CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Flipnote Hatena

2010-06-25T01:08:45Z

Shawths: /* New Flipnote Animation - "HippoOnYourHead" */

Get all of chris's comments, save his flipnote bullshit creations

and uh

yeah. he favorited over 71 PAGES OF THESE FUCKING THINGS

[[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:42, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Archive of comments in progress. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:13, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016
Fuck, he knows we filmed him. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*By the way, it's page 22 of the comments.
:I disagree. This is not conclusive confirmation that he was aware of people filming him. He could easily be referring to previous times where people have witnessed him out and about (like the Michael Snyder incident). He may have suspected people were following him about there but we don't know if he was aware for sure. I sense we may get a new video soon. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:22, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

:*At least he didn't comment on all of them. I'm thinking get screencaps of everything he commented on and save his comments?
:* I've saved all his comment images and plan on uploading them shortly. I would guess we can just link what the image is replaying to in the gallery captions. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:35, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:* Uploaded - I had to change the format from the source GIFs since they don't play nicely with galleries. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 00:09, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
== jesus fffffffff ==
Chris has favorited over 2000 of these things. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:45, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*:Yeah, I'm not about to list those. It's pretty obvious he just hits favorite on everything he moderately likes. Still I guess I could skim them to see if any TRUE AND HONEST Sonichu fanart is in there.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 23:52, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== Holy mother of fuck, hahaha! ==

God, it's like this is all he did yesterday besides pretend the party was some kind of slo-mo rave to get underage girls at! --[[User:Eniggy|Enig-HAHAH]] 00:31, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Uh, hm. Yes, that is what happened. Thanks. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:33, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Chris has no hope of getting back to a normal life. The trolls are going to follow him and torment him until the day he dies, and he's unable to do a thing about it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 00:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

^ *Insert requiem for a dream music*--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 01:21, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Chris could very easily get back to a normal net life. The problem is, he can't help but be Chris. If he would stop signing everything and talking about himself in every post, he'd just be another guy on a forum. If you'll notice, most of his posts are either unfunny random humor that would be loss in the morass of the same or him shilling his custom content. Cut out the second and he'd fit right in. He'll never resist yelling about his Sonichu modkingdom or whatever custom thing he makes next because he's an idiot. On another note, Chris thinks that negative tone = lie given one of his quotes. I mean, no matter what sort of spin we put on it, that video of him humping a blow-up doll exists, no? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 01:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Chris doesn't seem to consider negative tone=lie. Rather, this is just an example of his tardlogic. When he says "EVERYTHING OUTSIDE THE PRE-HACKED CWCIPEDIA, MY OKCUPID PROFILE, AND MY YOUTUBE ACCOUNT IS A LIE", he expects everyone to simply ignore everything that is not on one of the sites.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:11, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
[[File:Troll Rage (Obama-style).PNG]] All five parts of it. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:38, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Sheep, man, you got this all wrong. Chris logic isn't as complex as 'negative tone = lie'. It's even more simple than that. It's 'something he disagrees with = lie'. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:05, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

And on a seperate note: Damn. You guys move fucking fast. How the hell do trolls find shit like this? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:08, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Don't tell Chris but there's a bug in his DSi. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:09, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::If that's true then DAMN does Clyde have moles in Sony ''and'' Nintendo?? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:13, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Clyde secretly is the real Shigeru Miyamoto. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:15, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

I have to agree with OFSheep, the problem with Chris is that he wants attention, and he has to PUT SONICHU EVERYWHERE, and stuff his ego into every orifice.
He will always have the unwanted attention, until he learns to stop attracting it. but he can't do that, just like chris will stop being called gay when he stops denying it by dressing up like a homo [[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 18:13, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

==Animation==
A crappy animation was just posted on Chris's FH profile, though it could be the work of trolls, so someone with more behind the scenes information should add this.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 17:38, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
*Wow, that's something an eight year old whose parents buy him twelve iPhones a year could do in a minute. I'm still waiting for Bob to finally ban him from the computer and the DSi. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:14, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
[[File:UltimateNightmareFlipnote.png|thumb|Just kinda weird, really.]]
::I dunno. It's crappy enough to be a Chris-Chan creation, but it seems like it's a step above him all the same. The whole "Really slow guy with annoying beep" is something Chris would probably consider a nightmare, sure, but I don't get why he would make this.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:51, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
::Fuck it, adding now.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:55, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
:: I'd say it's the work of trolls, compare the handwritting with the others, besides, the guy is standing on straight lines, an impossible feat for chris, and the video description is too elaborate to be chris's.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 20:01, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
*cries a bit* This is the most beautiful thing ever.... [[User:BabyNeko|BabyNeko]]
::: Do you think the trolls managed to hack into Chris's Flipnote Hatena account? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 20:09, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
:::: unless someone stole his DSi, this is chris. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:09, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
Holy fucking shit this is creepy. [[User:Pedonymous|Pedonymous]] 14:35, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
*Chris's autism just evolved to Ulillillia's level. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 18:22, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
:*I don't really think they're even close to eachother. Uilillillia's crazy, but he's the innocent sort of crazy.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:35, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
::Yes, but this just the kind of animation Ulillillia would make. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 21:39, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Not nearly enough parallax or supernaturality to be an Ulillillia animation. [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 22:21, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
*Does this remind anyone else of that Suicide Mouse video that /x/ put out there a while ago? Same concept, a thing walking on a loop with a weird, repetitive noise in the background. Except this is shitty and not creepy like the other one. ([[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 19:07, 22 June 2010 (UTC))
:*this one is also creepy, but mostly because of the annoying beep and emptyness.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 20:19, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
:**It's like David Lynch minus the artistic integrity/batshit insanity/baby puppet apparently made from a cow fetus. [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 22:21, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

==CWC Got Told==

[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D6047619382_000#535E907031CED2BB-c11539868617741172339 Comment #8] by Foxstar(id: Rashala) "Please do not post on my channel ever again". I'm looking to see what I can find that would cause him/her to say this. Anyone know?
:Nothing by foxstar is on Chris's comment list and I'm not about to go through a 3 pages and god only knows how many comments of furfag content trying to find a Chris comment that might not even exist. It's probably just some faggot begging for attention.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:29, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
::Because Chris linked his stupid video to her 4chan channel which has nothing to do with the ACTUAL 4chan since chris is a lazy so...yeah. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 15:38, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

== "Bill for Anti-Internet Bad Mouthing Campaign" ==

The "Bill" part of that just hit me. Chris wants to make talking bad about people on the internet illegal. Again.

I don't think it would be unreasonable to believe that he's gonna bring up this idea again sooner rather than later. If he does, new content for Chris and law.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:38, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

*Not only did that suck, but it was also just a quick mod to the original, much like Youtube Poops, which are still funnier than anything he's ever done. Also, [http://chrisisagaytrucker.ytmnd.com the GIF got YTMND'd.] --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 00:38, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

The really sad thing is, once again, the actual message goes completely over his head. The song basically says if you get trolled, you brought it upon yourself for being a naive retard. It's about personal responsibility, a concept alien and threatening to Chris. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 02:18, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

:Well I guess his "Internet Bad Mouthing Campaign" against the evil Mary Lee Walsh, this greedy Micheal Snyder, etc, doesn't count. He's above the law after all, of course. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 03:48, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

== New Flipnote Animation - "HippoOnYourHead" ==

Chris uploaded more random access humor on the flipnote, as evidenced [http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D7F00037B5A_000?in=user|here]http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Flipnote_Hatena&action=edit&section=6

He seems to be trying to garner ratings with his little plea at the end.
[[User:ScottBNickles|ScottBNickles]] 16:51, 24 June 2010 (UTC)ScottBNickles
:lolwut?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 16:55, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:<s>What does that message in the end mean? "Please add one green or a bunch of yellow" is that more RAH?</s> Disregard that, now i understand what it means.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 17:01, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::Where did he get "Buck Williams" from? [[User:ScottBNickles|ScottBNickles]] 17:14, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::A quick google search shows that buck williams is a basketball player and character from the Left Behind books. knowing chris' readin habits, i suppose he refers to the former.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 17:34, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::::I'm still wondering what inspired the hippo part and the letter. Possible ripoff of things he's seen on the internet or Flipnote Hanata? --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 18:05, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::[[Random-access humor]] He's been using the phrase for YEARS. he can't even have new original random access humor. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:19, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::::::I knew about that, but I have a feeling I've heard the hippo part somewhere before. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 18:27, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::::Regina E-mails. She actually calls him out on it, but he just sort of blows her off.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:05, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::::: @Eniggy Maybe Hungry Hungry Hippoes? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

== Youtube mirrors? ==

Chris's first two flipnotes could be summed up with a single screencap, and the troll song was just Chris vandalizing a few frames, but if the hippo thing is any indication, Chris has turned to his DS for all his fame-whore needs. It would be much easier to display this stuff if we could just compile them into youtube videos. Is it even possible to save these things?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:44, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oME_VeGVZo 19:13, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

== 8-Bit ==
Has anyone told this poor man that an autistic manchild has bastardized his animation and used it in his own war against trolls? He should be given a link to the CWCki at the very least. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:42, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:I started an account to post on all his things, so I or Beat or someone else might have to do this. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 22:29, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

Attraction Location

2010-06-20T14:16:19Z

Shawths: /* Attraction Locations Chris has used in Charlottesville, VA */

'''Attraction Location''' is a [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]] for any place where [[Chris]] sits passively, hoping to attract the attention of single women. Also known as "Attraction Spots." Along with his [[Attraction Sign]] and [[Axe]] body spray, use of an Attraction Location has been a crucial component of Chris's [[Love Quest]].

In practice, the Attraction Locations that Chris chooses leave him exposed to discovery by various authority figures, who take umbrage with his methods. He steadfastly refuses to abandon his post until he is either banned and/or forcibly removed from the premises. Undaunted, he would go on to find new Attraction Locations, only to be banned from them as well.

It's interesting to note that the use of these different locations marks some of the few significant milestones in Chris's life between [[2003]] and [[2008]], and even this minor change in his routine was forced upon him. It's entirely possible that if Chris had made less of a ruckus, he might still be sitting in his original Attraction Location to this day, indifferent to the years wasted in his fruitless endeavor.

==Attraction Locations Chris has used in [[Charlottesville, VA]]==

*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (until suspension on September 16, 2004)
*[[University of Virginia]] (until December 2004; briefly returned during March 2009, following [[Julie]] debacle)
*[[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] (February 2004 until banned on March 29, 2005, briefly during March 2009, May 2009 until imminent permaban)
*[[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] (until kicked out on June 20 and 22, 2005)
*[[Get-Tar Region|Target]] (until arrested and thrown out on July 20, 2005)
*[[The GAMe PLACe]] (although not primarily an Attraction Location, Chris met [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] there, and possibly considered it a good place to meet subsequent women, at least until he was banned on August 28, 2008).
*[[Fridays after Five]] Chris was seen going there in June 200 it remains to be seen how long before his stupidity leads to a banning.

==Attraction Locations Chris has used in [[Ruckersville, VA]]==

*[[14 Branchland Court]] (Since late 2008, Chris has confined his Love Quest to the Internet. While perhaps not officially an Attraction Spot, his basic technique of sitting around waiting for love to find him remains unchanged.)

Since March 2009, Chris has stated his intention to resume his Love Quest offline. This opens the possibility of new Attraction Spots, such as the new Wal-Mart being constructed in Ruckersville or returning to the UVA library.

==Attraction time==
Chris's time spent at his attraction location would be called his "attraction time." While waiting for a boyfriend free girl to approach him, he would do things such as play on his DS, watch videos on his DS, pace back and forth, sing loudly, and so forth. These activities which, obviously, were rather distracting to mall patrons (and not terribly attractive to nubile passersby), would factor into being banned from such locations.

Due to his imbalanced [[biological clock]] (typically causing him to fall asleep at about 6:30 A.M and wake closer to noon) attraction time would generally take place in the mid-to-late afternoon. This time would conveniently (and to the horror of the female patrons of Fashion Square) provide a higher concentration of potential sweethearts for Chris to harass.

[[Anna McLerran|Anna]]'s [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|The Tale of the Crazy Pacer]] is the definitive chronicle of Chris spending his attraction time, when he moved from sitting in front of [[Wikipedia:Abercrombie & Fitch|Abercrombie & Fitch]] to [[Wikipedia:Pacific Sunwear|Pac Sun]], where Anna was working at the time.

==See also==
*[[Attraction Sign]]
*[[Bagget]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Sweetheart]]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Attraction Location

2010-06-20T14:14:06Z

Shawths: /* Attraction Locations Chris has used in Charlottesville, VA */

'''Attraction Location''' is a [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]] for any place where [[Chris]] sits passively, hoping to attract the attention of single women. Also known as "Attraction Spots." Along with his [[Attraction Sign]] and [[Axe]] body spray, use of an Attraction Location has been a crucial component of Chris's [[Love Quest]].

In practice, the Attraction Locations that Chris chooses leave him exposed to discovery by various authority figures, who take umbrage with his methods. He steadfastly refuses to abandon his post until he is either banned and/or forcibly removed from the premises. Undaunted, he would go on to find new Attraction Locations, only to be banned from them as well.

It's interesting to note that the use of these different locations marks some of the few significant milestones in Chris's life between [[2003]] and [[2008]], and even this minor change in his routine was forced upon him. It's entirely possible that if Chris had made less of a ruckus, he might still be sitting in his original Attraction Location to this day, indifferent to the years wasted in his fruitless endeavor.

==Attraction Locations Chris has used in [[Charlottesville, VA]]==

*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (until suspension on September 16, 2004)
*[[University of Virginia]] (until December 2004; briefly returned during March 2009, following [[Julie]] debacle)
*[[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] (February 2004 until banned on March 29, 2005, briefly during March 2009, May 2009 until imminent permaban)
*[[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] (until kicked out on June 20 and 22, 2005)
*[[Get-Tar Region|Target]] (until arrested and thrown out on July 20, 2005)
*[[The GAMe PLACe]] (although not primarily an Attraction Location, Chris met [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] there, and possibly considered it a good place to meet subsequent women, at least until he was banned on August 28, 2008).
*[[Fridays after Five]]Chris was seen going there in June 200 it remains to be seen how long before his stupidity leads to a banning.

==Attraction Locations Chris has used in [[Ruckersville, VA]]==

*[[14 Branchland Court]] (Since late 2008, Chris has confined his Love Quest to the Internet. While perhaps not officially an Attraction Spot, his basic technique of sitting around waiting for love to find him remains unchanged.)

Since March 2009, Chris has stated his intention to resume his Love Quest offline. This opens the possibility of new Attraction Spots, such as the new Wal-Mart being constructed in Ruckersville or returning to the UVA library.

==Attraction time==
Chris's time spent at his attraction location would be called his "attraction time." While waiting for a boyfriend free girl to approach him, he would do things such as play on his DS, watch videos on his DS, pace back and forth, sing loudly, and so forth. These activities which, obviously, were rather distracting to mall patrons (and not terribly attractive to nubile passersby), would factor into being banned from such locations.

Due to his imbalanced [[biological clock]] (typically causing him to fall asleep at about 6:30 A.M and wake closer to noon) attraction time would generally take place in the mid-to-late afternoon. This time would conveniently (and to the horror of the female patrons of Fashion Square) provide a higher concentration of potential sweethearts for Chris to harass.

[[Anna McLerran|Anna]]'s [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|The Tale of the Crazy Pacer]] is the definitive chronicle of Chris spending his attraction time, when he moved from sitting in front of [[Wikipedia:Abercrombie & Fitch|Abercrombie & Fitch]] to [[Wikipedia:Pacific Sunwear|Pac Sun]], where Anna was working at the time.

==See also==
*[[Attraction Sign]]
*[[Bagget]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Sweetheart]]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Talk:Fridays After Five

2010-06-20T02:22:57Z

Shawths: /* What we can get out of this */

== To Do ==
I don't normally do this whole to do thing, but...
*<s>Get a gallery of this stuff up.
*put up the video like we have all his others.</s>
Maybe get some more background information, if we can.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:59, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:That was quick.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 20:26, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== What we can get out of this ==
These files prove that Chris is actually going to more social even its, influenced by rocky, but also we learned that he is creepy enough to wear his bra in public and he still dances like a turkey mating. Considering the bra is more like a "sign" of some sorts, could this be added into the "love quest" page?.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 01:55, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:This latest turn of events has proven that Chris trolls himself harder than anyone else ever could. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:58, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
Chris is actually going out now, huh? I think it's clear it won't work and once Chris realizes this he'll be back to his old self again. Come to think of it, we could use this video to give him a false sense of paranoia, by claiming we have people following him. This could get us a nice reaction.--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 02:10, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

You know, the last time he was out this much was during his love quest, getting his ass kicked by jerkops and manajerks in the real world. Perhaps we can start seeing something similar in the near future? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

We can hope. In the meantime I called Chris and left a message saying that the trolls are now stalking him in real life now, going with Hirro's idea to give him paranoia. I figure we can try scaring him back onto the internet. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:24, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:I also sent him an e-mail message linking to the videos recorded of him at the event with the subject stating that he was being followed. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:27, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Yay~ People liked my idea. But if we're going with it, we'll need more sightings. Also, Independence day surprise?--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 05:52, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Yes... he truly has nowhere to run now. And I hope Clyde hasn't forgotten his promise for an Independence Day surprise. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:28, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:I completely forgot about that [[User:Sinisterminister|Sinisterminister]] 04:00, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

He had better not have forgotten it. Because if he does, I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! Seriously though. We need a PS3 hacking. Soon. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:30, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

I think we should all thank our greatest operative, Rochelle Shoemaker, for this bounty of lulz.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:36, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Good thing this happened. Now to wait for him to check his e-mail, then my crazed troll plan will start... --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the Trollish]] 02:48, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

* I love how the first thing that popped into everyone's mind was "Gay Trucker"... That alone will be enough for Chris to loose his shit. On a side note, Chris now officially fails at dancing and public decency (If wearing a shirt that says "I love vagina" to a family event doesn't do it, I don't know what does) --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 22:53, 18 June 2010 (EST)
**/me waits for the cops to knock at his door... [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the HAHAHA]] 03:05, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Heh, this might have something to do with an email I sent him. I suggested he check out [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_Punk Desert Punk] It's about a lecherous twat who's obsessed with getting laid, but women find him rude and repulsive. It's got plenty of fan service though, and the main character, despite being depicted as a loser when it comes to sex, is still standard anime fare badass-goofy (like Vash the Stampede in Trigun) so it should appeal to him. There is one story element that I was hoping Chris would see and not go over his head, the introduction of the loli character. To quote the wiki article
:"Kosuna is the former apprentice of the Shimmer Sniper. Her goal is to become the desert's number one "power babe" mercenary, meaning stronger than any man and more beautiful than any woman. After the Shimmer Sniper is defeated by Kanta, Kosuna follows him and constantly begs to be made his apprentice. Kanta highly objects at first but eventually accepts her after she shows him a picture of a large breasted woman Kosuna claims to be her mother, implying how attractive Kosuna would be in years to come. Kanta, a heavily perverted guy, can't help but accept her, though his personal motives are clearly to groom Kosuna to be his personal mate when she grows up."
Sounds like building a sweetheart from the ground up, 'eh? I never got a reply, despite sending it to his gmail, aol, and youtube accounts. If he did read it and check it out, this could be indicative of his apparent courtship of little girls. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 04:51, 18 June 2010 (UTC)
:He wasn't courting little girls, the girls got near him because he had a DS and they wanted to play it too. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:54, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::In that pic, maybe. Why else would he boogie down surrounded by delicious loli while wearing his new "attraction ensemble"? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:02, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:::You're putting way too much thought into this. Chris isn't a pedophile, he's just really, really stupid and socially inept. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::::Neither was that character. Another episode had them sharing a sleeping bag the survive a cold desert night, and he freaked out. The intent is for Chris to get the idea that creating a close bond with one or a harem of loli will enable him to brainwash the little tykes into something he can fuck in a few years. The deviousness comes from the fact that Chris is incapable understanding boundaries and his idea that showing minors porn is "educational". --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:23, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Oh god, this was creepy. Spotting him amongst the crowd was like watching those 'Slender Man' videos, only it was insanely easy to find the horror. I think this proves that, when left to his own devices, Chris A) Acts more like a dumbass than ever before, or B) Gets himself into trouble with the law. I was afraid he was going to try to murder someone, but this proves he's a perfectly healthy human being. Also, I hope the little girl in the photo said 'no' when he likely offered her candy. --[[User:Inferno232|Inferno232]] 19 June 2010
::More likely, if he had any candy, he would have eaten it all himself. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 00:25, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

:You know what Chris? Stay off the internet. You're even more of a lolcow in real life. Seriously, this is hilariously creepy and awesome. Definitely add this into the Love Quest page, because his crappy "Captain Morgan" pose in multiple different places with his... bra sign... cruelly in plain sight of everyone is an obvious extension of his love search. Except I think the Gameboy and sign was slightly better for him, because at least then he could get sympathy. This is literally indecent and just disgusting. I'm a fat guy myself, and I'd never even consider just randomly taking my shirt off in a public place. Let alone if I was wearing a bra...([[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 05:58, 19 June 2010 (UTC))
::The only downside to that is someone has to be there to record him acting like a dumbass in public, or else we'd never know any of the shit he gets himself into. We lucked out this time. There's probably plenty of times he did stuff like this when noone was around to film him or take pictures of him and we'll never know unless Chris mentions it himself with plenty of bias, no doubt. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 00:30, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

== Started a video box. ==

Added the 100_0690.MOV thru 100_0692.MOV as a starter. [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the still HAHAHA]] 04:23, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

==Why show his bra?==

Clearly, Chris doesn't have any compunctions about proving to the world that he wears women's underwear because he's a retard, but being that this was clearly a family event and he was wearing a shirt about pussy, could Jerkops have made him change? Any way of knowing? —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 05:38, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

:If he keeps coming back and someone complains, it's likely the jerkops will intervene. And this time, in front of hundreds of witnesses. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 05:51, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
* I would say, with something like this, Jerkops could have gotten him to change the shirt easily, though if this was a free event, which I wouldn't be surprised at all, they probably wouldn't fully enforce it. The bra, on the other hand, is completely different. If a woman was running around in her bra, yes, they would stop her, but this is ''Chris'' we're talking about here. Since he's a guy, I'm guessing they don't see many guys running around in bras, so they wouldn't think twice.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:56, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
Can't he be charged for indecent exposure or dissorderly conduct or something?--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]]
* Probably not, since he's not actually indecently exposing anything. It's not illegal as far as I know for a man to go around shirtless, and this seems to be more of an outdoor community street fair, so I don't think policies like that can really be enforced. Even if they were, he's not technically shirtless, since he's wearing a bra. But he should definitely have to change the shirt, with so many little kids around. Well, at least it's better than the Mount and Dew Me one. Seeing as that one is a legitimately homosexual t-shirt. ([[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 06:02, 19 June 2010 (UTC))
** Yeah, in most every place I know of in the USA a man can go topless, though a woman can't. So Chris wearing a bra in public wouldn't be indecent exposure. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 23:45, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== The innocent ==

The girl's face is blocked in the cropped photo but the one in the gallery remains clear. What's the policy then? [[User:Nechita|Nechita]] 06:35, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

It's a joke--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 06:48, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== There are more photos ==

Post them all. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 10:18, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*[[CWCki:DOITFAGGOT|Get to it then]] :p. Also, we need an uncensored version of that one with the kid. Justification - 1) whoever made the set ("Archie Bunker") would have censored it if he felt like it was a concern for the child, 2) a child's privacy is probably not going to be threatened by inclusion in a picture, 3) I can't think of any troll who is obsessed enough to track down a girl who look at Chris in a picture just to get info or whatever from her. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:03, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::Also it's badly edited - looks terrible. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:45, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== Pokéwalker? ==

What the hell does he use that for?--[[User:OrsonZedd|OrsonZedd]] 14:16, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

I played a downloaded version of Heartgold so I didn't get one, but it's my understanding that you put one of your pokemon in it or onto it and when you walk around it gives the pokemon xp. So, he uses it to level up his pokemon. --[[User:Hellion|masta beta alum]] 14:29, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:According to [[Wikipedia:Nintendo_DS_accessories#Pok.C3.A9walker|Wikipedia]]:
:''The Pokéwalker is a Poké Ball-shaped pedometer which can connect to Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver game cards via infrared signals. The player can transfer a Pokémon to the Pokéwalker from either HeartGold or SoulSilver. Every time the player takes a step, the Pokémon inside gains experience points and the player earns "Watts", a type of in-game currency which was also used on the Pokémon Pikachu virtual pet. Players can also catch various Pokémon on the device and obtain items, then transfer them to the game. The device comes bundled with the games.''
--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:19, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== I can't believe it ==
Why is he wearing a manbra with writing. and WHY hasnt the police arrested him or something for doing that.
T_T The poor children are scared....especially when he dances with em, what a PEDOFORK. >.<
[[User:BabyNeko|BabyNeko]]

* As long as he isn't causing a problem with it the messages on his clothing are technically covered by the first amendment. At least if it's on public property. ---[[User:ConCat|ConCat]] 15:42, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== This is fucking hilarious ==

It's true... Chris trolls himself harder than we do.

I say we leave him off the internet for a while and observe him, see if he does more dumb shit. If not (or nothing out of the ordinary), we can always get him back with Hiiro's plan of making him paranoid. [[User:Doctor Nuriel|Doctor Nuriel]] 17:37, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*I had thoughts of sending him an email full of shots of his house from Google Maps with the Google crap cropped out along with random gay porn pictures in an attachment to him to see how scared he gets. -- [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the Cunning]] 17:51, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

==Maybe it's just me, but==
In some of these videos/pictures, when Chris is standing with his back to the crowd, it looks to me like he's sticking his ass out as far as he can. Remember, Chris thinks he has a great ass (can't remember where he said that, so if you guys know please tell me), so it wouldn't surprise me if this was an intentional ploy to get a gal-pal, though it ends up looking unnatural and creepy. Best example: [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:100_0678.JPG this image] in which he is sitting, but in a manner which to me looks incredibly unnatural. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 18:30, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

:Don't remember him saying this, but totally possible. [http://cogsdev.org/w/images/thumb/0/02/0779-CWCREAR.JPG/450px-0779-CWCREAR.JPG Pic related.] --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 18:38, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::He's definitely posing. What's more the only time he wasn't posing is when he was playing the Vidja. Every time he's trying to position himself to appear cool and relaxed, and ends up looking awkward and terrifying. I'm sure in his mind this makes him incredibly attractive to the ladies, but we all know how good Chris's mind is.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 20:29, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Isn't one effect of autism not knowing how to position yourself in a "natural" way? Chris might just fail at standing and/or posture. God knows he doesn't have much practice at either. -[[User:Schismtracer|Schismtracer]] 01:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Liquid Chris

2010-06-16T21:22:28Z

Shawths: /* So is this true? He has cancer? */

Okay, we need to separate the facts from the trolling. The joke is hilarious, but we are a wiki. At some point, we have to provide info. I gave it shot. Still needs moar pictures. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 05:49, 27 July 2009 (CEST)

----

This is just personal opinion and it's obviously going to be hard to entirely wind the gears backwards with this joke, but I think that a good way to reuse this joke when it inevitably runs its course would be to act like Chris-chan has died and that the mimic is merely assuming his place to fill the gap he would leave in all our hearts, and taking over the reigns on Sonichu in his honor. I can only imagine how Chris-chan would react to that. [[User:Evang7|Evang7]] 03:44, 30 July 2009 (CEST)

A bit esoteric for my taste, but a decent idea. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 01:00, 1 August 2009 (CEST)

----

Suggestion for the lulz: Both CWC's are TRUE and HONEST, except CChanSonichuCWC is from an alternate dimension where his parents died early, and he ended up adopted by a family that taught him about social interaction, basic hygiene, and got him professional help for his autism; so he ended up becoming eccentric-but-lovable.

Or else they're both clones from the Les Enfants Autistcs program and Chris-chan just got the short end of the gene stick (will Chris start aging early? Will CChanSonichuCWC get his arm cut off and then grafted onto Clyde Cash and take over Clyde's mind?). [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 23:18, 4 August 2009 (CEST)

==Liquid Chris==
When is it appropriate to label CChanSonichuCWC as "Liquid" Chris? [[User:Decoy Octillery|Decoy Octillery]] 06:20, 5 August 2009 (CEST)
*To differentiate from Solid Chris. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:20, 5 August 2009 (CEST)
**Cute. [[User:Decoy Octillery|Decoy Octillery]] 06:25, 5 August 2009 (CEST)
*** We need a Solidus as well then--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 01:34, 6 August 2009 (CEST)
**** I vote [http://www.commuterbarnacle.com/gonterman/ David Gonterman]. He's older than both of them, has many of the same properties, such as: he makes horrendous barely-changed-from-original-material comics and (fan)fiction (if you're a masochist, check out his [http://daveykinsfoxfire.deviantart.com DeviantART account] or google "Scarlet Foxfire"), can't draw or write to save his life, persists relentlessly despite his lack of talent, was trolled mercilessly in his prime, most likely fat and has brown hair and glasses (if that one picture floating around of him is real), and has had some 'sweetheart' troubles in the past (though not as many as CWC, but there was LilMarcieMouse, who apparently was much younger than him) .. we can always joke that "David Gonterman" is just an assumed name like how Solidus was "George Sears" ...oh, and he has the delusion that he can somehow make it commercially ''any day now''. [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 21:42, 6 August 2009 (CEST)
***** It is a good match but the said person has to be connected to Solid and Liquid.Plus we need
the rest of the cast as well.
Eva-
Otacon-
Akiba-
Meryl-
etc.--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 07:13, 7 August 2009 (CEST)
* I know it was a real tenuous connection and in retrospect it makes no sense, but it was worth a shot, lol. [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 20:23, 7 August 2009 (CEST)
::I thought it was obvious that Solidus Chris goes by the name "George W. Bush". [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 07:00, 14 August 2009 (CEST)

==Identity Theft==
Chris's hissy-fit on this issue is made all the worse by his insistence that someone wearing similar clothing and mimicking your speech impediment counts as "identity theft." I don't know much on the subject, but maybe this sign of Chris's irrational jealousy could be incorporated somehow?[[User:CDiddles|CDiddles]] 18:34, 6 August 2009 (CEST)
*Imposter Chris is just angry that the REAL AND HONEST chris is everything he wishes to be.--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 21:41, 6 August 2009 (CEST)
*Actually, does anyone know if Liquid Chris has done any kind of action whatsoever that can be considered illegal? --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 02:20, 10 August 2009 (CEST)
**Under the premise of parody, Chris can't accuse of libel. Besides Liquid's impersonation only portraits the good qualities that Chris "possesses", so it could be perjudicial to him to say "Stop that man! He is potraying me as a normal, productive member of society!". --[[User:Bystander|Bystander]] 05:40, 10 August 2009 (CEST)
::*This. Seriously, Liquid is doing Chris a favor, bringing credit to the Christian Weston Chandler name and Chris could be using this as an opportunity to tell trolls to troll the real CWC. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:31, 10 August 2009 (CEST)

==Separate Pages for Liquid's video==
While this is normally a site dedicated to the antics of Ian Brandon Anderson (erronously CWC), I think it might be useful have separate pages for CChanSonichuCWC's videos from the CWCivil War (the early videos we can just briefly mention or link to, that is pre-Ian). However, I'd like some feedback first before starting anything. Any thoughts? I suggest this since Liquid is to the best of my knowledge the first troll who has released a series of videos to which Chris has responded to (as opposed to just IMing Chris or making videos that, while my notable individuals, are not addressed by Chris or making videos that are popular involving Chris but Chris is not aware of).

Also, since I have a feeling Liquid might be deleting his videos as he's going to [[Redmond]], I'll have to ask the TheCWCvilleLibrary Archivist if she can archive Liquid's videos for posterity. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:09, 16 August 2009 (CEST)

*Liquid has just released his second video since his disappearance. If Chris reacts to it and the new video gets included, this page is going to get cluttered as new developments continue. I think the best thing to do would be to have this page be simply about CChanSonichuCWC the man, with two or three separate pages giving accounts of the various sub-sagas (Pre-Ian CWCivil War, Ian and the SingStar Challenge, and The Return of the King or whatever). Then on this page, there can be a few sections that give a brief summary of those events and then link to those main pages. [[User:Alteceastlansing|Alteceastlansing]] 05:46, 22 October 2009 (CEST)

==Idea here==

We should convince Chris-chan that CChanSonichuCWC was mistaking him for a different person who really WAS named Ian Brandon Anderson all along, and that the TRUE and REAL Ian has indeed kidnapped him. If anything I'd love to see how Chris would react to that, if at all. [[User:Evang7|Evang7]] 02:28, 17 August 2009 (CEST)

== Rewrite ==

With everything that happened in the second half of the Liquid Saga, this page could really use a rewrite.

Maybe a name change as well. "Liquid Chris" flows off the tounge much better than "CChanSonichuCWC". I mean, Vivian Gee isn't known by her YouTube screen name. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:49, 18 November 2009 (CET)

Agreed. I don't know how to rename shit, but I can update the article --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 03:26, 21 November 2009 (CET)

*I'm starting to consider a renaming as well. When the article was first created (I think I created it), I had no idea what to call it as the "Liquid" differentiation wasn't coined yet or at least not yet caught on, but since the Liquid Chris name has indeed caught on and any troll will know what you're talking about. Thoughts, people? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:18, 27 November 2009 (CET)

*Yeah, it would suit me fine, it seems to have become the conventional usage. "Liquid Chris" is easier to type when you're linking to it, too. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 00:56, 27 November 2009 (CET)

*I'm working on a rewrite here, the whole page is pretty garbled, especially by the pretty clear standards of CWCki. should we start using collapsible templates to sort shit out? (namely videos, but there are other places that would benefit too...) --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 05:11, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

== Showdown phone call ==

Would there be any objection to moving the showdown phone call to it's own page? Now that we've got a lot of phone calls on this wiki I was thinking about giving the showdown phone call it's own page and sprucing up the transcript. --[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 00:41, 8 December 2009 (CET)
*Sure. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:22, 8 December 2009 (CET)

==This article kind of sucks==
I just noticed that this article doesn't really explain who exactly Liquid Chris is, how he trolled Chris, the SingStar Challenge, etc. in any but the most general terms. Most of the length of the article is devoted to "theories" and a chatlog. I wasn't into the trolling scene at the time, and have no knowledge of the source material, so while the motto of a wiki is "so improve it, dumbass," I think I'm unqualified for the task. --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 03:17, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

===REWRITE COMMENCING===
New subheadings are in place for the basic parts of the Liquid Saga. Please help flesh them out with details, pictures, citations, quotes, etc. The [[Kacey]] article needs to be reorganized, too, because that part of the saga is big enough to warrant a separate page. --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 06:11, 18 January 2010 (UTC)
:It's already looking much better, g'job --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 02:43, 19 January 2010 (UTC)

== Why was "Theory" moved into the fan namespace? ==

I am not angry, I just want some rationale.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:51, 19 January 2010 (UTC)

*It's long and not very encyclopedic. Only the first of the six bullets is actually legit; the rest are basically fan-fic (interesting, but pulled out of somebody's ass). Parallel Dimension? Government Experiment?

:One of the big criticisms of this article was how much filler it had vs. categorized info about Liquid and the events around him. As we flesh out the story, that first bullet will be explained elsewhere. The rest of the "Theories" might otherwise just get deleted, and I thought they were fun enough to keep around. Thoughts? --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 01:59, 19 January 2010 (UTC)

==So is this true? He has cancer?==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23PEkdDE7VM&feature=player_embedded

[[user:shawths|shawths]]

Or am I being a total new fag?

Talk:6 June 2010

2010-06-11T04:09:13Z

Shawths:

Fool that I am, I think I might actually transcribe this... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 03:31, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
*I will take the second half of DIS BITCH. This is an urge I cannot control. Also what the fuck Chris is fucking stalking Snyder now goddammit.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:58, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Sorry, I finished it up before I saw your update. I sincerely apologize if you listened to any of this shit unecessarily. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 04:06, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::*You did a good job! I did do some transcribing before I realized you had finished it, but honestly I needed the practice anyway.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:03, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

== To do ==

Add Michael Synder's comment from YouTube that sparked this (see Da update for it). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:32, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
* Done. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 04:29, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

== Rename dis bitch ==
If a video does not have a proper name, you name it after the date it went up. This should be "6 June 2010". What is so goddamn hard about this?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:00, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
*Whathisname usually figures out how to treat shit, that's why I named it that. That's why. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:02, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Now that I know Champ made the page, I feel bad about my first comment.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:03, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::*You are forgiven, my son. Happens to the best of us.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:21, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

==I'LL RUN YOU OVER DEAD==

This is the second time that we know of that Chris has tried to commit vehicular homicide. I get the feeling that at this rate, he's going to get himself <s>v@</s> V& by the end of the year. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 07:40, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Chris is going to be vat'd, huh? -[[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 10:00, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::*Probably. They need to do ''something'' to get the stank out of him. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 10:44, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*Still - this is only one version of the events. For all we know he could be exaggerating the entire situation - but I like to think we get the TRUE and HONEST version of events sometimes. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 12:23, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

==Add to relevant article?==
"Right, if I had the right mind, I would send, I would give him a charge of verbal, serve him a charge of verbal harassment!"
This right after he tried to take a picture of some guy to use as a dartboard, drove (presumably) drunk, took pictures without the person's consent, nearly ran two people over, and then thought he could bitch about it on the internet. Is this Chris and Law or Chris and Reality? [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 14:56, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

The key theme here is that it's innocent behavior when Chris does it. I suggest Chris and Hypocrisy or Examples of Chris's Ego.
[[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 15:01, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
Although this definitely merits mention on Chris and the Law as well, as prime evidence of his mentality that the law is not meant for punishing him in any circumstance. [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 15:04, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
*Not to mention Death Threats.--[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 11:25, 7 June 2010 (EST)

==Stalking==

According to Wikipedia, which is always right, "[s]talking can be defined as the willful and repeated following, watching, and / or harassing of another person." Chris has been banned from the The GAMe PLACe. He's gone back repeatedly, each time being told to leave and never come back. He admitted to planning to go willfully back this time in order to watch and photograph Michael Snyder. It's not necessarily a crime, but it does seem to constitute stalking by a reasonable definition. I just think it should be noted that it's not just troll puffery to call it that. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 16:54, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Considering Chris's history of holding grudges against people he considers "enemies", him stalking people "offending" him is not out of the question. --[[User:DrunkenDemomang|DrunkenDemomang]] 04:06, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==Snyder's input==

Any chance we can get a hold of Mike and get his side of the story? He might appreciate it too if we got that and put it up here so everyone and his grandmother doesn't call and ask him. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 17:07, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:I sent him a message on Youtube, if I get a response (unlikely) I'll screencap it and add it to the article. If anyone knows a more direct way to contact him, it would be great to get the whole story from him.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 19:40, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::Perhaps Mimms or Lucas would know a way of getting ahold of him. Of course, you'd need to get ahold of Mimms or Lucas first, but that would seem to be an easier feat considering their past cooperation with certain websites. --[[User:shearod|shearod]] 22:36, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::I'm in the process of asking Mimms if he knows anything about this. I'll post what I find. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 23:13, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*Mimms doesn't know, but he said he can ask Michael. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 02:12, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==At the bar with a Bud and a DS==

I was re-reading the transcript of the video when these little things starting nagging me; who goes in a bar with a DS and why it sounds oh-so-familliar coming from Chris? Then, I had an insight; is there a possibility that Chris found in bars a new prowling ground for his "Love-Quest"? He had the same attitude at the local McCrap and Target but without the alcohol.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:11, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Maybe he's taking his parent's approach of meeting da ladies. After all, Barb and Bob met at a bar. -[[User:DrunkenDemomang|DrunkenDemomang]] 16:25, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::Maybe he'll finally meet his sweetheart at the same age as Bob, when both parties out out of their prime and desperate enough. Of course, it would take a ''really'' desperate girl to get with Chris. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 20:29, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Don't be silly. Chris won't live anywhere near as long as Bob has so far. I predict he'll die of a heart attack in his mid fifties. Maybe forties. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:41, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::::I'm also guessing 40. He eats fast food every day and he does nothing but sit on his ass. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:17, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::That's not true. Sometimes he stands up to play Guitar Hero and threaten the internet. -[[User:Schismtracer|Schismtracer]] 15:29, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==Made up at the spot?==
Does anyone else think Chris's story sounds like it was made up at the spot at some parts? --[[User:Shotaru|Shotaru]] 23:27, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:Chris is a pathological liar, so I wouldn't put it past him. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:34, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:I doubt it. We have that post from June 4th by someone claiming to be Snyder saying Chris was taking pictures of him. Although I doubt Chris's testimony about what happaned especially after Micheal came out of the Game Place its right there his voice gets higher to the point where I can tell he is lying.
::Lucas and Mimms said that TheRcholic is indeed Mike way back when [[100 2178]] was uploaded. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 02:05, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:::I think most of what he's saying here is true, or at least the general concept. That said, if I had a daughter, and I saw someone like Chris hanging around with a camera, you had better believe I would assume the worst.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:27, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:Chris is a bad liar. There's way too much details. He was drinking ONE beer at a local bar with his DS and a camera for ONE hour. Then, he decided ON THE SPOT to go take a picture of Michael for an inexistent dartboard? My bullshit detector was on the red right passed time 1:34. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:03, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Well then, mine broke. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 03:13, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==Robotnik==

I haven't played any Sonic games since ''Sonic & Knuckles'', but, by Chris's own admission, pretty much what happened is that he was sneaking around doing something he shouldn't, jumped into a machine to try to beat the good guy, and ultimately failed. Not to mention that his torso is really fat and round and his limbs are really skinny. It just seems to me that Chris is getting more and more like Dr. Robotnik as time goes on. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 07:34, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
*So he'll say "I'MMMMMMM STRAIIIIIIGHT YOU TROLLLLLSSSS!" every time we win? Awesome.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 08:57, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:: Yeah, kinda like that. And eventually he'll get fed up of going after <s>Sonic</s> the trolls by himself and build two humorously incompetent robot henchmen. Except by "building," I mean "inflating," and the robots are actually his blow-up dolls Kimmi and Officer Nasty.

:: Hey, Clyde's hair is even spiky. Just dye it blue and you have an instant hero. Maybe Liquid can be Tails or something, I dunno. It would be just like AoStH, except "Robotnik" has no wacky schemes, isn't really actively pursuing destroying the hero, and has a fucking terrible singing voice. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 09:37, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

:::As opposed to the real Robotnik, who sings like an Angel. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:33, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

::::A lot like [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvyvwoi6mrw Long John Baldry], actually. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 01:15, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

:::Make it so, number two. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 16:38, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

::::Ta-da.
[[Image:Dr Chris Chan.png|left|150px]][[Image:Sonic Clyde Cash.jpg|center|200px]]--[[User:Yoyoddd|Yoyoddd]] 10:19, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

Put these images in the fanart section immediatly! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:15, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

I wish Chris was still taking fanmail. Maybe an innocent seven-year-old fan would mail it claiming Chris reminded him of Robotnik or something. I'm sure that would put him in a minor fit. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 21:11, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

==Police Report==
There must be one. I don't know any free service to get the record, but if anyone does, toss it up. Alternatively, if someone is willing to use a pay service to get at it, it might make somebody here love you. Not me though. --[[User:Homeless prophet|Homeless prophet]] 17:46, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
* Keep an eye on [http://www.criminalsearches.com/details.aspx?id=w1x00xC8&vw=criminal&1=IgL6lgJ0ciJdZHqNItwC9IIt79kNs2z0bXy0js2l1aI%3d&input=name this page]. It has Chris's other crimes, so it may be updated later. [[User:HermanoBluth|HermanoBluth]] 19:58, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
::Thanks Bluth, I'll be watching that. But there should be a document written by a police officer that details the entire incident from the perspective of that officer. I think that might do a lot to give a clear image of what happened, since all we've got is a few words from Michael (who didn't give much detail, and may not be totally correct) and a video from Chris (who is pretty okay with lying, and regardless is a poor communicator). The records are sorted by place and time, not name, but should be pretty trackable. The only issue is that I think you need access to a paid database to collect the record if you're outside the jurisdiction. I'm not 100% sure though, since I've never gone looking for one. If somebody knows how to find the record, that would probably make the entire situation ''much'' clearer. --[[User:Homeless prophet|Homeless prophet]] 17:03, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

==Am I the only one that noticed this?==
I noticed the absence of not only the medallion but also the amnyfest ring. Usually this means that this isnt TRUE and HONEST content, right? Or is there some other mitigating circumstance? I am not going to edit the article to highlight this as I doubt that no one hasnt noticed these things missing. I am just interested on you guys' take on this. Thoughts? [[User:Wozblod|Wozblod]] 20:59, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Good eye! I missed this detail.--[[User:DrunkenDemomang|DrunkenDemomang]] 21:30, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
::*Neither have the past two videos before this. Either that means the past two videos (effectively both internet rage quits, and we can see how honest those were) were all lies, or it's part of his newer, more-"mature" (if you can call it that) image, what with the less retarded clothing. I think the latter is more likely, although the former would make sense. I just doubt Chris actually plans things like that. And given his frequent tendency of lying, he'd probably label blatant lies as True and Honest anyway. --[[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 04:10, 9 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*I think someone in the YASG briefed him on the cock-blocking power of the medallion. So, in the effort of cosplay Marco Polo, he removed the piece of clay and replaced it by his own brand of "Trailer Chic". [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:10, 10 June 2010 (UTC)
== A Warning...Really? ==

Did the cops seriously let Chris off with a warning? Were they not informed beforehand about his previous troubles with Chris? I was absolutely furious to hear that Chris was let off the hook again. --SpaceScreaminJohn 00:49, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

He's got three priors so the police know him. And they what we know; he's too weak to cause people real harm. Still, he's dangerous behind the wheel. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 00:56, 9 June 2010 (UTC)
*Those three priors were five years ago. Plus, anyone who sees Chris can tell that he has some sort of mental problem--Wes always thought he had Downs, for example. If Bob and Barb are any indication, Charlottesville is surrounded by lawsuit happy rednecks and the cop wouldn't have a chance in court--and even then such a scandal would ruin their career, they'd always be "that monster who busted a poor retarded guy". Really, the warning was the best thing they could do. If Chris winds up doing something stupid again this year, they'll probably come down on him a bit harder.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:18, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

== He mentioned two trolls to the officers ==

Which two get the honor, I Say Clyde and tito

== Has Chris crossed the line? ==
If he's really tried to kill Michael, is it possible this has stopped being funny and started being scary?
-Sarge 13:33 10 June 2010.
* God damn, guys, stop being so melodramatic. This shit isn't scary, and no matter what he does, he will never achieve an action which is scary. You guys need to get off the internet more. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 12:37, 10 June 2010 (UTC)
* He tried to hit someone with a car.
:*Sign your posts guys. It's just 4 ~ in a row, not that hard. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 15:17, 10 June 2010 (UTC)
* Chris is a first-class pussy. I think he tried to do so but became skittish at the last second. I still think he might hit someone on a 'Tard-Rage moment but this wasn't the case. As far as I can say, Chris's stalking habits raised many red flags even before I have heard that he owns a car. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:13, 10 June 2010 (UTC)

=="Fiddle" the cats==

Just for the artixcles sake can we find who started this latest little rumor that seems to be getting Manchild a bit annoyed? [[User:Shaths|Shawths]]

Talk:100 2189

2010-06-09T02:49:00Z

Shawths: /* Next Video? */

Transcribe, BITCH, etc. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 22:12, 31 May 2010 (UTC)
:I'll take it --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 22:23, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

''"You can quit pestering my friends"''

You don't have any friends, you freak of nature! --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:40, 31 May 2010 (UTC)
*I want to know what he means by that--is that something the FAs say whenever they try to get him back online?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:42, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
::Someone on /cwc/ said that this was an indirect way of referring to Rocky, and he is afraid to mention her name because he believes that the trolls have some sort of internet Death Note. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:03, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
::*If we assume "friends" is code for "Rocky", then this means that Rocky is already being phonespammed by ED/flooded with email tons of times. How Chris knows about it is hard to discern--either Rocky complained or Rocky tried to play the sympathy card("LOOK AT THE SACRIFICE I'M MAKING FOR YOU"). Sympathy card is more probable. I'm going to check the other mentions of "friends" he's made recently too. Also, by "friends" he could also mean his parents.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:55, 1 June 2010 (UTC)

==Music==
What is he listening to? --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 23:03, 31 May 2010 (UTC)
*Sounds almost like Sheryl Crow... --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 23:10, 31 May 2010 (UTC)
: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrgKzYiIwlM Colbie Caillat - Fallin' for You] --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:14, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

==Wow==
You can tell he's really trying not to say that he "gave up" Cwcipedia, even though he ends up saying it twice. I wonder if that's because he realises that his copyrights were tied to it. Still, stupid manchild, etc. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:45, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

==Recorded in his kitchen?==
Note the Christmas Tree and visible sunlight in the background. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 20:28, 31 May 2010 (EST)
:Yes. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 00:32, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
:He says in the house tour video that they keep the tree up year round. I'm guessing that this is a practical move since there's no difference between storage space and living space in the house. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 01:28, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
:That's not Bob in the background, is it? --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 11:16, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
==Next Video?==
So how long till we see another vide would you say? I give it a five days.[[User:Shawths|Shawths]]
*Let's just see it that way; it's the first time Chris mentions Sonichu in his videos since 21 March 2010. I think Rocky's influence is slipping. Besides, two videos in three days and both had a link with the CWCipedia. I am ready to bet an old 5$ bill we will have a new video in 2-4 days and a 'Tard Rage video within two weeks. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:29, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
*A week at most. Chris has surprised us before by going quite awhile without making a video but never bitched about it. He may be doing this to reassure himself but it won't be long before he's back. This is what, the third or fourth time he's "quit" the internet this year? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 03:30, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
*Personally I'm thinking one of two outcomes. In the first outcome, he explodes into a violent rage tomorrow, complete with webcam abuse and the claw of fail, possibly a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha, screaming something completely incomprehensible about Alec and a large bowl of goat shit. On the second outcome, he lasts three days and then uploads something entirely retarded about Family Guy with only a minor acknowledgement towards the CWCipedia situation, possibly none at all. Also, did he really sign over his rights for Sonichu with the CWCipedia? I'd love to read the terms and conditions of the agreement. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 03:49, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
*Sonichu was "copyrighted" as "work for hire", which means that when the CWCipedia "hired" Chris, he gave them the rights to Sonichu. By abandoning the site known as "CWCipedia" in any form, he abandoned Sonichu and the CWCipedia sold the rights to Alec, who paid Vivian to host her comic there.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:02, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
*Well he ,made it seven days of coursein that time he almost commited vehicular homicide. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

==Author Created: 2-D Artwork==
wait, what does this mean, chris sent in a single picture titled sonichu to be copyrighted? [[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 04:15, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
*In response to SenorTucan's question and confirmation of MoarLurk's statement: got to the Cwcipedia. They have the copyright papers up there that list the copyright as "Work for hire." --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 04:37, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
*That's what it looked like to me too: Chris sent some picture and got a registration for it. Chris is no lawyer, so while he technically did get ''a registration'' of copyrights, we have no bloody idea ''what he submitted'' and hence what he actually registered. He sent ''something'' to the copyright office and got back a registration. Now he's under the delusion that this piece of paper is an official confirmation that he has the rights to all things Sonichu, past, present and future. And, as said, it was listed as work for hire, which needed some light too. If this would go into actual court, Chris would have ''a lot'' of futile explaining to do. (But then again, so would Alec: the ''real'' Sonichu rights holder is still Sega+Nintendo.) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 07:43, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
**At least Alec on the other hand can stand on the grounds that his work is an actual parody. Though, as was pointed out elsewhere, we don't know what your legal standing is if you parody something that was already plagiarised. Whatever trouble Alec could get into though is nothing compared to Chris. Chris has ripped off all these franchises for years in an non parodic manner, proclaimed himself to be the true and original creator of it, and tried to register copyright for the shameless ripoff he created. And he's declared intentions to sell this crap several times. In short: Chris is fucked. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 13:06, 1 June 2010 (UTC)

Talk:6 June 2010

2010-06-08T01:16:36Z

Shawths: /* Made up at the spot? */

Mumble 3

2010-06-03T21:55:24Z

Shawths: /* 01:31:18 Clyde Is Crazy */

'''Mumble 3''' is the third of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]]. The date it was held is unknown, but it was before the 10th of February.

Length: '''2:51:34'''

== Synopsis ==

__NOTOC__The third Mumble chat begins with with small talk between Chris and [[Julie]], punctuated by loss of audio in places, macaroni cheese, money and passwords. [[Clyde]], at this point, is flashing in and out of the conversation, without actually making an appearance until the later stages. Molvania has been destroyed, it turns out. Julie almost blows her cover a couple of times while referring to 'Cameron', who seems to continuously [[Rosechu|change gender]]. We also discover that all of Chris's female creations think that he’s handsome, just like [[Snorlax|Barb]] does. This would appear to be the reason why he [[love quest|can’t understand why he’s single]]. Clyde makes a cameo appearance. Julie is getting paranoid, believing that Clyde is out to get her, and she wants Chris to protect her. Chris seems unworried by Julie voicing her fears about a knife wielding Clyde Cash coming to get her, even when she is sure he's out side her house. Julie and Chris agree to take each other's virginity and imagine their first time together. Chris promises to try hard not to prematurely ejaculate. Clyde appears and reveals he's heard everything. The two threaten and try to psychoanalyze each other. Clyde denigrates Chris's existence and questions in detail how he'll support Julie or even himself, casting serious doubt on Chris's life skills. Clyde forces Chris to make [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|a video saying that he's gay]], threatening to harm Julie if he doesn't.

== Summary ==

The chat is quite long, weighing in at nearly two and a half hours, and is one of the longest Mumble chats. It is unknown how the trolls kept Chris on for so long.

Chief talking points are as follows:

* Chris and Julie log for a private chat. There appears to be some problem with the audio cutting out.
* Julie blames the global financial crisis for her not being able to visit. Chris accepts this.
* Small talk: Julie is a very good cook. Julie has her Sonichu Girls password back.
* Julie wants to talk about their relationship.
* Julie fucks up, tipping off Chris that she's a troll. She excuses the mistake on her bad English.
* Chris wants to Google Molvanîa (something he should have done ages ago), but Julie fast-talks him out of it.
* Julie explains that Molvanîa has been destroyed.
* Julie changes the subject and asks about how Virginia is.
* A wild Clyde Cash appears, then disappears without saying a word.
* Chris's alarm goes off, ruining his train of thought. He performs no other action, so presumably the alarm was to remind him to be even more forgetful than usual.
* Julie asks about Chris's parents. He says they are fine.
* Chris drops spoilers about the upcoming Sonichu.
* They talk music. Julie loves Alizée. Chris likes all music, but especially [[Britney Spears]].
* Clyde returns again, but again leaves without saying anything.
* Julie asks Chris if he is attracted to Rosechus. Chris answers by saying [[Chris and reality|they are attracted to him]].
* Chris believes he is handsome but doesn't know why he doesn't have a girlfriend. He says this to Julie, his sweetheart.
* Chris pesters Julie to come visit him, without offering to assist her in anyway.
* Clyde speaks, demanding to know why Chris hasn't killed him yet.
* Chris bitches to Cogs, saying among other things that he can draw romance well, dating education, and how he shouldn't be held accountable for including pornography in a children's comic because he does what he wants to do.
* Chris says he might include more non-Sonichu characters in Sonichu.
* In Molvania men come to the womens houses first, which Chris deludes himself into believing happens frequently in the USA as well.
* Julie is worried that Clyde might rape her like he did to Panda.
* Julie thinks she sees 'someone asian' outside her house. She is worried it might be Clyde. Chris says he'd be scared too.
* Julie is sure someone's outside her house. Chris tells her to try not to think about it.
* There's pounding on Julie's door. She investigates; it's a salesman. Chris gives a relieved, crazed laugh.
* Almost immediately, they begin idle banter about cars.
* Chris, possessing all the subtlety of the raging inferno that was the Hindenburg in its final moments, suggests that he and Julie engage in cybersex.
* Chris believes that Panda is gone and that he should immediately move on.
* Chris admits that it's possible he will prematurely ejaculate. The prospect unsettles him some.
* Julie and Chris discuss their first time. Terrible, unmentionable things occur as they go into detail, moving into full on cybersex. Chris concedes it's probable that he'll prematurely ejaculate on his first time.
* Chris lies about his penis size. See accompanying image.
* Chris explains that his semen will taste like strawberries, since he's been eating lots of them in preparation.
* Chris drops his phone number. Yet again.
* Julie AFKs out. At least one troll quietly slips into giggles.
* Julie returns. They discuss Chris's parents.
* Julie tries to white-knight Chris. [[White Knight|It ends with the usual amount of fail]].
* Julie has a plan to get Chris to Redmond. Chris wants to go, but desperately doesn't want to expend any money, effort, time or thought into the process or even leave his house.
* Clyde returns. He reveals he was lurking under the name of his [[Vivian Gee|cousin]]. He has heard everything.
* Clyde threatens Julie. Chris threatens Clyde.
* Chris stands up Clyde for a bit. Clyde lays the smackdown, saying Chris's logic makes no sense. It doesn't.
* Clyde threatens Julie with Russian Roulette. Chris shows that he doesn't know anything about how the game works.
* Chris and Clyde argue about who is crazier. [''Spoiler: Chris.'']
* Clyde reveals his backstory.
* Chris won't leave his shitty landfill for any reason.
* Chris tries to invoke Trolls Remorse in Clyde, which doesn't work.
* Chris displays immense hypocrisy throughout the whole third quarter of the chat.
* Chris watches Sex in the City.
* Clyde tells Chris he doesn't have autism, bringing up the Wikipedia article to prove it. Chris is stunned into silence, finally admitting that high functioning autism isn't a real thing.
* Chris gives a list of his cooking and cleaning qualifications, going into specific detail about how to empty bins, load a washing machine, clean cat poo and clean up an overflowing commode.
* Clyde laughs.
* Clyde argues against the brick wall that is Chris's mind.
* Clyde has a job.
* Chris believes that he is [[Chris and his ego|simultaneously overqualified for almost any position imaginable]] and a [''jack of all trades, master of none''], to such an ludicrous extreme that he is unsuitable [[wendy's|even for minimum wage work.]]
* Clyde frigging flips out, blowing his stack.
* Chris babbles about how [[Rocky]] is helping him but is unable to list any specifics, mentioning a Dr. Price.
* Chris STILL doesn't know why [[Megan]] got upset, even though Clyde literally screams the answer at him.
* Chris ripped up the original [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|pic She Came For CWC]], saying he keeps the remains in a crumple-lope (''presumably a crumpled-envelope'').
* Chris blames his homophobia on the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Principle of Nathanael Greene Elementary]].
* Chris says he never said he hated homosexuals, an outright lie. Clyde goes spastic.
* Clyde finally gets to the point: Chris must make [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|a video]] where he admits to being gay. In exchange, Clyde won't dismember Julie. Chris initially declines.
* Under pressure from Julie, Chris takes a very long time to FINALLY decide that he will make the video, even after Clyde reminds him he can just make [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|a second video after to say that the first was blackmail and that he's straight.]]
* Clyde notes that he is about to get banned, so leaves.
* Some guy comes along and Chris discusses what happened.
* Chris gets Julie to agree to taping their first time and uploading it to YouTube.
* Chris goes off to make [[For Julie's Eyes Only|the video]]. The trolls burst out laughing; JulieSpike sings Still Alive from Portal.

== Transcript ==

==== 00:00:00 Introduction, Audio Fail ====

'''Chris:''' There we are. [''Random background noise''] Hmm now... What now? Oh.

'''Julie:''' Hi Chris!

'''Chris:''' Hello.

'''Julie:''' Ho- [''audio cuts out'']

'''Chris:''' Uh, say that again? You kinda broke up there.

'''Julie:''' Hold on, let me adjust my mic- [''cuts out again'']

'''Chris:''' Oh! It's you!

'''Julie:''' [''muted''] Yes of course!

'''Chris:''' Huh.

'''Julie:''' [''Pause''] So how are you Chri- [''More audio failure'']

'''Chris:''' I'm okay Julie, how are you?

'''Julie:''' I'm wonderful, thank you. Everything at home o-

'''Chris:''' Everything's Okay- Everything's Okay at home. Uh, I mean It's only I think that was you asked-yeah. I know you just bought that mike but it seems to be failing at points. Oh well.

'''Julie:''' Uh, let me configure it really- [''cut''] Maybe I can increase the vol- [[''cut''].

'''Chris:''' If anything you might have to close it and relog back then to up after you get it configure correctly. I mean order-or-or to get to configure it correctly.

'''Julie:''' Well actually I did that, I logged back in after I configured it- [''cut'']

'''Chris:''' Oh. Well you should carry speaker a little longer there (?)

'''Julie:''' So- [''cut'']

'''Chris:''' [''Aggravated''] ''Sigh.'' Broke up again. [''Pause''] I mean you can tell when you're breaking up because you look at the you-your lips up next to your name on the thing here and you kinda get greyed out, and that means you're- that's kinda like when you get cut off. [''Pause''] Or when you're done speaking.

'''Julie:''' hey I, oh I think I know what you- Is it better now-

'''Chris:''' You got cut off again.

'''Julie:''' That's weir-

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I don't know either. You just got it- you just installed it so uh, hmm. This is like first install jitters, or something. I dunno.

'''Julie:''' Is it better now?

'''Chris:''' I heard your, eh, eh, Yeah. I mean, I was able to hear you clearly until the points where you got cut of so uh, uh, yeah. I mean, yeah, you know, try saying something longer and I'll let you know if you get cut off mid-sentence.

'''Julie:''' I hope this microphone does not cut out as that would be horrible.

'''Chris:''' Alright, I got- I had your full sentence there. I heard ya. I heard ya.

'''Julie:''' Alright, that is good-

'''Chris:''' Huh. You got cut off again.

'''Julie:''' That's weird, I don't know what could be causing it. I turned off everything else that was using the connection.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well we just, well- it's best to try to make the best- make the best of it. So you know, uh, I'll try to understand you up- I mean- until the points, I mean the points- I mean, as best as I can even if you get- even if you might get cut off sometime. But anyway it's-

'''Julie:''' I'm sorr- I'm sorry about that.

'''Chris:''' That's okay. Hmm. So uh, how are you?

==== 00:04:14 [[chris and money|Money]], Jobs ====

'''Julie:''' I'm wonderful! Things in America are wonderf-

'''Chris:''' Yep, I hear that. I'm just sorry about uh, the rising cost of things due to the economic crisis and all.

'''Julie:''' Yes, it's very hard on me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright so, uh tell me- so you said you were uh working at fast food or something to uh, earn money?

'''Julie:''' Yes, I'm working at restaurants. I'm a professional cook. Sorry. My English is still bad.

'''Chris:''' You said you were a professional cook?

'''Julie:''' I am professional at cooking.

'''Chris:''' Oh, that's good. Maybe after you come over here I could try a little bit of your cuisine for uh... lunch or dinner.

'''Julie:''' Yes, I would enjoy that.

'''Chris:''' I mean, mostly I just uh warm up a TV dinner, but you know I am able to uh, cooking things- uh, cooking things for my- cooking things for myself when I have the instructions in front of me and the ingredients. But it's kind of, like hmm, you know, [[Tour of Chris's House|a bit crowded in my kitchen in here]].

==== 00:05:30 Food ====

'''Julie:''' What's your favorite thing to eat?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I like, mostly like [[Obesity|mac and cheese]].

'''Julie:''' I'm very good at cooking.

'''Chris:''' I'll take your word for it. And I'll look forward to uh, trying your-

'''Julie:''' [''Interrupting''] I'll be right back, sorry.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

[''brief pause'']

'''Julie:''' I'm back.

==== 00:05:59 Lost Passwords ====

'''Chris:''' Okay. Let's- anyway you didn't answer my question how'd uh, did your passwo- how'd you get your password back after the previous time your brother changed it on ya?

'''Julie:''' Actually um, he actually just put it back to the original last. I'm not sure if he's gonna give it back this time, however.

'''Chris:''' Um. Hmm. Has he told you uh, me- he's probably just doing it just to annoy you but uh, maybe he- maybe uh, maybe he like, I don't know his mindset but maybe he wants something?

'''Julie:''' Perhaps.

'''Chris:''' I mean like did you ask him like, did you ever ask him like why did you change my password other than just to annoy me? What is it that you want?

'''Julie:''' I actually don't know why he chang- [''cut off again'']

'''Chris:''' It's like if you- [''Julie interrupts, brief pause''] It's like you got to try get into his head a little bit.

'''Julie:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' Like, you know, one thing you could do, you could, check out his room, see if you can find anything he's written down or look at, you know, look a clues in his room that describes him. Maybe you could, find something- find something there that uh, you can put in- put in common terms with or whatever, and uh, give him something that uh, makes him feel good from somewhere among those clues.

'''Julie:''' [''Enthusiastic''] Yes I could do that! That's a very good idea!

'''Chris:''' I mean, [[Chris's Room|my room]] is a slew of big clues. [''Chris pronounces "slew" as "slow"'']

'''Julie:''' Yeah.

[''Windows beeping'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah so uh... what else do you want to talk about?

==== 00:08:07 About Our Relationship... ====

'''Julie:''' Umm, I'm not really sure. Maybe we could talk about- I'm not sure. Maybe our relationship?

'''Chris:''' [''Sudden intake of breath, as though wincing in pain''] Oooh. Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Should I- Should I not bring this up?

'''Chris:''' No, it's okay, it's okay. [''Pause''] Mmm. Ummm. Yeah. I mean I'm just trying to think about what- what's a good- what's a, something to say at the moment. I mean you don't know what to say, you could say [[Mary Poppins|Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious]].

'''Julie:''' Ah. Have you heard from my friend Cameron Van- you know Cameron yet? Have you heard from him yet?

'''Chris:''' Ahh, Cameron?

'''Julie:''' Yes. [''Realizing error''] Oh. Her. Sorry.

'''Chris:''' Oh. Uh, possibly is that uh, Is that- I dunno is that like your aunt, still over in [[Molvanîa|Molvanîa]].

'''Julie:''' Well, I have unfortunate news about Molvanîa. It- it appears to have been destroyed. I know that sounds strange, but, I don't know what happened. I'm very worried.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Maybe I can find something on the-

'''Julie:''' I miss my hometown.

'''Chris:''' I hear ya. Hang on, I'll uh, I'll Google Molvanîa, see if I can-

'''Julie:''' [''Backpedaling''] no, that's alright, I'm pretty sure I know what happened.

'''Chris:''' Oh. Uh, tell me in your own words what you think happened.

'''Julie:''' I don't know, It's just, I think the dictator of Molvanîa, I think he was assassinated,

'''Chris:''' The dictator was assassinated.

'''Julie:''' I'm not sure. As far as I heard from Cameron before he- I lost all contact with him.

'''Chris:''' [''Incredulous''] You mean her, don't you?

'''Julie:''' Sorry, I keep getting confused, my English is awful. I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' It's okay, you're trying. You're doing- you're doing okay.

'''Julie:''' Thank you very much.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' I think I'd like to talk about something else. I, you know.

'''Chris:''' That's fine, talk about anything.

==== 00:10:40 How's Virginia? ====

'''Julie:''' So, how's [[Virginia]]?

'''Chris:''' It's okay. Uhh, you know, it's a good place to live. As, especially going out to [[Charlottesville]] and uh, whatnot, but it's okay.

'''Julie:''' Oh, that sounds wonder-

'''Chris:''' I mean, I can't, I mean I don't know what much to say, but uh, you know [[Bob|my Father]] could tell you, oh yeah, Virginia's a historic town, cuz, you know we got all the history from like, Thomas Jefferson and, oh yeah, the Monticello.

'''Julie:''' What do you like to do in Virginia?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. What Do I like to do in Virginia? Hmm. I dunno [''nervous laugh''] Been living in Virginia pretty much all my life so, pretty much just living my normal life at this point. Other than- other than that I can't really say, you know?

'''Julie:''' Can you tell what that includes? I really want to know what your life is like, I would love to know.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Ahh, let me think about that. My life is like, uh...

==== 00:12:02 A Wild Clyde Cash Appears! ====

'''Julie:''' Oh no!

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Julie:''' I see [[Clyde Cash|Clyde's]] here. Uh oh.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Julie:''' Oh well, let's just ignore him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It's like uh, he seems to be under the "Inactive" area.

'''Julie:''' Yeah no one can hear us here.

'''Chris:''' Oh, and uh, here's a note, it says that Clyde left the channel.

'''Julie:''' Oh, that's good.

'''Chris:''' In the left column here. Hmm. Don't really, I mean, don't really have much on my mind uhh, right now, let me see. Ah, mostly I've just been uh, collecting my thoughts and taking my time. You know, recovering from the internet, from the [[stress]] of the, the stress of the internet and whatnot.

'''Julie:''' Yes, the internet can be a very stressful place, especially with all these [[jerks]] trying to make you mad.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah it can be very tiring is- yep. Very tiring.

'''Julie:''' You should stand up to them sometime. You should just tell them you're not going to take it anymore.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I think I, I pretty much do that, just like you know, like, I keep my cool- I kept my- pretty much kept my cool and not so much- [''Chris's cell phone alarm goes off''] Excuse me.

==== 00:03:40 Alarms Are Distracting... ====

'''Julie:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' That was my phone, reminding me of, er, just a reminder.

'''Julie:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' Uh, lost- lost my train of thought there.

'''Julie:''' Awww.

'''Chris:''' Don't you just hate that where you lose your train of thought and it's hard to recover?

'''Julie:''' Yeah. I hate it so much.

'''Chris:''' I- yep I- I hear you there.

==== 00:14:12 Bob and Snorlax ====

'''Julie:''' So, so how is your life? I mean, are things with your parents okay? I would love to hear.

'''Chris:''' Mmm, you know, uh, can't complain. It's uh, not to- not totally bad. It's okay. I mean, uh, it's-

'''Julie:''' Is your father giving you trouble again?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Uh not so much lately. Uh, I had to go downtown with him to get his pacemaker checked.

'''Julie:''' Oh, I hope he's okay.

'''Chris:''' D'awright.

'''Julie:''' How's [[Snorlax|your mother]]?

'''Chris:''' She's alright.

'''Julie:''' I heard her singing, what was it, [[Mumble 2|yesterday]]? She's a very good singer.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. You know I told her that, uh, you know. Y'all- Y'all on the Mumble here heard her singing and they gave you a compliment it's like you know, "Oh, I can't sing, I'm tone deaf. They're just lying to try to make you feel good." Just a little um, just a little mod- just a little modesty there. From her point.

'''Julie:''' Everything I said about her awesome singing. I- I- It was a hundred percent true Chris, I assure you.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I know. I mean, I think she- I think she's a great singer too.

'''Julie:''' As do I.

'''Chris:''' Sorry, could you repeat that, what was that?

'''Julie:''' As do I, I agree with you.

'''Chris:''' Oh, as do you. That's what you said. Hm. It sounded like you said somethings, it sounded like you said "something, something why". Heh.

'''Julie:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, like, I dunno, heh. Could be asking a question like, "Why, blahdah blahda". But never mind about that. I mean, I mean- I mean I understand, I'm understanding you clearly. Up to like, you know, up to when you get cut off and whatever.

'''Julie:''' So apparently Clyde did get kicked from the Mumble server, so that's good.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Hopefully he's gone for good. He's been trying to promote his awful comic.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah I'm definitely gonna take- I'm definitely gonna- I've been taking some time, and I've been thinking about like you know doing a page at a time, and uploading that to my website. As, as I- as I draw the comic.

'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, umm... I know maybe it's confidential, but could you tell me about- a bit about the next comic? I really want to hear.

'''Chris:''' Tough love, simply enough- in the first episode [[Wild]] and [[Simonla]] will meet in the [[Dating Education]] class, and it'll just be like, a simple romance, without them- with only the professor knowing it, the two get paired up uh, communicating with each other over- over, like internet and cell phone and whatnot in practice. And then they all love each other.

'''Julie:''' Cool. I look forward to reading about it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I mean, but, you would think, you know, Simonla is a ground/bug type and uh, Wild's a grass-electric. It's like they wouldn't, uh, hook up very well on the opposite traits. But you know, Wild don't- wild don't care. Loves her.

==== 00:17:37 Music, Alizée ====

'''Julie:''' Wow. That sounds so nice. You know what, I'd like to change the subject a bit?

'''Chris:''' Uh, sure.

'''Julie:''' Can I ask you about your taste in music? I'm an [[wikipedia:Alizée|Alizée]] fan myself!

'''Chris:''' Uhh.

'''Julie:''' Can I show you one of her videos? Her videos?

'''Chris:''' Uhhh, no. Uh, no that's okay, but you said Alizée, I think I've heard that name mentioned before.

'''Julie:''' Yes, I believe it was mentioned uh, last time.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I kinda like mo- like uh, all types of [[Chris and music|music]]. Uh, some heavy metal, not so ehhh, but you know I'll play it on guitar hero, at least.

'''Julie:''' I've been trying to get Guitar Hero. That's one of the next games I've been planning to get.

'''Chris:''' Guitar Hero Metallica?

'''Julie:''' Well, even Guitar Hero Metallica, or maybe world tour.

'''Chris:''' World Tour's already out. With the band kit.

'''Julie:''' I can possibly get that.

'''Chris:''' Or you can- or you can get Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock or Aerosmith.

'''Julie:''' I hear there are some rock stars that are actually playable in Guitar Hero 3, who are they?

'''Chris:''' Ahh, I can't really, I don't really memorize- I don't really memorize the uh, playable characters, but in world tour I did create a playable version of myself.

'''Julie:''' Cool.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah there's a video on the [[YouTube]] that shows me playing with my character and the [[Gitar of Fail|Sonichu Guitar]].

'''Julie:''' Yeah, I noticed you played really well. Do you know how to play the real guitar?

'''Chris:''' Ehhh. No, but you know, the guitar, the plastic guitar's good enough for me, I mean, I feel it's good- good enough. Like playing a real guitar. [''Voice becomes very gloomy''] Even though it's not, but still, [''back to cheerful''] It's good enough for me!

==== 00:19:33 Troll Wars VI: Return of the Clyde ====

'''Julie:''' Oh no. I think Clyde's back. Hopefully he doesn't notice this. Hopefully [''drown out by clattering noises''] -but let's just ignore him again.

'''Chris:''' I mean, yeah. He's not in- he's not in our private channel. So, he's not hearing us.

'''Julie:''' Yea- [''cut off again'']

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah but anyway- yeah, I like all kinds of music. Uh, but uh, you know, my favorite female pop star- my favorite female pop star-singer I'd say would be, would have to be [[Britney Spears]].

'''Julie:''' I agree, Britney Spears is very nice.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

==== 00:20:13 Attracted to Cartoons ====

'''Julie:''' You know, about your comic? I actually have a question I've been pondering for quite awhile.

'''Chris:''' Ask.

'''Julie:''' Umm, do you find yourself attracted to your female characters you created at all?

'''Chris:''' Ah, do I find myself attracted to my female characters?

'''Julie:''' That you have created, yes. I'm sorry if it's a bit too much but I feel like I just, I've been pondering it.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Let me think about that, hmm. Are we including the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]?

'''Julie:''' Huh. What?

'''Chris:''' Uh, hang on a second, we've got an interloper here.

'''Julie:''' It must be a troll.

'''Chris:''' Oh, there he goes, he got kicked out.

'''Julie:''' Oh, there he goes. Thank goodness.

'''Chris:''' Yep. Ah, right so, are we talking about uh- so, in addition, yeah uh, the [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|human]] [[Allison Amber|female]] characters. Are we also talking about me being attractive to the Rosechus?

'''Julie:''' Yes, I've been pondering. I'm just wondering.

'''Chris:''' Yeah they'd- yeah I would say they all have a good ap- I would- they all think I'm handsome. Like my mother. My mother- my mother thinks I'm- my mother tells me constantly that I'm handsome and I agree with her, like when I look at myself in the mirror. But it's like, you know, every time she tells me I'm handsome I'm like, “If I'm so handsome why don't I have a girlfriend?”

'''Julie:''' I don't know! I can't imagine why either. You're- well to use the best word you're just dashing. You're just wonderful.

'''Chris:''' I appreciate that.

'''Julie:''' It is my pleasure.

==== 00:22:07 [[Chris and money|Money]] ====

'''Chris:''' [''Brief pause, stress sigh''] Let me go off-topic a bit. So, how- how long do you think it will be until you feel like you'll be able to afford to make the trip to uh, come to Virginia?

'''Julie:''' I'm not sure. Things are tough with the economic problems in America currently. Hopefully you'll be able to um, hopefully I'll be able to soon.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. You getting any financial help from your family? I mean uh, you can count [[Max|your brother]], but I'm not necessarily counting him.

'''Julie:''' Well, most of my family live in Molvanîa. For after- I mean, before it happened. I hope they're okay.

==== 00:22:48 Clyde Speaks! ====

'''Clyde:''' I'm here Chris...

'''Julie:''' Clyde?! What are you doing here?

[''Chris gives a stress sigh'']

'''Clyde:''' I just wanted to stop by and say hi, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Get out.

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Clyde:''' Look Chris, Chris. I just wanna tell you something.

'''Chris:''' Yeah wh-

'''Clyde:''' I'm off my medication right now, I'm off my leia (presumably leash) and I'm still angry at you now. Last time was a mistake. I shouldn't, [[Vivian]] told me... [''exhales''] Oh god. Tell me Chris. I just want you to answer one thing.

'''Chris:''' What is it.

'''Clyde:''' Why haven't you killed me yet? Why haven't you killed me yet.

'''Julie:''' [''Pause''] Chris I think he's trying to tick me.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Julie:''' Clyde, how did you get in here?!

'''Clyde:''' [''Short whisper, indistinct'']

'''Julie:''' You must be on your drugs again, you jerk!

'''Clyde:''' Not this time. Not this time. I was being too nice last time, obviously. That was me on drugs. I was too nice when I was on drugs.

'''Chris:''' You know Clyde, I have an answer- I do have an answer for you. I haven't killed you yet because you're doing a good job doing it to yourself.

'''Clyde:''' Uhhh... I haven't attempted to kill myself. Ever.

'''Chris:''' Druggie.

'''Julie:''' Chris, I don't think he's gonna leave. I'm scared. What if he tells all the other jerks what you've been saying? What if he knows?! No. I don't know. [''Clyde momentarily interrupts'']

'''Chris:''' He knows nothing. He's been mostly out of this conversation.

'''Clyde:''' I know everything. Ever.

'''Chris:''' Op. There we go, he got kicked out. [''pause''] There you go he got kicked out. Yeah but I think most- I think- I think we're safe because he did not hear most of our conversation since, you know, he was mostly in the inactive column.

==== 00:25:22 Clyde Leaves ====

'''Julie:''' I have to be right back soon.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Julie:''' So there should be something we can do about Clyde.

'''Chris:''' But uh, like uh- I'm not too worried about him. I mean I'll deal with him- [''Julie interrupts''] I mean I'll deal with him when uh, he pops in.

'''Julie:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Uhh according to [[Cogsdev]], he says that uhh Clyde shouldn't be able to come back. [''pause, stress sigh''] Hmm, right so we were-

'''Julie:''' It must be another troll.

==== 00:26:09 Chris talks to Cogsdev ====

'''Chris:''' Nah, that's okay. They're taken care of... They're being taken care of- they're taken care of. But anyway getting back to our conversation, talk about uh, yeah you tried- I was asking you if you had any [[Monthly Tugboat|financial aid]] from your family. But uh, then you said that they- the troubles in Molvania and such. Uh. Yeah, but mostly uh- any help at all from your family? Financially. [''pause''] Julie? Okay.

[''Pause'']

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Uhh, Cogsdev, you can- you heard the whole conversation, didn't you? [''Pause''] Oh. Okay. [''unclear mumbling, pause''] Oh, okay, well that's okay, you didn't have to uh, come into the channel, but uh, yeah okay but anyway so what's your question?

[''Pause'']

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Active manner. Hmm. Yeah cuz I like- cuz I like to uh, hmm. But I mostly am attracted to women so when I draw my female Characters I like to uh... with like you know I, yeah. I like to make them attractive. I have done, uh, hmmm. [''pause''] I can't really uh, hmmm. No, I would not have uh, sex with any of them but it's like you know, uh... It's like but you know, I love them as if they were my friends or uh, or like you know, my brain children. But I would never have sex with them. I mean it's like uh, alright, yeah, Cogsdev, I know you're a girl and I will take your word for it on that, but uh, yeah but, yeah. It's like uh, you have- you would have- if you had a son, wouldn't you want to make him look attractive?

[''Pause']

'''Chris:''' Alright, there you go, you'd dress him up as nice- as nicely as possible. [''Pause, then inaudible mumbling''] Obviously I watched uh, yeah, I did watch [[Pornography]] and then I did get the frustration from the e- from between the [[ED]] page it- the page and the [[trolls]]. But it's also like, you know uh, I've all- I've wanted to do something like that, you know uh, just to stretch uh an adult muscle in my head. And plus, if you'll look at the, uh, at the lovey-dovey non-nudity scenes like uh, you know just the embracing and the kissing. They're like my best works of- they're like my best examples of [[art]]. It's like even though I'm a frustrated [[virgin]], I can draw romance very well.

[''Pause'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I just- but- you know, a bunch of times I most but- like majority of- like most other people I'm [[random]]. And I'll uh, I'll never know what I'm gonna- sometimes I never know what I'm gonna do next. If I'm- um- what I mean I work out- I don't think- sometimes I don't think I feel. If I wanna do something to- just for the heck of it then I'll do it. But yeah, the [[comic]] is mostly intended for children.

[''Pause, [[sigh]]'']

'''Chris:''' But it's also like you know, it's- I'll figure that it's also like it's intention for like when they get older. Years later they're- they're in their teenage years and they're like uh, they're looking back at the earlier stuff and it's like “Oh that was so childish”. But then it's like you know I- I added this uh- this- the uh, the T-rated or the- or adult materials I pretty much did. It's like uh, they could relate better- they could like relate to that in their adult- in their teenage and adult years. Just uh- just uh- just a small branch out, if you will.

[''Pause'']

'''Chris:''' More of a- I would say that uh, related to like what I would like in my romantic love life. Or like, you know, when I have my romantic relationship with my sweetheart. That's pretty much- I'm gonna be doing it. And also with that uh, also good advice for uh, those that don't know for themselves. Like I'm working on the [[dating education]] episode I was just telling Julie about a little bit. But yeah, that 9-year-old who wrote [[How to Talk to Girls|that book]] pretty much took the words out of my mouth, and then some, but mostly-

==== 00:33:46 Julie Returns ====

'''Julie:''' I'm back Mr. Chandler!

'''Chris:''' [''Laughs''] Oh that's- that was fun. I was just talking to Cogsdev uh, pretty much.

'''Julie:''' Ah, I see!

'''Chris:''' you know it's just-

'''Julie:''' So, did I miss anything important?

'''Chris:''' Ahh, not really. Just answered the- I just answered a couple of her questions.

'''Julie:''' Oh, alright. Wait, how did- huh. Oh, nevermind. [''pause''] So I'm sorry I had to take a brief absence. My brother called me for help with something.

'''Chris:''' I see. Hmmm. I'm sure Cogsdev won't mind but I'm just gonna see if I can... how to do it here it says “kick and mute” I just want- I just want to move- oh, she moved herself. Okay. So, alright so, what did he want? You to help him with?

'''Julie:''' He just- he just wanted to help- me to help him with um, from the kitchen.

'''Chris:''' Oh. I see. That's good. Hmm.

==== 00:35:10 Non-Sonichu Characters ====

'''Julie:''' Hmm. I just thought of another question while I was helping him in the kitchen.

'''Chris:''' Yes?

'''Julie:''' I noticed that all your characters are indeed- well, most of them are indeed Sonichus and Rosechus.

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' Do you plan to make any other characters that are not Sonichus and Rosechus? Like that character I gave to you earlier?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Possibly. But you know that there are some, there are other animal characters outside that, the Sonichus and Rosechus, you know, there's [[Flame the Sunbird]].

'''Julie:''' Yes there is him. I-

'''Chris:''' Of course we have the human characters.

'''Julie:''' Yes I know, but aside from them, do you plan on making any other non-Sonichu or Rosechu characters?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, possibly for like you know uh, one way or another hero villains, side characters, It just-

'''Julie:''' I look forward to it!

'''Chris:''' Time will tell. And uh... here's a thought, after uh, you move to uh, Virginia, and you come be- and you come be with me, then uh, it's like you could help me work on that. Create those characters.

'''Julie:''' I am pretty good at character design. I've made a few characters like the one you've seen before.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' I wanna ask.

'''Chris:''' Hmm?

==== 00:36:48 [[Monthly Tugboat]]s ====

'''Julie:''' You said before that you do get money every month, is this not right?

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, I do get, yeah I do get a mo- [[Monthly tugboat|social security]].

'''Julie:''' Well, you must have more money than I. Can you try to come to Ohio sometime? Or would you prefer if I came to your house.

'''Chris:''' I'd rather uh, you came to my house. Cuz I just don't feel comfortable traveling long distances, uh by myself at least.

'''Julie:''' I guess, but I've never been in America myself either. I'm somewhat worried myself.

'''Chris:''' Best thing you can do to relive that tension is just to, take a deep breath, once in awhile, take your time. You know, quote unquote stop and smell the roses.

'''Julie:''' Alright I guess.

'''Chris:''' You know it's like, uh, you don't have to uh, be in a hurry to get from point A to point B. It's just like, you can space it out in- you can space it out in your own mind, at your own individual pace. As long as you go.

'''Julie:''' Yeah, I think I'll try uh, slowly move over. Hopefully I'll get there this year. If I'm lucky.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah this year. Or uh, I dunno. I'll tell ya what uh, it may be possible, but I might uh, be able to board you here if uh, board you here in my- board you here in my room until uh you get uh, until you get an apartment for yourself, you know? [''Windows beeping''] Until you get here.

==== 00:38:42 Things Are Different in Molvanîa ====

'''Julie:''' Can I ask you something though?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' In Molvanîa... men indeed do come to the womens houses first. But how things are different here? I figured that they have the same rules.

'''Chris:''' Well you know, same more or less. But it's like uh, most people are more comf- most men are more comfortable with uh, what they call a “Sadie Hawkins” situation because uh- alright yeah, Sadie- it's uh, pretty much just fictional character Sadie Hawkins, you can look her up on uh Wikipedia or something.

'''Julie:''' I think I will.

'''Chris:''' Yeah but, mostly it's like uh, no guy would- every- every guy was like afraid to uh, talk to her so, she pretty much did the asking of the guy- asking to the guys. And uh, they would most likely say yes but- yeah so, she pretty much started a trend of women asking the guys or going to them.

'''Julie:''' I see.

'''Chris:''' And I just, for a long while I felt more comfortable- more comfortable in a [[wikipedia:Sadie_Hawkins_Day|Sadie Hawkins]] situation.

'''Julie:''' Uh huhh.

'''Chris:''' Like you know uhhh, pretty much the women- pretty much the women coming to me that's uh, pretty much why during my in-person experiences, during my sweetheart search in the earlier years when I actually were, in- actually was in the lo- in the real life locations. I was waiting for the women to come to me. Cuz I was just shy and uncomfortable- I just was shy mostly.

'''Julie:''' But you don't need to be shy around me, you know me, you trust me completely, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. But still-

==== 00:40:48 Don't Be Afraid ====

'''Julie:''' You shouldn't be scared.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but also there's the uh, there's like role troubles and my fam- and my mom would- and my mom would worry and all that sort of- all that sort of-

'''Julie:''' [''interrupting''] my brother worries about my safety. You know, he doesn't want me to get hurt out there because the world is a mean place.

'''Chris:''' I hear- I hear you there.

'''Julie:''' Hmm. I'm still worried.

'''Chris:''' Sometimes you just gotta take a plunge. I mean, listen to me, talking like this. It's like I should be taking plunges for myself. Hmm. Here's some thing-

'''Julie:''' [''interrupting''] Well, I guess I could try.

'''Chris:''' I would appreciate that. I really would.

'''Julie:''' I- I will- I promise you right now, I just want you to know, that I will consciously try to get to Virginia in this year. I will try my very hardest.

'''Chris:''' Thank you. I want you to know I mean that from my heart. Thank you Julie.

'''Julie:''' You are very welcome Chris. But again, I'm worried. What if Clyde- what if he attempts to rape me as he did with [[PandaHalo|Panda]]? I'm worried. Worried for my own safety.

'''Chris:''' Yeah but uh, as long as you don't uh, put it on the internet where you're currently living, then uh-

==== 00:42:36 Clyde the Stalker ====

'''Julie:''' Yes but he's able to follow me. I think I've seen a car around my house- someone... someone Asian in it? I think Clyde is Asian, I'm worried. He looked in with an evil glare, I'm worried. I think it was half-Asian actually, I'm not really- I'm just really scared that if I try and leave my house that he's gonna do awful things to me. [[sex tape|Awful horrible things]] to me! I'm scared Chris.

'''Chris:''' I hear you. I feel for you. I'd be scared too.

'''Julie:''' But I don't think! I- I don't think he'd rape you. Which is why I think maybe you should come- I apologize for the background noise, TV is on.

'''Chris:''' That's okay. Uhhh, but you- surely that guy cannot be out there all the time.

'''Julie:''' Yes but I see his car even at night. I have a feeling he may be stalking me but I don't know where he is and I'm scared to call anyone about it.

'''Chris:''' Well do you have his license plate number?

'''Julie:''' But Chris I- no I don't. But, I know Chris, that- you're tough Chris. I actually- I believe in you. You are the strongest person I've ever met. You're tough! I know you are. I know you've described yourself a couple times but, you are the strongest person I know. I know this! I want you to protect me Chris. Can I please trust you? With my life? Do you think that would be...

'''Chris:''' Alright you can trust- I'm- you can trust me to protect you.

'''Julie:''' Thank you Chris I apprecia [''audio cut off''].

'''Chris:''' Yes. I will protect you.

'''Julie:''' Yeah the TV is extremely loud. I should ask my brother to turn it down.

'''Chris:''' Actually I'm not hearing your tel- I'm not hearing your television.

'''Julie:''' Huh.

'''Chris:''' So you know, it's okay at this point.

'''Julie:''' Alright. [''brief pause''] Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Thank you. I'm happy that I could trust you. And I'm happy that you can also trust me.

'''Chris:''' I'm happy too. That uh, you're able to uh, to trust me very much as well and that you understand me very well. Makes me feel better. Makes me feel happier.

'''Julie:''' I'm very, it's my pleasure making you feel happy, Chris. It's my ple- [''Audio cuts out'']

'''Chris:''' Uhh, Cogsdev uh, Okay, uh, did you have another question or something?

'''Julie:''' I'll be right- [''Audio cuts out'']

'''Chris:''' [''to Cogsdev''] oh yeah well we were just talking uh, but yeah, Julie will be right back so uh, it's okay. Did you have something else on your mind?

[''Pause'']

==== 00:47:00 He's Outside! Oh no! ====

'''Julie:''' So anyway, uh, yes I do see someone outside my house. I don't know who it is.

'''Chris:''' Just uh, just try not to think about it.

'''Julie:''' I won't.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I mean uh, it's not like you saw- I mean, it doesn't- it not- it's not hold it- it does not look like he's looking a [[Megatron pistol|gun]], is he?

'''Julie:''' I'm not sure, he's holding something. I'm worried.

'''Chris:''' Well just- just best not to- to try not to think about it.

[pause]

'''Julie:''' Someone's pounding on my door.

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Someone's pounding on your door...

'''Julie:''' I'm gonna to go lock it. I'm worried, Chris. I'm gonna go lock it.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Oh- it was... I looked outside, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Uh huh?

'''Julie:''' It turns out it was a salesman.

[''Chris gives a maniacal, crazy laugh'']

'''Chris:''' Ahh, that's a relief.

'''Julie:''' I'm sorry, I- I acted so silly!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but it's okay- it's only- it's only human. You're only human.

'''Julie:''' I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' It's okay, we're all human. I mean, I was scared for you too. [pause] I was pretty much quaking over here!

'''Julie:''' I was so scared! I'm so silly.

'''Chris:''' It's a'right. I'm here for you.

[pause]

'''Julie:''' I appreciate that, Chris.

[pause]

==== 00:48:42 Now That Julie's Not About To Get Stabbed, Let's Babble About Cars ====

'''Julie:''' So. I think I would like to change the topic if that's a'right?

'''Chris:''' Sure. Whatcha wanna talk ab-

'''Julie:''' How do you like [[wikipedia:Burnout_(video_game)|Burnout]], Chris?

'''Chris:''' It's- it's alrigh...t. Yeah... get to cruise around...

'''Julie:''' Maybe we should race sometime.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I did notice in a- uhh- in a- in a trailer that, uh... apparently uh, the concept Camaro that [[wikipedia:Bumblebee_(other_incarnations)#2007_Transformers_film|Bumblebee]] was, uh... is in the game too.

'''Julie:''' Yeah I heard they're actually releasing uhh... I forget the exact name, but they're actually gonna... release [[wikipedia:DeLorean_DMC-12|the same car]] from [[wikipedia:Back to the Future|Back to the Future]].

'''Chris:''' Huh. That's interesting. By the way you know, I also do have the music video, uh- that was on the Playstation Network for a limited time- uh, Fast Car...

'''Julie:''' Mmm.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It's basic- I forgot who was the guy who... sang it, but I do uhh have the MP3 of it as well. But, anyway, in the beginning it's like- this person who has a PSP... he's getting a message from- from the guy doing the song... from his PlayStation 3... or his PSP or something like that. And then he gets into Burnout, then gets his license... does- a his video with, uh... car action and such. [''Chris's voice fades out''] I forgot how it... goes. <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[stress sigh]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> Mmm. I could send the video over the PlayStation Network I would, but apparently they only will allow you to send photos or... something like that- I don't know how to send videos.

'''Julie:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' I do have it on my PlayStation 3.

[pause]

==== 00:50:29 Oh Chris, You're The Master Of Subtlety ====

'''Julie:''' When- When I do go to Ruckersville, Virginia with you... I would love to play Guitar Hero with you... and Burnout, and all the games. I would love to just play for hours with you.

'''Chris:''' I would love that too. Play with you.

'''Julie:''' Huh.

'''Chris:''' You know, in [[wikipedia:Guitar_Hero_Encore:_Rocks_the_80s|Guitar Hero: Encore... Rock the 80's]]... the, uh encore number was uh... '[[wikipedia:Play_With_Me|Play with me]]'.

'''Julie:''' Oh, cool! That's... quite the coincidence.

'''Chris:''' So... [''Chris does a bizarre voice here''] come play. Come plaaaay!

'''Julie:''' Haha- I will!

'''Chris:''' Come play. ... and maybe... you know, there may be... [[hanky panky|other things]].

'''Julie:''' Heh!

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Other... fun things. [''Chris has a lecherous tone to his voice'']

'''Julie:''' I hear you!

'''Chris:''' Just- just each other on the couch... or on my bed. [''Transcriber's note: Chris DEFINITELY needs to be on a couch. Just not in the way he's thinking.'']

'''Julie:''' I can't wait.

'''Chris:''' ... Yeah. [''stress sigh''] This point yeah. Pretty much, uhh... but don't quote me- um, I don't want you [[CWCki|spreading it around]] and uh... well yeah, at this point, uh... eh... Sarah... Panda is gone. I'll just let her fly away right now... to uh... to Clyde, if she is going there, just let her fly- just let her- I'll just let her go. I'll give you my-

'''Julie:''' I'm real- I'm very sorry to hear Panda has left you. And after all this time and you loved her. And she would just leave you for that.

'''Chris:''' It's okay. [[Chris and death|I'm able to recover.]] Then... move on.

'''Julie:''' I hope so.

'''Chris:''' But anyway. Uhh, Julie- I'll let you take my virginity.

'''Julie:''' [''muted''] Thank you.

'''Chris:''' After you get here and we spend... [[third date|plenty of time]] together and get to know each other in person.

'''Julie:''' I look forward to that, 100% Chris.

'''Chris:''' You've come so far. You'll be the uh- the wife- the one who actually made it.

==== 00:52:51 Chris The Cherry Popp'n, Prematurely Ejaculating Machine! ====

'''Julie:''' Chris, can I ask you something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' Oh yeah. How do you think our first time would- [''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' I'd do the best I can. [''gives a nervous, scared laugh''] Hopefully not prematurely ev-ejaculate.

'''Julie:''' Hope not! I wanna enjoy it as much as I can.

'''Chris:''' Uhh, certainly I would try my best to make it as... satisfactory as possible. I mean, I've watched a lot of pornography, educational... or, uh just... sets or uh, and I've learned from that.

'''Julie:''' I see. What position would you like best? Can I ask?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I don't know. Cowgirl.

'''Julie:''' I've heard of it. I think I might enjoy it.

'''Chris:''' You're on top.

'''Julie:''' [giggle] Wait, how would I be on top?

'''Chris:''' I'm on my back-

'''Julie:''' Oh yeah, I remember.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Mmm. So yeah, Julie, you know, come here as soon as possible... If you can make it by- if you can make it for even at least a visit... on my, by my, on my birthday... later this month... I would appreciate that.

'''Julie:''' Chris, I promise you, I will try my absolute hardest to visit you on your birthday.

[''pause'']
[[Image:1240785819569.jpg|thumb|right|Chris is smiling for you. Just for you.]]
'''Chris:''' Too bad you can't see me smile, because [[creepy stare|I'm smiling for you]].

'''Julie:''' Well, there's always... S-Skype, but... nah. Not right now.

'''Chris:''' It's okay. [''pause''] There's also PlayStation Network Chat. I have PlayStation Eye. But uhh-

'''Julie:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' -unfortunately, your brother... maybe he'll- maybe he'll give it back to you.

==== 00:54:54 The First Time OH GOD. ====

'''Julie:''' I hope so. Hey Chris, I know you might not want to, I'm just asking, but do you think you could describe the first time?

'''Chris:''' Mmmmmm...

'''Julie:''' For me?

'''Chris:''' Mmm... I tell you what, how about I uh... type it up and send it to you on multiple messages on PSN...

'''Julie:''' Aww, are you sure?

'''Chris:''' Cuz... cuz I can't recollect it off the top of my head, and it's a lot of detail.

'''Julie:''' But you can stay... I'll stay for the whole thing! It's a lot easier to say it in words. Please Chris?

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Julie:''' For me?

'''Chris:''' I might. It's gonna take me... a while to recollect.

'''Julie:''' I'll wait the entire time.

'''Chris:''' You are a trooper.

'''Julie:''' And it doesn't have to be perfectly accurate.

'''Chris:''' Lemme just ask you though, out of curiosity... are you a virgin?

'''Julie:''' Indeed I am. And I'll gladly let you take it.

'''Chris:''' Let's take each other.

'''Julie:''' Uh huh.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [pause] Take it as a compliment, you're making me hard.

'''Julie:''' Okay, so can you describe it? For me?

'''Chris:''' Yeah okay I'm trying- lemme- okay, mmm.

'''Julie:''' I will patiently wait.

==== 00:56:38 I HAVE TO TRANSCRIBE THIS?! WHAT THE HELL MAN! WHAT THE HELL! ====

'''Chris:''' We will firstly make out.

'''Julie:''' Mmm.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Hmm. During that day I would have eaten plenty of strawberries.

'''Julie:''' I love strawberries. Lemme tell you Chris...

'''Chris:''' Mmm?

'''Julie:''' I'm [[mass debating|masturbating]] right now to this thought. So please continue.

'''Chris:''' We're making out. Mmm. We're... I'd let you... I'd let ya... pull my pants down, and let you warm me up a bit.

'''Julie:''' I would love to.

'''Chris:''' Uhhgh... You wouldn't mind giving- uh, you wouldn't mind giving me a, uh... blowjob?

'''Julie:''' I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind at all.

'''Chris:''' So uh, you just imagine it... and you're enjoying it I think?

'''Julie:''' Of course I am.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. You have my right hand on... your left shoulder.

'''Julie:''' Mmm.

'''Chris:''' J-just just- just having it there.

'''Julie:''' Yes!

==== 00:58:20 Chris Admits To Probable Premature Ejaculation ====

'''Chris:''' Mmm. A'right yeah, then eventually yeah... You would pretty much, eventually uh, you might- you might get some of the premature stuff... at least that's like, out of the way. [''inhales nervously'']

'''Julie:''' We would continue after that, right?

'''Chris:''' I still have a lot more... I still got a lot more tiger in my tank. Rawr.

'''Julie:''' Me too.

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Julie:''' Mmm.

==== 00:58:54 Return to Ear Rape ====

'''Chris:''' Let's say we, uh... undress each other.

'''Julie:''' Yes. [''Julie sounds bored'']

'''Chris:''' I'll unhook your bra.

'''Julie:''' Mmm.

'''Chris:''' Then I would, uh... be... be marveling at your... at your... nipples.

'''Julie:''' Mmm hmm.

'''Chris:''' Cuz you've already marveled at my [[duck|dick]]...!

'''Julie:''' [''pause''] Excuse me?

'''Chris:''' You're pretty- I mean-

'''Julie:''' Can you repeat that?

'''Chris:''' I said, you would have already marveled at my... dick.

'''Julie:''' Yes I have.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Then we just- then we'd just be undressing each other... at this point. Then I'd know that it's your turn. I'll massage your breasts with my hands and I'll have my mouth at your pussy.

'''Julie:''' Mmm... I would enjoy that very much.

'''Chris:''' Yes. There you go, massaging and giving me... my head.

'''Julie:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

==== 01:00:09 Julie Encourages Chris ====

'''Julie:''' Chris, can I ask you something?

'''Chris:''' Yeeees?

'''Julie:''' As I am... are you too... masturbating to this?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I don't have my hand... on me.

'''Julie:''' I was wishing maybe we could... do it together.

'''Chris:''' Mmm... let's call this a little rehearsal. We don't necessarily need to let anything go with the moment.

'''Julie:''' Oh a'right. Please continue though.

==== 01:00:44 Sexy Time Again! ====

'''Chris:''' You know what? I just grabbed it.

'''Julie:''' I'm happy to hear.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's, it's not hanging out- but I'm grabbing it. You made me grab it.

[''Julie giggles twice'']

'''Chris:''' Then eventually, uh... I'll give it to you first doggy style.

'''Julie:''' Thank you. [''pause''] Please continue.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. In and out, in and out... mmm.
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|right|SEVEN INCHES MY MORBIDLY OBESE ARSE.]]
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, can I ask you something? How big is it?

'''Chris:''' It can go up to seven inches. [''Transcriber's note: The picture to your right is both horrible and illuminating.'']

'''Julie:''' Oh wow! I'd love that. [''pause''] Please continue, I'd love to hear it. I love to hear this- thank you!

'''Chris:''' So... just let it play in your imagination. In and out, in and out- doggy style!

'''Julie:''' Yay!

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Then eventually... I'd fall towards you and we'd both lay together on the bed, side by side... I mean we are lying- we are laying on our sides. I am behind you.

'''Julie:''' Ohh.

'''Chris:''' [''Chris puts on another retarded voice''] My dick is still in your pus-sey, and my fingers are making sure it stays in there.

'''Julie:''' Hmm... Would you do it [[homo|up the butt]]?

'''Chris:''' [[Homos#Evidence_that_Chris_is_a_homo|Not on the first time]].

'''Julie:''' Ahh, a'right.

'''Chris:''' We'll enjoy the moment.

'''Julie:''' Hmm. I am.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' [''retard-o voice returns''] In and ooooout, in and oooooout. It... feels good.

[retarded, incomprehensible stammering]

'''Chris:''' [''more retarded voice''] And pretty soon, and pretty soon the cowgirl... You're on top! You're on top of meeee... you're riding-

'''Julie:''' I would ride that so much.

'''Chris:''' -me, you're riding me hard.

'''Julie:''' Mmm hmm.
[[Image:Strawberries.png|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
'''Chris:''' B-but then, but then... [''Chris suddenly switches to his normal voice''] By the way I would be wearing a condom. So like you know, so like you know I have no problem wearing it, so if I got inside you and be protected... or I could like pull it out, and go right all onto... your bosom. Or into your mouth. Whatever you want. I'll give you a pearl necklace, or I'll... feed it to ya.

'''Julie:''' Ahh.

'''Chris:''' What do you want. What is it you desire.

'''Julie:''' Maybe just... to have it. Maybe just to eat it, I suppose. You did say it would taste like strawberries.

'''Chris:''' That's because I would have eaten a bunch of strawberries beforehand.

'''Julie:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' So... mmm. There you go. [''retarded voice returns''] Huh huh... in the mouth! [''normal''] You're enjoying that.

'''Julie:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. And then we would pretty much... [[recycling|clean each other up in the bathroom]].

'''Julie:''' Mmm hmm!

'''Chris:''' After that. Or we'd just hang around in the bed. W- W-

[''Chris and Julie talk over each other for a second or so'']

'''Julie:''' Excuse me for a second, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yes?

'''Julie:''' [''Bored monotone''] I think... I'm coming.

'''Chris:''' Ho- ho boy!

'''Julie:''' Thank you so much Chris! That was a wonderful story. I hope that some day it will be a reality.

'''Chris:''' We'll soon see, won't we?

'''Julie:''' I hope so.

==== 01:04:58 Getting in Contact IRL ====

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Is it possible you could take a picture of yourself... and send it to me in a PlayStation Network... message?

'''Julie:''' I will try and get a camera, yes!

'''Chris:''' I like that. Oh, by the way, uhh... you do have my phone number right?

'''Julie:''' Uhhm- not yet, but I haven't been able to get hold of a phone, only at my current workplace. I was a- I was pretty desperate to find a place to live so I wasn't able to actually get a phone yet. But I would love to have it, so I can call it once I get to that point where... I can get one.

'''Chris:''' A'right well uh, you have uh... a pencil and paper?

'''Julie:''' Uh huh, I do.

'''Chris:''' A'right well you can call me on my cell, it's uh... 760-0848, area code 434.

'''Julie:''' One more time please?

'''Chris:''' I should uhh start from the beginning, it's uh, (434) 760-0848.

'''Julie:''' I- [''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' Got that?

'''Julie:''' Uh huh, indeed I did.

'''Chris:''' A'right, read that back to me.

'''Julie:''' A'right. [''pause''] (434) 760-088- sorry. (434), 76...0-084...8.

'''Chris:''' Yeah that's right.

'''Julie:''' Good.

'''Chris:''' After you get your phone, let me know your number... uh uh- message on the PlayStation Network at work-

'''Julie:''' A'right-

'''Chris:''' -or whenever we talk in private, and then I'll know it's your phone number.

'''Julie:''' Mmm hmm! I'll try get a phone soon.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Good. Mmm. And uh- you know what? You made me feel good, even though I [''Windows beeping in the background''] didn't [[Chris Loses It|lose it]] right away, you made me feel good.

'''Julie:''' Hmm! I'm happy.

'''Chris:''' I'm happy I made you feel wonderful... as well.

'''Julie:''' Hmm, you did.

'''Chris:''' I think it'll be better... when we're actually better in person.

'''Julie:''' It will.

'''Chris:''' You know what? I'm imagining myself leaning towards you, and my forehead's touching your forehead...

'''Julie:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' ... and we're looking at each other eye to eye...

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Mmm. [''pause''] And then what happens?

'''Chris:''' [''snorts, pause''] I dunno, we just... be emotional and then... and then we make out some more. [''laughs'']

'''Julie:''' I look forward to it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, let's be emotional in person, together, when it gets to that point.

==== 01:08:06 Julie AFKs Out, Some Trolls Laugh ====

'''Julie:''' Yes. [''pause''] I'll be right back, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Okay, me too.

'''Julie:''' A'right.

[''Sound of random junk being moved'']

'''Julie:''' Umuhh- I'll be back in about five minutes.

'''Basement Rosechu:''' In addition, this partnership is a better [''inaudible''] ability, will allow you to [''inaudible''] for any reason. We are a rapidly changing market, and under- [''Presumably, Chris tracks down the escaped rodent and murders her'']

[''Ominous silence'']

'''Troll:''' [''faint''] Oh... god...! ...Huhuh... [''This is presumably the unknown dude who appears later in the chat'']

[''Sound of typing'']

[''Silence'']

[''Giggling and slapping of thighs in the background'']

'''Troll:''' [''faint''] What the... fuck.

==== 01:09:42 Julie Returns, Chris's Parents ====

'''Julie:''' Chris?

'''Chris:''' Ahh- hang on a second, I gotta put my earphones back on. [''pause''] Okay, so you were say-

'''Julie:''' If I may ask?

'''Chris:''' Sorry, what?

'''Julie:''' Um-

'''Chris:''' Oh, you-y-y-

'''Julie:''' -would your parents mind?

'''Chris:''' My parents mind what?

'''Julie:''' If I came over to your house and we did the business? [''pause''] Would they mind? Would they be okay with it? I hope so.

'''Chris:''' Uhh, I think they're- I think they're- they're cool.

'''Julie:''' I would love to meet your father and mother.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. And I- and I would- Imma let them know about you as well. They're looking forward to meeting you as well. You know, in introduction.

'''Julie:''' Mmm? Can you say that again?

'''Chris:''' Mmm?

'''Julie:''' I didn't hear you.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. I said um- I'll tell- I'd talk to my mother, and let her know about uh you, and after you come over I'll be only too glad to uh, introduce you to [[Cole|the whole family]].

'''Julie:''' I'm happy to see that- to hear that.

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Julie:''' So Chris, mostly I've been talking about- mostly I've like been starting to talk... is there anything I can talk about? Anything I can answer for you?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Uhh, nothing comes to my mind right now, it's- it's pretty much... blank, you know? Hmm.

==== 01:11:34 The Future ====

'''Julie:''' Hmm, a'right. [''pause''] Hey Chris, how do you think your future will be like?

'''Chris:''' H-How do I think my future will be like?

'''Julie:''' Yes! Either yours or mine and yours.

'''Chris:''' Well uh you know, you know, for me at least you know, eventually, I would be married and... have my daughter named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]].

'''Julie:''' Hopefully you can be married to me, and I can be the mother. [''pause''] Chris, I would gladly be the mother to Crystal. Gladly.

'''Chris:''' A'right. Good. Unngh.

'''Julie:''' Would I be a housewife, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Hmm- we'll see, but uh, I was kinda hoping to be the house husband.

'''Julie:''' But I'm very good with [[sonee|children]]... and I can cook.. I can clean very well, too.

'''Chris:''' Uhh, we'll see what- we'll see what happens when the time- when the time is right, you know?

'''Julie:''' A'right. Do you think in the event that we- in the event that we do decide that I am the house... wife... maybe you could get a job? What job would you like to have? That's a good question, I would like to ask you.

'''Chris:''' Uhhm, I'm not certain... but at least you know, you're promising, 'cuz, you know, you're thinking that doctor's a good job...

'''Julie:''' Wait Chris, what about your CADD degrees? You could get a job with that, can't you?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... probably, but uh, not really sure at the moment.

'''Julie:''' Cuz' Chris, the thing is, I really don't have an American high school diploma, I can't work.

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Julie:''' I'm gonna *try* to get doctor, but it's not gonna be easy, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I hear ya'. Hmm. Oh, I will definitely give the question some thought. Plenty of thought.

==== 01:13:58 Julie Tries To White-Knight Chris ====

'''Julie:''' Also, I'm really happy- I was looking at- I was looking at the Internet, I was happy to find out that there are a lot of things I can get online that I wasn't able to find in the Molvanîan stores. I was able to... I'd like to set up something called a PayPal, have you heard of it?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Hmm. It's pretty good! Maybe-

'''Chris:''' -Yeah.

'''Julie:''' I think I'll get one.

'''Chris:''' Uhh... I usually use Paypal for like, uh... paying or... receiving money for goods I sell on eBay.

'''Julie:''' I didn't realize you sold things on eBay.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I did.

[''Julie and Chris talk over each other'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah uh, just various things I didn't need anymore. But it's like you know, it costs money to list- it costs money to list on eBay, and you would have to have a bank account linked to the PayPal account...

'''Julie:''' Ahh.

'''Chris:''' But it's like you know- knows, it- so then it knows, so they know where to send the money to or take the money from.

'''Julie:''' Chris, I thought of something that might be able to get you money.

'''Chris:''' Hmm?

'''Julie:''' Hey- what if you advertised Sonichu? And, it would gain popularity, and you could sell merchandise.. you wouldn't need [[Miyamoto saga|Nintendo]], you could just sell it!

'''Chris:''' Mmm... I don't know about that, uhhm-

'''Julie:''' I think it's a good idea, you really should advertise. Like, in your neighborhood. Maybe in [[Ruckersville]].

'''Chris:''' Umm... I'll give that some thought. I'll give that some thought. [''pause''] I'm not making any promises, I'm not making any promises, but I will gi- I will definitely... greatly consider it.

'''Julie:''' Could I consider something, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Julie:''' Maybe- you could go outside, do a meet-and-greet. Just walk around Ruckersville and meet a lot of people. Say- just be nice to them and tell them about Sonichu, the popularity will indeed grow.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] That's something-

'''Julie:''' They'll tell their friends.

'''Chris:''' That's something that... in addition... I can think about.

'''Julie:''' I really hope you do, cuz', I really wanna see Sonichu become a main brand- maybe even a video game to come out, something I can play on my PS3. It would be wonderful.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. But you know what's uhh- more wonderful? Or what will be more wonderful?

'''Julie:''' What? What?

'''Chris:''' You being here.

'''Julie:''' I would hope that too. Sadly, the economy is not letting that happen easily. I've said before, I'm tr-

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' -trying very, very hard to get over there.

'''Chris:''' And your efforts will be greatly rewarded when you come.

'''Julie:''' Chris, I... since. Hmm. I figure you should try and do something. You need to prove to Nintendo that Sonichu is a great idea. I know that as far as what I've heard, they aren't exactly-

'''Chris:''' Yeah, actually... they agreed- they uh, they did, uh, you've heard- they've acknowledged that it is a great idea, but because I was unable to uh make the trip, because I could not afford it- afford the trip- said trip myself, to uh Redmond from Virginia, I mean, even on an airplane, or even in- or even on a- road trip...

==== 01:17:49 Julie's Redmond Plan ====

'''Julie:''' Well Chris, I have like- a step by step plan on what you can do. You can save up for a couple of months, step one. Step two, reserve a cheap airline ticket that can get you to Redmond. Second, bring a trusted friend along- maybe you can get a-hold of [[Cole Smithey]], perhaps?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, I-I-

'''Julie:''' Are you still in touch with him?

'''Chris:''' No.

'''Julie:''' Oh, sorry.

'''Chris:''' Hmm...

'''Julie:''' Maybe you could bring... Hmm- you could bring your [[Bob|father]]? Maybe he could help. I've heard he's... he's got [''inaudible''] expertise.

'''Chris:''' [''mumbles''] Mmm maybe my [[Snorlax|mother]]... erm. Or you know, here's a thought... I could bring you.

'''Julie:''' Weeell, I think we could try that, but I-I don't think it'll be in the near future if we try that...

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Julie:''' But by all means...

'''Chris:''' It's uh, gonna be a while before we can uh, save up enough money to uh, actually... save up e- save up like... $800 for like a pair of tickets.

'''Julie:''' I don't think it'll be $800... I think it'll be something... maybe like $500? I'm not sure? But- I'm not positive...

'''Chris:''' Well, time will tell.

'''Julie:''' Well, a couple of months and... you know. You can get there. They'll reimburse you, so it won't be a big loss- maybe-

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' -maybe you can get Sonichu made. You have to assert yourself, as I've said before.

==== 01:19:22 More On Nintendo ====

'''Chris:''' Yeah... but it's also- but it's also like you know uh, I thought, I thought yeah- pretty much uh, [[Reggie_Fils-Aimé]] uh, pretty much gave me a pretty much- a very aggressive talk down to about... the project's cancellation.

'''Julie:''' Hmm. Though Reggie is... the big cheese of Nintendo, you should try-

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Julie:''' -You should try... showing to Reggie that... you are just as capable... as anyone else at Nintendo.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. No I've made-

'''Julie:''' -Show 'em you can... show 'em you can, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUTl1vEG62Q as Reggie once said at E3 I believe? Show 'em you can kick arse and take names.]

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah. But I gotta be able to afford the trip first. Then I can show it- then I can show it to him. And uh, after you get here, you can help me with that.

'''Julie:''' I would love to help you with Sonichu. The game. I would love to help you. I honestly would.

'''Chris:''' And you know what else- and you know what else you can help me with in addition to that?

'''Julie:''' What?

'''Chris:''' [[sweetheart from the ground up|You can keep me emotionally sound... and secure.]]

'''Julie:''' I will, I promise I will.

'''Chris:''' Yeah uh, you know, I- [[BlueSpike|I like your voice]].

'''Julie:''' Ch-Chris. Maybe you should try writing a game design document. Like, all your plans for the game...

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Julie:''' -every plan for the game?

[''Chris and Julie talk over each other'']

'''Julie:''' -planning things out.

'''Chris:''' I have uhh some... story I- I have some ideas for stories and unlock-ables already... typed up.

'''Julie:''' Well if-if you-if you could type it up or just send it to me, maybe ref-refine it a bit, maybe... send it to me- maybe I can try and...

'''Chris:''' -yeah well it's not complete, well I mean I still have other story details to figure out. But-

'''Julie:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' It's till gonna be a while... for probably even that. And those ideas will be- pretty much will be translated into comics beyond [[Sonichu_10|book number ten]].

==== 01:21:40 About The Next Comic ====

'''Julie:''' Hmm. Oh, that's another question- can I ask you something?

'''Chris:''' Yes?

'''Julie:''' About the next comic... do you think it'll take as long as the last one, or do you think it'll get here sooner?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Urgh, we'll see. Depends on how I feel.

'''Julie:''' I'll do everything in my power to help you.

[''sound of Windows beeping in the background'']

'''Chris:''' And I'll... greatly appreciate that.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. I should go, uhh... collect my thoughts about everything that we talked about, and... just go and give everything we talked about great consideration... and uh, big deal of thought.

'''Julie:''' A'right. Hey Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' Do you think you can come back here tomorrow for another private chat? I'd enjoy it if you could.

==== 01:22:48 From Behind The Mirror, Clyde Returns! ====

'''Clyde:''' Wow, I've been here the entire time... heh heh heh... under [[Vivian_Gee|my cousin's name]], of course. *tsk* And by the way, Julie- how'd you enjoy that Salesman-

'''Julie:''' Clyde, get out of here, you jerk!

'''Clyde:''' How did you enjoy that salesman?

'''Julie:''' How do you- how did you know?

'''Clyde:''' Guess who that was... [''whisper''] Guess who that was...!

'''Chris:''' Get outta here you jerk!

'''Julie:''' It's a troll! ... who was it?

'''Clyde:''' It was me! C'mon I was in- arrg, God, you irritate me sometimes! And next time... I'll bring my [[Megatron pistol|gun]].

'''Julie:''' [''whimpering''] Chris, I'm scared!

'''Chris:''' You leave her alone!

'''Clyde:''' You're all the way over there, what are you gonna do?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' [[Patti|I'll haunt your dreams]].

'''Clyde:''' I don't sleep.

'''Chris:''' [[Patti|I'll haunt you in your sleep]].

'''Clyde:''' I don't... sleep.

'''Chris:''' I'll haunt you at your every waking moment... in your- in the deep crevasses of your mind.

'''Clyde:''' That's all you're going to do? Do you want me to just kill Julie and say-

'''Julie:''' -Chris...!

'''Clyde:''' -I'll just haunt you in your dreams? [''cackles maniacally'']

'''Julie:''' [''sounding terrified''] He's gonna kill me Chris, help! Do something, please!

'''Chris:''' You leave her alone, you bastard.

'''Clyde:''' That's not gonna make me do anything. That's not gonna make me do anything.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Watch out-

'''Clyde:''' Are you going to run, Chris?

[''Julie begins crying and babbling in terror in the background'']

'''Clyde:''' That'll show me. Run away, run away! That'll do it!

'''Chris:''' I'm not running.

'''Clyde:''' What are you gonna do, Chris. What are you gonna do.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Chris? I'm worried...

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] I will be by your- I will always be by your side, Julie.

[''Clyde and Julie talk over each other'']

'''Clyde:''' You can't even make the trip to *Redmond*... You can't even make that trip!

'''Julie:''' He knows where I live- he has a gun- he's gonna kill me!

[''They stop'']

'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm worried for my life, you have to do something...! You said you'd protect me...!

'''Chris:''' I have God by my side.

'''Clyde:''' [''chuckles''] There is no God, Chris. What are you going to do?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I'll pray for Julie's safety. And I'll pray for you to... leave her alone. Ow. I'll definitely-

[''Julie whimpers and sobs in the background'']

'''Clyde:''' Praying... will do nothing, Chris. You couldn't even protect Sarah-! What makes you think you can protect Julie?

'''Chris:''' I'm offering... praying... is my way- is one way of offering... hope.

'''Clyde:''' Hope. Obama- and that will do nothing!-

'''Chris:''' -and piece of mind-

'''Clyde:''' -that will do nothing! ... maybe I should-

'''Chris:''' -it will-

'''Clyde:''' -just show up at her doorstep again.

[''pause'']

==== 01:25:40 Clyde and Chris Argue ====

'''Chris:''' Get outta here ya' bastard.

'''Clyde:''' That's all you're gonna say, g-

'''Julie:''' -Chris!-

'''Clyde:''' -et outta here, y-you're not going to protect Julie.

'''Chris:''' I'm prot-

'''Julie:''' -Chris!-

'''Clyde:''' Well I can see she- worth-

'''Chris:''' I am here. I will protect Julie.

'''Clyde:''' How?

'''Chris:''' You leave- you leave- you leave her alone.

'''Clyde:''' Your words do nothing. You haven't taken action in your life, have you?

'''Chris:''' I have taken more action than you have taken... anything.

'''Clyde:''' That didn't even make sense- when's the last time you been outside your house?

'''Chris:''' -terday.

'''Clyde:''' Doing what? Doing WHAT? At McDonald's? Buying your- whatever-

'''Julie:''' He was getting something for his mother, you JERK- something you probably never... did!

'''Chris:''' Yes, I was getting my mother a cup of coffee.

[''Clyde bursts into hysterical, maniacal laughter'']

'''Clyde:''' Ooooh my God, and tell me, tell me-

[''Chris and Clyde talk over each other- Clyde is inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' Well laugh now you bastard, but God will strike down, and smite thee.

'''Clyde:''' Smite me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' Okay, okay. Tell me what's the most... action thing you've ever done. I ran away from home, living on the streets and living in below-zero temperatures. What have you done, Chris?

[''Extremely long pause'']

'''Chris:''' I have stood up...

[''Chris and Clyde talk over each other again; again, Chris wins and Clyde can't be heard until the end'']

'''Chris:''' -for my friends. And myself.

'''Clyde:''' -am I right? Am I right?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' You are only... a single, solitary soul. With only as much power as the next one. You are only- you are only trying to talk down to me... and scare... me... and Julie, because you yourself are-

[''Transcriber's note: Chris made an insightful comment? Well, strike me dead.'']

'''Julie:''' -he IS scaring me!

'''Clyde:''' Yes, and you totally protected S-Sarah, didn't you?

'''Julie:''' [''frightened''] Chris, he knows where I live! He says he's gonna kill me! He has-

'''Clyde:''' Of course I know where you live.

[''pause'']

==== 01:28:03 Chris Stands Up To Clyde ====

'''Chris:''' All you're trying to do is just... make yourself- all you're trying to do is- trying to up yourself... make yourself feel superior, when clearly you are not.

'''Clyde:''' Clearly I am. I mean, come on. You can't even... tell me- you said you would like... fight me or something, you said you would inflict pain- c'mon man, you can't even like, I don't know, I don't know, like, any. I'm a little tired right now. Huh. I'm lost for words. There's-There's is no way to describe how pathetic you are. There is no way describe how pathetic you are.

'''Chris:''' You know what? You calling me pathetic is calling yourself... pathetic. You're about as pathetic as you are describing me as pathetic.

'''Clyde:''' ... what.

'''Chris:''' You're the pathetic one. [''pause''] 'cuz you called me the pathetic one.

'''Clyde:''' Wow, you really are autistic, aren't you.

'''Chris:''' I may be high functioning autistic... but I know... the mindset of the majority of people individually. I have seen [''Windows beeping''] a lot... in my lifetime. I have seen so much. [''pause''] And you are trying to scare me... with your own... infe-with your own... inferiority... and [[slow in the minds|slow wit]].

'''Clyde:''' What do you mean, slow wit? You're the one with autism!

'''Chris:''' You probably suffer from your own mental innis [sic] or physical ailment, don't you.

'''Clyde:''' No, not really. I'm damn good looking. I'm pretty sure you'd be dead gay for me.

'''Chris:''' I bet you're on drugs, aren't you.

'''Julie:''' Chris would never [''inaudible, something about being gay''], you jerk!

'''Chris:''' -okay Julie. I will never be turned.

'''Julie:''' Yeah but Chris he knows where I live, I- mmm... I'm scared.

'''Clyde:''' I'll plan a visit tomorrow okay, Julie? I'll plan a visit tomorrow.

'''Julie:''' Noo...!

'''Chris:''' You leave her alone!

==== 01:30:23 Russian Roulette ====

'''Julie:''' What are you gonna do? What are you going to do?

'''Clyde:''' I'm going to play Russian Roulette.

'''Julie:''' Ahh...! Chris!

'''Clyde:''' You know what that is? I put a bullet... in a gun. For a thrill thing. Let's just see if she has the... luck, of an honest and pure girl.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] You know what? You've played Russian Roulette with yourself... I bet. And you've always come out at a loss...

[''Chris clearly has no fucking idea how Russian Roulette works.'']

'''Clyde:''' If I lost I would be dead. Y-You know what Russian Roulette is, right?

'''Chris:''' [''Chris tries to be deep and meaningful''] Ooooh, not loss- as in, loss of life... but loss. As in loss- of emotion, of-

==== 01:31:18 Clyde Is Crazy ====

'''Clyde:''' Okay, you know what- forget the Russian Roulette game, I'm just gonna shoot her, how about that?

'''Julie:''' [''fake sounding cries''] Chris! Help! ... Clyde, I'm warning you. My brother has-

'''Clyde:''' What are you gonna do, Julie? What are you gonna do.

'''Chris:''' Dude. She has her brother... to defend her.

'''Clyde:''' Uhh- Her- I've seen her brother, he's pathetic, I could easily kick his arse.

'''Julie:''' I doubt it.

'''Clyde:''' Wait what is?

'''Chris:''' Yeah well, you clearly underestimate a whole lot of people. So many-

'''Clyde:''' Uhh, no I haven't. I easily got rid of [[Robert Simmons V|Robert Simmons]], and I easily got rid of Sarah. I can do the same... again and again... and again and again and again. [''pause''] And again.

'''Chris:''' [[death threats|You really are a psychopath.]]

'''Clyde:''' [[Wikipedia:The Dark Knight (film)|Why so serious?]]

'''Chris:''' You... need to be put in an institution.

'''Clyde:''' Hehe, more like you need to be put in an institution. Hehe. I mean, you're obviously delusional- you really believe... that you- that you can smite me- and that you can stop me, with your words... you really think that.

'''Chris:''' I don't just think that... but I am confident.

'''Clyde:''' You say that you know that- that's just confidence. I know that Julie will be DEAD tomorrow.

'''Chris:''' And I know... that you... are already dead inside.

'''Clyde:''' Yes, I've been dead inside for quite some time, you were right about something. But I'm still living... in this little body of mine... and I will take Julie's... tomorrow.

'''Julie:''' Noo...!

'''Chris:''' You will not.

'''Clyde:''' You're right, you're right, I won't. I'll just leave her... I don't know. I don't know what I'll do.

'''Julie:''' What are you gonna do!?

'''Clyde:''' -she's a nice woman, she deserves to live. You don't, Chris- you don't deserve to live.

'''Chris:''' A'right if you've got the guts to say that, why don't you come over to my house in Ruckersville Virginia, you bastard?

'''Clyde:''' Why should I? I'd be making the game too easy. And I... why don't you come to me?

'''Chris:''' Oh. I could easily come to you. But the question is, are you... are you, so called, brave enough to actually come to the man who you think you could take down easily... but you obviously fear so much.

'''Clyde:''' You know the point of me doing this is so that you come to me, you do know that right?

[''pause'']

'''Clyde:''' What, are you going to hide behind your parents? Your mother and father will protect you- is that what's going to happen?

'''Chris:''' ... do not interrupt me, because I was at a trail of thought. [''pause''] Without me, your rage goes on without a point.

'''Clyde:''' W-Well yeah, that's the point. My rage will die when you die. That's... kind of the point.

'''Chris:''' And then what would you do?

'''Clyde:''' And then I could feel at peace.

==== 01:35:05 Clyde's Backstory... ====

'''Chris:''' You would feel at peace, huh. Yet I bet- that actually you could say the same thing about somebody else who probably has abused you in your lifetime.

'''Clyde:''' No.

'''Chris:''' You said you ran away from home.

'''Clyde:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Was it something- was it- did you run away from home because your mother, or your father, or maybe both of them... was- was uhh, abusing you?

'''Clyde:''' It was nothing like that, it was for a girl. That was a pretty bad lead in my opinion, but I've gotten over that. I'm here. And I want to do something terrible. I should write down my plan, right now.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

[''pause'']

'''Clyde:''' So what are you gonna do. Whatcha gonna do.

[''long pause'']

'''Clyde:''' Nothing apparently.

'''Chris:''' No...! I am going to do something.

'''Clyde:''' Go to McDonald's?

'''Chris:''' No.

'''Julie:''' Chris, you really need to do something, I'm scared!

[''long pause'']

'''Chris:''' I'm doing something Julie. I'm standing up for you.

'''Julie:''' Yes, but he knows where I live!

'''Clyde:''' I bet you can't even stand up, could you? Ha ha ha...

'''Chris:''' You just leave- you leave her alone. You let- you let- you let her live, you leave her... physically unharmed. Cuz', just as easily, I can call the police on you.

'''Clyde:''' A'right, do it. [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' I will tell 'em the whole story. About you, and [[Ryan Cash|Ryan]], and uh- what you did... they can- they can and will find you.

'''Clyde:''' Well, a'right, look. My actual house is in Australia, a'right? But you're not gonna find anything there- you're just gonna find... woo. A bunch of weed I left back there, okay? I mean, you're gonna hide behind the police... and that's not gonna do anything because, you know, I am in America so- they aren't gonna do anything.

'''Chris:''' Yeah well, let me ask you something. How could you afford... a trip to... Australia and back with every fare you could go quickly.

'''Clyde:''' It's called an inheritance. An inheritance. An inheritance.

'''Chris:''' You ran away from home, how did you inherit something?

'''Clyde:''' Of course, I'm not a stupid person. I made up with my parents before they mysteriously died for some reason.

'''Chris:''' I'm taking a [[Pocket knife|stab]] at this, but you killed them?

'''Clyde:''' No. They uh... carbon monoxide.

'''Chris:''' [''Chris sounds triumphant''] Carbon monoxide.

'''Clyde:''' It's some- ruhg. Look, never mind, you're too stupid to figure this out.

'''Chris:''' No, I am not stupid. I have- I have perfectly... understanding... what carbon monoxide is.

'''Clyde:''' Then what is it?

'''Chris:''' It's a poisonous gas.

'''Clyde:''' Where do you think that normally comes from? There's so many general- hehehe... accidental carbon monoxide poisonings.

'''Chris:''' [[autism|I can obviously tell because uh- you definitely killed them with your c- with the carbon monoxide, because you are putting so much emphasis on accidental.]] You can set it- you can set it- you have obviously set up something that would... LEAK. The carbon monoxide... and kill your parents. What did you have against your parents?

'''Clyde:''' Man you jump to conclusions... like a [[wikipedia:Office_Space|jump to conclusions mat]]. You seriously need help, you autistic fuck.

'''Chris:''' Oh- *I'M* the one who jumps to conclusions? Well you jump to- you jump to conclusions of me being [[Chris and English|uncapable]] of doing anything.

==== 01:39:46 Chris Won't Leave His Filthy Shithole ====

'''Clyde:''' You are uncapable [sic] of doing anything, I know that. [''pause''] What, am I right? Am I right? Just admit it. [''pause''] Oh God- every single woman, you wanted them to come to your house, you wanted... Sarah to come to your house, you wanted Julie to come to your house, you are so lazy- why don't you leave your house? [[obesity|And drop a few pounds]].

'''Julie:''' God, stop it! That's enough!

'''Clyde:''' It's true isn't it, Julie, though? Is it true?

'''Julie:''' No it's not, you're lying, stop it!

'''Clyde:''' He is lazy. He's not going to come to you, you have to come to him- you have to sacrifice everything. He just sits at home and... you know... plays his PS3.

'''Julie:''' You're lying!

'''Clyde:''' -plays his PS3. Isn't that right?

'''Julie:''' Stop it!

'''Chris:''' Yes, you are lying.

'''Julie:''' Stop it!

'''Chris:''' Listen-

'''Clyde:''' -I'm right!

'''Julie:''' He IS lying.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, listen. Listen Clyde- if I could, I would come to- come to Julie personally, I would. But I have a lot at stake here. I leave- if I leave my house... a-and I mean, I don't know Julie's address. I don't know where she is right now. A-An if I had... and if I had- if I uh, had the address, I would most definitely go to her because she is- [''incomprehensible stammering, stress sigh''] -she would be there... to accept me. And let me in.

'''Julie:''' Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' I know... I know that I said I would like you to come to me, but... I feel it would be better for you if I went to your house. That was my decision. I would... like to go to your place.

'''Chris:''' Thank you, Julie. I appreciate that but- I'm jus- I'm just letting you know...

'''Julie:''' Actually, Chris-

'''Clyde:''' NO. I will never-

'''Julie:''' This is actually a very hard choice-

'''Clyde:''' No... Julie, I'm not going to let you-

'''Julie:''' ... this is actually a choice...

'''Clyde:''' -never going to let you leave.

'''Julie:''' CLYDE! Fine.

'''Chris:''' SHUT THE FUCK UP.

'''Clyde:''' No. I won't.

'''Julie:''' Chris... I need to think about this. I will think about this. Who's going to go where.

'''Clyde:''' You can't think while you're dead, you know that right?

'''Julie:''' This is... this is a somewhat hard choice for me to make, Chris. But I assure you- something will be done.

'''Clyde:''' You're going to let them [''inaudible''], let them walk out, sacrifice her safety... just for you? Ooooh- you ARE pathetic man, you know that, right?

[''sound of random junk bumping around, an occasional stress sigh, long pause'']

==== 01:42:56 More Insults ====

'''Chris:''' I tell you what. You, Clyde... are so small.

'''Clyde:''' More insults. That's going to stop me. You're gonna hurt my feelings so much I'm just... stay inside my hotel, and-

'''Chris:''' I don't have-

[''Chris, Julie and Clyde talk over each other- only Chris is audible'']

'''Chris:''' I don't have- I don't have-

'''Julie:''' Chris-

'''Chris:''' I don't have to hurt your feel-

'''Julie:''' What do you think about what I said? Do you agree with what I said Chris?

'''Chris:''' Y-yeah. I-I hear you, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Thank you.

'''Chris:''' Y-yeah. Anyway. You are small... [''stress sigh''] You think you can talk down... to anybody. You feel superior. When clearly, you are not. So therefore, you are definitely the small one in this room.

'''Clyde:''' Why am I pathetic? That I actually went out the world, saw everything...

'''Chris:''' I-It's because-

'''Clyde:''' -instead of playing my PS3.

'''Chris:''' Because you stooped so low... to try and hurt other people, to try and make yourself feel better. That... is pathetic. Thinking that... hurting others... will compensate for anything, for the better, when clearly it does not.

'''Troll:''' [''whisper''] AOmm....

==== 01:44:23 Chris Tries To Monologue Clyde To Death ====

'''Chris:''' All it does is just... [''whisper''] hurts... [''normal''] the other people, and it hurts yourself further... because... you hurt... others, against God's will, and you can only... try to tone that pain down... with your own self abuse... in your- with your- in your own... weed... and whatnot. That- that's just sad. You have my PITY. [''pause''] You have my pity, Clyde. And I'm sorry that- I'm sorry that Ryan... committed suicide over the one mistake I made in protest of that ED page... but you do not need to harm anybody, you do not need to kill anybody, because all that will do is just hurt yourself further. Because after your- after your supposedly... you supposedly did this revenge act, then what would you do? You don't- you don't know. But you say yourself, that you will be at peace-

'''Clyde:''' Exactly! That- that's my goal, to be at peace!

'''Chris:''' But does it really... fulfill... your emotional needs-

'''Clyde:''' Yeah. Yeah, it does. It really does.

'''Chris:''' It does- it will not. [[death threats|Harming others does not accomplish anything.]]

'''Clyde:''' Chris, you know all about harming others. You harm people every day. Your parents have to support you, every single day, they hurt inside. They hurt so much.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I know they hurt. And I feel their pain.

'''Clyde:''' You are the CAUSE of their pain. They probably regret birthing you every single day.

'''Chris:''' They do not. They appreciate it. They appreciate every moment. They have put so much time and effort in me- transforming me from... a mental nu- a mental case... to a- to a social pers- to a social butterfly... who can do s- who can do so much more than any other low-functioning autistic person can ever do. And for one thing? If they had not raised me the way they did, I would not be on the Internet, talking to... [[trolls|all the people]] I have been talking to. [[Chris and his ego|I am a warrior in my own rights]] and my own personality.

'''Clyde:''' So that's why your parents got you that [[abusive babysitter|babysitter]]... to GIVE you your autism in the first place, isn't it?

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Clyde, I think that's enough.

'''Clyde:''' No, I want him to answer this.

'''Chris:''' It's okay Julie. They did not know better about the babysitter. How could they?

'''Clyde:''' Alright.

'''Chris:''' Nobody but- It's not like uh, they knew the mindset of the babysitter. Nobody knows the mindset of any individual right off the bat. They have to get to- They have to actually take a little time to see inside them for how good or bad a person they are. And that takes a lot of time and energy. And my mother and father, in my lifetime, saw so much good in me, and all- I have been- and all I have shown for them was a lot of- was a lot of equal good. Some mistakes were made, yes. And I will not deny it, but I appreciate my mother and father, every day of my life. Because without them, I would not be a mainstream socially acceptable kind of man that I am today.

'''Clyde:''' Let me tell you, let me ask you something from your brother, uhh, [[Cole Smithey]], I believe.

'''Chris:''' Half.

'''Clyde:''' He said your parents, Bob and Barbara, met at a bar. And they concepted you out of a drunken stupor.

'''Chris:''' What.

'''Clyde:''' Your parents birthed you because they were drunk. They didn't know what they were doing.

'''Chris:''' They were not-

'''Clyde:''' gave birth to a failure like you.

'''Chris:''' Listen, they were not drunk. They were-

'''Clyde:''' Ask them about it. Cole Smithey told you years ago to ask them about it but you never did, did you? Why don't you go ask them?

==== 01:49:20 Sex in the City, you Faggot ====

'''Chris:''' You listen to me. Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. It- I was truly a miracle. It's like, I'm just like a man with only one ball and a woman with only one ovary. Which by the way, I picked that up from an episode of [[Homos|Sex in the City]].

'''Clyde:''' Wuh- that's nice that you watch Sex in the City. You faggot. Anyway, ahhh-

'''Chris:''' Anyway-

'''Clyde:''' Sex in the City is for girls, you do know that right?

'''Chris:''' I feel that- that shows that are supposedly aimed for girls are- are best- are best set for- are best viewable by those of both genders. Because men can attribute very well- very- in a positive way emotionally from such emotionally enriching programs. And also, less wars would be caused if men were more emotionally [''audio break''] -iked as such- more emotionally caring and understanding. Like women are.

==== 01:50:51 War! ====

'''Clyde:''' You do know wars have been caused for political reasons, not because men don't care. It's not about “ease of mental understanding feelings”, it's because of political gain. Power and corruption. What is wrong with you?

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Those people who have fought for power are clearly, were clearly not very well off themselves because they had to hide behind power themselves. So many people hid behind- hide behind one thing or another. I don't have to hide behind anything to prove myself. Anything or anyone.

[''Julie makes moaning noises in the background as Chris talks'']

'''Clyde:''' You do know that uh, even Hitler had a girlfriend?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I have heard that.

==== 01:51:53 Chris sucks ====

'''Clyde:''' My god Chris. Do you not understand? You are pathetic. Completely pathetic. Apparently- I'm surprised you managed to get three women interested in you. And yet you're not going to do anything. Come on Julie. If you stick with this man you will be making the worst mistake of your life.

'''Chris:''' Wu- well-

'''Julie:''' That's not true!

'''Clyde:''' Name three redeeming qualities that Chris has.

'''Julie:''' There are too many to name! There are so many, I would have to make a lot of paragraphs all about them. And every quality he has is why I like him. And love him. So step off.

'''Clyde:''' Okay, Chris, let me tell you something. Where do you think Autism comes from?

'''Chris:''' Scientifically speaking it has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic.

'''Clyde:''' [''furious''] Then why do you say a babysitter did it?! That's not drugs or uh, whatever the other thing you said. Genetics!

'''Chris:''' The ba- ba- stop. The babysitter locked me in a room by myself. Without anybody else to play with or socially interact with. That's just, that's just a real-life event that brought out the uh, curse that was buried within me. From the genetics, or the uh, medication.

'''Clyde:''' Stop lying to me. You don't have autism, you're just using it as an excuse to blame all your problems.

'''Chris:''' I have- I have [[Autism papers|medical papers]] I have, that prove- that prove that I was- that I did have autism. That's-

'''Clyde:''' [''interrupting''] That was in the [[1980s]]. Get a REAL diagnosis!

==== 01:53:57 Suddenly Chris loses the plot ====

'''Chris:''' My first word- I said my first word when I was two weeks old.

'''Clyde:''' Impossible. No man can learn a language that fast.

'''Chris:''' Believe it or not, I was in my mother's arms, and there was a woman witness aside from my mother, and I said “monkey”.

'''Clyde:''' [''laughing''] Are you sure you didn't say “McDonald's”?

'''Chris:''' I was trying to say mommy, but instead I said monkey.

'''Clyde:''' Okay. If you get a real diagnosis, like now, you know what they'll call you? They'll just call you an idiot. Cuz that's what you are. You don't have autism, don't blame it on that.

'''Chris:''' You're right. I don't have to blame everything on autism. But I am and was- I was at least. And I am a man, and I have recovered beyond- from beyond that. I have come out of my own autistic shell. And have- and have conquered so many boundaries that any low-functioning autistic person would only be too scared to leap over.

'''Clyde:''' [''Enraged''] They are not scared! What is wrong with you?! They have actual mental issues! You don't!

'''Chris:''' Right, they were inhibited. But I have conquered my inhibitions. You're right, I should not have to blame my autism. Because clearly I have conq- clearly I have overcome it.

'''Clyde:''' You didn't overcome anything. You were just lazy from the start. You didn't want to make friends, you just said “Oh they're gay, I don't want to be their friend”. You know high-functioning autism is a lie, it's a complete lie.

'''Chris:''' It may be a lie from your point of view,

'''Clyde:''' It's not a point of view, it's fact, it's fact.

'''Chris:''' Maybe from your point of view, but-

'''Clyde:''' I just said not point of view! It's a fact.

'''Chris:''' It may be. But it describes an origin.

==== 01:56:37 The terrible truth of High-Functioning Autism ====

'''Clyde:''' Look- look it up yourself! Look up high-functioning autism. Who actually agrees with it? No one! Only actual autism or that Asperger's thing, but no such thing as high-functioning autism. No such thing.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh, pause'']

'''Clyde:''' As I said, get a real diagnosis! Now! And see what they say about you.

'''Chris:''' I may consider that.

'''Clyde:''' Don't consider it, do it. I want you to know the truth. Maybe then I won't hurt Julie. We'll make a deal. I won't hurt her if you just do my demands. And they're simple demands, not crazy stupid ones.

'''Julie:''' Chris, please.

'''Clyde:''' What's that Julie? You want him to do it?

'''Julie:''' I just want you to leave me alone Clyde!

'''Clyde:''' I will! If Chris does what I ask.

'''Chris:''' Alright. I will see- I will look into getting a more updated diag- analysis of my autism.

'''Clyde:''' Chris, that means that I think you're gonna be lying again. And you know how much I hate lies.

'''Chris:''' Clyde, I tell you nothing but the truth.

'''Clyde:''' You have been lying this whole time.

'''Chris:''' Well, as far as my autism goes, we shall soon see. I will find somebody to test me, and we will soon see what it says on the paper.

'''Clyde:''' Okay. Look it up on Wikipedia. High-functioning autism, right now. I want you to look that up. Alright?

'''Chris:''' Fair enough.

'''Clyde:''' See the part were it says “Classification”? It's not a recognized diagnosis.

[''annoying loud clattering as Chris types'']

'''Chris:''' I'm typing it.

'''Clyde:''' -As said in the 1980s as a crazy voodoo economics blah blah blah. Okay? You get a real diagnosis. This to why. This it doesn't exist anymore, today's society.

'''Chris:''' Hmm, say that again?

'''Clyde:''' Read the part where it says classification. Read it. Read it to me. If you can read.

'''Chris:''' It says here it's not a recognized diagnosis in the DSM, oh, Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

'''Clyde:''' Exactly! It's not recognized.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Clyde:''' So do you know what that means Chris?

'''Chris:''' [''brief pause''] Give me a moment and I will answer that question. I wish to read further in this document.

'''Clyde:''' It's a simple sentence with simple comprehension! It's not a- it's not a recognized diagnosis. So what does that mean? That they diagnosed you with something that doesn't exist!

[''All quiet on the Weston front. Finally Chris speaks.'']

'''Chris:''' Alright. From this, from the one sentence, in this said I was never with a mental block.

'''Clyde:''' Exactly. You never had a mental block.

'''Chris:''' Fine. I agree.

'''Clyde:''' Now why do you blame everything on your autism when you don't have it? What was really stopping you Chris?

[''Very long pause, approximately fifty seconds. Occasional typing in the background.'']

'''Clyde:''' Maybe you should... make a video... to your so-called fans. Maybe that'll help you stop me. You think that'll stop me? No, it won't.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. A'right, so what- so to answer your question... the only thing that was stopping- the only thing that was stopping me from... this, was... because I was- I was- I was less able to... interpret non-verbal cues.

'''Clyde:''' W-W-What are you talking about. Look, I mean, come on man- you're 26 years old, you live with your parents, and now you don't have this mental block- what are you gonna blame it on? You can't get it- you don't have a job, I-I-even if you were given all the money in the world, you wouldn't be able to figure out how to rent an apartment. You wouldn't even know how to cook, you don't know how to clean, you are a pathetic excuse for a man.

=== 02:03:09 Chris is Educated On Cooking, Living in Filth ===

'''Chris:''' Sir! I will have you know that in high school I took two home economics classes, so I am very well educated- so I am educated on cooking. And, I have been cleaning... a whole bunch of [[chandler cats|cat poo]]. As well as some cat pee. And recently, when I overflowed a commode I had to clean some of the wat- a little bit of the water that ha- that was on the floor, with floral nine and paper towels. Aaand I am capable-

[''Clyde appears to have some kind of laughter based seizure in the background'']

'''Chris:''' I am capable of loading the washing- the uh, washing machine, with clothes of a white- or a [[niggos|colored]]... and put in some laundry d- and put in some laundry detergent from... a single [[fapcup|cup]]... out of a whole box, close the lid, and start the washing machine. And then transfer everything to the drier... and start the drier. And also I am capable of loading the dishwasher... with the dishes... on the bottom and the cups- and the cups and the mugs on the top rack... putting some powdered detergent in there... and starting the dishwasher. I am also capable of uh... using of a- hand washing the uh dishes, the cloth- the wash- the- the dish cloths and such... I am also capable of uh, taking the garbage bags out of the garbage can... and putting an empty garbage bag into the garbage can... and taking the garbage- taking the garbage bag... taking the bags full of garbage up to the top of the hill, to be burned in the barrel. And also, the cans will be- will be- will be in the c- will be in the bags, and they go to the [[recycling]] facility.

[''Chris seems very impressed with his remarkably mundane list of abilities'']

'''Clyde:''' Congratulations! You can do anything that a normal person can do. I con- [''sound of windows beeping in the background''] -[[Count Graduon|gradulate]] you. [''pause''] Lemme tell you something- you need two classes to tell you how to do that? God- you can't support yourself, you can't- you can't support a family. God you make me so angry.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Tell me, why do I make you angry?

'''Clyde:''' Because you are a pathetic excuse for a man. And I'm trying to protect these women, with, you know, whatever I have to do to get them away from you. That is why Sarah is no longer talking to you. I have convinced her that you are a pathetic excuse for a man, you can't do anything.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Clyde:''' And so far you haven't proven otherwise- you still live with your parents, you still don't have a job, you failed to go to Nintendo- I mean God, that was a golden opportunity and you failed miserably. So what do you have to say to that.

[''pause'']

==== 02:06:22 Paging Mr Floyd, Your Wall Is Back ====

'''Chris:''' I did not have the money to... make the trip, but-

'''Clyde:''' Because you do not have a job.

'''Chris:''' No, because- no, it was because I was compulsive with spending. And I did not... have enough saved at the moment. But I am s- but I am saving-

'''Clyde:''' How much do you have m- how much money do you have saved at the moment? How much money do you have saved, from what you get from the government. That's it. If you had a job, you would have plenty of money to go. You know that $300 is... barely anything for someone with a job.

'''Chris:''' $300 dollars. You're thinking I get $300 a month...

'''Clyde:''' You would get well more than that if you HAD A JOB! [''Clyde sounds enraged'']

'''Chris:''' [''smug''] I got news for you. I heard I'd get $800 a month.

'''Clyde:''' [''Clyde begins to crack''] God you- [''Windows beeping''] get- way more than $800 a month IF YOU HAD A JOOOOB.

[''pause'']
[[Image:wall.jpg|thumb|right|This is what Clyde is arguing against.]]
'''Chris:''' And it increases with every... year... on my birth month.

'''Clyde:''' You do realize that people make thousands more a month, with something called- [''deep intake of breath''] A JOOOOOOB!

'''Chris:''' I am aware of that. But I just do not feel... at the time... that I need to be... in a job, because, I am getting the money from the [[monthly tugboat|social security]]... and my fath- and my father's assured me that it's more than- that it's more than anyone can make... in a jooooob...

'''Clyde:''' Are you- are you- are you an IDIOT!? You could EASILY make more than $800 a month with a JOOOOOB. Look- I'm pretty sure you could make more on minimum wage!

'''Chris:''' Well that's just, pretty much, shows what you know. Have you ever had a job?

'''Clyde:''' Of course. I've had [sic] one right now. A driving job. Where I drive people around tonnes of places. Sure, gas is expensive, but I make more than enough. And I love driving, it's my favorite thing- [''Clyde's voice becomes stalkerish''] I love it so much.

'''Chris:''' I mean- lemme- lemme ask. Limo... or taxi?

'''Clyde:''' It's my own, personal, driving business.

'''Chris:''' I see. Hmm.

==== 02:08:44 Chris's Skills ====

'''Clyde:''' You can make your own job. If it's a service people want. Which is more than I can say for [''inaudible''], there's tons of people without cars. And I get get them places. So Chris- what are your skills? What can you do?

[''significant pause'']

'''Chris:''' Actually I'd say basically I'm... [[obesity|all-round]]. But you see, that's a problem- I have too many... skills that I am good at. You might say-

'''Clyde:''' [''Clyde seems naturally incredulous and angry''] If you're so good at them, then get a job in ANY ONE of those skills. C'mon!

'''Chris:''' You might- you might say I'm a jack of all trades... and master of none.

'''Clyde:''' Then get something with minimum wage- c'mon man, that is th- that is the worst excuse I've ever heard. [''Clyde adopts a mocking tone''] I'm too GOOOOD for all these things, I'm not gonna get a job! [''normal voice''] That is the worst excuse I've ever heard.

[''pause, large amount of background noise and static'']

'''Chris:''' I am cap- I am capable... and willing... to get a job... whenever I want to. But I just want to make sure that I have a job where I would feel... most comfortable- most comfortable... with [''Windows beeping''], where I would feel- where I would not feel that I was being... pigeoned-holed for my skills... and that I was making fu- that I was making good use of my uh- skills as well. And-

'''Clyde:''' No you don't.

'''Chris:''' And defin- and also... make enough- make if possible, over a thousand a month.

'''Clyde:''' You could easily make over a thousand a month. I mean, Christ man, you have two degrees in this CAAAAAAAAD thing, right?

'''Chris:''' [''smug''] I have earned those, yes. It's-

'''Clyde:''' What have you done with those? What have you DONE.

'''Chris:''' [''smug, bragging''] I have designed the [[CWCville Shopping Mall|CWCville shopping center]].

'''Clyde:''' Show me. Show me this. Show me. I'd love to see it.

'''Chris:''' It would take a whole bunch of scanning.

'''Clyde:''' You've got time. Send it to me. You know my e-mail- you know, GREGG MAYS- with three g's. And what else have you done with your degree?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I have put more perspective into my artwork. And my creativity.

'''Clyde:''' What do you get from your artwork? NOTHING. You don't get money from your artwork.

'''Chris:''' Maybe not, but it was uh- but it is- it is something that is capable of... enjoying. At my own personal pace.

====02:11:41 Clyde Loses It ====

'''Clyde:''' No- I am also capable of enjoying blowjobs, okay? But doesn't mean- I CAN'T MAKE MONEY OFF THAT. [''pause, quietly''] In fact that costs me.[''normal''] But ANYWAY. [''dramatic''] What... can you do... that makes... MONEY. You are a PARASITE on America's teat [''inaudible'']. You just LEACH off the government, getting money that- those who- money just because you're autistic- WHICH YOU ARE NOT. You're just leaching off the government. [''pause''] People with actual jobs support your lazy arse.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I am capable of... standing up... and supporting myself, wh- when I am... when I am ready to. But I like to feel like I-

'''Clyde:''' [''exploding''] You're 26 years old, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT READY?!

'''Chris:''' I like to feel like I have a woman by- by my side to help me make sound decisions. [''digital sound in the background''] At the right time.

'''Clyde:''' Spoiler alert: you're never going to get a woman. [''pause''] You know what? You wouldn't even like it-

'''Julie:''' Yes he will! Me!

'''Clyde:''' Be quiet. I'm talking, Julie. I'm trying to tell you-

'''Julie:''' No!

'''Chris:''' -how pathetic he is, you need to see what this man-

'''Julie:''' No! No!

'''Clyde:''' -is the worst mistake of your life!

'''Julie:''' You're a jerk!

'''Clyde:''' No- no. I'm trying to help him. You know my cousin [[Vivian Gee|Vivian]]? She's been trying to help this fool... and guess what? Nothing has worked. [''Clyde stammers uncontrollably''] -get actual help. What have you done, Chris- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.

'''Chris:''' [''smug''] I... am seeing my pastoral counselor. [[Rocky Shoemaker]]... on a weekly basis.

'''Clyde:''' And how has she helped your life?

'''Chris:''' She is helping me grab a more s- stable, s-sense in my mind, and capable of uh understanding... [''another, identical digital sound''] p-pieces of my... pieces... around here and there.

'''Clyde:''' That doesn't make SENSE! See an ACTUAL psychologist.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Well. She may- she is- she may not have a degree in psychology, but I feel that her work is greatly... greater that w-w-w-wait a minute, lemme rephrase that. [''muttering''] Gimme a moment... [''sharp intake of air, normal voice''] She is... wonderful. And... certainly more than any... $25 an hour-per-visit psychologist can do. And I have seen a $25 dollar an hour psychiatrist... Dr Price. I forgot his first name.

[''Chris confuses a psychologist, someone who simply councils their patient, with a psychiatrist; someone who can provide the aforementioned council but may also prescribe powerful anti-psychotic and anti-convulsive medication. Reference: http://depression.about.com/cs/psychotherapy/f/psychologist.htm . It's interesting to wonder which one he actually saw, especially since the name of the doctor on his [[autism papers]] isn't Price, it's probably not the same doctor. As for the first name of the doctor who treated him, all signs point to [http://www.vitals.com/doctors/Dr_Douglas_B_Price.html Douglas].'']

'''Clyde:''' And what did this... Price guy... do?

'''Chris:''' When I was... when I was required by [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]... or more specifically, the real life [[Mary Lee Walsh]]... to uh, see Dr Price... he helped me sort out some [[chris and anger|anger management]] i- sort out some anger management issues I had... at that time. And also allowed me to- and also helped me... in... putting my sweetheart search in perspective. And how to improve on that... and I think uh, that from his help I was able to uh... more comfort- more comfortably at my own pace actually make some good- make a good- good number of gal-pals and then find uh, and then eventually find one that uh, would be my true sweetheart.

'''Julie:''' And it'll be me, Clyde. Don't you think otherwise you jerk!

[''pause'']

==== 02:15:34 Clyde Can't Beat The Wall ====

'''Clyde:''' [''stress sigh''] Uhgh... I've got nothing. I- I can't even begin to describe how pathetic you are.

'''Chris:''' You see-

'''Julie:''' He's rubber you're glue, everything you say bounces offa him and sticks to you.

'''Clyde:''' Chris used that insult a while ago. That- insults do nothing. I'm citing some real life things I know about Chris, and I'm using it against him, I mean- you say that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED page]] is full of lies but every single thing on it is true. I know the people there. I know who [[Blanca]] is. [''whisper''] I know all these people. [''normal''] Yet you seem... urgh. You think that ED twists your words around- they're YOUR WORDS. People are just interpreting as such.

'''Chris:''' [''smug''] Exactly. MIS-interpreting them.

==== 02:16:27 Chris Doesn't Know Why Megan Left ====

'''Clyde:''' They are YOUR WORDS. I mean, why do you think [[Megan]] left? Why do you think Megan left.

[''long pause'']
[[Image:ShecameforCWC_(200803).JPG|thumb|right|Some of Chris's tender honesty.]]
'''Chris:''' I CAN answer that... and I am just try- and I am trying to think- and I am thinking... of a good way... to phrase it. In my own a- in my own honest and [[Chris and his ego|humble]] opinion. [''long pause''] Simply put I was... very- I was... emotional. And I tried to outreach- I tried to reach out for her in an emotional sense... with... tender- with [[Rape|tender honesty]]... and uh... a gentle... hand on the shoulder... apparently I got to close. And she felt uncomfortable, and she just forced me away.

'''Clyde:''' [''furious''] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|YOU DREW A PICTURE OF YOU HAVING SEX WITH HER.]] What is wrong with you!

'''Chris:''' That was... after the ED page, and I did that in protest against it.

'''Clyde:''' [''angry''] That doesn't even make sense! You drew that out of your... God, I don't even know- wanna think... sexual deviant. That is why Megan left you, because you are way too fucking creepy for her. She put up with you for [[Megan Saga|two years]] while you touched her and... GOD, I don't wanna think about it. So for two years she put up with you. And what do you do? You draw a picture of you having sex with her.

'''Chris:''' For your information, it's hard to tell, because... I had her- I had her eyes... censored. Just like you would see on any television... program. Of-

'''Clyde:''' Chris-

'''Chris:''' -that sort.

[[Image:crumple-lope.jpg|thumb|right|The Crumple-lope, or as the State of Virginia will one day refer to it as, 'Exhibit A'. This is where the remains of Chris's horrible drawing presumably lie.]]
'''Clyde:''' You... told her. That it was her. She knew that it was you. It's just between you, and Megan- it doesn't have anything to do with anyone else, that ED, no trolls, [''inaudible''] -have lost, whatever. It's between you and Megan. You screwed it up. You're the only one to blame.

'''Chris:''' Yes. I made the mistake. [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|I do not deny it]]. And I blame myself for uh, having drawn that picture. In fact... I have actually done it up into bits and pieces, and I have the pieces tucked away in a crumple-lope [''sic. Presumably he means envelope.'']. That one drawing.

'''Clyde:''' You know what? That's an improvement. That is something of an improvement. But that still doesn't make up for everything else you've done.

'''Chris:''' [''massive stress sigh''] I will not-

'''Clyde:''' Lemme tell you something. Why do you hate [[homos|gay people?]] You know [''voice goes to a whisper''] [[Vivian Gee|my cousin]] is the biggest... lesbian. [''normal voice''] So why do you hate them?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' That is... I just do. I have had the bad experiences, against... I forget his last name at the moment. But- he was the Principal at- Oh yes. Doctor Johnson of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Nathanael Greene Elementary.]] The principle. He was a h- he was uh, the homo... that pretty much set me against... the homos and further kept me on the [[homo#fear of becoming a homo|straight path]]. And plus, if I was ever a ho- if I was ever- if I ever, if I were ever... had any attractions to the men, then I would be uh- more inclined to associate with them, but I have rarely associated with a man. I've felt more comfortable with the women. And-

[[File:Asperchu Principal Parody.JPG|thumb|right|After Chris told [[Alec]] about Principal Johnson, it was parodied in [[Asperchu]].]]

[''Clyde talks over Chris'']

'''Clyde:''' Chris, that is a lie. That is a lie.

==== 02:20:15 Chris Stacks Lies On Lies ====

'''Chris:''' I've felt more attracted... to...

'''Clyde:''' Chris, did you watch the Super Bowl?

'''Chris:''' I did not watch the Super Bowl.

'''Clyde:''' With your male friends- COME ON. Just because they're your friends doesn't mean it has to be GAY.

'''Chris:''' I guess-

'''Clyde:''' Just because one. Bad. Person. Just ruined it, doesn't mean every single person is bad. Just like Mary Lee Walsh is a terrible woman doesn't mean all women are bad, right?

'''Chris:''' I guess... [''pause''] Yes. I agree with you with that statement.

'''Clyde:''' [''annoyed''] So why do you hate them so much?

'''Chris:''' I never really said... that I hated them. That is another misinterpretation-

'''Clyde:''' [''explodes''] YES YOU DID, [[CWC_Update_30_January_2009|YOU SAID IT IN YOUR VIDEOS]], DON'T LIE TO ME! ... lies.

'''Chris:''' Okay well, okay, I was misunderstood. I may have chosen a wrong choice of words.

'''Clyde:''' [''furious, quoting Chris''] ''I HATE THEM''. HOW... ELSE...! HOW CAN YOU MIS- DAAAAAAGOD! That is just BLATANT HATRED. That is just blatant hatred.

'''Chris:''' It was obviou-

'''Clyde:''' Then why did you-

'''Chris:''' It was obviously misplaced rage.

'''Clyde:''' For a thing that happened to you years ago.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Clyde:''' You can't blame- you blame that principle all you want, I agree with you on that. If they feed you something terrible, then that's fine. But way you can hate EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON.

'''Chris:''' You are right! I do not hate every single... person. I mean, I will respect... and only respect... my fellow maaan. And, pretty much acquaint to [''sic'']... only friends- only friends with a man. I am willing to associate... with my- with my fellow man. [''pause''] But fo- but fortunately God has blessed me with a majority of [[Gal-pals|female friends]], to show me that... to show me how to get to [''sic''] more in touch with my emotions because... if you- if you notice in the definition of autism, defini- er- er-... [''stress sigh''] We have- we autistics have a lack... in the uh non-verbal... non-verbal communications and misinterpreting them... and with that we are unable-

'''Clyde:''' [''furious again''] I JUST SAID YOU WEREN'T AUTISTIC. You aren't! That is a lie! You're- [''Windows beeping''] blaming autism AGAIN.

'''Chris:''' I am not blaming my autism. I'm just describing... a couple of traits among the autistic people.

'''Clyde:''' Which you aren't. [''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah w-w... autistic people also... have the inability-

'''Clyde:''' -which I just said you AREN'T. So why are you bringing it up?

[''The Wall keeps talking, simply ignoring Clyde'']

'''Chris:''' ... the inability to express their emotions... soundly. With- without understanding.

==== 02:23:23 Clyde Demands A Video ====

'''Clyde:''' A'right. Listen to me- I'll give you a two day reprieve. Just make a video to YouTube. Three minutes, [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_February_5th,_2009|proclaiming your love for men. how gay you are]], and I'll give you a three day break. You try to save Julie. Well I guess [''inaudible''] or something. If you don't do it within the next-

'''Julie:''' Wait- wait!

'''Clyde:''' THREE hours... I will- w-well, we'll see Julie's funeral... in a few weeks, then. A'right? You understand me?

'''Julie:''' Oh god-!

'''Chris:''' -you shut up-

'''Julie:''' -oh GOD!

'''Chris:''' Clyde, you shut up. I'm straight.

[''Clyde, Julie and Chris all talk at once; this is all I can make out'']

'''Chris:''' I will never be-

'''Clyde:''' -make a video to YouTube, I will destroy your image.

'''Julie:''' Chris, I think he means it!

[''They stop talking over each other'']

'''Clyde:''' And if you don't do it? I will... I don't wanna kill Julie. Just... maybe just cut off an arm.

'''Chris:''' You leave her alone.

[''Julie begins to cry in the background'']

'''Julie:''' Chris, please, Chris, he knows where I live!

'''Clyde:''' Well-

'''Chris:''' You leave Julie alone. I am straight-

'''Julie:''' He's going to do it! He's going to do it!

'''Chris:''' -and I will never admit the opposite.

'''Clyde:''' So you're not gonna make that video.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Make another reasonable request.

'''Clyde:''' That is a pretty reasonable request. I mean-

'''Chris:''' You're asking me- you're asking me-

'''Clyde:''' -you can always [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|take it back with another video!]]

'''Chris:''' Well I- you are asking me to [[List of Chris's lies|lie]]. Right off the bat, you are asking me to make a false-

'''Julie:''' Chris! You can just remove it after he sees it, can't you? As long as he sees it, you can remove it!

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Julie:''' I don't wanna lose my arm...!

'''Clyde:''' I'll take off a leg too, how about that?

'''Julie:''' Oh God...! Oh God Chris, I'm sorry, I just don't know what to do- I'm scared!

'''Clyde:''' So what's it gonna be... your image, or your woman?

[''long pause, approximately seven seconds'']

==== 02:25:14 What's It Gonna Be? ====

'''Chris:''' My... image. I will... sacrifice that.

[''Chris retardedly misunderstands the question. He was being asked which he would SAVE, not which he would SACRIFICE. Clyde begins to laugh hysterically.'']

'''Clyde:''' So you're gonna- you're going to heeeh... let her lose her aaarm-

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] No, I said I would sacrifice-

'''Clyde:''' -oooh what the fuuuuck!

'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] SHUT UP! [''normal''] I'm sacrificing my image.

'''Clyde:''' Ahhh. Okay. I thought you were THAT pathetic, for just a second. But you're a little bit above pathetic. Which I haven't come up for a word for that yet. Okay- three hours. Three minutes. If I don't see it then, I'll make some plans. And I feeear-

'''Chris:''' Charles[''sic?'']- specifically what you want me to say in the video...

'''Clyde:''' You're gay. How much you love men. How loooong you've been closeted... you pretend you have all these gal-pals but they're only to disguise your true nature. You've always been born this way. And it's all you have to say. [''pause''] And you better do it.

'''Chris:''' And I have three hours to come up with a three minute video-

'''Clyde:''' Yes... that's my request.

'''Chris:''' -of that sense. Very well.

'''Clyde:''' Well... I appear that I'm going to be banned from this server soon.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Sorry, can you repeat that?

'''Clyde:''' I'm going to be banned from this server soon. I fear it. Well- tootles. [''inaudible''] -smoke.

==== 02:26:32 Clyde Vanishes In A Puff Of Smoke, Some Dude Appears ====

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Julie I will make the video. I will abide with his request.

'''Julie:''' Chris... I think you might have saved my life. I am eternally grateful.

'''Chris:''' I am willing to sacrifice [''beep''] anything for my woman.

'''Julie:''' If there's anything you want me to do... for you.

'''Dude:''' Is Clyde in here?

'''Chris:''' No.

'''Julie:''' He's gone.

'''Dude:''' Was he in here?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Dude:''' If he's ever in here again, um- just find me? I-I'm the admin of the server. So I can-

'''Chris:''' Y-Yeah, it's okay this time.

'''Dude:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' He just wants me to lie.

'''Dude:''' Wait, what?

'''Chris:''' He wants me to lie in a video.

'''Dude:''' Lie about what?

'''Chris:''' About my orientation.

'''Dude:''' That's terrible. Why would w-w- don't do it, Chris!

'''Chris:''' I have to.

'''Dude:''' Why?

'''Chris:''' For Julie.

'''Dude:''' That's admirable I guess. I know you're a good person, Chris.

'''Chris:''' I'd rather lose my- I'd rather lose my image than a woman who cares about me very much. [''pause''] And uh, Julie?

==== 02:27:49 Taping His First Time ====

'''Julie:''' Yes?

'''Chris:''' [[For Julie's Eyes Only|We can vi- we can videotape... I would like it if we could videotape our first time together.]]

'''Julie:''' I would like that too, Chris.

'''Chris:''' I'm- I mean like, you know, over a- over my [[PSEye|PlayStation Eye]], and over with uh- with uh- with uh the [[Pickle|worst parts]] cut out, uh- I can upload that and uh... we'll undo that.

'''Dude:''' I'll leave you alone.

'''Chris:''' That's okay. [''More Windows beeping, ''pause''] Undo the lie I would have to tell.

'''Julie:''' All right- yes. Where would you upload it, exactly? The video of our first time?

'''Chris:''' I would add it to where like uh- I would put it in a good sense where it would stay, where would stay on the YouTube.

[''Transcriber's note: Such a video would almost certainly be immediately removed for Terms of Service violations, not that Chris would ever be concerned about the rules and regulations of the various free services he uses.'']

'''Julie:''' ... okay.

'''Chris:''' Julie?

'''Julie:''' Yes?

'''Chris:''' I love you.

'''Julie:''' I love you too, Chris.

'''Chris:''' And also, inform your [[Max|brother]]. About what I am going to do for you.

'''Julie:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' A'right. I'll talk to you later.

'''Julie:''' Okay Chris. Thank you.

[''Presumably, Chris leaves'']

==== 02:29:01 This Was A Triumph! ====

'''BlueSpike:''' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6ljFaKRTrI This was a triumph! I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my-]

[The trolls laugh over the top of each other uncontrollably. BlueSpike continues to sing Still Alive, and soon, all of the trolls all join in.]

'''Dude:''' Holy...! Holy shit!

'''Troll:''' Holy fuck!

'''BlueSpike:''' -satisfaction! Aperture Sci-

'''Troll:''' -satisfaction!

'''Troll:''' He he he!

'''BlueSpike:''' -we do what we must, because, we can!

'''Troll:''' Haaaa haaaaa!

'''Troll:''' Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha-

'''BlueSpike:''' -For the good of alll of us... for the ones who are dead!-

'''BlueSpike:''' -but there's no crying over every mistake-

'''Troll:''' .....................................every mistake-

'''BlueSpike:''' -you just keep on trying till you run out of-

'''Troll:''' -you just keep on trying till you run out of-

'''Troll:''' -you just keep- ha ha ha ha ha ha... out of-

[Tape runs out]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Mumble chats]]

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat 2]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 4|Mumble Chat 4]]|}}

2010-05-11T04:20:06Z

Shawths: /* Trolling Ideas */

Hi. I rolled back your edits on [[Wild Sonichu]] because I really don't think such an analysis can be backed up or justified. If we start putting Freudian analysis into everything, this place could get a little mucked up. Try to stick with broad/general speculations or more concrete examples. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 19:48, 27 November 2009 (CET)

==Chris and his psyche==

I think you're probably right about all that psycho-analysis on your talk page.

Does it merit an article? [[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 00:17, 7 February 2010 (UTC)

I figure that we could do a Chris and Authority article and maybe add some of my speculations to the Patti article.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:17, 7 February 2010 (UTC)

*Chris and authority is big one actually, I'm surprised it isn't around here. I might get on it at some point tonight. [[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 17:46, 7 February 2010 (UTC)
:*If I remember clearly, I have nuked "Chris and authority" because it sucked hard. Feel free to resurrect it if you can make it better. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:40, 7 February 2010 (UTC)
*Moarlurk, I'll let you get going on it- I'm not sure where to start with it...I'll certainly contrib though.[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 02:03, 8 February 2010 (UTC)

In these "final" hours, we have to up our viscousness. Send pizza, Chinese food, ambulances, hearses, prostitutes, driveway paving companies, ANY DISTURBANCE!--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 00:43, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

==Observation: Koopa/Bowser==
I noticed your confusion over how Bob kept calling Bowser "Koopa". Actually, that's not uncommon. Bowser's title has always been "King of the Koopas", but the name "Koopa" was more prevalent in the Mario cartoons (Super Mario Bros. Super Show, Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3 and Super Mario World) for some unknown reason. As well, I think Bowser's also been referred to as "Bowser Koopa" like how Princess Peach is now "Peach Toadstool". My guess is that Bob had seen some of the Mario cartoons in the past and (somehow) remembers the name Koopa more than Bowser.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 03:29, 11 February 2010 (UTC)
* In the Japanese version of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Bowser's name was Koopa. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 03:38, 11 February 2010 (UTC)

Ah. That makes sense. Wouldn't be surprised, either. I think Bob was already living off of his pension when Chris was young(this is likely where he thought that "stay at home dad" was acceptable) and watched TV with Chris sometimes(when he wasn't out doing something irresponsible).--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:57, 12 February 2010 (UTC)

== Your thoughts on snorlax ==

The concept that she intentionally fucked Chris up is horrifying. I'm pretty sure it's not quite as simple as that, but I get the sick feeling in my gut that you're at least partially right.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:27, 13 February 2010 (UTC)

The tragedy of all this is that just popped into my head while I was gauging her reaction to trolls. I'm calling it a Random-Access Horror.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:53, 13 February 2010 (UTC)

Moarlurk, the problem with trolling Snorlax is that she doesn't use the internet. What do we do? Do we have to go to Ground Zero, vandalize the house, maybe smash up the several rusty cars scattered across the lawn? we cannot do that Your method is stillborn, she never leaves the house. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 22:27, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

Ah well. We can still troll her via Chris or Bob. We just need to put the fear into them somehow. Perhaps we could inform Bob of the house videos still being up? Idea: Claim that a class action suit is going to be levied against Chris in an attempt to institutionalize him(Bob's worst fear, if this doesn't stir him to action nothing will). Claim that you're a fan of Chris(This will make him sympathize) and you got a tip that a huge class action suit is just getting started and the only way to stop it is to have Chris stop making comics involving anyone based off a real person or using material derived from people on the internet or something so they won't have any material to use. He has to make sure Chris doesn't do anything stupid either or else the suit might start up again. Best case scenario Bob bans Chris from making any further comics and Chris kills him in-universe. We then inform Bob about this and watch the shit fly.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:40, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

What if we hired a professional actor to come by the house and tell em that Mao has sued them for threatening murder or that Greene county has noticed the shit scattered on the lawn. You know, make shit up that they could believe.
--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 23:07, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

They aren't exactly smart people--Bob was tricked by a thirteen year old boy too, remember. Snorlax watches too much TV and thinks that every time we drag Chris out of her house we might get him arrested, and Chris is Chris. 90% of the time it'll be Bob on the phone, and he's a cakewalk if you don't let him get a word in. Pose as someone in authority and he'll fall for it if you can sound convincing enough. You might want to compliment him a bit too, he likes that. Snorlax fears Chris being brought before court again and Bob fears him being chucked into an institution. All we have to do is convince Bob that his fear is a real possibility, show him something that looks like proof of the lawsuit, and we'll have the fear erupting in Snorlax too. If we're really lucky, they might move elsewhere.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:44, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

Even though people from Massachusetts say I sound like i'm from the south, southerners always detect my bahstin accent. I'm sure if I called Bob, To explain my accent i would have to disguise myself as a friend of Mao, because he's the only Bostonian troll that Chris knows about.--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 22:24, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

A better idea would be claiming that you're an internet friend of Chris's that found out that the trolls have been gathering evidence needed to institutionalize Chris, and the fact that he attempts to threaten people with death in his comic is the clincher--it may terrify Bob but honestly his fear helped make Chris what he is today so he deserves to live in it.

Still, we need something Bob might consider irrefutable proof, so let's hold off on actually doing it until we have a plan. Bob may be gullible, but he catches on--he was instantly suspicious of Julie, remember that. Let's think this out a bit more.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:07, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

Wake the FUCK UP! Bob is almost dead, so we can forget about him because he has a 10% of living to Friday, and Barb might kill herself so my Cole-centered schemes might useful in case Cole rescues him from his hell and adopts him, because we all know he can't live alone.--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 23:17, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
* Enlighten me on the subject of heart failure, I'm not an expert. Also, I doubt Barb will kill herself. Though, we may see Cole being relevant again if Bob dies.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:46, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

''IF'' Bob dies? No, he's gonna die. The mortality rate for heart failure is 10%, add four heart attacks and he has maybe a 2% chance of surviving. Snorlax is barely mobile so she'll probably starve to death, and if Cole has any sense of mercy he'll save Chris from the sharks of society, because even Cole is aware of us. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 01:45, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
* I don't think she's that fat. Obese, yes. Fat to the point where she can't move? Doubtful. She'll probably send Chris to fetch food for her and "Getting food" will become the new "shoveling snow". She's not dying anytime soon.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:55, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
Yes, but she has colitis and has to be eating leafy greens,if she fails to eat them she could get sepsis and die of intestinal infections.
--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 02:28, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
* Point taken. Though, we don't know enough about her to assume that she's ignoring the advice--her being a redneck isn't enough. I'll estimate her date of death as sometime this decade.
*Lax won't even protect Chris, cause that was Bob's job, Chris will be a fucking fool when Bob dies, like probably going all the way to Japan to meet with Sony, only to find himself castrated by the Yakuza.--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 03:08, 7 March 2010 (UTC)

Speaking of death, I really think we need to put a "BOB IS DEAD" ad on top of the CWCipedia if we want Chris to tell us anything more on the subject. And make it a standard practice to assume that Chris is dead if he fails to update for more than three days or more.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 08:08, 7 March 2010 (UTC)

Yeah I had a weird dream last night where I was at my house and Snore was sitting in the backseat of my Honda Accord choking to death, then Chris pops out of the trunk holding a burning copy of "Catcher in the Rye" while speaking backwards. Maybe its a premonition.--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 21:23, 8 March 2010 (UTC)

-Lets make the snorlax ED page. Chris wants us to stop by midnight, but we will only jam the dagger deeper. Make him rage harder than he has ever raged before. Let us destroy his psyche completely.--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 23:10, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
-He's looking at the CWCki now and we can make the Snorlax ED page whenever we want(of course we need a link to the article across the top of CWCipedia so Chris will spot it).

Oh yeah, with the succss of the car pranks gives me an idea that would piss barb off so much: PUT 14 BRANCHLAND COURT UP FOR SALE!--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 19:54, 12 April 2010 (UTC)
*I swear I think we've done that already but go ahead put an ad on Craigslist and invite buyers to just turn up unannounced for maximum lulz.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:49, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

[https://post.craigslist.org/uva/H/reo/none/x/PdeDiSNHERGEQ2sa/wPgzz] Did it.--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 21:49, 12 April 2010 (UTC)
*Ahahaha, brilliant. Now we play the waiting game.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:30, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

I'm not sure its posted, can you check craigslist?--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 23:23, 12 April 2010 (UTC)
*It's there.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:30, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

Awesome. Now all we have to do is watch him rage on twitter or youtube.--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 23:57, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

==Holy Shit==

You successfully dissected Chris's mind.You should be like Troll of the
Year,not for your trolling feats,but for the fact that you creatively and logically categorized Chris's inner thoughts,feelings,and psyche. Kudos. [[User:UhcinoS|UhcinoS]] 03:03, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

==Trolling Ideas==

I liked your idea a while back about having Alec or someone else write their own "version" of sonichu 11 and I thought that maybe an addition to that plan could be made, have it so that the sysop sends chris and email telling him that the site is losing money because of the lack of updates. However have her also say she has an offer from an outside source who wants to continue sonichu, than she'll say that she'll give him two weeks to respond. KNowing chris he won't respond and the person (hopefully alec) we'll start their comic. Also this way when chris realizes what has happened and complains he'll be told its his fault that he didn't update the comic.
[[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

2010-04-03T02:49:10Z

Shawths:

User talk:GodofThunderGodofWar

2010-04-03T02:25:44Z

Shawths:

Fuck the welcome template, Chris doesn't even deserve one. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:47, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

We haven't banned this faggot have we? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

The great Clyde Cash has told us not to ban him. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:52, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Fuck you Chris. Go back to your leeches and your potions! [[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]]

Chris it is time to come out of your closet you homo. --[[User:Psycatalyst|Psycatalyst]] 02:15, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Glad we haven't banned him yet. BTW could we add some templates from ED to "improve" his page? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

User:GodofThunderGodofWar

2010-04-03T02:21:35Z

Shawths:

{{Protip|This was the real Chris.}}
Hi Chris. Nice job with your threat of vandalizing three pages before playing your PS3. Good job. No one ban him. Let him do whatever the fuck he wants. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:20, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chris, how's it hanging? never mind, you'll never read this, too busy playing the PStriple, you know if you just sold that thing you'd be able to update the comic more. --[[User:Homor|Homor]] 01:10, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

[[Fan:Issue 10.5|Issue 10.5]] coming soon to the CWCki! :D --[[User:Marco|Marco]] 01:15, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

'Ey Chris, I have a game I would recommend to you. Dante's Inferno. Play through the whole thing and pay VERY Close attention to the plot. -CWCville Sanitation

God does not look well on those who worship false gods like Thor. Your going to hell sodomite. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

Enjoy your stay Chris. It isn't going to be long now that you've proven to be an even bigger bigot than we thought you were. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:51, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

hey Chris, huge fan here. Just a heads-up: some people and I are writing a biography about you. --[[User:Fabrosi|Fabrosi]] 02:00, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Chris, give us your Pokemon friend code so we can all beat you at your favorite game.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:08, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

User talk:GodofThunderGodofWar

2010-04-03T01:49:23Z

Shawths:

Fuck the welcome template, Chris doesn't even deserve one. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:47, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

We haven't banned this faggot have we? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

User talk:GodofThunderGodofWar

2010-04-03T01:49:10Z

Shawths:

Fuck the welcome template, Chris doesn't even deserve one. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:47, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
We haven't banned this faggot have we? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

User:GodofThunderGodofWar

2010-04-03T01:45:56Z

Shawths: