CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Facebook

2013-03-01T19:57:32Z

SeventhBase: /* Recent topics */ new section

==To Do==
*archive the messages on a separate page ([[Facebook messages]] works)
*maybe make a separate page to mirror Chris's Facebook account (to clarify, his Facebook page as it appeared before it was hacked - --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:20, 2 June 2009 (CEST))
*include his notes (maybe a separate page for that too, actually)

As for this page, maybe just outline the extent Chris used Facebook, highlight some of the stuff with it, etc. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:09, 1 June 2009 (CEST)

To put it bluntly; this page needs more words. Some of the messages are very funny when juxtaposed. He would rather go out with a jailbait 17 year old "party girl" (read:slut) than a empathetic single mom. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 23:44, 1 June 2009 (CEST)
* A general commentary for the current themes that pop up in Chris's [[Facebook messages]] and in his Facebook page and notes are more warranted than commentary for each and every individual e-mail.

I know that the Miyamoto Saga e-mails have a commentary of it but most of it is from Clyde (RIP) who provides a commentary on what he was saying as he lost the original sent e-mails from when he was Miyamoto.

But really, I think just a general commentary is needed and that Chris's messages are far more amusing and should speak for themselves. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:55, 2 June 2009 (CEST)

Whatever you say, hoss. Mind was a little skewed due to rage.

What to do STILL - Go through his statuses. How lonesome is this fuck going to be? evenmore.zip [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:59, 19 September 2010 (PDT)

==Collapsible gallery==

Oh, and can we make the gallery collapsible? I know standard wiki formatting has the gallery at the bottom, but, like you said, they speak for themselves, so a general commentary would be more aesthetically pleasing below it. Gives the reader space to grasp the fucktardedness before adding our POV. Just a suggestion.--[[User:Jump|Jump]] 04:51, 3 June 2009 (CEST)

*A collapsible gallery would be great, but can you make one? God help us that none of us can't edit unless it's basic shit like making templates (read: copy and pasting stuff from Wikipedia templates, lol), editing pages, etc. Seriously, we could use collapsible galleries in a lot of pages but no one has gotten around to it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:50, 3 June 2009 (CEST)

* Oh, damn, I assumed you were a senior wikifag. I'll see what I can do, it can't be too difficult, right? --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 03:17, 4 June 2009 (CEST)

* I am a wikifag. See [[Template:Collapsible]]. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 03:31, 5 June 2009 (CEST)

==Has Chris regained use of this profile, or is it still under troll control?==
I was under the impression he got it back, but it seems not long ago he posted a status that was pretty clearly a troll. I'm mostly an idiot so there's a good chance this was obvious somewhere long ago, but the article doesn't really address what happened to the profile after trolls hijacked it. Is that something that could be included? --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 10:28, 2 October 2010 (PDT)

== He's still using Facebook ==

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Christian-Weston-Chandler/167832525915

Might wanna update that link.

*LOOKS LEGI- Oh wait. NO IT FUCKING DOESN'T. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 19:53, 27 January 2011 (PST)
Gotta go with Freecell on this one...There is no way in hell this is Chris's facebook...though the going to the bar and bring his DS is something Chris has done before... --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:46, 27 January 2011 (PST)

*What about [http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000426003596 this one?] --[[User:Morbid Duck|Morbid Duck]] 18:43, 22 April 2011 (PDT)
# "This is my real facebook. I had to make a new one due to all these trolls HARASSING ME AND HACKING MY ACCOUNT"
# Uses an old picture everyone has
# "Proud too say I'm still a virgin :)" group
# Talking about Skyrim without a computer
Not Chris. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 07:17, 23 April 2011 (PDT)

*This just appeared on my "you might know this person" sidebar on Facebook. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 [[User:frozenblwf|Frozenblwf]]

*That one seems pretty legit, Frozenblwf. A pic no one has seen before and the profile is private (so obviously not trying to grab everyone's attention). Good find! --[[User:Elliebytes|Elliebytes]] 16:48, 5 July 2011 (PDT)

*Also, note he is wearing ear rings in both ears. Which means they are recent due to him getting his ears pierced. My money is on this being legit. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:07, 6 July 2011 (PDT)CFA

*Looks like the page has been deleted. [[User:Barachulove|Barachulove]] 03:53, 7 July 2011 (PDT)

*One of the Bobs on facebook is friends with this account, but I'm pretty sure it's not him because the photo is too old. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1801600742 [[User:LAG4U|LAG4U]] 03:15, 13 July 2011 (PDT)

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 will take you to Chris's facebook profile that uses his typical "chrischansonichu@aol.com" email address. This is a profile picture we've never seen (or at least I don't think we have)*NOTE: It says it was added THIS monday, the 23 of January 2012, so yes, he's still using facebook. It will need a screen cap added. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 08:42, 25 January 2012 (PST)
*There's also a note he's published about what he wants in a girl...it's pretty hilariously chris:
**Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT
-Caring, Sweet, Honest
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better
-NOT A Smoker
-Social Drinker or non-alcoholic
-Upfront
-No STDs
-Carefree/Light-Hearted
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy)
-Takative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs)
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches
-Brunette or Blonde hair
-B-Cup size minimum
-Clean
-Casual
-Not Crazy or Abusive
-Make-Up Optional
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
--[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 08:46, 25 January 2012 (PST)
: Doesn't look like Tineye or Google Reverse Image Search are turning up anything, either. Guess it is a new picture. I used to know how to pull someone's full profile picture, but I don't remember anymore. I'll see if I can find it. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 08:47, 25 January 2012 (PST)
::I was so intent on dicking around that I didn't realise that his full profile picture is readily available. Never mind. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 09:04, 25 January 2012 (PST)
: Oh my atheist god, he just doesn't get it. While the picture is arguably an improvement over the old ones, this list is... just... just... it has the Chris-essence condensed and distilled in it. It creeps me out. - [[User:LucidFox|LucidFox]] 09:05, 25 January 2012 (PST)

== Dead link ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://www.facebook.com/people/Christian_Weston_Chandler/579729310
** In [[Facebook]] on 2011-09-20 22:38:31, 404 Not Found
** In [[Facebook]] on 2011-09-28 08:04:22, 404 Not Found

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 01:04, 28 September 2011 (PDT)

== Closed/Privatized ==

I can no longer find his account under chrischansonichu@aol.com; he has either closed it or listed it to private. He had a 'facebook friend' named Kim Wilson who is still listed though. Should it be mentioned in the article that as of Valentines day Chris no longer had a visible facebook page? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 09:26, 15 February 2012 (PST)

==Recent leaks==

As stated previously by the February 2012 page, some screencaps of Chris Facebook wall have been leaked, can we put it on the article or is it too early (a risk of Chris seeing them and leave the internet)--
ADDENDUM : The file name are Chfb1.png to Chfb4.png (uploaded by a user named Westbound)
[[User:René Duprée|René Duprée]] 13:02, 17 February 2012 (PST)

I doubt anyone would mind you adding them as long as they don't make it on the update right away. [[User:Westbound|Westbound]] 08:53, 23 February 2012 (PST)

== Something Fishy ==

All of the recent posts on FB seem odd
The writing seems forced and the content seems to perfect.

Im wondering if this is the act of trolls. Especially the "going back to fashion square with my sign" posts. it just seems like the work of a troll or Chris trying to be a troll. In light of the severity of the court cases and the fact that christian was on a FB hiatus that was possibly due to his lawyers direction, i am in severe doubt as to the genuineness of the recent posts. I understand that came from the TRUE and HONEST CWC account but it just seems... fishy... [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 10:26, 27 April 2012 (PDT)
*Canine has confirmed it. Cogs has confirmed it. Anna is friends with the account, and we all know that Anna and the inner circle don't agree with each other. There is no reason to doubt that this account belongs to Chris. Also, Chris's writing has always seemed forced and anything new about him is always unbelievable at first.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 11:34, 27 April 2012 (PDT)
** I don't think slimz was doubting that the account was Chris's, I think slimz was insinuating that these accounts are "100%" Chris. (Either by hack or by assistance) --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 21:05, 27 April 2012 (PDT)
* Chris is probably trying to goad da trollz into a mall confrontation, complete with curse-ye-ha-me-has. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 11:44, 27 April 2012 (PDT)
**I'll admit I think it's all a bit odd but then who knows what is going through Chris's mind at this stage. He seems to be viewing himself as a master troll given the screencaps of the forums and what not. Who knows what he wants. --[[User:Gytrash|Gytrash]] 07:22, 29 April 2012 (PDT)

== "Hynamin"? ==

I believe Chris may be referring to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamie_Hyneman MythBuster Jamie Hyneman] in his most recent note. I have done a quick search of tour information and could not yield anything recent in Virgina. If someone higher on the totem pole could check into this, I think it'd be worth their while. --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 20:21, 1 May 2012 (PDT)

*That or he fails at spelling "hymen." [[User:BeefCurtains|BeefCurtains]] 20:47, 2 May 2012 (PDT)
** I bet this is it http://www.vtnews.vt.edu/articles/2012/04/042512-vbi-usasef.html an excerpt
"""The USA Science & Engineering Festival will also feature leading science celebrities like Bill Nye of "Bill Nye the Science Guy." Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage of the "MythBusters" will appear live during the finale expo. Also scheduled to appear are Jeff Lieberman from Discovery Channel’s series "Time Warp" and Apollo Robbins, who is known as the "gentleman thief," from National Geographic’s "Brain Games.""""
[[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 09:03, 3 May 2012 (PDT)

Ah. Okay. Thanks for clarifying. [[User:BeefCurtains|BeefCurtains]] 22:26, 9 May 2012 (PDT)

== Backpage ==
Backpage is a site like Craigslist that still allows escort advertising. We could probably browse the backpage site for his area and find someone that was/looked half Cherokee (olive skin, dark hair etc) and call them to get the story (if its at all true) virginia.backpage.com i cant do it from work but maybe later today ill look into it [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 04:01, 2 May 2012 (PDT)
* Umm... I see where you're going with this, but I'm pretty sure that there's nary a hooker alive that would name-drop their johns to a stranger. [[User:The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here|The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here]] 16:08, 7 May 2012 (PDT)

== Regarding the recent posts ==
Chris-chan seems mighty proud of the fact that he mislead us over a small piece of information, and he stated outright that there are more events that he may or may not be outright lying about. Does this mean we should take all his recent Facebook posts with a grain of salt? Including his claims that he got laid? [[User:The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here|The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here]] 12:09, 3 May 2012 (PDT)
:That's exactly the reason I was arguing that it shouldn't be written in as fact on Da Update. I personally believe that he's telling the truth about it, but stating that anything is fact just because "Chris said so" would be a great way to ruin the integrity of our articles. After the last edit war over this, I'm not going to start another (since I'm busy with exams and don't have time for it), but if you change it, I won't stop you. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 01:47, 4 May 2012 (PDT)
:*AGREED ! ! ! this could be an attempt by chris to change the facts about him online, to troll the trolls or to just create a fantasy world where he is no longer a virgin. It sounds legit but considdering there is a "friend" who "Brought them together" this could be a manipulation tactic by someone else. (a troll using chris to troll the trolls... thats priceless) [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 04:41, 4 May 2012 (PDT)

== Iphone ==

According to the "recent activity" on Chris's facebook...he now can access facebook through his Iphone...which means of course, he has an Iphone. Now does this information need to be posted anywhere in particular? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 00:08, 8 May 2012 (PDT)
:It could also mean he's using an iPod touch or iPad. That just means he's using the app --[[User:Cthuluology|Cthuluology]] 13:37, 9 May 2012 (PDT)
doubt it but i changed it to reflect that. [[User:Blaziken|Blaziken]] 17:32, 9 May 2012 (PDT)

== Cole's Response to Chris ==

I noticed that CWC's half brother Cole finally got fed up with his shit and decided to throw his two cents in. Here are the caps below.

<center><gallery>
Image:FBCole1.PNG
Image:FBCole2.PNG
</gallery></center>

[[User:CHN|CHN]] 16:17, 23 June 2012 (PDT)

*Looks like a fake Facebook account to me. [[User:Samboy|Samboy]] 16:27, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
:* I looked on his wall and I saw one of his past posts that reads this.

:"I'm tired of getting harassed by people who want to know about my brother. Let me make this perfectly clear to you people: This Facebook is for friends and family only. No business, no film reviews, this is purely personal, so please respect my personal space and my brother's personal space.

:I don't even know how or why I was found, and if the harassment persists, I'm involving the police.

:Thank you."

:It might be him since if that was a fake account it would most likely be used to "troll" Chris and not ask people to leave him alone. I understand why Cole is asking for personal space to be left alone by trolls wanting to know more about Chris because he doesn't want to be known for having a brother who acts like a total retard. I also feel sorry for him who might have seen the "cakefarts" video too. Cole is about what in his 50s and he's already doing something in his life by doing film reviews and of course he has his own family and he seems to rather want to spend more time in his job and family than talking to trolls about Chris. So in my opinion that account is Cole since imposters after Chris want to decimate more information about Chris for the world to share. Cole himself doesn't want to be bothered by Internet strangers about his brother and seeing that he has a career and family I can see why. [[User:CHN|CHN]] 16:48, 23 June 2012 (PDT)

::Seems fake to me. "Cole" tells us that this facebook is for friends and family only... When he only has one friend in his account. Furthermore, if he was really not interested in being harassed by Christards he would have simply made his entire facebook private rather than have his posts visible to all. You could argue that Cole only says that he doesn't want to associated with Chris when in actuality he's trying to use him for attention, but I don't think this fits the pattern of behavior Cole has displayed in the past. From what I know he's trying to avoid being known as Chris's brother rather than using his sibling's infamy.

::If you ask me the main motivation of "Cole" is to fool Chris rather than anyone else. This troll hopes that by posing as Chris's half brother he might get a response from him. I predict he'll fail although Chris's gullibility never fails to surprise me. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 12:30, 24 June 2012 (PDT)

::Real or fake, he threatened to drag the cops into this if we kept bugging him, so let's assume real and spare ourselves the trouble. This one's a dead end anyway. [[User:The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here|The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here]] 23:16, 25 June 2012 (PDT)

::It's fake. His real account is just Cole Smithey. It's the one with the profile picture of him playing the guitar. [[User:Alopax|Alopax]] 01:13, 11 July 2012 (PDT)

== 20120623 Facebook Post ==
Does anyone have the text from the June 23rd post, or the means to access it? It's mentioned in the news, a portion of it was quoted on the main page, but it never got posted on this page. [[User:The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here|The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here]] 23:16, 25 June 2012 (PDT#
:[[:image:Train wreck.JPG|Here you go]], and here's a screencap of [[:image:Chris whines about ponies.JPG|Chris whining about some MLP shit]]. I'm not quite sure where we should put these two... I don't think these are notes since they aren't listed on Chris's facebook profile as such but what are they? Statuses? I don't really know how to properly label all this facebook stuff because I don't have an account #I had to borrow a friend's account in order to take those screencaps#... - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 05:46, 26 June 2012 #PDT)
:What about [[:image:June_26_Facebook_Message.png|this one]] from June 26? Yes, a bunch of my freiends' avatars were included in the screencap, and no, they didn't go away even when I edited it, so don't bring it up. [[User:Alopax|Alopax]] 01:35, 11 July 2012 (PDT)

== iPhone ==

Hey I thought id bring this up again because there was a screen shot with a strange carrier (http://www.ntelos.com/)and i wanted to know, are they a official carrier? is this relevant to any page here? and if you have to have a jailbrake/unlock could this lead to further info gathering? [[User:Blaziken|Blaziken]] 22:31, 1 August 2012 (PDT)
* I looked up NTelos' Wikipedia page and yes, they are an official carrier, though a minor one as it functions primarily in the Virginias and yes, they officially carry the iPhone, doing so at a ''reduced price''. Which means Chris' cheapness shines through again!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 22:42, 1 August 2012 (PDT)

== Facebook leak ==

Looks like there's a new Facebook leak someone got [http://789chan.org/bt/res/174.html here].

There's a lot there so get to it.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:15, 8 October 2012 (PDT)

==Chris is updating his Facebook==

Why isn't the FB page being updated? Chris is whining about the trolls again on his Facebook page and nobody is recording it. [[User:ElRodrigo|ElRodrigo]] 14:15, 22 February 2013 (PST)

== Recent topics ==

His recent response to Tara Strong's Twilightlicious. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 11:57, 1 March 2013 (PST)

<blockquote>
Christian Weston Chandler 
February 25 via mobile 
near Charlottesville, VA 
 
I fully understand the video, "Twilightlicious", is nearly a year old now, but in due reference to my recent post about "Smiley", I feel compelled to comment on Tara Strong's (voice actress of Twilight Sparkle) contribution towards the very objectionable contribution towards promoting Internet Troll(ing)s/Cyber-Bullies. And I wish my full post be forwarded to Miss Strong's full attention posthaste. 
 
While I do respect her voice acting in MLP:FIM, and she does a good job at portraying Twilight, I feel distraught in hearing her voice not only in promoting Trolling, but linking Twilight with the act. Even as to dare mark the now alicorn a Mascot for Trolling. As a lot of people are aware of me, I have been a grave victim of Trolling for over five long years. I have been emotionally and mentally scarred by the Trolls' deceptions, lies, blackmail, slander of my once good name, and so forth. Now I am like a black sheep of the world for the wrongest of reasons and people are afraid, and misunderstand worse, of me and of who I am and was. 
 
So, I address you, Miss Tara Strong. Did you have any knowledge or acknowledgement of what Trolling was and is, and how these horrible people have and continue to mentally and emotionally damage innocent people with their twisted, sick, demented an evil ways alongside Anonymous and 4Chan behind the veils of the Internet? How do you stand in the name of protecting innocent people from being emotionally and mentally damaged from such bullying? And what were you thinking at the time when you recorded your voice for "blackgryphon's" meme, which obviously depicted and promoted Trolling? 
 
If you had absolutely no regard to the consequences of the people, including myself, who were, are and have been the tragic victims of the bullying Trolls, then I see a lot of disappointed Twilight Sparkle fans and Bronies ready to boo at you. 
 
Please, prove my theory wrong, and make a statement directly from your person, and in the good name of Twilight Sparkle, Bubbles and all of the characters you've given your voice to. 
 
Sincerely, 
Christian W.Chandler 
Ruckersville, VA, USA. 
</blockquote>

Sonichu 10

2012-11-27T20:41:35Z

SeventhBase: /* Revised ending version */

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #10
| cover = Issue 10 Cover.jpg
| coverdate = 15 September [[2008]]
| finishedcomic = 25 [[February 2010]] ([[Book10Replacement|revised 30 October 2010]])
| pagecount = 97
| episodes = 21
| previous = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]
| next = [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]]
}}
'''''Sonichu'' #10''' is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. The final pages were scheduled to be uploaded on 24 [[February 2010]] ([[Christian Love Day|Chris's birthday]]), though he missed it by a few hours.

==Background==
===October 2008 Preview===
[[Image:Sonichu 10 release graph.png|thumb|right|Sonichu #10 release activity.]]
Throughout the early fall of [[2008]], the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls, posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the [[Medallion]].

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|9 October 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special ''Sonichu'' comic meant to be an excerpt from ''Sonichu'' #10. This was uploaded circa 14 October 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the medallion's safety and [[Blanca]]'s loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 [[January 2009]]. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the [[Time Void]] since the end of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], and not scheduled to return until after #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time ''Sonichu'' #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as the cover of #10.

===Conflict with Asperpedia===
During the production of ''Sonichu'' #10, Chris was also deeply embroiled in a feud with the forces behind the [[Asperpedia]]. More specifically, [[Evan]] was pressuring Chris to kill or otherwise remove [[Simonla Rosechu]] from the comics, since she was based on Evan's original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, [[Simonchu]] without his approval. Chris refused and actually retconned Simonla's entry on the [[CWCipedia]] to state that Simonla was his own original creation, and he had not based her on Simonchu. Shortly after these changes were made, [[9 February 2010|the CWCipedia went offline]], replaced by a notice from Evan's lawyers.

In order to recover the CWCipedia, Chris posted a two-page spread in which Chris apologizes for his trespasses against the Asperpedia team, and Simonla is killed by an exploding toilet. When he arrived at Simonla's death in the actual comic, however, he spread the events of Simonla's death over many pages, and introduced a new character: [[Sandy Rosechu]], her daughter with [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]]. Furthermore, the Asperpedia team are depicted as Simonla's murderers, and after a trial in a kangaroo court, are violently executed, with Sandy and Wild teaming up to maim and then murder Evan. Team Asperpedia was understandably upset with this development, and have since coerced Chris into the third of his seemingly endless rewrites of the end of ''Sonichu'' #10.

===Chris's Promise to Remove Himself From the Series===
As early as [[Sonichu Game Talk|28 August 2008]], Chris had acknowledged that the ''Sonichu'' series had become too focused on Chris rather than Sonichu and the others. He promised that once he returned from the [[Time Void]] that he would step down as Mayor of CWCville and appoint his sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] to take his place. Chris seemed earnest about this, and he even mentioned his plan in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto_Saga#Chris_Will_Be_There..._Someday|Shigeru Miyamoto]] in January 2009. At the end of [[Sonichu 8|#8]], Chris teased "Next Book I get out of he Time Void", leading [[fans]] to assume he was going to step down as mayor in #9. Instead, Chris's escape from the Time Void was tacked onto the very end of the story, so he deferred his promise of pulling himself out of the books to Issue #10, where he could settle things with his remaining enemies.

And yet, after nearly several dozen pages of Chris slaughtering his foes, when the time came for him to address the people of CWCville, he announced that he would '''continue''' to be the Mayor, while Crystal would merely serve in an advisory role. Whether Chris plans to actually live up to his promise of staying out of the comics remains to be seen. [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]] started out Chris-free, but it was abandoned well before the conclusion of #10, which ends with Chris murdering someone with his super powers, then declaring his birthday to be a national holiday.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==
{{Resources
| title = Christian Chandler in Director Amenities
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10 ''Episode 21''
| videobook =Sonichu_10_Official_Videobook#Episode_21{{!}}''Episode 21''
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic11P1.htm ''Episode 21''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJ77AMiIG7Q&feature=BFa&list=PL4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=58 ''Episode 21''}}
===Curing Da Homos===
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 9|the last issue]]. However, in this version Chris adds more dialogue to the scene. Magi-Chan tells Chris how much everyone missed him during the nine months or so he was missing, and Chris announces his intentions to revenge himself on his various enemies. He also tells Wild and Magi-Chan that he briefly wound up in the year 2015, where he encountered [[Lovely Weather]] while participating in a medical study to cure homosexuality. In 2015, Weather and Chris are married, so he took him home, believing the Chris of 2008 to be her husband. Having [[Kacey Call|tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self]], he then [[rape|fucked his future wife]] while his future self was at work.

By June of 2015, scientists have almost discovered the cure for [[homos|homosexuality]], but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals six years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. Chris is then vaccinated with the formula and is satisfied with the results. He grabs an additional two of the "cure" syringes, planning to use one to turn [[Reldnahc]] back into Naitsirhc, whose one completely random true love, [[Kel]], is worried sick about. The fate of the other syringe is never seen. He then entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse, restoring his virginity!).

But before sending him on his way, Chris uses Magi-Chan's telepathy to contact his allies to coordinate the rest of his master plan. He calls out to [[Allison Amber]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his [[PS3]], ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' and his plastic instruments and send him to the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building in Clarksville, Tennessee; he then tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him in Clarksville by 2:30; and finally, he tells [[Blake]], [[Punchy]], and Wild to meet him and Sonichu in Clarksville so they can perform in his [[Chris and reality|imaginary band]]. Magi-Chan departs for the future, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], sort of.

===Rage Against the Garbage 2: Electric Boogaloo===
[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|left|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]
Before heading to Clarksville, Chris makes a stop at the Sonichu Site Filing Facility, a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear. Much like the 4-cent Garbage Building, this appears to be a brick-and-mortar avatar for [[Sonichu.net]]. It's even "hosted" by Tripod. He enters to find his stuff safe and sound, until the [[Devil Trolls]] emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris defeats them with ease, then starts talking about video games and the ESRB rating system for no reason. With his precious [[shit|content]] safe, Chris uses his powers to teleport all of it into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building, erects a barrier around the building to ensure no living thing escapes, '''and then fucking blows it up!''' [[Chris and remorse|Chris then claims]] that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

With that task completed, Chris contacts a [[Gal-pal]] for help setting up what would become [[CWCipedia]]. Next, he uses his foreknowledge of Lovely Weather to find her in a bookstore and set up their first date. After that, he contacts the CWCville Board of Directors, a previously unseen group who may play some role in the governance of the city. Once he informs them of his plan to commit mass murder in another state, he resumes his journey to Clarksville to settle the score with 4-cent Garbage.

===Operation: Grand Theft Medal===
''Note: Pages 13 - 20 of Sonichu #10 were drawn in October 2008 as a "preview", long before the rest of this issue was completed.''

As [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] monitors him on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[HEXBox]].

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for [[Nintendo|Wii]] or Xbox360, as if these even existed.

Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]. Convinced these items will bring him victory, Chris waits patiently in front of the door, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place. Shouldn't Sonichu have beaten him there? He didn't have nearly as much dumb shit to do.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris puts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (already forgetting all about [[Lovely Weather]] from a few pages back). Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage.com building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl '''"Jimmy!!"''' Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

''This concludes the "preview" segment of the comic.''

=== Comic Chris banishes his sexual insecurity===
While waiting for the others, Chris meditates on a bench, unaware that Reldnahc Ha-Taque is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. At the last second, Chris senses the attack and blocks it. Chris declares his intention to defeat his dark counterpart once and for all, while Naitsirhc insists that he will turn Chris evil and [[homo|gay]]. The two of them battle it out in their sonichu forms (in a scene [[Chris and art#Traced images from the Sonichu Comic|heavily traced]] from a ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'' comic) until they hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..." He then rises up and stabs Reldnahc with the syringe, not in the heart, but straight in his [[Black Sonichu]] [[Medallion]]. The medallion shatters, and as Reldnahc transforms back into the totally straight Naitsirhc Giovanni, Chris says the completely non-homoerotic phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"'''

Chris teleports the unconscious Naitsirhc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, and he laments that he [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]] in his Reldnahc persona, but at least the evil homo is gone. Moments later, Son-Chu and [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|The Hedgehog Boys]] arrive. As they set up their ''Guitar Hero'' gear, Sonichu notices the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap in Chris's car. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, he snaps his fingers, turning into his real life self (that is, various photos of Chris used in place of drawings). Whatever effect this was supposed to have is undermined by the fact that Chris is wearing a different shirt in real life than he was in the comic. So he stops to explain that the correct shirt was in the laundry. Chris commands Son-Chu to transform into a soundstage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] to perform. That's right, they plan to defeat the trolls with the power... of ROCK.

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

===Fall of 4-cent_garbage.com===
Chris begins to play what the comic calls [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a set of badly written lyrics set to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent. Unlike the original song, which was about fucking, Chris's version complains about an eleven-year-old incarnation of a children's TV show. As Chris plays the instrumental part of the song, the 4-cent garbage Building begins to shake. Inside, Beel, [[Clyde Cash]], and [[Jack Thaddeus]] warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't withstand guitar licks of this magnitude, and they must escape before the whole place comes down around them. Jason agrees, but chooses to save only himself and [[Kathleen]]. As he readies for departure, he explains that he is STRAIGHT, and has decided to retire from trolling to settle down with Kathleen in a normal life. Beel also decided to save himself, leaving Clyde and Jack to die. With no way out, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true heroes as they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as the building collapses around them.

Outside, Chris and his band continue their relentless barrage of rock until the entire building is reduced to a pile of rubble. The narration then reports on the aftermath, including a massive estimated death toll for the employees. Chris has the gall to say that he and "the rest of us heroes" cleaned up the rubble and called ambulances to save the very people he attacked. Chris sheds a tear over the senseless destruction he himself had perpetrated minutes earlier, almost as if doing so would [[Chris and Remorse|justify]] the [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|needless murder]] of over 100 people who made fun of him. He then quickly changes the subject by comparing the dead trolls to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''.

===Christian Love Day===
[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]
At that moment, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|being Big Brother]]. He reports to Chris that testing on the Homo Vaccine in 2015 is a success and that he has delivered it to 2008, where it will be dispensed into the world's drinking water. Magi-Chan then predicts that by February 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be declared a holiday named [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]], in honor of the man whose blood and time travel powers made it all possible. Magi-Chan also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female, and she will fall in love with Magi-Chan.

Out of nowhere, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a fan of the comic series. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] in disguise, commenting on how easy it was to troll him. Yes, Chris did just depict himself making out with someone who has a penis, why do you ask?

Chris then pauses the story to make yet another rambling non-apology to his homosexual fanbase. Much like Sonichu's tantrum in [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Chris starts out with a very diplomatic tone, but then grows more defensive and confrontational, blaming the offensive nature of his comics on the readers' refusal to accept him and his characters as heterosexual. Chris begs his readers not to abandon him, but in spite of his apology, he made no effort to remove or redraw the content for which he was apologizing.

===Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan===
With gay people finally dealt with, Chris and Sonichu use the seven Sonichu Balls to transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, they communicate telepathically, and Chris orders Sonichu to [[RuleCWC]] while he heads back to CWCville. There, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. In RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, and she immediately showers Darkbind with gratitude for... Well, actually, he didn't do jack shit, but Sonichu's already married, so there you go.

===Mission in Minnesota===
[[Image:XboxCameForCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Putting a whole new meaning on the word "X'''box'''".]][[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|right|Chris could have picked ''Mass Effect 2'' when lusting after a dating game. Instead, he consciously chose ''this.'' Not entirely unforeseen!]]
Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan rendezvous over the home of [[Alec Benson Leary]]. After breaking in, Chris [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|inserts his finger]] into a USB port on Alec's computer (a HEXbox Pavillion), then concentrates and rips off ''[[Shadow the Hedgehog]]'' by placing himself inside the computer. Chris then deletes all files within the [[Asperpedia]] website, bans Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, and deletes their accounts for good measure. He then steals a "better dating simulator" (likely [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"]) with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though XBox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator. Just in case he hadn't done enough damage, Chris blows up the computer as well.

Meanwhile, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the [[Chris and art|bad art]] from the Asperchu series. As he investigates the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu discovers Asperchu outside in the yard, along with Alec's version of Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo. When they see Ultra Sonichu, Alec's Hedgehog Pokemon treat him like a god, and beg forgiveness from Chris for the awful things Alec has made them do in his comics. They tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's, forced them to become gay, and compelled them to drop their real names as they impersonated their counterparts in CWCville. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure their Asperger's and give them new clothes. Asperchu himself is dramatically altered, becoming a [[homos|muscle-bound]] Sonichu known as [[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch]]. In return for his help, Sonichu asks them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free.

When Chris comes outside to meet the others, they literally [[Chris and his ego|bows down before him]] and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God, [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|but he appreciates the gesture]]. Together, they all defeat Metal Asperchu, then [[death threats|physically assault]] Alec Benson Leary off-panel. Alec apparently had a group of Rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.

Chris pauses the story once again to address the audience. This time, he denounces "Asperchu" and its depiction of the cast of "Sonichu". Impatiently, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story. Even ''he'' is fed up with the constant interruptions.

===Return to CWCville===
Back in the Mayor's Office, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, the mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. [[Simonla]] specifically denounces [[Evan]], who retconned her as a female clone of [[Simonchu]] in his own comic. [[Allison Amber]] speaks poorly of Moon-Pals, but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest CWCville, and possibly the world, fall into total chaos and anarchy. For some reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.

Ultra Sonichu and the four [[Basement Rosechus]] arrive in one of CWCville's many [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|soup hotel]]s. Sonichu rambles on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated Rosechus just stare on despondently. After he drops them off, he runs into [[Inos]], a very high [[niggo]], obviously another satisfied customer of [[Yawning Squirtle]]. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. He has Magi-Chan summon [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|some cops]] to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for [[the Moon]].

With all that nonsense out of the way, Ultra Sonichu flies to the flagpole of a tall building, where he expends the last of his Ultra Sonichu power to free all [[Jerkops]] from [[Slaweel Ryam]]'s mind control. Collosal Chan confronts her in the [[PVCC]], now deserted since all of the Jerkops gone back to their old lives. Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast, how she tried to cause others the same misfortune. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to release Graduon. Chris takes the wand and smashes it onto the floor. Chris then complains about how he's never had any luck with trying to find someone himself and how he cursed the male population for it. He creates [[Things Chris has ripped off|electric versions of Kratos's blades]] before declaring that he will defeat Slaweel and never forgive her. The two start fighting and Chris naturally defeats her with ease. Because Chris is so paranoid about people getting the "wrong" impression about him, he clarifies that Mary is only paralyzed, and not outright killed.

===Christian Lies, Simonla Dies===
[[File:TEVDoesHisThingp.jpg|thumb|How it went down.]]
Following Mary's defeat, Chris holds a public assembly to update the city on recent developments. He announces Walsh's arrest and imprisonment, the emancipation of all Jerkops, and the legalization of homosexuality in CWCville. Gay marriage remains illegal, but seeing as how homosexuality is supposed to be eradicated a few months later, it doesn't seem to matter. Chris appoints his twin sister Crystal as a "social relations" assistant, and that he will continue to hold the office of mayor indefinitely. Chris also promises to make fewer appearances in future Sonichu comics.

During his speech, [[Simonla]] goes to the bathroom, leaving [[Wild]] to tend to their egg. At the same time, Magi-Chan notices [[Evan]] in the rafters of the Mall, trying to cut down a massive TV screen hanging over the audience. He quickly paralyzes Evan, then spots [[Simonchu]] skulking behind a potted plant in a black cloak. Magi-Chan accuses him of trying to murder his own sister (Simonla, according to Chris). But they are just a diversion, as a third conspirator, Alec Benson Leary, has finished planting a Toilet Exploding Voltorb in the women's restroom, which he detonates once Simonla sits down to piss.

Wild accompanies Simonla to the hospital, and she gives him her "lucky shark's tooth" (aka the drill pendant Chris stole from Evan's Simonchu design, which itself was taken from Simon the driller from ''Gurren Lagann'') in case she doesn't make it. Wild sits on their egg in the waiting room, until [[Bill the Scientist]] informs him that she died in surgery. Wild swears revenge, but Magi-Chan reminds him that the killers are already in custody. At that moment, Wild's egg hatches. Wild names his daughter [[Sandy]] and Magi-Chan, [[Autism|insensitive fuck that he is]], tells her point blank Evan killed her mother.

Wild assumes the burden of a single father, and within a week, Sandy evolves into a Rosechu, who just so happens to look almost exactly like Simonla.

===Trial of the Asperpedia Four===
[[File:FreeAsperpedia4.jpg|thumb|left|Public reaction to Chris's abortion of justice]]
Time then jumps ahead to the trial of ''CWCVille v. Alec, Sean, Evan and Mao.'' Presided by Judge Slack Lewis (based on comedian Lewis Black), he calls for prosecuting attorney [[Harvey Birdman|Marvey]] [[Pokemon|Blaziken]] to make the opening statements. Although the four are ostensibly on trial for the murder of Simonla, <s>Chris</s> Marvey makes sure to tack on a long list of charges related to the existence of the Asperpedia, such as plagiarism, mockery, [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22Don.27t_be_a_moof_or_aloof.22_.E2.80.94_Mature_content|gory pages]], and all that fucking swearing.

Sean, acting as defense lawyer, makes an opening statement while "super-high". All four enter a plea of not guilty and are summarily convicted based on the existence of their respective comics, the remote control for the deadly Voltorb, and Magi-Chan's mind-reading abilities. Sean offers a rock in their defense, because they rock. Nevertheless, the jury convicts the Asperpedia Four and Judge Lewis sentences them to be [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|executed]] by those they allegedly hurt.

[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Sandy's mental state.]]
First, Alec is strapped to a "Ten-Button Electric Chair". Each button is pressed by Chris or one of the hedgehogs, each one dwelling on how they were portrayed in Asperchu. Once all ten buttons are pressed, the chair electrocutes Alec, thus giving them all the satisfaction of killing him. For writing a parody comic.

Next, Evan is chained to a wall where Wild and Sandy can torture him as much as they please. Wild lets Sandy go first, and she takes his glasses as a trophy (nothing fucked up there). She then bores holes all over his body with her drill hands (including his [[Pickle|crotch]]), before she and Wild finish him off together.

Sean is hung by his wrists in a room where Bill the Scientist, Allison Amber, and [[Kel]] shoot guns at him at pointblank range until he dies.

Finally Chris '''[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD |breaks Mao]]''' with his psychic powers, twisting his legs at unnatural angles before exploding his heart, without any remorse or justification of why, even noting that ''"his amends have been made"'' for doing so. Recall that one of the charges against the Asperpedia Four was for "[[Chris and hypocrisy|portryals(sic) of death in horrifying, gorey(sic) detail]]".

===Apology to the Asperpedia Four===
Strangely, throughout the scenes depicting the Asperpedia Four's arrest and trial, Chris includes flashbacks to his speech from just before Simonla's death. In these panels, Chris makes apologies and admissions as demanded by [[Alec Benson Leary]] in their [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|phone conversations]]

Chris admits the following:
*Alec has a fanbase comparable to Chris's own.
*Evan may have given Chris permission to use Simonchu in his comics, but Evan later withdrew that permission.
*Simonla was never Chris's character to use, being a blatant copy of Simonchu.
*Chris attempted to cover up the truth about how Simonchu inspired Simonla by editing her CWCipedia page.

Chris then makes the following apologies:
*To Evan, for creating Simonla without his permission.
*To Alec, for calling him [[naive]] over the phone.
*To Mao, for [[Curseyehameha|cursing him]]
*To Alec, for depicting Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu breaking into Alec's home and using Asperchu characters in this very issue.
*To Alec again, for implying that he kept four Rosechus captive in his basement for sexual purposes.
*To the Sonichu [[fanbase]] for failing to update the CWCipedia regularly and writing disrespectful replies to fan mail in the [[Mailbag]].

Note that while Chris is conceding Alec's points in these panels, on the same pages he shows the Asperpedia Four being treated like base criminals. Most likely, this was Chris's way of fulfilling his agreement with Alec, but without actually giving him what he asked for.

===Conclusion===
Right after killing four people and involving a toddler in the execution, Chris goes on a rant about his egotistical holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and rips off Bill Pullman's speech in the movie "Independence Day".

The comic ends with a two-page dedication to the memory of [[PandaHalo]] including her original fanart and a page from her comic.

=="Extras"==

As a super [[Autism|special]] bonus for his readers sitting through the weeks long wait for updates, Chris uploaded "Marvey Blaziken, Attorney at Law" a picture featuring the blatant rip-off of...[[Harvey Birdman|you can guess exactly who.]] Demonstrating that he has learned absolutely nothing from [[Alec Benson Leary calls|his talks with Alec]], Chris essentially tells his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] to fuck off and let his "inspiration" come naturally, a process that can take [[Sonichu 8|months.]] Interestingly, and unsurprisingly, the page is just a recycled book page with added text.

True to his word ([[lies|for a change]]) Chris has proceeded to stop updating the comic while he waits for "inspiration" to happen.
{{clear}}

==Reaction==

===October 2008 Preview: Grand Theft Medal===
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been stolen, the trolls posing as [[Blanca]] responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

===February 2010 Preview: Simonla's Death===
On 13 February 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages that were slated to appear in Sonichu 10. In these pages, Chris admits that [[Asperchu]] is not as bad as it seems, and begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, [[Simonla]] asks [[Wild]] to hold her bags while she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. Simonla has just enough time to tearfully hand Wild her lucky shark's tooth before [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the Doctor]] tells Wild that she died. (In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not actually shown on page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on page.) Wild mourns for one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of her murderer, and Wild declares revenge.

The preview was the end result of an ongoing tug of war between Chris and Evan over the use of Simonla Rosechu. Evan had wanted Simonla pulled out of the comics ASAP, but Chris, being [[Ego|Chris]], refused. When Evan told Chris to kill Simonla, Chris refused, stating that it [[Chris and reality|would upset Wild Sonichu]]<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>. This war of words would culminate in Evan getting the CWCipedia shut down, forcing Chris to either swallow his pride or start hunting down a new web server. Chris, lazy fuck that he is, chose the former for the benefit of mankind.

On 25 February 2010, Chris revised those pages, revealing without a doubt that it was Evan, Sean, Mao and Alec who killed Simonla and viciously slaying the four of them. The Asperpedia Four responded by giving control of the CWCipedia ads back to [[Jack Thaddeus]], who proceeded immediately to renew his campaign to flood Chris's website with [[homo]] [[pickles]].

===Depiction of the Asperpedia Four===
As #10 took months to complete, Chris added content to respond to criticism of the parts he had finished. For example, in one of the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|phone calls]] with Alec Benson Leary, Alec took exception to the way Chris depicted him and his characters on pages 51-70. Chris would later apologize for this on pages 86 and 87.

Upon the completion of the comic, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Alec called Chris again]] to take issue with the gruesome executions of himself, Sean, Evan and Mao.

On 1 March 2010, Chris announced via his [[Twitter]] account that he would be re-revising the end of Sonichu 10 in order to make peace with Alec and company- probably in the hope that doing so will result in Jack removing his dreadfully pornographic ads. Ultimately, Chris abandoned the Cwcipedia altogether in May.

When [[Jackie]], a girl who had no knowledge of Asperchu or anything negative about Chris, saw the trial scene, Chris's godawful art style made her assume that Chris was '''executing children'''. She would eventually nag Chris about completing the new ending to #10, if only to keep his promise to Alec.

==Revised ending version==
On 30 October 2010, at Jackie's insistence, Chris uploaded [[Book10Replacement|a video]] in which he presented the revision to the ending that he promised to Alec 6 months earlier. Instead of being sentenced to death, the Asperpedia Four are sentenced to live in an Amish community for the rest of their lives, where they're brainwashed into becoming double entendre-spewing retards. Jason Kendrick Howell is revealed to have died in a car crash, and Kathleen Nicole Wallace is put in a maximum security prison for smoking pot.

However, Jackie asked Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 19]]</ref> to make a different kind of comic altogether, where Mayor Chris has a parade of forgiveness and understanding in CWCville, acknowledging Alec's helpful intentions. She made this request due to an earlier chat where Chris had said he's forgiven Alec, and she wanted this comic to show that Chris stands by his words. However, Chris failed to deliver the comic exactly as requested, and admitted to Jackie that this was due to his ongoing hatred of Alec's [[homos|homosexuality]], [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]] and [[JERKS|JERKness]], completely missing the point of the exercise, even when Jackie was very clear in explaining ''why'' she wanted the pages to be redone.

Chris later revised his plans<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 21]]</ref> for the remake: The Asperpedia Four would be found not guilty, Chris would give shoutouts to Cwcipedia admins, and then [[TrollBusters|Calvin and Dee^2]] would take the four into their custody for the parade. For the parade, they would be displayed on two floats: Mao and Evan would be on a float together, branded as "busted Cyber-Bullies/Trolls", while Alec and Sean would be "promoted as the next Dark Humor Comic Authors". So despite being found "not guilty", the parade seems more like a Roman triumph in Chris's honor, with his captured enemies included as an example of his glory. After all that, the Asperpedia Four would then go to the Amish commune of their own volition and start new lives there with their relatives.

Unsurprisingly, by the end of the Jackie Saga, this version had not surfaced, and still remains so to this day.

==Gallery==
<center>{{collapsible
|Episode 21 - Director's Amenities
|<gallery perrow="5">
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</gallery>}}</center>

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]
*[[Asperchu]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_1 Sonichu #10]
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10 Preview]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?bxbbbf1b042nwrb Download .rar of Sonichu #10]
 

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]
[[Category: Asperchu Saga]]

Sonichu Fan Promo

2012-11-27T20:26:33Z

SeventhBase:

[[File:T1984.PNG|thumb|the lines were wrong originally. At least I have set that record straight in my 9th Book."]]

{{quote|[[Niggos|No darkies]], [[jerkop]]!|[[Sonichu]] as Chris can only ever dream of}}

The '''Sonichu Fan Promos''' are a series of three short fan-made 3D animations about [[Sonichu]], made by '''timmys1984''' (frequently [[CWC-isms|mislabelled]] as "timmy1984"). The videos were published on 11-14 [[October 2008]]. They are notable as one of the few [[True and Loyal fanbase|fan]] works [[Chris]] has praised, though as he explains in the [[Videobooks]]:

{{quote|In the featured in the uhh... in the episode 20 will be redone version of timmy1984's Sonichu fan promos, which I thought were pretty good but rewording could have been... used greatly. Cause he used the wrong words.|Chris, [[Sonichu 9 Official Videobook]]}}

In an earlier IRC chat<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]] at 20:24</ref> Chris's primary complaint was Sonichu's use of --among other lines-- "No [[Darkies]], [[Jerkop]]!", which he argued is something Sonichu would not say. The [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] cover, which was published long before the pages started to appear, proudly advertised that it features "...[[retcon|corrected]] version of timmys1984's 'Sonichu Fan Promos', presented on [[YouTube]]". It took Chris over a year to actually advance the plot far enough to reference to these promos. Unsurprisingly, what eventually resulted sucked.

With the exception of the corrected version of the third clip, the videos are no longer available, making Chris's drawn adaptations the only evidence that they existed at all.
==First video==
{{Deletedvideo}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|_cErvFFYWdw}}</center>

===Transcript===
[[Image:I9pg72.JPG|thumb|right|Issue 9 Page 72.]]
[''Camera zooms in on a robed figure. The figure slowly turns to face the camera, revealing himself to be Sonichu'']

[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Cuse-ye-ha-me-'''HAAAA''']]!!

[''On the final syllable, Sonichu casts off the robe, leaps into the air, and is supercharged with lightning from the sky. Once completed, he lands in a kneeling position and grins at the camera.'']

No [[Niggos|darkies]], [[jerkop]]!

[''Dashes off-camera. Fades to black, the words "[[Sonichu.net]]" appear in the center of the screen.'']

===Chris's version===

On 27 [[October 2009]], Chris finally got around to "correcting" the excellent and well-made fan promos by converting them into concentrated fail. Aside from the change from fluid CG animation to horribly drawn, barely sequential art, Chris replaced all of Sonichu's lines from the first fan Promo. The omission of "no darkies, jerkop!" was expected, as Chris had expressed displeasure with the line earlier. The curse-ye-ha-me-ha was removed also, presumably because only [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] uses the attack in canon. Chris also adds a few lame lines about Sonichu saving Rosechu, largely just to shoehorn his other ripoff into the story of the comic.

==Second video==
{{Deletedvideo}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|DUm5fVyDSkc}}</center>
{{quote|I'm a '''HEDGEHOG''', you [[pedofork|Pedo'''FORK''']]|Sonichu, attempting to stay clear of [[Nintendo]] copyright claims}}
===Transcription===
[[Image:I9pg78.JPG|thumb|right|Issue 9 Page 78]]
[''The video begins with Sonichu racing down a dark city street, his body crackling with electricity. The camera overtakes him, and focuses on a giant robot, that stomps into the main road from a sidestreet. The sinister machine speaks mechanically.'']

'''Robot:''' Must destroy yellow mouse.

[''The robot then launches two missiles. The camera centers once again on Sonichu, who bravely rushes onward towards his massive mechanical opponent.'']

'''Sonichu:''' I'm a hedgehog, you [[pedofork]]!

[''Sonichu then effortlessly dodges the two missiles, and continues towards his wicked enemy. The screen fades to black, and the words "Sonichu.net" appear once again.'']

===Chris's version===
Almost a full month went by before Chris finally posted his version of the second promo on 15 [[November 2009]]. Compared to his earlier effort, this issue changed much less from the original video, making it more of a complete ripoff then an actual adaptation. Sonichu's mechanical foe was turned into one of Chris's [[Transformers|Decepticon]] knockoffs, and the robot apparently shot a bunch of bullets instead of the two missiles. Chris also changed "pedofork" to "bag of bolts".

==Third video==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|WDzrxZKR5rs}}</center>
{{quote|Help me Sonichu! Help!|The [[Rosechu]] that sadly, never was}}

Note that there are actually two versions of this video; the original version is identical to this one, except that Sonichu's tail is missing. This was quickly corrected the same day to prevent an epic [[heart level]] shatter.
===Transcription===
[[Image:I9pg79.JPG|thumb|right|Issue 9 Page 79]]
[''Sonichu reaches the villainous automaton from the prior video, and quickly races up his steel body, stopping on its shoulders.'']

'''Sonichu:''' Oh! So you wanna play [[Kick the Autistic]], eh?

[''Sonichu focuses his incredible electrical powers into his hands, giving him the strength he needs to rip the machine's head out of its socket.'']

'''Sonichu:''' Ahhhh!

[''Satisfied with a job well done, Sonichu leaps skyward. The robot remains standing for a moment, before a massive explosion erupts from its damaged neck. Defeated, the robot's headless body crashes to the ground. Its head lands nearby a moment later.'']

'''Robot:''' [[Ghostbusters|OOOWWWWWW!!!! MY AXELS!!!!!]].

[''Sonichu, smiling gleefully at his victory, walks onscreen from the left'']

'''Sonichu:''' Heh heh! [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|That one's for you, Seth McFarland]]!

[''Suddenly Rosechu's voice is heard from far away. It sounds equal amounts desperate and helpless.'']

'''Rosechu:''' Help me Sonichu! Help!

[''The camera zooms in on Sonichu's face, which is now filled with concern, bordering on panic. He glances desperately back and forth, trying to determine where the sound came from. The screen fades to black for the final time. The words "Sonichu.Net" appear once again, only this time a note appears underneath the familiar address, saying "NOT [[Jimmy Hill|Sonichu.110mb.com]]" A second note in the bottom right warns us further with "do NOT go here".'']

===Chris's version===
Aside from the obvious drop in quality, the actions Sonichu takes in this comic are largely unchanged from the ones he made in the video. Chris changes the line "kick the autistic" to "kick the quick", possibly his way of indicating that Sonichu is not [[autistic]]. "That one's for you, Seth McFarland!" is changed to Sonichu wondering if Seth McFarlane really did use Chris's joke in the beginning of the ''Family Guy'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Road to Germany|Road to Germany]]". Instead of Sonichu being helpless and confused after hearing Rosechu at the end, he somehow magically knows exactly where she is and runs off after her, reinforcing his status as a Mary Sue and [[Chris and writing|draining the segment of any tension or drama]].

Chris then asks timmys1984 to change the lines in his videos to match the ones in the comic, under the impression that his incredibly bad writing would somehow improve the videos, or that he has the [[Chris and his ego|authority]] to force these kinds of changes in the first place. He is, of course, wrong on both counts.
==References==
<references/>
{{Sonichu}}

Voicemail greeting

2011-03-10T22:26:16Z

SeventhBase: /* 1 March, 2011 */

Chris's '''voicemail message''' has varied through time, ranging from straightforward to downright bizarre.

[http://vocaroo.com/player.swf?playMediaID=vhXI71tQQmPUrNPWE&server=m1.vocaroo.com&autoplay=0%22]

== [[Car Pranks|2 August, 2009]] ==
'''Chris:''' Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler. I'm sorry I could not answer right now, but please leave your name message, telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. And I was advised heavily by my [[Bob Chandler|publicist]] and my [[Barbara Chandler|lawyers]] to not do any interviews or a documentaries whatsoever. Even in- Because I got so much reputation-and at stake-at the current time. Also if this is a, uh, [[Troll]] trying to troll me back, do you think how much [[Minor CWC-isms|trollin' stupid]]? I'm not [[Naive|trollin' stupid]], you're [[Slow-in-the-minds|trollin' stupid]]. Have a good day.
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHJ1gev6x7o Listen here!]

== 1 March, 2011 ==
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is [[Greene County Conspiracy|very paranoid of cyber-bullies]] at this time. If you are coming in on restricted, unknown, or [[Chris and English|out-of-state-of-Virginia number]], please do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again. [[Random-access humor|Message 1-5-8]].
* [http://vocaroo.com/?media=vbRZXzyfE8F7mySE6 Listen here]
{{stub}}

Voicemail greeting

2011-03-10T22:24:16Z

SeventhBase:

Chris's '''voicemail message''' has varied through time, ranging from straightforward to downright bizarre.

[http://vocaroo.com/player.swf?playMediaID=vhXI71tQQmPUrNPWE&server=m1.vocaroo.com&autoplay=0%22]

== [[Car Pranks|2 August, 2009]] ==
'''Chris:''' Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler. I'm sorry I could not answer right now, but please leave your name message, telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. And I was advised heavily by my [[Bob Chandler|publicist]] and my [[Barbara Chandler|lawyers]] to not do any interviews or a documentaries whatsoever. Even in- Because I got so much reputation-and at stake-at the current time. Also if this is a, uh, [[Troll]] trying to troll me back, do you think how much [[Minor CWC-isms|trollin' stupid]]? I'm not [[Naive|trollin' stupid]], you're [[Slow-in-the-minds|trollin' stupid]]. Have a good day.
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHJ1gev6x7o Listen here!]

== 1 March, 2011 ==
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is [[CWC is sad|very paranoid of cyber-bullies]] at this time. If you are coming in on restricted, unknown, or [[Chris and English|out-of-state-of-Virginia number]], please do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again. [[Random-access humor|Message 1-5-8]].
* [http://vocaroo.com/?media=vbRZXzyfE8F7mySE6 Listen here]
{{stub}}

Talk:Shojo Beat

2011-02-01T14:46:11Z

SeventhBase: /* Thanks */ new section

Should we just crop the image so we can use the relevant parts? --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 23:11, 30 January 2011 (PST)

== Thanks ==

Thanks for the cleanup. I think this is a nice result.--[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 06:46, 1 February 2011 (PST)

Chris in the media

2011-01-31T05:36:53Z

SeventhBase: /* Traditional Media */

[[Chris]], being an attention whore of sorts, has frequently managed to find himself in the '''media''' spotlight. Television, newspapers, magazines and, of course, the internet - if Chris can find some way to earn his [[Wikipedia:15 minutes of fame|15 minutes of fame]], he'll do it.

==Traditional Media==
===Richmond Times-Dispatch===

{{main|IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES}}

In 1993, the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' newspaper ran an article detailing how Chris changed his name from "Christopher" to the more well-known "Christian". This is Chris's first known appearance in the media.

===Sonic The Hedgehog Watch And Win Sweepstakes===

{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes}}

Chris's second appearance in the media was a news report in 1994 chronicling Chris's first victory, winning a contest celebrating one of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoons.

===Chris Chan in the PokéNews===

{{main|Chris Chan in the PokéNews}}

In 1999, Chris made his third appearance in a news report on the growing success of the Pokémon Trading Card Game. He was 17 at the time, and he was playing Pokémon cards with [[Pedofork|kids as young as 8]].

===Nintendo Power Magazine===

{{main|Nintendo Power Magazine}}

Twice, Chris has used the magazine ''Nintendo Power'' to get himself attention. First was a letter Chris wrote telling Nintendo how [[lie|he used a video game to cure his fear of talking to girls]]. The second time detailed Chris's Animal Crossing video, though there he was known as [[Sonichu]], not Chris.

===Shoujo Beat===

{{main|Shoujo Beat}}

Chris sent a letter to an anime-themed magazine that got published in its November [[2005]] issue. In it, he complains about [[JERKS]] taking away all the pretty [[boyfriend-free girl]]s and leaving him to be a [[Virgin With Rage|lonely virgin]]. A response was published in the March [[2006]] issue, in which the writer instructs Chris on the error of his ways.

=== WBCN Toucher and Rich ===

{{main|Toucher and Rich Segment}}

On 12 [[May 2009]] Chris's antics became so famous that it sparked the interest of a radio ([http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145 podcast]) in Boston. The whole media furor was sparked by the [[I Got A Fish]] video. However, most of the show covered Chris's videos addressed to [[Ivy]].

=== KROQ The Kevin and Bean Show===

{{main|The Kevin and Bean Show Segment}}

One of Chris's [[Captain's Log]]s is dissected by the hosts Kevin and Bean. Notably, the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video in question]] required ''a full two minutes'' dedicated to disclaimers, as well as censoring of [[Semen#Recycling|certain]] [[Honest content|unairable]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|acts]] .

=== Web Soup ===

{{main|For G4s Web Soup}}

Once again, Chris's I Got A Fish video was briefly featured, this time on [[Wikipedia:G4 (TV channel)|G4]]'s ''[[Wikipedia:Web Soup|Web Soup]]'' on 2 [[July 2009]]. While the segment lasted less than 30 seconds, Chris initially felt honored and used the opportunity to try to score some [[china]]. Days later, Chris realizes that ''Web Soup'' is a show devoted to making fun of [[Slow-in-the-minds|stupid people]] on the internet like himself.

==Internet Media==

===Fark.com===
The world-renown Internet portal [http://www.fark.com/cgi/vidplayer.pl?IDLink=4369161|Fark linked] to [[ECV 00095]] on 5 [[May 2009]].

{{quote|You don't need to search any longer, the [[The Creepy Stare|creepiest]] person on the internet has been found|A Farker}}

===Heavy.com===
Chris tops the site's list of the 20 Worst Internet Losers, posted 13 [[July 2010]].

{{quote|There could be no other choice to close out this list. [[Christian Weston Chandler]], aka Chris-Chan, is like every horrible thing about the Internet made flesh. [[14 Branchland Court|Lives]] with his [[Bob Chandler|par]][[Barbara Chandler|ents]], sponges off the [[monthly tugboat|government]] and uses the cash for [[PS3|PlayStation 3]] games and [[sex toys]], walks around the [[Fashion Square Mall|mall]] with his Game Boy [[love quest|looking for girlfriends]], posts incoherent YouTube videos of himself [[For Julie's Eyes Only|humping an anime bodypillow]] and yelling “Oh, [[Julie]],” the list will go on forever. C.W.C. is the ''ne plus ultra'' of Web losers.|Heavy.com, [http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/the-20-worst-internet-losers/4/ 20 Worst Internet Losers]}}

===Nicolas Cage Wants Cake===
An animated version of Chris appears briefly in the animated cartoon short "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesaA Nicolas Cage Wants Cake]", which is a mash up of a scene from the film [[Family Guy|The Family Man]]. This may be the only Youtube video he is featured in that wasn't uploaded by Chris or a troll.

===Atop the Fourth Wall===
Comic reviewer Linkara goes on a brief tirade in his video [http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html Top 15 Things I Will Never Review] about [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] on the subject of webcomics at the 24 minute mark.

{{quote|"But wait," the internet cried back, "let me tell you about the horror that is... Sonichu!" Yes people, I have heard of Sonichu. I really wish I hadn't heard of Sonichu. I would be a much happier man if I hadn't.|Linkara}}

At the end of the video, he uses Weird Al's "Do I Creep You Out" as the credits music, a possible jab at Chris.

===RayWilliamJohnson===
In one episode of =3, I will end you, Ray made fun of Chris's habbit of drinking his cum. Though he never gave Chris's name, (refereeing to him as 'your average star-trek nerd) he did provide a link to Chris's old channel. This is one of the few videos about Chris not made by a troll.

===Webcam Ward===
The [http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/sonic-the-hog.php last episode] of Something Awful's “Webcam Ward” is a commentary on [[ECV 00002]].

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

Megan emails, 2005-2006

2011-01-31T05:16:48Z

SeventhBase: /* Megan calls Chris out */

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails between [[Megan]] and [[Chris]] between November [[2005]] and June [[2006]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.
==E-mails==
===Megan wants a ''Tintin'' episode===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Tue, 1 Nov 2005 3:14 am 
Subject: quick!

Hey quick! Please go to ebay and type [[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Tintin (TV series)|Tintin videos]]

There's a buy it now near the bottom. The episode is [[Wikipedia:Cigars of the Pharaoh|Cigars of the Pharoahs]]. it's $9.99 and shipping is 5.75

Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!
}}

===Chris wants to date Megan at McDonald's===
{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sat, 3 Dec 2005 8:12:18 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Hi Hi, Meg.

I've just talked to [[Bob Chandler|my father]] about him coming one Friday. Currently, he's a bit under the weather. But if he feels better by this coming Friday, he'd like for us to get together at the [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] closest to the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game & Hobby place]] after the League-Play. I'll let you know for sure Friday.

Thank you for the drawings you gave me. For your island's name, I feel that, "[[Parody|Parodyse]] Island," is a slightly better name.

Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]]. So, I'll be working more often on them; I hope you're still working on your Strawberry Pink story, because it fascinates me. ;8)

I'll talk to you again soon.

Stay Sweet;

Chris Chan.}}

===Don't kiss me, bro===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 20 Dec 2005
Subject: happy holidays

Hello!

Yes I did watch the musical and [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] and I agreed we officially hate that bad-guy, we think he's kinda queer. I thought the ending was the best part. I like how Eternal [[Sailor Moon|Sailormoon]] came out. We should try and find the fourth season that includes my favorite villains the Amazoness Quartet. I heard they sing a lot with [[Sailor Moon Poster|Chibiusa]].

I love the first season of the [[anime]]. It's got that old mono sound quality to it. I like anime that sounds vintage. but of course the [[america]]n version re-did all the [[music]]...

Thank you again for such nice gifts! I wasn't expecting that!

Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance on kissing me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being independant. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just ag irl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.

Well since I bought models and been working on them I think the glue has made me ill, so in case I don't feel well enough to go on the computer I'll go ahead and say

I hope you have a Merry [[Christmas]] and the holidays go well for you. 
Megan 
ps no one in my family is [[autistic]]. uuuuh I feel ill I'm gonna take a nap watching sailormoon!}}

===Chris wants her number===

{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sun, 7 May 2006 2:03:38 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Meg-Chan.

Hey, no worries about the park meeting yesterday; I enjoyed watching the [[duck]]s and the fish. I've also talked to some of the ducks... have I done my [[Donald Duck impersonation|"Donald Duck" imitation]] for you? [[Pedofork|And the children that passed by were fun to watch as well.]] I'd love to ride the train with you. :)

I plan on working on my room as well this week.

I'll jump in on the 87-photo lot tonight at about 7:45...wait till the last minute... and punch in my max. bid. I'll let you know about the monetary total after winning the photos for you. ;)

That's funny you've bought [[Wikipedia:Super Princess Peach|Super Princess Peach]]; so did I, and I am enjoying it as well. I'll send you a list of the games of your selected systems in my next E-Mail in a MSExcel file. I'll bold the ones I'd be willing to trade/give to you; you can print it for yourself and highlight the one's you'd like (I've misplaced the list with your underlines... I'm sorry).

Megan, I'd feel much better if I could converse with you about these situations vocally (than written), because I feel a bit of tension from waiting a day or two for your reply. And I feel that our points would come across between us more effectively. I understand that you don't like to "waste time on the phone," but how often do you receive calls at your house or cell from anyone other than telemarketers? So, could I get your phone number, please?

I know that I've given you mine a few times, so you have that.

Love, with you always in my mind and heart;

Chris Chan.}}

===Megan comments on Chris's photos===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
Sent: Mon, 5 Jun 2006 12:18 am 
Subject: My tour through CWCville

Hi! I'm leaving tomorrow so I have time for one more email!

I'm typing this and looking at the pics of your stuff at the same time!

Let's see what I see....

pic#1: I notice the [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Octan Octan] signs right away. John had several sets from that. Wow this is neat, I never combined my sets like that. I only have a few small ones.

pic#2: First of all you have the same window air cooling unit I have. I see [[Ghostbusters|Houndhowl]] hanging down! No offence but [[Chris's room|your room]] looks a little cluttered and messy. Sometime I'll be like [[Wikipedia:Brock (Pokémon)|Brock]] the super maid and get that place organized!!

pic#3: Is that a japanese temple I see!? I've NEVER seen that before! OH!! You have an Egyptian set!! With my lego hero!! [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Johnny_Thunder Johnny Thunder]!! I have a set with a sphinx.

pic#4: Neat [[Pokemon]] poster! Hey I see my german boys down below!! I wonder....did you do that on purpose so I'd notice? ;)

pic#5: your closeups are really professional. I wish my camera was that good, cause I'd give you pics of my anime collection!

pic#6: Interesting combo: [[No More Jokes|Spiderman]] and a [[Sonichu]] car...!

pic#7: Neat sign. Neat [[lego]] dude. I've always liked the heads with the shades.

pic#8: Nice [[America|patriotic]] scene you got going there. Like the flag too.

pic#9: Holy Wow it's CHRISTIAN!!

pic#10: Is that a plane? [[Chris and art|I can't really tell.]]

pic#11: [[Jerkops|Cool cops]]! Look it's your [[Nintendo|gamecube]]! Am I an animal? :D

pic#12: uuuh....wow. Sonichu and you. How did you make the heads?

pic#13: read above

pic#14: I'm guessing that's the mayor? Otherwise you've cloned yourself with different hair!

pic#15: blurry

pic#16: dark and scary

pic#17: A wee blurry. Who's the red one again?

pic#18: nice little cafe. Is that Johnny too I see?

pic#19: nevermind.....it's just a Johnny [[Ian Brandon Anderson|imposter]].

pic#20: I totally want those sharks! :D

pic#21: Can't make out the sign

pic#22: The infamous [[birthday]] hospital!!

pic#23: Who's the wierdo with blue arms?!

pic#24: AAAH There he is again!!

pic#25: I don't know these people. Fill me in

pic#26: What's going on?

pic#27: Wahahahaha!! Either Crazy Hand or Master Hand came to visit!!

pic#28: That's a dudey-dude!

pic#29: You ever dust them off? hahaha

pic#30: *coughcough*

pic#31: Nice truck *please dust me, please dust me!*

pic#32: He looks scary and mean

pic#33: The almighty......something

pic#34: Whoa! It's [[Homos|Prince Fagalot]], Batman, and the [[Bunny Hop|Easter Bunny]]! NO WAIT!!! It's Liberty Bell, Mange, and Harmony Bunny!!

pic#35: Post Office

pic#36: Please.....please dust that poor horsey

pic#37: Why is there a witch in the middle of a fuel station! Looks like someone died too.

pic#38: A Red Cross office?

pic#39: What's this little place?

pic#40: Hoooooly Craaaaap......[[Wikipedia:Star Wars|Obi Wan, Luke, and Qui-gon]] are at the freakin bank!!

pic#41: Is this a night scene? Nice special effects

pic#42: Hey I see some of the stuff I gave you! Omigod! I can't BELIEVE you have that Mewtwo picture still!! hehehe can't wait til my birthday! Just a little request. can you please wrap the pieces in toilet paper so the paint won't scuff up the other parts? know what I mean? Anyway that was a nice conclusion of my tour through your city!! Thank you! JUST KIDDING!!! I already have my own plush of him!

picture of you, sonichu and [[rosechu]].: Wow this part of your room looks clean!! Oh wait it's a hotel room. wahahaha!

I've got the full poop on that lego car!

[[Transformers]]! More than meets the eye! Tranformers! Megan-likes-[[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam|gundam]]-better-then-you-so goodbye!

Thanks for the pictures! I'll put them on my computer and use this cd to burn the tracks I have for you I meant to do a while ago. The English song and German song and others.

I'll talk to you when I have come back from my trip! Thanks again! Bye ~Megan}}

===Megan calls Chris out===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 7 Aug 2006
Subject: hey

Ok thanks.

You know I haven't talked to this person in a year. I'm not really wanting to get together with him either. Boyfriends aren't for me. Don't want em, don't need em.
However I can't say I like how you call him a lucky "jerk"
Why is he a jerk? Why do you call ALL guys that?
Because they "Take all the pretty girls leaving you none to choose from?"
Hate to be blunt but that's a pathetic way to think!
You don't go to a mall and buy a girlfriend! The thing is, the guys didn't take all the girls.....the girls just didn't choose you. Quit blaming other men! Girls chose who their boyfriend was too!
You should know, that girl Soshii loves has a boyfriend. But does he hate Night or other guys?

Just because YOU don't have a girlfriend doesn't give you the right to HATE ALL MEN!! It's not THEIR fault! The world doesn't revolve around you. And keeping this grudge will really get you nowhere.

Personally I think you shouldn't be so picky about what they look like. All you say is you want a "pretty girl". Well it's the INSIDE that counts! Afterall, a pretty girl can have the personality of Satan, meanwhile an "ugly" girl may have a heart of gold but you wouldn't even give a second look would you?

I often wonder:
If I was an ugly girl, you wouldn't even come near me would you?

Which also makes me bring up something else. During the tag team, you yelled how you didn't want to pair up with a beginner! Did it even occur to you how many little kids' feelings you just shattered?
And so if I was a beginner, would you say that to me as well? Or would you just pair up anyway cause I happen to be a GIRL?
Your insults and hatred towards other guys can offend me cause it offends my brother!

Well sorry all that sounds mean, but I hope it gave you something to think about.
I remember seeing a letter posted by you in [[Shoujo Beat]]. Then a couple issues later there was a reply to that. Did you see that? Well that girl is absolutely right!!

Ugh...hungry}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:20051220-Meg-Hglght.png
Image:Megan 06-04-22.PNG
Image:Megan 06-06-25-2.PNG
Image:Megan 06-05-01.PNG
Image:Megan 06-08-07.PNG
Image:Shoujobeatchrischanletter.jpg
Image:Shoujobeatchrischanletterreply.jpg
</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}
{{emails}}
[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Shojo Beat

2011-01-31T05:15:55Z

SeventhBase: Created page with "'''Shoujo Beat''' is an anime-themed magazine. Chris sent a letter to them, which got published in the November 2005 issue. A response was subsequently made in March [[20..."

'''Shoujo Beat''' is an anime-themed magazine. [[Chris]] sent a letter to them, which got published in the November [[2005]] issue. A response was subsequently made in March [[2006]].

== Scans ==

[[Image:Shoujobeatchrischanletter.jpg]]

[[Image:Shoujobeatchrischanletterreply.jpg]]

=== Transcripts ===

'''OH BOY'''

Riiko Izawa in Absolute Boyfriend sort of has the same problem I do: She can't get a guy, and I can't get a girl. Here's my sitch. All the pretty girls are already paired up with some [[jerk]], leaving me with none to choose from. Also, nobody can tell, off the bat, a paired-up from a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]]. At first, it's equally hard for Riiko to find a Girlfriend-Free Boy, but then she is granted his wish where she gets a Girlfriend-Free Boy (although he is a robot) delivered to her doorstep. Lucky girl. I'm 23 years old; one would think I'd gotten a girlfriend by now, but no, I haven't. I'm stuck in the situation where if my parents should pass away, I will be a very lonely [[Virgin with rage|virgin]].

-''Christian Chandler''

{{incomplete}}

Disguises

2011-01-31T05:01:32Z

SeventhBase: HAHAHA youze so crazy.

As with [[lies|lying]], Chris is not very skilled at the art of [[Disguises|disguises]] and deception.

==Chris's Disguises==

===Junior Jenkins (a.k.a. JenkinsJinkies)===
[[Image:Fatjenkins.jpg|left|thumb]]
{{quote|I am not a pussy; I am as wild as a serial raper.|Super Troll JenkinsJinkies (NOT [[Chris|CHRIS]])}}
The 14 year-old "black sheep of the family", [[User talk:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] infiltrated the Trolls' Secret Base of Operations by creating the famous [[Burger King]] article. He quickly rose through the Troll Ranks after revealing his backstory, homosexual experiences, and like all Trolls, his true hatred of [[Autistic]] individuals. He even moved into a house across the street from the Chandlers and witnessed many of their disturbing activities. Believe it or not, the masked man you see in the photo to the left is NOT in fact a [[BlueSpike|14 year-old boy]].
 

===Bill Riley===
[[Image:BillRiley.jpg|left|thumb]]
{{quote|You know what we should do, we should make him force himself on his counslor [sic]|Novice Troll Bill Riley (NOT [[Chris|CHRIS]])}}

Bill was a 30 year old man who found nothing strange about female trolls asking about the dimensions of his genitalia. When asked why he was trolling Chris, he claimed that it was because Chris killed Clyde Cash, called him a homo, and sent him a computer virus. He did nothing in the chat except lurk, waiting for trolls to reveal a big plan. When pressured into suggesting ideas of his own, Bill suggested that trolls make Chris rape Rocky. When asked how this would troll Chris, he claimed that Chris would "compare himself" to Rocky mid-rape and see how inferior he was.

Bill was the first of Chris's attempts to impersonate a troll. From the start, there are tons of problems, the least of which being that the man in the photograph Chris provided is very clearly over the age of thirty. Chris made no effort to conceal his highly noticeable Typing Manner. Eventually, he realized he was found out.

 

===The Real Chris Chandler===
[[Image:Liquidd.jpg|left|thumb]]
{{quote|I'm just gonna keep bangin' your breasts over and over again until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!|The [[Liquid Chris|Real Chris]] (NOT [[Solid Chris|CHRIS]])}}

During the Liquid saga, Chris attempted to steal Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]]. Kacey [[Kacey Phone Call|spoke to Chris over the phone]], in which Chris attempted to impersonate her lover. He made no effort to impersonate Liquid's voice, and at one point forgot that he was supposed to be someone else. At one point, he uploaded a video in which he attempted to continue this deception to his own account--something that Liquid would not have been able to do.

Eventually, Chris decided to come clean about it. Kacey was not pleased.

 

===Samantha Thaddeus===
[[Image:Samthad.jpg|left|thumb]]
{{quote|I gotta do some grocery shopping, Plus I'm having a few cramps|Teenage Girl Samantha Thaddeus (NOT [[Chris|CHRIS]])}}

Hilarity ensued when Chris attempted to impersonate Samantha Thaddeus. Despite being in contact with her for an extended period of time prior to assuming control of her email account, his "Samantha" was completely off-track. In his very first email to Jack Thaddeus under this alias, Chris assumed the mannerisms of a cartoonish male thug working for an evil organization. As Jack strung Chris along, Chris also came into contact with [[Katie Bay E-mails|Katie Bay]]. In both of these emails, Samantha is suddenly a hilarious cross between how Chris thinks women act and how Chris thinks trolls act.

 

===Carlos Chantor===
[[Image:Chantor.jpg|left|thumb]]
{{quote|Experienced for Her Pleasure.|Sexual Master [[Carlos Chantor|Carlos Chantor]] (NOT [[Virgin|CHRIS]])}}

During the summer of 2010, Chris attempted to become a male escort under the alias of Carlos Chantor. He gave up after nobody called him. Oddly enough, this is actually his most practical disguise, as he simply hid away on a corner of the internet where nobody expected him to go, changed his name, and wore normal clothes. It just goes to show how normal Chris could look if he weren't such a lazy slob.

 

{{stub}}
{{orphaned}}

JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV

2011-01-31T04:58:59Z

SeventhBase: /* History */

[[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]] was a video leaked on 8 [[August 2010]]. In the video we see Chris, standing in the bathroom at his local Goodwill with what appears to be his [[PaRappa]] [[Chris and fashion|shirt]] on his head.

==History==

In [[May 2010]], Chris attempted to join the [[CWCki]] as "[[JenkinsJinkies]]". After he wrote the bizarre [[Coffee Place]] article, he was fooled into thinking he'd become a legendary [[troll]] and invited to join the "[[The Miscreants|inner circle]]" at [[Trollin Train]]. As part of the application process, he was required to make a video similar to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSku5IkHHAM this] stating why he hated Chris, mention some nefarious trollings he'd done, and pledge allegiance to Clyde Cash.

It should be noted that Chris apparently thought doing his Uncle Ruckus impression (in lieu of digital distortion, as per the example video) and putting a shirt on his head would be enough to convince trolls that he was a fourteen-year-old boy.

{{Infobox/video
| name = JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|L8L0g7ESIU4}}
| stardate = 8 [[August 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{WhiteTShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[6 June 2010]]
| next = [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]]
}}

{{quote|I've performed my own voice-check with my DSi's Voice-Recording Program; I've found the best method to completely change my voice is to go deep, and also pucker my lips while I spoke. It really worked.|[[Jackie_E-mails_5|Chris on the making of this video]]}}

==Transcript==
[''disguised voice'']

To - For [[Clyde Cash]], and for everybody else on the [[CWCki]]...
I hate Christian Weston Chandler because... he is a lazy slob, [[Monthly tugboat|the money]] is wasted on him, he doesn't have to work for his money, damn that - damn him! And also, he is not friendly to us [[JERKS|males]]! [''voice breaking''] He should be friendly to us males. It makes me- it really ticks me off. [''Grunt'']

Anyway, I have been trolling him... I sent a nice emails in the beginning when I started reading in- reading [[Sonichu (comic)|the comics]], and then, uh, he did not reply, so then I sent him a load of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]], and then I pretended to be, you know, a whole bunch of other companies like Zack's [?] and such, obviously illegally but that's beside the point.
Anyway, [''raises right hand''] I pledge my allegiance to Clyde Cash [''lowers hand''] and everybody else at the CWCki of [''voice breaking''] getting information on Christian Weston Chandler.

I'm sorry I have been taking so long to do this, but I was just getting settled in, into my new home across the street from his house. Black sheep of the family. They live in that house and they promise not to tell my family back up in Boston. But of course, you know also, I ha- I have uh trolled him, I found him over at the [[Burger King]] on the way back to Boston from South Virginia. As I have created [[Coffee Place|the famous Burger King page]].

Thanks very much; Clyde Cash, you rule.

[''walks offscreen'']

{{LeakedVideos}}

JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV

2011-01-31T04:50:59Z

SeventhBase: /* Transcript */

[[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]] was a video leaked on 08 August 2010. In the video we see Chris, standing in the bathroom at his local Goodwill with what appears to be his Parappa shirt on his head.

==History==

In May 2010, Chris attempted to join the CWCki as JenkinsJinkies. After he wrote the infamous [[Coffee Place]] article, he was fooled into thinking he'd become a legendary troll and invited to join the "inner circle" at [[Trollin Train]]. As part of the application process, he was required to make a video stating why he hated Chris, mention some nefarious trollings he'd done, and pledge allegiance to Clyde Cash.

It should be noted that Chris apparently thought doing his Uncle Ruckus impression and putting a shirt on his head would be enough to convince trolls that he was a fourteen year old boy.

{{Infobox/video
| name = JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|L8L0g7ESIU4}}
| stardate = 08 August 2010
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{WhiteTShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[6 June 2010]]
| next = [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]]
}}

{{quote|I've performed my own voice-check with my DSi's Voice-Recording Program; I've found the best method to completely change my voice is to go deep, and also pucker my lips while I spoke. It really worked.|[[Jackie_E-mails_5|Chris on the making of this video]]}}

==Transcript==

[''Disguised voice'']
To - For Clyde Cash, and for everybody else on the CWCki...
I hate Christian Weston Chandler because... he is a lazy slob, the money is wasted on him, he doesn't have to work for his money, damn that - damn him! And also, he is not friendly to us males! He should be friendly to us males. [''Voice breaking''] It makes me- it really ticks me off. [''Grunt'']

Anyway, I have been trolling him... I sent a nice emails in the beginning when I started reading in- reading the comics, and then, uh, he did not reply, so then I sent him a load of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]], and then I pretended to be, you know, a whole bunch of other companies like Zack's [?] and such, obviously illegally but that's beside the point.
Anyway, [''Raises right hand''] I pledge my allegiance to Clyde Cash [''Lowers hand''] and everybody else at the CWCki of [''voice breaks''] getting information on Christian Weston Chandler.

I'm sorry I have been taking so long to do this, but I was just getting settled in, into my new home across the street from his house. Black sheep of the family. They live in that house and they promise not to tell my family back up in Boston. But of course, you know also, I ha- I have uh trolled him, I found him over at the Burger King on the way back to Boston from South Virginia. As I have created the famous Burger King page.

Thanks very much, Clyde Cash you rule.

[''Walks off screen'']

{{LeakedVideos}}

Ghostbusters (video)

2011-01-07T04:10:55Z

SeventhBase: /* Transcript */

'''Ghostbusters''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris plays ''The Real Ghostbusters'' theme on ''Rock Band 2'', tries to sing, but not before doing some howling.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Ghostbusters
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Do5F3JsfPms}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga =
| previous = [[HairDifference#HairDifferenceAfter|HairDifferenceAfter]]
| next = [[ToJackie]]
}}

===Transcript===

Here's a fun, spooky dedication. A fun, spooky dedication. Happy ''[howls]''-oleen. -oween.

GHOSTBUSTERS

If there's [[Chris|something strange]] 
in your [[Ruckersville|neighborhood]] 
Who ya gonna call? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

If there's something weird 
and it don't look good 
Who ya gonna call? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

I ain't afraid of no [[Patti|ghosts]] 
I ain't afraid of no ghosts 

If you're seeing things 
running through your head 
Who ya gonna call? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

An invisible man 
sleeping in your bed 
Who ya gonna call? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

I ain't afraid of no ghosts 

Hey! I got one for ya!

You seein things 
in your head 
Who ya gonna call? 
[[Random Access Humor|Mr. Fred!]] 
he [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|wets the bed!]] 
Whatcha gonna do 
when Mr Fred 
wets the bed? 
EEEEWWWWW! 
He wet the dang bed! 

Oh and also. 
You gotta ghost? 
Who do you really call? 
You call another ghost! 
You call another ghost 
to get rid of the first ghost! 
I mean, if it's a boy ghost 
you call a girl ghost 
or vise versa. 

Who ya gonna call, though? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

If you've had dose of 
freaky ghost 
Ya better call 
ANOTHER GHOST 
or Mr. Fred 
They're better than Ghostbusters! 
of the Jake, Eddie, Tracy Clan 
They're the real Ghostbusters. 

[[Mass debating|Bustin']] makes me feel good! 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

ANOTHER GHOST 

ANOTHER GHOST 

ANOTHER GHOST 

ANOTHER GHOST 

If not them 
The GHOSTBUSTERS 

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[HairDifference#HairDifferenceAfter|HairDifferenceAfter]]|nextlink=[[ToJackie]]}}

{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Common Questions

2011-01-05T15:45:46Z

SeventhBase:

In late [[December 2009]], the [[CWCipedia]] [[Mailbag|Mailbags]] gained a new subsection, a series of short questions allegedly asked by many people who had written to Chris. Chris was surprisingly diligent about answering all of these '''Common Questions''' (normal people would call them "Frequently Asked Questions" - "FAQ") with every new mailbag. The answers, unsurprisingly, were erratic at best. Sometimes Chris provided [[Honest Content|far too much information]], and other times he would provide a single word in response when a longer answer would have been expected. On occasion, he would change the text in the question itself to suit his needs, a practice of editing he'd been using in the mailbags since day one.

All of his answers have been compiled here, arranged by the date on which he answered them.

==28 December 2009==

*'''Q: Have you ever read any books on how to go about creating [[art]]? e.g. [[Wikipedia:Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain|Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain]], [[Wikipedia:The Elements of Style|The Elements of Style]], How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way, [[Mailbag 26#In which Chris's brain starts to work!|On Writing]], or things like internet tutorials?'''
::A: [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|I have read such books]], and I have taken many [[art]]s classes too.

*'''Q: If you were a director [[A CWC Audition|in Hollywood]], what kinds of films would you make?'''
::A: Action/Steamy ([[Chris and English|Striaght]]) Romance

*'''Q: You said you read [[R.L. Stine]] books when you were in high school. What kind of books do you read now? "Literary" fiction? Genre, like mystery or horror or science fiction? Nonfiction?'''
::A: I read less books now, although the last book I read was [[Wikipedia:Pamela Anderson|Pamela Anderson]]'s Star.

*'''Q: Have you considered creating non-[[Sonichu]] comics or stories?'''
::A: Yes, and the ideas are still in my head.

*'''Q: Have you ever accepted and used constructive criticism in your comics? Or do you blow off anything anyone says that is slightly negative, even if their intentions are to help you improve your art?'''
::A: I have accepted and used ideas and criticism one such example was the [[Sonichu Fan Promo|Sonichu Animations from YouTube User: Timmys1984]]; it was very good, yet the lines were wrong originally. At least I have set that record straight in my [[Sonichu 9|9th Book]].

*'''Q: Why do you steal jokes from so many other sources (i.e. [[Family Guy]] and [[Excel Saga]]) and put it in your comics? It isn't very original and you can't come up with an original concept if all the humor in your comics is stolen.'''
::A: Like [[Family Guy]], [[The Simpsons|Simpsons]], [[Excel Saga]], and even [[South Park]], taking jokes is of acceptable practice; it works when the author is short on original jokes, and wants to fill in a good one. Everybody does it. "[[wikipedia:Simpsons_Already_Did_It|Simpsons Did It]]."

*'''Q: Describe your artistic process. How do you get inspiration for ideas for your comics? What goes through your head when you draw and color your comics?'''
::A: I get the idea beforehand in random thought/imagination/dream, get pen and paper and write/draw it out. A lot goes through my head, and it is hard for me as a [[Chris and his Ego|creative genius]] to remember it all on-the-spot verbatim.

*'''Q: We all know you have [[autism]], but exactly what type do you have? There are multiple types on the spectrum.'''
::A: High-Functioning Autism.

*'''Q: What do you plan to do after you have found your true [[sweetheart]] and had your daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]?'''
::A: I will live my family life as I had dreamed and waited for hapily.

*'''Q: What would you do if either of you turned out to be infertile?'''
::A: That is just plain stupid; I am VERY Fertile; Certified in the Medical Clinic, and I would make sure my woman has not hit Menopause yet.

*'''Q: What would you do if you found your sweetheart, fell in love with her, married her, but she could only give birth to male children?.'''
::A: It is a 50/50 chance among all women; I trust God to come through in his promise as he has told me before. I will keep trying though; I am not [[Wikipedia:Henry VIII of England|King Henry VIII]].

*'''Q: Aside from creating Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] and excluding your future accomplishment of getting a true sweetheart and having your daughter Crystal, what is your greatest accomplishment in life and why?'''
::A: Graduating [[Manchester_High_School|High School]] and [[College]]; I have learned a LOT and met the requirements; it's all good.

*'''Q: What are your top five priorities in life and why?'''
::A: 1) Good [[Health]] - Who wants to be ill or sick? 2) Happiness - I don't like being [[CWC is sad|sad]]. 3) [[Love Quest|Love]] - I want to feel loved and appreciated by my closest ones. 4) Projects/Job - It gives me something to do. 5) [[Money]] - It does not make the world go around, but everyone wants it to feel like they are getting something out of a deal.

*'''Q: If you were made the absolute leader of the entire world for a day and your word was taken as law, what sorts of things would you do to make the world a better place?'''
::A: [[Chris and reality|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples]], leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All [[gays]] would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.

*'''Q: What about fucking [[sex toys|sex dolls]], [[masturbating]], drawing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|smut]]? Isn't this all forbidden for true Christians?'''
::A: It is not forbidden; that would be the Jews who are against those things, and I am not Jewish, and I respect them as [[Michael Snyder|individual people.]]

*'''Q: Contrary to what you stated in issue 8, the age of consent in most of the United States is BELOW 18 (17 or 16). What is your opinion on this?'''
::A: I understand that SOME states have that law, and I feel that it is good; [[Pedofork|it broadens the range by one or two years, so one would feel lest restricted]].

*'''Q: What would you say is the most romantic thing you have ever done with or to a woman?'''
::A: [[The Creepy Stare|Sensual, emotionally-linked eye-contact]].

*'''Q: We've been hearing about your creations becoming more and more popular amongst the gay community. What are your thoughts on this?'''
::A: Firstly, their perspectives of my work are flawed; they misunderstand some points, and I do not care for that at all; It is a STRAIGHT Comic; [[Homos]]exuality Lifestyle is HEAVILY DISCOURAGED and DETESTED. Second, I really feel hatred in them placing MY characters in their events WRONGFULLY, even in... [[It's UGH!|UGH!!!]]... pride parades and essays promoting their lifestyle. All of My [[Magi-Chan|Sonichus]] and [[Silvana|Rosechus]] Are Straight! And I Am Straight! DO NOT SAY OTHERWISE, Because It is Mislabeling; it is Very Wrong, and I DO NOT APPRECIATE IT AT ALL.

*'''Q: Do you plan to give an ending to Sonichu's story?'''
::A: [[Chris and reality|No]].

*'''Q: Do Sonichu and Rosechu have full names (that is, two-part names, like all other [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]])? If so, what are they?'''
::A: No, they are the very first Sonichu and Rosechu, so they do not have such names.

*'''Q: Will [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Eevails]], or possibly some other [[Tails]]-like creature, appear in your comic?'''
::A: No.

==31 December 2009==

*'''Q: What do you think about people harassing others over [[PlayStation]] home?'''
::A: I do not like it at all.

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst movies you have ever <s>seen</s> heard of and would never ever watch in your entire life?'''
::A: [[Homos|''Brokeback Mountain, Borat, Bruno, Crying Game, Krull'']].

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst TV shows you have ever <s>seen</s> heard of and would never ever watch in your entire life?'''
::A: I am unsure.

''Note: Chris added the strikeouts himself.''

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst video games you have ever played?'''
::A: I am unsure.

*'''Q: What are the 5 best movies you have ever seen?'''
::A: [[Mary Poppins]], All [[Transformers]] Movies, Both [[Ghostbusters|Ghostbuster]] Movies, [[Wikipedia:Saw (franchise)|All Saw Movies]], [[Wikipedia:The 40-Year Old Virgin|The 40-Year Old Virgin]].

*'''Q: What are the 5 best TV shows you have ever seen?'''
::A: [[Transformers]] (ALL Seasons and Sets), [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (All Shows), [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] (All Seasons), [[Wikipedia:Mythbusters|Mythbusters]], [[Filmation's Ghostbusters]] (Little Care for "The Real Ghostbusters"; Jake, Eddie and Tracy WERE THE [[Honest_Content#True_and_Honest,_HOnest_and_True|ORIGINAL]] REAL GHOSTBUSTERS).

*'''Q: What are the 5 best video games you have ever played?'''
::A: All [[Sonic|Sonic the Hedgehog Titles]], [[LittleBiGPlanet]] ([[PS3]] AND [[PSP]]), All [[Guitar Hero]] Titles, All [[Animal Crossing]] Titles, All [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] Titles.

*'''Q: Have you read classic comics like: [[Wikipedia:A Contract With God|A Contract With God]], [[Wikipedia:Maus|Maus]], [[Wikipedia:Watchmen|Watchmen]], or [[Wikipedia:The Sandman (Vertigo)|The Sandman]]?'''
::A: [[Wikipedia:Superman|Superman]], [[Wikipedia:Spider-Man|Spider-Man]] and the like.

*'''Q: Could you mention any specific titles or series of comics you have read (besides [[Sonic the Hedgehog]])?'''
::A: [[Wikipedia:Superman|Superman]], [[Wikipedia:Spider-Man|Spider-Man]] and the like.

*'''Q: What's your creative process like?'''
::A: [[Random]], Extensive, Tough to Comprehend sometimes...

*'''Q: How do you go about creating each comic--do you do storyboards or scriptwriting beforehand?'''
::A: Mental Storyboards and Scriptwriting, but I do write some of it out on paper.

*'''Q: How far in advance do you plan the story?'''
::A: About weeks to months in advance.

*'''Q: Besides [[Sonic]], [[Pokemon]], and your daily struggles, what inspires your [[writing]] and [[art]]?'''
::A: [[Things Chris has ripped off|Other shows, comics, video games]], and most importantly my [[Evan|Fans]]. :)

*'''Q: Did any specific comic book inspire you to create your own?'''
::A: I'd say the [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|Sonic the Hedgehog Comic Book Series]]

*'''Q: Why comics as opposed to short stories/novels?'''
::A: I enjoy [[Chris and art|drawing]], and I feel better with having pictures to associate the words with.

*'''Q: Would you ever consider getting a massage?'''
::A: Yes, [[Women's rights|from Women Only.]]

*'''Q: What is your purpose in life?'''
::A: Does anyone really know their own ONE TRUE purpose in life? We mostly are supposed to live one moment and day at a time as best we can to make us individually feel satisfied and at peace.

*'''Q: Do you believe in an afterlife?'''
::A: [[Chris and Religion#Afterlife|Yes]].

*'''Q: What do you think happens after we die?'''
::A: Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in [[Wikipedia:Heaven|Heaven]] or [[Wikipedia:Hell|Hell]] depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and [[Chris and Religion|possibly Reincarnation]].

==1 January 2010==

*'''Q: Where do you think you'll go after you die and why do you think that will be the case?'''
::A: I do my best and what I can to end up in [[Heaven]] , [[Lie|I do a lot of good deeds]].

*'''Q: You follow the Bible rigorously and believe homosexuality will send you to Hell. However, the Bible says that having unmarried sex will send you to Hell as well. Explain your reasonings you choose to ignore God's word and not waiting until after marriage but instead "after the 3rd date".'''
::A:Those more strict rules apply to the [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Jewish]], especially the [[Wikipedia:Boook of Leviticus|book of Leviticus]]. I am a Christian [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]], and as long as we feel comfortable and happy with our lives, if the Christian individual feels comfortable with [[Chris and sex|premarital sex]], then it is cool.

*'''Q: Can you justify your anti-homosexuality? How exactly?'''
::A: Yes; the [[Homos]] I have heard from try to push their damn lifestyle in my face, and I DO NOT CARE FOR THAT AT ALL; What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it.

*'''Q: Why does Rosechu wear clothes while Sonichu does not? Additionally, why are [[Lolisa]], [[DJ Jamsta]], and [[Rosechu]] the only Sonichus and Rosechus who wear clothing?'''
::A: Well, Why does Cindy [[Bear]] not wear clothes? Why does [[Wikipedia:Mickey Mouse|Mickey Mouse]] wear pants yet [[Sonic]] and [[Wikipedia:Donald Duck|Donald Duck]] do not? Why does [[Wikipedia:Daisy Duck|Daisy Duck]] wear ONLY a Top, yet [[Wikipedia:Minnie Mouse|Minnie Mouse]] wears a skirt? IT'S A CARTOON; WHO CARES?!

*'''Q: Are the [[Sonichu comics|''Sonichu'' comics]] still aimed at children? If so, what age group?'''
::A: Yes, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Ages 7 and Up]].

*'''Q: I am really interested in your [[Lego]] [[CWCville]], could you please draw an elaborate map of it for me?'''
::A: One Day, I will draw a map, although it is similar to the City of Cwcville, VA.

==5 January 2010==

*'''Q: If Sonichu got published how much would each Issue cost?'''
::A: I'd estimate $2.25, given the current shelf-comic prices. But ON the [[PS3|Playstation Network]]'s Digital Comic Service, I'd estimate $0.99 or $1.99 per Digital Issue.

*'''Q: How often does [[Sonichu]] have to stop and take breaks when he's running?'''
::A: He only stops for a rescue, [[China|social life]], [[Obesity|eating a chili dog, tacos or whatever he feels like chowin' down]], and to relax at home with his family.

*'''Q: Virginia lets you to marry your first cousin, but doesn't allow [[gays]] to marry. Do you think cousin-marriage is better than gay marriage? Why or why not?'''
::A: [[Chris and anger|WHAT THE F***?! WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT C***PIEST OF HEINOUS LIES ABOUT VIRGINIA?!]] Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN [[Barbara|MOTHER]] OR [[Bob|FATHER]]! In comparison, both unholy marriages are equally terrible.

==7 January 2010==

*'''Q: You said that you confess your sins and pray every night. What sins do you confess?'''
::A: To name a couple: I apologize right after each time I say something like "God damn" (I'm sorry, God); I confess and apologize for, if any that day, angry responses to my own father after he starts an arguement or gets on my nerves.

*'''Q: What exactly happened when you were called into [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s office?'''
::A: That was one time I would rather not go into or recall. She raised her voice at me in harsh tones about how "You won't be getting any women" or "Your methods are flawed and stupid" and even "You are Stupid, Christian". I responded very angrily and verbally abused her back. Then I was kicked out for a year with [[Wikipedia:Anger Management|Anger management]] and [[Wikipedia:Psychiatrist|psychiatrist]] assistance.

*'''Q: Why do you randomly capitalize words when you type?'''
::A: I do not type in [[Chris and hypocrisy|Caps at Random]]; I type those phrases or words in caps to EMPHASIZE MY POINT OR FACT.

*'''Q: When did you first realize that you hated the homos? Do your parents hate them as much as you do?'''
::A: I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a [[Lesbian]]." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE! And I will say this again, '''SONICHU IS STRAIGHT, YOU DUMBASS GAYWADS.'''

==9 January 2010==

*'''Q: What do you think of people of different faiths other than your own (this includes [[Wikipedia:Satanism|Satanism]],[[Wikipedia:Atheism|Atheism]], [[Wikipedia:Agnosticism|Agnosticism]])'''
::A: For most other religions, I am of neutral opinion and have no objections to them whatsoever. But for ALL those of Satanism and Atheism; I do not care for those Non-Religions AT ALL. I will not discriminate the people of those Non-Religions as Individual People.

*'''Q: How do you feel about the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual community? do they deserve the same rights as anyone else?'''
::A: As individual people, they all deserve Most Rights, but GAY MARRIAGE Should be made Illegal ALL Countries; Marriage is ONLY for Straight Man/Woman couples. I stand behind that most fully.

*'''Q: How do you feel about people of different political parties, political parties spanning from Anarchism to Fascism.'''
::A: As a Moderate (of Middle, Neutral Opinion), I have nothing against the other political parties. Mainly, because even though I do have the ability to learn about them, I know not ALL of the details of them.

*'''Q: How do you feel about Drugs? Drugs such as Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigarettes, [[Alcohol]], etc.'''
::A: I STAND FULLY AGAINST [[Tobacky|Cigarettes, Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigars]] and ALL other Drugs of the sort. The only exceptions are drugs that are Prescribed to the Individual Person, as long as they are not given to anyone they were not originally prescribed to, I have no objections. And Alcohol; in Responsible, Moderate amounts, it can be good for you, yet I do not support Too Much of it, as if left unchecked, irresponsible or unassisted, too much can lead to [[6 June 2010|fights that can lead to a trip to the hospital and automobile accidents]].

*'''Q: Do you hold any distaste for any worldly culture?'''
::A: Only those who fully promote smoking or such drugs that I have just elaborated against of.

*'''Q: Are you uncomfortable about [[Chris and race|people of Color]]? do you have any tensions towards them?'''
::A: I have no discomfort or tension against people of all colors. The only exception is in my choice of Sweetheart or Mate; No Personal Offense, but she can not be Black.

*'''Q: Are you disturbed or disgusted by different types of music?''' Many people dislike [[Wikipedia:Death Metal|Death Metal]]: [http://tinyurl.com/ch2yl5 http://tinyurl.com/ch2yl5]
::A: I have agreement on some lyrics of Death Metal tracks, but the Tune, as long as it is not at loud volume, it is still good.

*'''Q: What do you think of our current president? Is he deceiving Americans as the Right Wing has expressed?'''
::A: I think [[Obama]] is doing okay, yet I disagree with his Health Plan; it is premature at the time, because we can not afford it yet. The Right Wing are [[Bob Chandler|sour]], mean people; I give no concern to them.

*'''Q: Do you think Countries such as the Soviet Union or [[CWCville|North Korea]] Are actually Communist?'''
::A: I do not know much about those countries, so I can not give a full opinion on the topic. [[Lie|Although I do hate Communism]]; they are of wrong opinions and are considerably mean.

*'''Q: How do you think the situation in Afghanistan is going? Is there anything you would do different?'''
::A: I do not have full knowledge of that situation either.

*'''Q. Would you be willing to preform oral sex on a woman?'''
::A: Yes I would.

*'''Q. You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?'''
::A: Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", IT IS FACT. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet."

*'''Q. Have you ever thought about documenting your daily life? Kind of like a reality show?'''
::A: The topic has come to mind, yet I do not feel it appropriate yet.

*'''Q. Do you eat at restaurants other than [[McDonalds]] or [[Burger King]]?'''
::A: Yes, namely [[Golden Corral]], [[Country Cookin']] and iHop.

*'''Q. Do you ever consider playing [[Guitar Hero]] on expert instead of hard?'''
::A: I have played on Expert, and it is good.

*'''Q. What do you argue about with your dad?'''
::A: A number of things; I would not know where to begin on making the list of dumb topics he comes up with.

*'''Q. Why do you want to get the original [[Power Rangers]] back together? They're 40, no longer fit the costumes, one of them is dead, and one of them went to jail for drunk driving.'''
::A: Originally, I meant ONLY to '''[[Revive Zordon]]'''; I mean PRESIDENTS, POLICE CHIEFS and such Recruiting Power Rangers and Creating Zords? Not only is it Trite and LAME, it is not as CLASSIC or Good Quality as Zordon.

*'''Q. Do your parents freak out about you playing with [[My Little Pony|girl's toys]] when you're a grown man?'''
::A: No, they do not, and I gave that up [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|long ago]].

*'''Q. What other ideas did you think of to attract women before you settled on a cardboard sign?'''
::A: Newspaper/Magazine Ads, Online Dating Sites, Video Dating Services to name a few; THEY COST MONEY.

*'''Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?'''
::A: I am [[Chris and reality|ALREADY GROWN UP]]; I am 27 Years Old, going on 28. I am a [[Chris and reality|great artist]], and I am looking forward to an Office Job.

==15 January 2010==

*'''Q: If you could change the law, how would you change it? and you said you would outlaw the [[friend zone]]? why? what happened to a woman's right to choose who she wants to be with?'''
::A: Nothing has happened in [[Women's Rights]]; the "Friend Zone" is only the LOUSIEST EXCUSE EVER to give to someone [[Megan|the woman]] deeply cares about and trusts so she could [[Chris and rape|get out of sex]] or a relationship. I do not take kindly to that Excuse at this time.

*'''Q: Do you like everything you see, so long as it doesn't have gay stuff in it?'''
::A: Non-gay stuff is acceptable, but I don't like EVERYTHING I SEE; there are some things, even straight things, that I don't like either.

*'''Q: [http://www.ratpacker.com/Images/Core_Commander.gif| If you could upload your brain into a robot body, would you? ]'''
::A: I do not think so.

*'''Q: Why aren't you sure of the five worst games you've played? You can't have enjoyed [[List of Chris's games|every game you played]].'''
::A: I just could not think of any that would total up to five.

*'''Q: If you went back to college, what would you major in? What classes would you take?'''
::A: I am not sure.

*'''Q: Why do you like the name "[[Reginald]]" so much?'''
::A: Because [[PandaHalo|a woman]] who was close to me picked it out for the son in our role-play scenario; now she's [[Chris and death|dead]], and I still miss her sometimes.

*'''Q: Did you know that nearly all male porn actors start out making gay porn? What do you think of this?'''
::A: Whatever; I do not care.

*'''Q: [[Christian Love Day|Why did you get rid of asexuality in Sonichu 10]]? Hasn't it occurred to you that some people just don't like being in romantic relationships, and are much happier single? '''
::A: It had occured to me about asexuality recently from a mailbag question, and made me think about it, and NOT being able to FEEL the Attraction is Just Sad.

*'''Q: In a recent chat, you said that if you had a chance, you would want to make being a homo illegal. Yet, in a video contemporary to the chat, you ask your fans not to leave you. How would you feel if all of your [[Gay4Sonichu|gay fans]] left you?'''
::A: I would not want them to leave; they are still fans.

*'''Q: Have you ever considered getting your own apartment? What prevents you from doing so? '''
::A: Yes I have considered it. [[Chris and money|Current financial situations]] and fear of change (a common [[Autistic]] Trait) prevents me from doing so.

*'''Q: If there were no women, and men could reproduce sexually with other men, would homosexuality still be wrong?'''
::A: ONLY if that was the case, I would say Shoot Me.

*'''Q: Why do so many of your videos have a greenish-yellow tinge?'''
::A: It's one of the flaws in recording with Sony's EyeCreate Program (a downloadable Playstation 3 Application that requires the [[PSEye|Playstation Eye Camera]]); THEY NEED TO FIX THE PROGRAM, not only of that tint from Lack Of Some Light, but the Audio/Video skips that seems to occur during recording.

*'''Q: You hate homos, but you also hate straight men for "taking all the pretty girls leaving none for you." Shouldn't you support homos, so that other men can date each other and free up girls for you?'''
::A: NO, because Homosexuality is STILL WRONG.

*'''Q: Sex isn't that big of a deal. It's fun, but you don't have to have sex to be happy. Why are you so big about sex?'''
::A: Oh, I don't know, how about being a [[Virgin with rage|Frustrated Virgin]]?!

*'''Q: Would life be better if we reproduced nonsexually, and thus didn't have a sex drive?'''
::A: That is Bull[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|c***]].

*'''Q: Since you haven't been very specific about your taste in women, who are your favorite porn stars?'''
::A: To name a few: [[Wikipedia:Jenna Jameson|Jenna Jameson]], [[Wikipedia:Daisy Marie|Daisy Marie]] and [[Wikipedia:Carmen Luvana|Carmen Luvana]].

*'''Q: Do you have any friends in the Autistic community?'''
::A: Only a few Acquaintances.

==20 January 2010==

*'''Q: Have you ever considered the possibility that you may never lose your virginity? What will you do then? How old do you think is too old to be a virgin?'''
::A: No. The next question is Non-Applicable. 40.

*'''Q: If you could have sex with one famous woman, living or historical, who would it be?'''
::A: [[Britney Spears]].

*'''Q: Why do you think [[Asperchu]] currently has 10 times as many fans as Sonichu?'''
::A: "Fans" are fickle, and so are "Fads"; the Non-True Fans will always look for the Next "Fad" until they tire of it and move on to the next "Fad". In this note, I would say that I am Possibly Retro, and [[Chris and Fashion|Retro is ALWAYS IN]].

*'''Q: Would you say your life has improved since thinking up Sonichu? Why or why not?'''
::A: [[Chris and his ego|Yes; I became famous,]] and becoming famous is not an easy task.

*'''Q: Do you know what the word "[[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite]]" means?'''
::A: "hypocrite"; an adjective; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) an UNTRUE Fan. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for a [[Asperchu|newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a '''hypocrite''' among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.

*'''Q: I noticed that you have a Marge [[Simpson]] poster on your wall. Do you find her sexually appealing and if yes why?'''
::A: That is the pin-up from a "Playboy" a few months ago. She is appealing, yes, but I am more attracted to the real-life women around us all.

*'''Q: What's with all the pictures of Rosechu with a pickle on the internet? I thought she was supposed to be ALL WOMAN?'''
::A: Rosechu IS All Woman; she transformed from a Female Raichu; those people are just being stupid jerks with such "renditions".

*'''Q: How do you expect to keep us last remaining fans by stop working on the comic pages?'''
::A: I am drawing pages every day; just be patient and have full faith, unless you want to be considered a '''hypocrite''' among True, Loyal Sonichu and Rosechu Fans.

==26 January 2010==
*'''Q: If Rosechu is a Raichu, that means she's more evolved then Sonichu, who is a Pikachu. Shouldn't she be more powerful than Sonichu and be the leader?'''
::A: Evolution makes no difference; Rosechu is equally as powerful as Sonichu; Sonichu is the main character; Rosechu has equal leadership roles, so [[Women's rights|she leads when appropriate]].

*'''Q: Why do you think you are better artist than [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec]], aside from low-resolution and his style's blockiness? Is there something wrong to have quirky and blocky drawing style?'''
::A: How about the fact that his style looks Retarded and something that [[Chris and hypocrisy|a 2-Year Old can do]]? There's nothing wrong, unless you want to be TRULY Respected as an Avid Artist and Serious Person.

*'''Q: Why is [[Flame the Sunbird]] a ripoff of Kazooie?'''
::A: Flame was NEVER taken from Kazooie; if anything, he is MORE similar to Knuckles, but with a Sunbird Form.

*'''Q: You have expressed disdain for Asperchu and Simonchu, but how do you feel about [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]]? Have you read it? If not, it would only be fair for you to do so.'''
::A: I have read Moon-Pals, and I feel that it is more like Moon-Dorks the way Sean draws and Portrays their Events so Grotesquely.

*'''Q: How many fans do you think you have? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+.'''
::A: [[Ego|1000000000+.]]

*'''Q: How many fans do you think Asperchu has? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+.'''
::A: 0-10
''Chris left this last question unanswered until 30 January.''

==30 January 2010==
*'''Q: Will you ever be able to accept criticism without being condescending or changing the subject?'''
::A: Yes.

*'''Q: Capital punishment (the Death Penalty) is legal in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Do you support the death penalty?'''
::A: [[9 February 2010|I do not support the death penalty]].

*'''Q: Could you post the letter you sent to Barack Obama on the CWCipedia?'''
::A: I am afraid I did not make a photocopy of the letter, and I had snail-mailed it weeks ago, so I can not do that.

*'''Q: You talk about how [[Asperchu]] is just a fad, but what if Sonichu is actually the fad that's starting to fade?'''
::A: I disagree.

*'''Q: If Rosechu is equal to Sonichu in power why does she need to be saved by him?'''
::A: She was caught off-guard at those times.

==1 February 2010==
*'''Q: Why do people who "[[Mailbag 49#Apparently that's reason enough|tick you off]]" [[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|deserve to die in explosions]]? Didn't Matthew say to love thy enemy?'''
::A: I never said that phrase, nor meant it in any way.

*'''Q: If you don't support the death penalty, that means you believe all life is sacred, right? Then why do you call for the deaths of gays? Is it only straight people who shouldn't get the death penalty?'''
::A: [[Death threats|All Life IS sacred]].

*'''Q: How come you become more and more like a dictator like Kim Jong Il, Hugo Chavez, or Vladimir Putin with your mailbags?'''
::A: I am NOT a Dictator. Why are you giving me an even WORSE Mislabeling than the Homosexual Mislabelings? Why do YOU have to be so bored that you have to make up NEW mislabelings to try and deface me over and over again?

*'''Q: Why did you choose to show the first black character in the series in a negative and racist light?'''
::A: That one is NOT a recurring character; the one who WILL be recurring characters are and will be like [[Jerkop|Police Officers]] like Louis Perez.

*'''Q: Why did [[Ultra Sonichu]] cure Aspergers, but did nothing for the physically challenged Rosechus in CWCville?'''
::A: Mental Problems can be cured Easier than Physical.

*'''Q: Why do you constantly edit the letters you receive? Don't you think it is insulting and rude?'''
::A: I am working on that, and Editing Less.

*'''Q: Do you like zombies? What weapon would you use to defend yourself in the zombie apocalypse? Where would you hold out?'''
::A: No, I do not like zombies. I would use a [[Megatron pistol|Gun]]. [[14 Branchland Court|Where I can]].

*'''Q: If you claim to respect your fans, why is it okay for you to "promise" to do a Sonichu page everyday, and then not keep up on that promise?'''
::A: I am [[Chris and art|drawing the pages For Real]]; Hand-to-God. I have other life problems that delay me from getting them scanned and online sooner; Shoveling Snow, [[Chores]], Earlier Bedtime and Routine Resituating.

*'''Q: Why don't you just draw [[Wild]] a new girlfriend, so you can remove [[Simonla]] like [[Evan]] asked you to? Most people have more than one relationship in their lives, so it should not be that much of a problem. Or a you so uncreative that you can not think of a new character?'''
::A: I have stated before that when ONE finds [[Boyfriend-free girl|their Match]], they KEEP Each Other; I am NOT going to separate the Couple.

==22 February 2010==
*'''Q: How come your comics art hasn't improved since 2005, do you think you've reached your limit when it's come to the art of the Sonichu comic?'''
::A: On the contrary, my [[Chris and art|drawing skills]] have improved greatly over the years, yet it may be subtle and not obvious.

*'''Q: Why do you have a bedtime when you are around 30 years old?'''
::A: Everybody needs to sleep a while to recover energy from the past day.

*'''Q: What do you think of legally blind people?'''
::A: They're okay; they are keen to their other senses, and that is admirable. I have neutral to positive opinions of the legally blind.

*'''Q: Hey, Chris, what were your favorite after-school activities when you were a kid?'''
::A: Video games and Homework.

*'''Q: Were you ever involved in sports besides being the basketball towelboy, or did you take music lessons or art classes outside of school?'''
::A: I took a lot of Physical Education classes; I did not take classes outside of school before college.

*'''Q: If you can't get your car out because of the snow, shouldn't now be the perfect time to work on updating your comic?'''
::A: I have been working on the comic the whole time, as you will see very soon.

*'''Q: What's your favorite food? Does your mom ever cook at home? If she asked you to fix dinner, what would you do?'''
::A: Macaroni and Cheese; Yes; a small meal or soup.

*'''Q: Are there any video games out right now that you really want to play, but haven't gotten a chance to yet?'''
::A: [[Fanmail Reading|The Orange Box]], [[God of War]] III and Heavy Rain.
::''Note: neither God of War III nor [[Wikipedia:Heavy Rain|Heavy Rain]] had been released when Chris answered this question.''

*'''Q: If you could change anything about yourself physically, what would you change and why?'''
::A: Weigh myself down to 180 pounds.

*'''Q: How often do you shower?'''
::A: [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|Nightly]].

*'''Q: How often do you visit with friends and family outside of the house?'''
::A: Sometimes.

*'''Q: Do you enjoy [[20 December 2009|playing with your cats]]?'''
::A: Yes.

*'''Q: Do you actually play with all the [[toys]] in your room? If not, why not donate some to children who actually will play with them?'''
::A: I do sometimes play with all my toys.

*'''Q: Do you envy Sonichu for having a wife and kids?'''
::A: No.

*'''Q: Which of the Rosechus is the sexiest in your opinion?'''
::A: The Original Rosechu.

*'''Q: If shoveling snow is that hard for you, why don't you just pay some kid $10 to shovel your driveway?'''
::A: Hard work is good for me.

*'''Q: From between Issues #0 and #8 Which Electric Hedgehog pokemon do you like least and why?'''
::A: Silvana Rosechu, because of the Troll Influences, I felt forced to let Graduon magically make her a hermaphrodite for the sake of "TRANSFORM".

*'''Q: Have any of the Sonichus and Rosechus ever considered "swinging," aka swapping sex partners for the night?'''
::A: No.

*'''Q: What are the ten worst things that have happened to you in your life?'''
::A: 1) Trolls Pestering Me Constantly. 2) [[Julie|Learning that Ohio woman was actually a 13-year old boy]]. 3) Having my accounts hacked into. 4) Clyde Cash breaking into my ORIGINAL, which hosted The Original "[[CWC's Sonichu Site!|CWC's Sonichu Site]]", Tripod Account and screwing it up Royally. 5) Being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe|The (Game & Hobby) Place]] by that S.O.B., '''[[Michael Snyder]]'''; we never saw eye-to-eye, and for [[Chris and anger|some UNCOMPREHENDIBLE Reason]], aside from that time with my Wii, He Hated Me, Period. 6) Learning of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] Website late October, 2007, followed by learning [[Lucas|TWO OF]] [[Mimms|THE TROLLS]] were old Pok'emon TCG comrades in that same League I used to go to HAD PART in the creation of that D*** E.D. Page. 7) The loss of two True and Good Women who I had friendships with, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie ([[PandaHalo]]), and [[Sarah Jackson]]. 8) Being banned from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a year. 9) Having to leave behind all of my [[Gal-pal|Girl Friends]] from High School after Graduation. 10) [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Being pinned down on the floor by a teacher, two teacher aides, the Guidance Counsoler and the Principal on the floor and having my screams and cries recorded onto audiocassete back in 4th Grade]]. [[Fail|11)]] The [[Autism]].

*'''Q: Chris, what are the good deeds you have done that earn you the right to go to heaven?'''
::A: I have done a lot of good in my life, yet I did some bad, [[Chris and remorse|most of which was accidental, unintentional or beyond my knowledge]]. To name a few good things: holding the door for many people in various places, [[Chris and Death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|honoring my promises]], [[Chris and anger|being friendly and kind in person]], [[Chris and money|donating to various causes and a lot of other good things]].

*'''Q: Why does homosexuality immediately condemn the person to hell regardless of how good they are?'''
::A: I can not say; ask a Priest or Pastor.

*'''Q: At what age did you officially become mayor of CWCville?'''
::A: 18

*'''Q: At what age will your future daughter inherit the title of mayor of CWCville?'''
::A: 13 - 18

*'''Q: You know that crystal isn't a kind of metal, right?'''
::A: I know that; cyrstal is a kind of Mineral.

*'''Q: Who came up with the "Chris Chan" nickname?'''
::A: I did; it's the first halves of my first and last names, Chris tian Chan dler, and it has a "Jackie Chan" feel to it.

*'''Q: What inspired you to create Sonichu?'''
::A: The [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD Cover Project]] for Computer Graphics during my [[Chris and english|Seinor]] Year at Manchester High; Sonic and Pikachu.

*'''Q: Even though you've created him for over a decade, did Sonichu ever helped you accomplished anything?'''
::A: Yes; see myself as a better person.

*'''Q: Why did the Wailord dropped a boulder on [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubble]]'s adoptive mother Swampert?'''
::A: the boulder was attached to that Wailord's underbelly, like Barnicles, and in its leap over Mama Swampert, the boulder detached itself.

*'''Q: Since you hate gay people so much, why do you use [[Rainbow]]s in your comics?'''
::A: I do not understand why the f*** the gays decided to use Rainbows as their symbol; that's like asking Hitler why he used the Swastika (which originally was a Lucky Symbol) for his whole mess.

*'''Q: What purpose have the [[Chaotic Combo]] served through out the whole comic?'''
::A: It's like asking why [[Sailor Moon]] needed the Sailor Soldiers of the other 8 planets; BACKUP, ADVICE and COMRADESHIP.

*'''Q: Why do you add yourself as a character?'''
::A: If it was good enough for Shinichi Watanabe in [[Excel Saga]] and Puni Puni Poemy, [[Chris and his Ego|it was good enough for me]]. But upon retrospect, I saw why it was a mistake.

==Awaiting Answers==
===From [[Mailbag 58]]===
*'''Q: What do you think of people who read both Sonichu and Asperchu? Do you think they are loyal fans?

*'''Q: Have you considered letting more comic series onto the the [[CWCipedia]]?

*'''Q: Would you date someone who loved the Xbox as much as you love [[PS3]] and hates PS3 as much as you do the [[Xbox]]?

*'''Q: If only [[slow in the minds]] could be turned into [[jerkops]], why didn't you get turned into one?

*'''Q: Why do you refuse to buy your father nice gifts and just settle for cheap candy or even nothing?

*'''Q: You say you're against the death penalty, so why is it that in your most recent comic pages you decided to kill off the Asperpedia crew?

*'''Q: Do you wish you could punish the Asperpals in real life the same way you did in your most recent comic book?

*'''Q: Why are things a fact when said by you, but an opinion when said by others?

*'''Q: What has been your greatest victory over the trolls?

*'''Q: What has been your biggest defeat at the hands of trolls?

===From [[Mailbag 59]]===
*'''Q:Why do you put Sonichu on your [[resume]] if you don't want it to be a job?

{{Mailbag}}

Chris and his ego

2011-01-05T15:44:54Z

SeventhBase:

{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]]}}

{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (English Revised Version)]], really hitting the nail on the head}}

'''Egotism''', out of all of [[Chris]]'s flaws, is the most important and self-destructive. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved children)]]

==Origins==

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his problems and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris_and_reality#Outside_of_the_comics|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, but Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for the better part of a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and people let him.

===The enablers===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A]]

{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. I was truly a miracle.|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}
Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a man that is almost thirty years old and has autism should live at home with his parents, specially when his autism is as "high functioning" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems (from emotional disorders to mental retardation) live far more independently than Chris does, whether alone, alone with supervision, or in group homes.

For children like Chris, public school special education is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===

{{Main|Chris and money}}

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a [[monthly tugboat|"monthly tugboat"]] as he calls it. Although intended for people who were unable to work, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system due to the fact that he is simply unwilling to work on anything except drawing [[Sonichu (comic)|his shitty comic]], [[Video games|playing video games]], and [[Love Quest|trying to find a girlfriend.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle—and thus his worldview—sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===

[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|two-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fanmail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris, who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' as icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgment. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion has led him to believe that he has a legion of fans; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirm it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==

[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST artist's depiction]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|Narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for]] [[Barbara|admiration]], and [[Autism|lack]] [[Chris and remorse|of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by [[PVCC|early adulthood]] and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1.has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Art|exaggerates]] [[Honor roll|achievements]] [[CADD|and]] [[Sonichu (comic)|talents]], expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]])

2.is preoccupied with fantasies of [[Sonichu|unlimited success]], [[CWCville|power]], [[Honor roll|brilliance]], [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the ground up|ideal love]]

3. believes that he or she is [[Autistic|"special"]] and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]] (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. requires excessive [[Fanbase|admiration]]

5. has a sense of [[Barbara|entitlement]], i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] [[Honor Roll|favorable]] treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., [[Cole Smithey|takes advantage of others]] to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]]

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan|feelings and needs]] [[Wallflower|of others]]

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]]}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both.[http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Manifestations==

Chris's egotism manifests itself in many ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===

[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}

{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]]}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Barbara|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a [[personal army]]:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[True and Loyal Fanbase|E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant-gratification, instant-acknowledgment, and instant-attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was waterboy.

===Persecution complex===

[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint CWC the Martyr.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still out of his hands. His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[troll]]ing, among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a quagmire of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, THAT IS MY HOUSE}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], to [[Autism|being the social outcast we all know and hate]]) thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. The man is like the [[Wikipedia:Sith|Sith]]: he only deals in absolutes. Either you're with him or you're a [[troll]]. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk—even from professionals—about the similarities between [[Asperger Syndrome]] and [[autism]], denies that there are any shortcomings in his [[Sonichu (comic)|work]], and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris- getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening [[Sonichu|his]] [[Copyright|identity]]. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start a [[CWCki|wiki]] to keep track of it all.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an animal. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===

[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a narcissist]]

{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}
Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, this attitude has transcended self-confidence and erupted into full-blown hubris: Chris is convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[Chris and art|art]] are not just competitive with his peers, but clearly superior.

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also [[Barbara|extremely sheltered]], he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing [[CWCville|elaborate fantasy worlds]]. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of [[CWCville]].

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''confirmation bias''. For example, Chris has decided [[homos]] are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most obvious when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a [[Parody#Hypocrisy|parody]], but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

===Materialism===

{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website, more than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is [[Naïve|delusional]]. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting [[money]] for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his [[tugboat]] than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud <ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]].</ref>. Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===

A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people]] through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats [[homos]], seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===

{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]]}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place).

==War against the ego==

One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the [[white knight]]s. These [[slow-in-the-minds|misguided souls]] have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]], and could do no wrong. One of the more popular [[white knight]]s, [[Vivian Gee]], became a troll when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious [[monthly tugboat]] on something useful when there are [[video games]] to buy).

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==

[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely]]

{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Mailbag 55

2011-01-05T15:44:40Z

SeventhBase:

__NOTOC__'''Mailbag 55''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] in the early hours of 4 [[February 2010]]. Due to the closure of the CWCipedia from the 8th until the 14th of February, the response to these emails has been delayed even more than usual.

Chris continues to rail against [[Asperchu]] whenever it comes up, but is that really such a surprise? Chris also gets stuck on the whole [[muscle bra]] issue, and assures us that NO ONE, EVER, IN THE ENTIRE WORLD wants to ever once see a man's bare chest, and even suggests that there should be a law forcing fat men to wear bras, and regular-sized men to wear shirts at all times.

One of the most interesting letters is one that calls out Chris for being a bad Christian, particularly for his tendency to cast [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Satanic Curses]] on his enemies to which Chris actually agrees.

==Answered==
===That's far from the only reason===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Anna Malle|Anna Malle]] <annamalle@gmail.com>

Chris, I just read your latest CWCipedia update.

A REAL MAN DOES NOT ASK OTHERS TO FIGHT HIS BATTLES FOR HIM. If you have problems with Mao, you need to arrange a meeting with him, then discuss things over and solve your differences YOURSELF, in person, non-violently.

Asking your fans to e-mail and threaten your enemy is extremely cowardly.

Drawing a comic in which you shoot your enemy is cowardly. For that matter, shooting someone who is not physically threatening you is extremely cowardly.

Women HATE cowards. Women want to feel protected and safe. If you can't even protect your website, how are you going to protect your woman?

That is why you can't get a woman. Because you are a COWARD and a LIAR.

Right now, no woman in the world would find you attractive.

I beg you to prove me wrong. Show me that you can act like a man and solve your own problems without violence, but by using your intellect. If you can do that, I will consider driving to Ruckersville and meeting you and your parents at your home and making myself available for a date.

Sincerely,

Anna}}
{{EmailReply|If I knew where my foes lived, I would go there myself, but I do not know where they live specifically with a Street Address. I am not a coward, and I keep my lies to a Minimum. I'll bet YOU are the cowardly one. For All I know, you are likely to be a cowardly Male pretending to be a woman and trying to tick me off. Nice try.}}

===On the afterlife===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Dale Gribble|Rusty Shackleford]] <rustymcshackleford@live.com>

Dearest Christian,

We all know that you are very religious, but I have a question to ask you. What do you think that Heaven and Hell are like? Do you think that in Heaven people wear flowing robe and fly around all day? Do you think that Hell is fiery and everyone there is being poked in the rear by Satan. I would just really love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks,

Rusty}}
{{EmailReply|You've just answered your own question; I am in agreement with you on what heaven and hell are like.}}

===Porn doesn't count===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Charles Aznavour|Charles Aznavour]] <Sazaku@aol.com>

Dear Christian,

I've been a reader of both your Sonichu and your (arguably far superior) sister series Asperchu for a long time now. However, I can't stand your weak, naive way of handling things. You take forever to update your comics when they are SUPPOSED to be daily, when you do post comic pages they are ridiculously anti-climactic. Honestly, I'd think the fight between Mary Lee Walsh and Chris would be far more exciting and epic, considering how much you have villified her. See, things like that are why Asperchu is more popular.

On another note, I am curious to know, since your B-Day will be coming up in a couple weeks, what you plan on doing. Frankly, I'm impressed. If I were still a virgin at 30 I'd have killed myself by now. There is no worse torment for a man. Hell, its pathetic enough to still be a virgin at TWENTY! You're a real trooper to still have never seen a vagina. On you're B-Day, I hope to wish you a happy 30th!}}
{{EmailReply|Asperchu is NOT MINE, and I do not care to have any claim on it at all; Asperchu belongs to Alec Benson Leary. Real Life happens; I have [[chores]] around the house, errands to run and whatnot to deal with. I am going to be 28, Twenty Eight, Years Old this year. I have seen a lot of pussy in porn, for your information. And what I do on my birthday is between me, my family and my friends.}}

===No you won't===
{{Email|From: wizfisher1@aol.com

Chris, you claim you have taken many art classes. You claim you understand composition, shading and perspective. You claim you draw like a retarded 7 year old to make a artistic statement, and you really are a artistic genius. Well its time to prove you are the artist you claim to be.I challenge you to create a drawing that is conventionally good, that shows you can draw as well as a professional artist if you want to. Any medium will do, except markers, as long as its good and not in your "retarded 7 year old" style. Please post your proof on your front page for everyone to see. }}
{{EmailReply|I will consider that.}}

===Wait, what?===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Robert Neville|Robert Neville]] <theassburgers@hotmail.co.uk>

You're a bad Christian. Any good Christian would know that Jesus lived his life in order to teach humankind to love one another and to always turn the other cheek when somebody hurts us. No matter what that person may do to us, we - as Christians - are supposed to be able to forgive and to forget. Even when the Romans had Jesus nailed to the cross, bleeding profusely after merciless torture, he begged for God to forgive them, for they knew not what they had done!

You completely ignore this and continue to practise your Satanic rituals by placing curses upon your victims! You are an [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|open practicioner of witchcraft]], which you should know is condemned by Christianity due to its evil origins and purposes.

I implore you to be a better follower of the Christian faith. Instead of making these people suffer your wrath, one of the deadly sins, you should forgive them as Jesus would.

Remember -

"And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us"}}
{{EmailReply|You are right.}}

===On brassieres===
{{Email|From: Jay Hugebicep <brohotti@hotmail.com>
Chris, your site and your shenanigans always brighten up my day. But what's up with wearing a bra? Come on, you're a man, right? When was the last time you went to the beach? Girls like chiseled pecs and six pack abs, Chris, not buddha bellies and manboobs. One is a sign of health and strength, the other is a sign of weakness and laziness. If you want to attract potential sweethearts, you have to improve your looks.

Start with some pushups and lose the breasts. I saw that video where you tried to do 30 pushups and I was laughing so hard because you couldn't even do one properly.

Here is a video demonstrating the proper way to do a pushup.
{{#ev:youtube|Km1v-jbeNsw}}

I reccommend you start out with the modified pushup shown that the woman used, because you probably aren't strong enough to do regular ones. Try five pushups three times a day for a week, then up it by two every week after until you're fit enough to handle a regular pushup.

Guarantee you'll ditch the bra in a month.}}
{{EmailReply|[[Sports bra photo series|Yes, I do wear a bra]], I am a size 42. A LOT of Men in this world, fat, average or slender, have Man-Boobs. And NO ONE EVER WANTS TO SEE ANY MALE CHEST IN PUBLIC. IT IS VERY GROSS. I would motion with [[Barack Obama|the President]] to make it Mandetory for all men with boobs to wear a bra, and for all other males to Wear A Shirt when they go out jogging, swimming or exercising where those people would have USED TO NOT wear a shirt. As with Women, SOME THINGS ARE LEFT BETTER AS A MYSTERY.}}

===On uploading===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, as of my writing, you have failed to upload one comic per day for the past five days.

Drawing the page does not count. You must upload it for it to count as an update.

And if you want to please Alec, you can remove the part of Episode 21 that involves Asperchu and agree to remove Simonla in a way that pleases Evan. You can use the reboot to replace her with another character altogether.}}
{{EmailReply|All that is being taken under great consideration. Thank you.}}

===Draconian fun!===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:I Am Legend (novel)|Robert Neville]] <theassburgers@hotmail.co.uk>

If you were some kind of 'Great Director' in real life, and had the ability to create new laws without them having to be approved by the government and its people (much like Hitler was able to do in the 1930's and early 1940's), what new laws would you create?

Let's aim for, say... 5 or 10 laws. Heck, go for more if you can think up that many. Remember - you can make absolutely any law you want.}}
{{EmailReply|Fair enough. 1) NO [[tobacky|SMOKING]] ALLOWED AT ALL. 2) Men are required to wear a shirt and/or a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]] at all times in public (No One EVER wants to see a dude's chest, and some things are better left a mystery). 3) ALL Women who are committed with their own boyfriend, regardless of marriage or not, will be required to wear a non-flashy BF/GF Ring at all times. That's all I have for now.}}

===The most appropriate answer ever===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Dr. Tran|Dr. Tran]]

"I have stated before that when ONE finds their Match, they KEEP Each Other; I am NOT going to separate the Couple."

One, that's not how it works in real life.

Two, they do NOT match. You yourself have stated that they are OPPOSITES. Why not use the reboot to make it so she never existed, then replace her with a Grass-type Rosechu? People who have things in common get along better than people who don't.

Also, relationships do not work that way. You don't get dreams that tell you who you're supposed to bone to create whom, you have to figure it out for yourself.}}
{{EmailReply|What is YOUR Dream Career?}}

===Yeah, polls suck===
{{Email|From: Leeland

"I have read Moon-Pals, and I feel that it is more like Moon-Dorks the way Sean draws and Portrays their Events so Grotesquely. "

It's still funnier and better drawn than Sonichu. Also, it's fanbase is roughly eight times the size of your own, according to polls.}}
{{EmailReply|I pay no attention to polls.}}

===Chris the jackass===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:John Shaft|John Shaft]] <[[Wikipedia:Blaxploitation|blaxploitation]]x@gmail.com>
Hey Chris,

Recently when someone has called you out on being lazy or mean or a hypocrite in the mailbag, you say that if we knew you in person, we'd like you. I don't get it, so I'd like it if you'd clear some things up for me and your fans;

1. Why do you act like a jackass on the internet and then whine about how nobody really understands you? What do you expect us to think about you after all your bullshit?

2. How do you act different in real life?

3. Don't you think you should just try to be nicer online instead of waste people's time?

I'm sorry but I don't buy this "you just don't know the real me" crap. Some trolls actually have met you face-to-face, and they claim that you're pretty much the same self-absorbed, obnoxious prick you are on the internet. If you can show us the kind, loving, gentleman you claim to be, the trollings would most likely cease and your former fans would come back to you. I apologize if you take offense to any of this, but that isn't really my problem anymore.

Sincerely,

John Shaft}}
{{EmailReply|1) How would you feel if you were mistreated as much as I have online? And you do NOT know me in real life, so you can NOT understand me fully. 2) I am nicer, more kind and all-around humble, good gentleman. 3) Yes.}}

===Man the harpoons!===
{{Email|From: [http://www.youtube.com/user/HarryPartridge Harry Partridge]
Hey Chris,

Have you considered dating a really fat girl? They give it up easy as fuck, I should know. I've nailed some fatties before and I look like shit.

Love Harry}}
{{EmailReply|I only go up to a certain limit, like I would very rarely date a woman who weighed more than 250 lbs.}}
''A woman who was anywhere near 250 lbs (114 kg) would be severely obese.''

{{Mailbag}}

Father Call

2011-01-05T15:44:27Z

SeventhBase:

[[Image:Matthew_Devoria.jpg|thumb|Artist's interpretation of Matthew Devoria.]]

Early in [[November 2009]], [[Chris|Solid Chris]] spent a little over two hours on the phone one night with '''Matthew Devoria''' (born 1957), father of his would-be [[sweetheart]] [[Kacey]]. Matthew is a retired [[Wikipedia:United States Marine Corps|U.S. Marine]] who served in the [[Wikipedia:Gulf War|Gulf War]].

Chris uses the opportunity of speaking to the father of a heartsweet by boasting of his now legendary [[honest content|honesty]], before going on to [[lie]] his ass off about any topic you care to mention.

Their conversation is illuminating. This is probably the most blunt assessment of himself and his place in the world that Chris has ever directly received: Matthew berates Chris for his [[Monthly tugboat|laziness]], [[Chris and death|lack of empathy]], inability to grow up, [[chris and health|unhealthy lifestyle]], rotund figure, and general failure at life. It is unlikely that Chris will take any of Matt and Kacey's advice to heart, as he retorts by saying that he leads a [[lie|hard life]], which includes such laborious tasks as doing [[:Image:Gibson.jpg|menial chores]], mowing the lawn, which he uses a [[CWC Fighter|riding lawn mower]] to do, and [[Tour of Chris's House|cleaning the house]]. He also claims to be [[I AM STRONG|strong]] and that he [[Guitar Hero|exercises]] [[Mass debating|regularly]], as well as eating healthy by going to [[McDonald's]] only once per week and [[Homo|shoving vegetables down his throat]].

After being confronted with the truth that he uses the [[trolls]] and his [[autism]] as a crutch, [[stress]] overcame him and Chris became increasingly more [[chris and anger|upset]]. In general, Chris's attitude and immaturity greatly offended Kacey and her father, causing her to rethink her decision and go back to [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid]].

Chris recorded his [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5 November video]] as a follow-up to this conversation, hoping to repair his relationship with Kacey. He then had another [[Kacey and Liquid Call|phone conversation with Kacey]], which ended equally poorly.

==Transcript==
===Matthew makes the scene===
[[Image:Md.PNG|thumb|Chris's drawing of Kacey's father (from [[Sonichu Special 4]]).]]

'''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, how are you?

'''Kacey:''' Um, I'm cool, um, I'm over at my parents' house cause, um, they wanted to call 'cause they saw some of your videos and I gave them the letter...

'''Chris:''' Okay, all right. Actually, I'm uploading a [[11042009 51 50|video]] now, I did 51 reps with, uh, fifty-pound weights...not really weights, but...

'''Kacey:''' You did 51 reps or 51 times? 'Cause reps are different.

'''Chris:''' You know, lifted them up, 51 times, lifted them up with each arm. 51 times each arm, so 102.

'''Kacey:''' Hm. Well, was it hard?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it was hard, but it was a show of strength anyway.

'''Kacey:''' Um, that's funny, 'cause I have to lift, like...100 or more pounds for my job but, um, let me go ahead and get my dad, because he wants to talk to you.

'''Chris:''' Uh, okay, what's his name? ...Okay.

'''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, it's Matthew.

'''Chris:''' Matthew? Okay.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' All right.

'''Kacey:''' All right well just give me a minute.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

[''Pause'']

'''Dad:''' Hello, Chris. This is ''Matthew'', Kacey's father.

'''Chris:''' Hello, s- good evening, sir, how are you?

'''Dad:''' I'm good, thank you. How are you?

'''Chris:''' I'm doing good.

'''Dad:''' Good, good... So, uh... So, I've got a couple of questions for you... Well, more than a couple.

'''Chris:''' That's fine, that's fine, I'm happy to oblige with an an- with an [[honest content|honest]] answer.

'''Dad:''' Okay, well uh, first and foremost, let's see... You got a job, son?

'''Chris:''' Not currently, but [[Chris's resume|I am working towards getting a job]]. I have been filling out applications left and right.

'''Dad:''' Really, really, what kind of places? What kind of skills you got?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, w- yeah, I'm looking a- I'm applying for, like, uh- retail stores and such, I've got an application for a new CVS in [[Ruckersville]], and uh, one over at [[Wal-Mart]], and had one over at [[Target]]... I have worked before, I've worked at [[Wendy's]] in Ruckersville for a few months... First off, I worked off as a sales representative for [[Cutco]] cutlery.

'''Dad:''' Right, that's minimum wage stuff... Did you go to college or something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|I went to college]] and, uh, got a degree and a certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Graphic and Design]].

'''Dad:''' And you're working at...''Target''... I mean, I know the economy's bad, but I mean...surely, you've gotta, you know, use that somehow, right? ...How old are you again?

'''Chris:''' I'm 27...sir.

'''Dad:''' You're almost ''thirty'' and you're working at, uh...''Target''. You wanna work at Target, I should say.

'''Chris:''' Hm...yeah, well, not really sure what kind of jobs my, uh...degree and certificate would get me, but I mean, like, you know... but I mean, if I- if I did know, then I'd certainly strike up on the job...

'''Dad:''' You got a degree not knowing what kind of jobs you could get...in that field, and you've had it for how long? When did you graduate?

'''Chris:''' Uh... I graduated in 2006.

'''Dad:''' 2006, so you've had it for three years and you have done nothing with it... Hm, you haven't had any jobs between then?

===Pokémon volunteer and Chris's home===
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I had- I did- I have done volunteer work... Uh...

'''Dad:''' That doesn't pay, though. Although, what kind? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Dad:''' What kind of volunteer work? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' All right, yeah, well, I have the- I helped the children over at the [[The GAMe PLACe|Citizens' Gym League]] for the ''[[Pokémon]] Trading Card Game'' league a few years back...

'''Dad:''' ''Pokémon''? Wait, wait, that...

'''Chris:''' You know, teach them how to play, build decks from what scraps they had, make sure they kept in order, don't get too crazy...

'''Dad:''' And...how long ago was this?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what was that?

'''Dad:''' How long ago was this? I mean, wasn't that ''Pokémon'' thing, wasn't that back in [[1990s|the 90s]] when that was really popular? Because I think my youngest daughter used to like that, but you know, that was years ago.

'''Chris:''' That was the late 90s.

'''Dad:''' LATE 90s.

'''Chris:''' And- um- that's still going strong. Maybe I-

'''Dad:''' If you say so.

'''Chris:''' ...And I have been doing that from 1998 'till about 2008. So about ten years I've been doing that.

'''Dad:''' Right. You've been playing a children's card game for ten years.

'''Chris:''' ...Yeah, but also, like, as you know, like, a form of babysitting.

'''Dad:''' Babysitting...but doesn't babysitting usually, you know, pay? And, I mean, that doesn't sound like you're volunteering. When I think volunteering work, I think like, you know, Red Cross, that kind of thing. You know, actually going out and really helping people, planting trees, that kind of stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have- I have been- I have helped people out. You know, I, uh, helped, like, the parents mind...knowing their children were in a safe environment and I helped ensure children were playing and were within the safe environment and that nothing was to go wrong and, uh, and I was respected as an authoritative figure in that sense.

'''Dad:''' And...but...are you still doing this? I mean, or what are you doing right now? If you stopped, why aren't you doing this anymore?

'''Chris:''' Ummm...yeah, I was kinda like, uh, you know, uh, not so good at showing up, so it was like my choice on ending that, you know. But yeah, it was kind of a sad day for me, you know, to have to put that behind me, but, you know, we gotta move on. But anyway, aside from that, I...I've been searching and, uh, doing yardwork for my family and other sorts of...heavy lifting.

'''Dad:''' Right, right... Well, anyways, I'm done talking about, uh, ''Pok-e-man'' now. I got a couple more. So, uh, what kind of place you got, you got a place of your own? Where you living at?

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I'm currently living in a [[14 Branchland Court|two-story house]] with my [[mother]] and my [[father]].

'''Dad:''' Living with your parents, age 30. Got it. [''Chris tries to interrupt.''] ''Almost'' 30, excuse me.

'''Chris:''' Well, uh, I hope that, uh, doesn't strike you in a bad thing, but it's like, uh, I just did not feel comfortable leaving the safety of my home with the, uh, for a while.

'''Dad:''' And, uh, why is that exactly?

'''Chris:''' 'Cause I could not really, I just did not feel, you know, like I was ready for a place of my own just yet.

'''Dad:''' You gotta leave somehow, you've gotta leave at some point. I think most of my kids will, you know, move out 18, 20... I'm okay if they hang out while they're in college, but after that they gotta start looking for a place of their own, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah...yeah. But, you know, to each their own individual growth rates.

'''Dad:''' Right, but, but uh, I just gotta ask, though... I mean, you're really serious about Kacey, are you not?

'''Chris:'''Yes, yes, I am serious about Kacey.

'''Dad:''' Okay so...uh-

'''Chris:''' And with her help, I feel like I could get a good start on being able to, uh, you know, shortly, in the near future, move out of my- of the house.

'''Dad:''' ...With her help?

'''Chris:''' ...And get a place of my own...

'''Dad:''' You need her help to support both of you?

'''Chris:''' [''floundering''] It's more like, you know...um... Some details I'm not understand... I talk to my parents sometimes about that, but it's like, uh, you know...uh...I...it's like a...whole bunch of details...you know...yeah.

'''Dad:''' EXPLAIN, PLEASE. I don't know what these details are.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, I'm still, like, uh, I would need external influence, somebody outside the house to help me feel more comfortable in moving out.

'''Dad:''' You could, you know, people are always looking for roommates, just go to any college board.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...but still, I mean, that's not...

'''Dad:''' That's not really an excuse.

'''Chris:''' That's not something I would feel comfortable with, since, uh, I haven't been to college for a few years, you know.

'''Dad:''' So, really, if you can't support my daughter, my daughter needs a man, a MAN to support her.

'''Chris:''' I am a man, sir.

===Financial Situation and Crystal the 'Tard-baby===
'''Dad:''' How serious are you about my daughter?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Dad:''' How serious are you about my daughter? Really. If you aren't even willing to support yourself.

'''Chris:''' I am willing, I am able to support myself as well. I'm able to support myself. And I will be able to support your daughter as well.

'''Dad:''' Okay, then why aren't you? Where's the money gonna come from?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I do have, I do have a [[Monthly tugboat|monthly income]].

'''Dad:''' Do you now?

'''Chris:''' I get, yeah, I get it from the government. My family is a little bit in with the government.

'''Dad:''' So why do you get welfare? Might I ask? Or whatever you call it.

'''Chris:''' You can call it, like, you know, a stepping-stone in the right direction of me moving out and all that, but seriously, though, I am very strong-willed, and I feel that I could, I would be able to take care of Kacey.

'''Dad:''' You're avoiding my question. Why are you on, I think it's actually called Social Security. Why do you get it? I mean, I'm a pretty strong Republican, we don't really like that whole welfare thing. We work, and if we can't work, we go join the military. That's what I did.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I understand that. You see, I'm [[Autism|high-functionally autistic]].

'''Dad:''' Are you now?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was diagnosed with that at a young age, and I was, I still have [''brief disconnection''] just a few years ago.

'''Dad:''' So, ah...isn't that [[autism]] thing, it's like a, you're not, like, ''retarded'', are you?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, not really, what?

'''Dad:''' I'm just saying, you know, that's a genetic thing, right? I don't want any, if you're really going to get with my daughter, I don't want 'tard-babies.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, autism is not genetic.

'''Dad:''' Ah, I think I read somewhere that it was, actually. I'm pretty sure I did.

'''Chris:''' No, no, it's a myth. That's a myth.

'''Dad:''' A myth. A myth.

'''Chris:''' Autism is not genetic. You're not gonna have, there would be no retarded grandchildren on your part. I can guar... I can promise you that.

'''Dad:''' If you say so. If you really say so. I'm looking this stuff up right now. My Kacey, she's in medicine, she knows this stuff, she's an expert.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, like, you know, it might be also...

'''Dad:''' Actually, hold on, she's right over here. Hey, Kacey, what do you know about autism? Is that genetic?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it's definitely genetic. It usually runs in the mother's line but it can be in the father's as well. But it's usually the mother's. And twins have a much higher chance.

'''Chris:''' [''In a relatively quiet sigh''] Great.

'''Kacey:''' Anything else, Dad?

'''Dad:''' Ah...no, I think that's good, yeah, you go... What were you doing again?

'''Kacey:''' I need to go finish washing the dishes. I'll be right back, Dad.

'''Dad:''' I think there's some cake down there, too. Go help yourself or something.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, sweet! Thanks, Dad.

'''Dad:''' Anyways, where was I? Let's see... If you really want a kid with my Kacey, I think you'd probably be best if you adopted or something. That's a good thing, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, in my case, I would not, I do not, I would not care to adopt. You see, I have a dream, I have my dream, and that dream is to give birth, to have, to share a daughter with my wife-to-be, and her name would be [[Crystal]].

'''Dad:''' A dream...as in, you were asleep and you saw something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Plus, in the dream, I had, like, an office job.

'''Dad:''' An office job. Right.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Dad:''' You know, I don't think, Kacey actually doesn't really like that name. You know, it's kind of a stripper name, Cri-STAL, it's kinda like Cristal, that champagne...

'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, it would not, it would not, it would not be Cri-STAL, it would be Cri-STUL. Does that make sense?

'''Dad:''' It's still pretty close.

'''Chris:''' It's fairly, it does sound close, but it's not, you're not, you're just replacing the C-R-I-S-T-L-E, you're replacing the L-E with an A-L.

'''Dad:''' Yeah, but even so...you said this all came to you in a dream...dreams, they don't pay the bills. It's just a dream. That's all just from your head. I had a dream once where, you know, I was flying. You don't see me doing that.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, okay, but I mean, it's like in, yeah. Flying, yeah, you're definitely not going to be able to fly on your own. Sure. But it's like, you know, when you see a dream that's actually reasonable, that you can actually picture yourself doing in the future while you're awake. You know? It's like a career thing. You know, it's like, yeah, you definitely, it's like, you know, when your child, there's a chance you could become a cowboy if you dreamed of being a cowboy. But, you know, that may not be, that may seem kind of far-fetched, if you're living in a place that's not near or in Texas, but if you're like, if you dreamed you want, if you want, if you dreamed you wanted to be, to become a teacher, that's more likely, that's more likely possible. You can get the degree and become a teacher.

'''Dad:''' So? If you want to go do it, be a teacher, go to work in an office, GO WORK IN AN OFFICE! Go apply to an office. Don't dream about it, dreams do nothing for you, they don't pay the bills.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I am taking, I have been, I have been working on that, and I have been taking action on looking for good jobs. Definitely looking in office jobs.

===Prophetic dreams and Bob Chandler===
'''Dad:''' You think you have some kind of powers of prophecy? That doesn't seem very, I don't know, to me it doesn't seem very Godly, you know.

'''Chris:''' No, ah, ah, ah, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that I'm a prophet. I'm not saying that. But, you know, it's definitely something that, you know, it's definitely something that I feel that God has promised to me and [[Chris and religion|I believe in God]], I go to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] every Sunday, and like, like in...

'''Dad:''' That sounds like being a prophet to me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you do, yeah, there are prophets that are mentioned in the Bible.

'''Dad:''' Yes, but.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not, I, but, I am not saying that I am a prophet. Not saying that.

'''Dad:''' Son, I go to church every Sunday too, and I've never had any kind of dreams of anything telling me that something is going to happen. God doesn't do that. God doesn't tell you things like that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you never know, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, it'll just, it depends on the people, you know? You never know it, but you know, you might actually have gotten a message in a dream that may have actually [''brief interruption''] but you might, you might not have caught on as quickly, or...and I do not mean to insult you, but, ah, yeah, right now, conflicted by, you know, retrospect, you might actually realize that could have been a message from God.

'''Dad:''' Naaaah... if you think you see the future, that sounds like you're trying to be a prophet. That doesn't really sound religious, that just sounds like some [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|mumbo-jumbo]] to me.

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying that it is the definite future, but that it is a POSSIBLE future. And I am looking-and I am looking to make that happen.

'''Dad:''' Well, MAKE it happen.

'''Chris:''' I am going to.

'''Dad:''' Do it. And if it's not a message from god, you should go out, you should do it. Why don't you go- don't wait for it, it sounds like you're just sitting around waiting for it. When did you have this dream, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I pretty much, I pretty much had it when I was between seven and nine years old-

'''Dad:''' Seven-wh-TWENTY YEARS AGO? Excuse me? And nothing has happened between then and now?

'''Chris:''' ''[floundering]'' I was definitely, like, in my [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school years]]...

'''Dad:''' And you hold onto this dream...I mean, you're almost thirty, you're, you know...time is gonna start working against you, you know? I mean, life is short.

'''Chris:''' Yes, it is.

'''Dad:''' And you're living with your parents. I mean, what do you do all day, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I get creative by uh, I like to [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|draw and color]]. And uh, sometimes I like to [[Masturbate|create]] with my hands, you know, I [[Medallions of Fail|sculpt]]. And, uh even as far as, you know, just tinkering with, [[Sex toys|anything]] I like tinkering with. I even have-I am even [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|technologically smart]]. I even took a [[computer]] upgrading class where I put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch.

'''Dad:''' So...why aren't you working building computers or something? It sounds like something you could do.

'''Chris:''' [''ignoring this fairly good point''] Hm, yeah, it is. Hm. Well I pretty much did get started on the techno-savvy, I would say, from my father. He's a retired technical engineer, he worked for GE for a number of years, he also, uh, was in the, well he was stationed over in Korea in the Signal Corps. He-he designed the controls for the plastic auto machines for his other achievements. So without him we would not have the plastic for, at the very least, your soda bottles.

'''Dad:''' That's all fine and good, I mean, your father...but I'm not talking about your father, I'm talking about you.

'''Chris:''' I'm just pointing it out as hinting at my technological influence.

'''Dad:''' But...you haven't done anything, unlike your father. That's what I'm getting here. I mean, that's not good, son. When I was 27 I already had a wife and kids, I was working 40 hours a week.

'''Chris:''' Hmm...umm...yes, well, my father didn't marry-my father did not marry the first time till he was 30 himself.

'''Dad:''' Yeah but you know, he probably also had a job and was living on his own, and he was also in the military, like me. So I don't really care about what your father did, because that's what he did, that's not what you did.

'''Chris:''' I understand-I understand th-I understand what you're talk-I understand...talking about...and, you know, and your point.

'''Dad:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I make a, I am trying to make a valid point myself. I feel like that, you know, we both are definitely understanding each other.
===Kacey's boobs and Internet fame===
'''Dad:''' Really? I must say, I'm not really impressed, but, uh, let's move on. Let's talk a little bit about what you think about my lovely daughter. What was the first thing you liked or noticed about Kacey?

'''Chris:''' I noticed her beautiful face.

'''Dad:''' Her beautiful face.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And her blue-green eyes are like a pair of swimming pools that I would just like to swim around and bathe myself in.

'''Dad:''' ''[laughs]'' So the first thing you noticed was her appearance.

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] But also I definitely like to take note over time, over talking to her, one day that she was very smart and very fun to hang around with, and she definitely knows what she's talking about. If anything [''laughs''] she could be a little bit sm-[[Ego|she could be smarter than me on some things]].

'''Dad:''' But still, the first thing that, uh, you noticed, was her appearance. So, were you looking for like a trophy wife or something? It's kind of funny...

'''Chris:''' [''stuttering''] The first thing I noticed about her in person, when we talked first, you know, between phone calls and e-mails, after kind of an indirect meeting there, but anyway. I actually learned first that she was smart and very delightful to talk to. And then after a while, she and I met in person, and then I got to appreciate her face. And the-the smart, charming wit behind it.

'''Dad:''' This doesn't really add up to what Kacey told me, you know. The impressions I got from what she said about your first little..."encounter," we'll call it...she said she was a little bit...uncomfortable around you, you know? And apparently [[Kacey Phone Call|when you first talked to her, you actually were pretending to be somebody else]], actually. You know, [[Liquid Chris|that other Chris]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well he was, that was another thing. Yeah. All right, yeah.

'''Dad:''' She didn't like that much.

'''Chris:''' My friend Kim, she helped me, uh, get into that Chris's e-mail account. Before I ever learned about Kacey-

'''Dad:''' You know, that Chris was her boyfriend at the time, you know? I mean, I've actually talked to that guy and met him in person, he's actually a pretty nice kid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but if you watch his [[YouTube]] videos he does get a little crazy. But anyway for the past few months now...he was, you know, he was pretending to be me, and a few months ago, he pretends, or I'm assuming he pretends, that he gets kidnapped and tied up, and sent to the desert. And then Kacey tells me that cops ''[incomprehensible]'' in the desert, but I'm going off track here-

'''Dad:''' That just doesn't make any sense to me. Why would he pretend to be you? Someone like you, guy who lives with his parents.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Okay, first off, I'm Internet famous for being the original creator of the, uh...it's like a combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and Pikachu [''Kacey's Dad groans''], so I was the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. And I created him on March 17, [[2000]], and I drew the [[comic]] books...I originally started that back in 2000, and I've drawn a few books and I'm still doing some drawing, I don't like to leave an unfinished project finished. But-

'''Dad:''' [''Has been trying to interrupt for the last 30 seconds''] Okay, so...you know, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about? I barely know what Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokémon is other than it's kids' stuff. So basically what I'm getting here is you took two kids' things and put them together, you know, two [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] kids' things...

'''Chris:''' But it's making up a whole new character, and my father has the knowledge with the [[copyrights]] and whatnot, and he verifies for me that I have been in the clear the whole time, from the beginning, to uh, to continue on with Sonichu being m-Sonichu and Rosechu being my original creation. And I create the original stories and everything, and the books, and I've done the [[CWCipedia]], which was originally on the CWC Sonichu site speaking of which, CWC is my name, Christian Weston Chandler. Anyway, I've been going on with that since 2000, uh-

'''Dad:''' Which means you were 18 when you made this. You were what, a senior in high school? You were playing with kids' stuff? And that's what you've been doing for...what, you know, since then? You're 27 years old? You're playing with kids' stuff? I mean, like, little kids' stuff. I mean, like, ten-year-olds.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, it may sound like that, but in a sense, it was definitely a fad that I was, uh, enjoying, and, uh-

'''Dad:''' But fads, they come and go.

'''Chris:''' -until when I had to like, uh, which was just a year and a half ago, I had to let that go, and I let that go a year and a half ago. But anyway, getting back to, uh...

'''Dad:''' You said it was popular, still. But you're not making any money off it. You're just doing this while you sit around in your parents' house for no real reason, because like I said, you're not making any money off this, and you still wanna be a boyfriend.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it is a thing I’m doing to make money off of, I could be, it is a thing that I am working on starting to make money off of, I am in talks with the com- comic book company, as well as Nintendo of America, about, uh, you know, about possibly, about the likelihood of me being able to, uh, of, uh, us getting together... making money off of this, cuz, obviously, since 2000 it became more and more popular on the, uh, Internet, and I became Internet famous and, uh, along with a bunch of the fans like that, I was, ah...

'''Dad:''' Don’t you... don’t you need permission from both [[SEGA]], and [[Nintendo]]? I mean, is that, Sonic is from Sega, right? I mean, I know a little bit about what my daughter was… my little daughter used to talk about... I kinda know what a Sega is, I think.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I have talked to Sega as well, but anyway, getting back to, anyway, getting back to, if I may finish... yeah. Anyway, yeah, I got Internet famous, I got the fans, and then I got the naysayers which were the Internet bullies and trolls... and, uh... and uh, that Chris, and uh, Chris over there, was uh, he was one of them, and uh before, and this is, uh before I met Kacey he uh, he started pretending to be me, on the, in YouTube videos. And, uh...

'''Dad:''' This... okay, I’m sorry, this is just getting completely ridiculous, all this Internet, I mean you just, all this Internet stuff, I don’t, I don’t know much about computers, but I mean, that’s just... this sounds like just a whole waste of time, that I don’t care about, because it doesn’t pay the bills, and it DOES NOT help support Ka- my Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I- I- I understand that.

===Twin Falling Towers and getting fired===
'''Dad:''' I mean, I was in the MILITARY. I was DOING something. I fought in Desert STORM. I fought against Saddam HUSSEIN.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... okay... you fought in Desert Storm, you fought against Saddam... that’s all good, that’s very good. That’s honorable. That is honorable.

'''Dad:''' But... and then what- and then YOU, you made this... Son-ni-chu thing. I mean... it’s like... ah, this is, something’s, something’s not right here, you know? But, but, but since you did bring up Youtube, I got, I got kind of an interesting little thing... that I noticed, in one of your recent videos, heh. I mean, I don’t know what exactly you were thinking, with this, um... you know, you did [[Twin Falling Towers|that video with the, ah... 9/11]]. I can’t say I really enjoyed that too much. I mean... that kinda hits... that kinda hits close to home to me, you know, I mean...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I, yeah, I realize, I realize that now, and I have received the complaints so, yeah that’s why I have... I put that...

'''Dad:'''You’re lucky I don’t... you’re lucky I don’t have a Youtube, son. I mean, my... I mean, that hits close to home to me. My MOTHER, Kacey’s grandmother... y’know, she DIED on 9/11.

'''Chris:''' I, um... I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, and I, uh, I mean, it’s like, I did not mean to hit that, hit that fragile emotion, ah, it was originally, ah, a thing, against a longer, worser- worser Internet [[troll]], who goes by the name of [[Clyde Cash]], whose alias is [[Gregg Mays]], and...

'''Dad:''' You made a video...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that’s just a whole nother story, right there. Anyway, I had...

'''Dad:''' You made a video, basically, just trying to, trying to mess with some... GUY... on the Internet... that makes fun of one of the greatest American tragedies of our lifetime- no, THE Amer- greatest American tragedy of our lifetime.

'''Chris:''' Mm... yes, but, yeah but this guy, uh, he’s done a lot, he’s done a lot of things against me, yeah, on the Internet, trying to... you know... y-yeah, trying to destroy my good name with, uh, a whole bunch of twisted tru- told a whole bunch of twisted truths and phrases, and, words, and, I- that I have said, he just twist them around to- in evil ways and just, like some, and just, try- he’s one of those that just- and trying to slander my good name... And, uh, worse off, and worse off, and worse off, and worse off...

'''Dad:''' Okay, let me ask you... let me ask you something. Where were you, on 9/11? I mean, they say everybody remembers where they were on 9/11 when they heard that those towers were going down, when a plane had hit those towers, and THOUSANDS of people DIED.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I do remember where I was on, uh, 9/11, yeah, I was a, I had just, uh, I was just, uh, let go, from uh, my job at, uh, Wendy’s, it was uh, for, there was some differences between me and my employer, you know, I... [''trails off with a faint groan''] Yeah, but anyway,

'''Dad:''' Would you like to know where Kacey was? Would you like to know where Kacey was?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, okay, well, if I may finish, if I may finish, yeah, I was-

'''Dad:''' No. No, I’m sorry. No, no, Kacey was AT Ground Zero. She was giving BLOOD, and plasma, volunteering, and where were you again?

'''Chris:''' [''Pause''] Hm. Yeah, I was out shopping with my mom that day.

'''Dad:''' ...Uh-huh. Really. That’s...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Dad:''' ...That’s wonderful. Wait a minute, you said Wendy’s before. That... are you changing stories on me? H-have you been, like, changing stories on me through this entire call?

'''Chris:'''No, no I'm not changing-

'''Dad:''' Are you just making shit up now?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not changing stories, this is the same story, I had just gotten fired from the Wendy's and I was feeling down, and I, I was feeling down...

'''Dad:''' You'd been FIRED from Wendy's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was, yeah, let go. I was let go from Wendy's, and I was sad, I was sad about that, you know, they gave me...

'''Dad:''' WHY?

'''Chris:''' I told you! It was, it was because of, uh, emotional differences.

'''Dad:''' Emotional differences.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, my, my, my employer, my...

'''Dad:''' That's...this is absolutely nothing, that just sounds like a bunch of bullsheeit.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Dad:''' Also sounds a little GAY. [''Chris stammers, splutters, and sighs in the background''] I mean, what, did the fry cook break up with you or something? I mean, come on.

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] No! It was nothing, it was nothing like that! It was a misunderstanding, something...

'''Dad:''' Why do you sigh so much? That's just irritating.

'''Chris:''' That was, that was, that was misunderstanding, that was just, there was a whole bunch of misunderstandings between me and my employer, and he, and he has, and he had, and he had, and he had a spike on his shoulder against me. And, and, and, and then, and then that was why he, and then that was why he eventually fired me...

'''Dad:''' [''has been trying to interrupt Chris's stammering for a while''] WHAT KIND OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Like I, like I did, like I did some things that he thought were bad but were, that he thought were bad but were actually good. And then he let, and then he, and then he let me, and then he let me go based on that. Anyway, yeah, I, anyway, this was a couple of days before 9/11 and I was still feeling down from being let go, and then, on 9/11 I was out shopping with my mother that day.

===Maturity, and [[chores]]===
'''Dad:''' Good god, I mean, you sound like you're just, you sound like you're just some simpering little...your voice is all wavery...good lord. You want to date...YOU? You want to date my daughter? You're not even giving me an ounce of respect now.

'''Chris:''' Oh come, oh come, oh come on, I grew up a lot, I grew up a lot since then! [''rapidly loses coherence''] I've grown, I've grown up a lot, in sounds, in sounds, duetothegirl, and, sounds strite, sound, in sound mind.

'''Dad:''' Goddamn. This just sounds like a bunch of fucking whining. You're not even, you don't even sound like half the man that other Chris sounds like at this point. You don't sound like you've grown up. You play fucking Pokeymon all the time!

'''Chris:''' [''Chris's dander is up.''] I am, I am, I am a grown-up ''sir''! I have moved, I have moved on from Pokémon years ago! I am a grown-up! I have moved on from the childish things.

'''Dad:''' No, you didn't move from...you went from Pokémon to Sonichu. What the fuck? This is still just kid shit. You don't have a job. You're still living with your parents. Almost 30 years old. This is ridiculous. You want to date my daughter. You realize that she's LEAGUES above you right now. She's out of your reach.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting a word in edgewise after many stammers''] I have, I have, I have suffered through my own, through my own trials and tribulations that would be war-like. I have suffered through a whole bunch of...enduring physical pains as well. You just could not, you just could not imagine...

'''Dad:''' [''laughing''] Physical pain! [''more laughter''] God, this is...

'''Chris:''' I have, I have worked myself to the bone a lot!

'''Dad:''' This is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' And I have, I have felt heartaches, and I have felt like...

'''Dad:''' You don't know what physical pain feels like...

'''Chris:''' I have felt like I couldn't move on. But then, but then I still move on.

'''Dad:''' ...until you have taken a bullet in the fucking chest. I'm lucky to be alive. My comrade, one of my good buddies, he wasn't so lucky. He died right next to me. I carried him back...

'''Chris:''' [''humbled''] Yeah, well, well, yeah, that is, that was, that was very heroic and I commend you for that good sir.

'''Dad:''' Sure. Yeah. I'm sure. You don't need to commend me. Now you're just kissing ass.

'''Chris:''' No! I am not just, I am not kissing ass!

'''Dad:''' Okay. Well then. Alright. So really, okay...I have one more question, what do you have to offer my daughter, really? After I've heard all this, what exactly do you have to offer a future med student? She had a good fiancé, and now you think you can take her?

'''Chris:''' Yes I could, because I could offer, I can, I can offer her...a whole bunch of support that, that, that, that Chris could not offer. Like I am, I am, I am [[Honest Content|HONEST]]...

'''Dad:''' Really? He's going to be published! He has a job lined up!

'''Chris:''' Like, I am honest, I am loyal, I am STRONG...good natured...

'''Dad:''' Yeah, but this guy spoke several languages, he had connections in the comic-book industry, this guy could get a job right out of college, and you're mooching off the government, off of ''MY'' tax money! And you want to date my daughter. These two had so much in common, Kacey and Chris. She loved everything about him. And you? You just sit around, play with toys, and what, video games? Is that what you buy with your welfare money? Like Pokeyman shit?

'''Chris:''' [[Pokéwalker of Fail|I have not played with Pokémon for years]], sir!

'''Dad:''' Okay, so what do you play with?

'''Chris:''' Hmph.

'''Dad:''' You denied Pokeyman, but you didn't deny video games.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I, okay, I have, I have, I have played some Gui-, I have played some Guitar Hero.

'''Dad:''' [[Guitar Hero]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Dad:''' What the hell is that?

'''Chris:''' I have to stand, I have to stand up to play, I have to stand up and play gitar.

'''Dad:''' You have to stand up to play ''guitar''! Oh, wow! That's...why don't you...that's just pathetic. You think that's exercise? Do you play a real guitar? I think the real Chris could play a real guitar.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] I work, I work hard for my father in his, in his gar-, in his gar-, in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!

'''Dad:''' Pulled weeds? My grandma pulled weeds! My grandma had arthritis and she pulled weeds every day!

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] Well, I'm sorry to hear that your grandma had ar-, had arthritis. But I, but I, I am, I am very strong sir. And I tell you, it was very hard and torturing work to pull, to pull, to, I was working under the hot hot sun, it was, those were very hot days!

'''Dad:''' And you still look like a, I dunno, you look pretty fat to me. I mean, my Kacey, Kacey exercises. And she lost weight, she looks, you know, she looks wonderful. And you? I mean, do you even know...what is the hot sun? I've been in the Middle East. You don't know hot until you've been out in the fuckin' shit.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yes, okay, yes, I will agree with you that I cannot, I cannot understand heat, truly understand heat, until I'm truly in the middle of a desert. But still, it was, those were very hot days. And I pulled those weeds. And I even, I even, I even placed lumber around the edges of that garden, and I hammered labels of those flowers, and my, that my, that my father hand-wrote accurately, and figured, and, pat out the, and he showed me where to place them, I even helped him a little bit with placing them. And I placed, I hammered those labels hard into those pieces of lumber.

'''Dad:''' That's, that just sounds like basic chores. Lumber, pulling weeds, on a good day I had to do 200 push-ups. And I saw [[30 Push-Ups|those push-ups you did]], whatever you call them. Push-ups? That's not push-ups. That was, I dunno, you looked like you were flopping around like a.... fish. Actually kinda looked like you were humping the floor or something.

'''Chris:''' [''unfazed''] I even mowed the lawn!

'''Dad:''' Mowed the lawn! [''laughs''] Wow.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and again, those were very hot days, too. And sometimes the lawnmower would quit on me! And I'd have to practically kick-start it, with my foot, I had to kick it to start it up again!

'''Dad:''' You know, I see seven-year-olds who mow lawns all day for a summer job. All day. All summer. They do it just, they handle it just fine, why can't you? Oh, yeah, and they get paid for it, might I add.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting very angry at this point'']Yeah, well, I was not, well, I was not paid for mowing the lawn. And also, you know what? Another heavy-duty burden I had to take care of, and that I wasn't paid for? When [[Patti Chandler|my dog]] died, a few years ago, she was a sweet dog, I moved, I lifted and carried her doghouse to the site where we buried her. Her doghouse. That thing had to weigh, like, five, ten tons.

'''Dad:''' [''laughs in disbelief'']

'''Chris:''' It was very heavy! I carried that thing.

===Death and fake Internet women===
'''Dad:''' [''Matt is about to break down laughing.''] You're talking to me about how your dog died, you're talking about someone who has lost friends and family in national tragedies. My mother, I had...I had to deal with the loss of my mother, not to old age, but to...fucking...a plane by fucking...piloted by terrorists. My gran-, my mother was killed by terrorists.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, my...

'''Dad:''' And your...but, but your heavy burden is your dog died. I'm sorry, but boo, really, I've had dogs die, it sucks, but that's nothing... that's nothing...

'''Chris:''' Y'know, yeah, well, yeah, well, yeah, well, I was very sad when she died. It was not a matter of age, it was pretty much, yeah, she was very sickly, there was nothing we could do, so I, I signed that form to give them permission to put her to sleep. I let her, I let her go, that was an emotional burden on me. And I have, I have been, my aunt Corrina died just a few months, just a few months, just last January, because of, because of heart cancer.

'''Dad:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] Are you, are you...

'''Chris:''' It was very, it was very saddening, I was very...

'''Dad:''' I'm sorry, are you messing with me? Are you trying to compare the loss of my mother, the loss of someone who took care of me for years, to a dog? Are you calling my mother a dog?

'''Chris:''' I am not calling your mother a dog.

'''Dad:''' [''[[stress sigh]] of his own''] I had to dig my mother out of the rubble of the Twin Towers. I mean, and you had to lift a doghouse.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'll tell you, that doghouse was heavier than any tombstone. And that doghouse pretty much was the tombstone!

'''Dad:''' Sounds like you're fucking with me now.

'''Chris:''' I am not! I am being very HONEST with you sir! I'm telling you the honest truth from my, from my sound mind and my sound heart.

'''Dad:''' I'm starting to, I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole honesty thing you keep talking about. How do you think, how do you think Kacey would feel if I told her about this? What do you think, how do you think she would feel about you comparing this whole lifting a 30-, 50-pound doghouse to maybe a 100-, 200-pound tombstone? That doghouse was probably, what, made of wood? This is solid rock!

'''Chris:''' No, it was, it was, no, I mean, yeah, this is, it was wood ''and'' plastic, that thing had to weigh over a hundred pounds!

'''Dad:''' Plastic's pretty light, you know. I'm sorry, this is, this isn't even close to the same.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Dad:''' And that's just, that's just that...you know, if you had told this to Kacey, she would probably be, she would be so angry. You're just totally grasping at [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|straws]] at this point.

'''Chris:''' [''mutters under his breath''] Yeah, well, also I've been to a whole bunch of this, also, to go off talk, off-topic a bit, or going back to an old topic, that I have been DECEIVED BY THE TROLLS! A bunch of them pretending to be women who I thought were honest over the Internet when I was talking to them for the first time for a while!

'''Dad:''' WHO GIVES A SHIT about the Internet?

'''Chris:''' And some, and some of them, and some of them were actually, and some of them were actually two honest women...

'''Dad:''' BE A MAN...

'''Chris:''' And those [[PandaHalo|two]] [[Ivy|women]] died! I was very, I was very heartbroken by that! And yet I was even more heartbroken when I found out that...

'''Dad:''' YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THESE PEOPLE!

'''Chris:''' I, I...I may not admit, okay, well, yes...

'''Dad:''' Wait, wait, didn't you say, fake women? Did you say that these women were fake? So wait, these women were probably fake...fake women died?

'''Chris:''' [''in a state of great consternation''] I didn't, I didn't...no! I'm talking about, no, two of them, a coup-, a few of them were real women.

'''Dad:''' And how many of these women have you gone through?

'''Chris:''' I have not been able to go to them. But one, there was this [[Julie|one time]] where I actually thought it was a woman, and I actually drove a whole, a whole, a whole day's worth back and forth, almost 24 hours, from my house to Cleveland, Ohio, where it turned out that was, that was, that was a bad lead. I drove a whole, I drove a whole, almost 20, I drove from five in the morning to 12 o'clock, to about, just after about, after midnight. To find out that the destination was a bad one, and that was, that was an imposterous troll.

'''Dad:''' So you went to go to...Ohio, for a fake woman, but my Kacey just told me that you won't go and visit her, a real woman?

'''Chris:''' I, I, I, I...[''angry, incoherent stammering'']

'''Dad:''' I am looking at Kacey right ''now''.

'''Chris:''' But you're in...

'''Dad:''' You wouldn't even go to D.C., that's like two hours away. And you've met her before, for God's sake?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean, I was more naïve, I was more naïve back then, but I am very less naïve now. I have been very less naïve for about, for about a year now.

'''Dad:''' I am not convinced.

'''Chris:''' [''He's snapping.''] OH COME ON. YOU SHOULD BE CONVINCED!

===The maggot manchild and shit starts to hit the fan===
'''Dad:''' [''Laughing with frustration''] "Oh come on"? You know who, you know who you're talking to, son? What the fuck is this? Now you're just talking back to me like a little kid. Don't yell at me, you maggot! Piece of shit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you, you're obviously talking to me like, as if I was a child. And I am not a child.

'''Dad:''' Because you are a child, you're acting like a child.

'''Chris:''' I am not a child, I am a MAN. I am a STRONG MAN. I have been through a whole bunch of emotional and physical traumas in my life!

'''Dad:''' You haven't proven a thing to me, you've shown me nothing that could even possibly suggest that you are a man.

'''Chris:''' Well, sometimes my memory fails me!

'''Dad:''' You're just sitting around in your parents' house, crying about your little dog, playing video games, whining about women on the Internet. Some lazy little maggot...

'''Chris:''' [''Full-blown tard rage erupts.''] I AM NOT, I AM NOT LAZY!

'''Dad:''' You're living with your parents and you don't have a job, how is that not lazy?!

'''Chris:''' Well, maybe I, maybe I don't have a job, but I do work around the house! I lift a whole bunch of...

'''Dad:''' Chores! I do those every day, and I'm retired!

'''Chris:''' They're not just chores! They're not just chores.

'''Dad:''' Yes-they-are! EVERYONE works around the house.

'''Chris:''' Maybe everyone works around the house, but they don't, they differ from burden to burden to... [''stress sigh''] ...heavy weights! I mean...

'''Dad:''' I've seen, you know, I was looking around that YouTube, I saw [[Tour of Chris's House|a video of your house]]. It's a FUCKING MESS! You call that working around the house? Are you trying to be, and you're trying to be some kind of house-husband or something?

'''Chris:''' Well, most of that mess belongs to my mother and I can't really, I can't really organize it without her being able to help me, without her being able to point out where to put everything!

'''Dad:''' Oh, it's your mom's fault. That's real mature.

'''Chris:''' She's a, well, okay, yeah, I admit, she's a bit of a pack rat. And since she retired from secretarial work, she's been more lazy, I'll admit that.

'''Dad:''' But your room is a mess, too. What do you have to say about that? I mean, this is nothing. At this rate...

'''Chris:''' [''On the edge of tears''] It may be nothing, it may be, it may be nothing...

'''Dad:''' You're a pack rat too.

'''Chris:''' I am not a, I am not that bad of a pack rat. I mean, I even brought, I even brought a bunch, I even brought practically all that stuff into the house. And I had to bring in a couch and I had to bring in the hutch, among other pieces of furniture, among the smaller pieces of stuff, smaller bunches of junk that my mom got! That's a lot, that's a lot of heavy lifting. And it was very hard.

'''Dad:''' Who doesn't have to push furniture? All this stuff you're talking about, these heavy burdens sound like stuff everybody has to do at least at some point. This is nothing, this is just regular, everyday housework. This isn't real work. This is chores.

'''Chris:''' I...oh! And you don't think...!

'''Dad:''' This is kids' stuff.

'''Chris:''' Oh, and you don't think carrying your soldier friend on your back was a heavy burden? That was a heavy burden?

'''Dad:''' What...what the fu...are you mocking me?!

'''Chris:''' I am not mocking you!

'''Dad:''' Is this...are you comparing...

'''Chris:''' I'm just, I'm just pointing out, I'm just pointing out that what you did was a heavy burden under...

'''Dad:''' I don't know even know what to say to this!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, that is, yeah, that is a heavy burden because you were fighting to save, you were fighting to save your friend's life...

===Kacey returns===
'''Dad:''' Kacey, c'mon, come over here. You gotta listen to this guy. This is great.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, what's up, daddy?

'''Dad:''' What is...I mean...this guy is just fucking with me...

'''Kacey:''' Daddy, you sound mad, what's wrong?

'''Dad:''' This guy's just fucking with me, he's not even, he's not even respecting me at all. He's a disrespectful...

'''Kacey:''' What, he's disrespecting you? What is he doing?

'''Dad:''' I don't know, he's just talking about all this faggot kiddie shit. How he has to move chairs and do, oh no, housework! And he's comparing that to when your grandma died.

'''Kacey:''' He's WHAT?

'''Dad:''' Yeah. I mean, he's talking about all these "heavy burdens" he's had to face, you know, saying it's a heavy burden, kind of like...of course, you remember when we lost grandma...

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I know, I had to volunteer just to get my mind off it...

'''Dad:''' This guy has nothing to offer you.

'''Chris:''' [''He's still combative.''] I have a lot to offer her!

'''Dad:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' I have plenty to offer her!

'''Dad:''' Like what?!

'''Kacey:''' Don't yell at my father like that! You need to respect him, he's a retired Marine!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I do respect your father, Kacey.

'''Kacey:''' Well, you need to be nice to him! What are you going to do if he doesn't like you?

'''Chris:''' [''another sigh''] I mean, I want, I was being nice to him, but then he started to insult me, he was talking down to me like as if I was a child, when I'm an adult.

'''Dad:''' I already don't like...

'''Kacey:''' Chris! He's way older than you! He's your elder! To him, you are a child! I'm a child to him!

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I guess in compar-, I guess in comparison, yeah, that is true. But I just don't like being talked, I just feel, I just basically, just turns me off when I'm talked down to and such. I mean, I have to put up with my father talking down to me and such, and he starts more arguments than there are flies in the garbage dump!

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but my father doesn't get angry easily.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' You can't act like a child like that! He is your elder! You're trying to ask him PERMISSION.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

'''Kacey:''' What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Well...yeah...

'''Kacey:''' Apologize!

'''Chris:''' Yeah... [''heavy sigh''] Yeah. [''more sighing''] I apologize, Matthew. I apologize for talking back to you. I just got, I got, I got carried away. Especially from feeling like I was being talked down to. Mm...I mean, surely, yeah, you can understand that, I'm sure your father talked down to you, you, even when you were about my age. And I do not mean to insult you or your father, I just felt like it was a fair compar-, I just felt like it was a good comparison there, but anyway. I apologize for yelling at you, and raising my voice.

'''Dad:''' I don't even know how you think you can call me by my name right now.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Dad:''' I don't believe a goddamn word you just said. I'm sorry. No, I'm not sorry, actually.

'''Chris:''' Well...believe it or not, it is the whole, honest truth, that I have been telling you this whole time.

'''Dad:''' Honest. [''snort''] If that's the truth, I'm afraid to say you're pretty fucked. You're just using people from the Internet as scapegoats for your problems. And you were lying when you first met Kacey. That's what I've gotten about this. You...are not good enough for my daughter. Chris, on the other hand, has my blessing.

'''Chris:''' [''massive stress sigh'']
===Literature and health===
'''Dad:''' And if the Internet is such a problem for you, I mean, just get rid of it. What do you have to do? Just call up whoever it is, AOL, whatever it is you use, just call 'em and say "I don't want the Internet anymore." That's all you have to do. You don't need it for anything. Go to a library!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a bunch...yeah, well, I have a bunch of ties on the Internet and for your information I do go to libraries. I read a lot of books.

'''Dad:''' Really? What was the last book you read?

'''Chris:''' {{anchor|Mockingbird}}The last book I read... was ''[[Wikipedia:To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]''.

'''Dad:''' That's high-school shit.

'''Chris:''' You call this high-school, I call it adult, I call it...

'''Dad:''' Kacey read that in high school, Kacey read that as a freshman in high school.

'''Chris:''' I call it adult drama.

'''Dad:''' An adult drama.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It was very dramatic, and I felt for the characters in that, in that story, just like I feel for every character, all the characters in the stor-, in the stories that I have read, throughout my whole life.

'''Dad:''' So what exactly did you learn from this book?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I... have... learned... that I have to be able to cope and be patient with, with a, with everybody who makes, a whole lot of people that may appear to be impatient or that could be hard to put up with. Like George had to put up with Lenny throughout the story. I mean, I'd say that's...

'''Dad:''' That's ''[[Wikipedia:Of Mice and Men|Of Mice and Men]]''.

'''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry, I'm getting my stories mixed up. Yeah. Yeah. ''To Kill a Mockingbird''. Yeah.

'''Dad:''' Yeeeaaaaah... did you even read this book?

'''Chris:''' Yes I did! The dramatic story, the story about that girl who was living with her family throughout the Depression and there was that guy in the store who was nice enough to leave her gifts in the tree trunk. That was like, that was definitely a story of, like, definitely, you know, be kind to your neighbor and they'll, and they'll, and they'll be kind to you. That's still another kind of, another, it's another story where you have to learn to be patient...

'''Dad:''' That doesn't sound like the American classic that I know. I'm sorry. This is... just sounds like a bunch of horseshit. Do you remember the court scene?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, the what?

'''Dad:''' The court scene in the book? That was pretty big, it was a pretty major part of the book. Do you even remember who [[Wikipedia:Atticus Finch|Atticus Finch]] was? That was probably the pivotal moment of the book.

'''Chris:''' Atticus... hm... Atticus... hm, I do believe that was the lawyer in that story.

'''Dad:''' Yesss... man, you call yourself smart? You aren't smart enough for Kacey. When did you read this?

'''Chris:''' I... I've read it, about a month ago.

'''Dad:''' A month ago.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Dad:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.

'''Chris:''' [''Rage button pushed''] Stuff... candy... don't... I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!

'''Dad:''' Wooooowww! [''laughs''] What the fuck are you talking about? I mean, I don't even know what the hell...

'''Chris:''' I eat and drink healthy.

'''Dad:''' And you look like that. You don't even know what I just said, do you? You completely missed that I was, that little analogy back there.

'''Chris:''' No, no, I...

'''Dad:''' Kacey says you eat [[McDonald's]]. You say you eat healthy, but you eat at McDonald's?

'''Chris:''' I have a, I have salads over at McDonald's. And I drink the lemonade over there.

'''Dad:''' That lemonade is full of sugar. You know, [[Liquid|Chris]] is, Chris is fit, I've seen that man, he has rock-hard abs. That guy makes a Marine proud. And he can cook, he doesn't go to McDonald's because he doesn't need to.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can cook too! And sometimes I do cook!

'''Dad:''' You know, he and Kacey like to go running together. Why don't you go running with Kacey, rather than sitting around eating fast food all day?

'''Chris:''' I do go out, I do go out for jogs, sir. I do go out jogging. And if Kacey was here I would be happy to go jogging with her. Or even running, I'd be happy to do that as well.

'''Dad:''' You think you could do five miles like Kacey and Chris do? Five miles?

[[Image:208x228 Advice-CWC-I-JOG-FIVE-MILES-A-DAY.jpg|thumb|Yep!]]

'''Chris:''' Yep!

'''Dad:''' That's a brisk jog.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I could do five miles with Kacey.

'''Dad:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Dad:''' Someone who looks like you can run five miles? I'm sorry, that's bullshit.

'''Chris:''' You're...[''angry sigh'']

'''Dad:''' You look like you couldn't even do five seconds running. In fact, I was watching, I was watching those push-ups, you got winded after... that was thirty seconds of push-ups and you were sweating like a pig.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] Well, wouldn't you sweat?

'''Dad:''' I don't...with that much...? Fuck, that's nothing.

'''Chris:''' WARRIORS, WARRIORS...

'''Dad:''' I'm a Marine. Not after... a few push-ups like that? That's nothing. Okay, but... how much and how often do you jog? I sweat maybe... maybe after, I don't know, ten miles on a hot day.

'''Chris:''' I have been jogging for about fifteen minutes on a daily basis.

'''Dad:''' Fifteen minutes. So you go...you go, what, a quarter of a mile and you call it quits? That's pussy shit. And that's just jogging. Kacey could run, Kacey runs for at least an hour.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's good.

'''Dad:''' Five miles is like a two-hour jog, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a, I have a whole bunch of potential, I can run five miles with Kacey.

'''Dad:''' I would love to see that. I mean, why don't you? You can't... you say you could. You're just saying you have potential. That doesn't sell me. You can't sell me with "potential." Why don't you run five miles, and maybe, maybe I'll think otherwise.

'''Chris:''' It would be hard to video, to video-record five mile running. But I can run five miles, with Kacey.

'''Dad:''' You can?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I can! And I will the first chance I get!

'''Dad:''' But why with Kacey, though, why can't you just do it on your own? You have a camera, don't you? It wouldn't be so hard to just hold a camera and run, would it? That's easily, easily do-able.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Dad:''' Why don't you just figure out how to do that? You said you're good with computers. I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a [[Wikipedia:Microsoft Windows|Windows]] is.

'''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?

'''Dad:''' Don't...[''sputters'']... don't patronize me.

'''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?

'''Dad:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that. I could figure out how to hold a camera and fuckin' run for five miles. That's...how could you not figure out how to do that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, think about this, do you think the batteries would be able to last five miles?

'''Dad:''' Running? Shit. You're running, you're not jogging, it's not gonna take two hours.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, yeah, well... yeah, well, I can't...

'''Dad:''' Besides, think of it as a time limit of some sort, you know? You gotta run fast enough so you can get all of it in before the batteries run out. That would take like... half an hour at most. Batteries last that long.

'''Chris:''' Alright, so a half hour running? I'll be happy to do a half hour of running with my digital camera.

'''Dad:''' [''laughs''] Fine. Show me.

'''Chris:''' Alright, I will.

'''Dad:''' Until then, until then, you are not good enough for Kacey. You are just a maggot.

'''Chris:''' Well. You may call me a maggot, but I'm a pretty dang strong one.

'''Dad:''' I'm gonna go talk to Kacey, I gotta tell her, you do not deserve Kacey. Kacey lifts more than you, how does that feel? The strong man outdone by a woman.

'''Chris:''' Well I may not feel pleasant, if that was the case, then I could not say I did not try.

'''Dad:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' But I...
===Liquid Chris and minimum wage jobs===
'''Dad:''' While you're at it, you don't, you don't try, if you had tried you would have gotten out of your house, you would have gotten a job, you would have... you would be like [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Yeah, well, I am much stronger and I am much better than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Dad:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' Oh, yes I am!

'''Dad:''' But why don't you have, you don't have a job! You're not stronger than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]], you're not smarter than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Chris:''' I am stronger and I am smarter than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]]!

'''Dad:''' You're not living on your own. How can you even say that? And he's younger than you!

'''Chris:''' I say that because it's true.

'''Dad:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' You do not think so...you may not think so...

'''Dad:''' I was so happy, when Kacey said she was going to marry [[Liquid Chris|Chris]]. But then, I don't know, he vanished or something, I don't know what happened...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that would be the point where he made his video on [[YouTube]] where he pretended he was being kidnapped and then that's where he hid away for a number of, for a few months.

'''Dad:''' Yeah, and that devastated her. You don't know how much she missed him.

'''Chris:''' I do, I do, because she has shared that with me.

'''Dad:''' I mean, I would much rather believe him...

'''Chris:''' She has shared that with me and I have comforted the her. I have emotionally supported her.

'''Dad:''' I don't think she... she wasn't nearly that, I don't think she was nearly as happy as when the police finally called her about that. I think you're just trying to get, I think you're just trying to get my little Kacey for a booty call.

'''Chris:''' Believe me sir, it would not just be for a booty call, it would be for a strong relationship with all the loyalty and trust and honesty that a woman can ever want. [''shifts to a momentous tone, half under his breath''] EVER.

 '''Dad:''' But you can't even move out. She needs a man, a man who can support himself and keep a job. You got fired from [[Wendy's]], most people quit because it sucks. You got FIRED. You weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Wendy's. What are you gonna do, what are you gonna do if she gets pregnant and she can't work?

'''Chris:''' If she gets pregnant and can't work, then I would be working. I would be working VERY HARD AND HEAVILY.

'''Dad:''' What kind of job?

'''Chris:''' If I have to I would be, get one of the heavyweights, that just moves the boxes around the, stock the shelves at a grocery store. At the least. If not better.

'''Dad:''' That makes minimum wage at best. That's not a real job. You know how much minimum wage is?

'''Chris:''' At the current rate, it's about $8 an hour.

'''Dad:''' That's not good enough! Get a good job! You can't live off that! Especially after taxes.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I can get a good job, and I will.

'''Dad:''' If you want to do lifting, you go work in a warehouse or something. And last I checked, minimum wage was $7.25.

'''Chris:''' [''takes a contemptuous tone''] Huh! You must have checked, no offense, but you must have checked like five years ago. [''In fact, [[Wikipedia:List of U.S. minimum wages|Matt is correct]].'']

'''Dad:''' And how would you know? You don't have a job!

'''Chris:''' Because it was over five years ago, I was working for that minimum wage, and that was $7.50.

'''Dad:''' That wasn't minimum wage.

'''Chris:''' Yes it was. And that was back at Wa-Wendy's!

'''Dad:''' You know you can get paid more at jobs than minimum wage? I just looked it up right now, it says $7.25.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Maybe that's average minimum wage.

'''Dad:''' Don't lie to me. Look...

'''Chris:''' I am not lying to you.

'''Dad:''' Kacey, come on, Kacey, come over here, listen to this horseshit, ''listen to this horseshit''.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' What's wrong now, Daddy?

'''Dad:''' What's this he's talking about... minimum wage is $7.25, right?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. It went up in July, I remember because it was around my birthday.

'''Dad:''' This guy's lying again. Why is it...I'm looking right here on this webpage, that's exactly what it says.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it happened on July 24, that was like...

'''Dad:''' Why does this guy keep lying to me? How do I know that anything he says is true?

'''Chris:''' I stand corrected! I stand corrected. On current minimum wage.

'''Dad:''' Don't argue with me.

'''Chris:''' Alright.
===Respect and listening skills===
'''Kacey:''' Is he being disrespectful again, Daddy?

'''Dad:''' He's always been... he's been disrespectful this whole time.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] I have not been lying!

'''Dad:''' When Kacey says it, when Kacey says it you believe it now.

'''Kacey:''' I just don't understand.

'''Dad:''' I don't understand either.

'''Chris:''' I can't say I'm in full understanding either.

'''Kacey:''' That doesn't even make sense. Like, I shouldn't have to pick up the other line and have to hear this. I mean, what are you doing, are you trying to sabotage this?

'''Chris:''' No. Just, throughout, throughout this whole conversation I have been telling the [[True and honest|honest truth]], from memory. As far as I know.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but this doesn't make sense. Like, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] charmed my dad within five minutes. Why are you still fighting with him? Why are you lying to my father?

'''Chris:''' I have not been lying to your father. I have been telling him the truth throughout my best and honest knowledge. From my heart and from my head.

'''Kacey:''' What are you wanting me to think, that you're dumb or something?

'''Chris:''' I...wh...no. [''pause''] I, I...[''drowned out by Kacey'']

'''Kacey:''' Well, then what's going on?! Why does my dad look so upset? I haven't seem him this upset in a long time.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can't read, I cannot read his mind, so...

'''Kacey:''' Well, no, no-one expects you to, but you could be respectful to him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, um, I mean, yeah, I was doing my best to be respectful. But then...and then he started, he started...

'''Kacey:''' My Dad is not going to lie to me, and obviously whenever I get on the phone you're calm and everything, so is something going on when I'm not on the phone? Like are you being two-faced?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation. I swear, hand to [[God]].

'''Kacey:''' You shouldn't do that, we don't swear to God, and my dad wouldn't lie to me.

'''Dad:''' One-faced side of bullshit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he's been contradicting me, and talking to me in a negative way...

'''Kacey:''' Okay, you guys, I'm going to go. Talk nice.

'''Chris:''' I have been, I have been, I was talking nice. And then he started contradicting me with those words, like, yeah, and, uh, hm, and put, and putting me down, like even call, even call, even calling me a pussy, or, among other things. And then that, and then that just...grinded my gears.

'''Dad:''' You know, Kacey is gone. She's not listening right now. She didn't hear anything you just said.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Portal Turret:''' Target lost.

'''Dad:''' Stop [[sigh]]ing so much.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm speechless at the moment.

'''Dad:''' Didn't you just hear, she... hear her say she was getting off?

'''Chris:''' Uhh...hear her say she was getting off?

'''Dad:''' Do you pay attention to anything? Ever? To the words that I am saying?

'''Chris:''' I, I'm, I do pay attention. But I, I did not hear "I'm getting off."

'''Dad:''' This is... this, do you even listen to her at all? How can you be a good boyfriend? You don't listen to anything.

'''Chris:''' I, I do, I do listen! And I, and ob-, obviously, she must have said it in a quiet tone, because I did not hear it. [''Actually Chris was talking over her at the time, but never mind.'']

'''Dad:''' But this is... she was pretty upset. She wasn't that quiet.

'''Chris:''' W... well, I'm sorry she's upset.

'''Dad:''' And now, what I'm saying right now, is that before you can say you are better than Chris, you need to get a job, you need to move out from your parents, you need to be independent. You need to show me that you're a man. And you... you also have to have the ability to not lie to me. I'm getting all tongue-tied, because...just...you don't know how frustrating this is. I mean, I haven't done that in years.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I agree with you, this is frustrating.

'''Dad:''' And you are lucky her mother isn't here.

'''Chris:''' And I pro-, and I send... I promise you. I have not been lying.

'''Dad:''' How is this, how is this frustrating to you? You sound like you just have the easiest life in the world.

'''Chris:''' Because, because, because, because you're, because you're frustrated, and your frustration is reflecting onto me and it's making me feel frustrated. It's making me feel frustrated.

===Chris's pathetic life and diseased ticker===
'''Dad:''' You sit around...what are you going to do after this? You're gonna go home, you're gonna go play [[video games]] again or something?

'''Chris:''' No...

'''Dad:''' Nobody can get you to do anything. Play your [[Pokemon|Pokeymans]], watch [[TV]]. Sleep. Eat [[McDonald's]]. That's, that's your life.

'''Chris:''' That is not my life.

'''Dad:''' Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' It's a lot, it's a lot more than that. I do a lot more than...

'''Dad:''' Oh, yeah, I forgot, you do chores, too.

'''Chris:''' See, this, you know, this is why I was talking to Kacey about...

'''Dad:''' You talk and you get angry at people on the Internet who you've never seen before.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, see, right now you're just...you're just saying some, saying some of the things that sit aside from the good for me, honest, from, aside from the good things, yeah, everything I've said, I have been, I have been very honest about, and you're just taking the bad pieces that can, you're just taking some of that honesty and you're just reflecting it onto me and, you're just making it sound bad. Like it's a bad thing. And that makes me feel bad.

'''Dad:''' It IS a bad thing. What good qualities do you have that aren't LIES? You started this whole relationship on a lie. My daughter doesn't deserve that. And now you're blaming me for all this that's going on.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna, could you just, look, okay, well, you did not let me say that...

'''Dad:''' You just met me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, I'm talking to you over the phone, that is [''dissolves into gibberish momentarily'']...

'''Dad:''' You don't...it just sounds like you don't want to admit any of your faults. You just...

'''Chris:''' I am, I am happy to admit my faults.

'''Dad:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Okay, well, for one, sometimes, I don't think things through and I make, end up in the decision I thought was good at first may end up being the bad decision.

'''Dad:''' O... kay?

'''Chris:''' But yeah, I have been improving on that and thinking things through fully. Making sure that...

'''Dad:''' Everyone does that, everyone, you know, makes a mistake every now and then. Okay?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Dad:''' Let's start with something easy. Let's tell me...tell me...how about you admit that you're, well, okay, I'll just say it. [[Obesity|FAT]]. And lazy.

'''Chris:''' {{anchor|Buddha belly}}Okay, well, I admit I do have a Buddha belly, but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy.

'''Dad:''' Doesn't show at all. How often do you watch TV? And you said you jog for fifteen minutes. That's... that's not gonna burn calories.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'm working up to thirty minutes.

'''Dad:''' Thirty minutes. And compared to...how does this compare to how much TV you watch?

'''Chris:''' For your information, I watch only about four hours of television.

'''Dad:''' Four hours of television.

'''Chris:''' In a day.

'''Dad:''' A day. That... I don't think that's true. That just doesn't sound, you kinda paused right there? You sound like you actually had to think about it for a second. I don't think that's true.

'''Chris:''' Well, when I had to count it up, I did have to think about it. But yes, it is true, I watch four hours of television in a day.

'''Dad:''' Four hours, that's still quite a bit, hasn't Kacey told you anything about how important it is to take care of yourself?

'''Chris:''' Yes, we have, we have talked about that. And I have listened to her about that, and I have been taking the appropriate steps and abiding with her words in mind and heeding her advice as such.

'''Dad:''' Really...because she's still pretty worried about you, she says. She think something's gonna happen to you, you know. She thinks it's not looking good. And didn't she, she told me you were on [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]]?

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Dad:''' I mean, I know about that stuff. That's something people my age take. I don't take it myself, but I know people who do.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, for your information, my doctor got me off, took me off [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]] a couple of months ago.

'''Dad:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Dad:''' I still don't think you...you still don't sound like you're terribly healthy. Okay, watching TV aside, and you play video games, how long do you do that a day, huh? I mean, with how much you sit around, your metabolism must not be so hot.

'''Chris:''' How long... do I sit around? I would not say that I sit around that much. I would say...

'''Dad:''' And play... okay, how much do you play video games?

'''Chris:''' About two hours in a day.

'''Dad:''' Two hours a day.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Dad:''' Okay, so that's at least six hours you spend sitting around doing absolutely nothing in your room. That's a quarter of a day. In six hours you could have worked a part-time job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I, but, the time I do not spend in front of the television is the time I spend exercising. That's about half of the day.

'''Dad:''' You do not spend half of a day exercising. If you spent half a day exercising, you would have at least lost that little [[Wikipedia:Budai|Buddha belly]] and those man-tits of yours.

'''Chris:''' Okay, now I'm feeling insulted with those, with what you just said there.

'''Dad:''' And you just told me fifteen minutes, so you're lying again.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, maybe, yeah, well, fifteen minutes jogging, upon the pacing of the spacing of the jogging.

'''Dad:''' Okay, so you don't even run fifteen minutes altogether, at one time?

'''Chris:''' It's fifteen, they're, fifteen minutes, they're fifteen-minute intervals, like I do fifteen minutes in one hour, then the next hour I do another fifteen minutes of jogging.

'''Dad:''' But that doesn't help you at all. All that...that means there's 45 minutes of you doing nothing every hour. By then your heart rate has gone down, the exercise is gonna do nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' My heart rate has been, has been good.

'''Dad:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I can guarantee that.

'''Dad:''' Do you even know what you're talking about?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I do, I am talking...

'''Dad:''' Do you even know how to check your heart rate?

'''Chris:''' Yes I do.

'''Dad:''' Okay, how?

'''Chris:''' I put my fingers on my pulse, count the number of beats through ten seconds, and then I multiply by six. That's, that's...

'''Dad:''' Where do you check for your pulse?

'''Chris:''' Put two fingers on my wrist or on my neck. Or put it on my chest where my heart is.

'''Dad:''' Okay, so what's a good heart rate for you?

'''Chris:''' About seventy-two beats per minute.

'''Dad:''' Seventy-two beats per minute.

'''Chris:''' To about a hundred beats per minute.

'''Dad:''' Uh-huh. So what's your heart rate right now?

'''Chris:''' Alright... [''long silence''] Alright, let me find that...yeah. It's approximately, it is approximately eighty-four right now.

'''Dad:''' Eighty-four from just sitting around?

'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I've been listening. Chris, that's a serious medical condition. What are you talking about? Normally your heart doesn't beat that fast unless you've done exercise.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Kacey:''' That's like [[Wikipedia:arrhythmia|arrhythmia]] or [[Wikipedia:tachycardia|tachycardia]]. What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, right, you know, well, I did get a little bit of [[stress]] from some of the conversation.

'''Kacey:''' Stress doesn't do that. That's like a serious medical condition. And I heard you talk to my dad, you don't listen to anything I say when I worry about you. You still go to [[McDonald's]], and I told you those salads aren't healthy. I bet you haven't even lost one pound. Don't you care that I think you're gonna die? [''Chris stammers briefly in response''] That you're probably going to lose motion in your body if you don't exercise enough? This is important to me!

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It is.

'''Kacey:''' What're you going to do? You're gonna die before you're thirty.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hm. [''pause, then sigh'']

'''Dad:''' Hmph.

'''Kacey:''' If anything, that means you have way too much caffeine in your system. If you have something that high. That's either, you can get that from smoking, from too much fat, from too much caffeine...

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' [''Her voice breaks, on the verge of crying.''] It's like you don't even care! Dad was right, you are being disrespectful!

'''Chris:''' [''Attempting to sound empathetic''] Kacey, I do care. [''sigh''] Even though, even though it may not, even though it may shot 'n I've shot, I do care. Believe me.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. Because it's that hard for you to stop going to McDonald's. But you've still been going. Right?

'''Chris:''' I have been going less.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like I didn't... less is not none! Fast food is bad! Period at the end!

'''Chris:''' [''On the defensive''] Yeah, but that was like once a week! Once in a week!

'''Kacey:''' Once a week is bad! Don't eat any! None!

'''Chris:''' Alright, I won't go there anymore. I won't go [[McDonald's]] anymore.

'''Kacey:''' Or any fast food!

'''Chris:''' Alright. I will not go to any fast food, I...

'''Kacey:''' Whatever. It's not like you haven't lied to me before. You're just probably lying to me now. Dad, I can't deal with this anymore...

'''Chris:''' I'M NOT LYING TO YOU! I promise you! I promise you! I promise you, Kacey. I promise you.

'''Dad:''' She's gone again.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']
===Chris blows it, but he's an American!===
'''Dad:''' She was pretty, ah...let's say you just blew it, man. She was, she was crying right there. You just fuckin' blew it. Big-time.

'''Chris:''' [''deep sigh'']

'''Dad:''' I just heard the door slam. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes and calls Chris.

'''Chris:''' Hmph. Well...

'''Dad:''' What do you have to say for yourself? [''Long silence ensues'']

'''Chris:''' Well, all I can say is...that's your opinion, and you have every right to your own opinion.

'''Dad:''' It's not my opinion. It just happened. What the hell are you talking about? I'm talking about facts.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you're talking about, yes you are talking about facts, but you have expressed a whole bunch of your own opinions about what you've heard from me the whole conversation.

'''Dad:''' And that's all you have to say about the fact that you just upset my daughter? What are you...

'''Chris:''' That's my response, that's my response about you, but as for Kacey, you know, I just feel, I just feel very sad for her.

'''Dad:''' I don't care what you have to say about me. This is about, you should care about Kacey, not me! You have to do something big.

'''Chris:''' I care about Kacey. I really, truly do.

'''Dad:''' Okay. But if you want my opinion right now, I think you should stay away from my daughter. Unless you really, REALLY turn around your life. You're not even close to Chris right now. You have to do something big to get her back. You have to get a job, at the very least. Lose, I dunno, 50 pounds. Move out. Then I might consider you, MAYBE.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Dad:''' And you have to keep your promises, because she says you never do.

'''Chris:''' I do keep my promises.

'''Dad:''' And I think she should be with [[Liquid Chris|her real fiancé]] right now. [''Long silence''] I mean, he treats her like a princess. You treat her like... a set of tits and ass.

'''Chris:''' No, I treat her like a princess as well. I treat her, more importantly... as a friend... a true friend, a good friend...

'''Dad:''' That doesn't sound like it at all.

'''Chris:''' You don't know. I mean...

'''Dad:''' I do know. Because she talks to me.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well... points of view.

'''Dad:''' I can't even stand your voice. So whiny, all this sighing, it's like a baby. You'll never be as good as Chris at this rate.

'''Chris:''' I am a lot better than Chris. Belieeeeeeeeve me.

'''Dad:''' You're not even a functioning human. You're leeching off my government.

'''Chris:''' I have a functioning image...

'''Dad:''' I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this?

'''Chris:''' I... am an [[United_States_of_America|American]]! I am proud to be an American and [[I_AM_STRONG|I am STRONG]]. I am an individual...

[''Portal'' can again be heard faintly in the background]

'''Dad:''' Don't tell, don't tell me you're an American.

[''Portal'' can again be heard]

'''Chris:''' I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.

'''Dad:''' You can't tell me you're patriotic...if you were patriotic you wouldn't even have thought about making that video, [[Twin Falling Towers|that 9/11 video]]. I still can't believe why you made that. It doesn't matter. You don't... do that! You're not acting like a patriot, you're acting more like a terrorist.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry I gave off that impression. At least I, at least I was man enough to admit I was wrong and I am, I did my best to undo the mistake by deleting my video, and making the apology.

'''Dad:''' You know, Chris and Kacey are Americans too. And "sorry" doesn't undo the fact that you made that video.

===Chris's love and memory===
'''Chris:''' It may not, but at least I admitted I was wrong. And it takes a man to admit when he is wrong.

'''Dad:''' And you still made it. You... you're not a man. Stop trying to call yourself a man. I mean, it takes a real man to change, and you haven't.

'''Chris:''' I do change my habits. I have been changing my habits. And I have been better from the habits I have changed.

'''Dad:''' That's a lie. You haven't done shit.

'''Chris:''' I...I have done a lot more than you can, than you are thinking right now. Or that you could ever think at this moment.

'''Dad:''' You said you stopped at a McDonald's, and you didn't... that's such a simple little thing, and you still lied about it. You can't stop eating fast food. What makes you think you can turn around and get a job and stop leeching off the government? And stop lying to Kacey?

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] Because... I am me, I have faith in me, and I am strong within myself.

'''Dad:''' I bet you don't even love Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey!

'''Dad:''' I bet if Kacey left you right now, right this very moment, you would...you'd probably cry, for maybe just a couple seconds, then you'd go out and find another girl on the Internet.

'''Chris:''' [[The Wallflower|No!]]

'''Dad:''' Wouldn't you? And even if you do love Kacey, you don't love Kacey nearly as much as Chris loves Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey, truly and deeply. And I care about her, about that much, probably more.

'''Dad:''' And so does Chris, and he can prove it, so why don't you? You can't even stop eating McDonald's for her.

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] I can so prove it, and I will.

'''Dad:''' God. You know, he knows her favorite color, and her favorite flower. I'm sure you don't.

'''Chris:''' Her favorite color is "tarquoise".

'''Dad:''' Turquoise? That's... that's wrong.

'''Chris:''' It's a blue-green shade. ''[Chris is correct here, at least. On his [http://pastebin.com/8FxWDZq6 creepy date] with Kacey, she said her favorite color was [[Wikipedia:Teal (color)|teal]].]''

'''Dad:''' Okay, favorite flower.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I cannot say that I, I cannot say that I remember her favorite flower at the moment.

'''Dad:''' Aha. Really.

'''Chris:''' It could have been maybe because she did not mention her favorite flower yet. But she did tell me her favorite color. It was a shade, it was a blue-green shade. So turquoise is ''close''.

'''Dad:''' Can you remember anything? Okay, I bet you don't even remember some of the stuff I just said today. You probably don't even remember who in my family dies in 9/11, do you? I just said that, what, half an hour ago?

'''Chris:''' You, you said that your daughter, that your daughter was giving blood in New York, right by the 9/11 site.

'''Dad:''' Okay, but who DIED, who of my family died in 9/11?

'''Chris:''' The grandma.

'''Dad:''' My grandma?

'''Chris:''' Her grandmother.

'''Dad:''' Who is?

'''Chris:''' You did not mention her name.

'''Dad:''' No... [''exasperated sigh''] ... no, okay, her grandmother, who is...?

'''Chris:''' Your mother.

'''Dad:''' How long did that just take you? Good boy! God, this is just like talking to a preschooler.

===Matthew crosses the line and Chris's reaction time===
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, talking to a what?

'''Dad:''' A preschooler. God. This is... man. You can't have Kacey, with this kind of, this is just ridiculous. I can't believe I'm talking to someone who's so... [[naïve]].

'''Chris:''' [''angry intake of breath''] You just crossed a line. You just crossed a line. By saying the word "naïve." That is like the worst insult to me...

'''Dad:''' What line?

'''Chris:''' A line. You crossed the line. You've just... you just really ticked me off right there when you said that.

'''Dad:''' What're you gonna do about it?

'''Chris:''' Nothing at the moment.

'''Dad:''' "Nothing at the moment"?

'''Chris:''' Because I can't really do anything, I'm not right there in front of you, now, am I? I'm talking to you over the phone. The only thing I could do right now is let you know that you just crossed a line. By saying that word.

'''Dad:''' Are you... wait, wait, wait a minute, are you trying to threaten me? You trying to threaten an ex-Marine?

'''Chris:''' No, I... no, I am not threatening you, I am not threatening you. I am in no position to threaten an ex-Marine. And I understand that, and I respect you as such.

'''Dad:''' Okay, so what are you saying? I could whoop your naïve little ass with my pinky if I wanted to. Kacey could whoop your ass! I'm surprised she hasn't already.

'''Chris:''' Well. I would be able to defend myself.

'''Dad:''' So you would hit Kacey?

'''Chris:''' No, I would not hit Kacey.

'''Dad:''' Have you ever defended yourself?

'''Chris:''' I have defended myself.

'''Dad:''' [''exhales in disbelief''] I'm sure that was something to see. Have you... I mean, I'm sure, I can see what would just happen. She'd probably try to throw a punch and you'd just bounce her off with your Buddha belly. Or so you call it.

'''Chris:''' I would either step to one side or block it with an arm!

'''Dad:''' [''laughs''] That little limp-wristed twig of yours? You're pretty big, but you've got some pretty scrawny arms. And you're a pretty big target, she'd be...pretty hard to miss you. I've seen her punches.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Dad:''' I don't think you'd be able to react fast enough.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you have not seen how I can, how fast I can react.

'''Dad:''' You can't even react fast enough to what I'm saying.

'''Chris:''' Because I'd like to spellcheck, and make sure I'm not making any mistakes. Make sure that my mind and my mouth are in sync.

'''Dad:''' Making... mistakes...?

'''Chris:''' My mouth does not go faster than my mind.

'''Dad:''' What are you even...?

'''Chris:''' That's another, that is another one of my flaws, I am willing to admit. Sometimes my mouth goes faster than my brain.

'''Dad:''' Well, I bet that's not the only thing that goes faster than your brain. Are you trying to say you're some kind of computer or something? But this is, you're getting completely off the point. So tell me why, exactly, you aren't [[naïve]]? Why is this crossing the line so much?

'''Chris:''' Because it's insulting my intelligence.

'''Dad:''' What line did I cross exactly?

'''Chris:''' And I do not appreciate that. You made me feel... [[anger]].

'''Dad:''' Because you haven't proven your intelligence to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though most of the time I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.

'''Dad:''' Okay... Here's how intelligent you really are, and that's because being naïve has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence.

'''Chris:''' Look it up in the dictionary.

'''Dad:''' I have looked it up in the dictionary. It has nothing to do with intelli... what are you talking about? What dictionary are you looking in?

'''Chris:''' Webster's.

'''Dad:''' Webster's. You know, I'm sure, if you think naïve has to do with... I'm sure your "[[autism]]" is just some sort of blanket term for "retarded" for you. Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments. But I am certainly not ''totally'' retarded.

'''Dad:''' No. I'm looking at my dictionary, you know what "naïve" means? It means "inexperienced." Not "unintelligent." I shouldn't be calling you naïve, I should just be calling you a dumbass. But you are naïve as well.

===Experience and respect===
'''Chris:''' I've got a lot more experience than you could imagine.

'''Dad:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I have had twenty-seven years of experience.

'''Dad:''' With what? Eating [[McDonald's]] and watching [[TV]]? Son, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] is younger than you, and he has had far more experiences than you have. And I've had fifty-two years of experience.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, how about being pinned down by three teachers, a guidance counselor, and an elementary school... prinstapull... and having your screams and cries recorded on audiotape like a torture chamber?

'''Dad:''' The hell are you talking about?

'''Chris:''' And have, I was pretty much in that situation there in, back in the fourth grade. They were scared of, scared of...

'''Dad:''' What did you do, some kind of temper tantrum?

'''Chris:''' No, they were scared of me. They did not understand autism.

'''Dad:''' So, what, you just had some kind of retard panic attack and they didn't know what to do?

'''Chris:''' I, it was not a retard, no. It was not! They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. I even ended up with a rash on my neck from that thing, among other things! And we had to find a school system, they wanted to put me in a mental institution! But that was not...

'''Dad:''' Because you NEED HELP. That's probably where you belong! And you call the other, you call Chris crazy... this is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' I do not belong in a mental... if I had gone to a mental institution, I would not have graduated high school or gotten my certificate and degree in [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]]. I've moved up from what you would consider a retarded state of mind.

'''Dad:''' I know retards with college degrees. They probably felt sorry for you. They probably just kinda let you through, that's probably what happened.

'''Chris:''' [''angry stress sigh, or perhaps spluttering with rage'']

'''Dad:''' You know schools do that. And those other, I call them retards, but really, they're pretty good people. They actually did something with their degrees, believe it or not. People with Down's syndrome have done more than you. And that degree has done nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' It has done a lot, it has done a lot for me. It's given me the whole bunch of computer experience and potential that I have. And I will get an office job, and I will move out of this house, and I will run five miles!

'''Dad:''' But you haven't done any of that. If you're gonna say it, then do it.

'''Chris:''' I would not be saying it if I was not going to do it. That is a promise.

'''Dad:''' You better do it before Kacey runs back to a real man.

'''Chris:''' Okay then.

'''Dad:''' Because I'm thinking that's going to happen pretty soon here. 27 years and you haven't changed.

'''Chris:''' Well, she did, she and I did not meet twenty-seven years ago, she and I met a few months ago.

'''Dad:''' And you... and you haven't, she wasn't alive twenty-seven years ago. That doesn't even make any sense.

'''Chris:''' Well, what you said there a moment ago equally did not make much sense either. That was like you were implying, like as if she actually knew me my whole twenty-seven years.

'''Dad:''' This is insulting to my intelligence, talking to you. You've shown me nothing but disrespect.

'''Chris:''' I have, I have...

'''Dad:''' I'm sure you show Kacey hardly any more respect than you show me. I've been trying to open your eyes here.

'''Chris:''' I have shown you respect from the lot, for a while during the conversation.

'''Dad:''' This is the kind of respect you show me, I would hate to see the kind of respect you show Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I show Kacey a lot of respect.

'''Dad:''' You probably don't even respect her as a person...

'''Chris:''' I do res...I do respect her as a person!

===Chris is creepy and bad at dating===
'''Dad:''' You know, her sister said you kept trying to touch her when you met her.

'''Chris:''' Because I was nervous at the time!

'''Dad:''' You were NERVOUS? What the hell kind of response is that? You're nervous, so you try to touch, so you try to touch a girl? What the hell? That's...that's...that's just sick! That's my daughter, you're trying to touch a girl, you're trying to touch my daughter because you're nervous? Most people try to avoid touching people when they're nervous. Gah, I can't believe I just heard that, I should come and kick your ass right now!

'''Chris:''' I only touched her shoulder! I thought it was a friend gesture!

'''Dad:''' Her shoulder? You know, that didn't...I heard otherwise, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry too.

'''Dad:''' Did you try to kiss her?

'''Chris:''' No!

'''Dad:''' Bullshit. She told her sister about what you did. I know. Are you telling me that Kacey lied?

'''Chris:''' I am not saying that. I am not saying that.

'''Dad:''' You trying to tell me that...I heard you did all kinds of other weird shit. You tried to sniff her or something?

'''Chris:''' She was sharing her perfumes with me.

'''Dad:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' She wanted my, she wanted my opinion on which perfume smelled better.

'''Dad:''' She gave it to you, she said she gave it to you in the bottle first. You could have just opened the bottle and sniffed, you didn't have to sniff ''her'' to do it. That's a little creepy.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, she wanted the perfume, she wanted me to give an honest opinion about... on her.

'''Dad:''' You did it in front of her and her friend. Have you ever done this before? Is this something you do when you meet girls?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, could you, could you, ah, repeat that?

'''Dad:''' Have you...have you ever done this before, to another girl?

'''Chris:''' Mm...yeah, well, we've been talking about the sniffing thing. I just want to make sure I understand what we're talking about here.

'''Dad:''' Yes...anything, any of this creepy....shit. This touching, this kissing, that I've been told you try to do.

'''Chris:''' Well...first off I can definitely, honestly say that I have not kissed a girl yet...

'''Dad:''' TRIED.

'''Chris:''' [[Emily#Kiss_fail|Or even tried to]].

'''Dad:''' ''Really''?

'''Chris:''' Truly.

'''Dad:''' Yeah, I don't believe, I don't believe a word of that. How many dates have you even been on?

'''Chris:''' In my lifetime? [[Hambeast|Only one]].

'''Dad:''' Only one.

'''Chris:''' And this was a few months ago. Before I met Kacey.

'''Dad:''' Before you met Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Dad:''' And how did that turn out? How did she act towards you? What did she think of you?

'''Chris:''' It turned out that girl just wasn't all that into me.

'''Dad:''' I mean, Kacey met you around August, that was a couple of months ago. So how far along was this?

'''Chris:''' That one date was back in, was last June.

'''Dad:''' And now why exactly do you think she wasn't interested in you?

'''Chris:''' I don't know. I am not a mind-reader.

'''Dad:''' So you can't think of a single reason why she might not have been interested in you?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I can honestly say that I cannot.

'''Dad:''' You can't think of... I can think of a couple reasons right off the bat, why a girl would not have been into you. I don't even need to think about it. I mean... I mean, you can't even take them on a real date.

'''Chris:''' I took her on a real date. I took her to [[Wikipedia:Applebee's|Applebee's]], and I paid for her, for what she ate and what she drank there.

'''Dad:''' You paid for her. And how much was that?

'''Chris:''' That was about $10.

'''Dad:''' $10.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Dad:''' That's... $10 for dinner. Are you sure you just didn't go to McDonald's again?

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] No, this was APPLEBEE'S. And Kim was there, she could the same, she could tell you the same thing.

'''Dad:''' So where would you take Kacey? She's a pretty high-class girl. I'm sure you probably didn't even tip.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I did not understand the second half of that sentence, after you said "Kacey is a high-class girl."

'''Dad:''' I said you probably didn't even tip. So where exactly are you going to take Kacey?

'''Chris:''' Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, I did tip.

'''Dad:''' You even know how much you're supposed to tip.

'''Chris:''' About 15% or 20%.

'''Dad:''' So how much did you tip, then, if you paid $10?

'''Chris:''' I tipped a buck fifty.

'''Dad:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Dad:''' That's still pretty cheap. You know, Kacey probably wouldn't like that if you tipped her that much. You know she's a waitress, right? Tips are pretty important to waitresses.

'''Chris:''' Yep, I understand that, tips are important. But still, 15% of $10 is a dollar fifty.

'''Dad:''' That's true. Okay, so how much would you tip if you paid, say, $80 for dinner? Which is very possible, if you go to the kind of places Kacey likes to go.

'''Chris:''' Hm... let's see... that would be about $12.

'''Dad:''' So you would pay just $12, you wouldn't go up to, like, you wouldn't even just toss them a twenty or something? Can you even do math?

'''Chris:''' Well, I cannot say that my family is of the high-class, hoity-toity, rich type, type of people. We are on average income.

'''Dad:''' You could at least... they're not rich either. They still left a twenty.

'''Chris:''' Well... good for them.

'''Dad:''' You're not even on an income. Income would be, like, you actually have a job. Man, Chris treats her so much better than you, shows her so much more respect.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I give you respect throughout the beginning of the conversation.

'''Dad:''' You've given me nothing.

'''Chris:''' And then, and then, I started to feel insulted, from being, from being talked down about, about the things I've talked about. And that she told you, like about the McDonald's and the video games and that sort of thing, when I am so much better than that.

'''Dad:''' And I have not seen any of this, because it probably doesn't exist.

'''Chris:''' It does exist.

'''Dad:''' I mean, telling the truth isn't, it's not made of Pokeymans and all that.

'''Chris:''' It is not.

'''Dad:''' And how are you better than all this? You're doing exactly, you're doing just that, talking about stupid fucking Pokeymans and shit. That's all I'm really getting about you. You do nothing but exactly what you've said.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, what can you...

'''Dad:''' You need to be better. Not say you could be better.

'''Chris:''' At least I am HONEST when I say I could be better. At least I don't go around lying, pretending that I am an astronaut.

'''Dad:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] You're not. You're not being honest.

'''Chris:''' No, I have been honest. Otherwise I would have said that I was an astronaut, but that would be lying. And I have not been lying this conversation.

'''Dad:''' Would have been a pretty bad lie, too.

'''Chris:''' I know, but that's just an example off the top of my head at the moment.

'''Dad:''' You don't even have the eyes to be an astronaut, I mean, c'mon. You don't have the weight. You especially don't have the weight.

===Endgame===
'''Chris:''' [''Long silence''] Well... I'll just say that this has been a most experiencing conversation, and I wish you a pleasant evening. Take care, Mr. Devoria, and stay safe. And please give my most fondest regards to Kacey as well. I love her and I care about her very much.

'''Dad:''' Don't you hang up on me. When did I say that this conversation was over?

'''Chris:''' Well. You could say the insult, I'm getting tired of insults, I feel like I need to go, I feel like I need to go take a shower, and get ready to sleep. We are in the same time zone, it's ten after two right now.

'''Dad:''' Actually, you know, that's fine, you can go whine and weasel your way out of this. You don't even deserve my daughter. What are you gonna do after this, what are you going to do tomorrow? Are you going to get up, sleep, you're going to get up and play video games again. That's... that's...

'''Chris:''' I am not, I will not be that way, I am going to get up and I'm going to be finding a job in the office. And I am going to be jogging for fifteen to thirty minutes.

'''Dad:''' I don't believe...you know what Kacey's gonna do? She's gonna go to school, and she's gonna call Chris back. That's what she's gonna do.

'''Chris:''' [''Snide and superior''] Well, that's what you think she's gonna do. You do not control her.

'''Dad:''' And you know why she's gonna do that? It's because she, because he's the one she wants. You know that song that she made for Chris? She made it for him. Not you. [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|You know that song, that "Whole New World," from that Disney movie]]? She made that for him.

'''Chris:''' No, she told me she made that for me.

'''Dad:''' Oh, no she didn't.

'''Chris:''' Oh yes she did!

'''Dad:''' I think I know my daughter a little better than you do.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'll have to check with her on that.

'''Dad:''' He even sang it for her! I mean, what really made you think it was for you?

'''Chris:''' Because she told me so herself!

'''Dad:''' She told ME that she made it for him. Unless you're saying she's lying.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not saying she's lying, because...

'''Dad:''' And I saw that video. You didn't even know the lyrics to that song. You had to look it up. I could see the paper in your hand. And you had to sing over the words, you didn't even get the karaoke version or something. How could you possibly have known the lyrics?

'''Chris:''' I have watched the [[Wikipedia:Aladdin (film)|''Aladdin'']] movie a whole number of times. I would say greater than ten times. In my lifetime. At this point.

'''Dad:''' And you know how I know that was made for him, and not you? Because that song was their song. They know it by HEART. And that has always been their song.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Dad:''' You know they were going to sing it to each other at their wedding?

'''Chris:''' [''More silence''] I see.

'''Dad:''' Well, this, this is really...this has really been enlightening. Learning about just how unworthy a person can be for my daughter. How much of a...I have to congratulate you, though, because you totally did a great job at getting Kacey and Chris back together.

'''Kacey:''' [''Bursting in''] Seriously, Chris, how could you?! You've been so insulting to my father, and everything...Chris would never have done this! Maybe I did make a wrong decision! I don't think I can do this.

'''Chris:''' [''Heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' Maybe I was thinking of him all along, maybe I just displaced things. Just, I can't believe you would do this. I was crying, and all you did was argue with my father. You didn't even care enough to check on me, or see if you could talk to me, Chris would never have done that. Chris would have demanded to talk to me right away and he would have calmed me down. I mean, obviously you misunderstood me.

'''Chris:''' I guess...maybe I did.

'''Kacey:''' You know what? I don't want you. I don't want this, I don't need this right now. I have so much going on with finals and everything, and this is the way you're going to act? Yeah. My father's right. You're going to have to do something HUGE. You can't even work on the comic you promised me, you made me a stupid ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' thing. Where the Hell's the comic, Chris? You know what? You probably still won't make it. So you know what? I can't do this. You need to totally reform your life. I mean, Chris would have come by. He would have driven the two hours just to comfort me once he heard I was crying.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, if I knew where you were I would have driven two hours as well. But I did not know...

'''Kacey:''' You know you won't! You always want me to come to you. It's stupid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean... yeah, I would have asked, I mean, I did ask you for your address, but then... and I did ask you for your phone number.

'''Kacey:''' And I told you that you can't get it until you get my parents to trust you because you know they're overprotective! And you think this is the way you do it?! I bet you're not even gonna finish the comic! You can't even finish it tonight. Or anything. You can't do anything.

'''Chris:''' I can so.

'''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you're not motivated enough. Because you haven't done anything like that. You've promised me a song a long time ago, never got it. Chris has written me, like, three songs. You promised me tons of things, you never keep your promises. You just sit around playing video games, you made a stupid ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' thing for me. Come on. All I wanted was the damn comic, all I wanted was you just to pay attention. You don't even pick up the phone anymore because of the trolls, because of the [[stress|STRESS]]. I can't do this. I want a real man.

'''Kacey:''' [''Silence again''] You can't even say anything. Dad, I think you're totally right.

'''Dad:''' Yeah. Don't tell him where we live, I don't want my name and number, I don't want him to know my name and number.

'''Kacey:''' See?! Look what you've done, Chris. Look what you've done!

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like you're gonna do anything to make up for it. So you know what? I don't even care. Dad, you can do whatever, that's all he can say, I'm done.

'''Dad:''' I don't know, I don't think I want to get in trouble...

'''Kacey:''' He's not, Chris, screw this.

'''Dad:''' I don't want to get in trouble for beating the shit out of this faggot anyway.

'''Kacey:''' I'm gonna go, this is too much for me. You can finish this off, Dad.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' [''Silence reigns''] I would like to say...good evening.

'''Dad:''' So...what are you gonna do now?

[''Tape runs out'']

{{succession|label=Kacey Phone Calls|prevlink=[[Kacey Phone Call]]|nextlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=Y1N7JXQ3 mp3 of phonecall]
*Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SKLGsJC6R0 the call on YouTube]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

IRC (26 October 2008)

2011-01-05T15:44:06Z

SeventhBase:

In the early morning of 26 [[October 2008]], [[Chris]] chatted in [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] for about an hour.

==Summary==
This is one of Chris's earlier fan chats, taking place just after the climax of the [[Blanca Weiss]] saga. Thanks to the cumulative [[stress]] of losing Blanca and seeing his [[medallions]] immersed in pickle juice, on 21 October Chris [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashed into slumber]]. At this point Chris is trying to bounce back a bit.

The most historically significant element of the chat is Chris's first reference to [[Chloe]], one of the rare occasions where he's made up a [[sweetheart]] almost entirely out of thin air. He claims that they met at Gamestop, that they went to Taco Bell together, that she's gorgeous, that he's gotten to second base with her, and that she is his "VIRGIN-TAKER," but of course she is "shy" and doesn't want to be seen on the internet.

Chris's story doesn't hold any water on its face, but it's possible to spot some specific inconsistencies if one is familiar with the details of his life around this time. He claims to have met Chloe in mid-September, which means he was seeing her at the same time he was declaring (at the end of September) that Blanca was his one, true, divinely-ordained future partner. Likewise he claims that they officially hooked up in mid-October, before Blanca dumped him. If that was the case, why did losing Blanca hit him so hard? In any event, Chloe would be a short-lived phenomenon. Chris mentioned her in a video the next day, and then never again.

Besides the tales of Chloe, the chat features more of Chris's usual creepy sexual revelations. He advises one fan with a curiosity about sex toys to "talk to your mother about it," which inspires visions of a truly disturbing conversation between Chris and [[Barbara]] on the same subject. He also answers a privately messaged question from another troll with, "[[User:Falsion|Falsion]], you can have some of your stuff surgecally removed and put into your woman" - use your imagination.

On more mundane subjects, Chris says that he likes raisins and he wants to visit England someday, since his ancestors came from there. He's alright with censorship in the media, since it protects small children. Probably the funniest line of all, though, is a comment on his self-defense skills: "I've watched a lot of television, and I've taken a lot of P.E. Classes." We're sure that will serve you in good stead, Chris.

One troll repeatedly asks Chris what he would do "if [[Robert Simmons V|Robert Simmons]] raped Chloe and popped her virginity before you had a chance?" This prefigures [[Clyde Cash]] raping [[PandaHalo]] three months later, but it's probably a coincidence.

==Transcript==

[03:49:28] Guest joined.
 [03:49:29] Guest is now known as Guest1.
 [03:49:30] Fag\ is now known as Fag.
 [03:49:31] '''veronichan:''' haha
 [03:49:31] '''SonichFan1:''' omg omg omg omg
 [03:49:40] '''falsion:''' less obvious plz
 [03:49:40] Fag was kicked from the chat room by Sonee.
 [03:49:44] '''falsion:''' good
 [03:49:46] '''veronichan:''' must...roll...joint...quickly
 [03:49:49] '''SonichFan1:''' I am ripe with glee
 [03:49:56] '''SonichuZapsOfThunder:''' heyyy
 [03:49:58] '''SonichuGal:''' Chris, is that you? It's got a .va in your thingy.
 [03:50:03] '''Sonee:''' ?
 [03:50:05] '''falsion:''' it's him
 [03:50:09] Filbert joined.
 [03:50:10] '''falsion:''' Hey Chris
 [03:50:14] Guest1 is now known as ChrisChanSonichu.
 [03:50:15] '''SonichuGal:''' Remember Sonee, no foul language!
 [03:50:18] ChrisChanSonichu was promoted to operator by PandaHalo.
 [03:50:19] '''Sonee:''' Oops
 [03:50:22] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Hey, Yall!
 [03:50:23] '''Sonee:''' Sorry guys =(
 [03:50:24] '''SonichuGal:''' Hurray! It's Chris! Heya Chris!
 [03:50:27] '''SONICHUZAPSLIKELIGHTNING:''' omgomgomgomg
 [03:50:27] '''falsion:''' Good to see you.
 [03:50:35] '''Filbert:''' Hello Chris!
 [03:50:39] '''Sonichu_Fan:''' Hey Chris!
 [03:50:40] '''MagichanSonichu:''' Hi Chris!
 [03:50:46] '''Sonichu_Fan:''' How are you?
 [03:50:46] '''veronichan:''' Wow! Cool!
 [03:50:48] '''Sonichu_Fan:''' :D
 [03:50:50] '''SonichuZapsOfThunder:''' Hello chris.
 [03:50:51] knuckip: mr. chandler, are you going to make a new comic anytime soon?
 [03:50:52] '''Filbert:''' I love Sonichu.
 [03:50:53] '''SonichFan1:''' Hey Christian Weston Chandler. I am your biggest fan. Sonichu is such an inspiration to me
 [03:51:03] '''SonichuZapsOfThunder:''' ditto
 [03:51:07] '''PandaHalo:''' Hey Christian , how is the video going that you were going to make to address the fan questions?
 [03:51:09] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I'm still working on the 18th Episode, and it's going well.
 [03:51:10] chris_chan_is_numero_uno: We love you, Christian!
 [03:51:15] '''SonichuGal:''' Please people, let's try and keep questions one at a time, Allow someone to ask a question and Chris to answer it.
 [03:51:17] '''PandaHalo:''' we're all REALLY excited about it!
 [03:51:17] '''MagichanSonichu:''' Chris, we hear your heart is back at 100%! That is great news, but how?
 [03:51:21] '''falsion:''' Stop spamming
 [03:51:31] PandaHalo made this room moderated for normal users.
 [03:51:32] '''falsion:''' Okay, slowly now.
 [03:51:44] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I have a Real Woman in my life now.
 [03:51:48] '''falsion:''' You do?
 [03:51:53] '''SonichuGal:''' Tell us more! Is she nice?
 [03:52:02] '''falsion:''' You did like I said didn't you?
 [03:52:04] '''Sonee:''' Sonee! Sonee!
 [03:52:06] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' she is nice.
 [03:52:07] '''falsion:''' That's good to hear, man
 [03:52:08] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' yes
 [03:52:16] '''SonichuGal:''' Can you tell us what she looks like?
 [03:52:16] '''falsion:''' That's awesome
 [03:52:27] '''SonichuGal:''' Is she hot ;)?
 [03:52:40] '''falsion:''' I told you, you could do it.
 [03:52:47] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' she is not only hawt, but positively gorgeous.
 [03:52:56] '''falsion:''' You don't need the internet to talk to a girl. You've got the skills to make it happen in real life.
 [03:53:01] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' yep.
 [03:53:13] '''falsion:''' Man, that's reallly good to hear
 [03:53:17] '''cogsdev:''' i'm so happy for you chris
 [03:53:43] '''SonichuGal:''' If you have a question for Chris, PM a mod and we'll ask Chris.
 [03:53:55] '''Sonee:''' This is a In-Person girl?
 [03:54:04] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Yes
 [03:54:11] '''Sonee:''' Wow
 [03:54:44] Guest joined.
 [03:54:49] '''falsion:''' Chris. I don't know how to say this. Remember how I said that I had trouble talking to girls and decided to maybe just give up altogther? Well, something else came up.
 [03:55:13] Guest_ joined.
 [03:55:13] '''falsion:''' What would you do in this situation?
 [03:55:37] '''Sonee:''' Remember fellow Sonichu fans: PM a mod with your question to ask the Big CWC!
 [03:55:38] Guest was granted voice by PandaHalo.
 [03:55:40] Guest_ was granted voice by PandaHalo.
 [03:55:48] '''falsion:''' I'm embarressed to say this in front of everyone, but I know I can trust your advice.
 [03:55:50] Guest is now known as steventheeunuch.
 [03:56:00] Guest_ is now known as Ayatollah.
 [03:56:02] '''steventheeunuch:''' Hi falsion
 [03:56:26] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' falsion, listen, if the woman truly loves you, it will not matter to her rather or not you're impotent.
 [03:56:44] '''PandaHalo:''' Chris, when will the fan video be out?
 [03:57:00] falsion left.
 [03:57:04] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' just don't go blurting all over the place about your impotence.
 [03:57:08] '''Sonee:''' CWC, how long have you and your new gal been seeing each other?
 [03:57:12] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Monday.
 [03:57:23] falsion joined.
 [03:57:24] falsion was promoted to operator by [^_^].
 [03:57:28] '''falsion:''' Sorry, I got disconnected
 [03:57:30] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' for a short while now.
 [03:58:02] '''falsion:''' Chris, did you see my question?
 [03:58:14] '''steventheeunuch:''' Hi chris, sorry to interrupt, but I sent you a message over youtube about dating advice- Im a life coach and part of my job is to help people when it comes to courting men/women, and I was wondering if ever you wanted to chat about that?
 [03:58:16] '''Sonee:''' SonichuFan1 wants to know: Have you had a kiss yet with da new lady?
 [03:59:03] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Falsion, you can have some of your stuff surgecally removed and put into your woman.
 [03:59:03] PandaHalo removed the ban on *!*@Rizon-FCC1C55A.lv.lv.cox.net.
 [03:59:11] '''falsion:''' I can?
 [03:59:48] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I'm okay, steventheeunuch; yes, and her name is Chloe; yes, falsion, just ask a doctor about that procedure.
 [03:59:53] NipplesOfSillyness joined.
 [03:59:58] '''falsion:''' What about adoption? Is that a good option in your opinion?
 [03:59:59] '''SonichuGal:''' Chris, filbert asks: if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you want to go?
 [04:00:06] NipplesOfSillyness left.
 [04:00:07] '''falsion:''' also sorry to cut into other peoples question time
 [04:00:10] '''steventheeunuch:''' Chris: have you met her in real life yet?
 [04:00:12] '''falsion:''' but i really need to know this
 [04:00:18] '''SonichuGal:''' steve, he's said it's in person.
 [04:00:36] '''steventheeunuch:''' Oh I see i see
 [04:00:46] '''falsion:''' I'm sure you all understand what I'm going through right now. I apologize
 [04:00:46] '''Sonee:''' SonichuFan1: Wants to know: I tried calling your fhouse but your parents got mad! Is there a way to talk directly with Christian Chandler?
 [04:01:12] DOUKNOUKEM left.
 [04:01:44] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' England; yes; soon enough; only if you are nice about it when you call.
 [04:02:14] sonichuslover joined.
 [04:02:14] '''Ayatollah:''' Why would you want to go to England may I ask?
 [04:02:45] sonichuslover left.
 [04:02:47] '''steventheeunuch:''' Do you consider the possibility of chloe being a fake?
 [04:02:51] sonichuslover joined.
 [04:03:09] '''steventheeunuch:''' *no offence and nothing implied*
 [04:04:18] '''falsion:''' Chris, are you still with us?
 [04:04:24] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Because I have ancestors from jolly ol' England; she is not a fake, we have met in person.
 [04:04:27] '''steventheeunuch:''' Its oh, so, quiet
 [04:05:00] '''SonichuGal:''' Please steve, other people have questions they're waiting to be asked.
 [04:05:03] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Also, Chloe is shy and currently doesn't want her face on the internet currently.
 [04:05:16] [[BILLY_MAYS]] joined.
 [04:05:29] steventheeunuch had voice removed by SonichuGal.
 [04:06:15] '''Sonee:''' SonichuFan1 wants to know: I have a hard time talking on the phone and I need to communicate with iprelay?
 [04:06:26] sonichuslover left.
 [04:06:27] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I have pictures, but I refuse to upload them onto the internet; I have male acquaintances, and I still will feel how I feel about them as I do now.
 [04:06:40] '''Sonee:''' I believe he means if you know of iprelay and would like to speak with SonichuFan1 in this manner?
 [04:07:02] '''falsion:''' IPRelay is where a person types something to an operator and the operator talks to you
 [04:07:12] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I'm sorry, but that method of communication is very annoying to me, and I do not care for it much, goahead
 [04:07:29] '''SonichuGal:''' Chris, SonichuZapsOfLightening asks if you've ever been in a fight with someone other than a jerkop/manajerk/etc.
 [04:07:46] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' no comment.
 [04:07:51] '''SonichuGal:''' Fair enough.
 [04:08:04] '''Sonee:''' cogsdev wants to know: i have not left my house in two years and am terrified of showing my face in public. Does chris have any advice to help me overcome my problems and get back to school?
 [04:08:05] '''Ayatollah:''' Christian, If I may ask, do you find relationships online to be as satisfying as ones in the outside world?
 [04:08:22] sonichuslover joined.
 [04:09:05] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Suck it up and dive right into the public scene; 3/4 as satisfying.
 [04:09:13] sonichuslover was granted voice by PandaHalo.
 [04:09:23] sonichuslover: yay
 [04:09:42] Ayatollah had voice removed by SonichuGal.
 [04:09:46] sonichuslover had voice removed by SonichuGal.
 [04:09:47] '''Sonee:''' MagichanSonichu wants to know: How did you meet the new girl if you were banned from other places?
 [04:10:40] SonicusPrime joined.
 [04:10:56] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' We met at the Gamestop; we were both preordering LittleBiGPlanet at the same time.
 [04:11:32] '''Sonee:''' I believe I have skipped over another mod that had a question, if one has a question from a fan please do so
 [04:11:39] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' it just happened with the Emotional Spark of the moment. :)
 [04:11:55] '''falsion:''' Sega4ever wants to know what you think about Muslims delaying LittleBigPlanet, any thoughts?
 [04:12:20] eifer joined.
 [04:12:29] '''falsion:''' They delayed the game because they did not want a song that was used in the game to be used if I recall correctly
 [04:12:36] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Crazy.
 [04:12:55] '''falsion:''' I know, it is now that you mention it
 [04:13:16] '''SonichuGal:''' Christian, Filbert also wants to know - do you like raisins?
 [04:13:23] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' the two lyrics from that song translated to sentences of an apocolypse; they didn't want the children who were playing it to get that idea and be stressed.
 [04:13:27] Sandmastah_ joined.
 [04:13:49] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' but the song was in another language; it wouldn't have been understood in most countries.
 [04:13:57] '''falsion:''' yeah, it makes no sense
 [04:14:07] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Also, SONY COULD HAVE made a downloadable patch to delete that song from the game, or hidden it.
 [04:14:08] '''falsion:''' its like they do it for attention
 [04:14:21] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' what kind of raisins; the fruit?
 [04:14:35] '''SonichuGal:''' Yes, the fruit.
 [04:14:46] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' yes, I like Raisins.
 [04:14:46] '''SonichuGal:''' Haha, I remember the Californian Raisins.
 [04:15:19] '''falsion:''' one of the zelda games got delayed for the same reason if I recall correctly.
 [04:15:42] Guest joined.
 [04:15:43] '''falsion:''' Hmm, Chris. What is your opinion on this kind of censorship? I mean, people censoring things for reasons like this, some which don't really make a lot of sense.
 [04:15:52] '''Sonee:''' steventheeunuch wants to know: With Chloe, are you dating, or have you only met once? Subsequently, have you kissed yet?
 [04:15:53] Guest was granted voice by PandaHalo.
 [04:16:00] Guest is now known as HorniGal.
 [04:16:10] '''SonichuGal:''' Hold one other mods, let's have Chris have a chance ot answer each question carefully and thoughtfully.
 [04:16:20] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' Censorship is good.
 [04:16:21] '''falsion:''' ok sorry
 [04:16:39] '''HorniGal:''' Chris I have a question. I'm a really really horny girl, and I remember hearing you talk about how girls can put bananas in their pussy, but i have no bananas. What else could i use?
 [04:16:41] '''falsion:''' But sometimes it goes too far, don't you think? Someone doesn't like something and they want it removed.
 [04:16:54] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' we have dated; our first date was at a Taco Bell, and we have kissed deeply.
 [04:17:01] HorniGal was kicked from the chat room by SonichuGal.
 [04:17:24] '''falsion:''' steventheeunuch asks "in what regards and to what extent censorship is good?"
 [04:17:26] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' a plastic dildo, girl.
 [04:17:27] Guest joined.
 [04:17:36] Laurie joined.
 [04:17:38] Guest was granted voice by PandaHalo.
 [04:17:44] Guest is now known as HorniGal.
 [04:17:50] '''HorniGal:''' where could i get one of those dildos from?
 [04:17:50] Physaris left.
 [04:17:50] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' to censor language and naughty bits from the younger viewers.
 [04:17:55] '''Sonee:''' MagichanSonichu wants to know: Now that your Love Quest is over, do you forgive [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Wlash]]?
 [04:18:13] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I prefer not to think about that B****
 [04:18:32] Physaris joined.
 [04:19:06] '''Sonee:''' Gilbert wants to know: What do you think of the Digimon and Monster Rancher animes?
 [04:19:23] '''falsion:''' Do you think that some people will go to far to censor things? I mean, say a group doesn't beleive in God and wants it removed from public usage or some form of media.
 [04:19:30] Parakarry left.
 [04:19:35] '''falsion:''' ok sorry i'll shut up now
 [04:19:40] HorniGal had voice removed by SonichuGal.
 [04:19:41] '''falsion:''' i've had enough time to ask questions hehe
 [04:19:44] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' both animes are okay, but I have not played the games.
 [04:20:02] '''falsion:''' but people are wanting to know that as well it seems
 [04:20:04] HorniGal was granted voice by PandaHalo.
 [04:20:07] '''Sonee:''' MagichanSonichu wants to ask: have you told Chloe about Crystal Weston Chandler yet?
 [04:20:14] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' with the current levels of censorship in the media, I feel it is okay.
 [04:20:54] Guest joined.
 [04:20:54] Physaris left.
 [04:20:58] '''SonichuGal:''' Christian, SonichuZapsOfThunder wonders if Christian and the Hedgehog Boys will ever "reunite" or in other words - can we expect to hear more of your original songs from you?
 [04:21:12] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' not at the moment.
 [04:21:24] Physaris joined.
 [04:21:45] '''HorniGal:''' Christian, I really like it when my boyfriend makes love to me in my ass. It feels just as good as my vag***. I am wondering, what do you think of anal sex between a boy and a girl? (NOT BOY AND BOY)
 [04:22:12] '''Sonee:''' SonichuFan1 wants to know: Have you made it to second base with Chloe? Inquiring minds want to know ;)
 [04:22:22] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' between boy and girl, I see no problem.
 [04:22:29] '''falsion:''' How is that possible though?
 [04:23:01] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' yes, we have done second.
 [04:23:01] '''falsion:''' I was thinking the other way around
 [04:23:22] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' with a strap-on dildo for the woman.
 [04:23:36] '''falsion:''' sounds painful
 [04:24:04] '''Sonee:''' Yes
 [04:24:10] '''HorniGal:''' me and my boyfriend would love for me to get a strap on dildo, do you know where i could get one and how it would work?
 [04:24:25] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' http://www.adameve.com
 [04:24:25] '''Sonee:''' SonicusPrime wants to know: I heard you changed your name when you were younger, could you explain?
 [04:24:52] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I'll answer that question in my next video
 [04:24:58] '''SonichuGal:''' I can confirm, AdamAndEve has some great stuff ;)
 [04:25:19] '''Sonee:''' veronichan wants to know: what are some upcoming twists & turns in future comics?
 [04:25:34] '''SonichuGal:''' Veronichan, I don't think Chris wants to spoil his comic for us fans!
 [04:26:02] '''falsion:''' Protoman wants to know what will happen if Chloe finds your ED page, since in the past, that has broken your relationships up. Are you worried about that or taking any steps to prevent that?
 [04:26:21] '''HorniGal:''' christian, what other things does adam and eve have that you would recommend for me and my boyfriend who want to try new fun sexual things
 [04:26:52] '''SonichuGal:''' PLEASE one at a time, we don't want to overwhelm Christian with too many questions at once.
 [04:27:05] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' SHE IS MY VIRGIN-TAKER; no spoilers at the moment; she has found it, and has ignored it with a grain of salt; that depends on what you'd like to try, have a look around.
 [04:27:35] '''SonichuGal:''' Wait Chris, has she already taken it?
 [04:27:51] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I am a gentleman.
 [04:28:07] '''Sonee:''' MagichanSOnichu wants to know: Have you showed Chloe Sonichu yet? And if so how does she feel about it?
 [04:28:26] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' She Loves the stories of Sonichu, Rosechu and myself.
 [04:28:48] '''HorniGal:''' christian, what other things does adam and eve have that you would recommend for me and my boyfriend who want to try new fun sexual things
 [04:28:56] '''Sonee:''' BILLY_MAYS wants to know: Despite being a fan of your work, I admit I have experimented with tobacco and alcohol. I share your view they are very bad things, but felt I had to see for myself. How do you justify condeming things you have never experienced?
 [04:29:51] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' the educational DVDs for one thing; second-hand smoke...ugh :(
 [04:30:30] '''SonichuGal:''' Veronichan asks " Rosiechu is my favorite character. Would he mind if I named my gerbil after her?"
 [04:30:35] '''HorniGal:''' I have a question. My boyfriend wants me to invite one of my friends in to the bedroom for some threesome sex. Should i say yes?
 [04:30:49] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' that's cool; that's cool.
 [04:31:04] '''Sonee:''' sonichuslover wants to know: How long ago did you meet Chloe?
 [04:31:22] '''HorniGal:''' would you have a threesome with chloe?
 [04:31:23] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I met her mid-September
 [04:31:45] '''HorniGal:''' you say it is cool for two girls and a guy, what about two guys and a girl?
 [04:31:57] '''Sonee:''' Filbert wants to know: Do you find hentai to be a turn-on?
 [04:32:06] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' NO WAY; yes
 [04:32:28] '''falsion:''' I just looked at the AdamEve page. I've never considered sex toys before. I never even know they made them for guys. You've used them before, correct? Do you think they are satisfying enough to, well, you know, ease the lonliness of not having a woman to do it with? Are they a decent substitute, or at least thing to ease you over until then?
 [04:33:14] '''SonichuGal:''' I can say from my experience that AdamAndEve's sex toy lines are quite satisfying ;)
 [04:33:17] '''falsion:''' I wonder what my mom would think if I ordered some though, she would kick me out of the house and never talk to me again.
 [04:33:20] '''Sonee:''' SonichuFan1 wants to know: I heard Jimmy Hill just made 1 million on Sonichu merchandise and DVDs, what are you going to do??
 [04:33:27] '''falsion:''' It's tempting but
 [04:33:41] '''HorniGal:''' Chris, does your mother know you buy sex toys?
 [04:33:42] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' to me, they are close enough, but not as satisfying as the real woman (reference to the love doll); just talk to your mother about it.
 [04:33:57] Guest_ joined.
 [04:34:03] '''falsion:''' Well, I'd rather not. She'll well.. kick my ass
 [04:34:20] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' then go ahead; who is she to stop you.
 [04:34:38] '''Sonee:''' steventheeunuch wants to know: You met Chloe in mid-September but when did you become Sweethearts?
 [04:34:41] '''falsion:''' i dunno i live in her house
 [04:35:07] '''HorniGal:''' Chris, would you like chloe to use a strap on with you?
 [04:35:11] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' after a month
 [04:35:51] '''HorniGal:''' If Chloe wanted you to pee on her in a golden shower, would you?
 [04:35:56] '''Sonee:''' cogsdev wants to know: I would like it if Chris could elaborate on his previous answer with any tips he has for building up my confidence, so I can "dive right in" as he suggested. I don't think it'll be as easy as he makes it sound, as the main reason I stopped going to school was due to bullying.
 [04:35:57] '''SonichuGal:''' Yuck!
 [04:36:48] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' maybe; talk to some women on the internet, but do not expect a relationship out of it right away.
 [04:37:14] '''falsion:''' Chris, would you ever consider moving out of your house? My mom always tells me "You can't live here forever. I won't always be here to support you." I mean, is she right? Do you agree with that?
 [04:37:32] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' possibly; yes
 [04:37:36] '''Sonee:''' steventheeunuch wants to know: do you find taco bell to be an overly inappropriate place to bring a woman for a first date, considering you are grown adults?
 [04:37:52] '''SonichuGal:''' Hey, Taco Bell has great food at low prices!
 [04:37:53] '''falsion:''' Chris, could you elaborate on that?
 [04:37:55] '''SonichuGal:''' THINK OUTSIDE THE BUN!
 [04:38:06] '''falsion:''' i'm sorry but i really need to know and a lot of people are asking me the same thing
 [04:38:14] LordKaT left.
 [04:38:40] '''falsion:''' Say if something happened to your parents (pray that never happens but), what would you do?
 [04:38:47] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' your family is going to pass on eventually; you'll need to be able to support yourself, or have a sweetheart for support sooner or later.
 [04:39:14] '''Sonee:''' sonichuslover wants to know: when did you get to second base with Chloe?
 [04:39:15] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I'm fully capable of doing the [[chores]] around my house should that happen, god forbid.
 [04:39:31] '''falsion:''' Yeah, but I'm worried who is going to pay expenses
 [04:39:38] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' no comment. :)
 [04:39:40] '''HorniGal:''' Chris, you didn't answer my questions about golden showers :(
 [04:39:44] '''SonichuGal:''' Christian, SonichuZapsOfThunder would like to know if you plan on incorporating Chloe into your Sonichu comics.
 [04:39:53] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I said maybe, hornigal
 [04:40:00] '''HorniGal:''' oh sorry i must have missed it :(
 [04:40:02] '''SonichuGal:''' See? ;)
 [04:40:03] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' yes
 [04:40:20] '''Sonee:''' SonicusPrime wants to know: has anyone offered to make Sonichu action figures?
 [04:40:34] '''HorniGal:''' Christian, me and my boyfriend are going to dress up like sonichu and rosechu and have sex later and take photos. Would you like some copies of the photos?
 [04:40:44] '''falsion:''' Chris, what about expenses and such? I apologize for interupting anyone elses question but there is nobody else I can really talk to or relates to me on this issue
 [04:40:46] '''SonichuGal:''' I would!
 [04:40:48] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' no, but I am capable of designing rough designs on paper or Crayola Model Magic.
 [04:40:57] '''falsion:''' Like if my mom someday couldn't be there to pay them
 [04:41:24] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' no, thank you, HorniGal; get a job or career.
 [04:41:36] '''Sonee:''' steventheeunuch wants to know: why cant you do the supporting? Isnt that the role of a man, to support the woman, not the other way around?
 [04:41:38] '''falsion:''' yeah but my disability prevents that from happening
 [04:42:05] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I will be supporting her as the Househusband.
 [04:42:43] '''HorniGal:''' what about if your wife dies and you're left with a child and no job to support that child?
 [04:42:55] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I'll get a job.
 [04:42:58] '''falsion:''' was that to me? i'm a guy
 [04:43:09] '''HorniGal:''' are you gay falsioN?
 [04:43:12] '''falsion:''' no
 [04:43:14] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' oh, I'm sorry; *girlfriend.
 [04:43:14] '''Sonee:''' MagichanSonichu wants to know: Recently, Family Guy had a sketch that resembled Christian's. I wonder if he thinks they used his idea.
 [04:43:25] '''HorniGal:''' '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' what would you do if Chloe left you for Robert Simmons?
 [04:43:29] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' what?
 [04:43:54] '''SonichuGal:''' She's referring to Mort Goldman accidently thinking Stewie's time machine was a bathroom
 [04:44:09] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' that can be taken from anywhere.
 [04:44:09] '''SonichuGal:''' And it looked IDENTICAL to the Ghost Neutral chamber from your comic.
 [04:44:12] '''HorniGal:''' what would you do if Robert Simmons raped Chloe and popped her virginity before you had a chance? Would you still love chloe even though she wasn't a virgin?
 [04:44:23] '''falsion:''' Chris, maybe if I get a girlfriend like you someday. But the economy is kinda downtrodden right now. I don't think just one person working is enough to sustain living expenses now these days.
 [04:44:34] EXKeine joined.
 [04:44:35] '''falsion:''' i'll let everyone else talk now
 [04:44:57] '''Sonee:''' RachmaninovDESU wants to know: what kind of job would you like to have?
 [04:45:42] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' something with Computer Aided Drafting & Design.
 [04:45:51] loony joined.
 [04:46:00] '''falsion:''' Do you find that enjoyable? What made you choose that career path?
 [04:46:13] knuckip left.
 [04:46:14] '''falsion:''' as to what I want to do as far as a major
 [04:46:26] '''HorniGal:''' Chrischan, My boyfriend says he wants to rape your girlfriend
 [04:46:44] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I have two CADD degrees.
 [04:46:46] '''HorniGal:''' if you dont reply, i'll assume you want it to happen
 [04:46:46] '''SonichuGal:''' I bet Chris would kick him in the teeth.
 [04:47:02] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' HorniGal, Shut Up.
 [04:47:29] '''Sonee:''' Yes please, be more plite & courteous with your quesitions like everyone else
 [04:47:31] '''falsion:''' Chris, tell me more about CADD. Is it enjoyable?
 [04:47:34] '''Sonee:''' *polite
 [04:47:40] '''falsion:''' Is it a good career path in your opinion
 [04:48:01] HorniGal was kicked from the chat room by [^_^].
 [04:48:32] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' it's okay.
 [04:48:57] '''falsion:''' would you mind elaborating?
 [04:49:48] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' basically, you're designing parts and buildings on the computer.
 [04:49:55] '''falsion:''' hmm
 [04:50:01] '''Sonee:''' steventheeunuch wants to know: I don't mean to be insulting but are you capable of kicking a man in his teeth? You dont look flexible enough to lift your leg above your waist, nor fit enough
 [04:50:29] '''SonichuGal:''' I absolutely think Chris could.
 [04:50:37] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I AM capable.
 [04:50:39] '''falsion:''' Chris wouldn't do it, he's a nice guy. Right? Or do you have a sort of side that you don't show to people
 [04:50:43] SonichuZapsOfThunder left.
 [04:50:46] '''falsion:''' sort of a mean streak
 [04:50:48] SonichuZapsOfThunder joined.
 [04:50:48] '''falsion:''' if you will
 [04:50:52] '''SonichuGal:''' I think Chris would in self defence.
 [04:50:58] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' self-defense
 [04:51:15] '''falsion:''' Have you ever taken any self defense or karate lessons?
 [04:52:01] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' in a way; I've watched a lot of television, and I've taken a lot of P.E. Classes.
 [04:52:13] '''falsion:''' Ah, you mean like kung fu movies?
 [04:52:18] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' yes.
 [04:52:32] '''falsion:''' Who's your favorite Kung Fu movie actor?
 [04:52:52] '''ChrisChanSonichu:''' I'm tired for now, plus I have church, so I'll answer more questions next time, as well as in the video.
 [04:52:59] '''SonichuGal:''' Sure!
 [04:53:07] ChrisChanSonichu left.

{{FanChats}}
[[Category: Historical Documents]]
[[Category: IRC]]

CWC Blog

2011-01-05T15:43:34Z

SeventhBase:

__NOTOC__
{{Honest}}

The '''CWC Blog''' or '''Captain's Log''' (no relation to [[Captain's Log|the video logs]]) section of [[CWCipedia]] was where Chris told the world about his goings-on when he's too lazy to fire up his [[PSEye]] and do a proper [[YouTube]] video, from [[August 2009]] to [[May 2010]]. And given how much time his fat ass was plopped in front of his [[PS3]], that's extraordinarily lazy.

Chris hardly used this section of the CWCipedia in its early days. The only message in this section for months was a post about some HONEST TRUTHS regarding trolls, merchandising, and his [[homos|straightness]]. But usage of this section started heating up after [[Kacey]] left him and his copyright was challenged. He began to post some updates about his copyright situation, about trying to work with [[Vivian Gee]] to get a cut of the money she earned through her [[Audiobooks]], and to give excuses for why he once again hasn't gotten around to scribbling out his [[Sonichu (comic)|shit comic]]. He's likely using this section in an attempt to show the world that he does such [[Father Call|HARD WORK]] on the comic in order to win the [[China|respect]] of Kacey or possibly other future [[sweethearts]].

The headings of the following entries are dated in Chris's time zone, though the times and dates that appear at the end of each blog post are inserted by the wiki and are in Central European Time, so they may reflect a date different from Chris's viewpoint.

==August 2009==

===24 August 2009===

I wish to make a few points of [[Honest Truth]] here.

1. THERE ARE NO OFFICIAL [[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]] or [[Rosechu|ROSECHU]] MERCHANDISE YET. I WAS NEVER AT THE OTAKON. [[CChanSonichuCWC|The guy in the Brown Stripes]] claiming to be me is [[Ian Brandon Anderson|An Impostor]] and A Poser. DO NOT BUY ANYTHING UNTIL I GIVE THE WORD ON THE "CAPTAIN'S LOG" Personally that it would be Official and Legitimate.

2. Ignore ALL [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"Videos" portraying me in a Wrong Sense]], ESPECIALLY IF IT IS NOT on MY TRUE YouTube Account, '''ChristianWChandler'''.

3. I have called myself a [[trolls|Troll]], because I am Trolling my Trolls Back, so in a Sense, I, [[Christian Weston Chandler]], am a Troll, but I am NOT A TROLL to any and all [[True_and_Loyal_Fanbase|Honest, True People]].

4. "It Is Okay To Be [[naive|STUPID]] Sometimes"; It Is Not Okay To Be [[homos|Homosexual]] and Boast About it as well. BUT I will personally Not Judge one or Separate any individual People as such; I am cool with being Friends with the homosexuals. BUT LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR, AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY QUESTIONS AFTER I HAVE MADE IT CLEAR SOO MANY TIMES,

5. '''I, Christopher Christian Weston Chandler [[Homos#Evidence_that_Chris_is_a_homo|AM STRAIGHT]].'''

6. I can work faster with '''Good, Honest [[Show_RESPECT_to_me%2C_"C"CWC|R-E-S-P-E-C-T]]'''. "Find out what it means to me."

Have good faith in me, and the True, Good and Loyal amongst you all shall be rewarded.

I am Working Hard on getting officially Paper-Published, with Official Sonichu, Rosechu and C.W.C. Merchandise that I will personally sign-off on to follow.

Have a good, safe day. Peace, --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 21:27, 24 August 2009 (CEST)

==November 2009==

===19 November 2009===

[[Image:CaptiansLogNov19.JPG|thumb|[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'M WORKIN' ONNIT]]!]]

I apologize, but I came up blank on today's page; I am working on it until I have the right idea in my head before I start drawing. But I wanted to make sure I do not leave the Cwcipedia unattended, so I am going to make the "Captian's Log" my Blog Spot (a Quote should only be a quote and not a blog entry).

When I have an update, I will post them here, with an archive; link listed below. If [[Slow-in-the-minds|I come up blank]] one day, I will make an update such as this, or start a new Cwcipedia page for a character or topic, in lieu of a comic page that day; this is a promise.

Other issues on my mind in [[Cwcville]] are a video introducing Sonichu to the companies (it may be a two-part video), with advising guidelines provided generously by [[Vivian]], which I deeply appreciate and will use for the script of the video. Thank you, Vivian.

Trolls have been a pain to me in the past, but I will have them all know that their attacks, be they via hurtful phone calls, e-mail or snail-mail, in no way affect me emotionally or mentally. So they can take that and go Get A Life.

I have brought up the new [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag Mailbag] page to the Portal, because these inputs have been brought to my attention, so I will offer personal individual replies to each new set of messages once a week, although I would prefer e-mails to my personal e-mail address, or you may direct your questions to cwcipedia@virginia.usa.com so they would be added to the [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag Mailbag] alternatively.

Thank you all for your good and honest patience, faith and patronage.

Have a good and safe day

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 01:29, 20 November 2009 (CET)

===Audiobooks and Videobooks===
*''This message was left at the bottom of the Captain's log space on 19 November and remained there until 25 November, at which point it was given its own page.''

Attention, for all those who have purchased the [[Audiobooks|"Sonichu Audiobook DVD"]], please Direct ALL questions, comments and complaints to the owner of this youtube account, http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg#grid/user/4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1, Vivian Gee at her e-mail address, starroadgeno@hotmail.com.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, in the past disproved her [[parody|parodic]] and flawed audiobooks and her DVD creations and sales. But due to the [[Chris and Anger|Peace of Mind]] I have finally found, I am in talks with her to make her DVDs an Official Sonichu Merchandise Item with my Approval and a few tweaks, of course.

While I can honestly relate to the content of her Audiobooks, I am not personally responsible for their original creation. To view [[Videobooks|MY Audiobook Readings]], visit the Videobooks section of this website, CWC's Sonichu Site, A.K.A, Cwcipedia.

Thank you all for your continued patronage and support. And please encourage Vivian to come in agreement with me not only for better, and Personally Approved, Audiobook DVDs, but for a better chance for Official Sonichu Merchandise to come sooner.

Again, Vivian's e-mail is starroadgeno@hotmail.com.

===20 November 2009===

Page 81 is drawn, colored, edited and up. For the page, let me offer my personal commentary. [[autism|I hit the block]] yesterday, because I realized that [[Liquid_Chris#In_the_comic|"Chris"]] was originally planned for [[Giovanni]]'s blackmail deal; "Proclaim obedience and control of the city to "Chris", or [[Rosechu]] will die." I later remembered [[Reldnahc]], so I put him in that situation instead.

Upon reflection, I feel this is a better story plot, because Naitsirhc is of more close connection to Giovanni than "Chris" was, plus it gave me the chance to start the link between him and the Devils at "[[4-cent_garbage.com|4-Cent Garbage]]".

Also, let me elaborate, without a plan, it takes me longer to think of what I want to draw and how to draw the scenarios and characters onto the page. But when I have the idea, the roll starts, and the page is drawn. Drawing a page at its best takes an hour at the most, then the coloring takes about half an hour, unless I have a new character on the page and have to choose the color-scheme for that character.

With this page-a-day flow, don't be surprised if more than one page shows up on the Cwcipedia in the same day. ;) But I take my time in thinking, drawing, coloring and all that.

Have a good and safe day,

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 02:33, 21 November 2009 (CET)

===23 November 2009===
[[Image:Gay&PickleAds.JPG|thumb|right|The offending ads in question.]]
I have been busy looking up numbers to get in touch with the people of the videogame, toy, video, and comic industries to make the merchandise come to fruition. Today, I have created and am uploading 4 Videos introducing Sonichu to those people. Firstly, a Personal Presentation, followed by the Powerpoint Presentation. After each fully uploaded video, I will be adding them to the Sonichu Presentations page. Expect all the videos uploaded before midnight tonight and a new page or two tomorrow.

Stay Safe,

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 03:23, 24 November 2009 (CET)

P.S.

The following ads that have been displayed on this website, the [[Pickle|Mexico Contest]] and the (UGH!!!!) [[Homos|gay-rights ads]], will be edited (Mexico Contest) or Removed (gay-rights). I have Not approved EITHER ad before their arrival, and I have informed the sysop of this misdeed. GOD!!!

===25 November 2009===
I will be reading and answering the current set of fanmail in the Mailbag shortly after I upload today's page 86.

Considering tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I will make effort to draw 3 or 4 pages and upload them either then or Friday, depending on the time it comes to be upon completion of the goal number.

Also, I have been thinking, although all Sonichu "Merchandise" sold online in the past I have labeled false; I did that, because it came as a surprise to me then, I felt outraged appropriately (most everyone can relate to that; it's comparable to if Godzilla or Clover came to YOUR Metropolis and suddenly attacked your city). I realize now that even though it is still considerably Not Official, it all still is an homage to my creation. So I will make it clear to ALL those Vendors.

As long as it is NOT printed copies of my books' pages, or bootlegged copies of [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|my "Christian Weston Chandler, Yep, I'm On T.V." DVD]], AND As Long As I am quoted on ALL websites' and vendors' locations as Original Creator of Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and all of such, I, Christian Weston Chandler, approve of such merchandise from Day Forward. At least to give you all, my patient, loyal Fans and Trolls, something to quell your pallets until Official Merchandise is sold in Official Stores such as Toys 'R' Us, [[GameStop]], Best Buy, [[Wal-Mart]], etcetera and such.

I have spoken, and I wish everyone a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 02:17, 26 November 2009 (CET)

===29 November 2009===

Here's the page for today. I had already explained that I was setting my mind on the mailbox reply yesterday, so that was yesterday's update.

Anyway, a couple of things. Firstly, this morning, I was asked to light the First of the four [[Wikipedia:Advent wreath|Advent Candles]] at my [[Wesley Methodist Church|Church]]. I felt delighted and honored, and I gave my best on reading the bible verse with the lighting. Everyone there praised me for my [[Autism|good reading]] and [[Speech impediment|speech quality]]; I felt good.

Second, a piece of sound advice I had thought of after I drew page 91 of the [[Sonichu 9|9th book]]. Back when I was in [[Manchester High School|high school]] during my Freshman year, during the time I was a Manager of the Varsity [[Basketball]] Team, I had a crush on [[Laura Dorazio|one of the cheerleaders]]. Among the whole group though, they all enjoyed my company and [[Random-access humor|good humor]]. Anyway, the cheerleader I had the crush on, she asked me if I had a crush on anyone; I answered [[honesty|honestly]]. Then she asked who. Blushing, I told her that I was crushing on her. She took some time to think about it, and she told me later that while [[Friend zone|she liked me as a friend]], [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|she did not see me as boyfriend material at the time]]. I later learned that she was Two Grades ahead of me. Live and Learn; at least I tried.

And with that, I encourage EVERYONE to date someone to hopefully make into a [[Sweetheart]] (with [[third date|eventual benefits]]). It is harder when you are a Freshman, so I'd wait until the Sophomore year before setting my sights on nearly every [[boyfriend-free girl|girl]] I [[pedo-glasses|saw]]. But as a Freshman, if you have your sights set on someone, and YOU KNOW that opposite-gender person is a Freshman too, I suggest looking up a role-model. A cool [[Joseph Herring|Junior]] or Seinor-Year student, and follow their example on asking others out (but with your own [[Sonichu medallion|personal flair and charm]]; do not totally copy your role-model).

And IF you know someone who is WITHOUT a Sweetheart in High School, Ladies and Gentlemen, HOOK THEM UP. And [[Hanna|DO NOT MAKE IT A JOKE]]; that is just Plain Mean and Cruel, and being Mean and Cruel is NOT Cool. And if it helps, think of it as Volunteer Work. Most people enjoy volunteering and helping, Even for an Assignment or Extra Credit. Such kindness and concern reflects you as a Better Person; not some random Shallow Loser, because it show that You Truly Care about others AND yourself.

I offer my blessings to every lucky sweetheart couple in High Schools everywhere. IT IS TRUE, you WOULD NEVER find anyone better than the significant other that you are with right now.

Stay Safe, and Stay In School.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 04:39, 30 November 2009 (CET)

==December 2009==

===6 December 2009===

Just a note, I have just drawn the Two Final Pages for [[Sonichu 9|Book #9]], but I am short on time to color them both in before the night is over, but I will have Both Pages uploaded tomorrow. And to offer a foretaste, the Featured Picture for today is a preview of Page 100, mostly uncolored with my signature on it. And for tonight, I will answer the current set of letters in the Mailbag.

Also, I am certain that y'all have noticed the most UNwelcomed and UNapproved ads on, ugh!, [[homos]]exual stuff. As Everyone knows, I, Christian Weston Chandler, do not take kindly to such wrongful ads on this website. The one who hath done such a horrid crime was the one who hazes my comics and work, known as [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack Thaddius]]. Apparently, he is of European Citizenship, and donated some Euros and from such, took control over the adspace. He knows of my complaints and disapproval of these ads. To voice your complaints and opinions on this wrongdoing, you may e-mail him at '''jackthethadius@yahoo.com'''. As I work hard for my work, I also work towards the undoing of this crime on this, the One Official Sonichu and Rosechu Site, the Cwcipedia.

My advice to cope with this, is to hit F5 or Refresh until the adspace, on your screen, displays another ad that is not of that orientation.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 03:23, 7 December 2009 (CET)

===7 December 2009===
[[Image:VaSinglesHomoAd.jpg|thumb|One of the many GOD DAMN F**IN' homo ads that has Chris begging EU citizens for free money.]]
''The text of this blog was posted underneath the update from 6 December, instead of replacing it.''

Continuing from yesterday, I have just uploaded the final two pages of the 9th Book. I will remain on schedule and draw the True First Page of [[Sonichu 10|Book #10]], which (spoiler) is the start to full extent of the dialogue which was left out, due to page and time constraint, on Page 99 of Book #9. Followed a few pages later after this by skipping forward to my to-dos me and the others have to do in and around Cwcville. Then a few more pages later, it will sync-up with the preview 8 pages.

Again, to reiterate the issue, THE GOD DAMN F***IN' Homo Ads MUST BE GONE! A good start to this process is to contact the current "AdMaster", Jack Thaddius, at '''jackthethadius@yahoo.com'''. And for the time being, hit F5 or Refresh to avoid seeing those ads.

And the Biggest and Best Step to remove the ads, I must humbly ask my Good, Kind and Loyal European Fans of.

Firstly, like [[Transformers|Optimus Prime]], as a noble leader, I would not ask one to do anything that I am fully capable of doing myself. The main webmaster of the Cwcipdedia, the SysOp, resides in the European Area, and requires donations to keep the webhost space reserved for this one website. I am a citizen of the United States of America alone at this time, and legally, due to international banking laws, he can only accept donations from citizens of the European Union at this time. That S.O.B., Jack, apparently is a citizen of BOTH the U.S. and Europe. I, personally, have inquired upon donating from my funds, but unfortunately, as the SysOp told me, it is not possible with the law.

So, my European Fans, I ask you, to [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Donations Donate], not only to help keep up this, the Original Official Sonichu Site up, but to remove the horrid homo ads Jack has grossly placed. As my personal thanks to each of you who donate in the European Area, ONLY along with the Valid Donation(s) to the SysOp, if you include your legal name and address, that information will be relayed to me via e-mail from the SysOp, and I will personally snail-mail a hand-written thank you letter and an autographed drawing.

Thank You, and God Bless You, True, Loyal and Kind-Hearted People,

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 01:56, 8 December 2009 (CET)

===13 December 2009===
I apologize for the lack of pages today, but I had a number of [[chores]] to do for my family today, so to make up for it, I will be typing up [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|a '''New Sonichu and Rosechu Story''', their Christmas Special]] which I promise to draw up alongside the current pages starting on tomorrow, the 14th. So, I will be typing it up right after I answer today's Mailbag, and I will add the link to it under this C-Log, as well as in the Portal.

Thank you for your Loaylty and Patience.

[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=A_Sonichu_and_Rosechu_Christmas A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 04:06, 14 December 2009 (CET)

===16 December 2009===
Just a couple of things today, I have to go on a road trip to visit my relatives, so no new pages will be uploaded today only, but instead, I will be creating [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|the page that sorts out Fact from Fiction]] from that God D*** [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page that has plagued me since November of [[2007]].

Aside from that, I apologize from lack of other things, aside from the two new pages from the update just before I started typing in this C-Log entry, but my [[computer]] picked up a virus from a pop-up ad while I was updating. It made me had to restart my PC, and it had trouble restarting, so I had to restore it. Thank God it maintained most of the programs and All my files it had.

Thank you again for your Loyalty and Patience.

Have a Safe and Good Day,

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 09:01, 16 December 2009 (CET)

===17 December 2009===
I have enjoyed the trip to visit my Aunt and Uncle with my family; it was nice and pleasant. Unfortunately, I felt drowzy shortly after returning home, so I turned early. I apologize for that. I got up this morning, had coffee with [[Bob|my dad]], did some cleaning around the house, then pop needed me to run a few errands with him; important documents, personal verification of such and all. I went straight to the Cwcipedia to type up [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|the Revised ED Page Text]] of which I went through during my trip yesterday. I do not have enough time to upload a page today, but I will return shortly later to answer more fanmail.

Again, my apologies.

Stay Safe,

===ModNation Addendum===

''(The following was added an hour and a half after the original post)''

Also, This Just In, I have FINALLY been able to redeem my Voucher code for the [[ModNation Racers|'''ModNation Racers Beta''']] that I got with the G.O.T.Y. [[LittleBiGPlanet]] disc, and it is being downloaded now. This weekend, during my off-time aside from the drawing and Cwcipedia time, I will be learning about its ins-and-outs and eventually (hopefully by the end of the weekend) '''create the [[CWCville|Cwcville City]] [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Racetrack]].'''

Also, I will be receiving a second voucher code for the same Beta, and I am feeling generous. The First PS3 Owner with a Trophy Level of 8 or more to send me a message with "Cwcville City Track" in the Subject Line before Friday, December 18 at 6:00 AM, Eastern Standard Time, will receive the code after I get it in my e-mail. My [[PSN]] ID IS '''Sonichu''', and the code will be sent over the Playstation Network in reply to the message received. Good Luck!

And Good Luck on beating me on the Online Tracks in the City of Cwcville, VA!

Stay Safe,

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 03:26, 18 December 2009 (CET)

===19 December 2009===
Now, I'm back in the swing of drawing pages; I have just uploaded the two pages for today.

Also, I have the Voucher Code for the ModNation Racers Beta (for being a [[Wikipedia:Qore|Qore]] Subscriber), but unfortunately I had not received any messages on the PSN from anyone, so I will revise the details. AGAIN, '''send me a message with ''"Cwcville City Track"'' in the Subject Line before Monday, December 21 at 6:00 AM, Eastern Standard Time,''' but '''it is now OPEN TO ALL WITH A PLAYSTATION 3 and a PSN Account; NO Trophy Level required.''' I will send the code to the '''10th message received''' on my PSN, and that individual will receive the code in a reply to their message '''over the Playstation Network'''. My PSN ID IS '''Sonichu'''. Good Luck!

And Good Luck on beating me on the Online Tracks in the City of Cwcville, VA!

Also, check out the [[Art|Original CCWC Art]] page for the first 7 of a number of In-Game Photos from ModNation Racers of my Character(s) and My Car(s) and the Track(s), including the Cwcville Track I am working on. I have the map drawn on paper; all I have to do now is to familiarize myself with all the track creation options and details so I can make this track at its currently available best (Beta-Wise).

Stay Safe,

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 08:07, 19 December 2009 (CET)

===20 December 2009===
Firstly, I apologize for not uploading any new pages yesterday or today; I have just been hit with TWO FEET of Snow. While I was drawing a page, I had a 2-second blackout; my PC was on before the blackout. Later, when I went to my PC to turn it back on, it screwed up on me, like the recent event with the found virus software of which I had explained in an earlier C-Log. Anyway, it took me longer to get my PC back up, but now I am back up, and I will upload Six Pages tomorrow.

[[Image:Clyde_billboard_04.jpg|thumb|I am straight! Everybody hangs out in a gay bar sometimes! It's perfectly normal!]]
Onto another issue that has come to my attention, as I have also stated in my new [[YouTube]] video along with what I have just explained, The Troll, [[Clyde Cash]], apparently has [[20_December_2009|uploaded one of his Photoshopped images with my image]] cropped into some strange situation, where he is trying to smear my good name again, onto this website where the image is being displayed on a billboard in New York City. '''DO NOT BELIEVE THE BILLBOARD IMAGE; I AM STRAIGHT; THAT IS JUST CLYDE CASH TRYING TO FRAME ME AGAIN.'''

In any case, tonight, I will be answering Two Mailbag Sets, and responding to ALL current messages regarding the billboard thing (D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash) as well.

Also, The ModNation Cwcville City Track is still under construction; it will be uploaded before Christmas Day.

Thank you for your support and kindness.

Have a Merry and Safe Christmas and Holidays.

--ChrisChanSonichu 05:36, 21 December 2009 (CET)

===28 December 2009===
Well, at least I accomplished ONE improvement on the Cwcipedia; no offensive Ads. And To [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack Thaddius]], who is still being an annoying son of a b****, '''I have got out of my Closet of [[Autism]] LONG AGO, and I Stayed Straight. YOU Get Out Of YOUR Closet and Go Into F***ing Scientology.''' I say that in response to the ad he somehow placed next to the Introduction Icon; NO AD BELONGS THERE, and '''That Ad is of NO association with me, the Cwcipedia website, and all things Sonichu and Rosechu.'''

**Update: I have found the tweak and fixed the problem; '''[[My Coke Rewards|Coca Cola]] is a Product that [[Obesity|I enjoy]], and I am Proud to be Associated With their products with the Ad I replaced Jack's Misdeed with.''' '''V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! FOR C-W-C!!!'''

Moving on, since apparently there was a Twitter Feed placed on the Mailbox Zero page, which I have removed and moved to the [[Twitter]] page, I have later decided to go into the Twitter Fad and add a small Feed under the C-Log Box. My Username is '''CWCSonichu'''; Do Not Give Attention to ALL Other Usernames in the '''Sonichu''' Twitter Feed who claim or pretend to be me, and GIVE NO ATTENTION WHATSOEVER to '''ClydeCash''' or '''Jack Thaddius''', who both have their own Twitter accounts (Make Both Jack and Clyde BANNED from Twitter, please).

And let me make it clear again, '''I''', Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA, USA, '''Do Not support the Gay Lifestyle'''; what they do behind closed doors is their own business alone, and I have no care about it, and they have their own rights as the next person with due respect(s). '''I am Striaght, PERIOD!''' And with the Facts that Both of them not Only are Annoying DumbAsses to me, but They Both give their own Gay Men a Worse Name than they already have, '''Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddius BOTH Should commit Suicide, Die and Rot In Hell.''' As I have already stated loudly in my recent Y.T. video.

I have spoken for now. Shorter updates from me as '''CWCSonichu''' will come in on the Sonichu [[Twitter]] Feed.

Thank You for your loyalty to my Sonichu and Rosechu stories and franchise and Positive Encouragement to Ignore the Ill-Mislabeling Trolls.

Stay Safe,

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 18:19, 28 December 2009 (CET)

==January 2010==

===1 January 2010===
[[Image:CWCsTRUEandHONESTads.jpg|thumb|The "ads" Chris put up in retaliation to [[Jack Thaddeus]].]]
Captain's Log, Stardate: January 1, 2010
I have another pair of pages for today, and I will answer another Mailbag or two after uploading. But I also have another announcement; Jack thinks he can get away with occupying my Introduction Box with ANY Ad, well I have a few items I fully support as well. I will be placing my own Ads around the Cwcipedia, as I assert My Rights to do so as Captain of this website vessel.

'''I DO NOT WANT MY ADS REMOVED OR REPLACED BY ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF.'''

Thank you for your full support; have a good and safe day,

--ChrisChanSonichu 02:06, 2 January 2010 (CET)

See below as these are some functions I fully support and will be placing around the site...

===7 January 2010===
Upon reflection, February 24 SHOULD be a Holiday of sorts (even a Second Day for Love in addition to Valentine's Day), because the day, to me at least, just FEELS like a Holiday, [[Chris and his Ego|in addition to it being my Birthday]]. I have looked it up before, and it is some sort of forgettable (Holi)day in Mexico or somewhere. February 24 Should have More Significance and Recognition like a Holiday.

And that is my thought not only for today, but my thought for Years.

Stay Safe,

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:09, 8 January 2010 (CET)

===12 January 2010===
Having finally logged back in, I am copying and pasting my Twitters into this C-Log.

Firstly, I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within Cwcville, yet gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request.

Second, I am aware of the reasons of the Trio of individuals who are behind the Hideous Asperpedia of WHY they are tormenting me like this. If they will Read the following, or if anyone will relay, I will make amends towards them.

To [[Alec]]: You have NO RIGHT in drawing MY characters in your comics, because I have specifically spoke AGAINST IT, and you DARE to copy and paste my response and STRIKE AND ADD IN ONLY WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR! [[Chris and hypocrisy|I admit I have done that]] in some Mailbag letters, and I apologize for that, but I did that sometimes, because I felt offended by some of their content. I would appreciate it if you would just give up your game, remove all the ads on MY Cwcipedia, and just move on. YOU HAVE your own life in Minnesota at your Amtrak; Quit Messing Up My Life, or I WILL come after you.

To [[Evan George]]: I offered to make [[Simonchu]] and [[Simonla]] Brother and Sister, yet you continue on to give me grief and hateThe offer was reasonable, so the two can be Separate, Individual Characters. I would appreciate it if you quit hating me, accept the brother/sister plan, and Let It Go.

To [[Sean]]: Your comic strips are only an extension to WHAT YOU THINK are characters who are Underappreciated, when they are not, and I have plans for them in future tales. Firstly, [[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon.[[Bill the Scientist|Bill]] is [[Simonla#Death|still working within Giovanni's Laboratory]], I am working on a plan on including him in a future episode around Blake. The [[Boulder Dropping Whale|WAILORD]] who dropped the rock onto the mother Swampert and the [[Yawning Squirtle|Squirtle who Yawned]] are ONLY Individual characters who I originally had NO plans on putting into future stories, so ASSUME that the two were BOTH caught by Pok'emon Trainers in Pok'e Balls and now the two are fighting with their trainers in Pok'emon Battles.

And to all those who I offended about the talk with [[Aspergers]], I apologize. I have nothing AGAINST any individual with Aspergers, and I promise to not be mean, but nice, to them and all other individuals. So, Please, to everyone, let's move on peacefully and live our lives well.

Thank You.

--ChrisChanSonichu 05:07, 13 January 2010 (CET)

===14 January 2010===

Firstly, '''I, Christian Weston Chandler, Have NO alliance or anything like that Whatsoever with [[Alec Benson Leary]] or his D***ED [[Asperchu]]!!!'''

Second, HE is DOING ME Wrong by Buying Jack Thaddius out on MY Adspace and posting NOT ONLY Wrongful Ads leading to his C***FEST of a website, but OFFENSIVE PORN ADS like Jack had done before. I ask you, '''If Alec is so great, WHY WOULD HE DRAG THE CWCIPEDIA THROUGH THE MUD LIKE JACK DID?!'''

[[Lie|Alec Is A TROLL]]. To ask to REMOVE the ads from the Cwcipedia, send all inquiries to albasperchu@live.com.

And AGAIN, '''I have NO association with Alec Whatsoever, He is using MY Characters Wrongfully, and Asperchu is NOT MINE, and [[Asperchu#Chris on Asperchu|I COULD NOT CARE ANY LESS ABOUT THAT RETARDED CHARACTER]]!!!'''

Aside from that, Stay Safe, and Have a good day.

--ChrisChanSonichu 06:10, 14 January 2010 (CET)

===19 January 2009===
After careful research and reading, I have felt inspired for ten new pages, plus a few more to wrap up this plot. So today, I present my '''12-Page Explosion'''; I have uploaded the total of 12 new pages just now. Also, there is one good explosion on one page. Enjoy that and the following.

'''I still have NO association with Alec Benson Leary OR HIS Asperchu character Whatsoever''', but I will forgive Alec for his error if he FOLLOWS from my new plot and [[Mitch Sonichu|Extreme Electric Makeover]] as a template. [[Chris and reality|He is no longer "Asperchu", just call him '''Mitch Sonichu''']].

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 11:44, 19 January 2010 (CET)

=== 25 January 2010 ===
I apologize for not being online for a few days, but I have just uploaded 8 new pages; I will answer another mailbag shortly after making a few more updates; will be creating satisfactory character pages tonight; also, with the recent number of pages, I took a shot at drawing and coloring 5 pages a day; obviously with [[PS3|real life events]] and [[Mass debating|whatnot]], it was too much to ask, so I will get back into the swing of things with 2 or 3 pages a day like before; I appreciate the paitience of the true and loyal; thank you all very much you can take a lesson at being a True Sonichu Fan from Rad and his group I mentioned in a recent YouTube video; check out his song he wrote and composed for me; Rad and his group will have their own page on the Cwcipedia as '''Most Honored and Loyal Sonichu Fan Group'''.
Stay Safe, and have a good day.

(Copied from my most recent Twitters)

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 21:08, 25 January 2010 (CET)

=== 30 January 2010 ===
Well, last night, I have uploaded 6 more pages, and just now I have added a NEW Mailbag of my own with inputs from True Sonichu Fans on a Forum I've just learned about. This is [[Mailbag 50]]; I put this together, so YOU ALL can LEARN how to BETTER PHRASE your letters so I can feel Less Enticed into [[Stress]]ing Out and having to Reply Derogatory as in the recent bunches of Mailbags beforehand. With that, I promise to improve my behavior on that for the better, but you all have to help me out too.

Also, I have uploaded [[29 January 2010|a new video of apology]]; it is a current featured video below.

You all Stay Safe, and have a good day.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 18:10, 30 January 2010 (CET)

==February 2010==
===2 February 2010===
**Also, if you are just as offended as I am for the Ads Asperpedia's [http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=User:Mao Mao "Bamboo" Ling] has been putting up wrongfully on the [[Cwcipedia]], Feel Free to e-mail ALL your complaints personally to him at '''mao@hsienko.com'''. Give him Hell to Pay.

Stay Safe, and have a good day.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 19:00, 2 February 2010 (CET)

===14 February 2010===
Happy Valentines Day, Y'all

It has been crazy with the up and down-times with the [[Cwcipedia]] and whatnot. But no more. Currently, I am still drawing and coloring (mostly drawing though) the pages, and I think y'all will be satisfied with the finished [[Sonichu 10|10th Book]]. I will upload ALL remaining pages of that book, plus some for [[Sonichu 11|Book 11]] on the 24th (Look Forward to that). Also, to note, I will also be continuing the [[A_Sonichu_and_Rosechu_Christmas|Christmas Special]] in the second or third part of the 12th book.

In the meantime, I will continue to daily update the Cwcipedia with answering the Mailbags and adding a new Character Bio Page to the site per day. Most of which will be short but sweet.

Also, thanks to Mr. [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack Thaddius]], I now have a lighter view on [[homos|homosexual people]], and with that, I respectfully retract my past reply to one Mailbag letter, and I say, [[Mailbag_49#Chris_loves_his_country|"'''Power to the Gays in the Army'''"]].

And currently, my [[The Wallflower|girl friend]] and I are getting along great; the relationship is progressing. I only ask for y'all to leave me with my relationship, and [[Mailbag_31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|not make me feel intruded]] by inquiring constantly.

'''Keep All Mailbag Questions LIMITED ONLY to topics of the Cwcipedia, [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], my Comics, Cwcville, and Myself.''' Any questions not on those topics, although read, will all receive a [[Mailbag 52|neutral response]] or none at all.

Thank you all for your loyalty and patience, and have a good and safe day.

--ChrisChanSonichu 01:44, 15 February 2010 (CET)
==March 2010==
===10 March 2010===
LOOK, Just because I don't update as often as I should, or draw/color as much, does not give any one of you the right to torture the hell out of me. I was Happy. I was At Peace. But NO, SOMEONE among the Trolls among those of You All would Just Not Let Me Be.

I have been in a number of moments of finding peace and losing it later, because YOU damn trolls won't leave me be. And even the Impatient Fans; Honest, True and Loyal as you all may be, you all are part to blame in this as well. Y'all are mostly immature people who have no lives of your own. Y'all don't want me to have a Life Of My Own; Y'all don't want me to find Long-Term Peace and Happiness for myself. Y'all don't want me to Find and Keep Sweet True Love for myself. You all are just as Terrible as I portrayed [[Mary Lee Walsh]] to be; True Love is NOT Illegal in the [[United States of America]], INCLUDING [[Virginia]]. Because you all are so self-absorbed in yourselves, spoiled, and such, YOU ONLY want more story arcs and art MORE QUICKLY than my own Inspiration can come up with. You all are nothing bug greedy, impatient, unloved and corrupted people.

And your misdeeds only lead to Heartbreaks and Heartaches upon Me... They Really Hurt.

I have let you who have dared to do what you wanted to bully and torture me emotionally, but when YOU BULLY THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT WITH DAMNED PAGES THAT MAKE THEM LOOK AS STUPID AS ME, LEADING TO PREMATURE DEATHS, [[The Wallflower|BREAK-UPS FROM BEING EVEN SIMPLY FRIENDS WITH ME]], AND JUST PLAIN EMOTIONAL DAMAGE AND EMBARRASSMENTS, '''YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR!!!'''

Leave My Friends and Family Out Of the Online Hazings and Hatred; I, Christian Weston Chandler, Am Your Main Target. BE A HUMAN AND COME AT ME DIRECTLY!!!

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:45, 11 March 2010 (CET)

I have been in a number of moments of finding peace and losing it later, because YOU damn trolls won't leave me be. And even the Impatient Fans; Honest, True and Loyal as you all may be, you all are part to blame in this as well. Y'all are mostly immature people who have no lives of your own. Y'all don't want me to have a Life Of My Own; Y'all don't want me to find Long-Term Peace and Happiness for myself. Y'all don't want me to Find and Keep Sweet True Love for myself. You all are just as Terrible as I portrayed Mary Lee Walsh to be; True Love is NOT Illegal in the United States of America, INCLUDING Virginia. Because you all are so self-absorbed in yourselves, spoiled, and such, YOU ONLY want more story arcs and art MORE QUICKLY than my own Inspiration can come up with. You all are nothing bug greedy, impatient, unloved and corrupted people.

And your misdeeds only lead to Heartbreaks and Heartaches upon Me... They Really Hurt.

„

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:03, 11 March 2010 (CET)

“
And another thing, I have Never been Really Sure on the whole making [[money]] thing, or of any other aspirations. I originally started the whole Sonichu thing for fun. NOW it is being pressured onto me like as if it was a Job. I am sick and tired of it feeling like a Job; I want it to go back to being Fun For Me, and for that, I need to do things at my own pace on my own time. I have the right to create other projects or resume past ones on A.D.D.-Like Impulses.

The stories WILL Continue; [[Book10Replacement|I WILL change the final few pages of Book 10 to be more appropriate for most people]]; I WILL Update this website time and time again.

I understand that I have lost a lot of "fans" due to "lack of new content", but THOSE PEOPLE are among the People I am most annoyed with in my one-paragraph rant above. I am tired of trying to please MILLIONS; what matters to me is caring and pleasing the local few around me who I truly and deeply care about.

With that, I respectfully ask the webmaster of the Unapproved and Detested [[CWCki]] to remove ALL PAGES Classified under their "Christian Weston Chandler's Web Of Life" and "[[Sweethearts]], [[heartsweets]] and [[gal-pals]]" Categories. '''I give him until Midnight of Friday March 12, 2010, Eastern Standard Time, for the [[Cogsdev|Webmaster]] of that CWCki to Remove ALL OF THOSE PAGES, or there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me.'''

''Note: Chris would later amend the bolded portion of the above entry. See the 14 March entry for details.''

===14 March 2010===

I have made observation [[The Wallflower|that One page]] that was of a current woman friend of mine has been deleted and changed appropriately to a page of a different title and respective keeping-anonymous description.

This is good for a Start, and that main portion has been met.

BUT, there is MORE to be done. I WANT the webmaster of the CWCki to do the same for the other following people I care about:

'''-[[Megan Schroeder]]'''

'''-[[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]'''

'''-[[Anna McLerran]]'''

'''-[[Joshua Martinez]]'''

'''-[[Laura Dorazio]]'''

'''-[[Kellie Andes]]'''

'''-[[Tiffany Gowen]]'''

'''-[[Joseph Herring]]'''

'''-[[PandaHalo|Sarah Cassandra McKenzie (PandaHalo)]]'''

'''-[[Ivy|Ivy O'Neil]]'''

'''-[[Kacey|Kacey Devoria]]'''

[[Image:YouDieTodayBitch.PNG|thumb|Chris considers Vivian to be a true Gal-Pal.]]
'''-[[Vivian Gee]] is a [[Gal-Pal]]; Please Relocate the link(s) to her page as such.'''

'''-[[Sarah Jackson]]'''

'''-[[Two's_company_snapshots|Faeryn (A.K.A. the "Hambeast")]]'''

'''-**[[Chandler_Family_Tree|ALL OF MY RELATIVES AND FAMILY]]**'''

'''-[[Mary Lee Walsh]]'''

I would like this done before 11:59 PM of March 31, 2010, Eastern Standard Time, or there WILL be trouble personally from me.

* To Anna McLerran, I would personally like to extend my humble apologies for offending her, along with a lot of homosexual people, in any form with my past but now dead angst against the gays.

The Homosexuals are okay people too.

To everyone, I wish you all a safe and good day.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 08:04, 14 March 2010 (CET)

''Note: While posting this update, Chris also altered the ending of the 10 March 2010 entry. He replaced the bolded portion at the end of that entry with the following:''

As I have updated in the C-Log, a page that has caused chaos the past few days has been deleted and changed to something more anonymous, and that is good, for a start. I have listed the other pages of people I care about on the CWCki I would like to see similar, if not same, treatment. The deadline is March 31, 2010, 11:59 PM, Easter Standard Time. Do it, or there WILL be trouble. [[Death threats|I am Armed after all]].

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 08:09, 14 March 2010 (CET)

===19 March 2010===

''The following entry was posted by one of the [[Asperpedia]] Four after the Sysop gave control to the CWCipedia to [[Mao]]. It was never posted by Chris.''

I, Christian Weston "Ricardo" Chandler am currently looking for a [[Homos|Sweet Joy Boy]] to make into my heartsweet. If you are male, Gay and interested to be the One Person to Steal my virgintfy, please contact me. I NEED YOU!

--ChrisChanSonichu 18:37, 19 March 2010 (CET), [[Chris and sex|VERY HORNY]]

''The CWC Blog page was also replaced with the following log:''

I, Christopher "Christian" Weston "Ricardo" "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]" Chandler, am Gay. Don't doubt me.

Have a good, safe day. Peace, --ChrisChanSonichu 21:27, 24 August 2009 (CEST)

==April 2010==

=== 9 April 2010 ===

Spacing myself from the [[internet]] and all online nuisances, I am finding a better sense of peace. I am still drawing my pages, story arcs and all that. Such updates will appear on the Cwcipedia soon. You all have a good and safe day.

--ChrisChanSonichu 02:58, 10 April 2010 (CEST)

=== 24 April 2010 ===
[[File:SchuComic11P32Troll.jpg|thumb|[[Sonichu 11]]'s best page.]]
I deeply apologize for the few updates. My [[computers|PC]] has been on having some virus issues and I currently can not log into my account; however, I have completed [[Issue 11]] and I hope y'all are looking forward to the Reboot on Issue 12 that will come very shortly. Thank y'all for your patience.

--ChrisChanSonichu 02:58, 24 April 2010 (CEST)

''Note: This update was actually added by Chris's sysop's account. The uploaded pages of [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]] that she put up were all troll-created pages telling the story of the deaths of [[Sonichu]]'s and [[Wild]]'s children, Sonichu's divorce and Wild's violent suicide. It is unquestionably the best [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] story ever.''

=== 26 April 2010 ===

The recent "update" and "new pages" were NOT of my own personal drawing or approval. It is obvious who has done this, but [[Vivian Gee|she]] has to understand that ONLY I have the Full Understanding of ALL Personality Aspects OR Plot Lines that are and will be put into the future pages of the comic. What she has done unto me recently which I have personally undone, [[Chris and his Ego|was a traitorous mutiny]], and while I DO NOT appreciate it one bit, I will forgive her this time. I only ask for NO SUCH CHANGES to be made in the future AT ALL TIMES WITHOUT MY APPROVAL.

Spacing myself from the internet and all online nuisances, I am finding a better sense of peace. I am still drawing my pages, story arcs and all that. OFFICIAL updates From My Own Hands will appear on the Cwcipedia soon. You all have a good and safe day.

--ChrisChanSonichu 09:02, 26 April 2010 (CEST)

''Note: Chris replaced the second paragraph about 45 minutes later with the following:''

[[File:Schu11Placeholder.jpg|thumb|Sadly, Chris hid the awesome pages with these.]]
**Actually, I have just been informed that the SysOp ONLY uploaded the images; someone else drew them. And in any case, NONE OF THOSE PAGES, which have been tastefully replaced with a temporary image (until when I draw the REAL pages to go in their place).
And to MAKE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR IN THE SCENARIOS OF MY COMICS...
 -NONE OF THE CHILDREN, Robbie, Cera, Christine or Sandy, are dead; They are ALL Still Alive and will go on to live safely and healthily.
 -The Drawing Style... REALLY? REALLY? WHO THE F*** CAN NOT SEE THAT DRAWING/COLORING STYLE WAS [[Chris and art|NOT MY OWN IN COMPARISON TO MY PAST HAND-DRAWINGS]]?
 -Aside from the [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|LEAKED Adult Drawings I did in my past]] that my Trolls continue to mock me with (and are being IGNORED), I WOULD NEVER ALLOW ANY PRIVATE PARTS TO BE PORTRAYED ANYWHERE ON THE CWCIPEDIA AT ALL TIMES.

**SEE, between the INTERNET STRESS I have got between the Trolls and Past Relations AFTER I found that D***ed [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] Page, it really tears me up. Spacing myself from the internet and all online nuisances, I am looking find a better sense of peace and tranquility, AND a GIRLFRIEND to make into my SWEETHEART, Avoiding The "[[Friend Zone]]", And [[Fuck Quest|YES, Even to F***]]!!!.

[[Lies|I am still drawing my pages, story arcs, Editing most PAST Pages that make only a mockery of me and my Real Friends and Presenting My Side of the True Stories and all. OFFICIAL updates From My Own Hands will appear on the Cwcipedia soon.]] You all have a good and safe day.

==May 2010==

=== 14 May 2010 ===

Hello, my name is Daria Camacho. I am helping Chris out by maintaining the CWCipedia while he is on hiatus. I have noticed that he is very sad and depressed and that he is much too [[stress]]ed to help maintain the CWCipedia. This is why I was sought out to help with the day to day on the CWCipedia. Rest easy, Sonichu Fans as I will make sure when Chris returns, the CWCipedia will be at tip-top shape!

''Note: As stated, this was added by DariaCamacho, the CWCipedia's new "Fan Manager", who had apparently been given access to the site in order to keep it running smoothly until Chris returns. Given that Chris reverted many of her edits, it's likely he was not told of her coming in advance.''

=== 26 May 2010 ===

''Note: Chris is talking about [http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/960619-modnation-racers/54555151 this GameFAQs thread of his] about the "Mystery Mods" for [[ModNation Racers]], freebie codes that unlock random characters in the games.''

I have Kratos/Gopher and Nathan Drake/Lil Tinker.

Also, I stand corrected on the past Topic where I tried to predict on the Mystery Mods matching the respective others I posted onto GameFAQs over a month ago.

It sucks that my Self-Mod, Sonichu Kart and Cwcville Tracks were Lost from the ModNation Server sometime after the end of the Beta. I have recreated the Mod and Kart from the Beta photos I took months ago. And I will recreate the Cwcville Track in due time after I've unlocked all of the remaining pieces, so I can make it better and more accurate than it was before.

Anyway, I still need the Ratchet/Clank and Nukular Karts/Mods with Cowboy and Mouse Trap Karts/Mods from Amazon and Game Crazy, respectively.

Send me the codes over the PSN in a message to my PSN, "Sonichu". Within Five Days of sending the codes on your half, I will attempt to redeem them. Within the time after successful redemption, I will reward an Activated code for $10 on the [[PSN]] fresh from the card for each code. And Please specify which Main Character the code you're sending is for.

Ratchet and Clank Nukular

This offer will be in effect until June 16, 2010, so Please Hurry, and Thank you.

Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler PSN ID: Sonichu

==June 2010==

=== 4 June 2010 ===

''Note: This was a trolling attempt.''

I am currently in the process of taking back MY CWCipedia from the trolls. Do not believe anything they say. I am currently being stressed out from you obsessive Autistic Fans and you D*** Trolls messing up my life. I will continue when inspiration comes back.
 Feel free to send me things at: 412 Pollock St, Richmond, VA, United States. (Please do not send things to my old address, I have moved.)
The more things I receive, the Stronger I Feel my inspiration will return. Love and Peace, Christian W. Chandler
 Also, thank you Iori for sending me the DSi. Another thank you to Claire from Oregon for gifting me a PSPgo. I hope you two lovely ladies are free. <3 <3 <3

==See also==
*[[CWCipedia]]
*[[Mailbag]]
*[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence]]
==External links==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page External link to the main page of the archived CWCipedia, where the latest blog post is featured]
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWC_Blog The CWC Blog archive]
{{CWCipedia}}
[[Category:CWCipedia]]
[[Category:Journals]]

Chris and religion

2011-01-05T15:43:21Z

SeventhBase:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|KlsCT1AUmZw}}</center>

{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1st Corinthians 13:11, on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[Julie|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[Lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, [[Chris and his ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naive|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris being a Xenufag, to [[Vivian Gee|Vivitheg]]}}
[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the naive hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''and'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital sex, hatred, intolerance, [[Nudes|pornography]] and [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: He actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in 2000.<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In 2008 he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of CWCville - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the Rosechus. (Not to mention, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with; most Catholic churches are called after a saint, or a divine epithet such as "Sacred Heart", "Holy Name", "Blessed Virgin", etc.)

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows pre-marital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]], also in this pic, BLASPHEMY!]]
[[Image:Issue 0A Page 8 edit.JPG|thumb|left|Radar sums it up nicely]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of two-headed creature, unlike the Christian concept of the Holy Trinity, which states that God himself exists as three "persons" or expressions. This would technically make him closer to a [[Wikipedia:Unitarian|Unitarian]] than a Methodist.

Being the unparalleled study in egotism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris [[fail]]s at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]], and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of Chris's child, despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus kill themselves so they can burn in hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in his comic. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It's strange that despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please". To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
[[Image:Apostle paul rembrandt.jpg|thumb|left|The likely reaction of St. Paul to Chris's 'interpretation' of the Bible]]
[[Image:Jesus facepalm.jpg|thumb|right|Jesus's reaction to Chris's antics]]

{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris, [[Mailbag 30#Questions|with his own theory]].}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Guilty of all Seven Deadly Sins===
[[Image:Pope face palm.jpg|thumb|right|His Holiness's reaction to Chris's commission of all Seven Deadly Sins.]]

The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is more a conception of the Catholics than of the Protestants, who will mostly tell you that ''any'' sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God. Given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much. 

*'''Lust''': His [[Love Quest]]. Between all the purchases of [[sex toys]] and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought, it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing). In fact, he's now on a [[Fuck Quest]]. (See also [[Chris and Sex]]).
*'''Gluttony''': It is not quite known if Chris's [[obesity|girth]] is [[Barbara|hereditary]] or the result of [[McDonalds|over consumption]], but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
*'''Avarice/Greed''': Chris's obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. putting [[Cole Smithey|his brother's]] questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain. Also, he steals from his parents to buy [[PS3|video games he'll never play]]. (See also [[Chris and Money]]). He's even gone so far as to [[The MovingForward videos|destroy his PS3]] in an attempt to gain money.
*'''Sloth''': Obvious; see ''Gluttony''. Content to be the proud recipient of a "[[monthly tugboat]]" while sitting on his ass playing video games and surfing the [[Internet]], Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year. He believes doing routine household [[chores]] is [[stress|"stressful"]] and an equivalent to holding a real job.
*'''Wrath''': [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[Jerkops]]. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]. "[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]". [[Chris and anger|Yeah...]]
*'''Envy''': [[Jerks|His attitude towards other men]] as having taken [[Virgin with rage|"ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!"]] is a lot more envy than ''anyone'', let alone Christians, should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]. Frankly, Adam deserved to win, but Chris cannot accept that someone else has something (talent) which he does not.
*'''Pride''': Chris's [[Autism|self-centered worldview]] and inability to note his own flaws. Narcissus himself would look down on him for his selfishness. This is partly due to incessant coddling and sheltering from his parents his whole life, while being told that he is perfect in every way, because having autism makes him special. Chris has been told his entire life that the fact that he has autism means that he should have everything handed to him on a silver platter. (See also [[Chris and his Ego]])

===Breaking all "Ten Commandments"===

Similar to the above, the concept of the Ten Commandments is more commonly associated with Judaism than Christianity, but, as noted, Chris is probably too goddamn stupid to tell the difference.

*'''1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
*'''2. "Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the [[Medallions of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
*'''3. "Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says "goddamn" a lot too.
*'''4. "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
*'''5. "Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] that [[Bob walks in|upset]] his father.
*'''6. "Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies... and then repenting to GodJesus in the same breath. Alternatively, considering the revelation that he believes cartoon characters really exist, his actions in [[Sonichu 10]] where he collapses a building full of people, killing at least a hundred people for relatively minor slights gives him the biggest body count of the series.
*'''7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]].
*'''8. "Thou shalt not steal"''': If [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and he even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]] However, some scholars argue that this commandment actually means ''Thou shalt not kidnap'', which Chris hasn't done... yet. Watch your back, ladies.
*'''9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator. This was especially prevalent within the [[Alec Benson Leary]] saga.
*'''10. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]], which would be a bit redundant considering #7.

===Breaking the Levitical Laws===

The Levitical laws were written for Hebrews, as a covenant with God. They are a priestly code of social behavior, with the agreement that if the laws are followed, the Hebrews would be given the Promised Land. Despite the fact that these laws were made for a culture thousands of years ago, and only followed by strict observers of [[Wikipedia:Halakha|Halakha]], Chris seems to have no problem applying these laws to modern times and modern people. Well, [[Chris and hypocrisy|sometimes]].

In [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]], Chris touts one of the most used and abused Bible verses, Leviticus 18:22, as evidence that [[homos]]exuality is "just plain wrong". Unknown to Chris, this is a part of the old Levitical code, which has many, many other commandments. Chris breaks Levitical Law on a near daily basis.

There are many, many laws, and Chris breaks too many of them for them to all be listed here. Some prime examples include:

*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11]''' This whole chapter deals with was sort of animals you should and should not eat. Even though Chris eats at [[McDonald's]] every "2 or 3 times a week", odds are that he's had pork or shellfish at least once in his life, if not many times.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:11&version=NIV Leviticus 19:11]''' "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another." [[List of Chris's lies|Chris lies a lot]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:12&version=NIV Leviticus 19:12]''' "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD." Most of this article is dedicated to the misuse of God's name.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:19&version=NIV Leviticus 19:19]''' "Keep my decrees: Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Chris benefits from the science of hybridization daily. Those Chicken McNuggets of which he's ever so fond come from hybrid corn, and you can bet his [[Chris and Fashion|clothes]] aren't a pure weave. And what is [[Sonichu]], if not "mating different kinds of animals": a [[Sonic|hedgehog]] and a [[Pokémon|Pikachu]] (itself a hybrid of the mouse and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pika pika])?
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:26&version=NIV Leviticus 19:26]''' "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. Do not practice divination or sorcery." It's fairly doubtful that Chris keeps kosher about the meat, but more importantly... [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]! [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|FORGIVENESS BLESSINGS!]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:27&version=NIV Leviticus 19:27]''' "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:28&version=NIV Leviticus 19:28]''' "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." While Chris has not directly violated this law, he has used tattoos to [[Chris and fashion#The "IBA." outfit|attract the ladies]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2020:6&version=NIV Leviticus 20:6]''' "I will set my face against the person who turns to Mediums and spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, and I will cut him off from his people." Chris has claimed to hear the voices of [[Aunt Corrina]], his [[Cherokian Clan|other]] [[Daniel Weston|ancestors]], and GodJesus at the former's funeral, all giving approval to his [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[china]].<ref>[[Sarah May Skype Logs]]</ref>

However, when Christianity first became a religion, Saint Paul came up with the new covenant, so all the bits about circumcision, sacrificing goats, eating a kosher diet, and other Levitical laws no longer apply. Anyone who claims to be a Christian and still follows the Levitical laws isn't really a Christian so much as an ultra-orthodox Jew, or a [[Wikipedia:Seventh-day Adventist Church|Seventh-day Adventist]]. There are a few ultra-fundie Christians who follow some of the old Leviticus laws due to a passage on Matthew, but all of this is irrelevant in the first place since Chris neither reads the Bible or seriously cares about Christianity.

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing, and most all groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]]. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]], [[Women's Rights|sexist]], [[Chris and Race|racist]], failure.

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Issue 10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. And lo Chris-chan did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue 7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the accumilitive memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.''

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans. The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is God himself. This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he describes himself as a "Lamb of God." Jesus Christ is commonly referred to as this by many Christians.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Chris has never had much to say about religious beliefs other than his own, least of all non-Christian beliefs. Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, he probably hasn't had much practical exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith.
===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking. In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Wikipedia:Jerry Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].
===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Other than not being Christian, he probably hates Muslims because he's enough of a dumbass to likely believe all Muslims are terrorists because of 9/11, [[Twin Falling Towers|which he mocked]].

===Atheism===
[[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> It's even harder for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[troll]]s by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from Autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own Godjesus T-shirt here.]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

A Sonichu Day

2011-01-05T15:42:15Z

SeventhBase:

"'''A Sonichu Day'''" is a video uploaded on 24 [[December 2009]] in which [[Chris]] uses [[Lego]]-block minifigures to act out a cutesy-wutesy short play involving [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|screechy-voiced brood]]. It is the first major Lego-based production Chris has released (or been goaded to release) since [[The City of Cwicville Tour!]] in the [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|DVD]]. Keen observers may note that in the intervening years, despite years of improving his [[Chris and art|art skills]], Chris has completely lost his ability to make stop-motion animations. His [[writing]] is as abysmal as ever, and shows no sign of any planning having gone into the video. As for [[camerawork]], he doesn't seem to realize that his camera can't focus on figures held about an inch from the lens. The "stage" of the play is the cover of [[Sonichu 9]] (or a copy thereof), showing that Chris can't even treat his own work with care or respect.

It is also worth noting that he thinks people spend their days doing "[[chores]]", and most of the "chores" he makes reference to in this video he has likely never once done, considered doing, or seen done in his lifetime, and has probably only heard of them from his parents or the television. Chris, through not having a job, also fails to understand that the majority of the population do not spend their days doing chores. How many times a week can Sonichu mow the grass anyway?

Also of note is the fact that, if this much crime and general disarray happens in the city of [[CWCville]] in a normal day, the city has to be an absolute hellhole uninhabitable by all but the stupidest- oh wait, it's CWCville.

In this video we learn that on an average day, Sonichu gets up at 5 a.m. (and Rosechu even earlier, as a [[sweetheart|dutiful wife]] should) for no apparent reason. Probably because Chris's [[biological clock]] is so confused that he has no idea when most functional members of society get up. Even the kids get the school bus at 5:00.

This film reveals the unremitting Hell that is Sonichu's existence. The sum total activity of an average day in his life has him battle clichés whilst surrounded by mouth-breathing spackers.

Sonichu's role as a father is particularly emphasized in this video with dialogue like "Cuz he's a [[pedofork|big daddy]].... [[rape|He can take care of his children like that....]]" Chris is clearly fantasizing about maturity and reliability, which he [[Bob|erroneously]] believes to come with [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|fatherhood]]. This is similar to how little girls play "mother and daughter" with baby dolls as a way of making adulthood (and eventual parenthood) into a game, and therefore, non-threatening. Except that Chris is almost thirty, and really should be well past that by now.

One of Chris's all-time most disturbing videos. Seriously, it's almost ten minutes of a grown man playing with Lego blocks and doing exaggeratedly-childlike voices. In the parlance of our times: someone had better phone Chris Hansen.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = A Sonichu Day
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XdFJ7Q6Iuo4}}
| stardate = 24 [[December 2009]]
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{YellowRedStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[20 December 2009]]
| next = [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital]]
}}
=== Transcript ===

Hello, [[fans]]! This here is a day in the life of Sonichu, using my Lego mini-figs, Sonichu and Rosechu obviously, among what other characters that will be made- that will be made introduced in the future- in the further of this- development of this video.

Okay so, start of the day, yeah, Sonichu's just getting up and Rosechu's in the [[Women's Rights|kitchen fixing breakfast]]. [[biological clock|It's about, uh, 5 AM.]] Yeah.

[''At this point, Chris starts acting out a story with his Legos, much like a 10-year-old might. Sonichu is voiced in Chris's normal voice, and Rosechu is voiced in a [[homos|gay]] falsetto.'']

'''Sonichu:''' Good morning, honey, how's it going?

'''Rosechu:''' Oh, pretty good, honey, you know, I'm just making breakfast for the childrens and y'all. Here, just have a seat and it'll be ready in a bit.

'''Sonichu:''' Okay.

'''Rosechu:''' Hm. Hm. Let me see if the children are up, uhhh. Christine, Robbie, Cerah! Y'all awake?

[''Chris moves 3 single Lego blocks into frame. Two are red, presumably representing Christine and Cerah. The last one is yellow, and apparently represents Robbie. He voices the children in an extremely annoying "cute" falsetto.'']

'''Christine & Cerah:''' Yeah, w'up, mommy. W'up. Mommy. Yeah.

'''Robbie:''' Hey, daddy! How you doin'?

'''Sonichu:''' Hi, son! How're you- I'm doing good, what you up to?

'''Robbie:''' Oh, I had fun in a dweeam. [[Chris and English|We had da funny a dweeam]]. [''Annoying laugh''] I'm playing catch with Cerah, [''Sonichu kicks Robbie in the face''] and then she said- then- I lost the ball. We went to go get the ball. And then some danger happened and I got lost. You know. But she saved me. [[Slow-in-the-mind|Yaaay]]!

'''Sonichu:''' [''Obviously uninterested''] Okay, that's good.

'''Rosechu:''' [''Chris accidentally uses his own voice here.''] Hey, Cerah.

'''Cerah:''' Hey, mommy. What's a goin'?

'''Rosechu:''' I'm doing—yeah we're doing good, right? Breakfast bill be ready in a bit so have a seat.

[''Chris turns the Rosechu figure to the other red piece.''] Hi, Christine.

'''Christine:''' Hi, Mommy. Hmm. I took a look in the mirror-m this morning and I was wondering, why am I so beautiful?

'''Rosechu:''' [''Said matter-of-factly in Chris's voice, in an obvious display of parental favoritism''] Maybe because you're shiny Rosey.

'''Christine:''' Oh, yeah. And that's why I'm purple instead of pink, which is your color. Cuz I'm a shining Rosey.

[''It should be noted that the block Chris is using to represent Christine is red.'']

'''Narrator:''' Okay, so anyway the family has breakfast together. [''Chris makes a horrifying "Om nom nom" esque sound, while mashing the blocks together at a table that only exists in his fevered mind.''] And the school bus arrives for the children. Yeah, so the three little kids go on the school bus. [''Chris makes a horn noise.'']

'''Rosechu:''' Oh! Bus is here, time to go to school!

'''Children:''' Okay, yay! Bye-bye mommy and daddy, see y'all later, we love y'all.

'''Sonichu:''' Ahh, y'all be get- y'all be safe.

'''Narrator:''' Okay. [''Chris slides Sonichu forwards, dropping him in the process.''] So then we go to chores.

'''Rosechu:''' Okay, yes, so I've got a few chores to do today.

'''Sonichu:''' Alright, lay 'em on- alright, tell me about them, honey. I'll do- I'll help you with them.

'''Rosechu:''' Alright, let's see, gotta clean out the gutters, uh, windows need to be washed, uhh, vacuuming, uhh, scrub the floor in the bathroom... Hm. I'll do half the- I'll do half the list, if you do the other half.

'''Sonichu:''' Sure, what do you want me to do?

'''Rosechu:''' Umm... Yeah, uhh, how about you clean the gutters, and uh, wash the windows. Uh, you did the lawn yesterday.

'''Sonichu:''' I know, I still got some grass stains in my s-quills. Heh.

'''Rosechu:''' Yeah. Hmm. If you could do the vacuuming, that'd be great. Umm... Yeah, I-I'll wa—I'll wash some dishes, I'll scrub the bathroom floor and, uh... [''Long pause, as Chris tries to come up with more engaging conversation.''] Gert and uh, did I already mention vacuuming?

'''Sonichu:''' I think you probably already did.

'''Rosechu:''' Oh, well, anyway let's go do that later. We'll just do that.

[''Chris waves the two figures around, and recites a strange chant, possibly implying that Sonichu and Rosechu do their housework by levitating and crying out to wicked pagan gods.'']

'''Rosechu:''' Oh, wait, all the chores are done!

'''Sonichu:''' That's good. Huh. Oh, and look at this, I got- I got just enough time before my usual run to town for the- to see if there are any dangers about. You want to [[Sex|do anything]] in particular?

'''Rosechu:''' Oh sure, how about if you and I, we play ''Dance Dance Revolution''? Or maybe we go do some Wii—that, or maybe some other Wii sport? [''humorously, it sounds like Rosechu says "Or maybe we go do some weed?"'']

'''Sonichu:''' That sounds like fun.

[''Chris shouts "Beep Beep!"'']

'''Sonichu:''' Uh oh! My cell phone! Yello? What's that? It's a robbery!? You need me there to help get the pri- to get the the robber outta there so you can- so these people being help captives can be safe? Alright, be right there CWCville bank. I gotta go, honey, duty calls.

'''Rosechu:''' Okay, well, be safe. We love you.

'''Sonichu:''' I love you, too.

[''Chris moves both figures off camera''] Okay. Alright so, Sonichu's dashing to the rescue! [''Chris drags the Sonichu figure across the surface a few times, and provides awful [[Chris and music|a capella background music]].''] Da-da-da-da-da zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom! But on the way, uh-oh! There's-what's this!? Little gir- uh-oh, there's a little- there's a girl in trouble.

'''Girl:''' Help, help, help!

'''Sonichu:''' What's the matter, little girl?

'''Girl:''' My cat's stuck up a tree!

'''Sonichu:''' [''Apparently under the belief that an inconveniently stuck kitty is somehow more important than several human lives''] No problem, I'll get it!

[''Suddenly blessed with the power of flight, as foreshadowed by his and Rosechu's shamanistic housekeeping rituals, Sonichu rockets skyward. He shortly returns with what might be a cat.'']

'''Sonichu:''' Here you go. Here's your cat. Pretty cat.

'''Girl:''' Thank you. Pretty k-little kitty, yeah. Kitty kitty cat.

'''Sonichu:''' Hi, I gotta go. See you later. Bye now.

'''Girl:''' Bye.

[''Chris resumes his retarded "Zoom Zoom" routine, then starts making siren noises, as Sonichu reaches his destination.'']

'''Sonichu:''' Uh-oh.

'''Fire Chief:''' There's a fire! There's fire!

'''Sonichu:''' Fire Chief! Uh-oh... Fire Chief, what's the matter? How many people we got left in the fi—how many people are left in the fire there?

'''Fire Chief:''' Uhh, looks like we got a few little more people left. We need to get 'em down.

'''Sonichu:''' You—yous—don't worry; I'll go get 'em.

[''With ''zoop'' noises interspersed throughout as each victim is fetched'']

'''Sonichu:''' There's a girl. There's an old—there's an old man. There's a nice lady. There's another girl. Uhh, I think that's—is that, uhh—I think that's all of them. Are there any more?

'''Fire Chief:''' Uhh, yeah, I think you cleared 'em all out.

'''Sonichu:''' Okay, cool. I'm going out-I gotta go. I got my own errands to run.

'''Narrator:''' Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom. Zoom. Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom... [''sigh, followed by indistinguishable sounds''] Hang on one- one- I'm thinking. Oh, yeah.

'''Fred:''' Ahh.

'''Sonichu:''' Heh, what's the matter, Fred?

'''Fred:''' Ahh, I was deliverin' the mail. My tire went out. I can't... deliver the mail now. I don't wanna be late.

'''Sonichu:''' No problem; I got it covered. I'll deliver the mail for ya.

[''Chris makes tornado noises for a few seconds while the mail is "delivered", inspiring the question of why CWCville would need a mail carrier in the first place'']

'''Sonichu:''' There ya go. Finished your course. Sorted out everything.

'''Fred:''' Ah. Thanks, man. You're a big—thanks, man. You're a big help.

'''Sonichu:''' Alright.

'''Narrator:''' Alright....

[''More zooming noises'']

'''Narrator:''' The bank! We are now at the bank! Here's the police car—here's the police car, with the policeman.

'''Sonichu:''' Alright, Constable, what's [[da update]]?

'''Constable:''' Well, da robber's in dere. ...Robber's in dere. He got everybody at—got everybody at gunpoint...Need you to go—need you go into... air duct... and, uhh... and shock the, uhh, robber... save the people.

'''Sonichu:''' Okay.

'''Robber:''' Alright... we ready?

[''The robber continues to babble in Chris's native tongue'']

'''Sonichu:''' Not so fast! [''noises of Sonichu electrocuting the robber'']

'''Robber''' Ahh! Thunderbolt! Ehhh! I'm paralyzed, I can't move! I can't even boom-boom the trigger!

'''Sonichu:''' I saved the day! Alright, ladies... and gentlemen, everybody can free.

'''Ladies... and Gentlemen:''' Yay!

'''Sonichu:''' [''presumably to the constable''] Alright, then-

[''jump-cut to a later scene'']

'''Sonichu:''' Okay, so I finished saving—okay, so it's like I saved the day, so... I will scatter around town, see if there any more trouble.

[''whooshing sounds, followed by Sonichu's steam engine ringtone'']

'''Sonichu:''' Oh. Yes, Rosey? What's up?

'''Rosechu:''' Hey, honey, listen, the school bus broke down. Would you mind run—gettin'—fetching the children and bringing them home?

'''Sonichu:''' Sure, no problem; I'll go pick 'em up.

[''zooming sounds'']

'''Child:''' Hi, Dad-addy! [''nearly incomprehensible''] Mr. Bus bwoke down. Wiyu, pwease, take us home?

'''Sonichu:''' Kids, hop on.

'''Children:''' Yee!

'''Narrator:''' [''in the form of a melodic serenade''] Gonna put the bay... Gonna carry all three. Gonna carry all three in his hands. 'Cuz he's a [[pedofork|big daddy]]... [[rape|He can take care of his children like that...]]

[''Sonichu stuffs his hands up two of the children and carries the third wedged between them.'']

'''Sonichu:''' Okay, we're going home.

[''zooming sounds'']

[''Sonichu drops one of his children head-first onto the unforgiving cement'']

'''Sonichu:''' Okay, we're home.

'''Children:''' Yay!

'''Rosechu:''' Hey, honey, you brought the children home. That's good.

'''Sonichu:''' Yeah, that's—yes... it is.

'''Narrator:''' Hmm. Mm.

'''Chris:''' Hey, everybody!

'''Unknown:''' Yay!

'''Sonichu:''' Hey, Chris—hey, Christian. How you doin'?

'''Christian:''' Oh, I'm doing very good, Sonichu. I just came by, checkin' to see... how things are goin'.

'''Sonichu:''' Oh, things are going well; I just brought the children home from school.

'''Christian:''' [''while Chris is talking, Sonichu [[30 Push-Ups|flops around]]''] Alright, cool. Well, I got some more business to do back at the Mayor's Office, but I thought I'd just drop by and say, "Hey." Alright, see y'all later.

'''Sonichu:''' Bye-bye.

[''Notice how Chris made sure Rosechu played the role of the "good bitch", keeping her mouth shut the whole time the men were talking.'']

'''Narrator:''' Okay... so... Oh, my God, it's six o'clock.

'''Sonichu:''' Okay, well, let's have dinner.

'''Unknown:''' Fixing dinner, fixing dinner. Eating dinner. Nim, nim, nim-nim-nim. Okay, TV time! We're watching TV. Yay! ''Sanford & Son'' is- [''completely butchers the theme song''] Mm. Oh, look! ''The Simpsons''! [''then ruins that theme also''] Oh... Oh, you know what? Final show for the evening: ''[[Family Guy]]''. [''tries to sing the theme song and intermittently realizes that he doesn't know the words''] It—it seems these days, all you see is... ... ...family guy! ... ... ...can do all the things that make us laugh and cry. He's the family guy. Yay! [''Rosechu collapses briefly, most likely due to alcohol intoxication.'']

'''Sonichu:''' Okay, children, you watched enough television with parental guidance and supervision per—and discretion—all that stuff. And have you finished your homework?

'''Christine:''' Yeah, we finished homework, Daddy. We finished it when we wait—when we waitin' for you to come by da school. We didn't have much, anyway.

'''Sonichu:''' Okay, well... time to go to bed.

'''Children:''' Okay, good night, Mommy and Daddy.

'''Sonichu:''' Good night, children. Okay, so... [''sexily''] what do you want to do now, sweetheart?

'''Rosechu:''' I don't know... How about, umm... snuggle up... in the bed?

[''kissing noises'']

'''Narrator:''' Don't worry; it's clean show, folks! Anyway, there you go. That's a d—that's a day in the life of Sonichu. So, hope you all enjoyed that. See you all later on the CWCipedia. Bye-bye now.

'''Rosechu:''' Bye-bye-

[''Video cuts off abruptly.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[20 December 2009]]|nextlink=[[Shout out to Fans in Hospital]]|}}

{{Videos}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Sonichu Day}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Template:Writings

2011-01-02T00:03:00Z

SeventhBase:

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#ccccff" align="center" width="95%"
| '''The Writings of Christian Weston Chandler'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px" |
'''Poetry:'''
[[Valentines Day Hymn]] |
[[For My True Love, I Would…]] |
[[Hard Love Quest]] |
[[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]] |
[[Saddest Heart in the World]] |
[[Song of Christian]] |
[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]] |
[[Jackie E-mails 16|Poem for Jackie]]

'''Stories and Tracts:'''
[[How the Pokémon came into Our Poke Balls]] |
[[A Week With Christian Chandler]] |
[[My big 18th party (story)|My big 18th party ]] |
[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]] |
[[Sonichu's News Dash]] |
[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] |
[[Story of My Current Days]] |
[[The High School Story]] |
[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]

'''See also:'''
[[Chris and writing]]

|}<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to Chris's written work. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''

- Displays:{{ {{PAGENAME}} }}
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

Template:Video of the now

2010-12-29T04:50:58Z

SeventhBase: Might as well, considering the year is over

<center>{{#ev:youtube|ugFEQ9gYmq0}}</center>
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is used to display a video, which is normally related to recent Chris activity - or in quieter times - amusing fan-created content. Suggestions for new videos of the now can be discussed on [[Template talk:Video of the now|this template's talk page]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Disguises

2010-12-26T17:10:33Z

SeventhBase:

As with [[lies|lying]], Chris is not very skilled at the art of [[Disguises|disguises]] and deception.

==Chris's Disguises==

===Bill Riley===
[[Image:BillRiley.jpg|left|thumb]]
{{quote|You know what we should do, we should make him force himself on his counslor [sic]|Novice Troll Bill Riley (NOT [[Chris|CHRIS]])}}

Bill was a 30 year old man who found nothing strange about female trolls asking about the dimensions of his genitalia. When asked why he was trolling Chris, he claimed that it was because Chris killed Clyde Cash, called him a homo, and sent him a computer virus. He did nothing in the chat except lurk, waiting for trolls to reveal a big plan. When pressured into suggesting ideas of his own, Bill suggested that trolls make Chris rape Rocky. When asked how this would troll Chris, he claimed that Chris would "compare himself" to Rocky mid-rape and see how inferior he was.

Bill was the first of Chris's attempts to impersonate a troll. From the start, there are tons of problems, the least of which being that the man in the photograph Chris provided is very clearly over the age of thirty. Chris made no effort to conceal his highly noticeable Typing Manner. Eventually, he realized he was found out.

 

===The Real Chris Chandler===
[[Image:Liquidd.jpg|left|thumb]]
{{quote|I'm just gonna keep bangin' your breasts over and over again until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!|The [[Liquid Chris|Real Chris]] (NOT [[Solid Chris|CHRIS]])}}

During the Liquid saga, Chris attempted to steal Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]]. Kacey [[Kacey Phone Call|spoke to Chris over the phone]], in which Chris attempted to impersonate her lover. He made no effort to impersonate Liquid's voice, and at one point forgot that he was supposed to be someone else. At one point, he uploaded a video in which he attempted to continue this deception to his own account--something that Liquid would not have been able to do.

Eventually, Chris decided to come clean about it. Kacey was not pleased.

 

===Samantha Thaddeus===
[[Image:Samthad.jpg|left|thumb]]
{{quote|I gotta do some grocery shopping, Plus I'm having a few cramps|Teenage Girl Samantha Thaddeus (NOT [[Chris|CHRIS]])}}

Hilarity ensued when Chris attempted to impersonate Samantha Thaddeus. Despite being in contact with her for an extended period of time prior to assuming control of her email account, his "Samantha" was completely off-track. In his very first email to Jack Thaddeus under this alias, Chris assumed the mannerisms of a cartoonish male thug working for an evil organization. As Jack strung Chris along, Chris also came into contact with [[Katie Bay E-mails|Katie Bay]]. In both of these emails, Samantha is suddenly a hilarious cross between how Chris thinks women act and how Chris thinks trolls act.

 

===Carlos Chantor===
[[Image:Chantor.jpg|left|thumb]]
{{quote|Experienced for Her Pleasure.|Sexual Master [[Carlos Chantor|Carlos Chantor]] (NOT [[Virgin|CHRIS]])}}

During the summer of 2010, Chris attempted to become a male escort under the alias of Carlos Chantor. He gave up after nobody called him. Oddly enough, this is actually his most practical disguise, as he simply hid away on a corner of the internet where nobody expected him to go, changed his name, and wore normal clothes. It just goes to show how normal Chris could look if he weren't such a lazy slob.

 

{{stub}}
{{orphaned}}

File:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg

2010-12-23T17:02:01Z

SeventhBase:

ModNation Creation of some mysterious [[Sweetheart]], since revealed to be [[Jackie]]. Now deleted from Chris's profile after their "breakup".

Tags: Angel, Fun-Loving, Sassy

ModNation Racers

2010-12-23T16:59:27Z

SeventhBase: /* Gallery */

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:ModNation Racers.jpg|thumb|''MR'' [[America]]n box art]]

'''''ModNation Racers''''' is a customizable kart racing game for the [[PS3]] and [[PSP]] that [[Chris]] has taken a liking to. It isn't quite [[2010]]'s answer to ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'', but it's close.

In addition to providing [[Autism|autistics]] with the simple gameplay used in all racing games and cute, [[Homos|gaily]]-colored characters found in [[Pokemon|many]] [[Animal Crossing|children's]] [[Sonic|games]], ''ModNation Racers'' is heavily based around user-generated content, much like ''LittleBigPlanet''. Chris can now foist his questionable [[Chris and art|design skills]] upon the world through a kart racing game.

==Chris's ModNation career==

[[Image:126473378631.JPG|thumb|200px|How Modnation looks in Chris's mind]]
When only the beta version of the game was available, Chris posted 25 screen caps of him driving a yellow, [[Sonichu]]-themed cart around an empty racetrack on the [[CWCipedia]]. These were filed under [[Copyright|"Original CWC Art"]]. Later, after the retail version arrived, he created a number of characters and cars (images are available below), as well as a CWCville track.

It is of great concern to Chris that despite his belief that he has a large [[fanbase]], barely anybody has bothered to download his poorly designed track and he continues to whore it out at every opportunity. On 17 July 2010, Chris updated his [[Twitter]] account for the first time in ages, begging his imaginary followers to give him codes for the "Mystery Mods" (promotional DLC packs included with the pre-ordered copies of the game<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/27/modnation-racers-mystery-mods-revealed/]</ref>) and to download his CWCville track so that he could acquire yet another trophy. 26 July saw yet another Twitter update whining for downloads and positive reviews.

He also posted multiple threads on the forums at [[GameFAQs]] and Gamespot making similar demands. When his initial beg-a-thons were deleted because of those boards' anti-soliciting policies, Chris, being Chris, just went ahead and posted them again.

Despite having all the free time in the world to practice his skills, Chris remained mediocre at ''ModNation Racers''. This should come as little [[Soul Calibur|surprise]]. After racing in 1000+ contests, Chris only "won" 200 of these (with a noticeable "Disconnected" and "Did Not Finish" tally indicating some [[Rage|tard-rage]] present). All in all, Chris won about 20% of the time.

Additionally, a number of his characters show they have been used in 0 races even days after their creation, meaning even Chris didn't even bother to use his own creations.

==Beta screen caps==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:MODNATION.JPG|Modnation Chris, about to go snake hunting.
Image:MODNATION_1.JPG|Sonichu license plate
Image:MODNATION_2.JPG|''Modnation'': the game that lets you make Sonichu [[medallions]]
Image:MODNATION_19.JPG|Chris plows his car into an orange pylon
</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery==

{{collapsible
|Chris's ModNation characters|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Modnation ChrisChan.jpg|Chris
File:Modnation Sonichu.jpg|[[Sonichu]]
File:Modnation Rosechu.jpg|[[Rosechu]]
File:Modnation LegoChrisChan.jpg|[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Lego Chris]]
File:Modnation LegoInfomaniac.jpg|[[Legos|The Infomaniac]]
File:Modnation 1stTransformersRacer.jpg|[[Transformers|A "Transformer"]]
File:Modnation ExcelExcel.jpg|[[Excel Saga|Excel]]
File:Modnation HayattHatchan.jpg|[[Excel Saga|Hyatt]]
File:ModNation Wild.jpg| [[Wild Sonichu]]
File:ModNation Punchy.jpg| [[Punchy Sonichu]]
File:ModNation MagiChan.jpg| [[Magi-Chan]]
File:ModNation Bubbles.jpg| [[Bubbles Rosechu]]
File:ModNation Angelica.jpg| [[Angelica]]
File:ModNation CountGraduon.jpg| [[Count Graduon]]
File:ModNation AmericanRabbit.jpg| [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|American Rabbit]]
File:ModNation PattiChan.jpg| [[Patti-Chan]]
File:ModNation ChrisChanSonichu.jpg| [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
File:ModNation PrincessClara.jpg|Princess Clara
File:ModNation FoxxyLove.jpg|Foxxy Love
File:ModNation No24MHSPlayer.jpg|A [[Niggo|basketball player]] from Chris' [[Manchester High School|high school]]
File:ModNation MHSCheerleader.jpg|...and a [[Laura_Beth_Dorazio|cheerleader]] to pair him off with.
File:ModNation No65MHSPlayer.jpg|Another basketball player.
File:ModNation 1996ChristianChandler.jpg|...and someone to pair him off with.
File:ModNation Bionic.jpg|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
File:ModNation ManchesterShirt.jpg|A [[Transformers|Transformer]](?) wearing a [[Manchester High School|Manchild High]] shirt
File:ModNation PaRappa.jpg|[[PaRappa the Rapper]]
File:ModNation TiaraBoobowski.jpg| [[List of fictional characters guest appearing in Sonichu#Sonic the Hedgehog franchise|Tiara Boobowski]]
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg| [[Son-Chu]]
File:ModNation TrollMale.jpg| [[Trolls#Devil_Trolls|Male devil troll]]
File:ModNation TrollFemale.jpg| [[Trolls#Devil_Trolls|Female devil troll]]
File:ModNation TrollbusterCal.jpg| Fighting trolls everywhere with [[The Creepy Stare|the creepy stare]]
File:ModNation TrollbusterDeeDee.jpg| ...And Sarah Palin, apparently.
File:ModNation TrollbusterTee.jpg| Laziest character design, EVER!
File:ModNation Y2KChrisChan.jpg| Chris from the year [[2000]].
File:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg| <s>ModNation Racers, the best way to express your love for [[Jackie|someone.]]</s> DELETED sometime after the "breakup".
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg| [[Sailor Megtune|...creepy,]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|disturbing]] love. But love none the less!
File:ModNation_XBox360ko.jpg| [[Hex Box]]!
File:ModNation_PS3mi.jpg| [[PS3]].
File:ModNation LordIlPalzzo.jpg| [[ScotPalazzo|Lord Palzzo]] from [[Excel Saga]].
File:ModNation BlackSonichu.jpg| [[Blake|Black Sonichu]]. Take note that he was added to ModNation Racers [[Racism|long after his wife was]].
File:ModNation PSMoveMotion.jpg| [[Nintendo|<s>Wiimote</s>]] [[PS3|Sony Move controller.]]
File:ModNation SodiumOneSoldier.jpg| [http://www.sodiumone.com/en/ Sodium One Soldier]
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|Chris's ModNation cars|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Modnation SonichuKart.jpg|A car for Sonichu
File:Modnation RosechusKart.jpg|And Rosechu too!
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|[[Son-Chu]]
File:Modnation 1991CamaroZ-28.jpg|Hot Wheels
File:Modnation JaguarXj220Revealers.jpg|More Hot Wheels
File:Modnation Zr1CorvetteRevealers.jpg|
File:Modnation PontiacBanshee.jpg|Nothing to see here
File:Modnation AMansToy.jpg|Not [[gay]] at all.
File:Modnation 1stTransformerRaceCar.jpg|Transformation not included
File:Modnation Wiimote.jpg|[[Chris and death|<s>A casket</s>]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Nintendo Wiimote]]
File:ModNation AuNatured.jpg| [[Nudes|Au "Naturel"]]
File:ModNation Prowler.jpg| [[Prower|Prowler]]
File:ModNation CountGraduonScepter.jpg| Count Graduon's [[Sex toys|Scepter]]
File:ModNation AmericanRabbitsskates.jpg| [[The_Adventures_of_The_American_Rabbit|The American Rabbit]]'s rollerskate
File:ModNation Foxxy5..jpg| A van featured in the series [[Wikipedia:Drawn Together|Drawn Together]]
File:ModNation ChrisChanSonichuKart.jpg|A kart for [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
File:ModNation Arwing.jpg|[[Wikipedia:Star_Fox_(series)#Arwing|Another game franchise ruined by Chris...]]
File:ModNation ManchesterHighShortBus.jpg|[[Slow-in-the-minds|The short bus]]
File:ModNation TrollbustersTruck.jpg| Who you gonna call? The [[Trolls|Troll]][[Ghostbusters|Busters!]]
File:ModNation TrollbustersCar.jpg| Perfect for running over those [[B-Manajerk|pesky]] [[Michael Snyder|trolls.]]
File:ModNation BombDeliveryRobot.jpg| Of all the robots from [[Excel Saga|this show]], he makes this instead of the gynoids.
File:ModNation PSMoveNavigator.jpg| So much for [[The MovingFoward videos|"moving forward"]]
File:ModNation SaltShooterTank.jpg| [http://www.sodiumone.com/en/ Salt Shooter tank]
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|"Tour de CWCville" ModNation tracks|<gallery perrow="4">
File:CWCvilleTrackCity.jpg| [[CWCville|Downtown]]
File:CWCvilleTrackPark.jpg| [[McIntire Park|CWCville Park]]
File:CWCvilleTrackForest.jpg| [[Rape|CWCville Forest]]
File:CWCvilleTrackMountain.jpg| CWCville Mountains
File:CWCvilleTrackBeach.jpg| [[Sonichu_8#Episode 18: "Spring Break, 2008!"|CWCvillle Beach]]
File:ModNationCity.jpg| ModNation City
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|High-res character mods|<gallery perrow="4">
File:ModNationRacers.JPG|[[Jackie]].
File:ModNationRacers 1.JPG|Chris expects Jackie to walk around in a T-shirt that says "Chris Loves Jackie". Might have as well said "Property of Chris-chan".
File:ModNation Racers 108.JPG|[[Patti Chandler|Patti]]. If the 2D shot was passable, the actual 3D model is creepy.
File:ModNation Racers 109.JPG|Dog tails don't work that way.
File:ModNation Racers 121.JPG|Duuuuuude.
File:ModNation Racers 110.JPG|Chris: "Hi! Wanna go to my treehouse and have sex?"
File:ModNation Racers 111.JPG|[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], with a painted-on face.
File:ModNationRacers 226.JPG|Sonichu, with a painted-on tail.
File:ModNation Racers 112.JPG|[[Rosechu]], a deer in Chris's headlights.
File:ModNationRacers 227.JPG|Rosechu's back.
File:ModNationRacers 113.JPG|[[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]], very scared of Chris.
File:ModNationRacers 114.JPG|[[Angelica Rosechu|Angelica]], very scared of Chris.
File:ModNationRacers 115.JPG|[[Wild Sonichu|Wild]], in middle of learning the theory of advanced mass debating techniques.
File:ModNationRacers 116.JPG|[[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]], having finally activated the satellite dishes under his ears.
File:ModNationRacers 117.JPG|[[Magi-Chan]], using his superior intellect and psychic powers to detect that particularly remarkable good young man's ass.
File:ModNationRacers 118.JPG|Magi-Chan uses his knowledge of modern Internet vernacular for a bit of "ಠ_ಠ", as the kids nowadays call it.
File:ModNation Racers 119.JPG|[[Count Graduon]], demoted from the series's primary villain to a recolored watermelon.
File:ModNation Racers 122.JPG|[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], like Magi-Chan, has a bit of trouble staying straight, when his ass-detection is working too well.
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|High-res vehicle mods|<gallery perrow="4">
File:ModNation Racers 123.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 124.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 125.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 126.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 127.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 128.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 129.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 130.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 131.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 132.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 136.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 137.JPG
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|High-res race shots|<gallery perrow="4">
File:ModNation Racers 140.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 141.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 145.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 206.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 207.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 223.JPG
</gallery>}}

==See also==

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==

*[http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu Chris's ModNation profile]

[[Category:Video Games]]

Jackie

2010-11-23T07:17:30Z

SeventhBase: /* Oops, He Did it Again? */

{{quote|And you will be safe, as long as I [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|do not talk]] about you at all online|[[Jackie e-mails|Every good show needs some foreshadowing]]}}

[[Image:JackSweetheart.jpg|thumb|Jackie IRL, note the shirt and bracelet]]
[[Image:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg|thumb|"[[Sweetheart]]" in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', note the shirt and bracelet]]

'''Jacklyn "Jackie" Romy''' is a woman whom [[Chris]] met on [[The Hook Cafe]].

==Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile (Username Luv2Jax)==

===Sexy sweetie looking for love===

I'm a little shy about this, but here goes... I'm looking for a guy between about 26-30 (I like my guys a little older, just call me [[Bob Chandler|old fashioned]] I guess) who is tall, has an [[Chris and health|athletic build, straight teeth, and a good smile.]] I don't really care what you do so long as you're [[monthly tugboat|Chandlerdriven]]; I care more about a [[Chris and fashion|nice sense of style]] and [[Fridays After Five|outgoing personality]]. I want [[Virgin with rage|someone who doesn't need to be with someone but wants to because he knows how amazing it can be!]]

Things I like to do, let's see... I love to go biking, it'd be nice if you did too. I love to play golf as well. I like to go out afer work, [[McDonalds|go to dinner]], [[SpaghettiRoutine|cook dinner]] together (I LOVE to cook), spend the weekend [[Chris and rape|at my family's cabin]], travel, road trip and have [[Hanky-Panky|sex]]. Lots and lots of sex. (not gonna [[List of Chris's lies|lie]]!) Probably during some of the activities I just listed... I want that chemistry that is so strong, just a kiss can lead to wanting to have sex right then and there...
I suppose you want to know a little about me, hm?

I'm 5'3", slender, I don't [[Tobacky|smoke]] (HATE it) but I [[Chris's Big Night Out|drink]] once in a while. I graduated college last year and I work as an [[Chris and English|editor]] for a magazine. I love every day. [[Sonichu's Edge|I run in road races]]. [[Chris and money|Oh, and I shop]]. [[Rosechu|I shop a LOT.]] :) Most importantly, I want that [[Autism|special]] someone I can share my life with and start a family with.

[[Chris and his ego|If you're reading this and you feel like it describes you, I hope you'll email me back!]]

===Characteristics===
Gender: '''Woman''' 
Current Status: '''Single''' 
Looking for: '''Friends, Casual Dating, Long-term Relationship''' 
Body Type: '''Slender, Petite, Curvy''' 
Eyes: '''Hazel''' 
Height: '''5' 03"''' 
Hair Type: '''Red''' 
Age: '''22''' 
Seeks: [[Duck|'''Man for Dating, Man for Friendship''']]

===Profile===
Education: '''College graduate''' 
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian''' 
Religion: '''Unitarian''' 
Political Leanings: '''Independent, Kinky''' 
Neighborhood: '''Charlottesville''' 
City: '''Charlottesville''' 
Occupation: '''Magazine Editor''' 
Have Children: '''No''' 
Want Children: '''[[Crystal Weston Chandler|Yes]]'''

===Habits===
Smoking: '''[[Tobacky|Never]]''' 
Drinking: '''[[Alcohol|Sometimes]]''' 
Drugs: '''Not interested'''

===Personality===
I get around town via: '''[[Son-Chu|Car]], Bycicle, Walk''' 
My dietary preferences are: '''[[Nudes|No red meat]]''' 
I spend my free time: '''Reading, Sex, Creating, Working out, [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Watching movies]], Shopping, Biking, Frisbee Golf''' 
Funniest Thing: '''[[Random Access Humor|A monkey on roller skates]]'''

===Deeper===
'''If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, wo'd be coming?'''
Wilt Chamberlain, [[Anne Boleyn|Queen Elizabeth I]], [[Mailbag_1#Chris_the_inventor|Leonardo Da Vinci]] and [[Homo|Liberace]].

'''What's under your bed?''' My old [[PSP|Playstation]]... it's my guilty pleasure!

'''Two books that everybody should read are''' [[Father_Call#Literature_and_health|Of Mice and Men]] and the Great Gatsby.

===Fill It===
I'm an open-minded person, but '''[[Chris and race|big]][[Homos|ot]][[Women's rights|ry]]''' is a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: the brain of a '''[[art|Andy Warhol]]''' and the body of a '''[[Power|Brad Pitt]]'''

People say '''my smile is my best feature'''.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''... ask me...'''

The quickest way to my heart is '''[[SpaghettiRoutine|good cooking]]''' The quickest way to my [[Hanky-panky|bed]] is '''[[51 50|strong, muscly arms]]'''' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked '''basted'''

The last concert I attented was '''[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|Crash Test Dummies]]'''

My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''[[Wikipedia:Digimon|Digimon]]'''

'''Dogwood''' is my favorite local festival.

I wouldn't sell '''my body''' for a billion dollars.

'''[[Vanessa Hudgens|Christina Ricci]]''' is the celebrity I've been told I resemble.

'''[[China|P.F. Changs]]''' is my favorite restaurant.

===In and Out===
The Corner or '''[[CWCville Shopping Center|Downtown Mall]]'''

'''Blockbuster''' or Sneak Reviews

'''[[Matthew Noble call|Best Buy]]''' or Sidetracks

'''Wireless''' or Landline

'''Aristocrat''' or Grey Goose

[[100 2269|Beatles]] or '''Stones'''

CD or '''MP3'''

'''Carmike''' or Vinegar Hill

Dogs or '''[[Cats]]'''

'''Summer''' or Winter

[[Niggos|Black]] or '''[[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Brown]]'''

'''[[Long Island Iced Tea|Bars]]''' or [[14 Branchland Court|Stay Home]]

Kroger or '''Whole Food'''

'''PC''' or Mac

'''Wheel of Fortune''' or Grey's Anatomy

Steak or '''[[Pickles|Salad]]'''

Steak or '''Sushi'''

'''Cavaliers''' or [[Cherokian Clan|Redskins]]

'''Casket''' or Cremation

Fax or '''[[Email]]'''

Dyed or '''Natural'''

'''Pumps''' or Flats

'''Beach''' or Mountains

SUV or '''Sedan'''

==First contact==

{{main|Jackie Emails}}

Jackie corresponded with Chris in a series of emails spanning from 5-21 [[April 2010]]. The exchange culminated in a rather disturbing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|video]] outlining Chris's knowledge of cunnilingus in lurid detail.

==A new dawn?==
In early [[September 2010]] his [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|E-Mail exchange with Clyde and Tito]] suggests the possibility of a new sweetheart, but Chris refuses to reveal her name. Furthermore, he uploaded a ''[[ModNation]]'' character generically named 'Sweetheart', which was discussed to be another [[Chloe]] or [[Wallflower]].

On 13 September 2010 Chris uploaded a [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|video]] officially proclaiming his love to Jackie. Three days later, he produced a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|video]] capitalizing on Jackie's love for Canadian band, Crash Test Dummies, while ''[[Chris and race|in blackface]]''. Chris then spent [[October 2010|October]] [[Chris and cosplaying|cosplaying]] as various characters from [[100 2265|The Hamburglar]] to his own [[ECV 00002|Chris-chan]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Sonichu]]. It appears that Jackie is fast on her way to becoming the new [[Ivy]].

==Lars==
'''Lars McNulty''' is Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]], whom Jackie left over his [[PS3#PlayStation Network|ridiculous obsession]] with [[ModNation Racers|model boats]]. Beginning in late [[September 2010]], Chris developed an [[autism|intense fixation]] on Lars and released a number of videos mocking and attacking his erstwhile rival.

Chris's [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|first video addressing Lars]] appeared on 25 September, in which Chris proves who is the bigger and stronger man by smashing a model boat made of [[Lego]]. A [[New Address|second video]] appeared two days later, where Chris gloats over how Lars has lost Jackie, explains how he will fulfill her every desire, and warns Lars not to mess with her — or [[Death threats|Chris will intervene]]. Three days after that, he continued to mock Lars's interest in boats and set to [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|babbling about tape dispensers]]. (An [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|extended version]] of this third video appeared on 2 October.)

Subsequent videos in the first two weeks of October addressed other subjects, but Chris returned his attention to Lars in a [[100 2281|fourth video]] released in the wee hours of 15 October. There, a drunk Chris sported a [[Wikipedia:Do-rag|do-rag]] and accused Lars of spreading the old rumor that he's a [[homo]].

On 6 November, [[Lars Call|audio]] was released of a call between Lars and Chris.

==Oops, He Did it Again?==
{{quote|We'll be very happy together. I know it. I will make you happy as much as possible. And when you're feeling down, I'll make you feel better. I love you.|Chris, [[Stare|giving the Creepy Stare]] to his beloved.}}
On 30 [[October 2010]], an [[alcohol|inebriated]]-looking Chris posted a [[ToJackie|video]] in which he pleads Jackie to stay with him. Since there have been no Jackie-related videos since then, and Chris has decided to [[100 2357.MOV|quit the internet]] '''again''', it is safe to say that they have "split up" since then.

{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Romy, Jacklyn}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]

User:SeventhBase

2010-11-17T02:17:55Z

SeventhBase:

Currently rooming with a [[Jerkop]].

== Ideas that surely hold importance somewhere ==

[[User:SeventhBase/Misc Ideas|Found here.]]

[[User:SeventhBase/Art style|Visual analysis of Chris's work over the years.]]

== Stupid questions I ask ==

*Who evolves first? I refer, of course to our favorite nuclear family [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|larvae]]. Assuming that Chris doesn't want them hopelessly locked in childhood so he can re-live his playtime vicariously through them, he's got to show them grown up some time in the future, like he did with [[Metonic]] and [[Vamprosa]]. Some day, they've got to get out of those revulsion-inducing Sonee forms and become marginally less intolerable Sonic recolors. So who comes first?
**Cerah, by virtue of her being the eldest
**Christine, 'cause she's a super special shiny pwetty wosey as well as a Sue for Crystal
**Robbie, because [[sexism|he's the boy]] and a Sue for Chris himself
:(This assumes, of course, that Chris has any idea of character development, which we all know is one of the innumerable things he fails at. And yeah, this is just my curiosity at how Chris will design their evolved forms. They will no doubt be ugly and poorly designed.)
:But [[User:j0haely|j0]]'s designs are pretty cool.
*Doesn't ANYONE have a copy of the [[Sonichu Fan Promo]]s?!
*Does "[[Chris Calls Clyde Out|Blangry]]" a portmanteau of "[[Niggos|Black]]" and "Angry"?
*Who the fuck is [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Angelica_Rosechu Fritz Richmond] supposed to be? Since Chris lacks originality, he's got to be based on some IRL minister.

== Next major task(s) ==

*Redirect old [[CWCipedia]] and [[CWC's Sonichu Site|Official Website]] links to the current archive.
*Transcriptions! Next up: [[Mumble]]. After that... [[CWC's Slideshow]]. [[User:SeventhBase/CWC's Slideshow|Wish me luck...]]
*Documenting [[User:SeventhBase/List of Sonichu appearances|all the places Chris has scrawled Sonichu]].

== Userboxes ==

{{JERK}}
{{Straight|male}}
{{Asian}}
{{userbox
|box-border-col= #000
|box-bg-col= #FFF
|id-bg-col= #FFF
|id-border-col= #FFF
|info-col= #000
|info-bg-col= #FFF
|info-border-col = #FFF
|id= [[Image:CWCFighter.jpg|75px|Watch out!]]
|info= '''Martial Artist''' This user [[CWC Fighter|has a little Chun-Li in them]]!!}}
{{Jew}}
{{Americunt}}
{{Krapplefag}}
{{Squirtle}}
{{Armchair Psychologist}}
{{Observer}}

Lego

2010-11-17T02:12:20Z

SeventhBase: /* See also */

[[Image:118-LegoCWC.jpg|thumb|Chris is just as [[fail]] in his Lego form as in any other]]

'''Lego'''™ is a brand of plastic building block [[toys]]. They are noted for their durability and ease of use allowing the creation of almost anything imaginable.

[[Chris]] has relied heavily on Lego blocks to put his creations into reality. They were a staple gift during his childhood [[Christmas]], his late teens, and his early twenties... The truth is, there are many AFOLs (Adult Fan Of Lego) around the world; some of them are even in their 40s and have families. In video game industry, respected designers like [[Metal Gear Solid|Hideo Kojima]] think Lego makes building level prototypes easy. Chris obviously isn't quite there yet.

== Chris Lego Brick creations ==
[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|Panoramic vista of [[CWCville]], in all its blocky glory|thumb]]

* [[Pixelated PS3]] (also made with [[Pixelblocks]])
* Model [[CWCville]]
* [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
* [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Titanic-like boat]]
* [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag "Heavy-duty case"] to hold his [[Card_games#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG|Pokémon]] card decks, acknowledged by Chris as one of his most noteworthy [[inventions]] (also held together with tape)

Chris has also found other uses for his Lego besides simply building stuff. In his [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|AIM chat]] with Vivian Gee, he noted that he uses his Lego figurines to "rehearse" imaginary conversations with women.

== Influences ==
Bionicle, a very successful line of sets based on the adventures of biomechanical beings each gifted with elemental powers, may have (along with ''[[Pokémon]]'') influenced the creation of the [[Chaotic Combo]]. It should be noted, however, that the former came out about four years later than the latter, so Pokémon likely left their imprint first, especially since it had more elemental types.

Inspired by his [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]], [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] have a pair of Lego go-karts [[:File:SchuComic9P35.jpg|in their garage]], the only vehicles they are shown to possess. This raises a number of problems; firstly, we are expected to believe that a bunch of giant plastic blocks, held together by frictional force alone, without visible seatbelts or a rollover cage, constitutes a road-safe vehicle. Second, each kart can only seat one individual. That's fine and dandy for the two adults, but where does that leave their children? Lastly, as they lack proper seats and possess a studded surface, they would be uncomfortable to drive in.

== 启蒙 (Enlighten) Bricks Police Station set==

[[Image:Comparisonsmall2.jpg|thumb|One of these things is not like the other...]]

In one of Chris's birthday photos he is seen holding what appears to be a new Lego "6332-1 - Command Post Central".<ref>Link to Peeron page on set [http://www.peeron.com/inv/sets/6332-1 "6332-1 Command Post Central"]</ref> Upon further inspection it is apparent that is merely a rebranded 启蒙 Bricks "POLICE SERIES" set which is almost a direct clone of the original Lego set. Presumably the 启蒙 Bricks logo was altered by a third party and replaced with "LEGO bricks." Chris's parents probably bought it relatively cheap at a discount store that carries knock-off brands, so it's not like they were shopping for a quality present for Chris in the first place. It should be noted that 启蒙 Bricks are much more fragile than Lego and are of generally much poorer quality than Lego sets are, something that probably went unnoticed by Chris.

==Gallery==
<center>
{{cg|Gallery of Lego|legogallery|center|<gallery>
Image:0092-Christians14th.jpg|Spyrius, fuck yeah! Christian's 14th birthday.
Image:0790-CMas05-5.jpg|Chris and his new Lego in [[2005]]. Proof of pirated toy, look at the "Brick" font. Note that he is ''23'' in this photo.
Image:0784-LegoPS3-1.JPG|The [[pixelated PS3]] of fail.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:0128-Christmas96-6.jpg|Chris and his new Lego in [[1996]]
Image:400-LegKrt1.jpg|If you have no idea how to make your own Lego Go-Cart, Chris has your back.
Image:401-LegKrt2.jpg
Image:0424-CwcvilleBandStand1.jpg|A Lego gift to [[Cole Smithey]], perhaps Chris's first [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|band]]?
Image:0425-CwcvilleBandStand2.jpg|A better view.
Image:0426-InformationCenter1.jpg|A model of the Information Center from Lego Island.
Image:0427-InformationCenter2.jpg|A rear view of the Information Center
Image:0428-InformationCenter3.jpg|Further away view of Information Center.
Image:0429-ChristianWTallStack1.jpg|A face expressing either pride or gas
Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|[[Duck|More than seven inches long!]]
Image:0431-CWCNuculus.jpg
Image:0440-CWCAndHis9Karts.jpg
Image:0438-CWCsMarioKartsX8.jpg
Image:0439-CWCsMarioKartsX9.jpg
Image:0441-MarioKartGPGroup.jpg
Image:0443-9KartCarrier1.jpg
Image:0785-LegoPS3-2.JPG|Moar of the pixelated PS3.
Image:0783-LegoPS3AndGuitar.JPG|Pixelated PS3 and the [[Gitar]].
Image:0111-LegoWalkman1.jpg|An earlier effort: The Lego Walkman
Image:0828-EP12-5P7-1.jpg|Bionicle, the door's poster and figures in upper left corner.
Image:0822-EP12-5P6-4.jpg|TIE Fighters zoom above a part of Lego CWCville
Image:0825-EP12-5P6-8.jpg
Image:0824-EP12-5P6-9.jpg|CWCville: An overbuilt Hell-hole ruled by a man-child.
Image:0826-EP12-5P6-7.jpg|The money that paid for this could have gone to cancer patients.
</gallery>}}
</center>

==See also==
[[File:Modnation LegoChrisChan.jpg|thumb|Lego Chris in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]

*[[List of Chris's games]]
*[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
*[[Pixelblocks]]
*[[A Sonichu Day]]
*[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]
*[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]
*[[PlayingHouse]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

[[Category:Hobbies]]

Dramatic Glasses Removal

2010-11-17T02:04:51Z

SeventhBase: Redirected page to Pedo-glasses

#REDIRECT [[Pedo-glasses]]

Chris and health

2010-11-17T02:01:09Z

SeventhBase: /* Other deformities */

{{quote|Eat less cow meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and Fruit are a must; Walking or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|Chris' [[Chris and Hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_2</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|Chris in a few years.]]
[[Chris]], as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine could plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], lack of exercise, poor nutrition, refusal to take a shower, and the grave disrepair/uncleanliness of his surroundings, he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life threatening medical problems such as cancer, heart disease or diabetes.

==Nutrition==
{{main|Obesity}}
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|left|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of this word]]
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily.]]
Chris is a known fast food lover, eating either [[McDonald's]] or [[Burger King]] (usually with his [[Bob Chandler|father]]) at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to four times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring calorific intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. On the rare occasion that [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] does cook, it usually involves some cheap and easy-to-make food that often is not healthy.{{cite}} Many, many times, has Chris been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water, and that he drinks a lot of [[CWC Cola|carbonated drinks]] and [[semen|energy drinks]] (which have been proven to increase erratic behavior). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:

* Breakfast: Usually nothing because he usually sleeps from 6 a.m. to noon, but on the rare occasion he does eat McDonald's, or some other fast food restaurant with breakfast options.
* Lunch: Something quick at home, or fast food, either alone or with his father.
* Dinner: Eat out with family or poorly cooked meal by Barbara (although with her deteriorating health, her poorly cooked meals may just become replaced by more fast food) or fast food.

In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[Dirty crapped briefs|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|ramming stuff in his shit tube]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>[[Wikipedia:Fecal_incontinence#Constipation|Fecal incontinence on Wikipedia]]</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no vegetables or fruit is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.

In short, Chris is a fatty, he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.

It seems that his diet has finally caught up with him, as it was revealed in the [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father that Chris's doctor has prescribed him [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]] for his high cholesterol. Chris claims that he stopped taking the drug in the fall of [[2009]], but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the conversation) is uncertain.

===Places where Chris likes to eat===
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonalds]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]

==Exercise==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is Strong and Powerful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

Chris has probably never had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[video games]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight left his skin a frightening white that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room while making videos. One might say that Chris is actually strong from having a lot of weight; however, in normal people, this happens because the muscles must build up in order to be capable of moving a large weight. Since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of blubber, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise. Needless to say Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere thirty seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to [[I AM STRONG|flexing]] and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting an office chair and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could defeat both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should it to come to blows, and as such has challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is, he's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWCFighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to get his wish and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog five miles a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take six breaks to catch his breath, whereas with a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.
{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}
[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|Did you bathe? *SPOILER* No]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris marinates in his own filth.]]

Chris's hygiene is perhaps his worst quality. Many times has Chris regarded [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower. According to [[Emily]], he smelled of "rotten watermelons;" [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said body odor masked with gallons of Axe. Chris compounds this problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for as long as a week at a stretch.

Unless being immersed in his surroundings for so long has destroyed his ability to note his foul vapors, it's a marvel that Chris refuses to indulge in basic hygienic activities. Most likely, it's because time spent in the shower is time not spent playing video games, drawing terrible comics, or stalking young ladies. If he showered regularly, his -45% chance of finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] would erupt all the way up to 0%.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[the GAMe PLACe]], and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he keeps a bottle on hand at all times.

{{clear}}

==Dental health==
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|right|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's [[honest content]]!]]
Chris's fondness for baring his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, expensive dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell, in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is the result of large consumption of [[My Coke Rewards|carbonated drinks]], poor dental hygiene, and refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]].
{{clear}}
==Mental health==

[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto). Chris is so very, very screwed up that it's impossible to tell if he's really mentally ill or just that much of a waste of space.

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most, even more than his autism, is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him such a frustrating failure of a human being—he refuses to advance mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics.

His social awkwardness, narcissism, and several other unwanted traits trace back to his inept parents, who spoil him and tell him life will be all sugar and [[rainbow]]s. It is quite possible that Chris doesn't feel like his life has truly begun, that he is still in the "pre-adult" years—this could be related to Chris still being a [[virgin]], and a possible belief, subconscious or otherwise, that he isn't able to truly be an adult until he has sex. Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world, as well as basic feelings such as empathy, sympathy and humility. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internets), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[dildo]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always [[Barbara#Pampering_of_Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. As his mother, we will accept motherly bias as a mitigating factor in these statements.
* He has an inability to remember faces. For example, during the [[Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8Page24.jpg ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Many people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However…]]

==Sexual health==

In [[Jackie e-mails|correspondence]] with Jackie, Chris revealed he was checked for STDs.

'''SPOILER ALERT:''' He doesn't have any for [[virgin with rage|obvious reasons]].

Bent at a horrifying 45° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly Peyronie's disease), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably, thankfully, never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, more important things on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|the taxpayers']]) money.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in [[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this photo]] of a young Chris, his right eye is green. He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[Asperger's syndrome]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch, and accent. It can probably work backwards too, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice. In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact he has little to no human interaction, which such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're in the spectrum of Autistic. With enough isolation, this will most likely become permanent for the rest of his life. His whole good, ten years if he's lucky, life.

[[/cwc/|Some]] have pointed out that Chris has an unusually wide [[wikipedia:Nasal septum|septum]], as seen in [[:File:Myspace.jpg|this picture]]. Others go as far as to say he lacks one altogether. The cause of this, like his bent duck, is yet unknown.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Obesity]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

A Hike

2010-11-16T07:00:56Z

SeventhBase: Fixed link

[[File:monticello.jpeg|thumb|The "village" of Monticello]]

'''A Hike''' is a rare video that takes place both during the day and outdoors. The video is broken up into small chunks with [[Chris]] alternating between hiking and filming, [[Chris and health|presumably the exertion from walking up a slight grade requires all the energy he can muster]].

In what can be considered the spiritual successor to the [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]], he is immediately out of breath after the first cut and continues to deteriorate from that point. [[The Miscreants|Top men]] calculate the filming took place at the [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/trail.html Saunders-Monticello Trail].

While it is difficult to try to guess why Chris does things, a person might find it odd that he turns his camera off while walking. One theory might be he doesn't want people to see how little exercise it will take to get him tired. Thanks to a map of the Saunders-Monticello Trail (found [http://www.monticello.org/sites/default/files/media/temp/MonticelloTrailMap.pdf here]), we can calculate the relative health of Chris by comparing his breathing with the actual distance covered. Using the scale of the map, estimates place the distance from his car to the Palmer Woodland Theater at roughly 275 yards (250 m), or about 15% of a mile. It should be noted that this also happens to be the approximate distance of a walk if Chris were to start at the beginning of Branchland Court, walk around the cul-de-sac at the end of the street, and return from whence he started. Along with traversing the grueling 275-yard trail, Chris climbed an astounding 13 yards (12 m) in elevation.

Chris repeatedly refers to [[Wikipedia:Monticello|Monticello]], the historic home of famed Virginian and [[America]]n [[Wikipedia:Founding Fathers of the United States|Founding Father]] [[Wikipedia:Thomas Jefferson|Thomas Jefferson]], as "The" Monticello for no reason.

==Description==
{{EmailReply|I took a hike.}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Hike
| video = {{#ev:youtube|37pXWB9rjBU}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ECV 00001]]
| next = [[ECV 00002]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

[[File:Chris' River.jpg|thumb||What could be a 2ft stream, Chris considers a river]]
[[File:Mississipi River.jpg|thumb|The Mississippi River is 20-30ft wide]]
[[File:Chris' river 2.jpg|thumb||right|What could be a tiny creek, Chris considers a BIG river]]
[[File:Ohio River.jpg|right|thumb|The Ohio River is one mile wide]]
[[File:Ditch.jpg|thumb|What could be a 5ft deep ditch, Chris considers a chasm]]
[[File:Purgatory Chasm.jpg|thumb|A real chasm]]
[[File:Blairchris.png|thumb|The parallels are eerie.]]

'''0:00-0:14''' ''[Chris is filming himself with his handheld camera. He is sitting in his car in broad daylight. Children scream in the background]''

Quarter after three now. I'm gonna be making my way up a mountain trail nearby [[Wikipedia:Monticello|The Monticello]]. I'll check back in about a quarter of an hour. I've got my ''[[wikipedia:OFF!|OFF!]]'', an' got my camera here and my phone. Be okay.

''[Jump cut, Chris has begun to labor in his breathing]''

'''0:15-0:27''' Ah, just a few minutes into my little hiking trail. So I walk off course to visit the little woodland theater or Palmer that [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|my congregation]] and I visited one past Sunday

'''0:27-0:35''' ''[Chris walks up to the stage of the theater and pans the camera around the sitting area]''

'''0:35-0:38''' ...and now I'm gonna walk up further up the trail and I'll be back in a bit.

''[Jump cut, Chris is standing still.]''

'''0:38-0:55''' Annuder trail has gone esplored by me, so I'm gonna take a little look up the trail and see what's up this way. Check in in a bit, it is quite a mysterious forest. Along the mountain beside The Monticello.

''[Cut to dead tree]''

'''0:55-1:10''' Hm. A tree that has been uprooted by a past weather event, along the side of this path. Deep in the chasm, that forms a river. [[Random access humor|Which could be a river, if there was more water in it]].

''[Jump cut, Chris's heavy breathing is slowly replacing the narration as the dominant soundtrack]''

'''1:10-1:31''' Deeper and deeper into the forest the trail goes, where it leads? I don't know yet. There's a rock with moss. Moss grows on the north side. On tree bark or rock formations. I just walked across a wooden plank.

'''1:31-2:01''' ''[Prolonged gasping for air]''

'''2:01-2:21''' If you think it's spooky. Well, you're wrong. Because it's only a stick I've stepped on. [[Obesity|A really big stick]]. North is that way! As I have seen, on this rock and its mold.

'''2:21-2:51''' ''[Chris continues breathing heavily]''

'''2:53-3:03''' ''[Narration becomes slower and slower with more breaks]'' Huh, look at that. A tree bit formation with moss on the wrong side. Bet it got twisted and turned. That's why it's on the wrong side. Isn't it?

'''3:03-3:29''' ''[Chris continues his way up the trail, struggling for air]''

'''3:30-3:43''' It is a sunny day in the village of Monticello. It's even a sunny day in the forest. Things may or may not be well, we'll see what what happens as we walk long this trail

'''3:43-3:56''' ''[Breathing continues horribly]''

'''3:56-4:04''' Huh, another tree fallen. [[Chris_and_music#Singing|''[Chris sings]'' Free fallin']]. Cut up chucks.

'''4:04-4:14''' ''[Chris takes a pause from his narration again]''

'''4:14-4:55''' Ah, look at this, a bit of an open field. A field that is open for play by one animal or two, or so. Quite possibly, many more. I think we go this way in the fork of the road. Other way goes back to civilization and I'm not ready to head back just yet. Look at that ''[Chris points the camera at a tree]'' a shade of red on this tree. One would suppose, rotted? Or dead wood? Or perhaps it is just dirty from dirt and grime thrown upon by its wondrous past.

'''4:55-5:01''' Over here, there's another big tree. OVER THERE! Fallen and uprooted.

'''5:02-5:21''' ''[Heavy breathing, slow walking, shaky camera]''

'''5:22-5:27''' Quite a chasm down there. If that were water, it probably would be a river. A big one.

'''5:28-5:57''' ''[Heavy breathing; Chris burps loudly at '''5:36''']''

'''5:57-6:02''' Goin' up the trail, not down the trail. Goin' up the trail not down the trail.

'''6:02-6:28''' ''[At this point, it's safe to say Chris is about to give up]''

'''6:28-6:46''' I'd care to comment, but you know what? I'd just prefer to marvel on nature and it's revels. [[Random-access humor|A bug buzzing about me. Not busy as a bumble bee.]]

'''6:46-7:33''' ''[Camera spends prolonged periods of time pointed at the ground, Chris is now gulping air. Chris utters two pained grunts around the '''7:25''' mark.]''

'''7:33-7:38''' Whew, a long way up we have gotten.

'''7:38-8:01''' ''[Chris is stumbling with exhaustion and stops midway on the trail. He [[Stress sigh|sighs]] at '''7:56''']''

'''8:01-8:20''' Well I think we've reached the end of our trail, not too many ways to go, yeah? We have reached a dead end.
''[Camera clearly shows the trail continuing off to the right, despite Chris's claims to the contrary]''

Rest a moment and I'm going to head by to [[Son-Chu|my car]]. Take a hiking trail of your own, if you will, in your own forest where there in dwell.

''[Jump cut]''

'''8:21-8:30''' Another commentary note, if you will, for down that big trail at that major fork with the clearing, we find an overlook. Let's take a look over.

'''8:30-8:38''' ''[Chris approaches the overlook and shows a view of plain trees and grass]''

'''8:38-8:47''' Hm. Vast glorious view from here. As was portrayed and enjoyed by the Carter family.

'''8:47-end''' ''[Chris points the camera at himself. He is flushed, pale, and drenched with sweat]''

Signing off now, y'all take care and be s-

==See also==
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|A Kike]]

==External links==
* [http://www.monticello.org/sites/default/files/media/temp/MonticelloTrailMap.pdf Map of the Saunders-Monticello Trail] — what an average human could walk through in fewer than fifteen minutes without breaking a sweat.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ECV 00001]]|nextlink=[[ECV 00002]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

SonichuBabies

2010-11-12T05:19:52Z

SeventhBase: /* Video */

[[File:11cfxgi.jpg.png|thumb|What the sonichu babies could have looked like [[Chris and art|if Chris could draw]]]]

'''SonichuBabies''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris rips off the [[1980s]] cartoon ''Muppet Babies'' by recasting the [[Chaotic Combo]] as [[Sonee and Rosey|babies]]. Much like [[Things Chris has ripped off|everything else he steals]], Chris's version of the series lacks any of the charm and wit the original cartoon had, transforming it into "Chaotic Combo as babies, doing stuff babies aren't ''supposed'' to be doing!"

Chris shows us his lack of understanding about what constitutes proper childcare by leaving the little creatures unattended. Showing that they aren't mature enough to be left alone for extended periods, the children [[Chris and sex|kiss]], watch TV shows meant for older audiences, ostracize Blake, and [[CWC Fighter|fight]] - Punchy even goes so far as to knock Wild out of a window, which could give Wild serious injuries.

This marks the first time Chris has actually done ''anything'' with his beloved Sonichu Characters since the [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas Special.]] Much to the [[Trolls|fans']] chagrin, Chris has decided to take all of his characters and turn them all into [[Sonee & Rosey|the most annoying part]] of the CWCVerse.

It should be noted that this is the first time a Sonee of Blake has appeared, casting him as [[wikipedia:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]], despite the fact that there's nothing to compare the two together, much less the rest of the characters. Also note that Chris [[autism|has to describe Blake's personality in detail]].

Also worth mentioning is that ''Sonichu Babies'' was the name of one of the stories in [[Sonichu 3]], though it was an origin story for the Combo. Since the Chaotic Combo never met in the comics until they evolved, and since it is established in the comics that Sonichu, Rosechu and Blake were never sonees or rosees at any point (Sonichu and Rosechu were transformed by the Chaotic Rainbow and Blake was cloned) it's possible that this is not canon in the CWCVerse, or a complete retcon.

As a further testament to Chris's utter lack of imagination, the vignette featuring Young Rosechu and Young Sonichu features the same elements from his [[PlayingHouse|other short]] that was released the same day: The wife works as a journalist, while the husband stays at home and is supposed to take care of a crying and shitting baby but delegates the task to the older sibling.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = SonichuBabies
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J3IuXNk5_LU}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}} {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[PlayingHouse]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Wittle Cute Sonees Page 1 by johaely.jpg|thumb|Sonichu babies!]]

''[Displays four crude drawings of members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] as babies, stuck to the end of what appear to be pens or straws, singing]'' Dooweeoooh, [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] babies, we make our dreams come truueee...

''[Wild Sonichu and Blake in shot]'' Sonichu babies, we'll do the same for youuu...

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Sonichu (character)|Sonee]] and [[Rosechu|Rosey]] in shot]'' When your world was kinda weird and you wished that you weren't theeere...

'''Rosey:''' Just close your eyes and make-believe, and you can be anywhere!

''[Drawing of a pair of human legs in shot]''

'''Nanny:''' Is everything alright in here?

'''Babies:''' Yes Nanny!

''[Displays all drawings, dropping some]'' Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Okay, let's beginning da show!

''[Sonee and Rosey appear]''

'''Sonee:''' We're having fun today in d-in d-in da ''room'', aren't we! Y-Aren't we Rosey!

'''Rosey:''' Hehedat's right Sonee, we're having fun in here! Dat's [[Wild]], [[Bubbles]] ''[Blake appears instead of Bubbles]'', [[Punchy]] ''[Angelica appears instead of Punchy]'', [[Magi-chan]], [[Angelica]], even [[Blake]]! ''[Shows other drawings]''

'''Blake:''' Hello. What? I'm [[Christian Weston Chandler|the weird one]]. Compare me to Gonzo. I have [[niggos|black]] hair though.

''[Fumbles with sticks for a few seconds, removes all but Sonee and Rosey]''

'''Both:''' Anyway, come with us, we'regoingtohavefun, whee!

''[Moves the two around without rhyme or reason]''

'''Both:''' Whee, oh we're having fun, wheeeewheeee! Mm.

'''Sonee:''' Ey Ro- ey Rosey we're jus' a... d-d-fun. What'd you wanna do now?

'''Rosey:''' I wanna do that thing like we saw on da [[TV]] show.

'''Sonee:''' That what ya wanna do?

'''Rosey:''' Yeaah! Alright!

''[Makes the baby siblings "kiss"]''

'''Both:''' Mmmmmmm! Mmmmm!

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and writing|Exposition!Magi-chan]] moves into shot]''

'''Magi-chan:''' What? Ever since they watched- they seen that kissing scene, on that episode of... [[wikipedia:The Young and the Restless|The Young and the Restless]]... they been makin' out, all the time! They lot-ov-enjoying it. Lil' Sonee has been noted saying, "she tastes like applesauce"!

''[Disembodied legs return]''

'''Nanny:''' Hey kids, I got' go out now. And mukku-my husband's comin' with me.

''[Comic Chris's trademark sneakers join]''

'''Chris:''' That's right. We're going out to go- we're going out shopping. We're gonna bring back some delicious groceries, and we'll be back in a lil' while. ''[Pause]'' Wait a minute. Who's gonna mind the babies?

'''Nanny:''' Oh yeah you're right. You stay home.

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah you're right, I'll stay home, you go out to get the groceries.

'''Nanny:''' Look how we settled that!

'''Chris:''' Well, we s- we're always able to settle things. Even und- even our minor disagreements. Look the way we still love each other. Mmm. ''[Pieces of paper "kiss"]'' Okay, see you later. ''[Female legs leave]''

'''Chris:''' Alright children, y'all s- y'all be carefull out here. I'm gonna keep the door op- I'm gonna keep the door open, you just uh, give me a shout if you uh, need anything. ''[Hastily grabs bunch of children in view]'' ''Okay Papa C!''

''[Bubbles and Wild, Rosey accidentally sneaks into frame]''

'''Bubbles:''' What's the matter, Wild?

'''Wild:''' Iunno. Suddenly I just don't feel well.

'''Bubbles:''' Well, and why is that?

'''Wild:''' I- I was watchin' my- I was watchin' Blues Clues the other day, and, I missed a clue!

'''Bubbles:''' You missed a clue? How'd you do that? You're- that guy was supposed to be able to detect da clues before that guy in the green shirt does!

'''Wild:''' Yeah, what was that guy's name? Uhh... heck if I know! Mm. Well, anyway... I feel, a bit, I feel bad because I missed a clue!

'''Bubbles:''' Dun worry about it, we all make mistakes.

'''Wild:''' Yeah, you're right. We all do make mistakes. I guess I'll get over this someho- s-sometime.

'''Bubbles:''' Yeah, you will. Hey, let's go play in the t- let's go play on the merry-go-round.

'''Wild:''' Okay! ''[Both move out of frame]'' Whee whee whee whee whee we'll go play onna merry-go round!

''[Pause, fumbling noises offscreen. Punchy enters.]''

'''Punchy:''' [[wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|Samurai Pizza Cats]]! Miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow! Samurai Pizza Cats! Miaowmiaowmiow miaow miaow! Samurai armor! Oh! A [[CWCville|communist]], huh? You freakin' no good-- [interrupted by off-screen female voice] Would anyone happen to have a nail file on them? ...C'mon sweetie, we're all doin' a TV show! Hey wait a sec I thought [unintelligible] on time because I watchin' live television!

''[Replaced by Blake]''

'''Blake:''' Aah, whatever. ''[Blake saunters off]'' Hmm.

''[Angelica enters]''

'''Angelica:''' All the lovely things we r- I read in the Bible. Lalalalalalalaa. Lovely things, inna Bible. Good story.

''[Magi-chan appears]''

'''Magi-chan:''' Mmm, what stories are you reading about there, Angelica?

'''Angelica:''' Oh, this one, I'm reading about [[Sega|Genesis]]. The story of Adam and Eve!

'''Magi-chan:''' Ah yes. And then the apple gets bitten.

'''Angelica:''' YOU SPOILED IT FOR ME!! [Pause] I suppose next you're gonna tell me who gets thrown out first.

'''Magi-chan:''' I won't, I'll just uh, give you respect, there.

'''Angelica:''' Thank you. [Pause] Oh no, Eve gets kicked out first? [Whine] Well, at least we women [[Women's Rights|grew to power]] eventually.

'''Magi-chan:''' Yeah.

''[Awkward pause]''

'''Angelica:''' Praaaise Jesus in all his lov- in all his... forgiveness for us, he died for our sins and everything.

'''Magi-chan:''' Yes, we are Christians. We go to church every Sunday.

'''Angelica:''' An' Nanny takes us!

'''Magi-chan:''' Yeah. And Chris comes with us too! [[Chris and religion|He's a good Christian, yes he is.]]

'''Angelica:''' So what you wanna do now?

'''Magi-chan:''' Let's go play with [[Lego]]s!

'''Angelica:''' Okay! Wheeee! We're off to play with Legos!

''[Long pause. Punchy and Bubbles come into view, before being hastily retracted. Chris mumbles to himself before replacing Bubbles with Wild Sonichu]''

'''Punchy:''' Hey Wild, you wanna spar a li'l?

'''Wild:''' Okay Punchy!

''[Punchy launches himself at Wild, falls over]''

'''Punchy:''' Huh. Got me there.

''[Wild "hits" Punchy]''

'''Punchy:''' Got me again. Well, I'm gonna get you now. PEWWWW!

''[Punchy flies into Wild, both go offscreen. Punchy returns alone]''

'''Punchy:''' Oh, shoot. I [[Mypoe|knocked him out da window!]] Yo c'mon[?], come in back in da window!

'''Wild:''' I'm really hurt! You had me lyin' in a bush!

'''Punchy:''' I'm sorry.

''[Awkward silence]''

'''Punchy:''' Aah, it's okay. Just be careful to watch yer punches. Cuz I gotta pull my punches if I wanna work[?] inside the nursery.

'''Wild:''' Yeah.

'''Punchy:''' So, I'll do that.

''[Punchy comes forward]''

'''Punchy:''' Because, [[Death threats|violence is not always the answer]] to e- is not always the answer. So- ye- uh, self defense, it ''can'' be... the answer.

''[Wild moves in front of Punchy]''

'''Wild:''' I agree. I don't like being bullied. Me, I was- b- m- I was out there riding my... bicycle the other day, an' [[Clyde Cash|bully]] comes up to me, and he, he g-steals the bicycle and he [[Kick the Autistic|beats me up]]! What's wrong with that dude?

'''Punchy:''' D'ya want me to go beat him up

'''Wild:''' Nah, I just need to learn self defense.

'''Punchy:''' I'm gonna go find and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|beat him up]]. Hiyaaa!

''[Both launch out of frame, but Wild returns]''

'''Wild:''' Ya don't even know what he looks like, where ya goin' Punchy? ...Anyway. ''[Turns around once, leaves]''

''[Punchy re-enters]''

'''Punchy:''' Th-you can't beat me Punchy[?], I'm [[Random-access humor|comical]], knock knock, who's there, orange, orange who, orange you glad I didn't say banana? ''[Pause]'' What? ''[Pause]'' Oh well. Knock knock. Who's there. Uhh, hello? What d'you mean, "hello". Well you said "who's there". Dyeah knock knock joke? I say "knock knock", you say "who's there". What? I stayed up watching [[Officer Keino|Home Movies]] one night. Place- It's a funny cartoon show with Brendon Small[?]. [[Sonichu 8|Not recommended for children]], though. It- still maybe teenagers. Or youth- or you- think it's a PG rating. TV-PG. ''[Jiggles around]'' I don't care I watched it by myself! I was up, I was wirey! I couldn't go to sleep! ''[Is still for a second, before leaving somewhat abruptly.]''

''[Sonee and Rosey return]''

'''Rosey:''' Okay so... What should we do now?

'''Sonee:''' I think let's go [[PlayingHouse|play House]]!

'''Rosey:''' Yeah let's go play House again!

'''Sonee:''' Yay! Doodoodoodooboodoodoo, hi honey I'm home.

'''Rosey:''' Oh, where've you been? Mmm, I mean, how was your day sweetheart?

'''Sonee:''' It's been good, y'know, I've just been, uh, doing business and everything. M-keepin' everything- keepin' the city safe with my swift speed and lightning attacks!

'''Rosey:''' Very good. I've been minding the children. Although when I went out, I wa- I was intercepted by one of the villains! But I- gre- myself at self defence, [[The Incredible Lioness|I struck them right back!]] And I stood my ground.

''[Pause]''

'''Sonee:''' That's very good. How're the children.

'''Rosey:''' I think I just told you that. ''[She didn't.]''

'''Sonee:''' Oh yes you did! The children are good! Hey- okay- so- that was good, let's do role reversal.

'''Rosey:''' Okay!

''[Switch places]''

'''Rosey:''' Hi honey, I'm home!

'''Sonee:''' Oh hi honey, how was w- how was- how was your work at [[Jackie|journalism]]?

'''Rosey:''' Oh, very good, I wrote- guh story here, and there. [Pause] The bank was robbed.

'''Sonee:''' There was a v- there was a bank robbery?

'''Rosey:''' Yeah, didn't you hear that? There was a horse and mane[????]!

'''Sonee:''' Horse and mane?

'''Rosey:''' Sure, the horse was on the main!''

''[Pause]''

'''Rosey:''' What? Iunno. Go figure. Comedy. Anyway, [unintelligible], and I made, bulublugh, and I made, promotion!

'''Sonee:''' Very good. The children have been doi- have been doin' good today. I mean theyuh, the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-]] I mean uh, the younger one [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|pooped all over the place]]. Ugh, that was a whole bunch to clean up. And, uh... and the older one missed the toilet! I didn't know what to do with that, 'cept to clean it up, and tell her that it was wrong to do it in that direction, not to [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|aim it this way]], that. So I've been cleanin' and cookin' and keeping house all day long.

'''Rosey:''' And I've been out journalism all day.

'''Sonee:''' Yeah.

''[Pause]''

'''Sonee:''' Anyway uh, today was grocery shopping day so I went out for groceries. S- an' children ha- and children... went with me. I took them along with me. And, they were okay in the car for a little while but then there was a scr- then on the way home there was a screaming. Yeah, the younger one was tired. Just waawaawaawaawaa. Waaa. ''[Pause]'' So the older one kept- kept the, uh- kept the younger one quiet, you know. At least she knew better. So, she calmed him down.

'''Rosey:''' That's good.

'''Sonee:''' I had to change a few [[Butt garments|diapers]] to- I had to change a whole number of diapers for that little one. What a mess. But I'm willing to go through with it, because I am the father! The house husband.

'''Rosey:''' And I'm the one that goes out, make the money.

'''Sonee:''' Okay. So. Wanna end the show.

'''Rosey:''' Why not?

'''Sonee:''' The puppet show. Alright. Yeah.

'''Narrator:''' Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Dudududududuh!

''[Feet come back into view]''

Dududududududuh! Duh duh!

'''Nanny:''' Thank you very much, goodnight!

'''Chris:''' Goodnight.

==See also==

*[[A Sonichu Day]]
*[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[PlayingHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

File:Kroger sighting.jpg

2010-11-11T23:58:30Z

SeventhBase: Clarification

A recent report by a FA:

<blockquote>Decided to go pick up milk and naturally went to the kroger at rio hill near my house. Imagine my shock when I see our man child there! Sitting in the corner, with [[Bob]], eating hungry man meals (they were using the microwave of the deli). [[Chris]] in a [[Chris and fashion|maroon striped golf usa shirt]], tan khakis and a [[UVA]] cavs coat. I quickly ordered a drink from the nearby chinese place in store, and observed. During the outing, [[Snorlax]] called Bob's cell, which Chris answered. Sadly, I had to go to get the milk home, so I did not over here the conversation, however, I can tell you this, Bob looks like shit. Gaunt, leathery and freckled. I almost did not recognize him at first! Sighting took place roughly 20 minutes ago.</blockquote>

<blockquote>
Yes he was, they had two [cups of water]

perhaps, those cups are from the nearby starbucks (also saw half a brownie sitting out)
</blockquote>

<blockquote>
Bob got up to snag a newspaper (tables near book section/magazine/newspaper) while chris ate/dicked around on his [[PSP|psp]] (thing in red case)
</blockquote>

<blockquote>
They are headphones, the wrap around ear type.

Interesting note, when he answered the cell phone (little red samsung, the model above mine) he spoke in a rather normalish voice, not high pitched, just a slight slight draw.
</blockquote>

<blockquote>
there were two hungry man meals, one for Bob, one for Chris. Two star bucks drinks. I am not even sure that kroger carries hungry man meals.
</blockquote>

Ultra Sonichu

2010-11-11T17:36:09Z

SeventhBase:

[[Image:219-UltraSchuPose.jpg|thumb|Ultra Sonichu, aka Down's Syndrome Sonichu]]

{{quote|After absorbing the power of the 7 [[Sonic the Hedgehog (series)#Chaos Emeralds|Chaos Emeralds]], [[Sonichu]] transforms into his Super-Form where he is invincible beyond compare. He can fly sky-high and has the most powerful Lightining Attacks.|[[:Image:215-ACUltSchuBck.jpg|Ultra Sonichu ''Animal Crossing'' card]]}}

'''Ultra Sonichu''' is the final form of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] that Chris has hyped before the comic even began. [[Sonichu]] evolves into this stage after being united with the seven [[Sonichu Balls]]; he then becomes invincible beyond compare and gains the ability to fly sky high. After years of promises, he finally appears in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

Another of Chris's blatant rip-offs, it is a copy of [[Sonic the Hedgehog|"Super Sonic"]]. Super Sonic is the result of Sonic collecting all seven [[Chaos Emeralds]], which itself is a rip-off of the Super Saiyan transformation from ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]''. Even though Super Sonic is a rip-off, it actually attempts to hide it, and has decent artwork as well. It should also be noted that Ultra Sonichu is basically a recolor of Chris's very first failure [[Bionic]], minus the recolor.

==Powers==
''Sonichu'' #10 has shown that Ultra Sonichu has a plethora of super powers. Besides being able to fly, like Super Sonic, he also has Messianic powers, as well. He is shown using his presence to revive [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her eternal slumber (and apparently to accidentally free [[Clawdorf]] in the process), and he uses a power called "Chaotic Remedy" which cured Asperchu and his versions of Sonichu and friends from all their maladies, such as personality.

So far there doesn't seem to be any specific time limit on Sonichu's ability to remain in his Ultra form, unlike Sonic's Super form the concept was stolen from, where his only weakness is the fact that his form eventually runs out. After doing everything he needed to do (which included curing every single [[Jerkop]] he and his friends haven't managed to murder yet of their brainwashing) Sonichu just kind of... stops being Ultra.

==Evolution confusion==
Ultra Sonichu evolves from Sonichu. [[Metonic]] also evolves from Sonichu. It has already been shown in the comic that Sonichu will eventually evolve into Metonic, so technically Sonichu will never be able to evolve into Ultra Sonichu... but [[Sonichu 10|he found a way.]]

==Star sign confusion==
After evolution, Ultra Sonichu's star sign changes from [[Wikipedia:Pisces|Pisces]] to [[Wikipedia:Aries|Aries]]. How this is possible is still a mystery. A theory is that [[Blake]] is the one to actually assume this form, since he is an Aries, much like Ultra Sonichu, and is supposed to have all the abilities Sonichu possesses. That would be an interesting plot twist to give Blake the role as the actual hero; however, considering Chris's writing ability, this is probably just a coincidence.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:214-ACUltSchu.jpg
Image:215-ACUltSchuBck.jpg
Image:216-UltSchu.jpg
Image:217-UltSchuEX.jpg
Image:218-YuUltSchu.jpg
Image:SchuComic10P44.jpg
</gallery>
</center>
 
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu]]
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Template:Da update

2010-11-11T17:10:47Z

SeventhBase:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 11 November - Chris is [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|spotted]] at a local supermarket.
* 6 November - Chris attempts to do [[100 2278|pull-ups]]. New information about Jackie in the form of [[Jackie Chat 1|chats]] and [[Jackie E-mails 3|e-mails]] are revealed. Lars also had a [[Lars Call|call]] with Chris.
* 30 October - Chris decides to [[Don'tPintheOop|talk about dirty, crapped briefs]], [[ShowerClean|cleans his shower]], [[SpaghettiRoutine|pretends to cook]], [[WelcometoBollywood|pretends he's doing Bollywood]], [[Book10Replacement|finally redoes Sonichu 10]], [[DrainedCreativity|but then blames trolls for no more Sonichu]], [[DivineTrial|pretends he's in a trial]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gives a shout out to the Juggalos]], [[HairDifference|compares his hair]], [[Ghostbusters_(video)|pretends he's in the Ghostbusters]], and [[ToJackie|begs Jackie not to leave him]].
* 25 October - Chris [[SonichuBabies|plays with sonees & roseys]], [[PlayingHouse|plays with legos]], [[Wigwam|smokes tobacky]], and uploads a [[DayOut|series of videos of him driving around]]. Later, Chris [[WeighIn|weighs himself]] and [[FullHouse|sings the ''Full House'' theme]].
* 19 October - Chris uploads a remake of him [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|giving birth]], followed by [[a Workout|a workout]].
('''[[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, including new videos, family news and updates to ongoing [[saga]]s. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Template:Da update

2010-11-11T16:54:26Z

SeventhBase:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 10 November - Chris is [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|spotted]] at a local supermarket.
* 6 November - Chris attempts to do [[100 2278|pull-ups]]. New information about Jackie in the form of [[Jackie Chat 1|chats]] and [[Jackie E-mails 3|e-mails]] are revealed. Lars also had a [[Lars Call|call]] with Chris.
* 30 October - Chris decides to [[Don'tPintheOop|talk about dirty, crapped briefs]], [[ShowerClean|cleans his shower]], [[SpaghettiRoutine|pretends to cook]], [[WelcometoBollywood|pretends he's doing Bollywood]], [[Book10Replacement|finally redoes Sonichu 10]], [[DrainedCreativity|but then blames trolls for no more Sonichu]], [[DivineTrial|pretends he's in a trial]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gives a shout out to the Juggalos]], [[HairDifference|compares his hair]], [[Ghostbusters_(video)|pretends he's in the Ghostbusters]], and [[ToJackie|begs Jackie not to leave him]].
* 25 October - Chris [[SonichuBabies|plays with sonees & roseys]], [[PlayingHouse|plays with legos]], [[Wigwam|smokes tobacky]], and uploads a [[DayOut|series of videos of him driving around]]. Later, Chris [[WeighIn|weighs himself]] and [[FullHouse|sings the ''Full House'' theme]].
* 19 October - Chris uploads a remake of him [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|giving birth]], followed by [[a Workout|a workout]].
('''[[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, including new videos, family news and updates to ongoing [[saga]]s. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

File:Kroger sighting.jpg

2010-11-11T16:46:28Z

SeventhBase: A recent report by a FA: Decided to go pick up milk and naturally went to the kroger at rio hill near my house. Imagine my shock when I see our man child there! Sitting in the corner, with Bob, eating hungry man meals (they were using the microwave o

A recent report by a FA:

Decided to go pick up milk and naturally went to the kroger at rio hill near my house. Imagine my shock when I see our man child there! Sitting in the corner, with [[Bob]], eating hungry man meals (they were using the microwave of the deli). [[Chris]] in a [[Chris and fashion|maroon striped golf usa shirt]], tan khakis and a [[UVA]] cavs coat. I quickly ordered a drink from the nearby chinese place in store, and observed. During the outing, [[Snorlax]] called Bob's cell, which Chris answered. Sadly, I had to go to get the milk home, so I did not over here the conversation, however, I can tell you this, Bob looks like shit. Gaunt, leathery and freckled. I almost did not recognize him at first! Sighting took place roughly 20 minutes ago.

Yes he was, they had two [cups of water]
perhaps, those cups are from the nearby starbucks (also saw half a brownie sitting out)

Bob got up to snag a newspaper (tables near book section/magazine/newspaper) while chris ate/dicked around on his [[psp]] (thing in red case)

They are headphones, the wrap around ear type.
Interesting note, when he answered the cell phone (little red samsung, the model above mine) he spoke in a rather normalish voice, not high pitched, just a slight slight draw.

there were two hungry man meals, one for Bob, one for Chris. Two star bucks drinks. I am not even sure that kroger carries hungry man meals.</blockquote>

Sonic the Hedgehog

2010-11-11T15:54:29Z

SeventhBase: /* History */

[[Image:Sonichuripoff.jpg|thumb|150px|Some poorly drawn rip-off of [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Sonic the Hedgehog''' is a shitty recolor of beloved hero and [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Sega's blatant plagiarism has given renowned Sonichu creator [[Christian Weston Chandler]] [[Stress|many sleepless nights]].

Chris claims that Sonic has been his life hero since June [[1990]] [''sic'']<ref>Sonic the Hedgehog wasn't released in North America or even Japan until June [[1991]] - see [[Wikipedia:Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(video_game)|here]]. Ironically, this is also a question on Chris's [[Quizzes#Sonic_the_Hedgehog_History|Sonic the Hedgehog MyBuzz quiz]] which Chris assigns the right answer of June 1991. Of course, there can be ''[[Wikipedia:Rad Mobile|Rad Mobile]]'' by Sega released in 1990, but that would have not made much sense either seeing as Sonic only made a cameo appearance as an air freshener and nothing more, despite the particular appearance in that game predating Sonic's own first game. That, and ''Rad Mobile'' was a very less known game from Sega, so the chance of Chrissy playing the game during 1990 ([[Soul Calibur|and failing miserably at it]]) would be highly unlikely.</ref>, replacing [[The American Rabbit]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref>

==History==
Chris likely first learned about Sonic from watching the cartoon show ''[[Wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog]]'', involving the basic plot of Sonic and Tails running around to defeat [[Robotnik]], who was portrayed as a [[Obesity|plump]], [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]] man who would endeavor to conquer Mobius and destroy Sonic, failing spectacularly each time. At the end of every show, a small segment titled "Sonic Says" ([[Random-access humor|humorously]] misspelled "Sonic Sez" by Tails) would begin. Each segment would involve Sonic teaching a small moral lesson for kids to learn, such as [[Jerkops|when to call 9-1-1]], [[Rape|what to do if someone attempts to molest or kidnap you]], and telling kids [[Sonichu Special 4|not to play]] with [[Megatron Pistol|guns]].

The show was promoted via a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|contest]], with the grand prize being a [[Chris and money|$1,000 video game shopping spree]]. Chris was one of the two winners of the shopping spree and was featured in a news story about the contest, one of the biggest moments (if not ''the'' biggest moment) in his early life, spreading its influence far and wide, from his decisions to enter contests (cf. [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]], [[Pixelated PS3]]) to the eventual creation of [[Sonichu]].

Apparently, at one point, Sonic was more widely recognized than Mickey Mouse. He was also intentionally designed to be easy to draw, had an incoherently random daily cartoon and a dead-serious pseudo-cyberpunk Saturday cartoon to cover both ends of the kids' cartoon spectrum, an army of merchandising, and, oh yeah, most of the games actually didn't suck back in the day. That and its enormous popularity (he likes all popular music, after all, why not all popular cartoons?) almost certainly drew in Chris.

The reason Chris ''remains'' so unerringly loyal to Sonic is unknown. As the years went by, the games became steadily worse until they fell into a randomly spawning black hole of supercrap and seem doomed to dwell within its depths forever. The cartoons both ended, were replaced by something almost as godawful as Sonichu, and the latest cartoon is dumb enough to suck, yet not egregious enough at sucking to be ironically entertaining. Many more pop culture trends have come and gone, some good, some heinously bad, but Chris has stuck by Sonic (and Pokémon) like an abused wife. Judging by the large amount of pages about Sonic-loving lolcows (autistic or not) on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]], there's obviously something about Sonic that [[Trolls|we]] don't see. Given how rabid a fanboy Chris has become, perhaps brand loyalty has transitioned into a sort of fannish Stockholm syndrome.

Chris's loyalty was so strong that he was visibly upset when told by bullies that Sonic was dead.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 9]]</ref> This was an early example of trolls being able to find one of Chris's tardrage buttons.

==Role in the comics==
Sonic first appears in [[sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] as Super Sonic battling the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] in [[Station Square]]. Whilst battling him, a [[Pikachu]] comes to fight Perfect Chaos and is tackled by Sonic. The power of the Chaos Emeralds mutates said Pikachu into [[Sonichu]], who then defeats Perfect Chaos.

[[Sonichu 1|In the following issue]], he crashes into Sonichu again. After recognizing each other, they team up in order to rescue [[Rosechu]] from the clutches of [[Black Sonichu]].

Other than being the catalyst for the creation of Sonichu and teaming up with him in the second issue, Sonic serves no other purpose. He disappears after issue 1, never mentioned again until [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] where [[Robbie]] sickeningly refers to him as "Uncle Sonic."

==Tails's (lack of a) role in the comics==
'''Miles "Tails" Prower''' is Sonic's sidekick, and has been in the franchise since ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic The Hedgehog 2|Sonic The Hedgehog 2]]'' was released in [[1992]] for the [[Wikipedia:Sega Master System|Sega Master System]]. He has been featured in almost every form of Sonic-related media such as cartoons, anime and comic books. As such, many have been perplexed on why neither he nor an idiot ripoff (likely named "Prowerlo Sonichu") has made an appearance in ''Sonichu''.

Christian has refused to include Tails in his comics, despite ripping off Knuckles and Shadow and featuring an [[Transformers|Autobot]] named "[[Prower]]." It is likely Tails was omitted because of the rumors (made by [[BlueSpike|13-year-olds]] on [[GameFAQs|Gamefags]] and Failgrounds) that Sonic and Tails were a [[homos|gay]] couple. Christian said that ''"I just did not feel need for a Tails-like Character in the stories. I disagree with all the rumors against Tails; if you read the [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|"Sonic the Hedgehog" Comic Book Series]] from Archie Comics, Tails gets a Girlfriend."''<ref>[[Mailbag_21#Why no Tails?]]</ref> He later claims that he ''"did not feel it appropriate for Tails to be in my comic."''<ref>[[Mailbag_38#Chris is an expert matchmaker]]</ref>

Despite this, Chris ''did'' create a Tails-like [[Pokémon]] named Evails, though he only appeared on the [[Wall of Originals]].

==Comics==
[[File:Sth189.jpg|thumb|right|More than likely a bigger inspiration than the games series itself, this comic could potentially rival Sonichu in stupidity if it were not for the semi-competent artists Sega hires.]]

Like with the cartoons, Sonic had comic adaptations up the ass, but in an even more bloated sense, as each comic series was specific to the region of the world they were released in. Japan got a series of crazy manga involving Sonic being some sort of alter-ego of a picked on misunderstood nerd ([[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Bizarre coincidence?]]), Europe got a clichéd comic series published by Fleetway (the same company that once published ''2000 A.D.'') that appealed to the gaming demographic of the [[1990s]], that was more or less the glorified [[SEGA]] advertisement for the continent, and the U.S. got a comic book series based on the Saturday morning cartoon ''Sonic SATam''. Despite the video game franchise more or less crashing and burning, the comic series is still alive and running to this day, although it's unclear if that's due to popularity or just a small, dedicated fan basis of creepy furries and SEGA's endorsement to squeeze every penny they can from this dying franchise.

Chris has hinted at and mentioned that he is familiar with this comic series, and the layout of his comics tends to replicate the style of early Archie Sonic covers. Reldnahc's calling Chris "Prime-Chan" in the comic may be a reference to the character [[Wikipedia:List_of_Sonic_the_Hedgehog_comic_book_characters#Evil_Sonic.2FScourge_the_Hedgehog|Scourge the Hedgehog]], an evil version of Sonic from another dimension; Sonic is referred to as "Sonic Prime" when dealing with inter-dimensional storylines. Chris has also been known to trace images from an early special of the comic "Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles" for the basis of some of his fight scenes. Whether he still reads the comics now or not is unknown, but it is probable that he does. He has stated that he would like ''Sonichu'' to be published by Archie Comics.<ref>[[IRC (22 December 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat 6]]</ref> If Chris still reads it, it will probably be a source of plagiarism and mass-debating for years to come.

Starting in [[April 2010]], [[Sony]] began releasing the Archie Sonic comics for download via the [[Playstation Network]].<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/22/playstation-comics-store-update-17/ PlayStation Comics Store Update]</ref> The likelihood that Chris has purchased them? [[Chris and money|Close to 100%]].

==Sega's response==

[[Image:Sega's Reponse.png|thumb|Sega's reaction to the discovery of Sonichu]]

After being scarred by the shitty drawn comic by Christian Weston Chandler one fan finally decided to let Sega in on Sonichu. It's currently unknown on what Sega will do about Chris.

==Plagiarism==

Sonic the Hedgehog is a point of inspiration for many asspies, and like many of his kind, Chris unashamedly steals from all of its various canons. [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] is obviously a recolored Sonic the Hedgehog, but even more obvious is [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]], who somehow manages to be less original than Chris's flagship character.

{{incomplete}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|Chris drew this in between ages 8 and 27.
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|He's a street smart cop with twenty years on the force! He's a rookie straight out of academy! Together, they fight crime!
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|Because we all like to see our favorite heroes crossover one day! [[Sonichu 1|Oh wait!]]
Image:0065-Sonic.jpg|Sonic looking an awful lot like Christian.
Image:326-SonicJamCard.jpg|...I thought the answer was "Aim for the [[Sonichu 4|sourdough region]]"?
Image:327-SonicJamCardBck.jpg
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|0-0 [http://www.geekologie.com/2009/12/um_yeah_maybe_get_somebody_els.php Geekologie Reader] does not approve of Chris's artwork.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Sonic the Blowfish.
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Chris makes his own [[Jimmy Hill|unlicensed Sonic merchandise]].
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG|Hello, lawsuit.
Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|Chris was so excited, he produced [[dirty, crapped briefs]].
Image:0077-SonicDoll.jpg|Chris still has this doll and it has seen [[For Julie's Eyes Only|horrible things]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Shadow the Hedgehog]]
*[[Amy Rose]]

==Sauces/notes==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic the Hedgehog]] on [[Wikipedia]]
*[http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/4762-adventures-of-sonic-the-hedgehog Nostalgia Critic's review of both cartoons]
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Stubs|Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

File:WetFunCircleTime.jpg

2010-11-08T02:52:59Z

SeventhBase:

[[Category:Rule 34]]

File:UngaWungaTime.jpg

2010-11-08T02:52:07Z

SeventhBase:

[[Chris and race|UNGA WUNGA]]

[[Category:Rule 34]]

Jackie E-mails 20

2010-11-07T15:48:21Z

SeventhBase:

{{Email|October 28, 2010 - 3:09pm

You're missing the point. My point is that you told me you would do the videos, no problem. You lied to me. THAT is my problem. Isn't your lying the main thing that has ended all your previous relationships? Yet you still do it constantly. You still think you can just effortlessly lie your way out of any situation you find uncomfortable, regardless of the sheer number of times your own lies have gotten you in trouble or ruined a relationship you were trying to create.

You say that you still have hang-ups against Alec that are "beyond your knowledge". That is a cop-out answer. The point of talking to Alec is so you can figure out why you're still mad at him. We talked about that already. And if you're allowed to hold grudges against Alec and Michael Snyder and Mary Lee Walsh for absolutely no fucking reason beyond you're too lazy to change, why should I be expected to take the risk of changing MY feelings and putting aside my misgivings about your devotion? These October videos are supposed to be your way of proving to me that you really care about me and can actually DO something to show it instead of just repeating the same words over and over. I gave you this contest as a compromise so you could prove your love to me without having to give up your PS3, remember that? I went out of MY way to give YOU that compromise, and yet you STILL complain about every little bit of effort I ask you to do. And then you go and say you have to "put up with a lot from me".

By the way, I wrote to Alec and he responded to me only a couple minutes ago, and he said he hasn't received any email from you in months. So did you lie to me about that, too?

Do you see yet? My chief problem with you is that you lie. You lie. You LIE. ALL THE TIME.

Well, then... I don't want your greasy hair video. I still want a cooking video because as a house husband you are suppose to cook your beloved ME meals. I want you to get some playdough or model magic or something (must be three different colors, use what you've got or go get some at the dollar store) you can MAKE BELIEVE and perform a pretend cooking segment. I want you to line up all his stuffed animals as an audience, pan to the "audience" on occasion, and shape that playdough into dinner. SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALL DINNER. Describe what you're doing, and talk about how you'd want me to feed you it… than giggle and ask for a Bib because it's messy :D Then, at the end, I want to see you "eat" the meal JUST LIKE COOKIE MONSTER. Smush it all over, because you love it and me so much!

So give the contest your all, Chris. You've only got a few days left.

Jackie}}

{{Email|October 29, 2010 - 8:28pm

Hey Chris. How's it going? I haven't heard from you at all today. I hope you aren't still kicking yourself because you lied to me, I don't want you to feel like you have to shut yourself off from me because of that. I mean, yeah, it hurt me when I found out, and I'm sure you felt bad about telling all these lies. But we need to get past it and just let it be over and done with.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing the videos! What did Alec say when you told him you were doing the parade pages? All he gave me was confirmation that you wrote him, he didn't give any other details on your conversation. Are you going to the library tomorrow then to upload them all? I can't wait!!

XO XO XO XO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 30, 2010 - 12:02am

Firstly, I have not lied to you; when I said it was cool on the videos, reference the [[SpaghettiRoutine|Spaghetti]], I was under the fact of an idea of access to the stove and ingredients at the time. I tried to get ingredients, and I tried to clear the junk away from the stove, all without getting my parents too informed of the video-recording resons behind it all. Not only was I unable to relocate the junk, but my family brought home a meal-sized spaghetti and meatballs frozen dinner instead of individual ingredients. I Mis Spoke; I did not lie. I Mis Spoke.

Same thing on the 9 replacement pages; I said Okay, because I knew truthfully I can do that on the ideas I had so far. But then I read the suggestion on the freakin' parade for Alec, I felt infuriated and frustrated. Speaking of which, I will forward you Alec's two e-mails and my reply. I have realized that aside from the past forgiven reasons on his drawn works, I still feel against him, because he's [[Homos|gay]], has [[Aspergers]], and is a [[JERKS|male]]. Further explained in my reply to him I just wrote to him.

Anyway, you will have all of the videos on my YouTube this afternoon.

I'll TTYL. Stay safe and Sweet, and I am sorry for getting angry with you in that e-mail from Wednesday.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Lots of Love,
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 30, 2010 - 3:39pm

Chris, I have a lot to say, so make sure you read every word of this.

Um, yes you did lie. You lied to me. Why are you bringing up the spaghetti video? You know the lie I was talking about was whether you were going to do the parade comic pages. You told me you would, then you told Samantha you wouldn't. There's a lie in there somewhere. And I see in the email you sent him that you asked him to bail you out and get me to back off of the comic page idea. So obviously you meant it when you told Samantha you wouldn't do it.

And then you DIDN'T do it. I told you to do a parade comic, and you said this:
"I'll do all of that for you, but with such tall orders, It'll be
Saturday when I'll drive to the library again and upload them all."
That's a quote from you. You said you'd do the videos as I ask. But that was a lie. You never meant to do the parade comic. You just decided to redo the comic exactly the same as before, with Alec and his friends being found guilty for doing nothing wrong.

And about that: you're telling me that it's okay to keep hating Alec because... you're a close-minded bigot. Is that supposed to make me feel good? You've had months to get over all this. Talk to him like a man already. He doesn't deserve this hatred from you. And you actually tried to get HIM to lie to me for you and tell me to give up on the comic pages? After all the vile things you said to him, you actually asked him for a favor. Do you even understand that relationships are a two-way street? That you can't treat someone like pure shit for no reason and then ask them to do nice things for you? Do you get that at all? Or do you think that because he's MALE that makes him bad and that he automatically owes you something? You say trolls are awful people, but you feel perfectly fine about continuing to torment this guy for no reason. And apparently the love of a girl like me isn't worth overcoming your childish anger for.

Why did you even bother asking him to tell me to back off of the parade thing when you weren't going to bother doing it anyway? You obviously didn't care whether I wanted it or not, you just weren't going to do it.

And you also lazily cut corners on virtually every other video, despite saying "I'll do all of that for you":
-You only scrubbed one tiny section of tile in your shower, even though I told you to do it from top to bottom. And don't tell me that you wouldn't have time to film it all if you did, because you didn't film yourself cleaning it at all, so the time it took to clean wouldn't matter. You just said you could do the whole thing "if you had to". If you won't do it when your girlfriend repeatedly asks you to, what WILL make you do it?
-You "mimed" doing the spaghetti, even though I told you to use clay or playdough or something like that instead. You have plenty of that stuff, I know you do. Or you could have bought some at the dollar store.
-You didn't wear a sari or put the dot on your head or anything for your Bollywood video, it was just you in a bra. You could have just used a bedsheet or something.
-The comic was not only completely NOT what you said you would do, and was NOT at ALL what I wanted, but most of it wasn't even colored in. You had five days since I asked you to do it to draw and color nine pages.

I have to bring up once AGAIN that this whole contest was a compromise. MY compromise. For YOU. You won't get rid of your stupid video game for me, so rather than let that break us up, I decided to come up with this contest instead. That way you could keep your precious video game, and I could still see some proof that you love me. But what do I get? You fail to upload videos on time. You wouldn't even make a drive to the library to upload them for WEEKS until after the 100th time I asked you to give a shit about giving me my videos. You cut corners in your videos. You refuse to do any video that causes the least bit of "stress", despite the woman you claim to love asking you to do it for you. You won't make the parade comic for me. It's not even about fucking Alec, it's about ME. I AM THE ONE THAT WANTED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE, NOT HIM, AND YOU STILL DECIDED I WASN'T WORTH DOING IT FOR.

You know Chris, I wouldn't be so frustrated if you would just ADMIT when you have done something wrong to me. But no, you have to rationalize your way out of it every chance you think you've got, even when it's so obvious what you did. You sit there and tell me that you love me more than your video games but you won't give them up. What else matters more than I do, Chris? Does your petty grudge against people like Alec Benson Leary matter more than me? Looks like it does, since you won't do the comic I asked for. Stop SAYING words that don't mean anything and DO what I ask you to instead, then maybe I'll believe you.

I'm going to be honest with you, Chris. Lars contacted me recently. He wants me back. At first I was going to say no, I definitely wouldn't want him back because I had something better. But after seeing how you try to cut corners with the girl you "love" and do the least possible effort to win her over, I'm starting to have my doubts. You know what Lars said he did? He burned all his boats. Every last one of them. Says he doesn't need them anymore, that I am more important than they are. And he burned them before even contacting me, before even knowing what my answer would be, because he knew that even if I didn't take him back his life will still be better for overcoming his addiction. Would YOU be willing to get rid of your PS3 for me? Oh wait, we've answered that question. No, you wouldn't.

You failed this contest, Chris. I gave you every leeway possible and you still failed it because you didn't feel motivated enough to put down your video games long enough to do a good job and do what I ask of you. But I'm going to give you one more chance. I'm going to call you soon, and I'm going to have Lars on the phone with me. I want you to debate with Lars over why you think you're a better partner for me than he is. I'm telling him the same terms apply to him. I'll be listening to the call as it happens. All you have to do is prove that you can be a better partner than Lars will be. He won't be rude or insulting, he'll be polite and on his best behavior - I'm making him, he knows if he gets immature then I'll get rid of him - so you'd better be on your best behavior, too. I want to hear two adults talking, not two children.

I'll write back soon to discuss when we can make this call happen, it will be within the next few days. If you really love me, you'll do it, I don't care which of your favorite TV shows the call might interrupt.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 31, 2010 - 8:27am

Well, I have read and understood what you wrote. Firstly, let me just say I was in shock about what I read. Second, I am sorry for cutting corners. I am sorry for not making a parade for Alec; I did not feel at ease with myself on drawing a parade. I am sorry for telling Alec to call off the parade thing when I as not going to do it anyway. I am sorry about not wearing a sari or a bead on my head; I had forgotten those two details, but I had written down that you wanted the Bollywood video, and I did it in my bra. I had real spaghetti; I offered some to the camera; I mde like a pig (a small pig, perhaps) and troghed it and got the sauce on my face. I really, truly Love and Care about you, Jackie. I am notthe world's "perfect" man, but I did what I was able to do and draw; it was not all that easy, mentally, to me. I'm going to church in a bit, but I will converse with you and Lars over the phone later, and I will be most mature about it. Just let me know the area code to watch for on my caller ID, and the approx. time.

TTYL,
I Love You,
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 31, 2010 - 1:23pm

I'll let you know a little bit later when I'll be able to make the call happen. In the meantime, thank you for realizing how hurt I was by your lies and cutting corners. You know what I'd really love? I'd love you to remake the parade pages the proper way for me, as a sign of your apology :)

Talk to you soon,

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|November 1, 2010 - 3:40pm

I'm still wating to hear back on the call details or when you'll be in CVille for our meet and dates.

Straght up, I have drawn my replacement pages; I am not going to draw a parade for Alec. But I wll apologize to him for the way I have felt about him, and I will reprogram my mind to dislike him less.

Something else on my mind; it has come to my attenton that I end up pausing to keep my train of thought going from time to time. And confidentally, I have realized with that, I am mentally slow,or to put it in the other, more insulting to me term, retarded. Big whoop-de-do reason why I take time thinking about details and things. I have in the past hurt myself metaphorically, and hurt other's feelings, because my instinct responses were not all the best chosen. But I am a smart person, and I am well-educated. Ths s also why looked up to Sonic the Hedgehog as my lifelong hero, because he's not only quck in the feet, but also in the head. I may have missed a detal or two when I made the videos, but I still made them; it took me time to think on how I was to make them. But I still made them For You, because I care a Lot about you, Jacklyn.

Also, ths may be a bad idea to bring this up, but after thinking about it, I feel it is in your best interest out of my care for you to bring it up. Lars has hurt you before, Jacklyn. He OTC Abortion Drugged your coffee and killed the first growing life inside you. fear that f you went back to him, he may do it again, or even worse. Plus he may be lying about burning his boats; he may have said that, but he may only be saying it in an attempt to one-up himself over me. You told me so yourself before; Lars is NO Good. And as your caring boyfriend, I have to agree and remind you in warning.

I will still have the phone conversation if you stll feel it is for the best.

I worry and care about you a lot, Jackie. I Love You.

Stay Safe and Sweet. TTYL,
Christian.}}

{{Email|November 1, 2010 - 4:05pm

So you "love" me, but you won't do the comic pages the way I want. Or do anything else for me that is even a little bit uncomfortable. You won't put aside your feelings and do something I want. I guess that shows what option you'll take any time in the future when faced with a choice between my happiness and your own.

You say you "may have missed a detal or two when I made the videos, but I still made them". So does that mean you are retracting your admission that you cut corners to be lazy? Doesn't matter much whether you do or not, I know that's what you did. I told you repeatedly that getting the details right was every bit as important as making the videos themselves. You make up things like "I am not expected to make videos exactly to the letter", even though I'M the one doing the expecting, and I told you that being exact was a requirement. You just keep making up these little excuses and deciding that's how reality is, even though your made-up reality doesn't come close to being true.

I have proof of Lars burning the boats, he showed me a video of doing it himself. Unlike you, he hasn't dropped all his money and priorities and gone and replaced them in a matter of days like you did with your PS3, so that's another strike against you there. Also, considering the sheer number of lies you've told me in the past week, I don't think you're in a position to be calling him a liar.

Anyway, I don't mean to say this to throw it in your face. I just think it's stuff you should use to help prepare yourself for the call. I've arranged it with Lars for this Wednesday night at 10:30 sharp. Be ready.

Jackie}}

{{Email|November 2, 2010 - 9:39pm

Hey Chris, I haven't heard from you today. Just making sure you'll be available for the call tomorrow night?

Jackie}}

{{Email|November 3, 2010 - 5:00pm

Chris, have you even been checking your email? I need to know whether you're going to answer if I call you tonight or not.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|November 4, 2010 - 10:40am

I'm sorry for not checking my e-mail lately, and I was up last night at 10:30 with my cell phone on full ring volumn, waiting for your call. And you dd not call. I thought it was obvious that unless I tell you otherwise, go ahead and call. But you dd not call. Aside from that and the disappointment of not getting your expected call, I felt like shit already from you continuing to call me a liar; I have told you mostly the truth, and the rest of time were MisSpeaks. And How did you think I was going to feel after reading your response after the e-mail I sent you a few days ago caringly reminding you of Lar's horrendous deed and what he may do unto you in the future if you went back to him regardless of his sunken battleships? I felt I was "up a creek without a paddle" in this relationship, and I felt really down on myself between hat and my realization of the fact I am retarded often.

I just don't know anymore. I have done a Lot for you, and all I seem to mostly get is gripe and little appreciation from you for my efforts.

I care a LOT about you, Jacklyn Romy, but this relationship appears to be on its rockiest of rip tides to me. Mainly it is up to you on the decision of staying with a considerably slow-minded, honest man who would show you a ton of care and affection, or going back to the ex who killed his own seed in your womb and may do worse than that (granted there are other details about that relationship I may or may not be aware of).

I am feeling really down and crestfallen on myself right now. You think about it all, and do not respond or send me another e-mail or call if this is really the end of our relationship between you and me, and you go running back to Lars or you're going to say, "Maybe we should see other people."

:(

Stay Safe,
Christian.)}}

{{Email|November 5, 2010 - 4:39pm

Hey Chris! Sorry I couldn't come back to the phone last night after I turned you over to Lars. But I am so impressed that you two hit it off so well!! I thought for sure it might be awkward for you two to talk, but the both of you showed some surprising maturity. I'm so impressed with my two boys!! And what's more, Lars was telling me last night that you told him you were going to do the parade comic for me the right way!!! Wow Chris, that will be such a sweet gesture. I look forward to seeing it in all its glory! Make sure it's colored and detailed as well as you used to do with your comic.

Jackie}}

{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

File:CirclingOnJackie.jpg

2010-11-07T09:04:03Z

SeventhBase:

[[Category: Rule 34]]

CWCki:General

2010-11-07T03:57:09Z

SeventhBase: /* J.J. articles */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

*[[CWCki:General/Archive 1|Archive 1]]

For discussion that doesn't fit into the other community pages - though do keep it related to the CWCki.

== Da update is used for Chris updates...but what about other updates? ==
For example, I don't think the Lucas video game pictures should be on the update, but it should be noteworthy. Should it placed in da update or no? Also if you're wondering what pictures, I'M WORKING ON IT. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:33, 9 September 2010 (PDT)
:Where should I stick the pictures? I uploaded them with Lucas commentary on them. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 12:42, 10 September 2010 (PDT)
::I think either the list of Chris's games article or the video games article. Leaning towards the video games article, if only because the list article is already pretty damned huge. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:07, 10 September 2010 (PDT)

== Image purge project ==
According to the Spongepedia (also hosted by dreamhost), 500 internal server error may be caused by TOO MANY IMAGES. In any case, I'm sick of seeing shitty images that do nothing to enhance articles as well. please tag images that are useless on their talk pages for deletion. kthx [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:45, 10 September 2010 (PDT)
*Based on what you told me about the Spongebob wiki, their problem was also due to image size. Perhaps if we work on resizing images down to less than 30kb?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:34, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
::Eh, the 500 errors are a configuration/setup issue. I highly doubt images are the root cause. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:44, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
:::No, it's a general agreed consensus that the 500 internal server error is occurring more often nowadays. It has to do with an increasing amount of SOMETHING. I'm going by this only lead right now. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:09, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
::::I mostly get 500 errors on pages that are large - that is - the body of text is large. Images really seem to have a negligible effect on whether a page 500's for me or not. We should think carefully about whether going about an image purge will largely be a wasted effort and/or do more harm than good towards error fixing (generating more edits - which may also form part of the problem). --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:06, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== Overlooked interview? ==

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed on the talk page for [[Chris-chan_Discusses...]], the subject of a previous interview was brought up, and Champ said he didn't want to put it on until they had a youtube version for it. A year later, someone did. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR_PrPHC2l0 The video doesn't have many views, and I don't believe it has an article for it. I'm not sure if any of this is relevant, but I wanted to draw attention to it in case it needs an article or some other mention.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 06:03, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*This is the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], that video is just a mirror. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 15:05, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

== Chris and diligence article? ==

Christian's work ethics and his laziness are rightfully infamous, but there isn't an article dealing with it en detail. I'd make it myself but due to stress and my poor grasp of English I'd rather hear the opinions of others on it before making a crappy attempt. --[[User:Maximilian Graves|Maximilian Graves]] 07:58, 15 September 2010 (PDT)
** Strangely enough, I was thinking the same thing. Though with how lazy he is, the article would probably grow to be almost as large as the article on sex. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 21:04, 15 September 2010 (EST)

== My response to the site administrator. ==

Just a few days ago, a member of our forums decided to claim that we were involved in attacks on your wiki. We were notified by the administrator of your site on a locked topic supposedly thanking us for our actions placed on PSPownsYou (or PBML) and also requested action on another supposed participant named Level1isbest. I just want to point out that we have no intention of harming your site and that the involved parties are a bunch of fucking trolls, but then again every person on Newgrounds does it for the lulz, not including school shootings (Jeff Weise). Sorry for any inconvienence. [[User:Tateos|Tateos]] 16:25, 15 September 2010 (PDT)

==Chris and Morality Page==

Though his morality has been mentioned on several other pages, I think it would be best to have one page dedicated to his morality, or lack there-of, and where it comes from, mainly his ego. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 21:07, 15 September 2010 (EST)
: Frankly, if it's coming from his ego, it should be mentioned on the [[ego]] page. This is, however, unless there's enough to justify a major Chris and page.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 20:37, 15 September 2010 (PDT)
:: I don't really think Chris's morality needs its own page, as it would end up being a documentation of all the times he's been a horrible person (huge list), and all of the reasons behind it (troll speculation). These issues are already covered rather in depth on Chris's own page, the White Knighting page, the pages on Chris's Lies, Things Chris Has Ripped Off, Women's Rights, Homos etc. I feel a page purely about what a bad person he is is redundant (and self-evident besides). [[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 09:46, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

== so i did some spring cleaning today. ==
http://www.mediafire.com/?q6dsbzkgteqxpp6 - and then i realized it was autumn. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 17:44, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

:Does the great Clyde wish for these to be uploaded to their appropriate articles? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:49, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

::No, I want them to stay in this link forever and never be posted on the CWCki. Ever. EVER. This is the reason why I posted on the CWCki, to ensure that would happen. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:50, 19 September 2010 (PDT)

I was doing some spring cleaning too, little cuz! I was going through my emails and then suddenly i stumbled upon this pic of CWC that WallFlower gave to me awhile back! As The Ancient Hawaiians used to say: A clean coconut is a clean soul. http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/7886/cwcinkilt.jpg [[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 17:58, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

:lol at the Marge Simpson poster - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 19:23, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

== Tugboat icon I made for Donations ==

[[File:Tugboat_donate_icon.png]] Enjoy!
[[User:Shiny|Shiny]] 13:31, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
*Include your CWCki username with your donation and you'll receive a SPECIAL, LIMITED EDITION user box for your page and you'll receive a "si a pretty cool guy" quote from yours truly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:23, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

So hey, I wanted to donate some shinies but my PayPal only gives out my dox rather than my CWCki username. I'll set up a new PayPal account in a bit. Gmail's the best way to go about it, right? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 03:26, 4 October 2010 (PDT)

== Faithfulness ==
Is there an article on Chris and his faithfulness to his "sweethearts", cause I was just skimming through Sonichu 10 where he claims Blanca is his true and honest sweetheart, but he's married in the future to Lovely Weather and slept with her, not to mention Meg? And that's probably not the only example one could think of. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 22:31, 29 September 2010 (EST)
*Just about every Sweetheart article showcases how unfaithful Chris is.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 15:32, 30 September 2010 (PDT)

== getting rid of the fan works section ==
it's just a drag on our servers. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:54, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:if anyone wants to argue against deleting the fan works section, speak up now plz. hurry! [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:32, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
::If it'll keep away the server errors then tear it down, burn the remains, and salt the earth. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:03, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
:::The section is bullshit that should have been killed months ago. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 19:26, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
Wasn't there plans for a wiki dedicated to fanworks? Whatever happened to that? For that matter, why is the fanworks section still up at all? Cogsdev wanted it trimmed several months ago.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 00:41, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:http://789chan.org/cxc/ [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:12, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
Can you give us an idea for an exact date for the deletion? I'd like to go through and save everything. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 20:22, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
:I'll save it all in a zip file. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:24, 4 October 2010 (PDT)

There's hardly anything left that's worth keeping. I say go for it.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 20:44, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
:Dunno guys, [[Fan:Choose Your Own Adventure|this for example]] is ace and I'll miss it. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 01:59, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
::If there's anything worth keeping it's that, [[Fan:Chris Gets Laid|Chris Gets Laid]], and [[Fan:Asperchu|the Asperchu fan page]]. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 17:09, 8 October 2010 (PDT)

In that case, move the Mailbag References page out of the Fan category. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 03:56, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

:As I mentioned on the fan discussion (In case nobody read it) It would be an affront to not have any backups of the stories here. I finished up my story (Silent CWCville) so save the stories, redistribute them throughout the internet. And tell me where they'll be moved. Thanks. --[[User:Radiant Price|Radiant Price]] 16:44, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

If it's going to be saved and taken elsewhere, I say nuke it.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 21:15, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

Just do it! people can use /cwc/ to post their creepy fantasies --[[User:GOTDANG|GOTDANG]] 06:31, 6 October 2010 (PDT)

Yeah,if you're gonna save it I'm all up for the deletion. --[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 13:03, 8 October 2010 (PDT)

Everything has been saved on the cwcki spec forums by the admin there so away this section goes. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 10:04, 15 October 2010 (PDT)
Blow it up --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 22:23, 19 October 2010 (PDT)

==Posting Kacey's Encounters with Chris==
Does anyone else feel that we should make a page with [http://pastebin.com/8FxWDZq6 Kacey's encounters with Chris] here? I mean, we reference it enough, and I think it's causing some confusion. Unless, of course, you feel that showing that Kacey was trolling him would be more confusing. [[user:Melainia|Melainia]] 12:20, 6 October 2010 (EST)
:That information is unsubstantiated. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 21:30, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
::Oh, true, I just wanted to ask. [[user:melainia|Melainia]] 12:53, 6 October 2010 (EST)
:I'm not so sure...Some of the information sounds feasable, And if I recall correctly during one of their final chats Kacey mentioned an IRL encounter with him. But at the moment I don't want for us to take any risks...Is it possible we can get a confirmation from Liquid? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 00:56, 6 October 2010 (EST)
::I do remember the sniffing incident being mentioned during the Father Call, and Chris did admit to touching her a lot. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 1:00, 6 October 2010 (EST)
:::liquid doesn't give a shit about this anymore. just let sleeping dogs lie with him. just forget about this stuff, we'll get the real story one day. maybe. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:08, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

==Need CWC E-Mail==

I'm looking to pull the wool over good ol' CWC's eyes via The 4Hoursemen project (details will be revealed later) but if it goes out the way i plan lulz will ensue but for these things to fall into play i need some way to talk to him.Would his youtube account work or will he not even respond on that? [[User:The 4horsemen project|The 4horsemen project]] 17:07, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
*Sign your posts. It's just four ~'s.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 16:40, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
*It's damn near impossible to get into contact with Chris. You'd have an easier time picking fly shit out of pepper while wearing boxing gloves. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 17:11, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
*CWCki really isn't the place to launch trolling and if you can't find Chris's e-mail, then you probably shouldn't be trolling him.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:17, 6 October 2010 (PDT)

*Oh i've found his e-mail but the fat bastard wont respond to me.Maybe i should find a diffrent approach... [[User:The 4horsemen project|The 4horsemen project]] 17:28, 6 October 2010 (PDT)

==Mental Stability==

So how's the mental stability on cristian?In his latest videos he seems a little more crazy then befor.

Sign your posts and take this to the speculation page.--[[User:Svek|Švek]] 09:45, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

== List of Appearances ==

[[User:General Rock|General Rock]] suggested that we have an article compiling all of the places where Chris has doodled Sonichu where it was totally unnecessary. From that drawing on the snow to his [[resume]], I'm sure we can come up with an exhaustive list. Thoughts? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 19:00, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
*He's 'fixated' on Sonichu; it happens with autistic people pretty often. [[User:BlueSpork|the infamous Blue Spork]] 00:39, 20 October 2010 (PDT)

== New template ==

{{Template:Cosplay videos}}

Did I forget something? --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:39, 12 October 2010 (PDT)

I think Chris dressing in a kilt and pretending to be Scottish counts as cosplay. I can't remember the exact video. [[User:MissRadioactive|MissRadioactive]] 05:24, 12 October 2010 (PDT)

* Nevermind. Found it. [[Tito_Got_No_Luck_Against_We_Brits,_Irish_and_Scots!]] [[User:MissRadioactive|MissRadioactive]] 05:45, 12 October 2010 (PDT)

== I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! ==

I was just re-watching some of the audiobooks, and came to an obvious but hilarious conclusion; our fearless leader has no clue how many people there are on earth (or is too [[Slow_in_the_mind]] to understand high school level math).

As I am a new user (Hi btw), and my Wiki skills are sub-par at best, I figured I'd prostrate myself before the CWCki masters before I made a n00b-ish page.

Here is a short greatest-hits list of Chris' math fails:

-In Episode 14 he (speaking through one of his characters) mentioned he sometimes detests 99.9999999999996% of the worldwide male population, not including himself and 'those within the margin of error.'

That means that he (and those unnamed males) make up 4.0x10^-13 of the male population, and since he included himself that means that there must be at least 2.5 trillion other males for him to despise.

Not only is this number 24x the total number of humans to have ever lived, but it isn't even the entire human population according to Chris! Going by the CIA World Factbook, the Male/Female ratio is currently about 1.01. Therefore there are at least 4.975 trillion people on earth.

[http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=+reciprocal4.0x10^-13]
[https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/xx.html]

-He has claimed that he has an IQ over 300; using the standard deviations of the Stanford-Binet tests (15 from a mean of 100), that would put him in at over 12.5 standard deviations; less than one in 2 Decillion people. That is not a typo. 2 Decillion is a real number, and it looks like this

2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

The Wechsler IQ test gives an even scarier result; 13.333 standard deviations, or one in one hundred undecillion. In longhand that looks like this

100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

[http://www.iqcomparisonsite.com/IQBasics.aspx]
[http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=12.5+standard+deviations+from+the+mean]

Maybe I'm wrong, but in my humble opinion [[fail]] is rarely as pure and as concentrated as a self-declared genius who thinks that there are more people alive on earth then there are stars in our galaxy*.

*~300 Billion by WolframAlpha's count

--[[User:Concerned Citizen|Concerned Citizen]] 20:08, 13 October 2010 (PDT)
*One, we have a forum dedicated to wild speculation and stuff, it's linked to in the NOT A FORUM template. Two, Chris wasn't thinking mathematically when he wrote 99.99999999996%, he just added extra 9's onto it until he felt like he'd made his point. Three, he just picked a high number because he understood that high IQ=smart guy. Chris doesn't think about things beyond the surface.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:13, 13 October 2010 (PDT)

*Although I agree Chris is an idiot and that he sucks at math, and although I agree that if we saw into his mind there would be enough content for an article, he's only demonstrated his math skillz once or twice. As of the moment, it really isn't article-worthy. Trust me, if there were enough content for it, I would be the first to support it. Still, drafting a page for it [[User:Concerned Citizen/Math|somewhere]] might be useful should more evidence of his inability come up. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 14:38, 14 October 2010 (PDT)

== Animation/short template ==

Do you think we can use a template for all the Lego/pen/paper shorts that Chris has made? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 20:11, 26 October 2010 (PDT)

== Chris comparisons ==

Is there potential for comparisons of Chris and various famous/infamous retards? See [[User:Kwon/Chris and Martin Bryant: A Comparison|the comparison of Chris and Martin Bryant on my user page]] for an example of what I mean. The format doesn't have to be the same. --[[User:Kwon|Kwon]] 01:01, 27 October 2010 (PDT)

the cwcki isn't meant for that purpose. besides, chris is chris. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 01:09, 27 October 2010 (PDT)

k. Fair enough. --[[User:Kwon|Kwon]] 01:10, 27 October 2010 (PDT)

== for logs and shit. Should there be a section for: Highlights? ==
Some people just don't have the patience to read all the logs. (see bluespike despite me actually editing them)

Or e-mails. Granted, some exchanges are so golden that they don't need a highlights section because they are all highlights but there have been some pretty boring things. I dunno. Maybe just for Bluespike because they are so long and unwieldy. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 09:46, 29 October 2010 (PDT)

: Highlights section sounds like a good idea. I've sort of wished something like that existed for [[Mailbag]], at least to give some sort of summary of what kind of stuff we could learn from there. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:03, 29 October 2010 (PDT)

== The Chris and... articles need a complete overhaul (Next project to improve) ==
I'm sick of conjecture and theories and STUPID BULLSHIT. I would do this myself, but I'm just going to get angry and destroy CWCki (again). This should be the next project to improve. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 14:33, 29 October 2010 (PDT)
:Not to bring your wrath upon me but I would ask: What specifically do you wish to see changed? Perhaps with a format to go off of we can accomplish what you seek. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 14:46, 29 October 2010 (PDT)
: I'm sick of conjecture and theories and STUPID BULLSHIT. oh and stick to facts only. There's a limit to how much stuff you can extrapolate from the actions that chris blahs out of his blahhole. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 14:52, 29 October 2010 (PDT)
: For those looking for areas that need the most attention, start with older videos (Ivy Saga and earlier are good places to go). Remove bullshit like "This video shows how much Chris fails at life" or "this video is one of the creepiest/worst/laziest videos Chris has ever made", and especially fuckery like "Chris was probably forced to make this because his parents yelled at him and he was hearing voices." Keep it all to a brief overview and objective as possible, with supporting facts where applicable. --[[User:OhhhMyAxels|OhhhMyAxels]] 14:33, 4 November 2010 (PDT)
:Can unecessary bullshit digressions be removed as well? A lot of times people add explanations of what exactly Chris did wrong where it's either 1)obvious or 2) shit no one cares about. Here is an example of what I mean "
Chris tries to translate Clyde Cash's name into Spanish, failing miserably. As you don't translate names, but if one did, it would be Dinero, not "Cashez", and the last name would still go last. Also, "de(l) ___" suffixes tend to be titles and honorifics. Thus, if names were to be translated, Clyde may be Claudio Dinero del Oro, lit: "Clyde Cash of the Gold." --[[User:Svek|Švek]] 08:27, 5 November 2010 (PDT)

== Donation drive ==

We need money for hosting and whatnot ([[User:Clydec|Clyde]] can explain it in details for people who care about technical shit). Donating will get you a '''SPECIAL, LIMITED EDITION''' user box (design to be announced). Donating $20 or more gets you another special edition userbox AND your very own "si a very cool guy" quote by yours truly. Donate early, donate often. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:18, 4 November 2010 (PDT)

== This showed up on my doorstep ==
http://www.mediafire.com/?8ca48v808ae5m0p I dunno the origin -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 18:16, 5 November 2010 (PDT)
http://www.mediafire.com/?mzqbcbh007abn88 oh this too. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 18:31, 5 November 2010 (PDT)

== J.J. articles ==

<s>So now, as the Jackie e-mails have revealed, the identity of JenkinsJinkies is out in the open. Should we make the appropriate articles and/or edits, now? I'm thinking of posting and re-transcribing the introduction video, as well as the history of the (disappointingly brief yet fruitful) saga.</s> --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 17:11, 6 November 2010 (PDT)
:Go ahead as long as Clyde doesn't object. --[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 17:31, 6 November 2010 (PDT)
::The edits have been deleted. Looks like JJ is still on our side.  ;) --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 20:57, 6 November 2010 (PDT)

File talk:CirclingOnJackie.jpg

2010-11-07T02:06:13Z

SeventhBase:

Oh my GodJesus... --[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 15:06, 6 November 2010 (PDT)

Are they ejaculating shit? --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 15:08, 6 November 2010 (PDT)
*Looks more like oil.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 15:10, 6 November 2010 (PDT)
Chris fails to follow instructions again. He was supposed to be having sex with her, not spraying love snot on her face with the other guys. Also, wtf is that ugly brown mound in front of her? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 16:43, 6 November 2010 (PDT)
*Never mind, it's apparently a very large black cock being jacked off with a left hand in reverse grip. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 17:24, 6 November 2010 (PDT)

{{Not A Forum}}

Let's find a home for these things, shall we not? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 19:05, 6 November 2010 (PDT)

File talk:CirclingOnJackie.jpg

2010-11-07T02:05:27Z

SeventhBase:

Oh my GodJesus... --[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 15:06, 6 November 2010 (PDT)

Are they ejaculating shit? --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 15:08, 6 November 2010 (PDT)
*Looks more like oil.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 15:10, 6 November 2010 (PDT)
Chris fails to follow instructions again. He was supposed to be having sex with her, not spraying love snot on her face with the other guys. Also, wtf is that ugly brown mound in front of her? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 16:43, 6 November 2010 (PDT)
*Never mind, it's apparently a very large black cock being jacked off with a left hand in reverse grip. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 17:24, 6 November 2010 (PDT)

{{notaforum}}

Let's find a home for these things, shall we not? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 19:05, 6 November 2010 (PDT)

Template:FanChats

2010-11-07T01:56:19Z

SeventhBase:

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#ccccff" align="center" width="95%"
| '''Chats with Chris'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px" |
'''[[Sonichu (IRC chat)|IRC]]:''' [''2008''] [[IRC (16 October 2008)|Oct 16]] | [[IRC (24 October 2008)|Oct 24]] | [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|Oct 26]] | [[IRC (26 November 2008)|Nov 26]] | [[IRC (13 December 2008)|Dec 13]] | [[IRC (15 December 2008)|Dec 15]] | [[IRC (17 December 2008)|Dec 17]] | [[IRC (18 December 2008)|Dec 18]] | [[IRC (22 December 2008)|Dec 22]] | [[IRC (27 December 2008)|Dec 27]] | [[IRC (28 December 2008)|Dec 28]] | [[IRC (31 December 2008)|Dec 31]] [''2009''] [[IRC (02 January 2009)|Jan 2]] | [[IRC (03 January 2009)|Jan 3]] | [[IRC (04 January 2009)|Jan 4]] | [[IRC (20 January 2009)|Jan 20]] | [[IRC (21 January 2009)|Jan 21]] | [[IRC (23 July 2009)|Jul 23]]

'''[[Mumble]]:''' [[Mumble 1|1]] | [[Mumble 2|2]] | [[Mumble 3|3]] | [[Mumble 3.5|3.5]] | [[Mumble 4|4]] | [[Mumble 5|5]] | [[Mumble 6|6]] | [[Mumble 7|7]] | [[Mumble 8|8]] | [[Mumble 9|9]] | [[Mumble 9.5|9.5]] | [[Mumble 10|10]] | [[Mumble 11|11]] | [[Mumble 12|12]]

'''[[BlueSpike PSN Chats]]:''' [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 1|1]] | [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2|2]] | [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|3]] | [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5|3.5]] | [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]] | [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|4]]

'''BlueSpike Skype Logs:''' [[BlueSpike Skype Logs|1]] | [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 2|2]] | [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 3|3]] | [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 4|4]] | [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 5|5]] | [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 6|6]] | [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 7|7]] | [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|8]] | [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 9|9]] | [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 10|10]] | [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 11|11]] | [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12|12]] | [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13|13]]

'''[[Sarah May Skype Logs]]'''

'''[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]:''' [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|1]] | [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|2]] | [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|3]] | [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|4]] | [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|5]] | [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|6]] | [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|7]] | [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|8]] | [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|9]]

'''[[Liquid Chris|Liquid Saga]]:''' [[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]] | [[Kacey Phone Call]] | [[Father Call]] | [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]

'''[[Jack Thaddeus]] calls:''' [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|1]]''' | '''[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 2|2]]''' | '''[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|3]]

'''[[Jackie]]:''' [[Jackie Chat 1|1]]''' | '''[[Jackie Chat 2|2]]''' | '''[[Jackie Chat 3|3]] | [[Jackie Chat 4|4]]''' | '''[[Jackie Chat 5|5]]''' | '''[[Jackie Chat 6|6]] | [[Jackie Chat 7|7]]''' | '''[[Jackie Chat 8|8]]''' | '''[[Jackie Chat 9|9]]''' | '''[[Lars Call]]'''

'''Other:''' [[CWC Cums for a Cat]] | [[Bob Walks In]] | [[Bob Walks In Aftermath]] | [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel]] | [[Julie Reveals Herself]] | [[Car Pranks]] | [[Prank calls]] | [[DPF phonecall]] | [[Sydney Contacts]] | [[Matthew Noble call]]
|}

<noinclude>[[Category: Templates]]</noinclude>

SonichuBabies

2010-11-07T01:29:28Z

SeventhBase: Undo revision 123725 by SeventhBase (talk) RRRGH!!!

[[File:11cfxgi.jpg.png|thumb|What the sonichu babies could have looked like [[Chris and art|if Chris could draw]]]]

'''SonichuBabies''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris rips off the [[1980s]] cartoon ''Muppet Babies'' by recasting the [[Chaotic Combo]] as [[Sonee and Rosey|babies]]. Much like [[Things Chris has ripped off|everything else he steals]], Chris's version of the series lacks any of the charm and wit the original cartoon had, transforming it into "Chaotic Combo as babies, doing stuff babies aren't ''supposed'' to be doing!"

Chris shows us his lack of understanding about what constitutes proper childcare by leaving the little creatures unattended. Showing that they aren't mature enough to be left alone for extended periods, the children [[Chris and sex|kiss]], watch TV shows meant for older audiences, ostracize Blake, and [[CWC Fighter|fight]] - Punchy even goes so far as to knock Wild out of a window, which could give Wild serious injuries.

This marks the first time Chris has actually done ''anything'' with his beloved Sonichu Characters since the [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas Special.]] Much to the [[Trolls|fans']] chagrin, Chris has decided to take all of his characters and turn them all into [[Sonee & Rosey|the most annoying part]] of the CWCVerse.

It should be noted that this is the first time a Sonee of Blake has appeared, casting him as [[wikipedia:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]], despite the fact that there's nothing to compare the two together, much less the rest of the characters. Also note that Chris [[autism|has to describe Blake's personality in detail]].

Also worth mentioning is that ''Sonichu Babies'' was the name of one of the stories in [[Sonichu 3]], though it was an origin story for the Combo. Since the Chaotic Combo never met in the comics until they evolved, and since it is established in the comics that Sonichu, Rosechu and Blake were never sonees or rosees at any point (Sonichu and Rosechu were transformed by the Chaotic Rainbow and Blake was cloned) it's possible that this is not canon in the CWCVerse, or a complete retcon.

As a further testament to Chris's utter lack of imagination, the vignette featuring Young Rosechu and Young Sonichu features the same elements from his [[PlayingHouse|other short]] that was released the same day: The wife works as a journalist, while the husband stays at home and is supposed to take care of a crying and shitting baby but delegates the task to the older sibling.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = SonichuBabies
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J3IuXNk5_LU}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[PlayingHouse]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Wittle Cute Sonees Page 1 by johaely.jpg|thumb|Sonichu babies!]]

''[Displays four crude drawings of members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] as babies, stuck to the end of what appear to be pens or straws, singing]'' Dooweeoooh, [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] babies, we make our dreams come truueee...

''[Wild Sonichu and Blake in shot]'' Sonichu babies, we'll do the same for youuu...

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Sonichu (character)|Sonee]] and [[Rosechu|Rosey]] in shot]'' When your world was kinda weird and you wished that you weren't theeere...

'''Rosey:''' Just close your eyes and make-believe, and you can be anywhere!

''[Drawing of a pair of human legs in shot]''

'''Nanny:''' Is everything alright in here?

'''Babies:''' Yes Nanny!

''[Displays all drawings, dropping some]'' Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Okay, let's beginning da show!

''[Sonee and Rosey appear]''

'''Sonee:''' We're having fun today in d-in d-in da ''room'', aren't we! Y-Aren't we Rosey!

'''Rosey:''' Hehedat's right Sonee, we're having fun in here! Dat's [[Wild]], [[Bubbles]] ''[Blake appears instead of Bubbles]'', [[Punchy]] ''[Angelica appears instead of Punchy]'', [[Magi-chan]], [[Angelica]], even [[Blake]]! ''[Shows other drawings]''

'''Blake:''' Hello. What? I'm [[Christian Weston Chandler|the weird one]]. Compare me to Gonzo. I have [[niggos|black]] hair though.

''[Fumbles with sticks for a few seconds, removes all but Sonee and Rosey]''

'''Both:''' Anyway, come with us, we'regoingtohavefun, whee!

''[Moves the two around without rhyme or reason]''

'''Both:''' Whee, oh we're having fun, wheeeewheeee! Mm.

'''Sonee:''' Ey Ro- ey Rosey we're jus' a... d-d-fun. What'd you wanna do now?

'''Rosey:''' I wanna do that thing like we saw on da [[TV]] show.

'''Sonee:''' That what ya wanna do?

'''Rosey:''' Yeaah! Alright!

''[Makes the baby siblings "kiss"]''

'''Both:''' Mmmmmmm! Mmmmm!

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and writing|Exposition!Magi-chan]] moves into shot]''

'''Magi-chan:''' What? Ever since they watched- they seen that kissing scene, on that episode of... [[wikipedia:Young and Restless|The Young and the Restless]]... they been makin' out, all the time! They lot-ov-enjoying it. Lil' Sonee has been noted saying, "she tastes like applesauce"!

''[Disembodied legs return]''

'''Nanny:''' Hey kids, I got' go out now. And mukku-my husband's comin' with me.

''[Comic Chris's trademark sneakers join]''

'''Chris:''' That's right. We're going out to go- we're going out shopping. We're gonna bring back some delicious groceries, and we'll be back in a lil' while. ''[Pause]'' Wait a minute. Who's gonna mind the babies?

'''Nanny:''' Oh yeah you're right. You stay home.

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah you're right, I'll stay home, you go out to get the groceries.

'''Nanny:''' Look how we settled that!

'''Chris:''' Well, we s- we're always able to settle things. Even und- even our minor disagreements. Look the way we still love each other. Mmm. ''[Pieces of paper "kiss"]'' Okay, see you later. ''[Female legs leave]''

'''Chris:''' Alright children, y'all s- y'all be carefull out here. I'm gonna keep the door op- I'm gonna keep the door open, you just uh, give me a shout if you uh, need anything. ''[Hastily grabs bunch of children in view]'' ''Okay Papa C!''

''[Bubbles and Wild, Rosey accidentally sneaks into frame]''

'''Bubbles:''' What's the matter, Wild?

'''Wild:''' Iunno. Suddenly I just don't feel well.

'''Bubbles:''' Well, and why is that?

'''Wild:''' I- I was watchin' my- I was watchin' Blues Clues the other day, and, I missed a clue!

'''Bubbles:''' You missed a clue? How'd you do that? You're- that guy was supposed to be able to detect da clues before that guy in the green shirt does!

'''Wild:''' Yeah, what was that guy's name? Uhh... heck if I know! Mm. Well, anyway... I feel, a bit, I feel bad because I missed a clue!

'''Bubbles:''' Dun worry about it, we all make mistakes.

'''Wild:''' Yeah, you're right. We all do make mistakes. I guess I'll get over this someho- s-sometime.

'''Bubbles:''' Yeah, you will. Hey, let's go play in the t- let's go play on the merry-go-round.

'''Wild:''' Okay! ''[Both move out of frame]'' Whee whee whee whee whee we'll go play onna merry-go round!

''[Pause, fumbling noises offscreen. Punchy enters.]''

'''Punchy:''' [[wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|Samurai Pizza Cats]]! Miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow! Samurai Pizza Cats! Miaowmiaowmiow miaow miaow! Samurai armor! Oh! A [[CWCville|communist]], huh? You freakin' no good-- [interrupted by off-screen female voice] Would anyone happen to have a nail file on them? ...C'mon sweetie, we're all doin' a TV show! Hey wait a sec I thought [unintelligible] on time because I watchin' live television!

''[Replaced by Blake]''

'''Blake:''' Aah, whatever. ''[Blake saunters off]'' Hmm.

''[Angelica enters]''

'''Angelica:''' All the lovely things we r- I read in the Bible. Lalalalalalalaa. Lovely things, inna Bible. Good story.

''[Magi-chan appears]''

'''Magi-chan:''' Mmm, what stories are you reading about there, Angelica?

'''Angelica:''' Oh, this one, I'm reading about [[Sega|Genesis]]. The story of Adam and Eve!

'''Magi-chan:''' Ah yes. And then the apple gets bitten.

'''Angelica:''' YOU SPOILED IT FOR ME!! [Pause] I suppose next you're gonna tell me who gets thrown out first.

'''Magi-chan:''' I won't, I'll just uh, give you respect, there.

'''Angelica:''' Thank you. [Pause] Oh no, Eve gets kicked out first? [Whine] Well, at least we women [[Women's Rights|grew to power]] eventually.

'''Magi-chan:''' Yeah.

''[Awkward pause]''

'''Angelica:''' Praaaise Jesus in all his lov- in all his... forgiveness for us, he died for our sins and everything.

'''Magi-chan:''' Yes, we are Christians. We go to church every Sunday.

'''Angelica:''' An' Nanny takes us!

'''Magi-chan:''' Yeah. And Chris comes with us too! [[Chris and religion|He's a good Christian, yes he is.]]

'''Angelica:''' So what you wanna do now?

'''Magi-chan:''' Let's go play with [[Lego]]s!

'''Angelica:''' Okay! Wheeee! We're off to play with Legos!

''[Long pause. Punchy and Bubbles come into view, before being hastily retracted. Chris mumbles to himself before replacing Bubbles with Wild Sonichu]''

'''Punchy:''' Hey Wild, you wanna spar a li'l?

'''Wild:''' Okay Punchy!

''[Punchy launches himself at Wild, falls over]''

'''Punchy:''' Huh. Got me there.

''[Wild "hits" Punchy]''

'''Punchy:''' Got me again. Well, I'm gonna get you now. PEWWWW!

''[Punchy flies into Wild, both go offscreen. Punchy returns alone]''

'''Punchy:''' Oh, shoot. I [[Mypoe|knocked him out da window!]] Yo c'mon[?], come in back in da window!

'''Wild:''' I'm really hurt! You had me lyin' in a bush!

'''Punchy:''' I'm sorry.

''[Awkward silence]''

'''Punchy:''' Aah, it's okay. Just be careful to watch yer punches. Cuz I gotta pull my punches if I wanna work[?] inside the nursery.

'''Wild:''' Yeah.

'''Punchy:''' So, I'll do that.

''[Punchy comes forward]''

'''Punchy:''' Because, [[Death threats|violence is not always the answer]] to e- is not always the answer. So- ye- uh, self defense, it ''can'' be... the answer.

''[Wild moves in front of Punchy]''

'''Wild:''' I agree. I don't like being bullied. Me, I was- b- m- I was out there riding my... bicycle the other day, an' [[Clyde Cash|bully]] comes up to me, and he, he g-steals the bicycle and he [[Kick the Autistic|beats me up]]! What's wrong with that dude?

'''Punchy:''' D'ya want me to go beat him up

'''Wild:''' Nah, I just need to learn self defense.

'''Punchy:''' I'm gonna go find and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|beat him up]]. Hiyaaa!

''[Both launch out of frame, but Wild returns]''

'''Wild:''' Ya don't even know what he looks like, where ya goin' Punchy? ...Anyway. ''[Turns around once, leaves]''

''[Punchy re-enters]''

'''Punchy:''' Th-you can't beat me Punchy[?], I'm [[Random-access humor|comical]], knock knock, who's there, orange, orange who, orange you glad I didn't say banana? ''[Pause]'' What? ''[Pause]'' Oh well. Knock knock. Who's there. Uhh, hello? What d'you mean, "hello". Well you said "who's there". Dyeah knock knock joke? I say "knock knock", you say "who's there". What? I stayed up watching [[Officer Keino|Home Movies]] one night. Place- It's a funny cartoon show with Brendon Small[?]. [[Sonichu 8|Not recommended for children]], though. It- still maybe teenagers. Or youth- or you- think it's a PG rating. TV-PG. ''[Jiggles around]'' I don't care I watched it by myself! I was up, I was wirey! I couldn't go to sleep! ''[Is still for a second, before leaving somewhat abruptly.]''

''[Sonee and Rosey return]''

'''Rosey:''' Okay so... What should we do now?

'''Sonee:''' I think let's go [[PlayingHouse|play House]]!

'''Rosey:''' Yeah let's go play House again!

'''Sonee:''' Yay! Doodoodoodooboodoodoo, hi honey I'm home.

'''Rosey:''' Oh, where've you been? Mmm, I mean, how was your day sweetheart?

'''Sonee:''' It's been good, y'know, I've just been, uh, doing business and everything. M-keepin' everything- keepin' the city safe with my swift speed and lightning attacks!

'''Rosey:''' Very good. I've been minding the children. Although when I went out, I wa- I was intercepted by one of the villains! But I- gre- myself at self defence, [[The Incredible Lioness|I struck them right back!]] And I stood my ground.

''[Pause]''

'''Sonee:''' That's very good. How're the children.

'''Rosey:''' I think I just told you that. ''[She didn't.]''

'''Sonee:''' Oh yes you did! The children are good! Hey- okay- so- that was good, let's do role reversal.

'''Rosey:''' Okay!

''[Switch places]''

'''Rosey:''' Hi honey, I'm home!

'''Sonee:''' Oh hi honey, how was w- how was- how was your work at [[Jackie|journalism]]?

'''Rosey:''' Oh, very good, I wrote- guh story here, and there. [Pause] The bank was robbed.

'''Sonee:''' There was a v- there was a bank robbery?

'''Rosey:''' Yeah, didn't you hear that? There was a horse and mane[????]!

'''Sonee:''' Horse and mane?

'''Rosey:''' Sure, the horse was on the main!''

''[Pause]''

'''Rosey:''' What? Iunno. Go figure. Comedy. Anyway, [unintelligible], and I made, bulublugh, and I made, promotion!

'''Sonee:''' Very good. The children have been doi- have been doin' good today. I mean theyuh, the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-]] I mean uh, the younger one [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|pooped all over the place]]. Ugh, that was a whole bunch to clean up. And, uh... and the older one missed the toilet! I didn't know what to do with that, 'cept to clean it up, and tell her that it was wrong to do it in that direction, not to [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|aim it this way]], that. So I've been cleanin' and cookin' and keeping house all day long.

'''Rosey:''' And I've been out journalism all day.

'''Sonee:''' Yeah.

''[Pause]''

'''Sonee:''' Anyway uh, today was grocery shopping day so I went out for groceries. S- an' children ha- and children... went with me. I took them along with me. And, they were okay in the car for a little while but then there was a scr- then on the way home there was a screaming. Yeah, the younger one was tired. Just waawaawaawaawaa. Waaa. ''[Pause]'' So the older one kept- kept the, uh- kept the younger one quiet, you know. At least she knew better. So, she calmed him down.

'''Rosey:''' That's good.

'''Sonee:''' I had to change a few [[Butt garments|diapers]] to- I had to change a whole number of diapers for that little one. What a mess. But I'm willing to go through with it, because I am the father! The house husband.

'''Rosey:''' And I'm the one that goes out, make the money.

'''Sonee:''' Okay. So. Wanna end the show.

'''Rosey:''' Why not?

'''Sonee:''' The puppet show. Alright. Yeah.

'''Narrator:''' Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Dudududududuh!

''[Feet come back into view]''

Dududududududuh! Duh duh!

'''Nanny:''' Thank you very much, goodnight!

'''Chris:''' Goodnight.

==See also==

*[[A Sonichu Day]]
*[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[PlayingHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

SonichuBabies

2010-11-07T01:28:32Z

SeventhBase: ?!?!

Jackie E-mails 10

2010-11-07T01:05:43Z

SeventhBase:

{{Email|August 24, 2010 - 10:04pm

Hey Chris! I got the video, so you can take it down from MegaUploader. Thanks for making it so quickly!!

Were you really on the news that night? That's wacky, I watch a lot of news but I never see high school graduations covered on the news, even local news; there's hundreds of schools in any city that have a graduation every year so I don't know why the news would cover them. Why do you think they were recording your graduation specifically? Can you find me a clip of yourself from that night? I'd love to see your graduation.

As for the trolling forum, I told you last time Chris, whoever those people are they have been around a long time, they can obviously hide themselves so Sony doesn't find them. You've mailed Sony before, and guess what? They're still there! Ugh, Chris, did you just email Sony and expect the problem to go away? I told you that you need to solve this problem on your own! And I also told you that you need to start things on the forum, too. You know these trolls way better than I do - how am I supposed to just think of something to say if you can't even think of something to say? I can't post on the forum for you, Chris. And Sony can't post on the forum for you, either. How much thought have you really put into trying to come up with something? Any?

sigh... well, anyway, I don't want to sound like a ninny. Let's talk about the video, which I really liked! I think you did a pretty good job with it, there isn't a whole lot I would change. I do think you should try to be a little more emphatic and emotional - you told them how much you care about this, but you should also show them with your body language. Use sweeping hand gestures, that sort of thing. And also make sure to use strong facial expressions, put your heart into it. That will really hook their attention. Hmm... also, one more thing. You say in the video that you are trying to avoid getting trolls' attention with the video. While that's true, the fact is, there probably will be some trolls trying to comment on it anyway, and whether you want their attention or not they'll be there. That's why you should take a slightly different route: Even though it probably sounds odd, I think it would be okay to directly address the trolls briefly. Say something like "Hey trolls, I know you're watching this. Well, I don't care, so go pin a rose on your nose." Do it really smug and happy to show them how you just laugh off their attempts to get to you. That, if anything, is better than just trying not to call attention to them, because they already know you are trying not to. Gotta be one step ahead of them.

Ooh, one more thing: you mention briefly that you are the creator of Sonichu. I think you should go on a little bit more about Sonichu, because it is a huge thing that you've done. I'm sure your old classmates know about Sonichu, maybe you can recall some of your favorite moments of the comic, and maybe ask them to tell you their favorite moments of the comic, or who their favorite characters are. That will remind them of how much of an artist you are, the good memories will flood back for them!

Ooh, Chris, I can't wait for the drawing! You're my hero right now!! <3 <3 <3

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 25, 2010 - 6:44pm

I will rerecord the video with more emotions a little later (and maybe with a better shirt).

I sense a misunderstanding; I was talking Theoretically on the Graduation being recorded for television; I did not say that it was televised for Certain. Although I am certain there were a number of people in the audience with camcorders, including the families of at least the "C"-named students neighboring me in the lineup. However if I should find a clip of that night and my error, I will let you know about it.

Speaking of which, last night on NBC News @ 11, they talked about Mary Baldwin College and their Military Troop. You may have covered that a bit in your Journalism. ;) They also talked a bit of the grass of the grounds; not sure what specifically.

Talking about Sonichu and my favorite memories is a good idea, especially to shut the trolls up a bit, and give the fans some good service. I should inform you that I created Sonichu on March 17, 2000; within my Seinor Year at Manchester High, and even then he was just getting started on the CD-Cover of "Christian's Favorite Hits" that I created in my Computer Graphics Class and Homemade Pok'emon Trading Cards. The comics didn't start really until about 2004, and the Story Formations and other Character Creations happened within the Four years. Granted my classmates may or may not have found my comic pages online beyond 2004... Point is the Stories were only Starting Up my Seinor Year, and there was Nothing before then.

Fun Stories, though, my C.O.Y2K, and Computer Graphics Class, classmate, and one of my close friends, Miranda Mitchell, redesigned the "CWC's Pok'eSite 2!" Logo to the better-looking shiny one that came about later. *See attached Logo JPGs; the "pklg2" was the Original; "cwcpktwo" was Miranda's work. It was an assignment, in partners, of designing Logos for Companies; I did one for Miranda of two Chicks (young chickens) and a Strawberry (fruit) (file not found at the moment, but is printed on a big poster I designed for a later C.G. project). So at least Miranda is (or was at least) aware of Sonichu.

Plus, Bionic the Hedgehog (attached gif), was Born also in Manchester High (or created in imagination), but during my Freshman Year back in 1996 Litterally while I was reading a "Fear Street" Novel during a Basketball Practice Session while I was a Manager of the Varsity Team. So, in a way, Sonichu and Bionic are like brothers; being born in the same school building. That would be an interesting idea; Bionic the Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog's Lost-and-later-found Older Brother who became a well-experienced mechanic and Basketball All-Star for Manchester High, Vs Sonichu, the Electric-Hedgehog Pok'emon with incredible speeds and Zapping Powers, in an One-on-One Basketball Game.

Lastly, the Troll Forum. I think I misspoke on not knowing what to say or do on the Forum; I was on there last night checking out new stuff, then I suddenly got the ideas in response to what I was reading. "Miranda Cosgrove" on there now fears me, Christian, knowing about the Forum after sending a link to Sony. As "Junior", I played along and replied about Chris boycotting downloading anything new from within ModNation Racers or LittleBiGPlanet, in response to reading about their plan of planting a spyware virus in a Published Creation of theirs. Plus telling them that Chris may come out of hiding and create a new video, ruining their trite "Christian is Dead" rumor (repeated acts are LAME). Also telling them about me disconnecting my WiFi to keep them from spying on me at random times. And in another post reply, I told them Patti's body was buried under cement blocks with the heavy dog house on top of them. And counting all of the surrounding plants, and telling them the fable of pouring cement into the hole as well, it was like "Fort fuckin' Knox". LOL

After that last night (this morning), I formulated more counter-details I can tell them, and I even made up a scary ghost story that happens to Junior.

Junior goes over to my house from the house across from mine (there are literally Five houses across the streets from mine, so if you look at them, you take your pick of which one Junior lives in) with a flashlight one night. He is trekking through the daylilly garden aisles, searching for more bad he can do about the house. When suddenly, he hears a voice, "Hello". He looks around and sees nobody. Then suddenly, he is paralyzed; his ankles and wrists are pulled in his left and right directions, feeling like there were hands holding them down on a floor, and he feels a pair of hands on his Neck too; strangling him, yet he can still breathe. Then the voice comes back, "Hello, Mr. Troll." It is the voice of a child, about 8 years old. Junior struggles to look around, yet sees nobody. The voice continues, "Do not be afraid of me, like the teachers of the Elementary School were; they did not understand me and my mind. I want you to understand my mind..." Right after, Junior sees a lot of strange images going through his mind. Including which were the images of an abusive babysitter called "Roache" locking him alone in a static room; a therapy session at James Madison University; the teachers, guidance counsoler and principal of Nathanel Greene Elementary School holding him down and taping his screams and more. Junior tried to scream, but Nothing came out; it was a Scream of Silence.

Next thing he knows, he is knocked back onto the cement block trail of the garden aisle, by the weight of a big dog, yet there was no dog body. Wrists, Ankles and Neck still being hand-held, the child ghost leaves his mind, and then he hears a deep womanly voice, Growling at him as he smells the stench of a dog's breath surrounding his nostrils. The voice says, "Do not mess with my master, my family or me, you infidel!" Next, he feels the sting of the dog biting into both his ankles, one after the other. At that moment, Junior struggles back, leaving behind the lit flashlight he dropped earlier when his arms were being stretched out. And he limps as fast as he can back to his house, closing and locking his door back in, gasping for breath and dripping with sweat. He limps to the bathroom with the shower and looks in the mirror; what a gross mess he looked like. And he noticed a Red Rash on the right side of his neck, and rashes on both his wrists, from the hands that held them in place. And his pant legs were ripped, and he saw on both his ankles rashes and Teeth Marks of a Dog. He tried to scream again, but it was another silent scream. And Junior was unable to speak at all for Four Hours. For he has encountered the Spirits of Young Christopher Weston Chandler and Patti, protecting the Chandler Household.

The End.

The hands pinning him down I got from the time I was held down by the same school faculty members of N.G.E.S., and I literally came home with a rash on the right side of my neck; my mom took a photograph of it. I also took speech therapy sessions at J.M.U. during my childhood. I get my horror tale telling from the book works of Mr. R.L. Stein; author of the "Goosebumps" and "Fear Street" Novel Series.

I'm thinking of adding Junior's story to the Forum, as a tactic of scaring the Trolls to stay away and stop messing with me and my family and our household.

I'll TTYL, Sweetheart.
Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 25, 2010 - 8:52pm

Hey Chris!

Oh, I misunderstood about the news thing, I thought you meant you knew for sure it was. You might be right though, maybe there is news footage of it somewhere. It'd still be kind of cool to see it.

I really look forward to seeing the final video! You know, you should probably just release it directly on youtube, you don't need to send it to me again. You did such a good job with the first version, once you incorporate the new features I'm sure it will be good to go. And since you got the first version so quickly, I think you can still make the final version by tomorrow at 9:00pm. Remember, the sooner it's up, the sooner your old classmates can see it. I have confidence in your abilities! :)

I like your ideas for feeding misinformation to the trolls, it sounds like you're really coming up with quite a few good ones. Your ghost story is really well thought out, just reading it I could feel the suspense and fear you are trying to put into it - it made me shiver! :) :) I was also looking at a couple more threads today and saw some interesting ones: Here's one about juggalos. <nowiki>http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=87</nowiki>
Did you really wear juggalo make-up? That sounds cute! Maybe you could do it again sometime. It sounds like that got to them when you did it.

Here's another one about rewards they are offering for various stuff: <nowiki>http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=86</nowiki>
One of them is that they are offering $4,000 for a gay sex video with you in it - they actually want Junior Jenkins to be the one to do it to Chris! They said it wouldn't be a problem for you because of the gay experimentation "jinkies" did in his youth. I don't know how you would be able to fake that one, but maybe we could think of something; maybe use dim lighting and pretend there's two people on the video, some camera tricks or something. Another thing is they are offering a LOT of money for your PS3 to be destroyed. That one would be easier to do , obviously - either one would get you that reward money. Wouldn't it be hilarious if you fooled them and then got money for it? If you destroyed your PS3 you'd probably have to wait a bit to get the money and replace it. Well, either one gets you a lot of money. What do you think you'd rather do, destroy the PS3 or fake a gay sex video?

Hmm, they also would be willing to pay reward for proof of your straightness, although they don't say how much. Hmm, I'm not sure how you could do that... well, we can think of something.

Anyway, I had another idea after I read your ghost story. A lot of people will probably be skeptical upon reading it. But what if you made another video after your current one where you tell a similar scary story and somehow incorporated it? Tell a story about some time when you encountered eerie stuff like what Jenkins is talking about. Like, do a close-up of your face with the lights out and a flashlight shining up from under your face, and somehow reference the ghost story. My idea is, you tell the story from Jenkins Jinkies perspective, and the trolls will think "yeah, sure, whatever..." but then CHRIS, instead of JINKIES, releases a video that is about the haunting. Suddenly, the trolls see two different people talking about the same supernatural elements... and suddenly they can't just dismiss it. Gets under their skin.

I gotta go now, but your Sonichu stuff sounds interesting too; when I get more time to write I have some more questions to ask about it. I can't wait to see the video up! Talk to you tomorrow sweetie!!

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{Email|August 26, 2010 - 8:57pm

Hey Chris, I was kind of hoping you'd write me tonight! I was looking forward to seeing your video online. Or did you get it up? I actually don't remember the link for your youtube account. But I kind of was hoping you'd write me to let me know it was up, I thought you'd be excited to do so. Oh well, guess maybe I'll have to go to bed without seeing it...

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 27, 2010 - 2:53am

I apologize for being late in replying; the video is uploading right now, and I'll have the link pasted on the bottom of this e-mail after it's been uploaded.

Thank you for your support in my ghost story; in the Forum, they took it lightly. Although, after my father's reading of the print-outs of their words, he states, "We've got them going 'round in circles." I think the video I did with the face paint is still on my Y.T. Account, and I think I have a photo saved somewhere; uncertain at the moment.

I saw their "Rewards" topic. Firstly, let me inform you that considering MOST of the trolls are immature, underage, demented, twisted, sick, evil and such; the "rewards" would obviously be False. If a troll actually comes up with such "footage" and gives it to someone like Clyde Cash, Clyde would NOT give out any money. So, with that considered, I would never make such a gay video, or PS3-wrecking video, for even a Billion Dollars. And with that, I would appreciate it if you would not even think of me making any footage for the Trolls' "Money" ever again, please.

Proof of my straightness would be a no-brainer. ;) You and Me kissing, cuddling, yada, yada, yada. LOL :)

Right after recording the video, and before re-hooking my router to get back online, I typed a list of my M.H.S. C.O.2000 Classmates' names, with two blank columns for current phone number(s) and address. In the video, I encourage them to snail-mail or telephone my house phone. My father will handle the sorting out the phonies from the real deals with name verification and such. So the list is for him to fill in the blanks of contact info from the calls and letters incoming from my classmates.

I also make a Public Announcement for Internet Safety and TrollBusting as a second topic in the video.

I have not forgotten the drawing of you and me and the circle-bangers; I'm having trouble getting a good picture in my head of the scenario to be able to draw it. I have some idea, but it's not complete to me yet. I am an artist, and for my Sweetheart, I want to be able to do my best on the work. But I will try to have a good picture in my head as quickly as possible, and have the drawing ready by Sunday.

The video is uploaded. <nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQ-dpgxZruI</nowiki>

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweetest, Sweetheart.
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 27, 2010 - 8:54am

Ooh, Chris, I'm so excited to see it!!! I just watched it, I think you did perfectly.

I have some more ideas, like I think you should make a video telling a ghost story, to reinforce Jinkie's story on the forum. I have to rush out the door right now but I'll write more detail when I get home later today.

I'm so happy!!

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{Email|August 27, 2010 - 4:17pm

Okay, I have some more time to write now. Long day.

So, I guess maybe it is a long shot to get money out of the trolls, although I still think it would be fun to mess with them. But I fully encourage you to do the ghost story video. Like I said, shine a flashlight up from under your face and have all the lights out, and tell a story about the ghosts like Jinkies did. Obviously don't mention Jinkies or the forum or anything - it has to look like a complete coincidence that you are bringing this up. When they see similar stories coming from two independent sources, they won't be able to dismiss it so lightly.

So your father is going to help you sort out all the stuff from your classmates? Oh, I thought you were going to have me help you, I said I'd like to. The reason I wonder about your father is just that he's from a time before the internet, so he might not be as capable of spotting phonies... You know, a lot of people communicate primarily through the internet these days, so I wouldn't be surprised if that's how your classmates try to get in touch with you. A lot of people I know prefer to use email because they don't want to send their addresses or phone numbers out where they might not be secure. I know that trolls might - or rather, will probably - try to send false leads to you but that's why I'm here, to help you sort stuff out. If you refuse to accept any email contact, it will severely limit who gets in touch with you.

So you won't have my drawing until Sunday? sigh... well, I want you to do your best with it, so I guess I understand. I'm still looking forward to seeing it.

Hey, you uploaded a new video? Your playstation hard drive was formatted and erased? How exactly did that happen? Ouch, I know you had tons of stuff saved on it. So what all did you lose, I'm not clear? Did you lose your saved games and trophies and stuff? What about all that expensive DLC you had for little big planet? You know, this might be actually a blessing in disguise, though. If you've lost all your save data for your games, maybe now you won't be as tempted to keep playing all that stuff. You know that phrase "God works in mysterious ways"? Maybe God saw you were hesitant to walk away from little big planet, and He gave you a little push. Maybe this was all God's doing. Regardless, I suggest you try to take the best out of the situation. Maybe step away from the games for a bit, like we've talked about. (Or maybe now that your games are gone, you'll have extra time to put into getting my drawing done and sending it to me? :) :) :)

Well anyway, I hope you do the ghost story video soon. You can be a really good storyteller when you try to be, I'm excited to see what you come up with!

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 27, 2010 - 9:18pm

Jackie, I will address the other topics of your e-mail in my next one, and I promise to have the drawing for you by Sunday.

But to elaborate, for a few weeks, I have been getting error codes and being disabled from downloading video and digital comic contents from the Playstation Store; I've called them a week or two ago to address it for the first time. Yet even up to today, I still have the problem, and it seems only to affect my Main account; not my secondary account. Anyway, in a troubleshooting attempt that was new to me when I called Sony today to possibly kill a corrupt file that may be causing the trouble. I followed the woman's instructions to Restore the System Files. In Miscommunications (with some faulty headphones on her end, and even though trying to make Sure I was taking the right steps, I had a bit difficulty understanding her on my end as well). Anyway, there was an error in the System File Recovery, and the console recommended Formating the Hard Drive, and this is where the misunderstandings come in; I wanted to make sure this was only affecting the System's Hard Drive, not the removable notebook HDD, and that my music, videos, games, saves and all would be safe. She heard "System File Recovery" when I read "Formatting the Hard Drive"; I was thinking "System's Hard Drive" over "Removable HDD". And I clicked "Yes" on the Format, and when the XMB came back up, ALL of my Photos, Music, Videos, Games, Saves, Downloaded DLC... GONE! I was in Major Shock, but she, Michelle, was kind enough to stay on the line for me while I collected myself. I think it took about 10 minutes to make a bit of sense and retain calm and coolness.

I'm currently still a bit shook up, but I see it as a fresh start again. I will redownload my Game Contents, and I've requested Michelle to see if she can give me credit for the Purchased Videos I've downloaded, so I can redownload them again. I should have gotten a second 500GB External HDD sooner for backing the videos up; can't think of everything (or afford everything soon enough; the new Wal-Mart has my ideal 500GB WD External HDD at a Rollback of $55, which currently is a bargain for the item.

I'm starting on redownloading all of the Add-Ons, Music and Themes previously purchased, followed afterwards with the Game Software, in order from first item purchased to last (bottom to top). And I've restarted and reestablished my ModNation Racers Profile, and I recollected my Trophies from the Online Server. Plus, I've redownload my MNR creations from Published, and I'll have to replay the whole Carrer to unlock everything again. As for LittleBiGPlanet, I've backed up my profile a few months back, about last April, so all I'll should need to do for that is replay the Marvel Levels to recollect the bits and pieces there.

And I'll replay my Guitar Hero Games later on, as well as my other Disc games, especially my Sonic the Hedgehog Titles.

Also, I'd like to be able to put this towards you, Jackie, with a Fresher Start on my PS3, you and I, we can make our own music on it together from scratch, in addition to our outings, movie nights and romantic encounters (including Fooly Cooly). ;)

With the events of the day, I feel less constricted by my PS3, and I am able to regain control. With my reconstructing my Game Saves over time, I'll likely be least inclined to purchase any new games, discs or downloadable for a good amount of time.

And I can still spend my sweet time in real life with my Sweetheart, Jackie. ;)

It's good now, and I am recovering well.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet.
Christian. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3}}

{{Email|August 27, 2010 - 10:17pm

Hey Chris.

Wow, I'm really sorry that this happened. I've had computers crash before, it's a pain in the ass.

But you know, I think it's a bad sign that this seems to be consuming all of your thoughts right now. I mean, yeah, it sucks when a computer crashes and you lose your data. But come on, it's just video games and movies. You're going to get all that stuff back anyway because the PSN saves records of all your downloads, so what's the big deal? This is barely a hiccup to you. Ever had a computer crash and delete your term paper the day before its due, and if you can't turn it in you'll fail your class? That's a REAL computer problem. I mean, you say you're "shook up" as if you've been in a car crash or something. This is just a temporary inconvenience.

I don't really understand how you say you're less constricted by your PS3 now. You've just written me a giant email that talks about nothing but how dismayed you are by an inconvenient computer error, and explaining in detail how you intend to devote yourself to downloading and replaying all your old games just to get old save files back. Chris, not buying new games is a good thing. But not buying new games simply because you enslave yourself to playing your old games, because you can't stand the thought of not having all your old save files at the ready, is the wrong reason to do it. It all says what I've been telling you: that you're just addicted to video games.

And I understand that you were trying to be romantic by suggesting we make songs on guitar hero together, but considering your addiction problems hearing you say that really just makes me feel kind of sad because you're trying to pull me into that world of darkness, all the while I'm trying to pull you out into the light.

Maybe you should use this time to be constructive. As I say, maybe God is trying to tell you something. Step away from the video games for now. I mean, while you're redownloading a bunch of games that you've already played hundreds of hours in, I'm sitting here waiting for a drawing that you promised to have to me by tonight. :( You should also be spending time doing things like making that ghost story video. I'm not just saying this because these are things you should be doing, but because focusing your mind on other tasks will be helpful in drawing you away from thinking about your little video game hiccup.

Another thing you can do to keep yourself occupied is keep working on the troll forum. I looked back on that thread about the reward money, here: <nowiki>http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=86</nowiki>
There's that girl who was talking about the pink shirted girls, remember? She posted a picture of the cash reward that Clyde sent her. Chris, I think Clyde might be REAL here. He might be insane, but he's actually PAYING these trolls just like he said he would. I know it seemed impossible but he's actually paying people rewards. You can use this, Chris. Make a video that fulfills one of those requirements, like the fake gay sex video or something. Or frankly, I would actually endorse you destroying your PS3 on camera for him, because it would kill two birds with one stone - get reward money from them, and sever a giant chain to your addiction. Chris, this is a perfect avenue you can take to get your mind of your video games. Get some of that reward money! That way you can pay off what you owe your dad, have some spending cash, and show up those morons.

Have you received any contacts from old classmates yet? Remember like I said, just show any you get to me and I'll help you sort the real from the fakes. These are all things you can do to take your mind off of your PS3 glitch. I believe in you, Chris!!

<3 <3 <3

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 28, 2010 - 12:51pm

Within the majority of the Save Data that was created with my gameplay from within the past about 3 years, such as within the Guitar Hero games that allowed me to create a game version of myself, while I was playing and creating myself, they were more reflecting of myself during my lonely years of life, and even worse during the years I was having to deal and be tortured by those Trolls.

When I lost all of the Save Data in the Format, I lost the me that was enduring those lonely, hard times; it was like I lost a relative, but what was lost was the Lonely, Considerably Pathetic Me. And behind those emotions, were the Darker reasons behind the gameplay. I have awakened anew, with the anguish of the past three years washed away.

But NOW, I have a more positive turn in my life; my Future with You, Jackie. And from this point on, my gameplay on my PS3, which was tainted in the darkness of loneliness, can now be gameplay of the Light of Happiness from the Romance between you and me.

Yet, you are right, Jackie, during the immediate Post-Death of the Lonliness and Anguish, I can and will use my Refreshed Energy to focus on the immediate, more important needs and details of life, including the Take Down of the Trolls, while the Software Data is being redownloaded.

Granted, I may be inclining, or have inclined, speak of new gameplay to recover game data that HAD my old self in them, that is NOT the case. I am moving forward towards a brighter future, and I will not be tied down again by self-pity and anguish that once was there and which will NOT be emotionally recreated.

Jacklyn, I had spent my money on the store and new games, because I did not have a Sweetheart to spend on and shop for. But now that you are in my life, and our future is certain, I will better dedicate my funds to US and Our future together. With the Emotional Anguishes GONE in the wind For Real now, Gaming has once again been reduced to a Hobby for me. I promise you, Sweetheart, from this day forward, the Main Topic will always be about You And Me.

I have read and looked over the reward topic page you have linked me to. I have come to a decision, I Will Destroy my PS3 Console with a Brick, and I will have it video-recorded. I have another friend who can pretend to be Junior Jenkins to record it in action, in my own backyard. I have backed up my MNR and LBP Data, plus I've found I've backed up a LOT of the game data last February on a Flash Drive, NOT including Guitar Hero World Tour and beyond, with the Custom Player features. The console was old anyway, and with the reward, I can get the newer, slimmer version and begin anew on IT instead. But out of respect, I am going to keep the removable cover I've decorated with my self-game cover printed decals as a momento, and I have removed the 500GB HDD, which I understand and accept will be reformatted when installed into the new PS3. And I can still access my PSN accounts, with Three Less Out-of-US accounts I've lost the passwords for long ago; I've been relogging into them, because the passwords were saved onto the console. Give Me Respect; I AM going to do this, and I will use the majority of the 9K to pay back my father. I am trusting you to keep this information confidential, less the Removable Cover with the Decals; I will reveal in the Video that I will be keeping that as a momento.

*sigh*

I will make the call to my friend shortly after this e-mail, and I'll have to be leaving soon for lunch with my father. But let me address the remaining topics in your previous e-mails briefly before I wrap this up.

I have the idea for the drawing, and I am Ready to draw it; you will have it in an e-mail tonight around 9 or 10:00. My father has declined aiding me in taking the phone calls from my classmates; we've been getting mostly the Jokers anyway, so no classmates yet. I will add a comment to the video to send me e-mails in addition to calling and snail-mailing me. I will give great consideration to me telling the Ghost Story.

I have to go now. I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe and Sweet, Jacklyn.
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 28, 2010 - 2:53pm

Hey Chris!

Well, I can kind of understand where you're coming from. In fact, I think maybe I kind of misunderstood what you were saying before. You see me as the light in your life Chris? Oh my goodness, that is so incredibly sweet of you. I feel the same way about you, Chris! I'm so happy you are able to express yourself to me like this. I feel so close to you. I am so glad that I've given you this hope and happiness Chris. I was worried for a bit that my message about your video games wasn't getting through, but I see now I was wrong to doubt you. I can understand why your lonely video game times have provoke such strong memories for you. But the fact that you are strong enough to recognize that you have a new outlook on life is so amazing and inspiring.

Oh Chris, you've made me feel like the most special girl in the world... ;) ;) ;)

Oh my god, you're going to destroy your PS3?? That is amazing, Chris!! So you're going to smash it with a brick? Here's how I suggest you do the video: First, you're going to need to be in costume and with a mask on (remember, since "Jinkies" is the one smashing it, not Chris). Then, on the video, do a close-up of the PS3 intact, and say that you're going to remove the custom cover and hard drive as trophies of your victory over Chris. Video tape yourself removing those parts and putting them aside. Then, take your brick, and bring it down hard on the console. Have the camera show clearly you smashing it, over and over and over. Don't stop until every last part of the console has been ground into shards or plastic and metal. Remember, they're offering a lot of money, so they'll want to see the job done thoroughly and perfectly; make sure it's clearly shown that NOTHING from the console survived (aside from the cover and hard drive, obviously). Then, hold the cover up next to your masked face and give a thumbs up and say something like "you got trolled, Chris." The reason I want you to be so meticulous and thorough about this is because we want them to be so completely ecstatic over this... that after you've received their money, when you make a new video showing how you fooled them all, it will DEVASTATE them.

Who is your friend that you're going to get to help you? Do you mean Samantha? I hope she's able to help you. Although if she can't, maybe you can just set the camera on a stationary surface while you do it. Do you have a tripod for it? That might actually be better than having a person hold the camera, because the video will be much clearer if the view is stationary.

So anyway, I'm glad that you're going to be responsible with your reward money. Paying off your dad and putting much of it in savings is definitely the right thing to do. If you want to get the new PS3, that's definitely cool, you'll certainly have earned the right to splurge a bit on yourself. I never wanted to cut out your video games completely, video games are perfectly fine if you can manage them. But the fact that you're willing to destroy your current one and be without it for a couple days until you get your money shows that YOU are the one in control of them, not the other way around. YOU are the one choosing what to do. I'm so proud of you, Chris.

So your father doesn't really want to help with fishing out your old classmates? Well, like I said, I can help you instead. If you get any phone messages, just give me the phone numbers and tell me what they say and I can help you spot the fakes, look them up to see if they are who they say they are. Same thing with emails - just forward me any emails you get and I can look them over. Your father is probably busy, but I certainly have some time to help, and I'd love to do it for you too. You've been making so many sweet gestures for me recently, it's the least I can do ;)

I can't wait to see my drawing!!! I'm excited to see what you make it out to be. Oh, I feel so happy right now, Chris!!

XOXO

Jackie}}

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