CWCki - User contributions [en]

Comic Sans

2012-08-15T21:39:40Z

Samboy: Tried to remove the excess Chris bashing. The anti Comic Sans angle seems overdone too.

{{stub}}

[[File:SchuComic10P3.jpg|thumb|You'll see a hell of a lot of it if you read this comic.]]
'''Comic Sans''' (or '''Comic Sans MS''', "Sans" short for "Sans Serif") is a horribly overused font typeface that draws the ire of almost everyone who looks upon it. It was released in 1994 for use in MS Paint by Vincent Connare, but apparently [[Bill Gates]] didn't get the memo and put it in every program released by Microsoft that uses any kind of text manipulation. Ironically, the version of Comic Sans used in Microsoft products has serifs on several letters. The largest groups of people who use it are middle aged office workers who think it makes the company potluck emails look more "fun" and children who don't know any better.

[[Chris]] uses Comic Sans as his de facto font of choice in almost everything he does. Possibly, he thinks by using a font with "comic" in its name will make his work seem more professional. Or, perhaps, its prevalence in the design of horrible free website in the 90's sticks in his head due to an unchanging world view. In truth, the only time Comic Sans is ever appropriate to use is for children's [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stands]] and [[Chris_and_art#Choices_of_materials_and_technology|coloring books]].

==See Also==
* [[Chris and writing]]
* [[Chris and art]]
* Damn near everything with text he's made.

Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE

2012-07-23T09:05:37Z

Samboy: /* Transcript */

'''Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE''' (also known as '''CWC's Important Message 02242007''' and '''Chris Chan's IMPORTANT MESSAGE''') is a 24 February [[2007]] video in which, in celebration of his milestone 25th [[birthday]], [[Chris]] delivers his manifesto and summarizes the lessons he has learned in his life and how they should be applied by future generations of "Ladies and Gentlemen, girls and boys, and dudes of all teenages, as well as the, uh gals."

This video proves that Chris is able to withstand direct sunlight for a considerable time before the inevitable mutation into his [[Rollin' and Trollin'|Vest-Man form]]. Compared to his current habits, Chris appears more confident, stutters less, (though this is probably because he is reading from a script) and is less of a fattie in 2007.

==Intended audience==

As outlined in the video, Chris wanted it to be shown in local schools. To date it hasn't, possibly because the FBI would describe it as "[[wikipedia:Child grooming|grooming]]" children (note that Chris refers to [[wikipedia:Alfred Kinsey|Dr. Kinsey]]). Chris also posted it online as a fan teaser to his shitty autobiographical DVD, [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]], that he was never going to show them regardless. His disappointed fans responded to this catch-22 situation by trolling him and getting their hands on the DVD anyway.

==Rundown==

The video covers a myriad of topics Chris knows nothing about, like how to attract a [[sweetheart]] and how to stay straight.

*Why going to school, like waterboarding, is not torture.
*Why it is important to [[homos|STAY STRAIGHT]]™.
*How to attract a [[sweetheart]].
*Boys should stroke the hair of a [[My Little Pony]] to understand girls.
*Girls should acquire [[Transformers]] to understand boys.
*Why every last ounce of "[[tobacky]]" should be sent to [[the Moon]].
*Why [[Alcohol|drinking]] is bad and leads to bar fights.
*Why anybody who disregards you is a "peanut."
*Why "straying from the straight path" will "jeopardize the entire world and the human race."
*For the love of God, STAY STRAIGHT!!!
*Girls should seriously consider the romantic advances of ugly, dumpy guys, "because they will likely have a [[Lie|better personality]] [...] and they may end up having a brighter [[2011|future]] for themselves."

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|73UsyGYk2FQ}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2007]]
| subject = {{Galpals|text}}, {{Homos|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Television|text}}, Drugs, Alcohol
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}, with jacket
| previous = [[Pixelated_PS3#Video|Pixelated PS3]]
| next = [[Soul_Calibur#Chris_vs_Mary_Lee_Walsh|SOUL CALIBUR: Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]
}}

{{quote|All Views Expressed in this video ARE THOSE TRUE AND SOLID OF MY SOUND MIND AND COMPLETE CONSCIENCE. Especially STAYING STRAIGHT!!!}}

=== Transcript ===

Ahem... hello, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, and dudes of all teenages, as well as the, uh, gals. My name is [[Christian Chandler]]; I am ''here'', and y'all are there. [''chuckles''] This message is for everyone of the present and the future, beyond this date: February 24th, [[2007]]th. My birthday. My twenty-fifth birthday. [''holds up two fingers'']

I am [[Autism|High-Functioning Autistic]], and in my twenty-five years, I have seen and learned so much. And today, I am share—intend to share some wise words that I hope each and every one of you will take to heart and will offer yourself and everyone else a better part of your future.

First off, remember that going to school is not a torture. It is a place of learning, a place for growing, a place where you form the spelling of your own opinions, your own feelings, and your own personality. So learn everything you are able to, and grow with it.

Now, you should also be able to try something for yourself, before forming praise or detest of it. As long as those things will not harm you, or shorten your lifetime in any way, it's totally cool.

What is totally NOT cool, though, is thinking or doing these things, which are very harmful to you, and definitely gr—will gross out those around you that don't do it, because I haven't done it and I don't like it—doing either of them. You should avoid ''at all costs'' [[tobacky|smoking]], drinking [[alcohol]], and then taking any [[semen|similar icky dangerous stuff]]. And smoking will eventually cause cancer, and it will—you'll be more likely to get heart attacks, viruses, and your life will be cut ''drastically'' short. They don't call cigarettes and cigars "death sticks" for nothing, other than killing you slowly. If I could, I would take every last ounce of tobacky, put 'em on a rocket, and shoot 'em up to the [[Moon]]. [''[[Desi]] walks to front of the house in the background''] And for, uh, alcohol, they'll cause, uh, liver dysfunction, kidney prob—kidney failures, and uh, not only that, but, when you get drunk enough, bar fights and automobile accidents. So it's a real slow-acting poison. And I haven't done either one, and look at me now, I'm, uh... [''puffs out his chest as a truck passes by blasting AC/DC from the stereo''] [[Chris and Health|fit as a fiddle]], and I'm livin' twenty-five, hopin' to live on to be about eighty to a hundred. And y'all—hopefully, y'all will get a chance to get up to that ripe old age, as well.

Now, among the better things you should definitely try before despising, is some of the hobbies of those of your own—opposite gender. Like, uh, for example, if you are a young gentleman, I recommend buying yourself a [[My Little Pony]] figure of your favorite color or whatever. Now, uh, stroking the hair of said pony is very relaxing and therapeutic, and also rubbing it against your cheek. That's... nice. And also, uh, you can pretend that, uh, the pony is, uh, that girl you want to take you wanna take out to—you wanna take out sometime, and talk to the pony like you would talk to the girl.

Now for the, uh, ladies I would recommend... a good old Autobot from [[Transformers]]. Because you can get to learn how to examine the mechanics... and variations of... each and every... I mean, of the, uh, Autobot you have... like, uh, you would tr—like you would learn how... [[Duck|a man]]... works. And it'll allow you to feel more comfortable in approaching, and talking to, that boy you've been flirtin' from a distance, or, uh, just have been, uh, flirting with from a distance. And, uh, hopefully, uh, all you have to do is just end up and say "hello". I mean, it's not so hard. All you have to do is say "hello" to the man, ladies; that's all. And everything will just get going from there. And also, uh, with the, uh, Autobot, while it's in vehicle mode you can pret—drive down that imaginary fast lane.

But any—in any case, uh, while few people may ridicule you, you should not worry about it, because most everybody will be o—totally okay with it, because it won't matter. It won't matter, because... [''completely loses his place''] ...they see you enjoyin' it, and it's totally cool, if you're enjoying it. So you enjoy it, just do it—don't worry about other people's opi—pinions. Because, uh, compared to the other schools, those people who disregard you are just total peanuts. And I'm not talkin' Charlie Brown; I'm talkin' 'bout the little nuts after the shells. The real peanut gallery. That would be peanuts, wouldn't it?

Also keep in mind that, while you're playin' with these things, [[Tomgirl Pictures|you should keep in mind of what your true, original gender is]]. Because, uh, it's like you worry about that girl you want to take on a date—YOUNG MAN!—or, uh, likewise, you feel more comfortable to approach that boy—by just saying "hello"—that you've been checkin' out from a distance—YOUNG LADY!—and hopefully in due time or now, each and every one of you will STAY STRAIGHT. You know, girl for boy, boy for girl? Everything else is vice, as said by [[Homos|Doctor Kinsey]]. Not just for me, not for [[Chris and religion|The Big Man Upstairs]], not for your family, but do it for, uh, yourself, and for—and for the benefits of everyone in the future: your children, your children's children... And, besides, if you stray away from the straight path, it can really jeopardize the entire future of the world and the human race.

Also, girls and ladies, don't just go over gaga, over the handsome rich boys... and men... because they may turn out to be disrespectful and distasteful in their personality. You should take into consideration all the other gentlemen that you may have considered, that may be ''less'' attractive, or equally—less or moderately. Because those will—because they will likely have a better personality that you will—that you will generally enjoy and like, and they may end up having a brighter future for themselves. Like, look at me now—I'm shootin' this movie for a DVD... that's gon—that I hope will be shown in a couple of schools, at least.

Now, uh, also, uh... also, when you—when each and every one of you has a true general understanding of the, uh, opposite gender, and after that—finding that special [[Tomgirl Pictures|MAN—LADIES!]]—or that special GIRL—GENTLEMEN!—always keep the... heart and memories of times that you two felt most attracted to each other, because that will be a key point to recovering from any disputes or arguments that you two might have in the future. Otherwise, so you two will just be darn happy with each other. But it's not all always gonna be peaches and cream or strawberry shortcakes. [[Sigh|[''Chris sighs'']]] And also remember, you two should KEEP each other, because there will be nobody else—no matter how much you think about it—nobody else that can replace that special someone—him for her or... her for him—there's just nobody else...there's no substitute for that [[Virgin with rage|first one.]]

And now, I leave you with the lessons that you should have—that I hope you have learned from my message. You should all—you should stay in school, learn as you much. And try before you praise and despise. Never smoke! Never drink! Never worry about how others think of you when you do things... or... when you play with things that may not s—that may not seem like you—or whatever. Don't be afraid to approach those of your opposite gender. And MOST IMPORTANTLY! PLEASE... STAY STRAIGHT. I leave you with those words, as I have shared with you on this, my twenty-fifth birthday, February 24th, 2007. I am "Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler. Live long, and shine on, in your very own unique way. War is never the answer; peace is. Never fight. Compliments will get you [[fuzzy-wuzzies]]. War gets you prickly-wicklies... as well as punches. They get you those, too. Thank you very much, and have a wonderful day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Pixelated PS3]]|nextlink=[[Soul Calibur|Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]|}}

{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-02-24]]

Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)

2012-07-20T13:43:41Z

Samboy:

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Comic CWC.PNG|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 24 February [[Sonichu chronology#1982|1982]] (in universe)
24 March 2005 (IRL)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Species'''
| Human (can transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]])
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Mayor of CWCville
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
|-
|}

[[Image:Chris0.jpg|thumb|<s>Chris's most accurate self portrait</s> [[Sammy|Try this.]]]]
[[Image:CWCFlex.jpg|thumb|Definitely not this one.]]
[[Image:Cwcanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomy analysis of the character]]
'''Christian Weston Chandler''' is a character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]].Within the comic universe, [[Chris]] has portrayed himself as more than a [[Obesity|fat]] [[autism|autistic]] slob who refuses to work; he is the mayor of [[CWCville]], "father" of hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and beloved by all ''despite'' failing almost as much as in real-life.

Despite the sub-episodes ostensibly featuring Real Chris, he can't seem to keep from evoking superpowers and plot contrivances.

==In the comic==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|left|A typical comic depiction of Chris - a tall, broad shouldered, handsome young man. Compare to the real hunched, fatty, double-chinned Chris.]]
[[Image:CWC collage.jpg|thumb|left|Chris is a master of consistency.]]
Chris depicts himself as Mayor of his fictional town, [[CWCville]]. Unlike real life, comic-Chris is popular, good-looking, and surrounded by women (in reality, [[trolls]], [[Gal pal|gal-pals]] who [[Megan Schroeder|hate him]], or fictional creations like [[Allison Amber]]) He also has the ability to change himself into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] and use all the powers of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] at will (thus rendering Sonichu and company completely irrelevant).

Any characteristics comic-Chris possess stems from Chris's attempt to portray himself as the lovable loser type of character, known from any generic romantic comedy. He is noble, brave, intelligent, and surrounded by cartoon characters who fawn over him. But since Chris wants to score some cheap sympathy points, comic-Chris is also portrayed as having trouble with [[Love Quest|finding a girlfriend]] and is shown to have a limited ability to fight off his [[Manajerks|enemies]] and is regularly in need of help from his supportive friends in order to overcome his problems. In the comic, real-life relics like his [[Medallions of Fail|medallion]] aren't handicaps, they're magical objects which can make his [[China|dreams come true]]. He even has a job as Mayor of CWCville, and a [[Allison Amber|doting secretary]] on whom he dumps all his [[Semen|dirty work]], which she takes with a smile.

In other words, comic-Chris is who real Chris really wants to be, effectively making him a self-insert Mary Sue character. This does however, have the unfortunate side effect of making comic-Chris arguably even more murderous and psychotic than the real Chris, primarily due to him possessing the power to actually carry out his [[Death threats|threats]] in an artificial environment where he can kill and maim those who annoy him, and be completely in the right about it.

In the space of only 11 issues, he's [[Gun Comic|blown out]] [[Liquid|someone]]'s kneecaps with a [[Megatron Pistol|handgun]] after he'd surrendered, [[Sonichu #0|destroyed the home life]] of a [[Jerkhief|man]] who was simply doing his job at the place Chris was [[Fuck Quest|soliciting]] at, sealed up and destroyed a populated building whilst ensuring no living thing escaped (and later trying to blame it on the building's lackluster security), destroyed another building full of [[JERKS|people]] whose only crimes were [[troll]]ing, broke into [[Mary Lee Walsh|an old woman]]'s home and brutally attacked her to the extent of causing paralysis, directly ordered the murder of over 1,000 people in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, carried out a mini-Holocaust on [[Homos|homosexual]]s and asexuals, and arranged a [[Sonichu #10|show trial]] for [[Asperpedia Four|four men]] in an openly biased court, before personally executing them in brutal and inhumane ways. Why? For making a [[Asperchu|parody webcomic]].

It should also be noted that he does this all with a [[The Creepy Stare|gleeful smile]] on his face, and with no [[remorse]] or justification for it whatsoever.

===[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]===

Being the narcissistic tool he is, Chris felt it reasonable to add himself into his own comic. Right from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] Chris is depicted on the front cover commanding Sonichu to "Zap to the extreme!", and within the comic itself, congratulating Sonichu for his victory. At this point, not only is Chris drawing himself semi-realistically, but he is still a minor character. ''Sonichu'' #0 is one of the rare issues that is actually based primarily around the idea of Sonichu as the protagonist.

===[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]===

''Sonichu'' #1 is Chris's lowest-key outing to date, merely depicting himself commenting on the actions of the characters, and, bizarrely, his own [[Art|drawing ability]].

===[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]===

Having again drawn himself on the cover, by ''Sonichu'' #2 Chris has turned himself into a fully-fledged main character. Going insane with self-absorption, Chris depicts himself as the embodiment of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] foretold by his [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|ancestors]]. It is in this issue that he first gains his ability to turn into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], an event which will dominate the rest of the series almost to the point of [[Sonichu]]'s redundancy.

===[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]===

After featuring heavily in the previous comic, Chris takes a backseat to the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Sadly, he still can't resist adding his head onto the first page.

===[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]===

The legendary comic made entirely up of sub-episodes about Chris's life. Things get a little confusing because not only are the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] depicted as existing in Real Chris's universe, but he also has super-powers with which to battle the [[jerkop]]s. Again, Chris is depicting himself with selfless friends and powers he wished he actually had, but doesn't. And all the powers and Pokémon in the world still don't stop him getting beaten by the Jerkops or being trolled by [[Hanna]]. This comic also marks the introduction of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], the sister he wishes he had in real life (for [[china|obvious]] reasons).

===[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]===
[[Image:Chris5.jpg|thumb|150px|Manga Chris]]

Real Chris, distraught at discovering [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] is getting married, depicts himself as a noble gentleman who wants what's best for her and allows her to get married. In reality Sarah couldn't care less what Chris thought about her marriage, which renders his acceptance of the wedding null and void. An interpretation could be made that Chris is battling the two versions of himself - the side who wants Sarah all to himself (Real Chris, played by [[Wes Iseli]]) and the side who wants Sarah to be happy (Comic Chris). It probably helped that by this point Chris had transferred his feelings for Sarah over to [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], who makes her début appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]], allowing him to make the noble choice a lot easier than it would have otherwise been.

This comic also introduces the pseudo-manga look (thanks a lot, Megan) that would come to characterize later comics.

By the next episode, things starts to get confusing. Yes, Chris is Mayor of [[CWCville]] and can order around public servants, but he still can't find a [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend]]. Despite this, he continues to depict himself as a noble warrior of [[China|love]], protecting all of [[Virginia]] from [[Mary Lee Walsh|those who would to take it away]].

===[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]===

''Sonichu'' #6 is the first issue to go into detail about how Comic Chris manages to manage running a city while sitting around getting [[Hanna|trolled]]. Opening with Real Chris discovering that his beloved dog [[Patti Chandler]] can talk, the action soon switches to Comic Chris as they enter CWCville. Chris introduces [[Patti-Chan]] to [[Allison Amber]], a Hollywood starlet who gave up her promising career to run CWCville while Chris was sitting in his [[Attraction Location|attraction locations]]. This character is indicative of how Chris portrays himself as so charismatic that young women drop everything to do his bidding. He is the "Big Cheese". Either way, fictional Allison Amber has a boyfriend, so Chris loses out in his own comic yet again.

Comic Chris spends the rest of the comic bemoaning his loneliness, and making veiled hints that [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] is his true [[sweetheart]].

===[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]===
[[Image:Chris7.jpg|thumb|Chris as depicted in ''Sonichu'' #7]]
[[Image:Chrisandsammy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Sammy]] together]]

The megalomania begins on the cover, which is decorated with tiny pictures of the important moments of Chris's life, such as the time he held a basketball or tricked Megan into being photographed with him.

The comic itself revolves around Comic Chris and Megan, who is depicted as struggling with her feelings for Chris (in reality, she hated him). The comic at this point was being used as a tool to attract Megan, so much of the extraneous action is centered on the dating life of the [[Sonichu (species)|sonichus]] as a (barely) veiled hint as to what direction their friendship should take. The courting of Megan is also why it's the most Manga-centric issue to date, as well as the most inconsistent when it comes to Chris's depictions of himself, as he manages to draw himself differently in every frame.

This issue is also notable because it introduces [[Sammy]], a younger version of Comic Chris who is a lot more similar to Real Chris, in that he watches TV on [[Ghostbusters|"ghost command,"]] is [[Obesity|massively overweight]], and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits his pants]].

Halfway through making the comic Chris was being trolled relentlessly, so he responded by trapping himself in the [[Time Void]], and thus removing himself from the direct action.

===[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]===
Unable to keep himself completely out of the action, Chris emerges temporarily from the time void on the 10th floor in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in order to physically assault an employee who is working on a caricature of the [[The Oversized Drinking Straw|over-sized drinking straw]] picture, while [[Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu]] cheer HIM ON in unison. Chris disappears immediately afterward.

===[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]===
Chris still can't help but put himself in the comic, even when he's said to be out of the scene, in issue #9. The first time he shows up is during [[Ivy]]'s "vision" portraying her being with Chris as told by [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]]. The second time is at the end of the comic. In the scene, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Wild Sonichu]] discover the [[Time Void]] and end up pulling Chris out of the void. Fifteen minutes later, Chris, as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], unveils some sort of plan (which is never mentioned) and he races off. On the final page, Chris declares that he, and anyone he created out of his sweetheart search misadventures, will never show up in the pages of his comic again... though the last page presumes that it'll continue in ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''.

===[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]===
Despite the announcement at the end of the previous issue, Chris's character returns and quickly places himself in the middle of the spotlight. Whatever small narrative restraints the character had before are now completely gone, and he works more as a wish-fulfilling Gary Stu than ever. Even worse, Comic Chris has inherited the same exact personality as his real-life counterpart. During the time this issue was being drawn, Chris was boiling with [[Chris and anger|rage]] and [[Death threats|crying for the blood]] of [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Clyde Cash]], [[Evan|and]] [[Asperpedia|every]] [[Alec Benson Leary|other]] [[troll]] and for the [[Christian Love Day|"straightening out"]] of [[homosexual]] [[JERK|males]] due to all the gay ads in his [[CWCipedia]].

At the beginning of the comic Chris discusses the future, wherein he is to be married to a woman named [[Lovely Weather]] and, since he slept with her, he is no longer a virgin. Apparently, homosexuality is such a big problem in the future that Chris was also asked by future scientists to donate some of his "straight" blood so they could use it for a vaccine. Chris, however, hoping to employ it on the homos in the present, sends Magi-Chan back to the future to steal a crate of the vaccine.

Chris moves on to fight some devil trolls who had infested his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|old website]], and then he attacks and destroys 4-cent_garbage.com leaving a hundred people dead in the process, including Jack Thaddeus and Clyde Cash, who are forced to commit suicide.

Chris is then attacked by [[Naitsirhc]], but Chris eventually gets the upper hand and tries out the gay vaccine on him. After Naitsirhc turns back into his old incarnation, Chris declares the vaccine a success, and gives the order to pollute all the drinking water supplies in the world with it, effectually eradicating homosexuality and asexuality (since Chris for some reason does not like that either).

[[Meg Griffin]] suddenly turns up and claims to be fan of [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], much to Chris's pleasure. After beating up some random guy who called Meg "sir" and Chris "madam", he cheats on Lovely Weather by making out with her, after her confirming that she is consensual. Unbeknownst to Chris, Meg is really [[Silvana Rosechu]] in disguise, and Chris has therefore been trolled.

Once again Chris feels the need to apologize without really apologizing, this time to the homosexuals who might have been offended by the fact that he just committed something comparative to genocide against them. With that out of the way, Chris takes out the [[Sonichu Balls]] and transforms into [[Collosal Chan]], and together with Sonichu, who have now been transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]], he sets out to "right some wrongs". Aside from the minor detail of getting [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] out of the mirror, [[Collosal Chan|Hobo Chan's]] main priority is getting rid of [[Asperchu]], which he does by breaking into Asperchu/Alec Benson Leary's house, fingerbanging his "[[Xbox|HEXBox Pavilion]]" to the breaking point and turning Asperchu and the rest of the comic cast into "improved" versions of themselves.

After this, Hobo-Chan fights [[Mary Lee Walsh]], leaving her completely paralyzed and sentenced to a lifetime in CWCville's maximum-security prison (killing her is out of the question after the [[Liquid Chris]] furor). After that, Chris reverts to his human form and gives a speech. Meanwhile, Simonla Rosechu is murdered, and the Asperpedia Four are arrested for the crime. And at the same times as Chris starts giving out blessing and apologies to the Asperpedia Four, they are subjected to a show trial for their crime against him and CWCville, and are brutally executed by the Sonichus, with Chris partaking in Alec's execution by electrocution, and personally carrying out Mao's execution by tearing him apart with his psychic powers.

And so the issue ends with Chris by urging everyone to celebrate his masturbatory holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and leap and dance and sing praise in his name, for great is his wisdom and his benevolence.
===[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]===
Chris has yet to appear in the unfinished ''Sonichu'' #11.

==See also==
{{Fan art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Christian Weston Chandler}}
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Christian Weston Chandler]] – Chris IRL
*[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] – his [[Patti-Chan|furry]] side
*[[Collosal Chan]] - the personification of his God complex
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] – his [[Silvana|feminine]] side
*[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] – his [[homo]] side
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] – his [[Niggos|racist]] side
*[[Sammy]] – his much more [[Honest Content|honest]] self-portrait
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

Sarah Nicole Hammer

2012-07-20T00:43:41Z

Samboy: /* She got hot */

[[Image:0715-ChristianWSarahcropped.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris & Sarah]]

{{quote|Sarah is Christian's Life-Long Best Friend. She is a spunky gal, and she is very pretty. One may say that she is the spitting image of Britney Spears.|[[:Image:298-ACSarahBck.jpg|Animal Crossing card]] describing Sarah Hammer; who looks nothing like [[Britney Spears]]}}

'''Sarah Nicole Hammer''' (born 13 October [[1982]]<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#The Story|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 1</ref>) was the [[Wikipedia:Girl next door|girl next door]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> for [[Chris]] from age 2 until around age 10, when he moved away, whom he apparently considered his closest friend. Chris met Sarah again when he entered [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] when he came back to the county after finishing [[Manchester High School]]. Although by [[2005]] Chris had come to regard Sarah as his best and closest friend however, Chris seems to suggest that he hasn't had much contact with her as compared to his childhood.

As far as can be told, Chris has had no contact with Sarah since he came into [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|the spotlight]], and unlike [[Megan]] there aren't any [[Mimms|trolls]] who know her IRL capable of updating us on her status. There's no evidence to suggest that Sarah has even seen the comics, or has any opinion on them.

==Sarah Hammer in real life==
[[Image:SarahHammerPortrait.jpg|thumb|right|Like anything that looks good in real life, Chris ruins it by drawing it.]]
===Childhood===
{{quote|She brought me a lot out of my [[autism|autistic]] social shell for the time back then.|[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992|Wikipedia autobiography]]}}

Chris continues to cherish many important memories with Sarah, such as riding swing sets, playing hide and seek, and rollerskating.

It is not entirely known if Sarah actually cared about Chris. In [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], Chris recounts a story in which Sarah told Chris that Casper the friendly ghost was hiding under the house. Chris, being as [[Autism|childish]] as he's always known to be, fell for it and went to search for him. When Chris entered the crawlspace, Sarah locked him in and left. Eventually, Sarah's father had to come and get him out.

Sarah also tried to convince Chris to put a honeysuckle in his mouth. Specifically the tip, which is poisonous. Chris almost fell for this one, but his parents caught him and warned him of its dangers. And you know what they say: a girl that tries to kill you isn't really your friend.

Sarah and Chris were the same age and may have attended the same elementary school, but Chris moved to [[Richmond]] to attend middle school. For most normal people this would probably be the end of the relationship.

Chris has suggested that he did not originally view Sarah as a potential [[sweetheart]]; this decision apparently came later, most likely due to autism and a sheltered upbringing.

===She got hot===
Between [[2000]] and [[2003]] Sarah grew up and shed her old image, and became so attractive to Chris that he later called her "a spittin' image of [[Britney Spears]]."<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Over the Years|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 9</ref> It is suggested that people don't find childhood friends to be sexually attractive due to the [[wikipedia:Westermarck Effect|Westermarck Effect]], so either Chris just feels no such effect and would bone a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|sister]] figure, or they didn't know each other well enough as kids for it to take effect. The fact that he thinks she looks like Britney Spears is probably just because she has boobs and long blonde hair. She actually looks nothing like Britney Spears and has a completely different face shape, but Chris is notorious for his poor facial recognition skills. This is the man who had to stare at himself in a mirror for hours to remember what ''he'' actually looked like after all.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24</ref>

===With Wes Iseli===
By Chris's admission, he hadn't had much contact with Sarah after he moved to Richmond, although at some point he apparently concluded that they were destined to be lovers. The revelation that Sarah was dating local magician/heart-throb [[Wes Iseli]] was clearly traumatic for Chris. On one occasion Chris saw Sarah sitting in Wes's lap, which made Chris visibly jealous; this incident was important enough (to Chris, anyway) to document in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]]. A similar freak out occurred when Chris saw Megan sitting on the lap of one of her male friends around the time he was discovered by [[4chan|/v/]], and he still gets insanely jealous whenever he sees a girl sitting on the lap of any other man, likely because it reminds him of the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]].<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Chris is scared of some fanart]]</ref>

Chris regards losing Sarah to Wes as one of the two reasons he launched his [[Love Quest]]. Although this event technically changed nothing—Chris had never had a girlfriend and still did not—it spurred him to action, giving him a reason to actively seek out and obtain a [[Boyfriend-free girl]].

The lyrics of Christian's song "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]" seem to be addressing Sarah, with Chris conceding the impossibility of romantic love and seeking greater fulfillment in a [[friend zone|closer platonic friendship]]. His comparison of "your boyfriend" (presumably Wes) to [[Black Sonichu]] recast himself and the couple into the hero-lover-rival ''troika'' that he developed for [[Sonichu]], and then further refined by featuring Wes as [[Wes-Li Sonichu|an evil hedgehog]] in his own right. Thankfully, Wes's career proved resilient enough to survive the trauma.

To this day, there exist no records of what Sarah's reaction to any of this insanity was, not even in Chris's recounting of the events.

===With William Spicer===
At some point Chris learned that Sarah broke up with Wes and then subsequently met another man, [[William Spicer]], whom she eventually married and now has a child with. The ups and downs of how Chris took this news are captured in how the fictional Chris reacted in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] after Sarah tells him, and in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']] when Chris made a comic adaptation of her wedding. Chris knew so little about Spicer, probably having never met him, that in the comic he decided to depict the groom as a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] character so that he wouldn't have to draw the actual person. If the comic is anything to go by, Chris did not attend the wedding in real life, but quietly accepted Sarah's decision anyway. William Spicer was spared the fate of being made into a one dimensional Sonichu villain like his predecessor was however, though not because Wes had done wrong while William had not, but rather because Wes was unlucky enough to have dated Sarah while Chris was interested in her, while by the time William was marrying her, Chris had already moved on to [[Megan]].

==Sarah in the comic==
Christian first hints at Sarah's involvement in the Sonichu comics in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu #0'']], where he alludes to three mysterious electric hedgehogs: [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and Saramah Rosechu. This is the closest Chris can come to a slow-building long-term mystery, so of course he [[comeuppance|blows his wad]] right away, introducing the revealing the identities of at least two of these characters a few pages afterwards in the [[Classic Sonichu Strips]].

===Sarah Hammer/Nicole Rammer===
[[Image:Sarah hammer reimagined.png|thumb|left|Artist's impression of Sarah Hammer and the Lightning Bracelets.]]

After Chris activated the anchuent powers foretold by the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], Sarah had a vision of the ancient queen of the [[Cherokian Clan]], who explained her role in the prophecy and gave her the Lightning Bracelets. Using the bracelets Sarah could transform into Saramah Rosechu, whose role in the prophecy would be to maintain the balance between Chris-Chan and Wes-Li.

When Sarah discovered these two hedgehogs, they were already locked in battle. Although at first she didn't know who Chris-Chan and Wes-Li were, Saramah quickly learned that the hedgehogs were also her old friend Christian and her recent boyfriend [[Wes Iseli]]. Forced to choose between these two men, Saramah [[Chris and his Ego|remembered who was writing the comic]], so she impaled Wes-Li against a tree and broke up with him, citing his cruelty toward Christian. Saramah actually spent more time dressing down Wes than she did battling [[Count Graduon]], the evil she and the others were prognosticated to defeat.

With Wes quickly departing, Chris and Sarah returned to their human forms and caught up on old times. Chris believed he now had an easy path to becoming Sarah's [[sweetheart]], but unfortunately for him she was already interested in another man, [[William Spicer]].

Though Sarah technically did not appear again until [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']], she did appear in one of the Classic Sonichu Strips from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu #0'']]. The one which she appeared in was reprinted in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']] and established as having taken place a few weeks before the events of Sub-Episode 7.

Later, in ''Sonichu #5'', Chris would invisibly attend Sarah's wedding to William Spicer, being on-hand for Wes-Li's attempt to kidnap her. Using his Chris-Chan Sonichu powers and [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards, Chris rescued Sarah, who then rewarded him by tossing him the bouquet and wished him luck in his pursuit of [[Megan]]. In spite of this issue being based around Sarah's wedding and being intended as a sendoff to her character, she did remarkably little in this story, just [[Women's rights|filling the role of the kidnapped princess]].

Sarah was not seen in the comic for a long time afterwards, but she did appear again in [[Sonichu Special 2]], also known as the Wedding Comic. In this comic, she attends Chris's ill fated marriage to [[Ivy]], dressing [[Tomgirl|in drag]] and acting as the best man, since Chris doesn't actually have any friends other than her who could fill that role other than [[Sonichu|fictional characters]] or possibly [[Bob Chandler|his father]]. One can't shake the feeling that he'd probably ask Sarah to do this in a real life wedding too.

Thanks to the efforts of [[Nintendo]] lawyer [[Jay Z]] during the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Sarah later became one of many characters who had their names [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] in the story, due to being based on real life people. As such, in the [[Sonichu Videobooks]], Sarah Hammer instead became Nicole [[Dildo|Rammer]]. "Nicole," because that's her middle name, and "Rammer" because he's a fucking moron.

===Saramah Rosechu===
[[Image:076-IlluminatingSarahama.jpg|thumb|Not creepy at all.]]

{{quote|Sarhamah's [sic] origin is unknown but her radiance shines brighter than the sun. When she shoots her arrows, they fly like lightning bolts. She is also known as a peaceful protector. And she is lovely, [[Angelica|angelic]], and simply irresistible.|[[:Image:301-ACSarhamahBck.jpg|Sarhamah Rosechu Animal Crossing card]].}}

Most, if not all of Sarah's appearances in Chris's comics are in the form of Saramah [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]], using the powers bestowed upon her by the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] to transform into a furry. She has no actual personality beyond asserting her deep, abiding friendship with Christian, which again suggests that he knows nothing about this person except what he likes to think she feels about him. Sarah is able to activate this form through use of the Lightning Bracelets, which act as her own equivalent to Chris's [[Sonichu Medallion]] or Wes Iseli's Fireshock Pendant.

Prior to the retcon, Saramah Rosechu was a much more sensible name for Sarah's Sonichu form, even if still slightly weird. Since the change however, new readers of the comic who are not aware of the background of the character are just left baffled by the strange notion that a woman named "Nicole" transforms into a hedgehog and is then named "Sarah" for some reason.

Due to her lack of a large role in the comics, Saramah Rosechu doesn't have many powers compared to the other two chosen ones of the prophecy. While Chris and Wes both use weird [[Pokémon]] related attacks or [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards to fight, aside from the retarded Team Blast attack ripped off from ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]'', Sarah is only ever seen using her bow and arrow to fight with. Both the bow and arrow are lightning bolt shaped. They may or may not be literally made of electricity. [[Chris and art|It's hard to tell with Chris's art.]]

===Queen of the Cherokian Clan===
[[Image:Queen_of_the_Cherokian_Clan.PNG|thumb|left|100px|The only picture of her to this date.]]

Wife of the [[ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], and the [[Cherokian Clan]]'s queen.

Little is established about the queen except that she was the object of a rivalry between her husband and his [[Wasabi Rival]]. She would be reincarnated as [[Sarah Hammer]], about whom we know little except that she was the object of a "rivalry" between [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Wes Iseli]]. This is a good example of how Chris's female characters exist only to motivate his male ones and/or be fap material. The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] caused Sarah to learn of her past life and thereby gain the powers of [[Saramah Rosechu]], which she was tutored in using by a vision of the Queen.

The queen hasn't shown up since that single appearance, and considering that Sarah/Saramah has been absent from the comic since getting married in ''Sonichu #5'' save for her brief cameo at Chris's wedding, it's highly unlikely she'll ever show up again.

Oddly enough, of the three ancestors, she is the only one who actually looks something like a Native American; although she's still blonde and blue-eyed, she's wearing a dress that could be made of deerskin, which is the stereotypical way of dressing Native ladies in works of fiction. At least Chris got that part right.

{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:053-SongsBetweenFriendsCD.jpg|A CD for Sarah
Image:297-ACSarah.jpg|"Sarah Hammer" [[Animal Crossing]] Card.
Image:298-ACSarahBck.jpg|Sarah Hammer card back.
Image:300-ACSarhamah.jpg|"Saramah" Animal Crossing Card.
Image:301-ACSarhamahBck.jpg|Saramah card back.
Image:299-SarahHammer.jpg|Picture of human Sarah.
Image:303-Sarhamah.jpg|Picture of furfag Sarah.
Image:302-YuSahramah.jpg|Saramah Rosechu ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card.
Image:304-LightningBracelets.jpg|Lightning Bracelets ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu #2'']]
*[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']]
*[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
*[[Wes Iseli]]
*[[Cherokian Clan]]
*[[Anchuent Prophecy]]
*[[Megan Schroeder]]

{{Sweethearts}}
{{People}}
{{Sonichu}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hammer, Sarah Nicole}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Sarah Nicole Hammer

2012-07-20T00:41:02Z

Samboy: /* She got hot */

[[Image:0715-ChristianWSarahcropped.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris & Sarah]]

{{quote|Sarah is Christian's Life-Long Best Friend. She is a spunky gal, and she is very pretty. One may say that she is the spitting image of Britney Spears.|[[:Image:298-ACSarahBck.jpg|Animal Crossing card]] describing Sarah Hammer; who looks nothing like [[Britney Spears]]}}

'''Sarah Nicole Hammer''' (born 13 October [[1982]]<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#The Story|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 1</ref>) was the [[Wikipedia:Girl next door|girl next door]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> for [[Chris]] from age 2 until around age 10, when he moved away, whom he apparently considered his closest friend. Chris met Sarah again when he entered [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] when he came back to the county after finishing [[Manchester High School]]. Although by [[2005]] Chris had come to regard Sarah as his best and closest friend however, Chris seems to suggest that he hasn't had much contact with her as compared to his childhood.

As far as can be told, Chris has had no contact with Sarah since he came into [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|the spotlight]], and unlike [[Megan]] there aren't any [[Mimms|trolls]] who know her IRL capable of updating us on her status. There's no evidence to suggest that Sarah has even seen the comics, or has any opinion on them.

==Sarah Hammer in real life==
[[Image:SarahHammerPortrait.jpg|thumb|right|Like anything that looks good in real life, Chris ruins it by drawing it.]]
===Childhood===
{{quote|She brought me a lot out of my [[autism|autistic]] social shell for the time back then.|[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992|Wikipedia autobiography]]}}

Chris continues to cherish many important memories with Sarah, such as riding swing sets, playing hide and seek, and rollerskating.

It is not entirely known if Sarah actually cared about Chris. In [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], Chris recounts a story in which Sarah told Chris that Casper the friendly ghost was hiding under the house. Chris, being as [[Autism|childish]] as he's always known to be, fell for it and went to search for him. When Chris entered the crawlspace, Sarah locked him in and left. Eventually, Sarah's father had to come and get him out.

Sarah also tried to convince Chris to put a honeysuckle in his mouth. Specifically the tip, which is poisonous. Chris almost fell for this one, but his parents caught him and warned him of its dangers. And you know what they say: a girl that tries to kill you isn't really your friend.

Sarah and Chris were the same age and may have attended the same elementary school, but Chris moved to [[Richmond]] to attend middle school. For most normal people this would probably be the end of the relationship.

Chris has suggested that he did not originally view Sarah as a potential [[sweetheart]]; this decision apparently came later, most likely due to autism and a sheltered upbringing.

===She got hot===
Between [[2000]] and [[2003]] Sarah grew up and shed her old image, and became so attractive to Chris that he later called her "a spittin' image of [[Britney Spears]]."<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Over the Years|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 9</ref> Normally, people don't find childhood friends to be sexually attractive due to the [[wikipedia:Westermarck Effect|Westermarck Effect]], so either Chris just feels no such effect and would gladly bone a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|sister]] figure, or they didn't know each other well enough as kids for it to take effect. Most likely the latter. The fact that he thinks she looks like Britney Spears is probably just because she has boobs and long blonde hair. She actually looks nothing like Britney Spears and has a completely different face shape, but Chris is notorious for his poor facial recognition skills. This is the man who had to stare at himself in a mirror for hours to remember what ''he'' actually looked like after all.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24</ref>

===With Wes Iseli===
By Chris's admission, he hadn't had much contact with Sarah after he moved to Richmond, although at some point he apparently concluded that they were destined to be lovers. The revelation that Sarah was dating local magician/heart-throb [[Wes Iseli]] was clearly traumatic for Chris. On one occasion Chris saw Sarah sitting in Wes's lap, which made Chris visibly jealous; this incident was important enough (to Chris, anyway) to document in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]]. A similar freak out occurred when Chris saw Megan sitting on the lap of one of her male friends around the time he was discovered by [[4chan|/v/]], and he still gets insanely jealous whenever he sees a girl sitting on the lap of any other man, likely because it reminds him of the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]].<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Chris is scared of some fanart]]</ref>

Chris regards losing Sarah to Wes as one of the two reasons he launched his [[Love Quest]]. Although this event technically changed nothing—Chris had never had a girlfriend and still did not—it spurred him to action, giving him a reason to actively seek out and obtain a [[Boyfriend-free girl]].

The lyrics of Christian's song "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]" seem to be addressing Sarah, with Chris conceding the impossibility of romantic love and seeking greater fulfillment in a [[friend zone|closer platonic friendship]]. His comparison of "your boyfriend" (presumably Wes) to [[Black Sonichu]] recast himself and the couple into the hero-lover-rival ''troika'' that he developed for [[Sonichu]], and then further refined by featuring Wes as [[Wes-Li Sonichu|an evil hedgehog]] in his own right. Thankfully, Wes's career proved resilient enough to survive the trauma.

To this day, there exist no records of what Sarah's reaction to any of this insanity was, not even in Chris's recounting of the events.

===With William Spicer===
At some point Chris learned that Sarah broke up with Wes and then subsequently met another man, [[William Spicer]], whom she eventually married and now has a child with. The ups and downs of how Chris took this news are captured in how the fictional Chris reacted in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] after Sarah tells him, and in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']] when Chris made a comic adaptation of her wedding. Chris knew so little about Spicer, probably having never met him, that in the comic he decided to depict the groom as a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] character so that he wouldn't have to draw the actual person. If the comic is anything to go by, Chris did not attend the wedding in real life, but quietly accepted Sarah's decision anyway. William Spicer was spared the fate of being made into a one dimensional Sonichu villain like his predecessor was however, though not because Wes had done wrong while William had not, but rather because Wes was unlucky enough to have dated Sarah while Chris was interested in her, while by the time William was marrying her, Chris had already moved on to [[Megan]].

==Sarah in the comic==
Christian first hints at Sarah's involvement in the Sonichu comics in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu #0'']], where he alludes to three mysterious electric hedgehogs: [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and Saramah Rosechu. This is the closest Chris can come to a slow-building long-term mystery, so of course he [[comeuppance|blows his wad]] right away, introducing the revealing the identities of at least two of these characters a few pages afterwards in the [[Classic Sonichu Strips]].

===Sarah Hammer/Nicole Rammer===
[[Image:Sarah hammer reimagined.png|thumb|left|Artist's impression of Sarah Hammer and the Lightning Bracelets.]]

After Chris activated the anchuent powers foretold by the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], Sarah had a vision of the ancient queen of the [[Cherokian Clan]], who explained her role in the prophecy and gave her the Lightning Bracelets. Using the bracelets Sarah could transform into Saramah Rosechu, whose role in the prophecy would be to maintain the balance between Chris-Chan and Wes-Li.

When Sarah discovered these two hedgehogs, they were already locked in battle. Although at first she didn't know who Chris-Chan and Wes-Li were, Saramah quickly learned that the hedgehogs were also her old friend Christian and her recent boyfriend [[Wes Iseli]]. Forced to choose between these two men, Saramah [[Chris and his Ego|remembered who was writing the comic]], so she impaled Wes-Li against a tree and broke up with him, citing his cruelty toward Christian. Saramah actually spent more time dressing down Wes than she did battling [[Count Graduon]], the evil she and the others were prognosticated to defeat.

With Wes quickly departing, Chris and Sarah returned to their human forms and caught up on old times. Chris believed he now had an easy path to becoming Sarah's [[sweetheart]], but unfortunately for him she was already interested in another man, [[William Spicer]].

Though Sarah technically did not appear again until [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']], she did appear in one of the Classic Sonichu Strips from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu #0'']]. The one which she appeared in was reprinted in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']] and established as having taken place a few weeks before the events of Sub-Episode 7.

Later, in ''Sonichu #5'', Chris would invisibly attend Sarah's wedding to William Spicer, being on-hand for Wes-Li's attempt to kidnap her. Using his Chris-Chan Sonichu powers and [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards, Chris rescued Sarah, who then rewarded him by tossing him the bouquet and wished him luck in his pursuit of [[Megan]]. In spite of this issue being based around Sarah's wedding and being intended as a sendoff to her character, she did remarkably little in this story, just [[Women's rights|filling the role of the kidnapped princess]].

Sarah was not seen in the comic for a long time afterwards, but she did appear again in [[Sonichu Special 2]], also known as the Wedding Comic. In this comic, she attends Chris's ill fated marriage to [[Ivy]], dressing [[Tomgirl|in drag]] and acting as the best man, since Chris doesn't actually have any friends other than her who could fill that role other than [[Sonichu|fictional characters]] or possibly [[Bob Chandler|his father]]. One can't shake the feeling that he'd probably ask Sarah to do this in a real life wedding too.

Thanks to the efforts of [[Nintendo]] lawyer [[Jay Z]] during the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Sarah later became one of many characters who had their names [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] in the story, due to being based on real life people. As such, in the [[Sonichu Videobooks]], Sarah Hammer instead became Nicole [[Dildo|Rammer]]. "Nicole," because that's her middle name, and "Rammer" because he's a fucking moron.

===Saramah Rosechu===
[[Image:076-IlluminatingSarahama.jpg|thumb|Not creepy at all.]]

{{quote|Sarhamah's [sic] origin is unknown but her radiance shines brighter than the sun. When she shoots her arrows, they fly like lightning bolts. She is also known as a peaceful protector. And she is lovely, [[Angelica|angelic]], and simply irresistible.|[[:Image:301-ACSarhamahBck.jpg|Sarhamah Rosechu Animal Crossing card]].}}

Most, if not all of Sarah's appearances in Chris's comics are in the form of Saramah [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]], using the powers bestowed upon her by the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] to transform into a furry. She has no actual personality beyond asserting her deep, abiding friendship with Christian, which again suggests that he knows nothing about this person except what he likes to think she feels about him. Sarah is able to activate this form through use of the Lightning Bracelets, which act as her own equivalent to Chris's [[Sonichu Medallion]] or Wes Iseli's Fireshock Pendant.

Prior to the retcon, Saramah Rosechu was a much more sensible name for Sarah's Sonichu form, even if still slightly weird. Since the change however, new readers of the comic who are not aware of the background of the character are just left baffled by the strange notion that a woman named "Nicole" transforms into a hedgehog and is then named "Sarah" for some reason.

Due to her lack of a large role in the comics, Saramah Rosechu doesn't have many powers compared to the other two chosen ones of the prophecy. While Chris and Wes both use weird [[Pokémon]] related attacks or [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards to fight, aside from the retarded Team Blast attack ripped off from ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]'', Sarah is only ever seen using her bow and arrow to fight with. Both the bow and arrow are lightning bolt shaped. They may or may not be literally made of electricity. [[Chris and art|It's hard to tell with Chris's art.]]

===Queen of the Cherokian Clan===
[[Image:Queen_of_the_Cherokian_Clan.PNG|thumb|left|100px|The only picture of her to this date.]]

Wife of the [[ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], and the [[Cherokian Clan]]'s queen.

Little is established about the queen except that she was the object of a rivalry between her husband and his [[Wasabi Rival]]. She would be reincarnated as [[Sarah Hammer]], about whom we know little except that she was the object of a "rivalry" between [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Wes Iseli]]. This is a good example of how Chris's female characters exist only to motivate his male ones and/or be fap material. The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] caused Sarah to learn of her past life and thereby gain the powers of [[Saramah Rosechu]], which she was tutored in using by a vision of the Queen.

The queen hasn't shown up since that single appearance, and considering that Sarah/Saramah has been absent from the comic since getting married in ''Sonichu #5'' save for her brief cameo at Chris's wedding, it's highly unlikely she'll ever show up again.

Oddly enough, of the three ancestors, she is the only one who actually looks something like a Native American; although she's still blonde and blue-eyed, she's wearing a dress that could be made of deerskin, which is the stereotypical way of dressing Native ladies in works of fiction. At least Chris got that part right.

{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:053-SongsBetweenFriendsCD.jpg|A CD for Sarah
Image:297-ACSarah.jpg|"Sarah Hammer" [[Animal Crossing]] Card.
Image:298-ACSarahBck.jpg|Sarah Hammer card back.
Image:300-ACSarhamah.jpg|"Saramah" Animal Crossing Card.
Image:301-ACSarhamahBck.jpg|Saramah card back.
Image:299-SarahHammer.jpg|Picture of human Sarah.
Image:303-Sarhamah.jpg|Picture of furfag Sarah.
Image:302-YuSahramah.jpg|Saramah Rosechu ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card.
Image:304-LightningBracelets.jpg|Lightning Bracelets ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu #2'']]
*[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']]
*[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
*[[Wes Iseli]]
*[[Cherokian Clan]]
*[[Anchuent Prophecy]]
*[[Megan Schroeder]]

{{Sweethearts}}
{{People}}
{{Sonichu}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hammer, Sarah Nicole}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Gitar of Fail

2012-07-18T19:12:17Z

Samboy: /* Guitar Hero III version */ Chris seems more smug than bored and given the nature of the video the photo is from I felt 'quietly confident' was better suited.

[[Image:Gitar.jpg|right|thumb|200px|The gitar in the image that won him $400 from [[GameStop Guitar Hero Contest|GameStop]] (''Guitar Hero III'' version)]]
[[Image:CWCAdultChronicles.jpg|left|thumb|150px|The Gitar of Fail is seen on Chris's back here.]]

The '''Gitars of Fail''' are Chris's custom painted ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' guitar controllers that make appearances in several videos. They are not mere game controllers, however; Chris likes to pose with the controllers, for example in [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] as well as several videos.

The Gitars also make many appearances in the comics, for example [[Revive Zordon|when going Jericho on 4-Cent Garbage]], and also on the cover of his mocked-up copy of [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]. He appears to think [[Chris and Reality|that it counts as an actual instrument and gives him the skill to really play a guitar.]]

<div style="text-align:center;">'''Fun Fact: He fails at using the guitar strap.'''</div>

== Gitars through the ages ==
Chris made [[wikipedia:Robert Kotick#Controversy|Bobby Kotick]] a ''very'' happy man. Judging from [[100 2278|the most recent photos from Chris's room]] from [[October 2010]], Chris currently has ''at least'' five Gitars of Fail:

* The ''Guitar Hero 5'' version, which Chris hasn't managed to mod to the extreme just yet.
* The ''Guitar Hero III'' Les Paul version, with [[Sonichu]] paintjob.
* The ''Guitar Hero I/II'' Gibson SG version, turquoise with the [[America]]n flag stripes and tons of stickers.
* A mostly [[black]] one.
* A worn one, making its appearance in [[Victory Rockout]] video in August 2011. Chris got this from a garage sale, bundled with an unspecified game.

It's not clear why Chris would buy more than one controller, as the controllers are mostly compatible with newer games and he obviously has no friends to play with. Why he keeps collecting ''more'' of them after the ''Guitar Hero'' line has been discontinued is anyone's guess. But then again, common sense has never had much to do with his video game purchasing decisions.

He may have had even more of them, as he sold another ''Guitar Hero III'' Les Paul on [[eBay]] in September 2009. He also had a customized ''Rock Band'' Stratocaster known as "[[Things Chris has ripped off|Meatwad's Shredwud]]," appeared in a video Chris recorded in [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|October 2009]]. Chris hocked this guitar on eBay around the same time, effectively [[Jimmy Hill|selling a product]] identical to another cartoonist's intellectual property.

==Appearances==
*The Gitar appeared in the [[PS3 History Level]] video.
*In [[Power]], the [[Nudes|half-naked]] Chris lifts it above his head in a show of [[I AM STRONG|strength]], before miming playing it, namely by wiggling his fingers and screeching.
*In Chris's [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|music video]] for [[Ivy]], he uses the Gitar extensively to rock out for her. In this video, it appears that Chris has further decorated the Gitar since he [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|first introduced it]] in October 2008.
*It appears again when Chris [[100 2266|cosplays as Grimace.]]
*He occasionally mimes out the main guitar riff in his [[CWC "Boyfriend"|"Boyfriend" video.]]

==Guitar Hero III version==
<center><gallery>
Image:CWCGitarPlaying.jpg|Quietly confident.
Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|The funny thing is, there are no guitar solos in the song "Holding Out For a Hero"... at all.
Image:CWCShred.jpg|Not even guitar parts, I'm afraid.
</gallery></center>

== Guitar Hero II version ==
<center><gallery>
Image:515-CustomGuitar2.JPG|Closeup of the body. Note how the paint looks like poster paint, since Chris's greasy hands would wipe off watercolor.
Image:516-CustomGuitar3.JPG|Neck of guitar controller. Notice Chris's pic of himself playing guitar is on his guitar on the body AND the fret board. Also, transformation sequence of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].
Image:517-CustomGuitar4.JPG|Head. Notice the Sonichu sticker.
Image:514-CustomGuitar1.JPG|Chris showing it off (to himself, at least).
</gallery></center>

==See also==
* [[GameStop Guitar Hero Contest]]
* [[Chris and music]]
* [[Guitar Hero]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

My big 18th party

2012-07-18T17:12:10Z

Samboy: /* Chris's story */ I assume Chris was given a planner and not a piece of hardware.

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:0491-CWC18th23.jpg|thumb|200px|It was simpler times for Chris back when he was 18 - five young, attractive women were in his house and he was more interested in a Sega Dreamcast he got.]]
'''My Big 18th Party''' was a short text [[Christian]] wrote about his birthday in [[2000]]. It was written on 10 February [[2003]], and published the next year, in the third issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]''.

The story depicts what is perhaps the high-point of his life, so much so that he still wrote about it 3 years later. This was the only time Chris ever interacted with his gal pals outside of school hours.<ref>[[Kacey Call 20]]</ref>

The end of the poem is left hauntingly open, daring the reader to plumb the darkest depths of his or her imagination to find what this fevered wish of a madman rising could possibly be.

'''SPOILER ALERT:'''

It was to get some [[china]].

==Chris's story==
<center>'''My Big 18th Party'''<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews3.htm Sonichu's Poetry Corner (SND #3)]</ref> 
''By. Christian W. Chandler
February 10, 2003'' 

I will never forget my eighteenth birthday party; it was the best of the rest. The weekend before my real birthday, [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I prepared for the party I was going to host that day. We hung balloons and streamers, and we laid [[CWC Cola|refreshments]] on the table. At the door was four of my [[gal pals|high school *amigas]], and one of them brought a [[Lesbian|friend]]. We ate pepperoni pizza and drank Pepsi, it was great. As mother lit the candles, I was filling up with ecstasy. After I blew the candles, I was presented with… a big jawbreaker from [[Kellie Andes|Kellie]], an R.L. Stine novel from [[Sarah Hammer|Sarah]], a planer [''sic''] with stickers from Miranda and a rabbit doll with jelly beans from [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]]. We watched [[Wikipedia:Good Burger|Good Burger]] and had fun. After they left, it was done. What did I wish for? 
[[China|I’m not telling.]] 8)</center>

==Images from Chris's 18th birthday==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0465-CWC18thBalloons.jpg
Image:0466-CWC18th1.jpg
Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg
Image:0471-CWC18th2.jpg
Image:0472-CWC18th3.jpg
Image:0473-CWC18th4.jpg
Image:0475-CWC18th6.jpg
Image:0476-CWC18th7.jpg
Image:0477-CWC18th8.jpg
Image:0478-CWC18th9.jpg
Image:0480-CWC18th11.jpg
Image:0481-CWC18th12.jpg
Image:0483-CWC18th14.jpg
Image:0484-CWC18th15.jpg
Image:0485-CWC18th16.jpg
Image:0486-CWC18th17.jpg
Image:0487-CWC18th18.jpg
Image:0488-CWC18th19.jpg
Image:0489-CWC18th21.jpg
Image:0490-CWC18th22.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references />

 
 
{{Writings}}

[[Category:Non-fiction]]

Kacey Call 20

2012-07-18T17:09:51Z

Samboy: Chris was heavily prompted into talking about friends it seems. Reworded a sentence to reflect this.

File Name: kc92109.mp3

*[[Chris]] and Kacey talk about his friends in [[high school]]. He said his friends only would hang out with him at school, with the exception of his 18th [[birthday]].
*Chris has his interview at [[Target]] tomorrow.
*Kacey talks about ''The Office'' (TV show), and Chris gets kind of pissy and says he's never seen it.
*Kacey asks where Chris sees himself in five years. Chris says he will be married and have a [[daughter]]. Kacey says that she was talking about a career, not his personal life.
*Chris says that he sees himself in a management position at Target in five years.
*Chris says he will tell Target that he was laid off from his last job for "personal differences".
*When asked about what his weakness in the workplace would be, Chris couldn't come up with an answer for three minutes. Eventually he said he needs to be told what to do.
*Kacey spend a while coaching Chris on his interview.
*Chris would be making $8.50 an hour.
*Kacey does a roleplay with Chris to see if he would be good at his job. This involves Kacey just screaming at Chris saying "I WANT A REFUND! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!" until Chris says that he will give her [[money]].
*Chris doesn't realize that Target and [[Walmart]] have different rules and regulations.

==Transcript==
==Part 1==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 20 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|_vSKKYhx2xc}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 19]]
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </Center>
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey, how are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm okay, how are you? [''long pause''] I said I'm okay, how are you? [''audio is garbled'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um, I'm good, um, I didn't actually have work today, I just had school, so, you know, I just hung out with some friends because hanging out with friends is awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is. Yeah, I hung out with my friends a lot back in high school as well, you know. I miss those days. Sometimes.
 '''Kacey:''' What did you do with your friends back then?
 '''Chris:''' Well, you know, we hung around- we hung around at school- we hung around during school time. I don't think we did much hanging outside of the school time, though, um… But, yeah, we enjoyed each others company, it was good. And then, and we all, and I also had my friend- I also had my- had all my friends over for my 18th birthday party, which was- which was- which is really nice
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I mean I miss high school, too, but um, you know, I grew up. I got better friends.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So, tomorrow's the big day, I mean shouldn't uh- are you going to get lots of sleep?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna get- Yeah, I'm gonna get plenty of sleep that's no problem. That's no problem, I'm going to get plenty of sleep.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. So what are you gonna wear?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got my clothes picked out, I got a nice uh- I got my nice dress shirt uh, gonna wear t- a white t-shirt underneath it got my- got my black pants picked out and, uh, i got my blazer and I'm not wearing the medallion.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but you're gonna wear a tie, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I don't know where my tie is.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you, uh, know how to tie a tie? I mean 'cause you should really go get one, I mean you should buy one if you can.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well I'll think about that but anyway I do know how to tie a tie
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should because studies show that, uh, having a tie gets you, um, points right off the bat.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Well if I can find my tie I will wear it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well you should because they make you look professional and you wanna give, um, you know, the best impression that you can.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. Most certainly do, yep.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I mean haven't you watched The Office? Everyone wears ties there.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, I think we've established that I haven't watched The Office.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you said you watched a couple episodes? Oh well! Must have misheard you! So… [''Chris: "Yeah."''] So, um, and remember breakfast is important, so what are you are you going to have before you go?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna- I'm gonna have a bowl of oatmeal. Some milk with that.
 '''Kacey:''' You should, uh, definitely have some orange juice instead, you know, Vitamin C will perk you up.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, okay, I'll have some orange juice, we have some of that. Okay, yeah, so I'll have some oatmeal with orange juice.
 '''Kacey:''' So, are you fully prepared, um, for the interview? Like, you know, um, certain questions they're going to ask, have you Googled any of this? ["Chris: "Yeah.""] 'Cause you have to be prepared for any question.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel prepared.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, like… Okay. Um, let's do a sample question. Where do you see yourself in five years?
 '''Chris:''' Hm, well. I'd like to think that- that in five years I'll be uh… I'll be happily married and have my- and will have our- with my wife and, uh, we'll have our daughter.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, they're not gonna want to know about that, they're going to want to know about your ''professional'' life. I mean, that has nothing to do with the job, they don't care. Um, how do you see yourself in f- where do you see yourself in five years ''professionally''? I mean, like they're going to want you to talk about a career or something.
 '''Chris:''' I never know how to answer that question professionally. I mean- yeah- I mean my mind's blank.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're going to have to that's a common question they're going to ask that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. That is a common question. Um…
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you could always go the "I think I want to be in management" you know, tell them you want to climb up the corporate ladder. Um, you could tell them that you are working on a degree or something or you're going to go back to school… I mean, you gotta have something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh… Okay, well, yeah. Management that sounds good. Yeah, I see myself in a management position.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, okay so how are you gonna phrase that to them? They're going to want you to elaborate on it. You can't be too wordy but you can't be too concise, either.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well… Alright, well. I see myself in a management position and I'm doing- and I'm- and I'm doing a good job organizing it. Ugh…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, just say that you want to see yourself progress in the company. I mean, you're going say something like, you know, I want to have more responsibility, I want to be able to do more, I feel that I can handle it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I see myself, uh, handling the, uh, selfish responsibilities in a management job at this company.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, 'cause I mean you don't want to suck up to them too much, but you gotta know something about it, you gotta know how things work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You just say I would like to see myself progress at this company, um, I can see myself doing good things in the future. You don't want to be too, um… You want to keep it general.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You want to take on responsibilities and see yourself progress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well I s-
 '''Kacey:''' But you don't want to suck up and be like "oh I love Target and I've always wanted to work at Target," 'cause they're not going to believe you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, that's uh- that's uh, that's a given, that- that's uh- that would be a bad thing to say, yeah… at the time. Hm, so, yeah, I ap- I see myself, you know progressing, into like a management position
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no. Don't, don't, don't, uh, be general. Be vague. Be like "I want to see myself progress inside this company, uh where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Chris:''' I wanna see myself progress in this company where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, okay now they're going to ask you something like "why'd you leave your last job?," what are you going to say for that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I was laid off for personal differences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, that's right, [[Kim]] told you to say that, correct?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Um, and remember if they ask you if you want this job or need this job, you want the job. You don't want to seem desperate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I want this job.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, so they're going to ask you also, um, probably "what are your best skills that are going to apply to this job?"
 '''Chris:''' Well, I feel like I have good social skills. I have, uh, good physical strength. I have- I can- I have, uh, experience in computer- in computer- in, uh, computer upgrading and maintenance.
 '''Kacey:''' That's good, the computer would actually be good. You should definitely say that one.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay… I will say that one. The computer management, uh- the computer upgrade, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but they're ask- they're also gonna ask what your major weakness is. So what are you gonna say with that? Because you want to be honest but you don't want to be too honest.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ask me what my weaknesses
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, what your weaknesses are?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. [''long pause as Chris is dumbfounded at the question''] Yeah, that's a good question, uh, let me think further abou- let me think further about that. Um...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're going to have to be quick on your feet in this interview, Chris, you don't want to act like everything's rehearsed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well I'm not even sure what- Hm. Um… [[Chris_and_his_Ego|Weaknesses]], [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|weaknesses]]… Um… Okay, um… I guess thing like, you know… Hm. If th-there's a point in between the- there's a point where- I'm not where I'm not working I'm like static, um-
 '''Kacey:''' -So, basically you're going to say sometimes you like routines?
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Okay, yeah, that's yeah oh I never thought about that, yeah routines. Yeah, I'm a man of rou- I'm a ma- [while stuttering, Kacey begins talking]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, then say something like you like to stick to one routine, um, but then say but you would ''like'' to be more flexible.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I would like to stick to a routine
 '''Kacey:''' You like to stick to routines, but you- no, no, no. You stick to routines too much, but you would like to learn to be flexible in the future.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, that's my weakn- that's my weakness [''speaking quickly, sounds like he says "witness"''] I do tend to stick to routines
 '''Kacey:''' Right, but you want to say you're willing to work on that. Um, let's see, another com-
 '''Chris:''' -But I- But I want- But I'm willing to be more flexible… In the future.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, yes. You s- You wanna say you want to learn to, you wanna let them know that, um, you're- you know that you- that you need to learn things. But um, anyway, another common question is uh "do you prefer to work by yourself or with others?"
 '''Chris:''' I am willing- I… Sometimes-sometimes I like working by myself but- but I like working with others as well.
 '''Kacey:''' A good thing to say is you generally do very well working in a group, however, uh, you are very capable of taking on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I prefer working- okay, well generally I like working in a group but I prefer taking on tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' No, say you ''can'' work in a group. Say that you are very adapt [''sic, presumedly "adept?"''] in working in a group, but can also take on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' I am adapt [''again pronounced "adapt"''] in working in a group, but I am capable of taking care of tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Okay and um, then they're going to ask you the most important thing "what salary are you expecting?"
 '''Chris:''' …Well, they've already gave me the uh rate of 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay then you know that's already settled.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [''chuckling softly''] That's already settled. Yeah-she-ye-they told me that-yeah, she told me that over the, uh, phone. You know, that uh they're going to pay me 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well what hours are you gonna say that you're going to work, or did they already have that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'd have been like six to eight hours in the day.
 '''Kacey:''' Yep, that's a standard, uh, shift. So are you going part time or full time?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they said they're starting me off part time.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um, and so I guess you're going to definitely be doing some weekend work in there because normally they won't even hire people who won't work on the weekends or holidays.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm going t-uh, yeah I will work on the weekends.
 '''Kacey:''' Good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay then. Alright, lemme see, um… Alright, in reference to the "in where do I see myself in five years…" Well, yeah. I'd like to think that I like to uh, I'd like to think that I am- I'd like to see myself uh, building up uh more- building up in… building up s-… in strength? And also taking in more responsibilities. [''long pause''] Uh… Is that right? I'm not sure it's right, the first half of that.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, say it again?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I say- I-I see myself uh going- going up… in the company and taking in more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' If you say, uh, you're- you want to progress in the company, that's going to sound a lot more professional and it sounds like you know what you're talking about.
 '''Chris:''' I want to- yeah, yeah I see myself progressing in the company [''Kacey: "Yes."''] taking more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Yes, that's good. Um, let's see. The one thing they're gonna ask you is "what have you learned from your past jobs?"
 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Mm. Yeah, I have learned, uh… I have learned some ins and out I- I've learned some socialization--

==Part 2==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 20 Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|ZlZOliyGH08}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 21]]
}} </Center>

 '''Chris:''' --skills… Mm. I have learned uh, how much- I have learned uh, [[11042009_51_50|how much heavy weight I can take]]. Mm...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. They're not gonna really care about- say okay- you learned how to be more sociable, and, you learned the ins and outs of a working environment.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah. I've learned the ins and outsa working environment.
 '''Kacey:''' [''keyboard typing in background''] Yes. Okay um. Another question they're gunna ask you is. Um. uh. Also mention that- ah- you are good with dealing with c- ah- customers as well as their pr- fixing their problems efficiently. Um, and another question they're gonna ask is, usually, "How do you think you're education is prevail- has prepared you for this position?" [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' My education has prepared me... with a techna- technological experiences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well if you're just stocking, how is that going to help you?
 '''Chris:''' If I'm s- if I'm- yeah. Well… My education is uh. H-Has prepared me with org- with good organization skills. And uh. I'm- and a general understanding on how things are supposed to be put in what order. And uh… To follow such order.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay yeah. That's good, that's actually good it keeps you organized, and um, that's actually pretty good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' So, um, hopefully you do really well.
 '''Chris:''' I'll do my best anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I think with all the prepping Kim and I gave you you're going to be really good. That's going to be good just remember to- um, sound professional, but you don't want to be too personal.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Professional but not too- but not too personal.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh and smile. Smile a lot. But not a very big smile, you just want to seem friendly and approachable. Um...
 '''Chris:''' That's not a problem, I- I- I intend to smile.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um well let's say [''laughing''] um, let's say they um… Some interviews they'll ask you to, uh, do a role-play to see how you handle problems within your um, your uh- fellow employees as well as a customer. Uh, did you want to try one, like with a- you can pretend to be a Target associate and I can pretend I'm a customer.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, but just to let you know in the uh in the thing- application I filled out online, they had the- it had the questions upon those situations- up on such situations.
 '''Kacey:''' I know but on paper's a lot different than it is when you're there.
 '''Chris:''' Or- or rather would you say ''on screen''? 'Cause it was- it was- I di- [''stutters beyond comprehension''] cause I did the thing online. [''slight chuckle'']
 '''Kacey:''' I know but those are just to screen people. Um, but yeah, it's still written word.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay well, alright well, let's go though a couple.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' Let me… Uh, let's see here. You are in customer service and- Okay, you're in customer service and I'm coming up to your line. Okay, I just got to your line, what's the first thing you say? Then we'll go ahead and go.
 '''Chris:''' Okay… [''Chris's voice goes even higher for his "friendly voice"''] Good afternoon, ma'am, may I help you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''loudly and irritated''] I want a refund, where's your manager?
 '''Chris:''' Heh, okay… Well I, well let's see ma'am, uh okay uh, let's just say you bought a blender, okay? Alright, well yeah I see your return- your retur- I see you… Alright, uh returning your blender ma'am, is there something wrong with the blender?
 '''Kacey:''' Just get the manager! I want to speak to a manager. YOU are not important enough, I need a manager.
 '''Chris:''' [''brief pause''] Well, ma'am, I am uh- I am uh- I am uh customer service rep here and I could certainly, uh- I could certainly- [''is cut off by Kacey'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well what can you do to help me with this?
 '''Chris:''' Uh…
 '''Kacey:''' I just want a refund, I want my cash back.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, ma'am do you have the receipt?
 '''Kacey:''' No, of course I don't! I just want this to be taken back.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, ma'am well we will certainly take it back, and I'll uh scan this back in and give ya a refund. Yeah, so, yeah, so… I look at it and scan it in make sure- [''is cut off by Kacey'']
 '''Kacey:''' Actually, Chris, you're not going to be able to do that, 'cause most associates aren't going to be able to. Um, you're going to have to be able to take care of these people right now, 'cause the correct thing to do is, um, to get them to explain the situation, try to calm them down, let them know they are important to you, but then you are going to have to get a manager because you're not going to have the access to refund it and most places will only give store credit, um, if you don't have a receipt, and sometimes they won't even take it back at all. Though you did try to handle it very well.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright, well… I will. I mean it's like you know-
 '''Kacey:''' They'll go over policies for you.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Kacey:''' They'll go over policies with you so that you'll be able to better do these, I'm sure.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'll go over their policies with me, yeah. I was just thinking in like reference to, you know, I had to return a couple of things to Wal-Mart and that's pretty much what they did, uh, you know. They just took it and, uh, scanned it into the computer look and make sure they have it and the current price- the current price that comes up. And, uh, then they issued a refund.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're not going to be able to issue the refund, they're going to be able to. Wal-Mart does that, not Target. Their policies are gonna be a ''little'' different.
 '''Chris:''' Really? There are different polices between Wal-Mart and Target?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, every store has their own policy.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean they're different stores, they're not owned by the same company.
 '''Chris:''' …Okay. [''as if admitting defeat''] Alright, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean that should be common sense.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, maybe you should Google some more things about Target before you go to bed tonight, you know, so that uh- 'Cause they actually have their policies on their website. You should read up on those so you look informed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, read up on their policies, yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it's always a good idea to know what- exactly what you're gonna be doing.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. [''about to continue before Kacey speaks'']
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well let me let you go look those policies up and I will talk to you tomorrow. Uh, good luck!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, thank you, alright I'll talk to you tomorrow. You take care and stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you, too.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, bye now.
 '''Kacey:''' Bye.

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?d326b8qix820q6s mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 19]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 21]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Nintendo

2012-07-15T16:19:16Z

Samboy:

[[File:ChrisGameShop.jpg|thumb|Chris at the Nintendo shoppa]]

'''Nintendo Co., Ltd.''' (Japanese: 任天堂株式会社 ''Nintendō Kabushiki gaisha'') is a multinational company from [[Wikipedia:Kyoto|Kyoto]], Japan, which was founded in 1889 and started off with producing [[Card games|playing cards]]. During the latter half of the 20th century it started getting more and more involved in the [[video games|video game]] industry. In [[Pre-1980#1970s|1977]], five years before the birth of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], Nintendo brought out its first gaming console.<ref>[http://www.nindb.net/system/color-tv-game.html Color TV Game | NinDB]</ref> It is now one of three chiefs competitors on this market, along with [[Microsoft]] and [[Sony]].

==Nintendo and Chris==
[[File:Customwiimote.jpg|thumb|Chris chillin' with his Wii]]

Chris currently owns several Nintendo consoles, as well as [[List of Chris's games|a shitload of games for them]]. For a time being (before the [[PS3]] came along), ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' was the biggest game in his life and he made the hour-long [[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]] in which he would tell Nintendo about his many personal problems and how much he hated the [[Sony]] [[PlayStation]]; it still remains his longest video to date.

Along with [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], ''[[Pokémon]]'' was his "[[plagiarism|inspiration]]" for creating [[Sonichu]] and the other [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]; this was actually positively covered by ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]''.

During the early epic [[Miyamoto Saga]] in [[2008]]-[[2009]], Chris was [[troll]]ed by [[Clyde Cash]] impersonating various Nintendo officials, including [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Takashi Tezuka]], [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] and the Nintendo lawyer [[Jay Z]].

In [[2010]], Nintendo's [[Flipnote Hatena]] service became a major part in Chris's ongoing [[Love Quest]]. In 2011, Chris felt betrayed by his favorite company for [[3DS Flipnote| not porting the Flipnote software quick enough]].

In [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada|several]] [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David|videos]] released in 2011, a Giant Mii AR Card [http://club.nintendo.com/rewards-details/a/21002.do] is visible on Chris's wall. This particular item is only available to Club Nintendo members, for the price of 300 coins.

==In the comic==
[[File:NDS.PNG|thumb|300px|Seems an awfully convenient plot device - it's almost as if Chris isn't a very talented writer.]]
In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], Chris uses a DS to connect to Wi-Fi, to search [[CWCville]] for villains.

==See also==
[[File:003-NPSon.jpg|thumb|[[SEGA]] Nintendo!]]

*[[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|Appeal to Nintendo in Redmond]]
*[[Club Nintendo]]
*[[Gregg Mays E-mails|Gregg Mays e-mails]]
*[[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|Homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]]
*[[Chris E-mails 2004-2006|Nintendo e-mails]]
*[[An Official Sonichu Update|Nintendo of America]]
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Wii Incident]]
*[[Wii Remote of Fail]]

==Soures==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[wikipedia:Nintendo|Nintendo]] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Video Games]]

Talk:Saga

2012-07-15T16:06:35Z

Samboy:

Add the sagas that we have from the [[List of Videos]] page and describe the overarching storylines in each. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:09, 19 October 2009 (CEST)
*i think a visual representation of the sagas would greatly improve the article. a vertical, multi-part image would work quite well, i think, but all ideas are welcome. thoughts? --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 17:09, 19 October 2009 (CEST)
:*A visual representation would be awesome, I'm just not an artsy kind of guy to do that :3. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:53, 19 October 2009 (CEST)
::*Oh, maybe Cogs was thinking like a timeline with shadded parts to indicate sagas and show the overlaps. Very good idea, even I could do that. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:17, 20 October 2009 (CEST)
:*I'll start compiling images for each section. I'll try my best anyway. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:49, 23 October 2009 (CEST)
==Changes==
So basically what I tried to do so far is sum up every saga in 3 images. Is this at all helpful? I can upload colour versions instead if we prefer, but I thought this looked kind of good. I can also put all of them together to make a MEGASAGA sort of image that we can add to as more sagas become apparent. What do we want? Or delete them if you think they are gay. If they are not gay, then I will finish the rest tomorrow. ALSO: I can make a vertically oriented timeline (like from a history book) showing how they progress and overlap. Or horizontally, whatever we want really. Just tell me. For now, I need to sleep. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 01:25, 24 October 2009 (CEST)

* I actually really like these. [[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 03:38, 24 October 2009 (CEST)
:*I like them. Though I think that like, the subject of the saga should be in the center. Like, the Miyamoto saga, Reggie is in the middle when it really should be Miyamoto. If I may recommend one for Liquid, if there was a way to make it look like they're staring down each other, that'd be cool. Otherwise, nice work, I like the general idea. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:47, 24 October 2009 (CEST)
::*Your wish is my command. It is done. I think I got what you wanted for the Liquid saga too... Now what exactly? I can get started on a timeline. I guess I will work on making each subsection more introductory in the text too... --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 20:49, 24 October 2009 (CEST)
::*So I have added some detail to give a bit more advanced insight on the sagas for this page. I hope it is helpful. Are there any other sagas that should be here? I assume not. What do we need to add to make this... complete... --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 01:23, 25 October 2009 (CEST)

==Timeline==
[[Image:Timeline.png|right]]
So the timeline you see running here is one I made for this article. Problem, When I run it down the right side of the article it looks funny. At least I think it does. Try it. Should we put it there... or what? I will just work on the actual text of this article until we decide what to do about the imagery. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:33, 24 October 2009 (CEST)
*I haven't heard any opinions on this and they claimed to like it in IRC so I have it running down the right. Revert it if you like. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:41, 25 October 2009 (CET)
:*I like it a lot too. Having it up and down isn't orthodox but it's well suited for the media. Very nice job. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:55, 30 October 2009 (CET)
*I think it looks great, but I think the information is a bit wrong... the Megan Saga went on through the beginning of 2008 and into the ED and Adam Stackhouse affairs. Hell, there wouldn't be a Stackhouse Saga without Megan. Otherwise, it looks good.
----[[User:Kwippleton|Kwippleton]] 06:51, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

==Gregg Mays saga==
Not sure if we should consider it part of Clyde Cash saga but we should consider a Gregg Mays saga to include all this Gregg Mays stuff. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:55, 30 October 2009 (CET)

==Jack Thaddeus Saga, anyone?==
Or does anyone think it's too early? --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 03:42, 2 January 2010 (CET)
* I was about to suggest the same thing. With the [[Kill de Jack|recent]] [[To Clyde and Jack|videos]] aimed at him, the [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|three]] [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 2|phone]] [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|calls]] and the CWCipedia ad shenanigans, not to mention [[It's UGH!|previous]] [[Chris humps his PS3|antics]], there seems to be enough material to warrant a new saga. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 05:17, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
** Don't forget about Asperchu in the future. Seeing how dedicated Alec is with it so far (and Jack just started advertising his wiki in CWCipedia), a Saga for that is inevitable! --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 05:32, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
*** And I think it has begun! --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 02:02, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
**** {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]] Saga. You like? --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 02:05, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
***** Very nice! Now how about Jack, anyone? --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 02:08, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
***** Awesome job on the icon! --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 02:09, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
===Actually...===
Looking at recent edits, someone was adding a "Homosexual ad saga" to this page but it was reverted. While not a proper saga, I'd say it's a sort of mini saga and it's part of the Chris narrative, as it leads into Asperchu saga. Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:49, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
:I'm not sure I'd call the homosexual ads a saga by itself, but part of a CWCipedia saga? I'm certainly not part of the inner circle, but I imagine more hi-jinks involving the CWCipedia are in store. [[User:Chris fangs|Chris fangs]] 21:54, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
*I reverted it. It wasn't a proper saga, no. Even if it could be considered one, the information wasn't presented well enough. I first reverted the changes made to the timeline PNG[http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:Timeline.png], which also wasn't up to par. There could be a lead-in to the Asperchu Saga, sure, but I would vote no on calling it a saga. --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 22:02, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
*I re-reverted because you're a huge faggot have a nice day [[User:Nitrocore|Nitrocore]]

*Actually, I changed my mind. If someone could make a better, more convincing presentation of it, go ahead. --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 22:16, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
:*I agree that the presentation on the timeline sucks, and the name "Homosexual ad saga" does as well. I think Chris fangs is onto something about it being called "CWCipedia saga" since in a way, the Mailbag is a way of trolling Chris and CWCipedia in general sorta inadvertently trolls Chris. Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:20, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
::*Well, it seems I've angered someone. Not my intentions, to be sure. Anyway, CWCipedia Saga has a nice ring to it and it's relevant, since the Mailbag is certainly a repository of ongoing trolling. --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 22:28, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
::*Champthom, I'll leave it to you to revert the timeline image/Saga page or not. I don't wish to get into a revert war over Chris Chan. --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 22:34, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
:::*I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just saying that you're right but so is Nitrocore. The concept of a saga invoking CWCipedia, perhaps call it CWCipedia saga, is good or maybe Jack Thaddeus saga (though I'm aiming at the former) but you are correct in that the write up and the name at the time did kinda suck, and we still need to work on the timeline. For starters, we need to get in touch with the original creator of the timeline or maybe start from scratch. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:58, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
* Ha i win sucker, I actually like "Cwc saga" as well i was just adding stuff(unlike you) if you can combine it and possibly make it better with external links then I'm not bothered [[User:Nitrocore|Nitrocore]]
::::*I went with the CWCipedia idea. It's a rough draft, but you get the idea. Nitro, if there is a next time, try not to act like a child. Also, sign your discussion edits with the timestamp. --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 00:37, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

==The CWCki Saga, anyone?==

I was going to start this, but decided otherwise unless objects to it, but what we got here is the start of a third saga - CWCki Saga. Chris knows about the CWCki and now he wants to take control of it. You think we should start gathering information on this?--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:19, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*Damn. It's barely 24 hrs in and we are already talking about a saga! I think it is a tad too early to talk about a saga. Outside of "The WallFlower Incident", we got mostly nothing. Let's wait a little to see where it will goes. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:*I agree. Luckily, we'll probably find out two days from now, when his ultimatum gets ignored to death. If nothing comes of it, then nothing comes of it. If he spazzes out and does something really stupid, like threatening legal action or starting an epic edit war, then yeah. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 05:44, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

==Vanessa Saga==

My old pet project, probably not long or significant enough, but some pretty good videos and logs came from that --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 07:52, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
*Vanessa saga is one of the unsung tales of the overarching CWC saga and it's sorry that it isn't currently reflected here. However, perhaps now in retrospect it seems more to be part of Ivy saga, though Vanessa saga had dynamic elements and whatnot. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:07, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

== more saga sum up images ==

we need a saga image for asperchu (not tito yet) and the cwikipedia saga--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 02:19, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

Heres a quick one i made for the game place, just to throw out the idea, can't use it since it doesn't match the others
[[image:Picture_4.png]]

== Tito saga ==

'''In December 2009, Chris released a page from Sonichu 10, which revealed a girl named [[Lovely Weather]]. Many trolls were confused as to why Chris would create a fictional love interest when previous issues used real life girls. The confusion continued when Chris revealed he had a gal-pal during some of his Mailbags.'''

Is it just me or does this seem to suggest that "Lovely Weather" is connected to [[The Wallflower]]? If so, this text is incorrect as Chris didn't meet Wallflower until January at the latest. Srsly guys. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:50, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
* Okay, I'll admit - I wrote that bit when it seemed like there was a connection between Weather and Wallflower. I'll alter it so it won't seem that way.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 13:01, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

==IRL Saga?==

It might be too early for this, but if he keeps up these public creeper antics, methinks an "IRL Saga" would be appropriate. --[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 16:12, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
* I always thought it would be better to call everything that's happened since he "left" the Internet the "CWC Exile Saga". But, still, IRL Saga's just as good.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 16:24, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
**How about 'Reality Saga'? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:48, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
***If we're going to do that, we might as well include the Love Quest as a saga, since this sounds pretty much like a repeat of those events. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:34, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
**** I understand the reasoning behind that, though a good chunk of the Love Quest happened online within specific sagas. Personally, the only issue I would see with such a saga (CWC Exile is a great title) is that it overlaps with The GAMe PLACe and the last bit of Surfshack Tito.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 01:14, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
***** I think, in a technical level, we're between sagas. We just simply have to wait and see what damn fool thing he does next. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 02:06, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

== Flipnote Hatena saga ==

Does it count as one yet? He's slowly cracking at the seams, and it could get worse. --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 20:39, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
*It looks like it might form a saga as he goes along and breaks more Flipnote Waptena rules, so it's plausible. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 21:31, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
**Of course he's banned from uploading anything now. I think it was a bit short to count as a saga. A bit uneventful too, though that's just my thoughts on it. If everyone else thinks it could be considered it's own saga... Go for it.--[[User:Yoyoddd|Yoyoddd]] 10:07, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
***I look at this a bit like the Tito saga; very little actually was done to Chris, but it was his response to what happened that made it a saga. We have to wait and see how he reacts to the ban to see whether it's worthy or not. That's just my two cents though. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 10:49, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
****Maybe we should put "interim activities" as a separate category; nothing that fits the criteria for saga but still somewhat noteworthy. Chris being "off the internet" and on flipnote for a month could merit that. That way we could still fill out the periods between major sagas. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 14:32, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*****Even if it doesn't count as a full-fledged "Saga" it was a pretty crazy two weeks. I'm not sure if he'll return to youtube as a result of his banning, but I'm sure he'll cap off the whole thing with an enraged complaint ''somewhere''.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:41, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

==PS3 Saga?==

Before somebody already points it out, I know that the few destruction videos he put up doesn't count as a saga. I'm wondering if we should make a saga for the activities that lead to it's destruction. There's a lot of juicy info I'd like to catalog, but I don't know if it's officially over yet or not (And i also don't want to disrupt any trolling plans that may still be in motion). --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 15:04, 17 September 2010 (PDT)

==Missing Sagas==
Why aren't the sagas caused by [[Vanessa_Saga|Joshua Martinez]] included on the saga list?
*1) please sign your posts (it's four ~ in a row) 2) the stuff from Joshua Martinez is really part of Ivy saga. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:45, 22 June 2011 (PDT)

==On Sagas==
This isn't picking on anything that's going on here, but I was thinking and I think the term "saga" gets abused - not so much on here, mind you, but elsewhere but I think it sometimes spills over to the CWCki.

What is a saga? Like the article says, it's an overarching story in the life and times of Chris. For instance, let's take Miyamoto saga, which, also as the article says, what really started the whole "saga" thing. You have Chris and "Miyamoto" talking to each other over several weeks, and there's conflict between the two, then there's Reggie who gets involved, and then there's all the videos inbetween. If you watch a video from the saga without the context the saga arch provides, you're missing out on a lot. They're all intertwined, the content that is, and that's what the saga theme is all about, taking stuff that happens to Chris and presenting it in a way that provides narrative and understanding.

So what does this mean? You calling Chris is not "You calling Chris saga." Chris dressing up as a woman is not "Tomgirl saga." Seeing Chris at the mall is not "Chris at the mall saga." Chris does stuff, it doesn't need to fit in part of a narrative. It's sorta a chapter in the overarching saga that is Chris's life, but not a saga in itself. Secondly, I don't think sagas are really made. I think people expect to troll Chris and want some place on this page, wanting their own "Gigantic Attention Whore saga." Pretty much every saga wasn't intended to be a saga, it's not like they planned this all out, it's just going with the flow and it happens to have narrative to it.

I had more but I forgot what else I was going to say. But hopefully this will make sense and serve as a guide to what is a saga and what isn't, so much as how it should be included on the page.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:45, 22 June 2011 (PDT)

*Actually, while we're talking about sagas, I'd like to ask for a bit of clarification on how saga related articles are named. Recent sagas for instance are just documented in the article on the appropriate person. The article on the Ivy Saga is called [[Ivy]] and the article on the Liquid Saga is called [[Liquid Chris]]. But then there are articles which are literally called [[Miyamoto Saga]] or [[Vanessa Saga]], which are full of emails just dumped there incomprehensibly. And this is in spite of there actually being articles for [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. Don't get me wrong, I realize the need to keep the crap ton of emails separate from the main articles, but the naming convention is just odd. I'm not quite sure, but I'm willing to bet it's Clyde's fault. What is the official policy on naming saga articles? Should they all be named as "X" or as "X Saga"? And while we're on it, some sagas have a weird little template documenting all things related to them. Two I can name are [[:Template:BlancaSaga]] and [[:Template:MeganSaga]]. I don't think they're bad. They could use a little cleanup, but I do have a problem with the fact that some sagas have them and others don't. They could serve as a great way to sum up everything and point users in the direction of content relevant to each saga, but as it is right now, there's no consistency in which sagas have them. What should we do? --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:29, 22 June 2011 (PDT)
:*Good points. In regards to the e-mails, I guess people consider the bulk of the saga the e-mails or IM chats behind them, but perhaps we could rename them to be "Miyamoto Saga e-mails" or "Vanessa Saga chats"? It's probably Clyde's fault, at least for the Miyamoto e-mails. As for the templates, they probably could use cleaning up and the reason why some do and some don't is because people haven't gotten around to doing them for other templates (which can be something you can work on, if you so please). Definitely, make templates for each saga, that'd be a great way to present information. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:46, 23 June 2011 (PDT)
::*Well if you think that's something for me to work on then I suppose I could have a go at it. It'd make a change from all the sonichu shit that I've been doing recently. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 05:41, 24 June 2011 (PDT)

==The Lawsuit Saga?==
Should we separate most recent and ongoing events from Tomgirl Saga? Since Chandlers' law troubles, not Chris crossdressing interest, are main theme here. [[User:Hasharin|Hasharin]] 17:22, 5 November 2011 (PDT)
* Technically, the lawsuits would be part of the Game Place saga, right? [[User:Giantgroundsloth|Giantgroundsloth]] 21:26, 5 November 2011 (PDT)

== Individual Saga pages ==

I didn't know where to put this suggestion, so I'm putting it here. I was thinking we can give each Saga its own page. The pages would go into more detail about the saga, a summary of the events, and a listing of videos, emails, etc. in order by date. This serves to make a description about all events in the Saga from beginning to end, as there is none on the CWCki. The closest there is to it is the timeline with all of the years and months, but often times there are events irrelevant to the Saga and events in other Sagas happening. --[[User:American Christory X|American Christory X]] 16:47, 2 January 2012 (PST)
* EDIT: I noticed there are articles called "Vanessa Saga" and more, but those aren't the type of formats I'm talking about. Those pages are only content dumps, but what I'm talking about is much more organized.
* I made a [[Tomgirl Saga]] page. If there's a problem with it, or if the page is a bad idea, speak now or I'll write pages for the other sagas. --[[User:American Christory X|American Christory X]] 09:56, 3 January 2012 (PST)
*I still don't think that the whole Tomgirl thing is actually a saga, but I'll let other people debate that as that's mostly my opinion. The thing is, the articles about respective sagas tend to be in the page about the people involved. Like, most of the stuff with the Ivy saga is in the [[Ivy]] page, and the stuff about Liquid is on the [[Liquid Chris]] page. I see what you want to do and it does make sense but I think it might be redundant unless we totally rework these biographical articles so we're not saying the same stuff on two different pages.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:38, 4 January 2012 (PST)
**I think that the question of whether or not every Saga deserves its own individual page should be decided on a case by case basis rather then collectively. I think that starting the article on the Tomgirl Saga was a good idea, but having articles such "Jackie Saga", "Blanca Saga" or "Julie Saga" will be redundant in my opinion. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 06:44, 4 January 2012 (PST)
*** i agree, this page handles the simplified explanations and servers as a nice jumping off point. There is plenty blue here to get you started and if you need details about the saga then read the details linked in blue :)
* I was thinking this myself. Not every saga needs a seperate page but sagas which involved a lot of interaction in the form of Youtube videos between two parties would benefit from a seperate entry. I'm especially thinking of the Liquid Chris/CWCivil war ordeal. One page or a group of pages with the video interaction between the two in chronological order would be very useful. Maybe the Asperchu saga also? I was taking a break from Chris during that period and am still not too clear on the chronology of events. [[User:Samboy|Samboy]] 09:06, 15 July 2012 (PDT)

Chris and his ego

2012-06-30T01:20:33Z

Samboy: /* The enablers */

{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]]}}
{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (English Revised Version)]], really hitting the nail on the head}}
[[File:0858-Cwcville7.JPG|thumb|Chris's self-image.]]
'''Egotism''', out of all of [[Chris]]'s flaws, is the most important and self-destructive. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved wife, children and home)]]

==Origins==

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again home-grown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris_and_reality#Outside_of_the_comics|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, but Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for the better part of a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and people let him.

===The enablers===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A]]

{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. I was truly a miracle.|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}
Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a thirty-year-old man with autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "high functioning" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems, from emotional disorders to mental retardation, live far more independently than Chris does.

For children like Chris, public school special education is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===

{{Main|Chris and money}}

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a [[monthly tugboat|"monthly tugboat"]] as he calls it. Although intended for people who were unable to work, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[Video games]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle—and thus his world view—sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===

[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|two-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris, who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' as icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion has led him to believe that he has a legion of fans; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirm it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==

[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST artist's depiction]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|Narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for]] [[Barbara|admiration]], and [[Autism|lack]] [[Chris and remorse|of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by [[PVCC|early adulthood]] and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1.has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Art|exaggerates]] [[Honor roll|achievements]] [[CADD|and]] [[Sonichu (comic)|talents]], expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]])

2.is preoccupied with fantasies of [[Sonichu|unlimited success]], [[CWCville|power]], [[Honor roll|brilliance]], [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the ground up|ideal love]]

3. believes that he or she is [[Autistic|"special"]] and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]] (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. requires excessive [[Fanbase|admiration]]

5. has a sense of [[Barbara|entitlement]], i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] [[Honor Roll|favorable]] treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., [[Cole Smithey|takes advantage of others]] to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]]

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan|feelings and needs]] [[Wallflower|of others]]

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]]}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Manifestations==

Chris's egotism manifests itself in many ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===

[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}

{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]]}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Barbara|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[True and Loyal Fanbase|E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant-gratification, instant-acknowledgment, and instant-attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was waterboy.

===Persecution complex===

[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint CWC the Martyr.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still out of his hands. His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[troll]]ing, among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a quagmire of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, THAT IS MY HOUSE}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], to [[Autism|being the social outcast we all know and hate]]) thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're [[trolls|against him]]. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk—even from professionals—about the similarities between [[Asperger Syndrome]] and [[autism]], denies that there are any shortcomings in his [[Sonichu (comic)|work]], and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris- getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening [[Sonichu|his]] [[Copyright|identity]]. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start a [[CWCki|wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris' gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would tell if we end up seeing Chris [[Cosplay|cosplaying]] or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. It's pretty obvious that Chris has only done this because he believes that [[Naive|he'll score with Jackie sooner or later]].

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an animal. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===

[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a narcissist]]

{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}
Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, this attitude has transcended self-confidence and erupted into full-blown hubris: Chris is convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[Chris and art|art]] are not just competitive with his peers, but clearly superior.

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also [[Barbara|extremely sheltered]], he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing [[CWCville|elaborate fantasy worlds]]. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of [[CWCville]].

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided [[homos]] are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking the trolls.He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4th June, 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.

===Materialism===

{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website, more than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is [[Naïve|delusional]]. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting [[money]] for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his [[tugboat]] than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===

A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people]] through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats [[homos]], seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===

{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]]}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place).

===Paranoia===

One of the worst things that comes out of Chris's ego is his bloated sense of paranoia. As mentioned above, Chris has taken to withholding certain information from trolls like an animal being shocked by a shock collar. However, this line of thinking has pushed Chris into believing that the entire world is out to get him. In early days, it was actually simple - [[Jerkops]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] were conspiring to stop him from succeeding in his [[Love Quest]]. However, after the incident with [[The Wallflower]] and the realization that there's entire webpages devoted to him, it's caused him to see things in a bigger, yet disturbing picture.

As such, Chris has decided to become a recluse, refusing to make friends with anyone unless he knew him in the real world. However, this is a double-edged sword as Chris refuses to interact with anyone in the real world as well. In the real world, if someone spotted Chris and knew him by name, even if they had heard of him from whatever remaining place is left for him to go to, he panics and runs, fearing that the person is actually a troll seeking to spread more information about him across the Internet. As well, if someone wanted to contact Chris through other means, even if that person had no idea who Chris was or what Sonichu was or anything that the trolls had done, Chris will shut them out because he doesn't know who they are and thus, has relegated them to the title of "troll".

===Surrendering Information===

If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is [[CWCki|this entire wiki]], which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a [[Trolls|'true and loyal fanbase']], and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away).

While this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to lose his virginity, he couldn't help but announce it on his [[Facebook]] page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] [[Jackie|result]] of his [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]]), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway,) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the [[The Wallflower| first time]] it's happened.

===Fishing For Sympathy===

In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is [[Father Call]], where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter ''(note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.)'' In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with [[Jackie]], Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], [[Chris and Hypocrisy|being a hypocrite]] and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his [[Facebook]] entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, [[Barbara Chandler]], and his friend, [[Anna McLerran]] is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents ''(notably well past the point of social acceptance)'', to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his being [[Autism|autistic]], has poisoned Chris' mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the [[Kick the Autistic|heavy burdens he faces daily]], almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

==War against the ego==

One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the [[white knight]]s. These [[slow-in-the-minds|misguided souls]] have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]], and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], became a troll when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are [[video games]] to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be [[Kacey]], who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry [[Liquid Chris]], but not before having her father point out [[Father Call|every single thing that is wrong with Chris.]] A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==

[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely]]

{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

User talk:Champthom

2012-06-28T09:07:12Z

Samboy:

Talk to me.

Be sure to check out the archives as well:

'''Archive:''' [[User:Champthom/Archive 1|1]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 2|2]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 3|3]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 4|4]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 5|5]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 6|6]]

== Champ, I mean it now ==
When I come on here and see that people like [[User talk:Steve Landcleamer|this mouthbreather]] have been fucking with pages while being told not to and spamming pictures of furry porn that we for some reason allow on here, and yet I have the power to neither delete the image or ban the sperg, it cuts me deep. I'm on here often enough and I've already contributed a lot to the wiki. Can you throw some Jerkop powers my way so I can sort this shit out in future? We don't have nearly enough active mods and this place seems to have this kind of shit all the time. I mean this seriously Champ, I think the CWCki could benefit a lot from more Jerkops. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:09, 20 April 2012 (PDT)
:Before you answer him, Champ, keep in mind that I've also been here a long time and am also actively contributing; so if you decided to give Old meme jerkop rights, I sure would appreciate receiving them as well. Just saying. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 09:24, 20 April 2012 (PDT)

*You both make good points. Could you point out the furry image though, the only image I've seen by him is that picture of Chris ejaculating on Anna's face, which I've incidentally deleted because I don't think it really improves the Anna article. Anyways, about quality in general - I've discussed this issue with Anonymax, and this goes for the both of you, that as regular users you have all the tools needed to improve the quality of the CWCki. If there's an incidence such as an edit war going on, you're welcome to ask any of the admins to step in to resolve the issue. For these reasons, I don't think it's needed to add more jerkops or admins for these reasons. However, if it ever got out of control, then I would consider making someone a quality control jerkop to enforce quality standards. However, I think for the most part you all have the tools you need, just keep making good edits and reverting shit like you have been doing and I think that should be sufficient.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:11, 20 April 2012 (PDT)
**He's probably talking about [[:Image:Sonichu.jpg|this picture]], which was spammed on [[CWCki:Privacy policy]]. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 23:46, 20 April 2012 (PDT)

== Deletion of Fail; Effects ==

Would it be necessary to organize a project of some kind to remove red "fail" pipes from pages across the CWCki? --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 11:27, 23 April 2012 (PDT)
*[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Special:WhatLinksHere/Fail&limit=500 Here they all are]. Clean them at your leisure. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 11:57, 23 April 2012 (PDT)
:[[User:Anonybot|Anonybot]] is working on it. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 14:41, 23 April 2012 (PDT)

Fail article deleted, stupid page names corrected, Champ finally got around to deleting the furry porn. It's been a good week. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:39, 24 April 2012 (PDT)
*At least SOMEONE is happy.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:18, 25 April 2012 (PDT)

==Why did you delete the article on Kim?==
She is as notable as any of the gal pals, and all the info IS public, coming from the Kacey calls.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 23:03, 4 May 2012 (PDT)
*How do you know the Kim from the Kacey calls is the same Kim Wilson? Kim is a fairly common name. You're also assuming a lot of things, like Kim is ScarletSanctum when you have no proof of that, and you're including a lot of things that are rumors like how some apology video was because Kim was upset. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:04, 4 May 2012 (PDT)

*1. Chris states her name is Kim Wilson in one of the Kacey calls.
*2. ScarletSanctum is Kim's youtube handle, as stated in [[SingStar Challenge]].
*3. Chris addresses in that video that he upset Kim and Kacey with the previous video.

And if the name was an issue why not just redirect the page to "Kim"?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 23:17, 4 May 2012 (PDT)
*How do you know that ScarletSanctum is Kim? Does Chris explicitly mention it? Also does Chris specifically say Kim in that video in that it upset her? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:23, 4 May 2012 (PDT)

Chris does explicitly mention it. Look at this dialouge in [[Kacey Call 1]]:
*Chris: Yeah. So you know uh, Kim, you know uh, how she, uh, yeah you know, uh, Kim, I actually heard that Kim and her friend Logan actually live in the Charlton area close to the downtown mall, you know? So if you ever wanted to look her up and, you know, just talk to her, you know, find about more about the impostor for me, or you know, see what her opinion of me is on the Internet from her point of view...
*Kacey: Oh, you want me to do some undercover stuff? Chris, that is so sweet of you! You know how much I wanted to get involved.
*Chris: Oh yeah, sure. You know that ScarletSanctum account? That's hers.
*Kacey: Okay, no, I will totally, totally message her. It's Kim Woods, you said?
*Chris: No, Kim Wilson. Totally. Message her, talk to her all about me.

As far as making the video in response to offending Kim, he also implicitly states this:

"Uh, I dedicate this video to uh, Logan. Boyfriend of my gal-pal, Kim. Yeah, anyway uh, I've--I just wanted to uh, apologize for uh...offending you in anyway"

He could also be referring to offending Logan, but either way why through the baby out with the bathwater?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 23:35, 4 May 2012 (PDT)
*Let me think about it. In the meantime, I've made a [[User:Steve Landcleamer/Kim|subpage]] for you in the meantime.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:39, 4 May 2012 (PDT)

So is there any hold up or is the page good to go? I've answered all your questions and it seems to meet all the requirements.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 16:32, 5 May 2012 (PDT)
*Don't you think it might be a little bit imprudent to make a page about Kim?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:58, 5 May 2012 (PDT)

*Why would it be imprudent? All the information is public and sourced. All the other gal pals have pages, so what would the problem be?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 18:37, 5 May 2012 (PDT)

*Well?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 20:39, 7 May 2012 (PDT)
*Good God, first learn some patience, this isn't a life and death issue. Second of all, let me put it this way - in your own words, the supposed Kim calls are unreleased. Why do you think that is?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:18, 8 May 2012 (PDT)

Because "she"'s obviously still trying to troll Chris. Regardless, that's beside the point, while the calls haven't been released, all the information in the article has. You initially deleted it under the guise that is was "Not notable, not based on public information", but we both know that that's clearly not the cause. My page seemed to meet all the guidelines, so based on Cwicki guidelines, what is objectionable about it?

I'm sorry if I seem impatient, I just find this quelling of already public information to be pretty ridiculous and counter productive to the CWCki.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 14:43, 8 May 2012 (PDT)
*Based on my discussions with Canine and Anonymax, I have decided to restore the article. Remember, the CWCki is form Chris's POV so Kim isn't a troll, she has not publicly declared herself to be a troll to Chris. I'd also avoid posting on /cwc/ and CWCki Forums when you make an article on a delicate topic like this.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:09, 11 May 2012 (PDT)

===If I may step in and say a piece===
I know I may not be towing the party line by saying this Champ, but Land has a point here. This is all information that was technically on the wiki anyway, just in out of the way places. Personally, I have no problem with covering things up for trolling purposes, because I understand the need to do so and I'm not one to whine about dang dirty stonecutters, but we have information on Kim here already. I don't care which side of the fence you're on Champ, I'll just go with what you say, but you've got to at least be consistent. Either allow the article outright, or if you object to some of the content in the article being made public, censor it and then allow the censored version to be posted. Your decision is final and no-one would be able to stop you, so I don't know what you're worried about. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:22, 9 May 2012 (PDT)
*True, I realize this, but the issue is that there's a good reason that Kim doesn't already have an article, mostly for [[A_Quick_Guide_to_CWCki#Privacy|privacy reasons]] which is indeed already covered. I'm trying to convey that subtly. Remember, Chris reads the CWCki, and loose lips sink ships. I don't think "we" released the Kacey calls, Canine tells me it was all dropped by Liquid's twin brother so it's not like we were able to filter through everything to see if anything was objectionable.

:This is a difficult decision and I need to discuss it with Canine a bit more, unfortunately we have conflicting schedules so I'll try and catch him tonight.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:31, 9 May 2012 (PDT)

==Chris's POV==
*Thank you for restoring the Kim article. I am wondering something concerning what you said about the cwicki supposed to be from Chris's point of view. Why do articles like [[Obesity]] state that Chris is fat? He's said multiple times that he does not think he is. There are lots of other examples like this.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 17:07, 11 May 2012 (PDT)

[[Chris and reality]] would be the best example of this.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 18:13, 11 May 2012 (PDT)
::We go by what Chris thinks/says unless we have decent evidence to the contrary. With his obesity, we have more than enough evidence to support this. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 01:04, 12 May 2012 (PDT)

==Permanently Banned from Message Board==
I really don't understand this at all. Please respond to the email I sent you.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 16:21, 6 May 2012 (PDT)

Never mind one of the other mods took care of this.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 20:39, 7 May 2012 (PDT)

== Comms ==

I'm on IRC a lot and today is my day off work so if you're around so am I! --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:19, 11 May 2012 (PDT)

== can I help? ==
Hey I have a capture card that does 720p,1800p,ect and wanted to know if I could use it to help (lbp videos,screen shots) does anything need to be rerecorded? also I'm moving soon so if you could say something in the next week or so (before I have to pack my computer up) that would be great. [[User:Blaziken|Blaziken]] 09:14, 1 June 2012 (PDT)
* Sorry it took a day to get back to you, just had to think as I do appreciate your gumption. To be honest though, I can't think of anything in particular, BUT that's just to the best of my knowledge. Head over to [[CWCki:General|the community portal]] and ask there, there might be some people to have some ideas. Just do me one teensy favor - be sure to sign your posts (that's four ~ in a row) so we know who you are when you post. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:29, 30 May 2012 (PDT)
* thanks! [[User:Blaziken|Blaziken]] 09:14, 1 June 2012 (PDT)

==Bruce Johnson==
The Bruce Johnson thing is real. I don't even care about the PVCC anymore. I just want you to know I'm not making up what I added to the cwicki. Would you like a wider screenshot of the facebook convo?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 19:26, 20 June 2012 (PDT)
*How do you know it's the real Bruce Johnson? Or rather, why should we trust you? I could easily have made a Bruce Johnson account to fool you. Even if it is real, do we really need it? All it boils down to is Johnson saying he's not a pedophile contrary to what Chris said. Is this really a startling revelation, that Chris said something negative about someone and it's not true? Do we really need to confirm this, in light of Chris's history? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:36, 20 June 2012 (PDT)
*'Sup bitches, guess who's back? Champy, thought I'd drop in to tell you that under the "no shit is too minor" policy, (which you should really get rid of if it enrages you so), we do indeed need to confirm everything if possible. That said this is still probably bullshit, and confirming this still isn't your job. If you want my two cents, give Landcleamer a chance to convince you of its authenticity at least. I'm sure you have high standards for what you'd accept as convincing proof, so either someone else will go out of their way to contribute something valid, or he can fail to do so and you can say no again. Worst case scenario, Steve Landcleamer turns out to be the weenest of ween trolls and goes through a lot of work to convince you of something fairly inconsequential that can be removed if it later turns out to be fake anyway. The way I see it, this isn't a real problem for you either way. Let the monkey dance. Also, your insulting summaries were hilarious. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 02:12, 21 June 2012 (PDT)
:*I forgot to add in the summary that our friend Steve here wanted to be let into PVCC on the basis of this "startling" revelation. As I've said before, "no shit is too minor" should mean that we don't overlook things, not that we need to get third party confirmation on everything. Anyone who's familiar with Chris knows that his memory isn't totally accurate and he's been known to bullshit. Given that Chris has called Michael Synder a Jew, does this mean we have to contact Michael Synder and confirm whether or not he is a Jew? Do we need to contact Mary Lee Walsh to make sure she's not in fact secretly a witch planning on banning true love from Virginia? It should be pretty obvious that Johnson probably isn't a pedophile, and what does his admission of not being a pedophile say? He could be lying for all we know, I'm not saying he's a pedophile, he probably isn't, but his admission of not being a pedophile shouldn't be startling. I mean, did you expect him to say "Chris got me, I'm a kiddy piddler, I love little boys and molesting them as they sit on my lap and I do horrible profane things to them." Of course the answer is "no," why do we need to have confirmation of this?
::As I've said before, I don't like people bothering Chris tangentially related to Chris about stuff. I think having known Chris is punishment enough, it doesn't help to have epic ween trolls like Steve here think they're gonna get into PVCC on the basis of harassing these people and asking them for information about Chris. I think it's pretty damn weird and spergy to do this, that is to contact people with tangential relations to Chris and ask them details about Chris. Someone on the CWCki Forums is like "No, it's not weird, it's just like liking any celebrity like the Kardashians." Here's the thing - I don't think celebrity magazines are hunting down the lady who served one of those Kardashian people coffee and doing a full length interview. It's bizarre, I would be weirded out if some person went up to and wanted me to tell them everything I know about some person I vaguely remember from years ago.
::This isn't exactly someone who served Chris coffee, it's a major figure in Christory.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 15:43, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
::Burden of proof is on Steve and he's on shakey ground. I don't trust him one bit. I don't like having things that could very easily be false on the CWCki because it hurts our reputation and people already distrust the CWCki as it is, I don't need to give them more reason to distrust it. I don't want to give people an incentive to make up fake bullshit and post it on the CWCki with the thought they'll be declared an epic ween troll for getting "new" "content" and that they'll get into PVCC and that mommy and daddy will finally love them because they'll no longer be wastes of human flesh.
::You have to REALLY convince me here, Steve. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:18, 21 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Hey, no objections from me. Steve wants to dig up trivial information to try and get into PVCC, that's his business. It's not like it would at all harm the CWCki to put up a single quote from the man if it does turn out to be true. Though really, you need to do something about the abundance of ween trolls trying to get into PVCC, or even just normal idiots desperately begging for it, like 16BitAlex. Maybe the guys in the forum itself or on IRC get a good laugh out of them, but I personally just get depressed when I see people like Stevey-boy cluttering the CWCki recent changes, desperately pursuing some unattainable goal by making bullshit edits and whining as hard as possible on talk pages. It wastes your time, it wastes mine, it's rather sad, and it's not even entertaining enough for the guys on /cwc/ to get more than a single thread from it. All in all, a pathetic affair for all involved. I would suggest temp-banning Pipecleaner if he continues to make a nuisance of himself after this, under your "Drama whoring" clause. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:13, 21 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Champ, you have my email. This might be a dumb idea on my part, but I'm willing to give you the facebook login information so you can see the message for yourself. I'm willing to trust you to not fuck with the account, just to go into the private messages and verify the authenticity. After that can I be allowed back to the cwicki forum, under the understanding that I'll never ask to join the PVCC again?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 07:50, 21 June 2012 (PDT)
::*I think /cwc/ has made a good point, a point I have, is that - what did you expect him to say? Of course he's going to say he didn't molest Chris, even if he did molest Chris he's not going to admit it to some stranger. So having him say that he didn't do it isn't saying much, because either way he'll deny it and that really doesn't add anything to the discussion. And like I said, given Chris's background, we know he exaggerates things, and that his recollection of events aren't always the most reliable, do we need to actually get confirmation of this?
:::Ignoring the issue you wanted to get into PVCC, I don't see what it really adds to the discussion. I also don't want to encourage people to hassle people connected to Chris to get information.
:::If people feel like it absolutely, positively must remain in the article, I'd say something like "From a Facebook message purportedly from Bruce Johnson..." or something like that so people can interpret it however they please. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:38, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Alright, can we keep it in under that wording?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 06:34, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
::* How do we even know it was from Bruce anyway? I'm not doubting Steve Landcleamer has a message on his facebook, I'm 100% sure that if anyone where to get onto his facebook they would find said message...I'm doubting that it's Bruce. People have been faking to be people Chris knows for quite a while (like Megan), this wouldn't be a first.--[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 09:10, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Why would someone make an entire fake facebook account full of pictures and friends, on the random change that years after its creation someone recognizes them as Chris Chan's old principal, just so they can dish out false information? If that was the case surely they wouldn't have just said that Chris is a liar and insane.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 10:43, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
::*May I ask a question? Even if you did successfully contact Chris's old principal, why was the only thing you could ask "R u pedo lol?". The big questions about Chris's time at NGE are "Why was he sent to the principal?", "Why exactly did they record his screams, was it because he was a repeat offender?", "Why was he transferred there from Greene County Primary?", and "Were the principal's lap incident and scream recording incident the same incident?". Any of those would be worth adding to the CWCki, and it would have cleared away most of the fog surrounding the event. Instead you asked for information that everyone already knew. It's like you stumbled into a garden containing hundreds of delicious alien fruits and came back with a half-eaten ordinary banana.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 15:00, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
:::Firstly, if you read the screenshot, you'll see I did ask him what really went down with Chris being sent to his office and having his screams recorded. All Johnson says is Chris is liar. Secondly I figured asking private information out of the blue about a former student would get no answer, by connecting it to the fact that Chris is getting sued by Snyder (who he also claimed was a pedophile), the message comes across as a concerned citizen looking out for Mr. Johnson, rather than some creep obsessed with Chris, and thus got a reply.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 13:56, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
::*I would also add that just because the Facebook profile is full of pictures and friends doesn't mean it isn't fake. It could just be a -really- good fake. The kind of fake that leaves no obvious evidence that makes it easy to discern as a fake. As to why someone would have done it, stranger and less tactically sound things have happened, enough that I can conceive of and not be surprised by someone doing it for exactly the reasons you mentioned, regardless of the lack of point in doing so. -[[User:Perpetual Lurker|Perpetual Lurker]] 15:17, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
:::I will be happy to provide you a link to the facebook page, along with it's postings dating years back, and you still tell me this is can all be chalked up to an elaborate troll scheme.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 15:43, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
:::*You don't need to. I checked the page in its entirety (at least as much as I had access to) before I posted here, and did again before posting this. I think this is more of a difference of opinion than anything: the factors that convince you that it is real (profile in existence since 2008, existence of friends and wall posts, etc), don't automatically convince me. Like 4Macie said, if this is a fake, it is hardly the first time someone has done it. I'll also reiterate my opinion that a -really- good fake will not have any obvious signs that it is a fake. I'm not saying that the profile is fake, just that there isn't any compelling evidence that it isn't. My official position is that it exists, and people more savvy and/or more connected than I can verify the truth of it all if they choose to. Whether it is or it isn't, I'm inclined to agree with Champthom in that Bruce Johnson not being a pedophile is hardly an earth-shattering surprise. At best, it's just (allegedly) confirming something everybody but Chris already believed to be true. -[[User:Perpetual Lurker|Perpetual Lurker]] 17:51, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Does anyone object to keeping this info under the wording Champ suggested, "From a Facebook message purportedly from Bruce Johnson..."? --[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 15:43, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
:::*I don't think we should put it on here at all until Champthom is convinced it's real. Also; epic ween, brah.. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 03:33, 25 June 2012 (PDT)

===My thoughts===
I think the wrong focus here is whether it's indeed real or not. Supposedly this Facebook profile has been around a while, has plenty of photos, etc. What motive is there for someone to go into such detail and for what purposes? It's pretty easy why someone would want to impersonate someone like Megan or someone Chris knew from high school - so Chris will see these people, decide to talk to them, and they'd then be able to troll Chris. What purpose is there for someone faking Bruce Johnson? Why would Chris decide to contact Bruce Johnson? I can only really imagine Chris deciding 1) to look up Johnson and 2) taking the effort to contact him mostly to say something like "You molested me you pedofork!" and mind you, Chris is pretty lazy so he wouldn't go to that much hassle. So we have to possibilities - 1) someone has planned since 2008 to troll Chris and has created a believable Facebook profile, all for the motive of trolling Chris or 2) it's actually Bruce Johnson. Occam's razor would suggest the latter.

I think the real issue here is - how can we be sure it's real or not? There's no way of knowing whether this is real or not. Are we supposed to take Steve's word for it? What's to stop other people from making similar claims? People love making shit up about Chris and using that as a way to get attention for themselves or in Steve's case, to try and get into PVCC. The CWCki was designed purposely to separate truth and fact and that's why I take this sort of thing seriously, namely that I don't like things of dubious origins to be cited as facts on here.

But also, let's consider - why the hell is this so damn important? I mean, it's just Steve saying "Chris says you're a pedophile" and Johnson says "No I'm not." Is that really startling? Will this totally change the way we look at Chris's claim? You know what? Even if he was a pedophile, do you really expect him to admit to a strange he molested children? So his confession says nothing really. I think that a reader of the CWCki should be familiar with Chris's track record with memory in that he tends to remember things in his favor (like that he was a Pokemon gym leader vs. Lucas and Mimms's claim that he only did it one time when all the regular people were out), plus that [[Wikipedia:Repressed_memory|repressed memories]] in general can be dubious and that it's very easy to construct pseudo-memories. Let's be VERY generous and let's say that Chris was indeed molested by Bruce Johnson. Does this really excuse his homophobia? I'd say no. True, it'd be a more valid reason than thinking that you can "turn" gay but I think that really only justifies not liking one particular gay person. Let's say a black person robs me - does this justify me being racist to all black people? No, that'd be silly, just because one particular black person harmed me doesn't mean I should hate blacks as a groups. Same thing applies to Chris and gays.

Side note - Steve, don't break up one of my posts, because it looks like you wrote that whole bit when I in fact did.

In regards to your comment, you're right, this isn't like someone serving coffee - it's much weirder. It's more like if a complete stranger approached you on the street and asked you about the guy who sat two seats in back of you in English class and demanding you tell them every single detail about them. No, Chris isn't a celebrity, he's our bizarre obsession and we need to be honest with ourselves, it's sorta weird. If it wasn't for trolling, Chris would be an ordinary, dull person, albeit with some eccentricities but just an ordinary person who you might look at a few extra seconds if you were to pass him by but not a celebrity by normal standards. If you think it's normal to contact people who vaguely know people from ages ago and ask them for every single detail about said person, they'd probably think you're some sort of stalker or there's something mental with you.

So should we have this tidbit on the article? Like I said, I don't think it really adds anything. If it's generating this much furious debate, I don't think it'd be wise to include it. This isn't about me not being convinced, it's about not convincing the CWCki community as a whole. Like I said, I don't think we're losing out on anything major here.

Those are my thoughts at least. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:20, 25 June 2012 (PDT)

Why not include it? Isn't there an inherent interest to here Johnson's response even though it is what we'd assume it would be? It can only make an article stronger. Take for example a New York Times article about an alleged criminal, it will always make a note that they contacted the accused, even if the person simply replies with a refusal to comment.

Including Johnson's comments in the article helps verify what people suspect about Chris (he made this incident up). Isn't further information/confirmation better than none?

As far as proving the facebook message was not some photoshop, I'm still offering Champ access to the acount so that I can prove I am not doctoring things (and if I was wouldn't you expect the details to be a lot juicier?)--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 17:41, 25 June 2012 (PDT)
::: Seriously, why are you trying so hard for this? I'm pretty sure anyone who reads what Chris thinks about Bruce would naturally assume that Bruce didn't actually touch Chris inappropriately and that Chris's screams were not recorded for Bruce's amusement... --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 21:15, 25 June 2012 (PDT)
:::I've already explained myself. What is the harm in including it?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 06:46, 26 June 2012 (PDT)

So would you like the account info? I'd like to definitively prove that this is real and move on.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 17:26, 27 June 2012 (PDT)

* I don't think anyone doubts that you received the message, the uncertainty lies in whether the account you received it from is genuine which cannot be proved by someone logging into your FB account. And also whether it's important enough to go on the CWCki anyway. [[User:Samboy|Samboy]] 02:07, 28 June 2012 (PDT)

Kacey Call 12

2012-06-27T09:21:13Z

Samboy: /* Part 1 */

A brief overview of the call.

File Name: 999kc.mp3

*First yoga class for [[Chris]].
*[[Kacey]] trying to sound smart about medical stuff, Chris doesn't care.
*Chris trying to tell [[trolls]] that call him that Kacey is his girlfriend, Kacey said "we're just friends".
*Unwilling to get a new cell phone number because he would have to update the number on [[PSN]] but it's too much effort.
*Chris talks about Burger King food, says that oatmeal is veggies.
*Chris says that he needs to move out of his house and get a job before he learns to cook for himself.
*[[Kim]] told him to go to yoga class.
*Chris trying to talk about how sitting in different positions makes it impossible to breathe. He and Kacey argue about it.
*Walking around [[mall]] = exercise.
*Gamestop employee recognized Chris and took a picture with him
*Chris gave blood. This means that someone has part of Chris inside of them. THIS MEANS SOMEONE HAS CHRIS INSIDE OF THEM.
*Chris trying to explain what giving plasma is to Kacey despite the fact that she keeps saying over and over that she knows what it is.
*Chris sent out [[Sonichu 0]] to Marvel, Dark Horse, and Archie.
*Kacey: "You know how you said I weighed a lot? how much do you think Kim weighs?" Chris: "175-150, somewhere between there." Kacey: "How much do you weigh?" Chris: "last time I checked 215-220."
*Chris actually seems interested in blood types.
*Chris says that his mind goes blank because he is too creative for his thoughts. He refers to himself as a "creative genius".
*Chris says that the way the brain works is the same as computers: random access memory.
*Chris is writing a 500 word essay about [[autism]] for Kacey. He tries to emphasize how great he is for doing this.

==Part 1==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 12 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|_EIwdSgc5TQ}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 11]]
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </Center>

'''Chris:''' Hello? 
'''Kacey:''' Hey! It’s Kacey, what’s up? 
'''Chris:''' Hey Kacey I was waiting for you 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah? [Laughs] You know, work just keeps trying to make me stay late so, um- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Kacey:''' What’s up? 
'''Chris:''' Oh, you know, this and that. I went to my first yoga class today that was good. I feel like- 
'''Kacey:''' Oh, that’s exciting! 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I’m sorry what? 
'''Kacey:''' I said that’s exciting 
'''Chris:''' Oh, OK yeah it was, and it was very good. It was also, you know, classes uh, weekly apparently, so I’ll definitely be going to future ones including the one next week. 
'''Kacey:''' That’s cool, well I mean, you know you must be happy because of all the endorphins that are running through your body because that happens after exercise. I mean, do you feel more relaxed, because you sound kind of stressed right now. 
'''Chris:''' Aw yeah well, little bit, um [sigh]. I was expecting, I was expecting you to call and then like, you know, you know, you come in as unavailable or restricted you know. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh-huh 
'''Chris:''' There’s been this, this troll, I think this troll is just trying to call me back, you know I’m hearing the beeping like and go figure the damn troll turned out to have been a female troll. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh 
'''Chris:''' I was like I told her, “quit calling me here I’m expecting a call from my girlfriend!” 
'''Kacey:''' WHAT? 
'''Chris:''' I’m sorry, I mean- I mean, it was just a troll. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh, you said it as an excuse. Right, right. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway- 
'''Kacey:''' Because I know you don’t think that of me right now because we’re friends. But- 
'''Chris:''' I mean you are a girl and you are my friend 
'''Kacey:''' Right, right 
'''Chris:''' So you are my girl friend. 
'''Kacey:''' [Laughs] 
'''Chris:''' I understand that. Yeah, okay, so anyway then the girl had the nerve to call me back and she said, “Your girlfriend's a blow-up doll.” That’s how then I learned that it was a woman- female troll. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh gosh, did her number come through? 
'''Chris:''' No she was a restricted number. 
'''Kacey:''' Ugh… Well maybe you should get a new phone number, you know, and not give it out to the trolls. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but unfortunately I got this phone number linked up on my resume, and it’s in my Playstation Network account, and a whole lot- 
'''Kacey:''' Well you know you can change all those things, but I understand, I mean yeah that is difficult. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, and my father would tell you the same thing as well you know. He would change the home phone number, but so many things that’s linked to. A lot more than mine, I tell you what. [Sound of door opening] Anyway, aside from that. I here and my father went out within the Burger King at lunch and I didn’t get my walk in at the, around the neighborhood like I would have wanted to beforehand because of that. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Chris:''' I had a side salad, you know usually I go there cause this Burger King gives two Whoppers for three dollars, um I- 
'''Kacey:''' Well when did you wake up? 
'''Chris:''' Probably I got up around 11:30 this morning 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah I guess that’s a little early for you, because normally you wake up around noon (laughs) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, [inaudible] but I expected my father to, like you know, he would want to go out to Burger so I had a bowl of oatmeal- 
'''Kacey:''' Uh-huh 
'''Chris:''' -and then, you know, that got me filled so all I really needed was the side salad, so I spent a dollar on that 
'''Kacey:''' Well oatmeal is supposed to be very filling so I’m surprised you needed a salad after that. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah maybe, this was like an hour or two after I had the oatmeal. 
'''Kacey:''' Wow, I don’t get hungry till, like, much later but- [laughs] 
'''Chris:''' It was just something to munch on anyway. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' You know vegetables are always good for you anyway. Anyway, aside from that I- After we got back home I had to leave right away because, you know…[stuttering] yesterday I went up to Harris Teeter because my mom needed some more water that was on- you know bottles of waters on sale for a dollar or two less than the Food Lion. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' Actually while I was there I looked up your Febreze, because you know, when we were talking I wasn’t sure if you were talking about air freshener or fabric softener. I realized that Febreze does make fabric refresher and I realized that’s what you were talking about. 
'''Kacey:''' Right 
'''Chris:''' So I went over to Target and found that it was on a temporary fifty cent price cut there. So I bought me a bottle of the lavender scented. But then my mom was telling me, “Oh yeah there’s like a bottle of Febreze, there’s like a thing of Febreze in the car”- I wasn’t sure what she was talking about, It thought she was talking about the air freshener. I mean I thought she was talking about the air freshener 
'''Kacey:''' Uh-huh 
'''Chris:''' But then I come home with the lavender scented Febreze fabric refresher but it turns out that was a bottle of fabric refresher too except it was the allergen reducer. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh okay 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Kacey:''' I don’t really like the way that one smells, so- 
'''Chris:''' The allergen reducer 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah, It just doesn’t have- It smells clean but I don’t like it 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Okay, I sampled- smelled the two anyway and uh, I kinda liked the allergen reducer a little better, so I’ll finish that up and I’ll get the lavender scented one, but I needed a few more dollars in my wallet anyway so I ended up returning the lavender scented one. 
'''Kacey:''' Wait, you returned something you already used? 
'''Chris:''' No I didn’t use it, all I had to do was just unscrew the top and smell it 
'''Kacey:''' Hmm… still you opened it and that makes it, that’s just not safe. Either way 
'''Chris:''' Anyway they still took it back and I got my four-something back. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay 
'''Chris:''' So I’ll finish up the allergen reducer and then like, you know, I’ll spend the five bucks and get the lavender again. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay 
'''Chris:''' Which reminds me, yeah, I need to let you know about my current finances, I just haven’t been able to lately because I was busy. Anyway, yeah, went to Target, returned the Febreze, and then also I ordered something from Goodwill that came with a free gift which is like a three set- set of three kitchen tongs. Couldn’t reuse [inaudible] at the time so I donated them to Goodwill and then I went to Greenbrier Drive from Kim to find the dance studio where the pole dancing class was. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' But I was being held up, and I couldn’t find it. Then you know, I just talked to Kim she told me it’s around Greenbrier Drive. I was like, oh well, I’ll Google it later anyway. I’ll find out for sure where it is. What street address at- 
'''Kacey:''' So why did you buy kitchen tongs are you going to start cooking? 
'''Chris:''' No I did not buy these. These were a free gift. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh 
'''Chris:''' It was like a free supplies 
'''Kacey:''' Okay 
'''Chris:''' So I didn’t expect- 
'''Kacey:''' Maybe you should start cooking. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah. I can and I will, you know, start cooking for myself more often. But you know, one day at a time. I’d like to feel more independent, you know. Get myself a job and maybe move out of the house or whatever, mmm, moving on to what happened today. After I went searching for the dance studio on Greenbrier Drive, then I just moved ahead to the Western [inaudible] building and attended the yoga class. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay 
'''Chris:''' I met a new girl- I met a new female friend. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh cool! 
'''Chris:''' We talked a little bit but it’s not like we exchanged phone numbers or email addresses. Her name is Lauren, she’s a UVA student. She’s majoring in, well she’s not sure yet, but she’s taking politics. 
'''Kacey:''' Politics? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Kacey:''' I guess she’s going to be a political science major. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah probably, yeah, I think she said so, yeah she said political science. Yeah there you go you just took the words out of her mouth [laughs] 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah, [laughs] political science majors! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but anyway, apparently she attended church the past couple of Sundays as well. So it was like, you know, first time we met so I said, you know, I’ll see you next Sunday in church- there we are. And then, you know, maybe I can get, maybe we’ll share email addresses then. 
'''Kacey:''' You should, I’m surprised you didn’t already. Especially if you think she’s a friend. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I mean, like, you know, we just met. 
'''Kacey:''' Still I’ve exchanged email addresses right away 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well, Okay, yeah I’ll see about that next time I see her. Either on Sunday or next Wednesday. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay, well hopefully you do see her. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, I learned a lot about the yoga poses. Actually I heard a new meaning, I mean, I’ve heard the expression “open your heart” before, like from the Sonic Adventure. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' But the way the yoga teacher it was like lift up your chest. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' So you know, I have a better understanding of what they mean by open your heart, it’s like keep your chest held high. 
'''Kacey:''' Um, It’s actually supposed to be a metaphor and it’s got a lot of interpretations. Like opening your heart means opening up to someone or being respectful it can be interpreted dozens of ways. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but in terms of the yoga, opening up the heart means lifting your chest and opening it up for the air you’re breathing in 
'''Kacey:''' Well, that doesn’t make sense because your heart doesn’t do your air 
'''Chris:''' Let me put it another way. You’re slouched over and you’re breathing it’s more difficult for the air to get to your lungs and your heart when you’re slouched over. But when you’re straight up in posture then it’s easier for the air to get to your lungs and your heart. 
'''Kacey:''' Um no… What? 
'''Chris:''' Come on, you’re the nurse major you should know that! 
'''Kacey:''' Chris that’s not even remotely true! Just because you’re slouched over doesn’t mean that you can’t get air. 
'''Chris:''' I did not say CAN’T get air, I just said that- 
'''Kacey:''' It doesn’t make it difficult either because your body’s circulatory system takes care of that whether you’re slouched over or not. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, okay while I didn’t- surely you’ve personally, you’re slouched over and your breath but you found that you had to breathe in more because it was like- a longer trip for the air. I’ve felt that 
'''Kacey:''' Chris it’s the same distance no matter what position you’re in, your body doesn’t (exasperated sigh) 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, Okay well, I don’t know, I just learned a little bit more about the expression open your heart. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, So let’s just leave it at that. 
'''Kacey:''' Right. 
'''Chris:''' Okay. So anyway, I really enjoyed the yoga, but since I’ve been not doing my walking and running like I wanted to I did an hour around the Fashion Square Mall before I went home 
'''Kacey:''' That’s good, just remember you’ve got to get your heart rate up, walking doesn’t help all that much. 
'''Chris:''' I think I did a little power walking in there, so yeah. I’ll get there- I mean, I’ll jog more around the neighborhood at my own pace, you know? 
''''Kacey:''' But if you don’t get your heart rate up to a certain level, you’re not going to lose anything. You really should Google this. You have to push yourself. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… I… yeah. Details I have yet to comprehend about that. Anyway also while I was over at the mall I stopped over at the Gamestop to browse around a little bit, and the black cash- the black guy who was working as a cashier there, you know, working at the Gamestop [sound break] square. Yeah, he recognized me. And he’s also friends with a fellow employee, with the guy who works there named Angel. I met him, and he recognized me that Sunday when I gave blood and participated in that Guitar Hero con- Guitar Hero Tournament. He wanted a picture of me and him together, you know, his fellow employee at the time took the picture. It’s a souvenir for him to gloat about, I made his day. The black guy was talking me, yeah, he and Angel were like, “We’re waiting for you to come out with the official Sonichu merchandise, like especially the official Sonichu doll. We’ve seen all this stuff on the internet but we know it’s not official because you say so, and you didn’t official sign off on it or all that.” So you know- 

==Part 2==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 12 Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|QqFniGVcy4c}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
}} </Center>

'''Kacey:''' Well, did you actually give blood? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, that Saturday, yeah. 
'''Kacey:''' So somebody is going to have- your blood is going to save somebody’s life. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but also I double redded. Do you know about that double redding in donating blood? 
'''Kacey:''' You double what? 
'''Chris:''' Double red…Red R-E-D. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay 
'''Chris:''' Okay well I’ll explain it to you, you can probably Google it and find out more. In addition to them taking a pint, taking some of your blood whole, they take a chunk of your blood to. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh, you mean giving plasma 
'''Chris:''' Yeah they took a whole thing of plasma but after that, they have this little machine where they separate the red cells from the plasma and then they give you [sound break] -plasma. Like I said you could Google, and learn more to better understand. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh no, I just know it as giving plasma, that’s fine. 
'''Chris:''' You know, mm’kay. Anyway that’s double red. Two words, you can Google it. It’s a thing that I started probably before that weekend. It’s like, new. 
'''Kacey:''' Well, I’m proud of you for giving blood that’s very noble and stuff, you know? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I’ve donated blood before and that’s how I learned I’m an A negative blood type. 
'''Kacey:''' Yes, A negative 
'''Chris:''' Yeah anyway getting back on today, after talking to that guy, you know, I came home. And after I came home I finally printed out the three copies of the Number Zero Book and three copies of my resume. I’m gonna send them out to Marvel, Archie and Dark Horse Comics. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay 
'''Chris:''' And also I’m going to [inaudible] creating all the audiobook videos for Youtube. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay, just remember get those done soon and the pictures. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I’ll [inaudible] more on the sexy drawings, I’ve already got the three girls on drawing reference so from that point all I have to do- on I can do, yeah, sex drawings. Yeah, and then before I upload those drawings I have to make one or two Youtube videos of me playing of me playing Guitar Hero 5 with my female band. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh are you going to upload those to the CWCipedia because you should. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm yeah, Kim encouraged me to do that in a private area, you know. And the sex drawings I’m probably going to put those like in the- You know I have a section of the Fan Art that guidelines what not to submit for consideration in the Fan Art section? 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' I could put the sex drawings there. 
'''Kacey:''' Cool 
'''Chris:''' I put a warning on there, where it’s like you have to be 18 or older to view these. And plus, they’re like drawings, like art pieces I got from the ED Page. 
''''Kacey:''' Okay 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, where was I… Yeah I’ll work more on the drawings tonight, and I’ll get all the audiobooks done tomorrow. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay, well I have a question that’s just going through my mind. Because you told me how much you think I weighed. How much do you think Kim weighs? I just want to see what you think. 
'''Chris:''' How much Kim weighs? I’m not sure, I’d say 175, 150 somewhere between there? 
'''Kacey:''' What did you say again, I’m sorry? 
'''Chris:''' I’d say about 150 to 175 is my guess. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh, okay. So I can’t remember how much you say you weigh. Did you weigh yourself recently? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, last time I checked, when I was going in for my quad-check up with my doctor, they had to put me on a scale, just to see how much I weighed and do my blood pressure. But yeah- I’m about, somewhere between 215 and 220. 
'''Kacey:''' Well have you done it recently within the past couple of weeks? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah we don’t have a scale here at home so it’s kind of hard for me to do that. 
'''Kacey:''' Maybe you should go get one, who knows? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Kacey:''' They probably have one at yoga class 
'''Chris:''' Funny, I did not really see a scale at yoga class or one in the closet where the [inaudible] were, so I don’t know. Mmm. So I just told you my blood type, do you know what your blood type is? 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah it’s A positive. 
'''Chris:''' Wow, we’re so close, we’re both A’s 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah, A is a pretty popular bloodtype 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, it’s not, I mean it’s not- wait a minute. Are the A’s common or uncommon? 
'''Kacey:''' A is pretty common. AB and O are fairly uncommon. It’s A, then B, then O and then AB. 
'''Chris:''' So it’s A, then B, then O, then AB 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah 
'''Chris:''' SO between A positive and A negative is there just an A? 
'''Kacey:''' No it’s A negative and A positive, it has to do with the antigens 
'''Chris:''' The antigens? 
'''Kacey:''' Yes 
'''Chris:''' Okay that’s a new word to me. 
'''Kacey:''' Well you should probably look it up, it’s all in blood type. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah okay. Antigens. Is that like, I’m gonna spell it how it sounds, is that spelled A-N-T-O-G-E-N 
'''Kacey:''' What? It’s A-N-T-I-G-E-N 
'''Chris:''' Oh, A-N, oh Antigen, antigen, ok. So A is for Antigen, what’s B and O? 
'''Kacey:''' What? No everything has antigens except for type O 
'''Chris:''' Okay so type B has antigen in it as well 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah they have the B an- you just have to look it up 
'''Chris:''' Yeah okay, it’s very interesting 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah, blood is very interesting 
'''Chris:''' Let me ask you, why is it a bad idea to mix blood types, like if you put B or O in an A positive or A negative person. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay O is the universal donor, so they can give to anyone because they don’t have antigens. AB can receive anyone because they have both A and B antigens. If you take the wrong antigen and put it in someone’s blood stream, they will die because their body will attack itself. So if you put A antigens in a B bloodtype, they’re going to kill each other and then you die. 
'''Chris:''' Oh, okay so AB and O are neutral. 
'''Kacey:''' No, O is neutral it has no antigens, it is the universal donor so anyone can take O blood. AB is the universal receiver so they can take anyone’s blood because they have all the antigens 
'''Chris:''' OK so AB is the universal receiver, okay 
'''Kacey:''' Yes 
'''Chris:''' Wow, A and B it’s like those are opposite types, huh. 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah people with O, even though they can give to anyone they can only have O blood, but AB can take anyone’s blood. 
'''Chris:''' Which is more rare, AB or O 
'''Kacey:''' AB usually, because it’s got both the of them, but it’s by a small margin. 
'''Chris:''' Huh, I see. Is blood type- I’m sure blood types are genetic aren’t they? 
'''Kacey:''' Of course almost everything is genetic. Actually blood type is very important in cultures, not so much of ours, but in other cultures they use blood type to determine personalities and for match-making, it’s kind of outdated but they still do that. 
Chris: Yeah I think we talked about that in a previous conversation about personality traits in comparison to blood types, and then, yeah, I can Google that as well. 
'''Kacey:''' Right 
'''Chris:''' Yeah we talked about that before. 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah [laughs] 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm, well okay, let me ask you though, A positive and A negative would you say those are opposing, opposite of each other. If you put A negative in the A plus- A positive and they die? 
'''Kacey:''' What? 
'''Chris:''' If you put A negative blood in an A positive person will the A positive person- 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah you can’t mix that, you don’t want to. 
Chris: Oh, okay. I get it, cool. 
Kacey: Well, anything else on your mind? 
Chris: Let me think. Oh yeah, I asked my mom earlier today why she thinks that I often blank out or I’m often confused. 
Kacey: Uh huh 
Chris: She theorizes it’s because I’m a creative genius. You know, I’m a very creative guy, and I have so many creative thoughts coming in and out and they differ from what’s currently in my mind and- 
Kacey: Well I’m really creative and I don’t blank out. I’m serious when I say there’s a serious, serious thing that could be wrong with you. You blanking out like that, It could be you’re not getting adequate nutrition, it could mean you’re dehydrated. It could mean you could have something wrong seriously like a tumor or something. 
Chris: Mmm, I don’t know it’s a theory my mom had, but anyway point was, so many creative thoughts pretty much derails my train of thought and puts me in a blank state or confusion. That’s just from my mom’s point of view and how she understands it, something like that. 
Kacey: I don’t know. That just doesn’t make sense to me. 
Chris: Okay, say you want to remember something from like, yeah from like ten conversations ago, but then you try to remember, but it’s like it’s hard for you to remember because of all your incoming creative ideas at the time, or- 
Kacey: The brain doesn’t work that way. 
Chris: Come on, memory in the brain is like random access memory just like in any computer, it’s random. 
Kacey: No it’s not. No, no, no, no 
Chris: Did you voice just get deep there? 
Kacey: Sorry I covered my mouth with my hands 
Chris: Well it could be just- 
Kacey: It was just my voice echoing through my hands, that’s all it was. 
Chris: Okay 
Kacey: I mean yes, there have been comparisons to the brain being like a computer, but it’s not like that. It’s not like a switchboard where things can get plugged up or anything. There are so many places in your brain that have to do with memory, I just don’t even know how to explain this. 

==Part 3==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 12 Part 3
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|MF2tBcIRaYQ}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 13]]
}} </Center>

Chris: Okay, well you’re probably right, it could be the nutrition thing, but I’m drinking water more, nowadays and I’m getting on track [inaudible] vegetation and having a more healthy lifestyle and my daily exercise regimen so I’ll probably get better on that. 
Kacey: You should actually talk to your doctor about it, because if you are suffering from poor nutrition they can give you tests. You really should look into that. 
Chris: Okay, well I’ll be sure to- 
Kacey: Maybe you have an iron deficiency, you should totally ask. 
Chris: Yeah well before my check-up I usually go in a little earlier and give a little blood for blood work so they would know at that point. SO they would know at that point. So I’ll be sure to talk to my doctor about that. 
Kacey: Okay that’s good. 
Chris: Alright 
Kacey: Okay, well anything else? 
Chris: Yeah, the current money I spent on so far this month I will definitely know about that, I promise, I’ll send you a message. 
Kacey: Okay cool, thanks 
Chris: I do want to tell you that, but I’m not [inaudible] bank account number or anything like that [laughs] 
Kacey: Okay [laughs] 
Chris: Yeah but anyway, Oh shoot I had another thought in my head… [mumbles] What I spent on so far this month, shoot I lost the other thought… hmmm, oh well. Hmm, what else is on your mind? 
Kacey: Just, you know, all my tests and all my projects and stuff. I really don’t have anything else. 
Chris: Learn anything new today? 
Kacey: We just went over some of the projects, we didn’t go over anything I didn’t already know, so I’m good. We’re still in review. 
Chris: Your project’s like, essays. 
Kacey: No I have a five page paper that’s for Anthropology, and I have to get people to take these surveys and then I have to cross reference everything by state, region, nationwide and worldwide. So it’s going to be a really easy paper, it’s just the research that’s going to get me. 
Chris: Hmmm, survey huh? You know, I can probably take that if you email me the questions on your survey. 
Kacey: Okay, I totally can. 
Chris: I’d be happy to help you with that. 
Kacey: Okay, I will totally do that. 
Chris: Just type in the email or type it in a Microsoft Word file and I will download it and open it up on my Microsoft Word. 
Kacey: Okay 
Chris: And then I’ll put the answers on the Word file and add my name to it, or I can put it in an email reply, the answers. 
Kacey: Okay, that’d be cool. 
Chris: Oh, I just remembered the other thought. I thought about more, about the five hundred word minimum essay I was gonna do for you about Autism, I thought about what I could do for that. 
Kacey: Mmhmm 
Chris: I thought about just refreshing myself on the characteristics of a person with Autism, you know like on Autism.org that’s a good place to go, or look it up on Wikipedia. And comparing it to my actual, real life experiences, you know, how I have exhibited some of those characteristics, and also, you know how I got better from that later on in life. 
Kacey: Okay 
Chris: Yeah, I’m just thinking, like you know, I’m thinking good for you there. Because I like to help out. 
Kacey: Aw, thank you. 
Chris: Okay 
Kacey: Well, I’ve got to go to bed, because I’ve got class in the morning, so let me go ahead and let you go and I will talk to you tomorrow. 
Chris: Alright sweet dreams 
Kacey: Okay, alright bye 
Chris: Alright, Bye-bye. 
[call ends]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?2i238caqrp6h00o mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 11]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 13]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Mumble 4

2012-06-26T21:51:48Z

Samboy: /* Summary */ Chris didn't make a losing move.

The fourth of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]] on 6 [[February 2009]].

Length: '''48:34'''
==Summary==

* Chris is uploading the [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|second gay video]].
* Chris and [[Clyde]] play tic-tac-toe.
* Chris explains why he didn't go to [[Miyamoto]].
* Clyde asks why Chris has spent over $1000 on [[PSN]]. Chris tries to label $1000 as an obvious exaggeration, a [[lie]] that Clyde calls him out on. Chris guesses that he's spent $10000 on games over the past 9 years, but claims to be recovering from his spending problem.
* [[Julie]] says she'd stay with Chris even if he becomes homeless. Chris, on the other hand, seems content to leech off of his family.
* Clyde asks Chris to name 5 bills associated with the house. Chris's can't.
* "If anything" says Chris "I'm overqualified [...] for every type of job available."
* Clyde describes the wild woman he loved, who killed herself.

18:30

* Clyde says Chris doesn't know what love is.
* Chris gets emotional on the subject that [[PandaHalo]] (Sarah) got with Clyde, but less so when Clyde says she might be dead.
* Chris saw the movie ''[[Wikipedia:Just Friends|Just Friends]]''. "Romantic comedies build hope for TRUE romances." Memories build toward love. Without such honest feelings, it's as meaningless as sex with a prostitute.

25:30

* Chris denies just wanting [[sex]].
* In a woman, Chris looks for a caring personality, strong emotions, a strong will, all-around personality. But definitely not [[niggos|black]]. But he's not racist. "I would care about a black woman as a friend, honestly. But, you know, I would not want it beyond just friendship."

28:10

*Chris does a retarded imitation of a Jamaican racist. He also likens himself to Archie Bunker (from ''All in the Family''), who was intended to be reprehensible bigot.
*The [[Donald Duck impersonation]] scares the shit out of Clyde.

31:20

* Chris justifies giving advice with the quote: "Those who are unable to, teach."
* Chris burps.
* Chris tells Clyde he wants to apologize to [[Vivian]] for not being receptive to her advice.
* The [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|second gay video]] is up.

39:00

* Clyde tells Chris to get rid of his material possessions for Julie. Chris says it'd take him more than 8 hours.
* Chris has read [[R.L.Stine|R.L. Stine]] books, "the one with George and... Lenny?", the Bible, ''The Giver'', Pamela Anderson's ''Star'', ???, another one on the tip of his tongue, and he's reading [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|Vivian's book]].
* Clyde gives Chris 3 days to sell or throw away his shit. (The result is [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009]].)

48:00

* The other [[trolls]] jizz all over Clyde.

=== Transcript ===

 '''BlueSpike:''' Alright, so anyway. (?)
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I redid the video. I did not use the word “[[gaybian]]”. I did not use it.
 '''Clyde:''' [interrupts] Let's watch and find out okay?
 '''Chris:''' Well, it's gonna be 'bout a half-hour to an hour
 '''Clyde:''' Let's play a little game. It's called [[Wikipedia:Tic-tac-toe|Tic-tac-toe]]. You know, with the circles and the X's. Okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Clyde:''' I call the middle square. What square do you call?
 '''Chris:''' Mmmm. Upper Left.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, then I call the one right below it.
 '''Chris:''' I call... middle right.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, I'm just messing with you. Let's not play this game. Chris, I have to ask you one- one very important question.
 '''Chris:''' Shoot.
 '''Clyde:''' Ah man, my memory's going. Why... why do you drop women on the...just you know, on the tip of the hat? I mean, you and whatshername, [[PandaHalo|Sarah... Cassandra Mackenzie]]. I-I mean God, You said yourself you were like, really close for months and months.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Clyde:''' And you drop her on the, just drop it right there and you didn't go to [[Nintendo]]. You didn't do anything. Why didn't you do a thing?
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm...Uh... hmm...Well, because I felt uncertain of a lot of details. Like I wasn't totally sure I was talking to the real Mr. MAIyamoto. And plus I didn't have my family's support. And uh I really did not have the money to make the trip.
 '''Clyde:''' You just blew your chance, Chris. You know- you know that whatever you say will be taken as crazy talk but you know I'm already working with uh, [[Reggie]] right? It's not going to happen for quite a few months in fact. But be prepared, be prepared.
 '''Chris:''' For what?
 '''Clyde:''' You know, Rabbichoso. Come on.
 '''Chris:''' I bet it'll go straight to $9.99 bin.
 '''Clyde:''' [laughs] Of course, because it's being priced at $9.99. It's not a full-priced game. You know that. You know, it's going to be on like PlayStation Network. Well it's probably not. It's probably just gonna be on Wii Ware. Still good, it'll be just like [[Wikipedia:Cave Story|''Cave Story'']]. You ever play ''Cave Story''?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Clyde:''' Do you play any good games? I mean, Christ. You spent over $1,000 on the PlayStation Network...why would you spend so much [[money]]?
 '''Chris:''' I play a lot of good [[games]].
 '''Clyde:''' N-never mind about the good games part, that's irrelevant bullshit. Why would you spend over $1,000 on the PlayStation network?
 '''Chris:''' How do you know I spent over $1,000 on the PlayStation Network? Because that could be an obvious exaggeration right there.
 '''Clyde:''' It's not an obvious exaggeration.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Clyde:''' I have your records detailing your intimate history from March [[2007|'07]] to [[January 2009|January '09]] of every single purchase you ever made. I calculated it. It's over $1,000.
 '''Chris:''' You don't have-You don't even have to track the history you could just go to my download list and then figure out which ones are demos-
 '''Clyde:''' Exactly, it's been over $1,000 Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Alright fine, woopty freakin' doo, $1,000. But it's only a little bit at a time over a long period of time.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, you don't know anything about saving money. How much have you spent on games?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... well I spend a lot.
 '''Clyde:''' How much do you think you spent over the last nine years?
 '''Chris:''' Nine... well, yup. Mmmm...I'd say estimate, uh, taking a rough guess here. Fine, $10,000. I'm just taking a guess.
 '''Clyde:''' Ugh, Christ, man. If you can't afford the money then you can't afford to save anything for your future; for [[Daughter|your future children]]; for [[Lovely Weather|your future wife]]. You don't think about the future do you? You just think about now; you just think about what you want now; what you want-
 '''Chris:''' Fine well I'm not- well, I'll admit I'm not- I wasn't very good at money, I was compulsive on spending.
 '''Clyde:''' You still are.
 '''Chris:''' I'm recovering. Hey at least I'm not that far gone to admit it that I have a problem with spending and I admit the problem, that's the first step to recovery.
 '''Clyde:''' That's far from the first step, you have to do something.
 '''Chris:''' I am, I'm taking initiative to save.
 '''Clyde:''' And how much have you saved?
 '''Chris:''' Ugh, well I have bills to- I have credit card bills to pay!
 '''Clyde:''' For the past five years, I've been working on a little egg to save money. I spent- I've dipped into it a bit. This is- ain't, from my parents inheritance and some miles I can call him (?). I got 15,000 saved Chris, for the past five years Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Well good for you, I praise you for that.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm saying you can't even save $100. What makes you think you can support a family?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]''
 '''Clyde:''' [[Julie]], why would you want to be with this man? He can't support a family, he can't support you!
 '''Julie:''' Because I love him.
 '''Chris:''' Not right away- but, but give me time.
 '''Julie:''' Because I truly love him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. The power of love and God- and God- and power of prayer and God's help and enough time, it can work.
 '''Clyde:''' And what will you do if you're homeless? What will you do?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, homeless. That diff- that's a tough one. Well, there's a thing called family. I have good people in my family.
 '''Clyde:''' Julie, are you going to take this? You're going to accept living without a home? Really?
 '''Julie:''' If it's with Chris, yes.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh my god, you two are going to die faster than I can say autistic. Christ! You- I can't believe it. You would accept being homeless.
 '''Julie:''' Yes, I would.
 '''Clyde:''' Enjoy your death, enjoy your death.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, you don't know what-
 '''Julie:''' Chris will never be homeless.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah and besides- besides Clyde, you don't know- you don't know what kind of lifestyle Julie had to gre-grew up with. I mean she came from a poor country.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Interrupts]'' And this is what you're going to treat her to, is the same-the same old life she had before. That's very gentlemen-like Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Now I'm gonna tr- I'm gonna do my best to try to give her a mor- a much more comfortable life, I'll do my best.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, when your parents die, what's gonna happen to your house, what's going to happen?
 '''Chris:''' You're asking me when my parents die, what's going to happen to my house?
 '''Clyde:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' [[Slow in the mind|Well, I assume the house is still gonna be on the land it was built upon.]]
 '''Clyde:''' Oh, so it's not yours anymore, interesting. Interesting.
 '''Chris:''' Well actually they're leaving it to me. So there.
 '''Clyde:''' So you've got a house, that's decent. Tell me, name five bills associated with, you know, maintaining the house. Can you even name five?
 '''Chris:''' Five bills associated with maintaining the house. Alright, there's the electricity, the water...abuhbuhbuhbuhbuh ''[muttering]''... food, clothing-
 '''Clyde:''' Food and clothing are not part of the house. That's part of the, you know, daily life. I'm talking about the actual house.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' Okay, there's, uh, hardware like-
 '''Clyde:''' What hardware? For what?
 '''Chris:''' Like for roofing. For one thing
 '''Clyde:''' Do your parents even own the house?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, they own the house.
 '''Clyde:''' Do they have a mortgage on it? What, anything?
 '''Chris:''' They do not have a mortgage on it.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh, so they own the house. Legally. Interesting. Well, you got one thing going for you, you at least have a house. But I don't know, man if you can actually survive in it.
 '''Chris:''' Tsk-tsk. You are so quick to under- to undermine a person. And underestimate them.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm not being quick to undermine a person. I'm thinking of what a family man should do, okay?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sudden awful ''[[Family Guy]]'' impersonation]'' Hey listen, Peter Griffin, he's a family guy and he's retarded and yet look at his life! ''[Voice deepens into what is probably a horrible [[Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] impersonation]'' Homer Simpson D'oh!
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Disbelieving]'' That's a cartoon. That's not real life. Not-not even the closest.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but it's based on the real life associated with the people who created them.
 '''Clyde:''' No it's not! You think Matt Groening's life is like Homer's life? Of course not!
 '''Chris:''' ''[More awful Homer Simpson impersonation]'' Well I don't know if it's close my life, but I feel like it's close enough to be with my own life! And nobody better lay a finger on my son's [[Wikipedia:Butterfinger|Butterfinger]]! D'oh!
 '''Clyde:''' What?! [softly] Oh-Chri- So are you saying that ''The Simpsons'' is exactly like real life?
 '''Chris:''' I'm not saying that necessarily, but if they can survive it in their own way, then I feel I can survive it in my own way- at my own pace. And that uh- with the power of prayer, and God by my side, and my sw- and my [[sweetheart]], things will work out.
 '''Clyde:''' Let me tell you something. Things don't magically “work out.” Things don't work that way. The real world does not work that way.
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to do the heavy work, and all the work associated with all that.
 '''Clyde:''' Now now, I know you said you're going to be a house husband? Right?
 '''Chris:''' That or I can go out and get a job.
 '''Clyde:''' And what kind of job can you get? What do you qualify for?
 '''Chris:''' If anything I'm overqualified!
 '''Clyde:''' For what?!
 '''Chris:''' Every- every type of job available!
 '''Clyde:''' You think you can be the CEO of a company?
 '''Chris:''' Hey, put me behind a desk and tell me what to do and I'll do it!
 '''Clyde:''' The thing is a CEO ''tells'' people what to do. If you need something be told then you are not qualified to do that job.
 '''Chris:''' I don't have to be- hey. I just need- hey if I am the one that needs to be telling everybody what to do then I have to find out what the company is about, and all things associated with the company, or whatever I'm the CEO of, and then I will give real thought, sound decisions and direction.
 '''Clyde:''' What kind of job can you get within your degrees? What will your degrees get you?
 '''Chris:''' If anything, like a job [[Bob|my father]] had working at [[Wikipedia:General Electric|General Electric]]. Like for example he designed the controls for the plastic molding machines, so, without him, you would not have the plastic for your keyboard.
 '''Clyde:''' Okay, so you think you can design some... something I don't know whatever you just said.
 '''Chris:''' Hey without him you would not even have anything as simple as a plastic-
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Interrupts]'' I'm talking about you, I'm not talking about your dad. I'm talking about you.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Clyde:''' I'm talking about ''you''. What can you do?
 '''Chris:''' I can do anything I am capable of, if I set my mind to
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Exasperated]'' I am asking you what you are capable of!
 '''Chris:''' I'm capable of a lot of things!
 '''Clyde:''' I'm telling you to be specific!
 '''Chris:''' I'm creative.
 '''Clyde:''' God. You said you had that CADD degree, and you- and I asked you to send that, I want to see what you-
 '''Chris:''' It takes- It takes creativity to create such things like I did in the [[CADD]] classes.
 '''Clyde:''' Your CADD degree, right? You had [[CWCville Mall|that mall]]? I want to see this mall, I want to see if you're actually qualified. I want to see if you're actually qualified to get a job.
 '''Chris:''' You want to see it, huh? Alright, give me a moment, I'll write the email for ya.
 '''Clyde:''' You know my email. [[Gregg Mays]] with the G's.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I'm gonna send it to you from my Gmail address because it's a big file.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright. If it's a big file it's probably better, isn't it?
 '''Chris:''' Well that depends on your perception.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Laughs]'' Never mind. I'd love to see this though. Looking forwards to it.
 ''[Intermittent background noise]''
 '''Chris:''' On its way. Right now.
 '''Clyde:''' Good. I'm looking forwards to seeing it. I wanna see.
 '''Julie:''' Hey Chris.
 '''Clyde:''' Julie, you wanna see something?
 '''Julie:''' No, not really.
 '''Clyde:''' This is the man that's also gonna be your future husband. I'm just saying. You always have a chance to back out now.
 '''Julie:''' I would never. I would never.
 '''Clyde:''' Come on Julie, you don't want to do this. You don't want to do this. I beg of you. You don't want to be with this man. You don't.
 '''Chris:''' Julie, I care about you. I care about you very much.
 '''Julie:''' Chris is right. I do want to be with him.
 '''Clyde:''' You can give as much love. You can say all those empty “I love yous” over and over. Let me tell you something.
 '''Chris:''' When it comes from the heart, they are not empty. And every time I say I love you I have my heart behind me.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Laughs]'' Every time you say “I love you”! You say “I love you” to every woman that walks down the street! [mockingly] You said that to [[Megan]], you said that to [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], you say that to all those people!
 '''Chris:''' I- we- Because I was very close to each of those women! And I always meant it from my heart!
 '''Clyde:''' Whoa, you're going out with multiple women at once? That's a little- ehh, you know, you're treading some dangerous ground there.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, I can't help it if they all moved on with their lives. They didn't- couldn't stick around. That doesn't mean I'm not- I'm gonna hold it against them. I still care about them individually. I mean that, from my heart. Just like I care about Julie right now. Very much.
 '''Clyde:''' You don't know what love is, do you Chris?
 '''Chris:''' I know that love takes a lot of hard work and deep emotions. Obviously a lot more than you are capable of feeling, Clyde.
 '''Clyde:''' Let me tell you about the girl I loved.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Clyde:''' She was a wild one. She did shit that most women never do. She was a wild one. Did sports, dropped out of school, did drugs. She killed herself. Still don't get over that.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry to hear that.
 '''Clyde:''' Let me tell you something. Tell you something. You still don't know what love is. You move on from woman to woman. If one is out of your reach, you just move on to the next one. You ditched the prospect of [[Sarah Hammer]] just for Megan and ''[Microphone cuts out]''.
 '''Chris:''' I- did not ditch her. I mean I tell ya. I was so hurting in my heart and my soul that I had to lose her to you. Really hurt me. It wasn't an immediate decision for me to move on. I had to make myself emotionally stable. ''[Starts stammering]'' And build up the- and build up so much in my head sorting all the details out at my own pace. It was hard. Very hard. ''[Sigh]'' But then I have- but then I have to realize I have like- I mean besides I haven't heard from Sarah in a long time. I could- I didn't even know what- I couldn't- I guess I just never really knew from her point of view. I mean I had to hear it from- I have to hear it from her own mouth that she is going to be with you. But I never heard so ''[voice cracks]'' heartbreak.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright I'll tell you the truth. Ever since the move, I haven't heard from her either. I fear she might be dead.
 ''[Long pause]''
 '''Chris:''' I see.
 '''Clyde:''' I don't know where she is or what she's doing. She hasn't responded to me either. I had some nice pictures, I announced the wedding, but, ahh it's... I dunno. It's all gone. At least for now. She's supposedly in America right now, you know that, right? Could she be searching for you? ''[Laughs]'' I doubt it.
 '''Chris:''' Well I don't know. Can't say for sure, because yes, I have not heard from her.
 '''Clyde:''' Looks like she's probably moved on from both of us. I don't know what's going to happen to my child. [''sighs''] [''inaudible''] Now, I just want to ask you a few questions about- about your past life. You know there's this, You know there's this person called [[Wes Iseli]]? You seen- you know he's on youtube? He's married now, you know that?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry. Could you repeat his name please?
 '''Clyde:''' Wes Iseli, you know, the magician?
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Wes EYES-LEE.
 '''Clyde:''' I don't know how to pronounce it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well, okay- yeah, okay, so he's married. Is that what you just said?
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, he's married now. Not to whatever-her-face was but, he's married, he's still successful and he's doing charity work. He's a very impressive man.
 '''Chris:''' Well, good for him.
 '''Clyde:''' How could you hate a man like that?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' I was jealous. Jealousy got the best of me then.
 '''Clyde:''' But what made you think that Sarah wanted you in any way?
 '''Chris:''' She and I were childhood friends.
 '''Clyde:''' Is that it?
 '''Chris:''' We were very close. She was my- we were literally next door neighbors.
 '''Clyde:''' Then welcome to the friendzone! Where you'll be friends forever and never be anything beyond that.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, I saw the movie [[Wikipedia:Just Friends|''Just Friends'']].
 '''Clyde:''' You know romantic comedies are just... bullshit.
 '''Chris:''' Romantic comedies build hope for true romances. And they build up for stronger romances. Though, I think I have a good general understanding of how to keep a romance true and strong.
 '''Clyde:''' No you don't. All you know is what's on TV and what's on movies and whatever. And they're lies, Chris, those are lies. And they've influenced you to a point where you just believe romance is saying "I love you" over and over and over. Like you're fated to be with a lover or something.
 '''Chris:''' I- it- it- it's a lot more than just saying I love you over and over again. It's a lot more than that. It's about building so many memories with the woma- with the person the- uh- person of the opposite gender that you truly love and care about. Growing fond memories, being close together. So many priceless- priceless. So close.
 '''Clyde:''' Memories. That- that's not what love is about.
 '''Chris:''' And those- Those memories build towards the true love. And honest- in the honest emotions that have to occur during that relationship. Because without the emo- because without the true love and honest emotions, it's just about as meaningless as sex with a prostitute.
 '''Clyde:''' Why don't you do that? I mean, come on man.
 '''Chris:''' Because I desire meaning. I take it to heart.
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I mean, [[Fuck Quest|all you want is sex]]. It's pointless to argue.
 '''Chris:''' You're wrong! You are absolutely wrong! I [[Lie|don't just want sex!]] I want the true honest relationship that goes along with that. If I just wanted sex I would have [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|hired a prostitute]] and gotten an STD years ago.
 '''Clyde:''' So you have an STD. Interesting.
 '''Chris:''' No. I said I would have hired a prostitute and got an STD. I do not have an STD.
 '''Clyde:''' And it looks like you'll never get one for your entire life. I mean, what do you look for in a woman.
 '''Chris:''' I look for ten- I look for caring personality, and strong emotions, strong willed. All around personality. Woman who will be good to me. And is not afraid to uh- to uh things to uh, to keep the relationship strong and alive, But also- Hmmm. Somebody also this woman who will just love me for me. And I will love her mutually. Her for her. And for who she is, and she love me for who I am.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh come on! I saw that, whatever you, that one myspace thing, you say you're looking for, blonde woman, not black, not a policewoman, not autistic, you know, under some weight. Come on man!
 '''Chris:''' So I was a bit more picky back then! And plus I wasn't, plus I wasn't sure if all the total details. I mean- I mean I've learned! That it gets more beyond the physical attributes. But still, call me [[Chris and race|old-fashioned]] but, I'd rather be- I would not- I'd uh- I'd definitely wouldn't uh... '''[[Niggos|NOT BLACK.''' Not black]]. Uh, I mean every other- all the other races would just like a majority... out of the whole bunch of races- [[Lie|I'm not being racist here]], Julie.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[In disbelieving shock]'' How is that not racist?! Come on! You blatantly said "not black!" Not black, come on.
 '''Chris:''' I mean, I am willing to have- I mean I would care- I would care about a black woman as a friend. Honestly. But you know, not b- I would not want beyond just friendship.
 '''Clyde:''' You still have a lot to learn. That's about looks. Not about personality. You're still being racist.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sudden '''amazingly racist''' imitation of a Jamaican person]'' Hey don't you play for me no fool man.
 '''Clyde:''' What... What was that?
 '''Chris:''' You figure it out.
 '''Clyde:''' I didn't- I have no comment on- what was that?!
 '''Chris:''' ''[more racist imitation]'' Oh that is the imitation of a black person or somebody from Jamaica!
 '''Clyde:''' You- you do know those are different- oh Christ almighty! So you are racist, my god.
 '''Chris:''' ''[More ear rape]'' Hey well if it fits Archie Bunker's shoes then let it be! But I am not totally racist man. ''[Normal voice]'' I am not racist.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Laughing]'' Then what was that?! What was that?
 '''Chris:''' You just- I uh- you just threw a label at me so I just imitated someone who actually was.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh my Christ. Christ almighty. I don't know what to say to that. You know what you should do
 '''Chris:''' ''[Still more ear rape]'' [[South Park|Respect mah authoriTAH!]]
 '''Clyde:''' Why don't you do a [[Donald Duck impersonation]]?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Still more ear rape]'' (''Inaudible Donald Duck impression'') ... after I do a Donald Duck imitation.
 '''Clyde:''' Why do you enjoy scaring me like this?
 '''Chris:''' Well... mmm... I did not mean to scare you. I was just being entertaining.
 '''Clyde:''' That was frightening.
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to lighten up the conversation. hey, if uh, if an imitation is imitatable [''sic''], then it's- it's okay then. Oh wait wait. Okay, imiatable to a certain point.
 '''Clyde:''' I...oh my God, I'm shaking. What was that voice? Th- that was hell...
 '''Chris:''' You asked me to do Donald Duck. ''[In Donald Duck voice]'' That was Donald Duck.
 '''Clyde:''' I know that's Donald Duck but my God, you put an end to that madness before it blows up on my childhood and my mind.
 '''Chris:''' Mm...I see. Well I feel for you there.
 '''Clyde:''' I gotta ask you something. I mean, for someone was has never gotten laid or have an actual girlfriend, you still seem to give advice.
 '''Chris:''' It's just- it's like, uh- the stereotype of how anybody would describe any teacher. Those who are unable to, teach.
 [Incoherent interrupting]
 '''Clyde:''' You don't become a math teacher not knowing how to do math. What makes you want to go off about what you should do or what
 '''Chris:''' ''[Burps]'' 'xcuse me. Mm. I figured good sound advice from personal experiences on when I try- when I tried to find myself- a woman to make a sweetheart from the ground up.
 '''Clyde:''' A-and what do you mean by that? From the ground up? Are- what does that mean?
 '''Chris:''' Starting with friendship.
 '''Clyde:''' It sounds like you want to ground up a woman; it sounds like a serial killer to me.
 '''Chris:''' Well, m-maybe it was a bad choice of words I was going with for a long time. But I meant starting from friendship.
 '''Clyde:''' You know, you've been doing a lot of stupid things, and no one has corrected you. What kind of friends do you have?
 '''Chris:''' I have friends who care about me.
 '''Clyde:''' They didn't care about you enough to help you. Christ, I'm probably the closest friend you've got! I'm trying to help you!
 '''Chris:''' Mm. ''[pause]'' I hear you there. You said you were, uh, Vivian Gee's cousin?
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah. ''[pause]'' I've been working with her on Rabbichoso, I mean, I've never been close to her, not much. She introduced Ryan to Sonichu. I still hold a bit of a grudge against her. But we're working on Rabbichoso together and I guess it's ''[unclear]''
 '''Chris:''' ''Sigh.'' ''[pause]'' Anyway, tell Vivian I'm sorry, I, uh, pushed her away, and her, and her sharing her advice with me. I was- I was not very receptive. I'm sorry.
 '''Clyde:''' That's- that's probably one of the most honest things I've heard you say so far. I'm surprised. ''[pause]'' But that doesn't make up for everything you've done. You've gotta take some action, man. If you don't take action, then your words are meaningless.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did take action. By the way, uh, video should be processed by now.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, let me take a look at it...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. It live.
 ''(Clyde watches "[[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]")
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Sigh]'' Alright, I won't cut off an arm or anything. Maybe a few fingers, but that's about it.
 '''Chris:''' No. You leave Julie alone.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Says something but Chris's video is still playing over the top of him]''
 '''Chris:''' Look, I did-
 '''Clyde:''' It looks like the same video to me, what the hell!
 '''Chris:''' ''[Pause]'' Well, at least I did not say "gaybian".
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Pause]'' My god, you must be a really angry man. You just just... God, what IS in your room? Christ Almighty. You have so much stuff in your room, why don't you sell that? ''[Chris's video plays over the top of him, Clyde is hard to hear]'' There is no reason a man should have so many My Little Ponies and action figures and video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well. I have no response.
 '''Clyde:''' Julie, you there? Wouldn't you like to see what Chris has in his room there, all his "mature" stuff? Like My Little Ponies? ''[laughs]''
 '''Chris:''' Look, anyway- Look anyway, I did the uh, video, I said... I said "gayyyy". Will you leave her alone?
 '''Clyde:''' To be honest, I don't feel like leaving her alone. I just came all this way... Not to see the action coming, I mean, it's a waste of money if I don't do anything.
 '''Chris:''' Look... I called- Look. I listen- I... I've been very patient with you. I gave you honest... answers. I gave you some opening... I listened to you openly. I did what you asked me to do. So, please... Oh yeah, and I apologized. For clo- For shutting you and Vivian out before. So, please, leave Julie alone.
 '''Clyde:''' You know what? No one's gonna believe those videos, everyone's gonna think you're straight, you've been doing that for way too long. Alright, one more request, and I'll think you'll enjoy doing this one... I want you to destroy every possession that you'd love to give up for Julie. That will show your dedication for Julie.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]''
 '''Clyde:''' Material goods is nothing you need to hold on to in this mortal world. And you have TONS of stuff. "It is only when you lose everything, is when you're free to do anything."
 ''[Long pause]''
 '''Chris:''' I will give that consideration.
 '''Clyde:''' If you have that up in the next eight hours, I'll leave. I'll leave for good. Everything that you would give up, and it better be a lot of stuff, because you have so much goddamn stuff. Go ahead, sell it all, make tons of money. And then you'll be able to support Julie. And that is enough for me.
 '''Chris:''' Well... In order for me to sort through all that it's gonna take a lot more than eight hours.
 '''Clyde:''' My God, you really do have a lot of things, don't you? I mean, how much of that stuff do you actually use?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Pause]'' The vast majority of it.
 '''Clyde:''' You really use all that... My Little Ponies all the time, the... cards, and the... I don't know what else. You gotta show Julie you goddamn care about her.
 '''Chris:''' It's-
 '''Clyde:''' Sell you shit or destroy your shit, just... do something, make your room look presentable, I mean, Christ Almighty. You still look like a child!
 '''Chris:''' I'm young at heart.
 '''Clyde:''' Everybody has to grow up. Have you ever read ''Catcher in the Rye''?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, no, why'd I ask, you haven't read any book, have you?
 '''Chris:''' I've read- I've read a whole buncha R.L. Stine books. I've read... ah shoot, that one with George and... what's his n- Lenny? Uh... ''Of Mice and Men''.
 '''Clyde:''' You haven't read a serious piece of literature. Have you even read the Bible?
 '''Chris:''' I have read the Bible. And I have read-
 '''Clyde:''' I guess you haven't read one book that's of any merit.
 '''Chris:''' I have READ ''Of Mice and Men''. I have read-
 '''Clyde:''' I said "of merit". Of merit.
 '''Chris:''' I have read ''The Giver''.
 '''Clyde:''' That's ONE book, name at least seven more. No. You can't.
 '''Chris:''' Yes I can.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, go.
 '''Chris:''' Alright... ''[takes deep breath]'' I have read ''The Giver''. I have read ''Of Mice and Men''. I have read... R.L. Stine's ''Goosebumps'', and ''Fear Street''-
 '''Clyde:''' I said have you read a serious book, that is NOT a serious piece of literature.
 '''Chris:''' Well, among the genre, I just threw in two more as individual... books, so, so far, I gave you four.
 '''Clyde:''' ...Alright, that's four.
 '''Chris:''' Alright... Britney Spears- No, no, I'm sorry. Pamela Anderson's ''Star''. That's five. I'd include that. ''[Names another book, sounds like "Bobbitt's Town", I don't know]'' And um, I know I got another one on the tip of my tongue... Give me a moment... ''[Breathes deeply]'' And I'm reading Vivian's book.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright... I'll let that go, because I've read that book too, and I think it's a fantastic piece of literature.
 '''Chris:''' The majority of-
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, here's the deal. Because you have so much stuff, I hope to see tons of that in garbage bags, for sale, at a garage sale. I want to see you at least make a thousand dollars, with all that stuff you can sell. Or, destroy all the stuff, either you destroy it, or make a thousand dollars, that's what I want to see.
 '''Chris:''' Gonna take a lot of time...
 '''Clyde:''' I'm giving you three days.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Clyde:''' You can either destroy all your stuff to prove yourself to Julie, or you can make money. And I suggest you pick wisely. ''[Pause]'' I'd like to see fire. Fire, fire!
 ''[After a long pause, Chris suddenly yells]''
 '''Chris:''' They did that bit in ''Saw III''! Where the guy had to choose between his- between all those toys from his child, or that guy he had... he had that angst against.
 '''Clyde:''' ...I don't know what you're talking about.
 '''Chris:''' ''SAW THREE''.
 '''Clyde:''' What is that?
 '''Chris:''' The movie.
 '''Clyde:''' I don't care about some goddamn movie, okay? I'm asking you... to give up material possessions. Okay, let's see what I have... I got a computer, I got a TV, what else do I got... I've got a printer. Uh, I've got speakers... Man, I've got... a drawing. What else... I really don't got much, to be honest- I got clothes, but everyone needs clothes. You own TOO MUCH shit, Chris. WAY too much. You need to give up some of that, MOST of it, in fact... Give up everything that ISN'T necessary for your survival. And prove to Julie that you are a man... You are a real man, because men don't play with fucking action figures, and... God, I don't know what else you do. Play... card games... It's a children's card game. For children. It's not for 26 year-olds. It's not for 21 year-olds. It's not even for 18 year-olds. I mean, wouldn't you like a nice, empty room, where you and Julie can spend a lot of time together, just thinking? Thinking about the future, thinking about life... I would love a girl who would, you know, just to chat about... whatever goes in the world, and... ride a motorcycle with me. Travel... I would love that.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well listen... I'll go through everything I have and I'll think- I will give it great consideration... Hmmm... Just, please, leave Jul- I prom- Look, I promise. I'll go through everything and I'll deci- and I'll decide for myself... And it's gonna take me quite a bit... definitely quite a bit of time... I'll make out a list... I'll do- I'll list a bunch of it on eBay or... some- yeah, yeah I'll list some of it on eBay. Just, uh, please. Promise me you'll leave Julie alone.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, I just hope to see a video of you just... tossing most of that stuff away, into a dumpster or something. Because most of that stuff isn't sellable. You don't need it. It's worthless, it's nothing. Mere trinkets, in a land that has so much more to offer.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright...
 '''Clyde:''' I give you three days. I'll see you then.
 '''Chris:''' I see. ''[sigh/grunt]''
 ''[Chris leaves and the trolls talk amongst themselves]''

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 3|Mumble Chat 3]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 5|Mumble Chat 5]]|}}

==Links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?rrn2ttm2jrd Download]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Cole Smithey E-mails

2012-06-26T14:28:10Z

Samboy: Seems that Chris' random remembering of 'Rambling' Randy is pretty close to Ran Yeatts' name.

This page is a list of [[emails]] exchanged by [[Chris]] and his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] from March to July, [[2007]]. Notice that Cole's side of the conversation starts well-versed and polite, but prolonged exposure to Chris makes him obscene and mean-spirited. Not shockingly, it seems Chris (and the thought of Barbara) brings out the worst in him.

{{EmailReply|
Hey, Big Bro. :)

Mar 4, 2007

Remember your lil' bro.? It's me, Christian C. It's been a long while. I'm doing good. I graduated from [[PVCC]] with two [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design]] Degrees. And currently, I'm getting by with livin' with my folks and a [[monthly tugboat]]. [[Barbara|Mama]] is doing okay; she's been retired for like over a year now; she feels happier not having to rush back-and-forth through traffic and all that [[stress|hustle and bustle]]. But currently, she mostly sleeps on the couch during a bunch of the day, yet she does get up sometimes to go out with the family or do some work. We haven't seen much of our aunts either.

I have talked to mom, and I quote her when she said, "I do not regret giving life to Cole. We've had a bunch of good years up till the madness. And all things considered I still love Cole very much like any mother would for her son." She really does. :) And I have

<The rest is cut off>}}

{{Email|
Re: Hey, Big Bro. :)

Mar 6, 2007

It's very Christian of [[Barbara]] to not regret having given birth to me but I'm an [[Wikipedia:atheism|atheist]]. I also have no
regrets about emerging from her womb. Although, she is mistaken about the "bunch of good years"
we supposedly had together. I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former
stepfather [[Jerry]], where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings
to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults. The
treatment I received in [[Richmond]], Va was another matter altogether. To raise a child in such
conditions is inexcusable. Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They
were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather
not remember.

As for Barbara professing her "love" for me, I have not seen any evidence of it in close to 20 years,
and that's a very long time. Barbara's definition of love is [[CWC-isms|a hackneyed sentimental term she uses to
extract a response]]. Love is not something you say, it's something you do by staying in contact with
a person, visiting, communicating, asking questions and answering them. You will remember that in
the 16 years that I lived in California, Barbara only visited me one time. In the 11 years that I have
lived in New York, she has never visited me. 
In spite of the fact that it is always the parent's responsibility to guide their relationship with their
children, on several occasions I have gone beyond the call of duty to visit her. But I will never make
such an effort again.

The crux of my problem with Barbara comes from two sources. The first is [[Bob]]'s bitter influence on her, which worked to separate our relationship just as Bob did with his own children with whom he has no association. In nearly 44 years of life, I have never met a meaner or more reprehensible [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republican]] cur than [[Bob Chandler]]. I hope that you will e-mail me when he dies so that I can celebrate. Our mutual hatred has never been a secret, and it points out Barbara's proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates.

The second and more compelling issue that permanently ruined my relationship with Barbara is the litany of [[lies]] she tells anyone who'll listen about the identity of my biological father and about her marriage history.

After lying to me about the identity of my father, Barbara refused to come clean and disclose the truth on the eve on my wedding. This might not sound much to you, but I assure you that I spent 15 years attempting to track down my real father with no help from the one person who could clear the air with a few words, your mother.

As it turns out, Barbara was never married to the man she swore was my real father (Jack Dale Smithey) and to whom she said she was married, but she was married to Ran Coleman Yeatts, a man who visited us when I was a child and who was always introduced as a "friend." I think the fact that Ran's middle name is "Coleman" tells you all you need to know about the true identity of my father. Realize here the double [[lie]] that Barbara told about who she had been married to. It's an example of pathological behavior.

Even in their handling of you when you were a child left alone everyday for years by an unfit baby sitter, Barbara and Bob proved themselves to be careless parents. Everyday of our lives, you and I both pay a price for our parents' selfishness. Bob and Barbara pay a bigger price. They are the lonely and tortured people that they imagined their enemies to be. That is a curse that I would not wish on my worst enemy, especially not my own family.

Yes, I have a great life living in New York City, seeing six movies a week and interviewing my heroes. I live with a wonderful women named Katherine, whose family treats me like one of their own. I play guitar in a Jazz combo every Wednesday night. I spend two weeks out of every year on the French Riviera at the [[Wikipedia:Cannes Film Festival|Cannes Film Festival]], and two weeks in California every [[Christmas]] with Katherine's family. I have everything that I have ever wanted except a mother's love.

The moral of the story here is that just because someone is a mother does not mean that they are automatically a good person or that they are capable of acting as a parent. When Barbara thinks of me every single day of her life, just as I think about her, she may not regret the many wasted days of opportunity she had to share a relationship with her first son. But she does regret the fact that the opportunity will never come again. The best she can hope for is to read every word that I write, in search of clues that will never come.

If you want a kick, Google my name and you'll see some of the many newspapers that run my stuff.

Go ahead and send your [[DVD]] to my address listed below. You and I may be related, but our mother only loves you.

Cole}}

{{EmailReply|
Hey, Big Bro. :)

7/20/07

I hope you're doing well.

Anyhoo, I have a small favor to ask of you, I have previously submitted a video for Playstation's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappea [''sic''] the Rapper contest]], and I am currently among the Top 10 Contestants. If I win the Grand Prize, I can take my [[Megan|Sweet Friend]] with me to the Penny Arcade Expo in Seattle, WA.

Please go to the (http://www.us.playstation.com/vote/parappatherapper/default.aspx ) Playstation Website's Voting Page, and Vote for me; I'm the Lucky 7th Video (the one with the Blue Guitar)
Thank you, and I hope you all are still doing well. :)

Take care;
Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{Email|
Re: Hey, Big Bro. :)

7/21/07

Before you ask any favors, you might want to consult your mother about the past 20 years of secrecy, neglect, avarice and coldness that have irreparably ruined her relationship with me.

Did Bob finally die?

Cole}}

{{EmailReply|
Hey, Big Bro. :)

7/21/07

Joseph Cole Smithey, while I have an understanding of most of the events in momma's past, I am a man who does not judge one in regards of such unpleasentries.

Besides which, [[ego|that is not the point]]; I have a chance to win a trip to Seattle, Washington, attend a big gaming event, possibly take a tour of [[Nintendo]] of [[America]] Inc, two [[PSP]]s with [[PaRappa the Rapper|Parapper the Rapper]] [''sic''] games, and if I should win, I would take my sweet friend, [[Megan Schroeder]]. Although we are not yet on romantic conclusions, I still am fond of her and care about her very much.

I'm only requesting for a vote towards possible romance, towards [[Hanky-panky|a great gaming expierence]] [[Virgin with rage|I have not expierence before]], and towards potental great footage on my next [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|"CWC On TV" DVD]] that I will likely put together around my 50th or sooner.

On another topic, I have viewed your website numerous times, and I have enjoyed reading your well detailed reviews on the movies. I am looking forward to purchasing the DVDs for [[Wikipedia:Grindhouse (film)|Grindhouse]] (Planet Terror/Death Proof), [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]:Movie Film For Theaters, possibly [[Wikipedia:Spider-Man 3|Spider-Man 3]], and [[Transformers]] (I'm a total Autobot fan).

I hope you and your girlfriend are doing well and getting along, and I wish you two the best. And keep up the good work on your reviews. :)

Your Lil' Half bro;
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Email|
Re: Hey, Big Bro. :)

7/23/07

I'll make a deal with you. You find out the identity of my real father from Barbara and e-mail me the person's name, and I will vote for you in your effort to travel to Seattle.

Deal?

Cole}}

{{EmailReply|
Cool.

7/23/07

Well, okay. I just checked with our mother, with total confidence, and upon random remembering, I thought for a moment [[Barbara_Chandler#Ran_Coleman_Yeatts|"Ramblin'" Randy]]; boy was that a totally goofy misconception. Anyway, the name of your Biological father is '''Jack Dale Smithey'''.

Good luck finding anything about him on the web; he was (maybe is) a total [[alcohol|drunk]] and loser. The only good things that came about in that marrage, said our mother, was the fancy wedding (it was a real sister-pleaser, and it pleased our grandmother as well; may she rest in peace), the love feeling that was there for a while, and

<The rest is cut off>}}

{{Email|
Re: Cool.

7/24/07

We have a problem. Jack Dale Smithey is not my biological father. Barbara lied to me in saying that she was married to Jack. However, I do have a copy of her marriage certificate to Ran Coleman Yeatts on June 16, 1961. It seems likely, since Ran's middle name is "Coleman" that this man is my biological father.

Check your information. I will only participate in our deal if I am convinced that the truth has been given.}}

{{Email|
Re: Cool.

7/24/07

I'd also like to add that Barbara never said anything about ever being married to Ran Coleman Yeatts. I would never have know about the marriage had I not made a special trip to Richmond to get copies of all her marriage certificates, which by the way did not include a certificate of marriage to [[Jerry Harmon]] - you figure that one out on your own.

Can you imagine having an essential part of your personal family history shrouded in mystery for 44 years because the one person who could clear the air insists on lying to you. After hiring a private detective to locate Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida and tracking him down, only to have Barbara hang up the phone in my face when I asked her about his revelations, I really don't give a fuck about her or about her fucking lies.

Just FYI.
Cole}}

{{Email|
We have a problem.

7/24/07

We have a problem. Jack Dale Smithey is absolutely not my biological father.

Check your information. I will only participate in our deal if I am convinced that the truth has been given.

Barbara lied in even saying that she was ever married to Jack Dale Smithey. There is no marriage license to support her claim and no marriage photos.

However, I do have a copy of her marriage certificate to Ran Coleman Yeatts on June 16, [[1961]]. It seems likely, since Ran's middle name is "Coleman," that this man is my biological father. However, Barbara never spoke of this marriage and Ran was a frequent visitor to our house when I was young as a "friend of the family." I would never have know about the marriage had I not made a special trip to Richmond to get copies of all her marriage certificates, which by the way did not include a certificate of marriage to Jerry Harmon - you figure that one out on your own.

Can you imagine having an essential part of your personal family history shrouded in mystery for 44 years because the one person who could clear the air insists on lying to you? After hiring a private detective to locate Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida and tracking him down, only to have Barbara hang up the phone in my face when I asked her about his revelations. Needless to say, I really don't give a fuck about Barbara or about her fucking lies.

Regarding "drunk losers." Bob and Barbara met at a bar that my good friend Chuck McGuigan worked at as a bartender, at the time. He witnessed first-hand Barbara and Bob acting out as a couple of drunken losers. It was an ugly episode that Chuck remembers vividly. We still talk about it to this day. Check that information out with your parents.

You have to remember kid, I've been around a lot longer than you, and I know a lot more about Bob and Barbara than even they know I know. Good luck.

Kindest regards,
Cole Smithey
212-369-3937 www.ColeSmithey.com

Cole Smithey - Independent Voice Of Film Criticism Since 1997
Managing Editor
Cole Smithey Entertainment Syndicate}}

{{Email|
Re: We have a problem

7/24/07

Have you started to wonder why it is that you have this "misconception" about who my father. I would submit that since Barbara was never married to Jack, and my name "Cole" matches up with the middle name of the man she never told you she was actually married to (I have proof right here in my hand) Ran Coleman Yeatts.

Your mother has spun a wicked web of lies, and she is the only one who can sort them out. As I told you, I don't give a fuck about her lies. I'm not so interested as to seek out and pay for an expensive DNA test to tell me what I already know -- that Jack Dale Smithey is not my father.

Let me know when that fuck Bob finally drops.

Kindest regards,
Cole Smithey
212-369-3937 www.ColeSmithey.com

Cole Smithey - Independent Voice Of Film Criticism Since [[1997]]
Managing Editor
Cole Smithey Entertainment Syndicate
National, International, Regional Print and Online Media
Daily, Weekly, Monthly and Bi-Monthly Print Media

STAFF FILM EDITOR for London's montly "THE LOCAL MAG"
Member of OFCS (Online Film Critics Society) since 2005

125 E 90th Street #3B
New York NY 10128

Important Note: This e-mail may contain privileged, undisclosed or otherwise confidential information. If you have received this e-mail in error, you are hereby notified that any review, copying or distribution of it is strictly prohibited. Please inform me immediately and destroy the original transmittal. Thank you for your cooperation.}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 [[March 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG
Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG
Image:Cole 07-03-06-4.PNG
Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 [[July 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-07-23.PNG|23 [[July 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 [[July 2007]] emails
Image:Cole 07-07-24-2.PNG
Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{Emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Talk:Facebook

2012-06-23T23:27:47Z

Samboy: /* Cole's Response to Chris */

==To Do==
*archive the messages on a separate page ([[Facebook messages]] works)
*maybe make a separate page to mirror Chris's Facebook account (to clarify, his Facebook page as it appeared before it was hacked - --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:20, 2 June 2009 (CEST))
*include his notes (maybe a separate page for that too, actually)

As for this page, maybe just outline the extent Chris used Facebook, highlight some of the stuff with it, etc. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:09, 1 June 2009 (CEST)

To put it bluntly; this page needs more words. Some of the messages are very funny when juxtaposed. He would rather go out with a jailbait 17 year old "party girl" (read:slut) than a empathetic single mom. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 23:44, 1 June 2009 (CEST)
* A general commentary for the current themes that pop up in Chris's [[Facebook messages]] and in his Facebook page and notes are more warranted than commentary for each and every individual e-mail.

I know that the Miyamoto Saga e-mails have a commentary of it but most of it is from Clyde (RIP) who provides a commentary on what he was saying as he lost the original sent e-mails from when he was Miyamoto.

But really, I think just a general commentary is needed and that Chris's messages are far more amusing and should speak for themselves. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:55, 2 June 2009 (CEST)

Whatever you say, hoss. Mind was a little skewed due to rage.

What to do STILL - Go through his statuses. How lonesome is this fuck going to be? evenmore.zip [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:59, 19 September 2010 (PDT)

==Collapsible gallery==

Oh, and can we make the gallery collapsible? I know standard wiki formatting has the gallery at the bottom, but, like you said, they speak for themselves, so a general commentary would be more aesthetically pleasing below it. Gives the reader space to grasp the fucktardedness before adding our POV. Just a suggestion.--[[User:Jump|Jump]] 04:51, 3 June 2009 (CEST)

*A collapsible gallery would be great, but can you make one? God help us that none of us can't edit unless it's basic shit like making templates (read: copy and pasting stuff from Wikipedia templates, lol), editing pages, etc. Seriously, we could use collapsible galleries in a lot of pages but no one has gotten around to it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:50, 3 June 2009 (CEST)

* Oh, damn, I assumed you were a senior wikifag. I'll see what I can do, it can't be too difficult, right? --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 03:17, 4 June 2009 (CEST)

* I am a wikifag. See [[Template:Collapsible]]. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 03:31, 5 June 2009 (CEST)

==Has Chris regained use of this profile, or is it still under troll control?==
I was under the impression he got it back, but it seems not long ago he posted a status that was pretty clearly a troll. I'm mostly an idiot so there's a good chance this was obvious somewhere long ago, but the article doesn't really address what happened to the profile after trolls hijacked it. Is that something that could be included? --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 10:28, 2 October 2010 (PDT)

== He's still using Facebook ==

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Christian-Weston-Chandler/167832525915

Might wanna update that link.

*LOOKS LEGI- Oh wait. NO IT FUCKING DOESN'T. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 19:53, 27 January 2011 (PST)
Gotta go with Freecell on this one...There is no way in hell this is Chris's facebook...though the going to the bar and bring his DS is something Chris has done before... --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:46, 27 January 2011 (PST)

*What about [http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000426003596 this one?] --[[User:Morbid Duck|Morbid Duck]] 18:43, 22 April 2011 (PDT)
# "This is my real facebook. I had to make a new one due to all these trolls HARASSING ME AND HACKING MY ACCOUNT"
# Uses an old picture everyone has
# "Proud too say I'm still a virgin :)" group
# Talking about Skyrim without a computer
Not Chris. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 07:17, 23 April 2011 (PDT)

*This just appeared on my "you might know this person" sidebar on Facebook. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 [[User:frozenblwf|Frozenblwf]]

*That one seems pretty legit, Frozenblwf. A pic no one has seen before and the profile is private (so obviously not trying to grab everyone's attention). Good find! --[[User:Elliebytes|Elliebytes]] 16:48, 5 July 2011 (PDT)

*Also, note he is wearing ear rings in both ears. Which means they are recent due to him getting his ears pierced. My money is on this being legit. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:07, 6 July 2011 (PDT)CFA

*Looks like the page has been deleted. [[User:Barachulove|Barachulove]] 03:53, 7 July 2011 (PDT)

*One of the Bobs on facebook is friends with this account, but I'm pretty sure it's not him because the photo is too old. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1801600742 [[User:LAG4U|LAG4U]] 03:15, 13 July 2011 (PDT)

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 will take you to Chris's facebook profile that uses his typical "chrischansonichu@aol.com" email address. This is a profile picture we've never seen (or at least I don't think we have)*NOTE: It says it was added THIS monday, the 23 of January 2012, so yes, he's still using facebook. It will need a screen cap added. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 08:42, 25 January 2012 (PST)
*There's also a note he's published about what he wants in a girl...it's pretty hilariously chris:
**Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT
-Caring, Sweet, Honest
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better
-NOT A Smoker
-Social Drinker or non-alcoholic
-Upfront
-No STDs
-Carefree/Light-Hearted
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy)
-Takative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs)
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches
-Brunette or Blonde hair
-B-Cup size minimum
-Clean
-Casual
-Not Crazy or Abusive
-Make-Up Optional
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
--[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 08:46, 25 January 2012 (PST)
: Doesn't look like Tineye or Google Reverse Image Search are turning up anything, either. Guess it is a new picture. I used to know how to pull someone's full profile picture, but I don't remember anymore. I'll see if I can find it. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 08:47, 25 January 2012 (PST)
::I was so intent on dicking around that I didn't realise that his full profile picture is readily available. Never mind. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 09:04, 25 January 2012 (PST)
: Oh my atheist god, he just doesn't get it. While the picture is arguably an improvement over the old ones, this list is... just... just... it has the Chris-essence condensed and distilled in it. It creeps me out. - [[User:LucidFox|LucidFox]] 09:05, 25 January 2012 (PST)

== Dead link ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://www.facebook.com/people/Christian_Weston_Chandler/579729310
** In [[Facebook]] on 2011-09-20 22:38:31, 404 Not Found
** In [[Facebook]] on 2011-09-28 08:04:22, 404 Not Found

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 01:04, 28 September 2011 (PDT)

== Closed/Privatized ==

I can no longer find his account under chrischansonichu@aol.com; he has either closed it or listed it to private. He had a 'facebook friend' named Kim Wilson who is still listed though. Should it be mentioned in the article that as of Valentines day Chris no longer had a visible facebook page? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 09:26, 15 February 2012 (PST)

==Recent leaks==

As stated previously by the February 2012 page, some screencaps of Chris Facebook wall have been leaked, can we put it on the article or is it too early (a risk of Chris seeing them and leave the internet)--
ADDENDUM : The file name are Chfb1.png to Chfb4.png (uploaded by a user named Westbound)
[[User:René Duprée|René Duprée]] 13:02, 17 February 2012 (PST)

I doubt anyone would mind you adding them as long as they don't make it on the update right away. [[User:Westbound|Westbound]] 08:53, 23 February 2012 (PST)

== Something Fishy ==

All of the recent posts on FB seem odd
The writing seems forced and the content seems to perfect.

Im wondering if this is the act of trolls. Especially the "going back to fashion square with my sign" posts. it just seems like the work of a troll or Chris trying to be a troll. In light of the severity of the court cases and the fact that christian was on a FB hiatus that was possibly due to his lawyers direction, i am in severe doubt as to the genuineness of the recent posts. I understand that came from the TRUE and HONEST CWC account but it just seems... fishy... [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 10:26, 27 April 2012 (PDT)
*Canine has confirmed it. Cogs has confirmed it. Anna is friends with the account, and we all know that Anna and the inner circle don't agree with each other. There is no reason to doubt that this account belongs to Chris. Also, Chris's writing has always seemed forced and anything new about him is always unbelievable at first.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 11:34, 27 April 2012 (PDT)
** I don't think slimz was doubting that the account was Chris's, I think slimz was insinuating that these accounts are "100%" Chris. (Either by hack or by assistance) --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 21:05, 27 April 2012 (PDT)
* Chris is probably trying to goad da trollz into a mall confrontation, complete with curse-ye-ha-me-has. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 11:44, 27 April 2012 (PDT)
**I'll admit I think it's all a bit odd but then who knows what is going through Chris's mind at this stage. He seems to be viewing himself as a master troll given the screencaps of the forums and what not. Who knows what he wants. --[[User:Gytrash|Gytrash]] 07:22, 29 April 2012 (PDT)

== "Hynamin"? ==

I believe Chris may be referring to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamie_Hyneman MythBuster Jamie Hyneman] in his most recent note. I have done a quick search of tour information and could not yield anything recent in Virgina. If someone higher on the totem pole could check into this, I think it'd be worth their while. --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 20:21, 1 May 2012 (PDT)

*That or he fails at spelling "hymen." [[User:BeefCurtains|BeefCurtains]] 20:47, 2 May 2012 (PDT)
** I bet this is it http://www.vtnews.vt.edu/articles/2012/04/042512-vbi-usasef.html an excerpt
"""The USA Science & Engineering Festival will also feature leading science celebrities like Bill Nye of "Bill Nye the Science Guy." Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage of the "MythBusters" will appear live during the finale expo. Also scheduled to appear are Jeff Lieberman from Discovery Channel’s series "Time Warp" and Apollo Robbins, who is known as the "gentleman thief," from National Geographic’s "Brain Games.""""
[[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 09:03, 3 May 2012 (PDT)

Ah. Okay. Thanks for clarifying. [[User:BeefCurtains|BeefCurtains]] 22:26, 9 May 2012 (PDT)

== Backpage ==
Backpage is a site like Craigslist that still allows escort advertising. We could probably browse the backpage site for his area and find someone that was/looked half Cherokee (olive skin, dark hair etc) and call them to get the story (if its at all true) virginia.backpage.com i cant do it from work but maybe later today ill look into it [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 04:01, 2 May 2012 (PDT)
* Umm... I see where you're going with this, but I'm pretty sure that there's nary a hooker alive that would name-drop their johns to a stranger. [[User:The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here|The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here]] 16:08, 7 May 2012 (PDT)

== Regarding the recent posts ==
Chris-chan seems mighty proud of the fact that he mislead us over a small piece of information, and he stated outright that there are more events that he may or may not be outright lying about. Does this mean we should take all his recent Facebook posts with a grain of salt? Including his claims that he got laid? [[User:The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here|The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here]] 12:09, 3 May 2012 (PDT)
:That's exactly the reason I was arguing that it shouldn't be written in as fact on Da Update. I personally believe that he's telling the truth about it, but stating that anything is fact just because "Chris said so" would be a great way to ruin the integrity of our articles. After the last edit war over this, I'm not going to start another (since I'm busy with exams and don't have time for it), but if you change it, I won't stop you. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 01:47, 4 May 2012 (PDT)
:*AGREED ! ! ! this could be an attempt by chris to change the facts about him online, to troll the trolls or to just create a fantasy world where he is no longer a virgin. It sounds legit but considdering there is a "friend" who "Brought them together" this could be a manipulation tactic by someone else. (a troll using chris to troll the trolls... thats priceless) [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 04:41, 4 May 2012 (PDT)

== Iphone ==

According to the "recent activity" on Chris's facebook...he now can access facebook through his Iphone...which means of course, he has an Iphone. Now does this information need to be posted anywhere in particular? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 00:08, 8 May 2012 (PDT)
:It could also mean he's using an iPod touch or iPad. That just means he's using the app --[[User:Cthuluology|Cthuluology]] 13:37, 9 May 2012 (PDT)
doubt it but i changed it to reflect that. [[User:Blaziken|Blaziken]] 17:32, 9 May 2012 (PDT)

== Cole's Response to Chris ==

I noticed that CWC's half brother Cole finally got fed up with his shit and decided to throw his two cents in. Here are the caps below.

<center><gallery>
Image:FBCole1.PNG
Image:FBCole2.PNG
</gallery></center>

[[User:CHN|CHN]] 16:17, 23 June 2012 (PDT)

*Looks like a fake Facebook account to me. [[User:Samboy|Samboy]] 16:27, 23 June 2012 (PDT)

The High School Story

2012-06-23T23:04:10Z

Samboy: /* Summary */

"'''The High School Story'''" is a piece of alternate reality fiction [[Chris]] authored on the [[CWCipedia]] as part of his backstory for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

[[Image:carrie.jpg|thumb| Terrah LeAnne Yowman: ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL!]]
==Summary==
In it, Chris creates another [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]] persona, Terrah LeAnne Yowman (one [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|gender-flipped Mary Sue]] wasn't enough for Chris), a high-functioning [[autism|autistic]] young lady with psychic powers. She is accused of being a [[homos|lesbian]] even though she is STRAIGHT, and all because she has more guy friends than [[gal-pals]]. Anybody calling her out on this is beaten the hell out of by a nearby homophobe. With little transition beyond establishing a [[Gal-pal|guy-pal]] with a suspiciously feminine name, Chris retells the story of his [[Manchester High School#Seinor Prom|"seinor prom"]] inexplicably fused with [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his graduation]].

Like in the real life high school graduation, Terrah is snubbed for awards despite the [[Honor_roll#Chris's award winning art work|awesomeness]] of [[Chris and art|her artwork]]. The reasonable thing for her to do is throw a hissy fit about it while exploding the high school, killing everyone there. A pity that her guy-friend was going to propose to her after the promduation. Now she must wander the halls eternally drawing a hideous, mutant abomination 'pon the empty walls and kill time until [[Mary Lee Walsh]] ghostbusts her ass. How there even ''are'' halls for her to haunt is a bit of a mystery, since she annihilates the entire fucking building with her [[Chris and Anger|hissy fit]]. In other words, bratty disproportionate retribution at its finest, or typical tard rage.

{{quote|PRAISE MY CREATIVITY!|Terrah LeAnne Yowman, AND NOT CHRIS AT HIS GRADUATION}}

Chris, as always, fails to understand differences in gender relations and perception in society, as while a man who hangs out with a lot of women as strictly friends will get called gay, a woman who hangs out with a lot of guys is more likely to be called a "[[Wikipedia:Cock tease|tease]]" or a [[Wikipedia:Tomboy|tomboy]]. The only reasonable interaction in the story — a boy proposing to a girl on prom night, which is a melodramatic cliché but still happens in real life once in a while — is soured when one realizes "Tippansten" is meant to be a [[Tiffany Gowen|girl Chris knew from high school]], which means he also still wants a [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|heroine fresh from the shop]] to rescue him from a world that doesn't appreciate his "[[art]]."

Perhaps this desire to be rescued is what prompted him to try out the gender-flip itself, as well: in heterosexual romantic relationships, it's generally the guy who is expected to initiate things by asking the girl out. Chris, however, given his [[noviophobia]], the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]], and having never had to work for anything in his life, would prefer to take the passive role. Therefore, he creates a female alter ego, for whom this passivity will hopefully be seen as more societally acceptable. Sadly, Terrah fails just as badly as Chris did and dies a [[virgin with rage]].

This story also confirms that Chris absolutely can't name for shit. (Seriously, [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]]? And now ''Tippansten''? ''Yowman''? (Although Yowman could be a misspelling of 'Yeoman'.) And a raccoon cheerleader named Francine ''StripeCheer?'')

Interestingly, Francine StripeCheer is an analogue to [[Bionic]], rather than [[Sonichu]]. Notice how Bionic the basketball-playing hedgehog was turned into a cheerleading raccoon, as Chris is [[Women's Rights|far too sexist]] to have a girl actually playing a sport.

You may be wondering if Chris [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripped this off]] from Stephen King's [[1974]] novel ''[[Wikipedia:Carrie (novel)|Carrie]]'', or the [[1976]] film ''[[Wikipedia:Carrie (film)|Carrie]]''. It has been suggested that Chris is too sheltered to have read the novel; however, it is likely that Chris has seen the movie adaptation of it. By no coincidence, the movie ''Carrie'' appeared in Chris's [[Netflix]] queue before he wrote this story. Considering how Chris can equate the death of [[Patti|his dog]] to the death of [[Ryan Cash|a human being]], it's easy to think he would consider not getting his stupid little awards exactly as bad (if not worse) than having pig's blood dumped on him.

==Text==
{{Quotebox|The High School used to be the respectable school, known as [[Manchester High School|Menchi-Nasu High]]. It was left behind and abandoned, because of lack of funds for that one school. Then the students left, and the "students" bummed around. There was an accident that happened at a [[Manchester_High_School#Seinor_Prom|Seinor Prom]] in [[1999]]; a [[autism|High-Functioning Autistic]] individual with Psychic Powers, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Terrah LeAnne Yowman]], roamed the halls with growing social outreachings; she had a number of good guy-pals, and a few [[gal-pals]]. She was constantly ridiculed with being labeled a [[homos|Lesbian]], because she hung out with MORE DUDES Mutually.

She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully [[The Creepy Stare|an intimidating glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight Homophobe would attack that bully with No Mercy; beat the crap out of that person.

Come her Seinor Prom in 1999, she asked her Best Guy-Pal, [[Tiffany Gowen|Tippanston Gowen]], to the Prom. And even though she felt nervous at first, he asked her to dance. She replied, "I have two left-feet." Still, he took her hand, and danced the night with her. She was most happy and in peace. Then after the last dance, he kissed her long and good. If she was still alive today, she would have been [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|anxiously waiting for the 2009 Reunion]] to return the favor of Gowen offering the Strong Autistic individual the best night of their life at the Prom.

Now, Terrah was a [[lie|Great]] Artist, as she was well-known and well-praised in the number of Art Classes she took at Menchi-Nasu High.

Following the last dance, they had the [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|Seinor Awards Ceremony]]; ALL the students stayed until the FINAL END of that night. Terrah got a Star-Pin for her Good Grades; that was the ONLY AWARD she would receive that night. She anxously awaited Awards for her Inspiring, Creative Artwork she had Hand-Painted, Carved, Molded, Drawn and all Media Taught to her, yet she received NO AWARDS FOR HER CREATIVITY. She felt distraught even when called out the passing of the ART AWARDS; Her Name was NOT SAID at all.

Only Few Left early enough to tell the tale, but AFTER the final award was passed, and during the FINAL DANCE, she was beside herself; feeling alone. In her Furious Rage in not being appreciated Creatively EVEN ONCE, she concentrated ALL HER PSYCHIC POWERS, SHOUTED "PRAISE MY CREATIVITY!", then a NOVA FLASH beamed from the Prom location, seen from as far as a Hundred Miles away. All that remained was Total Silence, Terrah's gown and Star Pin, and just nearby the gown, Tippanston's Dress Jacket, with a Wedding Ring in a box, and engraved in it, "To Terrah, My Sweetest, Most Creative Woman Ever. I Love You." Tippanston wanted to wait till he had brought her back home to propose, but sadly, he died with her that night.

Since then, Terrah haunted the halls of Menchi-Nasu High, drawing the Cheerleader Raccoon Character, [[Bionic|Francine StripeCheer]], she had created from her freshman year as Varsity Cheerleader Manager. }}

==Fan comic==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:F1p11.jpg
Image:F1p12.jpg
Image:F1p13.jpg
Image:F1p14.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of The High School Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R88HlvfLXB4}}
| stardate = 28 [[January 2010]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| subject =
| type =
| info = Apologies to Howard Shore.
}}

==See also==
*[[Things Chris has ripped off]]

{{Writings}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:High School Story}}
[[Category:Prose]]

Talk:June 2012

2012-06-21T12:04:26Z

Samboy: /* Korean poisoning? */

== Needs more links ==

Can we have a link to Mr. Johnson's refutation?--[[User:Germanicus|Germanicus]] 20:24, 20 June 2012 (PDT)

== Korean poisoning? ==

Chris's claim of Koreans trying to poison him are on his FB, in his Cwcki Forum Screencaps.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=281096581984828&set=a.281096251984861.65401.100002534669114&type=3&theater

Viewable by the general public, so if the link above doesn't work it's easily findable. Even funnier when you realise how badly Chris misinterpreted the text he was reading.
*But why is there an update about Chris saying this on 14 June? That's what I'm asking about. Has he made another reference to it?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:52, 21 June 2012 (PDT)

Not to my knowledge. - [[User:Kosmosis|Kosmosis]]

*Looks like it should go in the April 2012 section then. I'll get rid. [[User:Samboy|Samboy]] 04:27, 21 June 2012 (PDT)
*Moved it to April but am new to wiki editing and can't manage to link to the image properly. Can someone fix it? [[User:Samboy|Samboy]] 05:04, 21 June 2012 (PDT)

April 2012

2012-06-21T12:02:42Z

Samboy: /* Events */ Removing my fuck up.

'''April [[2012]]''' has seen more fallout from the [[28 October 2011]] incident, as well as some activity from Chris' Facebook page, but on a brighter note it appears Chris is no longer a [[virgin with rage]].

==Events==
*1 April - Chris writes [[Facebook#An Open Note|An Open Note]] on [[Facebook]].
*3 April - Chris changes his PSN status to "I am Christian" and buys more Vita games.
*5 April - Chris and Barb have another hearing at 1:00 p.m. Trespassing and assault are dismissed, Grand Jury to decide felony hit and run. [[Michael_Snyder|Michael Snyder's]] protection order was granted against both Chris and Barb, potentially equating to [[Chris_and_the_Law|jail time]] if either of them trespass again.
*8 April - A leaked [[Facebook]] status update reveals that Chris claims to have lost his virginity on a recent Sunday.
*12 April - Chris deletes his viriginity-loss claim.
*14 April - Chris deletes the Facebook Note confirming that he had lost his virginity.
*16 April - After a two year absence, Chris returns to [[Twitter]] to wish death upon Michael Snyder and also deletes all his followers.
*16 April - Chris and Barbara appeared before a grand jury at 9:30 a.m.Chris and Barbara are then indicted on felony charges from the 28th October Incident and will be arraigned on July 10th.
*25 April - Following an 11-day absence, Chris posts on [[Facebook]] about [[My Little Pony|Derpy Hooves]].
*26 April - Chris posts on Facebook saying that he aims to return to use of an [[Attraction Sign]] at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] on Saturday 28.SPOILER :He didn't show up and stayed at home instead.
*28 April - Chris posts a note on Facebook claiming "victory" against the trolls and claims that his plans of using the attraction sign again were false.
*29 April - Chris accuses suspected Korean trolls of bringing him poisoned food.
*30 April - Chris posts on Facebook saying that the [[JenkinsJinkies]] camp gay experience story wasn't real. PUNK'D!!!
*30 April - Chris changes his [[voicemail greeting]].
{{Timeline}}

April 2012

2012-06-21T12:01:42Z

Samboy: /* Events */ Moved Chris' comment about Korean food etc to its correct month.

'''April [[2012]]''' has seen more fallout from the [[28 October 2011]] incident, as well as some activity from Chris' Facebook page, but on a brighter note it appears Chris is no longer a [[virgin with rage]].

==Events==
*1 April - Chris writes [[Facebook#An Open Note|An Open Note]] on [[Facebook]].
*3 April - Chris changes his PSN status to "I am Christian" and buys more Vita games.
*5 April - Chris and Barb have another hearing at 1:00 p.m. Trespassing and assault are dismissed, Grand Jury to decide felony hit and run. [[Michael_Snyder|Michael Snyder's]] protection order was granted against both Chris and Barb, potentially equating to [[Chris_and_the_Law|jail time]] if either of them trespass again.
*8 April - A leaked [[Facebook]] status update reveals that Chris claims to have lost his virginity on a recent Sunday.
*12 April - Chris deletes his viriginity-loss claim.
*14 April - Chris deletes the Facebook Note confirming that he had lost his virginity.
*16 April - After a two year absence, Chris returns to [[Twitter]] to wish death upon Michael Snyder and also deletes all his followers.
*16 April - Chris and Barbara appeared before a grand jury at 9:30 a.m.Chris and Barbara are then indicted on felony charges from the 28th October Incident and will be arraigned on July 10th.
*25 April - Following an 11-day absence, Chris posts on [[Facebook]] about [[My Little Pony|Derpy Hooves]].
*26 April - Chris posts on Facebook saying that he aims to return to use of an [[Attraction Sign]] at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] on Saturday 28.SPOILER :He didn't show up and stayed at home instead.
*28 April - Chris posts a note on Facebook claiming "victory" against the trolls and claims that his plans of using the attraction sign again were false.
*29 April - Chris accuses suspected Korean trolls of [[File:Koreans.PNG|bringing him poisoned food]].
*30 April - Chris posts on Facebook saying that the [[JenkinsJinkies]] camp gay experience story wasn't real. PUNK'D!!!
*30 April - Chris changes his [[voicemail greeting]].
{{Timeline}}

June 2012

2012-06-21T11:28:21Z

Samboy: /* Events */

'''June [[2012]]''' started off with Chris' return to [[Facebook]], though it was far from triumphant as Chris confirms that, [[Naive|once again,]] he was duped by the trolls, deflating his ''([[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|borderline]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|insane]])'' [[Ego|ego trip]] that started in April. Amazingly, Chris actually upheld his promise to collect donations for cancer via [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]], though it's unknown if he'll actually send the money or keep it like the greedy little grubber that he is.

==Events==
*4 June - Chris posts in Facebook, claiming that there was no poster campaign in [[Charlottesville]].
*8-10 June - Chris pledged to sell lemonade and collect money for kids with cancer on these dates, as part of [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]].
*12 June - Chris change his [[voicemail greeting]].

{{Timeline}}

Talk:June 2012

2012-06-21T11:27:56Z

Samboy: /* Korean poisoning? */

March 2012

2012-06-20T19:37:54Z

Samboy: /* Events */ Changed from 'demanding that people download his custom stuff' to 'requesting that...' because he said please in his forum post.

[[File:Chris cart.png|thumb|Chris in March 2012]]
'''March 2012''' is the third month of [[2012]]. Little occurred in the month; Chris spent the majority of this month playing his newly-acquired [[PlayStation Vita]].

==Events==
*18 March - Chris posts in the ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' forums, calling himself "internet famous" and requesting that people download his custom stuff for the Vita.
*20 March - Chris posts a new photo in the ''MNR'' forums.
*28 March - Chris posts another message in the ''MNR'' forums asking people to download his custom stuff.
*31 March - Chris publishes 2 open notes on his [[Facebook]] account where he complains about the trolls.Also, as revealed in a recent Facebook post, Chris was banned from [[Fashion Square Mall]] for shouting death threats to trolls with his phone.
{{Timeline}}

PS3 Tutorial for my fans

2012-06-19T10:06:54Z

Samboy: /* Transcript */

'''PS3 Tutorial for my fans''' is the second video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 24 [[February 2010]]. In the classic tradition of videos like [[Sonichu Powerpoint]], Chris goes aimlessly on and on trying to explain something complicated beyond his comprehension, this time to his [[Magical Man|mystery birthday guest]].

While most people who enjoy video games would invite guests they have over to multiplayer games (such as ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''), Chris demonstrates his [[Autism|skills as a host]] by having his guest sit there with the camera, filming the screen as Chris babbles about menus. The mysterious manchild manager obviously has the patience of a saint, feigning polite interest in everything Chris shows him. He does, however, take the opportunity to film a few of the more curious items adorning Chris's walls.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = PS3 Tutorial for my fans
| video = {{#ev:youtube|PgwIXjiKCzU}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2010]]
| subject = {{Video games|[[PS3]]}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| previous = [[Magical Man Potion]]
| next = [[02 March 2010]]}}

{{quote|About me: I am Chris Chan}}

=== Transcript ===

'''Chris:''' [''fragmented sentence''] ...''[[South Park]]'' theme.

'''Guest:''' Ha-ha!

'''Chris:''' It makes little..[''begins flicking back and forth on the [[PS3]]''] noises when you, between it. [[Speech Impediment|Ess]]. Circle. [[''PS3 squawks in response to Chris's fumbling'']]

'''Guest:''' Oh, that's cool.

'''Chris:''' Oh, wait a minute. [''unintelligible'']...triangle.

'''Guest:''' That's really [[Yellow Is a Mellow Color|yellow]]. [''chuckle''] How do ya sign into the-the [[PlayStation Network]]?

'''Chris:''' [''still flicking around''] Well first of all yo make sure your system- er, your console is up to date with version 3.15 which ah, you find that out after you ah, log in- you get on the- you get your PlayStation 3 internet capable. [''Our mystery guest injects with "right"'']

'''Guest:''' [''interrupting blathering''] That's like an automatic update?

'''Chris:''' [''trying to talk over the guy for a bit''] Yeah, then you go to System Update here, and you update via internet. Course, y'know it'll give you different than that. [''addressing the extremely blurry screen'']

'''Guest:''' Mm-hm.

'''Chris:''' And it'll tell you that you need to update it. Anyway once you got that you can definitely sign in; in that case you'll want to make yourself a new account. And, uh, I mean obviously I got mine in there [''Our incognito imbroglio makes more affirmative noises''] But-but still to sign in you'll have to have- to make a new Play-PlayStation Network account.

'''Guest:''' [''odd tone''] Okay.

'''Chris:''' And uh, that wheres it'll take you to the process of putting in your [[14 Branchland Court|address]], phone number, and name-

'''Guest:''' And it'll just walk you through it?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Guest:''' Okay-

'''Chris:''' Anyway when you go to sign in [''demonstrating poorly''], I recommend you [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|not to save the password, but write in down.]]

'''Guest:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' But- you can- And then you can memorize it, I definitely got mine memorized. [''more goddamn squawking from the machine''] I use the wireless keypad.

'''Guest:''' [''after an awkward beat''] Oh snap, there's a keypad on those things!

'''Chris:''' [''[[Autism|demonstrating able conversational skills]]''] Yeah.

'''Guest:''' That is wild- I didn't know-

'''Chris:''' It's attached-

'''Guest:''' Oh, okay; I was like [''slight falsetto''] "I don't remember those".

'''Chris:''' [[Chris and money|It was worth it, I think it was like 20 bucks.]] Anyway then you can asess, uh, all your, uh all your- your own profile and everybody elses [''zoom in on Sonichu, Chris's PSN'']. And then of course with your trophy- because you can definitely sink the trophies you earn into games and let you know what level your at- I'm at level 12, got 739 trophies.

'''Guest:''' [[List of Chris's games|Good lord.]]

'''Chris:''' Then of course you put in side your personal- My online ID is [[Sonichu]]-

'''Guest:''' [''laughs and adopts an officious tone''] "About me: I am Chris Chan" Heh, I like that.

'''Chris:''' [[Chris and his ego|Yeah, that works.]] Oh, and uh, also on this part here you can change the backi- you can change the color. [''demonstrates once more'']

'''Guest:''' Oh, that's cool.

'''Chris:''' That's from one of the curr- the recent updates. And of course you can start a new chat with the [[PSEye|PlayStation eye with the microphone in there]] or just chat [[Mumble|audio only]] with a headset.

'''Guest:''' Mkay.

'''Chris:''' [''more fucking moving around''] Add friend, block list there. And of course, Account Management, here, you go in there and put in and remove your credit or debit card information. I mean yeah, I put it in then added the amount I want and I delete it. And then of course [''scrolls down''] you can change your email address, uh password, all that good stuff.

'''Guest:''' That's cool

'''Chris:''' [''talking over yet again''] And the avatars are are fun, y'know, you get a lot choose from. I bought all the ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ones; I had to [[Monthly Tugboat|purchase]] all of those ones. I mean, it was feature thing but I still [[Chris and remorse|kick myself today]] for getting all the ''LittleBigPlanet'' avatars. [''Guest laughs softly''] But yeah you still get a lot to choose from-

'''Guest:''' Is that...George Clooney? [''Chris hunts around a bit''] Up one. That looks so much like George Clooney.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I don't think so. I think- maybe that's the guy from Wanted?

'''Guest:''' That might be it.

'''Chris:''' [''yawn-tastic scrolling''] Then we got [[Eye of Judgement]] characters. Of course all the ones you get under ''LittleBigPlanet'' are the ones you get right off the bat.

'''Guest:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' ''Ratchet and Clank'', ''Uncharted'', ''Killzone'', [''slight unison with guest''] Kratos, yeah. Whole buncha- whole bunch of good ones- does are [''indicates some avatars''] those are, Calling All Cars- its a downloadable game.

'''Guest:''' Boy, you got a ton of 'em.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you get all these right off the bat. But if you want the more current avatars they're coming out with you have to pay- you have to pay for them. Then you can also, you know, redeem codes, like uh, you know, for a promotions, just punch in the four digits at a time from the box and you take it. And then you can got to your transaction management. Like you know, that's where you gotta go from here [''displays avatar menu icon''] from your credit-debit card, to transfer here, to the wallet. And I would definl- make it have to require password to checkout.

'''Guest:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' -In case somebody does come in. Then you can look at your transaction history, you can look as far back, as uh, when I got this thing, which was back in uh, St Patrick's day.

'''Guest:''' Oh, that's cool.

[''Screen displays a [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|list]] of [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|purchases]].'']

'''Chris:''' So that's pretty much the origin point, you know, first time I downloaded off PlayStation Network was, you know, a few demos off of...

'''Guest:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Few demos.

'''Guest:''' That's cool.

'''Chris:''' And yeah, like I said you can add lots more than that. And then you get your list of downloads, between the uh, video and game section. Oh, and also, you know, the current update. [''Screen scrolls to a [[Facebook]] icon.''] You can adjust the settings so- adjust the setting and features in Facebook, to make uh, your trophies visible to everybody else. Of course, you have to activate your- activate your system between this- between your PS3 or [[PSP]]...

'''Guest:''' Mmm-hmmm.

'''Chris:''' To make it able to play the games and videos you download respectively. And of course on the PSP, you gotta do game, and video and comics, because only the PSP does the digital comics.

'''Guest:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' You can only download them basically through the PSP.

'''Guest:''' Oh yeah.

'''Chris:''' Only on the PSP. With the PlayStation-

'''Guest:''' I had- I had a friend who had the PSP, he had the ''Star Trek'' comic, the prequel to the new ''Star Trek'' movie.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I-

'''Guest:''' He had that one.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, Yeah- of course you know, you could definitely sample in the free ones. [''PlayStation Store come up onscreen''] And then you go to the PlayStation Store. And this- and by default it takes you to the games section. You can check out the new releases. They come out with new PlayStation One classics every once in awhile there every moth. Course all demos are free, selected add-ons you have to pay for them, but yet some add-ons are free. And yeah that's where you can- Oh! They added more avatars now.

'''Guest:''' Oh, cool.

'''Chris:''' For Mag. Huh. For 59 cents ea- 49 cents for the Mag ones.

'''Guest:''' That's not too bad.

'''Chris:''' Although here for ''LittleBigPlanet'', yeah. That was pretty much the same thing but I got them in uh, I got the ''LittleBigPlanet'' ones in the bundles, which uh, you know, was less expensive than getting them individually. Then of course you get your games here. You can view em all by title, so you can make sure you don't- you don't miss out on every single freebie...

'''Guest:''' Uh huh.

'''Chris:''' ...between demos and add-ons. And of course, they have uh ones that are for PSP as well.

'''Guest:''' I'm getting cold. I just got back from the Yoga, so my body's all warmed up...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Guest:''' It's cooling off now.

'''Chris:''' And of course you can download uh, themes and avatars uh, from you know just basic themes where the background is not in motion, or the premium themes which uh, actually you have to pay for.

[''As Chris drones on, the guest/cameraman takes the camera off the screen and starts panning around Chris's walls. Clear shots of the [[The Simpsons|Marge Simpson]] playboy centerfold, Chris's [[Copyright]], [[the Wall of Originals]] and a variety of Sonichu drawings.'']

'''Guest:''' Mmm-hmm.

'''Chris:''' Heh. Check it out you can get the "Babealishous" themes.

[''Camera returns to the screen, now showing a bunch of swimsuit model avatars'']

'''Guest:''' Oh cool. Oh Oh! Second row in the middle, down one. Oh it's Dita Von Teese, for some reason I thought it was Betty Page for a second.

'''Chris:''' They're organized alphabetically. I don't see bet- I don't see Betty Page. Of course you can preview these as well, even in full screen.

[''Screen is overtaken by a photo of a swimsuit model'']

'''Guest:''' Oh, that's cool.

[''Screen switches between two photos of a hot chick a few times'']

'''Guest:''' I like that one!

'''Chris:''' Heh heh. Yeah. And then of course you got the dynamic themes, where most of the time you do have to pay for those.

'''Guest:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' Of course you can check them out in preview mode as well.

[''Screen is overtaken by a CGI render of dude in a [[Muscle bra|muscle shirt]].'']

'''Chris:''' Some of them animated, some of them just in still.

'''Guest:''' [''Laughs'']

'''Chris:''' That's for ''Pain''. It's a fun game.

'''Guest:''' I like that one. What's uh, what is ''Pain'' about?

'''Chris:''' Oh. that's a fun- that's a fun game uh- look that up here.

[''Screen changes to description for Pain'']

'''Chris:''' Here you go. It's the funnest game in town. [''Chris begins reading the description aloud enthusiastically as if doing an advertisement''] "Load character into a supersized ultra-powerful slingshot, and lauch then into an active, physics-controlled environment filled with precarious and humorous situations. Score points by stringing together painful collisions and unleashing chaos on the downdown environment. Join the Pain online community to keep up with Pain's ever growing gameplay. Compete with uh- compete with others worldwide on the global leaderboards. [''It should be noted that Chris pronounced leaderboards "lawerboards".''] See you in Pain!" And the features include crash course, uh, this is for the basic one right here.

'''Guest:''' [''uninterested''] Mmm-hmm.

'''Chris:''' This crash course tutorial, detailed downtown, pain for your character in difficult situations, single player, paindimonium, aftermath, mime toss, and [[Mass Debating|spank the monkey]]. Three multiplayer modes, show off your skills to earn over 50 trophies, and learn how to lock new game features in the trophy room.

[''Video abruptly ends'']

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{{Game Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, February 2010| 2010-02-24]]