereby bringing the crazy to [[Ivy]] Saga levels (it must be the red hair). &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In [[November 2011]] Chris repeatedly mentioned Jackie in [[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD|the leaked debut album]] of his newest fictional band, [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]. It is unknown if Chris is still in contact with her.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Lars==&lt;br /&gt;
'''Lars McNulty''' is Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]], whom Jackie left over his [[PS3#PlayStation Network|ridiculous obsession]] with [[ModNation Racers|model boats]]. He later distributed [[nudes]] of Jackie to a [[troll]]&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Jackie Chat 2]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; and sent her a boat made of popsicle sticks, with a condom for a sail.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;[[Jackie Chat 3]]&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Egged on by Jackie, Chris developed an [[autism|intense fixation]] on Lars and released a number of videos mocking and attacking his erstwhile rival. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chris's [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|first video addressing Lars]] appeared on 25 September, in which Chris proves who is the bigger and stronger man by smashing a model boat made of [[Lego]]. A [[New Address|second video]] appeared two days later, where Chris gloats over how Lars has lost Jackie, explains how he will fulfill her every desire, and warns Lars not to mess with her — or [[Death threats|Chris will intervene]]. Three days after that, he continued to mock Lars's interest in boats and set to [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|babbling about tape dispensers]]. (An [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|extended version]] of this third video appeared on 2 October.)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Subsequent videos in the first two weeks of October addressed other subjects, but Chris returned his attention to Lars in a [[100 2281|fourth video]] released in the wee hours of 15 October. There, a drunk Chris sported a [[Wikipedia:Do-rag|do-rag]] and accused Lars of spreading the old rumor that he's a [[homo]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On 6 November, [[Lars Call|audio]] was released of a call between Lars and Chris.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Oops, He Did it Again==&lt;br /&gt;
{{quote|We'll be very happy together. I know it. I will make you happy as much as possible. And when you're feeling down, I'll make you feel better. I love you.|Chris, [[Stare|giving the Creepy Stare]] to his beloved.}}&lt;br /&gt;
On 30 [[October 2010]], an [[alcohol|inebriated]]-looking Chris posted a [[ToJackie|video]] in which he pleads Jackie to stay with him. Since there had been no further Jackie-related videos and Chris had decided to [[100 2357.MOV|quit the internet]] '''again''', it was assumed they had split up. The actual breakup happened a couple days later, when he stopped responding to Jackie's emails.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In [[November 2010|November]], new information about Jackie was released in the form of various [[Jackie Chat 1|chats]] and [[Jackie E-mails 3|emails]]. These provided valuable context about Chris's activities online throughout the latter half of 2010. The email exchanges proved that yet again, Chris is unwilling to make any improvements to his life - even to get the china he so desperately craves.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Oops, He Did it Again... Again!==&lt;br /&gt;
In February 2012, [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] released a number of videos from August 2011 that Chris made for Jackie, who apparently was back in contact with him. These included [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date]]‎, [[Little Tomboy Blue]]‎, [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter]]‎, [[Teenage Dream]] and [[Cheerleader]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Sources==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;references/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
{{Sweethearts}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{DEFAULTSORT:Romy, Jacklyn}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Sweethearts]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category: Jackie Saga]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Runfromcheney</name></author>
	</entry>
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