CWCki - User contributions [en]

User talk:Shecameforcwc

2011-11-18T02:37:36Z

Shecameforcwc:

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and don'ts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider Anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

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:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

--[[User:WelcomeBot|WelcomeBot]] 17:45, 17 November 2011 (PST)

Thanks for being on the ball WelcomeBot --[[User:Shecameforcwc|Shecameforcwc]] 18:37, 17 November 2011 (PST)

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

2010-11-04T17:11:50Z

Shecameforcwc: Do we really need a citation for saying that Chris blames stress for this problem? The begining of the article has a quote from him stating that he blames stress for Christ's sake!

{{quote|But, y'know, I wouldn't—I would not wear them on a daily basis I wear briefs. I wear regular briefs. And sometimes I do, uh, I get very [[stress]]ed out from, uh, people who yell at me or, uh, misunderstand me or [[trolls|talk bad about me]]. And, and, between that and other real-life stresses, uh, it just pen—it just builds up and sometimes uh, it just—I just have to—it just comes out and I sometimes accidentally, uh…poo my pants. But I mean, who hasn't in their lifetime, I mean, pooed their childhood diapers, much less pooed their…underwear at least once in their lifetime. I mean, we're only human. Nothing to be ashamed of. And to those who find it amusing, uh, I respectfully disagree with their opinions.|[[Chris]] on his DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS, [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|ECV 00095]] }}

[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's gay evil twin shits himself and wets his pants.
 Notice that Chris uses the word "tinkle", a word used by children to describe urination.]]

'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is a troll term for Chris's troubles with [[Wikipedia:Encopresis|encopresis]].

[[Stress]] (surprise, surprise) plays a large role in Chris's incontinence problems, as he has trouble controlling himself when under the hammer.

Chris is often expecting a fart when he suddenly realizes that the briefs that were so clean a moment ago are now DIRTY and CRAPPED<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref>.

He justifies his fecal incontinence by claiming that it is perfectly normal and quite common for adults to soil themselves on a regular basis. There are only 2 causes for a relatively healthy adult to shit themselves: 1. as a symptom of gastrointestinal distress 2. In a fit of vomiting, muscles throughout the body loosen with each successive heave to assist in expelling the stomach's contents. With all the body's energy being used for heaving, the anus is unable to stay tight and closed. This is more likely if diarrhea is present.

In [[2009#March|March 2009]], [[Ivy]] alleged that Chris's claims of dirty, crapped briefs are not, as some argued, merely skid-marks in his undergarments (presumably to assert he wears briefs enough to have skid-marks in them) but rather he has problems controlling his sphincter and apparently is open about the fact presumably to gain pity{{PublicSauce}}. It was also alleged that Chris's doctor has been trying to get him to wear [[Butt garments|pads]], and that [[Barb]] is tired of having to wash his crapped underwear{{PublicSauce}}.

It is likely that his brief-crappings are chronic, as in the chat of 04 March 2009 with [[Julie]], Julie's brother [[Max]] asks Chris if he's crapped his briefs and he yells "MAYBE!" but then admits that he has indeed crapped his pants with a "...Yes."

On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] that he craps his pants when he's stressed and says that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.

On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a girl who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it. Given Chris's gloried history of bad taste and indiscretion, this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or perhaps he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.

Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john," Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes." CRAPPED BRIEFS are a Personal Subject.

On [[Don'tPintheOop|30 October 2010]], Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he craps himself, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to ''driving home'' with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the list of reasons not to accept a ride from Chris.
==Transcript==
21:13 <@[[Clyde Cash|clydeC]]> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
 21:13 <%[[Christian Weston Chandler|ChrisChanSonichu]]> That, sir is INCORRECT.
 21:13 <@clydeC> YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[:Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|OH WAIT,]] [[Muscle bra|YOU HAVE!]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 21:13 <@[[BILLY_MAYS]]> ZING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
 21:14 <@clydeC> IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
 21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
 21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
 21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
 21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
 21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
 21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
 '''21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.'''
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION
 21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
 21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
 21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS

==Sources==
<references />
*[[IRC (20 January 2009)|Complete transcript of the chat containing the revelation]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms|Dirty Crapped Briefs]]

User talk:DirtyCrappedBriefs

2010-10-03T03:13:36Z

Shecameforcwc: Created page with "==Fag== =3 ily. Wanna have gay sex sometime?--~~~~"

==Fag==
=3 ily. Wanna have gay sex sometime?--[[User:Shecameforcwc|Shecameforcwc]] 20:13, 2 October 2010 (PDT)

User:Shecameforcwc

2010-10-02T01:38:21Z

Shecameforcwc: Created page with "Yup, it's me."

Yup, it's me.

Chris and the Internet

2010-07-12T08:53:40Z

Shecameforcwc: /* Forums and bans */

The '''Internet''' is a specialized computer programming that allows the transmission of data through long distances through a massive collection of networks connected all over the world. The Internet has grown since its first real conception in the 1980s as a means for [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College|universities]] to communicate with each other. It is said that nearly 2 billion people are connected to the Internet.

One of those is [[Christian Weston Chandler|a fat, whiny, bigoted, misogynistic, and egotistical manchild.]] He is the Internet's [[Basement_Rosechus|battered girlfriend]] who always comes back for more.

==Understanding==

Chris seems to be aware that the Internet is a place where, once you put something up, anyone with access to a computer could see it. However, due to a combination of his ego and his [[Autism|general inability to understand others]], Chris has come to the conclusion that if he puts anything on the Internet, everyone ''will'' see it; and if you direct a message to someone, ''only'' they will see it. Chris has in the past attempted to address videos to specific people, from [[Congrats,_Jack_Black|celebrities]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|potential employers]] to [[Ivy|internet girlfriends]]. Most telling is [[100_2178|his 8 May 2010 rant]], which was addressed to anyone who served on the Green County School Board in the early 1990's.

Chris sees no problem in dropping highly sensitive information over his videos — including his phone number, street address, and the secret name of the girl he desperately wants to be his girlfriend. He doesn't understand that [[YouTube]] is a public website and not an instant messaging service, never paying attention to the deluge of comments he gets from horrified onlookers that definitively prove his "[[For_Julie%27s_Eyes_Only|private]]" messages are anything but.

Chris has been on the Internet for some time, yet does not understand how to act online any more than he does in [[Sonichu%27s_Edge|real]] [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|life]]. While many users of the Internet contribute content, are [[White_knight|polite and helpful]], and generally [[Chris_and_the_Law|follow any established rules]], Chris sees [[Wikipedia|all]] [[Encyclopedia_Dramatica|web]][[CWCki|sites]] as vehicles to spew his [[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_the_CWCki|self]]-[[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|serving]] [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile|version]] of [[Honest_content|the truth]]. Even worse, when given his own website, he audaciously claims that [[CWC_Blog#January_2010|it is he who has control over the site]], not [[User:cogsdev|the Sysop]] who does the work of setting it up, or the [[Jack_Thaddeus|advertisers]] who pay for it.

==Forums and bans==

As with many places in real life, Chris has found himself banned from the few places he frequents online.

Chris does not normally participate in forum discussions, either due to a dislike of reading or simple egotism. When he does, he always signs his message — be it a comment on YouTube, a rant on the [[Adult Swim]] [[Adult_Swim_posts|boards]], or a complaint about something in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''.<ref>http://forums.littlebigworkshop.com/t5/PS3-Workshop/Complaints-on-the-Sonic-the-Hedgehog-and-Werehog-Costumes/m-p/239893;jsessionid=C15F46579256D040386028A0EAB09412</ref> He never follows up on these posts either, nor does he read the comments left by other users, just like on YouTube. Any retractions or responses are saved for completely unrelated posts elsewhere on the Internet.

Coincidentally, Internet forums are havens for socially retarded, thirty-something man-children who still live with [[Barbara_Chandler|Mommy]] and [[Bob_Chandler|Daddy]]. By simply choosing a handle that has nothing to do with Sonichu, and participating even a little in forum discussions, Chris could shed (for a while) his lolcow status and form online friendships with other sad bastards like himself. However, either Chris can't do that or his [[ego]] refuses to let him do that. Everywhere he goes, he plasters his full name, [[Chris-Chan]], or [[Sonichu]] in his user name or in his posts, forever certifying that where ever Chris goes, trolls will be right behind to see what kind of fail he's done this time around.

Thanks to his screwed up conversation filter, Chris has done stupid stuff and has stuff taken down or been banned from places. However, due to his relative inactivity concerning Internet forums, he's banned from fewer places online than expected. He was banned from [[deviantART]] in the summer of 2009 for posting the uncensored version of Sonichu 9 without an [[Honest_content|NSFW]] tag, though he doesn't understand why--comments left on his CWCipedia talk page suggest that he is under the impression that his dA account simply vanished into cyberspace for no reason. He was also banned earlier for the uncensored version of Sonichu 8. As well, despite bouncing from one account to the next, Chris has only been [[The July 10th Messages|banned once]] from [[YouTube]]. However, unlike DA, Chris has constantly made new accounts after one was taken down or abandoned. He has also had posts modded at [[GameFAQs]] when he attempted to solicit money for special characters in [[ModNation Racers]].

His most grievous ban to date involves [[Flipnote Hatena]]. Between 29 June and 2 July, Chris had [[RomanticLabyrinth|the same Flipnote]] removed from the site ''four times'' because of its sexual nature, with Chris thinking it was being removed by trolls instead of the fact that a Nintendo-owned website wouldn't ''like'' that sort of thing being put on their site. Because of this and other flipnotes he had uploaded and reuploaded, the mods have banned Chris for life from posting there.

One notices a pattern in all of this--Chris is simply too lazy to read a website's terms of service. He just meanders onto a website and begins to post whatever he wants, reacting with shock when he crosses a line because he either did not bother trying to learn it's location or thought it was somewhere else. When protesting his ban from Wikipedia for violating one of their numerous rules, he argued that he didn't have the time to read the pages upon pages of fine print that stipulated what constituted acceptable behavior.

== Attempts to leave the Internet ==

As the saying goes, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going". However, in Chris's case, he takes this and butchers it — when [[trolls]] descend on him and [[Stress|torture]] him, he gets up and leaves. He's like a child who packs up all of his toys and goes home when things don't go his way. For many trolls, this would be a great victory — threatening to quit the Internet forever is such a common reaction to trolling it has its own [[ED]] article. However, Chris just can't stand to get away from the Internet.

His [[Youtube Finale|first attempt]] to abandon the Internet was in the aftermath of the [[Julie]] incident; tired of [[Clyde Cash]]'s trolling, Chris proclaimed that he was leaving the Internet. Instead of doing that, he disappeared for all of two weeks, before creating a new account on YouTube. His [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|second]], [[100 2188|third]], and [[100 2189|fourth attempts]] all seemed to have been directed by an [[Rocky Shoemaker|outside force]]. Of course, Chris being Chris, he never made good on his word to stay off.

After he made his second announcement of leaving the Internet, he made a [[Cleveland_Show_Voice_Rant|rant about the Cleveland Show]] a mere ''36 hours later''. He also made his fourth announcement of leaving the Internet just ''four days'' after making his third announcement, saying that the [[Kick the Autistic|trolls have scared him from the Internet, that he is literally afraid of the internet]]. Chris being Chris, he returned just [[June062010.MOV|one week]] after this grand proclamation. After talking about how he almost committed vehicular homicide, he makes his ''fifth'' announcement that he is leaving the Internet.

Nearly two weeks after his ''final'' abandonment of the Internet, he was spotted at [[Fridays After Five]] playing [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote Studio]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi. He soon discovered the pictures and videos of him on the Internet and broke his exile to post his response to it all on Flipnote Hatena the next day, saying that he wishes trolls would stop spreading his bad reputation around. This shows not only that Chris is still looking out for his Internet reputation, but that he also assumes that by telling trolls "I'm leaving the internet forever," he expects them to stop talking about him.

What Chris doesn't seem to realize is that the [[PS3#Playstation_Network|PSN]] he [[Chris_humps_his_PS3|loves]] [[List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_video_downloads|so]] [[List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_game_downloads|dearly]] and Flipnote Studios are all technically a part of the Internet, as they consist of a network of interconnected computers/devices. So when he says that he will be leaving the Internet, he is clearly [[Chris and hypocrisy|full of shit]], as he has only sworn off the parts of the internet [[Encyclopedia_Dramatica|that]] [[CWCki|bother]] [[4-cent_garbage.com|him]]. A quick check of his YouTube profile will usually reveal he has signed on within the last 12-24 hours, which means he still visits YouTube daily.

== Will Chris ever really leave? ==

It's possible, perhaps even inevitable, that circumstances will enable Chris to really leave the Internet. The most likely reason would be the death or intervention of [[Robert Chandler|certain benefactors]] that keep the Internet train a-rolling. Another, only marginally less likely, would be the end-result of Chris's terminal slothfulness: just ceasing to give a shit about anything except [[video games]], [[toys]], and his [[CWCville|Happy Place]]. If pressed, Chris always claims to be "workin' on it ([[Sonichu]]/[[job|employment]]/the [[Love Quest]]/etc.)," but effort is anathema to Chris.

It is highly unlikely that he'll ever leave the Internet of his own volition. Chris thrives on attention just as much as he is burned by the terrible strain of effort. Like an abused spouse, he may never leave unless someone else steps in. [[Trolls|Being the horrible people we are]], we'd rather have it that he stay. And now, with the [[Fridays After Five|trolling efforts]] of field agents in play, it seems the only way Chris will ever truly leave the internet will be through his [[Chris and Health|inevitable]] [[death]].

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

CWCRockin4Way.jpg

2010-07-12T08:32:46Z

Shecameforcwc:

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|right|They came for CWC.]]
'''''CWCRockin4Way.jpg''''' (released officially on [[CWCipedia]] as ''CWCMenajAQuad.jpg'', because Chris really can't speak French) was a leaked image of [[Chris]] engaged in an orgy where he is penetrating a "half and half" (a possible reference to her being biracial) from behind, while fingering a blond woman and, surprisingly, a [[niggo]].

Some argue that this is the most controversial image in the CWC canon since [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]. It is still ''less'' controversial in that this time, the women offended are entirely products of Chris's imagination, which is [[Things Chris has ripped off|a first]]. Of course, this doesn't really offer that much relief, especially when Chris has possibly deluded himself into thinking that these women ''are,'' in fact, real.

==Analysis==
[[Image:CWCanatomyfail.jpg|thumb|right|What the picture looks like with the 'Half and Half' removed by an amateur MS Paint user. Thus it is revealed that Chris fails harder at anatomy than does [[Wikipedia:Rob Liefeld#Criticism|Rob Liefeld]].]]
Whenever Chris attempts to do [[Rule 34]]s, he [[fail]]s in his usual spectacular fashion. Like his previous benchmark for illustrated depravity, ShecameforCWC.JPG, Chris's drawing is a truly awful piece of work:

* The "half-and-half" and Chris; there is no physical way that can happen. Even ''if'' the girl were sitting on his lap, there's no realistic way for his [[pickle]] to reach her [[china|vagina]] like that. The way it's drawn, Chris has cut himself at the waist and his duck is just ''stuck'' in there.
* Even when ignoring the obvious anatomical gaffes, the sex position and the whole ''situation'' in the picture is something that just wouldn't work in real life. This is what happens when all of your knowledge about sex comes from [[Chris and sex#Knowledge of sex and gender|pornography]].
* Both the "half-and-half" and the [[niggo]] are just not reacting at all. Compared to the blonde-haired girl, the niggo looks like she's rocking out to some music and the half-and-half is just waiting for something to happen. Considering Chris's duck, though, this is not too unrealistic.
* Once again, Chris has made sure to include both the [[medallion]] and his [[heterochromia|different-colored eyes]].
* In real life, the [[Gitar of Fail]] and Singstar microphone (?) are not, strictly speaking, ''essential'' sex toys.
* In spite of his new-found ''\m/ total hardcore death heavy Guitar Hero metal \m/'' lifestyle, there's still a portrait of [[Britney Spears]] on the wall, complete with "Oops!"
{{-}}
==Appearances==
The image was first leaked to the trolling public by Bryan Bash towards the end of [[September 2009]]. Chris himself officially acknowledged the image a couple of weeks later, in his [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|10 October Captain's Log]], where he waved it about with great enthusiasm as a totem of his alleged heterosexuality. He then gave it a permanent home on [[CWCipedia]].

==Fantasy or reality?==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Gay.jpg|thumb|right|Indeed they came.]]
While it's always a dicey proposition trying to draw grand conclusions from Chris's demented rants, his comments on the image suggest that he might believe he has actually performed the acts depicted. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log video]] where he gave the picture its official debut, he declares "I'm having sex with three women!" Not "I drew myself having sex with three women," or even "I'd sure have sex with three women if I ever got the chance," but "I'm having sex with three women."

It's well-established that Chris has an occasionally tenuous grasp of the distinction between [[Chris and reality|fantasy and reality]], especially with regards to the lives lead by his fictional creations. Chris may have reached a point where putting his fantasies down on paper is enough, from his point of view, to make them real. He at least considers the image to be indisputable proof of his straightness, fetishising it along with other random objects like his Optimus Prime toy and [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]]. In Chris's mind, the horrifying image possesses a far greater significance than your average piece of terrible, terrible artwork.
{{-}}
==Gallery==
Chris is not so shallow as to be fucking three random ladies. Rather, these are members of his [[Guitar Hero]] band and they have unique names. Jody Zimmerman (the [[niggo]]) is the drummer, Zuri Alryte (the "Half-and-Half") is the singer, and Kiera Bei (the [[Britney Spears|Aryan blonde]]) is the bass player. So, yes, Chris is building his virtual harem.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:ZuriAlryte.jpg|'''Zuri Alryte''': she's "All right" because she's at least half white.
Image:KieraBei.jpg|'''Kiera Bei''': Britney's long lost twin sister?
Image:JodyZimmerman.jpg|'''Jody Zimmerman''': A sistah or a brotha? You decide.
[[File:Chris-Chan Orgy.png]]
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Warning - Naughty Women ;)]] - The Captain's Log where this pic first appeared.
*[[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud]] - Another appearance of Chris's "rock band".
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] - The former state of the art in Chris-chan smut
*[[Giant Penis Comic]] - Another example of Chris's rich fantasy life

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Image:CWCMenajAQuad.jpg The image on CWCipedia]
[[Category:Images]]