CWCki - User contributions [en]

CWCki:General

2011-11-03T18:20:23Z

Shock Waves: /* CWCki down for a week? */ rep

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*[[CWCki:General/Archive 1|Archive 1]]
*[[CWCki:General/Archive 2|Archive 2]]

For discussion that doesn't fit into the other community pages - though do keep it related to the CWCki.

== Anonymax is hereby a CWCki admin ==

Because I am far too [[stress|STRESSED]] to constantly monitor CWCki like I use to, and because the CWCki has gotten larger, I hereby dub Anonymax a CWCki admin. May he use his powers for good, not evil. If you have problems, you can all <strike>stop bothering me</strike> bring your problems to him as well.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:10, 9 November 2010 (PST)
* everyone keep bothering champthom -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 20:49, 9 November 2010 (PST)

== A booru for CWC-related fan art ==

Hi guys. I'm here to ask you a simple question.

There's a site out there that allows you to create a free "booru". A "booru" is an online gallery that anyone of its members can contribute to. Another "booru" feature is tagging: e.g., if you add a "rosechu" tag to all pictures featuring Rosechu; then, if you search for "rosechu", you'll find every pic with the "rosechu" tag; etc. It's quite a useful thing. Examples of "boorus": Danbooru, Gelbooru, Paheal (aka Rule 34).

I can create a booru (on the site I mentioned) for CWC-related fan art, for CWCkians to browse and contribute to. The question is, are CWCkians interested in this? That's what I want you guys to tell me.

P.S.: Btw, there's a lot of fan art pics on CWCki, and most of them aren't used in actual articles. If such a booru were to exist, all these pics could be safely deleted from the CWCki database, I reckon. --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 11:01, 10 November 2010 (PST)

== Fan videos ==
I think we should limit the fan videos to 2 max per page, since thay are not really relevant and most of the time don't add much, take for example the "CWC fighter" page, currently it has 6 fan videos.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 11:18, 12 November 2010 (PST)

== A counter for the main page ==

Since this is like the fifth time Chris has declared he's leaving the internet forever, do you think a counter could be added to DA Update? Like the old one which counted how many days he'd missed on his page a day schedule, it could count how many days he lasts before he uploads another video. Chris doesn't tend to last too long on these things but he did go for a month and a half over the summer without a video update and it might be interesting to see if he manages to beat his previous record. [[User:Whispsonichu|Whispsonichu]] 13:34, 22 November 2010 (PST)
:That actually sounds like a pretty good idea. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 13:59, 22 November 2010 (PST)
{{:User:Anonymax/Quitcount}}
My initial idea for it. The tech for it works. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:30, 22 November 2010 (PST)

*Oh wow, that looks really good. [[User:Whispsonichu|Whispsonichu]] 15:31, 22 November 2010 (PST)

I also have another suggestion to respectfully add to this. If the site has the available bandwidth and space, why not run a streaming news ticker across the front of the page under the CWCki banner, just before the main page articles? This is for when Chris "possibly" goes a longer length of time away from the internet. Say, 50 or 100 days goes by, it could say something like; "BREAKING NEWS: Chris has been away from the internet for 100 Days Now! A NEW RECORD!". Something to that effect, but I think that would be a fun idea. Maybe throw in some random quotes as well and factoids as well, much like the "Did you Know...", but do it as a streaming ticker. --[[Chris Pickles|Chris Pickles]] 00:12, 26 2010 (EST)

== working on the Sonichu comic articles ==
They are way too fucking long. They need to be shortened down. [[Sonichu 9]] for example. I mean fuck who is actually going to read that than just watch the audiobooks or some shit? -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 10:40, 4 December 2010 (PST)

*I took a crack at the #9 article. I think the problem with the pages for #9 and #10 is that users were updating the article as Chris was updating the comics on CWCipedia. So the summaries read like shit because it was a bunch of people tacking their reactions everytime Chris added new pages. Hopefully [[Sonichu 9]] reads better now, even if it may not be short enough.[[User:Dethchemist77|Dethchemist77]] 17:18, 4 December 2010 (PST)

== Chris, the Master of Disguise ==

is it worth creating a page detailing all the times chris has gone "undercover"? like the kacey call, junior jenkins, the emails where he pretended to be a teenage girl or whatever, and any time he pretended to be an "evil troll". i think his bizarre attempts to act like another person and believe he's fooling everyone provide good insight into how his mind works and how he sees the world. plus it's funny as fuck -- [[User:Acousticvirgin|Acousticvirgin]] 15:53, 7 December 2010 (PST)
*I don't know. It sounds like a good idea with some potential....maybe we could make it a new addition of the Chris and Cosplay page? After all, that's what it is, in a sense.... --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 20:31, 7 December 2010 (PST)
**Junior Jenkins isn't Chris jackass. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 23:41, 17 December 2010 (PST)
***I think a seperate "Disguises" article would be a good idea. Cosplay doesn't cover his mentality when trying to be someone else. Don't forget Carlos the lover! [[User:Shock Waves|Shock Waves]] 09:48, 21 February 2011 (PST)

== Hey, I'm lazy ==

Can someone make a PSN tracker template or some shit for the front page? Basically, people will keep an eye on Chris' PSN activities and update the template. So something like "DATE - Fatty uploaded a new cart to modnation racers. Go downvote it now!".

Or something. Whatever. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 15:57, 20 December 2010 (PST)
*I would refrain from using language like "fatty" and any concrete trolling plan in response but given the amount of time Chris spends on the PS3, it is worth documenting. There's a requested template award in for it.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:21, 20 December 2010 (PST)
*If only such a template existed/was updated regularly. It would be especially useful if it were updated by someone reliable, such as Clydec. [[User:Clydec/PS3_Tracker|I guess we'll just have to keep hoping]]. (It isn't a template though. FUCKING WRITE ON HIS TALK PAGE GOD DAMN). [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 17:41, 20 December 2010 (PST)

== The CWCki Quality Review ==

I've gotten some complaints about the quality of the CWCki. Now I haven't really noticed anything super bad but this is something I hear from some people and I think that given the CWCki's second anniversary is coming up next week, we should have a frank open discussion about article quality and think of ways to address it.

I encourage everyone who uses the CWCki to offer their feedback so we can maintain the high quality standards we set for the CWCki.

So, I ask you all this - how is the CWCki doing? What do you think of article quality? How could it improve? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:47, 18 January 2011 (PST)

:1) I think the top priority for the CWCki in Year Three is to organize the content we already have. [[User:MachPunch|MachPunch]] has been kicking ass sorting videos and saga-related content, and I think that's the sort of thing we need right now. For example, Chris was working on a ''novel'' last year, and most people probably forgot all about it, because the details are buried in the [[Wallflower E-mails]], instead of being presented in their own article. We have a lot of raw information here, and I think part of the CWCki's role should be to digest those primary sources, so a reader can get the highlights without having to pore over hours of chatlogs or sift through weeks' worth of e-mails. [[User:Dethchemist77|Dethchemist77]] 14:59, 18 January 2011 (PST)

:2) The second priority needs to be to crack down on namefaggotry going on around here. I don't object to personalizing one's user page, or using the user talk pages, but lately it feels like that's all some users do around here. The emphasis needs to be on the articles, not introducing yourself and your agenda to the community. Conversely, it annoys me when users add useless shit to articles, as if making any contribution at all increases their wiki XP or something. I'm thinking specifically of those dumb "reaction shot" images, but the same can be said for excessive piping, speculation, or anything where quality takes a back seat to quantity. In moderation, the reaction shot images could be funny, but mostly they just felt like someone was trying too hard. [[User:Dethchemist77|Dethchemist77]] 14:59, 18 January 2011 (PST)

: Just a small complaint really, (Since DethChemist already hit all the truly necessary points) but I think some further research is required on some pages. For example, the [[Zapina|Zapina article]] says (paraphrasing from memory) that while still a shitty character, Zapina hasn't really ripped off another character. I took one look at Zapina and realized that she's a transgendered version of obscure (And almost-universally disliked) [[Sonic the Hedgehog| Sonic]] character [http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Charmy_Bee Charmy Bee], with a lightbulb in her ass instead of a stinger and the head traded out for Sonichu's. (Why Chris would do this is just... I dunno, really, but it IS Chris.) Anyway, just a reminder that maybe some further research is required on some articles. [[User:DJChaos|DJChaos]] 15:18, 7 February 2011 (PST)

==JenkinsJinkies Articles==

[[Coffee Place]] and [[Amanda]] articles need to be dealt with. I'd suggest that the Coffee Place article become a subsection of [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki]] and become a redirect, while the Amanda article just be deleted. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 22:30, 30 January 2011 (PST)
*Coffee Place article should be preserved as it is a historical document in its own worth. Perhaps Amanda could be incorporated into [[Burger King]]?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:08, 4 February 2011 (PST)
**You should add a disclaimer or header to the Coffee Place article mentioning that it was written by Chris. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 20:52, 14 February 2011 (PST)

==Foreign languages==
While there's always work to be done on the CWCki, since there probably won't be new Chris related content for a while, I was wondering how many CWCkians are proficient in foreign languages. It may be an interesting endeavor and perhaps could work with [{TheCWCvilleLibrary]] to create subtitles for all of Chris's videos. That way, all the world can know of Chris's failings.

I think [[Spanish]] should be the first language, but I'm curious if this is feasible given the current user base. Thoughts?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:08, 4 February 2011 (PST)

*I've taken French as a second language class for 7 years and I've done two French immersion courses. If it's necessary, I can do that. I'm not sure how useful it would be, though. Is it just adding subtitles to videos, or is it translating the entire wiki into a foreign language? If it's the latter, there's no point in trying. If it's the former, there are still diminishing returns. I've been to France a few times and there are very few people there who can't speak English pretty well, and most can read it even better. The only French people I've met who couldn't speak or read any English were those in Aix, and they barely even have computers there. It would be a very small group of people that this would appeal to. If anything, they should be translated to a west/east Asian or Far-East European language, as it's much less common for them to speak English. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 05:23, 5 February 2011 (PST)
*Spanish is my first language, so I could work on those subtitles if you decide you need them. [[User:Cesare|Cesare]] 14:11, 7 February 2011 (PST)
*I could do Polish, as it's my mother tongue. [[User:LittlePigBlanket|LittlePigBlanket]] 00:48, 17 February 2011 (PST)
*It's really great to hear some responses, I've brought up the topic of subtitles [[CWCki talk:Caption Crusade|here]] which could use some discussion. Freecell does make a good point that a Asian or Far-Eastern European (what constitutes that BTW?) language would help reach the wider audience though the problem is that I'm skeptical if there's anyone into Chris trolling is competent in these languages. I've thought about translating Chris's comics but that would be a bit more difficult as any translation would work, but first I think we need to work on getting the comics on the CWCki in the first place. Anyways, there's some good potential here. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:11, 17 February 2011 (PST)
*My mother tongue's Cantonese, maybe I can do Chinese? Tell me exactly what to do and I'll find time to do it. [[User:Sidre|Sidre]] 00:05, 22 February 2011 (PST)
*French is my first language, I can translate whatever you want into it. Longue vie à Chris ! [[User:DuckNTurn|DuckNTurn]]

==improvement project proposal ==
http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Special:AllPages

http://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Special%3AAllPages&from=%22Damian+Antaria%22%2C+PLEASE%2C+Don%27t+Leave+Me+-+I+NEED+YOU!!!&to=9+October+2009&namespace=0

Every article needs to be improved. This must be a notice on every page for people to start taking dumb shit out of articles.
Video articles should be locked once it's in its final form. If people want to make changes, they'll have to go through the talk page.
Pages need to be approved by a mod before we can move onto the next set on the AllPages Special page.

The project will start from all the non-alphabet characters.

-- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 15:29, 9 February 2011 (PST)
*While you're free to edit pages as you deem fit, I will not lock pages as pages can always be improved as you nor anyone else is the end all final word of Chris. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:09, 9 February 2011 (PST)
*Another thing, I think one way you can help maintain your standards of quality is to edit the [[CWCki:Style|style guide]] and you're welcome to establish expectations for articles and general style. I think that would be a very good way of you and your other Improvement Team members to really help the CWCki.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:30, 9 February 2011 (PST)

== Uploading the comics ==

I think one of the few faults with the CWCki is that at current, we don't have the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]] on the site. True, they're on the [[CWCipedia]] mirror but I believe those constitute the retconned comics with altered names.

Therefore, I'm offering a [[:Template:Bounty|Gold Star Bounty]] to anyone who contributes to uploading every Sonichu comic, original and retconned versions, onto the CWCki and incorporated them into the article. Obviously these are primary sources from Chris and should be on the CWCki itself so CWCki users can use them for research purposes and that sort of thing. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:39, 1 March 2011 (PST)
:I was thinking about this yesterday when I saw that 789chan thread. I don't have anything planned this afternoon so I guess I can upload them. Should this get its own article, or should they be put as galleries in the existing Sonichu Comic articles? [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 11:55, 1 March 2011 (PST)
:*I think galleries on the respective comic pages would make the most sense, no? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:19, 1 March 2011 (PST)
:Episode 0 done. I'm thinking I should upload the files and also link to a .zip file download in the appropriate article so that people can download the whole issue. Once I'm done I guess I'll make a .zip for all of the issues in one. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 12:14, 1 March 2011 (PST)
:I'll do more later. I'm just going to change the download locations because I forgot to make them .zip files. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 13:35, 1 March 2011 (PST)
*For those who wish to contribute, my dear friend Gecko made .rar files of the comics [http://www.mediafire.com/?2lbe465niukq624 here] and [http://www.mediafire.com/?o5nt0o38ubz95qk here]. I think this covers up to issue 7. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:12, 1 March 2011 (PST)

*Okay, so looks like Freecell uploaded iussues [[Sonichu 0|0]] and [[Sonichu 1|1]], while I've uploaded [[Sonichu 2|2]] and [[Sonichu 3|3]]. Not sure how to do 4 as I know a lot of of the subepisodes are already on the CWCki somewhere but maybe we should upload them anyway. In any case, do contribute, it'll help the CWCki and it'll get you a sweet userbox. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:04, 1 March 2011 (PST)
:*Just finished with [[Sonichu 6|6]], I think I'll call it a night.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:30, 1 March 2011 (PST)

* I can do issue 11 (Sonichu 10). [[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 17:41, 1 March 2011 (PST)
:* [[Sonichu 10]] is up and has a gallery. There were three pages that overwrote CWCki Vandalism images, but I don't know how to fix that, and it didn't seem to me like it'd be that great a loss. I'm uploading a rar of Sonichu 10 to MF, since it doesn't seem to exist.[[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 19:55, 1 March 2011 (PST)
* I'll start Sonichu #9 --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 17:56, 1 March 2011 (PST)
:Aw hell, seems I overwrote some of the things in the CWCkipedia Vandalism page. Should I go through and upload new versions of that gay trucker comic? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 19:37, 1 March 2011 (PST)
:I guess I'll do Sonichu #8 now. I'll do it with the censored versions, because the porn is already on the comic page. Uhhg, wish me luck... --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 20:20, 1 March 2011 (PST)
:As far as I can tell, we still need 2, 5, and 6 uploaded, unless they follow a different syntax from the other ones you guys uploaded. Other than that it's done. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 16:09, 2 March 2011 (PST)
:*I'm pretty bored right now, so I'll take care of what's left of 2, and try to get to the others while I'm at it. [[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 14:08, 3 March 2011 (PST)
:* [[Sonichu 5]] is up. I drank a lot while uploading it. Sonichu 4 and Sonichu 6 are left, from what I gather. [[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 15:23, 3 March 2011 (PST)
I think they're all done now, only thing left is to put these on the appropriate comic pages.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:09, 19 March 2011 (PDT)

== Good analysis example ==

This could go in Policy but I don't feel like ruling up from high on this, but mostly showing a good illustration of something. A lot of people complain that the CWCki has too much "sperging," that is (in their opinion at least) analysis and the like. Now personally, I think there's some level of analysis. If you read Moby Dick and think it's just about some guy going after a whale, you're missing out. Likewise, if you think Sonichu is just a crudely drawn comic, you're also missing out. Now here's a good example, from the [{Sonichu (character)|article]], a [[Sonichu_(character)#Sonichu_as_a_Mary_Sue|small section]] about how Sonichu is a Mary Sue. Now this could go on for pages, you could get into all sorts of shit with Freud and pull stuff out your ass on this one and go hog wild. But instead, it's two short paragraphs that say what should be obvious, that Sonichu serves as Mary Sue in that Sonichu allows Chris to fulfill his wishes and desires in an idealized world. That's all people really need to know and this section covers it well.

So try and avoid analyzing if you can but if it's warranted, keep it to a minimum. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:16, 19 March 2011 (PDT)

== Take these raining Chris heads off now prz ==

I can't read jack shit with these damn things. :(

== A Message to the CWCki ==

You know, I've been thinking and I'll be honest with you - Chris is probably dead. Not dead, literally, mind you, but he's probably not going to come back to the Internet for a very long time. However, given that, I think this is a time to consider the next stage of the CWCki. There is a very real purpose to continuing to edit the CWCki on a regular basis. Abe Lincoln might be rotting in the ground but that does not stop people from researching his life and saying new things about him. Likewise, just because Chris isn't making new content on a daily basis does not mean that everything said about Chris has been said. There's still a very real need to look closely into Chris's past material and to connect it with each other. A lot of media is on the CWCki but not incorporated into other pages. The CWCki should be maintained to its renowned high standards so that those who did not personally experience first hand the fail of Chris can do so so that Chris's antics will be recorded for time eternal.

I also see a valuable use for the [[CWCki:Caption Crusade|Caption Crusade]]. Captioning allows for translation into other languages, which can bring in trolls who may not have heard of Chris otherwise and bring in new perspectives that the current American-centric worldview of the average Chris troll would have.

In short, there's still [[CWCki:Priority_Listing|plenty of things to do]] and now is as good as any time to do it, if not better. So I hope you all stay with us and continue to contribute to the CWCki.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:54, 9 April 2011 (PDT)

:I love you Champ. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:43, 10 April 2011 (PDT)

== New article name ==
'Sup. For the past couple of days I've been working on merging the [[Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)]], [[Basement Rosechus]] and [[Mitch Sonichu]] pages, because they were all shit. The final draft of the merged page is [[User:Old meme/Sandbox|here]]. Both Freecell and Champ have given their approval, but we need a name before it's moved into the main namespace and replaces the old pages. I suggested "Asperchu parodies", but Champ doesn't like it. Put your suggestions for a new name here and we'll go with whatever sounds good. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:36, 20 May 2011 (PDT)

==Jerkops wanted==
I'm looking for a few temporary jerkops, possible permanent position. Obvious qualifications include not being a fag (in the colliqual sense, of course - homosexuals are a-okay) and an editing history on the CWCki (in other words, I recognize your name). Experience with wikis a plus. Contact me if you feel you're qualified. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:08, 25 July 2011 (PDT)

==Liquid's YouTube account is gone==
As some of you might already know, Liquid closed his YouTube account recently. Luckily for us, all of his videos were mirrored on the CWCville library beforehand. Unfortunately, most the Liquid videos which were embedded on this website were from his YouTube account rather than CWCville library. We need to do some massive work here and re-embed Liquid's videos. I already started fixing videos on some articles and I've seen some other guy here helping as well, I hope others will also pitch in. --[[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 14:39, 27 July 2011 (PDT)

== Emails vs E-mails ==

Currently we have a pages "Emails" to list the various Email pages on the CWCki, with some individual pages ("Clyde_E-mails") using a dash, and some not ("Megan_Emails,_2008"). This means a search for "Clyde Emails" or a search for "Megan E-mails" will fail to find these pages. I propose we create redirects to every "e-mails" page from the equivalent "emails" one and vice-versa to make searching easier. Any objections? [[User:BubonicTheHedgehog|BubonicTheHedgehog]] 01:34, 7 August 2011 (PDT)
*Huh, looks like "Email" is the preferred spelling, according to [[Wikipedia:Email|Wikipedia]] at least. So yeah, we really should be all "email" then, no?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:03, 7 August 2011 (PDT)
**Email seems more natural to me, I'd support a change to all pages being under "email". Since visitors may search with either one, I think redirects would still be worthwhile. As far as I can tell I don't have move permissions, so I can't do that part, but if you want tomorrow I can start adding redirects from "E-mail" to any pages that already have the preferred "email" usage. [[User:BubonicTheHedgehog|BubonicTheHedgehog]] 02:15, 7 August 2011 (PDT)
:::*Hmm, I'm starting to move some of these and I notice there's a discrepancy in style. For instance, the Chris emails will be "Chris emails 20xx" whereas the Megan emails are like "Megan emails, 20xx." See, there's that comma, which is irregular. Parenthesis should do the trick, like "Megan emails (20xx)" or should we do them like the Chris emails with just a space in between? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:27, 7 August 2011 (PDT)
:::**Eh, probably just a space, that'd be consistent with both the format for the Chris emails and years in the timeline and such. The only place I see () is for the exact dates (IE IRC Chatlogs which uhh.. actually are also inconsistent, some are like (12/1/09) and some are like (12_January_09).) Anyway, my vote would be no parenthesis for year or month and year, parenthesis for exact dates. Then the dates just need to be made consistent. (Sorry, I seem to keep finding crap I can't fix myself) EDIT: looks like the dates are ok, they just have redirects.[[User:BubonicTheHedgehog|BubonicTheHedgehog]] 02:37, 7 August 2011 (PDT)

== Userboxes (Re {{tl|femdom}}) ==

''Moved from a now deleted category - may the userbox discussion continue --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]]''

I'm pretty lenient when it comes to user boxes, at least moreso than most people, but I think this is something along the lines of the furry user box in that it's inviting trouble for people. I mean, I have no problem personally with people who are into this sort of thing, whatever floats your boat, but I think that 1) this is inviting trouble, that is inviting people to get trolled such as the furry userbox and 2) do we really need to know which CWCki editors are into this sort of thing?

I mean, certain uses boxes have a purpose - it can tell me where your from can tell me what time zone you're in, what languages you can speak, what are your interests in editing the CWCki (for instance, if you like transcribing). Those sort of user boxes are helpful - if something needs transcribing, I can look at someone who has a Transcriber template on their page and ask them to do it, or have them look over a transcript. If I'm trying to decide who to make a jerkop, knowing where you're from can help me determine the coverage, so essentially the CWCki can constantly be monitored. I sorta brought the first userboxes mostly as ways to jazz up user pages and encourage people to participate on the CWCki. Unfortunately, some people see user boxes as an ends rather than a means and it seems to aggravate people.

I've brought this up before but no one seemed to comment, so I've left it as the status quo. But does anyone have a convincing argument why we should leave this user box, and does this really serve the CWCki to know which users are into this sort of thing?

Like I said, it's not just a problem with this template alone, it's with many other user boxes that really don't seem productiv

Thoughts?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:12, 3 September 2011 (PDT)

*Technically I should put this in the talk page of the template itself, but it's the fact we have an entire category devoted to this that really irks me.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:13, 3 September 2011 (PDT)

*I guess it doesn't really matter. I just saw how everybody had really random userboxes that didn't seem to have anything to do with anything and figured I would make one. I'm the only one using this userbox, so I guess that is the definition of a pointless userbox. [[User:Femdom|Femdom]] 07:25, 3 September 2011 (PDT)

*I don't mind this userbox. I think it'd be better off as a user subpage than in the template namespace, but I don't really care either way. - [[User:LucidFox|LucidFox]] 09:02, 3 September 2011 (PDT)

Eh, unlike Wikipedia - we don't have such a crowded template namespace - so I generally don't mind userboxes being in the template namespace. Some points about userboxes (I previously championed a revamp a while ago to help standardise them):
* Users creating new userboxes should consider how many people are likely to add it to their userpage. 5+ would be nice.
* If the userbox is too specific/unique (i.e. I made a userbox for CWCkipedians called Anonymax) then it will get deleted
* Users creating new userboxes should promote it to users to whom the userbox may apply, via their user talk page. Just a short "Hi, I made this userbox and thought it may be relevant to you" will do.
* Users should '''never''' edit the userpage of others to add a userbox - two exceptions:
:* A userbox has been moved, renamed or superceded by another userbox
:* The user doing the editing is a [[:Category:CWCki Jerkops|jerkop]]+, and has good reason to be messing with that page (for example, if we confirm that the user in question is Chris).

Stick to these guidelines, and I'm cool with our current userbox stance/unofficial policy. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 14:14, 3 September 2011 (PDT)

:*If this category and userbox are allowed, then it only encourages others to make categories and userboxes for their own peculiar fetishes. What's next, a userbox for men who like to swallow semen? One for people who like shoving things up their arse? Better yet, how about a general ''Category:Anal Play'' with individual subcategories and userboxes for ''Anal Beads'' and ''Dildos''? Like the furry example, the listing of sexual fetishes contributes nothing even remotely valuable to the CWCki, invites more sperging and faggotry, and encourages unwanted attention. If people want to talk about their sexual fetishes, then they should take them to the General section of the CWCki forum. Oh wait – [http://cwcki.yuku.com/topic/114/General-Forum-rules that kind of thing is forbidden] there too, and for a good reason. – [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] ([[User_talk:BrianBash|talk]]|[[Special:Contributions/BrianBash|cont]]) 17:09, 3 September 2011 (PDT)

Currently this is a candidate for deletion IMO - as I envision userboxes to be more like {{tl|IRCReg}}, {{tl|Britfag}} and {{tl|Hex-Box}}. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:21, 3 September 2011 (PDT)

Hey since I'm an admin, can I just obliterate the few crappy userboxes that exist like this one without having to call to order the CWCki community to debate about it? Another candidate for deletion is {{tl|UnderWatch}} (from Delabonte days). --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:27, 3 September 2011 (PDT)

Made some bold moves on this case. I've relocated the userbox to a subpage of Femdom's userspace ([[User:Femdom/Userbox]]) and moved the discussion that we had on the category page to here. Maybe I should have used the policy page - but meh. I deleted the category. Personalised userboxes should be in the user namespace, and not have a "CWCkipedians..." category. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 18:01, 3 September 2011 (PDT)
*I had similar thoughts, I just wanted a second opinion though. Good move, Anonymax.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:41, 4 September 2011 (PDT)

== Use of "bots" on CWCki ==

Just a heads up on any concern users may have about my recent use of bots on the CWCki. I use two "bots" at the moment which I'd rather not disclose the exact mechanics of - but basically they enable me to carry out maintenance tasks like fixing broken/double redirects and adding/removing categories and templates from pages much easier and faster. Most edits are reviewed fully by me before they are saved, however some (like the [[User:WelcomeBot|WelcomeBot]]) are just left to tick over on their own.

If anyone has any problems or questions about the use of bots on the CWCki, please feel free to raise them here. Additionally, if you feel there is a task that a bot would be suitable to carry out - please let me know. I own two bot accounts - Anonybot and WelcomeBot. They have "bot" user rights, which simply means that their edits are hidden from [[Special:RecentChanges]] to avoid spam. You can - however - click "Show bot edits" on the recent changes page to reveal all edits which the bots have been doing. Hopefully this will allay any concerns users may have about bot misbehaviour or malicious use.

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:02, 20 September 2011 (PDT)

*Hi, I saw a guy replacing all instances of Sauces with Sources and I figured there'd be some sort of find and replace bot that could do the same thing. [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 06:29, 5 October 2011 (PDT)
::Well - people do like to make like more difficult for themselves eh? I can get a bot on the case momentarily... --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 06:31, 5 October 2011 (PDT)
**Cool. As a note I like my like at its current level of difficulty.
::[[User:Anonybot|Anonybot]] is on the case. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 06:54, 5 October 2011 (PDT)
:::It is done. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 08:11, 5 October 2011 (PDT)
*Can you make a bot that is programmed to love? Yeah, I thought so.
:Srsly, nice work, you're not working harder, you're working smarter. Keep it up.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:25, 5 October 2011 (PDT)

== CWCki down for a week? ==

Hi guys, I wanted to add to the [[CWCki#History]] section that the CWCki voluntarily shut down for a week in honour of Bob's death. Does anyone have a screen grab of how the website looked when anyone tried to view it that week? Did it just 404 or was there a photo of Bob or anything. [[User:Shock Waves|Shock Waves]] 06:01, 1 November 2011 (PDT)
:Sonichu.com redirected to a simple page that read:
Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
4 September 1927 - 6 September 2011
...if I remember correctly. It was done partly out of respect, and partly to get everyone who was dogpiling the CWCki about his death to take a step back and calm the fuck down. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 07:36, 1 November 2011 (PDT)
:Good idea I say, don't suppose there's a way I can still link to the page, or is it deleted now? [[User:Shock Waves|Shock Waves]] 11:20, 3 November 2011 (PDT)

CWCki:General

2011-11-01T13:01:51Z

Shock Waves: /* CWCki down for a week? */ new section

File talk:CWCSICLE.jpg

2011-03-11T14:16:38Z

Shock Waves: rep

== Sauce? ==
Where's this from? [[User:Shock Waves|Shock Waves]] 10:27, 6 March 2011 (PST)
:[http://www.oglaf.com/snowbound/ Here] and [http://www.oglaf.com/snowbound/2/ here] are the originals. Someone on /cwc/ shopped them. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 13:19, 6 March 2011 (PST)
::Thanks mate [[User:Shock Waves|Shock Waves]] 06:16, 11 March 2011 (PST)

File talk:CWCSICLE.jpg

2011-03-06T18:27:01Z

Shock Waves: Created page with "== Sauce? == Where's this from? ~~~~"

== Sauce? ==
Where's this from? [[User:Shock Waves|Shock Waves]] 10:27, 6 March 2011 (PST)

CWCki:General

2011-02-21T17:48:15Z

Shock Waves: /* Chris, the Master of Disguise */ add

Jackie e-mails Part 2

2011-02-21T17:23:20Z

Shock Waves: fix

#REDIRECT [[Jackie E-mails 2]]

Daniel Weston

2011-02-21T17:06:53Z

Shock Waves: fix

[[Image:DanielWeston.JPG|thumb|right|Daniel Weston]]

[[Image:MayflowerBoat.jpg|thumb|right|The ''Mayflower'' Biological warfare from England by dumping their retards into the American gene pool.]]

{{quote|As a matter of fact, among my, uh, mother's side in the uh, ancestral traits [sighs] we have uh, we have been traced down to Daniel Weston, who was on the main--''Mayflower'' voyage.|Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007}}

According to [[Chris]], '''Daniel Weston''' was one of his illustrious ancestors. He was allegedly aboard the ''[[Wikipedia:Mayflower|Mayflower]]'', the ship that sailed the [[Wikipedia:Pilgrim Fathers|Pilgrim Fathers]] to [[America]] in [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1620]].<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref> However, according to all known passenger lists of the ''Mayflower'', there was never a man named Weston aboard...<ref>[http://genforum.genealogy.com/weston/messages/54.html Genealogy Forum]</ref> Weston, according to Chris, was descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], though that in turn [[Fail|raises the question]] of why a descendant of royalty (especially Catholic royalty) would be fleeing England on the ''Mayflower'' (which was full of Puritans) in the first place. There is however, a possibility that Chris actually meant to say [[wikipedia:Pilgrim Fathers|Thomas Weston]], an English merchant who funded The Mayflower. Chris later admitted that Daniel Weston was not on the ''Mayflower'' and that "he made his voyage later on."<ref>[[Mailbag 27]]</ref>

This is either complete bullshit from Chris, or his mother easing the awful truth that he's in fact just descended from a bunch of poor, [[Autism|socially backward]], [[Chris_and_sex#Incest|inbred]], [[Barbara|retarded]] [[Bob Chandler|hillbillies]] like everyone else in [[Virginia]]. In fact, Chris's earliest known maternal ancestor was a [[William Wynn|hick]] whose [[Robert Pettis Wynn|grandson]] was an [[alcohol]]ic, adulterous failure in life, who in turn would have a [[chris|great-grandson]] who is just a failure in life.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d9842.html#P1254</ref>
==References==

<references/>

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Weston, Daniel}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Chandler Family Tree

2011-02-21T17:04:43Z

Shock Waves: update family tree

This '''Chandler Family Tree''' includes pets and people [[Chris]] imagines to be related to him.

[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Ancient leader]] [[Anne Boleyn]],
[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|of the]] [[Anne Boleyn|Queen of England]]──────Mary Boleyn
[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee Clan]] │
│ ???
│ │
│ Richard Weston,
│ 1st Earl of Portland
│ │
│ ???
??? │
│ [[Daniel Weston]]
│ │
│ ???
│ │
│ ├────────────────────────────────────┬─────────┬─────────────────────┐
│ │ │ │ │
[[Bob|Robert]] [[Barbara|Barbara]] Jack Ran [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]] Harriett Tom [[Minor_Family_Members#Uncle_Raymond|Raymond]]
???---------[[Bob|Franklin]]-------------[[Barbara|Anne]]-----------Dale or Coleman [[Aunt Corrina|Weston]] Ashby-----Ashby [[Minor_Family_Members#Uncle_Raymond|Weston]]
│ [[Bob|Chandler Jr.]] │ [[Barbara|Weston]] │ Smithey Yeatts │
┌───────────┤ ┌─────┴─────┐ │ │
│ │ │ │ │ │
[[David Alan Chandler|David]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Carol]] [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] [[cats]] [[Cole]] [[Minor_Family_Members#Jonathan_Carey|Jonathan]]
[[David Alan Chandler|Alan]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Suzanne]] [[Chris|Weston]] [[Cole|Smithey]] [[Minor_Family_Members#Jonathan_Carey|Carey]]
[[David Alan Chandler|Chandler]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Chandler]] [[Chris|Chandler]]
│ │
│ ┌─────┴─────┬───────────┬───────────┐
│ │ │ │ │
[[Savannah]] [[Patti]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] [[Sonichu]]-----[[Rosechu]]
[[Savannah|Chandler]] [[Patti|Chandler]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Weston]] │
[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Chandler]] │
┌─────┴─────┬───────────┐
│ │ │
[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Cerah]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Christine]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie]]

==Poké Family Tree==

[[Image:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG|thumb|Poké Family Tree]]
[[Image:456-FamilyTreeAndCar.JPG|thumb|Poké Family Tree]]

Chris drew his family tree in the form of [[Pokémon]]. He gives pilgrim hats to those on the Weston side and feathered headdresses to those on the Chandler side, both in reference to the [[Daniel Weston|superfluous]] [[Cherokian Clan|tales]] of Chris's heritage.

Below is a transcription with the format ''Name / Date of Birth / Description / Culture and Pokemon''.

; Top row

* [[Cole Smithey]] / born 7.24.1969 / Likes to play drums. Movie reviewer for New York Newspaper / English Pilgrim Electabuzz
* [[Chris|Christian W. Chandler]] / born 2.24.82 / Likes [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic]], and [Mario?]. 12th Grade student at [[Manchester High]] / Pikachu with Both Pilgrim and [[Cherokian Clan|Native American]] garb.
* [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Carol Chandler]] / born 7.7.64 / Math wiz at college. / Native American Wigglytuff
* [[David Alan Chandler|Allen Chandler]] [sic] / born 12.2?.62 / ophthalmologist / Native American Alakazam

; Row 2

* Harriett Ashby / born ?.?.? / Administrative Assistant. Married to Tom Ashby / English Pilgrim Clefable
* [[Barbara|Barbara W. Chandler]] / born ?.?.? / ??? / English Pilgrim [[Pokémon#Snorlax|Nidoqueen]]
* [[Bob|Robert F. Chandler]] / born 2.9.1928 / Retired Engineer. Likes old music. / Native American Nidoking

; Row 3

* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Clefairy
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Haunter
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Vulpix
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Farfetch’d

; Row 4

* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Victreebell
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Fearow
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Dugtrio
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Jynx
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Porygon
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Jigglypuff
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Sandslash

; Row 5

* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Exeggutor
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Kadabra

; Bottom row

* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Hitmonlee
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Nidorina
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Persian

== Actual family tree ==
Also note that Chris's great grandfather, Robert P. Wynn, was allegedly a two-timing drunk who "failed to provide even the most basic support for his wife and children".<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

Imaginary people removed:

[[File:Harvey Powers updated family tree.gif]]

== See also ==

*[[Minor Family Members]]

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Family Members| ]]
[[Category:Lists]]

File:Harvey Powers updated family tree.gif

2011-02-21T16:56:23Z

Shock Waves: An updated version of Chris's family tree using the [http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P14679 Harvey Powers sauce]

An updated version of Chris's family tree using the [http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P14679 Harvey Powers sauce]

CWCki:General

2011-02-21T15:29:34Z

Shock Waves: /* The CWCki Quality Review */ fix pipe in external link

Jerry

2011-02-21T15:17:08Z

Shock Waves: fix

#REDIRECT [[Minor Family Members#Jerry Harmon]]

Jerry Harmon

2011-02-20T22:10:21Z

Shock Waves: Merging, probably not notable enough for own article

#REDIRECT [[Minor Family Members#Jerry Harmon]]

Minor Family Members

2011-02-20T22:08:39Z

Shock Waves: probably not notable enough for own article, merging here

[[Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 1.jpg|thumb|right|It's a Chandler family reunion! From bottom left, clockwise: Uncle Raymond, Cousin Jonathan, [[Christian]], [[Bob]], and everyone's favorite, [[Yawning Squirtle]].]]
[[Chris]]'s family has several '''minor family members''' who aren't important enough for their own articles. Generally those family members beyond the confines of [[14 Branchland Court]] lead relatively normal lives.

==Chandler family==

=== Carol Chandler ===

'''Dr. Carol Suzanne Chandler''' (born 7 July 1969)<ref>[[:Image:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG]]</ref> is Chris's half-sister and daughter of [[Bob Chandler]].

According to Chris, Carol is a Math "[[Chris and English#Spelling|Geinus]]" [sic] and "wiz". She won the [[1980s#1988|1988]] Mathematics department McShane Prize at the [[University of Virginia]].<ref>[http://artsandsciences.virginia.edu/mathematics/newsevents/awards/index.html Department of Mathematics], University of Virginia</ref>

Carol attended [[Providence Middle School]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> Later, she was a member of [[Wikipedia:Phi Beta Kappa Society|Phi Beta Kappa]]. She earned a Ph.D. and is working for the federal government in Washington, D.C.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref>

=== David Chandler ===
[[Image:Davidchandler.jpg|right|thumb|David Alan Chandler, Call 1-900-DOCTORB. The B is for bargain!]]

'''Dr. David Alan Chandler''' (born 28 November 1962<ref>http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/8/83/457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG</ref>)<ref>http://www.healthgrades.com/directory_search/physician/profiles/dr-md-reports/dr-david-chandler-md-0ef7119f.cfm</ref> is an ophthalmologist (eye doctor/surgeon) in [[Richmond]], Glen Allen and Mechanicsville, Virginia, son of [[Bob Chandler]] and an unknown mother, and older half-brother to Chris.

David went to high school in [[Wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]]<ref name="richmondeye.com">[http://www.richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp]</ref>, studied medicine at [[Wikipedia:Virginia Commonwealth University|Virginia Commonwealth University]], and trained at [[Wikipedia:Washington Hospital Center|Washington Hospital Center]].<ref>[http://www.wellness.com/dir/2474208/ophthalmologist/va/glen-allen/david-chandler-richmond-eye-associates-md]</ref> He has donated at least $1,000 to the Republican Party<ref>[http://www.campaignmoney.com/political/contributions/david-chandler.asp?cycle=08]</ref>, showing that, at least, he agrees with his father on politics. He specializes in small incision cataract extraction with lens implant, medical and surgical management of glaucoma, and the diagnosis and treatment of diabetic eye disease.<ref name="richmondeye.com"/>

Very little is known about him, apart that Chris had an eye exam with him on 6 January [[2004]] and that Chris wasn't aware that David had a daughter by the name of Savannah, making Chris an uncle and Bob a grandfather.

Suffice to say, this is further evidence that the Chandler family bonds are "strained" at best.

Diary entry:
{{quote|'''January 6:''' Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist [''sic''], and big half-brother, Dr. David Alan Chandler, for an Eye-Exam. I needed new lenses, but I can keep my [[Pedo-glasses|current frames]]. But apparently, he has an 8-year-old daughter, Savannah. So for about 8 years, I’ve been an uncle and didn’t know it. Of course, this also makes my parents into grandparents as well. Needless to say, we were happy to know about that.|Christian Weston Chandler}}

=== Savannah Chandler ===
'''Savannah Chandler''' is Chris's half-niece and daughter of [[David Alan Chandler]] (Chris' half-brother).

Virtually zero information on her exists other than the fact that she was eight years old as of the very first week of [[2004]], which would mean she was most likely born in [[1990s#1995|1995]] or possibly in the first week of [[1990s#1996|1996]].

It's assumed that Chris has never met Savannah, as he has never provided any further information about her since his aforementioned ''January 6, [[2004]]'' blog entry about him discovering that she existed.
==Weston family==
=== Jonathan Carey ===
[[Image:JohnKerry.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's cousin?]]

Jonathan Carey<ref>http://www.woodfuneralservice.com/obituary.aspx?MemberId=55269&MName=Corrina%20Weston%20Carey%20Inge</ref> is a distant relative of Chris (the son of Barbara's sister's brother-in-law), who was married on the last weekend of June, [[2009]]. He lives in Red Oak, [[Virginia]]. According to Chris, his presence at the wedding is proof that he did [[lies|not murder]] [[Billy Mays]].

June 2009 Wedding Photos
<gallery>
Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 2.jpg
Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 3.png
Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 4.jpg
Image:ECP 00077.jpg|And an unwanted gift, too!
</gallery>

===Uncle Raymond ===
Uncle Raymond is Chris's uncle, and presumably Jonathan's father. According to Chris, Uncle Raymond can be contacted as a witness to Chris at Jonathan's wedding. Raymond is the brother of [[Barbara|Snorlax]], making Jonathan her nephew.

===Aunt Harriet===
[[Image:0039-AuntHerriet.jpg|thumb|left|This is pretty much all we've got.]]
[[File:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|thumb|right|Save for this.]]
'''Harriet Ashby''' (née '''Weston''') is Barbara's sister, seems to admire the American presidents, and considering the number of flags she has on her Christmas tree, she is a TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOT.

== Miscellaneous ==

===Jerry Harmon===
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with [[Jack Dale Smithey]] and [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]]. However in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember. |Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}

== Sources ==
<references />

== External links ==
*[http://www.richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp Dr. Chandler's profile]

==See Also==
*[[Cole Smithey]]
*[[Aunt Corina]]

{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:People]]

Cole Smithey

2011-02-18T06:49:58Z

Shock Waves: /* Relationship with Barbara and Bob */ w/l

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole, [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 e-mail #3]]}}
{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|[[Barbara Chandler]]<ref>[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail #1]]</ref>}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Colesmithey.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Cole Smithey
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Joseph Cole Smithey
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| 24 July [[Pre-1980#1960s|1963]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Ron Coleman Yeatts
[[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Film critic, musician
|-
|}

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara's]] first son, and one of the successful escapees from the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole seems to be a pretty normal guy. [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole's e-mails to Chris]] revealed a lot about the Chandler family.

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==
[[File:Bobcomes home copy.jpg|thumb|left|A likely summary for Bob and Cole's relationship.]]
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]
Cole isn't on good terms with [[Bob]] or [[Barbara]]. Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his stepfather [[Jerry]] with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios." [[Bob]] isn't exactly a role model either, as he worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]</ref>

Barbara lied about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to Jack Dale Smithey, Cole's alleged father, but rather to Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts.

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.

==Relationship with Chris==
[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]
Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself.<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]]<ref name="email07-03-06p3" />, which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.

Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an e-mail asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the ''PaRappa'' contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris. When Chris's [[nudes]] were sent from his e-mail in [[September 2008]], Cole replied with "DO NOT CONTACT ME BY E-MAIL AGAIN."

'''tl;dr:''' Barbara is a whore and Chris doesn't give a shit about anybody but himself.

===Cole in the comics===
Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a "Professor Cole" listed, being the one who gave [[Kel]] the [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] who would become [[Rosechu]]. This means that even his half-brother is stuck in [[CWCville]].

==Personal success==
Cole resided in [[Wikipedia:California|California]] for sixteen years and has been in [[Wikipedia:New York|New York]] since around [[1996]].<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 1]]</ref> Cole lives with his wife Katherine, is the self-confessed "smartest film critic in the world,"<ref>[http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]</ref> and plays guitar in a jazz band.<ref name="email07-03-06p3">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 3]]</ref>

===Internet infamy===
On 18 [[June 2010]], Cole became the first person out of 131 reviewers to give ''[[Wikipedia:Toy Story 3|Toy Story 3]]'' a "rotten" review on the website [http://www.rottentomatoes.com Rotten Tomatoes].<ref>[http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775 http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775]</ref> (Only two other RT reviewers, a noted [[niggo]] troll-critic [[Wikipedia:Armond White|Armond White]] and "Movie Martyr" Jeremy Heilman, gave the film a negative review.) Immediately after posting this controversial review, Cole received hundreds of comments which relentlessly flamed his intelligence. This may prove that [[Internet]] infamy runs in the family.

Notably, however, Cole's negative review may have a rational psychological basis and he shouldn't be judged too harshly. Consider these quotes and see if they sound familiar:

<blockquote>
(...) the inappropriately [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cruel]] and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|drawn out climax sequence]] is [[Sonichu 10|too intense for younger children]] who will be lured into the "G-rated" film." ... Andy is off to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]], and must finally put away [[Toys|childish things]]--something most boys do before junior high. Talk about arrested development--[[love quest|this kid isn't getting any dates]].
</blockquote>

The same goes for his personal issues with [[Snorlax]].

<blockquote>
Andy's [[Barbara Chandler|careless mom]]--whose sense of parental responsibility is nonexistent, "accidentally" tosses out the trash bag filled with Woody's pals on the curb. ... abandonment is a distressing theme smuggled into the story.
</blockquote>

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.
</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/1716056/2/meet_a_critic_cole_smithey_the_new_york_writer_with_a_rock_n_roll_past Rotten Tomatoes interviews Cole.]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:People]]

Barbara Chandler

2011-02-18T06:49:30Z

Shock Waves: /* Smithey and Yeatts */ w/l

{{quote|I ain't got no [[black]] ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!|Barbara, during a [[Prank calls|prank call]].}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriage'''
| Ron Coleman Yeatts 
[[Robert Franklin Chandler|Bob]]
|-
| '''Issue'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office Worker (Ret.)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|E-mail to Blanca]]</ref> (born [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the wife of [[Bob Chandler]], ex-wife of Ran Coleman Yeatts and terrible mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref>

==Appearance==
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's depiction.]]
As recently as [[2007]] Barbara was reasonably slim<ref>[[:File:Bob 80th.jpg]]</ref>, but, along with Chris, has gained a lot of weight in recent years. Due to her [[Obesity|massive size]], she is "affectionately" referred to as "[[Wikipedia:Snorlax|Snorlax]]" by [[trolls]]. Barb's size is likely one of the reasons she sleeps a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skips [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio|Church Audio]]</ref> Barb has no eyebrows in the first picture on this article. for some strange reason.
==Biography==
She was born Barbara Anne Weston in [[1941]] in [[Wikipedia:Charlotte County, Virginia|Charlotte County]].<ref>[http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html]</ref>
==Smithey and Yeatts==
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|left|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]
Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] in [[Richmond, Virginia]], near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in [[1963]]. Throughout his life, Barbara lied to Cole about his father's identity. She insisted that Cole's father was Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed to be married, but records show that she actually married one Ran '''Cole'''man Yeatts in [[1961]]. To further fuel Cole's later rage, Ran Yeatts visited them as a "friend" when Cole was a child.

During Cole's childhood, Barbara abused Cole along with her then-partner [[Jerry]].<ref name="email07-03-06p1">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail from Cole to Chris, page 1]]</ref> Then came Bob, who made Cole rage even harder with his mean-spirited [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republicanism]]. Based on experiences with all these men, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

Barbara visited Cole only once in twenty-seven years.<ref name="email07-03-06p1" />
{{-}}

==Marriage with Bob==
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker. Too bad physical appearance is genetic.]]
Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a [[Guitar Hero|karaoke]] night in [[1979]]. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being [[Alcohol|drunk]] [[Slow-in-the-minds|retards]].<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 E-mail #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They married in [[1980]].<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara has not had [[sex]] with Bob for at least two decades. They have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending [[junior high]] and [[high school]] in [[Chris's_homes#Richmond|Midlothian, Virginia]], Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in [[Ruckersville]] to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with [[Wikipedia:Dominion Resources|Virginia Power]] until retirement.<ref>[[Mailbag 32]]</ref>

Instead of accepting that their marriage isn't what it used to be, that they have different goals for [[Chris|their son]] in life and move on like any other healthy human being, she is either too lazy, poor, and/or unwilling to explain to Chris the intricacies of a divorce and its effect on a family dynamic, thereby putting herself in the inescapable rut she is in today.

In early 2009, she threatened suicide after finding out that Chris was stealing from her. Whether or not she'd actually follow through, or if she just made the claim to get Chris's ass in gear, is unknown.

{{-}}

==Pampering of Chris==
{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]]<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an [[Incest|intimate moment]].]]

According to [[Cole]], Barbara and Bob left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]].<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]], [[White knight emails|White Knight E-mails]]</ref> As a result, Chris believes he is so irresistible to women that [[PandaHalo]] would not stop kissing him once she met him.{{cite}} This behavior extends to Bob to some degree as well, as she spends most of the [[Matthew Noble call]] denying that [[Bob]] was yelling at anyone.

Barbara was Chris's date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|prom]].

On at least two occasions, Barbara visited [[The GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake. In the fall of [[2007]], after a photo of Chris taken at the store wound up on the [[Internet]], she interrogated [[Daniel Mimms]] as to the origins of the picture and threatened legal action. The next summer, after Chris was kicked out of the store for good, she returned to try and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

She is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and go to [[Chris and the law|prison]]. Given some of the violent state of some of his [[videos]] and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''[[Wikipedia:To Catch A Predator|To Catch A Predator]]''-esque sting operation during the [[Julie]] fiasco.<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref> She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years.

While having a special needs child is a major [[stress]]or in any marriage, rather than getting genetic counseling and family therapy to cope with raising an autistic child, Chris's parents have gone the old-fashioned route of expecting little to nothing of their son and treating him as [[Slow-in-the-minds|an imbecile]], with a modern "victim complex" spin, his entire life. This would have been understandable in the days before psychology — like when Bob was growing up — but nowadays it's known that even those afflicted with [[Wikipedia:Down's syndrome|Down's syndrome]] can lead healthy and fulfilling independent lives if they receive supportive parenting and appropriate professional help.

==Recent health problems==
In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was [[Wikipedia:Foodborne illness|a foodborne illness]].<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by inflammation of the colon. It manifests in [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|diarrhea]] and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans of ''Sonichu'']] have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

A recent [[field agent]] report revealed that Barbara has lost significant weight as a consequence of her colitis.{{cite}} Nonetheless, the epithet "Snorlax" has been grandfathered (grandmothered?) and remains the preferred way to refer to the formerly rotund woman.

==Hoarding tendencies==
Though all three inhabitants of 14 Branchland Court likely share responsibility for the mounds of stuff that clutter their home, Chris points to his mother as the primary packrat of the household. In one of his [[Jackie Chat 5|chats with Jackie]], he recounts an incident where his mother literally buried the family's otherwise functional [[PC]] behind a mound of new possessions acquired from a Goodwill thrift store.

==Appearances==
===Comics===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being an adequate son.]]
Barbara made a brief appearance in "Classic ''Sonichu'' Strips" in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

===Audio===
* c. [[1998]]: Barbara requests a song on [[KCWC]].
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].<ref>[[Mumble 2]]</ref>
* 17 [[February 2009]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]</ref>
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[November 2009]]: Toward the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]]: [[Matthew Noble call]]: In her longest audio contact to date, Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of The GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* 25 [[September 2010]]: [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]: At the end of the video, she can be heard saying "hello" to Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 16]]</ref>.
* [[Prank_calls#Snake_Productions_Calls_Barbara_Chandler|SHUT UP!!!]]: Barb yells over the phone.

===Video ===
Barbara has only appeared once briefly on video to date, in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80's like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he [[Fail|took his mom as his date]].
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Bob_80th.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF!!]
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX.]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Cole Smithey E-mails

2011-02-18T06:47:41Z

Shock Waves: w/l

This page is a list of [[emails]] exchanged by [[Chris]] and his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] from March to July, [[2007]].

{{EmailReply|
Hey, Big Bro. :)

Mar 4, 2007

Remember your lil' bro.? It's me, Christian C. It's been a long while. I'm doing good. I graduated from [[PVCC]] with two [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design]] Degrees. And currently, I'm getting by with livin' with my folks and a [[monthly tugboat]]. [[Barbara|Mama]] is doing okay; she's been retired for like over a year now; she feels happier not having to rush back-and-forth through traffic and all that [[stress|hustle and bustle]]. But currently, she mostly sleeps on the couch during a bunch of the day, yet she does get up sometimes to go out with the family or do some work. We haven't seen much of our aunts either.

I have talked to mom, and I quote her when she said, "I do not regret giving life to Cole. We've had a bunch of good years up till the madness. And all things considered I still love Cole very much like any mother would for her son." She really does. :) And I have

<The rest is cut off>}}

{{Email|
Re: Hey, Big Bro. :)

Mar 6, 2007

It's very Christian of [[Barbara]] to not regret having given birth to me but I'm an [[Wikipedia:atheism|atheist]]. I also have no
regrets about emerging from her womb. Although, she is mistaken about the "bunch of good years"
we supposedly had together. I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former
stepfather [[Jerry]], where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings
to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults. The
treatment I received in [[Richmond]], Va was another matter altogether. To raise a child in such
conditions is inexcusable. Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They
were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather
not remember.

As for Barbara professing her "love" for me, I have not seen any evidence of it in close to 20 years,
and that's a very long time. [[Barbara]]'s definition of love is [[CWC-isms|a hackneyed sentimental term she uses to
extract a response]]. Love is not something you say, it's something you do by staying in contact with
a person, visiting, communicating, asking questions and answering them. You will remember that in
the 16 years that I lived in California, Barbara only visited me one time. In the 11 years that I have
lived in New York, she has never visited me. 
In spite of the fact that it is always the parent's responsibility to guide their relationship with their
children, on several occasions I have gone beyond the call of duty to visit her. But I will never make
such an effort again.

The crux of my problem with Barbara comes from two sources. The first is [[Bob]]'s bitter influence on her, which worked to separate our relationship just as Bob did with his own children with whom he has no association. In nearly 44 years of life, I have never met a meaner or more reprehensible [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republican]] cur than [[Bob Chandler]]. I hope that you will e-mail me when he dies so that I can celebrate. Our mutual hatred has never been a secret, and it points out Barbara's proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates.

The second and more compelling issue that permanently ruined my relationship with Barbara is the litany of [[lies]] she tells anyone who'll listen about the identity of my biological father and about her marriage history.

After lying to me about the identity of my father, Barbara refused to come clean and disclose the truth on the eve on my wedding. This might not sound much to you, but I assure you that I spent 15 years attempting to track down my real father with no help from the one person who could clear the air with a few words, your mother.

As it turns out, Barbara was never married to the man she swore was my real father (Jack Dale Smithey) and to whom she said she was married, but she was married to Ran Coleman Yeatts, a man who visited us when I was a child and who was always introduced as a "friend." I think the fact that Ran's middle name is "Coleman" tells you all you need to know about the true identity of my father. Realize here the double [[lie]] that Barbara told about who she had been married to. It's an example of pathological behavior.

Even in their handling of you when you were a child left alone everyday for years by an unfit baby sitter, Barbara and Bob proved themselves to be careless parents. Everyday of our lives, you and I both pay a price for our parents' selfishness. Bob and Barbara pay a bigger price. They are the lonely and tortured people that they imagined their enemies to be. That is a curse that I would not wish on my worst enemy, especially not my own family.

Yes, I have a great life living in New York City, seeing six movies a week and interviewing my heroes. I live with a wonderful women named Katherine, whose family treats me like one of their own. I play guitar in a Jazz combo every Wednesday night. I spend two weeks out of every year on the French Riviera at the [[Wikipedia:Cannes Film Festival|Cannes Film Festival]], and two weeks in California every [[Christmas]] with Katherine's family. I have everything that I have ever wanted except a mother's love.

The moral of the story here is that just because someone is a mother does not mean that they are automatically a good person or that they are capable of acting as a parent. When Barbara thinks of me every single day of her life, just as I think about her, she may not regret the many wasted days of opportunity she had to share a relationship with her first son. But she does regret the fact that the opportunity will never come again. The best she can hope for is to read every word that I write, in search of clues that will never come.

If you want a kick, Google my name and you'll see some of the many newspapers that run my stuff.

Go ahead and send your [[DVD]] to my address listed below. You and I may be related, but our mother only loves you.

Cole}}

{{EmailReply|
Hey, Big Bro. :)

7/20/07

I hope you're doing well.

Anyhoo, I have a small favor to ask of you, I have previously submitted a video for Playstation's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappea [''sic''] the Rapper contest]], and I am currently among the Top 10 Contestants. If I win the Grand Prize, I can take my [[Megan|Sweet Friend]] with me to the Penny Arcade Expo in Seattle, WA.

Please go to the (http://www.us.playstation.com/vote/parappatherapper/default.aspx ) Playstation Website's Voting Page, and Vote for me; I'm the Lucky 7th Video (the one with the Blue Guitar)
Thank you, and I hope you all are still doing well. :)

Take care;
Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{Email|
Re: Hey, Big Bro. :)

7/21/07

Before you ask any favors, you might want to consult your mother about the past 20 years of secrecy, neglect, avarice and coldness that have irreparably ruined her relationship with me.

Did Bob finally die?

Cole}}

{{EmailReply|
Hey, Big Bro. :)

7/21/07

Joseph Cole Smithey, while I have an understanding of most of the events in momma's past, I am a man who does not judge one in regards of such unpleasentries.

Besides which, [[ego|that is not the point]]; I have a chance to win a trip to Seattle, Washington, attend a big gaming event, possibly take a tour of [[Nintendo]] of [[America]] Inc, two [[PSP]]s with [[PaRappa the Rapper|Parapper the Rapper]] [''sic''] games, and if I should win, I would take my sweet friend, [[Megan Schroeder]]. Although we are not yet on romantic conclusions, I still am fond of her and care about her very much.

I'm only requesting for a vote towards possible romance, towards [[Hanky-panky|a great gaming expierence]] [[Virgin with rage|I have not expierence before]], and towards potental great footage on my next [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|"CWC On TV" DVD]] that I will likely put together around my 50th or sooner.

On another topic, I have viewed your website numerous times, and I have enjoyed reading your well detailed reviews on the movies. I am looking forward to purchasing the DVDs for [[Wikipedia:Grindhouse (film)|Grindhouse]] (Planet Terror/Death Proof), [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]:Movie Film For Theaters, possibly [[Wikipedia:Spider-Man 3|Spider-Man 3]], and [[Transformers]] (I'm a total Autobot fan).

I hope you and your girlfriend are doing well and getting along, and I wish you two the best. And keep up the good work on your reviews. :)

Your Lil' Half bro;
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Email|
Re: Hey, Big Bro. :)

7/23/07

I'll make a deal with you. You find out the identity of my real father from Barbara and e-mail me the person's name, and I will vote for you in your effort to travel to Seattle.

Deal?

Cole}}

{{EmailReply|
Cool.

7/23/07

Well, okay. I just checked with our mother, with total confidence, and upon random remembering, I thought for a moment "Ramblin'" Randy; boy was that a totally goofy misconception. Anyway, the name of your Biological father is '''Jack Dale Smithey'''.

Good luck finding anything about him on the web; he was (maybe is) a total [[alcohol|drunk]] and loser. The only good things that came about in that marrage, said our mother, was the fancy wedding (it was a real sister-pleaser, and it pleased our grandmother as well; may she rest in peace), the love feeling that was there for a while, and

<The rest is cut off>}}

{{Email|
Re: Cool.

7/24/07

We have a problem. Jack Dale Smithey is not my biological father. Barbara lied to me in saying that she was married to Jack. However, I do have a copy of her marriage certificate to Ran Coleman Yeatts on June 16, 1961. It seems likely, since Ran's middle name is "Coleman" that this man is my biological father.

Check your information. I will only participate in our deal if I am convinced that the truth has been given.}}

{{Email|
Re: Cool.

7/24/07

I'd also like to add that Barbara never said anything about ever being married to Ran Coleman Yeatts. I would never have know about the marriage had I not made a special trip to Richmond to get copies of all her marriage certificates, which by the way did not include a certificate of marriage to [[Jerry Harmon]] - you figure that one out on your own.

Can you imagine having an essential part of your personal family history shrouded in mystery for 44 years because the one person who could clear the air insists on lying to you. After hiring a private detective to locate Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida and tracking him down, only to have Barbara hang up the phone in my face when I asked her about his revelations, I really don't give a fuck about her or about her fucking lies.

Just FYI.
Cole}}

{{Email|
We have a problem.

7/24/07

We have a problem. Jack Dale Smithey is absolutely not my biological father.

Check your information. I will only participate in our deal if I am convinced that the truth has been given.

Barbara lied in even saying that she was ever married to Jack Dale Smithey. There is no marriage license to support her claim and no marriage photos.

However, I do have a copy of her marriage certificate to Ran Coleman Yeatts on June 16, [[1961]]. It seems likely, since Ran's middle name is "Coleman," that this man is my biological father. However, Barbara never spoke of this marriage and Ran was a frequent visitor to our house when I was young as a "friend of the family." I would never have know about the marriage had I not made a special trip to Richmond to get copies of all her marriage certificates, which by the way did not include a certificate of marriage to Jerry Harmon - you figure that one out on your own.

Can you imagine having an essential part of your personal family history shrouded in mystery for 44 years because the one person who could clear the air insists on lying to you? After hiring a private detective to locate Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida and tracking him down, only to have Barbara hang up the phone in my face when I asked her about his revelations. Needless to say, I really don't give a fuck about Barbara or about her fucking lies.

Regarding "drunk losers." Bob and Barbara met at a bar that my good friend Chuck McGuigan worked at as a bartender, at the time. He witnessed first-hand Barbara and Bob acting out as a couple of drunken losers. It was an ugly episode that Chuck remembers vividly. We still talk about it to this day. Check that information out with your parents.

You have to remember kid, I've been around a lot longer than you, and I know a lot more about Bob and Barbara than even they know I know. Good luck.

Kindest regards,
Cole Smithey
212-369-3937 www.ColeSmithey.com

Cole Smithey - Independent Voice Of Film Criticism Since 1997
Managing Editor
Cole Smithey Entertainment Syndicate}}

{{Email|
Re: We have a problem

7/24/07

Have you started to wonder why it is that you have this "misconception" about who my father. I would submit that since Barbara was never married to Jack, and my name "Cole" matches up with the middle name of the man she never told you she was actually married to (I have proof right here in my hand) Ran Coleman Yeatts.

Your mother has spun a wicked web of lies, and she is the only one who can sort them out. As I told you, I don't give a fuck about her lies. I'm not so interested as to seek out and pay for an expensive DNA test to tell me what I already know -- that Jack Dale Smithey is not my father.

Let me know when that fuck Bob finally drops.

Kindest regards,
Cole Smithey
212-369-3937 www.ColeSmithey.com

Cole Smithey - Independent Voice Of Film Criticism Since [[1997]]
Managing Editor
Cole Smithey Entertainment Syndicate
National, International, Regional Print and Online Media
Daily, Weekly, Monthly and Bi-Monthly Print Media

STAFF FILM EDITOR for London's montly "THE LOCAL MAG"
Member of OFCS (Online Film Critics Society) since 2005

125 E 90th Street #3B
New York NY 10128

Important Note: This e-mail may contain privileged, undisclosed or otherwise confidential information. If you have received this e-mail in error, you are hereby notified that any review, copying or distribution of it is strictly prohibited. Please inform me immediately and destroy the original transmittal. Thank you for your cooperation.}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 [[March 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG
Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG
Image:Cole 07-03-06-4.PNG
Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 [[July 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-07-23.PNG|23 [[July 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 [[July 2007]] emails
Image:Cole 07-07-24-2.PNG
Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{Emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jerry

2011-02-18T06:46:40Z

Shock Waves: Redirected page to Jerry Harmon

#REDIRECT [[Jerry Harmon]]

Jerry Harmon

2011-02-18T06:45:20Z

Shock Waves: Created this article as I had some confusion whilst reading the Cole E-mails

'''Jerry Harmon''' is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with [[Jack Dale Smithey]] and [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]]. However in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

{{quote|Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember. I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}

===Sauces===
<references />

Daniel Weston

2011-02-18T05:59:17Z

Shock Waves: add someone links just to add some clarity, am considering making stubs for these two

[[Image:DanielWeston.JPG|thumb|right|Daniel Weston]]

[[Image:MayflowerBoat.jpg|thumb|right|The ''Mayflower'' Biological warfare from England by dumping their retards into the American gene pool.]]

{{quote|As a matter of fact, among my, uh, mother's side in the uh, ancestral traits [sighs] we have uh, we have been traced down to Daniel Weston, who was on the main--''Mayflower'' voyage.|Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007}}

According to [[Chris]], '''Daniel Weston''' was one of his illustrious ancestors. He was allegedly aboard the ''[[Wikipedia:Mayflower|Mayflower]]'', the ship that sailed the [[Wikipedia:Pilgrim Fathers|Pilgrim Fathers]] to [[America]] in [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1620]].<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref> However, according to all known passenger lists of the ''Mayflower'', there was never a man named Weston aboard...<ref>[http://genforum.genealogy.com/weston/messages/54.html Genealogy Forum]</ref> Weston, according to Chris, was descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], though that in turn [[Fail|raises the question]] of why a descendant of royalty (especially Catholic royalty) would be fleeing England on the ''Mayflower'' (which was full of Puritans) in the first place. There is however, a possibility that Chris actually meant to say [[wikipedia:Pilgrim Fathers|Thomas Weston]], an English merchant who funded The Mayflower. Chris later admitted that Daniel Weston was not on the ''Mayflower'' and that "he made his voyage later on."<ref>[[Mailbag 27]]</ref>

This is either complete bullshit from Chris, or his mother easing the awful truth that he's in fact just descended from a bunch of poor, [[Autism|socially backward]], [[Chris_and_sex#Incest|inbred]], [[Barbara|retarded]] [[Bob Chandler|hillbillies]] like everyone else in [[Virginia]]. In fact, Chris's earliest known maternal ancestor was a [[William|hick]] whose [[Robert Pettis|grandson]] was an [[alcohol]]ic, adulterous failure in life, who in turn would have a [[chris|great-grandson]] who is just a failure in life.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d9842.html#P1254</ref>
==References==

<references/>

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Weston, Daniel}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Jerry Harmon

2011-02-18T03:37:49Z

Shock Waves: Redirected page to Barbara Chandler#Smithey and Yeatts

#REDIRECT [[Barbara Chandler#Smithey and Yeatts]]

Sketchybananinja

2011-02-18T03:18:46Z

Shock Waves: Redirected page to Anna McLerran

#REDIRECT [[Anna McLerran]]

End of evangelion

2011-02-14T01:57:29Z

Shock Waves: Redirected page to Anime#End of Evangelion

#REDIRECT [[Anime#End of Evangelion]]

The GAMe PLACe

2011-02-12T17:47:58Z

Shock Waves: fix

[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store.]]

'''The GAMe PLACe''' is a comic book, game, card, toy, and hobby shop in [[Charlottesville]]. For several years, up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' [[card games]]. The shop hosted the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|''Pokémon TCG'' League]], where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).

After a long period of scaring off customers and being a confrontational douche, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the managers, [[Michael Snyder]], on 28 [[August 2008]]. Since then, Chris has attempted several times to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.

==People of Note==
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at The GAMe PLACe in [[2005]], where they bonded over their shared interest in ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of [[2008]], although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.

The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at The GAMe PLACe (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the Internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].

[[Michael Snyder]], one of the store's managers (he isn't the owner, though he's sometimes mistakenly described as such) would eventually become one of Chris's real-life nemeses when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.<ref name=ban>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms' and Lucas' Q&A: Chris's ban from the store.]]</ref>

==Chris's Attitude at The GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyone's hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|[[Mimms]]}}
[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]
In his early days at The GAMe PLACe, Chris's behavior seems to have been more "childlike", for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.<ref name=homo>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Racism and Homophobia]]</ref> He also never failed to show up for ''Pokémon'' games in his old [[Chris and cosplaying|Ash Ketchum costume]].

The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his usual colorful clown shirts and sporting the [[Sonichu medallion]]), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy whom he thought was putting the moves on his gal-pal.

Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.<ref name=mimms1>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms & Lucas Q&A: Initial Post]]</ref> Chris also nearly managed to earn himself a beating from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:

{{quote|Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like he's going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face-down monster..."|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

Likewise, Chris's homophobia occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A [[gay]] regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for obvious reasons, Chris wasn't likely to ever do him any great physical harm).<ref name=homo/> Chris also assumed that two of the shop's regulars were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks — his literal mind took that as proof that they were a couple.<ref name=homo/>

==Chris the [[card games|TCG]] Gamer==
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]
{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris.<ref name=mimms2>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>}}
Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris as a Customer]]</ref> and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' trading card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and proudly hollered "I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!"<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's ''Pokémon'' league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|resume]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. "He wasn't actually a gym leader," says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.<ref name=mimms2/> This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting two weeks, which, according to Lucas, began on 4 April 2008.<ref name=ban/>

To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards in actual games.<ref name=mimms1/> Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|''Universal Fighting System'' card game]], often playing "bimbo" characters such as Cassandra from the ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' series and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]].

==The GAMe PLACe Photograph==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because [[Mimms]] was trying to be covert.]]
In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.

Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of The GAMe PLACe to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris E-mails: November 2007]]</ref> Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative. According to Mimms, Chris complained about the photo and the ED page so loudly and frequently at the store that the management eventually threatened to kick him out if he didn't stop.

Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the Internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris's "investigations" continued on and off for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in-between desperate apologies for the porn he drew of her), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at [[GameStop]] on 8 March.

{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about 'be-4' about this 'Chan'." I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}

Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.

{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that e-mail.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

==Chris gets The Boot==
Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young black kid. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says Mimms.<ref name=mimms1/>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.<ref name=mimms1/>

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the 'Fiddlesticks' out of Mary Lee Walsh." This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

According to the [[CWCipedia]] article for [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder Megan Schroeder], Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his being kicked out of the store would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder</ref> Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|destruction of her dignity]], anger issues, and overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wants Chris to ever return to the store.

==Unbanning Attempts==
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]
Chris has repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial one-month ban. In [[March 2009]], he attempted to apologize in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it.]] This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place. A month later, in [[April 2009]], Chris attempted to sneak into the store, but when a cashier recognized him and caught him, Chris ran.

Almost two years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe Chris would try again to get the ban lifted. Chris's conversations with Jackie reveal that he attempted to go to The GAMe PLACe after church on 11 [[April 2010]]. When one of the cashiers saw Chris and recognized him, he threatened to call the cops. Chris got angry and bolted. The next day, Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban (later noting on YouTube, that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y YouTube comment by Mike.]</ref>) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off,<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw YouTube comment by Chris.]</ref> yelled "JEW!" at him, and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived; whether the police's involvement will continue remains to be seen.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], accompanied by a description soliciting harassment and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris's antisemitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possibly illegal nature of the recording, it's easy to see why it was pulled.

Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,<ref name=ban/> and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was the aforementioned "Wii Incident". Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].

In [[October 2010]], Chris made [[100 2261.MOV|yet another request]] to be readmitted. Wearing an ancient ''Pokémon'' League T-shirt, he apologized for his behavior and said that the ban was his fault, blaming the whole thing on his infamous "[[stress]]". He also claimed to have only "shouted a loud outburst" twice. Mike was unmoved.

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it is clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe are almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] entering [[China]].

==The Charlottesville Incident==
On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris visited The GAMe PLACe. [[6 June 2010|He claimed]] that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, his daughter, and the police. Snyder's version was more succinct:

{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by [[jerkop|the police]]. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his [[car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.}}

The police listened to Chris rant about the trolls for a while and eventually sent him home with a warning. Chris did not tell his parents anything and it would be [[Matthew Noble call|two months]] before they would learn about it.

==Chris's Parents and The GAMe PLACe==
A [[Matthew Noble call|phone conversation]] recorded in early [[August 2010]] reveals many more details about the odd attitude that Bob and Barb Chandler hold towards The GAMe PLACe. During the discussion, they evidence a total ignorance of how Chris behaved at the store and why he was banned. Barb shows signs of still holding a grudge over her visit to the store after Chris's final ban, while Bob suggests that he believes that the trolling of Chris somehow originates from a conspiracy at the store.

{{quote|Mike and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people — kids there that I think were gay — to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob Chandler, on the GAMe PLACe conspiracy.}}

Bob does not explain why Mike, Megan, and the "gay kids" (likely a reference to Eric and Tito<ref>Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&A#Racism and homophobia</ref>) would create this grand conspiracy against Chris, but he goes as far as to accuse them of fraudulently obtaining access to Chris's credit cards and bank accounts. [[Best Buy|Data]] uncovered a month later shows that Chris wasted shit tons of money on PlayStation Network cards and games he won't play in the future, resulting in further debt and an excuse to blame Snyder and the trolls for stealing his credit cards.

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.thegameplace.com/ Official Website]

{{Places}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Game Place}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

Mimms and Lucas Q&A

2011-02-12T17:47:45Z

Shock Waves: fix

The '''Mimms and Lucas Q&A''' was a series of questions and answers on the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] message board with [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] regarding their experience with Chris, initiated by [[CWCki]] admin and PVCC user [[User:Champthom|champthom]].

Mimms and Lucas's answers (Mimms's in pink and Lucas's in green) provide insight into Chris's past, particularly at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and the extent of his involvement with the Pokémon League. Despite Chris's claim of being a gym leader at the Pokémon League, Mimms and Lucas assert that he only filled in once. Furthermore, Chris disliked playing with black children and would frequently lose and have tantrums.

==Initial post==
Champthom contacted Mimms via [[Facebook]] asking three questions:
:# what Chris was like at The GAMe PLACe, and if he knew the grounds of why Chris was really banned,
:# if he could tell us anything about Megan
:# if he tried to play his homemade cards.

The answers were shocking:

{{quoteboxred|...Anywho, heres some fun stuff you may not have know about CWC. The reason he got banned from the game place is in part due to his blatant [[racism]]. Also, because he would frequently blow up when losing to small children, he had scared off some good business, so Mike really wanted him gone. Lets not discount the fact the His parents threatened to take me to court. Also, There were some [[Niggos|black kids]], age 12-15, who would frequent the [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|Yugi-oh]] sessions (actually good kids) who he kind of picked on because he always acted like they wanted to steal from him. No one wants to be discriminated against, so there was a bit of animosity between Chrissy and the group of black kids. His final banning is due largely to the fact that he got in a [[Chris and anger|scream contest]] with one of the kids and of course the "adult" should be responsible, but not Chris. Essentially Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point and this was good enough, because he was tired of having long time patrons harassed by this retard. He was asked to leave and to not come back Mike, so Chris calls his parents. Mike Calls the [[jerkops|cops]]. The result was hilarious. watching his [[Barbara|fossilized mother]] get put in her place by a jerkop was pretty fulfilling.
(sorry if that was long winded)

Other fun stuff... He had about a [[Wall of Originals|20 different custom cards]], but never played any of them. He was very rarely left in charge of the Pokemon league because he had such a short temper and hated dealing with all the little kids' wins and losses, so I real adult needed to be present. [[Megan]] would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid him, especially after the [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|drawings]] of her got leaked. I'd prefer to leave her out of this to be honest, as it was a traumatizing experience for her. She and I are still friends for the record. Chris would rarely ever shake anyones hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer. I received a My little pony for Xmas one year from him, cuz I treated him like a person for the longest time. If you care to look it up, I got Mimbo-boboruto. It had a green pompom 'fro, because I had a green 'fro (no joke). It should also be know that he played the game Universal Fighting System (UFS) wherein you can play as nearly any fighting game character. He always picked a steriotypical bimbo as his character, usually Cassandra and sometimes [[CWC Fighter|Chun-li]].}}

==Follow-up==
After the initial message and popularity on PVCC, four more questions were sent to Mimms:
{{quotebox|
1) Did Chris lose a lot at [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] and/or [[Pokemon]]? I and someone else are curious at how good Chris was at [[TCGs]], like if he won a lot or if he frequently lost to 10 year olds.

2) Chris seems to cite this story about how he went behind the counter at [[the Game Place]] to get something, and they banned him for that. Obviously you cite a different story and I was wondering if there was any merit to Chris's story about going behind the counter that got him banned.

3) To what extent did Chris lead the Pokemon League? Your story about how he was rarely left in charge is particularly interesting, considering Chris says his "greatest contribution to society" was leading the Pokemon League and he equates his experience at The Game Place as the volunteer gym leader as actual work experience (yes, as in the kind he would put on a [[resume]] if he actually applied to a job) and as charitable volunteer work. He said his experience there helped him develop "leadership skills like Optimus Prime" (I shit you not, those are his words).

4) What's this about an interrogation? [he offered to tell me about the interrogation he got when they found out about the infamous blurry picture]}}

{{quoteboxred|1) Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played. he had rediculous themed decks that never worked in pokemon and he never used any trategy at all in [[yugi-oh]]. He only won 1 tournement of yugi-oh durring a regional event when most of our good players were gone. There must have been about 6 people including Chris and myself at the tourney and when he won he was jumping up and down a yelling "I'm the level up king!" Since that was the theme of his deck. Other than that he would lose to small children and rarely made it past the first round in organized events.

2/3) He wasnt actually a gym leader for Pokemon league, but on a few occasions the regular gym leader couldnt be there, he happily volunteered to sub in because he never missed a Friday session of Pokemon anyway. After a few reports of him raising his voice to impatient children it was clear that something had to be done about him. One day when he was taking the place of gym leader, he went to the back room to get the box of prize support and badges and whatnot without permission. Since he is neither an employee or a gym leader, Mike decided to use it as an excuse to ban him for one month. That was his first ban. The other ban story I told was the second and permanent ban.

4) The interrogation came a week after I took the famed blurry picture. Keep in mind that Chris still liked me at this point and that he is very very gullible. I come and sit down like any other friday, start chatting and playing a round of Pokemon with Lucas and some other players and these two old people walk up and ask if they can talk to me. The conversation starts kind of slow talking about Chris disability and how they struggled as parents and seem rather bitter that their son is far from normal. They then ask if I took the dreaded picture. I say yes and then play dumb as far as how it got on the internet. They then threaten to take me to court for misusing his likeness with out his consent. At first I was really shaken by this, but then I realized they were full of shit and couldn't actually do anything of consequence to me. So then I put on the smug bastard face and ask them if they're done and if I can go back to my game. Later, [[Mike]] tell Chris if his parents ever do anything like that again, he'll call the cops (cuz Mike has my back). This is also a big push to Chris down his slippery slope to being banned, probably the biggest one, in fact. anyway, thats the basic gist of the interrogation.}}

==Q&A==
Mimms was asked to join the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], along with Lucas and they were flattered by the invitation.

{{quoteboxgreen|So uh, what's up guys. Name's Lucas. Mimms has been filling me in on the events of his FACEBOOK discovery so since he decided to reveal himself I decided to pop in here and check things out.

I'm better at typing than he is so feel free to ask me anything}}

{{quoteboxred|So, I decided to join this board to answer all of your questions, or at least as many as I can.

I am the Mimms, fire away with any questions you may have.}}

===Chris as a customer===
{{quotebox|Did Chris spend a lot of his money at the game place? As in, enough to make it obvious that he was wasting his [[tugboat]] on cards?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|of course}}

{{quotebox|What did (if anything) Chris do aside from play cards and hit on Megan on a regular basis?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|donged around on his [[PSP of Fail|psp]]}}

{{quotebox|Did you guys only see him on Fridays at the Game Place, or did he come around more often, to like look at comics and such?}}

{{quoteboxred|Pretty much just card playing events, but for a while that was fri-sun for pokemon, yugioh and UFS respectively.}}

{{quotebox|How long was he there on Fridays? Would he hang around later than everyone else to "be cool" and "hang out" with everyone, and stalk Megan?}}

{{quoteboxred|He was never a minute late to pokemon as far as I know, in fact he was usually about 15 minutes early. The only time I can remember him missing a friday session was when he went on a vacation for a week. Megan's brother isnt autistic, but he is kinda dumb. jus' sayin'}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever scare off customers at the Game Place?}}

{{quoteboxred|Yes, mostly small kids because parents didn't feel like their kids were in a safe enough environment with the belligerent man-child around.}}

===Tabletop games===
{{quotebox|What kind of Pokemon deck did he play? I'm guessing grass/electric.

Also, does his greasy skin glisten in the sun?

And finally, do you have any fond memories of your time with him? Somethign that might help humanize him a little?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He played a bunch of decks. Like, he had a huge plastic deck container thing what was also [[Lego]]'d up. Last time I ever played him he was using a pure Psychic deck (I think, match didn't last long enough for me to see much, thank god). He also sung along to [[Britney Spears]] the entire time we were playing. O_o

Fond memories...one time he brought his [[Wii]] in and everyone played [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Brawl|Brawl]] for a while, that was fun I guess.}}

{{quotebox|What exactly does a Pokemon gym leader do? How do they get the position, what responsibilities does it entail, and so on. I played the video games all the time back in the day, but the only CCG I've ever played is Magic. Was the idea of a gym leader something that the Game Place came up with independently, or was it common to lots of card/gaming stores?

Were you two trying to avoid keeping track of the Chris-chan [[saga]], or have you been following it closely all this time?}}

{{quoteboxred|Pokemon gym leaders are usually adults who want to be active with their kids who are into the game. I think they are asked to do it by the store staff, but I do know it is a voluntary. Their duties are fairly simple and include: keeping track of points on a score sheet in order to win promo cards and badges (wins are 2 points, loses are 1), giving out promos and keeping things from getting too chaotic (rarely a problem). To be honest, I'm not 100% sure how common gym leaders were, but I'd guess they're standard in any pokemon league.

Also, Lucas and I have followed this shit strom every step of the way, just curious to see what the hell we would do next.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever end up crying after he had lost a game?}}

{{quoteboxred|yes I made him cry once. It was so awesome!

short story: I one turn killed him in yugioh.

Long story: I was playing an [[Wikipedia:List_of_Yu-Gi-Oh!_cards#Exodia|exodia deck]]. Get all 5 pieces, win the game. I have an infinite loop combo in my deck that allows me to draw the whole deck which includes exodia for a game win. 2 Manticore of Darkness and card of safe return. When manticore goes to the grave you can bring it back by ditching a card of the same type, like another manticore. Card of safe return says, whenever you special summon from the grave, draw a card. Really easy combo, great for making autistic people cry. good times.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris have any interest in RPG's or Table Top games like [[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Dragons|Dungeons and Dragons]] or [[Wikipedia:Call of Cthulhu (role-playing game)|Call of Cthullu]] or was it pretty much limited to Yugioh and pokemon?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Game Place didn't have any organized D and D so I wouldn't know if he was ever into it.}}

{{quoteboxred|someone mentioned a Virgin rage card in the first Mimms Board: Yeh, that totally exists among many others.}}

===Video games===
{{quotebox|Have either of you played him in [[Guitar Hero]]? If so did he win?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|
Nope, never have. Although one time I had my [[HEXBox|360]] and rockband shit with me because all the bros were gonna chill afterwards, and he huddled up to us to inquire about it. Then he started huffing and puffing and raging because [[Hex Bawx|HEXBOX]]}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris used to rant on and on about his hatred of Xbox? Did he ever explain why he hated it so much? Did anyone ever tell him to shut the fuck up about it?}}

{{quoteboxred|It's like /v/ but IRL}}

{{quotebox|how was he when he brought his Wii over and played Brawl?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He wasn't too great at the game. He also only played [[Sonic]], Link, and Pokemon Trainer.}}

===Chris's behavior===
{{quotebox|Since he came in an [[Chris and cosplaying|Ash Ketchum]] getup, did he also act the part as well? You know like being in character?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|This question reminds me that at one point he had one of those fucking Yu Gi Oh arm things.

To answer your question, I don't recall him acting in character. The Ash getup was years ago though.}}

{{quotebox|Did you guys ever see Chris outside of the Game Place, like [[McDonalds]], movie theatre [[Target]], the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]], [[church]], anywhere?
-any stories of note, if you answer yes?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I think the only time I've encountered Chris outside of the Game Place was at the Brawl release tourney and you guys already know about the funny story from that event. He was generally being weird and I remember some of the other guys at the event were kind of like "Jeez what's up with that guy"

I'm pretty sure he also yelled at someone for bumping into him or something.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever bring his legendary "[[attraction sign]]" and what are your personal opinions on how pathetic it is?

2. How bad did he smell?

3. Did he always wear the same shirt every week? What was his [[Chris and fashion|clothing style]]?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|1. Nope. Pretty fucking pathetic. I've known a couple other autistic kids really into [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (Seriously what the hell is it with Sonic and [[Autism]]) and none of them were even close to pulling something as retarded as that. I can't even comprehend it really.

2. I didn't really smell anything when I was around him.

3. Not the SAME SHIRT but his wardrobe pretty much consists of similar shitty goodwill shirts. As you can see in the picture he switched to that purple/green one. Usually he had red. Also, for a while after the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Parappa contest]] he wore a [[PaRappa the Rapper|Parappa]] skullcap that he won for a few weeks.}}

{{quoteboxred|1. I've never seen it, but it is pathetic as shit. Which reminds me of another something else he did. Appearently during his mall stalking days he had a paper heart on a strong that he would throw in the direction of women he fancied. It was rather disturbing and annoyed a lot of patrons, so he is also banned from the local mall. (he also stalked some chick who worked there, which was the final straw).

2.I didnt think it was anything out of the ordinary to be honest. Although I wanted to know either...

3. A long time ago, when he was less fat, he had an Ash Ketchem get up that he wore every week. Hat, gloves, vest, pokeballs, you name it. More recently he just wears the same few stripy shrits and the Hardees jacket.}}

{{quotebox|-Did Christian ever [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soil himself]] in your store? If so, how did he react?

-How did the kids react to him? Were they scared, or did they antagonize him further for fun? Were there any particularly funny moments like this?}}

{{quoteboxred|I really dont think he shat himself and the Until its most recent move, The Game Place hasnt had a public bathroom.}}{{quoteboxred|1. I have no idea, I hope he never did, and if he did I am glad i never knew about it.
2. From what I saw most of the age groups stuck together unless there was a BATTLE going on. Most of the time Chris kept to himself and his [[PSP]] or whatever unless he got involved in a match. Whenever an outburst happened things got quiet and everyone stared for a moment or so but then they all went back to whatever they were doing (used to it I guess) But none of the kids ever fucked with him so I guess they were all afraid of him

Also, most of the time parents just drop their kids off and fuck off somewhere. Or they would be off in a corner on a laptop or something but there hadn't been many outbursts in a while and I never saw a parent telling him off or anything.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever befriend any of the little kids in a more then "Friendly" way?}}

{{quoteboxred|he's not a [[pedofork|pedophile]], but if you wanna accuse him of it, go for it. I'm sure someone will believe you.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris often make lewd inappropriate comments to or about any other female customers?}}

{{quoteboxred|Not at the game place.}}

{{quotebox|Does he walk or does he waddle?}}

{{quoteboxred|kind of a waddle, mostly just an odd gait.}}

{{quotebox|Did you ever get to hear his infamous [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck voice]]?}}

{{quoteboxred|sadly yes, its awful and doesnt impress anyone.}}

{{quotebox|How often did he bring up his [[virgin]]ity?}}

{{quoteboxred|not often at all at the store. he's really got into the self loathing on [[Youtube]], but didnt bring it up much at the game place.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever brag about [[Sonichu]] as if it were his best achievement or something worth telling others about? You know like to the kids and other patrons? If yes, did he also promise there would be Sonichu official cards one day or something stupid like that?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Well like I said earlier he printed out and put together a copy of the [[Sonichu 0|zero issue]] and ALWAYS had it on him. I mean he had it for years. YEARRRSSSSS. I remember when I first started playing back in middle school, and I never actually was curious enough to read it until sometime during high school. He also had business cards and whatnot that he would force on people. ALSO, just about everything he owned was covered in Sonichu crap. His PSP has a sonichu shell, you've all seen his [[Gitar of Fail|GH guitar]], etc etc.

We actually don't live in his area, [[Ruckersville]]. Thank [[god]].}}

{{quotebox|Wait, what? He had a paper heart he would throw at women?!}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He had a heart on a string that he would treat as a fishing pole of sorts. He'd toss it at a girl and REEL EM IN}}

===Chris and Megan===
{{quotebox|Did you ever witness him pulling any really creepy shit with Megan at the Game Place?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Ever more like every day.

He was constantly putting his arm around her and shit and it got to the point where she would take refuge in the midst of our group of [[JERKS|bros]].}}

{{quotebox|How does Megan feel about Chris after all this time? She's considered to be the root of a lot of Chris' current psychosis, so information on their relationship is really useful. Also, is she at all interested in being involved with Chris' current internet drama, or is she too scared by Chris' many attempts at [[rape]]?

Speaking of, how far did Chris go? We know from Megan's emails there was a lot of inappropriate touching.}}

{{quoteboxred|I haven't talked to Megan terribly recently (I don't really bother going to Pokemon when Mimms isn't around, and he's fucked off to out of town college) but the vast majority of our recent AIM conversations have been her asking me about what wacky shenanigans Chris had gotten himself into. Like has been established in those e-mails, she's cut off all ties to him and she finds most of the ED stuff kinda funny I guess. I think last time we talked was the subject of his [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|sex toy orders]] and she was pretty much LOL EW GROSS. Nothing terribly interesting.}}

{{quotebox|What was he like with Megan?}}

{{quoteboxred|For a long while, they were actually good friends. They would leave the main Pokemoning area to go discuss [[Sailor Moon]] and Nazis (No joke, Megan is into some odd stuff. Probably just a GI Joe offshoot.) But As time went on he got more annoying and then hideously awkward at which point she starting hanging with me and Lucas and avoided Chris altogether. It was quite a reversal, but a well deserved one. I dont think chirs has much [[Monthly tugboat|money]] of of his own for spending on other people, but I could be wrong.}}

{{quoteboxred|I helped Megan deal with Chris, so we decide that she just ought to forget about him and all the bullshit that happened, so we dont talk about him ever anymore.

He was always too uncomfortably close to Megan, but I dont think he ever forced him self on her to get a kiss or anything more than that, at least not in public. They were friends, thats all, but apparently he views any friendly relationship with a female as something more.

Megan is a very interesting person. Very shy and a social outcast to say the least, I guess she and chris have that in common. But whatever was between them is now 100% gone and she basically refuses to acknowledge his existance.}}

===Racism and homophobia===
{{quotebox|I'm also interested in Megan and/or anything else that hasn't been discussed to death. Especially discrimination. We all know Chris hates DEM [[HOMOS]].}}

{{quoteboxred|Usually he was pretty hostile to the [[Niggos|black kids]] at yugi-oh. It was total BS since they're all good kids. Sure we're had a few kids who come in once steam a card and never come back, but the regulars are all cool guys. He would always try to hide his stuff when they were near and never wanted to play a friendly game with them. I'm sure he used a few racial slurs, [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|never nigger or anything]], but it was obvious he was a huge racist. [story] I remember one time he and this [[Jerkhief|huge black guy]] named TJ were arguing about something that Chris was wrong about (since TJ is one of the best players in town) and as it got more heated, they started yelling about how Chris would never get laid. Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like hes going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face down monster..."

Moral of the story: Chris a bitch and he's awful at all card games. Also, he used to never curse.}}

{{quoteboxred|I Rage so hard whenever he opens his mouth about something thats anti-gay. Dont get me wrong, I'm not a fan gayness, I just think as people, they have a right to live and do as they please. They dont need some retarded fuck wad trying to make it more difficult to buy deodorant..... Which reminds me of a story.

So, one night at UFS, everyone is just sitting around playing cards and out of nowhere, Megan says "I hate [[Wikipedia:List of Tekken characters#Yoshimitsu|Yoshimistu]]. He such a retard and a fag." Then John, the tourny organizer, says, "I would thank you to never say that again..." Chris goes "Why? Are you an F.A.G.?" John lets out a sigh and facepalms. Chris then says, "Cuz, you know, Tito's a Homo." (Tito is the owner's son who works there) Tito cant find the words to rebut with and just stands up and walks away thinking to himself how Chris could possibly think he's a homo. (later, we find out that one day Mike was joking around with Tito and they exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, and from that tiny exchange, Chris extrapolated that they were gay.)}}

{{quotebox|Apparently there was a gay male who was friends with Megan at the Game Place that Chris yelled at; the poor guy was worried Chris [[Death threats|was gonna kill him]]. Were you there for that? Do you know what happened?}}

{{quoteboxred|Kinda. His name is Eric, and for the record he is also a furry. Eric kind of picked on Chris and sort of took his spot as substitute gym leader 1 or 2 times. That and the fact that he's gay are reason enough for Chris to act malicious toward him, although I doubt he was in any real danger.}}

===Trolling Chris at The GAMe PLACe===
Re. the infamous photograph:
{{quoteboxred|While I did take the famed picture, it was Lucas who posted it to [[4chan]] to share it with the world, so in actuality, he probably deserves most of the credit. I just happened to spend more with Chirs (lucky me).}}

{{quotebox|How did you take the photo? Camera phone? Is it blurry because you were shitting yourself that he'd see a flash or a camera and go batshit at you?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Digital Camera. I took a couple of pictures with my phone as well that are from further away but a lot less blurry. Dunno why that one is so blurry, I guess Mimms was trying to be quick and inconspicuous.}}

{{quotebox|[[Chris_E-mails_2008#March|Was it truly something you didn't know about be 4 about this Chan?]]}}

{{quoteboxred|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that email.}}

{{quotebox|What was [[Bob Chandler]] like when they visited your shop? I'd imagine he didn't say too much during the incident but [[Barbara Chandler|Babs]] was being a real hardball at that time.}}

{{quoteboxred|Thats exactly right actually. He barely said anything, mostly tried to look intimidating I think, which he kind of pulled off. I'd hate to have his surly ass as a grandparent.}}

{{quoteboxred|I've never met anyone else IRL who made his life hell other than Lucas and Mike.}}

{{quoteboxred|I dont smoke, but Lucas does and we only drink on the occasional weekend.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|What do I think of the people following Chris? Hmmm, when I first saw the thread on /v/ I was just like HOLY SHIT. I never imagined it would explode the way it has. It's kind of a surreal feeling sometimes. Other times it's funny as shit. It's also really fascinating, especially how deep some people have investigated into his psyche.

I've never seen a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curseyehameha]]

From what I saw your assumption is pretty much right about how Megan interacted to Chris. She was nice to him and of course Chris is Chris so he construed it as something more. Mimms could probably answer the question better since he goes further back with them.}}

===Chris's ban from the store===
{{quotebox|Chris has being trying to be allowed back into the game place (by posting videos on youtube) does the store owner know or care for that matter?
Also did Chris always bring up he was a virgin also? Or his [[love quest]]...

Last one, can he or has ever being a fight? Sounds like he gets too scared.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Yes, [[Michael Snyder|the manager]] is aware of Chris wanting to be let back in. In fact, Chris sent a letter to him a while before he made [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|the youtube video]]. He told us about it and we pretty much just laughed about it.

I can't recall Chris ever bringing up his [[Love Quest|LOVE QUEST]]. I'm sure he has at some point though so when Mimms comes back he might have a different answer.

Yeah he's never been in a fight as far as I know. At least not in the store or something like that. He's yelled at kids plenty of times though if that counts. I remember one time he yelled at some poor kid for taking a long time to make a move during a Pokemon game. He gets [[stress|really impatient]] during games and if you make a mistake or do something in the "wrong order" he gets upset.}}

{{quotebox|Would you know around when Chris started going to the Game Place? Or when you first saw him there?

And do you know round about when that first, one month, ban took place?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I searched around some chatlogs and I think the first ban (Which was actually two weeks, not a month) Was April 4th last year.

As far as when Chris first started, we're talking years ago. I'm two years out of high school, and Mimms started going around the time I was in 4th grade (Long before I lived in VA). He said He thinks Chris started sometime after that. Probably a few months? A "season" of pokeymans league usually lasts a few months and Chris probably started around the 2nd season.

I first started playing around middle school some time. Maybe 7th grade. That's when I first saw Chris in his Ash getup. I remember being pretty weirded out by him but nothing terribly specific.

I just remembered a story but it's not terribly interesting. One time (this is back in the middle school era) I was chillin with Mimms and another bro during Pokemon (before I joined). I was just hanging out watching them play, and Chris asked me if I wanted a match. I told him I didn't have a deck or anything, but I knew how to play, and since I noticed his huge [[lego]] box of decks so I said if he let me use one of his decks I'd play with him. He pretty much snapped at me with a [video has been since deleted]}}

{{quotebox|Was Chris aware he wasn't welcome at the Game Place because of the way he acts?}}

{{quoteboxred|Probably, only he doesnt see what wrong with it. Mike and I have talked about the [[reality]] that his parents have helped him fabricate. he thinks he can do anything and get away with it because he's different. The Idea of being able to do anything comes from the constant encouragement you have to give special needs kids (I know, I've helped out with a little league baseball team with disabilities.) and He's just taken it to a higher level.}}

{{quotebox|Can you shed more details between the confrontation between the Chandlers and the [[jerkops|cops]] in the shop?}}

{{quoteboxred|Basically, Mike asked him to leave and told him he couldnt come back and rather than just leaving he went outside and called his parents. Mike had already threatened to call the cops, so he did. Cops show up, make Chris and family look like idiots because they cant do anything. Its a private store and mike can ban who he wants. I didnt actually hear what was said, but I watched through a window, hence my story of tantruming Babs getting put in here place by glare from a cop.

On a side note, Mike doesnt own the game place, he's just the manager. The owner is a dick whose name escapes me cuz he's never there.}}

{{quotebox|Would Chris ever be let back into Game Place? Say, if someone else began running the store? Or if he were to clean up his act a little? (not likely, but yeah).}}

{{quoteboxgreen|No}}

{{quotebox|Did you actually see the video of his appology/beging to come back to the gameplace, like he assumes you did? Thoughts?}}

{{quoteboxred|yes I did. I actually commented on it. basically he has no shot at every getting back in, partially because he's not actually sorry but mostly because he'll scare off more customers and no one likes him anyway.}}

===Chris's history and personality===
{{quotebox|You wouldn't happen to know anything about Chris' brief employment at [[Wendy's|wendys]], would you?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I had no idea Chris had a job, and it's actually pretty surprising to me, goddamn.}}

{{quotebox|All of us know Chris is a close weeaboo, but did he ever bring up [[anime]]s or anything like that while you were working there?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I remember one time at a [[Wikipedia:Universal Fighting System|UFS]] gathering (For anyone who doesn't know UFS is a game that features characters from [[Soul Calibur]], Street Fighter, and Darkstalkers), Chris started trying to impress Megan by talking about how he had downloaded the [[Wikipedia:Darkstalkers|Darkstalkers]] anime and put it on his PSP. She just kind of brushed him off.}}

{{quoteboxred|Yeh, back before things where hideously awkward between him and Megan, they talked about [[Sailor Moon]] a lot. Like daily, a lot. Other than that, he had some [[transformers]] he would bring in from time to time (if that counts). He would give them annoying voice and make them shoot at things until the staff asked that he not bring them anymore.

Also, there are no good kid V Chris stories I can think of that arent just nods to his screaming and short temper.}}

{{quotebox|Quick question, Chris blames ED for his current situation, and in his early birthday video he seems sort of normal and not overweight, depending on how long he went to the game place, when did he really lose it and when did he become a fat fuck. It was all pre-ED right? and did Chris himself ever mention the ED page?}}

{{quoteboxred|Chris has always been a fat fuck and I very much doubt he'll ever lose his virginity without paying for it morally and monetarily.

Chris have never gotten violent with anyone, because he knows he cant win and he is sure that a higher authority ([[jerkops|cops]]/ [[law|court]]) will punish you if you lay a hand on him.

Chris had a deck that used his fake cards, but never played it, from what I saw. He did hand out business cards with a link to his website, but nothing other than that. Although a part of me kinda wants a Sonichu Promo card...}}

{{quotebox|Being acquaintances with Christian before his life got hijacked by the [[internet]], do you personally feel he's deserved the [[troll]]ing he's gotten the past year?}}

{{quoteboxred|Not nessesarily, but if he was smart enough to stop giving trolls amo against him, then I might actually pity him. He's really just asking for more when he makes so many stupid comments on youtube.}}

{{quotebox|He seemed to be a weird but mostly quiet guy in his Game Place years. Why do you think he's become the preening idiot we all see online?}}

{{quoteboxred|Complete lack of social interaction with humans other than his fossilized parents.}}

{{quotebox|Just how retarded is Chris? We all know he's high functioning [[autistic]], etc., but he has his own driver's license. How functional was he socially and mentally at the game place?}}

{{quoteboxred|I'd say he worked about the same level as a 10 year old, but with practice of some things maybe as much as a standard teenager, but I doubt he'll ever think or act like an adult.}}

{{quotebox|Did you ever notice if Chris acted nicer towards the women that he played?}}

{{quoteboxred|What women? Moms dont play. Kids arent women. and that leaves Megan, who we all know he was a little too friendly with.}}

{{quotebox|Which Chris vid is your personal favorite?}}

{{quoteboxred|[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|The one]] where he's laying on he bed or couch and takes a long sigh and says the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|man in the pickle suit]] got him again. Mostly because I almost felt bad for him right there, but then realized it was still really funny.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Hmmm...my favorite Chris Chan video would have to be the [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding out for a Hero music video]]. As an aspiring film-maker, the camera and editing techniques Chris used were quite inspirational.}}

{{quotebox|Was there ever an instance where you found him to be an enjoyable person to be around by merits of his own character as opposed to finding entertainment in his antics?

Was there even any sort of time where you felt like Chris had redeemed all of the faults that you talk about, even if it the "joy" associated with it was fleeting?

Does he any any good qualities? That's my thing -- I've never seen someone so absolutely devoid of redeeming characteristics.}}

{{quoteboxred|is that supposed to be a joke or something

But seriously, his is a company that I have never legitimately enjoyed.}}

{{quoteboxred|Well like i said earlier one time he brought in his Wii and people played Brawl. That was pretty cool I guess. He was kinda weird about the controllers but I don't recall him not letting someone play. He had to be in all of the matches of course.

He was really finicky about the handling of them and which controller was what player. He had to do all the setting up himself.}}

{{quotebox|Was there ever ANY, even in the least bit, of a redeeming quality in Chris?}}

{{quoteboxred|Not really. Other than trying to be nice some times, he was mostly a self righteous jerk. example: There was a Parapa the rapper contest he entered (and complained about on youtube) for which he handed about flyers to people so they could vote for him. No one did of course. He also read off everything on the flyers before handing them to people, like they couldnt read or something, that always annoyed me. But no, he's basically a waste of my oxygen and [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]].}}

[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

End of Evangelion

2011-02-05T17:09:07Z

Shock Waves: Redirected page to Anime#End of Evangelion

#REDIRECT [[Anime#End of Evangelion]]

Sonichu 10

2011-02-05T01:40:36Z

Shock Waves: /* Fall of 4-cent_garbage.com */ err

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #10
| cover = [[Image:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|150px]]
| coverdate = 15 September [[2008]]
| finishedcomic = 25 [[February 2010]] ([[Book10Replacement|revised 30 October 2010]])
| pagecount = 97
| episodes = 21
| previous = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]
| next = [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]]
}}
'''''Sonichu'' #10''' is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. The final pages were scheduled to be uploaded on 24 [[February 2010]] ([[Christian Love Day|Chris's birthday]]), though he missed it by a few hours.

==Background==
===October 2008 Preview===
[[Image:Sonichu 10 release graph.png|thumb|right|Sonichu #10 release activity.]]
Throughout the early fall of [[2008]], the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls, posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the [[Medallion]].

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|9 October 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special ''Sonichu'' comic meant to be an excerpt from ''Sonichu'' #10. This was uploaded circa 14 October [[2008]]. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the medallion's safety and [[Blanca]]'s loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 [[January 2009]]. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the [[Time Void]] since the end of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], and not scheduled to return until after #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as the cover of #10.

===Conflict with Asperpedia===
During the production of ''Sonichu'' #10, Chris was also deeply embroiled in a feud with the forces behind the [[Asperpedia]]. More specifically, [[Evan]] was pressuring Chris to kill or otherwise remove [[Simonla Rosechu]] from the comics, since she was based on Evan's original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, [[Simonchu]] without his approval. Chris refused and actually retconned Simonla's entry on the [[CWCipedia]] to state that Simonla was his own original creation, and he had not based her on Simonchu. Shortly after these changes were made, [[9 February 2010|the CWCipedia went offline]], replaced by a notice from Evan's lawyers.

In order to recover the [[CWCipedia]], Chris posted a two-page spread in which Chris apologizes for his trespasses against the Asperpedia team, and Simonla is killed by an exploding toilet. When he arrived at Simonla's death in the actual comic, however, he spread the events of Simonla's death over many pages, and introduced a new character: [[Sandy Rosechu]], her daughter with [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]]. Furthermore, the Asperpedia team are depicted as Simonla's murderers, and after a trial in a kangaroo court, are violently executed, with Sandy and Wild teaming up to maim and then murder Evan. Team Asperpedia was understandably upset with this development, and have since coerced Chris into the third of his seemingly endless rewrites of the end of ''Sonichu'' #10.

===Chris's Promise to Remove Himself From the Series===
As early as [[Sonichu Game Talk|28 August 2008]], Chris had acknowledged that the ''Sonichu'' series had become too focused on Chris rather than Sonichu and the others. He promised that once he returned from the [[Time Void]] that he would step down as Mayor of CWCville and appoint his sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] to take his place. Chris seemed earnest about this, and he even mentioned his plan in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto_Saga#Chris_Will_Be_There..._Someday|Shigeru Miyamoto]] in January 2009. At the end of [[Sonichu 8|#8]], Chris teased "Next Book I get out of he Time Void", leading [[fans]] to assume he was going to step down as mayor in #9. Instead, Chris's escape from the Time Void was tacked onto the very end of the story, so he deferred his promise of pulling himself out of the books to Issue #10, where he could settle things with his remaining enemies.

And yet, after nearly several dozen pages of Chris slaughtering his foes, when the time came for him to address the people of CWCville, he announced that he would '''continue''' to be the Mayor, while Crystal would merely serve in an advisory role. Whether Chris plans to actually live up to his promise of staying out of the comics remains to be seen. [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]] started out Chris-free, but it was abandoned well before the conclusion of #10, which ends with Chris murdering someone with his super powers, then declaring his birthday to be a national holiday.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==
{{Resources
| title = Christian Chandler in Director Amenities
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10 ''Episode 21''
| videobook =Sonichu_10_Official_Videobook#Episode_21{{!}}''Episode 21''
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic11P1.htm ''Episode 21''}}
===Curing Da Homos===
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 9|the last issue]]. However, in this version Chris adds more dialogue to the scene. Magi-Chan tells Chris how much everyone missed him during the nine months or so he was missing, and Chris announces his intentions to revenge himself on his various enemies. He also tells Wild and Magi-Chan that he briefly wound up in the year 2015, where he encountered [[Lovely Weather]] while participating in a medical study to cure homosexuality. In 2015, Weather and Chris are married, so he took him home, believing the Chris of 2008 to be her husband. Having [[Kacey Call|tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self]], he then [[rape|fucked his future wife]] while his future self was at work.

By June of 2015, scientists have almost discovered the cure for [[homos|homosexuality]], but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals six years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. Chris is then vaccinated with the formula and is satisfied with the results. He grabs an additional two of the "cure" syringes, planning to use one to turn [[Reldnahc]] back into Naitsirhc, whose one completely random true love, [[Kel]], is worried sick about. The fate of the other syringe is never seen. He then entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse, restoring his virginity!).

But before sending him on his way, Chris uses Magi-Chan's telepathy to contact his allies to coordinate the rest of his master plan. He calls out to [[Allison Amber]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his [[PS3]], ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' and his plastic instruments and send him to the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building in Clarksville, Tennessee; he then tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him in Clarksville by 2:30; and finally, he tells [[Blake]], [[Punchy]], and Wild to meet him and Sonichu in Clarksville so they can perform in his [[Chris and reality|imaginary band]]. Magi-Chan departs for the future, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], sort of.

===Rage Against the Garbage 2: Electric Boogaloo===
[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|left|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]
Before heading to Clarksville, Chris makes a stop at the Sonichu Site Filing Facility, a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear. Much like the 4-cent Garbage Building, this appears to be a brick-and-mortar avatar for [[Sonichu.net]]. It's even "hosted" by Tripod. He enters to find his stuff safe and sound, until the [[Devil Trolls]] emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris defeats them with ease, then starts talking about video games and the ESRB rating system for no reason. With his precious [[shit|content]] safe, Chris uses his powers to teleport all of it into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building, erects a barrier around the building '''and fucking blows it up!''' [[Chris and remorse|Chris then claims]] that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

With that task completed, Chris contacts a [[Gal-pal]] for help setting up what would become [[CWCipedia]]. Next, he uses his foreknowledge of Lovely Weather to find her in a bookstore and set up their first date. After that, he contacts the CWCville Board of Directors, a previously unseen group who may play some role in the governance of the city. Once he informs them of his plan to commit mass murder in another state, he resumes his journey to Clarksville to settle the score with 4-cent Garbage.

===Operation: Grand Theft Medal===
''Note: Pages 13 - 20 of Sonichu #10 were drawn in October 2008 as a "preview", long before the rest of this issue was completed.''

As [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] monitors him on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[HEXBox]].

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for [[Nintendo|Wii]] or Xbox360, as if these even existed.

Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]. Convinced these items will bring him victory, Chris waits patiently in front of the door, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place. Shouldn't Sonichu have beaten him there? He didn't have nearly as much dumb shit to do.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris puts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions). Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage.com building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl '''"Jimmy!!"''' Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

''This concludes the "preview" segment of the comic.''

=== Comic Chris banishes his sexual insecurity===
While waiting for the others, Chris meditates on a bench, unaware that Reldnahc Ha-Taque is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. At the last second, Chris senses the attack and blocks it. Chris declares his intention to defeat his dark counterpart once and for all, while Naitsirhc insists that he will Chris evil and [[homo|gay]]. The two of them battle it out in their sonichu forms until they hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..." He then rises up and stabs Reldnahc with the syringe, not in the heart, but straight in his [[Black Sonichu]] [[Medallion]]. The medallion shatters, and as Reldnahc transforms back into the totally straight Naitsirhc Giovanni, Chris says the completely non-homoerotic phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"'''

Chris teleports the unconscious Naitsirhc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, and he laments that he never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]] in his Reldnahc persona, but at least the evil homo is gone. Moments later, Son-Chu and [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|The Hedgehog Boys]] arrive. As they set up their ''Guitar Hero'' gear, Sonichu notices the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap in Chris's car. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, he snaps his fingers, turning into his real life self (that is, various photos of Chris used in place of drawings). Whatever effect this was supposed to have is undermined by the fact that Chris is wearing a different shirt in real life than he was in the comic. So he stops to explain that the correct shirt was in the laundry. Chris commands Son-Chu to transform into a soundstage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] to perform. That's right, they plan to defeat the trolls with the power... of ROCK.

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

===Fall of 4-cent_garbage.com===
Chris begins to play what the comic calls [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a set of badly written lyrics set to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent. Unlike the original song, which was about fucking, Chris's version complains about an eleven year old episode of a children's TV show. As Chris plays the instrumental part of the song, the 4-cent garbage Building begins to shake. Inside, Beel, [[Clyde Cash]], and [[Jack Thaddeus]] warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't withstand guitar licks of this magnitude, and they must escape before the whole place comes down around them. Jason agrees, but chooses to save only himself and [[Kathleen]]. As he readies for departure, he explains that he is STRAIGHT, and has decided to retire from trolling to settle down with Kathleen in a normal life. Beel also decided to save himself, leaving Clyde and Jack to die. With no way out, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true heroes as they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as the building collapses around them.

Outside, Chris and his band continue their relentless barrage of rock until the entire building is reduced to a pile of rubble. The narration then reports on the aftermath with simply baffling and incorrect death toll estimates of the employees. Chris has the gall to say that he and "the rest of us heroes" cleaned up the rubble and called ambulances to save the very people he attacked. Chris sheds a tear over the senseless destruction he himself had perpetrated minutes earlier. He then quickly changes the subject by comparing the dead trolls to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''.

===Christian Love Day===
[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]
At that moment, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|being Big Brother]]. He reports to Chris that testing on the Homo Vaccine in 2015 is a success and that he has delivered it to 2008, where it will be dispensed into the world's drinking water. Magi-Chan then predicts that by February 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be declared a holiday named [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]], in honor of the man whose blood and time travel powers made it all possible. Magi-Chan also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female, and she will fall in love with Magi-Chan.

Out of nowhere, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a fan of the comic series. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] in disguise, commenting on how easy it was to troll him. Yes, Chris did just depict himself making out with someone who has a penis, why do you ask?

Chris then pauses the story to make yet another rambling non-apology to his homosexual fanbase. Much like Sonichu's tantrum in [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Chris starts out with a very diplomatic tone, but then grows more defensive and confrontational, blaming the offensive nature of his comics on the readers' refusal to accept him and his characters as heterosexual. Chris begs his readers not to abandon him, but in spite of his apology, he made no effort to remove or redraw the content for which he was apologizing.

===Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan===
With gay people finally dealt with, Chris and Sonichu use the seven Sonichu Balls to transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, they communicate telepathically, and Chris orders Sonichu to [[RuleCWC]] while he heads back to CWCville. There, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. In RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, and she immediately showers Darkbind with gratitude for... Well, actually, he didn't do jack shit, but Sonichu's already married, so there you go.

===Mission in Minnesota===
[[Image:XboxCameForCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Putting a whole new meaning on the word "X'''box'''".]][[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|right|Chris could have picked ''Mass Effect 2'' when lusting after a dating game. Instead, he consciously chose ''this.'' Not entirely unforeseen!]]
Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan rendevous over the home of [[Alec Benson Leary]]. After breaking in, Chris [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|inserts his finger]] into a USB port on Alec's computer (a HEXbox Pavillion), then concentrates and rips off ''[[Shadow the Hedgehog]]'' by placing himself inside the computer. Chris then deletes all files within the [[Asperpedia]] website, bans Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, and deletes their accounts for good measure. He then steals a "better dating simulator" (likely [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"]) with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though XBox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator. Just in case he hadn't done enough damage, Chris blows up the computer as well.

While Chris was doing this, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the [[Chris and art|bad art]] from the Asperchu series. As he investigates the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu discovers Asperchu outside in the yard, along with Alec's version of Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo. When they see Ultra Sonichu, Alec's Hedgehog Pokemon treat him like a god, and beg forgiveness from Chris for the awful things Alec has made them do in his comics. They tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's, forced them to become gay, and compelled them to drop their real names as they impersonated their counterparts in CWCville. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure their Asperger's and give them new clothes. Asperchu himself is dramatically altered, becoming a [[homos|muscle-bound]] Sonichu known as [[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch]]. In return for his help, Sonichu asks them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free.

When Chris comes outside to meet the others, they literally [[Chris and his ego|bows down before him]] and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God, [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|but he appreciates the gesture]]. Together, they all defeat Metal Asperchu, then [[death threats|physically assault]] Alec Benson Leary off-panel. Alec apparently had a group of Rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.

Chris pauses the story once again to address the audience. This time, he denounces "Asperchu" and its depiction of the cast of "Sonichu". Impatiently, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story. Even ''he'' is fed up with the constant interruptions.

===Return to CWCville===
Back in the Mayor's Office, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, the mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. [[Simonla]] specifically denounces [[Evan]], who retconned her as a female clone of [[Simonchu]] in his own comic. [[Allison Amber]] speaks poorly of Moon-Pals, but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest CWCville, and possibly the world, fall into total chaos and anarchy. For some reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.

Ultra Sonichu and the four [[Basement Rosechus]] arrive in one of CWCville's many [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|soup hotel]]s. Sonichu rambles on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated Rosechus just stare on despondently. After he drops them off, he runs into [[Inos]], a very high [[niggo]], obviously another satisfied customer of [[Yawning Squirtle]]. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. He has Magi-Chan summon [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|some cops]] to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for [[the Moon]].

With all that nonsense out of the way, Ultra Sonichu flies to the flagpole of a tall building, where he expends the last of his Ultra Sonichu power to free all [[Jerkops]] from [[Slaweel Ryam]]'s mind control. Collosal Chan confronts her in the [[PVCC]], now deserted since all of the Jerkops gone back to their old lives. Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast, how she tried to cause others the same misfortune. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to release Graduon. Chris takes the wand and smashes it onto the floor. Chris then complains about how he's never had any luck with trying to find someone himself and how he cursed the male population for it. He creates [[Things Chris has ripped off|electric versions of Kratos's blades]] before declaring that he will defeat Slaweel and never forgive her. The two start fighting and Chris naturally defeats her with ease. Because Chris is so paranoid about people getting the "wrong" impression about him, he clarifies that Mary is only paralyzed, and not outright killed.

===Christian Lies, Simonla Dies===
[[File:TEVDoesHisThingp.jpg|thumb|How it went down.]]
Following Mary's defeat, Chris holds a public assembly to update the city on recent developments. He announces Walsh's arrest and imprisonment, the emancipation of all Jerkops, and the legalization of homosexuality in CWCville. Gay marriage remains illegal, but seeing as how homosexuality is supposed to be eradicated a few months later, it doesn't seem to matter. Chris appoints his twin sister Crystal as a "social relations" assistant, and that he will continue to hold the office of mayor indefinitely. Chris also promises to make fewer appearances in future Sonichu comics.

During his speech, [[Simonla]] goes to the bathroom, leaving [[Wild]] to tend to their egg. At the same time, Magi-Chan notices [[Evan]] in the rafters of the Mall, trying to cut down a massive TV screen hanging over the audience. He quickly paralyzes Evan, then spots [[Simonchu]] skulking behind a potted plant in a black cloak. Magi-Chan accuses him of trying to murder his own sister (Simonla, according to Chris). But they are just a diversion, as a third conspirator, Alec Benson Leary, has finished planing a Toilet Exploding Voltorb in the women's restroom, which he detonates once Simonla sits down to piss.

Wild accompanies Simonla to the hospital, and she gives him her "lucky shark's tooth" (aka the drill pendant Chris stole from Evan's Simonchu design, which itself was taken from Simon the driller from ''Gurren Lagann'') in case she doesn't make it. Wild sits on their egg in the waiting room, until at last [[Bill the Scientist]] informs him that she died in surgery. Wild swears revenge, but Magi-Chan reminds him that the killers are already in custody. At that moment, Wild's egg hatches. Wild names his daughter [[Sandy]] and Magi-Chan, [[Autism|insensitive fuck that he is]], tells her point blank Evan killed her mother.

Wild assumes the burden of a single father, and within a week, Sandy evolves into a Rosechu, who just so happens to look almost exactly like Simonla.

===Trial of the Asperpedia Four===
[[File:FreeAsperpedia4.jpg|thumb|left|Public reaction to Chris's abortion of justice]]
Time then jumps ahead to the trial of ''CWCVille v. Alec, Sean, Evan and Mao.'' Presided by Judge Slack Lewis (based on comedian Lewis Black), he calls for prosecuting attorney [[Harvey Birdman|Marvey]] [[Pokemon|Blaziken]] to make the opening statements. Although the four are ostensibly on trial for the murder of Simonla, <s>Chris</s> Marvey makes sure to tack on a long list of charges related to the existence of the Asperpedia, such as plagiarism, mockery, [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22Don.27t_be_a_moof_or_aloof.22_.E2.80.94_Mature_content|gory pages]], and all that fucking swearing.

Sean, acting as defense lawyer, makes an opening statement while "super-high". All four enter a plea of not guilty and are summarily convicted based on the existence of their respective comics, the remote control for the deadly Voltorb, and Magi-Chan's mind-reading abilities. Sean offers a rock in their defense, because they rock. Nevertheless, the jury convicts the Asperpedia Four and Judge Lewis sentences them to be [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|executed]] by those they allegedly hurt.

[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Sandy's mental state.]]
First, Alec is strapped to a "Ten-Button Electric Chair". Each button is pressed by Chris or one of the hedgehogs, each one dwelling on how they were portrayed in Asperchu. Once all ten buttons are pressed, the chair electrocutes Alec, thus giving them all the satisfaction of killing him. For writing a comic.

Next, Evan is chained to a wall where Wild and Sandy can torture him as much as they please. Wild lets Sandy go first, and she takes his glasses as a trophy (nothing fucked up there). She then bores holes all over his body with her drill hands (including his crotch), before she and Wild finish him off together.

Sean is hung by his wrists in a room where Bill the Scientist, Allison Amber, and [[Kel]] shoot guns at him at pointblank range until he dies.

Finally Chris '''[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD |breaks Mao]]''' with his psychic powers, twisting his legs at unnatural angles before exploding his heart. Recall that one of the charges against the Asperpedia Four was for "[[Chris and hypocrisy|portryals(sic) of death in horrifying, gorey(sic) detail]]".

===Apology to the Asperpedia Four===
Strangely, throughout the scenes depicting the Asperpedia Four's arrest and trial, Chris includes flashbacks to his speech from just before Simonla's death. In these panels, Chris makes apologies and admissions as demanded by [[Alec Benson Leary]] in their [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|phone conversations]]

Chris admits the following:
*Alec has a fanbase comparable to Chris's own.
*Evan may have given Chris permission to use Simonchu in his comics, but Evan later withdrew that permission.
*Simonla was never Chris's character to use, being a blatant copy of Simonchu.
*Chris attempted to cover up the truth about how Simonchu inspired Simonla by editing her CWCipedia page.

Chris then makes the following apologies:
*To Evan, for creating Simonla without his permission.
*To Alec, for calling him [[naive]] over the phone.
*To Mao, for [[Curseyehameha|cursng him]]
*To Alec, for depicting Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu breaking into Alec's home and using Asperchu characters in this very issue.
*To Alec again, for implying that he kept four Rosechu's captive in his basement for sexual purposes.
*To the Sonichu [[fanbase]] for failing to update the CWCipedia regularly and writing disrespectful replies to fan mail in the [[Mailbag]].

Note that while Chris is conceding Alec's points in these panels, on the same pages he shows the Asperpedia Four being treated like base criminals. Most likely, this was Chris's way of fulfilling his agreement with Alec, but without actually giving him what he asked for.

===Conclusion===
Right after killing four people and involving a toddler in the execution, Chris goes on a rant about his egotistical holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and rips off Bill Pullman's speech in the movie "Independence Day".

The comic ends with a two-page dedication to the memory of [[PandaHalo]] including her original fanart and a page from her comic.

=="Extras"==

As a super [[Autism|special]] bonus for his readers sitting through the weeks long wait for updates, Chris uploaded "Marvey Blaziken, Attorney at Law" a picture featuring the blatant rip-off of...[[Harvey Birdman|you can guess exactly who.]] Demonstrating that he has learned absolutely nothing from [[Alec Benson Leary calls|his talks with Alec]], Chris essentially tells his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] to fuck off and let his "inspiration" come naturally, a process that can take [[Sonichu 8|months.]] Interestingly, and unsurprisingly, the page is just a recycled book page with added text.

True to his word ([[lies|for a change]]) Chris has proceeded to stop updating the comic while he waits for "inspiration" to happen.
{{clear}}

==Reaction==

===October 2008 Preview: Grand Theft Medal===
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been stolen, the trolls posing as [[Blanca]] responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

===February 2010 Preview: Simonla's Death===
On 13 February 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages that were slated to appear in Sonichu 10. In these pages, Chris admits that [[Asperchu]] is not as bad as it seems, and begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, [[Simonla]] asks [[Wild]] to hold her bags while she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. Simonla has just enough time to tearfully hand Wild her lucky shark's tooth before [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the Doctor]] tells Wild that she died. (In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not actually shown on page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on page.) Wild mourns for one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of her murderer, and Wild declares revenge.

The preview was the end result of an ongoing tug of war between Chris and Evan over the use of Simonla Rosechu. Evan had wanted Simonla pulled out of the comics ASAP, but Chris, being [[Ego|Chris]], refused. When Evan told Chris to kill Simonla, Chris refused, stating that it [[Chris and reality|would upset Wild Sonichu]]<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>. This war of words would culminate in Evan getting the CWCipedia shut down, forcing Chris to either swallow his pride or start hunting down a new web server. Chris, lazy fuck that he is, chose the former for the benefit of mankind.

On 25 February 2010, Chris revised those pages, revealing without a doubt that it was Evan, Sean, Mao and Alec who killed Simonla and viciously slaying the four of them. The Asperpedia Four responded by giving control of the CWCipedia ads back to [[Jack Thaddeus]], who proceeded immediately to renew his campaign to flood Chris's website with [[homo]] [[pickles]].

===Depiction of the Asperpedia Four===
As #10 took months to complete, Chris added content to respond to criticism of the parts he had finished. For example, in one of the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|phone calls]] with Alec Benson Leary, Alec took exception to the way Chris depicted him and his characters on pages 51-70. Chris would later apologize for this on pages 86 and 87.

Upon the completion of the comic, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Alec called Chris again]] to take issue with the gruesome executions of himself, Sean, Evan and Mao.

On 1 March 2010, Chris announced via his [[Twitter]] account that he would be re-revising the end of Sonichu 10 in order to make peace with Alec and company- probably in the hope that doing so will result in Jack removing his dreadfully pornographic ads. Ultimately, Chris abandoned the Cwcipedia altogether in May.

When [[Jackie]], a girl who had no knowledge of Asperchu or anything negative about Chris, saw the trial scene, Chris's godawful art style made her assume that Chris was '''executing children'''. She would eventually nag Chris about completing the new ending to #10, if only to keep his promise to Alec.

==Revised ending version==
On 30 October 2010, at [[Jackie]]'s insistence, Chris uploaded [[Book10Replacement|a video]] in which he presented the revision to the ending that he promised to Alec 6 months earlier. Instead of being sentenced to death, the Asperpedia Four are sentenced to live in an Amish community for the rest of their lives, where they're brainwashed into becoming double entendre-spewing retards. Jason Kendrick Howell is revealed to have died in a car crash, and Kathleen Nicole Wallace is put in a maximum security prison for smoking pot.

However, Jackie asked Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 19]]</ref> to make a different kind of comic altogether, where Mayor Chris has a parade of forgiveness and understanding in CWCville, acknowledging Alec's helpful intentions. She made this request due to an earlier chat where Chris had said he's forgiven Alec, and she wanted this comic to show that Chris stands by his words. However, Chris failed to deliver the comic exactly as requested, and admitted to Jackie that this was due to his ongoing hatred of Alec's [[homos|homosexuality]], [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]] and [[JERKS|JERKness]], completely missing the point of the exercise, even when Jackie was very clear in explaining ''why'' she wanted the pages to be redone.

Chris later revised his plans<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 21]]</ref> for the remake: The Asperpedia Four would be found not guilty, Chris would give shoutouts to Cwcipedia admins, and then Calvin and Dee^2 would take the four into their custody for the parade. For the parade, they would be displayed on two floats: Mao and Evan would be on a float together, branded as "busted Cyber-Bullies/Trolls", while Alec and Sean woul be "promoted as the next Dark Humor Comic Authors". So despite being found "not guilty", the parade seems more like a Roman triumph in Chris's honor, with his captured enemies included as an example of his glory. After all that, the Asperpedia Four would then go to the Amish commune of their own volition and start new lives there with their relatives.

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]
*[[Asperchu]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_1 Sonichu #10]
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10 Preview]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions] 

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]
[[Category: Asperchu Saga]]

Sonichu 10

2011-02-05T01:38:06Z

Shock Waves: /* Fall of 4-cent_garbage.com */ Death toll

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #10
| cover = [[Image:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|150px]]
| coverdate = 15 September [[2008]]
| finishedcomic = 25 [[February 2010]] ([[Book10Replacement|revised 30 October 2010]])
| pagecount = 97
| episodes = 21
| previous = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]
| next = [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]]
}}
'''''Sonichu'' #10''' is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. The final pages were scheduled to be uploaded on 24 [[February 2010]] ([[Christian Love Day|Chris's birthday]]), though he missed it by a few hours.

==Background==
===October 2008 Preview===
[[Image:Sonichu 10 release graph.png|thumb|right|Sonichu #10 release activity.]]
Throughout the early fall of [[2008]], the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls, posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the [[Medallion]].

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|9 October 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special ''Sonichu'' comic meant to be an excerpt from ''Sonichu'' #10. This was uploaded circa 14 October [[2008]]. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the medallion's safety and [[Blanca]]'s loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 [[January 2009]]. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the [[Time Void]] since the end of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], and not scheduled to return until after #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as the cover of #10.

===Conflict with Asperpedia===
During the production of ''Sonichu'' #10, Chris was also deeply embroiled in a feud with the forces behind the [[Asperpedia]]. More specifically, [[Evan]] was pressuring Chris to kill or otherwise remove [[Simonla Rosechu]] from the comics, since she was based on Evan's original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, [[Simonchu]] without his approval. Chris refused and actually retconned Simonla's entry on the [[CWCipedia]] to state that Simonla was his own original creation, and he had not based her on Simonchu. Shortly after these changes were made, [[9 February 2010|the CWCipedia went offline]], replaced by a notice from Evan's lawyers.

In order to recover the [[CWCipedia]], Chris posted a two-page spread in which Chris apologizes for his trespasses against the Asperpedia team, and Simonla is killed by an exploding toilet. When he arrived at Simonla's death in the actual comic, however, he spread the events of Simonla's death over many pages, and introduced a new character: [[Sandy Rosechu]], her daughter with [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]]. Furthermore, the Asperpedia team are depicted as Simonla's murderers, and after a trial in a kangaroo court, are violently executed, with Sandy and Wild teaming up to maim and then murder Evan. Team Asperpedia was understandably upset with this development, and have since coerced Chris into the third of his seemingly endless rewrites of the end of ''Sonichu'' #10.

===Chris's Promise to Remove Himself From the Series===
As early as [[Sonichu Game Talk|28 August 2008]], Chris had acknowledged that the ''Sonichu'' series had become too focused on Chris rather than Sonichu and the others. He promised that once he returned from the [[Time Void]] that he would step down as Mayor of CWCville and appoint his sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] to take his place. Chris seemed earnest about this, and he even mentioned his plan in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto_Saga#Chris_Will_Be_There..._Someday|Shigeru Miyamoto]] in January 2009. At the end of [[Sonichu 8|#8]], Chris teased "Next Book I get out of he Time Void", leading [[fans]] to assume he was going to step down as mayor in #9. Instead, Chris's escape from the Time Void was tacked onto the very end of the story, so he deferred his promise of pulling himself out of the books to Issue #10, where he could settle things with his remaining enemies.

And yet, after nearly several dozen pages of Chris slaughtering his foes, when the time came for him to address the people of CWCville, he announced that he would '''continue''' to be the Mayor, while Crystal would merely serve in an advisory role. Whether Chris plans to actually live up to his promise of staying out of the comics remains to be seen. [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]] started out Chris-free, but it was abandoned well before the conclusion of #10, which ends with Chris murdering someone with his super powers, then declaring his birthday to be a national holiday.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==
{{Resources
| title = Christian Chandler in Director Amenities
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10 ''Episode 21''
| videobook =Sonichu_10_Official_Videobook#Episode_21{{!}}''Episode 21''
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic11P1.htm ''Episode 21''}}
===Curing Da Homos===
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 9|the last issue]]. However, in this version Chris adds more dialogue to the scene. Magi-Chan tells Chris how much everyone missed him during the nine months or so he was missing, and Chris announces his intentions to revenge himself on his various enemies. He also tells Wild and Magi-Chan that he briefly wound up in the year 2015, where he encountered [[Lovely Weather]] while participating in a medical study to cure homosexuality. In 2015, Weather and Chris are married, so he took him home, believing the Chris of 2008 to be her husband. Having [[Kacey Call|tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self]], he then [[rape|fucked his future wife]] while his future self was at work.

By June of 2015, scientists have almost discovered the cure for [[homos|homosexuality]], but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals six years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. Chris is then vaccinated with the formula and is satisfied with the results. He grabs an additional two of the "cure" syringes, planning to use one to turn [[Reldnahc]] back into Naitsirhc, whose one completely random true love, [[Kel]], is worried sick about. The fate of the other syringe is never seen. He then entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse, restoring his virginity!).

But before sending him on his way, Chris uses Magi-Chan's telepathy to contact his allies to coordinate the rest of his master plan. He calls out to [[Allison Amber]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his [[PS3]], ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' and his plastic instruments and send him to the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building in Clarksville, Tennessee; he then tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him in Clarksville by 2:30; and finally, he tells [[Blake]], [[Punchy]], and Wild to meet him and Sonichu in Clarksville so they can perform in his [[Chris and reality|imaginary band]]. Magi-Chan departs for the future, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], sort of.

===Rage Against the Garbage 2: Electric Boogaloo===
[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|left|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]
Before heading to Clarksville, Chris makes a stop at the Sonichu Site Filing Facility, a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear. Much like the 4-cent Garbage Building, this appears to be a brick-and-mortar avatar for [[Sonichu.net]]. It's even "hosted" by Tripod. He enters to find his stuff safe and sound, until the [[Devil Trolls]] emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris defeats them with ease, then starts talking about video games and the ESRB rating system for no reason. With his precious [[shit|content]] safe, Chris uses his powers to teleport all of it into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building, erects a barrier around the building '''and fucking blows it up!''' [[Chris and remorse|Chris then claims]] that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

With that task completed, Chris contacts a [[Gal-pal]] for help setting up what would become [[CWCipedia]]. Next, he uses his foreknowledge of Lovely Weather to find her in a bookstore and set up their first date. After that, he contacts the CWCville Board of Directors, a previously unseen group who may play some role in the governance of the city. Once he informs them of his plan to commit mass murder in another state, he resumes his journey to Clarksville to settle the score with 4-cent Garbage.

===Operation: Grand Theft Medal===
''Note: Pages 13 - 20 of Sonichu #10 were drawn in October 2008 as a "preview", long before the rest of this issue was completed.''

As [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] monitors him on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[HEXBox]].

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for [[Nintendo|Wii]] or Xbox360, as if these even existed.

Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]. Convinced these items will bring him victory, Chris waits patiently in front of the door, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place. Shouldn't Sonichu have beaten him there? He didn't have nearly as much dumb shit to do.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris puts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions). Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage.com building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl '''"Jimmy!!"''' Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

''This concludes the "preview" segment of the comic.''

=== Comic Chris banishes his sexual insecurity===
While waiting for the others, Chris meditates on a bench, unaware that Reldnahc Ha-Taque is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. At the last second, Chris senses the attack and blocks it. Chris declares his intention to defeat his dark counterpart once and for all, while Naitsirhc insists that he will Chris evil and [[homo|gay]]. The two of them battle it out in their sonichu forms until they hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..." He then rises up and stabs Reldnahc with the syringe, not in the heart, but straight in his [[Black Sonichu]] [[Medallion]]. The medallion shatters, and as Reldnahc transforms back into the totally straight Naitsirhc Giovanni, Chris says the completely non-homoerotic phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"'''

Chris teleports the unconscious Naitsirhc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, and he laments that he never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]] in his Reldnahc persona, but at least the evil homo is gone. Moments later, Son-Chu and [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|The Hedgehog Boys]] arrive. As they set up their ''Guitar Hero'' gear, Sonichu notices the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap in Chris's car. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, he snaps his fingers, turning into his real life self (that is, various photos of Chris used in place of drawings). Whatever effect this was supposed to have is undermined by the fact that Chris is wearing a different shirt in real life than he was in the comic. So he stops to explain that the correct shirt was in the laundry. Chris commands Son-Chu to transform into a soundstage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] to perform. That's right, they plan to defeat the trolls with the power... of ROCK.

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

===Fall of 4-cent_garbage.com===
Chris begins to play what the comic calls [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a set of badly written lyrics set to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent. Unlike the original song, which was about fucking, Chris's version complains about an eleven year old episode of a children's TV show. As Chris plays the instrumental part of the song, the 4-cent garbage Building begins to shake. Inside, Beel, [[Clyde Cash]], and [[Jack Thaddeus]] warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't withstand guitar licks of this magnitude, and they must escape before the whole place comes down around them. Jason agrees, but chooses to save only himself and [[Kathleen]]. As he readies for departure, he explains that he is STRAIGHT, and has decided to retire from trolling to settle down with Kathleen in a normal life. Beel also decided to save himself, leaving Clyde and Jack to die. With no way out, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true heroes as they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as the building collapses around them.

Outside, Chris and his band continue their relentless barrage of rock until the entire building is reduced to a pile of rubble. The narration then reports on the aftermath with a simply baffling and incorrect death toll estimates of the employees. Chris has the gall to say that he and "the rest of us heroes" cleaned up the rubble and called ambulances to save the very people he attacked. Chris sheds a tear over the senseless destruction he himself had perpetrated minutes earlier. He then quickly changes the subject by comparing the dead trolls to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''.

===Christian Love Day===
[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]
At that moment, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|being Big Brother]]. He reports to Chris that testing on the Homo Vaccine in 2015 is a success and that he has delivered it to 2008, where it will be dispensed into the world's drinking water. Magi-Chan then predicts that by February 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be declared a holiday named [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]], in honor of the man whose blood and time travel powers made it all possible. Magi-Chan also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female, and she will fall in love with Magi-Chan.

Out of nowhere, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a fan of the comic series. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] in disguise, commenting on how easy it was to troll him. Yes, Chris did just depict himself making out with someone who has a penis, why do you ask?

Chris then pauses the story to make yet another rambling non-apology to his homosexual fanbase. Much like Sonichu's tantrum in [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Chris starts out with a very diplomatic tone, but then grows more defensive and confrontational, blaming the offensive nature of his comics on the readers' refusal to accept him and his characters as heterosexual. Chris begs his readers not to abandon him, but in spite of his apology, he made no effort to remove or redraw the content for which he was apologizing.

===Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan===
With gay people finally dealt with, Chris and Sonichu use the seven Sonichu Balls to transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, they communicate telepathically, and Chris orders Sonichu to [[RuleCWC]] while he heads back to CWCville. There, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. In RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, and she immediately showers Darkbind with gratitude for... Well, actually, he didn't do jack shit, but Sonichu's already married, so there you go.

===Mission in Minnesota===
[[Image:XboxCameForCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Putting a whole new meaning on the word "X'''box'''".]][[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|right|Chris could have picked ''Mass Effect 2'' when lusting after a dating game. Instead, he consciously chose ''this.'' Not entirely unforeseen!]]
Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan rendevous over the home of [[Alec Benson Leary]]. After breaking in, Chris [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|inserts his finger]] into a USB port on Alec's computer (a HEXbox Pavillion), then concentrates and rips off ''[[Shadow the Hedgehog]]'' by placing himself inside the computer. Chris then deletes all files within the [[Asperpedia]] website, bans Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, and deletes their accounts for good measure. He then steals a "better dating simulator" (likely [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"]) with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though XBox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator. Just in case he hadn't done enough damage, Chris blows up the computer as well.

While Chris was doing this, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the [[Chris and art|bad art]] from the Asperchu series. As he investigates the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu discovers Asperchu outside in the yard, along with Alec's version of Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo. When they see Ultra Sonichu, Alec's Hedgehog Pokemon treat him like a god, and beg forgiveness from Chris for the awful things Alec has made them do in his comics. They tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's, forced them to become gay, and compelled them to drop their real names as they impersonated their counterparts in CWCville. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure their Asperger's and give them new clothes. Asperchu himself is dramatically altered, becoming a [[homos|muscle-bound]] Sonichu known as [[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch]]. In return for his help, Sonichu asks them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free.

When Chris comes outside to meet the others, they literally [[Chris and his ego|bows down before him]] and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God, [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|but he appreciates the gesture]]. Together, they all defeat Metal Asperchu, then [[death threats|physically assault]] Alec Benson Leary off-panel. Alec apparently had a group of Rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.

Chris pauses the story once again to address the audience. This time, he denounces "Asperchu" and its depiction of the cast of "Sonichu". Impatiently, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story. Even ''he'' is fed up with the constant interruptions.

===Return to CWCville===
Back in the Mayor's Office, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, the mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. [[Simonla]] specifically denounces [[Evan]], who retconned her as a female clone of [[Simonchu]] in his own comic. [[Allison Amber]] speaks poorly of Moon-Pals, but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest CWCville, and possibly the world, fall into total chaos and anarchy. For some reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.

Ultra Sonichu and the four [[Basement Rosechus]] arrive in one of CWCville's many [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|soup hotel]]s. Sonichu rambles on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated Rosechus just stare on despondently. After he drops them off, he runs into [[Inos]], a very high [[niggo]], obviously another satisfied customer of [[Yawning Squirtle]]. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. He has Magi-Chan summon [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|some cops]] to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for [[the Moon]].

With all that nonsense out of the way, Ultra Sonichu flies to the flagpole of a tall building, where he expends the last of his Ultra Sonichu power to free all [[Jerkops]] from [[Slaweel Ryam]]'s mind control. Collosal Chan confronts her in the [[PVCC]], now deserted since all of the Jerkops gone back to their old lives. Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast, how she tried to cause others the same misfortune. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to release Graduon. Chris takes the wand and smashes it onto the floor. Chris then complains about how he's never had any luck with trying to find someone himself and how he cursed the male population for it. He creates [[Things Chris has ripped off|electric versions of Kratos's blades]] before declaring that he will defeat Slaweel and never forgive her. The two start fighting and Chris naturally defeats her with ease. Because Chris is so paranoid about people getting the "wrong" impression about him, he clarifies that Mary is only paralyzed, and not outright killed.

===Christian Lies, Simonla Dies===
[[File:TEVDoesHisThingp.jpg|thumb|How it went down.]]
Following Mary's defeat, Chris holds a public assembly to update the city on recent developments. He announces Walsh's arrest and imprisonment, the emancipation of all Jerkops, and the legalization of homosexuality in CWCville. Gay marriage remains illegal, but seeing as how homosexuality is supposed to be eradicated a few months later, it doesn't seem to matter. Chris appoints his twin sister Crystal as a "social relations" assistant, and that he will continue to hold the office of mayor indefinitely. Chris also promises to make fewer appearances in future Sonichu comics.

During his speech, [[Simonla]] goes to the bathroom, leaving [[Wild]] to tend to their egg. At the same time, Magi-Chan notices [[Evan]] in the rafters of the Mall, trying to cut down a massive TV screen hanging over the audience. He quickly paralyzes Evan, then spots [[Simonchu]] skulking behind a potted plant in a black cloak. Magi-Chan accuses him of trying to murder his own sister (Simonla, according to Chris). But they are just a diversion, as a third conspirator, Alec Benson Leary, has finished planing a Toilet Exploding Voltorb in the women's restroom, which he detonates once Simonla sits down to piss.

Wild accompanies Simonla to the hospital, and she gives him her "lucky shark's tooth" (aka the drill pendant Chris stole from Evan's Simonchu design, which itself was taken from Simon the driller from ''Gurren Lagann'') in case she doesn't make it. Wild sits on their egg in the waiting room, until at last [[Bill the Scientist]] informs him that she died in surgery. Wild swears revenge, but Magi-Chan reminds him that the killers are already in custody. At that moment, Wild's egg hatches. Wild names his daughter [[Sandy]] and Magi-Chan, [[Autism|insensitive fuck that he is]], tells her point blank Evan killed her mother.

Wild assumes the burden of a single father, and within a week, Sandy evolves into a Rosechu, who just so happens to look almost exactly like Simonla.

===Trial of the Asperpedia Four===
[[File:FreeAsperpedia4.jpg|thumb|left|Public reaction to Chris's abortion of justice]]
Time then jumps ahead to the trial of ''CWCVille v. Alec, Sean, Evan and Mao.'' Presided by Judge Slack Lewis (based on comedian Lewis Black), he calls for prosecuting attorney [[Harvey Birdman|Marvey]] [[Pokemon|Blaziken]] to make the opening statements. Although the four are ostensibly on trial for the murder of Simonla, <s>Chris</s> Marvey makes sure to tack on a long list of charges related to the existence of the Asperpedia, such as plagiarism, mockery, [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22Don.27t_be_a_moof_or_aloof.22_.E2.80.94_Mature_content|gory pages]], and all that fucking swearing.

Sean, acting as defense lawyer, makes an opening statement while "super-high". All four enter a plea of not guilty and are summarily convicted based on the existence of their respective comics, the remote control for the deadly Voltorb, and Magi-Chan's mind-reading abilities. Sean offers a rock in their defense, because they rock. Nevertheless, the jury convicts the Asperpedia Four and Judge Lewis sentences them to be [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|executed]] by those they allegedly hurt.

[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Sandy's mental state.]]
First, Alec is strapped to a "Ten-Button Electric Chair". Each button is pressed by Chris or one of the hedgehogs, each one dwelling on how they were portrayed in Asperchu. Once all ten buttons are pressed, the chair electrocutes Alec, thus giving them all the satisfaction of killing him. For writing a comic.

Next, Evan is chained to a wall where Wild and Sandy can torture him as much as they please. Wild lets Sandy go first, and she takes his glasses as a trophy (nothing fucked up there). She then bores holes all over his body with her drill hands (including his crotch), before she and Wild finish him off together.

Sean is hung by his wrists in a room where Bill the Scientist, Allison Amber, and [[Kel]] shoot guns at him at pointblank range until he dies.

Finally Chris '''[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD |breaks Mao]]''' with his psychic powers, twisting his legs at unnatural angles before exploding his heart. Recall that one of the charges against the Asperpedia Four was for "[[Chris and hypocrisy|portryals(sic) of death in horrifying, gorey(sic) detail]]".

===Apology to the Asperpedia Four===
Strangely, throughout the scenes depicting the Asperpedia Four's arrest and trial, Chris includes flashbacks to his speech from just before Simonla's death. In these panels, Chris makes apologies and admissions as demanded by [[Alec Benson Leary]] in their [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|phone conversations]]

Chris admits the following:
*Alec has a fanbase comparable to Chris's own.
*Evan may have given Chris permission to use Simonchu in his comics, but Evan later withdrew that permission.
*Simonla was never Chris's character to use, being a blatant copy of Simonchu.
*Chris attempted to cover up the truth about how Simonchu inspired Simonla by editing her CWCipedia page.

Chris then makes the following apologies:
*To Evan, for creating Simonla without his permission.
*To Alec, for calling him [[naive]] over the phone.
*To Mao, for [[Curseyehameha|cursng him]]
*To Alec, for depicting Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu breaking into Alec's home and using Asperchu characters in this very issue.
*To Alec again, for implying that he kept four Rosechu's captive in his basement for sexual purposes.
*To the Sonichu [[fanbase]] for failing to update the CWCipedia regularly and writing disrespectful replies to fan mail in the [[Mailbag]].

Note that while Chris is conceding Alec's points in these panels, on the same pages he shows the Asperpedia Four being treated like base criminals. Most likely, this was Chris's way of fulfilling his agreement with Alec, but without actually giving him what he asked for.

===Conclusion===
Right after killing four people and involving a toddler in the execution, Chris goes on a rant about his egotistical holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and rips off Bill Pullman's speech in the movie "Independence Day".

The comic ends with a two-page dedication to the memory of [[PandaHalo]] including her original fanart and a page from her comic.

=="Extras"==

As a super [[Autism|special]] bonus for his readers sitting through the weeks long wait for updates, Chris uploaded "Marvey Blaziken, Attorney at Law" a picture featuring the blatant rip-off of...[[Harvey Birdman|you can guess exactly who.]] Demonstrating that he has learned absolutely nothing from [[Alec Benson Leary calls|his talks with Alec]], Chris essentially tells his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] to fuck off and let his "inspiration" come naturally, a process that can take [[Sonichu 8|months.]] Interestingly, and unsurprisingly, the page is just a recycled book page with added text.

True to his word ([[lies|for a change]]) Chris has proceeded to stop updating the comic while he waits for "inspiration" to happen.
{{clear}}

==Reaction==

===October 2008 Preview: Grand Theft Medal===
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been stolen, the trolls posing as [[Blanca]] responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

===February 2010 Preview: Simonla's Death===
On 13 February 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages that were slated to appear in Sonichu 10. In these pages, Chris admits that [[Asperchu]] is not as bad as it seems, and begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, [[Simonla]] asks [[Wild]] to hold her bags while she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. Simonla has just enough time to tearfully hand Wild her lucky shark's tooth before [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the Doctor]] tells Wild that she died. (In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not actually shown on page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on page.) Wild mourns for one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of her murderer, and Wild declares revenge.

The preview was the end result of an ongoing tug of war between Chris and Evan over the use of Simonla Rosechu. Evan had wanted Simonla pulled out of the comics ASAP, but Chris, being [[Ego|Chris]], refused. When Evan told Chris to kill Simonla, Chris refused, stating that it [[Chris and reality|would upset Wild Sonichu]]<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>. This war of words would culminate in Evan getting the CWCipedia shut down, forcing Chris to either swallow his pride or start hunting down a new web server. Chris, lazy fuck that he is, chose the former for the benefit of mankind.

On 25 February 2010, Chris revised those pages, revealing without a doubt that it was Evan, Sean, Mao and Alec who killed Simonla and viciously slaying the four of them. The Asperpedia Four responded by giving control of the CWCipedia ads back to [[Jack Thaddeus]], who proceeded immediately to renew his campaign to flood Chris's website with [[homo]] [[pickles]].

===Depiction of the Asperpedia Four===
As #10 took months to complete, Chris added content to respond to criticism of the parts he had finished. For example, in one of the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|phone calls]] with Alec Benson Leary, Alec took exception to the way Chris depicted him and his characters on pages 51-70. Chris would later apologize for this on pages 86 and 87.

Upon the completion of the comic, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Alec called Chris again]] to take issue with the gruesome executions of himself, Sean, Evan and Mao.

On 1 March 2010, Chris announced via his [[Twitter]] account that he would be re-revising the end of Sonichu 10 in order to make peace with Alec and company- probably in the hope that doing so will result in Jack removing his dreadfully pornographic ads. Ultimately, Chris abandoned the Cwcipedia altogether in May.

When [[Jackie]], a girl who had no knowledge of Asperchu or anything negative about Chris, saw the trial scene, Chris's godawful art style made her assume that Chris was '''executing children'''. She would eventually nag Chris about completing the new ending to #10, if only to keep his promise to Alec.

==Revised ending version==
On 30 October 2010, at [[Jackie]]'s insistence, Chris uploaded [[Book10Replacement|a video]] in which he presented the revision to the ending that he promised to Alec 6 months earlier. Instead of being sentenced to death, the Asperpedia Four are sentenced to live in an Amish community for the rest of their lives, where they're brainwashed into becoming double entendre-spewing retards. Jason Kendrick Howell is revealed to have died in a car crash, and Kathleen Nicole Wallace is put in a maximum security prison for smoking pot.

However, Jackie asked Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 19]]</ref> to make a different kind of comic altogether, where Mayor Chris has a parade of forgiveness and understanding in CWCville, acknowledging Alec's helpful intentions. She made this request due to an earlier chat where Chris had said he's forgiven Alec, and she wanted this comic to show that Chris stands by his words. However, Chris failed to deliver the comic exactly as requested, and admitted to Jackie that this was due to his ongoing hatred of Alec's [[homos|homosexuality]], [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]] and [[JERKS|JERKness]], completely missing the point of the exercise, even when Jackie was very clear in explaining ''why'' she wanted the pages to be redone.

Chris later revised his plans<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 21]]</ref> for the remake: The Asperpedia Four would be found not guilty, Chris would give shoutouts to Cwcipedia admins, and then Calvin and Dee^2 would take the four into their custody for the parade. For the parade, they would be displayed on two floats: Mao and Evan would be on a float together, branded as "busted Cyber-Bullies/Trolls", while Alec and Sean woul be "promoted as the next Dark Humor Comic Authors". So despite being found "not guilty", the parade seems more like a Roman triumph in Chris's honor, with his captured enemies included as an example of his glory. After all that, the Asperpedia Four would then go to the Amish commune of their own volition and start new lives there with their relatives.

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]
*[[Asperchu]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_1 Sonichu #10]
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10 Preview]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions] 

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]
[[Category: Asperchu Saga]]

Sonichu 10

2011-02-05T01:11:52Z

Shock Waves: /* Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities */ In fairness he implicity states he was vaccinated, thus protecting him from "turning" into a homo

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #10
| cover = [[Image:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|150px]]
| coverdate = 15 September [[2008]]
| finishedcomic = 25 [[February 2010]] ([[Book10Replacement|revised 30 October 2010]])
| pagecount = 97
| episodes = 21
| previous = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]
| next = [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]]
}}
'''''Sonichu'' #10''' is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. The final pages were scheduled to be uploaded on 24 [[February 2010]] ([[Christian Love Day|Chris's birthday]]), though he missed it by a few hours.

==Background==
===October 2008 Preview===
[[Image:Sonichu 10 release graph.png|thumb|right|Sonichu #10 release activity.]]
Throughout the early fall of [[2008]], the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls, posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the [[Medallion]].

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|9 October 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special ''Sonichu'' comic meant to be an excerpt from ''Sonichu'' #10. This was uploaded circa 14 October [[2008]]. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the medallion's safety and [[Blanca]]'s loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 [[January 2009]]. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the [[Time Void]] since the end of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], and not scheduled to return until after #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as the cover of #10.

===Conflict with Asperpedia===
During the production of ''Sonichu'' #10, Chris was also deeply embroiled in a feud with the forces behind the [[Asperpedia]]. More specifically, [[Evan]] was pressuring Chris to kill or otherwise remove [[Simonla Rosechu]] from the comics, since she was based on Evan's original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, [[Simonchu]] without his approval. Chris refused and actually retconned Simonla's entry on the [[CWCipedia]] to state that Simonla was his own original creation, and he had not based her on Simonchu. Shortly after these changes were made, [[9 February 2010|the CWCipedia went offline]], replaced by a notice from Evan's lawyers.

In order to recover the [[CWCipedia]], Chris posted a two-page spread in which Chris apologizes for his trespasses against the Asperpedia team, and Simonla is killed by an exploding toilet. When he arrived at Simonla's death in the actual comic, however, he spread the events of Simonla's death over many pages, and introduced a new character: [[Sandy Rosechu]], her daughter with [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]]. Furthermore, the Asperpedia team are depicted as Simonla's murderers, and after a trial in a kangaroo court, are violently executed, with Sandy and Wild teaming up to maim and then murder Evan. Team Asperpedia was understandably upset with this development, and have since coerced Chris into the third of his seemingly endless rewrites of the end of ''Sonichu'' #10.

===Chris's Promise to Remove Himself From the Series===
As early as [[Sonichu Game Talk|28 August 2008]], Chris had acknowledged that the ''Sonichu'' series had become too focused on Chris rather than Sonichu and the others. He promised that once he returned from the [[Time Void]] that he would step down as Mayor of CWCville and appoint his sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] to take his place. Chris seemed earnest about this, and he even mentioned his plan in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto_Saga#Chris_Will_Be_There..._Someday|Shigeru Miyamoto]] in January 2009. At the end of [[Sonichu 8|#8]], Chris teased "Next Book I get out of he Time Void", leading [[fans]] to assume he was going to step down as mayor in #9. Instead, Chris's escape from the Time Void was tacked onto the very end of the story, so he deferred his promise of pulling himself out of the books to Issue #10, where he could settle things with his remaining enemies.

And yet, after nearly several dozen pages of Chris slaughtering his foes, when the time came for him to address the people of CWCville, he announced that he would '''continue''' to be the Mayor, while Crystal would merely serve in an advisory role. Whether Chris plans to actually live up to his promise of staying out of the comics remains to be seen. [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]] started out Chris-free, but it was abandoned well before the conclusion of #10, which ends with Chris murdering someone with his super powers, then declaring his birthday to be a national holiday.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==
{{Resources
| title = Christian Chandler in Director Amenities
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10 ''Episode 21''
| videobook =Sonichu_10_Official_Videobook#Episode_21{{!}}''Episode 21''
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic11P1.htm ''Episode 21''}}
===Curing Da Homos===
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 9|the last issue]]. However, in this version Chris adds more dialogue to the scene. Magi-Chan tells Chris how much everyone missed him during the nine months or so he was missing, and Chris announces his intentions to revenge himself on his various enemies. He also tells Wild and Magi-Chan that he briefly wound up in the year 2015, where he encountered [[Lovely Weather]] while participating in a medical study to cure homosexuality. In 2015, Weather and Chris are married, so he took him home, believing the Chris of 2008 to be her husband. Having [[Kacey Call|tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self]], he then [[rape|fucked his future wife]] while his future self was at work.

By June of 2015, scientists have almost discovered the cure for [[homos|homosexuality]], but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals six years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. Chris is then vaccinated with the formula and is satisfied with the results. He grabs an additional two of the "cure" syringes, planning to use one to turn [[Reldnahc]] back into Naitsirhc, whose one completely random true love, [[Kel]], is worried sick about. The fate of the other syringe is never seen. He then entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse, restoring his virginity!).

But before sending him on his way, Chris uses Magi-Chan's telepathy to contact his allies to coordinate the rest of his master plan. He calls out to [[Allison Amber]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his [[PS3]], ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' and his plastic instruments and send him to the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building in Clarksville, Tennessee; he then tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him in Clarksville by 2:30; and finally, he tells [[Blake]], [[Punchy]], and Wild to meet him and Sonichu in Clarksville so they can perform in his [[Chris and reality|imaginary band]]. Magi-Chan departs for the future, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], sort of.

===Rage Against the Garbage 2: Electric Boogaloo===
[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|left|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]
Before heading to Clarksville, Chris makes a stop at the Sonichu Site Filing Facility, a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear. Much like the 4-cent Garbage Building, this appears to be a brick-and-mortar avatar for [[Sonichu.net]]. It's even "hosted" by Tripod. He enters to find his stuff safe and sound, until the [[Devil Trolls]] emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris defeats them with ease, then starts talking about video games and the ESRB rating system for no reason. With his precious [[shit|content]] safe, Chris uses his powers to teleport all of it into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building, erects a barrier around the building '''and fucking blows it up!''' [[Chris and remorse|Chris then claims]] that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

With that task completed, Chris contacts a [[Gal-pal]] for help setting up what would become [[CWCipedia]]. Next, he uses his foreknowledge of Lovely Weather to find her in a bookstore and set up their first date. After that, he contacts the CWCville Board of Directors, a previously unseen group who may play some role in the governance of the city. Once he informs them of his plan to commit mass murder in another state, he resumes his journey to Clarksville to settle the score with 4-cent Garbage.

===Operation: Grand Theft Medal===
''Note: Pages 13 - 20 of Sonichu #10 were drawn in October 2008 as a "preview", long before the rest of this issue was completed.''

As [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] monitors him on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[HEXBox]].

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for [[Nintendo|Wii]] or Xbox360, as if these even existed.

Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]. Convinced these items will bring him victory, Chris waits patiently in front of the door, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place. Shouldn't Sonichu have beaten him there? He didn't have nearly as much dumb shit to do.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris puts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions). Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage.com building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl '''"Jimmy!!"''' Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

''This concludes the "preview" segment of the comic.''

=== Comic Chris banishes his sexual insecurity===
While waiting for the others, Chris meditates on a bench, unaware that Reldnahc Ha-Taque is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. At the last second, Chris senses the attack and blocks it. Chris declares his intention to defeat his dark counterpart once and for all, while Naitsirhc insists that he will Chris evil and [[homo|gay]]. The two of them battle it out in their sonichu forms until they hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..." He then rises up and stabs Reldnahc with the syringe, not in the heart, but straight in his [[Black Sonichu]] [[Medallion]]. The medallion shatters, and as Reldnahc transforms back into the totally straight Naitsirhc Giovanni, Chris says the completely non-homoerotic phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"'''

Chris teleports the unconscious Naitsirhc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, and he laments that he never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]] in his Reldnahc persona, but at least the evil homo is gone. Moments later, Son-Chu and [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|The Hedgehog Boys]] arrive. As they set up their ''Guitar Hero'' gear, Sonichu notices the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap in Chris's car. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, he snaps his fingers, turning into his real life self (that is, various photos of Chris used in place of drawings). Whatever effect this was supposed to have is undermined by the fact that Chris is wearing a different shirt in real life than he was in the comic. So he stops to explain that the correct shirt was in the laundry. Chris commands Son-Chu to transform into a soundstage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] to perform. That's right, they plan to defeat the trolls with the power... of ROCK.

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

===Fall of 4-cent_garbage.com===
Chris begins to play what the comic calls [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a set of badly written lyrics set to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent. Unlike the original song, which was about fucking, Chris's version complains about an eleven year old episode of a children's TV show. As Chris plays the instrumental part of the song, the 4-cent garbage Building begins to shake. Inside, Beel, [[Clyde Cash]], and [[Jack Thaddeus]] warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't withstand guitar licks of this magnitude, and they must escape before the whole place comes down around them. Jason agrees, but chooses to save only himself and [[Kathleen]]. As he readies for departure, he explains that he is STRAIGHT, and has decided to retire from trolling to settle down with Kathleen in a normal life. Beel also decided to save himself, leaving Clyde and Jack to die. With no way out, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true heroes as they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as the building collapses around them.

Outside, Chris and his band continue their relentless barrage of rock until the entire building is reduced to a pile of rubble. The narration then reports on the aftermath. Chris has the gall to say that he and "the rest of us heroes" cleaned up the rubble and called ambulances to save the very people he attacked. Chris sheds a tear over the senseless destruction he himself had perpetrated minutes earlier. He then quickly changes the subject by comparing the dead trolls to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''.

===Christian Love Day===
[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]
At that moment, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|being Big Brother]]. He reports to Chris that testing on the Homo Vaccine in 2015 is a success and that he has delivered it to 2008, where it will be dispensed into the world's drinking water. Magi-Chan then predicts that by February 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be declared a holiday named [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]], in honor of the man whose blood and time travel powers made it all possible. Magi-Chan also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female, and she will fall in love with Magi-Chan.

Out of nowhere, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a fan of the comic series. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] in disguise, commenting on how easy it was to troll him. Yes, Chris did just depict himself making out with someone who has a penis, why do you ask?

Chris then pauses the story to make yet another rambling non-apology to his homosexual fanbase. Much like Sonichu's tantrum in [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Chris starts out with a very diplomatic tone, but then grows more defensive and confrontational, blaming the offensive nature of his comics on the readers' refusal to accept him and his characters as heterosexual. Chris begs his readers not to abandon him, but in spite of his apology, he made no effort to remove or redraw the content for which he was apologizing.

===Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan===
With gay people finally dealt with, Chris and Sonichu use the seven Sonichu Balls to transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, they communicate telepathically, and Chris orders Sonichu to [[RuleCWC]] while he heads back to CWCville. There, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. In RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, and she immediately showers Darkbind with gratitude for... Well, actually, he didn't do jack shit, but Sonichu's already married, so there you go.

===Mission in Minnesota===
[[Image:XboxCameForCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Putting a whole new meaning on the word "X'''box'''".]][[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|right|Chris could have picked ''Mass Effect 2'' when lusting after a dating game. Instead, he consciously chose ''this.'' Not entirely unforeseen!]]
Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan rendevous over the home of [[Alec Benson Leary]]. After breaking in, Chris [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|inserts his finger]] into a USB port on Alec's computer (a HEXbox Pavillion), then concentrates and rips off ''[[Shadow the Hedgehog]]'' by placing himself inside the computer. Chris then deletes all files within the [[Asperpedia]] website, bans Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, and deletes their accounts for good measure. He then steals a "better dating simulator" (likely [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"]) with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though XBox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator. Just in case he hadn't done enough damage, Chris blows up the computer as well.

While Chris was doing this, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the [[Chris and art|bad art]] from the Asperchu series. As he investigates the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu discovers Asperchu outside in the yard, along with Alec's version of Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo. When they see Ultra Sonichu, Alec's Hedgehog Pokemon treat him like a god, and beg forgiveness from Chris for the awful things Alec has made them do in his comics. They tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's, forced them to become gay, and compelled them to drop their real names as they impersonated their counterparts in CWCville. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure their Asperger's and give them new clothes. Asperchu himself is dramatically altered, becoming a [[homos|muscle-bound]] Sonichu known as [[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch]]. In return for his help, Sonichu asks them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free.

When Chris comes outside to meet the others, they literally [[Chris and his ego|bows down before him]] and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God, [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|but he appreciates the gesture]]. Together, they all defeat Metal Asperchu, then [[death threats|physically assault]] Alec Benson Leary off-panel. Alec apparently had a group of Rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.

Chris pauses the story once again to address the audience. This time, he denounces "Asperchu" and its depiction of the cast of "Sonichu". Impatiently, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story. Even ''he'' is fed up with the constant interruptions.

===Return to CWCville===
Back in the Mayor's Office, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, the mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. [[Simonla]] specifically denounces [[Evan]], who retconned her as a female clone of [[Simonchu]] in his own comic. [[Allison Amber]] speaks poorly of Moon-Pals, but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest CWCville, and possibly the world, fall into total chaos and anarchy. For some reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.

Ultra Sonichu and the four [[Basement Rosechus]] arrive in one of CWCville's many [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|soup hotel]]s. Sonichu rambles on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated Rosechus just stare on despondently. After he drops them off, he runs into [[Inos]], a very high [[niggo]], obviously another satisfied customer of [[Yawning Squirtle]]. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. He has Magi-Chan summon [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|some cops]] to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for [[the Moon]].

With all that nonsense out of the way, Ultra Sonichu flies to the flagpole of a tall building, where he expends the last of his Ultra Sonichu power to free all [[Jerkops]] from [[Slaweel Ryam]]'s mind control. Collosal Chan confronts her in the [[PVCC]], now deserted since all of the Jerkops gone back to their old lives. Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast, how she tried to cause others the same misfortune. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to release Graduon. Chris takes the wand and smashes it onto the floor. Chris then complains about how he's never had any luck with trying to find someone himself and how he cursed the male population for it. He creates [[Things Chris has ripped off|electric versions of Kratos's blades]] before declaring that he will defeat Slaweel and never forgive her. The two start fighting and Chris naturally defeats her with ease. Because Chris is so paranoid about people getting the "wrong" impression about him, he clarifies that Mary is only paralyzed, and not outright killed.

===Christian Lies, Simonla Dies===
[[File:TEVDoesHisThingp.jpg|thumb|How it went down.]]
Following Mary's defeat, Chris holds a public assembly to update the city on recent developments. He announces Walsh's arrest and imprisonment, the emancipation of all Jerkops, and the legalization of homosexuality in CWCville. Gay marriage remains illegal, but seeing as how homosexuality is supposed to be eradicated a few months later, it doesn't seem to matter. Chris appoints his twin sister Crystal as a "social relations" assistant, and that he will continue to hold the office of mayor indefinitely. Chris also promises to make fewer appearances in future Sonichu comics.

During his speech, [[Simonla]] goes to the bathroom, leaving [[Wild]] to tend to their egg. At the same time, Magi-Chan notices [[Evan]] in the rafters of the Mall, trying to cut down a massive TV screen hanging over the audience. He quickly paralyzes Evan, then spots [[Simonchu]] skulking behind a potted plant in a black cloak. Magi-Chan accuses him of trying to murder his own sister (Simonla, according to Chris). But they are just a diversion, as a third conspirator, Alec Benson Leary, has finished planing a Toilet Exploding Voltorb in the women's restroom, which he detonates once Simonla sits down to piss.

Wild accompanies Simonla to the hospital, and she gives him her "lucky shark's tooth" (aka the drill pendant Chris stole from Evan's Simonchu design, which itself was taken from Simon the driller from ''Gurren Lagann'') in case she doesn't make it. Wild sits on their egg in the waiting room, until at last [[Bill the Scientist]] informs him that she died in surgery. Wild swears revenge, but Magi-Chan reminds him that the killers are already in custody. At that moment, Wild's egg hatches. Wild names his daughter [[Sandy]] and Magi-Chan, [[Autism|insensitive fuck that he is]], tells her point blank Evan killed her mother.

Wild assumes the burden of a single father, and within a week, Sandy evolves into a Rosechu, who just so happens to look almost exactly like Simonla.

===Trial of the Asperpedia Four===
[[File:FreeAsperpedia4.jpg|thumb|left|Public reaction to Chris's abortion of justice]]
Time then jumps ahead to the trial of ''CWCVille v. Alec, Sean, Evan and Mao.'' Presided by Judge Slack Lewis (based on comedian Lewis Black), he calls for prosecuting attorney [[Harvey Birdman|Marvey]] [[Pokemon|Blaziken]] to make the opening statements. Although the four are ostensibly on trial for the murder of Simonla, <s>Chris</s> Marvey makes sure to tack on a long list of charges related to the existence of the Asperpedia, such as plagiarism, mockery, [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22Don.27t_be_a_moof_or_aloof.22_.E2.80.94_Mature_content|gory pages]], and all that fucking swearing.

Sean, acting as defense lawyer, makes an opening statement while "super-high". All four enter a plea of not guilty and are summarily convicted based on the existence of their respective comics, the remote control for the deadly Voltorb, and Magi-Chan's mind-reading abilities. Sean offers a rock in their defense, because they rock. Nevertheless, the jury convicts the Asperpedia Four and Judge Lewis sentences them to be [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|executed]] by those they allegedly hurt.

[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Sandy's mental state.]]
First, Alec is strapped to a "Ten-Button Electric Chair". Each button is pressed by Chris or one of the hedgehogs, each one dwelling on how they were portrayed in Asperchu. Once all ten buttons are pressed, the chair electrocutes Alec, thus giving them all the satisfaction of killing him. For writing a comic.

Next, Evan is chained to a wall where Wild and Sandy can torture him as much as they please. Wild lets Sandy go first, and she takes his glasses as a trophy (nothing fucked up there). She then bores holes all over his body with her drill hands (including his crotch), before she and Wild finish him off together.

Sean is hung by his wrists in a room where Bill the Scientist, Allison Amber, and [[Kel]] shoot guns at him at pointblank range until he dies.

Finally Chris '''[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD |breaks Mao]]''' with his psychic powers, twisting his legs at unnatural angles before exploding his heart. Recall that one of the charges against the Asperpedia Four was for "[[Chris and hypocrisy|portryals(sic) of death in horrifying, gorey(sic) detail]]".

===Apology to the Asperpedia Four===
Strangely, throughout the scenes depicting the Asperpedia Four's arrest and trial, Chris includes flashbacks to his speech from just before Simonla's death. In these panels, Chris makes apologies and admissions as demanded by [[Alec Benson Leary]] in their [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|phone conversations]]

Chris admits the following:
*Alec has a fanbase comparable to Chris's own.
*Evan may have given Chris permission to use Simonchu in his comics, but Evan later withdrew that permission.
*Simonla was never Chris's character to use, being a blatant copy of Simonchu.
*Chris attempted to cover up the truth about how Simonchu inspired Simonla by editing her CWCipedia page.

Chris then makes the following apologies:
*To Evan, for creating Simonla without his permission.
*To Alec, for calling him [[naive]] over the phone.
*To Mao, for [[Curseyehameha|cursng him]]
*To Alec, for depicting Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu breaking into Alec's home and using Asperchu characters in this very issue.
*To Alec again, for implying that he kept four Rosechu's captive in his basement for sexual purposes.
*To the Sonichu [[fanbase]] for failing to update the CWCipedia regularly and writing disrespectful replies to fan mail in the [[Mailbag]].

Note that while Chris is conceding Alec's points in these panels, on the same pages he shows the Asperpedia Four being treated like base criminals. Most likely, this was Chris's way of fulfilling his agreement with Alec, but without actually giving him what he asked for.

===Conclusion===
Right after killing four people and involving a toddler in the execution, Chris goes on a rant about his egotistical holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and rips off Bill Pullman's speech in the movie "Independence Day".

The comic ends with a two-page dedication to the memory of [[PandaHalo]] including her original fanart and a page from her comic.

=="Extras"==

As a super [[Autism|special]] bonus for his readers sitting through the weeks long wait for updates, Chris uploaded "Marvey Blaziken, Attorney at Law" a picture featuring the blatant rip-off of...[[Harvey Birdman|you can guess exactly who.]] Demonstrating that he has learned absolutely nothing from [[Alec Benson Leary calls|his talks with Alec]], Chris essentially tells his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] to fuck off and let his "inspiration" come naturally, a process that can take [[Sonichu 8|months.]] Interestingly, and unsurprisingly, the page is just a recycled book page with added text.

True to his word ([[lies|for a change]]) Chris has proceeded to stop updating the comic while he waits for "inspiration" to happen.
{{clear}}

==Reaction==

===October 2008 Preview: Grand Theft Medal===
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been stolen, the trolls posing as [[Blanca]] responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

===February 2010 Preview: Simonla's Death===
On 13 February 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages that were slated to appear in Sonichu 10. In these pages, Chris admits that [[Asperchu]] is not as bad as it seems, and begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, [[Simonla]] asks [[Wild]] to hold her bags while she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. Simonla has just enough time to tearfully hand Wild her lucky shark's tooth before [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the Doctor]] tells Wild that she died. (In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not actually shown on page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on page.) Wild mourns for one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of her murderer, and Wild declares revenge.

The preview was the end result of an ongoing tug of war between Chris and Evan over the use of Simonla Rosechu. Evan had wanted Simonla pulled out of the comics ASAP, but Chris, being [[Ego|Chris]], refused. When Evan told Chris to kill Simonla, Chris refused, stating that it [[Chris and reality|would upset Wild Sonichu]]<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>. This war of words would culminate in Evan getting the CWCipedia shut down, forcing Chris to either swallow his pride or start hunting down a new web server. Chris, lazy fuck that he is, chose the former for the benefit of mankind.

On 25 February 2010, Chris revised those pages, revealing without a doubt that it was Evan, Sean, Mao and Alec who killed Simonla and viciously slaying the four of them. The Asperpedia Four responded by giving control of the CWCipedia ads back to [[Jack Thaddeus]], who proceeded immediately to renew his campaign to flood Chris's website with [[homo]] [[pickles]].

===Depiction of the Asperpedia Four===
As #10 took months to complete, Chris added content to respond to criticism of the parts he had finished. For example, in one of the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|phone calls]] with Alec Benson Leary, Alec took exception to the way Chris depicted him and his characters on pages 51-70. Chris would later apologize for this on pages 86 and 87.

Upon the completion of the comic, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Alec called Chris again]] to take issue with the gruesome executions of himself, Sean, Evan and Mao.

On 1 March 2010, Chris announced via his [[Twitter]] account that he would be re-revising the end of Sonichu 10 in order to make peace with Alec and company- probably in the hope that doing so will result in Jack removing his dreadfully pornographic ads. Ultimately, Chris abandoned the Cwcipedia altogether in May.

When [[Jackie]], a girl who had no knowledge of Asperchu or anything negative about Chris, saw the trial scene, Chris's godawful art style made her assume that Chris was '''executing children'''. She would eventually nag Chris about completing the new ending to #10, if only to keep his promise to Alec.

==Revised ending version==
On 30 October 2010, at [[Jackie]]'s insistence, Chris uploaded [[Book10Replacement|a video]] in which he presented the revision to the ending that he promised to Alec 6 months earlier. Instead of being sentenced to death, the Asperpedia Four are sentenced to live in an Amish community for the rest of their lives, where they're brainwashed into becoming double entendre-spewing retards. Jason Kendrick Howell is revealed to have died in a car crash, and Kathleen Nicole Wallace is put in a maximum security prison for smoking pot.

However, Jackie asked Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 19]]</ref> to make a different kind of comic altogether, where Mayor Chris has a parade of forgiveness and understanding in CWCville, acknowledging Alec's helpful intentions. She made this request due to an earlier chat where Chris had said he's forgiven Alec, and she wanted this comic to show that Chris stands by his words. However, Chris failed to deliver the comic exactly as requested, and admitted to Jackie that this was due to his ongoing hatred of Alec's [[homos|homosexuality]], [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]] and [[JERKS|JERKness]], completely missing the point of the exercise, even when Jackie was very clear in explaining ''why'' she wanted the pages to be redone.

Chris later revised his plans<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 21]]</ref> for the remake: The Asperpedia Four would be found not guilty, Chris would give shoutouts to Cwcipedia admins, and then Calvin and Dee^2 would take the four into their custody for the parade. For the parade, they would be displayed on two floats: Mao and Evan would be on a float together, branded as "busted Cyber-Bullies/Trolls", while Alec and Sean woul be "promoted as the next Dark Humor Comic Authors". So despite being found "not guilty", the parade seems more like a Roman triumph in Chris's honor, with his captured enemies included as an example of his glory. After all that, the Asperpedia Four would then go to the Amish commune of their own volition and start new lives there with their relatives.

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]
*[[Asperchu]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_1 Sonichu #10]
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10 Preview]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions] 

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]
[[Category: Asperchu Saga]]

Magical Man Potion

2011-02-01T11:31:04Z

Shock Waves: fix

'''Magical Man Potion''' is a video released 24 [[February 2010]]. In it, Chris acts out a skit in which he is a mad scientist creating a [[April 16 Fetish Vids#Fanta:_Semen_Flavor|vile potion]] that transforms him into a different person, who is portrayed by a [[Magical Man|mysterious guest]] visiting his home. Whether the concept was that the potion makes Chris more handsome, or if it's simply that being anybody but Chris is automatically an improvement, is unclear. That a plotline in ''[[Asperchu]]'' involving similar themes emerged shortly after this video was made is certainly no coincidence.

It should be stated without a doubt that Chris ripped the concept straight out of [[wikipedia:Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde|''Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde'']], though considering his (lack of) knowledge of [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|Scottish]] literature, he most likely got it indirectly, possibly from [[Things Chris has ripped off|some cartoon]] making a reference. It's possible the concept was ripped from [[wikipedia:The Nutty Professor|''The Nutty Professor'']] (probably the Jerry Lewis version, not [[Wikipedia:Eddie Murphy|the one]] with [[niggos]]), particularly the comment on the length the concoctions effects last. For his part, the man playing Chris's ''bête noire'' quotes from [[Wikipedia:Beetlejuice|Beetlejuice]].

This video is notable in that it is the first time a person not related to Chris has appeared in one of his videos. Previously the only known humans/animals who have ever breached the sanctum of [[Chris's room]] during a video were [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Kitty Chandler|Kitty]]. Chris clearly could not be assed to hide his sex toys when he had company over, as the [[Plush Breasts|Plush Breasts of Fail]] once again make an appearance.

Chris appears [[Chris and health|thinner]] than usual in this video as the camera was set to [[Wikipedia:Aspect_ratio_(image)#16:9_standard|the 16:9 widescreen format]], but the video was squished into [[Wikipedia:Aspect_ratio_(image)#4:3 standard|4:3]] at some point prior to upload.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Magical Man Potion
| image = {{#ev:youtube|h-p5WRN0-f4}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 24 [[February 2010]]
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{Crazy}} Crazy, {{Comedy}} Comedy
| Shirt = [[image:Orangeshirt.png]] Orange
| Saga = N/A
| previous = [[Christian Love Day (video)]]
| next = [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans]]
}} </center>

{{quote|I wonder where a guy like me could go to get a little action?}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris mixes various liquids together through the first part of this video. There are quite a few jump cuts as he mixes his "concoction".'']

'''Chris:''' Mhaaha haah hah hah ha ha [''camera skip''] ha hah aha ahah. We are going to make a concoction today uh uh uh ababenerch and a little [[Yawning Squirtle|squ-wirt]],... let's mix'er well AH AH HA ha ha HA. Furry.

[''Chris drinks the concoction'']

'''Chris:''' It's not bad.

[''Chris makes a series of gasping and coughing noises, posing dramatically all the while, before ducking behind a table. There is a camera transition, and an unknown man wearing the [[Asperchu medallion]] emerges.'']

'''Unknown:''' WhoAh wow that's... not bad actually. Feeling pretty good, feeling a little anxious, frisky. I wonder where a guy like me could go to get a little action? You know... I betcha I know I just... Ahhrrr, gotta work... on-

[''The unknown man makes a series of coughing and gagging noises, before ducking down once again. There is another camera transition, and Chris emerges.'']

'''Chris:''' Urhh urrhggg ahh. I need to work on the time length. To be continuuuued!

==See also==
*[[Fanta|Man Potion]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Christian Love Day (video)]]|nextlink=[[PS3 Tutorial for my fans]]|}}

{{videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, February 2010| 2010-02-24]]

The Rape of Ivy

2011-01-25T13:34:59Z

Shock Waves: Redirected page to For My Sweetest Ivy

#REDIRECT [[For My Sweetest Ivy]]