CWCki - User contributions [en]

Fiona Cooper

2023-09-14T01:16:47Z

Sandubadear: /* Interactions with Bella */

{{incomplete|[[The Lainchu Manifesto]]}}
{{Honest}}
{{Unreliable|type=misinfo|is being}}
{{Unreliable|type=sock}}

{{quote|I know he's an absolute bigoted idiot. But he's one I want to protect and take care of in a weird way. I empathize with him when he blabs on and on about his special interests, knowing that I used to be an obsessive Pokemon fangirl as a kid, similar to how he is with Sonic(hu).
I see him as human, albeit a highly broken one.|The Suitress's opinion on Chris before the incest leaks<ref>https://archive.md/cV5W0</ref>}}

{{Quote|This legit sucks now. I regret everything about ever writing this. I never knew Chris was going to turn out this way back then.
I'm absolutely pissed and disgusted at him now. I'm fucking traumatized. Help me.|The Suitress's opinion of Chris after the [[incest call]] leaks.<ref name = regret>[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SuitressRegret.png Source:vigyaa]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| name = Fiona
| image = Fifi photo.jpg
| title = The Suitress
| race = White
| nationality = [[United States|American]]<ref name=personal/>
| aliases = The Suitress<br>The Everfree Suitress<br>Fifi Vixenhart<br>Fifi<ref group = note>Chris refered to the Suitress as this in a jail letter.</ref><br>Snoo<ref group = "note">Several of the account names listed belonged to throwaway accounts which the Suitress had created, but has since abandoned.</ref><br>ScootalooSister<br>Scootaloo<ref>[[Incest Leak Interview]]</ref><br>[[User:Chris Chan's Chris Fan|Chris Chan's Chris Fan]]
| gender = Female
| occupation = Artist<br>Moderator of Chris Chan subreddit (formerly)
| saga = {{saga|jacob|cn}}, {{saga|watchmen|cn}}, {{saga|incest|cn}}
| knownfor = *Being hyperfixated on Chris to the point of having a genuine crush on him<br>*Wanting to have sex with Chris, even after discovering that he was in an affair with his mother<br>*Being hired by Chris to protect him from Jacob Sockness at Everfree Northwest<br>*Initiating leaks of the incest call.
}}

'''Fiona''' is a young [[autism|autistic]]<ref name=personal>[[Suitress DMs#Dating Advice]]</ref> woman, 18-19 years old at the time, who hyperfixated on Chris to the point of developing a sort of genuine, self-admitted crush for Chris.<ref name="SuitressExplanation">{{Cite web|url=https://vigyaa.io/i-have-a-full-blown-crush-on-cwc-and-i-feel-absolutely-insane-efd87f28|archive=https://archive.ph/cV5W0|title=I have a full-blown crush on CWC and I feel absolutely insane|url-status=dead|website=vigyaa}}</ref> During the start of the [[Incest Saga]], she was also referred to by the alias '''"The Suitress"''' by some in order to protect her identity, despite it being public knowledge.

She began contact with Chris via text sometime after discovering his phone number on Reddit,{{cite}} and was interacting with him [[Fiona DMs|via text]] and [[Fiona Facetime Videos|live video]] in secret. She had also been set to meet with Chris during the August 2021 [[Everfree Northwest]] convention. Prior to all of this, Fiona was an active and well-known member of the CWCsphere, producing loads of fanart regarding Chris, even temporarily moderating a sub-reddit dedicated to him.

On 19 July 2021, Chris invited both Fiona and [[Bella]] into [[The Knights of CWC]] server. Bella introduced herself to Fiona and the two befriended each other. Later, in the [[Chess club]] server, Bella showed instances of having a crush on Fiona.<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Bella Thirst]]</ref> When Bella told Fiona about Chris's [[Affair with Mother|affair with his mother]] and shared the [[Incest Call]] and [[Incest Texts]], Fiona then shared it with the [[Chris Chan Conservation Collective]] server. When server members doubted the authenticity of the original leak, she posted Bella's voice without her permission<ref name=pissedbella>[[Incest fallout chat leaks#Bella discusses incest news leak]]</ref>. After Chris Chan Conservation Collective member EllDudeRocks leaked the Incest Call to the general public, Fiona leaked the Incest Texts to Reddit, despite Bella having told her not to post them yet.<ref>[[Bella and Suitress chats#Coordinating response to Chris]]</ref> Bella attempted to frame Fiona as being the voice in the call in her frantic attempts to avoid being doxed.

Even after the incest revelation, despite her initial shock and wanting Chris to get arrested, Fiona still expressed interest in having sex with Chris, stating that she hoped doing so might sway him away from his mother.<ref>[[Bella and Suitress chats#Discussion of Incest Call]]</ref><ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Quit Her]]</ref> However, she soon after distanced herself from Chris. Chris has mentioned a desire to get back in contact with her in jail letters.

==Discovery of Chris==
[[File:SuitressCrush.jpg|thumb|left|200px|An old tablet drawing the Suitress posted on a now deleted Reddit account.]]
{{quote|I see him as human, albeit a highly broken one.|The Suitress's thoughts on Chris after "feeling" for him.<ref name=SuitressExplanation/>}}

In order to understand her voluntary interactions with Chris, and some of the events that came with it — as perplexing and hard to understand as they are — the Suitress's discovery of Chris and her initial feelings towards him must be discussed first.

Previously living a rather normal life, the Suitress discovered Chris sometime during the start of the [[COVID-19]] pandemic,<ref>{{Cite Reddit|post=n9pb97|subreddit=ChrisChanSonichu|archive=https://teddit.ggc-project.de/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/n9pb97/thank_you_chris/|username=[deleted] (the Suitress)|title=Thank you, Chris}}</ref> out of boredom. She soon saw him as a means of coping with the hardships of quarantine, taking pity on him and reveling in the ways she was "not Chris". This proved itself to be a vicious cycle that led to some of the events that occurred afterwards. Before finding out that Chris was having sex with his mother, the Suitress seemed to have have complicated feelings towards Chris's character, seeing him as a broken person with needs she could fulfill herself; part of the reason for her crush, which stemmed from the aforementioned pity for him; whilst also finding him deplorable.

According to the Suitress, she first became aware of Chris through the YouTuber, Deadwing Dork, who mentioned Chris time and time again. She claimed that she began researching him out of curiosity, first feeling disgusted by him, a feeling that persisted and conflicted with the crush she later developed. The Suitress later formed a more serious interest in Christory in the July of 2020, watching [[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History|Geno's documentary series]] with a friend, '''Physical-Floor''', and reading articles from this wiki extensively. The Suitress also claimed that she started having "feelings" towards Chris on the September of that year, which later started evolving into a full-on crush when she listened to the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|audio regarding Chris's date with Emily]] in November.<ref name="SuitressExplanation"/>

{{clear}}

==Activity in Chris-related circles==
{{Incomplete|Activity in Jacob Sockness's server|Involvement in Watchmen servers}}

The Suitress was a very active member in the CWCSphere, making [[The Suitress#Chris-related|fan art]] and cosplays, and posting regularly on Discords and the sub-reddit dedicated to him, along with temporarily moderating said subreddit starting on January 2021.<ref name="SuitressExplanation"/> During this time, the Suitress got along well with much of the CWCSphere, developing a large network of online friends by befriending many other members of the CWCsphere, passive observers, white-knights, A-logs, weens, and would-be trolls alike. Not all of the attention she received was positive, however. Much like how Chris’s bizarre behavior attracted trolls, a small following formed around the Suitress in an attempt to turn her into a lolcow.<ref name = suitressassociates>[[User:Anaxis/The Lainchu Manifesto#The Suitress and Associates]]</ref>

The Suitress’s behavior, including her attempts at making contact with Chris despite having been warned numerous times not to do so, led to her receiving numerous warnings from moderators of the [[Official CWCki Server]]. This culminated in her being banned from the server. Though evading this ban with a new account and returning a month later, the Suitress was soon removed from the server a second time.<ref name=suitressassociates/>

Despite previously coming into conflict with the Watchmen when they had attempted to face-dox her,<ref name=suitressassociates/> the Suitress was an "untrusted guest" in [[The Knights of CWC]] server.

==Interactions with Chris==
{{See also|Suitress DMs|Suitress Facetime Videos}}
[[File:Suitress-CWC DMs6.png|thumb|Chris giving dating advice to the Suitress]]
The Suitress first attempted to start talking to Chris in 2020. She began communication with him by sending a drawing of [[Nightstar]] to his phone number, though she initially received no response. Her fascination with Chris led her to beg him to reply in the chat of one of Chris’s YouTube live streams, even before her self-admitted crush had developed.<ref>[[:File:Snoowarning1.png]]</ref>

By 16 July 2021, she and Chris were on speaking terms. She used the pseudonym '''Fifi Vixenhart''' and also shared other pieces of her personal information with him. Chris did not initially seem to be reciprocating feelings for the Suitress, finding that "there would be a major bad impression on lack of empathy and consideration coming from [the Suitress’s] end."<ref name=personal/> However, Chris later recorded an audio file promising not to get upset in front of her at the [[Everfree Northwest]] convention over the [[My Little Pony Protests|MLP G5]] cartoon, and said he loved her.<ref name=promise>[[Animated Everfree Message]]</ref>

On 19 July 2021, Chris invited her into the [[Knights of CWC]] Discord server hosted by [[The WCT]], where Chris introduced her to [[Bella]].<ref>[[WCT DMs#Invitation|A DM between Chris and The WCT where they talk about inviting the Suitress.]]</ref> The Suitress began to converse with Bella at that point, seemingly unaware Bella wished to date her at Everfree Northwest. Chris also discussed his open-relationship with the Suitress with the WCT, sharing both her screen name and photograph in a text despite her asking him not to.

From what is known about the interactions between Chris and the Suitress (and some that Chris had with Bella), Chris appeared to stress the importance of "encouraging her" and "boosting her self-confidence" to find a long-term sweetheart at her college, believing himself to be some sort of mentor for her. At various points, Chris mentioned being in an "open-relationship" with the Suitress and his "Lady Friend" ([[Barb]])<ref>[[Bella Chats#The Selected Few]]</ref><ref>[[Incest Call]]</ref>. Chris had seemingly developed a sort of infatuation with the Suitress himself. Chris stated in a text that having sex with the Suitress would be the right step for her to take for her "mental and emotional development".<ref>[[Bella Chats#Sex with the Suitress]]</ref> Despite this, he had stronger feelings for Bella and already had sex with Barb by this point, indicating that the boundaries of his Love Quest had been widening, even before his incest with Barb was discovered.

The Suitress was also set to meet Chris at the convention [[Everfree Northwest]].

==Interactions with Bella==
{{see also|Post-incest leak drama}}
The earliest known interaction between Bella and the Suitress occurred on 19 July 2021. After being invited to the [[Knights of CWC]] server run by [[The WCT]], Bella invited him, the Suitress, and Chris to her [[Chess Group 15]] Discord.<ref>[[Chess Group 15 Chats#Suitress enters chess group #15]]</ref> There the Suitress, under the name "'''ScootalooSister'''", didn't seem to have done anything particularly noteworthy beyond playing games of chess and conversing with Bella about their plans with Everfree Northwest.

According to Bella, the Suitress had told her in private messages about the details of her attraction towards Chris, begging Chris to get with her, and Bella claiming the Suitress to be "possessive" of Chris. Bella had also stated on a few ocasions to consider the Suitress to be her "best friend".<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#On the Suitress]]</ref> Bella was also attracted to Fiona and wanted to steal her from Chris.<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#More Bella Thirst]]</ref>

==The Incest Scandal==
{{See also|CCCC Incest Call Leak}}
{{quote|Well...I unleashed a moment in Christory for y'all
I don't know how I feel|The Suitress expressing uncertainty at revealing Chris's incestuous relationship}}

On the night of 29 July 2021, Bella shared with the Suitress an edited 9-minute clip of the full 4-hour incest call in private<ref>[[Incest fallout chat leaks#Bella reacts to incest call |A discord chat where Bella confirms sending the Suitress the 9-minute leak.]]</ref>, telling her that Chris was having sex with Barb. Some time later, the Suitress shared a further edited version of this call, which cut out most of Bella's dialogue, on a separate Discord server, which was later uploaded onto YouTube.

When people doubted the authenticity of the leak, the Suitress then shared the entire 9-minute clip she was given, which also had Bella's voice on it, on the same server without her permission. The leak was soon uploaded by two different users onto both Reddit and YouTube, respectively.

The Suitress then at one point asked for the full call, but was always given excuses by Bella as to why she couldn't share it with her, including that her phone would "record randomly". Bella was also evidently irritated by the Suitress leaking the 9-minute audio.<ref name=pissedbella></ref>

==Leak Aftermath==
{{Misinfo|Despite your worst fears, the Suitress was never "institutionalized". At worst, she went through a depressive episode after the leaks and was temporarily hospitalized. She appears to be doing fine according to accounts from people that knew her. In any case, do NOT attempt to contact her, as it is clear she wants nothing more to do with Chris.}}

After GiBi posted a video, which featured uncensored screenshots of her texts with [[Bella]] that left her phone number visible,<ref>[[:File:GiBi discusses Bella and the Suitress screenshot.png]]</ref> already carrying the weight of her addiction towards Chris content, Chris fucking his mom, these events making headlines, Bella and The WCT dropping her personal information on other websites, and now a channel she once followed engaging in Bella's attempt to frame her, the Suitress had an alleged nervous breakdown, and was hospitalized the following day.

According to posts she made on the various accounts she tried to use soon afterwards, she later developed a disliking for Chris. In a [[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Eels and the Egg-man)|letter sent from a fan]], Chris admits that he still has a desire to reach out to her, but was able to do so through astral projection in order to "heal" and "help" her from a perceived emotional low.

The Suitress's arc can be thought of as yet another cautionary tale as to why attempting to get in contact with Chris, regardless of the motive for doing so, can and will end in utter disaster. Even after all these years, even after making the same mistake with [[Megan|two other]] [[Wallflower|gal-pals]], Chris has still shown to be a frequent oversharer, and will not respect the privacy of others. Compounded with that, seeing as how Chris is already on the radar of so many people, it logically follows that being in any form associated with him will land you on that same radar as well.

==Chris's desires to reconnect==

Unlike with Bella, Chris appears to have formed a much more favorable opinion towards the Suitress during his stay in jail. Chris has stated in a [[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Eels and the Egg-man)|30 November 2021]] jail letter that even when they can no longer communicate through regular means, he still cares about the Suitress, and discusses how he foresaw the events that would "pin her emotions". He has also stated, although he hadn't recorded her phone number, that he was able to communicate with and "heal" her from jail by means of astral projection.

In a [[Jail Letter - 13 June 2022|13 June]] Jail Letter, Chris denies that the Suitress was involved with a "Pedophile scandal" involving Bella. [[Jail Letter - 4 July 2022|A later letter]] revealed that Chris believes that Bella was trying to get him and the Suitress in a relationship in order for her to label him as a "pedophile". In the same letter, he denies the Suitress ever being attracted to him, instead claiming she was an "innocent bystander". He also points out how he felt the Suitress looked like a "youthful high school sophomore", despite her claims of being older, in the same letter, he refers to the Suitress by a pet name he has referred to her as in chats, "Fifi".

==Art Gallery==

===Chris-related===

Below is a gallery of known pieces of Chris fanart that the Suitress created.

<center><gallery>
File:SuitressSketch20.jpg|A drawing of Chris in hedgehog-defensive mode.
File:SuitressSketch21.png|A drawing for the [[Red vs Blue Reaction Livestreams]]
File:SuitressSketch22.jpeg|Stephanie Bustcakes
File:SuitressSketch1.png
File:SuitressSketch2.png
File:SuitressSketch3.png
File:SuitressSketch4.png
File:SuitressSketch5.jpeg
File:SuitressSketch10.png
File:SuitressSketch11.png
File:SuitressSketch12.jpg
File:SuitressSketch13.jpg
File:SuitressSketch14.png
File:SuitressSketch15.jpg
File:SuitressSketch16.png
File:SuitressSketch17.jpg
File:SuitressSketch18.jpg
File:SuitressSketch19.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Other===

Below is a gallery of other pieces of art that the Suitress created.

<center>
<gallery>
File:SuitressSketch6.jpg
File:SuitressSketch7.jpg
File:SuitressSketch8.jpg
File:SuitressSketch28.jpg
File:SuitressSketch9.jpg
File:SuitressSketch29.jpg
File:SuitressSketch23.jpg
File:SuitressSketch24.png
File:SuitressSketch25.png
File:SuitressSketch26.jpg
File:SuitressSketch27.png
File:BellaSnoo.png|The avatar the Suitress used for a Reddit throwaway account.
</gallery>
</center>

===Plush Doll===

Below is a plush doll Physical-Floor created for the Suitress.

<center><gallery>
File:ChrisPlush.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Fan video==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Relatively accurate video of how [the Suitress's] CwC crush actually developed
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pBCV_widalc}}
| Stardate = 16 March 2022
| Maker = DiscoRodeo
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Affair with Mother]]
* [[Animated Everfree Message]]
* [[CCCC Incest Call chat]]
* [[Isabella Loretta Janke]]
* [[Midnight Moonflower]] - Another gal-pal that had shown interest in Chris, and planned to meet him at a brony convention.
* [[Suitress DMs]]
* [[Suitress Facetime Videos‎]]
* [[The Wallflower]] - Essentially the inverse of the Suitress, and another gal-pal that found herself in Chris related drama.

{{Notes}}
{{References}}

{{IncestSaga}}
{{Love Quest}}
{{Fantasies}}
{{People}}
{{Articleofthenow}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Suitress}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Sweethearts-to-be]]
[[Category:Autistic]]
[[Category:LGBT]]

Kim Wilson

2023-09-12T02:24:06Z

Sandubadear: /* Attempts to improve Chris */

: ''"Kim" redirects here. For Chris's blow-up doll, see [[Kimmi]].''

{{Troll|She and [[Emily]] were played by [[LoveYouLongTime]].<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)#Emily and Kim Personas]]</ref>}}

[[Kim Wilson]], also known as '''ScarletSanctum''' is an undercover troll of Chris, and someone with far too much time on her hands. She was first mentioned in [[Kacey Call 1]], and much of what is known of her comes from references in the [[Kacey calls]]. In [[2009]], Kim was regularly calling Chris at 10 P.M.<ref>[[Kacey Call 8]]</ref>. She was played by [[LoveYouLongTime]]

Under the moniker [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum] (her YouTube username<ref name="Kacey 1" />) Kim served as a judge for the [[SingStar Challenge]],<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3#31 July]]</ref> where she voted in favor of [[Solid Chris]].<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eNmvI0DZjI]</ref>

Like [[Anna McLerran|Anna]], Kim is a frequent commentator on Chris's [[Facebook]] page. However, Anna harbors an intense dislike of Kim, and has accused her of being a [[troll]].

In [[June 2020]], after seeing an episode of ''[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]'' featuring [[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2013-2014#Chris fucks himself|an e-mail Kim had leaked on Kiwi Farms in which Chris discussed shoving his dick up his ass]], Chris finally realized Kim was a troll.<ref>[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History#Mentions by Chris]]</ref>

==Introduction to Chris and Kacey==
Prior to the Kacey calls, Kim had been emailing Chris, helping him get into [[Liquid Chris]]'s email account.<ref name="Father">[[Father Call]]</ref> In an attempt to establish that she was not a [[boyfriend-free girl]], she told him she was with a tough dude named Logan, and together they had two German shepherds.<ref name="Kacey 1">[[Kacey Call 1]]</ref> Irrespective of this, Chris typically still thought Kim liked him, and asked Kacey to ask her what she thought of him, despite having stated "I respect her space very much."<ref>[[Kacey Call 3]]</ref> After Chris gave Kim's email address to Kacey, the two became friends.<ref>[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]</ref>

==Interactions==
In [[August 2009]], Kim asked Chris to share his [[PSN]] information with her. He happily surrendered his username and password, resulting in his PSN account getting hacked.<ref>[[Kacey Call 4]]</ref>

By [[September 2009]], Kim was regularly calling Chris. It was Kim's suggestion that Chris get a [[sports bra]] for exercising, prompting Chris to purchase one.<ref name="kaceycall7">[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref> That month, Chris also sent her the pictures of him with [[Faeryn]], as well as the infamous picture of him in the sports bra.<ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref><ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref> He also told her (inappropriately) that he had an insecurity over [[Duck|penis]] size.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> While Chris ignored her suggestion to do a [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] [[cosplay]],<ref>[[Kacey Call 22]]</ref> he would in fact later cosplay as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. She tried to get Chris to give her his [[PS3]], under the guise that her boyfriend was a professional who could debug it, but failed.<ref>[[Kacey Call 18]]</ref>. It was Kim who told Chris that [[Regina]] could just be "a whole bunch of misunderstandings", instead of a troll.<ref name="Kacy24">[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref>. The most notable call between Chris and Kim was one where he admitted to [[PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!|spooning his mother]], along with having sexual thoughts about her, all the way back in [[2010]].

===Attempts to improve Chris===
Like Kacey, Kim actually tried to get Chris to improve his life. She encouraged Chris to eat right, to [[exercise]],<ref name="kaceycall7"/> to stop [[sigh]]ing and saying "whatever", to take his [[Lego]] city apart,<ref name="Kacy24">[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref> to learn to play the [[guitar]],<ref>[[Kacey Call 14]]</ref> to find a [[job]] (even giving him a mock job interview)<ref>[[Kacey Call 19]]</ref> and [[Affair with Mother|not to fuck his mother]].<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts]]</ref> Chris obliged none of her requests.

==Real-life encounters==
Kim may have already encountered Chris by the spring of [[2009]]. In a chat with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] from [[April 2009|22 April]] Chris talked about meeting [[Joshua Martinez|Joshua]] at the mall along with a girl named Kim,<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 7]]</ref> although whether it was Kim Wilson is unknown. The only information discernible about the Kim mentioned in said chat is that she was not previously familiar to Chris (he had a slight trouble recalling her name) and that he was somewhat sexually interested in her ("[Kim] was cute and sexy, but I still remain devoted to my Sweetest [[Ivy]]").

At one point, Chris met Kim (Wilson) in person, going to an Applebee's with her and Kacey.<ref name="Father" />

On [[June 2009]] a number of [[Chris's Big Night Out|videos of Chris interacting in public]] were uploaded to the YouTube account [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum], which, as Chris has confirmed, belongs to Kim.<ref name="Kacey 1" /> Another series of [[Chris's Big Night Out II|similar videos]] was released by the same account on [[July 2009]]. Part II was shot long before its release in July 2009 - the girl in the video mentions hiding from Chris the fact that she's in a relationship, but Chris was under the impression that Kim had a boyfriend named Logan a month before the video's release - 15 June 2009.<ref name="sorry" />

The boyfriend Logan character was created as a means to prevent Chris from being too creepy to Kim, and as a means to [[manipulation|manipulate]] Chris into doing something by feeding him a sob story about Kim and Logan having relationship problems.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)#Boyfriend Character]]</ref>

==Mentions in videos==
In [[June 2009]], after Chris created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', an upset Kim forced Chris to create the apology video
''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', in which Chris insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Kim claimed to be upset because her boyfriend had a gay brother who lost both his arms in Iraq,<ref name="sorry">[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]</ref> the veracity of which was never confirmed.

Chris mentions Kim in his [[August 2009]] video, [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]], in which Chris states that Kim brought it to his attention that his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] of [[Liquid Chris]] was too harsh of a punishment.<ref>[[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]</ref>

In [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]], made on 14 [[March 2010]], Chris mentions that he shares with [[The Wallflower]] a female friend, whom he nicknames Scarlet. Seeing that Kim's YouTube username is ScarletSanctum, this is likely a reference to her. In the video, Chris says that he forwarded to Scarlet the "admissions" of [[Surfshack Tito]], likely referring to the email Tito sent him on the day the video was made.<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails 3]]: Scroll down the page to see the aforementioned email from Tito.</ref>

In the [[Autism Tutorial]]s Chris made several mentions of a gal-pal of his named "Mic". Considering his [[Naitsirch|fondness]] [[Slaweel|for anagrams]], it is not unlikely to assume that Mic is a code name for Kim. In his first mention of Mic Chris bemoans her unwillingness to move him out of her [[friend zone]].<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]</ref> If she is really Kim this suggest that at some point she broke up with Logan, as Chris would probably not try to take things with her to the next level if she wasn't [[Boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]].

In his last mention of Mic, Chris says that they do not often hang out with each other due to Mic being busy.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]</ref>

==Facebook==
After Chris retreated from public view into his private Facebook page in 2012, Kim followed him there and made regular comments on his wall. Her remarks are usually compliments or bits of gently proffered advice attempting to push Chris's socializing in a positive direction (though he does not often follow them) or occasionally some serious criticism (which he never follows).

On 5 September 2012 [[Anna McLerran]] called Kim out as a troll in a comment thread following [[September 2012 Facebook posts#Possible troll|one of Chris's posts]]. Either Chris ignored her accusation or he wasn't convinced, as he continued to recognize Kim as one of his few friends in subsequent updates.

On 12 May 2015, Kim commented on a photo on Chris's Facebook page, revealing that he is now taking female hormones.

Following Chris and [[Jessica Quinn]]'s [[Jessica Quinn#Second breakup|breakup]] on 5 October 2017, Kim attempted to console Chris; however she misinterpreted the cause, to which Chris [[Chris and anger|ranted at her]]. In his rage, Chris remarked that Kim knows the [[Magical Man]]'s identity:

<center><gallery>

File:Chris_vs_Kim_Wilson_Oct_2017.png

File:IMG 04.jpg

File:IMG_05.jpg

</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)]]

{{References}}

{{EmilySaga}}
{{LiquidSaga}}
{{SecondExile}}
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Wilson, Kim}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]

Main Page

2023-09-08T00:19:30Z

Sandubadear:

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<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em; color:#000;">Welcome to the [[CWCki]]!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris Chan]],<br>author of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', controversial [[YouTube]] personality,<br>[[transgender]] [[Messiah complex|goddess]], and [[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 25 August 2023.png|formerly incarcerated]] [[Affair with Mother|mother fucker]].</div>
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__NOTOC____NOEDITSECTION__

[[Category:Special]]

List of Love Quest candidates

2023-08-28T03:55:27Z

Sandubadear: /* MKRNightVee */

{{quote|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had a good number of women friends in my lifetime. They cared and respected me; they were ALL honest and good to me. Most of what my Trolls say when they DARE to drag their names through the mud with mine are Lies or Exaggerations. I am here to set the records straight.|Chris on his past gal-pals and sweethearts.}}

For less than two decades, Chris was desperate to lose his moniker of "[[Virgin with rage]]". While most ladies swoon with his to-the-point sign, and often times inappropriate advances on them, others threw themselves at Chris saying how awesome and hunky he was. In the latter scenario, Chris was ready and willing to sweep them off their feet and bring them into his life.

This article '''lists''' all of the women and men that Chris had seen as potential candidates to finally completing his search for a sweetheart.

==Key==

Every entry listed in this article is split into 3 separate categories:


#'''Sweethearts-to-be''' - Candidates that Chris had seen as potential sweethearts that weren't troll personas, most of which had shown no affection back towards him.
#'''Catfishers''' - Personas that were created by trolls, pretending to pursue a relationship with Chris
#'''Fabricated''' - Lovers that Chris had made up.

==The Women (and Men) in Chris's Life==

===[[Sarah Hammer]]===
[[Image:0715-ChristianWSarahcropped.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
Sarah was the first person that Chris tried to bond with, as well as Chris' first manipulator, even before [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Once a [[gal-pal]] of his, '''Sarah Hammer''' was a childhood "friend" of Chris who tricked him into crawling into a tight, dark, cobweb infested space, and tried to convince him to put a honeysuckle in his mouth. Her relationship with another lover was also part of the reason as to why Chris began his [[Love Quest]]. When [[Wes Iseli]] started dating her, Chris felt there was a romantic rivalry between the two of them, even though Sarah had little concern about Chris at the time. Wes, enviously, barely even knew Chris. His pursuit of Sarah came to an end when she got married (Chris was not invited to the wedding) and he found [[Megan Schroeder|another girl to crush over]].

{{clear}}

===[[Laura Beth Dorazio|Laura]]===
[[File:Laura.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
During his sophomore year, Chris began pursuing '''Laura Dorazio''', a cheerleader. Laura was Chris's first major [[high school]] crush. Despite being told that she merely saw him as a "friend", Chris's infatuation would continue even after graduation high school; he habitually pored over old yearbooks with pictures of her. In several ways, his feelings towards her foreshadowed behaviors he'd show with many of the candidates that appear later on this list. Chris appeared to have taken no for an answer, but still obsessed over her, mentioning her in several future videos and comics.

{{clear}}
===[[Kellie Andes|Kellie]]===
[[File:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Kellie Andes''' was another high school crush of Chris's starting in his sophomore year, being Chris's lab partner in his chemistry class. Chris considers her to be his "High School Sweetheart", and believed that he had a shot with her, but blew it as a result of [[Naive|naïveté]] or general inattentiveness with proposing to her. Unlike most other high school gal-pals, Chris was able to continue contact with Kellie for an entire year after graduating. The stories as to what came of this are highly conflicting, but Chris would attempt to call her weekly in vain. Despite Chris's belief that he had a "shot" with her, he stood no chance whatsoever. Kellie had already been happily married to a [[JERK|firefighter]] with two children. Kellie cut off all ties from Chris as soon as she discovered the video where Chris [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|simulates licking Jackie's vagina]].

{{clear}}

===[[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]]===
[[File:Tiffany.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Tiffany Gowen''' was yet another High School gal-pal that Chris developed feelings for. Compared to other high-school gal pals, Tiffany has shown the most compassion towards Chris. Chris sat at her lunch table everyday and she attended his [[My_big_18th_party|18th birthday party]]. After learning that Chris brought his [[Barb|mom]] to prom as his date, Tiffany asked Chris to dance out of pity, as well as being the only student to console him during his graduation. All of this kindness directed towards him made Chris consider Tiffany to be a potential sweetheart. Like most of his other gal pals at the time, communication between the two ended after high school. Despite this, Chris was still convinced that were they to meet again he would have a shot. Chris expands on these fantasies in "[[The High School Story]]" about the prom dance with genderswapped counterparts of Tiffany and himself, which is followed by the cross gendered Tiffany proposing marriage. Efforts by Chris to track down Tiffany had intensified by 2013, up until the troll [[Thetan]] had impersonated several high-school gal-pals and convinced him that there were no mutual feelings between the two of them.

{{clear}}

===[[Anna McLerran|Anna]]===
[[File:Anamc.jpg|thumb|100px|left]]
'''Anna McLerran''' was an employee of the PacSun at Fashion Square Mall.

{{clear}}

===[[Hanna]]===
[[File:Hanna.jpg|thumb|left|75px]]

Hanna was one of the first incidents of Chris being lured in by a fake sweetheart as well the first woman Chris had ever dated. A Starbucks employee at the Fashion Square Mall, Chris's interactions with '''Hanna "Fandanna"''' predate even the incident in which the Man In the Pickle Suit stole Emily. Initially keeping Hanna's identity anonymous, Chris detailed his encounter with her in one of his [[MySpace]] posts. An acquaintance of [[Anna McLerran]], Hanna had asked Chris out on a date. After the date, Anna told Chris that Hanna was messing with him, to which Hanna would admit, dropping Chris's [[Heart Level]] down to 15%; this was a severe tumble from its recent gains from 20% to 100%. Chris claimed in a chat with [[Vivian Gee]] that he had let out a big "NO" while on his knees, which would prompt [[jerkops|mall officers]] to temporarily kick him out of the [[mall]].

{{clear}}

===[[Lindsay]]===
[[File:Lindsaykane.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Lindsay Kaye''' was a woman that Chris had met on [[MySpace]] who, like Chris, had attended [[PVCC]]. She was rather friendly to Chris and was open with him about her personal life, making Chris believe he actually had a chance with her. Chris would try to meet with Lindsay multiple times but due to her actually having a life, she was unable (or unwilling) to show up. Chris would eventually give up after six weeks of pursuing her and continue his love quest elsewhere.

{{clear}}

===[[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]===
[[File:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Megan Schroeder''' is possibly the epitome of the term "sweetheart". The “love story” began between her and Chris around [[2004]], when Chris met her at the [[GAMe PLACe]]. Both being into card games, the two naturally formed a sort of friendship. Megan would ask Chris to [[ebay|buy several things]] for her in emails, to which Chris would happily oblige. Chris took an interest fandoms that Megan was into, such as [[My Little Pony]] and [[anime]]. All seemed well even amidst Megan's discomfort and constantly reminding Chris to keep his hands off of her. Things would take a turn for the worse in late [[2005]] to [[2006]] when he grew more obsessed with Megan, [[Sailor Megtune|putting her in his comics]] and making inappropriate advances on her. Both of these things greatly upset Megan, which lead to Chris reconning her from the comic. Things would come crashing down one summer day in 2007, when some [[Manajerk|moderators]] on the [[PlayStation]] website decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]] and cheat Chris out of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|a contest]] in which he had hoped would tie the knot with her once and for all. Chris's anger at his loss, wishing harm on the 1st place winner's family, combined with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|certain other actions]], somehow drove Megan away, as well as any chance at winning back her heart.

{{clear}}

===[[Lori Lopez|Lori]]===
[[File:Lori.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
[[Joshua Martinez]] roleplayed as a Latin American/Spanish girl, '''Lori Lopez''', who Chris met through [[MySpace]], in November 2007, making her (him) the first person to catfish Chris online. Not much is known about Chris's relationship with Lori during their short time together. Joshua attempted to catfish Chris again with the persona [[Vanessa Hudgens]].

{{clear}}

===[[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]===
[[File:BWthumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
A girl Chris met online around [[August 2008]]. She was the first to introduce a character for the [[Sonichu comics]]. Things went swimmingly between the two until Chris began having suspicions about her. At the same time, he began seeing another woman, causing friction between the two of them. When Blanca asked to see his [[medallion|medallions]], Chris happily obliged until trolls intercepted and destroyed them. Soon after, Blanca broke up with Chris, shattering his heart (Chris would revision this event with him dumping her.)

{{clear}}
===[[Sarah Jackson]]===
[[File:TheRealSarahJackson.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Sarah Jackson''' met Chris after her sister Rose, who is autistic, had discovered his [[Sonichu comics]]. She met Chris around the same time he was pursuing a relationship with Blanca. When the two women finally confronted each other, Chris chose Blanca. Sarah would later die by [[Optimus Prime|a truck hitting her]].

{{clear}}

===[[Jessie Ruddy|Jessie]]===
[[File:JessieRuddy.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]

'''Jessica "Jessie" Ruddy''' was a troll gal-pal created in [[September 2008]], who Chris had met in a chat. Very little is actually known about Jessie, or the troll behind her, outside of her alleged interactions with Chris which have been shared in a [[Talk:Jessie Ruddy|talk page]] on this website.

Jessie was later mentioned in a video which was directed towards [[Ivy]], which showcased some of Chris's past sweethearts. In the description of that video, she is listed as "Woman #3" among a list of 5 women he's previously considered his "sweetheart".

{{clear}}
===[[Chloe]]===
[[File:Chloe.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
When Chris broke up with Blanca, Chris claimed he was seeing a girl named '''Chloe''', whom he claimed to have met at a [[GameStop]]. Many never bought Chris's claims and Chloe was never mentioned again. Some believe that "Chloe" is actually a codename for PandaHalo.

{{clear}}

===[[PandaHalo]]===
[[File:Pandathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
A girl Chris met at the same time he was seeing Blanca. When he and Blanca broke up, Chris immediately set his sights on '''Sarah "PandaHalo" Cassandra'''. Panda discovered just how desperate Chris was for sex when he admitted he would gladly have sex with an animal for her pleasure. Panda would later be raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and be pregnant with his child. Chris tried to get her to have an abortion while Panda attempted to get him to join her and Clyde in Clyde's mansion. In the end, Chris gave up Panda to Clyde when she told him he if they wanted to stay together, he should make Sonichu a reality, and Chris didn't want to put that much work into it.

{{clear}}

===[[Caitlin]]===
[[File:Caitlin.jpg|thumb|100px|left]]
'''Caitlin''' was a seemingly [[boyfriend-free]] waitress from [[Golden Corral]] that Chris had a crush on. Chris mentioned an encounter with her to [[PandaHalo]] in a message. In this encounter, Caitlin commented on a [[Family Guy]] episode that he was watching on his [[PSP]], which led Chris to believe that she was interested in him. Chris would then write on a napkin a link to his [[Sonichu.net|Sonichu website]] in hopes that they would be friends soon after.

{{clear}}
===[[Julie]]===
[[File:JulieMilvana.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
Soon after breaking up with Panda, Chris immediately began seeing '''Julie Milvana'''. To please Julie, Chris performed number of sex acts and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|recorded them]]. One of these moments was [[Bob Walks In|interrupted by Bob Chandler]]. In late February, Julie's brother [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]] held her against her will. Chris mounted a daring rescue, [[Ohio trip|driving all the way to Ohio]] to rescue her only to arrive at a fake address. Max put Chris through the wringer, showing how desperate Chris was for a girl while taunting him before revealing that both Max and Julie never existed - they were the [[BlueSpike|same person]], portrayed by 13 year old boy with too much free time.

{{clear}}
===[[Emily]]===
[[File:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Emily Schifflet''' was Chris's [[Emily#Chris's first date|first real date]], and one of the very few gal-pals Chris ever had the privilege of dating. Sadly, their time together was cut short when a [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Man in a Pickle Suit]] scared her away during the date. Emily was soon the mastermind behind several other trolling schemes, such as [[Sign Destruction Video|placing a sign on lawn]] and taking the role as his troll some gal-pal [[Kim Wilson]]

{{clear}}

===[[Kim Wilson|Kim]]===

'''Kim Wilson''' was one of Emily's pseudonyms, though Chris genuinely believed her to be an entirely different person until watching an episode of [[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History]]. Of note is how Chris had revealed that he had been spooning his mother after Emily, while under the Kim persona, had denied wanting to be in a relationship with him. Chris had also asked if they would repopulate the Earth if they were the only two people in existence.

===[[Ivy]]===
[[File:Ivythumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
Another girl Chris had eyes for. He began seeing '''Ivy O'Neil''' not long after the incident with Julie. During this time, Chris went to great lengths to show how much he was in love with Ivy. Unlike Panda and Julie, Ivy never showed any interest in sexual acts, preferring seeing the comics instead. Chris happily obliged, creating three special comics in the process as well as multiple creepy videos, a video of him drinking his own [[navy|semen]], and an entire album of songs about her. While he was with Ivy, he also proceeded to cheat on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] which would ultimately end their relationship.

{{clear}}
===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]]===
[[File:Vanessathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''S'''he '''H'''as '''E'''xchanged '''S'''everal '''A'''IM [[Joshua Martinez|'''M'''essages '''A'''nd '''N'''udie]] woman pics with Chris on [[Facebook]]. This relationship truly highlighted how [[naïve]] Chris was and how willing he was to cheat on his sweetheart to get some [[china]]. Aside from this, she's been much too preoccupied with her [[Work|celebrity life]] to really care about Chris.

{{clear}}

===[[Faeryn]]===
[[File:Chris2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Faeryn "Hambeast"''' was an obese woman who Chris met at [[List of restaurants#Applebee's|Applebee's]] through Kim Wilson. Their time was short due to a mutual lack of interest in [[Obesity|fat, unattractive,]] [[Chris and health#Hygiene|and disgusting]] people.

{{clear}}

===[[Kacey]]===
[[File:Kacey2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
When [[Liquid Chris]] made his appearance, Chris fought valiantly to prove his identity. When Chris discovered that Liquid had a girlfriend named '''Kacey Devoria''', he attempted to win her over by impersonating Liquid in a few calls, with the assumption being that, as the TRUE and HONEST Chris, she should be ''his'' girlfriend. When Liquid made his comeback months later, Chris would successfully win Kacey over. During their relationship, Kacey would encourage him to eat healthier, clean up his room and throw out things he didn’t need, and get a job. He would lose her not even weeks later due to a combination of being stood up for a date, [[Father Call|a confrontation with her father]], and [[Sonichu Special 4|a horrific comic]]. Kacey later broke up with Chris and married Liquid.

{{clear}}

===[[Regina e-mails|Regina]]===
[[File:CzechStudent.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Regina Novakova''' was a Czech foreign exchange student studying at [[UVA]] who was interested in buying a ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]] from Chris. Chris, of course, believed she was also trying to pursue a romantic relationship with him. Chris quickly discontinued contact with her, leaving her guitarless.

{{clear}}
==="[[The Wallflower]]"===
[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
According to a set of e-mails that Chris sent to [[Vivian Gee]], on 22 January 2010, Chris had met '''the Wallflower''' at a "Young Adult Social Group". Before her discovery, Chris tried to keep her anonymous, putting her under the screenname '''"Damian Antaria"'''. However, Chris would still use her real name in multiple videos, and had accidentally leaked both the codename, and her likeness in one of his [[Little Big Planet]] levels, causing her to get attention from trolls, and getting doxed in the process. Having learned nothing from the Megan drama, Chris committed extensively to forming a romantic relationship with her despite her insistence that they weren't dating and that she was asexual. Like Megan, she cut all ties with Chris after finding out about his status as a lolcow and what he was saying about her on the internet. Chris feuded with her new boyfriend [[Surfshack Tito]].

{{clear}}

===[[Jackie]]===
[[File:Jackiethumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jacklyn "Jackie" Romy''' was Chris' sweetheart from [[April 2010|April]] to [[October 2010]]. Chris met her on the [[Hook Cafe|HooK Café]].Jackie was less brutal than most of his fake sweethearts, trying to get him to make more positive changes in his life and encouraging him to play less video games. Still, she influenced him to make more videos on the internet and further embarrass himself. He was prodded into doing a voice call with her ex boyfriend [[Lars]], a black man who made miniature boats. Chris (for once) eventually saw through Jackie's trolling and ended the relationship.

{{clear}}

===[[Catherine]]===
[[File:CandC.jpeg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Catherine Sorrentino''' was a sweetheart/troll that Chris pursued in mid-[[2014]], the first woman to troll him after the [[Bob_Chandler#Later_life.2C_poor_health_and_death|death of Bob]], after he found that she was a 97% match on [[OkCupid]] in [[July 2014]]. Catherine saw an opportunity to document our [[TRUE and HONEST]] hero and accepted a [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript|lunch date]] at Applebees. They chatted until Catherine friendzoned Chris in [[September 2014]] for being creepy and generally clingy, which resulted in [[I Love You, Catherine]]. Catherine cut Chris off completely in [[December 2014]].

{{clear}}

===[[DoopieDoOver]]===
[[File:DoopieDoOver.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''DoopieDoOver''' is an artist, animator, and voice actor for the YouTube channel [[Planet Dolan]], and a cohost on the lazycast podcast. While Chris appeared to have thought of her as a potential [[gal pal]] or maybe even someone who was interested in him, she simply saw him as just another [[Financhu Crisis|customer]]. She eventually blocked him and removed him as a patron from her [[Patreon]] after being harassed by [[weens]], as well as being uncomfortable with someone who was struggling financially giving her money. Most importantly of all, she severed ties because Chris was making her uncomfortable personally. Needless to say, Chris did his absolute best to become her knight in shining armor when the [[HarassCWCdirectly|times were dire]] not realizing the main reason was because he was being creepy to her.

{{clear}}

===[[Jessica Quinn|Jessica]]===
[[File:JessicaQuinn.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jessica Quinn''' started as a [[white knight]] in [[2015]]. She stayed on the back burner until a few months after Chris was friendzoned by [[Doopie]] in [[September 2017]]. Jessica and Chris then entered a complicated relationship on [[Facebook]]. She is noted by her fat fetish and encouraging Chris to [[Obesity|gain weight]] to fulfill her fat fantasy. Most of their dating involved talking through Facebook posts, eventually, Chris liked a Tweet from a female complimenting him which caused her to temporarily break up with him. This caused Chris to upload a crying video and [[Barb]] to win her back for Chris. They patched things up after a couple of days and then planned to see the My Little Pony movie that was coming out that [[October 2017|October]]. In early October Chris was encouraged to rejoin [[Kiwi Farms]] and do a Q&A thread with a video shortly afterward. The day after Chris answered questions on video, Quinn's account shut down; she blamed Chris for this, saying that he attracted hackers from Kiwi Farms. This was to be their final breakup and caused him to have his biggest tard rage video since his correspondence with [[Surfshack Tito]]. She tried to re-insert herself in early 2018 but by then Chris was immersed in the Idea Guy Saga and Quinn found herself thwarted by the [[Idea Guys]] themselves.

Jessica Quinn was once thought to serve as the final sweetheart of the Lovequest as Chris had seemed to abandon the quest in [[March 2018]] due to influence from the Idea Guys. Despite this, Chris's search for a sweetheart did not end there.

{{clear}}

===[[Bryanfrogboy|Bryan]]===
[[File:Bryanfrogboy.jpg|thumb|130px|left]]

'''Bryan Shikley''' was the creator of ''Chris Chan: A Prequel Comic'', a comic which would catch Chris's attention in early January of 2018.

Around the time when Chris was being brainwashed into believing he was [[bisexual]] by the [[Idea Guys]], he had been flirting and writing a gay erotica poem of Bryan.

{{clear}}

===Various OCs ([[Cryzel]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Sylvana]], [[Mewtwo]], and [[Pickchu]])===
[[File:OurWedding 9.png|thumb|left|100px]]
Chris's [[polyamorous marriage]] to fictional characters, a belief planted in his mind by the [[Idea Guys]] beginning in [[March 2018]]. This is by far the most bizarre relationship Chris has found himself in. In the past Chris had been strongly opposed to the idea of falling in love with fictional characters, despite him falling in love with [[Meg Griffin]] from [[Family Guy]]. His stance softened as he realized that he might never find a sweetheart in real life; by settling for his own fictional creations, he could end his love quest.
He would first marry Cryzel Rosechu and Magi-Chan Sonichu, before adding Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo into his harem.
This would unfortunately fail to keep Chris satisfied for long; he eventually started a sexual relationship with an [[Barbara Chandler|older woman]] who happened to be boyfriend free.

Chris claims to have updated the polygomous marriage in a [[Jail Letter]], stating that he now consider's [[Helena Fiorenza]]'s OC, Pickchu, to be part of his "harem".

{{clear}}

===[[Tings Tingz]]===
[[File:TingsTingz.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Tings Tingz''' was one of the regular members of the [[white knight]] group [[CWCProtectSquad]].

Chris told [[Tings Tingz]] that his [[polyamorous marriage]] to his [[imaginary friends]] was open and "so you may ship yourself and I together." Tings declined.<ref>[[Tings Tingz DMs#Magi-chan & Cryzel chat]]</ref>

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===[[Jacob Sockness|Jacob]]===
[[File:SocknessCWC.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jacob Sockness''' started out as a hardcore white knight in [[September 2018]] and had a stroke of luck in [[July 2019]] when Chris followed him on [[Twitter]]. Despite Chris's blatant [[homophobia]] during the lovequest, he was [[brainwashed]] into identifying as [[bisexual]] by the Idea Guys in 2018. Jacob, who has been open about his sexual desires for Chris, took things a step further and groomed Chris into warming up to the idea of a relationship by [[Sockness impersonates Magi-Chan|manipulating him using Magi-Chan and the Dimensional Merge]]. Jacob was forced to turn back en route to visit Chris in [[September 2019]], but Chris still kept in contact with Jacob as he was led to believe Jacob is the key to unlocking the Dimensional Merge, stating that they could kiss at some point. Jacob was later friendzoned on 27 November in a Twitter thread by Chris stating that he didn't need to be in a relationship with Jacob in order for the Dimensional Merge to happen and was blocked once and for all in [[August 2020]].

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===[[MKRNightVee]]===
[[File:MeghanRingo.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

Starting off as a white knight in 2019 and eventually turning into an [[enabler]], '''MKRNightVee''' had created a character based off of Nights and the Pokemon Eevee, [[NightVee]], taking a cue from [[Sonichu]] being a cross between Sonic and Pikachu. MKR would create fan art and a [[medallion]] for Chris.
She eventually got into contact with Chris via a friend and she would proclaim herself as the “[[CPU|CPU goddess]] of the Nintendo Switch”. She grew increasingly possessive towards Chris which led to him eventually cutting her off and leaving the [[The Place|discord server]] they were in together. This would be one of the rare cases where Chris turned down the boyfriend-free girl.

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===[[Annie]]===
[[File:AnnieIkenberry.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Annie Ikenberry''' was a [[Praetor]] member and OnlyFans camgirl that Chris had stated to see as a potential sweetheart.

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===[[Isabella Loretta Janke|Bella]]===
[[File:Bella.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Isabella "Bella" Loretta Janke'''<ref>[[Lonely feelings]]</ref> is an edgelord infamous for her involvement in a call where Chris describes his relationship with his mother in graphic detail, infamous as the leader of the [[Chess Club Chats|TTU Chess Club]], a group which encouraged the bullying and harassment of other students at her university. She roleplayed as the past high-school gal-pal and sweetheart, [[Kellie Andes]] for a period of three and a half months, roleplayed as a Curiosity Stream employee in order to get him to [[Richmond, Virginia]] for a supposed interview about [[autism]], and [[Larry Vaughn]] claimed she had played a part with manipulating Chris during his saga. Bella created an animation for Chris which he narrated. By presenting a genial façade to Chris, she was able to gain a large amount of trust from him. She claimed that Chris has been insistent on booking a room with her at the [[Everfree Northwest]] convention, rather than the [[Suitress]].<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Everfree Love Triangle]]</ref> Bella told the Suitress that Chris would make sexual remarks towards her. Chris was unaware of Bella’s A-logging; she had joked about wanting to get him to kill/harm himself. On top of all of that, Bella already had developed a crush on the Suitress and claimed to want to "steal" her from Chris. Chris trusted Bella enough to admit that he was having an affair with his mother. After the Suitress had leaked a chunk of the resulting call to her friends, Chris was [[Jail_Saga#Arrest|arrested]]. Bella also created fake texts in which he admitted to performing BDSM-style sex on [[Barb]].

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===[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]===
[[File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
It seems that after all these years, the sweetheart Chris sought after was right in front of him all along, laying amidst the heaps of trash and [[List of toys|toys]] within [[14 Branchland Court]]. But we, the people of [[1218]], would never let them [[Affair with Mother|be together]], and so [[Jerkops|the authorities]] tragically took them away from each other, with Chris being [[Jail Saga|locked up]] and '''Barb''' being left to sulk in her chamber, both lonely and heartbroken...

Despite this, Chris would also meet one more woman who actually ''wanted'' to get it on with Chris. In a cruel twist of fate, she would end up exposing Chris's incest with his mother.

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==="[[The Suitress]]"===
[[File:AHiddenSuitress.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
A young autistic woman who Chris declared as his "first real sweetheart"<ref>[[Bella and Suitress chats#Discussion of Incest Call]]</ref>, and possibly the youngest candidate to date. Incredibly, she had formed a genuine crush on Chris. This woman, codenamed in the CWCki as "'''The Suitress'''", was in contact with Chris by [[July 2021|mid-July 2021]] and [[Suitress Facetime Videos|the two made video calls]] including one in which they simulated kissing each other. The Suitress recounted an instance of Chris being turned on by her when she exposed herself to him. Chris agreed to have sex with her claiming that doing so would improve her "mental and emotional development". Like with the [[Wallflower]], Chris tried to keep the Suitress anonymous with most people he contacted, referring to her as '''"Fifi Vixenhart"'''. Chris sent both her and Bella an invite to the [[Knights of CWC]] Discord Server run by [[The WCT]], and the Suitress and Bella got in contact over DMs. On 27 July, Bella recorded the [[incest call]] and sent a nine minute version of it to Suitress the following day. The Suitress was the one who initiated leaks of this call, first sharing a further edited four minute version of the call, then the full nine minutes, ultimately leading to Chris getting put in jail after concerned observers reported on this activity.

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{{References}}


==See Also==
*[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]
{{Love Quest}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Lists]]

List of Love Quest candidates

2023-08-28T03:53:35Z

Sandubadear: /* "The Wallflower" */

{{quote|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had a good number of women friends in my lifetime. They cared and respected me; they were ALL honest and good to me. Most of what my Trolls say when they DARE to drag their names through the mud with mine are Lies or Exaggerations. I am here to set the records straight.|Chris on his past gal-pals and sweethearts.}}

For less than two decades, Chris was desperate to lose his moniker of "[[Virgin with rage]]". While most ladies swoon with his to-the-point sign, and often times inappropriate advances on them, others threw themselves at Chris saying how awesome and hunky he was. In the latter scenario, Chris was ready and willing to sweep them off their feet and bring them into his life.

This article '''lists''' all of the women and men that Chris had seen as potential candidates to finally completing his search for a sweetheart.

==Key==

Every entry listed in this article is split into 3 separate categories:


#'''Sweethearts-to-be''' - Candidates that Chris had seen as potential sweethearts that weren't troll personas, most of which had shown no affection back towards him.
#'''Catfishers''' - Personas that were created by trolls, pretending to pursue a relationship with Chris
#'''Fabricated''' - Lovers that Chris had made up.

==The Women (and Men) in Chris's Life==

===[[Sarah Hammer]]===
[[Image:0715-ChristianWSarahcropped.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
Sarah was the first person that Chris tried to bond with, as well as Chris' first manipulator, even before [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Once a [[gal-pal]] of his, '''Sarah Hammer''' was a childhood "friend" of Chris who tricked him into crawling into a tight, dark, cobweb infested space, and tried to convince him to put a honeysuckle in his mouth. Her relationship with another lover was also part of the reason as to why Chris began his [[Love Quest]]. When [[Wes Iseli]] started dating her, Chris felt there was a romantic rivalry between the two of them, even though Sarah had little concern about Chris at the time. Wes, enviously, barely even knew Chris. His pursuit of Sarah came to an end when she got married (Chris was not invited to the wedding) and he found [[Megan Schroeder|another girl to crush over]].

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===[[Laura Beth Dorazio|Laura]]===
[[File:Laura.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
During his sophomore year, Chris began pursuing '''Laura Dorazio''', a cheerleader. Laura was Chris's first major [[high school]] crush. Despite being told that she merely saw him as a "friend", Chris's infatuation would continue even after graduation high school; he habitually pored over old yearbooks with pictures of her. In several ways, his feelings towards her foreshadowed behaviors he'd show with many of the candidates that appear later on this list. Chris appeared to have taken no for an answer, but still obsessed over her, mentioning her in several future videos and comics.

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===[[Kellie Andes|Kellie]]===
[[File:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Kellie Andes''' was another high school crush of Chris's starting in his sophomore year, being Chris's lab partner in his chemistry class. Chris considers her to be his "High School Sweetheart", and believed that he had a shot with her, but blew it as a result of [[Naive|naïveté]] or general inattentiveness with proposing to her. Unlike most other high school gal-pals, Chris was able to continue contact with Kellie for an entire year after graduating. The stories as to what came of this are highly conflicting, but Chris would attempt to call her weekly in vain. Despite Chris's belief that he had a "shot" with her, he stood no chance whatsoever. Kellie had already been happily married to a [[JERK|firefighter]] with two children. Kellie cut off all ties from Chris as soon as she discovered the video where Chris [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|simulates licking Jackie's vagina]].

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===[[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]]===
[[File:Tiffany.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Tiffany Gowen''' was yet another High School gal-pal that Chris developed feelings for. Compared to other high-school gal pals, Tiffany has shown the most compassion towards Chris. Chris sat at her lunch table everyday and she attended his [[My_big_18th_party|18th birthday party]]. After learning that Chris brought his [[Barb|mom]] to prom as his date, Tiffany asked Chris to dance out of pity, as well as being the only student to console him during his graduation. All of this kindness directed towards him made Chris consider Tiffany to be a potential sweetheart. Like most of his other gal pals at the time, communication between the two ended after high school. Despite this, Chris was still convinced that were they to meet again he would have a shot. Chris expands on these fantasies in "[[The High School Story]]" about the prom dance with genderswapped counterparts of Tiffany and himself, which is followed by the cross gendered Tiffany proposing marriage. Efforts by Chris to track down Tiffany had intensified by 2013, up until the troll [[Thetan]] had impersonated several high-school gal-pals and convinced him that there were no mutual feelings between the two of them.

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===[[Anna McLerran|Anna]]===
[[File:Anamc.jpg|thumb|100px|left]]
'''Anna McLerran''' was an employee of the PacSun at Fashion Square Mall.

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===[[Hanna]]===
[[File:Hanna.jpg|thumb|left|75px]]

Hanna was one of the first incidents of Chris being lured in by a fake sweetheart as well the first woman Chris had ever dated. A Starbucks employee at the Fashion Square Mall, Chris's interactions with '''Hanna "Fandanna"''' predate even the incident in which the Man In the Pickle Suit stole Emily. Initially keeping Hanna's identity anonymous, Chris detailed his encounter with her in one of his [[MySpace]] posts. An acquaintance of [[Anna McLerran]], Hanna had asked Chris out on a date. After the date, Anna told Chris that Hanna was messing with him, to which Hanna would admit, dropping Chris's [[Heart Level]] down to 15%; this was a severe tumble from its recent gains from 20% to 100%. Chris claimed in a chat with [[Vivian Gee]] that he had let out a big "NO" while on his knees, which would prompt [[jerkops|mall officers]] to temporarily kick him out of the [[mall]].

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===[[Lindsay]]===
[[File:Lindsaykane.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Lindsay Kaye''' was a woman that Chris had met on [[MySpace]] who, like Chris, had attended [[PVCC]]. She was rather friendly to Chris and was open with him about her personal life, making Chris believe he actually had a chance with her. Chris would try to meet with Lindsay multiple times but due to her actually having a life, she was unable (or unwilling) to show up. Chris would eventually give up after six weeks of pursuing her and continue his love quest elsewhere.

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===[[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]===
[[File:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Megan Schroeder''' is possibly the epitome of the term "sweetheart". The “love story” began between her and Chris around [[2004]], when Chris met her at the [[GAMe PLACe]]. Both being into card games, the two naturally formed a sort of friendship. Megan would ask Chris to [[ebay|buy several things]] for her in emails, to which Chris would happily oblige. Chris took an interest fandoms that Megan was into, such as [[My Little Pony]] and [[anime]]. All seemed well even amidst Megan's discomfort and constantly reminding Chris to keep his hands off of her. Things would take a turn for the worse in late [[2005]] to [[2006]] when he grew more obsessed with Megan, [[Sailor Megtune|putting her in his comics]] and making inappropriate advances on her. Both of these things greatly upset Megan, which lead to Chris reconning her from the comic. Things would come crashing down one summer day in 2007, when some [[Manajerk|moderators]] on the [[PlayStation]] website decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]] and cheat Chris out of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|a contest]] in which he had hoped would tie the knot with her once and for all. Chris's anger at his loss, wishing harm on the 1st place winner's family, combined with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|certain other actions]], somehow drove Megan away, as well as any chance at winning back her heart.

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===[[Lori Lopez|Lori]]===
[[File:Lori.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
[[Joshua Martinez]] roleplayed as a Latin American/Spanish girl, '''Lori Lopez''', who Chris met through [[MySpace]], in November 2007, making her (him) the first person to catfish Chris online. Not much is known about Chris's relationship with Lori during their short time together. Joshua attempted to catfish Chris again with the persona [[Vanessa Hudgens]].

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===[[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]===
[[File:BWthumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
A girl Chris met online around [[August 2008]]. She was the first to introduce a character for the [[Sonichu comics]]. Things went swimmingly between the two until Chris began having suspicions about her. At the same time, he began seeing another woman, causing friction between the two of them. When Blanca asked to see his [[medallion|medallions]], Chris happily obliged until trolls intercepted and destroyed them. Soon after, Blanca broke up with Chris, shattering his heart (Chris would revision this event with him dumping her.)

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===[[Sarah Jackson]]===
[[File:TheRealSarahJackson.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Sarah Jackson''' met Chris after her sister Rose, who is autistic, had discovered his [[Sonichu comics]]. She met Chris around the same time he was pursuing a relationship with Blanca. When the two women finally confronted each other, Chris chose Blanca. Sarah would later die by [[Optimus Prime|a truck hitting her]].

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===[[Jessie Ruddy|Jessie]]===
[[File:JessieRuddy.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]

'''Jessica "Jessie" Ruddy''' was a troll gal-pal created in [[September 2008]], who Chris had met in a chat. Very little is actually known about Jessie, or the troll behind her, outside of her alleged interactions with Chris which have been shared in a [[Talk:Jessie Ruddy|talk page]] on this website.

Jessie was later mentioned in a video which was directed towards [[Ivy]], which showcased some of Chris's past sweethearts. In the description of that video, she is listed as "Woman #3" among a list of 5 women he's previously considered his "sweetheart".

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===[[Chloe]]===
[[File:Chloe.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
When Chris broke up with Blanca, Chris claimed he was seeing a girl named '''Chloe''', whom he claimed to have met at a [[GameStop]]. Many never bought Chris's claims and Chloe was never mentioned again. Some believe that "Chloe" is actually a codename for PandaHalo.

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===[[PandaHalo]]===
[[File:Pandathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
A girl Chris met at the same time he was seeing Blanca. When he and Blanca broke up, Chris immediately set his sights on '''Sarah "PandaHalo" Cassandra'''. Panda discovered just how desperate Chris was for sex when he admitted he would gladly have sex with an animal for her pleasure. Panda would later be raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and be pregnant with his child. Chris tried to get her to have an abortion while Panda attempted to get him to join her and Clyde in Clyde's mansion. In the end, Chris gave up Panda to Clyde when she told him he if they wanted to stay together, he should make Sonichu a reality, and Chris didn't want to put that much work into it.

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===[[Caitlin]]===
[[File:Caitlin.jpg|thumb|100px|left]]
'''Caitlin''' was a seemingly [[boyfriend-free]] waitress from [[Golden Corral]] that Chris had a crush on. Chris mentioned an encounter with her to [[PandaHalo]] in a message. In this encounter, Caitlin commented on a [[Family Guy]] episode that he was watching on his [[PSP]], which led Chris to believe that she was interested in him. Chris would then write on a napkin a link to his [[Sonichu.net|Sonichu website]] in hopes that they would be friends soon after.

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===[[Julie]]===
[[File:JulieMilvana.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
Soon after breaking up with Panda, Chris immediately began seeing '''Julie Milvana'''. To please Julie, Chris performed number of sex acts and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|recorded them]]. One of these moments was [[Bob Walks In|interrupted by Bob Chandler]]. In late February, Julie's brother [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]] held her against her will. Chris mounted a daring rescue, [[Ohio trip|driving all the way to Ohio]] to rescue her only to arrive at a fake address. Max put Chris through the wringer, showing how desperate Chris was for a girl while taunting him before revealing that both Max and Julie never existed - they were the [[BlueSpike|same person]], portrayed by 13 year old boy with too much free time.

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===[[Emily]]===
[[File:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Emily Schifflet''' was Chris's [[Emily#Chris's first date|first real date]], and one of the very few gal-pals Chris ever had the privilege of dating. Sadly, their time together was cut short when a [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Man in a Pickle Suit]] scared her away during the date. Emily was soon the mastermind behind several other trolling schemes, such as [[Sign Destruction Video|placing a sign on lawn]] and taking the role as his troll some gal-pal [[Kim Wilson]]

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===[[Kim Wilson|Kim]]===

'''Kim Wilson''' was one of Emily's pseudonyms, though Chris genuinely believed her to be an entirely different person until watching an episode of [[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History]]. Of note is how Chris had revealed that he had been spooning his mother after Emily, while under the Kim persona, had denied wanting to be in a relationship with him. Chris had also asked if they would repopulate the Earth if they were the only two people in existence.

===[[Ivy]]===
[[File:Ivythumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
Another girl Chris had eyes for. He began seeing '''Ivy O'Neil''' not long after the incident with Julie. During this time, Chris went to great lengths to show how much he was in love with Ivy. Unlike Panda and Julie, Ivy never showed any interest in sexual acts, preferring seeing the comics instead. Chris happily obliged, creating three special comics in the process as well as multiple creepy videos, a video of him drinking his own [[navy|semen]], and an entire album of songs about her. While he was with Ivy, he also proceeded to cheat on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] which would ultimately end their relationship.

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===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]]===
[[File:Vanessathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''S'''he '''H'''as '''E'''xchanged '''S'''everal '''A'''IM [[Joshua Martinez|'''M'''essages '''A'''nd '''N'''udie]] woman pics with Chris on [[Facebook]]. This relationship truly highlighted how [[naïve]] Chris was and how willing he was to cheat on his sweetheart to get some [[china]]. Aside from this, she's been much too preoccupied with her [[Work|celebrity life]] to really care about Chris.

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===[[Faeryn]]===
[[File:Chris2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Faeryn "Hambeast"''' was an obese woman who Chris met at [[List of restaurants#Applebee's|Applebee's]] through Kim Wilson. Their time was short due to a mutual lack of interest in [[Obesity|fat, unattractive,]] [[Chris and health#Hygiene|and disgusting]] people.

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===[[Kacey]]===
[[File:Kacey2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
When [[Liquid Chris]] made his appearance, Chris fought valiantly to prove his identity. When Chris discovered that Liquid had a girlfriend named '''Kacey Devoria''', he attempted to win her over by impersonating Liquid in a few calls, with the assumption being that, as the TRUE and HONEST Chris, she should be ''his'' girlfriend. When Liquid made his comeback months later, Chris would successfully win Kacey over. During their relationship, Kacey would encourage him to eat healthier, clean up his room and throw out things he didn’t need, and get a job. He would lose her not even weeks later due to a combination of being stood up for a date, [[Father Call|a confrontation with her father]], and [[Sonichu Special 4|a horrific comic]]. Kacey later broke up with Chris and married Liquid.

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===[[Regina e-mails|Regina]]===
[[File:CzechStudent.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Regina Novakova''' was a Czech foreign exchange student studying at [[UVA]] who was interested in buying a ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]] from Chris. Chris, of course, believed she was also trying to pursue a romantic relationship with him. Chris quickly discontinued contact with her, leaving her guitarless.

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==="[[The Wallflower]]"===
[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
According to a set of e-mails that Chris sent to [[Vivian Gee]], on 22 January 2010, Chris had met '''the Wallflower''' at a "Young Adult Social Group". Before her discovery, Chris tried to keep her anonymous, putting her under the screenname '''"Damian Antaria"'''. However, Chris would still use her real name in multiple videos, and had accidentally leaked both the codename, and her likeness in one of his [[Little Big Planet]] levels, causing her to get attention from trolls, and getting doxed in the process. Having learned nothing from the Megan drama, Chris committed extensively to forming a romantic relationship with her despite her insistence that they weren't dating and that she was asexual. Like Megan, she cut all ties with Chris after finding out about his status as a lolcow and what he was saying about her on the internet. Chris feuded with her new boyfriend [[Surfshack Tito]].

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===[[Jackie]]===
[[File:Jackiethumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jacklyn "Jackie" Romy''' was Chris' sweetheart from [[April 2010|April]] to [[October 2010]]. Chris met her on the [[Hook Cafe|HooK Café]].Jackie was less brutal than most of his fake sweethearts, trying to get him to make more positive changes in his life and encouraging him to play less video games. Still, she influenced him to make more videos on the internet and further embarrass himself. He was prodded into doing a voice call with her ex boyfriend [[Lars]], a black man who made miniature boats. Chris (for once) eventually saw through Jackie's trolling and ended the relationship.

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===[[Catherine]]===
[[File:CandC.jpeg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Catherine Sorrentino''' was a sweetheart/troll that Chris pursued in mid-[[2014]], the first woman to troll him after the [[Bob_Chandler#Later_life.2C_poor_health_and_death|death of Bob]], after he found that she was a 97% match on [[OkCupid]] in [[July 2014]]. Catherine saw an opportunity to document our [[TRUE and HONEST]] hero and accepted a [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript|lunch date]] at Applebees. They chatted until Catherine friendzoned Chris in [[September 2014]] for being creepy and generally clingy, which resulted in [[I Love You, Catherine]]. Catherine cut Chris off completely in [[December 2014]].

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===[[DoopieDoOver]]===
[[File:DoopieDoOver.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''DoopieDoOver''' is an artist, animator, and voice actor for the YouTube channel [[Planet Dolan]], and a cohost on the lazycast podcast. While Chris appeared to have thought of her as a potential [[gal pal]] or maybe even someone who was interested in him, she simply saw him as just another [[Financhu Crisis|customer]]. She eventually blocked him and removed him as a patron from her [[Patreon]] after being harassed by [[weens]], as well as being uncomfortable with someone who was struggling financially giving her money. Most importantly of all, she severed ties because Chris was making her uncomfortable personally. Needless to say, Chris did his absolute best to become her knight in shining armor when the [[HarassCWCdirectly|times were dire]] not realizing the main reason was because he was being creepy to her.

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===[[Jessica Quinn|Jessica]]===
[[File:JessicaQuinn.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jessica Quinn''' started as a [[white knight]] in [[2015]]. She stayed on the back burner until a few months after Chris was friendzoned by [[Doopie]] in [[September 2017]]. Jessica and Chris then entered a complicated relationship on [[Facebook]]. She is noted by her fat fetish and encouraging Chris to [[Obesity|gain weight]] to fulfill her fat fantasy. Most of their dating involved talking through Facebook posts, eventually, Chris liked a Tweet from a female complimenting him which caused her to temporarily break up with him. This caused Chris to upload a crying video and [[Barb]] to win her back for Chris. They patched things up after a couple of days and then planned to see the My Little Pony movie that was coming out that [[October 2017|October]]. In early October Chris was encouraged to rejoin [[Kiwi Farms]] and do a Q&A thread with a video shortly afterward. The day after Chris answered questions on video, Quinn's account shut down; she blamed Chris for this, saying that he attracted hackers from Kiwi Farms. This was to be their final breakup and caused him to have his biggest tard rage video since his correspondence with [[Surfshack Tito]]. She tried to re-insert herself in early 2018 but by then Chris was immersed in the Idea Guy Saga and Quinn found herself thwarted by the [[Idea Guys]] themselves.

Jessica Quinn was once thought to serve as the final sweetheart of the Lovequest as Chris had seemed to abandon the quest in [[March 2018]] due to influence from the Idea Guys. Despite this, Chris's search for a sweetheart did not end there.

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===[[Bryanfrogboy|Bryan]]===
[[File:Bryanfrogboy.jpg|thumb|130px|left]]

'''Bryan Shikley''' was the creator of ''Chris Chan: A Prequel Comic'', a comic which would catch Chris's attention in early January of 2018.

Around the time when Chris was being brainwashed into believing he was [[bisexual]] by the [[Idea Guys]], he had been flirting and writing a gay erotica poem of Bryan.

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===Various OCs ([[Cryzel]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Sylvana]], [[Mewtwo]], and [[Pickchu]])===
[[File:OurWedding 9.png|thumb|left|100px]]
Chris's [[polyamorous marriage]] to fictional characters, a belief planted in his mind by the [[Idea Guys]] beginning in [[March 2018]]. This is by far the most bizarre relationship Chris has found himself in. In the past Chris had been strongly opposed to the idea of falling in love with fictional characters, despite him falling in love with [[Meg Griffin]] from [[Family Guy]]. His stance softened as he realized that he might never find a sweetheart in real life; by settling for his own fictional creations, he could end his love quest.
He would first marry Cryzel Rosechu and Magi-Chan Sonichu, before adding Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo into his harem.
This would unfortunately fail to keep Chris satisfied for long; he eventually started a sexual relationship with an [[Barbara Chandler|older woman]] who happened to be boyfriend free.

Chris claims to have updated the polygomous marriage in a [[Jail Letter]], stating that he now consider's [[Helena Fiorenza]]'s OC, Pickchu, to be part of his "harem".

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===[[Tings Tingz]]===
[[File:TingsTingz.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Tings Tingz''' was one of the regular members of the [[white knight]] group [[CWCProtectSquad]].

Chris told [[Tings Tingz]] that his [[polyamorous marriage]] to his [[imaginary friends]] was open and "so you may ship yourself and I together." Tings declined.<ref>[[Tings Tingz DMs#Magi-chan & Cryzel chat]]</ref>

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===[[Jacob Sockness|Jacob]]===
[[File:SocknessCWC.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jacob Sockness''' started out as a hardcore white knight in [[September 2018]] and had a stroke of luck in [[July 2019]] when Chris followed him on [[Twitter]]. Despite Chris's blatant [[homophobia]] during the lovequest, he was [[brainwashed]] into identifying as [[bisexual]] by the Idea Guys in 2018. Jacob, who has been open about his sexual desires for Chris, took things a step further and groomed Chris into warming up to the idea of a relationship by [[Sockness impersonates Magi-Chan|manipulating him using Magi-Chan and the Dimensional Merge]]. Jacob was forced to turn back en route to visit Chris in [[September 2019]], but Chris still kept in contact with Jacob as he was led to believe Jacob is the key to unlocking the Dimensional Merge, stating that they could kiss at some point. Jacob was later friendzoned on 27 November in a Twitter thread by Chris stating that he didn't need to be in a relationship with Jacob in order for the Dimensional Merge to happen and was blocked once and for all in [[August 2020]].

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===[[MKRNightVee]]===
[[File:MeghanRingo.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

Starting off as a white knight in 2019 and eventually turning into an [[enabler]], '''MKRNightVee''' had created a character based off of Nights and the Pokemon Evee, [[NightVee]], taking a cue from [[Sonichu]] being a cross between Sonic and Pikachu. MKR would create fan art and a [[medallion]] for Chris.
She eventually got into contact with Chris via a friend and she would proclaim herself as the “[[CPU|CPU goddess]] of the Nintendo switch”. She grew increasingly possessive towards Chris which led to him eventually cutting her off and leaving the [[The Place|discord server]] they were in together. This would be one of the rare cases where Chris turned down the boyfriend-free girl.

{{clear}}
===[[Annie]]===
[[File:AnnieIkenberry.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Annie Ikenberry''' was a [[Praetor]] member and OnlyFans camgirl that Chris had stated to see as a potential sweetheart.

{{clear}}
===[[Isabella Loretta Janke|Bella]]===
[[File:Bella.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Isabella "Bella" Loretta Janke'''<ref>[[Lonely feelings]]</ref> is an edgelord infamous for her involvement in a call where Chris describes his relationship with his mother in graphic detail, infamous as the leader of the [[Chess Club Chats|TTU Chess Club]], a group which encouraged the bullying and harassment of other students at her university. She roleplayed as the past high-school gal-pal and sweetheart, [[Kellie Andes]] for a period of three and a half months, roleplayed as a Curiosity Stream employee in order to get him to [[Richmond, Virginia]] for a supposed interview about [[autism]], and [[Larry Vaughn]] claimed she had played a part with manipulating Chris during his saga. Bella created an animation for Chris which he narrated. By presenting a genial façade to Chris, she was able to gain a large amount of trust from him. She claimed that Chris has been insistent on booking a room with her at the [[Everfree Northwest]] convention, rather than the [[Suitress]].<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Everfree Love Triangle]]</ref> Bella told the Suitress that Chris would make sexual remarks towards her. Chris was unaware of Bella’s A-logging; she had joked about wanting to get him to kill/harm himself. On top of all of that, Bella already had developed a crush on the Suitress and claimed to want to "steal" her from Chris. Chris trusted Bella enough to admit that he was having an affair with his mother. After the Suitress had leaked a chunk of the resulting call to her friends, Chris was [[Jail_Saga#Arrest|arrested]]. Bella also created fake texts in which he admitted to performing BDSM-style sex on [[Barb]].

{{clear}}

===[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]===
[[File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
It seems that after all these years, the sweetheart Chris sought after was right in front of him all along, laying amidst the heaps of trash and [[List of toys|toys]] within [[14 Branchland Court]]. But we, the people of [[1218]], would never let them [[Affair with Mother|be together]], and so [[Jerkops|the authorities]] tragically took them away from each other, with Chris being [[Jail Saga|locked up]] and '''Barb''' being left to sulk in her chamber, both lonely and heartbroken...

Despite this, Chris would also meet one more woman who actually ''wanted'' to get it on with Chris. In a cruel twist of fate, she would end up exposing Chris's incest with his mother.

{{clear}}

==="[[The Suitress]]"===
[[File:AHiddenSuitress.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
A young autistic woman who Chris declared as his "first real sweetheart"<ref>[[Bella and Suitress chats#Discussion of Incest Call]]</ref>, and possibly the youngest candidate to date. Incredibly, she had formed a genuine crush on Chris. This woman, codenamed in the CWCki as "'''The Suitress'''", was in contact with Chris by [[July 2021|mid-July 2021]] and [[Suitress Facetime Videos|the two made video calls]] including one in which they simulated kissing each other. The Suitress recounted an instance of Chris being turned on by her when she exposed herself to him. Chris agreed to have sex with her claiming that doing so would improve her "mental and emotional development". Like with the [[Wallflower]], Chris tried to keep the Suitress anonymous with most people he contacted, referring to her as '''"Fifi Vixenhart"'''. Chris sent both her and Bella an invite to the [[Knights of CWC]] Discord Server run by [[The WCT]], and the Suitress and Bella got in contact over DMs. On 27 July, Bella recorded the [[incest call]] and sent a nine minute version of it to Suitress the following day. The Suitress was the one who initiated leaks of this call, first sharing a further edited four minute version of the call, then the full nine minutes, ultimately leading to Chris getting put in jail after concerned observers reported on this activity.

{{clear}}
{{References}}


==See Also==
*[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]
{{Love Quest}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Template:Sagastext

2023-08-25T23:20:07Z

Sandubadear:

'''Meta:''' [[Love Quest]] • [[Transgender]] • [[Chris and business|Business]] • [[Financhu Crisis]] • [[Chris and coping|Roleplay]] • [[Dimensional Merge]]

----

'''Pre-Christory:''' {{saga|childhood|cn}} • {{saga|greene|cn}} • {{saga|bearstein|cn}} • {{saga|highschool|cn}}

'''Early Adult Chronicles:''' {{saga|pvcc|cn}} • {{saga|megan|cn}} • {{saga|stackhouse|cn}}

'''Classic Chris:''' {{saga|ed|cn}} • {{saga|blanca|cn}} • {{saga|gameplace|cn}} • {{saga|hill|cn}} • {{saga|clyde|cn}} • {{saga|panda|cn}} • {{saga|miyamoto|cn}} • {{saga|julie|cn}} • {{saga|ps3|cn}} • {{saga|emily|cn}} • {{saga|ivy|cn}} • {{saga|vanessa|cn}} • {{saga|cwcipedia|cn}} • {{saga|liquid|cn}} • {{saga|asperchu|cn}} • {{saga|tito|cn}}

'''Dark Ages:''' {{saga|firstexile|cn}} • {{saga|jackie|cn}} • {{saga|callingout|cn}} • {{saga|secondexile|cn}}

'''Renaissance:''' {{saga|catherine|cn}} • '''[[Template:SonicBoomSaga|<span style = "color:#000080">Sonic Boom</span>]]''' • {{saga|lady|cn}} • {{saga|pmurt|cn}} • {{saga|doopie|cn}} • {{saga|quinn|cn}}

'''Transcendental Awakening:''' {{saga|ideaguy|cn}} • {{saga|prequel|cn}} • {{saga|guarddog|cn}} • {{saga|tts|cn}} • {{saga|gopony|cn}} • {{saga|jacob|cn}}

'''The Rise:''' '''[[template:CopitzSaga|<span style = "color:#e91e63">Copitz</span>]]''' • {{saga|tf2|cn}} • {{saga|shipfic|cn}} • {{saga|watchmen|cn}} • {{saga|praetor|cn}} • {{saga|warhol|cn}} • {{saga|incest|cn}}

'''The Silent Years:''' {{saga|jail|cn}} • '''[[Template:PostJailSaga|<span style = "color:#64a5af">Third Exile</span>]]'''

Christian Weston Chandler

2023-08-22T02:33:54Z

Sandubadear:

:''This article is about Chris himself... it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]].<br>''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''
{{Transgender|MTF}}
{{Unreliable|type=cred|Chris is a [[List of Chris's lies|habitual liar]].|Chris will often exaggerate things that happened, often to [[Chris and his ego|make himself look better]].|Chris is considerably [[naïve]].|Chris's accounts on how a certain event went down will often vary with each time he recalls it.}}
{{Unreliable|type=sock}}
{{Honest}}

{{Infobox Person
| title = Christian Weston Chandler
| image = 0773-CWC23.JPG
| size = 350
| name = Christopher Weston Chandler (1982–[[Christopher's name change|1992]]) <br> Christian Weston Chandler ([[Christopher's name change|1992]]–2016) <br> Christine Weston Chandler (2016–present)
| aliases = Chris-Chan<br>Chris Chan<br>CWC<br>[[Bob Chandler|Little C]]<br>[[Spanish|Ricardo]]<br>[[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|RWC]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Father]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Pop]]<br> [[Rosechu (character)|Papa]]<br>[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]<br>[[Liquid Chris|Solid Chris]]<br>[[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]]<br>Little Cuz<br>[[Carlos Chantor]]<br>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]]<ref>[[:File:Kookydash.png]]</ref><br>[[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]]<br>[[Facebook|Tini]]<br>[[CWCki Forums|paintingatree]]<br>[[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|Stephanie Bustcakes]]<br>[[Night Star]]<br>[[CPU Blue Heart]]<br>[[CWC Psychlight]]<br>[[Kiwi Farms|LegendaryChristorian]]<br>[[CWCki Forums|OPL (Our Pet Lolcow)]]<br>[[Internet Dream Lounge|Natalie Portman]]<br>[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Grandma Christine]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Mother]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Mama]]<br>[[:File:Princess Fehuni Hitikara TSSSF.jpg|Princess Fehuni Hitikara]]<br>[[Spirit possession|Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|Jesus Christ]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|Camera #000]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (RadioRabbit0)|Christine Chan Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Communications|Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 9 December 2021|Jesus Christ Chan]]<br>[[Jail Call - 13 January 2022|Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu]]<br>The Teflon Tard<br>[[:File:PSN profile change 12 August 2023.png|Christ Chan Prime]]
|month=2
|day=24
|gender=[[JERKS|Male]] (1982–2016)<br>[[Transgender|Transwoman]] (2016–present)
|nation=[[United States|American]]
|religion="[[Chris and religion|Neo Spiritual Christianity]]"
|race=White (1/8<sup>th</sup> "[[Cherokian]]")
|label8=Height
|ft=5
|in=10
|heightsrc=<ref name=16novletter>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref>
|lb=203
|weightsrc=<ref name=16novletter></ref>
|father = [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927–2011)
|mother = [[Barbara Chandler]] (1941–present)
|siblings = [[Cole Smithey]] (half-brother)<br>[[David Alan Chandler]] (half-brother)<br>[[Carol Chandler]] (half-sister)
|education = [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (AAS, [[CADD]])
|occupation = Freelance comic book artist ([[Lulu|self-published]])<br>Video game designer (unpublished)<br>[[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]])<br>[[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]])<br>[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Musician]] ([[2003]]-[[2009]])<br>[[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid)<br>Entrepreneur, [[Chris and business|Cwcville Shopping]] ([[2014]]–[[2016]])<br>[[Stephanie Bustcakes|Prostitute]] ([[2016]], unpaid)
|spouse = [[Cryzel Rosechu]], [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]] (m. March 2018) <br> [[Sylvana]] Rosechu, [[Mewtwo]] (m. June 2018) <br> and [[Pickchu]] (m. May 2022)<ref>[[:File:Miss Cherry asks Chris about his marriages.png]]</ref>
|titles = Sonichu Creator<br>Chronicler of Sonichu & Rosechu<br>[[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddess]] of the Nations of [[Cwcville]], Comma, and the [[Commodore 64|Commodore Consoles]]<ref>https://archive.fo/v5aVW</ref><br>The Queen of Modern Laughter<ref>[[Internet Dream Lounge#Outro .281:12:27-1:16:25.29]]</ref><br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|The Real Player One]]<br>

}}

{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[Autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[Megan Schroeder|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with paranoia, [[Kacey Call 1|deception]], [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|blackmail]] and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], AKA Chris.<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#We've been found AND mocked horribly! :(]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Behold, the Mistake of God!|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] on Chris.}}

'''Christine Weston Chandler''', formerly '''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born: '''Christopher Weston Chandler'''; 24 February [[1982]]) is a {{Age|1982|2|24}}-year-old [[Autism|autistic]], [[Chris and mental healthcare|mentally ill]]<ref>Confirmed by placement in the [[Therapeutic Docket]].</ref> [[JERKS|misandrist]], [[Women's rights|misogynist]], former [[virgin with rage]], self-proclaimed [[CPU Blue Heart|deity]], and [[Affair with Mother|accused sex offender]]. He is commonly referred to by his nickname '''Chris-Chan''' (properly spelled with a hyphen, though this is often omitted), by his initials '''CWC''', or simply the gender-neutral '''Chris'''. He looks kind of like a cartoon version of {{w|Benjamin Franklin}} come to life, and is considered to be one of the most well-known and well-documented lolcows in internet culture – if not one of the most well-documented people in history.

Some would consider Chris to be a celebrity, but he hasn't sold a multi-platinum [[Chris and music|album]], nor has he been awarded with an [[Chris and cinematography|Oscar]]. Instead, he is the [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', which ostensibly tells the story of an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and his [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] and their adventures with the [[Chaotic Combo]]. In practice, the webcomic really serves as [[Chris and coping#Power fantasies|wish fulfillment]] for Chris himself, allowing him to express his dissatisfaction with how [[Mary Lee Walsh|the faculty at school and college]] didn't acknowledge [[Honor roll|what he saw as an exemplary academic performance]] [[Count Graduon|when he graduated]], along with his frustration over [[Love Quest|being unable to find a romantic partner]]; as such, the book let him redirect his [[Chris and anger|anger]] toward [[Jerkop|the people who]] [[Manajerks|impeded his journey]], casting them as villains and himself as [[List of unheroic protagonist actions|a true Campbellian hero]] in his narrative. After completing his education, Chris was unemployed for most of his adult life, making a living off of [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] and [[Patreon|donations]] from his webcomic's [[True and Loyal Fanbase]].

In late [[2007]], he became [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]-famous when images of him at [[The GAMe PLACe|a tabletop gaming store]] leaked out to the {{w|Something Awful}} message boards. Upon discovery, Chris was mocked for his [[Chris and fashion|odd fashion sense]] and [[Obesity|oafish appearance]], and images of Chris at the store soon spread to places like [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and in the process, many [[trolls]] were exposed to his webcomic for the first time, propelling Chris to stardom. Initial fascination was spurred on by his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]], his signature homemade [[Medallions|Sonichu medallion]] that he wore in public, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[Attraction Sign|sign]] asking women to talk to him. [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|His reaction to the ensuing mockery]] led to a cycle of [[Honest Content|Chris revealing more disturbing facts about himself]] and [[Chris and manipulation|trolls going to greater and greater lengths to uncover more knowledge about this strange individual]]. Thus, Chris's life began to spiral out of control with the advent of organized trolling, [[Chris and...|armchair psychological analysis]] from bewildered onlookers, and some truly bizarre antics from Chris that continue to this day, which would influence the development of the webcomic whenever he got around to updating it.

Chris's most notable period of activity on the internet occurred between 2007 and 2010 – a period now dubbed [[Saga#Classic Chris Era (27 October 2007 to 20 March 2010)|the "Classic Era"]] by modern Christorians – in which he was repeatedly catfished by trolls pretending to be [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|romantic interests]], and he lashed out against arch-enemy [[Clyde Cash]], the leader of the most notable group of trolls in his life: [[Trolls#The Miscreants|The Miscreants]]. In this time, [[Julie Reveals Herself|he was duped by]] [[BlueSpike|a sadistic 13-year-old]] [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|into stuffing his medallion up his ass]], [[Liquid Chris|he had his identity stolen by a far more talented individual]], [[Asperchu|and he had ''Sonichu'' mercilessly spoofed by a webcomic team that designed a story to piss him off]], among other misadventures. However, he eventually decided to sign off from the Internet at the end of this period, seemingly wising up to his dang dirty trolls. When he inevitably returned to the limelight a few months later in 2011, he was not the same. [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris began to experiment with crossdressing, calling himself a "Tomgirl"]], before eventually coming out as [[transgender]] in late 2014.

From here, Chris's internet life stayed relatively normal (by his standards), despite his shift in gender identity, his father's death (which led to the retirement of the Miscreants), [[28 October 2011|a hit-and-run case]], [[2014 house fire|the accident that caused his house to burn down]], and [[26 December 2014|an incident where he maced an employee at a GameStop store]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|over the color of Sonic's arms]]. Things changed when two new sets of trolls – known as the [[Idea Guys]] and the [[Teen Troon Squad]] – [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwashed]] him with increasingly-insane beliefs (such as the idea that he and both of his parents are [[Sonichu (species)|half-Sonichu]] or [[Rosechu (species)|half-Rosechu]]), culminating in [[Chris and reality|Chris's revelation]] that he was [[CPU Blue Heart|a goddess]] meant to bring about [[Dimensional Merge|a convergence of dimensions]] between [[Dimensions#C-197|the world shown in his webcomic]] and our world, effectively starting a doomsday cult around what started as a silly, self-indulgent ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'' crossover. Afterward, Chris used [[Messiah complex|this delusion]] as an elaborate [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanism while he continued his self-destructive habits.

Despite the trolls in question being driven out by the effort of the [[Guard Dogs]] trying to keep Chris from going further down a path of ruination (and to keep him from embarrassing himself any more), Chris chose to keep clinging to these unhealthy and downright absurd beliefs. All the while, Chris's [[Chris and health|physical]] and [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental health]] withered away, and [[Financhu Crisis|money became a serious issue for the Chandler household]], while Chris's mother isn't long for this world, all of which led Chris to retreat even further into his fantasies. It got to the point where [[Spirit possession|he pretended to be possessed by various fictional characters]] on a regular basis, with one nearly year-long period of "possession" by Sonichu serving as a way for Chris to cope with the fact that he wasn't able to attend [[BABSCon|two ''My Little Pony'' conventions]] that had been cancelled during the [[COVID-19]] pandemic. The point of no return was finally crossed in [[2021]], after the [[Incest Call]] revealed that [[Affair with Mother|he had several incestuous encounters with his mother]], which forcibly evicted him from [[14 Branchland Court|his own home]] and sent him to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]], which became his most publicized incident in years. During that time, [[Jail Communications|letters from jail]] illustrate that he went even deeper into his own fantasies by believing himself to be {{w|Jesus|Jesus Christ}} reincarnated. Chris was later transferred to the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution for three months before returning to jail, until he was released in [[March 2023]].

There has never been an internet personality quite like Chris-Chan, thanks to the unique circumstances shaping his peculiar behavior and subsequently leading to his prominence online, and there may never be another quite like him – he is truly one of a kind. It is the dedicated mission of [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to chronicle his life in ridiculous detail, and if you want to go down the seemingly bottomless rabbit hole with us, then you should probably start by reading this page. Buckle up, because this is going to be a long ride, and the end is nowhere in sight.

==Overview==
{{Protip|The CWCki has opted to use masculine pronouns to describe Chris, even post-transition, for the purpose of keeping consistent with records from before 2014 and not causing additional confusion for readers.

Be aware that not all Christorians accept this approach, with some opting to describe Chris exclusively with feminine pronouns after Chris identified as a transwoman, and others compromising by using gender-neutral pronouns, or pronouns applicable to various points in Chris's life reflecting Chris's gender identity at the time.

Chris's legal name is currently Christine, but the nickname Chris is gender-neutral and can abbreviate every full name Chris has identified by. Chris has accepted it as a nickname despite formerly objecting to it post-transition.

In any case, Chris is legally registered as female and has taken hormones to transition, but has not undergone gender reassignment surgery, and most likely never will.}}

{{quote|He seems intelligent enough to understand that he does not understand, and that is the hardest part of all.|An anonymous [[University of Virginia]] student making an observation about Chris.<ref>
[https://thereisbeautyin.livejournal.com/4791.html "glass house"], a post from LiveJournal user thereisbeautyin.</ref>}}

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]
[[File:Chris BronyCon18 with Sonichu.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris in [[July 2018]], posing with a fan cosplaying as Sonichu at [[BronyCon]].]]

Chris is a timid, autistic, self-identified [[Transgender|transwoman]] with delusional tendencies who has been allowed – by his parents, [[Barbara Chandler]] and the deceased [[Bob Chandler]] – to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Even into his forties, Chris remains so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to societal norms. He has regularly demonstrated trouble displaying acceptable [[Love Quest|public]] [[Chris and the law|behavior]], recognizing when he needs to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the washroom]], and using his time to [[Sonic Boom Protests|contribute]] [[Dimensional Merge|to]] [[Twitter|society]] in any meaningful way. Although the public school system forced Chris to face [[reality]], graduation has allowed him to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities, opting instead to stick to the comfort of living at home and subsisting off of taxpayer dollars. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris hasn't held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] [[Wendy's|since 2001]] (commissions and multi-level marketing aside), and he hasn't been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. It is likely Chris will never get a job again thanks to Patreon, the tugboat, the <s>begging</s> generous donations, and the fact he has flat out said his autism prevents him from getting a job (in spite of there being many social services available to help people with disabilities find work). Chris has had shockingly few meaningful relationships with people in a social setting outside of his parents, although he does manage to make friends with people who share his interests in nerd and LGBT culture<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Perspective on Chris's social life]]</ref>.

[[File:SympathyForChris.png|thumb|left|An approximate graph which correlates knowledge about Chris to sympathy towards him.]]

Chris is completely obsessed with his OC and the associated comic, to the point that he has hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in Sonichu's shape. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation; the medallion disappeared for a time, but returned in [[September 2010]]. At the same time, he was absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making ''Sonichu'' games is that they're either tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working for them. For a while, Chris had operated an eBay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for $30 apiece. After the eBay shop became a mild success, he moved to Etsy, but his laziness got the best of him and he lost the shop after nine months in business, due to failing to fulfill orders.

Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stared at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; throughout his early Internet history, he appeared to be deeply insecure about his gender and sexuality. Even prior to his gender transition, he has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|worn a bra]], and only reined in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly crossdress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproved. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgments on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> His homophobia did not extend to lesbians, whom he is aroused by. Over time, Chris dropped his homophobic tendencies, [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|apologized in 2015]] and supports what he calls the [[SLGBTQ]] spectrum. In [[2018]], the [[Idea Guys]] [[brainwashed]] Chris into identifying as bisexual.

His adult life has been largely defined by his goals of developing ''Sonichu'' into a hit media franchise to find financial success (or at least get his [[debt]]s under control), his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]," and, beginning from 2011, his gender identity as a [[tomgirl]] and later a lesbian transwoman. Later, Chris developed a [[Messiah complex]], believing himself to be [[Chris and religion|a reincarnation of Jesus Christ]] that is destined to facilitate a [[Dimensional Merge]] between fiction and reality.

==Aliases==
{{quote|Call me by the real name that [[Chris and religion|God]] [[Christopher's name change|and the bear]] has given me throughout my whole life. The current full name of Christian Weston Chandler, my first name being Christopher and my Spanish nickname being Ricardo. But in the end, just call me the full name, Christian Weston Chandler.|[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Chris making demands of]] [[Liquid Chris|his impostor]], years before legally changing his name to "Christine".}}

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|left|Chris's self-portrait, complete with [[The Classic]] and [[Medallions#Sonichu Medallion|the Sonichu Medallion]], circa 2007. {{w|Ozymandias|"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"}}]]
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|right|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's hand-drawn representation of himself.]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]" that misheard his name, which he interpreted as a sign from God. During the mid-2000s, Chris adopted the nickname "Chris-Chan", a play on his surname and the {{w|Japanese honorifics#Chan|Japanese honorific suffix ''-chan''}}, which according to Wikipedia "is used for young children, close friends, babies, grandparents and sometimes female adolescents". Chris was exposed to this honorific through [[anime]] shows like ''{{w|Crayon Shin-chan}}'' and ''{{w|Super Milk Chan}}''. The name "Chris-Chan" is often mistakenly spelled without a hyphen as "Chris Chan", as if Chris had named himself after {{w|Jackie Chan}}. [[Autism|Unusually]], before his gender transition Chris would often refer to himself by his full name, or if he was feeling especially formal as "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is [[Chris and his ego|unusually proud]] of his initials "CWC", and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick". Examples include [[CWCville]], [[A CWC Audition]] and [[CWC Dare]].

Shortly after declaring himself a [[transgender]] lesbian, Chris started introducing himself as "Christine". In May 2016, he successfully filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler".<ref>[[:File:Court Record - 2016 Name Change from Christian to Christine (Chris, CL16000067-00).png]]</ref> He then followed up by filing to alter the description for sex on his driver's license to female.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref> He now signs his name with "heart i's". Legal documents refer to him as Christine Chandler,<ref>[[:File:Trespass case 2018.png]]</ref> except for civil cases, in which he hadn't updated his name change information with plaintiffs.<ref>[[:Image:Court Record - 2019 Midland Funding Debt Case, Garnishment (Chris, GV18000451-01).png]]</ref> [[CWCki|This wiki]], however, refers to him as Chris for consistency.

[[File:Cwc bronycon 2017 1.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Chris first identified by the name Christine in late 2014 before getting a legal name-change in 2016.]]

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and long after then he would still translate his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't replace your own name with something completely different when speaking in another language. At times he would go so far as to announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to identify himself precisely. In recent times, Chris has forgone stating his middle name, former names, and Spanish nickname in videos; now he usually leads with just "Christine Chandler". (Chris has never come up with a feminine counterpart to his "Ricardo" nickname, or any other Spanish-sounding replacement.)

Occasionally, Chris would use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. As Chris grew even more unhinged in 2017 and fell under the [[Idea Guys]]'s sway in 2018, he would conflate himself even further with his fantastic inventions to the point where he unofficially added "Sonichu" to the end of his name (although this is not recognized as a legal name change, unlike "Christian" or "Christine" in previous years), to account for his later belief that he is actually half-Sonichu in real life following several rounds of brainwashing. Other modern names for himself include [[CPU Blue Heart]] and [[Night Star]], his self-inserts for the ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'' and ''[[My Little Pony]]'' franchises respectively. In contexts when he wants to be especially grandiose, he might append his various fictional alter egos to his name, much as he would list his former names in the past.

Only a few of the names commonly used to refer to Chris were not invented by Chris himself. One of the most notable ones is "Chrissy", popularized by [[YouTube#Fan archives and leaks|Arjen Van Dierten]] oddly enough, trying to mockingly feminize Chris's name seemed to predict his eventual interest in crossdressing and later interest in becoming transgender. [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], which was derived from Chris's IBAChandler [[YouTube]] account, was popularized by [[Liquid Chris]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|much to Chris's angst]]. Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of [[Metal Gear|a certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent on Earth". Users of [[Kiwi Farms]] have coined the term "Classic Chris" to refer to Chris before Bob's death and/or before the [[Tomgirl Saga]], with "Modern Chris" being used to describe his more recent antics.

==Foundational Era==
{{quote|The most important parting words I can leave you with - well, are to always remember this. You show people where your [[Kick the Autistic|weak points]] are located, then [[Trolls|they]] will know how to [[Chris and anger|push your button]]. If you never show them, they will never know.|[[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]] giving Chris valuable advice that he, unfortunately, did not follow.}}

Christopher Weston Chandler was born on 24 February 1982 at {{w|Martha Jefferson Hospital}} in [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]].<ref name="WikiProfile">[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref> His parents, [[Borb|Robert and Barbara]], worked as a engineer at Western Electric (later General Electric) and a office worker at Virginia Power, respectively. Although little is known about Chris's toddler years, the [[Autism papers]] revealed that he was delayed in his language ability, which became his first sign of [[autism]].

===Childhood and Adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan... in a {{w|Pogs|pog}} form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true – the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a toy room at an early age after turning all the lights off, an event he described as being intensely traumatic for him.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> (Chris apparently missed the irony of the fact that he regularly locked himself in a room, surrounded by toys, for much of his adult life.) He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism (which is wishful thinking on Chris's part, considering that autism is a genetic condition that isn't triggered by external trauma). Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed with high-functioning autism, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> However, Chris was able to meet these cognitive milestones in time.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl – if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance). In [[1992]], noted ursine conductor [[Leonard Bearstein]] misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to the general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has also led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].
</gallery></center>
<br>
{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
Image:0505-ChristianWLlamma.jpg
</gallery>}}
<br>
[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[Semen|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pal]]s" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu, the latter of which was created for a class project simply because he couldn't use [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted characters]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20161008083333/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> (The irony that Chris's own solution to that problem was to merge two copyrighted characters into a new character is somehow still lost on him, even to this day.) After inventing his ''magnum opus'' with the character of Sonichu, Chris began to incorporate his [[OCs|original character]] into everything that he could, although his passion for his character wouldn't truly surface until college.

Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris became despondent and stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" despite his autism, ignoring the likelihood that the artistic achievements of his peers were simply better. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult, a phase of his life that his parents had not properly prepared him for.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any other aspect of his life, and has unfortunately even regressed in several key areas as he gets older. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him. [[Chris and nostalgia|Chris still pines for "better days"]] in spite of his current belief system hypothetically leaving him in a better place than he ever was in high school. As you might imagine, this is precisely because things didn't get much better for Chris after finishing school.
<br>
{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning artwork
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight – look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would-be thieves.
</gallery>}}
<br>

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref>
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

After college and completing his education, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]]. He would not make any serious attempts to seek out a career from graduation onward, in spite of attaining a degree that could probably net him a decent-paying (and relatively undemanding) career that would likely grant him more opportunities than sitting at home playing video games ever could.

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her (a habit that got so bad that [[Megan emails, 2005-2006#Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals|Megan later equated it to sexual harassment]]).

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue, the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures. Little would Chris know, however, that his life was about to permanently change as a result writing and drawing of his magnum opus.

==Classic Era==
{{main|2007|2008|2009|2010}}

{{quote|You've wasted your life. You've wasted your life and you think you're good enough to date anyone, including me? I mean, you're frickin' weak-willed, you're not even good enough for society. You- I don't think you're ever gonna get anything, you can't fight for what you want... I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna live my life and you know what, you're gonna be doing the same thing in five years. If you're not dead.|[[Kacey]], accurately predicting how stagnant Chris's life would be after [[The End For Real (Kacey call)|breaking up with him]].}}

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]. He was duped into wearing his mom's underwear by [[Blanca Weiss]].]]
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author. He was also discovered on 26 October 2007 by the website SomethingAwful, when a user derailed an unrelated conversation and wrote their personal account of Chris. A thread on Chris and Sonichu was created the next day.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071107074539/http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2667671&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1</ref> Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in November 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then, and shockingly enough, Chris himself shoulders some of the blame for why that is.

Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself finger-banging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time, giving the trolls justification to continue their war against Chris in the process. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]], making [[April 16 Fetish Vids|fetish videos]] for [[Ivy]].]]

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], ironically guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would, in turn, encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses [[Honest Content|where he would reveal more information about himself]].

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of lulz. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general, opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or [[A-Logging|obnoxious and tiring]] to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals, and that any and all trolls were a vocal minority on his way to fame and fortune. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the ''[[Asperchu]]'' Saga. All the while, the editors and administrators working at Encyclopedia Dramatica and the CWCki maintained a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris could not get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: that his internet presence and the toxic cycle of exposing something about himself, getting exploited or otherwise made fun of by trolls, and reacting poorly to said trolling was having a detrimental effect upon his mental health and social life, with every new video that he created exasperating the problem. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s. For a time, it looked like Chris was learning from his experiences and was making an effort to improve his own lot in life.

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. It initially appeared that Chris was making a positive lifestyle change, but alas, it was quickly discovered that his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he announced retirement from social media. Instead of investing his time into more productive activities or improving on his social skills, Chris spent much more time playing video games and otherwise doing what he had been doing when he did engage with trolls. In a predictable fashion, he ultimately forgot anything that he might have learned from his experiences of [[Kick the Autistic|being one of the internet's biggest punching bags]], and he subsequently returned to making new videos starting on [[August 2011]]... Albeit with a pretty big change in how he presented himself online.

==Crossdresser Era==
{{main|2011|2012|2013|2014}}

{{quote|I Seriously Have Been [[Chris and English|PUBLICALY]] INVISIBLE for YEARS! The DAMN Trolling-Stupids have manipulated me; smeared my once good name through the worst mud, muck, and bodily fluids; mentally and emotionally raped me continuously; made the worst imaginable reputation of me on the Internet, AND relayed THAT into OFFLINE LIFE in gossip, rumors, and presidentially grand Fucked-Up Campaigns!!!|[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder|Chris vents on Facebook]] after years of trolling take their toll.}}

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2011]] in one of the first [[Tomgirl Pictures]]. This photo was also taken near the time of his father's death.]]

[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2012]].]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris's life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of crossdressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full-blown crossdresser (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seemed to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia, transphobia, and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and became more extreme in late 2014 and the years that followed. As mentioned previously, Chris would slowly but surely walk back his anti-LGBT stances.

[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2013]].]]

In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 80s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health and declining mentality are considered.

After Bob's death, Chris generally ceased interacting with trolls, seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to. Instead, Chris lapsed into a deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of the family tragedy, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the [[Chris and anger|bellicose]], [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric man-child that the world had come to know and love. For many, it became apparent that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] were over, and several moved on. The Golden Age of Chris-Chan was over.

[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin [[hair]] receding in earnest.]]

[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2015]], cosplaying as [[Vinyl Scratch]], AKA [[My Little Pony|DJ-PON3]].]]

Nonetheless, the surviving Chandlers still managed to be drama magnets in their own neighborhood. In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. (Chris had presumed that the store's new management meant that Snyder may no longer work there, thus giving Chris a chance to potentially revisit his old haunt. When this proved to not be the case, the both Chandlers hit Snyder with a car.) The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer. Much of the money that Bob left behind was used to pay for legal expenses.

While awaiting trial, Chris was worried that he may die a virgin if he were to go to prison, and so looked for ways to have at least one sexual encounter before a worst-case scenario could come to pass. [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true... [[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. Chris reneged on the "true love" part of his [[Love Quest]] and skipped straight to the point, which seemed to satisfy him in the short run but otherwise wasn't a life-changing experience for him. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the law|the law]] and spent less time online than usual.

[[2013]] saw Chris's online presence more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he had left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Walmart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the "stress" taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him – he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.

The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior.

At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when an extension cord leading from the bathroom to a coffee maker in the hallway – which was placed in such a location due to the nature of Barb's compulsive hoarding habits, and had become frayed due to the constant closing of the door – sparked and [[2014 house fire|set the house on fire]].<ref>[[BraveryJerk Interviews]]</ref> While no human was seriously harmed, one of the [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Some of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Bob's huge record collection.

Chris and his mother ran into [[Chris and money|acute]] [[Debt|financial]] [[Financhu Crisis|difficulties]] as a result of the house fire on top of their existing income issues, and Chris had spent most of the year alternating between begging for money and taking commissions to make more of his artwork on Facebook, and selling autographed photos of himself on eBay ([[Trolls|with it being pretty clear who most of his patrons were]]). Despite the severity of the Chandler family's financial issues, Chris chose to blow literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]] instead of working to resolve his debts. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fans]], who purchased these items as a means to keep a roof over Chris's head.

In July, Chris was catfished once more by a new sweetheart named [[Catherine]] after meeting her through [[OKCupid]]. She met up with him in Ruckersville and surreptitiously recorded his conversations. The relationship lasted through the end of the year, and through this process, it was learned that Chris [[Un-clit|pierced his taint]], with other media tied to Chris's life leaking as Catherine and cooperating trolls uncovered more details about his then-current life and mindset.

[[Transgender|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of pickles in general. Chris also took up swanning around attending LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingled with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. Naturally, it was only a matter of time before Chris would make a more serious commitment to his lifestyle change when he officially began to transition.

==Transgender Era==

{{main|2014|2015|2016|2017}}

{{quote|The future shock... Me? Actually a woman? It is a lot to process. But as I recall my past, I remember in high school, my habits and nature were recognized as most feminine. And in comparing it to my experiences with the masculine, I find I actually don't like such brutish things. And looking deep in my heart and soul, [[Chris and gender|I actually find I feel more woman than the male I was born as.]] And the more I open myself to that [[Chris and English|plausible]]... I truly feel more at peace with myself. [[Chris and his ego|I love me.]] '''[[The Incredible Lioness|I am woman! Roar!]]'''|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's fictionalized counterpart]] explaining his philosophy before becoming [[transgender]] in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]].}}

[[File:Happy Birthday, Nathan..mp400001.png|thumb|Chris in [[2016]].]]

In early December 2014, Chris informed those closest to him to start referring him with female pronouns, indicating his desire to go from being a crossdresser to becoming transgender. This era started with a bang when, in December, Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. On top of this, Chris subsequently caused another ruckus at Walmart, just in case you started feeling bad for him after being duped by yet another fake girlfriend. Chris ultimately spent a night in the slammer, and following a lengthy legal process, got off with a $541 fine and a six-month suspended sentence.

More generally, 2015 saw Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon hedgehog]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He indicated in several Facebook posts that he was still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; for some time, he yo-yoed between wanting to remain a crossdresser and wanting to transition into womanhood.

Chris performed the sequels to some of his greatest hits in 2016:

{| class="wikitable"
|Original
|Sequel
|-
|[[Recycling]]
|[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]
|-
|[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]
|[[Lesbian Sex Audition]]
|-
|[[Carlos Chantor]]
|[[Stephanie Bustcakes]]
|-
|[[Un-clit]]
|[[Self-inflicted taint wound]]
|}

[[File:Dailyprogress online cville pride cwc.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2017, donning his [[unicorn cosplay]] at [[Cville Pride]].]]

In addition, Barb was sued by two banks, due to failure to pay over $20,000 of debt, kicking off the [[Financhu Crisis]], in which she and Chris both begged for money like jackasses, while their hoards of things that they could sell were clearly visible behind them. The [[Business]] saga was suspended when Chris was [[Chris and business|banned from Etsy for failing to send orders]]. He continued to [[duck]] responsibility for his inability to put down the [[PS4]] controller long enough to slap together his preschool-level arts and crafts, choosing to blame [[Lulu]] for being "[[Homos|the bugger that bit my ass bad]] and killed my creative groove".

His Oedipal complex veered into disturbing new levels when he freely announced that he [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|dreams about having sex with his mother]]. He also made multiple death threats against political figures [[Donald Trump]] and Mike Pence.

[[File:ChrisandTeenTroonSquad.png|thumb|left|Chris with the Teen Troon Squad in [[2018]].]]

In [[2017]], the Financhu Crisis continued to stress the Chandlers. Chris offered pieces of his late father's stamp collection, the [[Sonic Totem]] and [[The Classic]] for sale in order to afford more toys, a [[$400 gold necklace]] for Barb, and the extremely costly expenses for his [[Stamps#Raffle|raffle prizes]]. He and Barb also continued begging. One of his friends from [[The End Games]] Pokémon Club grew concerned and gave him solid advice on how to apply for work through Virginia's DARS program – and in true Chris fashion, instead of following it, he went on an angry tirade. Later in the year, he was sued for failure to pay a debt to Mariner Finance.

Chris rediscovered Twitter in March. His frequent tweets to voice actresses lead to the [[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] saga – in which he was chastised for calling her [[darling]], but doubled down on it and was subsequently blocked by her – and getting blocked by ''My Little Pony'' VA [[Tabitha St. Germain]] due to her getting constantly tagged by Chris and the [[weens]] orbiting him. He created sockpuppet accounts [[NightStar2891]] to plead his case and [[TwiSparLicious]] to ban-evade, which failed.

He briefly joined the [[Kiwi Farms]] forum under the name LegendaryChristorian and held a Q&A session.

A high point for his social life was attending [[BronyCon]], at which he enjoyed attention from [[fans]]. He also attended LGBT events such as [[UVA Remembers Pulse]] (where he was interviewed on TV), [[Cville Pride]] (where he was photographed by news in crowd shots), and [[Love is Love]].

Chris resumed the [[Business]] saga halfway through the year by going back to work on the [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] comic he had abandoned in 2015, by placing pages behind [[Patreon]]. He also again offered books for sale, self-published by [[Lulu]], was paid to be interviewed by [[Merryweathery]] and [[CopperCab]], and joined [[Redbubble]]. After eight years, he finally completed #11, and moved onto #12, which he completed after a few months. He began work on [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] and [[Sonichu 15|''Sonichu'' #15]], but got distracted. His Patreon efforts also began to languish around October, when patrons complained that he hadn't been sending out books.

Another sweetheart saga took place in the fall. [[Jessica Quinn]], a long-time white knight, suddenly turned troll by pretending she had fallen in love with him. She broke up with him twice, the first time he cried on camera for her to take him back, and the final time, [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|he raged on video against the trolls he thought were to blame]]. He recovered quickly after drowning his sorrows at an ice cream shop.

==Goddess Era==

{{main|2017|2018|2019|2020|2021}}

{{quote|I, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], have tried and kept on and continuing on until that day in the new [[COVID-19|Pandemic-Free]] version of this, the Omega Timeline – 'cause I'm going back in time with this body, after I get back to [[Dimensions#C-197|C-197]] – finally return this body to mama in the new timeline at [[BABSCon]]. I tell you all, as overpowered a soul I am – in my own body that I was used to and accustomed with and everything – I, Sonichu, am unable to do Mama's job as good as only she, our OG Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, of [[Dimensions#1218|Earths 1218]] and C-197, can do. [[Chris and work|This work]], [[Obesity|her body]], [[Chris and mental healthcare|her brain]], [[Chris and reality|her Goddess-level overpowers and abilities]]; [[PsychicPowers|they're all literally tailored and custom-made only for her]]... [[Messiah complex|All praise, prayers, and power to our Goddess of 1218 and C-197: Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu!]]|Chris, [[Spirit possession|pretending to be Sonichu]], [[Goochland Library Sermon|completely going off of the deep end]] while talking about the [[Dimensional Merge]].}}

[[File:CWC 11 February 2019.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris in 2019 with [[Lego|a custom LEGO minifigure]] representing his [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|godsona]], [[CPU Blue Heart]].]]

After [[Heart level|having his heart shattered]] yet again, another troll, the [[Idea Guys|Idea Guy]], began to influence Chris by role-playing as his [[imaginary friends]] and convincing him that he was providing information from [[CWCville]]'s dimension, which Chris accepted out of having his fantasy world validated; along the way, another Idea Guy joined with the first. Together, they used their influence over Chris's beliefs to [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwash Chris into believing several things about himself]], such as the idea that he was [[bisexual]] and half-Sonichu, which ultimately culminated in Chris developing a [[Messiah complex]] derived from [[Dimensions|his own delusions about the nature of reality]] and the lore of ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]''.

[[File:Praetor5.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2020, moments before [[Goochland Library Sermon|giving a sermon]] of the allegedly imminent [[Dimensional Merge]].]]

When it was learned that the Idea Guys were extorting Chris, who was already facing financial difficulties, [[The Captain]] and [[Marvin]] intervened, forcing the Idea Guys out from Chris's life over the course of the subsequent months, however Chris retained much of the Idea Guys' brainwashing. The Captain, Marvin, and [[Null]] a group termed by onlookers as the [[Guard Dogs]], attempted to protect Chris from further bad actors by screening his messages, however, the [[Teen Troon Squad]] managed to evade them by meeting with Chris in person. The Guard Dogs alleged them to have role-played as Chris's imaginary friend [[Magi-Chan]] and Chris's retreated more into his fantasy world while under their enabling influence, although they stopped contacting Chris when they saw what happened to the Idea Guys.

Chris repeatedly denounced the Idea Guys for financially exploiting him, but the damage was done to his psyche: Chris bought into the fantasy that he was a goddess as a new coping mechanism, and his already-shaky grasp on reality hit rock bottom. Chris's new beliefs led him to seek a hippie makeover befitting of his supposed [[PsychicPowers|psychic prowess]], and he retreated further into his fantasies, generally refusing to engage with people who wouldn't entertain them. Chris eventually turned on Null, thanks to the influence of other trolls – chief among them, [[Jacob Sockness]], who sought to sexually exploit Chris. The Guard Dogs realized that there was nothing that they could do for a Chris who refused to listen, and disbanded, but a new group, known as the [[Watchmen]] (who [[Enablers|enabled some of Chris's fantasies]] out of pragmatism), sought to keep Chris from further embarrassing or endangering himself, successfully getting him away from Sockness before he could do any harm to Chris.

Throughout all of this, Chris's belief in the Dimensional Merge has not wavered. When it didn't arrive on the prophesized date of {{w|Jonestown|November 18, 2018}}, Chris did what all doomsday cultists and religious fundamentalists did whenever the apocalypse didn't happen: push it back again and again. Not helping matters was the advent of [[COVID-19]], which Chris saw as a sign of the Dimensional Merge's progress alongside all the other insane crap that happened in the year 2020. For Chris, things really took a turn for the worse when [[BABSCon]] got canceled, and he began an elaborate coping scheme to [[Spirit possession|live-action roleplay as Sonichu]] until he could attend ''[[My Little Pony]]'' conventions again, which will not happen until 2022 at the earliest. Chris spent nearly eleven months pretending to be his [[OCs|original character]], with very few interruptions, before eventually reverting to being himself again on 25 February 2021, [[KwaiiSandbag calls|thanks to the intervention of an enabler]], to personally oppose news about the ''[[My Little Pony]]'' G5 reboot.

During this time, Chris's appearance visibly aged significantly, with his hair turning grey. He's also seemingly lost a bit of weight, not due to improving his diet and leading a less sedentary lifestyle, but due to a decline in muscular mass. This is likely a result of the effects of the hormones that he has applied to treat his gender dysphoria, alongside his declining physical health due to his various poor life decisions. In addition to his existing health problems, he's also [[Chris and drugs|taken up drinking to excess and even smoking weed on occasion]], which both do his so-called "overpowered" goddess body absolutely no favors. Compared to [[Megan Schroeder]], who is four years younger than he is and currently looks pretty close to how she did in photographs with Chris about thirteen years ago, Chris now looks like he could now pass for her aunt or uncle. Chris also continued to be influenced by enablers such as [[Larry Vaughn]], [[KwaiiSandbag]], and [[Praetor]], the last of which is a group that seeks to exploit his infamy for sales revenue. The [[Watchmen]], an enabler/white knight group, splintered following internal conflict among its members.

==Downfall Era==

{{main|2021|2022|2023|Affair with Mother|Jail Saga}}
{{quote|So there you go, chat: the [[Dimensional Merge]] is happening right fucking now! Chris, our boy Chris, bravo! Bravo, brave young man! I guess you could say, uh, that [[Chris and sex#Incest|he really, really came into his own]]. And in case it's not already fucking obvious, [[Jail Saga|Chris is going to jail]]. So we'll see how that works out. Best of luck Chris! [[It's UGH!|Don't drop the soap]], buddy. The world you lived in was just a fantasyland, but [[Chris and reality|reality]]... Reality is [[Affair with Mother|a motherfucker]].|A deepfake of Mister Metokur.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saeC2T4Be8k</ref>}}

[[File:Arrestchu.jpeg|thumb|right|400px|{{w|Capture of Saddam Hussein|"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."}} Chris's arrest at a motel, filmed by fellow lolcow [[Ethan Ralph|Ethan "The Gunt" Ralph]].]]

[[File:2021_Chris_Chan_mugshot_2.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Chris in 2021, anticipating a short stay in the slammer. {{w|Psycho (1960 film)|"Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly!"}}]]

After nearly a decade of a slow downward spiral in nearly all aspects of Chris's life following Bob's death, his future did not look particularly bright. By 2021, Chris had largely reduced his online activities to posting long [[Twitter]] threads of faux-philosophical ramblings reflecting his New Age Retro Hippie mindset, which bordered on being incomprehensible or [[Enablers|esoteric]]. At the same time, the Chandler family's debt steadily rose, largely due to Barb and her son's poor spending habits. In the extremely likely event that Chris outlives Barb, it was speculated that the situation would get worse for Chris with nobody to ground him in reality. Not to mention that Chris was virtually unemployable in any career after years of having every detail about his past leak out to the internet, and he hadn't made a real effort to get a job since his attempt to win [[Kacey]]'s heart, after his short-lived stints working at [[Wendy's|fast food joints]] or in [[Cutco|multi-level marketing]].

However, there was fleetingly a period in which there was a degree of hope for Chris. Chris successfully reconciled with Null, who eventually helped organize a trip for Chris so that he could attend [[Everfree Northwest]], a ''[[My Little Pony]]'' convention, on the condition that [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW|Chris would complete commission work in exchange for his donations]]. Null believed this was a worthy effort to see if he could sustain himself as an adult through self-employment, particularly ahead of Barb's death. Chris actually kept up with these obligations, doing a considerable amount of work compared to previous months of less output. Had he kept his pace up post-convention, and with the right financial guidance, Chris could conceivably keep a roof over his head for at least another year. All seemed relatively normal for Chris as far as the post-Idea Guys status quo went, and some fans anticipated the possibility that Chris, now upset about MLP G5, would do something amusing at the convention as he prepared for the trip, just like old times.

[[File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Chris in [[2022]], returned to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. What nine months behind bars does to [[Chris and sex#Incest|a motherfucker]].]]

What happened next turned everything completely on its head. Chris would not, in fact, be going to Everfree Northwest. He would not be going to any future convention, for that matter, as the point of no return was finally passed after years of online infamy.

[[File:Cwcpaddedcell credit Un Platano.jpg|thumb|right|400px|[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|Chris spent time in protected custody during his jail stay.]] (Unlike this depiction, Barb obviously did not visit Chris due to the restraining order).]]

On 29 July 2021, [[Incest Call|an audio recording of a conversation between Chris and the troll]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] surfaced online, featuring a graphic discussion in which [[Affair with Mother|Chris described sexual acts that he committed with his own mother]] – a felony – over the course of several weeks. While trolls joked about Chris potentially committing incest before, few actually believed that he was capable of acting on those impulses and taking advantage of an elderly (and possibly senile) woman. Once these details got out, nothing would ever be the same: he and Barb were separated by the [[Jerkops|authorities]], he had to vacate his only home due to a week-long protective order, he was very quickly banned from the convention that he'd hoped to attend, and his [[Patreon]] account – one of his few real sources of income – was taken down. Null quickly washed his hands of Chris for good, not only after learning that the audio leak was legitimate, but also when he realized that Chris effectively stole approximately $750 from Barb to [[Toys|fund his stay at a hotel]].

[[File:Chris_mugshot_27_March_2023.png|thumb|left|150px|Chris in [[2023]], at the end of his stay in jail. Note [[Obesity|the weight loss]] compared to his first mugshot and Chris's improved mood compared to his second.]]

Chris was [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrested]] on 1 [[August 2021]], an event which was live-streamed by [[Post-Merge Era|multiple orbiters]]. The incest revelation and the ensuing drama resulted in several people associated with Chris cutting ties with him – such as [[Don Lashomb]], [[The WCT]], and [[the Suitress]]. Other people continue to interact with Chris such as [[Kenneth Engelhardt]], [[Praetor]], [[Helena Fiorenza]], and [[Eels and the Eggman]]. Chris's actions during this time trended on social media, leading less internet-savvy netizens to either discover Chris for the first time or to rediscover him after years of fading into obscurity. The massive social media reaction to the news led to Chris's actions being covered by various news outlets – most notably, a dedicated segment on Fox News, which in turn exposed him to millions of retired, right-wing baby boomers.

Chris spent the next several months in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]] after being arrested by the Henrico County sheriff's department, awaiting a court hearing set for 28 [[July 2022]], following three continuances. While waiting in jail, Chris's [[Messiah complex|delusions of godhood]] have spiraled out of control as he now believes himself to be {{w|Jesus|Jesus of Nazareth}} reincarnated and the [[Dimensional Merge]] to be proceeding entirely as planned. During this time, Chris has kept in touch with the outside world via a multitude of [[Jail Communications]] discussing a variety of subjects, from his jail conditions to [[Chris and religion|his renewed interest in the Bible]] and [[Weening|ween]] attempts to convert him to Islam through reading the Qur'an. These letters and phone calls have also revealed that Chris has been kept in protective custody for his own safety.

Early into [[March 2022]], it was learned that Chris was transferred out of jail into the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution. During this time, Chris was isolated from the outside world; what he was up to while there will most likely remain unknown until his next hearing. He returned to [[CVRJ]] on [[May 2022|3 May 2022]], with a new mugshot taken upon his arrival, showing that Chris looks much more gaunt than before and has lost a substantial amount of weight. Unfortunately, subsequent mail correspondence indicates that his time away from jail has not caused him to face reality, sticking to his fantasies.

On 28 [[July 2022]], only a day before the first anniversary of the leaking of the infamous incest call, Chris finally had his court hearing after three delays. In the process, it was determined that the case would be going before a grand jury for at least one felony incest charge. However, Chris's lawyer filed a motion for autism disorder deferred deposition. Following months of [[CWCki|excessive]] [[Kiwi Farms|online]] [[Orbiter Wave|interest]] in the case, Chris's lawyer eventually managed to convince the court to seal the case on 11 [[August 2022]], with "waive right to indictment" and "transportation order" added to his case file. The exact meaning of these legal maneuvers remains unknown.

After a long period of quiet, 27 [[March 2023]] shocked the internet when it was announced that Chris was released from jail. The exact circumstances leading to Chris's release from incarceration remain unclear at this time, along with the conditions for Chris to remain free. VineLink initially reported that he was bonded out<ref>[[:File:VineLink Out of Custody 27 March 2023.png]]</ref> then updated to say he was released by court order.<ref>[[:File:VineLink Out of Custody 27 March 2023 - 1 49 pm update.png]]</ref> Chris's current place of residence is similarly unclear, with the secrecy possibly being for Chris's own protection, although it is heavily speculated that Chris now resides in a group home. Since his release, [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|Chris has been spotted in public by a few observers]] and on [[PlayStation Network|gaming]] [[Pokémon GO|networks]].

==Future==
{{quote|I'm [[Messiah_complex#Jesus_Reborn|Christ]] Chan Prime|[[PlayStation_Network#Post-jail_activity|Chris's first public words since his release.]]}}

Chris is legally prohibited from living in the same house as Barb<ref>[[Jail Letter - 21 July 2022]]</ref>. If speculation about Chris now residing in a [[Chris's homes#Post-Jail Residence|group home]] turns out to be true, he could conceivably spend the rest of his life there in the event that his Incest case continues dragging on and/or his mental state continues to decline. However, limited access to court details and other legal documentation makes speculating about Chris' legal future difficult. This is also to say nothing of [[Chris and health|his many, many existing issues with mental and physical health]]; both of which will continue to decay and show no sign of recovering anytime soon.

In any case, Chris's story is one that seems fated to [[Chris and Death#Chris himself (1982–)|not have a happy ending]], with his life perhaps serving as a cautionary tale in the age of the internet. A tale of [[Borb|bad parenting]], [[Chris and socialization|social isolation]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|gullibility]], [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and work|laziness]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]], [[Chris and sex|sexual deviancy]], and most importantly, a tale of the world witnessing in real-time the slow, painful degradation of another human being.

==Featured Fan Videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| ytid = DxAhBoYfWy4
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan ~ Ruler of Everything
| ytid = Wul6LgL8FvI
| Stardate = 4 March 2021
| Maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIbrqVkPdL_5qrgjwHYytQg First Son]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] – Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] – Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:Christianchandler]] – Chris's own CWCki account

{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}
{{References}}

==External links==
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the {{w|Internet Movie Database}}

{{Newbie}}
{{Check this out}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}
[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]
[[Category:Chris]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Homos]]
[[Category:Autistic]]
[[Category:LGBT]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2023-08-18T21:09:59Z

Sandubadear:

:''This article is about Chris himself... it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]].<br>''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''
{{Transgender|MTF}}
{{Unreliable|type=cred|Chris is a [[List of Chris's lies|habitual liar]].|Chris will often exaggerate things that happened, often to [[Chris and his ego|make himself look better]].|Chris is considerably [[naïve]].|Chris's accounts on how a certain event went down will often vary with each time he recalls it.}}
{{Unreliable|type=sock}}
{{Honest}}

{{Infobox Person
| title = Christian Weston Chandler
| image = 0773-CWC23.JPG
| size = 350
| name = Christopher Weston Chandler (1982–[[Christopher's name change|1992]]) <br> Christian Weston Chandler ([[Christopher's name change|1992]]–2016) <br> Christine Weston Chandler (2016–present)
| aliases = Chris-Chan<br>Chris Chan<br>CWC<br>[[Bob Chandler|Little C]]<br>[[Spanish|Ricardo]]<br>[[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|RWC]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Father]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Pop]]<br> [[Rosechu (character)|Papa]]<br>[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]<br>[[Liquid Chris|Solid Chris]]<br>[[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]]<br>Little Cuz<br>[[Carlos Chantor]]<br>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]]<ref>[[:File:Kookydash.png]]</ref><br>[[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]]<br>[[Facebook|Tini]]<br>[[CWCki Forums|paintingatree]]<br>[[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|Stephanie Bustcakes]]<br>[[Night Star]]<br>[[CPU Blue Heart]]<br>[[CWC Psychlight]]<br>[[Kiwi Farms|LegendaryChristorian]]<br>[[CWCki Forums|OPL (Our Pet Lolcow)]]<br>[[Internet Dream Lounge|(((Natalie Portman)))]]<br>[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Grandma Christine]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Mother]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Mama]]<br>[[:File:Princess Fehuni Hitikara TSSSF.jpg|Princess Fehuni Hitikara]]<br>[[Spirit possession|Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|Jesus Christ]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|Camera #000]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (RadioRabbit0)|Christine Chan Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Communications|Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 9 December 2021|Jesus Christ Chan]]<br>[[Jail Call - 13 January 2022|Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu]]<br>The Teflon Tard<br>[[:File:PSN profile change 12 August 2023.png|Christ Chan Prime]]
|month=2
|day=24
|gender=[[JERKS|Male]] (1982–2016)<br>[[Transgender|Transwoman]] (2016–present)
|nation=[[United States|American]]
|religion="[[Chris and religion|Neo Spiritual Christianity]]"
|race=White (1/8<sup>th</sup> "[[Cherokian]]")
|label8=Height
|ft=5
|in=10
|heightsrc=<ref name=16novletter>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref>
|lb=203
|weightsrc=<ref name=16novletter></ref>
|father = [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927–2011)
|mother = [[Barbara Chandler]] (1941–present)
|siblings = [[Cole Smithey]] (half-brother)<br>[[David Alan Chandler]] (half-brother)<br>[[Carol Chandler]] (half-sister)
|education = [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (AAS, [[CADD]])
|occupation = Freelance comic book artist ([[Lulu|self-published]])<br>Video game designer (unpublished)<br>[[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]])<br>[[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]])<br>[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Musician]] ([[2003]]-[[2009]])<br>([[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid)<br>Entrepreneur, [[Chris and business|Cwcville Shopping]] ([[2014]]–[[2016]])<br>[[Stephanie Bustcakes|Prostitute]] ([[2016]], unpaid)
|spouse = [[Cryzel Rosechu]], [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]] (m. March 2018) <br> [[Sylvana]] Rosechu, [[Mewtwo]] (m. June 2018) <br> and [[Pickchu]] (m. May 2022)<ref>[[:File:Miss Cherry asks Chris about his marriages.png]]</ref>
|titles = Sonichu Creator<br>Chronicler of Sonichu & Rosechu<br>[[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddess]] of the Nations of [[Cwcville]], Comma, and the [[Commodore 64|Commodore Consoles]]<ref>https://archive.fo/v5aVW</ref><br>The Queen of Modern Laughter<ref>[[Internet Dream Lounge#Outro .281:12:27-1:16:25.29]]</ref><br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|The Real Player One]]<br>

}}

{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[Autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[Megan Schroeder|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with paranoia, [[Kacey Call 1|deception]], [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|blackmail]] and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], AKA Chris.<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#We've been found AND mocked horribly! :(]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Behold, the Mistake of God!|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] on Chris.}}

'''Christine Weston Chandler''', formerly '''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born: '''Christopher Weston Chandler'''; 24 February [[1982]]) is a {{Age|1982|2|24}}-year-old [[Autism|autistic]], [[Chris and mental healthcare|mentally ill]]<ref>Confirmed by placement in the [[Therapeutic Docket]].</ref> [[JERKS|misandrist]], [[Women's rights|misogynist]], former [[virgin with rage]], self-proclaimed [[CPU Blue Heart|deity]], and [[Affair with Mother|accused sex offender]]. He is commonly referred to by his nickname '''Chris-Chan''' (properly spelled with a hyphen, though this is often omitted), by his initials '''CWC''', or simply the gender-neutral '''Chris'''. He looks kind of like a cartoon version of {{w|Benjamin Franklin}} come to life, and is considered to be one of the most well-known and well-documented lolcows in internet culture – if not one of the most well-documented people in history.

Some would consider Chris to be a celebrity, but he hasn't sold a multi-platinum [[Chris and music|album]], nor has he been awarded with an [[Chris and cinematography|Oscar]]. Instead, he is the [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', which ostensibly tells the story of an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and his [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] and their adventures with the [[Chaotic Combo]]. In practice, the webcomic really serves as [[Chris and coping#Power fantasies|wish fulfillment]] for Chris himself, allowing him to express his dissatisfaction with how [[Mary Lee Walsh|the faculty at school and college]] didn't acknowledge [[Honor roll|what he saw as an exemplary academic performance]] [[Count Graduon|when he graduated]], along with his frustration over [[Love Quest|being unable to find a romantic partner]]; as such, the book let him redirect his [[Chris and anger|anger]] toward [[Jerkop|the people who]] [[Manajerks|impeded his journey]], casting them as villains and himself as [[List of unheroic protagonist actions|a true Campbellian hero]] in his narrative. After completing his education, Chris was unemployed for most of his adult life, making a living off of [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] and [[Patreon|donations]] from his webcomic's [[True and Loyal Fanbase]].

In late [[2007]], he became [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]-famous when images of him at [[The GAMe PLACe|a tabletop gaming store]] leaked out to the {{w|Something Awful}} message boards. Upon discovery, Chris was mocked for his [[Chris and fashion|odd fashion sense]] and [[Obesity|oafish appearance]], and images of Chris at the store soon spread to places like [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and in the process, many [[trolls]] were exposed to his webcomic for the first time, propelling Chris to stardom. Initial fascination was spurred on by his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]], his signature homemade [[Medallions|Sonichu medallion]] that he wore in public, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[Attraction Sign|sign]] asking women to talk to him. [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|His reaction to the ensuing mockery]] led to a cycle of [[Honest Content|Chris revealing more disturbing facts about himself]] and [[Chris and manipulation|trolls going to greater and greater lengths to uncover more knowledge about this strange individual]]. Thus, Chris's life began to spiral out of control with the advent of organized trolling, [[Chris and...|armchair psychological analysis]] from bewildered onlookers, and some truly bizarre antics from Chris that continue to this day, which would influence the development of the webcomic whenever he got around to updating it.

Chris's most notable period of activity on the internet occurred between 2007 and 2010 – a period now dubbed [[Saga#Classic Chris Era (27 October 2007 to 20 March 2010)|the "Classic Era"]] by modern Christorians – in which he was repeatedly catfished by trolls pretending to be [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|romantic interests]], and he lashed out against arch-enemy [[Clyde Cash]], the leader of the most notable group of trolls in his life: [[Trolls#The Miscreants|The Miscreants]]. In this time, [[Julie Reveals Herself|he was duped by]] [[BlueSpike|a sadistic 13-year-old]] [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|into stuffing his medallion up his ass]], [[Liquid Chris|he had his identity stolen by a far more talented individual]], [[Asperchu|and he had ''Sonichu'' mercilessly spoofed by a webcomic team that designed a story to piss him off]], among other misadventures. However, he eventually decided to sign off from the Internet at the end of this period, seemingly wising up to his dang dirty trolls. When he inevitably returned to the limelight a few months later in 2011, he was not the same. [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris began to experiment with crossdressing, calling himself a "Tomgirl"]], before eventually coming out as [[transgender]] in late 2014.

From here, Chris's internet life stayed relatively normal (by his standards), despite his shift in gender identity, his father's death (which led to the retirement of the Miscreants), [[28 October 2011|a hit-and-run case]], [[2014 house fire|the accident that caused his house to burn down]], and [[26 December 2014|an incident where he maced an employee at a GameStop store]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|over the color of Sonic's arms]]. Things changed when two new sets of trolls – known as the [[Idea Guys]] and the [[Teen Troon Squad]] – [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwashed]] him with increasingly-insane beliefs (such as the idea that he and both of his parents are [[Sonichu (species)|half-Sonichu]] or [[Rosechu (species)|half-Rosechu]]), culminating in [[Chris and reality|Chris's revelation]] that he was [[CPU Blue Heart|a goddess]] meant to bring about [[Dimensional Merge|a convergence of dimensions]] between [[Dimensions#C-197|the world shown in his webcomic]] and our world, effectively starting a doomsday cult around what started as a silly, self-indulgent ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'' crossover. Afterward, Chris used [[Messiah complex|this delusion]] as an elaborate [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanism while he continued his self-destructive habits.

Despite the trolls in question being driven out by the effort of the [[Guard Dogs]] trying to keep Chris from going further down a path of ruination (and to keep him from embarrassing himself any more), Chris chose to keep clinging to these unhealthy and downright absurd beliefs. All the while, Chris's [[Chris and health|physical]] and [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental health]] withered away, and [[Financhu Crisis|money became a serious issue for the Chandler household]], while Chris's mother isn't long for this world, all of which led Chris to retreat even further into his fantasies. It got to the point where [[Spirit possession|he pretended to be possessed by various fictional characters]] on a regular basis, with one nearly year-long period of "possession" by Sonichu serving as a way for Chris to cope with the fact that he wasn't able to attend [[BABSCon|two ''My Little Pony'' conventions]] that had been cancelled during the [[COVID-19]] pandemic. The point of no return was finally crossed in [[2021]], after the [[Incest Call]] revealed that [[Affair with Mother|he had several incestuous encounters with his mother]], which forcibly evicted him from [[14 Branchland Court|his own home]] and sent him to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]], which became his most publicized incident in years. During that time, [[Jail Communications|letters from jail]] illustrate that he went even deeper into his own fantasies by believing himself to be {{w|Jesus|Jesus Christ}} reincarnated. Chris was later transferred to the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution for three months before returning to jail, until he was released in [[March 2023]].

There has never been an internet personality quite like Chris-Chan, thanks to the unique circumstances shaping his peculiar behavior and subsequently leading to his prominence online, and there may never be another quite like him – he is truly one of a kind. It is the dedicated mission of [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to chronicle his life in ridiculous detail, and if you want to go down the seemingly bottomless rabbit hole with us, then you should probably start by reading this page. Buckle up, because this is going to be a long ride, and the end is nowhere in sight.

==Overview==
{{Protip|The CWCki has opted to use masculine pronouns to describe Chris, even post-transition, for the purpose of keeping consistent with records from before 2014 and not causing additional confusion for readers.

Be aware that not all Christorians accept this approach, with some opting to describe Chris exclusively with feminine pronouns after Chris identified as a transwoman, and others compromising by using gender-neutral pronouns, or pronouns applicable to various points in Chris's life reflecting Chris's gender identity at the time.

Chris's legal name is currently Christine, but the nickname Chris is gender-neutral and can abbreviate every full name Chris has identified by. Chris has accepted it as a nickname despite formerly objecting to it post-transition.

In any case, Chris is legally registered as female and has taken hormones to transition, but has not undergone gender reassignment surgery, and most likely never will.}}

{{quote|He seems intelligent enough to understand that he does not understand, and that is the hardest part of all.|An anonymous [[University of Virginia]] student making an observation about Chris.<ref>
[https://thereisbeautyin.livejournal.com/4791.html "glass house"], a post from LiveJournal user thereisbeautyin.</ref>}}

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]
[[File:Chris BronyCon18 with Sonichu.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris in [[July 2018]], posing with a fan cosplaying as Sonichu at [[BronyCon]].]]

Chris is a timid, autistic, self-identified [[Transgender|transwoman]] with delusional tendencies who has been allowed – by his parents, [[Barbara Chandler]] and the deceased [[Bob Chandler]] – to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Even into his forties, Chris remains so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to societal norms. He has regularly demonstrated trouble displaying acceptable [[Love Quest|public]] [[Chris and the law|behavior]], recognizing when he needs to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the washroom]], and using his time to [[Sonic Boom Protests|contribute]] [[Dimensional Merge|to]] [[Twitter|society]] in any meaningful way. Although the public school system forced Chris to face [[reality]], graduation has allowed him to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities, opting instead to stick to the comfort of living at home and subsisting off of taxpayer dollars. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris hasn't held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] [[Wendy's|since 2001]] (commissions and multi-level marketing aside), and he hasn't been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. It is likely Chris will never get a job again thanks to Patreon, the tugboat, the <s>begging</s> generous donations, and the fact he has flat out said his autism prevents him from getting a job (in spite of there being many social services available to help people with disabilities find work). Chris has had shockingly few meaningful relationships with people in a social setting outside of his parents, although he does manage to make friends with people who share his interests in nerd and LGBT culture<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Perspective on Chris's social life]]</ref>.

[[File:SympathyForChris.png|thumb|left|An approximate graph which correlates knowledge about Chris to sympathy towards him.]]

Chris is completely obsessed with his OC and the associated comic, to the point that he has hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in Sonichu's shape. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation; the medallion disappeared for a time, but returned in [[September 2010]]. At the same time, he was absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making ''Sonichu'' games is that they're either tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working for them. For a while, Chris had operated an eBay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for $30 apiece. After the eBay shop became a mild success, he moved to Etsy, but his laziness got the best of him and he lost the shop after nine months in business, due to failing to fulfill orders.

Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stared at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; throughout his early Internet history, he appeared to be deeply insecure about his gender and sexuality. Even prior to his gender transition, he has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|worn a bra]], and only reined in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly crossdress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproved. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgments on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> His homophobia did not extend to lesbians, whom he is aroused by. Over time, Chris dropped his homophobic tendencies, [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|apologized in 2015]] and supports what he calls the [[SLGBTQ]] spectrum. In [[2018]], the [[Idea Guys]] [[brainwashed]] Chris into identifying as bisexual.

His adult life has been largely defined by his goals of developing ''Sonichu'' into a hit media franchise to find financial success (or at least get his [[debt]]s under control), his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]," and, beginning from 2011, his gender identity as a [[tomgirl]] and later a lesbian transwoman. Later, Chris developed a [[Messiah complex]], believing himself to be [[Chris and religion|a reincarnation of Jesus Christ]] that is destined to facilitate a [[Dimensional Merge]] between fiction and reality.

==Aliases==
{{quote|Call me by the real name that [[Chris and religion|God]] [[Christopher's name change|and the bear]] has given me throughout my whole life. The current full name of Christian Weston Chandler, my first name being Christopher and my Spanish nickname being Ricardo. But in the end, just call me the full name, Christian Weston Chandler.|[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Chris making demands of]] [[Liquid Chris|his impostor]], years before legally changing his name to "Christine".}}

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|left|Chris's self-portrait, complete with [[The Classic]] and [[Medallions#Sonichu Medallion|the Sonichu Medallion]], circa 2007. {{w|Ozymandias|"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"}}]]
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|right|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's hand-drawn representation of himself.]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]" that misheard his name, which he interpreted as a sign from God. During the mid-2000s, Chris adopted the nickname "Chris-Chan", a play on his surname and the {{w|Japanese honorifics#Chan|Japanese honorific suffix ''-chan''}}, which according to Wikipedia "is used for young children, close friends, babies, grandparents and sometimes female adolescents". Chris was exposed to this honorific through [[anime]] shows like ''{{w|Crayon Shin-chan}}'' and ''{{w|Super Milk Chan}}''. The name "Chris-Chan" is often mistakenly spelled without a hyphen as "Chris Chan", as if Chris had named himself after {{w|Jackie Chan}}. [[Autism|Unusually]], before his gender transition Chris would often refer to himself by his full name, or if he was feeling especially formal as "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is [[Chris and his ego|unusually proud]] of his initials "CWC", and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick". Examples include [[CWCville]], [[A CWC Audition]] and [[CWC Dare]].

Shortly after declaring himself a [[transgender]] lesbian, Chris started introducing himself as "Christine". In May 2016, he successfully filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler".<ref>[[:File:Court Record - 2016 Name Change from Christian to Christine (Chris, CL16000067-00).png]]</ref> He then followed up by filing to alter the description for sex on his driver's license to female.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref> He now signs his name with "heart i's". Legal documents refer to him as Christine Chandler,<ref>[[:File:Trespass case 2018.png]]</ref> except for civil cases, in which he hadn't updated his name change information with plaintiffs.<ref>[[:Image:Court Record - 2019 Midland Funding Debt Case, Garnishment (Chris, GV18000451-01).png]]</ref> [[CWCki|This wiki]], however, refers to him as Chris for consistency.

[[File:Cwc bronycon 2017 1.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Chris first identified by the name Christine in late 2014 before getting a legal name-change in 2016.]]

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and long after then he would still translate his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't replace your own name with something completely different when speaking in another language. At times he would go so far as to announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to identify himself precisely. In recent times, Chris has forgone stating his middle name, former names, and Spanish nickname in videos; now he usually leads with just "Christine Chandler". (Chris has never come up with a feminine counterpart to his "Ricardo" nickname, or any other Spanish-sounding replacement.)

Occasionally, Chris would use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. As Chris grew even more unhinged in 2017 and fell under the [[Idea Guys]]'s sway in 2018, he would conflate himself even further with his fantastic inventions to the point where he unofficially added "Sonichu" to the end of his name (although this is not recognized as a legal name change, unlike "Christian" or "Christine" in previous years), to account for his later belief that he is actually half-Sonichu in real life following several rounds of brainwashing. Other modern names for himself include [[CPU Blue Heart]] and [[Night Star]], his self-inserts for the ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'' and ''[[My Little Pony]]'' franchises respectively. In contexts when he wants to be especially grandiose, he might append his various fictional alter egos to his name, much as he would list his former names in the past.

Only a few of the names commonly used to refer to Chris were not invented by Chris himself. One of the most notable ones is "Chrissy", popularized by [[YouTube#Fan archives and leaks|Arjen Van Dierten]] oddly enough, trying to mockingly feminize Chris's name seemed to predict his eventual interest in crossdressing and later interest in becoming transgender. [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], which was derived from Chris's IBAChandler [[YouTube]] account, was popularized by [[Liquid Chris]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|much to Chris's angst]]. Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of [[Metal Gear|a certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent on Earth". Users of [[Kiwi Farms]] have coined the term "Classic Chris" to refer to Chris before Bob's death and/or before the [[Tomgirl Saga]], with "Modern Chris" being used to describe his more recent antics.

==Foundational Era==
{{quote|The most important parting words I can leave you with - well, are to always remember this. You show people where your [[Kick the Autistic|weak points]] are located, then [[Trolls|they]] will know how to [[Chris and anger|push your button]]. If you never show them, they will never know.|[[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]] giving Chris valuable advice that he, unfortunately, did not follow.}}

Christopher Weston Chandler was born on 24 February 1982 at {{w|Martha Jefferson Hospital}} in [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]].<ref name="WikiProfile">[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref> His parents, [[Borb|Robert and Barbara]], worked as a engineer at Western Electric (later General Electric) and a office worker at Virginia Power, respectively. Although little is known about Chris's toddler years, the [[Autism papers]] revealed that he was delayed in his language ability, which became his first sign of [[autism]].

===Childhood and Adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan... in a {{w|Pogs|pog}} form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true – the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a toy room at an early age after turning all the lights off, an event he described as being intensely traumatic for him.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> (Chris apparently missed the irony of the fact that he regularly locked himself in a room, surrounded by toys, for much of his adult life.) He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism (which is wishful thinking on Chris's part, considering that autism is a genetic condition that isn't triggered by external trauma). Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed with high-functioning autism, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> However, Chris was able to meet these cognitive milestones in time.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl – if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance). In [[1992]], noted ursine conductor [[Leonard Bearstein]] misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to the general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has also led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].
</gallery></center>
<br>
{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
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Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
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Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
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Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
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Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
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Image:0505-ChristianWLlamma.jpg
</gallery>}}
<br>
[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[Semen|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pal]]s" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu, the latter of which was created for a class project simply because he couldn't use [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted characters]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20161008083333/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> (The irony that Chris's own solution to that problem was to merge two copyrighted characters into a new character is somehow still lost on him, even to this day.) After inventing his ''magnum opus'' with the character of Sonichu, Chris began to incorporate his [[OCs|original character]] into everything that he could, although his passion for his character wouldn't truly surface until college.

Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris became despondent and stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" despite his autism, ignoring the likelihood that the artistic achievements of his peers were simply better. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult, a phase of his life that his parents had not properly prepared him for.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any other aspect of his life, and has unfortunately even regressed in several key areas as he gets older. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him. [[Chris and nostalgia|Chris still pines for "better days"]] in spite of his current belief system hypothetically leaving him in a better place than he ever was in high school. As you might imagine, this is precisely because things didn't get much better for Chris after finishing school.
<br>
{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning artwork
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight – look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would-be thieves.
</gallery>}}
<br>

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref>
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

After college and completing his education, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]]. He would not make any serious attempts to seek out a career from graduation onward, in spite of attaining a degree that could probably net him a decent-paying (and relatively undemanding) career that would likely grant him more opportunities than sitting at home playing video games ever could.

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her (a habit that got so bad that [[Megan emails, 2005-2006#Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals|Megan later equated it to sexual harassment]]).

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue, the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures. Little would Chris know, however, that his life was about to permanently change as a result writing and drawing of his magnum opus.

==Classic Era==
{{main|2007|2008|2009|2010}}

{{quote|You've wasted your life. You've wasted your life and you think you're good enough to date anyone, including me? I mean, you're frickin' weak-willed, you're not even good enough for society. You- I don't think you're ever gonna get anything, you can't fight for what you want... I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna live my life and you know what, you're gonna be doing the same thing in five years. If you're not dead.|[[Kacey]], accurately predicting how stagnant Chris's life would be after [[The End For Real (Kacey call)|breaking up with him]].}}

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]. He was duped into wearing his mom's underwear by [[Blanca Weiss]].]]
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author. He was also discovered on 26 October 2007 by the website SomethingAwful, when a user derailed an unrelated conversation and wrote their personal account of Chris. A thread on Chris and Sonichu was created the next day.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071107074539/http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2667671&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1</ref> Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in November 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then, and shockingly enough, Chris himself shoulders some of the blame for why that is.

Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself finger-banging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time, giving the trolls justification to continue their war against Chris in the process. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]], making [[April 16 Fetish Vids|fetish videos]] for [[Ivy]].]]

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], ironically guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would, in turn, encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses [[Honest Content|where he would reveal more information about himself]].

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of lulz. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general, opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or [[A-Logging|obnoxious and tiring]] to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals, and that any and all trolls were a vocal minority on his way to fame and fortune. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the ''[[Asperchu]]'' Saga. All the while, the editors and administrators working at Encyclopedia Dramatica and the CWCki maintained a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris could not get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: that his internet presence and the toxic cycle of exposing something about himself, getting exploited or otherwise made fun of by trolls, and reacting poorly to said trolling was having a detrimental effect upon his mental health and social life, with every new video that he created exasperating the problem. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s. For a time, it looked like Chris was learning from his experiences and was making an effort to improve his own lot in life.

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. It initially appeared that Chris was making a positive lifestyle change, but alas, it was quickly discovered that his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he announced retirement from social media. Instead of investing his time into more productive activities or improving on his social skills, Chris spent much more time playing video games and otherwise doing what he had been doing when he did engage with trolls. In a predictable fashion, he ultimately forgot anything that he might have learned from his experiences of [[Kick the Autistic|being one of the internet's biggest punching bags]], and he subsequently returned to making new videos starting on [[August 2011]]... Albeit with a pretty big change in how he presented himself online.

==Crossdresser Era==
{{main|2011|2012|2013|2014}}

{{quote|I Seriously Have Been [[Chris and English|PUBLICALY]] INVISIBLE for YEARS! The DAMN Trolling-Stupids have manipulated me; smeared my once good name through the worst mud, muck, and bodily fluids; mentally and emotionally raped me continuously; made the worst imaginable reputation of me on the Internet, AND relayed THAT into OFFLINE LIFE in gossip, rumors, and presidentially grand Fucked-Up Campaigns!!!|[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder|Chris vents on Facebook]] after years of trolling take their toll.}}

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2011]] in one of the first [[Tomgirl Pictures]]. This photo was also taken near the time of his father's death.]]

[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2012]].]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris's life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of crossdressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full-blown crossdresser (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seemed to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia, transphobia, and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and became more extreme in late 2014 and the years that followed. As mentioned previously, Chris would slowly but surely walk back his anti-LGBT stances.

[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2013]].]]

In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 80s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health and declining mentality are considered.

After Bob's death, Chris generally ceased interacting with trolls, seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to. Instead, Chris lapsed into a deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of the family tragedy, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the [[Chris and anger|bellicose]], [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric man-child that the world had come to know and love. For many, it became apparent that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] were over, and several moved on. The Golden Age of Chris-Chan was over.

[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin [[hair]] receding in earnest.]]

[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2015]], cosplaying as [[Vinyl Scratch]], AKA [[My Little Pony|DJ-PON3]].]]

Nonetheless, the surviving Chandlers still managed to be drama magnets in their own neighborhood. In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. (Chris had presumed that the store's new management meant that Snyder may no longer work there, thus giving Chris a chance to potentially revisit his old haunt. When this proved to not be the case, the both Chandlers hit Snyder with a car.) The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer. Much of the money that Bob left behind was used to pay for legal expenses.

While awaiting trial, Chris was worried that he may die a virgin if he were to go to prison, and so looked for ways to have at least one sexual encounter before a worst-case scenario could come to pass. [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true... [[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. Chris reneged on the "true love" part of his [[Love Quest]] and skipped straight to the point, which seemed to satisfy him in the short run but otherwise wasn't a life-changing experience for him. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the law|the law]] and spent less time online than usual.

[[2013]] saw Chris's online presence more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he had left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Walmart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the "stress" taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him – he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.

The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior.

At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when an extension cord leading from the bathroom to a coffee maker in the hallway – which was placed in such a location due to the nature of Barb's compulsive hoarding habits, and had become frayed due to the constant closing of the door – sparked and [[2014 house fire|set the house on fire]].<ref>[[BraveryJerk Interviews]]</ref> While no human was seriously harmed, one of the [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Some of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Bob's huge record collection.

Chris and his mother ran into [[Chris and money|acute]] [[Debt|financial]] [[Financhu Crisis|difficulties]] as a result of the house fire on top of their existing income issues, and Chris had spent most of the year alternating between begging for money and taking commissions to make more of his artwork on Facebook, and selling autographed photos of himself on eBay ([[Trolls|with it being pretty clear who most of his patrons were]]). Despite the severity of the Chandler family's financial issues, Chris chose to blow literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]] instead of working to resolve his debts. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fans]], who purchased these items as a means to keep a roof over Chris's head.

In July, Chris was catfished once more by a new sweetheart named [[Catherine]] after meeting her through [[OKCupid]]. She met up with him in Ruckersville and surreptitiously recorded his conversations. The relationship lasted through the end of the year, and through this process, it was learned that Chris [[Un-clit|pierced his taint]], with other media tied to Chris's life leaking as Catherine and cooperating trolls uncovered more details about his then-current life and mindset.

[[Transgender|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of pickles in general. Chris also took up swanning around attending LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingled with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. Naturally, it was only a matter of time before Chris would make a more serious commitment to his lifestyle change when he officially began to transition.

==Transgender Era==

{{main|2014|2015|2016|2017}}

{{quote|The future shock... Me? Actually a woman? It is a lot to process. But as I recall my past, I remember in high school, my habits and nature were recognized as most feminine. And in comparing it to my experiences with the masculine, I find I actually don't like such brutish things. And looking deep in my heart and soul, [[Chris and gender|I actually find I feel more woman than the male I was born as.]] And the more I open myself to that [[Chris and English|plausible]]... I truly feel more at peace with myself. [[Chris and his ego|I love me.]] '''[[The Incredible Lioness|I am woman! Roar!]]'''|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's fictionalized counterpart]] explaining his philosophy before becoming [[transgender]] in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]].}}

[[File:Happy Birthday, Nathan..mp400001.png|thumb|Chris in [[2016]].]]

In early December 2014, Chris informed those closest to him to start referring him with female pronouns, indicating his desire to go from being a crossdresser to becoming transgender. This era started with a bang when, in December, Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. On top of this, Chris subsequently caused another ruckus at Walmart, just in case you started feeling bad for him after being duped by yet another fake girlfriend. Chris ultimately spent a night in the slammer, and following a lengthy legal process, got off with a $541 fine and a six-month suspended sentence.

More generally, 2015 saw Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon hedgehog]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He indicated in several Facebook posts that he was still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; for some time, he yo-yoed between wanting to remain a crossdresser and wanting to transition into womanhood.

Chris performed the sequels to some of his greatest hits in 2016:

{| class="wikitable"
|Original
|Sequel
|-
|[[Recycling]]
|[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]
|-
|[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]
|[[Lesbian Sex Audition]]
|-
|[[Carlos Chantor]]
|[[Stephanie Bustcakes]]
|-
|[[Un-clit]]
|[[Self-inflicted taint wound]]
|}

[[File:Dailyprogress online cville pride cwc.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2017, donning his [[unicorn cosplay]] at [[Cville Pride]].]]

In addition, Barb was sued by two banks, due to failure to pay over $20,000 of debt, kicking off the [[Financhu Crisis]], in which she and Chris both begged for money like jackasses, while their hoards of things that they could sell were clearly visible behind them. The [[Business]] saga was suspended when Chris was [[Chris and business|banned from Etsy for failing to send orders]]. He continued to [[duck]] responsibility for his inability to put down the [[PS4]] controller long enough to slap together his preschool-level arts and crafts, choosing to blame [[Lulu]] for being "[[Homos|the bugger that bit my ass bad]] and killed my creative groove".

His Oedipal complex veered into disturbing new levels when he freely announced that he [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|dreams about having sex with his mother]]. He also made multiple death threats against political figures [[Donald Trump]] and Mike Pence.

[[File:ChrisandTeenTroonSquad.png|thumb|left|Chris with the Teen Troon Squad in [[2018]].]]

In [[2017]], the Financhu Crisis continued to stress the Chandlers. Chris offered pieces of his late father's stamp collection, the [[Sonic Totem]] and [[The Classic]] for sale in order to afford more toys, a [[$400 gold necklace]] for Barb, and the extremely costly expenses for his [[Stamps#Raffle|raffle prizes]]. He and Barb also continued begging. One of his friends from [[The End Games]] Pokémon Club grew concerned and gave him solid advice on how to apply for work through Virginia's DARS program – and in true Chris fashion, instead of following it, he went on an angry tirade. Later in the year, he was sued for failure to pay a debt to Mariner Finance.

Chris rediscovered Twitter in March. His frequent tweets to voice actresses lead to the [[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] saga – in which he was chastised for calling her [[darling]], but doubled down on it and was subsequently blocked by her – and getting blocked by ''My Little Pony'' VA [[Tabitha St. Germain]] due to her getting constantly tagged by Chris and the [[weens]] orbiting him. He created sockpuppet accounts [[NightStar2891]] to plead his case and [[TwiSparLicious]] to ban-evade, which failed.

He briefly joined the [[Kiwi Farms]] forum under the name LegendaryChristorian and held a Q&A session.

A high point for his social life was attending [[BronyCon]], at which he enjoyed attention from [[fans]]. He also attended LGBT events such as [[UVA Remembers Pulse]] (where he was interviewed on TV), [[Cville Pride]] (where he was photographed by news in crowd shots), and [[Love is Love]].

Chris resumed the [[Business]] saga halfway through the year by going back to work on the [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] comic he had abandoned in 2015, by placing pages behind [[Patreon]]. He also again offered books for sale, self-published by [[Lulu]], was paid to be interviewed by [[Merryweathery]] and [[CopperCab]], and joined [[Redbubble]]. After eight years, he finally completed #11, and moved onto #12, which he completed after a few months. He began work on [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] and [[Sonichu 15|''Sonichu'' #15]], but got distracted. His Patreon efforts also began to languish around October, when patrons complained that he hadn't been sending out books.

Another sweetheart saga took place in the fall. [[Jessica Quinn]], a long-time white knight, suddenly turned troll by pretending she had fallen in love with him. She broke up with him twice, the first time he cried on camera for her to take him back, and the final time, [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|he raged on video against the trolls he thought were to blame]]. He recovered quickly after drowning his sorrows at an ice cream shop.

==Goddess Era==

{{main|2017|2018|2019|2020|2021}}

{{quote|I, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], have tried and kept on and continuing on until that day in the new [[COVID-19|Pandemic-Free]] version of this, the Omega Timeline – 'cause I'm going back in time with this body, after I get back to [[Dimensions#C-197|C-197]] – finally return this body to mama in the new timeline at [[BABSCon]]. I tell you all, as overpowered a soul I am – in my own body that I was used to and accustomed with and everything – I, Sonichu, am unable to do Mama's job as good as only she, our OG Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, of [[Dimensions#1218|Earths 1218]] and C-197, can do. [[Chris and work|This work]], [[Obesity|her body]], [[Chris and mental healthcare|her brain]], [[Chris and reality|her Goddess-level overpowers and abilities]]; [[PsychicPowers|they're all literally tailored and custom-made only for her]]... [[Messiah complex|All praise, prayers, and power to our Goddess of 1218 and C-197: Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu!]]|Chris, [[Spirit possession|pretending to be Sonichu]], [[Goochland Library Sermon|completely going off of the deep end]] while talking about the [[Dimensional Merge]].}}

[[File:CWC 11 February 2019.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris in 2019 with [[Lego|a custom LEGO minifigure]] representing his [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|godsona]], [[CPU Blue Heart]].]]

After [[Heart level|having his heart shattered]] yet again, another troll, the [[Idea Guys|Idea Guy]], began to influence Chris by role-playing as his [[imaginary friends]] and convincing him that he was providing information from [[CWCville]]'s dimension, which Chris accepted out of having his fantasy world validated; along the way, another Idea Guy joined with the first. Together, they used their influence over Chris's beliefs to [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwash Chris into believing several things about himself]], such as the idea that he was [[bisexual]] and half-Sonichu, which ultimately culminated in Chris developing a [[Messiah complex]] derived from [[Dimensions|his own delusions about the nature of reality]] and the lore of ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]''.

[[File:Praetor5.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2020, moments before [[Goochland Library Sermon|giving a sermon]] of the allegedly imminent [[Dimensional Merge]].]]

When it was learned that the Idea Guys were extorting Chris, who was already facing financial difficulties, [[The Captain]] and [[Marvin]] intervened, forcing the Idea Guys out from Chris's life over the course of the subsequent months, however Chris retained much of the Idea Guys' brainwashing. The Captain, Marvin, and [[Null]] a group termed by onlookers as the [[Guard Dogs]], attempted to protect Chris from further bad actors by screening his messages, however, the [[Teen Troon Squad]] managed to evade them by meeting with Chris in person. The Guard Dogs alleged them to have role-played as Chris's imaginary friend [[Magi-Chan]] and Chris's retreated more into his fantasy world while under their enabling influence, although they stopped contacting Chris when they saw what happened to the Idea Guys.

Chris repeatedly denounced the Idea Guys for financially exploiting him, but the damage was done to his psyche: Chris bought into the fantasy that he was a goddess as a new coping mechanism, and his already-shaky grasp on reality hit rock bottom. Chris's new beliefs led him to seek a hippie makeover befitting of his supposed [[PsychicPowers|psychic prowess]], and he retreated further into his fantasies, generally refusing to engage with people who wouldn't entertain them. Chris eventually turned on Null, thanks to the influence of other trolls – chief among them, [[Jacob Sockness]], who sought to sexually exploit Chris. The Guard Dogs realized that there was nothing that they could do for a Chris who refused to listen, and disbanded, but a new group, known as the [[Watchmen]] (who [[Enablers|enabled some of Chris's fantasies]] out of pragmatism), sought to keep Chris from further embarrassing or endangering himself, successfully getting him away from Sockness before he could do any harm to Chris.

Throughout all of this, Chris's belief in the Dimensional Merge has not wavered. When it didn't arrive on the prophesized date of {{w|Jonestown|November 18, 2018}}, Chris did what all doomsday cultists and religious fundamentalists did whenever the apocalypse didn't happen: push it back again and again. Not helping matters was the advent of [[COVID-19]], which Chris saw as a sign of the Dimensional Merge's progress alongside all the other insane crap that happened in the year 2020. For Chris, things really took a turn for the worse when [[BABSCon]] got canceled, and he began an elaborate coping scheme to [[Spirit possession|live-action roleplay as Sonichu]] until he could attend ''[[My Little Pony]]'' conventions again, which will not happen until 2022 at the earliest. Chris spent nearly eleven months pretending to be his [[OCs|original character]], with very few interruptions, before eventually reverting to being himself again on 25 February 2021, [[KwaiiSandbag calls|thanks to the intervention of an enabler]], to personally oppose news about the ''[[My Little Pony]]'' G5 reboot.

During this time, Chris's appearance visibly aged significantly, with his hair turning grey. He's also seemingly lost a bit of weight, not due to improving his diet and leading a less sedentary lifestyle, but due to a decline in muscular mass. This is likely a result of the effects of the hormones that he has applied to treat his gender dysphoria, alongside his declining physical health due to his various poor life decisions. In addition to his existing health problems, he's also [[Chris and drugs|taken up drinking to excess and even smoking weed on occasion]], which both do his so-called "overpowered" goddess body absolutely no favors. Compared to [[Megan Schroeder]], who is four years younger than he is and currently looks pretty close to how she did in photographs with Chris about thirteen years ago, Chris now looks like he could now pass for her aunt or uncle. Chris also continued to be influenced by enablers such as [[Larry Vaughn]], [[KwaiiSandbag]], and [[Praetor]], the last of which is a group that seeks to exploit his infamy for sales revenue. The [[Watchmen]], an enabler/white knight group, splintered following internal conflict among its members.

==Downfall Era==

{{main|2021|2022|2023|Affair with Mother|Jail Saga}}
{{quote|So there you go, chat: the [[Dimensional Merge]] is happening right fucking now! Chris, our boy Chris, bravo! Bravo, brave young man! I guess you could say, uh, that [[Chris and sex#Incest|he really, really came into his own]]. And in case it's not already fucking obvious, [[Jail Saga|Chris is going to jail]]. So we'll see how that works out. Best of luck Chris! [[It's UGH!|Don't drop the soap]], buddy. The world you lived in was just a fantasyland, but [[Chris and reality|reality]]... Reality is [[Affair with Mother|a motherfucker]].|A deepfake of Mister Metokur.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saeC2T4Be8k</ref>}}

[[File:Arrestchu.jpeg|thumb|right|400px|{{w|Capture of Saddam Hussein|"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."}} Chris's arrest at a motel, filmed by fellow lolcow [[Ethan Ralph|Ethan "The Gunt" Ralph]].]]

[[File:2021_Chris_Chan_mugshot_2.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Chris in 2021, anticipating a short stay in the slammer. {{w|Psycho (1960 film)|"Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly!"}}]]

After nearly a decade of a slow downward spiral in nearly all aspects of Chris's life following Bob's death, his future did not look particularly bright. By 2021, Chris had largely reduced his online activities to posting long [[Twitter]] threads of faux-philosophical ramblings reflecting his New Age Retro Hippie mindset, which bordered on being incomprehensible or [[Enablers|esoteric]]. At the same time, the Chandler family's debt steadily rose, largely due to Barb and her son's poor spending habits. In the extremely likely event that Chris outlives Barb, it was speculated that the situation would get worse for Chris with nobody to ground him in reality. Not to mention that Chris was virtually unemployable in any career after years of having every detail about his past leak out to the internet, and he hadn't made a real effort to get a job since his attempt to win [[Kacey]]'s heart, after his short-lived stints working at [[Wendy's|fast food joints]] or in [[Cutco|multi-level marketing]].

However, there was fleetingly a period in which there was a degree of hope for Chris. Chris successfully reconciled with Null, who eventually helped organize a trip for Chris so that he could attend [[Everfree Northwest]], a ''[[My Little Pony]]'' convention, on the condition that [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW|Chris would complete commission work in exchange for his donations]]. Null believed this was a worthy effort to see if he could sustain himself as an adult through self-employment, particularly ahead of Barb's death. Chris actually kept up with these obligations, doing a considerable amount of work compared to previous months of less output. Had he kept his pace up post-convention, and with the right financial guidance, Chris could conceivably keep a roof over his head for at least another year. All seemed relatively normal for Chris as far as the post-Idea Guys status quo went, and some fans anticipated the possibility that Chris, now upset about MLP G5, would do something amusing at the convention as he prepared for the trip, just like old times.

[[File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Chris in [[2022]], returned to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. What nine months behind bars does to [[Chris and sex#Incest|a motherfucker]].]]

What happened next turned everything completely on its head. Chris would not, in fact, be going to Everfree Northwest. He would not be going to any future convention, for that matter, as the point of no return was finally passed after years of online infamy.

[[File:Cwcpaddedcell credit Un Platano.jpg|thumb|right|400px|[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|Chris spent time in protected custody during his jail stay.]] (Unlike this depiction, Barb obviously did not visit Chris due to the restraining order).]]

On 29 July 2021, [[Incest Call|an audio recording of a conversation between Chris and the troll]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] surfaced online, featuring a graphic discussion in which [[Affair with Mother|Chris described sexual acts that he committed with his own mother]] – a felony – over the course of several weeks. While trolls joked about Chris potentially committing incest before, few actually believed that he was capable of acting on those impulses and taking advantage of an elderly (and possibly senile) woman. Once these details got out, nothing would ever be the same: he and Barb were separated by the [[Jerkops|authorities]], he had to vacate his only home due to a week-long protective order, he was very quickly banned from the convention that he'd hoped to attend, and his [[Patreon]] account – one of his few real sources of income – was taken down. Null quickly washed his hands of Chris for good, not only after learning that the audio leak was legitimate, but also when he realized that Chris effectively stole approximately $750 from Barb to [[Toys|fund his stay at a hotel]].

[[File:Chris_mugshot_27_March_2023.png|thumb|left|150px|Chris in [[2023]], at the end of his stay in jail. Note [[Obesity|the weight loss]] compared to his first mugshot and Chris's improved mood compared to his second.]]

Chris was [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrested]] on 1 [[August 2021]], an event which was live-streamed by [[Post-Merge Era|multiple orbiters]]. The incest revelation and the ensuing drama resulted in several people associated with Chris cutting ties with him – such as [[Don Lashomb]], [[The WCT]], and [[the Suitress]]. Other people continue to interact with Chris such as [[Kenneth Engelhardt]], [[Praetor]], [[Helena Fiorenza]], and [[Eels and the Eggman]]. Chris's actions during this time trended on social media, leading less internet-savvy netizens to either discover Chris for the first time or to rediscover him after years of fading into obscurity. The massive social media reaction to the news led to Chris's actions being covered by various news outlets – most notably, a dedicated segment on Fox News, which in turn exposed him to millions of retired, right-wing baby boomers.

Chris spent the next several months in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]] after being arrested by the Henrico County sheriff's department, awaiting a court hearing set for 28 [[July 2022]], following three continuances. While waiting in jail, Chris's [[Messiah complex|delusions of godhood]] have spiraled out of control as he now believes himself to be {{w|Jesus|Jesus of Nazareth}} reincarnated and the [[Dimensional Merge]] to be proceeding entirely as planned. During this time, Chris has kept in touch with the outside world via a multitude of [[Jail Communications]] discussing a variety of subjects, from his jail conditions to [[Chris and religion|his renewed interest in the Bible]] and [[Weening|ween]] attempts to convert him to Islam through reading the Qur'an. These letters and phone calls have also revealed that Chris has been kept in protective custody for his own safety.

Early into [[March 2022]], it was learned that Chris was transferred out of jail into the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution. During this time, Chris was isolated from the outside world; what he was up to while there will most likely remain unknown until his next hearing. He returned to [[CVRJ]] on [[May 2022|3 May 2022]], with a new mugshot taken upon his arrival, showing that Chris looks much more gaunt than before and has lost a substantial amount of weight. Unfortunately, subsequent mail correspondence indicates that his time away from jail has not caused him to face reality, sticking to his fantasies.

On 28 [[July 2022]], only a day before the first anniversary of the leaking of the infamous incest call, Chris finally had his court hearing after three delays. In the process, it was determined that the case would be going before a grand jury for at least one felony incest charge. However, Chris's lawyer filed a motion for autism disorder deferred deposition. Following months of [[CWCki|excessive]] [[Kiwi Farms|online]] [[Orbiter Wave|interest]] in the case, Chris's lawyer eventually managed to convince the court to seal the case on 11 [[August 2022]], with "waive right to indictment" and "transportation order" added to his case file. The exact meaning of these legal maneuvers remains unknown.

After a long period of quiet, 27 [[March 2023]] shocked the internet when it was announced that Chris was released from jail. The exact circumstances leading to Chris's release from incarceration remain unclear at this time, along with the conditions for Chris to remain free. VineLink initially reported that he was bonded out<ref>[[:File:VineLink Out of Custody 27 March 2023.png]]</ref> then updated to say he was released by court order.<ref>[[:File:VineLink Out of Custody 27 March 2023 - 1 49 pm update.png]]</ref> Chris's current place of residence is similarly unclear, with the secrecy possibly being for Chris's own protection, although it is heavily speculated that Chris now resides in a group home. In any case, Chris has stayed off of social media since his release, [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|but has been spotted in public by a few observers]] and on [[PlayStation Network|PSN]].

==Future==
{{quote|I'm [[Messiah_complex#Jesus_Reborn|Christ]] Chan Prime|[[PlayStation_Network#Post-jail_activity|Chris's first public words since his release.]]}}

Chris is legally prohibited from living in the same house as Barb<ref>[[Jail Letter - 21 July 2022]]</ref>. If speculation about Chris now residing in a [[Chris's homes#Post-Jail Residence|group home]] turns out to be true, he could conceivably spend the rest of his life there in the event that his Incest case continues dragging on and/or his mental state continues to decline. However, limited access to court details and other legal documentation makes speculating about Chris' legal future difficult. This is also to say nothing of [[Chris and health|his many, many existing issues with mental and physical health]]; both of which will continue to decay and show no sign of recovering anytime soon.

In any case, Chris's story is one that seems fated to [[Chris and Death#Chris himself (1982–)|not have a happy ending]], with his life perhaps serving as a cautionary tale in the age of the internet. A tale of [[Borb|bad parenting]], [[Chris and socialization|social isolation]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|gullibility]], [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and work|laziness]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]], [[Chris and sex|sexual deviancy]], and most importantly, a tale of the world witnessing in real-time the slow, painful degradation of another human being.

==Featured Fan Videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| ytid = DxAhBoYfWy4
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan ~ Ruler of Everything
| ytid = Wul6LgL8FvI
| Stardate = 4 March 2021
| Maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIbrqVkPdL_5qrgjwHYytQg First Son]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] – Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] – Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:Christianchandler]] – Chris's own CWCki account

{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}
{{References}}

==External links==
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the {{w|Internet Movie Database}}

{{Newbie}}
{{Check this out}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}
[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]
[[Category:Chris]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Homos]]
[[Category:Autistic]]
[[Category:LGBT]]

Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David

2023-08-08T02:08:14Z

Sandubadear: [sic]

'''Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 23 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. Chris, still high on victory, turns his attention to [[BlueSpike]], believing him to be the cause of [[weens]] [[prank call]]ing his house solely to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAAAAAAAAY!]]" and call him [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (even though the latter meme was created by [[Liquid Chris]] rather than BlueSpike). His reasoning for going after BlueSpike also seemed to be more towards his condition of [[Asperger's]] and the fact that he has no job, likes 'big rooms' and is a gamer, despite the fact that BlueSpike would only be about 15–16 by the time of the video and be in full-time education, unable to get a proper job, unlike a certain 30-year-old we know. He "outs him" as fellow lolcow David Harlow, a.k.a. nesshelper, which is false for a multitude of reasons.

It, too, was removed from YouTube shortly after being posted due to "hate speech". Chris also gave BlueSpike a deadline of 15 September, but Chris likely forgot about it following the death of his father, [[Bob Chandler]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David
| ytid = fuwe_jHBuVc
| stardate = 23 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|[[Internet]]}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Calling Out Saga|text}}, {{Julie|text}}
| shirt = Mix 107.3 Shirt
| previous = [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]]
| next = [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]
}}

{{quote|And he has no job! And he is also a gamer.}}

== Transcript ==
[''Chris puts his hand to his mouth and clears his throat'']

{{RageQuote|[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JUUULAYYYYYY! JUUUULAAYY!]] [[Ian Brandon Anderson|IT'S IAN BRANDON ANDERSON!]]}}

[''waves his hands while doing the [[Claw of Fail]]'']

{{RageQuote|JUUULLLAY!}}

Hello, Ian! Why is your last name Brandon Anderson?

{{RageQuote|JUUUUULLAYYY!}}

[[File:Toht.jpg|thumb|Chris looked at the Ark.]]

[''blows raspberry while flipping the bird''] And that's who we are calling out next. The, uh, person who posed-pretended to be an adult woman but yet was a little, uh, little brat. Al...he was also known as his alias Max, and BlueSpike, but his real name is... [''hits pad of paper offscreen''] David! And he lives in... [''hits pad again''] California!

Don't know that much about his age, but he's at least 13 years old. And guess what? He is confirmed to have... [''dramatic lean forward''] Asperger's! And I don't care much for Aspergians, and I do not care to be associated with, erm, an-... and [[Chris and reality|I do not accept the]] [''makes quote-marks hand gesture''] [[Chris and science|scientific fact]] that [[autism]] is linked to assburgers at any time. I would quote myself as to what I said in the [[Speech impediment|esstra]] part of [[Autism Tutorial Extra|my ''LittleBigPlanet 2'' animation]], but I don't remember the words at this point.

''[picks up camera and turns around, with it facing the back of the room]''

Except that it definitely sounds like a bad cut of cow meat. And of course he was responsible for dat Julie fiasco and making me drive all the way to Cleveland, Ohioooo! And cutting up, one of the, cutting up the second medal, and ''[murmurs, sounding a bit like Popeye] [[Julie Reveals Herself|shoving it up my ass.]]'' And... he likes ''[dramatic gesture]'' big rooms! [[Chris and hypocrisy|And he has no job! And he is also a gamer.]] Here is a close up, featured from his photograph!

''[Chris turns the camera around to face the TV]''

''[high pitched]'' Look at his buck [[Fangs|teeth]]! ''normal again'' Or at least the gap between his teeth. That's a biiiig gap! Look at how big that gap is! Huh? Gap! Teeth! Buck teeth? Perhaps. But definitely a gap.

''[Chris turns the camera back towards himself while spinning around]''

And, Mr. David, you have until [[September 2011|September]] fifteenth to come up with the apology video, and leave me and my family and my friends at peace, oh, and also in your apology video tell everyone to [[Prank calls#Failed Prank Call|stop making phonecalls to me that say]] ''[makes the Claw of Fail]''

{{RageQuote|[[Prank calls#Failed Prank Call|JUUULLAAAAY! JUUULLLAAAYYY!]]}}

And get rid... make sure that no-one ever calls me Ian Brandon Everson ever again, because, ''[fast]'' {{w|That's Not My Name|thatisnotmyname}}! ''[long pause]'' You have until September fifteenth. ''[short pause]''

{{RageQuote|JUUUULLLLAAAY!}}

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan Bollywood Boogie
| video = {{#ev:youtube|l97pMVZoZ1s}}
| stardate = 20 [[March 2012]]
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/user/ponytoons ponytoons]
| type = Fan-Made Music Video
| info = Warning: [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Underwear]] near the end.}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Re-Calling Ahuvia]]|nextlink=[[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]}}
{{Calling Out}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-23 b]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Obesity

2023-07-31T04:45:23Z

Sandubadear: /* Exercise */

{{Honest}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}
{{quote|One more thing, [[Chris and reality|I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!]]|Chris, lying to a [[white knight]]<ref>[[White knight emails]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|I do not feel good hearing remarks or comments that have relation to my gut.|Chris to [[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 6]]</ref>}}

[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|[[List of Chris's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|Look at his "slender" figure.]]]]

'''Obesity''' is perceived to be a worldwide epidemic, especially in the [[United States of America]], with about 73.6% of adults overweight and 42.5% obese.<ref>https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/obesity-overweight.htm ''CDC FastStats - Overweight Prevalence, 2017-2018''</ref> While [[Chris]] is no longer technically in the latter category, he spent a good chunk of his adult life in it, and he remains overweight to this day.

Chris seems to be in denial about his own obesity. His denial is evidenced by the fact that he portrays himself as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|a slim, barrel-chested hero]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], when he describes himself as "fit as a fiddle". Furthermore, in his numerous dating profiles discovered by the trolls, he often lists himself as having an "athletic build" or at the very least having weight that is proportionate to his height.

Another example of this was when he created a character for his comics named [[Sammy]], whom Chris stated is based off him when he "temporary [sic] gained weight, became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command", even though he has always been this way. Except, y'know, for the Ghost Command part. But [[Chris and reality|that's]] a whole other problem.

Further cementing his obesity, on 2 [[October 2011]], Chris's voluptuous manboobs won an award on [http://web.archive.org/web/20111003142847/http://www.manboobs.co.uk/submissions/manboob_of_the_month manboobs.co.uk].

During the [[Jail Saga]], Chris notably shed a noticeable amount of weight, thanks to getting a degree of exercise while behind bars, and more importantly, [[Chris and nutrition|his jail diet]] consisting of ostensibly healthier food than what he could get in the drive-through, along with the amount of junk food that he could consume becoming limited by his commissary funds. In [[May 2022]], Chris's mugshot taken after returning to jail from [[Western State Hospital]] shows that he visibly lost weight since his arrest in [[August 2021]] to the point where he no longer has a a double-chin. Western State Hospital, unlike Central Virginia Regional Jail, does not have a commissary where he could supplement his jail diet with junk food and soft drinks. The [[March 2023]] mugshot seen on his release from jail also made it look like he had still lost substantial weight despite being able to add empty calories to his diet again, as his jail uniform is now incredibly baggy. As of [[May 2023]] onward, [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|Chris was spotted multiple times after leaving jail]], Chris's sightings indicate that he is indeed lighter than he was prior to being incarcerated, and though he is still overweight, he appears to be in comparatively better shape than he has been for quite some time.

==Exercise==
[[File:Cwcspin.gif|thumb|left|Chris exercising.]]

Chris believes that ''standing up without moving'' is a legitimate form of exercise, and as such considers playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' a workout. During one of his [[PSN]] chats with Julie, when asked to exercise more, he replied, "I'll stand up more". It is not known how Chris came to believe that standing up is exercise, but it is most likely that Chris is simply extremely lazy and will lie to say that he works out every day, even though he just plays [[video games]]. It's possible he's picked it up from health tips that say standing burns more calories than sitting down,<ref>http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/8-ways-to-burn-calories-without-noticing/article16261.html ''Reader's Digest.'' See tip #3</ref><ref>http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/office-exercise/SM00115 ''Mayo Clinic.'' See tip #2</ref> but rather than use such tips to get the most out of an already busy lifestyle, he substitutes it for actual exercise altogether. It's also entirely possible he's in such terrible shape that the simple act of standing tires him as much as an actual workout would tire a normal human being.

[[File:Coke, Unicorn cosplay.jpg|thumb|150px|You know Chris didn't share that bottle with anyone.]]

[[Emily]] has said Chris power-walks around his neighborhood for thirty minutes and claims it's two miles (3 km), then claims to jog for two or three minutes every walk. She then went on to say Chris doesn't know how to jog — his idea of jogging is actually sprinting. It's safe to say he tries to run at "[[Sonic]] speed" for ten seconds, then resumes his leisurely waddle. This theory is confirmed in [[Sonichu's Edge]].

In [[Mailbag 21]], Chris claimed that he planned on investing in a gym membership. Judging by photographs and videos featuring his midsection from subsequent months, he either lied or wasted his money, only finally doing it [[Chris_and_health#Anytime_Fitness|almost ten years later]].

In his [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (RadioRabbit0)|letter to radiorabbit0]], he mentioned playing basketball to pass the time while awaiting court hearings.

==Diet==

Another contribution to Chris' obesity is the food he eats. Chris's [[Chris and nutrition|diet]] is appalling, consisting mainly of fast food and other unhealthy foodstuffs. While it would be acceptable if he treated himself to that stuff occasionally (like most people do), there's no question that it's a staple of his diet. The sheer amount of calories he consumes, coupled with his laziness, means that he's carrying around enough extra mass to make another person. His diet will most likely also cause problems other than obesity, and may be the cause of his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal leakage]].

In 2017, Chris decided that his ass wasn't fat enough, and began listening to a subliminal hypnosis track in the hopes of transferring his belly fat to his ass, as an attempt to obtain an hourglass figure.

During the [[Jail Saga]], Chris's diet consisted of the type of slop typically served in jail cafeterias, and occasionally commissary food if he'd earned it. It is unclear if Chris was a picky eater, but he shed a noticeable amount of weight during his extended stay in jail, likely due to a significant decrease in junk food available for him to consume. Chris is still overweight, although he seems to be thinner coming out of jail than he's been for decades.

==Actual weight claims==
{{quote|Seriously, though, the last few times I looked on my smart scale of how much I weighed, without clothes, at above 210, I hopped off immediately without letting it sync with my Fitbit app. ALOL|Chris, January 2019<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1082811421363261441</ref>}}

[[File:Hypnosis for fatter ass.png|thumb|left|200px|Chris actually believes [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis|binaural beats]] will [[Chris and reality|magically transform]] his fat gut and ass into an hourglass figure.]]

[[File:weightovertimev2.png|thumb|500px|A graph of Chris's (reported) weight over the years.]]

[[File:Burlesque1.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's weight in [[June 2015]].]]

Modern measurement of whether someone is overweight or obese generally employs the [[Wikipedia:Body mass index|BMI]] system, which creates an index based on the height and weight of an individual. This system is by no means perfect; the readings tend to be inaccurately high for people who are exceptionally tall, have heavily set bodies or are very muscular, because these people have more bone or muscle weight than others. However, it is a very accurate system when applied to people of average height, bone structure and muscle build – which Chris is. Additionally, the distinction between overweightness and obesity is arbitrary, with different countries using different standards. For our purposes, a BMI of 25 and above is overweight, and a BMI of 30 and above is obese, which is the standard most widely used in the United States. If Chris were a Japanese citizen, he'd be obese with even a BMI of 25.

===Chris's height===

One of the two factors required to calculate BMI is height. For most of his adult life, Chris has claimed to be 5′ 10″ (178 cm),<ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref> which is possible, but even at this height, his BMI would have almost never been under the "overweight" bracket since he began to record it in 2000. Given how readily [[List of Chris's Lies|Chris lies to serve himself]], he may be shorter, which would render his BMI in the "obese" range. In a [[26_December_2014#Police_Scanner_Video|police scanner report]] from 2014, he was described as being 5′ 9″ (1.75 m), and his [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|custom ''Pokémon'' cards]] from 2000, 2002 and 2004 all give his "length" as 5′ 9″. As of 2021, Chris has taken to describing himself as 5′ 11″ (1.80 m),<ref>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref> which is almost certainly a lie.

For the sake of simplicity, the BMI data listed below is based on a height of 5′ 10″.

===Weight claims===
* 9 May 2000 - Chris's "Christian's Christian" [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|custom Pokémon card]] gives his weight as '''185 pounds''' (80 kg).<ref>[[:File:099-CWCsCWC.jpg]]</ref> This would give him a BMI of 26.5, which is only slightly overweight.

* 25 March 2002 - Chris's "Dark Christian" [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|custom Pokémon card]] gives his weight as '''185 pounds''' (80 kg).<ref>[[:File:100-DarkCWC.jpg]]</ref>

* 2 February 2004 - Chris's "Christian Chandler" [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|custom Pokémon card]] gives his weight as '''165 pounds''' (75 kg),<ref>[[:File:098-CWCCard1.jpg]]</ref> the least he has claimed to weigh in his adult life. If this number is accurate, his BMI at the time would have been 23.7, putting him within the heavier end of the normal range and not overweight. However, since this is the first time Chris has reported his weight since the beginning of his [[Love Quest]], it is possible that he still weighed closer to 185 pounds and simply began lying about his weight to appear more attractive to the opposite sex.

* 20 July 2005 - In a [[Diary]] entry, Chris reported that his weight was '''180 pounds''' (about 80 kg),<ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005]]</ref> meaning that during that time his BMI was 25.8, which is slightly overweight.

* Fall 2009 - Chris told Kacey that his weight was somewhere between '''215 and 220 pounds''' (98–100 kg),<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref> meaning his BMI was between 30.8 and 31.6, nudging him into the obese range.

* Fall 2009 - In a later conversation with Kacey, Chris said that at a recent doctor's visit he had weighed in at '''205 pounds''' (93 kg), down from 216 the last time he had been there.<ref>[[Kacey Call 19]]</ref>

* February 2010 - Chris claimed to weigh "'''about 200 [pounds]'''" (91 kg), and also admitted to having once weighed more than 220 pounds (100 kg). Even if we interpret the words "about 200" to mean 190, his BMI at the time would still be 27.3, i.e. overweight, nearing obesity. He also claimed at this time that his goal was to get down to 180 pounds (82 kg).<ref>[[Mailbag 54#Fatty]]</ref>

* October 2010 - In the [[WeighIn|WeighIn video]], Chris claimed to weigh '''216 pounds''' (97 kg). This seems very unrealistic, given his apparent girth and food consumption. Most [[trolls|experts]] believe that Chris either offset his scale by 40 or 50 pounds, or that he did not fully stand on the scale in order to fool people into believing he's not extremely fat. It is also possible that Chris's years of inactivity had caused his muscles to deteriorate to the point that he looked like he weighed more than 250 pounds, when actually he was just 216 pounds of pure fat. Even if we assume that he indeed weighed only 216 lbs at the time, this would still put his BMI at 31, making him '''obese'''.

* April 2012 - Chris announced on Facebook that he was "going down to '''223''' <nowiki>[101 kg]</nowiki> and falling."<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts]]</ref>

[[File:Chris mugshot 27 March 2023.png|thumb|What Chris looked in [[March 2023]] after his jail diet.]]

* July 2013 - Chris again posted to Facebook that he was "down to '''220'''" (~100 kg).<ref>[[July 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

* October 2013 - Just three months later, Chris told Facebook that according to his doctor's visit he weighed '''211 pounds''' (96 kg), and had lost seven pounds since last he checked.<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

* January 2014 - Chris asserted on Facebook that he weighed "'''about 202 pounds'''" (91 kg). While many would be quick to dismiss this solely on the basis that he eats at McDonald's regularly, at least one report shows that it can't be the sole factor, due to [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2533353/Forget-Super-Size-Me-Man-loses-37lbs-lowers-cholesterol-eating-McDonalds-three-months.html one individual actually ''losing weight'' on a pure McDonald's diet]. However, given the sheer deluge of fast/processed food Chris eats from other places, the non-existence of an exercise regimen, and the simple fact that his face is a lot fatter compared to previous photographs of him, this claim that he weighs 202 pounds is ''very'' dubious.<ref>[[January 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

* October 2014 - Chris defensively told his friend Shaina that he weighed "'''around 200''' <nowiki>[91 kg]</nowiki>, give or take two or three."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails]]</ref>

* January 2018 - At [[MAGfest]], Chris said that he was '''"212 pounds of awesome"''' at the ''Christory of Sonichu'' panel.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/1-6-chris-at-magfest.38143/page-16#post-2931683</ref> Later, when he praised a fan who lifted him with a bear hug, Chris stated that his weight was more than 212 pounds, congratulating the fan on his strength.<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Much love for MAGfest fans]]</ref>

* January 2019 - Chris self-consciously reported his weight at '''213 pounds''' (96 kg).<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1082809505367367680</ref> Three days later, Chris posted on Twitter data from his Aria 2 Smart Scale and Fitbit app that displayed his weight as '''209.7 pounds''' (95.1 kg) with his BMI listed as 29.4, nearly inside of the obese range.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1083935703698935808</ref> The readout from the smart scale also displayed Chris' Percent Body Fat as 45.3%, for comparison, PBF greater than 25% is considered obese for men while greater than 32% is obese for women. Chris stated that he wants to use his [[treadmill]] to slim down to 200 and eventually 179 pounds.

* November 2021 - Chris, after three months in jail, gave his weight as '''203 pounds''' (92 kg). Presumably this is due to the relatively low quality and low amount of food available to inmates. Chris described this weight as "appropriate to my Human Form's Five Foot, Eleven Inch Height", although with a BMI of 28.3 he is still very much overweight.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref>

==Health==
''Main article: [[Chris and health]]''

Obviously, all this has an adverse effect on Chris's health. Morbidly obese people are far more likely to develop diabetes, heart disease, and a number of other ailments. While it is admittedly possible to be both fat ''and'' fit at the same time, and an obese person can be very healthy in other regards (even living a long life), Chris's lifestyle, combined with ample evidence of his lack of physical prowess, means that this does not apply to him.

==Denial==
{{Quote|He's fat! Iiiiii'm thin!|Chris breaking out into chorus on [[Alec Benson Leary]]<ref>[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal]]</ref>}}
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|180px|Horizontal stripes aren't exactly slimming!]]

Chris has generally been in denial about his weight. When a white knight once told him that he needed to lose some weight if he ever wanted to get a girlfriend, Chris responded by freaking out and exclaiming that he wasn't overweight.<ref>[[White knight E-mails#September 2008 .E2.80.94 Chris denies being fat and sexist]]</ref> In [[IRC]], Chris has been known to become very defensive about his weight, always making claims that he works out, when in fact he just stands up while playing ''Guitar Hero''. Chris's reaction to being called fat is precisely the same as his reaction to being called [[homos|gay]]. Unfortunately for Chris, there isn't a [[Homo#Defenses_against_becoming_homo|poster that will help him lose weight]]. He simply screams that he isn't fat, then oftentimes lies, and calls the person accusing him fat. He exhibited this behavior during an email with [[Evan]],<ref>[[Masturbating_and_squirtin%27#Transcript of Chrisreply1evan.jpg|1st email to Evan]]</ref> during his phone call with [[Father Call|Kacey's father]], and especially in his conversation with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], where insults about his weight triggered a screaming rage.

However, during his original rivalry with [[Liquid Chris]], Chris once finally admitted he was perhaps maybe just a little bit fat, but only because he could use this as proof that he was the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler. A similar problem arose during the [[Asperchu]] saga, where Chris, in an attempt to prove that Asperchu was a parody of himself, was forced to admit that Asperchu's "Buddha belly" and "man boobs" are similar to his own. More specifically, he acts as though he ''used'' to have a sagging gut, even though he has, in fact, significantly gained weight since [[high school]]. He chose to focus on this aspect of Asperchu rather than admit his more embarrassing failures the series parodies. He did once admit in a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]] that he was not fit.

There is also convincing evidence that [[autism|Chris has difficulty recognizing]] the human figure — [[Facial blindness|faces]] in particular. His consistent representation of himself as slender and athletic may be attributable to his having formed his self-image during high school, when he would spend hours studying his then-scrawnier self in the mirror, memorizing his looks. However, this is unlikely as Chris has probably never "spent hours studying" anything.<ref> [[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|''Sonichu'' #7]] - "…I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like…"</ref>

Chris passed a kidney stone on July 9, 2017. According to the Mayo Clinic,<ref>http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/kidney-stones/symptoms-causes/dxc-20319562</ref> some causes of kidney stones include dehydration, certain diets that are rich in protein, sodium, and sugar, and being obese, which makes sense, seeing as Chris is fat, eats a lot of fast food, which is rich in sodium and sugar, and he commonly drinks soda over water, which unlike water, doesn't do well for hydration.

==In the comic==
[[File:SchuComic12-1P96.jpg|thumb|Fat Rosechu]]
Obesity in the ''Sonichu'' comic is largely limited to villains like [[Robotnik]] or the [[Jerkhief]] and comic relief like [[Sammy]], but [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]] contains a bizarre sequence in which [[Rosechu]] and [[Cera]] balloon up before later losing 200 pounds in two weeks. This was done to appeal to [[Jessica Quinn]], who had a fat fetish.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/CLog_10042017_-_Q%26A_1#Question_12:_About_the_Rosechu_weight_gain</ref><ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_Facebook_posts#Quinn.27s_missing_out</ref>

==See also==
* [[Chris and health]]
* [[Muscle bra|Manboobs]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Burger King]]
* [[List of restaurants]]

==References==
<references/>
{{Health}}
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

October 2014 Facebook Posts

2023-07-25T00:58:02Z

Sandubadear: /* Chris Hits Up a Gay Bar... Seriously */

The following are a series of posts by Chris on [[Facebook]] in [[October 2014]].

==Summary==
* 1 October - Chris provides yet more thrilling news about his [[medallion]] production.
* 1 October - Chris issues [[death threats]] against [[SEGA|Sega]] for their alterations to [[Sonic Boom Protests|the color of Sonic's arms]].
* 1 October - Chris offers opinions about [[Britney Spears]] and relationships.
* 4 October - Chris apologizes to [[Catherine]].
* 5 October - Chris gives an update on his medallion sales.
* 8 October - Another medallion update.
* 9 October - Chris wants someone to buy [[Barb|his mother]]'s car.
* 13 October - Yet another medallion update. Chris is in financial trouble.
* 15 October - Another medallion update.
* 16 October - Chris does research on sluts and sex.
* 18 October - Chris gives a movie review.
* 19 October - Chris asks for an invitation to a [[Halloween]] party.
* 22-23 October - Chris rants about [[eBay]] problems.
* 24 October - Chris sends positive messages to the oppressed of the world.
* 25 October - Chris offers opinions on GamerGate and [[autism]].
* 27 October - Chris hopes to see Temple Grandin.
* 28 October - Chris complains about eBay and the stresses of adulthood.
* 31 October - Chris visits a [[Impulse Gay Social Club|gay bar]].

==Posts by Chris==
===Medallion Listing Update===
{{quotebox|1 October 2014

My, My! The [[Medallion]] Listing ended with the last quantity number sold. No worries, people, I will have it relisted ASAP, when [[eBay]] refreshes my monthly Listing Allowance.

In the meantime, everyone can still get a Medallion for Free with purchase of a Framed Piece, [[Commissions|Commission]] with the Works, and a Colored Commission. And I will now offer a Two-For-One Special through the B&W Listing; Free Medal with Purchase of a B&W Commission, and y'all may request a Medallion in lieu of a Commission Drawing. That is like buying Two Medallions for 1 2/3 of the total price.

I will extend the offer until when I am able to Relist the Medallions. I sincerely apologize for any inconveniences, and I thank you all for your understanding and patience.}}

===More Medallion Listing Updates===
{{quotebox|1 October 2014
Alright! I had 21 Medallions Molded and near ready! I ran out of Leather Straps again, so I was forced to stop at 18. So 18 Medallions were given their Tracking Numbers and shipped out this morning. I pulled another all-nighter last night, and I slept from about 6 or 7:30 AM to 3:50 PM. I am taking the rest of today and tomorrow off, and I will mold more medallions on Friday and the weekend. The next planned shipping day will be this coming Monday. And I have not forgotten anyone; I keep a hand-written record from all of the sales, so I am good there, and I update it shortly after new sales have been made.

Thank you all for your patience, patronage and good will.}}

===Chris Rips Sonic's Arms Off===
Chris uploads a couple of pictures of himself frowning deeply and brandishing a plush [[Sonic]]. Of note is the filthiness of his receding [[hair]] and the fact that despite being made for a female, the shirt he is wearing does not properly contain his [[Obesity|breasts]] (or indeed the rest of his torso). He issues a [[death threats|death threat]] to every single person working at Sega.

{{quotebox|1 October 2014
[[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic's Arms Are Not BLUE!!!]] You all continue to make me most Angry with this Most Criminal Of Changes In History EVER!!!

You Either Recall EVERYTHING of the New Sonic Boom, RIGHT NOW, or I will Seriously (not) RIP HIS ARMS OFF and Seriously (WILL) Watch You All At SEGA DIE from this Heinous Of Crimes EVER!!!

[[File:Chrischan_oct14.jpg|220px]]
[[File:Chrischan_oct14_2.jpg|250px]]}}
[[William Elliott Waterman|William]] then called him out for his ridiculous overreaction:

{{quoteboxgreen|Chris, you're not serious.}}

Chris replied:

{{quotebox|I AM!!! And I have already messages the Sonic the Hedgehog Page with these photos and the same message.}}
{{quotebox|Do I look NOT Serious?}}

William:

{{quoteboxgreen|It's ridiculous. Why do you think sega will care if you're going to (not) rip the arms off of a sonic plush doll?}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|I am making MY Statement on the matter!}}

William:

{{quoteboxgreen|Sonic Boom is just another dumb cartoon, like Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog, SatAM, Sonic X, and that underground drivel. It means nothing to the canon of the character design in the games.}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|It means EVERYTHING TO ME, to SONIC'S History, TO EVERY HARDCORE SONIC THE HEDGEHOG FAN!!!}}

William:

{{quoteboxgreen|Just ignore it. Sonic Boom. Is. Not. Canon.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|You sound like Richard Kuta and Spax3 right now (they destroyed their own lives by complaining about sonic's voice and eye color).}}
{{quoteboxgreen|What about Sonic 2006? That was canon. Look at what it did to Sonic's reputation for the rest of time after it was released. Why don't you complain about that game?}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|Gaming content does not matter here! And neither is Cannon or Not Cannon (I Really Hate that definition of Cannon).

And for your information, in my normal mental state, I would not rip the arms off; I prefer not to lie. But the Blue Arms make me feel SUPER ANGRY, that I WOULD RIP THE ARMS OFF OF IT!!!}}
{{quotebox|And, I corrected the arm color with [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Model Magic]]. NO LAUGHING!!! >:(}}

===I Love You, Catherine===
Chris makes a remorseful post for his [[sweetheart]] [[Catherine]] with a link to an accompanying [[I Love You, Catherine|video]]. In it, he apologizes for having characteristically assumed the worst of a [[Colin|male friend]] of hers and reveals he is in an "open relationship."

{{quotebox|4 October 2014
I deepestly [[Chris and remorse|apologize]] to Catherine for the recent mistakes that I have made. I apologize to Colin for assuming him to be as bad as a rapist, as well as, more accurately, a womanizer who takes advantage. And I apologize to Shaina for getting her involved as a back-and-forth messenger, and I thank her for all that she has done there. And I most deeply thank Catherine for continuing to care about and love me, as I care for and love her very much. I still am learning about how to behave in an open relationship, and I promise to learn from my mistakes to become a better Lesbian Transgender Sweetheart and Partner for her and our future in our relationship together.

And to the Person (Troll) who has found the [[Three-Quarter Woman|"Three-Quarter Woman"]] Mix CD, Please mail that back to me, well packaged and marked fragile, to my home address of [[14 Branchland Court|14 Branchland Ct.]] [[Ruckersville]], VA 22968-9545, so I can return it directly to Catherine as soon as possible after having it returned. Thank You.}}

[[Kim Wilson]] then replied:

{{quoteboxred|Christian Weston Chandler It takes a [[JERK|man]] to apologize for his mistakes. Good job!}}

William agreed:

{{quoteboxgreen|I don't even know who these people are (and you labeled that guy some serious things), but good job manning up.}}

===Blake Sonichu Medallion===
{{quotebox |5 October 2014
I may be confused, but I feel need to check: has anyone ordered a [[Blake]] (Black Sonichu) Medallion recently?

Please PM me on my eBay Profile Immediately to verify, and so I can properly list it next to your name an address on my hand-written records. Thank You.

Have a good and safe day.
}}

===Finished Molding 15 Medallions===
{{quotebox |5 October 2014
Good news, I have just finished molding 15 Medallions. I had three more that were unable to be shipped last time, because I ran out of leather strap material. I will be painting starting this coming afternoon, and I will have a total of 18 medals to ship out. And, by the way, I was already more than halfway through the total count of over 70 medallions. After getting the remaining nine, plus 10 for my special friends, made and shipped by the end of this week, I will go back to the Commissions, and have them drawn up and ready to be shipped hopefully the following Monday.

Also, I will tell everyone who is getting the Number One Medal, which is a [[Silvana Rosechu]] Medallion for my Best Customer.}}

William then replied:

{{quoteboxgreen|Is it me? Silvana is one of your greatest creations. That, and maybe a [[Yawning Squirtle|yawning squirtle]] medallion would be awesome.}}

===Shipping the Medallions===
{{quotebox|8 October 2014

I have shipped the recent lot of medallions yesterday, plus two [[autographed photos|photographs]]. I am feeling groggy in my head right now; I've been wrapping my brain on other more local issues to me.

Anyhow, I am taking a break for the few days; I will try to get some drawings for commissions, including Mr. Smith's drawing request (his new medal was shipped yesterday as well). I will mold more medals on Thursday, and paint them over the weekend, sending the next lot, and hopefully the lot that will make me up-to-date on the over 75 medals (well over half to three-quarters done now). The next planned shipping out date will be Next Monday. I apologize if this comes as an inconvenience to some or all of you, but your patience will be rewarded. Thank You, as have a good and safe day.}}

===Owing eBay 300===
[[File:WACS 1.JPG|thumb|right|"WACS: Real American Heroines"]]

{{quotebox|9 October 2014
Hey, everyone. I owe eBay 300, due AFTER THIS COMING WEEKEND!

Please HELP! Buy My Drawn Pieces! I still have like FIVE OF THEM AVAILABLE.
}}

===BMW: Buy My Wheels===
{{quotebox|9 October 2014
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|left|Barb's junker.]]
We are still selling the BMW; Call Barbara at '''(REDACTED)''' to buy it; ONLY If you have $15,000 Cash, And you are Serious and Sincere about it.

1996 BMW Z3 1.9 }}

===Chris Forgets That It's Columbus Day===
{{quotebox|13 October 2014
UGH!!! Who's dumb: Me right now! I've pulled another all-nighter painting, certifying and Almost Done wrapping the Medallions, and I Just Realized, Today is Columbus Day; the Post Offices are Closed for the Holiday!

I will ship out everything tomorrow. An after that, I will take a couple of days off, and then I will catch up with the Commissions (except for Mr. Smith's request, which has been drawn up; That will be shipped tomorrow, so that case can Finally be Closed, and I'll have access to that $30 that has been Stuck in Limbo for Weeks now)!

Aside from that, I Still require another $200 to be able to pay off the $300 Bill on my eBay, and that IS the Minimum Due, on the 15th! Which is why I have made the offer in the post below this one.

So, Please Help Me Here. Thank You, and have a good and safe day.}}

===Too Successful for His Own Good===
{{quotebox|13 October 2014
[[File:Facebook 13 Oct..png|thumb]]
Right: I have just learned the Ironic reason Why my due amount on eBay is that high. Because I made a LOT of sales the past month, counting when I was sinking in having to pay the insurance to drive the Focus, and delays in shipping the medals and things that week. UGH!!! Among the worst weeks of my life there.

Anyway: All I Need to keep my head above the water NOW is the sale of ONE FRAMED PIECE at $150. I know I said $250 earlier, but I was more tired and shocked then, clouded my better judgment; I'm less tired right now.

Again, PLEASE Help Me! Even selling Five Medallions among Five Customers would help me a Lot right now.}}

===Receiving Salvation===
{{quotebox|13 October 2014
Thank you! My head has just been brought above water on the eBay payment! I am going to be able to pay it off, as well as ship everything later today. :)

You all have a great and safe day.}}

===Please Pay for More Commissions===
{{quotebox|15 October 2014
I have just shipped out all of the lot of the medallions. I still have a few more to make, but I am Mostly Caught Up. I will take a few days off, and then catch up on the commission drawings over the coming weekend.

Any New Orders would be most appreciated. I will extend the offer of buying two frames pieces, or a framed piece and a Framed Commission, get $50 back. The offer will last until November 1, 2014.

And now, with Ken's Suggestion: Buy a Medallion, and you are welcome to request of [[Robbie Sonichu]], [[Cera Rosechu]] and [[Christine Rosechu]], as well as either Equality Symbol. So, come on over to the Medallion page, checkout and let me know of your requests within the "Additional Details" field upon checkout.

Thank you, and have a good and safe day.}}

===The Anti-Carcinogenic Properties of Hanky-Panky===
{{quotebox|16 October 2014
[[File:Facebook 16 Oct.png|thumb|right]]
Sex Prevents Cancer?!

[[http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/08/5-reasons-im-proud-to-be-a-slut-adult/]]}}

===Vinyl Scratch Should've Spoke===
{{quotebox|18 October 2014
I just watched [[Equestria Girls|‪#‎RainbowRocks]]‬ on Discovery Family; It was Very Good. Octavia Spoke! But Vinyl did not; Big Bummer! [[Nowacking|‪#‎Nowhacking]]‬ would still make the best voice for Vinyl. I am a Fan of the animations made about the two of them. Their musical relationship is Delightful. And I Loved seeing ‪#‎Derpy‬ on stage, playing a saw; Cute, Sweet and Delightful!}}

===Happy Halloween, Also, Any Parties?===
{{quotebox|19 October 2014
[[File:LegoDerpy.jpg|thumb|right|See how fun-loving I am?]]
Happy [[Halloween]]! Dress Up and have Fun!

Now, can anyone recommend any legitimate and good Halloween Parties in [[Charlottesville]], VA, please?}}

William complained:

{{quoteboxgreen|Does my little pony and legos have to pervade everything you post? Maybe you can find some new interests. Like the Harry Potter Books. They are very much in the spirit of halloween and a good complement to pokemon as the sonic games and cartoons are to Mario. I know of a halloween party in Augusta, Maine.}}

Chris retorted:

{{quotebox| I put the two together, because my Lego Ghosts were out of reach, and I wanted more than the singular Jack-O-Lantern. Oh, My Gosh! What the hell has been screwing your mind up? Weed? Basement Loneliness? WTFH is Wrong with You?!}}

Kenneth Englehardt suggested:

{{quoteboxred|Sometimes one or more of the local radio stations may host a Halloween party. Have you checked with one of them in your area?}}

Chris replied:

{{quotebox|That's an idea.}}

Kim asked:

{{quoteboxgreen|Why is weed relevant?}}

Kenneth opined:

{{quoteboxred|I don't think he literally meant that weed had anything to do with this. It was just said in the tone of being angry.}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|And he gets it right in one guess.}}

Kim:

{{quoteboxgreen|Yeah, but being specific about weed is retarded. It's very dumb.}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|Whatever; I felt it appropriate to William's "pervade"/perverse comment. And the Party I am looking for has to happen in CVille, VA.}}

===Hold Back the Money===
{{quotebox|22 October 2014
[[File:EBay screwjob.jpg|thumb|left]]
Yeah!!! I have been slapped by their computers, because of all these 17 Damn Complaints, thus having my recent $60 Sale Withheld Against me Now! eBay is Screwing Me Over AGAIN, because of Y'all's Impatience and Ignorance!!! Mr. Smith Included!!!}}

===Waiting for Someone to Pick Up===
Chris is inconvenienced by phone operators and naturally blames it on his customers who are providing him with his livelihood.

{{quotebox|22 October 2014
I have been on the phone with eBay for over two hours now, WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO PICK UP!!! I would not be feeling this pissed off and waiting this long, if I had received the positive Feedback I deserved for working my ass off for you all, with the All-Nighters I have pulled Making, Painting and Packing those Medallions for you all! Ugh!!! - <nowiki>|:(</nowiki> feeling annoyed.}}

===eBay Issues Resolved===
{{quotebox|23 October 2014
Yeah, it is mostly sorted out now; please do not let my inconveniences defray you all from ordering. Your Business is Very Much Appreciated. :)}}

===Snoopy, Cereal, and LGBTQ===
Chris tactfully deems the fictitious sentiments of a cartoon dog and the bottom of a cereal box to be highly relevant to the plight of systematically oppressed people the world over.

{{quotebox|24 October 2014
For the LGBTQ, and ‪#‎HRC‬; Snoopy, with Schultz, says something appropriate for all of us.

And Lucky Charms says something awesome on their box bottom too.

Both of which brings a
smile to me, and I hope they bring a smile to y'all too.

Have a good and safe day.

<center><gallery>
File:Facebook 24 Oct B.jpg
File:Facebook 24 Oct C.jpg
File:Facebook 24 Oct D.jpg
</gallery></center>}}

===Chris Discovers GamerGate===
Chris discovers the GamerGate movement after reading the [[Wikipedia:Gamergate controversy|Wikipedia article]] on it. GamerGate as a movement could warrant having its own dedicated wiki, but for the sake of precursory knowledge and context, GamerGate is argued by its supporters to be a movement against corrupt journalism and favoritism in the games industry regarding coverage, and by its detractors as an inherently misogynistic movement which only seeks to exclude women from the video game industry.

Chris deems it to be the latter, and decries the [[trolls]], cyberbullies and [[JERKS]] whom he believes to be participating in GamerGate. Owing to his recent identification as a woman, it can be safely assumed that this statement was motivated by [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]] and his desire to play the victim.

{{quotebox|25 October 2014
I have just been clued into the topic of GamerGate. After finding its page on the Wikipedia, apparently female gamers and creators are getting a bad rap, and it has been made worse as of just this last August.

I, personally, see no problem in women and girls playing or creating video games, and being their own avatar of choice of either gender, creature or whatever. I, myself, really like playing as my own female avatars, including, but not limited to, my own Mii on my [[Nintendo|3DS and WiiU]]. (The Tomodachi Life photo amongst this set is actually a cap from SSB3DS, NOT Tomodachi Life).

Anyway, this form of misogyny amongst the Gamers, as well as the DAMN Internet Trolls and CyberBullies who are taking part of this GamerGate as well, Plain Pisses Me Off as well!

This Cruelty to women and all people in general Must Be Stopped and Put To An End! I stand with you all, my Sisters and [[Gal-Pals]], very much.

Thank You.

‪#‎GamerGate
<center><gallery>
File:Mii 13.jpg
File:Mii 12.jpg
File:Mii 9.jpg
File:Mii 10.jpg
</gallery></center>}}

===The Cure for Autism===
Chris rants about finding the cure for autism and equates having it to being [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]]. He also personifies autism by creating a Mii for it and proceeds to beat it up in Super Smash Bros. It seems that his habit of personifying his [[Mary Lee Walsh|enemies]] and [[Soul Calibur|beating them up in video games]] isn't just limited to people, but also includes neurological disorders.

{{quotebox|25 October 2014
Also, I REALLY Want to put an end to [[Autism]], because it still bothers me with my own curse of the Mental Handicap. Where is that Cure for Autism? I want to do More than let it overpower me at my vulnerable mental blank-out moments, as well as just beating the crap out of it in Smash Bros.

Autism Speaks; so, Please Find The Cure!!!

‪#‎AutismSpeaks
<center><gallery>
File:Mii 0.jpg
File:Mii 8.jpg
File:Mii 7.jpg
File:Mii 6.jpg
File:Mii 5.jpg
File:Mii 4.jpg
File:Mii 3.jpg
File:Mii 2.jpg
File:Mii.jpg|Chris's personification of autism.
</gallery></center>‬}}

===Temple Grandin Excites Chris===
{{quotebox|27 October 2014
[[File:Facebook 27 Oct.png|thumb|Chris shared this photo]]
Oh, My Gosh! [[Wikipedia: Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] is coming to Virginia?! If I can afford it, I would Definitely Go there for her speech, and be delighted to meet her as well. I have enjoyed the movie HBO created of her life. She is a positive inspiration to all Autistic People!}}

He added:

{{quotebox|
And this is just crazy that I learn this shortly after talking about fighting Autism (at least in Smash Bros.)}}

Ultimately Chris will be unable to come up with the cash to attend the conference.

===Chris's Poorly-Done ''Family Guy'' Screenshot===
Chris took a photograph of his computer monitor playing the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "Baking Bad" on Hulu Plus, and posted:

{{quotebox|28 October 2014
[[File:Family Guy mirror.jpg|thumb|left]]
This is now one of my Favorite "Family Guy" Jokes! Bringing in the reflection and tricking it!}}

===Nope, He Doesn't Forgive Mr. Smith===
{{quotebox|28 October 2014
eBay is TERRIBLE! If it was Not the only default place to sell online with the such easy to remember name of eBay, I would take my Selling Business Elsewhere! They place Vulgar Labels of "Below Standard" on sellers, as Withhold Funds from getting into Your Own PayPal Account. I freaking Do Not Like eBay as a Selling Facility! I would give them Only Half a Star out of Five.

Do NOT Sell on eBay if you have not already started doing that already. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>

<nowiki>#eBay</nowiki>
}}

Chris then linked to an ''Animation Domination High Def'' YouTube video called "Every Day is Scary," about the tribulations of adulthood.

{{quotebox|28 October 2014
Yep! And when someone opens a damn case against me, eBay withholding funds from me, artist inspiration running slow, sensory overloads, the darn mind going blank, falling into the Red in my PayPal Bank, impatient greedy sons of b****es, leaving bad feedback sending me "Blow Standard", I need a Direct-to-PayPal selling page, eliminate the middle-man sage...UGH!!! It is All Too Much!

[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaL8JyJIuOA]]}}

But then everything is better again.

{{quotebox|28 October 2014
Spirit Plumber is generous. He has just loaned me some money to get me out of another financial jam that has [message cut off--incomplete]}}

===Chris Hits Up a Gay Bar... Seriously===
Chris dons some purple leggings, a dress made for someone half his size and a floral headband and ruins a Halloween party at the local gay bar.

{{quotebox| 31 October 2014
Groovy 70's Lesbian Chic enjoying the beats at [[Impulse Gay Social-Club]]!

<nowiki/>#SpiritHalloween

[[File:Chris_at_a_gay_bar.jpg]]}}

William Elliot Waterman:
{{quoteboxgreen|
good halloween costume :)}}

Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt:
{{quoteboxred|
Hot damn Christian. What an elegant tom-girl you are.}}

===Club review===
At 10:58pm, probably while he was still at the Impulse Gay Social-Club, Chris helpfully offered a review, giving it four out of five stars:

{{quotebox|31 December 2014
The show tonight has been good; I've enjoyed the ladies here; great views. They could turn the speaker volume down a few decibels; that's what cost them that fifth star from me.}}

==Comments by Chris==

===Britney Spears===
On 1 October, Chris responds to a Facebook comment about [[Britney Spears]] on the website Women'sHealth, regarding an article headline in which Spears says, "I don't think you need a man in this world anymore."
{{quotebox| 1 October 2014

Well, I only Half-Agree with that headline statement. I feel disagreement on that, because to make the traditional couple, a woman and a man; well, he makes up half of it. Plus, Reproduction for Future Generations. And then there is the opposing side in the discussions between the two genders.

I Agree, because, moreover, Most [[JERKS|Males]] in this world are [[Chris and writing|Boring]], [[Honor Roll|Dull]], [[Women's Rights|Mentally Prehisoric]], [[Chris and anger|Immature]], [[Chris and remorse|Inconsiderate of Others, Lack of emotion AND empathy, they don't care]], [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|they like to bully other people]], regardless, and then even worse!

"What are you saying, You're a Male?"

I am a Female and Lesbian Spirit/Soul Trapped in this Assigned Male Body; I am a Full On Lesbian Transgender.

Actually, let me rephrase it: I one-quarter disagree, and three-quarters Agree with that statement!

All of US People need to be able to find self-confidence in ourselves individually; I have found some in myself recently after coming out as a Lesbian Transgender, and mingling with my Lesbian, Transgender and Bisexual peeps in the LGBTQ Community. Although, to feel totally complete, I still feel need for my [[Catherine|Sweetheart/Heartthrob/Girlfriend/Partner]], who right now is enjoying herself, and hopefully Staying Safe and Well. She is Very Strong Emotionally, and Strong-Willed, Very Smart, and she is Very Sexy and Beautiful in Looks AND Spirit/Soul with her Kind Heart and Everything!

My need for my partner to help complete me, and me to complete her; completing each other, for our basic needs for Emotional Supports and Strengths, may be conflicting to the Self-Confidence Britney Spears is inspiring, but it is just part of Who I Am as an Individual Person.

[[My Little Pony|Friendships Are Most Magical]] for the same Emotional and Strength Supports we all individually require too. And all in all, it is a LOT Better being able to come home to your Sweetheart and Partner, than to have no one at home and feeling most lonely and further depressed. And I feel very sorry for everyone who are not blessed or lucky to have someone at home, Anywhere, who has your heart and soul and well-being under their care, as one would mutually of the other.

Love IS a Battlefield, but the battles are most worth fighting for!

http://whm.ag/1vtl15n}}

This sparked a debate between two of Chris's friends on gender. William asked:

{{quoteboxgreen|Why do males not feel empathy?}}

Kim disagreed with Chris:

{{quoteboxred|You're kind of mistaken here. Statistically, there's no difference between men and women in the ways you describe. The problem for you Chris is that, due to your autism, you're not picking up on the more subtle ways females are disparaging you. They're laughing at you too, just in ways you're not picking up. Understand what I'm saying?}}

William responded to Kim:

{{quoteboxgreen|Did you say males are un-subtle?}}

Kim:

{{quoteboxred| I can't really speak for other countries, but there's a trend in the US for women (particularly in high school) to be more subtle. I'm not really commenting on anyone in particular.}}

William:

{{quoteboxgreen|You still go to highschool? How do you know this? I got my high school diploma 9 years ago (in AMURIKA) and the world felt different then.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I just wanna know why I can't be an empath like all the harry potter fanfiction mary sues with empathy powers.}}

Kim:

{{quoteboxred| I went to high school a while ago. A boy in high school will call you a faggot. A girl in high school will use more elaborate phrasing to insult you, phrasing that Chris would have trouble picking up on.}}

William:

{{quoteboxgreen|What kind of idiot just says "faggot" and expects the other person to care at all?}}

Kim:

{{quoteboxred|Teenagers.}}

Chris finally stepped in:

{{quotebox|If y'all will pause the back and forth for a moment.}}
{{quotebox|I would pick up on such in their tones for sarcasm. I have known More Women to not be mean or sarcastic. I did not say ALL Males were that bad; I said Most of them.

In any case, I speak from my own experiences and understandings. My intentions in my wording were meant to be for good and neutral; I did nor do not mean to imply anything of bigoted or similar nature. I am certainly Not a bad person like that at all.

I was only stating a reasonable set of points and facts in response to what Britney Spears was talking about; No More. End of Story.}}

Kim:

{{quoteboxred|And saying "most" is also incorrect. It's not sarcasm that you can't pick up on, it's deception at all. It's not that you can't pick up on it, it's that it's harder for you to pick up on it. So there's a huge percentage of deceptive practices you're missing.}}

William:

{{quoteboxgreen|You didn't answer my question. "Bad" is not equivalent to "no empathy." Why do you think men don't have empathy? How is that even possible? I couldn't even enjoy a good book without a sense of empathy.}}

But of course, Chris is too stupid for protracted rational argument, and had to bow out:

{{quotebox|I prefer to see the positives in most people anyway; I remain civil and tolerant to everyone, unless they give me reason for ill will at all.

I am painting the medals right now, and my mind is already too riddles to be able to process this dispute further.}}

===Breast Cancer Awareness===
On 1 October 2014, Chris reviewed "Breast Cancer Awareness," giving it five out of five stars.

===UVA LGBTQ Center review===
On 16 October 2014, Chris reviewed the UVA LGBTQ Center, giving it five out of five stars.

===Did he discuss his new piercing?===
On 22 October 2014, Chris noted in his status that he was "Going to Queer Health: Thrive in the Center."

{{Social media}}

[[Category:Facebook|* 2014-10]]

October 2014 Facebook Posts

2023-07-25T00:57:23Z

Sandubadear: /* Chris Hits Up a Gay Bar... Seriously */

The following are a series of posts by Chris on [[Facebook]] in [[October 2014]].

==Summary==
* 1 October - Chris provides yet more thrilling news about his [[medallion]] production.
* 1 October - Chris issues [[death threats]] against [[SEGA|Sega]] for their alterations to [[Sonic Boom Protests|the color of Sonic's arms]].
* 1 October - Chris offers opinions about [[Britney Spears]] and relationships.
* 4 October - Chris apologizes to [[Catherine]].
* 5 October - Chris gives an update on his medallion sales.
* 8 October - Another medallion update.
* 9 October - Chris wants someone to buy [[Barb|his mother]]'s car.
* 13 October - Yet another medallion update. Chris is in financial trouble.
* 15 October - Another medallion update.
* 16 October - Chris does research on sluts and sex.
* 18 October - Chris gives a movie review.
* 19 October - Chris asks for an invitation to a [[Halloween]] party.
* 22-23 October - Chris rants about [[eBay]] problems.
* 24 October - Chris sends positive messages to the oppressed of the world.
* 25 October - Chris offers opinions on GamerGate and [[autism]].
* 27 October - Chris hopes to see Temple Grandin.
* 28 October - Chris complains about eBay and the stresses of adulthood.
* 31 October - Chris visits a [[Impulse Gay Social Club|gay bar]].

==Posts by Chris==
===Medallion Listing Update===
{{quotebox|1 October 2014

My, My! The [[Medallion]] Listing ended with the last quantity number sold. No worries, people, I will have it relisted ASAP, when [[eBay]] refreshes my monthly Listing Allowance.

In the meantime, everyone can still get a Medallion for Free with purchase of a Framed Piece, [[Commissions|Commission]] with the Works, and a Colored Commission. And I will now offer a Two-For-One Special through the B&W Listing; Free Medal with Purchase of a B&W Commission, and y'all may request a Medallion in lieu of a Commission Drawing. That is like buying Two Medallions for 1 2/3 of the total price.

I will extend the offer until when I am able to Relist the Medallions. I sincerely apologize for any inconveniences, and I thank you all for your understanding and patience.}}

===More Medallion Listing Updates===
{{quotebox|1 October 2014
Alright! I had 21 Medallions Molded and near ready! I ran out of Leather Straps again, so I was forced to stop at 18. So 18 Medallions were given their Tracking Numbers and shipped out this morning. I pulled another all-nighter last night, and I slept from about 6 or 7:30 AM to 3:50 PM. I am taking the rest of today and tomorrow off, and I will mold more medallions on Friday and the weekend. The next planned shipping day will be this coming Monday. And I have not forgotten anyone; I keep a hand-written record from all of the sales, so I am good there, and I update it shortly after new sales have been made.

Thank you all for your patience, patronage and good will.}}

===Chris Rips Sonic's Arms Off===
Chris uploads a couple of pictures of himself frowning deeply and brandishing a plush [[Sonic]]. Of note is the filthiness of his receding [[hair]] and the fact that despite being made for a female, the shirt he is wearing does not properly contain his [[Obesity|breasts]] (or indeed the rest of his torso). He issues a [[death threats|death threat]] to every single person working at Sega.

{{quotebox|1 October 2014
[[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic's Arms Are Not BLUE!!!]] You all continue to make me most Angry with this Most Criminal Of Changes In History EVER!!!

You Either Recall EVERYTHING of the New Sonic Boom, RIGHT NOW, or I will Seriously (not) RIP HIS ARMS OFF and Seriously (WILL) Watch You All At SEGA DIE from this Heinous Of Crimes EVER!!!

[[File:Chrischan_oct14.jpg|220px]]
[[File:Chrischan_oct14_2.jpg|250px]]}}
[[William Elliott Waterman|William]] then called him out for his ridiculous overreaction:

{{quoteboxgreen|Chris, you're not serious.}}

Chris replied:

{{quotebox|I AM!!! And I have already messages the Sonic the Hedgehog Page with these photos and the same message.}}
{{quotebox|Do I look NOT Serious?}}

William:

{{quoteboxgreen|It's ridiculous. Why do you think sega will care if you're going to (not) rip the arms off of a sonic plush doll?}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|I am making MY Statement on the matter!}}

William:

{{quoteboxgreen|Sonic Boom is just another dumb cartoon, like Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog, SatAM, Sonic X, and that underground drivel. It means nothing to the canon of the character design in the games.}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|It means EVERYTHING TO ME, to SONIC'S History, TO EVERY HARDCORE SONIC THE HEDGEHOG FAN!!!}}

William:

{{quoteboxgreen|Just ignore it. Sonic Boom. Is. Not. Canon.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|You sound like Richard Kuta and Spax3 right now (they destroyed their own lives by complaining about sonic's voice and eye color).}}
{{quoteboxgreen|What about Sonic 2006? That was canon. Look at what it did to Sonic's reputation for the rest of time after it was released. Why don't you complain about that game?}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|Gaming content does not matter here! And neither is Cannon or Not Cannon (I Really Hate that definition of Cannon).

And for your information, in my normal mental state, I would not rip the arms off; I prefer not to lie. But the Blue Arms make me feel SUPER ANGRY, that I WOULD RIP THE ARMS OFF OF IT!!!}}
{{quotebox|And, I corrected the arm color with [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Model Magic]]. NO LAUGHING!!! >:(}}

===I Love You, Catherine===
Chris makes a remorseful post for his [[sweetheart]] [[Catherine]] with a link to an accompanying [[I Love You, Catherine|video]]. In it, he apologizes for having characteristically assumed the worst of a [[Colin|male friend]] of hers and reveals he is in an "open relationship."

{{quotebox|4 October 2014
I deepestly [[Chris and remorse|apologize]] to Catherine for the recent mistakes that I have made. I apologize to Colin for assuming him to be as bad as a rapist, as well as, more accurately, a womanizer who takes advantage. And I apologize to Shaina for getting her involved as a back-and-forth messenger, and I thank her for all that she has done there. And I most deeply thank Catherine for continuing to care about and love me, as I care for and love her very much. I still am learning about how to behave in an open relationship, and I promise to learn from my mistakes to become a better Lesbian Transgender Sweetheart and Partner for her and our future in our relationship together.

And to the Person (Troll) who has found the [[Three-Quarter Woman|"Three-Quarter Woman"]] Mix CD, Please mail that back to me, well packaged and marked fragile, to my home address of [[14 Branchland Court|14 Branchland Ct.]] [[Ruckersville]], VA 22968-9545, so I can return it directly to Catherine as soon as possible after having it returned. Thank You.}}

[[Kim Wilson]] then replied:

{{quoteboxred|Christian Weston Chandler It takes a [[JERK|man]] to apologize for his mistakes. Good job!}}

William agreed:

{{quoteboxgreen|I don't even know who these people are (and you labeled that guy some serious things), but good job manning up.}}

===Blake Sonichu Medallion===
{{quotebox |5 October 2014
I may be confused, but I feel need to check: has anyone ordered a [[Blake]] (Black Sonichu) Medallion recently?

Please PM me on my eBay Profile Immediately to verify, and so I can properly list it next to your name an address on my hand-written records. Thank You.

Have a good and safe day.
}}

===Finished Molding 15 Medallions===
{{quotebox |5 October 2014
Good news, I have just finished molding 15 Medallions. I had three more that were unable to be shipped last time, because I ran out of leather strap material. I will be painting starting this coming afternoon, and I will have a total of 18 medals to ship out. And, by the way, I was already more than halfway through the total count of over 70 medallions. After getting the remaining nine, plus 10 for my special friends, made and shipped by the end of this week, I will go back to the Commissions, and have them drawn up and ready to be shipped hopefully the following Monday.

Also, I will tell everyone who is getting the Number One Medal, which is a [[Silvana Rosechu]] Medallion for my Best Customer.}}

William then replied:

{{quoteboxgreen|Is it me? Silvana is one of your greatest creations. That, and maybe a [[Yawning Squirtle|yawning squirtle]] medallion would be awesome.}}

===Shipping the Medallions===
{{quotebox|8 October 2014

I have shipped the recent lot of medallions yesterday, plus two [[autographed photos|photographs]]. I am feeling groggy in my head right now; I've been wrapping my brain on other more local issues to me.

Anyhow, I am taking a break for the few days; I will try to get some drawings for commissions, including Mr. Smith's drawing request (his new medal was shipped yesterday as well). I will mold more medals on Thursday, and paint them over the weekend, sending the next lot, and hopefully the lot that will make me up-to-date on the over 75 medals (well over half to three-quarters done now). The next planned shipping out date will be Next Monday. I apologize if this comes as an inconvenience to some or all of you, but your patience will be rewarded. Thank You, as have a good and safe day.}}

===Owing eBay 300===
[[File:WACS 1.JPG|thumb|right|"WACS: Real American Heroines"]]

{{quotebox|9 October 2014
Hey, everyone. I owe eBay 300, due AFTER THIS COMING WEEKEND!

Please HELP! Buy My Drawn Pieces! I still have like FIVE OF THEM AVAILABLE.
}}

===BMW: Buy My Wheels===
{{quotebox|9 October 2014
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|left|Barb's junker.]]
We are still selling the BMW; Call Barbara at '''(REDACTED)''' to buy it; ONLY If you have $15,000 Cash, And you are Serious and Sincere about it.

1996 BMW Z3 1.9 }}

===Chris Forgets That It's Columbus Day===
{{quotebox|13 October 2014
UGH!!! Who's dumb: Me right now! I've pulled another all-nighter painting, certifying and Almost Done wrapping the Medallions, and I Just Realized, Today is Columbus Day; the Post Offices are Closed for the Holiday!

I will ship out everything tomorrow. An after that, I will take a couple of days off, and then I will catch up with the Commissions (except for Mr. Smith's request, which has been drawn up; That will be shipped tomorrow, so that case can Finally be Closed, and I'll have access to that $30 that has been Stuck in Limbo for Weeks now)!

Aside from that, I Still require another $200 to be able to pay off the $300 Bill on my eBay, and that IS the Minimum Due, on the 15th! Which is why I have made the offer in the post below this one.

So, Please Help Me Here. Thank You, and have a good and safe day.}}

===Too Successful for His Own Good===
{{quotebox|13 October 2014
[[File:Facebook 13 Oct..png|thumb]]
Right: I have just learned the Ironic reason Why my due amount on eBay is that high. Because I made a LOT of sales the past month, counting when I was sinking in having to pay the insurance to drive the Focus, and delays in shipping the medals and things that week. UGH!!! Among the worst weeks of my life there.

Anyway: All I Need to keep my head above the water NOW is the sale of ONE FRAMED PIECE at $150. I know I said $250 earlier, but I was more tired and shocked then, clouded my better judgment; I'm less tired right now.

Again, PLEASE Help Me! Even selling Five Medallions among Five Customers would help me a Lot right now.}}

===Receiving Salvation===
{{quotebox|13 October 2014
Thank you! My head has just been brought above water on the eBay payment! I am going to be able to pay it off, as well as ship everything later today. :)

You all have a great and safe day.}}

===Please Pay for More Commissions===
{{quotebox|15 October 2014
I have just shipped out all of the lot of the medallions. I still have a few more to make, but I am Mostly Caught Up. I will take a few days off, and then catch up on the commission drawings over the coming weekend.

Any New Orders would be most appreciated. I will extend the offer of buying two frames pieces, or a framed piece and a Framed Commission, get $50 back. The offer will last until November 1, 2014.

And now, with Ken's Suggestion: Buy a Medallion, and you are welcome to request of [[Robbie Sonichu]], [[Cera Rosechu]] and [[Christine Rosechu]], as well as either Equality Symbol. So, come on over to the Medallion page, checkout and let me know of your requests within the "Additional Details" field upon checkout.

Thank you, and have a good and safe day.}}

===The Anti-Carcinogenic Properties of Hanky-Panky===
{{quotebox|16 October 2014
[[File:Facebook 16 Oct.png|thumb|right]]
Sex Prevents Cancer?!

[[http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/08/5-reasons-im-proud-to-be-a-slut-adult/]]}}

===Vinyl Scratch Should've Spoke===
{{quotebox|18 October 2014
I just watched [[Equestria Girls|‪#‎RainbowRocks]]‬ on Discovery Family; It was Very Good. Octavia Spoke! But Vinyl did not; Big Bummer! [[Nowacking|‪#‎Nowhacking]]‬ would still make the best voice for Vinyl. I am a Fan of the animations made about the two of them. Their musical relationship is Delightful. And I Loved seeing ‪#‎Derpy‬ on stage, playing a saw; Cute, Sweet and Delightful!}}

===Happy Halloween, Also, Any Parties?===
{{quotebox|19 October 2014
[[File:LegoDerpy.jpg|thumb|right|See how fun-loving I am?]]
Happy [[Halloween]]! Dress Up and have Fun!

Now, can anyone recommend any legitimate and good Halloween Parties in [[Charlottesville]], VA, please?}}

William complained:

{{quoteboxgreen|Does my little pony and legos have to pervade everything you post? Maybe you can find some new interests. Like the Harry Potter Books. They are very much in the spirit of halloween and a good complement to pokemon as the sonic games and cartoons are to Mario. I know of a halloween party in Augusta, Maine.}}

Chris retorted:

{{quotebox| I put the two together, because my Lego Ghosts were out of reach, and I wanted more than the singular Jack-O-Lantern. Oh, My Gosh! What the hell has been screwing your mind up? Weed? Basement Loneliness? WTFH is Wrong with You?!}}

Kenneth Englehardt suggested:

{{quoteboxred|Sometimes one or more of the local radio stations may host a Halloween party. Have you checked with one of them in your area?}}

Chris replied:

{{quotebox|That's an idea.}}

Kim asked:

{{quoteboxgreen|Why is weed relevant?}}

Kenneth opined:

{{quoteboxred|I don't think he literally meant that weed had anything to do with this. It was just said in the tone of being angry.}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|And he gets it right in one guess.}}

Kim:

{{quoteboxgreen|Yeah, but being specific about weed is retarded. It's very dumb.}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|Whatever; I felt it appropriate to William's "pervade"/perverse comment. And the Party I am looking for has to happen in CVille, VA.}}

===Hold Back the Money===
{{quotebox|22 October 2014
[[File:EBay screwjob.jpg|thumb|left]]
Yeah!!! I have been slapped by their computers, because of all these 17 Damn Complaints, thus having my recent $60 Sale Withheld Against me Now! eBay is Screwing Me Over AGAIN, because of Y'all's Impatience and Ignorance!!! Mr. Smith Included!!!}}

===Waiting for Someone to Pick Up===
Chris is inconvenienced by phone operators and naturally blames it on his customers who are providing him with his livelihood.

{{quotebox|22 October 2014
I have been on the phone with eBay for over two hours now, WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO PICK UP!!! I would not be feeling this pissed off and waiting this long, if I had received the positive Feedback I deserved for working my ass off for you all, with the All-Nighters I have pulled Making, Painting and Packing those Medallions for you all! Ugh!!! - <nowiki>|:(</nowiki> feeling annoyed.}}

===eBay Issues Resolved===
{{quotebox|23 October 2014
Yeah, it is mostly sorted out now; please do not let my inconveniences defray you all from ordering. Your Business is Very Much Appreciated. :)}}

===Snoopy, Cereal, and LGBTQ===
Chris tactfully deems the fictitious sentiments of a cartoon dog and the bottom of a cereal box to be highly relevant to the plight of systematically oppressed people the world over.

{{quotebox|24 October 2014
For the LGBTQ, and ‪#‎HRC‬; Snoopy, with Schultz, says something appropriate for all of us.

And Lucky Charms says something awesome on their box bottom too.

Both of which brings a
smile to me, and I hope they bring a smile to y'all too.

Have a good and safe day.

<center><gallery>
File:Facebook 24 Oct B.jpg
File:Facebook 24 Oct C.jpg
File:Facebook 24 Oct D.jpg
</gallery></center>}}

===Chris Discovers GamerGate===
Chris discovers the GamerGate movement after reading the [[Wikipedia:Gamergate controversy|Wikipedia article]] on it. GamerGate as a movement could warrant having its own dedicated wiki, but for the sake of precursory knowledge and context, GamerGate is argued by its supporters to be a movement against corrupt journalism and favoritism in the games industry regarding coverage, and by its detractors as an inherently misogynistic movement which only seeks to exclude women from the video game industry.

Chris deems it to be the latter, and decries the [[trolls]], cyberbullies and [[JERKS]] whom he believes to be participating in GamerGate. Owing to his recent identification as a woman, it can be safely assumed that this statement was motivated by [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]] and his desire to play the victim.

{{quotebox|25 October 2014
I have just been clued into the topic of GamerGate. After finding its page on the Wikipedia, apparently female gamers and creators are getting a bad rap, and it has been made worse as of just this last August.

I, personally, see no problem in women and girls playing or creating video games, and being their own avatar of choice of either gender, creature or whatever. I, myself, really like playing as my own female avatars, including, but not limited to, my own Mii on my [[Nintendo|3DS and WiiU]]. (The Tomodachi Life photo amongst this set is actually a cap from SSB3DS, NOT Tomodachi Life).

Anyway, this form of misogyny amongst the Gamers, as well as the DAMN Internet Trolls and CyberBullies who are taking part of this GamerGate as well, Plain Pisses Me Off as well!

This Cruelty to women and all people in general Must Be Stopped and Put To An End! I stand with you all, my Sisters and [[Gal-Pals]], very much.

Thank You.

‪#‎GamerGate
<center><gallery>
File:Mii 13.jpg
File:Mii 12.jpg
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File:Mii 10.jpg
</gallery></center>}}

===The Cure for Autism===
Chris rants about finding the cure for autism and equates having it to being [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]]. He also personifies autism by creating a Mii for it and proceeds to beat it up in Super Smash Bros. It seems that his habit of personifying his [[Mary Lee Walsh|enemies]] and [[Soul Calibur|beating them up in video games]] isn't just limited to people, but also includes neurological disorders.

{{quotebox|25 October 2014
Also, I REALLY Want to put an end to [[Autism]], because it still bothers me with my own curse of the Mental Handicap. Where is that Cure for Autism? I want to do More than let it overpower me at my vulnerable mental blank-out moments, as well as just beating the crap out of it in Smash Bros.

Autism Speaks; so, Please Find The Cure!!!

‪#‎AutismSpeaks
<center><gallery>
File:Mii 0.jpg
File:Mii 8.jpg
File:Mii 7.jpg
File:Mii 6.jpg
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File:Mii 2.jpg
File:Mii.jpg|Chris's personification of autism.
</gallery></center>‬}}

===Temple Grandin Excites Chris===
{{quotebox|27 October 2014
[[File:Facebook 27 Oct.png|thumb|Chris shared this photo]]
Oh, My Gosh! [[Wikipedia: Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] is coming to Virginia?! If I can afford it, I would Definitely Go there for her speech, and be delighted to meet her as well. I have enjoyed the movie HBO created of her life. She is a positive inspiration to all Autistic People!}}

He added:

{{quotebox|
And this is just crazy that I learn this shortly after talking about fighting Autism (at least in Smash Bros.)}}

Ultimately Chris will be unable to come up with the cash to attend the conference.

===Chris's Poorly-Done ''Family Guy'' Screenshot===
Chris took a photograph of his computer monitor playing the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "Baking Bad" on Hulu Plus, and posted:

{{quotebox|28 October 2014
[[File:Family Guy mirror.jpg|thumb|left]]
This is now one of my Favorite "Family Guy" Jokes! Bringing in the reflection and tricking it!}}

===Nope, He Doesn't Forgive Mr. Smith===
{{quotebox|28 October 2014
eBay is TERRIBLE! If it was Not the only default place to sell online with the such easy to remember name of eBay, I would take my Selling Business Elsewhere! They place Vulgar Labels of "Below Standard" on sellers, as Withhold Funds from getting into Your Own PayPal Account. I freaking Do Not Like eBay as a Selling Facility! I would give them Only Half a Star out of Five.

Do NOT Sell on eBay if you have not already started doing that already. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>

<nowiki>#eBay</nowiki>
}}

Chris then linked to an ''Animation Domination High Def'' YouTube video called "Every Day is Scary," about the tribulations of adulthood.

{{quotebox|28 October 2014
Yep! And when someone opens a damn case against me, eBay withholding funds from me, artist inspiration running slow, sensory overloads, the darn mind going blank, falling into the Red in my PayPal Bank, impatient greedy sons of b****es, leaving bad feedback sending me "Blow Standard", I need a Direct-to-PayPal selling page, eliminate the middle-man sage...UGH!!! It is All Too Much!

[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaL8JyJIuOA]]}}

But then everything is better again.

{{quotebox|28 October 2014
Spirit Plumber is generous. He has just loaned me some money to get me out of another financial jam that has [message cut off--incomplete]}}

===Chris Hits Up a Gay Bar... Seriously===
Chris dons some purple leggings, a dress made for someone half his size and a floral headband and ruins a Halloween party at the local gay bar.

{{quotebox| 31 October 2014
Groovy 70's Lesbian Chic enjoying the beats at [[Impulse Gay Social-Club]]!

<nowiki/>#SpiritHalloween
[[File:Chris_at_a_gay_bar.jpg]]}}

William Elliot Waterman:
{{quoteboxgreen|
good halloween costume :)}}

Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt:
{{quoteboxred|
Hot damn Christian. What an elegant tom-girl you are.}}

===Club review===
At 10:58pm, probably while he was still at the Impulse Gay Social-Club, Chris helpfully offered a review, giving it four out of five stars:

{{quotebox|31 December 2014
The show tonight has been good; I've enjoyed the ladies here; great views. They could turn the speaker volume down a few decibels; that's what cost them that fifth star from me.}}

==Comments by Chris==

===Britney Spears===
On 1 October, Chris responds to a Facebook comment about [[Britney Spears]] on the website Women'sHealth, regarding an article headline in which Spears says, "I don't think you need a man in this world anymore."
{{quotebox| 1 October 2014

Well, I only Half-Agree with that headline statement. I feel disagreement on that, because to make the traditional couple, a woman and a man; well, he makes up half of it. Plus, Reproduction for Future Generations. And then there is the opposing side in the discussions between the two genders.

I Agree, because, moreover, Most [[JERKS|Males]] in this world are [[Chris and writing|Boring]], [[Honor Roll|Dull]], [[Women's Rights|Mentally Prehisoric]], [[Chris and anger|Immature]], [[Chris and remorse|Inconsiderate of Others, Lack of emotion AND empathy, they don't care]], [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|they like to bully other people]], regardless, and then even worse!

"What are you saying, You're a Male?"

I am a Female and Lesbian Spirit/Soul Trapped in this Assigned Male Body; I am a Full On Lesbian Transgender.

Actually, let me rephrase it: I one-quarter disagree, and three-quarters Agree with that statement!

All of US People need to be able to find self-confidence in ourselves individually; I have found some in myself recently after coming out as a Lesbian Transgender, and mingling with my Lesbian, Transgender and Bisexual peeps in the LGBTQ Community. Although, to feel totally complete, I still feel need for my [[Catherine|Sweetheart/Heartthrob/Girlfriend/Partner]], who right now is enjoying herself, and hopefully Staying Safe and Well. She is Very Strong Emotionally, and Strong-Willed, Very Smart, and she is Very Sexy and Beautiful in Looks AND Spirit/Soul with her Kind Heart and Everything!

My need for my partner to help complete me, and me to complete her; completing each other, for our basic needs for Emotional Supports and Strengths, may be conflicting to the Self-Confidence Britney Spears is inspiring, but it is just part of Who I Am as an Individual Person.

[[My Little Pony|Friendships Are Most Magical]] for the same Emotional and Strength Supports we all individually require too. And all in all, it is a LOT Better being able to come home to your Sweetheart and Partner, than to have no one at home and feeling most lonely and further depressed. And I feel very sorry for everyone who are not blessed or lucky to have someone at home, Anywhere, who has your heart and soul and well-being under their care, as one would mutually of the other.

Love IS a Battlefield, but the battles are most worth fighting for!

http://whm.ag/1vtl15n}}

This sparked a debate between two of Chris's friends on gender. William asked:

{{quoteboxgreen|Why do males not feel empathy?}}

Kim disagreed with Chris:

{{quoteboxred|You're kind of mistaken here. Statistically, there's no difference between men and women in the ways you describe. The problem for you Chris is that, due to your autism, you're not picking up on the more subtle ways females are disparaging you. They're laughing at you too, just in ways you're not picking up. Understand what I'm saying?}}

William responded to Kim:

{{quoteboxgreen|Did you say males are un-subtle?}}

Kim:

{{quoteboxred| I can't really speak for other countries, but there's a trend in the US for women (particularly in high school) to be more subtle. I'm not really commenting on anyone in particular.}}

William:

{{quoteboxgreen|You still go to highschool? How do you know this? I got my high school diploma 9 years ago (in AMURIKA) and the world felt different then.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I just wanna know why I can't be an empath like all the harry potter fanfiction mary sues with empathy powers.}}

Kim:

{{quoteboxred| I went to high school a while ago. A boy in high school will call you a faggot. A girl in high school will use more elaborate phrasing to insult you, phrasing that Chris would have trouble picking up on.}}

William:

{{quoteboxgreen|What kind of idiot just says "faggot" and expects the other person to care at all?}}

Kim:

{{quoteboxred|Teenagers.}}

Chris finally stepped in:

{{quotebox|If y'all will pause the back and forth for a moment.}}
{{quotebox|I would pick up on such in their tones for sarcasm. I have known More Women to not be mean or sarcastic. I did not say ALL Males were that bad; I said Most of them.

In any case, I speak from my own experiences and understandings. My intentions in my wording were meant to be for good and neutral; I did nor do not mean to imply anything of bigoted or similar nature. I am certainly Not a bad person like that at all.

I was only stating a reasonable set of points and facts in response to what Britney Spears was talking about; No More. End of Story.}}

Kim:

{{quoteboxred|And saying "most" is also incorrect. It's not sarcasm that you can't pick up on, it's deception at all. It's not that you can't pick up on it, it's that it's harder for you to pick up on it. So there's a huge percentage of deceptive practices you're missing.}}

William:

{{quoteboxgreen|You didn't answer my question. "Bad" is not equivalent to "no empathy." Why do you think men don't have empathy? How is that even possible? I couldn't even enjoy a good book without a sense of empathy.}}

But of course, Chris is too stupid for protracted rational argument, and had to bow out:

{{quotebox|I prefer to see the positives in most people anyway; I remain civil and tolerant to everyone, unless they give me reason for ill will at all.

I am painting the medals right now, and my mind is already too riddles to be able to process this dispute further.}}

===Breast Cancer Awareness===
On 1 October 2014, Chris reviewed "Breast Cancer Awareness," giving it five out of five stars.

===UVA LGBTQ Center review===
On 16 October 2014, Chris reviewed the UVA LGBTQ Center, giving it five out of five stars.

===Did he discuss his new piercing?===
On 22 October 2014, Chris noted in his status that he was "Going to Queer Health: Thrive in the Center."

{{Social media}}

[[Category:Facebook|* 2014-10]]

Dox

2023-03-30T23:35:51Z

Sandubadear: /* Clyde Cash */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|The time has come to start listing out the back-talkers who have been speaking bad of Chris Chan Sonichu within up to the past decade.|Chris on doxing.<ref name=june>[[June 2020 social media posts#Fantasy on exposing the trolls]]</ref>}}

[[File:ChrisDoxNames.jpeg|thumb|200px|Excerpt from a list of people Chris "doxed" for being "backtalkers" (in actuality, the list only contains their online handles). Note YouTuber OneyNG's presence on the list.]]

'''Doxing''' is the release of private or identifying information with malicious intent. While Chris does have malicious intent, he fails at the identifying part as most if not all of the information he gives out is false.

Chris believes doxing is a direct ticket to trolling and therefore (tries to) leak information on his enemies, not realizing that he is either being fed false information the entire time or making gigantic leaps to conclusions along the way.

==Chris's attempts at doxing trolls==

=== Clyde Cash ===

Chris was told that a picture of guido Lee Hotti was Clyde's real face by [[lordsillynipples]]. Chris, being a [[naïve]] idiot, believed this and made an [[Secret Weapon|exposé video on Clyde]]. Additionally, Chris, through some unknown means, had obtained a picture of a man having missionary sex with another man in a Spiderman costume. He would threaten to blackmail Clyde with this picture unless he left him alone, revealing it bit by bit.

=== Surfshack Tito===

Surfshack Tito incurred the wrath of Chris during the [[Calling Out]] saga, as he had stolen Chris's gal-pal (read: shown her how horrible Chris is) and used [[Manipulation|social engineering]] to access his [[PSN]] account.

Chris's demands for Tito were to make apology videos to him, [[The Wallflower]] and [[Sony]]. He was also told to give $1,000, but Chris later removed this demand, presumably since he realized it would be outright extortion. In response, Tito made an video where he dubbed a voice over of him apologizing to Chris over a video of a fat guy jiggling his belly.

=== Thorg ===

Thorg was the next target of Chris's holy war against the trolls. He was convicted of putting up a billboard calling Chris a [[homo]]. His tasks were to put up another billboard in New York calling Chris straight and deleting pages from the CWCki.

Thorg didn't give in to these demands, so Chris revealed his information. Thorg was apparently a man named Jeremy Slonwhite from Vancouver, Canada who worked at a GameStop and doesn't believe in a god. Of course, this dox was inaccurate but Chris believed it to be true, making [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|two]] [[Victory Rockout|more videos]] to rub it in Thorg's face.

=== Alec Benson Leary ===

Even after 2 years, Chris couldn't get over the Asperchu comics, all this pent up rage was used for doxing Alec. He demanded Alec make an apology video and leave the internet before 31 August 2011.

When Alec did not give in, Chris claimed his real name was "Christopher Paul Whitney" from San Antonio, Texas, Also known as the YouTuber "Fatman" but unluckily the dox wasn't accurate.
Fatman other than having a totally different voice from Alec's, is from Rutland, Vermont. Fatman later acknowledged this video and called Chris a dumbass.

===Jack Thaddeus===

Next in line was Jack himself; his criminal record included making Chris [[Chris humps his PS3|hump]] his PS3, forcing him to [[It's UGH!|sing OK2BGay]], and worst of all; adding [[Homos|pro-LGBT]] ads to his precious [[CWCipedia]].

Chris revealed his real name was Ahuviya and that he was a communist transgender. Chris insults him by calling him a homosexual while wearing women's clothes and makeup. In reality, Ahuviya Harel (also known as ADF or Phillip Haskins-DeLici) is an infamous lolcow in his own right.
=== BlueSpike ===

The last person to be threatened before the abrupt end of the saga. Chris wanted to dox BlueSpike for creating the Julaay meme and increasing the percentage of finding clay in Chris's ass to 100%.

Chris revealed his real name was David from California. His demands for David were to apologize to him and leave the internet.

BlueSpike never released a video due to him being busy writing a summary for To Kill a Mockingbird to pass his [[English]] class. Chris too never responded after this due to [[Bob]]'s death marking the end of this saga.

===Jeff/Francine Ouzuo===

Jeff Ouzuo also known by his tomgirl name Francine, was subject to a round of doxing by Chris in 2015 for [[Liquid Chris|impersonating Chris]] to [[Un-clit|con lesbians into having sex]], [[Jimmy Hill|selling unauthorised Sonichu merch]] and creating [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]].

Jeff apparently was a [[transgender]] who wasn't transitioning very well, lived in Seattle, Washington after running away from Pittsburgh<ref>[[Doxing Jeff/Francine]]</ref> due to being scared away by [[Niggos|black men]] asking for directions. He also liked to pour lemon juice into his urethra and was arrested for urinating in a children's playground.<Ref>[[I Am me; He is not]]</ref>

===Larry Vaughn===
Chris tried to dox the troll [[Larry Vaughn]] to the [[Watchmen]] and [[Null]], telling them Vaughn's name was Daniel Arias.<ref name=danny>[[The Vaughn Interlude#Danny Boy]]</ref> The Watchman [[Naught]] attempted to publicly dox Vaughn using the name and phone number Chris provided<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Naught)#Attempt to dox Larry Vaughn]]</ref> but Vaughn was unfazed.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Larry Vaughn)#Response to Naught's dox attempt]]</ref> Chris had gotten this "intel" from [[Bella]]<ref name=danny></ref> - months later, Vaughn claimed to have been working with Bella to manipulate Chris.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Larry Vaughn)#Involvement with Bella]]</ref>

== Accidental doxing ==

Many who attempt to [[White knight|help]], [[Ween|troll]], [[Enablers|support]] or [[The Wallflower|befriend]] [[The Suitress|Chris]] have gotten their private information leaked online, either by Chris himself or one of his many weens.

* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris provides [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] with the home address of his [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom]], asking him to send them a letter establishing his legitimacy. Shortly after doing this he realizes how stupid this idea was and retracts his request.
* LittleAmyChan of the CWCProtectsquad had her face revealed by Chris, as he felt she looked like a troll.<ref>[[May 2018 social media posts#Is LittleAmychan a troll?]]</ref>
* [[Megan]]'s address, phone number and photographs were put up on Chris's Facebook when he suddenly felt she was to blame for all his trolling.
* Mr. Smith, an eBay buyer, was also doxed when he complained about not receiving his goods on time.<ref>[[Medallions#The Mr. Smith Situation]]</ref>
* [[The Wallflower]] had a lot of her information leaked on this very CWCki by trolls when Chris mistakenly revealed her pen name on a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level.
*Chris accidentally doxed 23 of his paying customers when they bought merchandise from him on [[Patreon]]. He later sent screenshots of the orders, including payment information, to Naught. Naught then posted the orders, which included the personal information, in the Second Layer of [[The Place]].<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Patreon Orders From 2020]]</ref>

==Chris using dox to stalk people==
On his [[Pennsylvania Trip|Pennsylvania trip]] in [[October 2020]], Chris attempted to make an unsolicited visit to [[YouTube|YouTuber]] Emgo316 by visiting two of the YouTuber's purported home addresses which he had found online. Chris failed to meet Emgo as he was no longer living at either of the addresses.

== Chandler's list ==
[[File:Chandlers list.png|thumb|200px|Coming soon.]]
A reboot of the Calling Out Saga began on [[Twitter]] in June 2020 when Chris said he will be exposing people who "talk smack and shit behind [his] back online".<ref name=june></ref> He started this crazy crusade a few days later by listing the usernames of the supposed wrongdoers. He continued "doxing" almost a month later, this time by posting screen-caps of a list of people consisting of [[weens]], [[A-Logging|a-logs]], [[white knights]] and [[enablers]], plus a handful of non-[[Unholy Quintet|Quintet]] artists, gamers and YouTubers, including OneyNG, who has made [[Chris in the media (podcasts and vlogs)#OneyPlays|frequent reference]] to Chris and ''Sonichu'' over the years.<ref>[[July 2020 social media posts#Chandler's List]]</ref> Due to the proximity of his reemergence, it is heavily theorized in Christorian and enabler communities that [[Jacob Sockness]] has a role in making the list due to him pulling a similar stunt that failed in [[November 2019]].

It seems Chris still has not learned what a dox is, since all this accomplished was giving the people from the Unholy Quintet more exposure - something that many of them crave. The only thing this may accomplish is Chris having to deal with more weens typing “[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAY]]” or “[[Job|Get a Job]]” to be on the next list: he also called the list a dox, despite only consisting of online handles with no personally identifying information.

One more thing to note is that Chris thinks websites that follow his antics are filled with lunatics who will dox anyone he mentions. It’s also confirmed that no one on the lists has been blocked by him, meaning that he accomplished nothing.

==Self-doxing==
{{see also|14 Branchland Court#Chris and his address}}

Chris has often doxed himself, such as by dropping his address or phone number in posts and videos. His reasons for doxing himself vary; he may dox himself to prove to others that he is the one and only Christian Chandler living in 14 Branchland Court. He has also doxed himself while challenging trolls to come to his house to fight him. He also gives out his address and phone number to any potential gal-pal over the internet without thinking twice.

During his time at the [[Rental House]] in [[2014]], Chris revealed the name of the street on which he and Barb were living in the title of a [[Brushfire Video|video]] panicking about a nearby brushfire. He did not reveal the house number, although trolls were able to get ahold of it by other means.

==Goddess Log and jail address book==
In his [[jail communications]] from [[2021]] and [[2022]] Chris has indicated that he keeps a "[[Goddess Log]]" describing his experiences in jail which he intends to publish once he is released. He has also revealed that he keeps a log of the addresses of everybody who writes to him while in jail. Many observers assumed this meant that Chris intended to publish the addresses of everybody who wrote to him. Chris later clarified that his Goddess Log and his address book are two separate documents and that he has no intention of doxing his correspondents.

Nevertheless, it is still a bad idea to trust Chris with your home address.

==See also==
*[[Chris and the Internet]]

==References==
<references/>

{{The Internet}}

Template:Emails

2023-01-06T00:47:27Z

Sandubadear:

{{Navbox
|title= Emails
|name=Emails
|state = mw-collapsed mw-collapsible

|group1 = Misc. early emails
|list1 = [[Chris emails 2004-2006|2004‒06]] • [[Chris emails 2007|2007]] • [[Chris emails 2008|2008]]

|group2 = [[Megan Schroeder]]
|list2 = [[Megan emails, 2005-2006|2005‒06]] • [[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007|Jan‒July 2007]] • [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007|Aug‒Dec 2007]] • [[Megan emails, 2008|2008]]

|group3 = [[Vivian Gee]]
|list3 = [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008|2007‒08]] • [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|2009]] • [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|2010]]

|group4 = [[Blanca Weiss]]
|list4 = [[Blanca Emails, August 2008|Aug]] • [[Blanca Emails, September 2008|Sept]] • [[Blanca Emails, October 2008|Oct 2008]] • [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|Letter]]

|group5 = [[Clyde Cash]]
|list5 = [[Gregg Mays E-mails|Gregg Mays]] • [[Miyamoto Saga]] • [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] • [[Clyde E-mails]]

|group6 = [[PS3|PSN Hacking]]
|list6 = [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails|Jack Thaddeus]] ([[Jack Thaddeus E-mails|1]] • [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 2|2]] • [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 3|3]]) • [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]] • [[Katie Bay]] ([[Katie Bay e-mails 1|1]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 2|2]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 3|3]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 4|4]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 5|5]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 6|6]]) • [[Regina e-mails]] • [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]

|group7 =[[CWCipedia]] [[Mailbag]]
|list7 =[[Mailbag 1|1]] • [[Mailbag 2|2]] • [[Mailbag 3|3]] • [[Mailbag 4|4]] • [[Mailbag 5|5]] • [[Mailbag 6|6]] • [[Mailbag 7|7]] • [[Mailbag 8|8]] • [[Mailbag 9|9]] • [[Mailbag 10|10]] • [[Mailbag 11|11]] • [[Mailbag 12|12]] • [[Mailbag 13|13]] • [[Mailbag 14|14]] • [[Mailbag 15|15]] • [[Mailbag 16|16]] • [[Mailbag 17|17]] • [[Mailbag 18|18]] • [[Mailbag 19|19]] • [[Mailbag 20|20]] • [[Mailbag 21|21]] • [[Mailbag 22|22]] • [[Mailbag 23|23]] • [[Mailbag 24|24]] • [[Mailbag 25|25]] • [[Mailbag 26|26]] • [[Mailbag 27|27]] • [[Mailbag 28|28]] • [[Mailbag 29|29]] • [[Mailbag 30|30]] • [[Mailbag 31|31]] • [[Mailbag 32|32]] • [[Mailbag 33|33]] • [[Mailbag 34|34]] • [[Mailbag 35|35]] • [[Mailbag 36|36]] • [[Mailbag 37|37]] • [[Mailbag 38|38]] • [[Mailbag 39|39]] • [[Mailbag 40|40]] • [[Mailbag 41|41]] • [[Mailbag 42|42]] • [[Mailbag 43|43]] • [[Mailbag 44|44]] • [[Mailbag 45|45]] • [[Mailbag 46|46]] • [[Mailbag 47|47]] • [[Mailbag 48|48]] • [[Mailbag 49|49]] • [[Mailbag 50|50]] • [[Mailbag 51|51]] • [[Mailbag 52|52]] • [[Mailbag 53|53]] • [[Mailbag 54|54]] • [[Mailbag 55|55]] • [[Mailbag 56|56]] • [[Mailbag 57|57]]• [[Mailbag 58|58]] • [[Mailbag 59|59]] • [[Mailbag 60|60]] • [[Mailbag 61|61]] • [[Mailbag 62|62]] • [[Common Questions]]

|group8 = [[The Wallflower]]/[[Surfshack Tito|Tito]]
|list8 = [[The Wallflower]] ([[Wallflower E-mails 1|1]] • [[Wallflower E-mails 2|2]] • [[Wallflower E-mails 3|3]]) • [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]]

|group9 = [[Jackie Romy]]
|list9 = [[Jackie E-mails|1]] • [[Jackie E-mails 2|2]] • [[Jackie E-mails 3|3]] • [[Jackie E-mails 4|4]] • [[Jackie E-mails 5|5]] • [[Jackie E-mails 6|6]] • [[Jackie E-mails 7|7]] • [[Jackie E-mails 8|8]] • [[Jackie E-mails 9|9]] • [[Jackie E-mails 10|10]] • [[Jackie E-mails 11|11]] • [[Jackie E-mails 12|12]] • [[Jackie E-mails 13|13]] • [[Jackie E-mails 14|14]] • [[Jackie E-mails 15|15]] • [[Jackie E-mails 16|16]] • [[Jackie E-mails 17|17]] • [[Jackie E-mails 18|18]] • [[Jackie E-mails 19|19]] • [[Jackie E-mails 20|20]] • [[Jackie E-mails 21|21]] • [[Jackie E-mails 22|22]] • [[Jackie E-mails 23|23]] • [[Jackie E-mails 24|24]] • [[Jackie E-mails 25|25]] • [[Jackie E-mails 26|26]] • [[Jackie E-mails 27|27]] • [[Jackie E-mails 28|28]] • [[Jackie E-mails 29|29]] • [[Jackie E-mails 30|30]] • [[Jackie E-mails 31|31]]

|group10 = [[Catherine]]
|list10 = [[Catherine E-mails]] • [[Open Relationship E-mails]]

|group11 = [[Thetan]]
|list11 = [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails]]

|group12 = [[Emily]]
|list12 = [[Gal Pal E-mails|1]] • [[Gal Pal E-mails 2|2]] • [[Gal Pal E-mails 3|3]] • [[Gal Pal E-mails 4|4]]

|group13 = Other
|list13 = [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole Smithey]] • [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Autism Awareness]] • [[Muscle bra#The bra e-mail|Muscle bra]] • [[Masturbating and squirtin'|Evan E-mails]] • [[Sydney Contacts]] • [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah Chandler Messages]] • [[White knight E-mails]] • [[Gal Pal E-mails]] • [[Doopie E-mails]] • [[MHS classmate E-mails]] • [[Misc E-mails]]
}}
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David Alan Chandler

2023-01-06T00:44:32Z

Sandubadear: Changed redirect target from Minor Family Members#David Alan Chandler to Minor Family Members#Alan Chandler

#REDIRECT [[Minor Family Members#Alan Chandler]]

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2023-01-05T18:13:35Z

Sandubadear:

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{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
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{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group2style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group2}}}
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{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group5style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group5}}}
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{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
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{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group9style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group9}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
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{{!}}- style="height:2px"
{{!}} }}
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{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group10style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group10}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
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{{!}}- style="height:2px"
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{{!}} class="navbox-group" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{groupstyle|}}};{{{group11style|}}}" {{!}} {{{group11}}}
{{!}} style="text-align:left;border-left:2px solid #fdfdfd;|<nowiki/>
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{{!}} class="navbox-abovebelow" style="{{{basestyle|}}};{{{belowstyle|}}}" colspan="{{#expr:2{{#if:{{{imageleft|}}}|+1}}{{#if:{{{image|}}}|+1}}}}" {{!}} {{{below}}} }}
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{{!}}} }}<noinclude>{{Usage|1=This is a metatemplate for constructing navigational templates. The format for using this template is as follows:<br />

<pre>{{Navbox
| name = Navbox/doc
| title = [[Sonichu|Dumb Navbox that's not really about Sonichu]]
| image = [[Image:Molvania_svg.png|80px|link=|alt=]]
| imageleft = [[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|80px]]
| group1 = Herp
| list1 = [[American Rabbit|Derp]]

| group2 = Genitals
| list2 = [[Sonichu Balls]]{{•}} [[Giant Penis Comic]]{{•}} [[China]]

| group3 = Dumb ideas
| list3 = [[Patti|Dig up Patti]]{{•}} [[Chris and sex|Get Chris to have sex with a tranny]]{{•}} [[Liquid Chris|Let's all impersonate Chris like Liquid did!]]{{•}} [[Autism papers|Break into his house and steal the autism papers]]{{•}}[[Asperchu|E-mail Chris and pretend he created Asperchu]]{{•}} [[Chris and money|Let's get his SSI taken away!]]{{•}} [[Video|Make a "rant" video about Christian Weston Chandler]]

| group4 = What if...?
| list4 = [[Sonichu (comic)|What if Chris never created Sonichu?]]{{•}} [[Cwcville|What if Cwcville were REAL?]]{{•}} [[Chris|What if you woke up and YOU were Chris?]]{{•}} [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|What if Nick Fury fought World War II in Outer Space?]]

| group5 = Quotes from Transformers: The Movie
| list5 = [[Optimus Prime|One shall stand, one shall fall.]]{{•}} [[Megatron pistol|Why throw away your life so recklessly?]]{{•}} [[Optimus Prime|That's a question you should ask yourself, Megatron.]]
}}</pre>

-Displays: {{Navbox
| name = Navbox/doc
| title = [[Sonichu|Dumb Navbox that's not really about Sonichu]]
| image = [[Image:Molvania_svg.png|80px|link=|alt=]]
| imageleft = [[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|80px]]
| group1 = Herp
| list1 = [[American Rabbit|Derp]]

| group2 = Genitals
| list2 = [[Sonichu Balls]]{{•}} [[Giant Penis Comic]]{{•}} [[China]]

| group3 = Dumb ideas
| list3 = [[Patti|Dig up Patti]]{{•}} [[Chris and sex|Get Chris to have sex with a tranny]]{{•}} [[Liquid Chris|Let's all impersonate Chris like Liquid did!]]{{•}} [[Autism papers|Break into his house and steal the autism papers]]{{•}}[[Asperchu|E-mail Chris and pretend he created Asperchu]]{{•}} [[Chris and money|Let's get his SSI taken away!]]{{•}} [[Video|Make a "rant" video about Christian Weston Chandler]]

| group4 = What if...?
| list4 = [[Sonichu (comic)|What if Chris never created Sonichu?]]{{•}} [[Cwcville|What if Cwcville were REAL?]]{{•}} [[Chris|What if you woke up and YOU were Chris?]]{{•}} [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|What if Nick Fury fought World War II in Outer Space?]]

| group5 = Quotes from Transformers: The Movie
| list5 = [[Optimus Prime|One shall stand, one shall fall.]]{{•}} [[Megatron pistol|Why throw away your life so recklessly?]]{{•}} [[Optimus Prime|That's a question you should ask yourself, Megatron.]]
}}

}}
[[Category:Metatemplates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

User:Sandubadear/test template

2023-01-05T18:12:05Z

Sandubadear:

User:Sandubadear/test template

2023-01-03T18:22:14Z

Sandubadear: testing template

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{{!}}}{{#switch:{{{border|{{{1|}}}}}}|subgroup|child=|none=|#default=<nowiki/>
{{!}}} }}<noinclude>{{Usage|1=This is a metatemplate for constructing navigational templates. The format for using this template is as follows:<br />

<pre>{{Navbox
| name = Navbox/doc
| title = [[Sonichu|Dumb Navbox that's not really about Sonichu]]
| image = [[Image:Molvania_svg.png|80px|link=|alt=]]
| imageleft = [[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|80px]]
| group1 = Herp
| list1 = [[American Rabbit|Derp]]

| group2 = Genitals
| list2 = [[Sonichu Balls]]{{•}} [[Giant Penis Comic]]{{•}} [[China]]

| group3 = Dumb ideas
| list3 = [[Patti|Dig up Patti]]{{•}} [[Chris and sex|Get Chris to have sex with a tranny]]{{•}} [[Liquid Chris|Let's all impersonate Chris like Liquid did!]]{{•}} [[Autism papers|Break into his house and steal the autism papers]]{{•}}[[Asperchu|E-mail Chris and pretend he created Asperchu]]{{•}} [[Chris and money|Let's get his SSI taken away!]]{{•}} [[Video|Make a "rant" video about Christian Weston Chandler]]

| group4 = What if...?
| list4 = [[Sonichu (comic)|What if Chris never created Sonichu?]]{{•}} [[Cwcville|What if Cwcville were REAL?]]{{•}} [[Chris|What if you woke up and YOU were Chris?]]{{•}} [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|What if Nick Fury fought World War II in Outer Space?]]

| group5 = Quotes from Transformers: The Movie
| list5 = [[Optimus Prime|One shall stand, one shall fall.]]{{•}} [[Megatron pistol|Why throw away your life so recklessly?]]{{•}} [[Optimus Prime|That's a question you should ask yourself, Megatron.]]
}}</pre>

-Displays: {{Navbox
| name = Navbox/doc
| title = [[Sonichu|Dumb Navbox that's not really about Sonichu]]
| image = [[Image:Molvania_svg.png|80px|link=|alt=]]
| imageleft = [[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|80px]]
| group1 = Herp
| list1 = [[American Rabbit|Derp]]

| group2 = Genitals
| list2 = [[Sonichu Balls]]{{•}} [[Giant Penis Comic]]{{•}} [[China]]

| group3 = Dumb ideas
| list3 = [[Patti|Dig up Patti]]{{•}} [[Chris and sex|Get Chris to have sex with a tranny]]{{•}} [[Liquid Chris|Let's all impersonate Chris like Liquid did!]]{{•}} [[Autism papers|Break into his house and steal the autism papers]]{{•}}[[Asperchu|E-mail Chris and pretend he created Asperchu]]{{•}} [[Chris and money|Let's get his SSI taken away!]]{{•}} [[Video|Make a "rant" video about Christian Weston Chandler]]

| group4 = What if...?
| list4 = [[Sonichu (comic)|What if Chris never created Sonichu?]]{{•}} [[Cwcville|What if Cwcville were REAL?]]{{•}} [[Chris|What if you woke up and YOU were Chris?]]{{•}} [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|What if Nick Fury fought World War II in Outer Space?]]

| group5 = Quotes from Transformers: The Movie
| list5 = [[Optimus Prime|One shall stand, one shall fall.]]{{•}} [[Megatron pistol|Why throw away your life so recklessly?]]{{•}} [[Optimus Prime|That's a question you should ask yourself, Megatron.]]
}}

}}
[[Category:Metatemplates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

Messiah complex

2022-12-24T02:37:16Z

Sandubadear: /* Examples of the Messiah complex */

{{HealthDisclosure}}

{{quote|I do have a job, dipshit. It is literally called being a literal Goddess and protecting as many of your Sorry hides from the casualties of the Dimension Merge, in Progress.|Demonstrating his megalomania<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/March_2021_social_media_posts#Workaholic_comic</ref>}}

{{quote|I have my Morals, especially... being the full reincarnation of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, and God of all, including you.|Chris while in jail on an [[Affair with Mother|incest]] charge.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021]]</ref>}}

[[File:EscapeIntoMadness.jpg|thumb|250px|An artist's interpretation.]]

A '''messiah complex''' is the mental state of those who believe they are, or will become, saviors. [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] started demonstrating symptoms of this type of psychosis alongside his worsening narcissism and increase in maladapative [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanisms.

In the latter half of the 2010s Chris increasingly started resorting to his fantasy world as a way of [[coping]] with the pressures of [[reality]] and, after being influenced by the [[Idea Guys]]' cult-like grip, (who utilized [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|a parody series about video game deities]] to [[manipulate]] Chris), he gradually built up a belief that these deities really existed in another dimension, and copied the lore about them to make up an imaginary counterpart of himself with their powers, [[CPU Blue Heart]]. Chris also attempted without success to orchestrate a [[Dimensional Merge]] to unite himself with said counterpart to gain an array of godlike powers, all as a maladaptive coping mechanism against his bleak life.

Following his arrest in August 2021 and subsequent internment, Chris' messiah complex turned literal. Possibly influenced by the bibles given to prisoners in jail, Chris began referring to himself as Jesus Christ and God,<ref>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021]]</ref> even signing a letter as "Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart and Lord of All."<ref>[[Jail Letter - 3 October 2021]]</ref> Chris also refers to himself as "Real Player One" in his prison letters, which can be interpreted as a belief that he is the most important being in existence, if not a sign of full-blown albeit non-philosophical {{w|solipsism}}. Either way, it can be assumed that Chris views the majority of humankind as beneath him, although [[Chris and his ego|he most likely did well before going completely coo-coo]].

==Origin of the Messiah complex==
{{main|Chris and his ego#Narcissistic personality disorder|Chris and coping}}

Chris's messiah complex grew out of two already existing problems he had, namely his narcissism and his maladaptive coping mechanisms.

[[Chris and reality|Since before his discovery, Chris believed he had magic powers]]; he used to curse people he didn't like ([[JERKS|men]]) and bless people he liked ([[women]]). [[Curse ye ha me ha#Yes, he actually thinks this works|Due to trolls acting like these curses actually worked]], Chris got the confirmation that some of his powers were real. He also thought God and Jesus had a special interest in his life and were appearing in his dreams to help him.

In his comics Chris gave himself god like powers to beat up the people he didn't like and change IRL situations where he was punished by authorities to a situation where he won against the authorities i.e, a Mary Sue. For a long time comic Chris and real Chris were separate individuals in Chris's mind, but with the coming of the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Teen Troon Squad]] the line between reality and fiction got blurred and he mixed himself and his self insert up.

As he had to prove to the fans that his newfound magic powers were real, he came up with the most rational solution he could think of; the dimensional merge. This helped blow his messiah complex out of proportion.

==Dimensional Merge==
{{Main|Dimensional Merge}}

The Merge is a concept where two dimensions, one where Chris is a loser and another where he is a god are merging where the end result is a single Chris with godlike powers. The Idea Guys created the concept of the merge and Chris immediately believed it because it provided an explanation as to why his powers are being activated after 36 years of his miserable existence.

This was most likely created as a means of [[coping]] from his life where he was the man of the house and had to take care of his mother, pay bills and do tasks he considers to be [[stress|stressful]]. He also uses the merge to justify why he does nothing daily and to give himself hope that things might get better in the future.

To stroke his [[ego]] and get confirmation that his godlike powers are being activated, he made his fictional characters worship him, for him these [[OCs|characters are living]] and their worship is equivalent to worship by actual people. Seeing this, many [[enablers]] also started worshipping him and created a religion based on him to get on his good side. Due to all this reaffirmation in his believes he started thinking he is a god.

==Jesus Reborn==

[[File:Christ_chan.jpg|thumb|250px|Jesus Christine Chandler giving her heart out to everyone.]]

In the wake of Chris being arrested and incarcerated on a charge of incest, awaiting legal proceedings, viewers watched with bated breath in anticipation of what would happen next. Many thought that time in jail would serve to humble Chris, imparting unto him an inescapable awareness of his wrongdoing and forcing him to understand that actions had consequences. For over a month, there was near-total radio silence, and for a time, people believed that perhaps Chris had finally had a reckoning in being forced to face reality.

On September 19th, 2021, [[Jail_Communications|these notions were swiftly put to rest.]]

While not the first jail letter written by Chris, that being a brief plea for money in August shortly after his incarceration, the message sent on September 19th was wildly different in both tone and content. Reading more like a sermon than a cry for help, Chris declared himself a reincarnation of Jesus of Nazareth as he defended his actions and fulminated against those who had betrayed him, having come to view himself as the single most important being in existence, christening himself as 'the real Player One' - the effective center of the entire universe. Many of the messages that followed, sent to assorted acquaintances, old friends and Youtube channel owners, among others, served to demonstrate the scope of his new outlook. Chris would use letters to elaborate on his feelings towards others or provide lore for his confusing self-made pantheon, all the while assuring his readers of his godly status and insisting vehemently that the Dimensional Merge was coming ever closer, nearing completion by his hands - and insisting with equal vehemence that his actions towards Barb were not criminal, but an act of 'soul-bonding' designed to protect her and prolong her life. Chris' belief in his own godhood became such that he eventually convinced himself that he would simply be released from jail without consequence to tend to his duties following the completion of the Merge, a belief he held to right up until his [[Jail_Letter_-_Prayer_to_Spamton|last known communique]] prior to his transfer.

How this dramatic change in his mindset occurred is uncertain, though it is commonly believed that combined with Chris' existing fascination with the Dimensional Merge and an inability to cope with the consequences of his actions, Chris' voracious readings of the Bible in isolation have served to instill within him a deeply religious fervor, driving him to create a nonsensical mythology that he has since used as yet another coping mechanism, one that threatens to completely destroy what tenuous ties to reality he still has left.

==Examples of the Messiah complex==
*Phrases such as "Oh, My Chris Chan!"<ref>[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History#Mentions by Chris]]</ref><ref>[[:File:CWC GoPony reaction.jpg]]</ref> and "Chris Chan Sonichu is watching over you"<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1271137941411299330</ref> – replacing the word "God" with his nickname.
*Asked people to pray to him multiple times.
*Has said he is looks over others lives to make sure no bad happens to them (though one person he was looking over did get divorced).
*Claims to make sure (many) people don't die of [[COVID-19|diseases]].
*Believing that he is straight up Jesus Christ of Nazareth reincarnated.<ref>[[Chris's Letter to Null]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris and religion]]
*[[CPU Blue Heart]]
*[[Chris and coping]]
*[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021]]
*[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Fantasies}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Lukas, Devil and Eva

2022-12-05T22:32:42Z

Sandubadear: /* Trolling */

{{Needs Updating|[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Leaking of Idea Guys Videos]]}}
{{Honest}}
{{Unreliable|type=cred|After being doxed by the [[Guard Dogs]], some members of the squad attempted to shift blame onto Chris and [[Jessica Quinn]].}}
{{Transgender}}
{{Quote|No matter how many times I die, somebody somewhere will pick up where I left off.|[[Idea Guys#Joshua Allen Wise|Joshua Wise]], during [[The Bad Beginning]].}}

{{quote|I know Lukas, Devil and Eva were trolling me as well, and that turned out good as well|Chris<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1193435503418363904</ref>.}}

{{Infobox Person
|title = Lillie Simpkins
|image = Screenshot 2019-04-18 at 8.35.29 AM.png
|Name = Lillie Celeste Simpkins
|aliases = Lukas Simpkins<br>FFEMemberLukas<br>ThatKidd910<br>
|gender = Female
|day = 10
|month = 9
|year = 1999
|birthsrc = <ref>[[September_2019_social_media_posts#Longing_to_revive_the_Teen_Troon_Saga]]</ref>
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|saga = {{saga|tts|cn}}
}}

The '''Teen Troon Squad''' were a group of trolls in [[Charlottesville]] who began manipulating Chris towards the end of [[2018]]. As their moniker – derived from the Teen Girl Squad from ''{{w|Homestar Runner}}'' and a deragotory term for transgender people – suggests, they are known to be transgender and [[Pedofork|about half Chris's age]]. Currently, '''Lillie Celeste Simpkins''' ([[tomgirl|tomboy]] name '''Lukas Simpkins''') is the only Squad member known by full name. Other members of the Squad include '''"Eva"'''<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/September_2019_social_media_posts#Longing_to_revive_the_Teen_Troon_Saga</ref> and
'''"Devil"''' (also known as "wxlfdxg" and "Sxvxnd");<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-558#post-3309948</ref> little is known of these members except that the latter helped Lillie get her foot in the door by buying Chris's illicit goods.<ref>
[[:File:Screenshot-twitter.com 2018-05-01 09-33-14.png|'Devil' details purchasing Chris's porn, 1 May 2018]]</ref> The Teen Troon Squad originally met Chris when two of their members [[List of Chris's financial enablers|purchased]] 32 pages of his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|pornographic drawings]] on [[eBay]] for $1,000 in [[April 2018]], and they were mentioned on [[Kiwi Farms]] to have smoked marijuana with Chris (in violation of his [[Therapeutic Docket]]) in [[October 2018]]. After gaining Chris's trust, the Squad infiltrated into Chris's accounts, leaked content and then pointed the finger at Wise and Boyd; time and time again, Chris has taken their statements [[autism|at face value]].

Much like the [[Idea Guys]], the Teen Troon Squad's trolling occurred largely behind the scenes, and only a scanty amount of content was ever released until [[December 2018]]. Having also begun trolling Chris at the height of the Idea Guys' power and having used them as a scapegoat to evade detection, accurately estimating the extent of their manipulation is impossible. Regardless of who individually is responsible, collectively they are all [[weens]]. They were probably responsible for introducing the [[Dimensional Merge]] into Chris's mind. In a perplexing tweet on [[C-Mas|Christmas Day]] 2018, Lillie's identity was exposed by somebody role-playing as [[Magi-Chan]], prompting the other Troons to wipe their presence off the Internet completely as the [[Guard Dogs]] as well as the greater [[Kiwi Farms]] began closing in on them. Unlike Wise and Boyd, Chris remains fond of the Squad and is still bewildered that they had left him without warning. He has tried, thus far in vain, to re-establish contact as late as [[September 2019]].<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Longing to revive the Teen Troon Saga|Chris wishes Lillie a happy birthday, 10 September 2019]]</ref>

[[File:Lukasfacebook.png|thumb|200px|Lillie's [[Facebook]] avatar.<ref>https://archive.fo/9Xpxc</ref>]]

== Trolling ==
{{Quote|Honestly, I wouldn't advise it. He smells like cat piss and told us [[Affair with Mother|he wanted to fuck his mom]]. 0/10, would never do again. He made me into a part [of] ''Sonichu'', it was awful.|Lillie, on why you shouldn't spend hours interacting with Chris in person ([[Chris and sex#Incest|warning of us of what was to come]]).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/12-25-the-teen-troon-squad-reveals-themselves-say-theyre-behind-the-merge.51472/page-17</ref>}}
{{see also|Chris with Teen Troon Squad}}
On 24 April 2018, Chris posted an [[eBay]] listing of [[2018 Sales Listings#Lot of 32 porn drawings|32 porn drawings]] he had produced over the years, including the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]. Though the listing was quickly pulled within a few hours for violating eBay's terms of service, Lillie expressed interest in buying the art on Twitter; apparently she had got the money by taking it from her mother's boyfriend. She wrote:

{{quoteboxgreen|@CWCSonichu im willing to pay the 1,000$ for the drawings, please repost them on ebay or esty so i can}}

Chris complied, quietly relisting the drawings under the incognito title "Artsfor lukas". This purchase wound up kicking off the entire Teen Troon Squad saga.

[[File:ChrisandTeenTroonSquad.png|thumb|Lillie, Devil and [[Chris]] posing for a picture]]

Since the Squad lives in the same area as Chris, on 27 [[April 2018]] they arranged for Chris to deliver the pornography they had purchased to Lillie's house. This was the first of many visits; the Squad periodically invited Chris over without their parents' knowledge. These visits are evidenced by numerous archived social media posts, as well as a video [[Chris with Teen Troon Squad|leaked of Chris acting delusional, probably while high on marijuana, at Lillie's house]]. What exactly occurred at these meetings is unknown, but all of the information released seems to imply that they primarily consisted of role-playing. For example, in [[Chris with Teen Troon Squad]], he points at the air, states "I love you, Cryzel", and pretends to make out with her. When asked by a [[Twitter]] user about Chris' behavior in-person, Lillie described him as somewhat "rapey", stating that she had no personal space whatsoever.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/12-25-the-teen-troon-squad-reveals-themselves-say-theyre-behind-the-merge.51472/page-17</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|He would kiss on us, hug us, rub on us, press his head against ours randomly, get incredibly close... He is really rapey, it's awful. Especially because at the time, we were all [[Pedofork|minors]].}}

If true, it makes no sense why Lillie would willingly invite Chris over multiple times, especially with how much information on Chris's creepiness is publicly available. It is instead believed that these statements were damage control. Hilariously, Chris also had some of his own complaints about Lillie, angrily posting a tweet revealing that she had attempted to convince him into buying alcohol for them.<ref name="a">https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2018-12-30_9-36-57-png.626168/</ref>

{{quotebox|No, Lukas, I will NOT buy you booze!}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Screenshot-twitter.com 2018-05-01 09-35-39.png|Lillie stating the item had been delivered, marking the first meeting.
File:Screenshot.1545857804.png|Evidence of a hang-out occurring on 14 [[July 2018]] with "Devil".
Ttstext1.jpg|The original texts from Lillie regarding Chris.
Ttstext2.jpg|Note the writing style.
</gallery></center>

[[File:Upload 2018-10-26 11-15-41 (1).png|thumb|The disastrous effects of a life on drugs.]]

Sometime during one of their in-person role-playing sessions, Lillie introduced Chris to cannabis. What resulted is captured in a 38-second long, showing Chris high on marijuana while pretending to make out with [[Cryzel]]. Chris later angrily clarified on [[Twitter]] that he was not, in fact, constantly high.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris with Teen Troon Squad
| ytid = CHO7-l6T4r4
| stardate = 26 [[December 2018]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Teen Troon Squad|text}}
| shirt = {{ParappaShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[December_2018_videos#Sylvia_is_playful|Sylvia is playful]]
| next = [[December 2018 Paid Video Requests|Merry Gubmas!]]
}}

[[File:Screenshot-twitter.com-2018.11.18-16-23-55.png|thumb|right|One of the earlier Twitter leaks.]]
[[File:DecemberLeaks2018.jpg|The [[December 2018]] leaks.|thumb|right]]
[[File:ReactiontoNovember2018Hack.png|thumb|200px|Chris blames the original [[Idea Guys]] for the leaks.]]

Meanwhile, Chris-Chan's [[Twitter]] account was [[Twitter#Leaks|hacked]] several times throughout 2018 by an unknown individual claiming to be associated with the Idea Guys. It seems more likely, however, that they were being posted by Lillie, given that they occurred long after the Idea Guys were [[Guard Dogs|taken out of power]]. The leak also included footage that Lillie herself later leaked in full onto [[/cow/]], making her involvement all the more likely. Regardless of who actually leaked the videos, Chris himself believed it to be the work of Boyd and Wise, subsequently calling them out by name in a tweet afterwards.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1072900174521847808</ref>

The first leak, from 11 [[November 2018]], was a clip from his now infamous second rendition of [[All Star]] video in which he sings while [[mass debating]]. The tweet read: "This is how chris pays tribute to his lovers - The guy in the 'bluegras state'". This is an obvious allusion to the Idea Guys, as Boyd is said to live in the "Bluegrass" state Kentucky. The full video, however, was not released until 30 [[December 2018]].

The second leak, which occurred in [[December 2018|December]], took place over the span of two days. The first was a single tweet on 11 December 2018 at 1:27 P.M., releasing [[Tour of Chris's House III]]. It was posted with a troll-written description asking for $500, before being quickly deleted. [[Kiwi Farms]] quickly noted that based off a calendar seen in the video, it had been filmed in [[March 2018]]; when the [[Idea Guys]] were still in control.

The second half occurred on 12 December, this time in the form of a three-part tweet chain. Two of the videos in the thread had already been released: one from [[The Bad Beginning|the Bad Beginning of Chris apologizing to Gwen]], and another of [[April_2018_Paid_Video_Requests#A_few_seconds_of_Barb_dancing|Barbara stiffly dancing for the camera]]. The only unseen video from this chain was a clip of [[Chris slaps himself|Chris slapping himself to tears]], as described by [[Idea Guys#Extortion|Null in July]]. Regardless of who actually leaked it, Chris himself believed this to be the work of Boyd and Wise, subsequently calling them out by name in a tweet afterwards.

==Unravelling==
===Magi-Chan doxxing incident===
On [[Christmas|25 December]] 2018, somebody posing as [[Magi-Chan]] posted a tweet linking to a (since taken down) Pastebin, now referred to as "The 'Teen Troon Squad' Reveals Themselves".<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/12-25-the-teen-troon-squad-reveals-themselves-say-theyre-behind-the-merge.51472/</ref> This Pastebin elaborately doxes 'Lukas', revealing her real name, home address, and a supposed phone number. The author then lists some details regarding the [[Dimensional Merge]], since revoked by Chris, before expanding on what the Teen Troon Squad had been doing: the group had been "spend[ing] a lot of time opening [their] mind[s] by role playing and smoking weed with cool people like [[Tomgirl|Christine]]".

{{Quotebox|Hello everyone! It is I, Magi-Chan Sonichu. I read the password for this account from Chris' mind.

As you all know, the merge will be happening soon.

I currently have Lukas (my host body) in a trance, so they won't remember typing this out.

The final stage of the merge will involve everyone in our universe disconnecting from your
universe. We will go silent. We must hibernate to tug the universes together.

I have really enjoyed my time in your universe. I want to give thanks to my host body in your world, [redacted]. (Legal name: [redacted].) I want everyone to know what a
gracious host they were. Lukas and Christine and I (and some of our friends) had lots of fun
hanging out with Christine and smoking weed. We used to do it in their old house, but she just moved to a new house at [redacted]. I'm sad I won't be able to smoke weed there until after the merge. If you want to give Lukas a call to let her know how cool she is, she'd really appreciate it. Her number is [redacted].

Her mother Tara raised a brilliant young person. Her mother is also very progressive. I mean, who would have the courage to let their child spend their time smoking weed with someone like Christine, who's nearly twice their age? A really brave mother, that's who.g

Lukas is a really cool person. If you want to end up as brilliant as Lukas, you should also
spend a lot of time opening your mind by role playing and smoking weed with cool people
like Christine.

Anyhoo, praise be for my gracious host aside, here's how the merge will go down:

* everyone disconnects from Earth 1218 for a small period of time
* we hibernate
* and by the end of 2018 in our universe, the universes will be merged

Because of time dilation though, it will take a little bit longer in Earth 1218. By your human calendar in that universe, the merge should be complete by the end of 2038. 2018 here, 2038 in 1218.

In 20 short years, you should start seeing manifestations of what you people so cynically call "fictional characters". You might literally shit your panties when you see Bugs Bunny in real life! (But be polite, he looks a little rough. Makeup on television can work wonders.)

Goodbye for now!

[[File:ChrisandTeenTroonSquad.png|200px]]}}

Chris later dismissed the news as fake.

Naturally, there was much speculation as to who had actually written the tweet. The author claimed to be Lillie herself, stating:

{{quoteboxgreen|I currently have Lukas (my host body) in a trance, so they won't remember typing this out.}}

However, to many, this read as if there had been a third party involved. Ultimately, it was determined that it had to have been done by someone Chris had trusted with his password; significantly narrowing down the suspect pool. A follow-up tweet from Chris later called the author a "[[troll|gremlin]]" trying to divide him, Lillie, and [[The Captain]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/dimensional-merge-tweets-megathread.49414/page-68#post-4128895</ref> The most important revelation is the mention of The Captain, who Lillie later claimed was responsible for doxing her.<ref>[[:File:TheCaptainLukas.png|"The Captain is the lovely person that doxxed (sic) me."]]</ref>

In the last few days of 2018, Lillie responded to her dox by leaking content onto 8chan's [[/cow/]] board, hoping to appease onlooking trolls, who do not [[Weening#If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself|look favourably on this kind of behaviour]]. While normally, those posting to the site would be protected under the guise of anonymity, Lillie stated plainly who she was, even linking to her personal Twitter account. She began by revealing [[Teen Troon Squad chats|Discord logs from Chris]] from 18 December 2018, in which Chris discusses how he damaged his [[high school ring]], followed by "Luka Sonichu", an original Sonichu character and medallion Chris had created for her on 23 August 2018, and [[Chris lost Crystal|a video of Chris screaming at his toilet]].<ref>http://archive.is/j7oFu</ref>

<center>
<gallery>
File:Screenshot-8ch.net-2018.12.29-19-21-47.png
File:LukasMedallion.jpeg|Note the red streak.
File:LeakTroonSquad2912.png
</gallery></center>

Lillie's situation continued to deteriorate rapidly. On 29 December 2018, while Lillie was busy releasing as much as she could, Chris condemned her over Twitter, alluding to a falling out between them, though blame for Lillie's actions was assigned instead to [[Arfoire]], a [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]] villain whom Chris also believed had been behind [[Jessica Quinn]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2018-12-30_9-36-57-png.626168/</ref> In a desperate final attempt to appease the troll community, Lillie partially leaked the [[All Star]] masturbation tape on 30 December, in exchange for being left alone and her mother not finding out about her Internet antics.<ref>http://archive.is/7NtgZ</ref> She concluded that day with another plea for trolls to stop texting her, offering to tell 'all about [Chris's] lovely adventures and set things straight' to anybody who messages her on Twitter.<ref>http://archive.is/5M6J9</ref>

<center>
<gallery>
File:2018.12.31 - cow1.png
File:2018.12.31 - cow2.png
File:2018.12.31 - cow3.png
File:2018.12.31 - cow4.png
File:2018.12.31 - cow5.png
</gallery></center>

Satisfied that the Internet now seemed to be leaving her alone, Lillie finally posted the rest of [[All Star]] as a reward on New Year's Eve 2018, gloating:

{{quoteboxgreen|since idiots are starting to get a clue and leave me alone heres the rest. i dont care chris aint going to do shit to me becuase my mom will sue him}}

This backfired, as an unamused [[Kiwi Farms]] chose to target her in response for the release. Realizing the newfound attention that she had [[Attraction Sign|attracted]] onto herself from All Star, Lillie frantically began backpedaling on Twitter. Once again, she attempted to blame the [[Idea Guys]] for her deeds, but few were convinced: the overwhelming amount of context and framing that would have to have been done for little to no gain made such an explanation unacceptable.

<center>
<gallery>
File:Screenshot 20181231-120212 Twitter.jpg|"I only released ONE video."
File:Screenshot-twitter.com-2018.12.31-20-28-42.png|A far cry from "i dont care chris aint going to do shit".
</gallery></center>

After this, nothing has been heard from the Teen Troon Squad; the remaining members dispersed before they could also be exposed. Their primary legacy is in implanting, or at least nurturing, the [[Dimensional Merge]] as a viable substitute in Chris's life for the [[Love Quest]] that the Idea Guys had brought to an end. Months after they broke all ties, Chris bemoaned on Lillie's birthday in [[September 2019]] that he had lost their company, and appealed for them to come back. It is however doubtful that they will ever return after experiencing the many side effects of trying to manipulating Chris.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:CWC-TTS1.jpg|From left, Devil, Chris, and Lukas.
File:CWC-TTS2.jpg|Chris with Eva.
File:Luka.jpg|As [[TSSSF]] cards.
File:Devil.jpg
File:Evachu.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Chris with Teen Troon Squad]]
*[[Twitter#Leaks|Twitter Leaks]]
*[[Teen Troon Squad chats]]
*[[Dimensional Merge]]
*[[Chris and reality]]

{{References}}
{{TTSSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]
[[Category:LGBT]]

Lukas, Devil and Eva

2022-12-05T22:32:29Z

Sandubadear: /* Trolling */

Address to and for the Brony Analysts and Artists

2022-12-01T05:39:08Z

Sandubadear: fix

'''Address to and for the Brony Analysts and Artists''' was uploaded on 8 [[February 2019]] and was the first video since his second privatization of his [[Twitter]] account. [[Apologies to the liked Bronies and Pegasisters; PLEASE UNBLOCK ME ON TWITTER!|Like the previous video]], Chris throws a tantrum begging the [[TF2 Analysis]] teams to unblock him and shifts the blame on the trolls. After receiving nothing but mockery from the trolls and other observers, the video was quickly deleted, along with the previous video.
==Video==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Address to and for the Brony Analysts and Artists
| ytid = Mj4qv3jOTIQ
| stardate = 8 Febuary 2019
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| Saga = {{Soft Exile|text}}
| shirt = {{Light gray bathrobe|text}}
| other =
| previous = [[Apologies to the liked Bronies and Pegasisters; PLEASE UNBLOCK ME ON TWITTER!]]
| next = [[A little bit of Gary Stu]]
}}

===Description===
Please, consider NOT Closing Me Out; we can help each other in support and kindness. I am sincere, direct and honest about that, y’all.

===Transcript===

[''Stress sigh''] Hello, everybody, Christine Chandler comin’ to you live from home once again, and [''waves at camera''] this just can’t wait, this gotta be shared while it’s fresh in my mind, but [''sighs''] ... I actually--there’s actually a lot in common, uh, between I and those amongst the Brony Analysts, [adjusts medallion] and... I just feel like I need to get this off my, get this off of my mind, ‘cause I, shoot, have been trolled, I have been cyberbullied since [holding up fingers for each number] [[2007]]! All right? [''Stress sigh''] And, y’all didn’t come onto the innernet until, like, a few years later. I know, there’s a wikia, called Secret Rift wikia, uh, some of y’all--I mean, look it up, just right dere. But aside from that, I know, I got a basic glimpse of [''taps the side of his head''] each of you from... I’ve seen–in amongst your videos and your Twitter and whatever... [''stress sighs, wags finger at camera''] uh, well, like for one obvious example, gonna use your OCs to [''waves at camera again''] name--to pretty much name errybody, yeah, Lightning Bliss’s creator, you know, Lightning Bliss, yeah, so Blissy, yeah, listen. [Voice cracks slightly] You think you’ve got the problems with handling the harshness, [''he mimes being stabbed as he speaks''] dose comments going in and in and in and in and in at you like a knife stabbin’ at you, just banging banging [throws himself back against the wall while pounding on his chest and making spitting noises] ‘n you’re the one that--[''grunts violently while performing a double [[Claw of Fail]] and displaying a comically angry expression''] I’ve been there! I’ve been there! [''while pulling on his hair''] I’ve reacted just as badly, if not worse, so much catharsisisss, it’s all bent up at me and everything.

Mm, speaking of that, uh, [''stress sigh''] den, just, the–the Fiery Joker [?], nyeah, he’s got followers that go out all Pikmin-style and just attack anybody that he [voice cracks] talks about. Well, all the haters and harassers, all those damn frickin’ bugbears that I have, well, they’re doing the same thing as they did for you, Fiery Joker. They did. And I’ve been there, and they’ve done that... [throws his arms out in exasperation] everywhere! [''He trills like a sick elephant, then resumes speaking in a whiny tone''] Dey jus’ wanna attack me everywhere. [''Starts pulling on his hair again''] And I know a lot of y’all can relate to this, well--the... my brain is trying to fry up on me because I’m on no sleep right now, but anyway [''long stress sigh''] Even Mad Munchkin, I mean, the hate hate hate, and how he stands so much of it, like a... Stonewall Jackson, Rock of Gibraltar, what have you. And then you can only take so much [''mimes stabbing himself again''] from the haters ‘n harassers, ‘n everything, da... [''he seems to lose his train of thought for a moment''] just [unintelligible], ‘n it tears you up, it tears your creativity, it tears your inspiration, [''his voice goes shrill and he starts slapping himself on the forehead''] it tore my inspiration too many times to count, and it threw me into years of depression! [''Stress sighs/trills, then sighs again and facepalms'']

This... [''stress sigh''], y’all know who you are... I mean, even, uh, Jasper Pie, you break the fourth wall, and it’s--I break the fourth wall, and we’re funny, we’re tomico {comical?} we take things with a laugh sometimes, we can–we can’t stand being annoyed [''holds his hand up to his ear like a phone, begins imitating a troll in a snotty high-pitched voice''] Oh, look, a pizza [''unintelligible, drops voice to a grunting bass''] delivering pizza to a false address and nobody’s gonna pay for it, well you know what, just send the pizzas my way! [''Deteriorates into incoherent growling, then sighs and clutches his hair''] And I’ve got my problems with life at home as well, with... [''elephant trill''] oh, being pinned on the floor in da fourth grade, ‘n losing--leaving my friends behind at graduat--school graduation, having a very terrible time in college here ‘n there, and being banned from places, being liked by some, hated by a bunch, and den just wondering what–how many is really shining bright. [''While gesticulating wildly''] Are they light of good, or are they darkness of hate? And it just grinds me uuup! [''Grunts and whines in a shrill tone''] And you all--we could actually be supporting each other! We could--and you know, just supporting each other in kindness, I mean, like, you know, I’ve been there--you should lis--like, I’ve heard your story, now here’s my story. I’ve been there, and I’ve been there on the innernet even longer than Silver Quill! And he’s older than I am, by a few years still!

[''Pulls at his hair again and stress sighs''] And y’all wanna block me, because of my reputation? Well, think about this a moment: [''voice cracks''] I’ve been where each of you have in combination. One’s been dealt hatred and can’t--just wants to etsplode everything, and react. I’ve–that’s one aspect. Pikmin-like followers that wanna target everybody else that they talk about, pfft, that’s anurr’ one, mm, prank calls and being deceived, blackmailed ‘n everything. [''sighs, then points at camera and assumes a lecturing tone''] This is a hard look in the mirror, just listening to me right now, talking about the problems that... [''goes shrill again''] we actually have in common with each other, dat we could actually be friends over, [''hits his hand on a paint can while gesturing''] we could actually be supportive to each other, like a support group or something! [''Pulls at his hair and tosses his head back, sighing''] I mean, shoe were on the other foot, [''points at camera with fore and middle fingers and thumb extended''] I banned y’all, each of y’all, for... your repu--for your... very bad infamy! And den y’all want--den y’all just want to try and make it up for me because [''covers his eyes with one hand and waves his other hand at the camera''] I don’t wanna be caught up in all y’all’s shenanigans ‘n everything, because I don’t want to get caught up in your past behaviors that just put a worse stain on your face [''uncovers face and waves hand at the camera again''] that any of y’all–any of those haters ‘n harassers ‘n bugbears will ever throw upon you in the worst ways, and [''points at himself for emphasis''] I have been there! [''In a comical growl''] I have been there! [''In a shrill howl''] I have been there!

[''Continuing in a shrill whine''] And I just wanna be supportive and kind to each and every one of you! I want to help each of you with my histories, my sharings, ‘n we could help each other! Doesn’t that make sense?! [''Stress sighs and clutches his hair again''] Okay, well, look, I’m not asking y’all to unblock me on Twitter, but at least listen to what I am telling you, right now! [''In a petulant tone, while flinging his fists around like a child throwing a tantrum''] I have learned from my past mistakes ‘n everything, n’ I–aside from the recent catharsism that I did after--eeh, after Mad Munchkin blocked me... that was the last straw on my back right there. [''Flips his hair and throws his head back, as if striking a pose''] Why can’t we all just... get along on the fact that we’re similar? Because y’all have your share of bad reputations, and I’ve got... all y’all’s bad reputations bulked up into me. All right? [''his voice becomes increasingly shrill as he continues''] You’ve been there, I’ve been there, you’ve been there, I’ve been there, you’ve been there, I’ve been there again! [''Elephant trill''] C’mon, just... [''heavy stress sigh''] And I’ve gotten stronger over the years of having to cope with all that ‘n ignoring all that star--crap. And even I break. I’m just as fragile as each of y’all. So, just saying... at least take into consideration, ‘cause I really do want to be able... [''touches fingers to temples''] to... be like supportive and kind to each and every one of you, ‘cause you’ll find out on the innernet even though it’s not widely spreeead, I have learned from my past mistakes, and TooManyGames and what happened there. ‘N I actually behaved at the recent Bronycon, very much! [''stares blankly around the room for a few seconds with a mournful expression before refocusing on the camera''] Okay? Just... I’m so disorganized in response to that, but I think y’all get my point. We’re all in the same yacht [''pronounces the silent ‘ch’, so that it sounds like ‘yawkt’''] size boat, of the fact that we got s--all this, all these trolling hater harassing problems ‘n things. [''slaps his forehead a few times and performs a Claw of Fail, then sighs. Background music is clearly audible.''] Well, if it means anything at least, after y’all listened to all--listened to me go on from my heart, [''thumps chest for emphasis''] my soul, my being ‘n everything, just, simply, thank you all for listening. [''turns off camera'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Apologies to the liked Bronies and Pegasisters; PLEASE UNBLOCK ME ON TWITTER!]]|nextlink=[[A little bit of Gary Stu]]}}
{{SoftExileSaga}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2019]]

Watchmen

2021-10-14T21:00:47Z

Sandubadear: /* Lainchu */

{{Dated|the Bella Saga, as she was collaterally involved in this.}}
{{quote|You brought so much fucking [[Laughs Under Lucricities|joy]] to this world and you continue to do so. That's why [...] you need to remain safe.|Bismuth, one of the Watchmen, to Chris.<ref>[[CWC and Friends on Google Hangout (July 20th, 2020)]]</ref>}}

[[File:Watchmen.jpg|thumb|The [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|accumulated]] [[Unholy Tetrad|filth]] of their [[trolls]] and [[weening]] will foam up about their waists and all the [[Dimensional Merge|Merge-deniers]] and [[A-log|A-logs]] will look up and shout "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY!]]" ...And I'll look down, and whisper "[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm workin' on it.]]"]]

The '''Watchmen''' were a group of fanatical [[enablers]] whose members served as gatekeepers and [[white knights]] for [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]], in a similar manner as their predecessors, the [[Guard Dogs]]. Their goal was to keep away malicious individuals trying to troll or scam Chris. The group had a few iterations but with Chris currently jailed for [[incest]] their purpose has become moot.

As a faction, the Watchmen were instrumental in numerous events over the course of late [[2019]] onwards, such as attempting to dismantle [[Jacob Sockness]]’s influence over Chris and drive him off. They also shut down the Arbitarch CWC Alliance Discord server when the true intent of the server was revealed. Chris had contact with the Watchmen, including [[CWC and Friends on Google Hangout (July 20th, 2020)|chatting with them]] on [[Discord Q&A 4|Google Hangouts]] and over [[Discord]]. The Watchmen were also behind the [[2020 Discord leaks|Discord leaks in August 2020]], and the [[Discord Q&A]]'s.

Their approach was rather controversial, as they gained Chris's favor by means of [[Enablers|enabling]] his delusions by pretending to be fellow [[CPU]] goddesses and encouraging his beliefs in [[magical thinking]] and the [[Dimensional Merge]]. The Watchmen tracked and collected information on anyone involved with - or attempting to get involved with Chris, and had little to hesitation in regards to doing any potential [[weens]], [[trolls]], and [[A-Log|A-logs]].

While they shared a name with the 1986/1987 DC Comics limited series by Alan Moore, David Gibbons, and John Higgins, the 2009 film adaptation (which is [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|not that long of a movie]], according to [[Emily]] and [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]), the 2019 HBO series, and the various comic book spin-offs, the Watchmen apparently did not take inspiration from the franchise, in contrast to how [[The Miscreants]] modeled themselves after the Patriots from ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]''.

==Origins==
What eventually became the Watchmen group had its roots in the CWC Rebellion Discord server. There, Owls met Meghan (aka MKRNightVee), and Talia (whom Owls described as "a person exploiting and egging MKR on to talk to Chris").<ref name=owlsaccount>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.49854/page-1257#post-7343340 (Archive: https://archive.fo/06IZx)</ref>

Meghan got into contact with Chris through a friend looking up his phone number.<ref name=cap2>https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/discordgirl2-png.644832/</ref> Owls tried to coach Meghan<ref name=cpuowls>https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/discordgirl5-png.644835/</ref> and avoid problems, though he admits he didn't do well at it.<ref name=owlsaccount></ref>

After Meghan had been in contact with Chris for some time, Owls came up with the idea to try to [[manipulate]] Chris's beliefs away from the [[Dimensional Merge]] through telling him that the [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU goddesses]] had relocated to Earth. Meghan recruited her friends to role-play as CPUs to Chris over Discord; Owls acted as a gatekeeper between MKR's friends and Chris.<ref name=cpuowls></ref>

{{quote|time passed talking with Meghan for about a month or so there came an idea from me in the most autistic way possible "convince Chris that merge wasn't happening and that CPU had decided to be on earth and act like normal people in society". foolishly believing this would work Meghan gathered some people from different servers she said we could trust and we made a server. this idea failed and when the first person decided to brag about it on a different discord I shut down the idea.|Owls<ref name=owlsaccount></ref>}}

According to Bismuth, Owls acted as liaison between the CPU group and [[Marvin]] of the [[Guard Dogs]] group (the latter also being gatekeepers to Chris at the time) but Bismuth claimed that Owls wasn't reporting back to Marvin. Owls later left the group.<ref name=naughtclarify></ref>

==Major Players==
===Bismuth===
[[File:CPUBismuthHeart.jpg|150px|thumb|Avatar of CPU Bismuth Heart.]]
'''Bismuth''' was the second leader of the Watchmen, taking over the group after Owls left.<ref name=naughtclarify></ref> He monitored and doxed potential weens or outside enablers. He went by many usernames - he used "Bismuth" to Chris and used multiple aliases in public postings. While he was in the CWCki Discord server, he often used an emoticon of a heart. For the [[Kiwi Farms]], he went by names/accounts including "Naught", "anameisaname", "death of chans", and "Nightmare"<ref name=naughtthread></ref> - he was eventually banned from the forum for use of multiple sockpuppet accounts, advertising, and liking his own posts with sock accounts.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/corbindallasmultipass-memorial-thread.30974/post-9227018</ref>

In [[June 2021]], conflict arose between Bismuth and fellow Watchman [[Sean Walker|The WCT]], stemming from an allegation Bismuth had doxed the latter.<ref name=naughtthread></ref> Following a Lolcow.org thread on the ex-member of the group, an audio voice clip of Chris saying “Fuck Bismuth!”<ref>https://www.lolcow.org/data/audio/7/7468-370ce5544aee794a8de75b3181dd6c0f.mp3</ref> suggested that Chris sided against Bismuth in the dispute.

===The WCT===
[[File:BiggusDorkus.png|thumb|200px]]

{{Main|Sean Walker}}

'''Sean Walker''', primarily known as '''The WCT''', archived calls involving Chris and occasionally gave interviews to observers. In February 2021, he attempted to become the fourth person behind the role of Lainchu but Chris rejected his attempt. He was instrumental in the eventual downfall of the Watchmen, admitting in private that he had been "working with Former Kiwi Farmers to bring down the Watchmen" out of a personal dislike of Bismuth, which led to a cascade of events in which multiple people were doxxed and Chris left the Watchmen's server.<ref name="WCTThread>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sean-walker-psychic-espeon-wct-wildcat-neko.97689 Sean Walker / @Psychic Espeon / Lainchu / WCT / WildCat / Neko (etc.) - Self-described "Final Protagonist of Christory", spree-killer fanboy, connected to Bellagate]</ref>

Sean would later go on to become infamous in his own right for his own disturbed trolling plans and schemes with Bella. For information on that era of Sean's activity, see [[Sean Walker|Sean's main article]] and [[Isabella Loretta Janke]].

===MKRNightVee===
[[Image:MeghanRingo.jpg|250px|thumb|right|Meghan]]
[[File:MKR enabling.png|200px|thumb|right||Meghan enabling Chris's delusional thoughts.]]
{{quote|I am a [[CPU]], that means I am directly on the same level of godhood as [[Chris]]tine.|Meghan, replying to [[Sarah and Steve]] questioning if she really follows Chris's beliefs.<ref>[http://archive.md/lj64i Archive of 7 Nov 2019 tweet chain]</ref>}}

{{quote|Nothing lasts forever, especially not any group protecting Chris-chan.|Meghan, reflecting after her March 2021 ragequit.<ref>https://twitter.com/MKR11217089/status/1368024530325630980 (Archive https://archive.fo/rXsVi)</ref>}}

'''Meghan Kathleen Ringo''' (born 24 April 1992), also known under the aliases '''MKRNightVee''', '''CPUMagentaHeart''' and '''thepixietailartist''', and sometimes referred to as '''Maker''' by Chris, appeared in early [[2019]]. She got into contact with Chris through a friend looking up Chris's phone number for her.<ref name=cap2></ref> She presented herself to Chris as being the [[CPU]] goddess of the [[Nintendo Switch]], offering him validation on his fantasies of having magic powers.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meghan-k-ringo-mkrnightvee.52454/</ref> She has stated that her goal isn't to feed into Chris's delusions so much as to offer advice and help.<ref>[[:File:MKR motives.png]]</ref> Chris offered her several of his possessions in his [[Chris's Last Will and Testament|Last Will and Testament]].

She set up a Discord group for Chris, telling her friends to role-play as [[CPU]] goddesses to gain Chris's trust, while also instituting a no-trolling rule.<ref>[[:File:MKR Discord Rules.png]]</ref>

During the [[TF2 Analysis|TF2 Analysis saga]], she created an alt Twitter account named [[Creamarina]] and shared it with Chris to enable him to evade blocks.<ref>[[Misc texts#Creamarina]]</ref>

During the [[Jacob Sockness]] saga, in which Sockness attempted to manipulate Chris into a sexual relationship, Meghan saw the potential danger in Sockness's activities, and steered Chris away from him during summer 2019; Sockness, who at the time was engaging in a full-scale war against Chris's enablers, followers and critics alike, considered MKR to be a notable enemy of his, and apparently abused her verbally on Twitter as his second dramatic cycle approached its climax in early [[November 2019|November]]. She, as well as Aqua, largely mitigated Sockness's influence over Chris, though Chris was still willing to listen to Sockness.
[[File:mkrragequit.png|200px|thumb|left|Meghan ragequits in March 2021.]]
In March 2021, MKR temporarily gave up on helping Chris when she learned that he was planning on [[Taser Discussion|playing with a taser]] with his new friend group [[Praetor]], sending an angry Tweet directed towards him which expressed her disdain, before deleting her Twitter account a few days later.<ref>https://twitter.com/MKR11217089/status/1368024530325630980 (Archive https://archive.fo/rXsVi)</ref> However, she reactivated her account, and tweeted again to Chris in April, replying to Chris tagging her to show her a gif file,<ref>https://twitter.com/MKR11217089/status/1380732044951515137 (archive: https://archive.fo/fL8wZ)</ref> and later to reply to another of Chris's tweets in order to call [[Other enablers#Helena Fiorenza|one of his enablers]] a faggot.<ref>https://twitter.com/MKR11217089/status/1380756077864620033 (archive: https://archive.fo/Ybm8P)</ref>

In June 2021, internal conflict arose among Watchmen members over Bismuth allegedly doxing The WCT which resulted in the group separating. Meghan had sided with Bismuth and Chris against, leading to Chris distancing himself from Meghan in the fallout. On 29 June, Meghan tagged Chris’s Twitter and posted, “Your obviously good at using people and then moving on to the next. Have fun getting fucked over by WCT and [[Praetor]].”<ref>https://twitter.com/MKR11217089/status/1410076709148266498 (archive: https://archive.fo/zb0wM)</ref> She followed up by tweeting that she regretted having spent her time drawing art for Chris and accused him of being unappreciative of it.<ref>https://twitter.com/MKR11217089/status/1411511053872025605 (archive: https://archive.fo/8WSOI)</ref>

===AquaDiamond8===
{{quote|Christine...Please stop this, Mewtwo is not real, the [[merge]] is not happening, you need serious help. If you need help there are people to help you with these delusions. This is incredibly unhealthy for you.|AquaDiamond8, March 2019<ref>http://archive.md/50xPX</ref>}}

{{quote|Still i dont want <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Jacob Sockness]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> attacking my people when the merge happens, Christine has said there will be no more war or need for violence in the merge, my Sapphire has forseen this |AquaDiamond8 changes her tune, November 2019.<ref>http://archive.ph/0bMDM</ref>}}

[[File:Magi-Chan and AquaDiamond8.jpg|AquaDiamond8 and Magi-Chan. Drawn by Aqua November 2019.|thumb|200px]]

'''AquaDiamond8''' is a Twitter user who has bounced from being a [[ween]],<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-988#post-4495303</ref> to a [[white knight]], to an enabler and Watchman. In November 2019, during the [[Jacob Sockness]] saga, in hopes to lure Chris away from Sockness, Aqua joined the Watchmen and embraced Chris's delusional beliefs, changing her Twitter handle to '''CPU Goddess Aqua of the Mac Book Pro'''. Later, Aqua began drawing fanart of her [[OC]] interacting with [[Magi-Chan]].<ref>http://archive.md/lGets</ref> She then posted a Pokémon drawing, claiming it to be an alt-dimension Magi-Chan:<ref>http://archive.md/ETlxV</ref>

In [[September 2020]], Aqua confirmed in the comments of a Dillin Thomas video that they were no longer a part of the Watchmen.

{{quoteboxgreen|in all honesty at first i genuinly wanted to help chris but after the incident with Wendy i wanted to make things better, and try to help him, and as someone with autism, and who has family that acts like chris, i knew how dificult it is to get them to beleive certain things. I guess going along with it and pretending to be a goddess was better than letting her be on her own and let someone else take advantage of her.

Note that i never wanted anything from Chris, and did want to help, and despite what Dillin says about MKR or some of the "enamblers, not all of them are bad, MKR is the nicest person i know and i know that she truely does care for Chris.

I wanted to to help them with keeping sockness away from Chris and though it took some time ive seen chris is no longer taking his crap serious. I do keep up to date whats been going on, but i dont interact.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ak_ElSwC1Xo&lc=Ugw4uQfLu00i10Lrjq14AaABAg.9DSJjEeQ6nb9DSfhyTd-Ra (Archive https://archive.md/oob08)</ref>}}

==Minor Players==

===Owls===
[[File:Ryan Owls.png|thumb|200px|left|Ryan.]]
'''Ryan Winger''', also known as '''Owls''' to the other Watchmen, as '''GhostBird50''' on the [[Kiwi Farms]],<ref name=owlsaccount></ref> and as '''CpuTurquoiseHeart''' to Chris,<ref name=cpuowls></ref> was the original leader of the Watchmen group.<ref name=naughtclarify>[[:File:Naught origin clarify 1.png]] amd [[:File:Naught origin clarify 2.png]]</ref> Ryan advised MKRNightVee in interacting with Chris and founded the Watchmen's Discord server. Ryan also acted as a liaison between Watchmen and [[Guard Dogs]] member Marvin, though fellow Watchman Bismuth alleged that he hadn't been reporting back to Marvin.<ref name=naughtclarify></ref> Ryan left the group and was succeeded by Bismuth.

===Kyle===
A seemingly minor and or less active member of the Watchmen. '''Kyle''' appeared only in the [[CWC and Friends on Google Hangout (July 20th, 2020)|Google Hangout chats]]. Kyle was also apparently the inspiration for Chris's [[:File:KylechuOC.jpg|Kylechu]] OC.

==Lainchu==
[[File:Lainchu.jpg|thumb|200px|Lainchu, as drawn by MKRNightVee.]]

'''Lainchu''', also known as '''Lainchu the Chronicler''', is an OC created by Chris, whose purpose is to document Chris's activities (and unofficially, to provide Christorians with first hand information), based on the protagonist of the [[anime]], ''[[Wikipedia:Serial Experiments Lain|Serial Experiments Lain]]'', in which a teenage girl finds herself engaging with a virtual world network, reminiscent of the [[internet]].

Four Watchmen had taken up the responsibility to [[Role-play|larp]] as Lainchu;

*'''Bismuth''', who originally had the role<ref>[[:File:2021-03-18 Lainchu.png]]</ref>
*Former CWCki Discord server owner, '''Klop''', who took over in 7 [[August 2020]] until late August
*'''Anaxis''', who served as Lainchu from late August to mid [[February 2021]]<ref>[[:File:Lainchu_Anaxis1.png]]</ref><ref>[[:File:Lainchu_Anaxis2.png]]</ref><ref>[[:File:Lainchu_Anaxis3.png]]</ref>, and again in March 2021, after Chris responded poorly to the role-playing of Sean (see below) who could only maintain his attention for about a month.
*'''Sean Walker''' ("the WCT"/"Kat"/"Conner" and many other aliases) from mid February 2021 to [[March 2021]]<ref>[[:File:2021-02-20 Lainchu.png]]</ref>, who Chris rejected in the role.<ref>[[:File:2021-03-18 Lainchu.png]]</ref>

CWCki jerkop [[User:Hurtful Truth Level]], under the sockpuppet '''Carboncoffee99''', attempted to hide the involvement of one other Watchmen, Anaxis, in the larping of [[Lainchu]], adding the above list without listing Anaxis, and uploading two screencaps from the CWCki server, where he censors Chris's confirmation of their involvement.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:2021-02-20_Lainchu.png</ref><ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:2021-03-18_Lainchu.png</ref>

==Servers==
The Watchmen were in various [[Discord]] servers.

===Arbitarch CWC Alliance===
From before the Watchmen had fully come out to the public, the server was eventually shut down.

===The Place===
[[File:Watchmen Discord The Place.png|thumb|200px|The Place server.]]

The Place is the server Chris was in from 2020-June 2021. In [[August 2020]], the Watchmen announced the presence of the group publicly via the [[:Category:2020 Discord leaks|2020 Discord leaks]]. It was during this time the Watchmen name was adopted to describe the group.

Signs of the group collapsing began appearing around late [[June 2021]]. Earlier in the month, The WCT had been doxed on [[Kiwi Farms]] by an account named Nightmare, and signs pointed to fellow Watchman and group leader Bismuth as the person behind the account.<ref name=naughtthread>https://www.lolcow.org/threads/anameisaname-bismuth-anon-llc-naught-nitto-nanashi-death-of-chans-doppelganger-nightmare-tardwarsllc-heart-cpu-bismuth-heart.724/ (archive: https://archive.fo/G30td)</ref> When The WCT confronted Bismuth in a voice chat during the group’s movie night on 21 June, Bismuth denied the allegation, then threatened to further dox The WCT in an attempt to silence him. Kyle and MKRNightVee took Bismuth’s side in the dispute.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3hYztxRHRA </ref>

On 25 June, The WCT informed Chris about the infighting. He showed Chris screenshots of Nightmare's Kiwi Farms posts and the voice chat in which he had confronted the group over Bismuth being Nightmare. According to The WCT, Chris gradually processed the information, in particular picking up on red flags from Bismuth in the chat - noticing his defensiveness and hostility towards The WCT. Ultimately, Chris believed The WCT's evidence and apparently cut ties with Bismuth over it.<ref name=wctinterview>[[Watchmen#Interview]]</ref> A leaked voice clip of Chris saying “Fuck Bismuth!”<ref>https://www.lolcow.org/data/audio/7/7468-370ce5544aee794a8de75b3181dd6c0f.mp3</ref> was posted to a Lolcow.org thread made about Bismuth the following day.<ref name=naughtthread></ref>

Kyle banned The WCT from the Watchmen's [[Discord]] server. In response, Chris then decided to leave their server. As The WCT explained, "he saw my banning as a signal to him that my suspicions about Bismuth and the others were correct." The [[Praetor]] group, who had also been in the server, left it as well following Chris's departure.<ref name=wctinterview></ref>

On 29 June, MKRNightVee made multiple tweets that suggested Chris had cut communications with her. She tagged Chris’s Twitter and posted, “Your obviously good at using people and then moving on to the next. Have fun getting fucked over by WCT and [[Praetor]].”<ref>https://twitter.com/MKR11217089/status/1410076709148266498 (archive: https://archive.fo/zb0wM)</ref> She then followed up with accusations against The WCT, believing him to be messing with Chris and having sinister motives.<ref>https://twitter.com/MKR11217089/status/1410103600932548609 (archive: https://archive.md/UKGom)</ref>

===The Knights of CWC===
[[File:Watchmen Discord The Knights of CWC.png|thumb|200px|The Knights of CWC server.]]

The Knights of CWC was the server Chris was in from June 2021 until his August 2021 arrest for [[incest]]. The server was created following the internal conflict and breakup of The Place Watchmen group. It was headed by The WCT, who gathered some of the people from The Place, though he was unsure of calling his group by the Watchmen moniker. He also stated he wanted the group be kept secret as the earlier iteration of the Watchmen once had been.<ref>[[:File:WCT on Knights of CWC server.png]]</ref>

==Interviews==
===Bismuth===
On 4 [[September 2020]], a Christorian interviewed Bismuth through Discord, asking questions about the Watchmen. The interviewer's questions are color-coded red, with Bismuth's responses color-coded white.

{{collapsible|Q&A|The first four questions appear to be referring to the [[Arbitarch CWC Alliance]] server.

{{quoteboxred|Who started it and why?}}

{{quoteboxwhite|Owls the guy who set-up mkr and [[Joseph Draft]] got aqua and mkr to draw some art to lure cwc in.}}

{{quoteboxred|How did Chris join there?}}

{{quoteboxwhite|I was told it was going to be for Chris's patrons.}}

{{quoteboxred|Why was it killed?}}

{{quoteboxwhite|It was killed because owls and Joseph didn't know how to wrangle tards. Mkr aqua were being blamed for making it so I asked for a mod role kept asking for more perms and deleted all the channel's. I posted the rolling and trolling vid.}}

{{quoteboxred|Who killed it?}}

{{quoteboxwhite|I killed it, Joseph and Smokey Chris TheSperge were using the server to gather content, they convinced Joseph I was Johan.

After a 4 hour conversation I got Joseph draft to face dox himself once he destroyed his drive with chris vs the internet.}}

The last two appear to refer to the Watchmen as a group.

{{quoteboxred|Why did Aqua leave?}}

{{quoteboxwhite|Stress and people @ her on Twitter

Her and mkr are still frens}}

{{quoteboxred|Will this group be around forever?}}

{{quoteboxwhite|As long as Chris is in need or willing yes<ref>[[:File:4September2020 WatchmenOriginQ&A 1.png]][[:File:4September2020 WatchmenOriginQ&A 2.png]]</ref>}}}}

===The WCT===
{{Protip|Given what we now know about the WCT's true motivations, it's very likely much of what he claimed in this interview was a lie. Take everything he says with a grain of salt.}}
The WCT was interviewed over Discord about the Watchmen breakup on 11 July 2021. The WCT's messages are in blue and the interviewer's in green.

{{quoteboxgreen|Hi. Someone told me you’re The WCT. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to ask you some questions about the Watchmen breakup for the Cwcki.}}

{{quotebox|hi there.

and yes, by all means ask said questions.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|The initial conflict seems to be between you and Bismuth, that Bismuth doxed you. How did it grow to break up the Watchmen group?}}

{{quotebox|After I concluded that it was Bismuth that was responsible for the doxing, I made the choice to contact MKRNightVee (or Meghan some of you know her as) and I showed her a lot of screenshots in DMs that compared the typing style of his old Kiwi Farms accounts to one that he used to dox me. (which was Nightmare)

I recall telling her that I was 90 percent sure that it was him.

But in spite of the evidence that I had presented to her at the time, she didn't believe me. And during our VC on June 21st, She and Kyle were still not convinced.

They originally thought it was somebody who I angered in the past, but knowing what the Nightmare account was up to at the time, I knew that it was him.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|How did Chris learn of the dispute?}}

{{quotebox|Not long after the VC, I decided that I would contact him myself.

So with the help of a Former Watchmen who had his phone number, I was able to get in contact with him on June 25th.

And there, I had an hour and 40 minute talk with him that first started off as any conversation I'd usually have with him until I was comfortable enough to tell him the details.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Did you show Chris the same evidence that you did to MKRNightVee?}}

{{quotebox|When I was talking with MKR, I didn't show her as much evidence at the time since the Investigation was still ongoing. And compared to what I shared with Chris, I shared less with MKR.

Not because I didn't trust her, but it was because there was not enough information available at the time. And what I ended up showing Chris was a combination of the Kiwi Farms posts and the VC that I had with the rest of the group.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|How did Chris react to it?}}

{{quotebox|It took Chris a while to process it.

With each screenshot, he began to believe that my claims were true. And when we were both going over the VC, he noticed how Bismuth was getting really defensive and thought that he was clearly lying to me.

Especially when I told Bismuth that Josh (Null) claimed to me that him and Nightmare were the same person.
And that 3-4 seconds of silence on his part was something that helped convince Chris that I was in the right.

He also noticed how hostile Bismuth was getting towards me as well, especially when I kept on asking him if he doxed me or not. Chris saw that as a red flag.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Did Chris cut ties with Bismuth?}}

{{quotebox|From what I know, yes he did.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|What happened between Chris and MKRNightVee? MKR’s recent tweets indicate they’ve had a falling out. Is it related to the Watchmen breakup?}}

{{quotebox|yes it is.

Meghan was upset that Chris had sided with me in regards to what had happened.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|How does Praetor fit in to this? MKRNightVee has said in a tweet that you’ve teamed up with them.}}

{{quotebox|Praetor had nothing to do with what happened.

Its just that when they got word from Chris that he had left the server, they followed. So it makes sense on MKR's part to accuse me of working with them because we all either got banned or left the place at the same time.

It was a strange coincidence yes, but there is zero contact between me and Caden.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|What server did Chris leave?}}

{{quotebox|The Watchmen's Place.

as some of you might've heard of on the CWCki. - https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Discord#The_Watchmen.27s_Place}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Why did he leave it?}}

{{quotebox|when he got word that I got banned from the server (by Kyle that is), he saw it as a green light to leave it himself.

So essentially he saw my banning as a signal to him that my suspicions about Bismuth and the others were correct.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Are you still in contact with Chris?}}

{{quotebox|at this moment in time, I'm not.

We went our separate ways not long after the Watchmen had broken up and I believe that its for the best for both me and him.

And rather or not if he wants to be in touch with me still is completely up to him, but I won't be too surprised if he had already moved on at this point, and I respect whatever path he goes on moving forward.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Forgot to ask earlier, but what was your motivation for informing Chris of the conflict between you and Bismuth/MKR/Kyle?}}

{{quotebox|I was running out of options on what to do. When MKR and Kyle didn't believe my claims, I felt that I had no choice but to inform Chris on what had happened.

It was a very risky move on my part to do that, but I don't regret telling him.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|That’s all the questions I have. Thank you for answering. Is there anything else you would like to add?}}

{{quotebox|I just want to let people know that Chris is now a free man with nobody to dictate his actions. And for his sake, it needs to remain that way.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Thanks again. I'll look to getting this conversation to the CWCki. Do you want your username/avatar censored?}}

{{quotebox|yes}}

{{collapsible|Screencaps|<center><gallery>
File:The WCT interview1.png
File:The WCT interview2.png
File:The WCT interview3.png
File:The WCT interview4.png
File:The WCT interview5.png
File:The WCT interview6.png
</gallery>}}

==See also==
*[[CWCProtectSquad]]
*[[Guard Dogs]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Fantasies}}
{{People}}

Robert Simmons V

2021-05-11T23:32:50Z

Sandubadear:

: ''"Robert" redirects here. For the late Chandler family patriarch, see [[Bob Chandler]].''

{{Troll}}

{{infobox
| title = Robert Simmons V
| image = [[Image:RobertSimmonsVsRosechuFanart.jpg|250px|center]]
|header1 = Information
|label1 = Name
|data1 = Robert Simmons V
|label2 = Also known as
|data2 = Sonichu1985<br>Solidus Chris
|label3 = Date of Birth
|data3 = c. 1985
|label4 = Gender
|data4 = Male
|label5 = Nationality
|data5 = [[United States|American]]
|label6 = [[Chris and race|Race]]
|data6 = White
|label7 = Father
|data7 = Robert Simmons IV
|label8 = Relatives
|data8 = Andrew Simmons I (cousin)
}}

'''Robert Simmons V''' (born [[1985]]; a.k.a. '''Sonichu1985''', '''Solidus Chris''') was an [[Trolls|anti-troll]] who befriended [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on [[YouTube]] in [[2008]] and [[2009]].

He put on his act copying Chris's traits pat, with a [[Medallions|Sonichu medallion]] of his own (really just the classic [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] colored yellow and with no [[Sonichu]] tail), talked in a [[Speech impediment|loud monotone]], liked ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' (and very kindly wished that CWC would also have Sailor Moon for a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]]), and performed a song he wrote for Chris-chan, complete with a sequence in which he heroically smote to death [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] and the [[Jerkops|Robotnikjerks]].

__TOC__

{{clear}}

==YouTube==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|UtlMYYvEsvU}}</center>

The events that took place in Robert Simmons' life also coincided with Christian's life, from account hacking, to getting the medallion taken. Robert Simmons seems to have a slightly disturbing relationship with his sinister cousin Andrew Simmons I, who is not a good actor, that seems to parallel Chris's own Fem-dom/Male-sub kink.

Robert Simmons V also appeared in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] in the radio interview with [[Jiggliami]].

By 21 [[February 2009]], Robert Simmons V had taken down all of his videos and changed his profile to announce:

{{quote|I decided to remove all of my videos because I have come to the realization that Mr. [[Christian Weston Chandler]] is a horrible person. It took me awhile to understand that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] did not slander Chris but rather was telling the truth. From lying to his fans about the [[Nintendo]] deal, to his perverted ways, I cannot bring myself to be a fan of [[Sonichu (comic)|his comics]] anymore (not to mention he doesn't even bother to update anymore). My only regret in this whole ordeal is that I wasted my time trying to defend such a [[Ego|self centered, arrogant]], [[Women's rights|sexist]], [[Homos|homophobic]] asshole. As my cousin said it himself about Chris "What a selfish Cow, bottom line lose some fucking [[Obesity|weight]], God Dammit!"}}

Robert later claimed that these were not actually his TRUE and HONEST words, but rather, those of [[Clyde Cash]], who had hacked his account.<ref>[[Church audio#00:06:27 - A Wild Chris-Chan Appears]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
Image:RobertSimmonsV1.jpg
Image:RobertSimmonsV2.jpg
Image:RobertSimmonsV3.jpg
Image:RobertSimmonsV4.jpg
Image:RobertSimmonsV5.jpg
Image:RobertSimmonsV6.jpg
Image:RobertSimmonsV7.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Church visit==
{{main|Church audio}}

On 15 [[March 2009]], days before [[Emily]]'s date, Robert and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] drove to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Chris's church]] uninvited. Robert goes up to Chris while the other troll remains in the background. Introducing himself with "Hi... I'm Robert," Chris recognizes him and they start talking.

Robert accompanies Chris to church, highlights from the audio include, [[trolls]], Chris's sweetheart search, ''[[Family Guy]]'' and [[homos]]exuality.

==In the comic==
Robert Simmons V appears in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], as does [[Blazebob Sonichu]], who was inspired by Robert.

<center><gallery>
File:RobertSimmonsCommic.jpg|Robert Simmons V, in comic form. A very rare sight - a [[JERKS|male]] in a [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]], aside from Christian himself, portrayed positively.
File:Sonichufan1985.jpg
</gallery></center>

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Liquid Chris]]
*[[Andrew Simmons chat]]
*[[Jacob Sockness]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/CompleteFailure2 Robert Simmons videos re-uploaded]
*[http://stream.wellimean.com/cwc/ Abridged church audio]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Simmons V, Robert}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Talk:Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008

2017-11-23T23:09:54Z

Sandubadear: /* Megan secret word? */ new section

For me, this video encapsulates all that is Chris. He messes his words up, shows ignorance about multiple subjects, screws up the wishes of the person who he believes is Megan, shows his inability to abandon childish things, his casual view of violence, shows how self centred his comic series is, shows him obsession with his own comfort and inability to handle such minor irritations like "my wrist rests on my fake guitar", lies about his love life, and abandons something (in this case the regular Q&A videos) shortly after it gets started. All this is missing is a violent outburst and threat to be THE quintessential CWC video. I know it's a very old video, but is there anyone else who thinks this video deserves some kind of special status? I'm just a newfag so it's not really my place to say, but this video really summarises the cheerful side of Chris for me. A lying, moronic, childish, creepy bastard. -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 13:55, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

==Names of people submitting questions==

I was there when everybody was submitting questions for this, but I can't remember the usernames of the people who got their questions answered, and relying on Christian to enunciate clearly isn't working too well. If anyone has corrections, please edit the transcript. Don't assume I'm right about any of those names, except that cockmaster MachPunch. --[[User:MachPunch|MachPunch]] 20:49, 22 February 2009 (CET)

:*I'm not sure about most of the names either, and even for the ones that I am sure, I don't know how they're capitalized or anything.
:*I made one definite fix to your transcription of names when I replaced your "[unintelligible]" with "NintendoMafia", which rang out to me clear as day. I'm also confident that your "Stalin[?]" is indeed "Stalin", and so, I removed that doubt mark.
::*Stalyn. He was the founder of #chris-chan, the precursor to [[Sonichu (IRC)|#sonichu]]. I remember sending that guy a PM saying "Dude! You're in one of Chris's fucking videos!." It might be helpful to check out the old ED archives - many of the people who submitted questions were active with ED back then. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:59, 9 June 2009 (CEST)
:::*Okay. I'll make that spelling fix in the couple of places where his name is mentioned. As for the two other names below, I'll leave it to someone else to go researching them. I've already labored over this transcript enough for one lifetime. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 04:08, 9 June 2009 (CEST)
:*The two other names that I changed, I'm not clear about at all, though to my ears, what I've written sounds like a closer approximation than what you had. In one case, I changed "MudkipsStar[?]" to "OkiaStar[?]". I ''understand'' the "Mudkips" reference, but I don't ''hear'' it. (And yet, "Okia" really isn't a word or name either.) In the other case, I changed "AquaP[?]" to "AwfulP[?]". That at least sounded closer to what I hear, but again, I'm not sure that it's right. Like you, I invite corrections, especially from anyone who actually ''knows'' the names! [[User:Llort|Llort]] 03:49, 9 June 2009 (CEST)

== Megan secret word? ==

Does anyone know what is the secret word? [[User:Sandubadear|Sandubadear]] ([[User talk:Sandubadear|talk]]) 23:09, 23 November 2017 (UTC)

Asperchu/Background

2016-12-07T23:02:50Z

Sandubadear: /* Metal Asperchu */ they don't die

:''This article is about "Asperchu", a very well-thought-out webcomic.<br />For Chris's views and such and all that, see [[Asperchu]].''

<center>{{#ev:youtube|yHXBFT6G5c0}}</center>

{{Quote|I think Asperchu is a pretty nice guy. He faces his fear of [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor|rejection]], tries his best to be tactful and humble, and he just wants somebody to love. Oh dear god, you made a sympathetic [[Wikipedia:Bizarro World|bizzaro]] [[Chris]].|An anon on [[/cwc/]], summarizing what makes Asperchu so unique.}}

{{quote|I detest "Asperchu", because one, it is a [[Parody]] of a [[Sonichu]] with [[aspergers]], which with the condition, I have no care for. And two, it is just lousy; if aspergers is really like [[autism]], then the creator really knows nothing about Autism.|Chris<ref>[[Mailbag 24]]</ref>}}

[[Image:AsperchuFanArt.png|thumb|That's right, '''Asperchu''' is so popular, it's fan art that has received fan art of itself]]

'''''The Amazing Asperchu''''' (also called ''Asperchu: The Amazing Tales'' and ''The Spectacular Asperchu'') is a [[parody]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' detailing the zany misadventures of [[Asperchu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] with [[Asperger syndrome]]. It can be read [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/ here].

''Asperchu'' pokes fun at everything that makes [[Chris]]'s ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic series what it is. Unlike ''Sonichu'', where everyone praises Chris for what he's done, the same cannot be said for Asperchu, whose descent into the same giant prick that Chris has become has the entire supporting cast detest him. Another thing that has earned the ire of Chris is its tablet-drawn style - this is, more or less, a delusional thing for Chris, who [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|believes that it doesn't have the same "character"]] as [[Chris and art|his paper-and-pencil-drawn pages]].

{{TOC limit|2}}

==Protagonists==

===Asperchu===
[[Image:Asperchu.jpg|thumb|left|150px|The Good, Godly, STRAIGHT Asperchu]]

Asperchu is a high-functioning Electric/Asperger's Hedgehog Pokémon. He has no Electric-type attacks; however, his Asperger's-type attacks do double damage against Autistic-type Pokémon. His strongest attack is the ''Asperhameha'', which hits his target with a blast of furious energy and can leave them confused and prone to developing mental blocks of their own.

Asperchu lives in Minnesota with his grandparents, Grandma Snorlax and Grandpa Alzheichu; his father went out to get a case of beer and promised to be right back, although this was some time in late [[2003]] and he hasn't been seen since. When not working hard on [[YouTube]] videos, he prefers to relax by playing video games on his [[Xbox 360]] or hanging out with his joy-boys at the mall food court. He attends [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Normandale Community College]] with his two best joy-boys, Max and Jivin. However, Asperchu's adventures and his recent state of mind has made him forget this detail and he has missed 195 days of school.

He is currently on a [[Love Quest]] to obtain a [[gal-pal]] whom he can build into a [[sweetheart from the ground up]]. His standards for a gal-pal are not terribly stringent, although he will not abide gingers or tolerate those who do. He eventually met and fell in love with Dixie Chu, beginning his Dix Quest to win her heart. Having been rejected, though, Asperchu has been spending most of his time absorbed in video games and won't go anywhere without his Xbox Portable. As well, Asperchu has an incredible dislike for [[slow-in-the-mind]]s.

For a long time, Asperchu's hope for his Love Quest was to be able to finally have his dream-daughter Asperia, which later became unnecessary when he traveled back in time and met the [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] of the past. Both of them drank the [[semen|Special Fanta Brew]] that created [[Sonichu]] in the past; when Asperchu returned to the present, he found that he too was pregnant and defecated out a deformed monster, naming it "Asperia". While at first ecstatic to have her, he later grew bored of taking care of her and tried leaving her in the care of his grandma while he continued playing video games. Asperia was killed by [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].

Currently, Asperchu is being manipulated by a squirrel-creature calling itself "[[Rocky]]", telling Asperchu that he need never take responsibility for his actions. Unbeknownst to Asperchu, "Rocky" is one of the mysterious [[Man in the Pickle Suit|MIPS]].

It has been revealed that the source of Asperchu's powers is the Chaos Pickle of Diligence, though Asperchu believed that he was [[GodJesus]]'s next prophet.

*Asperchu is, of course, based on [[Christian Weston Chandler]]; his overweight appearance and clothing precisely emulate Chris's, and Asperchu's goatee is from Chris's [[Rollin' and Trollin']] phase. Asperchu's mannerisms are also directly copied from Chris, especially the [[ego]], narcissism, self-entitlement, and fixation on the [[Love Quest]]. Also, Asperchu's saga parallels Chris's descent into madness, with early issues focusing on Asperchu's fairly-innocent and [[naïve]] Love Quest, and later issues showing him to be just as big a [[duck|prick]] as Chris has become. It even goes as far as to hypothesize what Chris would do with a child if his wish came true: reasonably, he would get tired of said child and neglect to take care of it.

===Sonichu===
[[Image:TheOtherAsperchu.jpg|thumb|150px|Asperchu's bestest joy-boy Sonichu, who eventually got his own spin-off comic due to the popularity of Asperchu]]

The brother, hetero-life mate, and STRAIGHT joy-boy of Asperchu, with whom he is engaged in an everlasting, STRAIGHT bromance. Or at least he ''was''...

[[Sonichu]] shows up from time to time to assist Asperchu in his adventures and in defeating the villainous forces of the [[Troll]] Lords. Even if there aren't any villains to fight or adventures to be had, however, Sonichu and Asperchu just can't stand to be apart for long, so occasionally they will meet up for a [[Homos|late night snuggling rendezvous]]. He is currently running for the office of District Attorney of [[Virginia]], on a vigorous platform of promoting both gay rights and recognition of [[Asperger's Syndrome]] as a component of the Autism Spectrum. Or at least he ''did...''

Sonichu was created in [[1999]] by Ian Brandon Anderson through an unholy mixture of human and Chu semen with Fanta. At first, Ian was overjoyed at having a son of his own, especially one who'd be a loyal and true son, unlike [[Bionic]]. However, Ian got bored of trying to raise Sonichu, especially when it got into his video game playing time. Casting him into a raft, Sonichu floated down the river until he was found by the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler, who raised Sonichu as his own son. When Ian Brandon Anderson took over [[CWCVille]], Sonichu was forced to be married off to [[Rosechu]], only for him and the rest of the [[Chaotic Combo]] to revolt. Arriving in ALBVille, he and the rest of the Chaotic Combo fought to free CWCVille from Ian's grips. However, the release of Metal Asperchu would change all that as he would slaughter most of the Combo. When Sonichu went to confront Ian at last, Metal Asperchu made short work of him, lopping off his right arm. When Asperchu, Max and Jivin returned from the past, Asperchu revealed off-handedly that Ian was his father. Sonichu went on a quest to find the truth, only to end up with Mitch Chu dead. When Christian told Sonichu the truth, it drove Sonichu insane. He hunted down Ian as he was kidnapping Asperia and blew out his kneecaps, accidentally killing Asperia. Being captured by Bionic again, he provoked Sonichu into killing Ian for good. As a gift, he grafted Ian's arm where Sonichu's once was. When Argentum was released, he teleported Asperchu and Sonichu to the time when the [[4-Cent_Garbage]] Center was destroyed, only for the hedgehog to tear apart the place. When Sonichu returns to the present, Sonichu attempts to call Asperchu a monster, but he feels himself unworthy of Chris's love and runs away.

While in self-imposed exile in Molvanîa, he finds himself possessed by the soul of Ian and, in fear, runs to Bionic for help. When Bionic can't help him, the two rescue Sinestro from his prison. However, not even Sinestro understands Sonichu's odd transformation, his fur turning blue, his eyes taking Ian's [[heterochromia]] styling, [[Obesity|his cholesterol level skyrocketing]] and wanting to play the [[PS3]] for 5 to 9 hours.

In an alternate universe of sorts, Sonichu is shown as an actual [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]-like character fighting an evil madman named [[Robotnik|CWC-Botnik]].

At the end of Issue #F, Sonichu is no more, taken over by Ian's personality, becoming the dreaded ... '''Chris-Chan Sonichu'''.

===Max===
[[Image:Max.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Asperchu's plucky, polyurethane sidekick]]

Close friend of Asperchu and Jivin. He is always a True, Caring friend who only ever looks out for his joy-boys. He is composed of 80% memory foam and is capable of absorbing the properties and attacks of other people by temporarily ingesting them. His transformations include [[Wikipedia:Guido|Guido]], [[Wikipedia:Waffen SS|Waffen SS]], [[Niggos|2Pac]] and the Yellow Devil.

At the funeral for the Chaotic Combo, it's revealed that Max is also a Christian minister.
(Max is a completely original character and is not derived from [[Wikipedia:Kirby (character)|any source]] other than Alec Benson Leary's own imagination.)

===Jivin Pickles===
[[Image:Jivin.jpg|thumb|150px|Aww, shit son, Asperchu just got GANGSTA all up in here]]

The son of a prominent cucumber farmer, Jivin is Asperchu's [[Niggos|black]] best friend. He is keen to assist Asperchu in his [[Love Quest]], although some speculate it is merely an excuse for him to pursue his own personal Fuck Quest, as his attitude toward [[sweethearts]], while enthusiastic, appears less than wholesome at times. Instead of [[Christmas]], Jivin celebrates [[Wikipedia:Kwanzaa|Kwanzaa]]. Asperchu has suggested that he possibly does not realize Jivin is black. The Pickles family are the guardians of one of the seven Chaos Pickles.

Jivin is a fan-favorite on Asperpedia that has received his own sub-episode.[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/21069]

===Groovan===
Close friend of Max, Asperchu and Jivin. ''Asperchu'' issue Ten claims that they have always been friends, but Asperchu seems to have failed to notice him before then due to him blending in to the background.

==Villains==
===Ian Brandon Anderson===
[[Image:IBAasperchu.png|thumb|150px|left|The evil and deceitful IAN BRANDON SOMETHING]]

[[Ian]] believes himself to be the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler, but is instead a [[fat]], insane manchild. Ian rules [[CWCville]] through a totalitarian and Nazi-like regime, although the CWCville People's Liberation Front (CPLF) constantly fights against his oppression. He forced women in middle school and older into prostitution as a perverse form of "[[Dating Education|sexual education]]".

This recently changed after Ian's lengthy absence, leading to [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Mayorshack Tito]]'s takeover and the return of justice to CWCville.

If he doesn't get his way, he uses his [[Megatron Pistol|Transformers gun]] to silence anyone who questions his delusions. Ian attempted to murder Christian to prove that he was the real Chris-chan, and also attempted to murder the "parodic" Sonichus before being set on fire by Metal Asperchu and losing his Transformers gun, where it passes hands until it is given away by Noir Chu.

In [[1999]], Ian had created Bionic, but quickly lost interest in him as the hedgehog attempted to win over his love. Fired from his job at [[Wendy's]] by [[Giovanni]], Ian discovered Asperchu and quickly became friends with him. He introduced him to his [[gal-pals]] [[Ivy]] and [[Megan]] before encountering his future self. The two fought and the younger Ian proved victorious. He attempted to have sex with the two before Megan tazered him. Trapped by the foppish Principal Blaziken, Bionic came to his aid, but Ian mistook Asperchu for the hero, breaking his creation in the process. He invites Asperchu to his house where he convinces Asperchu to surrender some of his [[comeuppance]] to create the Special Fanta Brew. Summoning [[Beel|Satan]] to his house after drinking the cup with their comeuppance, he has him use his satanic powers to turn them into a Sonichu inside his stomach. The younger Ian would encounter the older Ian, forcing the two to attack with their [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s, leading to Bionic being rendered how he is now. Disgusted by Bionic's perceived failure, Ian abandoned Bionic and, ten weeks later, gave birth to Sonichu. The birth, however, left his [[duck]] bent at a horrible angle. He later abandoned Sonichu since taking care of him took away from his time playing video games, so he sent him on a raft hoping that he'd raise himself to become the son he wanted without putting any effort into it.

When the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler disappeared, Ian initiated a coup on CWCville, quickly gaining control. As the Asperchu series shares the same universe as ''[[Simonchu]]'' and ''[[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]]'', it is said that he was able to con the people into thinking he was the true Christian Weston Chandler. In short order, Ian ravaged the city, destroyed it's commerce center and driven or killed 70% of its population, placing the remaining citizens under martial law.

Years later, Ian reappeared, seeking to aid in the rescue of Asperchu, only to encounter the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler and be sat on fire by Metal Asperchu. Through various conversations, we learned that Ian had raped a number of Rosechu as well as Mitch Chu. When Metal Asperchu attacked, Ian took up a Son-Chu and battled it out, nearly winning until the robot took advantage of damage Simonchu inflicted. When the robot activated a time warp, he was tossed into the past and beaten by his past self. He attempted to fight again, only to encounter Max. He completely ignores Max's impassioned plea to stop fighting and races back to his house, encountering his younger self and set off the chain of events that would shunt him back into the present, where Metal Asperchu awaited. For a time, Ian was Bionic's prisoner, utterly unable to remember who he was. When Sonichu broke into his cell in an attempt to learn the truth of his past, Ian told him a fake story, only to be rejected by Sonichu. He attempted to escape with Sonichu, only to be captured in the process, passing out until the real Chris rescued everyone. Upon learning of Asperia, Ian sought to take her away because he feels that she is actually his daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Upon attempting to spirit away Asperia, Sonichu blows out his kneecaps (accidentally killing Asperia) and is captured by Bionic. Bionic then uses the mentally unstable Sonichu to butcher his father. Ian finally meets his end with Sonichu's axe and Bionic's gun. As a reward, [[Metal Gear Solid|Bionic grafts Ian's right arm onto Sonichu's stump in place of the one he lost in Issue 3.]]

However, the soul of Ian lives on within Sonichu and whenever he takes over, he causes Sonichu's eyes to take its heterochromic styling.

*[[Ian Brandon Anderson]] is a version of Chris based on the [[Liquid Chris]] saga. Ian's appearance is a direct parody of Chris. Ian's death mirrors that of the deaths of Evan, Sean, and Mao in [[Sonichu 10]].

===Bionic the Hedgehog===
[[File:Bionicc.jpg|thumb|149px|Why don't you love me, father?]]
Ian Brandon Anderson's hedgehog creation. In 1999, Bionic was a jovial and [[homos|gay]] creature who encountered Jivin, Asperchu and Max after their time slip. They learned that he had sought to win Ian's love as the manchild slowly lost interest in stuff other than [[ego|himself]] and [[china|women]]. When Bionic rescued Ian from Principal Blaziken, Ian mistook Asperchu as his savior and scolded Bionic, which broke him. Rescued by Jivin, but apparently lost his ability to speak (most likely swallowed his tongue), Bionic attempted to return to Ian, only to watch as his older self and younger self prepared to fire a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha on each other. Bionic saved an unwitting Asperchu from getting struck, only to be hit by the blasts. Losing an arm and being badly burned and scarred, Ian abandons him for his Sonichu. He attempts to get a job at McDonald's, but he is rejected by Robotnik. Rejected by his father and other lower forms, Bionic plots burning revenge against Ian.

Years later, Metal Asperchu would find him wheelchair-bound in a [[Wikipedia:Dr. Wily|Dr. Wily-esque]] fortress. Bionic gave Metal Asperchu a Chaos Pickle as a sign of goodwill, then had him go after certain targets and kill them. Robotnik was first, killed for rejecting Bionic from McDonald's. Ian was the second target. When Metal Asperchu used the Chaos Pickles to create the time warp, he watched with joy as another robotic figure emerged. He finally managed to capture his father Ian Brandon Anderson (who forgot that Bionic was his first son and mistook him for another Sonichu parody), as well as his brother Sonichu. When the real Chris arrives to rescue Sonichu, he kills Mitch in cold blood before escaping.

Bionic returns and seemingly reveals his true master plan: by driving Sonichu insane through the revelation of his true parentage, he uses the broken Electric Hedgehog Pokémon to murder Ian Brandon Anderson; in essence, turning his favorite son against him. His plans for the body of the dead Asperia is currently unknown.

He attempted to help Sonichu with his strange transformation, but Sonichu stopped him and Sinestro, feeling this new form is much better. He is later called in to be a judge[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/482] for Asperchu's trial.

*Bionic's condition is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:Christopher Pike|Christopher Pike]], the first captain of ''Star Trek's USS Enterprise'', with the exception that Bionic could still talk while Pike could only respond with light. His judge outfit resembles that worn by [[Wikipedia:Q (Star Trek)|Q]] in the ''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek: The Next Generation|Star Trek: The Next Generation]]'' series premiere, "[[Wikipedia:Encounter at Farpoint|Encounter at Farpoint]]" and again in the finale, "[[Wikipedia:All Good Things...|All Good Things...]]".
*Similarly, Bionic's crippled body, mobile life support system, mechanized speech, distorted eyes, and general air of malevolent mystery could be based on [[Wikipedia:Davros|Davros]], one of the main villains on ''[[Wikipedia:Doctor Who|Doctor Who]].''
*Also, Bionic's base is based off a [[dream]] Chris mentioned about people being killed in a "[[Mailbag_39#In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason|SKULL-SHAPED]]" factory.

===Metal Asperchu===
Metal Asperchu was to be Sinestro's ultimate tool in finding the seven Chaos Pickles, but refused to follow his orders and proceeded to seek the Chaos Pickles on his own. Metal attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion to guide his quest, then brutally murdered three of the five members of the Chaotic Combo.

From there he goes and forms an alliance with the severely crippled Bionic the Hedgehog, doing random tasks like blowing up fast [[McDonald's|food restaurants]] and killing [[Robotnik|Teddy Roosevelt]]. Bionic then orders the robot to bring him Christian Weston Chandler as his final task. He confronts Ian and attempts to kill him, only to be damaged in the process. He uses the four Pickles he gathered to take a new form and banish Ian, Asperchu, Max and Jivin to another time. When the four return, Metal Asperchu has taken up a new form and easily captures Ian. After obtaining the fifth Chaos Pickle, he decides to hold off on number six until he can unlock his full database. Confronting Sinestro, he learns the truth of the fourth directive, then releases Yellow Devil, Cthulu Chu and Bubastis Chu before imprisoning Sinestro in one of the tubes. After killing Cthulu Chu, he figures out the secret of the Fourth Directive and forces Sinestro to watch his work finally unfold. However, after the creation of Argentum and his subsequent turning, Metal Asperchu has gone into a massive blue screen of death. Soon after, WesLi Chu gives Metal Asperchu a disk and he begins scanning seven individuals who are part of the Anchuent Prophecy. He scans Asperchu, WesLi Chu, Sonichu, Chris and two others (presumably Alzheichu and Dino Dash) before the heroes attack him in his attempt to get the last one. He attacks Noir Chu and Aspercream and defeats many of the heroes before Alzheichu stabs him with Chris's knife, briefly causing him to go haywire and explode, destroying him and finally releasing the Chaos Pickles.

* Based on [[Metal Sonichu]] who in turn is based on Metal Sonic.

===Other villains===

;Sinestro
As the apparent leader of the trolls, Sinestro has attempted to create numerous clones of Asperchu in order to find the seven Chaos Pickles, including Metal Asperchu and Noir Chu. Lisa and Dino Dash have been at his command from the very beginning, and he has convinced John to join him as well. After activating and losing Metal Asperchu, Sinestro has found himself pushed aside as the main villain before being locked up completely by his own creation. He was recently rescued by Sonichu and Bionic in an attempt to cure Sonichu's odd transformation.
*Sinestro's name comes from a [[Wikipedia:Sinestro|comic-book villain]], while his appearance is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:List_of_Excel_Saga_characters#Il_Palazzo|Il Palazzo]] of ''[[Excel Saga]]'' (whose appearance was also copied by Chris for the character [[ScotPalazzo]]), and his hairstyle is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:OrganizationXIII#Xemnas|Xemnas]] of the ''[[Wikipedia:Kingdom Hearts|Kingdom Hearts]]'' series and/or [[Wikipedia:Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)|Sephiroth]] from the [[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy|Final Fantasy]] series.

;Lisa
A girl who attends Normandale Community College. Asperchu took a fancy to her, and worked up the courage to ask her on a date for some fine dining and pleasant conversation at the local Burger King and she agreed. However, her plan all along was to steal his Asperchu Medallion and lower his Heart Level. Although Asperchu later defeated her in battle, she still succeeded in both goals. She appears to be in the employ of Sinestro, to whom she delivered the Medallion. She has recently returned in an attempt to find and retrieve a disk that had been used by Metal Asperchu
*Lisa most closely resembles Chris's ex-sweetheart [[Blanca]]. As with Lisa, Blanca pretended to be interested in Chris in order to steal his medallion. Her asking him out on a fake date is based on the acts of proto-troll [[Hanna]].

;John and Kendra
John (YouTube handle: '''GJ-Radar''', "GJ" presumably standing for [[GodJesus]]) is a born-again Baptist from rural Texas; He also represents some of Chris's [[Chris and religion|religious]] beliefs, such as his fear of [[Niggos|darkies]] and [[Homos|homogays]], aside from [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. John and his fiancée '''Kendra''' traveled to Minnesota after becoming aware of Asperchu's YouTube rants, which they deemed sacrilegious and sinful. John confronted Asperchu and demanded that he overcome his hypocrisy; Asperchu responded by challenging him to a YouTube Godstar Challenge to prove who the real Christian was. John was declared to be the one true Christian, while Asperchu was declared a fraud. Asperchu subsequently stole John's own crucifix necklace and used it to power his Jesus-hameha attack, which hit and injured Kendra when she intervened. Sinestro approached John, offering to heal Kendra in return for his services.
* Based off the [[Singstar Challenge]] of the [[Liquid Saga]]. John and Kendra most likely represent [[Liquid]] and [[Kacey]].

;Dino Dash
Dino Dash is the guido who kidnapped Jonas Chu in order to impersonate him at the Guitar Hero championship and abduct Dixie Chu as part of Sinestro's plan to obtain the seven Chaos Pickles. He is the strongest and most cunning of Sinestro's pawns.
*Dino Dash is based on [[Clyde Cash]].

;Count Plot Cohesuon
Count Plot Cohesuon is the mysterious force that may be behind Sinestro's search for the Chaos Pickles. He is not fond of ''dei ex machina''. According to Alec's comments on Issue 5E, Plot Cohesuon is Count Graduon's cousin and he's also dead, having used his powers on himself in an accident.
*Count Plot Cohesuon is a parody of [[Count Graduon]] from the original Sonichu comic.

;Silvana Rosechu
The evil, hermaphroditic Rosechu from the Sonichu series. Even more evil and cunning, she appears to work for Ian Brandon Anderson. She murders Bubbles and Magi-Chan, then lures Asperchu towards Ian, where's she's forced to become [[Meg Griffin]] for Ian's pleasure.[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/231] She also has a noticeable bulge.

;Yellow Devil
A leftover from Dr. Wily's usage, the Yellow Devil now works for Bionic, capturing Sonichu and Ian as they attempt to escape. It crushes Mitch Chu's legs, smacks Jivin around and fights Max before he is defeated by the real Chris.
*Based on the [[List_of_Mega_Man_characters#Bio-Devil|Yellow Devil]] from the ''Megaman'' game series.

==Supporting characters==

===Asperchu's family===

;Grandpa Alzheichu
Asperchu's grandfather, an [[racist|old-fashioned]] Sonichu who spends most of his time sitting in his armchair and watching television. He also likes to make Asperchu do [[stress]]ful chores around the house. Alzheichu is married to Grandma Snorlax. Alzheichu sacrifices himself to stop Metal Asperchu's assault.
*Alzheichu is based on [[Bob Chandler]].

;Grandma Snorlax

Asperchu's grandmother. Spends all of her time sleeping in the backyard. Snorlax is married to Alzheichu. Lost her left foot due to Asperia's hunger.
*"[[Wikipedia:Snorlax|Snorlax]]" is the nickname given to [[Barbara Chandler]].

;Asperia Chu

The future daughter of Asperchu, as foretold by [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]] in a dream. Asperia Chu is definitely not a ginger. Asperia finally became a reality as a side effect of Past Chris's plans to become pregnant with Sonichu. When Asperchu craps her out in the present, he fails to realize what a disfigured abomination she really is. Asperchu quickly gets bored of her and, instead of taking care of her, stuffs her in the fridge or leaves her with sleeping Grandma Snorlax.

In one of Asperchu's daydreams of Asperia, she's seen wearing a bikini top and a thong underneath a skirt. This is likely mirroring Chris's [[pedofork]] tendencies. He also describes her as "the pinnacle of his existence", attributing to his own narcissism.

Sadly, Asperia is the latest victim of Ian Brandon Anderson's evils. Having been kidnapped by the madmanchild, she is accidentally killed by a vengeful Sonichu in his attempts to get back at him. However, Bionic recovers her body, and it is heavily implied he has plans for her since he sympathizes with having a neglectful father.

*Asperia Chu is based on [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]]. As with Crystal, her name is a feminine version of her "father's." Also, Asperia's [[Wikipedia:Alien (creature in Alien franchise)|"Alien" appearance]] may be a jab at the [[Sonee and Rosey]] designs which have horrified many.

===[[Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)|The Chaotic Combo]]===
*'''Wild Sonichu''' is the leader of the Chaotic Combo and Simonchu's gay lover. Despises Asperchu's desire to win back Dixie Chu.

*'''Angelica Rosechu''' uses her wings and her faith in GodJesus to help her fight the forces of evil.

*'''Punchy Sonichu''' is the master of the "anshuent Chinaman martial arts." He has a very noticeable accent due to his ethnicity.

*'''Bubbles Rosechu''' is the entirely useless member who just hangs out with the group. She is extremely [[retarded|slow-in-the-mind]] and is prone to injuring herself.

*'''Magi-Chan Sonichu''' uses his psychic powers to aid the Chaotic Combo. Magi-Chan is able to locate any person by going into a five-and-a-half hour trance. He also likes to go on long walks in the park and [[Mass debate]] to videos of Simonchu and Wild's Honeymoon. He also seems to have a thing for Simonchu as well.

Wild, Angelica and Punchy were all brutally murdered by Metal Asperchu. Bubbles and Magi-Chan are later murdered by Silvana.

===Christian Weston Chandler===
[[Image:RealcwcAsperchu.png|thumb|150px|The TRUE and HONEST CWC (also the true and honest medallion)]]

Sonichu's father and creator, Christian is the hero of CWCville, always willing to risk his life and do what is necessary for the greater good. He helped to reform CWCville after the war with Albville under the reign of his father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert "The Lumberjack" Chandler]] and restored peace before Ian's hostile takeover. After assisting Asperchu's assault on Sinestro's castle, Christian left to pursue Ian Brandon Anderson.

In Issue 4, it's revealed that he raised Sonichu since as far back as he could remember, and trained him how to fight and WHEN to fight. However, during the time travel episode, Asperchu shed's light on the mayors past that puts Sonichu's biological parentage in doubt. The hedgehog now seeks Chris to try to find out the truth of his parentage. Instead, Chris finds them, rescuing them from Bionic, though not before Bionic kills Mitch. It is revealed in Issue 5 that Chris found Sonichu abandoned in a cardboard box and raised the Hedgehog Pokémon to be the creature who he was now.

It's been revealed that Chris is the avatar of the Chaos Pickle of Patience.

*Christian Chandler is based on [[Liquid Chris]]. The knife he carries is based on [[Sonichu Special 4]].

===Argentum===

The end result of Metal Asperchu's experiments, it is the Asperchu clone that has its fourth directive unlocked. It has the ability to warp spacetime and seems to be capable of feeding off the pain of others.

*Argentum's design is a mixture of the Pokémon [[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]] and Sonic the Hedgehog character [[Wikipedia:Silver the Hedgehog|Silver the Hedgehog]], but may have been inspired by [[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls|Mewchu]]. His name is Latin for "silver".

===Other characters===
;Heaven Fatterton

Lisa's accomplice and a fat ginger. She pretends to be Lisa during Asperchu's date so that she can steal the Asperchu medallion while Lisa films the date for blackmail. When her wig falls of, Asperchu is to dense to realize she's a phony and instead thinks there's two Lisas when the real Lisa shows up. Heaven has a thinner, bustier sister named Hortense who was killed by [[Bob Chandler]] for getting close to Chris-Chan.

;[[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Chu]]

Sonichu's cousin. He's a [[Homos|gay]] hairstylist, and his catch-phrase is "Razzle-dazzle". When problems arose during Metal Asperchu's attack, Sonichu called in Mitch to watch over Jivin and his dad, who were attacked by the robot. He ended up giving Jivin a new hairdo. Later he helps reform Asperchu clone Noir Chu by having him volunteer at an Albville soup hotel. In issue 3, it is implied that Ian raped Mitch when he was a Sonee. He also has two fathers. In Issue 4, he agrees to join Sonichu on his quest to find his real father. When he attempts to rescue Sonichu from Bionic's clutches, his legs are crushed by the Yellow Devil, pinned to a wall crucifix-style, then shot through the chest before the real Chris can save him.

Mitch also appears as Sonichu's guide through the wonderful world of [[Chris and copyright|copyright infringement]] in ''[[Asperchu#Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]]''.

*Mitch Chu is based on [[Mitch Sonichu]], Chris's take on Asperchu's "EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER" in [[Sonichu 10]]. He was made into a gay stylist as a logical conclusion to said makeover.

;Simonchu

Although [[Simonchu]] stars in his own comic series, he appears in Asperchu as the bisexual lover of Wild Sonichu. Metal Asperchu attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion. He is rendered grief-stricken when Metal Asperchu killed Wild, allowing him to be taken advantage of by Rosechu. In Issue 4, Simonchu agrees to join Sonichu in trying to find his real father.

;Dixie Chu

The girl of Asperchu's dreams. Dixie has been dating Jonas Chu and is disgusted by Asperchu, but that fact hasn't kept Asperchu from pursuing her. Asperchu has dedicated his life to obtaining "Dix" as his sweetheart. She recently returned to testify against Asperchu in his trial

* Dixie Chu is based off a number of Chris's [[gal-pals]], but is probably more centered on [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Kacey]].

;Jonas Chu

Asperchu's rival for the heart of Dixie Chu. Asperchu first met Jonas Chu at the Brass Dragon, where, in preparation for the Guitar Hero championship, they competed for the right to be Dixie Chu's boyfriend. Jonas beat Asperchu, but only by "cheating" by playing on Hard mode, which Asperchu had not yet mastered. Jonas was then kidnapped so that Dino Dash could replace him in the tournament and abduct Dixie.

He escaped over a week later by chewing through his handcuffs. Jonas followed Max and Jivin to Sinestro's castle, where he was reunited with his love.

* May have been based off the events from [[CWC More Than A Feeling]] of the [[Liquid Saga]]. His waistcoast and name derive from the [[Wikipedia:Jonas brothers|Jonas brothers]].

;Denubius King

His only appearance is in the Jivin sub-episode. He is a [[niggo|black]] kingpin in pimp attire and carries a pimp cane with an afro on it, called the "Staff of Suffrage". He kidnaps Jivin's father and tries to steal the Pickles family farm to get his hands on the Chaos Pickle they're guarding, but is foiled by Jivin.

;Bullet-Time Montgomery.

First appeared in the Jivin Sub-Episode. He works for Denubius King and is a crack-shot with a revolver. Denubius orders him to kill Jivin, but Jivin knocks him out with "Deus ex BLACKina". He later reappears as a juror at Asperchu's trial.

;[[Rosechu]]
Sonichu's sweetheart. She is seen comforting Simonchu at the funeral for Wild, Punchy and Angelica. Jivin is shown to have sexual fantasies of her. After the funeral, she tells Simonchu that she [[pickle|can satisfy his needs]], which pisses off Magi-Chan. Rosechu later confronts Simonchu and seduces him. It's later revealed that Rosechu cheats on Sonichu all the time; she's also banged Punchy, Naitsirhc, and even Dino Dash. She is later used as a gamble chip to win back Sonichu, but it proves ineffective.

*Rosechu's transgenderism parodies the constant call-out to Chris concerning Rosechu's gender, especially after events in the [[Mailbag]].

;Whispy Sonichu

Punchy's [[slow-in-the-mind]] cousin. Appears at the Chaotic Combo's funeral, barely affected by his cousin's death. Despite being Oriental, Whispy speaks Spanish.

;Larry D. Waltz

Larry D. Waltz is the dean of Normandale Community College. He supplies Sinestro with [[niggos|an African-American]] in exchange for a mysterious disc. When the disk is later stolen by WesLi Chu, he appoints Lisa to get it back. He nearly gets his head taken off by one of Asperchu's Asper-Ha-Me-Has.
*Larry is based on [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has a resemblance to [[Jimmy Hill]].

;Sitting Chu

Sitting Chu is the head of ALBville's only Soup Hotel. He welcomes those who need refuge with open arms, but he isn't beyond kicking people out, as he did with Asperchu.
*Sitting Chu is based off of the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]].

;Jimarcus Chu

A friend of Mitch Chu's. He was a veteran of the Jamaican war, and currently works at the Albville Soup hotel (they only need one) to help CWCville refugees. He's accepting of Noir Chu and helps him adjust, though he, too, is not thrilled by Asperchu's self-centeredness.
*Jimarcus Chu is loosely based on [[Inos]] and his physical appearance is based off of [http://www.grandtheftwiki.com/Little_Jacob Little Jacob]. His name is derived from [[Wikipedia:Jamaica|Jamaica]] and [[Wikipedia:Marcus Garvey|Marcus Garvey]].

;[[Doctor Robotnik]]

It seems that the once-feared nemesis of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] has fallen on hard times, now working as a cashier at a [[McDonald's]]. He promptly kicks Asperchu out of the restaurant when he attempts to ''seriously'' pay for a $31 meal with food stamps worth $10. He is then killed by Metal Asperchu for his crimes against Bionic.

;Megan and Ivy

Two of the younger Ian's [[gal-pals]]. When the younger Ian defeats his future self in pathetic combat, he attempts to have [[hanky panky]] only to be tazed by Megan.

* Megan and Ivy are based off of [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Ivy]].

;Principal Blaziken
The overly homosexual principal of Ian's high school. His actions lead Ian to call for help and is killed by Bionic, only for Ian to mistake Asperchu to be the hero.
* Principal Blaziken is based off [[Sonichu 10]]'s Marvey Blaziken and is reminiscent of the principal from Chris's elementary school.

;[[Sammy]]
A hat-wearing, bespectacled individual resembling Chris. Rambles in [[Cwc-isms|odd phrases]]. Metal Asperchu obliterates him and everything around him after getting the fifth Chaos Pickle. He later returns, alive and well, as a cushion for Asperchu's fall.
*While he is obviously modeled after [[Sammy]] from ''Sonichu'' (who was in turn a ripoff of [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]), he's also taken on some traits from ''Homestar Runner'' character Homsar, who wore a yellow bowler hat and spouted "word salads" and non-sequiturs (which turned out to simply be his native language), such as "All aboard the Gravy Train!"

;Bubastis Chu
Asperchu clone number 18. Originally just another extra for Sinestro's Forte Grosse, Bubastis Chu rose in popularity when she featured in Isabel Monday's [[Capering Berries]] in a spinoff comic. All of her comics are jokes based on the comic/film ''Watchmen'', and she generally annoys her two fathers Sinestro and Larry. Bubastis Chu and Cthulhu Chu are later released by Metal Asperchu in the Asperchu comics.

;[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]]
Has a brief cameo appearance during Ian's daydreams. According to her Asperpedia article, Ian, believing himself to be Chris, thought Crystal Weston Chandler was his sister. And being the massive [[Chris and ego|narcissist]] that he is, believed that his ideal partner was [[incest|his closest genetic match]]. Failing to seduce his faux-sister, he instead named his dream daughter after her. Believing Asperia was really Crystal, Ian became jealous of Asperchu. Like Asperia, she wears a [[Pedofork|thong]].
*Crystal is obviously based on his imaginary daughter, but in a humorous twist, looks like Chris's comic drawing of his sister. Thus, the circle of incest is complete.

;Mayorshack Tito
The new democratically-elected mayor of [[CWCville]] after the dethronement of Ian Brandon Anderson. Tito has been tremendously successful in restoring the city to its former glory, bringing life back to the desolate wasteland. Asperchu, for some reason, thinks he's [[niggo|black]].
*Mayorshack Tito is based on the troll [[Surfshack Tito]], who gets his name from Tito Makani Jr. of ''[[Wikipedia:Rocket Power|Rocket Power]]''. Mayorshack Tito's appearance is also based on Tito Makani Jr.

;Noir Chu and Aspercream
[[File:Noir.jpg|thumb|Noir is fed up with this shit.]]
Noir Chu was Sinestro's newest attempt to clone Asperchu by adding a black man named DeShaunn into the mix. However, DeShaunn's girlfriend jumped into the mixture with him and was turned into the rabbit Aspercream. Noir Chu would confront Asperchu and, confused by his memories, would be lead to the Albville Soup Hotel, where he would find his calling there. After being banished by Sinestro for losing Noir Chu, Aspercream ran off to Albville where she was reunited with Noir. When Sonichu ran off to find Ian, Noir Chu takes Asperchu to find and stop them, with Aspercream pleading not to get hurt, SOMEHOW knowing that it was Asperchu who got Magi-Chan killed. Both Noir Chu and Aspercream are wounded in Metal Asperchu's rampage, but survive.
* Noir Chu is based on [[Blake]]. Aspercream resembles [[Wikipedia:Cream the Rabbit|Cream the Rabbit]].

;Princess [[Julie]]

One of the members of the [[Molvanîa]]n Royal Family. She and the others have strong ties with the Rebels of CWCVille.

* Princess Julie is based off of the infamous troll of the same name. Her design, however, is based off of [[Wikipedia: Bobby Hill|Bobby Hill]] of ''King of the Hill''.

;[[Crackder]]

One of Ian's attempts at making sentient war machines. However, it is slow-in-the-mind, rambles off random-access humor and is against war. Asperchu hates him because he's a slow-in-the-mind.

*Crackder is based off of the Decepticon Chris created of the same name.

;[[Yawning Squirtle]]

We don't know how the hell he got off the [[Moon]], but he's off of it and still smoking it up. It was revealed that he was Mayorshack Tito's opponent in the CWCville elections, and currently works as an attorney. His hated rival is Lewis Croagunk, who opposed him in Asperchu's trial.

;[[Mimms]] and Lucas

Two patrons of the Brass Dragon. Mimms sports a wicked green 'fro.

*Both Mimms and Lucas are based off of the CWC informants who frequented the GAMe PLACe. Lucas's design resembles that of [[Wikipedia:Lucas (Mother)|the character of the same name from the ''Mother'' series]].

;[[Rocky]]

A mysterious squirrel with green antenna. He calls Asperchu "dum-dum" and tries to steer him in the opposite direction to make him blameless. In actuality, Rocky is MIPS 09, attempting to steer Asperchu into fulfilling the Anchuent Prophecy.
*While Rocky's design and speech resembles that of [[Wikipedia:Rocky the Flying Squirrel|Rocky the Flying Squirrel]] of the ''Rocky and Bullwinkle'' cartoons and [[Wikipedia:The Great Gazoo|The Great Gazoo]] of ''The Flintstones'', the creature is also a parody of [[Rocky Shoemaker]], Chris's pastoral counselor (although the real Rocky is not as indulgent as the ''Asperchu'' Rocky).

;[[Jimmy Hill]]

Ruler of Molvanîa and Princess Julie's father. Enjoys playing Pokémon trading-card games. When he finds out of Julie's capture, he opts to move out to save her.

*Jimmy Hill resembles the old man used in the earlier Chris trolling schemes, but his mannerisms match more of Hank Hill of ''King of the Hill''.

;Lewis Croagunk

The prosecutor for Asperchu's trial. It is revealed that he is old rivals with Yawning Squirtle and he seems to be a very competent lawyer. Oddly, for a Croagunk, he has a human's head.

*Lewis Croagunk may be a parody of Chris's various court-based characters from ''Sonichu 10''.
*[[Wikipedia:Croagunk|Croagunk]] are a variety of [[Pokémon]].

;Prison inmates

A gathering of the biggest, baddest villains and other faces from various TV shows, including Skullmaster of ''Mighty Max'', Krang from the 1980s ''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'' cartoons, Tohru, Finn, and Ratso from ''Jackie Chan Adventures'', and an assortment of Pokémon (most notably a rapist Poliwrath).

;Warden Clawdorf

Warden of the prison Asperchu is locked up in. He's a real [[niggos|black]] [[duck|dick]].

*[[Clawdorf]] is [[Darkbind Sonichu]]'s archnemesis in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] who appears only in a silhouette, which inadvertently resembles a penis with arms. ''Asperchu'' Clawdorf parodies this.

;Gumby

One of children's lovable creations was an inmate in the jail after accidentally killing a child inside a book. He had converted to Christianity and attempted to do so with Asperchu, but only got him to create his own Bible with him as the Son of God. He is wiped from existence after Asperchu leaves him inside his book.
*[[Wikipedia:Gumby|Gumby]] was a [[REAL Protest against the FAKE|C-L-A-Y]] character created by Art Clokey.
;Asperchoso

Asperchu's avatar in his "Second Greatest Story Ever Told". The paragon of manliness and a Son of God, he prevents others from getting girlfriends by blowing their kneecaps out.

*Asperchoso's name is derived from the Rabbichosos from [[Vivian Gee]]'s "[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]" story. His actions are similar to Chris's in [[Sonichu Special 4]], when he blows Liquid Chris's kneecaps off.

;Poliwrath

A hardened criminal who tried to [[rape|make Asperchu his bitch]] upon his arrival. However, after Asperchu and Gumby escaped into Asperchu's book, he quickly became a convert to Asperchu's "religion".
*[[Wikipedia:Poliwrath|Poliwrath]] are a variety of [[Pokémon]].

===4-Cent_Garbage Center residents===

;[[Naitsirhc]]

Naitsirhc has a brief cameo in the 4-Cent_Garbage Center that Argentum recreates. He is seen alongside [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. He attempts to get Sonichu to calm down, but ends up getting his neck snapped by the hedgehog.

*Unbelievably, Naitsirhc in Asperchu looks ''[[Homos|even gayer]]'', as he sports earrings and crotchless chaps.

;[[Mary Lee Walsh]]

Another one of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. When Sonichu tears apart the building, she and Count Graduon go and unleash Joshua Martinez.

*Mary's design in Asperchu borrows largely from ''[[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VIII|Final Fantasy VIII]]'' villain Ultimecia.

;[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
Owner of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. His appearance is identical to that in Sonichu. When he confronts ''Sonichu'', he is killed in the same manner Rosechu attacked him.

;[[Clyde Cash]]
Clyde makes a very brief cameo in Ian's dream in Issue 4, where he's demonstrating his dominance over said troll. It is likely this scene was inspired by [[:Image:325504_-_Chris-chan_clyde_cash.jpg|this piece of fanart.]] According to Asperpedia's article on Clyde, he, [[Brian Bash]] and Dino Dash were all part of an elite government task force at one point in the past. Clyde Cash makes another appearance, this time in the 4-Cent Garbage tower. When Plautistic captures Sonichu, Clyde and Jack go to finish Sonichu. Clyde is shown wearing Spider-Man's pants and boots and is able to shoot webbing from his hands.

*Clyde's design is based off of the picture Chris found of Clyde (actually a photo of Joe Hotti). His having Spider-Man powers is based off of [[No More Jokes|the set of videos trying to troll Clyde]].

;[[Jack Thaddeus]]
Seen in the 4-Cent Garbage Tower alongside Clyde Cash. His appearance is similar to that in Sonichu. He uses the Goblin Glider and Pumpkin Bombs of [[Wikipedia:Norman Osborn|the Green Goblin]].

;[[Count Graduon]]
One of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent Garbage Tower. His appearance resembles a [[duck|penis]]. When Sonichu tears apart the building, he and Mary Lee Walsh free Joshua Martinez. When the creature is destroyed, Joshua tosses him aside.

;Chief Boyd
One of the heads of the COProtectors. Is brutally murdered by Sonichu.
*Based on the [[Jerkhief]] from ''Sonichu''; "COProtectors" is an inversion of "[[jerkop]]".

;[[Bagget]]
Head of security at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. A no-nonsense type of guy, Bagget tries to get Asperchu to reveal where Sonichu is before the hedgehog confronts the two of them. Sadly, Bagget falls to Sonichu.

;[[Wall of Originals|Plautistic]]
A mysterious creature held by those within the 4-Cent Garbage Building bonded with Joshua Martinez When Sonichu goes on a rampage, Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon release it. The creature resembles the mythical creature Hydra. Its leaves can be smoked as a type of [[Tobacky|drug]].

;[[Joshua Martinez]]
A Mexican who was once bonded with Plautistic. In the heat of battle, Sonichu tears him from Plautistic, then tears his head off.

;[[Wes-Li Sonichu|Wesli Chu]]
A hedgehog working within the 4-Cent Garbage Building. ACTUALLY knows magic, including his own Anchuent power, Wes-Li-Ha-Me-Ha. He's such a manly man, he can even make full-on [[Megagi|bull dykes]] crave his [[duck]]. After escaping the destruction of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, the MIPS made him give a data CD to Metal Asperchu. Shortly after, his memory was wiped. It has been revealed that he holds the Chaos Pickle of Chastity.

;[[Giovanni]]
The feared leader of [[Team Rocket]] and gym leader of Viridian City has another job: manager at Wendy's. He was seen in 1999, firing Ian Brandon Anderson after he fell asleep on the job, then promised that he'd never work in the city again. Years later, he takes up residence at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. When his son is killed by Sonichu's hand, he confronts Sonichu, using a small army of Pokémon to stop him. Sonichu uses said Pokémon to kill Giovanni, mostly by impaling him with them.

;[[CADD Chef]]

Killed in the destruction of 4-cent.

;[[Michael Snyder]]
A Jewish magician working for the MIPS. He also runs [[The GAMe PLACe|The Brass Dragon]] and is frustrated by Sonichu's attempts to trade a rare Black Lotus card with a ''Pokémon Ruby'' cartridge. He was responsible for helping Jack and Clyde escape.

;MIPS

Self-aware supercomputers that help run 4-Cent. Michael Snyder reports directly to them and contacts them by pickle-phone. He asks them to help evacuate the building, but they claim they're using up all their resources to [[100 2178|control the realtors]]. They are capable of meeting anywhere, including in space. They are keenly interested in fulfilling the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].
*MIPS are a personification of Chris's paranoid belief in a [[100 2178|conspiracy by the Greene County school board]] to keep his family in Ruckersville so he can stay in his "autistic shell". MIPS is speculated to stand for "[[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Men In Pickle Suits]]".

;[[ScotPalazzo]]

Killed in the destruction of 4cent.

;[[Megagi]] Chu
A purple lesbian skunk who broke Sonichu's heart in the past and has orgies with Saramah Chu, Jiggliami and even Wes-Li. Is killed with Saramah Chu's torn off arms, taunting him to then end.

;[[Sarah Hammer|Saramah Chu]]
A yellow Rosechu who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. Her arms are ripped off, the trauma killing her. However, after the destruction of Metal Asperchu, her Chaos Pickle, Temperance, returned to her and revived and restored her.

;[[Jiggliami]]
A pink Jigglypuff humanoid who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. She is killed when Sonichu punches through her head.

===Chaos Pickles===

The Chaos Pickles are seven magical items of great power. According to Chris, the pickles are within seven special people and, should they be removed, they enable its user to be revived and restored once they are freed again.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Image
!Color
! Trait
! Location
!Avatar
|-
|[[File:Pickle-violet.jpg|50px]]
|Purple
|Kindness
|Owned by the Pickles family; stolen by Metal Asperchu
|Lovely Weather
|-
|[[File:Pickle-blue.jpg|50px]]
|Blue
|Temperance
|Owned by Bionic; given to Metal Asperchu
|Saramah Chu
|-
|[[File:Pickle-green.jpg|50px]]
|Green
|Patience
|Owned by Flame the Sunbird; stolen by Metal Asperchu
|Christian Weston Chandler
|-
|[[File:Pickle-pink.jpg|50px]]
|Pink
|Charity
|Owned by Bionic; given to Metal Asperchu in return for murdering Robotnik
|Megan
|-
|[[File:Pickle-orange.jpg|50px]]
|Orange
|Chastity
|Owned by Sammy; stolen by Metal Asperchu
|Wesli Chu
|-
| –
|Yellow
|Diligence
|Inside Asperchu
|Asperchu
|-
| –
|Red
|Humility
| -
|Ian Brandon Anderson
|}

*The Chaos Pickles parody the [[Sonichu Balls]]. They are each named for one of the [[Wikipedia:Seven virtues#Seven heavenly virtues|seven heavenly virtues]].

==Locations==

===Alzheichu's Home===
This is where Asperchu lives. A junky, decrepit home, Alzheichu makes Asperchu do menial, back-breaking chores. Asperchu's room is a particular mess, covered with various toys and anime posters. It also has an [[Hex Bawx|XBox 360]], which Asperchu constantly plays, especially after his encounter with Dixie Chu. The house's frame is under constant [[stress]], since Grandma Snorlax is always up against it.
* A parody of [[Tour of Chris's house|Chris's house]].

===The Brass Dragon===
A gaming store which Asperchu frequents. This is where Asperchu encounters Dixie Chu and Jonas Chu and attempts to win Dixie's heart. Michael Snyder runs the shop. Asperchu is now officially banned from the store for trying to steal a rare card.
* This is a parody of [[The GAMe PLACe]].

===Pickles Ranch===
Home of Jivin and Dick Pickles, who owned a Chaos Pickle before Metal Asperchu broke in and stole it. Oddly, it has a collection of skeletons.
*Resembles the Skywalker farm from [[Wikipedia:Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope|''Star Wars'']].

===[[CWCville]]===
Before and after Ian Brandon Anderson's reign as mayor, CWCville was a peaceful, beautiful city with flowering fields and a happy populace. Under Ian, however, it turned into a dictatorship that wiped out 70% of the population, all of whom were found distasteful by the mayor. Women are forced into [[dating education|brothels]] as early as Junior High School, and all remaining occupations are in the mayor's mall. The environment was destroyed by his dark energy and the pollution of state Orange Soda factories. An army of Sonichu Nazis carry out the mayor's will and are as intolerant and depraved as he is. Fortunately, thanks to the reconstruction effort, most of the damage has been reversed. Democracy has also been returned thanks to [[Liquid|Chris's]] efforts, and [[Surfshack Tito|Mayorshack Tito]] won the first CWCville election in years.

===Albville===
Neighboring town to CWCville and Asperchu's hometown. Unlike CWCville, it is under a democratic system and accepts people of all races, orientations and creeds. In fact, they receive many CWCville refugees, who are well taken care of in the Albville soup hotel (they only need one). It allied with [[Evan|ECGville]] during a brief war with old [[CWCville|RFCville]] and has since maintained good relations with the town. Founded by Alec Benson Leary, who has since disappeared in [[Sonichu 10|mysterious circumstances]].

===Bionic's fortress===
[[Bionic]]'s base of operations, which was abandoned when [[Liquid|Chris]] came to Sonichu's rescue.
*Based on [[Wikipedia:Dr. Wily|Dr. Wily's]] fortress, as well as Chris's dream of a [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason|SKULL-SHAPED factory]] where [[Tobacky|smokers]] were murdered.

===[[4-cent_garbage.com|4-Cent_Garbage Center]]===
The remnants of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, which was destroyed by Ian, are still being cleaned up by CWCville's citizens. Originally the economic center of the city, it also contained many of Ian's [[trolls|"Undesirables"]] and he [[Twin Falling Towers|flew his mouse-pointer plane into the building]] to destroy it. Many lives were lost, and to this day is considered "Ian's most terrible legacy". Argentum brings Sonichu and Asperchu to the restored Center, where Sonichu climbs the building to confront his father. It is revealed that Ian's airplane did jack shit and it was Sonichu's Roaring Rampage of Revenge that caused the destruction in the first place. Ian was probably blamed for it because he was the only one still alive to take the blame. It is also revealed that it was destroyed during the Chaotic Funeral.
*The 4-Cent_Garbage Center is a combination of [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu_10#Rage_Against_the_Garbage_2:_Electric_Boogaloo|Rage Against the Garbage 2]] and an infamous Chris video mocking [[Clyde]] by comparing him to [[Twin Falling Towers|the destruction of the World Trade Center]].

===Molvanîa===

An oddball East European country. Home of the MIPS and the survivors of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center survivors.
*[[Molvanîa]] was the home of [[Julie]] and [[Max]], named after a fictional East European country created by Tom Gleisner, Santo Cilauro and Rob Sitch.

==Issues==
Thus far, sixteen issues (and one Sub-Episode) of ''Asperchu'' have been released. The confusing issue numbering (0–0A–0B–C–1–2–3–3D–4–5–5E–6–7–8–F–Ten) is a [[parody]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', which began its issue numbering with [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] and then complicated the matter with numbered "Episodes" and "Sub-Episodes" (so [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]] is the fourth issue, and contains Episodes 10 and 11 and Sub-Episode 4).
===List of issues===

{|class="wikitable"
! style="background:silver;" | Cover
! style="background:silver;" colspan="2" | Issue
! style="background:silver;" | Title
! style="background:silver;" | Plot summary
|-
| [[File:a0.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #0
|''ASPERCHU'S First Date... and his first villain!''
| Asperchu goes on a date with Lisa, and is tricked into having his medallion stolen.<br>''First appearance of Asperchu, Max, Jivin Pickles, Lisa, Heaven.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 0A Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Issue 0A
| ''The challenge of TRUE Piety''
| Asperchu makes a video attacking the trolls, provoking the ire of Christian couple Kendra and John. Grandpa Alzheichu refuses to let Jivin enter his house. John confronts Asperchu over his unChristian attitudes; Asperchu retaliates by forging a new medallion. Lisa tells John that she stole the original medallion.<br> ''First appearance of Grandpa Alzheichu, Sitting Chu, Jormungand.''<br>''Only appearance of Calvin, Kendra, John, Micah, Benny Chu, W.E.B. Dubois, various Normandale students.''
|-
| [[File:JIVIN_Issue_0_Page_1.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="black" height="10px"|
| Jivin Sub-Episode
| ''Jivin's first solo adventure!''
| Jivin's father is captured by Denubius King, but Jivin rescues him. It turns out that the Pickles family owns one of the fabled Chaos Pickles.<br>''First appearance of Dick Pickles, Bullet-Time Montgomery.''<br>''Only appearance of Denubius King.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 0B Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue 0B
| ''Swords and Axes... the Duel of Ages!''
| Jonas Chu defeats Asperchu in a ''Guitar Hero'' tournament, then is kidnapped by Dino Dash. Jivin fails to seduce Dixie. Asperchu makes a weak attempt at impersonating Jonas on YouTube, then fails to prevent Dixie's abduction.<br>''First appearance of Grandma Snorlax, Sonichu, Dixie Chu, Dino Dash, Sinestro, Jonas Chu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue C Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue C
| ''Things are coming to a head!''
| Asperchu is kidnapped by Sinestro, who has created many Asperchu clones. <br>''First appearance of Christian Weston Chandler, Ian Brandon Anderson, Metal Asperchu.''<br>''Only appearance of Autischu, Down Chu, XXY Chu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 1 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Issue #1
| ''The big leagues.''
| Metal seizes Simonchu's drill medallion. Sonichu introduces Asperchu to the Chaotic Combo, and Magi-Chan enters a trance in order to track down Metal - but Asperchu makes him find Dixie instead. Wild tells of the oppression wreaked by Mayor Anderson. Metal takes the first Chaos Pickle from the Pickles family. Sinestro creates Noir Chu and (accidentally) Aspercream. The Combo fight Metal Asperchu, who kills three of them and then finds the second Pickle in a mysterious skull-shaped factory.<br>''First appearance of Simonchu, Bubbles, Larry D. Waltz, Magi-Chan, Noir Chu, Aspercream, Mitch Chu.''<br>''Only appearance and death of Punchy, Angelica, and Wild.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 2 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #2
| ''The quest for the Chaos Pickles continues.''
| The funeral of Punchy, Angelica and Wild takes place. Metal Asperchu forces the second Chaos Pickle from Bionic, who tells him the owner of the third Pickle: Flame the Sunbird. Rosechu and Simonchu hook up at the funeral (despite Magi-Chan's love for Simonchu), while a confused Noir Chu confronts his clone-brother Asperchu. Mitch Chu brings Noir and Asperchu to Sitting Chu's Soup Hotel in ALBville, where Noir gives up his gun and they meet the Basement Rosechus. Asperchu is kicked out for eating the homeless's food, and attempts to buy a McDonald's meal with food stamps. Metal kills Robotnik in return for Bionic giving him the fourth Chaos Pickle. Silvana murders Bubbles and hacks into Magi-Chan's computer. Bionic then asks that Metal Asperchu bring him Christian Weston Chandler - alive.<br>''First appearance of Rosechu, Bionic, Silvana.''<br>''Only appearance of Whispy, Thomas Jefferson, Flame the Sunbird, Jimarcus Chu, Officer Louis Perez, Moe Chu, Brit-Tay Rosechu, Mary Rosechu, Rosee.''<br>''Only appearance and death of Ivo Robotnik.''<br>''Death of Bubbles.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 3 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #3
|'' Taking the battle to the enemy.''
| Sinestro and Waltz unsuccessfully interrogate Aspercream to find out Noir Chu's location. Sonichu 'n' pals try to liberate CWCville. Magi-Chan is murdered by Silvana, who brings Asperchu to Ian Brandon Anderson. Sonichu, Mitch and Simonchu confront IBA, but then Metal breaks in and cuts off Sonichu's hand. Ian enters his Son-Chu suit and fights back. He cripples Metal Asperchu, but is then is set on fire by Metal and thrown from his tower. Metal then activates his four Chaos Pickles and takes on a new form.<br>''Only appearance of IBA's legion of Sonichus.''<br>''Last appearance of Silvana.''<br>''Death of Magi-Chan.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 3D Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #3D
| ''Travel through the third dimension... Time!''
| Asperchu, Max and Jivin have been sent back to 1999. 1999-Ian takes them to Manchester High School, and beats up the modern IBA. Bionic then appears and talks to the trio. 1999-Ian molests Ivy, is tasered by Megan and then meets Blaziken, who tries to molest him. Bionic kills Blaziken, but Asperchu claims credit. A distraught Bionic attempts suicide, but Jivin saves him. 1999-Ian mixes Asperchu's comeuppance with his own to create Sonichu. The two Ians then fight, their Curse-ye-ha-me-has crossing to knock our heroes back to their own time. In 2000, Ian gives birth to Sonichu, while in the modern day, Metal Asperchu confronts Asperchu and Ian.<br>''First appearance of Bill the Scientist, Megan.''<br>''Only appearance of Ian's boss, Ivy, Satan.''<br>''Only appearance and death of Principal Blaziken.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 4 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Issue #4
| ''Metal and glass...''
| Asperchu reveals to Sonichu than Ian is his true father. Metal Asperchu takes the fifth Chaos Pickle from Sammy. Asperchu craps out Asperia. Metal demands that Sinestro tell him what the "fourth directive" is. Sonichu, Simonchu and Mitch break into Ian's cell in order to find Sonichu's true origin. Simonchu is captured by Bionic. Asperia eats Grandma Snorlax's foot. Max defeats the Yellow Devil, then Christian Weston Chandler arrives. Bionic shoots Mitch and flees.<br>''First appearance of Yellow Devil, Cthulhu Chu, Sammy.''<br>''Only appearance of Bubastis Chu.''<br>''Death of Mitch Chu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 5 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #5
| ''The end of one, beginning of another.''
| Ian Brandon Anderson realizes that Asperchu was the part-creator of Sonichu. Mayorshack Tito is the new Mayor of CWCville - CWC shows Asperchu the ruins of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, and tells Sonichu that Ian is his real father. In a rage, Sonichu hunts down his father, shooting Ian in both knees. The Yellow Devil captures Sonichu, Noir Chu and Asperchu, and brings them to Bionic. Metal Asperchu realizes that the "fourth directive" will work on an immature Asperchu clone. Bionic goads Sonichu into killing IBA, and he accidentally shoots Asperia. Metal creates Argentum, who rebuilds the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Sonichu climbs the 4-Cent_Garbage Center in order to gain revenge on his father.<br>''First appearance of Argentum, Slaweel the Witch, Naitsirhc, Jack Thaddeus, Mayorshack Tito, Jason Kendrick Howell.''<br>''Death of Cthulhu Chu, Ian Brandon Anderson, Asperia.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 5E Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #5E
| ''A bloody fight.''
| Sonichu fights his way up the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, killing Naitsirhc, Jerkops, Jason Kendrick Howell and Bagget, before being attacked by Plautistic, Jack Thaddeus, Clyde Cash and Joshua Martinez. Sonichu then aims to kill Asperchu, only to be interrupted by Wes-Li Chu, who shows him some "magic". Giovanni then battles Sonichu with his elite Pokémon, who Sonichu defeats. He then reaches "WesLi Chu's Luv Shack", where Megagi Chu, Saramah and Jiggliami mock him and are murdered by him. Sonichu fights Wes-Li again, but is teleported to the top of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, where he fights Slaweel, who transforms into an Ultimecia-style dragon. Asperchu accidentally kills her by throwing his Xbox Portable into her mouth. The 4-Cent_Garbage Center is destroyed, and Sonichu realizes that Asperchu is also his father.<br>''First appearance of Michael Snyder, MIPS, Saramah Chu, Wesli Chu, Blazebob Sonichu.''<br>''Only appearance of Giovanni, Plautistic, Count Graduon, CADD Chef, Shuckle, Metapod, Castform, Delibird.''<br>''Only appearance and death of Jerkops, Bagget, Joshua Martinez, Megagi Chu, Jiggliami.''<br>''Death of Naitsirhc, Jason Kendrick Howell, Slaweel the Witch.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 6 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #6
|''Darkness fears not the Heart.''
| Wesli Chu is imprisoned in Molvanîa by the MIPS. CWC sends Asperchu and Jivin to Molvanîa to find him. Yawning Squirtle is recovered from the wreckage of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Wesli steals a mysterious disk from the Dean and gives it to Metal Asperchu, who tells him to kill Argentum. Asperchu 'n' pals go to the Brass Dragon, owned by Michael Snyder. Metal Asperchu scans several people, and then fights our heroes at the ruins of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Grandpa Alzheichu dies in defeating Metal.<br>''First appearance of Princess Julie, Yawning Squirtle.''<br>''Only appearance of Crackder, Punislav Royal Guard, GameStop boss.''<br>''Death of Noir Chu, Grandpa Alzheichu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 7 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue 7
| ''Excuses, excuses, excuses...''
| The MIPS plan to set up Asperchu to fulfill the Prophecy. Asperchu meets Heaven in a bar, drinks a beer and decides to take a photograph of Snyder for his dartboard. He attempts vehicular homicide of Snyder, Perez and Grant, and is arrested for causing minor injuries to Michael Snyder. Meanwhile, Bionic tries to cure Sonichu of his possession by Ian, and they seek out Sinestro's help. A squirrel named Rocky tells him that nothing is his fault and that his Asperger's excuses everything. CWC bails him out, but Asperchu demands an apology for being left to wait THREE HOURS at the police station. Asperchu is thrown from their tower, landing on Sammy, and the liberators of CWCville go back to searching for survivors from the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. They recover Saramah Chu, who is somehow still alive. Christian Weston Chandler says that the seven Chaos Pickles are "artifacts of supreme power and energy", and that they have attached themselves to seven "avatars" in order to remain stable in this universe. It is revealed that Asperchu, CWC, Wesli Chu, Saramah Chu and Sonichu are five of the avatars, and two are unknown. Also, Rocky is revealed to the reader to be one of the MIPS. Chris decides to lead a unit to retrieve Sonichu's Pickle. Heaven and Lisa kidnap Asperchu and bring him to Dean Waltz in a bid to retrieve the information that Metal Asperchu gave to the MIPS. Sonichu feels ecstatic after his Pickle is activated. When Chris, Rosechu and Julie come to speak to him, he has them imprisoned; Sonichu seems to have become insane. Meanwhile, Asperchu attacks the Dean with his Asperhameha, and is arrested again. Max and Jivin visit him. Jimmy Hill, King of Molvanîa, is enraged by his daughter Julie's capture, and plans to rescue her.<br>''First appearance of "Rocky".''<br>''Only appearance of GAMe PLACe kids, Gerald Grant.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 8 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #8
|''Trial by fire!''
| Asperchu unwisely hires Yawning Squirtle to defend him. The jury consists of Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaaffy, DJ Jamsta, Lolisa Rosechu, Bullet-Time Montgomery, Blazebob Sonichu, Chloe Rosechu and the clerk from Issue 0, while Lewis Croagunk prosecutes. Squirtle makes the feeble counter-defense that Snyder was planning to break into Asperchu's house, pour Wite-Out on his playing cards and wipe his hard drive, but has nothing to back this allegation up with. Sonichu appears as witness, and says that Asperchu is innocent. "Rocky" convinces Asperchu to dismiss his lawyer and represent himself. Sonichu and Asperchu begin a pointless argument as to who is "true and honest", and Sonichu freaks out and flees the courtroom. Jimmy Hill breaks into the courtroom and retrieves his daughter Julie. Asperchu receives life imprisonment. Sonichu appears to have absorbed too much of Ian's personality, and is thrown from Fort Grosse by Argentum.<br>''Only appearance of Lewis Croagunk, Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaaffy, DJ Jamsta, Lolisa Rosechu, Chloe Rosechu.''<br>''Last appearance of Bullet-Time Montgomery, Blazebob Sonichu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue F Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #F
| '' Three guesses what the F stands for...''
| Argentum has sent Chris, Sonichu, Sinestro and Bionic to bizarre worlds.
*Chris sees a perfect Sonichu facing CWC-Botnik, whom he easily kills. Chris realizes that this is not the real Sonichu, as he has no idea who Benny Chu (from ''Asperchu'' #0A) was.
*A now-mobile Bionic finds himself the beloved son of a "Rollin' and Trollin'"-style Ian Brandon Anderson. Chris releases him from the fantasy world.
* Sinestro is met by Naitsirhc, who brings him to Slaweel. Sinestro realizes that all this is false. Mary offers him the sixth and seventh Chaos Pickle, but Sinestro realizes that it's an illusion. He punches a hole in reality and goes to meet CWC. The avatars of the final two Pickles emerge: Megan and Lovely Weather. Argentum goes to seek the other avatars.
*The diseased Sonichu struggles through a strange forest to confront the deceased Mitch Chu, who reminds Sonichu of all the evil he did in Ian's name. Sonichu becomes completed possessed by Ian's essence, becoming... Chris-Chan Sonichu.

Meanwhile, in the real world, Asperchu finds prison life difficult - he is attacked by a Skullmaster and almost raped by a Poliwrath, but saved by Gumby, who decides to protect him and teach him to be a Christian. Asperchu rewrites the Bible as ''Asperchoso''. Gumby then introduces Asperchu to Jesus Himself, but Asperchu isn't very interested. Asperchu and Gumby escape the other prisoners by jumping into ''Asperchoso''. Once there, Asperchoso shoots Gumby in the shins, and Asperchu escapes the book. Poliwrath becomes a devotee of Asperchoso, and Asperchu erases Gumby from the Book, killing him.

Chris and Julie arrive to break Asperchu out of prison, in order to protect him and his Chaos Pickle from Argentum.

Meanwhile, Bionic creates a holographic version of the Ian who loves him.
<br>''First appearance of Lovely Weather.''<br>''Only appearance of CWC-Botnik, Skullmaster, Krang, Blaziken, Poliwrath, Jesus, Asperchoso, various prisoners.''<br>''Only appearance and death of Gumby, Warden Clawdorf.''
|-
| [[File:A10.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue Ten
|''It's time.''
| Issue Ten has begun with Asperchu describing "LITTLE BIG AUTISM", in which he talks of [[Asperger's syndrome]] in ''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''. He awakes on Julie's airship and the coalition aims to defeat Argentum.
<br>''First appearance of Groovan.''
|}

== References ==
<references />
==External links==
*[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/ ''Asperchu'' site]
*[http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia](Site down)

[[Category:Fan]]
[[Category:Fan art]]

Talk:Asperchu/Background

2016-12-07T18:14:20Z

Sandubadear: /* Asperchu wiki */ new section

Could someone please update this?--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 01:34, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

All I could say is, Argentum is a reference to the plane of Mirrodin (formerly Argentum) in Magic: The Gathering
--[[User:Beanmachine91|Beanmachine91]] ([[User talk:Beanmachine91|talk]]) 05:08, 26 May 2015 (UTC)

I'll write some updates for characters and such in the next day or two, in between putting up new pages. But I don't want to fill it all up myself, having outsider perspective helps me create. [[User:ALBASPERCHU|ALBASPERCHU]] 11:17, 4 January 2010 (CST)

On second thought, my time is devoted to getting Asperpedia up at the moment. By which I mean Clyde is doing most of the work, but what fleshing out I do goes there first over here. so I might not update much here soon. [[User:ALBASPERCHU|ALBASPERCHU]] 21:12, 6 January 2010 (CST)

I think this can (mostly) be integrated into the Asperpedia and then we'll just provide a link to the asperpedia from here. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:45, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
*I think that there needs to be some sort of concise version of Asperpedia here, at least the basics of the Asperchu canon - who people are, how it relates to Chris, and maybe some drama involving Alec and Chris. People wanting more details about the world of Asperchu can go to Asperpedia then. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:29, 9 January 2010 (UTC)

==Move to main namespace==
Spaskid would have a shit fit if he saw this, but I'm considering moving this to the main namespace. I feel that Asperchu's presence of the CWCipedia in advertising, not to mention its significance to troll culture and especially Chris's comments on Asperchu warrant a reference in the main namespace mostly because it's starting to become that it's handy to know what Chris is talking about when he mentions Asperchu.

However, let's look at the pros and cons:<br>
'''Pros''': main name space meaning people can find it by default search. <br>
'''Con''': could set a bad precedent - pretty much as long as Chris mentions a fan work, that could make it go to the main namespace. In fact, technically the "Sonichu is Gay" comic and Asperchu could go into the main namespace by current notability guidelines. Spaskid particularly freaked out about being in the Fan namespace, believing it was some sort of insult, and I don't want to piss off other fan artists who think it's not fair Asperchu gets to be in the main namespace and theirs doesn't.

This is a rather big precedent so I'd like members of the CWCki community to weigh in on this. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:29, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*Move the article when Chris has a major rage about Aspechu. At that point the article will be more about Chris's reaction to Asperchu than Asperchu itself, so it will make sense to take it out of the Fan namespace. --[[User:Chugger|Chugger]] 11:01, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*The final judges of notoriety are you, cogs, and clyde, last time I checked. It looks like clyde's pretty enthusiastically behind Asperchu (he said it's the next big thing somewhere, don't ask me to find it). So if Spaskid (or any other 'fan artist') wants to spaz about being in main namespace vs fan namespace, tell them to f-off and make their own CWCki. When something is straddling the line between main and fan, it's your call which way to send it. As long as you guys are rational about it, the sane majority among us will go along with it. The buck has to stop somewhere! --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 17:47, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*keep it in fan until tomorrow (if my plan works.) [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:39, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Another plan of epic trolling? --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 19:51, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:*also, the audiobooks were always in the main namespace due to how early the article was made. it actually had nothing to do with trolling chris until fairly recently so... [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:40, 9 January 2010 (UTC)

::*Audiobooks was mostly kept on the main namespace mostly because 1) its significance to CWC trolling culture, 2) a definitive third party presentation of the comics that disseminates Chris's comics to the masses, etc.
:::To address Umad's comments, actually, it's up to all of us to determine notability. What is notable to me, Cogs, and Clyde might not be notable to everyone else and visa versa. Ultimately, part of having a wiki is to have discussions and debates such as these so we can achieve to some optimal result, such as what constitutes notability. I personally don't approve of some things that go on the CWCki but since the masses seem to do something that works, I let them and sometimes I'm proven wrong.
:::For instance, Chugger's proposal is something I didn't immediately think of and as you can tell, this is the route we're going - we'll keep this Fan article to discuss the fan specifics of Asperchu (characters, plots, etc.), whereas the Asperchu article in the namespace will document the drama (Asperchu saga, perhaps) between Chris and Asperchu. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:33, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

*Of course I can't really offer an impartial vote, but I'd be honored if this gets into the main space. Frankly, I'm rather confident the time for that will come, because I'm not going to stop doing the comic, and we know Chris isn't going to stop getting madder and madder about it. [[User:ALBASPERCHU|ALBASPERCHU]] 01:04, 11 January 2010 (CST)
**I wrote a tentative article about Alec Benson Leary and how chris was reacting to him in [[User:Beat/Sandbox|my sandbox]]. I figured it was a pretty good middle ground. An article that covered Chris's reactions to Asperchu, without really focusing on Asperchu as a fictional character.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:12, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
***yeah, just keep the fan page here, make a new main asperchu page for chris v asperchu also i'm sleepy [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:55, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

== Improvement ==

Yes, there's Asperpedia but seriously, we need a concise guide to Asperchu for those who don't feel like wading through the entire Apserpedia. We don't need, for instance, discussions on locales or stuff like that, just brief character descriptions, plot descriptions, Chris's commentary on the series, etc. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:00, 18 January 2010 (UTC)

*I'm currently working on adding stuff to the character sections, including references to the Asperchu characters' real-life counterparts. I won't change anything that's already there. --[[User:GodBear|GodBear]] 00:45, 21 January 2010 (CST)

== Larry D. Waltz ==

Is it me, or does Larry have a slight resemblence to [[Jimmy Hill]]. Would that be notable enough to mention? [[User:Double Nega|Double Nega]] 15:43, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

== I did some cleanup ==

More cleanup and wikification still neeeded. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 11:52, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

== About the Yellow Devil ==
Hey. I'm the guy who wrote most of the articles on Asperpedia. I just want to clarify that Yellow Devil isn't an Asperchu clone. I didn't know he was a Megaman reference and I fucked up there. Just saying. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:54, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

==Ian's Death==

I get how it mirrors Evan(obvious) and Sean(a bit more subtle), but I don't see how it copies the death of Mao.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:29, 14 April 2010 (UTC)
*It dosn't. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 18:57, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

== Two Clyde Cashes? ==
I've heard on both this page on on Asperpedia forums, people talking about the Bald Clyde Cash from Sonichu Special 1 in here. I've looked on Asperpedia and on Comicseries. I've found no traces of a bald Clyde Cash in Asperchu. Intrestingly though, I notice that the Issue 5 summary mentions there being two Clyde Cashes, but no mention of Jason Kendrick Howell. Where did this TwoClydes business come from? Did someone somehow mistake Jason for Clyde or am I missing something? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:20, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
* Yeah, that was my fault. I mistook Jason for Clyde there (used to him having the hood over his head 24/7). I'll fix it.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 02:40, 25 April 2010 (UTC)
* I see. For future reference: Without the hood, Jason looks like Big Boss. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 03:39, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

Is Dino Dash the same as Clyde, or are they two separate characters? [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 15:21, 18 August 2010 (PDT)

== Bios needs to be updated ==

In particular Sonichu's (Solid Sonichu now). --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 18:16, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

== Liquid needs a better pic ==

--[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 16:26, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

== Images ==

I was wondering if it was alright if I added pictures of the Asperchu crew? If no because of space, understood fully. I have, of course read the help section for image sizes, format, ect. I will not upload any until I am told I can. [[User:Demendred|Demendred]] 20:07, 29 June 2011 (PDT)

== Dead link ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page
** In [[Asperchu/Background]] on 2011-09-20 22:29:44, 404 Not Found
** In [[Asperchu/Background]] on 2011-09-28 07:53:27, 404 Not Found

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 00:56, 28 September 2011 (PDT)

== Asperchu wiki ==

Since there is not much info on Asperchu here, I created an [http://asperchu.wikia.com/wiki/Special:RecentChanges Asperchu Wiki] on Wikia. I'll be glad if more people want to help me in adding content there. [[User:Sandubadear|Sandubadear]] ([[User talk:Sandubadear|talk]]) 18:14, 7 December 2016 (UTC)