CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Chris and health

2012-05-16T03:25:14Z

SerenityMoonstone:

Hey we should add a "gallery of fatness" to the bottom of the page with pictures of his horrible fatness.--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 19:01, 23 July 2009 (CEST)
*That's not such a bad idea, I suppose. What would be best is if you could make them show how much he has ballooned over the years. [[User:Dormiebasne|Dormiebasne]] 21:20, 23 July 2009 (CEST)
**That is an even better idea--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 23:09, 23 July 2009 (CEST)
*** Damn, I wish he was one of those people who took a photo of himself once a day. Then we could make an animation. [[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 15:33, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

Moved the gallery of hair. --[[User:Garfield|Garfield]] 03:14, 25 July 2009 (CEST)
*Cool!--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 16:50, 29 July 2009 (CEST)

In Kacey's recollection of her date with Chris, she mentioned how he would sweat profusely just by walking. Where in the article should I add that? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 21:17, 14 June 2010 (UTC)

== Need to do ==
*Probably move the hair to Sonichu Girls or just make a new page for it, I think it warrants its own page because it also demonstrates MEXICAN SONICHU and poor Spanish
*Also, incorporate chris's coke habits (the drink) http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?n2bjtmemyyj [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:33, 29 September 2009 (CEST)

== Chris and Strength? ==

Chris seems to suffer form delusions that he's really strong and a good fighter. I'd go into more depth except that I'm not really strong nor a good fighter. All I know is that he's worse at both than me. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 06:26, 13 October 2009 (CEST)

== Weird section ==

The article currently says: "''Chris has probably never had any regular exercise since leaving high school, and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. It has also left his skin a frightening white that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room while making videos.''" Now, I'm not a medical professional or anything, but I'm pretty sure exercise level doesn't have much to do with skin color. The second sentence should probably be moved or at least clarified.
*No, I think that's more or less sun. Trust me, if you can get him to push carts during the summer at some Wal-Mart or whatever, his skin'll look a million times better. Of course, we're talking about Chris, who thinks item stockers in retail are "heavyweights".--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 20:24, 7 January 2010 (UTC)
:*I have edited it as such:''"Since he barely leave his house and focus his time on playing videogames, his lack of exposure to the sunlight left his skin a frightening white that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room while making videos."'' I hope it will please Mr. Anonymous... [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:35, 7 January 2010 (UTC)

==So when WAS the last time Chris took a shower?==
Seriously. What was the exact date of Chris's last shower? Considering how much he's divulged about his life it shouldn't be hard to aquire this information. [[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 13:30, 14 January 2010 (UTC)
:*It's not as simple as you think. First, Chris is not the type of camera-whore who would record this. Then, He's in [[Homos|straight]] denial about this as you can read it in the article. Personally, my out-of-nowhere guess would be once a week or when the itching would became impossible to endure. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:47, 14 January 2010 (UTC)
:** If a guy is said to be smelling like rotten watermelon or rotting fish in the sun, he's probably not even showering once a MONTH. Has anybody actually ASKED him? [[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 15:31, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
:***Do you think he would listen? Chris had learned over the years that making over-the-top claims and giving assurances of all sorts would allow him to avoid doing any action. So, if we ask him, be sure that he will repeat that he showers daily even if flies drop dead around him due to the stench. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:32, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
:****I've been brushing up on my psychology and according to Professor Jean M. Twenge of San Diego University in her book "The Narcissism Epidemic" It illustrates that Narcissists are extremely fragile to criticism and with his autism and child like personality it would be no surprise if chris chan has spent several months/days without showering (just look at that brownish crust on his neck) And I imagine that even if he does he probably doesn't shower thoroughly enough to get rid of his...err aroma.--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 18:01, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

==Is he in danger of developing diabetes?==

Its just speculation on my part but with a 60 ounces of coke a day habit and whatever other high sugar foods he is eating combined with his obesity as well as the possible hypertension make me wonder if he is at risk. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]
* It's probably very possible. I mean, the sugar content in McDonald's is high, and in even a 330ml can of Coke (11fl oz. approx.) there is about 60% of an adult's daily sugar allowance.. Maybe if we try and get information from him that we can cross-reference to a list of diabetes symptoms, such as exceptional thirst, dry mouth and frequent urination. [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 17:21, 21 February 2010 (UTC)
** Could I maybe send him a letter leading him on to list any of these symptoms in operation Mailbag?[[User:Shawths|Shawths]]
*** Chris is at high risk for pretty much everything that obesity can cause.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:46, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
**** Chris is at a higher risk for everything he ignores. Right now, I still think he's on a higher risk of suffering a bad case of staph infection than anything else. He got no notion of hygiene, his immune system is crushed by his lifestyle and he's living in a dump. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:31, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
*****Forget staph; he's at risk for freaking leprosy. [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 08:37, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
*It wouldn't be surprising if he had diabetes already. Have you seen his complexion? Early age spots are a possible sign of diabetes and that combined with the fact that he gets tired easily makes me believe that he might already have diabetes. PS I'm a newfag with wikis so I hope this works.
** Protip. Sign your comments by putting <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki> at the end of your comment, so we all know you are AFK4Life. [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 09:34, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
*** The reason I suggested a letter was so that we could get a confirmation about the liklyhood of him having diabetes. Although it is probably true. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]] 10:25, 26 Febuary 2010 (UTC)
****This will fail in two distinctive ways; not only he barely take notice of the unpleasant letters in the mailbags but he's also certain that he's the living example of what a healthy man looks like. This being said, I will take great pleasure in knowing he would have to stab himself with a syringe again and again due to a disease caused by his fat ass. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:10, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
***** However, considering that Chris is more interested in spending his tugboat money on video games and sex toys, it's more likely that he will fall into a diabetic coma because he didn't want to spend the money on urgent medical supplies. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 17:19, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
****** I will have to disagree with you on this. I am ready to bet that the moment Chris will need insulin or any other medication, not only the said medication will be brought to him freely by the glorious state of Virginia but he will also be followed by a social worker. We have to include the fact that Chris took medication before. In the [[Autism papers]], it is mentioned that he took paxil for four years. So, yes, he can follow a regiment of drugs. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:26, 14 June 2010 (UTC)

That's another thing that bothers me--why was he on Paxil? I hear that it treats two things--depression and excessive urination. Either way I want to know what prompted it.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 21:34, 14 June 2010 (UTC)
* Interestingly enough, paxil has been known in some paitents to cause outbursts of anger: http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=19&m=203440
:It is mainly prescribed to treat depression, but is also occasionally prescribed to individuals who complain of extreme stress. It is possible that the lumberjack and snorlax got Chris a prescription thinking it would mellow him out, or it may be that Chris has been very depressed and the paxil was specifically prescribed to him for his depression. Considering his goals in life, and his chances of achieving them, it is quite likely (even with Chris's limited mental foresight) that he has realized that his goals are almost certainly unachievable, and thus he is depressed. [[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 18:25, 14 June 2010 (EST)
::It is interesting to see when Chris started taking paxil. If we refer ourselves to the Autism paper (Circa 2004), it tells us that the ManChild was on that medication for the last 4 years. This bring us to the end of his High-School years and his enrolment at the PVCC. There's a possibility that it was suggested to Chris's parents to put him on meds to help him with the transition from one setting to another. After all, autistics love patterns and the loss of those patterns can cause stress and bouts of 'Tard-Rage. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:21, 15 June 2010 (UTC)

== Inability to Recognize Faces ==

I think it should be mentioned that the inability to recognize faces is a very common trait of Autism. The fact that Chris cannot recognize faces confirmed (to me) that he definitely has a form of autism before those psychiatric evaluations were released.

Also, a lack of smell-sensory is another symptom of autism. This is definitely far from the only reason that Chris never showers, and not all Autistic people lack a sense of smell, but still I thought I should mention it.(Wiki newfag here; I hope this works.) --[[User:Windyshoot|Windyshoot]] 09:02, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

At first,I read inability to recognize feces. LOL! --[[User:Kawaiidesubakachan|Kawaiidesubakachan]] 02:14, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

Im autistic and i remember faces more than names.[[user:MrMaXimo|MrMaXimo]] 12:45, 28 2010 (PST)

A lack of facial recognition is fairly common, or facial confusion. I believe it tends to be more of an issue for quick introductions, though, not anyone who there's been an extended interaction with. The second part is, however, just my own experience with the 'sperg and should NOT be taken as a universal.[[User:Zekedms|Zekedms]] 19:42, 23 February 2011 (PST)

== Chris's obesity ==

In response to to how much weight chris gained during his apearence in the pimp my ride video, someone in the talk section asked for a comparison between chris's breast and those of a big chested woman. after combining the image below i noticed that chris has gained so much weight that his man-boobs have become massive. what i'm trying to ask is if the image could be included in the chris and obesity section. [[User:MoarLurk]]
[[file:Compare.jpg|300px|right]]

:I made that image with pretty much that purpose. Also if you notice, chris's boobs are bigger.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 22:05, 14 June 2010 (UTC)
::I suspect that Chris has a hormonal imbalance. Even with his corpulent physique, his breasts are disproportionately large, and his nipples look like pepperonis. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:07, 14 June 2010 (UTC)
:::That's exactly what he has. This is typical of gynecomastia. [[User:Hamsterjelly|Hamsterjelly]] 06:24, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::The though of Chris's nipples...cannot unsee.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 22:14, 14 June 2010 (UTC)
::::We have pictures of them, remember? We've seen the man screwing a blow-up doll. How can his nipples be close to that disturbance? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 16:51, 15 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::Anything involving the naked body of that man is of the deepest bowels of hell or Rhyel.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 17:08, 15 June 2010 (UTC)

== Hormonal imbalance ==
i've beggining to suspect that chris suffers from hormonal imbalance, it would explain his high pitched voice and the overgrown mantits and acne at that age. Poor hygiene can explian the acne a bit. Obesity can explain the mantits, but to Chris's level, it has to be the hormones, I think he has an exess of strogen in his system.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:46, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:*Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. ... but it could be testosterone. My understanding is that the human body can only tolerate so much testosterone; any excess is converted into estrogen (or oestrogen). Given that in addition to his [[Collosal|Collosal Chris Chan]] manboobs Chris appears to display uncontrollable bouts of anger ("Shouting loud enough to wake the dead" over a slightly overpriced cup of coffee), has great difficulty keeping his hands [[Kacey|off]] [[Megan|women]], constantly obsesses about sex and generally acts like a horny 16 year old when he's 28 seems to suggest that, perhaps, he has a large amount of testosterone in his system and the excess is being turned into estrogen. An outside observer with absolutely no idea who Chris is might even suggest steroid abuse (before anyone jumps in with 'but Chris is weak!', steroids don't make you STRONG, they're just basically horse urine which is huge amounts of testosterone. It bulks you up a great deal, but if you take steroids and don't work out, you get really fat and get huge mantits). It's times like these I wish the mailbags were still going, so we could ask Chris directly if he was taking steroids. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:01, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

::*I'm sure there may be a hormonal imbalance, but I think the cause may well be Klinefelter's. Chris-Chan fits a fair amount of the general symptoms, and I'm surprised it hasn't been further investigated. Small/malformed penis and testicles, slowly developing and altogether missing male secondary sex characteristics, the extremely high voice, the suggestions of gender confusion and sexual orientation difficulties, not to mention the prominent breasts. Those are developed much more than one would expect for someone at his fitness level, despite how low it is. Of course, since nobody's bothering to run fertility tests on him, confirmation on such a thing would be VERY difficult. But at this point, XXY makes more sense to me than anything.[[User:Zekedms|Zekedms]] 03:56, 20 February 2011 (PST)

:::No. He grows facial hair easily, and the associated hypogonadism means lower decreased testicular hormone/endocrine function, not smaller genitals. His obesity and autism explain pretty much all of his symptoms. Chris's voice isn't especially high, except when he freaks out. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 12:44, 20 February 2011 (PST)

::::No, it isn’t Klinefelter's. It’s already been addressed in detail in one of the speculation topics, so to spare a TLDR I’ll be brief. Not only is there no evidence pointing to it, but his phenotype is incompatible with the condition. His integumentary problems: his acne & bad complexion, androgenic baldness, fat distribution pattern(fat in the gut first is a testosterone induced thing), shows that his body has no shortage of testosterone. Since he has that much fat, some of it is bound to go and cause manboobs, that’s pretty much like any guy will get when they cross over to obesity.(The fat means more horomones & some of the exess T will be converted to estrogen, but obviously not enough to overpower the testosterone turned DHT's effect on his skin& hair) Also since the latest molecular research into autism shows that estrogen acts as a promoter for several genes that are linked to protecting against autism while testosterone methilates them, it’s unlikely Chris has ever been estrogen dominant, and it’s likely he was exposed to too much testosterone in utero. It’s not <del>Lupus</del> Klinefelter's.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 21:25, 21 February 2011 (PST)

==Wes Iseli==

This article mentioned an non-sourced comment from Wes Iseli about Chris's funk during his PVCC days. I know it's not an official statement, but does any one know where or who that came from? ---[[User:ConCat|ConCat]] 17:17, 28 August 2010 (PDT)

== WeighIn ==

Should we add the new information about his weight we learned from this new video? We should also probably add something about why he must weigh 216 despite having the body we all see. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:31, 26 October 2010 (PDT)

== Page Blanked? ==

Why did youdonttellmewhattodo blank the page? Is he trying to troll us, or is there an actual reason for this?--[[User:Rena-kun|others > ;0; ;0; ;0; ^-^ < Rena-kun (me)]] 20:05, 17 July 2011 (PDT)

== Klinefelter ==

Could it be that Chris also suffers from the conditition known as Klinefelter Syndrome?
He has many of the symptoms:
*Unnatural large breasts
*Narrow bones
*Weak muscles
*Small genitalia
*High-pitched voice
*Little body and facial hair
*(Mild?) mental retardation (or, at the very least, below-average intelligence)
*Small hands and feet
*Obesity
I think it's pretty likely Chris has this discease. Maybe on top of other things, but it would explain a lot of his physical characteristiscs and behaviour I'd say. [[User:Charles|Charles]] 02:39, 29 November 2011 (PST)

== Broken source ==
The link to the first source seems to be broken, Chris' email responses in the linked "mailbag" are definitely not from Chris.--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 18:41, 23 April 2012 (PDT)

== When was the last time Chris went to a doctor? ==

Seriously. He's obese,rarely showers, most likely doesn't brush his teeth, and lives in a house infested with bugs that left Bob covered in so many bites he had to be hospitalized. The aforementioned might happen to live off blood, and could pass on diseases to hosts. It's highly unlikely that he has been vaccinated recently as he would rather stay home and play video games (considering Chris rarely leaves his house, however, this might not be too big of a problem), possible vitamin D deficiency from going outside, and unless Chris used protection, he may have an STD. How can any doctor allow this?--[[User:Germanicus|Germanicus]] 19:22, 11 May 2012 (PDT)
:While 1) this isn't a forum... 2) Chris has not been giving out information about his life like he used to (or that we know of)... so as far as we KNOW, it was when he was "with" Kacey. He talked about going to the doctor quite a bit while emailing/phoning Kasey. The first time when he had to take some stress meds and his doctor took him off, and then he found out he was 206lbs, the other when he talked about his penis size and how to enhance it.... and another time when he said he had an appointment. I think he probably does get check-ups once in a while..but all he'd have to do is brush his teeth and shower before going and that'd be good enough to disguise a lot of what's going on. He's the only one that lives on his floor, and he rarely leaves his room, any bugs that may have lived with Bob or Barb probably don't hitch a ride with him to produce the number bites Bob had.--[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 19:36, 11 May 2012 (PDT)

== Shower ==

Should it be noted of the poor condition his shower is in? Even in the tiny glance of the reference picture? I wouldn't want to shower in a place that likely had mold, though if it were me, I wouldn't have let it get to that point in the first place! --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 23:25, 15 May 2012 (EDT)

Talk:Anime

2012-05-16T03:04:43Z

SerenityMoonstone:

[[Image:SchuComic3Page23.jpg|thumbnail|Page in question.]]
Should we mention instances of Chris ripping off an anime in the comic on this page if the anime doesn't have its own? Because he ripped off Inuyasha on one page, and I seem to remember him ripping off Pretty Cure in one of the sub-episodes with Crystal... --[[User:Lime|Lime]] ([[User_talk:Lime|Scold?]] | [[Special:Contributions/Lime|Undo?]]) 06:10, 5 June 2009 (CEST)
:Pretty Cure is mentioned [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance|here]] if you want info. [[User:Shiny Marshtomp|Shiny]] 06:16, 5 June 2009 (CEST)
::Oh, d'oh, didn't see that page. Thanks! --[[User:Lime|Lime]] ([[User_talk:Lime|Scold?]] | [[Special:Contributions/Lime|Undo?]]) 06:20, 5 June 2009 (CEST)

I mucked around a little with the article and added two more examples of animu rip-offage. I also added a pic of Go Nagai in the vein of the old "Mr. Darcy" image that was on Chris' main page, because Uncle Go is the PERFECT illustration of what Chris isn't but wishes to be. - [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]]

Rewrote and expanded this some. Felt like the Shuffle thing was worth mentioning, since shitty harem anime is such a perfect representation of the kind of fantasy Chris would fall hook, line, and sinker for. One thing I'm kinda curious about, though, that someone more familiar with the history might now. Has he ever said why he hasn't gone back to a con since the '05 Anime Mid-Atlantic? -- [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 08 September 2009

I noticed the in [[Forgiveness Blessings]] he does something called a Curse shot, where he simply acts like he's firing a gun with his finger. This is very reminiscient of Yu Yu Hakusho, with Yusuke's Spirit Gun. Just thought it was worth mentioning.--[[User:Howsyourham|Howsyourham]] 00:18, 10 September 2009 (CEST)

*Did he really watch Urotsukidoji or is someone just fucking with us? --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 15:26, 12 October 2009 (CEST)
----

Where exactly did he rip off Fist Of The North Star? --[[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 23:33, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:* According to the Excel Saga article:
:::"Time-delay attack: Mostly, this episode parodies Fist of the North Star, which features a powerful fighter kicking ass in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Since Excel is in the role of the hero, she uses a variation of the anime's titular attack, which involves punching your opponent a billion times. The thing about the Fist of the North Star is that it takes three seconds to have any effect, after which the opponent explodes like a water balloon filled with blood, then becomes a pastiche of Dejiko from Digi Charat. When dubious villains question the attack's power, the hero would famously reply "But you're already dead", right before they die. Chris adapted this idea when he first used the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in Sonichu #0. The Jerkhief didn't feel a thing at first, and then his life began to unravel from the curse."

That's why I wrote "indirectly". --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 23:03, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

== Source is broken. ==

Source cited is PVCC, and the old one to boot. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 20:24, 16 June 2010 (UTC)

== Nabeshin Betrays Chris ==

One of his newer roles, as a rental man in Nerima Daikon Brothers, has him lending out a suit to one of the main characters, and well..yeah, you can tell what I'm talking about. Sauce (Video is one of the flagged ones though, gotta have an 18+ account to view): http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=http%3A//www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DgYc_LmlAu0c

==Worth mentioning anywhere?==

I was re-reading some of the old stuff such as the letters for [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Sonichu_Girls#Introduction Sonichu Girls] and I noticed that he would occasionally sign his letters "love and peace", which is pretty much Vash's catch phrase in Trigun. He did it on [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Takashi_Tezuka another letters] as well. It's a small and somewhat insignificant thing but I wondered if it was worth mentioning here at all. [[User:Meeko|Meeko]] 06:13, 23 June 2011 (PDT)Meeko
*Can we establish this is where he got it from? It's possible but it's also possible (now bear with me here) he came up with it independently or he's possibly ripping it off from another source. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:09, 23 June 2011 (PDT)

== Anime Chris has ripped off ==

Is this part really necessary? We already have a whole [[Things Chris has ripped off|article]] for this. [[User:SonichuSux|SonichuSux]] 23:51, 3 March 2012 (PST)

I would disagree. Part of what makes this wiki on the whole is specific examples so we don't look like we're accusing him blindly. [[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 23:01, 15 May 2012 (EST)

== Weeaboo? ==

Anyone want to explain to me why people have labeled him a weeaboo? It's just a personal pet-peeve of mine since people seem to think weeaboos are anyone who enjoy anime because we're all annoying fangirls/boys who butcher the japanese language and wish we all lived in Japan because all hail the great Japan. [[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 23:04, 15 May 2012 (EST)

Talk:A Hike

2010-10-12T03:14:27Z

SerenityMoonstone:

{{Not A Forum}}

Transcribed. Missed a few words, such as what he has in addition to his phone and camera and the word he used to describe the woodland theater. [[User:Mupkids|Mupkids]] 19:49, 9 October 2010 (PDT)

*Pretty sure he's saying "OFF!," as in the brand of insect repellant. The second unintelligible might be Palmer, since I think he's talking about the [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/woodlandtheater.html Palmer Woodland Theater]. --[[User:GrannyT|GrannyT]] 21:35, 9 October 2010 (PDT)

In the first few seconds of the video it sounds like he's saying "waking" insead of "making" [[User:MoarDesu|MoarDesu]] 20:50, 9 October 2010 (PDT)

What "Carter family" is he talking about?--[[User:Svek|Švek]] 21:04, 9 October 2010 (PDT)
*Considering he mentions the Carter name after reaching the overlook, he's probably referring to [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/carter.html this]. [[User:Tadahima|Tadahima]] 23:47, 9 October 2010 (PDT)

To whomever wrote it, 59 miles is NOT less than one kilometre. Hell, one mile is more than one kilometre. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 02:09, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
*Oh wait, my glasses weren't on. Derp. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 02:12, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
*I wrote it. 0.59 miles is about 950 meters, or a little over ten football field lengths. --[[User:Riley_Martin|'''Uhh… this is Riley Martin.''' O-Qua Tangin Wann]] 10:58, 10 October 2010 (PDT)

[[Wes Iseli|Wes]] commented on the video [http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments=1&v=37pXWB9rjBU (Search "WesIseli")] . Any thoughts? Should we be adding that bit of info here and/or on the main article of him? I'd do it but I'm too damn tired to think up a concise description --[[User:Nechita|Nechita]] 11:53, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
*You could say "Wes commented on the video and told Chris to get a job, proving he doesn't know our man-child very well". By the way, is it really the Wes Iseli or is it just someone using the name?[[User:Svek|Švek]] 12:06, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
**I doubt Wes Iseli gives two shits about Chris, it's most likely someone posing as him. [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 12:46, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
:*The one that posted on that video is not the same wes as that is listed on his page here. It could still be Wes using a different account but I doubt it. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 12:48, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
::*It's a fake account god damn it. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 12:53, 10 October 2010 (PDT)

After getting a data processing error two times, I successfully put in the time code. I've learned that I shouldn't leave the edit window open for a long time. I copy-pasted my edits to the article, which saved me from wasting ten minutes putting in the edits again. From now on, I'll use NotePad to transcribe and paste the text into the article. --[[User:Vofdoom38|VofDoom38]] 18:52, 10 October 2010 (PDT)

== Did chris learn that moss grows on the north side of a tree from Sonic Sez? ==

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CY85z3rKp0&feature=related]

== Total Distance ==

Let assume I'm stupid and/or lazy, just how much did Chris-Chan hike? --[[SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 23:14, 11 October 2010

Talk:100 2270

2010-10-08T03:02:42Z

SerenityMoonstone:

Transcribing...--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 15:40, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
*Can the transcriber please put in the discussion when they are transcribing so that multiple people don't transcribe...--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 15:54, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
*Sorry brah, try being quicker ;P Nah, I kid. But seriously. And I have a name. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 16:07, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
==Same person?==
Unless I'm missing something, he seems to think Alec Benson Leary and Liquid are the same person. Worth mentioning I guess. [[User:I Love Little Girls|I Love Little Girls]] 15:49, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
* Actually he's imitating Liquid imitating Alec Benson Leary. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 16:22, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
**I think he's alternating between the two. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 16:28, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
== British? ==

Are you sure Chris is trying to do a British accent in this one? Neither Alec nor Liquid are English, and he's saying he's from Pennsylvania (or, indeed, Philadelphia). It sounds to me like he's trying to imitate what he considers to be a nasal quality in Liquid's voice. --[[User:Radishchu|Radishchu]] 16:14, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
*Yeh, that's probably more accurate. To me it seems like he's poorly imitating Eric Cartman's voice from South Park. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 16:22, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

* Think I'll edit it if nobody minds. I really don't think it is an English accent, even by Chris' standards. --[[User:Radishchu|Radishchu]] 16:45, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

does anyone else notice that he sounds like an autistic, man-child version of Joe Pesci in this video?

== Identity ==
Maybe it should be noted that Chris claims he doesn't know himself cause he doesn't have a page, though this is more likely him saying he has no idea who this guy is. --[[SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 23:02, 7 October 2010 (EST)

Talk:Lars Is Jivin'.MP4

2010-10-03T03:52:01Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* On a boat, motherfucker, on a motherfucking boat */

if no one else wants to im gonna get to transcribin' dis...BITCH! --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 17:45, 30 September 2010 (PDT). Thanks for reading!
*and done, except for that part after he throws the tape dispenser where he picks up the camera and says stuff that i can't hear. if anyone wants to try and figure out what the hell he's saying, by my guest. --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 17:49, 30 September 2010 (PDT). Thanks for reading!

I feel like this is the "Part 2" of something. Maybe the manchild dint figured a way to post them in order. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:55, 30 September 2010 (PDT)
* These which were uploaded a few days ago: [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]] and [[New Address]] [[User:Arius|Arius]] 18:12, 30 September 2010 (PDT)
:* Nice theory. I just forgot that Chris is the type of moron who thinks that everyone follows his words to the letter. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 18:23, 30 September 2010 (PDT)
::That's sarcasm, right Griffintown? Tell me you didn't just type that sentence straight-faced on the CWCki of all places...-[[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 23:12, 30 September 2010 (PDT)

Damn Chris pulled that video super quick [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 19:17, 30 September 2010 (PDT)
:Awh... somebody mirror that shit... though it sounds like it was particularly short, and not very informative; no shit's too minor. maybe he's finally gotten to checkign shit after he uploads them?--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 19:43, 30 September 2010 (PDT)
::I managed to recover the video from my browser cache - just switched the links over. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 19:55, 30 September 2010 (PDT)

== Them gifs in thumbs ain't no wokin' fr me ==

:( --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:23, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:* Dint work for me neither. Dint work in the thumbnail or in a "shrunk" format. the original is working, if used full-size. My mad editing skillz don't work on this issue. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:17, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
::*It works for me. Maybe it's your browser.--[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 07:08, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:::They usually won't animoot if you resize the in-line image. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 08:44, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
::::Yeah, I couldn't get it to animate properly when I put it up. Now it's been replaced by a black man. That's affirmative action for you. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 09:22, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:::::...You don't read Asperchu do you? That black man is Jivin, one of Asperchu's joy-boys. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 11:10, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
::::::I know who Jivin is. *stress sigh* --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 12:08, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

== Quality is worse ==

I noticed the video and audio quality is as bad as it was last year. Is Chris using his older PS Eye or is it because of the MP4 file format? I know MP4 quality is horrible compared to MOV. --[[User:Vofdoom38|VofDoom38]] 17:10, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:He edited the video, so it's probably due to that. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:40, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

== Boy ==

He is using sterotypically "black" words but I really don't think that he means "boy" to be a racial slur. I've heard many people, generally older, refer to younger men this way to put them in there place. I know that since Chris lives in the South he may have heard the racist version of it, also used to put people "in their place", but I just don't think it was his intention. After all it is a very old usage of the word and black people do use the word "boy" as well. I think he is just stupidly parroting things he's heard black people say. If he wanted to be racist he'd have said nigger like he did with Tito.--[[User:Svek|Švek]] 19:52, 2 October 2010 (PDT)

==Hypocrisy==
Sounds like there more material in here for [[Chris and Hypocrisy]] here. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 23:38, 2 October 2010 (EST)

== On a boat, motherfucker, on a motherfucking boat ==

The Context of these supposed boats suggest model kit boats (not an actual yacht or boat, as may be within the "Gangsta Rapper" paradigm), which would be an upper-class hobby for anybody, irrelivant to race. Think it's worth mentioning? --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 20:42, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
*Or maybe Lars is an aspie... Or perhaps boats are an allegory for the PS3 and Chris is oblivious to the irony of what he's saying. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 20:46, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
**Sooooo, what I was saying in Chris and Hypocrisy? Of course, unlike his games and such, model boats are meant to be collected and not played with or anything, like, lets say, antique swords. But supposing this is real, there is a problem when people leave you because you spend all your money on model boats. But this isn't about him, this is about Chris. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 23:50, 2 October 2010

Talk:Lars Is Jivin'.MP4

2010-10-03T03:38:19Z

SerenityMoonstone:

Talk:100 2261.MOV

2010-10-02T15:15:44Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Chest */

{{Not A Forum}}

Is there an article about all the bullshit chris has said to try to get china? Nothing on the China page. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 14:38, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

Commencing transcription. --[[User:KHLDFS|KHLDFS]] 15:00, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
*Never mind, my power went out just as I was about to save the page. Some one else took care of it.--[[User:KHLDFS|KHLDFS]] 15:49, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

I swear Chris-chan will do anything for china and I mean anything. [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 15:08, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:Example of useless comment. Don't do that. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:06, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

Am I mistaken or does Chris scoff after "even that shocked Michael"? [[User:DirtyCrappedBriefs|DirtyCrappedBriefs]] 16:39, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

I know its not important, but Wes IseIi actually commented on Chris's video, and not surprisingly, he was unpleased with how Chris portrayed him in the comic - [[User:Ashki|Ashki]]
:"I know its not important..." THEN DON'T DO IT and it's not even the real wes i mean come on [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:06, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:In the totally unlikely event that it were the real Wes, and that someone could verify it, it would deserve mention in Wes Iseli's article, like Adam Stackhouse's reaction to Chris is mentioned in his. [[User:DirtyCrappedBriefs|DirtyCrappedBriefs]] 22:48, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:Not Wes, he has his own YouTube account (his is WesleyIseli, the fake one was just named Wesiseli) and he sticks to posting his magic show demonstrations on it. I believe most trolls have contacted him asking his opinions on the manchild, particularly the sarah/wes saga, but he prefers not to get into it. Most likely just some dumbass looking for attention. Let's not give him that attention here. Keep it off.--This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 00:45, 2 October 2010 (PDT). Thanks for reading!

== A couple of things ==

First of all, Chris STILL doesn't know why he was banned from the GAMe PLACe he just brings up the whole "Wii incident" he mentioned in his Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean and he doesn't say why what he did was wrong he almost like defended himself saying that he was helping the other Pokemon League Members get the two Pokemon.

Also, Chris and Jackie aren't in a relationship right? Chris fucked it up and probably realized that Jackie was the only organism in the universe that actually considered of letting Chris fuck her. So is he like trying to show her that he's grown up with the whole Xbox is okay video and this one? —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:PaperbackWriter|PaperbackWriter]] ([[User talk:PaperbackWriter|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/PaperbackWriter|contribs]]) 

:Please take discussions of this nature to one of these other [[Template:Not A Forum|Chris-related discussion locations]]. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:53, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

What do we know about his angry message that he wrote on the cardboard box? I bet it was lulzy. Any back story would really spruce up the article. [[User:DamianAntaria|DamianAntaria]] 19:27, 1 October 2010

:It's the thing about Michael Snyder loves Mary Lee Walsh. Can't link to it because I'm browsing on my cellphone, but it's mentioned in the first batch of Jackie emails, and I think someplace else too. --[[User:Silomentality|Silomentality]] 18:46, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

::Here is what he said:
{{quotebox|…I later wrote an angry note of "Michael loves the Fiddlesticks out of Mary Lee Walsh"; he took it as an offense, and banned me from "his" property…}}
::Note how Chris put the word “his” in “quotes.” --[[User:Riley_Martin|'''Uhh… this is Riley Martin.''' O-Qua Tangin Wann]] 20:29, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

== Chest ==

Holy cow, he looks really... endowed in this one. - [[User:LucidFox|LucidFox]] 03:38, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
:That shirt is all loosened out, but for some strange reason, it's extremely tight around the chest area. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 03:56, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
::I think he's just wearing a decent, by woman's standards, bra, so it's giving his manboobs shape to look like woman boobs, I think in this video, his manboobs are bigger then mine, and I'm supposed to be a D cup. --[[SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 11:15, 2 October 2010 (EST)

Talk:100 2261.MOV

2010-10-02T15:15:06Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Chest */

CWCki:General

2010-09-30T02:39:23Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Faithfulness */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

*[[CWCki:General/Archive 1|Archive 1]]

For discussion that doesn't fit into the other community pages - though do keep it related to the CWCki.

== Da update is used for Chris updates...but what about other updates? ==
For example, I don't think the Lucas video game pictures should be on the update, but it should be noteworthy. Should it placed in da update or no? Also if you're wondering what pictures, I'M WORKING ON IT. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:33, 9 September 2010 (PDT)
:Where should I stick the pictures? I uploaded them with Lucas commentary on them. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 12:42, 10 September 2010 (PDT)
::I think either the list of Chris's games article or the video games article. Leaning towards the video games article, if only because the list article is already pretty damned huge. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:07, 10 September 2010 (PDT)

== Image purge project ==
According to the Spongepedia (also hosted by dreamhost), 500 internal server error may be caused by TOO MANY IMAGES. In any case, I'm sick of seeing shitty images that do nothing to enhance articles as well. please tag images that are useless on their talk pages for deletion. kthx [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:45, 10 September 2010 (PDT)
*Based on what you told me about the Spongebob wiki, their problem was also due to image size. Perhaps if we work on resizing images down to less than 30kb?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:34, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
::Eh, the 500 errors are a configuration/setup issue. I highly doubt images are the root cause. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:44, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
:::No, it's a general agreed consensus that the 500 internal server error is occurring more often nowadays. It has to do with an increasing amount of SOMETHING. I'm going by this only lead right now. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:09, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
::::I mostly get 500 errors on pages that are large - that is - the body of text is large. Images really seem to have a negligible effect on whether a page 500's for me or not. We should think carefully about whether going about an image purge will largely be a wasted effort and/or do more harm than good towards error fixing (generating more edits - which may also form part of the problem). --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:06, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== Overlooked interview? ==

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed on the talk page for [[Chris-chan_Discusses...]], the subject of a previous interview was brought up, and Champ said he didn't want to put it on until they had a youtube version for it. A year later, someone did. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR_PrPHC2l0 The video doesn't have many views, and I don't believe it has an article for it. I'm not sure if any of this is relevant, but I wanted to draw attention to it in case it needs an article or some other mention.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 06:03, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== Chris and diligence article? ==

Christian's work ethics and his laziness are rightfully infamous, but there isn't an article dealing with it en detail. I'd make it myself but due to stress and my poor grasp of English I'd rather hear the opinions of others on it before making a crappy attempt. --[[User:Maximilian Graves|Maximilian Graves]] 07:58, 15 September 2010 (PDT)
** Strangely enough, I was thinking the same thing. Though with how lazy he is, the article would probably grow to be almost as large as the article on sex. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 21:04, 15 September 2010 (EST)

== My response to the site administrator. ==

Just a few days ago, a member of our forums decided to claim that we were involved in attacks on your wiki. We were notified by the administrator of your site on a locked topic supposedly thanking us for our actions placed on PSPownsYou (or PBML) and also requested action on another supposed participant named Level1isbest. I just want to point out that we have no intention of harming your site and that the involved parties are a bunch of fucking trolls, but then again every person on Newgrounds does it for the lulz, not including school shootings (Jeff Weise). Sorry for any inconvienence. [[User:Tateos|Tateos]] 16:25, 15 September 2010 (PDT)

==Chris and Morality Page==

Though his morality has been mentioned on several other pages, I think it would be best to have one page dedicated to his morality, or lack there-of, and where it comes from, mainly his ego. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 21:07, 15 September 2010 (EST)
: Frankly, if it's coming from his ego, it should be mentioned on the [[ego]] page. This is, however, unless there's enough to justify a major Chris and page.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 20:37, 15 September 2010 (PDT)
:: I don't really think Chris's morality needs its own page, as it would end up being a documentation of all the times he's been a horrible person (huge list), and all of the reasons behind it (troll speculation). These issues are already covered rather in depth on Chris's own page, the White Knighting page, the pages on Chris's Lies, Things Chris Has Ripped Off, Women's Rights, Homos etc. I feel a page purely about what a bad person he is is redundant (and self-evident besides). [[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 09:46, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

== so i did some spring cleaning today. ==
http://www.mediafire.com/?q6dsbzkgteqxpp6 - and then i realized it was autumn. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 17:44, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

:Does the great Clyde wish for these to be uploaded to their appropriate articles? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:49, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

::No, I want them to stay in this link forever and never be posted on the CWCki. Ever. EVER. This is the reason why I posted on the CWCki, to ensure that would happen. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:50, 19 September 2010 (PDT)

I was doing some spring cleaning too, little cuz! I was going through my emails and then suddenly i stumbled upon this pic of CWC that WallFlower gave to me awhile back! As The Ancient Hawaiians used to say: A clean coconut is a clean soul. http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/7886/cwcinkilt.jpg [[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 17:58, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

:lol at the Marge Simpson poster - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 19:23, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

== Tugboat icon I made for Donations ==

[[File:Tugboat_donate_icon.png]] Enjoy!
[[User:Shiny|Shiny]] 13:31, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
*Include your CWCki username with your donation and you'll receive a SPECIAL, LIMITED EDITION user box for your page and you'll receive a "si a pretty cool guy" quote from yours truly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:23, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

== Faithfulness ==
Is there an article on Chris and his faithfulness to his "sweethearts", cause I was just skimming through Sonichu 10 where he claims Blanca is his true and honest sweetheart, but he's married in the future to Lovely Weather and slept with her, not to mention Meg? And that's probably not the only example one could think of. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 22:31, 29 September 2010 (EST)

CWCki:General

2010-09-30T02:31:46Z

SerenityMoonstone:

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

*[[CWCki:General/Archive 1|Archive 1]]

For discussion that doesn't fit into the other community pages - though do keep it related to the CWCki.

== Da update is used for Chris updates...but what about other updates? ==
For example, I don't think the Lucas video game pictures should be on the update, but it should be noteworthy. Should it placed in da update or no? Also if you're wondering what pictures, I'M WORKING ON IT. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:33, 9 September 2010 (PDT)
:Where should I stick the pictures? I uploaded them with Lucas commentary on them. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 12:42, 10 September 2010 (PDT)
::I think either the list of Chris's games article or the video games article. Leaning towards the video games article, if only because the list article is already pretty damned huge. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:07, 10 September 2010 (PDT)

== Image purge project ==
According to the Spongepedia (also hosted by dreamhost), 500 internal server error may be caused by TOO MANY IMAGES. In any case, I'm sick of seeing shitty images that do nothing to enhance articles as well. please tag images that are useless on their talk pages for deletion. kthx [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:45, 10 September 2010 (PDT)
*Based on what you told me about the Spongebob wiki, their problem was also due to image size. Perhaps if we work on resizing images down to less than 30kb?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:34, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
::Eh, the 500 errors are a configuration/setup issue. I highly doubt images are the root cause. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:44, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
:::No, it's a general agreed consensus that the 500 internal server error is occurring more often nowadays. It has to do with an increasing amount of SOMETHING. I'm going by this only lead right now. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:09, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
::::I mostly get 500 errors on pages that are large - that is - the body of text is large. Images really seem to have a negligible effect on whether a page 500's for me or not. We should think carefully about whether going about an image purge will largely be a wasted effort and/or do more harm than good towards error fixing (generating more edits - which may also form part of the problem). --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:06, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== Overlooked interview? ==

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed on the talk page for [[Chris-chan_Discusses...]], the subject of a previous interview was brought up, and Champ said he didn't want to put it on until they had a youtube version for it. A year later, someone did. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR_PrPHC2l0 The video doesn't have many views, and I don't believe it has an article for it. I'm not sure if any of this is relevant, but I wanted to draw attention to it in case it needs an article or some other mention.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 06:03, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== Chris and diligence article? ==

Christian's work ethics and his laziness are rightfully infamous, but there isn't an article dealing with it en detail. I'd make it myself but due to stress and my poor grasp of English I'd rather hear the opinions of others on it before making a crappy attempt. --[[User:Maximilian Graves|Maximilian Graves]] 07:58, 15 September 2010 (PDT)
** Strangely enough, I was thinking the same thing. Though with how lazy he is, the article would probably grow to be almost as large as the article on sex. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 21:04, 15 September 2010 (EST)

== My response to the site administrator. ==

Just a few days ago, a member of our forums decided to claim that we were involved in attacks on your wiki. We were notified by the administrator of your site on a locked topic supposedly thanking us for our actions placed on PSPownsYou (or PBML) and also requested action on another supposed participant named Level1isbest. I just want to point out that we have no intention of harming your site and that the involved parties are a bunch of fucking trolls, but then again every person on Newgrounds does it for the lulz, not including school shootings (Jeff Weise). Sorry for any inconvienence. [[User:Tateos|Tateos]] 16:25, 15 September 2010 (PDT)

==Chris and Morality Page==

Though his morality has been mentioned on several other pages, I think it would be best to have one page dedicated to his morality, or lack there-of, and where it comes from, mainly his ego. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 21:07, 15 September 2010 (EST)
: Frankly, if it's coming from his ego, it should be mentioned on the [[ego]] page. This is, however, unless there's enough to justify a major Chris and page.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 20:37, 15 September 2010 (PDT)
:: I don't really think Chris's morality needs its own page, as it would end up being a documentation of all the times he's been a horrible person (huge list), and all of the reasons behind it (troll speculation). These issues are already covered rather in depth on Chris's own page, the White Knighting page, the pages on Chris's Lies, Things Chris Has Ripped Off, Women's Rights, Homos etc. I feel a page purely about what a bad person he is is redundant (and self-evident besides). [[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 09:46, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

== so i did some spring cleaning today. ==
http://www.mediafire.com/?q6dsbzkgteqxpp6 - and then i realized it was autumn. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 17:44, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

:Does the great Clyde wish for these to be uploaded to their appropriate articles? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:49, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

::No, I want them to stay in this link forever and never be posted on the CWCki. Ever. EVER. This is the reason why I posted on the CWCki, to ensure that would happen. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:50, 19 September 2010 (PDT)

I was doing some spring cleaning too, little cuz! I was going through my emails and then suddenly i stumbled upon this pic of CWC that WallFlower gave to me awhile back! As The Ancient Hawaiians used to say: A clean coconut is a clean soul. http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/7886/cwcinkilt.jpg [[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 17:58, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

:lol at the Marge Simpson poster - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 19:23, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

== Tugboat icon I made for Donations ==

[[File:Tugboat_donate_icon.png]] Enjoy!
[[User:Shiny|Shiny]] 13:31, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
*Include your CWCki username with your donation and you'll receive a SPECIAL, LIMITED EDITION user box for your page and you'll receive a "si a pretty cool guy" quote from yours truly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:23, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

== Faithfulness ==
Is there an article on Chris and his faithfulness to his "sweethearts", cause I was just skimming through Sonichu 10 where he claims Blanca is his true and honest sweetheart, but he's married in the future to Lovely Weather and slept with her? And that's probably not the only example one could think of. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 22:31, 29 September 2010 (EST)

Honor roll

2010-09-30T02:01:00Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Chris made the honor roll? */

[[Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|thumb|right|The white sash says Chris made the honor roll, but the slack-jawed stare says so much more.]]

{{quote|No solamente con ellos, pero con mis puntos de HONOR ROLL. ¡Bueño! [sic]|Ricardo Weston Chandler}}

{{quote| I AM HONOR ROLL!| [[Liquid Chris]]}}

{{quote|HONOR ROLL MY ASS|[[Vivian Gee]], [[Audiobooks]]}}
Chris's presence on the '''honor roll''' in high school is something he often brings up as evidence of his [[Slow-in-the-minds|intelligence]]. Despite his insistence to the contrary, Chris's past behavior and obvious gullibility, poor communication and self-delusion cast doubt on this claim.

==Where Chris has claimed Honor Roll status==
Chris has trumpeted his honor-roll status in a number of his documents and videos.

*In [[Sub-Episode 1]], Chris drops the honor-roll line in a post-script to his unsolicited follow-up email to [[Hanna]]. Because the girl who just trolled your heart down to 15% will flip for you if you're on the honor roll.
*In his [[Miyamoto_Saga|e-mails to Shigeru Miyamoto]], he apparently thought making the honor roll would impress a world-renowned game designer.
*Likewise, he mentioned the honor roll early in his [[Blanca E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Blanca]].
*The honor roll gets a shout-out in the lyrics to "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]" by [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]].
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia biography]] prominently mentioned the honor roll.
*In his [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|Asperger's rant]], Chris cited making the honor roll as one of many ways in which he overcame the obstacles presented by his autism.
*In his [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|first public plea for understanding on YouTube]], Chris mentioned the honor roll in passing.
*Chris's first [[OkCupid]] profile from February 2009 announces that he made the honor roll.
*In [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]], Chris bragged about his "honor roll points" as one of the many qualities that apparently set him apart from [[Liquid Chris]].
*In response, Liquid Chris picked up the honor-roll catchphrase himself, using it in one of their arguments over the phone.
*In the [[Autism Awareness E-mails]], Chris mentioned making the honor roll as one reason why he did not need a caretaker or other supervision.

==Chris made the honor roll?==
In Chris's graduation pictures from both high school and college, he is wearing a sash that generally indicates graduating with honors. This only means so much without additional context, though. Depending on his school's standards for who winds up on the honor roll, it may not represent that impressive an achievement, especially if Chris was able to rack up the required grade point average with remedial course work instead of normal classes. In some schools, the only requirement is a minimum GPA, so anyone with a GPA of, say, 3.5, is on the honor roll, even if every single course was a remedial course. For what it's worth, the psychiatrist who conducted Chris's [[autism papers|intake survey]] in 2004 noted that Chris took regular classes in high school, but he may have only had Chris's word for that. It's also noted that often times with honor roll, it's not hard to get honor roll if you have done all your homework and class work and did adequate on tests, even in a normal class setting. So, A in homework, and C in tests, MIGHT average to the B area, at least enough to be considered in the honor roll.

On the other hand, it's not completely out of the question to consider that Chris might have been able to get decent grades in school. His emotional and social issues have always made judging his actual intelligence a little tricky. In "[[Song of Christian]]", he is enraged to receive an "F" in English, suggesting that he usually got good grades, and also rages ''I mean, I started off with an "A" and you just lowered it, lowered, lowered it!"'', indicating that he initially made good grades in the class, but for one reason or another, they slipped into "F"'s before long.

Chris's basic cognitive functions work fine, as the 2004 psychiatric survey confirmed, and in some respects he seems to be no less intellectually capable than many ordinary people. He has a reasonable facility with [[computers]] and technology, for instance. At the same time, his laziness, naïveté, egotism and raging hormones have obviously led him to ever-increasing depths of self-destructively foolish behavior. The Miyamoto saga offers an interesting example of this contrast: Chris was bright enough to eventually work out that the e-mails he received from "Miyamoto" came from an easily-spoofed domain...but then if he weren't so blinded by his ego, he would never have believed that Nintendo was interested in his shitty knockoff character in the first place.

So, is Chris too stupid to have made the honor roll? Maybe. Is Chris too gullible, arrogant, and led about by his [[duck]] to function in real life? Definitely.

One would think that all Chris needs to do is to post his grades in order to end the doubts to his alleged intelligence. Sadly, according to [[Mailbag 19]], Chris's report card papers are said to be locked away beyond his reach (which could mean a number of things - they could be locked away, buried under the piles of shit that litter his house or <s>he doesn't have them anymore and he doesn't want to reveal that to others</s> he's just too lazy to get up and find them), we may never know the truth until something finally snaps and he's able to get them. On the other hand, he's probably had them all along, and would never reveal them because they prove that he's the dumbfuck we know him to be.

Contradictorily, Chris also claims that the grades testifying to honor roll status are a matter of [[Mailbag 21#When you're 27, nobody really cares about your high school report cards|public record]], but was too lazy to procure them himself. [[Trolls|Those]] who have (or desire) access to the Chesterfield County Public Schools hall of records should take note; transcripts are not too difficult to obtain.

==See also==
* [[Manchester High School]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: Chris-chan]]
[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Talk:Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV

2010-09-26T12:19:34Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Chris fails with comedy again... */

{{Not A Forum}}
Slugged in a transcription, couldn't make out one part though. /r/ help with "And today was our anniversary this 25th of September b... OH NO! What's that? A <site pert?>? Aaaah!!". It looks like another boat or a pier or something. [[User:Mupkids|Mupkids]] 16:32, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

== T-shirt ==

The t-shirt isn't plain white. It has some red logo/writing on it, which is most visible near the end of the video. Kudos to anyone able to work it out. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:59, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
:It says Brick Fest 2005 or 2006, June 9-17, and a URL at the bottom. Seems like some promotional item for Lego. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 16:08, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
::It is from 2000, I'm pretty sure near the end you can clearly see "000" after the fold in this shirt. [http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/kl/brickfest/tshirts/front-detail.jpg closeup of what it probably says,] [http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/kl/brickfest/tshirts/front.jpg front], [http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/kl/brickfest/tshirts/back.jpg back]. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:13, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
:::[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BrickFest BrickFest] is an unofficial LEGO convention which is usually held in Virginia - I guess this is another convention that Chris has attended.--[[User:BADavid|BADavid]] 16:14, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
::::Although in this case, the shirt Chris is wearing has "Washington" written on it (I saw it at around 50 seconds+). --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:18, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

::::Comic sans logo fail --[[User:Bentduck|Bentduck]] 17:22, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
And I thought Chris couldn't sink any lower.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 16:26, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

==New hairdo==
It would seem that Chris has resorted to just letting his hair grow out to hide his receding hairline. Think this may be because of his new sweetheart or because everyone keeps mentioning it? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 17:41, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

== Sweethearts ==

Did Chris mean his current sweetheart in this video or one of his past ones? He normally means an actual girlfriend when discussing sweethearts; he said nothing about Gal-pal. I'm wondering who this was meant for. [[User:MissRadioactive|MissRadioactive]] 17:54, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
:He says " Who is now Chris's girlfriend!" so it must be Jackie. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 18:00, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
::That's what I was thinking. Good find. [[User:MissRadioactive|MissRadioactive]] 19:09, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

== Picture ==
Added a little picture of Chris's mug from the beginning of the video. It shows more of his horrible aging. Someone do me a favor and add a better caption to it because mine sucks. [[User:Magi-chan|Magi-chan]] 18:06, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
:This has some real potential for good reaction images. Here are some: http://imgur.com/a/yv37e/on_a_boat find moar plox --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 00:16, 26 September 2010 (PDT)

==New Glasses?==
Is it just me, or do those frames look shinier than usual? Maybe it's the rare inclusion of sunlight in his room, but still...--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 18:27, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
:I noticed that as well but a cursory check of recent videos indicate it's just the sunlight, which no doubt was making Chris's skin smoke and blister by the end of the video. [[User:Blusko|Blusko]] 03:04, 26 September 2010 (PDT)

== What was that at the end? ==

I heard a faint voice at the tail end of the video. I think it was Barb saying "Hello" to Chris. Did anyone hear that, too? --vofdoom38, 18:33, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

Nice catch. Added a little bit to the transcript.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 18:39, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

== Chris fails with comedy again... ==

Chris' actions in this video seem to be a failed use of "Tragedy+time=comedy" toward insulting <s>Troll X</s> Jackie's old boyfriend. Of course, the Titanic is still a bit too soon, showing how Chris can't even follow comedic formulations.

Also, goddamn, his camera is yellowing the video big time. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:14, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

: "The consequences will never be the same" and Chris's smugness lead me to think he didn't mean this to be funny at all. --[[User:MissRadioactive|MissRadioactive]] 19:36, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

:: My guess is that Jackie specifically requested that he use that line. [[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 20:36, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

::: I don't think he was trying to be funny, I think he considers this a serious threat. [[SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 8:19, 26 September 2010 (EST)

Talk:XBox is OK.MOV

2010-09-14T01:42:50Z

SerenityMoonstone:

Guess I'll take a stab at transcribing DIS BITCH. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 14:53, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

What the Fuck is this? Is Chris a "Changed Man"? [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 14:54, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

:Right, cause we've never seen this before. Adding links to this is going to be annoying....--[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 15:15, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

:: The only time he ever mentions that he doesn't hate gays is if it will get him china.--[[User:Monkeytacoz|Monkeytacoz]] 15:29, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

::: His new "sweetheart" probably has a gay brother/sister/dog, a Xbox and told him it is a big no-no to wish people their collective doom (and probably that he should get rid of some vidya). So the manchild follows the prospect of china and does another "I WAS NICE ALL ALONG" video like he did so many times before. --[[User:Derpalerp|Derpalerp]] 16:08, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

:::: Ten bucks says this is related to Jackie somehow. I can feel it. [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 16:14, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

::::: Considering this and the Jakie video was uploaded in the same day? But yes, likely Jackie is in support of gay rights and decided to try and do damage control. --[[User: SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 21:01, 13 September 2010 (EST)

Does no one else hear his massive fucking fart at 1:06? Or is that noise something else? --[[User:Mgi|Mgi]] 18:15, 13 September 2010 (PDT)
: And again at 1:40 --[[User:Mgi|Mgi]] 18:19, 13 September 2010 (PDT)
::Sounds more like something that would have came form the TV, or one of the cats that has lots its way into the Chandler home. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 21:42, 13 September 2010 (EST)

Talk:Jackie

2010-09-14T01:38:01Z

SerenityMoonstone:

tl;dr: This woman decided to contact us and wants to tell other women not to go out with chris. she doesn't know how the wiki shit works so just like...i'm handling it for now. so yeah. okay. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 04:23, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

and apparently now she's back with chris for some reason. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 14:35, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

* I'm assuming this is the same woman as in the Jackie e-mails, right? - [[User:Boop|Boop]] 15:24, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

Wasn't the Jackie page deleted sometime ago between the 6th and now while we were trying to figure it out. Or am I forgetting the origonal name? --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 21:37, 13 September 2010.

Talk:XBox is OK.MOV

2010-09-14T01:02:03Z

SerenityMoonstone:

Women's rights

2010-09-13T21:08:46Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Background */

[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|[[Chris]] giving the thumbs up (and two fingers) to women's rights.]]
[[Image:Motivator8532911.jpg|thumb|left|[[Chris]] appreciating a woman's right to take off their clothes and be seen as objects.]]

'''Women's rights''', at least in [[Chris's]] mind, refer to the right of women to take their clothes off in protest of being drawn with [[pickles]].

Given his admitted love of the 1964 classic ''[[Mary Poppins]]'', he presumably stole the concept from the character of Mrs. Banks, who is a suffragette in 1910 England.<ref>Lyrics from ''The Life I Lead'': "It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910 / King Edward's on the throne / It's the age of men!"</ref> Of course, Chris wouldn't have the first idea of what "women's suffrage" was, let alone the impact it had on world history, and why it was being shown in the movie in the first place.

==Basis in the film Mary Poppins==

[[Image:Ss03.jpg|thumb|right|Mrs. Banks, wearing the "Votes for Women" sash that Chris so blatantly mis-interpreted.]]
[[Image:Suffragette.jpg|thumb|left|Sir Isaacs justifies violence? Who could have such horrible objections to a woman's right to [[Hanky-Panky]]?]]

His extreme zeal for "women's rights" probably comes from a Mrs. Banks, the mother of Jane & Michael. As the story is set in early 20th century England, women do not yet have the right to vote. Mrs. Banks is the first character we see in the film proper, and she also sings the first song, ''Sister Suffragette'', during which she mentions [[Wikipedia:Emmeline_Pankhurst|Emmeline Pankhurst]] being arrested (again).<ref>"Take heart! For Missus Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again!</ref>

Mrs. Banks and her friends were depicted as struggling for the greater cause of being treated as an equal, with the same rights and treatment. But Chris takes it to mean they simply want to remove their clothes and fuck.

==Background==
[[Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|thumb|The very essence of femininity, according to Chris. How else are we supposed to interpret this?]]
[[Image:SchuComic9P35.jpg|thumb|left|Things going on in Chris's head: "Ooh, let's make a fan comic of Ze German Wasching Machine porn film. Wait, that'd make me look like a sexist jerk. Let's add a disclaimer. There! It's all peachy now!"]]

It is obvious that Chris is ''aware'' of the idea that objectifying women is frowned upon; every time he makes his female characters use their feminine qualities (to put it altogether too mildly), he is quick to add a disclaimer that he respects the women for ''both'' their minds and bodies, and/or make the claim that the characters are doing it because they want to fight for the women's rights. However, due to his [[autism|mental block]], he fails to understand what the society would consider a correct course of action, to wit, not objectify the women in the first place, and that disclaimers like these won't alleviate the fact that he's doing something that is considered inappropriate. In short, "[[Chris and hypocrisy|do as I say, not as I do]]."

Instead, Chris allows himself to be controlled by his own desires, and has soaked in all sorts of knowledge about women primarily from [[anime]], video games, and in particular pornography, last of which Chris considers "educational". He has had several problems realizing the difference between exaggerated stereotypes and the reality, as also evidenced by his [[racism|racist remarks]].

[[Image:Needs more cleavage.jpg|thumb|Christian Weston Chandler: Fighting for women's rights, every chance he gets.]]

Chris's most prominent reference to women's rights occurs at the end of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' in [[Episode 17]], in which the [[Rosechu (species)|rosechus]] of [[CWCville]] strip to celebrate their victory over [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and assert their dominance over [[4-cent garbage.com]].

Chris's understanding of women's rights demonstrates how entrenched his stereotypical view of women truly is. While not outwardly misogynistic, Chris nevertheless has a view that true liberation for women involves their being able to strip without interference, and to be interpreted as women without pickles.

For Chris, the truest expression of a woman's freedom is to strip. More tellingly, the truest expression of a woman's freedom is to strip and produce erotic artwork for a male audience. Chris subtly admits that women possess a great deal of power over him; in his mind, they are truly able to exercise their complete freedom in society when given the right to fully exploit what gives them power - their chinas, tits, and asses. True women's liberation does not involve the treatment of women as equals, but rather opens up avenues for half of the population to finally get the chance to exploit the other half.

Despite their phenomenal talent for fighting evil, Chris depicts rosechus as passive sexual toys for sonichus. Reflecting Chris's own distorted image of women, the rosechus in his comics tend to exhibit a desire to engage in stereotypical behavior, with occasional aggressive sexual overtures. Women play the role of deus ex machina in Chris's comics - occasionally leaving their role as supporting characters to engage in acts of great bravery and heroism. This mindset is painfully obvious in Chris's interaction with women during his [[love quest]]. Chris takes on a passive role in his attraction strategy, waiting to be approached by women who he thinks will take interest in his appearance. Chris essentially is looking for a [[Barbara Chandler|maternal figure]] in his life (paging Dr. Freud). Rather than aiming to better himself, he is looking to be fulfilled and served by women. Rather than having the full potential to use their talents in society, women's rights are the rights of women to bring pleasure to men as Chris sees fit.

When occasionally confronted with his sexism, Chris becomes extremely indignant and offended (as seen in the [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|White Knight E-mails]]). When his sexism is pointed out he gets upset and clarifies that he would never harm a woman (though he has no problem [[Death threats#Vivian Gee|threatening them]]). Chris seems to be under the impression that "sexism" basically means "physical abuse," and can't process the idea that treating women as sexual objects obsessed with shopping is still a form of sexism if not the definition (in addition to with and other factors).

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Talk:Autism Awareness E-mails

2010-09-13T16:02:13Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Lori is a troll */

Oh boy. Clyde, where did you ever get this pile of gold?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:12, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

This is the purest example of Chris's "Mental Block" capabilities. The line "This Fact is My Idea" is quite precious and proves us that Chris got no clue where his Ego end and reality starts. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 18:37, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

== What's the source? ==

There's no adequate explanation here of how or why this exchange began. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:StarryNight|StarryNight]] ([[User talk:StarryNight|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/StarryNight|contribs]]) 

*The Autism Awareness people put up a bunch of ads for Autism Awareness Month and one of those sites happened to be the CWCipedia. Chris decided to put up his own version of the ad disregarding the link between Autism and Aspergers. One of the friendly volunteers decided to e-mail Chris about it. There's the story. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 09:51, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
*Also, sign your posts. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 10:57, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
**Maybe we should start bugging him on Landau-Kleffner syndrome now. Add a little variety to the mix. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 12:15, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
***I think I actually saved his altered autisim awareness ad. Hold on, I'll dig em up.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 14:08, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
***So is it too early to create a page on Landau Kleffner syndrome? May as well do some research while nothing else is going on.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 06:43, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
****Do we have any armchair psychologists on the Cwcki? I have a friend with a degree in Psych and he may know more about the syndrome, he's seen vids on Chris so he kind of knows how Chris operates. Should I contact him? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 16:45, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
*****I've been following Chris from afar for a while now, and I'd be happy to offer some psychological insight if you guys would be into that. Usual disclaimers apply: I am not here in a professional capacity; please do not consider any statement to take the place of professional counselling; statements do not represent an actual diagnosis; do not taunt Happy Fun Ball; yada-yada. --[[User:ArmchairShrink|ArmchairShrink]] 18:52, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*This has also been in the mailbag if I'm not mistaken. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 14:14, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
*Landau-Kleffner sounds pretty feasible to me as being what Chris actually has. There are two kinds of things in the Autism article right now; Autism as a part of Chris's identity and evidence that Chris is genuinely autistic. I think Column A is what the Austism article becomes and Column B is the Landau-Kleffner Syndrome paysh. That's how I see it. [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 04:08, 24 May 2010 (UTC)

== "Firstly, it was my pleasure to help" ==

Did Chris really pull that from out of nowhere in regards to Lori's letter, or was something removed from the original before posting here? --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 18:23, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
:I think this comment came from Chris's misunderstanding use of the like of "Thank you for your time". Let's remember, he's not that good with societal norms (It's 'tard Logic). [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 18:37, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
::I think the subject was missing. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:26, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

==Asperger and Autism merger?==
Is this merging Asperger into Autism really happening? and if it is, and aspergers is merged into autism (assuming it hasn't already), will their be Ads in Chris's wiki to rub it in his face (assuming this happens this year)? I'm guessing when this happens, Asperger will technically be no more (and I'm also guessing that Chris will think he wiped it out, and be happy about it... until he learned what happened to aspergers). [[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 05:48, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
*Either that, or Chris will see it as the blasphemous aspergers people stealing autistics' light by claiming to be autistic... because they're better, or something [[User:Magic8Ball|Magic8Ball]] 06:57, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
:*It is happening, my psychologist friend confirmed it. We can always push that on Chris and get him to rage about his condition and Aspergers being the same thing. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 16:48, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
::*Yes, they're moving up to DSM-V (the diagnosis manual for mental illnesses and other disorders) and one of the proposed changes is that Asperger's would be classified as a mild form of autism instead of a distinct syndrome. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:02, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

== Seriously... ==

Chris is soooooo stupid. He could've taken Ms. Lori's offer of assisting him in finding a caretaker and requested one that is female, young, and attractive.--[[User:Rockman|Rockman]] 09:26, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
:If that were to happen Chris wouldn't be the driving force in the relationship, the carer would be in a position of power over him. Also, NOT A FORUM. GTFO [[User:Menth|Menth]] 02:58, 18 May 2010 (UTC)

== Lori is a troll ==

Why are people taking this seriously and treating Lori as if she actually is an Autism awareness volunteer? For as far as I know there is no evidence to substantiate this claim; Lori is just another troll. I mean, god dammit guys, stop being as gullible as Chris. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 19:04, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*This. AA is a legit organisation that would never let anyone associated with their name offer unsolicited communication or help. If Lori's real, she's unemployed now. --[[User:ArmchairShrink|ArmchairShrink]] 21:06, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
**Because AA would allow someone to vandalize one of their ads (especially with something so offensive) without so much as 1 letter or e-mail? --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 12:01, 13 September 2010 (EST)

Talk:Autism Awareness E-mails

2010-09-13T16:02:04Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Lori is a troll */

Oh boy. Clyde, where did you ever get this pile of gold?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:12, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

This is the purest example of Chris's "Mental Block" capabilities. The line "This Fact is My Idea" is quite precious and proves us that Chris got no clue where his Ego end and reality starts. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 18:37, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

== What's the source? ==

There's no adequate explanation here of how or why this exchange began. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:StarryNight|StarryNight]] ([[User talk:StarryNight|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/StarryNight|contribs]]) 

*The Autism Awareness people put up a bunch of ads for Autism Awareness Month and one of those sites happened to be the CWCipedia. Chris decided to put up his own version of the ad disregarding the link between Autism and Aspergers. One of the friendly volunteers decided to e-mail Chris about it. There's the story. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 09:51, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
*Also, sign your posts. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 10:57, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
**Maybe we should start bugging him on Landau-Kleffner syndrome now. Add a little variety to the mix. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 12:15, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
***I think I actually saved his altered autisim awareness ad. Hold on, I'll dig em up.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 14:08, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
***So is it too early to create a page on Landau Kleffner syndrome? May as well do some research while nothing else is going on.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 06:43, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
****Do we have any armchair psychologists on the Cwcki? I have a friend with a degree in Psych and he may know more about the syndrome, he's seen vids on Chris so he kind of knows how Chris operates. Should I contact him? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 16:45, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
*****I've been following Chris from afar for a while now, and I'd be happy to offer some psychological insight if you guys would be into that. Usual disclaimers apply: I am not here in a professional capacity; please do not consider any statement to take the place of professional counselling; statements do not represent an actual diagnosis; do not taunt Happy Fun Ball; yada-yada. --[[User:ArmchairShrink|ArmchairShrink]] 18:52, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*This has also been in the mailbag if I'm not mistaken. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 14:14, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
*Landau-Kleffner sounds pretty feasible to me as being what Chris actually has. There are two kinds of things in the Autism article right now; Autism as a part of Chris's identity and evidence that Chris is genuinely autistic. I think Column A is what the Austism article becomes and Column B is the Landau-Kleffner Syndrome paysh. That's how I see it. [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 04:08, 24 May 2010 (UTC)

== "Firstly, it was my pleasure to help" ==

Did Chris really pull that from out of nowhere in regards to Lori's letter, or was something removed from the original before posting here? --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 18:23, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
:I think this comment came from Chris's misunderstanding use of the like of "Thank you for your time". Let's remember, he's not that good with societal norms (It's 'tard Logic). [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 18:37, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
::I think the subject was missing. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:26, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

==Asperger and Autism merger?==
Is this merging Asperger into Autism really happening? and if it is, and aspergers is merged into autism (assuming it hasn't already), will their be Ads in Chris's wiki to rub it in his face (assuming this happens this year)? I'm guessing when this happens, Asperger will technically be no more (and I'm also guessing that Chris will think he wiped it out, and be happy about it... until he learned what happened to aspergers). [[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 05:48, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
*Either that, or Chris will see it as the blasphemous aspergers people stealing autistics' light by claiming to be autistic... because they're better, or something [[User:Magic8Ball|Magic8Ball]] 06:57, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
:*It is happening, my psychologist friend confirmed it. We can always push that on Chris and get him to rage about his condition and Aspergers being the same thing. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 16:48, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
::*Yes, they're moving up to DSM-V (the diagnosis manual for mental illnesses and other disorders) and one of the proposed changes is that Asperger's would be classified as a mild form of autism instead of a distinct syndrome. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:02, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

== Seriously... ==

Chris is soooooo stupid. He could've taken Ms. Lori's offer of assisting him in finding a caretaker and requested one that is female, young, and attractive.--[[User:Rockman|Rockman]] 09:26, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
:If that were to happen Chris wouldn't be the driving force in the relationship, the carer would be in a position of power over him. Also, NOT A FORUM. GTFO [[User:Menth|Menth]] 02:58, 18 May 2010 (UTC)

== Lori is a troll ==

Why are people taking this seriously and treating Lori as if she actually is an Autism awareness volunteer? For as far as I know there is no evidence to substantiate this claim; Lori is just another troll. I mean, god dammit guys, stop being as gullible as Chris. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 19:04, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*This. AA is a legit organisation that would never let anyone associated with their name offer unsolicited communication or help. If Lori's real, she's unemployed now. --[[User:ArmchairShrink|ArmchairShrink]] 21:06, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

**Because AA would allow someone to vandalize one of their ads (especially with something so offensive) without so much as 1 letter or e-mail? --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 12:01, 13 September 2010 (EST)

Talk:Autism Awareness E-mails

2010-09-13T16:01:16Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Lori is a troll */

Oh boy. Clyde, where did you ever get this pile of gold?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:12, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

This is the purest example of Chris's "Mental Block" capabilities. The line "This Fact is My Idea" is quite precious and proves us that Chris got no clue where his Ego end and reality starts. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 18:37, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

== What's the source? ==

There's no adequate explanation here of how or why this exchange began. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:StarryNight|StarryNight]] ([[User talk:StarryNight|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/StarryNight|contribs]]) 

*The Autism Awareness people put up a bunch of ads for Autism Awareness Month and one of those sites happened to be the CWCipedia. Chris decided to put up his own version of the ad disregarding the link between Autism and Aspergers. One of the friendly volunteers decided to e-mail Chris about it. There's the story. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 09:51, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
*Also, sign your posts. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 10:57, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
**Maybe we should start bugging him on Landau-Kleffner syndrome now. Add a little variety to the mix. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 12:15, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
***I think I actually saved his altered autisim awareness ad. Hold on, I'll dig em up.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 14:08, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
***So is it too early to create a page on Landau Kleffner syndrome? May as well do some research while nothing else is going on.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 06:43, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
****Do we have any armchair psychologists on the Cwcki? I have a friend with a degree in Psych and he may know more about the syndrome, he's seen vids on Chris so he kind of knows how Chris operates. Should I contact him? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 16:45, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
*****I've been following Chris from afar for a while now, and I'd be happy to offer some psychological insight if you guys would be into that. Usual disclaimers apply: I am not here in a professional capacity; please do not consider any statement to take the place of professional counselling; statements do not represent an actual diagnosis; do not taunt Happy Fun Ball; yada-yada. --[[User:ArmchairShrink|ArmchairShrink]] 18:52, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*This has also been in the mailbag if I'm not mistaken. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 14:14, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
*Landau-Kleffner sounds pretty feasible to me as being what Chris actually has. There are two kinds of things in the Autism article right now; Autism as a part of Chris's identity and evidence that Chris is genuinely autistic. I think Column A is what the Austism article becomes and Column B is the Landau-Kleffner Syndrome paysh. That's how I see it. [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 04:08, 24 May 2010 (UTC)

== "Firstly, it was my pleasure to help" ==

Did Chris really pull that from out of nowhere in regards to Lori's letter, or was something removed from the original before posting here? --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 18:23, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
:I think this comment came from Chris's misunderstanding use of the like of "Thank you for your time". Let's remember, he's not that good with societal norms (It's 'tard Logic). [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 18:37, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
::I think the subject was missing. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:26, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

==Asperger and Autism merger?==
Is this merging Asperger into Autism really happening? and if it is, and aspergers is merged into autism (assuming it hasn't already), will their be Ads in Chris's wiki to rub it in his face (assuming this happens this year)? I'm guessing when this happens, Asperger will technically be no more (and I'm also guessing that Chris will think he wiped it out, and be happy about it... until he learned what happened to aspergers). [[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 05:48, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
*Either that, or Chris will see it as the blasphemous aspergers people stealing autistics' light by claiming to be autistic... because they're better, or something [[User:Magic8Ball|Magic8Ball]] 06:57, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
:*It is happening, my psychologist friend confirmed it. We can always push that on Chris and get him to rage about his condition and Aspergers being the same thing. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 16:48, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
::*Yes, they're moving up to DSM-V (the diagnosis manual for mental illnesses and other disorders) and one of the proposed changes is that Asperger's would be classified as a mild form of autism instead of a distinct syndrome. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:02, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

== Seriously... ==

Chris is soooooo stupid. He could've taken Ms. Lori's offer of assisting him in finding a caretaker and requested one that is female, young, and attractive.--[[User:Rockman|Rockman]] 09:26, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
:If that were to happen Chris wouldn't be the driving force in the relationship, the carer would be in a position of power over him. Also, NOT A FORUM. GTFO [[User:Menth|Menth]] 02:58, 18 May 2010 (UTC)

== Lori is a troll ==

Why are people taking this seriously and treating Lori as if she actually is an Autism awareness volunteer? For as far as I know there is no evidence to substantiate this claim; Lori is just another troll. I mean, god dammit guys, stop being as gullible as Chris. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 19:04, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*This. AA is a legit organisation that would never let anyone associated with their name offer unsolicited communication or help. If Lori's real, she's unemployed now. --[[User:ArmchairShrink|ArmchairShrink]] 21:06, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

** Because AA would allow someone to vandalize one of their ads (especially with something so offensive) without so much as 1 letter or e-mail? --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 12:01, 13 September 2010 (EST)

Autism Awareness E-mails

2010-09-13T15:58:00Z

SerenityMoonstone:

{{Quote|We were unable to contact his parents and legally we can not force [[Christian]] to do anything as long as he is able to speak on his own. We are concerned that he may be a danger to himself and others so we would like to let that be known.|Lori's message to the [[CWCki]].}}
[[File:AAmonth.png|thumb|left|The Autism Awareness ad...]]
[[File:AAmonthChris.jpg|thumb|...and Chris's bastardized version.]]
On 16 [[May 2010]] the [[CWCki]] was forwarded a bunch of e-mails from a volunteer worker for [[Autism]] Awareness. They were wondering if he was faking his illness or if he was misdiagnosed.

These messages began in [[April 2010]] when the powers that be purchased an ad for autism awareness on the [[CWCipedia]]. Chris, as expected, was deeply offended by the advertisement's assertion that [[Aspergers]] was a form of autism, and quickly made his own version of the ad. While a normal [[Chris and Censorship|censor]] would have simply removed the offending phrase, Chris went on to make it blindingly obvious that he was tampering with the ad by adding a hate-fueled mini rant about how the two are completely different. Chris is an idiot.

This tampering prompted Lori, a volunteer worker, to send Chris a few e-mails, in a well-meaning attempt to correct him. When it became clear to her that Chris is completely insane, she began inquiring about Chris's ability to take care of himself. Chris, being unable to deal with [[reality]], quit responding when Lori got around to the fact that Chris lives with his parents and has never held a stable job.

==The Letters==

{{Email|Just to correct you on some misinformation however. [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's]] and Autism are actually in the same neurotypical spectrum set of disorders. Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism are very similar and in the new upcoming DSM-V, the classification between separating the two will actually be gone. The two will become known as mild forms of autism. Thank you for your time!

- Lori}}

{{EmailReply|Firstly, it was my pleasure to help. Second, I DISAGREE, and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|I personally DO NOT CARE FOR "Aspergers" AT ALL]]. People think Aspergers should STEAL the Reputation that Autism has earned over the number of years; I THINK NOT. Do not get me started with Aspergers; it is my 2nd Least Favorite Word Ever (the First being [[Naive]]).

And I do not give a c*** about what "Scientists" may or may not have found there either. IN MY VIEW, Aspergers IS NOT Autism.

Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{Email|No one thinks that that people with Asperger's is trying to steal the reputation from Autism, where did hear this information? Both disorders are in the same spectrum and people with both Asperger's and Autism should be joined together to look for the cure and to make people more aware of both disorders. In fact, Hans Asperger, the discoverer of Asperger's, did not know about High-Functioning Autism when he coined that term. This is why the DSM-V is going to correct this decades old mistake.

Again, I want to thank you for your help, but we would like to change your information to reflect what is actually happening in the world of Autism.

- Lori}}

{{EmailReply|For your information, the [[Chris and reality|Fact]] of Aspergers being different from Autism and of it trying to steal the light is of MY Own Idea. I will NEVER conform to such a [[Chris and religion|blasphemous]] link of any kind between the two. And I am certainly not going to change the image's text.

Those with Aspergers are welcome to find their own cure; just denounce any so-called links between it and Autism, or NEVER bring it up around me ever again.

Christian.}}

{{Email|You are going about this all wrong, Christian. Where did you get the idea that people with Asperger's are trying to "steal the light" from Autistics? I have never heard of this before.

- Lori}}

{{Email|We are a little concerned about you Christian. May we have the e-mail of your caretaker? We would like to talk to them.

- Lori}}

{{EmailReply|Caretaker? ROFL Obviously you have not read my Bio page on the Cwcipedia; I NEVER had a caretaker, unless you count my mother and father. I have been Mainstreamed; GREW UP within NORMAL SOCIETY during my School Days.

And I think I NEED TO REPEAT MYSELF HERE, the opinions that I have shared of the Aspergers are MY OWN ONLY; I WAS NOT INFLUENCED BY ANYONE ELSE TO HAVE THAT OPINION. It Is and Was MY Opinion From The Start There.

And if you want to speak to my parents, you'll have to CALL them; they do not have e-mail. And also, I AM Twenty-Eight Years Old.

Sincerely,
Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{Email|We are wondering why you formed this opinion. It is very concerning to us that you have such a negative view of Asperger's and Autism. We are also very concerned that you do not have a caretaker. We are currently reading your biography and it states that you lost the ability to speak for many years. We think you may have been misdiagnosed. You may have Landau-Kleffner syndrome which is commonly mistaken for Autism. You may read more about it here:

[[Wikipedia:Landau–Kleffner syndrome|Landau Kleffner syndrome]]

We will attempt to speak to your parents about attaining a caretaker.

- Lori}}

{{EmailReply|I have a negative view only on Aspergers. I have a positive view on Autism. I do NOT need a caretaker; I am capable of taking care of myself. I am 28 years old with a High School Diploma, a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design ([[CADD]]), and my grades were on [[Honor Roll]] throughout, and I made the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Dean]]'s List at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]].}}

{{Email|Are you currently self-sufficient? Do you have a job? Are you living on your own?

We highly implore you to get a caretaker if you answered no to any of these questions. We can assist you in finding one.

Asperger's and Autism are in the same spectrum of disorders, the severity of Autism is the only difference. You say you have high-functioning Autism which is the same as Asperger's, there is no reason to hate a name.

- Lori}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Talk:Haters Gonna Hate.MOV

2010-09-08T05:18:27Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Case? */

Trying to transcribe...having trouble--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:22, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
- Disregard that I suck cocks, I can't even refresh the page without lagging out.--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:46, 6 September 2010 (PDT)--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:46, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
* I have TRANSCRIBED DIS BITCH. Mostly. Rest easy. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 09:54, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

Pfft, Chris is using his DEEP SCARY VOICE OOOOOOO -[[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 09:47, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==PS3==
I broke the page, sorry, but guess what I found. [[User:Ash link|Ash link]] 10:01, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==Case?==
Chris said he was keeping the PStripple case as a memento, is that a console or the case on the shelf? Keep in mind, I dont' know anything about Playstation 3 cases. --[[User:Fearfulsymmetry|Fearfulsymmetry]] 10:19, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

For a second I thought it might be a ps3 slim with the old faceplate leaned against it, but after comparing videos - it looks exactly the same as the old one pretty much...did he get a used old fat ps3? perhaps on ebay? any recent activity on ebay? is it possible the one he crushed really was a decoy? [[User:Superwoman|Superwoman]] 10:40, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:Trollin' Train thinks the new one is a refurbished one from GameStop. Sounds believable. --[[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 00:48, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

It looks like the one he made out of Pixelblocks. Anyways, if he had bought a new PS3, why would he have it on a shelf? [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 11:31, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

Quick question. Chris used to shoot his old videos with the PSEye, which I'm assuming requires a PS3 to use. If he has indeed broken dead the PS3, how is he shooting this video? A case for CWC getting a new PS3, perhaps? [[User:Pickle Monster|Pickle Monster]] 21:27, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:The PSEye has been dead for a very long time. He's using a handheld camcorder now. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 21:47, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
Whatever it is, it's in the same place as the old one as seen in [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]]. --[[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 16:18, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

That thing is actually in most of the videos that he shoots with the camera pointing towards the television. [[User:Blueatom|Blueatom]] 21:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

What's truly scary is how quickly this came about. Do those credit card he has not shut off at all when he's over the limit or something? Or did he forget all about his bills and put most of of his monthly-tugaboat in this? It always baffles me how much he accumulates and how quickly. Especially when the stuff isn't cheap. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 1:18, 8 September 2010 (EST)

==Wi-Fi Antenna Gymnast Ribbon?==
is that the removed wifi antenna which he spins around at the camera near the end?? [[User:Superwoman|Superwoman]] 10:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:I was thinking it's the Red String of Fate -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 14:48, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
::"What the fuck was that supposed to be?" was my inital reaction. I don't even have a PS3, so I can't tell if it is or not. At first I think that was supposed to be a whip (notably, quite a gay whip gesture), or those wires Ninjas use to strangle people, but the antannae makes more sense.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 16:25, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

== Wrong title ==

Should be Haters Gonna Hate.MOV (or just Haters Gonna Hate). --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 11:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
: [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV]], fix this shit. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:48, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:: What was written by Chris-Chan, cause it might be note worthy that he doesn't even fix that file ending. --[[SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 1:01, 8 September 2010 (EST)

== Appearance and weight ==

He looks chubbier than usual to me. Thoughts? --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 12:03, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:2 things: 1) not a forum; 2) not really --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 12:41, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:: Maybe it was worth mentioning in the page. --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 16:19, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:::Yes, he gained some weight during the hiatus. We usually discuss this stuff on /cwc/ after every video, so go there for this kind of discussion. [[User:Loserbrain|Loserbrain]] 14:43, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
::::He looks much more like classic Chris in this video than he has done recently. Wearing his medallion, stood in his spot, making his videos and doing stupid shit. Rock on. [[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 18:10, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

== Digging Up Patti™ ==

Isn't this the first video where Chris has actually referred to Digging Up Patti™? At least I can't remember him mentioning this silliness in any other place before. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 07:58, 7 September 2010 (PDT)
:Digging up Patti was another one of the troll bounties, like destroying the PS3. That's the only connection I know.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 13:04, 7 September 2010 (PDT)
::Well, they also posted a thread saying they actually dug her up, using an image of a dog skeleton found on google, because they know he checks the forums. So he most likely went out and checked then was so eager to prove them wrong on video. -[[User:Sputum_lunae|sputum_lunae]]

== Haters.PNG ==
I used my psychic powers to replaced it with a jpg and changed the font to better fit the comic. Just letting you people know. When you take pictures from the comic don't use the png format.[[User:Magi-chan|Magi-chan]] 13:46, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

:Just have to say, love the pic! --[[User:Elliebytes|Elliebytes]] 17:34, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Women's rights

2010-09-08T05:07:38Z

SerenityMoonstone:

I think this perhaps could be expanded to include the Mary Poppin's take on women's rights. During his 'women's rights' section, Rosechu takes almost a full page to bring up "votes for women" as if this were still a relevant issue. It could be that suffrage is the only part of legitimate women's rights movements that he's aware of, and even then only to the extent of it being a minor theme in one of his favorite movies. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 00:43, 14 May 2009 (CEST)
:There's no indication that women, or Rosechus, have the ability to vote in CWCVille. However, it is likely just inserted as something Christian recognizes (...from Mary Poppins?). [[User:LBearington|LBearington]] 09:04, 2 June 2009 (CEST)
*Well, there's really no indication that ''anyone'' votes in CWCville. I don't think there will be that point addressed, as Chris wouldn't want to portray the risk of him losing his power (despite the fact that he does basically nothing for his office). Still, he puts it in when discussing women's rights and it's at least something to mention briefly. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 19:46, 5 June 2009 (CEST)
**The "votes for women" thing is just because of Mary Poppins. There was an incident in Mumble where Clyde approached Chris on this, like "Chris, why the fuck are you talking about women's right to vote and what the hell does that have to do with stripping?" and Chris is defensive and says something like "IT'S FROM MARY POPPINS!" Chris probably is unaware with the idea of women's struggle and since he was talking about what he thinks are "women's rights", he threw in something about women's rights he heard before (women's suffrage from Mary Poppins).

::As for voting, I believe in the Q&A video Chris says that everyone in CWCville can vote, "even blacks" (or maybe that comment was just something a troll added. If so, nice work). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:30, 5 June 2009 (CEST)

:::In Mailbag 37, he says that "We hold elections for the Board of Director Members." But I think the Mayor can overrule the council anyway.

These were just my initial thoughts on the matter. I will get around to checking this and editing the article. I have never seen Mary Poppins, so I can't comment on that. As for the Rosechu matter, I forget offhand which episode that is in. I will get around to re-reading the comics when I feel that I have some spare brain cells to kill. --[[User:Decrumpit|Decrumpit]] 08:50, 2 June 2009 (CEST)

Anyone else thinking in "The Father Call" when he laughs about Kacey maybe being "smarter then" him "on some things" stems from his sexism rather then his ego? --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 1:41, 5 September 2010 (EST)

::Definitely, if it were said of a man Chris wouldn't laugh, he'd get mad. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 02:18, 5 September 2010 (PDT)

::: Then maybe this page should include cases of his sexism, other then views them as nothing more then shop-a-holic sex objects which is just the summary of what he thinks. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 1:07, 8 September 2010 (EST)

Talk:Women's rights

2010-09-08T05:07:11Z

SerenityMoonstone:

Talk:Haters Gonna Hate.MOV

2010-09-08T05:01:40Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Wrong title */

Trying to transcribe...having trouble--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:22, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
- Disregard that I suck cocks, I can't even refresh the page without lagging out.--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:46, 6 September 2010 (PDT)--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:46, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
* I have TRANSCRIBED DIS BITCH. Mostly. Rest easy. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 09:54, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

Pfft, Chris is using his DEEP SCARY VOICE OOOOOOO -[[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 09:47, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==PS3==
I broke the page, sorry, but guess what I found. [[User:Ash link|Ash link]] 10:01, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==Case?==
Chris said he was keeping the PStripple case as a memento, is that a console or the case on the shelf? Keep in mind, I dont' know anything about Playstation 3 cases. --[[User:Fearfulsymmetry|Fearfulsymmetry]] 10:19, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

For a second I thought it might be a ps3 slim with the old faceplate leaned against it, but after comparing videos - it looks exactly the same as the old one pretty much...did he get a used old fat ps3? perhaps on ebay? any recent activity on ebay? is it possible the one he crushed really was a decoy? [[User:Superwoman|Superwoman]] 10:40, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:Trollin' Train thinks the new one is a refurbished one from GameStop. Sounds believable. --[[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 00:48, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

It looks like the one he made out of Pixelblocks. Anyways, if he had bought a new PS3, why would he have it on a shelf? [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 11:31, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

Quick question. Chris used to shoot his old videos with the PSEye, which I'm assuming requires a PS3 to use. If he has indeed broken dead the PS3, how is he shooting this video? A case for CWC getting a new PS3, perhaps? [[User:Pickle Monster|Pickle Monster]] 21:27, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:The PSEye has been dead for a very long time. He's using a handheld camcorder now. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 21:47, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
Whatever it is, it's in the same place as the old one as seen in [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]]. --[[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 16:18, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

That thing is actually in most of the videos that he shoots with the camera pointing towards the television. [[User:Blueatom|Blueatom]] 21:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==Wi-Fi Antenna Gymnast Ribbon?==
is that the removed wifi antenna which he spins around at the camera near the end?? [[User:Superwoman|Superwoman]] 10:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:I was thinking it's the Red String of Fate -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 14:48, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
::"What the fuck was that supposed to be?" was my inital reaction. I don't even have a PS3, so I can't tell if it is or not. At first I think that was supposed to be a whip (notably, quite a gay whip gesture), or those wires Ninjas use to strangle people, but the antannae makes more sense.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 16:25, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

== Wrong title ==

Should be Haters Gonna Hate.MOV (or just Haters Gonna Hate). --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 11:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
: [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV]], fix this shit. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:48, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:: What was written by Chris-Chan, cause it might be note worthy that he doesn't even fix that file ending. --[[SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 1:01, 8 September 2010 (EST)

== Appearance and weight ==

He looks chubbier than usual to me. Thoughts? --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 12:03, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:2 things: 1) not a forum; 2) not really --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 12:41, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:: Maybe it was worth mentioning in the page. --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 16:19, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:::Yes, he gained some weight during the hiatus. We usually discuss this stuff on /cwc/ after every video, so go there for this kind of discussion. [[User:Loserbrain|Loserbrain]] 14:43, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
::::He looks much more like classic Chris in this video than he has done recently. Wearing his medallion, stood in his spot, making his videos and doing stupid shit. Rock on. [[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 18:10, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

== Digging Up Patti™ ==

Isn't this the first video where Chris has actually referred to Digging Up Patti™? At least I can't remember him mentioning this silliness in any other place before. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 07:58, 7 September 2010 (PDT)
:Digging up Patti was another one of the troll bounties, like destroying the PS3. That's the only connection I know.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 13:04, 7 September 2010 (PDT)
::Well, they also posted a thread saying they actually dug her up, using an image of a dog skeleton found on google, because they know he checks the forums. So he most likely went out and checked then was so eager to prove them wrong on video. -[[User:Sputum_lunae|sputum_lunae]]

== Haters.PNG ==
I used my psychic powers to replaced it with a jpg and changed the font to better fit the comic. Just letting you people know. When you take pictures from the comic don't use the png format.[[User:Magi-chan|Magi-chan]] 13:46, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

:Just have to say, love the pic! --[[User:Elliebytes|Elliebytes]] 17:34, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Haters Gonna Hate.MOV

2010-09-08T05:00:39Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Wrong title */

Trying to transcribe...having trouble--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:22, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
- Disregard that I suck cocks, I can't even refresh the page without lagging out.--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:46, 6 September 2010 (PDT)--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:46, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
* I have TRANSCRIBED DIS BITCH. Mostly. Rest easy. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 09:54, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

Pfft, Chris is using his DEEP SCARY VOICE OOOOOOO -[[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 09:47, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==PS3==
I broke the page, sorry, but guess what I found. [[User:Ash link|Ash link]] 10:01, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==Case?==
Chris said he was keeping the PStripple case as a memento, is that a console or the case on the shelf? Keep in mind, I dont' know anything about Playstation 3 cases. --[[User:Fearfulsymmetry|Fearfulsymmetry]] 10:19, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

For a second I thought it might be a ps3 slim with the old faceplate leaned against it, but after comparing videos - it looks exactly the same as the old one pretty much...did he get a used old fat ps3? perhaps on ebay? any recent activity on ebay? is it possible the one he crushed really was a decoy? [[User:Superwoman|Superwoman]] 10:40, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:Trollin' Train thinks the new one is a refurbished one from GameStop. Sounds believable. --[[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 00:48, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

It looks like the one he made out of Pixelblocks. Anyways, if he had bought a new PS3, why would he have it on a shelf? [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 11:31, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

Quick question. Chris used to shoot his old videos with the PSEye, which I'm assuming requires a PS3 to use. If he has indeed broken dead the PS3, how is he shooting this video? A case for CWC getting a new PS3, perhaps? [[User:Pickle Monster|Pickle Monster]] 21:27, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:The PSEye has been dead for a very long time. He's using a handheld camcorder now. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 21:47, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
Whatever it is, it's in the same place as the old one as seen in [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]]. --[[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 16:18, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

That thing is actually in most of the videos that he shoots with the camera pointing towards the television. [[User:Blueatom|Blueatom]] 21:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==Wi-Fi Antenna Gymnast Ribbon?==
is that the removed wifi antenna which he spins around at the camera near the end?? [[User:Superwoman|Superwoman]] 10:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:I was thinking it's the Red String of Fate -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 14:48, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
::"What the fuck was that supposed to be?" was my inital reaction. I don't even have a PS3, so I can't tell if it is or not. At first I think that was supposed to be a whip (notably, quite a gay whip gesture), or those wires Ninjas use to strangle people, but the antannae makes more sense.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 16:25, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

== Wrong title ==

Should be Haters Gonna Hate.MOV (or just Haters Gonna Hate). --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 11:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
: [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV]], fix this shit. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:48, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:: What was written by Chris-Chan, cause it might be note worthy that he doesn't even fix that file ending.

== Appearance and weight ==

He looks chubbier than usual to me. Thoughts? --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 12:03, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:2 things: 1) not a forum; 2) not really --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 12:41, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:: Maybe it was worth mentioning in the page. --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 16:19, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:::Yes, he gained some weight during the hiatus. We usually discuss this stuff on /cwc/ after every video, so go there for this kind of discussion. [[User:Loserbrain|Loserbrain]] 14:43, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
::::He looks much more like classic Chris in this video than he has done recently. Wearing his medallion, stood in his spot, making his videos and doing stupid shit. Rock on. [[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 18:10, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

== Digging Up Patti™ ==

Isn't this the first video where Chris has actually referred to Digging Up Patti™? At least I can't remember him mentioning this silliness in any other place before. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 07:58, 7 September 2010 (PDT)
:Digging up Patti was another one of the troll bounties, like destroying the PS3. That's the only connection I know.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 13:04, 7 September 2010 (PDT)
::Well, they also posted a thread saying they actually dug her up, using an image of a dog skeleton found on google, because they know he checks the forums. So he most likely went out and checked then was so eager to prove them wrong on video. -[[User:Sputum_lunae|sputum_lunae]]

== Haters.PNG ==
I used my psychic powers to replaced it with a jpg and changed the font to better fit the comic. Just letting you people know. When you take pictures from the comic don't use the png format.[[User:Magi-chan|Magi-chan]] 13:46, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

:Just have to say, love the pic! --[[User:Elliebytes|Elliebytes]] 17:34, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

Father Call

2010-09-05T16:22:54Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Financial situation and Crystal the tard-baby */

[[Image:Matthew_Devoria.jpg|thumb|Artist's interpretation of Matthew Devoria.]]

Early in November 2009, [[Chris|Solid Chris]] spent a little over two hours on the phone one night with '''Matthew Devoria''' (born 1957), father of his would-be [[sweetheart]] [[Kacey]]. Matthew is a retired [[Wikipedia:United States Marine Corps|U.S. Marine]] who served in the [[Wikipedia:Gulf War|Gulf War]], and a consummate badass with a really sexy voice.

Chris uses the opportunity of speaking to the father of a heartsweet by boasting of his now legendary [[honest content|honesty]], before going on to [[lie]] his ass off about any topic you care to mention.

Chris is even playing ''[[Wikipedia:Portal (video game)|Portal]]'' during the phone conversation: if you go to 01:22:21 (2:23 on YouTube video 9), you'll hear a turret saying "[[Target]] lost," seconds after Chris is told by Matthew that Kacey hasn't heard a word Chris has said. ''The irony is undeniable''. One could speculate that trolls were monitoring the call, and triggered the sound effect, as if to point out Chris's lack of attention. Given how crystal-clear the sound effect was compared to Chris, the trolls probably did it.

Their conversation is...illuminating. This is probably the most blunt assessment of himself and his place in the world that Chris has ever directly received: Matthew berates Chris for his [[Monthly tugboat|laziness]], [[Chris and death|lack of empathy]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog|inability]] [[pokémon|to]] [[video games|grow]] [[sonichu|up]], [[chris and health|unhealthy lifestyle]], [[fat|rotund figure]], and for generally being a failure at life. It is unlikely that Chris will take any of Matt and Kacey's advice to heart, as he retorts by saying that he leads a [[lie|hard life]], which includes such laborious tasks as doing [[:Image:Gibson.jpg|menial chores]], mowing the lawn, which he uses a [[CWC Fighter|riding lawn mower]] to do, and [[Tour of Chris's House|cleaning the house]]. He also claims to be [[I AM STRONG|strong]] and that he [[Guitar Hero|exercises]] [[Mass debating|regularly]], as well as eating healthy by going to [[McDonald's]] only once per week and [[Homo|shoving vegetables down his throat]].

After being confronted with the truth that he uses the [[trolls]] and his [[autism]] as a crutch, [[stress]] overcame him and Chris became increasingly more [[chris and anger|upset]]. In general, Chris's attitude and immaturity greatly offended Kacey and her father, causing her to rethink her decision and go back to [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid]].

Chris recorded his [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5 November video]] as a follow-up to this conversation, hoping to repair his relationship with Kacey. He then had another [[Kacey and Liquid Call|phone conversation with Kacey]], which didn't go so well...

==Transcript==
===Matthew makes the scene===
[[Image:Md.PNG|thumb|Chris's drawing of Kacey's father (from [[Sonichu Special 4]]).]]

'''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, how are you?

'''Kacey:''' Um, I'm cool, um, I'm over at my parents' house cause, um, they wanted to call cause they saw some of your videos and I gave them the letter...

'''Chris:''' Okay, all right, actually I'm uploading a [[11042009 51 50|video]] now, I did 51 reps with, uh, 50 pound weights... not really weights, but...

'''Kacey:''' You did 51 reps or 51 times? 'Cause, reps are different.

'''Chris:''' You know, lifted them up, 51 times, lifted them up with each arm. 51 times each arm so 102.

'''Kacey:''' Hm. Well, was it hard?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it was hard, but it was a show of strength anyway.

'''Kacey:''' Um, that's funny cause I have to lift like... 100 or more pounds for my job but, um, let me go ahead and get my dad because he wants to talk to you.

'''Chris:''' Uh, okay, what's his name? ...Okay.

'''Kacey:''' I'm sorry I didn't hear you, it's Matthew.

'''Chris:''' Matthew? Okay.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' All right.

'''Kacey:''' All right well just give me a minute.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

[''Pause'']

'''Dad:''' Hello, Chris. This is ''Matthew'', Kacey's father.

'''Chris:''' Hello, s-good evening sir, how are you?

'''Dad:''' I'm good, thank you. How are you?

'''Chris:''' I'm doing good.

'''Dad:''' Good, good... So, uh... So I've got a couple of questions for you... Well, more than a couple.

'''Chris:''' That's fine, that's fine, I'm happy to oblige with an an-with an [[honest content|honest]] answer.

'''Dad:''' Okay, well uh, first and foremost, let's see...you got a job, son?

'''Chris:''' Not currently but [[Chris's resume|I am working towards getting a job]], I have been filling out applications left and right.

'''Dad:''' Really, really, what kind of places? What kind of skills you got?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, w-yeah, I'm looking a- I'm applying for like uh- retail stores and such, I've got an application for a new CVS in [[Ruckersville]], and uh, one over at [[Wal-Mart]], and had one over at [[Target]]...I have worked before, I've worked at [[Wendy's]] in Ruckersville for a few months... First off I worked off as a sales representative for [[Cutco]] cutlery.

'''Dad:''' Right, that's minimum wage stuff... Did you go to college or something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|I went to college]] and, uh, got a degree and a certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Graphic and Design]].

'''Dad:''' And you're working at...''Target''...I mean, I know the economy's bad but I mean... surely you've gotta, you know, use that somehow, right? ...How old are you again?

'''Chris:''' I'm 27... sir.

'''Dad:''' You're almost ''thirty'' and you're working at, uh...''Target''. You wanna work at Target, I should say.

'''Chris:''' Hm... yeah well, not really sure what kind of jobs my, uh... degree and certificate would get me but I mean like, you know... but I mean, if I-if I did know then I'd certainly strike up on the job...

'''Dad:''' You got a degree not knowing what kind of jobs you could get... in that field and you've had it for how long? When did you graduate?

'''Chris:''' Uh...I graduated in 2006.

'''Dad:''' 2006, so you've had it for 3 years and you have done nothing with it... Hm, you haven't had any jobs between then?

===Pokémon volunteer and Chris's home===
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I had-I did-I have done volunteer work... uh...

'''Dad:''' That doesn't pay, though. Although, what kind? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Dad:''' What kind of volunteer work? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' All right, yeah, well, I have the-I helped the children over at the [[The GAMe PLACe|Citizens Gym League]] for the [[Pokémon]] Trading Card Game league a few years back...

'''Dad:''' ''Pokémon''? Wait, wait, that...

'''Chris:''' You know, teach them how to play, build decks from what scraps they had, make sure they kept in order, don't get too crazy...

'''Dad:''' And...how long ago was this?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what was that?

'''Dad:''' How long ago was this? I mean, wasn't that Pokémon thing, wasn't that back in [[1990s|the 90s]] when that was really popular? Because I think my youngest daughter used to like that, but you know, that was years ago.

'''Chris:''' That was the late 90s.

'''Dad:''' LATE 90s.

'''Chris:''' And-um-that's still going strong. Maybe I-

'''Dad:''' If you say so.

'''Chris:''' ...And I have been doing that from 1998 till about 2008. So about 10 years I've been doing that.

'''Dad:''' Right. You've been playing a children's card game for 10 years.

'''Chris:''' ...Yeah but also like, as you know, like, a form of babysitting.

'''Dad:''' Babysitting...but doesn't babysitting usually you know, pay? And I mean, that doesn't sound like you're volunteering. When I think volunteering work I think like, you know, Red Cross, that kind of thing. You know, actually going out and really helping people, planting trees, that kind of stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah well, I have-I have been-I have helped people out. You know, I, uh, helped, like, the parents mind...knowing their children were in a safe environment and I helped ensure children were playing and were within the safe environment and that nothing was to go wrong and, uh, and I was respected as an authoritative figure in that sense.

'''Dad:''' And...but...are you still doing this? I mean, or what are you doing right now? If you stopped, why aren't you doing this anymore?

'''Chris:''' Ummm...yeah, I was kinda like, uh, you know, uh, not so good at showing up, so it was like my choice on ending that, you know. But yeah, it was kind of a sad day for me, you know, to have to put that behind me, but you know we gotta move on. But anyway, aside from that I...I've been searching and, uh, doing yardwork for my family and other sorts of...heavy lifting.

'''Dad:''' Right, right...Well anyways, I'm done talking about, uh, Pok-e-man now. I got a couple more. So, uh, what kind of place you got, you got a place of your own? Where you living at?

'''Chris:''' Yeah...I'm currently living in a [[14 Branchland Court|2-story house]] with my [[mother]] and my [[father]].

'''Dad:''' Living with your parents, age 30. Got it. [''Chris tries to interrupt''] Almost 30, excuse me.

'''Chris:''' Well, uh, I hope that, uh, doesn't strike you in a bad thing, but its like, uh, I just did not feel comfortable leaving the safety of my home with the uh, for a while.

'''Dad:''' And uh, why is that exactly?

'''Chris:''' Cause I could not really, I just did not feel, you know, like I was ready for a place of my own just yet.

'''Dad:''' You gotta leave somehow, you've gotta leave at some point. I think most of my kids will, you know, move out 18, 20... I'm okay if they hang out while they're in college but after that they gotta start looking for a place of their own, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah...yeah. But, you know, to each their own individual growth rates.

'''Dad:''' Right, but, but uh, I just gotta ask though...I mean, you're really serious about Kacey, are you not?

'''Chris:'''Yes, yes, I am serious about Kacey.

'''Dad:''' Okay so...uh-

'''Chris:''' And with her help, I feel like I could get a good start on being able to, uh, you know, shortly, in the near future, move out of my-of the house.

'''Dad:''' ...with her help?

'''Chris:''' ...and get a place of my own...

'''Dad:''' You need her help to support both of you?

'''Chris:''' [''floundering''] It's more like you know...um...some details I'm not understand...I talk to my parents sometimes about that but it's like, uh, you know...uh...I...it's like a...whole bunch of details...you know...yeah.

'''Dad:''' EXPLAIN, PLEASE. I don't know what these details are.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, I'm still, like, uh, I would need external influence, somebody outside the house to help me feel more comfortable in moving out.

'''Dad:''' You could, you know, people are always looking for roommates, just go to any college board.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...but still, I mean, that's not...

'''Dad:''' That's not really an excuse.

'''Chris:''' That's not something I would feel comfortable with since, uh, I haven't been to college for a few years, you know.

'''Dad:''' So, really, if you can't support my daughter, my daughter needs a man, a MAN to support her.

'''Chris:''' I am a man, sir.

===Financial situation and Crystal the tard-baby===
'''Dad:''' How serious are you about my daughter?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Dad:''' How serious are you about my daughter? Really. If you aren't even willing to support yourself.

'''Chris:''' I am willing, I am able to support myself as well. I'm able to support myself. And I will be able to support your daughter as well.

'''Dad:''' Okay, then why aren't you? Where's the money gonna come from?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I do have, I do have a [[Monthly tugboat|monthly income]].

'''Dad:''' Do you now.

'''Chris:''' I get, yeah, I get it from the government. My family is a little bit in with the government.

'''Dad:''' So why do you get welfare? Might I ask? Or whatever you call it.

'''Chris:''' You can call it, like, you know, a stepping-stone in the right direction of me moving out and all that, but seriously, though, I am very strong-willed, and I feel that I could, I would be able to take care of Kacey.

'''Dad:''' You're avoiding my question. Why are you on, I think it's actually called Social Security. Why do you get it? I mean, I'm a pretty strong Republican, we don't really like that whole welfare thing. We work, and if we can't work, we go join the military. That's what I did.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I understand that. You see, I'm [[Autism|high-functionally autistic]].

'''Dad:''' Are you now.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was diagnosed with that at a young age, and I was, I still have [''brief disconnection''] just a few years ago.

'''Dad:''' So, ah...isn't that [[autism]] thing, it's like a, you're not, like, ''retarded'', are you?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, not really, what?

'''Dad:''' I'm just saying, you know, that's a genetic thing, right? I don't want any, if you're really going to get with my daughter, I don't want tard-babies.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, autism is not genetic.

'''Dad:''' Ah, I think I read somewhere that it was, actually. I'm pretty sure I did.

'''Chris:''' No, no, it's a myth. That's a myth.

'''Dad:''' A myth. A myth.

'''Chris:''' Autism is not genetic. You're not gonna have, there would be no retarded grandchildren on your part. I can guar...I can promise you that.

'''Dad:''' If you say so. If you really say so. I'm looking this stuff up right now. My Kacey, she's in medicine, she knows this stuff, she's an expert.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, like, you know, it might be also...

'''Dad:''' Actually, hold on, she's right over here. Hey, Kacey, what do you know about autism? Is that genetic?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it's definitely genetic. It usually runs in the mother's line but it can be in the father's as well. But it's usually the mother's. And twins have a much higher chance.

'''Chris:''' [In a relatively quiet sigh] Great.

'''Kacey:'''Anything else, dad?

'''Dad:''' Ah...no, I think that's good, yeah, you go...what were you doing again?

'''Kacey:''' I need to go finish washing the dishes, I'll be right back, dad.

'''Dad:''' I think there's some cake down there, too, go help yourself or something.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, sweet! Thanks, dad.

'''Dad:''' Anyways, where was I? Let's see...if you really want a kid with my Kacey, I think you'd probably be best if you adopted or something. That's a good thing, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, in my case, I would not, I do not, I would not care to adopt. You see, I have a dream, I have my dream, and that dream is to give birth, to have, to share a daughter with my wife-to-be, and her name would be [[Crystal]].

'''Dad:''' A dream...as in, you were asleep and you saw something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Plus, in the dream, I had, like, an office job.

'''Dad:''' An office job. Right.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Dad:''' You know, I don't think, Kacey actually doesn't really like that name. You know, it's kind of a stripper name, Cri-STAL, it's kinda like Cristal, that champagne...

'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, it would not, it would not, it would not be Cri-STAL, it would be Cri-STUL. Does that make sense?

'''Dad:''' It's still pretty close.

'''Chris:''' It's fairly, it does sound close, but it's not, you're not, you're just replacing the C-R-I-S-T-L-E, you're replacing the L-E with an A-L.

'''Dad:''' Yeah, but even so...you said this all came to you in a dream...dreams, they don't pay the bills. It's just a dream. That's all just from your head. I had a dream once where, you know, I was flying. You don't see me doing that.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, okay, but I mean, it's like in, yeah. Flying, yeah, you're definitely not going to be able to fly on your own. Sure. But it's like, you know, when you see a dream that's actually reasonable, that you can actually picture yourself doing in the future while you're awake. You know? It's like a career thing. You know, it's like, yeah, you definitely, it's like, you know, when your child, there's a chance you could become a cowboy if you dreamed of being a cowboy. But, you know, that may not be, that may seem kind of far-fetched, if you're living in a place that's not near or in Texas, but if you're like, if you dreamed you want, if you want, if you dreamed you wanted to be, to become a teacher, that's more likely, that's more likely possible. You can get the degree and become a teacher.

'''Dad:''' So? If you want to go do it, be a teacher, go to work in an office, GO WORK IN AN OFFICE! Go apply to an office. Don't dream about it, dreams do nothing for you, they don't pay the bills.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I am taking, I have been, I have been working on that, and I have been taking action on looking for good jobs. Definitely looking in office jobs.

===Prophetic dreams and Bob Chandler===
'''Dad:''' You think you have some kind of powers of prophecy? That doesn't seem very, I don't know, to me it doesn't seem very Godly, you know.

'''Chris:''' No, ah, ah, ah, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that I'm a prophet. I'm not saying that. But, you know, it's definitely something that, you know, it's definitely something that I feel that God has promised to me and [[Chris and religion|I believe in God]], I go to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] every Sunday, and like, like in...

'''Dad:''' That sounds like being a prophet to me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you do, yeah, there are prophets that are mentioned in the Bible.

'''Dad:''' Yes, but.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not, I, but, I am not saying that I am a prophet. Not saying that.

'''Dad:''' Son, I go to church every Sunday too, and I've never had any kind of dreams of anything telling me that something is going to happen. God doesn't do that. God doesn't tell you things like that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you never know, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, it'll just, it depends on the people, you know? You never know it, but you know, you might actually have gotten a message in a dream that may have actually [''brief interruption''] but you might, you might not have caught on as quickly, or...and I do not mean to insult you, but, ah, yeah, right now, conflicted by, you know, retrospect, you might actually realize that could have been a message from God.

'''Dad:''' Naaaah... if you think you see the future, that sounds like you're trying to be a prophet. That doesn't really sound religious, that just sounds like some [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|mumbo-jumbo]] to me.

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying that it is the definite future, but that it is a POSSIBLE future. And I am looking-and I am looking to make that happen.

'''Dad:''' Well, MAKE it happen.

'''Chris:''' I am going to.

'''Dad:''' Do it. And if it's not a message from god, you should go out, you should do it. Why don't you go- don't wait for it, it sounds like you're just sitting around waiting for it. When did you have this dream, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I pretty much, I pretty much had it when I was between seven and nine years old-

'''Dad:''' Seven-wh-TWENTY YEARS AGO? Excuse me? And nothing has happened between then and now?

'''Chris:''' ''[floundering]'' I was definitely, like, in my [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school years]]...

'''Dad:''' And you hold onto this dream...I mean, you're almost thirty, you're, you know...time is gonna start working against you, you know? I mean, life is short.

'''Chris:''' Yes, it is.

'''Dad:''' And you're living with your parents. I mean, what do you do all day, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I get creative by uh, I like to draw and color. And uh, sometimes I like to create with my hands, you know, I sculpt. And, uh even as far as, you know, just tinkering with, anything I like tinkering with. I even have-I am even technologically smart. I even took a [[computer]] upgrading class where I put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch.

'''Dad:''' So...why aren't you working building computers or something? It sounds like something you could do.

'''Chris:''' [''ignoring this fairly good point''] Hm, yeah, it is. Hm. Well I pretty much did get started on the techno-savvy, I would say, from my father. He's a retired technical engineer, he worked for GE for a number of years, he also, uh, was in the, well he was stationed over in Korea in the Signal Corps. He-he designed the controls for the plastic auto machines for his other achievements. So without him we would not have the plastic for, at the very least, your soda bottles.

'''Dad:''' That's all fine and good, I mean, your father...but I'm not talking about your father, I'm talking about you.

'''Chris:''' I'm just pointing it out as hinting at my technological influence.

'''Dad:''' But...you haven't done anything, unlike your father. That's what I'm getting here. I mean, that's not good, son. When I was 27 I already had a wife and kids, I was working 40 hours a week.

'''Chris:''' Hmm...umm...yes, well, my father didn't marry-my father did not marry the first time till he was 30 himself.

'''Dad:''' Yeah but you know, he probably also had a job and was living on his own, and he was also in the military, like me. So I don't really care about what your father did, because that's what he did, that's not what you did.

'''Chris:''' I understand-I understand th-I understand what you're talk-I understand...talking about...and, you know, and your point.

'''Dad:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I make a, I am trying to make a valid point myself. I feel like that, you know, we both are definitely understanding each other.
===Kacey's boobs and internet fame===
'''Dad:''' Really? I must say, I'm not really impressed, but, uh, let's move on. Let's talk a little bit about what you think about my lovely daughter. What was the first thing you liked or noticed about Kacey?

'''Chris:''' I noticed her beautiful face.

'''Dad:''' Her beautiful face.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And her blue-green eyes are like a pair of swimming pools that I would just like to swim around and bathe myself in.

'''Dad:''' ''[laughs]'' So the first thing you noticed was her appearance.

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] But also I definitely like to take note over time, over talking to her, one day that she was very smart and very fun to hang around with, and she definitely knows what she's talking about. If anything [''laughs''] she could be a little bit sm-[[Ego|she could be smarter than me on some things]].

'''Dad:''' But still, the first thing that, uh, you noticed, was her appearance. So, were you looking for like a trophy wife or something? It's kind of funny...

'''Chris:''' [''stuttering''] The first thing I noticed about her in person, when we talked first, you know, between phone calls and e-mails, after kind of an indirect meeting there, but anyway. I actually learned first that she was smart and very delightful to talk to. And then after a while, she and I met in person, and then I got to appreciate her face. And the-the smart, charming wit behind it.

'''Dad:''' This doesn't really add up to what Kacey told me, you know. The impressions I got from what she said about your first little..."encounter," we'll call it...she said she was a little bit...uncomfortable around you, you know? And apparently [[Kacey Phone Call|when you first talked to her, you actually were pretending to be somebody else]], actually. You know, [[Liquid Chris|that other Chris]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well he was, that was another thing. Yeah. All right, yeah.

'''Dad:''' She didn't like that much.

'''Chris:''' My friend Kim, she helped me, uh, get into that Chris's e-mail account. Before I ever learned about Kacey-

'''Dad:''' You know, that Chris was her boyfriend at the time, you know? I mean, I've actually talked to that guy and met him in person, he's actually a pretty nice kid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but if you watch his [[YouTube]] videos he does get a little crazy. But anyway for the past few months now...he was, you know, he was pretending to be me, and a few months ago, he pretends, or I'm assuming he pretends, that he gets kidnapped and tied up, and sent to the desert. And then Kacey tells me that cops ''[incomprehensible]'' in the desert, but I'm going off track here-

'''Dad:''' That just doesn't make any sense to me. Why would he pretend to be you? Someone like you, guy who lives with his parents.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Okay, first off, I'm internet famous for being the original creator of the, uh...it's like a combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and Pikachu [''Kacey's Dad groans''], so I was the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. And I created him on March 17, [[2000]], and I drew the [[comic]] books...I originally started that back in 2000, and I've drawn a few books and I'm still doing some drawing, I don't like to leave an unfinished project finished. But-

'''Dad:''' [''Has been trying to interrupt for the last 30 seconds''] Okay, so...you know, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about? I barely know what Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokémon is other than it's kids' stuff. So basically what I'm getting here is you took two kids' things and put them together, you know, two [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] kids' things...

'''Chris:''' But it's making up a whole new character, and my father has the knowledge with the [[copyrights]] and whatnot, and he verifies for me that I have been in the clear the whole time, from the beginning, to uh, to continue on with Sonichu being m-Sonichu and Rosechu being my original creation. And I create the original stories and everything, and the books, and I've done the [[CWCipedia]], which was originally on the CWC Sonichu site speaking of which, CWC is my name, Christian Weston Chandler. Anyway, I've been going on with that since 2000, uh-

'''Dad:''' Which means you were 18 when you made this. You were what, a senior in high school? You were playing with kids' stuff? And that's what you've been doing for...what, you know, since then? You're 27 years old? You're playing with kids' stuff? I mean, like, little kids' stuff. I mean, like, ten-year-olds.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, it may sound like that, but in a sense, it was definitely a fad that I was, uh, enjoying, and, uh-

'''Dad:''' But fads, they come and go.

'''Chris:''' -until when I had to like, uh, which was just a year and a half ago, I had to let that go, and I let that go a year and a half ago. But anyway, getting back to, uh...

'''Dad:''' You said it was popular, still. But you're not making any money off it. You're just doing this while you sit around in your parents' house for no real reason, because like I said, you're not making any money off this, and you still wanna be a boyfriend.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it is a thing I’m doing to make money off of, I could be, it is a thing that I am working on starting to make money off of, I am in talks with the com- comic book company, as well as Nintendo of America, about, uh, you know, about possibly, about the likelihood of me being able to, uh, of, uh, us getting together... making money off of this, cuz, obviously, since 2000 it became more and more popular on the, uh, internet, and I became internet famous and, uh, along with a bunch of the fans like that, I was, ah...

'''Dad:''' Don’t you... don’t you need permission from both [[SEGA]], and [[Nintendo]]? I mean, is that, Sonic is from Sega, right? I mean, I know a little bit about what my daughter was… my little daughter used to talk about... I kinda know what a Sega is, I think.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I have talked to Sega as well, but anyway, getting back to, anyway, getting back to, if I may finish... yeah. Anyway, yeah, I got internet famous, I got the fans, and then I got the naysayers which were the internet bullies and trolls... and, uh... and uh, that Chris, and uh, Chris over there, was uh, he was one of them, and uh before, and this is, uh before I met Kacey he uh, he started pretending to be me, on the, in YouTube videos. And, uh...

'''Dad:''' This... okay, I’m sorry, this is just getting completely ridiculous, all this internet, I mean you just, all this internet stuff, I don’t, I don’t know much about computers, but I mean, that’s just... this sounds like just a whole waste of time, that I don’t care about, because it doesn’t pay the bills, and it DOES NOT help support Ka- my Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I- I- I understand that.

===Twin Falling Towers and getting fired===
'''Dad:''' I mean, I was in the MILITARY. I was DOING something. I fought in Desert STORM. I fought against Saddam HUSSEIN.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... okay... you fought in Desert Storm, you fought against Saddam... that’s all good, that’s very good. That’s honorable. That is honorable.

'''Dad:''' But... and then what- and then YOU, you made this... Son-ni-chu thing. I mean... it’s like... ah, this is, something’s, something’s not right here, you know? But, but, but since you did bring up Youtube, I got, I got kind of an interesting little thing... that I noticed, in one of your recent videos, heh. I mean, I don’t know what exactly you were thinking, with this, um... you know, you did [[Twin Falling Towers|that video with the, ah... 9/11]]. I can’t say I really enjoyed that too much. I mean... that kinda hits... that kinda hits close to home to me, you know, I mean...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I, yeah, I realize, I realize that now, and I have received the complaints so, yeah that’s why I have... I put that...

'''Dad:'''You’re lucky I don’t... you’re lucky I don’t have a Youtube, son. I mean, my... I mean, that hits close to home to me. My MOTHER, Kacey’s grandmother... y’know, she DIED on 9/11.

'''Chris:''' I, um... I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, and I, uh, I mean, it’s like, I did not mean to hit that, hit that fragile emotion, ah, it was originally, ah, a thing, against a longer, worser- worser internet troll, who goes by the name of [[Clyde Cash]], whose alias is Gregg Mays, and...

'''Dad:''' You made a video...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that’s just a whole nother story, right there. Anyway, I had...

'''Dad:''' You made a video, basically, just trying to, trying to mess with some... GUY... on the internet... that makes fun of one of the greatest American tragedies of our lifetime- no, THE Amer- greatest American tragedy of our lifetime.

'''Chris:''' Mm... yes, but, yeah but this guy, uh, he’s done a lot, he’s done a lot of things against me, yeah, on the internet, trying to... you know... y-yeah, trying to destroy my good name with, uh, a whole bunch of twisted tru- told a whole bunch of twisted truths and phrases, and, words, and, I- that I have said, he just twist them around to- in evil ways and just, like some, and just, try- he’s one of those that just- and trying to slander my good name... And, uh, worse off, and worse off, and worse off, and worse off...

'''Dad:''' Okay, let me ask you... let me ask you something. Where were you, on 9/11? I mean, they say everybody remembers where they were on 9/11 when they heard that those towers were going down, when a plane had hit those towers, and THOUSANDS of people DIED.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I do remember where I was on, uh, 9/11, yeah, I was a, I had just, uh, I was just, uh, let go, from uh, my job at, uh, Wendy’s, it was uh, for, there was some differences between me and my employer, you know, I... [trails off with a faint groan] Yeah, but anyway,

'''Dad:''' Would you like to know where Kacey was? Would you like to know where Kacey was?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, okay, well, if I may finish, if I may finish, yeah, I was-

'''Dad:''' No. No, I’m sorry. No, no, Kacey was AT Ground Zero. She was giving BLOOD, and plasma, volunteering, and where were you again?

'''Chris:''' [Pause] Hm. Yeah, I was out shopping with my mom that day.

'''Dad:''' ...Uh-huh. Really. That’s...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Dad:''' ...That’s wonderful. Wait a minute, you said Wendy’s before. That... are you changing stories on me? H-have you been, like, changing stories on me through this entire call?

'''Chris:'''No, no I'm not changing-

'''Dad:''' Are you just making shit up now?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not changing stories, this is the same story, I had just gotten fired from the Wendy's and I was feeling down, and I, I was feeling down...

'''Dad:''' You'd been FIRED from Wendy's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was, yeah, let go. I was let go from Wendy's, and I was sad, I was sad about that, you know, they gave me...

'''Dad:''' WHY?

'''Chris:''' I told you! It was, it was because of, uh, emotional differences.

'''Dad:''' Emotional differences.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, my, my, my employer, my...

'''Dad:''' That's...this is absolutely nothing, that just sounds like a bunch of bullsheeit.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Dad:''' Also sounds a little GAY. [''Chris stammers, splutters, and sighs in the background''] I mean, what, did the fry cook break up with you or something? I mean, come on.

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] No! It was nothing, it was nothing like that! It was a misunderstanding, something...

'''Dad:''' Why do you sigh so much? That's just irritating.

'''Chris:''' That was, that was, that was misunderstanding, that was just, there was a whole bunch of misunderstandings between me and my employer, and he, and he has, and he had, and he had, and he had a spike on his shoulder against me. And, and, and, and then, and then that was why he, and then that was why he eventually fired me...

'''Dad:''' [''has been trying to interrupt Chris's stammering for a while''] WHAT KIND OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Like I, like I did, like I did some things that he thought were bad but were, that he thought were bad but were actually good. And then he let, and then he, and then he let me, and then he let me go based on that. Anyway, yeah, I, anyway, this was a couple of days before 9/11 and I was still feeling down from being let go, and then, on 9/11 I was out shopping with my mother that day.

===Maturity, and chores===
'''Dad:''' Good god, I mean, you sound like you're just, you sound like you're just some simpering little...your voice is all wavery...good lord. You want to date...YOU? You want to date my daughter? You're not even giving me an ounce of respect now.

'''Chris:''' Oh come, oh come, oh come on, I grew up a lot, I grew up a lot since then! [''rapidly loses coherence''] I've grown, I've grown up a lot, in sounds, in sounds, duetothegirl, and, sounds strite, sound, in sound mind.

'''Dad:''' Goddamn. This just sounds like a bunch of fucking whining. You're not even, you don't even sound like half the man that other Chris sounds like at this point. You don't sound like you've grown up. You play fucking Pokeymon all the time!

'''Chris:''' [''Chris's dander is up.''] I am, I am, I am a grown-up ''sir''! I have moved, I have moved on from Pokémon years ago! I am a grown-up! I have moved on from the childish things.

'''Dad:''' No, you didn't move from...you went from Pokémon to Sonichu. What the fuck? This is still just kid shit. You don't have a job. You're still living with your parents. Almost 30 years old. This is ridiculous. You want to date my daughter. You realize that she's LEAGUES above you right now. She's out of your reach.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting a word in edgewise after many stammers''] I have, I have, I have suffered through my own, through my own trials and tribulations that would be war-like. I have suffered through a whole bunch of...enduring physical pains as well. You just could not, you just could not imagine...

'''Dad:''' [''laughing''] Physical pain! [''more laughter''] God, this is...

'''Chris:''' I have, I have worked myself to the bone a lot!

'''Dad:''' This is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' And I have, I have felt heartaches, and I have felt like...

'''Dad:''' You don't know what physical pain feels like...

'''Chris:''' I have felt like I couldn't move on. But then, but then I still move on.

'''Dad:''' ...until you have taken a bullet in the fucking chest. I'm lucky to be alive. My comrade, one of my good buddies, he wasn't so lucky. He died right next to me. I carried him back...

'''Chris:''' [''humbled''] Yeah, well, well, yeah, that is, that was, that was very heroic and I commend you for that good sir.

'''Dad:''' Sure. Yeah. I'm sure. You don't need to commend me. Now you're just kissing ass.

'''Chris:''' No! I am not just, I am not kissing ass!

'''Dad:''' Okay. Well then. Alright. So really, okay...I have one more question, what do you have to offer my daughter, really? After I've heard all this, what exactly do you have to offer a future med student? She had a good fiancé, and now you think you can take her?

'''Chris:''' Yes I could, because I could offer, I can, I can offer her...a whole bunch of support that, that, that, that Chris could not offer. Like I am, I am, I am [[Honest Content|HONEST]]...

'''Dad:''' Really? He's going to be published! He has a job lined up!

'''Chris:''' Like, I am honest, I am loyal, I am STRONG...good natured...

'''Dad:''' Yeah, but this guy spoke several languages, he had connections in the comic-book industry, this guy could get a job right out of college, and you're mooching off the government, off of ''MY'' tax money! And you want to date my daughter. These two had so much in common, Kacey and Chris. She loved everything about him. And you? You just sit around, play with toys, and what, video games? Is that what you buy with your welfare money? Like Pokeyman shit?

'''Chris:''' [[Pokéwalker of Fail|I have not played with Pokémon for years]], sir!

'''Dad:''' Okay, so what do you play with?

'''Chris:''' Hmph.

'''Dad:''' You denied Pokeyman, but you didn't deny video games.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I, okay, I have, I have, I have played some Gui-, I have played some Guitar Hero.

'''Dad:''' [[Guitar Hero]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Dad:''' What the hell is that?

'''Chris:''' I have to stand, I have to stand up to play, I have to stand up and play gitar.

'''Dad:''' You have to stand up to play ''gitar''! Oh, wow! That's...why don't you...that's just pathetic. You think that's exercise? Do you play a real guitar? I think the real Chris could play a real guitar.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] I work, I work hard for my father in his, in his gar-, in his gar-, in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!

'''Dad:''' Pulled weeds? My grandma pulled weeds! My grandma had arthritis and she pulled weeds every day!

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] Well, I'm sorry to hear that your grandma had ar-, had arthritis. But I, but I, I am, I am very strong sir. And I tell you, it was very hard and torturing work to pull, to pull, to, I was working under the hot hot sun, it was, those were very hot days!

'''Dad:''' And you still look like a, I dunno, you look pretty fat to me. I mean, my Kacey, Kacey exercises. And she lost weight, she looks, you know, she looks wonderful. And you? I mean, do you even know...what is the hot sun? I've been in the Middle East. You don't know hot until you've been out in the fuckin' shit.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yes, okay, yes, I will agree with you that I cannot, I cannot understand heat, truly understand heat, until I'm truly in the middle of a desert. But still, it was, those were very hot days. And I pulled those weeds. And I even, I even, I even placed lumber around the edges of that garden, and I hammered labels of those flowers, and my, that my, that my father hand-wrote accurately, and figured, and, pat out the, and he showed me where to place them, I even helped him a little bit with placing them. And I placed, I hammered those labels hard into those pieces of lumber.

'''Dad:''' That's, that just sounds like basic chores. Lumber, pulling weeds, on a good day I had to do 200 push-ups. And I saw [[30 Push-Ups|those push-ups you did]], whatever you call them. Push-ups? That's not push-ups. That was, I dunno, you looked like you were flopping around like a.... fish. Actually kinda looked like you were humping the floor or something.

'''Chris:''' [''unfazed''] I even mowed the lawn!

'''Dad:''' Mowed the lawn! [''laughs''] Wow.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and again, those were very hot days, too. And sometimes the lawnmower would quit on me! And I'd have to practically kick-start it, with my foot, I had to kick it to start it up again!

'''Dad:''' You know, I see seven-year-olds who mow lawns all day for a summer job. All day. All summer. They do it just, they handle it just fine, why can't you? Oh, yeah, and they get paid for it, might I add.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting very angry at this piont'']Yeah, well, I was not, well, I was not paid for mowing the lawn. And also, you know what? Another heavy-duty burden I had to take care of, and that I wasn't paid for? When [[Patti Chandler|my dog]] died, a few years ago, she was a sweet dog, I moved, I lifted and carried her doghouse to the site where we buried her. Her doghouse. That thing had to weigh, like, five, ten tons.

'''Dad:''' [''laughs in disbelief'']

'''Chris:''' It was very heavy! I carried that thing.

===Death and fake internet women===
'''Dad:''' [''Matt is about to break down laughing.''] You're talking to me about how your dog died, you're talking about someone who has lost friends and family in national tragedies. My mother, I had...I had to deal with the loss of my mother, not to old age, but to...fucking...a plane by fucking...piloted by terrorists. My gran-, my mother was killed by terrorists.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, my...

'''Dad:''' And your...but, but your heavy burden is your dog died. I'm sorry, but boo, really, I've had dogs die, it sucks, but that's nothing... that's nothing...

'''Chris:''' Y'know, yeah, well, yeah, well, yeah, well, I was very sad when she died. It was not a matter of age, it was pretty much, yeah, she was very sickly, there was nothing we could do, so I, I signed that form to give them permission to put her to sleep. I let her, I let her go, that was an emotional burden on me. And I have, I have been, my aunt Corrina died just a few months, just a few months, just last January, because of, because of heart cancer.

'''Dad:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] Are you, are you...

'''Chris:''' It was very, it was very saddening, I was very...

'''Dad:''' I'm sorry, are you messing with me? Are you trying to compare the loss of my mother, the loss of someone who took care of me for years, to a dog? Are you calling my mother a dog?

'''Chris:''' I am not calling your mother a dog.

'''Dad:''' [''stress sigh of his own''] I had to dig my mother out of the rubble of the twin towers. I mean, and you had to lift a doghouse.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'll tell you, that doghouse was heavier than any tombstone. And that doghouse pretty much was the tombstone!

'''Dad:''' Sounds like you're fucking with me now.

'''Chris:''' I am not! I am being very HONEST with you sir! I'm telling you the honest truth from my, from my sound mind and my sound heart.

'''Dad:''' I'm starting to, I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole honesty thing you keep talking about. How do you think, how do you think Kacey would feel if I told her about this? What do you think, how do you think she would feel about you comparing this whole lifting a 30-, 50-pound doghouse to maybe a 100-, 200-pound tombstone? That doghouse was probably, what, made of wood? This is solid rock!

'''Chris:''' No, it was, it was, no, I mean, yeah, this is, it was wood ''and'' plastic, that thing had to weigh over a hundred pounds!

'''Dad:''' Plastic's pretty light, you know. I'm sorry, this is, this isn't even close to the same.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Dad:''' And that's just, that's just that...you know, if you had told this to Kacey, she would probably be, she would be so angry. You're just totally grasping at straws at this point.

'''Chris:''' [''mutters under his breath''] Yeah, well, also I've been to a whole bunch of this, also, to go off talk, off-topic a bit, or going back to an old topic, that I have been DECEIVED BY THE TROLLS! A bunch of them pretending to be women who I thought were honest over the internet when I was talking to them for the first time for a while!

'''Dad:''' WHO GIVES A SHIT about the internet?

'''Chris:''' And some, and some of them, and some of them were actually, and some of them were actually two honest women...

'''Dad:''' BE A MAN...

'''Chris:''' And those two women died! I was very, I was very heartbroken by that! And yet I was even more heartbroken when I found out that...

'''Dad:''' YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THESE PEOPLE!

'''Chris:''' I, I...I may not admit, okay, well, yes...

'''Dad:''' Wait, wait, didn't you say, fake women? Did you say that these women were fake? So wait, these women were probably fake...fake women died?

'''Chris:''' [''in a state of great consternation''] I didn't, I didn't...no! I'm talking about, no, two of them, a coup-, a few of them were real women.

'''Dad:''' And how many of these women have you gone through?

'''Chris:''' I have not been able to go to them. But one, there was this one time where I actually thought it was a woman, and I actually drove a whole, a whole, a whole day's worth back and forth, almost 24 hours, from my house to Cleveland, Ohio, where it turned out that was, that was, that was a bad lead. I drove a whole, I drove a whole, almost 20, I drove from five in the morning to 12 o'clock, to about, just after about, after midnight. To find out that the destination was a bad one, and that was, that was an imposterous troll.

'''Dad:''' So you went to go to...Ohio, for a fake woman, but my Kacey just told me that you won't go and visit her, a real woman?

'''Chris:''' I, I, I, I...[''angry, incoherent stammering'']

'''Dad:''' I am looking at Kacey right ''now''.

'''Chris:''' But you're in...

'''Dad:''' You wouldn't even go to D.C., that's like two hours away. And you've met her before, for God's sake?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean, I was more naïve, I was more naïve back then, but I am very less naïve now. I have been very less naïve for about, for about a year now.

'''Dad:''' I am not convinced.

'''Chris:''' [''He's snapping.''] OH COME ON. YOU SHOULD BE CONVINCED!

===The maggot manchild and shit starts to hit the fan===
'''Dad:''' [''Laughing with frustration''] "Oh come on"? You know who, you know who you're talking to, son? What the fuck is this? Now you're just talking back to me like a little kid. Don't yell at me, you maggot! Piece of shit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you, you're obviously talking to me like, as if I was a child. And I am not a child.

'''Dad:''' Because you are a child, you're acting like a child.

'''Chris:''' I am not a child, I am a MAN. I am a STRONG MAN. I have been through a whole bunch of emotional and physical traumas in my life!

'''Dad:''' You haven't proven a thing to me, you've shown me nothing that could even possibly suggest that you are a man.

'''Chris:''' Well, sometimes my memory fails me!

'''Dad:''' You're just sitting around in your parents' house, crying about your little dog, playing video games, whining about women on the internet. Some lazy little maggot...

'''Chris:''' [''Full-blown tard rage erupts.''] I AM NOT, I AM NOT LAZY!

'''Dad:''' You're living with your parents and you don't have a job, how is that not lazy?!

'''Chris:''' Well, maybe I, maybe I don't have a job, but I do work around the house! I lift a whole bunch of...

'''Dad:''' Chores! I do those every day, and I'm retired!

'''Chris:''' They're not just chores! They're not just chores.

'''Dad:''' Yes-they-are! EVERYONE works around the house.

'''Chris:''' Maybe everyone works around the house, but they don't, they differ from burden to burden to... [''stress sigh''] ...heavy weights! I mean...

'''Dad:''' I've seen, you know, I was looking around that YouTube, I saw [[Tour of Chris's House|a video of your house]]. It's a FUCKING MESS! You call that working around the house? Are you trying to be, and you're trying to be some kind of house-husband or something?

'''Chris:''' Well, most of that mess belongs to my mother and I can't really, I can't really organize it without her being able to help me, without her being able to point out where to put everything!

'''Dad:''' Oh, it's your mom's fault. That's real mature.

'''Chris:''' She's a, well, okay, yeah, I admit, she's a bit of a pack rat. And since she retired from secretarial work, she's been more lazy, I'll admit that.

'''Dad:''' But your room is a mess, too. What do you have to say about that? I mean, this is nothing. At this rate...

'''Chris:''' [''On the edge of tears''] It may be nothing, it may be, it may be nothing...

'''Dad:''' You're a pack rat too.

'''Chris:''' I am not a, I am not that bad of a pack rat. I mean, I even brought, I even brought a bunch, I even brought practically all that stuff into the house. And I had to bring in a couch and I had to bring in the hutch, among other pieces of furniture, among the smaller pieces of stuff, smaller bunches of junk that my mom got! That's a lot, that's a lot of heavy lifting. And it was very hard.

'''Dad:''' Who doesn't have to push furniture? All this stuff you're talking about, these heavy burdens sound like stuff everybody has to do at least at some point. This is nothing, this is just regular, everyday housework. This isn't real work. This is chores.

'''Chris:''' I...oh! And you don't think...!

'''Dad:''' This is kids' stuff.

'''Chris:''' Oh, and you don't think carrying your soldier friend on your back was a heavy burden? That was a heavy burden?

'''Dad:''' What...what the fu...are you mocking me?!

'''Chris:''' I am not mocking you!

'''Dad:''' Is this...are you comparing...

'''Chris:''' I'm just, I'm just pointing out, I'm just pointing out that what you did was a heavy burden under...

'''Dad:''' I don't know even know what to say to this!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, that is, yeah, that is a heavy burden because you were fighting to save, you were fighting to save your friend's life...

===Kacey returns===
'''Dad:''' Kacey, c'mon, come over here. You gotta listen to this guy. This is great.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, what's up, daddy?

'''Dad:''' What is...I mean...this guy is just fucking with me...

'''Kacey:''' Daddy, you sound mad, what's wrong?

'''Dad:''' This guy's just fucking with me, he's not even, he's not even respecting me at all. He's a disrespectful...

'''Kacey:''' What, he's disrespecting you? What is he doing?

'''Dad:''' I don't know, he's just talking about all this faggot kiddie shit. How he has to move chairs and do, oh no, housework! And he's comparing that to when your grandma died.

'''Kacey:''' He's WHAT?

'''Dad:''' Yeah. I mean, he's talking about all these "heavy burdens" he's had to face, you know, saying it's a heavy burden, kind of like...of course, you remember when we lost grandma...

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I know, I had to volunteer just to get my mind off it...

'''Dad:''' This guy has nothing to offer you.

'''Chris:''' [''He's still combative.''] I have a lot to offer her!

'''Dad:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' I have plenty to offer her!

'''Dad:''' Like what?!

'''Kacey:''' Don't yell at my father like that! You need to respect him, he's a retired Marine!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I do respect your father, Kacey.

'''Kacey:''' Well, you need to be nice to him! What are you going to do if he doesn't like you?

'''Chris:''' [''another sigh''] I mean, I want, I was being nice to him, but then he started to insult me, he was talking down to me like as if I was a child, when I'm an adult.

'''Dad:''' I already don't like...

'''Kacey:''' Chris! He's way older than you! He's your elder! To him, you are a child! I'm a child to him!

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I guess in compar-, I guess in comparison, yeah, that is true. But I just don't like being talked, I just feel, I just basically, just turns me off when I'm talked down to and such. I mean, I have to put up with my father talking down to me and such, and he starts more arguments than there are flies in the garbage dump!

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but my father doesn't get angry easily.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' You can't act like a child like that! He is your elder! You're trying to ask him PERMISSION.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

'''Kacey:''' What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Well...yeah...

'''Kacey:''' Apologize!

'''Chris:''' Yeah... [''heavy sigh''] Yeah. [''more sighing''] I apologize, Matthew. I apologize for talking back to you. I just got, I got, I got carried away. Especially from feeling like I was being talked down to. Mm...I mean, surely, yeah, you can understand that, I'm sure your father talked down to you, you, even when you were about my age. And I do not mean to insult you or your father, I just felt like it was a fair compar-, I just felt like it was a good comparison there, but anyway. I apologize for yelling at you, and raising my voice.

'''Dad:''' I don't even know how you think you can call me by my name right now.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Dad:''' I don't believe a goddamn word you just said. I'm sorry. No, I'm not sorry, actually.

'''Chris:''' Well...believe it or not, it is the whole, honest truth, that I have been telling you this whole time.

'''Dad:''' Honest. [''snort''] If that's the truth, I'm afraid to say you're pretty fucked. You're just using people from the internet as scapegoats for your problems. And you were lying when you first met Kacey. That's what I've gotten about this. You...are not good enough for my daughter. Chris, on the other hand, has my blessing.

'''Chris:''' [''massive stress sigh'']
===Literature and health===
'''Dad:''' And if the internet is such a problem for you, I mean, just get rid of it. What do you have to do? Just call up whoever it is, AOL, whatever it is you use, just call 'em and say "I don't want the internet anymore." That's all you have to do. You don't need it for anything. Go to a library!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a bunch...yeah, well, I have a bunch of ties on the internet and for your information I do go to libraries. I read a lot of books.

'''Dad:''' Really? What was the last book you read?

'''Chris:''' The last book I read...was ''To Kill a Mockingbird''.

'''Dad:''' That's high-school shit.

'''Chris:''' You call this high-school, I call it adult, I call it...

'''Dad:''' Kacey read that in high school, Kacey read that as a freshman in high school.

'''Chris:''' I call it adult drama.

'''Dad:''' An adult drama.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It was very dramatic, and I felt for the characters in that, in that story, just like I feel for every character, all the characters in the stor-, in the stories that I have read, throughout my whole life.

'''Dad:''' So what exactly did you learn from this book?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I...have...learned...that I have to be able to cope and be patient with, with a, with everybody who makes, a whole lot of people that may appear to be impatient or that could be hard to put up with. Like George had to put up with Lenny throughout the story. I mean, I'd say that's...

'''Dad:''' That's ''Of Mice and Men''.

'''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry, I'm getting my stories mixed up. Yeah. Yeah. ''To Kill a Mockingbird''. Yeah.

'''Dad:''' Yeeeaaaaah...did you even read this book?

'''Chris:''' Yes I did! The dramatic story, the story about that girl who was living with her family throughout the depression and there was that guy in the store who was nice enough to leave her gifts in the tree trunk. That was like, that was definitely a story of, like, definitely, you know, be kind to your neighbor and they'll, and they'll, and they'll be kind to you. That's still another kind of, another, it's another story where you have to learn to be patient...

'''Dad:''' That doesn't sound like the American classic that I know. I'm sorry. This is...just sounds like a bunch of horseshit. Do you remember the court scene?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, the what?

'''Dad:''' The court scene in the book? That was pretty big, it was a pretty major part of the book. Do you even remember who Atticus Finch was? That was probably the pivotal moment of the book.

'''Chris:''' Atticus...hm...Atticus...hm, I do believe that was the lawyer in that story.

'''Dad:''' Yesss...man, you call yourself smart? You aren't smart enough for Kacey. When did you read this?

'''Chris:''' I...I've read it, about a month ago.

'''Dad:''' A month ago.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Dad:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.

'''Chris:''' [''Rage button pushed''] Stuff...candy...don't...I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!

'''Dad:''' Wooooowww! [''laughs''] What the fuck are you talking about? I mean, I don't even know what the hell...

'''Chris:''' I eat and drink healthy.

'''Dad:''' And you look like that. You don't even know what I just said, do you? You completely missed that I was, that little analogy back there.

'''Chris:''' No, no, I...

'''Dad:''' Kacey says you eat McDonald's. You say you eat healthy, but you eat at McDonald's?

'''Chris:''' I have a, I have salads over at McDonald's. And I drink the lemonade over there.

'''Dad:''' That lemonade is full of sugar. You know, Chris is, Chris is fit, I've seen that man, he has rock-hard abs. That guy makes a Marine proud. And he can cook, he doesn't go to McDonald's because he doesn't need to.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can cook too! And sometimes I do cook!

'''Dad:''' You know, he and Kacey like to go running together. Why don't you go running with Kacey, rather than sitting around eating fast food all day?

'''Chris:''' I do go out, I do go out for jogs, sir. I do go out jogging. And if Kacey was here I would be happy to go jogging with her. Or even running, I'd be happy to do that as well.

'''Dad:''' You think you could do five miles like Kacey and Chris do? Five miles?

[[Image:208x228 Advice-CWC-I-JOG-FIVE-MILES-A-DAY.jpg|thumb|Yep!]]

'''Chris:''' Yep!

'''Dad:''' That's a brisk jog.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I could do five miles with Kacey.

'''Dad:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Dad:''' Someone who looks like you can run five miles? I'm sorry, that's bullshit.

'''Chris:''' You're...[''angry sigh'']

'''Dad:''' You look like you couldn't even do five seconds running. In fact, I was watching, I was watching those push-ups, you got winded after...that was 30 seconds of push-ups and you were sweating like a pig.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] Well, wouldn't you sweat?

'''Dad:''' I don't...with that much...? Fuck, that's nothing.

'''Chris:''' WARRIORS, WARRIORS...

'''Dad:''' I'm a Marine. Not after...a few push-ups like that? That's nothing. Okay, but...how much and how often do you jog? I sweat maybe...maybe after, I don't know, 10 miles on a hot day.

'''Chris:''' I have been jogging for about 15 minutes on a daily basis.

'''Dad:''' 15 minutes. So you go...you go, what, a quarter of a mile and you call it quits? That's pussy shit. And that's just jogging. Kacey could run, Kacey runs for at least an hour.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's good.

'''Dad:''' Five miles is like a two-hour jog, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a, I have a whole bunch of potential, I can run five miles with Kacey.

'''Dad:''' I would love to see that. I mean, why don't you? You can't...you say you could. You're just saying you have potential. That doesn't sell me. You can't sell me with "potential." Why don't you run five miles, and maybe, maybe I'll think otherwise.

'''Chris:''' It would be hard to video, to videorecord five mile running. But I can run five miles, with Kacey.

'''Dad:''' You "can"?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I can! And I will the first chance I get!

'''Dad:''' But why with Kacey, though, why can't you just do it on your own? You have a camera, don't you? It wouldn't be so hard to just hold a camera and run, would it? That's easily, easily do-able.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Dad:''' Why don't you just figure out how to do that? You said you're good with computers. I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.

'''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?

'''Dad:''' Don't...[''sputters'']...don't patronize me.

'''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?

'''Dad:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that. I could figure out how to hold a camera and fuckin' run for five miles. That's...how could you not figure out how to do that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, think about this, do you think the batteries would be able to last five miles?

'''Dad:''' Running? Shit. You're running, you're not jogging, it's not gonna take two hours.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, yeah, well...yeah, well, I can't...

'''Dad:''' Besides, think of it as a time limit of some sort, you know? You gotta run fast enough so you can get all of it in before the batteries run out. That would take like...half an hour at most. Batteries last that long.

'''Chris:''' Alright, so a half hour running? I'll be happy to do a half hour of running with my digital camera.

'''Dad:''' [''laughs''] Fine. Show me.

'''Chris:''' Alright, I will.

'''Dad:''' Until then, until then, you are not good enough for Kacey. You are just a maggot.

'''Chris:''' Well. You may call me a maggot, but I'm a pretty dang strong one.

'''Dad:''' I'm gonna go talk to Kacey, I gotta tell her, you do not deserve Kacey. Kacey lifts more than you, how does that feel? The strong man outdone by a woman.

'''Chris:''' Well I may not feel pleasant, if that was the case, then I could not say I did not try.

'''Dad:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' But I...
===Liquid Chris and minimum wage jobs===
'''Dad:''' While you're at it, you don't, you don't try, if you had tried you would have gotten out of your house, you would have gotten a job, you would have...you would be like Chris.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Yeah, well, I am much stronger and I am much better than Chris.

'''Dad:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' Oh, yes I am!

'''Dad:''' But why don't you have, you don't have a job! You're not stronger than Chris, you're not smarter than Chris.

'''Chris:''' I am stronger and I am smarter than Chris!

'''Dad:''' You're not living on your own. How can you even say that? And he's younger than you!

'''Chris:''' I say that because it's true.

'''Dad:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' You do not think so...you may not think so...

'''Dad:''' I was so happy, when Kacey said she was going to marry Chris. But then, I don't know, he vanished or something, I don't know what happened...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that would be the point where he made his video on YouTube where he pretended he was being kidnapped and then that's where he hid away for a number of, for a few months.

'''Dad:''' Yeah, and that devastated her. You don't know how much she missed him.

'''Chris:''' I do, I do, because she has shared that with me.

'''Dad:''' I mean, I would much rather believe him...

'''Chris:''' She has shared that with me and I have comforted the her. I have emotionally supported her.

'''Dad:''' I don't think she... she wasn't nearly that, I don't think she was nearly as happy as when the police finally called her about that. I think you're just trying to get, I think you're just trying to get my little Kacey for a booty call.

'''Chris:''' Believe me sir, it would not just be for a booty call, it would be for a strong relationship with all the loyalty and trust and honesty that a woman can ever want. [''shifts to a momentous tone, half under his breath''] EVER.

 '''Dad:''' But you can't even move out. She needs a man, a man who can support himself and keep a job. You got fired from Wendy's, most people quit because it sucks. You got FIRED. You weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Wendy's. What are you gonna do, what are you gonna do if she gets pregnant and she can't work?

'''Chris:''' If she gets pregnant and can't work, then I would be working. I would be working VERY HARD AND HEAVILY.

'''Dad:''' What kind of job?

'''Chris:''' If I have to I would be, get one of the heavyweights, that just moves the boxes around the, stock the shelves at a grocery store. At the least. If not better.

'''Dad:''' That makes minimum wage at best. That's not a real job. You know how much minimum wage is?

'''Chris:''' At the current rate, it's about eight dollars an hour.

'''Dad:''' That's not good enough! Get a good job! You can't live off that! Especially after taxes.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I can get a good job, and I will.

'''Dad:''' If you want to do lifting you go work in a warehouse or something. And last I checked, minimum wage was $7.25.

'''Chris:''' [''takes a contemptuous tone''] Huh! You must have checked, no offense, but you must have checked like five years ago. [''In fact, [[Wikipedia:List of U.S. minimum wages|Matt is correct]].'']

'''Dad:''' And how would you know? You don't have a job!

'''Chris:''' Because it was over five years ago, I was working for that minimum wage, and that was $7.50.

'''Dad:''' That wasn't minimum wage.

'''Chris:''' Yes it was. And that was back at Wa-Wendy's!

'''Dad:''' You know you can get paid more at jobs than minimum wage? I just looked it up right now, it says $7.25.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Maybe that's average minimum wage.

'''Dad:''' Don't lie to me. Look...

'''Chris:''' I am not lying to you.

'''Dad:''' Kacey, come on, Kacey, come over here, listen to this horseshit, ''listen to this horseshit''.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' What's wrong now, daddy?

'''Dad:''' What's this he's talking about...minimum wage is $7.25, right?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. It went up in July, I remember because it was around my birthday.

'''Dad:''' This guy's lying again. Why is it...I'm looking right here on this webpage, that's exactly what it says.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it happened on July 24, that was like...

'''Dad:''' Why does this guy keep lying to me? How do I know that anything he says is true?

'''Chris:''' I stand corrected! I stand corrected. On current minimum wage.

'''Dad:''' Don't argue with me.

'''Chris:''' Alright.
===Respect and listening skills===
'''Kacey:''' Is he being disrespectful again, daddy?

'''Dad:''' He's always been...he's been disrespectful this whole time.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] I have not been lying!

'''Dad:''' When Kacey says it, when Kacey says it you believe it now.

'''Kacey:''' I just don't understand.

'''Dad:''' I don't understand either.

'''Chris:''' I can't say I'm in full understanding either.

'''Kacey:''' That doesn't even make sense. Like, I shouldn't have to pick up the other line and have to hear this. I mean, what are you doing, are you trying to sabotage this?

'''Chris:''' No. Just, throughout, throughout this whole conversation I have been telling the honest truth, from memory. As far as I know.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but this doesn't make sense. Like, Chris charmed my dad within five minutes. Why are you still fighting with him? Why are you lying to my father?

'''Chris:''' I have not been lying to your father. I have been telling him the truth throughout my best and honest knowledge. From my heart and from my head.

'''Kacey:''' What are you wanting me to think, that you're dumb or something?

'''Chris:''' I...wh...no. [''pause''] I, I...[''drowned out by Kacey'']

'''Kacey:''' Well, then what's going on?! Why does my dad look so upset? I haven't seem him this upset in a long time.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can't read, I cannot read his mind, so...

'''Kacey:''' Well, no, no-one expects you to, but you could be respectful to him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, uhm, I mean, yeah, I was doing my best to be respectful. But then...and then he started, he started...

'''Kacey:''' My dad is not going to lie to me, and obviously whenever I get on the phone you're calm and everything, so is something going on when I'm not on the phone? Like are you being two-faced?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation. I swear, hand to God.

'''Kacey:''' You shouldn't do that, we don't swear to God, and my dad wouldn't lie to me.

'''Dad:''' One-faced side of bullshit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he's been contradicting me, and talking to me in a negative way...

'''Kacey:''' Okay, you guys, I'm going to go. Talk nice.

'''Chris:''' I have been, I have been, I was talking nice. And then he started contradicting me with those words, like, yeah, and, uh, hm, and put, and putting me down, like even call, even call, even calling me a pussy, or, among other things. And then that, and then that just...grinded my gears.

'''Dad:''' You know, Kacey is gone. She's not listening right now. She didn't hear anything you just said.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Portal Turret:''' Target lost.

'''Dad:''' Stop sighing so much.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm speechless at the moment.

'''Dad:''' Didn't you just hear, she...hear her say she was getting off?

'''Chris:''' Uhh...hear her say she was getting off?

'''Dad:''' Do you pay attention to anything? Ever? To the words that I am saying?

'''Chris:''' I, I'm, I do pay attention. But I, I did not hear "I'm getting off."

'''Dad:''' This is...this, do you even listen to her at all? How can you be a good boyfriend? You don't listen to anything.

'''Chris:''' I, I do, I do listen! And I, and ob-, obviously, she must have said it in a quiet tone, because I did not hear it. [''Actually Chris was talking over her at the time, but never mind.'']

'''Dad:''' But this is...she was pretty upset. She wasn't that quiet.

'''Chris:''' W...well, I'm sorry she's upset.

'''Dad:''' And now, what I'm saying right now, is that before you can say you are better than Chris, you need to get a job, you need to move out from your parents, you need to be independent. You need to show me that you're a man. And you...you also have to have the ability to not lie to me. I'm getting all tongue-tied, because...just...you don't know how frustrating this is. I mean, I haven't done that in years.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I agree with you, this is frustrating.

'''Dad:''' And you are lucky her mother isn't here.

'''Chris:''' And I pro-, and I send...I promise you. I have not been lying.

'''Dad:''' How is this, how is this frustrating to you? You sound like you just have the easiest life in the world.

'''Chris:''' Because, because, because, because you're, because you're frustrated, and your frustration is reflecting onto me and it's making me feel frustrated. It's making me feel frustrated.
===Chris's pathetic life and diseased ticker===
'''Dad:''' You sit around...what are you going to do after this? You're gonna go home, you're gonna go play video games again or something?

'''Chris:''' No...

'''Dad:''' Nobody can get you to do anything. Play your Pokeymans, watch TV. Sleep. Eat McDonald's. That's, that's your life.

'''Chris:''' That is not my life.

'''Dad:''' Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' It's a lot, it's a lot more than that. I do a lot more than...

'''Dad:''' Oh, yeah, I forgot, you do chores, too.

'''Chris:''' See, this, you know, this is why I was talking to Kacey about...

'''Dad:''' You talk and you get angry at people on the internet who you've never seen before.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, see, right now you're just...you're just saying some, saying some of the things that sit aside from the good for me, honest, from, aside from the good things, yeah, everything I've said, I have been, I have been very honest about, and you're just taking the bad pieces that can, you're just taking some of that honesty and you're just reflecting it onto me and, you're just making it sound bad. Like it's a bad thing. And that makes me feel bad.

'''Dad:''' It IS a bad thing. What good qualities do you have that aren't LIES? You started this whole relationship on a lie. My daughter doesn't deserve that. And now you're blaming me for all this that's going on.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna, could you just, look, okay, well, you did not let me say that...

'''Dad:''' You just met me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, I'm talking to you over the phone, that is [''dissolves into gibberish momentarily'']...

'''Dad:''' You don't...it just sounds like you don't want to admit any of your faults. You just...

'''Chris:''' I am, I am happy to admit my faults.

'''Dad:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Okay, well, for one, sometimes, I don't think things through and I make, end up in the decision I thought was good at first may end up being the bad decision.

'''Dad:''' O...kay?

'''Chris:''' But yeah, I have been improving on that and thinking things through fully. Making sure that...

'''Dad:''' Everyone does that, everyone, you know, makes a mistake every now and then. Okay?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Dad:''' Let's start with something easy. Let's tell me...tell me...how about you admit that you're, well, okay, I'll just say it. FAT. And lazy.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I admit I do have a Buddha belly, but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy.

'''Dad:''' Doesn't show at all. How often do you watch TV? And you said you jog for 15 minutes. That's...that's not gonna burn calories.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'm working up to 30 minutes.

'''Dad:''' 30 minutes. And compared to...how does this compare to how much TV you watch?

'''Chris:''' For your information, I watch only about four hours of television.

'''Dad:''' Four hours of television.

'''Chris:''' In a day.

'''Dad:''' A day. That...I don't think that's true. That just doesn't sound, you kinda paused right there? You sound like you actually had to think about it for a second. I don't think that's true.

'''Chris:''' Well, when I had to count it up, I did have to think about it. But yes, it is true, I watch four hours of television in a day.

'''Dad:''' Four hours, that's still quite a bit, hasn't Kacey told you anything about how important it is to take care of yourself?

'''Chris:''' Yes, we have, we have talked about that. And I have listened to her about that, and I have been taking the appropriate steps and abiding with her words in mind and heeding her advice as such.

'''Dad:''' Really...because she's still pretty worried about you, she says. She think something's gonna happen to you, you know. She thinks it's not looking good. And didn't she, she told me you were on Lipitor?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Dad:''' I mean, I know about that stuff. That's something people my age take. I don't take it myself, but I know people who do.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, for your information, my doctor got me off, took me off Lipitor a couple of months ago.

'''Dad:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Dad:''' I still don't think you...you still don't sound like you're terribly healthy. Okay, watching TV aside, and you play video games, how long do you do that a day, huh? I mean, with how much you sit around, your metabolism must not be so hot.

'''Chris:''' How long...do I sit around? I would not say that I sit around that much. I would say...

'''Dad:''' And play...okay, how much do you play video games?

'''Chris:''' About two hours in a day.

'''Dad:''' Two hours a day.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Dad:''' Okay, so that's at least six hours you spend sitting around doing absolutely nothing in your room. That's a quarter of a day. In six hours you could have worked a part-time job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I, but, the time I do not spend in front of the television is the time I spend exercising. That's about half of the day.

'''Dad:''' You do not spend half of a day exercising. If you spent half a day exercising, you would have at least lost that little Buddha belly and those man-tits of yours.

'''Chris:''' Okay, now I'm feeling insulted with those, with what you just said there.

'''Dad:''' And you just told me 15 minutes, so you're lying again.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, maybe, yeah, well, 15 minutes jogging, upon the pacing of the spacing of the jogging.

'''Dad:''' Okay, so you don't even run 15 minutes altogether, at one time?

'''Chris:''' It's 15, they're, 15 minutes, they're 15-minute intervals, like I do 15 minutes in one hour, then the next hour I do another 15 minutes of jogging.

'''Dad:''' But that doesn't help you at all. All that...that means there's 45 minutes of you doing nothing every hour. By then your heart rate has gone down, the exercise is gonna do nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' My heart rate has been, has been good.

'''Dad:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I can guarantee that.

'''Dad:''' Do you even know what you're talking about?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I do, I am talking...

'''Dad:''' Do you even know how to check your heart rate?

'''Chris:''' Yes I do.

'''Dad:''' Okay, how?

'''Chris:''' I put my fingers on my pulse, count the number of beats through ten seconds, and then I multiply by six. That's, that's...

'''Dad:''' Where do you check for your pulse?

'''Chris:''' Put two fingers on my wrist or on my neck. Or put it on my chest where my heart is.

'''Dad:''' Okay, so what's a good heart rate for you?

'''Chris:''' About 72 beats per minute.

'''Dad:''' 72 beats per minute.

'''Chris:''' To about 100 beats per minute.

'''Dad:''' Uh-huh. So what's your heart rate right now?

'''Chris:''' Alright... [''long silence''] Alright, let me find that...yeah. It's approximately, it is approximately 84 right now.

'''Dad:''' 84 from just sitting around?

'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I've been listening. Chris, that's a serious medical condition. What are you talking about? Normally your heart doesn't beat that fast unless you've done exercise.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Kacey:''' That's like arrhythmia or tachycardia. What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, right, you know, well, I did get a little bit of stress from some of the conversation.

'''Kacey:''' Stress doesn't do that. That's like a serious medical condition. And I heard you talk to my dad, you don't listen to anything I say when I worry about you. You still go to McDonald's, and I told you those salads aren't healthy. I bet you haven't even lost one pound. Don't you care that I think you're gonna die? [''Chris stammers briefly in response''] That you're probably going to lose motion in your body if you don't exercise enough? This is important to me!

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It is.

'''Kacey:''' What're you going to do? You're gonna die before you're 30.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hm. [''pause, then sigh'']

'''Dad:''' Hmph.

'''Kacey:''' If anything, that means you have way too much caffeine in your system. If you have something that high. That's either, you can get that from smoking, from too much fat, from too much caffeine...

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' [''Her voice breaks, on the verge of crying.''] It's like you don't even care! Dad was right, you are being disrespectful!

'''Chris:''' [''Attempting to sound empathetic''] Kacey, I do care. [''sigh''] Even though, even though it may not, even though it may shot 'n I've shot, I do care. Believe me.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. Because it's that hard for you to stop going to McDonald's. But you've still been going. Right?

'''Chris:''' I have been going less.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like I didn't...less is not none! Fast food is bad! Period at the end!

'''Chris:''' [''On the defensive''] Yeah, but that was like once a week! Once in a week!

'''Kacey:''' Once a week is bad! Don't eat any! None!

'''Chris:''' Alright, I won't go there anymore. I won't go McDonald's anymore.

'''Kacey:''' Or any fast food!

'''Chris:''' Alright. I will not go to any fast food, I...

'''Kacey:''' Whatever. It's not like you haven't lied to me before. You're just probably lying to me now. Dad, I can't deal with this anymore...

'''Chris:''' I'M NOT LYING TO YOU! I promise you! I promise you! I promise you, Kacey. I promise you.

'''Dad:''' She's gone again.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']
===Chris blows it, but he's an American!===
'''Dad:''' She was pretty, ah...let's say you just blew it, man. She was, she was crying right there. You just fuckin' blew it. Big-time.

'''Chris:''' [''deep sigh'']

'''Dad:''' I just heard the door slam. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes and calls Chris.

'''Chris:''' Hmph. Well...

'''Dad:''' What do you have to say for yourself? [''Long silence ensues'']

'''Chris:''' Well, all I can say is...that's your opinion, and you have every right to your own opinion.

'''Dad:''' It's not my opinion. It just happened. What the hell are you talking about? I'm talking about facts.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you're talking about, yes you are talking about facts, but you have expressed a whole bunch of your own opinions about what you've heard from me the whole conversation.

'''Dad:''' And that's all you have to say about the fact that you just upset my daughter? What are you...

'''Chris:''' That's my response, that's my response about you, but as for Kacey, you know, I just feel, I just feel very sad for her.

'''Dad:''' I don't care what you have to say about me. This is about, you should care about Kacey, not me! You have to do something big.

'''Chris:''' I care about Kacey. I really, truly do.

'''Dad:''' Okay. But if you want my opinion right now, I think you should stay away from my daughter. Unless you really, REALLY turn around your life. You're not even close to Chris right now. You have to do something big to get her back. You have to get a job, at the very least. Lose, I dunno, 50 pounds. Move out. Then I might consider you, MAYBE.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Dad:''' And you have to keep your promises, because she says you never do.

'''Chris:''' I do keep my promises.

'''Dad:''' And I think she should be with her real fiancé right now. [''Long silence''] I mean, he treats her like a princess. You treat her like...a set of tits and ass.

'''Chris:''' No, I treat her like a princess as well. I treat her, more importantly...as a friend...a true friend, a good friend...

'''Dad:''' That doesn't sound like it at all.

'''Chris:''' You don't know. I mean...

'''Dad:''' I do know. Because she talks to me.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well...points of view.

'''Dad:''' I can't even stand your voice. So whiny, all this sighing, it's like a baby. You'll never be as good as Chris at this rate.

'''Chris:''' I am a lot better than Chris. Belieeeeeeeeve me.

'''Dad:''' You're not even a functioning human. You're leeching off my government.

'''Chris:''' I have a functioning image...

'''Dad:''' I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this?

'''Chris:''' I...am an American! I am proud to be an American and I am STRONG. I am an individual...

[Portal can again be heard faintly in the background]

'''Dad:''' Don't tell, don't tell me you're an American.

[Portal can again be heard]

'''Chris:''' I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.

'''Dad:''' You can't tell me you're patriotic...if you were patriotic you wouldn't even have thought about making that video, that 9/11 video. I still can't believe why you made that. It doesn't matter. You don't... do that! You're not acting like a patriot, you're acting more like a terrorist.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry I gave off that impression. At least I, at least I was man enough to admit I was wrong and I am, I did my best to undo the mistake by deleting my video, and making the apology.

'''Dad:''' You know, Chris and Kacey are Americans too. And "sorry" doesn't undo the fact that you made that video.

===Chris's love and memory===
'''Chris:''' It may not, but at least I admitted I was wrong. And it takes a man to admit when he is wrong.

'''Dad:''' And you still made it. You...you're not a man. Stop trying to call yourself a man. I mean, it takes a real man to change, and you haven't.

'''Chris:''' I do change my habits. I have been changing my habits. And I have been better from the habits I have changed.

'''Dad:''' That's a lie. You haven't done shit.

'''Chris:''' I...I have done a lot more than you can, than you are thinking right now. Or that you could ever think at this moment.

'''Dad:''' You said you stopped at a McDonald's, and you didn't...that's such a simple little thing, and you still lied about it. You can't stop eating fast food. What makes you think you can turn around and get a job and stop leeching off the government? And stop lying to Kacey?

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] Because...I am me, I have faith in me, and I am strong within myself.

'''Dad:''' I bet you don't even love Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey!

'''Dad:''' I bet if Kacey left you right now, right this very moment, you would...you'd probably cry, for maybe just a couple seconds, then you'd go out and find another girl on the internet.

'''Chris:''' [[The Wallflower|No!]]

'''Dad:''' Wouldn't you? And even if you do love Kacey, you don't love Kacey nearly as much as Chris loves Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey, truly and deeply. And I care about her, about that much, probably more.

'''Dad:''' And so does Chris, and he can prove it, so why don't you? You can't even stop eating McDonald's for her.

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] I can so prove it, and I will.

'''Dad:''' God. You know, he knows her favorite color, and her favorite flower. I'm sure you don't.

'''Chris:''' Her favorite color is "tarquoise".

'''Dad:''' Turquoise? That's...that's wrong.

'''Chris:''' It's a blue-green shade. ''[Chris is correct here, at least. On his [http://pastebin.com/8FxWDZq6 creepy date] with Kacey, she said her favorite color was [[Wikipedia:Teal (color)|teal]].]''

'''Dad:''' Okay, favorite flower.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I cannot say that I, I cannot say that I remember her favorite flower at the moment.

'''Dad:''' Aha. Really.

'''Chris:''' It could have been maybe because she did not mention her favorite flower yet. But she did tell me her favorite color. It was a shade, it was a blue-green shade. So turquoise is ''close''.

'''Dad:''' Can you remember anything? Okay, I bet you don't even remember some of the stuff I just said today. You probably don't even remember who in my family dies in 9/11, do you? I just said that, what, half an hour ago?

'''Chris:''' You, you said that your daughter, that your daughter was giving blood in New York, right by the 9/11 site.

'''Dad:''' Okay, but who DIED, who of my family died in 9/11?

'''Chris:''' The grandma.

'''Dad:''' My grandma?

'''Chris:''' Her grandmother.

'''Dad:''' Who is?

'''Chris:''' You did not mention her name.

'''Dad:''' No...[''exasperated sigh'']...no, okay, her grandmother, who is...?

'''Chris:''' Your mother.

'''Dad:''' How long did that just take you? Good boy! God, this is just like talking to a preschooler.

===Matthew crosses the line and Chris's reaction time===
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, talking to a what?

'''Dad:''' A preschooler. God. This is...man. You can't have Kacey, with this kind of, this is just ridiculous. I can't believe I'm talking to someone who's so...[[naïve]].

'''Chris:''' [''angry intake of breath''] You just crossed a line. You just crossed a line. By saying the word "naïve." That is like the worst insult to me...

'''Dad:''' What line?

'''Chris:''' A line. You crossed the line. You've just...you just really ticked me off right there when you said that.

'''Dad:''' What're you gonna do about it?

'''Chris:''' Nothing at the moment.

'''Dad:''' "Nothing at the moment"?

'''Chris:''' Because I can't really do anything, I'm not right there in front of you, now, am I? I'm talking to you over the phone. The only thing I could do right now is let you know that you just crossed a line. By saying that word.

'''Dad:''' Are you...wait, wait, wait a minute, are you trying to threaten me? You trying to threaten an ex-Marine?

'''Chris:''' No, I...no, I am not threatening you, I am not threatening you. I am in no position to threaten an ex-Marine. And I understand that, and I respect you as such.

'''Dad:''' Okay, so what are you saying? I could whoop your naïve little ass with my pinky if I wanted to. Kacey could whoop your ass! I'm surprised she hasn't already.

'''Chris:''' Well. I would be able to defend myself.

'''Dad:''' So you would hit Kacey?

'''Chris:''' No, I would not hit Kacey.

'''Dad:''' Have you ever defended yourself?

'''Chris:''' I have defended myself.

'''Dad:''' [''exhales in disbelief''] I'm sure that was something to see. Have you...I mean, I'm sure, I can see what would just happen. She'd probably try to throw a punch and you'd just bounce her off with your Buddha belly. Or so you call it.

'''Chris:''' I would either step to one side or block it with an arm!

'''Dad:''' [''laughs''] That little limp-wristed twig of yours? You're pretty big, but you've got some pretty scrawny arms. And you're a pretty big target, she'd be...pretty hard to miss you. I've seen her punches.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Dad:''' I don't think you'd be able to react fast enough.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you have not seen how I can, how fast I can react.

'''Dad:''' You can't even react fast enough to what I'm saying.

'''Chris:''' Because I'd like to spellcheck, and make sure I'm not making any mistakes. Make sure that my mind and my mouth are in sync.

'''Dad:''' Making...mistakes...?

'''Chris:''' My mouth does not go faster than my mind.

'''Dad:''' What are you even...?

'''Chris:''' That's another, that is another one of my flaws, I am willing to admit. Sometimes my mouth goes faster than my brain.

'''Dad:''' Well, I bet that's not the only thing that goes faster than your brain. Are you trying to say you're some kind of computer or something? But this is, you're getting completely off the point. So tell me why, exactly, you aren't [[naïve]]? Why is this crossing the line so much?

'''Chris:''' Because it's insulting my intelligence.

'''Dad:''' What line did I cross exactly?

'''Chris:''' And I do not appreciate that. You made me feel...anger.

'''Dad:''' Because you haven't proven your intelligence to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though most of the time I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.

'''Dad:''' Okay... Here's how intelligent you really are, and that's because being naïve has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence.

'''Chris:''' Look it up in the dictionary.

'''Dad:''' I have looked it up in the dictionary. It has nothing to do with intelli...what are you talking about? What dictionary are you looking in?

'''Chris:''' Webster's.

'''Dad:''' Webster's. You know, I'm sure, if you think naïve has to do with...I'm sure your "autism" is just some sort of blanket term for "retarded" for you. Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments. But I am certainly not ''totally'' retarded.

'''Dad:''' No. I'm looking at my dictionary, you know what "naïve" means? It means "inexperienced." Not "unintelligent." I shouldn't be calling you naïve, I should just be calling you a dumbass. But you are naïve as well.

===Experience and respect===
'''Chris:''' I've got a lot more experience than you could imagine.

'''Dad:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I have had 27 years of experience.

'''Dad:''' With what? Eating McDonald's and watching TV? Son, Chris is younger than you, and he has had far more experiences than you have. And I've had 52 years of experience.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, how about being pinned down by three teachers, a guidance counselor, and an elementary school...prinstapull...and having your screams and cries recorded on audiotape like a torture chamber?

'''Dad:''' The hell are you talking about?

'''Chris:''' And have, I was pretty much in that situation there in, back in the fourth grade. They were scared of, scared of...

'''Dad:''' What did you do, some kind of temper tantrum?

'''Chris:''' No, they were scared of me. They did not understand autism.

'''Dad:''' So, what, you just had some kind of retard panic attack and they didn't know what to do?

'''Chris:''' I, it was not a retard, no. It was not! They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. I even ended up with a rash on my neck from that thing, among other things! And we had to find a school system, they wanted to put me in a mental institution! But that was not...

'''Dad:''' Because you NEED HELP. That's probably where you belong! And you call the other, you call Chris crazy...this is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' I do not belong in a mental...if I had gone to a mental institution, I would not have graduated high school or gotten my certificate and degree in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. I've moved up from what you would consider a retarded state of mind.

'''Dad:''' I know retards with college degrees. They probably felt sorry for you. They probably just kinda let you through, that's probably what happened.

'''Chris:''' [''Angry stress sigh, or perhaps spluttering with rage'']

'''Dad:''' You know schools do that. And those other, I call them retards, but really, they're pretty good people. They actually did something with their degrees, believe it or not. People with Down's syndrome have done more than you. And that degree has don nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' It has done a lot, it has done a lot for me. It's given me the whole bunch of computer experience and potential that I have. And I will get an office job, and I will move out of this house, and I will run five miles!

'''Dad:''' But you haven't done any of that. If you're gonna say it, then do it.

'''Chris:''' I would not be saying it if I was not going to do it. That is a promise.

'''Dad:''' You better do it before Kacey runs back to a real man.

'''Chris:''' Okay then.

'''Dad:''' Because I'm thinking that's going to happen pretty soon here. 27 years and you haven't changed.

'''Chris:''' Well, she did, she and I did not meet 27 years ago, she and I met a few months ago.

'''Dad:''' And you...and you haven't, she wasn't alive 27 years ago. That doesn't even make any sense.

'''Chris:''' Well, what you said there a moment ago equally did not make much sense either. That was like you were implying, like as if she actually knew me my whole 27 years.

'''Dad:''' This is insulting to my intelligence, talking to you. You've shown me nothing but disrespect.

'''Chris:''' I have, I have...

'''Dad:''' I'm sure you show Kacey hardly any more respect than you show me. I've been trying to open your eyes here.

'''Chris:''' I have shown you respect from the lot, for a while during the conversation.

'''Dad:''' This is the kind of respect you show me, I would hate to see the kind of respect you show Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I show Kacey a lot of respect.

'''Dad:''' You probably don't even respect her as a person...

'''Chris:''' I do res...I do respect her as a person!

===Chris is creepy and bad at dating===
'''Dad:''' You know, her sister said you kept trying to touch her when you met her.

'''Chris:''' Because I was nervous at the time!

'''Dad:''' You were NERVOUS? What the hell kind of response is that? You're nervous, so you try to touch, so you try to touch a girl? What the hell? That's...that's...that's just sick! That's my daughter, you're trying to touch a girl, you're trying to touch my daughter because you're nervous? Most people try to avoid touching people when they're nervous. Gah, I can't believe I just heard that, I should come and kick your ass right now!

'''Chris:''' I only touched her shoulder! I thought it was a friend gesture!

'''Dad:''' Her shoulder? You know, that didn't...I heard otherwise, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry too.

'''Dad:''' Did you try to kiss her?

'''Chris:''' No!

'''Dad:''' Bullshit. She told her sister about what you did. I know. Are you telling me that Kacey lied?

'''Chris:''' I am not saying that. I am not saying that.

'''Dad:''' You trying to tell me that...I heard you did all kinds of other weird shit. You tried to sniff her or something?

'''Chris:''' She was sharing her perfumes with me.

'''Dad:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' She wanted my, she wanted my opinion on which perfume smelled better.

'''Dad:''' She gave it to you, she said she gave it to you in the bottle first. You could have just opened the bottle and sniffed, you didn't have to sniff ''her'' to do it. That's a little creepy.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, she wanted the perfume, she wanted me to give an honest opinion about...on her.

'''Dad:''' You did it in front of her and her friend. Have you ever done this before? Is this something you do when you meet girls?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, could you, could you, ah, repeat that?

'''Dad:''' Have you...have you ever done this before, to another girl?

'''Chris:''' Mm...yeah, well, we've been talking about the sniffing thing. I just want to make sure I understand what we're talking about here.

'''Dad:''' Yes...anything, any of this creepy....shit. This touching, this kissing, that I've been told you try to do.

'''Chris:''' Well...first off I can definitely, honestly say that I have not kissed a girl yet...

'''Dad:''' TRIED.

'''Chris:''' Or even tried to.

'''Dad:''' ''Really''?

'''Chris:''' Truly.

'''Dad:''' Yeah, I don't believe, I don't believe a word of that. How many dates have you even been on?

'''Chris:''' In my lifetime? Only one.

'''Dad:''' Only one.

'''Chris:''' And this was a few months ago. Before I met Kacey.

'''Dad:''' Before you met Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Dad:''' And how did that turn out? How did she act towards you? What did she think of you?

'''Chris:''' It turned out that girl just wasn't all that into me.

'''Dad:''' I mean, Kacey met you around August, that was a couple of months ago. So how far along was this?

'''Chris:''' That one date was back in, was last June.

'''Dad:''' And now why exactly do you think she wasn't interested in you?

'''Chris:''' I don't know. I am not a mind-reader.

'''Dad:''' So you can't think of a single reason why she might not have been interested in you?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I can honestly say that I cannot.

'''Dad:''' You can't think of...I can think of a couple reasons right off the bat, why a girl would not have been into you. I don't even need to think about it. I mean...I mean, you can't even take them on a real date.

'''Chris:''' I took her on a real date. I took her to Applebee's, and I paid for her, for what she ate and what she drank there.

'''Dad:''' You paid for her. And how much was that?

'''Chris:''' That was about ten dollars.

'''Dad:''' Ten dollars.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Dad:''' That's...ten dollars for dinner. Are you sure you just didn't go to McDonald's again?

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] No, this was APPLEBEE'S. And Kim was there, she could the same, she could tell you the same thing.

'''Dad:''' So where would you take Kacey? She's a pretty high-class girl. I'm sure you probably didn't even tip.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I did not understand the second half of that sentence, after you said "Kacey is a high-class girl."

'''Dad:''' I said you probably didn't even tip. So where exactly are you going to take Kacey?

'''Chris:''' Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, I did tip.

'''Dad:''' You even know how much you're supposed to tip.

'''Chris:''' About 15 or 20 percent.

'''Dad:''' So how much did you tip, then, if you paid 10 dollars?

'''Chris:''' I tipped a buck fifty.

'''Dad:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Dad:''' That's still pretty cheap. You know, Kacey probably wouldn't like that if you tipped her that much. You know she's a waitress, right? Tips are pretty important to waitresses.

'''Chris:''' Yep, I understand that, tips are important. But still, 15 percent of 10 is a dollar fifty.

'''Dad:''' That's true. Okay, so how much would you tip if you paid, say, 80 dollars for dinner? Which is very possible, if you go to the kind of places Kacey likes to go.

'''Chris:''' Hm...let's see...that would be about 12 dollars.

'''Dad:''' So you would pay just 12 dollars, you wouldn't go up to, like, you wouldn't even just toss them a twenty or something? Can you even do math?

'''Chris:''' Well, I cannot say that my family is of the high-class, hoity-toity, rich type, type of people. We are on average income.

'''Dad:''' You could at least...they're not rich either. They still left a twenty.

'''Chris:''' Well...good for them.

'''Dad:''' You're not even on an income. Income would be, like, you actually have a job. Man, Chris treats her so much better than you, shows her so much more respect.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I give you respect throughout the beginning of the conversation.

'''Dad:''' You've given me nothing.

'''Chris:''' And then, and then, I started to feel insulted, from being, from being talked down about, about the things I've talked about. And that she told you, like about the McDonald's and the video games and that sort of thing, when I am so much better than that.

'''Dad:''' And I have not seen any of this, because it probably doesn't exist.

'''Chris:''' It does exist.

'''Dad:''' I mean, telling the truth isn't, it's not made of Pokeymans and all that.

'''Chris:''' It is not.

'''Dad:''' And how are you better than all this? You're doing exactly, you're doing just that, talking about stupid fucking Pokeymans and shit. That's all I'm really getting about you. You do nothing but exactly what you've said.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, what can you...

'''Dad:''' You need to be better. Not say you could be better.

'''Chris:''' At least I am HONEST when I say I could be better. At least I don't go around lying, pretending that I am an astronaut.

'''Dad:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] You're not. You're not being honest.

'''Chris:''' No, I have been honest. Otherwise I would have said that I was an astronaut, but that would be lying. And I have not been lying this conversation.

'''Dad:''' Would have been a pretty bad lie, too.

'''Chris:''' I know, but that's just an example off the top of my head at the moment.

'''Dad:''' You don't even have the eyes to be an astronaut, I mean, c'mon. You don't have the weight. You especially don't have the weight.

===Endgame===
'''Chris:''' [''Long silence''] Well...I'll just say that this has been a most experiencing conversation, and I wish you a pleasant evening. Take care, Mr. Devoria, and stay safe. And please give my most fondest regards to Kacey as well. I love her and I care about her very much.

'''Dad:''' Don't you hang up on me. When did I say that this conversation was over?

'''Chris:''' Well. You could say the insult, I'm getting tired of insults, I feel like I need to go, I feel like I need to go take a shower, and get ready to sleep. We are in the same time zone, it's ten after two right now.

'''Dad:''' Actually, you know, that's fine, you can go whine and weasel your way out of this. You don't even deserve my daughter. What are you gonna do after this, what are you going to do tomorrow? Are you going to get up, sleep, you're going to get up and play video games again. That's...that's...

'''Chris:''' I am not, I will not be that way, I am going to get up and I'm going to be finding a job in the office. And I am going to be jogging for 15 to 30 minutes.

'''Dad:''' I don't believe...you know what Kacey's gonna do? She's gonna go to school, and she's gonna call Chris back. That's what she's gonna do.

'''Chris:''' [''Snide and superior''] Well, that's what you think she's gonna do. You do not control her.

'''Dad:''' And you know why she's gonna do that? It's because she, because he's the one she wants. You know that song that she made for Chris? She made it for him. Not you. [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|You know that song, that "Whole New World," from that Disney movie]]? She made that for him.

'''Chris:''' No, she told me she made that for me.

'''Dad:''' Oh, no she didn't.

'''Chris:''' Oh yes she did!

'''Dad:''' I think I know my daughter a little better than you do.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'll have to check with her on that.

'''Dad:''' He even sang it for her! I mean, what really made you think it was for you?

'''Chris:''' Because she told me so herself!

'''Dad:''' She told ME that she made it for him. Unless you're saying she's lying.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not saying she's lying, because...

'''Dad:''' And I saw that video. You didn't even know the lyrics to that song. You had to look it up. I could see the paper in your hand. And you had to sing over the words, you didn't even get the karaoke version or something. How could you possibly have known the lyrics?

'''Chris:''' I have watched the Aladdin movie a whole number of times. I would say greater than 10 times. In my lifetime. At this point.

'''Dad:''' And you know how I know that was made for him, and not you? Because that song was their song. They know it by HEART. And that has always been their song.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Dad:''' You know they were going to sing it to each other at their wedding?

'''Chris:''' [''More silence''] I see.

'''Dad:''' Well, this, this is really...this has really been enlightening. Learning about just how unworthy a person can be for my daughter. How much of a...I have to congratulate you, though, because you totally did a great job at getting Kacey and Chris back together.

'''Kacey:''' [''Bursting in''] Seriously, Chris, how could you?! You've been so insulting to my father, and everything...Chris would never have done this! Maybe I did make a wrong decision! I don't think I can do this.

'''Chris:''' [''Heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' Maybe I was thinking of him all along, maybe I just displaced things. Just, I can't believe you would do this. I was crying, and all you did was argue with my father. You didn't even care enough to check on me, or see if you could talk to me, Chris would never have done that. Chris would have demanded to talk to me right away and he would have calmed me down. I mean, obviously you misunderstood me.

'''Chris:''' I guess...maybe I did.

'''Kacey:''' You know what? I don't want you. I don't want this, I don't need this right now. I have so much going on with finals and everything, and this is the way you're going to act? Yeah. My father's right. You're going to have to do something HUGE. You can't even work on the comic you promised me, you made me a stupid LittleBigPlanet thing. Where the hell's the comic, Chris? You know what? You probably still won't make it. So you know what? I can't do this. You need to totally reform your life. I mean, Chris would have come by. He would have driven the two hours just to comfort me once he heard I was crying.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, if I knew where you were I would have driven two hours as well. But I did not know...

'''Kacey:''' You know you won't! You always want me to come to you. It's stupid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean...yeah, I would have asked, I mean, I did ask you for your address, but then...and I did ask you for your phone number.

'''Kacey:''' And I told you that you can't get it until you get my parents to trust you because you know they're overprotective! And you think this is the way you do it?! I bet you're not even gonna finish the comic! You can't even finish it tonight. Or anything. You can't do anything.

'''Chris:''' I can so.

'''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you're not motivated enough. Because you haven't done anything like that. You've promised me a song a long time ago, never got it. Chris has written me, like, three songs. You promised me tons of things, you never keep your promises. You just sit around playing video games, you made a stupid LittleBigPlanet thing for me. Come on. All I wanted was the damn comic, all I wanted was you just to pay attention. You don't even pick up the phone anymore because of the trolls, because of the STRESS. I can't do this. I want a real man.

'''Kacey:''' [''Silence again''] You can't even say anything. Dad, I think you're totally right.

'''Dad:''' Yeah. Don't tell him where we live, I don't want my name and number, I don't want him to know my name and number.

'''Kacey:''' See?! Look what you've done, Chris. Look what you've done!

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like you're gonna do anything to make up for it. So you know what? I don't even care. Dad, you can do whatever, that's all he can say, I'm done.

'''Dad:''' I don't know, I don't think I want to get in trouble...

'''Kacey:''' He's not, Chris, screw this.

'''Dad:''' I don't want to get in trouble for beating the shit out of this faggot anyway.

'''Kacey:''' I'm gonna go, this is too much for me. You can finish this off, Dad.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' [''Silence reigns''] I would like to say...good evening.

'''Dad:''' So...what are you gonna do now?

[''Tape runs out'']

{{succession|label=Kacey Phone Calls|prevlink=[[Kacey Phone Call]]|nextlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=Y1N7JXQ3 mp3 of phonecall]
*Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SKLGsJC6R0 the call on YouTube]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Things Chris has ripped off

2010-09-05T15:53:19Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Sailor Moon */

'''''Attention! This page is under construction! What you see now is a preview of the things to come. You are free to add anything you think is relevant, it will be taken into consideration when the revamping will be finished. For discussion, critique and more info, please see the [[Talk:Things Chris has ripped off|talk page]]. Thank you.'''''

{{Quote|I take it one moment at a time and let the story pieces come to me. Even if they are sometimes borrowed from a tv show or movie.|Chris, [[Mailbag 4#Admission of plagiarism|blatantly admitting to plagiarism]].}}

[[Image:090-CWComicalHug.jpg|thumb|ORIGINAL!]]
[[Image:191-sealSchu.jpg|thumb|Seal of Originality]]

As every Chris-chan [[troll|fan]] is probably aware of, [[Chris-chan|our autistic hero]] has quite the imagination. But some argue that due to [[stress]] and the mental block that is [[autism]], his powerful and mighty artistic ordeals cannot come to fruition. So he just does what every good TV/book/movie writer does: he goes and steals shit from other places.

Now, to his credit, stealing ain't easy. I mean, how the hell do you grab something that comes from another person's mind, adapt it to your own storyline and make it so that it fits in, without having whatever it is that you stole stand out like an obese retard with a red and blue striped T-shirt in the middle of a crowd? Being the [[Fail|geinus]] comic book creator that he is, he feels that he does not need to bother with details such as a good plot, readability, or even consistency. Just stick in a few [[random-access humor|random-access-humor]] jokes and you got yourselves a new installment in the "[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comic Book Series]]." Not resembling ''[[Family Guy]]'' at all, right, guys?

According to Chris, stealing copyrighted material is fine, as long as you indicate that whatever it is you’re doing is a parody of the original material. In accordance to U.S. copyright law, this is technically true, so this probably means that, unless he decides to make money out of his "artwork," he ain’t gonna have the law knocking on his door. Besides, we all know he is never going to sell any type of merchandise ever, or even [[Monthly tugboat|make a hard earned buck]] for that matter.

Onward with the list of shit he's stolen:

==Main influences==

===Sonic the Hedgehog===

*His pride and glory "[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]," which, as we all know, is a recolor of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]]. In his comic book debut he is created when the "[[Perfect Chaos Monster]]" attacks CWCville, which, by the way, is a direct ripoff from the Sonic series.
*His other pride and glory “[[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]” which is just “[[Amy Rose|Amy]]” with a Raichu tail.
*Of course, Sonichu’s evil twin brother “[[Blake]]” also comes from the same line of original creativity Chris has got us accustomed to. This [[niggos|niggo]] version of Sonichu is a complete rip-off from the character “Shadow the Hedgehog”. His creation is partially inspired by ''[[Wikipedia:Pokémon: The First Movie|Pokémon: The First Movie]]'' in which the character “[[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]]” is created from the DNA from “[[Wikipedia:Mew|Mew]]” with an evil twist.
*The “Chaotic Combo” is a mesh of ''Sonic'' characters recolored with retarded deformities. Like Angelica being a white hedgehog that has wings, or Punchy Sonichu being an AZN version of “Knuckles the Echidna”.
''For more info, see the [[Sonic the Hedgehog#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Pokémon===

*Like the previously mentioned Sonichu and Rosechu characters ripping off Sonic the Hedgehog, they also rip off various [[Pokémon]], mostly Pikachu and Raichu, combined with other Pokémon-types.
*The character [[Jiggliami]] is a humanoid variation of a Jigglypuff.
*The so-called [[Sonichu Balls]] are designed like various Pokéballs, though they also function like other items.
*[[Sonees]] are also slightly edited Pichu, with a bit of [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Chao]] mixed in.
*Moves. As if ripping off their looks wasn't enough chris also rips off their attacks such as "thunder bolt" or "sky uppercut".

''For more info, see the [[Pokémon#Plagiarism in Sonichu|main article]].''

==Anime==

===Digimon===

{{incomplete}}

*[[Silvana|Silvana's]] origin is very similar to Gatomon's, as both were long separated from their kind and raised by evil villains who made them into their minions. The only difference being that Silvana was given a [[Pickle|penis]].
*Ultra Sonichu's Chaotic Remedy is a blatant copy of [[wikipedia:Patamon#MagnaAngemon|MagnaAngemon's Magna Antidote]] attack.

===Dragonball/Z/GT===
*[[Chris-chan Sonichu]]'s famed attack, the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] (later Shin-ye-ha-me-ha), is based on the famed super attack known as the Kamehameha.
*The Sonichu Balls, though resembling PokéBalls, are said to function more like the titular Dragonballs, as they are able to grant a wish when all are brought together.
*Ultra Sonichu, which shares an amazing resemblance to Super Saiyan warriors, by flying sky high and kicking ass and all.
*Collosal-Chan is obviously Super Saiyan 4 from GT.
*[[Mypoe]] ripped off [[Punchy]]'s tail because it was a "weak spot".

===Excel Saga===

*A veritable hellstorm of shameless rips from this series appears in the Sonichu comics, in a way nearly as pervasive as Pokémon and Sonic the Hedgehog, yet comparatively subtler because he steals one-liners and monologues more than characters or storylines.
*...although he does indeed steal characters (like Mypoe and Nabeshin and [[Bagget|the Jerkop Daitenzen]]) from time to time.
*It is also possible that Chris stole the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] from the parody "Nabehameha" from Excel Saga (which was essentially a Kamehameha attack, except shaped like an afro).

''For more info, see the [[Excel Saga#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann===

*The character of [[Simonla Rosechu]] is a ripoff of a "fanmade" Sonichu named Simonchu who, in turn, is ripped off from the main character of the series, Simon the Digger.

*It should be noted that Chris has in fact never seen ''TTGL'', and as such he misinterpreted several aspects of Simonchu's design that were intended to be referential to Simon: his cape became Simonla's shell, and his Core Drill pendant became a shark's tooth necklace.

*When Chris was forced to kill off Simonla in ''[[Sonichu 10]]'', he promptly created [[Sandy Rosechu]], Simonla's daughter. She is essentially exactly the same design-wise, except she is yellow and has a different hairstyle.

===Inuyasha===
*In [[Issue 2]], Sarah's Sonichu form pins Wes's Sonichu form to a tree, Wes making the statement "Where did this non-sacred tree come from?" This is a "hilarious gag" referring to Inuyasha's origin story, wherein he was pinned by an arrow to a cursed tree by priestess/crack shot/vengeful ex-girlfriend Kikyo. Also, with some imagination and enough alcohol, one can see that a cloud in the background in one of the panels is shaped vaguely like Inuyasha's head.
*Chris also has a [[Marvey Blaziken|Blaziken]] in his Pokémon team named Inu Yasha, which was only revealed on the [[CWCipedia]]. It's likely that this is the same Blaziken seen training with Simonla in [[Sonichu 10]], though he is not identified by name in that comic.

===Pretty Cure===

{{quote|"This is so "Pretty Cure"! I'M BACK!"|[[Chris-chan Sonichu]], [[Sonichu #4]]}}

*Pretty Cure, unlike [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], is a true [[parody]] that purposefully spoofs the ridiculous costumes, magical schoolgirls, and attack names of other anime series. The [[Chrs-Chan_Pure_Pulse-Jolt_Lance|Chrs-Chan [sic] Pure Pulse Jolt Lance]] (the attack that [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Crystalina Rosechu]] are able to perform with their combined Hedgehog powers) is stolen from this series, and even though its original counterpart was given a ridiculous name, Chris felt the need to make it sound like some idiot had just mashed some random words into an attack name for his own version. ''Oh wait...''

*Also noteworthy is that Chris copied (and butchered) the pre-attack catch phases and attack poses. Most of these rip-offs occur in [[Sonichu #4]] and [[Sonichu #5]].

===Sailor Moon===
*[[Sailor Megtune]], Chris's hideously inappropriate SI Mary Sue for [[Megan]], is based off the various heroines from the series, though the name is based off of Sailor Neptune.
*The [[Dark Mirror Hole]] may be a reference to a number of related Sailor Moon places/items, including the Black Dream Hole of the Sailor Moon Super S movie (the actual place), and a mirror-like item from a few episodes Sailor Moon Stars and the majority of Sailor Moon Super S.
''For more info, see the [[Sailor Moon#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Samurai Pizza Cats===

*In the aforementioned [[random-access humor]] [[ED]] edit, Chris quoted a joke from the US-dubbed version of SPC: "Quiet everybody, Emperor Fred has an announcement...FRED".
*He created the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]], which is a ripoff of both Samurai Pizza Cats and Transformers. They make several appearances in the comic to help Sonichu battle the [[Jerkops]].

===Yu-Gi-Oh!===

*[[Sarah Hammer]]'s husband-to-be is depicted as Jack's Knight, a Yu-Gi-Oh! monster, because Chris had no idea what the groom looked like and didn't bother to check. Way to go!
*Chris tends to use various Yu-Gi-Oh terms during his battles ("Trap cards"? Seriously?) and is even depicted using a Duel Disk when dealing with [[Wes Iseli]].
''For more info, see the [[Yu-Gi-Oh!#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Yuu Yuu Hakusho===

*In [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]], Chris mentions the use of a "Curse Shot", fired in the same way main character Yuusuke Urameshi would fire his main attack, the Rei Gun.

===Macross Frontier===

*Chris's infamous drawing of [[Jiggliami]] was copied from a picture by [[Blanca]], who copied the pose from a popular picture of Ranka Lee, one of the major characters of the series.

==Western Animation==

===The Adventures of The American Rabbit===

*Chris ripped many concepts for his [[Love Quest]] and lines from that movie are used in the comics ("Thanks, I will father" from the cover [[Sonichu 0]] is a line uttered by Robert Rabbit).
''For more info, see the [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Aqua Teen Hunger Force===

*The ATHF characters appear in one panel in [[Sonichu 0]], along with Meatwad's old catchprase, "The bun is in your mind".
*Chris (badly) painted one of his Guitar Hero guitars to look like Meatwad's toy guitar.
''For more info, see the [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Beavis and Butt-head===
*Beavis and Butt-head appear in the Time Travel episode in a gag directly stolen from the original cartoon series (although Chris [[Chris and copyright|said "Sorry"]] to Mike Judge).
''For more info, see the [[Beavis and Butt-head#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Darkwing Duck===

*[[Darkbind Sonichu]] is a partial ripoff of this series' main character – Darkwing Duck.
*The font Chris uses to write "Darkbind" is traced from the show's logo.
*Upon arriving, Darkbind recites a completely bastardized version of Darkwing Duck's trademark entrance speeches. The main change is that the original speeches were filled with tongue-in-cheek irony, while Chris's version is completely serious and unnecessarily pompous.
*Chris calls Darkbind "D.B.", reminiscent of how Darkwing Duck's sidekick Launchpad McQuack calls him "D.W."
*[[Princess Zelina Rosechu]] may be a partial ripoff of Darkwing Duck's girlfriend Morgana McCawber (though this theory is debatable).

===Ed, Edd and Eddy===

*In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris added a huge wall of [[Random-access humor]], including a joke from the episode [http://www.tv.com/ed-edd-n-eddy/one-plus-one-equals-ed/episode/117706/summary.html "One Plus One Equals Ed"]: "Carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?", originally said by Ed.
*In the video [[CWCFlyingElephants|"CWC's Flying Elephants"]], Chris bashes his head on his bed like a [[retard]], and quotes another line from Ed: "I'm a woodpecker! Except with dirt!"

===Family Guy===

*In [[Sonichu 7|Issue 7]], Chris meets [[Sammy]], who resembles Peter Griffin, who goes through a series of incidents involving a sequence from Filmation's [[Ghostbusters]].
*In [[Sonichu 8|Issue 8]], Chris directly lifts a gag in which a news anchor delivers a serious professional story, then immediately jumps to excited coverage of Spring Break.
*The title of his bizarre rap video, "[[IPods_Down_and_Listen_Up|iPods Down and Listen Up]]," was lifted from the "Prick Up Your Ears" episode, in which the reverend teaching the high school about abstinence starts his performance by telling the kids, "Put your Walkmans down and listen up."
*At the end of [[Sonichu 10]], Marvey Blaziken tells the reader that "inspiration does not have a schedule." On Family Guy, this exact phrase was spoken by New Brian during the episode "The Man with Two Brians" before he proceeds to sing about farting. Naturally, the phrase referred to New Brian fitting in writing a song (about farting) into his already-busy schedule of helping out the family.
*In Issue 11, one of the baby Rosechus is playing the Virgin Mary in a school play, she says "I'm the Virgin Mary, that's my story and I'm sticking to it." This is said by Joe's wife in one of the Christmas episodes, where she is doing the exact same thing.
''For more info, see the [[Family Guy#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Futurama===

*The time travel plot of episode 16 of [[Sonichu 7]] ("Time Hogs") was stolen from the direct to DVD Futurama movie "Bender's Big Score", which the shamelessly lampshaded by the recolors in the beginning of the episode.

===Ghostbusters (Filmation)===

*Chris's ''Family-Guy''-style gag rips from ''The Non-Real Ghostbusters'' created by [[Wikipedia:Filmation|Filmation]].
''For more info, see the [[Ghostbusters#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===He-Man===

*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.5 (preview)]]: [[Beel]] exclaims: "I have the power!" after stealing Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]].

===Home Movies===

*[[Officer Keino]]'s appearance is ripped straight from Coach McGuirk.
*The end of the [[Giant Penis Comic]] special contains gags from the show.

===Inspector Gadget===

*[[Darkbind Sonichu]]'s nemesis, [[Clawdorf]], is (possibly) based on Inspector Gadget's nemesis Dr.Claw, who was also most of the time seen as a dark silhouette. If it's true, it is especially strange, as [[Darkbind]] is based on Darkwing Duck and the Legend of Zelda, not Inspector Gadget.

===Peanuts===

:''Main Article: [[Peanuts]]

===Powerpuff Girls===
*The other half of Blake's origin was stolen from The Powerpuff Girls, as an accidental dose of a foreign chemical gives him his evilness and his blackness. This is lampshaded poorly on the cover to Black Sonichu's introductory issue.

===Ren and Stimpy===

*Sub-episode 6 rips off the Ren & Stimpy Episode "Lair of the Lummox," which Chris even acknowledges (with Ren & Stimpy thinly veiled as "[[Chris_and_copyright|Ben & Stumpy]].")
*At the end of episode 17, there is an advert for "Knothole"; and boasted as being from the creators of "Log".

===Sealab 2021===

*In the same [[ED]] edit, Chris included a joke from the Sealab 2021 episode "Legend of Baggy Pants": "What? Pod six doesn't need a Pro Shop, they need a dentist."

===Smurfs===

*[[Wild Sonichu]] seems to be "inspired" by the character of [http://smurfs.wikia.com/wiki/Wild_Smurf Wild Smurf]. Both live in treehouses. Both swing from vines (although Wild Sonichu's vines swinging comes from ripping off Spider-Man). Both were raised by wild animals. Honestly, the only difference between the two is that Wild Sonichu can actually talk (Wild Smurf communicated in chipmunk sounds more than anything else).

===South Park===

*[[CADD Chef]] is an obvious ripoff of the character Chef.
*Beel has a strong resemblance to South Park's Satan.
''For more info, see the [[South Park#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Space Ghost Coast to Coast===

*The chant uttered by the guardian of the cave in [[Sonichu 3]] ("Anoz aelc amulp oerc ikabmol ah ah!") is one of Zorak's chants ("Lombaki Creo Plomo Pleo Zoma Ah Ah!") spelled backwards and mangled. Chris's original attempts to do spells or chants have [[fail]]ed spectacularly [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic9P93.jpg], so the stolen chant is one of his better ones.

===The Brak Show===

*In the oft-mentioned [[Random-access_humor#Random_ramblings|ED edit]], Chris included lines from [[Adult_Swim|The Brak Show]], all of them from the same episode ("The New Brak").

===Transformers===

*[[Optimus Prime]] mercilessly killing Decepticon spy [[Sarah Jackson]].
*Various Transformer-types are set to appear in [[Sonichu 9]] Episode 20.
''For more info, see the [[Transformers#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===[[Adult Swim|Tom Goes To The Mayor]]===

*Placing the [[Mayor's Office]] inside the mall is either a reference to this or Chris having terrible priorities.

==Movies and TV shows==

===Gilligan's Island===

*Thurston Howell III and his wife make an appearance in [[Sonichu 8]], hinting at the name of the head of [[4-Cent Garbage]].
{{incomplete}}

===Monty Python===

{{incomplete}}

*When Darkbind Sonichu is fighting the B-Manajerk, a blow for blow copy of the 'Black Knight' sketch from The Holy Grail.
*[[CWCFlyingElephants]]. Need I say more?
*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.8]]: An impromptu "comedic" sequence making "fun" of [[Jimmy Hill]] starts with "And now for something completely different...", contains a collage of photos and drawings reminiscent of Terry Gilliam's artistic experiments, and features a porcupine shouting: "Dinsdale!".

''For more info, see the [[Monty Python#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Spaceballs===

*In the [[Episode 8]] fight between [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Chris-Chan Sonichu gets his tail singed by a fire blast then exclaims, "You burned my tail! Now it's personal!" before going on the offensive. This is very similar to the scene in the movie [[wikipedia:Spaceballs|"Spaceballs"]] where gun-hating Princess Vespa gets her hair singed by a laser in a firefight and exclaims, "You shot my hair! You son of a bitch!" then proceeds to singlehandedly mow down the attacking Spaceballs with a laser rifle.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYgQXWxJfZE#t=7m44s (''Relevant portion from 7:44 to 8:01'')</ref> While the words aren't identical, he reads the lines with the same cadence and inflection as Vespa's in his [[Sonichu_2_Official_Videobook#Episode_8|Official Videobook]] clip.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42EOCbTSJOI#t=8m06s (''Relevant portion from 8:06 to 8:12'')</ref>

===Carrie===

*Chris's [[The High School Story]] is an amalgamation of Stephen King's Carrie, and Chris' own high school experience. Its main character, Terrah, is bullied and under appreciated, so she kills everyone with her psychic powers. It is safe to assume that Chris saw the movie adaptation of Carrie, and not the book, as it is unimaginable that Chris would ever spend his time on a book without illustrations.

===Power Rangers===

*In [[Sonichu 9]], the CWC-Power Rangers are introduced, but never seen with the sole exception of Kart Megazord.
*[[Silvana]]'s basic existence, back story, and partial appearance are the copied directly from a villain ([[wikipedia:Villains_in_Power_Rangers_in_Space#Astronema|Astronema]]), from ''[[wikipedia:Power_Rangers_in_Space|Power Rangers in Space]]''
*In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris introduces a new song entitled ''[[Revive Zordon]]'', which displays his wish for the return of the "original" Power Rangers team.

===Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III===

*In page 28 of [[Sonichu 1]], Sonic is quoted saying "Eh... you were expecting maybe, Bugs Bunny?" a direct 'reference' to a line said by one of the non-yawning Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the third movie. The original line was 'Eh... you were expecting maybe, The Addams Family?" It is ironic in this case that of all the lines Chris-Chan could have possibly chosen from the movie, he went ahead to choose one of the most awful, face-palming, gut-wrenchingly bad lines (only second to the even worse line "Help! I'm a turtle and I can't get up!"), and proceeded to MAKE IT WORSE. Congratulations.

===Saw series===

*Louis Perez, appearing in Sonichu 10 to apprehend [[Inos]] could be named after the character from the Saw franchise (possibly a relative, as Lindsey Perez from the movies is female). Chris has previously stated, that the Saw series is one of his favorite movie franchises in one of the Mailbags. Both characters are black policemen, making the "inspiration" much more likely.
*The execution of the [[Asperpedia]] crew in [[Sonichu 10]] is performed through what equates to elaborate death traps, similar to what is seen in the Saw series. They certainly have more in common with those movies than with anything resembling actual state-sponsored executions.

===Independence Day===

*In the [[Christian Love Day video]], he recited a modified version of the speech that the President makes before making a last stand against the aliens, which shows just how ridiculously corny he can get.

===The Root of All Evil===

*This Comedy Central show featuring Lewis Black as a judge was ripped off in [[Sonichu 10]], where the judge at the trial, named "Slack Lewis," greatly resembles Black.

===The Simpsons===

*The parts of [[Sandy Rosechu]]'s design that were not already cannibalized from Simonla were copied from Lisa Simpson.

===Lethal Weapon 2===

*The exploding toilet death of [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]] was ripped off from the 1989 sequel to the 1987 film, ''Lethal Weapon'' and its infamous exploding toilet scene.

===Star Wars===

*While he hasn't ripped it off directly (yet), he once told [[Jackie]] in their e-mail exchanges that he essentially planned to make the backstory of [[Wild Sonichu]] a rip-off of the relationship between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader (Darth Vader being Luke's father turned evil, for the few of you living in caves).

===This is Spinal Tap===

*During the [[Revive Zordon]] performance, the speaker blurts out that the volume is "Cranked up to Eleven." We can only hope Chris ripped this joke off directly rather than referencing something else referencing Spinal Tap.

===Terminator 2===
*Chris's [[Sonichu Special 4|threat on the life of]] [[Liquid Chris]] contains a number of elements from the film:
**The top speed of 65 MPH during the escape scene
**The Terminator shooting an enemy in the legs, saying "He'll live"

==Video Games==

===Banjo Kazooie===

*[[Flame]] the Sunbird is just a very poor drawing of Kazooie who seems to want pants for some reason that no rational person can fathom. Any who enjoyed this game can only thank [[Godjesus]] that Chris doesn't seem to realize that Kazooie is a [[China|girl]].

*In [[Sonichu 9]], [[Sonichu]]'s battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] is ripped directly from the final boss fight with Gruntilda. The only differences are that the fireballs are replaced with dark energy and Mary does not fall to her death.

===Legend Of Zelda===

{{incomplete}}

*The characters [[Darkbind Sonichu]] and [[Zelina Rosechu]] are rip-offs of Link and Zelda, the two main characters from the series, alongside being rip-offs of elements from the cartoon series Darkwing Duck, strangely enough.
*The entire subplot about Darkbind and Zelina (involving Zelina being put under a sleeping spell by an [[Clawdorf|evil wizard]]) is taken nearly verbatim from the story of Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (where the Link from the first game must awaken the original Zelda from a sleeping spell put on her by - you guessed it, an evil wizard).
*It's not clear if he's a fan of the series, since while he's compared one of his favorite games ([[Brutal Legend]]) to The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, it's likely he simply saw the game was the highest ranking game on GameRankings and other game scoring websites.

===Mobile Suit Gundam===

*During the [[Megan]] Saga, Chris drew box art for [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]], one of Chris's many fake box arts for his imaginary games. What's unique about this one is that it involves Megan Schroeder and her brother, John. Despite being about Megan, it is not a rape simulator, but instead believed to be a ripoff of Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo.

===Street Fighter===

*[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]'s attack "Hyper Beam" looks a lot like Ryu and Ken's special attack "Hadouken". It appears in [[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.7]].
*In [[Sonichu 9]], Sonichu performs a Flash Kick on Slaweel.
*In [[Sonichu Special 4]], [[Kacey]]'s father resembles Guile.

===Super Mario Bros===

{{incomplete}}

Super Mario is a video game series conceived by [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], and has been the mascot of Nintendo for over 20 years. While Sonic has fallen into a self-induced pit of horrifying shit, probably never to escape, Mario has stayed consistently good for all this time. Despite this, Chris very much favors Sonic, as he only has a passing interest in Mario. Perhaps it's the lack of furry material to [[mass debate]] to, the complex level design and puzzles or just the fact that at one time, Mario was the rival of Sonic, probably leaving Chris with some grudge against the series. However, he has enough interest to rip it off from time to time.

*The wing cap ability from Super Mario 64 is ripped off in Sub-Episode 4, where Chris flies around with wings on his head. They are later discarded, and Chris is strangely shown flying without them.
*His concept for Sonic The Hedgehog 64, as expressed in his [[Hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine]], is nothing more than Mario 64 with Sonic and Tails. Literally.

===[[Brutal Legend]]===

*In [[Sonichu 9]], during the introduction of the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]], [[Armoraxe]] uses a move that looks and acts exactly like the Solo "[[nudes|Face Melter]]" from the game. The only difference is that the move is called "Metal Melter"
*The devil [[trolls]] that appear to carry [[CChanSonichuCWC|IBAChandler]] away after he is defeated by [[Sonichu]] seem to be a rip-off of the fans that appear to carry you off when you are defeated during a stage battle in Brutal Legend. This is confirmed by the [[chris|retarded]] phrase written next to the same panel in the comic, "Hmm, What 'Legend' brought these [[fanbase|fans]]?"
*In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris using the power of [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|music]] and [[son-chu|stage]] to destroy the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building may have been inspired by Brutal Legend's Stage Battles. Son-Chu ''does'' turns into a giant stage which resembles Ironheade's megastage, but rather than offer a fair fight Chris just Guitar Heroes his opponents into oblivion instantly.
*[[Simonla]] gives [[Wild Sonichu]] her lucky sharks tooth necklace, similar to when Eddie Riggs gives Ophelia his mother's shark-like tooth necklace in Brutal Legend.

===God of War===

*Page 75, [[Sonichu 10|Issue 10]]. [[Collosal Chan]] pulls out lightning bolt versions of Kratos's Blades to fight [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel]].

===PaRappa the Rapper===

*In preparation for the [[Revive Zordon]] performance, Sonichu puts on PaRappa's hat and becomes as flat and two-dimensional as PaRappa (not to mention his own character) is, saying "I gotta believe!"

==Western Comics==

===Spider-Man===

*[[Wild Sonichu]] is a partial ripoff of Spider-Man, a superhero who can shoot long web strings from his hands. He uses these web ropes to swing across the city and entangle his enemies. Also, the scene in the end of Episode 19 ([[Sonichu 9]]) is highly reminiscent of the Spider-Man movie. Similarly, Wild can also climb walls with relative ease, though it's not clear whether he's just a good climber or if he literally clings to walls, as Spider-Man does.

===The Incredible Hulk===

*[[Rosechu]]'s bat shit insane rapist form, now known as the Incredible Lioness, is based off of the Incredible Hulk. While Rosechu didn't turn green (and seeing as she's an abomination already, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that she's already bathed in gamma radiation), she gets pissed off when Jason Kendrick Howell launches a pickle at her and she tears him a new one.

==Songs==

{{incomplete}}

*Everything from the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] albums are sung over another song; this may be Chris's biggest showing of plagiarism yet, aside from [[Sonichu (comic)|his own comic]].
*[[Jiggliami]]'s song, "War of Love," is a ripoff of "Love Is War," a Supercell song using [[Wikipedia:Vocaloid|Miku Hatsune]] for vocals. While Blanca wrote the ripoff, Chris was more than willing to use it in [[Sonichu 8]].

===Tommy Tutone===

*The product number for [[John's Custom Gundam]] is [[Wikipedia:867-5309/Jenny|8675309]].

==List of fiction Chris has referenced and otherwise bastardized==

While Chris's [[Sonichu|masterpiece]] is chock full of shameless ripoffs and copyright infringements, there are some references to works of fiction which can't be actually considered "ripping off", but manage to ruin the franchise in question nevertheless, for the sole fact of being referenced in [[Sonichu]]. These are mostly instances of Chris either including a minor reference to a work of fiction, or just mentioning it, in his comics. While it's not considered a crime ''de jure'', it still may be called a crime against humanity, whose culture Chris has thus bastardized.

''Note that when such minor references concern works or franchises already listed in the main ripoff list above, they're added there, not here. It was done so that it would be easier to see how much has Chris managed to bastardize each franchise.''

*'''[[Wikipedia:Batman|Batman]]:''' [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17|S8 Ep17 p.35]]: Batman's portrait is hanging on the wall of the [[CWCville Mayoral Office]] for some completely mysterious reason.

*'''[[Bugs Bunny]]:'''
:*[[Sonichu 1#Episode 6|S1 Ep6 p.28]]: [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] says to the startled [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr.Robotnik]]: "Eh... You were expecting, maybe Bugs Bunny?"
:*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.8]]: Bugs himself appears in the Monty Python-esque collage, lecturing the toothless photograph of [[Jimmy Hill]] (who was implied to have sold counterfeit Warner Bros. merchandise in the past) on the evils of [[Chris and copyright|copyright infringement]].

*'''[[Wikipedia:Dig Dug|Dig Dug]]:'''
:*[[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|S9 Ep19 p.12]]: [[Simonla]]'s screen name is "DigDugette416".
:*Later, on [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|S9 Ep19 p.17]], [[Layla]] jokes that Simonla only needs a pump to "fully dig the dug", whatever that means.

*'''[[Wikipedia:Fight Club (film)|Fight Club]] and [[Wikipedia:Chuck Palahniuk|Chuck Palahniuk]]:'''
:*[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2|S1 SE2 p.S-4]]: [[Hanna]] tells Chris that she likes reading books by "Chuck Pala[[duck]]" (sic), who is also (according to Chris's footnote) "[[Fail|the director]] of the movie "Fight Club" (well, maybe he believes that [[Wikipedia:David Fincher|David Fincher]] is just Chuck's alternate personality?)... Yes, "Chuck Pala'''[[duck]]'''".
:*If Chris has actually seen the movie, it may be the influence behind [[30 August 2009|"Christopher"]].

*'''[[Wikipedia:Grand Theft Auto|Grand Theft Auto]]:''' [[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.1 (preview)]]: [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] orders: "[[Beel]]! Prepare for Grand Theft [[Medallion of Fail|Medal]]!"

*'''[[Guitar Hero]]:'''
{{incomplete}}

*'''[[LittleBigPlanet]]:''' [[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.1 (preview)]]: For no reason at all, Sackboy appears at the bottom of the page and recites an anti-pirate advertisement for "LittleBigPlanet" and Chris's [[LittleBigPlanet videos#Sonichu Episode 1 LittleBIGPlanet Level|Level of Fail]].

*'''[[R.L.Stine]]:'''
{{incomplete}}

*'''[[Sprung]]:''' [[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2|S1 SE2 p.S-5]]: Chris is shown playing "Sprung" on his Nintendo DS for dating tips before going on a date with [[Hanna]]. He reads the infamous "So, do angels have names?" compliment and notes that it "sounds right".

*'''[[wikipedia:Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde|Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde:]]''' [[Magical Man Potion]]: Chris drinks a [[Semen|magical concoction]] and transforms into an entirely different [[troll|being]], before reverting to his own self. Due to the fact that the transformation is "from [[Chris|bumbling]] to [[Liquid Chris|suave]]" rather than "from [[Chris and religion|moral]] to [[Death threats|cruel]]", as well as the extreme unlikelihood of him knowing classical Scottish literature, he probably stole the concept from [[wikipedia:The Nutty Professor|The Nutty Professor]], a derivative work of Jekyll and Hyde.

*'''[[Wikipedia:B-Daman|B-Daman]]:''' [[Sonichu 1#Episode6|S1 Ep6 p.32]]: Sonic curls up into a ball and enters a pocket of whatever in Sonichu's stomach, upon which Sonichu fires him out at Metal Sonichu which also is the form of a ball. At first, this looks like a reference to balls, but upon closer inspection, it seems to be a ripoff of the Japanese Anime and Toy series B-Daman, which involves small cute robot-like characters firing balls out of their stomachs at other balls.

*'''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek|Star Trek]]:''' Both within the comics and in his real life presentations, he uses the phrase "Captains Log" a reference to the opening of most Star Trek episodes and movies. He's never seen anything of the franchise, not even the new movie most likely, but he felt the need to rip it off anyway. That's Chris for you.

==The tl;dr Version==

At this point, it's almost easier to list the beloved franchises Chris ''hasn't'' ruined.

==References==
<references />

==See also:==

*[[Chris and copyright]]
*[[List of phrases Chris copied from media]]

[[Category:Articles needing improvement]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Talk:Women's rights

2010-09-05T05:41:51Z

SerenityMoonstone:

I think this perhaps could be expanded to include the Mary Poppin's take on women's rights. During his 'women's rights' section, Rosechu takes almost a full page to bring up "votes for women" as if this were still a relevant issue. It could be that suffrage is the only part of legitimate women's rights movements that he's aware of, and even then only to the extent of it being a minor theme in one of his favorite movies. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 00:43, 14 May 2009 (CEST)
:There's no indication that women, or Rosechus, have the ability to vote in CWCVille. However, it is likely just inserted as something Christian recognizes (...from Mary Poppins?). [[User:LBearington|LBearington]] 09:04, 2 June 2009 (CEST)
*Well, there's really no indication that ''anyone'' votes in CWCville. I don't think there will be that point addressed, as Chris wouldn't want to portray the risk of him losing his power (despite the fact that he does basically nothing for his office). Still, he puts it in when discussing women's rights and it's at least something to mention briefly. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 19:46, 5 June 2009 (CEST)
**The "votes for women" thing is just because of Mary Poppins. There was an incident in Mumble where Clyde approached Chris on this, like "Chris, why the fuck are you talking about women's right to vote and what the hell does that have to do with stripping?" and Chris is defensive and says something like "IT'S FROM MARY POPPINS!" Chris probably is unaware with the idea of women's struggle and since he was talking about what he thinks are "women's rights", he threw in something about women's rights he heard before (women's suffrage from Mary Poppins).

::As for voting, I believe in the Q&A video Chris says that everyone in CWCville can vote, "even blacks" (or maybe that comment was just something a troll added. If so, nice work). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:30, 5 June 2009 (CEST)

These were just my initial thoughts on the matter. I will get around to checking this and editing the article. I have never seen Mary Poppins, so I can't comment on that. As for the Rosechu matter, I forget offhand which episode that is in. I will get around to re-reading the comics when I feel that I have some spare brain cells to kill. --[[User:Decrumpit|Decrumpit]] 08:50, 2 June 2009 (CEST)

Anyone else thinking in "The Father Call" when he laughs about Kacey maybe being "smarter then" him "on some things" stems from his sexism rather then his ego? --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 1:41, 5 September 2010 (EST)

Women's rights

2010-09-05T05:38:08Z

SerenityMoonstone:

[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|[[Chris]] giving the thumbs up (and two fingers) to women's rights.]]
[[Image:Motivator8532911.jpg|thumb|left|[[Chris]] appreciating a woman's right to take off their clothes and be seen as objects.]]

'''Women's rights''', at least in [[Chris's]] mind, refer to the right of women to take their clothes off in protest of being drawn with [[pickles]].

Given his admitted love of the 1964 classic ''[[Mary Poppins]]'', he presumably stole the concept from the character of Mrs. Banks, who is a suffragette in 1910 England.<ref>Lyrics from ''The Life I Lead'': "It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910 / King Edward's on the throne / It's the age of men!"</ref> Of course, Chris wouldn't have the first idea of what "women's suffrage" was, let alone the impact it had on world history, and why it was being shown in the movie in the first place.

==Basis in the film Mary Poppins==

[[Image:Ss03.jpg|thumb|right|Mrs. Banks, wearing the "Votes for Women" sash that Chris so blatantly mis-interpreted.]]
[[Image:Suffragette.jpg|thumb|left|Sir Isaacs justifies violence? Who could have such horrible objections to a woman's right to [[Hanky-Panky]]?]]

His extreme zeal for "women's rights" probably comes from a Mrs. Banks, the mother of Jane & Michael. As the story is set in early 20th century England, women do not yet have the right to vote. Mrs. Banks is the first character we see in the film proper, and she also sings the first song, ''Sister Suffragette'', during which she mentions [[Wikipedia:Emmeline_Pankhurst|Emmeline Pankhurst]] being arrested (again).<ref>"Take heart! For Missus Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again!</ref>

Mrs. Banks and her friends were depicted as struggling for the greater cause of being treated as an equal, with the same rights and treatment. But Chris takes it to mean they simply want to remove their clothes and fuck.

==Background==
[[Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|thumb|The very essence of femininity, according to Chris. How else are we supposed to interpret this?]]
[[Image:SchuComic9P35.jpg|thumb|left|Things going on in Chris's head: "Ooh, let's make a fan comic of Ze German Wasching Machine porn film. Wait, that'd make me look like a sexist jerk. Let's add a disclaimer. There! It's all peachy now!"]]

It is obvious that Chris is ''aware'' of the idea that objectifying women is frowned upon; every time he makes his female characters use their feminine qualities (to put it altogether too mildly), he is quick to add a disclaimer that he respects the women for ''both'' their minds and bodies, and/or make the claim that the characters are doing it because they want to fight for the women's rights. However, due to his [[autism|mental block]], he fails to understand what the society would consider a correct course of action, to wit, not objectify the women in the first place, and that disclaimers like these won't alleviate the fact that he's doing something that is considered inappropriate. In short, "[[Chris and hypocrisy|do as I say, not as I do]]."

Instead, Chris allows himself to be controlled by his own desires, and has soaked in all sorts of knowledge about women primarily from [[anime]], video games, and in particular pornography, last of which Chris considers "educational". He has had several problems realizing the difference between exaggerated stereotypes and the reality, as also evidenced by his [[racism|racist remarks]].

[[Image:Needs more cleavage.jpg|thumb|Christian Weston Chandler: Fighting for women's rights, every chance he gets.]]

Chris's most prominent reference to women's rights occurs at the end of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' in [[Episode 17]], in which the [[Rosechu (species)|rosechus]] of [[CWCville]] strip to celebrate their victory over [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and assert their dominance over [[4-cent garbage.com]].

Chris's understanding of women's rights demonstrates how entrenched his stereotypical view of women truly is. While not outwardly misogynistic, Chris nevertheless has a view that true liberation for women involves their being able to strip without interference, and to be interpreted as women without pickles.

For Chris, the truest expression of a woman's freedom is to strip. More tellingly, the truest expression of a woman's freedom is to strip and produce erotic artwork for a male audience. Chris subtly admits that women possess a great deal of power over him; in his mind, they are truly able to exercise their complete freedom in society when given the right to fully exploit what gives them power - their chinas, tits, and asses. True women's liberation does not involve the treatment of women as equals, but rather opens up avenues for half of the population to finally get the chance to exploit the other half.

Despite their phenomenal talent for fighting evil, Chris depicts rosechus as passive sexual toys for sonichus. Reflecting Chris's own distorted image of women, the rosechus in his comics tend to exhibit a desire to engage in stereotypical behavior, with occasional aggressive sexual overtures. Women play the role of deus ex machina in Chris's comics - occasionally leaving their role as supporting characters to engage in acts of great bravery and heroism. This mindset is painfully obvious in Chris's interaction with women during his [[love quest]]. Chris takes on a passive role in his attraction strategy, waiting to be approached by women who he thinks will take interest in his appearance. Chris essentially is looking for a [[Barbara Chandler|maternal figure]] in his life (paging Dr. Freud). Rather than aiming to better himself, he is looking to be fulfilled and served by women. Rather than having the full potential to use their talents in society, women's rights are the rights of women to bring pleasure to men as Chris sees fit.

When occasionally confronted with his sexism, Chris becomes extremely indignant and offended (as seen in the [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|White Knight E-mails]]). When his sexism is pointed out he gets upset and clarifies that he would never harm a woman (though he has no problem [[Death threats#Vivian Gee|threatening them]]). Chris seems to be under the impression that "sexism" basically means "physical abuse," and can't process the idea that treating women as sexual objects obsessed with shopping is still a form of sexism if not the definition (in addition to wit and other factors).

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

User:SerenityMoonstone

2010-09-04T05:00:06Z

SerenityMoonstone: Created page with "Hi, reading, listening, and discussing all about the biggest LOLcow on the internet. And occasionally thinking up things to do with what I know. http://i26.photobucket.com/album..."

Hi, reading, listening, and discussing all about the biggest LOLcow on the internet.

And occasionally thinking up things to do with what I know.
http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c105/SerenityM16/BillyMaysAss.jpg

Talk:Matthew Nobles call

2010-08-30T22:13:31Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Best Buy/Bank incident */

This is important shit guys, mostly detailing Bob's theory of the conspiracy that trolling originated from [[Megan]], Michael Synder, and "a few gay guys."--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:38, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Yeah, this is awesome. Now, if we had Matthew's email, we could verify the "George Millson" case a few of us are looking into, seeing as it's possible proof of Chris hypnotizing someone into believing Chris is a good person. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
::What are you talking about? --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 20:13, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Either look at the talk pages of either CypherFDP, Msummers or me, or email enginegeorge@yahoo.com asking what happened between him and Chris. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 20:41, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
* Most upsetting Bob oriented thing to date. He's equally responsible for Chris growing up to be a useless sack of shit. I liked the world better when I thought it was all Barb's fault. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 19:06, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
** It's the final proof that Chris's vague understanding of reality and tendency towards conspiracy are just him puppetting his senile father and white trash mother. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 20:04, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** I think you mean "parotting". I doubt Chris is able to project his delusions onto even his own parents. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 23:14, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** Even further than that, the fact that Chris didn't tell his parents about his near-arrest and tried to hide it proves that he is either very afraid of them or will do anything to avoid trouble (even if it is impractical or impossible). I'm also very interested in this apparent theft of Chris's funds. I'm wondering if someone really did break in to mess with his account, or whether Chris bought more shit than he could afford, and is trying to cover it up by claiming "trolls did it" --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 20:25, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** Likely it was the latter given Chris's habit of going over the limit and over-spend far, far beyond his means. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 17:57, 30 August 2010 (EST)
**Sully, I knew all along that Bob was behind Chris's shit as much as Snorlax. My suspicion was confirmed as fact to almost everyone else (including you) with this call. Just because he punished Chris once in the past doesn't mean that he's a good parent. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 17:58, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
Who is that at the end? Sounds like Chris but...really off... - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 20:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
* Snorlaxicus Maximus. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 20:04, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
** Oh snap! So is this her longest appearance in recorded media? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 20:06, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** This needs to get transcribed, this is really good material. [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 20:13, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
**** ffffffffffffffff why did it get cut off at the end? i wanna hear more of snorlax's rambling --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 20:17, 15 August 2010 (PDT). Thanks for reading!

Nine hours without a transcription. Sons, I am disapoint.
:I'm on the part where Bob talks about trolls hacking Chris's e-mails. This shit is gold. --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 20:44, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:*Fuck. As usual, something new comes along when I'm at work. I'll take a look as soon as I get home, assuming Beat doesn't get word of this and leap upon it like the sexy, caped crusader for justice that he is. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 21:01, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

Transcribed. Hopefully without too many mistakes. I'll colorize it as soon as I get myself nice and drunk. --[[User:RTBHBX|RTBHBX]] 21:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:And colored. Tugboat Captain if you see any of your additions that I missed coloring, sorry, and please reinsert them. Oh, and I redacted the gAME pLACE phone number because I wasn't sure how kosher it was. If anyone wants to throw it in go right on ahead. --[[User:RTBHBX|RTBHBX]] 21:25, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:* Added a thing here or there, I was working on transcribing it for the past few hours too, but ya beat me to it.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:48, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

And maybe it's just me, but when Matthew says his own name at the beggining, it soulds like Nobles, with an "s". Confirm/deny? Anybody actually know him (how'd we get this in the first place)? --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:52, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
**Actually, I've listened to it, and it really does sound like he's saying Nobles. - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 02:58, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

**I made some very minor changes, including adding the s onto the first Nobles. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 19:39, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

IMO, "Matthew Nobles" had a pretty good idea here, but completely botched the delivery. When Bob says something crazy, Matthew doesn't even try to correct him; instead he just pauses, says "Sir...", and then repeats whatever he was saying before. [[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 19:53, 18 August 2010 (PDT)

==File format==
Could someone with a converter link to an mp3 version of the file? None of the media players on my computer support .ogg files. [[User:Ganondorfdude11|Ganondorfdude11]] 19:47, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

*Use VLC, dude.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:48, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

*Firefox is also compatible, lrn2google.--[[User:Hans Gruber|Hans Gruber]] 21:06, 18 August 2010 (PDT)

== Best Buy/Bank incident ==

Do we know more about this bank incident? Sounds to me like Chris probably got caught up in some sort of scam and blamed the DAMN DIRTY TROLLS for it. [[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 22:09, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Considering how stupid and naive Chris is, I wouldn't put it past him. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:26, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:So, either trolls deliberatley going after him, some usual credit card fraud that happened to happen to Chris, or Chris lying out his ass to try to cover himself. Either way, Matthew is a master of Zen for speaking with a straight voice after that paragraph.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:47, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:I doubt it's as much "credit card fraud" as Chris-chan [[Chris and money|being his own spend-spreeing self]]. Bob got a wind of his statement, and Chris did the first thing that came to his mind: blame someone else. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 23:09, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
::Either way, if trolls actually did it or Chris did it and is now lying about it, someone could get in some serious trouble for credit card fraud. If it is indeed Chris' doing, this could get good. [[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 01:36, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Well, if it ''is'' Chris' own fault (which *is* the most probable scenario), it's not fraud- if somehow he did commit fraud, it'd be entirely on accident, I'm sure. Lying to your parents about your massive debt; dumb as all fuck (read: par for course), but not illegal. Chris stealing his parents cards; that IS fraud, but the only way that'd get taken to court is if Bob and Snorlax themselves somehow decided to kick Chris out and sue him. As fucking awesome as that'd be, not a chance in hell. --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 02:03, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::: I think Chris just spent too much money and blamed those DAMN DIRTY TROLLS--[[User:Monkeytacoz|Monkeytacoz]] 07:48, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::: What I meant by fraud is assuming that somehow (Likely through Bob or Barbara) Chris finds out that he can call the credit card company and say that the charges were unauthorized and get them taken off the account. I could see Chris abusing this very quickly. [[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 12:13, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::::: Oh, in that case: :D --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 20:14, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::::: It shouldn't be that hard to convince Chris to upload a copy of his latest credit card statement. We know he spends a LOT on [[PS3|PSN DLC]], but what about his other purchases? Credit card companies take fraud claims very seriously, and would at the bare minimum shut off the card while they conduct an investigation. --[[User:Captkrisma|Captkrisma]]
::::::: Which thinking he'll just keep the stuff and erase the debt, he probably would, find that out, and throw a temper tantrum that he can't use them for a few weeks while it clears. Meanwhile, he'll probably do this a number of times and cause an alert the credit card companies, send and investigation, they'll refuse to let them in cause Chris-Chan would tell them their trolls, leading to a warrant, search, and arrest. Don't you love cause and affect? :) --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 18:12, 30 August 2010 (EST)

==Follow up call?==
I totally think somebody should phone them up again pretending to be the owner of the GAMe PLACe this time, following on from this comment from Bob:

''"Now, if you would like to have me talk to your owner I would be glad to- and my wife would be glad to go to a meeting with him about your place and how it's corrupting the whole neighborhood!"''

It'd be nice to hear some more conspiratorial shit from Boblax about how the GAMe PLACe is "corrupting the whole neighborhood!", and we know that they are chomping at the bit to talk to the owner. Just a though...-[[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 22:17, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

*"It's all a plot by the GAMe PLACe in league with the Greene County School District to persecute our son for being autistic. The Jews and gays are sent by them to harass Christian just for being the understanding, God-fearing, well-adjusted, mature young man we raised him to be. There's also some connection to the hispanics and blacks to keep him from getting a job and taking away all the white women keeping him from his true love."--[[User:PhilRaptor|PhilRaptor]] 23:29, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

:*Could be worse: Bob and Chris could know the word "Sheeple."--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 00:57, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

::*Worse yet, Bob could know people in the Tea Party. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 09:03, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

==You do realize...==
That Matthew sounds just like Alec Benson Leary right? Coincidence? I think not. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:50, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Apparently we don't like to disclose identities of trolls, but I think "ALB" of the calls, the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] cameraman, and the Mr. Hyde of [[Magical Man Potion]] are the same person. Probably a Charlottesville FA. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 23:07, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
::I thought the same thing when he started talking. This is the most interesting thing to happen in months, hopefully we can find out about the credit card business and all of that. --[[User:Straw|Straw]] 23:28, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

== Letter ==

What sort of letter would Bob want to be sent? Chris steals troll-related mail and Bob is already talking to the (supposed) Game Place employee on the phone, so what sense does it make to want a letter? --[[User:Straw|Straw]] 23:49, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Bob doesn't know that Chris steals the troll mail.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:03, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::Too bad we do not know the mechnics of how exactly. Like does Bob or Snorlax actually get the mail out of the box, or does Chris do it? If maybe Bob would see stuff on a postcard before Chris got to it.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 00:55, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Well, if they receive a large number of postcards/letters over one day or a week containing information they may not know (house tour still being online and whatever else people can think of), they would have a better chance of seeing something or Chris getting freaked out at all these letters coming in from around the country. --[[User:Straw|Straw]] 03:53, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

== Sent video to Michael Snyder ==
{{Not A Forum}}
I sent the video to Michael on YouTube; he needs to get a hold of this and address the video considering that Bob and Barb want to talk to him THAT bad. Even though he probably gets hundreds of messages and somebody may have already sent him the vid, I just felt it was important that he got a hold of this. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 10:00, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:Isn't there a possibility Michael won't be happy that someone is pretending to work at the Game Place? I don't really know his personality or how he feels about the trolling but if it brings him into it I'm not really sure if he wants that. --[[User:Straw|Straw]] 10:05, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::I bet Mike would see the caller's intentions (knock sense into Chris's parents); even though he might be a little miffed that someone was posing as an employee of his store, he's unlikely to go ballistic over the matter like Chris would because the caller was only trying to reason with Chris's parents. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 10:21, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Regardless how he takes the use of his store as a cover, I am sure Mike will be more than glad to share with us his views of his rise to fame as a conspiracy mastermind. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 10:38, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::I was just thinking this as well. Posing as anyone from The Game Place is pretty risky. There's a big potential for collateral damage to innocent parties. --[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 13:31, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:Why would you decide to be the guy to do this? If Snyder reacts poorly to someone posing as one of his employees, we could easily be the ones to lose out. You also (presumably) have no idea if alerting Snyder conflicts with the plans of the person who was good enough to bring us this call. I've been happily lurking the CWCki for a stupidly long time and have never felt the need to get involved, but was moved to register today just to point out that this may be a stupendously dumbfuck move. [[User:LisaLisa|LisaLisa]] 16:48, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::Pretty much what LisaLisa said... I've looked at your talk page, and you have a history of doing shit that is totally unnecessary without asking. You'd think you would have learned by now.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 05:09, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

*When you say they want to talk to Snyder that bad, are you getting that from where they say they want to talk to the owner? Cos they don't mean Snyder, the owner is someone else. If you're talking about them accusing Snyder of fraud, well, maybe that's something he should be made aware of. --[[User:Silomentality|Silomentality]] 17:35, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
**The latter was the reason why I alerted Snyder; accusations of credit card fraud and stealing money from somebody's bank account are extremely serious, especially behind somebody's back (in this case Mike's). If he knew of the allegations, the Chandlers could be in deep shit for accusing him of a crime that he never committed, especially when there is no evidence of fraud. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 19:15, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
**God dammit Famicon, don't do this ever again. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 05:22, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
*** That was a really dumb thing to do Famicon. --[[User:Monkeytacoz|Monkeytacoz]] 08:26, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
**** Hey, Famicon. If accusations caused legal trouble the way you think they do, half the internet would be in prison. You're a fucking idiot. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 09:56, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
***** Whatever --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 10:20, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
***** BTW Sully (and everyone else pissed with me), you're the idiots here for seriously expecting me to cover up an alleged plot that I was never notified of. Hell I'll even CALL the Game Place if you guys don't chill out about this >:). --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 10:28, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

Famicon sez: "You! You! Every damn last one of you! YOU are the shitheads!" Hey, you know what? Fuck you, you slow-in-the-mind. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 00:42, 18 August 2010 (PDT)

****** Let guess, you're going to scream JULAYY, right?--[[User:Monkeytacoz|Monkeytacoz]] 10:53, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
****** Jesus Christ. I think there should be some sort of application process/IQ test before people are allowed in here/PVCC/etc. [[User:Xanatos|Xanatos]] 11:24, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
****** Goddamnit, Famicon. How old are you? 12? That's the only type of person I could think of who would do something as stupid as that. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 11:58, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
****** You were never notified? Since when did anything have to be run by you? Nobody is pissed because you did something without the approval of an inner circle that doesn't exist, people are pissed because what you did was fucking retarded. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 11:53, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
******* *also parrots what other people have already said, adding nothing and cluttering up this page even further* -[[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 12:20, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
Yeah, I’m going to agree-

There’s been a rash of these (people preventing the natural occurrence of events, like with the wallflower) lately, and maybe the lack of content lately is driving the less tempered kooky, but it really needs to get toned down.

I know you little kids want to be the next great troll, but honestly, you’re not that good. Why not just make a quick post asking if this would be a good idea? Is it because if you mentioned the idea on here before implementing it, maybe someone else would do it before you and get the credit?

Stop trying to gain reputation. Next time, Famicom64, ask and gain the wisdom of the crowd. If your idea is as dumb as your last one, you’d get some insight as to why and the possibility of potential damage would be prevented. --[[User:ScottyBNickles|ScottyBNickles]] 12:14, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

* Famicon, this isn't a goddamn coverup. If it was, you wouldn't know dick about it. It's a prank call that was released to the CWCki for everyone to enjoy during the current dry spell and in your attempts to be a SUPER HARDCORE EPIC TROLL you've made yourself out to be a jackass. Then, when confronted about it by far more skilled trolls like Sully, you have the nerve to give him an attitude? Where do you get off? Saying "My bad, I guess my plan wasn't so great" or something of that nature would've been entirely sufficient but instead you responded with "whatever" and called everyone idiots for being (rightfully) pissed with you. Trolling is about teamwork, especially when it comes to Chris. We work together in a group, we run things by each other, and if we screw up we accept it; not pass it off and pretend like we were right all along. Ya dun' goof'd, admit it before you make an ass out of yourself even more. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 14:09, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
** Well said there. This stuff was risky as,and could have easily been prevented with a degree of intelligence. --[[User:MEANWHILE|MEANWHILE]] 15:14, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
**I don't do much here, so feel free to disregard this, but while the reasons behind what Famicon did were pretty retarded, I think that Michael should have been informed about this. He, Lucas, and Mimms have all been supportive, tacitly or otherwise, of us for a long time, and Mike should at least be extended the courtesy of being told when we're doing things that might involve him. While the allegations that Bob and Barb threatened to bring up would most certainly come to nothing, Mike should still be made aware of the possibility of two irate rednecks getting ready to call his boss. If he was informed before all this, however, again, disregard this. [[User:Torchwood|Torchwood]] 15:21, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
Champ's asked that messages of these kind not be posted here anymore (see [[CWCki:News|the news section]]). I think everyone involved has got their point across. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 16:16, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
**Doesn't matter anyway. I called Mike up pretending I was Famicom64 to tell him about the video so Famicom64 would get banned once everyone found out (No Chris to troll? Find someone else... :3) but he didn't even want to listen to me and he hung up on me. He really doesn't give a shit. Oh well. You live to type another line FC. This time. [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 12:27, 23 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Matthew Nobles call

2010-08-30T21:58:13Z

SerenityMoonstone:

This is important shit guys, mostly detailing Bob's theory of the conspiracy that trolling originated from [[Megan]], Michael Synder, and "a few gay guys."--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:38, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Yeah, this is awesome. Now, if we had Matthew's email, we could verify the "George Millson" case a few of us are looking into, seeing as it's possible proof of Chris hypnotizing someone into believing Chris is a good person. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
::What are you talking about? --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 20:13, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Either look at the talk pages of either CypherFDP, Msummers or me, or email enginegeorge@yahoo.com asking what happened between him and Chris. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 20:41, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
* Most upsetting Bob oriented thing to date. He's equally responsible for Chris growing up to be a useless sack of shit. I liked the world better when I thought it was all Barb's fault. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 19:06, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
** It's the final proof that Chris's vague understanding of reality and tendency towards conspiracy are just him puppetting his senile father and white trash mother. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 20:04, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** I think you mean "parotting". I doubt Chris is able to project his delusions onto even his own parents. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 23:14, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** Even further than that, the fact that Chris didn't tell his parents about his near-arrest and tried to hide it proves that he is either very afraid of them or will do anything to avoid trouble (even if it is impractical or impossible). I'm also very interested in this apparent theft of Chris's funds. I'm wondering if someone really did break in to mess with his account, or whether Chris bought more shit than he could afford, and is trying to cover it up by claiming "trolls did it" --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 20:25, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** Likely it was the latter given Chris's habit of going over the limit and over-spend far, far beyond his means. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 17:57, 30 August 2010 (EST)
**Sully, I knew all along that Bob was behind Chris's shit as much as Snorlax. My suspicion was confirmed as fact to almost everyone else (including you) with this call. Just because he punished Chris once in the past doesn't mean that he's a good parent. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 17:58, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
Who is that at the end? Sounds like Chris but...really off... - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 20:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
* Snorlaxicus Maximus. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 20:04, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
** Oh snap! So is this her longest appearance in recorded media? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 20:06, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** This needs to get transcribed, this is really good material. [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 20:13, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
**** ffffffffffffffff why did it get cut off at the end? i wanna hear more of snorlax's rambling --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 20:17, 15 August 2010 (PDT). Thanks for reading!

Nine hours without a transcription. Sons, I am disapoint.
:I'm on the part where Bob talks about trolls hacking Chris's e-mails. This shit is gold. --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 20:44, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:*Fuck. As usual, something new comes along when I'm at work. I'll take a look as soon as I get home, assuming Beat doesn't get word of this and leap upon it like the sexy, caped crusader for justice that he is. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 21:01, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

Transcribed. Hopefully without too many mistakes. I'll colorize it as soon as I get myself nice and drunk. --[[User:RTBHBX|RTBHBX]] 21:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:And colored. Tugboat Captain if you see any of your additions that I missed coloring, sorry, and please reinsert them. Oh, and I redacted the gAME pLACE phone number because I wasn't sure how kosher it was. If anyone wants to throw it in go right on ahead. --[[User:RTBHBX|RTBHBX]] 21:25, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:* Added a thing here or there, I was working on transcribing it for the past few hours too, but ya beat me to it.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:48, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

And maybe it's just me, but when Matthew says his own name at the beggining, it soulds like Nobles, with an "s". Confirm/deny? Anybody actually know him (how'd we get this in the first place)? --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:52, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
**Actually, I've listened to it, and it really does sound like he's saying Nobles. - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 02:58, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

**I made some very minor changes, including adding the s onto the first Nobles. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 19:39, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

IMO, "Matthew Nobles" had a pretty good idea here, but completely botched the delivery. When Bob says something crazy, Matthew doesn't even try to correct him; instead he just pauses, says "Sir...", and then repeats whatever he was saying before. [[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 19:53, 18 August 2010 (PDT)

==File format==
Could someone with a converter link to an mp3 version of the file? None of the media players on my computer support .ogg files. [[User:Ganondorfdude11|Ganondorfdude11]] 19:47, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

*Use VLC, dude.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:48, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

*Firefox is also compatible, lrn2google.--[[User:Hans Gruber|Hans Gruber]] 21:06, 18 August 2010 (PDT)

== Best Buy/Bank incident ==

Do we know more about this bank incident? Sounds to me like Chris probably got caught up in some sort of scam and blamed the DAMN DIRTY TROLLS for it. [[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 22:09, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Considering how stupid and naive Chris is, I wouldn't put it past him. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:26, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:So, either trolls deliberatley going after him, some usual credit card fraud that happened to happen to Chris, or Chris lying out his ass to try to cover himself. Either way, Matthew is a master of Zen for speaking with a straight voice after that paragraph.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:47, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:I doubt it's as much "credit card fraud" as Chris-chan [[Chris and money|being his own spend-spreeing self]]. Bob got a wind of his statement, and Chris did the first thing that came to his mind: blame someone else. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 23:09, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
::Either way, if trolls actually did it or Chris did it and is now lying about it, someone could get in some serious trouble for credit card fraud. If it is indeed Chris' doing, this could get good. [[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 01:36, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Well, if it ''is'' Chris' own fault (which *is* the most probable scenario), it's not fraud- if somehow he did commit fraud, it'd be entirely on accident, I'm sure. Lying to your parents about your massive debt; dumb as all fuck (read: par for course), but not illegal. Chris stealing his parents cards; that IS fraud, but the only way that'd get taken to court is if Bob and Snorlax themselves somehow decided to kick Chris out and sue him. As fucking awesome as that'd be, not a chance in hell. --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 02:03, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::: I think Chris just spent too much money and blamed those DAMN DIRTY TROLLS--[[User:Monkeytacoz|Monkeytacoz]] 07:48, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::: What I meant by fraud is assuming that somehow (Likely through Bob or Barbara) Chris finds out that he can call the credit card company and say that the charges were unauthorized and get them taken off the account. I could see Chris abusing this very quickly. [[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 12:13, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::::: Oh, in that case: :D --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 20:14, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::::: It shouldn't be that hard to convince Chris to upload a copy of his latest credit card statement. We know he spends a LOT on [[PS3|PSN DLC]], but what about his other purchases? Credit card companies take fraud claims very seriously, and would at the bare minimum shut off the card while they conduct an investigation. --[[User:Captkrisma|Captkrisma]]

==Follow up call?==
I totally think somebody should phone them up again pretending to be the owner of the GAMe PLACe this time, following on from this comment from Bob:

''"Now, if you would like to have me talk to your owner I would be glad to- and my wife would be glad to go to a meeting with him about your place and how it's corrupting the whole neighborhood!"''

It'd be nice to hear some more conspiratorial shit from Boblax about how the GAMe PLACe is "corrupting the whole neighborhood!", and we know that they are chomping at the bit to talk to the owner. Just a though...-[[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 22:17, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

*"It's all a plot by the GAMe PLACe in league with the Greene County School District to persecute our son for being autistic. The Jews and gays are sent by them to harass Christian just for being the understanding, God-fearing, well-adjusted, mature young man we raised him to be. There's also some connection to the hispanics and blacks to keep him from getting a job and taking away all the white women keeping him from his true love."--[[User:PhilRaptor|PhilRaptor]] 23:29, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

:*Could be worse: Bob and Chris could know the word "Sheeple."--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 00:57, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

::*Worse yet, Bob could know people in the Tea Party. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 09:03, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

==You do realize...==
That Matthew sounds just like Alec Benson Leary right? Coincidence? I think not. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:50, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Apparently we don't like to disclose identities of trolls, but I think "ALB" of the calls, the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] cameraman, and the Mr. Hyde of [[Magical Man Potion]] are the same person. Probably a Charlottesville FA. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 23:07, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
::I thought the same thing when he started talking. This is the most interesting thing to happen in months, hopefully we can find out about the credit card business and all of that. --[[User:Straw|Straw]] 23:28, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

== Letter ==

What sort of letter would Bob want to be sent? Chris steals troll-related mail and Bob is already talking to the (supposed) Game Place employee on the phone, so what sense does it make to want a letter? --[[User:Straw|Straw]] 23:49, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Bob doesn't know that Chris steals the troll mail.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:03, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::Too bad we do not know the mechnics of how exactly. Like does Bob or Snorlax actually get the mail out of the box, or does Chris do it? If maybe Bob would see stuff on a postcard before Chris got to it.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 00:55, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Well, if they receive a large number of postcards/letters over one day or a week containing information they may not know (house tour still being online and whatever else people can think of), they would have a better chance of seeing something or Chris getting freaked out at all these letters coming in from around the country. --[[User:Straw|Straw]] 03:53, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

== Sent video to Michael Snyder ==
{{Not A Forum}}
I sent the video to Michael on YouTube; he needs to get a hold of this and address the video considering that Bob and Barb want to talk to him THAT bad. Even though he probably gets hundreds of messages and somebody may have already sent him the vid, I just felt it was important that he got a hold of this. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 10:00, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:Isn't there a possibility Michael won't be happy that someone is pretending to work at the Game Place? I don't really know his personality or how he feels about the trolling but if it brings him into it I'm not really sure if he wants that. --[[User:Straw|Straw]] 10:05, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::I bet Mike would see the caller's intentions (knock sense into Chris's parents); even though he might be a little miffed that someone was posing as an employee of his store, he's unlikely to go ballistic over the matter like Chris would because the caller was only trying to reason with Chris's parents. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 10:21, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Regardless how he takes the use of his store as a cover, I am sure Mike will be more than glad to share with us his views of his rise to fame as a conspiracy mastermind. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 10:38, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::I was just thinking this as well. Posing as anyone from The Game Place is pretty risky. There's a big potential for collateral damage to innocent parties. --[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 13:31, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:Why would you decide to be the guy to do this? If Snyder reacts poorly to someone posing as one of his employees, we could easily be the ones to lose out. You also (presumably) have no idea if alerting Snyder conflicts with the plans of the person who was good enough to bring us this call. I've been happily lurking the CWCki for a stupidly long time and have never felt the need to get involved, but was moved to register today just to point out that this may be a stupendously dumbfuck move. [[User:LisaLisa|LisaLisa]] 16:48, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::Pretty much what LisaLisa said... I've looked at your talk page, and you have a history of doing shit that is totally unnecessary without asking. You'd think you would have learned by now.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 05:09, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

*When you say they want to talk to Snyder that bad, are you getting that from where they say they want to talk to the owner? Cos they don't mean Snyder, the owner is someone else. If you're talking about them accusing Snyder of fraud, well, maybe that's something he should be made aware of. --[[User:Silomentality|Silomentality]] 17:35, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
**The latter was the reason why I alerted Snyder; accusations of credit card fraud and stealing money from somebody's bank account are extremely serious, especially behind somebody's back (in this case Mike's). If he knew of the allegations, the Chandlers could be in deep shit for accusing him of a crime that he never committed, especially when there is no evidence of fraud. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 19:15, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
**God dammit Famicon, don't do this ever again. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 05:22, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
*** That was a really dumb thing to do Famicon. --[[User:Monkeytacoz|Monkeytacoz]] 08:26, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
**** Hey, Famicon. If accusations caused legal trouble the way you think they do, half the internet would be in prison. You're a fucking idiot. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 09:56, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
***** Whatever --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 10:20, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
***** BTW Sully (and everyone else pissed with me), you're the idiots here for seriously expecting me to cover up an alleged plot that I was never notified of. Hell I'll even CALL the Game Place if you guys don't chill out about this >:). --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 10:28, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

Famicon sez: "You! You! Every damn last one of you! YOU are the shitheads!" Hey, you know what? Fuck you, you slow-in-the-mind. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 00:42, 18 August 2010 (PDT)

****** Let guess, you're going to scream JULAYY, right?--[[User:Monkeytacoz|Monkeytacoz]] 10:53, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
****** Jesus Christ. I think there should be some sort of application process/IQ test before people are allowed in here/PVCC/etc. [[User:Xanatos|Xanatos]] 11:24, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
****** Goddamnit, Famicon. How old are you? 12? That's the only type of person I could think of who would do something as stupid as that. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 11:58, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
****** You were never notified? Since when did anything have to be run by you? Nobody is pissed because you did something without the approval of an inner circle that doesn't exist, people are pissed because what you did was fucking retarded. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 11:53, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
******* *also parrots what other people have already said, adding nothing and cluttering up this page even further* -[[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 12:20, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
Yeah, I’m going to agree-

There’s been a rash of these (people preventing the natural occurrence of events, like with the wallflower) lately, and maybe the lack of content lately is driving the less tempered kooky, but it really needs to get toned down.

I know you little kids want to be the next great troll, but honestly, you’re not that good. Why not just make a quick post asking if this would be a good idea? Is it because if you mentioned the idea on here before implementing it, maybe someone else would do it before you and get the credit?

Stop trying to gain reputation. Next time, Famicom64, ask and gain the wisdom of the crowd. If your idea is as dumb as your last one, you’d get some insight as to why and the possibility of potential damage would be prevented. --[[User:ScottyBNickles|ScottyBNickles]] 12:14, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

* Famicon, this isn't a goddamn coverup. If it was, you wouldn't know dick about it. It's a prank call that was released to the CWCki for everyone to enjoy during the current dry spell and in your attempts to be a SUPER HARDCORE EPIC TROLL you've made yourself out to be a jackass. Then, when confronted about it by far more skilled trolls like Sully, you have the nerve to give him an attitude? Where do you get off? Saying "My bad, I guess my plan wasn't so great" or something of that nature would've been entirely sufficient but instead you responded with "whatever" and called everyone idiots for being (rightfully) pissed with you. Trolling is about teamwork, especially when it comes to Chris. We work together in a group, we run things by each other, and if we screw up we accept it; not pass it off and pretend like we were right all along. Ya dun' goof'd, admit it before you make an ass out of yourself even more. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 14:09, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
** Well said there. This stuff was risky as,and could have easily been prevented with a degree of intelligence. --[[User:MEANWHILE|MEANWHILE]] 15:14, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
**I don't do much here, so feel free to disregard this, but while the reasons behind what Famicon did were pretty retarded, I think that Michael should have been informed about this. He, Lucas, and Mimms have all been supportive, tacitly or otherwise, of us for a long time, and Mike should at least be extended the courtesy of being told when we're doing things that might involve him. While the allegations that Bob and Barb threatened to bring up would most certainly come to nothing, Mike should still be made aware of the possibility of two irate rednecks getting ready to call his boss. If he was informed before all this, however, again, disregard this. [[User:Torchwood|Torchwood]] 15:21, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
Champ's asked that messages of these kind not be posted here anymore (see [[CWCki:News|the news section]]). I think everyone involved has got their point across. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 16:16, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
**Doesn't matter anyway. I called Mike up pretending I was Famicom64 to tell him about the video so Famicom64 would get banned once everyone found out (No Chris to troll? Find someone else... :3) but he didn't even want to listen to me and he hung up on me. He really doesn't give a shit. Oh well. You live to type another line FC. This time. [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 12:27, 23 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Ivy O'Neil

2010-08-12T04:00:28Z

SerenityMoonstone:

ivy is just chris trying to lay one on us trolls amirite? he probably made the whole thing up.

* Ivy's real. Yeah, I talked to her. Lurk moar.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:16, 16 April 2009 (CEST)

Odd you should say that. She must like watching him drink his own cum? -Decrumpit
:Ain't nuttin' wrong wit dat. [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 11:57, 3 May 2009 (CEST)

==Break up==
I need to fix this. No offense Fat Nigger but please, if you're not sure of something, don't make up details. A lot of what you wrote is misleading. I realize that knowing what happened based of Clyde's description can be limiting but the conclusions arisen do not follow from even just the knowledge of that description. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:57, 22 May 2009 (CEST)

: I added that stuff, sorry. I tried to stick to what Clyde wrote in the "end of an era" thread, using some of his words but didn't figure out in what order things happened. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 10:06, 24 May 2009 (CEST)

::The history tab is your friend. Most of what I do are minor fixes. [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 11:37, 24 May 2009 (CEST)

Has any one here read the description about Ivy on his Avril Lavigne parody video? Apparently Ivy killed herself recently because she wasn't able to visit Chris in Ruckersville. What bullshit have you trolls been feeding him this time? And should someone (myself perhaps) update this page with news of "her death"? --[[User:James Yeaman|James Yeaman]] 12:26, 25 July 2009 (CEST)

==dead==
YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!--[[User:Muserock7997|Muserock7997]] 15:30, 25 July 2009 (CEST)

*How about you add it to the actual article next time? --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 16:04, 25 July 2009 (CEST)

The Krapple quote isn't mine, but it LOL'd me so much! \^o^/ --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 06:37, 30 November 2009 (CET)

Oh my Dog! Why does Chris keep having people die so horribly and violently? Can't they just die without having to burn to death or asphyxiate painfully or reach terminal velocity or ''anything'' not so brutal? What part of Chris makes him do this? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 03:05, 1 December 2009 (CET)

Does Chris plan to bump off every one of his remaining ex-girlfriends in this storyline? We should start a dead pool. 20 bucks says Kacey gets decapitated by a jagged broken window or something within 10 pages. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 04:17, 1 December 2009 (CET)
*No way man. Kacey will get kidnapped by the fiendish brown Sonichu who can never treat her right. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:22, 1 December 2009 (CET)

== Who killed Ivy? ==

A small question - how did Chris figure out Ivy committed suicide? Did someone ''tell'' that to Chris, or did he just ''assume'' Ivy killed herself due to loneliness (like a certain famous lady who died in a fire)? When and how this was brought to Chris's attention, and what were his first reactions? Sauce is nice. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 13:45, 1 December 2009 (CET)
:In [[IRC (23 July 2009)]] Chris tried to spy amongst the trolls by going under the disguise of Bill Riley, yet being Chris still had his hostname being Sonichu. The trolls tagged him along and acted as if they didn't even noticed, and then gave the story that Ivy was TRUE and HONEST with Chris, but because she couldn't see him anymore she hung herself out of sorrow. Seeing how Chris was under disguise we never got a proper reaction, but I bet for at least 5 seconds he felt sad, and then he moved on. --[[User:Da-zen-man|Da-zen-man]] 21:07, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

==Need pic==

Can someone draw a pic of Ivy being strangled by elevator cables? I would do It but my drawing skills suck ass--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 18:27, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
*...why? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:24, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
** I'm pretty sure none of us need to know the answer to that one. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 19:38, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

== Phone calls ==

Were these recorded for any reason? I thought that Chris trolling was highly monitored. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 18:08, 18 June 2010 (UTC)
:Ivy wanted PVCC to respect her privacy(or something similar) and therefore her phone calls were not recorded.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:13, 18 June 2010 (UTC)

== Real or Not? ==
I'm getting a lot of confusing suggestions both that Ivy was real and wasn't real. Exactly what is the troll verdict? Is there even certainty either way? All of this seems to be left out in open, for instance: If it was trolls who mentioned Ivy's death, was she real and simply sick of him and his shit and excommunicated him and trying to spare his feelings by saying she wasn't allowed to talk to him anymore? Or was he a figment of his imagination that got out of control? (Y'know how if you lie about something for so long, you'll eventually believe the lie? Of course with Chris, it takes considerably less time.) --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 00:00, 12 August 2010.

Talk:Anna McLerran

2010-08-12T03:45:25Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Asperger's? */

==To do==
*<strike>Add photos of Anna</strike> Thought there's definitely a better pic out there.
*<strike>add pictures from that birthday party</strike> They're on the page. --[[User:Rafaal|Rafaal]] 20:57, 1 September 2009 (CEST)
*<strike>Add the Crazy Pacer story where she first meets Chris</strike>
*Piping quotes

==Anna's birthday==
Based on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/dvd/196.jpg this DVD image], Anna's b-day seems to be early August. Now we just need a day. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:12, 12 March 2009 (CET)

==Okay...==
I pulled a bunch of information on her and dumped it onto the page, I'm going to clean up the article by tomorrow...--[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 22:01, 17 March 2009 (CET)

==God Damn.==
She's hot . I want her. [[User:ChainsawChandler|ChainsawChandler]] 00:16, 19 May 2009 (CEST)
*I could pull more photos if the community wants them --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 04:50, 19 May 2009 (CEST)
:Nudes plix. [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 13:52, 26 July 2009 (CEST)

**MMM...boobies...-[[User:Gwonam|Gwonam]]

==Youtube and Myspace==
http://www.youtube.com/user/mickylaren

Youtube page

http://www.myspace.com/annamclerran

myspace page.

I dont know how to update the page with this.
[[User:Granola|Granola]] 13:37, 7 July 2009 (CEST)

==I love lesbians, more than anyone, so why don't lesbians love me?==
Hey, I was adding a summary to an IRC chat where Chris talks about the lesbian thing, and I'm curious - do we have any primary source on that besides Chris? The page mentions Vivian also passed on that tidbit, but where did she get it from?

I ask only because I spent years growing up Mormon (kicked the habit when I left home), and the notion of an out-of-the-closet lesbian Mormon is very, very strange. Especially if she's out, still active in the church, AND living in Utah. Like I mentioned on the IRC page, the church collectively hates gay people almost as much as Chris does. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 23:38, 25 November 2009 (CET)

It might be that Anna told Chris she was a lesbian in order to prevent Chris from sexually harrassing her as he did Megan. On the other hand Vivian's testimony to this might be proof to the contrary. --[[User:Liquidcole|Liquidcole]]
*Yeah, the prevailing opinion (and I think Anna even confessed this on the old PVCC) is that she's really not a lesbian and this is something she told Chris so he wouldn't harass her and rule out ANY possibility for a relationship in Chris's mind. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:55, 25 November 2009 (CET)

**I think the best thing to do is not to change the page, however. It would be best that newfags and basement dwellers think she's a dyke in order to prevent people from trying to stalk her OL and essentially being like Chris. --[[User:Liquidcole|Liquidcole]]

==[[CWCki:NAR|OH SHIT, WE WERE WRONG]]==
[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] actually bothered to follow Anna's twitter and found out that [http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6427862439 that was really Anna who said the stuff about Chris]. Can someone dig through the ED edits to find out when this was posted and who said this? If this was posted under Chris's account, was this something Anna told Chris and Chris posted it there verbatim, or just something she approved of?

But anyways, the undos - really, people here shouldn't be referred to as "disgusting bags of crap" even if it's Chris. People like CWCki because we're slightly less biased than ED and our language is more encyclopedic than full out bashing, yet with a tone of familiarity that makes articles enjoyable to read. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:56, 7 December 2009 (CET)
* Sorry about that Chief, I'll try to cut down on the insults, I'll rewrite that bit. Also, I'll look into the ED revisions. (I still think Chris a disgusting bag of crap)--[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 13:11, 7 December 2009 (CET)
**Cut down on the "ED" flavor. I hope this revision is more acceptable. Will update with research on her ED edits later. For now, I think it's important that we change the article to reflect the truth, to the best of our knowledge --[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 13:21, 7 December 2009 (CET)
**Alright, back from my terrify journey to ED. All the edits were done by the same username: [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:ChadamRocket ChadamRocket]. All their edits are about Chris, attention whoring and an edit war with an ED user named [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:Pollyanna Pollyanna]. Here's her [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/ChadamRocket contributions]--[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 13:33, 7 December 2009 (CET)
:::*Very good work, Megaman. Now we just need to find when she first posted that comment about Chris. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:57, 8 December 2009 (CET)
:::: The quote was posted on 05:52, 9 August 2008. What do you want me to do with all this information?--[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 09:20, 8 December 2009 (CET)

==Criticism==
That section needs to be reworded a bit. It's alright - more or less trying to get at "Anna defends Chris as being manipulated but Chris does all this shit on his own free will and volition" but it's not doing a very good job communicating this. Needs to be reworded and also better piping (that is, things like "own" should not link to Megan).--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:06, 8 December 2009 (CET)
* I was trying to demonstrate the many times Chris had done something strange and spontaneous without actualy listing and summarizing each one. I'll work on the re-wording. --[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 09:20, 8 December 2009 (CET)

==Chris's relationship with Anna==
I just notice there's a cursory statement about how Anna and Chris were friends, like with the birthday party thing, but no real elaboration on that. Is there any way we could perhaps muster everything Chris has said about Anna to try and piece together a narrative on the nature of their relationship? Right now, the article seems to make a passing note about Tale of the Crazy Pacer and how the two became friends but then skips into how she got involved in ED drama and the trolls. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:29, 19 December 2009 (CET)

==[[Asperger Syndrome|Asperger's?]]==
I found Anna's [http://www.formspring.me/AMcLerran formspring page] and when she was asked a question on if she hates autistic people, she stated that she has a form of autism herself. After reading a bit on Anna, I'm guessing Asperger's. I'm not sure if she's lying or whatever or whether we discussed this already, but I'd thought I'd share. [[User:HermanoBluth|HermanoBluth]] 04:16, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
:It's probably self-diagnosed, or she's kidding. [[User:Hamsterjelly|Hamsterjelly]] 21:35, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
:: Or could be part of this claim that she begs for attention. Which would be heavily ironic come to think of it. [[User:SerenityMoonstoner|SerenityMoonstone]] 23:41, 11 August 2010 (EST)

Talk:Anna McLerran

2010-08-12T03:42:02Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Asperger's? */

==To do==
*<strike>Add photos of Anna</strike> Thought there's definitely a better pic out there.
*<strike>add pictures from that birthday party</strike> They're on the page. --[[User:Rafaal|Rafaal]] 20:57, 1 September 2009 (CEST)
*<strike>Add the Crazy Pacer story where she first meets Chris</strike>
*Piping quotes

==Anna's birthday==
Based on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/dvd/196.jpg this DVD image], Anna's b-day seems to be early August. Now we just need a day. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:12, 12 March 2009 (CET)

==Okay...==
I pulled a bunch of information on her and dumped it onto the page, I'm going to clean up the article by tomorrow...--[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 22:01, 17 March 2009 (CET)

==God Damn.==
She's hot . I want her. [[User:ChainsawChandler|ChainsawChandler]] 00:16, 19 May 2009 (CEST)
*I could pull more photos if the community wants them --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 04:50, 19 May 2009 (CEST)
:Nudes plix. [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 13:52, 26 July 2009 (CEST)

**MMM...boobies...-[[User:Gwonam|Gwonam]]

==Youtube and Myspace==
http://www.youtube.com/user/mickylaren

Youtube page

http://www.myspace.com/annamclerran

myspace page.

I dont know how to update the page with this.
[[User:Granola|Granola]] 13:37, 7 July 2009 (CEST)

==I love lesbians, more than anyone, so why don't lesbians love me?==
Hey, I was adding a summary to an IRC chat where Chris talks about the lesbian thing, and I'm curious - do we have any primary source on that besides Chris? The page mentions Vivian also passed on that tidbit, but where did she get it from?

I ask only because I spent years growing up Mormon (kicked the habit when I left home), and the notion of an out-of-the-closet lesbian Mormon is very, very strange. Especially if she's out, still active in the church, AND living in Utah. Like I mentioned on the IRC page, the church collectively hates gay people almost as much as Chris does. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 23:38, 25 November 2009 (CET)

It might be that Anna told Chris she was a lesbian in order to prevent Chris from sexually harrassing her as he did Megan. On the other hand Vivian's testimony to this might be proof to the contrary. --[[User:Liquidcole|Liquidcole]]
*Yeah, the prevailing opinion (and I think Anna even confessed this on the old PVCC) is that she's really not a lesbian and this is something she told Chris so he wouldn't harass her and rule out ANY possibility for a relationship in Chris's mind. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:55, 25 November 2009 (CET)

**I think the best thing to do is not to change the page, however. It would be best that newfags and basement dwellers think she's a dyke in order to prevent people from trying to stalk her OL and essentially being like Chris. --[[User:Liquidcole|Liquidcole]]

==[[CWCki:NAR|OH SHIT, WE WERE WRONG]]==
[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] actually bothered to follow Anna's twitter and found out that [http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6427862439 that was really Anna who said the stuff about Chris]. Can someone dig through the ED edits to find out when this was posted and who said this? If this was posted under Chris's account, was this something Anna told Chris and Chris posted it there verbatim, or just something she approved of?

But anyways, the undos - really, people here shouldn't be referred to as "disgusting bags of crap" even if it's Chris. People like CWCki because we're slightly less biased than ED and our language is more encyclopedic than full out bashing, yet with a tone of familiarity that makes articles enjoyable to read. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:56, 7 December 2009 (CET)
* Sorry about that Chief, I'll try to cut down on the insults, I'll rewrite that bit. Also, I'll look into the ED revisions. (I still think Chris a disgusting bag of crap)--[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 13:11, 7 December 2009 (CET)
**Cut down on the "ED" flavor. I hope this revision is more acceptable. Will update with research on her ED edits later. For now, I think it's important that we change the article to reflect the truth, to the best of our knowledge --[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 13:21, 7 December 2009 (CET)
**Alright, back from my terrify journey to ED. All the edits were done by the same username: [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:ChadamRocket ChadamRocket]. All their edits are about Chris, attention whoring and an edit war with an ED user named [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:Pollyanna Pollyanna]. Here's her [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/ChadamRocket contributions]--[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 13:33, 7 December 2009 (CET)
:::*Very good work, Megaman. Now we just need to find when she first posted that comment about Chris. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:57, 8 December 2009 (CET)
:::: The quote was posted on 05:52, 9 August 2008. What do you want me to do with all this information?--[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 09:20, 8 December 2009 (CET)

==Criticism==
That section needs to be reworded a bit. It's alright - more or less trying to get at "Anna defends Chris as being manipulated but Chris does all this shit on his own free will and volition" but it's not doing a very good job communicating this. Needs to be reworded and also better piping (that is, things like "own" should not link to Megan).--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:06, 8 December 2009 (CET)
* I was trying to demonstrate the many times Chris had done something strange and spontaneous without actualy listing and summarizing each one. I'll work on the re-wording. --[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 09:20, 8 December 2009 (CET)

==Chris's relationship with Anna==
I just notice there's a cursory statement about how Anna and Chris were friends, like with the birthday party thing, but no real elaboration on that. Is there any way we could perhaps muster everything Chris has said about Anna to try and piece together a narrative on the nature of their relationship? Right now, the article seems to make a passing note about Tale of the Crazy Pacer and how the two became friends but then skips into how she got involved in ED drama and the trolls. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:29, 19 December 2009 (CET)

==[[Asperger Syndrome|Asperger's?]]==
I found Anna's [http://www.formspring.me/AMcLerran formspring page] and when she was asked a question on if she hates autistic people, she stated that she has a form of autism herself. After reading a bit on Anna, I'm guessing Asperger's. I'm not sure if she's lying or whatever or whether we discussed this already, but I'd thought I'd share. [[User:HermanoBluth|HermanoBluth]] 04:16, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
:It's probably self-diagnosed, or she's kidding. [[User:Hamsterjelly|Hamsterjelly]] 21:35, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
:: Or could be part of this claim that she begs for attention. [[User:SerenityMoonstoner|SerenityMoonstone]] 23:41, 11 August 2010 (EST)

Talk:White knight

2010-08-09T01:33:01Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* TV Tropes */

Svenka really isn't the same sort of counter-troll as Robert Simmons V. Bob was actually a troll, who fought the trolls to gain Chris's trust and he turned out to be a pretty heck of a troll (see the church audio). Svenka is a troll who seems to be doing this because s/he thinks it's funny to fuck with us fucking with Chris instead of fucking with Chris. The two really are different sorts of creatures. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:23, 5 May 2009 (CEST)
: More importantly, is there a reason the church audio isn't mentioned in [[Robert Simmons V]] or [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]? [[User:Axe|Axe]] 08:19, 5 May 2009 (CEST)
:* Actually, no, and I just think it's because people forgot it exists because it only came out like, a day before the date Chris had with Emily. That and no one felt like listening to an audio that was mostly a church sermon with Chris either singing loudly or saying "HMMMM, INTERESTING" very loudly to things the pastor was saying. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:27, 6 May 2009 (CEST)

==Chris is abusing his monthly tugboat==
Chris is stealing our taxpayer's money.. and I believe "Old Time Rock And Roll on Shredwud" is the worst example of him abusing his monthly tugboat.
Pulled out from one YouTube user's comment: "As Americans suffer the worst recession in living memory, with tens millions of people struggling to put food on the table and keep the lights on, a lazy, would-be rapist and pedophile spends his days playing video games at taxpayers expense."

Should I point this out as one of the few reasons why White Knighting should be justified?
--[[User:Shogun|shogun]] 05:30, 19 October 2009 (CEST)

==Redirects from Counter trolls and anti trolls==

I think these two ideas can be mentioned briefly in this article, but since they're not, I think they need to be in order to keep the redirect. It seems that anti-trolls and counter trolls are not the same as white knights.

White knights are people who see Chris and go "BAWWWWWWWWWW, he's an autistic, people are bullying him, I should troll them instead since they're being mean" or "LEAVE CHRIS ALONE!" I can't think of too many genuine white knights. Maybe Harbal was.

Counter trolls are people who see us and say "Wow, these fuckers spend all their time trolling a retard and that's fucking pathetic. I want to fuck things up for them." I think this might be Svenka's real intention, not so much a genuine concern for Chris but because she gets some joy of fucking up the efforts to fuck up Chris.

Anti-trolls are people who decide to work false flag and act like they're on Chris's side, fighting off trolls and making videos in hope of gaining Chris's trust. This is what Robert Simmons V more or less did, troll Chris by pretending to fight the trolls in order to gain his trust. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:34, 6 May 2009 (CEST)

: You're right, I made a mistake. This article already encompasses both white knights and counter trolls (with or without hyphen?) and I think it should stay that way because the listed reasons can apply to both groups. If it stays, it should be restructured a little and renamed to something like [[White knights and counter trolls]]. Then write a short article on [[Anti-troll]], or redirect it to [[Trolls]]? [[User:Axe|Axe]] 05:51, 7 May 2009 (CEST)

== Moar on the white knight antics ==

There's moar [[User:Anonymous/CWCville Archives#Quixotic Avenger/CriticalMindz (AKA No More Cyber Crimes/Quixotic Avenger, AKA 9v47w1hk0jyr|here]]. --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 07:29, 7 May 2009 (CEST)

== Block vs. Ban ==

Blocking and banning are different on Wikipedia. A ban is an outright, written "You [the person, not the account] are not allowed on Wikipedia anymore" instated by the ''whole community'', while a block is just ''one admin'' blocking the ''account''. [[User:Semicolon|Semicolon]] 03:51, 12 August 2009 (CEST)
: True - in case of Wikipedia. However, I was talking about Chris's behaviour websites in general. I don't mind either term being used in the article, though - in most other websites, these terms would be mostly synonymous. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 11:18, 25 August 2009 (CEST)

==empathy==
In the Empathy section, there is a note that the people in question empathizing with Chris are autistic; it reads awkwardly because all auts lack empathy and are, by definition, psychopaths. --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 01:22, 9 December 2009 (CET)
*hahaha what? sauce plz --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 04:03, 9 December 2009 (CET)

== How serious should this article be? ==

There is a website called [http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Main_Page RationalWiki] that primarily exists to uncover the lulz that pseudoscience pushers promote. (Think of it as ED for geeks, if it helps.) The contributors generally take a humorous approach on a lot of topics. Yet, at some point, they found out that the article on [http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Andrew_Schlafly Andy Schlafly] was ranked high in Google, so they decided that the article should be serious and factual in tone, so that people who're considering paying money for ''(*ahem*)'' high quality home-schooling tutoring and online courses at a family-friendly ''(*ahem*)'' encyclopedia would know what they're getting.

So this brings me to this question. This is a relatively important article, and I hope that most people read this early on when they first stumble into the big mess that Chris has made. This article is already fairly serious in tone, and is shaping up into a nice guide on the topic of "why helping Chris has been found futile, and why the trolls actually have a good point". Should we put in some deliberate effort and place in guidelines here to make sure this article stays that way? "This is an important article. Feel free to improve it. Just keep in mind, more so than usual, that you shouldn't ruin it." --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 14:58, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

:Good thought there Wwwwolf. That's a question that covers more areas of the CWCki than just this article, and I've never really seen it addressed. Conventional wisdom seem to be:'If Champthom likes it, then it's good enough for me'. Problem is, I'm never sure what Champ actually likes. Policy time? --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 16:30, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

::Perhaps a protocol (it sounds cooler than policy). You could set a number of guidelines/rules regarding how a page should be created and maintained. I think in light of the Wallflower incident it would be a good idea since the Cwcki should be held to a higher standard (than, say, the ED). Sounds like there should be a topic page on this issue. --[[User:Caboose_-1|Caboose_-1]] 22:33, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

:::We have some of those rules in place already. Style hasn't been addressed in detail though. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 17:25, 26 March 2010 (UTC)

::*Style is something we need to work on. However, let me address first this article and then about what makes a good CWCki page and the rationale of what I think is good.

:::To be honest, I'm not a fan of this page. It's very well written, don't get me wrong, but it's not very encyclopedic. It's more of an essay on why one shouldn't white knight for Chris than an article that one would look for information about past white knighting attempts for Chris. Personally, I'm not even a big fan of what constitutes a white knight since in some circles, anyone who doesn't want to see Chris hit in the face with a baseball bat is a "white knight." There's also a tendency to assume that people knew everything we know about Chris now back in 2008. Vivian's AIM chat with Chris is perceived as "white knighting" when this was back when people thought that maybe Chris could be reasoned with.

:::However, I tend to leave it be since it's an exception for the rule. If we were strict, then [[Audiobooks]] would need to go in the Fan index because there's plenty of other fan works Chris has mentioned before that don't have their own entries but it's the exception to the rule given the fact it's core of troll culture. Likewise, this article is an interesting look at meta-trolling, that is topics that arise from trolling Chris himself. Fuck, in a way this article could very be reworked to be called "Meta-trolling" but nobody would know what the fuck that means.

:::I think it's very possible to make this page better, though I'm not entirely sure how. I know ED has a template along the lines of "This article is good, don't fuck with it" so maybe something along the lines of this here?

:::Also, let me all let you in on a secret - I tend to run CWCki in a [[Wikipedia:Common law|common law]] fashion. I try to see myself as the judge, I generally look to Wikipedia to see how they handle things (in other words, established precedence) and as things come up here, I try to establish a precedent based on the circumstances and try to find a general principle to govern things. Ideally, a wiki should work that when people collaborate, some sort of order arises spontaneously that works for us.

:::Just like we're [[CWCki:NOTED|not ED]], we're also not Wikipedia. We're CWCki. We can do what works for us. I personally think we should lean towards Wikipedia than ED, but we have flexibility.

:::Now, what makes a good page and when should it be created? There's obvious cases when a page should be made - new media arises, that sort of thing. But what about something else? First, ask - "How does this relate to Chris? Is this something crucial into understanding Chris?" I recall around the time of the [[Father Call]], people wanted a page for Matt Devoria. But then you ask - "Can this material be incorporated into another page? Can it be done without going off on in another direction?" Easily Matt Devoria can be incorporated into the Father Call - otherwise, you have an article where it's along the lines of "Matthew Devoria is [[Kacey]]'s father" and that's it. Furthermore, is it essential to know who Matthew Devoria is outside the context of how he relates to Chris? Obviously you need to know something about [[Clyde Cash]] or any of Chris's sweethearts in order to understand why Chris is rambling on about these people and how they're connected to Chris. Then, ask "Is it exceptional enough to have an entire article written about it?" Someone pointed out that it was odd that [[Heather Inglesias]] has her own page despite being an off screen character while certain characters who have actually appeared in the comic have not. I believe such a page is warranted because the reasons ''why'' Chris created Heather (to appease people into thinking he's not a total homophobe, such that it would ruin his chances for china) gives us some insight into Chris's mind.

:::If I delete a page, it's usually for a few reasons. Obvious reason #1 is namefagging - someone thinks they're troll persona is SO COOL that they deserve an entire page about it (this hasn't happened in quite some time). Most common reason is usually because it's something that can be incorporated into another article or really doesn't deserve an entire article. I recall people making articles for those radio shows Chris appeared on and I deleted those articles because a one like reference to those shows could easily be made in the content they discuss (I think someone made an article for a transcript of the show, which is kinda iffy, IMHO. Need to consider that). A lot of the time though, it's people don't plan. They make an article, might write one sentence and that's it. You don't have to write the entire article in advance (though it helps), but at least leave an idea of what you're aiming at on the talk page so people know how to proceed. If you make a page, say "Chris and his parents," don't write a one sentence like "Chris doesn't get along with his parents (I'm not saying this should be a page, just an example). Sometimes it's not so much I delete a page because I think it shouldn't be a page but it's just so awful and all over the place that I think it should be scrapped and people start over. If it looks like people put considerable work into it, then I'll usually make a subpage of the original page creator's user page so they can work on it before making it a proper article again.

:::Style, I agree, is one thing we could work on, namely in tone and whatnot. But as I said, we do have flexibility and we can do what works. Personally, I'm not a big fan of setting everything in stone since that can ruin flexibility as people point to the rules and say "See? You have to do it MY way!" I do think that the [[CWCki:Style|Style guide]] needs some work in terms of tone. We really should be avoiding essays like this article and focus more on encyclopedic toned articles, yet still make articles pleasurable to read to encourage people to utilize the CWCki. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:16, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

Champ, it's times like these that I remember how much I love you. You're saying you want some work on the style guide? --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 11:36, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

==TV Tropes==

I spotted a TV Tropes white knight attempt on the Sonichu page, so I added it. By the way, does this article need rewriting? I'm inclined to think so. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 00:55, 29 April 2010 (UTC)
:Tropers aren't bad people, (though they are often people with incredibly bad taste). I assume whoever wrote that read this article in full, and really genuinely wants Chris to stop being such a monumental screwup. Their linking it back here is probably their way of admitting that it's (low-level) white knighting, and that it really is futile.
:Granted, it's all a moot point because Chris has never read TVtropes.
:Anyways I think this article is pretty good, but Ronichu, so far all your works have been awesome, so if you have plans to make it better, by all means go nuts.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:32, 29 April 2010 (UTC)
:I'm not really sure if this can classify as "white knighting". It's "inadvertent white knighting" at best. They don't seem to have any intention of stopping the trolling or even acknowledge the trolls outside of "all your fans are trolls". Other white knights we have on here have directly tried to interfere with trolling/stop it. I don't think that's the case here. While Chris getting help might put an end to trolling him, I doubt they had that in mind, not that it's ever even going to happen. Basically, I'm saying, "should we just remove this section" or "can we re-write it to point out that their white knighting is unintentional"?--[[image:spinningwindmill.gif|30px]][[User:Anon1Guardian|DrSerbia]][[image:spinningwindmill.gif|30px]] 15:25, 11 June 2010 (UTC)

Anyone think Chris did infact see the message and erased it himself? [[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 21:32, 8 August 2010 ((EST))

White knight

2010-08-09T01:27:07Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap */

[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]]}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the internet to help or defend someone else on the internet against other people on the internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.

'''Counter trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris-chan has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving or even beyond such assistance. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[Racism|racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him on good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

BAAAAAAAW! [[Kick the Autistic]] is a cruel game. Quit it!

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that he suffers from serious mental deficiencies of some kind.

Chris [[fail]]s to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref> [[Sonichu 7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he probably hasn't "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris cannot "read between the lines" or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets [[Family Guy]] as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref>

Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably many more have helped give us the man-child we know today.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]], [[Chris and his Ego]]''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he [[Dating education|magically dreams up his own solution]].

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to dealt with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides might not exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions," Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref>

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[trolls|fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading Sonichu, Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was "Pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===

Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris Chandler. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a misogynist has nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]"... "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n—!]]"]]
Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing ''nasty'' things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.

Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids in card games]] and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the internet, couldn't list any redeemable qualities he possessed.

Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground Up]].

After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''him''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he [[The July 10th Messages|addressed a person named 'SonichuIzCool']] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''was'') probably the only genuine fan of Sonichu discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]". He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.

In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center terror attacks]]. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but he used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right| Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son, Mike Junior or not]]. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], allowed him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[Youtube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris is under a lot of [[stress]], and can not make the video. Mike Jr. is married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grieves and anger with three words " [[Chris and remorse|I am sorry.]]"

===Chris cares only for himself===

Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]].

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]]}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans." He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===

[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]

Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being overweight.

Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try". Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===

* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.

See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===

Hell-bent on spreading his version of the truth because he's True and Honest, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing, so what's the problem?]]

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. So what's the problem?

===Chris made himself an outcast===

High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the Dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction_sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The Game Place (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.

===[[Stress]]===

In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_October_21st,_2008|Crash Into Slumber]].

===Chris will not even read your message===

The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===

Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna_McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant manchildren flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home.

If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the internet.

If the custodian bans Chris from the internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pS0kIavTfic real life trolls] at the mental hospital.

If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to circumstances that cannot be foreseen, he will be trolled there as well.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertations of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly kicked autistic]].

===The trolling helps Chris, and indeed others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an internet-famous unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#What other aspies think of Chris|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.

{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email — get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism}}

Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, but he's slow to act as well; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the Sonichu comic — and it ultimately was, ''over a year later.''

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them – some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding, even [http://thedevilspanties.com/ Jennie Breedon of Devil's Panties] stretches her daily postings with stick figures (with humorous words), random art postings, and shameless plugs for her merchandise. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

==Examples==

:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

[[Svenka]] is a counter-troll.

On 6 [[May 2009]], [[YouTube]] user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS.'''

====TV Tropes====

[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on Sonichu] used to have a white-knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. [[white knight|Please listen to us - for once.]]|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, TV Tropes doesn't have as much experience with Chris as we do and fails to realize that [[chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]]

For reasons unknown, the message was removed.

==In Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal man alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three afore-mentioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely.]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Talk:Dreams

2010-08-07T16:14:27Z

SerenityMoonstone:

Not even close to finished here, but I figured I'd toss up the starters here. One bit of info I'm still looking for on this one. Is there a source hereabouts for the old claim that he had the Crystal dream when he was 21? I can't find one, although I haven't looked that hard yet. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 19:28, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
*That'd be good if someone could find it, though you've managed to find a quote at least about it being mentioned in a dream. Anyways, fantastic job. You've managed to take my page suggestion and turn it into something better than I originally planned. Perhaps this is too speculative, but do you (or anyone else) think it would be too much of a stretch to suggest that the fact his "Sonic on Game Boy" dream came true, that has caused Chris to put creedence in his other dreams (i.e. Sonichu will be famous, he'll have a daughter named Crystal, etc.)? Anyways, good job thus far. My only comment for improvement is to cite your sources. WHICH IRC chat does he talk about the PandaHalo dream (I totally forgot about that one, so it'd be good if you could source it). Keep up the good work. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:06, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
** Thanks. The Sonic thing is a good one, I'll look up the dates of when Sega started going cross-platform and see what I can put together. And yeah, there's definitely some stuff where I need to clean up and add some references. One more thing, by the way -- I've seen it claimed he had dreams analogous to the Blanca one about Ivy and Julie. Know where he mentioned those? (I'm guessing it might be somewhere in those reams of untranscribed Mumble chats and so forth.) [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 21:08, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
** I swear Chris mentioned the Sonic dream coming true at some point. --[[User:Raikonos|Raikonos]] 01:39, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
** How about a mention of the recurring dream where he meets his sweetheart in a watery maze? [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 19:17, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
*** Good one. Does anybody know of a time he's mentioned that dream aside from the Buzz quiz?
**** We could always drop a letter in the Mailbag asking about the details of it. Maybe say you're a psychoanalysist and are interested in the dream for X/Y/Z reasons? We could also cross-reference the contents of a dream with one of those dream dictionaries and see what they're supposedly meant to mean. e.g. Looking up water (the impression I get from "watery" is that it's underwater - much like 'watery grave'), maze and girlfriend yields; '''(under)water;''' To dream that you are underwater, suggests that you are feeling overcome with emotions and are in need of greater control in your life. You may be in over your head regarding some situation '''maze;''' To dream that you are in a maze, denotes that you need to deal with the task on hand on a more direct level. You are making the situation harder than it really is. Alternatively, the maze symbolizes life's twists and turns. It represents confusion, missteps, feeling lost or being misled. '''girlfriend'''; To see your girlfriend in your dream, represents your waking relationship with her and how you feel about her. So, combined; The watery maze dream signifies that Chris needs to get in control of his life, and focus more directly on finding a girlfriend (rather than playing a passive role). [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 20:27, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
***** Although this sounds accurate to Chris's life and actual sound advice, keep in mind he probably doesn't understand that dreams are most likely not to be taken 100% literally (no matter how real and quick it seems), he'll never research this, he'll never take responsibility for himself and his actions in order to tackle things directly. More importantly he's too lazy to take a direct role and rather would wait for things to come to him. Although, if he ever did read what his dream meant, giving his track record for blindly following dreams and whims, he might do it for a bit before giving up because it's too much hard work. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 12:14 7 August, 2010 (EST)

Talk:Dreams

2010-08-07T16:13:29Z

SerenityMoonstone:

Talk:List of Chris's lies

2010-08-07T02:04:40Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* To do */

==To do==
This is a personal thing I very much detest about Chris, that is, how he lies. I think it's wise we document every instance Chris has blatantly lied by describing the lie and how he blatantly says he lies. Case in point - his trip to Redmond, when he never went and he even says to Miyamoto how he had to "mistruth" or some stupid shit like that about the video. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:07, 11 March 2009 (CET)

Maybe we could make sure they are organized by date and time as much as possible, some of us prefer to see it as a slope through his life as progressively gets worse and worse. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 22:04, 6 August 2010 (EST)

==Comments about lying==
If I'm correct, Chris makes quite a few comments about lying like "I only lie some of the time" in the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:18, 11 November 2009 (CET)

=Hope you got a LOT of spare time=

srsly, this article could be its own wiki if every one was covered. [[User:William Maize|William Maize]] 18:34, 11 March 2009 (CET)
*I'd mostly want to cover the major ones, the cases where Chris tries to pull a fast one on us but not fooling anyone. I wouldn't see any merit in documenting every single lie, which in some cases could very well be the result of his short term memory (in terms of discrepancies) or if you mean "lies" like that he has autism, when frankly we really can't deny his claims on that.
:Anyways, what I have in mind are the big ones, mostly to show how little Chris cares about his "fans", and how Chris can be a borderline sociopath who sees no problem with lying if it's for himself and how much of a hypocrite he is when he preaches "honesty" all the time. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:08, 11 March 2009 (CET)

Wow, this page is a lot shorter than I thought it would be.

*That's because no one has really worked on it. Also, please remember to sign your comments (It's four tildas). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:30, 20 April 2009 (CEST)

=Some Other Lies=

I may add upon these sometime, but if someone wants to get started, they can.

*The Sonichu Medallion being shipped back to Chris-chan from Blanca when it is obvious the new one he had was a fake.
*About his Adam & Eve purchases of phallic devices.
*About the batch of nudes that was sent out and he claimed, "They must have hacked my webcam."

**Yes, yes, yes. These are the sorts of things this articles should address. Not half truths, not things Chris could get away with subjectively (for example, Chris "lying" about being fat - objectively he is but the point is that you could get away with saying that it's a matter of aesthetics and a subjective valuation) or exaggerations (like his eye colors - his eyes are really different colors but you'd never notice if he didn't make it fucking obvious in the comics and go on about how his eyes are different colors). I mean flat out lies, like the very basic definition of a lie, a total untruth. One of the most disgusting things about Chris is that he blatantly lies like this and he thinks he's being "clever" and outwitting us but he's just making himself come out worse. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:30, 8 June 2009 (CEST)

*I put in the disclaimer he's adding to all of his comics now because I find it horribly lulzy and so obviously a lie. [[User:SirCucumber|SirCucumber]] 22:41, 11 September 2009 (CEST)

*I think a good companion article to this one would be a list of Chris's excuses, of which he has many. Autism, stress, "it's a parody," lots of people shit their pants from time to time, lots of guys drink their own semen, I'm saving that dildo for my future sweetheart, my counselor said it's okay, etc. [[User:Alteceastlansing|Alteceastlansing]] 08:53, 5 October 2009 (CEST)

==Addressing Liquid==
I felt compelled to do a big spergin' write up of his [[Addressing Liquid]] video to show how full of shit he is. I put it at the end of this as I thought the analysis would be more fitting here than on the video page itself, but if anyone feels it might be better put there or someplace else, or deleted entirely, that's all good. [[User:Alteceastlansing|Alteceastlansing]] 07:48, 23 October 2009 (CEST)
*I just wanted to say that was totally awesome. [[User:Beat|Beat]] 08:42, 23 October 2009 (CEST)

== Simonchu ==

Now this is actually a lie:
{{quote|I had previously stated inspiration from Evan George's Simonchu Character; that was a fabrication, and I apologize for leaving the lie up for this whole time.

Simonchu was Never an Inspiration, or had Anything to do with Simonla Rosechu's creation whatsoever.

Thank you for being patient while I had thought further on Simonla's Background Story. }}

We have e-mails between Evan and Chris discussing how Chris liked the character, he'd use it in the comic, etc. This is a flat out lie - a self serving one, as I'm guessing Chris thinks he's going to weasel out of a possible lawsuit by claiming he happened to think of an electric-ground hedgehog Pokemon all by himself, which is why professionals don't accept unsolicited fan submissions. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:27, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

== Deletion ==
[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux]] raised a concern that,just like [[Fail]], this is a listy bunch of tl;dr that encourages little other than everyone piping every third word in articles to [[Lie]]. It's well known that Chris lies out of his ass, so all this does is regurgitate content that is better summarized elsewhere. I figure the best way to stop the ED-esque piping to [[lie]] is just not to have an article on [[lie]] at all, since said article is superfluous anyway. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 00:43, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
*May I suggest then that this be turned into a Redirect to Honest Content and that we just have a subsection there about his lying? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:53, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Idea. That might be the best thing. Expose the better bits to Sonichu Crystals and then redirect everything else. It saves time, and will kill that piping too. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 00:56, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
::*Redirecting wouldn't kill the eighty bazillion unnecessary pipes though. I'm fine with a merge. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 00:58, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*Are we merging to [[Honest Content]] then? --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 01:33, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
::::* I'm reappropriating the Liquid Section in preparation for deletion. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 01:36, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::I'm just saying, if you completely remove all traces of the page without the redirect, then you'll have a hell of a lot of red links to fix. I hope your up to it. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:33, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
::::::I can remove the redlinks without trouble. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 18:52, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Let me have my curry (and Cobras) and I'll finish taking the useful text out. Unless you want to get on it before, then the article will be set for deletion. -[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 18:54, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

===No, no, NO===
Just because people poorly pipe to Lie does not mean the page should go. Chris lies blatantly and these lies need to be documented. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater - this article needs a better definition of what constitutes a lie and what should link to "lie." Chris changing his mind, half truths, etc. are not necessarily lies.

Limiting pipes to Lie should be ideal, in addition to improving article quality. Like I said, let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:36, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
*All right. I guess you've got a better idea than I; I wasn't exactly hell bent on getting this deleted, just throwing that out as an option. What's your take on Fail then? Cleanup there too? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 20:16, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

Chris and his ego

2010-07-27T04:22:08Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Naïveté */

{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]]}}

{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (English Revised Version)]], really hitting the nail on the head}}

'''Egotism''', out of all of Chris's flaws, is the most important and self-destructive. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.
[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the mall for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved children)]]
==Origins==
Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his problems and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against others tilts far in his favor. His autism compounded the problem by making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris_and_reality#Outside_of_the_comics|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, but Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for the better part of a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and people let him.

===The Enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A]]
{{quote|He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.|Proverbs 13:24}}
Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a man that is almost 30 years old and has autism should live at home with his parents, specially when his autism is as "high functioning" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems (from emotional disorders to mental retardation) live far more independently than Chris does, whether alone, alone with supervision, or in group homes.

For children like Chris, public school special education is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly Tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and Money}}

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. | Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a [[monthly tugboat|"monthly tugboat"]] as he calls it. Although intended for people who were unable to work, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system due to the fact that he is simply unwilling to work on anything except drawing [[Sonichu (comic)|his shitty comic]], [[Video games|playing video games]], and [[Love Quest|trying to find a girlfriend.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle—and thus his worldview—sustainable.

===Blind Luck and the Cherry Picking Fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park]]
A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|two-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fanmail, letters-to-the-editor, internet commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to Nintendo is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved...medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in [[PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' as icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgment. As he graduated from PVCC in 2006, his writing shows that [[Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion has led him to believe that he has a legion of fans; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirm it.

==Narcissistic Personality Disorder==
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST artist's depiction.]]
It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|Narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for]] [[Barbara|admiration]], and [[Autism|lack]] [[Chris and remorse|of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by [[PVCC|early adulthood]] and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1.has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Art|exaggerates]] [[Honor roll|achievements]] [[CADD|and]] [[Sonichu (comic)|talents]], expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]])

2.is preoccupied with fantasies of [[Sonichu|unlimited success]], [[CWCville|power]], [[Honor roll|brilliance]], [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the ground up|ideal love]]

3.believes that he or she is [[Autistic|"special"]] and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]] (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4.requires excessive [[Fanbase|admiration]]

5.has a sense of [[Barbara|entitlement]], i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] [[Honor Roll|favorable]] treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

6.is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., [[Cole Smithey|takes advantage of others]] to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]]

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan|feelings and needs]] [[Wallflower|of others]]

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her

9.shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]]}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris's ego, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both.

==Manifestations==

Chris's egotism manifests itself in many ways.

===Unwarranted Self-Importance===
[[Image:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
:''See also: [[True and Loyal Fanbase]]''
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before 2000.|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]]}}
As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Barbara|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a [[personal army]]:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[True and Loyal Fanbase|E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant-gratification, instant-acknowledgment, and instant-attention--good or bad--that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

===Persecution Complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint CWC the Martyr.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he [[lie|"takes responsibility for"]] are still out of his hands. His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[troll]]ing, among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a quagmire of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, THAT IS MY HOUSE}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], to [[Autism|being the social outcast we all know and hate]]) thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions.

===Naïveté===
Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. The man is like the Sith: he only deals in absolutes. Either you're with him or you're a [[troll]]. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk—even from professionals—about the similarities between [[Asperger Syndrome]] and [[autism]], denies that there are any shortcomings in his [[Sonichu (comic)|work]], and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris- getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], [[Semen|drinking his jiz]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening [[Sonichu|his]] [[Copyright|identity]]. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start a [[CWCki|wiki]] to keep track of it all.

In 2009 and 2010, Chris has slowly begun to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an animal. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: The Pride Before the Fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}
Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, this attitude has transcended self-confidence and erupted into full-blown hubris: Chris is convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[Chris and art|art]] are not just competitive with his peers, but clearly superior.

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}
[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]
All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also [[Barbara|extremely sheltered]], he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing [[CWCville|elaborate fantasy worlds]]. This is also probably why he sees mundane chores as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of [[CWCville]].

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''confirmation bias''. For example, Chris has decided [[homos]] are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm_Sorry,_Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most obvious when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a [[Parody#Hypocrisy|parody]], but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

===Materialism===

{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website, more than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself, hoarding it, and by some twisted form of reality make him think that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when in reality any human being would clearly see that this man is [[Naïve|delusional]]. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with not working but getting [[money]] for sitting on his ass anyway, claiming he can get more from his [[tugboat]] than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money and believes everything he can buy he is entitled to. This stems from childhood when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to to talk by giving him toys if he could read them out loud. Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

Compulsive hoarding combined with compulsive shopping mixed with autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to Crystal in the future. He also seems to "collect" things. This may be why Pokemon is so appealing to him. He has the compulsion to buy everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender Misanthropy===

A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people]] through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats [[homos]], seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===

{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]]}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place).

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the [[white knight]]s. These [[slow-in-the-minds|misguided souls]] have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]], and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], became a troll when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious [[monthly tugboat]] on something useful when there are [[video games]] to buy).

==Examples of Chris's Ego in the Real World and in the Comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{clear}}
==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Red String of Fate

2010-07-26T23:19:25Z

SerenityMoonstone:

[[Image:Red-string.jpg|thumb|The red string, as shown in ''Excel Saga''. Notice the lack of any references to "fishing".]]
[[Image:Chrisfish.png|thumb|left|Best idea EVER]]

The '''Red String of Fate''' was a plot [[Chris]] came up with in [[2004]] to attract a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. He probably got it from ''[[Excel Saga]]'' or some other shitty [[animu]] series or even the popular webcomic series, [http://www.redstring.strawberrycomics.com/ Red String], as the red string is allegedly an important metaphor in Asian courting rituals, similar to the concept of having a soulmate (emphasis on metaphor). Chris's subtle expression of courtship failed to be appreciated as he took too many [[autistic|artistic]] liberties with the concept.

According to [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]], Chris would attach a paper heart to a red string and throw it at women, then pull the string like he was "reeling" them in. The small red heart had text around the outside reading "PICK ME UP AND BRING ME BACK TO MY OWNER," an ingenious strategy to reel in da ladies.

On August 5 [[2004]], a [[Jerkop|mall security guard]] took Chris's red string off him. It's the last we've ever heard of the idea.

{{quote|"I have a NEW idea that I am sure will REEL in a girlfriend on a FATEFUL RED STRING. August 5: I’ve had my worst trip to the Mall. I was working with my Heart on a Red String of Fate, when from out the blue,a JERK COP shatter my Heart and ripped up the Red String!"|[[CWC's Diary]]}}

[[Category: Chris-chan]]

There is a certain irony, given how much Chris whines about the [[Trolls|trolls]], that this method of fishing is known as [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trolling_%28fishing%29 trolling.]

Chris and health

2010-07-23T14:23:12Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Other deformities */

{{quote|Eat less cow meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and Fruit are a must; Walking or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some [[Guitar Hero]] on [[Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|Chris' advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag_2</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|Chris in a few years.]]
[[Chris]], as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine could plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], lack of exercise, poor nutrition, refusal to take a shower, and the grave disrepair/uncleanliness of his surroundings, he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life threatening medical problems such as cancer, heart disease or diabetes.

==Nutrition==
{{main|Obesity}}
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|left|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of this word]]
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily.]]
Chris is a known fast food lover, eating either [[McDonald's]] or Burger King (usually with his [[Bob Chandler|father]]) at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to 4 times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring caloric intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. On the rare occasion that Barbara does cook, it usually involves some cheap and easy-to-make food that often is not healthy.{{cite}} Many, many times, has Chris been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water, and that he drinks a lot of [[CWC Cola|carbonated drinks]] and [[semen|energy drinks]] (which have been proven to increase erratic behavior). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:

* Breakfast: Usually nothing because he usually sleeps from 6 am to noon, but on the rare occasion he does eat McDonald's, or some other fast food restaurant with breakfast options.
* Lunch: Something quick at home, or fast food, either alone or with his father.
* Dinner: Eat out with family or poorly cooked meal by Barbara (although with her deteriorating health, her poorly cooked meals may just become replaced by more fast food) or fast food.

In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[Dirty crapped briefs|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|ramming stuff in his shit tube]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_incontinence#Constipation</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no vegetables or fruit is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.

In short, Chris is a fatty, he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.

It seems that his diet has finally caught up with him, as it was revealed in the [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father that Chris's doctor has prescribed him [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atorvastatin Lipitor] for his high cholesterol. Chris claims that he stopped taking the drug in the fall of 2009, but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the conversation) is uncertain.

===Places where Chris likes to eat===
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonalds]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]
* [[Chick-fil-A]]

==Exercise==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is Strong and Powerful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

Chris has probably never had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[video games]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight left his skin a frightening white that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room while making videos. One might say that Chris is actually strong from having a lot of weight; however, in normal people, this happens because the muscles must build up in order to be capable of moving a large weight. Since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of blubber, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise. Needless to say Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to [[I AM STRONG|flexing]] and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting an office chair and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could defeat both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should it to come to blows, and as such has challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is, he's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWCFighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to get his wish and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the Father Call and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog five miles a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take six breaks to catch his breath, whereas with a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.
{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}
[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|Did you bathe? *SPOILER* No]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris marinates in his own filth.]]

Chris's hygiene is perhaps his worst quality. Many times has Chris regarded [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower. According to [[Emily]], he smelled of "rotten watermelons;" [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said body odor masked with gallons of Axe.

Because of the lack of showers and the decrepit state of his home, the kitchen and bath tiles are covered with a disgusting black and brown mold. Curiously, he endorses Axe Shower Gel. Considering that he refuses to take showers and is a sucker for Axe products, one wonders what he even bothers using it for.

Chris compounds this problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes. Close perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for as many as three or four days at a stretch. Fortunately, for his wardrobe at least, Chris sleeps in the nude, except for socks.{{cite}} There's something to think about.

Unless being immersed in his surroundings for so long has destroyed his ability to note his foul vapors, it's a marvel that Chris refuses to indulge in basic hygienic activities. Most likely, it's because time spent in the shower is time not spent playing video games, drawing terrible comics, or stalking young ladies. If he showered regularly, his -45% chance of finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] would erupt all the way up to 0%.

In the [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]], neither of them recall Chris emitting any particular stench, implying that this is a problem that started after Chris stopped regularly going outside. However, according to someone who contacted Wes Iseli, Chris was already odorous around the time he attended PVCC. This suggests that Chris would shower for his evenings at the GAMe PLACe but not for school.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. Mimms and Lucas recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at the GAMe PLACe, and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he keeps a bottle on hand at all times.

{{clear}}

==Dental health==
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|right|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's [[honest content]]!]]
Chris's fondness for baring his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, expensive dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell, in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is the result of large consumption of carbonated drinks, poor dental hygiene, and refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]]. It's possible that he wont even go see a professional after all the no doubt, massive and extensive testing done by a doctor in the inevitable trip to the hospital brought by a ambulance (assuming he hasn't ballooned so much he still fits.) warning him that he ''will'' die very soon if he doesn't do massive cleaning and surgery for his teeth alone since teeth health has been known to spread to other parts of the body.
{{clear}}

==Mental health==
[[Image:THAT ONE'S ON THE HOUSE.gif|right]]
[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto). Chris is so very, very screwed up that it's impossible to tell if he's really mentally ill or just that much of a waste of space.

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most, even more than his autism, is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him such a frustrating failure of a human being—he refuses to advance mentally beyond the mind of a 10-year-old with some ''Playboy'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics.

His social awkwardness, narcissism, and several other unwanted traits trace back to his inept parents, who spoil him and tell him life will be all sugar and rainbows. It is quite possible that Chris doesn't feel like his life has truly begun, that he is still in the "pre-adult" years—this could be related to Chris still being a [[virgin]], and a possible belief, subconscious or otherwise, that he isn't able to truly be an adult until he has sex. Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world, as well as basic feelings such as empathy, sympathy and humility. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internets), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[dildo]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always tell him how "handsome" he was. Clearly she needs to seek professional help too. Or she was just telling him that because, well, that's what mothers do.

* He has an inability to remember faces. For example, during the Blanca incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[Billy Mays]] would have looked the same if Billy shaved off his beard. In high school, he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8Page24.jpg Sonichu 7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Many people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However…]]

==Sexual health==
In [[Jackie e-mails|correspondence]] with Jackie, Chris revealed he was checked for STDs.

'''SPOILER ALERT:''' He doesn't have any for [[virgin with rage|obvious reasons]].

Bent at a horrifying 45 degree angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly Peyronie's disease), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably, thankfully, never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, more important things on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|the taxpayers']]) money.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in [[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this photo]] of a young Chris, his right eye is green. He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a 3-year old girl on helium all the way to Gilbert Gottfried. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[Aspergers Syndrome]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch, and accent. It can probably work backwards too, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice. In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal, except for the occasional times where he recalls Conker of ''Conker's Bad Fur Day''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact he has little to no human interaction, which such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're in the spectrum of Autistic. With enough isolation, this will most likely become permanent for the rest of his life. His whole good, 10 years if he's '''''lucky''''', life.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Obesity]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and health

2010-07-23T14:15:12Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Dental health */

{{quote|Eat less cow meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and Fruit are a must; Walking or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some [[Guitar Hero]] on [[Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|Chris' advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag_2</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|Chris in a few years.]]
[[Chris]], as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine could plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], lack of exercise, poor nutrition, refusal to take a shower, and the grave disrepair/uncleanliness of his surroundings, he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life threatening medical problems such as cancer, heart disease or diabetes.

==Nutrition==
{{main|Obesity}}
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|left|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of this word]]
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily.]]
Chris is a known fast food lover, eating either [[McDonald's]] or Burger King (usually with his [[Bob Chandler|father]]) at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to 4 times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring caloric intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. On the rare occasion that Barbara does cook, it usually involves some cheap and easy-to-make food that often is not healthy.{{cite}} Many, many times, has Chris been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water, and that he drinks a lot of [[CWC Cola|carbonated drinks]] and [[semen|energy drinks]] (which have been proven to increase erratic behavior). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:

* Breakfast: Usually nothing because he usually sleeps from 6 am to noon, but on the rare occasion he does eat McDonald's, or some other fast food restaurant with breakfast options.
* Lunch: Something quick at home, or fast food, either alone or with his father.
* Dinner: Eat out with family or poorly cooked meal by Barbara (although with her deteriorating health, her poorly cooked meals may just become replaced by more fast food) or fast food.

In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[Dirty crapped briefs|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|ramming stuff in his shit tube]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_incontinence#Constipation</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no vegetables or fruit is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.

In short, Chris is a fatty, he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.

It seems that his diet has finally caught up with him, as it was revealed in the [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father that Chris's doctor has prescribed him [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atorvastatin Lipitor] for his high cholesterol. Chris claims that he stopped taking the drug in the fall of 2009, but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the conversation) is uncertain.

===Places where Chris likes to eat===
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonalds]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]
* [[Chick-fil-A]]

==Exercise==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is Strong and Powerful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

Chris has probably never had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[video games]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight left his skin a frightening white that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room while making videos. One might say that Chris is actually strong from having a lot of weight; however, in normal people, this happens because the muscles must build up in order to be capable of moving a large weight. Since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of blubber, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise. Needless to say Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to [[I AM STRONG|flexing]] and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting an office chair and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could defeat both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should it to come to blows, and as such has challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is, he's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWCFighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to get his wish and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the Father Call and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog five miles a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take six breaks to catch his breath, whereas with a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.
{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}
[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|Did you bathe? *SPOILER* No]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris marinates in his own filth.]]

Chris's hygiene is perhaps his worst quality. Many times has Chris regarded [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower. According to [[Emily]], he smelled of "rotten watermelons;" [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said body odor masked with gallons of Axe.

Because of the lack of showers and the decrepit state of his home, the kitchen and bath tiles are covered with a disgusting black and brown mold. Curiously, he endorses Axe Shower Gel. Considering that he refuses to take showers and is a sucker for Axe products, one wonders what he even bothers using it for.

Chris compounds this problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes. Close perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for as many as three or four days at a stretch. Fortunately, for his wardrobe at least, Chris sleeps in the nude, except for socks.{{cite}} There's something to think about.

Unless being immersed in his surroundings for so long has destroyed his ability to note his foul vapors, it's a marvel that Chris refuses to indulge in basic hygienic activities. Most likely, it's because time spent in the shower is time not spent playing video games, drawing terrible comics, or stalking young ladies. If he showered regularly, his -45% chance of finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] would erupt all the way up to 0%.

In the [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]], neither of them recall Chris emitting any particular stench, implying that this is a problem that started after Chris stopped regularly going outside. However, according to someone who contacted Wes Iseli, Chris was already odorous around the time he attended PVCC. This suggests that Chris would shower for his evenings at the GAMe PLACe but not for school.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. Mimms and Lucas recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at the GAMe PLACe, and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he keeps a bottle on hand at all times.

{{clear}}

==Dental health==
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|right|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's [[honest content]]!]]
Chris's fondness for baring his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, expensive dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell, in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is the result of large consumption of carbonated drinks, poor dental hygiene, and refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]]. It's possible that he wont even go see a professional after all the no doubt, massive and extensive testing done by a doctor in the inevitable trip to the hospital brought by a ambulance (assuming he hasn't ballooned so much he still fits.) warning him that he ''will'' die very soon if he doesn't do massive cleaning and surgery for his teeth alone since teeth health has been known to spread to other parts of the body.
{{clear}}

==Mental health==
[[Image:THAT ONE'S ON THE HOUSE.gif|right]]
[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto). Chris is so very, very screwed up that it's impossible to tell if he's really mentally ill or just that much of a waste of space.

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most, even more than his autism, is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him such a frustrating failure of a human being—he refuses to advance mentally beyond the mind of a 10-year-old with some ''Playboy'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics.

His social awkwardness, narcissism, and several other unwanted traits trace back to his inept parents, who spoil him and tell him life will be all sugar and rainbows. It is quite possible that Chris doesn't feel like his life has truly begun, that he is still in the "pre-adult" years—this could be related to Chris still being a [[virgin]], and a possible belief, subconscious or otherwise, that he isn't able to truly be an adult until he has sex. Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world, as well as basic feelings such as empathy, sympathy and humility. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internets), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[dildo]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always tell him how "handsome" he was. Clearly she needs to seek professional help too. Or she was just telling him that because, well, that's what mothers do.

* He has an inability to remember faces. For example, during the Blanca incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[Billy Mays]] would have looked the same if Billy shaved off his beard. In high school, he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8Page24.jpg Sonichu 7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Many people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However…]]

==Sexual health==
In [[Jackie e-mails|correspondence]] with Jackie, Chris revealed he was checked for STDs.

'''SPOILER ALERT:''' He doesn't have any for [[virgin with rage|obvious reasons]].

Bent at a horrifying 45 degree angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly Peyronie's disease), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably, thankfully, never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, more important things on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|the taxpayers']]) money.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in [[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this photo]] of a young Chris, his right eye is green. He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a 3-year old girl on helium all the way to Gilbert Gottfried. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[Aspergers Syndrome]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch, and accent. It can probably work backwards too, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice. In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal, except for the occasional times where he recalls Conker of ''Conker's Bad Fur Day''.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Obesity]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Barbara Chandler

2010-07-23T04:37:58Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Pampering of Chris */

{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]}}

{{quote|I don't need no back talk from someone on the Internet.|Barbara, [[Mumble 2]]}}

{{quote|I ain't got no black ass! You get your gutter ass down in the gutter and shut up!|Barbara, during a [[Prank_calls|prank call]]}}

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|300px|Barbara holding [[Desi Chandler|Desi]]; ignorant of the book to her left.]]

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the wife of [[Bob Chandler]] and terrible mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Appearance==
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, has ballooned out in recent years. Due to her [[Obesity|massive size]], she is affectionately referred to as '''Snorlax''' by [[trolls]]. Barb's size is likely one of the reasons she sleeps a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skips [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref> Barb has no eyebrows in the first picture on this article for some strange reason.

==Cole and his possible fathers==

[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|left|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Cole in Richmond near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to [[Cole]] in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash. She insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she was married, but records show that she actually married to Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. To further fuel Cole's later rage, Yeatts visited them as a "friend" when Cole was a child.

During Cole's childhood, Barbara abused Cole along with her then-partner Jerry.<ref name="email07-03-06p1">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 1]]</ref> Then came Bob, who made Cole rage even harder with his mean-spirited Republicanism. Based on experiences with all these men, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The translation would be "She likes to date guys who curse a lot, and obsesses over them". The relevancy of her partners' vernacular is a little puzzling. He's probably just being sesquipedalian. What he was probably trying to say: "She rolls with scrubs".

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years.<ref name="email07-03-06p1" />
{{-}}

==Marriage with Bob==

[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker. Too bad physical appearance is genetic.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara has not had sex with Bob for at least two decades. They have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

Instead of accepting that their marriage isn't what it used to be, that they have different goals for their son in life and move on like any other healthy human being, she is either too lazy, poor, and/or unwilling to explain to Chris the intricacies of a divorce and its effect on a family dynamic, thereby putting herself in the inescapable rut she is in today.
{{-}}

==Pampering of Chris==

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his Oedipus complex ([[Mumble 10]])}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

According to Cole, Barbara and Bob left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]].<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> As a result, Chris believes he is so irresistible to women that [[PandaHalo]] would not stop kissing him once she met him.{{cite}}

Barbara was Chris's date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].

She is extremely paranoid of Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and go to prison. Given some of the violent state of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not to far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]].

While having a special needs child is a major [[stress|stressor]] in any marriage, rather than getting genetic counseling and family therapy to cope with raising an autistic child, they've gone the old fashioned route of expecting little to nothing of Chris and treating him as an imbecile, with a modern "victim complex" spin, his entire life. This would have been understandable in the days before psychology - like when Bob was growing up - but nowadays it's known that even sufferers of Down syndrome can lead healthy and fulfilling independent lives if they receive supportive parenting and appropriate professional help.

==Recent health problems==

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.{{cite}} Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans of Sonichu]] have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref>[[9 October 2009]]</ref>

==In the comics==
Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips" in ''[[Sonichu 0]]''.
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|250px|Christian gets to live out his fantasy of being an adequate son.]]

==Audio appearances==

* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]
* 4 [[February 2009]]: In [[Mumble 2]], Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]], Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[November 2009]]: Toward the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"

==Video appearances==

Barbara has only appeared once briefly on video to date, in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Talk:CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters

2010-07-23T04:12:55Z

SerenityMoonstone:

His "song" is enough to scare off any woman. If a woman wasn't already scared by a fat autistic man child, then a horny fat autistic man child should do the trick. Also, does anyone know what happened between Chrissy and Ivy? I haven't heard much about it.. --[[User:Wild-Sonichu|Wild Sonichu]] 01:12, 21 May 2009 (CEST)

* She returned to the mothership. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 02:29, 21 May 2009 (CEST)

This video's kind of old now but it still boggles my mind how he wants the ladies to wander around Virgina until they find him, and then tells them to "BE LUCKY", as if he has any right to be picky. Just had to get that off my chest... --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 10:35, 9 July 2009 (CEST)

* Apparently dropping that soon since he does do phone calls and e-mails. Thus how events such as Kacey come into play. This is no doubt continuing with Chris's ego assuming a woman actually WANTS HIM! And a woman would have to do a lot to get him. Although I find it more hilarious that he says he laughs at us. 1) Lie. 2)We laugh at him just for saying that. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerneityMoonstone]] 12:12 AM, 23 July 2010 Eastern Standard Time.

Talk:Chris and anger

2010-07-23T00:14:58Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* To do */

==To do==
This article idea was brought up on [[cwc]] and for some reason, the idea of editing this wiki intimidates people. Seriously, we don't bite here. Anyways, the idea is to document how Chris has anger control problems, so mention stuff like how he's a virgin with rage, how he had to do anger management, the stuff with Megan about how he drew that picture to curb his anger, how he masturbates to prevent from going into hormonal rage, and so forth. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:45, 12 June 2009 (CEST)

He expresses anger the same way a six year old would; Infantile threats and growling at cameras that won't stand up and give him a beating. [[User:Guise|Guise]] 14:57, 12 June 2009 (CEST)

I think people are finding it hard to work out how to get the article going. I seen the thread on /cwc/ and everyone's shy of editing it like you say because no one knows where to start. {{unsigned|JamesYeaman}} (faggot didn't sign post)

Apologies, I'm new here, I added two new sections, "Why Chris has anger" and "Examples of Chris's anger." If you don't like either delete them. Amidoingitrite now? --[[User:JamesYeaman|JamesYeaman]] 13:45, 13 June 2009 (GMT)

First time Wiki editor, long time lurker. Cleaned up the text a bit and added some new parts and references. --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 16:35, 15 June 2009 (CEST)

It's starting to look quite alright. Keep up the good work people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:22, 15 June 2009 (CEST)

Embedded the video and gave Clyde his own heading. He deserved as much :( Spiced up the text a bit and cleared spelling errors. --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 20:06, 16 June 2009 (CEST)

Should we add something about the Game Place on here? Like how he always raged at the kids who beat him at Pok'emon? Just a suggestion.
----[[User:BabyGotBack|BabyGotBack]] 18:30, 3 December 2009 (CEST)

==Good Idea?==
Half of me wants to suggest places where Chris MIGHT be willing to go just to see what happens. For instance in the case of a Gaming Convention, I have a feeling one of five things will happen. Most of which dealing with his rage, already proven in his previous gaming experiences. (It even looks like he leveled down the Soul Caliber representations of people so he'd always very easily win.)
1) He will get arrested for assaulting or harassing any and all adult females there.
2) He will spend all his time trying to play Pokemon, Soul Caliber, Guitar Hero, etc, and throughout a fit every-time he loses to someone and is permanently banned. Possibly again arrested.
3) He will try something new such as Dungeons & Dragons and at some point effectively cause his entire group to "murder" the alternate him and rage ensues.
4) He will periodically cheat and effectivly get kicked out or banned. Most likely resulting in rage ensuing.
5) He will do something else to get him, kicked out, banned, or otherwise enaliated from groups. Most likely his racism and prejudices. Again, rage ensuing. ----[[User:SerenityMoonstone|Serenity Moonstone]] 20:12, 22 July 2010 Eastern Standard Time.

File talk:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG

2010-07-22T12:20:04Z

SerenityMoonstone: Created page with 'Dead Set Eyes: Is is just me, or in this photo, it is clear that he is not looking at the camera but setting his sights on the girls sitting across from him? -- [[User:SerenityM…'

Dead Set Eyes:

Is is just me, or in this photo, it is clear that he is not looking at the camera but setting his sights on the girls sitting across from him? -- [[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 8:19 July 22, 2010 Eastern Standard Time.

Talk:Sign Destruction Video

2010-07-21T16:27:13Z

SerenityMoonstone: /* Death Threats */

==Death Threats==

I don't think Vivian did anything illegal towards chris, so couldn't she warn the police about chris? --[[User:Spookycupcakes|Spookycupcakes]] 17:07, 6 September 2009 (CEST)

Yes, she could. But where's the fun in that? He'd get put in jail and we'd have no manchild to troll.
--[[User:Larrykoopa13|Larrykoopa13]] 10:57, 6 September 2009 (CST)
:* we could send him letters to his parents that won't be intercepted anymore, and he'll also be raped by a bunch of niggos. --[[User:Spookycupcakes|Spookycupcakes]] 21:41, 6 September 2009 (CEST)

I think if Vivian went to the police with this, they'd tell her "chris is retarded", and send her off. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 18:39, 6 September 2009 (CEST)

Yeh. For all the noise he makes, I don't think anyone considers him genuinely dangerous. My fat neutered tomcat could probably take him in a stand-up fight. -- [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:49, 6 September 2009 (Eastern time)

Actually, what scares me about it is that Chris has clearly shown a lack of understanding, first of all that this is all very illegal, second of all has tard rage to the max. The only argument that he wouldn't is that he's too lazy to go do anything, and if they went to him, he'd probably just whimper and either sulk away or get beaten up by anyone protective enough in Vivian's family assuming he showed any signs that could be even the slight possibility of being misinterpreted as a threat, because given the video, there would be clear evidence why they think he would. But because he has little remorse or understanding that this will 100% get him into jail, or at the very least a mental institution where he so desperately belongs, and only cares about his own selfishness, he'd probably at least try. Though again, most likely get beaten up himself. -- [[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 12:25, 21 July 2010 (Eastern Time)

==The Fangs==
If you notice at his giant GRAWRRRGGGHHH part, you can see the back of his fangs and it's filled with cavities. While it may be okay for someone to have maybe one cavity, Chris seems to have so many that there should be a section in Chris and Health for his dental hygiene, imo. --[[User:Wild-Sonichu|Wild Sonichu]] 00:02, 7 September 2009 (CEST)
*I'm asking someone in touch with Chris to confirm if Chris has had fillings. There's a possibility that Chris does a really shitty job at brushing his teeth (though they look like HUGE fillings). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:11, 7 September 2009 (CEST)
*We know chris has had an unhealthy diet all his life, is probably too lazy to brush his teeth, and has parents who probably never gave a fuck if he did it or not. So, well, you know... [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 01:32, 7 September 2009 (CEST)
*Does anyone have a good pic of his fucked-up teeth to upload? I mean Xenu H. Johnson, those things are worse than an Englishman's. [[User:Jerkop421|Jerkop421]]

==Clown Doll==
Clown doll should have an article, basically it's in every rage video.
[[User:SD70ACe|SD70ACe]] 11:21, 7 September 2009 (CEST)
:*I don't think it's such a huge part that it deserves it's own article. A sub-section of [[Chris and anger]] should be sufficient. [[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 16:08, 7 September 2009 (CEST)
::*I was thinking of an article about it at first but LizardPie has a better idea. Good thinking. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:17, 7 September 2009 (CEST)
::* In how many videos is it? I'd say that if it's in three or more, it may deserve it's own article. Think about it... :3 [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 17:32, 7 September 2009 (CEST)
:::* I remember it being in [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]], but I'm not sure if it has any more appearances other than that and this video. I think it deserves its own article though, or at least a mention somewhere. --[[User:Lime|Lime]] ([[User_talk:Lime|Scold?]] | [[Special:Contributions/Lime|Undo?]]) 04:31, 8 September 2009 (CEST)