CWCki - User contributions [en]

Honor roll

2012-07-13T18:39:44Z

Shinto29:

{{protip|It has so far unknown whether or not Chris really did make the honor roll. [[China]] or [[pickles]] and a place in the Trolling Hall of Fame awaits anyone who can conclusively prove or disprove Chris's honor roll status.}}

[[Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|thumb|right|The white sash says Chris made the honor roll, but the [[The creepy stare|slack-jawed stare]] says so much more.]]

{{quote|No solamente con ellos, pero con mis puntos de HONOR ROLL. ¡Bueño! [sic]|Ricardo Weston Chandler <ref>Translation: Not lonely with them, but with my points of HONOR ROLL. Good!</ref>}}

{{quote| I AM HONOR ROLL!| [[Liquid Chris]]}}

{{quote|HONOR ROLL MY ASS|[[Vivian Gee]], [[Audiobooks]]}}

Chris's presence on the '''honor roll''' in [[high school]] is something he often brings up as evidence of his [[Slow-in-the-minds|intelligence]]. Despite his insistence to the contrary, Chris's past behavior and obvious gullibility, poor communication and self-delusion cast doubt on this claim. Chris likes to boast of his honor roll status wherever possible, due to it being the closest thing in his life to an actual accomplishment.

==Where Chris has claimed Honor Roll status==
Chris has trumpeted his honor-roll status in a number of his documents and videos.

*In [[Sub-Episode 2]], Chris drops the honor-roll line in a post-script to his unsolicited follow-up email to [[Hanna]]. Because the girl who just deliberately [[troll]]ed your [[heart level]] down to 15% will flip for you if you're on the honor roll.
*In his [[Miyamoto emails|e-mails]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], he apparently thought making the honor roll would impress a world-renowned game designer.
*Likewise, he mentioned the honor roll early in his [[Blanca E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Blanca]].
*The honor roll gets a shout-out in the lyrics to "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]" by [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]].
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia autobiography]] prominently mentioned the honor roll.
*In his [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|Asperger's rant]], Chris cited making the honor roll as one of many ways in which he overcame the obstacles presented by his [[autism]], and how he is apparently better than those with [[Aspergers]].
*In his [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|first public plea for understanding on YouTube]], Chris mentioned the honor roll in passing.
*Chris's first [[OkCupid]] profile from [[February 2009]] announces that he made the honor roll.
*In [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]], Chris bragged about his "honor roll points" as one of the many qualities that apparently set him apart from [[Liquid Chris]].
*In response, Liquid Chris picked up the honor-roll catchphrase himself, using it in one of their arguments over the phone.<ref>[[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]]</ref>
*In the [[Autism Awareness E-mails]], Chris mentioned making the honor roll as one reason why he did not need a caretaker or other supervision.

==Chris made the honor roll?==
In Chris's graduation pictures from both high school and college, he is wearing a sash that generally indicates graduating with honors. This only means so much without additional context, though. Depending on his school's standards for who winds up on the honor roll, it may not represent that impressive an achievement, especially if Chris was able to rack up the required grade point average with remedial course work instead of normal classes. In some schools, the only requirement is a minimum GPA, so anyone with a GPA of, say, 3.5, is on the honor roll, even if every single course was a remedial course. For what it's worth, the psychiatrist who conducted Chris's [[autism papers|intake survey]] in [[2004]] noted that Chris took regular classes in high school, but he may have only had Chris's word for that. It's also noted that often times with honor roll, it's not hard to get honor roll if you have done all your homework and class work and did adequate on tests, even in a normal class setting. So, A in homework, and C in tests, MIGHT average to the B area, at least enough to be considered in the honor roll.

On the other hand, it's not completely out of the question to consider that Chris might have been able to get decent grades in school. His emotional and social issues have always made judging his actual intelligence a little tricky. In "[[Song of Christian]]", he is enraged to receive an "F" in English, suggesting that he usually got good grades, and also rages: ''"I mean, I started off with an "A" and you just lowered it, lowered, lowered it!"'', indicating that he initially made good grades in the class, but for one reason or another, they slipped into "F"'s before long.

Chris's basic cognitive functions work fine, as the 2004 psychiatric survey confirmed, and in some respects he seems to be no less intellectually capable than many ordinary people. He has a reasonable facility with [[computers]] and technology, for instance. At the same time, his laziness, [[naïve|naïveté]], [[Chris and his ego|egotism]] and [[Chris and sex|raging hormones]] have obviously led him to ever-increasing depths of self-destructively foolish behavior. The Miyamoto saga offers an interesting example of this contrast: Chris was bright enough to eventually work out that the e-mails he received from "Miyamoto" came from an easily-spoofed domain... but then if he weren't so blinded by his ego, he would never have believed that [[Nintendo]] was interested in his [[Sonichu|shitty knockoff character]] in the first place.

So, is Chris too stupid to have made the honor roll? Maybe. Is Chris too gullible, arrogant, and led about by his [[duck]] to function in real life? Definitely.

One would think that all Chris needs to do is to post his grades in order to end the doubts to his alleged intelligence. Sadly, according to [[Mailbag 19]], Chris's report card papers are said to be locked away beyond his reach (which could mean a number of things - they could be locked away, buried under the piles of shit that litter his house, he doesn't have them anymore and he doesn't want to reveal that to others, or he's just too lazy to get up and find them), we may never know the truth until something finally snaps and he's able to get them. On the other hand, he's probably had them all along, and would never reveal them because they prove that he's the dumbfuck we know him to be.

Contradictorily, Chris also claims that the grades testifying to honor roll status are a matter of [[Mailbag 21#When you're 27, nobody really cares about your high school report cards|public record]], but was too lazy to procure them himself. [[Trolls|Those]] who have (or desire) access to the Chesterfield County Public Schools hall of records should take note; transcripts are not too difficult to obtain.

It is noteworthy that [[Bob Chandler|Chris' father]] stated in a Prank Call that Chris did not, in fact, make the Honor Roll.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npFYbb2sccs</ref> It is possible that Bob was either mistaken, lying or progressing into senility.

==Notes and references==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Manchester High School]]
*[[Slow-in-the-minds]]
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

User:Shiny

2011-10-11T14:40:47Z

Shinto29:

<center>
{|style="text-size:8; text-align:center;"
| colspan="3" style="text-size:8; text-align:center;" |<font color=#A17FB5 size=8>SHINY</font>
|-
|[[Image:Shiny marshtomp small.png]]
| style="height:122px;" |[[Image:Shiny_marshtomp.png|center]]
|[[Image:Shiny marshtomp small.png]]
|-
| colspan="3" style="padding-top:8px; text-size:8; text-align:center;" |<font color=#BF9C0F size=8>MARSHTOMP</font>
|}
</center>

[[File:Gaydog.JPG|thumb|center|NOVEMBER 18, 2001 - JUNE 26, 2010. NEVAR FORGET.]]

<center>
{{female}}
{{EDUser}}
{{PVCC}}
{{Americunt}}
{{Hikikomori}}
</center>

=Cogs's offended at Clyde=
I don't know, she's trying to protect a girl who doesn't give a shit about her.

=Clyde's Beatles Piss Songs=
I don't know, he made this shit up. [[User:Shiny|Shiny]] 04:11, 8 January 2010 (UTC)

==Shiny Road Medley==
The greatest medley ever made.

===They Never Gave me Their Blessings===

They never gave me their blessings

Your parents wanted me just to love you

And in the middle of negotiations

We broke down

You only wanted for me to

Piss on you so that I could stay true

And in the middle of my demonstration

You break down

Shiny's running, bladder spent

Pissing was just my present

All my piss is gone, nothing to do

Any moron could emit

Pissing for just ten minutes

Yellow pissin' flow, nothing to do

But oh, that magic feeling, nothing to do

Oh, that magic feeling

Nothing to do

ONE SWEET DREAM

Pick up the bags get my girl Shiny

Soon we'll be away from here

Step on the gas and wipe that piss away

One sweet dream comes true one day

Comes true one day

Comes true one day (YES IT WILL)

One two three four five six seven

Get my Shiny, take her to heaven
===Here Comes Clyde's Small Thing===

Here comes Clyde's small thing

Here comes Clyde's small thing

Everybody's running

Everybody's scared

Here comes Clyde's small thing

Yo soy paco muy macho tengo taco muy amor

El pollo loco kay suh dilla mucho muy amor

Toro fuerte soy muy quinse tor tilla me amor

===Mean Mr. Clyde Cash===

Mean Mr. Clyde Cash made me stand still

Pissed on me just trying to save water

Pissed on my face on the road

Pissed all over my nice clothes

Hate how it seemingly flows

Such a mean old man

Such a mean old man

My name's Shiny, I work at a church

Taking calls, from Godless heathens

Then I got fired cuz that guy

Pissed on Jesus right in the eye

Always piss in places obscene

Such a dirty old man

Dirty old man

===Shiny's New Van===

Well you should see Shiny's new van

So nice looking but I don't trust that man

He's taking out his small junk pissing all over the trunk

You shouldn't see Shiny's new van

Yeah, yeah, yeah

That van was bought with all the money she saved

Took her years to get the thing that she craved

Now it's completely ruined with all the piss that he spread

God, that man is just completely depraved

===He Pissed Through the Bathroom Window===

Oh look out!

He pissed through the bathroom window

When he heard that doorbell go

He went and broke into her household

To piss on Shiny right below

Didn't anybody tell her

Didn't anybody see

Clyde's been on the phone since Monday

Pissing in a cup for tea

He said he'd go and stalk her

He knew where she was everyday

And though she thought she could restrain him

But the court, the legal system said no way

And so she went into a panic

Then she quit EverQuest II

And though God tried his best to help her

He had no sway over a man who was a Jew

Didn't anybody tell her

Didn't anybody see

Clyde's been on the phone since Monday

Pissing in a cup for tea

Oh yeah...

===Golden Showers===

Once there was Shiny, who loved me so much...

Once there was Shiny, who loved me so

Sleep pretty darling do not cry

Now that you're clean and really dry

Golden showers fill your eyes

Piss awakes you when you rise

Sleep pretty darling do not cry

I'll piss on you when you're not dry

Once there was Shiny, who loved me so much...

Once there was Shiny, who loved me so

Sleep pretty darling do not cry

Now that you're clean and really dry

===Piss On Your Face===

Girl, I'm gonna piss on your face

Piss on your face a long time

Girl, I'm gonna piss on your face

Piss on your face a long time

They never gave me their blessings

So I went and won you over

Now we'll never be separated

Together...

Girl, I'm gonna piss on your face

Piss on your face a long time

Girl, I'm gonna piss on your face

Piss on your face a long time

===The End===

Oh yeah, all right

Will I piss on you in your dreams tonight?

Piss on you, Piss on you, Piss on you, Piss on you

Piss on you, Piss on you, Piss on you, Piss on you

Piss on you, Piss on you, Piss on you, Piss on you

Piss on you, Piss on you, Piss on you, Piss on you

Piss on you, Piss on you, Piss on you, Piss on you

Piss on you, Piss on you, Piss on you, Piss on you

And in the end

The piss you take is equal to the piss I make

===My Shiny===

My Shiny's just a pretty nice girl

But she doesn't like my piss, I'd say

My Shiny's just a pretty nice girl

But opinions change from day to day

I wanna go and just piss on her a lot

But I gotta get a bellyful of wine

My Shiny's just a pretty nice girl

One day she's gonna change her mind

Oh yeah

One day I'll make her change her mind