CWCki - User contributions [en]

John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue

2011-08-04T00:45:07Z

Shogun: /* John Schroeder */ stop speculating

{{Honest}}

{{quote|Featuring....[[Chris and English|HEWLY]] ANIMATED SCENES|Back cover}}
[[Image:0730-MeganAndJohn.JPG|thumb|You would play as the guy on the right.]]
'''''John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue''''' is another one of [[Chris]]'s shitty game ideas.

==John Schroeder==
John is Megan's brother whom Chris originally thought was her boyfriend. Not much is known about John, other than that he is [[Obesity|overweight]], shares similar interests with his sister and seemingly has an epicanthic fold, making him appear to be [[Slow in the minds|retarded]]. However, emails seem to imply that John is of regular intelligence. [[Mimms]] said that ''"Megan's brother isnt autistic, but he is kinda dumb."''<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref> Like Megan, his current whereabouts are unknown.

==John's Custom Gundam==
In an obvious bid for some [[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldier]] [[China]], Chris thought he'd ingratiate himself with Megan by casting her brother in one of his crappy games. This one manages to work in elements from his [[Sonichu]] comic series and the mecha [[anime]] franchise ''Mobile Suit Gundam''. Not much is known about the game, like the rest of Chris's ideas, beyond the mock cover. Interestingly, this piece (according to the "copyright" data) was produced sometime in [[2008]], which suggests that it pre-dates the drama over Megan's discovery of [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]] but was created long after Megan told Chris that [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|he was creeping her out]] by casting her in his comics.

The most notable aspect of this game is that someone other than Chris or Sonichu is the protagonist. Instead, it's John Schroeder, Megan's brother. The picture states that John is to pilot a custom-built Gundam (made from [[Lego]] or [[Pixelblocks]], perhaps) to rescue Megan from [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and her "overgrown army", the [[Jerkops]], [[Dr. Eggman]], and some random units from the original anime series antagonists, the Principality of Zeon (most likely Zaku spam).

The title of the game is slightly odd, considering the back cover states it's ''John'' who's rescuing the ''sister''; nothing indicates that John would have [[homos|sisterly tendencies]]. Or, one could just assume [[Chris and English|these kinds of weird linguistic slip-ups are to be expected]].

The reverse side of the box makes reference to several "features":
*Hi-Res 3D Graphics!
*HEWLY animated scenes!
*[[Chris and his Ego|Earn the right]] to play Chris-chan's Side of The Story! (because Chris refuses to create a game where he isn't featured)
*Help John Schroeder be a darn good [[Wikipedia:Big Brother (Nineteen Eighty-Four)|Big Brother]]!

It is also set to feature Chris and Megan's voices (an unlikely prospect now, given the events surrounding ShecameforCWC.jpg).

It is more than likely that Chris copied most of this off from the cover to the PS2 game ''[[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo|Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo]]'', which is part of his [[List of Chris's games|game collection]], but it's currently unknown at this time.

The game's cover indicates that it is rated T for Teen, suggesting that does not feature the same kind of HONEST content as ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''.

The item number on the box is [[Wikipedia:867-5309/Jenny|8675309]], referencing the song by Tommy Tutone and showing once again that Chris can't go for five seconds without [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping something off]].

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:324-1-JohnsGundamFront.jpg
Image:324-2-JohnsGundamBack.jpg
Image:324-3-JohnsGundamPS2.jpg
Image:324-4-JohnsGundamLable.jpg
</gallery>

==See also:==
*[[Megan]]

==References:==
<references/>

{{Stub}}
[[Category:Video games created by Chris]]

{{MeganSaga}}

Chris's resume

2011-07-19T10:16:48Z

Shogun: /* Analysis */

<div style="float: right;">
__TOC__
</div>
On 09 [[September 2009]], '''Chris's resume''' finally surfaced onto the Internet, through the effort of a troll with a friend who worked in an HR department.

== Analysis ==

As is to be expected, for someone with [[Chris and art|no discernible skills]] and extremely limited work experience, the resume is less than impressive. No less than three times Chris pads his resume by claiming his "volunteer work" for Pokémon league events at [[The Game Place]] and other locations as actual work experience (when in reality he had no authority, and in fact was himself closely monitored by the actual employees).

Chris's resume includes a few points where he talks about his desire to work for a comics publisher, such as DC or Archie. However, it's unlikely that Chris has sent any work or a resume to either company, likely simply uploading it to Monster and waiting for others to contact him (not unlike his [[attraction sign]]). He is seemingly unaware or unwilling to accept that the industry standard for a professional graphic designer (working for DC or Archie) is not only a well-organized portfolio demonstrating samples of his work but also a bachelor's degree in Graphic Design and demonstrated proficiency in accepted design software such as Adobe Creative Suite. Non-art work experience is rarely considered unless it is mentioned as an essential part of the job description.

His "quick construction skills from scratch" (especially considering that he's referring to constructing decks in a children's card game) would mean nothing in interviewing for the very job he seeks to obtain. Indeed it would be of no interest any other potential employer, for that matter.

Furthermore, while the field for "job objectives" offers three lines for a succinct answer, Chris, typical of his [[CWCipedia|rambling style]], attaches three extra ''pages'' of useless junk, thus ensuring that any potential employer will not make any efforts to read the entire resume.

= The resume =

The following is Chris's complete resume, as it is posted on the popular resume website Monster.com, with only minor edits for wiki styling.

==Contact Info==

"[[Christopher's name change|Christopher]]" [[Christian Weston Chandler]] 
[[14 Branchland Court|14 Branchland Ct.]], [[Ruckersville, VA]] 22968-9545 
Home: 434-990-0198
Cell: 434-760-0848 
[[CWCipedia|Cwcipedia]]/CWC’s Sonichu and Rosechu Site! 
[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page]

==Objectives==

I wish to make my [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] franchise Official, with getting me paper published at [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie]], [[Wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], [[Wikipedia:DC Comics|DC]] or [[Wikipedia:Dark Horse Comics|Dark Horse Comics]], with continuing work as Comic Book Artist and Story Creator/Editor, good pay, eventual Official Sonichu and Rosechu Merchandise that I, personally, can officially sign-off on and further enforce my nine-year-old copyright with a more peaceful future. (See attached pages for more info).

==Experience==
''[Note: for some reason, Chris listed each experience with an "Experience" heading. It is unknown why Chris did this, but for the sake of clarity, all job experience is collated into one heading.]''

Date of Employment: March 17, [[2000]] – Current 
(Self) C.W.C. Comics 
Ruckersville, VA 

Job Title

* Primary Duties: Drawing, writing, coloring and story-telling the continuing adventures of Sonichu, Rosechu and myself from life, creating from scratch and setting up the first original Sonichu Site, [[CWC’s Sonichu Site]], as well as its sibling sites.
* Functional Skills: [[Chris and art|Great hand-drawing skills]], [[Chris and writing|story-telling and editing]], building design from Computer Aided Drafting and Design ([[CADD]]), quick touch-typing skills, great Photoshop experiences, good HTML skills.
* Transferable Skills: All of the above.

Date of Employment: June, [[2003]] – September, 2003 
[[Cutco]] Cutlery 
[[Charlottesville, VA]] 

Job Title

* Primary Duties: Salesman of their fine [[Pocket knife|cutlery]] with the patented double-d edges.
* Functional Skills: Good people/social skills, great memorization of the salesman routine (won my boss over greatly with that memorizing).
* Transferable Skills: Good people/social skills, memorizing and swift learning.

Date of Employment: August, [[2001]] – [[Lies|October, 2001]]<ref>In the [[Father Call]], Chris tells Kacey's Father that on September 11th he was shopping with his mother because he had ''just'' been fired from Wendy's.</ref> 
[[Wendy's|Wendys]]''[sic]'' Restaurant 
Ruckersville, VA 

Job Title

* Primary Duties: Cleaning trays, tables and carpet/tile flooring, keeping the place neat and serving the customers with kind, understanding help.
* Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills.
* Transferable Skills: All of the above.

Date of Employment: March, [[1998]] ''[sic]''<ref>The Pokémon trading card game wasn't released in North America until December 1998, and its official league wasn't founded until the following year.</ref> – June, [[2000]] 
[[Wikipedia:Books-a-Million|Books-a-Million]] 
[[Wikipedia:Midlothian,_VA|Midlothian, VA]] 

Job Title

* Primary Duties: I volunteered to help out as the Gym Leader’s Assistant for the Pok’emon Trading Card Game league. I have taught many children how to play the game with care and respect, constructed their 60-card decks from their scattered collection with sound thought and speed skimming skills. I also [[Pedofork|watched over the children]] as I have played with them in the Pok’emon Trading Card Game.
* Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills, quick construction skills from scratch, speed thinking.
* Transferable Skills: All of the above.

Date of Employment: June, 2000 – June, [[2002]] 
Toys “R” Us 
Charlottesville, VA 

Job Title

* Primary Duties: I volunteered to help out as the Gym Leader’s Assistant for the Pok’emon Trading Card Game league. I have taught many children how to play the game with care and respect, constructed their 60-card decks from their scattered collection with sound thought and speed skimming skills. I also watched over the children as I have played with them in the Pok’emon Trading Card Game.
* Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills, quick construction skills from scratch, speed thinking.
* Transferable Skills: All of the above.

Date of Employment: June, 2002 – June, [[2007]] 
[[The GAMe PLACe|The (Game & Hobby) Place]] 
Charlottesville, VA 

Job Title

* Primary Duties: I volunteered to help out as the Gym Leader’s Assistant for the Pok’emon Trading Card Game league. I have taught many children how to play the game with care and respect, constructed their 60-card decks from their scattered collection with sound thought and speed skimming skills. I also watched over the children as I have played with them in the Pok’emon Trading Card Game.
* Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills, quick construction skills from scratch, speed thinking.
* Transferable Skills: All of the above.

==School Experience==

===Professional Education===

Dates of Attendance: 9/1/1996 to 6/15/2000
[[Manchester High School]]
Chesterfield County, Virginia

* High School Diploma with [[Honor Roll]] Grades.
* Honor Roll Star Pin awarded at Graduation.
* Certificate for serving on the varsity basketball team during my freshman year.

===Academic Education===

Dates of Attendance: August, 2000 to 6/1/2006
[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
Charlottesville, Virginia

* Made the Dean’s List with Honor Roll Grades
* Computer Aided Drafting and Design, CADD, Associates Degree
* Computer Aided Drafting and Design, CADD, Career Studies Certificate

==References==

Susan Hannifan

* PVCC Guidance Counsoler
* 501 College Dr. Charlottesville, VA 22902
* 434-961-5281
* shannifan@pvcc.edu

Reverend Elizabeth Foss

* Pastor of [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]
* 1901 Thomson Rd. Charlottesville, VA 22903
* 434-296-6976
* elizabethfoss22@earthlink.net

[[Rocky|Rocky Shoemaker]]

* Pastoral Counsoler
* 1901 Thomson Rd. Charlottesville, VA 22903
* 434-966-9636
* revrocky48@gmail.com

Tony Wayne

* Physics Teacher at Albemarle High School/Volunteer Pok’emon TCG League Gym Leader
* 2275 Hydraulic Rd. Charlottesville, VA 22901
* 434-975-9300 Ext. 60265
* vastphysics@comcast.net

==Job Objective, Full Story==

I, [[Christian Weston Chandler]], Birth name: [[Christopher]], born on February 24, [[1982]] in [[Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]], am an artist with vast experiences in multiple art classes with multiple media throughout my whole lifetime from Green County Primary School to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Piedmont Virginia Community Collge]], with a diploma from [[Manchester High School]] and a degree and certificate in [[Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] (CADD) from PVCC.

Since the inspiration and conception of [[Sonichu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric-Hedgehog Pok’emon]] on March 17, [[2000]], I have grown further in his stories, plots and adventures in a series of hand-drawn and computer-edited comic books. I also have had and passed two HTML classes, and created from notepad scratch, [[CWC's Pokésite 2|CWC’s Pok’eSite 2!, El Pok’eSite de R.W.C.]] ([[Ricardo]] Weston Chandler was my Spanish nickname given to me during my two years of Spanish in Manchester High), and most importantly, the First and Original website dedicated to Sonichu, Rosechu and their adventures, [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|CWC’s Sonichu Site]].

I was also noted twice later in the periodicals of [[Nintendo Power]] magazine and PVCC’s The Forum for being the original creator of Sonichu and all. (See Periodical References below)

With the Sonichu [[Chris and English#Spelling|Stie]] originally located at http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm, it stayed online from about [[2000]] until early [[2009]], whereas my Sonichu and Rosechu fanbase has grown massively over the years; there were also internet bullies and [[trolls]]. And the trolls hacked into and compromised my original Tripod webhosting account. I’ve had to pull the plug on the Tripod account and move on to another webhosting site. The second webhosting account suffered the same fate as the first, and then I moved to GoDaddy. It got hacked too, and so I pulled the plug on all my websites late May, 2009. I stayed off for about two months, then a gal-pal of mine about that time set up for me a start of what is now the New Original CWC’s Sonichu and Rosechu Site; the wikipedia-styled [[Cwcipedia]] at http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page. As I have done on the previous site, I have re-uploaded my Sonichu comic pages, and I am steadily expanding further with more stories and character bio pages.

I would like to be paper-published with a comic book company like Archie, Marvel, DC or Dark Horse comics, complete with Official Sonichu and Rosechu Merchandise I can personally sign-off on to follow for my Worldwide [[Fanbase]].

Accept no imposturous substitutes who claim to be me or have any rights on my Sonichu and Rosechu stuff; I stand strong with my continued use of the Copyright © symbol on each of all my books and original singular art pieces and the date of creation of March 17, 2000. I have eye-witnesses at Manchester High of Sonichu’s conception and creation on that date. It also bothers me that the trolls are even selling bootleg copies of my Life DVD, [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Christian Weston Chandler. Yep…I’m On T.V.]], which was originally intent solely for family and close friend distribution. Trust one of the trolls to snag a copy and rip the vieos from the six-hour DVD-R.

I became famous without having to leave my house or go out-of-state or city.

After recent realization, on about July 17, [[2009]], of what I want to do, I wish to make it all official; get me paper-published with a comic book company like [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie]], [[Wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], [[Wikipedia:DC Comics|DC]] or [[Wikipedia:Dark Horse Comics|Dark Horse comics]], with continuing work as a comic book artist and story creator/editor, good pay, eventual official Sonichu and Rosechu merchandise that I can personally and officially sign-off on and further enforce my nine-year-old copyright with a more peaceful future.

“Christopher” Christian Weston Chandler, August 11, 2009

© March 17, 2000 by “Christopher” Christian Weston Chandler.

==Periodical References==

* ''Nintendo Power'' – Volume 179, May 2004, Page 89 – [[Nintendo Power Magazine#The Documentary|Sonichu’s Cwcville Documentary]]
* Piedmont Virginia Community College’s ''The Forum'' – Volume 1, No. 13, 26 April 2004 – Meet Sonichu – Student Featured in Nintendo Power – By Kari Mitchell, The Forum Assistant Editor.

==Chris's Resume Writing Worksheet==
<gallery>
Image:scan.jpg|The concept of "Most recent" escapes Chris.
Image:scan0001.jpg|Notice how he can't keep himself from including Sonichu in EVERYTHING.
Image:scan0002.jpg|His only references are a guidance counselor that he had almost a decade ago and two pastors at his church.
Image:scan0003.jpg|Largely the same as the other pages except he whines about his websites getting hacked.
Image:scan0004.jpg|Even his shitty DVD is worth mentioning apparently.
Image:scan0005.jpg|He wants to put the dang, dirty trolls to rest.
</gallery>

==Downloads==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?gm5diqmjqjg Original resume]

==Notes==
<references/>

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Wendy's

2011-07-19T10:13:57Z

Shogun: /* Dismissal */

[[Image:Wendy's logo.png|120px|center]]
[[Image:Chris Wendy's.jpg|thumb|250px|The branch of Wendy's at which Chris worked.]]

'''Wendy's''' is an [[America]]n [[Obesity|fast food]] chain that employed Chris briefly until he got fired. Chris's job primarily consisted of custodial duties instead of preparing food.

Chris has contradicted himself at various times about exactly when he worked there. He claimed in his [[Chris's resume|resumé]] that he worked there from August to October [[2001]], but he told [[Kacey]]'s father that he had already been fired before 11 September.<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> Chris likely worked at Wendy's for a month and a half, working about 20-30 hours a week for what was probably minimum wage.

==Chris the employee==
Chris's own accounts of his employment paint him as a stubborn and difficult employee. In [[2009]], Chris was asked about his time at Wendy's several times after the date with [[Emily]]. Chris believed his supervisor didn't think very highly of him for reasons upon which we can only speculate. He mentioned a time involving him getting his uniform dirty and simply continuing to wear it after trying to wash it in the bathroom sink, not taking into account the [[Chris and health#Hygiene|usual sanitation standards]] of most fast food restaurants and also not realizing he could get another, clean shirt from the supply room.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

In a conversation with [[Kacey]]'s father, Chris mentioned "emotional differences" as the reason for his termination, and claimed that the manager had a "spike on his shoulder" against him. It's not known what these differences were, although they were almost certainly minor differences of opinion over punctuality and performing the job duties for which he was hired.<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

A chat with [[Jackie]] revealed more information about Chris's time at Wendy's. Chris talked about how a female co-worker was mean-spirited and gave him "bad times with criticisms, insults and whatnot." In reality, this could have been a co-worker simply trying to give Chris some constructive criticism. In the same chat, Chris also admitted that he would take frequent breaks after washing the tables and taking out the trash, not realizing that there was other stuff for him to do.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 4|Jackie Chat #4]]</ref>

==Dismissal==
The circumstances of Chris's firing are unclear, as Chris has given vague and contradictory answers about the cause of his dismissal. The last straw appears to have been when Chris scared a small boy in the restaurant. His family were about to leave, Chris helped them by giving them their bags and a top for their baked potato boat,<ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]]</ref> but then Chris performed his terrifying [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and the child cried. Chris claims that this did not scare the child - he was just tired.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]] - "No, not really scary, you see he was tired..."</ref><ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]] - "But I did not make the child cry, the child was already- was just tired."</ref>

In a later account, he denied performing the voice when talking to [[Jackie]],<ref>[[Jackie Chat 4|Jackie Chat #4]] - "he got his opportunity one night after watching a family with a tired child crying; I did nothing to cause him to cry, he WAS tired. And I offered to get a top for their potato so they could take it with them. [...] the manager thought I had done my Donald Duck voice for the child and made him cry, which was not the case.</ref> even though he had admitted to it in previous accounts.<ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]] - Troll: "Well, we heard that, uh, you... We've heard so many things, like you helped a small child and you did a Donald Duck impersonation and you scared the child." Chris: "Mmm... Also, that- Also, that is correct, but I did not scare the child."</ref><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

At Wendy's, Chris received the only money he has ever actually earned in his life — a sum likely consisting of about $500, or nineteen days' [[tugboat]].

==See also==
* [[Cutco]] - Chris's only other employer.
* [[Chris's resume]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&q=&vps=9&jsv=151e&sll=38.231303,-78.37095&sspn=0.005158,0.019312&ie=UTF8&geocode=FYRbRwIdkChU-w&split=0 Google Maps Location]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Jobs]]

Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares

2011-04-14T12:19:39Z

Shogun: /* The story */

[[Image:424-CWC&SNHLifeShares.jpg|thumb|right|Dammit Chris, you have to add Sonichu to EVERYTHING.]]

'''Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares''' was produced when [[Chris]] was [[2003|twenty-one years old]] for [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]'s twenty-first birthday as a present. Yes, he drew this when he was twenty-one, not seven.

This sheds light on his relationship with Sarah and provides some insight into Chris's early version of the ''Sonichu'' canon, with himself represented by [[Sonichu]], Sarah Hammer by [[Rosechu]], and [[Wes Iseli]] by [[Black Sonichu]].

In typical Chris fashion, it is highly [[Chris and his ego|self-centered]], focusing mainly on his [[autism]], his [[love quest]] and how everything that goes wrong in his life is not his fault. Despite being drawn to commemorate her life so far, Sarah is only mentioned when she occasionally crosses paths with Chris and is even then portrayed as what Chris sees as a [[Women's rights|typical female]], which is unlikely to be what Sarah was like anyway. Presumably, Sarah was not pleased to receive a booklet full of everything Chris cannot shut up about.

The document mostly reads like Chris was attempting to win Sarah's affections by reminding them of the times they shared together, as well as portraying them as [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], boyfriend and girlfriend. Chris doesn't help matters along by making repeated passive-aggressive references to Sarah playing [[trolls|tricks]] on him, or by openly stating that her boyfriend [[Wes Iseli]] is "evil." There is no mention of any nice things that Sarah has done for Chris, if there ever were any (inspiring the supposition that Sarah was actually a bully that Chris mistook for a [[gal-pal]]).

Chris also seems to be under the impression that [[Wikipedia:Brad Pitt|Brad Pitt]] is a pop music star, thus reinforcing the assumption that he does not leave his room. He also (perhaps unintentionally) insults Sarah's mom by portraying her as a [[Vamprosa|vampire]].

==The story==

[[Image:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg|thumb|left|150px]][[Image:426-CWCSHFP2.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]

'''L'''ong ago, in the year [[1982]], two soon-to-be good friends were born:

February 24, 1982 - Pisces (Fish) - '''Christopher Weston Chandler'''
+
October 13, 1982 - Libra (Balance) - '''Sarah Hammer'''

Born in the same year, but not in the same city, these "young ins" were [[Autism|unique]], [[Pedofork|cute little children]].

Three years later, Sarah and her family moved in next door to Christopher, and later on, the two sets of parents met each other to become friends. And Chris and Sarah found each other. [[Lil' Chris|Little Chris]] was a [[Chris and English|high-functionally]] autistic child, without the capability of talking for a few years and socialization. But, Sarah was a spunky gal who pulled him out of the house to play.
{{-}}

===Memories of childhood===

[[Image:427-CWCSHFP3.jpg|thumb|left|150px]][[Image:428-CWCSNHP4.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Thank you, sir. That's all right, Chris. (Sigh) Sarah's gonna get punished for this. >:(]]

Memories of what was in Sarah's backyard, a quaint swing set, with a slide, two single swings, and a 2-player swing. Speed was the essence on the swing or slide, as well as a fun game of hide-&-seek. Sarah usually got away to the front-porch/home-base, and she got little Chris.

One time, Sarah told Chris that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] was hiding under her house; [[Naive|he believed it]]. So Chris crawled under her house, and found cobwebs, dirt and many bugs, but no ghost. And Sarah locked him in ([[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|children do the silliest things]]). Chris was sad and scared. About half an hour (or earlier) later, her father, James, rescued the poor lad from a very dark + scary place.
{{-}}

[[Image:429-CWCSNHP5.jpg|thumb|left|150px]][[Image:430-CWCSNHP6.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
Flowers between friends is a sweet thing. Sarah exposed Chris to a rather "tasty" flower, the [[Wikipedia:Honeysuckle|Honeysuckle]]. She thought, and said, that if you put the upper thing [[Recycling|in your mouth]], it would taste like honey. But, of course the parents corrected both children about its dangers.

Of course, in a neighborhood, there is usually more than one family; that means more children to play with. There were Christy, Amy, Ginger, and Jennifer. There were a few other boys as well, but they sadly moved away and were [[Metal Sonichu|forgotten]]. Many fun playtimes were had between these four girls, Sarah, and Chris. Most of the time, they all played [[Duck]], [[Duck]], [[Sex toys|Goose]].
{{-}}

[[Image:431-CWCSNHP7.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]
School days are usually the Golden Rule Days, as Sarah and Chris both attended the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County Schools]]. For Chris, he encountered [[Bruce Johnson|many discoveries there]], such as a pregnant office assistant, [[rape|fun in a barrell]], [[Niggos|children of other cultures]], and the fundamentals of learning + [[Dating Education|education]]. Most of the same was exposed to Sarah as well. They both always enjoyed lunchtime, ice cream, and fun in the playground.

When it comes to the Elementary School, we'll make an exception to the "Golden Rule Days," as Chris didn't have too much fun there. In a nutshell, the faculty and School Boards did not know how to handle an autistic child. So chaos ensued as [[Chris and his ego#Persecution Complex|troublesome abuse was caused by the faculty to the poor boy]]. Thus, to keep from further trouble with Greene County Schools, Chris had to leave and move to [[Chesterfield County]]. And Chris and Sarah's friendship was put on hold. (He moved Sept. [[1993]])
{{-}}

===Over the Years===
[[Image:432CWCSNHP8.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
[[Fail|As far as this Narrator Knows]], this is how each friend grew up:

'''Christopher'''

* Because of a conducting Bear at [[Regency Square Mall]], he had his [[Christopher's name change|name changed]] to *Christian*
* He went to [[Providence Middle]], then to [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]], and graduated with [[Honor Roll]] all the way.
* Made many new friends.
* [[Sonichu]] + gang were first inspired at [[Manchester High School|M.H.S.]]
* [[Pokémon]] became the raging fad for him
* [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] became his major hero.
* The [[Naïve|youngness in his heart]] lasted the many years.
* He has <s>also</s> also made a [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|few websites]] that are on the internet.
* He took 2 years of [[Spanish]] (Español) in M.H.S. (¡Hola, [[Ricardo]]!)
{{-}}

[[Image:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg|thumb|right|150px|AAAHH!! this guy's evil!]]
'''Sarah'''

* She graduated from High School as well.
* She found a boyfriend named [[Wes Iseli]] (he's a [[Magi-Chan|magician]])
* She developed her interests in [[Chris and music|Pop music]] and other fun things.
* She grew up into a spittin' image of [[Britney Spears]] =)
* She started job(s) at a place or two.
* She made many more [[Friend zone|friends]].
* She's still a [[semen|spunky]] gal.
* She got a Driver's License + [[Son-Chu|a car]].
{{-}}

===The Return of Chris===
[[Image:434-CWCSNHP10.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]
Christian moved back to [[Ruckersville]], June, [[2000]], and he enrolled into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. When Christian met the new & improved Sarah, he was surprised in how much she had changed over the years. But during his years at P.V.C.C., he was not able to interact with Sarah as much as he used to, because she was [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|living with her boyfriend]]. And thus, because he could not socialize as well as before, Christian did not meet as many friends at P.V.C.C., as compared to Manchester High. And so, he became lonesome. His [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|21st Birthday wasn't so hot either]].
{{-}}

===The Girl Next Door, Today===
[[Image:435-CWCSNHP11.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]
[[Image:436-CWCSNHP12.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
As of sometime before July, 2000, Sarah has been living with her boyfriend, Wes Iseli, a magician who does parties. Other than that, she works at the [[University of Virginia]]'s hospital where she checks the babies' hearing. Sarah has many [[Gal-Pals|female companions]], with whom she spends fun times with, such as trips to the mall, beach, and other places. Sarah also enjoys seeing fun movies and listening to pop stars, such as [[Wikipedia:Brad Pitt|Brad Pitt]], [[Wikipedia:N*Sync|N*Sync]] and the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]]. So, she is getting along very well.
{{-}}

===What will Come?===
[[Image:437-CWCSNHP13.jpg|thumb|left|150px|"Huh?!"]]
[[Image:438-CWCSNHP14.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
So, here it is, October 13, 2003, and what is to be expected in the future?
* A [[Sonichu (comic)|clash of the Sonichus?]]
* Christian getting [[Love Quest|paired with a girlfriend]]?

<nowiki>*Who Knows?*</nowiki>

But for now, let's celebrate...

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY to Sarah!!

The End?

{{-}}

==Credits==

[[Image:439-CWCSNHP15.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
[[Image:440-CWCSNHP16.jpg|thumb|right|150px|P.S. Please do me.]]
'''Cast'''
* Young Christopher
:* [[Sonee]]
* Young Sarah
:* [[Rosey]]
* Adult Christian
:* [[Sonichu]]
* Adult Sarah
:* [[Rosechu]]

'''Narrator, Story, Art, etc...''' 
Christian Chandler

'''Sources''' 
Christian Chandler 
[[Snorlax|Barbara Chandler]] 
[[Bob Chandler|Robert Chandler]] 
James Hammer 
Cynthia Hammer 

'''Surprised ^Birthday Girl''' 
<nowiki>*Sarah Hammer*</nowiki>

<nowiki>*</nowiki> All Sonichu material is [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] © March, [[2000]].
Email: ItsameCWC@aol.com

<nowiki>*</nowiki> This has been a Christian Chandler/Sonichu [[Fail|Production]].

[[CWC's Sonichu Site!]] http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm

A special Note from Christian to Sarah:

"I hope that we can [[Hanky-Panky|hang together]] some time. But for now & forever, we will always be [[Friend zone|good friends]]!!"

An original by Christian W. Chandler.

October 13, [[2003]] (Done on July 21, 2003)

{{Writings}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]][[Category: Non-fiction]]

Armoraxe

2011-03-24T04:16:57Z

Shogun: /* Original Character */

[[Image:ArmoraxeBot.jpg|thumb]]

'''Armoraxe''' is one of Chris's ripped off [[Transformers]], designed after Soundwave of ''Transformers Animated''.

==Original Character==
His vehicle form is that of a minivan, perhaps more specifically a [[Wikipedia:Scion xB|Scion xB]]. In its robot form, it carries a boombox on its shoulders and wields a guitar. Due to Chris's lack of talent, it is difficult to discern if his face is on the boombox itself or where he has a separate head that is in front of it. Chris describes him as being a "real [[Guitar Hero]]". He apparently attacks by playing his guitar, which can transform into a plasma rifle. According to Chris, "when he Plays That Beat, HE WAILS!!!", whatever the hell that means.

In yet another example out of thousands that show how shitty Chris's comic is, when Chris took down the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] through the power of Rock, Chris showed up in [[Son-Chu]] instead of Armoraxe, and Son-Chu turned into a mobile rock stage. He didn't bring along Armoraxe at all. Armoraxe's entire ''raison d'être'' is that he's a walking talking robotic sound system with a guitar, and the one fucking time he could have been at all useful, Chris chose to Mary Sue his shitwagon.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:ArmoraxeVehicle.jpg
Image:ArmorWave.jpg|We report, you decide...
</gallery></center>

==See Also==
{{CWCipedia}}
*[[Chris and tracing]]
*[[Transformers]]

[[Category:Transformers]]

Lucas

2011-03-08T04:28:44Z

Shogun: Stop adding predictons. Stop outright insulting people.

[[Image:lucasmimms.jpg|thumb|right|Lucas and [[Mimms]] hanging out.]]

'''Lucas''' is one of the frequent patrons of [[The GAMe PLACe]].

As seen in the GAMe PLACe e-mails{{cite}}, after failing to get any information from [[Daniel Mimms]], [[Chris]] turned his suspicions towards this guy, finally confronting him at the ''[[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Brawl|Super Smash Bros. Brawl]]'' GameStop midnight launch.{{cite}}

Christian decided for the subtle approach to indicate he knew Lucas was responsible with the now infamous [[CWC-ism]]: "Well, that's something new you didn't know about 'be-4' about this 'Chan.'"{{cite}} (Please note: Chris's definition of subtlety is the equivalent of smashing someone in the face with a brick.)

{{quote|Thus, my family came in and we found that [[Mimms]] had the camera in question, but he did not take the picture. Then we've suspected Lucas, but we did not question him at the time. But a more obvious expression reply was found by myself, when Saturday March 8, [[2008]], at the Gamestop in [[Wikipedia:Forest Lakes, Chesapeake, Virginia|Forest Lakes]], the Midnight release event of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Mimms and I were watching a pair of tournament players brawling; one was playing Donkey Kong. So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about "be-4" about this "Chan". I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing."|Chris, 13 March 2008}}

==See also==
*[[Daniel Mimms]]
*[[Michael Snyder]]
*[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]

{{Template:Stub}}

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}

[[Category:People]]
[[Category: ED Saga]]

User:Shogun

2011-03-04T10:00:42Z

Shogun:

<center>{{ Template:Asian}}</center>

<center>[[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]]</center>

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!! HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!! HNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<center>[[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]]</center>

Greene County Conspiracy

2011-03-04T09:51:15Z

Shogun: /* Analysis */ I hate how the part about rebuttling against Chris's delusion was very cluttered. I made it much easier to understand.

'''100_2178.MOV''' is a 8 [[May 2010]] video in which [[Chris]], lonely and lost at the bottom of a depression-well, reflects on the [[FAIL|state]] of his life.

==Analysis==

Chris made this video after coming home alone from an EXTREME ACTION SPORTS show to which he had won four tickets from a radio call-in contest. As he could not find anyone else to go with him, even after he called the members of his Church's Young Adult Social Group, he was forced to scalp the tickets in front of the stadium and then sit alone in the bleachers beside a "lovey-dovey couple" (who probably haven't even got a [[I_Pimp_My_Ride.MOV|pimped out PS3 controller]]) while handsomer, happier, less [[autistic]] men did flips on motorcycles for the roaring crowd. This situation causes Chris to reflect introspectively on his life, or at the very least complain about the latest faults that have occurred since he and [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]] broke apart.

Chris, with his victim complex, inexplicably blames the Greene County school board (which tried to pull him out of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] when he was a child) for heading a conspiracy to keep him in his "autistic shell" — first by supposedly trying to institutionalize him for being autistic then, after many years with no interaction with him, going so far as to pay a realtor more than $18,000 <ref>A rough estimate of a realtor's fee assuming a home value of $300,000 and a commission rate of 6%. [http://www.trulia.com/property/1082709830-68-Branchland-Ct-Ruckersville-VA-22968| The average home price in the area today is about $319,000] and [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/05/11/60minutes/main2790865.shtml| a realtor's commission would be 6% of that.]</ref> to keep his [[14 Branchland Court|family's house]] in Ruckersville from selling so that his family would have to move back to a town where he had fewer friends after high school.

[[File:ThePatriots1.png|thumb|[[Metal Gear Solid|This]] is what Chris actually believes]]
He is not aware that:
*About 19 other students in the district were also autistic <ref>Assuming autism is distributed uniformly, that [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:US-autism-6-17-1996-2007.png| roughly 1%] of the population was autistic, and that there were 2,000 students in the Green County school district at the time. [http://www.localschooldirectory.com/district-schools/039/Greene-County-Public-Schools-District/VA| There are about 2,850 today.]</ref> and weren't paid special attention to by the school board
*Every member of the that board works a full-time job and many also have children. Therefore, none of them would have the motivation to [[Troll|hound]] Chris for a decade
*All his supposed friends from Chesterfield County have long since moved on with their lives, are now similarly indisposed, and would have nothing to gain by spending time with him even if all of them were neighbors
*If the board hated Chris so much, then they would have tried to expel him in the first place

Using the board as a not-so-convenient excuse to ignore the fact that he himself is the only consistent factor in his unbroken series of failures, he goes on to muse that they bribed [[Michael Snyder]] (years later again) to ban him from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. There is no "evidence" yet linking them to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the [[Jerkops]], or the 15,000 some-odd people of Greene County who somehow spontaneously decided not to be Chris's friends for no reason. Chris seems to restrain himself from [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|calling Snyder a "greedy Jew"]], stopping after "greedy". He ends the video by wishing that they, Michael Snyder, and the [[trolls]] would all go to hell for playing [[Kick the Autistic]].

Perhaps coincidentally, the video was uploaded sixteen years to the day since [[Bob]]'s case against Greene County was thrown out of court.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Greene County Conspiracy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|olN-pOClUvc}}
| stardate = 08 May 2010
| subject = {{Autism|Life}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Game Place|text}}
| shirt = {{OrangeSleeveless|text}}
| previous = [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]
| next = [[05142010]]
}}

{{quote|We were forced to move back here because of you goddamn... people who were afraid of autistic individuals.}}

===Transcription===

[''Chris sits in the dark in front of his TV, which is, shockingly, turned off. He is visible only in silhouette. A fan hums in the background.'']

This is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], alias ''Christopher'' Weston Chandler, pre [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|1990-something]]. Anyway, I-I have sent this message to all the peo- ...ple that were of the [[Greene County]] School Board... and such... during the [[1990s]]... because... Threatening to put me in a mental institution. That was pretty much why we had to run away... and move to Chesterfield County, and I had better life over there, I had a lo- I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just ''sad'' to leave, when I, after I graduated. 'Cause I had to leave all my friends. I had the good life. But we were forced to move back here.

You people of Greene County, you could not have left us, uh, left me and my family alone. You had to go and pay off the realtors, just so, this h- so that this house here could not have been sold. If it, 'cause if it had been sold, we would have been able to stay in Chesterfield County. [''[[sigh]]''] And I would have been ha- I would have had a lot- a happier life over there, than right now and how I'm feeling. If, right now, because we ha- 'cause we were forced to move back here because of you goddamn... people who were afraid of [[autistic]] individuals.

[''sigh'']

You individuals would know who you are. I wish my family and I did not have to move back here. I wish we could have stayed in Chesterfield County, 'cause I had the better life there. And we were doing we- we were doing well, but you had to drag us down! You had to make us unable to sell our house here. You had to ''force'' my family to move back here, where I was okay and I have a couple of friends, and I'm better off with... [''Voice cracks, shakes arm to gesture at room.''] '''stuff.'''

That stuff is no good if I don't have, if I don't have many friends to share it with. [''Chokes back tears.'']

And it all just went downhill. I bet, even Greene County had something to do with influencing that goddamn [[Michael Snyder]] to see f- to see any... so recourse... or... anything like that to make him pretend to have a reason to kick me out, quote-unquote "''scaaaaring'' his customers away!" [''Flips off the camera''] You goddamn, greedy... ''Snyder''!

I was at the John Paul Jones Arena earlier tonight, at the Extreme Action Sports. I had won four tickets the previous Friday, Friday of the last week, from 95.1. The few [[Trolls|friends]] I have here could not have come- could not come with me, and I could not even find anyone in the congregation to take- to go with me. 'Cause I misplaced directory for one reason. And even with the help of, uh, my pastoral counselor to get in contact with them, they did not call- none of them called me back!

And I had to sell the... tickets I had, and I had to sit there next to a... lovey-dovey couple. [''His voice begins to crack.''] Which, that was okay, you know, I was trying to be... good- I was trying to be good friend, you know... [''scratches back of head''] Sociable. [''sigh''] But still, if that was... If I had stayed in Chesterfield County, and I would- and I had a similar situation for an event there... [[Chris and reality|I would definitely have had my friends I had there]]. Moving back here, it just dragged me downhill. So I tell you what, Greene County... Because you saw fit to make- to make me and my family have to move back here, just to make me sad, and move more into my Autistic Shell: ''you did it''.

If I had stayed in Chesterfield County, I would have been a whole lot better off. I wish you would, I wish you would have let us sell our house here. We could have stayed there. I wish you had- I wish we did not have to move back to [''sigh''] I wish we did not have to move back here nearly ten years ago.

Laugh all you want, trolls! Because... I don't give a ''damn''. You're all just immature, [[naive]], condescending, soulless ''monsters''. [[Chris and hypocrisy|You don't ''care'' about others]], you only care about yourselves. You only care about getting your own laughs and kicks, because you don't h- you don't have your own social life! You [[Death threats|threaten]] me from ha- from trying to seek one of my own, by scaring me on the Internet and whatnot.

Including Clyde Cash, you can all go to hell. And all the people that were on the Greene County School Board during the 1990s then that forced us to have to move back here, '''sit and spin...''' Hell.

And Michael Snyder, I hope you go to Hell, too!

And for everybody el-, as for everybody else... Peace.
{{-}}

==Michael Snyder's reply==
{{quotebox|When I go to hell, I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk. 
Signed, 
That goddam Michael Snyder}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan's Confession
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vRQtkDUHCF4}}
| Maker = MWillBuoy
| Stardate = 9 May 2010
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO CHRIS CHAN
| video = {{#ev:youtube|LRJlreNexFU}}
| Maker = ShinyMarshtomp
| Stardate = 9 May 2010
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The truth YOU weren't supposed to know: CWC Expose
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Nna4NOyHiyE}}
| Maker = SyntheNeko
| Stardate = 10 May 2010
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Greene County Conspiracy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Rv7hvbTgKAg}}
| Maker = MycalFelps
| Stardate = 01 Aug 2010
| Video Type =
}}

==References==
<references />

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]|nextlink=[[05142010]]}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, May 2010| 2010-05-08]]

Liquid Chris

2011-03-03T16:48:06Z

Shogun: /* Liquid Saga */ I deleted trivial pictures on this page as a part of reorganization.

{{Improve|massive reorganization|Expand the subtopics under the ''Liquid Saga'' for great justice. Add details and citations.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | <s>Trolls</s> Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Liquid Chris
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 24 February [[1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[Kacey]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
Freelance comic book artist/writer Musician
|-
|}
'''Liquid Chris''' (born 24 [[February 1982]]) is the '''[[TRUE and HONEST]] Christian Weston Chandler''' (ORIGINAL IDENTITY — DO NOT STEAL) and creator of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], [[Sonichu]].

==Prologue==
[[June 2009]] was a busy month for [[Christian]] (henceforth '''[[Metal Gear Solid|Solid Chris]]'''), with both highs and lows. Solid was getting out of the house more and knocking back some [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Islands]] with a new group of acquaintances. He was given the reins to his shiny new [[CWCipedia]] and had his [[YouTube]] account "CChanSonichu" compromised. Yes, he was [[Rollin' and Trollin']] indeed.

{{quote|And I'm nowadays wearing a vest and improving my image.|Solid Chris, [[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]}}

==Liquid Saga==
{{Protip|If you're going to call Chris "Ian", do so only in the context of this saga.}}

====A challenger appears====
[[Image:Torture.jpg|Liquid Chris torturing the impostor.|thumb]]
:''See also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Antebellum|Liquid's Antebellum Videos]]''

At the end of the month a new YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CChanSonichuCWC], appeared with a simple premise: that the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler (henceforth '''Liquid Chris''') was back online after a long absence, during which he lost his account to hackers, so all the weirdness on "CChanSonichu" was the work of hacking trolls, and he announced that he was ready to resume posting HONEST content on his new account. This new CWC posted four more videos, much of which were [[parodies]] of earlier videos by Solid Chris.

{{quote|How else would I get fan art, if I was not the original creator of Sonichu?|Liquid Chris, [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Update:_I_am_Still_the_Real_Christian_Weston_Chandler_Despite_LIES_AND_SLANDER._Also.2C_Some_Fan_Art|3 July 2009]]}}

Notably, Liquid Chris sported:
* A paper Sonichu medallion
* A striped shirt (brown)
* Pedo-glasses
* Obesity (by means of a stuffed shirt, later removed)
* Autism

All of which, of course, made him almost [[Chris and Reality|''indistinguishable'']] from Solid Chris! Solid himself made no comment, probably because he didn't notice the new videos among the chatter of all the other trolling. The alternative — that Solid just ignored them — is far too reasonable to consider.

====Ian Brandon Anderson====
:''Main Article: [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]

What really cranked this up to eleven was a chain of events that started with Solid Chris getting his "CChanSonichu" channel back: First, Solid posted [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|a series of videos]] on 10 [[July 2009]] where he "called out" three trolls by their YouTube handles, and dropped their docs (well, dropped "supposed states of residence"). That resulted in the permanent banhammer for "CChanSonichu".

The next piece fell into place when he posted his [[Rollin' and Trollin'|"Rollin' and Trollin'"]] video on his new YouTube account, "[[IBAChandler]]". When it hit [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], newfags everywhere momentarily lost control of their bowels, thinking they'd been trolled by a grand master. Trolls, however, did what trolls do best: they started riffing on it. Pretty quickly, YouTube comments popped up referring to Solid as "Ian Brandon Anderson". Such was the price of success for Solid's small drop of near win in his sea of epic fail: he had delivered unto his enemies a weapon that they'd use for months.

Even then, the damage control from that episode alone would probably have kept him from noticing Liquid's videos. Until that is, Liquid raised the stakes in an attempt to get Solid's attention.

===CWCivil War begins===
[[Image:Honest-and-true.jpg|thumb|right|TRUTH and HONESTY established by the state of [[Virginia]]!]]
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#The CWCivil|Liquid's CWCivil War Videos]]''

The war began on 21 July, when Liquid uploaded a [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Now_Selling_the_OFFICIAL_and_ORIGINAL_SONICHU_Merchandise_of_CWC.2C_NO_FAKERIES_OR_IMPOSTORY|video]] that reeled Solid in hook, line, and sinker, having sold Sonichu merchandise with [[Samantha Thaddeus]] at Otakon. A rebuttal was in order:

{{quotebox|DO NOT BUY from the Impostor, "[http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CWCCChanSonichuCWC]". HE IS CRAPPY, and his Nasal Voice is JUST DOWNRIGHT AWFUL.

Also, if I wanted to buy PAPER, I'd go to [[Wal-Mart]] and buy 500 FULL 8.5 X 11 Sheets for about 5 dollars!

HIS CHURCH? HE MUST LIVE IN FRICKIN' OHIO with "[[Julie]]"; NEVER DRIVES GREATER THAN 7 Hours JUST TO EVEN VISIT [[Wesley Memorial]] in [[VIRGINIA]].

F*** HIM TO HELL!<ref>[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

Solid also took time out from his busy schedule to post threats on Liquid's YouTube comments:

{{quotebox|'''The Final Showdown'''

Hey, DUMBASS! [[Chris and his ego|YOU WISH YOU WERE ME]]! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!

I am Calling YOU OUT!

[[14 Branchland Ct.]] [[Ruckersville]], VA
BEFORE August 2, 2009.
If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me.

oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "[[Naive|NAIVE]]", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.

But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.

You are a Nerd and a Whimp!

Have a good day. 
Christopher Christian Weston Chandler<ref>[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

Even at this point, Solid Chris still may have let this all go, as he was simultaneously getting blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was holding his [[PSN]] account to ransom. But as that wound down, Liquid caught Solid's eye again, by picking up on the Ian Brandon Anderson meme:

{{quotebox|Hello, again, Loyal Fans,

It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON). Anyway, I am Working Very Hard on Sonichu 9 and Things may be Progressing Heavily with my new TRUE [[Gal-Pal]] [[Kacey]] and I. Also, Expect more Announcements of this Developing Caliber in the Future.

Stay True.

CWC<ref>[[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Christian_Weston_Chandler.27s_EXCITING_ANNOUNCEMENT_of_SONICHU_and_Addressing_Things.| Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things.]]</ref>}}

==The battleground==

===="More Than A Feeling"====
[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|The REAL Chris is not only cute, he can play the guitar!]]
:''See Also: [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]''
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#More_Than_A_Feeling_THE_TRUE_VERSION_by_Christian_Weston_Chandler_.28CWC.29|More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)]]

For whatever reason, Solid dug up an old video of himself failing at ''Guitar Hero'' and dumped it online. Liquid shot back with a TRUE and HONEST rendition on a real guitar.

====Spanish Challenge====
[[Image:Cestnepas.jpg|thumb|Ceci n'est pas une Chris.]]
:''Main Article: [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''

More [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|video rage]] followed before Solid attempted a cunning plan:

{{quote|También. Mi presente. Responde en español bueño. ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor.|Solid Chris, ''[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''}}

The plan backfired when [[CWC_Update_29_July_2009#Liquid.27s_response|Liquid responded more fluently in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese]].

====''SingStar'' Challenge====
[[Image:Tgtdfw4.jpg|thumb|Only one clear choice, choosing the TRUE and HONEST Chris.]]
{{Main|SingStar_Challenge}}

{{quote|Alright, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge.|Solid Chris, [[SingStar Challenge|"''SingStar'' Challenge"]]}}

[[Fail|And then he shaved his goatee off. Dry. With a safety razor.]]

As expected, the contest went to Liquid and Solid was a sore loser about it. Liquid had a tally of four votes in favor, two against. He then took his leave from the competition, after announcing a number of personal coups:
* That he'd finally found a true sweetheart, [[Kacey]].
* That he'd landed a job as a Production Manager and Game Designer at [[Microsoft]] for a ''Sonichu'' game for all consoles.
* That Dark Horse Comics would be publishing his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], making him even more filthy rich, with the opening of the CWCStore.

And finally, that he had decided to stop battling the Solid, and move out of his parents' house to live in Redmond, Seattle, to continue his happy, successful life.

==="SHOWDOWN"===
{{Main|SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE}}

{{Quote|You’re breaking my balls here.|Solid, [[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]}}

On 9 [[August 2009]], Liquid called Solid up and confronted him over the slanderous lies he was telling on YouTube. Solid tried reason, and when that failed, he threatened to arrest Liquid for identity theft and involve Bob in this debacle.

{{quotebox|If you do not come clean right now, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get fucking arrested, thrown in jail, and you will not get to live the peaceful, happy life that Kacey and I would like [voice cracks] you to live because Kacey really cares for you MAN!<ref>[[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]</ref>}}

==="I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up."===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|B6Q1yFXgdoQ}}
| Stardate = 14 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music {{Galpals}} Kacey
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)|Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the ''SingStar'' Contest. Also, More Updates on ''Sonichu'' and Going Places :)]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
}}

Of course, this sent Solid completely over the deep end. First, he raged:

{{quote|STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, EVERYTHING! STOP HIM! HE DESERVES NOTHING!|Solid Chris, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]]}}

Then, he tried reason:

{{quotebox|The ''Singstar'' Challenge was NEVER to verify who was the real Christian Weston Chandler, because everyone on the [[Internet]] knows that I am, he's the impostor. They should quit encouraging him. And I wish that he would stop his stupid, damn, dirty game. I don't know what the heck is wrong with his head. [''his voice gets higher''] He ain't right. He don't even let me get a word in edgewise. He just keeps going on and on AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNN! Worse than my father!<ref>[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|"The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who"]]</ref>}}

And as summer disappeared, so too did Liquid Chris: The apparent victim of foul play. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is disturbing.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = GONE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RdshGz_Pvks}}
| Stardate = 15 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Violence}} [[Death threats]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.|I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]]
}}

Chris's sweetheart, [[Kacey]], was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.

===CWCivil War II: Kacey Boogaloo===
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|Chris's solution to Boyfriends.]]
{{Main|Kacey}}

Liquid Chris reappeared on 15 [[October 2009]] with a new video explaining the trials and tribulations of the past few months, and igniting a heated love triangle with Solid for Kacey's affections.

In the [[Greetings to Kacey's folks|video]] addressed to Kacey's parents, Solid called him '''"the previous Chris"'''. In a [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|desperate video for Kacey]], Solid called him '''"the other Chris"''' repeatedly.

When the dust had settled, Solid had [[Father Call|offended Kacey's father]] and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving arms of the real Chris.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = 10152009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Tn7WNTxCDck}}
| Stardate = 15 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Homos}} Homos {{Rumors}} Rumours
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.]]
}}

===Epilogue===
Liquid Chris is now married to his beloved sweetheart, [[Kacey]]. As the one TRUE and HONEST creator of Sonichu, his artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful [[boyfriend-free]] females with his medallions and his [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar of Win]].

Liquid makes mad [[Clyde Cash|cash]] by selling said medallions at Otakon and other [[anime]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic|conventions]] while voicing Solid in ''Sonichu: The Animated Series''. He has also made several hundred thousand dollars from his two critically acclaimed games, ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' and ''Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles'' for the [[Nintendo]] DS and [[Xbox]] 360, respectively.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M</ref>

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AQKzqnatMXw}}
| Stardate = 06 November 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
| next = [[Sonichu_Special_4|Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)]]
}}

'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Kacey, you Know who is Right, in Your Heart.

Signed,

"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler (C.W.C)}}

==Irony==
[[Image:LiquidChrisBelieveInMe.jpg|thumb|BELIEVE.]]
IBAChandler has mocked Liquid on several points:

* [[Speech Impediment|His nasal tone.]]
* [[Chris and fashion|His brown striped shirt.]]
* [[Chris and Money|Actually making money off ''Sonichu''.]]
* [[Fat|His appearance.]]

It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, and worse when the mirror is winning.

In early August 2009,<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009]]</ref> Solid began to believe that Liquid couldn't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a [[retard]] who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.

[[File:Liquidd.jpg|thumb|right|Ian acts as the real Chris, in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].]]

In a further fit of irony, Ian ended up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]].

And in a last irony, Ian impersonated Chris who was impersonating him impersonating...or something...in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].

== In the comic ==
[[Image:TrueAndHonestCWCArt.jpg|The impostor [[Chris]] stole his famous lecture to the [[Jerkops]] from the real Chris.|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Furryiba.jpg|thumb|Go, [[IBAChandler]], and copycat-ly seize [sic] to the extreme!]]

On 17 [[November 2009]], the TRUE and ORIGINAL Chris-chan made his very first appearance in Ian's [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Ian, being the slanderous troll that he is, had the nerve to imply that Liquid's name was, in fact, Ian Brandon Anderson, and once again tried to convince everyone that he, Solid was the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Sonichu.

Of course, since the comic is made by the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler, he would obviously cast the impostor in the comic and call him by his real name. Chris shows much more restraint for Ian than was shown to him in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]].

Chris planned a future plot where [[Giovanni]] captured [[Rosechu]] and forced Chris to cede control over [[CWCville]] to the browned-striped impostor.<ref>[[CWC Blog#20 November 2009]]</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Not TRUE AND ORIGINAL
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part I
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ayObshLZQwI}}
| Stardate = 2 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s1SBdwZDN1k}}
| Stardate = 4 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part III
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dYrgl-otclY}}
| Stardate = 6 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm On Hexbawks. :)]]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XhENYYmGAeA}}
| Stardate = 25 [[January 2010]]
| Maker = BobbyHillify
| Subject =
| Video Type = Trailer for the upcoming [[Xbox]] game.
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Solid Chris]]
* [[Robert Simmons V|Solidus Chris]]
* [[Jimmy Hill]]
* [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], another doppelganger of Chris featured in the Sonichu comics

==References==
<references/>

== External links ==
* [http://www.youtube.com/cchansonichucwc CChanSonichuCWC YouTube Account]
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/The_Real_Chris_Chan The Real Chris Chan] on [[ED]]
* <s>[http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Christian_Weston_Chandler Christian Weston Chandler]</s> on [[Asperpedia]] - '''DEAD'''

 {{SingStarChallenge}}
{{Template:The_Cwcivil_War_of_2009}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chris, Liquid}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Naïve

2011-02-23T22:50:38Z

Shogun: /* Ways in which Chris is naïve */

[[Image:Naivewater.png|150px|right]]

{{quote|oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "NAIVE", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.
But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.|Chris on the dreaded word<ref>From a YouTube comment to [[Liquid Chris]] on the [[REAL_Protest_against_the_FAKE#Youtube_comments_from_Chris|REAL Protest against the FAKE]] video.</ref>}}

{{quote|You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.|
Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride, giving his opinion on the matter}}

'''Naïve''' is one of [[Chris]]'s most-used insults; despite this, it is apparently his least favorite word.<ref>From [[Mailbag_21#Chris%27s_favorite_curse_word_is_an_%22F%22_followed_by_3_asterisks|Mailbag 21]].</ref>. According to Merriam-Webster's English dictionary, the word "naïve" means "deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment; especially: credulous"<ref>[http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/naive Merriam-Webster's online entry about "naïve"]</ref>; Chris, however, defines it in his [[The July 10th Messages|July 10th Messages]] as merely "questioning one's intelligence", showing that he only understands the most overly simplified definition of the word. By the time of the [[Jackie e-mails]], he had apparently corrected his definition outwardly, but unless he really cares about his [[Virgin with rage|non-existent experience]], he probably still believes it simply means "stupid".<ref>"Naive; it questions my mentality and experience."</ref> In the [[Wallflower E-mails]], he finally uses the correct definition, confirming that "naive" is really just an unacceptable jab at his [[ego|unwarranted self-importance]].<ref>ibid. "My least favorite word of ALL time is "naive", [[random-access humor|NOT because of how it is spelt]], but it questions and belittles ones intelligence and experience. I am well-experienced and knowledgeable in a lot of things." Note that the Wallflower did not ask him for this answer.</ref> He also refers to it as "the cruelest of words". He often pairs it with "[[autism|retard]]", "[[slow in the mind]]", or one of his many other [[CWC-ism]] insults.

Chris has called others ([[Liquid_Chris|largely]] [[Alec_Benson_Leary|trolls]]) "naïve" on many occasions. During the Liquid Saga, he remarked that the name [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] sounds "[[CCWC%27s_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|about as bad as the word naïve to me now]]". It has never occurred to Chris that assuming that other people find the word "naïve" as offensive as he does is — well — naïve.

The origins of Chris's disdain for this word likely come from occasions when it has been used against him in attempts to give him constructive criticism, such as the [[Vivian Gee E-mails]]. He seems to have twisted its original, relatively polite meaning into the worst insult he can muster. When [[Father Call|Kacey's father]] called him naïve, Chris became enraged, almost to the point of threatening physical violence.

Ironically, back in the comics, he's accurately used it to describe himself in a non-condescending way, being "naive about dating during young adult years", suggesting that he once understood its definition properly. He seems to get seriously offended when other people call him that, but has used it several times to describe himself in the past tense.

=== Ways in which Chris is naïve ===

* He believes that [[Sonichu]] is a [[Common_Questions#26_January_2010|popular internet topic with millions of fans]]. Despite all of the evidence proving that Sonichu has no real fans (only 5,000 or so trolls), he continues to believe in this delusion on the grounds that he is an "[[Mailbag_53|optimist]]."
* He believes that swallowing his own [[Navy|semen]] will keep his sperm count high.
* He believes that everyone [[Recycling|shares]] [[Death threats|his]] [[Mass Debating|bad]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|habits]].
* He is under the impression that [[Asperger_syndrome|Asperger's]] must be completely different from [[Autism|High Functioning Autism]] due to their different names, despite [[Mailbag_4#Chris_the_close-minded|lacking]] any [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|proof]] to back this belief, or the fact that people who study and research these disorders for a living prove that they are similar.
* He thinks that all [[Homos|gays]] are [[Chris|malicious perverts]] that want to have [[Chris and Health|anal]] [[Chris and Sex|sex]], the same beliefs as the [[Wikipedia:Westboro_Baptist_Church|Westboro Baptist Church]].
* He believes that [[Sonichu_(character)|cartoon characters]] are [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_2|real, living beings]] that exist in an alternate [[CWCville|world]].<ref>From the [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_2|second]] of the [[Alec Benson Leary calls]].</ref>
* He believes that [[Chris_and_Copyright#Copyright_registration|registering "digital drawings"]] with the Library of Congress gives him [[Chris_and_his_ego|complete control]] over anything done with [[Sonichu]].<ref>The subject of the video "[[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]."</ref>
* He believes that simply being alive counts as "experience", despite the fact that he never goes out to experience anything.
* He believes that [[Wikipedia:Correlation_implies_causation_(logical_fallacy)|correlation implies causation]]; or, that if he demands something happen (mostly via [[Attention_All_Sonichu_Fans_(NOT_HATERS)|YouTube video]] or his [[Death_threats#Cogsdev|now]]-[[Mailbag_18#In_which_Chris_believes_he_has_magic_powers_(srsly)|abandoned]] [[Cwcipedia|website]]), and - by some miracle - it happens, then his demands must have caused the desired effect. These effects include death or extreme misfortune for people, and downtime or content removal for websites.
* He believes that marijuana is simply a more dangerous [[Tobacky|cigarette]].
* He believed that people who had been insulting and playing tricks on him for years would actually fulfill [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|their promise]] to give him $9,001 for [[The MovingForward videos|smashing]] his [[PS3]].
* He believed that [[Molvanîa]] existed.

==Sauce==
<references />

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Naïve

2011-02-23T22:47:42Z

Shogun: /* Ways in which Chris is naïve */

[[Image:Naivewater.png|150px|right]]

{{quote|oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "NAIVE", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.
But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.|Chris on the dreaded word<ref>From a YouTube comment to [[Liquid Chris]] on the [[REAL_Protest_against_the_FAKE#Youtube_comments_from_Chris|REAL Protest against the FAKE]] video.</ref>}}

{{quote|You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.|
Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride, giving his opinion on the matter}}

'''Naïve''' is one of [[Chris]]'s most-used insults; despite this, it is apparently his least favorite word.<ref>From [[Mailbag_21#Chris%27s_favorite_curse_word_is_an_%22F%22_followed_by_3_asterisks|Mailbag 21]].</ref>. According to Merriam-Webster's English dictionary, the word "naïve" means "deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment; especially: credulous"<ref>[http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/naive Merriam-Webster's online entry about "naïve"]</ref>; Chris, however, defines it in his [[The July 10th Messages|July 10th Messages]] as merely "questioning one's intelligence", showing that he only understands the most overly simplified definition of the word. By the time of the [[Jackie e-mails]], he had apparently corrected his definition outwardly, but unless he really cares about his [[Virgin with rage|non-existent experience]], he probably still believes it simply means "stupid".<ref>"Naive; it questions my mentality and experience."</ref> In the [[Wallflower E-mails]], he finally uses the correct definition, confirming that "naive" is really just an unacceptable jab at his [[ego|unwarranted self-importance]].<ref>ibid. "My least favorite word of ALL time is "naive", [[random-access humor|NOT because of how it is spelt]], but it questions and belittles ones intelligence and experience. I am well-experienced and knowledgeable in a lot of things." Note that the Wallflower did not ask him for this answer.</ref> He also refers to it as "the cruelest of words". He often pairs it with "[[autism|retard]]", "[[slow in the mind]]", or one of his many other [[CWC-ism]] insults.

Chris has called others ([[Liquid_Chris|largely]] [[Alec_Benson_Leary|trolls]]) "naïve" on many occasions. During the Liquid Saga, he remarked that the name [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] sounds "[[CCWC%27s_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|about as bad as the word naïve to me now]]". It has never occurred to Chris that assuming that other people find the word "naïve" as offensive as he does is — well — naïve.

The origins of Chris's disdain for this word likely come from occasions when it has been used against him in attempts to give him constructive criticism, such as the [[Vivian Gee E-mails]]. He seems to have twisted its original, relatively polite meaning into the worst insult he can muster. When [[Father Call|Kacey's father]] called him naïve, Chris became enraged, almost to the point of threatening physical violence.

Ironically, back in the comics, he's accurately used it to describe himself in a non-condescending way, being "naive about dating during young adult years", suggesting that he once understood its definition properly. He seems to get seriously offended when other people call him that, but has used it several times to describe himself in the past tense.

=== Ways in which Chris is naïve ===

* He believes that [[Sonichu]] is a [[Common_Questions#26_January_2010|popular internet topic with millions of fans]]. Despite all of the evidence proving that Sonichu has no real fans (only 5,000 or so trolls), he continues to believe in this delusion on the grounds that he is an "[[Mailbag_53|optimist]]."
* He believes that swallowing his own [[Navy|semen]] will keep his sperm count high.
* He believes that everyone [[Recycling|shares]] [[Death threats|his]] [[Mass Debating|bad]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|habits]].
* He is under the impression that [[Asperger_syndrome|Asperger's]] must be completely different from [[Autism|High Functioning Autism]] due to their different names, despite [[Mailbag_4#Chris_the_close-minded|lacking]] any [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|proof]] to back this belief, or the fact that people who study and research these disorders for a living prove that they are similar.
* He thinks that all [[Homos|gays]] are [[Chris|malicious perverts]] that want to have [[Chris and Health|anal]] [[Chris and Sex|sex]], the same beliefs as the [[Wikipedia:Westboro_Baptist_Church|Westboro Baptist Church]].
* He believes that [[Sonichu_(character)|cartoon characters]] are [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_2|real, living beings]] that exist in an alternate [[CWCville|world]].<ref>From the [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_2|second]] of the [[Alec Benson Leary calls]].</ref>
* He believes that [[Chris_and_Copyright#Copyright_registration|registering "digital drawings"]] with the Library of Congress gives him [[Chris_and_his_ego|complete control]] over anything done with [[Sonichu]].<ref>The subject of the video "[[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]."</ref>
* He believes that simply being alive counts as "experience", despite the fact that he never goes out to experience anything.
* He believes that [[Wikipedia:Correlation_implies_causation_(logical_fallacy)|correlation implies causation]]; or, that if he demands something happen (mostly via [[Attention_All_Sonichu_Fans_(NOT_HATERS)|YouTube video]] or his [[Death_threats#Cogsdev|now]]-[[Mailbag_18#In_which_Chris_believes_he_has_magic_powers_(srsly)|abandoned]] [[Cwcipedia|website]]), and - by some miracle - it happens, then his demands must have caused the desired effect. These effects include death or extreme misfortune for people, and downtime or content removal for websites.
* He believes that marijuana is simply a more dangerous [[Tobacky|cigarette]].
* He believed that people who had been insulting and playing tricks on him for years would actually fulfill [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|their promise]] to give him $9,001 for [[The MovingForward videos|smashing]] his [[PS3]].
* He believed that [[Molvanîa]] was an existent country.

==Sauce==
<references />

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Rollin' and Trollin'

2011-02-20T05:07:49Z

Shogun: /* Transcript */

'''Rollin' and Trollin'''' (more like ''Strange Case of Dr CWC and Mr Virgin With Rage'') is a video of downtown [[CWCville]] (really downtown [[Charlottesville]]) uploaded on 17 [[July 2009]] in which Chris attempts [[Wikipedia:Andy Kaufman|Kaufmanesque humor]]. Notable is a video message to real life [[trolls]], including several [[CWCki]] editors. The video uses copyrighted music without permission, which is something that [[YouTube]] mutes videos for.

[[Chris]] has changed his look to:
*normal hairstyle
*[[Krapple|a goatee]]
*sunglasses instead of large, square [[pedo glasses]]
*plain blue T-shirt and jeans
*navy blue sleeveless unbuttoned shirt over his t-shirt
*dog-collar bracelets
*his forearms appear to be covered in thick tattoos, compliments of the tattoo sleeve from the [[Fuck Quest|fuck quest]]
*no [[Amnyfest Ring]]
*a chain with some dog tags, instead of his trademark [[Sonichu medallion]]

The lack of the ring and medallion suggested that Chris was not entirely TRUE and HONEST when he made this video, something that he indeed confirmed later. Chris also is continuing his pattern that started about a month before of sometimes not speaking clearly; however, his dialogue is especially unclear here at many parts.

In some parts of the video, his voice suddenly sounds like that of a man in his twenties, and even when his voice cracks to a high pitch, it sounds like video editing was done to deepen it. However, in other parts of the video, his voice starts cracking as it normally does, like a young boy's voice. No matter what, he still sounds like... well, an [[autistic]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Rollin' and Trollin'
| image = {{#ev:youtube|a4-LgbN-sHA}}
| Stardate = 17 July 2009
| Maker = [[IBAChandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music|text}}, [[Trolls]]
| Performance Style = {{Smug|text}}
| Shirt = [[Image:Trollinstyle.png]] Trollin' Style
| Other = {{Live|text}}
| previous = [[A near public apology]]
| next = [[CWC Trollin More]]
}}

{{quote|Well the, uh, truth comes out. I’ve never been autistic, I work forty hours a week to support my parents, this has all been a trick, you have all been trolled. }}

===Transcript===

''[Note: an [http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&gl=us&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&msid=107843413913045677951.0004720130396776af50b&ll=38.030219,-78.480331&spn=0.006845,0.012757&t=h&z=17&lci=com.google.ugc.c752d13e87c4fbd7 annotated listing] of the locations featured in this video has been created on Google Maps.]''

''Christian Weston Chandler, Rollin’ and Trollin’''

[''Music, in the form of "Escape from the City" from ''[[Sonic]] Adventure 2'', plays as Chris walks down the street'']

'''Chris''' ''imitating an announcer'': Hi we’re coming to you live from CWCville today. We’re over at the CWCville pavilion. The, uh, [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Hedgehog Boys]] and the, uh, master Christian Mayor the, uh they for day, uh, come here every Friday night and, uh, and it draws a crowd, uh, and it’s very good y’know. [''Shimmies clumsily''] This gives me some, uh, business from amongst the population that comes around.

[''Music plays as Chris walks down the street'']

'''Chris''': Ah yes this is our graffiti wall in the mid- uh in the middle of the, uh, city of CWCville in the metropolis. The, uh, fee- the, uh, children are, uh, enjoying it obviously and this is also part of our beautification project in the city and we and I gotta say that the, uh, project just looks fantab- fantastic from here. It all looks very good. I tell you what. “Give me the liberty to know, to utter and to argue according to conscience above all liberties.”

[''Music plays while Chris goes to an elevator. 15 seconds of dead air time pass while he waits for the elevator to arrive while the music plays like it's the coolest thing in the world. The video is also even cut in between the elevator wait as the elevator took even longer to come. The music itself makes the dead air time seem like it's two minutes instead of fifteen seconds. The music continues as he boards the elevator. The lift rises until they arrive at a car park on the top floor.'']

'''Cameraman''': So how do you feel about President [[Obama]] and his economic policies?[[File:Cameraman.png|thumb|Contrary to popular belief, the cameraman (on the right) seems to be a pretty normal guy.]]

'''Chris''': I like it. It’s he’s doing a smash-up job of it and he’s, uh, getting everybody their money and, uh, getting everybody the bang for their buck.

'''Cameraman''': How do you feel about President Obama’s foreign policies with countries like Iran and Iraq?

'''Chris''': Hmmm. Yeah. I think he’s doin’ OK. You know, uh, establishing, uh, good communications and, uh, giving them what they, uh, require yeah he’s I think he’s doing a very good job with his, uh, foreign policies.

'''Cameraman''': President Obama, being a family man, what is your opinion on his character?

'''Chris''': I think he’s a regular stand up [[family guy]].

''During the Obama questions, Chris's voice pitch was in the style of how his voice becomes very high pitched when he lies.''

[''Music plays as Chris walks along talking and gesturing at the sky. They arrive at the Timberlake drug store.'']

'''Chris''': Ah yes the old Timberlake drug store. It’s been in the, uh, family for generations. The, uh, only, uh ss- generation that, uh, has not been able to run it is the one that went on to a singing career.

[''Outside a bar named Rapture. A clothing store called [[Vivian]]'s is clearly visible'']

'''Chris''': Alright well since the, uh, bar s- since the bar law has been repealed, the drinking law, the this here’s the first bar to open up. The, uh, Rapture, uh, in the city of CWCville. Ah also known by the nickname of, uh, R2.

[''Heart wipe. Chris strides along to music'']

'''Chris''': Over in downtown CWCville the honor the, uh, death of our dearly departed, uh, bodyguard of mine, [[BILLY MAYS]]. He sacrificed his life in an assassination attempt from m- from me and, uh, is doobly honored in downtown CWCville. We build this building. [''Camera pans to a derelict apartment block.''] To be completed in a few, uh, the towers n-, uh, the building the buildings will be the BILLY MAYS Tower and will serve as the new commercial site in the commercial center.

''And now some words to our fans''

'''Chris''': Hey Xantos (sic), man don’t ya be waggling that carton finger around at people. [''Flips off the camera''] Hey [[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]], you wish you were as cool as [[Robotnik|Doctor Ivo Eggman]]. [''Punches the air, gives V-sign''] Tie day is groovy, maaan. PeachyKeen is always awesome [''V-sign turns into Shocker sign''] wasn’t just in a decade it’s forever. [[Wikipedia:Space Channel 5|Ulala]], now reporting for Space Channel 9, is that yoouu in that picture? Hey, Cosmos, you wish that I could feel ya’. [[Wikipedia:Anthony Sullivan (pitchman)|Anthony Sullivan]], you’re nothing without BILLY MAYS, you’re nothing with BILLY MAYS and if you want to talk about cock building look at BILLY MAYS memorial right behind me. Okay, El Misto, you don’t like my beard so much [''Camera zooms in on his chin''] I’ll tell you much it was a present form uncle Scrotor. Tez-manian Devil, some people have oily skin [''Camera zooms in on his forehead''] it doesn’t mean that their hygiene is bad. How about instead of the, uh, water that doesn’t work so well how about I rub you off my face! Hey double C D, yeah the Robotech Era is over Gundam overshadowed it. Arrrg, Neckbeardedone, quit lurking in ye shadows and step up and be a real troll. Hey [[User:RachmaninovDESU‎|Rachmaninov]] [''In air quotes''] stop dissing this chick. Man up will you? Captains log star date Velour Fog? Zap Brannigan? What’s the deal with that? I’d punch you in the face like Leela does. [''Swipes at the air''] Hey Morden, yeah we kissed but that’s not all: I hit that like the fist of an angry God.

''Thank you''

[''Music plays as Chris walks'']

[''In a park. Chris is wearing a pair of eye glasses over his eyes and a pair of sunglasses over his forehead'']

'''Chris''': Hey, I’m not near-sighted that was a rules [ruse]. If you want to see what they really do gimme a sec’. [''Puts glasses in front of the camera. With a whoosh and a hum, the scene becomes posterized in reds, purples, and greens, mimicking [[wikipedia:Predator (alien)|the infrared sight]] of the creatures from the ''Predator'' movies.'']

''A few thoughts on [[Optimus Prime]]''

'''Chris''': Yeah, Optimus Prime, uh, compurer, um, do not really care much for him, uh, I mean ever since the movie he’s always hanging around with Sam y'know. He’s always hanging around with kids. Somemany needs to call [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]].

''The final word about the greatest troll in history...''

Well the, uh, truth comes out. I’ve never been [[autistic]], I work forty hours a week to support my parents, this has all been a trick, you have all been trolled.

[''Music plays while Chris does his victory lap'']

''Cast''

''Christian Weston Chandler as Himself''

''Special Thanks: The Field Agents of CWCVille’s Security Taskforce''

''The [[PVCC (board)|Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] ''

''Old Spice Swagger: The Scent of Confidence ''

''[[Hex Box|Microsoft’s X-Box 360]]''

''And the silly trolls everywhere, for the many [[lulz]] you have provided.''
[[File:Example.jpg]]

==See also==
*[[Fridays After Five]]
*[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris's Big Night Out II]]|nextlink=[[CWC Trollin More]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Social life]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-17]]

Rollin' and Trollin'

2011-02-20T05:06:49Z

Shogun: /* Transcript */

'''Rollin' and Trollin'''' (more like ''Strange Case of Dr CWC and Mr Virgin With Rage'') is a video of downtown [[CWCville]] (really downtown [[Charlottesville]]) uploaded on 17 [[July 2009]] in which Chris attempts [[Wikipedia:Andy Kaufman|Kaufmanesque humor]]. Notable is a video message to real life [[trolls]], including several [[CWCki]] editors. The video uses copyrighted music without permission, which is something that [[YouTube]] mutes videos for.

[[Chris]] has changed his look to:
*normal hairstyle
*[[Krapple|a goatee]]
*sunglasses instead of large, square [[pedo glasses]]
*plain blue T-shirt and jeans
*navy blue sleeveless unbuttoned shirt over his t-shirt
*dog-collar bracelets
*his forearms appear to be covered in thick tattoos, compliments of the tattoo sleeve from the [[Fuck Quest|fuck quest]]
*no [[Amnyfest Ring]]
*a chain with some dog tags, instead of his trademark [[Sonichu medallion]]

The lack of the ring and medallion suggested that Chris was not entirely TRUE and HONEST when he made this video, something that he indeed confirmed later. Chris also is continuing his pattern that started about a month before of sometimes not speaking clearly; however, his dialogue is especially unclear here at many parts.

In some parts of the video, his voice suddenly sounds like that of a man in his twenties, and even when his voice cracks to a high pitch, it sounds like video editing was done to deepen it. However, in other parts of the video, his voice starts cracking as it normally does, like a young boy's voice. No matter what, he still sounds like... well, an [[autistic]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Rollin' and Trollin'
| image = {{#ev:youtube|a4-LgbN-sHA}}
| Stardate = 17 July 2009
| Maker = [[IBAChandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music|text}}, [[Trolls]]
| Performance Style = {{Smug|text}}
| Shirt = [[Image:Trollinstyle.png]] Trollin' Style
| Other = {{Live|text}}
| previous = [[A near public apology]]
| next = [[CWC Trollin More]]
}}

{{quote|Well the, uh, truth comes out. I’ve never been autistic, I work forty hours a week to support my parents, this has all been a trick, you have all been trolled. }}

===Transcript===

''[Note: an [http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&gl=us&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&msid=107843413913045677951.0004720130396776af50b&ll=38.030219,-78.480331&spn=0.006845,0.012757&t=h&z=17&lci=com.google.ugc.c752d13e87c4fbd7 annotated listing] of the locations featured in this video has been created on Google Maps.]''

''Christian Weston Chandler, Rollin’ and Trollin’''

[''Music, in the form of "Escape from the City" from ''[[Sonic]] Adventure 2'', plays as Chris walks down the street'']

'''Chris''' ''imitating an announcer'': Hi we’re coming to you live from CWCville today. We’re over at the CWCville pavilion. The, uh, [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Hedgehog Boys]] and the, uh, master Christian Mayor the, uh they for day, uh, come here every Friday night and, uh, and it draws a crowd, uh, and it’s very good y’know. [''Shimmies clumsily''] This gives me some, uh, business from amongst the population that comes around.

[''Music plays as Chris walks down the street'']

'''Chris''': Ah yes this is our graffiti wall in the mid- uh in the middle of the, uh, city of CWCville in the metropolis. The, uh, fee- the, uh, children are, uh, enjoying it obviously and this is also part of our beautification project in the city and we and I gotta say that the, uh, project just looks fantab- fantastic from here. It all looks very good. I tell you what. “Give me the liberty to know, to utter and to argue according to conscience above all liberties.”

[''Music plays while Chris goes to an elevator. 15 seconds of dead air time pass while he waits for the elevator to arrive while the music plays like it's the coolest thing in the world. The video is also even cut in between the elevator wait as the elevator took even longer to come. The music itself makes the dead air time seem like it's two minutes instead of fifteen seconds. The music continues as he boards the elevator. The lift rises until they arrive at a car park on the top floor.'']

'''Cameraman''': So how do you feel about President [[Obama]] and his economic policies?[[File:Cameraman.png|thumb|Contrary to popular beliefs, the cameraman (on the right) seems to be a pretty normal guy.]]

'''Chris''': I like it. It’s he’s doing a smash-up job of it and he’s, uh, getting everybody their money and, uh, getting everybody the bang for their buck.

'''Cameraman''': How do you feel about President Obama’s foreign policies with countries like Iran and Iraq?

'''Chris''': Hmmm. Yeah. I think he’s doin’ OK. You know, uh, establishing, uh, good communications and, uh, giving them what they, uh, require yeah he’s I think he’s doing a very good job with his, uh, foreign policies.

'''Cameraman''': President Obama, being a family man, what is your opinion on his character?

'''Chris''': I think he’s a regular stand up [[family guy]].

''During the Obama questions, Chris's voice pitch was in the style of how his voice becomes very high pitched when he lies.''

[''Music plays as Chris walks along talking and gesturing at the sky. They arrive at the Timberlake drug store.'']

'''Chris''': Ah yes the old Timberlake drug store. It’s been in the, uh, family for generations. The, uh, only, uh ss- generation that, uh, has not been able to run it is the one that went on to a singing career.

[''Outside a bar named Rapture. A clothing store called [[Vivian]]'s is clearly visible'']

'''Chris''': Alright well since the, uh, bar s- since the bar law has been repealed, the drinking law, the this here’s the first bar to open up. The, uh, Rapture, uh, in the city of CWCville. Ah also known by the nickname of, uh, R2.

[''Heart wipe. Chris strides along to music'']

'''Chris''': Over in downtown CWCville the honor the, uh, death of our dearly departed, uh, bodyguard of mine, [[BILLY MAYS]]. He sacrificed his life in an assassination attempt from m- from me and, uh, is doobly honored in downtown CWCville. We build this building. [''Camera pans to a derelict apartment block.''] To be completed in a few, uh, the towers n-, uh, the building the buildings will be the BILLY MAYS Tower and will serve as the new commercial site in the commercial center.

''And now some words to our fans''

'''Chris''': Hey Xantos (sic), man don’t ya be waggling that carton finger around at people. [''Flips off the camera''] Hey [[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]], you wish you were as cool as [[Robotnik|Doctor Ivo Eggman]]. [''Punches the air, gives V-sign''] Tie day is groovy, maaan. PeachyKeen is always awesome [''V-sign turns into Shocker sign''] wasn’t just in a decade it’s forever. [[Wikipedia:Space Channel 5|Ulala]], now reporting for Space Channel 9, is that yoouu in that picture? Hey, Cosmos, you wish that I could feel ya’. [[Wikipedia:Anthony Sullivan (pitchman)|Anthony Sullivan]], you’re nothing without BILLY MAYS, you’re nothing with BILLY MAYS and if you want to talk about cock building look at BILLY MAYS memorial right behind me. Okay, El Misto, you don’t like my beard so much [''Camera zooms in on his chin''] I’ll tell you much it was a present form uncle Scrotor. Tez-manian Devil, some people have oily skin [''Camera zooms in on his forehead''] it doesn’t mean that their hygiene is bad. How about instead of the, uh, water that doesn’t work so well how about I rub you off my face! Hey double C D, yeah the Robotech Era is over Gundam overshadowed it. Arrrg, Neckbeardedone, quit lurking in ye shadows and step up and be a real troll. Hey [[User:RachmaninovDESU‎|Rachmaninov]] [''In air quotes''] stop dissing this chick. Man up will you? Captains log star date Velour Fog? Zap Brannigan? What’s the deal with that? I’d punch you in the face like Leela does. [''Swipes at the air''] Hey Morden, yeah we kissed but that’s not all: I hit that like the fist of an angry God.

''Thank you''

[''Music plays as Chris walks'']

[''In a park. Chris is wearing a pair of eye glasses over his eyes and a pair of sunglasses over his forehead'']

'''Chris''': Hey, I’m not near-sighted that was a rules [ruse]. If you want to see what they really do gimme a sec’. [''Puts glasses in front of the camera. With a whoosh and a hum, the scene becomes posterized in reds, purples, and greens, mimicking [[wikipedia:Predator (alien)|the infrared sight]] of the creatures from the ''Predator'' movies.'']

''A few thoughts on [[Optimus Prime]]''

'''Chris''': Yeah, Optimus Prime, uh, compurer, um, do not really care much for him, uh, I mean ever since the movie he’s always hanging around with Sam y'know. He’s always hanging around with kids. Somemany needs to call [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]].

''The final word about the greatest troll in history...''

Well the, uh, truth comes out. I’ve never been [[autistic]], I work forty hours a week to support my parents, this has all been a trick, you have all been trolled.

[''Music plays while Chris does his victory lap'']

''Cast''

''Christian Weston Chandler as Himself''

''Special Thanks: The Field Agents of CWCVille’s Security Taskforce''

''The [[PVCC (board)|Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] ''

''Old Spice Swagger: The Scent of Confidence ''

''[[Hex Box|Microsoft’s X-Box 360]]''

''And the silly trolls everywhere, for the many [[lulz]] you have provided.''
[[File:Example.jpg]]

==See also==
*[[Fridays After Five]]
*[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris's Big Night Out II]]|nextlink=[[CWC Trollin More]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Social life]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-17]]

File:Cameraman.png

2011-02-20T05:04:50Z

Shogun: uploaded a new version of "File:Cameraman.png": The mysterious cameraman in "Rollin and Trollin".

The cameraman in question at 1:45 of "Rollin and Trollin".

File:Cameraman.png

2011-02-20T05:01:45Z

Shogun: The cameraman in question at 1:45 of "Rollin and Trollin".

The cameraman in question at 1:45 of "Rollin and Trollin".

Friend zone

2011-01-23T10:46:21Z

Shogun: /* Gal pals and the friend zone */

[[Chris]] has rarely been able to even form a casual friendship with a woman, and generally just harasses the ones who react to him with something other than hostility. Nevertheless, his single-minded focus on going all the way and getting laid has led him to view the concept of the '''friend zone''' with disgust. Friendship, in Chris's mind, is merely a tactic women use to avoid giving guys like him the [[china]] they deserve.

==The friend zone defined==
[[File:Into the friend zone.jpg|thumb|Even with this illustration, Chris will probably never understand this concept.]]

Nowadays the "friend zone" is a common topic in discussions of romantic relationships. From one perspective, the friend zone is where guys wind up when they spend too much time getting to know a woman without trying to make a move towards a more serious relationship. Eventually, the woman views them as "just friends" (or "[[Cole Smithey|like a brother]]," to use one variation on the theme) rather than a potential lover.

From another perspective, a woman might value her friendship with a man too much to take the risk of advancing to a more serious commitment, which could lead to an ugly breakup and the end of any sort of relationship with him.

It's possible for a woman to enjoy a man's company without wanting to go to bed with him (and for a man to likewise feel the same way about a woman). Most people are capable of accepting this fact, even if it's a bit difficult to deal with when one has been "friended" by the object of one's affection. Chris, of course, has other ideas.
{{-}}
==Chris on the friend zone==
[[Image:cwcfz.png|thumb|right|Chris and where is he in the Friend Zone.]]
Like many other supposed "rules" related to sex and dating, the friend zone is in fact a pretty nebulous concept. Chris, unable to think about relationships except in the most [[Autism|rigid, inflexible terms]], characterizes the friend zone as a law, a hard and fast rule that he apparently believes has been forced upon him by some unspecified authority. (This is similar to his interpretation of the [[Third date|three-date rule]].)

In [[Mumble 4]], [[Clyde Cash]] had a brief discussion on the friend zone with Chris, brought on by Chris's assumption that [[Sarah Hammer]] was interested in him romantically simply because they were neighbors. Chris responded to Clyde's assessment of his friendzone status by talking about the movie ''[[Wikipedia:Just Friends|Just Friends]]'', which he also cited in a Mailbag question several months later.

In [[Mailbag 4]], a correspondent asked him what law he would change if he could change a single one. (His intention was probably to bait Chris into discussing the "dumb laws" preventing [[Zapina|teenage girls]] from taking off their clothes in public.) Chris responded with a tirade against the friend zone.

{{quote|I would remove the "Law" of the "Friend Zone", because I feel that it is just wrong to not even attempt to have anything beyond friendship, especially if the man and the woman are both comfortable with each other and are close.|Chris, failing to understand women as usual.}}

Later, he expanded his opinion somewhat in the [[Common_Questions#Answered_15_January_2010|Common Questions]] section of the Mailbag. In this case, a correspondent quite reasonably asked, "What happened to a woman's right to choose who she wants to be with?"

{{quote|Nothing has happened in Women's Rights; the "Friend Zone" is only the LOUSIEST EXCUSE EVER to give to someone the woman deeply cares about and trusts so she could get out of sex or a relationship. I do not take kindly to that Excuse at this time.|Chris, cursing any woman who tries to "get out of [the] sex" she clearly owes him.}}

Chris's characterization of "we're just friends" as an "excuse" is revealing, both in regards to his ideas about women and his view of himself. He cannot imagine a rational explanation for why a female friend would not want to have sex with him (except in the case of [[Anna]] - he's willing to accept that there's no point in hitting on a lesbian). Instead, he believes that women have invented excuses like this one because for some reason they fear a sexual relationship. If he is attracted to her and wants to sleep with her, he feels that she is obligated to return his interest and help bring his degenerate fantasies to life. In the worst case scenario, Chris would refuse to listen to a woman's "excuses" and [[Chris_and_sex#Chris_and_rape| rape]] her.

==[[Gal pal]]s and the friend zone==

===[[Megan Schroeder]]===

Chris's comments about the friend zone shed a bit more light on his relationship with Megan Schroeder (and its spectacular collapse). While Megan was happy to enjoy an ordinary, platonic friendship with Chris — which, most observers would agree, is far more than he could ever have reasonably hoped for — he clearly couldn't get his mind around the notion of a woman who didn't mind his company, but didn't want to have sex with him. From his perspective, she was "making excuses," since there's no way she could have been sincerely interested in nothing more than a good friendship. Hence his refusal to quit subjecting her to physical pressure, his assumption that only sexual inexperience prevented her from wanting to fuck him, and so on. Chris's frustration with being in the "friend zone" reached the point where - according to him - he had to draw [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] in order to prevent himself doing something infinitely [[Rape|worse]].

===[[The Wallflower]]===

Even after the Megan debacle, Chris was still oblivious to the concept of friend zone whilst dealing with the Wallflower. Chris revealed in his video, [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!]], that she had been consistently telling Chris that she "isn't ready for a boyfriend". He is not aware that this is a commonly used technique for rejecting people, and that he had been seen as nothing more than a friend - even before the Wallflower found the CWCki. Since he had to be told multiple times that she wasn't ready for a boyfriend, this implies he went past the boundaries of good taste multiple times despite being told it was unappreciated. This surprised no one.

Oddly, on 31 [[January 2010]], long before the wallflower fiasco occurred, Chris [[Sonichu Forum#News Flash: Chris is still single IRL|posted in the Sonichu Forum]] that he had been friend zoned, and felt crestfallen about it. The most likely explanation for Chris's actions towards The Wallflower, was that he was trying to follow his own [[Mailbag 16#In which Chris reveals exactly how little he's learned|amazingly bad advice]], and treat the friend zone as though it were an obstacle to overcome. We all know how that [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|turned out]].

==See also==
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

User:Shogun

2011-01-08T00:03:11Z

Shogun:

<center>{{ Template:Asian}}</center>

<center>[[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]]</center>

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!! HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!! HNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I figured that editing CWCki is a waste of time, not to mention being a complete hypocrite when I'm becoming a worse creeper than Chris himself. I guess I will still keep my account though, just in case.

<center>[[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]]</center>

August 2010

2010-08-12T09:27:05Z

Shogun:

'''August [[2010]]''' began quietly, with Chris hooked on [[ModNation Racers]] to the point where it is seemingly bigger than [[LittleBigPlanet]] to him; however, a field agent's account of Chris at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] revealed that Chris's hatred of the [[Hex Bawx]] is taken to a new level when he sees Chris kicking a stall of Xbox 360 games while saying "kick that hex-bawx". Later, [[Bob]] and [[Barb]] (now thinner) are spotted eating at Chick-Fil-A. When leaving, Chris is seen at his creepiest, saying "I love you, Mother" to Barb.

==Events of August 2010==

*6 August - Chris is seen at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] kicking a stall of [[Hex Bawx]] games, and his ancient parents are seen eating at [[Chick-fil-A]].

{{Timeline}}

User:Shogun

2010-07-27T12:15:34Z

Shogun:

<center>{{ Template:Asian}}</center>

<center>[[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]]</center>

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!! HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!! HNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I figured that editing CWCki is a waste of time. Not to mention being a complete hypocrite, being a worse creeper than Chris himself. But then, I guess I will still be keeping my account.

<center>[[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]]</center>

User:Shogun

2010-07-21T08:49:16Z

Shogun:

<center>{{ Template:Asian}}</center>

<center>[[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]]</center>

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!! HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!! HNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--[[User:Shogun|Shogun]] 08:43, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

<center>[[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]]</center>

User:Shogun

2010-07-21T08:47:15Z

Shogun:

<center>{{ Template:Asian}}</center>

<center>[[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]]</center>

'''
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!! SDFAWEORUOIWLFNAS0[3UIWOTFR[W8EOIWAHGASDGNVXCV[0OIWEJKLGFDS\[GHR!!!!!! ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!'''

--[[User:Shogun|Shogun]] 08:43, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

<center>[[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]]</center>

User:Shogun

2010-07-21T08:43:28Z

Shogun:

<center>[[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]]</center>

'''
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!! SDFAWEORUOIWLFNAS0[3UIWOTFR[W8EOIWAHGASDGNVXCV[0OIWEJKLGFDS\[GHR!!!!!! ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!'''

--[[User:Shogun|Shogun]] 08:43, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

<center>[[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]][[File:Dancing.gif‎]]</center>

User:Shogun

2010-07-21T08:39:52Z

Shogun:

<center>[[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]][[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]][[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]][[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]][[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]][[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]][[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]][[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]]</center>

'''
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!! SDFAWEORUOIWLFNAS0[3UIWOTFR[W8EOIWAHGASDGNVXCV[0OIWEJKLGFDS\[GHR!!!!!! ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!'''

--[[User:Shogun|Shogun]] 08:39, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

<center>[[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]][[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]][[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]][[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]][[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]][[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]][[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]][[File:THAT_ONE'S_ON_THE_HOUSE.gif‎]]</center>

User:Shogun

2010-07-21T08:28:04Z

Shogun:

<center>[[Image:Nochian notopher.gif]][[Image:Nochian notopher.gif]][[Image:Nochian notopher.gif]]</center>

{{RageQuote|I NAME IS NOT IAN BRANDON SOMETHING!!!}}
--[[User:Shogun|Shogun]] 08:26, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

User:Shogun

2010-07-21T08:26:24Z

Shogun:

<center>[[Image:Nochian notopher.gif]][[Image:Nochian notopher.gif]]</center>

{{RageQuote|I NAME IS NOT IAN BRANDON SOMETHING!!!}}
--[[User:Shogun|Shogun]] 08:26, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

Random-access humor

2010-07-15T13:16:40Z

Shogun: /* Random ramblings */ you got the flyingelephants quote wrong.

: '''random access''' ''n.''
:: 1. ''(computing)'' type of storage access where arbitrary data can be accessed, as opposed to sequential access (q.v.). ''See also'' random access memory.
:: 2. ''(CWCism)'' non-sequiturial; lacking any coherence.
: '''humor''' ''n.''
:: 1. Something funny.
:: 2. ''(CWCism)'' Something not funny, but which can be made funny through application of random access (q.v.)
[[Image:Wild_Snergen_Flergen.jpg|thumb|Wild Sonichu offers some uproarious Random Access Humor]]
'''Random-access humor''' is [[Chris]]'s terminology for his tendency to blurt out whatever random thought enters his mind, regardless of its relevance to a given situation. Normal human beings might describe this as "[[Wikipedia:Non sequitur|non sequitur]]." The "humor" part of the phrase stems from Christian's assumption that if he says something completely irrelevant and random that it is automatically funny, which is a common fallacy among nerds and retards. At this moment, the strongest portrayal of Chris's random-access humor can be found in his [[CWCFlyingElephants]] video.

Ironically enough, Chris's random-access humor is often unoriginal. Jokes are mostly taken from [[Adult Swim]] shows, ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'', ''[[Family Guy]]'', or even shows like [[Wikipedia:Ed, Edd 'n Eddy|''Ed, Edd n Eddy'']] and [[Wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|''Samurai Pizza Cats'']], making them completely out of context. This shows that, even when Chris doesn't have to make any sense, he still has a hard time coming up with original material. When Chris ''is'' original, it's mostly in the form of childish rhymes or making word-plays. This is due to Chris being a [[Autism papers|"somewhat concrete"]] thinker, having a tough time understanding abstract concepts (including humor). Because of his linear thinking, he has the tendency to take jokes literally (e.g. Bob told Chris a joke about Obama painting the White House black if he won the 2008 election).

The randomosity is also questionable in that the allegedly random jokes are also frequently repeated; Chris keeps ''re-telling'' the same jokes that weren't funny in the first try. (For example, if you are a confused foreigner who has no idea what "Nantucket" is, ''you will Google it soon.'') Chris has specifically stated he actually fears things that are beyond his control,<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User_talk:DariaCamacho User talk:DariaCamacho]</ref> a fear which falls nicely in line with [[autism]].

Chris also uses the term "random-access memory", which is basically when he says something completely random without the intent of being funny. Mostly, he uses these when a conversation is going a direction that he doesn't want to and hopes that interjecting this other thought-line will let him not be reminded (if only briefly) of what a failure he is.

{{quote|Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though, most of the time, I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.|Chris during the [[Father Call]], showing off his mad computer science and neuroscience skills}}

==Random ramblings==

In November [[2007]], in a misguided attempt to help [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] to get to know him better and stop trolling him, Christian added the following to his ED page:

<blockquote>
----

Each Brain in every person in the world is a computer, complete with an InfiniteGB RAM...Emphasis on Random, and our [[Christian Weston Chandler|Autistic Hero]] is no exception. Here are some of his ramblings that can make him comparable to the TV-Talking-styles of those retarded robots, the [[Transformers Generation 1|Junkeons]]...

{{quote| -"Carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?"<ref>Originally said by Ed; originated from Ed Edd n Eddy episode [http://www.tv.com/ed-edd-n-eddy/one-plus-one-equals-ed/episode/117706/summary.html "One Plus One Equals Ed"]</ref>
 -"[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM:|Uncle Spunky is a Funky Monkey]]."
 -"[[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]]."
 -"All aboard, here we go, let's go...somewhere else."
 -"[[CWCFlyingElephants|I once knew a man from Nantucket, and he had on his head a silly bucket.]]"
 -"I'm gonna call my lawer, his name is Tom Seywer, he has a daughter named Sue, who has been visiting her Uncle Sam for many years. Poor Tom."
 -"I knew a nose from the Pocanose, but then he ran away to Snotsvillvania."
 -"Quiet everybody, Emperor Fred has an announcement...FRED."<ref>From the US-dubbed version of Samurai Pizza Cats. Emperor Fred only said his name because he had "had his wisdom teeth removed."</ref>
 -"[[BILLY MAYS|Call 'Right Now']], and we'll send you a beautiful girl to be your [[Sweetheart]], FREE. But you'd better call 'Right Now', or otherwise you'll get bupkis. And believe me, you do not want bupkis. Welcome to Bupkistown."
 -"Welcome to the Novelty Shop, this is [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], how can I help you?...Okay, we can do that."
 -"Well get out of here. What are you waiting on? I'm gonna chase you outta here."<ref>Originally said by Meatwad; originated from ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' episode [http://athf.frostillusions.net/transcripts/oldrippy.html "Ol' Drippy"]</ref>
 -"[[Flipnote Hatena|You've got a Hippo on your head.]]"
 -"[[Transformers]]. Robots on your head. Okay."
 -"I'm upside-down in a car, drivin' my way to the grocery store."<ref name="brak"> From [[Adult Swim|''The Brak Show'']] episode [http://members.fortunecity.com/brakshow/newbrak.html "The New Brak"] </ref>
 -"I have bow-ties on my feet, I must be walking with my neck."<ref name="brak"/>
 -"Root-de-do-de-do. Stop saying 'Root-de-do-de-do,' that's my bit, get your own. Oh, okay, how about 'Spling-ling, bling-ling, splee-de-de-le-deee?'"<ref name="brak"/>
 -"What? Pod six doesn't need a Pro Shop, they need a dentist. <ref>''Sealab 2021'' episode "Legend of Baggy Pants" (Pod Six was another pod that was part of the lab. Captain Murphy referred to them as "[[JERKS|jerks]]")</ref>"
 -"Is this [[Wes Iseli|Walter Grisby]]? Who threw a frisbee? Well you know what?"

|Chris-Chan|}}

I Watch TOO MUCH FUCKING TELEVISION!!!
----

</blockquote>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Punchy]] - A fighting electric hedgehog Pokémon who is implied to be the master of RAH, although, so far, he hasn't shown it.
*[[Monty Python]] - Actual masters of RAH, whom Chris unsuccessfully tried to emulate.
*[[CWCFlyingElephants]]
*[[I Got A Fish]]
*[[Bunny Hop]]
*[[Yellow is a Mellow Color]]
*[[Christian's Sex Joke]] - A staple of Chris's repertoire.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Monthly tugboat

2010-07-03T13:51:24Z

Shogun:

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|Yet AGAIN I am waiting for my next tugboat from my Social before I can even pay a Website to Host me and grant me a better .com domain name than sonichu.com|Chris to [[Miyamoto]], complaining about how long his free money is taking}}

[[Image:Monthly_Tugboat.jpg|thumb|right|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]

The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s euphemism for his [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|Social Security Disability Insurance]] check. Essentially, the United States government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support disabled individuals whose injuries or ailments leave them unable to work.

Chris receives roughly $800 each month, with $450 going to his parents for room and board. The rest of it generally goes towards [[List of Chris's video games|video games]] or [[sex toys|straight up his ass]]. However, $350 per month is nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for games, porn, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of Chicken McNuggets, and, as of recent, alcohol. As of [[2009#July|July 2009]], he owed at least $2000 in credit-card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents.

Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting his taxpayer-funded tugboat, because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing his useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy. This is a tremendous leap of faulty rationalization, even for Chris, and he fails to elaborate on his shaky economic theories in any detail. If you thought he didn't understand money before, [[Chris and Money|you ain't seen nothing yet]].

On the advice of his [[Bob Chandler|father]], Chris doesn't get a job because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob is somewhat wrong. To put this in perspective, at the time of writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180 on his life and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth monthly, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, as in, for more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $4,200 Chris pulls annually from the government after paying off his parents (roughly equal to what he's spent in total so far on his PS3); it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement comes from either delusion or knowing that his son is a [[fail]]ure.

In the [[Father Call|father call]], Chris claims that his disability check is "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out". Clearly, Chris doesn't believe wasting his disability check on video games and porn will somehow aid in his moving out. He is well aware that he will inherit his family's home and that he will never need to work, and he plans to do both. In other words, Chris plans to keep getting his tugboat for the rest of his life.

Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his 80s, given reasonable "cost of living" increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $900,000 to $1,000,000 over his lifetime (In this day and age however, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career). However, it's extremely unlikely that his fat ass will live anywhere near that long.

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and money]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Chris and money

2010-07-03T13:49:57Z

Shogun: revised some sentences.

{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

It's obvious that [[Chris]] himself has no grasp on the real value of '''money''', since he actively wastes as much of his [[monthly tugboat]] as possible on luxuries like [[Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[PS3|video games]], and, more recently, [[alcohol]]. He also once, when giving out the laws of [[CWCville]], equated 10 years in prison to a $1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated 50 hours of community service to $500 (for any sexual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer. His [[PSN]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' PS3 game that he's ever purchased, and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost at least about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris buys his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed! ==

Chris is what most would call a welfare leech. Chris's only source of income is the $800 [[monthly tugboat|"tugboat"]] that he receives from the federal government every month, placing his annual income at $9,600 a year. Chris's parents take $450 to pay for room and board.<ref>Miyamoto Saga</ref> In addition, Chris and his family get [[Wikipedia:Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program|SNAP]] money every month- more commonly known as food stamps.

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. |Chris, completely deluded.}}

[[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] has been encouraging his son to remain unemployed, since he believes that Chris will earn more money from his monthly tugboat than from getting a job. However, this assumption is inaccurate. To put this in perspective, at the time of writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180 on his life and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth monthly, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, as in, for more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $4,200 Chris pulls annually from the government after paying off his parents (roughly equal to what he's spent in total so far on his PS3); it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement comes from either delusion or knowing that his son is a [[fail]]ure.

Chris strongly believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless shit he is aiding the economy and paying for the tugboat of others.<ref>[[Mailbag 34]]</ref> Again, this demonstrates his idiocy since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with federal payroll tax. Apparently, this is too complex for Chris's autistic mind. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond.

==Credit cards==
As surprising as it is that Chris has his own credit cards, it is equally unsurprising how unwisely he uses them. Chris has managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the PSN store, but his bill for PSN downloads increases by the day) and has even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his were maxed out. Being the greedy twat that he is, when Chris finally does make payments towards his debts, he always does so in the smallest installments possible, freeing himself to spend as much as he has (or more) on worthless shit, entirely oblivious to the fact that he's only increasing his debt by letting interest charges rack up. Economists are currently working on the theory that it is Chris's debts, not the collapse of financial institutions, which have caused the current global financial crisis.

==In the comic==
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely, all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris IRL. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the American populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of $3,500 a month just to hang around.

This, along with what else we know about [[CWCville]], could mean that Chris is a communist, or at the very least, a socialist. Of course, he's most likely too much of a retard to actually know what that means.

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually uses its own currency, in the form of C Quarters, W Quarters, and C Quarters. 10 C Quarters make up a W Quarter, and 10 W Quarters make up a C Quarter. Don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, especially considering what the word "quarter" means.

==In other works==
Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American Social Security system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. |Chris with a very bad idea...}}

Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" in [[Mailbag 20]] as a building ten stories tall with 10 to 20 rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, bed, lighting and Cable TV. Of course, the homeless will stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in CWCville, there are around 1,000-2,000 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and bevy of Rosechus stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that CWCville has had to open 7 new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things.

In [[Mailbag 29]] he states that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp (which would be a redundant middleman in a state-approved brothel), pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free Sex Ed classes for virgins. In real life, Chris tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him.

== On TV ==

In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money.

Chris also seems to not understand that [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|if the health department, of Greene County, sees that TV show, that he put on the damn TV, they could be evicted, and he would have to move out]].

==See also==
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Fridays After Five

2010-06-21T07:09:24Z

Shogun: /* Chris sighting */

[[Image:Fa5 2colorlogo.jpg|thumb|100px|Chris's new [[attraction Location|prowling ground]]]]
'''Fridays After Five''' is a large block party/concert that takes place in [[Charlottesville]] from spring until fall. [[Chris]] was video recorded there, [[C-Ya Later|enjoying real life for once]].

==First Mentioning==

Chris first mentioned Fridays After Five in a [[6 June 2010|video]] explaining his near hit-and-run with [[The GAMe PLACe]] manager [[Michael Snyder]]. Based upon this knowledge, the manchild has been attending the event since at least 4 June 2010.

==Chris sighting==
[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|left|You know he's [[straight]] because his [[bra]] says so.]]
[[Image:Chrisgirl1.jpg|thumb|Chris trying to pick up a [[boyfriend-free girl]].]]
[[Image:Dancing.gif|right]]
On 18 [[June 2010]], Chris went to one of these events and a good samaritan ([[YouTube]] name [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]) took these videos and pictures of him out in public. According to the author, Chris wore a T-shirt that says "I Enjoy [[Vagina]]" and was wearing a "[[gay]] circular thing" on his hip which is most likely his [[PokeWalker of Fail|PokéWalker]]. At some point Chris pulled back his crude shirt to reveal his [[obesity|flabby gut]] and [[muscle bra|female support wear]], which he had apparently seen fit to write "[[Love Quest|WANT WOMAN!]]" on with permanent marker. Note the apparent, inexplicable (knowing Chris) absence of the [[Medallion_of_Fail|Medallion of Fail]] - although it could have been removed just temporarily in order to simplify the (probably planned) act of pulling back the shirt.

Chris's clothing indicates he is looking to put a new twist on his [[Love_Quest|old tricks]]. Like the [[Attraction_sign|attraction sign]], Chris is shown making a point to display the writing on his clothing, declaring that he "enjoys vagina" and "wants woman". This is yet another example that this [[autistic]] man-child does not learn from the mistakes of his past. Also, the videos filmed at this event mostly showed the back of Chris's head, which shows a small but emerging [[bald]] spot.

Besides exposing his covered bosom to potential [[sweetheart]]s - mostly [[pedofork|severely underage]] - Chris spent his time at the event [[Flipnote Hatena|drawing flipnotes]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi, and trying to dance with a disturbing mix of Chicken Dance and [[autism]].

It is unlikely that Chris was aware of being photographed, which proves that all these actions are Chris's idea of being normal. When Chris eventually realized (or it seemed so) he was being observed, he suddenly disappeared like Batman.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:100 0669.JPG|The return of the King.
File:100 0670.JPG|[[100 2178|All alone.]]
File:100 0671.JPG|Fuck yeah! A [[gal-pal]]!
File:100 0673.JPG|The gal pal's gone...
File:100 0674.JPG|Oh! Potential new gal-pals!
File:100 0676.JPG|Creepy...
File:100 0677.JPG|...fucking...
File:100 0678.JPG|...scene.
File:100 0681.JPG|Eventually, an urgent need to <s>play some vidya</s> [[Flipnote Hatena|DRAW SOME SHIT]] prevails.
File:100 0682.JPG|Chris enjoying the real world. Also, DAT ASSCRACK.
File:100 0683.JPG|Chris has a deep conversation with an 8 year old.
File:100 0693.JPG|A wide shot.
File:100 0694.JPG|A close-up of Chris. Notice that he hasn't bothered to fully remove his shirt.
File:100 0695.JPG|Chris showing off his muscular bosom.
File:100 0696.JPG|LOOK AT THAT GUT GODDAMN
File:100_0697.JPG|Chris trying to look sexy for Da Ladies.
</gallery>
</center>

==Videos==

{{collapsible
|Videos of Chris in a public place, a rare sight.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = manchild
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J4dib0pmpjE}}
| Stardate = 18 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0690.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tbU7ao0i-Ew}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0691.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dDlJ-ZY5Opk}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0692.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vdibt4Ll2gs}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
*[[Flipnote Hatena]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Rollin' and Trollin']]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?nkhrmmtjymg Download]

[[Category:Social life]]

Piedmont Virginia Community College

2010-06-18T21:28:19Z

Shogun: /* Kicked out of college */

''For other uses of "PVCC", see [[PVCC|the disambiguation page]].''

[[Image:RealPVCCLogo.jpg|thumb|The public education system has failed us miserably...]]

'''Piedmont Virginia Community College''', the realm of the evil witch [[Mary Lee Walsh]], is the educational institution where [[Chris]] earned an associate's degree in Applied Science and a CADD certificate. He also made the Dean's List, or so he claims.<ref>"I earned two degrees in Computer Aided Drafting and Design at Piedmont Virginia Community College, and made the Dean's List." [[Miyamoto Saga]].</ref> Walsh, in her role as student dean, gave Chris a difficult time on his [[Love Quest]] and at points shattered his heart, lowering its [[heart level|level]] to nearly zero. Chris took revenge in his own inimitable fashion, making her into a character in his [[comic]]s: the evil witch in command of the villainous group known as the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

==Kicked out of English==
[[Image:Matchdotcom1.jpeg|thumb|For reference, this is what Chris wore to college.]]
During an [[English]] class, when he realized that "Wednesday's Child" is a story about an autistic girl who [[Death threats|brutally murders people]], Chris told his ''[[JERKS|male]]'' professor that by golly, he is autistic too! This allegedly resulted in Chris's ejection from that class on 24 [[February 2003]], Chris's 21st birthday. According to Chris, the reason was the professor's misunderstanding and fear of [[autism]]. Chris cried and later passed the course when he retook it with a ''female'' professor.

Other than reinforcing Chris's hate of men, this event is what inspired Chris to begin his Love Quest.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

There is more to this story than Chris lets on: "He finally admitted that it was during a group session and the topic of [[homosexuality]] was brought up. ... He said something derogatory about gays or said something in an inappropriate way about them."

==Kicked out of college==
The college itself is intolerant of those who are love questing, and makes extra effort to cockblock any males on its campus by brutally censoring any signs that show the least bit of interest in romance.

By mid-[[October 2003]], Chris had been using his [[Attraction Sign]] for two months without success. Mary Lee Walsh, under the impression that Chris was soliciting sex, seized the sign, yelled at him in a very violent manner, and harshly criticized his methods. Chris made a new sign, only to see Walsh sabotage his plot once again a few weeks later. This served only to make Chris [[virgin with rage|rage]] and spam the college with his [[Sonichu's News Dash]] newsletter. As a result, Walsh gave Chris a stern lecture, banned him from PVCC for a year, made him take an anger management course, and forced him to see a shrink.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>

To make matters worse, PVCC is largely considered something of a joke, even by other local community colleges. So Chris basically didn't just fail at community college; he failed at a community college that failed at being a community college.

==Graduation==
After spending four years on a course of study that normally takes only two, Chris graduated with an associate's degree in Applied Science and a [[CADD]] certificate.

Compared to his [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|high school graduation]], he didn't seem to give a fuck. Of note, Chris wore not only his Sonichu Medallion, but his [[honor roll]] sash from high school underneath his gown, yet another sign that he can not move on from high school.

Chris was so disappointed on his graduation that it eventually spawned [[Count Graduon]].

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0710-CWCCollGrad1.jpg|Graduation
Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|You think this was Chris on his college graduation? No, this is from high school.
Image:0711-CWCCollGrad2.jpg|No, THIS is Chris at his college graduation. Such is his disdain for college, he's wearing the [[medallion]] and the same shirt of fail he draws himself in.
Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|Chris couldn't care less and he disrobed himself like a little kid.
Image:0714-PVCCCaddDeg2.jpg|His Associate of Applied Science degree.
Image:0713-PVCCCaddDeg1.jpg|His CADD '''certificate'''. Chris insists this is a degree but the Commonwealth of Virginia begs to differ.
Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|"Student featured in ''[[Nintendo Power]]''"
</gallery>
</center>

==PVCC as viewed by Chris==
Christian Weston Chandler refers to Piedmont Virginia Community College as the '''Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens''' (or, [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|on one occasion]], as '''Piedmont Virginity College''') due to the simmering grudge he holds against the school. Within the context of his [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] comics, Christian has characterized the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens as the headquarters for for the collective activities of the supervillains of [[CWCville]].

As you can imagine, when the troll message boards were created, [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|it just had to be christened with this name]].

==See also==
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]

==Sauce==
<references />

==External links==
{{CWCipedia}}
*[[Wikipedia:Piedmont Virginia Community College|Wikipedia article on PVCC]]
*[http://www.pvcc.edu/ PVCC website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:Places]]

05142010

2010-05-20T22:30:06Z

Shogun:

{{Rename}}

'''05142010''' is a 15 [[May 2010]] video where [[Chris]] bores his [[fanbase]] by discussing the [http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/05/sports/05lacrosse.html murder of college lacrosse player Yeardley Love]. Love attended the [[University of Virginia]] located in [[Charlottesville]], which seems to be the only reason why Chris knows of or [[Chris and death|pretends to care]] about her.

In the past, Chris has stated that he's willfully ignorant of current events (in one of his [[IRC (22 December 2008)|IRC fan chats]], he explained that he hates "bad news") and hearing him discuss something of national interest is a rarity. After this, he goes on to blame the [[trolls]] and [[autism]] for his problems with females.

In this video, a new shirt emerges which seems to say "I got what I deserve." However the last word is partially illegible due to it being stuck between his ever-expanding rolls of stomach [[obesity|fat]] and his man tits.

Also of note in this video is the shocking realization that "women will not fall into [his] lap"-- an event which he has counted on happening for years. Confirmation that Chris is getting [[Rocky|outside help]]? We may never know.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 05142010
| video = {{#ev:youtube|IThZIRAMNbc}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 2010]]
| subject = {{Autism|Life}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100_2178]]
| next = [[Some Favored Comedians]]
}}

==Transcript==

[''A loud fan is humming in the background.'']

[[Captain's log]], the 14th of, uh May, 2010. [''adjusts his glasses''] I would like to take this, uh, brief moment to... talk about, uh, a loca- local... recent events. Like, uh, yeah, I understand... recen- I understand recently that there was a girl who was, uh, murdered at UVA by her ex-boyfriend. She was on the lacrosse team. [''glasses removal''] It was very sad... for a- for a woman. He just kicked the door in and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|banged her head against the wall]], and totally ruined her right side and- right side of her head. She died from that.

And then she- and then he [[Chris and English|tooked]] her computer, 'cause apparently there was some... there was an email on there that he sent her. And he didn't want that to get out. Sure it got out by now. [''pause''] That's very sad. I h- and I, uh, hope that- I hope that, if they haven't done so already, that the lacrosse team for UV- for UVA... wins, in memory of that- in memory of that girl.

And yeah, it was not an accident. He- as, as so that the, uh, dude claims to say as it was. 'Cause if he had not- if he had no intention of killing her, he would- he would not have banged her against the wall. No accident. He should get a whole- he should get [[Chris and the Law|like 20 years in jail. That's what he deserves for that.]] He deserves jail time and hard time... banging rocks, making license plates. So he can repay... [[Monthly tugboat|debt to society]] for... the ''shock'' from this girl's murder.

And also, uh... yeah, uh, also the other events around the world, uh... yeah, slip my mind right now, but... I am- well, I do watch the news. And, uh, when I have a thought about a recent event I feel is of, uh... good tal- of, uh, worth my talkin' about, then I will. I will record it, and I will... talk about it.

And also, yeah. [[Autism]] another- a little mention about that from my point of view. Uh, ap- apparently, uh, not- not just- uh, the fact that we are unable to soc- unable to socialize... but at least from my point of view, uh... in a crowded- in a crowded event or section, very crowded, where it's not easy for me to [[Chris and his ego|get much attention]]... I- I just wa- I just likely tend to freeze up vocally. I, uh, I can pretty much, uh, do [[Chris Loses It|body language]] fair enough, but it's like... can't get a word out... of my throat. Even, not even so much as a hello.

[''puts his fist to his forehead, apparently [[stress]]ed'']

[[Lie|I am not a bad man]]. I am not- have no... [[Chris and rape|intention]]- uh, anything [[Chris and anger|negative]] of [[Death threats|that sort]]. I'm just ver- I'm just... damn [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shy]] from the autism. Freezing me up. And I am working on that. I just... need he- I just need help from... my-- I just need help from my fr- from my [[Megan|''real'' friends]], [[Clyde Cash|real people]]... 'Cause I can't just expect... women that fall into my lap like that. I mean, if was that easy, then- if it was that easy, then... at this point, especially over the Internet... [[Blanca|Definitely]] [[PandaHalo|be]] [[Julie|an]] [[Ivy|action]] [[Kacey|of]] [[Vanessa Hudgens|a]] [[Sydney Contacts|troll]], so... I can tell- I can tell the difference right there.

Made me [[Virginia is for Virgins|paranoid]]... you did... damn trolls.

[''puts his glasses back on''] Leave you all with that for today, and, uhh... wait 'til another day when I have another thought about recent events. [''flashes the victory sign, then reaches to turn off the camera''] Have a good day.

==References==
<references />

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2178]]|nextlink=[[Some Favored Comedians]]}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2010-05-15]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

05142010

2010-05-15T20:33:04Z

Shogun:

{{Rename}}

'''05142010''' is a 15 [[May 2010]] video where [[Chris]] bores his fanbase by discussing the [[death]] of a girl he never met, and goes on to blame the trolls and autism for his problems with females.

In this video, a new shirt emerges. The shirt seems to say "I got what I deserve," however the last word is partially illegible due to it being stuck between his rolls of [[McDonalds|fat]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 05142010
| video = {{#ev:youtube|IThZIRAMNbc}}
| stardate = 15 May 2010
| subject = {{Autism|Life}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = I GOT WHAT I DESERVE
| previous = [[100_2178]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcription==

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2178]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

==References==
<references />

100 2178

2010-05-15T20:32:41Z

Shogun:

{{Rename}}

'''100 2178.MOV''' is a 8 [[May 2010]] video in which [[Chris]], lonely and lost at the bottom of a depression-well, reflects on the [[FAIL|state]] of his life.

He made this video after coming home alone from an EXTREME ACTION SPORTS show to which he had won four tickets from a radio call-in contest. He could not find anyone else to go with him, even after he called the members of his Church's Young Adult Social Group, so he was forced to scalp the tickets in front of the stadium and then sit alone in the bleachers beside a "lovey-dovey couple" (who probably haven't even got a [[I_Pimp_My_Ride.MOV|pimped out PS3 controller]]) while handsomer, happier, less [[autistic]] men did flips on motorcycles for the roaring crowd. This situation causes Chris to reflect introspectively on his life, or at the very least complain about the latest faults that have occurred since he and [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]] broke apart.

Chris inexplicably blames the Greene County school board (which tried to pull him out of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] when he was a child) for heading a conspiracy to keep him in his "autistic shell" — first by supposedly trying to institutionalize him for being autistic then, after many years with no interaction with him, going so far as to pay a realtor more than $18,000 <ref>A rough estimate of a realtor's fee assuming a home value of $300,000 and a commission rate of 6%. [http://www.trulia.com/property/1082709830-68-Branchland-Ct-Ruckersville-VA-22968| The average home price in the area today is about $319,000] and [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/05/11/60minutes/main2790865.shtml| a realtor's commission would be 6% of that].</ref> to keep his [[14 Branchland Court|family's house]] in Ruckersville from selling so that his family would have to move back to a town where he had fewer friends after high school. The facts that about 19 other students in the district were also autistic <ref>Assuming autism is distributed uniformly, that [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:US-autism-6-17-1996-2007.png| roughly 1%] of the population was autistic, and that there were 2,000 students in the Green County school district at the time. [http://www.localschooldirectory.com/district-schools/039/Greene-County-Public-Schools-District/VA| There are about 2,850 today.]</ref> and weren't paid special attention to by the school board, that every member of the that board works a full-time job and many also have children, that none of them would have the motivation to [[Troll|hound]] Chris for a decade; and that all his supposed friends from Chesterfield County have long since moved on with their lives, are now similarly indisposed, and would have nothing to gain by spending time with him even if they all lived right next door naturally do not occur to Chris.

Using the board as a not-so-convenient excuse to ignore the fact that he himself is the only consistent factor in his unbroken series of failures, he goes on to muse that they bribed [[Michael Snyder]] (years later again) to ban him from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. (There is no "evidence" yet linking them to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the [[Jerkops]], or the 15,000 some-odd people of Greene County who somehow spontaneously decided not to be Chris's friends for no reason.) Chris seems to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew" [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|a la Cartman]], stopping after "greedy". He ends the video by wishing that they, Michael Snyder, and the [[trolls]] would all go to hell for playing [[Kick the Autistic]].

Perhaps coincidentally, the video was uploaded sixteen years to the day since [[Bob]]'s case against Greene County was thrown out of court.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2178.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|VwCldRr0kDc}}
| stardate = 08 May 2010
| subject = {{Autism|Life}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{OrangeSleeveless|text}}
| previous = [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]
| next = [[05142010]]
}}

==Transcription==

[''Chris sits in the dark in front of his TV, which is turned off. He is visible only in silhouette. A fan hums in the background.'']

This is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], alias ''[[Christopher]]'' Weston Chandler, pre [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|1990-something]]. Anyway, I-I have sent this message to all the peo- ...ple that were of the [[Greene County]] School Board... and such... during the [[1990s]]... because... Threatening to put me in a mental institution. That was pretty much why we had to run away... and move to Chesterfield County, and I had better life over there, I had a lo- I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just ''sad'' to leave, when I, after I graduated. 'Cause I had to leave all my friends. I had the good life. But we were forced to move back here.

You people of Greene County, you could not have left us, uh, left me and my family alone. You had to go and pay off the realtors, just so, this h- so that this house here could not have been sold. If it, 'cause if it had been sold, we would have been able to stay in Chesterfield County. [''[[sigh]]''] And I would have been ha- I would have had a lot- a happier life over there, than right now and how I'm feeling. If, right now, because we ha- 'cause we were forced to move back here because of you goddamn... people who were afraid of [[autistic]] individuals.

[''[[sigh]]'']

You individuals would know who you are. I wish my family and I did not have to move back here. I wish we could have stayed in Chesterfield County, 'cause I had the better life there. And we were doing we- we were doing well, but you had to drag us down! You had to make us unable to sell our house here. You had to ''force'' my family to move back here, where I was OK and I have a couple of friends, and I'm better off with... [''Voice cracks, shakes arm to gesture at room.''] '''stuff.'''

That stuff is no good if I don't have, if I don't have many friends to share it with. [''Chokes back tears.'']

And it all just went downhill. I bet, even Greene County had something to do with influencing that goddamn [[Michael Snyder]] to see f- to see any... so recourse... or... anything like that to make him pretend to have a reason to [[kick]] me out, quote-unquote "''scaaaaring'' his customers away!" [''Flips off the camera'']You goddamn, greedy... ''Snyder''!

[[Image:Yasg.jpg|thumb|left|The Young Adult Social Group offers Chris a solution.]]

I was at the John Paul Jones Arena earlier tonight, at the Extreme Action Sports. I had won four tickets the previous Friday, Friday of the last week, from 95.1. The few [[Trolls|friends]] I have here could not have come- could not come with me, and I could not even find anyone in the congregation to take- to go with me. 'Cause I misplaced directory for one reason. And even with the help of, uh, my pastoral counselor to get in contact with them, they did not call- none of them called me back!

And I had to sell the... tickets I had, and I had to sit there next to a... lovey-dovey couple. [''His voice begins to crack.''] Which, that was OK, you know, I was trying to be... good- I was trying to be good friend, you know... [''scratches back of head''] Sociable. [''sigh''] But still, if that was... If I had stayed in Chesterfield County, and I would- and I had a similar situation for an event there... I would definitely have had my friends I had there. Moving back here, it just dragged me downhill. So I tell you what, Greene County... Because you saw fit to make- to make me and my family have to move back here, just to make me sad, and move more into my Autistic Shell: ''you did it''.

If I had stayed in Chesterfield County, I would have been a whole lot better off. I wish you would, I wish you would have let us sell our house here. We could have stayed there. I wish you had- I wish we did not have to move back to [''sigh''] I wish we did not have to move back here nearly ten years ago.

[[Image:Wild.png|thumb|Sit and spin.]]

Laugh all you want, trolls! Because... I don't ''give'' a damn. You're all just immature, [[naive]], [[Chris and his Ego|condescending]], [[Patti|soulless]] [[sonichu|''monsters.'']] [[Chris and hypocrisy|You don't ''care'' about others, you only care about yourselves. You only care about getting your own laughs and kicks, because you don't h- you don't have your own social life!]] You [[Death threats|threaten]] me from ha- from trying to seek one of my own, by scaring me on the Internet and whatnot.

Including Clyde Cash, you can all go to hell. And all da people that were on the Greene County School Board during the 1990s then that forced us to have to move back here, '''sit and spin...''' Hell.

And Michael Snyder, I hope you go to Hell, too!

And for everybody el-, as for everybody else... Peace.
{{-}}
===Michael Snyder Replies===
{{quotebox|When I go to hell, I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk.
Signed,
That goddam Michael Snyder}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Michael Snyder is cold hearted and mean
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ZMc4wFuH1WQ}}
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/clydespickle clydespickle]
| Stardate = 11 May 2010
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Michael Snyder cant see me fap
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Y4zdY5VRbnw}}
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/clydespickle clydespickle]
| Stardate = 15 May 2010
}}

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]|nextlink=[[05142010]]}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

==References==
<references />

Son-Chu

2010-05-11T06:46:02Z

Shogun:

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|200px|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]
[[Image:License.jpg|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a license to kill (though through his ineptitude in operating a 3-ton mobile weapon)|thumb]]
'''Son-Chu''' (aka '''The Sonichu Mobile''') is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple ''disconcerting'' issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the Department of Motor Vehicles has nevertheless given him a full permission to drive a [[Sonichu Special 4|motor vehicle to be used in a plan to commit aggravated assault]]. DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment.

Members of PVCC believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]].
Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding on [[Little Big Planet|more important]] [[McDonalds|things]] [[Guitar Hero|to spend his money on]], despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.<ref>[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.<ref>[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

==Backstory==
Since Chris jerks off to [[Transformers]], he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool Sportin', Escortin' Car."<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Son-Chu</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when Decepti-Clones attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the Cwcville Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.
}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other Transformers rip-offs, though.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being [[Autism|a high functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. Yes, Chris actually does take up spaces meant for people who are ''really'' disabled.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear.

==Vanity plate==

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]," thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. Ever. This habit of having a family plate stems from family. [[Bob]] has a vanity plate reading UN4EVER (apparently a support for the UN) and IB MR C (I be Mr. C, as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]) and [[Barb]] has one named B WESTON (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanity_plate#North_America</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper Stickers==
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded bumper stickers. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world-views and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* Sonichu window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for the old tripod website, what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both Sonic and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the Sonichu title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music - A bumper sticker for a local record shop where Chris probably gets his [[Chris and music|used Britney Spears]] from.
* An American Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in 2001, during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "Autism. Work For A Cure" - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. The sticker is a paragon of failure. How is "Autism" a sentence? Do you think it can be "Cured" rather than treated? What are you doing to "Work For A Cure"? Why is "A" capitalized?
* "Come Play With Me!" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for "[[The GAMe PLACe]]". We are sure that they appreciate his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. [[Honor roll]] my ass.
Image:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).
Image:VanityPlateComic.jpg|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]]
Image:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG| Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3| Mecca]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
*[[Car Pranks]]
*[[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Homos

2010-05-11T05:02:13Z

Shogun: /* Evidence that Chris is a homo */

{{quote|Homo males are objectionable, VERY objectionable (I hate them!)
|Chris<ref>[[CWC Update 30 January 2009]]</ref>
}}
[[Image:Homobad.jpg|thumb|'''STAY STRAIGHT!''']]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively by the pejorative term "'''homos'''". He doesn't like them very much.

From the very beginning of his internet fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been the subject of many [[lulz]] and the target of many [[trolls]].

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie. Note the kid on the left staring at Chris.]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

[[Image:What_Chris_thinks_he_looks_like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]].]]
Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag 4]]</ref> Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his retarded [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using stupid shit such as the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy. His attitude could be explained by one of four possibilities:

# Chris is a heterosexual idiot, so he thinks the slightest thing could turn him gay unless he maintains constant vigilance.
# Chris is a repressed homosexual, so he ''knows'' the slightest thing could turn him gay, because he can barely resist the temptation.
# Chris is bisexual, yet his underdeveloped mind fails to grasp the fact that there's actually such a thing as male bisexuality, so he thinks that people really ''can'' choose their sexual preference, and that giving in to his feelings towards other males will automatically turn him gay.
# Chris is asexual and has no primal instincts attracting him to girls, so he must consciously go out of his way to stay straight and avoid becoming a homo.

We don't yet have enough information to determine which of these is true, and we won't until he kisses a man on the lips (currently scheduled for [[2010]]). Of course we have to consider (because Chris won't) the small point that anyone, gay or straight, man or [[China|woman]], white or [[Niggo|black]], would most likely rather clean his or her genitals with sandpaper than touch Chris.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay (this, despite the fact that women are likely jealous of the fact that men don't have to worry about Chris being attracted to them). He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 02 January 2009, Chris made this statement:
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

He added that gay men should be incarcerated in co-ed prisons with other female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|March 10]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.

On 14 June 2009, he created a video called [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of Uncle Ruckus's song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from the pilot episode of ''The Boondocks.''

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called "[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]", and insisted that he likes gays who "ac—...accomplish other things, like Stephen Fry who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than LBP), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian." He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself. It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but god forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/</ref>
{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call gay a synonym for stupid.

In the mailbag section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). Chris intended to bring at least two syringes of the solution back, one for [[Reldnahc]], and the other for emergencies (likely to be used on either himself, [[Magi-Chan]], or [[Megagi]]). Thanks to Chris's crippling insecurity about his sexuality, when this storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

Spoiler: because Chris is straight as a circle (as shown [[Homos#Evidence_that_Chris_is_a_homo|here]]), the vaccine would fail to work anyway.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCkipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''Family Guy'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's Audiobooks, BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris, <ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links WikiSysop User Talk: The New Ad-Links ]</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, 2009, the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year 2010, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that ''[[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|Avatar]]'' was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts — in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On January 5th, Chris responded a [[mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When founded evidence of homosexuality in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily. It is worth noticing that, like Chris, good chaps like Hitler and Mussolini had a similar approach when addressing the homosexual lifestyle. Chris also apparently fails to notice that by having Magi-chan constantly reading people's mind would infringe the most important and basic of human rights: the right of freedom of thinking. He also fails to realize that having Magi-chan scan CWCville for gay thoughts would end in Chris getting arrested due to the fact that he says he has random images of penises appear in his head.

Then, on January 7th, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, 2003 just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos stems from him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban of homosexuals in the American Armed Forces. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]".
{{clear}}

==Evidence that Chris is a homo==
[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]
[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies, [[Mailbag 4]]}}

[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]
[[Image:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|thumb|Chris, this really ain't helping ya out...]]
[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Ironically, the harder Chris tries to convince people he's straight, the more gay he appears.]] He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!" every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.

*Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat", including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7]]</ref>

*Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9]]</ref>

* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as a gift.

* Chris gets upset that people know he has the vibrator and anal beads, and he gets upset that people think he's gay because he kept the vibrator and anal beads... but he never gets upset that the store sent him the vibrator and anal beads in the first place. You would think that if a troll sent him a dildo he'd be throwing a fit about it on [[YouTube]], but no.

* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.

* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then [[Lie|immediately denies it's been up his butt]]. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."

* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood. 'Nuff said.

* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|guzzle a lot of cum]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own semen]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.

* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.

* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.

* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|February 05 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.

* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.

* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|closeup picture of his anus]].

* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].

* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.

* Chris says he is the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|King of All Cosmos]], with the Cosmo being the pink drink originating from San Francisco associated with ''Sex and the City'', and gay men everywhere. Additionally, the namesake Katamari character not only vomits rainbows as a mode of transportation, but wears open-chested shirts and colorful tights that show off his Liefeld-esque MASSIVE AREA.

* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.

* [[Axe]], frequently used by gay men, is Chris's grooming product of choice.

*He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is a song with large gay following.

* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the Backstreet Boys, one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song and one cover of a Ricky Martin song. This music was popular among 13 year old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.

* Chris sure talks a lot about things "out his ass," such as "lying out [his] ass" when saying "''[[BILLY MAYS]] IS THE NEW MAYOR OF CWCVILLE.''"

* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]]

* He implores men to wear [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|muscle bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On braziers|Mailbag 55]]</ref> <ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag 55]]</ref>, possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.

* He saved a [[No More Jokes|homoerotic image]] to his computer, and then made a series of movies about it.

* When you look up "'''Homosexuality'''" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).

* In addition, the article for Homosexuality was created August 8th, 2009. The article for [[Rosechu|Rosechu]], a major character in his comics, wouldn't be created until 6 months later.

* In the [[PS3 History Level|PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of ''Sex and the City: The Movie'' (which has a huge gay following) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.

* While narrating the [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] Chris called PandaHalo his "partner," a term sometimes used by gays and lesbians to refer to the person they're dating.

* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves tossing them into a garbage bin inside him, lest the gay gene take its toll.

* Chris reacts to Alec Benson Leary's [[Asperchu]] comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.

* In [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!‎]], Chris wore a kilt, apparently in honor of St. Patrick's Day, because [[Fail|there's no better way of celebrating the patron saint of Ireland than wearing traditional Scottish garb]]. When threatening [[Surfshack Tito]], he kicked high up in the air, clearly showing us his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|briefs]]. (Could've been worse, [[April 16 Fetish Vids|a LOT worse.]])

* In a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|recent video]], Chris was wearing a shirt with the text "[[Chris and sex|mount and do me]]" on it.

{{clear}}

==Defenses against becoming homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]

It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off his temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''Playboy'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five minutes for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs.<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag 5]]</ref>

In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

Recently, it seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's Playboy magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires.]]

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|- Matthew 28, [[chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read nor wouldn't care to read]].}}

{{clear}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

*''"I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"''<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>

*''"I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>

*''"I'm straight, don't doubt me!"'''<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>

*''"Listen, as hard as you fucking can, [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|I CAME OUT OF MY]] AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."'''<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>

*''"Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>

*''"Anyway the, uh--anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all--how y'all understand it."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>

*''"And look at me. Do I look like-- [shakes head in disagreement] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty, SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC(Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-Chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-Chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong]

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Homos]]

I Pimp My Ride.MOV

2010-05-06T01:32:58Z

Shogun: /* Transcript */

[[Image:Pokeyman shirt CWC.jpg|thumb|right|]]
'''I Pimp My Ride.MOV''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 5 [[May 2010]].

Some time earlier, [[CWCki]] prominently featured a page with chillingly detailed information on [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|how easy it is to place bugging devices]] within [[PS3]]s. Not to be outdone by damn dirty [[troll]]s who keep stealing Chris's PSN accounts, Chris shows what he has done to curb further trolling: he has removed the the [http://www.eeshops.com/ps3-wifi-antenna-tyco-19039281-w400-p-528.html Wi-Fi antenna] from his PS3, thus making covert information transmission over WLAN much harder. (Technology analysts and other evil geeks at the CWCki page, however, remain unfazed by this claim.)

While relentlessly bragging about this technological tour-de-force and mocking his enemies with evil glee, Chris is wearing a never before seen, ill fitting [[Pokemon]] shirt in this video. The shirt reads "[[Books-A-Million]] Trainer", a post which he dubiously held circa [[2000]]; the shirt certainly ''looks'' that old. He proceeds to take out his PS3 keyboard controller (that has wheels taped on to it) and a [[Lego]] car, proclaiming he has "Pimped His Ride".

Chris's [[Son-chu|actual ride]] still remains unpimped at the moment.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = I Pimp My Ride.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|rz5xYLpUJxY}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 05 May 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Video games|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Crazy|text}}
| Shirt = {{PokemonLeague|text}}
| previous = [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===
Hey yo [[trolls]]! You got nothing going on fer ya, because you know what?

[''Chris proudly lifts the Wi-Fi antenna, thinking it is the bug.'']

I removed it. The Wi-Fi antenna! It gone! You ain’t getting on ma PS3 anymo! You bunch of dumbasses! And yeah I p-did spend a bit of [[Chris and money|dough]] on my [[Fangs|grill]], but you know what? I'm no b-different from y’all! 'Cuz I like to [[Random-access humor|Pimp Mah Riiiiiiiiidddde!]]

[''Chris lifts his hands, showing a PS3 keyboard controller with taped on wheels in one, and a Lego car in the other.'']

[[Homo|I'm out]], peace!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]|nextlink=Current}}

{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Piedmont Virginia Community College

2010-05-04T07:04:12Z

Shogun: /* Kicked Out of English */

''For other uses of "PVCC", see [[PVCC|the disambiguation page]].''

[[Image:RealPVCCLogo.jpg|thumb|150px|right|The public education system has failed us miserably...]]

'''Piedmont Virginia Community College''', the realm of the evil witch [[Mary Lee Walsh]], is the educational institution where [[Chris]] earned an associate's degree in Applied Science and a CADD certificate. He also made the Dean's List, or so he claims.<ref>"I earned two degrees in Computer Aided Drafting and Design at Piedmont Virginia Community College, and made the Dean's List." [[Miyamoto Saga]].</ref> Walsh, in her role as student dean, gave Chris a difficult time on his [[Love Quest]] and at points shattered his heart, lowering its [[heart level|level]] to nearly zero. Chris took revenge in his own inimitable fashion, making her into a character in his [[comic]]s: the evil witch in command of the villainous group known as the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

==Kicked Out of English==
[[Image:Matchdotcom1.jpeg|thumb|250px|right|For reference, this is what Chris wore to college.]]
During an English class, when he realized that "Wednesday's Child" is a story about an autistic girl who [[Death threats|brutally murders people]], Chris told his ''[[JERKS|male]]'' professor that by golly, he is autistic too! This allegedly resulted in Chris's ejection from that class on 24 [[February 2003]], Chris's 21st birthday. According to Chris, the reason was the professor's misunderstanding and fear of [[autism]]. Chris cried and later passed the course when he retook it with a ''female'' professor.

Other than reinforcing Chris's hate of men, this event is what inspired Chris to begin his Love Quest.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

According to [[Emily]], there is more to this story than Chris lets on: "He finally admitted that it was during a group session and the topic of [[homosexuality]] was brought up. ... He said something derogatory about gays or said something in an inappropriate way about them."

==Kicked Out of College==
The college itself is intolerant of those who are love questing, and makes extra effort to cockblock any males on its campus by brutally censoring any signs that show the least bit of interest in romance.

By mid-[[October 2003]], Chris had been using his [[Attraction Sign]] for two months without success. Mary Lee Walsh, under the impression that Chris was soliciting sex, seized the sign, yelled at him in a very violent manner, and harshly criticized his methods. Chris made a new sign, only to see Walsh sabotage his plot once again a few weeks later. This served only to make Chris [[virgin with rage|rage]] and spam the college with his [[Sonichu's News Dash]] newsletter. As a result, Walsh gave Chris a stern lecture, banned him from PVCC for a year, made him take an anger management course, and forced him to see a shrink.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>

To further enhance the fail, PVCC is largely considered something of a joke, even by other local community colleges. So Chris basically didn't just fail at community college, he failed at a community college that failed at being a community college.

==Graduation==
After spending five years on a course of study that normally takes only two, Chris graduated with an associate's degree in Applied Science and a [[CADD]] certificate.

Compared to his [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|high school graduation]], he didn't seem to give a fuck. Of note, Chris wore not only his Sonichu Medallion, but his [[honor roll]] sash from high school underneath his gown, yet another sign that he can not move on from high school.

Chris was so disappointed on his graduation that it eventually spawned [[Count Graduon]].

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0710-CWCCollGrad1.jpg
Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|You think this was Chris on his college graduation? No, this is from high school.
Image:0711-CWCCollGrad2.jpg|No, THIS is Chris at his college graduation. Such is his disdain for college, he's wearing the [[medallion]] and the same shirt of fail he draws himself in.
Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|Chris couldn't care less and he disrobed himself like a little kid.
Image:0714-PVCCCaddDeg2.jpg|His Associate of Applied Science degree.
Image:0713-PVCCCaddDeg1.jpg|His CADD '''certificate'''. Chris insists this is a degree but the Commonwealth of Virginia begs to differ.
</gallery>
</center>

==PVCC as viewed by Chris==

[[Image:CWCVille_Rogues_Gallery.png|thumb|right|Mary Lee Walsh and her corrupted citizens.]]
[[Image:PVCCitizens.jpg|thumb|right|The PVCC logo]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] as the '''Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens''' (or, on one occasion, as [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|Piedmont Virginity College]]) due to the simmering grudge he holds against the school. Although it is known that PVCC and its dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] interfered with Chris's [[Love Quest]] and the distribution of the [[Sonichu's News Dash]] newsletter, it remains unclear which particular incident inspired him to coin the term. Within the context of his [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] comics, Christian has characterized the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens as the headquarters for for the collective activities of the supervillains of [[CWCville]].

As you can imagine, when the troll message boards were created, [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|it just had to be christened with this name]].

{{CWCipedia}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg
Image:392-Forum.jpg
</gallery></center>
==Sauce==
<references />

==See Also==
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
{{-}}
==External Links==
*[[Wikipedia:Piedmont Virginia Community College|Wikipedia article on PVCC]]
*[http://www.pvcc.edu/ PVCC website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category: Education]]
[[Category: Places]]

Chris and English

2010-05-02T07:17:13Z

Shogun:

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he became older.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[China]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to take a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words reaching desperately for meaning, only to [[fail]] hard.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage, and likely never intends to use again. Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, and that is putting it mildly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. Also, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any 6-year-old, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, instead veering off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "Bubbles Rosechu", "Angelica Rosechu", and recently introduced, "Lolisa Rosechu", of whom her Boyfriend, "Jamsta Sonichu", was the one who Interviewed Blanca and her Jiggliami on Radio Station, KCWC.|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]," which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

With all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to "sound out" words, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in Word, Firefox, Google, or any of the dozens of other programs that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "cold-hearted" as "[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|ColdHearted]]," as if it were a compound word.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery against the English language. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref>), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical.

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs; he frequently recites them incorrectly or clearly misses the point. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who teach, can't."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last illustrates several problems. "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear.

===Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm===
Chris takes rhetorical comparisons very literally; he gets extremely attached to the ''exact'' meanings of the these statements, and not the bigger point that the other speaker is trying to make. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this kind of literal interpretation of everything people say is a trait common in many autistic people. Chris has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments. Example<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref>:

: '''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in Street Fighter, who do you use the most?
: '''Chris:''' Chun-Li.
: '''Julie:''' I also use Dan.

[[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan Hibiki]] is, of course, a joke character.

===Literal interpretation===
Chris has the tendency to take questions and suggestions very literally. Example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with B-Manajerk. The previous day, the manager of the Wal-Mart had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a McDonald's at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris is also almost consistently using television terminology instead of comics terminology, and the television terminology seems to seep into his other language use. He's urging people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel; this may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations, but in Chris's case, this may be indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> and calls his alternate versions "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. In the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref>, even though FCC has no authority over Web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he's applying to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes," "volumes" instead of "seasons," rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but ''not'' exact duplicate of, the one used in television — and so on.

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he's almost always referring to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler" if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he's referring to most of the women with their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow R. Kelly's bathroom... The Cleveland Show, new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go in tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of short phrases apparently culled from TV (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos - Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===

Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. Firstly, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of idiologistical phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself - he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a synaesthesiac.

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*Anything written on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)

2010-05-02T06:50:09Z

Shogun:

''For other uses of "PVCC", see [[PVCC|the disambiguation page]].''

{{protip|Butthurt about not getting in PVCC? It's the '''PRIVATE''' Villa of Corrupt Citizens. They don't have to let everyone in. DEAL WITH IT.}}

{{quote|it's like talking to a [[Chris|sadistic brick wall]].|[[Anna]] on PVCC<ref>http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6429088515</ref>}}

[[Image:PVCClogo.png|thumb|right|The dean's in her office, all's right with the world]]

The '''Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens''' (colloquially known as '''PVCC''') is a message board, appropriately named after the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|villainous organization]] from the [[Sonichu comics]], inhabited by [[trolls]] who despair at Chris's [[Da update|latest failures]], and want nothing more than for him to succeed in life.

Having been hosted on the [[110mb|same wonderful server]] as the [[CWCki]] would mean that the PVCC never went offline for any amount of time. It has yet to be seen if the new host's performance is good enough. It is occasionally infiltrated by [[trolls]], but they are quickly sent on their way.

PVCC is ruled by true [[Sonichu]] fan [[Cogsdev]].

==History of site==

The forum was created when Chris's [[ED]] talk page was locked by its zealous guardians, who decreed that the Chris saga had gone as far as it could go. In retrospect, it was the smartest thing they ever did. The forums grew for a while during late 2008 and early 2009, a period known in the mind of many veteran trolls as the time when PVCC ran on [http://sourceforge.net/projects/pblang/ PBLang] and had an ominous bright-red-on-black color scheme. The first 110mb failure was catastrophic and almost the entire PVCC was deleted, so the forums had to be started from scratch -- this time, using the famous and well-known forum software [http://www.phpbb.com/ phpBB].

Around April 2008, account creation on PVCC was protected with an application request system to deter [[ED]] and [[Krapple]] newfags from contaminating the forum. ED, needless to say, didn't take it very well, and after a few months this also led to the creation of the [[EDF|Chris-chan forum at Encyclopedia Dramatica's boards]].

As [[110mb]] kept crashing, the site has been through several incarnations, until in January 2010, both PVCC and [[CWCki]] were moved to a new hosting service that, needless to say, has proven way more reliable than 110mb.

==Dramatis Personae==

===Angelicthug===
Angelicthug (formerly known as "nigger"), joined [[April 2009|April 19th 2009]], became infamous by posting a series of threads on racial supremacy. Although he claimed actually not to be a white supremacist himself, but just someone struggling with his identity, his posts and rethoric pissed off a substantial part of the rather [[Niggos|multicultural]] PVCC userbase. He was banned [[November 2009|November 30th 2009]].

===Georgeson===
Georgeson, joined [[March 2009|March 5th 2009]], baffled PVCC users a few weeks after registering by posting more and more what seemed to be alcohol-infused comments and links to videos in which he was obviously intoxicated. Over the months, Georgeson has manifested himself as the local PVCC-drunk, most noted for his funny stories, videos, and updates on his troublesome relations with a cheating skank.

A typical Georgeson-video:

{{#ev:youtube|aKcMRRiWIMU}}
 
 

===GenesisHime===

==Sauce==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Cwc.wad]] - a project originating from PVCC

== External links ==
*[http://pvcc.cogsdev.org/forum/ PVCC]

[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens

2010-05-02T06:49:51Z

Shogun:

''For other uses of "PVCC", see [[PVCC|the disambiguation page]].''

[[Image:CWCVille_Rogues_Gallery.png|thumb|[[Mary Lee Walsh]] and her corrupted citizens.]]
[[Image:PVCCitizens.jpg|thumb|The PVCC logo]]

{{quote|After being Laid Off and down on her Love Luck, she sought revenge and make that ALL WILL REMAIN VIRGINS WITHOUT TRUE, HONEST LOVE within the State of Virginia.|[[Chris]], on the origins of the PVCC}}

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] as the '''Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens''' due to numerous grievances he has with the school.

Although it is known that PVCC and its dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] interfered with Chris's [[Love Quest]] and the distribution of the [[Sonichu's News Dash]] newsletter, it remains unclear which particular incident inspired him to coin the term. Within the context of his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, Christian has characterized the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens as the headquarters for for the collective activities of the supervillains of [[CWCville]].

As you can imagine, when [[Cogsdev]] decided to create the troll message boards, [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|it just had to be christened with this name]].

== The fictional history ==

Apparently, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] ([[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] as Slaweel Ryam) was "Dean of Student Services" at Piedmont Virginia Community College, around June [[2000]]. She was [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|fired]] for making love potions and selling [[Yawning Squirtle|drugs]] on the side. No, I'm not fucking with [[Gal-pal|you]].<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#The_early_days_of_Mary_Lee_Walsh.2C_AKA_Slaweel_Ryam</ref>

{{quote|[..] she provided High-Inducing Concoctions to the Bummed Hobos that hung around the campus during Closed Hours.|Chris, on [[Cwcipedia]]}}

The downtrodden [[MLW]] picked herself up and built the "Prowldent Virginia Community College" (Chris fucks up the entire series continuity right here), ten miles north of [[CWCville]]. While building, Mary came into contact with [[Count Graduon]], amplifying her powers. Under the guise of running an educational institution, she begins to recruit the [[Jerkops]] and engineers the first [[Transformers|Decepti-clones]].<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#The_Decepti-Clones</ref>



{{Incomplete}}

===ProwldentVCC or PVCCitizens?===
[[Image:ProwldentVCC.jpg|thumb|right| Another PVCC logo, on the same goddamn page]]

So... is is "Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens" or "Prowldent Virginia Community College"?

One could assume that the latter is just an innocently-sounding front for [[MLW]]'s shady business, while the former is the name of her criminal organization. However, in his [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|annotations to his ED article]] Chris called [[MLW]]'s educational facility "PVCCitizens", not "Prowldent Virginia Community College".

He also noted that, though it often goes to war against [[CWCville]] as a whole, it's not a ''city'', but an ''"Evil School"''. A previously unknown type of educational facility, we can only deduce that its goal is to teach children all things evil – like, e.g., an Art School teaches art. It's probably the kind of school [[wikipedia:Doctor Evil|Dr. Evil]] attended, before getting his Doctorate in Evil.

{{Incomplete}}

=== To recap ===

* CWC is heart-shattered. Much whining comes after.
* Nazi golem rampages through town, controlled by [[Mary Lee Walsh|MLW]]. Is soon stopped by Chris and company.
* Chris [[Chris and anger|breaks into Mary's home, beats her up.]]
* Cock-blocking in the mall.
* Yet more cock-blocking.
* MLW traps [[Crystal]], who is saved 5 issues later, possibly due to Chris completely forgetting this plot thread.

== Errors and retcons ==

In ''[[Sonichu 4]]'' it's established that MLW took over [[Manchester High School]], yet in all media that follows the place is still described as the PVCC. Disregarding the creepy little tale known as [[The High School Story]], of course.

According to the [[Cwcipedia]],<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref> Chris fought against the tyrannical PVCC in March [[2004]], in some sort of terrible Go-Bots/Power Rangers/[[Anime]] battle. This runs counter to all of the published comics, in which the only ''Power Ranger''-esque character is [[Bagget]], and the Go-Bots have never been seen.

Akin to Chris claiming that Slaweel and Mary Lee Walsh were separate people, Chris clarifies in one of the [[Official Videobooks]] that the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (PVCC) should be referred to as "PVCCitizens" to distinguish it from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]].

=== Two Marys ===

Yet another major retcon by Chris, apparently there are two Mary Lee Walshes. Ironically, the one that shattered his heart retired in peace, and was replaced by a malevolent clone, even further bent on torturing Chris.<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/TwoMarys</ref> This second Mary would become Slaweel Ryam. ([[Autistic|Clever]], right?)

{{quote|NOTE, the Mary Lee Walsh of the Comic Pages is a Different Person from the one who replaced her at Piedmont Virginia Community College FOR REAL. NO Blood Ties or Relation at all with the First One; and this one had resided in Virginia a LONG Time with her husband and children. She was working at another college before being transferred to PVCC after the OLDER Mary was fired.|Chris, apologizing to the woman he wanted to "mach punch"}}

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]

{{CWCverse}}
{{CWC-isms}}
[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Piedmont Virginia Community College

2010-05-02T06:49:32Z

Shogun:

''For other uses of "PVCC", see [[PVCC|the disambiguation page]].''

[[Image:RealPVCCLogo.jpg|thumb|150px|right|The public education system has failed us miserably...]]

'''Piedmont Virginia Community College''', the realm of the evil witch [[Mary Lee Walsh]], is the educational institution where [[Chris]] earned an associate's degree in Applied Science and a CADD certificate. He also made the Dean's List, or so he claims.<ref>"I earned two degrees in Computer Aided Drafting and Design at Piedmont Virginia Community College, and made the Dean's List." [[Miyamoto Saga]].</ref> Walsh, in her role as student dean, gave Chris a difficult time on his [[Love Quest]] and at points shattered his heart, lowering its [[heart level|level]] to nearly zero. Chris took revenge in his own inimitable fashion, making her into a character in his [[comic]]s: the evil witch in command of the villainous group known as the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

==Kicked Out of English==
During an English class, when he realized that "Wednesday's Child" is a story about an autistic girl who brutally murders people, Chris told his ''[[JERKS|male]]'' professor that by golly, he is autistic too! This allegedly resulted in Chris's ejection from that class on 24 [[February 2003]], Chris's 21st birthday. According to Chris, the reason was the professor's misunderstanding and fear of [[autism]]. Chris cried and later passed the course when he retook it with a ''female'' professor.

Other than re-enforcing Chris's hate of men, this event is what inspired Chris to begin his Love Quest.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

According to [[Emily]], there is more to this story than Chris lets on: "He finally admitted that it was during a group session and the topic of [[homosexuality]] was brought up. ... He said something derogatory about gays or said something in an inappropriate way about them."

==Kicked Out of College==
The college itself is intolerant of those who are love questing, and makes extra effort to cockblock any males on its campus by brutally censoring any signs that show the least bit of interest in romance.

By mid-[[October 2003]], Chris had been using his [[Attraction Sign]] for two months without success. Mary Lee Walsh, under the impression that Chris was soliciting sex, seized the sign, yelled at him in a very violent manner, and harshly criticized his methods. Chris made a new sign, only to see Walsh sabotage his plot once again a few weeks later. This served only to make Chris [[virgin with rage|rage]] and spam the college with his [[Sonichu's News Dash]] newsletter. As a result, Walsh gave Chris a stern lecture, banned him from PVCC for a year, made him take an anger management course, and forced him to see a shrink.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>

To further enhance the fail, PVCC is largely considered something of a joke, even by other local community colleges. So Chris basically didn't just fail at community college, he failed at a community college that failed at being a community college.

==Graduation==
After spending five years on a course of study that normally takes only two, Chris graduated with an associate's degree in Applied Science and a [[CADD]] certificate.

Compared to his [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|high school graduation]], he didn't seem to give a fuck. Of note, Chris wore not only his Sonichu Medallion, but his [[honor roll]] sash from high school underneath his gown, yet another sign that he can not move on from high school.

Chris was so disappointed on his graduation that it eventually spawned [[Count Graduon]].

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0710-CWCCollGrad1.jpg
Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|You think this was Chris on his college graduation? No, this is from high school.
Image:0711-CWCCollGrad2.jpg|No, THIS is Chris at his college graduation. Such is his disdain for college, he's wearing the [[medallion]] and the same shirt of fail he draws himself in.
Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|Chris couldn't care less and he disrobed himself like a little kid.
Image:0714-PVCCCaddDeg2.jpg|His Associate of Applied Science degree.
Image:0713-PVCCCaddDeg1.jpg|His CADD '''certificate'''. Chris insists this is a degree but the Commonwealth of Virginia begs to differ.
</gallery>
</center>

==PVCC as viewed by Chris==

[[Image:CWCVille_Rogues_Gallery.png|thumb|right|Mary Lee Walsh and her corrupted citizens.]]
[[Image:PVCCitizens.jpg|thumb|right|The PVCC logo]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] as the '''Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens''' (or, on one occasion, as [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|Piedmont Virginity College]]) due to the simmering grudge he holds against the school. Although it is known that PVCC and its dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] interfered with Chris's [[Love Quest]] and the distribution of the [[Sonichu's News Dash]] newsletter, it remains unclear which particular incident inspired him to coin the term. Within the context of his [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] comics, Christian has characterized the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens as the headquarters for for the collective activities of the supervillains of [[CWCville]].

As you can imagine, when the troll message boards were created, [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|it just had to be christened with this name]].

{{CWCipedia}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg
Image:392-Forum.jpg
</gallery></center>
==Sauce==
<references />

==See Also==
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
{{-}}
==External Links==
*[[Wikipedia:Piedmont Virginia Community College|Wikipedia article on PVCC]]
*[http://www.pvcc.edu/ PVCC website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category: Education]]
[[Category: Places]]

04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless

2010-04-30T23:22:57Z

Shogun: /* Video */

'''04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless''' is a video uploaded on 23 [[April 2010]].

Wearing only his [[muscle bra|sports bra]], Chris reads easily accessible information about [[autism]] that he got from [[Wikipedia]] and autismspeaks.org for about 7 minutes. He gives his advice regarding how to raise an autistic child, but Chris, as the autistic he is, doesn't realize that he can't be taken seriously if he is wearing a bra. Chris then begins his protest against other men walking around shirtless, stating that it should be illegal unless said man is wearing a bra.

Chris appearing in his bra is most likely an attempt to take the wind out of the trolls' sails after [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|the horrors of the day before]]. Note the lack of the [[medallion]], or the [[high school ring]], and the fact that Chris can't explain autism with his own words and that he applies exactly none of the facts he mentions here to his life. And that he talked in a more monotone voice until he was talking about shirtless guys.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless
| image = {{#ev:youtube|oRJGyy7KMh4}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 23 April 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Autism|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Shirt = {{Cwcbra}} [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]
| previous = [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===

Good day. I’m here today on this, uh, pleasant day of April 2010 to, uh, discuss autism as it is Autism Awares- Awareness Month. What is Autism? [''Reads off clipboard''] “Autism is a disorder of neutro- of neurodevelopment characterized by impaired social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior. These signs all begin before a child is three years old. Autism affects information processing in the brain [''Points to head''], by altering how nerve cells and nerve synapses connect and organize; how this concerned [''ed--a misreading of 'occurs' ''] is not well understood.” And by where I got this information printed out here from, uh, autismspeaks.org and the Wikipedia page for autism.

[''Deep breath''] “Today, it is estimated that 1 in every 110 children is diagnosed with autism, making it more common than childhood cancer, juvenile diabetes, and pediatric [[9 October 2009|AIDS]] combined. An estimated 1.5 million individuals in the United States and tens of millions worldwide are affected by autism. Studies suggest that boys are a lot more likely than girls to develop autism and receive the diagnosis three to four times more frequently. Current estimates are that in the United States alone, one out of 70 boys is diagnosed with autism."

"As for social symptoms, uh, from the start typically developing infants are social beings. Early in life, they gaze at people, turn toward voices, grasp a finger, and even smile. By contrast, most p-peop- most children with autism seem to have tremendous difficulty learning to engage in the give-and-take of everyday human interactions. Even in the first year of life, many do not interact and avoid eye contact in a nor- normal way. They may seem indifferent to other people, and prefer being alone. They may resist attention or passively accept hugs and cuddling. Children with autism also are slower in learning to interpret what others are thinking and feeling. Subtle social cues — such as a smile, a wave, or a grimace—may have little rema- little meaning to a child with autism. To a child who misses these cues, such things as 'Come here' may always means the same thing, whether the speaker is smiling and extending her arms for a hug or frowning and planting her fists on her hips. Without the ability to interpret ges-tures and facial expressions, the social world may seem bewildering. To compound the problem, people with autism have difficulty seeing things from other pearson's perspective."

[''Turns page on clipboard''] "Most 5-year-olds understand that other people have different thoughts, feelings, and goals when they have- than they have. A child with autism may lack such understanding. This inability leaves them unable to predict or understand other people's actions."

"''...predict or understand people’s actions.''"

"Although not universal, it is common for people with autism to have difficulty regulating their emotions. This can take the form of ‘immature’ behavior such as [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|crying in class]] or [[Sub-Episode_2#Sub-Episode_2:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22The_Rise_.26_Fall_of_My_Heart.22|verbal outbursts]] that may seem inappropriate to those around them. Sometimes they may be disruptive and physically aggressive, making social relationships even more difficult. They have a tendency to [[Chris_Loses_It|'lose control']], particularly when they're in a strange or overwhelming environment, or when [[Chris and anger|angry]] and frustrated."

"Communication. By age 3, most children have passed predictable milestones on the path to learning language; one of the earliest is babbling. Babbling. By the first birthday, a typical toddler says a word or two, turns and looks when he hears his name, points when he wants a toy, and when offered something distasteful, makes it clear that the answer is 'no'. [''Scratches head''] Some children diagnosed with autism remain mute throughout their lives, although the majority develop spoken language and all eventually learn to communicate in some way. Some infants who later show signs of autism coo and babble during the first few months of their life, but they stop. Others may be delayed, developing language as late as age 5 to 9. Some children may learn to use communication systems such as pictures or sign language, or closed captioning for the hearing impaired. Some speak only single words, while others repeat the same phrase over and over. They may repeat or parrot what they hear, a condition called e-cho-la-lia. Although many children with autism go through a stage where they repeat what they hear, it normally passes by the time they are- they are age 3. Another common difficulty is the inability to understand body language, tone of voice, or “phrases of speech.” For example, someone with autism might interpret a sarcastic expression such as “Oh, that's just great” as meaning it really is great."

"While it can be challenging for others to understand what children with autism are most able to say, their body language may also difficult to understand. [[Creepy_stare|Facial expressions]], movements, and [[Claw_of_fail|gestures]] may not match what they are saying. Also, their tone of voice might fail to reflect their feelings. They might use a [[Autism#Chris's_Symptoms|high-pitched, sing-song, or flat, robot-like voice.]] Some children with relatively good language skills speak like little adults, [''Turns page''] failing to pick up on the kid's speak that is common in their peers. Without meaningful gestures, or the language to ask for things, people with autism are less able to let other know- others know what they are need. As a result, they may simply [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|scream]] or [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Don.27t_Kiss_Me.2C_Bro|grab]] for what they want until they are taught. Better ways to express their needs. Children with autism do whatever they can to get though to others. As they grow up, they can become increasingly aware of their difficulties in understanding others and being understood."

"Repetitive behaviors. Although children with autism usually appear physically normal, odd repetitive motions may set them apart from other children. These behaviors might be extreme and highly apparent, or more subtle. Some chi- some children and other individuals repeatedly flap their arms, or walk on their toes, some simply freeze in position. As children, individuals with autism might spend hours lining up their cars or trains in a certain way, rather than using them for pretend play. Someone moves one of the toys, the children m-may be tremendously upset. Many children with autism meed and demand absolute consistency in their environment. A slight change in routine, such as meal time, dressing, [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|take a bath]], or going to school at the same time or by a certain route can be extremely stressful. Unless the child has made apparent that the change is okay and acceptable. Repetitive behavior sometimes takes the form of a [[China|persistent intense preoccupation.]] These strong interests may be unusual, because their [[Semen#Recycling|content]], or because the [[Love Quest|intensity]] of the interest. Treatment for autism is very intensive, comprehensive undertaking that involves the child's entire family and a team of professionals. Some programs may take place in a child's home with professionals and a trained therapist and may include parental training for the child under supervision of a professional. Some programs are delivered in a specialized center, clu-sumes, or preschool." [''Puts paper down'']

[[File:SonichuBra.jpg|thumb|Sonichu, covering his shame in light of Chris's new legislation.]]
Though, as for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though [[Chris and reality|normal life]]. I mean yeah, gib'em [[Monthly tugboat|the special treatment while they're young]] but when you gottdem in elementary- but when you geddem in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go. Make sure you find yourself a good social teacher teach dem how to cope! And as you may have noticed, I am standing here today... topless [''Grabs bra and pushes it upwards''], as you might say. I do this in defense, and in protest, because everytime I-because every time I see a [[Wikipedia:Kratos_(God_of_War)|male individual who goes around or runs around or exercises shirtless]], it is very offensive to me. And I do not appreciate that. And I am sure that it is a lot offens- it is offensive to a-a lot of other people as well. And a-madafra if I could, I would say that-I would make a LAW that would require all male individuals to wear a sports bra while they are out exercising or working if they insist on being shirtless! Come'oin dude, get with [[Gaybian|the program]]! No one wants to see these nips! And things are better left a mystery! I leave you all with that, and you have yourself a pleasant, safe day.
{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Chris in the media

2010-04-29T04:59:43Z

Shogun:

[[Chris]], being an attention whore of sorts, has frequently managed to find himself in the '''media''' spotlight. Television, newspapers, magazines and, of course, the internet - if Chris can find some way to earn his [[Wikipedia:15 minutes of fame|15 minutes of fame]] some way, he'll do so.

==Traditional Media==
===Richmond Times-Dispatch===

{{main|IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES}}

In 1993, the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' newspaper ran an article detailing how Chris changed his name from "Christopher" to the more well-known "Christian". This is Chris's first known appearance in the media.

===Sonic The Hedgehog Watch And Win Sweepstakes===

{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes}}

Chris's second appearance in the media was a news report in 1994 chronicling Chris's first victory, winning a contest celebrating one of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoons.

===Nintendo Power Magazine===

{{main|Nintendo Power Magazine}}

Twice, Chris has used the magazine ''Nintendo Power'' to get himself attention. First was a letter Chris wrote telling Nintendo how [[lie|he used a video game to cure his fear of talking to girls]]. The second time detailed Chris's Animal Crossing video, though there he was known as [[Sonichu]], not Chris.

=== WBCN Toucher and Rich ===
On 12 [[May 2009]] Chris's antics became so famous that it sparked the interest of a radio ([http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145 podcast]) in Boston. The whole media furor was sparked by the [[I Got A Fish]] video. However, most of the show covered Chis' videos addressed to [[Ivy]]. See [[Toucher and Rich Segment]] for complete coverage. 
 
{{stub}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

The Wallflower

2010-04-21T02:01:43Z

Shogun:

[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|The Wallflower doing what she does best.]]

''For the CWCipedia page, see [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)]].''

"'''The Wallflower'''" aka '''Damian Antaria''' is the heir to [[Megan Schroeder]], a female friend [[Chris]] met some time around early [[2010]]. She is one of the few girls Chris has managed to associate with in his post-high-school years who is not (as far as can be seen) a direct result of [[trolling]]. In [[March 2010]], she joined the long list of would-be [[sweetheart]]s with whom Chris has failed to lose his hated virginity.

Whether or not the Megan-esque ending of their relationship is actually to blame on the trolls or is a direct result of Chris being himself is unknown. There is evidence that the Wallflower has been made aware of the [[CWCki]], but given Chris's past record of making an absolute tit of himself in every way imaginable, it is not unrealistic to consider that Chris himself scared the Wallflower away with his pungent aroma of [[Chris and health#Hygiene|sweat]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]], and [[AXE]]. Nevertheless, Chris has taken it upon himself to blame those god damn trolls for destroying yet another chance at getting some [[china]].

==References by Chris==
Exactly when Chris first met her is not clear, though it is suspected that [[Rocky]] may have had something to do with it. While he jumped at the chance to advertise his involvement with some of his other women friends to the world, he initially made only oblique, passing references to this one. (Also, less information was forthcoming about this particular sweetheart than some because unlike, say, [[PandaHalo]], she wasn't actively leaking every detail of her communications with Chris to fellow trolls.)
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|The Wallflower on her [[third date]] with [[Clyde Cash]].]]
The first signs of Chris's involvement with the Wallflower showed up in late January 2010. In [[Mailbag 46]], answered on 26 January, Chris claimed to have joined a "Young Adult Social Group" and "met a lovely woman there who likes me too; we are hitting it off like two hip wallflowers." This makes it likely that she also has da autism, as there are many social groups in place for people with autism who do not have social lives otherwise. Around the same time, in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3]] (which took place on 30 January), Chris said he was expecting a phone call that may have been from her.

In the 14 February 2010 edition of the [[CWC Blog]], Chris declared that "currently, my girl friend and I are getting along great; the relationship is progressing. I only ask for y'all to leave me with my relationship, and not make me feel intruded by inquiring constantly." When a correspondent in [[Mailbag 56]] challenged Chris to prove the existence of his new "girl friend," Chris replied "She does exist, and I do not appreciate your tone at all."

It's not clear how far the relationship actually "progressed," however. Chris, we can be certain, had designs on a physical relationship with her from the start. He has no truck with the notion of "[[Friend zone|just friends]]." The Wallflower may have felt otherwise, which could explain Chris's angry remarks on the subject of the "friend zone" in the [[Common Questions#15_January_2010|15 January 2010]] edition of the Mailbag. His [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!|abject plea to her]] from 14 March supports this supposition — in that video, Chris says that while they were acquainted, she told him she wasn't interested in a boyfriend. However, he implied that she was now thinking of dating some other guy, making it quite likely that she used "not interested in a boyfriend" as a polite way of turning Chris down. It's far more polite than "Fuck no, you disgusting freak."

Even with all evidence to the contrary, in his [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|C-Ya Later video]], he unabashedly [[Chris and Reality|refers to her as his]] [[Boyfriend-free girl|"girlfriend"]], despite outright stating earlier that she had refused all his advances.

==Breakup?==
{{quote|Got-Dang Asexual Woman!|Chris in his [[CWCipedia]] page on The Wallflower}}
[[File:The link.jpg|thumb|How to troll both Chris and his trolls in one simple step.]]
When it was found out that Chris had a possibly non-troll gal-pal, most of the trolls agreed that the best course of action was to let the events play out on their own and have her find out herself what a [[Chris and Race|racist]], [[Sex|sexist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Monthly Tugboat|lazy]], [[Health|unhygienic]], [[Ego|narcissistic]], [[Hypocrisy|hypocritical]], [[naive]], and overall [[The Creepy Stare|creepy]] manchild Chris was. Despite this, one troll decided to fuck it all up and link her to the CWCki.

On 10 March 2010, Chris released [[A message to the Trolls]]. Emotionally distraught, he speaks in vague terms about troll interference in his life, and of the pains of a broken heart. At the same time, in a [[Cwc_blog|Captain's Log]] entry on the CWCipedia, Chris mentioned "BREAK-UPS FROM BEING EVEN SIMPLY FRIENDS WITH ME", which presumably refers to her cutting off all contact with him.

In the wee hours of 11 March 2010, Chris released [[Don't Mess With Me|a second video]], mentioning a theoretical meeting between him and an imaginary [[Clyde Cash]]. He beats the shit out of himself and the air, pulls out a tiny little [[pocket knife]] and cuts the throat of his invisible enemy, making it seem as if he blames the loss of the Wallflower or some other troubles on his old nemesis Clyde.

On 14 March 2010, Chris uploaded a new video and appeared to shift the blame to another troll, [[Surfshack Tito]]. In between delivering [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|bizarre threats of violence]], Chris makes a resolution to "regain the love and trust and friendship" of his gal-pal. It is not clear why Chris believes he can accomplish this goal by donning a kilt, waving around a small knife, putting on a grotesque attempt at a Scottish accent, and generally presenting a hideous affront to the culture and people of an entire nation.

Later that same day, Chris made [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|another video]] (in a different shirt, suggesting he woke up in the early afternoon) where he again referred to The Wallflower by her pen name, and literally begged her to sleep with him because his life was so hard, and otherwise he would have to pay $100 for sex with a hooker. The fact that at no point did he say anything along the lines of "Ignore the trolls" suggests that, ultimately, Wallflower finding out about the CWCki was not why she broke contact with him. Especially so when you consider that the video was about him singing about how he hates her boyfriend despite knowing nothing about him.

In the [[Surfshack Tito Emails]], Chris is mocked by Tito claiming to have had sex with the Wallflower. While Chris was initially incredulous, in a [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|later video]] he expressed outrage at Tito for "taking her from [him]", implying that he believes that the Wallflower is involved with Tito in some capacity.

==Anonymity==
Originally, this article intruded into parts of the Wallflower's life that had nothing to do with Chris, prompting her to request that the article be reworked to refer to her under a pseudonym and avoid direct references to her personal life and identity. The CWCki's administrators reasonably agreed.

Chris is convinced that this change took place because of the angry threats he made in his video of 10 March 2010, when in fact it had nothing to do with him. The changes to this page led him to believe that he could insist on sweeping edits to many other pages, which he listed in the 14 March 2010 Captain's Log update on the CWCipedia. Those demands were ignored.

Despite his (for once successful) attempts at having her docs removed from the internet, Chris continually drops her first name and pen-name in his videos, including [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|one]] which [[Fail|has it in the title]].

Chris has also uploaded [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|a list of his former gal-pals and sweethearts]] on the Cwcipedia which includes both her middle and last names. Chris goes on to blame the existence of her Facebook page for the leak of her identity and the end of their budding relationship. He says he "learned from [his] mistakes there", but people with working mental faculties are, however, puzzled by the fact that even after that alleged introspection, he's continuing to release all of this information. On 19 [[April 2010]], in an attempt to keep her anonymous, Chris added a [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|FULL PAGE]] about her to the CWCipedia. The said page is filled with megalomania, fantasies and death threats with Chris as a hero.

==External links==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Damien_Anteria|linkname=Damien Antaria}}
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do6CczCBplA Tribute]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Wallflower}}
{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}

GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes

2010-04-19T02:29:58Z

Shogun:

[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|right|This image was apparently worth $400.]]

The '''GameStop "Be a Star" Sweepstakes''' was a competition run by the video game retailer [[GameStop]] to promote ''[[Guitar Hero]]: World Tour'', which [[Chris]] entered around October [[2008]]. The competition required the entrant to send in a photograph of themselves in a "guitar hero pose".

First prize was a $400 GameStop gift certificate. Rumors also circulated that the winner would star in ''Guitar Hero: World Tour''; these proved to be incorrect.

Several [[trolls]] caught sight of Chris's entry and, mistakenly believing that the person with the most votes would indeed star in the ''Guitar Hero'' game, they encouraged people to vote for him by posting on [[4-cent_garbage.com|/b/]] and [[ED]], hoping to troll gamers everywhere by permanently marring a hit release with Chris's fat autistic presence.

Despite some disputes between trolls as well as some warnings to GameStop's management about what was transpiring, Chris went on to win the competition.

In his [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|28 December 2008 update]] he thanked his fans for voting for him, and announced that the $400 gift card would be shared with the congregation of his church. Chris ended up spending only a little less than half on his congregation — buying a copy of ''[[Animal Crossing]] City Folk'' ($50), plus two copies of ''Wii Music'' ($100) with a Wii Speak accessory ($30) for a grand total of $180 — with the remaining $220 going to himself{{cite}}.

Although his victory is largely considered a major failure in trolling efforts, it did have the unintended side effect of reaffirming Chris's belief that he has a huge, dedicated fanbase. This should make trolling somewhat easier, as Chris is even more inclined to open up to his supposed legions of fans, and some trolls have used his victory in the contest as leverage to guilt him into doing things like giving interviews or drawing more [[comic]]s.

==See also==
*[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]
*[[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] — A similar contest Chris entered the year before.
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]

[[Category:Events]][[Category: Contests]]

GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes

2010-04-19T02:27:19Z

Shogun:

[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|right|This image was apparently worth $400.]]

The '''GameStop "Be a Star" Sweepstakes''' was a competition run by the video game retailer [[GameStop]] to promote ''[[Guitar Hero]]: World Tour'', which [[Chris]] entered around October [[2008]]. The competition required the entrant to send in a photograph of themselves in a "guitar hero pose".

First prize was a $400 GameStop gift certificate. Rumors also circulated that the winner would star in ''Guitar Hero: World Tour''; these proved to be incorrect.

Several [[trolls]] caught sight of Chris's entry and, mistakenly believing that the person with the most votes would indeed star in the ''Guitar Hero'' game, they encouraged people to vote for him by posting on [[4-cent_garbage.com|/b/]] and [[ED]], hoping to troll gamers everywhere by permanently marring a hit release with Chris's fat autistic presence.

Despite some disputes between trolls as well as some warnings to GameStop's management about what was transpiring, Chris went on to win the competition.

In a later [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|video]] he thanked his fans for voting him, he announced the $400 gift card would be shared with the congregation of his church. Chris ended up spending only a little less than half on his congregation — buying a copy of ''[[Animal Crossing]] City Folk'' ($50), plus two copies of ''Wii Music'' ($100) with a Wii Speak accessory ($30) for a grand total of $180 — with the remaining $220 going to himself{{cite}}.

Although his victory is largely considered a major failure in trolling efforts, it did have the unintended side effect of reaffirming Chris's belief that he has a huge, dedicated fanbase. This should make trolling somewhat easier, as Chris is even more inclined to open up to his supposed legions of fans, and some trolls have used his victory in the contest as leverage to guilt him into doing things like giving interviews or drawing more [[comic]]s.

==See also==
*[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]
*[[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] — A similar contest Chris entered the year before.
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]

[[Category:Events]][[Category: Contests]]

Son-Chu

2010-04-16T23:37:03Z

Shogun: Not confirmed that Chris drives an automatic. I deleted it; it was unnecessary.

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|200px|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]
[[Image:License.jpg|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a license to kill (though through his ineptitude in operating a 3-ton mobile weapon)|thumb]]
'''Son-Chu''' (aka '''The Sonichu Mobile''') is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple ''disconcerting'' issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the Department of Motor Vehicles has nevertheless given him a full permission to drive a [[Sonichu Special 4|motor vehicle to be used in a plan to commit aggravated assault]]. DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment.

Members of PVCC believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]].
Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding on [[Little Big Planet|more important]] [[McDonalds|things]] [[Guitar Hero|to spend his money on]], despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.<ref>[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

==Backstory==
Since Chris jerks off to [[Transformers]], he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool Sportin', Escortin' Car."<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Son-Chu</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when Decepti-Clones attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the Cwcville Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.
}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other Transformers rip-offs, though.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being [[Autism|a high functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. Yes, Chris actually does take up spaces meant for people who are ''really'' disabled.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear.

==Vanity plate==

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]," thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. Ever. This habit of having a family plate stems from family. [[Bob]] has a vanity plate reading UN4EVER (apparently a support for the UN) and IB MR C (I be Mr. C, as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]) and [[Barb]] has one named B WESTON (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanity_plate#North_America</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper Stickers==
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded bumper stickers. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world-views and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* Sonichu window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for the old tripod website, what appears to be a faded drawing of either Sonic or Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the Sonichu title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music - A bumper sticker for a local record shop where Chris probably gets his [[Chris and music|used Britney Spears]] from.
* An American Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in 2001, during a frenzy of patriotism.
* "Autism. Work For A Cure" - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. The sticker is a paragon of failure. How is "Autism" a sentence? Do you think it can be "Cured" rather than treated? What are you doing to "Work For A Cure"? Why is "A" capitalized?
* "Come Play With Me!" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for "[[The GAMe PLACe]]". We are sure that they appreciate his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.<ref>[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. [[Honor roll]] my ass.
Image:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).
Image:VanityPlateComic.jpg|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]]
Image:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG| Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3| Mecca]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
*[[Car Pranks]]
*[[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2010-04-16T23:32:02Z

Shogun: /* Bumper Stickers */ we really shouldn't be addressing ourselves as "I".

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|200px|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]
[[Image:License.jpg|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a license to kill (though through his ineptitude in operating a 3-ton mobile weapon)|thumb]]
'''Son-Chu''' (aka '''The Sonichu Mobile''') is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple ''disconcerting'' issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the Department of Motor Vehicles has nevertheless given him a full permission to drive a [[Sonichu Special 4|motor vehicle to be used in a plan to commit aggravated assault]]. DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment.

Members of PVCC believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]].
Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding on [[Little Big Planet|more important]] [[McDonalds|things]] [[Guitar Hero|to spend his money on]], despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.<ref>[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref> The car has probably automatic transmission, which means it [[Chris|sucks ass]] in terms of cool because, [[Chris and reality|cool people]] like Clyde Cash and the rest of the [[trolls|trolls]] only drive manuals and not automatics or that paddle shifter shit.
==Backstory==
Since Chris jerks off to [[Transformers]], he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool Sportin', Escortin' Car."<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Son-Chu</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when Decepti-Clones attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the Cwcville Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.
}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other Transformers rip-offs, though.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being [[Autism|a high functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. Yes, Chris actually does take up spaces meant for people who are ''really'' disabled.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear.

==Vanity plate==

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]," thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. Ever. This habit of having a family plate stems from family. [[Bob]] has a vanity plate reading UN4EVER (apparently a support for the UN) and IB MR C (I be Mr. C, as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]) and [[Barb]] has one named B WESTON (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanity_plate#North_America</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper Stickers==
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded bumper stickers. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world-views and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* Sonichu window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for the old tripod website, what appears to be a faded drawing of either Sonic or Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the Sonichu title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music - A bumper sticker for a local record shop where Chris probably gets his [[Chris and music|used Britney Spears]] from.
* An American Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in 2001, during a frenzy of patriotism.
* "Autism. Work For A Cure" - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. The sticker is a paragon of failure. How is "Autism" a sentence? Do you think it can be "Cured" rather than treated? What are you doing to "Work For A Cure"? Why is "A" capitalized?
* "Come Play With Me!" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for "[[The GAMe PLACe]]". We are sure that they appreciate his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.<ref>[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. [[Honor roll]] my ass.
Image:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).
Image:VanityPlateComic.jpg|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]]
Image:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG| Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3| Mecca]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
*[[Car Pranks]]
*[[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

2010-04-16T23:27:26Z

Shogun: /* Transcript */

[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb|Chris begs the masses to support his cause.]]
'''Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean''' (full title "'''04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only).MOV'''") is an audio recording released by [[Chris]] chronicling an attempt to get himself unbanned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] by confronting [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder]], the [[manajerks|manager]] who permanently ejected him from the store in the summer of [[2008]]. Chris recorded their conversation by hiding a video camera in his pocket.

As usual, Chris adds this to his list of fails as Michael is unmoved by his attempts to get back in, and is entirely justified in this belief. According to Michael himself, Chris's plea was a script he had written down on a piece of paper.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y</ref> He also, it seems, can't remember why he was kicked out of the store in the first place. He mentions a "[[Nintendo|Wii]] incident," an occasion where he angered the management with his regular habit of taking over the store's television with his [[video game]] consoles, but otherwise he appears to be genuinely confused as to why Snyder won't let him back in. Oddly, yet hilariously, Chris adds to his streak of [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racist videos]] by shouting "JEW!" at Michael as he leaves the store, [[South Park|like a certain other fat kid]]. Of note, Michael is not actually Jewish, and the last name Snyder (or Schneider) is German in origin.

The conversation took place on 12 [[April 2010]] and Chris uploaded it to [[YouTube]] later the same day. Shortly after it was posted, the recording was removed from YouTube due to a terms of use violation, either because of Chris's anti-Semitic attitude, because the recording itself may have been illegal, or because of the dox and incitement to harass dropped in the description. In the early morning hours of the next day, Chris added a text-only [[:File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|image]] on the front page of [[CWCipedia]] accusing Michael Snyder of [[Kick the Autistic|discriminating against him]] for having [[autism]] (which is just conjecture on Chris's part, as opposed to Chris's own completely undeniable discrimination against Snyder for having a name he thinks sounds Jewish), and linked to a mirror of the deleted video.

One way or another, this video is absolute proof of Chris violating the law--he dropped into the store unannounced with full knowledge that he wasn't supposed to be there. [[Virginia]] defines this as "trespassing", which is a crime punishable by a fine not to exceed $2500, at most one year in prison, or both. According to Mimms, cops were called after this happened, though it is currently unknown, yet still very unlikely, if Michael will press the issue.

==Description==
In the video's description, copied below, Chris invites his fans to harass Snyder and other store employees. Roughly a month after turning on his [[fans|fan following]] and describing them as "[[Chris|greedy, impatient, unloved and corrupted people]]" in his 10 March [[CWC Blog|blog entry]], he's back to believing that he has a personal army.

{{quotebox|This happened on my recent visit to the Game & Hobby Place. My Camera was hidden in my Vest Pocket.

I encourage all to go there in person, find Michael, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|pester/Troll]] the hell out of him (other employees who support him optional). Also say to Michael, "[[Chris and race|Do Not Discriminate]] Against People like Christian Weston Chandler."

243 Ridge McIntire Road Charlottesville, VA 22903 (434) 984-1040}}

Michael then proceeded to drop Chris's phone number (however, Chris had beaten him to the punch multiple times).
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only).MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|6odVsyr3I40}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 12 April 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason, {{Rage}} Rage
| Saga =
| Shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[F_Abstinance]]
| next = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]}}

===Transcript===

[''Chris is speaking into a recorder. From the sound of it, it seems like he is inside his [[Son-chu|car]].'']

'''Chris:''' This is Christian Weston Chandler, [[Captain's Log]]. Stardate... 4:34 PM, Monday, April 12, 2010. I am about to go into the Game and Comic Hobby Place — also sell toys there — to get myself, to try to get myself unbanned and get forgiveness for the mistake I have made almost a year ago when I was banned from the store in June of 2008.

[''Heavy [[sigh]] from Chris.'']

'''Chris:''' The dude who banned me was, his name is Michael Snyder, possibly a [[Chris and race#Jews|Jew]] considering his last name. [[Lie|Nothing bad against the Jews, but I'm just throwin' it out there.]] Alright, so, here I go. [''sigh'']

[''Chris turns off the engine and leaves his car. He approaches The Game Place, and the chime of the store's door alarm can be heard as he goes inside. "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray faintly plays in the background, while we get a good view of the inside of Chris's pocket.'']

'''Chris:''' Hello, I'm here to see Michael.

 '''Employee:''' Yeah, he's in the room back here.

[''We come upon Michael, who is fixing an RC car. His remarks are occasionally interrupted by whoever he is helping. Judging by the audio, Chris is standing relatively close to him, close enough to occasionally hear whoever Michael is speaking with.'']

 '''Michael:''' Well, I mean, you're, you, you'll just see that by running it. I mean, it was running okay the other day. But just, you know, adjust it one way or the other depending on temperature and everything else. But, you know, it just, it's not usually much. By changing fuel, it doesn't usually change... tuning that much. Mmkay... Uh-huh. Yeah, no, it'll be fine... Right, yeah, it'll be fine. [pause] Okay... Okay... Who made it?

[''The recorder seems to move away from the conversation, and a long silence follows. Various store noises occur in the background, including the bell from someone opening the front door.'']

 '''Michael:''' Okay. Alright. Sounds good. Mm-hm. Bye.

'''Chris:''' Hello, Michael. I see, uh... You've been, I see you're looking well. Haven't changed much since, for the past almost two years. And, yeah, it has been, uh, almost two years since... uh, what happened, uh, June- June of 2008. But, uh, I came back hoping that, uh, we could put that behind us and...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' Come on. I mean, it has been almost two years, and it's just been on my mind for so long, just be...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, can't we just [[Mary Lee Walsh|forgive]] and forget?

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' C'mon, to have this...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...weight on my back...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' And I have really...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...missed coming here.

 '''Michael:''' No. No. You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I'm, I'm a better person...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] C'mon, what? Come on, dude...

 '''Michael:''' No! You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' [[Twin Falling Towers|How can you be so heartless?]] I mean, you're, I mean, you're obviously not as mean as one of those trolls I've been dealing with...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I mean, come on, I mean, obviously you have something against me, [''four beeping noises are heard, possibly Michael dialing out to 911''] because aside from the Wii incident, I just would like to know ''what''. Come on. Gimme a break. Alright, fine, I'll leave.

[''His tone becomes sharp and angry.'']

'''Chris:''' But I hope that [[Chris and Religion|God will forgive you]] for being so [[Chris and Hypocrisy#"I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance|heartless and cruel]], Michael Snyder!

 '''Michael:''' He probably will.

'''Chris:''' JEW!

[''Chris goes out the door, tape runs out.'']

==Aftermath==
During the confrontation, Michael called the [[jerkops|police]]. However, Chris was long gone by the time they arrived. Should the book actually be thrown his way, Chris will be in great danger. The autism card can only go so far, and the community service argument that saved him during his trial after the incident at [[Target]] will not save him here.

On the linked YouTube page the opposite party, Snyder, chimed in to inform everyone that, while he had attempted to press charges against Chris for trespassing, the police informed him that he had no recourse to pursue legal action for Chris's trespassing or attempts to incite harassment. It all seems for naught anyway, as Snyder mentions that, not only has he not received any harassing messages, but he's actually gotten messages of congratulations and encouragement for putting that [[Chris|fat retard]] in his place.

{{quotebox|I have been told I have no recourse for any of his actions, and his encouraging people to harass me. Turnabout is fair play?? }}
{{quotebox|I want to thank all my fans for their calls supporting me, and feel he needs to stay home and get your calls. His phone number in the book is 434-990-0198. Happy dialing,
Mike 
Elvis has left the building }}

===A video with video===
The next day, [[Vivian Gee]] made a ''[[South Park]]''-style animation using the audio from this clip. Christian himself stopped by to make the following comments on her video:

{{quotebox|Hey, Vivian. I'm going to tell you right now that if you were trying to offend me with this "South Park" [[Parody]]; You Failed. This is just SOO FUNNY! You ought to know I like "South Park", especially the less dramatic, more comical episodes. ROFL}}

{{quotebox|Actually, there is ONE more thing you could to just make this a TOPPER of a Comical Scene; I gave him the finger as I left for real, so add a Sit-And-Spin in the silence right before the final insult. ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = episode 200 - the game place
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HWq4pB_Vikw}}
| Stardate = 13 April 2010
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan is not an Anti-Semite
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AAeawAbjyQA}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2010
| Maker = Stvx2
| Subject =
| Video Type = Jewdeo
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]
* [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?gmqwe4kmgzm MP3 download]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[F Abstinance]]|nextlink=[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]|}}

{{Videos}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

2010-04-16T23:26:21Z

Shogun: /* Transcript */

[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb|Chris begs the masses to support his cause.]]
'''Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean''' (full title "'''04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only).MOV'''") is an audio recording released by [[Chris]] chronicling an attempt to get himself unbanned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] by confronting [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder]], the [[manajerks|manager]] who permanently ejected him from the store in the summer of [[2008]]. Chris recorded their conversation by hiding a video camera in his pocket.

As usual, Chris adds this to his list of fails as Michael is unmoved by his attempts to get back in, and is entirely justified in this belief. According to Michael himself, Chris's plea was a script he had written down on a piece of paper.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y</ref> He also, it seems, can't remember why he was kicked out of the store in the first place. He mentions a "[[Nintendo|Wii]] incident," an occasion where he angered the management with his regular habit of taking over the store's television with his [[video game]] consoles, but otherwise he appears to be genuinely confused as to why Snyder won't let him back in. Oddly, yet hilariously, Chris adds to his streak of [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racist videos]] by shouting "JEW!" at Michael as he leaves the store, [[South Park|like a certain other fat kid]]. Of note, Michael is not actually Jewish, and the last name Snyder (or Schneider) is German in origin.

The conversation took place on 12 [[April 2010]] and Chris uploaded it to [[YouTube]] later the same day. Shortly after it was posted, the recording was removed from YouTube due to a terms of use violation, either because of Chris's anti-Semitic attitude, because the recording itself may have been illegal, or because of the dox and incitement to harass dropped in the description. In the early morning hours of the next day, Chris added a text-only [[:File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|image]] on the front page of [[CWCipedia]] accusing Michael Snyder of [[Kick the Autistic|discriminating against him]] for having [[autism]] (which is just conjecture on Chris's part, as opposed to Chris's own completely undeniable discrimination against Snyder for having a name he thinks sounds Jewish), and linked to a mirror of the deleted video.

One way or another, this video is absolute proof of Chris violating the law--he dropped into the store unannounced with full knowledge that he wasn't supposed to be there. [[Virginia]] defines this as "trespassing", which is a crime punishable by a fine not to exceed $2500, at most one year in prison, or both. According to Mimms, cops were called after this happened, though it is currently unknown, yet still very unlikely, if Michael will press the issue.

==Description==
In the video's description, copied below, Chris invites his fans to harass Snyder and other store employees. Roughly a month after turning on his [[fans|fan following]] and describing them as "[[Chris|greedy, impatient, unloved and corrupted people]]" in his 10 March [[CWC Blog|blog entry]], he's back to believing that he has a personal army.

{{quotebox|This happened on my recent visit to the Game & Hobby Place. My Camera was hidden in my Vest Pocket.

I encourage all to go there in person, find Michael, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|pester/Troll]] the hell out of him (other employees who support him optional). Also say to Michael, "[[Chris and race|Do Not Discriminate]] Against People like Christian Weston Chandler."

243 Ridge McIntire Road Charlottesville, VA 22903 (434) 984-1040}}

Michael then proceeded to drop Chris's phone number (however, Chris had beaten him to the punch multiple times).
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only).MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|6odVsyr3I40}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 12 April 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason, {{Rage}} Rage
| Saga =
| Shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[F_Abstinance]]
| next = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]}}

===Transcript===

[''Chris is speaking into a recorder. From the sound of it, it seems like he is inside his [[Son-chu|car]].'']

'''Chris:''' This is Christian Weston Chandler, [[Captain's Log]]. Stardate... 4:34 PM, Monday, April 12, 2010. I am about to go into the Game and Comic Hobby Place — also sell toys there — to get myself, to try to get myself unbanned and get forgiveness for the mistake I have made almost a year ago when I was banned from the store in June of 2008.

[''Heavy [[sigh]] from Chris.'']

'''Chris:''' The dude who banned me was, his name is Michael Snyder, possibly a [[Chris and race#Jews|Jew]] considering his last name. [[Lie|Nothing bad against the Jews, but I'm just throwin' it out there.]] Alright, so, here I go. [''sigh'']

[''Chris turns off the engine and leaves the car. He approahces the store, and the chime of The Game Place's door alarm can be heard as he goes inside. "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray faintly plays in the background, while we get a good view of the inside of Chris's pocket.'']

'''Chris:''' Hello, I'm here to see Michael.

 '''Employee:''' Yeah, he's in the room back here.

[''We come upon Michael, who is fixing an RC car. His remarks are occasionally interrupted by whoever he is helping. Judging by the audio, Chris is standing relatively close to him, close enough to occasionally hear whoever Michael is speaking with.'']

 '''Michael:''' Well, I mean, you're, you, you'll just see that by running it. I mean, it was running okay the other day. But just, you know, adjust it one way or the other depending on temperature and everything else. But, you know, it just, it's not usually much. By changing fuel, it doesn't usually change... tuning that much. Mmkay... Uh-huh. Yeah, no, it'll be fine... Right, yeah, it'll be fine. [pause] Okay... Okay... Who made it?

[''The recorder seems to move away from the conversation, and a long silence follows. Various store noises occur in the background, including the bell from someone opening the front door.'']

 '''Michael:''' Okay. Alright. Sounds good. Mm-hm. Bye.

'''Chris:''' Hello, Michael. I see, uh... You've been, I see you're looking well. Haven't changed much since, for the past almost two years. And, yeah, it has been, uh, almost two years since... uh, what happened, uh, June- June of 2008. But, uh, I came back hoping that, uh, we could put that behind us and...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' Come on. I mean, it has been almost two years, and it's just been on my mind for so long, just be...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, can't we just [[Mary Lee Walsh|forgive]] and forget?

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' C'mon, to have this...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...weight on my back...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' And I have really...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...missed coming here.

 '''Michael:''' No. No. You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I'm, I'm a better person...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] C'mon, what? Come on, dude...

 '''Michael:''' No! You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' [[Twin Falling Towers|How can you be so heartless?]] I mean, you're, I mean, you're obviously not as mean as one of those trolls I've been dealing with...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I mean, come on, I mean, obviously you have something against me, [''four beeping noises are heard, possibly Michael dialing out to 911''] because aside from the Wii incident, I just would like to know ''what''. Come on. Gimme a break. Alright, fine, I'll leave.

[''His tone becomes sharp and angry.'']

'''Chris:''' But I hope that [[Chris and Religion|God will forgive you]] for being so [[Chris and Hypocrisy#"I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance|heartless and cruel]], Michael Snyder!

 '''Michael:''' He probably will.

'''Chris:''' JEW!

[''Chris goes out the door, tape runs out.'']

==Aftermath==
During the confrontation, Michael called the [[jerkops|police]]. However, Chris was long gone by the time they arrived. Should the book actually be thrown his way, Chris will be in great danger. The autism card can only go so far, and the community service argument that saved him during his trial after the incident at [[Target]] will not save him here.

On the linked YouTube page the opposite party, Snyder, chimed in to inform everyone that, while he had attempted to press charges against Chris for trespassing, the police informed him that he had no recourse to pursue legal action for Chris's trespassing or attempts to incite harassment. It all seems for naught anyway, as Snyder mentions that, not only has he not received any harassing messages, but he's actually gotten messages of congratulations and encouragement for putting that [[Chris|fat retard]] in his place.

{{quotebox|I have been told I have no recourse for any of his actions, and his encouraging people to harass me. Turnabout is fair play?? }}
{{quotebox|I want to thank all my fans for their calls supporting me, and feel he needs to stay home and get your calls. His phone number in the book is 434-990-0198. Happy dialing,
Mike 
Elvis has left the building }}

===A video with video===
The next day, [[Vivian Gee]] made a ''[[South Park]]''-style animation using the audio from this clip. Christian himself stopped by to make the following comments on her video:

{{quotebox|Hey, Vivian. I'm going to tell you right now that if you were trying to offend me with this "South Park" [[Parody]]; You Failed. This is just SOO FUNNY! You ought to know I like "South Park", especially the less dramatic, more comical episodes. ROFL}}

{{quotebox|Actually, there is ONE more thing you could to just make this a TOPPER of a Comical Scene; I gave him the finger as I left for real, so add a Sit-And-Spin in the silence right before the final insult. ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = episode 200 - the game place
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HWq4pB_Vikw}}
| Stardate = 13 April 2010
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan is not an Anti-Semite
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AAeawAbjyQA}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2010
| Maker = Stvx2
| Subject =
| Video Type = Jewdeo
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]
* [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?gmqwe4kmgzm MP3 download]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[F Abstinance]]|nextlink=[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]|}}

{{Videos}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]