CWCki - User contributions [en]

List of things Chris has shoved up his ass

2015-03-03T05:01:57Z

Sanicbum:

{{Honest}}

{{quote|As for what turned me onto the idea was watching women doing it for themselves in some of the porn I watched. I tried it myself with just my fingers, and it felt alright to me, especially recently.|[[Jackie E-mails 6|Chris explaining the origins of his anal fixation]]}}

'''[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has shoved many things up his ass''' for [[Sex|sexual pleasure]] (and in [[Julie Reveals Herself|one instance]], because he was being "blackmailed"). Many adults, including ''straight'' ones, have done this, but in Chris's case it's particularly [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], seeing as how much of this ass-shoving occurred while he happened to be an insanely [[Homos|homophobic]] [[Virgin with Rage|virgin]]. For quite a long time Chris repeatedly denied ever committing such heinous, homoerotic acts, but eventually all it took was a few trusted [[Trolls|gal-pals]] for him to confidentially reveal the True and Honest graphic details of his anal experiences.

Even though he already has fecal incontinence, one can only imagine what wonders this does for his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].

This list only covers what Chris has admitted shoving up his ass. Given that he was hesitant to admit this much, out of fear that he will be misinterpreted as a [[homos|homosexual]] , we can only imagine [[Pickles|what items]] he has experimented with that he's too ashamed to confess.

==Things Chris has shoved up his ass==
*[[Dildo]] (with a condom on<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>, later [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|destroyed]] in an attempt to prove his straightness and his strength<ref>[[Mumble 7#15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength]]</ref>). He later told [[Catherine]], "Seriously, it did nothing for me."<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Strap-on details]]</ref>
*[[Anal beads]] (ended up "covered in poo" and thrown away because Chris didn't understand how they work).<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>
*[[Medallions#Mark_2|Sonichu Medallion]] (broken into pieces first, done under [[stress|duress]] because a [[Julie Reveals Herself|13 year-old told him to]]).
*[[Chris and Health#Hygiene|His fingers]] (unlike with the other things he shoved up there, Chris actually admitted that this "felt alright", and it appears to now be his preferred method of anal stimulation).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 6">[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>
*Jets of water from his shower head (told [[Vanessa]] that he used to put things up his butt but it became uncomfortable for him so now it's just "sometimes with a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose").<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref>
*Another dildo, this one non-vibrating, sometimes covered with a washcloth, at least four times. He found it painful and not enjoyable.<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Strap-on details]]</ref>
*His own [[duck|dick]].<ref>[[Colin Chat 2]]</ref>

==Things Chris is willing to shove up his ass for his true love==
*A fake dick ("I would take that in for her").<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 7]]</ref>
*Strap-on dildo. While he told [[Jackie]] it could NOT be dick-shaped because that would be gay,<ref name="Jackie E-mails 6"/> he made no such qualification when referring to Catherine.<ref>[[Colin Chat 1]]</ref>
* A real dick (if [[Ivy]] wanted him to).<ref>[[Homos]]</ref>

==Sources==
<references />

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]][[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

List of things Chris has shoved up his ass

2015-03-03T05:01:40Z

Sanicbum:

{{Honest}}

{{quote|As for what turned me onto the idea was watching women doing it for themselves in some of the porn I watched. I tried it myself with just my fingers, and it felt alright to me, especially recently.|[[Jackie E-mails 6|Chris explaining the origins of his anal fixation]]}}

'''[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has shoved many things up his ass''' for [[Sex|sexual pleasure]] (and in [[Julie Reveals Herself|one instance]], because he was being "blackmailed"). Many adults, including ''straight'' ones, have done this, but in Chris's case it's particularly [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], seeing as how much of this ass-shoving occurred while he happened to be an insanely [[Homos|homophobic]] [[Virgin with Rage|virgin]]. For quite a long time Chris repeatedly denied ever committing such heinous, homoerotic acts, but eventually all it took was a few trusted [[Trolls|gal-pals]] for him to confidentially reveal the True and Honest graphic details of his anal experiences.

Even though he already has fecal incontinence, one can only imagine what wonders this does for his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].

This list only covers what Chris has admitted shoving up his ass. Given that he was hesitant to admit this much, out of fear that he will be misinterpreted as a[[homos|homosexual]] , we can only imagine [[Pickles|what items]] he has experimented with that he's too ashamed to confess.

==Things Chris has shoved up his ass==
*[[Dildo]] (with a condom on<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>, later [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|destroyed]] in an attempt to prove his straightness and his strength<ref>[[Mumble 7#15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength]]</ref>). He later told [[Catherine]], "Seriously, it did nothing for me."<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Strap-on details]]</ref>
*[[Anal beads]] (ended up "covered in poo" and thrown away because Chris didn't understand how they work).<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>
*[[Medallions#Mark_2|Sonichu Medallion]] (broken into pieces first, done under [[stress|duress]] because a [[Julie Reveals Herself|13 year-old told him to]]).
*[[Chris and Health#Hygiene|His fingers]] (unlike with the other things he shoved up there, Chris actually admitted that this "felt alright", and it appears to now be his preferred method of anal stimulation).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 6">[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>
*Jets of water from his shower head (told [[Vanessa]] that he used to put things up his butt but it became uncomfortable for him so now it's just "sometimes with a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose").<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref>
*Another dildo, this one non-vibrating, sometimes covered with a washcloth, at least four times. He found it painful and not enjoyable.<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Strap-on details]]</ref>
*His own [[duck|dick]].<ref>[[Colin Chat 2]]</ref>

==Things Chris is willing to shove up his ass for his true love==
*A fake dick ("I would take that in for her").<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 7]]</ref>
*Strap-on dildo. While he told [[Jackie]] it could NOT be dick-shaped because that would be gay,<ref name="Jackie E-mails 6"/> he made no such qualification when referring to Catherine.<ref>[[Colin Chat 1]]</ref>
* A real dick (if [[Ivy]] wanted him to).<ref>[[Homos]]</ref>

==Sources==
<references />

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]][[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Chris and sex

2015-02-11T05:36:37Z

Sanicbum: Chris is signing sonichu medallions as Christine,

{{Honest}}
[[File:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumbnail|Pictures tell a million words, and in this case, a bit too many.]]
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''') as well as '''gender''', mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, a sheltered upbringing, and the warped worldview he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on the HBO network at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[Manchester High School|high-school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in porno movies, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[:wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his sex dolls [[Kimmi]] and [[Officer Nasty]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his [[Duck|broken penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "Tom-Tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

===Chris and gender===
Similar to [[Chris and religion|the topic of faith]], Chris's actual beliefs on gender are more complex than his stated beliefs. Over his life, he has developed a burning hatred of males [[JERKS#The list of males Chris doesn't hate|in general]], not unlike [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Aeverine_Nieves another autistic on ED] noted for his/her similarities to Chris. This likely spirals back to his bullying by other boys at school, not to mention the fact that Chris is known to fly into fits of [[Chris and his ego|jealous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] whenever he sees [[Liquid Chris|a man more successful than him]], especially if [[Clyde Cash|that]] [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|man]] [[Wes Iseli|is]] [[China|getting some]] and [[Virgin with rage|he isn't]]. Inversely, whenever trolls invented a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] for him, Chris would make [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|childish YouTube videos]] [[SHE IS MINE NOW|wherein he would gloat]] to their supposed exes. Chris's infantile, jealousy-driven hatred of his own gender has even led him to label [[JERKS|all men]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|"barbarian[s]"]]. This bizarre view may also have contributed to his [[Tomgirl|decision to cross-dress]].

Inversely, Chris repeatedly asserts his reverence of women, and seems to have a comparatively glowing opinion of them, stating that he finds women "empathetic". But, as stated at the beginning of the section, the truth is more complicated. While Chris has always preferred female friends, and is known to be far more accommodating of lesbians than gay men, even going so far as to [[Chris and reality|identify as one himself]], in truth, Chris has a distinctly sexist view of [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. By all accounts, Chris seems to place all women into one of two categories - organic [[Officer Nasty|sex]] [[Kimmi|toys]] who exist to submit to his every desire, or [[Barb|mother]] [[Gal-pals|figures]] who exist to dote on him, keep his child-like, responsibility-free lifestyle sustainable, and nurse his wounded [[ego]] whenever the need arises.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. This seems to be hyperbole, but considering Chris' abysmal knowledge of the sciences, it is difficult to be sure.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical straight and non-straight behavior, too, insisting he is straight even as he acts like a stereotypical mincing, [[Tomgirl|crossdressing]] transsexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks "gay" is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

As of 2015, Chris has stated his preference for female pronouns, going so far as to dub himself "Christine Weston Chandler" on his Facebook. As of 11 February, 2015, Chris has started signing the medallions he sells on eBay with this name. From this it can be inferred that the he was using the tomgirl label as a stepping stone into full blown transsexualism. Whether or not Chris is legitimately transsexual remains to be seen. As it is unlikely he will ever willingly see a therapist regarding his gender issues (or any other of his issues for that matter), we may never have a definitive answer.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approve of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seems to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true [[sweetheart]] (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before his alleged 'losing of virginity' incident.]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[For Julie's Eyes Only]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent [[duck]], [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive [[homos|homoerotic]] thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature, or a combination thereof.

==Staying straight==
{{see also|Homos#Fear of being a homo|l1=Fear of being a homo}}

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hugbox|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is something all men need to experience in order to become complete adults.

As the act of sexual intercourse and relationships in general are fairly social activities, it's quite possible that Chris views the act of losing his virginity as something of a rite of passage - something he needs to do in order to validate his own sexuality and prove to the world that he's a capable "adult". Chris also fails to realize that relationships are give and take. Every sweetheart that Chris has had, which eventually turned out to be a troll involved long, received relentless emails and calls in which Chris prattled on and on about how much he "loved" them and how he was looking forward to finally having sex. After supposedly losing his virginity, it's unknown if he still craves sexual intercourse as much as he did before. One thing is still certain, however, is that he still fervently desires the attention of a sweetheart.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

However, considering Chris's incessant shoehorning of entirely unnecessary sex into the comics, and the ludicrous efforts he goes to to get some [[China]], he does seem to possess sexual desire - though not necessarily for women, as these things could simply be part of his efforts to disprove his much-feared [[homosexuality]].

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, [[Patti-chan|Patti]]!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female (because he's not a homo) dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form, so technically, this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other, not vice versa.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still [[Mass debate|debated]].<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]], many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris' leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that the girl was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]].

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible, <ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true. <ref> [[http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]]</ref>

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't rape anybody, so stop saying and [[A-Logging]] that.}}

Chris is very apathetic about the idea of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her rapist, whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. More recently, he has taken to comparing his ordeals with the trolls to rape in his Facebook posts.

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, during a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls make him rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty ''fucked up'' that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

One might assume that he will one day try to rape someone due to this mindset and stalker tendencies, but this scenario is highly unlikely. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent....or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]].

He also does not have a history of violence (indeed, quite, quite the opposite), and anyway, aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person - the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favourite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing ''(in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it)'', potential sweethearts should still exercise some caution around him.

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Women's rights]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and sex

2015-02-10T16:38:35Z

Sanicbum: Chris likes female pronouns now.

{{Honest}}
[[File:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumbnail|Pictures tell a million words, and in this case, a bit too many.]]
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''') as well as '''gender''', mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, a sheltered upbringing, and the warped worldview he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on the HBO network around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[Manchester High School|high-school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in porno movies, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[:wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his sex dolls [[Kimmi]] and [[Officer Nasty]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his [[Duck|broken penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "Tom-Tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10]]).

===Chris and gender===
Similar to [[Chris and religion|the topic of faith]], Chris's actual beliefs on gender are more complex than his stated beliefs. Over his life, he has developed a burning hatred of males [[JERKS#The_list_of_males_Chris_doesn.27t_hate|in general]], not unlike [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Aeverine_Nieves another autist on ED] noted for his/her similarities to Chris. This likely spirals back to his bullying by other boys at school, not to mention the fact that Chris is known to fly into fits of [[Chris and his ego|jealous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] whenever he sees [[Liquid Chris|a man more successful than him]], especially if [[Clyde Cash|that]] [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor|man]] [[Wes Iseli|is]] [[China|getting some]] and [[Virgin with rage|he isn't]]. Inversely, whenever trolls invented a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] for him, Chris would make [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|childish Youtube videos]] [[SHE IS MINE NOW|wherein he would gloat]] to their supposed exes. Chris's infantile, jealousy-driven hatred of his own gender has even led him to label [[JERKS|all men]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|"barbarian[s]"]]. This bizarre view may also have contributed to his [[Tomgirl|decision to cross-dress]].

Inversely, Chris repeatedly asserts his reverence of women, and seems to have a comparatively glowing opinion of them, stating that he finds women "empathetic". But, as stated at the beginning of the section, the truth is more complicated. While Chris has always preferred female friends, and is known to be far more accommodating of lesbians than gay men, even going so far as to [[Chris and reality|identify as one himself]], in truth, Chris has a distinctly sexist view of [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. By all accounts, Chris seems to place all women into one of two categories - organic [[Officer Nasty|sex]] [[Kimmi|toys]] who exist to submit to his every desire, or [[Barb|mother]] [[Gal-pals|figures]] who exist to dote on him, keep his child-like, responsibility-free lifestyle sustainable, and nurse his wounded [[ego]] whenever the need arises.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. This seems to be hyperbole, but considering Chris' abysmal knowledge of the sciences, it is difficult to be sure.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical straight and non-straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a stereotypical mincing, [[Tomgirl|crossdressing]] transsexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks "gay" is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

As of 2015, Chris has stated his preference for female pronouns, going so far as to dub himself "Christine Weston Chandler" on his Facebook. From this it can be inferred that the he was using the tomgirl label as a stepping stone into full blown transsexualism. Whether or not Chris is legitimately transsexual remains to be seen. As it is unlikely he will ever willingly see a therapist regarding his gender issues (or any other of his issues for that matter), we may never have a definitive answer.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approve of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seems to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true [[sweetheart]] (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before his alleged 'losing of virginity' incident.]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent [[duck]], [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive [[homos|homoerotic]] thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature, or a combination thereof.

==Staying straight==
{{see also|Homos#Fear of being a homo|l1=Fear of being a homo}}

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hugbox|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is something all men need to experience in order to become complete adults.

As the act of sexual intercourse and relationships in general are fairly social activities, it's quite possible that Chris views the act of losing his virginity as something of a rite of passage - something he needs to do in order to validate his own sexuality and prove to the world that he's a capable "adult". Chris also fails to realize that relationships are give and take. Every sweetheart that Chris has had, which eventually turned out to be a troll involved long, received relentless emails and calls in which Chris prattled on and on about how much he "loved" them and how he was looking forward to finally having sex. After supposedly losing his virginity, it's unknown if he still craves sexual intercourse as much as he did before. One thing is still certain, however, is that he still fervently desires the attention of a sweetheart.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

However, considering Chris's incessant shoehorning of entirely unnecessary sex into the comics, and the ludicrous efforts he goes to to get some [[China]], he does seem to possess sexual desire - though not necessarily for women, as these things could simply be part of his efforts to disprove his much-feared [[homosexuality]].

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, [[Patti-chan|Patti]]!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female (because he's not a homo) dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form, so technically, this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other, not vice versa.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still [[Mass debate|debated]].<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]], many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris' leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that the girl was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]].

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible, <ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true. <ref> [[http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]]</ref>

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't rape anybody, so stop saying and [[A-Logging]] that.}}

Chris is very apathetic about the idea of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her rapist, whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. More recently, he has taken to comparing his ordeals with the trolls to rape in his Facebook posts.

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, during a particularly [[IRC_(23_July_2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls make him rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty ''fucked up'' that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

One might assume that he will one day try to rape someone due to this mindset and stalker tendencies, but this scenario is highly unlikely. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent....or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The_Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]].

He also does not have a history of violence (indeed, quite, quite the opposite), and anyway, aside from his [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person - the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favourite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing ''(in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it)'', potential sweethearts should still exercise some caution around him.

==See also==
*[[ShecameforCWC]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and sex

2015-02-10T16:36:03Z

Sanicbum:

{{Honest}}
[[File:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumbnail|Pictures tell a million words, and in this case, a bit too many.]]
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''') as well as '''gender''', mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, a sheltered upbringing, and the warped worldview he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on the HBO network around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[Manchester High School|high-school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in porno movies, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[:wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his sex dolls [[Kimmi]] and [[Officer Nasty]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his [[Duck|broken penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "Tom-Tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10]]).

===Chris and gender===
Similar to [[Chris and religion|the topic of faith]], Chris's actual beliefs on gender are more complex than his stated beliefs. Over his life, he has developed a burning hatred of males [[JERKS#The_list_of_males_Chris_doesn.27t_hate|in general]], not unlike [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Aeverine_Nieves another autist on ED] noted for his/her similarities to Chris. This likely spirals back to his bullying by other boys at school, not to mention the fact that Chris is known to fly into fits of [[Chris and his ego|jealous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] whenever he sees [[Liquid Chris|a man more successful than him]], especially if [[Clyde Cash|that]] [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor|man]] [[Wes Iseli|is]] [[China|getting some]] and [[Virgin with rage|he isn't]]. Inversely, whenever trolls invented a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] for him, Chris would make [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|childish Youtube videos]] [[SHE IS MINE NOW|wherein he would gloat]] to their supposed exes. Chris's infantile, jealousy-driven hatred of his own gender has even led him to label [[JERKS|all men]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|"barbarian[s]"]]. This bizarre view may also have contributed to his [[Tomgirl|decision to cross-dress]].

Inversely, Chris repeatedly asserts his reverence of women, and seems to have a comparatively glowing opinion of them, stating that he finds women "empathetic". But, as stated at the beginning of the section, the truth is more complicated. While Chris has always preferred female friends, and is known to be far more accommodating of lesbians than gay men, even going so far as to [[Chris and reality|identify as one himself]], in truth, Chris has a distinctly sexist view of [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. By all accounts, Chris seems to place all women into one of two categories - organic [[Officer Nasty|sex]] [[Kimmi|toys]] who exist to submit to his every desire, or [[Barb|mother]] [[Gal-pals|figures]] who exist to dote on him, keep his child-like, responsibility-free lifestyle sustainable, and nurse his wounded [[ego]] whenever the need arises.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. This seems to be hyperbole, but considering Chris' abysmal knowledge of the sciences, it is difficult to be sure.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical straight and non-straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a stereotypical mincing, [[Tomgirl|crossdressing]] transsexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks "gay" is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

As of 2015, Chris has stated his preference for female pronouns. From this it can be inferred that the he was using the tomgirl label as a stepping stone into full blown transsexualism. Whether or not Chris is legitimately transsexual remains to be seen. As it is unlikely he will ever willingly see a therapist regarding his gender issues (or any other of his issues for that matter), we may never have a definitive answer.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approve of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seems to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true [[sweetheart]] (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before his alleged 'losing of virginity' incident.]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent [[duck]], [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive [[homos|homoerotic]] thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature, or a combination thereof.

==Staying straight==
{{see also|Homos#Fear of being a homo|l1=Fear of being a homo}}

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hugbox|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is something all men need to experience in order to become complete adults.

As the act of sexual intercourse and relationships in general are fairly social activities, it's quite possible that Chris views the act of losing his virginity as something of a rite of passage - something he needs to do in order to validate his own sexuality and prove to the world that he's a capable "adult". Chris also fails to realize that relationships are give and take. Every sweetheart that Chris has had, which eventually turned out to be a troll involved long, received relentless emails and calls in which Chris prattled on and on about how much he "loved" them and how he was looking forward to finally having sex. After supposedly losing his virginity, it's unknown if he still craves sexual intercourse as much as he did before. One thing is still certain, however, is that he still fervently desires the attention of a sweetheart.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

However, considering Chris's incessant shoehorning of entirely unnecessary sex into the comics, and the ludicrous efforts he goes to to get some [[China]], he does seem to possess sexual desire - though not necessarily for women, as these things could simply be part of his efforts to disprove his much-feared [[homosexuality]].

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, [[Patti-chan|Patti]]!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female (because he's not a homo) dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form, so technically, this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other, not vice versa.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still [[Mass debate|debated]].<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]], many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris' leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that the girl was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]].

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible, <ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true. <ref> [[http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]]</ref>

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't rape anybody, so stop saying and [[A-Logging]] that.}}

Chris is very apathetic about the idea of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her rapist, whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. More recently, he has taken to comparing his ordeals with the trolls to rape in his Facebook posts.

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, during a particularly [[IRC_(23_July_2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls make him rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty ''fucked up'' that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

One might assume that he will one day try to rape someone due to this mindset and stalker tendencies, but this scenario is highly unlikely. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent....or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The_Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]].

He also does not have a history of violence (indeed, quite, quite the opposite), and anyway, aside from his [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person - the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favourite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing ''(in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it)'', potential sweethearts should still exercise some caution around him.

==See also==
*[[ShecameforCWC]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}