CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Kaka Makeup Basics

2011-08-17T04:48:33Z

Sakanz:

{{Not_A_Forum}}

I will transcribe this bitch! --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 19:53, 16 August 2011 (PDT)

...kaka? [[User:Mupkids|Mupkids]] 20:12, 16 August 2011 (PDT)
:Well, at least he doesn't use poop in his makeup. - [[User:LucidFox|LucidFox]] 20:31, 16 August 2011 (PDT)

I think he's gone way beyond just being gay at this point. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 21:48, 16 August 2011 (PDT)

== It's done! ==

Transcription is done...roughly. It needs to be prettied up and a once over done for any mumbling I missed. As a girl, I'd like to mention that none of those are his shade and whomever tried to help him at the store probably did their best. I have no idea who this KaKa is...I'm assuming it's his "TomGirl" persona. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:34, 16 August 2011 (PDT)

Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)

2010-09-15T00:03:06Z

Sakanz:

''This article is about Chris's stupid imaginary twin sister. For Chris's stupid imaginary future daughter, see [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]].''

[[Image:Crystal.jpg|right|thumb|Crystal in her human for-[[Audiobooks|LOOK AT THAT EAR GOD DAMN!]]]]

'''Crystal Weston Chandler''' is the fictional twin sister of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Her role in his fantasy world stems from his long held desire to have a sibling to play with<ref>Mentioned in his [[Song of Christian]] video: "hoping" for a "lil brother."</ref> along with some narcissistic pleasure or even gender identity issue with seeing himself as an attractive female. Crystal represents one of the more embarrassing facets of Chris's mind. Since his notions of the perfect girlfriend, the perfect sister, and the perfect daughter so easily intersect, it is hard ''not'' to arrive at a conclusion involving incest.

[[Image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|thumb|left|Notice how the "girlfriend" in this pic looks like a crude version of Crystal, even down to the shirt. Freud would have a fucking field day with Chris.]]

He appears to have first created the character in 2004 as "Crystal the Female Twin" for his set of custom [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards, although another of those cards depicts Crystal as "Girlfriend's Gift". In fiction, Crystal wears a [[Rosechu]] [[medallion]] correlating to Chris's [[Sonichu]] medallion and [[Reldnahc]]'s [[Black Sonichu]] medallion; this is inconsistent (or is it?) with Chris's usual theme of Sonichu, Rosechu, and Blake representing the hero, lover, and villain. In real life, Chris created the Rosechu medallion for his future girlfriend, which begs the question of how he expected to adapt this into the comics when his sister was running around wearing the same bauble as his fiancée.

Crystal's origin is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 5]], where she is made manifest by Chris employing his [[anchuent powers]] and [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to split into two ([[pickle|nearly]]) identical beings. Chris and Crystal wear the same [[Chris and fashion|outfits]] and even have the same super powers, although she lacks her brother's [[heterochromia]]. Throughout her appearances in the comics, characters are constantly noting how attractive she (and, by extension, Chris) is.

In 2007, Chris attempted to shock [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] into submission by posting his own [[Rule 34]] drawings, including one of himself [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|fingerbanging a nude brunette woman]]. ED users immediately concluded this was Crystal, a charge which infuriated Chris and therefore became the conventional wisdom. By the time Chris successfully convinced anyone that it was really [[Megan Schroeder]] in the drawing, the notion that Chris wants to bang his imaginary twin sister had already stuck. Nonetheless, Megan stopped being friends with him because of the whole business, so Chris lost on both counts.

The theme of incestuous narcissism is also prevalent in literature of the Romantic period, particularly that of Lord Byron, who apparently acted on Chris's fantasy. The theory is that the man in question is so much [[Chris and his ego| in love with himself]] that the only other person he could ever truly love is his closest genetic match. Furthermore, with the Romantic emphasis on sympathy through [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares|shared experience]], great nostalgia for [[Chris's room|childhood]], and desire to be "[[Love Quest|understood]]" (though complete disinterest in [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails|understanding]]) make a sibling an ideal sexual partner for the narcissist. Most of the Romantics saw the problem with this, and contented themselves with [[Sarah Hammer|childhood friends]], but then, Chris was never as smart as Wordsworth.
{{-}}

==In the comic==
[[Image:Crystalina_Rosechu.jpg|right|thumb|Crystal's furfag form, Crystalina Rosechu. Also the only Sailor Soldier to wear sneakers.]]

The comic version of Crystal was first introduced in [[Sub-Episode 4]], where she appeared to aid Chris during a battle with the [[W-M-Manajerk]] in the [[Mal-Wart]] Region. Beaten and nearly subdued, Chris had a vision of his Cherokian ancestor. He revealed to Chris that his [[Heart Torch]] is able to summon his "dream sibling". Crystal has also helped Chris battle [[Bagget]] and the [[Transformers|Change-Bot]] Crackder in the [[Get-Tar Region]], as well as Mary Lee Walsh at the [[PVCC]].

Crystal was trapped in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]] in [[Sonichu 5]]. In an attempt to save Chris and [[Sailor Megtune]] from falling victim to the Mirror, she pushed them both out of the way, becoming captive in the Mirror herself. After her capture, a few token mentions have been made of her plight - at one point, it was said that gathering the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] would allow Crystal to escape the mirror - but for the most part she was largely forgotten, especially while Christian himself was stuck in the practically identical [[Time Void]].

Since Chris is ejecting everyone he created from his [[sweetheart search]] misadventures, the final fate of Crystal Weston Chandler seemed quite grim. Then, partway through [[Sonichu 10]], Chris suddenly turned into [[Collosal Chan]] and rescued her by simply [[Sonichu Special 4|walking in]], [[I AM STRONG|scooping her up]] in his arms and walking out of the mirror in the most [[Chris and writing|anti-climactic way]].

Being Chris's twin, Crystal's powers are very similar to his. She can transform into a Rosechu called [[Crystalina Rosechu]]. When she and [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] join together, they are able to form [[Chris-Chan Pure]] and execute a powerful ultimate attack known as [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]].

Personality-wise, Crystal is a bland, stereotypical girl, who overindulges in girly stuff such as shopping and perfume. Her fashion sense is every bit as shitty as her twin brother, as she wears the same stupid striped clown shirts and even has her own stupid fucking Rosechu medallion. Crystal has an odd quirk where she constantly refers to Chris as "Christopher" instead of "Christian".
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:152-YuCrystal.jpg
Image:CrystalSquirtle.png|Crystal joins the [[Moon-Pals]].
File:Collosalcrystalina.png|Crystal+Sonichu balls or something.
File:Crystal 001.jpg|Chris's most prominent thoughts on this matter.
Image:CrystalHawt.jpg|Artist's depiction.
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu76_wphCp8 CWC Sketch- Crystal]

==References==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Crystal Weston}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Talk:The MovingFoward videos

2010-08-30T02:17:58Z

Sakanz:

{{Not A Forum}}
Transcribing this one presently... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 17:27, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:Done transcribing. Well, that was something you don't see every day. If anybody can catch what he says while he's setting down the camera in the first bit, please do add that... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 17:54, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

What account did he upload this on?--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 17:42, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
*he didn't upload it, trolls did --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 17:42, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

:Um, wow... Destroying his life upgrade? This has to be the work of an external source, no way in hell Chris would do this on his own... I'm guessing either Rocky or Snorlax and the lumber jack. I'm gonna hold off on commenting any further until new information is gleaned.--[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 17:46, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

How did the trolls get ahold of this video...obviously an inside job if he sent it to some trolls "I'll have sex with you if you destroy your ps3" Our tax dollars will buy him another one however...I wonder if he will still use the Sonichu ID?--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 18:01, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

Am stupid question i know but why the fuck doesn't he just connect the HDD to his computer and run a data recovery application ? --[[User:Hdl6h3g|Hdl6h3g]] 17:52, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

::Wow, this is a bit extreme, even for Chris. I would be surprised if he thought of doing this on his own. [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 17:52, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

:::I tried doing that once. Didn't work. I think the PS3 uses a file system that Windows doesn't recognize. I've heard that it can be accessed in Linux, though. Not that it matters, since a formatted drive is near impossible to retrieve data from. He should have just backed it up beforehand.--[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 18:14, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

Here's my question, what's he going to do when winter sets in and he's got nothing to do inside? He'll probably be getting a new one when he realizes that. Food for thought. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 18:15, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

Well it seems like he thinks his PS3 is the sole cause of his lack in a social life, it sort of is but destroying the PS3 seems more like treating a symptom than a disease. [[User:Pinefresh|Pinefresh]] 18:19, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:Sort of, it certainly is a measure to change, albeit an extreme one, but necessary. It's like an addiction really and he's kind of forcing himself into a kind of rehab by doing this. This is all assuming he doesn't just go buy a new one though. But I think that all we've heard from Chris these past few months are all connected: the PS3 destruction, him trying to get off the internet, and, most of all, his high school reunion. He's trying to the best of his ability but keep in mind that it's Chris. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 18:25, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
Considering how fucking poor these people are, I am shocked that they didn't pawn the PS3 for some solid cash. I mean, jesus fuck.--[[User:CaptainCanuck|CaptainCanuck]] 18:37, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

The 'Trophy Unlocked: Killed the HEX-BOX!" has a certain delicious irony to it now. Maybe Chris deserves an Xbox 360 Achievement for 'killing' the PS3? [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 19:17, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

== Growing up? ==

Could it be possible that this is a sign that America's favorite HFA is ridding himself of his "childish" things? Or is it possible that he's just destroying it to feel more adult when he goes to his reunion? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 18:46, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

:Fat chance. Even now, he's probably going out and spending his monthly tugboat on another PlayStation 3. He destroyed because he thinks it might lure the trolls away from him. --SpaceScreaminJohn 18:57, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

HE HAS PURCHASED A NEW SLIM PS3 A SLIM PS3 WITH THE LARGEST HARD DRIVE AVAILABLE SLIMMER DESIGN PS3 FOR MORE GAMES.
: Proof? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 19:17, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

File talk:Modnation Wiimote.jpg

2010-07-26T18:45:45Z

Sakanz:

Is that half of a coffin on the front? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:52, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:That was my initial impression, yes.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 22:56, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:It's just Chris admitting his car designs are inherently death traps. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 18:45, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
That's not even slightly Wiimote-looking ''damn son'' [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 00:58, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

File talk:Modnation RosechusKart.jpg

2010-07-26T18:44:21Z

Sakanz: Created page with 'Cause girls are only allowed to drive pinks cars in CWCville. ~~~~'

Cause girls are only allowed to drive pinks cars in CWCville. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 18:44, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story

2010-07-15T08:40:45Z

Sakanz:

{{Unfinished}}

[[Image:SonichuChristmas.jpg|thumb|Chris's logo. Nice.]]
"'''A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story'''" is a [[Christmas]]-themed stream-of-consciousness short story that [[Chris]] started in the late evening of 13 [[December 2009]]. It appears that Chris began writing without any clear idea of what the overall story was, which lead to [[stress]] and Chris giving up halfway through - proof that even when given a basic template used for generations Chris will still fail.

As of this current time, the project remains unfinished, presumed forgotten.

[[Sonichu 11]] features a comic adaptation of this story (also unfinished).

==Synopsis==

It is December 2008 in [[CWCville]]. The thoughts of CWCville's citizens have turned to [[Rosechu|shopping]], "[[Santa Clause]]", and religion, in that order. The churches are full of Christians, and [[Christmas#Other confessions|Jews and Buddhists]] have also apparently gathered in the churches to celebrate, as [[Chris and religion|Chris is an idiot]]. Chris casually notes that CWCville has so many homeless people that it requires ten homeless shelters/soup kitchens.

[[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], able-bodied adults who [[Monthly tugboat|do not work]], prepare to lavish expensive gifts on their children in their state-appointed housing while across town the apparent throngs of destitute homeless people huddle for warmth in overcrowded flophouses (Chris calls them [[Mailbag 18|"Soup Hotels!"]]). Chris believes toddlers can do a lot, as [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Cera, Christine and Robbie]] hang stockings, rehearse for the overtly Christian school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them appears to be in elementary school, so Chris likely forgot how old they were supposed to be. Incidentally, "Cera" used to be spelled "Cerah".

Robbie and Sonichu have a lengthy conversation about toys and video games. Most of the conversation is centered around why [[Chris|Sonichu]] doesn't get more presents. [[Fail|Chris adds a note suggesting that the wireless PS3 controller should have some kind of special strap, so he could lash the controller to his feeble, sweaty hands without having to worry about dropping it.]]

[[Women's rights|Staying in the kitchen]], Rosechu and Cera bake cookies for their Christmas party, which will occur in nine days. Cera has baked a single "[[duck|candle-shaped]]" cookie for the [[Racism|token Jew]] she invited to the party. Cera tells Rosechu that she made him a vanilla cookie, so he wouldn't fall prey to some Jew food allergy from eating a peanut butter or chocolate cookie. It is unclear whether the children are allotted one cookie each, or Kevin (the Jewish character) is only given one cookie as some kind of punishment for not believing in the divinity of Jesus Christ. Rosechu high-fives Cera for her halfhearted attempt at being culturally sensitive.

==A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas==

'''A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas'''

By Christian Weston Chandler, December 13, 2009.

===Act 1===

It is December 12, 2008, in the City of Cwcville, Virginia. The majority of the citizens of Cwcville are full of the Christmas Cheer and Holiday Joy. Carolers are singing in various parts of the city. There's a Santa Clause in the middle of the Shopping Mall. The Biggest, Greatly Decorated Christmas Tree occupies the center of CWC-Central Park. All the churches are full with all the believers, be they Christians, Jewish folk, Buddhists, and such. Christmas Trees (mostly) and Menorahs light up most every house, apartment, store and all the living spaces. Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. Although there tend to be one or two humbugged individuals within each group of people.

On this jolly day, we focus on the little house on 14 Brunchville Lane, where we see the Sonichu Family putting the finishing touches on decorating their house. Mama Rosechu and Cera are baking Christmas Cookies of fun and various shapes of Chocolate Chip, Peanut Butter and even Gingerbread. Christine is in her bedroom, rehearsing and trying on her Mary Outfit for the Christmas Play at the AnneWeston Elementary School. Robbie and Papa Sonichu, with their fully-decorated Christmas Tree behind them, are putting up the Stockings by the fireplace in the Rec Room.

Robbie had just hung his stocking up, between Cera's and Christine's stockings, when he chimes in singing happily, "And the stockings were hung by the chimney with care; we three children knowing Santa would soon be there." Sonichu smiles for Robbie, kneels down for eye-contact, then asks him, "Hey, partner, what do you think Santa will fill your stocking with?" Robbie thinks for a few seconds and replies, "I snail-mailed him a letter asking to put some candy in it, and maybe a copy of the new Wii Olympic game featuring Uncle Sonic. OOH! And I asked Santa to put the big Lego Police Station Set under the tree for me, along with what he will bring for Cera, Christine and you and Mama." Robbie smiles. Sonichu replies, "I don't know about me and Mama; Santa usually brings more for the children." Robbie's smile quickly fades and he asks, "Why does Santa bring less for the grown-ups?" "Well, Santa understands that adults like me and Mama require less," Sonichu replies, "and besides which, we usually treat each other on the presents." Robbie replies, "But Cera, Christine and I chip in for you and Mama too." "Yes y'all do," Sonichu replies, "on Christmas, as well as the other 364 days in your own cute ways; a smile, drawings, and the [[Captain%27s_Log,_Stardate_August_12th,_2009|time we share together as a family."]] Robbie thinks on that for a moment, and he remembers his drawings of sailboats, Papa Sonichu winning a Wrestler's Belt in the match and the family gathered together. He also remembers the games of catching the football, running training around the yard, even High Velocity Bowling on the Playstation 3 (with a custom-fitted Wii wrist-strap attached to the Dualshock 3 Controller. I.M.H.O., ALL wireless controllers should be made with the accessory hole for the wrist straps). After all that remembering, Robbie replies with a smile, "Yes we do."

Meanwhile, in the Kitchen, Rosechu and Cera have almost finished baking all the cookies for the upcoming Christmas Party. Cera looks at some of the cookies and smells their goodness. Rosechu looks over her shoulder from the sink, almost empty of the dirty cooking tools that were to be cleaned, because most of them were already cleaned and washed, and tells Cera, "They smell really good, huh?" Cera replies, "Yes, Mama. Delicious," with a few crumbs hanging from her lips, because she ate one peanut butter cookie. The oven bell dings as the last batch of cookies are done. Rosechu washes her hands, dries them, then switches the oven off and opens the oven with an oven mitt on her right hand. and pulls the tray of cookies out. The smell of warm gingerbread refills the air. Cera wipes off her mouth with a napkin from the table, and fetches a fresh, clean spatula from the clean countertop and hands it to Rosechu. The cookies are gently lifted from the tray then are stacked onto a clean plate to cool. Cera exclaims, "I am looking forward to the party, mama. I am happy you allowed our friends from school to come too." Rosechu replies, "That's okay, sweetie." Cera continues with a question, holding a cookie in a zip-loc bag, "I've invited Kevin too; do you think he'll like this candle-shaped cookie I made for him? He told me he was Jewish, and I thought it would be appropriate." Rosechu replies, "I think he'll love it. You have made it really special with the white frosting for the wax and the yellow for the flame. Uh, what kind of cookie was it again?" "Vanilla", replies Cera, "I felt it best to keep it neutral, in case he was allergic to the peanut butter or chocolate." "Very Smart," says Rosechu with a smile, exchanging a high-five with Cera. The two put all the cookies into multiple zip-loc bags to be saved for the party on the 21st.

==See also:==
{{CWCipedia|chris=A_Sonichu_and_Rosechu_Christmas}}
*[[Sonichu 11]], containing a comic version of this [[Fail|masterpiece]].
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]
*[[A Sonichu Day]], another day with Sonichu's family.
*[[Sonichu is Dead]], yet another day with Sonichu's family.

{{Writings}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]

Love Quest

2010-07-14T22:13:05Z

Sakanz:

{{quote|I DO NOT KNOW WHY I would expect ANY woman to be Attracted to me, IN PUBLIC...|Chris, in a [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|sudden moment of clarity.]]}}

{{quote|... except for the fact that I am Handsome| You know what? Fuck it.}}

[[Image:Chris-Chan Warrior of Love.jpg|thumb|How Chris views himself.]]
[[Image:CWCpropaganda.jpg|thumb|[[Fan]] propaganda.]]

The '''Love Quest''' (or '''Sweetheart Search''') is the ongoing, real life saga of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] to obtain a girlfriend. The stated purpose of the Love Quest (or "[[sweetheart]] search") is to meet the person who will be his true love and will solve all his problems and give birth to his children. However, Chris believes all of this will be assured upon his first successful [[Chris and sex|sexual intercourse]] with a woman, and so for all practical purposes the true goal is to lose his virginity.

Chris is known to have had crushes on girls prior to [[2002]], but the Love Quest represents a focused effort to do everything in his power to achieve romantic fulfillment. He has often linked the Love Quest with what he claims to be visions from [[GodJesus]] commanding him to father [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|a daughter]], as well as his desire to prove that he is straight; at times these seem to be the only actual reasons Chris wants a lover.

==Origins==
===Background===
[[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|thumb|right|Spell cards don't work IRL, Chris.]]

The catalyst for the Love Quest was Christian's encounter with [[Sarah Hammer]] during his move back to [[Ruckersville]], and enrollment at the [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College|Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. This occurred somewhere between June 2000 and October 2003.

Sarah is presumably the first woman to tell the ever-naïve Christian, "[[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl|I have a boyfriend]]." Chris unexpectedly learned that his childhood [[gal pal]] was romantically involved with [[Wes Iseli]].<ref>[[Story_of_My_Current_Days]]</ref> Upon making this discovery, he quickly developed an intense jealousy of Wes and resentment towards him that would set his state of mind for the impending Quest.

Throughout [[2003]] Chris passively expressed his mix of longing and disappointment by way of [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] and [[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]. It is clear that Chris had at some point decided Sarah was supposed to be his soulmate (although perhaps not until he learned she was unavailable) and had difficulty accepting that this would not be a possibility. In 2005, following Sarah's breakup with Wes and hookup with [[William Spicer]], he dealt with the situation more openly and publicly in [[Sonichu 2]]. (This acceptance perhaps stemmed from his turn to a new object of infatuation - see the Megan section below.)

===Epiphany===
According to Chris, the genesis of the Love Quest was on his twenty-first birthday, 24 [[February 2003]].<ref>Chris misspoke the year as 2002 in [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|this video]], but he has consistently referenced his 21st birthday, which was in 2003.</ref> On this date, he was kicked out of his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] English class after a dispute with his teacher. (In his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|Wikipedia biography]], Chris claimed the teacher ejected him simply on account of his autism, but on his date with [[Emily]], he admitted that autism had nothing to do with it - he was in fact kicked out for delivering an angry tirade about [[homos]]{{cite}}.) While waiting for his next class, Chris sat and cried his eyes out, realizing there was no one to comfort him like when he cried at his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|graduation]]. Shortly thereafter he resolved that he needed a girlfriend.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

Presumably the connection between these events is that Chris felt hurt and ostracized by his punishment, leading him to recognize his need for someone who would appreciate him unconditionally. However, Chris further states that the Love Quest ''officially'' began in August 2003<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>, suggesting that he waited six months to actually execute his plans out of sheer laziness.

===The Salad Days===
At some point early on in the Quest, Chris developed an intense, socially crippling [[Noviophobia|fear]] that all women have boyfriends. Since his [[autism]] causes him to approach social tasks in the bluntest manner possible, it can be assumed that his initial approach was to walk up to women cold and frankly ask if they would go out with him. It may be further inferred that Chris's unrelenting persistence made it extremely difficult for a woman he liked to get rid of him, short of claiming to have a boyfriend. In any case, Chris quickly lost nearly all of his confidence in talking to women and developed an irrational hatred of boyfriends, or "[[JERKS]]" (i.e., all men everywhere except himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]]). Since this time, he has always specified that his potential girlfriend must be a [[boyfriend-free girl]] (sometimes "single, boyfriend-free girl"), as if this were not already obvious.

==Conflicts with Mary Lee Walsh==
[[Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|thumb|Miscellaneous items used during the Love Quest. Or as the Commonwealth of Virginia will eventually call it, Exhibit A.]]
[[Image:134-cwcsonstecrdgirlbck.jpg|thumb|Back of a ''Sonichu'' Business Card]]

{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

By [[October 2003]], Chris had put into practice what was "the only sensible idea I could come up with that was inexpensive": sitting on the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] campus holding a sign that read 'I am a 21-Year Old Male, seeking an 18-21-Year Old Single Female Companion.' This would be the first of many versions of the [[Attraction Sign]], a vital tool in the Love Quest for several years to come.

Sometime during October, the school's Dean of Student Services, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], confronted Chris and confiscated his sign. According to Chris's recollection of the event:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services", Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." [[Heart level|MY HEART WAS SHATTERED]] that very moment.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 03 May 2009}}

What is far more likely to have occurred is this: Walsh probably decided Chris was making a nuisance of himself and asked him what he thought he was doing; Chris probably delivered a big confusing monologue (possibly with a song and dance) about seeking true love; and Walsh then likely dismissed the substance of Chris's response with "You can't do that here." Walsh's point of contention was undoubtedly just the sign, but over the years Chris has demonized her into a brutal harpy whose sole mission in life is to cockblock him.

Undaunted, Chris simply made a new sign, and a few weeks later Walsh confronted him again. In late [[January 2004]], Chris revised his strategy, leaving copies of the [[Sonichu's News Dash!]] newsletter strewn about the campus, each one containing a single "personals ad" about himself. By [[February 2004|February]], Walsh had cracked down on Chris again, banning distribution of the News Dash.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], [[February 2004|February 9, 2004]]</ref> In Chris's own words:

{{quote|Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own attack that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an anger management course and see a [[Chris and psychology|psychiatrist]] for a while.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 03 [[May 2009]]}}

The extent of the "attack" Chris made against Walsh, whether it was physical or just a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], is unknown, although it would have had to have been something pretty serious to get him suspended from PVCC ''and'' forced to undergo counseling. The timing of the incident is also unclear, since Chris has cited 16 [[September 2004]] as the date of his suspension.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 16, 2004</ref>

==Conflicts with Jerkops==

By [[August 2004]], Chris had expanded his quest to other [[Attraction Location]]s besides PVCC, such as [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. It was here that he attempted a new tactic, inspired by ''[[Excel Saga]]'': laying a [[Red String of Fate]] across the mall floor. This inevitably led to a confrontation with mall security, making this Chris's first recorded encounter with the [[Jerkops]].<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], August 2004</ref>

By [[September 2004|September]] Chris had somehow learned that loitering in public places with a sign advertising his services as a boyfriend made it look like he was "trying to sell [him]self like a new car," but he still managed to miss the point and believe this was something he could work to his advantage. He continued to have confrontations with mall security until 11 September 2004, when he was arrested, handcuffed, and forbidden from entering the mall without one of his parents. With both of his Attraction Locations denied to him, Chris became more lonely and depressed than usual. In his diary he expressed an interest in asking "Santa Clause" for a girlfriend. According to emails leaked by [[Jackie]], Chris was completely serious and believed in Santa until he was ''24''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 2004</ref>

==[[Anna McLerran]]==
[[Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|thumb|''Too bad she's a lesbian.'']]
{{main|The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer}}

At some point in 2004 Chris had expanded his activities in the mall, including:

* Pacing around a lot, playing videos on his Game Boy Advance
* Shouting at walls, or "singing random songs from memory now and then"

He was apparently infamous to [[Anna McLerran]] and her friends by the time he finally worked up the nerve to enter the store where Anna worked to strike up a conversation with her. Anna handled herself as politely as she could while having zero interest in this idiot's pathetic romantic overtures, and apparently convinced him that she was off the market.

Despite becoming one of Chris's closest friends, Anna would later document the 2004 incident in a [[2006]] blog entry, confirming that, despite whatever good qualities she sees in Chris, deep down she knows he's a few hedgehogs short of a [[Chaotic Combo]].

==[[Hanna]]==

On 29 [[March 2005]] Chris (who had somehow regained full access to the mall) momentarily believed his prayers had been answered when he was approached by Hanna, a girl who worked at the local Starbucks. She invited Chris to have coffee with her. Chris quickly overreacted to this sudden reversal of fortune, calling his mother and showing Hanna his entire [[Sonichu Scrapbook]].

[[Anna McLerran]] later informed Chris that Hanna was simply trolling him for the [[lulz]]. In shock, Chris confronted Hanna and, when she admitted the truth, ran away screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!", exactly like they do in movies. The entire incident was a crippling blow to Chris's self-esteem and the kind of thing that would be embarrassing for anyone. He also apparently made enough of a scene to get himself banned from the mall again. Subsequently, Chris dramatized the whole story in [[Sub-Episode 2|one of his comics]], where he was able to get the last word in exactly the way he could not in real life.

==Conflicts with [[Manajerks]]==

Around [[June 2005]], with the mall becoming a more difficult place to pick up chicks, Chris turned to his local [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], where he would go to the in-store [[McDonald's]], set up his sign and various nerd amusements, and wait around for hours. On 20 June 2005 Chris was confronted by the men he identified as [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], who took issue with his sign and called the police on him. Chris hid the sign, effectively avoiding criminal charges, but he was banned from the McDonald's. He interpreted this to mean he was not banned from the Wal-Mart, however.

On 22 June Chris again came into conflict with the B-Manajerk over his [[Pixelblock]] sculptures, and the conflict drew the attention of the [[W-M-Manajerk]]. According to Chris, the Wal-Mart manager attempted to reason with him...

{{quote|But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [sic] to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|[[CWC's Diary#June 2005|CWC's Diary]], 22 [[June 2005]]}}

In [[July 2005|July]], Chris relocated to the newly-opened Charlottesville [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], where he quickly found himself in trouble for loitering once again. Chris refused to leave at first. When store employees returned with police officers (including [[Bagget]]), Chris offered to leave if they would listen to a prepared speech. According to Chris's account of the incident, five men then jumped on him and hogtied him without provocation; in reality, it's more likely that they saw he would not surrender and tried to arrest him peacefully, and he resisted to the point that they had to completely subdue him out of fear of his tard rage.

In the dramatization of these events in [[Sonichu 4]], the cops need nothing short of a giant robot to capture Chris, and his twin sister rescues him so that they can destroy the Jerkops' entire operation, which of course is commanded by Mary Lee Walsh from PVCC.

Chris has said that he was eventually cleared of all criminal charges related to the dispute at Target. It was apparently at this point that his mother, in a dazzling display of parental guidance, informed him about two years too late that the Attraction Sign made him look retarded.

==[[Megan Schroeder]]==
[[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|''Boyfriend-free no more!'']]

Chris met Megan Schroeder in the summer of 2005 and was immediately attracted by such qualities as her gender, her lack of a boyfriend and her willingness to talk to him for more than five minutes (although she compliments him for tolerating ''her''). In Chris's mind Megan was already destined to be his sweetheart, and the only thing left to do was convince Megan to accept this truth. The Love Quest was effectively on hold from this time until [[March 2008]]. All of Chris's writings during this time demonstrate that he believed he was already in a monogamous relationship with Megan and further Sweetheart Searching was largely unnecessary.

Aside from Megan's complete disinterest in romance with Chris, the relationship suffered other stumbling blocks, such as Megan's discomfort at Chris showering her with gifts; Megan's outrage over Chris's sexual harassment, hatred of men, and rampant homophobia; Megan's unwillingness to share a [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|hypothetical hotel room]] with Chris; and Megan's discovery that Chris had to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|draw himself fingerbanging her]] to suppress his fantasies of assaulting and raping her. Even though she reacted as any normal human being would in the same situation, he was still shocked that she "broke up" with him and thought that all he had to do was say "I'm sorry" as much as possible.

Encyclopedia Dramatica did not ruin Chris's relationship with Megan, but Chris's obsession with defeating ED definitely did, since his attempt to blow ED's mind by posting his [[Rule 34]] drawings caused her to discover what a deranged individual he truly is and break off all contact with him. Chris totally missed the point about the fingerbanging picture, believing that its continued presence on ED was the issue, and not the fact that he drew it in the first place. This contributed to his drive to shut the site down for much of 2008, until people on the [[Internet]] figured out the simplest way to troll him...
{{clear}}

==Internet Love Quest==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's image from [[The Hook Cafe]] profile.]]

After becoming an infamous lolcow thanks to his edit war with ED, Chris began to receive unexpected attention from attractive single women who loved his comics and totally weren't just looking to troll him. Since then, Chris has taken his Love Quest onto the internet, proclaiming that his true and honest sweetheart is whichever girl he's managed to pin down. He has even attempted appealing to [http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080804202349AA80xDL Yahoo answers] on how a [[Chris|'lonesome fella']] can attract a boyfriend-free-girl, going as far as mentioning his previous [[Attraction Sign|tactics]] and even [[Fail|asking his answerer to be his sweetheart]].

With each sweetheart he meets online Chris follows a predictable pattern, demonstrating what he had always intended to do with any woman he met in real life. He begins with a series of proclamations of his TRUE and HONEST love, and then begins planning out how the woman will travel to his home. Chris professes to believe in the rule that sex is out of the question until the [[third date]], but since he expects every romantic encounter to end in total success he makes it clear - in as gentlemanly a fashion as he can manage - that he expects sex at the woman's earliest convenience. Amazingly, as each successive internet gal pal proves to be a [[troll]], Chris becomes more devoted to the next one, to the point that within a month of meeting Ivy online he began planning his marriage to a woman he had never even seen face-to-face.

When addressing the question of why Chris readily takes each new troll at face value, his own mindset must be taken into consideration. Chris's prospects of finding a girl locally are virtually zero, and he knows this. At the same time, the internet seems (from his point of view) to be an endless cavalcade of single, attractive women who are fascinated with him, making it an irresistible resource in his Love Quest. By now Chris is fully aware that each woman he meets online ''could'' be a troll, but each time he readily accepts evidence that she is not and dismisses out of hand any suggestion that she is. He does this because he ''wants'' to believe she's real; the alternative is to surrender to despair.

==Returning to real life==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|''The [[Internet]] is so yesterday, Love Quest is always in.'']]

In Chris's final chat with [[Sarah May]] from early March 2009, he claimed that he planned to give up looking for a [[sweetheart]] online, and return to searching for a girl in local [[Charlottesville]]. [[Trolls]] everywhere rejoiced, for this could only mean one thing - a return to the fabled [[Attraction Sign]] and the days of his exploits against the [[Jerkops]] and his other IRL misadventures.

This effort only lasted so long, however. Chris's first attempt at a real-life date, with [[Emily]], ended in tragedy (for him) after the intervention of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. During the brief [[Rollin' and Trollin']] era in the early summer of 2009, Chris was allegedly spotted prowling Charlottesville Fashion Square in his ''[[Guitar Hero]]: Metallica'' tattoo sleeves, but it wasn't long before he gave up and retreated back to the internet.

In late [[October 2009]], after a long hiatus, the [[sweetheart]] cycle began again, with the advent of the incredibly disturbing [[I Love You Kacey]]. Chris initially found success in his campaign to pry Kacey away from her current boyfriend, [[Liquid Chris]], even managing to meet her in person on multiple occasions. Later, though, the relationship collapsed under the weight of Chris's bizarre and disturbing behavior.

The opening months of [[2010]] saw Chris land himself in romantic misadventures both in reality and online. He managed to pry himself out of his room for a while and in the process meet a real person, [[The Wallflower]]. Like Megan, however, she rebuffed all his attempts at a more-than-friendly relationship, and eventually cut off all contact with him. Meanwhile, one of his [[The Hook Cafe|online personal ads]] led to an [[Jackie e-mails|extended conversation]] with another potential sweetheart, but Chris tripped over his duck long before he ever got a chance to meet "Jackie" in real life.

==Beyond the 'Net==
Chris's stated ambition to [[100 2189|leave the internet forever]] suggests that he may return to looking for love in the real world. His visit to the Charlottesville [[Fridays After Five]] event in June 2010 featured a drastically shortened version of the old Attraction Sign scrawled across the front of his [[muscle bra|sports bra]].

Whether he'll stick with this approach remains to be seen, however. He has never been able to stay away from the internet for long, and it's hard to imagine that his current strategy for pulling girls in real life will work out very well for him.

Despite this, Chris believed he had found another way to attract females, this time via the [[Flipnote Hatena]], which is (despite being accessed on a DSi) [[fail|still on the internet]]. Between 17 June and 2 July of 2010, Chris ignored Flipnote Hatena's "family friendly" policies and attempted to use it like a dating site. A lot of Chris's tags towards the female members were flirtatious to a point, and he even [[For Women ONLY|made a Flipnote]] calling out to every woman he had tagged or tagged him. However, despite the trolls swarming in to attack, non-troll responses were made by girls he tagged, [[pedofork|most of whom were in their tweens to early teens]]. Because of this, Chris was permabanned, and must now find other means of attracting the boyfriend-free girls.

==Promotional Images==
During his Love Quest, Chris produced some "sexy" pictures to attract the ladies. Needless to say, it had an opposite effect.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0773-CWC23.JPG|You'll never guess what I just swallowed.
Image:0775-CWCCDPose.JPG|[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Way past cool!]]!
Image:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|Shredding some hot licks on my [[Guitar|gitar]]!!
Image:0777-CWConbed.JPG|I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU
Image:0778-CWCPin.JPG|Staring at the [[Sailor Moon poster]] while tanning.
Image:0779-CWCREAR.JPG|Baby got back!
Image:0780-CWCrelax.JPG|Are you craving my delicious inner thighs?
Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|I've been waiting for you...
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Attraction images]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Hard Love Quest]]
*[[Sweetheart]]
*[[Story of My Current Days]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Talk:Flipnote Hatena

2010-06-26T06:47:58Z

Sakanz:

Get all of chris's comments, save his flipnote bullshit creations

and uh

yeah. he favorited over 71 PAGES OF THESE FUCKING THINGS

[[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:42, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Archive of comments in progress. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:13, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016
Fuck, he knows we filmed him. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*By the way, it's page 22 of the comments.
:I disagree. This is not conclusive confirmation that he was aware of people filming him. He could easily be referring to previous times where people have witnessed him out and about (like the Michael Snyder incident). He may have suspected people were following him about there but we don't know if he was aware for sure. I sense we may get a new video soon. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:22, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

:*At least he didn't comment on all of them. I'm thinking get screencaps of everything he commented on and save his comments?
:* I've saved all his comment images and plan on uploading them shortly. I would guess we can just link what the image is replaying to in the gallery captions. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:35, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:* Uploaded - I had to change the format from the source GIFs since they don't play nicely with galleries. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 00:09, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
== jesus fffffffff ==
Chris has favorited over 2000 of these things. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:45, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*:Yeah, I'm not about to list those. It's pretty obvious he just hits favorite on everything he moderately likes. Still I guess I could skim them to see if any TRUE AND HONEST Sonichu fanart is in there.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 23:52, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== Holy mother of fuck, hahaha! ==

God, it's like this is all he did yesterday besides pretend the party was some kind of slo-mo rave to get underage girls at! --[[User:Eniggy|Enig-HAHAH]] 00:31, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Uh, hm. Yes, that is what happened. Thanks. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:33, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Chris has no hope of getting back to a normal life. The trolls are going to follow him and torment him until the day he dies, and he's unable to do a thing about it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 00:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

^ *Insert requiem for a dream music*--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 01:21, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Chris could very easily get back to a normal net life. The problem is, he can't help but be Chris. If he would stop signing everything and talking about himself in every post, he'd just be another guy on a forum. If you'll notice, most of his posts are either unfunny random humor that would be loss in the morass of the same or him shilling his custom content. Cut out the second and he'd fit right in. He'll never resist yelling about his Sonichu modkingdom or whatever custom thing he makes next because he's an idiot. On another note, Chris thinks that negative tone = lie given one of his quotes. I mean, no matter what sort of spin we put on it, that video of him humping a blow-up doll exists, no? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 01:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Chris doesn't seem to consider negative tone=lie. Rather, this is just an example of his tardlogic. When he says "EVERYTHING OUTSIDE THE PRE-HACKED CWCIPEDIA, MY OKCUPID PROFILE, AND MY YOUTUBE ACCOUNT IS A LIE", he expects everyone to simply ignore everything that is not on one of the sites.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:11, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
[[File:Troll Rage (Obama-style).PNG]] All five parts of it. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:38, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Sheep, man, you got this all wrong. Chris logic isn't as complex as 'negative tone = lie'. It's even more simple than that. It's 'something he disagrees with = lie'. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:05, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

And on a seperate note: Damn. You guys move fucking fast. How the hell do trolls find shit like this? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:08, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Don't tell Chris but there's a bug in his DSi. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:09, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::If that's true then DAMN does Clyde have moles in Sony ''and'' Nintendo?? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:13, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Clyde secretly is the real Shigeru Miyamoto. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:15, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

I have to agree with OFSheep, the problem with Chris is that he wants attention, and he has to PUT SONICHU EVERYWHERE, and stuff his ego into every orifice.
He will always have the unwanted attention, until he learns to stop attracting it. but he can't do that, just like chris will stop being called gay when he stops denying it by dressing up like a homo [[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 18:13, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

==Animation==
A crappy animation was just posted on Chris's FH profile, though it could be the work of trolls, so someone with more behind the scenes information should add this.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 17:38, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
*Wow, that's something an eight year old whose parents buy him twelve iPhones a year could do in a minute. I'm still waiting for Bob to finally ban him from the computer and the DSi. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:14, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
[[File:UltimateNightmareFlipnote.png|thumb|Just kinda weird, really.]]
::I dunno. It's crappy enough to be a Chris-Chan creation, but it seems like it's a step above him all the same. The whole "Really slow guy with annoying beep" is something Chris would probably consider a nightmare, sure, but I don't get why he would make this.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:51, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
::Fuck it, adding now.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:55, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
:: I'd say it's the work of trolls, compare the handwritting with the others, besides, the guy is standing on straight lines, an impossible feat for chris, and the video description is too elaborate to be chris's.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 20:01, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
*cries a bit* This is the most beautiful thing ever.... [[User:BabyNeko|BabyNeko]]
::: Do you think the trolls managed to hack into Chris's Flipnote Hatena account? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 20:09, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
:::: unless someone stole his DSi, this is chris. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:09, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
Holy fucking shit this is creepy. [[User:Pedonymous|Pedonymous]] 14:35, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
*Chris's autism just evolved to Ulillillia's level. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 18:22, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
:*I don't really think they're even close to eachother. Uilillillia's crazy, but he's the innocent sort of crazy.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:35, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
::Yes, but this just the kind of animation Ulillillia would make. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 21:39, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Not nearly enough parallax or supernaturality to be an Ulillillia animation. [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 22:21, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
*Does this remind anyone else of that Suicide Mouse video that /x/ put out there a while ago? Same concept, a thing walking on a loop with a weird, repetitive noise in the background. Except this is shitty and not creepy like the other one. ([[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 19:07, 22 June 2010 (UTC))
:*this one is also creepy, but mostly because of the annoying beep and emptyness.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 20:19, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
:**It's like David Lynch minus the artistic integrity/batshit insanity/baby puppet apparently made from a cow fetus. [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 22:21, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

==CWC Got Told==

[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D6047619382_000#535E907031CED2BB-c11539868617741172339 Comment #8] by Foxstar(id: Rashala) "Please do not post on my channel ever again". I'm looking to see what I can find that would cause him/her to say this. Anyone know?
:Nothing by foxstar is on Chris's comment list and I'm not about to go through a 3 pages and god only knows how many comments of furfag content trying to find a Chris comment that might not even exist. It's probably just some faggot begging for attention.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:29, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
::Because Chris linked his stupid video to her 4chan channel which has nothing to do with the ACTUAL 4chan since chris is a lazy so...yeah. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 15:38, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

== "Bill for Anti-Internet Bad Mouthing Campaign" ==

The "Bill" part of that just hit me. Chris wants to make talking bad about people on the internet illegal. Again.

I don't think it would be unreasonable to believe that he's gonna bring up this idea again sooner rather than later. If he does, new content for Chris and law.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:38, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

*Not only did that suck, but it was also just a quick mod to the original, much like Youtube Poops, which are still funnier than anything he's ever done. Also, [http://chrisisagaytrucker.ytmnd.com the GIF got YTMND'd.] --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 00:38, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

The really sad thing is, once again, the actual message goes completely over his head. The song basically says if you get trolled, you brought it upon yourself for being a naive retard. It's about personal responsibility, a concept alien and threatening to Chris. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 02:18, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

:Well I guess his "Internet Bad Mouthing Campaign" against the evil Mary Lee Walsh, this greedy Micheal Snyder, etc, doesn't count. He's above the law after all, of course. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 03:48, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

== New Flipnote Animation - "HippoOnYourHead" ==

Chris uploaded more random access humor on the flipnote, as evidenced [http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D7F00037B5A_000?in=user|here]http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Flipnote_Hatena&action=edit&section=6

He seems to be trying to garner ratings with his little plea at the end.
[[User:ScottBNickles|ScottBNickles]] 16:51, 24 June 2010 (UTC)ScottBNickles
:lolwut?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 16:55, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:<s>What does that message in the end mean? "Please add one green or a bunch of yellow" is that more RAH?</s> Disregard that, now i understand what it means.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 17:01, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::Where did he get "Buck Williams" from? [[User:ScottBNickles|ScottBNickles]] 17:14, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::A quick google search shows that buck williams is a basketball player and character from the Left Behind books. knowing chris' readin habits, i suppose he refers to the former.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 17:34, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::::I'm still wondering what inspired the hippo part and the letter. Possible ripoff of things he's seen on the internet or Flipnote Hanata? --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 18:05, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::[[Random-access humor]] He's been using the phrase for YEARS. he can't even have new original random access humor. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:19, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::::::I knew about that, but I have a feeling I've heard the hippo part somewhere before. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 18:27, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::::Regina E-mails. She actually calls him out on it, but he just sort of blows her off.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:05, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::::: @Eniggy Maybe Hungry Hungry Hippoes? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]
:::::::::Nah, never had one as a kid, but my memory is thinking it has to do with the internet. Then again, my brain's probably skewered the memory I had of it now, so I've probably forgotten and confused enough of it that I'll probably never figure out where I heard it from. Oh, well, that's life, I guess. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:23, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

Did Chris actually draw this? Cuz that animation is kinda...good [[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 03:54, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:Yes, but it looks like frames drawn in MS Paint. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 03:56, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

::Fuck,if Chris spent all the time he wasted on Sonichu doing shit like this he might actually have accomplished anything. I mean, it's not really anything of any quality but considering this is Chris, it's the motherfucking Mona Lisa. I mean...it actually looks like it was drawn by someone over six...-[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 04:01, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Additionally, the handwriting shown in the letter(Dear Sir blah blah) is actually kinda neat. Comparing that to Chris's usual handwriting which looks like he stuck a pencil up his ass and made like a dog with worms just makes me more skeptical as to whether this was done by Chris -[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 04:07, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Much like that stop-motion lego race video he made, if a Gameboy is his medium, he's a passable artist. What he fails at is sculpture, illustration, and singing/song writing. Too bad he's convinced himself he's a savant in all those things. --{User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 04:10, 25 June 2010(UTC)
:::Personally, I'm giving it two days until we discover where he ripped that off from or which troll made it for him. Chris can't write like a normal human being. Period. -[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 04:18, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::: Someone needs to make ripoffs of these, claim they're originals, and then accuse Chris of copying. And then an army of trolls needs to back the ripoffs up as the 'True and Honest' originals. -[[User:Inferno232|Inferno232]] 04:30, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
::::: It won't work. These things have upload dates on them. Our supposed originals would be uploaded later and would show it. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 12:48, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

== Youtube mirrors? ==

Chris's first two flipnotes could be summed up with a single screencap, and the troll song was just Chris vandalizing a few frames, but if the hippo thing is any indication, Chris has turned to his DS for all his fame-whore needs. It would be much easier to display this stuff if we could just compile them into youtube videos. Is it even possible to save these things?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:44, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oME_VeGVZo .--[[User:J0haely|J0haely]]19:13, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::brb making YouTube Poop of it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:03, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Awesome job with the videos, but I guess we need some new templates for Chris's animations. It seems to me that we'll be getting these instead of new videos for the immediate future.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:06, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::: Cool, but can you make one of the 8-Bit video? --[[User:Inferno232|Inferno232]] 6:11 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::<s>The original 8-bit or chris's plagiarism?</s> Disregard that. here's the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIHni4FDTK4 [[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 12:23, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

== 8-Bit ==
Has anyone told this poor man that an autistic manchild has bastardized his animation and used it in his own war against trolls? He should be given a link to the CWCki at the very least. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:42, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:I started an account to post on all his things, so I or Beat or someone else might have to do this.

EDIT: Just told 8-Bit in a post with a link to this article and the CWCki. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 22:29, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

:Good man! If we're lucky then this 8-Bit guy might be able to give us his say. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:49, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

::Especially since Chris is exactly the kind of person he's making fun of in his Don'tGetTrolled animation. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 06:47, 26 June 2010 (UTC)

== More Random Access Humor ==

http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D8A92F380B0_002?in=user

http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D8A97E15FBC_002?in=user

God, I can't understand what the fuck he's saying any of these. --[[User:MonkeySorski|MonkeySorski]] 15:34, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:I can tell you one thing... the "why'd you hit me" gag is from Drake and Josh. Moar plagiarizing! -[[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 19:39, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

::I'm pretty sure the whole thing is plagiarized --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 20:34, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Yep, he ripped off the late Charles M. Schlutz by stealing material from Peanuts. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:26, 26 June 2010 (UTC)
::::It's stolen verbatim: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHDnc19mHv0 --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 02:28, 26 June 2010 (UTC)

:Shouldn't Random Humor 1 and 2 be on the same page, since they are a continuation form each other.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 02:54, 26 June 2010 (UTC)

Mailbag 43

2010-06-24T23:31:21Z

Sakanz:

__NOTOC__'''Mailbag 43''' was uploaded onto the [[CWCipedia]] on 19 [[January 2010]] and answered on 21 January 2010. This is the first official [[Mailbag]] following [[Chris]]'s decree of no [[Asperchu]] letters.

Amongst this set of letters, we get another answer as to why Chris hates Asperchu, explains why he turned Asperchu into [[Mitch Sonichu]], he also tells a letter writer who calls him out on his Asperchu manifesto to go fuck himself and removes another letter that calls him out on his Christian overtones, especially how he made [[Ultra Sonichu]] into [[Jesus]].

Perhaps the most bizarre letter is his response to [[Evan]], where he claims that Simonchu (Evan's fictional character) has already attempted to convince [[Simonla]] to leave [[CWCville]]. In fact, he writes what amounts to a ([[Chris and writing|terrible]]) short story to justify his continued use of Simonla in his comic.

On 26 January 2010, Chris moved the letter telling the person to go fuck himself into the Rejected Mailbag.

==Answered==
==="Good Quality Hand-Drawn Work"===
{{Email|From: Apple Pie <effence@yahoo.ca>
Hi,

I find it strange that you think Asperchu is bad for swears and anti-religiousness when your favorite shows like [[South Park]] and [[Family Guy]] do the exact same thing. Please explain your logic.}}
{{EmailReply|It is because "Asperchu" is considered a parody to My Sonichu and Myself, and to have the comparisons between the two, it is a kick in the bells to have My Good Quality Hand-Drawn Work compared to such Gross Low-Class, Low-Resolution, Blocky-Style stuff like "Asperchu". And from that, I BLAME the artist, Alec Benson Leary, to force the characters into such shameful and distasteful acts. I do not blame the characters, because it is NOT Their fault that their "Director" directs them to do those things.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

===In which Chris defends Ultra Sonichus OPness===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Masaki Sumitani|Masaki Sumitani]] <Hadogei@gmail.com>

Hey, I hope you don't count this as an "Asperchu" question and delete this because it's not:

Some questions about the new pages: 1.) If Ultra Sonichu's powers include curing [[Asperger's Syndrome]], why don't you tell Ultra Sonichu to cure your [[autism]]? 2.) Why do you say that Asperchu/Mitch Sonichu needs a makeover, and that his glasses are terrible, when the outfit he was wearing is the same as one you own, and his [[glasses]] look like your glasses? 3.) Is Ultra Sonichu supposed to be a Christ-like figure? Isn't this kind of blasphemous since Sonichu is a Christian?

Thanks for answering!

Masaki Sumitani}}
{{EmailReply|1) It is a cartoon; it is not like I can summon him into Real Life and use the Chaotic Crystal Power to cure my Mental Block for Real. 2) If you were in Asperchu's situation where you were constantly drawn to LOOK and ACT retarded all the time, would you not want a Makeover to make you more confident, intelligent and such? 3) A Christian Individual, or ANYONE for that matter, has the capability to do such things in acts of generosity; it Does Not necessarily make that individual THE Jesus Christ. The [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] Considered Mine, the Original Sonichu, a Savior, because from the later-named Swift Sonichu, he had Foretold of the True Original coming to their Rescue and Aid. If you were rescued from a life-threatening situation, quick-as-a-flash, by someone, would you not consider that person A Savior or Hero? There is nothing "blasphemous" about the generous deed and act.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

===We can watch it ourselves, thanks.===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:List of recurring Monty Python's Flying Circus characters|Ken Shabby]] <spamspamspam@aol.com>

Dear Chris: What [[Monty Python]] sketch is your favorite? Mine is Eric Idle's "Storytime" sketch, which can be seen here:

http://tinyurl.com/ylmgwu4

I find it hilarious because I can't imagine what kind of sick pervert would put that kind of stuff in something intended for children.}}
{{EmailReply|I like the Parrot Sketch. "Look, Matey. This Parrot wouldn't VOOM if I put 4,000 volts through it. It's bleeding demised. It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more; it has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. It is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If he hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an Ex-Parrot. '''You have to complain until you're blue in the mouth to get your way around here'''."}}

===Surrrrrrrrrre...===
{{Email|From: Lars Underwood <kneelbeforelarsunderwood@aol.com>

Chris,

In the Sonichu comics you've drawn your Sonichus and Rosechus praying to you. Do the other citizens of CWCville pray to you, too? The reason I ask is that I'm trying to start a cult, and was wondering how you got people to see you as an all-powerful, Godlike figure. So far my cult is only my girlfriend and a couple of other kids at my high school, but I think that's pretty good for a senior. Any advice for a fellow cult leader?

Lars Underwood}}
{{EmailReply|You are mistaken, I have never drawn my Sonichus and Rosechus praying to ME; they pray to God and Jesus like everyone else. I do not care much for Cults, because they often lead towards a life-threatening situation often.}}

===Chris still hates the gays===
{{Email|From: David Price <dprice22@gmail.com>

Dear Christian,

I apologise for the earlier e-mail in which I enquired about Asperchu and completely overlooked your own talents.

Your recent comic pages, in which you provided a makeover for Asperchu to give him a new look as "Mitch Sonichu", has proved to me that you have your own unique skills and qualities. This makes you perfect for television! We're starting up a remake of a classic TV show in which young, style-setting gentlemen such as yourself give fashion pointers to volunteers.

If you would like to be on the lineup of the brand new, remade "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", please get in touch with me.}}
{{EmailReply|I heard that was a [[gay]] show, and I am Straight, so no thank you.}}

===Chris defends the makeovers===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:R. Dorothy Wayneright|Dot Wayneright]] <neg0t8r@paragoncity.net>

Greetings!

From your latest comic, I see you have cured Asperchu and ''Alec's (Unapproved) Recreation of your'' [[Chaotic Combo]]. I noticed that many of your characters were not happy with their names and role. It's a bold step for a writer to change ''someone else's'' characters around like that. ''However, I was surprised to see that not only did [[Bubbles Rosechu]] forget about [[Blake]] when her name changed to Kitty, but she also claims "she'd hit that," which implies she had a pickle! Has Bubbles always been a hermaphrodite or was this only since your Chaotic Remedy on her?''

Regards,
Dorothy Wayneright}}
''Chris added the first two italicized portions, and deleted the third one from the original letter.''
{{EmailReply|What I have done was only done to Alec's "version" of MY Electric-Hedgehogs; The Original Sonichus and Rosechus are STILL the way they are. Kitty was referring to that the madeover Asperchu, now Mitch Sonichu, looked very handsome.}}

===...Well, this is disturbing!===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>
Why do you think that putting in "evan.ip" in a computer will block
me? That's not even an IP address, that's just my name and the letters
"IP". Furthermore, you do it in your [[comic|COMIC]], not in real life. Do you
think CWCville actually exists or something?

Also take Simonla out of your comic.

-Evan}}
{{EmailReply|No. As a matter of fact, [[Chris and reality|YOUR Simonchu]] came to Cwcville while I was holding a Town Meeting, came up to Simonla (Simonchu's Sister) while The True [[Wild Sonichu]] was with Her. Simonchu told Simonla that you wanted her back home as quickly as possible. Simonla REFUSED Heavily; She is Very Happy in Cwcville, VA, rather than the [[Pickle|c***]]-shack known as "Ecgville". ([[CWCville|HOW IS THAT SO-CALLED CITY PRONOUNCED ANYWAY?]] It sounds like a very "Eckie" Ailment, possibly Cold-Like.) Simonchu uses force, yet Wild attacks him with his Razor Leaf and unleashed his grasp of her. Wild says, "The lady said that she does not want to return with you." Simonchu replies, "Listen, shock-breath, I'll quake you away in a rock's-throw." Wild says, "Well, before you can even throw a rock, I will have quick-as-a-flash Vine Whipped you, and launched you to fly back to your Villa of Eck." Wild launches his Vine Whip which was Super-Effective against Simonchu's Ground-Type body, and throws him back to that city in Minnesota.

Later, Simonchu reports to you that she refuses to return to you, and you realize that with MY G.D.C. Powers, you have to let it be and move on in peace in real life. I am the Great Director Chandler!

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==

===Go Fuck Yourself, too!===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, here's my response to your BLATANT CENSORSHIP and DENIAL OF FREE SPEECH in [[Mailbag 41]].

"1) Alec and his crew have No Right Whatsoever on MY original Sonichu/Rosechu Characters; I Never Ever Gave Him OR his crew ANY permission to use them At All."

Did Sega give you permission to use [[Sonic]] and Eggman? How about [[Nintendo]]? Did they let you use Giovanni or any [[Pokemon]]?

No. They didn't. The only way Sonichu can stay afloat is because it is a [[Parody|PARODY]]. And PARODIES do not need to ask permission.

"2) I never gave him permission to place ANY advertisements for his Low-Rate Work and Copycat Website; he bought [[Jack]] Thaddius out WRONGFULLY. I still Disapprove of his ads in any shape or form regardless of image content. "

You have no right to decide on this, the SysOp needs to keep the website up some how. And if it were not for her efforts, the website would have crashed by now.

I mean, she certainly cares about keeping the site up. You nearly got it destroyed when you stole from Coke and Fox.

"4) The Cwcipedia IS DESIGNED MAINLY FOR the Original Sonichus and Rosechus in and around Cwcville, [[Virginia]]; Alec and his blocky-drawn characters are in Minnesota, and therefore are NOT Associated Officially With Cwcipedia OR the world of Cwcville."

Blocky? Chris, perhaps you don't realize that half the time you can't keep the size of a character consistent. Body parts inflate and deflate at random and at one point a character went from square to spherical within the same page. Heck, people could write a book on your horrible drawings.

"5) At the time, I have done Comparison Drawing within the recent 12 pages I have drawn and uploaded between HIS drawing style and Mine. Obviously Mine is the Superior, because it is more pleasant to look at, and it was Hand-Drawn, versus Computer-Drawn which Alec and his crew have chosen for their media. Officially, I still have NO association with Alec at all, even after this short-time addition within the 10th Book."

Chris, you can't judge your drawing style and his because you're biased in your own favor.

I personally think Alec is a better artist. At least he always provides a goddamn background and doesn't textwall out of pure lazyness.

"7) From this day forward, Any and All future messages that DO NOT ADDRESS Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville, Myself (Christian Weston Chandler), or anything that is originated ONLY ON the Cwcipedia will be DELETED. ADDRESS ALL Asperchu inquires ONLY to Alec Benson Leary on HIS COPYCAT WEBSITE"

This relates to you, the comic, and how you can't draw. So yeah, if you delete this I'll know that you're lying out your ass. AGAIN.}}
{{EmailReply|You can go f*** yourself.}}

==Gone Forever==
===Chris will always be beautiful to someone===
{{Email|From: Mirko Calusic <sathael@hotmail.com>
Hi Chris! I have to say, even though Alec is a much better atist, I prefer your Sonichu over his Asperchu comic, because your comic supports the homosexual lifestyle. I understand that you've lost a bunch of fans, but I want you to know that the [[homos]]exual population will always support you. Heck, probably all the fans you have left are gay.

I have to admit, I find you very attractive. Often I've dreamt of your sweaty body pressing against mine. First I would suck your tiny cock and then I'd ram my manstaff up your butthole, all the while massaging your large soft breasts. Anyway, I thought you'd like to know about that.

I've drawn some fanart for you as well!

http://tinyurl.com/yftsew7}}

===The everlasting man===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Keith Chesterton|Gilbert Keith Chesterton]] <FaithfulMan@yahoo.com>

Dear Chris,

The creators of the award winning Evangelical Christian cartoon "Veggie Tales" were once interviewed about the nature of creating a Christian work of art with characters that were explicitly not human. Their response was actually very well-thought-out. They said that they took special time and effort to make sure that their adaptations of biblical stories emphasized what could be learned and applied to life though the passage, was nothing short of completely respectful to the book upon which they placed their faith, and was appropriate for very young children. They also spoke of their all-important rule #1:

'''Never''' would they depict Jesus as a vegetable.

It's not right, they said. Jesus is the son of God, the most important thing in our lives. The reason we're even doing this is to try and help others understand how important Jesus is. It doesn't matter that every other character is a plant byproduct, the setting and tone of the show are ultimately unimportant. Showing Jesus as anything less than what we believe him to be would be blasphemy.

And they're right! To put words in Jesus's mouth, to depict Jesus as he wasn't, to use his or God's holy name in vain, it's all blasphemy. Blasphemy's not like other sins like envy, lust, or wrath, it's wrong on two distinct levels. On one it's direct disrespect to your creator. One the other it hurts your credibility as a Christian. If a Christian blasphemes himself in public, or puts blasphemous things in the internet where everyone can see them, it becomes harder to take them seriously. If someone who's legitimately interested in accepting God into their life sees it, they'll likely think "I thought Christians were supposed to love God, but obviously it's all a lie, because someone who loved God wouldn't act that way."

Bearing all that in mind, why did you represent Jesus as an orange sonic the hedgehog?

Don't say you didn't. Issue 10, page 48. You even drew the tomb being cast open, just like when Jesus rose on the third day. "Hyper Sonichu" or whatever you call him appears with his arms spread (as though nailed to a crucifix) in a beam of light, while some sort of purple soldier kneels before him, in awe. For a few short pages, you had the gall to mock God, turning Jesus, a man without sin into a character that just a few pages ago toppled a building, killing hundreds. A character that spends all his time having sex with his wife or punching old women in the face.

I could understand an Atheist doing this as some sort of protest against Christian hypocrisy, but you claim to be a steadfast believer. So my question to you Chris is in what way could this possibly be considered a Christian piece of work, when you so blatantly mock God?

Sincerely,

G. Chesterson}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 43

2010-06-24T23:29:54Z

Sakanz:

__NOTOC__'''Mailbag 43''' was uploaded onto the [[CWCipedia]] on 19 [[January 2010]] and answered on 21 January 2010. This is the first official [[Mailbag]] following [[Chris]]'s decree of no [[Asperchu]] letters.

Amongst this set of letters, we get another answer as to why Chris hates Asperchu, explains why he turned Asperchu into [[Mitch Sonichu]], he also tells a letter writer who calls him out on his Asperchu manifesto to go fuck himself and removes another letter that calls him out on his Christian overtones, especially how he made [[Ultra Sonichu]] into [[Jesus]].

Perhaps the most bizarre letter is his response to [[Evan]], where he claims that Simonchu (Evan's fictional character) has already attempted to convince [[Simonla]] to leave [[CWCville]]. In fact, he writes what amounts to a ([[Chris and writing|terrible]]) short story to justify his continued use of Simonla in his comic.

On 26 January 2010, Chris moved the letter telling the person to go fuck himself into the Rejected Mailbag.

==Answered==
==="Good Quality Hand-Drawn Work"===
{{Email|From: Apple Pie <effence@yahoo.ca>
Hi,

I find it strange that you think Asperchu is bad for swears and anti-religiousness when your favorite shows like [[South Park]] and [[Family Guy]] do the exact same thing. Please explain your logic.}}
{{EmailReply|It is because "Asperchu" is considered a parody to My Sonichu and Myself, and to have the comparisons between the two, it is a kick in the bells to have My Good Quality Hand-Drawn Work compared to such Gross Low-Class, Low-Resolution, Blocky-Style stuff like "Asperchu". And from that, I BLAME the artist, Alec Benson Leary, to force the characters into such shameful and distasteful acts. I do not blame the characters, because it is NOT Their fault that their "Director" directs them to do those things.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

===In which Chris defends Ultra Sonichus OPness===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Masaki Sumitani|Masaki Sumitani]] <Hadogei@gmail.com>

Hey, I hope you don't count this as an "Asperchu" question and delete this because it's not:

Some questions about the new pages: 1.) If Ultra Sonichu's powers include curing [[Asperger's Syndrome]], why don't you tell Ultra Sonichu to cure your [[autism]]? 2.) Why do you say that Asperchu/Mitch Sonichu needs a makeover, and that his glasses are terrible, when the outfit he was wearing is the same as one you own, and his [[glasses]] look like your glasses? 3.) Is Ultra Sonichu supposed to be a Christ-like figure? Isn't this kind of blasphemous since Sonichu is a Christian?

Thanks for answering!

Masaki Sumitani}}
{{EmailReply|1) It is a cartoon; it is not like I can summon him into Real Life and use the Chaotic Crystal Power to cure my Mental Block for Real. 2) If you were in Asperchu's situation where you were constantly drawn to LOOK and ACT retarded all the time, would you not want a Makeover to make you more confident, intelligent and such? 3) A Christian Individual, or ANYONE for that matter, has the capability to do such things in acts of generosity; it Does Not necessarily make that individual THE Jesus Christ. The [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] Considered Mine, the Original Sonichu, a Savior, because from the later-named Swift Sonichu, he had Foretold of the True Original coming to their Rescue and Aid. If you were rescued from a life-threatening situation, quick-as-a-flash, by someone, would you not consider that person A Savior or Hero? There is nothing "blasphemous" about the generous deed and act.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

===We can watch it ourselves, thanks.===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:List of recurring Monty Python's Flying Circus characters|Ken Shabby]] <spamspamspam@aol.com>

Dear Chris: What [[Monty Python]] sketch is your favorite? Mine is Eric Idle's "Storytime" sketch, which can be seen here:

http://tinyurl.com/ylmgwu4

I find it hilarious because I can't imagine what kind of sick pervert would put that kind of stuff in something intended for children.}}
{{EmailReply|I like the Parrot Sketch. "Look, Matey. This Parrot wouldn't VOOM if I put 4,000 volts through it. It's bleeding demised. It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more; it has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. It is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If he hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an Ex-Parrot. '''You have to complain until you're blue in the mouth to get your way around here'''."}}

===Surrrrrrrrrre...===
{{Email|From: Lars Underwood <kneelbeforelarsunderwood@aol.com>

Chris,

In the Sonichu comics you've drawn your Sonichus and Rosechus praying to you. Do the other citizens of CWCville pray to you, too? The reason I ask is that I'm trying to start a cult, and was wondering how you got people to see you as an all-powerful, Godlike figure. So far my cult is only my girlfriend and a couple of other kids at my high school, but I think that's pretty good for a senior. Any advice for a fellow cult leader?

Lars Underwood}}
{{EmailReply|You are mistaken, I have never drawn my Sonichus and Rosechus praying to ME; they pray to God and Jesus like everyone else. I do not care much for Cults, because they often lead towards a life-threatening situation often.}}

===Chris still hates the gays===
{{Email|From: David Price <dprice22@gmail.com>

Dear Christian,

I apologise for the earlier e-mail in which I enquired about Asperchu and completely overlooked your own talents.

Your recent comic pages, in which you provided a makeover for Asperchu to give him a new look as "Mitch Sonichu", has proved to me that you have your own unique skills and qualities. This makes you perfect for television! We're starting up a remake of a classic TV show in which young, style-setting gentlemen such as yourself give fashion pointers to volunteers.

If you would like to be on the lineup of the brand new, remade "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", please get in touch with me.}}
{{EmailReply|I heard that was a [[gay]] show, and I am Straight, so no thank you.}}

===Chris defends the makeovers===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:R. Dorothy Wayneright|Dot Wayneright]] <neg0t8r@paragoncity.net>

Greetings!

From your latest comic, I see you have cured Asperchu and ''Alec's (Unapproved) Recreation of your'' [[Chaotic Combo]]. I noticed that many of your characters were not happy with their names and role. It's a bold step for a writer to change ''someone else's'' characters around like that. ''However, I was surprised to see that not only did [[Bubbles Rosechu]] forget about [[Blake]] when her name changed to Kitty, but she also claims "she'd hit that," which implies she had a pickle! Has Bubbles always been a hermaphrodite or was this only since your Chaotic Remedy on her?''

Regards,
Dorothy Wayneright}}
''Chris added the first two italicized portions, and deleted the third one from the original letter.''
{{EmailReply|What I have done was only done to Alec's "version" of MY Electric-Hedgehogs; The Original Sonichus and Rosechus are STILL the way they are. Kitty was referring to that the madeover Asperchu, now Mitch Sonichu, looked very handsome.}}

===...Well, this is disturbing!===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>
Why do you think that putting in "evan.ip" in a computer will block
me? That's not even an IP address, that's just my name and the letters
"IP". Furthermore, you do it in your [[comic|COMIC]], not in real life. Do you
think CWCville actually exists or something?

Also take Simonla out of your comic.

-Evan}}
{{EmailReply|No. As a matter of fact, [[Chris and reality|YOUR Simonchu]] came to Cwcville while I was holding a Town Meeting, came up to Simonla (Simonchu's Sister) while The True [[Wild Sonichu]] was with Her. Simonchu told Simonla that you wanted her back home as quickly as possible. Simonla REFUSED Heavily; She is Very Happy in Cwcville, VA, rather than the c***-shack known as "Ecgville". ([[CWCville|HOW IS THAT SO-CALLED CITY PRONOUNCED ANYWAY?]] It sounds like a very "Eckie" Ailment, possibly Cold-Like.) Simonchu uses force, yet Wild attacks him with his Razor Leaf and unleashed his grasp of her. Wild says, "The lady said that she does not want to return with you." Simonchu replies, "Listen, shock-breath, I'll quake you away in a rock's-throw." Wild says, "Well, before you can even throw a rock, I will have quick-as-a-flash Vine Whipped you, and launched you to fly back to your Villa of Eck." Wild launches his Vine Whip which was Super-Effective against Simonchu's Ground-Type body, and throws him back to that city in Minnesota.

Later, Simonchu reports to you that she refuses to return to you, and you realize that with MY G.D.C. Powers, you have to let it be and move on in peace in real life. I am the Great Director Chandler!

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==

===Go Fuck Yourself, too!===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, here's my response to your BLATANT CENSORSHIP and DENIAL OF FREE SPEECH in [[Mailbag 41]].

"1) Alec and his crew have No Right Whatsoever on MY original Sonichu/Rosechu Characters; I Never Ever Gave Him OR his crew ANY permission to use them At All."

Did Sega give you permission to use [[Sonic]] and Eggman? How about [[Nintendo]]? Did they let you use Giovanni or any [[Pokemon]]?

No. They didn't. The only way Sonichu can stay afloat is because it is a [[Parody|PARODY]]. And PARODIES do not need to ask permission.

"2) I never gave him permission to place ANY advertisements for his Low-Rate Work and Copycat Website; he bought [[Jack]] Thaddius out WRONGFULLY. I still Disapprove of his ads in any shape or form regardless of image content. "

You have no right to decide on this, the SysOp needs to keep the website up some how. And if it were not for her efforts, the website would have crashed by now.

I mean, she certainly cares about keeping the site up. You nearly got it destroyed when you stole from Coke and Fox.

"4) The Cwcipedia IS DESIGNED MAINLY FOR the Original Sonichus and Rosechus in and around Cwcville, [[Virginia]]; Alec and his blocky-drawn characters are in Minnesota, and therefore are NOT Associated Officially With Cwcipedia OR the world of Cwcville."

Blocky? Chris, perhaps you don't realize that half the time you can't keep the size of a character consistent. Body parts inflate and deflate at random and at one point a character went from square to spherical within the same page. Heck, people could write a book on your horrible drawings.

"5) At the time, I have done Comparison Drawing within the recent 12 pages I have drawn and uploaded between HIS drawing style and Mine. Obviously Mine is the Superior, because it is more pleasant to look at, and it was Hand-Drawn, versus Computer-Drawn which Alec and his crew have chosen for their media. Officially, I still have NO association with Alec at all, even after this short-time addition within the 10th Book."

Chris, you can't judge your drawing style and his because you're biased in your own favor.

I personally think Alec is a better artist. At least he always provides a goddamn background and doesn't textwall out of pure lazyness.

"7) From this day forward, Any and All future messages that DO NOT ADDRESS Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville, Myself (Christian Weston Chandler), or anything that is originated ONLY ON the Cwcipedia will be DELETED. ADDRESS ALL Asperchu inquires ONLY to Alec Benson Leary on HIS COPYCAT WEBSITE"

This relates to you, the comic, and how you can't draw. So yeah, if you delete this I'll know that you're lying out your ass. AGAIN.}}
{{EmailReply|You can go f*** yourself.}}

==Gone Forever==
===Chris will always be beautiful to someone===
{{Email|From: Mirko Calusic <sathael@hotmail.com>
Hi Chris! I have to say, even though Alec is a much better atist, I prefer your Sonichu over his Asperchu comic, because your comic supports the homosexual lifestyle. I understand that you've lost a bunch of fans, but I want you to know that the [[homos]]exual population will always support you. Heck, probably all the fans you have left are gay.

I have to admit, I find you very attractive. Often I've dreamt of your sweaty body pressing against mine. First I would suck your tiny cock and then I'd ram my manstaff up your butthole, all the while massaging your large soft breasts. Anyway, I thought you'd like to know about that.

I've drawn some fanart for you as well!

http://tinyurl.com/yftsew7}}

===The everlasting man===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Keith Chesterton|Gilbert Keith Chesterton]] <FaithfulMan@yahoo.com>

Dear Chris,

The creators of the award winning Evangelical Christian cartoon "Veggie Tales" were once interviewed about the nature of creating a Christian work of art with characters that were explicitly not human. Their response was actually very well-thought-out. They said that they took special time and effort to make sure that their adaptations of biblical stories emphasized what could be learned and applied to life though the passage, was nothing short of completely respectful to the book upon which they placed their faith, and was appropriate for very young children. They also spoke of their all-important rule #1:

'''Never''' would they depict Jesus as a vegetable.

It's not right, they said. Jesus is the son of God, the most important thing in our lives. The reason we're even doing this is to try and help others understand how important Jesus is. It doesn't matter that every other character is a plant byproduct, the setting and tone of the show are ultimately unimportant. Showing Jesus as anything less than what we believe him to be would be blasphemy.

And they're right! To put words in Jesus's mouth, to depict Jesus as he wasn't, to use his or God's holy name in vain, it's all blasphemy. Blasphemy's not like other sins like envy, lust, or wrath, it's wrong on two distinct levels. On one it's direct disrespect to your creator. One the other it hurts your credibility as a Christian. If a Christian blasphemes himself in public, or puts blasphemous things in the internet where everyone can see them, it becomes harder to take them seriously. If someone who's legitimately interested in accepting God into their life sees it, they'll likely think "I thought Christians were supposed to love God, but obviously it's all a lie, because someone who loved God wouldn't act that way."

Bearing all that in mind, why did you represent Jesus as an orange sonic the hedgehog?

Don't say you didn't. Issue 10, page 48. You even drew the tomb being cast open, just like when Jesus rose on the third day. "Hyper Sonichu" or whatever you call him appears with his arms spread (as though nailed to a crucifix) in a beam of light, while some sort of purple soldier kneels before him, in awe. For a few short pages, you had the gall to mock God, turning Jesus, a man without sin into a character that just a few pages ago toppled a building, killing hundreds. A character that spends all his time having sex with his wife or punching old women in the face.

I could understand an Atheist doing this as some sort of protest against Christian hypocrisy, but you claim to be a steadfast believer. So my question to you Chris is in what way could this possibly be considered a Christian piece of work, when you so blatantly mock God?

Sincerely,

G. Chesterson}}

{{Mailbag}}

Sonichu and Rosechu's children

2010-06-24T23:21:14Z

Sakanz:

[[Image:Sr_kids.JPG|thumb|388px|right|From left to right: '''Cerah''', '''Christine''', '''Robbie.''']]
'''Cerah''' (sometimes spelled '''Cera'''), '''Christine''' and '''Robbie''' are the [[Chris and Sex#Incest|inbred]] children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. Cerah is the oldest, followed by Christine, and finally Robbie.<ref name=married>[[Sonichu#Married Life and Children]]</ref>

They are identified by their whiny, high-pitched voices and irritating [[speech impediment]]s. It is notable that to date Sonichu or Rosechu have not been seen spending time with a child of the opposite gender. Rosechu spends large amounts of time with Cera and Christine [[Women's rights|in the kitchen]], while Sonichu and Robbie do manly activities such as gazing into each others' eyes.

The children are widely hated by '''everybody''', even more so than the other characters. They make ''[[wikipedia:The Brood|The Brood]]'' look adorable and charming.

==Appearances==

[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|left|Sonichu: The comic that's not afraid to tackle child molestation.]]
[[Image:Thisemotionyoucallwuvconfusesandinfuriatesus.jpg|thumb|right|The only insectivore that will ever wuv Chris.]]

The kids' most prominent appearance to date is in the sign Chris drew to show his support for [[McIntire Park]]. They've also been seen in a one-page insert in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' Issue 9]], as well as begetting a quick mention on page 41 of the same issue. They spend the rest of their time being watched over by their Spanish [[lesbian]] nanny, [[Heather Iglesias]], while their neglectful parents waste time trying to assist their [[Chris|hideous father]] in his quest for [[Sonichu Balls|balls]].

The little shits end almost every statement with "Yay!". It should be noted that this is how [[Chris]] talks, not how ''children'' talk. They are also known for their creepy, blank expressions and soul-less eyes.

The hellish abominations spawned from Rosechu's [[China|loins]] have also appeared in [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]], and in [[Sonichu 11]]. Sonichu 11 is where Chris started making comics of said Christmas Story. Here we learn that Christine is no longer a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]], and Robbie replaces his R's with W's while speaking in an effort to be as saccharine and grating as possible. However, this could be interpreted as a way of Chris trying to pass of the extremely complex dialogue Robbie has as something a child would say, you know, because he's making malapropisms like those [[wikipedia:Family Circus|melon-headed kids in the funnies]]. Cera (formerly Cerah) breaks the fourth wall to say "I wuv you!" to Chris.

Robbie makes a brief appearance in [[Sonichu 10]], describing an incident which involved him pissing on a lizard. Needless to say, [[Patti-Chan|cruelty to animals]] is one of the early signs of a [[Death threats|potential psychopath]].

==Evolution==

If we take what Chris said in his [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|"business presentation"]] as canon, happiness/[[Gal-pal|friendship]] is a major factor in the development of sonees and roseys. This, of course, raises the question of ''why'' these little fuckers haven't evolved and joined the legion of one dimensional sideshow attractions in [[Sonichu]]. The logical conclusion is that they are both [[Chandler Cats|mistreated]] and [[Chris|friendless]]. Given that [[Sandy]] evolved in a week after the [[Sonichu 10| toilet-related death of the mother she never knew]], the level of abuse would have to be [[Sonichu_10#Forgiveness....3F| extreme violence]] or [[Rape|sexual assault]]. Still, since Chris has been known to rip off [[Pokemon]] mechanics on a whim, he could claim that the children are under the affects of an Everstone, which would prevent them from evolving. That, of course, raises the question:

''[[Pedofork|Why are Sonichu and Rosechu keeping their children in an everlasting childhood?]]''

==Shiny==
Christine is a "Shining Rosey" according to Chris.<ref name=married /> Unsurprisingly, Chris has, yet again, ripped off an element of ''[[Pokémon]]'' canon (in the games, a Pokémon that has a different coloration from what is usual for its species is considered to be "shiny"), because Chris lives, breathes, eats, and shits Pokémon. Chris also seems to believe that [[trolls|his readers]] are also Pokéfags like him, because he assumes that everyone understands what the term "shiny" means, and thus neglects to elaborate any further.

It is impossible for Christine to actually be "Shiny"--if we are to assume that pink is the normal color for a Rosey and purple is the "shiny" version, then that fails to explain why Sandy was initially white. This naturally casts her parentage into doubt.

It is believed that Sonichu and Rosechu claim Christine is a shiny to hide the fact her real father is either [[Magi-chan]] or [[Darkbind]], which would explain her distinct purple coloring. Darkbind is often considered to be a more likely candidate, with Magi-Chan's obvious [[Homos|homosexuality]] in mind. However, given the [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|possibility]] that Rosechu may indeed be a [[Silvana|hermaphrodite]], it is not entirely inconceivable that she and the lavender wonder got drunk one night at a bar and accidentally got knocked up with this little bundle of [[fail|joy]]. Hell, maybe Rosechu is both the mother ''and'' the father.

It's also possible that Christine is in fact the daughter of [[Chris and Sex#Bestiality|Chris and Rosechu]]. Chris's hedgehog form is blue, and pink is a kind of red. Combine the two and you get purple. Chris is also an apathetic psychic, so it's not unlikely that he wiped or altered Rosechu's memory of the event. Most damning of all is the fact that when uploading images to the CWCipedia for the character bios, he mistyped "ChristineRosey.jpg" as "''Crystal''Rosey.jpg", suggesting that he at the very least sees her as a daughter and at the most another sue for Crystal.

In [[A Sonichu Day|Chris's live-action production of a day in the life of Sonichu]], Rosechu extolled the virtues of Christine's shiny nature, implying, if not outright stating a bad case of parental favoritism. It's unknown if Rosechu loves Christine more than her other children because she's more valuable, or if it's because Christine is the only reminder she has of her forbidden affair with Christine's real father. At any rate, Rosechu seems perfectly happy to pander to Christine's bare-faced arrogance like the disgusting sycophant she is.

==Fan art==
[[Image:Robbieisadick.jpg|thumb|right|The ugly truth.]][[Image:Robbiesonee.png|thumb|left|Isn't he cute?]]

The children of Sonichu and Rosechu are also a [[:Category:Guro|popular subject]] for fan art. In August, 2009, a large volume of art depicting Sonichu and Rosechu's [[Sex#Pedophilia|frolicking]] children was emailed to Chris. [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|He did not appreciate it,]] for some odd reason. Ironically, in a later comic, he all but confirmed this art as canon with the strong implication that Christine is not a virgin, most likely deflowered by Sonichu himself.

==Interpretation==
It is clear through Chris's portrayal of the kids that he believes all children to be perfect little angels; Cera, Christine, and Robbie are all very pleasant and agreeable kids who enjoy spending time with and helping out their parents. Any of the alarming things they have done (such as the hint at rape or the urination on a lizard) were clearly intended by Chris to be endearing, and not as disturbing as they really were. The children are never shown misbehaving, throwing tantrums, or doing any of the less-than-wonderful things that anyone who has spent even five minutes with a child knows that they are prone to doing. This clearly demonstrates yet another facet of Chris's [[naïve|naïveté]] about the world. It's a good thing [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] will never be born, because Chris would be in for quite a surprise...
{{-}}

[[File:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg|thumb|Evidence that even Robbie is (yet another) Mary Sue]]

Perhaps it's very telling that there is only one Sonee in the second generation of sonichus ([[Sandy]] included) and all the rest are female. It is even more telling that Robbie is supposed to be the avatar for Chris's childhood; this confirms the idea that Chris hates all [[JERKS|men]] (besides himself and [[JERKS#The_list_of_males_Chris_doesn't_hate|a few others]], most notably Robbie's namesake, [[Bob]]), and now it seems to apply to children as well. This should come as no surprise, given that he had mostly [[gal-pals|female friends]] growing up. Therefore, Christine is obviously [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], the sister he wishes he had as well as the daughter he will never have, and Cerah [[Sarah Hammer]], the friend he couldn't keep. The fact that he was able to see Ms. Hammer as both sister and love interest is frankly [[Sex#Incest|alarming]].

This is also probably why he wrote them being fixed in their child forms. Each of them are supposed to represent his lost childhood, thus by keeping them in [http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neverland NeverLand], that part of his life will live on forever. Since Roseys and Sonees are Chris' personification of innocence and happiness, his [[CWC Update 12 August 2009|reaction]] to fanworks depicting them in [[Guro|obscene situations]] is to be expected. While he has no shame in showing his "grown up" creations in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|all manner of sexual situations]], even those who are [[Zapina|underage]], Chris will get as upset as he does when troll suggest Rosechu has a penis or that Sonichu is gay. The logic behind this (if logic can be associated with Chris) is that Rosechu is his ideal of femininity while Sonichu is his ideal of masculinity. Any insinuation otherwise, because Chris [[Chris_and_reality#Fantasy_and_Fiction|believes fiction is real]], throws his worldview into disarray. So, by drawing Robbie being raped, to Chris you are ''literally'' raping his childhood!

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also:==
*[[Sonee & Rosey]]
*[[Sonichu]]
*[[Rosechu]]
*[[Guro]]
*[[CWC Update 12 August 2009]], in which Chris addresses the former.
*[[A Sonichu Day]] The first time the little abominations ever spoke
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]
*[[Fan:A Very Sonichu Adventure|A Very Sonichu Adventure]]
* Wikipedia article on ''[[wikipedia:The Lurking Fear|The Lurking Fear]]''

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Sonichu and Rosechu's children

2010-06-24T23:14:52Z

Sakanz:

[[Image:Sr_kids.JPG|thumb|388px|right|From left to right: '''Cerah''', '''Christine''', '''Robbie.''']]
'''Cerah''' (sometimes spelled '''Cera'''), '''Christine''' and '''Robbie''' are the [[Chris and Sex#Incest|inbred]] children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. Cerah is the oldest, followed by Christine, and finally Robbie.<ref name=married>[[Sonichu#Married Life and Children]]</ref>

They are identified by their whiny, high-pitched voices and irritating [[speech impediment]]s. It is notable that to date Sonichu or Rosechu have not been seen spending time with a child of the opposite gender. Rosechu spends large amounts of time with Cera and Christine [[Women's rights|in the kitchen]], while Sonichu and Robbie do manly activities such as gazing into each others' eyes.

The children are widely hated by '''everybody''', even more so than the other characters. They make ''[[wikipedia:The Brood|The Brood]]'' look adorable and charming.

==Appearances==

[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|left|Sonichu: The comic that's not afraid to tackle child molestation.]]
[[Image:Thisemotionyoucallwuvconfusesandinfuriatesus.jpg|thumb|right|The only insectivore that will ever wuv Chris.]]

The kids' most prominent appearance to date is in the sign Chris drew to show his support for [[McIntire Park]]. They've also been seen in a one-page insert in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' Issue 9]], as well as begetting a quick mention on page 41 of the same issue. They spend the rest of their time being watched over by their Spanish [[lesbian]] nanny, [[Heather Iglesias]], while their neglectful parents waste time trying to assist their [[Chris|hideous father]] in his quest for [[Sonichu Balls|balls]].

The little shits end almost every statement with "Yay!". It should be noted that this is how [[Chris]] talks, not how ''children'' talk. They are also known for their creepy, blank expressions.

The hellish abominations spawned from Rosechu's [[China|loins]] have also appeared in [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]], and in [[Sonichu 11]]. Sonichu 11 is where Chris started making comics of said Christmas Story. Here we learn that Christine is no longer a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]], and Robbie replaces his R's with W's while speaking in an effort to be as saccharine and grating as possible. However, this could be interpreted as a way of Chris trying to pass of the extremely complex dialogue Robbie has as something a child would say, you know, because he's making malapropisms like those [[wikipedia:Family Circus|melon-headed kids in the funnies]]. Cera (formerly Cerah) breaks the fourth wall to say "I wuv you!" to Chris.

Robbie makes a brief appearance in [[Sonichu 10]], describing an incident which involved him pissing on a lizard. Needless [[Patti-Chan|cruelty to animals]] is one of the early signs of a [[Christian Weston Chandler|potential psychopath]].

==Evolution==

If we take what Chris said in his [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|"business presentation"]] as canon, happiness/[[Gal-pal|friendship]] is a major factor in the development of sonees and roseys. This, of course, raises the question of ''why'' these little fuckers haven't evolved and joined the legion of one dimensional sideshow attractions in [[Sonichu]]. The logical conclusion is that they are both [[Patti-chan|mistreated]] and [[Chris|friendless]]. Given that [[Sandy]] evolved in a week after the [[Sonichu 10| toilet-related death of the mother she never knew]], the level of abuse would have to be [[Death threats| extreme violence]] or [[Rape|sexual assault]]. Still, since Chris has been known to rip off [[Pokemon]] mechanics on a whim, he could claim that the children are under the affects of an Everstone, which would prevent them from evolving. That, of course, raises the question:

''[[Pedofork|Why are Sonichu and Rosechu keeping their children in an everlasting childhood?]]''

==Shiny==
Christine is a "Shining Rosey" according to Chris.<ref name=married /> Unsurprisingly, Chris has, yet again, ripped off an element of ''[[Pokémon]]'' canon (in the games, a Pokémon that has a different coloration from what is usual for its species is considered to be "shiny"), because Chris lives, breathes, eats, and shits Pokémon. Chris also seems to believe that [[trolls|his readers]] are also Pokéfags like him, because he assumes that everyone understands what the term "shiny" means, and thus neglects to elaborate any further.

It is impossible for Christine to actually be "Shiny"--if we are to assume that pink is the normal color for a Rosey and purple is the "shiny" version, then that fails to explain why Sandy was initially white. This naturally casts her parentage into doubt.

It is believed that Sonichu and Rosechu claim Christine is a shiny to hide the fact her real father is either [[Magi-chan]] or [[Darkbind]], which would explain her distinct purple coloring. Darkbind is often considered to be a more likely candidate, with Magi-Chan's obvious [[Homos|homosexuality]] in mind. However, given the [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|possibility]] that Rosechu may indeed be a [[Silvana|hermaphrodite]], it is not entirely inconceivable that she and the lavender wonder got drunk one night at a bar and accidentally got knocked up with this little bundle of [[fail|joy]]. Hell, maybe Rosechu is both the mother ''and'' the father.

It's also possible that Christine is in fact the daughter of [[Chris and Sex#Bestiality|Chris and Rosechu]]. Chris's hedgehog form is blue, and pink is a kind of red. Combine the two and you get purple. Chris is also an apathetic psychic, so it's not unlikely that he wiped or altered Rosechu's memory of the event. Most damning of all is the fact that when uploading images to the CWCipedia for the character bios, he mistyped "ChristineRosey.jpg" as "''Crystal''Rosey.jpg", suggesting that he at the very least sees her as a daughter and at the most another sue for Crystal.

In [[A Sonichu Day|Chris's live-action production of a day in the life of Sonichu]], Rosechu extolled the virtues of Christine's shiny nature, implying, if not outright stating a bad case of parental favoritism. It's unknown if Rosechu loves Christine more than her other children because she's more valuable, or if it's because Christine is the only reminder she has of her forbidden affair with Christine's real father. At any rate, Rosechu seems perfectly happy to pander to Christine's bare-faced arrogance like the disgusting sycophant she is.

==Fan art==
[[Image:Robbieisadick.jpg|thumb|right|The ugly truth.]][[Image:Robbiesonee.png|thumb|left|Isn't he cute?]]

The children of Sonichu and Rosechu are also a [[:Category:Guro|popular subject]] for fan art. In August, 2009, a large volume of art depicting Sonichu and Rosechu's [[Sex#Pedophilia|frolicking]] children was emailed to Chris. [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|He did not appreciate it,]] for some odd reason. Ironically, in a later comic, he all but confirmed this art as canon with the strong implication that Christine is not a virgin, most likely deflowered by Sonichu himself.

==Interpretation==
It is clear through Chris's portrayal of the kids that he believes all children to be perfect little angels; Cera, Christine, and Robbie are all very pleasant and agreeable kids who enjoy spending time with and helping out their parents. Any of the alarming things they have done (such as the hint at rape or the urination on a lizard) were clearly intended by Chris to be endearing, and not as disturbing as they really were. The children are never shown misbehaving, throwing tantrums, or doing any of the less-than-wonderful things that anyone who has spent even five minutes with a child knows that they are prone to doing. This clearly demonstrates yet another facet of Chris's [[naïve|naïveté]] about the world. It's a good thing [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] will never be born, because Chris would be in for quite a surprise...
{{-}}

[[File:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg|thumb|Evidence that even Robbie is (yet another) Mary Sue]]

Perhaps it's very telling that there is only one Sonee in the second generation of sonichus ([[Sandy]] included) and all the rest are female. It is even more telling that Robbie is supposed to be the avatar for Chris's childhood; this confirms the idea that Chris hates all [[JERKS|men]] (besides himself and [[JERKS#The_list_of_males_Chris_doesn't_hate|a few others]], most notably Robbie's namesake, [[Bob]]), and now it seems to apply to children as well. This should come as no surprise, given that he had mostly [[gal-pals|female friends]] growing up. Therefore, Christine is obviously [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], the sister he wishes he had as well as the daughter he will never have, and Cerah [[Sarah Hammer]], the friend he couldn't keep. The fact that he was able to see Ms. Hammer as both sister and love interest is frankly [[Sex#Incest|alarming]].

This is also probably why he wrote them being fixed in their child forms. Each of them are supposed to represent his lost childhood, thus by keeping them in [http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neverland NeverLand], that part of his life will live on forever. Since Roseys and Sonees are Chris' personification of innocence and happiness, his [[CWC Update 12 August 2009|reaction]] to fanworks depicting them in [[Guro|obscene situations]] is to be expected. While he has no shame in showing his "grown up" creations in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|all manner of sexual situations]], even those who are [[Zapina|underage]], Chris will get as upset as he does when troll suggest Rosechu has a penis or that Sonichu is gay. The logic behind this (if logic can be associated with Chris) is that Rosechu is his ideal of femininity while Sonichu is his ideal of masculinity. Any insinuation otherwise, because Chris [[Chris_and_reality#Fantasy_and_Fiction|believes fiction is real]], throws his worldview into disarray. So, by drawing Robbie being raped, to Chris you are ''literally'' raping his childhood!

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also:==
*[[Sonee & Rosey]]
*[[Sonichu]]
*[[Rosechu]]
*[[Guro]]
*[[CWC Update 12 August 2009]], in which Chris addresses the former.
*[[A Sonichu Day]] The first time the little abominations ever spoke
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]
*[[Fan:A Very Sonichu Adventure|A Very Sonichu Adventure]]
* Wikipedia article on ''[[wikipedia:The Lurking Fear|The Lurking Fear]]''

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Talk:Fridays After Five

2010-06-20T00:30:14Z

Sakanz:

== To Do ==
I don't normally do this whole to do thing, but...
*<s>Get a gallery of this stuff up.
*put up the video like we have all his others.</s>
Maybe get some more background information, if we can.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:59, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:That was quick.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 20:26, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== What we can get out of this ==
These files prove that Chris is actuaññy going to more social evenn its, influenced by rocky, but also we learned that he is creepy enough to wear his bra in public and he still dances like a turkey mating. Considering the bra is more like a "sign" of some sorts, could this be added into the "love quest" page?.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 01:55, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:This latest turn of events has proven that Chris trolls himself harder than anyone else ever could. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:58, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
Chris is actually going out now, huh? I think it's clear it won't work and once Chris realizes this he'll be back to his old self again. Come to think of it, we could use this video to give him a false sense of paranoia, by claiming we have people following him. This could get us a nice reaction.--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 02:10, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

You know, the last time he was out this much was during his love quest, getting his ass kicked by jerkops and manajerks in the real world. Perhaps we can start seeing something similar in the near future? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

We can hope. In the meantime I called Chris and left a message saying that the trolls are now stalking him in real life now, going with Hirro's idea to give him paranoia. I figure we can try scaring him back onto the internet. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:24, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:I also sent him an e-mail message linking to the videos recorded of him at the event with the subject stating that he was being followed. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:27, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Yay~ People liked my idea. But if we're going with it, we'll need more sightings. Also, Independence day surprise?--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 05:52, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Yes... he truly has nowhere to run now. And I hope Clyde hasn't forgotten his promise for an Independence Day surprise. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:28, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:I completely forgot about that [[User:Sinisterminister|Sinisterminister]] 04:00, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

He had better not have forgotten it. Because if he does, I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! Seriously though. We need a PS3 hacking. Soon. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:30, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

I think we should all thank our greatest operative, Rochelle Shoemaker, for this bounty of lulz.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:36, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Good thing this happened. Now to wait for him to check his e-mail, then my crazed troll plan will start... --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the Trollish]] 02:48, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

* I love how the first thing that popped into everyone's mind was "Gay Trucker"... That alone will be enough for Chris to loose his shit. On a side note, Chris now officially fails at dancing and public decency (If wearing a shirt that says "I love vagina" to a family event doesn't do it, I don't know what does) --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 22:53, 18 June 2010 (EST)
**/me waits for the cops to knock at his door... [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the HAHAHA]] 03:05, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Heh, this might have something to do with an email I sent him. I suggested he check out [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_Punk Desert Punk] It's about a lecherous twat who's obsessed with getting laid, but women find him rude and repulsive. It's got plenty of fan service though, and the main character, despite being depicted as a loser when it comes to sex, is still standard anime fare badass-goofy (like Vash the Stampede in Trigun) so it should appeal to him. There is one story element that I was hoping Chris would see and not go over his head, the introduction of the loli character. To quote the wiki article
:"Kosuna is the former apprentice of the Shimmer Sniper. Her goal is to become the desert's number one "power babe" mercenary, meaning stronger than any man and more beautiful than any woman. After the Shimmer Sniper is defeated by Kanta, Kosuna follows him and constantly begs to be made his apprentice. Kanta highly objects at first but eventually accepts her after she shows him a picture of a large breasted woman Kosuna claims to be her mother, implying how attractive Kosuna would be in years to come. Kanta, a heavily perverted guy, can't help but accept her, though his personal motives are clearly to groom Kosuna to be his personal mate when she grows up."
Sounds like building a sweetheart from the ground up, 'eh? I never got a reply, despite sending it to his gmail, aol, and youtube accounts. If he did read it and check it out, this could be indicative of his apparent courtship of little girls. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 04:51, 18 June 2010 (UTC)
:He wasn't courting little girls, the girls got near him because he had a DS and they wanted to play it too. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:54, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::In that pic, maybe. Why else would he boogie down surrounded by delicious loli while wearing his new "attraction ensemble"? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:02, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:::You're putting way too much thought into this. Chris isn't a pedophile, he's just really, really stupid and socially inept. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::::Neither was that character. Another episode had them sharing a sleeping bag the survive a cold desert night, and he freaked out. The intent is for Chris to get the idea that creating a close bond with one or a harem of loli will enable him to brainwash the little tykes into something he can fuck in a few years. The deviousness comes from the fact that Chris is incapable understanding boundaries and his idea that showing minors porn is "educational". --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:23, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Oh god, this was creepy. Spotting him amongst the crowd was like watching those 'Slender Man' videos, only it was insanely easy to find the horror. I think this proves that, when left to his own devices, Chris A) Acts more like a dumbass than ever before, or B) Gets himself into trouble with the law. I was afraid he was going to try to murder someone, but this proves he's a perfectly healthy human being. Also, I hope the little girl in the photo said 'no' when he likely offered her candy. --[[User:Inferno232|Inferno232]] 19 June 2010
::More likely, if he had any candy, he would have eaten it all himself. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 00:25, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

:You know what Chris? Stay off the internet. You're even more of a lolcow in real life. Seriously, this is hilariously creepy and awesome. Definitely add this into the Love Quest page, because his crappy "Captain Morgan" pose in multiple different places with his... bra sign... cruelly in plain sight of everyone is an obvious extension of his love search. Except I think the Gameboy and sign was slightly better for him, because at least then he could get sympathy. This is literally indecent and just disgusting. I'm a fat guy myself, and I'd never even consider just randomly taking my shirt off in a public place. Let alone if I was wearing a bra...([[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 05:58, 19 June 2010 (UTC))
::The only downside to that is someone has to be there to record him acting like a dumbass in public, or else we'd never know any of the shit he gets himself into. We lucked out this time. There's probably plenty of times he did stuff like this when noone was around to film him or take pictures of him and we'll never know unless Chris mentions it himself with plenty of bias, no doubt. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 00:30, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

== Started a video box. ==

Added the 100_0690.MOV thru 100_0692.MOV as a starter. [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the still HAHAHA]] 04:23, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

==Why show his bra?==

Clearly, Chris doesn't have any compunctions about proving to the world that he wears women's underwear because he's a retard, but being that this was clearly a family event and he was wearing a shirt about pussy, could Jerkops have made him change? Any way of knowing? —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 05:38, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

:If he keeps coming back and someone complains, it's likely the jerkops will intervene. And this time, in front of hundreds of witnesses. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 05:51, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
* I would say, with something like this, Jerkops could have gotten him to change the shirt easily, though if this was a free event, which I wouldn't be surprised at all, they probably wouldn't fully enforce it. The bra, on the other hand, is completely different. If a woman was running around in her bra, yes, they would stop her, but this is ''Chris'' we're talking about here. Since he's a guy, I'm guessing they don't see many guys running around in bras, so they wouldn't think twice.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:56, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
Can't he be charged for indecent exposure or dissorderly conduct or something?--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]]
* Probably not, since he's not actually indecently exposing anything. It's not illegal as far as I know for a man to go around shirtless, and this seems to be more of an outdoor community street fair, so I don't think policies like that can really be enforced. Even if they were, he's not technically shirtless, since he's wearing a bra. But he should definitely have to change the shirt, with so many little kids around. Well, at least it's better than the Mount and Dew Me one. Seeing as that one is a legitimately homosexual t-shirt. ([[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 06:02, 19 June 2010 (UTC))
** Yeah, in most every place I know of in the USA a man can go topless, though a woman can't. So Chris wearing a bra in public wouldn't be indecent exposure. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 23:45, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== The innocent ==

The girl's face is blocked in the cropped photo but the one in the gallery remains clear. What's the policy then? [[User:Nechita|Nechita]] 06:35, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

It's a joke--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 06:48, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== There are more photos ==

Post them all. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 10:18, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*[[CWCki:DOITFAGGOT|Get to it then]] :p. Also, we need an uncensored version of that one with the kid. Justification - 1) whoever made the set ("Archie Bunker") would have censored it if he felt like it was a concern for the child, 2) a child's privacy is probably not going to be threatened by inclusion in a picture, 3) I can't think of any troll who is obsessed enough to track down a girl who look at Chris in a picture just to get info or whatever from her. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:03, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::Also it's badly edited - looks terrible. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:45, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== Pokéwalker? ==

What the hell does he use that for?--[[User:OrsonZedd|OrsonZedd]] 14:16, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

I played a downloaded version of Heartgold so I didn't get one, but it's my understanding that you put one of your pokemon in it or onto it and when you walk around it gives the pokemon xp. So, he uses it to level up his pokemon. --[[User:Hellion|masta beta alum]] 14:29, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:According to [[Wikipedia:Nintendo_DS_accessories#Pok.C3.A9walker|Wikipedia]]:
:''The Pokéwalker is a Poké Ball-shaped pedometer which can connect to Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver game cards via infrared signals. The player can transfer a Pokémon to the Pokéwalker from either HeartGold or SoulSilver. Every time the player takes a step, the Pokémon inside gains experience points and the player earns "Watts", a type of in-game currency which was also used on the Pokémon Pikachu virtual pet. Players can also catch various Pokémon on the device and obtain items, then transfer them to the game. The device comes bundled with the games.''
--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:19, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== I can't believe it ==
Why is he wearing a manbra with writing. and WHY hasnt the police arrested him or something for doing that.
T_T The poor children are scared....especially when he dances with em, what a PEDOFORK. >.<
[[User:BabyNeko|BabyNeko]]

* As long as he isn't causing a problem with it the messages on his clothing are technically covered by the first amendment. At least if it's on public property. ---[[User:ConCat|ConCat]] 15:42, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== This is fucking hilarious ==

It's true... Chris trolls himself harder than we do.

I say we leave him off the internet for a while and observe him, see if he does more dumb shit. If not (or nothing out of the ordinary), we can always get him back with Hiiro's plan of making him paranoid. [[User:Doctor Nuriel|Doctor Nuriel]] 17:37, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*I had thoughts of sending him an email full of shots of his house from Google Maps with the Google crap cropped out along with random gay porn pictures in an attachment to him to see how scared he gets. -- [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the Cunning]] 17:51, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

==Maybe it's just me, but==
In some of these videos/pictures, when Chris is standing with his back to the crowd, it looks to me like he's sticking his ass out as far as he can. Remember, Chris thinks he has a great ass (can't remember where he said that, so if you guys know please tell me), so it wouldn't surprise me if this was an intentional ploy to get a gal-pal, though it ends up looking unnatural and creepy. Best example: [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:100_0678.JPG this image] in which he is sitting, but in a manner which to me looks incredibly unnatural. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 18:30, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

:Don't remember him saying this, but totally possible. [http://cogsdev.org/w/images/thumb/0/02/0779-CWCREAR.JPG/450px-0779-CWCREAR.JPG Pic related.] --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 18:38, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::He's definitely posing. What's more the only time he wasn't posing is when he was playing the Vidja. Every time he's trying to position himself to appear cool and relaxed, and ends up looking awkward and terrifying. I'm sure in his mind this makes him incredibly attractive to the ladies, but we all know how good Chris's mind is.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 20:29, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Fridays After Five

2010-06-20T00:25:41Z

Sakanz:

== To Do ==
I don't normally do this whole to do thing, but...
*<s>Get a gallery of this stuff up.
*put up the video like we have all his others.</s>
Maybe get some more background information, if we can.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:59, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:That was quick.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 20:26, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== What we can get out of this ==
These files prove that Chris is actuaññy going to more social evenn its, influenced by rocky, but also we learned that he is creepy enough to wear his bra in public and he still dances like a turkey mating. Considering the bra is more like a "sign" of some sorts, could this be added into the "love quest" page?.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 01:55, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:This latest turn of events has proven that Chris trolls himself harder than anyone else ever could. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:58, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
Chris is actually going out now, huh? I think it's clear it won't work and once Chris realizes this he'll be back to his old self again. Come to think of it, we could use this video to give him a false sense of paranoia, by claiming we have people following him. This could get us a nice reaction.--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 02:10, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

You know, the last time he was out this much was during his love quest, getting his ass kicked by jerkops and manajerks in the real world. Perhaps we can start seeing something similar in the near future? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

We can hope. In the meantime I called Chris and left a message saying that the trolls are now stalking him in real life now, going with Hirro's idea to give him paranoia. I figure we can try scaring him back onto the internet. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:24, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:I also sent him an e-mail message linking to the videos recorded of him at the event with the subject stating that he was being followed. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:27, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Yay~ People liked my idea. But if we're going with it, we'll need more sightings. Also, Independence day surprise?--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 05:52, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Yes... he truly has nowhere to run now. And I hope Clyde hasn't forgotten his promise for an Independence Day surprise. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:28, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:I completely forgot about that [[User:Sinisterminister|Sinisterminister]] 04:00, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

He had better not have forgotten it. Because if he does, I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! Seriously though. We need a PS3 hacking. Soon. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:30, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

I think we should all thank our greatest operative, Rochelle Shoemaker, for this bounty of lulz.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:36, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Good thing this happened. Now to wait for him to check his e-mail, then my crazed troll plan will start... --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the Trollish]] 02:48, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

* I love how the first thing that popped into everyone's mind was "Gay Trucker"... That alone will be enough for Chris to loose his shit. On a side note, Chris now officially fails at dancing and public decency (If wearing a shirt that says "I love vagina" to a family event doesn't do it, I don't know what does) --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 22:53, 18 June 2010 (EST)
**/me waits for the cops to knock at his door... [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the HAHAHA]] 03:05, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Heh, this might have something to do with an email I sent him. I suggested he check out [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_Punk Desert Punk] It's about a lecherous twat who's obsessed with getting laid, but women find him rude and repulsive. It's got plenty of fan service though, and the main character, despite being depicted as a loser when it comes to sex, is still standard anime fare badass-goofy (like Vash the Stampede in Trigun) so it should appeal to him. There is one story element that I was hoping Chris would see and not go over his head, the introduction of the loli character. To quote the wiki article
:"Kosuna is the former apprentice of the Shimmer Sniper. Her goal is to become the desert's number one "power babe" mercenary, meaning stronger than any man and more beautiful than any woman. After the Shimmer Sniper is defeated by Kanta, Kosuna follows him and constantly begs to be made his apprentice. Kanta highly objects at first but eventually accepts her after she shows him a picture of a large breasted woman Kosuna claims to be her mother, implying how attractive Kosuna would be in years to come. Kanta, a heavily perverted guy, can't help but accept her, though his personal motives are clearly to groom Kosuna to be his personal mate when she grows up."
Sounds like building a sweetheart from the ground up, 'eh? I never got a reply, despite sending it to his gmail, aol, and youtube accounts. If he did read it and check it out, this could be indicative of his apparent courtship of little girls. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 04:51, 18 June 2010 (UTC)
:He wasn't courting little girls, the girls got near him because he had a DS and they wanted to play it too. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:54, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::In that pic, maybe. Why else would he boogie down surrounded by delicious loli while wearing his new "attraction ensemble"? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:02, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:::You're putting way too much thought into this. Chris isn't a pedophile, he's just really, really stupid and socially inept. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::::Neither was that character. Another episode had them sharing a sleeping bag the survive a cold desert night, and he freaked out. The intent is for Chris to get the idea that creating a close bond with one or a harem of loli will enable him to brainwash the little tykes into something he can fuck in a few years. The deviousness comes from the fact that Chris is incapable understanding boundaries and his idea that showing minors porn is "educational". --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:23, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Oh god, this was creepy. Spotting him amongst the crowd was like watching those 'Slender Man' videos, only it was insanely easy to find the horror. I think this proves that, when left to his own devices, Chris A) Acts more like a dumbass than ever before, or B) Gets himself into trouble with the law. I was afraid he was going to try to murder someone, but this proves he's a perfectly healthy human being. Also, I hope the little girl in the photo said 'no' when he likely offered her candy. --[[User:Inferno232|Inferno232]] 19 June 2010
::More likely, if he had any candy, he would have eaten it all himself. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 00:25, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

:You know what Chris? Stay off the internet. You're even more of a lolcow in real life. Seriously, this is hilariously creepy and awesome. Definitely add this into the Love Quest page, because his crappy "Captain Morgan" pose in multiple different places with his... bra sign... cruelly in plain sight of everyone is an obvious extension of his love search. Except I think the Gameboy and sign was slightly better for him, because at least then he could get sympathy. This is literally indecent and just disgusting. I'm a fat guy myself, and I'd never even consider just randomly taking my shirt off in a public place. Let alone if I was wearing a bra...([[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 05:58, 19 June 2010 (UTC))

== Started a video box. ==

Added the 100_0690.MOV thru 100_0692.MOV as a starter. [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the still HAHAHA]] 04:23, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

==Why show his bra?==

Clearly, Chris doesn't have any compunctions about proving to the world that he wears women's underwear because he's a retard, but being that this was clearly a family event and he was wearing a shirt about pussy, could Jerkops have made him change? Any way of knowing? —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 05:38, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

:If he keeps coming back and someone complains, it's likely the jerkops will intervene. And this time, in front of hundreds of witnesses. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 05:51, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
* I would say, with something like this, Jerkops could have gotten him to change the shirt easily, though if this was a free event, which I wouldn't be surprised at all, they probably wouldn't fully enforce it. The bra, on the other hand, is completely different. If a woman was running around in her bra, yes, they would stop her, but this is ''Chris'' we're talking about here. Since he's a guy, I'm guessing they don't see many guys running around in bras, so they wouldn't think twice.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:56, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
Can't he be charged for indecent exposure or dissorderly conduct or something?--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]]
* Probably not, since he's not actually indecently exposing anything. It's not illegal as far as I know for a man to go around shirtless, and this seems to be more of an outdoor community street fair, so I don't think policies like that can really be enforced. Even if they were, he's not technically shirtless, since he's wearing a bra. But he should definitely have to change the shirt, with so many little kids around. Well, at least it's better than the Mount and Dew Me one. Seeing as that one is a legitimately homosexual t-shirt. ([[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 06:02, 19 June 2010 (UTC))
** Yeah, in most every place I know of in the USA a man can go topless, though a woman can't. So Chris wearing a bra in public wouldn't be indecent exposure. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 23:45, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== The innocent ==

The girl's face is blocked in the cropped photo but the one in the gallery remains clear. What's the policy then? [[User:Nechita|Nechita]] 06:35, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

It's a joke--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 06:48, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== There are more photos ==

Post them all. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 10:18, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*[[CWCki:DOITFAGGOT|Get to it then]] :p. Also, we need an uncensored version of that one with the kid. Justification - 1) whoever made the set ("Archie Bunker") would have censored it if he felt like it was a concern for the child, 2) a child's privacy is probably not going to be threatened by inclusion in a picture, 3) I can't think of any troll who is obsessed enough to track down a girl who look at Chris in a picture just to get info or whatever from her. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:03, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::Also it's badly edited - looks terrible. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:45, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== Pokéwalker? ==

What the hell does he use that for?--[[User:OrsonZedd|OrsonZedd]] 14:16, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

I played a downloaded version of Heartgold so I didn't get one, but it's my understanding that you put one of your pokemon in it or onto it and when you walk around it gives the pokemon xp. So, he uses it to level up his pokemon. --[[User:Hellion|masta beta alum]] 14:29, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:According to [[Wikipedia:Nintendo_DS_accessories#Pok.C3.A9walker|Wikipedia]]:
:''The Pokéwalker is a Poké Ball-shaped pedometer which can connect to Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver game cards via infrared signals. The player can transfer a Pokémon to the Pokéwalker from either HeartGold or SoulSilver. Every time the player takes a step, the Pokémon inside gains experience points and the player earns "Watts", a type of in-game currency which was also used on the Pokémon Pikachu virtual pet. Players can also catch various Pokémon on the device and obtain items, then transfer them to the game. The device comes bundled with the games.''
--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:19, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== I can't believe it ==
Why is he wearing a manbra with writing. and WHY hasnt the police arrested him or something for doing that.
T_T The poor children are scared....especially when he dances with em, what a PEDOFORK. >.<
[[User:BabyNeko|BabyNeko]]

* As long as he isn't causing a problem with it the messages on his clothing are technically covered by the first amendment. At least if it's on public property. ---[[User:ConCat|ConCat]] 15:42, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== This is fucking hilarious ==

It's true... Chris trolls himself harder than we do.

I say we leave him off the internet for a while and observe him, see if he does more dumb shit. If not (or nothing out of the ordinary), we can always get him back with Hiiro's plan of making him paranoid. [[User:Doctor Nuriel|Doctor Nuriel]] 17:37, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*I had thoughts of sending him an email full of shots of his house from Google Maps with the Google crap cropped out along with random gay porn pictures in an attachment to him to see how scared he gets. -- [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the Cunning]] 17:51, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

==Maybe it's just me, but==
In some of these videos/pictures, when Chris is standing with his back to the crowd, it looks to me like he's sticking his ass out as far as he can. Remember, Chris thinks he has a great ass (can't remember where he said that, so if you guys know please tell me), so it wouldn't surprise me if this was an intentional ploy to get a gal-pal, though it ends up looking unnatural and creepy. Best example: [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:100_0678.JPG this image] in which he is sitting, but in a manner which to me looks incredibly unnatural. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 18:30, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

:Don't remember him saying this, but totally possible. [http://cogsdev.org/w/images/thumb/0/02/0779-CWCREAR.JPG/450px-0779-CWCREAR.JPG Pic related.] --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 18:38, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::He's definitely posing. What's more the only time he wasn't posing is when he was playing the Vidja. Every time he's trying to position himself to appear cool and relaxed, and ends up looking awkward and terrifying. I'm sure in his mind this makes him incredibly attractive to the ladies, but we all know how good Chris's mind is.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 20:29, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Some Favored Comedians

2010-05-20T22:28:00Z

Sakanz:

Where's the video? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 20:34, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
:It will be available soon. It's still processing [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URLwUjuNJYM] --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:36, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
::I see. I wonder if he'll bore us like with the last video. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 20:36, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

Oh god, I'm only a minute in and he's back to ranting about the Cleavland Show.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:47, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
:He's got to be the only fan of that show. I watched it before and I thought it was painfully unfunny. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 21:06, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
Is it bad that I misread the title as "[[Recycling|Semen Flavored Condoms]]"? --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 21:00, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
:No. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 21:58, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

== Transcription ==
I'm going to make a start on it from the beginning, if anyone elsewants to start from like 5min in or something. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:00, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
:Everything past the 5 minute mark is my BITCH. A BITCH I must TRANSRIBE.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:03, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
::Ahaha his new stock insult is that WE are the autistics what the fuck. Somebody dig up some reaction photos of these comedians. Hopefully ones that are a mixture of confused, afraid and furious.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:20, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
:::Ah shit, I gotta go and not be glued in front of my computer like an autistic for a few hours. I transcribed up to 8:07. Someone pick up my slack.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:35, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

: I got up to the point where he complains about the voice be whiney and hi-pitched... Couldn't take the irony --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 17:22, 20 May 2010 (EST)

== Cameos ==
Wall of originals, marge poster sailor moon poster, and guitar of fail cameos, also, no medal and he is still going bald 1:53, also, is it me or the angle of the camera makes Chris look like a Charger from LFD2? .[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 21:30, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

:It certainly looks like Chris has been using his right hand a lot more than his left. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 22:28, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

== The Shirt ==
Can we call this one "The Redneck"? It's the same getup that he had in his hookcafe pic so it deserves some recognition. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 21:32, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
*I prefer "Cool guy" because it's Chris's pathetic attempt to seem cool. Oh, I added a thing at the beginning mentioning some topics Chris brings up--[[User:WarOfTheBees|WarOfTheBees]] 21:38, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
**How about "The Poser"? --[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 21:40, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
** maybe "The Homo" or "Flabby Arms" or "The rebel"[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 21:43, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
::*Actually, how about "Trucker Man". It fit Chris so well in the video when he failed at impersonating Larry the Cable Guy --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:03, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

Nathanael Greene Elementary School

2010-04-04T15:25:25Z

Sakanz:

[[Image:Nathaniel Greene School.jpg|thumb|Nathanael Greene Elementary School, Standardsville]]

'''Nathanael Greene Elementary School''' is an elementary school in [[Wikipedia:Standardsville, Virginia|Stanardsville, Virginia]], a 192 acre (77.7 hectares) town (to put that in perspective, [[Wikipedia:Cuyamaca Community College|this community college]] is about the same size as the whole town), which basically consists of a highway intersection. It's named for the [[Wikipedia:American Revolutionary War|Revolutionary War]] hero [[Wikipedia:Nathanael Greene|Nathanael Greene]]. [[Chris]] attended [[Wikipedia:Fourth grade|fourth-grade]] classes at this school. To this day, he consistently misspells the school's namesake as "Nathan'''i'''el Greene," so he obviously learned a lot there!

Chris was pulled out of the school by [[Bob]] after telling him that he had become [[homo|homophobic]] due to sitting on the (supposedly) homosexual [[Principal of Nathanael Greene Elementary School|principal]]'s lap (srsly). His later hate for [[homos]] can be traced back to this incident,<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009]]</ref> despite being far too young at the time (especially for a sheltered retard) to know what homosexuality even was.

{{quote|they abused me by pinning me to the ground with, uh, their ha--with, uh holding my wrists and my ankles|Chris on his teachers and principals<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>}}

Based on "physical abuse from 5 faculty members", Chris's parents took the case to [[Wikipedia:Greene County, Virginia|Greene County]] court. After the school board threatened to (allegedly) lock Chris away, his family moved to [[Wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>

==Why Chris Left==
{{quote|There was conflict over where he would have his schooling. The school system or the Department of Social Services had attempted to place the patient in a special school. His parents were very adamant that he be in a mainstream high school. In order to maintain custody of the patient, the patient's father moved them to Richmond, Virginia.|Jeff Raynor, M.D.<ref>[[Autism papers]]</ref>}}

The [[Autism papers]] confirm the fact that Chris's parents moved him out of Greene County to evade the the possibility of having Chris admitted to a special school. Still, details are fuzzy as to what actually took place, since Chris leaves out important details (such as what prompted them to "abuse" him), or spins the story in a way that favors him. The way he describes it, dubiously, the school faculty dragged him out of class for no particular reason, had the dubiously homo principal hold him on his lap, while attempting to molest him. Then, they held him by his wrists and ankles, and shoved a tape recorder in his face to record his screams while they laughed at his suffering. Ironically, these are the kinds of videos he makes for YouTube nowadays.

There are many details about this story which obviously don't add up.
*Despite being Virginia, principals aren't supposed to let kids sit on their lap for the exact reason Chris was afraid of: it's inappropriate behavior.
*Public schools are required to have faculty experienced with special education, so it's doubtful that Chris was surrounded completely by people who didn't understand his problems and chose to mock him.
*Most speculate that Chris was [[Chris and anger|tard raging]] and couldn't be restrained, leading to the incident in question in the office.
*In a conversation with [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_8|Alec Benson Leary]], Chris said that Principal Johnson "said some offensive things to [him]," when Chris was sitting on his lap. When pressed on exactly what those offensive things were, Chris said he couldn't remember, but that they were offensive. Chris said nothing about being molested, just that after Johnson said what he said, Chris jumped off his lap and hid under Johnson's desk. It wasn't made clear if by "offensive" he meant something of a sexual nature, an insulting remark, or merely a negative statement. Given Chris's ego and oversensitivity, it's likely Johnson simply said something that insinuated Chris's behavior or the pace of his learning was causing problems and that he might need to go into special education, and Chris found it "offensive" that he wasn't considered absolutely perfect and might have to take classes with the [[slow-in-the-minds]].
*It's also a reasonable assumption that the "tape recorder" reflects the school's attempt to record Chris's behavior to use as evidence for the need to send Chris to a special school, either that, or they were aware of the Chandler's potentially slanderous comments towards the faculty.
* It may also be worthy of note that Chris [[Song of Christian|was given his first F at this school]]. Since he only attended for less than a year before being pulled out, it's likely that it was somehow connected to, if not the cause of, this incident.

In the end, it's most likely that Chris's autistic behavior was out of control, and the school district likely sought evidence to prove that Chris needed full time special education. Evidence like this could also be used as evidence of parental neglect or incompetence in choosing to avoid the obvious care a child needs.

Chris may also have been expelled for his out of control behavior, and he may have been forced to leave the county for the mainstream education his parents so [[naïve]]ly desired. In the United States, when a student is expelled, they're usually expelled from the school district in question until the board decides it's safe for the student to return, so the Chandlers could have just lied to him. This means that the only way he could have received an education at a public school would have been to move to a different county, where they wouldn't have records of him.

The reason why his parents were so adamant to keep him in a "normal" or "mainstream" educational environment isn't hard to guess. Not surprisingly, most of these objections are self-centered and are really about the parents' own feelings, not their child's needs. Like many parents with children with special needs:
* They may have felt that Chris's need for "special care" would reflect poorly on them as parents
* They may have assumed that Chris would be "stigmatized" by being put in a special school
* They may have assumed that Chris would be limited in future opportunities by being put in a special school
* They may have assumed that Chris's problem "wasn't a big deal" when educators who spent most of the day with him saw the reality of the situation

==The Aftermath==
After Nathanael Greene, [[Bob Chandler]] unsuccessfully took legal action against the school district. His case was later dropped. Chris's family moved him away in order to keep him in "mainstream" classrooms, and we now have the Chris we know and love today.

==See also==
*[[Principal of Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]

==Sauce==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://greenecounty.va.schoolwebpages.com/education/school/school.php?sectiondetailid=22 School website]

{{Template:Incomplete}}

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Education]]

User:Sakanz

2010-04-03T22:08:48Z

Sakanz: Created page with 'Nothing of interest here.'

Nothing of interest here.

Asperger syndrome

2010-04-03T22:07:12Z

Sakanz:

[[Image:CWCASPIE.JPG|thumb|right|People with Asperger's are frequently called "Aspies"]]

[[Chris]] has an extremely warped and inconsistent view of '''Asperger's syndrome'''. He varies between outright denying that it is part of the [[Autism]] spectrum, to idiotically confusing it with Alzheimer's Disease. You know, since both sound German. Like [[duck|bratwurst]]. He also believes people with Asperger's are [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"stealing the limelight from us autistics."]]

{{quote|Aspergers is Nothing At All Like Autism. I have stated this Fact over and over again in my replies to messages from people who tell me otherwise. I feel very sick and tired of hearing that false rumor that the two are Anything to Full Similar.|[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|Chris - in all his failtastic glory]]}}

==Background==
Asperger syndrome is a social disorder that is considered by some to fall within the autism spectrum. Its symptoms are similar to those seen in high-functioning autism cases like Chris (although, unlike him, people with Asperger syndrome are generally marked by above-average intelligence).

Because many laypersons regard Asperger's and HFA to be essentially interchangeable and identical, and because the slang term "aspie" (short for "Asperger's", obviously) is often used to describe anyone with a disorder along the autism spectrum, newcomers to the Chris-chan phenomenon sometimes assume that he has and/or claims to have Asperger's. A few people even jump to the conclusion that, like some people who claim to have Asperger's, Chris is self-diagnosed.

However, Chris is easily offended by the suggestion that Asperger syndrome is even remotely similar to autism.

==Chris on Asperger's==
For some time, Chris referred to Asperger's as a disorder that affects the memory: [[IRC (02 January 2009)|on IRC]], in his online [[Quizzes#Autism Quiz|Autism Quiz]], in the [[Sonichu 1 Official Videobook]], and in his [[Mailbag]] on [[CWCipedia]], among other places. It appeared as if Chris was confusing Asperger's with Alzheimer's disease, an easy enough mistake for someone as stupid as he is to make.

Not long after Chris began answering the Mailbag, Asperger's became a recurring topic in the column. Numerous e-mails doggedly attempted to correct his misconceptions, while in his replies Chris became much more defensive and much less consistent in his arguments about why Asperger's is so different from autism. Eventually, he decided to settle the issue with a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|spectacularly butthurt essay]], revealing the real reason Asperger's "grinds his gears."

{{Quote|And those with Aspergers DARE try to take the Shine and Limelight AWAY from us Autistic people, not only with their "Social Flaws" and such possibly similar traits to Autism. But to SHUN us Autistics by being BETTER Communicatively and Mentally than us.|Chris, claiming that people with Asperger's are out to steal his autistic thunder.}}

In short, Chris doesn't understand what differences between his condition and Asperger's syndrome may or may not exist, and more to the point, he doesn't care. He simply feels that people with Asperger's are receiving some measure of the attention and sympathy that [[Chris and his ego|he deserves]] instead. Naturally, [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] ensues. In [[Mailbag 19]] he even admits that the first thing he thinks of when he hears the term Aspergers is "Competing Retards."

Chris basically outright refuses to gain any higher understanding of Asperger's: he states in his [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|Cwcipedia article]] that it's a "fact" that HFA and Asperger's are entirely unrelated (despite stating in the sentence beforehand that the article is composed of his "honest personal opinions"), and that anything to the contrary is a false rumor, despite said false rumour being a popular scientific opinion. Of course, that doesn't fit into Chris's view of things, so he ends up just ignoring it and pretending it doesn't exist.

Chris's belief that he is somehow representing his fellow autistics in some sort of tribal conflict against people with Asperger's is entertaining on a couple of levels. For one thing, any such rivalry is nothing but a figment of his overactive imagination, which is not shared by most people on the autistic spectrum. For another, autistics who've been exposed to Chris universally regard him as a revolting embarrassment to other people with the same condition.

He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like "ass burgers."

==Real differences between Asperger's and autism==
According to Chris, having Asperger's is [[Chris and Anger|NOTHING LIKE AUTISM GET IT THROUGH YOUR DANG DIRTY SKULLS]]! Of course we don't have to take Chris's word for it and we would be clinically insane if we did. People that are far more qualified than him have done some research on the matter and the results may be considered not entirely surprising.

'''Spoiler''': Chris couldn't be more wrong if he tried. Srsly.<ref>[http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:0eVuokPKvMoJ:www.sacramentoasis.com/docs/8-22-03/as_%26_hfa.pdf+difference+asperger+autism&hl=nl&gl=nl&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEEShq7bXfr0kKmJZJO041e8U6YGlrx0bwKzBzXWh0tJHAWrIe024G57KwzsmIjUW5rrsNhXUr7ld4nVUWIMJRXFXzoIUksEVD8GBb7t_FhNriLnFJp5vcrfkd_tLlmUqFsY3gDCxL&sig=AHIEtbRUV1TCXswi1U77qGwN-mVIUHVG3w Study by renowned autism researcher Tony Attwood]</ref>

{{quotebox|There has been research comparing the cognitive profile of adolescents with autism and Asperger's syndrome. The studies have examined the cognitive profile of what may becalled 'High Functioning Autism', that is children with a diagnosis of autism with an Intelligence Quotient in the normal range, i.e. above 70. The term High Functioning Autism has been used in the past to describe children who had the classic signs of autism in early childhood but as they developed, formal testing of their cognitive skills indicated a greater degree of intellectual ability with greater social and adaptive behaviour skills than are usual with children with autism. Their clinical outcome was better than expected. The cognitive abilities of this group of children were then compared to the cognitive profile of children with Asperger's syndrome, who did not have a history of early cognitive or language delay. The results of the research has not established a distinct and consistent profile for each group. It was found that only a minority of each diagnostic group showed a characteristic profile.

Clinical experience and research has confirmed that in terms of the child's behavioural profile, children and adults with High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome have a very similar presentation. Both groups benefit from the same behavioural treatment programs. The recommendations from clinicians and academics for treatment for both High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome are the same. Clinicians have noted that as the clinical picture of Pervasive Developmental Disorders or Autistic Spectrum Disorders changes over time, a child may receive a diagnosis of severe autism or High Functioning Autism at one point in their developmental history and Asperger's syndrome at a later stage.

In short, the research and clinical experience would suggest that there is no clear evidence that they are different disorders. Their similarities are greater than their differences.}}

Perhaps the leading irony of Chris's crusade against Asperger's is that he probably has Asperger's himself. The only real difference between a diagnosis of "high-functioning autism" and "Asperger's" is the time at which the diagnosis was made. Asperger's syndrome was first added to the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual in 1994, and it wasn't until the 2000s that it gained substantial recognition among professionals. Chris happens to have made "high-functioning autism" a cornerstone of his identity because that's the diagnosis he received as a child in the late 1980s. If he'd been born two decades later, though, it is quite likely he'd have wound up diagnosed with the Asperger's label he so fiercely detests. In which case, that article he wrote would probably be ranting about the autistics trying to steal his aspie thunder.

Additionally, as of early 2010, the American Psychological Association has suggested no longer referring to Asperger's syndrome under [[wikipedia:DSM-V|the DSM-V]], due for publication in 2013. Instead, what are now referred to as Asperger's syndrome, autism, and PDD-NOS—already widely understood to be related conditions—will be referred to as just autism spectrum disorders, further cementing the connection between the two. <ref>[http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jdKqvb7DZsuRpnh8NnrTnV2DJIlgD9DP3S0O1 Changes proposed in how psychiatrists diagnose]</ref>

TL;DR: Autism and Asperger's are so similar even people trained to diagnose them have trouble telling the difference. And, in fact, there may be ''no'' difference.

==See also==
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Fan:Asperchu|Asperchu]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]

Chris and remorse

2010-04-01T20:51:44Z

Sakanz: That line about Chris caring about other people just didn't sound right...

Every so often, the horrendous things [[Chris]] continually does catch up with him, and he is forced to apologize. These apologies, like most of the other times Chris [[Autism|tries to come off as emotional]], often feel forced and insincere, leading many [[trolls]] to wonder if Chris is even capable of feeling '''remorse'''.

It's not out of the question. A common trait of [[autism]] is a lack of empathy, meaning it's very likely Chris has a very difficult time trying to understand what people other than himself feel. Just as time and time again he's shown himself unable to understand others' feelings of [[Chris and death|loss or sadness]], he seems equally incapable of understanding how his actions could possibly hurt or anger others. Thus when he is expected to show remorse it often seems as though he is just going through the motions, and making the absolute minimum effort to get whoever he has upset to stop pestering him.

==Concept of wrongdoing==
The understanding of right and wrong is an important part of a child's development. Very young children do not actually take into consideration what is ethically the right or wrong thing to do, instead basing their actions on whether they are punished and rewarded, before eventually internalizing this value system and becoming self-policing. Chris seems to be stuck in this early mentality. If something makes him feel bad, or if he knows he'll get in trouble for doing something, he considers it wrong. If it makes him feel good, or looks like it could have potential rewards it must be right. [[Wikipedia:Michel Foucault|Foucault]] would have nightmares about him.

Evidence of this is not difficult to find, but perhaps the most telling example is how he managed to destroy his relationship with [[Megan]]. Chris uploaded the [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|image that destroyed their friendship]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] without even considering the fact that it would hurt her. When she called him out on his reprehensible actions, he didn't even realize that he had done wrong, assuming that she was upset because she didn't look at as much porn as he did.

{{Quote|I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of outtercourse (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you. I'm sorry.|Chris, [[Megan E-mails#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|not getting it at all]].}}

As such, Chris is not really capable of remorse or a sincere apology as most people normally understand them. The natural precursor to an apology is the internal realization that one has done something wrong, a realization that Chris's childish selfishness and monstrous ego will not allow him to reach. In his mind, he's done something "wrong" only when the people around him react negatively. Furthermore, as a rule, he assumes that their reaction is just the result of some misunderstanding, going by the logic that if he explained what he was trying to accomplish, they would understand, and all would be forgiven.

==Motivation to apologize==
[[Image:VivianLetsTalkBusiness.PNG|thumb|I'm sorry, now give me money.]]
As explained above, Chris's logic when it comes to matters of right and wrong is almost wholly reactionary. His rationale for apologizing follows the same pattern. To Chris, an apology is no frills way of cutting off responsibility for actions he would rather not be held accountable for. He issues them only when made fully aware that he will not get what he wants unless he at least tries to appear genuinely remorseful.

{{Quote|I wish to apologize to Michael Schneider for that mistake I made over nine months ago that got me kicked out of The GAMe PLACe... I miss my Friday nights over there… and also... y’all are the only place in town that has, uh, Eye of Judgment cards.|Chris, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apologizing in order to buy stuff]].}}
{{Quote|I apologize for the past unformalities[sic] and emotional outbursts in past communications... I ask for 25% of all money... you have and will have made from all [the [[audiobooks]]] you have put together and sold.|Chris, apologizing for sending [[Vivian Gee|Vivian]] a fucking [[Death threats|death threat]].}}

The cause and effect nature of his apologies is normally related to his [[sweethearts]] in one way or another. Chris will say he's sorry for no other reason than to keep the chances of him eventually getting some [[China]] on the table. In his [[I'm Sorry, Dude|I'm sorry dude]] video, Chris offered up a very vague and lame apology to the brother of the boyfriend of a girl he wanted to screw, just to keep her from getting too angry with him.

In [[I_am_Alive| one notable case]], he admits to ungentlemanly conduct regarding his feud with [[Asperchu]]. It was a fairly obvious attempt to get [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia_Advertisements| certain ads removed from CWCipedia,]] but, notably, he announced his intention to kill off the character of [[Simonla]], in accordance with [[Evan| her creator's]] wishes. He didn't act quickly enough, and CWCipedia was taken down from the web altogether. Although his anger was understandable, Chris revealed in [[9_February_2010| his next video]] that he had never intended to kill Simonla in the first place, and that the apology was not true and honest. We had all suspected, but it's nice to get confirmation once in a while. After CWCipedia returned, he did indeed kill Simonla, but only under pressure, and in the most contrived, dull, yet very lulzy, way possible.

The one apology that arguably highlights Chris's insincerity the most is his in-comic apology to the Asperpedia Four, which takes place ''while [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|condemning them to death]]''. The cognitive dissonance this creates is overwhelming to any sane person, but [[Autism|for some reason]], Chris thought that this ludicrous non-apology apology was both okay and that the recipients would accept it as genuine.

==Common traits of a CWC apology==

===Explanation===
One recurring element in Chris's admissions of guilt is an explanation of why he did whatever he's apologizing for. The way these speeches are worded often indicates that Chris believes that if we just understood his ''intentions'', we would all agree with him, and that nobody would be offended.

A famous example appears in the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]] video. Chris explains that yes, he videotaped himself performing a selection of disturbing sex acts, but it was all for his sweetheart [[Ivy]], and this evidently renders his actions understandable and acceptable. Supposedly speaking to a young child who was shocked by his behavior, he tells her that his behavior was perfectly reasonable because he is both adult and human. This combination of warped logic and an even more warped world-view was a crucial component of his breakthrough to mainstream infamy.

Another good example would be the time he [[Twin Falling Towers|used the worst terrorist attack in American history for an exceedingly bad joke]]. After learning that [[Kacey]] comes from a military family, Chris did what was expected of him and made a [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|public apology]]. However, he was more concerned with continuing to slander [[Clyde Cash]] and assuring us he was a good American (although he didn't know the words to his own national anthem)<ref>[[Mumble 7#summary|Mumble Chat 7]]</ref><ref>[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]</ref>than with actually expressing remorse and making an attempt at recompense.
[[Image:SnuffOutClyde.jpg|thumb|This looks like a good idea.]]
{{Quote|The joke was mainly directed to how WEAK Clyde Cash was only, I had no idea or intention of offending anyone, other than Clyde, on such a massive world-wide level.|[[Apology_for_9/11_Joke#Apology_image_text|Chris's written apology]].}}

Within the same video, he changed the photoshop he'd done of the World Trade Center towers into birthday candles. That he saw no problem in presenting an image of the two buildings on fire and repeatedly calling them weak while he asserted that he was a good American proves that he [[Fail|completely missed the point]] of what he was supposed to be apologizing for. He seems far more concerned with sullying Clyde's name than with any blowback or offense his comments may cause.

===Rationalization===

Chris is incredibly self-righteous. In his mind he is the only decent man left in the world, and everybody else is an evil [[JERKS|jerk]]. This mindset gives Chris all the justification he needs to mistreat others, because as far as he's concerned they're all the bad guys, standing in the way of his [[Fuck Quest|heroic quest]].

This "everything I do is right" mindset shows through when he is forced to talk about his prior transgressions. Chris might offer a half-assed apology, simply to conform to the wishes of whoever he's talking to, but it will often be accompanied with a long explanation as to why he ''had'' to do it.

{{Quote|I was wrong... I pretended to be him yet he was the liar. I'm the real deal... So on that one part I was wrong for the right reasons.|Chris, [[I Love You Kacey|almost admitting wrongdoing]].}}

He has exhibited this self-righteous attitude many times in the [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] saga: because he is the TRUE and HONEST Christian, this gives him the right to [[For Kacey from CWC|attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend by]] [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be him]], and then [[SHE IS MINE NOW|gloat about it once he apparently achieves this]]. Once again, Chris sees no wrong in this; Liquid wronged him by trolling him in the first place, ergo anything he does in response is entirely justified.

==Retraction==

Chris, believing that his actions are right, often has to be pressured into making any form of apology at all. Most, if not all, apology videos are motivated by the people he desires (be they obvious troll or otherwise) or desires to appease, rather than the public outcry he causes.

One of his favorite ways to spite people is to lay a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] upon them; thinking that he has powers akin to something more along the lines of Wicca, Voodoo, or Goku from [[Things Chris has ripped off|DBZ]] than with the [[Chris and religion|Christianity]] he practices. He only issued the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]] after [[Kacey|his latest e-girlfriend]] told him that he shouldn't have done so.

Considering that he quickly returned to his ways of cursing, threatening, and insulting his enemies, the sentiment obviously didn't stick.

==Sauces==

<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and fashion

2010-01-13T22:46:56Z

Sakanz:

[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|150px|right|Fashion is cyclical.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to spend thousands of dollars on video games, action figures, [[My Little Pony]]s and [[Kimmi|sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are exclusively purchased secondhand at thrift stores like Salvation Army and Goodwill. Therefore, the only clothes he owns are clown shirts donated from the circus and undersized striped rugby shirts that have been marinating in his [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|bodily stench and fluids]] for the past decade. Since most of them are decorated with horizontal stripes, they only make him look [[Obesity|fatter]].

It is likely that his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] picks out his clothing for him so people will notice the fact that he's [[Autism|"special"]] and treat him with sympathy. [[Fail|We all know how that turned out]].

== Childhood ==
In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and tee shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored tee shirts or shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and television characters on them. The only article of clothing he currently owns that doesn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the Pokémon T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==

[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|right|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

Chris's typical outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a striped/weirdly patterned rugby shirt, which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, manly curves. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) / his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to the Glasses Chain of Fail.
* Jeans (It is likely that he wears women's jeans because they define his rear end to disturbing levels) or khaki slacks.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt.
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existance]].

The newest addition to his wardrobe is the [[muscle bra]].

==The "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBA]]" outfit==
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made [[trolls|friends]], Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a terrible goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (Glasses Chain of Fail remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]

Unconfirmed reports state that he was seen walking around downtown [[Charlottesville]] blasting Guns 'n' Roses from a pocket radio and trying to pick up women.

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white, and blue, implying a patriotic view of the colors.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris' wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_27th%2C_2008|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_18th%2C_2009|3]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_19th%2C_2009|4]] [[CWC's_"It's_All_Coming_Back_To_Me"|5]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|7]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|8]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 22nd, 2009|11]] [[Show_RESPECT_to_me,_"C"CWC|12]] [[Sign_Destruction_Video|13]] [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|14]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_24th%2C_2008|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_Columbus_Day%2C_2008|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_6th%2C_2009|3]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_10th%2C_2009|4]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"The Impostor" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_9th%2C_2008|1]] [[Chop_Chop_Onion's_Rap_Showdown|2]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_17th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_4th%2C_2009|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_27th%2C_2009|3]] [[Challenge_for_Clyde_II|4]] [[15_October_2009|5]] [[9_December_2009|6]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|[[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_12th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_10th%2C_2009|2]] [[Congrats,_Jack_Black|3]]
Image:Christshirt7.png|[[Captain%27s_Log%2C_Stardate_August_3rd%2C_2008|1]]
Image:Christshirt8.png|[[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_12th%2C_2009|1]] [[More_for_the_crabs|2]] [[ECV_00081|3]] [[Bunny_Hop|4]] [[11052009_Kacey,_I_Love_You,_and_I_Need_You|5]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"Two-Faced" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_23rd%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain%27s_Log%2C_Stardate_May_3rd%2C_2009|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_May_3rd%2C_2009|3]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_August_6th%2C_2008|1]] [[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_8th%2C_2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_13th%2C_2008|1]] [[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|[[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_6th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_9th%2C_2009|2]] [[I_am_devoted_to_My_Sweetest_Ivy|3]] [[Matthew_5_27%2C_CWC_Confessions|4]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_17th%2C_2009|5]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_May_22nd%2C_2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9_October_2009|8]] [[Warning_-_Naughty_Women_;)|9]] [[Old_Time_Rock_and_Roll_on_Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal_Legend|11]] [[3_December_2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris_Destroys_His_Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC_only_accepts_IN-PERSON_FEMALE_Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods_Down_and_Listen_Up|8]] [[Hello,_Juffalo|9]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|[[Down with Asperchu|1]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[This was my fault|1]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|2]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|[[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_January_21st,_2009|1]] [[CWC_Callout_for_Miss_Emily_and_Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|3]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris_Chan's_Public_Announcement|1]][[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|2]] [[Kill De Jack|3]]
</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==

[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb]]

Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}

Chris most likely wears it as a counter to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among [[Autism|autistics]], in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

== Cosplaying Chris ==

[[Image:Chris chan cosplay.jpg|thumb|right|Christ, you can tell this world is totally fucked up when people start cosplaying AS Chris!!!]]

Chris appeared in his [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] costume from around [[2000]] to [[2004]]. It was originally created as a Halloween costume in either [[1998]] or [[1999]].<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> He proudly wore it to [[The GAMe PLACe]] every week<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17515#p17515 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> and to the 2004 [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention. With it, he won a costume contest against 5 kids dressed up as Team Rocket. The prize was a t-shirt.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref>

The Ketchum-style trainer outfit consists of:
* Faux-denim vest
* Cut up gardening gloves
* Pokémon League ballcap
* Fanny-pack (Also known as a 'belly-bag' and a 'bum-bag' to Britfags)
The ensemble is usually accompanied by a yellow ''[[Pokémon]]'' tee-shirt, or white ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]'' tee-shirt underneath (see gallery below).

Chris can no longer wear this costume due to his weight.

<center><gallery>
Image:0647-CWCAshAnime.jpg|This is the most depressing thing ever seen by man kind.
Image:0502-CWCAsh3.jpg|HOT ROD 138, I c-ch-choose you~!
Image:502-CWCsAshVest.JPG|Dat hat is a-pretty-a-goddamn dirty
Image:501-100 0534.JPG|A sketch of the costume. It's so brilliant, its voluptuous lines and shading caresses your eyes like a sensual piece of chocolate dipped velvet...
</gallery></center>

==Sauce==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Ruckersville, VA

2010-01-10T09:47:48Z

Sakanz:

'''Ruckersville, Virginia''' is the home of the creature known as [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and the centre of all things [[Sonichu]] ([[Twin Falling Towers|Ground Zero]], if you will). Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the Richmond suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], only to return several years later.

{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" align="right" border="1"
! CWC ON LOCATION
|-
| Photo:
| [[Image:Ruckersville Aerial Map.jpg|thumb]]
|-
| Location:
| Ruckersville, VA
|-
| Coordinates:
| 38°13′59″N 78°22′09″W
|-
| Classification:
| Unincorporated Township
|-
| Date established:
| 1732
|-
| Population:
| 9,935
|-
| Zip/post code:
| 22968
|-
| Area code:
| 434
|-
| Website:
| Unavailable
|-
| Also known as:
| Fuckersville
|-
| Produces:
| Retarded Manchildren
|-
| Current relevance:
| Chris's Hometown
|}

==The Brochure==
Ruckersville, Virginia is a small, unincorporated township on the outskirts of [[Charlottesville, VA]]. A scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views of mountains, trees and farmland. Although though Ruckersville has a small population, it has a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for it's antiques market, new Wal-Mart and with great potential for expansion. Founded in 1732, little has changed. The quiet, peaceful village of long ago is still the quiet, peaceful township of today. A safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to raise a family or [[Bob Chandler|quietly retire]].

==The Truth==
[[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|/this article]]

It's a redneck shithole full of cheap, ugly houses and even uglier lawn furniture. A place where people burn their trash and decorate their yards with junked cars, the human disasters we know as the "[[Chandlers]]" can go ignored and unnoticed. Ruckersville has very little in the way of recognizable landmarks, history, and the only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver Phillip Morris (but who gives a shit about NASCAR?) While most normal young people would resent being stuck in a redneck wonderland like Ruckersville, the lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris, as it's just one more excuse to never leave his room.

==Geography==
The geography of Ruckersville is rather plain, composed mainly if fields light forest and small ugly housing developments extending from the larger town of Charlottesville. Even the terrain is fucking boring. Ruckersville really is a place for people [[Christian Weston Chandler|who prefer to do absolutely nothing with their lives at all]].

==Crime==
Crime rates in Ruckersville are unexpectedly low, with zero murders and only two rapes on [[Chris and sex|record]]. This is surprising when you consider that the only legal forms of entertainment are shopping at Wal-Mart and (according to [http://virginia.hometownlocator.com/va/greene/ruckersville.cfm this website]) [[Mass Debating|bird watching]]. That said, nearby Charlottesville is the regional heart of commerce and entertainment. If Chris is more than happy to waltz over there to [[Chris and the Law|commit his various misdemeanors]], likely so are most others.

==Culture==

==Ground Zero==
It's interesting to note that a ''Google Street View'' of the housing development that contains Chris's home is unavailable. Some theories exist to explain this, the leading being that the bizarre cocktail of smells produced by bathing in [[Chris and health|Axe body spray and intense body odor]] may have simply driven the Google camera car away from that street after the drivers deemed it "too risky." An alternative theory is that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access, that nobody gave a fuck about driving down it.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Ruckersville_Aerial_Map.jpg|Aerial shot of the redneck shithole that is Ruckersville. Chris' home is highlighted with the red mark.
Image:Goin_to_Ruckersville.jpg|Ruckersville lies at the intersection of two major highways. WOW!
Image:Ruckersville_Church.jpg|No redneck town is complete without churches and replaceable letter signs.
Image:Story_of_Ruckersville.jpg|Little did Peter Rucker know that his settlement would be a haven for a retarded manchild... and that it would blow goats.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[14 Branchland Court]]
*[[Charlottesville, VA]]
*[[Chris's room]]

==External links==
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruckersville,_Virginia Wikipedia article]

{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]

Down with Asperchu

2010-01-10T06:52:56Z

Sakanz: tried to make it sound more coherent

Since [[Christian Weston Chandler]] thought he was victorious over the [[Homos|gays]] after getting the despised ads taken off of his [[CWCipedia]], he imposed his [[Chris and anger|wrath]] upon Alec Benson Leary, the creator of [[Asperchu]].

Chris delusionally calls Asperchu [[Chris and hypocrisy|'''fan fiction''']] and a [[parody]], continues to deny any links between [[Asperger's]] and [[autism]], and calls out to his [[fanbase]] not to read any of the Asperchu comics.

For some reason, Chris had started wearing his [[Amnyfest Ring]] around his [[Sonichu medallion]].

==Watch==
{{Tardrage}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Down with Asperchu
| image = {{#ev:youtube|RZelFvv2pas}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 9 January 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Fanartn.PNG‎]] Fan Art
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] [[Rage]]
| Saga = Pending
| previous = [[This was my fault]]
| next = [[ ]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
Currently wearing my ring on my medal, [[Captain's Log]], Stardate January 9th, 2010.

Welp, on the one hand, I am pleased to announce that I have finally got through to their thi-to the homosexuals' thick skulls, that [[I am STRAIGHT|I am straight]] and [[Sonichu 10|I do not care for their kind]].

On the other hand, it backfired on me, because...the sup-because Alec Something paid off Jack Thaddeus for the adspace, and now is falsely ad-and now is wrongfully advertising his FAN FICTION, (''dramatic glasses removal'') and I emphasize fan fiction, and parodic Asperchu.

Not only is he trying to play...on any LINKS on Asperger's and Autism on which there are not. I'm not saying similarities, I'm saying LINKS. Anyway, his character is not only a parody and a-fu-a vulgar fan fiction, of my Sonichu character, but he plays off of my [[obesity|PAST Buddha Belly]], (''in a high girly voice'') and my masculine bosoms!

He is not to be trusted and his comics are not to be read. And therefore, I am making the statement that I have absolutely NO LINK or connections with him whatsoever, Mr. Alec Something and his Asperchu. And therefore, with all that, it is...everything that he draws is NOT in canon with my Sonichu comics or the CWCipedia whatsoever. So, completely abandon him, I say so! I have spoken there!

And also, with HIS placement of my character in HIS comics, I am at this moment and at this date verifying that he is in the WRONG! He is in the wrong, especially with epi-stu-with doing the, with doing it with HIS homosexual take and I do not care for that.

No links, ther-I have no connection or establishments or anything canon between his comics and mine, and his...ver-and his sss-parodic COPYCAT parody of my CWCipedia. So at this moment I will leave you with that,

{{RageQuote|DOWN WITH ALEC AND HIS ''FREAKIN'' ASPERCHU!!!}}

Little sunbitch thinking he tryin' to bribe ME off (''raspberry'') '''HE'S GOT ANOTHER THING COMING! DIE''' you son of a bitch, Alec, die!

But as for everybody else and, uh, as for most everybody else, I say peace, stay safe, and have a good day. And continue to enjoy Sonichu comics, two pages a day.

Byenow.

File:Famewhore.jpg

2010-01-04T05:36:05Z

Sakanz: uploaded "File:Famewhore.jpg"

Chris garnering fame for his yellow copyright infringement.

File:Rubi 110309.jpg

2010-01-04T05:27:57Z

Sakanz: uploaded "File:Rubi 110309.jpg"

Rubi, a Mexican "telenovela" soap opera Chris picked up on DVD through My Coke Rewards.